{"id": "t3_1wbdsh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 F] with my friend [19 M], not sure if I may have messed things up already.", "post": "Hello hello everybody. I hope this isn't too trivial of a question to ask on here, but I've been feeling a bit out of my depth when it comes to this situation (I've had only one relationship before, and for many reasons, it was out of the ordinary).\n\nOkay! So, a couple of weeks ago, I started talking to this guy on Facebook, through a student group that we were both part of. I thought he was sort of cute, so I sent him a PM just to talk, etc, etc. We're both transfer students at the same school, so I knew that we could eventually meet in person once we both moved on-campus. So, we did, and we hung out maybe twice, just as friends.\n\nOkay. So, everything is going pretty well. We talk over Facebook and Snapchat, whatever. So, Saturday night, I was just hanging out with people and kind of being bored, when I got a Snapchat from him asking what I was doing. I asked if he wanted to hang out, so we did. \n\nWe ended up smoking pot (the first time for me, ever), and sort of just wandering around. Eventually we ended up back at his dorm room, where high me decided to just go for it, and I came on to him pretty strongly. It worked out for me (luckily, otherwise things would have been really super awkward), and we ended up messing around but not having sex.\n\nYesterday, however, I ended up going to hang out with him again, and this time we did sleep together. Afterward, we kind of discussed what we were going to do, and he just said that he wanted to \"play it by ear\" and not slap any labels on anything. I'm wondering if this means that he wants a fwb-type situation, or if he might actually be interested in me. The way I've been acting is extremely out of character for me, and I am not interested in having a fuck buddy. I like him, and I would be very interested in maybe seeing where things go, but I'm worried that I may have ruined my chances of a relationship by sleeping with him already.", "summary": "I really like this guy, but after having sex with him after only knowing him for a very brief period of time, I am worried that I may have ruined my chances of a relationship with him."} {"id": "t3_4sdnjx", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "My 11 year old sons friend died suddenly, his funeral is today and my son suddenly doesn't want to attend.", "post": "**repost from relationships**\n\nA couple of weeks ago my sons friend died in a freak accident, it was completely shocking and horrific. He isn't aware of the details, but we broke the news to him as soon as we found out and have spoke about it many times with him.\n\nHe has cried about it, asked questions and spoken about it with his older siblings (who have also recently lost a friend) and seemed to be okay with it (considering the circumstances).\n\nLeading up to the funeral, we have talked about it and explained what he is to expect, etc. This is his first funeral, so we have made sure that he is aware of everything.\n\nBut today is the day, and he has broken down in the morning and says he doesn't want to go. I have no idea what to do. Do I push him to go? I am worried that he will regret it later, as he is a kid who doesn't like to do new things. But at the same time, I don't want to pressure him to do something he doesn't want to do.\nAdvice, please?", "summary": "Sons good friend died and his funeral is today. Son was always wanting to go until today. Do I push him to go, or let him skip it?"} {"id": "t3_2g42p8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "The girl [26 F] I [22 M] have been seeing for a month didn't respond to me at all yesterday while hanging out with a friend [~30? M].", "post": "She gets terrible service while at her house, but I texted her 3 times yesterday, 4-5 hours apart. She didn't call me until early this morning and left a voicemail that she was busy all day with a friend who showed up out of the blue.\n\nI saw that she posted a picture of the two of them out of her dead zone house on facebook before I texted her the last time.\n\nI don't mind that she hangs out with friends, and I know it's pretty early in the relationship, but am I wrong to be a little annoyed that she didn't respond until 24 hours after my first text?", "summary": "Girl I'm seeing didn't respond to my texts while hanging out with a friend, what should I do, if anything?"} {"id": "t3_4oyv23", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by accidently kicking an old woman", "post": "So this didn't happen today but actually about a year or two ago.\n\nI was at my granddads funeral so of course it was all very sad and full of lots of crying old people. After the ceremony everyone walks outside the building and onto the other side of the small road the hearses drive down. Now the road is important because obviously if there's a road, there's a curb onto the sidewalk, so most of us are on the other side of the road, besides a few older people walking a lot slower. \n\nAs one of the old woman goes to walk up the curb she trips (obviously didn't notice there was one due to crying and whatnot) and I'm the only one who not only sees it coming but is in any position to do anything. So of course as someone who is an avid football (soccer if you're American) player my first instinct is to stick my foot out and kind of control her head like you would with a football.\n\nOf course you can imagine this looked horrendously bad on my part (quite literally kicking an old woman while she's down) and as she got up everyone noticed that her nose was completely grey/black as if she'd just been punched in the face. She assures us she's fine and we go to the dinner afterwards where someone finally informs her of her bruising. She goes to the toilet and comes out with a completely normal looking nose so of course everyone's wondering how and it turns out that the \"bruising\" was actually shoe polish from my shoe, confirming to everyone that i kicked this poor old lady square in the face as she fell.", "summary": "Tried to stop an old lady falling, kicked her in the face, made her look like she'd been 3 rounds with Mike Tyson"} {"id": "t3_2u6e8x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [32 M] found out my wife [31 F] had an affair a year and a half ago, now I can't stop thinking about other women.", "post": "Wife and I moved accross the country with our two daughters ", "summary": "Husband who gives me flack for being close to my family tells me that we will never move closer to them, meanwhile secretly planning his mother getting a job to move to our town. "} {"id": "t3_3lmtkx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] not knowing how to handle my BF [24M] confessing", "post": "I have been with him for 3 years now. A few days ago he told me over the phone, just before bed that he is developing feelings for this other girl [22F], let's call her T. He says he still wants to be with me.\n\nA bit about T. He got to know T through a group assignment at uni last term and although the assignment is over, they've kept in contact with each other over Facebook, texts and weekly study sessions. Initially the messages were strictly about uni/study but they started exchanging pictures of their pets, a few selfies, liking his profile picture...it grew *friendlier* if you like. When I started getting suspicious and voiced it to him, he made me feel like I was being irrational/paranoid.\n\nEventually it started intruding on my time with my BF. We were out on our anniversary date and he would be messaging her. We would have dinner together and he would send her pictures of his food. Somehow he failed to mention that he had a GF in the entire time they've known each other but I am quite sure neither T nor my BF have done anything physical.\n\nAfter he told me, we agreed that he would stop seeing her and cut down on messaging as well. Meeting him in the last few days was hard because as much as I want to forgive him, I am constantly reminded of what he had done...and I don't think he understands how I am struggling because he continues to make jokes about 'her pussy' (she has a cat). He called it his coping mechanism but I couldn't handle feeling the stress of trying to love somebody who has hurt me. So...I told him that we should take a one week break. Don't contact either T or me.\n\nHowever this morning he messaged me saying he was going to meet up with her tomorrow. He says this is his way of getting over her...but it just causes me more pain and I don't know if I can trust him.", "summary": "BF confessed to me about having feelings for [22F]. I told him to cut contact. Initially he agreed to it but now he wants to meet her again."} {"id": "t3_2yy542", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of 4.5 years, have not seen or spoken to each other (besides a few texts here and there) for 2 months.(Story in comments)", "post": "Been dating the same guy for 4.5 years. He lives a little over an hour away. We were really close in the beginning. Over the past two years, there has been a decline. I have addressed this multiple times and he refuses to work on the relationship and sometimes just ignores me. \n\nEventually, it became that every time we saw each other he would mainly play video games. Later, he joined a band. I went to see the band once. No one in the band knew that he had a girlfriend and felt uncomfortable that I was around. I later had to tell them I was the girlfriend to which they replied ,\"Sorry, we didn't know he had a girlfriend.\" We always had each other's facebook passwords as a form trust. He changed his facebook password and had me walk to the otherside of the room as he typed his info in. I tried to ask him about this and just changed the subject.\n\nOver the past two months, he has made no effort to see me. He has never called me. He did not acknowledge Valentine's day or my birthday. There have been a few texts here and there ,but nothing of real substance. About a week ago he sent he a picture of a glass he bought. I said \"cool\" and that was the end of the conversation.\n\nThe question is; should I try to mend things or just break-up? If I do break-up, how should I do it?", "summary": "Boyfriend does not make an effort to work on relationship. Has done some shady shit. Should I call it off."} {"id": "t3_3rohsp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [f23] don't want to go on a second date with [m24]. He is angry and thinks I'm shallow", "post": "A month ago I met a 24M on Okcupid. We liked each others pictures and hit it off, and so went on the date.\n\nThe date was... Cringeworthy. First off he was 5'5 at most instead of 5'9 like he said he was. I'm a 5'7 female, not a freakishly tall woman ny any means, but I do look for a man who is at least my hight or taller. I don't think that's unreasonable. I mean, I'm slightly overweight and I don't expect great abs or CQ model looks. But I won't date shorter than me.\n\nThe guy, lets call him Josh, made me uncomfortable throughout the entire date. He made sexual comments, asked me about my sexual past etc. He played a cheesy song, wrote a crappy poem for me at the restaurant and said he loved me...\n\nI was really annoyed with him. When the bill came I planned on splitting it, but he had forgotten his wallet and I ended up paying. He asked me for another date but I told him we weren't compatible and thanked him for the evening. He seemed okay, but then he started texting me, asking if it was because of his height. I told him it wasn't. He sent me an angry message about how I am only a a 6\\10 and that women only want 6'5 guys and that he had to lie on dating sites.\n\nHonestly yes, his height is a turn off but his behavior is more so. He now texts me about once a day and tries to convince me to 'be friends'. I don't want anything to do with him. What can I do?", "summary": "= guy from okcupid is pissed cause I rejected him. He is now borderline stalking me.what can I do?"} {"id": "t3_rd41n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "We've said I love you...but I feel like we should say it more?", "post": "My boyfriend and I are both 18 and have been dating for almost 9 months. He said \"I love you\" first after about 7 months and I said it back (I had known I love him for a few months but didn't want my saying it to pressure him since this is his first relationship). Since then I've said it like \"goodnight I love you\" and he says it back but I noticed he doesn't say it first. He's probably only said it like 4 times since the first time. I'm not sure how to talk to him about it because I don't want to seem weird like \"hey I think we should say 'I love you' more\" but I also get really self conscious always saying it first in order to hear it back. I guess the only plus is that its really special when I hear it since its not very often but I also feel really sad when I want to say it but feel like he'll just say it back because I said it. Pleaseee help! Or tell me how often other people in relationships say 'I love you'", "summary": "boyfriend doesn't say I love you very often (like only has said it 4 times in the 2 months since he first said it) and not sure how to go about getting him to say it more."} {"id": "t3_sfqdo", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is windows 8 as a primary os sort of ready yet?", "post": "So As of late I've had a large stroke of bad luck and today my windows decided to go nuts. Upon starting up my laptop this morning I got a few errors, looking them up and trying to fix them I got rid of them. 10 minutes later I got a windows update so I restarted my laptop, windows 7 bootscreen comes up then a blue screen of death decides to show up. Thinking the BSOD was a fluke I restarted again and I got the loginscreen, logged in, desktop was starting up as slow as hell and then again a BSOD...\n\nSo after a hard long search for my Windows 7 disk, I find out that it was thrown away a long while ago with the key... As I am against pirating, I'm probably going to buy windows 7 again but I remembered that the consumer version of Windows 8 is already here...", "summary": "Should I download the consumer version of windows 8 and wait for the release of windows 8 before purchasing a new windows or just purchase windows 7 now?"} {"id": "t3_3rb31u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 F] with my ?? [27/28 M] 5mo, I like him more and it sucks.", "post": "I think I need a kick in the pants.\n\nA few months ago I started having sex with a (not close at all) friend and everything was good. We were both recently out of relationships and it was fun. I caught the feels and things started going downhill from there. At that point we discussed it and concluded there were feelings on both ends but unsure about starting an actual relationship (he didn't want to, I didn't know). \n\nBut now it's obvious I like him more and it sucks. When we're together it's good but when we're not it's not good at all. We used to hang out a lot but lately not much at all, due to him. When he doesn't want to, I get upset. Often I hide it but occasionally it bubbles out and I ask him to just tell it like it is if he doesn't like me anymore. It makes me feel insane but I can't seem to help it. After a while, I calm down, but as soon as I think I'm okay, I get sucked right back in.\n\nIronically I've been casually dating another guy about the same amount of time and we're in opposing positions - he likes me more and I'm on the fence. It makes me feel guilty when I'm upset about the first guy and don't have the energy to give the second any attention. \n\nJust in case of questions, neither knows about the other, but both know we're not exclusive.\n\nI'm not sure what I want out of this or either of them. I wish things were back to earlier in the summer when everything was just for fun, or that I could take a step back emotionally.", "summary": "I'm in two casual relationships that are very different from each other. One I like more and invest way too much of my emotions into while he pulls away and the other is exactly the opposite."} {"id": "t3_oya2n", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the best/most memorable wedding you've ever been to, and why?", "post": "I'm helping my best friend plan her wedding. Never planned anything like a wedding before. I was hoping there would be a /r/weddingporn subreddit like /r/foodporn and /r/roomporn, but I can't find anything like that. So I thought I'd ask the hive mind: what was the most memorable wedding you've ever been to, and why? \n\nI'm looking for inspiration and hoping your stories give me ideas. My friend isn't religious, but she's into the idea of incorporating cool wedding customs from other cultures/religions/etc., if we can make them meaningful to her.\n\nObviously she's on a budget and not hiring a real wedding planner, but I would still love to hear stories about crazy, outrageous, big weddings because we might be able to figure out ways to do smaller versions of bigger ideas.", "summary": "not asking for anyone to help me plan this wedding, but would love to hear fun stories from the most awesome weddings you've been to, hoping they'll inspire me as I plan one."} {"id": "t3_2jrkfc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with my bf[23m] been together just over a year, broken up and I cannot help but feel so guilty.", "post": "So me and my now ex met online July 2013. From the start I knew he was a really disciplined individual because of his eating habits ( very strict; non GMO, only free range meats etc..), his education and his martial arts career. \n\nThings were great up until 4 months ago, we would argue all the time about everything. We would have super intense arguments over the stupidest things like me wearing make up (he thought I looked hideous and super fake) or like me talking about something stressful in my life without warning him first that I was going to do that. He restricted my ability to talk about my stress in life to the weekends because he \"couldn't handle my emotions all the time\" and when it came down to discussing my stress or an argument, he would dissect every emotion to action to reaction to emotion. I just couldn't do that anymore, even after letting him know all I wanted him to do is just to listen, not to analyze in explicit detail everything I was feeling and my actions because of those feelings. \n\nI even went to counseling for the last 3 weeks because he said my communication is poor and I don't understand the English Language ( even though it is my first language). I was just going to counseling by myself. He never offered to come along with me. \n\nSo I broke up with him yesterday, and it wasn't until I said \" I realized through the counseling that I am just done trying to make us work\" was he then willing to commit and go to counseling and \"Do whatever it takes to keep you here with me\" I didn't give in to that because I feel like if he really did want to make us work, he would have been that committed since the beginning of our problems. \n\nBut now I feel really guilty. I feel like I should have given him that opportunity. I don't know if it's just a post break up feeling or if I genuinely made a huge mistake.", "summary": "broke up with bf, now feeling really guilty and that I didn't give him the opportunity to help fix the relationship."} {"id": "t3_1er73z", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Me [18m] and my gf [15f] just broke up a few days ago after 2.5 years.. Where do I go now?", "post": "I apologize because I'm sure people on this thread have read a ton of \"How do I get over her/him\" posts, but this was my first serious relationship, and I am not sure where to begin with continuing my life.\n\nBasics: Me and her were dating for 2 and a half years, and we just broke up a few days ago. It wasn't a bad break and we weren't fighting, we had a civil discussion which basicly concluded to the fact that neither of us was truly happy and we needed to move on.\n\nMe and this girl have done everything together for the last two years, she comes on family camping trips and vacations with me, she spends a week or more sometimes living at my house, and now I feel kind of lost.\n\nI'm happy with the break, I know that it's the right thing for me, but I don't want to lose all of the good things that we had in our relationship, and I'm not sure if it's healthy to continue hanging out and enjoying the things we enjoy together as friends instead of as a couple.\n\nSo my question is, where do I go next? What is my next step? I have an entire summer vacation ahead of me before I start my first year of college, and I don't want to spend it all trying to get over this girl. She was such a huge part of my life, that without her I feel like I'm missing part of myself.\n\nI'm trying to view this, and college starting, as an entire new beginning. I'm reconnecting with some old friends, I cut my hair, I've started yoga and doing some activities I haven't done in a long time.", "summary": "We broke up a few days ago, I feel lost with myself and don't know what I should be doing next to continue my life."} {"id": "t3_13ljjh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Gf troubles I (m18)recently found out something about my (18F) gf that is really bothering me", "post": "My gf and I have been dating for about a year and 4 months. We have had a good relationship with only a few hiccups, she is my first gf and I am her first bf. Lately I have been hitting the gym with my friend and I have grown close to him and is now my best friend. In recent time we have been talking about masturbation, she has been comfortable about talking about it with me. She was very upset that I watched porn but she would let me, that same day I found out through another friend that she masturbated to the thought of my best friend which in result really angered me and hurt in a way. I thought I was over reacting but I can't seem to get over it. When I asked if it was true she said it was true and I cussed at her through text and told her to leave me alone, because I just was really upset because he is my best friend. After this I texted her and we were back to normal but then we started to sext and the thought of what happened haunts me and now I can't bare the thought of her. So I told her that I needed space to think and to leave alone for a while, I said this politely and she understood. Now she called me and left a voicemail because I was busy and she said that she was bad at giving me space and was hoping to hear my voice, but that she will leave me alone until I text or call her. So my question is that was my behavior bad? Over reaction? Also what should I do from here?", "summary": "In short my gf has masturbated to the thought of my best friend and I had to find out through another friend, I have mixed feelings about the whole thing.I want to know what I should do from this point on."} {"id": "t3_2y8s9w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [24M] in a long distance relationship with my gf [22F]. I'm not sure how to advance this", "post": "We have been together for a year but we live on different continents. She's about to graduate and I've already been working for quite some time. I come visit her every chance I get and I feel like we're really compatible. How would I take this to the next level?\nI get thoughts of wanting to propose to her, but that would require her to leave her entire life, friends, career future and family away to move in with me. I feel like that's a lot to ask for, but is it? I'm not sure.. \n\nI've already brushed indirectly about the subject, asking if she'd want to stay where she is. She said she definitely would want to leave her country, but again, I feel like I'd feel better if I got to know that she's willing to do it because she thinks is right rather than do it because I asked her out of love.", "summary": "gf lives in another continent. Not sure how to ask her to give up her life to marry and live with me"} {"id": "t3_4dbapo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [35F] with my boyfriend [38M] 2.5 years, I think I just gave him an ultimatum? **UPDATE**", "post": "[Original post.\n](\n \nWe had breakfast a week later and talked about everything, the house and whatnot, and he said he is working on it and he feels awful about it and doesn't want to lose me and he missed me a lot this week. He said his goal is to be in there by the end of the month and I reiterated that I am willing to help in any way I can, and gave some specific examples of how I would be willing to help.\n\nAs of Friday, he is living in his house full-time.\n\nHe made a good point about how my eagerness to \"start our life together\" made him feel like I didn't like or appreciate what we have now, which I understand in a way. I had to explain that it wasn't that, it was that I love what we have now so much that I want MORE. i want to transition to more. I think he got that.\n\nWe continued it into dinner and he kept mentioning THE PLAN (\"the plan\" being a plan for our future/to propose) again and i was like WHAT IS THE PLAN and he said he couldn't tell me, so I asked for a timeframe at least, and he said he plans to propose by the end of the year (!!!!).\n\nI asked him to please tell my PARENTS the plan so they will stop asking me or saying OH MAYBE HE'LL PROPOSE on any holiday or special occasion and making me anxious. \n\nThen we had really, really good sex.", "summary": "He moved into his house and has a plan to propose by the end of the year. He seemed to \"get it\"."} {"id": "t3_2wqdh8", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "How do I safely lower my libido?", "post": "I'm a 20 year old female and I get that this is only normal considering my age but I can't handle myself anymore. I have never had sex and don't plan on it right now due to body issues etc. I masturbate everyday and sometimes more than once. I stopped watching porn because its unfulfilling and instead sext/phone sex with a guy friend of mine. I've been regularly going to the gym. Eating mostly healthy and sleeping the right amount. But regardless of all this, I feel horny almost all the time, especially with this guy friend. I've come to the point where I feel I need sex and having had a bad experience before and where I am with my self image right now, I can't get myself to participate in sexual intercourse. Please let me know of any ways I can help lower my libido. Thank you", "summary": "Don't want sex due to body issues. High libido has me frustrated, and unfulfilled all the time even after masturbating. Help me"} {"id": "t3_317ipa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "25M professional artist/animator/illustrator dating hobbyist artists. How to deal?", "post": "Not sure how useful it is to post this here but here goes.\n\nI am usually pretty critical about art in general. I'm excited when people are into it but it's really difficult when someone says they do art, you date them then they link you to their deviantart and it's all really really amateur sketches of anime characters. What do I do at this point when I am really critical about this particular stereotype regarding 'hobbyist artists' who turn out to.....not be any good?\n\nI can't just go on lying saying their art is good when my standards are pretty high at this point. Been doing this stuff over 10 years. Visual art is something 'anyone' can do, so the quality of it varies a lot. \n\nAm I being an asshole or can someone actually give me good advice on how to overcome this? Am I supposed to say 'yeah it's good' then turn around to my other art friends and defend how good it is later? It's not like I'm dating a med student and telling her I'm a doctor in my spare time...", "summary": "When meeting an awesome person who happens to do art as a hobby, but turns out to be really bad at it, how do I, as a professional artist date someone without lying about it? T_T"} {"id": "t3_4v9vy8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriends[32] ex still hangs out with her daughter.", "post": "Hello,\n\nRecently things have gotten more serious with my gf who is 32 and has a daughter and myself who is 29 and has no kids. She broke up with her ex somewhat recently, maybe 6 months ago or so. Her ex constantly calls to talk to her daughter (nearly nightly) and watches her probably one or two nights a week, and hangs out with her for probably every other weekend (for the whole weekend). When we first started hanging out I didn't really care, but now that she wants to be more serious it's starting to seem very strange to say the least. I brought it up a tiny bit by saying I understand that you dated him for like 3 years but doesn't he want his own children and family someday? What if you moved across the country? He's not the dad. I know it would be hard to let go of a child, but for his sake and the little girls sake I wonder what's right. The conversation didn't really go anywhere and she just said if he wants to see her she isn't going to say no. I tried to let it go but now this week he is taking her daughter for a week and a half camping trip. This just seems wrong to me, and it seems like most men she dates in the future would question it and most women her ex dates would wonder why he is always with her ex's daughter. I feel like there's something nefarious behind this, and maybe one or the other is trying to keep hooks in the other through the child. It seems so strange to me, am I being crazy?", "summary": "girlfriend has an ex that is extremely close with daughter after break up, thus staying close to her. I wonder if it's time to ween them apart or the proper way to handle this, or if I'm being crazy."} {"id": "t3_43tag2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [16 F] is hurt by what her boyfriend [15 M]of one/two months said about her", "post": "My friend (Mary) was Face timing with her boyfriend (Joe) and started to ask him about what he dislikes about her. Joe mentions that he doesn't really like Mary's small chest and dislikes her bony hands. (She's really skinny). Of course, Mary is hurt by this and I'm not sure how to judge Joe. He has consistently shown signs of immaturity but he seems to care for her well being.\n\nI understand that people have preferences and all but how should a person react to this kind of confession? Does he genuinely love her if he finds these physical qualities about her a bit unappealing?", "summary": "Joe told Mary he finds Mary's small chest and bony hands unappealing. How should she feel about this?"} {"id": "t3_107vau", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I need some advice regarding a female friend of mine. (she's almost 20 and i'm almost 22)", "post": "Okay, I've been friends with this girl for about 10 months. I first met her at college about a year ago. She had a boyfriend at first, but eventually she broke up with him, and started to pay more attention to me. Soon, we went out several times, started to text a lot, etc. She made it seem like she wanted me to be her boyfriend by how she acted, but when school was over and we went back home (we live relatively close) she acted like she didn't have time to hang out.\nEventually she told me she was going out with this other guy, whom she actually did make her boyfriend. I was pretty devastated, and I realized I had been friendzoned. We still text constantly.\nAnyway, she's been dating him for a couple months and she mentions how she's having trouble trusting him, because he's going to NYC this weekend and some hot friend of his will be there. Oh yeah, and she mentioned that he told her that he has cheated on his girlfriends before, but he would *never* do it again. I just want to ask her what the fuck she is thinking, but I don't want to come off as a dick, and I don't want to ruin my future chances by giving her a piece of my mind. I'm obsessing over this; I really like her a lot, and I care about her, but I really don't understand what's going through her head. Any advice?", "summary": "Girl I really like friendzoned me, is currently dating a scumbag. What do I do to tell her my feelings on the subject without hurting my future chances with her?"} {"id": "t3_2jojzw", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by inviting the locals to hang out with the hairy twins", "post": "Ok as is quite common, this didn't happen today, this happened many years ago in the far north Australian town of cooktown \nCooktown, was a great place, heaps of Sun, good fishing etc. \nBut just my luck as a young boy, I ventured into the Bush to get my fishing line (my bad for a terrible cast) and disturbed some local natives, I didn't notice anything at the time. \nThe hours passed and I was enjoying fishing on the jetty, my body began to succumb to urinary urges and I went in search of a place to Pee, which as a guy is easy. \nAnyway, for some reason I couldn't feel myself peeing, again, didn't think much of it. \nLater in the day I needed to take a Shit, and I couldn't feel my Ass when sitting on the toilet seat, at this time I brought it to my parents attention. We went to cooktown hospital, or medical clinic, I don't really remember. The doctor had a look, specifically my rear end, and I remember the doctor quite well, he was a very chatty person and at the moment his eyes laid upon my rear end he went quiet, and after a few seconds of awkward silence he uttered words I'll never forget \"oh Shit\". A paralysis tick had found it's way to the back of my scrotum, that little bloodsucking demon, it's head buried deep within my manlyhood, after 4 hours of the doctor trying to extract the tick with the conventional methylated spirits way, and by the way, metho on your balls feels unusual. In the end I was anesthetised and a portion of my scrotum, including the bulbous little monster was removed. I couldn't Pee without crying like a little Bitch for a month and I cannot Pee straight anymore, on top of that I now have a tight shiny scarred scrotum.", "summary": "I wandered into the forest, picked up a vampiric hitchhiker that ruined my ability to urinate for the rest of my life and had lost part of my scrotum."} {"id": "t3_4wunhy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My GF [25, F] and I [24, M] live together, but she lost her job and isn't really trying to find a new one. [3 years, 9 months cohabiting]", "post": "My GF lost her job 3 weeks ago today. As of this point, to the best of my knowledge, she has only submitted a single resume to a potential employer, despite being home all the time. She didn't even file for her unemployment benefits until Saturday, 19 days after she was let go.\n\nI can afford the rent if she were to be unemployed, but things would be stretched far too thin for me to have any kind of flexibility or free time, as I would be putting in extra overtime.\n\nThe fact that she is so seemingly unmotivated to find a job really bothers me, and I don't want to have to support both of us as a young adult who is still establishing his career.\n\nThe relationship was somewhat strained before all this happened, but now it is getting to be so much that I am 50/50 on whether or not to continue. If I were to end things, she wouldn't really have a guaranteed place to go - her parents live locally, but her father moved into her room when she moved out, and she would hate to move back in with them anyway, due to major differences in ideals.\n\nSo, I'm not sure what I should do. She's not helping herself, and is showing zero initiative in taking her own future under control. She stays at home watching anime and playing WoW. She hasn't taken on any additional chores at the house despite having 50 hours of extra free time a week. What do you guys think?", "summary": "GF is not looking for a job, not helping to ease my burden, and has nowhere to go if things were to end. 3 weeks, 1 resume. No unemployment filed until this last weekend. Help?"} {"id": "t3_1ee8td", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I am sick and tired of having to deal with my severely depressed and sometimes seemingly suicidal friend.", "post": "My friend, lets call him Dude, has been dealing with depression (undiagnosed but I know for sure it is, he just refuses to see a doctor or tell his family) For almost a year now he has been doing nothing but complaining and whining about the same three things, every day.\nNo matter what I say to him he never stops complaining.\n He is in love with a mutual friend,obsessive, unhealthy love, and she doesn't feel the same way at ll. This drives him crazy and makes him question his entire life. Every few months they they a huge fight because she gets tried of saying no and trying to explain how she doesn't have the same feelings towards him and this causes him to break down and question living. Its the same thing, every time, every few months and I am so damn tired of having to repeat the same things over and over.\n\nHe one of my best friends, but Im at my wits end here. I cant keep doing this wash rinse repeat bullshit that he puts himself and everyone around him through. \n\nHe refuses to seek help or tell his family how he feels. I have a bunch of texts from him explaining how he wants to kill himself and how he keeps thinking of new ways. I have them saved, but he thinks I have deleted them. If he continues to refuse help and get deeper into his depression Im going to show his parents the texts. \n\nI just cant keep doing this anymore, I cant keep watching him destroy himself yet refuse to get help when its clear he needs it. I am respecting his wishes and not telling his parents or anyone else, but if this keeps up and he seems to be getting closer to harming himself Im going to tell his parents.\n\nThis has been building up for a year now, I just need to get this off my chest.", "summary": "My friend is depressed yet wont seek help and repeats the same cycle over and over again and I cant deal with watching him anymore."} {"id": "t3_2czvj0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Help, please. M(26)y WiF(25)e and I just looked at our wedding photos and she hates them.", "post": "So my wife and I have been married for two months and we just got our first look at our wedding photos. She hates them. My wife feels like there are a ton of photos of my family and hardly any of her's, in truth our photographer did appear to focus on my family. In addition, she felt like a lot of the pictures didn't look as \"professional\" as she was expecting (i.e., bad lighting, our stances look forced, bad positioning of flowers and whatnot, very few photos of guest and other family, pictures of the photographers daughters at the wedding mixed with the wedding party, etc.).\n\nThe photographer in question is someone we know through our church. My father is also the pastor of said church so bringing up our displeasure would cause a lot of drama we would prefer to avoid, if possible. If necessary we will talk to our photographer like adults, but, in my experience, being a pastor's son can make it difficult to keep my issues centered on me and not somehow transferred onto my dad. That was a long way of saying I'm looking for a solution where I can do something special for my wife and keep it between us and family.\n\nMy wife has a, \"I don't want to talk about it because there is nothing to do about it\" mentality right now. Even now she is in a bit of a quiet rage at the other end of out couch. I'm looking for a possible solution of something I could do that would help ease her anger and, hopefully, make up for some of the bad photos. Obviously I can't go back in time and getting all that family together again would be incredibly difficult but I'm willing to hear all advise and ideas. Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any ideas of what I can do to help make this better?", "summary": "Wife hates our wedding photos and I am looking for some advise on a possible solution. Anyone been in a similar situation and have any advise or ideas?"} {"id": "t3_220e9s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(21F) Found porn on my bf's (21M) tablet. He says it's not his, but no one else has used his tablet.", "post": "Background: Him and I have been together for about 1 year and a half. He's only given me a reason to doubt him once, and I can't actually blame him for it because we were not technically together. That's whole other story.\n\nNow, it's not that I don't care if he looks at porn, because I do care. I feel jealous and insecure. Yet, I don't forbid him from doing it. I won't even be upset if he does, just secretly jealous. So, I've never told him that he can't look at porn. To me, it sounds like \"lame girlfriend taking away all my fun\".\n\nHe's told me repeatedly that he doesn't look at porn because he no longer feels the need to. When I even offered to look at porn with him, he refused and said he would much rather just have sex with me.\n\nSo that's why I'm so darn confused about finding porn on his tablet that he claims isn't his.\n\n...Is he lying? I honestly don't know. He's never lied to me before. No one comes over to our apartment, so it's not like he had a horny friend over mess with his tablet. He doesn't take it anywhere so that someone could have put it on his tablet.\n\nI mean I found like 10 pictures downloaded to his gallery. How does that happen accidentally? Do ghosts download porn to tablets or something? (just kidding)\n\nAm I being naive to believe him or is this really just weird? Does porn sometimes show up on your computers/tablets randomly?\n\nPlease don't be mean, I feel really dumb even asking this.", "summary": "Found porn of bf's tablet. He says it's not his and he's never lied to me before (that I'm aware of). Am I being naive to believe him or is he a liar? So confused..."} {"id": "t3_1cv473", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is my gf(18) loosing her mind or is it me(20)?", "post": "My **gf(18)** started taking **birth control almost a month ago(3 month relationship; ongoing)**. A couple days after she started shes been less happy, more tired, and completely pissed, at **me(20)** thou. She claims everything I do is wrong and always my fault. If I bring the thought of maybe its the pills she rages on me. She tells me I'm lucky if she lets me even see her. I ask her what I do that is wrong but its always 'everything'. She hasn't went through a full day without getting at me for something random even if I wasn't there. She seems to **only attack me** with this anger and lately its so emotional it's making me want to leave but I do love her. Even a happy \"I love you text\" once in a while is **now considered 'CLINGY'**. She never started this way. I'm hoping it's the pills because I don't want to leave her. Any ideas?", "summary": "Dating for 3 months. Changed 25ish days ago after starting Birth Control. Blames me for all her issues & emotions. m20 f18"} {"id": "t3_zy2mm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21F] slept with a guy [25] I've been seeing. I now feel like shit and need advice.", "post": "Sorry in advance for typos, on my phone. \n\nI'm gonna start off by saying that I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year about 6 weeks ago, an just prior to that had been in a 3 year LTR with my first boyfriend. So, recently single.\n\nSo this guy, we'll call him R, works with me. About a month ago we started hanging out outside of work. I was a little interested in him at first, not taking it too seriously. Then the second time we hung out he kissed me. I was caught off guard, but found myself even more interested in him after that. We hung out a couple more times, made out, hand holding etc, so a couple weeks later I felt like I was developing feelings for him. \n\nThen last night we go out and get super drunk... I end up staying over and we had sex, which was good... But then I'm drunkenly talking to him and tell him \"I kinda like you.\" his response was \"i have a lot of fun with you\" but \"we haven't hung out that much.\"\n\nI feel frustrated that he uses us not hanging out much as a reason not to like me because he is the one who started the whole thing right away by kissing me. Now im just super nervous around him and a little depressed now because I feel like I was just friend zoned by a guy after having sex with him. Basically I feel really shitty about myself and really regretting last night.\n\nWhat do you guys think I should do? Is there any chance of him actually liking me or was this pretty much it?", "summary": "a coworker who i like and I slept together last night after a month of hanging out, now I feel like shit and want to know if I can salvage the situation"} {"id": "t3_3yt7mj", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[NY]Went for Free Annual Physical, Billed for Two Office Visits.", "post": "I went for an annual physical with a new doctor who is my PCP. She asked me if anything was bothering me and I told her I had a slight plain in my foot. The Doctor said to try stretching it and make another appointment if it keeps hurting. She wrote it down in my file and told me that was only to put down as much information as possible to justify the other blood tests she was running to the insurance company. \n\nWeeks later her office is charging me for two office visits for that one time because I mentioned having foot pain. Insurance paid for most of it but I have to pay the remainder. \n\nThe doctor never told me at the time of the visit that mentioning pain would change the nature of the visit. Does this count as fraud? What should I do?", "summary": "My doctor asked me if anything was bothering me at my physical and now her office is charging it as 2 visits. "} {"id": "t3_1r9xo3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 F] am miserable in all relationships [22 M] duration, short-description", "post": "Me (22 F), him (22 M), duration of 1.5 years\n\nI've been in 3 relationships, all of which were long-term. I've been to one doctor whom prescribed me Citalopram for depression, for context. \n\nNo matter how \"happy\" I tell myself I am in each relationship, I feel miserable and I want to drive them away. I know that I have ambivalent-avoidant personality traits due to past traumas but as I've developed I've only gotten worse with interpersonal relationships, including romantic. \n\nI don't believe I'm happy and thus I can't be happy in a relationship, and I understand that. But I'm also supposed to try and be optimistic right? So I try relationships and stick to them for the long-haul and now I've got a guy I'd say marriage is a possibility.\n\nBut I think my traits, past and \"commitment-phobeness\" is keeping me from enjoying any part of this process. I've opened up to him and how I'm feeling but some things he says is quite controversial and can send me into a spiral of confusion, hate, sadness, etc. \n\nThe point of this post is to ask if there are any alternative ways to feeling happier in relationships when you don't like associating with people inherently but are trying to, and have been trying to for a long time.", "summary": "No matter how much I've grown through past relationsihps to my current, I am miserable being committed and always find reasons to get out."} {"id": "t3_34p07j", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Mum's revenge on brother for complaining about his portion of chocolate milk", "post": "This happened years ago when my little brother and I were kids. We liked our chocolate milk, loved it in fact and if there was pre-made stuff in the fridge there would be an endless stream of \"can we have it now?\". My brother and I had our own drink bottles (different shapes) which the wonderful chocolatey goodness was distributed in. Because mine was taller, my brother would endlessly complain that I was getting more then him. After a long time my mum, getting fed up with it and said \"FINE, BRING THEM BOTH HERE AND WE'LL SEE WHO GETS MORE\". We're both standing there, eager to see the results as she pour each bottles contents into a separate container. She then poured my bottles content into my brother's an lo and behold, it filled only 3/4 the way up. My mum then says \"see, you're getting more than him every time\" to which he has the most smug look on his face you will ever see. She then fills up my bottle and leaves the other 1/4 amount separate from my brothers. He immediately starts getting mad and saying \"fill up the rest of it!\". She says no and that since he had been getting extra all this time, it was only fair that I got it. We both go off with our own bottles, him with his 3/4 full one, me with my full one and a glass extra.", "summary": "Little brother complains that I get more chocolate milk, mum measures it and turns out he'd been getting more all this time. I get mine plus his 'extra' portion while he gets an unfilled bottle."} {"id": "t3_48cjz9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [39/F] with my long distance BF [36/M] 3 months, can this relationship work?", "post": "I am a 39 divorced woman, and have tried online dating. Have some OK dates, plenty of bad messages, and of course some from men overseas, specifically India. I am American, but look Indian, maybe one reason i get these messages. And of course just foreign men wanting to correspond with American women. I have Indian friends IRL, so I am familiar with the culture. I don't usually reply to these messages but there was one that caught my attention so I did, and it's been great. \n\nThe man's name is \"Sunny\", he is a doctor in India. We started talking and he is just awesome. We talk about everything. We share the same values. His family doesnt believe in the caste system so that is not an issue. We starting off with messages on WhatsApp and now use IMO video chat, so I know what he looks like in real life. On IMO I have also seen his workplace, talked to his very nice colleagues who are pretty funny, his friends when they are out, talked to his sister, seen his apartment, his city, so I am pretty sure he is who he says he is. We have been talking/video chatting daily for 3 months. We have actually talked about marriage. \n\nThe plan is he comes on a tourist visa, we see if we hit it off IRL, and if we do, he returns to India and we apply for a fiance visa. We both understand this is a long and hard process. I cannot travel to India for personal reasons. I had him talk to my Indian friends and they think he is nice and apparently he comes from a good family name they know. The only thing that gives me pause is the whole online long distance dating thing. Can this really work? Has anyone been through this/ know someone who has? Did it work out? Advice please.", "summary": "Am I crazy for calling in love with a man on the other side of the world? Can this relationship work out?"} {"id": "t3_2p4uqo", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "\"Work\" Driving permit, <18 is it a thing?", "post": "As far as the DOT website says for my state in IOWA there is only a \"work\" permit if you have lost your license for some reason, and you are allowed to get a restricted one for driving to work, appointments, child care, school ect. But no where do I see a <18 work permit for driving. There is the work permit that allows you to work period before your sixteen but that is all I see. Anyone know? That being said for this idea the person did not get their \"permit\" until they are 17, so my state if not nationally requires one year of driving with it to drive alone.", "summary": "Is there a driving work permit for being younger than 18, or are you screwed with not getting a permit before your 17 and will have to wait until turning 18?"} {"id": "t3_1ibc9n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25F] am struggling to respect [31M] boyfriend, although I love him", "post": "We've been dating for well over a year and recently signed a lease together. He makes me happy, and we have fun together, but I have nagging doubts. I'm very ambitious, working on my Masters while working full time as a software engineer, and always thought I'd be with someone similar. Although he has a stable job, working with intellectually disabled adults (he's great at it and loves it), he doesn't have any savings to speak of, and I recently had to loan him $2400 (his share of first/last/security) when we signed the lease (honestly, I doubt I'll get paid back for a while...)\n\nHe's a nice guy, loves me, and means well, but his lack of motivation and personal responsibility (doesn't take great care of himself, gets delivery food a lot, plays WoW 4 nights a week...) makes it really difficult for me to respect him as a person, and I find myself getting increasingly angry at him about it as we get more \"committed.\"\n\nSometimes he'll \"improve\" for a while: I drag him to the gym, I make travel plans, I'll push us to go out and try new things, he says he's quitting the WoW guild soon... I just hate being the one doing all the pushing, and it's exhausting. He's extremely intelligent -- he does NYTimes crosswords in half an hour every day, knows tons of stuff, and beats me easily at every game we play... I feel like I just have to either get over myself, or get over him.\n\nI can't decide if I should marry him because I'm happy with him and he'd make a great father (we both want children in ~5 years, and have talked about it), or if I should leave him because I can't respect him and I won't have as fulfilling of a life with him as I might with someone else.", "summary": "The grass isn't always always greener and I'll be chasing \"the right guy\" until I'm 50, or don't settle for a guy you don't respect? Isn't that the $64,000 question? ;)"} {"id": "t3_p0xq0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My roommate got fired- how do I handle him, my parents?", "post": "Me 21M, roommate 21M and his SO (21F, also roommate). Rent is/was split between him and I, with his SO helping with groceries (part time job).\n\nOn one hand, it's a good thing. His job sucked (warehouse) and was bringing on depression, a drop in schoolwork and hurting his relationship. He's feeling much better in the three days since he was let go. That is the other positive, officially, he \"resigned\". \n\nOn the downside, even with me working full time, I have personal bills (car loan). There is no way we can make rent with the SO only working 20 odd hr a week at minimum wage. We have roughly 2 months using his extra financial aid to help with rent and utilities. So there is some breathing room.\n\nHe's a hard worker, already started job applications and I put in a word at my job. I'm trying to be supportive but firm that he keeps on applying. Haven't said anything to my parents yet.\n\nMy question- worst case scenario, what do I do? Both roommate and SO have cut off/been cut off from families, mine live too far away to commute to my current job. How do I prepare for worst case?\n\n", "summary": "roommate got fired, if shit goes south, how do I handle my parents and telling them I lost apartment?"} {"id": "t3_16csds", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Need some help [18M] [19F]", "post": "This (Co-worker) girl I have liked since day 1 of seeing her I have never been on a date/dance/ETC so I moved really slow because I am shy/nervous, last night while texting her she pretty much asked me what I think about her and I told her, she respond with \" You really think all that\"? :) \" so I think that's a good thing? then she said I was \" Nice,Positive,fun,kind,sweet,honest, and friendly... So now since that barrier is kinda broke over just little conversations I feel I should be more aggressive while texting her?? or what? I need help on what to do please! Do I send her stuff like \" Drive home from work safe tonight roads are crazy! \" Thanks", "summary": "Girl I like asked me what I thought about her, I told her so I need to know what to do next? should I text her more aggressively? Need help on how/what to text/talk to her now?"} {"id": "t3_38ux7r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my GF [18 F] 2 years, She needs to find herself but not break up?", "post": "Hey guys first time posting here. Im currently in a 2 year old relationship with whom i know is the one. She talks to me about the future she wants with me, how much she loves and cares for me, and how I'm the only one that made her this happy, the adventures she wants to do, etc. 3 Days ago she says she's confused about who she is, thought about breaking up to find herself. \n\nMy question is, how do i help her find herself and not push her to the point of break up. We're still together and she still wants to act as a couple but needs to find herself. What do i do? what should she do? Any help would be appreciated. She is my life and i can't loose someone that means the world to me.", "summary": "I love her to death and she does too. She thought about breaking up but said she didn't want to in order to find herself. How do i help her through this and not push her away?."} {"id": "t3_3m8zr8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29 M] am thinking of leaving my wife [28 f] but I am not sure if I can.", "post": "I love my wife ... I think. I honestly couldn't tell you anymore if I do or not. I know I love my family and my life and sometimes that's enough but sometimes it isn't . \n\nFirst I am not sure if I really want to leave her or not . When we are fighting It is sometimes all I can think about but I am angry and I try not to make decisions when I am angry. Then when everything is going alright I weigh the pros and cons of leaving and I always end up settling on staying but very rarely because I love my wife .\n\nI don't like the idea of not being a dad everyday. We have two children ages [10 f] and [5 m] and I love being with them everyday so I don't Know if I could handle being an every other weekend dad ( not that there is anything wrong with that). Joint custody would be great but I think would be very hard to get my Wife to agree to.\n\nAlso financially it is terrifying I already don't make a huge amount of money so adding child support onto that I would be able to afford an efficiency apartment and that's about it. \n\nI also have absolutely no support I am estranged from my family for reasons to long to get into here but even if i wasn't I am the most well off of any of them so they simply wouldn't be able to afford to help.\n\nlastly I am not even sure if leaving is really what I want. Yes, when things are bad they are VERY bad, not physical but definitely my own personal version of hell. However when things are good the are OK not great but after almost 12 years OK is all I ask. I don't want to leave just to find out that being alone or with someone else isn't what I want either. I am just kind of lost", "summary": "I think I want to leave my wife but for parental, financial, and fear I don't Know if I should/could leave"} {"id": "t3_39e7b0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] am only attracted to guys who share my music taste?", "post": "Reddit, this is becoming a problem.\n\nJust got out of my first relationship, after a series of random hookups. None of the guys before my current SO (we still kinda see each other casually) had anything in common except they were all musicians of some kind or shared my music taste. The problem is, I can only find myself being attracted to guys into my extremely obscure likings (shoegazing/psychedelic/lo-fi/space rock music are my favorites...)\n\nNow I'm just at a loss because I've realized this is something I can't help, since it's such a huge part of my life (I work at a radio station and would like to organize musical events in the future) but it's making my life a lot harder to deal with since \"no one compares\" to my taste (or my Ex/SO's). \n\nI really have no idea what to do about this because all experiences I've had with people who have not shared this part of my interest have been emotionally disappointing, and just devoid of any relevance whatsoever. Af the same time, I wish this wasn't such a big deal, but I know no way around it, since physical relationships with people I have nothing in common with just don't satisfy me either.\n\nHeeeeelp!", "summary": "obsessed with loud noisy rock music and need potential partners to share this passion in order to feel emotionally attached to them, but wish it wasn't this way."} {"id": "t3_1r0hna", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[27/m] need advice on ending relationship with childhood (27/m) friend", "post": "How the eff do you break up with a friend that won't take a hint? I became friends with this guy when we were 11 years old. From then through high school we were best friends and did a lot together and he was practically my brother. We went to different colleges and didn't see much of each other except on the holidays when we were both home with family. Since hitting my 20s and doing my best to become an adult, I've grown to be a completely different person. He hasn't. He's always been kind of arrogant, a bit it a liar, and looking back I'm realizing that he was constantly putting me down. He joined the marine reserves a few years ago and has now become more arrogant, openly racist, and carries himself with a false sense of authority. I've talked to him less and less over the past few years in hopes that would get the hint that I don't really enjoy our time together anymore. \n\nI've started ignoring his calls/texts and probably haven't spoken to him in 6 months. Now he wants to know what he did to make me end the friendship and I don't know how to respond. I don't hate the guy, I just don't like him. The last time we saw each other we went out for his birthday and I was completely embarrassed to be in public with him. He was rude to every waiter/bartender we encountered. He tried to impress people with fake stories of serving in Afghanistan (he's never been deployed), tried to start fights, and at the end of the night he drunkenly berated a taxi driver after they missed a turn, and launched into a tirade about being sick of fighting for stupid immigrants in his country. \n\nGiven the amount of history we have, I'm unsure how to respond. Part of me wants to tell him that I've made a point to surround myself with friends that help me be a better person and he's not one of them. But I'm also nervous about the backlash. He tends to fly off the handle pretty easily and I don't need the drama or potential fight that would result from me telling him he's a shitty person. Has anyone gone through a similar situation?", "summary": "best friend from childhood grew up to be a shitty person and I don't want to see him anymore. He's not getting the hint."} {"id": "t3_r4cj4", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Couch cushions have gone from things to sleep on to the favorite tug-of-war toy...", "post": "When my husband and I used to leave for the day for work, we used to confine our two dogs to the laundry room in which resided their water dish and their dog door (which lets them out into the dog run on the side of the house). \n\nAs they're both a bit older now (Colt is a little over 2 and River is almost 2), and are much better behaved in the house, we have started just letting them stay inside the house when we leave. For the first several months this was not a problem at all. Nothing eaten or gone to the bathroom upon.\n\nHowever, we took our first long trip a few weeks ago (gone for 5 days, had friends come over 2-3 times a day for food/playing), and when we came back, they had ripped apart one of the couch cushions from our older couch upstairs. We thought maybe we didn't leave all their toys out or something. No big deal, accidents happen. Figured they just got bored and played tug-of-war with a nice giant brown cushion.\n\nNow time #2 has happened - husband wasn't home yet and I dipped out for about 40 minutes to grab some groceries, and when I came home, yet another cushion was in sad little pieces. I know I left all their toys out, they had plenty of water, and have been played with earlier today, though not as much as usual since we seeded our lawn in the backyard two days ago so they can't go on it.\n\nAny ideas why they're suddenly ripping apart couch cushions when they're home alone? Thanks!", "summary": "Older couch upstairs has gone from a place to sleep, to the dogs ripping apart the cushions. Never used to be an issue. Only happens when they're home alone, and all their toys, water, etc are available"} {"id": "t3_43j7of", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Jumping so high just to sniff a face...", "post": "Hello all! My dog Reggie is a large (85 pound) mutt, mostly boxer/pit/etc. He loves human attention - his favorite thing is to sit on top of someone on the couch (whether he's just met them or known them for years). This is rarely a problem because I hang out with dog people, but meeting new people can sometimes be a pain. \n\nWhen someone starts walking up to us and Reggie notices, he starts to pull towards them. I allow this if I know them (perhaps my first problem? Except he is large and usually without harness because he doesn't pull on walks.) Then I await the coming storm - he has about ONE jump in him during the greeting. It is not to put his paws up on a person, the way I've seen other dogs, but really to try to sniff/lick their face. Unfortunately, this means there's a huge dog jumping up at people's faces like a missile. I'm writing this because today, a woman trying to give me a brochure came out of nowhere and handed paper to me, then he jumped up and, since I had him on a short leash, he kind of crashed on his bum in the snow. \n\nCurrent training: When we are at home and a friend is coming over, I DO try to train this behavior away by holding his collar, then giving my friend a treat and asking them to tell him to sit. He's extremely food motivated, so this works well. When the initial excitement is over, he does not jump as much for attention.\n\nFinal note: if someone makes prolonged, friendly eye contact, he sometimes get excited enough that he tries to jump for the face. I know this well enough that I'll break his attention before, but unfortunately my peers don't understand that staring isn't the way to keep a dog calm...", "summary": "my dog jumps ONCE to a person's face out of excitement and it's a problem because he's so large. How should I proceed with training this out?"} {"id": "t3_2vvhe9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16 M] won't be with my Girlfriend [16 F] of 5 months, for valentines day and I'm feeling depressed", "post": "So about 3 weeks ago I got caught trying to sneak over to my girlfriend's house when her parents weren't home. I'll admit, I wanted to have sex (we've done it twice before) and just have some alone time together with her for a while. We live about 45 minutes away from each other and neither of us have our licence so we usually depend on our friends, or our parents to take us from house to house\n\nAny way long story short we got caught. She got grounded for a month and I got grounded till \"I don't know when\". I'm missing a lot of things because of this and I don't know when It's going to stop. \n\nWe had a Mardi gras balle (Yes, I live in Louisiana) at school two weeks after and my girlfriend got court! She was allowed to attend and I was not. Come to find out she got voted queen but I still felt terrible because she had to go without a date because of my actions. \n\nNow it's valentines day and I made her an awesome present she won't get to see on valentines day because I am forbidden to see her at all. Not to mention I got my phone taken away so now I have no way to talk to her at all! I feel like I disappointed her and it's killing me inside.", "summary": "Can't see or talk to my girlfriend on valentines day and I feel depressed. I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_3k11or", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "I broke an expensive object at work and I'm scared I'll be fired. How do I approach this? (x-post from r/relationships)", "post": "I'm a contract worker in a company notorious for firing contract workers on a whim. Last week, I accidentally broke an expensive item (~$300) that is necessary for my job and that only I use. BUT no one has discovered it yet and no one knows I broke it. However, they will find out in the next few days. My boss is already not super fond of me and this may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. I feel like I have two options:\n\n1) Fess up and explain it was an accident. Pray that they don't fire me and hope they just order a new one. But they might see me as stupid and clumsy and just get rid of me anyway.\n\n2) Toss the item. Pretend it went missing and that I have no idea where it is. Plenty of other people have access to the item, maybe one of them accidentally threw it away or knicked it. But they might think I'm the one that accidentally threw it away (since I'm the only one who uses it) and fire me for my incompetence.\n\nI'm already looking for a new job because these people are terrible and I'm not worried about burning bridges. But I can't get fired just yet. I am going to be HOMELESS if I lose this job right now. I can barely afford food right now and if I am unemployed, I'm not going to be able to pay rent. I absolutely need this job and I am willing to lie if it is going to give me a better chance of keeping a roof over my head and not let me go hungry. Morals aside, I just want an opinion of which option is going to give me the best chance of not being fired.", "summary": "Broke expensive item. If I want to keep my job, should I fess up or get rid of the evidence?"} {"id": "t3_50oe4c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (25/F) just found out my friend's (25/F) ex-boyfriend (24/M) has a thing for me and that's why they broke up.", "post": "We all met in college. They've been dating since then and we're all part of the same tight knit group of friends. Recently they broke up, and my friend Julia has been very hush hush about what happened. I've been trying to reach out for weeks, see if she needs a shoulder to lean on, girls night out, etc. She has been dodging my texts, and until very recently, I had no idea why. \n\nOne of our mutual friends (closer to Cam, the ex bf) told me Julia broke up with Cam because he apparently has a thing for me? This is news to me. Cam has always been fairly quiet, levelheaded, etc. So for him to all of a sudden come out with news that he has feelings for his girlfriend's close friend, is a little ridiculous and unbelievable. \n\nApparently he said my name during sex ... and then Julia (rightfully) grilled him on it until he broke down and confessed. \n\nNever once has he made it seem like he's into me. In any case I'm worried Julia might think something happened between Cam and I. The thing is, I had a crush on him in college (before they got together) which she knew about. So maybe in her mind, she thinks I'm responsible for this? I don't know. \n\nHer friendship is important to me. I get that she needs space and might even resent me without meaning to, but ignoring me isn't going to fix anything either. It's been almost a month.", "summary": "My friend's ex has a thing for me, said my name during sex, and now my friend isn't speaking to me. It's been a month. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_4r3go5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 F] with my family [all ages and genders] are having issues with me getting married", "post": "I am getting married to a Christian man (I am a Muslim woman). Faith is a big deal to both of our families, but my family is making a bigger deal out of it than his. In our cultures, (we both are Pakistani), the bride and the groom's family each throw a wedding party in celebration of the union before the wedding. My family threw one and today, my groom's family is throwing one. My family refuses to come (all 25 of them as I have a large family) because of Ramadaan. However, they will attend birthdays and other celebrations without any issues. They say they \"support\" this marriage, but they have made this wedding process hell for me. They cause a fight over any little reason, often berate me for torturing them by marrying outside Islam, and gossip about me constantly amongst each other. We have a month left before the wedding, no other date worked this month since they have events planned for themselves every weekend, and they are refusing to attend this event. I feel so embarrassed not to have even a single member of my family supporting me at today's event. I want to tell them to not attend the wedding, but I don't know how to - am I being too dramatic?", "summary": "Family doesn't support my upcoming marriage as much as they say they do - should I disinvite them to the wedding?"} {"id": "t3_16t5m3", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Hit my plateau! HELP Male 20 6'6", "post": "Hey Loseit! Let me just start off by saying that you have all helped me a great deal in the past few months in ways I cannot describe AND I LOVE YOU ALL for that.\n\nOn to my problem, I had set a goal to lose roughly 50 pounds to get below that magic 300 pound mark. I have been dieting, getting my ass kicked at the gym everyday, and really just BEING healthier. Everything was going fantastically, i had dropped 20 pounds in about a month and a half by cutting down my portions, and completely swearing off sugar and snacking. I was feeling so good up until this week...\n\nEvery 3-4 days I weigh myself at my gym, stepped on last week at 242 (down from 267) i almost cried. I was so happy. I hadn't been sub-245 in about 4 years. So tonight after I had just finished killing it at the gym I go to the scale and still at 242! I haven't been eating any worse or working out any less. How can I get back on track to get to that magic 300? \n\nThank you so much for everything loseittors, I am so proud of all of you. YOU CAN DO IT!", "summary": "(Male 20, 6'7) Stuck at 242 despite working just as hard and sticking to my diet. How do I get over the \"plateau\"?"} {"id": "t3_18onne", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Looking for successful marriage/relationship/love stories", "post": "I am a 19 year old male who's still in college. I've recently realized the harmful effects of porn and my addiction to it and have gone about 34 days without masturbating or looking at porn (don't plan on ever doing it ever again). Because of this, I realized I've been missing real human connections. I've never had a girlfriend even though a couple girls in high school liked me but I was still clueless and never made any advances. \n\nSo while browsing /r/relationships, /r/relationship_advice, and /r/AskReddit I've noticed many problems with relationships but the one big thing is the amount of cheating. I know sex and emotions can be separated but at the same time I think sex is an act not only for pleasure but an act to show the intimacy of a relationship--something done with one other person that you made a commitment to. But looking at how long-term relationships can end either abruptly or slowing suffocating, it makes me wonder if I can open up and allow myself that vulnerability to another person.\n\nI know one person cannot meet every desire of another person and I also know there is no \"perfect\" one out there. We all have our flaws and we can love it or hate it. I also have friends in relationships and some say being in one isn't as great as it seems while another one has been dating for 3 years contemplated a few months ago about breaking up with her if he got into an out-of-state med school. Which made me realize our ability of apathy after love.\n\nSo what I'm asking for are some successful marriages/relationships that may or may not fit my ideas about an intimate relationship and how you and your partner(s) have made it work (hopefully permanently).", "summary": "Recently discovered need for human contact, read a lot of revenge/cheating stories on Reddit, distrustful of relationships, and wondering if there are any success stories out there"} {"id": "t3_1wga8e", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [18/M] delivered pizza tonight to this gorgeous girl [18/F], got a call from her phone a few hours later. Please help me.", "post": "Im not sure if this is the right place to post this, so i apologize in advance if it isnt. Alright well ill get to explaining, please dont laugh me out of this subreddit.\n\nSo I work at Pizza Hut as a delivery driver, and on my last delivery i looked at the name of the person of who I was delivering to and for some odd reason i had this gut feeling that she would be highly attractive. Even though it was some asian name i couldnt even pronounce.\n\nAnyways, i get to the house and ring the doorbell a couple times a dont get an answer. So i call the number on their reciept and the girl answers and says she will come open the door. She opens the door and sure enough she is very pretty, and was around my age. (18) She greets me very warmly and smiles the whole time and I give her Her food and leave.\n\nAbout 4 hours later I am working out and decided to check my phone, Ten minutes earlier I had a missed call, from the number of the girl i delievered to. Im assuming it was the girl, and not the very old woman I saw in her house (looked to be her grandma) especially since it said the call was from a mobile phone. Anyway I texted her back saying hello and that i didnt hear the phone when she called.\n\nI havent got any response back. But It was almost errie how this whole thing played out, beginning with me having this gut feeling before i delivered the pizza. I really hope that I hear back from her. But if i dont, what is the best thing for me to do? Should i call her? I feel like that would maybe come off as weird. Maybe she just called me on accident or something and Im just reading way too much into this.\nThank you for bearing with me, any advice is appreciated.", "summary": "A gorgeous girl I delivered pizza to tonight ended up calling me later, i replied but got no response, where do i go from here?"} {"id": "t3_j5gdb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can they really do this?", "post": "I was diagnosed as being allergic to bee stings, and have had Epipen's since I was a child. I have been very cautious though, so i wouldn't get stung by a bee, as my case was very severe(If I didn't receive medical attention, via a Epipen shot or adrenaline injection, within the hour of a sting I would go into an anaphylactic shock, constricting my airways, and subsequently resulting in my death). Since Epipens cost anywhere from 60-120 dollars a year, and i hadn't been stung since i was a child, they decided to test and see if i was still allergic to them. We visited the clinic, and submitted a blood test to be tested, and were billed **$400** dollars for the test. when we got the results back, they told us it was inconclusive, and i might still be allergic, and i might not be allergic. \nIt seemed like a scam almost, as they took our money, and provided us with no real information.", "summary": "Sent a blood test to see if i was still allergic to bees, and was charged 400 dollars for inconclusive results."} {"id": "t3_4mnft3", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Training dogs to come \"back inside!\" quickly. Am I using the right approach?", "post": "We have Scottish terriers and two little purse dogs, and they love to romp around in my backyard, but I don't let them out there without supervision because I'm afraid of them drowning in the pool.\n\nSo what I do is I find a nice shady area to camp out by the pool, let the dogs out, and listen to audiobooks and stuff while I watch them.\n\nThis approach worked really well, except it was incredibly hard to get them to come back in again. They *looove* to be outside, after all. So I trained them to respond to \"back inside!\", and as soon as they got in the door I gave them a treat. One of our more indoorsy dogs actually looks forward to the treat more than to going outside. Which is... good?\n\nAnyway, here's the problem: Two of these dogs will eventually come back inside, but only after repeated badgering. They know that eventually I'll walk over and pick them up, so they move at a snail's pace to discourage me from doing that. Taking plenty of time to sniff every little thing that crosses their path.\n\nMy approach has been to give them smaller and smaller chunks of treat depending on how long it took for them to come back inside.", "summary": "Dogs can't be in the backyard without supervision. Taught them \"back inside!\" in exchange for a treat. Two dogs walk very slow on purpose, so giving them much smaller treats depending on how long it takes."} {"id": "t3_3q1xy1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23/F] fell in love again with my friend [22/M] of two years", "post": "We've been friends for 2 years and I fell for him. We have very intimate relationship (i.e. we talk about very personal things a lot).\n\nLast year I told him I fell in love with him and don't wish to continue our friendship on that account. He was really devastated and confused and said my infatuation is probably cause by the fact I have a small social cirlce and he also said he's supposed to go on a date with some girl, so... Anyway, he asked me to stay friends with him and said, \"I don't want to ever cut contact with you\". So we stayed friends and for some time it was okay.\n\nBut recently things started to change for worse. He shares with me really intimate thoughts and we talk for long hours (I'm abord right now so it's mostly via messages). \n\nNeedless to say, I fell in love with him again. I don't know how to deal with that. He also sends me somehow mixed signals which make me hope he's into me romantically. It's all so hopeless", "summary": "fell in love with a friend, confessed, got rejected, fell in love with him again, don't know what to do"} {"id": "t3_3sf5w1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21F] Friend [21F] found out I slept with her Brother [20M]", "post": "Her and I are pretty much bestfriends, we've known eachother since we were like 6. A couple weeks ago her brother and I had sex, it only happened once and we don't have feelings for eachother or anything. I guess she overheard him saying something about it to a friend or something, and yesterday she confronted me about it. I denied it at first but she kept saying she knows I did and stuff and after I kind of admitted it she got really pissed at me. She didn't hit me or anything but I could tell she was furious and I was like afraid, and she said stuff like I'm never to be near her brother again, and asked have I always been like preying on him and waiting for him to be old enough and all this stuff, I'm worried this will ruin our friendship. I think she said that stuff in the hear of the moment but I'm nervous around her now. I don't get why she's so overprotective of him, he's only a yeae younger than her. I don't really get it though maybe since I'm an only child. Please help", "summary": "my friend is mad at me because I slept with her brother and I denied it when she confronted me, now she knows and she's pissed"} {"id": "t3_2kf0mo", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Is it too soon to bring up the heavy stuff?", "post": "I had a rough childhood and have a very strained and complicated family relationship. I've been dating my boyfriend for just over two years, and we have been living together for a year and a half. We have two dogs together, a cat, and a hermit crab. It's safe to say we are serious. \n\nHe knows the bare minimum about my past, about 9% of the truckload of messed up and shocking details. I don't talk about my family or my history and if I get upset I handle it alone, but as I get older and we get more serious, I'm starting to feel like there's this whole other side to me that I've never let him see. \n\nI don't want to just pour everything on him at once, I know that it would have to be a slow process. But even then, whenever I feel like talking about a specific incident or memory that is making feel a certain way, and go into the room where he is, it's impossible for me to come up with a segway or transition. \n\nI always feel really awkward, like I'm bringing up the subject out of no where, and i have a bit of a phobia of seeming like I'm looking for attention or sympathy.", "summary": "We are both 25, dating for 2 years, lived together for 1 and 1/2 years. - is it too early to tell him about the dark parts of my past?"} {"id": "t3_hsxum", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Is anyone NOT going keto to lose the weight?", "post": "I've seen all of these posts advocating and swearing by keto and low-carb diets and I was wondering if anyone on here is getting good results on any other diets?\n\nI've mostly been counting calories and trying to be mindful of what I'm putting in my mouth (e.g. an apple and chicken breast vs. mcdonalds). The reason I'm wary of an extreme low carb diet like keto is just that I can't see myself doing it long-term. I'm a huge pasta and bread lover and I don't want to cut that out of my life completely, and I'm afraid if I start keto, once I start reintroducing carbs into my diet I'll gain back all the weight.", "summary": "I love pasta and can't see keto working out for me long-term, is anyone else doing something other than keto to lose weight? Want to share?"} {"id": "t3_2oq3eq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [17F] and I [17M] are in our senior year of high school, and I have concerns about the future of our relationship.", "post": "We've been dating for 5 months so far, and I'm definitely serious about her and I. Right now, we're extremely happy with each other and I told her that I loved her last week. Everything is great right now. Unfortunately, we won't be together for Christmas break, but we'll FaceTime each other and call regularly. \n\n I've read posts about high school sweet hearts trying to take a relationship into college before, almost everything that I've read has resulted in a break up. I know that if her and I go down this road, I'll be devastated in the end. Second semester is going to fly by, and before we know it, we'll be going to prom. I know I should live in the moment here, and I've been trying to go along the lines of that, but I do want to start forming some kind of plan. \n\n I should also mention that we're not going to the same college. She might go out of state, I'm going to community college for financial reasons, and she's getting accepted into four year universities. It would be a LDR. I love this girl, and I'm willing to compromise to stay with her. \n\n Anyway, my question is: What should we do? Should I try to maintain a LDR with her? I'm hoping for suggestions or stories of your own I guess. I know I'm jumping way ahead of myself with thoughts like this but I just want an opinion different than my own.", "summary": "My girlfriend and I are going to different colleges, second semester of this senior year is going to fly by, and I want to start forming a plan. Should we go into college trying to maintain a LDR?"} {"id": "t3_2xd70u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29/F] with my cousin [37/F], how to deal with her?", "post": "Hi, y'all.\n\nMy cousin and I were close once but she started demanding way too much from me and gets upset whenever I don't do what she wants. After spending a lot of time here, I realize she's a narcissist and so is her mom. It's always about her and what she wants. Never any consideration for my feelings.\n\nAnyway, I was supposed to do day after Christmas shopping with her; picking her up and we drive around to different shops. She insisted on smoking in my brand new car that I just got in October. I told her I'd prefer not since I want to keep that as a nonsmoking car, whether if it's cigarettes or pot. Plus she has a tendency to drop the blunt, she burned a hole in my other car which is why I didn't want to smoke in the car at all. She wouldn't let it go even though I said she could smoke before we left, so that made me not want to go shopping with her. She texted me this Christmas Eve asking if we were still going and I said probably not since I wasn't feeling well, headache and the runs. Never heard back from her to this day. Last year wasn't fun because she rushed me telling me we had to leave because she's done at this store and kept telling me to stop buying so much because we wouldn't have enough room. Yea, while her cart was full and I was carrying a shopping basket. \n\nSo since then I did a slow fade and I've noticed every time we see each other in person, she always says **\"you never text me anymore\", \"I'm mad at you\", etc.** My first response is to say \"phone works both ways.\" But that sounds smart-assed. I end up shrugging my shoulders and say I'm busy with school, which is true.\n\nWe're having a birthday party tomorrow for my aunt, cousins mom and my cousin will be there and I KNOW she will say the same fucking thing again... So what is a good response without being a bitch about it?", "summary": "Did a slow fade with her since she's too dramatic and clingy but I never know what to say without being snarky. Help me give a good response to \"shut her down.\""} {"id": "t3_28ica1", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[53/f] My fianc\u00e9's kids hate me, and want him to break up with me. Need advice on how to resolve or avoid this conflict.", "post": "Hey, I've finally decided to create a reddit account just to ask the internet some advice on this issue. I'm a 53 year old woman. I've been with my boyfriend (age 58) for 2.5 years, and we've recently decided to get engaged. We've now been living together for around 1.5 years. He has 2 girls, ages 14 and 19, but they only come over to his house a couple times a month, as they actually live in a different (although nearby) city.\n\nAnd this is where my problem is: since we've gotten engaged (a couple months ago), they've both told him that they will no longer visit him if he doesn't break up with me. Their threats have since proven to be empty, though, as they still end up coming as usual. \n\nI've been very nice to them, but they have nothing but very rude to me and they have made it very obvious that they disdain me, although they do not know me (never have they asked me anything about myself, not a word from them when my mother died a few months ago, not one thank you/thank you card). I have put my best foot forward at all times, thinking they may have adjustment issues with their parents divorce (4 years ago).\nMy fianc\u00e9's response to this seems very avoidant on this issue, and it seems like at all times he passively acknowledges their complaints and does nothing to attempt to resolve or mitigate the drama. He told me that if they seem open, and if they want to, he may ask them about their feelings.\n\nI suggested that upon their next visit we need to all sit down to talk, ground rules, etc, but he said that in no way does he want to make them uncomfortable. What about me? I'm not al that comfortable with these two hating me.\n\nWhat should my course of action be? Should I just try to passively placate them as much as I can, should I leave the house when they visit? I don't know what to do, as it seems like a lose-lose situation.", "summary": "fianc\u00e9's daughters hate me, are openly hostile, and want him to break up with me. He has since done nothing to attempt to resolve or mitigate this drama."} {"id": "t3_23za1b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23M] and my gf [20f] have been struggling while being in college/in the working world... We're supposed to talk in a few hours, and I would love some help. (Dating for 2.5 years)", "post": "Here's the jist of it:\n\nMe: 23 year old male, in a professional work environment. I'm pretty ambitious and want to pursue my career goals. I've delayed moving out of town for my SO.\n\nHer: 20 year old female, opposite in that she is extremely idealistic and wants to save the world. She wants to work for a non-profit, and actually has a negative view on money. She doesn't like any non-essential purchases.", "summary": "We're in two different worlds, and I'm getting tired of waiting for them to come together. How long is too long? Are we too far apart?"} {"id": "t3_4al5rq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I stop [25f] dating someone who is pretty awesome [26f] in the least painful way?", "post": "So I'm dating this lovely woman. Stupidly I didn't set up any boundaries regarding my intentions only being casual dating prior to meeting. We have now been on 5 dates give or take and each one has gone well. I have Spoken to her regarding my continued use of dating apps but haven't firmly communicated boundaries, which is stupid I realise. \n\nIt's now getting to the point where I feel the exclusivity question is fast approaching and she appears to be planning our future together but I'm not feeling it!\n\nShe has proven herself to be an amazing lady, and is beginning to confide things in me (eg. About previous heart breaks and about how this is really unusual for her to date). I really don't want to mislead her or cause her any hurt. I'm just finding it really hard to find the right wording that lets her know that she really is the nicest girl I've ever met but I just can't plan a future with her. \nUnfortunately the reasons why I don't wish to continue are fickle, shallow and in fact a bit silly so I feel like I can't tell her them without hurting her. I know I need to talk to her\n\nHow would you word this?", "summary": "person I'm dating is lovely but not for me. I have to do the right thing and communicate it but can't find the words when she is so nice. "} {"id": "t3_1i6x49", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Dear Reddit, I Need Help Ascending From The General Labor Work Force!", "post": "Dear Reddit,\n\n5 years ago I was laid off from the best job I've ever had. I was a labor organizer for a very large and well known union. I had worked my way up to that position with nothing but a GED. After that, I dealt with some severe health complications which lead to severe financial problems. This combination of events also lead to severe obesity and depression on my part.\n\nAt this point in my life, I'd like to get back on the horse but it seems almost impossible. I have no income, no vehicle, and a small & tattered wardrobe. General labor jobs are hard to get (I believe) because I seem over qualified and because my weight probably makes people think I can't do a lot of physical work (which I actually can).\n\nThe only thing that prevents me from having a job in the organizing field again is the lack of nice clothes and a vehicle. So, I was thinking maybe I can use my experience to gain a job in retail management. I know I could do this work with little training, but I don't have any of the requirements (college degree and work experience).\n\nPlease Reddit, help me find a way to get a job. I am borderline homeless at this point. I need anything!", "summary": "No college, GED, no car, no nice clothes, no money... Experience working as a labor organizer. Need help finding work."} {"id": "t3_1gvarc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22F] girlfriend is showing symptoms of hypochondria and it's driving me [25M] bonkers", "post": "We've been in a relationship for almost 5 years now and marriage is definitely in our future, but every few months we have a slight problem. She gets really paranoid about the slightest health quirk. She'll have a headache when she wakes up and within a few hours it progresses into her being convinced she has cancer. And of course she stresses out and that only prolongs the headache and that becomes 'proof' that she has a tumor or something in hear head. Vicious cycle.\n\nShe has a history of displaying OCD-like tendencies when she was in her teens (doctor-confirmed, not the stupid 'I cleaned my room lulzocd') and has anxiety issues in general. She was on anxiety meds for a while and by her own admission it helped her not take the headaches or bug bites or whatever as seriously and to the next level like she was before. But financial issues and her owing the doctor's office money has kept her form being able to return and get a new prescription. \n\nIt just happens every month or two and for a week she's an anxious, stressed out mess convinced that she's dying. And she never does, but she never seems to remember that and she never acknowledges it when I remind her. I love her death and will put up with this til the end of our days, but any way I can make this easier on us both would be much appreciated. I think part of the problem is that I don't know how to deal with it, so i'm not dealing with it very well at all. I want to be supportive, but not too supportive. I want to be stern and remind her it's in her head, but I don't want her to feel like no one has her back. What do I do?", "summary": "girlfriend is a bit of a hypochondriac and I'm struggling to deal with it because I don't really know how to deal with it."} {"id": "t3_fudt6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, when was the last time you just said fuck it?", "post": "I mean this in a positive light :) I know it's Monday and all, but for some reason I've been in a terribly cheery mood!\n\nI got out of class to find that I was done for the day, so I decided to go to the Taco Bell/coffee place on campus to chill out for a bit. When I got there I decided to check my mail.. Lo and behold my solos had come in the mail! (the J.J. Johnson Collection from Hal Leonard) So I sat down looking through it. Not five minutes after sitting down, I saw literally the most gorgeous girl I have *ever* seen on the East Coast. I figured since today was a great day, I mumbled \"bitch, I'm a bus\" (got some odd looks from the people around me) and got up to walk towards her. \n\nI have a feeling she kind of knew what was going to happen because she was waiting in line at the mail center, but I went in for it anyways. I introduced myself, and asked her if she was free for coffee or any other hot beverage. She didn't immediately say no, which was good, and she got a text from someone in the middle of our \"conversation\" and said she had to leave. She asked for my number and told me that if she feels like coffee, she'll call me first thing. Yeah sure, maybe not the most successful story, but it just added to the better day :)", "summary": "I was having a great day and said fuck it, asked a girl out. When was the last time you just said \"fuck it,\" and how did it go?"} {"id": "t3_1lgr2z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [23M] give my ex [24F] a second chance 6 years later?", "post": "So we started going out when I was 15-16, and lasted about 2 years. During that time we fought *a lot*, constantly broke-up made-up and she cheated on me several times with her ex. When I learned that she cheated I ended the relationship.\n\n2 years after that (in college) we were both in relationships with different people. Both relationships were very stable, no cheating, no lying, no fighting. \n\nNow we are both single and still attracted to each other, we\u00b4ve talked about going out again, but I'm not sure if it is the correct thing to do. I know that we were both in very bad places 6 years ago, definitely not emotionally mature enough for a relationship. I was a terrible boyfriend, very shy, not a gentleman and I rejected all her sexual advances because I was too nervous. I also wanted to kill myself. \n\nNow I'm a completely different person and from what I've seen she's also changed a lot. I'm sure that a relationship with her now will be very different from what it was before but I'm not sure if I should forgive her for cheating?? \n\nThanks!!", "summary": "Ex-gf cheated on me 6 years ago, wants a second chance now that we are much more mature, should I go for it?"} {"id": "t3_4yrus1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Don't know where to post this. My [35m] good friends, who are married, are sending out some signals.", "post": "I have been friends with the husband [34m] for a while. A few years ago he met his now wife [34f] and we have always got along pretty well.\n\nRecently when the wife has been drunk at parties she starts to hit on me and tell people that im her other boyfriend. She will cuddle with me and get a little handsy. The first time this happened her husband saw I was a little uncomfortable and told me it was fine and to just go with it. \n\nThe most recent time she made out with me and I over heard her telling other people that she wanted a MMF threesome. \n\nOutside of these parties we never talk about these occurances and I just never bring it up. Im not sure how to handle it though. I wouldnt be adverse to engaging in something more physical but I also dont want to hurt the friendship by overstepping any boundaries.", "summary": "Best friends wife hits on me when drunk and he is ok with it. She may want to get more physical and I dont know what to do."} {"id": "t3_2gq2jj", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "\"Why do you try to run my life?\" Because you won't get up and do anything with it.", "post": "Boyfriend is carless, can't even drive. His family refuses to help him get to any job more than 5 minutes away. & he just graduated high school in June, to go on to do....absolutely nothing. I'm not saying he should rush into college, I'm not saying he should be a constant workhorse. BUT if he wants a car to get a better job, have a car, get out of that toxic household? HE. NEEDS. A. DAMN. JOB. I want better for him, as I love him with all my heart. But I can't stand lazy people who say they want better, but are so picky about the better they want/ don't really do anything about it. There are tons of businesses within walking/bussing distance he hasn't applied to yet, because they are hard, or a \"stupid job\". Work is work, not easy. ESPECIALLY WITH A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA. When I ask, one simple online application per day is too much for him, a waste of time.\n\nWith my hatred of laziness, I feel like I'm rewarding his stupidity by seeing him/being nice/not asking every day what he's done to get a job. He has a weekend job, but for five days of the week? As little productivity as possible. I've planned for a while that if he's still a lazy bum by November, I may ask for a break to spook him. Because I don't know how else to make it clear that I do not want to be with someone so complacent in bad conditions. I don't want to leave him, but I don't want to live in a constant fight zone over \"Why do you try to run my life?\" \"Because you don't get up and do anything with it.\"\n\nSorry for block of text.", "summary": "I want better for my boyfriend. He wants to stay in terrible life conditions. Leaving, at least for good, is not an option for me."} {"id": "t3_246nkv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "23/M looking for advice on coping with the loss of my sister 33/F.", "post": "We lost her yesterday. She had numerous health problems, the primary one being progressive epilepsy. She was in the hospital a month or so ago and we thought we might lose her, but she made a near full recovery and was basically back to normal until I got a call from my grandmother yesterday morning saying she had passed in the night.\n\nI've never really dealt with an unexpected loss like this. I've only lost grandparents when I was a child. I think I'm still in shock and it hasn't fully sunk in. I got the news when I was out with my girlfriend visiting the planetarium. I haven't cried or anything and I can tell she (my gf) thinks it's weird that I haven't shown much emotion regarding the issue. \n\nI mainly can't stop thinking about the three children she left behind. Their father is abusive and now they're left with no mother. I know I need to step up and be a bigger part of their lives. \n\nI personally hate sob stories and I'm not looking for sympathy. That's actually an aspect that I'd like advice on. I'm the type of person to bottle things and not mention them to anyone because I hate feeling like people feel sorry for me. I absolutely hate it. I haven't told anyone other than my girlfriend who was there when I got the news. I went to work as usual because I'm in a new city by myself and my girlfriend went back home an hour away this morning so I'd just be sitting at home by myself. I'm going to let my boss know here in a bit, but I just absolutely hate talking about this sort of thing. I'm really hoping they don't all sign a card for me or something like that.. I don't want everyone asking about it.\n\nMy family is more dysfunctional than average, always fighting and being dramatic over stupid things, and I know when I go back home for the funeral it's going to be complete chaos with family members who haven't spoken due to drama seeing each other for the first time in years. I'm dreading it.\n\nHas anyone dealt with a similar situation? How long does it take for this kind of thing to fully sink in? How did you cope?", "summary": "Sister is dead, her kids now only have their abusive father. I haven't felt very emotional; just looking for advice from people who have experienced similar."} {"id": "t3_4xhrtc", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I (22F) can't seem to get my life together.", "post": "How do I find myself? I know that seems like an impossible question to answer but I need a starting point. For years, I have convinced the world that I am this happy person, but I don't know if that person I've built as a defense mechanism to keep from feeling like a burden to people I care about is me. Or who I'm supposed to be. I am currently in a point where I have an amazing boyfriend who I want to spend my life with but I don't want to drag him down. I want to be a person who can help to build him up not weigh him down with my issues. I can't seem to get myself to change and get my life on track. I'm half ass trying to get into school. I work at a job I hate but can't seem to leave. I don't take care of my responsibilities at home. I try and do well but eventually I fall back into my old habits.\n\nDoes anyone know a way to help break my habit of laziness? Some sort of system or something to help me see my worth and push myself to do what I need to?", "summary": "I can't find the motivation to be the person I want or to figure out who that person is. Just need help pulling my life together."} {"id": "t3_4djwyn", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by drinking and driving", "post": "Hi reddit. I was driving on my way to campus this morning, left hand on the wheel, right hand feeding my mouth with potato chips. As soon as I finished eating my chips I was thirsty. So I did what any human would do - try to drink water while driving*. This was a sealed water bottle so I could not open it with one hand, I use my thighs as a grasping mechanism while I open the bottle cap. Unbeknownst to me this bottled water was super full and super flimsy. As soon as I opened the cap, yeap you guessed it.. water spilled all over my crotch. I tried to cover it with my coat in class but I'm not sure if that worked..\n\n*I was on the highway/freeway (whichever one it is..) and there were obviously no stop signs or stop lights where I could wait and drink my water.", "summary": "Tried to drink water while driving, spilled all over my crotch, weird looks during class because my crotch was wet."} {"id": "t3_2gqjs3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21/F] with my girlfriend [22/F]. 1 year together. Haven't been getting along lately but I want to fight for this relationship -- help?", "post": "So my girlfriend \"Kyla\" and I have been together for about a year now. Our relationship has been great from the start, we always got along super well and had the best of times together. I often tell her she is me in a different body -- we complete each others' sentences and are very affectionate and in love. The sex is great, she's my best friend, everything's awesome. Or it had been, for the past 11 months or so.\n\nAround a month ago I felt that we kind of reached a rough patch. We were fighting over silly things (well, not really fighting, more like having talks about it), one little thing she said would make me mad and vice versa. We always apologized and made up before going to sleep, but we still argued quite a bit.\n\nI'm not sure what to do. Lately I've found myself wondering if I'd be happier if I was single. I love Kyla and she's my life, but there are days when I look at her and think that I'm not really that attracted to her anymore. And then that thought leaves just as fast as it came. So we have our great days, days where I'm head over heels for her, and then we have our off days, when I start to question why we're still together and if we should break up.\n\nI'm not sure if this is because the honeymoon phase is finally over or what, but I don't want to give up on our relationship. I love this girl. I could see myself long-term with her, buying a house and getting a dog and everything. What can I do to make our relationship go back to what it was? Is there any hope? If I work at it, can I make these little fights stop or is it hopeless?\n\nAny advice would be really appreciated. I'm kind of at a loss right now, she's the first person I've ever fallen in love with and I want to work through this rough patch really badly. Thank you.", "summary": "Hitting a rough patch with girlfriend of a year. Little fights breaking out, me not being that into her anymore. Don't want to give up on relationship. How to make it better?"} {"id": "t3_11r4ts", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is there any place on the internet I can find workbook answers for my psych textbook?", "post": "I am an art major taking 21 credits in my final semester. I had previously scheduled a human sexuality course, but another class of mine was rescheduled and I was forced into a learning and behavior course. It is way more expensive and a ton of work. This doesn't agree with me because I have to spend a lot of time in the studio. I aced my first text, but the homework is graded like a take-home test. I got a bad grade on the homework because I didn't have the time to do it thoroughly. I really need help. I know the material, but don't have the time to sort through the hundreds of pages of text that each unit covers. \n\nThe book is The Principles of Learning and Behavior, sixth edition by Michael Domjan. I need the answers to the work book. Any help or direction is appreciated.", "summary": "Acing tests, suffering on homework. I don't have the time. Need workbook answers for book The Principles of Learning and Behavior, sixth edition"} {"id": "t3_2r5z36", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27M] had a rough New Year. [32F] SO of 4 months is not talking to me.", "post": "So I have dated this girl for 4 months. She has been really great so far, we fight minimally and get a long great. So unfortunately she had to work for NYE, and my friends wanted me to go out with them to a fancy dinner, then to a house party, then to the casino, and then they had a hotel room at the casino we could crash at so no one would drink and drive.\n\nThe SO really wanted to come but she couldn't get off work. I told her I would send her pic updates through out the night. I sent a selfie on the way to the restaurant and then I proceeded to get way too drunk. I only sent the one picture and the rest of the night was a blur, i missed several calls and finally answered her texts at 2 in the morning. Not my finest moment and I admit that I wasn't the worlds best boyfriend. But I have been faithful the entire relationship.\n\nNow she is not talking to me, she got drunk and high last night, which is out of character, then said the texts were sent from someone else on her phone, and I'm really at a loss of words. Maybe she thinks I was cheating? Maybe she was looking for an out in the relationship and took this opportunity? Her past boyfriends have all been pretty scummy and I have a job and am independent. I really don't know.\n\nI suppose I'm just looking for another set of eyes, to help me understand that aren't related to me, as all my family has loved her and I don't want them thinking differently of her. Feel free to ask questions.", "summary": "Got way too drunk and forgot to keep in touch with my SO over NYE, she's not talking to me. Have no idea where the sudden ending of the relationship came from and would like some help in understanding."} {"id": "t3_q2crn", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "HELP! Toddler [3yo] not sleeping through the night.", "post": "This has been going on for about the past two weeks. I've tried everything and I'm coming up extremely short. \n\nMy wife and I both work full time and we need to sleep at night. I'm in the military and regularly work anywhere between 10-15 hours a day and I end up getting about 5 hours of sleep a night, so when I sleep I sleep like a rock. My wife ends up waking to assist him, and she isn't used to the lack of sleep so she ends up more sleep deprived.\n\nOk, well here's the issue. My 3yo son has been waking up around the same time for at least a year, 9am. He normally naps at about 1pm for 2 hours and then we put him to bed at 9-10pm after everything is said and done. \n\nLately he's been treating his bedtime as a nap, wakes up several hours in and continues to stay up all night. He'll then proceed to leave his room and trash the entire house. He knows how to open the child proof cabinets, doors etc. He'll go into the kitchen, fashion steps out of randomly placed object in the kitchen [chairs, boxes, garbage can, etc] and get into the higher cabinets. \n\nLast night, for example, he thought it would be a great idea to break several eggs on the floor and mix them with flower. \n\nAnyway, what can I do to set my child's sleep schedule straight.", "summary": "My son is waking up while wife and I sleep, trashing the house, and ending up with about 6 hours of sleep a night."} {"id": "t3_2k4ojr", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by eating sushi", "post": "Alright so I love spicy foods so whenever I eat sushi I make sure it's spicy. \nI make like a sushi sauce kinda thing when I eat it, it's ghost peppers, wasabi, olive oil and soy sauce mixed (it's really good and spicy) so I'm making my sauce, cutting up the ghost peppers without gloves (idiot), then I started adding it in wth the wasabi, olive oil and soy sauce. I start mixing it and then cleaning up some of the mess I had made.\nSo here is where the fuck up begins. I usually use my fingers to spread the sauce onto the top of my sushi, so I'm spreading it on the tops of all my sushi and i have this massive fucking urge to scratch my eye. So immediately without thinking, I start going to town at scratching my eye, the lovely feeling of relieving a scratch, then it burns. This shit burns like a fucking whore with a yeast infection. My eyeliner began to drip down the one side of my face and the one eye is swelling and red. I look like a raccoon that just took 50 tokes. so now I'm sitting here with a paper towel soaked with milk on my eye, after rinsing it out for at least 1 hour.", "summary": "made hot sauce for sushi, spread it in the tops of each sushi and itched my eye. left with raccoon eye, and burning yeast infection sensation."} {"id": "t3_2i8wp3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by lieing in a TIFU post", "post": "I had the urge to write about a little story I had cooked up in my head, and decided to write it in a first person perspective. I thought, \"This would be perfect for TIFU\" You see, TIFU does not have a rule about if posts need to be true or not, and after seeing many of the top posts I had already been convinced that many were not true stories.\n\nI post the story with much success. Upvotes are going off left and right, I'm literally getting high refreshing the page and seeing the numbers climb. Eventually I got to [10] when a comment said, \"Pics or it didn't happen\". Since I wasn't trying to be scrupulous, I freely admitted that it was only a made up story.\n\nThe votes began dropping. First in the comments, but then the post its self. It wasn't long before it was zero'd out and buried. This normally isn't a problem, but the commenters were angry and I honestly felt bad. \n\nIn a panic to make things right, and since it was a story, I heard that pizza hut was bringing back the reading program. Naturally then I thought the least I could do is get everyone one star closer to a free personal pan pizza. \n\nI check my karma one last time. Another post I had was doing quite well. I got to [10] again, perhaps higher, before leaving.\n\nWhen I pulled up at the pizza hut I was not paying attention and very lightly tapped a woman in a wheelchair who is the space diagnol to me to. She obviously made a very big fuss after I helped her up. When the police arrived they asked why my eyes were so red and why I was driving so fast to get to pizza hut. I told him about the TIFU post, how I got to [10], and how it all fell apart, and that my eyes may be red from weeping when I learned how upset the commenters were. \n\nNow I'm sitting here in booking typing on my phone. I'm sure they will let me go home though since I did not do anything wrong. I'm starving too, never got that pizza hut.", "summary": "Got accused of DUI because my eyes were red from crying and I lightly tapped a wheelchair by mistake, because of a post in TIFU in which I lied."} {"id": "t3_yzhq6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "so in love, but I know I have to end it..please tell me how stupid I am since I don't know how to do it :/", "post": "Try to make this as short as possible. I'm [27f] he is [29m]. been together over 3 years. Have fun together, travel the world together, keep our own apartments and no plans of marriage. Seemingly a great deal. I love him for reasons I try to write down and only found shallow reasons and because he is a good travel companion. Lame. He has a short temper and screams at me, calls me his \"cancer\", laughs at me when I cry, goes away for weeks for work and makes no attempt to even check on me. Whenever I tell him I don't think he cares about me he just gets frustrated and tells me if I keep saying that then he won't care at all. Recently found messages to a friend he has who is a girl about wanting to meet up in another state. When we were out of the country on vacation he tells her he is with his other family. All of these things should be enough to end it even as I write. I just can't get the strength to let it go after so many good memories of being together. Stupid shit like cuddling, wrestling, making dinner together, seeing beautiful places in the world together. I believe in monogamy and am feeling like the only one in the world these days who does. Losing my faith in marriage, and in my ability to detect when things are fishy. Sorry guys, this turned into a rant to the internet because I am too private to tell our friends about it. I don't care if you guys are harsh, obviously I am used to the intense talk. I used to be so fun, I am a successful young woman with strong morals. Just gotta get my shit together and figure out how to end this. Wish I could just disconnect my heart from my head...how can I break up with him without telling him I went through his phone, I don't want to have him explode on me and end this three year relationship in a way that would make me regret everything??", "summary": "in an emotionally abusive relationship, found texts from him to another girl going on for years. Too scared to break up with him after being together for 3 years. Do I even give him a chance after being so unhappy so long?"} {"id": "t3_38e6io", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I feel like my 17 year old cousin was the victim of a child predator and I don't know what to do (if anything)", "post": "My cousin, who is 17 now, met his girlfriend and started dating a little over a year ago. Last week while out to dinner with their parents, his girlfriend's mom said to her daughter \"Isn't it funny how our little plan worked?\" My aunt is like \"...uh what plan?\". Well apparently this girl's mother saw a picture of my cousin on facebook playing sports and on the homecoming court. Since her daughter was going to be a new student at the same school as my cousin, she told her to find him on the first day of school and \"make him your boyfriend\". At that point, my cousin had never had a girlfriend or gotten much attention from girls then all of a sudden he had this cute blond cheerleader following him around. So obviously, he was hyped.\n\nWhen I was told this story, I wanted to find this woman and wring her neck. Especially now that my cousin is completely wrapped around his girlfriend's finger, not going to the college he got a FULL RIDE SCHOLARSHIP to so he can stay home with her and talking about moving into her parent's house with her. \n\nI guess I just needed to rant, I doubt there's anything to be done. I just feel like I'm watching a bad movie.", "summary": "17 yo cousin's girlfriend was told to \"find him and make him your boyfriend\" by her mother on the first day of school. A year later, he's throwing his life away for her and I want to kill her mother."} {"id": "t3_10n2fh", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "I need some advice about renegotiating my contract...", "post": "Reddit, I need some advice. I have been working for almost a year with a company who was supposed to \"hire me on\" 9 months ago. Everytime I ask about my chances of getting hired on, I get told \"We are going to push the contract back (through a contracting service they signed me up with, I didn't have a say) another 90 days. Well it's coming up to my 1 year anniversary of working here and I want to renegotiate things. I want to contract outright with the company. No middleman. Just me. I want to ask for more money that will cover whatever taxes I'll need to pay and give myself a raise. I have been working on having my own company for a few years working freelance graphic work and some side IT jobs here and there. I think contracting outright would be a great experience for me and would look great as far as credibility for my company. And if I am to expect another year of contract work, I don't someone making money off of me that never did anything to earn my business anyway. *vent* So, do any of you have any suggestions as to how to approach this? What are some confidence boosters that you guys use?\n\nI think I've built up enough of a good reputation with the company and put in enough time and effort to show them how hard I work for them. I work for the IT dept and we have over 400 users with an IT Staff of 2. Me and my boss. Needless to say, we have our work cut out for us. We have a few remote sites that spread from Canada to Texas. \n\nAny advice would be great, sorry if I wasn't clear enough in my question. I am writing this as I run back and forth to offices. It it kind of a question I started typing out at noon and am finishing up now. Thanks for any help. Do any of you have any similar situations? \nThanks r/jobs!", "summary": "I want to renegotiate my contract with my job so that instead of going through a staffing service, I can be an independent contractor through my own company name. How should I approach it?"} {"id": "t3_1jcl43", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Ex-roommate stole <$100 worth of stuff from my apartment, and I have proof.", "post": "So I was renting out a room at my apartment to a friend of a friend, let call him John for about the past year. No lease or anything... But on a month-to-month basis. Early last month he told me he was moving out because he got a job out of state, so I told another friend, lets call her Jane, who was looking for an apartment that she could have the room starting the next month.\n\nWell, John eventually (about 3 weeks later) decided he wasn't taking the out of state job after all and so wasn't moving out anymore. I told him that I'm really sorry, but I already promised the room to Jane, so he would have to find somewhere else to live at the end of the month. I gave him two options, since at the time he had only paid me a third of the months rent: you can either pay me the rest of the months rent a d stay until the end of the month, or you can keep what you owe me and use it to find another place and move out in the middle of the month.\n\nWell he ended up staying until the 25th without paying anymore rent, but I let him because I felt bad.\n\nAnyways... This guy apparently had a huge vendetta against me now, and I've come to find random things stolen from my apartment, including damage he did to the apartment before he left. At least a few of these missing items he's admitted to taking to try to piss me off, so I'm fairly certain everything else was stolen by him too.\n\nSo this is my question, is there anything I could do to in this case here? Would cops do anything to help get my stuff back? Or should I just cut it as a loss?", "summary": "disgruntled ex-roomie stole from me and damaged my apartment to try to \"get back\" at me for making him move out."} {"id": "t3_2uohji", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Oh, you want to borrow my chair? No big deal...", "post": "So I work for a certain sports broadcast company, in a job that has me working out of makeshift workspaces for sporting events.\n\nMany people occupying and share the same spaces, as real estate is always at a premium.\n\nDue to the nature of my job, I usually have my networking equipment on a table in one of the corners to protect it from the elements outside. I usually set up camp right next to the equipment to babysit it, lest the network go down, and the show we're producing goes dead.\n\nWell today, I was called away to fix a couple issues away from my core. And as is pretty normal, when I returned, some of the production guys were having a meeting, one of whom had snagged my chair. \n\nNo big deal right? Not enough places for everyone to sit, so he just took a free chair. Perfectly acceptable. \n\nHe knew this was the chair I have been using the past few days, he knew this was my spot (generally everyone in my role babysits their equipment lest someone starts unplugging things), and he knew that I was patiently standing at the table I normally sat at, patiently waiting for the meeting to end and for me to reclaim my chair. \n\nSo the meeting ends, everyone starts filing out back to the broadcast truck/stadium/set ect..this guy takes my chair...places it about 5 feet away from me...and proceeds to place his briefcase on said chair...then walk away. \n\nThe trailers we rent are usually divided into three sections, with two mini rooms on either end with locking doors...and as one of the rooms is dedicated to my network core, I have the one of the two keys to the room. The other is held on my the an operations assistant.\n\nSo, I snag a fresh chair from the main room (sorry guys, looks like this joker thinks his briefcase deserves a chair more than you do), slap it down where I work. Take his bag, place it on he floor. Lock the door, and decide to work in a more discreet location for a few hours.", "summary": "Some ass borrows my chair, and after he's done with it, instead of returning it, decides to sit his bag on it..right in front of me. So I lock it behind a door in my \"office\"."} {"id": "t3_2r22p3", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/f] My boyfriend of over 2 years [23/m] who has cheated before still insists on keeping our relationship off of social media? Should I be concerned?", "post": "I have caught my boyfriend of two years cheating or displaying shady behavior on more than one occasion, although he swears each time that it is a misunderstanding. He has a specific hangout that he spends a lot of his free time at. And over the past two years, he never takes me there. I know all of his close friends and family, but for some reason it bothers me that he never goes to this one hangout whenever I am with him, but he is there often when I am not with him. There are girls at this hang out, and they all know who I am, but probably do not know that I am still dating my boyfriend. We also do not have each other on Facebook or on instagram. He says he does not want to \"broadcast\" what is nobody else's business. I know that he truly is a private person, in many different aspects of his life. But it is not okay for me that he has the girl he cheated on me with on Facebook and instagram, and that she probably has no idea that we are still together because on social media we both look completely single. Whenever I have ever brought up the issue about us not being \"official\" on social media he becomes extremely defensive. I just feel that in order for me to regain trust in our relationship I need everyone to know that we are together.\n\nIs this shady behavior or should I respect his desire for privacy?", "summary": "Boyfriend who has cheated before doesn't have me on social media or bring me around certain people. He insists on being private and is generally a very private person. should I be concerned??"} {"id": "t3_2es0gj", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU: By smoking DMT while my family was downstairs", "post": "This happened a while back in june, but the story begins with me picking up some DMT. I purchased around 500mg for $30 and was extremely happy. \nI rushed home, my family was home and dinner was being prepared. I ran to my room and busted out the homemade glasslightbulb vaporizer I made previously just for this occasion. I loaded the spice, held the lighter underneath and managed to get a really good dmt rip going, I inhale it and take the whole thing. As I'm lighting the second rip, I hear my beloved grandma talking to my family, and shes coming upstairs right for my room. \nI am already tripping out and I panic. I dash for the pile of dmt sitting out in the open. The fuckup I am, I fumbled with the book it was sitting on and it all fell, I could see the DMT slowmotion fall into my carpet.\nTurns out my grandma just came to say hi and I could've easily hid it without panicking cause she took a while to reach my room.\nI managed to get around estimated 50mg back from that. I later cried.", "summary": "Purchased DMT, attempted to break through with family downstairs and poured over 400mg of dmt into my carpet."} {"id": "t3_xca79", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I just witnesses a passenger (woman) from a moving car (45mph) throw a handful of change at a cyclist; I called th cops and gave them the license and car info, but...", "post": "The cops said that since I wasn't the one assaulted, there isn't anything they can do?!\nI know where these people live bc of where they were turning and I want some kind of revenge for the poor guy almost lost his life last night (if this cyclist would have fallen, there is no doubt that I would have run him over). This was around midnight last night and I promised myself I would sleep on it before I made and rash decisions (I wanted to throw dog-shit at their car or key it with a little note about assaulting people from a car like cowards)...\nAm I being childish for wanting to do something really vile to these ducks, or should I just let it go and hope jarma will take care of the rest?", "summary": "Witnessed coward in car assault innocent cylclist and wondering if I should seek revenge since I can't seek justice! "} {"id": "t3_1y9bbp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(35f) husband(32m) was recently diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. My ex husband (35m) is acting strange.", "post": "On January 20, my husband of 6 years was diagnosed with brain cancer. We have a son together, and I have two daughters that live with me from my previous marriage. My ex husband sees them maybe twice per year. He lives on the east coast, me on the west (relevant).\n\nAttempting to make this brief. I'm just very confused and want to know if I'm reading to much into this.\n\nYesterday, after finding out about my husband's diagnosis, he texts me and says he is making a trip to see our daughters and while he is here, he would like to take me, and my husband out to dinner. Ummmm..wat.\n\nWhile the gesture appears innocent and friendly, this is outside of his nature. He had ALWAYS been a total jerk to my husband. To the point of thoughts of filling restraining orders against him. \n\nMy questions are two. One, why would he offer this and why the sudden change of heart? And two, how can I politely decline. He's being insistent, even after I've said no several times.\n\nThere is a lot of back story absent here, so if I can answer questions to clarify, I'm happy to. I'm just a flood of emotions that I cannot separate right now.", "summary": "husband has brain cancer. after hearing the news, ex husband is all of a sudden acting like he gives a shit about my life."} {"id": "t3_41qw9c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20M] parents [53M & 51F] are not letting me choose where I go to college", "post": "I currently go to a community college and I am very happy here. I have the opportunity to go to nursing school here and get my ASN and even my BSN by taking a few summer and online courses. I do have to option to switch schools and just get my bachelors there. Regardless I do need my bachelors. At the community college it could range from a semester shorter or a semester longer than going to another school and just getting my bachelors. My mom keeps acting like I will be done with school much faster if I go to a different one. I really do not want to leave the school I am at. My parents want me to have a big college experience, but I am an nursing major. I need to focus on my classes and going through the hassle of moving schools and learning a new town would be a something I do not want to deal with. It would also involve me being an hour away from my girlfriend (1 year together) [F 18] and would create more stress. I am not worried about my relationship being an issue if I switched school's and we have discussed this often together and are willing to pull through it. What I am upset about is that I do not have an option of where I go. My parents frequently talk about what they are going to do when I am gone and out of the house. I understand it sucks having me around constantly, but I would feel much better of staying in a place I am happy at. I have tried telling them that I want to stay here but they keep saying that I just want to go to my current school because my girlfriend is there. They cannot get past this in their heads. They do not just understand that I want to stay here because I like it and I do not see the point in changing. How can I get them to understand and get the whole girlfriend thing out of their heads?", "summary": "!- My [20] parents [53M & 51F] are not letting me choose the school I want because they think my girlfriend [F18] is the reason, but I just really like the school I am at."} {"id": "t3_1ki5xw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24m) want to break up with my girlfriend (23f)", "post": "We first met in school about 5 years ago, and we really hit it off, but I was in a relationship, and got married to a different girl. We got together after a nasty divorce. I was incredibly happy, and now we have moved away from home to begin our new lives, and we are having a miserable time. She is VERY OCD and isn't letting me help with anything and has been pushing me away. she doesn't have any family where we moved and it hurts just to push her out the door. I just can't keep this up. we keep trying and this emotional rollercoaster is like going through the divorce again. I've been drinking a ton more and doing more dip than I have ever done. I need an out. Help please!", "summary": "girlfriend and i moved from home has been there for me, can't deal with it anymore. need to move on. please help"} {"id": "t3_4jtojr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [36F] Husband's [43M] daughters [16F] & [19F] are coming between us. He believes everything they say and never hears me out. Becoming fed up.", "post": "I recently became married (about mid January) to an amazing man, who just so happens to be a single dad. We've been dating for around 6 years, so I've known his kids from when they were younger. We never really spent much time together (the kids and I), every time I came over they would both go up in their rooms or just flat out ignore me. We had plans to move in about a year ago, before marriage, but I had delayed it so I could take care of my sick mother for awhile longer. \n\nSo I officially moved in on the night of our wedding, and it seems like from then all hell has broken loose in our relationship. His youngest (16) is very highly sensitive and emotional, and she always LOVES to remind me that I'm \"not her mother\" (which I'm aware of), and always gives me attitude for even the most simple request. His oldest (19) is the exact same way, although not as emotional or hesitant about it. She has straight up called me a bitch and many other names to my face before, that I have ignored for the sake of keeping the peace.\n\nThe problem is, last night husband and I got into a big argument. Younger sister told her dad that I am \"mean\" to her, and I'm trying to hard to get close to her (confused on what she means by that) My husband is very attached to his kids, and that's something that I admired about him, but I really wish he would hear me out too instead of always instantly jumping to their defense. Things like this have been happening almost all the time since January, and even though it's only been 4 months since I've been here, I feel myself already starting to become tired. Like I'm walking on eggshells constantly. He completely shuts down whenever I try to have a conversation about them to him. I don't want our relationship to end over something so simple, but I don't have any other way of reaching him.\n\nTheir mother is deceased just for reference.", "summary": "Recently have gotten married and moved into husband's house. His kids are causing problems between us and he seems to have no intention on helping me fix it. Starting to regret my decision."} {"id": "t3_4hk5ep", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "This guy I've been casually dating [18M] doesn't want to have a relationship with me [18F] because he's going to college in the fall", "post": "Here's a bit of context for y'all: We both met freshmen year in our school's theatre program. At the end of freshman year, I transferred to an early college program, however we were still friends. It was obvious we both had feelings for one another, but we eventually fell out of communication.\n\nFlash forward to 2016, and after making several \"why am I single I'm cute\" tweets (real mature I know), this guy DMs me on Twitter confessing he had a crush on me sophomore year and asking if I wanted to catch up with him sometime. Of course, I said yes, and on our fourth date this past weekend, we ended up kissing and confessing feelings for one another blah blah blah sappy shit. After this I was almost certain things were going to get more serious, however the very next day he wants to meet me and tell me that he doesn't want to get involved romantically with me because he's going to university in the fall, which is 40 mins-1 hr away, and I have to stay one more year in high school (graduation requirement, long story).\n\nAs you can imagine, I'm crushed. We have several months before he has to move, I don't see why we can't cherish these few months then decide what to do when the time comes. I really, really want to be with this guy, and part of me wants to convince him to at least try it out for a while, but part of me also knows it's futile. Can any of you help me decide what to do? I guess I can't empathize with his worrying about how college will change him because I've technically been in college since I was 15 and I haven't experienced that whole \"college life\" thing everyone talks about.\n\nsorry if this is incoherent, I have a learning disability and it's hard for me to express my thoughts properly.", "summary": "we've had feelings for each other since freshmen year and after rekindling our relationship he doesn't want to make a commitment because he's leaving for college in the fall. help."} {"id": "t3_u8g25", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "High-beams on. Why does every semi truck driver flash their headlights at me at night?", "post": "On a divided highway, I keep my high beams on all the time. Why does EVERY truck driver flash their high beams at me at night? HEAR ME OUT, I'm not as retarded as you are thinking right now:\n\nI live in the prairies, Canada. Our highways are long, straight, and double divided. There is usually a large grassy median dividing both directions, usually about 25 meters between. And at nighttime on such a divided hwy, I personally have never had an approaching vehicle's headlights be so bright as to blind my view of the road, or impede safety. NEVER. And usually I'll pass other oncoming cars who keep their brights on and all is peachy. \n\nBut semi truck drivers take issue. About 80% of every lori that passes in the opposite direction flashes, multiple times. Sometimes they get so annoyed they start flick every switch on their dashboard. Now, I understand courtesy. But I know for a fact that my bright headlights are not blinding them. It's not possible. So is this a habit thing? Is this an unwritten rule of the road? Because if it is, that's not good enough for me. I'm sorry, truck driver, but you're gonna have to live with my brights staying on. \n\nFrom our province's driver training, on SGI.sk.ca :\n\"Many drivers make the mistake of dimming their headlights too soon to ensure that they do not blind the driver of an oncoming vehicle. While the intent behind this is good, these drivers are putting themselves at risk by unnecessarily reducing their visibility.... If you are on a divided highway where the distance between the roadways is 22 m (70 ft) or more, you do not need to dim your headlights.\"\n\nThere. Suck it, semi driver. The law is on my side. For safety. \n\nIf you are a semi driver that I've just offended, and you've experienced oncoming vehicles on divided hwys leaving their high-beams on, can you honestly say it has blinded you? Do you know/experience something we lowly car people do not?", "summary": "When keeping high beams on poses no safety risk to oncoming traffic on a divided highway, I ask semi truck drivers why they still get so ticked off."} {"id": "t3_1qshs1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19M] mum [58F] won't stop drinking, what can I do?", "post": "My mum is currently stuck in an unhappy marriage with my father, and had been thinking about divorce since I was about 4 years old (so for 15 years). The situation has been drawn out so long, and it's a bit complicated, so unless you need to know the details I won't go too much into the whole marriage thing.\n\nBut my mum, as some form of crutch, drinks heavily almost every night. Both my parents are fond of their drink anyway, so it took me a long time to notice - until my more observant sister brought it to my attention. Now I can't stop thinking about it; pretty much every evening she drinks almost a whole bottle of red wine (my dad will maybe have 2 glasses) and will become almost unintelligible through her slurring, and I'll hear her stumbling up the stairs to her bedroom when I'm in bed. I always want to try and bond with her; watch a film or a tv show with her, but it's like I have a time limit before she becomes so intoxicated that it's pointless and I just find it infuriating.\n\nI've tried talking to her about it, but she only seems apologetic about it *when* she's drunk (she will cry and says she knows she should stop and that she's sorry) but when she is sober, she just seems to find my concern amusing. I've tried hiding bottles, pouring small amounts down the drain (we aren't the most well off so I feel reluctant to do that). I've tried talking to my dad but he just brushes it off as not being his problem.\n\nShe even drank my whole bottle malibu I got for a birthday present without asking. I just don't know what to do any more. My mum makes *me* feel guilty for getting on at her because she already feels shit having to stay with my dad (for now).", "summary": "Mum is stuck in an unhappy marriage and drinks almost a whole bottle of wine every night as a crutch. And will brush me off when I express my concern."} {"id": "t3_3b6d76", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (19F) lied about my brothers to my sort-of boyfriend (23M) to impress him, now I'm feeling bad about it, should I tell him?", "post": "Okay so this isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be probably. But on the first date, he asked me about my siblings. I told him their names and ages, which were correct. But then I felt pressured to impress him, so I lied and told him they were both married and have families and careers in other palces. Except really, they both live with my mom and I because they both have disabilities and whatnot that prevent them from living on their own so my mom takes care of them. I feel really bad about it, and the two are supposed to meet for the first time over breakfast tomorrow. I don't want him to find out I lied to him if my mom says something, but I'm really scared he'll think less of me or want to break it off. I really like him and can see this going potentially long term.. Should I wait on them meeting so I can tell him myself? I'm seeing him tomorrow and staying at his place for the night. I don't know if this is a big deal or not, so any advice would be much appreciated.", "summary": "I lied to a potential boyfriend about my brothers' lives to impress him and now he's supposed to meet my mom. Feeling nervous and bad about this, should I tell him?"} {"id": "t3_1l0ztt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to build trust and confidence when its constantly being challenged?", "post": "My boyfriend and I are off to college 8 hours apart. His school is notorious for partying and easy girls (typical college.. this is just one of the top ranked schools for it). My college is quite the opposite. I want to trust him but its hard knowing that he will be with all these other girls and exposed to a lot. As a result I'm losing a lot of confidence in myself and getting super paranoid. He is not worrying as much about me at all. I want to have trust and confidence so I don't have to feel like im holding him back. Its just making me feel so uncomfortable.", "summary": "Long distance.. need to build trust for boyfriend exposed to college life at top party school. He used to have a huge problem with lying in general."} {"id": "t3_2b3cnr", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I took a girl on a \"date\" think I fucked up bad.", "post": "So we had been texting a lot! and we finally went on a date.... We were walking or whatever as I was walking her back to her car I said I'm going to fight you. \n\nI said if I won she had to kiss me.. Long story short we play fought and I \"won\". \n\nAnyway she said go for it.... the kiss was pretty bad my worst ever but she didn't seem to mind. Anyway we texted over the next couple of days and I sent her this today. \n\nGoing to the park with you was awesome! And how it ended it was the best anyone could hope for. I don't really know what we are or where we are going to be. But I do know I like spending time with and want to continue. \n\nSix hours still no reply...", "summary": "How bad did I fuck up? How can I fix it? I sent a girl a text that some people thought was to soon and she hasn't answered"} {"id": "t3_3xkwk0", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Recitified cervical and pinched nerves.", "post": "Hello guys, I'ma 30 yo male, in the past month I started to feel very dizzy and with nausea all day.\n\nI had a couple of syncope episodes when I was a kid, and after years of study, the doctors came to the conclusion that those episodes were gone for sure.\n\nUntil a couple of days ago, when I was in the bathroom, and suddenly I started to feel all the pre syncope symptoms. The only thing I remember, is waking up on the floor with a broken nose and blood coming from my head.\n\nAfter a lot of studies, the doctors are telling me that my heart is healthy but I have some pinched nerves on my cervical, including the vagus nerve. And that is causing all these nausea, pre syncope feelings, and heart rate problems.\n\nSo my question is, can I trust this? Are this episodes going to go away after the kinesiology threatment? I've heard ffrom a lot of people with muscular pain derived from a rectified cervical, but never heard of people constantly fainting and feeling like sh** all day thanks to this.\n\nThanks in advance.", "summary": "pinched nerves on my cervical, including the vagus nerves are giving me syncopes and dizziness / nausea. Is this possible?"} {"id": "t3_2e3jr6", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Just failed a drug test", "post": "I got a job at a company. I am officially employed for this company (company A) and I passed their drug test. I just finished my 2 days of training and they sent me to their client's office (company B) for a x-month contract to do IT work. The situation is basically like a contractor-client relationship and I work for the contractor. Today was my first day and my company B manager came up to me and asked if I had taken the drug test. I said \"Yes, I passed the drug test at company A\". He then said I needed to take a test for them, too, right on the spot. We began walking downstairs and I waited until we were alone and I said \"You know, sir, I should tell you now that I'm not going to pass this test.\" We then went to the head of HR and he told her the situation and she said \"He can't work on the property if he can't pass a drug test.\"\n\nI thought I was done with all the drug tests so I smoked some cannabis last night to celebrate and took a low dosage of Adderall (no subscription) this morning to keep me alert for my first day. Marijuana and amphetamines would have shown up on the 10-panel drug test so I bailed out on it early. Sitting at home now waiting on a call from manager at company A (which, remember, I passed the drug test for). I never actually failed any drug tests, only opted out of company B's, who I have absolutely no connections with besides them being a client of company A. Does anybody know company policy regarding this kind of situation?\n\nI have a friend who told me that their (very prestigious) accounting firm will also be sent to clients' offices to do work and they often get drug tested there as well. If they fail their client's drug test, there is no penalty for the employee; they simply send another accountant in their place, no questions asked.", "summary": "passed drug test for my employer, opted out of a drug test at a client's location and was sent home. What kind of punishment could I receive from my employer for simply opting out of a drug test?"} {"id": "t3_3sqqzw", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to take a pic of a monitor", "post": "My friends and I planned to watch a movie today. I thought to myself that I should get something to eat so I walk into the Panera bread that's next to the movie theater. I decided that I should eat Panera because food from the movies is very expensive. I go into the store and I order my food. I notice that there's this cool tv monitor that went along the lines of \"Order for (your name here) is being prepared\" I saw my name and I thought \"oh that's cool I'll send it to my friend because why not\" and I'm standing there trying to get a picture of the monitor. I turned off my phone because it did not focus right so I didn't bother and I put it away. I look up and I see this guy I have a crush on working there. I immediately look away and wait for my food. I don't know if he saw me or not but its very likely he did. As soon as I got my food, I left.", "summary": "Went to Panera bread. Thought I should take a pic of a tv monitor that had my name on it. I look up and see my crush was behind the monitor and it looked like I was trying to get pictures of him."} {"id": "t3_2mp5wg", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Is there a way of politley asking my (17M) girlfriend (18M) to be little more reciprocative?", "post": "We've been dating just over a year (sexually active about 10 months) and we are each others firsts. We have sex about once a month (due to family etc ) and fool around once or twice a week whenever we see each other. This has been a bit of an ongoing problem. \n\nI pretty much always initiate sex/fooling around (the last time she initiated was last week and the time before was late august), and when she does it'll be placing my hand on her breast or asking for me to play with them. Foreplay is exclusively focused on her and her hands rarely go below my waist without me asking. If she gets off during foreplay it's rare that she will then reciprocate. Generally it only happens when I carry on with her side of things.\n\n I regularly go down on her. She has gone down on me 4 times. Once very briefly, once as a \"birthday treat\" (August) the other two times whilst drunk. I have asked and she says it's not something she's always comfortable with (it really didn't seem that way when she did it). She doesn't talk dirty but is very insistent on me doing so. When I have said I'd like her to reciprocate and initiate a but more she apologises and says she knows she does it and always feels like she should be better and says shes gonna try harder but doesn't seem to do anything about it. I'm getting a little tired of blue balls and having to lead sex every time. Is there a way I can approach this gently but enough to know its really starting to bother me.", "summary": "my girlfriend is regularly quite selfish in bed and although she admits its a problem she doesn't seem to be trying. How can I approach this situation?"} {"id": "t3_2anklq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my Close friend [21 F] mad at me, i dont get it", "post": "Okay first of all English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the errors in the text.\n\nWe have this group at the Gym, 4 people incl. me. Friday it was my friends birthday (close friend). She was going to have dinner with the other 2 and then meet up with me for going out. She called me at 8pm to meet up 9pm at the park. \n\nI was at the park 8:50pm, at 9:30pm she called hey im sorry we are running late, so i asked how much time do you need, she said will be 15 more. at 10:15 i went home because i was tired of waiting while they are having a nice dinner. At 10:40 she called again, asking where i was i said im home, laying bed. She said just come now we are at the meeting point. I said no because i was pissed of by this. But it is my Birthday you should come! I still said no. Then the other one came on the line dude just come its not her fault. And i was like no, i have waited for almost 90 mins im home now and about to sleep.\n\nNext day she ignored me all day, and i was like lets celebrate your birthday another day because i was just pissed at this point but still had the intention to celebrate her birthday. But nothing from her...\n\nSo yesterday i said, i dont want to be the annoying friend but please talk back? which she then replies with, Funny how you call yourself a friend after what you have done... \n\nSo clearly she is pissed but i think i made the right decision...Did i do it right or is she overreacting?", "summary": "Shes pissed at me that i left the meeting point after 90 mins because they didnt showed up. Did i do the right thing?"} {"id": "t3_3uow8h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] with my boyfriend [25M] 8ish months, he made an inappropriate (?) comment", "post": "I struggle with depression, severe social anxiety, and being self-conscious thanks to a horrible relationship where I was cheated on. I know it's not fair to bring that into my current relationship but there's only so much I can mentally block out. (Also I am seeing a counselor for this, but it's the weekend and she doesn't answer emails blah blah.) Relationship with boyfriend is LDR. Been talking since March, long distance since June.\n\nWent to a bar with my (21F) boyfriend (25M). A guy (20's?M) he knows bartends there frequently and he knows him only from bar talks (but he went a lot more when he lived here). Anyway this girl (20's?F) is sitting at the bar with a tablet and my boyfriend says \"do you think that's [bartender's] girlfriend?\" I shrugged so he kind of whispered to him and he nodded. Then my boyfriend said \"dude, nice\". Wtf. So then he explained how [bartender] said that at thanksgiving [bartender's] grandma said \"you found a hottie\". I was livid! Why did he say this to me! He later apologized and said he shouldn't have said that but then said things like \"what do you think the point of models are? To have attractive people to look at. But they could have a dull personality or not mesh with yours\". Which to me sounded like he was defending himself.\n\nAny advice on how to think about this would be nice.\n\nAlso I put a question mark because idk if 'inappropriate' is a good word for this", "summary": "boyfriend asked friend if this girl was his gf, bartender nodded, bf said \"dude, nice\" in front of me as well as other things later at home."} {"id": "t3_wijox", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, how detailed are your daydreams/mental visualizations?", "post": "First of all, I'm not talking about \"creative visualization\" but I suppose it could be related. Specifically I am referring to the process of visualizing an object, face or scene in your mind's eye or daydreaming.\n\nWhen I visualize something it's very vague and impressionistic. For example I close my eyes and visualize my bedroom and just see blackness. However I can still somehow see the room enough to describe it... but I don't see it in front of me like in an afterimage optical illusion (I guess I see it in my mind's eye?). I have had moments \u2014 usually before falling asleep \u2014 where vivid, detailed and realistic mental imagery comes into my mind's eye. But this is not something I can control or do so in waking hours. I have also had lucid dreams (where one realizes one is dreaming while dreaming) so I know my mind is capable of it. \n\nA few years back I asked this question to friends, some said they had extremely vivid mental imagery and some said they suck at visualizing and see nothing. My problem here is that the answers were subjective \u2014 what I think of as vivid might not be the same as their definition. I explained it as follows: is the imagery photographic? When you close your eyes is what you see like looking at a photo? \n\nSo is there a way to cultivate this ability if by nature you do not possess it? I can't really find much information on this topic on the internet. It seems odd to me that it hasn't been explored more fully or perhaps I wasn't searching with the right terms.", "summary": "\u2013 When you close your eyes and daydream, is it as vivid as watching TV? And does anyone know how I can make my mental imagery more vivid?"} {"id": "t3_2ojmin", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Has she [25/F] started to play games and test me [23/M]?", "post": "I've posted a few times in this sub reddit and I have always appreciated the advice you guys give me so here I am asking yet another question. \n\nI [23/M] have been seeing a [25/F] for a few months now. We are not exclusive but we get along really well, the sex is amazing and we spend as much time as possible together. \n\nWe started getting close a few months ago and it was all playful. We would playfully insult each other and tease each other and that lead to lots of sexual tension. \n\nShe would often text me first and say really nice things and want me to say nice things and it was great. We would text all the time. \n\nLast Sunday was pretty amazing, we spent the day together and it was just a great experience for both of us. Then Tuesday comes around and it seems like she can't stand me anymore. She is barely replying to my texts, and when she does it always really short stuff like \"ok.....\" and \"my day was good thanks\". She will take ages to reply to my texts when it used to be instant. We went from about 100 texts a day to about 10 a day in a week. \n\nShe did warn me about a week and a half ago that she would probably try to distance herself because that's what she does when she starts to get close to people. Im not sure if that's what she is doing or if she is just bored of me. \n\nMaybe I am just insecure or needy, but I just don't understand how you can go from \"I get wet thinking about you inside of me\" on Monday to barely speaking to me on Tuesday.", "summary": "A girl I am sort of seeing went from texting and talking to me all day to barely any at all. Is she just playing games?"} {"id": "t3_11ger4", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I get upset when my boyfriend talks to girls he's hooked up with in the past, and I'm not sure what to do.", "post": "Little background story, kind of just throwing this all out there. 20f, 21m, dated in high school, broke up, he went away to college. At college he hooked up with a few different girls, which is cool, we were broken up and we both thought it was for good. Turns out it wasn't, started talking again, went to visit him multiple times, realize we want to be together again, he flunked out of college and moved back home. That was about two years ago and I still find myself hating him for hooking up with a bunch of girls. I know I should be able to trust him and get over it but what gets me is that he said he thought the idea of meaningless sex was the most disgusting thing. He also refused to tell me their names when I asked, and lied about it to me multiple times, I had to find out through a friend and confront him about it multiple times to even get him to admit to the actual number. Now, I love this man to death and I don't see myself breaking up with him, we've been through a lot yada yada yada.. Basically, he still contacts girls he's slept with and girls he's flirted with in the past sometimes, little conversations, nothing too intellectual or deep, but it kills me inside. Do I have a right to be upset? I know I can't prevent him from talking to whoever he wants to talk to, especially people he considers to be \"friends,\"and I'm 90 percent sure he wouldn't cheat on me, but it still hurts my feelings that he feels the need to talk to these people. I've talked to him about it before, should I bring it up again? Should I just ignore it and get over it? Should I declare him a hopeless case and split ways? This isn't the only problem in our relationship but I suppose I try to see things as a work in progress.. I'm just a little lost right now.", "summary": "Boyfriend talks to girls he's slept with, makes me upset, spoken about things like this to him before, what should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1m5cj1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Fianc\u00e9's [21M] mum constantly asks me [25F] for money. Not sure if I should let him know. Together 17 months.", "post": "When my fianc\u00e9 and I were just boyfriend and girlfriend, he told me how his mother kept asking him for money on one particular occasion. I felt really bad about it so I spoke to her and offered her some money because she said she would be homeless without the money. I did this behind my then-boyfriend's back, which I know was wrong but I really didn't feel good knowing his mum could end up homeless. This happened a couple of times. Then-boyfriend found out about it and got really mad at me and her but everything's fine now.\n\nSince then she keeps reaching out to me for more money. It's gotten to the point where I feel like she only talks to me when she wants money. I find it really hard to deal with this because when she says she needs the money for food, that really makes me very sympathetic. \n\nI do not want to go behind my fianc\u00e9's back and give her money but I'm worried if I tell him she's been asking that he will get mad at her, and she will get mad at me for telling him. I also am a bit strapped for cash at the moment given that we are saving up for rent, bills, and food because when I move to be with him I won't be able to get a job for a while so I'm just saving every penny I can. It pains me to say no, and I also do not want this to continue for the rest of our lives.\n\nShould I just tell my fianc\u00e9 and risk him being mad at his mother and then have his mother being mad at me too? I really hate confrontation and I'm not sure what the right thing to do in this situation is.", "summary": "Fianc\u00e9's mother keeps asking me for money. Not sure whether to tell him or not. Risk him being mad at her, and her being mad at me for telling him."} {"id": "t3_2t7rn0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my friend [20 F] have a very complicated relationship", "post": "So to make a long story short, my friend Jane and I have developed serious feelings for each other. But she has a boyfriend of 3 years, John. At the end of fall semester, me and her got a little physical. Check my post history for more details if you're interested \n\nShe told john about us, and after a long talk he wanted her to choose between me and him. She told him that she chose him, but in reality she wasn't ready to make a choice. Fast forward 5/6 weeks and she's still undecided but as far as John knows they're working on rebuilding their trust with each other.\n\nGo ahead and call me an asshole if you want, but I don't regret any of this. Jane and I really care about each other, and she told me that it would never have gotten this far if she didn't see me and her being as good together as her and John. She's even gone as far as telling me that she's never felt as compatible with someone as she does with me.\n\nAfter all this, it's almost time to go back to school for the spring. From my point of view, I'm single and she's not so while I care about her I'm gonna talk to and pursue whoever I want. But I still feel absolutely terrible for John. He has no idea any of this is even happening.", "summary": "Friend is very in the middle about who she wants to be with, me or her boyfriend of 3 years. He has no idea she's even making this decision. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_tss2w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Bf (20) is radio silent, I've been gone a week. My first relationship, is my worry justified?", "post": "Throwaway because he's a Redditor.\n\nMy bf and I (I'm F, both 20) finished our sophomore year of college, and I've gone home across the country for the summer. We've been friends 2 yrs, dating 3 months.\n\nI've always moved every 2 years, so have learned people don't keep in contact when someone leaves. Never dated before because it seemed pointless with a time limit. He swore he'd prove me wrong and that we'd make it work over the summer.\n\nIt's been a week and we've texted twice, both initiated by me. Usually we text a few times every (other) day, with him initiating as often as me. He even stopped responding when I text - not like him at all. I requested to add him on Skype like he said I should, and he's not accepted.\n\nHis family is stressing him out, saying he might not return to his uni in the fall. I said I'd give him space and I'm here for him because I don't want to be clingy, but I'm really worried that he's gone so noncom. Usually we tell each other anything that's bothering us. Because of my history, when we said goodbye before I left, I had this feeling like it was for good (again, he said he'd prove me wrong).\n\nIs this feeling of fear I somehow can't shake justified? I realized that if something happened to him I'd have no way of knowing, as we go to different schools and have few mutual friends. Is it normal for someone to go off the radar due to stress, or due to separation? Should I prepare myself for a \"Dear Jane\" call/text/etc.? Or is this normal for a temporarily LDR? I have no clue what I'm doing.", "summary": "My first relationship, both 20, he's pulled away after I left for the summer. His family is stressing him out and it's not like him to not talk for so long. I'm really worried, should I be?"} {"id": "t3_1w4sb6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(F/17)Telling my crush (M/17) I liked him didn't go the way I thought.", "post": "Previously posted in another subreddit before being directed here:\n\nThere's this guy at my school we are both Juniors in high school, he's new to our school and from Brazil. It's 6 months into the school year and I have liked him since I first saw him. Let's call him \"Alex\". He is shy like me, and so I was afraid that if I confronted him he'd get shy and plus confronting him would be hard for me to do anyways. So last night through Fb, I messaged him saying:\n\n\"Hey Alex, I just wanted to send you a message to let you know that I think your really nice and I'd love to get to know you better. I know we only have one class together and we don't talk much, but maybe we could hang out sometime? I am really shy so sometimes I won't talk but I'd like to try and get to know you better, and see how things go. So what do you think? -K. :)\"\n\nAll to be followed up with him seeing it two minutes later and not responding. He hasn't been on fb since he saw the message, which worried me because he seemed to always be on fb before hand.\n\nI am embarrassed by possibly being rejected, but I don't really know because he didn't answer with a yes or a no. Should I message him again or will that scream \"desperate\"? And if I do what should I say?\n\nMy ex does go to the school also, and I have seen my ex and crush talking but it was usually only a hello-goodbye kinda thing. Oh and me and my crush only I have one class together but are basically locker buddies since his is two lockers away from mine. How should I handle class with him since I was previously thinking of ditching that class for a few days ago so things can calm down (it's not an academic class it's just study hall)?\n\nAny advice helps, thanks everyone.", "summary": "Told crush I like him through a fb message, no answer. Don't know how to handle Monday when I go back to school and have to face him. Also debating messaging him again."} {"id": "t3_jf3rm", "subreddit": "books", "title": "A query about Ulysses", "post": "I've finally gotten onto Ulysses after reading and loving Dubliners and Portrait, and I am definitely going to finish it, so that's not the issue for me. \n\n*However,* I'm not quite sure how best to do this. I'm up to page 100 now, and I've been reading along with The New Bloomsday Book, alternating between reading a paragraph of the guide, then the corresponding paragraph of the actual novel. \n\nThe pros of this method: the guide is really making me appreciate the book more than I know I would without it; some of the commentary on the 'mn' and the gypsies and what have you makes me realise just how astonishingly written Ulysses really is, and I'm not sure that I'd be enjoying it anywhere near as much without the guide.\n\nThe con of this method: it's taking *forever.* I'm essentially reading a 250 page book and a 700 page book in tandem, which makes both take longer than they would otherwise. I really want to finish this book before the end of summer so I can cram in either the Brothers Karamazov or Infinite Jest before school starts again, but at this rate I don't think I'll be able to.", "summary": "question: if the guide I'm reading Ulysses with really is making it a better experience for me, is it worth it taking about three times as long?"} {"id": "t3_2xjicr", "subreddit": "college", "title": "I'm picking high school classes for next year, how important is a 3rd year of a foreign language for the college I want to go to?", "post": "Hello reddit. I'm in need of your help. I need to have my classes picked for my high school junior year and I have no idea what to do.\n\nI live in Nevada, and I want to go to the University of Washington, Seattle right out of high school. Next year I will be in my junior year of high school, so I'm picking classes. Here's my problem:\n\nI'm taking the hardest classes available in my school. The problem is, I suck at my foreign language class. I already have 2 years of French. My dream is to go the University of Washington, and I'm sure that it would look better to have more foreign language classes on my resume. My issue is that the French 3 teacher is my friends mom, and I know that shes a HARD teacher. I am most likely going to fail if I take a third year of French.\n\nI need to know how important it is for me to take a third year of French. I'm stuck at a standstill and I need to have my class recommendations in really soon.", "summary": "I want to go to University of Washington. I suck in my French class. How important is it that I get a 3rd year of French?"} {"id": "t3_4o9d2i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Relationships] Should I [16/M] split up with my girl friend [16/F] of 3 months?", "post": "So this relationship is pretty new (3 months), but we've kissed and we used to see each other fairly often while school was going on. However her parents are extremely strict and we have to meet behind their back. So our carefree Summer where I thought we could spend a lot of oltime together has instead become prison for her where she is only let out of the house to go to summer classes and ACT prep. We won't be able to see each other till school starts again and it's killing us. We've talked about it before and we both still have feelings for each other and want to stay together, but at the same time we can't see each other and it's tearing both of us apart emotionally. What should we do?", "summary": "My gf and I can't see each other over summer at all but we still have feelings for each other, what should we do?"} {"id": "t3_2dpgo0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my Boyfriend [23 M] of 2 years, I need some advice on keeping it going", "post": "Been with my BF for almost 2 years now, and generally we are great. Good sex, hardly fight, chill with each other's quirks, we watch tv and play video games together, we have even talked about moving in together in the next year or so.\n\nBut every once in a while I get those moments of doubt. Those \"am I supposed to be here?\" moments. He's the first boy I had sex with. Neither of us have had sex with anyone else. Our sex is almost always great, but I always wonder what's (or more specifically who's) out there.\n\nI do not want to throw away this relationship I've built just because I kind of want to sleep with other people, but can someone just tell me I'm not alone in these thoughts? How do you deal with them? I don't necessarily feel guilty about these thoughts, because I know they're common and it's not like I'm cheating, I just wonder how you guys deal with them?\n\nSide note: no he would not be ok with an open relationship", "summary": "Love my boyfriend and don't want to end relationship. At the same time, having frequent thoughts about sleeping with other people."} {"id": "t3_4ccb62", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29M] have an issue with the eating habits of my [24F] girlfriend.", "post": "I'll start of with an apology, because english isn't my native language. \n\nI have an issue with the eating habits of my current girlfriend. My ex used to be 49kg and is a model and my current girlfriend probably weighs around +-65kg. I think my girlfriend is beautiful, but she could drop a couple of pounds not much. I've told her that numerous times as well and that she should just stay off the sugar a little.\n\nShe starts her day with some fake ass orange juice with at least 20gr of sugar. She finishes her day always with a cola can (around 30gr of sugar) and not mentioning how she probably eats candy and cakes etc around the day as well.\n\nI'm a quite healthy guy. I go to the gym 3/4 times a week. Almost no sugars and carbs are only on the hard work out days. \nI've told her quite often now that it kinda bothers me and she says she's doing her best, but then I see her at 11pm taking a KitKat + Cola + eating the insides of some f cake or whatever. It disgusts me. \n\nToday we weren't together and I spot that she went to the f McDonalds with a friend of her this evening. Like I have no f clue what to do about it. \n\nIn my opinion she's fine, but she shouldn't be \"allowed\" to eat like that, because of her weight and health.", "summary": "My girlfriend loves sugars and is a little overweight and just keeps on tanking sugars and it disgusts me. I'm I the irrational bastard?"} {"id": "t3_175hd7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Fifth Third is holding my car hostage what can I do?", "post": "Sorry...kinda long backstory. I recently bought a new, used, car. Unfortunately, the person I bought the car from had taken out a loan on the vehicle from Fifth Third. I paid him with a cashiers check (Supposedly as good as cash) and he went to the bank to pay off the loan. That is where the trouble started. Fifth Third said that since he was not paying off in cash they could not sign off on the title until Tuesday, which was the next business day. That's fine no big deal. So I go back to the bank today (Wednesday) to have them sign off on the loan and now they are saying it's a two week wait. Apparently since the loan was not paid off in cash they have a 2 week window. What can I do?? Fifth Third has the money and yet no one can drive the car.", "summary": "Fifth Third received and cashed payment on a $12,000 car, however, they will not sign off on the title because they don't want too."} {"id": "t3_hjz2h", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Moving down to the Sacramento,CA area from Oregon... Does anybody have any tips on a good neighborhood?", "post": "Dear fellow redditors,\n\nMy fianc\u00e9e and I are moving to the Sacramento,CA area from Portland, OR. We are looking for advice as to where we should live. Any insight about the area would be greatly appreciated. \n\nHer and I just graduated from college and I have job lined up in Folsom, CA with Intel as a Software Engineer. She has an Education and History Degree and will be looking for a high school teaching position within the area. \n\nWhat areas should we look into? So far we have been looking at the Folsom area, but we have heard mixed reviews about not having much to do for younger people. Other areas we are looking into are Orangevale, Rancho Cordero and El Dorado Hills. \n\nand for extra credit: If anybody has lived in both Portland and Sacramento, if you could compare cities with analogies, that would be great! (ie Portland -> Sacramento, Hillsboro-> ?, Gresham-> ?, Beaverton-> ?, etc...)", "summary": "I just got a job at Intel in Folsom, CA... where should my fianc\u00e9e and I live?"} {"id": "t3_3l2v4a", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Reddit, I really need advice on how to play music with my boyfriend", "post": "Hello Reddit,\nI \"play\" guitar. I put \"play\" in quotations because I don't even keep up with it anymore. I wouldn't even consider myself a player. My boyfriend plays guitar. I have a music degree. He has a music degree. I've jammed with people far and wide. I used to be a cocky and confident musician. I wouldn't be afraid to tell people what to do and how I felt. Some how, I lost that and I feel all pent up inside. It is my dream to be able to play and have fun with my boyfriend. He's a little different from everyone else I've played with. He's really particular about rhythm and it makes me nervous. He's very particular about patterns and absolutely no noodling. We've already talked about these issues many times after jamming and me getting upset. He's made it clear he doesn't care about how the jamming goes and that it should just be fun\u2026 I'm also used to guys being like \"Wow you're so awesome!\" and he's not really like that. I hate to not just trust myself and feel confident all the time. I feel suppressed sometimes. I don't think I'm depressed or anything but this lack of creating is eating me up some times. I used to write songs left and right. I don't know what happened. I don't even know if I like the guitar any more. It's so weird. I hate to even come to Reddit and ask for some advice because I just wish I had my \"shit\" together.\n\nWe moved out to the middle of nowhere because he's pursuing a different degree and I am doing the same\u2026 So I don't know anyone out here to play with. I want to go on CL and find people but I'm worried he'll feel like I'm cheating him by searching for something different. I just want to play again! I always am more ambitious when there's a goal involved\u2026 sadly\u2026 :(\n\n Anyway, if someone has any experiences to share or any ideas, that would be really awesome.", "summary": "I want to play guitar with my boyfriend but it never goes well/ I get nervous or shy, and after many attempts I don't now what to do..."} {"id": "t3_1xnjl1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Just found out my [27] husband [26] lurks his ex AND my exes online. What?", "post": "Exactly like the title says. \n\nI opened up Instagram on our shared tablet. We both have different accounts but we follow pretty much the same people so I browsed for a bit then went to search for a friend of mine who just got IG. I didn't even realize I was on his account until I opened the search and saw that he looked up only three people: his ex, and two of my exes. One of my exes is from like, Highschool time. We broke up with I was 19. The other ex is the last guy I dated before my husband whom I have had zero contact with since the break up. I didn't even know he was on IG! My husband's ex is a woman he dated for many years who ended up leaving him for another man and nine months later out pops a baby. Gross, right? Her IG is mostly pictures of her art and them some randoms of her baby and her new man. One of my exes IG is solely of his art. The other ex of mine is mostly selfies (I know, right?) and some art. \n\nI want to believe he is just looking to see their paintings, but I don't know... I have no idea if he is lurking their FBs or anything because I chose not to go through browser history (not my style).\n\nIs this something to be concerned about or is it mere human curiosity? I found nothing interesting on any of the accounts. I'm not one for lurking/caring about what people I don't like are doing, so this isn't something I can relate to. I know my lady friends pretty much all lurk their exes and other random people on FB or Instagram, but I just don't get it... I don't know how often he looks or what the deal is. Should I bring it up? Leave it be?", "summary": "husband looked up our exes' Instagram accounts. not sure when/how often. Do I bring it up? Should I be concerned?"} {"id": "t3_1l1rxs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Advice from long term couples (or someone with long term experience)", "post": "Ok so I am almost 27 F, in a serious long term relationship with my boyfriend of 7 years who is also almost 27. We have lived together since almost the beginning of our relationship and our connection was very strong from the start. For a little while now, especially lately I have been feeling less and less passion towards him. I don't really like to have sex anymore or even kiss him. There have been some broken trust issues (no cheating, but some lying and covering up on his end that always get revealed). He feels me kind of pulling away, which I assume causes him to feel less of a draw or connection towards me as well...at least that is how he has been acting and speaking lately.\n\nI guess what I am asking is: is it normal for the passion to fizzle out, as the way I described? Or could this be me actually falling out of love with him, and maybe I should end it...I am scared to break up with him because I am not feeling passionate, only to find 7 years later with a new person the same lack of feelings. I don't want to be chasing around lust for my entire life...I want a life partner. So if anyone out there could offer some advice I would really appreciate it. I have heard that the 7th year is always the worst for some reason, so part of me is hoping that is what we are going through.\n\nMy boyfriend and I have been best friends for so long, I can't imagine my life without him, and I'm not that scared of not being able to find someone else, just that I wont have him in my life anymore.", "summary": "Is it normal for passion to fade and not have any sex drive at all (not even kissing) after 7 years?"} {"id": "t3_45xoqr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my new girlfriend [27 F] of 2 weeks. Connect amazingly with her but she is slightly overweight.", "post": "I got out of a 4.5 year relationship back around Halloween and hit up various dating apps and websites to try and meet new girls. I met this one particular girl in December and we hit it off, texting and snap chatting all the time, and seeing each other pretty much every week. This went on for two months and when I realized the one other girl on the table wasn't right for me, I asked her out officially. We have very good connection with each other, as we are both nerdy and play similar video games together, or watching similar favorite shows or movies together. Anyways, I like her a lot, she is a very sweet and caring girl.\n\nThe only thing that stops her from being absolutely perfect for me is that she is slightly overweight. Not humungous or anything, but a bit of a beer belly. I know she had posted about trying to get in shape when we first started talking but I don't know how committed she is to it. Im obviously not going to say anything to her because that's extremely cruel at this point, but part of me hopes she can be healthy and get in better shape because I like her a lot and I'd like to see it go somewhere maybe.", "summary": "Dating girl who is absolutely amazing except a little pudgy. Feeling bad that I find its on my mind a lot, even though she is great in every other way...."} {"id": "t3_4q8b55", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Found out my fiance (32M) had a MFF threesome before he met me (25F) so why am I so upset over it?", "post": "I'm from a fairly conservative background where I was taught that sex happens after marriage. My fiance on the other hand, can't remember the number of partners he had. Admittedly, it took me a while to accept that because I can't help but wish I was first, but I know that this all happened before I came into the picture.\n\nI learned about the threesome from an ex who sent him an email. The subject heading and first line showed up on his phone and I saw it. I asked him about it and he said it had happened two years before he met me.\n\nI feel like I got punched in the gut. I can't explain why because I know logically, this happened before me. What he did before me isn't something he can undo.\n\nI think maybe I feel as if he has no firsts with me and he's experienced so much more. I have had no desire for a threesome before and now I feel like I HAVE to do the same. I'm wary about his ex emailing him about their experience from TWO YEARS ago. When I asked if I could see the email, I saw that this wasn't her first attempt at reaching him. He had been going through a tough time at work and they used to work together. She offered to \"help\" and said \"Let me know if I can do anything\" to which he replied \"You can let us do another threesome.\"\n\nI just feel sick to my stomach and I know I Should put my big girl panties on and get over it but I can't stop picturing him doing things he'll never do with me, like he's gotten a taste of something that I'll never match up to\n\nIs there any words of advice for me? I know I'm acting completely foolish but I can't stop or bring this up to friends without them possibly judging him...", "summary": "Found out my fiance had a threesome with an ex gf in the past, now I'm feeling inadequate and as if I have to somehow match his experiences."} {"id": "t3_2xowuj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with a girl I was seeing [20F] for 2 months went on exchange. Another girl [21F] has come into the picture.", "post": "I met this girl a while back (October), clicked super well on every level and really enjoyed spending time with one another. But she went on exchange and she's gone for a year, but we talk everyday. \n\nMeanwhile, Ive started to see this other girl, and were exclusive (Met her around the same time but recently started putting more effort into it). We enjoy each others company and do a lot of similar activities and my friends really like her. \n\nIm confused as to what to do... Ive been trying to live in the moment and focus on what is right here and now but its hard to not drift back to her and think of what it would be like when [20F] comes back. At the beginning I chose [20F] who went on exchange. But as I get to know this other girl better [21F] I'm not so sure.\n\nHas anyone else been in a similar situation?", "summary": "Girl I liked [20F] went on exchange for a year (if she didnt leave we would be dating), things with other girl [21F] are getting more serious. What advice would you give?"} {"id": "t3_31cv1x", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I [M/19] restart a friendship [F/19] from 5 years ago?", "post": "So I moved from New York to Indiana back in August of 2010. I had a a girlfriend of roughly 2 years, or at leaat the closest thing to a girlfriend you would expect from an 8th grader. She and I were incredibly close by the time I moved. I have sort of, but not really kept in contact with her. I keep in touch with a few of my friends from back in New York just for like birthdays or whatever. I have sent her a birthday text that just said a Happy birthday and that i hoped she was doing well. No response. I had texted her a few months after we started college to see how she was doing then. No response. We have kept up on each other's social media and this makes it seem like I at least know what she is doing. I really would just like the opportunity to catch up with her but I feel it is coming across like I still have feelings for her when I don't. Is there anyway to smoothly just text her to see how she has been doing?", "summary": "i want to catch up with my 8th grade gf from 5 years ago without seeming like I still have feelings for her"} {"id": "t3_14ko2c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Need some objective advice on financial 'transactions' between me (25F) and my big brother (35M)", "post": "So my brother and I are 10 years apart and we've always had a fantastic relationship. He is now married with two young kids of his own to which I am a very proud auntie. \n\nAbout 11 years ago our father passed away and left me the family piano (among other things) in his will. Now, I used to play when I was a child, but have not played it in years and as I have since moved overseas and moved out again, it has been sitting in my mum's house for years, and only gets used when the kids are visiting or a musical member of the family visits. \n\nI actually tried to sell it before I moved overseas about 2.5 years ago but no such luck - however, I was kind of glad about this as I sort of wanted to keep it in the family - however at the time he wasn't interested or really financially able to buy it as they had just bought a new house, kids starting school etc.\n\nHe recently approached me via text message to ask how much I would consider selling it for, as he is considering buying it for his kids to learn on. Now of course, I jumped at the idea as once my mum's house is sold, I don't really want to keep it in storage and it certainly has no place in my cosy apartment. I would love him to have it, however he is wanting me to sell it to him and from what I understand is quite happy to pay for it. I did have it valued a couple of years ago when I was hoping to sell it back then, however I am wondering whether I need to provide some sort of 'family discount'? \n\nHe is doing me a favour and would essentially be taking it off my hands, but I am wondering whether it is fair to treat it the same way as if I am selling to a complete stranger,", "summary": "Brother wants to buy a piano from me, am wondering whether I need to offer some form of family discount or if I should feel guilty about naming a price even though he has offered to pay"} {"id": "t3_1cch6w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Helping GF 27 get over her trust problems.", "post": "I(27) have been with my girlfriend(27) for about 10 months now. Even though the relationship is going great, my girlfriend is afraid that I'm going to leave here. I have no plans of doing that because she's great and I want to marry her one day. I've told her that and she's alright but every once in a while, she starts saying \"what if you leave me, I don't want that. I love you so much it hurts, etc\" and she thinks that her breaking off the relationship would be better. I talk to her and calm her most of the time and it's alright. It only happens when she's not with me, hence over the phone which is hard for me to control as I can't physically comfort her.\nAlright, it's happened again while I was typing this. She says she can't \"do me any more harm by being negative like this and hopes I have a good life. She loves me and misses me always\" (I don't get annoyed or harmed, I just want us to be happy. She's amazing and I love her tonnes and she's just amazing)\nI don't want to leave her. Any suggestions on what can be done?", "summary": "GF thinks I'm going to break off with her and is sad. I have no plans of doing it. Halp ?"} {"id": "t3_idv2c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Quick advice needed on exit strategy", "post": "Me: 30, her 26. Let me start by saying we arent, and have not been dating per se. We have been seeing each other off and on for about 3 months, and Its been a little strange due to some other circumstances from when we first met. \n\nNow, its movie dates (theater and home-on-the-couch), daydates with random activities, etc etc. I REALLY like this girl, and just recently she friend zoned me. It sucks, and I'm bummed, but I'm not here to ask about \"how to get over it\" and be all emo. \n\nMy question is this, seeing as how I am not going to let myself be a 2nd option and/or fulfill the \"boyfriend\" role without moving things forward, how do I gracefully back out of this situation? I guess what I want to say is something along the lines of \"what you want from me, and what I want from you are two different things, and I'm not going to let you use me for QT because its a waste of my time\". Again, I dont want to come off as melodramatic, just am trying to back out gracefully.", "summary": "Dont know how to smoothly back out of a situation where I've turned into a backup. Dont want to give an ultimatum or be melodramatic."} {"id": "t3_42fbv0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22M] am jealous of the guy my friend [19F] is seeing.", "post": "This story is so silly I cant even really talk to my mates about it.\n\nI live in Australia and met a girl around the start of December on Tinder who lives in the UK (I had a Tinder plus subscription LOL). We've been talking everyday since and the whole time I thought \"this is cool, a friend from abroad.\" She's a really nice girl who is a breath of fresh air, she's chill and nice and to be honest I think we are pretty alike. I never saw her as anything other than a friend.\n\nAnyway, today she told me she is seeing someone. Now all of a sudden I kinda feel jealous of the guy she is seeing and I don't want her to be with him. What's even more silly is that I don't even want a relationship right now. I was in a relationship from Feb 2011 - May 2015 and I don't really want to get into another one right now. I mainly want clarity on how to describe how I feel right now and what I can do to help my situation.", "summary": "I'm from Australia and have a female friend in the UK and I'm jealous of the guy she is dating even though I only ever saw her as a friend and dont want a relationship."} {"id": "t3_3m8wjy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I think I'm falling out of love", "post": "I [18 F] have been with my boyfriend [20 M] for over two years. We were long distance for a year and a half, but now we basically live together. We met online, and immediately clicked. He's always loved me more than I love him, but i still loved him quite a lot. \n\nWe've never had much in common hobby wise, but we used to share passions and morals. Now I avoid any talk about any social issue or topic at all costs because it just leads to arguing and bad attitudes. \n\nHe's very touchy-feely, and I've never been a fan of PDA. I used to deal with it and we would laugh about our differences, but now it annoys me when he won't stop kissing me.\n\nI know it sounds like i dislike a lot about him, but that's not true. He is my best friend, and i don't ever want to hurt him. It's hard to do the selfish thing and leave, when i know we'd both be losing our best friend. I was his first girlfriend, and he loves me unconditionally.\n\nI could push these thoughts away for the last few weeks, but i don't know much longer i can do it. I had a long conversation with a flirty, good lucking guy that i just can't get out of my head. I don't think its actually the hot stranger per say, but just the interaction and the tingly feeling i got inside when chatting with him.\n\nMaybe i'm just bored... maybe i'm falling out of love. Either way I have no idea what to do.", "summary": "Im losing interest in my bf of two years who is also my best friend and i don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_2oxvlx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 F] with my BF [29 M] of 5 years. Received a gift, want to return it.", "post": "There's not much backstory. It's my birthday and he got me a gift. I love it, but it's way too expensive. I'm not a big gift crazy person, but I appreciate these gestures. He really did a great job with it, but I KNOW he can't afford it. We are very financially open with each other, and he was laid off early this year so money has been super tight. He just started working again in a very low paying job just to make ends meet. It's taken a toll on him emotionally, not being able to afford anything and feeling like he's failed. \n\nSo I get this gift, which I love and appreciate the effort he put into getting for me, but I can't help but think we would both be better off just saving the money. I'm not sure about this, but I actually think buying this put him under triple digits in the bank, which is really not okay. He should definitely be saving since he actually still owes me money.\n\nI don't want to make it too much about money and not enough about his thoughtfulness towards me, but ... I just don't know. What can I do/say that won't hurt his feelings and make him feel like he can't even do this for me?", "summary": "BF got me an expensive gift. I don't think he should have spent the money I know he doesn't have. Should I return the gift and tell him to keep the money instead?"} {"id": "t3_c7t0p", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My boyfriend and I both have stuff that belongs to our previous SO's. What is the best way to go about giving it back?", "post": "I have some magazines that belong to my ex boyfriend's dad, he asked for them the day after we broke up (in January), and I just haven't gotten around to giving them back. He hasn't contacted me since then. We do have mutual friends I could do it through, including my current boyfriend, but I would like some stuff back my boyfriend has of mine (nothing major, just stuff I would like to have for the sake of having if I was given the option). \n\nMy boyfriend has his ex's guitar that she gave him when they broke up because it reminds her of him. Now she wants it back, and often texts him at weird times asking for it back. (like Thursday around 12 am.) I think he should wait until his test results come back so he won't have to contact her twice if they come back positive. He is really not looking forward to seeing her again. \n\nIs there a protocol for this? They haven't seen the stuff since January or so.", "summary": "My bf and I have things that belong to our exes. What is the protocol for giving that stuff back? "} {"id": "t3_4s148v", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 F] and boyfriend [18 M] why is it so hard to breakup?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. However, as much as I love him and even though he's my best friend, I think we should break up. I've tried once this week and backed out and couldn't stop crying because I'm so scared to lose him and I don't want to hurt him. I wish I could do this without hurting him but I don't know how. \n\nWe've been long distance for awhile and when we are together, everything is 100% okay. When we are apart we end up fighting every week and two weeks ago he broke up with me, only to ask for me back two hours later. \n\nI feel scared in my relationship because weird things will make him upset or sad, so I have to be careful. I've posted once before, but a long time ago I cheated by sending sexts. He has never forgiven me and a few months ago got abusive and called me names, threatened to leave me, said I ruined his life and some other things. I've always given him full access to all my accounts and stuff but he's slowly weeded out some of my friends. I had to fight with him over being able to talk to a long time friend, who is a guy but gay. \n\nI've never loved anyone this much in my life before and I'm scared I'll be making the biggest mistake of my life. We have a lot in common, we both want the same kind of futures and when we aren't fighting, he's the sweetest person in the world. I'm just lost. He's my best friend and I tell him everything. I worry he will hurt myself if I leave him too. \n\nThank you for reading this and I'm sorry if it's confusing. I'm on mobile and I'm not sure how to phrase everything. \n\nI've never left anyone, I've only been broken up with and I know how awful it is. You feel like you've tried your best and yet nothing was good enough and it hurts like hell. I don't want him to ever feel like that.", "summary": "I feel as though a breakup is inevitable but every time I try I back out or end up taking him back. I'm scared to lose him even though I know this relationship is unhealthy. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_45unci", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Should I turn down a 38K offer with a fast food restaurant to start my massage therapy career?", "post": "Hey guys. I'm 19, I'll be 20 later this year. For the last two years I've worked at a Taco Bell, been a manager there for a year and a half. I recently completed a massage therapy training course and I'm due to get my license in a couple of weeks. I told my boss I was almost done with school and that my last day would be the end of this month. The owner of the franchise called me and set up a meeting, in which she told me that she really liked my work ethic and thought I was doing a good job as a shift lead. She then offered me a job at a different store as a general manager. I would need some additional training and it would be about a year down the road when I officially start there as GM. Should I place my massage career path on hold to take this opportunity? I love doing massage therapy and was pretty mentally prepared to be done with Taco Bell. However, at my young age this would triple my income and I'm already very familiar with what kind of work I'd be doing as a GM.", "summary": "Should I place a massage therapy career on hold to take a management position and 3x the pay at a Taco Bell?"} {"id": "t3_2lqt7i", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (22M) am an extrovert, my live in SO (22F) is an introvert. Things are rocky...", "post": "My SO has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, however her actions mirror those of someone with dependent personality disorder as well as bi-polar. We have been together 3 years, living together for about a year now. \n\nOur friends (initially my friends, she's not the greatest at making her own outside of work and such but has been very much accepted by all of my friends) have a very active social life and often invite me to go out with them. However, she does not like to drink as it has a tendency to exacerbate mood instability. If I make any indication that I want to go, she gets mad because she doesn't feel comfortable home alone (she has some mild self harm in her fairly recent history that worries me in this case). If I then renege she's still mad because I'm then only sticking around out of pity. If I don't make any attempt to go then she gets mad when my friends ask to see me more because she doesn't want them to blame her for my growing lack of social appearances. If she goes out with me then when she doesn't have fun it's my fault for \"forcing her to go out.\" Its a lose lose lose lose situation...\n\nIt's not just alcohol related events either, frolf etc yields the same issue. She likes my friends, they like her, but she doesn't really like to leave the apt when it comes down to it.", "summary": "How do I balance this conflict of intro/extrovert? I just want to make everyone happy but sometimes that becomes directly impossible, nobody gets what they want in the end and nobody is happy."} {"id": "t3_3xy4k7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] would really like to date her [15F]... But she's the sister of my best friend [17M].", "post": "I [18M] know her [15F] now over a Year (since I know my friend [17M]). We haven't really talked to much I saw her from time to time when I was at his place over the weekend.\n\nAbout 2 months ago we came a little closer (I was at his place again and we played on his Xbox One when he went to bed early so we played Dance Central [Dancing Game] until 3am).\nSince then we've talked more often, she hang out with us and 2 Weeks ago we began texting.\n\nNow I would really like to ask her out on a date. But I still haven't talked to my friend about this... I mean she is still his sister, wouldn't it be wierd, plus she is a little young in my opinion(she's her age way ahead in mind).", "summary": "I'd like to date the sister of my best friend. But I don't know if she's to young and don't how to start all of this."} {"id": "t3_3fen55", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [17M] girlfriend [17F] doesn't want to go out with me since 2 weeks, after plans for going abroad studying together.", "post": "First of all, let me elaborate on the whole plan of studying together. We're moving from where we live now with full support from both mine and her parents. That isn't the problem. The problem is that we haven't gone out in 2 weeks now, and I'd want to discuss everything a bit more with her, but I don't find a phone call suitable. Last week she's been busier with stuff I haven't asked about, and we usually chat after 1am. 3 nights ago we chatted till 6AM.\n\nEvery time I approach the situation she gets mad and tells me she won't do something she doesn't feel like doing (going out) and usually ignores me for 2 days after that. Yesterday came some good news and after acting a bit cold to her she asked me if everything's alright and I told her I don't feel like talking, after which she said that she understands and will leave me alone. \n\nShe has told me before that she likes to deal with her problems alone, but I can't cope with that, and it's super annoying because every time I start talking about this she gets annoyed and ignores me.", "summary": "GF avoids going out with me for 2 weeks because she doesn't FEEL like it, gets mad when I ask her why, all after we decided to go studying abroad."} {"id": "t3_ibxed", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Reddit, how would you handle this?", "post": "Alright so I am an only child (16 years of age) and live with my mother and her live in boyfriend. We have 5 dogs and 4 cats. My problem is that my mother and her boyfriend refuse to take any responsibility to tidy the house. Things are getting pretty out of hand, they just will not pick up after themselves, at all. \n For example, my boyfriend and I just recently cleaned the entire living area (being the kitchen and the living room). Wiped down everything, vacuumed, swept, and steam cleaned (bleh, 2 of our dogs are not potty trained). It looked fantastic. I come home that very night, roughly 7-8 hours later, and it was trashed. Shit spilt all over the counters, wrappers and dishes scattered everywhere, trash on the floor, etc. Our help went greatly unappreciated. \n I've spoken with my mother about this and she understands where I'm coming from. She does her best to help around the house but my main problem is her boyfriend and our animals. Her boyfriend believes he is \"too good\" to help with any of the chores. Also the dogs just add to the issue, a matter of fact we just recused a new dog. Like I said things are getting out of hand and I am no longer able to deal with it. So reddit, what should I do?", "summary": "My mother, her live in bf, and our 5 dogs are fucking up the house and no one cares enough to help. I am the only one who even cleans anymore. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1a47ly", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Found out my best friend is being cheated on, not sure what to do.", "post": "My best friend (17, f) has been dating her boyfriend (18) for about a year, and she is really in love with him. My friends and I never really liked him, we always thought that he wasn't always the best to her, but it seemed like he loved her so we left it alone. Well, his best friend told my other friend that the boyfriend supposably hates my best friend and cheats on her whenever he gets the chance and the only reason he hasn't dumped her yet is because he's afraid she will kill herself.\n\nOf course, I feel horrible and I feel like I should tell her. But honestly, she has some severe depression issues and I feel like if I tell her she honestly might kill herself or go into such an extreme depressive state that could last for a very long time. Also, my friend who told me doesn't want me telling her because she doesn't want to get in trouble and she feels like the messenger is always shot so we should just stay out of it (this friend would be really pissed at me if I told anone else, so much so that if I were to tell people it might loose my friendship with her which I don't want). I really do want to tell my best friend though- I feel like she has the right to know (if it were me, I'd want to know)- but I am honestly concerned as to what would happen if she were to find out the truth. They had broken up for like 3 days 6 months ago and she literally woudn't stop crying the whole 3 days and didn't eat or sleep. I just really don't know what to do here.", "summary": "found out my best friend's boyfriend hates her and is cheating on her, but I am afraid of what telling her might do even though I feel like she deserves to know."} {"id": "t3_3i5qug", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21f] boyfriend [22m] friends are excluding him [22m,21m] after he invited them places together", "post": "I just don't understand why this happens. It's happened to me before too. \n\nMy boyfriend Ben* has been friends with Tim* since they were 5 and Jo* since they were 16. Tom and Jo never hung out alone. Ben recently invited Tim and Jo out all the time because Tim broke up with his girlfriend. They saw a movie together and went out together about 5 times with Ben Tim and Jo and other assorted male friends of Ben.\n\nNow Tim and Jo see each other all the time and don't invite Ben. This really upsets Ben. They go and see movies and go out clubbing. Ben just invited Tim somewhere and he told him that he already has plans with Jo. \n\nBen is justifiably upset. I am just wondering why this happens. It may sound really silly but i have had this happen to me before as well. I am confused. It seems really rude. I have always been inclusive instead of exclusive and when I organise anything I always invite everyone I think may want to come even if I know they won't. I have never done this to anyone ever. But it's obviously a common thing.\n\nI'm just wondering why. And how to go about fixing this? Ben is so hurt. Is it the kind of thing you just leave it and don't say anything? Ben has already mentioned that he was kind of hurt about it to Jo but they still aren't inviting him.\n\n*shitty made up fake names", "summary": "my boyfriend invited his two best friends out a lot in a medium size group a handful of times now they hang out alone and don't invite him. His hurt."} {"id": "t3_21ef7v", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Should I be worried about getting a blood clot?", "post": "Hello,\n\nI'm writing this because of several factors, I'm not usually the paranoid type, but basically:\n\nFirst an intro about me, I'm 21 years old male, 5'7, I'm in decent physical shape (used to be obese, now a little overweight and losing weight at a decent pace). I don't have any major illnesses, except depression, I take 10g of cipralex daily. \n\n1. My family has a history of blood clot (my father had one in his leg and required an operation etc etc)\n\n2. I have some kind of depression, which gives me physical symptoms, so sometimes I feel pain in one of my my legs, and it always makes me anxious about having a blood clot, I have no idea what to do, since it's obviously not a good idea to go to a doctor to check for blood clot every time depression shows physical symptoms. (I am getting treated for depression, the treatment is going well, but I believe i'm always going to get these \"physical\" symptoms every now and then)\n\n3. How can I stop being worried about this? And how can I make sure to prevent it happening to me?", "summary": "family has history of blood clot, depression expresses physical pain in legs which makes me anxious, how can I stop being worried?"} {"id": "t3_1lcq1l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24/F) want to effectively communicate with boyfriend (30/M) that his recent behavior leaves me feeling neglected.", "post": "I've been dating current boyfriend for a little over two months and things have been great. He's funny, charming, and usually very thoughtful. However, recently things have changed a bit.\n\nHe's been extremely busy at work -- a lot of people recently moved on to new organizations in his office so he's handling a lot more than his normal work load -- and I'm trying to be as supportive as possible because I know he's so stressed and wants to do a good job. \n\nHowever he's recently been cutting out on our plans without giving me a heads up, so I end up waiting to hear from him for hours at a time because I think our plans are still on. When he does get in touch with me he's really apologetic and citing that work kept him away, but it feels like being stood up every time, and it's hurtful. I feel like I'm no longer a priority for him. \n\nIt also seems to be reopening old wounds. My previous (and first) long term relationship ended over a year and a half ago for similar reasons (the straw on the camel's back being that ex was supposed to pick me up from an international airport when I came to visit him during a semester abroad and showed up almost 6 hours late). \n\nI don't want to be in another relationship where I'm simply an option, but I don't know how to talk to him about it in order to convey this. Do I bring up the past baggage? Do I simply address the surface issue? Help!", "summary": "Current boyfriend keeps cutting out on plans without telling me and I feel like I'm being stood up. Although he seems genuinely apologetic I need to convey to him that this can't continue."} {"id": "t3_2xrlio", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not Checking my Ports.", "post": "Hey guys, so I just fucked up a few minutes ago, lemme explain.\n\nIt's 2 in the morning and i'm 16, I have my own room and laptop, it's a simple laptop, a chromebook, but it does what I need it to do. However, I'm also a heavy listener of music and as such have a nice pair of over the ear headphones. So i come into my room, I had just gotten back from using the bathroom after trying to fall asleep for the past four hours, but try as I might I can't sleep.\n\nAs I come back into my room I decide that sleep isn't happening so I instead opt to go to grab my computer and surf the web. I begin surfing and after a while I decide to put on some music, I check to make sure my headset is plugged in. Now, my headset has two plugs a USB and an audio/mic cable. I can feel that it's plugged into the USB port but the audio cable isn't plugged in so I quickly fix that, however my chromebook only has one input that works as either a mic port or an audio out port.\n\nI plug in the audio cable, not really looking, and pull up [this.] The song starts up and I notice it's a bit quiet, so I bump up the volume on my chromebook until it's at full volume, at this point it's listenable and I'm pleasantly rocking out. About 2 minutes later my dad bursts into the room, yelling at the top of his lungs about how he has work tomorrow and I need to turn that down immediately.\n\nI'm confused for a moment before I look down and notice that... My mic cable was plugged in instead of my audio out cable.\nSince I had noise cancelling headphones I hadn't noticed them yelling at me to turn it off, and I hadn't noticed that it was so quiet even at max volume because I had those on...", "summary": "Mix up mic input and audio output cables for my headset and end up blasting Rock music at full volume at 2:00 in the morning."} {"id": "t3_t0y8f", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm 18 and I've been feeling crappy lately. I'd like to talk to reddit about my life, and see how different things have affected who I currently am.", "post": "I don't really know what to talk about here, or why I'm even posting this. But I know I could benefit from therapy, and for monetary reasons I can't pursuit a real therapist. I'm 18 and I've had a lot of stuff happen in my life. I thought I could ask reddit for help. I'm just looking to talk about life and everything, and maybe some people can offer insight. Just to put this to bed, this is a dummy account so I'm not here to be a karma whore. Well here's some of the shit that's happened in my short life. In 2008 my 5 year old cousin died in a car accident driven by my Aunt who was high on prescription pills at the time. My other cousin, who was 20 at the time, was also addicted to prescription pills. The two both went to rehab and are clean for years now. That same aunt had my uncle cheat on her with a man, (hes out of the closet now) and they're going through a divorce. Also, my moms cousin who was like an uncle to me shot himself about a month ago. My Grandfather stayed with us in a bed in our living room while we cared for him for about a year until he died of cancer in 2007. I feel like this has something to do with my inability to communicate with women my age who I feel attracted to, and it leads to my being socially awkward with my friends and causes me to not be looked at fondly by other peers of mine. I just feel like I should talk to someone from outside my life about this, so here goes nothing. Help me out reddit.", "summary": "I've been feeling kindof crappy lately, can't see a traditional therapist for monetary reasons. Just asking reddit to talk about life and help me just explore my inner mind."} {"id": "t3_zn7va", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Dear reddit, would my college life be easier if I started college without commitments? As in break up with my girlfriend", "post": "relationship info: Both 18 years of age, I am a male, relationship is 4 years as of two months ago.\n\nI'm going to a school that's 2 hours by train from where she is going and I scheduled my classes so I can come home weekends and see her, but lately we've been arguing a bit (not too much but it's related to me going away for school) and I've been wondering if college would be better if I broke up with her. I really don't want to because I've been dating her for 4 years and I really think she is the one because I love her immensely (sorry to get sappy reddit) and can't think about being without her, but people have always said these relationships don't work out and even she is skeptical but I want to try. I just need other people's perspectives, thank you reddit.", "summary": "going to school two hours away from gf, want to make relationship last and thrive, but people and signs point otherwise, need opinions."} {"id": "t3_18rjce", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (22M) seem to be only falling for women who have been hurt in the past by men cheating on them", "post": "The past three women I've(22M) been with for an extended period of time have all had a lot of problems guys cheating on them in the past and generally treating them poorly and it has made relationships difficult for them. Is this more pervasive than I thought especially among my generation or am I just unlucky/attracted to girls like this?\n\nThe first one I was in a relationship with but had huge trust issues. She(21F) would check my text messages/facebook/reddit accounts/email with no real cause. I didnt ever really notice it but she would tell me sometimes because she felt bad she did it. Like I'd get a text from an ex or something but then id kind of brush the ex of in my response so my gf at the time would read it and feel bad about being suspicious.\n\nThe second one(21F) I was hooking up with for 6 months, and while it started as just a hook up, it turned into something more but she refused to call it a relationship or a boyfriend/girlfriend thing because of how she had been treated by past relationships. She ended it because it was feeling too much like a relationship to her after a while and thats not what she wants.\n\nThe most recent one(22F) I went out on a few dates with but, despite going really well and her telling me she did like me like that, she said she didn't want to get into a relationship because of how her last relationships had treated her.\n\nFor the girls who told me they didn't want a relationship, it wasn't one of the cases where they were saying it because they just didn't want a relationship with me, neither have been in relationships since they told me they didn't want one.", "summary": "The girls I am attracted to have major issues with trust and commitment because of previous relationships. Is this super common with my generation or am I just unlucky/attracted to these types of girls"} {"id": "t3_4017eu", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by burning my brother's tongue.", "post": "This FU just happened a number of minutes ago. My parents are out the door, and I am left home alone to avoid any crap they might give me.\n\nI went downstairs while my parents were getting ready, and grabbed my 6 y/o brother some milk. He says he wants it \"wormed up\" so I microwave it. I never really do this, so I'm sitting here thinking *\"Ok, 1 minute should do the trick. Yeah, that seems about right.\"* So I put it in for a minute, then hand it to him. My dad comes downstairs. He takes a drink, spits it out and says \"Holy crap that's hot!\" and in all his little kid rage chucks the bottle across the room. My dad is yelling at me, and my mom says she always puts it in for 30 seconds. Woops. I told them I did (lie) and I made up some bullshit about the microwave's power level being higher or something. I got away with it! As for my brother, he has minor burns on his tongue. Sorry little bro!", "summary": "Over-nuked my brother's milk and scalded his tongue. Bullshitted my way out of it."} {"id": "t3_1lwetj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[15M] and my crush[16F]. Giving me the cold shoulder and acting like I don't exist. Any help or suggestions appreciated.", "post": "So, I've tried a few strategies in getting to know her better.\nShe's 16, beautiful, thoughtful, playful and kind. I'm not romantically interested in her per say, just want to get to know her better and develop a friendship. I'm a handsome guy, (in my humble opinion) and I've never done anything to upset her.\n\nSo, I've known her for around 2 years now. We've had a few short discussions about whatever, and she seems to have taken an interest in me. We don't live too far away from each other, but just far enough that I don't get to see her on a regular basis. She and I both have Instagram accounts, and that is where I've last interacted with her.\n\nHer family is slightly odd, but nothing crazy. Her parents are probably in their 50's and her brother is 18. I'm acquainted with her sibling, and we talk once in a while. Her father, though, has always been odd and reluctant to talk to me let alone include me in what they do. This may just be a fatherly defense mechanism, so it should be taken with a healthy dose of my favorite seasoning.\n\nRecently, my IG account was set to open. She liked a photo, which was a good sign. That's all, though. About 2 weeks later, I grew a pair and followed her. Since then, she hasn't responded in any way. It should be noted I tried making my profile private, as an attempt to try to draw her in. So far this has been unsuccessful, and instead of paying attention to me, someone she somewhat knows, she follows douchbags. Along with that, I've developed friendships with a few of her female friends, and I didn't experience any reluctance. \n\nSO...observations? Comments? Thoughts? Chuck Testa? Let me know!\n(BTW I can't use link flair on this device. Sorry!)", "summary": "I have a crush on a girl and she's acting like I don't exist. I'm posting here asking for your thoughts."} {"id": "t3_47t5hv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (22 M) and roommate (22 F) fooled around the last two days. She has a boyfriend, he knows.", "post": "I'm completely lost here. \nMy roommate has been one of my best friends for 4 years now, I used to live with her boyfriend and around that time they started dating, perfect couple since then.\n\nNear the one of last year I realized I probably had some dumb feelings for her, I've been battling with depression and anxiety for a while and she's been the rock that helped me get trough most of it. I might have gotten a bit attached after that.\n\nAbout a month ago we were talking trough some stuff and I broke. I told her I loved her, how bad I felt for that and stuff like that. We tried to work it out the best we could.\n\nShe moved out today (unrelated) and we talked a lot during this past week, she told me that she loved me too but she couldn't do anything about it, she had to think about her boyfriend and how everything affected him. We ended up getting a bit to close and heated, there were some neck kisses, some rubbing, it was definitely not ok. But we liked it. She said she was ok with it, but we should stop, there were other people to think of.\n\nThe same thing happened today but apparently our roommate hear something and got suspicious, he heard some of our talks and \"accidentally\" read some stuff on my Facebook inbox (he uses my PC regularly). He had a talk with her, we don't know what to do.\n\nI love her, I really do, she helped me out with so much and has been the only consistent happy part of my life for a while. I don't want to lose her and she tells me the same, she said she was going to talk to her boyfriend today and hasn't responded my texts for a while now. I don't know what to do, my anxiety is kicking in and I'm in a really bad place with some intrusive thoughts right now.", "summary": "Fooled around with my best friend and roommate, told her I loved her. She has boyfriend and is probably telling him right now. I am desperate."} {"id": "t3_1q2g8d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] with my Fiancee [23F] 9 year relationship, having to choose between relationship and dreams", "post": "Background: Me (23F) and my fiancee (23F) have been together 9 years, engaged for almost 5 months (also poly, so I have a boyfriend (M23) of also almost 5 months). We have done the split/take a break and get back together thing twice before.\n\nSo my fiancee has always wanted to live in Japan, ever since she was a little girl. I knew this going in but it always remained a far off maybe, a sort of distant amorphous thing, that when we first got together sounded fun (because I was a teenager with nothing resembling foresight). But now it has become a potential reality, she's considering doing a program that would have her over there teaching English for 1-2 years. \n\nHere is the issue: I love her, but I can't do the long distance thing, having her be in the next county over is hard enough (due to work schedules we don't see each other as much as we would like) and I can't move to another country, away from everything and everyone I know and love, to a place where the language and culture are alien. Her dad was in the military, so moving around wasn't weird to her, I've lived in the same city since birth, my whole family is here, almost all my friends, my job that I love, I can't just drop all that and move.\n\nI love her, more than I have words for, but I don't want to stand between her and a dream that she has had since before she was in Kindergarten. I know that if she doesn't go, then she'll regret it, but if she does, then I have to either uproot entirely and leave behind my life, or do the long distance thing (a semester while she was doing study abroad was hard enough) , or end the relationship. I feel like no matter what option I choose one of us or both of us lose. And if we split, that's it, we are done (I told her if we split again that was it, we can't get back together after that, I can't handle that kind of emotional pain).", "summary": "Fiancee has a long-term dream of living abroad, but I don't know if I can uproot my life for a relationship."} {"id": "t3_2gr0y1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[M21] not over anything", "post": "So I'm not over either of my exes. The first ex was a girl I dated towards the end of highschool . I lost my v card to her cause I knew for a fact she was the one . We were together for 3 years but she made my life hell. She accused me of raping her the day we lost it. She treated me like she was better then me in everywhere. Making fun of my ideas and my passions. Lying to me about a lot of things. Getting mad at me for seeing my friends that she hated for no reason. Even through all of that I still loved her. So after the three year marked pass , a few days after thanksgiving we had a serious agreement that ended in sex and after sex she wanted time alone to think about us . Honestly, I kept texting her telling her I'm sorry and that I loved her . During this time she was with her best friend cause he wanted to give her advice . I could go on with more detail but you guys know the end. She left me completely and started to date her best friend . I was heart broken for awhile. Didn't show up for work for a week. I tried dating other girls but I couldn't do it and I would just leave the girls and never talk to them . After 6 months of being miserable and just feeling nothing for relationships , I met the girl that changed it all. I met her at work and she was the perfect girl. She treated me amazingly and she made me forget all about my ex. I was happier then I ever was with my ex. Then shit hit the fan after 3 months . I found out she was cheating on me. She was talking to other guys while with me and tried her best to keep me a secret. It's been 4 months since that happened and I've talked to girls but I wouldn't go anywhere with it cause I'm scared I'll just get hurt again. I'm also not over either of my two exes. Each of them had something I loved that I can't find in anyone else. Everything is just making me depressed and feel alone. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "Pretty much not over my exes and because of them I'm scared to get close and have a relationship with someone again."} {"id": "t3_xq6o6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "PRetending to learn Russian", "post": "I am learning phrases in Russian because this way I both increase my vocabulary and I practice actual grammar a bit. The current one I am trying to learn is \"How was your weekend?\", but there is a twist which I am getting stuck on. There are 2 Russian speakers I know, one of whom has a 1-day weekend as she works on Saturdays. As such the phrase \"\u041a\u0430\u043a \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0448\u043b\u0438 \u0432\u044b\u0445\u043e\u0434\u043d\u044b\u0435?\" does not fit because that literally means 'How passed days off?\" (yes, I know that the verb can mean either physically passing or time passing [actual phrase stolen from google, I admit]) which is plural it seems and therefore wrong as she only had one day off. As such, I was wondering if I can use \"\u041a\u0430\u043a \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0448\u0435\u043b \u0443\u0438\u043a\u0435\u043d\u0434?\" (I formed) meaning \"how passed weekend?\" which works for both people, even though one of the people worked over part of the weekend it still is correct. The other thing which is bothering me is that \"\u043f\u0440\u043e\u0448\u0435\u043b\" is perfect, and I am not positive if I should be using perfect or imperfect here. I am aware that the weekend happened already, but I thought I had read something about asking about what happened on a date uses imperfect...", "summary": "Can I ask \"\u041a\u0430\u043a \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0448\u0435\u043b \u0443\u0438\u043a\u0435\u043d\u0434?\" and be saying \"How was your weekend?\" or does this literal translation not function correctly?"} {"id": "t3_2d3hkq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24M] girlfriend [23F] of a couple months has Tinder on her phone", "post": "I don't want to freak out or dump her or anything like that, nothing like it. I quite like her and the relationship, she has a lot of good qualities that my ex's have lacked (both cheated on me, woot woot). She is excited to introduce me to her friends, and just last week I spent 4 days at her house (we both are in our college town for the summer) meeting her parents, and I'm the first guy she has ever brought home to her parents. All in all, I don't think she's taking our relationship lightly or thinking of dumping me anytime soon.\n\nShe had Tinder when we started dating, but deleted it. However last night, when I was picking a song to play on her phone (plugged into the speakers), I saw Tinder was back. No notifications, but still, she brought it back. \n\nOn one hand, Tinder is pretty much a dating/hook-up app where you say \"her, we both find each other attractive, let's chat\". On the other hand , if the conversations are platonic and just along the lines of \"haha look i found my friend on here\", then there's no reason to be upset.\n\nFor what it's worth, I've seen both her text and facebook conversations multiple times, and she is talking to literally zero guys on either. Just her female friends and me.\n\nThe point of this topic is I want to bring it up in a calm way, and see why she has the app. I want to think of some good questions/statements for her, and need help from you guys! \n\nThanks!", "summary": "Girlfriend of ~2 months didn't have Tinder for a while, but recently re-added it. I'm completely unaware of how/how much she's using it."} {"id": "t3_3yekck", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not translating my airport's name.", "post": "So my friend and I had to leave Japan from Osaka, and the writing on the confirmation email was mostly in Japanese. I figured there was only one airport, so I thought it must be Osaka international airport. So we take the last train (at around 11 pm) to Osaka airport from Kyoto the day before, so we can just spend the night there and not pay for a hostel. But, when we arrive, the airport was closed. We were like \"oooh no, this is all wrong. It shouldn't be closed.\" We translated the name in google and found out it was Kansai International Airport, the other airport in osaka which was 2 hours by metro. Unfortunately, since we took the last train, the metro was was closed. We spent the next hour in the 30-degree temperature figuring out our plan until the metros open. We decided to head by taxi to the main Osaka station and wait until it opens at 5 to take the train to the other airport. We arrive at the station expecting a 24-hour restaurant of some kind, but everything around the station was closed. So we were outside in the cold just wondering what to do until we couldn't stand the cold and ended up huddling under an overpass to escape the strong, cold breeze. We stayed under for 2 hours until I got fed up with the cold and told my friend we were going to walk as long as possible to find someplace warm. We ended up at a sushi bar till they kicked us out then at a karaoke room waiting for the metro to open and start running again. The metro ran up again, but unfortunately, I confused a station's name with the one we were supposed to switch on, so we get off only to realize we were going the right way after all. Then we have to wait 30 minutes for the next metro to pass but it is not following the same path which confuses us even more, so we get off on the next stop to realize again we were going the right way. All in all, it was an experience I would rather not relive.", "summary": "Went to the wrong airport, spent most of the night under an overpass, bar, and karaoke room, then finally got to the metro only to confuse station names."} {"id": "t3_2fn34w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(14/M) Feeling lonely. Parents won't let me get a gf.", "post": "I started high school about 5 days ago. I made a bunch of new friends. I'm enjoying high school so far.\nThings at home aren't so good. My parents are running out of money, they won't admit it.\nI applied to over 200 jobs this summer, I got a couple of interviews but, once they asked for my age, things went downhill from there.\nHaving no money limits me from my social life, I can't hang out with friends because they go to the movies and eat which I can't afford.\nI laugh, socialize and I appear to be happy. At the end of the day, I'm not happy, I feel lonely... I'm empty.\nI met this girl yesterday who's in the same grade as me. She's sweet, funny, smart and gorgeous.\nWe exchanged numbers, and we've been texting/flirting back and forth ever since.\nI would love to ask her out but...\nI asked my parents about the whole dating shebang and they really don't want me to get involved. They say it's going to bring my grades down and I might get her pregnant...\nAlso, I have little to no money so I don't have anything to offer her.\nThat's about it. I don't know what to do. I can either go behind my parents back or just ignore my feelings and go back to studying...\nAdvice?", "summary": "There's a girl I like but, my parents don't want me to get involved. Also, I have no money."} {"id": "t3_3wl187", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] had a one-night stand with a friend of a friend [21?F] couple of months ago. I matched with her on Tinder two days ago, but didn't sent a message immediately and now she unmatched me. Do you think it's ok to send her a FB message?", "post": "So at a party (which was at my neighbours house) we met and we hit it off pretty well. Evening turned in to night and we were both a bit tipsy. One thing let to another and we wake up in my bed. When she leaves I forgot to ask for her number and I don't think about her for a couple of months.\n\nBut then while mindlessly meatjudging on Tinder one night I see her pop up and after swiping to the right we instantly match. I didn't send her a message immediately and I kinda forgot about it until today when I wanted to send her a message.\n\nBut now she unmatched me and I kinda feel that she thinks I didn't recognize her. So I want to send her a short facebook (we have mutual friends and I know her name) message saying something along the lines of: \"hey I know I didn't send you a message instantly, but I did recognize you and I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise.\"\n\nI want to send her a message explaining it (and maybe to try to fuck her again because it was good) but I don't wanna seem like a creep. Do you think it'd be okay to send her a message?", "summary": "Had one-night stand, forgot about it, get matched on Tinder, forgot about it, got unmatched on Tinder, feel guilty. Send message Y/N?"} {"id": "t3_4oaqwm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [27F] ex [27M] broke up with me 4 years ago tomorrow. I'm am still not over him and still secretly want to be with him even though I'm with a good guy [42m]. I can't go on like this.", "post": "i met \"Darren\" when I was 19 and it was instant love. He is tall, intelligent, very classically handsome and so sweet. We had a great relationship until on a very drunken night out with friends, I cheated on him. He broke up with me the next day and never looked back. I was devastated, I mean not get out of bed for three months devastated. \n\nI eventually moved on as best I could and would date but no one ever compared to Daren. I would text him from time to time just to see how he was doing (and admitedly to see if there was any spark) and the only time he ever responded was when he said \"I loved you too much to ever forgive you.\" Which of course sent me into another bed ridden bout of guilt and depression. \n\nWhen I pulled myself together I met \"Bill\" who is considerably older than me but a really nice man and has a successful but unglamorous business. He also has two small kids whom I like but they resent me quite a bit even though I met Bill long after the divorce.\n\nI just got word thought the grapevine that Daren had graduated veterinary school, which brought up a whole host of emotions about how one bad night and I find myself with the nice but overweight divorcee with a cement pouring business and a ready made family. While some other girl is no doubt with \"my\" sweet and compassionate soul mate who is going to make people and animals lives better.\n\nThis isn't fair to Bill of course because he's been nothing but nice to me but still, it's how I feel.\n\nAfter four years of still being madly in love with Daren, how do I possibly move on?", "summary": "I'm not over my ex boyfriend after four years. Even with another good guy in my life I'm still obsessing over the ex. How do I move on?"} {"id": "t3_1rwmoj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend (F22) and I (M22)are graduating college soon but we live in different states (6 months).", "post": "My girlfriend (f22) and I (M22) have had a solid relationship (6 months) so far. She loves me, I love her, we take care of each other, we talk about everything and nothing. It's all great. I've never felt this way about a girl before but I've never actually never been in a relationship before so every new step in it is actually very foreign ground. She on the other hand has been in some relationships an is more experienced then I. Soon she'll be graduating a semester before I will, and she'll be hitting the job market. We don't know where she'll be going, if she even gets a job, but I'm pretty sure she'll be getting a job in her field. Regardless if she finds a job or not, I'll graduate and go home and try to find a job but I live in a different state, and these state are not exactly close to each other. I'm in the west and she's on the east coast. We have had small stints of being apart but I hate it. I love her and want to be with her, but I also want a kick ass job and will go where ever the best opportunity would take me.\n\nHow should I approach this probable long distance thing. I've never done it and have almost 0 relationship experience.", "summary": "My girlfriend and I are eventually going to be in a long distance relationship and IDK what to do cause I'm a noob at relationships."} {"id": "t3_1t2kle", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my gf [22 F] together for 4 months. Current flame found naked photos of ex on computer and won't speak to me.", "post": "I was in a long-term relationship of about 5 years before I broke up with my ex about a year ago. During this time, we've accumulated hundreds if not thousands of photos together. Most are just random everyday moments we've shared, but a few are rather intimate.\n\nEnter new gf. We've been together for around 4 months. I've taken her home previously and have given her free reign of the house and my PC. On one of these visits, she browses through my computer, which is what she normally does anyway. I step out for snacks, and when I return, she had packed up and left.\n\nFast forward to today, I find out that the reason she left so abruptly was because she had discovered my ex's nude photos on my computer and feels like we're still in touch and that she could never \"live up to her memory\". The ex and I are no longer on speaking terms, but we were in a FWB arrangement until shortly before I met this new girl.\n\nI would like to point out btw that I did not intend to keep these photos on my computer. I'm just a very disorganized person overall, I have photos and documents laying all over the place and I sometimes forget what's what and where! I had never gotten around to cataloguing and organizing my photos after the breakup...until today, that is.\n\nI have now deleted the offending photos and archived (encrypted and moved off to an external hard drive) the non-nude, non-offensive ones, but my girlfriend still won't speak to me. I don't know what to do to apologize. I've shown up with flowers at her apartment; but no dice. She's having none of it.", "summary": "Girlfriend found naked photos of ex on my PC. Long-buried photos I had no idea were there. Photos are deleted, but gf won't speak to me. Wat do?"} {"id": "t3_4ho6f2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (22M) broke up with my SO [20F] of 4 and a half year. I never broke up with someone before, i dont know how to feel or what to do.", "post": "I broke up with my So of 4 and and a half years this morning. We have been living together the last 2 years. I've had a nagging feeling that I dont love her as I used to, even though i still really really care about her, for a couple of months now. I've delayed the breakup and tried to get things to work even though we had fights and discussions about us, about moving from our flat to a city 24 hours away and about a lot of stuff.\n\nI never broken up with someone before, I feel bad, almost like i regret it. I want to go to bed and wake up with her, at the same time I dont. I want to be alone, I need to be alone and grow as a person. Do things by myself and by my own planning and initative, even if its folding laundry, shopping grocieries or whatever. At the same time i feel so guilty for hurting her like this, and I feel like a dont deserve her love or affection because I dont feel it towards her in the same way. I still care about her a lot. \n\nWhat should I do? How do I deal with these issues? Are there anyone else that have been trough something like this?", "summary": "Me (22M) broke up with my SO [20F] of 4 and a half year. I never broke up with someone before, i dont know how to feel or what to do."} {"id": "t3_353wq8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] am struggling with my boyfriends [23M] depression and anxiety.", "post": "Boyfriend and I have been together 7 months, when we first started dating he suffered from a mild form of anxiety which has worsened over the last 5 months in particular. He has been suffering as a result from sleep deprivation and depression as a result.\n\nWhen we first started dating we were both really happy and he very quickly told me he loved me (within 2 months, thankfully I felt the same). Since then we both became unemployed, while he quickly found employment it took me almost 5 months. This of course put a lot of strain on our relationship, to make matters worse he hates his job, it's a mindnumbing job but made stressful by those he works with. We started arguing a lot - not just bickering but full scale screaming \"why are we together\" type arguments (though when that's mentioned we both quickly back down).\n\nHe's recently been less and less happy, with everything. He's talking about moving, he's not talking to his family and he struggles to get out of bed. He still has great days where he would walk 18 miles to see me on my first day at work and then walk me home - bringing me flowers out of the blue etc. As someone who's never dealt with anxiety/depression ive admittedly not been the most supportive SO as frankly, I wasn't entirely sure what to do (though since the early stages I have done my own research). \n\nThe other day we had a huge argument, which ended in us talking it through and I apologised for not being as helpful as I could and have vowed to try harder. However, he mentioned that he may not love me- he doesn't know if he ever did or if it's just the way he's feeling at the moment. I don't want to get my heart broken and I don't know if at this point it's better to walk away?", "summary": "boyfriend has anxiety and depression, recently told me that he doesn't know if he loves me. Is this the end or should I continue trying?"} {"id": "t3_1fnetu", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[23/m] How can I help my girlfriend (22/f) feel better about her weight?", "post": "My girlfriend is 22 years old and recently has put on weight despite going to the gym a lot and eating healthily more recently. Honestly, I'm completely fine with it. In fact I've grown to love (maybe even prefer) the way she looks now and still find her very attractive, though if she wanted to lose weight I would be just as happy.\n\nShe's recently became especially self-conscious about it, though says she's never been happy even when she was quite thin, and it's having an effect on our sex life \u2013 she doesn't feel comfortable with herself and so isn't interested in sex. More importantly though I think it's making her unhappy, but a lack of sex can obviously have some effect on a relationship.\n\nSo we talked about it recently, and firstly I told her how I loved the way she looked even if in her opinion weighing more was less attractive. That didn't help.\n\nThen I said well maybe you need to try and be more comfortable with it and kind of fight the feeling of thinking 'I hate the way I look' when looking in the mirror'. She said she's already tried doing this a lot, and it didn't work.\n\nFinally I suggested we just talk through why she felt so bad and she said that this only made her upset and didn't help so she didn't want to.\n\nThe thing she keeps repeating is that she doesn't care what anyone else thinks it's that she isn't happy with herself and that's what's getting her so down.\n\nI feel as if I can't do much more at the moment, so I was looking for some insight into what might be the best thing to do next?\n\nIs there a way I can make her feel better?\n\nOr is there something I'm missing or not understanding about the whole situation?", "summary": "my girlfriend feels uncomfortable with her weight which is preventing us from having sex, I've tried everything I can think of to try and make things better, what do I do now?"} {"id": "t3_uonlu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Someone please help me. My mom has been giving me a very hard time and i can't make a decision for myself", "post": "I'm a kid, please bear with me. I have spent a countless amount of meticulous hours planning to do productive things over this summer. My Schedule is done, but i am greeted with my mom's plans for me. She thinks i am going to stay home and play video games all summer (which i find very strange because i don't even own any video games, and when im on the computer im only on here), and she has signed me up for a summer program that will possibly make me WORK 8 hours a day. Worst of all, i will be singing songs( its a choir thing), which i am no good at. I calmly explained the situation to her, and all hell breaks loose. She says that I made her look like an idiot because when she went to sign me up for the program(before even telling me), she spent 3 hours waiting for the person in charge of the program. Now i obviously don't want my hard work to be in vain, but she is seriously overreacting to the situation. i have dealt with her for the previous 3 summers in similar \"apprentice\" programs. So reddit, do you think i should go to the program? (It contracts almost all the plans that i made, and the program is basically my entire summer)", "summary": "spent 2394871985719 hours planning plan. mom comes and tells me very last minute to do a program i don't like. she is very inconsiderate of my feelings. should i still go?"} {"id": "t3_1l8nmx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[22M] with my girlfriend [19F] of 6 months, talks to her best friend about her issues first.", "post": "So me and my girlfriend share a mutual friend who she is pretty close with. It is a guy and I am not really worried about her cheating on me or anything like that. The problem is that she will go to him sometimes first with any emotional issues she is having rather than me because sometimes I freak out and blame myself. \n\nI know I shouldn't do that and I have been working at it and it has gotten better. Though sometimes entirely I am left out of the loop and she only tells me after talking to him first. It does make me feel kinda uncomfortable that she can openly talk to him about our relationship and her problems without coming to me first because they have kissed once and did something else before we started dating and she won't tell me what. \n\nAt the sametime I am happy that she has someone to talk to that can also help. I'd just really rather not find out late or not find out entirely. I don't want to be the kind of guy that sets limits and says \"You can't do this or that\", but I have no idea how else I can approach the subject without her getting defensive and me being accusatory.", "summary": "Girlfriend sometimes goes to her best friend to talk about problems instead of me and sometimes I am left out entirely and she talks about our relationship pretty openly. No idea how to approach this."} {"id": "t3_3vbqpx", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Freaking out about everything relating to school; Really need advice", "post": "I am currently a 19-year old pre-med student at a public university. It is currently my 2nd year here, but I'm at a junior standing. While I came in with a pretty good head on my shoulders, I feel like I'm just taking a turn for the worst.\n\nThis semester, I'm currently taking classes such as Organic Chemistry 1 + Lab and Bio 2 + Lab. For my first few exams, I did pretty well. 93s on both my first organic chemistry exam and my first biology exam.. But then my exam grades got worse and worse.\n\nI'm currently sitting here freaking out about my organic chemistry final exam because there is too much information to memorize and regurgitate onto the exam..\n\nI'm currently debating on taking a semester or year off college because it doesn't feel right to me. However, I don't have any other passions than to become a pediatrician. But I know that I don't even compare to any other pre-med student here with a 3.3 GPA and not getting A's in every science class I've taken. I haven't done any volunteer work or shadowing, and I'm not sure where I could even do this.\n\nAll I want to do is sit in my dorm room and play video games. I feel like I'm throwing my life away, but I know that I'm more interested in pro-gaming than I am with my education. What do I do?? I'm freaking out.. And thank you for taking the time to read this for anyone who stood by.", "summary": "Freaking out about college being too much and not being being nearly comparable to my competitors. No passion for anything besides becoming a pediatrician. Asking for advice on what to do."} {"id": "t3_3j8wbk", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by stopping the bus too early", "post": "This was my first day of high school and i was already really stressed out. What made things even worse is that i havent lived in the city for more than one week before so i didn't know where to press the stop button to exit. \n\nSo my day goes fine until i try to find the bus, but i couldn't find the bus stop where i was going to board the bus. I walked for like half an hour and i found it, i kept thinking that if i dont find it i'll kill my dad who's job it was to find me a bus to take.\n\nWell, i found the stop and i boarded the bus. Like half an hour later i saw the stop where i were going to stop the bus. Unless it wasn't. It were 3,6 miles before i was ACTUALLY going to stop, but i didn't know that at the time so i hit stop and exited the bus.\n\nI walked for like 2 seconds before i saw that where my house originally were, there wasn't actually anything so i was thinking like \"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK\".\n\nI called my dad and swored him out to hell and if he didn't pick me up i would move again.\n\nAs angry as he was he said just to keep moving on the side of the road. So i walked for like 1,5 hours before i heard my phone ringing. My dad called to tell me that my stepmom was coming to \"rescue\" me and i said ok and that he should call her and tell her that i had been walking for like 2 hours. \n\n2 hours later i were like 4 feet from our house after taking the journey of walking over 3 mountains, 2 tunnels and 2 miles of asphalt. Then my stepmom comes riding in her car looking for me.\n\nI was so pissed i didn't talk to my dad for like 3 weeks.", "summary": "Stopped the bus too soon, had to walk over 3 mountains, 2 tunnels and 2 miles of road to get home."} {"id": "t3_3bvq12", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by inviting over my coworkers' dead father.", "post": "Obligatory: this happened just now and I'm still wallowing in shame, but not badly enough to wait until it wears off to write a post\n\nI keep a bunch of dinosaur toys on my desk at work. There's a triceratops and a stegosaurus. I expect every intelligent person to know the difference between the two but, just in case you don't [here's a handy explanation] Right. So my desk-mate pointed to the triceratops this morning and asked if it was a stegosaurus. Rather than smacking him for not being a paleontologist, I gave a super dank explanation: \n\n\"No,\" said I. \"It's a tricerotops. Cuz it's got tri, three, ceras on its tops!\". So witty. So cool. That's why I'm the king of the workplace.\n\nMeanwhile, another coworker walked by. He said, \"hey, that's what my Dad used to say when he was describing tricerotops.\" Now, a social adept person would have heard the phrase \"what my Dad used to say\" and figured there might be more to the story. Not me. \n\n\"Hey!\" said I. \"That's awesome. Your Dad is awesome. Let's invite him to the office! Why has he never been here before? Can't wait to meet your dad!! He rocks.\" \n\nMy coworker just stared at me sadly and walked away. Turns out his Dad is dead, and the triceratops thing was a fond childhood memory, not an invitation to remind him of his loss. Oops.", "summary": "Invited coworker's dead father to the office. Ruined a happy childhood memory involving dinosaurs. Clarified stegosaurus vs triceratops once and for all."} {"id": "t3_4ijobh", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I'm being accused of cheating during a university exam. What should/can I do?", "post": "Hi. \n\nSo I'm a senior at a German university. I'm currently writing my masters thesis and in my LAST exam I took, I'm accused of cheating. \n\nHere is what happened.\n\nIt was an exam about international taxation. I'n all my classes we were always allowed to use so called \"uncommented laws\" as a help, meaning we were not allowed to write anything in our law books EXCEPT underline the text AND make a note at the side of a paragraph referring to another paragraph. But said note was only allowed to be a number - no written text, i.e. next to the paragraph 3 of the Income Law I draw a number 4 referring to paragraph 4. \nThis was always allowed and its still always referred as \"uncommented\". \n\nHowever, at this exam about international taxation the prof didn't allow said notes at the side of a paragraph referring to a different one. He still allowed underlining. \nYet, he still called it \"uncommented\" as well. \n\nSo therefore I wasn't aware that this prof had a different definition of \"uncommented\" than all the other profs at my university. \nSo, at the beginning of the exam, right after it was handed out, the supervisor checked my law book and of course said it was not allowed b/c these notes were in it. He took it away and I had to take the exam without it. But no problem there. I managed somehow. \n\nAfterwards the prof accused me of trying to cheat, which would result in a F. \nI tried to explain the situation of the different definitions of \"uncommented\" and that I simply made mistake. Yet, the commission did not rule in my favor. \n\nAs of now I have 4 weeks to reply to that decision or I have to take the exam again (also in about 4 weeks).\n\nWhat should I do? Get a lawyer? Let it slide? Is my case even reasonable? Did anyone of you had a similar experience?\n\nThanks ahead for your comments!", "summary": "I had notes in my law book, which were usually allowed but not for this exam and no I'm accused of cheating which would result in a F"} {"id": "t3_2xkfb8", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Did it make \"date\" clear enough?", "post": "I'm quite sure I have but I have a few little doubts; I'll try to be brief. \nThe girl is in the same class as me, the course required a group project. I paired up with this guy I'm good friends with and then went out of my way to make sure this girl had a group because I noticed she wasn't in one with anyone else. We met without the other guy in the group to work on the project but ended up procrastinating alot since we got on quite well. I asked her for her number after and sort of made it like \"You're in the same group so it'd be good to have it, but I'd like it anyway\" to which she agreed. I asked her out for coffee and said \"I don't have studying in mind\" and she agreed to go out. I feel pretty sure that she knows it's a \"date\" but I never explicitly said and I haven't done anything like say \"you look nice today\" or flirt in an obvious way (although I plan to do this asap) so do you think she gets the message? It would be cool to get some girls opinions but I'd be glad to hear anything.", "summary": "Girl in same class and group project, got her number and asked her out for a coffee (she agreed) but could she think its classwork related?"} {"id": "t3_4q2bik", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my SO [24 M] 1 month, his ex-girlfriend [20 F] wants to ruin our relationship.", "post": "Okay, so I met this guy over the internet. He lives on a city 2 hours away from mine. We've been meeting for a month (he's been coming to my city), and suddenly his stalker ex-girlfriend looks for my BROTHER on instagram/whatsapp and starts saying stuff that went wrong on their relationship, like saying that he cheated on her once, something my SO told me beforehand on an attempt to be truthful to me, so that wasn't a surprise.\n\nShe also accused him of really bad things based on a small conversation. He told me his version and it seemed pretty accurate, so I didn't listen to her. I asked to talk to her because I was too embarrassed she looked over to my brother to say all this stuff.\n\nSo she told me he \"changed her style\" and her friends got away as they dated. But he told me they had an abusive relationship for 4 years, where she wouldn't let him play games with his friends and talk to girls, and she would pick his phone to check up all his messages. When they ended the relationship she was so upset she put up pictures, his name and his cellphone number on a gay dating app.\n\nNow my brother is suspecting of him, while I trust my SO. He's been very loving and respectful to me. I'm also afraid that this girl comes back again and does something stupid to him or myself.", "summary": "My SO's ex-girlfriend came to my brother and told things that went wrong on their relationship. I'm kinda confused. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1kcsc0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [28F] miserable in my marriage [to 27M] but not sure if its bad enough to leave.", "post": "Well, I think the title says it all. I'm miserable and so is my husband. We're fighting constantly (about EVERYTHING), never do anything together and I have a low libido which he takes personally. We've been married for two and a half years, together for four total. We haven't been to marriage counseling yet but that's the next step. \n\nI love him but am so sick and tired of being sad, depressed and moody. I daydream about being alone constantly and wish I could just move out and leave everything behind. I think we moved into things too quickly and didn't get to know each other first. We're (well mostly him) constantly saying things like \"If I knew xxx I wouldn't have married you\" or \"If you did xxx when we were dating I wouldn't have stayed with you\". I want to be happy and I want him to be too, and if that means we separate, I'm okay with that.\n\nWe rent, don't have kids and not much in savings so the split would be pretty easy (well, not easy but you know what I mean). I guess what I'm looking for is advice from people who have been in the same situation. I know we made vows to each other but I can't take this much longer.", "summary": "Miserable with my husband but not sure if I should end this. Just looking for advice and input from people who have been there."} {"id": "t3_qokol", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm with the love of my life but...", "post": "My Fiance and I (engaged last Christmas) have been together for 7 years. She is the love of my life and she feels like I am absolutely perfect for her. I would classify our relationship as very healthy and mutually supportive. I am straight and she is bisexual. She had never been with a woman before, so we both agreed it would be a good idea for her to hook-up with a very good, close friend (I'll call her Liz). They had a blast and we had a threesome together a few days later. But now Liz has feelings for my fiance and my fiance has similar feelings in return. My fiance and I are still going to get married but now Liz wants to pursue a relationship with my fiance. Is it wrong to think that this could play out successfully? Or will this relationship (Her and Liz) eventually crash and burn? My fiance is very open about all of her feelings with me and her feelings for me are much stronger than those for Liz. There is no question in either of our minds that we are going to get married. Any advice on what to do from here would be very appreciated, Neither of us have ever really been put in a situation like this before.", "summary": "My amazing fiance has crush on a female friend who likes her back. She should pursue it or should she break things off? My fiance loves me very much."} {"id": "t3_2qpsra", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my SO [27 M] of 3.5 years, I went through his texts and can't stop thinking about something I saw.", "post": "I admit that going through his text messages was wrong and I do feel incredibly guilty about it now but the bigger issue for me is that I found something that I can't stop thinking about. He was talking to his good female friend and I saw a text that said \"am I being an idiot for leaving [my name]\"? . I stopped reading after that because I started having a panic attack. The idea of breaking up was not even on my radar and I thought he was more than happy. Again, I know I shouldn't have looked but whats done is done and now I can't stop worrying about when it's going to happen. And now i'm being clingy just because of my worry which i'm sure doesn't help. I love him and don't want to lose him.", "summary": "I saw a text from my SO to his friend about leaving me, can't stop freaking out. Need serious advice."} {"id": "t3_462om9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [29 M] struggling to support my girlfriend [23 F]", "post": "I'm worried this is going to make me sound awful but I'm really struggling to cope. My girlfriend and I moved in together a few weeks ago and this coincided with her Grandpa getting very sick.\n\nAs a result she's been visiting him at his care home or her grandma virtually every night after work.\n\nThis effectively means I'm doing all the chores and cooking dinner because by the time she gets home it's too late for her to do it. Then when she does get back she's upset and needs cheering up.\n\nI'm trying to be supportive but it's wearing me out. This morning she told me not to clean the kitchen before she gets back and that she'd cook dinner but then her mum rang her and asked her to go and see her grandma after work because she's upset.\n\nI'm not going to leave the messy kitchen and the dinner for her but I'm exhausted and I'm pissed off that the rest of her family are taking so little responsibility.\n\nShe's got a sister who works in our town who could visit her grandparents after work but doesn't and two cousins who also do nothing.\n\nOn top of this I have an elderly Grandpa of my own who I'm struggling to visit because of the added burdens being placed on me.\n\nI'm quite stressed at work at the moment and I can't deal with the thought of going home, cleaning the kitchen, cooking the dinner and putting laundry on then cheering my girlfriend up when she inevitably comes back in tears.\n\nI want her to stop carrying her family on her back because the longer this goes on the more the others are going to just assume it's fine and they don't need to help out.\n\nAny advice?", "summary": "My girlfriend is having to support her family practically singlehandedly and I'm struggling to cope with the added burden of doing all the chores because she's never around."} {"id": "t3_1d4p2n", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by rinsing with listerine", "post": "In the spirit of good oral hygiene, I decided to use some of my fine Listerine anti-cavity rinse this evening, which was located on the top of the cabinet in my bathroom. It had no cap, but lots of our stuff has no cap... So I filled up the dispensing top and let it settle at the appropriate level.\n\nInto the mouth to start some vigorous swishing!\n\nHmm... wtf is that granular stuff in my mouth?! Sugar? I proceeded to spit it out into the virgin white sink.\n\nBlack. Lots and Lots of black.\n\nThat isn't sugar my dear, it is m'fing ANTS!\n\nI nearly vomited and am having a difficult time not vomiting as I type this now.\n\nI went in search of some proper Listerine to cleanse my mouth. But it didn't solve the problem.. I still had this clenching sensation in my chest that something was amiss.\n\nSo I proceeded to make myself a Knob creek (bourbon) and ginger ale. Which thankfully has made this much better... but that clenching sensation is still there.", "summary": "I used some mouthwash, whose dispenser was a perfect trap for ants. So I gargled with 25-50 dead ants and nearly vomited."} {"id": "t3_2jtrqq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I 18 M asked a 18 F out on a date, now what?", "post": "This girl and I met over the internet and have never met, she lives only 8km away so it will be very easy to meet her. We started texting around five days ago and we seemed to get along very well , she would say things like \"I like talking to you alot\" and \"you're really sweet\" So I decided to ask her out on a date and she said yes! ... Well problem is i'm always the one to initiate conversation, She has never started texting me out of the blue. I'm wondering if I should ease off and let her start some conversations or should I keep initiating daily conversations?", "summary": "Been talking to this girl for almost a week and asked her out on a date. Should I keep texting her daily until the date or let her \"chase\" abit?"} {"id": "t3_1m8etu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hi faceless friends/should I be a police officer?", "post": "So, yes, I have resorted to anonymous posts or inbox replies from strangers...but, I think I need to be a police officer/detective. I was raised on VERY religious/strict backgrounds so I rebelled and tried somethings while I was a young adult. I went to college and have a B.S. in criminal justice administration. I then decided social work is more proactive, but still have a huge desire/draw to be an officer. Am I wasting time as a female if I try? And also, what's the paperwork ratio? For people involved in our system, what's the 'better' work to handle? I do supervised visitations, but am NOT CPS, and I am always looking out for clients. Wouldn't want to lose that respect as a cop, and desire that field...a lot!", "summary": "girl with criminal education background needs to know if cop/detective work might be my ally, or go with social work?"} {"id": "t3_3h7snu", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by running from the police.", "post": "This happened last night/early hours of this morning, so it's pretty fresh in my mind. For added background I'm a 16 year old guy living in Scotland.\n\nLast night myself and a few friends were invited to a house party, which was good fun. Being the 16 year olds that we are we really don't care what we drink, as long as it gets us drunk, so 3 bottles of buckfast later and a coke, rum, vodka, tequila mix between the 4 of us (there was about 100 people at this party, we don't share or hand out drinks lol sorry) we were all a mess.\n\nBy the end of the night we were pretty intoxicated, and we were about to head to another party, but we were all to drunk to move. We waited a outside for a while where the first party was being held and, because when we are drunk we smoke, I decided to start rolling a cigarette. Next thing I know there are headlights are in my face. It was the police. \n\nWe were all drunk and still had bottles of beer on us, so we began to run. I threw my cigarette back in it's rolling pouch and began to run as fast as I could. Imagine what it looks like to a police officer when a teenager is rolling something then begins to run when they show up? \n\nI feel the strongest takedown of my life. This guy was superhuman. All my friends kept on running, every man for themselves, bolting away in every direction. I get dragged to my feet and they ask me what I was rolling. At this point I was thinking the whole \"don't say weed... don't say weed\" to myself, but sure enough the drunk mess I am comes out with \"weed... I... I mean... It was a cigarette\". They searched my bag and took all my alcohol, which is fair enough, but they searched me for about 10-15 minutes looking for this weed that I didn't have. It was humiliating. They found where I kept my tobacco and looked through that before handing it back feeling satisfied that I wasn't carrying any drugs.\n\nThey took all my details and because my Dad was also in the police (sorry Dad) they let me walk home and brushed it all under the rug.", "summary": "got drunk, was rolling a cigarette, police came, I ran and got tackled, they thought it was weed, I said it was weed."} {"id": "t3_3ge134", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Roomate [28M] doesn't clean his room, the horrible smell is leaking out- even under the walls. How can we confront him? [31F/26M/35F/38M]", "post": "Our roomie, lets call him Phil, is a quiet, socially awkward, fellow. He's polite, showers daily, and hardly uses the common areas of the house. He commutes to work during the week, comes home, makes a big salad, or orders takeout, then plays League until his bed time. \n\nWe all hang out together from time to time, roasting smores in our fire place, sharing a meal together, or playing board games.\n\nHe smells fine. The trouble is his room. It stinks! I don't think he's cleaned it since we signed the lease- nine months ago.\n\nOne day Phil left his door open after leaving for work, and when I got up (three hours later) the smell was still wafting out, down the hall. I took a quick peak in to survey the state of things, thinking maybe I could just open his windows for a few hours and air the place out. \n\nThere were some take out bags waiting to be dealt with, a few cups and plates, and *a lot* of clutter. Obviously, the takeout is a big problem, but it wasn't the piles of garbage I was expecting from such a smell. There was a huge pile of laundry, and a smattering of receipts, napkins, empty amazon fresh bags waiting to be returned, and a thick layer of dust and grime covering the floor and every surface. But- he's not a hoarder, he just doesn't seem to keep his room clean. I don't think he's ever swept, mopped or wiped down anything. \n\nWe're worried about Phil's room, not just because of the smell, which has become unbearable(!), but because we might not get out deposit back if it continues like this. \n\nHis room not only needs a serious deep clean- but it has to be maintained. We know this is going to be awkward, and we want some suggestions on how best to confront him. How can we approach him?", "summary": "Roommate needs to clean his room, the stink is coming out under the walls and door. How can we tactfully tell him to take care of this problem and maintain a clean room in the future?"} {"id": "t3_4of7fc", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Finally ready going back to school. Is it too late?", "post": "Sorry for the long drawn out issue and I'm on my phone so there might be errors. \n\nI'm 25 and this past spring I took a long, hard look at my life. I don't like my job situation, even though it's decent, I just don't want to be doing it anymore. Im going back to school in August, and plan on focusing on veterinarian medicine, for the time being. Maybe quitting my current job or getting a second job as a veterinary technician.\n\nThe thing is, I won't be going back full time for another few years given my finacial situation of having to work. So that leaves me with more than 8 years of school, so if I do the math I'll be almost 40 by the time I graduate. Which I'll probably be fine with. Better late than never. Maybe I'll take summer courses. Maybe when I go back full time I'll take on a huge work load of credits to make up for it. Maybe I won't even want to do that by the time I'm knee deep in it and change to something else. Being a vet for exotic animals(specifically for rehabilitation for neglected and abused) is something I've always wanted to do and if I end up sticking with it I'll have a huge hole of debt I'll probably be paying off until I'm way in my 50s or 60s. Which I don't see a problem with because I don't see myself retiring until I'm finally dead, or owning a house, getting married, and definitely don't want kids.\n\nHaving loads of money isn't what's going to make me happy, being able to do things that are dear to my heart while living reasonably by myself is really okay.\n\nSo to sum it all up, my questions are:\n\nDoes anyone think it's too late for me to take this on in my at my age?\n\nIs there anything that I might be able look forward to in this situation? (I'm kind of going through anxiety think about it all and may need motivation to hold onto for later)\n\nIs there anything I SHOULD be worried about in this situation that I might be overlooking?", "summary": "25 and finally ready for school. Long stretch ahead. Money and time not an issue for now. Is it too late though? Am I going to regret it?"} {"id": "t3_3aqdb1", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Does anyone have advices for getting into a relationship while still recovering from a horrible relationship?", "post": "So about 2 years ago I got out of a horrible alcohol driven abusive relationship. I am still recovering, I've really only had countless one night stands to try to fill the void of feeling awful, like literally 4-5 times a week. I never sleep over, develop feelings or anything like that. I've finally met someone I am interested in starting a relationship with but I still have all these barriers up, I still hook up. I limit myself to seeing this person 1 or 2 times a week, I still don't sleep over. I'd like to change that but I don't know how and I am really scared to. My ex who I don't speak to was in a new relationship with in a month of our break up and says it was easier to get in a new relationship because he doesn't remember the last month of out relationship. I havent spoken to him in over a year. I am so so angry at him, I remember cleaning up his piss, vomit, shit. I remember dragging him up stairs when he passed out in his car, I remember him disappearing for days on end or strange men showing up to the apartment. This is what is preventing me from any new relationships. Any ideas on how to change?", "summary": "Was in a shitty relationship, two years later still not ready get into a relationship but want to be. How do I change?"} {"id": "t3_52s9nw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25M] with my girlfriend [24F] together 1.5 years, Walked in on me", "post": "Today, my girlfriend who I live with walked in on me taking care of myself while I thought no one was home. She is helping me through school and at the time I thought she was upset because I wasn't studying. She had just argued with her parents that I couldn't help her dad move stuff from their old house because I was busy studying. She walked in at the absolute worst time because the hours leading up to that moment I had been studying.\n\nShes texting me now and I'm finding out that what really upset her was that she feels as though she has to force me to have sex and even thought I might have ED. She is very angry and I felt embarrassed trying to explain that it was not because I was turned on I just needed to relax a moment and keep studying. She thinks I don't find her attractive which is not true. I don't know if this is only true of me or men in general but most of the time it is not a sexual thing. It just helps relieve stress.\n\nI recently broke my leg and gained a lot of weight during that time. Sex isn't as appealing for me because of how I feel, not because of her. I tried to explain it to her but she is still very upset. How do other women feel who may have been in a similar situation? What should I do?", "summary": "Girlfriend walked in on me taking care of myself and is upset because she feels this means I do not find her attractive. This is not at all the case but how can I show her that?"} {"id": "t3_1f50jy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (23) and I (22) have hit a rough patch.", "post": "We've been dating since I was 18 and he was 20 and have an amazing connection. I love him more than anything, but lately things are...different.\n\nOn the topic of serious discussions - When we disagree it's usually just before bed, and 9 times out of 10 he will fall asleep and leave me talking to myself. There have been many many nights where I just lay there frustrated until 2 in the morning listening to him snoring. I feel like he brings these issues up at night and then avoids the problem by falling asleep so that it can be forgotten about by morning, and let me tell you, it's the most frustrating feeling in the world. Honestly, it makes me feel like he doesn't care about how I feel. \n\nOn the topic of friends/family - He has a really great group of close friends and an incredibly supportive family. I have neither. As a result we're always hanging out with his friends and going to visit his family.. but never mine. I know they're not as great as his, but they are still important people in my life that I would like to continue a relationship with. \n\nOn the topic of sex - He doesn't come on to me really, ever. Once in a blue moon he will, but I initiate for the most part and I get shut down more often than I think is fair. I understand if his sex drive isn't as high as mine, but it does make me feel insecure. \n\nSo to wrap it all up, I do love my boyfriend. We share a very meaningful connection that I don't want to give up. But I'm not very happy, and I feel like I should be using my early twenties to discover my own identity, and find my independence. When I imagine how I want my life to be, it's not very similar to how it is. What would you do? Have you been in a similar situation? If so, how did it work out?", "summary": "I am in a loving relationship, but feel unsatisfied emotionally, sexually, and for personal reasons, mainly due to my own quest for independence."} {"id": "t3_1du8dh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm starting to feel like my needs aren't being met in my (F24) relationship with BF (M27)", "post": "My boyfriend (M27) and I (F24) have been together long-distance for a little over a year. He's much more of a \"head\" person while I'm more of a \"heart\" person. Lately I've felt a little neglected emotionally. I know he loves me because he says so, but I don't think he knows how to show or act upon it. I leave him little notes here and there and do small things for him all the time, but I'm just not sure that he's the romantic type. I've been extremely stressed out with graduate school lately, and I've felt like we're growing apart emotionally because he's not capable of really showing a lot of emotion or support. \n\nWe're long distance (1.5 hrs) and only see each other on the weekends. The nightly phone call lasts maybe only a couple minutes. No other communicating or texting during the day and some nights he falls asleep early and we don't talk at all. I'm in a doctoral program and constantly stressed out. I just started therapy for OCD and anxiety, but he's been dismissive of these things and never asks how it's going. \n\nOur sex life has been lacking lately too since I've started a new birth control pill and I've been spotting / on my period on and off for a couple months (he isn't down with shark week sex). I was fine in the beginning but I'm starting to feel a lack of intimacy and passion now that I feel like he's just grossed out by me. \n\nI really think this is just the way he is. He tells me he loves me a lot and cuddles / touches me when we're together. There's really not a thought in my mind that he's cheating. I think he's just a mathematical, engineer type and hasn't dated much in the past, and this is just the way he is.\n\nHow do I bring this up in conversation with him? I need to communicate that my needs aren't being met, but I don't want to hurt his feelings or insult the way he is. I love him, but I feel like I need more affection, romance, and support.", "summary": "Boyfriend is more of a \"thinker\" while I'm a \"feeler.\" I don't feel like he understands my emotional or romantic needs. How do I address this with him?"} {"id": "t3_2lk3bg", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by inventing Rail-Ramming", "post": "This is a throwaway, because people that know my Reddit handle read TIFU. Also, this happened a few days ago technically.\n\nAs a bit of setting so that you can understand my situation, my highschools' entryway, where this TIFU took place, is basically a very large oval with two floors. At the center of the circle, there is a staircase that leads up in two opposite directions, and there's also a balcony-like section that allows you to walk between both upstairs wings of my school.\n\nI'm in a program called 'Broadcast', where we prepare bi-weekly recordings for everyone to see on every other Friday. As it's November, and Thanksgiving is coming up, we thought it would be really neat to have teachers line up at the bottom of the staircase, while we drop down a banner that says \"Happy Thanksgiving!\" over them. I think we had about 14 teachers standing there, side by side, staring at us while we get the banner ready, and I'm about to toss the banner down to the ground level, so another student can drag it across the 'oval', over to the other staircase, and hand it to another student who will run it up the stairs to the other side (We couldn't run it around the walkway because there was a pillar which would block the banner).\n\nTIFU begins here, because as I throw down the banner, the other student begins to relay it to the third guy, and the banner isn't long enough to stretch to the other side of the staircase. So banner holder dude begins to pull on it for some reason, and I, being the uncoordinated dope I am, lose my footing on the edge of the staircase, and trip and fall; I grab a railing, but my angular movement gets me to hit the rail in my precious. Proceed to teachers running to see if I'm okay, while I cry out \"Man down\", or something equally stupid, and other students laugh out loud.\n\nI guess someone present was telling stories about what happened, because now everyone asks how it was getting de-floured by a rail. One of the assistant Principals asked if \"I need help with any students regarding my 'accident' \". I think that was what really hurt my pride the most.", "summary": "Smacked my jingle-juggular on a rail and now assistant Principal wants to be my knight in shining armor against lower-classmen."} {"id": "t3_2au97h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] have developed stronger feelings quicker than SO [23M]- Makes 1 1/2 year relationship more difficult", "post": "Throwaway because i'm pretty sure he's a redditor. We've only been dating for a year and a half, but i'm pretty sure i'm in love with him. I honestly cannot see myself with anyone else, and i've been in previous relationships that have lasted 3 years + that have never developed, emotionally, as far as this one. Our relationship moved pretty fast from the word go and we started living together within 6 months which may be why the emotional side of things moved at such a rapid pace, but something just tells me he isn't where i am in the relationship. \n\n2 weeks ago, i tried to explain this to him and he was supportive and understanding, but gave no inclination that he shared what i was feeling. I want to tell him that i'm in love with him and can see myself marrying this man, but of course if he isn't at that stage which is very likely as 1.5 years isn't a long time, then i could potentially ruin what we have.", "summary": "1 1/2 years in and ready to marry this guy, can't really express how i feel to him as could potentially fuck everything up- what do?"} {"id": "t3_z6274", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the scariest supernatural experience you or someone you know has had?", "post": "Recently my mum described something that her and my dad experienced around 4 years ago in the house we lived in before the last (we move around a lot). What she described left me a little freaked out to say the least. One night when they were both sleeping in the master bedroom, my dad woke up to what he describes as chills. He raised the upper half of his body, as if to move further up the pillow and prop himself up and as he did he spotted, standing at the foot of the bed was a limp, lifeless figure, gazing down on him. The description of this 'figure' resembled that of a sort of coal miner. My dad described what he was wearing as that of a miner or something similar. He said the clothes were dark and filthy, and the figure had bleak expression on his face. Immediately he woke my mum who was still fast asleep next to him. He told me he specifically woke her while keeping his eye directly on the figure, as if to make sure it didn't vanish if he lost eye contact for a split second. When my mum woke she immediately saw exactly what my dad was looking at. They were both frozen solid. My dad then reached over to flip the switch on the bedside lamp and as he did the figure vanished. As you can imagine sleeping didn't come naturally for the remainder of the night. My mum tells me the reason they didn't mention anything to me or my brother and sister was purely to keep us from being absolutely terrified! I'm very grateful she did.", "summary": "mum and dad woke in the middle of the night to see a ghost like figure standing at the foot of the bed, gazing at them."} {"id": "t3_25h9vq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My ex-girlfriend [19 F] is in the hospital and I [22 M] just broke up with her.", "post": "We were dating for about 7 months and it had came to a point that she was controlling who I spent my time with and pressured me into sex when I didn't want to. We had broken up on Sunday and agreed to speak on Monday In person.\n\nMonday came and she was submitted to the hospital with a blood clot in her leg and a blood clot in her lung which was caused by her birth control that I had asked her to get on. So last night we talked about our relationship and I reinsured that I did not want to be in a relationship with her. So after A long talk with a lot of tears from her I feel like the biggest bag of dog shit ever.\n\nI told her that I would around in the hospital and I don't mind being supportive while she is in the hospital but I am worried about after the operation if I am doing more damage by sticking around than I would if I were to just split? I just need advice because I am worried.", "summary": "I broke up with my girlfriend and now she is in the hospital with a severe blood clot. Now I am wondering if I should stick around or split?"} {"id": "t3_3hbui6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Best friend(22F) and I (23M), don't know what kind of responses I'm expecting, just wanted to get it off my chest", "post": "I've seen other stories and read some opinions but I really just wanted to get this out there somehow because I'm not good at talking to actual people about things \n\nSo I'm in a situation that I don't know what to do about, currently my plan of sailing along and ignoring it is doing fine(ish) for fora while, but every so often like today I just can't stop thinking about it\n\nI(23M) have some pretty strong feelings for my best friend(22F)\n\nIt's regularly commented that we have amazing chemistry together and that what we have is a kind of best friendship different from what other people have. Were totally inseparable, do everything together and can barely go a day without talking to each other\n\nanother friend of mine only last night said that she wanted to bash out heads together and make us talk about our feelings.\n\nHer and I have actually admitted to having some feelings for each other, we once came close to sleeping together, and earlier this year we kissed a few times on various occasions.\n\nHowever she has said to me a few months ago that she was confused about the feelings she had for me and because we are so damn close she's affraid of risking what we have in pursuit of something more,\nAnd if I'm honest the thought of it scares the hell out of me as well, as much as I want something more to happen I think we are both too scared to do anything about it.\n\nI could be totally wrong and she might not actually feel the same way about me, despite what our mutual friends have said\n\nI mean like, she has gone on other dates whilst this has been going on between us, and so have I, but for me it always boils down to fact that none of the girls I've talked to are anything like her.\n\nThis has pretty much been going on since January and it's all just so confusing and I guess any input is welcome from you guys, I just wanted to vent\n\nThanks for reading my stereotypical story of a boy pining after his best friend", "summary": "I like her, I've been told she like me, both seem to affraid to act on it, mutual friends want to knock our heads together"} {"id": "t3_1oqj8v", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Men of Reddit with female friends, do you never consider them to be just friends? (confused girl about friendzone)", "post": "Hi, I'm a girl and I've had quite a lot of male friends since childhood (mainly because I'm really into video games aaand my female friends aren't so much :/). I've always considered them as friends and nothing more, to me the line is really clear. We hang out to see a movie, spend afternoons playing video games etc, but I never thought about starting a loving relationship with any of my friends...\n\nNow, since I've started being on Reddit, I see tons of posts mentioning \"friendzone\". And that's quite shocking to me, because it never occurred to me that my male friends could think that way about me...for me they just considered me just as they consider their male friends... if that wasn't the case and that indeed they felt \"friendzoned\" while they wanted something else, I would feel...betrayed maybe? because that would be like they lied to me about us being just friends...\n\nI'm thinking a lot about that right now because I lived an awkward situation last week : an ex-colleague (who wasn't even a \"friend\", I just talked about video games with him sometimes but he's quite grunchy so I thought he just...tolerated me at best!) started to be quite flirty with me on Skype, saying weird stuff that I tried to brush off as jokes but he seemed really serious about it... that was just horrible, I never thought he saw me like that! I've heard from another colleague that he just dumped his girlfriend, so was he looking for any potential girlfriend in his vicinity? urgh...", "summary": "my question is : Men of Reddit with female friends, do you consider them as just friends or as \"potential\" lovers?"} {"id": "t3_4t79n2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [20M] is leaving for army basic training and I'm [19F] torn over what to do.", "post": "My boyfriend is leaving for army basic in about a month, and I'm leaving around the same time to study abroad. We've been together for about a year and a half, been friends longer, and have been through a lot together. A lot of people (especially my parents) have been telling me that we should break up when we leave. \n\nBoth of us have never been in a serious relationship before, and we're young, so people say we need more time to grow and expand our horizons. Not to mention that military life is tough. \n\nI really love this guy, and he loves me and I think we can make it. I actually think I'm more suited to military life than some girls because I like traveling and am very adaptable. I'm don't cling to my surroundings or need a ton of friends. But I don't want our relationship to hold each other back from any positive growth or career and education opportunities. I'm getting my undergraduate degree right now, and I want to go to graduate school. \n\nShould we stick it out, and work seriously towards making a life together and getting married young (more common in the military)? Should we just date casually and not think about the future yet? Or take a break or break up permanently to expand our horizons? \n\nI'm really torn, I don't want to throw away what we have and lose my best friend, but I don't know if military life is what I want, or if a girlfriend or wife is what he needs.", "summary": "My boyfriend of a year and a half is leaving for the army and people are telling us to break up. We don't want to but I'm torn over whether it's the right decision."} {"id": "t3_4gfssm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21M] girlfriend [20F] has me confused beyond belief and I don't have a clue how to fix it", "post": "I have been dating my girlfriend for approximately 3 years, since our junior year in high school. We're now in our sophomore year of college, and are at the end of our ropes. We both love each other and don't want to spend our futures with anyone else, but she goes to school states away while I work and go to school at home. The past few months something has been off, and we have been trying to work on it.\n\nThe problem really can't be anything other than the distance, as everything is fine when we're together, but when she goes back away she gets this really odd attitude. She's very transparent and I know for a fact she's not cheating on me and the problem isn't the other guys and seeing room to grow, she has told me this repeatedly. It's strictly the distance when we're apart.\nThe other day she called me and said she was somewhere in between wanting to go on a break till she's home in May and ending it completely because the distance was just too much. She was in tears mostly because neither of us can realistically see a future with anyone else and both our families love the two of us, respectively. I woke up today feeling more empty and lost than I knew was possible, and I don't know where to go without her. I need to know how to fix the problem because I have given this relationship my absolute all and to think that there's anything else I could do is ridiculous. I don't have a clue what to do but I know we both want this to work out, it's like we both know we found the perfect person, just at a shitty time.", "summary": "Girlfriend thinks the distance is too much and we both found the right person at the wrong time. How to not let her become the one who got away."} {"id": "t3_21fbn5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "BF[M35, 1 year] and his longtime friend [M40s?] are in a spat and I[F25] may have some light to shed.", "post": "Hi Reddit, \n\nBit of a silly situation here so I will try to explain briefly. The guy I'm seeing, Dan, has a longtime (20-years) friend from school -- \"Mike\". They get along and work at the same company, but lately his friend has been acting kind of strange to him -- including sending him some out-of-the-blue, bitter-sounding text message rants and just generally seeming resentful and put out about everything.\n\nMy BF showed me these messages but only briefly, to ask my advice on how to handle the situation. I was a bit perplexed. There's nothing specific that prompts them, they just have the tone of someone who is...well...butthurt. It's only happened twice in last few months and then things get 'back to normal' between them.\n\nHowever, I got a call from another friend of theirs at work who asked me if I had been giving Mike friend any romantic interest, because he had been 'making inquiries' about me, such as asking about my age and if there was anything between us!! I was shocked. I briefly worked at the same company but in a different department than both of them, so he does know who I am. But we have only interacted socially at my BF's birthday party with my BF around, we have never hung out alone, never added on FB, never texted, etc etc. I would say we do not know each other well.\n\nI hesitate to tell my BF the situation, because it sounds like so much gossip, and if it's not true, it will bust up their 20-year friendship. The person who relayed this information to me is a bit of a gossip lover himself. Should I say \"hey babe, this info may have to do with why his nose is out of joint?\" Or should I just say nothing in case it's a misconstrued rumour? I am positive I have never done anything to lead this guy on. I feel like I'm playing broken telephone....sigh. Very silly.\n\nFeedback appreciated!", "summary": "Grapevine says that my BF's longtime friend is interested in me. This may explain their random fights, but may also just be gossip. Should I share the information or not?"} {"id": "t3_30bt2g", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I[18M] cannot speak to my love interest/best friend[16F]anymore what should i do?", "post": "So there is this girl that i met,we met on tinder 3 months ago and we've been together for 2 months and a half,we broke up almost a month ago but she wanted to stay best friends\n\nAt first i couldn't take the emotions in fact i even wanted to take my life but i didn't,we used to text eachother all the time like when something happened to her i was the first to know and likewise,even after the breakup it stayed like that.\n\nThis girl used to have a psychiatrist and was the worst experience of her life she said,now on monday she came home from school and her parents forbade her to talk to me because our friendship was going to lead to nowhere and that me and her have too many problems and that if she did not stop she would bring her back to the psychiatrist.\n\nHer mother thinks i'm one of those freaks from online dating that will kidnap her daughter and rape her even if we already met.\nIt's been 2 days since this happened and i miss her terribly,i want to know how she's doing how her day's been i want to talk about stuff to her..i don't really know what to do.", "summary": "Can't speak to my Ex girlfriend/Bestfriend anymore because of her parents but i miss her so much,what should i do?"} {"id": "t3_3vcwod", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25M] with my girlfriend [24F] of 2.5 years, she's going as a friends date to his christmas party...", "post": "My girlfriend has been asked by a mutual friend of ours (25M) to accompany him to his staff christmas party later this month. Normally I would be alright with it but this is a bit different in my mind. \n\nWe have both been friends with this person for a long while, longer than our relationship. My SO and myself were friends for years before we decided to have a relationship as well. The thing is with this guy is that he's a scumbag, I have cut ties with him an no longer friends for the most part but she continues to talk and hang out with him regularly. He has just done a lot of questionable things in the past, such as going to Europe and while on vacation he told every woman that he came across that his fiance was murdered back home and gave them a big sob story to get himself laid. Little did they know that she was alive and well, just getting cheated on. Their relationship has been over for a year now. \n\nIt makes me quite uncomfortable that she is going to a huge party with him as he does not seem like someone to be trusted anymore. To add icing on the cake, they used to fuck back in the day and he has professed his love to her as well as to me about her back then, but not in recent years. He has also been talking to her over the last two weeks about how lonely he is and how miserable he is.. Maybe if he wasn't such a piece of shit and treated women better they wouldn't continue to leave him.\n\nShe has not come home from work yet so we haven't had time to talk it over but I was just reaching out for some advice... Personally I have quite a problem with it and wish that she wouldn't go but she really wants too and it sounds like she will be. Now she's talking about going out to buy a new dress and looking into getting contacts so she can get all dolled up and go out without her glasses... she didn't want any of these things when I asked her to my Christmas party last week. Maybe I'm just looking in to it too much...", "summary": "Girlfriend of almost three years is going to a male friends Christmas staff party as his date, they used to sleep together and he was madly in love with her. I don't want her to go, she does."} {"id": "t3_1gpkf3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[21F] bf [22M] is lonely and generally not happy because of his internship. How do I support him and make him feel better.", "post": "My bf, of a year and a half, had to move over 3 hours from his family, and 2.5 hours from me this summer for an internship. He took the internship only because it looks good for graduate school to have some related experience. So far he has been pretty miserable there, except for when I came to visit. He doesn't get a lot of work to do so he just wastes a lot of time during the day( his work comp doesnt even have a headphone jack so he cant watch movies/tv or listen to music to pass the time), he doesnt work with anyone his own age, and really only works with a handful of people in general. The little work he does do is boring and tedious, and is not at all what he wants to do. \n\nThe people in his apartment building seem to keep to themselves and dont really seem like the type of people that he would be friends with anyway. So his work sucks and has no friends around after work. Also he doesnt have a car so he can't even drive anywhere to get away from the small boring town he lives in. \n\nI try to be positive and be available to talk often, last week I even sent to him romanticish email about my feelings for hims, just for something different. But he still seems kinda depressed. It also doesnt help that he was sick yesterday and his internet often goes out. I know its only for a few months but I feel like hes pretty lonely and bored 95% of his days there.", "summary": "bf is bored and lonely in a new small town, and strongly dislikes his job. Is there anything I can say or do to make him feel better?"} {"id": "t3_3yzomy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (20s F) and partner of 2 years (M, 20s) having rough spot, expecting house guest", "post": "My partner and I (who cohabitate) have been having a rougher than usual patch in our relationship due to a lot of work stresses, grad school applications, and financial issues. Months ago we promised a friend from college who's been going through their own personal issues they could stay with us while working on a short-term (month-long) project in our city. No details were ironed out until a few days ago when they contacted us asking for a ride from the airport tomorrow. \n\nOur stresses are about to reach a fever pitch and this friend is coming in tomorrow. Problem is, I've been sleeping in our guest room for two days now. I'm terrified that our relationship that is already dangling by a thread will be totally destroyed with this extra person around who does not have a car nor is able to help contribute financially. Partner is threatening to get an apartment just so that he can focus adequately on what he needs to do, AKA resting (we're both in the middle of super crazy, i.e. 80-90 hour work weeks until february) and applying to grad school.\n\nHe's currently in the other room waiting for me to come up with a solution. I don't know what to do here... Our friend is in the middle of really hectic times with their own life. Our college is less than an hour away and a former professor of ours is working on the project with our friend. I don't know if I should call and beg him to help or what... OR even offer to pay for a room for our friend to stay in our college town, which I can't really afford since we're having our own financial issues. But I don't want our friend to feel abandoned.... But I can't lose my partner over this. I've messed up enough things in our life recently and got him to not take a good job offer somewhere else with the promise that our home life would get less stressful and thus far have not been able to deliver.\n\nHelp!!", "summary": "partner and I are in rough patch, I'm sleeping in guest room, we have a friend coming TOMORROW to stay for a month theoretically."} {"id": "t3_31x23z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my ex girlfriend [18 F] after a year and two months have been broken up since early this March, I broke up with her and regret it", "post": "... and now she has a new boyfriend. They've been dating for around two weeks. She told me she's going to love him more than she she loved me, and that they've been talking about moving in together, family, marriage. I know this sounds crazy because she is crazy, and her craziness is part of why I love her.\n\nI've found after a few weeks of being single that I'm still in love with her and would like to get back together with her. I want to believe that she's doing all this to make me upset and jealous, but if that was the case wouldn't she just take me back?\n\nAs to why I broke up with her, I had just turned 21 and wanted more time to go out with my friends to bars and such and not be tied down by her. After doing the bachelor nights out thing I've realized it's not that great.\n\nShe had texted me several times and I thought I had done her favor by ignoring her, helping her get over me. As recently as two days before the new relationship started she was texting and telling me that thinking about us kept her up at night. Now it seems I've shot myself in the foot by ignoring her.\n\nWe had a fairly stable relationship, and I can't help but feel I left out of my own selfishness.", "summary": "I want to get back together with my ex but she has a new boyfriend who she seems way too committed to way too fast. What's my best course of action?"} {"id": "t3_ei1je", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "IMA girl that found out her parents are swingers.", "post": "I found out that my parents are swingers ( a couple that has sex with other couples) about a year ago (I am 18 now.) My boyfriend accidentally found their profile on a swinger website. I learned that my mom is bi-sexual, and many other things a child does not need to know about their parents. They go to these parties with this special swinging group at least once a month, and I've met the people that attend these parties. I now cannot help but feel awkward about all this. They do not know that I know, and I don't think if it's appropriate for me to tell them that I know (It is their sex life, not mine.). I just don't know how to really handle it. Any help/advice?", "summary": "I found out my parents are swingers and I'm having a hard time not feeling really weird about it. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2o7eik", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22F] In long-distance relationship with [25M]. He wants to get a FWB until I can move closer, not sure what to do...", "post": "I'm in a very odd long-distance relationship. We've known each other for 3 years now and finally got to meet recently. Things didn't get semi serious until a few months ago, due to us living in other states and other things that made things difficult. The most current being I'm stuck in a lease with my ex until April. \n\nIn either case, while we aren't technically together right now, I feel very strongly for him and he knows this. I'm working on getting to the point that I feel okay moving to another state and leaving all I know behind, simply because I want to be with him. However this can't happen until my lease is up even if I feel mentally able to handle the move next month. \n\nRecently he asked me if I would be okay with him getting a friend with benefits until I could relocate. I didn't know what to say, but it made me feel sick. I told him I don't know how I feel about it, and that I don't want to know about it if it happens but now it's all I can think about. My depression I've felt since coming back home from visiting him has increased greatly and I can't stop worrying about him sleeping with someone else. He said it wouldn't be anything more than sex and that he's set on being with me once I can relocate, but I'm so afraid that his just for sex fling until I can be there will turn into more. And I'm worried that even if he doesn't end up sleeping with anyone, I'll subconsciously hold it against him because I told him not to tell me if he did so I'll assume he did when he didn't. \n\nAm I being selfish for not wanting him to sleep with anyone else even though he can't sleep with me and we aren't technically together?", "summary": "long-distance, semi serious \"boyfriend\" wants to sleep with others until I'm there. I don't think I can handle that and am worried it makes me selfish."} {"id": "t3_chnre", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What are some subtle but effective ways to gain positive attention from shy men?", "post": "I have tried the obvious: eye contact, coy smile, dressing nicely. I make jokes and laugh at jokes. I am female and not unattractive. I'm confident sometimes but shy and tastefully flirtatious for the most part. Truthfully, I get plenty of attention from men at parties and social gatherings. But of course the one guy who I have an interest in doesn't respond to anything I do. \n\nThis guy is sort of shy, and I think he enjoys the eye contact and half smiles we send each other, but I want to take it further without seeming too forward. In other words, I want to flirt enough to provoke him to make a move. \n\nSo what should I try, Reddit? I am not a slut, and getting him drunk won't work (we have been drunk together before... didn't help). I prefer to be reserved and playful... but how do you get men to notice that?", "summary": "Not a skank but want to get more attention from a certain guy. I want to flirt enough to get him to make the first move. What are some effective tactics? "} {"id": "t3_2gk6ud", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28M] with my GF [26F], her ex wants to send her a potentially inappropriate gift he bought when they were dating", "post": "Okay, so this is a really weird situation. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, and things have been really great so far. She tells me the other day that she was talking to her ex. I'm fine with this, they broke up a couple of years ago, they're not super close but have stayed in touch. He's moving across the country in a couple months and has been cleaning out his house/packing up his stuff. He came across a gift he bought her when they were dating but I guess forgot to give her. It's a sex toy. Some fancy vibrator or something. So he tells her about this, basically \"hey, this is pretty random but I found a gift I bought for you when we were dating, I totally forgot about it. It's a really nice vibrator. do you want me to mail it to you before I move?\" \n \n \nMy GF showed me the conversation that night and it doesn't seem flirty or anything. I think he honestly just found this gift he forgot about and didn't want to throw it out because it's expensive. She responded with something like \"yeah that is really random, I don't know how I feel about that, I'm going to think about it and get back to you\". And she asked what I thought. I told her that it seemed super weird, I mean, really? Getting a sex toy from your ex? She said yeah, she agreed, but it's not like there's any feelings between any of them or any romantic intent, and apparently this thing is really expensive and nice. She doesn't really have any sex toys herself. \n \nI can tell that she wants to accept it, but I feel weird about it. I don't want to tell her not to do it because I don't want to be that controlling person. I'm also not sure if I'm overreacting or not. What do I do?", "summary": "GF's ex wants to send her a sex-toy he bought her when they were dating. No feelings between them. I still feel weird about it and am not sure how to react."} {"id": "t3_ktnb6", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Can't get enough calories?", "post": "I've got dilemma I'm trying to figure out. I've got a little bit of a strange issue I've not seen addressed here. \n\nI've got a little bit of gallbladder trouble and my doctor has recommended I stay under 10 grams of fat because of it. In addition, he told me I needed to get off my ass and lose some weight or my gallbladder was going to decide to leave. I'm sort of attached to my gallbladder and I've been meaning to lose weight anyway, so it's time to start tracking my meals for real.\n\nI joined a gym and started working out and tracking my calories, shooting for 1400 / day. My problem is, especially on days when I work out, MyFitnessPal lets me know that I'm *short* on calories by a lot. It's 9:00 pm here... I'm not hungry and I'm at 866 net calories for the day (1327 food - 428 workout).\n\nI'd like to get my calories more toward the protein side of things rather than carbing up. Any suggestions on food? Anyone else have this problem of not being able to eat enough? Stuff I've read suggests anything below 1200 net for the day is kinda bad news, but I don't know how true this is. \n\nAny advice is appreciated.", "summary": "I'm having trouble getting to 1400 net calories per day while staying under 10 grams fat. Additionally some days I just don't feel hungry enough to get there. Don't want to load up on carbs."} {"id": "t3_3v5ihz", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "[Help] I need help with a dog that's angry at me, and worried he may hurt me", "post": "So here is the story: I come every day to my grandma's house, she has two female dogs (they are some mixture between Labrador and other breed) and they always loved me very much. Everyday I get in the house they happily run to welcome me (I think it is important to note that I am the one who feed and bathe them), and I always pet them in the belly, since they like it so much they lay down with the belly up asking for it.\n\nBut a few weeks ago, my grandpa brought another dog for protection, very big and strong, I believe he is a pure Labrador. That's when the problem started, because since I'm a crazy dog person, I started petting him and calling him cute stupid names as soon as I saw him, and he seemed ok about it. I was thinking like \"hell yeah, I'm gaining his trust!\". So I decided to pet him in the belly like I do with the other two... Oh what a mistake! He immediately showed his teeth and in a millionth of a second he barked and attacked me. I think I have never ran so fast in my life.\n\nAnd since then, he is upset with me. Everytime I come merely close to him he growls or barks angrily at me. He is ok with every family member, even the maid who comes here less than me, and I'm worried some day he will hurt me. \n\nWhat can I do about it? Should I try to connect with him, get closer, or should I stay the hell away until I don't bother him anymore?", "summary": "New big dog came, I tried to pet him in his belly, he got upset and attacked me and now won't let me get close. I ~~want~~ wish to know how can I get him to like me again."} {"id": "t3_rba4n", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Apparently I have \"one of those faces\"... do I look like anyone you know?", "post": "So I get \"do I know you from somewhere?\" or \"I have a friend/granddaughter/ex who looks EXACTLY like you\" from strangers on a regular basis. Happened daily when I was a cashier and, you know, was forced to interact with people (hurray for social anxiety). I do realize that these could be variations of a common pick-up line, but I'm positive that that's not the case 99.9% of the time.\n\nThe thing is, it drives me CRAZY, because never once has anyone produced a photograph of my supposed doppelg\u00e4nger(s)... and therefore I never know how to take it. I also have no real concept of what I look like to other people; my face seems to change from mirror to mirror and picture to picture. \n\nTherefore, I'm asking you Redditors if I look like anyone you know, on the off-chance that someone can finally provide me with a photograph (with its subject's permission, of course). \n\nDo I really have a long-lost twin out there somewhere? And would I be flattered or insulted (or neutral) to find out what *she* looked like?", "summary": "apparently I have an unrealistic number of doppelg\u00e4ngers. Do you know any of them? "} {"id": "t3_3mdfah", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "They arrested me for crimes I didn't commit, dropped the charges, but the aftermath is screwing me over. What can I do?", "post": "Created a throwaway because my real username includes my last name in it. So anyway this happened in Appleton, WI back in 2010. I was arrested for assault and battery and two burglaries that had occurred in a nearby town. After hours of interrogation (I had no idea what the hell they were talking about and kept repeating this) they finally took my fingerprints, snapped my mugshot, and shipped me off to the county jail. I was in jail for 2 days before they released me, because WOW, turns out they had the wrong guy!\n\nThe real guy was finally arrested. It's crazy but he and I could pass as brothers. We're the same height, same body weight, same black hair and green eyes. We're even the same age. So yeah I can see how sloppy police work ended up in them wrongfully arresting me.\n\nSince then there has been an article published about my arrest and what I was being charged with. My arrest record and mugshots are all over the internet when you Google my name. The newspaper that originally published the story on my arrest later updated with a new story stating all charges had been dropped against me and the real suspect was in custody. However, all the 3rd party websites that republished the newspaper's original article don't have the updated story, so it still looks like I'm the guilty one. I've been let go from jobs after people Googled my name and found these stories and records online. I don't know what to do to get this fixed. I don't want to pay $500 for some service that may or may not remove my online records.\n\nIf you run a background check on me with my SSN or check the circuit court website, I have a clean record. But if you just Google my name, you see my arrest record from 2010, my mugshot, and the accommodating articles. Is there ANYTHING I can do about this? It's screwing up employment opportunities for me as well as the potential to move into management. No jokes, I had an old employer tell me he couldn't promote me because as a manager I would be dealing with clients all the time and he didn't want people dropping their accounts when they looked up my name.", "summary": "I was arrested for crimes I didn't commit, charges were dropped, but my arrest record, mugshots, and online articles about the arrest are still circulating the internet."} {"id": "t3_4tzchq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girl [17F] from school recently started contacting me [18M]. Does she like me? How do I deal with this?", "post": "So the story goes like this: \nI've known this girl since 7th grade. At first we were in the same class, later we only had some courses together. We weren't super close, but we talked occasionally and sometimes hung out together, mostly with other people around. \nShe usually is pretty shy and in no way did I ever get the impression that she was romantically interested in me or anyone else for that matter.\n\nLast week we both graduated. Since then I haven't really seen her, but she started texting me almost every day, asking me how I am doing, what I am doing over the Summer, jokingly inviting herself over to my place, yaddi-yadda. All of this came extremely unexpectedly for me.\n\nI believe it's rather obvious she seems to have a crush on me or something, but she hasn't explicitly asked me on a date yet. I think she's nice and all, but never really thought about her that way. How do I deal with this?", "summary": "Girl from school starts texting me, I have reason to assume she likes me. I don't really feel for her, how do I deal with this?"} {"id": "t3_386pj6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 21 M with my girlfriend [21 F] of 3 years, and i broke up because i subconciously wanted something new.", "post": "Names: Jessica (Ex); Michelle (Current GF)\n\nI was with Jessica for over 3 years and i broke up with her because i started feeling like the relationship was gradually falling. I became friends with Michelle that was alot of fun and i enjoyed being with and going out with and ended up asking her out after a drunken night as payback because i was angry at Jessica. Slowly she started sleeping over and then gradually moved in by herself without me telling her to move in. Its gotten to the point that i really do not wanna be with her and i want to get back with Jessica. she knows this and wants to get back with me as well but i cant kick this girl out of my house. i try over and over and she ends up coming back in because im too \"soft\" i guess you can say. I miss Jessica so much and i really want HER to be with me. Its been about 6 months that i've been with Michelle and i want it to end for good but i really do not want to hurt her cause she ends up crying and i give in... what can i do? One and for all.", "summary": "Broke up with my girfriend for a new girl, she now lives with me and i cant get rid of her to get back with my ex! What can i do?"} {"id": "t3_1jbgs8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[23/F] am ruining my relationship with my [27/M] boyfriend.", "post": "I'll start off by saying that I'm a long time sufferer of depression and have bi-polar disorder and occasionally suffer from auditory hallucinations. I've been on medication for a while now and have been seeing a therapist and neurologist and was actually meant to be institutionalized. I was already depressed before I met and started dating my boyfriend, which was 6 years ago.\n\nOver the last 6 months, my condition has consumed my life and it's taken a huge toll on my relationship. Due to my insecurities about myself, somehow I got it in my head that my SO was cheating on me and I would find myself accusing him and berating him and even made up an 'imaginary' him from the past which he was suddenly acting different from. During this time, he also lost his job and that made things doubly stressful. This last weekend, I actually had an epiphany and realised that I'm wrong and he's not different at all, except in the fact that if we fight one more time, he has already said that the relationship will be over. We made up, I cried and apologized profusely and things feel a little shaky since then.\nI don't know if I've outgrown the relationship since we've been together for so long or if this is normal (it's my first real long term relationship) but we feel more like best friends than lovers lately. We goof around all the time together and the loving, romantic side of the relationship feels like a distant memory.\n\nI'm 100% positive that I love this man and I want to be with him for the rest of my life and I'm ashamed of myself for the way I've treated him. Making a long story short, Reddit, I want your advice on how I can revive those feelings (if it's possible?) and make him and myself fall head over heels for each other again.", "summary": "Treated my boyfriend of 6 years like shit for the last 6 months. Looking for [serious] and grown up advice on reigniting the flame and reconciling."} {"id": "t3_30m929", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Is it bad to not eat?", "post": "F, 56, SW 195, CW 173, GW 130. My old weekend habit was get up, drink coffee, not eat till dinner, because I didn't get hungry if I didn't eat to begin with. Not a weight loss strategy- just not hungry. So- I've been faithfully following my meal plan for - I guess six weeks, including breakfast, snack, lunch, snack if particularly hungry before going running, dinner. Now today, I slept super-late, till 10, have been running around, drank a couple cups of coffee- am about to start a lengthy snake feeding, and- I'm not hungry. Should I eat anyway? I recently read about the importance of an overnight fast; is it bad to extend that to late afternoon, occasionally?", "summary": "I woke up and don't feel like eating breakfast or lunch. I'm not hungry. Should I eat anyway?"} {"id": "t3_1xezhe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18f] just found out that my ex [18m] is doing cocaine.", "post": "I'm shocked and not quite sure how to deal with this. His best friend (also a good friend of mine) texted me and told me that my ex is into cocaine now, and that he's been asking our other high school friends to do it with him.\n\nWe broke up last September after a year long relationship because our colleges are very far apart. I'm over the fact that we broke up but he was my first love and I still care about him in some way. I don't want him to throw his life away. He has depression and I know the coke will only make it permanently worse the longer he uses it. Also, we hooked up several times over Thanksgiving and Christmas break. He seemed completely normal over Thanksgiving and a little \"off\" during Christmas. He promised me both breaks that he hadn't slept with anyone else, but he also said that the party scene at his school wasn't that great. Obviously if cocaine is readily available, the party scene isn't as dead as he made it sound! Should I get myself tested for STDs? Should I try to get him to stop or talk to his best friend about convincing him?", "summary": "My ex is doing cocaine and I'm shocked and don't know how to react. I still care about him in some way as he was my first love. I don't want him throwing his life away when we're so young."} {"id": "t3_4zn3ok", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24M] with my Girlfriend [23F] almost three years, she wants to move in with me while I am in law school", "post": "So I will be going to Law School in the next year, and for most of undergrad I was able to live at home to save money. My girlfriend and I have been together for two and a half years. Lately she has been really pushing for us to move in together when I go to law school.\n\nI am not opposed to the whole thing, but there are certain circumstances that pertain to my situation. She works full time and goes to school full time. In law school I will barely be able to work, and the bar association has strict rules for law students as far as how much they can work, so she will be the one providing the majority of the finances. My parents also told me that they would help me out. She told me that she would support me to accomplish my dream of going to law school.\n\nAs with any school financial situation, student loans do not have to be paid on while in school, so that is not an immediate financial issue. Basically, I find it flattering that someone is willing to support me to accomplish my dream, but I do not want to place that burden on someone else. I do realize my parents have been helping me out, and my girlfriend and I have been together for almost three years, but the whole situation would be an immense amount of trust.", "summary": "Should I pull the trigger and move in or should I stay at home? Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated on this because I keep going back and forth in my head on this issue."} {"id": "t3_1r3t1k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Not sure if I should feel guilty...", "post": "I've (F30) been in a relationship with a great person (M31) for a while now (close to a year). \n\n3 weeks after we got drinks for the first time, I was at a bar and made out with an acquaintance. We were not exclusive at this point and had seen each other 4 or 5 times prior to this. \n\nBefore this I was in a really bad relationship for a few years and had spent the last 3 being single and casually dating, so this wasn't brand new \"behavior\" on my part. I normally had 1 or 2 people in my rotation. For context's sake I was always open and honest with people about my expectations and a lot of fun times were had by everyone involved and there were never any hard feelings when things were over. \n\nOn the upside this make out made me realize I didn't want to do the casual thing anymore, that I wanted to see if something serious could happen with this person and it did and now I'm very happy. \n\nBut recently I've been thinking about that incident. I know I didn't cheat, I didn't even know if I wanted to seriously date yet (but after the make out I knew that I wanted to explore that) and we didn't have the exclusivity talk till 3 months later. I also have never asked if my SO had been seeing anyone else in those first few weeks and to be honest I really don't care to know. I also never told them this happened because we were still getting to know each other casually and it hasn't really crossed my mind again until now.\n\nSo all this being said, why do I feel rotten about it? I know that logically I didn't do anything wrong but I still feel scummy.", "summary": "Kissed someone else after a few dates 3 months before exclusivity. Feeling like an asshole, should I? Or does this just mean that I'm not a robot with no feelings."} {"id": "t3_2hnv53", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend[18F] of 2.5 years: How do I get her to be less shy?", "post": "To put it simply, we have been going out for almost three years, and she still can't even say she loves me if anyone can hear. I have talked to her about it, and she said she is working on it. she said this two years ago... This does affect our relationship, I feel like our relationship is some dirty secret, and I don't want that. I don't expect her to full on snog me when her dad can see, but at least hold my hand...\nFirstly, is this too much to ask, and secondly, if not: How can I get her to just me a little less shy?", "summary": "My girlfriend is so shy, she can't even hold my hand if anyone can see. How can I get her to be just a little less shy? (It doesn't help to talk to her)"} {"id": "t3_29m0to", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [25M] meeting a co-worker [22F] for a movie, I'm not sure if it's a date but if it is what should I do?", "post": "Honestly I haven't been on a date in a year and a half, and in the past four years I've only had one 3 month relationship and a few failed dates. I'm really nervous and I leave in 30 minutes, so please help me out guys and gals.\n\nI caught her checking me out last week (I was checking her out too) at my new job and yesterday I decided to try to talk to her. Things went great, I sat down and the conversation was very smooth and dare I say it... natural? I got her number and we texted a lot yesterday, and today I saw her again and we chatted some more. My friends at work say it seems like she's into me, and thought I should ask her out, so I was going to ask her out after talking on the phone with her tonight, (which she responded with, \"Yes, I would like that. =)\" but then she hit me up a little bit later asking me if I had plans *tonight*, and when I said no she invited me to the movies with her and her friend (and her friend is bringing someone, apparently). Also when I said \"Hey gorgeous\" through a text today she responded with \"Hi handsome :3\"\n\nSo I'm not sure if this is a date or not. And if it is (or isn't) I'm not sure if I should make a move. She's one of those drop dead gorgeous girls that don't really realize how gorgeous she really is, so I'm super nervous, especially since I haven't been on a date in a while. I keep wondering if I should try to hold her hand, or bump our hands together in the movie, or if I should lift that armrest between us, if I should give her a hug when I leave (or arrive), I just feel like a high school teenager all over again and have no idea what to do.\n\nCrap, I'm taking too long, 25 minutes, hurry!", "summary": "First date in a while, girl seems like she's interested but it's the first time we are hanging out in public (outside of work) so not sure how to flirt/act."} {"id": "t3_3bcdo1", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I make $9/hr and I wish to rent an apartment by next year. How can I make this feasible?", "post": "I've turned eighteen a few months back and now desire the freedom of earning my own money as well as living space. Obviously, there's now way now that I could do that as make too little and do not have two important items (license and car). My current job (retail) was a temp job, but my managers told me that I have been working very hard so I have been guaranteed a position with the store still making $9/hr. There will also be a pay raise to $10 next spring. \n\nThe next step was a car and license, so I'm already on that as I'm set to obtain one this fall. Hopefully, I do not have to spend as much on it; something like $1500-$2000. I don't need a looker, just a vehicle that can transport me from point A to B. \n\nI was approved for a credit card from Capital One (Platinum) which is excellent because I didn't think I would! Yet, the only thing I have done so far is tie my bills to it and that is it. I hope to have a high enough credit score by next summer. \n\nFinally, I'm enrolled for college as an economics and finance major but will take premed classes for medical school. Some people will try to argue that its better for me to major in a science field but I was told to major in what I like, not what looks good.", "summary": "I have a credit card, a decent job, on my way to obtain a car and license, and plan to go to med school after college. What is some advice you may have for a person to achieve this goal?"} {"id": "t3_4h39c1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25F] boyfriend [28M] doesn't like birthdays.", "post": "My boyfriend of a year doesn't like birthdays, especially birthday parties. He loves parties but doesn't like them when he is the center of attention. He doesn't like photos where he's the center of attention. When we first started dating, he refused to even tell me when his birthday was until I finally prodded it out of him.\n\nI come from a background where birthdays were the one time in my life where I got what I wanted. I had a party, got to eat the food I liked, and even got presents that I actually wanted. It was such a rarity that I always get excited on my birthday. My boyfriend loves contributing to my birthday, and has contributed to cooking me the food and cake that I like and attending my parties with me. He even showers me with gifts.\n\nHis birthday is a bit away. Last year I made him this ice cream cake that he wanted and got him a small present that he opened in private. I also had his friends over while they were unaware it was his birthday to have a small dinner get-together, and he seemed content with that. Eventually, however, they discovered it was his birthday when his mom posted on facebook so it became a birthday party and he got really uncomfortable.\n\nI don't want to steamroll him into having a birthday, but I'm also worried that by not acknowledging it at all I'm not showing my appreciation for him. He's the best boyfriend I have ever had, so I don't want to fuck it up. What should I do?", "summary": "Boyfriend doesn't like his birthday because he hates being the center of attention, but he always shows a huge appreciation for me on my birthday. Should I ignore his birthday entirely or do something else?"} {"id": "t3_3zw1ue", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by telling two well dressed guys they look sharp", "post": "OK, so I worked at a British supermarket for a few months stacking shelves and stuff. This one day around Christmas the shop got really busy and I had to go on tills. So I walked down along the long line of tills, looking for a free one, when this guy in front of me let off the loudest trumpet/mini brass brand/one-cheek sneak. I sat down at my till, and that guy was at the back of the queue on the next till. No way I was calling him over, so I pretended do fiddle around with something, waiting for someone to come over who I wouldn't have an awkward transaction with. Finally, these cool looking guys dressed in black \u2014 probably father and son \u2014 came over and started loading the conveyor belt. I mean, they were seriously r/oldschoolcool cool. I thought I'd have some banter with them, so I opened with the first ^^^stupid ^^^stupid ^^^stupid thing that came into my mind: \"you guys are looking sharp, are you going out somewhere?\". The son turned his head away and the father mumbled something. Completely oblivious to what he was about to say I smiled and said \"pardon?\" He repeated: \"we're at a funeral\". ^\"oh ^sorry\". Of course they fucking were, they were fucking wearing all-fucking-black. I looked dead ahead for the rest of the ordeal. Before they left the dad said \"have a good day\". WTF am I supposed to say to that? You too?", "summary": "These cool looking guys came to my till at a supermarket. I told them they looked cool and asked them if they were going somewhere. They were going to a funeral. A little part of my soul died."} {"id": "t3_2f1soq", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by making the right choice", "post": "A couple nights ago I went to a party, and since I don't have my driver's license yet, my mom had to drive me there. The whole car ride to my friend's house she lectured me about not drinking and not doing drugs and whatnot. I patiently waited silently through the whole speech, and as soon as we pulled up, I leaped out of the car and ran inside.\n\nFast forward several hours later.\n\nThe party is ending. I have not followed my mom's instructions like a good little boy, and I am really, really drunk. I'm leaving and walking down the driveway, about to call my mom to pick me up, when one of my friends calls out my name. He's unlocking his car and several others are piling into the rear seats. All of them are drunk as balls, and even though my cognitive abilities are not at full strength, I have the brains to decline and continue walking.\n\nI'm walking down the sidewalk, waiting for my mom to pick up her phone, I hear the start of an engine behind me. I ignore it, and keep walking. Several seconds later, I hear tires screech and think, \"Gee, I hope they don't die on the way home.\" A second after that, the car hits me.\n\nI wake up later in a hospital room, and according to the doctor, I've broken my wrist, hip, both legs, and a couple ribs.", "summary": "I choose not to get into a car driven by an intoxicated friend, get run over by the same car moments later."} {"id": "t3_1zlucb", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "My roommates neglect their baby (IMO)", "post": "I'm typing this on my iPhone. Please pardon any typos. \n\nMy girlfriend and I have two roommates, they being my girlfriend's brother and his fianc\u00e9. She has a 19 month old girl with another man that typically stays at our home about 3-4 nights a week. I work at home and know their routine. They always stay in their bedroom, but I can hear a lot through their walls. The baby usually sleeps till about noon. This is about when I hear her first cry and she will scream bloody murder. For about 45 minutes. I then, every day, hear my girlfriends's brother give a loud \"SHHHHH!\", more crying, and then after he is fed up with shushing her, repeated yells to stop crying. The baby spends 95% of her time in the crib. I know this because their room is too cluttered and full of trash for her to play or even walk and I can hear her banging on her jail cell bars as she screams and gasps for breath. Throughout the day, there are moments of complete silence, which means the baby has cried herself to sleep. After a few hours of silence, the screaming starts again, the yells for her to quiet start again, and more silence. There is no space for playtime in their room and I can hear everything they watch on TV. I know she isn't playing or watching something. My girlfriend and I are the only ones to play with her, and she is a genuinely smart, vocal, and happy baby. When she is with us, there is no screaming but only laughing. Unfortunately, there are only a handful of words, most of which we taught her, and the most frequent being my name. \n\nI decided to rant about this tonight because I just heard him shake the crib and repeatedly yell for her to \"shut up and go to sleep\". It's obvious why she won't sleep. She's been doing that all day, every day. I won't even go into what they must be feeding her. The only thing they ever have in the kitchen is ramen, frozen pizza, and hotdogs.", "summary": "roommates keep baby in crib all day, yell at her when she cries about it, and never interact with her."} {"id": "t3_12p6jl", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "When was a time someone deceived you or your community Reddit? I'll start...", "post": "In my school we just recently had something happen where the school was told that a young boy had leukemia and he was close to dying. One of our football team's players even got to meet him. They talked briefly. Turns out he was a huge fan of our football team, that has been doing really well this year, so we decided to dedicate a football game to him. We even decided to let him do the coin toss. It was his final wish to attend this game. We even planned to release balloons for him during halftime. Unfortunately we got word that he had died the day before the game. People were very upset but the game still went on. About a week later, news comes that someone investigated the kid and found out that he wasn't even real! The whole thing was just a hoax! Our football player had talked with an actor. A paid ten yer old actor. It even ended up on our news (Here's the link:", "summary": "Our school was told about a boy that was close to dying because of leukemia. School took it to heart and became very emotional. Turns out it was a hoax."} {"id": "t3_2slkyb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (23 M) going through a break up with my (24F) girlfriend of 3 years and she wants to remain friends and I'm afraid of being hurt, what do i do?", "post": "We were together for 3 years and both decided to end our relationship last week. She wanted to remain friends and I agreed because we had a clean break with no hard feelings for each other, but now I'm really starting to feel the pain and am realizing I didn't want it to end and I only let her go because I felt she wasn't happy with me.\n\nI'm having a really hard time trying to figure out if i should remain friends with her. I don't know if it would be easier to just cut off all contact and move on or remain friends and hurt myself as I watch the girl I love share the life we had planned together with someone else.", "summary": "I don't know if I should keep in contact and run the risk of only hurting myself or if I should cut my losses and move on."} {"id": "t3_1iyqxw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] is having a hard time whenever my SO [20M] of 1 year is out of town", "post": "A little background. We both live in the same town, not living together though. We've been friends for the last 5 years but only began dating almost a year ago. Neither of us has cheated on the other person. \n\nWhenever he is away from town for a few days I get sad and restless. I don't believe its the sometimes nice feeling of missing someone and its not a trust issue either since I don't believe he will cheat on me.\nI just feel like the loneliest person alive and begin to think about things that makes me depressed and I cry and sleep the most of the time. \n\nIt is really getting on my nerves since I am a very happy and outgoing person on all other occasions. I went to a therapist 8 months ago because my friend almost killed himself but it feels in some way useless to try it for this purpose since im super happy whenever he's close to home which he is most of the time. What should I do?", "summary": "I can't do anything else than cry and sleep whenever my SO is away for a couple of days. How can I change this behavior?"} {"id": "t3_3dm8y5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29M] with my gf [27F] of 9 months, having incompatibility issues in the bedroom.", "post": "My gf and I have been dating for 9 intense months. We've been pretty much living together since day 1, making it official at like 5 months or so. I am definitely in love with her, and we have a great relationship outside the bedroom. In the bedroom, however, we are running into issues. \n\nI was very inexperienced before we started dating, and she was the polar opposite. She was very sexually open, worked at a fetish shop, experimented with polyamory, ect. Since I'm so new to the game, I'm pretty vanilla in the bedroom, and it is starting to get to her. She wants me to be more rough, and include choking/spanking/ect to the routine. \n\nI'm kind of at the place where I'm just looking to explore some new positions and just don't particularly get turned on by the rough stuff. Having said that, making her happy is super important to me, so I'm willing to give it a shot. I've been being generally rougher with her, pulling her hair a bit, spanking while in doggy style, definitely basic stuff. \n\nWhenever I try to do the more hardcore stuff, i.e. choking, it just feels super awkward and I'm very worried I'm going to hurt her. It sometimes has the unfortunate side effect of making me go soft because of the concern. \n\nDoes anyone have any advice on how to get this going, and hopefully make me feel less awkward about it? I honestly just have no idea what I'm doing, and unfortunately she's not much help. Whenever we talk about it, she just says things like \"you just gotta feel it!\" and \"just let loose.\" That gives me nothing to work with, since this inherently isn't in my character as a person. \n\nHow can I effectively do this? Position recommendations? Anything can help!", "summary": "I'm a rookie in the sack with an experienced gf, and I need advice on how to make sex more interesting for her. "} {"id": "t3_21290i", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Can someone explain Lemon Law to me (X-Post from /r/Motorcycles)", "post": "Unfortunately I'm a Georgia resident and our lawmakers decided lemon law statues shouldn't apply to motorcycle consumers. In July '13 I purchased a new Triumph Daytona 675 ABS model and have continually been bent over by constant issues.\n\nIt was first in the shop within a month of purchase for an oil leak. Shortly after (hours/days I forget, but theres paperwork proving) it had to be taken back in because dipshit forgot a crush washer and it was still leaking.\n\nCool, my bike is fixed! Just kidding, coolant leak. This happens about 1-2 months after the initial oil problem. It spends roughly several weeks in the shop over the course of two attempts, and the problem doesn't get fixed properly by them. I give it a crack myself, lo and behold the hose clamp just needed tightened. FUCK YOU.\n\nWell here comes another issue. The bitch just decided to turn off mid ride and throw a check engine light & oil light. There's no need to add any oil, doing so would just overfill it from where it's at. The bike actually doesn't use much oil at all (aside from when it fucking leaked months prior).\n\nThis is going to be it's like uh.. 5th visit or so to the dealer for issues in 8 months. It's already spent somewhere near 2 months in the shop, and going off past experiences it's probably going to spend another 2-3 now, if not longer because riding season is up and going in Georgia.\n\nMy issue is, again, that I am not protected by any state lemon laws. How far does the Magnuson-Moss Warranty Act go? Will a lawyer be able to push for a full refund or compensation with a new machine, or is that entirely off the table due to fucktarded state laws? It's complete bullshit that a bike has to spend 3 months in the shop out of what will be 9 months of ownership by the time that I get it back from the shop.", "summary": "no state lemon laws, will federal lemon law (Magnuson-Moss Warranty Act) be of any use to me, or am I stuck with this heaping pile of problematic rage inducing British fucking shit?"} {"id": "t3_2ggill", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [30 M] logged onto exes facebook [31 F] last night, I am feeling deeply troubled and ashamed about this morning.", "post": "It was not a very serious relationship, only a couple months, with a second week long 'fling' a couple months after splitting. But, she is one of the most refreshing people I've come across in a while, I tend to be pretty picky and when this didnt work out I struggled with it a bit.\n\nBasically I realized I had feelings for her and she did not feel the same, I was doing pretty well with accepting the situation, disappointed and the expected ups and downs the weeks following but I was feeling surprisingly stable and ok, and had sorta even started seeing a new girl which was helping the process of moving on.\n\nAnyway, while we were together she gave me her password to various things, I honestly never made an effort to remember them or anything except one which was very easy to remember that is used for her pandora which I still use on my phone.\n\nI know it's not any excuse but it seems worth mentioning I was drunk. I was listening to pandora and it asked me to confirm the login, which I did. Then i wondered if that was the same login for her facebook. I tried it and it was. I've never been one to invade someones privacy like that, I dont know what I wanted to find or not find, new bf i suppose. I read a couple messages and foruntely she doesnt really use it for messaging and I avoided dealing myself any added mental anguish. I knew what I was doing but i guess I was just riding the impulse to see what i could know. After logging out I couldnt believe I did that, my heart was racing and couldnt sleep after.\n\nThis morning I feel extremely ashamed for doing that to her, I am a 30 year old man and am too old to be playing these types of games with myself. I'm just feeling really awful about myself over it. Not to mention its taken me 12 steps backward in my moving on.\n\nPart of me wants to tell her I did that, and tell her to change the password.", "summary": "I logged into ex's facebook account, poked around,read a couple messages, and feel really ashamed of myself for invading her privacy"} {"id": "t3_4siigu", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "How do I build credit with a starter credit card?", "post": "I posted to PF last week after being rejected for my banks own credit card, due to lack of credit history. Since then I've found a credit card with capital one, with a low credit limit of \u00a3200, which I've opened.\n\nI want to build my credit as safely but also as quickly as possible. When I move house next month I'll be putting some monthly bills in my name which should also help.\n\nHow much should I spend on my CC, I've seen online that more than 30% or more than 50% of your limit as balance can reduce or slow your score, but the amount varies website to website.\n\nI intend to pay off the CC by direct debit from my current account and never let it gather interest. I currently have enough savings and room in my budget that I am not worried about doing this. Is it best to put a small monthly payment like Netflix on it (~\u00a37). Should I put Netflix on the CC and a few small transactions?\n\nI graduate medical school next summer, and to make room for more studying in my final year, have reduced my hours at my part time job. Whilst I'm fine for money now, I'm concerned that I may run short just before I start on my doctors salary, as I'm also expecting to relocate at that time. I have a vague plan than if I can build decent credit for the next 6-10 months I may be able to find a small card with a period of 0% interest to take me to my first paychecks. Have I missed anything there, does that sound like a reasonable plan?", "summary": "how much should I spend on my starter CC, each month (credit limit \u00a3200) to build credit? Should I put Netflix on the CC, random transactions or both?"} {"id": "t3_3rqshv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ex-boyfriend [20] of 3.5 year relationship cries after sex [F21]?", "post": "We ended our 3.5 year relationship two weeks ago but we still see each other every day. Both of us have pretty much just been friends for the last year of our relationship so staying friends now hasn't been a problem. Before we have sex he always reminds me that developing any feelings is just going to be a problem since he likes another girl now. But then after the sex he cries. It's not like it's pathetic when he cries, I just don't understand why this happens. Out of the two of us he's the one who wants to stay broken up the most. He's always trying to be the responsible one and hold off from anything sexual until he just gets naturally worked up from being around me. We've talked about being friends with benefits, since that's essentially what we are already, but it might be too early. The sex has been better than ever since I never really wanted to do it when we were dating. Now that we're over the fact that he's harder to get makes him 100x more attractive to me. Half of our dating issues were about how little sex we had. He gets off twice a day on average so he's normally a very horny person. If I had to guess why he cries it's because he either feels guilty, since he doesn't think with his head when he's worked up, or because maybe the sex brings up some feelings he doesn't want to experience. He doesn't even understand why he feels this way after. Can anyone explain why this happens?", "summary": "Ex-boyfriend and I have casual sex starting days after the breakup, he cries after every time, neither of us understand why."} {"id": "t3_yzt45", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "College Senior with some savings, planning for future.", "post": "Hi there,\n\nI'm starting my senior year in college, and have got a decent chunk of savings from working during breaks/thanks to my (nearly) free tuition. Right now, I've got almost $30,000 saved up. I've accepted a job offer for next year for $100,000/yr, so I will be making a good deal of money and have no debt. \n\nMy parents have said that I could stay at home after I graduate for saving up for house/apartment/whatever if I need to. So, for that first year, I'll have nearly no expenses. I will be working/living in Boston, MA, USA.\n\nMy issue is, I have zero knowledge of anything financial. I don't know what is a good safe place for money, what do do for real estate (buy/rent), how having this money will affect me in terms of tax/what I can do for this?", "summary": "no expenses, has 30k saved, 100k/yr job next year, no financial knowledge, boston, ma. "} {"id": "t3_1vxazv", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17/M] My Girlfriend [15/F] Won't stop talking to her ex and is going to meet up with him!", "post": "I'm [17/M] am worried about my girlfriend [15/F] who is going to meet up with her ex. For the past couple days they've been talking on skype. I actually didn't mind this but the fact she's been talking to him instead of me today hurt a little(yesterday was fine I let it go). She's going to be going to a soccer meet up with her friends on Sunday and apparently her ex is going to be part of the group. After that she says they are all going to go for coffee after. I told her how I feel about this and she says \"Why don't you trust me!\" I'm not sure if it's normal to not trust her around her ex? Or do I just need to trust her and believe that she won't do anything with him(which I don't, but wish i could) I'm confused and need some help.\n\nWe've been dating for 1 month.", "summary": "She's going to meet up with an ex she's been talking to on skype lately. I'm not comfortable with this. What can I do or say to her."} {"id": "t3_ym091", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Visiting a Prospective Puppy this Weekend @ 4 mo. old", "post": "Alright so, this Sunday, I have the opportunity to go check out my potential second dog (Border Collie, working lines). I've never encountered puppies younger than 8 weeks, and I am kind of hoping to \"gel\" with one above the others to make my final decision easier. But! I have read that the ideal time to test these things is at 49 days. Any younger and it *could* change my judgement.\n\nHave any of you had an experience with picking out your pup at 4 weeks, when visiting the litter? Was their behavior and likes/dislikes consistent with what you ended up getting at 8 weeks? I'm not paying attention to looks at all - the only thing I want is a pup who enjoys toys, play, and has a lot of potential drive to tap in to. Ace, my current dog, is aloof and independent, and I have had to overcome a lot of obstacles to get to his current state of biddability!", "summary": "Going to meet possible pup who will be 4 weeks old, this weekend. I will NOT be taking one back home with me - I just want to test the waters for temperament/drive. Can this work?"} {"id": "t3_2w1kpz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [21/F] continue pursuing my romantic interest [26/M] I met online who's sending me mixed signals?", "post": "I have very little dating experience so I decided to join OKCupid a month ago. The men who were messaging me weren't really my type so I decided to initiate contact with men who I found interesting. I eventually landed on an interesting profile a few days afterwards so I left a message. He seemed interested and we got along fairly well. He complimented on my looks and he asked me out to dinner a week later and I agreed that I would. We never discussed further details even though we found out that we lived 15 minutes away from each other. We continued to message on the site until I decided to ask for his number to text him. \n\nI've never been a big texter so I completely understand if people don't want to text back sometimes. When we first started texting, we texted back in forth throughout the day. Eventually it started to dwindle and he would go a day or two without texting me back. He does have a 8-4 weekday job so I do consider that. I thought it was kind of weird how he would continue the conversation 2 days later instead of just starting a new conversation. Regardless, I never sought \"revenge\" on him by texting him back later; I replied when I could.\n\nThe majority of the conversation is made by me. I'm the one who asks the questions and sends funny pictures. He reciporcates occasionally. I always wait for him to reply to send another message. He still hasn't asked to meet in person so I decided to ask him to have a last minute late night meal at a local diner but he refused and said that he was 'unkempt and that it would be a bad first impression'. \n\nHe has dropped hints about meeting up but not as of recently. I'm not emotionally invested in him but I just want to know if I should even bother anymore? He seems like a nice guy but I don't want to be pushy or anything. What should I do?", "summary": "I met a guy online who I am interested in who initially seemed interested in me. We haven't met yet but his communication style has changed and I'm not sure if I should pursue this."} {"id": "t3_4jnz2t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I get my (19M) mother (53F) to stop trivializing my dream job when compared with my brother (22M)?", "post": "I'm a 19 year old student about to start my second college at a state university. My brother graduated last year with a business degree and is going on being an accountant. He's already making a substantial wage, and it's clear that my parents are proud of him. \n\nMeanwhile, I'm attending university to get a degree in teaching history. I went into this knowing that I probably won't make close to what my brother makes, and am totally okay with it. The issue is that my mom won't stop making comments here and there about my future lack of money.\n\nThere have been multiple times where we've been talking, and she's slid in comments about how different my life is going to be if I get a teaching degree. To put in perspective, we're a rather wealthy family with a large house. She is continuing to try to get me to take business classes and switch majors to one that my brother did. I've already told her before that I find it hurtful when she doesn't appreciate what I want to do, and her ver batim answer was that she didn't have to care about what I thought since she and my dad are paying for it.\n\nI've tried asking my dad to talk with her since he is totally fine with what I'm doing, but he doesn't want to start any more issues and basically tells me to do what I want. \n\nIs there any way for me to get her to see that this is what is going to make me happy, money or not, without cutting her entirely out of my personal life?", "summary": "Mother not respecting my dream job, keeps comparing my future earnings to older brother. Want her to stop but she's adamant."} {"id": "t3_1wfkr1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How can i show my girlfreind that driving is okay and that she shouldnt be scared?", "post": "So my girlfriend is 17 and the other day she was rolling up to a traffic light when it turned yellow and the person in front of her slammed on the brakes. She slammed on them too and her car skidded. Luckily shes okay. But now when she has to speed through a yellow light to make it she gets scared. Also shes scared when people get ready to make turns even though she has the right of way. I asked her and she said that shes scared that if something happens her car wont be able to stop in time. \n\nShes coming over thursday and i offered to take her to a parking lot to drive her car and stop short and stuff to show her that her car is okay and will stop shortly if she needs to. Does anyone have any ideas about what tests to do to show her its safe? Thanks guys.", "summary": "Girlfriends scared her car wont stop in time if she needs to slam on brakes, taking her to parking lot to show her that her car will perform, what do i show her?"} {"id": "t3_2hk2ex", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Update: 35lbs. down, first plateau reached", "post": "Hello again /r/loseit, it has been awhile but I have made some good progress since and so I am here to report back and also get some advice on the recent plateau I have reached. \n \n \nSince my last post I am down 20 more lbs. for a total of 35 lbs. since Feb. 2014 (actively dieting and exercising since May 3rd). I have been eating clean and in mid-July, switched out rice, bread, potatoes and corn for fresh greens. Tracking with MFP has definitely helped, though I have not been daily tracking in the last few weeks as my diet remains very consistent. I also changed my exercise routine to incorporate the start bodyweight routine from www.startbodyweight.com \n\n \nI had been making brilliant progress with 2-3 lbs down weekly, until mid-August, which is when I started the new routine. Since then, my weight has stubbornly held on to 255, +/- 2.5 lbs. \n\n \nI have read enough posts/comments to know that gaining while cutting is contentious, but I feel like I am doing that. Underneath it all, I can tell I am changing physique as I am making good progress through the progressions (Oh, hello bicep, it's been a minute! Where did you fall off to?), and my cardio always comes first and I average 40-50 min every session. I transitioned to exercise every other day in late-July, but am currently trying to hit batches of three days in a row (cardio+strength [pulls], cardio+stretching, cardio+strength [push])\n\n \nIf I am indeed cutting and gaining, it does fit with my goals as I have always been big, I don't know if I could actually handle being 170? I would like to see myself down to 210ish/10% BF and then focus on lean muscle gains while continuing cardio training and yoga.", "summary": "I used to be hella fat, now I am less so but still kinda. I stopped losing weight a month ago, but maybe I am gaining muscle mass is why?"} {"id": "t3_19se56", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Girl [26/F] I've [30/M] been dating for 3 months just went NC on me without warning.", "post": "Just as we had recently gotten intimate, we got into a minor argument (she wouldn't let me kiss her because I had a minor cold, which was a new reaction to me so I was taken back but understood). She called me selfish and needy and I said that hurt a bit and it just takes a bit for me to understand at times. She gave me the silent treatment.\n\nAnyhow, she went distant on her texts to eventually deleting me off her buddy list after I emailed her asking what's the matter and if she wanted to end things. I courted her for 3 months and saw her on average of once a week (so her calling me needy was a shocker). I treated her with the utmost respect. Why would a girl do this? She's 26. I was always initiating to go out, but she'd always accept it and it's not like we talked everyday or texted a bunch. \n\nI'm just hurt and in shock right now that she wouldn't even give me a proper goodbye or \"this isn't working out\" spiel. I've been on both sides, but I feel that's the right thing to do. It just feels like everything I put in has been discounted and tossed aside like as if my efforts and my being was trash.", "summary": "i treat this girl with respect and date her for 3 months. she suddenly goes NC without warning and cuts me off completely. why would she go out like this?"} {"id": "t3_ise0p", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, thanks for the idea. I introduced this cookie at work (cookie bakery) and it's now on the menu. Help me name it!", "post": "Like the title says, I currently work in a bakery that creates, bakes, sells, delivers, and ships cookies. The shop is located in a small college town in NW Ohio. Everyday a unique cookie is featured as the 'Cookie of the Day' (CoD). The CoD rotation changes every month. I have viewed several posts on Reddit featuring a chocolate chip and Oreo amalgamation. While fucking around at work today, I decided to bake one. The owner came in, tried it and loved it, so it will be in the CoD rotation for August. I introduced the cookie to my boss, so I need to come up with the name.\nBecause this idea came from Reddit, I figured my fellow Redditors could give me some name suggestions for the cookie.\nHere are some pics I took of my creation today:", "summary": "I baked an Oreo inside of a chocolate chip cookie at work. Boss wants it on the menu. Help me name it."} {"id": "t3_10vfz8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Partner and his ex's. Best way to approach?", "post": "My partner (30 m) of almost 2 years has always kept in touch with his 2 ex girlfriends. He dated each of them for several years, one for more than 6 years, so I (28 f) completely understand wanting to casually stay in touch with someone who shared so much of your life. I'm positive he'd never physically cheat, so it never bothered me. \n\nThis morning I went to plug in his phone and make sure he had an alarm set (as I usually do for him in the morning). When I opened the phone, his conversation with one of them came up as it was obviously one of the last things he'd done before crawling into bed after a night out. I didn't scroll up to see more because that felt like snooping, but what was on the screen was basically along the lines of \"I miss you, and I wish we could still be together\". Earlier in the summer I saw something similar from the other ex where she said something along those lines to him, and chose to ignore it because things were so great with us that I didn't even consider it a problem. \n\nWhen he's talked about them before, it's always with relative fondness but he always emphasized that they weren't right for each other. I even flat out asked one day after such a talk if he felt I was just the next best thing because he couldn't have them. He reassured me that wasn't the case and has shown me he cares for me. \n\nNow I understand I could be misinterpreting. Things are a bit rough right now for him (job changes, extreme financial stress, etc) and probably the pressure is making him miss happier/simpler times in his life, which they would be part of, so I don't want to approach this from a place of anger. \n\nIs it fair to ask him to cut back on his communication with them so he can stay focused on the present? How can I approach him about being more open about what he's feeling and encourage him to use me as his support base instead of them? I'm going to try and have a really open discussion about them again, and I'll come clean about what I saw, but I think I need some advice before I delve into these murky waters.", "summary": "boyfriend's exgirlfriends are haunting me a bit, and while I'm sure he won't cheat, I would like advice on how to approach him do he stops relying on them for emotional support."} {"id": "t3_4kyh6o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] and my ex gf [19 F] of one year, met today. We had a good talk but she's with her ex right now just as friends and that makes me feel some typa way.", "post": "Hi everyone. I just made a reddit account for the express purpose of seeking solace from my emotions from all you good internet people. New to this so if there's anything I can do to format better or clarify please tell me!\n\nSome context!\nMy girlfriend and I have been friends for five years now, started dating a year ago during my senior year of highschool. What made us such close friends made a great relationship too. Had a blast for a year but long distance, (we went to different universities about four hours away from each other), made it a little difficult. Eventually she lost those feelings for me and broke up with me. \n\nThat was a little more than a month ago. I had to skip the grieving because of finals and I could not afford to grieve during that. I made it by with overwhelming support from a lot of friends. We talked today for the first time since then, meeting up to talk and catch up. It was great and I felt like a friendship was possible. \n\nWe said our goodbyes and I went for a run. It's past midnight at this point. (Spontaneous late night running!) Messaging her periodically, I found she was out on a drive with her ex before me, just as friends. I don't doubt her sincerity in it just being a casual chatting thing but that knowledge just tears me apart inside. I know its psychologically wired in us to feel jealousy in these kind of situations but this is breathtakingly painful. For the first time in years I can't handle my own emotions. \n\nI feel like I'm being dramatic. I know that this just needs to run its course. I know logically, this breakup made sense and she's done nothing wrong. Her being with her ex is perfectly fine as well. But why does it hurt so much? What can I do to alleviate it?", "summary": "My ex girlfriend is with her other ex, just as friends. She's done nothing wrong but just that kills me inside. How can I alleviate it?"} {"id": "t3_27wzsc", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/F] been hurt deeply in the past, got better, now scared to jump in too fast with a new guy (22/M)", "post": "Hey y'all, \n\nI guess this all starts with being hurt in the past by guys who broke up with me because \n\n* he literally told me he chose his job over me\n* has other priorities and thinks he's wasting his time\n* wants to casually hook up, not be in a relationship, but still wants to keep me close (in case he changes his mind)\n\nThose were just some of the excuses I've been given. Needless to say I've cut all contact with those jerks, but not before letting things cool down and ask them why they actually broke up. I think I'm pretty laid back and a cool person to date. I'm not clingy, needy, jealous, but I like to get to know the people I'm dating before I get too into things. After seeing a bunch of nutcases for roommates have thriving relationships with their boyfriends, it makes me wonder why it's so difficult for me to hold on to someone. \n\nAnyways, now that you know the thoroughly summarized backstory, I need advice. I've been talking to this guy for a little over a month now and we've been on one date (he's on campus, I'm at home until next week when I will also be on campus). He seems like a great person to date. He's well adjusted, well rounded, capable of having a good conversation, and just a good person in general that I'd love to get closer to. \n\nThe problem is, I feel like I'm going to mess something up and have him turn into one of my exes that doesn't talk to me anymore. I admit, I wear my heart on my sleeve in situations like this, but I've learned to keep to myself. We're just starting out, so does anyone have any solid advice for me on how not to mess things up and have a good shot at a long term relationship that doesn't end in broken hearts?", "summary": "How do I not mess things up with this guy in the beginning of a relationship? Advice from people in successful relationships?"} {"id": "t3_3uwim6", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "My Dad is bailing on child support and I need to know what I can do (California)", "post": "I'm not the best writer and I'm a little panicked so please bear with me. I live in central California with my 13 year old brother and my parents. In March of this year my dad moved out after he was caught cheating, and has since refused to pay any child support other than the bare minimum required to keep us off the street. I was living at home to save money while attending community college which I've paid for completely myself, and when he moved I was forced to quit school to work full time to help support my family. I make 1500 a month and my mom makes less than that and we're struggling to stay afloat. \n\nMy father has a history of beating me, threatening us, and we've caught him stalking us in the middle of the night several times. No one will let us take out a restraining order on him. His threats are all very carefully worded and not direct enough to take action on. \nNow we've filed paperwork to get him to pay what he owes my mother and brother (I don't want any of his money, im 21 and im trapped here essentially) and he told me he's going to disappear and work under the table because he \"won't handle the burden of his children\". What can I do? My mother is not the brightest and easily scared and I only have a small amount of time to act before he disappears. He's done this before to an ex wife and my three half sisters. Please someone help I'm not seasoned in life enough to handle this myself.", "summary": "My dad is disappearing so he doesn't have to pay child support and I need advice on how to get it for my family so I can move out and have my own life."} {"id": "t3_3gih8z", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "2 Herniated and one bulging disc", "post": "a little over year ago I herniated two discs in my back and one disc is bulging (I forgot the technical name for the discs, but its like around the tail bone area... I think L3 was one of them).. went to physical therapy all first semester, started getting injections around Dec. and had my last injection in January. Everything started getting better, pain started decreasing and all was good. Fast forward to this summer, started doing manual labor. Back has been holding up. Had one day of chronic pain, but it went away. However, last Friday I pulled 2 carts weighing probably 200 lbs each. Felt fine afterward. End of the day on Friday, I drove 3 hrs home to get furniture to move into my new house... Sat. morning I went downstairs and started loading furniture with my dad (easy lifting, lifted with proper form).. however started getting a pins and needles sensation in my upper back that finally went away today, but whenever I stood up or turned a little bit while sitting, this pain shot through my upper back. It felt like 1,000 ants biting me... it sucked... 10/10 pain for sure... I've also had pens and needles sensations in my legs and feet and sometimes arms.\n\n**Main question is why is the pain traveling to my upper back now?", "summary": "Herniated discs last summer in lower back; started summer manual labor job; pulled 2 200lb carts... drove home Friday; started loading furniture in my car on Saturday; pens and needles in my upper back"} {"id": "t3_2up3xs", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Anyone experience heart/chest spasms while running?", "post": "I'm a 31yr old female runner, been running since I was about 12yrs old. In the last few years I have been experiencing what I can only describe as a sort of spasm on my heart? Or at least it feels like it. It does not hurt, it just feels like my heart is skipping a beat while I'm running, and I do not get dizzy or short of breath or anything, just the uncomfortable spasm. In the past, it would happen once or twice during a run, but today, in the first two miles, it happened several times in a row. I just slowed down a bit, and eventually it stopped. I only finished 4 miles today, as I was concerned with maybe i'm pushing myself too hard? I dropped 7lbs since Christmas (125 to 118) and have been trying to get back down to between 110-115. (I'm 5'2 so this is normal weight for me) I've been on the verge of overweight for the last 2yrs, kind of just keeping it in check because my husband and I were trying to conceive for a while, and so I wasn't running as much, and was taking hormone shots, and blah blah blah.", "summary": "Heart spasms while running that feel like heart is skipping a beat become more prevalent. Anyone experience or know what this is?"} {"id": "t3_4nwjsv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (27F) feeling lost and alone and just looking for some words of encouragement.", "post": "Hi all...longtime lurker but I finally created an account because I'm having trouble moving on. My (recently ex) bf (32 m) has broken up with me. This was our second go around; we dated briefly before i went to grad school and then 2 years later he says he realizes im the love of his life. I'm feeling so silly for actually believing everything that he promised me (he would take care of me, build me a house, blah blah blah, generally just be more supportive and stable). He works in the union and is a hard worker and has such a big heart. This break up kind of came out of no where. He seemed more distant the past 2 days but nothing I didn't think we could work on. Now I'm just trying to be okay alone and it's surprisingly way more tough than I expected. I'm constantly trying to figure out where it went wrong and why he didn't want to settle down with me. I can't eat or sleep and can barely make it through work without breaking down. I don't know how to feel better. What's your best advice because I'm hurting so badly now. Already blocked his number, but live in a small town and just worried about running into him.", "summary": "I'm 27 and newly single and my heart hurts. Feeling so alone. How do I start feeling better and have a more optimistic outlook?"} {"id": "t3_5505sb", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Help this restricted child", "post": "Heyo! I wandered over to this lovely subreddit for some help, and advice. \nCurrently, I weigh around 230-238 pounds (can't remember the exact estimate, but this is the around version, about a week since I last got weighed with a proper scale) \n\nRight now, I'm wondering if there's any decent way to lose weight inside. That's right, almost 100% inside. Staying away from a gym too is preferred. \nThe reasons for this:\n-I'm not exactly allowed to go too far from home due to reasons I can't share\n-If I ever do get outside, my options are a trampoline, or chasing two little kids around. Still work, but not all that fun. \n-I'm not an outside person. At all. The only way you'd get me outside is if I absolutely needed/wanted to. (Ex. Sports event, going out to eat with family, playing with siblings, etc.) \n\nWhile many of you may be thinking now \"treadmill, exercise bike, this and that\" \nI'm not exactly wealthy. My family isn't either. I don't own a exercise machine. The closest I have to weights to lift are 2lbs. I can barely do a push-up, let alone a sit-up. \n\nRegarding diets and food I'm eating, I don't want to make the post that long, so I'll just leave that for PM if anyone would like to discuss this with me further. I can't guarantee I'll get to them all if I somehow get spammed though.", "summary": "I'm looking for someone to give me advice on how to lose weight while remaining indoors and away from gyms/outside in general. Also, an insight on how I could improve the things I eat. "} {"id": "t3_3o8oc7", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "Upcoming cat surgery, non-profit assistance possibility questions", "post": "So, a little bit of background story. I was recently laid off from work, the business itself shut down unexpectedly with no forewarning from the owners, and in addition to that I don't expect to receive my final two weeks pay and commission check that I'm due. At the same time frame, I had one cat who suffered an infection of her uterus and needed surgery to remove that. I paid for that up front, and it was only a week before I was laid off. Now I've got a second cat, maybe some of you will remember my post from r/aww at \n\nWell, Cheshire recently developed a limp for his left hind leg, and I brought him to the vet for x-rays. Vet was honest, she didn't know exactly what it was from the x-rays, so they were sent to a radiologist/specialist for review as what she did see was a bone mass density difference between his two hips. Radiologist confirmed same thing, and I was told Cheshire has a condition which is leading to the deterioration of the ball/cap on his leg bone, putting him in massive amounts of pain. Even with the pain killers the vet gave us for the time being, he still growls and limps every time he stands up and walks around. Despite this, he's still being affectionate so I'd think he's trying to stay positive. \n\nNow, after the $1,200 pyometra surgery for one cat, a $300 check/x-rays for Cheshire, the surgery estimate is ~$1,800. My vet was kind enough to volunteer that there is an organization that tries to provide assistance for this kind of situation, and I applied. That was Wednesday the 7th, and as of yet we haven't heard a response. Does anyone have experience with this kind of thing? Maybe chime in with what kind of time frame I could expect? I really don't want to keep Cheshire in this condition, I'd rather get the surgery done ASAP but if I can't get help I'll have to resort to putting the whole thing on a CC and I'm honestly not looking forward to having to pay that interest on it, but if it's what it takes I'll do it.", "summary": "Has anyone had any experience with a non-profit assistance case for an animals surgery? What was the turn-around time on an application, and any other info you might feel like volunteering regarding the process. Thanks!"} {"id": "t3_34hxi1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "FBIL (m/22) and SIL (f/25) say they'll be leaving my (f/25) wedding after a few hours because \"they're going on vacation the next day\" - I admit I'm hurt. How to react?", "post": "Hello Redditors,\nI need a little bit of advice or someone to tell me I'm being silly if I am. I'm getting married next week and I'm absolutely over the moon. However, my future brother in law, my husband's only sibling, has just told us that he will be leaving our wedding reception after the meal as him and his girlfriend need to go home and get rested for their vacation which they are leaving for at lunchtime the next day.\n\nThis means that they'll be leaving our wedding at 7pm, despite the fact that our reception lasts until midnight. I'm aware that staying until the bitter end isn't everyone's cup of tea, but my husband is upset because he always imagined at his wedding one of the last guests to leave would be his brother. \n\nMy BIL is going on vacation with his girlfriend of 10 months, and since he started dating her he's changed. He's always taken away from family events early, doesn't get to see us on holidays until he's spent time with her family etc. I've always let it go because it's none of my business, but I am hurt that they're now going to leave my wedding early and use their vacation the next day as a convenient excuse. Am I being silly?\n\nHow do you think my husband and I should handle this situation? Or should we just leave it? Thanks for your advice.", "summary": "My future brother in law is going to miss almost half our wedding because he says he needs to go home to rest for his vacation the next day - how to handle?"} {"id": "t3_1h11c4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[20M] with my GF [19F] been together for about 3 years, I still love her but it seems like our sexual life is just getting worse.", "post": "The first few months when we first dated, sex was 99% of our relationship. We would go crazy trying and exploring just about anything to do with sex. This was the best period of our relationships. As months gone by, things just gotten worse from there. We started to have less and less sex and by the end of the first year, our sex went from 4-5 per month into about once a month. Now almost hitting the three years mark, we barely do anything. I tried to make my moves on her, she keeps rejecting me as she sees it (or anything sexual) as \"annoying\" or \"something that gets on her way\".\n\nWe tried talking about this but she said that her depression caused this lack of sexual desire. I don't know if it's true but this significantly affects my love for her. \n\nI do love my GF so much but I can't really say that I can see myself with someone who will not be able to sexually satisfy me forever. I know that sooner or later, I would need to find someone who can.\n\nWhat should I do?", "summary": "GF and I used to have a great sex life. It got worse with time and now it is to the point of no sexual activities. I love my GF but I am not sure if I can stay with her under this condition."} {"id": "t3_17sv6s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Mother of my child [19] me [22] I have a question because we're not together.", "post": "So the mother of my child are not together because I don't have those feelings for her. We had a drunk night and had sex and she got pregnant. Now my kid of 2 months is all that matters. But her side of the family insists of me being with her and getting together. They tell me it's best for the child. But I really don't want to be with her. I don't have feelings to like her or be with her. My child, I do love. I see her twice a week. Am I doing the right thing? Or should I be forced to be with her. She one time asked if we will ever be together. I didn't answer. I don't want to hurt her feelings either.", "summary": "the side of my daughters mother family wants me to be with the mother of my child, but I refuse to. Who has the right?"} {"id": "t3_24xg7m", "subreddit": "self", "title": "How can I convince my BF to throw out all his useless stuff without being a naggy GF?", "post": "Hey /r/self! Me and my lovely bf live together currently, but we are moving again in about a month. We are a college student and a recent grad respectively, but unlike most students (including me) he does not have a parent's house where some of his possessions are, so these are all his worldly possessions, and there's no where to store all the inconvenient stuff other than just letting it live in our apartment, untouched.\n\nBut that's sort of the problem. Over the course of our relationship, I have helped him move 3 times. And every single time I help him move, we spend hours moving things that have not even been looked at or touched since the *last* time I helped him move.\n\nHe insists that all of these things are important, when they are obviously not, he keeps them in broken, ugly plastic milk crate bins and they just take up space and waste our time and energy when we inevitably move them yet again.\n\nHow can I convince him to sit down with me so we can go through this stuff and throw out what's completely useless? What are the tactics for this? He gets so defensive when I suggest throwing these things out, because to him, I'm asking him to throw out all these things that are 'sentimental' or 'not useless' like old books that 'might be worth something' or a free frisbees from college, etc.", "summary": "My boyfriend hoards dumb shit, how do I get him to throw it out so I don't have to move it for the 4th time in 100\u00ba June weather."} {"id": "t3_uczkt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "From what I can remember my dad was an arsehole. My brother is asking if I want to meet up with him after 10 years. Any advice?", "post": "I have two older brothers that are 8 and 10 years older than me. I'm 18 now.\n\nWhen I was younger my dad had a car accident and I think he slowly got worse after this. He got quite addicted to drugs and there were a load of arguments and some got quite physical. I think I have issues handling confrontations because of this, in arguments my eyes just water and I stutter like a bitch. Even stupid, tiny arguments.\n\nWe got rid of my dad eventually but from what I've heard he was alright before the accident. My brothers have semi-regular contact with him now that he's sorted his life out (I'm told).\n\nMy brothers are old enough to remember when he was alright so I can kind of understand them not minding him now but my only memories of him are bad ones because I was too young to remember most of before the accident and the only other person who's told me about him is my mother who, obviously, didn't have nice things to say about him.\n\nMy eldest brother became a father figure to me after we got rid of my dad and now he's asking if I want to meet with him and my dad for a chat. Nothing in-depth or too deep (he knows I'll break if it gets too deep) just because my dad's always asking about how I'm doing with school/college/uni etc. Logic tells me to never speak to him again but because my brother is asking me I'm more inclined to go along with it. I just don't know whether I can forgive him for messing up quite a lot.\n\nAnyway, anybody been in a similar situation? Anybody that did the whole messup as a dad then tried to mend it? Or anybody just got any general advice? Cheers.", "summary": "Dad had a car accident, turned into a complete arse, now he's sorted himself out and wants to meet up."} {"id": "t3_1j94nb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My fiance [M/27] and I [F/25] are getting married in 2 months. I have some baggage that needs to be dealt with FIRST. Any advice would be SO much appreciated.", "post": "My fiance and I have been together for a year and a half, and we're getting married September 21st. I am SO happy with him and I know without a doubt we're supposed to be together. I have some baggage, though, that I want to deal with before then for the sake of his sanity and mine.\n\nHere's the deal...my mother is a controlling psycho and my father an alcoholic/coke addict. They have a very codependent relationship. I have seen myself getting more and more controlling. Babysitting my SO when it comes to chores, where he's going, what he's doing, etc. I hate being like that, and i know it's based out of my insecurity. I don't know how to stop or if I need to just ask him to make special accommodations due to my insecurities? Is that fair?\n\nIt all came to a head last night my fiance got completely obliterated drunk. (Keep in mind he doesn't do that EVER.) He was being a jerk. Well, it sparked some sort of mental thing and I had nightmares about being with an old ex of mine who was extremely abusive - physical and sexually. In my dream I was raped nightly and people watched and didn't do anything about it. It was horrifying. I know it's not my fiance's fault that this happened....but it was sparked by his drinking and out-of-the-norm jerkish behavior. \n\nSo how do I work through these issues and stop trying to mother him? Do I do it on my own? Should we do it together even though it's not his problem? I feel a bit lost.", "summary": "I have baggage from sexual abuse and it's been causing me to be very controlling. I need to stop but I don't know how to let go."} {"id": "t3_2kdjs2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (19F) feel that I cannot get along with my bf's (19M) younger sisters (8-10).", "post": "I'm on mobile, sorry for formatting.\n\nMy bf and I have known each other for a year and I've met both his families because his parents are divorced. I'm more close to his half sister and brother (on his dad's side) because I've babysat them before. His mother's daughters are a different story though.\n\nThe first time I met them, I acted all excited because I had to travel to the city to meet them and I bought gifts for them to make a good impression. I did have fun with them, but since they're younger than my own siblings (both in their tween years), I found that I didn't have much in common with them. They are so hyperactive and loud and I find that I don't have the patience and energy to put up with them. His siblings are also quite spoiled by their mother and act like big babies/whine all the time.\nMy bf is really close to both his younger sisters and I feel like he shows them more affection than he does to me. Physically and emotionally. I know everyone would pick their family first, but he always says how annoying his mom's family is and how she's manipulative.\n\nRecently, his mother and sisters showed up to our place somewhat unexpected and they slept over. I don't have a problem with them sleeping over on the weekend, but what I do have a problem with is that I had to go to work in the morning and I was exhausted when they came over. I stayed quiet for a majority of the time and everyone noticed.\n\nI can't find common ground with them and my bf has told me \"if you can't get along with my family, I don't think our relationship will work.\"\n\nReddit, how do I deal with kids.", "summary": "Can't find common ground with bf's younger siblings and don't quite get along with kids. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_2gbl69", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Just took in a neglected cat", "post": "I live in an apartment complex and currently have one cat of my own so I know how to take care of cats well. A few buildings down from me there is a family that owns an orange tabby. For about the last year I've seen this cat go inside twice. They don't feed him either. He's the most sweet little animal I've had the pleasure of meeting.\n\nAnytime I've ever pet this cat I can feel each individual vertebrae on his back as well as tail. I hadn't seen this cat for a few weeks so I thought they might have brought him inside now that the weather is cooler, until I seen him yesterday. The poor thing is bone thin and now his hair has fallen out in areas, ears bald, tail half bald, and he's skinnier then ever. I couldn't idly watch this cat die by the hands of his owner so I picked him up and brought him to my place.\n\nI immediatly seperated my current cat (jimmy) and put the new one in the bathroom. I gave him a bath, he didn't particularly like it, but didn't fight it either, and gave him 2 cans of food. I left my apartment for a while to run some errands and when I came back the bathroom door was open, with the new cat laying on my bed and jimmy laying on the floor beside him with them half sleeping, half staring at each other. I went up to jimmy to pet him, make sure he's okay with this new animal and he immediatly hissed at me and went back to locking eyes with the new boy. I sat there for a few minutes watching them and they seem pretty calm and at peace. I guess jimmy is just mad at me right now and I can accept that lol.\n\nAnyways, I'm not sure how to care for a cat in this state. I can't take him to a vet until October when funds aren't so tight. So what do I need to be doing for the time being? Is there anything special I need to be feeding him so he can gain his weight back? And how often should I be feeding? I'm regards to his fur, will it ever grow back? Any and all tips or advice would be tremendously appreciated.", "summary": "took in a neighbors neglected cat that's starving and has fur falling out, not sure how to specifically care for him until I can bring him to a vet next month."} {"id": "t3_dy0r3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, Is there any reason why I should continue to be a \"nice smart girl\" instead of being a \"dumb pretty girl\"?", "post": "I consider myself to be a decently smart girl, recent engineering grad with pretty good grades, gainfully employed, even despite the awful economy I graduated in. However, despite all this, I will never make as much as strippers, call girls, or even the girls who just play with themselves on a webcam! In fact, those girls, even the not so pretty ones, can make more in a week than I can make in an entire year! WTF?!? \n\nWhat is the benefit to being nice and smart? Now I tell myself, morals, self respect, etc, etc, but really? If there are people out there who are stupid enough to pay me a ridiculous amount of money just because they find me attractive, knowing full well that I am just humoring them because I want their money, why should I not take it? \n\nWhen I get old and saggy (which all women will) I can always go back into industry, get re-certified, take extra classes, etc, but I will never again be a young pretty girl in her 20's. Why shouldn't I take advantage of being young, fit and pretty, build up a nice savings account, invest it well, and retire early?", "summary": "Smart girls finish last. What's the benefit of being smart when being pretty (and stupid) will get me further?"} {"id": "t3_nuotf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How to deal with parents who treat you like you're 14 when your 18 years old.", "post": "My girlfriend is home for the holidays and her parents are still trying to control her life. I understand that since they are still paying for things in her life (college, life insurance, ext) that they still get a say. But it's getting to the point that even though it has been only two weeks, she's considering cutting all ties. It's a strong possibility for her to stay with me for the remainder of the break (my dad had a similar situation when he was our age) but by doing so her very strong catholic parents would cease all contact with her. This upcoming summer she is planning on getting her own place anyways, but the situation is getting worse at her place. My question (yes, I know...it took long enough) is what is the best course of action. Should she deal with her parents until the summer, or should she cut off all ties and live on her own. I'm also curious if any others have had similar situations and if so what did you do.", "summary": "Girlfriends parents are crazy, should she deal with it or cut off ALL ties AND has anyone else has a similar situation and what did you do?"} {"id": "t3_18iebv", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [M/22] am having trouble dealing with an overbearing [M/24] friend.", "post": "I have a friend who's in my program at school, and we've transitioned into the out-of-school friends zone nicely. He's up for hanging out a lot, and he's a really good kid, and it seems like he cares about me as a friend (as I do him). However, he's recently become a little more overbearing than he usually is. He asks me to hang out very often, and I try to oblige when I can, but he asks me to do things so often with him that it would be hard to balance a social life with other friends. He also messages me constantly on the internet, to the point where I turn off my IM service and don't sign into Facebook often.\n\nI told him last semester that I have a friend that's might be moving out of my house this summer, and that if that happened I'd need a replacement. He asked me about it recently, and I told him that I had told some other people about it as well. To be honest, I can't imagine living with him, because I imagine that I would never get a free moment.\n\nToday, I woke up to an e-mail (!!) he sent me last night, detailing the fact that he feels nervous that I had told someone else about the housing spot. I know he wants to live with me, and I wish he were a little less overbearing, but I can't imagine living with him. He's a really great friend, but I don't really want to extend the relationship to living together.\n\nWhat on earth can I say to him to diffuse the situation? I want to respond to it with tact. I'm going to pretend I haven't seen his e-mail yet (I see him every weekday at school)", "summary": "Friend has become a little too overbearing, wants to live with me, but I don't want to live with him."} {"id": "t3_1e3tki", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Not sure how to title this, but I just need some basic advice. I'm a 20M, girlfriend is a 20F", "post": "Hey everyone. \n\nI'll start with a little background of myself and my current SO. I am 20 and work as a Department supervisor at Home depot. Growing up, out of my friends, I have always been the one to have a lasting relationship. While most of them we're just \"hooking-up\" or having 2week to month long relationships I was having the months to year long relationships. In my senior year of highschool I was dating a chick about 2 years younger than me. I really thought she was going to be the one for about the first year of our relationship. It eventually hit the brick wall where I felt nothing for her anymore. Things I thought were cute or funny before turned into annoyances. The sex life was dull and pretty boring. I eventually broke it off because my feelings were causing problems and I didn't want to drag her along in a dying relationship.\n\nA couple months later I meant my current SO and we've been dating for about a year and 8 months. I am her first \"serious\" relationship and she lost her virginity to me. Everything has been great, we've had our little problems just like any normal relationship but I feel like I'm starting to hit that brick wall again. I've read about this happening at certain stages in relationships but I don't know if it's just me and I'm not sure if this is a normal feeling or if I'm being selfish in expecting too much or what? I know that she is head over heels for me and would do anything which is a nice thing to have. It just feels like the little things she does that were cute or funny are become annoyances etc etc. Our sex life is okay, it has been better but it is not bad by any means. I hope I did this right and gave the information needed, if not just ask and I won't have any problems answering. \nThanks in advanced.", "summary": "Not sure if I am hitting the \"brick wall\" in my current relationship like I have in past relationships which eventually led to going seperate ways."} {"id": "t3_19uew8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (24F) and my gf (23F) had a pretty bad argument last night. Should I call it quits?", "post": "My gf and I have been dating a year and a half. It's hard because I'm in law school and she definitely doesn't give me the space I need. Last night I was studying and she barged in called me a c *nt, b *tch, mistake (she moved here for me), and idiot. I thought she was going to hit me. I think it's because of the stress from school but we've grown apart the last two semesters. We live together but it feels like we're strangers/roommates who don't particularly like one another.\n\nThe only hesitation I have is I think to before law school (a year ago) when I LOVED being around her, couldn't get enough of her, and just genuinely enjoyed her company.\n\nNow, she makes passive aggressive remarks about how I choose school over her, is jealous of some of my close (straight) female friends, and just seems miserable with her life in general. I want us both to be happy.\n\nIs there any reason I shouldn't call it quits? Should I focus on good times from a year ago, or is it better to leave it in the past?", "summary": "my girlfriend and I aren't on the same page any more and have been having issues but I can't help but remember the good times. To break up or not to break up?"} {"id": "t3_3kosum", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29F] no longer want to put in any effort to make guy friends since they cut me out of their life when they find a SO.", "post": "This morning, around 3am, I received an angry email from a very good guy friend [29M]. He told me he no longer wanted to remain friends because our friendship was disrespectful to his current relationship. He stated he didn't want to risk losing his gf [32F] since he loves her (odd, since he had only bitched about her in the past) and I should never contact him again.\n\nThis hurt deeply since he was a VERY good friend. We've been friends for a few years and have done so much together like reddit meetups, random bar/geek events, chatting everyday on gchat, Comic Con, etc. I have never hit on him or expressed any romantic interest. And I've been a friend through his past two relationships so his cutting contact had me blindsided. \n\nAnd I thought, this is going to happen more often. I'm getting to that age where men are settling down and their spouses probably do not want single women in their husbands' lives. And I should respect that, like my friend said. \n\nI have a few other guy friends now and I feel like drifting away from them. I feel that weaning myself off from them will be for self-preservation as it's going to save me from future misery. What do you guys think? \n\nSorry. This was more of me thinking out loud. I'm very saddened I lost a very good friend. It's going to be so different from now on.", "summary": "Very good guy friend with SO cuts all contact. I fear all my current guy friends will do the same so it's best I gradually remove myself from their lives and no longer look for friendship with men."} {"id": "t3_kgrx3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Help with my creepy coworker...", "post": "I'm a grad student in a biomedical lab at a large university, and I've noticed that a new post-doc has been doing some very weird things. A brief summary:\n\nHe printed out a court case about child sex abuse and requirements for being on the registered sex offenders list.\n\nI once saw him visiting a sex offender registry website.\n\nHe obsessively changes every single computer in our lab he uses to auto-delete all web browsing history. He checks this regularly.\n\nHe frequently blanks his screen when I walk by.\n\nHe is somewhat touchy and aggressive with undergrads he works with.\n\nSo, what can I do? I'm thinking about installing some sort of logging software, because if he's doing something illegal with lab computers it could put all of our jobs at risk. I don't know much about logging software or other possible approaches to this issue.", "summary": "Coworker appears to be a sex offender and hides his computer tracks, but is sloppy enough that I've seen a few warning signs."} {"id": "t3_1txu9s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] lent my bass guitar to my now ex-boyfriend [22M]. I'd like it back, but he's ignoring me.", "post": "A couple weeks before we broke up, I lent my now ex-boyfriend my bass guitar so he could record a song (it's a nice bass and he's always loved playing it). He lives two hours away from me, so after the break-up we planned on meeting before one of his weekly choir practices, which is half way between us, so he could give it back.\n\nThree months later, I don't have it. We've planned on meeting many times, but he's cancelled each one. Now, I haven't even heard from him in weeks\u2014he hasn't answered my calls, he's blocked me on Facebook, he doesn't log into Skype, and didn't answer me when I messaged him via his music page on Facebook. Instead, he posted a status about all the cool bass lines he's been writing.\n\nAs you can imagine, I'm quite frustrated. I know he had a hard time with us breaking up, but it's been months and he's still acting like a kid. I've never been in this position; what's the appropriate way to handle this? Threaten to get police involved? Call his mom? I don't want to be a crazy ex-girlfriend.", "summary": "Lent my bass to my ex, who lives 2 hours away. Whenever we make plans to meet up, he cancels. Lately, he's been ignoring me altogether. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_335hz9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my long distance girlfriend [18/F] for about one year, troubles with honesty.", "post": "So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 1 year now, and will be at one year this may. We have made it until this weekend without any major fights, mostly because of our honesty and openness. I have never doubted her, nor has she doubted me, until I gave her any reason to.\nSo we went through an \"open relationship\" period when we first came to college, because we weren't sure if we should continue on with it. During this period, I walked a girl home who attempted to start making out with me, as a \"thank you.\" \n\nI was extremely uncomfortable with the whole ordeal and never talked to the girl again. This was my extent of female interaction that has not been with my girlfriend. Whenever she would ask about the the \"open period\" I would say nothing had happened, because I was so uncomfortable that she would think that I had deliberately cheated on her, or something similar. \n\nRecently, this weekend, I finally got the gaul to ask her what she had done over that period. She told me a remarkably similar story, wherein a guy tried to kiss her, and she went back to her room sobbing. At this point I knew that I should tell her the whole truth.\n\nAfter telling her, she was extremely hurt. She has burst out at me a lot recently saying that I lied to her face. Which, honestly I have. Our relationship is now a roller coaster of us being fine, until she gets upset with me, for as she admits, no reason, and snaps at me. This is taking a toll on my mental health as well as our relationship health, and I'm worried I'm going to snap back at her, which would not be fair. \n\nI have admitted fully that what I did was wrong despite my best intentions, and I remind her every time. I've not gone out all weekend because I do not want to put her through the feeling that I'm going out and having fun while she doesn't trust me. Any feedback for this is appreciated. I'm really worried about us.", "summary": "Lied to my girlfriend about things that happened over our open relationship because I was uncomfortable with myself, told her 7 months later, now we don't trust each other."} {"id": "t3_2tw077", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [32M] with my ex [28F]. I broke NC, then two months later she did.", "post": "Long story short, I was dating this woman that I was really into for a while. Three months we were really good, really close. The following four months, there were difficulties. What she explained them as, I strived to be accomodating for because I really liked her. Found out later that I was the side piece all along. Went NC. Three months later, I was drunk and sent her an email wondering if I could get answers to some questions. No response until yesterday, where she said \"ask any question you have\" and nothing else.\n\nAbout a month ago, I felt I was finally over her and through most of my anger about what happened. I have literally just started seeing someone, and she's completely atypical for me, absolutely opposite my type. It's leading to a lot of self-reflection, and I'm seeing a lot of things from a different perspective. I do like her, but I am not smitten. I was absolutely smitten with the ex.\n\nI read this sub frequently, and if I said nothing else, I suspect that the highest voted comment would be to not respond. That's literally what everyone says, but I am not clear on why that's the \"common sense\" reaction. I will never be pulled back into her crap--the lies were extensive--but this is a chance for me to get some kind of clarity on the whole situation. It's a chance for me to get the most from that whole experience, to find out where/how I allowed myself to be decieved, and to find out what from that whole relationship was actually real.\n\nIn short, I'm curious to hear from people who've had similar experiences with a lying ex, or have been the lying ex, and what decisions were made? What was the outcome? Would you make the same decison if you could go back in time?", "summary": "Lying ex contacted me, offering me the chance to get clarity on the past. What are the possible outcomes if I respond or not?"} {"id": "t3_3uk036", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [27/M] banned me [25/F] from talking to friend [25/M]", "post": "I [25/F] had a Friend [25/M] that I met 3 years before I started dating my current BF [27/M]. Friend and I were not that close at first, but we got to know each other, talked regularly. He started dating a girl. I ended up becoming her friend. It was cool. We'd all hang out. \n\nI kind of fell off from him when they broke up because I liked kickin it with her. A couple months after they broke up, I texted him just to see how he was. I enjoyed talking to him and remembered why we did become friends. He was mad cool. \n\nA couple months later we started to get a little romantic, but nothing too serious. I was never his girlfriend. We didn't have sex. It didn't end up working out. We should have stayed friends. \n\nMy current boyfriend of 3 years has banned me from talking to this guy. He gets frickin pissed if I even mention his name. I really want to talk to my Friend, but I don't want another argument. I don't want to lie to my boyfriend and go behind his back.", "summary": "What do you do when the love of your life forbids you from talking to someone that you don't want to end communication with?."} {"id": "t3_17bu36", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[23/M]How far done the rabbit hole did I fuck up?", "post": "So I've had a sub par(let's say 6.5/10) 5 yrs with my wife to sum it up I just deployed but we didn't have farewell sex and didn't have sex for the past 2 months prior..We have a son. We are complete opposites but hey who cares love right? Well I don't know if I've fallen out or just don't care anymore as I tend not to argue or find conflict because if I get involved I ma very blunt about the things I say. There's more but last night I was venting to her sister how we have more in common and discussing sex life how my wife does not give oral nor receive from me because she thinks \"it feels weird\". I came to the part to venting and being fed up as I was writing to tell the sister (added in disclaimers that i was just saying to say it)\"you know what If you were nearby, I won't lie I'd try to get with you\" and she took it as a compliment telling me how her boyfriend(babys daddy) has been giving her the cold shoulder for the past month. Then we talked more then I went to sleep. I don't know where I went with this rant I just need somebody to tell me anything.", "summary": "Stagnant marriage,/r/DeadBedrooms, Flirted with her sister insinuating sex. FUCK ME."} {"id": "t3_1yclq9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my friend [17 F] of about a year, she's gorgeous, kind, and gay, and I don't want to ruin our friendship!", "post": "My good friend, of about a year now, has been a huge part of my life since we met and I've started to fall in love with her. She's beautiful, kind, and has a heart of gold. I've often dreamt about asking her out and being together, yet there's only one thing that's stopping me, and that's her sexuality.\nDon't get me wrong, I am a huge advocate for gay/lesbian couples, but I don't know if this girl could ever love me simply because I'm a man. I would hate to have her think differently of me, but I can't help but love her.\nI guess what I'm trying to ask is, what should I do? Would it be a good idea to let her know how much I care about her? Should I suck it up and simply remain friends?\nPlease help! I love her so much, and I only want her to be happy.", "summary": "My awesome friend is gay, and I don't know if it would ruin our friendship to ask her out. Should I go for it or should I just suck it up and leave my emotions at home?"} {"id": "t3_2lec15", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriends [F18] mom found a condom in her pocket/that fell out. I'm [M17 not sure what to think.", "post": "Basically, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex in a couple of weeks mainly due to being life being hectic, sorting uni stuff etc.. The condoms ran out last time and we haven't had a chance to buy new ones. No biggy.\n\nToday she called, we were talking and it came up right ag that a condom fell out of her pocket or something today and her mom found it and made an awkward joke. I had to go so that was the end of the conversation, but it set off alarm bells in my head.\n\nShe never buys the condoms. Its always me. And we have no plans to see each other this week, let alone today. So why was there a condom in her pocket? I've been cheated on before so its a bit of an insecurity of mine, so of course my mind jumped to that.\n\nI texted her an hour ago, immediately after the call asking in a light hearted fashion \"How come you had a condom in your pocket? We haven't had a chance in AGES :p\" and she said \"Dinner now\". That kind of bluntness isn't like her and she still hasn't said anything. *just got a text saying \"works not going great, talk later\"* and its just eating me up.", "summary": "girlfriend has condom in pocket, thought we'd run out, no sex recently and no chance coming up. Am I right to be suspicious, or is my brain just a huge dick?"} {"id": "t3_1y1qsq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "friend of friend [17 F] with a person she doesn't know well [23 M] met at a concert", "post": "The friend (M) is concerned for her friend (V). She said that they met at a concert and prettymuch immedietly started making out. She doesn't know the guys last name, where he lives, etc. and wants to sleep with him. I'd consider myself a pretty sex positive person, and if you wana do the do, then by all means. However, I can't help find it strange that (despite being legal, 17 in new york) that she'd be getting involved with someone 6 years her senior while shes so young. She doesn't have the best history with dating, and it seems destined to fail and potentially dangerous. I know it's a fuckload of 'not my buisness', but, can't help but be a bit concerned as I did work with V and know her a bit. \n\nI guess normally I'd try and say that people need to learn from mistakes, but knowing she has a history of sexual abuse and mental health issues, and the fact that it may just be flatout dangerous to her health/well being I can't help but be a bit concerned\n\nBeing a 23 year old guy, I can say that yes, V is cute, but holyshit would it feel weird as a 23 year old to be with someone so young/immature and feel kind of concerned for the guy's character.", "summary": "Where is the line between learning from mistakes/life experience and trying to help someone avoid potential physical harm? What do you even say to people to try and help protect them from sketchy decisions?"} {"id": "t3_gp0l2", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "I slipped up last night, need damage control help!", "post": "I've been doing really well for the past couple weeks and really had a craving to go to my favorite restaurant for dinner last night. They have a wonderful cobb salad, so I figured if I got the dressing on the side, it'd be low-carb, and I could save half of it for lunch today, so it wouldn't be that bad. Unfortunately once I got to the restaurant self-control started to slide...I ordered a beer, and chips & salsa as an appetizer, then proceeded to eat most of the salad (it's huge).\n\nOkay, so that was a bit of a slip up, but it could have been worse...but then as we were driving home from the restaurant we passed by an ice cream shop. The weather was beautiful and a milkshake sounded SO good...so we stopped and I got a milkshake. I knew it was a mistake but I already felt like I had thrown the day out the window, and I was pretty upset about some other stuff that's been going on so I was kind of in that \"fuck it\" mentality.\n\nSo now it's the next morning, the day after, I feel full and gross and ashamed. I had been doing so well and feeling so good, then one lapse in control/judgement and I feel like I've been torn down. I'm really afraid of facing the day thinking \"you already fucked up, what difference does one more [insert delicious carb-based goodness] make?\" loseit, I could really use some words of encouragement to get me back on track today, move on from this, and make sure I don't piggyback on this slip-up with others!", "summary": "I ate like shit last night and could use some words of encouragement to make sure it doesn't cascade to other poor choices!"} {"id": "t3_3ltoht", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] with my SO[19F] of 7 months admitted she has feelings for a good friend [19M]", "post": "2 Weeks ago, my friend \"John\" admitted to my girlfriend \"Emily\" that he has been secretly in love with her.\n\nNot wanting to keep secrets from me she told me the situation and I had been mostly OK with it, and just asked her to be open and honest with me as the situation develops, and to tell me if he tries to do anything. On the *official*, I'm not supposed to know about these feelings of his.\n\nBut today, I had a nightmare where she left me for John. And I woke up and told her about it and we sat in silence for a while. I asked Emily if she loved John. She swiftly said no she does not, but that she has some feelings for him beyond their friendship. And even though that is true, she loves me unequivocally. \n\nThere was some crying and talking, she let me know that if it gets too painful for me that I could leave and she would understand, but that also both of their feelings would probably not go away.\n\nHonestly I'm at a loss here. 3 weeks ago we were in the most perfectly healthy relationship and now it seems as though we're on the verge of a breakup. When we met we fell in love hard and fast, and I can't bear the thought of leaving her. But I honestly don't know how to feel about this. My own insecurity, or jealousy, i feel, is going to end up tearing me apart.\n\nHas anybody ever been through this kind of situation? How did you help to resolve these feelings if at all?", "summary": "Friend has feelings for my girlfriend, girlfriend kind of shares those feelings, I don't know how to feel about it."} {"id": "t3_1vruvd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf (21/f) doesn't like me (21/m) having a life outside of her", "post": "My girlfriend has very few friends. They are all very busy so she doesn't get to see them much. I'm her only friend that she gets to see more than once a week. As a result, she doesn't like me having a life outside of her. \n\nShe gets upset when I just want to hang out with the guys, or if I want to go to a interesting lecture (she hates lectures), or a conference (she hates conferences), or if I'm working on a special project.\n\nI am trying to start a business so I have many special projects going on. She doesn't see the point of me spending any time on it because it doesn't make any money. Well, no business makes money in the beginning. I have a part time job that gives me enough money.\n\nShe gets really upset if I pick up a project to help out the community. She gets upset when I have a screening of a classical movie at my house, she hates classical movies. She also doesn't understand why I go through so much trouble to host events. I like hosting.\n\nI invite her to everything I do expect when I'm hanging out with the guys or working on projects for my future company. She just doesn't come because it doesn't interest her. We see each other 3-5 times a week and spend 15-30 hours a week together.\n\nShe frequently tells me I don't spend enough time with her. I don't want to give up my life for her, especially because we only have been together for six months. She wants to move in but I think it's too soon. She doesn't like where she lives, I love where I live.\n\nI understand her problem but I don't know what to do. I introduce her to new people all the time but they never become friends for some reason. I love her and other than these problems, our relationship is great. We have many things in common. However, this problem is becoming very frustrating. It's frustrating for me to hear her say I don't spend enough time with her when I do my best to spend as much time as possible with her. I just need me time sometimes, I can't be with her 24/7. What should I do?", "summary": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for six months. She is clingy and doesn't like me having a life outside of her. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_4wmcma", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Best Bank for A Fed-up (Kinda) Student?", "post": "Hi Reddit,\nI was wondering what the best bank would be for checking and saving for a young adult (19yo) on a gap year (the timing was weird).\nI currently have a part time job and I have a student checking account with TDBank. But I I have a few complications with it. When I set it up, it was with my mother who made me believe I had to sign up with her because a bank account requires two people (I believed her but have found out that was bullshit). The problem is she keeps taking money out of my account without telling me and hopes I don't notice. Whenever I confront her about it, she just gets defensive and says she'll pay me back (which she doesn't). I'm looking to get a new account In a new bank without telling her to avoid further conflict. I guess I'm looking for a good beginners bank. One that has a lot of branches, has good student checking/savings (that can work with my gap year), good interest rate, and would in general would be a good bank to grow with. Any suggestions?\nThank you so much.", "summary": "I need a good bank that isn't TD to get away from my mother. Preferably one with free student checking/saving that accepts people on gap years."} {"id": "t3_2khlre", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (28F) dad (50M) wants to date again - how do I help him?", "post": "Apologies if there's any weird formatting, I'm on my phone and this is my first post.\n\nMy parents were married for 28 years when my mom passed away unexpectedly last September. My mom was pretty much my dad's first everything. They met at work when he was 17, married when he was 21. They didn't have the typical go on some dates/courtship thing, it was more like instant relationship. She did everything for him and I wondered how he was going to manage, but he's making do.\n\nMy dad is an introvert through and through, and he has that sort of self-deprecating humor or view of himself; he knows he's not Brad Pitt or a fascinating conversationalist. If he's not at home in front of his computer, he's at his one close friend's house hanging out or riding his motorcycle if it's nice outside. He still has my two sisters (24 and 13) living at home.\n\nSince early in the year he's been talking about dating, which to me seems a bit soon but that's not for me to decide I guess. He was talking to a woman he works with for awhile; they and another male coworker would get lunch often, and he would casually bring up going out sometime but she would always giggle and do the \"oh yeah, maybe\" thing - at least from what he said, that's my impression. After awhile he kind of got the message that she wasn't all that interested - they still go to lunch but without the talk of going out.\n\nI'm not sure how to best support him in this. A few months ago he asked for my (middle) sister's and my help with setting up an online dating profile and I haven't broached the topic with him since. I want to help him be happy but I'm not sure what to do. Honestly it scares me a little to think of him out on a date knowing it's probably one of the most uncomfortable things for him to do - in the way that I imagine a parent is scared for their child to go to school, maybe. Supporting my friends dating feels totally different than this situation - what can I do?", "summary": "My super introverted dad is a widower of just over a year and wants to date again; I'm not sure how to help or support him."} {"id": "t3_33nxtn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16 f] said yes to a prom date by accident.", "post": "I just transferred to this new school 2 weeks ago after being taken out of an abusive situation with my mom. I still have a boyfriend where I lived. I had been having small conversations with this guy he offered me some cupcakes and i was like hell yea i love cupcakes then he said something along the lines of \"the condition is you have to go to prom with me\" i said \"sure out of impulse but then processed the situation and was like wait noooo. But I didn't want to say it cause how awful is it to accept a prom proposal and be whoops i actually meant to say no. What do i do? I want to remain loyal to my boyfriend and have no interest in going to prom with anybody but him.", "summary": "I accepted a prom proposal before fully listening to the question because I was focussing on eating my cupcake, i have a long distance boyfriend."} {"id": "t3_16d1zi", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Trick your friends in to believing your pregnant!.. oorr not? Do my prank services put me at risk of being prosecuted?", "post": "Basically the title of my service states that I will \"customize a 3D ultrasound to trick your friends into believing that 'you' are PREGNANT\".\n\nThe description of my services do not state much more than that. Am I required to place a disclaimer in my prank image in order to avoid any abuse of my service or should I put a more detailed disclaimer on the service when being purchased?\n\nAny suggestions would be more than helpful. I have suspended my service until I feel comfortable providing it.", "summary": "? I was offering a prank service and was nervous about the backlash. The service has been taken offline after considering your responses. Thanks Reddit!"} {"id": "t3_3h1k5o", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by making a joke to my ex boyfriend", "post": "This happened about two minutes ago. So today I was texting my ex boyfriend and we always make really funny jokes to each other. Even though him and I are broken up he's still my best friend and we talk to each other and tend to hang out almost everyday. We recently spent a couple of weeks apart due to the fact that we both were on vacation in different locations. \n After we both returned from our trips we mostly talked about my trip due to a mistake that landed me in the hospital. I never got around to asking him about his trip. \n Today he asked me when I would be coming back to get ready for uni. I haven't told him the exact date I'm moving in as it's been a running joke among our friends to not let him find out.\nHe asked me if I needed help moving in my furniture and I said that would be great.\n I tell him that I will need help on a Tuesday (Not specifically saying which Tuesday as to keep the joke going). He responds that if it is THIS Tuesday he can't do it. \n\nAs we are close I jokingly said \"Why, you got a hot date?\"\nHe responds with \"No, it's my grandma's funeral.\" followed by \"I gotta go to soccer ttyl\"\nTurns out his grandma passed away on his trip. \n\nWhelp. I fucked up. So hard.", "summary": "I was bent over the rail and fucked without lubrication after trying to make a joke to my ex boyfriend only to find out his grandma died."} {"id": "t3_290e9b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 19(m) with some questions about specific social circumstances.", "post": "This may seem like a stupid question but please bare with me. Sometimes when I talk with certain friends of mine and I look at them intently, I eventually have to look away because I am uncomfortable with making eye contact because I don't want them to know that I think they are unattractive looking. \n\nSo I have begun to notice that people also don't hold eye contact with me all the time and it got me wondering. Is that the most likely reason. I have a tendency to assume that others think the way I do and therefore I assume when others don't look me in the eyes it most likely is because I must also be unattractive.", "summary": "sometimes I am uncomfortable making eye contact with friends cause I dont want them to realize I think they are unattractive, is that MOST LIKELY the same reason why people may not make eye contact with me."} {"id": "t3_2dhxxh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] and my Girlfriend [17 F] of 4 months, are about to enter into a long distance relationship as I leave for college", "post": "As I approached my senior year, I knew I didn't want to get into a serious relationship with me leaving for college in a year. I figured I would just have fun with a lot of girls, and end it when I got tired of them. \n\nI started talking to this one girl who was a grade below me, and it was obvious she was the most beautiful girl I've ever had a relationship with. Our first date was significantly better than the others, and I felt an immediate connection. Around 3 weeks later we became official. \n\nFor around a month I still figured this wasn't too serious and we would just have fun while we can. However, I quickly realized I felt something I never felt with anyone else. I told her I was in love with her, and she felt the same way. \n\nNow, four months into it, we do everything together, we have so much in common, and I can honestly say she is my best friend. We agreed to try a long distance relationship because we both can see us being together for a long time, and also she is most likely attending my college next year. \n\nThis year, she is coming up to my college most weekends. We will see each other at least 8 days a month. \n\nMy question is, is it wrong of me to \"throw away\" my freshmen year of partying and hooking-up to pursue marrying this girl, or follow my heart and stay with her?", "summary": "My girlfriend who I am very much in love with and I are starting a long term relationship as I leave for college and she stays at our hometown. Should we try it or should I fully enjoy my freshmen experience?"} {"id": "t3_4sxv5p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [M/27] of 7 years isn't supportive of my [F/25] job choice, even though he knows I'm doing it for my own well being?", "post": "I'll try to make it as short as possible, but I had a job as a computer tech making decent money. It was a good job, but I was in need of a little more in order to pay for college courses and help with my mom's medical bills. My manager was unable to give me higher pay. So I ended up leaving my job for an office job as a receptionist.\n\nEveryone in that office was terrible to me, it didn't matter how nice I was. The coworkers there always tried finding ways of belittling me, and the manager and owner were constantly mad over things that were out of my control since I was just a receptionist. Everyday I woke up nauseated and dreading the work place, I even fell into a depression. \n\nI stayed at this job for several months until one of the managers called me and asked if he can make me an offer to come back. The pay would be pretty much the same as this office job. I was so happy I took it in a heartbeat! My family and friends were supportive since they knew the desk job wasn't right for me. But the one I love, he isn't supportive at all. He got a little upset with me over this and kept asking why can't I find a job elsewhere. I told him because no other place would give me this pay. He's upset that I'm starting again in a couple days with my old job and just doesn't wanna talk about it. I've told him that I need to do what makes me happy too. He just hates the idea of me working at this place, and he knows it's in technology which is the field I love and I'm talented in. What's your advice? What else can I say to him at this point? Or do you guys fee that he has a valid argument? He isn't giving me reasons, he just doesn't want me back at my old job. \n\nThank you all for your time.", "summary": "I got hired back at my old job for higher pay because my new job was making me depressed. Everyone except my boyfriend are supportive of me. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_3872pe", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by ruining over $100 worth of merchandise at work because I'm jumpy", "post": "I made a throwaway because too many coworkers reddit and I don't want my username out there. \n\nAnyway, it's inventory night at my grocery store job, celebrate! Inventory is boring, but not that bad. Pretty much everyone comes to hang out for a few hours and count shit. We wear pajamas and there's free food. It's fun.\n\nMy inventory job is usually weighing herbs. Fun, easy, whatever. But our store manager, on this particular night, decides that inventory is the perfect time for a fire drill, because most of the staff is present. He doesn't actually do any counting, and probably didn't think that some people are working with glass jars (and in the case of the kitchen, big knives).\n\nThe insanely loud alarm goes off right as I'm weighing an enormous glass jar of $100.00ish per pound herb blend. Which is now all over the floor. Because I hate loud noises. \n\nAt least I still have a job. But bye, easy, fun inventory assignment :(", "summary": "dropped insanely expensive product in a glass jar during fire drill. It's now in the garbage. Not technically my fault so I still work there, but annoying for that department."} {"id": "t3_1i3dme", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[28/M] I have been talking to someone recently [25/F] and things seem to be going well, but when is a good time to bring up my past?", "post": "Let me explain what I meany by my past. As a child I was emotionally abused starting at the age of 10 and ending when at the age of 16 but those years still take a toll on me. I'm not afraid of people at all but it's very hard for me to become emotionally attached to people because of this. I'm still very self conscious about myself but I don't let it show and I have a very hard time trusting people right away. In no way am I sad or bitter though because I tend to have an upbeat attitude and am a very outgoing, optimistic individual.\n\nI've had relationships before but more than not I was treated like garbage in those relationships, especially my last one when my ex would sometimes physically strike me as well as well as continue saying things like \"you know you can't leave me since no one else will ever love you.\" I always told as a kid that I was worthless and useless and that no one could love me anyways so I just assumed this was all normal.\n\nIt's been about 3 years since that and I still feel the toll it's taken on me but I've been talking to this woman recently for nearly a month and things seem to be getting pretty serious between us. She's cute, sweet, funny.. she's pretty much everything I'm not used to. And that's what's killing me. It's really, really hard for me to get emotionally attached to her because of my past and that's definitely not fair to her because she's treated me so well. I wish I could say I was joking when I say this is the first time I've actually been treated this way but it really is.\n\nShe knows nothing of my past at all because I didn't want to reveal anything that might scare her off. When would be a good time to sit her down and talk to her about everything I've been through and how it might be hard for me, at least at first, to become emotionally attached and how it might take time?", "summary": "Emotionally abused as a child, I had horrible past relationships, I've found a woman who treats me right and want to know when I should explain to her about my past."} {"id": "t3_23s1bs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [27F] friend [25M] has an attitude problem and I can't figure out how to break it to him.", "post": "I've known this guy we'll call Dave for probably six years now and he's been one of my closest friends for the past two years. He's had a rough time lately, due to losing his gf of a few years from her cheating on him and several other issues have just made him down in the dumps and extremely depressed over the past year.\n\nWe decided to go into leading a MMO guild together around August of last year and it kind of exploded into a lot of members. Everything was going fine for the first month or two but we started losing members because people couldn't stand Dave's attitude, my own boyfriend included. He gets very worked up over things and can be abrasive a lot of the time when we're in the middle of activities. In general, the attitude when we play together is not happy and there is a lot of tension that builds up. I put up with it for a long time because it didn't bother me as much as it did other people but I'm in the situation now where the group is falling apart due to the way he acts. And he cannot see it at all. \n\nWe have almost an entire group of people refusing to play with him now and if he enters the group, arguments start. But he still can't see the issue. I tried being honest with him a week and a half ago that a lot of the group just cannot stand his attitude and the way he acts. He seemed to take it to heart at the time but its a week and a half later and its still the same. I can't figure out how to be nice but be honest with him about the general opinion of him, and say that I have that opinion too without losing him as a friend.", "summary": "I have a ragey friend that refuses to see his attitude as an issue. I can't figure out how to tell him without it causing an unmendable rift between him and I."} {"id": "t3_1qp5w4", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Need some networking advice... overambitious?", "post": "Hi everyone, so I'm a first year at a large company with many different divisions. I'm currently trying to lateral into a different division and have met with a person who did a similar switch. He said he would ask his manager... which he did and then said they were currently working on winning some engagements and that they may have a need in the future. This was 2 weeks ago.\n\nFast forward to yesterday... met another two guys in the group at a random after-work event and they offered to meet with me and talk more about the group and everything. The first guy introduced me to them.\n\nI also reached out to an alumni from my school doing similar work at a different firm (not trying to move, just informational), and he said he was good friends with the head of the group at my firm and would be happy to introduce me via email. I said that would be great, but I'm hesitant.\n\nI'm worried that I'm coming across as trying too hard now. The only people I reached out to are the first guy for coffee and then the alumn, but I feel like meeting with too many people in the group and expressing an interest is being overambitious (even though I never even asked to get coffee/be introduced, except for the first guy).\n\nShould I proceed with the meet-up with the head of the group?\n\nAdvice appreciated.", "summary": "worried that I would come across as trying too hard for networking with too many people within a smallish group. (25 people)"} {"id": "t3_1zooge", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] with my GF [22F] 1.5 yrs, long-distance for next few months, want to do cute things for her. ideas?", "post": "So I know, I know. Cute things have to be thought up on your own. I've got a lot of them, trust me. But I wanted to know, what does everyone here do when they're in an LDR? It's getting to be spring semester, it's gonna be rough on everyone, and I want to make sure she knows I love her.\nSo far, the list of ideas/things we do consists of (some will be missing, cause I have a horrible memory)\n\nSkype dates, \nhandwritten letters, \nthe florist knows her address by heart, \ntakeout ordered to her room when she's had a horrid day, \ntexting her pictures of the dog, \ncalling her at night before bed, \nsnapchat, \ntalking about her class, homework/analyzing her readings together, \nmy day at work/discussing my school, \ndiscussing theology, \nsexting, \nlooking at sex toys we want to invest in eventually, \ndiscussing our opinions on apartment decorating/location, \ndog training, \njudging peoples' outfits via snapchat and text. \n\nI'm debating getting her a grazebox subscription, recently picked up a Creative Cloud subscription for us to share, and other than that am kinda out of ideas. She's a super high achiever and stressing herself out left and right atm. We're working on healthy stress management/positive reenforcement/self-talk strategies, too, because her standards are exhausting. So hopefully over some time that will help her stress levels.", "summary": "LDR for senior semester. GF of 1.5 years, love her to death. Want to help keep her sane/happy/feeling loved. Ideas?"} {"id": "t3_2n3ip0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M/15] have a crush on a classmate [F/15] and not sure what to do.", "post": "I've been interested in this girl for quite some time now(We'll call her Anne, because that's her real name) but I am only recently starting to want a make a move. As a teenager I obviously have no experience talking to women much less people as I don't exactly have a way with words.\n\nThe girl in question is in 3 of my classes and we don't usually talk, nor do we sit close enough to start a conversation. In the halls she usually goes the opposite of my way getting to class and never goes to her locker, instead just class to class, followed by her friends, so I can never get her alone. Even when we walk across each other I freeze up and can never say anything, or even look at her, which is mostly my fault and I'm trying to fix that.\n\nHowever, we do have play practice together but, again, she is surrounded by friends and we have no parts together (unless its dancing with the entire cast).\n\nBasically, how can I start a conversation with this girl? I'd like to get to know her better, even if it takes baby steps. I know this is probably teenage problems but I can't ask my parents since they will (and have) belittle me about it. I'm comfortable talking to girl friends but initiating conversation with a girl I'm interested in and can never have time to talk during class is a whole other thing.\n\nI'm willing to share more information if more is needed.", "summary": "I'm into a girl, but can never get her alone except early in the morning for about 3 minutes. What do?"} {"id": "t3_1x2db5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (16F) have a past in self harm.. How to break it to my boyfriend? (19M)", "post": "First time poster here. \nSo.. Today I went swimming at a mates with my boyfriend. We've been together for about a month and so far he's got the idea that I've had a bit of a shitty past, but I haven't told him about my previous self harm issues. This is a really nerve racking thing to talk about and the need to tell him is there, but I don't know how or when to start talking about it. I don't want to scare him off! Anyway, we went swimming and I'm fairly certain it was hard to miss any scars I've been trying to hide. I wouldn't be surprised if he's already seen them, and that does nothing but heighten the anxiety of admitting it. Its taken so long to work up the courage to go out into public without pants or stockings on, which ive only done thrice so far, and the last thing I want is to make him uncomfortable. How do I achieve this Reddit? D:", "summary": "had bad past, need to tell bf about past self harm issues, but nervous. how the fuck do I do this?"} {"id": "t3_3qj6rg", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Just rub it in my face I was wrong about my friend.", "post": "No one is really rubbing it in my face they just feel bad for me that he did this. They wanted things to work out for me, but they know my bad luck streak in never getting treated right even though my friends say I'm a great woman and anyone would be lucky to have me. My friends are crying for me what did we do to deserve this while we see people who don't deserve to be in happy relationships are in one.\n\nI defended my long time guy friend and everyone else was right he isn't who I thought \"he\" was.\n\nI always hated when people would bad mouth my friend. I would tell them he isn't like that he is a good guy. I'm not crawling back to my old hometown just to tell everyone that they were right he didn't ask me out, we're not together, in fact he's not talking to me.\n\nI'm still going to stay in my new town because there's much more people to meet. \n\nI shudder to think if he is actually hooking up with other people after he has been with me -- someone who he has longed for all his life.\n\nIf anyone wants to say what a douche bag my friend is go ahead. I'm not going to stop anyone anymore. I'm done defending him.", "summary": "Why can't I ever get what I truly desire and I always work so hard for it! I stayed single never married because I had a feeling I'd meet my far away Internet friend by fate one day."} {"id": "t3_x18d5", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "College studen seeking career advice regarding International Business. Is it a good career to major in?", "post": "Hi. So i was recently thinking of switching majors to Business and specializing in International Business, and before i do i wanted to get some opinions on the matter. I googled the question online on yahoo answers and i got vague answers on IB being a good/bad major. So if anyone could give me some insight on the matter id appreciate it. If you could answer why IB is or isnt a good career choice. Also if there are any IB majors out there id LOVE to hear where you are now in life and what are some good careers a future IB graduate like myself has out in the world.", "summary": "is international business a good major to major in. If so why? Is it easy to find a job as a newly graduated student? Also if there any IB majors out there, explain your experiences as a IB major"} {"id": "t3_5394yj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27 M] had a woman ive been sleeping with [24 f] for 3 months call me a fucking loser over text last night. She apologized and claims she was drunk, but I feel like I should drop her. Should I?", "post": "like the tile says, I have been seeing a woman I used to work with for about 3 months. I had told her I had feelings for her previously, and we have been kind of casually dating while sleeping together, but it has been decidedly slow and casual from her preferences.\n\nI got a text from her last night when I knew she would be drinking with some of her girlfriends she is a bridesmaid for. Her calling me a loser even when she is drunk kind of destroys my romantic feelings for her, at the very least. I don't want someone who I'm potentially interested in thinking I'm a fucking loser, even when she's drunk\n\nI don't know how much slack to give this lady. I haven't responded yet, she apologized this morning like I said, but my instinct is that I should drop her for not respecting me. What do you guys think?", "summary": "woman I've been sleeping with/casually dating called me a loser over text, should I forgive her because she was drunk?"} {"id": "t3_2jh4ga", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Returning to work...need life advice.", "post": "Hello all,\n\nI'll try to be brief but explanatory about my situation. I had a job for almost exactly 13 years. I started in my mid 20's. It was in a retail oriented business. I have never had a passion about any of my jobs but I have always worked beyond hard and excelled in my duties. I eventually became an assistant manager around my fifth year. I did it mainly for the money and because I had the skills but I hate having to manage people. I am the type of person who expects people to just be adults and do their jobs without having to be told to. \n\nAnyways, I excelled at my job, most of my team members were friends and we all worked well together, and I was always being considered for center manager. i always declined because i knew i would burn out faster than I was already. The company went downhill for awhile and i mainly stayed for the money, the people I worked with and by that time i was on autopilot as far as getting the job done. \nSo, fast forward to last year some things happened between me, my center manager and a couple terrible coworkers. The end result was center manager fired and me being to forced transfer to another center due to the lies of the two coworkers who quit immediately after the results they got. I was totally soured on the job after that so I put in my two weeks. I had some money saved up so I haven't really looked until know. But with the money dwindling down and the bills still coming in I need to get back into it.", "summary": "Quit my job of 13 years 1.5 years ago and need any and all advice of getting back to it."} {"id": "t3_1np359", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of a year and a half, we are going through a weird stage and I need an advice", "post": "Hello reddit, it's been two weeks since my relationship \"fell apart\". Here's the thing: We've known each other for three years now and we've been a couple year and a half, we have an amazing relationship, we try to never lie to eachother, we ate together, worked together, it was almost like living in the same house.\n\n Her family loved me and so did mine. She always was searching me, telling me she loved a lot, hugging me; however, a few months (3) ago she started acting odd (gradually)... She was acting distant, some times avoiding my kisses, being a little agressive towards me, and other times she was normal.\n\n I noticed this so I talked to her, she started crying saying that she doesn't know what was happening to her, she said that she needed some space to understand what was happening to her but that she just loved me too much and that she did not wanted to hurt me and raise walls in front of us.\n\n This crushed me, I went to see a therapist to keep me stable, she said (the therapist) that I could probably be giving her too much (Which I did). \n\nI must admit that she was taking me for granted. The next day I talked to my girl... We agreed to be separeted for a while (I gave her until december) for her to decide what she wanted to do.\n\n In this two weeks I have rebuilt my lost friendships and keeping my mind in other things to avoid depression, and yes, I want to get back together, she has changed my life.", "summary": "My girlfriend and I are taking a brake, I want to get back with her and need some advice of how to get her back."} {"id": "t3_30bo71", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(20/f)Really needing advice about my boyfriend's (18/m)lack of communication", "post": "To start out- I'm using a throwaway to prevent people I know from noticing a request for relationship advice.\n Secondly, I know how quick many redditors on here are to suggesting a breakup. That is not on the table for me, I am asking for tools to repair and enhance the relationship car, not advice on how to total it and find a new one.\nAlso, please do not make the mistake of using our age as a fit reason why this is not a genuine problem. It would insult my emotional intelligence, and I hope for open minded advice. I recently graduated from the same High School that he is currently a Juniour in.\n\nWe've been dating for three years now, and are eachother's best friends. We enjoy many of the same things, yet our opposite personalities compliment eachother quite often, and in most ways. I am sensitive and feeling, excitable, and perceptive to when something is bothering him. He is reserved, calm, and I suppose, \"logical.\" My Boyfriend is basically a Vulcan.\nHe *never* shares his feelings about a problem, like ever. I can sense when he's preoccupied by a problem, and whether or not I inquire, or leave him alone to have space about that sense, he never opens up to share it with me. \nUnless it's something trivial, like \"I don't like the smell of that Febreeze.\"\n\nI have told him, when we have argued in the past, that I really need him to open up to me more, if he at all can. Because while I understand that people are different, and don't like to share on every topic, it can definitely be said that cramming every thought and emotion into a bottle is unhealthy. It reduces me to tears to think about how there's problems trapped in his mind that he has not even considered bouncing off of me.\nBefore anybody asks, no, I have not ever acted in such a way to make him not trust my reactions to his innermost thoughts, were he to try and open up to me once.", "summary": "Boyfriend keeps emotions and thoughts locked up, I want to be a comfort to him, and to help him realise that sometimes, talking *can* be a good way to solve a problem or reduce his anxiety."} {"id": "t3_3057zi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "It's my [23f] birthday, and my family wants to do all the things - but I don't.", "post": "Okay, so this is sort of a dumb question. But anyways.\n\nIt's my birthday today and I couldn't care less. It's just another day of the week for me.\n\nMy family has always been big on parties. My parents are divorced, so it was always \"who can throw the bigger, better party for rundagger's friends\". Now that I'm out of the house, it's turned to \"who can do more with rundagger than the other parent\".\n\nI moved with my dad across the country two years ago, and all I expect from my mom is a phone call later today to tell me happy birthday. But my dad and his family (remarried) want to do all this stuff for my birthday.\n\nI have tried before telling them that I don't want to do anything. I just want to sit at their house, grill out, hang out, watch a movie and maybe eat cake. I don't want anything special.\n\nMy dad and his family threw a party for me over the weekend with all my relatives that live nearby. Okay, cool, I can dig it. It wasn't anything special, and there was no cake. Even better.\n\nYesterday I got a phone call saying that we're going out to dinner tonight, and to look nice, yada yada. Good thing I didn't have plans to sit at home and binge watch Breaking Bad with my boyfriend.\n\nMy dad then went into guilt trip mode and told me all about how he was looking for the perfect gift for me and went to eight different stores to get it. I'm not the sort of person who likes getting gifts.\n\nI'm assuming that there's going to be another get together this upcoming weekend too, disguised under 'my birthday' party. How do I get them to understand that I'm not into all these party things? I've tried explaining it to them more than once, but each year it just repeats again. Do I just suck it up and chalk it up to my family loving me?\n\n(Also, yes, this is how everyone's birthday is in my family.)", "summary": "I could care less about my birthday, but in my family's eyes it's a big deal and they want to do everything in the world to celebrate it over a week's time. How do I get them to understand this?"} {"id": "t3_3b8wfr", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Landlord trying to move me into a different place than I leased originally", "post": "Pennsylvania\n\nThis past spring I signed a lease (along with another 40ish guys) to move into \"our\" fraternity house (we own a minority portion of the property and have lived there since the house was built years and years ago). The lease was accepted, I paid my deposit, and I paid my rent. \n\nRecently, the landlord tried to get me to move into a different location (sent an addendum to the lease detailing it) because of his alleged concerns due to a probation-esque sanction from the past and a possible violation that would not allow us to live there. This violation will *not* cause us to be evicted as he originally thought. However, during the time that he thought we would be evicted, due to not understanding the agreement and *not* due to the local government changing their mind later, he gave leases out to new tenants. \n\nWhen we figured this out we were upset and tried to figure out what was going on, while telling the landlord that we would not sign the addendum to move into a different location. Today, I got an email from the landlord saying that the window of time to negotiate had come and gone in the spring (at that time, we didn't even know he was giving new tenants leases, moving us out, or even thought he had any concerns of eviction that would lead him to do so) and the location was rented to a different tenant. He said he \"sincerely believed\" that moving us out (to avoid the eviction, which was never going to happen) was for our own good as a fraternity, and that he has entered into a contract at the new location and considers that he is meeting his obligation to us.\n\nThe other house is owned by a different fraternity who are currently having their own issues. The rental permit for it is currently suspended and only by entering a restrictive agreement with the local government can they even rent it to *anyone*. They themselves cannot move in until 3 years from now but will undoubtedly move in immediately at that time. We also have no guarantee of any other housing, including our own house, after that time, which kinda sucks a lot for a fraternity.\n\nDo I have any way of staying in the original house?", "summary": "Signed my lease and paid my rent. Landlord said screw you I'm renting it to someone else, offers a crappy different place to live, says he fulfilled his end of the contract."} {"id": "t3_18n70u", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I got rejected HARD last Valentines day. Anyone else have some sad rejections/backfires?", "post": "Around this time last year I was seeing a girl, it wasn't anything serious yet but I was starting to like her. I was a super broke student though (still am), I only had $40 in my bank on Valentine's Day. So I decided to be spontaneous and buy her some roses (not really its valentine's day come on). I spent all my money and I was feeling great. I tried calling her and she wouldn't answer. Eventually I got a hold of her and she rejected the flowers. They sat in my trunk until they died. I felt horrible. At least she could've taken them so I wouldn't have wasted all my money.", "summary": "Bought a girl flowers for valentine's day with the last of my money. She rejected them and my flowers died, along with my affections for her."} {"id": "t3_3nqzrf", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by biking to school", "post": "At the start of this semester I told myself I'd hit the gym and bike to school everyday to save on gas and parking in addition to burning some calories. \n\nFast forward and it's been 3 weeks since I actually followed through on this plan so this morning I said \"Fuck it!\" and hopped on the bike.\n\nLiterally at the first intersection of the route some asshole almost runs me over because he didn't feel the need to stop at the stop sign. There was a verbal exchange but whatever I kept going. \n\nFast forward to halfway through my route where my rear inner tube suddenly pops. I was right on time to get to my exam until this happened so I safely locked my bike at the nearby train station and requested an Uber. This mother fucker makes me wait 10 minutes before cancelling the request and charging me $5. I'm pissed but I keep it cool, request another and make it to class just in time.\n\nI'm thinking \"Okay I'll just catch the bus back home between classes, get my car, and pick up the bike on the way back. Perfect!\" I call my girlfriend and tell her what happened and she starts giving me shit about leaving the bike. We live in LA so nothing like Canada where you can leave your house unlocked but I figure, it's locked, it's safe, no one will steal it.\n\nFast forward again! I went home, got my car and stopped at the train station and guess what?? The fucking bike is gone. \n\nTo make matters worse, it's not even my bike. I got it for my girlfriend as a a gift for her birthday a while back and now it's fucking gone. I called her to tell her what happened and I reallllly don't want to hear it at this point but she says it anyways \"I TOLD YOU!!!!!!\"", "summary": "Lost a bike I gave as a gift. Almost got hit by a car and nearly missed an exam in the process."} {"id": "t3_e2s55", "subreddit": "books", "title": "Is it going to get better?", "post": "I've been pretty slack in terms of reading novels for say the past 10 years (except for Harry Potter), but decided over the last few months to get over myself and get back into reading.\n\nI've got a list of good books to read (no idea where from) and decided to just buy book titles based on the title alone.\n\nI read 1984 (pretty awesome) and then read The Wind Up Bird Chronicle (I finished both of them!).\n\nI enjoyed both of them, my only problem being that I am struggling to read them and maintain interest for prolong periods of time. I will read 2 pages and get exhausted. Or read 3-4 pages and realise I haven't taken anything in.\n\nIs this something that is going to improve? At the moment it feels like reading is a chore as opposed to a leisure activity.\n\nThe next book on my list is Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep.", "summary": "I am struggling to remain active and hold concentration when I'm reading. Feels like more of a chore as oppose to leisure."} {"id": "t3_53lci4", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "(Los Angeles) Not your typical automatic gate damage", "post": "So the parking lot of our apartment has an automated, chain-driven sliding gate. Our car was parked in the spot parallel to and just behind the gate, along where the sliding gate backs up while being opened. We were getting in the car as another car was exiting the lot and triggered the automatic sensor to open the gate. Just as the gate was sliding next to our car, the breeze blew open our driver's door far enough open for the back of the opening gate to catch the inside of our door, pull it open further than it is supposed to, and slightly twist it before stopping. After 15 minutes of figuring out how to close the gate stuck against our door we inspected the damage. The door can barely close and lock, but since it's twisted the top half is open to rain and coat hangars while the bottom half is pushed in further than it should. \n\nHere's the question. Are we justified in asking the complex owner to fix the door? And if they so no, are we justified enough to take them to court over it and win?", "summary": "an opening automatic sliding gate backed into our properly parked car's open driver's door, twisting it so it doesn't properly shut. Can we legally hold the gate owner responsible?"} {"id": "t3_2nu5ve", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Wondering if I am missing a subtext.", "post": "Hey folks, throwaway account here as my social circle is very internet-savvy.\n\nI am a vet 23[M] going to a university. I am being lightly pursued by a fellow student, 20[F].\n\nI do not know why. She's not really in my social group, we see each other in passing(had one class together ages ago). The few girls I was interested in shot me down (gently) so I've resigned myself to a mostly celibate college experience. Therefore, I act in a genial manner to everyone but keep to myself at all times.\n\nI'm worried I'm seeing something here because I want to see it. I'm worried if I follow through I will be seen as a lecherous creep.\n\nThe only other relationship I've ever been in I broke off because I was ashamed I didn't have a car and the girl lived a couple towns over (and had to pick me up and drive me home). Due to this, I haven't developed any sense of body language ques if a girl is fully interested or not.\n\nI feel like I'm stumbling blind, and that if this girl who seems interested actually is, she'll be put off by my timidity.\n\nFor context purposes, I am extremely self-assured if I know the nature of my relationship with people. That is why this is troubling for me, I don't know how she feels and I don't want to collapse the waveform by asking a question in a socially insensitive manner such that she feels uncomfortable and breaks what might be the first genuine human interaction I've had in 3+ years.\n\nHow do I proceed? Should I ask her to accompany me on activities I normally perform myself (hiking, shooting, running)? How do I formulate a litmus test sort of date where I know how she feels, whether this is a friendship attempt or a romantic gambit?\n\nWe've had dinner already, and I stumbled over my only compliment to her.", "summary": "Girl seems to like me, don't know why. How do I tell if it's for friendship or something else?"} {"id": "t3_2w0146", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my [25 M] SO, how do I tell people I'm off the market?", "post": "So I know its a bit weird. You start a new relationship, you want to tell everyone about it, right? Been with my SO for a few months now and I think we're moving from being casual to actually being in a 'relationship' (he hates labels so I'm not actually calling him my boyfriend atm... It's early days so I'm cool with that). \n\nPrior to him I was very much single for a long time and met some cool people along the way. Since I started seeing my SO I obviously didn't really speak to them and we kinda became exclusive. However now we're a bit more secure I think there are a couple of people that I got to know, that are kinda ex's you could say, who I would want in my life as friends now. The problem is I don't want to lead them on when I say 'lets get back in touch' but I don't want the first thing I say after a while is 'hey, long time, I'm in a relationship now, you good?' These were more along the FWB situations so normally a 'lets hang out' lead to more too... That's obviously not what I'm after, but I'm kinda wanting the friends part of that dynamic back... Don't want to lead anyone on when I ask to hang out though this time...\n\nIs there the right time/way to tell these friends I'm not available anymore? Or do I keep them at bay after telling them straight?", "summary": "want 'exs' in my life as friends after starting a new relationship. How do I keep everyone happy and not lead anyone on?"} {"id": "t3_4kj3nc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] with my ___ [20 M] boyfriend makes jokes saying I should get short hair, don't want it.", "post": "Hi everyone!\n\nI have been with my boyfriend for two years now and overall, it's been a good relationship. We have one ongoing issue (probably a non-issue to most but I just wanted some advice) about my hair. In the first few months of dating, my boyfriend and I were talking about kinds of looks we like and I said I had always been into red heads like him etc and he said I wasn't his type ( I have long dark brown hair) and he preferred blondes with short hair (basically exactly what his ex-girlfriend looked like) and I didn't think much of it because most people have a type and that's obviously fine. \n\nThen, he would often make jokes about me getting a bob hair style (above shoulder length cut so fairly short: the style his ex-girlfriend had) to the point where if I mentioned getting a hair cut, he'd ask if I was considering a bob. He would also point out others who had the hairstyle and say how nice it looked etc. At first, I just brushed it off and laughed and told him I didnt suit it when I had one when I was younger and thus wasn't planning it on getting it again. \n\nEventually, I started getting slightly more annoyed when he made the comments, saying its my hair and I can decide how I want it etc and I don't want one. However, I keep feeling like I should get one to make him happy and to stop his comments but last time I got one,I just didnt like it and so have kept my hair long. I have also told him if he likes the hair style so much, he should date someone with it etc and he just pouts and insists he wants to be with me. Also, might be over reacting her but it's slightly starting making me feel like he wants me to look like his ex and I just want to look like me. He never comments on my clothes except saying positive things etc so it's weird he making comments about my hair so much. \n\nBasically, am I being over dramatic and even if I am how do I get him to stop without seeming like I am being over dramatic.", "summary": "Boyfriend is often making jokes/comments about me cutting my hair shorter but I don't want to; how do I make him stop?"} {"id": "t3_2o0srv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (16M) am having trouble expressing my true feelings to her (15F)", "post": "I (16 M) am a Gr11 Highschool student while she (15 F) is in Gr10. Let's call her Angelina. I really like her and i think she likes me a little bit.\n\nNow we've been friends for the past couple of months and we have the same first period class together, with alot of our mutual friends. We have quite a bit in common with things like music, food, style and fashion.\n\nShe's one of those people that you'd do anything for, who's smile brightens up your morning.\n\nHere's my problem. Everytime I try to talk to her (in person even though she gave me her phone number) or try to get her alone so I can really tell her how I feel, I choke up, get distracted (I have ADHD) and make thing painfully awkward and pushing her away from me sending me closer to the 'Friendzone'.\n\n____________________________________________", "summary": "Really like this girl but I get extremely nervous everytime I talk to her causing me to somehow avoid expressing my feelings for her."} {"id": "t3_3cf66k", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Need help regarding possible child abuse/neglect of my son by my ex! Please and Thank You!", "post": "Thanks for reading,\n\nI have a 4 1/2 year old son. He is my best friend. I love the little guy so much. My ex wife and I divorced a couple years and have joint custody. She has since moved away but I still get good visitation time with him. I have him for three weekends per month and one month per summer. He feels comfortable here with me and he and I have a great relationship and he loves his family and time spent here.\n\nJust got back from family vacation this weekend with my parents and fiance. He was sitting outside with my mom and fiance while I was inside making his lunch a couple days ago. Fiance and I have an 8 week old baby and my 4 year old is very interested in everything he does and is always watching him and trying to look after him. \n\nAnyways, the infant spits up while my mom is holding him and he sees this and points it out to everyone, which I always think is cute because he loves to feel like he is helping with the baby.. anyways, this is where it gets weird. He said this to my mom and fiance: \n\nSON:\"You know what? One time I almost puked at home\" \nMY MOM: \"Oh Really? Why is that sweetie?\"\nSON:\"Because mommy was choking me and it made me have to puke but it wasn't over the toilet it was on the floor so I had to swallow my own puke\"\n\nWhen I heard this I was floored. Would I like to believe he is just telling stories and that my ex-wife doesn't choke out my son? Absolutely. Is she psycho enough to where I could actually see this happening? Yes.\nBut I need to find out more before I confront her about it.\n\nSince I didn't directly hear it from him I have been thinking about the best way possible to bring it back up to him now that it has been a few days and see if his story still matches what he told my mom/fiance.", "summary": "Son who is 4 years old claims mother choked him until he had to swallow his own puke. Need advice on how to bring it back up to see if he is telling the truth and/or whole story"} {"id": "t3_2ducp4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My 2 months girlfriend [23 F] is under a lot of stress and it's possible to break up with me [22 M]", "post": "She got out of a 2 years relationship and about 1.5 months later, we started to date. She told her parents and they didn't let her date me because they think that she doesn't know what she's doing. She said she didn't care and still kept dating. Yesterday, she told me she was under a lot of stress because her parents call her everyday because people tell them we are still dating and stuff and wants to have the talk. \nAlso, we started having problems a few days back. It's really weird because her ex (who lives next door), just came back from vacations and even though she said they talked and agreed to be just friends, I saw on Snapchats that he became one of her \"best friends\" and apparently send a lot of pictures. What do you guys think? what should I say? I really feel like shit, and don't want to lose her... It's gonna kill me.", "summary": "GF is under a lot of stress, her ex is back from vacations, and she told me she wanted to talk to me. I don't know what to say to her once I go talk to her. Help. thanks."} {"id": "t3_2cnbuv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "Tifu by trying to combine two words at work", "post": "I will preface this by saying I normally have a pretty good filter on the things that I say. If I'm about to say something really stupid or something that may be offensive or inappropriate I usually catch it before it comes out of my mouth. Today was not one of those days.\n\nI work at a small bakery. It's owned by my best friends mother, and most of my co-workers are also people I've grown up with, so I won't be surprised if I take some shit for this.\n\nThere I am, wrapping muffins like any other work day. On the other side of the table is a female co-worker of mine who is heat sealing muffins. I roll one of the wrapped muffins sitting next to me over to her, however it turns and rolls back to me. In a very poor effort to lighten the mood I decided to compare said muffin to a boomerang, which in turn inspired me to try combining \"muffin\" with \"boomerang\". At first I ended up with a \"boomer-muffin\", but then I went, \"nah, that's dumb\" and tried to think up something better. This is where my mental filter completely shut down. What I was originally going to say here was \"muffin-rang\". At this point things started to go in slow motion, as I could figuratively *feel* the mental filter failing. Before I could stop what was about to come out of my mouth, I loudly exclaimed \"Oh, a MUFFERAANNG-OOOOH NOOOO\". Which was taken in a VERY different way than the innocent wordplay I had intended.\n\nThis got some awkward and somewhat disapproving laughter out of both my brother who was next to me and said female co-worker across the table. After a couple of minutes I had gone back to wrapping muffins. But I couldn't look at a muffin with out thinking about the mufferang and laughing, not laughing at the word itself, but at my complete and utter failure to catch it before it came out of my mouth. This got so bad that I actually had to stop wrapping and walk away from the table for a short time to breathe and get some water.", "summary": "co-workers think I'm perverted after accidentally saying mufferang at work... don't accidentally say mufferang at work ^or ^at ^all ^for ^that ^matter"} {"id": "t3_30g87l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19M] fianc\u00e9e [22F] admitted to having sexual relations with a friend [20M] before we began dating", "post": "My fianc\u00e9e (Sarah for stories sake) and I have been together for a while now. No major issues whatsoever. Before we began \"officially\" dating, there was another guy, we'll call him James, that she was torn with. I'll admit, I knew they were talking at the time, but I decided to continue on and attempt to make a connection with her. Boom. We clicked.\n\n\u00a0\n\n A few weeks later, I asked her where she stood with James. She made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with him and that I was all that she wanted. Great!\n\n\u00a0\n\n A month later, I went out of town for the weekend, and during that time, we talked on the phone and texted constantly. Things seemed normal. As soon as I got back in town, Sarah jumped into my arms hugging and kissing me. A week later, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. \n\n\u00a0\n\nTime passed, and it brings us to the other day. Sarah told me that, while I was out of town, she went to the bar and got pretty drunk. She admitted that she gave James a handjob and he fingered her in return. I was devastated. Sarah made it very clear that she was just drunk, that no feelings were involved, yada yada. Is it right for me to be upset at this? Like I said, we were exclusive, and it was clear to everyone around us, but hadn't made anything official just yet. I forgive her for it, but I can't get that picture out of my head. \n\n\u00a0\n\nShe doesn't think it was very wrong, but I do. Did she cheat? Can I trust her?", "summary": "Fianc\u00e9e admitted to getting drunk and giving my friend a hand job before we were officially together. Can I trust her?"} {"id": "t3_g1dne", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Moving to LA from DC in August/September. When should I start applying for jobs?", "post": "**Background:**\n\nI am a programmer from the DC area. My wife is going to start grad school next Fall, so we will be packing up and moving to LA at the end of this summer (August/September... about 6 months from now).\n\n**Problem:**\n\nI'm afraid that my inability to start the job until the end of this coming Summer will disqualify me from most jobs currently available. I know a lot of companies hire college grads way in advance, but I don't know if companies will hire people this far in advance if they are already in the industry.\n\n**Question:**\n\nDo I apply for jobs now or wait (if so, how long)? On one hand, I want to start applying now so I can have a job secured before I get out there. On the other hand, I don't want to disqualify myself by applying to positions too soon.\n\nI really need advice on this...", "summary": "Definitely moving to LA in 6 months. Do I start applying to jobs now or wait? If I should wait, when should I start applying?"} {"id": "t3_3teutk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (27/M) am in love with someone (28/F) who is in love with me and someone else (32/M)", "post": "Andddd I'm not really sure what to do. She had a thing with this guy over the summer and they really fell for each other. They decided not to pursue it because they live on opposite sides of the country. She and I met a couple months ago and totally hit it off. It didn't take long before we both had all the feels and it became so great. She's even called me her boyfriend a couple times even though we have never full out said \"Yes, we are official.\" However, this guy just came into town and now she has no idea what to do. Apparently, he kissed her, which she was honest about. But I have no idea what's going to happen now.\n\nPart of me feels like she just wants him and I'm the consolation prize. Maybe I'm paranoid. I'm not sure what I should do. I don't want to put pressure on her. I want to respect her feelings and what's going on in her head. But I also don't want to sacrifice my feelings.\n\nIt's causing me a lot of anxiety to the point where I'm not acting like myself around her or anyone for that matter. I'm just nervous. I'm afraid I'm going to lose her. I'm not trying to be weird or anything. I just feel so vulnerable and there's not much I feel like I can do. Can someone please help me or give me advice on what my next move should be?", "summary": "I love a girl who's in love with me and another dude and I'm not sure what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_jh9os", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "\"friend\" really sick; flowers? buying online?", "post": "So, basically I (guy) have been talking to this really great girl since January. We've never had a DTR because we've been really bad at communication. It's taken alot for both of us to open up to each other at all because of past stuff. We're getting better at it, really! I really adore this girl and I'm pretty sure she likes me too. I'd like it to become more serious, but with both of us in school soon, I don't want to get into some unnecessary semi-ldr stress.\n\nShe just got her wisdom teeth pulled out today and she's having a really rough time. I really want to send her flowers (this would be the first time I've done so. I've sent her small things but nothing big.) We haven't ever talked about flowers before. I just trawled through all her blog posts, twitter and facebook (as well as I could) but I couldn't find anything about her saying what her favorite flower was.\n\n* I know she likes flowers. (so yeah, no need to worry about that)\n* Purple is her favorite color. \n* Something kind of romantic and sweet but obviously nothing like roses.\n* Money isn't really a factor, but I know I want to get them delivered asap so that will probably need to be taken into consideration. \n* Where's the best place to get flowers? FTD.com?\n\nI'd love to pick out some flowers and bring them myself, but it's just too far to go. \n\nSorry if this wasn't the best place to submit this, but r/dating_advice isn't very active and something like r/askreddit is just way too active.", "summary": "Really special girl is sick, I want to send flowers. What do I send and where do I get them from?"} {"id": "t3_2qii70", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [28 M] confused if I should ask this [26 F] out on a date, ladies - would you say yes?", "post": "I'm a very confident man, I'm a CEO in my career. I met this \"woman of my dreams\" recently and she's literally every thing I have been looking for in a partner, I even think she has the perfect qualities to be an amazing mother. I am so serious about her and committed to delivering her the best rest of her life. We have hung out as friends over a month now, and she has gotten time to really know the \"inner me\" and she's sincerely said that she likes being with me and that I'm a really *nice* and amazing guy and she's lucky to know me.\n\nHowever, in this instance, I'm intimidated to ask her out on a date. She's younger than me, I'm shorter than her, and I'm also not the out-of-GQmagazine-type-of-attractive-male...plus, she's caucasian and I'm a white-washed asian. I can't help but worry she will instantly reject me without even looking deeper simply based of this fact that we might outwardly \"look like a bad match\". I can't help but be concerned that she will not even be proud to take me home to her parents even if it worked out between me and her.\n\nWhat would you ladies say if you were asked out by a shorter guy who isn't as attractive (appearance, but hot body)? Would you even go out on 1 date and give it an honest chance to work? \n\nFor me personally, I'm completely confident and secure about being in a relationship with her and building a life with her. I just have this other side of me that's been really bothering me and confusing me so just here to find out more. :)", "summary": "Are there any ladies out there that will go out on a date with a guy shorter than yourself and less attractive than other guys, while giving it an honest sincere chance to work?"} {"id": "t3_20k762", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend (26m) did nothing for our 4 year dating anniversary. Am I (25f) overreacting by being hurt over this?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years. He is not always the most socially aware person but he's a good person and I know he cares about me. Nonetheless, he tends to be a bit distant from me sometimes and it hurts my feelings. \n\nYesterday was our anniversary. We are in his home state staying with his mom for a short vacation. We went out to a concert with friends two nights ago and then decided to drive back to his mom's city a night early instead of staying to see another band. This meant we would be going to see one of his favorite sports teams on our anniversary rather than going to a concert (which I personally would enjoy more) or out to eat. I'm not a fan of this sport but I've gone with him to games before and I don't mind going, nor did I mind going this time. \n\nNonetheless. He treated it like any other day. Barely talked to me (we went with two of his friends, a guy and his fianc\u00e9e). I paid for a lot of our food and such because I wanted him to have a good time. I even bought him a jersey as a gift. He was thankful but still aloof. \n\nAfter the game we went back to his friends' house to hang out for a while. Around 11:30 I asked to come back home since we had been up til 4am the night before and I am now pretty sick with a cold. He seemed irritated and made me wait another hour. \n\nThis morning he got up again at 8 and left to go watch soccer with his same friend, so I've been laying here trying to not be sick. \n\nI guess I feel disappointed. I'm not asking for much. I didn't want a gift and I didn't have a problem going to the game or hanging out with his friends... It just would have been nice if he told me he loved me or something? \n\nRight now I feel pretty unloved and kind of like crying, but I'm sick so I can't tell if I'm overreacting. Help?", "summary": "Boyfriend basically ignored me all day during our anniversary and seemed indifferent to me. Am I overreacting by being hurt by this?"} {"id": "t3_3q610z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M24] just had a breakup with my first boyfriend [M22], now I feel bad and guilty", "post": "I broke up with him after 8 months of dating because it didn't feel like a relationship as much as it did a friendship. The sex wasn't great (very routine and boring, as he was closed off and said no to trying new things) and we grew less and less affectionate as time went on, and I just felt like he deserved to find someone who would love him more.\n\nI know I hurt him when I broke up with him, which makes me feel like shit. It hurt me too, because he was my best friend and we got along super well. Knowing that breaking up probably meant losing my best friend made it hard on me, but I also feel like it would have been selfish of me to keep him around just because I liked hanging out with him.\n\nHow do you get over the feelings of guilt knowing you hurt someone who you care deeply for? All I want to do is text him and ask him if he's doing alright, but I think that would be a bad idea. I'm waiting and hoping for him to contact me and hopefully we can continue being friends, but I don't know if that's also me being selfish.", "summary": "Broke up with someone I was best friends with and still cared for a lot, don't know how to deal with the guilt of hurting him."} {"id": "t3_exlw5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Should I go to a local college, a diploma mill, or just enjoy my free time?", "post": "Hey Reddit, I'm in a confusing situation.\nI've got my Associates, but I want to go back to school to finish up my BA. I've already gone to 3 different schools, and I've changed Majors 3 times. \nI don't really like school, but I can see it's importance, and it's something I really want to finish, I just have trouble with motivating myself. \nI have a great job working in IT, and I'm pretty sure my company would help pay for school as long as it's towards a Computer-related degree. \n\nOne of my concerns is that I know I don't want to stay living where I am. I eventually want to move (I don't know where to). I don't know if that will be in a year, or 5 years. I don't want to go to school here for a year, end up moving, and then have to transfer another school to wherever I move to. \n\nI asked around, and was recommended to Devry or ITT, because they have a lot of online classes. While that would make it easy if I moved, I don't want a degree from a diploma-mill. \n\nAre there any other \"online\" colleges that are worth-while? or should I just enjoy myself for now and wait until I move? Should I suck it up and start school, even if it means adding a 4th to my list?", "summary": "I don't know what I want out of my education, but I know I don't want to live here. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_4m9tw4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How can I [20F] build trust in my relationship and my boyfriend [20M] of almost two years?", "post": "Let me start by saying, my boyfriend is a great guy. It has been a rocky relationship but time and time again he has proven that he is willing to put all the effort that is needed to make things work. He has helped me became a better person, helped me get over a lot of issues I have had with myself, and has always been there for me. He is never cheated, and is very open and honest with me. He's an frequent Reddit user so I can't really go into specifics, but incase he does fuck it, it'll be a nice reminder to him how much he means to me. \n\nSo what's the problem? Well to give a bit of background my parents divorced when I was little, not only that but for some reason I was mostly surrounded by unhealthy relationships. I don't dwell on it much and have never thought it affected me. \n\nSometimes this irrational fear comes over me that he must be fucking me over, more specifically that he is cheating on me. I have no reason to believe it other than I can't tell who he occasionally texts. And so far the times I have figured out, it's just friends or family. It's completely ridiculous. Just certain situations or thoughts trigger this overwhelming feeling that he must be doing something wrong. There's very little I can do to shake it off. \n\nI must emphasise that this is mostly comes from me just over thinking. \n\nI want some advice on how I can get out of the habit of thinking this things, or dealing with this insecurities. I know this could be something that ends our relationship and I really don't want that.", "summary": "Irrational and unjustifiable thoughts often make it hard for me to trust my boyfriend. How can I get over this?"} {"id": "t3_45vp7g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] with my girlfriend [21F] of one year, have been having problems because of her low to nonexistent sex drive. How to Help?", "post": "My girlfriend is 21 and I m 20. We've been together for a year and things have been wonderful. We started having sex by the 3rd month, and it started out great (in my head) but I noticed she never initiated and was never actually interested, and asked her but she just kind of ignored the question. I tried doing things differently but it didn't help.\n\nWe have been in long distance for the past 4 months and have 2 months to go. Different countries, not cities so no visits. In this time I learned much about her and her issues with sex.\n\nNow my girlfriend had a rough childhood and was raised not to trust anybody including her mother and father because they have been emotionally abusive and neglectful. As a teenager she didn't date because of the way high school is in the United States and how often guys are just taking advantage of girls and vice versa and all her friends had bad experiences. So according to her she just \"shut that part of her brain off\" and now that we are together much has improved on both of our ends. She loves and trusts me much more than anyone else.\n\nThe problem here is that she gets nervous talking about sex, or even approaching it. She feels nervous every time she mentions it and feels bad for having those feelings and its getting in the way of things for us. For instance, I suggested we just have a virtual shower together and she was just nervous beyond anything, and could barely get a grip on herself so I decided to give her space. She never says anything about me in attraction. I sincerely just want to help her and don t care if we don't have sex again for a while as long as I can help her get past this and truly enjoy herself, cause she is a wonderful person. What should I do? And what might be the reasons behind this anxiety and stress about the subject.\n\nP.S. We were both virgins before this relationship and its our first serious one. And she has mentioned quite a bit that she really wants this to happen for her. For her to enjoy it, and for me to have fun with her.", "summary": "I want to help my girlfriend feel comfortable and understand the possible reasons behind her low to nonexistent sex drive. And does this change overtime?"} {"id": "t3_14l41q", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Failed at flirting on epic proportions, again. Decided reddit was totally the place to get flirting advice.", "post": "I'm 23, horrible at flirting, never had a gf, blah blah blah. NO idea how to flirt. I've asked several of my friends and they all pretty much say that I should be suggestive. So I sent a girl (probably 20-ish), who's number I got a week ago, this:\n\n\"So you don't have work today and I don't have work today. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? :)\" \n\nBecause women love smiley faces right? ...Right?\n\nShe responds with \"I'm at work pal. I close, but it's nice to hear your off. I hope your enjoying your day off. I'm going back to work from lunch.\"\n\nAsked a female friend and she says that the girl was obviously NOT happy with my text and that I was being TOO suggestive...upon review I got the same feeling. So after lurking for a couple years I decided to make an account to get a consensus on how to flirt.", "summary": "How do I flirt when in VERY early dating phase? I'm sure if a lot of us band together we can pull off a decent way of flirting. "} {"id": "t3_3wrhio", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Can I claim myself as an independent if my father pays child support to my mother?", "post": "I am an 18 year old male who attends and resides at a University while working part time. My mother has custody of me and my brother and receives child support from my father for us two. I pay for tuition, housing, food, and supplies from my own money and a combination of scholarships and loans taken out in my name and my name only. My question is, since my father is still paying child support to my mother can I claim myself as an independent for this tax year? Normally my mother would claim my brother one year and my father would claim me and then they would switch the next year but this year since I am paying for everything myself I was not sure if I would be eligible to be an independent since he technically pays child support.", "summary": "Basically I want to know who would be able to claim me on their taxes. Would my father be able to claim me because he pays child support or can I claim myself because I pay for my own expenses."} {"id": "t3_un8mh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "what thing have u been scared to death of but turns out to be something else?", "post": "I had put a new sim card and the iphone pin in between my iphone case and iphone (i normally do this with my bus ticket), and lyed down in bed and was messaging my friend. I had turned off the lights at this point and the pin had fallen out of the case and landed on my shoulder, because it was totally unexpected and dark, i assumed it was a giant but and grabbed it and threw it across the room. only when it hit the wall and make a metal sound did i realise that it was the pin i had put in earlier. i not seen the pin since", "summary": "put pin in iphone case, messaging friend when pin falls out, thought was giant bug, threw across room, lost pin"} {"id": "t3_3d40m1", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[PA] How to find free/cheap legal consultation for possible criminal charges", "post": "Throwaway account for privacy reasons, but for Pennsylvania. \n\nI was confronted by another person making a claim that I am guilty of assaulting this person several years back. While there have been no criminal charges filed, I am 100% certain of my innocence and want to protect myself from any possible damages an investigation may bring (I am a University student so the threat of a faux-trail through the school is my greatest fear facing dismissal/loss of financial aid). My question is how to I go about seeking trustworthy legal advice for the time being so I know which steps to take? Neither I nor my family has any money at this time to afford an expensive lawyer, especially since this is a preventative measure on my part.", "summary": "Was told by someone I assaulted them, I am sure I didn't, seeking information on how to find an affordable/reliable consultation in case criminal charges/university investigations may happen"} {"id": "t3_iy8n4", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Going on a mini vacation soon. How do I still stay good on my diet?", "post": "First of all, I don't know if this is the right place to put this question. So if this is not the right place, I have no problem with you telling me another subreddit to post it to =]\n\nA little background: I am 20/F, 5'1\", and I am on Weight Watchers. So far I have lost 26 pounds and hoping to lose 14 more.\nNow on to the dilemma. On Wednesday I'm heading up to San Francisco for my 21st birthday, and I will be there until the 1st of August. I'm hoping you guys would give me some tips on how to stay on your diet while you're on vacation! \nEveryone is telling me to enjoy myself and forget about my diet (since I've been doing good so far), but I've been slowly losing weight these last couple weeks and I was hoping to at least lose one pound by my next weigh-in (which will be the 5th of August).\n\nCan someone give me some insight on how to still be good? Or do you guys think I should forget about it?", "summary": "I'm going on vacation. Wondering if there is good ways to stay on my diet or if I should just enjoy myself and forget about the diet."} {"id": "t3_386ipv", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[34/f] Is this child endangerment, or are we just uptight? Husband(33/m)'s little sister and boyfriend (27/f, 32/m) are moving into a tent with their daughter(3/f) to grow medical marijuana.", "post": "My husband's little sister has been \"growing\" for many years now, but their latest scheme is a curveball. They were propositioned by a stranger to lease land on a reservation on the other side of the state to farm... only there's no house. They're going to put up tents and live there indefinitely. \"gonna make a million, pure profit, no taxes!\" or something. These guys would be millionaires many times over if a fraction of their grand ideas went as planned, of course! Also, if you want to ~~give them~~ invest some seed money they will pay you back and double your money. \n\nBut this little girl... we think she needs more stability. We think she needs some friends, some socializing, running water, pre-school, a bed, to not be surrounded by pot plants all day long in the middle of nowhere. She already seems very lonely without friends at their current house. I'm aware that children can thrive in all kinds of conditions, and they should be with their parents... but this seems like a new low for standard of living, and we're having a hard time accepting it.\n\nMy husband is talking with his family (parents 60s/m-f, sister 38/f), none of whom like what's going on, but nobody knows what should be done. His parents are considering taking the daughter \"temporarily, until you get settled\", they live about 20 hr drive away from the reservation. Do you think that we should force this? I keep thinking, *well... what if I wanted to spend a summer driving around in a motor home, that wouldn't be completely unreasonable to do with my family...* And I can appreciate camping and living simply and off the grid... but this just seems completely unsafe and irresponsible to us. She is very stubborn and the type who will cut off contact if we don't go along with her, but we are also trying to figure out at what point we need to have an intervention.", "summary": "Husband's doper sister and her doper boyfriend want to create a marijuana commune to get rich quick and they are dragging their 3yo daughter down with them. When/how do we step in and moderate?"} {"id": "t3_3yb13x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] of a year, I feel like our relationship isn't all I want it to be and I don't know how to fix it.", "post": "So recently our friends who have been best friends finally started dating. They are absolutely perfect for each other and it has made me look at my relationship.\n\n90% of my relationship now is sex. I'm not the one initiating. Every time we see each other she has a tendency to start things and i have no idea how to say no. I don't mind it but its to the point where that's most of what we are and I hate that. I always wanted to be in a relationship where we would talk and discuss and laugh with sex occasionally. And there is the second problem, whenever we discuss she seems offended by a lot of what I say. It's as if me having a different point of view than her treason.\n\nAnd another main issue is with me. I have terrible self esteem. Not to the point where its crippling but it is pretty bad. I get jelous easily. Her best friend is male and that makes me worry as I see these other 2 best friends finally dating and how perfect they are. I worry I'm not that for her. Honestly with all the issues recently I have been thinking about ending the relationship but one thing is holding me back. I'm not attractive or at least I think I'm not and I worry that if I leave her I may never find someone else. I know it sounds dumb and its super easy to say \"There are plenty of fish in the sea\" but it's hard to believe. Advice?", "summary": "Our relationship is starting to go down a path I don't want and idk how to talk about it. I'm also insecure and have bad self esteem. any thoughts?"} {"id": "t3_41ckz1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Internal] I [17,M] have feelings for my best friend [17,F] of 3 years. How can I resolve this?", "post": "I've known my friend for 3 years, and we briefly had a thing once during our second year of friendship. Things didn't really come to much and I got clingy and messed things up. I ended up repairing things between us, and we're pretty close friends now.\n\nI see her on a fairly regular basis but we only get to hang out about once a week. Most of our time together is one on one, nobody else around, but occasionally we're at her house with her family watching movies or whatever. \n\nWe're going to prom together (as friends, with other friends) but I want to still take pictures and dance with her and stuff. Hopefully that can still happen, but it wouldn't be a romantic scenario.\n\nI still have feelings for her, and I want to act on them despite knowing it's a bad idea. I really want to try and make something of it but I don't see a good outcome from it. I'm about 85% sure she doesn't share my feelings for her. How should I go about this?", "summary": "I like my best friend and I think it would ruin things if I tried acting upon it. How to resolve issues?"} {"id": "t3_2a6gnm", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Co-worker[F20] seems interested but has no time, she says. Am i being let down easy[M25]?", "post": "Fellow Redditors i need some advice,\nI have been talking to this girl from work for about 2 months. I got her number and seems pretty interested. she said she liked me, \"like a crush, i think your cute and funny\"; however, she said she has no time for a relationship (she works two jobs and says her friends are really important). I invited her to a date with me and she said yes, but flaked on me because she said her nephew was turning one. It bother me a little, i did not tell her anything, i just said next time. I told her today where we stand and she said she cant do a relationship but thinks i'm funny and says she really likes me. I feel she is putting me on the back burner. I saw her today and she said we are just friends. So what is your advice? I think i know to let her go, but i just need someone to see it from outside my perspective. What should i do? Should i keep texting her and make her laugh at work? or back off?", "summary": "Meet coworker and got her number. Said she liked me but said she couldn't be in a relationship, too busy."} {"id": "t3_p5mcc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I have had a long day at work and i have my first day of the semester tomorrow. Why can I not go back to sleep, no matter how hard I try?", "post": "After my 10 hour work shift i decided to go to bed early (around 22 o'clock) so i would be ready for tomorrow. Problem is I woke up at 3.30 and have so far not been able to go back to sleep. \n\nI have not had a cup of coffee since noon, and I only had 4 hours of sleep yesteday, however i do not feel more tired than usual. I am however afraid it will backfire some time tomorrow if i try to stay awake until tomorrow night. \n\nIt is currently 04.46 here in Denmark and some good advice would be appreciated! If you don't have advice, feel free to share similar stories. What is your experience with fucking up your Circadian rhythm (internal clock), succes, failure?", "summary": "Woke up feeling rested at 03.30. Have lectures all day tomorrow. Will my day be fucked if I don't succeed at going back to sleep?"} {"id": "t3_1zi916", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my ex [21F] of 5 months, should I try to talk to her again?", "post": "It has been a little over 2 months since my ex GF broke up with me. We almost never fought during our relationship and didn't have a big blowout at the end. Our problem was that we moved way to fast and nearly spent all our free time together. The first 4 and a half months were incredible and we became deeply infatuated with one another. It seemed like everything was going great and then out of the blue she told me she just became a little burnt out. She discussed with me how we could make things better, but then 2 days later she ended it and crushed my heart.\n\nNow 2 months have passed and I've started casually seeing another girl, but still can't get my ex off my mind. Which isn't fair for anybody. This new girl is super sweet and I really do like her a lot, but I can't help but think about my ex sometimes.\n\nI also have reason to believe my ex may have started seeing another guy but I'm unaware of the severity of the relationship.\n\nSo I guess my question is, should I try contacting my ex to see if she has any feelings for me still, or just leave it be?\nShe meant so much to me and became one of my best friends and I hate having her out of my life completely.\n\nI know I said that I started seeing someone, and I do like her, but we both will graduate in June. I don't know if I should put too much of my heart and effort into a new relationship? I think we both realize that this may just be short term anyways.", "summary": "Wondering if I should try to talk to my ex which I still have some feelings for or just leave it be?"} {"id": "t3_y7xkv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Which one: Chasing dreams and love, or financial responsibility?", "post": "I'm in an emotional bind, and need some outside input for this one.\n\nI had married the love of my life - but she lied, cheated, and ran from me leaving me with the burden of debt, job instability, and emotional stress.\n\nNow that she's own her own, and stable, she's reached out to me. She wants to be friends still (as we once were) and mentions that possibly, maybe, someday we can get back together again. (Married again or otherwise)\n\nThe problem, is you can't just abandon a marriage. You need to get divorced. She wants to just wash her hands and walk away from this - but I'm torn.\n\nOn one hand, I want to chase the fleeting dream of us coming back together, knowing full and well that she's lied and cheated, and betrayed my trust and arguably ruined my current financial situation.\n\nOn the other, I can take her to civil court and make sure she takes some of the debt she put on us with her - as well as my heart. \n\nThis will, of course, ease my personal growth and financial strain - but it will without a doubt ruin any potential future we could have together as well as destroy what's left of a 10-year friendship.\n\nIt's still a very fresh wound, and the future is very uncertain, but I don't have a lot of time before I need to take action. My head and heart are in a constant battle, and it's making me sick.", "summary": "Wife left me high and dry, but says it might work again in the future. Do I make sure she takes her share of the burden through the courts, or do I chase the fleeting dream of 'someday, again'?"} {"id": "t3_2ny7u8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [36M] married over a decade [35F], having invasive thoughts of leaving despite not having many problems in our marriage.", "post": "I recently found myself having feelings for another person and quickly removed myself from the situation well before anything happened. While this other person does bounce around in my head, I don't really believe in these kinds of attractions. I see it more as a possible reflection of something else that's wrong.\n\nLooking back, I'm seeing how my marriage feels much more like a friendship than a romance. I do believe that this happens with many people, though, and keeping high levels of attraction or passion isn't realistic or probably very healthy. Overall, our relationship has been very steady and we've worked through lots of life issues together. The biggest issue we've had is codependency (more so on her side) and relying on lots of things. Through our marriage, we've taken large strides working on these issues, though, and she's become capable of taking care of herself at least monetarily and physically.\n\nLooking at our relationship now, I'm wondering how much of my own depression and anxiety has been affected by the relationship itself. We've rarely done things independently but things have changed and I'm experiencing a little more freedom. I've never ever thought about leaving before and not sure why I can't shake this feeling that it's going to happen. I can barely make conversation with anyone anymore and feel like a zombie walking around without seeing anything. I'm stuck in my head with these thoughts constantly rotating.\n\nI don't know if my wife would ever emotionally bounce back from a divorce. I'm her first and only real relationship and I don't know if she's really ever grieved despite some large losses in her life. I don't know what I would honestly gain from leaving other than being alone.", "summary": "Married w/o kids for over a decade. Recently felt attraction to another which has lead me to wonder if there's something wrong in my marriage."} {"id": "t3_pa4qy", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Help with underemployment in MI", "post": "Hey reddit,\nI used to work between 32-40 hours at a hotel with Marriott. Marriott sold that hotel, and I transferred to another hotel with Marriott as well. I thought that I would be able to work full time there since I worked mostly midnights, but they don't have the same availability and want me to work afternoons. \n\nI cannot work afternoons as I have school and I tutor for a practicum in education in the afternoon... \n\nConsequently I filed for unemployment to supplement my income. Marriott has blocked my claim saying that if I wasn't in school, I could work full time and I shouldn't get benefits. I'm looking at the \"fact-finding form\" right now. I need to respond in 10 days. What should I say or do to get my underemployment?", "summary": "I can't work full time at my new hotel job, filed for unemployment and was blocked by my new hotel job. Need advice on how to handle this."} {"id": "t3_31mmot", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Can Implied Consent uphold in court if it goes that far?", "post": "Hello /r/legaladvice,\n\nThank you in advance for any helpful information you may provide!\n\nThe background:\n\nWe are currently living in an apartment here in **White Plains, NY** here in the U.S. The apartment is just not working out. There are a plethora of issues and the landlord resides in Florida, so any response - while prompt, does not solve the issues at hand. We found a new place in another city, and want to terminate our lease agreement early.\n\nIn the past, our landlord has responded to all inquiries either the day of, or within one day (even on weekends).\n\nSo last Tuesday, I sent her a friendly email requesting her approval to terminate our lease agreement early, and requested her approval to use the security deposit as the last month's rent.\n\nUnfortunately, I haven't heard from her in about a week. In the follow up email I plan to send, I was going to say that if I do not hear back from her, I will interpret that as Implied Consent and will be terminating our lease agreement early, and that she will use the security deposit as last month's rent.\n\nIn the interest of being a good tenant (which we already are, and she's said it and admitted it), I'd like to send the follow up tomorrow (after one full week), as well as a phone call that evening.\n\nIf she decides to take me to court for terminating the agreement without her ever responding to my communications, can my follow up email where I stated the implied consent hold up?\n\nIf you can provide sources, I'd **love** to check those out!", "summary": "I want to terminate my lease agreement and use implied consent if she does not respond. Does that hold up in court?"} {"id": "t3_34iykh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [17 M] Girlfriend [17 F] just ended a two-month relationship yesterday morning and I am absolutely destroyed.", "post": "I love her more than anything, and she just broke up with me this morning. Until the semester ends I have to see her for three classes a day. I really don't know what my plan of action should be: No-contact is not an option\n\nWhat I had with her was probably the best it could have possibly been considering how short the relationship was. I've known her for two years, and have been harboring a crush on her for an extremely long time. She blew away my concept of love completely. The relationship didn't wither and die. We went from 60 to 0 in one day. 16 hours before it happened I would have never expected this. **At all**.\n\nIn her words, she got some \"good advice\" and realized that she \"doesn't have the mental capacity to handle a relationship right now\" and she has also mentioned that I need to be able to support myself emotionally before I can support others emotionally. She's right, fundamentally I have kind of fucked up priorities in my life.\n\nI'm absolutely destroyed right now and all I want to do is to sob into someone's arms. And for the longest time the person I would have run to was her, and now I can't.", "summary": "Girl ends relationship out of absolutely nowhere and I still have to see her every day until the end of school. I was, and still am, completely head over heels for her and am now lost without her."} {"id": "t3_3jq364", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What do I (20m) do about my friend of 8 years (m23) who might be a pathological liar?", "post": "I'll call him Buddy. He isn't a bad person, but he omits and exaggerates information to an unnecessary extent. Between me and multiple of my associates, Buddy tells different versions of stories on many points that make it hard to pinpoint his actual events and motives. He's a wannabe people pleaser. I don't mean that insultingly, he'll reflexibly respond affirmatively to anything without thinking details. (e.g., he asked me to hang out the next day at my place, I said yes. A little later, his brother called about Buddy going to his place at the same designated time, and he immediately said yes in front of me. Buddy didn't bring it up after that, this happens often)\n\nThe thing is, he clearly doesn't mean to do what he does. Still, that doesn't erase that promises become falsified, claims fall through, excuses are default, and reliability is out of the question. I put aside a lot of days to hang or do otherwise, and he extends times and often just cancels, usually without even informing me. It's also what he does to himself, like not getting his license or a job when he makes plans to, and he takes every cop out or excuse he can think of.\n\nThe troubling thing is, Buddy seems very unhappy with himself. He can't pinpoint why it happens or really comprehend/integrate explanations when they're given. He has been given a plethora of sound advice in the past 3-ish years that he's had better influences of associates, and he always acts out \"epiphanies\" that are apparently forgotten and/or repeated later.\n\nI'd normally consider this behavior that of a lost cause, but I'm compelled to believe this is an exceptional case. My manpride holds me back from saying it, but I care for the dude. I don't know what to do, I'm still demoralized and disappointed often, and feel guilty for feeling that way.", "summary": "buddy mixes up stories/reasonings, is behaviorally unmindful, but he's my bro and I don't wanna keep feeling hopeless for him."} {"id": "t3_1lw66p", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "F/19/5'8\" 200lbs - 170lbs I'm so excited!", "post": "Link to my picture: \n\nI posted on this subreddit about 5 months ago. It's taken me that long to drop another 10 lbs but I am just happy that it happened. I recently started some fitness classes at my university's gym and that's what busted me out of that plateau. I did some speed walking with my mom and her friends this summer and that also helped tremendously. \n\nMy big change from my last 20 lbs lost is that I didn't use My Fitness Pal at all. I wanted to \"do it on my own\" in a realistic way that didn't leave me obsessing. I originally just wanted to be under 170lbs, but now am finding that my body looks better and better and is able to achieve more and more with every pound lost. This morning I went into a back bend from the standing position, with a little help from my bed for balance. I'm just so happy with my progress and wanted to share. \n\nAs a somewhat tall girl, it's sometimes hard to find people with similar body structure to use as inspiration. So to anyone out there who looks like me, just know that even 10 pounds makes a huge difference!", "summary": "i lost 30 lbs since january 2013. i'm hype. just wanted to share and talk with the awesome people of this subreddit!"} {"id": "t3_3a0fu6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [F26] just found out the guy [M31] I've been seeing has cancer. What do I do?", "post": "I had been seeing this guy for about six weeks and I was falling in love with him. I've never connected with anyone like this. I know it's a short amount of time, but I just can't explain it and I know he feels the same. \n\nThen last night he told me he had cancer. I don't want to say what kind because I don't want him to recognize this, but he's been in remission for three years and the only reason he told me was because he thinks it's back. \n\nHe's got a doctor appointment scheduled to get a biopsy. He's terrified, as you might expect, and he says he doesn't think he wants me to stay with him - not because he doesn't want me, but because he doesn't want to start anything he can't finish. He doesn't want to leave any \"loose ends.\" \n\nWhen we got together it was supposed to be a casual thing but it quickly became much more than that for both of us. He wanted a distraction, I wanted something fun while I figured out what I wanted. I found what I wanted. \n\nHe's afraid of distorting my memory of him. He's afraid to really let me in. He's got complications and baggage other than this that he hasn't shared with me because he says he never expected we would get this close. He had a child and a wife at one point. I don't think they're around now but I don't know what happened. \n\nI am scared of losing him. I'm scared he won't let me in. I'm scared he will suffer alone to protect me. \n\nI want to be there for him, but I told him if my presence is making his life harder I would walk away at this exact moment. All he had to do was say so and he didn't. \n\nWe're supposed to meet this week and talk about everything. How do I explain that I want to be there for him and that he means the world to me? How do I get him to understand that whatever happened before won't matter to me, all that matters is who he is today and what he means to me?", "summary": "FWBs fall hard, his cancer (possibly) comes back, he tries to walk away to protect her, she doesn't want him to"} {"id": "t3_2shxg0", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by accidentally telling my best friend i'm in love with him", "post": "Intro: This is not a fuck up today, it happened two days ago so not really a tifu.\n\nI have a best friend who lives in another continent. The time difference is ~6 hours and we talk everyday. The thing is I am fully aware that he is an amazing guy and I would totally date him if he lives in the same country as I (LDR is a definitely no-no for me). BUT, he doesn't know this. He is a totally shy guy who never initiates anything first, so i don't really know what's going on in his mind.\n\nHere's the fuck up: I was really bummed beceause i met this guy who lives in another continent (i know right, story of my life) and we really hit it off. This is like the fifth time this happen and my frustrated self did what is the most natural thing: talk (rant) to my best friend about this.", "summary": "told my best friend in another continent that all this while i've been in love with him, got sent to the deepest hell of friendzone."} {"id": "t3_55202k", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My sister [22] is in love with an older man [58]?", "post": "Hey guys, this is my first post on this subreddit so if I've done anything wrong in my post please kindly tell me.\n\nSo my sister has been working for this designer for a while and in that time she met another designer who works alongside her boss. Eventually they got close and she claims that she's fallen in love with this man. But the problem is that she's only 22 and he's 58. He's older than my dad.\n\nI've tried to be as accepting of this as I could when she first told me she had a thing for him, but then eventually, she started crying over him and being really protective over him saying that she gets mad when he talks to other girls or that she's always in a bad mood when he's out of town.\n\nThey've gotten close over the year to the point where they go out for coffee together, and she sees it as a date when in fact it could just be getting coffee together. Its also worth mentioning that he has a girlfriend in NY. And she is aware of it.\n\nThere have been a few times that she would cry over him because she feels that he doesn't show interest in her. Both her best friend and I tried to give her our own advice but she refuses to listen. I've told her that she should just move on from it but she refuses simply because she can't (??). Its so fucking stupid. She's tried to before but her way of thinking that she wont do it because her will won't let her is preventing her. Now she back in that state where she's all happy because she's been having good days with him.\n\nShe wants to go as far as planning on buying him gifts and I told her not to and that I'm unhappy about what she's been doing. And she replied that she doesn't care because she's happy. The only ending to this is that she gets heartbroken.\n\nAm I being too harsh on her? Like I've tried everything but at this point I have no more patience for her crying about it to me because this is all simply her wrongdoing for trying not to act on it.", "summary": "my 22 y/o sister claims she is in love with a 58 y/o man and keeps getting heart broken over him but she refuses to do anything about it."} {"id": "t3_4rjwx2", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "advice on 'trusting' verbal Offer while Waiting for Paperwork via email", "post": "Hey all - looking for advice on how long to wait for official paperwork to be emailed? \n\nMy situation: Interviewed with CEO and another executive with company. Received a phone call Friday after hours from the executive who said I got the job and paperwork would be coming this week. I have to put in my two weeks at my current job, and they understand that my start date will be the 19th. \n\nHowever - I don't want to put in my two weeks until the offer is signed, sealed, delivered in writing. Still waiting on the offer via email. \n\nAm just looking for advice on how to handle this situation? Should I call them/email them just highlighting my scenario about putting in two weeks respectfully? \n\nAm just very worried this verbal offer will be rescinded or revoked because I'm overanalyzing this situation over and over. No background checks or anything required for this job.", "summary": "Received job offer over the phone, waiting for official contract via email. How/when to reach out, or to just wait?"} {"id": "t3_1kc8rz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [17|M] not sure if I truly love this girl or what the heck is going on with myself.", "post": "I met this girl, we'll call her Susie, in my theater class Freshman year (2011) And she completely captivated me. She was the first girl I've ever looked at and thought not that she had a nice ass or nice tits, but I looked at her and went, \"Wow. Shes beautiful.\" \n\nShe honestly wasn't the prettiest girl in the world, but she was to me. As petty as it seems, if I had to pick one girl to spend the rest of my life with and I can't even look at another women, it'd be her. \n\nShe was in my life for a month, and she moved. Now, fellow redditors, I had cancer and cause chemo I have terrible fucking memory. I mean, I don't remember anything in my life until my freshman year of high school bad.. And even then it's very fuzzy. \n\nBut when it came to her? I remembered everything. I remember her voice, almost 4 years later not having heard it. I remember her beautiful singing. I remember her cute little laugh. I remember everything. \n\nI've tried to have relationships and I've tried to move on, but I can't. We never even dated - we never even kissed, and I can't get over her. \n\nI've tried telling other people, and they always tell me it's hormones and that they had the same kind of deal. I don't believe them because their situation is always different. I haven't spoken to or seen her in almost 4 years, and she's still in my thoughts. \n\nreddit, youre my last hope of getting over this girl. If the consensus says it's just hormones or if she was/is my first love, I'll believe either one. \n\nAm I in love? Is it just hormones? How the hell can I get over her?", "summary": "girl was in my life for a month, haven't spoken to or seen her in almost 4 years. Still think about and remember her constantly even through chemo brain. Love or hormones? Wut do?"} {"id": "t3_11w2be", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Dating a girl, things are going good, she's in love with someone else. Again...", "post": "A year ago, I was in a relationship with a girl who had been in love with her married exbf the whole time. I was rebound guy. After 5 months, I found email exchanges and called it quits. \n\nSo I've been dating a lot since, not really letting the last relationship failure get to me. It haunts me a bit, but I've pretty much gotten over it.\n\nI've been seeing a girl for about a week and we talked about levelling-up the friendship, seeing if there was something more than just sexual compatibility and friendship. Last night, she left her Facebook logged in on my computer.\n\nBecause of having discovered that my ex was still in love with her exbf by finding her emails, I took a fear-based looky-loo into my friends' FB emails. I didn't want to move forward in a relationship if her heart wasn't available. I found out that she was, indeed, still in love with her ex. I wasn't hurt or anything. I haven't invested much emotion into this friendship and I haven't let my guard down much. Reading the messages between her and her exbf, I realized that they have something really special and rare. Because of him being involved in treatment and rehabilitation, trying to turn his life around, they can't be together. It was beautiful and tragic and seemed really romantic, the way she told him that she'd always be there for him, still interested in marrying and having kids with him, will love him forever, soulmate, etc, etc...\n\nI just don't understand why she'd consider a relationship with me while still corresponding with her ex in this manner. They obviously both mutually miss and love each other. I don't mind just being her friend and not getting my heart and emotions all wrapped up with her.\n\nHow should I approach this situation? Should I tell her I looked and try and be a good friend until her exbf is available? Should I just gently let her go and move on?", "summary": "Girl I'm currently dating is still madly in love with her exbf, but she's also trying to get me into a relationship."} {"id": "t3_12mncg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "SO is being extreme and over reacting in my opinion. Thoughts?", "post": "My partner [30f] and I [35m] are getting married next week in a very large Italian type wedding. We've been together for 2.5 years. I am not a frequent drinker, perhaps once or twice during the month but I am always in control. She has asked me not to drink at our wedding. When I asked her why, her first concern was that I would always be at the bar. The second concern was that I would be drunk off my mind. \n\nI told her that all my guy cousins and immediate uncles would want to share a drink with me. It's just a cultural thing and out of celebration. I told her that I would be in control and if anything, I would just be having fun with a light buzz and keeping everything in balance. Just having a damn good time with my family and hers. It's a family wedding and my cousins would love to have a drink with me. \n\nShe is pissed off. She says I don't care about her. She took off the ring and said she won't put it on until she is convinced that I care about her. She even went on to say that I don't care about her and didn't do anything extra special for our engagement party which was 3 months prior. She also said that it being our wedding party should make me happy enough and that I don't need alcohol.\n\nI think she is being waaayyy overboard and extreme about the drinking bit. I don't appreciate her reaction either. Overall, I told her:\n\n1. I don't want to get shit faced piss drunk. This is not my intention.\n\nThoughts? Am I being insensitive?", "summary": "Spouse is against me drinking at our wedding party. I want to enjoy drinks with my family. Not planning on getting shit faced drunk. She took off wedding ring and says I don't care about her"} {"id": "t3_2hbfsk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [17/F] hates me [17/M] because I made her fat", "post": "A little background, my girlfriend's an athletic chick who likes to work out often and maintain her figure. I knew her for two years but we've only started dating 4 months ago, we were your usual happy couple exploring things together and one day we decided try out birth control pills as we wanted to do it without a condom. \n\nThat was the turning point where the side effects of the pills (mainly the increased weight) started to kick in, and I was totally oblivious to it. Not noticing it, I continued to ask her to take her daily pill at the scheduled time. \n\nIt's been a few weeks since she stopped the pills, but she still has the extra weight on and she bloody hates me for it. We've talked several times about this and every time she would that she hates me and that my pills ruined her life.\n\nThe most recent message had her saying that she did not want to ever see me again until she feels like it and that she was in a good mood until I messaged her. \n\nThing is, she's currently in her exam period and I'm causing so much problems for her (she told me she cries because of me and what I've done, when I messaged her). With the immense pressure from the upcoming examinations and her confidence being rock-bottom because of me, I feel extremely useless, selfish and stupid. I think I'm a horrible person.\n\nShe mentioned of giving herself a break and starving to get back her body because it's the only way to get it back during this time frame (due to examinations) \n\nI'll give her a break, stop contacting her for now, but what should I do when the situation's cooled down and her examinations are over?", "summary": "Made my girlfriend fat through BC pills because I wasn't vary of her weight gains from the side effects, she hates me to the core now"} {"id": "t3_4xpk8k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25M] am dating [25f], unsure if she wants something serious or casual; how to find out?", "post": "I have been dating this girl for a few weeks so far, but I'm not entirely sure where it is going. I think we work well together, and I am honestly fine whether she wants something serious or casual. Slight preference to something more serious since we match up so well though.\n\nHowever, I can't really figure out what she wants. We haven't had sex yet, we have only kissed. Which I am fine with, I have not tried anything, since I want to do it 'right' and she also seems to be a bit apprehensive about it since she doesn't want us to move too fast. At least, that's the vibe I am getting. So that makes me think she's looking for something serious.\n\nHowever, some other things make me thing she wants to keep it casual. She every time says that we are just hanging out, she invites me to a bunch of things with her friends (guess you can see this as both a good thing and a bad thing) instead of trying to make one-on-one time. We still hang out just the two of us, though. She also says it takes a long time to actually like someone and hasn't been in a serious relationship for two years.\n\nI thought about asking her flat out \"So where do you think this is going?\" but I'm not sure if I want to do that so early on. I just mostly want to know if I should start opening my heart, or keep it shut. So how would I go about that? How do I find out what she wants/what do you guys think her angle is?", "summary": "Dating a girl, going well, but unsure what she wants. don't want to fall for her if all she wanted was to keep it casual."} {"id": "t3_3w04ho", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by holding my newborn son", "post": "Like most other fucks this happened a while ago but [this one] reminded me of this anecdote.\n\nSo on a good morning at work someone called me to tell I became father to a beautiful son. That afternoon I came over to my (back then) GF's house to see my son. Got to hold and admire him.\n\nAfter a while her mother came in and tried to take my son outta my arms like it was hers. Didn't let her and started to frantically swear at her while trying to keep hold of my son at all costs. (Damn difficult to stop someone from doing something without hands)\nPoint was this narcissistic bitch wanted to show my son to their old grandmother. They didn't even bother to ask me to show him.\n\nAfter my rage the GF was so shocked she couldn't breastfeed my son anymore.\n\nLeft my son there in safe arms and left the home to never ever return. Later I learned they called the cops on me as they were scared I would return and take my son with me.", "summary": "Tried to prevent my boy from being taken away from me. Whole family was shocked and acted like I was a psychopath."} {"id": "t3_zxd7m", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Misterious woman tells me misterious phrase. Reddit, can you help me understand what the hell happened?", "post": "Ok, backgroud story. I'm an Italian student that this summer went on a 10 day trip around europe. We visited Amsterdam, Copenaghen and Munchen...but this is not the point. \n\nWhile we were in Copenaghen, something quite unexplainable happened to me. I and two friend of mine were waiting outside a supermarket controlling our backpacks while two other friends were inside buying food for everyone. Mind you, we are Italians in Denmark, we were travelling by ourselves and we didn't knew anyone there. I was talking to my friend about nothing in particoular (how to properly put things inside a big backpack, if I remember), when we saw this woman.\n\n She was probably around 35/40 years old, was wearing worn out clothes and was riding this old bicycle with lots of shopping bags full of empty plastic bottles (later we learned that some homeless people search plastic bottles in the dumpsters to take them to recicle points were they are given money for it). We, obviously, didn't bother...until she went near us. We were quite puzzled, but she didn't seem dangerous so we weren't worried. Then, she approached me, leaned toward me (I was sitting on the sidewalk) and in perfect italian wispered to my ear \"Allow me to congratulate you for the willfulness and strenght of your opinions\" (\"Le faccio i complimenti per la caparbiet\u00e0 e solidit\u00e0 delle sue opinioni\", if some fellow italian has a better translation please tell me!).\n\n What. The. Fuck. I looked at her, mumbled \"thank you\" and then she took her bike and went her merrily way without giving me an explanation. I don't know who she was, why she speaked perfectly italian and most of all I don't know if that phrase has some deeper meaning. This happened the 10th of August; today, I had an illumination: why don't I ask Reddit, that most of the times has an explanation for anithing? This is my last chance to solve this mistery. Thank you for the attention!.", "summary": "misterious woman I've never seen before spoke to me in my language in Copenaghen, telling me a phrase I could not explain y any means."} {"id": "t3_22yqcu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [20M] losing contact with my long distance GF [17F] after 2.5 years", "post": "For the last half of a year, every time I try to talk to her it's only when I begin the conversation - it's been like this for almost every day as well. We talk, then after about a half hour she stops talking to me when we finish discussing about a topic. It's a long distance relationship - I'm a college sophomore, she is a HS senior. \n\nI decided to experiment what would happen if I suddenly decided to not FB message or Skype her, and for the last two weeks she's only talked to me twice: both about prom related stuff. First thing was about the dress she got, I comment, no response. Second thing was the forms I needed to get approved, I comment, she comments, I comment again, no response. Hasn't said anything about me not talking to her.\n\nThe other night I also \"drunk texted\" her a ton of texts (ok, I didn't really text anything, all my other friends who were plastered got a hold of my phone and started texting her cutesy stuff that somehow sounded like me). She just responded with a picture of her dress. (This was before her first facebook message to me, a few days after I started this test).\n\nI think there's another guy involved too. Apparently there are rumors of her hanging around with another guy and people are saying she is getting \"too close\" with him. Now since it's high school I didn't think much about the rumors (such as her holding hands with him) since high schoolers are high schoolers + some of them don't think it's anything to be worried about, but I addressed my concerns anyway and warned her not to always be with her. I had even confronted her about this and after a lot of tears... we had agreed for her to stay away. Yet I ask my sister again and they are still with each other just as often.\n\nMy brain says something is up. My heart is hoping that the brain is wrong. IDK what to do anymore.", "summary": "Experiment to see what happens if I don't try to initiate conversation anymore, GF only responds twice with prom related stuff, suspicions of another guy involved."} {"id": "t3_2lpqdi", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My [M20] girlfriend [F17] of 3 months wants to end things. Never brought up issues before.", "post": "So this girl I have liked for a long time and I started dating 3 months ago. We were good friends before that and I suppose you could say that we had chemistry. We only see each other once a week due to school, but things seemed good at the beginning. After a while, it started to become awkward. The last few times we've hung out it has been difficult to keep a conversation going and when we do talk it feels forced (keep in mind that we had no trouble at all with this as friends and during the beginning of our relationship). For me, I believe this is because I have been locking my self in more and more as our relationship progressed, due to some insecurities I've had in the past and being self conscious about them. \n\nNeither of us brought this up until she told me the other day that she thinks we should take a break. She expressed how it feels like the chemistry is gone, and when their is no emotional or physical aspect to our relationship (I'm pretty flexible with the physical side of things, but it's never been a priority for me since I figured when the time is right that will come naturally) that there isn't really anything there. The problem I have is that instead of bringing up the issue and trying to work on those issues together, she just want to immediately take a break. I understand that there are issues, and that since neither of us has brought them up until now that we are really lacking in our communication. I realize that we need to be more open with each other to get that chemistry back, I just feel as though it's something that we should work on rather than immediately moving on with.", "summary": "Girlfriend and I have not been communicating well, instead of wanting to work things out, she wants to take a break. Not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_2o1w3h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27F] with my SO [28M]. Together 7 years. He doesn't want to get married but will if I change my surname to his, but I don't want to.", "post": "Hi Reddit!\n\nI just want to know if I'm being unreasonable in my demands, or a suggestion on how to mediate this and come to a conclusion.\n\nMy boyfriend (lets call him Dan) has never wanted to get married, but isn't particularly against it. He just thinks it's pointless, but has revealed that he will get married if it's important to me. However, when I mentioned that I wouldn't want his name, he got really hurt and upset that I wouldn't take his name.\n\nI don't want his name because honestly, I think it sounds stupid. It's a target for getting bullied in class should our kids have his name. I like my name and I don't even want to double barrel his name in. He doesn't know this though, he thinks that it's just my name meaning a lot to me.\n\nHe has said that if I won't do something which means a lot to him (taking his name), then he doesn't want to get married. He thinks he's already done quite a lot for me (he's vegan because of me, although I didn't make him vegan I didn't want non-vegan things in the house and he has respected that). However I suspect that he's only doing this because he wants me to do something for him which I don't want to do, rather than something he particularly wants. Kind of like 'Well I'm doing this thing I don't want to do, why can't you?'.\n\nOur relationship isn't in peril or anything, I'm very happy with him and we're planning to have children soon (he's even agreed to raise the kids vegan!). I'd just like an outside perspective.", "summary": "My boyfriend will only get married if I take his name, but I think his name is stupid. I suspect his name doesn't mean anything to him and he's just being difficult."} {"id": "t3_onr87", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Does having the same \"level of intelligence\" make a date more successful?", "post": "18f here, and I've been talking to a guy who is 19. I go to a really good university and I'm studying Physics. We met about 2 months ago and he texts me a lot. We're supposed to hang out when I go back for second semester.\n\nHere's the problem: He's not smart. He's almost at the point where I'd call him stupid. It sounds awful, but it's true. However, he's incredibly nice and charming. We have stuff in common such as skiing/snowboarding and other outdoorsy things but I'm worried that we'll have nothing to talk about besides that. I've always been friends with smart kids (nerds, basically). Does anyone have any insight into whether this sort of match generally works out? I don't want to waste his time or mine and I don't want to lead him on if there's no hope.", "summary": "Guy is stupid. I'm a Physics major. Any insight into whether relationships between two very different people like that tend to work?"} {"id": "t3_353yx5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(update, Jesus what a mess)Me [35F] with my wife [33F] Married 2 years, just found out wife is a convicted felon & other goodies", "post": "Look I'm not proud of this but after talking with her and reading all of the reply's out there I did something that I'm not sure I regret or regret not doing it sooner. I used her ss# and did a criminal background check on her. (yes I used my work place's service for this, again not proud but I did it)\n\nLet's just say that if I had an old printer I would have used reams of paper on it.\n\nIt didn't show any of her juvenile arrests but there were a shit ton of arrests and several more that she didn't tell me about.\n\nWe've talked btw and I told her then to just tell me everything so I wouldn't be blindsided again. She doesn't know I ran this btw. She said she told me everything.\n\nHowever when I view her record she certainly has not told me everything and there is one thing that I am going to confront her about and this now has me doing the pause in where I stand with her.\n\nHonestly I don't know how our car insurance isn't through the roof. Her license had been suspended multiple times and oh btw she had a conviction for DUI causing bodily harm (how that is not a felony I have no idea).\n\nBut the one that hit me in the gut was for solicitation. My understanding of that is that this is prostitution. I've seen online that it can be trying to get others to willfully commit a crime so maybe this had to do with the drugs, I'm not sure.\n\nI know that people are going to scorch me on this but if this was for prostitution I think that is going to be it for me. \n\nNo matter if it is or isn't I'm not happy with her at all right now as I gave her every chance to be honest with me the other night and she didn't tell me about the suspended licenses, the bodily injury or this solicitation. I feel like I'm getting trickle truth here and I don't like it one bit.", "summary": "Did background check and found more \"things\" she didn't tell me about. Going to confront her tonight about the solicitation and if it is what I think it is I might be done."} {"id": "t3_1wz7me", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [22/M] of 1 year is a recovering compulsive liar, but I'm [23/F] scared I'll never be able to trust him 100%.", "post": "I have recently discovered that my boyfriend is a compulsive liar. I came to this conclusion after catching him lying to me about very petty things. I'm good at catching when people are dishonest, because my father was a compulsive liar and emotionally/verbally abusive. I know all of the signs of compulsive lying like the back of my hand. Unlike my father though, my boyfriend does not always lie on purpose and sometimes isn't even aware that he's doing it.\n\nI discovered this with my boyfriend and he immediately came clean. We talked about it at length and he told me that lying was a way to protect himself from his parents and that it just developed into a habit over time. He has been actively trying to work on it. He feels bad for lying, knows how much it upsets me (he knows about my father), and has been really open about everything.\n\nWe plan on attending therapy (couples and individual), but at the moment, it's not feasible, so in the mean time, we've just been working on it by ourselves. We've been busy reading a lot of literature on compulsive lying to educate ourselves about it. Even though I trust that he's wanting to/actively trying to fix this, I still have lost a lot of trust in him due to his past lying. It wasn't even anything big like cheating or something that would make me consider leaving him, but lying is lying, and I already have trust issues because of my father.\n\nI want to be able to trust him, because he's the sweetest guy I've ever met, would do anything for me, and we love each other a lot. Can I ever truly get over my trust issues and feel that I'm able to trust him, if he's able to overcome his lying habits?", "summary": "My boyfriend is a compulsive liar who is recovering/willing to change and seeking therapy, but I am worried that I will always question and wonder and will never be able to trust him completely."} {"id": "t3_1kstwf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Gf[22F] dumped me[22M] and soon will (probably) hit it off with my friend[22M]. How should I handle it?", "post": "She and I have been together for 5 years. There was a time (~2 years ago), during which, whenever I got drunk I would occasionally throw fits of jealousy, or scream curses at her (no physical abuse). Most of the time these bursts were unjustified. During some of my escapades(~7 in total) a good friend of mine would sometimes comfort her, if she got too upset.\n\nShe broke up with me about 2.5 weeks ago, stating that she probably didn't love me anymore and that she felt this way for quite some time. We handled it quite amicably. During the break up I asked her whether she had feelings for my friend, to which she responded \"I don't know\".\n\nA few days ago we were discussing some practical matters when she dropped this : \"If he were to make a move on me, I'd seize the opportunity and get with him\". That sounded devastating. In my opinion, it would be very low of both of them to hook up/start dating, if only because we haven't even been separated for a month, and that would crush me (selfish, I know). Oh, and my friend is in love with her, and has been, so he will definitely make a move.\n\n* Should I try to find out if anything happens/happened between them? \n* Am I completely wrong in thinking that it's low of them to hook up, knowing how that would make me feel and given the small amount of time passed?\n* If something happened, I'd have to stop seeing my friends, since said friend is the center of our group (yes my ex still hangs out with our friends, since she doesn't have any of her own). Can this situation be handled better?", "summary": "Gf left me after 5 years. 2.5 weeks passed and she's talking about getting together with my mate. That would crush me and I'd have to stop seeing them and my other friends."} {"id": "t3_3uf58v", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by kneeing my son in the face", "post": "No, I'm not an abusive father. Several months ago, I angrily kicked a backpack full of textbooks for an unfair grade I received in college. The toenail on my big toe died and a new one is growing in, only it's becoming ingrown all along the width of my toe. I was barefoot and my 4 y/o son was playing and crawling around and he put all of his weight on my toe with his hand. I shrieked and unconsciously kneed him in the forehead, hard, causing a substantial bump. I felt really bad and he was of course super pissed and crying. I'm much more careful now.", "summary": "4 y/o son put all of his weight on my hurt toe and I accidentally kneed him square in the forehead."} {"id": "t3_3n5w0x", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not understanding anatomy.", "post": "So this wasn't today, but many years ago. Worse, it's a story I was told by my mum, because she was there.. but I think its worth telling.\n\nSo my brother noticed one day that his cat had several bumps on his stomach, and he was a bit concerned about it. He booked an appointment to take the cat over to the vets to check it out. Now, if you've got a cat, you know it's a challenge to get them into a box to go to the vet (the ONE time they don't want to be in a box) without being mauled. He didn't have the usual vet-box thing made of cardboard you can get, so he just had it in a storage box with holes he cut out. He needed somebody to prevent the cat escaping, and to hold it in the drive over to the vet, so my mother went along to help.\n\nThey get to the vets, and the vet gets the cat out of the box and asks what the problem is. So my brother tells him.\n\n\"He's got these little bumps on his stomach. I thought maybe they could be tumours or something.\"\n\nThe vet has a feel and can't find them. My brother has a feel and finds them, and guides the vet.\n\n\"Oh, I see. No, those aren't tumours.\"\n\n\"So.. what are they then?\"\n\n\"Those are his nipples.\"\n\n\"...but he's a boy.\"\n\n\"Yeah.. Don't *you* have nipples?\"\n\nAnd with that, my mum burst out laughing and my brother goes red in the face. \"Oh, yeah\". They put the cat back in the box and took it home. My brother promptly changed vets.", "summary": "Brother took his cat to the vet mistaking its nipples for something wrong, and made a dick of himself when he thought a boy-cat shouldn't have nipples."} {"id": "t3_129qt8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I want to know how he feels (M34 and F24)", "post": "We've known each other for three years. We're mostly pen-pals, though when I was living in his city we were more actively friends but he was in a relationship at the time so it never went further. He is Spanish (from Spain), and in his letters he calls me \"querida,\" which is difficult to translate as a single word in English. Could mean anything from \"dear\" to \"mistress.\" Lately he's been asking me to send him photos of myself, which I find an encouraging sign. He often compliments me. I'm visiting him soon and want to know what to expect. What do you guys think?", "summary": "does calling me a petname and asking me for pictures of myself mean my long-distance penpal has romantic feelings for me?"} {"id": "t3_33xgt5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (29 F) with ex (29 M), wondering if I should try and start things again?", "post": "My ex an I broke up in December for the following reasons:\n-Possibly incompatible future plans\n-Different personal habits (he's very meticulous, I'm pretty slap dash and we get annoyed at each other)\n-He messages other women and numerous points in our relationship, even after we agreed to be monogamous (this is the big one, of course)\n-He's from a different culture and making his family accept me would be difficult.\n-Different communication styles (more open vs contained)\n-When together, we both felt hesitation/had difficulty committing to a future together.\n\nThe following is why I want to get back together:\n-I miss him\n-He's said he could stop messaging others/commit if we get back together\n-I don't know if I'll ever find anyone that I'm that connected to\n\nIs this relationship worth retrying on? Help. I have mixed feelings.", "summary": "Feeling the urge to get back with my ex, should I try it? Should I give it more time and see how I feel?"} {"id": "t3_16sw9d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I (M20) give my ex (F20) more time to get over me?", "post": "Hey guys and gals,\n\nSo recently, within the past week, I broke up with my girlfriend (20)of almost 10 months. We had a pretty good thing for the most part but I (20) could't continue the relationship due to sexual reasons. \n\nSo I broke up with her and she took it pretty badly at first, but after around 2 days she seemed better about it and we smiled and talked and laughed with each other like we used to.\n\nNow, one of my fears is that I haven't given her enough time or space to get over me properly. I know she's a big girl and can handle herself, but we were each other's first true love. So I think it may be harder to get over me than I realized and I'm wondering if I'm making a mistake by continuing to talk with her so soon after our breakup.\n\nI've told her my fears and how it may not be a good idea to talk and what not but she didn't seem like it would be an issue. But now I want your opinion reddit. What would you do?", "summary": "I'm worried I'm not giving enough space for my gf to get over me in our post-breakup state."} {"id": "t3_272eu1", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not crashing at my friend's house; crashed my car instead", "post": "This was actually 2 years ago.\n\nSo at my old job - working at an audio-visual company - I had a particularly busy week. I had to do audio and video for a major health conference and i had to set up most of the stuff by myself. between setting up, running the conference, and striking, i put in about 32 hours in 2.5 days. Very tiring. I went to bed that night at my usual time but didn't think anything of it.\n\nwent to work the next day, and had a regular day, and then went home to get ready for a gig i had with my band at the time. i should also mention that at the time i was seeing a girl who suddenly pulled the 'i don't think we should see each other any more' card on me, not to mention the stress of my job was piling up (I was already looking for something else). I took it upon myself not to have a drop of beer that night; obviously, because I was driving. I had a lot on my mind and i was more tired than i realized.\n\nAfter the gig I dropped my friend off. He offers me his couch, and i politely decline, citing prior plans the following morning (it was Easter long weekend and Good Friday was the next day; I had to be at church). So I start the 45 minute drive home.\n\nEverything was normal until I was about 10 minutes away from home. I fell asleep at the wheel, and for about 5 minutes I cruised. I think because I had done the drive so many times before, my body was used to things subconsciously. I hit a highway median at 120km/h (75mph for the Americans), spun three times, and then came to a stop in the middle of the highway. it was 2am, so there was minimal traffic. I managed to somehow get out of the car (without getting hit!), dial 911 and then my mom at home, and wait for an ambulance.\n\nI'm so very grateful to be alive, but I still kick myself from time to time about not taking up my friend on his offer to sleep over.", "summary": "worked super overtime, played a gig, didn't stay at my friend's place, fell asleep and wrecked my car."} {"id": "t3_2q6i5g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [35F] with my sorta-kinda-but-not-really dude [36M] of 6mths... Complimented me in an angry way, lol. Genuine or BS? Who can distinguish? And wtf is his issue?!", "post": "Ok so same dude (mentioned in previous post) got into a discussion & he brought up how my ex used to tell me I wasn't good enough & that I was lucky to be w him etc & so I asked if that was his reasoning too for not wanting to be intimate w me anymore.\n\nWell, he proceeded to let his temper rise & started angrily telling me how it's just the opposite...that I'm TOO good for some guys especially too good for him cuz he's selfish & can't/doesn't appreciate me & that any guy who comes across my path is a lucky man etc etc & how I have a huge heart, always thinking of others & so on. \n\nSoooo I don't effing get it! Is he genuine? Or is he full of shit? When I think about what he said, it makes me feel like he had/has feelings for me even though he denies everything. Am I crazy for thinking that way? If not, wtf is his deal? I don't necessarily think he's playing games as he's fairly blunt & his actions/words are good, but then again being FULLY AWARE of how I feel about him, he tells me earlier how some chick he used to hook up years ago randomly msgd him & they reminisced & gonna meet up soon as he gets back outta state which is prob within the month. I'm so sad. I need to let it go.", "summary": "Me:35F. Him: 36M. You're too good for me...is this a sincere question or is it just bs & if bs....WWHHYY????!!"} {"id": "t3_37n4ru", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "PSA: Endomorphs, ectomorphs, and mesomorphs are not real", "post": "In the general weight loss and fitness community, I frequently hear these terms casually thrown around to explain one's ability to lose/gain/maintain weight at a certain rate. From my tattoo artist who is now a competitive bodybuilder to my SO when we started this journey, it has been a consistent cause of frustration for me, as these terms- as well as constitutional psychology in general- has been discredited for years.\n\nConstitutional psychology was developed by a psychologist named William Herbert Sheldon in the 1940's. He asserted that the human body could be split up into three \"somatotypes\"- the endomorph, ectomorph, and mesomorph. He wrote a book on the topic in the 50's called *Atlas of Men*. Each somatotype was characterized as representing a different temperament, level of intelligence, and overall value. It had/has foundations in racism and antisemitism. \n\nThe three types were described as follows (from Wikipedia): \n\nEctomorphic: characterized as linear, thin, fragile, lightly muscled, flat chested and delicate; described as cerebrotonic inclined to desire isolation, solitude and concealment; and being tense, anxious, restrained in posture and movement, introverted and secretive.\n\nMesomorphic: characterized as hard, rugged, rectangular, athletically built with well developed muscles, thick skin and good posture; described as somatotonic inclined towards physical adventure and risk taking; and being vigorous, courageous, direct and dominant.\n\nEndomorphic: characterized as round and soft with under-developed muscles and having difficulty losing weight; described as viscerotonic enjoying food, people and affection; having slow reactions; and being disposed to complacency.\n\nI just wanted everyone to recognize that though it would be very convenient to have this wonderful defiance of the laws of thermodynamics to excuse the inability or lack of desire to lose weight, they have long since been disproven and to use these terms is intellectually dishonest. Barring other physical disabilities, your body type does NOT determine your ability to lose or gain weight at a relatively normal pace.", "summary": "Constitutional psychology has been discredited as a serious scientific theory. With a background in eugenics, mesomorphs, endomorphs and ectomorphs as terms can be damaging in one's ability to achieve their weight loss goals."} {"id": "t3_4e04uy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "When/How should I [21] tell him [21]?", "post": "So I think I may have gotten myself into a bit of a mess. I've been seeing a guy, let's call him Andy, for a few weeks now and things are going good between us. He treats me so much better than any guy I have dated in the past year. We get a long really well, he is kind, funny, respectful of boundaries, and is interested in getting to know me. It's made me realize how bad the guys I dated before were for me. There is one problem though, and I'll fully accept the consequences if it causes things between us to go south.\n\nHere's a little bit of back story: I met him through his roommate (Patrick,26) which I used to have a pretty big crush on. Over the past few months I have been going over to their place to hang out with all Patrick and all his friends as a way to get closer to him, but during these events I didn't really talk to him at all. I was always playing darts with Andy and talking to him and a few other people at the parties.\n\nAbout a month or two ago, I ended sleeping with Patrick even though I knew he wasn't interested in dating me. We were both pretty intoxicated and haven't brought it up since. I continued going over to his place because we are still friends. During another party I got really intoxicated and ended up making out with Andy, and we've been talking nonstop and hanging out since then and like I said things are going pretty well.\n\nIf things get serious between us, I feel like I should tell him about what happened between Patrick and I because I wouldn't want him to hear it from someone else or think that it was anything than what it turned out to be (NBD).", "summary": "Had sex with the guy I like's roommate before we started getting friendly with each other not sure how to tell him."} {"id": "t3_owzeq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is there such a thing as being too nice?", "post": "Hello again /r/askreddit.\n\nStory:\n\nI was talking with two friends, one male and one female, about our love lives. They both are in relationships, the male just got with one girl, while the female has been dating this guy for a year and a couple months. Point is, they (sort of) know what they are talking about.\n\nWhen I told them who I like, they said that I make it really obvious that I like them, and that she thinks I am \"too nice\" to have her say something about it. And that I do this with every girl that I like, which had me thinking.\n\nSo I was wondering, is this a good thing or a bad thing? I mean, being mean sure doesn't sound like a good way of changing this.", "summary": "When getting to know a girl who you like, is there such a thing as being too nice, to a point where they can't tell you what they think?"} {"id": "t3_4nwbvn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with the girl im persuing [24 F] for about 7 months now and I'm unsure of what to do.", "post": "So a quick background. Both me and the girl I'm seeing have had relationships in the past where we both just kind of dive right in/love at first sight kind of a deal and this time on our first date 6 months ago we said we want to take it slow cause she just got out of a 4 year relationship. We both are very different people (me: scorpio, her: gemini) and it shows very much from family background to life experience. However when we hang out or see each other at least once a week we have tons of fun and I introduced her to new experiences. FYI we have no slept together. The most is peck on lips and holding hands.\n\nSo my issue is that it seems I put a lot of effort into things like making the plans for the date, making sure her birthday is flawless, lots of surprises, giving her career and life advices, making food and everything for her. In short, I make her very happy but once in a while I do upset her because I tend to be very intense with questioning. Once in a while she would want to make the plan to see me. She's hesitant on me meeting some of her friends (I've met one Best friend) and it just sometime doesnt really seem like she shows interest. So I'm not sure if shes just stringing me along or if this is what it means to take it slow because I honestly don't know what that terms mean. As of now I'm not sure whether I should just stop chasing her or just endure the process of this taking things slow.", "summary": "Pursuing girl for a long time, not sure if shes playing with me or really just want to take it slow. Give up or continue?"} {"id": "t3_qq9jm", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Has anything ever happened to someone or something that was really bad but you just couldn't help laughing your ass off because of how funny it was? Story inside.", "post": "My kitten was walking about on the table we eat food on, and after we had put away shopping, a few shopping bags were left on the table. One in particular was eyeing the kitten and he definitely did not like it. He sat there for a good 2 minutes, getting ready to pounce after he had had enough. He pounced and none of us were prepared, because we didn't think the cat was actually that stupid. This bag he pounced for was situated at the very edge of the table, with the bit you put shopping in front of him, so he dived into that. He fell off the table, in the bag, and sprinted blindly to try and get it off. I made my way after him when I realised he had a bag over him that could suffocate him. He made it into the living room, where he had left the bag behind. I don't even know how he ran because he was trapped in a bag. He was hidden for only 10 minutes or so, unfazed by this incident, and had another go at the mischievous bag. I was laughing my ass off the whole time, and at the end felt bad for laughing.", "summary": "My cat jumped into a shopping bag and fell off of a 3 foot 2\" (something like this) table whilst in the bag and I laughed. It was funny all right?"} {"id": "t3_nopep", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I fix my life? friendless, no socail life, etc.", "post": "Im 20 in Febuary. No friends. Live at uni accommodation, find it hard to be socail. Not been out with friends since may 2011. No friends since around 1006/7.\n\nIm sick of having no friends that I can call up and go for a drin kwith, or whatever. I find it hard to be socail, and next year im going to be living alone unless I manage to find someoen that would want to share a flat with me. Im thinking of checking into a hotel on my birthday so that my housemates think ive gone home, and that my parents think im out celebrating my biirthday,\n\nThe last 3 summers I have spent the 3 months in my room playing video games. I dont want to spend another 3 months this summer doing it.\n\nSeriously dont know how to fix it.", "summary": "No friends. 3 months to make friends that will want me to live with them next year, or im going to end up living ALONE for the next 1 year."} {"id": "t3_3b5pim", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my sister [19 F], she's severely mentally ill and lashes out at me, parents expect me to just take it", "post": "I don't want to write a wall of text here, but basically since my sister was diagnosed with her laundry list of mental illnesses (bipolar disorder, eating disorders, social anxiety, depression, and so on), she's turned to me as her main target of her frustration. \n\nIf I get up for seconds at dinner, she throws her food down and says she's not gonna eat anymore, making me feel guilty for her restricting her food intake. If I want to watch something on TV in the family room and she doesn't like it, she will say something very hurtful to me, throw something, and so on. \n\nI've tried talking to both of my parents (both in their mid-50s) about this, my father takes the \"she's mentally ill she can do whatever she wants\" kind of route with handling her. He does whatever he can to keep the peace with her, which means he just tells me to \"shut up and take it.\" My mom is a little more understanding, but she still blames me for all of the lashing out my sister does at me, even if it's unprovoked (99% of the time it is). \n\nIt's getting to the point that when she sits down next to me I feel that she's going to claw my eyes out, I don't feel safe or welcome at all, and I just sit in my room most nights to avoid her behavior. \n\nI'm still a student and work part-time, and can't afford to move out, and for the rest of the summer I have to live at home before university starts back up again. What can I do to deal with this situation?", "summary": "My mentally ill sister bullies me to the point that I feel unwelcome and scared at home, and my parents don't do anything to support me."} {"id": "t3_4jp4te", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [40F], how on earth do you start dating after separation/divorce?", "post": "I am separated and will likely be divorced. My husband and I have been together since I was in college and I literally feel like I have no idea how to date. Everything is online? God I feel so old saying that. I know Tinder is mostly for hookups? I'd like to go on some actual dates, but am not looking for anything serious, just want to start meeting some people. But having sex with someone, I don't know at this point. I was never much into casual sex (serial monogamist here) so that thought terrifies me too. I really have no idea what the best way is to go about putting myself out there a bit. I'm generally pretty attractive, decent body type, so I get attention from men but dating...?? Ugh.", "summary": "It looks like I'm getting divorced, have been with only my husband since college. How on earth do you start putting yourself out there?"} {"id": "t3_1svsmu", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[28/m] My fianc\u00e9e [27/f] doesn't clean up after herself. How can I get her to be more proactive about cleaning without upsetting her?", "post": "My fianc\u00e9e have lived together for 2.5 years now, but the cleaning issue hasn't been much of a problem until recently. Previously we lived in a 900 sq/ft apartment, so it was easy to keep tidy. Now that we have moved into a larger home, there is always some sort of mess somewhere. In the bathroom, in the kitchen, etc.\n\nI think I do a good job of cleaning up after myself, but I don't clean up after her. I feel it is her responsibility to clean up after herself. However, when I ask her to clean up her mess, she says that she has cleaned up after me in the past, and I should return the favor. That's fine every once and a while, but the mess is always about 80% hers and 20% mine.\n\nIt puts unnecessary strain on our relationship and I am seeking a resolution. **My goal is to find a resolution to the bickering over cleaning and it would be an added bonus if she started cleaning up after herself more**.\n\nI can't seem to come up with a good resolution myself. I thought about just silently carrying the weight, constantly cleaning up after her, but I feel like it would go unappreciated and that it would be positive reinforcement for her \"bad\" behavior.", "summary": "Fiancee doesn't clean up after herself as much as I would like and we fight about it. I want to stop the fighting so I am seeking advice."} {"id": "t3_395tmp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[29F] close friend[28F] keeps trying to sleep with all of my friends and I'm starting to get frustrated\u2026is she being disrespectful or is this normal behavior?", "post": "I have a very good friend who is in an open relationship, let's call her Sara. She is married to a man, but they have an agreement that allows her to sleep with women as long as she asks for permission from him first. She is not allowed to sleep with men. \n\nI'm totally fine with this \u2013 every relationship has a different set of guidelines and expectations. Whatever works, works.\n\nThe issue is lately she has been very aggressive in her pursuits of bedding women. I'm a lesbian (Sara and I actually briefly dated in high school) so I have a lot of friends in the LGBT community. Once Sara finds out that one of my friends is into girls she then proceeds to ask for \"permission\" if she can sleep with them and usually ends up doing that.\nAdditionally, she often makes sexual comments about our past sexual history in front of others.\n\nMy best friend is straight, and she is even constantly making sexual comments about her and her friends\u2026 whether they are straight or lesbian.\n\nYesterday, she basically asked me if it was ok if she hung out with my ex-girlfriend for the sole purpose of sleeping with her.\n\nI have no issues with polyamory or open relationships, but I'm starting to find her behavior very disrespectful and I feel as if she is becoming a liability to hang out with. It's to the point that we have to warn our friends in advance that she might *try* to sleep with them.\n\nAm I over-reacting or is she sort of out of line here? I spoke to my best friend about it and she agreed that Sara is being a bit disrespectful, but we are not sure if this is just because we aren't too familiar/comfortable with the swinger lifestyle. She is the only person we know in an open relationship.\n\nReddit, what do you think?", "summary": "Close friend is in an open relationship and keeps asking me and my friends for \"permission\" to sleep with our friends or past lovers. Not sure if she is being disrespectful or not."} {"id": "t3_3uc33z", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU when my boss accidentally intercepted a private message.", "post": "Just happened today. We use an internal messaging application software at work which has been great for communicating with other teammates. A lot of us have started using it to complain about things we are not happy about at work. Doing some research after a few got worried, we looked into the privacy policy. We found out that the one on one chats where not accessible by the company, unless they asked the 3rd party and had good reason to have access. That being said, there was nothing that bad to warrant that, so we continued to use it to complain to each other.\n\nThis leads me to today where just as I am about to go home my manager calls me in to a private meeting looking really upset. Then they mentioned the program name and that they had received an email, and suddenly I realized I had fucked up.\n\nOne of the quirks of this program is that when someone is offline it emails them the message. A recently ex co-worker is still active on the chat for quick questions for the next 2 weeks. They came online so we started having a conversation, then another co-worker walked up to me for a chat who has been having a rough week and complained about our boss. When they finished their rant, I then messaged my ex co-worker that my boss wasn't popular with the staff at the moment as that was the second minor complaint I had heard that week. They had gone offline, so an email was sent to their old work email. Past employees emails get sent to the boss, in case important emails are sent to them. \n\nSo after the meeting I still have my job. I had an awkward conversation with my boss and I feel really bad, because my boss is a really nice person that I enjoy working with. In the end it was actually a constructive conversation and they just wanted to know how they could improve. We discussed issues with how things are operating and what is going on to change those things. Regardless of the good that came out of it, I don't think I will be able to look them in they eyes for a while.", "summary": "Message program at work, emailed a private message between a past co-worker and myself to my boss saying how people where not happy with them."} {"id": "t3_exei6", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Can someone please help me find a PA job in Los Angeles?", "post": "This is a complete shot in the dark, but I'm bordering on desperate so here goes:\n\nIf any redditors in the L.A. area need a PA, please please consider me. I'm a college grad with lots of multi-media knowhow (AVID, FinalCut, CS4) and I need steady work badly. I had a temp job with Google that lasted 2 years, and I assumed (wrongly) that it would look good enough on a resume to land me another job. I'm running on empty, I moved back home and it's clearly becoming a financial strain on my parents. I'll work infinite hours, and work hard. I'll start at the bottom and work my way through smiling. I have no ego, I have no attitude. I just want to work, earn enough to move back out, and get my life going. \n\nThanks to anyone who takes the time to read this.", "summary": "I'm running out of options and I need work, I'll work infinite hours, I'll be happy to do just about anything. And once I have the ability, I will plan to pay it forward to another redditor."} {"id": "t3_ytds3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, how do I stop dumb teens from doing lousy things to my driveway/house?", "post": "Anyway, there are these teenagers who live down the block. These teens used to be \"friends\" with my brother until early this summer. \n\nOne night, these kids wrecked all the flowers in my backyard. Thus, my brother (14) confronted and stopped hanging out with these kids. \n\nSince then, they've been annoying the family. They've been pouring salt to the back of our cars (as-salt-ing? ..no?), playing ding dong ditch, and leaving trash around the yard. I'm almost positive that the same kids who used to hang with my brother are the offenders. When they come over and ask for my brother and my brother refuses to see them, the next day I see stupid crap like this in the yard.\nI know the things they do are insignificant, but it really does get annoying after their sad attempts. \n\nWhat can I do to make them stop these shenanigans?\n\nHere's the catch; I don't want to confront their parents, mainly because they're okay with their children's behavior.", "summary": "Annoying kids who leave trash/other stupid things in the yard/do other stupid stuff to annoy brother and the family; how can i stop without confronting their parents."} {"id": "t3_f8pr0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Have any of you (or your kids) managed to pull a dresser (or other piece of furniture) down on top of yourself?", "post": "I was about 4. We had a HUGE white dresser (probably just a normal one, but in my memory it was HUGE). And I put all my clothes in the top 2 drawers. That way, I had empty space at my level in which I could play games, or hide things, or whatever. Also, I used to climb on top of the dresser a lot and heavy drawers were hard to pull out to make steps to get on top of the dresser. This created an unstable equilibrium which I was not aware of at that time. Well, I was playing near my dresser one day, and bumped into it and it came toppling over on top of me. It ended up falling half onto the bed, so it didnt squish me. But I was terrified. And that was my first lesson on \"center of gravity.\"\n\nMy roommate thinks I am strange and she never did that. Bueller?", "summary": "I put all the clothes in the top of the dresser, bumped it, it came crashing down, only to be caught by my bed."} {"id": "t3_suscr", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Parents' divorce/remarriage predicament, please help", "post": "Throwaway account because my boyfriend doesn't use Reddit, and I'm asking on his behalf.\n\nReddit, please help me out. Here's the story. My boyfriend's parents are getting a divorce because his dad has been cheating on his mom with another woman via the Internet for over a year. They broke the news to my bf the day before his birthday. I know, right? Pitiful. His dad is a scumbag, I've never liked him. My bf doesn't like his dad either. \n\nAnyway, his dad called him today to tell him that he and his new woman are getting married in JUNE, and they asked if we could go. Of course, my bf absolutely does not want to go, and since his father doesn't have any friends, he'd probably end up being his best man, or at least one of his groomsmen. But here's the catch- his father pays his phone bill, car fixes, and car insurance, and my bf is afraid his dad will cut him off financially if he doesn't go (although my bf pays his way through school, pays his own rent, pays for his food, lives in a whole other state than his parents, manages to support himself). Is that irrational for him to think that his dad might cut him off if he doesn't go to his wedding? Has anyone else been in a similar situation?", "summary": "Bf's dad is a jerk and he's getting married to woman he cheated on his wife with, wants his son to go to his wedding but he doesn't want to go, afraid of being cut off financially."} {"id": "t3_27i31s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (23m) girlfriend (23f) taking anti-anxiety meds and leads to a dead bedroom. Am I being selfish in getting frustrated?", "post": "Keeping this brief. My gf started taking anxiety meds not too long ago, and as a side effect, it killed any sort of sex drive she had. I mean, KILLED. We have sex once a month, if I'm lucky.\n\nNow, I plan on marrying this woman. She's simply perfect, no other way to put it. However, she hasn't really talked about getting therapy for her anxiety, and sees the meds as a solution - for now anyway. \n\nBut if I'm marrying her, I don't know how long she's planning on staying on the meds. She's a very busy person and has very little time for individual therapy. She could be taking the meds forever. I simply don't know. She doesn't appear to know either. I have to be honest - if I'm marrying this woman, I am NOT excited about the prospect of having sex once a month for the rest of my life.\n\nWe've talked a bit about it now and she's apologized, but there's nothing she can do if the pills are killing her sex drive. She said if I *really* want to, we can have sex anytime and she'll say okay. But I have to be honest, having sex with someone who isn't in the mood and is very difficult to get in the mood is very, very unsatisfying. \n\nI've tried talking her into taking therapy so she can get off the meds eventually, but she works incredibly long hours and is tired often, and is simply not interested in any long-term help. Yet.\n\nWhat do I do from here? I really don't want to end the relationship over something like this, but this is getting to be really frustrating. I haven't masturbated this much since I was single. I understand she's taking meds for her issues, but I feel like a dick for compromising what we have because we don't bone more often. \n\nAny help / advice? Anyone been in a similar situation?", "summary": "we never bone anymore because of medication side effects. No indication she wants to get therapy. The lack of sex is driving me crazy."} {"id": "t3_2aehof", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (26m) found my ex's (29f) messages to her ex on our vacation. WTF do I do?", "post": "Gf and i have been dating for about a year. Things have been good.\n\nJuly 3rd we leave for road trip to east coast. It's great, were excited and happy.\n\nJuly 7th, while she sleeps I look at her phone. I had a suspicion she was messaging someone through this game. Open up game and there's a 20+ game record with her ex. Open up games and messages read:\n\"Hello handsome\" July 5th\n\"We should have a make out session\" \n\"I'd love to have you on my boat\"\n\"I dreamed about you last night\"\n\"We should meet up soon\"... \"Yeah we should\"\n\nWith other shit in between. July 5th we were in NYC and having a blast.. Truly romantic in my eyes... A perfect day together. She sends that shit. \n\nJuly 8th were on our way to Philly. I open up the game like I'm bored. Ask about ex in the game and start looking at messages. She snatched phone away and deleted app... Saying it's just her text messages. \n\nAfter arguing she says she still has feelings for him (broke up 2+years ago!)\n\nShe denies anything remotely physical or flirtatious happened, I know she's lying (about flirting). \n\nShe made a legitimate effort to tell me she was so so sorry (for what? Cheating? Thinking about cheating?) and she wants to be with me so much. She seems sincere... \n\nDo I give her a second Chance, or kick her to the curb? Help please!", "summary": "found messages leading me to think gf wants to cheat/cheated with her ex. Do I forgive and forget?"} {"id": "t3_53aw2b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] cannot stop acting shy/awkward around the guy [19M] that I'm interested in.", "post": "Honestly, I've always had this problem with guys. I'm not typically a shy person but for some reason I can BARELY look at a guy when I'm attracted to him. I've overcome about 95% of the situations that normally trigger my social anxiety, but I haven't quite mastered talking to crushes yet. Eye contact is pretty much a no-go and I even find it difficult to speak normally. \n\nThe guy that I'm currently interested in is very attractive to me, and it just makes it difficult for me to look at him/talk to him without feeling self-conscious. I feel like this either makes it extremely obvious that I'm interested in him, or it just makes me seem standoffish. Neither of these things are things that I want.\n\nI'd really like to be able to be my animated, talkative self around this guy, but I can't stop feeling extremely self-conscious whenever he's looking at me. I so badly want him to find me appealing, and I suppose this causes me to be over-aware of every little thing about myself. I want there to at least be a little bit of a chance of him being attracted to me as well, and I highly doubt that's going to happen if I keep acting like an awkward mess around him. Any advice?\n_________________________________________________", "summary": "I [19F] can't stop acting shy around the guy [19M] I like and I want to overcome it."} {"id": "t3_1h9znq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21f) lied to my mom and told her I broke up with my boyfriend (22)", "post": "We have dated for over a year now and my mom never really liked him. She would constantly told me to break up with my boyfriend. When she found out that we were sexually active she flipped out and constantly harassed me to end it.( I come from a conservative Asian family. She thinks I am a whore now.) My mom and I have always clashed because she doesn't understand college life (She has never experienced it.) I was harassed by her so frequently-- eventually she told me if I don't break up with him she was going to cut me off and disown me as her daughter. My family is important to me and I didn't want to cause my mother anymore grief and stress. \n\nSo I told her I would break up with him. I love my boyfriend and we are important to each other. He understands and knows my stressful times at home but doesn't know I told my family I'm not with him anymore. I don't know what to do because my mom doesn't trust me and asks me if I'm lying to her. However our relationship is much better and I have a happier home to return to. (I live near campus but home is about 40 minute drive away). No one else knows of this big lie. I haven't told any friends or my boyfriend. I know I should tell him but I fear I will hurt and anger him for not standing up for our relationship-- but I just can not win my mother. She seriously believes I have tainted my reputation and my body. I can be paranoid about my mom finding out but that comes and goes. Convincing my mom is not an option. I just got off the phone with her and she threatened to me that if she finds out she has been made a fool of she will never forgive me. I wish she could see that what I do is normal...", "summary": "Lied to my overly conservative mother that I broke up with my boyfriend when I really didn't. I haven't told any friends nor my boyfriend and I get paranoid. My mother will never forgive me if she finds out."} {"id": "t3_1v2asi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19F] with my FWB [20M] eight months, sees no reason to commit.", "post": "Okay, so basically. Me and this guy have even sort of seeing each other/FWB (note that we're exclusive: think 'together but not together' we basically do everything that couples do except say we're a couple). And when I mentioned just saying we're in a relationship he said no because\n\n1. We're getting the same thing out of a relationship so it doesn't matter (from my view: it's not that different for him but for me it's the stability of what we have and it's knowing that he wants to commit)\n\n2. If I'm not happy with how it is, I wouldn't be happy in a relationship (from my view: it's different in a relationship? - this is the only thing I'm unhappy with)\n\n3. I'd get bored and find something else to moan about instead of this (from my view: this is the only big problem I have with him so I don't see what I would get bored with?!)\n\n4. He would have to check in with me if he wanted to do things with his friends (from my view: he doesn't do that now so why would I expect him to?)\n\nThis has gone on for about 3 months now, when we first had the discussion he said 'let's agree to disagree' meaning that we did what he wanted and I figure that I've been patient and tried it his way (he doesn't seem to acknowledge that the constant rejection actually upsets me) and he keeps saying 'it could change' but that doesn't seem likely at all. And I just don't know what to do anymore - my friends just say to get rid of him (I don't know what his friends say as they don't know about me) but I wanted impartial opinions :)", "summary": "me and FWB are basically in a relationship but he refuses to just say we are. Not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_2ud66x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my gf [23 F] of 9 months need some advice about how to approach an issue.", "post": "I'll try to keep this decently short. My girlfriend and I are at a great spot in our relationship; however, at 9 months in I'm starting to notice something that probably isn't a big issue to most but it is something that kind of matters to me. \n\nOne could say I'm the romantic type, (flowers, surprises, letters, that sort of thing) not every day but about once a month or after maybe an especially bad day I'll do something like to surprise her. She loves it. I also am the kind of guy who will make the extra effort to see her, or go out of my way to do stuff like pick up something at the store she needed on the way over or something. \n\nThe problem is that she does absolutely nothing of the sort. She tells me she loves me and is great when we hang out, and is really an amazing all around girlfriend, except she doesn't really ever make any effort to surprise me, or do anything special for me (she didn't even get me anything for christmas, even though I let her know I was getting her a few things). She even talks about stuff she wants to do with me, for Me, or get me...it just never happens. Or if it's kind out of her way or inconvenient she will just not see me or expect me to go to her most of the time. \n\nI guess it puts me in a mental bind, I love this girl and she does everything expected of a girlfriend, is it fair to be upset that she doesn't go above and beyond? I guess maybe for me personally those things aren't above and beyond, but *are* expected. Should I bring this up and talk to her about it? I don't think it's a deal breaker, but it makes me feel like I may be more into this relationship than she is. I don't really know how to address not getting what most people could consider just extra benefits in a relationship, I feel like I would sound like a whiny child if I told her that.\n\nI also want to end this with saying that this is literally the only flaw with my girlfriend. I really do love her and she is absolutely amazing in every other way.", "summary": "I go the extra mile in the relationship, girlfriend doesn't reciprocate. Is it fair to expect her to do special things for me? How could I even address it?"} {"id": "t3_453jay", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my FWB [29M] of 9mos, falling for him as he's drifting away. Talk to him or walk away?", "post": "When we started out, we made it clear we just wanted to be FWB. It was fun, the sex was good, and it's simpler than dating. We never even explored the concept of dating because we felt like the timing was wrong (both very focused on our careers) but the implication was that we were fundamentally incompatible.\n\nThere were times we tried walking away, wanting to see other people. When I tried to, he'd start becoming really sweet and playful. When our attempts at dating failed, we just go back to before. A part of me thinks maybe those relationships also failed because we wanted to continue... or not. who knows.\n\nRecently, he made a comment about a colleague of ours being pretty... and that annoyed me. I thought it was benign until I noticed we were doing it less. One day, he just blurted to me that he wants to try and ask this other girl out. That broke something in me. I've been unable to sleep since then. I can't stop thinking about him.\n\nIt doesn't make much sense. Sex is good but not passionate. We don't cuddle or hug. It's almost transactional. But, he is a good-looking, nice and intelligent. He has been there for me through some tough times. I don't understand why I feel like this.\n\nAm I just scared of losing something good? Do I really feel anything for him? If I do, should I talk to him or just walk away?", "summary": "We've been comfortable as FWB for 9mos but I'm beginning to feel bouts of jealousy and have lost sleep over his intent to date. Help."} {"id": "t3_4iwyg3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[19M] My girlfriend's little brother and my little sister are fighting and its affecting our relationship", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months. A few months back we suggested that our siblings should hang out, as they are in high school and have similar interests. My sister is 16 and my girlfriend's brother is 15.\n\nAbout a month ago my sister was diagnosed with an immune system disease that she has to take chemotherapy drugs for. Some mornings she is nauseous and doesn't make it to her first class or two. She has missed a ton of school and some days she kind of milks it and will just skip the entire day and go out to eat. My girlfriend's brother pointed this out and started telling their friends that she was milking it.\n\nThis lead to a fight between them and they have been firing back nonstop. My girlfriend's brother has said stuff about my sister and lashed out at her friends. My sister is definitely not innocent in this case either. Her and her friends have said some really mean shit to my girlfriend's brother.\n\nThey're spreading rumors that he's gay, they tell people he sells drugs (high school lol), and they have all around just ruined his social life. He doesn't really have any friends left and is in a pretty shitty place emotionally.\n\nMy girlfriend is livid as she cares a lot about her brother. She understand that hes not 100% innocent but she has texted my sister and said some things that could have been a little over the line, however I don't really disagree with what she said.\n\nMy girlfriend no longer feels comfortable coming over to my house because of my sister and what she has said to her (my sister told my mom).\n\nWhat do I do in this situation? I just finished my first year of college and I really don't want to get involved in this high school drama but it's really affecting our relationship.", "summary": "My girlfriend's brother and my sister are fighting and it has gone too far and is now affecting our relationship. How can I talk to my sister to stop this?"} {"id": "t3_ueyvu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can college credit hours be canceled to be absolved associated debt?", "post": "I have more than $10k worth of debt because of some boneheadedness when I attended Portland State University during the summer of 2008. I earned 12 credit hours there, Calculus and their goofy Freshman Inquiry thing.\n\nMy folks have been supremely unhelpful in resolving this and I really don't know who I should talk to. I've tried going to the bursar's office at the university, but that accomplished nothing.\n\nI'm already enrolled at another University and thanks to my current age I no longer need financial information from my uncooperative parents for financial aid, but due to this stupid debt around my neck I can't get a loan to cover the remaining portion of my projected school budget (roughly half of what I'm expected to owe.)\n\nI really hope that this is a real possibility as I have no intention now of utilizing the records from", "summary": "I was an idiot when I went to college the first time and now am in a Catch-22 where I can't get the education I need to pay my debt because my debt prevents paying for the education I need."} {"id": "t3_gopcv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My friend wants to stay at home and go to community college rather than go to a good State school so he can stay close to a girl. What can I do?", "post": "So here's the story.\nMy best friend, best friends since first grade, and I are seniors in high school on the verge of graduation. At this juncture all of our acceptance letters have come in and most everyone has a set idea of where they are going. \nI plan on leaving home, San Diego, and go continue my education at San Francisco State University. Though that's honestly irrelevant. \nMy best friend is the typical nice-guy. A softie, loves helping people even at his own expense, will always listen to people's drama and issues, and is just a very emotional guy. A big problem for him in his life has always been girls. His natural tendencies makes it so easy for girls to walk all over him. Finally a girl has fallen for him and they have been together for the past three months. It's your typical overdone high school relationship, talking 24/7, he follows her every command, etc. To be honest, he definitely cares more than she does. Hopefully this paints a picture of the dynamics of their relationship.\nMy friend was only accepted to SFSU. He plans on not accepting their acceptance (no pun intended) and stay in SD, go to community college just so he can stay near her. Though I know it's not the same for everyone, older friends of mine who I have seen go to community college always get stuck there. They say they plan on transferring to a better school asap but that never happens. Many have even dropped out completely. Only ONE alumni from my high school has successfully gotten out of community college. I know that for many people community college works out great and they proceed to have great lives, but 95% of the community college kids that I know are unmotivated and, unfortunately, heading straight to a dead end of mediocrity.\nMy question is, how can I sway my friend to make the right decision and receive a high quality education? How can I make him realize that this, his FIRST relationship isn't gonna last forever (he think they'll be getting married...). I've tried, but so far to no avail.\nAll of your help and insight is appreciated.\nThanks guys!", "summary": "My best friend is choosing community college instead of a state university to stay with his girlfriend of four months. How can I sway him to pursue a higher quality education."} {"id": "t3_2z45ia", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my long distance girlfriend [20 F] of 2 months. New to long distance and just curious about a few things.", "post": "I've never had a long distance relationship before. And it's only been roughly 2 months(too be fair though, we talk and play online games together every single day/night for at least 8-10 hours, and when we aren't, were messeging each other; and it feels like it's been so much longer). But the connection I feel with her is honestly stronger than I've ever felt before with someone else. It's crazy that I've never met her and yet I feel so close to, and on the same level as her. Is this normal for long distance relationships?\n\n Also, I don't want to be the guy who drops the \"Love you\" bomb too soon or too late, when is the appropriate time to do so?(obviously not unless I feel it, which I'm pretty sure I do, but just curious how these things usually progress). She always says things like she likes me so so so much and I'm wondering if she's just using that many so's as a replacement for I love you, cause shes nervous about it too?", "summary": "Why and how does it feel like the connection we share is so strong but ive never met her? And how soon is too soon to say I love you?"} {"id": "t3_2uzv26", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it possible to buy clothes for a classmate without modifying her? [25F] and [20sF] of 2 months", "post": "My classmate is morbidly obese, which isnt anything special. My old flatmate was too, but she dressed beautifually. My classmate though, she wears the same outfit of pj pants and a shirt that causes her stomoch to hang out whenever I see her in weekly lab. \n\nIm not rich nor am I thin. I also give to charity already. When I was kid growing up poor I got a lot of clothes for free from donations. Is it possible for me to do the same for my classmate? If so, how can I do it with tact? Maybe a gift card?", "summary": "Classmate in ohusics lab dresses really poorly. Is there anyway I can help her out? Her size isnt a limitation to her beauty."} {"id": "t3_34ap9p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M], will be stuck on a farm with my [20 F] girlfriend's ex-girlfriend [19(?) F] all summer.", "post": "I'm a college student, and about a month ago I entered into a long-distance relationship (and my first relationship in general) with a girl I met on Facebook a year ago. (I realize that that in itself is strange, but things are going quite well so far, so I'm not worried about it). \n\nI wound up applying to intern on a sustainable farm this summer, and got accepted. When I got the acceptance email, however, I discovered that my girlfriend's ex (who goes to the same school as I do) will also be interning there.\n\nSo basically, I'm going to be stuck all summer at a tiny farm with my girlfriend's ex. There are a total of four interns there, so I can't really avoid her. The thing is, she doesn't know that my gf and I are together. Should I tell her beforehand, and if so, how? Or am I better off just keeping things a secret?", "summary": "Will be stuck on a farm with gf's ex-gf, who doesn't know we're dating. Do I tell her or not?"} {"id": "t3_2ehwbl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [18/F] concerned with my boyfriends [19/M] plans for the future.", "post": "Okay, so to begin with my boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. We met in highschool and were close friends, and then began a relationship once he graduated. I'm still in my final year. \n\nOkay, so when he finished he was really unsure what to choose, but ended up choosing a film school in the city, which I thought up until now he was enjoying. Last night he couldn't sleep and told me he was really hating it and was unsure what he wanted to do with his life. \n\nAs a back story, my boyfriend has depression. He plays a lot of video games, and when he sees his friends (who don't go to college or have jobs), they play games too. Now, I don't have a problem with this, I too play games, sometimes with him as well. I don't mind this hobby he has, but sometimes it feels like it takes priority over school. \n\nWe talked through it last night and I told him I would support him 100%, no matter what he decides. He sais the idea of maybe doing IT would interest him, and I said that sounds like a great idea. He plans on talking to his family about it, so he can have their opinion. \n\nNow, I know in my heart I will support him no matter what, but I'm worried. He doesn't really have anything he's super passionate about, and I'm a very driven person. I plan on going to university to study business, with aspirations to open my own shop front. He doesn't have this drive - but I believe he has the potential to. \n\nWhat I'm asking now, is what do you guys think about the video game situation? Should I talk to him about it? Also, do you have any advice on how to help him choose something, or guide him in the right direction? I really love him and want to support him through this.", "summary": "Boyfriend is unsure with what he wants to study in college/university. Could be influenced by friends poor choices, but I think he has a lot of potential. Any advice on what I can do to help him?"} {"id": "t3_4eifjn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19, M] have been seeing someone [18, F], but am not sure whether to get more serious with the end of the semester approaching.", "post": "So we're both in our first year of college at the same university and have known each other since move in day. We have been friends ever since then. I had been crushing on her for a while but then became focused on other stuff. Recently, however, we have taken more interest in each other as more than just friends. We study together a few times a week and sometimes go out on weekends together. We have even hooked up on a couple occasions. \n\nNow, I feel like it's time to define our relationship and I want to ask the awkward \"what are we\" question. This would be my first real relationship if we chose to become exclusive or even the more daunting \"Facebook official.\" If this were a few months ago, I would not think twice to go for it, but now the end of the semester is only about 5 weeks away. This means I'm going to be extraordinarily busy with exams and projects until the summer. We're both going back to our respective homes for the summer, which are about 4 hours away from each other. I'll be working full time this summer and she plans to as well, so we will both be busy. \n\nOverall, I think we would both like to move forward with our relationship, but my doubts come in with it being so close to the end of the semester and whether or not I'll have enough time to put into the relationship. Also, once the semester ends, distance becomes an issue. I'll appreciate any advice.\n\nThanks!", "summary": "We're college students who could start dating, but I don't know if I'll be able to put time into the relationship right now. When the semester ends in 5 weeks, we will be 4 hours apart and working full time."} {"id": "t3_2rx94e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24 M] broke up with me [22 F] after a year and never being in love with me", "post": "I've been in a long term relationship before, but I've never had a heartbreak like this. I know there are worse things in life, don't get me wrong. We were long distance. We were planning on me moving in with him. All was fine. A few nights ago, he admits that while he loved and cared about me, he was never in love with me. \n\nI keep playing the relationship over and over in my head, but it just doesn't make sense. I can't wrap my head around it. Why tell me you love me when you're not in love with me?\n\nHad to vent.", "summary": "boyfriend broke up with me after a year of a perfectly happy (or so I thought) relationship admitting he was never in love with me"} {"id": "t3_32tb0j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25M] am not attracted to my fianc\u00e9e [24F] anymore", "post": "My fianc\u00e9e is an absolutely amazing woman. She's a hard worker, funny, happy, pretty, takes care of her body (works out, eats healthy) and she absolutely adores me. We have the same sense of humor and we rarely have serious arguments. She's not even materialistic in the slightest; she's as good as a person can get in my opinion. So why am I not attracted to her physically? It's weird, cause I think she has a stunning face and body, but whenever we start to get intimate, I have a hard time focusing and desiring to have sex. We're getting married in a couple of months and I'm having real anxiety and depression over this.\n\nI even started seeing a psychiatrist and taking antidepressants, but even though my mood has increased, my desire to have a sexual relationship with her hasn't. I've had my blood taken to the lab a few times, and everything looked good except my testosterone. I took testosterone shots for months and even started working out heavily, but there was no improvement.\n\nI am emotionally exhausted by this because it has been going on for a while. Reddit, what have you got for me?", "summary": "I am engaged to the girl of my dreams, but I have a hard time focusing in the bedroom. Wedding is coming up. I'm currently being treated for depression and I was being treated for low testosterone, but with no improvement."} {"id": "t3_12s5mc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Any tips for two introverts moving in together?", "post": "My boyfriend [23M] and I [21F] are thinking of moving in together at some point in the near future. We have been together 1 year and friends for about 5 years, so we know each other reasonably well. We are both quite introverted and are wondering if there is anything two introverts should know when going into a shared living arrangement.\n\nFor starters, we've agreed to have two bedrooms so that each of us can have our own space. We've also agreed to give the other person notice if one of us brings friends over. We're still talking about how to make sure each person gets enough downtime. Is anyone who has been in a similar situation able to share some perspective?", "summary": "My introverted self and my introverted boyfriend are planning to move in together. How do we coexist and still get enough downtime? Anything we should know or keep in mind?"} {"id": "t3_14zdd8", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "How can I M[20] can keep her F[19] interested over winter break?", "post": "I met a really cool girl at a party right after Thanksgiving, and we've been out on 2 definite dates, plus had dinner and lunch pretty frequently. Since it was the end of the semester, I haven't done anything physical with her at all, except for giving her a friendly hug every time we split paths. I know she is interested, mostly because she never really wears make-up, but every time we make plans to see each other she always does her hair, puts on make-up and does her nails. \n\nIt's break now, and even though I know she's interested, I want to stay in contact and try and keep her interested until next semester, when we can actually spend more time together. We texted a lot at school, so I'm not worried about that. I just want to know what kind of level of communication of appropriate for how long we've known each other. Should I aim to text her daily, or is that too much? Is it appropriate to call her and wish her a Merry Christmas? Any fun ideas for things to say/text her to keep her interested while are away from school for a month?", "summary": "Been on a few dates with a girl. How much communication is necessary to keep her interested in picking things up after the month long break? Also, fun ideas for things to talk about?"} {"id": "t3_45k41n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (28m) am clueless about coming up with a nice wedding day speech for my sister (26f) due to lack of personal stories.", "post": "Situation: My sister, 26, is getting married the end of this year. I have no clue what to say for my speech during the reception dinner. \n\nBackground: I am very happy for her and everyone is on board with the guy. Families have met each other, and they've been together almost a decade. It's not like I do not know the guy, I know him in a sense that I know what he's like, I've hung out with him. For the last 6 years, we've lived separately. Me in North America, she back in Asia where we were born and raised. It made it difficult for me to be close to her, or get to know her boyfriend to a greater extent. We were close growing up, puberty to teenage years. We were so comfortable with each other taking selfies and other playful stuff. Then at some point, for some reason, we kinda strayed. No bad bloods no ill feelings, but we weren't as close as we were before. Chalk it up to growing up and having different priorities and interests?Again, the last 6 years (we've seen each other a few times during this period) didn't help. \n\nAssessment: It makes it difficult for me to come up with an honest, touching brotherly speech when the day of the wedding comes. We were never the type to hang out with each other's friends when we got a little older. \n\nRecommendation (what I think): Part of the speech will include memories of us as kids, part of it will also admitting that the last 6 years of not being around each other didn't give us the best opportunity (maybe come off as humorous?)\n\nI feel ridiculous because all weddings I've been to it seems like siblings have the beat stories of the bride/groom and their partners. \n\nHelp me out?", "summary": "Older brother (me) has no clue how to come up with a sweet and thoughtful speech for his sister's wedding because he doesn't have a lot of stories to tell."} {"id": "t3_2nfbjd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 F] with the guy I'm dating [30 M] seriously for 4 months, having commitment issues", "post": "At this point I have been seeing the same person for four months, and we recently had an argument about where our relationship was going.\n\nSome background: we knew each other for a year before we started dating, and four months ago we got involved romantically. We were always pretty straight up and consistent with each other, no games whatsoever. We see each other 3-5 days each week, and when we are not together we are texting and messaging each other to keep in contact. The relationship is ideal as far as both of us are concerned - we never fight, there are never disagreements, the only issue is that he does not want a title for what we are.\n\nHe says that he has been in long relationships most of his life and he wants to focus on himself and get his life together right now. I respect that; however, my argument is that he is ALREADY involved with me, whether he calls me his girlfriend or not.\n\nWe are not seeing any other people, we spend most of our time together, we even have towels, toothbrushes and other odds and ends at each others houses. I am not asking him to change any of his behavior - I am happy with how often we see each other, how we relate emotionally and sexually, and everything else. \n\nHowever, I am not willing to continue down a road with someone who just told me that he does not want to be my boyfriend now, or any time in the near future. But since telling me that, he keeps texting me and wanting to continue to see me as often and under the same terms as we have been.\n\nMy question is, am I fighting a losing battle? Does he simply not care about me? Or are there other things I should take into account? Should I draw a line in the sand, or be more understanding?", "summary": "Seriously dating someone for four months, how do I get him to commit (or come to my own decision that I should leave him?)."} {"id": "t3_335zpe", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by telling a terrible joke and making an ass out of myself to the new girl in school.", "post": "Obligatory wasn't actually today, but a couple years ago in high school.\n\nIn my junior year of high school, a few friends and I had really gotten into telling those awful sort of jokes that you know are bad, but they still force a solid chuckle out of all your friends. Well, I was joked with, harmlessly, in high school for looking like the stereotypical Jew (I have a monstrously huge nose and a brown poofy fro that rivals that of Screech from Saved By the Bell). So when a new girl came to our literature class, me, being the clever little asshole that I was, thought that I could swoon the new girl by impressing her with my ability to make my unworthy peers laugh with a Jewish joke. I thought this would have been extra chuckle worthy because I look Jewish; makes perfect sense right? No. Needlessly to say, upon delivery, no one laughed. Right from the start of the joke everyone just stared. Apparently everyone but I was well aware that the new girl, as well as the girl that sat in front of me were Jewish. Like hardcore, I forgot my Yamakah today, what the fuck is pork, Jewish. So what was the joke? (I apologize if this offends anyone. If Jewish girl, extra sorry, me love you).\n\nWhat is the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? \nWith a dust pan and a broom...\n\nI never apologized. I figured it'd be better if I just let them continue to believe I'm dead.", "summary": "I told a joke about how to pick up a Jewish girl, not realizing the two girls next to me were Jewish."} {"id": "t3_27lrag", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17/m] I have not heard from my girlfriend [16/f] in weeks...", "post": "So I have been dating this girl for about 3-4 months and we are both in highschool. Things were going pretty well, we were getting along great and going out fairly often but as soon as school ended for the year she almost completely stopped talking to be. It has been almost two weeks and in that time we had a brief text based conversation where she said she has been busy with a job at dunkin donuts, that was 3 or 4 days ago, but I don't really think she can be so busy that the has to straight up drop contact with me almost entirely. I just don't really know what to do... maybe she works all day at dunkin, maybe not...", "summary": "I have not heard from my girlfriend in nearly two weeks apparently because of work, I really miss her and don't know what I should do about it."} {"id": "t3_4hmx64", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My siblings (36F|39M) won't let me (28F) pay them back for things.", "post": "We recently went on a family vacation, and we (me and my siblings) agreed to foot the bill for our parents, but split equally among us three.\n\nHowever, my siblings both seemingly don't want the full amount from me. They say things like, \"Oh, forget about it\", or \"You can just pay for ______ while I pay for ______.\" If we were to do it this way, our individual contributions would be roughly proportional to our household incomes.\n\nYet I feel uneasy about this. On the one hand, I do make the least money and it's kind of great to not have to pay as much (I'm pretty frugal and wouldn't have chosen the more expensive accommodation options).\n\nOn the other hand, I feel like my siblings' spouses don't particularly like me, or even see me as a mooch. I've always been the baby of the family due to being significantly younger. I also feel like I haven't balanced my debts, like I will still owe them something, or that my brother-in-law or sister-in-law will grumble, \"Why are you still paying for OP's portion for ________\"?\n\nThey sometimes pick up other small things, like lunches and dinners, that I have done with less frequency, because we have family things at their houses most of the time.\n\nIf I try to insist to pay them, they get kind of angry. What should I do? What's fair?", "summary": "My siblings kind of baby me and don't expect me to pay for things sometimes, but I feel this breeds resentment with my in-laws and also contributes to the sentiment that I'm a mooch."} {"id": "t3_4j7lgd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (25F) found my bf (24M) of almost 2 years on a hookup app sending pics and dirty texts", "post": "I think I already know what I need to do, but hopefully hearing it from you guys will make me follow through.\u00a0\n\nMe and my bf live together and spend most of our non working time together and pretty much know where each other are when we're not together. Obviously there's always a way to hide where you're going or who you're hanging out with, but so far everything has seemed normal.\u00a0\n\nWell I went out of town a couple hours away and found out my bf used a hookup app while I was gone. He sent sent and received all kinds of pics and exchanged explicit sexual texts. Right now I don't know for a fact that he met anyone, but he I do know for a fact he talked about meeting up.\u00a0\n\nThe thing is, I don't know if he was just doing it for attention or to help him get himself off while I was away since I'm not sure if he actually met.\u00a0\n\nHow should I talk to him about this? To be honest our relationship has felt kind of stale lately so in a way I wasn't even surprised to find all of this out. He still tells me he loves me and even said it while he was using the app. I can understand wanting attention but getting it from a hookup app is very sketchy in my opinion. Can't he just find porn?", "summary": "live-in bf was using hookup app while I was out of town and sent sexual pics and texts. He talked about meeting but I don't know if he did more than talk. What should I do now?"} {"id": "t3_437yi8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 M] with my GF [28 F] for a year, we scare each other in our dreams, can I do something about it?", "post": "I don't know if this should be in a health related sub or if this sub is fine too, feel free to redirect me.\n\nSo, we've been together for almost a year now and we have \"adult sleep over\" regularly. She sometimes has bad dreams but nothing special and nothing in particular triggers them and there's nothing fancy about them.\n\nLast Wednesday, we were both pretty tired and during the night she started having a bad dream. In her dream she was lying in her bed and the frame she has above her bed was actually a big spider.\n\nThis is where it gets interesting. You know how when you wake up while in deep sleep you're a bit confused, very confused even?\n\nWell, she started calling for help in her sleep, like \"no no no\" in an anxious voice (I don't exactly remember what she was saying but it sounded like a cry for help, and I was in deep sleep so pretty confused). I of course jumped to help her and held her in my arms. I know it's bad to wake people up when they are in deep sleep but I was just reacting instinctively at that point.\n\nI took her in my arms trying to get her to calm down but instead I transformed the spider in her dream to a robber that had now caught her and she started moaning/crying \"who's this? who's this ??!??\". I was trying to tell her \"it's me, it's me\" but she lives not too far from an airport so she sleeps with earplugs, it took a bit more time than needed for her to understand. She then realized what was happening and calmed down.\n\nWe then had a huge laughter for a good 5 minutes as I was explaining to her what happened and she was explaining how it went for her.\n\nThis is the second time something like this happened, the first time she literally moaned \"help, help!\".\n\nNow I know the good thing to do would be to let her calm down on her own, in her dream, but as I said it was pure instinct guiding me.\n\nDo you guys have any advice that could help me in this situation?\n\nedits: typos", "summary": "GF sometimes has bad dreams and she talks in her sleep, waking me up and scaring me, I \"rescue\" her but turn out to scare her even more. Need advice."} {"id": "t3_zxjvl", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Online dating embarrassment. 22m, 19f", "post": "Hey everyone... I met my girlfriend of about 1month on match.com and she is fantastic. She gets along with all my friends and is just everything I'm looking for.\n\nThe problem is we met online. My friends and family think that is an embarrassing way to meet (every time a commercial advertising it comes on, they insult it and say how embarrassing it would be to actually use a site like that...)\n\nI have been telling them that we randomly met at a starbucks, and just hit it off which isn't necessarily a lie but feels pretty damn close. I actually met her online and our first date was in the very public starbucks to get to know each other. \n\nI don't know how to break this to my friends and family that I actually met her online and my girlfriend is getting upset because all of her friends and family know the truth and thinks that I am embarrassed about her.\n\nMy question is, how do I go about doing this without risking the validity of my relationship to my peers and family? Ultimately it is whatever makes me happy, I understand that...but in the interim I don't know what to do.", "summary": "I met a great girl online but lied about how I met her and don't know how I break it to my family"} {"id": "t3_fbdcp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Valentine's Day, gift idea?", "post": "Hello Reddit!\nI was wondering if some of you could help me.\n\nBesides getting tickets to a sold out show of her favorite band (both 21 years old, we decided to not do the whole \"go out for dinner, etc\" for Valentine's Day) I want to give her something else as well.\n\nMy girlfriend really likes this poem that's in a book I gave to her (if you're interested, it's the poem that's in \"The Perks Of Being A Wallflower\") I was thinking of printing the poem and to put it in a nice frame or something, though it's not exactly original/exciting, so I was wondering if anyone could come up with a potential better idea?", "summary": "Girlfriend likes a poem, I want to do something with it, but printing/frame seems a bit \"meh\". Any original ideas?"} {"id": "t3_3ymovd", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by throwing my friends phone into a lake", "post": "About an hour ago I smoked with a friend out on a dock thats on a public lake. It was past midnight so we figured nobody would be coming out there. Unfortunately for us, there was a house adjacent to the dock that my friend (its his neighborhood) failed to tell me often calls the police on people out there at night. I was standing holding my friends phone to use the light so that he could pack another bowl, and I guess we were so high that we didn't even realize the two police officers that walked down the straight ~30ft dock. I looked up and they were literally about 5 feet away, so my first thought was to throw the weed that was on the table in front of us into the lake. I'm not sure why it happened or what screwed up in my brain, but instead I turned and in one motion just launched my friends phone into the lake, flashlight still on. In the end the police were actually really fair and just told us to leave, didn't even care that we were smoking, but I'm a couple hundred dollars in the hole anyway.", "summary": "Cops startled me while I was smoking on a dock with my friend, and my first instinct was to throw his phone into the lake."} {"id": "t3_ys48a", "subreddit": "running", "title": "I'm kind of (but not really) new to running and am having trouble figuring out my body...", "post": "Okay, so, I'm not really new to running. I used to run quite a bit for training for other things, starting with pyramiding 20 minute runs (increasing speed every minute until I reached my peak then restarting). This helped me lose a lot of weight, but I didn't feel like my cardiovascular health was improving much. Then I started boxing, and had to run 2.5 miles 3 days a week. It was brutal on me though, because my stamina was awful and even a half-mile was rough. But I completed the runs because I had my coach following me, and his presence motivated me. Then I had to transfer colleges, and fell out of training since I was so used to having a coach. So, for about a year I didn't train. I put on a lot of weight and when I finally decided to run again, I had a nerve problem with my left leg. It's taken care of now, and I started running again this summer. So that's what I meant by new to running but not really. I'm not a consistent runner, but I've run before. The difference is, this time I'm doing it alone, and don't really have anyone to answer my questions, so here I am.", "summary": "I've been on and off with my running for about 3 years now but this summer is the first time I'm running alone and just to run. So I'm new to running on it's own. "} {"id": "t3_3ouf0j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Non-Romantic - Me [24F] with new housemate[28 M] 3 days after moving in I found him in my room touching my clothes when he thought I was at work, I am freaked out.", "post": "Essentially my female friend and I moved in to our new houseshare and met the 4 guys we're living with on Saturday. On Tuesday morning I left for work but 5 mins later realised I had left my laptop in my room. Got back to my room, opened the door, and my new male housemate was in there looking in my wardrobe and touching my clothes. He had properly shut the door behind him so it's not like he had just popped his head in to have a quick look at the room.As far as I can see he hasn't taken anything (or left anything).\n\nI flipped out and yelled at him while he scurried back to his room, 'What the FUCK are you doing? What went on in your head to make you think that was ok?' etc. \n\nHe started brokenly stammering 'oh ..er...your door was open..I came out of the shower...I', then fell to his knees shaking and running his fingers through his hair just saying 'I don't know, I don't know what I was thinking, I can't explain it, I'm so sorry'...\n\nI rang the landlord and asked for a lock to be put on my door, and he agreed to that and said, 'Wow...ermm [ awkward chuckle] ...that's a bit embarrassing isn't it... yeah I'll look into the locks for you, I know he smokes a lot of waccy baccy but we've never had a problem with him.' \n\nThen later the housemate came downstairs crying saying that he had told his girlfriend and parents and that he was arranging to see a counsellor. \n\nA handyman came and installed a lock on my door the next day, so I feel much more comfortable in the house now. I am just really interested to get some opinions from reddit on this. So far everybody I've spoken to agrees it is really weird, and personally I am finding it really difficult to be civil to the housemate, as it really freaked me out and he still doesn't seem to be able to explain his behaviour.", "summary": "I found my new male housemate in my room touching my clothes when he thought I was out, he can't explain it and is distraught."} {"id": "t3_1caw4d", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what should be the first video game my father plays/finishes?", "post": "I've always played video games. My parents got me a Gameboy Color when I was 3, and I've just kept playing. Neither my mom nor my dad have been particularly interested in gaming. However, I've been having many conversations with my dad recently about my hobby, and he has surprisingly said that he's willing to try it out. Now, he's basically stated (paraphrased slightly) \"All the games with constant explosions and all these text boxes stress me out. Bad guys are always after me.\" (I've shown him Bioshock and Torchlight 2.)\nI got him to play Thomas Was Alone and World of Goo. He said that he enjoyed World of Goo to some degree, as well as Thomas Was Alone, but also that the platforming stressed him out. (He has no experience in platformers, and he was moving his body with the controller, shoulders got tensed up). So, my questions is, what game(s) should I have him play to capture his interest, not stress him out, and have a better understanding of video games in general?", "summary": "Dad gets stressed out by games with constant action, but is interested. What games should he play to fuel his interest?"} {"id": "t3_4fnaz2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] was chewed out by coworker [38 M] I barely knew for something simple.", "post": "It happens in the morning on the locker room. Our locker neighbor each other but we never talks because I didn't know him as we are in different section and I rather keep my time in locker room short.\n\nAll of a sudden he yell at me saying to respect my elder and let him go first. From the situation I judge that I may open my locker to wide and it obstruct him from his locker or something. My first instinct is to apologize as I may be in the wrong eventhough I'm not sure what it is.\n\nThinking nothing of it I continue to change but he suddenly talk to me with a strong voice asking where I'm from. He uses a very informal and rather rude form of \"you\" in my language and judging from his voice he probably is angry.\n\nI told him where I'm from and he says people from that area are usually polite. He continue to talk while walking outside how I'm still a fledgling but already impolite and disrespectful. It happens really fast and out of nowhere that all I can do is smile and say sorry in a casual way.\n\nNow thinking about it I'm really angry. What do I do to deserve that? I may have done something wrong but I promptly apologize, why do he need to make a spectacle out of that? \n\nI'll probably just stay silent and try not to make a big deal out of it. But I wonder what should I do if he provoke me again because we meet each other everyday in the locker room. I try not to make enemy as I'm rather new on the company (barely 6 month), while he already work there for 15 years so making a big deal out of this will probably result in nothing other than satisfying my ego. My coworker on my section advice me to just stay calm because maybe the guy has a bad day and just use me to vent.", "summary": "Coworker I barely knew chewed me out and it irks me. I want to ignore him but what to do if he decide to provoke me later?"} {"id": "t3_iaaix", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is it a requirement that you dont shower or wear deoderant to show at Wholefoods?", "post": "Ok, so I started going into Wholefoods because one opened near me and they have a pretty damn good menu in the Wholefoods cafe. Over the past few weeks I have noticed that people shopping here do not practice proper hygene. I have encountered some rank clouds of BO, the kind of smell you get when you pass a homeless person kind of BO. Until this experience in Wholefoods the only other place I have seen these types is at the Apple Store or at the Comic Con or E3. Is it that hard to hop in the shower a few times a week and use some fucking antiperspirent?", "summary": "Why do people that shop at Wholefoods not practice proper hygene and leave horrid cloud of BO in their wake?"} {"id": "t3_12e005", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "r/relationships, I need a peptalk. I've found someone I really care about, but a painful breakup in my past keeps rearing its head in the back of my mind.", "post": "I [17/F] recently started dating a new girl [20], and she's really great. She's the first girl that I've dated for longer than a month in a long time, and I see no signs of slowing down. I'm actually in a honeymoon phase, as opposed to some of my previous relationships where I only really liked the attention I got and very rapidly lost interest after we were dating. \n\nEverything is great as far as my girlfriend and I are concerned. But about a year ago I had a nasty breakup with my first love [18]. We were together for three years, started dating young (from middle school into junior year of high school, so we had that young person growing up together bond going on), were conjoined at the hip and best friends, the whole nine yards. \n\nEven though everything is going perfectly well with my new girlfriend, I can't help but be afraid that it's going to end in a horrific crash just like my relationship with my first girlfriend did.", "summary": "How do you shake the re-kindled memories of losing your first love, when you find your second? Advice? Anecdotes?"} {"id": "t3_1asfox", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29F] am sabotaging my relationship with an amazing guy [22M], and I don't know what to do.", "post": "-Sorry if this is a little stream-of-consciousness-\n\nI recently met someone I really like- the aforementioned 22M. We have nearly all of the same interests, the same sense of humor, and a satisfying sexual life. He treats me well, provides all that I felt I was lacking in my previous relationship, and we have a lot of fun. Sometimes I feel like I could be en route to falling in love. We've known each other for a few months, and started dating seriously about a month ago. Most of the time we're together, things are great.\n\nAnd then other times, out of nowhere I just feel unhappy. I dwell on our age difference a lot- I know that 22 is adult-ish, and he's mature, but *I* know that who I am now is a long, long way from who I was at 22, and I feel like we're at such different places in our lives and that we will be for at least the next 5 years. \n\nTo make the divide seem even greater, he lives with his parents (he's a student), and they support him financially. I support this, as I lived with my parents until I went away to college (although my parents didn't support me financially, but then again they aren't as wealthy as my BF's parents).\n\nI've been trying to focus on having fun with him- love doesn't always come when you think it will, or in the package you think it will, right? So I'm trying hard to be open-minded, but I constantly end up dwelling on the negatives. He also has one of those baby faces, and sometimes I feel gross, like I'm making out with a high schooler.", "summary": "I met a great guy who is an awesomely compatible match for me and I like him a ton, and all I do is think about why it won't work."} {"id": "t3_3jglvt", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being selfish.", "post": "Not today, but actually about two and a half weeks ago.\n\nI was dating this girl (you've probably already guessed near to the FU) who was the sweetest, most innocent, and lovely person you'd ever have the pleasure to meet. Everybody she meets just immediately loves her, she's very charming, pretty, and just makes you want to be positive. We'll call her Orange.\n\nI'm not exactly a positive person, in fact i'm quite negative. I use drugs, I am cynical, and I am generally rough around the edges. For the life of me I have no idea what Orange ever saw in me. She claims she loves me more than anybody she's ever met, family included, and I feel exactly the same about her. \n\nWe had a relationship that near the midway became more trying than it was rewarding but we were trying our best to persevere. Most of the issue derived from us being separated and being forced for a time in to a long distance relationship. I got depressed and started smoking a lot more weed than I should have, and she took it really badly. like, really badly. She was raised in a small town in Australia, and her parents are quite conservative.\n\nI eventually made my way back to Australia on a student visa that I wasn't really all that excited about, I mostly did it because I wanted to set things right with her. I feel so strongly about her, I would do anything.\n\nHere comes the FU. She was trying to move past the long distance anxiety and to be okay with my occasional cannabis usage, but the whole thing triggered tons of anxiety and friction between us. I panicked and felt trapped that I couldn't exactly be myself around her (because fuck changing who you are, right?). I felt like I was on eggshells all the time. Impulsively I told her that we should take some time apart to think about what to do about these issues.\n\nShe didn't want to be in love-limbo, so she gave me an ultimatum and I chose poorly. Now I can't even enjoy a joint because it's a bitter reminder that I chose weed over my best friend out of impulse.", "summary": "Broke up with the best girl I've ever met because I didn't want to give up smoking weed. feels bad man."} {"id": "t3_1yevx9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of 3 years, not sure whether or not he is a good long term partner.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have lived together for about two years and while I enjoy living with him I wonder whether he would be a good long term partner. \n\nThe main issue is that he spends a lot of his time playing video games and redditing (and other interneting), which I find hard to respect. He is supposed to be doing school work by distance but it is taking him much longer than it should (1.5 years so far) because he doesn't focus on it. I think he might have actually given up on it at this point. When I ask him about it he says I'm nagging so I have stopped saying anything. He has money from his education fund so we can split the bills and that isn't an issue. \n\nMy concern is for his lack of follow-through and excessive video game playing. I wonder whether this will continue to be an issue or if it's just that the distance courses are not very motivating. I feel that it's not my responsibility to push him to do his school work. I've been thinking that he might not be a good long term partner. I've been considering it for six months but flip flop between wanting to break up and wanting to push things with him some more. \n\nOur relationship has mostly been great so far and he has some very good qualities. I really like that he is easygoing and can quickly pick up what I'm feeling. There are a lot of positive things in our relationship.\n\nI would appreciate any advice on how to handle this. I'm unsure if this is a \"deal breaker\" for me or not. How do you decide?", "summary": "My boyfriend spends most of his time playing video games and not doing his school work. I'm not certain whether I should break up with him or not. The rest of the relationship is quite good."} {"id": "t3_2500dy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] am planning on breaking up with my boyfriend [21M] but I don't know when to do it", "post": "Things aren't working out, our personalities aren't as similar as I thought, and we are on different pages. I've finally realized that I need to break up with him.\n\nHowever, I don't know when to break up with him. He does not know and I don't even think he suspects anything. I am going tor help him move back home from his dorm on Friday, spending Thursday night there as well. He is flying to California on Saturday until Monday to visit his brother [40-something/M] and his family, whom he hasn't seen in a few years.\n\nI don't want to break up with him until he gets back, because I don't want him to be in a depressed mood the entire time he's there. I just don't think that's fair.\n\nMy mom thinks I should end it before he leaves, because a different environment might be good for him right after we break up. She has a point, but I really don't want him to be upset at all while he's visiting his brother. He really looks up to him and I know he is really looking forward to seeing him.\n\nI love him dearly and I care a lot about him. He makes me smile and feel giddy when I'm with him, but there are things that I know are wrong. This is going to wreck me and I even had a panic attack last night that made me sick to my stomach this morning because I finally decided that I need to end it soon. I don't want to do this, but I have to. (If any of you are interested in why we're breaking up, just ask and I will add it.)\n\nSo..when do I do it? Of course I want the most time with him that I can get, I want to wait until he gets back, mostly because I am terrified of saying goodbye, but also because I want him to have the best time in California with his brother without any worries on his mind.", "summary": "I don't know when to break up with my boyfriend; this Friday or a week after that on Tuesday when he comes back from visiting his brother in California."} {"id": "t3_rroxe", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Should a small business take a chance by turning down a long-term customer in the name of \"policy\"?", "post": "Hey, all. I'm hoping to get some opinions and see if any others have dealt with similar situations. I've been shopping at this local record store since I was in high school. Nearing the end of college, I've spent at least a couple hundred dollars at this shop. That being said, I bought some shirts and a record the other day. I wore one of the shirts for half a day, washed it, put it on this morning, and noticed that there were holes all along the bottom of the shirt's design. I brought the shirt to the store to talk to the owner and manager to try to resolve the issue. These people know me. They know my special orders, which I could have simply picked up at Best Buy. I even got the, \"I want to help you because you shop here all the time...\" speech, but unfortunately, that was followed by, \"but the shirt was washed and once it's washed, either you're stuck with it, or we are.\" I asked if there was anything I could do to get any sort of replacement and I was turned down. My family spends a lot of money on records at this store, so it upsets me that they don't appreciate my continued business. I don't understand how a small business can just throw away their capital in this economy. Thoughts? Similar experiences?", "summary": "Tried to return a fault product to a frequently visited, locally-based record shop, was turned down in the name of \"policy\". Considering not returning, which I would hate to do."} {"id": "t3_1lxwph", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[MI] - Police and Property Lines", "post": "Just a quick question hopefully someone can shed some light on for me. It's a bit lengthy, but the questions is kind of specific so bear with me.\n\nI'm a college student living off campus in a neighborhood with a private landlord (in no way affilitated with the university) so naturally we will probably have a loud party or two and I'm afraid I may eventually have to deal with police at some time or another and I want to be prepared if it ever happens.I've done my fair share of research already. Never let them in without warrants, shut the door behind you if you go outside to speak with them etc. \n\nMy question is, can I legally stop an officer from coming on the property? Obviously they can't enter the house with my consent or a warrant, but I don't want them even leaving the sidewalk. The greater distance, the better. More often than not, I'm already outside smoking on our porch with a few others while most everyone else is inside, so I will be able to see police arriving before they're a-knockin' on the door. Could I then walk down to the sidewalk to speak with them and then insist that the conversation remains there?\n\nBetter yet, if no one's outside and they knock on the door, could I then go outside and ask to move the conversation to the sidewalk? Or is that right lost since they're already come up to the door?\n\nThanks to anyone who can shed some light on this for me. I want to exercise my rights, but don't want to overstep my boundaries either.", "summary": "If cops come to my house can I ask officers to stay on the sidewalk or are they legally permitted to go up to the door?"} {"id": "t3_pfavh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Met an amazing girl, taking her out Friday, need some advice.", "post": "Okay Reddit, maybe you guys can be of some assistance, I tried asking /r/dating_advice, before the weekend but I didn't get an response. And I posted here before the weekend with someone who did help me out.\n\nSo, last week I met this amazing girl, and we started talking and really hit it off! We pretty much spent the weekend together, got lunch on Saturday, went to a play at our college together Saturday night, got to meet her dad. Nice guy. Sunday she came over to my house and we watched the Super Bowl with my family, even they liked her. She liked them as well which is a huge shock to me. I find it so easy to talk to her and I've never been able to do that with any girl I've been with.\n\nWhat I'm trying to get to is, I'm really falling hard for this girl, but I don't have much experience when it comes to girls to be honest. We are talking almost nonstop, could be just sitting with her in between classes or just texting all day. Were not exactly dating yet but it's a lot of flirting and just I'm more happy then I have been in a long time whenever I'm around her. When I said I was falling for her, I mean it. So I'm taking her to the movies Friday, and on Sunday were going to her house for a movie day. \n\nAny advice anyone can give me on this? I like her A LOT, and she likes me. I just don't have a lot of experience when it comes to women. Over the past couple days, I've wanted to tell her how I feel for her, but I'm kind of worried about doing that because we haven't known each other all that long. \n\nSo Reddit what should I do? I know some people might laugh at me for my feelings after knowing her for a short time, but I don't care. I have been pretty depressed the last few months and meeting her has given me a new sense of life and I just can't wait getting to see her everyday and just sit and talk with her.", "summary": "I met an awesome girl who I'm really falling for. Spent a lot of time together already and just looking for advice on how to get things really rolling."} {"id": "t3_3hdmop", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] feeling confused with [23 M] of 7 months and dont know what next move should be", "post": "Alright it goes. I've been seeing this guy for 8 months, we met on tinder. We set it off immediately but i waited around 4 months to begin having intercourse with him. When we first met, he would text and call pretty much every day. After around two months, he would start to go M.I.A for a few days but still make plans.\n\nNow, we see each other around once a week but lately i feel as though i have to initiate everything- from texting to actually seeing each other. I was planning on just sitting back and doing my thing until he reaches out, but its really hard since im obviously attached to him and want to talk to him, We have talked about exclusivity but i dont know exactly where we stand. What should I do?", "summary": "Guy doesnt put in as much effort as before but isnt doing anything \"wrong\". Whenever we see each other in person its great, dont know what my next move should be."} {"id": "t3_29t6f5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (20 M) am scared to get \"hurt\" again", "post": "Okay, I have never been in a relationship before, but during middle/high school (I graduated in 2012), was one girl who I really liked and twice she acted like she liked me back, then as we would be talking, she would do a complete 180 and cut me off, insult me, etc. The first time she did it, I was hurt but I still really liked her, the second time was the worst. I had just suffered a fairly severe head injury, and this girl was, again, acting like she liked me and wanted a relationship (even in my severely impaired state) but we were still friends, until one day ,she again, cuts me off and quits talking to me.\n\nAll that shit happened at the very minimum of 5 years ago, but it hurt me so deep that, after it happened I was so mad and so hurt, I burned every bridge I had that was a girl. I hadn't even thought about a girlfriend, until a couple months ago. There is a new girl, but I haven't even spoken to her (she's my sisters friend from college, so I hardly see her and although I have caught her looking/smiling at me more than once, I can't go say something, because I'm scared I'll get \"hurt.)\n\n I don't know what to do, I can talk well with guys, but girls at least to me are a whole different animal. I really worry that my new crush will go like my last one.", "summary": "I got hurt on 2 separate occasions with the same girl a long time ago, I am scared it will happen again with this new girl I have a crush on."} {"id": "t3_35k8g5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20F] am thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend [20M] of almost two years.", "post": "My SO is my best friend. I wish I could ask him for his advice, because I value his opinion and he's thorough in his thought processes. For obvious reasons, I can't ask him. So I'm hoping maybe you guys might be able to help.\n\nMy boyfriend and I started dating at the end of senior year of high school, and have made it through 1.5 years of college long distance. Along the way, we have had some major fights, but I have never wanted to break up with him for a number of reasons. Most importantly, I really loved him. I think I was also afraid to break up with him, because I knew it would hurt both of us a lot, and because I rely on him and he relies on me. We are very compatible in many ways. In a nutshell, he's kind, intelligent, ambitious, funny, and thoughtful. He loves me deeply, and so do his parents and his sibling. My parents are less enthusiastic about him. They think he's a great person, but they fear he might not be the perfect match for me. He's pretty quiet and introverted (I am too), but they fear I might do better with a partner who makes social situations less anxiety-inducing for me (aka, someone who is a bit more talkative with strangers). They also worry I haven't had the opportunity to discover what true compatibility is, because he's my first real boyfriend.\n\nRecently, I've started to share their concerns. In some ways, it is the-grass-is-greener syndrome. But I think it also is a truly valid concern that he's my first boyfriend and I can't necessarily judge whether someone is a perfect match for me. I know he makes me feel comfortable and we get along really well, but I haven't felt passionate about him in a while. I also can imagine my life without him. I'm not sure if that's just because we haven't seen each other in a while, or if I'm ready to move on. I can't tell if I've fallen out of love or not.", "summary": "So, reddit, my question is: what does falling out of love feel like? What would you do if you were me?"} {"id": "t3_40pctv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by storing my Germ-X in my desk", "post": "TIFU when we had a head honcho from our corporate office come in. The whole office spent the last week cleaning stuff up, throwing out papers, yadda yadda yadda, and part of this process was having everyone clean their desks off. Like just a monitor, laptop and phone kind of clean. We have an open-concept office so it was important to have everyone's desk really clean for this visit. So I took my bottle of Germ-X and stuck it in my top drawer where I had my nifty little desk organizer. Apparently the heavy end fell into one of the wells in the organizer so when I went to open my drawer it jammed. I'm like, \"Whisky Tango Foxtrot, bruh\" and keep pulling over and over again until I notice the nozzle is caught in one of the rivets. I wasn't able to undo it at first but when I finally managed to open the drawer I noticed exactly what I had feared. Every time I pulled the drawer open the pump was hit, ejaculating some sweet sweet germicide all over the contents of my desk. It was on my sunglasses, my pens, loose change. It was on my sticky notes. I spent the next couple of minutes cleaning my desk out explaining to everyone that walked by what I was doing.", "summary": "The rhythmic action of forcing my desk open and closed caused my Germ-X to splooge all over the contents of my desk and then I had to explain myself to everyone."} {"id": "t3_2m93ld", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by delivering a fucking paper.", "post": "Hey reddit, TIFU by delivering a paper. So, I was walking around in my high school a day when a stranger approached me and asked if I knew some chick, I did, and he asked me to deliver a paper to this person. I did and thought nothing of it. It just looks like an invite to an experiment. So, I took it to a teacher and asked if he could deliver, he said sure. So, I come to school and visit the teacher that I gave the paper to and he gives me a look of worry. I think he is a busy guy so maybe school is bothering him, so I say hey whats up and he instantly brings up the paper and says, \"um Highschooldumbass, I don't know what was on the paper but random chick did not like it, and reported it to the school police officer\". ohfuck.jpg I start to think ooooooo what the fuck was on that paper. So, I continue my day worried as fuck, hoping that shit gets resolved. Then my teacher say I need to go to the principles office. Shit. So I report to the principles office and see the principle, with a concerned look. She asks me to tell my story so I do and at the end of it. She says \"This person sounds imaginary\". [Rest in Pasta me] She then says that she is going to make me talk to the officer in the school tomorrow to maybe investigate.", "summary": "I deliver a malicious paper to some chick unknowingly, she does not react well, principle does not believe me, I may be investigated. GG [What should I do?]("} {"id": "t3_2iqc2h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [30 F] just got married to my new husband[32 M] it's been 4 months now and it turns out he has a drinking problem.", "post": "I married a man I've known peripherally (1.5 years) after a month long whirlwind romance. We have a fantastic connection, lots of fun and have a lot to share with each other. I've never wanted to get married but deciding to get married to him didn't even feel like a leap of faith but more like a foregone conclusion.\nWe spent a lot of time together in bars that first month but it felt celebratory and a bit like speed dating. I admit looking back now it should have been obvious, he drinks in excess, only really wants to hang out in bars and can become aggressive. He has never been violent but I know he's stronger and he punched a hole in the wall while yelling at me while I huddled in a corner yelling for him to go away.\nAt this point I am well aware that I cannot calm him down or coerce him in any way once he starts. Several incidences have occurred (breaking my stuff mostly), my friends and parents have expressed concern and they all like him but things are out of hand. We've had a lot of hard talks that felt totally unsuccessful til I finally realized just what I was dealing with.\nWe are at a point where I'm having to make ultimatums, if he doesn't get outside help and hold himself accountable I can't share my life with him.\nSo the thing that I wonder, after reading a lot and talking to close friends...is it possible to have a happy relationship with someone dealing with alcohol abuse at this stage? My hope is that he'll go to therapy and AA and that eventually this won't be a constant issue but after reading all the advice it seems more like a false hope. \nI need advice.", "summary": "Just married/husband's drinking is out of control/is it possible to have a happy relationship with an alcoholic who is just now(hopefully) starting recovery"} {"id": "t3_2p2yej", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "[Serious] how to respond to, \"why did you leave your last job?\"", "post": "My wife is leaving her job because she just can't take it any longer. It's a large corporation (10,000+ employees) and they've been doing a ton of downsizing. Her department used to have 8 people and it's down to 2, and the 2 people are expected to do the work of 8. Between that and them harassing her after taking 4 days off for FMLA (we are foster parents and had a newborn placed with us) she tried contacting HR to get some help with all of the bullying. HR said there was nothing they could do, but they would reach out to her bosses. After that things got even worse and she put in her notice. The next day after her notice was put in they informed her it would be her last day, but they would pay her through the last day she put on her notice. \n\nShe has a job interview today and you know the question usually comes up: why are you leaving your current job? How on earth does she answer this? She doesn't want to seem like she's going to be a lot of drama, and she doesn't want to say something negative.", "summary": "My wife was in an environment where bosses were making her miserable. She has an interview this afternoon. How does she respond to, \"why are you leaving your current job,\" without setting herself up for failure during the interview?"} {"id": "t3_2af663", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my EX [23 F] six months, She asked for space.", "post": "I'm a Soldier deployed overseas and being so far away for so long caused me and my girlfriend to split up. She graduated college in the spring and needed to focus on finding a job. We tried being friends but I wasn't ready for it. I kept trying to flirt with her and push her towards being in a relationship with me again. It was hard for us to find time to talk because of the time difference between the US and where I am stationed and often I would get mad when she wasn't able to make time in her busy schedule for me. Eventually things blew up in a big fight last week and she told me not to speak to her anymore. I was devastated because I didn't see all the things I was doing wrong. I had accused her of being cold and no longer caring about me at all anymore but now I see that it was my unwillingness to just be friends that pushed her away. Her best friend was kind enough to break things down and explain them to me from her perspective and I now realize that I was being a total jerk. I just want to know how long I need to wait before I can tell her I have seen where I was wrong and am ready to be friends. I still hope that we will be together again in the future but I recognize that she isn't in a position right now for that to be an option. Even if we're not dating, she was someone very close to me and I miss having her in my life.", "summary": "How long after a major fight where I was the one who was wrong and she asks for space do I need to wait to tell her I have seen the error in my ways?"} {"id": "t3_3f7cxo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "i [22 M] have an irrational fear of getting my GF [19 F] of 8 months pregnant even though she uses BC and we use a condom. How can I get over this?", "post": "Before my girlfriend and I met last October, i was a virgin in pretty much everyway. She also has a high libido and so whenever we're with each other we tend to have sex like 2 times a day. \n\nShe takes a BC pill and has missed it a couple times since we've been together and is pretty good about taking it within a two hour window each day. we've used a condom every time except like twice months ago(and I was freaking out about pregnancy). I know that using both forms of protection severly reduces the chance but am not sure how much irregularly taking the pill will mess with things. \n\nAfter I go home after a few days visit, I worry and can't wait until she tells me her period started(which i really appreciate her telling me) so I can ease some. How can I pretty much eliminate the fear of her getting pregnant? We have talked before about what we would do in case of pregnancy but what if she realizes she missed her too late? In addition to just worrying about pregnancy, I tend to worry a lot anyways about things.", "summary": "Despite using BC and a condom, I worry about her getting pregnant until she tells me she has started her period. how do I overcome this fear?"} {"id": "t3_2hteez", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20F] boyfriend [21 M] of 2 years cheated on me 2 months into our relationship.", "post": "My boyfriend left for europe on vacation 2 months into our relationship and told me he kissed someone while out partying on his trip. He told me it was a one-time, drunken thing with a stranger. I ended up forgiving him and we worked through the trust issues. \n\nTwo years later, he left his facebook open on my computer and I (I know, it's bad) looked through his messages and found out that he had actually added the girl he hooked up with, and messaged her after getting back from his trip. However, they haven't had contact in over a year. He also told his buddy that he was really good at picking up girls in Europe, offered advice on how to go about picking up these girls, and that the area he was in had the hottest girls out of anywhere he'd ever been. \n\nIn another message to a friend, I found a photo of him and another guy with their arms around 2 girls at a party (shortly after he got back from his trip) and he had captioned it \"I miss the days you could just pick up girls and not have it plastered all over social media.\" There are no recent messages of this nature. \n\nObviously this has upset me, and I know that I've made a mistake snooping. Our relationship has been fine up until now. How do I approach this? Do I just pretend I never found these things?\n\nI'm worried because he's returning to the same place in Europe this summer, and I'm afraid he will try to contact that girl again.", "summary": "Boyfriend made out with someone 2 months into the relationship. I forgave him. Two years later found some facebook messages that are making me question things again."} {"id": "t3_2vgkic", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Writing a PF Book for College Students/Recent Grads: Help Me Brainstorm?", "post": "I'm currently writing a personal finance book geared towards those entering college as well as people that recently graduated. I'm well aware there are a lot of books geared towards people in their mid-20s, as well as those geared towards paying off student loan debt, but I don't think there's something in the middle that deals with a blend of the two\u2014young, anxious about loans, but eager to start investing.\n\nThus, I'm using my own personal experiences (27M, lawyer) to write a personal finance book that sorts out everything I've learned thus far. The goals of my book are as follows:\n\n(1) Stress financial behavior and personal finance basics rather than super crazy tricks of the trade.\n\n(2) For college kids: discuss how to keep student loan debt down and keys to finding a job.\n\n(3) For recent grads: reducing fixed costs, picking the right student loan repayment plan, balancing investing with student loans, etc.\n\n(4) Basics of investing (401k, IRAs, etc.)\n\n(5) Ultimately, make everything easy so those in my generation have the confidence and ability to have a healthy financial life.\n\nThat's the extremely basic outline thus far. I've written chapters 1-3 and it seems to be coming along pretty well, but I figured I should reach out to /r/personalfinance and see if anybody had some input.\n\nSo what would you stress? What are some things I might be taking for granted? What are unique challenges a 20 year old faces now versus a 20 year old in 1990? Etc.", "summary": "Writing a PF book geared towards balancing student loan debt with investing, as well as saving and setting up a plan. What are some things I might be overlooking? And do you think a book like this already exists?"} {"id": "t3_2i09rw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I in the wrong?", "post": "My girlfriend [17f] and I [18m] have been dating 5 months, today she told me she was in love with me. I didn't know what to say, because I'm not at that point yet, I love her, but I'm not in love with her.\n\n I'm someone who really had problems with their emotions and expressing feelings and she knows that, I feel like if I don't say I'm in love with her she's gunna just start even more of a fight that's gunna end up with us breaking up.\n\n Is this my problem, hers or a combination of both of us? How should I approach telling her I'm not in love with her without \nhurting her?", "summary": "Girlfriend told me she's in love with me, I don't feel the same way, don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_fl41h", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Am i crazy? xpost from relationships", "post": "I am a 20 M, she is a 21 F. We both attend university, and are both in the same classes. We met about 6 months ago, at the first sight I thought she was beautiful. We started talking more and more in class and it was going great, come to find out she has a boyfriend! I was devesated, I started to have some legit feelings for this girl! Through more conversation I have found out that she is in an abusive relationship. The past few weeks we have been getting even closer then before, you have to realize i see this girl 4 days a week for 6 hours straight. Is she trying to hint that maybe she likes me to? Maybe she wants out of her abusive relationship? Or am I just having some wishful thinking. Lately she has been more touchy towards me, touching my elbow when we talk and laugh playing footsies. So am I crazy? Is there a chance she could like me?", "summary": "I like a girl in my class, found out she has a boyfriend, found out its abusive. We got closer. Could she like me?"} {"id": "t3_izdi5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Any doctors or optometrists on Reddit can give me their opinion?", "post": "I have a damaged optic nerve in my right eye, that has been like that as long as I can remember. Doctors hypothesized it was undeveloped due to being born premature. I recently went to the optometrist to get a new prescription (for my left eye... no change yay!). She checked behind my eye, and said the eye is healthy up to the point where you get to the nerve, and it's all pale (dead). \n\nI asked if something like stem cells could repair the nerve (or a bionic eye in the future) and she informed me that after the age of 10, the brain does not develop the eye portion anymore. Thus even with repair, my brain could not process the info.\n\nI would like other opinions on this... I have heard stories of experimental cameras and artificial limbs being attached, and giving back sight or movement. Is my eye problem shit out of luck? \n\nI still have about 5% or so of vision, but it is hard to focus since the left eye overpowers it greatly (even with the eyelid closed). If I close it, it's as if I was \"thinking\" the image, being overlayed on the blackness of the left eye (well.. more to the right). The vision doesn't seem bad (just blurry since there is no prescription on the right lens), but I have to concentrate real hard, and barely can keep the eye focused on one spot. So would this be enough development to regain sight or would it stay the same?", "summary": "Nerve is dead in right eye, was told even repairing it would not restore vision. Asking for other opinions."} {"id": "t3_23ed9f", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "General Help/Advice? I'm [26/m] confused about my girlfriend [25/f], our relationship, and how I should be feeling.", "post": "First post ever, feels somewhat strange. But anyway, I've been seeing this girl (she's 25, i'm 26) since January and we recently kinda decided that we should be \"together\"..like boyfriend/girlfriend official I suppose. Now, I haven't been in a relationship in at least 6 years...I've had summer flings and friends with benefits type situations, but something steady is extremely foreign to me. \n\n I like this girl and she likes me, that much is plain, but I am constantly scared. I'm scared that this is all some big joke (which it isn't, but I cannot get past that thought), i'm scared that she is just bored and lonely and wants a passing fling/easy fuck, i'm scared that I like this girl too much already and since I don't have relationship experience I'm going to fuck it up and ruin it.\n\nWe talk about my insecurities, and hers, and she understands that this relationship stuff is new to me and that i'm kinda learning as I go along. I just don't know how to feel, I've been alone for so long that having someone there is so strange to me.\n\nBlah, sorry if none of that makes sense.", "summary": "Haven't been in a relationship in 6+ years, starting dating this girl I really like and who I think really likes me, but i'm scared and really unsure of what I'm doing, or what I should be doing."} {"id": "t3_1tqozr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Where's a good place to apply for summer jobs?", "post": "Looking ahead to the summer I'm trying to figure out where I can get a job. I'm a 20 year-old university student currently based in the uk, and I love summer, sun, beaches etc. so am trying to find a job that will be near or involve those things. I've looked up a bunch of hotels in bora bora and Greece and will contact them asking if they have any employment opportunities, but are there other locations/hotels/jobs I should be looking at that will likewise allow me to enjoy the best that summer has to offer during my off-time? I am a hard worker, so I'm not simply looking for a lazy summer job, just wanting to maybe travel somewhere where I can enjoy myself a lot in the summer.", "summary": "what's a good summer job idea/location for a university student wanting to enjoy the sun, beach and weather of a good summer?"} {"id": "t3_1q5etn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 24F broken up with via text by 25M after 4 years", "post": "My ex boyfriend of 4 years ago broke up with me via text 2 weeks ago. He just moved to a new city 4 months ago for a job he got out of school. In the text he said he got a job opportunity that will advance his career and that he needs to take this opportunity. He knows I wouldn't move where he was because theres no jobs in my field there (Ive joked about it before but he didnt even entertain the idea.) He said in the text that he did love me and knew he was being selfish. I was blindsighted, I had seen him 4 days before and everything was normal and great, we spent 4 days together. I guess he was just given the opportunity to sign the contract and we didnt speak for 3-4 days before he broke up with me.\n\nI kept texting asking how he could do that to me and a bunch of other sappy but not mean stuff.. he didn't even want to talk after and screamed at me for even wanting to by text. Next day he talked to me and said he thought it was the best for both of us, hes not ready to move in with someone (like we had planned) , and he doesn't know if he loves me. Im not sure if getting this contract made him realize all of these other insecurities. \n\nI felt like I needed more closure and he wouldnt even respond, I also texted him what he wanted me to do with the stuff that was in my trunk (things he left there when he moved in with me for a month ) and still no response. Why is he blocking me from his life? I told him I understand why we broke up but I still want him in my life. Its been 4 days since my last text to him.\n\nSince the breakup Ive been crying everyday but still being able to attend class and such..I do miss him alot. I know the relationship wont work with him having to be in that city for years and me moving in 6 months by myself now but I want him in my life.", "summary": "ex bf wont text me or call me back even to get his own stuff back even though the break up was his choice.."} {"id": "t3_2rk5q8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my ex [18F] 1 year, do you ever fully get over it and not care anymore?", "post": "Okay so we dated for a year, I found out she was using me to get close to my brother and then was cheating on me with him our last few months. We broke up, shes been out of my life for almost a year now.\n\nDo you ever fully get over it? I dont think about it as much but every time i hear about my brother I just get so fucking angry and bitter. When I get close with girls now i just dont really trust them anymore. I know im more mature and healthier and I don't get bedridden or depressed from what happened anymore, but I still have that nagging feeling from it. I still get dreams about her and wake up pissed and sad for the rest of the day. I still dont really like myself and dont feel lovable. I was just wondering if anyone else went through this and if you ever TRULY get fully over it, or if its just kind of a weight adults learn to carry.", "summary": "Do you ever truly not care about past cheating or do you just get strong enough to deal with it. And if you did completely get over it how did you manage to do that."} {"id": "t3_yhqar", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "[Update] Reddit, I need your help with some family stuff.", "post": "I am the one kid who posted about his parent's looking through my Facebook. Here is the link to the original post: \n\nI couldn't deal with my parent's because of their constant lying and yelling at me, so I decided to lash out. I then did so only to my mother because she is the one who has done the most to me, and when I blew up on her I brought up every single thing I could remember of what she's done to me. The argument went on for quite awhile, but then I decided to leave and go to my friend's empty house while he is in New York. I then called my friend and he came and picked me up from my house. The next day I try and talk to her about what I said and I needed to just finish the fight. However, my mom is not talking to me. She refuses to stay and talk and instead goes out. Reddit, how can I get her to talk to me?", "summary": "Fought with my mom, went to friend's house that night and slept over. Next day she won't talk to me and I want to finish the fight. How do I talk to her?"} {"id": "t3_15tzix", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Tonight is the night, I'm need some advice to get past this.", "post": "It's the night that my long distance relationship is coming to an end.\n\nI did post about this the other day, yet I ended up deleting it as I tried to collect my thoughts.\n\nThe other man in the our relationship is now fact. This has been going on for over a month now. And I've decided to make my stand this evening. I admit these facts are going to help me get over her, but my feelings for this girl were (are) quite strong.\n\nWhen this is over, does anyone know what steps I should be taking to make sure I handle this best way possible?\n\nI give the best of luck to everyone else here.\nYou all deserve much better, especially than I.", "summary": "Had a moment of clarity, my GF of 1\u00bd years has been cheating, tonight I'm going to end this. Has anyone got advice from here on out? I'm quite a mess at the moment."} {"id": "t3_vayuj", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Puppy Attention and Human Guilt, What to do?", "post": "Hi All! My wife and I need some help sorting out a balance between lifestyle and puppy.\n\nWe have a Beagle (Needle) that is a few months shy of a year old. We got her at 2 months so we've had her a decent chunk of time. So far she's been about as good as we can ask for: she doesn't chew on non-toys (except the remote controls, yes plural now. Dunno why she loves those), she has been 100% house trained since about 4 months, and she never barks or howls. The only semi-issue behavior wise (and I've posted here before about this) is that she gets nippy sometimes still.\n\nAnyway, here is the issue: My wife and I both work 9-5. We come home for an hour around 12:30 to take Needle out and give her a bit of a walk. We both knew that Needle would have to be alone 8ish hours a day, but we let her roam the kitchen and give her different types of toys to keep her busy while we're gone. \n\nWhenever there is something that we could do afterwork (go to the theatre, go to the gym, hang out with friends at the coffee shop, etc...), we typically decide that it's our responsibility to stay home and give Needle attention and exercise since she's already home alone for 8 hours a day. \n\nSo my question for all of you is, is there any reasonable way or amount of time that it would be not cruel to leave Needle alone for 2 hours on some Tuesday and Thursday evenings, or some other solution that some of you might have used? We've considered getting her a dog-buddy, but she doesn't do very well with other dogs (also posted here before). Is there an age when it might be more okay to start leaving her on her own more?", "summary": "My wife and I would like to go out sometimes on weeknights without feeling guilty about leaving Needle alone for even more time during the day. Is there a reasonable way to do that?"} {"id": "t3_t05hc", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Failed miserably my freshman year. Need advice moving forward.", "post": "I'm about to wrap up my freshman year at a large state university. Long story short, I slacked off, failed multiple classes and will almost certainly finish with a GPA < 2.0. Drugs and alcohol weren't a problem, I simply tried to get by in college doing the same amount of work I did in high school (almost none) and it didn't work out. Next month I will probably receive a notice saying I've been academically dismissed from the university. \n\nI want to know what my options are to get my life back on track. I know my best bet is to apply to a community college, get straight A's on an Associates program, and re-apply to my old university. I would also like another opportunity to get into different universities, namely NYU, which I was rejected from last year. \n\nI know that after getting 40-60 credits, universities typically don't ask to see high school grades. Is there any way to hide my grades from this year as well? I really want a 3.5 or higher GPA, and if the F grades I got this year transfer over to another university, that will be impossible.\n\nIf anyone else has failed out of a college and gotten back on track, any other input would be appreciated.", "summary": "Failed out after freshman year, is there any way to erase the year's grades from my academic record? Any other advice?"} {"id": "t3_31k4mx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By sexting girlfriend through snapchat [NSFW]", "post": "This happened a mere 10 minutes ago. So I am sexting my girlfriend through snapchat. Fun times. And so I decided to take an artsy video capture of me jerking my tool and send it to her. For the art factor to be included, I decided to use water, as I was showering at that point. Well stupid move. Phones are quite good friends with water. What ended up happening was the water made my phone spaz out. Literally went crazy. So I cleaned it and closed the video. I thought things were fine and dandy, so I continued doing what I was doing previously. Only to then check my account, and realize that it had been posted on my snapchat story. If you guys don't know what it is, it pretty much allows anyone you added to see what you posted there. I panicked. My initial thoughts were \"WHAT IF SOME GIRL FROM MY SCHOOL SAW MY DICK AND IS NOW TELLING EVERYONE\". Luckily only a male friend of mine saw it, and I know this because it tells you whoever opened your story. I deleted it right after, so no one had to see me furiously jacking my dick. This friend, we will name him Bob for safety measures. So I see that Bob saw it, as I mentioned earlier, but maybe he will ignore it I thought. Nope, he tweets out \"I rate that snap story lmao\" and so I knew that I had to talk to him. After a long exchange of direct messages, we just laughed it out. Nonetheless I am still very embarrassed that my friend saw me jerking it, at least only he saw it, and he didn't show anyone. If any of my other friends saw it I swear I would move schools and never show my face again. I was embarrassed at first but now its just a hilarious story to laugh about at parties.", "summary": "Accidentally posted video of me jerking my tool on snapchat story, got lucky only one friend saw it. Embarrassment and some good laughter ensues."} {"id": "t3_1i5zku", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Cut me off? Your feet will pay!", "post": "Everyday I spend a minimum of 2 hours using public transport, with a minimum of 2 transfers from train/bus/subway.\n\nBecause of the size of the stations and going from bus to subway or subway to train, there is quite a distance to walk and I want to cover it quickly.\n\nNow, I'm fairly tall compared to most people in this country and hence I walk with a large stride. I also walk quite quickly (much to my wife's annoyance haha).\n\nBut what irks me to the upmost is when these little people with their short legs cut me off and walk slowly in front of me, especially when talking loudly (they are like macaws here) to their friends or on the phone. So my petty revenge for these people is to either step, heavily, on the back/heel of their shoe or kick underneath their shoe so they take an extra large step.\n\nThe look of pain/surprise is amazing.", "summary": "people cut me off when walking in public transport stations, I step on the back of their feet or kick their feet to have my petty revenge."} {"id": "t3_52uhn5", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by accidently pulling the alarm of the fire alarm in my school", "post": "So this didn't necessarily happen today but when I was a freshman in high school. (Sorry it bothers me too when it isn't \"today\" but it's quite the story)\n\nAnyways... It was during class on safety day (for those who don't know we just practice drills like fire, tornado, and lockdown) and after a fire drill my classmates and I were lining up outside our teachers room. She has a fire alarm right next to her door and guess who was dumb enough to mess with that? Well there was a protective cover over the fire alarm and I was try to figure out whether it was glass or plastic so I lifted the cover up. All of a sudden it started beeping really loudly and it scared the hell out of me. All my classmates immediately stared at me and the other classes sharing the same hallway as my class started peeking their heads out all confused. Safe to say it was the most embarrassing moment of my life, so far.... Also I didn't figure out whether the damn cover was plastic or glass!!", "summary": "messed around with an alarm at school and got teased about it for 4 months. The up side was I finally became popular. The down side was I was popular just not in the way I expected..."} {"id": "t3_ebgym", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, my Dad has invested shit loads of time and money in Dubli and I think it is a crock of shit. Is it?", "post": "Reddit, I have had people proposition me with all sorts of crap in my life and it was dam easy to see right through it. I have had a small proportion of friends over the last couple of years wanting me to join in on these \"massive business prospects\" where I can make \"huge amounts of money with hard work and a little bit of my own cash\"\n\nFor example, the most recent one was a friend who was on the cuff of getting involved in [ACN New Zealand] I humoured him, went to the presentation night at his house, sat down and was not blinded by the douche who tried to convince me I was not prepared to make big $$$$$$.\n\nSo this guy pulls out a bit of paper that looks like a pyramid sturcture laying down on its side. I call bullshit, wait for them to leave, sit down with my friend and tell him I will support him whatever he wants to do in life but this is one of those things that I will not stand behind. \n\nNow, my Dad, who is cannot accept a word of constuctive feedback, has invested in [Dubli] (He is located in New Zealand - Dubli is relatively new) pouring thousands upon thousands into promoting a company that doesn't seem to give anything back.\n\nI called total bullshit after doing some research and getting past the forums littered with Dubli promoters (incluiding many threads on reddit)\nI have only got so far in my search and I need hard evidence that helps me conclude if this is bullshit or not.\n\nExcuse the formatting, punctuation and grammar. I am typing this out in a super small Google Chrome window while I sit at work.", "summary": "My father has invested thousands of dollars in Dubli and I want him to stop. Is Dubli a crock of shit and if so how do I show him the light and get my father to stop?"} {"id": "t3_53es2s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my step-sister of 2 years [19 F], she is having a child and is choosing a terrible name. She asked my opinion and is now pissed at me.", "post": "My step-sister and I have never been close. She has been in trouble with the law several times, is a known meth addict, and constantly borrows money from my dad. Furthermore, she has become pregnant and the family is 99% sure her husband is not the father, as he was locked up around the time the baby would of been conceived. However, my step mother is the enabling type of parent, and sees nothing wrong with how she lives her life.\n\nRecently, after her husband came home from jail, they have announced the name of the baby. They are naming the soon to be baby girl Jenisus, pronounced like the book of the Bible. \n\nNormally, I would roll my eyes, but my step-sister begged the family for criticism. She wanted us to tell her what we really thought. Most of the family just enabled her, but I was honestly sick of her living in such a fantasy world. \n\nI told her that the name makes no sense, has no known origin, is hard to pronounce, and will cause social issues for the child. She definitely did not like my answer, and is now telling the family what a terrible person I am. Furthermore, my open criticism has sparked a fight between my step-mother and father. She wants him to make me apologize, but he has held his ground in requiring me to do so.\n\nIn the interest of saving face and helping my father, how do I placate my step-sisters ego and still not seem like a wuss?", "summary": "Step-sister asked for open criticism on her childs name. I told her it was a terrible name and now she is pissed at me."} {"id": "t3_393667", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[NJ, USA] Advice for dealing with a magazine scam now filing debt through a collection agency, and is their claim legitimate?", "post": "Four years ago, I was naive and fell for a magazine scam. Once I discovered the nature of the transaction, I immediately called to cancel it. The representative was resistant but eventually he allowed me to cancel my account, and I received a refund on the payment. Still they would repeatedly call and try to trick me into re-enrolling into another payment plan despite me saying I wished to be on their DNC list. Today, I received a letter from a debt collection agency saying that a magazine company has filed a claim to collect $1098.90. The rep at the collection agency said I could either settle for half of that amount or attempt to dispute it while waiving my right to settle. \n\nThe rep stated that refunds from the company could be evidence that the company cancelled my account and no money is owed. My credit card statements show refunds for all payments made to these companies, but the rep is telling me that the company filing this claim is not any of the ones that show up on my statement. Now I'm really skeptical because this company does not show up on my statements at all. In the span of four years, my card has been charged three times with all three charges being refunded. The rep from the collection agency stated that they filed on breach of contract for no payment on a 24-month payment plan. However, my issue is that I was never charged these payments on my card, and any charges that were made were refunded not by my credit card company but by the magazine company itself.\nI'm scared of this hurting my credit score, but is this a legitimate claim on their part? If anyone has dealt with something similar, I'd appreciate any and all advice on handling this type of case.", "summary": "Got tricked into a magazine scam four years ago. Cancelled account immediately but am now receiving notice from debt collection agency for charges from a company that supposedly (according to collection agency rep) never even charged my credit card. "} {"id": "t3_m9efj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need help with my media collection and hard drives. Any advice on what to do?", "post": "Hey /askreddit!", "summary": "15.1 TB of space, but running out quickly. [Pic here.] Need backup advice and RAID information."} {"id": "t3_2ef8sr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28F], upset with my mother [65F] over Facebook post.", "post": "My grandmother died today. I found out when I opened Facebook and had messages from a close friend saying \"sorry for your loss\". My mother posted about it to Facebook about four hours before I saw it. No missed calls to my home phone or cell and no texts, she made no attempt to tell me in any way.\n\nI'm... Angry. Plain and simple. This is not the way any person should be given bad news. To be fair, we have known my grandmother would be going soon, its been a long battle with a dibilitating disease and short battle with untreatable cancer. But my mother and I have a close enough relationship that I was expecting a phone call at the least.\n\nI recognize that she lost her mother, and that she's in pain. Maybe she didn't want to call? So I texted and told her that I loved her and was thinking of her. She responds her thanks and tells me that she went out to dinner with friends and is doing well. So now I'm even more angry that she appears \" just fine\" and couldn't even bother to let me know what happened.\n\nI would like to say something to her, after an appropriate amount of time, to let her know that her actions hurt me and left me feeling unimportant to her. Is this a terrible idea? I feel rediculously selfish thinking of my hurt feelings when she just lost her mother. If I did something like this, how exactly would I go about it? What would I say? \n\nMy other thought process is revenge and treating her as she treated me. My family has some news to share, I'm pregnant, and I'm ready to let her find out on Facebook rather than tell her face to face/in a special way as I'd originally planned. I'm sure that's just the anger talking but she kinda would deserve it. Alright reddit what do I do?", "summary": "Mom posted my Grandmothers death to Facebook. Made no attempt to contact or inform me otherwise. I'm hurt and wondering if I should say something."} {"id": "t3_2un75t", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [20/m] am weirded out by my boyfriends [24/m] strange past.", "post": "My boyfriend has done some particularly... unsavory things in regards to intimate encounters with others/a lot of others. I don't want to judge him for what he has done because it has nothing to do with me, I just feel like I didn't snag someone special because of what he has done and what he would do if he were single. In the relationship he acts nothing like his single self. Like, even if i wanted to do the things he has done he wouldnt want to do them with me.\n\nIs it wrong for me not to like them for the things they did/would do when they are single?", "summary": "Boyfriend has kinky unsavory past, acts like a normal vanilla person in relationship and I feel like he isnt special because what he has done and what he wont do with me."} {"id": "t3_2xbbcd", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[M17] Feeling infidelitous concerning my GF[18]", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months now and I've recently been having more than average thoughts of infidelity and the reason is both simple and stupid. \n\nMy girlfriend and I are both very active members of our community and work as well as go to school, we'd been friends for quite some time before dating but after six months I feel like we've hit a wall. We still hang out and see movies and go on dates and all that jazz but we haven't reached any level of intimacy passed kissing and the occasional trip to second base with no indication of progressing further. Due to this, quite idiotically and selfishly, I've been thinking about other gals I interact with and whether or not I could form an intimate only bond with them and exchange sexual related favors with them. Now I'm not personally ready to be having sex but perhaps smaller sexual acts. But that isn't how my mother raised me and it sure as hell wouldn't be fair to the parties involved. I should be only be giving my girlfriend attention like that.\n\nWhat I need help with is how to tell her i'm not feeling satisfied physically and to some degree emotionally without making her feel off put or like it's her fault. And I'm not talking about going from where we currently are to full blow blowing or something but over time working our way there. We have a rather open relationship communication wise and I know I could bring this up to her but I would never know where to start and not hurt her feelings or make her feel forced to do something she would rather not do. I know we're both still fairly young in the grand scheme of things and havent been dating for all that long but I'm bringing this up because I dont feel like anything is going to change for a very, very long time and I don't want to wind up doing something everyone will regret.", "summary": "Bedroom life is fallen stagnate, been thinking of other women, need help talking to my GF about the next step intimacy wise "} {"id": "t3_3a7ons", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Husband's [33M] family realized I [32F] used to be a porn actress. All hell broke lose.", "post": "It happened when I was 19-21. I was never famous or very successful. I acted in a few videos by some studios and the videos are online. I can't take them off as I had contracts which gave the studio the legal right to the videos. They're on a couple of premium websites and a few of them are on PornHub and other free websites. They aren't super popular or anything and they are under stage names. I told my husband before we got married and showed him the videos. Nobody else knows on his side of the family. It has never got back to me, nobody has recognized me ever really until now.\n\nSo a few weeks ago my husband's cousin [29M] has found the videos somehow (I imagine he watches porn 23 hours a day). He emailed the link to the videos to my husband, which he shows me and we decided to play dumb and say it's not me (it was over 10 years ago that the video was shot and the video quality wasn't that high on the link). So he calls him and tells him that he doesn't like the joke. The cousin apologises and says that he thought it would be funny. We thought it's over.\n\nThis morning, he emailed everyone in the extended family with links to high quality videos (I imagine he has tracked down the source of the videos and bought high quality copies). This was the video that he sent to my husband and other videos as well. He then says in the email that \"It's who you think it is\". Also says that they would have loved to know the truth before allowing \"this girl\" part of the family and around our children.\n\nSo as soon as this happens, we had phones ringing asking what's going on. Multiple emails saying they don't want their children/teenagers around me any longer. Multiple people deleted me as their Facebook friends and some have taken the liberty of posting some really hurtful status updates like \"the girl we accepted as part of our family was in fact someone who swallowed someone's sperms in front of camera\". If someone sends this to where I work I could even be fired.\n\nHonestly we haven't done or said anything. We don't know what to do.", "summary": "I played in a few porn videos. Someone found it and sent it to my husband's family. They reacted in the worst way imaginable. We don't know how to respond."} {"id": "t3_1fenop", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Right person, wrong time?", "post": "I'm in a right person, wrong time situation right now and it's a very hard, sad thing to sort out. We have been dating for a year and a half and at the end of the summer I'm moving away to the UK to attend a prestigious law school for three years and my boyfriend has three years left of his degree in Canada. He's the first person I've ever loved and we get along so well. I consider him my best friend, we talk everyday, and we're just easily compatible. Our relationship isn't perfect and neither is he but nobody is and I could see myself being with him and being happy for a long time. However, studying law and studying abroad has always been a dream of mine and I've worked really hard to get this so it's an opportunity I can't pass up. It doesn't change the fact that I have to end this amazing relationship with a guy I love. I hate the thought of him being with another girl but I know it'll happen and I'm terrified of losing contact with him and becoming strangers. I wonder how long it'll take for me and for him to move on. Do you think if we were to meet again at the right place and right time in our lives we could be together again?", "summary": "in love with my boyfriend of one and a half years but I'm moving across the world for my dream education opportunity and we have to break up. Right person, but wrong time in my life."} {"id": "t3_y1v3w", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I prevent \"The one that got away\" from happening?", "post": "I met this guy a few years back. We were amazing for eachother. We accomplished so much and made eachother so happy. However, it was our lousy communication and our nervous/awkwardness that ruined things. He quietly thought to himself that I was using him as a rebound after the ex I left him for. I thought he still had a crush on his crush of 5 years. So, we were always in \"self protect\" mode from a few weeks into our relationship. However, it didn't start that way. He came out with so many beautiful long term things in the first few days like a happy kid at Christmas. I completely felt the same way. Then our awful minds got the worst of us and we never communicated. So, after a few months, we broke up after me being confused over his old crush after I met her. However, after the break up, we hung out more than ever and he'd look for reasons to see me, come over my place, or go out somewhere. I cuddled him one of those times and he got all nervous like it was the beginning of us again. However, he moved 1000 miles away...oddly at the same time I got a job offer to move nearby. We're the same out here. I'll crash with him and he'll push for me to sleep in his arms if I can't sleep and he'll help me anytime I ask, etc. I started dating somebody else to try to move on and I'm still with him...for a year now. And, I'm always in self protect mode around the first guy saying I've moved on but he knows I'm not truly happy. The first guy is career focused and doesn't know where he'll land after finishing his second degree here. So, he's scared of a relationship holding him back. How do I convince him he's the one for me and I'd never stop his career.", "summary": "We're perfect for eachother. Confusion, miscommunication and fear are keeping us apart. How do I tell him I love him without scaring him and that a relationship with me will never hold back his career."} {"id": "t3_245xbs", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/m] girl I met [20/f] likes me but I don't like her as much due to opposite personalities.", "post": "I met this girl at a party, I saw her the next day and we exchanged numbers. Fast forward a month later and I find her personality is completely opposite of mine. \n\nShe's outgoing, friendly, vocal, and adventurous. I'm the complete opposite, introverted, quiet, and I prefer chilling at home cuddling / talking, whereas she's active and wants to always do things, never at home.\n\nI feel like her and I are complete opposites, yet I believe she is very attracted to me. As hard as I've tried, I've been unable to reciprocate the same feelings. Normally, I would just end things, but I've learned a lot about this girl. Specifically, how guys have screwed her over / always leaving and it hurts knowing that I'd most likely do the same. We haven't had sex yet, so I'm thankful for that, **but I want to let her know that I want her to be happy, but she's not the right girl for me, and I feel like I'm not the right guy for her**. \n\nHow do I tell her I don't think we should be dating because of personality differences? Also, is there anyway I can alleviate the inevitable pain she will feel? She really loves icecream so should I get her a tub of it?", "summary": "girl who has been hurt by past guys really likes me. I do not have the same feelings because we are opposites."} {"id": "t3_1mwh3a", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Women of reddit: How do you feel about dating a guy that lives at home?", "post": "Backstory: I'm 37/m and I live at home. I recently moved in with my father and step-mother after working for a huge, soul crushing corporation in another city. I am currently involved in a start up with a friend and have another job on the side. I am able to pay my bills but only if I do not pay rent. That said, I have two jobs and pay my own way.\n\nSo, women of reddit, is it completely unattractive when a guy says he lives at home? Do you automatically peg him as a \"loser\" or not long-term material? I'm also trying online dating again and wonder if this is something I need to add to my profile as a \"disclaimer\".", "summary": "I am gainfully employed but live at home because of financial reasons. Just wondering if this is completely unattractive to the fairer sex?"} {"id": "t3_1ivmsy", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "hooking up with a longtime friend i like, who likes someone else. i want to get her out on a date, what should i do?", "post": "I've hooked up twice in the past couple weeks with a girl i have been friends with for almost 10 years. We ended up liking each other a few years ago but we would really only hang out during the summer when we were at summer camp together which is now the place we both work.\n\nWhenever summer came around either i had a gf or she had a bf so we never tried anything, except once when she broke up with her bf in the middle of the summer for me. But then she went back to him because we both agreed it wasn't right for her to stop dating a guy she had been with for 2 years and had no problems with because she wanted to try dating me.\n\nSo this summer we are both single, but a new kid just started working with us that no one knew before(everyone else who works there has been in the camp, so we all grew up together). Hes actually a pretty cool guy and i became quick friends with him.\n\nThe other night before i hooked up with her again she told me she liked him because hes really smart (he just graduated college at 20 years old) and shed been flirting with him but \"hes being a bitch\" and wont ask her out, she also said shes really attracted to me and shes liked me for years.\n\nShe says she wont go on a date with me because we work together. But she had no problem hooking up with me the other night. I like her and have no clue what to do.", "summary": "just hooked up twice this month with a friend of 10 years i really like. she likes the new kid at work, we both knew this before we hooked up. what do i do?"} {"id": "t3_463dvm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] broke my sorority sister's [18F] nice camera and I don't want to replace it.", "post": "Long story short, my sorority sister \"Jana\" has a really nice Nikon camera. I asked to borrow it so I could take photograph a friend of mine for a competition. As the title says, I tripped while we were taking pictures and I broke it. The whole thing is busted and I don't think it's fixable.\n\nObviously I felt bad, so I looked up online how much these cameras cost. I was expecting to pay like $200 to replace it, but this is a $700 camera!!! I don't have that kind of money. I told Jana today that her camera was broken and she was PISSED. She told me I would have to buy her a new one. I told her I couldn't afford it, and that I shouldn't have to completely replace it since the damage wasn't intentional. It was an accident, and accidents happen. Now she won't talk to me, and apparently she's considering taking me to small claims over this?? \n\nMy question is, am I wrong to not think I should have to pay $700 so she can have a new camera? How should I handle this?", "summary": "I borrowed someone's $700 camera and broke it. I don't think I should have to pay to replace it. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_qey08", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How can my fiance and I get out of the USA and live in Scandinavia without a bureaucratic nightmare?", "post": "My fiance and I are 26 years old. We have traveled all over this beautiful world. We have been all over Europe, Asia, Northern Africa, and Scandinavia. Of all the places we have visited, we feel Scandinavia offers us the best potential life that we are looking for.\n\nHave any of you ex-patted to Scandinavia from the US or has anyone you know done this successfully? \n\nWe want to spend the rest of our lives in either Norway, Denmark, or Sweden.\n\nHOW TO DO!?\n\nAlso, I am a long time lurker, first time poster.", "summary": "GET US OUT OF THE US AND INTO SCANDINAVIA, THIS PLACE IS GETTING SPOOKY. HALP!"} {"id": "t3_3g9bis", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[26/F] in a long-term relationship with a man, not sure if I'm even remotely straight.", "post": "Jumping right into this: he was my first everything, we've been together since I was 20, I've never been attracted to him in the sense that I wanted to tear his clothes off and make passionate love to him and, in fact, I've never been a fan of penetration at all. It hurts.\n\nAs the years have gone by I've begun to realize that when I masturbate, I'm always fantasizing about other women, but I've never really done the whole go out and flirt bit with *anyone*, so I'm not sure if this is just a natural thing and I'm straight or bi or good god I have no idea.", "summary": "how the hell do you decide if you're straight or not, also how do you break the fact that you want to experiment to your long-term partner?"} {"id": "t3_3apg4j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18] told my girlfriend [27] that i might not be the one for her. Deeply regret it", "post": "So my girlfriend and i of about a year were talking about the long term us and how the age gap would play into our relationship down the line. I really love this girl with all my heart and i cant imagine being with anyone else right now. \nShe said that my age makes things difficult for her and she wants to eventually settle down. I said that because of my age, i might not be the right one for her. That is where i fucked up.\n\nShe immediately started crying and said it was the most hurtful thing I've ever said. She said that it shows just how eaisly i would give her up and to find someone else because i dont care enough to try harder for her.\n\nI deeply regret saying it and she hasnt talked to me since. Im worried that she thinks i dont care about her nearly as much as i should. Im not sure where to take it from here. Replies are much appreciated.", "summary": "Told gf of 1 year that i might not be the right one. She is extremely upset and doesnt want to talk to me. What do/say?"} {"id": "t3_36jiqq", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Blunt eye pain when blinking and burning sensation.", "post": "Hey, I'm a 21yo male, about a week ago I accidentally slept with my contacts on at night and ended up waking to very very red eyes. I immediately took them out upon waking up and realizing I slept with them on. But now my eyes will go from white to red randomly, I've decided to not where my contacts for awhile and it's still happening. Yesterday though I started to get a blunt pain in my left top eye when I blink and it occasionally feels like my left eye is burning and will water up. Any advice? Could I see a optometrist about this problem or would it have to be an ophthalmologist?", "summary": "Slept with contact lenses on accidentally, have red eyes now off and on for about a week, burning sensation and blunt pain in left eye."} {"id": "t3_1ocdc1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Downvoters of Reddit: What are the reasons you usually downvote a comment or a post", "post": "besides the obvious \"it's offensive\" or \"it's wrong\" or \"they're trying to be a troll\" or something along those lines, why do you tend to downvote people.\n\nfor example, in a previous askreddit about things you could buy legally, I made a comment about a student who applied to my college who built a nuclear reactor in his backyard, and then made a fuss when he didn't get in.\n\nI explained that the reactor was functional, and just wasn't given fuel and I gave an explanation as to how they could tell it was functional that came directly from people who work at the nuclear reactor at my university\n\nit was an entirely fact-based comment and yet it got downvoted a good deal. I've also seen other comments get downvoted and I don't understand it.\n\nso why do YOU downvote things?", "summary": "with the exception of obvious reasons, why would you downvote a comment or post? (like those that are factual)"} {"id": "t3_lq30p", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why do people find other's injury's funny?", "post": "Is their any physiological explanation as to why people find it amusing? Or is it maybe I am missing something?\n\nExample: I was watching Tosh.0 (only thing on) at my friends house and their was a video of a guy falling out of a tree probably around 30 feet. He then proceeds to cry out in pain, while his stupid friend asks him \"Dude, are you OK?\" (albeit that part I did find funny). My friend found this video immensely amusing, while I just cringed and basically got angry as to people laughing at this life threatening accident. We get into a heated argument about why that is funny, and basically his whole argument revolved around the guy was videotaping himself climb a tree, he fell, that's funny cause he is stupid. \n\nPlease help me understand why some people find this humorous?", "summary": "Tosh.0 clip, guy gets hurt, friend finds it funny, I don't know why someone would find it funny."} {"id": "t3_18lark", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I'm scum I know it (MF both 38)", "post": "Ok, I made a bad decision a few years back while going through some crazy shit and cheated on my wife in an anonymous one-night deal. I confessed to her and have spent the last 2-3 years paying for that poor decision. (Haha understatement of the year. I get it I'm scum.)\n\nNow down the road I find her growing distant to me, again. I've not done anything bad of late and our communication and financial issues have been subsiding but she's drawing back. We've had a year or two of marital counseling and have talked on and off again about divorce. We've both in the recent past gone so far as to retain attorneys.\n\nThe last few months things had gotten better, I thought the improved communication was bringing growing intimacy but now with this? Tonight is Valentine's and she wanted to go off and read alone all evening. Now I just started a new job and find myself flirting with some of the women there and am feeling like pursing another one night stand just for the attention.", "summary": "I don't even know what my question is I guess, I just wanted to get this frustration off my chest. I don't really want to cheat on her but the temptation is there again."} {"id": "t3_pm7jf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I think I have a heart problem but my parents refuse to believe me. What should I do?", "post": "I have had a serious anxiety issue since I was 13 and it's been on and off since then. Currently, for the past year, it's been \"on\" and my anxiety has been at it's worst. Due to my anxiety, I can't drive a car, I left my job, I can't really go outside of my town or anywhere I am absolutely comfortable with, and I have picked up a major drinking problem. Since May of 2011, I have been drinking just about every single night and at minimum that means 6 drinks. Most of the time, it's around 10-12 drinks. Over the past week, my alcoholism has gotten really horrible and I am drinking the minute I wake up until right when I go to sleep. It helps ease my anxiety a lot. It also might be worth noting that I smoke cigarettes (maybe like 4-5 a day) and I live a very sedentary lifestyle. I eat very healthy, though. \n\nI also think I have an issue with my heart or something around there. I have these weird moments where it feels like I missed a breath or something and I freak out for a second. It almost feels like I can't breathe but after a few really short breaths, I can breathe normally again. I have told my parents about this and they are saying it's anxiety. I also asked my doctor about the breathing thing a few months ago and she said that breathing in weird patterns is a pretty normal characteristic of people with anxiety. My problem is that my parents won't let me use our medical insurance or pay for me to go to the hospital/doctor to get it checked out. What should I do about this?", "summary": "I have an anxiety disorder and I am an alcoholic. I think something may be wrong with my heart. Parents won't allow me to go to the doctor."} {"id": "t3_4jkt7d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [21M] said incredibly hurtful stuff to me [18/F] his words are etched in my mind and now I'm walking eggshells with him. Help.", "post": "We had an awful fight yesterday and he literally ripped into me and ended off by saying \"And I'm not going feel bad !\" We got out of the car and things were awkward. I felt so weak and sad, he went to talk to his friends like nothing happened ... I was beside myself. I decided to go and apologise for making him that angry, he said it was cool and we made up ... but I am still deeply hurt by what he said ... I want to hurt the way he hurt me ... also I'm big on comuncating my feelings , but I'm petrified telling him his words hurt me, will result in another fight like yesterday's one. What should I do ? Because at this point I really just want to be done with him and move on ...", "summary": "Boyfriend said some would stuff to me and I am so deeply hurt by them, but I'm scared bringing it up will result in another argument in which he ruins me once more."} {"id": "t3_fniam", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the most awkward and/or interesting way you have ever asked someone out?", "post": "Mine actually ends with a \"Forever Alone\" moment.\n\nA girl I worked with back when I was in college was always on my mind and the best part of having that job. I had always made small talk and casually flirted with her. After about six or so months of this, I decided that I needed to make the move or else.\n\nI was in another co-workers office one day and while meeting with them, I noticed a novelty magnet with an Eleanor Roosevelt quote \"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. \"\n\nWhen I saw this, in my mind I said \"fuck it\", pulled the magnet off the file cabinet and walked straight to her desk. I slammed the magnet down and said \"Do you want to go out sometime?\" Her response was an immediate \"Yes\"!\n\nI was very excited that my confidence had finally paid off and walked back to my office like a boss. About three hours later, she came by and said \"I hope you asked me out as a friend because that is how I perceived it\" I tried to recover by saying, \"Yeah of course\" but we both knew it was awkward and I had failed.", "summary": "Put my balls on the line by unfairly putting a female co-worker on the spot. Got my balls handed to me."} {"id": "t3_d8urw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Information given over police and other public service radio...", "post": "So I'm at work and using the Scanner Radio app on my Droid (awesome app btw) to keep myself busy. Listening to the police scanners is particularly interesting, but what I've noticed is they will often give out a lot of personal information over the radio, including first, middle, and last name, ID numbers, DOB, VIN of cars also including the license plate, telephone numbers, addresses, etc. My question is, how safe is it to be broadcasting this information over the radio so openly? I doubt thousands of people are listening to the radio hunting for people's personal info, and I know a lot of this can be found in public access databases and whatnot... but it's still a valid question.\n\n(I'm mainly thinking about those who might listen in for a chaotic situation, wait for a phone number, name, address, and then prank call/cause other mischief. )\n\nAnd on a slightly related note: what's the most interesting thing you've heard while listening to a radio scanner?", "summary": "There's a lot of cool stuff being said over police/emergency services radio, great way to get you through the work day. Get Scanner Radio on Android :D"} {"id": "t3_1lo938", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've [31/m] got some interesting questions about my platonic friend [26/f]", "post": "I've moved to a city, I'll be here temporarily. Through OKCupid, I've made a friend here who's about five years younger than I am. She and I are good friends, and other than a drunken kiss (For context, we were drunk, but I'm not comfortable with pursuing things with drunken women, so I paid for a cab to get her home safe). \nShortly after, she made it quite clear that we're better as friends, and in balance, that was a better thing to do. I am, however, having an issue with some of the ways she crosses lines \u2013 If she's not attracted to me, I'm pretty uncomfortable with the fact that she puts her head in my lap when she comes by to watch movies. I have spoken to her about it, and she sees that it's a space-and-signals thing. She also has no problem telling me about guys that she's slept with, albeit in oblique ways I'm less and less attracted to her because of some maturity issues she has, but she's a nice person to be around.\nAt this point, I would really like to know a few things, and would appreciate opinions: \n1) Why tell me who you're sleeping with?\n\n2) There's a clear maturity gap. I don't make friends very easily, and it's a pattern of behaviour which I've been trying to break, as it's important to have a diverse group of friends around. That being said, would it be a good idea to continue the friendship?", "summary": "1) Is it worth keeping the friendship when the maturity levels don't match? 2) She's not interested, but keeps pushing boundaries. What's up with that?"} {"id": "t3_2ru36x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "After a hookup one night with my friend/coworker[24/F], i [20/M] want to take things further, don't know how to tell her.", "post": "My friend and I were at a party not too long ago and after the gathering we went back to her place. We were both aware of our attractions towards each other for a while but some relationship situations with us both kept us away from each other in \"that way \". But anyways, at her place we made out a lot and got into bed and got all touching and what not but it never got past that. At one point she looked at me and told me she really cares about me. We basically spent the night talking about random things and kissing here and there but nothing further. I was perfectly fine with that and I still am. \nThe only thing is that after that night we talk a little less and when we do it's nothing that'll keep a conversation going and it usually ends pretty quick. We have not talked about that night or what we can make of it now. \nI want to tell her that I want to try things out between us but don't know how to tell her. I want to talk about that night too but I don't want her to get the impression that I'm just trying to do that again but go all the way. \nI don't really have close friends to ask for advice on these things, so why not strangers on reddit?\n\nHelp a guy out?!", "summary": "Spent a night together with my friend, want to tell her I want to actually give things a shot, don't know how to come around to bringing it up to her."} {"id": "t3_2nrwkb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M23] slept in another girl's [F24] bed after a night out, should I tell my gf [F23]?", "post": "My GF of two years and I are going through a bit of a rocky patch. I was out drinking with some old college friends last week and got talking to a friend of a friend who turned out to be going through much the same situation, and ended up going back to her place.\n\nI'm not proud of it, the only positive of the situation is that we didn't kiss/have sex, we just chatted and then crashed out fully clothed in her bed. \n\nI feel really guilty now, as I'd obviously hate if she did the same to me, and have no idea what to believe if she confessed a similar incident to me. Nobody knows that we went back to her place together, as we live in the same area. If she asks, should I tell her the truth?", "summary": "slept in the same bed with a girl who's not my gf in drunken foolishness, luckily nothing happened, should i tell my gf if it comes up?"} {"id": "t3_4ksnig", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27M] think my dad [60M] sees me as a nerd.", "post": "Just to start off, I am a nerd. I spend my time painting models of dragons, designing/playing board games and I love reading on fantasy myths and stories. \n\nHowever, recently I've been noticing a few comments in which makes me believe that my father doesn't respect me or just sees me as a nerd.\n\nLast night my family was having dinner and people were asking me what I would like for my birthday. (it's coming up in July) and while I was telling people I over heard my dad say to my BIL \"my friends introduced me to drinking and drugs, not dragons.\" Later when talking about my car, he made a comment, again to my BIL, how I'd never actually worked on a car so how would I know what it was like to get actually dirty. He makes comments like this often, have it be my choice in drinks, my hobbies or really anything. \n\nNow, I have always been a mother's boy but I respect my father a lot. He provided well for myself and three siblings. While not the most approachable man, he was there for games, try outs or science fairs. He worked at a job and I grew up in an upper middle class household. I never needed to get a part time job until I graduated, nor did I have to rebuild an engine to get my car running. \n\nI don't know if he's just making a joke but I just feel that I've disappointed my father because of my choice in hobbies. Do I just ignore it or do I talk to him?", "summary": "My dad thinks I'm a nerd and I feel that I disappointed him because I'd rather paint minis instead of working on a car."} {"id": "t3_3vf6uf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [28F] am having trouble with my fiance [28 M] because I'm the only one he knows in the US so far", "post": "I have been in a relationship for 2 years and am now engaged to my lovely fiancee. I love him so much and am extremely happy to be marrying him. I met him in Spain (he's Spanish) while I was working there but, about a year into the relationship, he had to move to a different city and we saw each other only on weekends. \n\nNow, after 4 months of being completely separated (he was still in Spain waiting for his visa and I had come back to the US to start working), he is finally here! Yay! Except...I am having a hard time with him always being around. I feel terrible because I love him and yet I feel like I need space. The time we spend together is great and I have fun with him, but then sometimes I am just tired and want to relax or be on my own. I realize this is probably a common thing with moving in with someone, regardless of the previous situation, but I also think that, because he's brand new to this country, I am (so far) the only person he really knows. Anyone been through something similar? How do you balance a little bit of independence with someone who only has you to depend on? I keep crying when I'm alone because I feel so guilty for being happy to have alone time and then I don't even enjoy my alone time! He also doesn't have his work permission yet so he just kind of waits for me at home all day and then when I get home from work tired and wanting to relax, he is all \"let's go out! let's do things!\" and it's a little difficult for me.\n\nI feel guilty even posting this reddit, honestly. I had it open on my computer forever before deciding to hit submit because I just feel so terrible for feeling this way.", "summary": "Fiance just moved to my country and I am unsure of how to find a balance between \"me time\" and not leaving him with no one to hang out with."} {"id": "t3_48ikgo", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Employee let go unfairly imo what are his next steps?", "post": "So I work in Langley BC and one of my friends that worked with me was given a review on how his work has been. The review wasn't that great saying he needs to improve on a bunch of stuff. A week later he was let go because those things weren't improved on which is all fine and dandy, but he was never once given any direction on how to improve and any time he would ask questions for a problem he was having he would basically be told to research it himself. Is there something he can do legally to get back at the company or did they cover their butts by giving him a 'review' what can he do now besides the obvious getting a new job. Legally does he have a case?", "summary": "friend let go from company after a 'review' on things he needed improvement on but was fired before he even had a chance to improve on anything"} {"id": "t3_jg7x9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Who is/was your most annoying co-worker ever?", "post": "Had a new guy start at my work the other week. He sits in a space with me and 2 other guys. Before he started it was a nice relaxed atmosphere and I generally liked being at work.\n\nThis guy starts and decides to listen to music without headphones and doesn't ask anyone if its okay (2nd day of work). I find this distracting as the music is rather loud and some of daily tasks require a lot of concentration. I email him boss as I'm on good terms with him and ask his boss to ask him to use headphones as I'm not good at confrontations. A week later he starts up again by putting the music on at midday then slowly turning it up throughout the day till its loud at 3pm. I talked to his boss again as if I asked him I'd end up killing him with a stapler.\n\nHe is about 55 and really fat, he has breathing problems which he tries to cover up by making it sound like he's just whistling. So all day I get this faux-whistling which makes me want to throw my computer at him. He also seems to do that snort thing when you have mucus on the back of your throat like 10mins an hour.\n\nHe's a know-it-all and tries to butt in every conversation I have with anyone. Someone will come and ask me to update something on our intranet and he will turn around getting ready to say something. On top of that he will talk to you for 30mins or more on one of his stories even if you respond in grunts.\n\nHis most charming features are being racist, homophobic and generally a dirty old man. He's a grand-father and likes to talk about his 18 year old sons girlfriend and her friends in a very perverted manner.", "summary": "New guy at work makes me want to kill him. This is a serious first world problem that I needed to vent.*"} {"id": "t3_y3bz0", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I am clingy. Help!", "post": "The relationship with my gf brought up this post. I am having legit issues, which will probably end our relationship.\n\nWhat i ask for though, is insight.\n\nI've realized throughout my life that i cling to stuff. I have difficulty letting some things go.\n\nI see and ask people whether they care or a certain something or not. The majority that i ask say \"no\".\n\nMany times i feel like life is essential without certain things. Like i don't understand the point of a girlfriend if we don't hug each other when we sleep together. We do it sometimes, but to me it's actually about as essential as sex. I don't understand why i want to snuggle sometimes and she doesn't want to. I seem to want it more.\n\nThis is a funny anecdote. One day i asked her why she didn't wanna hold hands together or something of the sort. She said \"i'm just not in the mood\". I didn't bother to challenge that, i just left it at that. Another time later, she came over to hug me, i tried to push her away and keep doing what i was doing. She asked if there was anything wrong, but i just said \"oh no, it's not that babe, i'm just not in the mood right now.\" She looked at me, confused, containing a bemused expression, and i went \"what?\". \"But you're always in the mood!\" She laughed as she said that.\n\nThis is just an example of my \"clinginess\". But it seems to affect me in other areas of life too. The point is, i just wanna get rid of it.\n\nRegarding my gf, i am just gonna pretend she just doesn't exist. Idk how else to simulate a non-clingy version of me. I will just focus on the things i'm really into. Working out, my engineering courses, and having parties and fun with friends.\n\nAs to insight. Do \"you people\" do this automatically? Why? How?", "summary": "i am clingy. I don't understand non-clingy people. I want to know why and how they live life without certain things."} {"id": "t3_1ljvyx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by closing my bedroom door.", "post": "I am 22 years old but have old-fashioned parents. My boyfriend was visiting for this past weekend but was not allowed to stay in my room despite me living away for the past five years and my parents being completely aware that I stay in his room at his apartment when I visit. We were actually just laying in bed redditing but my dog was barking ferociously downstairs so I made the executive decision to close the door to my room so we could hear the TV in the background and continue relaxing while on the Internet. My mom comes upstairs and sees my bedroom door closed... immediately assumed we're having sex... immediate bitch session.", "summary": "Today, I got bitched at for having sex when I was just innocently redditing in bed with my boyfriend and didn't want to be disturbed by my miniature, annoying dog."} {"id": "t3_3mj15r", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by making it look like I was making love to my dog.", "post": "As you expect, this did not happen today (errmagerd snskakd) but about 4 years ago\n\nSo I was about 14-15 at the time and watching the movie Memento (fucking awesome movie). Now the couches in the living room have the back facing the windows and the curtains were open.\n\nSo near the end of the movie, my dog comes in and decides to put his front legs on the couch and infront of me to greet me, I react my giving him a hug and a kiss behind his ear, that's when I notice my dog following his eyes on something toward the window. I turn my head around and what a coincidence, there are 2 girls (1 of them were neighbours) looking in the window at the exact same time as I'm hugging my dog and sort of laughing, presumably thinking I'm making love or doing fucked up shit to my dog.", "summary": "watching awesome movie, dog decides to greet me, I hug him, 2 girls look in and probably think I'm doing the nasty with my dog"} {"id": "t3_38mkis", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my GF [19 F] 9mths, more like a friendship?", "post": "We get along very well, so I would really like to fix what's happening right now. Basically, she is a very cautious person. I am her first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything. So far, we have kissed and made out, with a bit of fondling by me (none by her).\n\nBefore making any advances whatsoever, I go very very far out of my way to make sure she is okay with what's happening. She has told me that she appreciates this so much. However, the other day, I brought up going farther, as we haven't moved past the making out in probably 4 months, and I consider myself HL. I am absolutely against pushing her to do something she wouldn't want to do. Her response was basically to say that she liked the pace things were moving at (not much of a pace anymore).\n\nHowever, the fact that we only get slightly intimate every 2 weeks or so makes this relationship feel like a friendship, like I'm dating my mother or something. It doesn't feel at all like she is sexually attracted to me and I am definitely running low on patience.\n\nDoes anyone have advice for me? Anyone been in her position and have insight? We are talking this out, but to me it is an embarrassing issue and I would rather not talk about it with my friends.", "summary": "overly cautious GF of 9 months who I get along with really well isn't putting out sexually at all, and running low on patience myself."} {"id": "t3_3n6mx4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (22M) Missed My Chance and can't get over it, please help?", "post": "During my spring semester I had to do a group project. One of my group member brought a friend. During the group meeting I chit chat with her friend a bit and found we had something in common. She seems like an amazing girl. I had class right after so I had to leave ASAP. I didn't think too much of it. After school was done and I got to thinking that I missed my chance with a great girl. It's been 4 months and I can't seem to get over it. I still have 1 more year of school till I graduated, but I'm sure she graduated. Her friend is still in school with me but it was just a group project. Is it weird if I try to find and talk to her over fb (we don't have any friends in common)? I know it's cliche but I feel like I can't be happy without her (probably being a drama queen..). I don't feel like socializing with any other girl, and I can only somewhat focus on school work. I would do some school work and I stop to think about how I missed a chance.", "summary": "Can't get over a missed chance I had and its affecting my socializing and schoolwork. In need of advice of what to do."} {"id": "t3_21aln1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23/F] with my boyfriend [22/M] 6 years, he doesn't remember things he tells me.", "post": "Quick Background: My boyfriend and I have been together for a satisfying and memorable six years. We've lived together for the past three of those six years. It used to be a rare occurrence that there was an argument we had that we couldn't resolve by calmly talking it out. This has changed lately.\n\nMy boyfriend has odd habit of forgetting important things he says/does. It's been something I've known about him since we met (from forgetting previous actions to forgetting things I witness him telling others), but it really throws a wrench in solving the issues we've been having. Here's an example: He recently invited me to an event related to his job that involves both of our interests. I agreed to go with him. However, a few days before the event I asked him what time we would be leaving that day so I could plan ahead. He completely didn't remember inviting me and told me it was too late since space was limited for transportation to the event. I was kind of hurt, but he kept insisting that for various \"logical\" reasons that didn't even make sense that he would have invited me in the first place. This was the second time in the past few months that he forgot about inviting me to go somewhere with him, but it's hard to talk to him about it if he insists on not remembering these things.\n\nThis happens all the time in various forms and fashions, but again he insists on the fact that if he doesn't remember it, then it didn't happen. He won't remember leaving something out of place when I know I always put that object where it belongs, he will deny that he told his sister he would do something for her even if I was there in the room and could recite the conversation, and sometimes it concerns important things like previous resolutions to previous arguments/disagreements UNLESS another party is there to confirm he did indeed do/say that thing, then and only then will he admit to things he says he doesn't remember doing/saying.", "summary": "My boyfriend forgets he says/does things. This makes communicating issues difficult. How do we deal with a problem if he doesn't remember the problem happened in the first place?"} {"id": "t3_1vvnl9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My ex [27f] and I [27m] have been hanging out/sleeping together for about 6 weeks. She doesn't seem interested in getting back together and I have developed feelings again", "post": "She often talks about her other exes and references her sex life in front of me despite the fact I know I'm the only person she's sleeping with. We don't kiss or get close, we have seemed to fall into a friends with benefits-type situation. I know she is using me for support an comfort as she doesn't seem to have any of her own friends besides the friends of the guy she's dating at the time.\n\nI'm starting to get fed up with this arrangement (as the sex isn't even frequent enough to keep me around anyways) and am looking for some words of encouragement about how to proceed. \n\n**How do I bring this up with her without seeming too sensitive?** Talking about getting back together usually annoys her which is a huge red flag to me. Do I tell her \"look, I can't do this anymore because I want more from you\" or simply go NC? We spend 4-5 nights together a week and I often sleep over in her bed. Sex usually only happens when we're fucked up. \n\nI need to move on and not let myself get any more attached than I already am, but hold out hope that we may be able to get back together. Will pulling back show her that she can't have the best of both worlds or should I just cut my losses?", "summary": "ex and i are friends with benefits but I want to either get back together or end things with her. How do I proceed/what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_54xp0q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "34/F...so...uhhh, this \"trust\" thing...Apparently Im supposed to \"build\" in order to have a health relationship. Help!", "post": "Im 34/f, relationship 6 mo with 35/m. Realistically, no reason to distrust him. But in MY head (based off of every relationsip I've had), I feel I need to doubt every woman that \"likes\" a pic of his, says hello, says \"hey, hope youre well, miss ya!\"\nEach of these statements make me think doomsday scenarios, even though I have no reason to think such things about him.\nHow (aside from therapy) do I kinda grow up from this type of behavior?? I understand that Im too old to even be having these issues muchless asking on Reddit, but opinions always help me weigh my actions and options...\nTIA", "summary": "I cant trust people because EVERY SINGLE MAN I've dated has lied to me and cheated. Every. One."} {"id": "t3_34w8nt", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Friend (24F) moving far away from me (26M), worried about drifting apart.", "post": "A friend of mine is moving away (6hr drive) to go back to school. We've worked together for just over a year, which is where I met her. During this time we've got to know each other pretty well and also spend time together outside of work. I was working away from home for about 5 months during this time, we'd exchange the occasional email and chat when I was in the office, but the past couple months since I got back especially I've felt that we've become closer friends. Sparing the details, we're very similar people and I'm more comfortable around her almost anyone else I know. She's gay, so there's no romantic aspect to this.\n\nIn short, there's nothing really in the city for her and she's going back to school. The only people around here that she actually wants to keep in contact with are myself and her current roommate (her words). Obviously I've told her a few times already that I'm really going to miss having her around but I can completely understand where she is coming from. At this point in time she doesn't have any intention of returning to the area.\n\nShe's moving at the end of the month and it's kind of just starting to set in that she's leaving and I'm not sure why it's hitting me so hard. By pure luck I suppose my closest friends have remained in the area. I guess I've never really had someone I cared about move this far away before and that's why it's getting to me. I don't really know how to handle it and it doesn't help that I'm stuck working 4 hours away from home for the next two weeks either with no one to really talk with at all.\n\nI guess I'm worried that, being individuals that tend to gravitate towards being alone (introverted), we're going to drift apart or have a hard time communicating, and that I'll end up losing contact with this great person that I've just recently found. Almost all of our communication is face to face.", "summary": "\u2013 close coworker/friend is moving fairly far away and I'm not sure how to handle it or what to expect for long distance communication, or whether we're going to drift apart."} {"id": "t3_kwvvg", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What should I put in a care-package for my unemployed friend?", "post": "A friend of mine just lost his job because the office of the ad agency he worked for shut down. He had about two weeks notice which was obviously not enough time to find a new job. He's free-lancing now, but the income is unstable and no where near what he used to make. SO, my idea was to send him a care package of sorts with random things that he might like that he wouldn't buy for himself with his current budget constraints. For example, I'm going to buy him some film because he likes to take pictures with vintage 35mm cameras, but may not be able to splurge on the film now. What else can I put in? My budget is around $50.00.", "summary": "I need suggestions for what to put in a care package for an ~~unemployed~~ free-lance art director."} {"id": "t3_2ekkeo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] got left by my girlfriend [18F] of 2.5 years one month ago and having a very bad time.", "post": "I'm 20 and for 2 and a half years i was together with the most amazing girl ever. She could make me so happy. Last month she decided she couldn't be with me anymore. I gave her everything she wanted but the reasons she gave for breaking up were: \n* I wasn't social enough according to her: Yes i was silent around her friends because they were strange people and i didn't get a good feeling with them. With my friends and random group of strangers that happen to be at house parties i get along just fine and talk to everyone\n\n*I gave up on things: I don't know where she got this from, i usually don't give up on things but it seems she made up for herself that i did.\n\n*future: she thought we wanted different things for the future, even though we had discussed it quite a lot and we seemed to want the same things. and still, she has 5 years of college ahead...way too early to start thinking about things like that, our view would prolly change anyway\n\nright now we still talk everyday...i really need it because i don't have anyone else to talk to. My best friend is busy and every time he has he spends with me, but still i can't stop thinking about her...the way she made me smile, her beautiful eyes...i just... :( i feel broken and alone...my plans thrown off the table...i'm so unsure about everything right now. Everything reminds me off her because she used to be here all the time. \n\nI got 5 exams this week, i'm going to fail most of them. I really don't want to but my mind keeps wandering off into the past and i cry for most of the days , i even cry myself to sleep each night. \n\nwe still text all day and thats the only thing keeping me from crying, i feel alone if we aren't.\n\nI really don't know what to do with my life right now, i don't have a lot of money to spend so can't do a lot :( i want to go to the gym and stuff but i simply don't have the funds to do so\n\nthanks for listening to my story!", "summary": "girl of my life broke up with me, i can't get over it and don't know what to do with my life"} {"id": "t3_36nq1c", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to prank my best friend", "post": "Hello everyone, this is my first TIFU, plus it happened today. Today I was meeting with my crush who's also a friend of my best friend and at some point we decided to prank him by telling him we kissed(She knows I have a crush on her and doesn't like me back) so we called him on Skype and told him we kissed, he didn't believe us and asked for pics so we decided to make a story to make it sound real, now my crush asked me to make the story because she doesn't have any ideas, so I started making some made up story about how I wanted to find out what it feels like to kiss and she eventually stopped me in the middle because I was apparently making her look \"bitchy\", at which point she got mad at me and we started fighting and then she went home.", "summary": "Tried to prank my best friend by telling him me and my crush kissed, had to make it convicing, crush got mad and went home."} {"id": "t3_3h36r3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [22/F] date!?", "post": "I went on a date with a someone I met on tinder [22/M] and we got on so incredibly well. \nMy experience with Tinder has been using it pretty much for a casual hookup and I've been single since I was 18 and now I'm not really too sure what the protocol is for 'dating'.\n\nI think due to my past experiences with tinder and hookups, I'm very much used to it being a one time thing so after texting the guy I had a date with, I basically gave him the oppurtunity to just sorta get out of it and just said I'd like to see him again but if he didn't feel the same way that's cool. (I was drunk and regretted sending those texts but cest la vie)\n\nHe replied saying he thought I was beautiful and that he had a really good time and would like to see me again so we've made plans for monday. He also said that he'd never had a date like that before and he was trying to process it.\n\nNow, I'm really excited because we just got on so well. but, I guess I don't know how to 'date'.\n\nWhat sort of things do you do? How long do you 'date' for? What are the rules with texting? We text a couple of times through the day with just generally chit chat etc. Ahhh I feel so confused!", "summary": "I don't know how to date. I don't know what sort of things to do on a date. I don't know if there are any kind of rules for texting?"} {"id": "t3_2t03z9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (16M) am sick of hearing my father watching porn downstairs.", "post": "Title says it all. I don't know how long he has been doing this but when i'm upstairs playing guitar or PC i sometimes hear something out of the corner of my ear and when i go to investigate i can hear that there is porn being played downstairs. I know it is my dad because he is the only other one home at the moment and he does this when my sister and my mother go away for something like a holiday. This is really starting to annoy me because i'll be upstairs and i might decide i want to grab something to eat or have lunch, use the phone and so on. And then half way down the stairs i hear it and instantly go back up. So, how do i deal with this situation? I guess it really isn't my business if my father watches porn but he puts it up so loud i can hear it from upstairs.", "summary": "My father watches porn downstairs and turns it up really loud and i hear it. Don't know what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_v7kk1", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I'm 19 she's 17, I'm not sure what to do!?!?!", "post": "Quick background on me I am 19 in college and I am single as of now few months back me and my ex broke up. When we did I had said I would date someone either two years younger or two years older then me. Not thinking that the two years younger would matter to me. I ended up meeting a girl who is just that two years younger then me. I now fin myself questioning whether or not it is a good idea. She has one more year of highschool to go through and my last relationship had to much highschool bs. I would really like to date her but I find myself stopping because: She is still a minor, she has that one more year of highschool. Stupid as that may be it bugs me i mean if I was 20 and she was 18 and out of highschool I would have no problem with it! I find myself questioning morals of if it is right or not or what would happen if something went wrong? What does reddit think?", "summary": "! I find myself questioning the morals of dating a 17 year old while I am 19 even though if I was 20 and she was 18 I would have no issue with it."} {"id": "t3_z79qu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "31(m) and 28(f) in a relationship that isn't really a relationship. Not sure what's going on here and looking for insight.", "post": "I don't know if this is the right place for this question.. but I'm finding myself in a very confusing situation with a girl that I've known for about 6 years. To provide some background information, when I first met this girl she had a boyfriend in a long distance relationship, we hung out regularly and became very good friends. After awhile though.. our friendship began to turn into something much more intimate. We settled on describing it as \"friends with benefits\".. but even then we weren't sure. Essentially, we were a couple without being a couple. Even a friends with benefits scenario wasn't quite accurate. We went on regular dates.. we went out to dinner, movies, went on trips .. spent every waking moment together practically.. all under the tacit understanding that we weren't a couple and that we weren't in a relationship together. This carried on for about 1 1/2 years .. and yes .. she maintained her long distance relationship while this went on.. I'm a horrible person, I know. Eventually, her boyfriend found out, they split. She moved across the country shortly after and we lost contact.\n\nFast forward to two years ago. She resurfaces and occasionally visits the state I live in.. whenever she does, we always fall back into our old ways. On some occasions we're just friends, on other occasions we're more than just friends... and on other occasions still, we're once again a couple without being a couple.\n\nFast forward to two weeks ago.. we hook up again.. we go out for a romantic dinner, caught a movie, stargazing etc. etc. the next day, she casually mentions that she has a boyfriend and that she feels bad .. not because she has a boyfriend, but because she doesn't feel bad about having a boyfriend. No matter what we do, we always find that we come back to each other without ever knowing what we're actually doing.\n\nI'm oblivious when it comes to normal relationships and even platonic friendships, and yet I continue to find myself in this twisted mess of nonsense... I don't really know what I'm asking here, but has anybody been in a similar situation that can offer insight?", "summary": "Me (31m) and her (28f) finding ourselves in a situation where we're in a relationship together that isn't really a relationship.. and I have no idea what's going on."} {"id": "t3_22ob37", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] 4 months, who is depressed due to unsure future.", "post": "We both are foreign students studying in a different country. I liked her from the moment I saw her and finally after 2 weeks I asked her out and she agreed.\n\nThe relationship is going well and we just click. We have fun together and even give space to each other. The physical aspect got a little faster and we even got intimate a few times.\n \nI'm her 1st boyfriend and she is my 2nd. We both love each other, which brings us to our problem.\n\nOur culture doesn't prefer Love marriages and inter religious are a big No. Though families need to be convinced and a lot more people after that, the chances are very slim that this will happen.\n\nRecently she has become gloomy and even cried that she will have to eventually leave me after our course is done after 5 years.\nShe will probably be married soon after the course and I have a few years more after that.\n\nMy stand is that we should live everyday with each other and let see how things develop, because 5 years is a long time. She doesn't seem to understand this.\n\nI cant break up because it will create years of awkward interaction and is a very stupid reason.\nWhat should I do?", "summary": "Great relation, different religion so future is unsure, she is worried that she will lose me after the course. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2wemqo", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/M] Just found out that my girlfriend has been flirting with another guy.", "post": "Hi r/relationship_advice... I don't typically ask for advice from anyone so this is quite a big step for me but here goes... I've been dating this girl for a few years now and everything seemed to have been going alright. We don't argue much, we get along, and we talk frequently. As of late however, sex hasn't been a big activity mainly due to my overall lack of an urge to engage in it (weird eh.. never thought I would be in this position... I should also note that this \"sex drought\" has been happening for about half a year). As a result of this, she hasn't exactly been happy with the relationship and we've \"argued\" about it once or twice but we always managed to talk it through. Cut to about a week ago when she told me that she's actually been talking to another guy sexually and she told me she felt really bad and what not for doing so and since then, I've just been trying to come to terms with it to try and salvage this relationship. I know that she means the world to me but this really fucked me up. Any tips/pointers as to what I should do?", "summary": "Haven't had sex with my girlfriend of a few years and found out that she's been talking to another guy. She apologized but I'm not sure what the best course of action is"} {"id": "t3_2azeaf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [24 M] told his crush [22 F] he no longer wants to hang out with her because she didn't feel the same way about him. Can they still stay friends?", "post": "Basically he liked her very much but she turned him down after he expressed his feelings towards her. She was just going through a breakup and said she wants them to be friends only. Initially, he was there to support her and calm her down during her breakup but he had a crush on her after a while. Despite turning him down, he kept hanging out with her for two months hoping that she changes her decision but it didn't work.\n\nToday he called her saying that they should not spend time with each other again and move on with their lives. She was understanding. However, he is confused whether they can still be friends or not or whether it is possible that they could get together again in the future. Would love to hear your opinions and experiences so that I calm him down. I am his friend [M 23] and want to help him get over his issue.", "summary": "Friend-zoned with his crush, stopped hanging out with her, doesn't know what the future is holding for them. Is there any hope?"} {"id": "t3_2ybcgq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm a [28 M] with my wife [28 F] of 6 months. She has become obsessed with her weight, and it's driving us apart.", "post": "We've been together 8 years and married nearly 6 months. Recently she's claimed that she's been gaining weight. Not much weight, maybe 10 lbs. She's very attractive, and I haven't really noticed, but it's driving her crazy. In turn, it's driving me crazy. \n\nWe fight weekly, over the same stuff. She gets upset about her weight and then takes it out on me. This morning, I called her beautiful and she called me a liar. I'm currently sleeping on the couch... again. I love her to death, but I don't know where this came from. I hate to sound cliche, but she was normal before we got married. \n\nAny help would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to throw in the towel so early, but it's really starting to wear on our relationship. We don't have sex, because she's always ripping herself apart, and it's not exactly attractive to hear that all the time. I find myself voluntarily spending more and more time away. I've tried talking with her about it, and it doesn't do any good. We will be good for a few days and then it's back to the same old argument.", "summary": "Wife is crazy over weight. Takes out anger on me. Have you had this experience before (M or F). How is best to handle it? Should I just run now because she's just nuts?"} {"id": "t3_19sf3i", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "I (18f) am having some jealousy issues as far as my boyfriend's (21m) daughter (3) goes.", "post": "So, I've been dating my boyfriend, Drew, for a while now. I recently met his 3-year-old daughter, Mia. While I thought I would be completely okay with him having a daughter, once I met her, it turned out to be harder to adjust to than I thought it would be. I'm 18-years-old, and am used to being my boyfriends' entire life.\n\nI love Mia so much, she is absolutely perfect, and I would never ever let my jealousy get between my relationship with her or her relationship with him. I'm not just like a selfish bitch who needs all kinds of attention. I lost my dad when I was 16, so I know the importance of Mia's relationship with her father, and I encourage it.\n\nI know that Mia HAS to come first, and I love that Drew is such a good father. I understand that when I became his girlfriend, I gave up ever having him 100% to myself. I am willing to sacrifice so that I can be with him, I just need help learning how to cope with this.", "summary": "Boyfriend has a 3yo daughter, I love them both dearly, but am having some issues with getting less attention from him when she's around. Need help coping with this, and finding my place."} {"id": "t3_24eqzi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] just made my girlfriend [20 F] cry. I'm not sorry and that's why I feel bad. Anyone else ever experienced this? Am I a bad bf for it?", "post": "Basically we had a fight earlier in the day, she didn't find it to be a big deal at all, I found it to be a huge deal. (It was about her single guy friend touching her inappropriately.) Then she just ended it because she thought nothing of it. Then later on the day (I'm still pissed at her at this point) she says her dog has an infected eye. (Our dogs fought pretty bad yesterday.) I just said, \"That sucks.\" and she started crying her eyes out. She says she doesn't like the fact that our 'minor' disagreement effected something so serious. I want to feel sorry, but I'm just not. It would be a fake apology. I hate that I made her cry, but I'm far from sorry. Am I a bad person?", "summary": "We had a fight. She told me dogs eye might be infected. Didn't care she cried for my lack of empathy. Am I a bad bf?"} {"id": "t3_49br6r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23M] fell for a girl [21F] who moved back overseas. I am moving to same country later this year coincidentally. Should I propose LDR?", "post": "Hey guys,\n\nSo a few months back I met this incredible woman from the U.K who was staying with her family in my city for a few months. To cut a long story short, we got along like a house on fire. She is everything that i would look for in a woman. Creative, funny, loving, the whole shabang. We spent a lot of time together over the past few months. Then the unfortunate/ inevitable happened and she left about a month ago back to the UK. It wasn't a sad goodbye as i knew i would see her again. At this point i should mention i have been planning on moving to the UK this year due to upcoming redundancy, time to see some of the world. But i didn't tell her this until the end of our time together. \n\nSince she left we keep in contact daily although conversation is disjointed due to timezones, and we manage to Skype once a week. I can't help but start to feel a little empty inside, as it's obviously just not the same seeing her through a screen. I'm not sure where i stand in this situation, she is back with her friends etc probably living it up and good on her. But does she miss me? Does she still think the same way about me? I know the answer is to talk to her about this but i have no idea how to approach the situation. I don't want to come across as thirsty, i mean i am moving to the same country as her later this year. Maybe this would be misconstrued as some insane act of love? Which it isnt. But i am curious as to how she would feel about trying for something relationship wise, seen as i will be in the same country. And from this question whether to start an LDR until i get to the UK? Or should i just keep on keeping on until i get to the UK and if she is available then great and if not ... such is life.", "summary": "fell for a girl who moved back overseas, coincidentally i am moving there later this year. Should i ask her to step into an LDR."} {"id": "t3_37fovq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (20f) with bf (20m) texting a mutual friend's wife early in the morning?", "post": "I woke up at 4am this morning to my boyfriends phone going off. He read it, and said he didn't know who the message was from. So I pushed for him to ask the person - he really seemed like he didn't want to ask, and kept saying he doesn't care. \n\nEventually he messaged them back, and we found out it was a mutual coworkers wife.. saying she saw him online and thought she'd message him. He completely got super defensive, said he didn't have a clue why she was messaging him, and that she probably only had his number because our mutual friend never had credit on his phone, so he would call or text off his missus' phone. \n\nThey have 4 kids together, and my boyfriend is a lot younger than her, but something just doesn't feel right about the situation. He also mentioned yesterday he'd nip and say hi to her and the kids when he was working in the shop near their house.\nAny advice? Am i looking into this too much?", "summary": "boyfriend had text off mutual friend's wife at 4am this morning, out the blue? Advice on whether I need to look into it more, or leave it."} {"id": "t3_2t0zkv", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Potentially Schizophrenic Parent attacked by \"Bugs\" need help...", "post": "To begin, I'm here because I'm at a complete loss of options.\n\nI live in a single parent house hold, the parent is now around 62 years old. In the last 2 years she had begun seeing \"insects.\" she described them as small, black, sometimes white, and vicious. She describes them as always attacking her, leaving her with wounds all over her body and causing her a lot of pain.\n\nI came home today to find her with her neck bleeding a lot. She was covered in a white powder, I believe, diatomaceous earth, which she believes helps repel the insects. The surrounding of her eyes are yellowed ans she looks in very obvious pain.\n\nThe problem becomes, that no one else in our family is affected by any \"small black insects\" at all. She believes them to be microscopic or as big as termites. At her age, she is unable to small print at all, so how she is able to see \"microscopic\" insects is incredibly unbelievable. The fact that no one else in the family has been attacked by any \"insects\" is troubling.\n\nEverything that has happened has lead me to believe that my parent may have schizophrenia and I was looking for second opinions on the topic or if anyone else has had a parent or knows of someone who was in a similar situation.\n\nMy parent however, refuses to believe she has schizophrenia. She feels in pain over the fact that no one else feels her suffering is is agonized over the fact that she's the only one being attacked by these \"insects\".\n\nThe wounds that she ends up with I believe are self-inflicted. I had heard that schizophrenics will occasionally injure or tickle themselves and be completely unaware that it was themselves. I believe that this might be the case with my mother, however, not having her under a 24 hour supervision, I'm unable to prove that.\n\nI digress though... Has anyone here on reddit had a family member with schizophrenia or like symptoms and what did they do to resolve it?", "summary": "Mother has been attacked by \"insects\" that no one else in the same household has been attacked by. Leads to believe she may have schizophrenia in her later years. Looking for help."} {"id": "t3_xw0dr", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I have lost the will to go on...", "post": "Hi guys, it's been about 2 months since the girl(20) I love walked out of my life and I(m19) have lost the any motivation to do anything whatsoever. I know most of you guys are going tell me to move on and forget about her. I've been told this many times... I just can't do it...\n\nI go to university and work part time, surely I thought that these things would get my mind off her but it hasn't. Everywhere I go and everything I do reminds me of her. I started my uni life with her and spent nearly 2 years with her, seeing her everyday for lunch and going home together. She would leave me messages when I worked and she would wait for me to have dinner with her after work. My life revolved around her and now that she's not apart of it anymore... I'm just lost.\n\nI broke no contact the other night by sending her a email about how I was sorry and was asking her for another chance. She bluntly replied that it would never work out and she doesn't want me in her life anymore...\n\nI don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. These days I just sit at home playing computer games, skipping my lectures and classes... I'm scared of going to university because I might run into her and I don't know how I would react if I did... It's a big place with thousands students... The probability of me running into a law major on my side of campus is quite low... Despite that I don't want to do anything. The semester has just started and I know I'm not going to do too well at this rate.\n\nI know that she's off having fun everyday, smiling and making new friends... and I'm here, alone in my room, crying myself to sleep every night. I don't want to go on... I'm losing my mind.", "summary": "girlfriend dumped me 2 months ago. I'm still sad. I have absolutely zero motivation to move on with my life."} {"id": "t3_450ldb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [19 M] break up with my overly-attached girlfriend [19 F]?", "post": "I'll try and keep this brief.\n\nMy girlfriend and I have been dating for about 15 months now. We're currently freshmen at the same college (only twenty minutes from our houses). We met in high school and began dating our senior year.\n\nI told her that I love her just two months into the relationship, and she reciprocated. After that, she started talking a ton about our future. She constantly talks about our future career and lives (50+ years) together, always brings up is having a family, and she gets upset whenever I don't show as much enthusiasm as her on the subject.\n\nToday, she found out that I've been smoking weed and drinking with my roommate (she knows that I've done that in the past). I fucked up by not telling her sooner, as she found out about it from a mutual friend. Long story short, we had a huge fight. She told me that she hated me, took back her gifts to me from my room, returned an expensive necklace I bought her, and then told me that we're done.\nBut, when I began to break up with her (after she yelled at me to break up with her) she immediately started crying and begging me to work it out with her. When I continued the breakup (since I actually do want to break up with her), she went ballistic and told me that she could never go on without me and that, if I broke up with her, she would go back to her dork and kill herself with painkillers. I freaked out and told her we could stay together. She had to go, so I walked her out and on the way she said that she's willing to compromise on the situation.\n\nI feel trapped in the relationship now. I know that I haven't handled things well, but I really could use some help Reddit.", "summary": "Girlfriend found out I lied to her about smoking, we tried ending the relationship, but when I started the actual breakup she threatened to kill herself. How do I get out?"} {"id": "t3_3i42jz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] am frustrated and hurt by my [23M] BF and feel like he isn't listening to me.", "post": "Background first since I think it may help: We had had a major falling out that was mostly on my part. I was being a huge bitch and even tried dating someone else for a short while and said some mean things.\n\n He and I broke p and I got back together with my boyfriend, but because of that I wasn't ready to be sexual or say I love you for a while. We're long distance as well.\n\nNow currently, we were watching something together last night and doing that joking \"I love you, no I love you more\" thing. I ended up saying I love you most and he said liar, meaning it as a joke. We've done this before, but he's never said liar. It was always \"Nuh uh/No way\" and I could tell. But using that word took me back because of our past.\n\nI tried talking to him about it, but it ended with both of us getting more frustrated and I realized it was silly to get upset about and I wasn't going to hold it against him, but at the same time he couldn't seem to understand that it hurt me and I just wanted him to acknowledge that instead of belittling my feelings in the situation ( almost exactly what I told him).\n\nNow he's mad at me for getting upset, and said he doesn't want to entertain me at all. He asked I not talk to him today, so I'll try to respect those wishes. But I'm over here really hurt by how this has all gone down.", "summary": "My BF jokingly called me a liar and I was hurt, but now he doesn't understand why it matters at all."} {"id": "t3_1p03sq", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Vent on me after a shitty day? I'll leave the plugs, sponges AND scourer in the sink, AND not wipe the sink down", "post": "So my dad came home yesterday, and he had had a shitty day. No problem, I can deal with that. I ask him how his day was, trying to be nice, and he just goes, \"Same as every other one, working to keep you fed.\" Now, I don't like it when he gets this \"Oh god, I hate you, I hate you so much,\" attitude that he has. So I decide I can't really deal with him, and then just go back to my room. Later on that night, my mum calls me out for dinner. We eat dinner, and as usual, I get up, clear the table and begin cleaning up the kitchen. He typically leaves a few beer bottles lying around in the kitchen, and this night he had also left the carton of beer which he had purchased earlier. I ask him to move them out of the kitchen, and do something with them, and he says \"What are you asking what I'm gonna do with them? I'm gonna put them away! It's not like you ever do anything around here anyway.... yadda yadda yadda yadda for like five minutes, all while I'm cleaning up this kitchen which had been left in a somewhat terrible state. I successfully \"uh-huh\" my way through his lecture, and he goes off and sits down to watch television and fall asleep. I had nearly finished the kitchen at this point, and my usual routine is to finally wipe down the sink, wring out the sponge, and place both plugs in their respective places **outside** the sink. I actually did put them back at first. But then, an evil plan came across my mind. I decided that it would be best if the plugs, sponge and scourer were all just left in the sink. Enjoy your shitty stale smelling sponges, dad.", "summary": "Dad vents at me after shitty day, says I do nothing around the house while I'm cleaning kitchen, leave sponge, plugs and scourer all in sink to annoy the SHIT out of him"} {"id": "t3_4vugp6", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "[Help] Older dog has peripheral vestibular disease.", "post": "In October of last year my older dog, about age 15, had an episode where he lost most of his balance control. He kept falling over and couldn't keep food or water down. We took him into the vet and they diagnosed him with peripheral vestibular disease, also called old dog syndrome. They gave him some some meds for nausea, basically Dramamine, and told us that he most likely would never bounce back to his old self.\n\nI have continued giving him Dramamine since then to help with his balance and coordination. He has lost 10 pounds since October due to him not wanting to eat as much. Some days he tries to play but usually ends up falling over some due to his coordination issues. He also has went deaf and has trouble seeing. I've felt up until recently that he has mostly good days, and some bad days.\n\nA couple weeks ago, I took him back to the vet for a checkup and the vet did some blood work. He is pretty healthy as far as blood work is concerned and no spots on his x-rays. The vet prescribed him steroids, which I don't think have helped at all. At this point I'm just starting to feel like he isn't happy. He sleeps most of the time and barely eats, except for his treats.\n\nWith all this, I just keep wondering if I'm doing the right thing keeping him around not knowing if he is in pain. I know he isn't going to get better and it's just down hill from here. I also feel like I'm giving up on him if I put him to sleep at this stage. I know if he gets to the point that he can't get up, stops eating completely, or worse, that it's time. This gray area that he is in now is so frustrating and stressful. Any advice? Thanks.", "summary": "Old dog has peripheral vestibular disease. Bad balance and coordination, deaf, almost blind, losing weight, seems mostly happy, but not himself anymore. When is the right time to put him to sleep?"} {"id": "t3_2bj18q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (18/f) girlfriend of 5 months told me (18/m) we kiss too much", "post": "A little background: at first I took it really slow with this girl because it was my first real relationship in a while and I wanted to do it right. I didn't kiss her for the first month or so while we were just going on dates, but then I started to (slowly) when she became my girlfriend. \n\nIt escalated fairly quickly, and fast forward to now I can't keep my hands off of her (holding her hand, scratching her back/arms/legs, etc.) she enjoys this though and I thought all was well until she told me yesterday that she misses before when we wouldn't kiss as much and used to just talk in my car after work (where we met) for hours at a time instead of making out in between conversation. We would talk in my car almost every day for at least 2 hours at a time, and now I feel like I ran out of things to say, but I still want to be with her and I love kissing her. Should I take a step back from where we are and try to just talk instead of being so physical? Is it wrong of her to tell me how often I should kiss her? Any help is appreciated!", "summary": "started out slow and focused on conversation in our relationship, now I'm too physical (kiss too much) and she misses just talking for hours."} {"id": "t3_nl596", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Please help me understand the male mind. I will be forever grateful.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for two or so years. We are both 22. Everything in the relationship's great, except his avoidance of the ex-girlfriend topic. Now don't get me wrong, I feel as though most people are that way about their exes, which is fine. The problem here is he never told me about his long-term girlfriend (whom he lost his virginity to, said \"I love you to\" first, etc.) before me, until pretty far into our relationship. I was upset about this because of the fact that we had had tons of unprotected sex before he told me. In fact, whenever the topic of his ex-girlfriend comes up, he is very evasive about it. He told me specifically that he never was actually in love with her and that I was his first love. From what I've heard, their relationship did not end well. It sounds like he kind of feels a bit bad about it in a way; like he feels sorry for her. \n\nI think every time he's talked about their relationship it's about how badly he still feels about it. I recently \"stumbled\" across some of his facebook messages (I know, I know. It's bad) which included a conversation with her; nothing major, just them planning to meet up. He has never mentioned them meeting up before, when he told me that he would just briefly let me know if he was going to hang out with another girl (not by my request, but his own). Also, not sure if this is important or not, but from what it sounds like (mostly me inferring, as he is very evasive about it) they had a fantastic sex life that we just don't have together and he feels badly about that as well. This issue has started to make me somewhat insecure about things. Not sure if it's a legit concern or if I'm just being silly.\n\nSo the question here is, guys, what is he thinking here and why the avoidance? Is this just normal guy behavior that I shouldn't be concerned about? Or should I actually confront him about it? Any advice would be much appreciated.", "summary": "boyfriend avoids talking about seemingly-important info about his ex-girlfriend. Dunno if I'm being paranoid or if I'm justified in feeling this insecure."} {"id": "t3_4cx5lf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] asked a girl [25 F] out for dinner, the date is in a week from now; what to do in the interim period?", "post": "So I asked out this girl and she said yes. We get to see each other every day and I'm not sure how to treat the period between today and the day of the date. We get to talk a lot and even occasionally get some private time. \n\nWe both have made it pretty evident that we fancy each other and our conversations reflect that. \n\nMy question is that whether should I make any possible move to take it to the next level right now or wait till the date night. And if not, how exactly should I behave in the mean time? How do I keep this interim time period before the date...umm..\"hot\"?!", "summary": "Have a date coming up, with a girl I meet every day, in a week. How do I handle the time period in between and keep things interesting?"} {"id": "t3_n6nml", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What if Justin Beiber is the next Michael Jackson?", "post": "I know a lot of folks hate the little guy, but the other day I was listening to a song he did with Kany West, a remix to Runaway Love. It was pretty interesting, and it got me thinking, what if this kids the next MJ? \n\nIn all do honesty, his current music isn't what we're all fans of, but keep in mind, he's young. He can't sing about dramatic life experiences, breakups, or heart ache, because he hasn't experienced that yet. As he matures, so will his music, and once that's combined with his talents he has the potential to be outstanding. \n\nSo what does Reddit think, could Justin Beiber, potentially be the next Michael Jackson?", "summary": "Heard a song with Justin Beiber and Kanye West, thought maybe this kid could be the next MJ. What do you guys think?"} {"id": "t3_tcwsz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Double Major Advice", "post": "Hey, I'm currently finishing up my freshman year as a Photography and Digital Arts student at a University Minnesota. I'm starting to find that this major isn't satisfying my recent craving for knowledge or creativity. One of the Lib-Eds I chose this semester was Philosophy, which I did surprisingly well in, and really enjoyed. It was a lot of work, of course, but it was work I really genuinely loved doing. I could really feel myself getting into flow while studying for that class.\n\nWhich made me wonder, should I double major in Philo? The question of course, spiraled me into seemingly never ending self doubt on what I've been doing these past few years pursuing my art interests. Sure, I'm plenty good at art, but I'm so scared it won't be a financially fruitful profession. \n\nMy current plan is to finish my digital art degree, then go to some kind of animation or computer animation school so I can become an animator, a story board writer, a character designer, or maybe even a video game designer... something with story telling, drawing, and hopefully animation.\n\nSo what's your two cents reddit? Is an art major worth pursuing? What could come out if I did double major in Philo? What would be a more fruitful combination of a double major?\n\nThanks for the responses, if they come c:", "summary": "Confused as fuck about my art major. Don't wanna grow up to be a homeless bum. Just realized I love Philo. Need advice for a double major."} {"id": "t3_p2nys", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need legal advice... I jumped out of a vehicle into traffic.", "post": "Ok, basically what happened is this: Two of my friends and I were in my car driving around town. My ex works at the local Sonic and they wanted me to go talk to her. I didn't. We went anyways because we were hungry. A different carhop came out and gave us our food. My friends requested my ex and the carhop told us she would go get her. Being the SAP that I am I pulled out and drove off. They were giving me shit about it and calling me a pussy, whatever. I didn't really care. Later that night we were out in the boonies and my friends wrestled me to the ground and took my keys. They started to drive me back to Sonic telling me I was going to talk to her. I am an extremely stubborn person and if I don't want to do something I won't do it. I asked them multiple times to pull over and let me drive but they ignored me. When we were in town getting near Sonic, I reached over and shut off the ignition and when the car slowed down I jumped out and ran off. There was a cop driving by at the time that I did this. I guess he had another call to make because he didn't get me right there. I hid behind a restaurant and called my roommate to come pick me up. Meanwhile, my scumbag steve friends are getting pulled over by the cops. It's my car and they give the cops my insurance information and tell them that it was me that jumped out of the car. The cop told them that I would have to go to court after they mailed me a subpoena. My question is this: How much trouble am I potentially looking at here? Is this a felony? Misdemeanor? I have no priors on my record and have generally kept my nose clean. Can I have this expunged from my record and should I get a lawyer? I have a full ride scholarship and one of the stipulations of it is if I get arrested, I lose it. I'm really freaking out right now and don't know who to talk to about this. If I lose my scholarship, I'm boned.", "summary": "I jumped out of a stopped vehicle in the middle of traffic and the cops didn't find me, but they have my info and are going to subpoena me. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_ikwsh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I received a call from Mcdonalds about a job opening, but it went to voice mail and now the person won't answer their phone.", "post": "Thursday afternoon, around 5 PM, I received a call from a lady that works at Mcdonalds. I had applied there two weeks ago and she was calling to set up an interview. However, I was away from the phone at the time and it was on vibrate, so the call went to voice mail. It was 11 PM when I noticed the call and I decided to call her first thing in the morning about the job (she specifically said to call her back, in her message). So I woke up the next morning (Friday) around 8:30 and gave my body some time to wake the fuck up. I ended up returning her call at 9:30, but she didn't answer and I left a message. So I waited a little and called her again at 12, but still no answer. I waited for her call the whole day and she didn't call back. Now it's Saturday morning and I'm going to try calling one last time.", "summary": "A call about a potential job opening went to voice mail and I called back in the morning, but I received no answer."} {"id": "t3_1zv5fb", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I helped my best friend through a full year of terrible depression. I hate that I feel entitled to something.", "post": "I met this sweet little girl late in my senior year of high school. She was a freshman, and she would always look at me in the halls as I passed her. She was always very skinny and, even on the hottest days, wore long sleeves. Being a former victim of self harm, I knew what this meant.\n\nWhen I asked her to talk for a while, she was very hesitant, which I had expected. I told her what had happened to me as a kid, and that I knew the pain she was going through. She eventually let me listen to her story, and since that day, we've been inseparable. I would make her dinner, pick her up from school, see all of the new movies she wanted to see, and pretty much devoted my life to helping her get better. To this day, she's like my little sister, and I love her very much.\n\nNow, about a year later, she's doing much better. She's doing better in school, and is visiting therapy twice a week. It's the greatest feeling in the world to see her happy again, but I still feel like it's not enough. I had never asked anything from her, nor will I, but I can't help but feel like I want something more.\n\nI hate the way I'm feeling, but I just wanted to know what you guys think of this. Am I being selfish? Am I a bad person? Please let me know what Reddit thinks. Thanks a bunch.", "summary": "I helped my good friend through her depression, and she's like my little sister now, but I hate that I feel entitled to something."} {"id": "t3_3h5zg8", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not paying attention to the microwave readout...", "post": "In the scheme of fuck ups, not major, but I'm still pissed.\n\nSo, I wander into my kitchen looking for a bite to eat. I haven't been shopping for a while, so I really only have cereal, oatmeal and some grapes. After some digging in my cabinet, I find the holy grail, a little personal mac and cheese cup. I'm like, \"fuck yeah!\" Looking at the directions, it says to add water. Now, the fuck up. I think to myself, \"I enjoy my mac and cheese sweet, so instead of water, I'll add some milk.\" So I dump some milk in, hit *what I think is 3 minutes* and wander back to my room to browse reddit. Completely not keeping track of time, I figured I would just listen for the loud ass beeps of the microwave to alert me to when my food was completed. Lo and behold after waiting for what felt like way more than 3 minutes, I go to see the time remaining on my meal. Unfortunately, I put the cup in for **30** (not 3) minutes - the milk basically hardened and the mac and cheese was split and burnt. The milk also bubbled all over the inside of the microwave which I have to clean too. Also it was in for like 15 minutes, not the full 30. \n\nSo now, here I am, hungry as fuck, out of mac and cheese, and the nearest store to me that carries it is about 12 miles from my house and it's 11:30 PM. I am just heartbroken.", "summary": "went to make mac and cheese, put it in the microwave for 30 minutes instead of 3, it is ruined and I have no food in my house or anywhere close to me..."} {"id": "t3_v187f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I need advice on feeling under appreciated by my SO.", "post": "So my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, friends for about 2 and have what I'd call a 'happy relationship'. We have little fights which are resolved almost instantly, and we've never been engaged in any sort of screaming match or break. \n\nThe problem is, sometimes I feel like he doesn't appreciate me. Heres the story. I'd call myself relatively romantic, like I always get him gifts or bake stuff for him. I joined also minecraft and started playing stuff like LA Noire so I could have more to talk about with his brothers and such. However, when we're not together, I feel like he doesn't appreciate me. He rarely texts me, and struggles to make plans with me, like he doesn't really care. It makes me feel rejected and like he losing interest\n\n And I feel terrible when I text him more than once because I don't want to be regulation overly attached girlfriend, but sometimes I worry, because he's cheated in past relationships.\n\nBASICALLY, I love my boyfriend and he loves me, but I'm just wondering, is this normal behaviour for a boy, or is it something to be concerned about?", "summary": "we have a great relationship, but sometimes I feel underappreciated. I don't know if this is something I should just see as normal?"} {"id": "t3_15l0i7", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "IT GETS BETTER, just maintain NC!", "post": "I'm (24m) 3 weeks of NC and I am feeling a lot better than I thought I would. I've made it a priority to hang out with friends and do stuff that I know I wasn't \"allowed\" to do while in a relationship.\n\nFor everyone in the position as me, KEEP NC. There are some days that you want to talk so bad, but don't. Put your phone away, tell your bud to put a passlock on your phone. Do anything it takes.\n\nIf they contact you to see how you are, don't answer. This will be hard, but like other people here have said, until you can picture her sucking some guy's dick (or if you are a girl, ramming some chick from behind) and not feel anything, you aren't ready for friendly contact. My ex likes to make it subtle, whether it be to favorite a tweet or like an instagram picture, but fuck that. She doesn't deserve someone like me in her life right now.\n\nIt's almost new years! Go out, have fun with friends, forget everything bad about your life. It's a New Year! Make the most of it bitches!", "summary": "ITS THE NEW YEAR, DRINK UP, HAVE FUN, 2012 is behind you, maintain NC and you ***will*** be happier!"} {"id": "t3_4ngdvv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ended my relationship with (M27). It had to happen, but I (F26) feel worse then ever.", "post": "I ended my friendship/relationship with T today. We've known each other for 2 years, kept bouncing between seeing each other and just friends. There are reasons why we never became official, but the main one to me is that I felt like I couldn't rely on him. We would make plans, and 60% of the time he would cancel. The reasons were always genuine and sound, but there's only so much I can take. Every time felt like a rejection.\n\nThat's what happened today. Supposed to meet up, all fine and dandy last night, then this morning he doesn't think it's a good idea. And I've finally lost my patience with this, have said we need to have some space from each other, that it's clear he doesn't feel the same way about me, and I feel shit and rejected everytime.\n\nI know this is the right thing to do. I know I shouldn't be hung up on someone who makes me feel like that. But he is my friend too, I hate not talking to him every day. He's not using me, or seeing anyone else. He has his own issues that I know about, and there's not a huge amount that can be done about it.\n\nI don't want to lose him as a friend, but i don't I can keep things going this way.", "summary": "Cut back friendship/ relationship, had to be done, but don't feel great about it. Dunno what advice I'm actually asking for, more venting"} {"id": "t3_2f9sj8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] with my boyfriend [28M] Keep bringing my issues at home into our relationship and i want to stop but don't know how?", "post": "I have been in a relationship for a little over 2 years. I have always had some issues with my parents. I love my family but they aren't responsible when it comes to money or trying to get out of this hole of issues. I have been feeling more like a parent then a daughter. I can't afford to move out, but we always have money issues and I am trying to focus on college and looking for work and they make it hard to concentrate. I don't have people in my life to talk to about something so personal and the only person I feel comfortable telling these things to is my boyfriend otherwise I hold it in and I snap later. I haven't been so present on our little date nights and he is so fed up with it. I understand and see his point but how do I stop it? What ways can I prevent this from happening because I am over stressed and just tired and I don't want to lose my relationship because I let my family life get in the way. Help Reddit!", "summary": "We love each other but I know he is fed up with my family drama and doesn't want that to affect our future, how can I just focus on us and stop talking about my troubles at home/"} {"id": "t3_150q3d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24M] had a drunken semi-hookup with a friend [22F] that I really like, but the catch is she has a bf[19M].", "post": "Am I wrong for thinking that there is something between us? I am calling this a semi-hookup because it only went to 3rd base. We have been friends for a couple months. We have been hanging out for a while and Saturday night we got rather drunk at a friend's house. Neither of us could drive so we slept on an air mattress. Shortly after laying down the fooling around commenced. It went on for about half an hour then we both kind of had an \"oh shit\" moment when we realized what we were doing. We sat down outside to sober up and had one of the most personal and meaningful conversations I have had with another person in years.(She also expressed her enjoyment with the conversation) We go back inside and I lay back down on the air mattress and she got back into bed with me. Nothing else happened but we cuddled up and talked for another couple hours. Next day, she says that we are equally at fault for the incident but she doesn't want to tell her bf because she is afraid to hurt his feelings. I am beyond confused with the entire situation.", "summary": "Got to third base with a girl I like then proceeded to have an intimate after time. She has a bf and doesn't want to tell him."} {"id": "t3_2j6mc5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] of 6 months, struggle with spending time together", "post": "My girlfriend and I are struggling with spending time together. I work a demanding job, with hours that are typically from 8-5:30, sometimes I work more 8-6 or 9-6. I also occasionally have to work weekends. I wish I had more time to spend with my girlfriend, but sometimes work gets in the way.\n\nMy girlfriend also feels we don't get to spend much time together. When I do get home from work, the conversations always go to how much I've been working. I feel like she focuses on me having to go to work the next day instead of getting to spend the time we are actually together enjoying ourselves.\n\nHow can we focus on enjoying the time we do have together instead of worrying about not being able to spend much time together the next day?", "summary": "How can me and my girlfriend stop working about how much time we get to have together and just enjoy our time with each other?"} {"id": "t3_pw8eo", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can Reddit help me find a laser?", "post": "There exists a nonprofit tattoo removal clinic called Central Texas Tattoo Removal Project ([CTTRP] This is a team of volunteers who, every month for 12 years now, have given up a Saturday morning in order to help people access free (18 and under) or low-cost ($60/treatment; for 19 and up) tattoo removal. \n\nRight now they use an infra-red device, which gives a 2nd degree burn. The laser method is much faster, less painful, and doesn't require nearly as much care to heal well. It also heals much faster. A laser for this process is about $12,000, used, as I understand it. I was hoping maybe, since the organization has been there for so long and has helped so many people with such a degree of consistency, maybe a manufacturer could be persuaded to donate a refurbished model? Or perhaps some Redditor knows of a foundation that makes grants to worth non-profit organizations with no board salaries or wasteful spending? (The building we use is a donation of space, and the board members, doctors, nurses and front desk people are all volunteers. But they never hired a consultant to get 501c3 status, and none of the volunteers ever took the time to get the designation. So the organization is not eligible for a lot of the grant money out there, despite the incredible work they do every month, actually helping people.)", "summary": "If you happen to have a spare, working medical grade laser for tattoo removal laying around, please PM me. (And I promise not to tell anyone your true Reddit identity, Batman.)"} {"id": "t3_1oopuc", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "21M, wondering when is too long to wait to date after a series of bad relationships?", "post": "So I've been through a series of bad relationships in the past few years, including getting engaged to my gf of four years before she cheated on me and dumped me. After that, I dated a girl that really cared about me, but I didn't feel the same way, and ended up hurting her by breaking up with her. (I can share more if anyone wants, or finds it relevant)\n\nBasically, I have a girl that I'm interested in, and I'm afraid to ask her out, knowing all the baggage I have. I'm a caring person, I guess, and I want to ask her out, but I don't want to hurt her with all my baggage and hangups.\n\nI know the obvious answer is \"go for it,\" but I guess I care a lot and just don't want to hurt her.", "summary": "Is there any way to know when it is time to move on after bad relationships, or any signs that I'm ready/not ready?"} {"id": "t3_1owt5j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 M] met with a lady [23 F] on Ok Cupid for the first time this week, but I think I might have sent the wrong signals.", "post": "So, I have been using OK cupid recently and met a lady for the first time just a couple days ago. The evening went well and we hit it off, chatted for close to 10 hours while cuddling in her bed. We have been texting for the last few days, and I am pretty sure she is interested in me. Here's the thing though, I am not really attracted to her. I would love to just be friends with her, but I think I might have already started on the wrong leg. The best part? I will be working in the same office with her every day for the next 4 years. \n\nAny tips?", "summary": "I gave the impression that I am interested in a lady, although I am not. Now I have to go about this without pissing anybody off because I work with her."} {"id": "t3_1s675z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is this a good way to talk with a girl for the first time? [M19] [G?] *UPDATES*", "post": "Original Post: \n\nSo, I took the comments into consideration. I decided that I would follow what they said, and try small talking with the girl I like instead of formally approaching her.\n\nSo, I missed school yesterday and missed some work. I decided that I might as well use this. So today, I went up to her during some down time and said, \"Hey ___. I was wondering if I could take a look at your notes?\" Something standard along those lines.\n\nShe said yes, as I sat next to her. I copied the notes and in my stupidity I didn't say anything. I rushed to copy them, and it took about 2 minutes. I hand that papers back and say, \"Thank you ___. I'll see you around.\"\n\nI know I should have said something more. Now that I have atleast spoken to her, what should I have done so I know for next time?", "summary": "I talked to the girl that I liked and started some small talk. I don't know if I made that good of an impression."} {"id": "t3_1o666o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22 M] girlfriend [21 F] of nearly 5 years is abroad and I feel uncomfortable", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly five years. We have been mostly happy with ups and downs. For the last few weeks now, she has been interning abroad and complaining about it being unhelpful to her, that she would rather be home, that she misses me, etc.\n\nAnd yet, she doesn't come home. She wants to put this on her resume and party. I'm assuming she is enjoying her freedom and I want her to have fun and be happy but lately I am having a lot of trouble dealing with it.\n\nShe'll Skype with me and message me, saying the crazy things they are doing at parties and how many she is going to. She is telling me that she is incredibly horny because I am not there to have sex with her and that she is drinking and getting drunk. And then at times I won't hear from her for 15-20 hours. \n\nI know a lot of this has to do with my own insecurities, I guess I'm just looking for advice or an outside opinion. What should I do? She isn't really the type to cheat, at least while sober, but at the same time she has broken my trust before in our relationship with flirting with other guys severely, trying to break it off with me in the past, etc.\n\nI'm not sure how to do this? Or if I should be worrying. Guys and girls, tell me what is your experience with abroad relationships? She only has 4 weeks to go and I would love to be with her when she gets back but this is driving me insane. I've talked to her as well and she is still very set on not coming home, despite supposedly \"hating it\" there.", "summary": "Girlfriend is abroad, going to a lot of parties and says she's horny, I'm very confused and worried. Help."} {"id": "t3_him7p", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So Reddit, I just got out of a one and a half + year(s) relationship. WTF happens now?", "post": "Context: I turned 21 in February of this year, she will be turning 20 in August. I started dating this girl in September of 2009. Things went great at first, our puppy-love phase didn't end until April of 2010. Things eventually turned more 'serious' and less lovey-dovey; we even took a trip to Europe together which was a first for both of us, neither of us had taken a trip with an SO before. \n\nLike any couple we had ups and downs but I was noticing that most of the downs happened because of her jealous and possessive attitude, but I decided to roll with it because I still liked her, a lot. Over the course of this winter things carried along rather nicely, a few bumps here and there, again mostly caused by her attitude.\n\nWithin the last month I realized I wasn't happy in the relationship and broke up with her this evening. I don't really know what I should be feeling, but I certainly don't feel relief or anything positive. I just feel like I lost someone who I once loved but who was weighing me down emotionally, which I consider to be unhealthy and unnecessary for me at this point in my life.", "summary": "I broke up with my girlfriend of 1 year and 8 months, the longest time I was ever in a relationship. WTF happens now?"} {"id": "t3_3q2w80", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by letting a buddy smoke pot from an apple", "post": "Me and a long time buddy were in the parking lot of a movie theater and he wanted to toke up before we went inside.\n\nI had an apple in my car from my ride to work in the morning which I hadn't eaten, and he said it'd make a fantastic pipe.\n\nSo, with a couple minutes of whittling, he cored the apple, made a dish, poked some holes, and had a functional pipe.\n\nHe loaded up a bowl, took a long draw from it (I don't smoke, nothing against it, personal choice), said it was amazing, but then we had to get going to movie. So, he put it down behind my car tire \"so it'd be safe\" and we went inside.\n\nAfter the movie, he comes back outside and wants to finish off the bowl so he picks up the apple, puts it to his mouth and lights it up, inhales deeply, and then throws the apple against my car, and starts coughing in fits and screaming like a little girl while flailing his arms around and trying desperately to spit and grabbing at his tongue and ends up throwing up all over my car fender and tire.\n\nI couldn't figure out wtf was going on and was kinda pissed that the dude was destroying my car vis a vis $10 worth of popcorn and slushie vomit.\n\nIt was then that I looked at the apple pieces and realized they were COVERED IN ANTS. I mean, a lot of them.\nI guess they had taken up residence in the time we were in the movie, and were now traversing various parts of his stomach/throat/lungs/mouth.\n\nIt was then that I started laughing a laugh with such volume and intensity that I previously did not know I possessed.\n\nI think my laughter drew more attention than his screaming and ant-filled projectile vomiting onto my car did.\n\nNeedless to say, after throwing up a bit more and calming down, he was fine.\n\nHe thanked me for my laughter and being so helpful \"while he was dying\".\n\nHey, I was just trying to be useful. I know my limits in a panic situation.", "summary": "friend left pipe he made out of an apple outside for 2 hours, smoked it without looking at it and inhaled a ton of ants. He then vomited all over my car while I nearly passed out from laughing at his misfortune."} {"id": "t3_1vf3vo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "MY girlfriend [24 F] broke up with me [25 M] today, after we had been together for 7 years. This was my first serious relationship.", "post": "We had been best friends for about 10 years, being together for 7 of them. I had always told her I wanted to eventually marry her, and really did believe I would. We had a few bumps along the way, and there were a couple of times when she said she was ready for an engagement, but I told her I wasn't settled. That really was how I felt. This was pretty much the only issue we had ever had disagreements over. Issues connected to this had gotten a little more frequent over the last year since we had been living apart because of me going to college here in the US. \n\nBut about 2 weeks ago we had a discussion about our future, and she said that she could see that marriage may not work out because of my family (in our culture, getting along with each others families is also very important). We both decided that we needed to work on it, and even if it didn't work out, be friends. \n\nBut then a few days ago by younger brother got engaged. For some strange reason that I now regret more than anything I ever have, I didn't tell my girlfriend - childishly trying to avoid another such conversation. But this morning she found out (as she obviously had to) through someone else, and told me that she did not want to talk to me. I understood her anger and profusely apologized, but she blocked me off.\n\nI called her again later in the day and she said she was breaking up with me and never wanted to see me or hear from me again. She also said that I had become the one person I had tried for 27 years to not become (my abusive father), and that she wished the worst for me. \n\nNow I have lost my best friend and the only person who knew me; and she thinks that I am the person I have hated all my life. I know I screwed up, and I understand her reasons for leaving me. But I don't know what to do or who to talk to since I don't really have close friends in this country, and I have always been very emotionally reserved with everyone other than her.", "summary": "My girlfriend, my best friend, left me today after I stupidly didn't tell her about my brother's engagement, just to avoid a conversations about our future."} {"id": "t3_4r43j7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M22] wasn't invited to a Fourth of July party.", "post": "I just graduated from college, and in September, I will be moving several state away to begin working. I had originally planned to stay local, and signed a lease with an acquaintance for the year. I then received a job offer I couldn't refuse, and got out of the lease. The landlord was incredibly understanding, but it has left bad blood between my would-be roommate and I, despite the fact that he will have a two bedroom apartment to himself, because my landlord has not forced me to find a replacement for myself before I'm let out of the lease.\n\nIncidentally, he is also hosting a 4th of July party at the apartment where we would have lived together. When we thought we were living together we had spoken briefly about the possibility of doing one (our group of friends always has one in the area), but nothing concrete, and that was a month ago. I had my suspicions that he would host one anyway without inviting me, so it wasn't a surprise when I found out through a mutual friend that that is indeed the case.\n\nI don't know what to do. Due to some pretty serious insecurities I developed during high school, I generally refuse to invite myself anywhere, even if it I know it was a mistake (I have missed parties because I wasn't added to a Facebook event by mistake). I don't want to impose when I wasn't invited and risk some kind of scene (though he's not the type to cause a scene), but this could also be my last opportunity to see some people in this group before I move.\n\nI don't think I can bring myself to just show up without a formal invite, even if that's the right thing to do (legally speaking I still have a room in the apartment until the end of the month, so I could choose to show up and there's nothing anyone could do, but that's not how I roll). I don't want to make a scene or create drama within the group, but the whole thing feels shitty, and it's bringing out some long-held insecurities. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "I wasn't invited to a party because the host and I had a falling out, and I feel shitty and bad about myself as a result. I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_atysy", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "RA-ddit, should I drive across 5 states to return an ex's stuff, which she doesn't really want anyway?", "post": "Ok, so anyone interested can read about my recent breakup on this throw-away account's last submittal. Long story short: I broke up with a girl after a relationship of 4-5 years after I found out she was cheating on me. She moved out before the breakup for a job in a different state. So currently I still have some of her crap, and she still has some of mine.\n\nShe doesn't have anything of mine that I would consider very important, a few books and a bookcase, some CDs. I have most of her furniture: a couch, love seat, couple of dressers, etc (she moved out with the understanding that we wouldn't be breaking up, btw). \n\nShe's already told me that she doesn't want her things back. That's fine, but I still have a few things of hers which I would feel guilty about keeping or throwing away (things like her old school books, photos, some of her legal documents, etc.).\n\nI'm thinking about renting a trailer to take her crap to her. My theory is that since I broke up with her, I don't want to give her any reason to blame me for being the \"crazy ex\" or whatever in the future, so I want to get everything settled-up and resolved, and move on guilt-free. I don't want to keep her things because they're from my past now, a past I want to forget about. At the same time I don't want to throw them out for the reasons already given.\n\nThe trailer is going to be like $300, gas money another $300 or so for the round trip. I'm not expecting her to contribute to the moving costs, but she may surprise me. What should I do?", "summary": "After breaking up with a girl, I still have some of her things, which I don't feel right keeping or throwing out, should I drive across 5 states to return them?"} {"id": "t3_36zqxw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [m/21] of almost two years lied to me [f/19] for a whole year and now I don't know what to do?", "post": "So my boyfriend and I were dating for about a year until we decided to go on a break last year in March. We were fighting a lot because I wasn't allowed to sleep over his place and he said that it wasn't normal. A week before we broke up he told me he was planning on seeing this other girl that he knew had liked him for a while. I got very upset and he said he wouldn't go ahead with it. Eventually we decided to break up and wait for the right time we could properly be together with no restrictions. We did promise each other we wouldn't see other people during this time. During this break we were still constantly seeing and sleeping with each other until one day I saw a photo of him on Facebook holding hands with another girl. At this point, I recognised he had moved on and let it go. After a few weeks, we started talking again and decided to get back together. I asked him if he slept with that girl he was seeing and he said no, however, I didn't believe him and constantly asked him about it but he kept denying it. Last week, I came home and found he had left his Facebook open, I knew it was wrong to snoop but I just had a feeling he was lying so I read his messages. I found out he did sleep with this girl, he also took mdma with her and boasted to his friend about how awesome the sex was. Now I don't trust him and am very unsure about who exactly is this person I am dating. What should I do?", "summary": "my boyfriend lied to me about sleeping with a girl and now I don't trust him and am unsure of what to do?"} {"id": "t3_1itu7d", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, my summer school mark dropped a ton after one bad test. I need your tips on how to bring it back up.", "post": "So, I'm currently getting my grade 12 chemistry mark in summer school, which takes all of July. I was at a constant 81% all semester, but I recently did very poorly on one test. And just like that, with only one week left, it dropped to a 74%. Now, chemistry isn't my best subject, so I was ok with an 81. But this mark counts for university and I really need to get it done this summer. I have one more test, a huge assignment worth 15% of my mark, and an exam worth 15% of my mark. I need study tips! I don't have much time, so I'm going to have to cram. Do you think I can bring my mark back to where it was?", "summary": "My chemistry mark went down way below where I want it. I need study tips to bring it back up in a week."} {"id": "t3_2kjb8v", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by unknowingly calling the company VP", "post": "Yep, it happened about 10:30 this morning. I'm busy searching and applying for internships and had a question about one. So I call up the number listed for the company and am given another phone number and name of a guy (let's call him David), who I am told can answer my question. \n\nI proceeded to dial the phone number, of course I didn't get an answer. There was an actual voicemail set up though (not just a machine), so I figured I should leave a message. Big mistake! The recorded voice quit talking and the beep came and I fumbled through what was easily one of the most awkward messages I've left. Oh yeah, I didn't even leave my number. So I called back and left that.\n\nNo big deal though, right? He's just some lowly hiring manager in the company is what I figured. Wrong! I decided to google the guy's name and phone number and find out (to my horror) that he is the senior vice president of the company I'm wanting to apply for an internship with! I already fucked up and I haven't even applied yet.", "summary": "If given a phone number to call, look up who you're calling beforehand and be prepared for if you have to make a message."} {"id": "t3_1h6iui", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Gaming infected in my life", "post": "I'm a 20 year old woman now. I started gaming when I was 12, and settled in a certain game at the age of 14. That's where I spent the next 5 years of my life. I worked myself up to a point where I eventually received main admin of the game I played on - and that's where my gaming life actually turned into my job. Don't get me wrong, I loved doing it. \n\nHowever, at the age of 18 I had to make a choice. College began and I started to notice that I couldn't balance school with being an admin. Too much work, not enough time. Not to mention that my social life was, and had always been non-existent up to this point. \n\nIt took me months to decide. I felt like I would be nothing if I resigned, my outside life was empty. Not to mention the fact that the main gaming network owner needed me, there was no replacement. Eventually I decided that it was time for me to go, and after finding a suitable replacement I left the game behind in capable hands.\n\nI felt empty. What the fuck was I going to do with my life?\n\nFlash forward two years from that point. I'm almost in the last year of college and I've grown socially (not to the point where the rest is at but I'm doing my best), I have a handful of friends and I have a best friend who supports me in everything.\n\nAn important thing for me is that I'm starting to achieve what I've always dreamt of. I've always wanted to see the world, and this is now becoming reality. Just this year I'm going to see several countries. The highlight must be China, which I signed up for just yesterday. \n\nHopes for the future? I can only hope that I will eventually develop into a social and spontaneous person who people enjoy being around. I just wish it wasn't so goddamn hard to find suitable subjects to talk about with people.\n\nThanks for reading!", "summary": "became admin, wasted teenage years on game ==> no social life, quit gaming cold turkey, gained friends, worked on social behaviour, achieving dreams."} {"id": "t3_42z4e8", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by asking a coworker if she would like some of my \"Nut Harvest\"", "post": "This actually happened a few weeks ago. I live and work in the Kansas City area and the day before the Royals won the world series. I stopped at a Quick Trip to pick up the local newspaper. Since the Royals only win the world series every 30 years, I thought I would treat myself to something special. That something special was a nut and fruit mix called \"Nut Harvest\" by FritoLay.\nI had the package opened at my desk and a coworker walked by and saw the open package and remarked that it looked good.\nWithout missing a beat, I asked:\"Robin, would you like some of my Nut Harvest?\"\nNervous laughter followed from the both of us.\nI quickly walked over to her cube and shook a nice quantity of my \"Nut Harvest\" on her desk - careful not to make eye contact. I'm sure my face was beet red.\nI think the marketing department at FritoLay is a bunch of teenage boys.", "summary": "Bought a nut & fruit mix called Nut Harvest. Asked a coworker cutie if she would like some of my Nut Harvest. Embarrassed laughter follow."} {"id": "t3_27fwcm", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by meeting Cinderella.", "post": "Not today but last week I went and got some lunch with friends. So naturally we went to a place that has a reputation for destroying peoples insides because their food is cheap and tasty. I knew there would be repercussions but because my parents would be staying at a hotel and I was going to be studying alone all night I didn't care. \n\nSkipping forward to that night I'd done my study and was watching a movie. When a girl I met on tinder texts me saying her plans had been cancelled and she wanted to do something. So it was 11.30, cold and I really didn't want to drive anywhere so I told her to come over (I had never met her in person at this stage) and she said okay. \n\nSo as she's on her way she texted me saying she wished she had warmer clothes in her car so I said she could borrow a hoodie blah blah blah. All of a sudden she says she's got a Cinderella costume in her car (for her job) and so I jokingly told her to wear it. \n\nSo when she gets to my house she's wearing a Cinderella costume and my mind is blown. So we talk for a bit, watch a movie and it turns out she's a really cool girl and I like her. However at this stage my insides are at full nuclear meltdown and for some reason my nose is blocked(I got really sick a few days later). So however much I wanted to have sex with her I knew it was a bad idea and I was afraid it would end tragically. Especially after reading all the ridiculous shit that has happened to people on here.\n\nShe ended up sleeping in my bed and we didn't have sex. I feel like it could have been really awkward if she wasn't such a cool person. She asked me the next day why I didn't make a move and I just made up some bs out being tired and said I'd make a move next time.", "summary": "Ate some really cheap spicy food, Cinderella came over, couldn't have sex with her in fear of becoming a today I shat myself post."} {"id": "t3_maw3y", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, can my Supervisor stop me from applying to another department?", "post": "I work for a major retail store in Maryland, I'm currently working in a sales position that I thought I would enjoy, but after finding out the commission was not the same structure I was told, horrible hours, and coworkers who will barely even talk to me I decided to look at other opportunities. The store has a Loss Prevention position open and I attempted to apply for it. I've been talking to the other guys in LP and they think I would be a good fit. However I was told by the HR rep that my current supervisor won't let me because \"it would be too difficult to hire someone new.\" Are the allowed to do that? I haven't been able to find anything in the employee handbook and the national HR help line is closed till Monday. I also haven't gone to the store manager yet as I don't want to cause ripples in the pond so to speak.", "summary": "My supervisor is stopping me was applying to another department in the same store because it would be too difficult to find a replacement."} {"id": "t3_2bkghf", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Convincing parents (X-post /r/teenagers)", "post": "Hello /r/advice\nI need help convincing my parents to letting me drive a ways. My girlfriend and I have had tickets for a Panic at the Disco concert for over 6 months and we've been planning to go with her older brother and his girlfriend, her brother however was called into work so now he can't drive us. I offered to drive then (it's about 150 miles) and my parents are completely against it. I have had my license for 2 years and I have never been in an accident. My mom has even stated that I'm a very good driver. She still won't let me drive however even though we have planned this for months. She knows the concert won't be crazy and the place it's at isn't very shady either. What do you suppose I say to try to convince her? Anything would be helpful. Thank you!", "summary": "I want to take a trip for a day with my girlfriend, but my mom won't let me drive. Help me convince her please."} {"id": "t3_2xg7xn", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by getting dressed too quickly after a Grindr hookup.", "post": "Gay dude here. Like many gay dudes I use Grindr (a gay version of Tinder, but with more blatant sex). I was speaking to a guy this week and we agreed to hook up last night. Nothing complicated, just some fun. Great stuff.\n\nI went over to his place last night. He lived in a nice apartment but it was tiny. After I arrived we quickly went into the bedroom which was literally a bed in a room with a tiny bit of space around it (this bit is important).\n\nSo we have our fun and cuddle briefly afterwards. I then decide it's time for me to go (remember: nothing complicated, just fun). So I make my excuses and get out of bed, naked. I am about to gather up my clothes and get dressed in the living area (there's no room in here) and then GTFO. I can shower at home.\n\nI bend over to pick up my clothes and that's when it happened. I felt it happen in slow motion. As I bent over my buttcheeks connected with the wall behind me. I could feel what was going to happen but it was too late. My ass had connected with his wall. As I bent down more my ass dragged along with me.\n\nNow I can only describe this next bit as utterly horrifying. I turn and expect to see maybe a hilarious sweaty butt-print on the wall which I can make a joke about. Nope. There it was, on his white bedroom wall. A sweaty butt-print accompanied by a little parting in the middle containing a lovely lube/poop-smear. I left a sex skidmark on his bedroom wall.\n\nIf you know don't know what \"Santorum\" is be glad. If you do, yup, it was that.\n\nI didn't say anything. He didn't immediately notice (I don't think) so I got dressed and literally ran away. I haven't heard from him since, which I consider a good thing. Alex - I'm sorry.", "summary": "Hooked up with a guy, post-sex I bend over to get dressed and leave a buttsex skidmark on his bedroom wall."} {"id": "t3_35jwin", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] with my girlfriend [18F] have been dating for three years and have been sexually active for a while now and got caught having sex by her parents", "post": "I am currently in college and my SO lives in my home town and we have been doing this long distance thing for an entire school year now. I visit as often as I can and we started to have sex a couple months ago. We use protection every time and she is on birth control, her mother put her on it.\n\nI got back from college the other day and we went over to her place and we decided to have sex. We were in her room and I looked out and saw her mom standing there. We cleaned ourselves up and we both sat down on her bed. Her mom asked to speak with her privately and I just sat there. They came back in and her mom asked me to leave and I did.\n\nIt has been a couple days since then and contact with my girlfriend has been very sparse and I am getting a little nervous for her and our relationship. When we do talk she does not sound good and she has asked to talk to me about the future of our relationship and how we need to be on the same page. She also says that she feels she is punishing herself more then her parents are and I can only imagine the amount of guilt and shame she is feeling. \n\nI told my SO that I told my parents about that night, so both sides know, and she just seems like she has disappointed everyone and is taking this situation really hard, but I let my SO know that her relationship with my parents has not changed because of our actions.\n\nMe on the other hand do not know what her parents think of me,if they hate me or just disappointed in me, and am really nervous because my girlfriend is their only child and they have never had to deal with anything like this before. I am afraid that her parents are going to ban me from the house or force her to break up with me or even pull her out of going to school with me in the fall, so I am here seeking advice on how I can help the situation and have everything go as smoothly as possible.", "summary": "Got caught having sex and my SO is taking it really hard. I am just looking for some advice to help everything work out."} {"id": "t3_2q3ecx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my Boyfriend [24 M] of 7 months, Too comfortable too soon?", "post": "Hey Reddit, \n\nI need a bit of advice with my relationship. I met this amazing guy 7 months ago, I wasn't long out of a 5 year relationship that ended mutually and wasn't messy at all. After a few flings I met my current guy and things went really fast, We did the loveliest things for each other but it seems to have got really boring, we spend A LOT of time together because we live far apart so I stay at his a lot or vice-versa. Sex is always frequent and amazing but everything else seems to have stopped, the romantic gestures, thoughtful things and actually going out and doing things.\n\nShould it be slowing like this, are we getting lazy and what are some fun couple-y things we can do with each other inside and outside the house?", "summary": "After 7 months, thoughtful/romantic gestures have stopped and things seem to have got boring, I care for him a lot and i know he does me. Need help!"} {"id": "t3_25a77h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27M] just lost my best friend [25F]. I'm in love with her.", "post": "The two of us have felt the same way about each other for basically 5 years but neither of us ever talked about it. We each had short relationships with other people come and go during this time. The signs were so obvious, but we each would be thrown off by the occasional mixed signal. We've been friends with benefits for the last couple years as well. She's my best friend. She's everything to me.\n\nBut a few weeks ago she started dating someone and they hit it off. I couldn't handle the ambiguity any longer, so I told her everything. I told her I want to be with her, and that I've always loved her. She told me that it's too late, and that she wants to see how things go with this new guy. She said everything has been perfect with him and that she doesn't feel like she has to impress him. She's worried about us not working out because of our rocky history.\n\nI haven't had a clear thought in a week since this happened. I can barely sleep. I can barely eat. Did I really just lose her to someone she just met?\n\nIt's not like I waited for her to date for a year before telling her. Just a few weeks. Really?", "summary": "waited a few weeks too long to tell my best friend i love her. now i feel like i've lost her forever to a stranger."} {"id": "t3_2vprm5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [20 M] being an asshole? [20 F] has a boyfriend", "post": "I met this girl at a party and we started talking and flirting. At the end she gave me her number, we've been texting since Sunday morning. We got pretty close and kept flirting, and she told me she liked me.\n\nWell, she asks me what I'm doing for Valentine's day, I say that I unfortunately have to work. She replies with \"aw that sucks. I'm spending the day with my boyfriend and dinner with my parents\" My reaction in my mind is wait, back the fuck up, your boyfriend? \n\nShe apologizes for not telling me but says that she didn't expect to fall for me. We both already like each other at this point, and she tells me she wished we had kissed at the party. I tell her that I don't want to be thaat guy, I've been cheated on before and it sucks. I also say if we keep talking, on Saturday valentines day I don't want to say okay have a fun day hanging with/fucking your boyfriend I'll be here to flirt when you get home! That's wrong in my eyes. She said she thinks of me when she's with her boyfriend. Just hanging out and doing sexual things\n\nI have two conflicting emotions. I already like her a lot and it really sucks knowing that the person you like is with another guy. on the other hand though I don't want to be that guy I don't want to break up the relationship or have her cheat on him with me. I don't want to be with someone who is willing to cheat. \n\nAm I being an asshole by talking to her? Its not like she told me straight out that she has a boyfriend, we were already close by the time she told me", "summary": "I get close with a girl, she tells me a few days later she has a boyfriend. Am I being an asshole by pursuing her?"} {"id": "t3_2o7xbj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M/F] with my ex/girl I love [20 F] of about 2 years are struggling in college. What should I do?", "post": "Too make the breakup story incredibly short, she dumped me to \"explore\" her feelings in college (later learned she has been crushing on some other guy). Treated her like a princess. We grew so much together, and she told me if we lived 40 years ago she would have married me when we were 18. \n\nFast forward several long months after our breakup. She has a tendency to seem quite bipolar. One day she calls me and tells me she loves me and misses me like crazy and wants all the familiarity of me, and then two days later she will get very fussy with me and demand I give her more space. I'm very confused to say the least. \n\nThe thing is, I know in my head what I SHOULD do, but damn I seriously fell head over heals in love with this girl while we were together. On top of that, her family and even extended family tell me how much they miss me, how great I was for her. Her little cousins even told me they wanted to be just like me when they grow up. \n\nShe constantly tells me that she is confused, and that she still has conflicted feelings for me. I love her with all of my heart, but damn she can really mess with my head. \n\nHonestly, I'm just looking for opinions. My heart is telling me to be patient, that she will figure things out, but my mind and some of my friends are telling me to move on.", "summary": "Still love the girl that broke up with me. She has conflicting emotions about me and I don't know what I should do."} {"id": "t3_fuuwo", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I work for a large television provider in Canada. Our \"on hold\" music and voice overs kind of really suck. I want to fix this. I could use some help.", "post": "Hi,\n\nLong time redditor. Throwaway account. I do tech support via e-mail, from one of our call centers. It's not the best job in the world, but I love the company I work for. I am also a customer of many other large business, and I HATE IVR's and shitty hold music. Ours is pretty bad, and loops constantly. It pisses people off more than it helps. \n\nI have a chance to change that. I have the opportunity to put together some suggestions to improve it, and have someone with actual say; evaluate it and possibly run with it.\n\nMy question to you Reddit is; what do you think would make decent hold music and voice overs? Alternatively, what upsets you the most with them? (my pet peeve is Christmas music). \n\nPlease, if anyone have any suggestions or input, I'm all eyes. Thank you.", "summary": "My companies hold music/messages suck. Want to make them better. Would love suggestions. Also; what do you hate?"} {"id": "t3_2bp5cx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27M] now dating new girl [24F], I have no experience with 'normal' relationships and have no idea I'm doing, advice?", "post": "I'll try to keep this short. I've recently(ish) moved to a new city and after a couple months I believe I've started 'dating' someone new, though the relationship hasn't defined. I've never actually \"dated\" per se, and my previous relationship experience was not even remotely normal. It started fast, intense, and became unhealthy after a while.\n\nTimeline of events thus far is as follows.\n\nFirst date was last Wednesday, we met up for drinks, wound up talking a *long* time and hit it off pretty well. The date ended up with us making out on a street corner (classy, I know) for roughly 10-15 minutes.\n\nSecond date, this past Sunday. Met up in a museum and she immediately came up and kissed me. Wandered around museums for a few hours holding hands and intermittently kissing. Ended up going to a bar after for drinks. Total length of the date was roughly 4 1/2 hours.\n\nThird date, Tuesday. We met at a bar for food and drinks, and after being there for a while went down the street to meet her friends for trivia. She didn't tell her friends I was coming, and wasn't shy about showing pda in front of them. I got along with them fine and at the end right before she got into a cab, she planted a big one on me in front of all of them, no shame.\n\nThing is, I have absolutely no experience with dating or what 'normal' is supposed to be like, and the logical and emotional parts of my brain aren't connecting very well on this. I'm also kind of socially awkward and I've been told to just go with the flow, but I don't know what the \"flow\" is or how to go with it. I don't know how often I'm supposed to keep up communication, what I should and shouldn't worry about, and basically I keep wondering \"What do I do to not fuck up this awesome thing that's happening to me?\". Any general advice?", "summary": "Dating a new girl, it's going well, but I have no experience and can't shake the fear of making a misstep and fucking up."} {"id": "t3_ui97x", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Did I blow it with this guy because I had sex with him too soon?", "post": "I'm 24F and attractive. I met this guy on OKC. We talked for a couple days before meeting up for drinks. Conversation was excellent and we had a lot in common. No kiss, just a casual goodbye. We kept texted and chatting during the week. A few days later he invited me over to his place. We just watched a movie and had a quick goodbye kiss. The next day I went over there we ended up having sex. After that, I felt like he was texting me less. The next time he invited me over, I told him that I thought we were moving too fast and he said he respected and understood how I felt and he was ok with taking it slow. A few days later he asked me out for drinks but I was busy. A few nights ago I went over to his place and we ended up having sex again! \n\nNow let me say this, the sex is mindblowing so I'm having a hard time controlling myself with him. And we are both busy people so we don't talk everyday. But every time we hang out and talk I start liking him more and more! we've known each other for about 2 weeks now and have hung out 4 times. \n\nNow I feel like because we had Sex so soon, it's not going to lead into a relationship. I feel like even though he is a super busy guy, he would contact me more if he was interested. Maybe I'm wrong though. \n\nSo my question to you, Reddit, is, is it possible to have a relationship now? Is it too soon to ask what his intentions are?", "summary": "Met a guy 2 weeks ago. Hung out 4 times and had sex twice. We don't talk everyday. Is he still going to be interested in a relationship?"} {"id": "t3_1ssc8m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I 21[f] met a 21[f] a bit over a month ago at a party, we fooled around and have started hanging out a ton, but she is still sleeping with her ex...", "post": "Okay so I'm going to try and explain the entire situation with enough detail, if anything more is needed please ask.\n\nSo I met this girl about 5-6 weeks ago just after Halloween weekend. We met through mutual friends and we all went to a party together. We IMMEDIATELY hit it off and by the end of the night we were making out and feeling on each other.\n\nSo over the past 5 weeks or so we have been hanging out a ton and have become pretty close. Now the first two weeks we had fooled around a bit, but she had started to kinda back off. So she is completely open to me and she tells me that she is still fucking her ex boyfriend. Keep in mind that we have not had sex yet. And they had been fucking before we met.\n\nNow she claims that the only reason she is still having sex with him is because \"it's easy\" and they are \"best friends\". I won't go into details of their break up, but from what she's told me I really think that they need to stop sleeping together.\n\nShe's told me that she just wants to be friends FOR NOW. I guess I'm kind of just stuck and I don't want to do. I know I should just let her and her ex boyfriend thing play out, but I am really starting to like her and I think the longer I wait on trying anything then she will start to only see me as a friend if I haven't already.\n\nI want to talk to her straight up and we have a couple of times, but I'm just not sure what to say or do. I like her but it seems like she is still attached to her ex so I'm really not sure what to do.\n\nAny advice? Also please ask for anymore details", "summary": "Met a girl through mutual friends, hit it off and fooled around at a party, want to take things further but she is still fucking her ex, what should I do?"} {"id": "t3_3468hq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [18 M] of five months, we won't be seeing each other for a few months and I want to show him how much I care?", "post": "Basically, I'm a freshman in college and have been dating this guy for about five months. I've known him around seven. We would easily consider each other to be best friends as well as in a relationship. We live about six hours away when away from University, and I will probably only see him once or twice over the summer due to outside reasons.\n\nHe has mentioned a few times on doing some grand act of some sort to show his love, despite that I know how much he loves and cares for me. He hasn't brought it up in a while, but I know him well and it's one of those things that sort of festers in the back of his mind. It wouldn't really matter to me if he did whatever it is that he's planning, but I know he would really like it if I did something grand for him.\n\nHe is always planning things to for me and surprise me, like random dates, little presents, a cup of coffee from my favorite cafe on a bad day, etc. He even wrote me a song. (He's a musician).\n\n I try my best to keep him on his toes and do similar things. For example, in the past I've hunted all over town before having to special order a record he had been dying for. It made his entire week when I found it, and he still hasn't stopped talking about it several months later.\n\nBasically, I want to do something big and fun for him as a final goodbye and act of love before summer begins. A friend suggested a scavenger hunt that leads to all our favorite places, but he really dislikes scavenger hunts.\n\nAnother thought I had was to write him a little letter or draw a picture for each day of summer because I know his home environment is kind of shitty and I'd like to cheer him up when I can't be there.\n\nI would love any suggestions or creative ideas that might help me out. I've got a few ideas tossing around my head but I thought hearing some stuff from you all might help get the creativity flowing. Sorry this was so long.", "summary": "I would love some suggestions to surprise my boyfriend to show how much I care before summer starts. Simple ideas might help me think of even bigger ones! Thanks (:"} {"id": "t3_13e3u4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I once accidentally made my family believe I was lost in a foreign country. In what ways have you sent your family into a worried panic?", "post": "I was studying abroad in college a few years ago and had gone to Barcelona, Spain for spring break with a group of my friends. I had gotten separated from them for hours trying to climb a mountain path and ended up horribly lost. I was beginning to get dark, and none of my friends had working cell phones on this trip, so I started making my way back to the hostel alone. As this was far from the city and I knew no spanish, I was reasonably worried that I would be stuck overnight. For comforts sake, I ended up placing a call to my mother. I told her I was separated from my friends in Barcelona and was lost, she went into panic mode asking where I was, am I okay, etc... I was able to respond with \"I'm okay, but it's getting dark and I have no clue where I am. We went out away from the city so I don't even know how to get back. \" As soon as I finished that sentence my phone ran out of minutes and it hung up. I made it back eventually but had no way to contact my mother to let her know for at least 4 or 5 days. I found out later she was freaking out, crying, and had to be prevented from actually going to Spain to set out to rescue me. I felt so bad, but now we laugh about it. Well, I laugh about it at least.", "summary": "I got lost in Spain and called my mom just before my phone died, letting her believe I was hopelessly lost for almost a week"} {"id": "t3_3hlve7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (23F) keep getting asked out by random creepy (50s?M). Don't know how to politely turn him down without making him mad.", "post": "So to get my bus home I have to walk through a shopping area on the edge of the main town. It's a well known area for a lot of homeless/immigrants as there's a few shelters and help centres around there. \n\nFor the past few days I keep running in to the same guy, who, from his accent, has moved over from a different country. He keeps asking me out for coffee or food and I'm finding it hard to find a way to say \"no, I'm not interested\" as I'm afraid it will make him mad. \n\nI ran into him again on the way today, and he asked me for my phone number. I tried to give him a fake one but he rang it straight away so the gig was up. I ended up giving him my real number because I honestly didn't know how to get away from the situation, but obviously now I'm worried he'll ring me. \n\nI have thought of messaging him and just saying \"sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but I am not interested\" (though I had already slipped in I had a boyfriend meeting me on the hope that would put him off). Or I don't know if it's best to just ignore him, but then what do I do if I run into him again?\n\nI have met people like him before, from the same area and it seems like a cultural thing, not that he's intentionally being creepy. I'm sure he's probably just after friendship (but it's still uncomfortable). Sadly, I'm a teeny tiny woman, so it all comes across as creepy to me. \n\nAny advice would be appreciated. Thanks guys", "summary": "been asked out for coffee by randomer. Now he has my number. How do I politely tell him I'm not interested?"} {"id": "t3_3i69oo", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Threesome with a virgin", "post": "My girlfriend and I are both very close friends with her best friend. We've been joking forever about drinking and having a threesome, but it ended up happening and in the moment, parts were really awesome, but afterwords, I just feel terrible. Even if she was cool with it, she was still very nervous about losing it and I feel like shit about taking it. She kept saying it hurt, but she kept wanting to try and I just feel wrong. I feel like I took something I don't have the right to take. How do people who have slept with tons of other people seek out virginity to take? I just don't get it. I wanted a threesome, I didn't want to feel like I stole something from someone. We're still friends, and I don't think things are weird between us, I just have this sludgy weight in my gut.", "summary": "Have a threesome with somebody experienced and / or sexually enlightened. No matter how you feel or how comfortable you are with both parties, there's just something that won't let you really enjoy what an amazing experience it can be."} {"id": "t3_46o0zt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [28M] don't know if I should keep trying or get a divorce . Can reddit help me communicate to my wife [26F]?", "post": "We've been together for 8 years, married for 5 - I'm not sure what to do anymore. I really love my wife and dogs, we have the same interests and she's helped me become the person I am today. \n\nI feel like I'm the only responsible one, I do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and housework. We work similar hours and I've asked her many times over the last few years to help out, she did for a little while but always stops. On the Monday the 8th I came home to a messy house like normal, she works a later shift on Monday and Tuesday, and got fed up, so I told her when she got home that we had to figure out a plan to be partners, because I felt like a maid. She apologized and did a few things Tuesday and Wednesday and we made up on Friday - she said she 100% knows that she's been lacking lately and she'll change. We had a great Valentine's Day.\n\nWell the last few days I've come home from work and had to do all of the dishes, cooking, and laundry again. I just don't know what to do anymore. How can I convince her to ACTUALLY help me. I don't want to have children with her if I'm going to be stuck doing all the work.\n\nI begged her to see therapist 8 months ago and he helped her feel \"a billion percent better\" with an anti anxiety pill and her mood is way better, but she still doesn't do anything I ask or says \"I'll do it tomorrow.\"\n\nWhat can I do? I don't want to leave her, I love her very much and want this to work - I just need some help sometimes.", "summary": "I do all the chores, how can I tell her I'm really serious about wanting to be a partner, not a maid?"} {"id": "t3_2jx5w7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by giving a girl my number.", "post": "Today I was on my commute back home when a really attractive girl sat across from me. In my eyes she had exactly what I would hope a potential girlfriend would have. \n\nGlances are mutually exchanged and she even gives me a small smile at one point, I start picturing our lives together just sappy shit... this and that... we are going to live happily ever after etc. I soon come to realize my stop is next and my dreams of my soulmate come crashing down. In a moment of desperation of not only never seeing her again, but not having the courage to do anything about it I decide to take action.\n\nHaving less than a minute of time left before the doors open I just say fuck it and (don't know how) manage to pull out a tiny piece of paper out of my bag. Write just my number on it all shaky/scratchy stand up and just throw it at the girl and run out. My quick burst of confidence lasted just enough to take the paper out.", "summary": "beautiful girl exchanges looks with me on the train, seconds before my stop manage to write my number, throw it at the girl, and run out like a little bitch."} {"id": "t3_250ro9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 F] found the guy my friend is dating [22M, 19 F] on Tinder", "post": "As the title says, I found the guy my friend is dating on Tinder, and he was active one day ago. They've been dating for more than a month now (maybe 2 months?). Since they're not exclusive, normally I wouldn't tell my friend but I know that she wants to become exclusive with him, and he took her virginity. My friend also really, really likes this guy. I think it would crush her if she knew. \n\nShould I tell her? It's also the week before finals and she's very stressed studying for her final exams and papers. In the meantime I have taken a screen shot of the evidence. I was planning on telling her after finals are all over...\n\nThanks!", "summary": "Guy dating friend (also took her virginity) is active on Tinder and I don't know if I should tell her or not (or when)."} {"id": "t3_20js3l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is my[21 M] ex[21F] breaking up with me?", "post": "NOTE** Sorry for my poor english. I seldom write using english\n\nMy ex girlfriend broke up with me last month on the valentine's day. We had been together for 3 year and the next week after valentine's day is our forth year anniversary.\n\nWe both are still schooling but she is doing her internship, so she doesn't have much time being together with me.\n\nOn the day she broke up with me she said that she has been trying very hard to fell in love with me again because she lost the feeling of being in love with me. But these time, she has been texting this guy and meeting him. She also said that this relationship has nothing to do with that guy but I don't feel it that way. \n\nWhile we are together, she told me that this guy has like her before and ask me for advise. So I tell her to stop talking to him for a while. After a few weeks, that guy talk to her again and she has been talking to her since. I know what's going on but I trust her that she would know how to draw the line properly, so I didn't say much to her.\n\nShe tell me that the guy understand her more than I do. I can agree with the part where she say I don't understand her that well. But she only tell me when the relationship is ending and it is too late to make it up for her. I don't want to comment if that guy understand her well.\n\nDuring the time when I am with her, I also have fallen for another girl. What I do is that I force myself to love her again by meeting her more often and doing what a boyfriend should do and eventually I have fallen for her again. I feel that I have done something to prove myself that I am faithful but she didn't do her part as a girlfriend to try and love me again.", "summary": "My ex broke up with me because she doesn't have feeling for me anymore but she has been texting and meeting this guy all along. Is she cheating on me?"} {"id": "t3_3gh4bv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] and my GF [24 F] of 2 years just broke up because she fell for a guy that persuaded her to join his religion. Am I the only one who thinks that's stupid & immature of her?", "post": "We were doing really well as we overcame some difficult obstacles and gone through some rough fights. But everything was going smoothly and we were still in love. \n\nThen, just overnight, she said she wanted to break up because she has been talking to a guy behind my back and she started developing feeling for him. If she wanted to join a religion and be closer to God then that's perfectly fine with me. But the fact that she joined for a guy makes me sick and confused.\n\nI feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Am I wrong for thinking that she is nuts or too immature to be in an adult relationship if she can just jump ship like that? I have a feeling that I'm better off without her.", "summary": "GF of 2 years broke up with me because she wants to be \"closer to God\" with the guy that told her to join his religion."} {"id": "t3_1tm0e5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] 8 year relationship ended on Christmas day and I don't feel over it yet.", "post": "Around 2-3 years ago on Christmas day me and the ex, got in to an argument that ended our 8 year relationship, the argument consisted of pretty much every flaw we had inside and outside of our relationship. I won't go in to too many details about the argument. \n \nSince the argument we had talked once when she got ahold of me on AIM, she had moved on completely and I still had many built up feelings for her and in my star struck (Because I didn't think she would EVER contact me) state I admitted all of the built up emotions and feelings to her. The next day after realizing what I had done, sent her an offline message basically breaking contact once again since she had moved on and I obviously had not and was feeling extremely vulnerable to what she was able to make me admit to her. \n \nFast forward 2 years, and 4 failed relationships (Different reasons) later, and I'm feeling like I'm not even close to being over this yet and I have no clue how to proceed and am feeling frustrated and still hurt about the whole situation. She pops in to my mind at least twice a week still (And this has stayed consistence even while I was in relationships which may have led to their failure) and has very often been in my dreams which consist of her coming back in to my life, which I can feel are happy and I wake up happy until I realize the dreams have involved her. \n \nContacting her in any way is completely out of the question, she has a kid, a husband, and as far as I know never thinks about me for a second, plus I'd rather just avoid it, I still feel completely vulnerable even given her circumstances. The relationship with her was my most successful and happy relationship to date, I suppose that may also be the cause of how I feel. \n \nI suppose I'm trying to get some advice and/or support with my situation as well as venting and getting it out there to people who don't know me or the person in question.", "summary": "Relationship of 8 years ended on Christmas day, still think of ex and dream of her, feeling not over it and looking for suggestions on how to get over it and other suggestions."} {"id": "t3_42jwza", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30M] with my GF [29F] 2 years, potential breakup and shared lease", "post": "Things are getting shaky. We argue more and more every day. Weve lived together for about a year. Not looking to break up but I want to be prepared with regard to our lease.\n\nWe entered into lease for a place together. I'm the bread winner. I pay the lease every time. We have 9 months left. She gives me about 25% of the lease (what she can afford to help out with).\n\nIf we break up can I kick her out? Is she financially responsible for a portion of the lease? Contract has no lease break fee, only a condition that new tenants need to be found or we have to pay or were on the hook until the end. I'm not hurting for cash but I don't want to lose the place. Just looking for advice around that and also the best way to proceed.", "summary": "we are both on the lease. I make all payments to landlord. If it comes to it can I kick her off the lease and retain the place without losing it? Any general advice if it gets to that point?"} {"id": "t3_3ljr73", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [21M] keeps comparing me [20F] to other girls & pointing out my insecurities", "post": "My guy friend likes to tease about my weight. I'm okay with that in fact I like to make a fool out of myself when we're together & playfully banter each other. \n\nRecently, he's been touchy feely as well. He pokes the sides of my stomach a lot, touches my neck (not in a sensual way), distracts me when im on my phone by tapping it, pokes my cheeks when I'm not looking, being sarcastic, says I'm weird, tells me I should stop because my jokes are corny, mimics my voice, teases me even when I'm with my friends, touches my sore muscles with pressure from workout. There's even this one time when we were sitting, he was messing around trying to get my phone suddenly touched my armpits and smelled it which kinda creeped me out a little bit lol. As a revenge, I tend to pinch, push, punch or kick him. \n\nBut yesterday, I almost cried because of humiliation. He said something about me shaving something, didn't specifically say my stache (I have pcos) but it was obvious. I was crying all night, is it my fault that've pcos? He said I was old enough not to be affected but words hurt. He said I look like a guy, that I'm macho, asked me how many chics I have so I can give him one. He insulted me right there where there's people (we were riding a bus going home) \n\nWhen he realized I was teary eyed, he felt guilty he was trying to make me laugh. He said I wasn't fun like I used to be, now I'm boring. That if he won't be playful, it would be boring. There's this one time he was joking about my weight saying I should workout, then points to a skinny girl then proceeds saying to be more like a \"chic\". He said next time he won't do it anymore, I'm gonna be the one who's gonna insult him. PCOS is depressing & ruining my life.", "summary": "My friend constantly compares me to girls and points out my flaws. Why does he do these? Sorry for my poor grammar."} {"id": "t3_52paiw", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [20M] don't know what to do when my girlfriend [20F] asks me to stay every night", "post": "My girlfriend recently has acquired an RA job at a small school. She works closely with her small group of residents, because her entire floor is made up of about 30 \"diversity\" students that needed a new start. They have been having a lot of drama and major issues these first few weeks of school. I live about 20 minutes from my girlfriend. I work about an hour away from our homes, and I get off at midnight. I get home around 1, change, then call my girlfriend to say goodnight. About 5 out of the 7 last nights, she calls me back around 2:30, saying she's sorry because she was with a resident handling a situation. She then asks me to come over to her apartment because \"she's been listening to people all day and she NEEDS me there\". When I say I'm tired and in bed she starts crying. I don't know what to do. Today I got home from work at 1am, and she asked me to come over. I said I was tired and sore (I'll have to bike over to her apartment because I can't park there over night). She then starts crying how she doesn't have anybody and how she needs me there and how if I really cared, I would've been there today. I told her that besides class and work, I had ~10 minutes of free time today. She promptly tells me \"if you cared you would've seen me during that 10 minutes\". I feel like an asshole because I really want to help and I love her more than anything, but I feel like these students are affecting her life more than they should, and are in turn affecting my life and sleeping schedule. Every time I bring up the fact that I need sleep, she will say \"you think I don't need sleep? I've slept less than you for the past month\". I don't know how to respond to that. I didn't make her choose the RA job..\n\nPlease help", "summary": "girlfriend's RA job is taking a toll on her and in turn, taking a toll on me. I feel like an asshole for refusing to let her residents get in the way of my sleep schedule and happiness"} {"id": "t3_14l50p", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "She's pregnant and so was I.", "post": "I've been friends with him for 13 years, since I was 14. He proclaimed his undying love to me when I was 17, yet I friend-zoned him. At 22 I gave in and we dated for a year. The relationship ended when I got pregnant. I told him I was pregnant and he said he wasn't ready to be a dad and asked me if \"you want to keep it?\" I asked him if he was ready to man up and be a dad and he said no. I was in no shape to be raising a kid on my own. I made minimum wage and lived in a shitty part of town and had no hope of a raise at my job. So I made the appointment at the abortion clinic in Pittsburgh, and he drove me there, waited til it was over, and drove me home. We never talked again.... Until... I got a new job, and what do you know, his Mom is the hostess. His aunt is my boss. AND his girlfriend at the time is a fill in waitress. WELL, over summer he married his girlfriend and today I just found out she's pregnant. Also his other aunt and two cousins work there and everyone is bouncing off the walls about their pregnancy and I'm supposed to be so fucking happy for them as well. Yeah I fake it well, but on the inside I just want to scream. What the fuck was wrong with me!?!? Her family has money and mine doesn't, and he's hinted as to that was the reasoning, but really, to be fine with an abortion and then TRY because her family has money. FUCK YOU. He actually told me he would have married me if it wasn't for her rich parents and their guaranteed vacations every year.", "summary": "I work with my ex's family and he told me to abort our child and I did. I now have to work with his pregnant wife. And be nice about it."} {"id": "t3_evf69", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "G/F is Huge on Organic Foods...I'm Not Convinced. Advice? Please?", "post": "Ok, Reddit. I need a little help here. I've been dating a wonderful girl for several months, and we're to the point where things are getting pretty serious. We have a crap-ton of fun together, but every couple of weeks the nagging issue of food & food safety comes up. \n\nShe's a big proponent of anything organic: all-natural, farmer-owned, range-fed, no hormones, no antibiotics, etc. She is entirely dismissive of anything not organic, and is very skeptical of genetically modified foods. I support her and listen to her arguments and ideas, which I believe are all held in good faith and a longing for health and happiness. But sometimes I can't help but feel like her ideas are based more on pseudoscience than actual science. I've done a good deal of research, and I feel that while a lot of the things she says have credit, the \"fuzzy-feeling factor\" might be the big thing keeping her from trying to see things differently. She's very anti-establishment, and I'm corporate. Monsanto is the devil, but I support genetic modification. Anything the little guy does is infinitely better than what any corporation could muster. She doesn't trust that scientists do things for the betterment of humanity, and rather just for profit. And yet she raves about genitically modifying bees to keep them from being killed by a natural disease. \n\nTo her, antibiotics and hormones in food are satan, and yet she smokes pot and drinks a good bit. Am I mistaken in thinking that this is a bit misguided? She doesn't see it that way, and says instead that pot is her choice. I counter with \"cheaper meat that has hormones is my choice.\" To which she replies angrily, \"you just don't get it. How can you do that to your body?\"\n\nAll in all, I'm having a hard time reconciling with her cognitive dissonance. I love the girl, which is why I'm trying hard to understand what this organic thing is all about. I'm all for sustainability and healthy living, but I think some of this counter-culture is just as corrupt and greed-driven as the industrial/conventional system.", "summary": "My girlfriend is engrossed in the organic/all-natural culture, and I'm trying to decide whether it's based on reality or if it's snake oil..."} {"id": "t3_4h4fbv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[19 M] am going to counseling to get help with my insecurities over my Girlfriend's [18F] past", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We met over the summer before university started, and I fell head over heels. We started texting, but I did't think she was interested, and she didn't think I was either. We started talking again after uni started, and we fell in love. \n\nI lost my virginity to her. Later in the fall semester she told me about her sexual past, which was mainly over the summer when we met. She told me how ashamed of it she was because she let multiple guys use her to get attention because she was going through depression, and she never enjoyed it. She tells me I'm the best she's ever had, and she never knew sex could be as loving as what we have. \n\nFor the record, I was raised conservative(gigantic liberal now), so I still have some conceptions about promiscuous women from how I was raised, but she challenges everything I ever thought about women like that. However, I still get very insecure over her past. I envision the other guys still having sex with her. I know it's not rational, and I have realized that I would be this way with any other girl I date unless she's a virgin, which I don't particularly care for. It makes me worry about the future of the relationship, so I decided I wanted to get counseling.", "summary": "I'm insecure over my girlfriend's past, and I'm going to get help. Is this the right thing to do? Is there any hope for my relationship?"} {"id": "t3_srxso", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Dear Reddit, are there any car salesman/dealers out there?", "post": "I have been told so many different things by people who are NOT car salesman and i was hoping reddit could clear things up for me.\n\nLast month I leased a new 2012 Hyundai Santa Fe. \n\nMy question is, how much wiggle room is there really in a lease? The car i just leased is a 4 cyl engine...Now, after having driven it around town, i really wish i had gone for the V6, as everyone says the gas mileage really isn't that much different, and the power IS. Also, the sound system is crap, and i would prefer the upgraded model with the better system.\n\nSome people have told me i could take it back now and they probably would trade the car for me, do a new lease, (seeing as how i want to Upgrade). This seems too far fetched. I figure i will have to wait at least 2-3 years ( i signed for a 4 year lease) before that is even an option.", "summary": "Leased a new car last month, wished i would have chose the V6, is there a way to rectify this without paying through the nose or having to use a 3rd party site like swaplease?"} {"id": "t3_3a796s", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should I meet this girl?", "post": "So I started talking to this girl after I met her online and this fall I will be about an hour away from here while I am away at college. She really wants to meet me and spend time with me (She implied doing other things but that is not super important to me). She is somewhat attractive to me and she is nice enough.\n\nHere is the problem I am having. She said she is going to breakup with her boyfriend so we can date (I had never even implied I wanted to date her). She said she loved me and cried when I didn't say it back and she has multiple times gotten very upset when I did not respond to her text and she even went as far as adding me on Facebook.\n\nShould I actually meet up with her? It could be a good time but there are a lot of things that concern me about her. If I should not, how should I separate myself from her?", "summary": "Should I meet up with a girl I met online but have some concerns about for a hookup or should I steer clear?"} {"id": "t3_2lpxci", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] has some confidence and self-esteem issues that I need help overcoming. (18F)", "post": "I am funny, social, caring, loving, a talented musician, good looking, have had some minor successes that I am proud of that are progressing my career further, have very close friends and family who think highly of me, hardworking, and am always looking to improve on myself. \n \nI have a lot of things going for me, you may agree or disagree that this isn't low self-esteem, but I am very happy with my life and where I am. Just when it comes to relationships I assume the worst. I mainly jumped to the conclusion of having low self-esteem because I have read online that I am just insecure about myself. Which I totally believe, I guess I would just like to know how to utilize my benefits and what I have going for me. \n \nWhenever there is a picture of her posted on facebook, I get a tiny bit of anxiety (which goes away within 10 minutes luckily). Depending on her responses I will text her more or less, and try and work that out. I constantly worry about the balance of me talking to her too much or me not talking enough. We are waiting a few months before actually getting together further because of some complications in both of our lives (not important to my issues). We talk 2-3 times a week so I am hoping we can get together. But basically, I get anxious over things that I don't understand why I get anxious over. I think it's just me assuming that it isn't going to work way too early in the game. \n \nIt has always been this way for me. Would love some advice on boosting my self-esteem. I've decided to try not focusing too much on the girl and do things that boost my self-esteem like finishing music, working and completing projects. I would really like to get rid of it as best I can. I am willing to do anything from writing out the same thing every day for a year to better diet and exercise. Sorry for the rambling, and thanks everyone!", "summary": "I get worried that things won't work out in a relationship, and I think it's low self-esteem when I really don't have low self-esteem. I would just like to know how to utilize my confidence better."} {"id": "t3_2l4gaj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24 M] plan to propose to my SO [26 F] on a trip we're taking on New Year's Eve. Any advice?", "post": "I'm 25/M and she's 26/F. We've been together five years but we've been really good friends for about 8 years now. Yes, this is a When Harry Met Sally-type relationship.\n\n*Before anyone says I shouldn't try to copy those over-the-top YouTube proposals: I won't, but I'd still like to do something special. And, yes, I made sure she's going to say yes.*\n\nMy SO and I will be taking a trip from December 30 to January 2. We will be spending the first night in an isolated island about 6 hours from the city then the New Year's Eve and the rest of the trip in the city. \n\nMy original plan was to propose in the island but the place is so bare and has limited facilities (the best resorts in the island would probably be considered 2-star at best) that she might not enjoy the experience so I'm now leaning on not doing it. Besides, it might be more fun to propose on New Year's Eve.\n\nSo my new plan is to propose while we're in the city. I already asked the hotel if they could help me out and I'm waiting for them to get back to me. Ideally, I would like to do it at midnight but she might want to attend a NYE party and I don't want to do it in public. I might be able to convince her to watch the fireworks from our hotel room and do it there but that would depend on the hotel upgrading us or giving us a nice room.\n\nThere are a lot of romantic spots in the city we're going to be in but that would mean I'd have to do it on the Jan 1st or 2nd, which is *okay*, though I would prefer to do it on Dec 31.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice on how to go about it? Do my plans sound too cheesy/rom-comish? By the way, the city we're going to is the place where we had our first vacation together 5+ years ago.", "summary": "Is a New Year's Eve proposal a good idea? Or should I do it before or after? Does anyone have any other advice?"} {"id": "t3_2hkw6r", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Trying to relocate but out-of-state companies never call back.", "post": "I've been searching to start my career as a mechanical engineer for almost a year now. I graduated two years ago with pretty awesome grades and was offered a promotion at the grocery store I worked for. After transferring across town and getting promoted again I lost track of time. When I finally started looking, my girlfriend and I decided that it was time to move out of our home town. We picked a couple of cities that we would like and I started looking. I've gotten a few interviews from in-town positions, but only a few call backs from the out-of-state listings. I have tried to make it clear that I want to move and will start in a reasonable time. What is a good way to get companies to take my plans to relocate seriously? How do I get out-of-state jobs to call me back?", "summary": "What is a good way to get companies to take my plans to relocate seriously? How do I get out-of-state jobs to call me back?"} {"id": "t3_1kc57j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My in-laws (50ish) invited my (23) bf's (22) EX-girlfriend (21) to go on holiday with them", "post": "Alright, this might sound childish, but it's kind of a big deal to me.\n\nEvery year, my in-laws go on holiday to Spain. They're a family of 4, parents, daughter (18) and my boyfriend. We've been together for over 2 year.\n\nThis year, I couldn't join them, and honestly I didn't really care for it. My in-laws are very shallow people, whereas I'm more of a tomboy/nerd, and we just don't have anything in common. We're still very friendly to each other, I try to understand their fascination with clothes and parties, and they try to not criticize me about spending time on the computer or in the gym. We manage.\n\nAnyway, they left on holiday 2 weeks ago, and my boyfriend joined them a couple of days ago.\n\nBefore he left, we found out that his sister (18) had invited his ex-girlfriend to go along. They never told us anything about this, so even my boyfriend was oblivious to this.\n\nWe were both very hurt to hear this. Of course, if she wants to invite a friend, I can't stop her, but in this case I think it would've been appropriate to at least inform my bf of this. She left the day he arrived, but they lied about this too (they said she left 3 days prior to his arrival).\n\nIn the meantime, I'm left to care for his sister's cat everyday. I told my bf I was not comfortable with this because I was *so angry* at her, but it was very difficult to find someone else who was available on such short notice, so I sucked it up (more for my boyfriend than for his sister).\n\nAnyway, what I'm asking of you is... How do I settle this? How do I react when they get back? I have to admit I'm a very stubborn person, and I often get angry just for the sake of being angry, which is AWFUL of me, I know.\n\nSo... How would you handle this?", "summary": "My parents invited my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend on holiday with them and didn't tell us about it. She left as he arrived, but I'm still angry about it. Now what?"} {"id": "t3_ekgnk", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I just broke up with this girl I'm head over heels for, and it's eating me up inside...", "post": "(I'm the m22, she's the f/25)even though I know I can't be the guy she wants or needs. My parents divorced a few months ago, and it hasn't affected me until I went home for thanksgiving. Ever since then, I've projected my shitty attitude onto the relationship I've had with the first girl I've ever felt this strongly about. I've realized that I can't be in a relationship right now, not while I'm having this crazy nervous breakdown. I'm hoping this turns out to be a break instead of a break up, as I can't imagine spending the night with anyone else but her. Unfortunately, I get the feeling that she's ready to move on. The whole thing has been tearing me up inside. I need to learn to not let my guard down, ever, or at least extremely slowly. God, I wish she knew how much I cared about her, but with the way I've been since my parents split, I don't think I could tell her without her taking it in a negative light. I'm afraid I've ended the only opportunity with the girl I love. I guess time heals all scars, but this one will be a hard one to bear. Thanks for reading my stupid, first-world problems. May your lives have more upvotes!", "summary": "whining about my inability to keep a solid relationship with the ex-girlfriend I love. I'm a headcase, and I don't know how to deal with it constructivelyl..."} {"id": "t3_40jlcn", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Not sure what the point to live is. A lot of problems.", "post": "I have had a very Rollercoaster like life. A lot of fun and good memories. Numerous health issues, broken hearts, and unsure thoughts of myself. I've never had a gf and pretty sure a lot of girls think I'm creepy. I dont know what I want to do with my life for a career or anything. I'm only 21. I also am a year from graduating college and I hate my major and don't want to finish. I'm a smart individual with a great memory, but my ability to literally live inside my head most of the time and not in the present affects my social and working skills. I also get periods of bad forgetfulness, where I can't remember how to do things or know things I should. I have negative self-esteem. \n\nI'm only 21 and I've dealt with type 1 diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, severe cystic acne whole body that required accutane, and I'm certain I have a couple mental disorders like dyspraxia or ADHD.\nMy fine motor skills are a bit off. I literally fear working because I don't want to get one of my forgetful episodes and screw up at work. \n\nI've dealt with a lot of pain and hurt. Constantly being rejected on the dating scene and looking more likely that won't change anytime soon. I don't see a future for myself because I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I'm trapped in a major I dont want anymore. I'm scared to work or do anything significant because I don't want my problems to affect my work and screw up and make myself look stupid. I am on 3 different medications and might need 4. I constantly imagine myself as someone else in a different world. Don't like life right now. \n \nThe only things that keep me happy are to hang with friends and watch sports.", "summary": "I'm not happy with my life for numerous reasons and wondering if life is worth it right now. I'm scared for the future and often reflect on the fun events of the past."} {"id": "t3_32vt9d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [23F] and I [25M] are 6 months in and we get bored of each other quickly", "post": "We see each other every day as we share classes together. Most days she'll come over to my place after class. I'm unable to come over to hers since she lives with her parents. Weekends we spend the nights together after work.\n\nSo we see each other. A lot.\n\nEventually we'd get bored of each other.\n\nBut there are days where we can't see each other. And when we see each other the day after, we're affectionate all over again.\n\nI know absence makes the heart grow fonder. But it worries me that we lose interest after some time. Does it mean we're incompatible deep down? Surely in the future if we move in together, where we'd be around each other more than we are now, we would be able to stand each other for more than a couple consecutive days.", "summary": "Girlfriend and I get bored after seeing each other too often. Worried it's a sign we're not compatible."} {"id": "t3_4vo6bg", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Insurance claim for $2,000 after minor accident? (My fault)", "post": "I'm a first time poster, long time lurker and I'm in a real pickle here, guys. A couple months ago I was in my first accident in which I rear ended an SUV going around 5 mph. I had no idea what I was supposed to do but apparently I was dealing with a professional because he immediately proceeded to call his insurance and had me on the phone with them. This is probably where I fucked up. I currently do not have any insurance because my father was recently laid off so I gave my fathers details (Insurance phone number, account #, etc) and got a call from my father's insurance afterwards, where they specifically told me not to worry about a thing. Six months later, here I am staring a $2000 insurance claim dtating that I have failed to respond to request that I furnish them with evidence of liability insurance.\n\nMy parents want to just pay but they are the type to back down from these types of things. What can I do?", "summary": "got into an accident a few months ago, I am uninsured, used my fathers insurance. Now I have a $2000 insurance claim from the other party because of"} {"id": "t3_k8i85", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need Job/Education Advice", "post": "My girlfriend is/was a student at a university studying something which she \"sorta\" likes. Her average wasn't anything too spectacular, splitting between Bs and Cs. Unforunately, she got 2 to 3 D grades and a E (Marginal fail ... Probably thinking: Really? yea that's what I thought too). Anyway long story short, she's dropped out of her program and unable to get back in so she's left to either switch schools or programs and do enough courses to graduate, neither of which is too appealing since it involves atleast 1 or 2 years of schooling. It really sucks because she's so close to being done her program (1 elective course left) and is really really close to the average cutoff (GPA of 4.8 and she needs 5.0 [out of 9]).\n\nShe's also gotten herself into two jobs at the moment. One is with a dealership (fulltime) and the other (a temporary position) is with a mining company. She hasn't quite started working yet, but she will be soon and personally, I think she should at least disclose that she's not a university graduate with the dealership since it is a full time position. I've also told her that she probably shouldn't work the position at the dealership since it's only an assistant/receptionist position and it's unlikely to bring her any relevant experience related to accounting or any valuable work experience outside of customer service and photocopying. But on the bright side she will have opportunities to network.\n\nNow obviously I know I'm not the smartest person out there and I have many biases, one of which is being that I believe a degree or some sort of post secondary qualification is necessary to achieve a modicum of financial stability. So tell me reddit, how important is it that my gf goes back to school asap and should she bother with taking the position at the dealership? Also any other advice is good. She has no idea with what she wants to do (though she has an excellent skill set imo: trilingual, pretty, smart, fast learner and virtually an accounting degree) or what she even wants (I know that she's just aiming for financial stability, which is weird since it's not like money is a problem for her).", "summary": "my gf dropped outta school, plans to work for 2-3 years at what is likely a deadend job and then \"maybe\" back to school. Not smart right?"} {"id": "t3_3vi5l5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Actual Final Update] Me [16M] with my Ldr gf [15(almost 16)F] of a few months, blocked me on steam and left a vauge last message", "post": "[So, I posted here a while back] saying I wouldn't update more than I already have but I found out a lot of information after my last post. This will be my actual last post.\n\nI managed to talk to her parents about it, and turns out, she really does have cancer. The actual term for the cancer she has is \"Chronic lymphocytic leukemia .\"\n\nNow, since I know that not everyone on reddit has a degree in med school and knows what it is, and the fact that i apparently cant link to mayo clinic, it is basically a type of cancer of the blood and bone marrow. \n\nThis is from mayo clinic. \"The term \"chronic\" in chronic lymphocytic leukemia comes from the fact that it typically progresses more slowly than other types of leukemia. The term \"lymphocytic\" in chronic lymphocytic leukemia comes from the cells affected by the disease \u2014 a group of white blood cells called lymphocytes, which help your body fight infection.\"\n\nHer parents have decided to do a Stem cell transplant, to try and help treat the cancer. But since I currently live 960+ miles away, there is nothing I know of that I can physically do to help her feel better myself. \n\nDo you guys know any ways, in which I can help her through this tough time? I wish I could visit her, but I don't have the money or am I able to even go out of school for long enough to do so.", "summary": "Girlfriend was not cat fishing, has leukemia. Need ways to help her cheer up and get through this rough time."} {"id": "t3_3kj9yu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 41M with my mentally ill brother 35M asked to help by his wife 40F", "post": "My sister in law \"Ann\" called me in tears last night and can't cope with my brother \"Tom\" any more. They have two young children and have been married for 16 years. Tom has a masters degree but can't keep a job. He has been diagnosed PTSD but I think there are other serious mental issues going on with him. He has extreme paranoia, has completely white hair, and has zero skills when it comes to money and interpersonal interaction. \n\nI flew Tom out here a few months ago to give Ann a break and to see for myself. He only stayed a few nights with me, borrowed a lot of money, and changed his flight to go back earlier than we had agreed. We didn't interact much. I definitely have to walk on egg shells around him. We didn't fight but we didn't communicate either.\n\nAccording to Ann, he is now getting worse. He refuses to admit a problem, his counselor seems to just validate him, and he is a financial black hole. Ann is having to do all the work as mom, dad, and breadwinner. I asked if she was concerned for her safety and she said yes. But she feels trapped.\n\nI am willing to fly my brother back out here to give my SIL a break. She said \"At least a month\" I'm not thrilled about inviting chaos into my life. I am a single dad, and have young kids at home full time myself. My brother is very suspicious of me and has made some pretty insane claims that I got him fired from several jobs and that I installed spyware on his computer and track him.\n\nI'm concerned my brother is not able to function in society and is a step away from homelessness. I love him. I don't know how to help. My mom had serious mental health issues, and I housed and provided for her for several years until it destroyed my own marriage and I had to put her in a nursing home. I also cared for my dad until he died of Alzheimer's. I feel like I am the \"responsible\" one and my other siblings are looking to me to step in yet again.", "summary": "I wants to help my brother and his family without causing any more chaos for my own self. How can I best help? "} {"id": "t3_3cmunv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (38M) am jealous of my wife (36F) of 6 months best friend (36M) who is also her ex husband", "post": "Wife (Amy) and I have known each other 2 years, we dated about a year then got married at the beginning of this year, I met her through an acquaintance (James) whose also her ex husband and her best friend when I came to work in their town.\n\nThey were married from 19 till 26 and though they divorced they have remained good friends ever since, they have a kid together, we'll call her J, she's 13 and a nice girl though she doesn't really acknowledge me much which is fine because the last thing I want to do is replace her dad or seem like I'm trying to take a key father figure role in her life. James is a pretty good cool guy. He dotes on his daughter and even though he and Amy are split up they're still close and this works well in regards to J who never feels like her life is torn in two due to parents fighting etc I would know because I saw it happen to a couple I knew from college.\n\nAnyway, I met Amy through James and all through dating they were cool with each other and I was never bothered, but now that we're married and moved in together, it strikes me just how much James is still in Amy's life, not just in regard to J but they're genuinely good friends who message each other a few times a week and have no problems meeting up to hang out etc There's no feelings on their part, James himself is remarried and his wife is good friends with Amy.\n\nI kind of feel like a dick because they have a good relationship in despite being divorced and having a teenage daughter but I also feel somewhat jealous and annoyed that they're close and are such good friends. I was fine with it when we were dating but now that we're married should they really still be so close?", "summary": "my wife's ex husband is her best friend, they have a daughter together, I met her through him, was fine with their closeness while dating but now that we are married I kind of find it inappropriate"} {"id": "t3_3kztbz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M 21] am looking for advice on how to deal with partners [F 20] relationship anxiety", "post": "About a week ago I posted about a girl I have been seeing and since it helped me blow off stress I figured I would ask for some general advice about relationship anxiety. \n\nBasically, the girl I am dating will go through cycles where we get closer, act like a couple and it is going great. Then this crippling anxiety hits her and she pulls back. She has said she does have feelings and thinks she wants to be in a relationship but is not sure she is ready yet. She has also said her biggest fear is of being hurt or rejected. \n\nHonestly, the stress of it all is making me consider ending it, since we are in a strange gray area, but I wanted to see if anyone had experience with girls like this. I want to have a talk with her and try to get her to face some facts, that we could work well together and that if she continues to push me away it will end badly regardless. Anyone have any opinions?", "summary": "Girl I have been dating has relationship anxiety and dealing with it is driving me crazy with stress. Want to try and make it work but getting fed up."} {"id": "t3_1v9ulj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] and my girlfriend [15/ F] together for 6 months have encountered a problem involving a [14 M] guy who won't leave her alone.", "post": "He will not stop bugging her (non romantically) and started spreading rumors at her school that I was 25. I confronted him (non threateningly) and simply told him to stop and he challenged me to fight him. I don't want to sound like a wuss but I know 100% I would dust him. I don't want to draw unessasary attention from police, etc. Also, I know for a fact he will not fight fairly either, most likely bring a knife, gang of people, etc. After telling him I do not want to fight, just stop talking to her, he agreed. The next day he resumed spreading rumors again and kept bugging her.", "summary": "Guy who keeps bugging girlfriend after she and I both told her to stop talking to her will not stop. After I co fronted him, he's gotten worse and wants to fight me (I would dust him)"} {"id": "t3_3sbuce", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I get my boyfriend to brush his teeth? (me/20) (boyfriend/23) dating for 6mos.", "post": "ok! so let me start off by saying that I hate nagging ): but I feel like that is all I do anymore to my boyfriend! For example, I recently found out that I am pregnant, therefor he has to clean the litter box out.. which he never does. so I have to remind him to do it often, which irritates him. \n\nBut my BIGGEST issue right now is that I noticed he hardly brushes his teeth. we have only lived together about a month, but it didn't take long for me to catch on that he doesn't brush his teeth. I had tried hinting to him that oral hygiene is VERY important to me, but that didn't work. \n\nI tried telling him to brush his teeth in the morning before he kissed me, but then discovered that he was only using mouth wash when I asked him to brush. \n\nI even talked to him about it! I said \"look, im not trying to be mean.. but you have to start brushing your teeth every day. it makes me not want to kiss you, and its just gross to not brush every day!\" he didn't really say anything back, he just nodded his head (I think he might have been embarrassed.)\n\n to make things WORSE, he was eating a turkey sandwich a couple weeks ago, I told him that the smell of lunch meat made me feel sick (pregnancy thing) .. after the sandwich I asked him to go brush his teeth bc I could still smell the lunch meat on his breath.. his response was \"well idk how, I just smoked a cigarette, cigarettes eliminate ALL bad breath.. but I will go use mouth wash.\" \n\nso I believe that he doesn't brush his teeth due to the fact that he thinks smoking cures bad breath.. I just don't know how to get him to start brushing without seeming like his mother or the most annoying girlfriend ever! its to the point where I don't even want to kiss him anymore.. there has to be a way to get it through his head that he HAS to brush.. im afraid if he doesn't start brushing soon that I will freak out on him.. that is just really gross to me!", "summary": "my boyfriend still doesn't brush his teeth after me suggesting better hygiene multiple times. I need tips on how to get him to brush his teeth without being rude."} {"id": "t3_2lir2j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (20M) need to find housing. My friend (21M) with and apartment is going to Afghanistan but not until a month after classes start.", "post": "I am on study abroad and am debating going back next semester to my home institution. \n\nMy best friends have a very cheap apartment that I would love to live at but my friend is not leaving for Afghanistan until mid February and our classes start mid January. The other kicker is that he wants to keep the lease because the military pays for it and use it for a little storage. (He doesn't have much stuff and I plan to spend most nights with my girlfriend (23F) of nine months anyway. \n\nMy girlfriend's roomate (21F) decided for one reason or another to find an apartment and live solo but can't terminate her lease which means my girlfriend will have a whole room to herself in a suite style dorm with two other girls who could'nt give less of a fuck about anything so they're not an issue. \n\nSo being that I just came back from study abroad and it's going to be very hard to find housing and my girlfriend has told me that I could definitely stay with her until my friend leaves anyway, is this a good idea or is it to risky? It's super cheap and I'm not gonna find another house that economical while I'm so far away.", "summary": "Friend leaving for Afghanistan, want to take his apartment, there's a month before he leaves while I need to be at school, girlfriend volunteered her house for me at least until he leaves. Is it too risky?"} {"id": "t3_2gq0hx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "Tifu by watching Requiem for a Dream", "post": "So I'm in my room, surfing on demand for something to watch. I have no life and I've seen almost everything, so I start watching this movie. For those unfamiliar with Requiem, it's what I would assume tripping heroin would be like. It's also really gross. At one point I realized that in greater interest or ever regaining the ability to unclench, I should turn this shit off. So I do.\n\nFast forward two hours. I'm in the kitchen. I am filling a water bottle out of my fridge (yeah, one of those classy ones, bitches). The ice maker drops some ice into the bin and makes a clatter. Those familiar to the movie might remember the jumping refrigerator. It would leap forward several feet from the wall when the mom was coming down. She was just tripping, and it wasn't real, but it startled her like 50 times, no lie.\n\nSo I start thinking, \"Fuck Fuck Fuck, the fridge is going to fall on me\"\n\nEverything goes dim. Little black dots form in the center of my vision and bloom outwards until I can't see. I'm taking small, seemingly futile steps away, but everything keeps getting darker. I feel the wall and know I'm just a step from being out of the room. I want to fall. I still can't see anything. Another step forward, I bash my head straight into the door. Searing pain, I felt short of breath, I'm sure my pulse was soaring. My vision began to clear while I was on the floor, but I got up again before it cleared all the way. I just wanted away. When I got back to my room I just hyperventilated until I calmed down. I still have no idea what happened. But I have this gash on my forehead and I don't know how to explain this to my date tomorrow.", "summary": "gingerly took a stroll to the watering hole. Had a panic attack and busted my head on some shit. It's ok, you can laugh."} {"id": "t3_3gf0fz", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I got in an accident while driving a motorcycle. Everyone tells me how lucky I was and that I should appreciate my life. I wished I had just died there on the road.", "post": "A few months back my girlfriend of five years broke up with me. We ended it on good terms and I was invited to her birthday party. I guess could just go stay one or two hours and leave. It was not so bad and pretty fun but I saw one of her friends who got really touchy with her. So I asked one of her friends if they were dating. \"You should ask her yourself\" but I could see a clear yes on her face. I finished my drink and leave.\nThe next day I met up with her and asked her myself. The result was, yeah, they were dating. Fuck it. I cut her out of my life.\n\nI got recently in an accident with my motorcycle. The accident itself was pretty bad. Someone went 50 mph over speed limit and hit me from behind. The next thing I know is that I woke up at the hospital. Everyone I talked to and who was kind of involved in that accident told me I should be dead. Fortunately, only my shoulder broke. I am not sad about the motorcycle or my broken shoulder. The only thing which really bothers me is that I saw my ex, while I was knock out, who also told me \"Everything will be fine. Don't be afraid.\" This though is burned into my brain.\nFrom the beginning I know it might be a stupid idea but I called her anyway. I wanted to take a walk and catch a little bit up but she was busy, i think.\n\nToday, while browsing reddit I saw a picture in which the girl look very familiar. Honestly, it was one of the gonewild subreddit. You couldn't see her face but she has the exactly same clothes and as well the petite figure. At first I thought it might be a coincidence then I looked up the submitted post from the user. I felt numb. I cannot believed it. She was never like that. In my entire life I never felt so devastating.\n\nI should feel happy about the fact that I survived without a bigger harm and embrace this chance but actually I wished I had just died there on the road. It would be less sorrow than living right now.", "summary": "I was in a serious accident but survived without a big harm. Saw my ex while being unconscious so she was back on my mind then I saw nsfw pictures of her on reddit. Wished I would be dead."} {"id": "t3_3nbaac", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with my ex [26M] 6 months?, coworkers/roommates/lovers/friends?", "post": "It's a long, painful story. Bear with me. \n\nFebruary 2015 I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. He cheated and I was over him long before the breakup, but finally all my good coworkers talked me into finding better. One coworker in particular. \n\nWe started harmlessly flirting around last Christmas, which developed into a close friendship and frankly an emotional affair, given that I was with my 5-year boyfriend. Anywho, knowing I could do better, I moved on and was very excited to start up with my coworker. To my favor, 48 hours after I left my boyfriend, my coworkers girlfriend left him. We were both single and ready to pounce on each other.\n\nFast forward one month and we've moved in together. Things are FANFUCKINGTASTIC. He cooks, I clean, we have fun, life is good. A few weeks later, he dumps me. It was convoluted and terrible. Given that we had JUST moved in together, we opted to stay friends and roommates. Work was tough but we survived. \n\nFast forward another few months of on again off again friends with benefits, and he asks me to leave. I've since moved out. It's been maybe a week that I've been gone and it's been horrible. I cry daily, and I'm struggling with lots of the details. We have so much going on between us, the flirting is still happening but we both know for the sake of our emotional health and job security, the sex cannot happen. Were shooting for friendship but it's extremely difficult.\n\nThe week before I moved out we were drinking and he admitted some hard truths; he had every intention of proposing to his ex, he still loves her but he's confused cause he loves me, too. He pushes me away cause he says I deserve better. \n\nThe love is still there between us. The chemistry exists. So I'm asking; do I wait for him to mourn his last relationship? Do I wait for his impending promotion so our relationship isn't against work rules? Or am I being a complete masochist who needs to let the whole thing go and find my happiness?", "summary": "He's struggling through personal things even though we still love each other. Do I wait him out or cut off the pain and move on? I'd really just like to talk the whole situation out more. :/"} {"id": "t3_1rhb5x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (21F) dating (20F) for 5 years now..and its getting complicated", "post": "I'm a girl. I've been with my girlfriend for about five years and I love\n\n her to death. This is the first girl I had been with or have even been\n\n attracted to. Other than that I love boys. We have been through\n\n some crazy shit and been fighting for our relationship since it had\n\n started. But lately I'm not sure how I have been feeling. I care about\n\n her so much but in my future I don't see it being her. I want to have\n\n babies in the future and I feel like I have been missing out on things\n\n like meeting new people. we have always hung out together 24/7\n\n and I feel like I don't have my own identity. how do I bring this up?\n\n how do I go about it? I don't know if this a phase or what to do.\n\n Just end it? I just don't wanna lose her completely. Because I know \n\nshe is head over heels in love with me. Has anyone else gone\n\n through this or have any advice? Should I wait it out?", "summary": "we have been dating for so long and im not sure how to figure out if that is what I really want or how to approach her about it?"} {"id": "t3_29s487", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [f/28] gf has suddenly become distant right before I [m/26] went on a family trip", "post": "We've been dating for one month and up until last week, she was very warm towards me. However, the day before I left to help my whole family move into a new city (two days drive each way), she became cold towards me.\n\nWhile friendly, she isn't flirty, responsive to my flirtations or has been warm towards me at all. My mom thinks it's because I missed an opportunity to meet her family (she mentioned that she wanted me to meet her family on a public holiday that passed while I was away a few weeks ago), is afraid I might leave, or I said something to hurt her. \n\nOf course she could have cold feet as it's a one month old relationship, but that's just me being negative.\n\nThat said, when I returned home, all of her toiletaries were gone from my bathroom. She had been looking after my cat for me while I was away, and it's a bit of a shock for me.", "summary": "What's going on? She wants to meet for coffee tomorrow. Am I being silly for thinking she wants to break up with me, or do I have valid fears?"} {"id": "t3_d67m2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit: I need advice on how to throw my friend's bachelor party.", "post": "So, I found out last night that one of my best friends is getting married. We don't see each other that much anymore (he lives in Boston; I live in California), but he's still one of my closest friends.\n\nI'm going to be in charge of the bachelor party. Now, I've never done this (I'm 27, all of my other close friends are still single), so I don't know exactly how this works. \n\nFirst issue: We're on opposite ends of the country. I'm going to have to fly out there for the wedding and presumably the bachelor party (I don't think he's going to want to do it in Vegas). I don't really know the other friends though, so it's going to be a little hard to make a coordinated effort. I know his brother; but, the brother is living out of the country and will probably just fly in and out for the wedding (and bachelor party). How do I set up a party when I'm going to have to just fly in for the weekend (maybe a day or two extra) since I work cross-country and don't really know the other groomsmen?\n\nSecond issue: Who pays? Am I expected to foot the whole bill? I assume I'm looking at least $2,000-3000 for the whole party, right? Do I split it with the other groomsmen? I'm not sure if he'll have just two or three groomsmen, or if there will be a big party of dudes.\n\nThird issue: What should I do for the party? I assume strippers and booze, but anything more specific? Anything instead of strippers and booze?\n\nFourth issue: If I'm in charge of the bachelor party, do I also get him and the Mrs. a wedding gift; or is my organizing the party my wedding gift?\n\nAny advice, Reddit?", "summary": "I have to throw my friend a bachelor party but we live on opposite ends of the country and I don't really know the other groomsmen. How do I do this and what should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2eibvj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my best friend [18 F] 7 months , thinks she is in love with another guy[17 M] . I really like her", "post": "Me and this girl have been very close friends for the last 7 months or so. A few months ago we told each other how we felt about each other, we kissed, but nothing else happened after that. I tried to be romantic more often, and try to express how I feel about her but nothing more would come out of it. I would ask her out but she says she doesn't want to risk our friendship. \n\nAbout 3 weeks ago she started talking to another guy. He is still in high school and me and my friend are not. She tells me she has know him for 3 years, and they're reconnecting so I think nothing of it. But when she would talk to him, she would act different. She would laugh a lot more, completely ignore me, tell him she misses him, and just hang out with him lot.\n\nOne night, we were on FaceTime when he called her phone. She muted me, turned the camera around, and put me on pause immediately. I'm completely confused but I try not to worry about it. After about 15 minutes she unmutes me and fixes the camera and takes me off pause. She's off the phone at this point. After about 2 minutes of silence she tells me she thinks she's in love with him. \n\nI am absolutely devastated, but I try not to do anything rash. She tells me they liked each other for 3 years. I ask her why she won't go out with him, and she says she doesn't know. I ask if he feels the same and she says yes. I want to ask her how she feels about me but I'm not sure if there is even a point. I really like her, and I hoped she still liked me, but I feel like all the time we spent together, the kiss we shared, the things we did for each other, the romantic gestures I tried, was just a waste. I am absolutely crushed and I don't know what to do.", "summary": "I like her, she likes me, but she thinks she is in love with another guy but they won't date. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_39f7k7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf (20/f) of 2 years and I (22/m) are clashing over things like space, alone time, and amount of time with friends. Any advice on what is \"normal\"?", "post": "My girlfriend likes to spend a lot of time together and has few close friends that she hangs out with. She doesn't seem to understand my need for alone time, especially since we started living together about 6 months ago.\n\nShe says she knows that things like \"distance makes the heart grow fonder\" are usually true in some way and that people need a bit of time away from their partners sometimes. She says that for her, being at work for 8 hours is her alone time. For me, work is work and isn't really the same as having some free time away from her. \n\nShe complains and says that spending more than 2-3 hours with friends without her is not normal. Sometimes I would spend 5-6 hours with friends maybe once a week. Am I weird or is that \"normal\"? She says that once people are in a serious relationship it's normal to spend almost all of their time together. I totally get that it's normal to see your live-in partner every day and be around them a lot, but as much as I love her, I can't see myself continuing to spend 90% of my non-work time with her. Even 60% would be better I think. \n\nShe's very insecure and doesn't seem to have her own interests. She also has some pretty bad anxiety and diagnosed with ptsd so she kind of fears people too. She likes to watch me when I play a video game for example, and I don't mind usually but when it's every time it's kind of weird. She says that 30 minutes of alone time per day should be enough, but I don't want to feel like my time is rationed. I'm not saying that I don't want to spend time with her at all, I really do enjoy most of our time together, she just doesn't seem to understand my needs. It feels like I'm her entire world and while that kinda sounds sweet I guess, it's really driving me crazy...", "summary": "girlfriend is clingy and won't give me enough alone time. she has no interests of her own and it's making me go crazy."} {"id": "t3_qvr50", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My ex-gf stalks my reddit & FB accounts ruthlessly and relentlessly. What are some ingenious ways to rid myself of her and/or troll her? Too many details inside.", "post": "Just like the title says. My sociopathic ex-girlfriend stalks my online presences, however benign, then badgers me about everything. I'm talking < 20 minutes after something has been said and she's howling for blood. Basically, she hounds me relentlessly, even after I've blacklisted her phone and several fake FB and email accounts. She checks out my main Reddit account constantly, then sends me shitty things about stuff I've posted or responded to. \n\nAfter taking an emotional nosedive when I discovered for the past year she's been seeing some kid 12 years my junior (I'm 34, she's 31), I've somewhat recovered and want to exact some semi-harmless revenge. My hope is that she'll eventually leave me alone, but I'm a fucking idiot and would drag my wang through broken glass to sleep with her one more time, and have. Can the pussy be that good, you ask? Fuck me, it really is. I can glorify it now that she'll not know this account, but holy shit, she's a sexual volcano. I wouldn't consider myself a novice or even intermediate status, so I'd like to think I know what I'm talking about (ha, hubris). \n\nShe's sabotaged two potential relationships with her fanatical tirades. Is an unabashed liar, cheater, emotional manipulator, etc. etc. Again. I am an idiot, I know. Aside from getting a restraining order, which I don't really have the time to spend in court, what can I do to rid myself of this succubus? I don't usually invite this type of drama into my life, and am struggling to understand my emotional dependence on someone so chaotic.", "summary": "Crazy ex loves fucking with me. Help me fuck with her. Or, tell me I'm acting crazy. Either way..."} {"id": "t3_1yd16m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 7 months, revenge", "post": "Before we first starting dating we were still making out/ I had fingered her in her bed the first weekend of her freshmen year. A few weekends later I had started making out with another girl and she ran off and gave her first blow job to my \"best friend\". We didn't talk for maybe 6 months after as that was clearly not cool with me. We eventually saw each other again in May of last year and rekindled what we had before, but I had no idea from \"best friend\" or her other than them making out, we eventually begun our relationship last July and made it exclusive and she told me about it maybe a month into the relationship when we had the who have you had sex with before me talk. Since we weren't dating I'm okay with the whole scenario, but the part that seems to still irk me is that she did it to get back to me and took it a step beyond for which she has \"no explanation for\". She has done nothing ever again like that, but am I overreacting/jealous that it wasn't me as her first or am I right to be dissatisfied with her because she purposely did it to hurt me and as much as I hate the thought of it you can't teach old dogs new tricks.", "summary": "Girl blew my best friend to get back at me, we started dating a few months after what should we do or should I just drop it?"} {"id": "t3_25lk9o", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Need a little advice regarding our elderly dog.", "post": "Our rescue [Lt. Ellen Ripley] has been showing her age lately. Actually for the last six months or so she has been going a bit downhill. Formerly very active and happy to play she's blind, deaf and now sleeps or spins in circles all day. She hasn't been able to hold her water or poops at all and we've been coming home to a nightly cleanup. Worse she's been biting at us a lot and seems to think our hands are actually delicious fish sticks. \n\nWe've tried medicine and have seen the vet numerous times but she just seems to be getting worse and worse.\n\nSo, advice time. Am I being selfish? I feel like keeping her around may not be the best thing for her anymore. I worry that she spends her time now scared, confused and in the dark. But so far as I know, she's not in any pain and she can still recognize me on occasion.\n\nI'll", "summary": "this for you, Dog is old now, losing control of her bodily functions etc. When is the right time to think about letting her take after that gravy bone in the sky?"} {"id": "t3_2nlxo0", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to hand shake a blind man who I obviously knew was blind.", "post": "So this actually did just happen 10 minutes ago....\nIt's thanksgiving and I'm at my Brazilian grandmother's house. Every year we have a lot of my grandmother's friends and family come over to visit and eat delicious food my grandmother slaves over all day long. no one has showed up yet so I decided to snooze off on the couch. The doorbell rang and woke me up which was good because that means people are showing up which means food. So the first people were a nice foreign couple. A middle aged women and a man who was holding one of those sticks blind people have. Now the man is not %100 percent blind. He was really nice and sweet. I decided to introduce myself to him and out of habbit I held out my hand... oh god.. he's blind and there's no Turning back.. everybody sees me do this, All of the family. The middle age woman (his wife) took huge offense to this and thought I was playing a joke.. on her partially blind husband.. they left just a minute ago.. I fucked up reddit.. I fucked up.", "summary": "grandmother's friends came over for thanksgiving. I tried to shake hands with a blind man and his wife got mad and they left."} {"id": "t3_2v7l1j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[24 M] dealing with my girlfriend's [25 F] crazy ex-husband", "post": "Okay, so I'm in an extremely complicated situation. My girlfriend has full legal and physical custody of her children because her ex-husband is a psychotic sociopath. \n\nThe guy has 5 hours with the kids every other Saturday and the visitation has to be done in her home. Every single time he is over there (if he shows up) he will lie to the kids in front of her to try and make her angry. Saying things like \"Tell mommy bye because she won't be seeing you anymore.\" Or \"Mommy is a bad parent isn't she?\" He will then try to take videos of her reaction (usually she doesn't react) or take pictures around her house of messes that happen while he is there to try and use them in court.\n\nThe guy doesn't pay his child support, smokes around them whenever he gets visitation outside of the house, never changes their diapers if he has them and one time didn't take the oldest to the E.R. when he needed to go. \n\nIs there anyone who has been in a similar situation? He's been stalking me lately and I've been taking pictures every time I've seen him to have proof if anything does happen. I'm positive he is planning something and he has threatened to steal the kids and take them out of country. \n\nI'm about at my wits end but I love my girlfriend and her awesome children. I'd do anything for them and that's what scares me.", "summary": "My amazing girlfriend has to deal with an insane, abusive ex-husband and I want him out of our lives or a positive way to deal with the situation. Legal professionals would be appreciated!"} {"id": "t3_epqmz", "subreddit": "books", "title": "Bought and am reading \"THE STAND UNCUT\" -- was that a wise move or should I have gone with the original?", "post": "I just started \"The Stand,\" by Stephen King. Wanting to get the whole deal, I bought the uncut edition.\n\nReading the novel's introduction, it looks like this edition has about 500 extra pages. THAT IS CRAZINESS. The copy I have right now is 1054 pages. Holy crap, that much more got added -- wow.\n\n**So has anyone read both the uncut and the much shorter original? If so, how do they compare?** I'm reading this now and just beginning to think \"this is long -- this is really, really long,\" and though I'm only 100 pages in a lot of these details don't seem that necessary. The whole introduction to \"The Stand Uncut\" basically is him saying \"this might be an indulgence.\" Thoughts?", "summary": "if you have read the two, did I make a mistake of getting this version of \"The Stand\" (plus your thoughts in general on the two editions)?"} {"id": "t3_2v89l4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [37 M] with my Wife [29 F]. I talked to my wifes brother and uncovered that he broke up with his g/f. I told him i'm not say anything, but...", "post": "So I talk to my wifes brothers fairly frequently as we're pretty close. He seemed a bit odd so I asked how he was. I could tell something was wrong and he said he was fine. We talked and I asked how he and his g/f were. He said things were good. I replied with \"Hmmm. Really?\" \"yes, everything is excellent\". Again I replied with \"For some reason, I don't think you're telling me the truth\".\n\nHe confessed they split up and laughed \"You must have some sixth sense\". My wife was talking to him too (We were on skype with him). The skype call barely ended when she called her Mom and Dad to sort of weed out if they knew. She didn't let on but immediately called her sister and told her that he seemed down and started mentioning He changed his FB picture and she wasn't able to find her on his Facebook. She checked hers and she was gone off her sisters FB too.\n\nHer sister put 2 and 2 together and now knows without my wife DIRECTLY telling her. \n\nHer take: She cares for her brother a lot (and she does) and wanted to get them to call him to cheer him up. She swears she didn't directly tell anyone. So she's free and clear.\n\nMy take: She never should have called her parents or sister and left it to him to tell them when he was ready. Now, they're going to ask about it. I feel it was overstepping her bounds. She disagrees.\n\nWe actually discussed this and just neither one of us can agree. So, help us, who is in the right here?", "summary": "Wife spilled the beans about her brother splitting with his g/f. I don't think she should have said anything and left it to him."} {"id": "t3_42je41", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 6 months, no intimacy in our relationship/stagnant intimacy", "post": "Hey everyone,\n\nI don't mean to bother any of you with this \"wow my girlfriend is so prude\" stuff, but there's a little more to it than that.\n\nSo here's some context. We've been dating for about 5-6 months now, and it has all been going great! However, our sexual life has sort of remained really bland after like month 1. The \"farthest we've gone\" is just making out. \n\nNow here's the dilemma. I personally think that intimacy is key in a relationship to bond both physically and emotionally and to get closer to your s/o in another way. The problem is that my s/o does not really agree to that, at least I don't think.\n\nSo here's the dilemma. When we're together and things are getting hot, I've tried to \"make a move\" with my hands by grabbing/feeling, but she always responds to that very uncomfortably and would move my hands away/stop kissing me, and frankly, make it extremely awkward and would just try to change the subject. So then I tried talking to her about it, and what she is comfortable with (My worst nightmare is to make her uncomfortable in any situation.) To this, she just replies \"I don't want to talk about it. You just need to go with the flow. Planning stuff is too artificial.\" \n\nNow you can kinda see where I'm at. If I try to \"go with the flow\" she'd stop me, but if I try to define boundaries, she changes the subject and doesn't want to talk about it.\n\nI obviously don't want a relationship centered around sexual stuff, but at the same time, it's incredibly frustrating the situation I am in. \n\nAny advice would be great. Thanks.", "summary": "Girlfriend wants to \"go with the flow\" sexually, but doesn't and doesn't like discussing/defining boundaries.\""} {"id": "t3_dwfpn", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Questions about a girl I asked out on a date - please help", "post": "I'm male, 17, and for about 10 months, I've known this girl who I developed feelings for over time. I'm naturally VERY shy, and as such, I haven't made any advances or anything of the sort, and have remained friends with her for the entire time. We used to not talk as much, but for the past month or two, I have been talking to her very much, and after much self-confidence boosting and contemplation, I decided to just go for it and ask her out on a date this friday, to see Paranormal Activity. This is the first time I have ever asked a girl out on a legitimate date, since my other times were \"hanging out,\" and getting to know a person.\n\nTo my surprise, she responded yes, but with a twist, I suppose. The other part of her response was that she's \"definetly not in the mind set to be in a relationship right now.\" I understand where she is coming from, from my perspective ofc, that she has many things to deal with, such as school and some issues with other friends who are, lets say, immature.\n\nHer type of personality, as I've known, is that she truly wants a working, real relationship, not a sexual one, which is what I want too. She doesn't hook up with guys, and she is very kind, honest, and knows how to make a person smile. :)\n\nThe questions I wanna ask are follows:\n\n-Is this a typical response, in that they are not yes/no, but a \"yes but ___\" response? Is there ever the possibility that there could be more, or should I not get too attached?\n\n-How do dates usually go? I'm super-inexperienced with dating. I'm shy, but I can talk to people I know, but sometimes not to people I'm really attracted to. =x I've only dated one girl, and that was one of those young highschool freshman flings, that didn't teach me anything. Do you guys and gals have any tips for me?\n\nAnything is really appreciated. I'm really proud that I finally stood up and asked someone out on a date, and it worked. :)", "summary": "My first time asking a girl out on a date, she said yes with an interesting \"twist,\" nervous about date and looking for pointers or anything."} {"id": "t3_1przll", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[23/m]Not sure if I want to break up with my girlfriend[23/f]", "post": "I have been dating my girlfriend for 2.5 years now (were 23) and for a few months now I have been very confused about what I want.\n\nThe main issue is that we work and live 5h away so we only get to see each other about once a month, sometimes less. Normally I could live with that knowing that it is only for a year or two. But whenever I am away I slowly fall out of love with her. I start having these thoughts of breaking up and such. Then when we are together we get along great, have a great time.\n\nAnother thing bothering me is that my physical attraction towards her is decreasing. I do not want to sound too superficial but I do not find her as pretty as I used to. I can't help it. I feel like I have sex with her just to make her happy.\n\nSometime I think I stay with her for the wrong reasons. I am afraid I wont find a girl I get along as well as her, I am VERY anxious about the idea of making her sad. I have actually tried breaking up with her a while ago and chickened out because of how sad she got.", "summary": "don't know what I want. I get along great with my gf, but I might not love her anymore."} {"id": "t3_2rz7eq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (f23) am going on a roadtrip/show with my ex (m26) tonight", "post": "My ex and I had a nasty relationship/breakup, but we still love each other and the same music. We're both seeing other people now, but we went out together for NYE and it was absolutely amazing so we decided to take a 4 hour drive to see a music producer we both like who's not from our country. \n\nWe have seen each other about 5 times since I moved out, but we did go 'no contact' for about a month. \n\nHow can I assure our trip goes smoothly? I know we aren't ready to get back together, but we are having sex again and both say 'i love you'. I want to keep my feelings separate and not lose my best friend of 8 years.", "summary": "have feelings for my ex know we aren't getting back together (i left him for many reasons cheating being one of them) but we are going on a roadtrip/date to a show and I want it to be fun and memorable"} {"id": "t3_51qdqr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21M] gf [21F] sometimes never replies to my texts", "post": "Let me elaborate. If I text my gf about something that happened or something I'm feeling, I don't care if she replies to it or not. But there are times when I text her regarding plans for what to do when we see each other and on multiple occasions she never replies. I would wait a day and a half but no reply. Sometimes she will text me a day after I sent a text and not even reply to my original text. I find it hard to believe that she doesn't see my text cause she's always on her phone. \n\nWhat's funny about this is that there was one time where I didn't text her all day (was busy with work). I texted her the following morning but she was upset that I didn't text her at all yesterday. \n\nShould I talk to her about this or am I just being whiny?", "summary": "I text my gf who would take a day and a half to text me and may not have replied to my original text. It happens more often than it should."} {"id": "t3_1vop9q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26F] with my bf [24 M] duration 8 months. At what point in a relationship should I be worried that certain milestones haven't been hit?", "post": "Hi Reddit! I'm looking for some insight into my relationship. Using a throwaway because my boyfriend knows my account name.\n\nI've been with my boyfriend now for about 8 months, so not terribly long. I want to first point out that I think my boyfriend is pretty great. He makes me laugh, we play, he's supportive if I'm having a bad day, we rarely get into arguments. We have a lot of the same interests and overall, I'd say we get along pretty great relationship and currently I don't really have any issues or complaints.\n\nHowever, I'm wondering at what point I should start being concerned about certain \"milestones\" not being reached? Things like meeting his family, and saying \"I love you\" are things that come to mind. While I do realize that everyone is different and reaches those points in their relationship at different times, there has to be some point in your relationship where, if those things haven't happened, you might start to wonder about the seriousness of your relationship right?\n\nCurrently, we are only at 8 months in so I don't think it's too bad that those things haven't happened, but as each week/month goes by, I do start to wonder if they are going to happen and I wonder if I should be worried that they haven't happened yet.\n\nIs there anyone that had a relationship where it took a long time for big things in your relationship to happen? How did it work out? I really want to have faith and trust that those things will eventually happen, but when I think about my last relationship, it took my ex over a year and a half to say \"I love you\" and he dumped me 3 months later, which led me to believe that he never really loved me and he was just saying because he felt like he should at that point. \n\nFor the record, also, I have talked with him a few times about meeting his family (he's met mine), and he says he's waiting for a time when it happens naturally (not sure if that's weird or not).\n\nSo what do you guys think? At what point should I be worried if certain milestones haven't happened?", "summary": "Been with boyfriend for 8 months. Haven't met his family and he hasn't said \"I love you\" yet. Seems ok for now, but at what point should this be cause for concern?"} {"id": "t3_3we97h", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "I fell in love with my best friend and its tearing me apart", "post": "A little back story, Ive known her for 6 years. Im 26 m, she is 24 f. We immediatly clicked, pretty much unseperable since then, she dated my best guy friend for 2 years, broke up with him, then started dating a douchebag, Shes been with him for 2.5 years. Lately things arent going well, he is really emotionally abussive. Severaly times shes shown up at my apartment at 2 am crying because of shit he does and says. At first I didnt want to have any feelings for her, I was doing awesome when she was dating my friend, then when she started dating douchebag I noticed changes in the way she makes me feel. We are the definition of star crossed, there is no way in hell anything between us would ever work, basically, I love her, I wish I could be with her, I daydream of us being together and me wanting nothing more than to keep her gorgeous smile on her face, but I know it wouldnt work out. Sometimes what keeps me going is knowing that in some alternate universe theres a version of me making her the happiest gal on earth. Its soul crushing when she asks for advice on what to do about him, I give her the most unbiased advice I can. I just make her happiness my priority and go from there. Im ok with the fact that she will probably never love me like that, at this point all I hope for is that she finds someone who can make her happy, and push her to make a better person of herself, but this guys not it, and its killing me. Its getting to the point where I am thinking about distancing myself from her, the heart ache is becoming unbearable, but at the same time I dont want to go away at a time when she really needs me.", "summary": "Fell in love with friend, I just want her to be happy, shes with a douchebag whos the opposite of whats good for her, feelings for her are making it hard to stick around or give unbiased advice."} {"id": "t3_1cwctt", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "She (21/F) left me (23/M) for not being mature or a man. I need help.", "post": "Alright so she left me on Friday and said \"I can't be with you right now, I probably shouldn't be with anyone right now\" There seems to be a chance that we could get back together if I prove myself to her. I've gotten my friends input and they all said to move on, but I believe she is worth fighting for and I have no idea how to show her my worth.\n\nShe felt bought because I sent her three packages over the course of the relationship, One for christmas, one because she wanted to play Monster Hunter, and the third was some monster hunter figures and a LED Portal core and she felt alone in the relationship because I didn't support her when her aunt was put into the hospital and for other times when her family was being evil. \n\nI'm seeing a therapist and talking with a lot of my friends. Any ideas how to win back her affections with out making her feel bought?", "summary": "She left, I want to be back with her, How to do it with out making her feel bought and showing that I'm there for her."} {"id": "t3_upzzx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the most unjust thing that you got accused for at school?", "post": "My experience still angers me when I think about it. This happened during my freshmen year in high school and currently, I'm a senior in college. \n\nSo it was about a month since I had started at the new school in a small town in NH. I was sitting at a lunch table with a few people I had gotten to know. \n\nAll of a sudden, there was a big splat right in front of me. Some idiot had thrown a pudding cup at our table. All the girls ran out screaming. Then another splat within a foot of the other pudding cup exploded. The lunch lady started screaming bloody murder and ran towards me. I guess she thought I had stomped the cups or something. The principle joins her and tells me to clean it up immediately. \nI said that I didn't do anything, I was just sitting there and they landed in front of me. The principle told me to clean it ASAP or I'd have detention. I stood up for myself and said that I wasn't responsible so I wouldn't do it. About 10 mins later, I was in detention.\n\n Nobody was questioned as to what really happened. I was just targeted for no reason. They called my mom, a physicist who knew that I wouldn't even harm a fly. They had left the pudding there so that she could see \"what I had done, and make me clean up the mess\". Luckily, the splatter was in such way that the most of the pudding was splattered in one direction. Both of the pudding splatters were splattered in the same direction. Thus the pudding was thrown and not stomped on. Let's just say that the principle apologized and turned very red.", "summary": "I got wrongfully accused about splattered pudding cups and got a detention before my physicist mom used her degree to prove the wrongful accusation."} {"id": "t3_c2v6l", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need some help Reddit. My sister sold things for me on Ebay and I think its a scam.", "post": "I'll keep it short and sweet. \n\n1. I had my sister sell some $2000 hand scanners (like Fedex uses) for me on ebay. \n2. She handled the details, using her ebay account. The buyer is in Ukraine and had 200+ good reviews. I was hesitant but I trusted her call on it.\n3. He paid, I shipped them and after two weeks the guy said he didn't receive them.\n4. I called US Postal Service and put a trace on the package to see where it was, they said they'd get back within 60 work days (they haven't yet.)\n5. The guy then said they arrived but were on hold because I had put their value on the shipping slip. Apparently the Ukrainian government held it, so he had them ship it back.\n6. Now he says I'm to ship it back and put the value on them to being $200. I have a problem with this. I don't lie. Especially not on government forms or in general. I am an eagle scout. \n\nAny suggestions from anyone *with experience* on what to do? I am hoping one of you might work at eBay or paypal and can let me know what this process is, if there is any protection for sellers? Will I have to give the money back no matter what? Is there investigation like the Postal Service did? can I use that as evidence?", "summary": "I love my sister and even if she lost me a chunk of money, Reddit should know. edits: I suck at markdown."} {"id": "t3_2l3jam", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by flooding my work bathroom with poop water", "post": "I should have taken a shit before work, but for some reason I never have to go until I get to work. I didn't even have time to put down my belongings at my desk, I literally just went straight to the shitter and dropped a huge turd with a fellow coworker in the stall next to me. What happened next will haunt my dreams forever. The toilet's water pressure is bad enough as it is, and combine that with a huge turd and mass amounts of toilet paper I try to flush, and it clogged badly and water from the toilet started overflowing onto the floor. All of this is happening while a coworker is in the stall next to me, also ankle deep in my shit water. The coworker yells loudly and quickly exits the bathroom yelling a bunch of profanities. Mortified, I devise a plan to get back to my desk so no one will see who was responsible for this mess. As soon as I exit the bathroom, a custodian and at least 5 coworkers are standing outside wondering what the hell happened. I tried to play it off like it wasn't my fault, but I know deep down that I did wrong. I'm too embarrassed to even show my face at work tomorrow.", "summary": "Took a monster dump, clogged my work toilet and flooded bathroom with a coworker in the stall next to me."} {"id": "t3_2am35n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've (21M) been thinking about my Ex (20f) from years ago, even though I love my current girlfriend (21) and don't understand why.", "post": "So as the title says, I've been thinking about her. I'll call her Girl A. We dated years ago while I was finishing high school and during my first year of college. We were together for about 10 months. It was a good relationship, but it isn't what I'd call sophisticated. This was before I had a car of my own. Other obstacles prevented us from having a deeper relationship, our age being the biggest one. I didn't really look at these factors until recently. \n\nI met my current girlfriend during my first year of college and we hit it off immediately. I'll call her Girl B. During this time, I started to feel distance between me and Girl A. She was into performance arts and spent most of her time with her theater friends, and that was a problem for me. I broke up with her. A few weeks later, I asked Girl B out. That was almost 3 years ago. \n\nThroughout my relationship with Girl B we have had some problems here or there. But we worked through them. About 7 months ago I almost broke up with her because I wasn't feeling as strong. Since then, things have been better than ever.\n\nThe crazy thing is, the past month or so Girl A has been on my mind. Just typing this hurts because I love Girl B so much. \n\nA small part of me wishes I could give Girl A another chance, or at least have the option to, but the bigger part of me loves my current girlfriend. I feel like me and Girl A didn't get to a far enough level in a relationship, like it was cut short. \n\nI haven't seen, let alone talked to Girl A in at least a year, so I don't know why these feelings are hitting me now. \n\nAny input is appreciated. If you guys have questions I'm happy to answer them. Thanks.", "summary": "Currently dating a great girl and love her very much, but thoughts of my ex girlfriend have been haunting me lately. Why am I feeling this way???"} {"id": "t3_46vh4l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [33 M] with my wife [28 F] of 5 years, infidelity...what do you think of having her tell her best friends what she has done rather than get a divorce?", "post": "I have been married to my wife for 5 years. In the past, while we were married she was unfaithful with a complete piece of crap human being. From what I can gather she went after a \"bad boy\" type because I am too normal and responsible. \n\nAfter that she promised never to talk with him or have any contact with him. \n\nWhile on work trip I discovered a facebook chat conversation between then saying some pretty messed up things. I confronted her about it and again she is apologetic and says it will never happen again...\n\nThere was never a consequence the last time for what she did and I don't feel like she will keep her word his time without something to persuade her.\n\n What do you think about printing out the conversation she had with him and making her show a couple of her best friends so they know what she did? \n\nI have also made it very clear that if there is any contact what so ever between them again that I will ask for a divorce. I want her friends to know that as well.\n\nIs this a terrible idea? \n\nI'm sorry about the crappy writing, I'm actually a really well versed and educated person, I'm just not thinking completely straight at the moment.", "summary": "Wife cheated 3 years ago, had a dirty conversation with him again yesterday. Should I make her show her friends what she did?"} {"id": "t3_dy2zp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A younger friend was diagnosed with situational depression and asked me to be his mentor. What advice do you have for when we hang out?", "post": "I'm currently a junior in college and am part of an (christian affiliated) organization that hangs out with high school kids. A new kid started coming recently that I could tell right away was a little shyer than others. Tonight he told me that he was recently diagnosed with situational depression and was wondering if I could be the older guy he can hangout with, talk with, and rely on. \n\nDone deal, I'm honored.\n\nWhat advice do you have, Reddit? I can already tell we have a lot of the same interests (nerd stuff), but what do I really **need** to tell him or let him get off his chest? I assume to just straight up listen is step one, but there has to be some y'all who might have been in the same situation as him and know what I should say. Thank you.", "summary": "What advice do you have for me with I hang out with my younger (highschool) friend who has situational depression?"} {"id": "t3_qllaf", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I always seem to psych myself out....! :-\\", "post": "Hi guys/girls,\n\nI'm not entirely sure if this is the right section for the post but wasn't sure where else to put it. I am a 26 year old male.\n\nI'll start by saying I recently got out of a 7 year relationship about 8-9 months ago, so obviously since I was in a relationship since I was 18-19 I'm not too experienced with the \"dating world\". I'm usually a fairly shy guy and not the best socially but definitely not the worst most social situations.\n\nSince my LTR ended I've met a few new girls, one was a FWB arrangement that went on for a few months and mutually ended. Since then I feel like I'm ready for something a little more and maybe even another relationship if the right person comes along.\n\nSo I've got a few girls numbers over the last few months to arrange to meet up for a date but every single time I get a number I seem to overthink everthing and I psych myself out from contacting them again.... I think things along the lines of I won't really know what to say or how to keep a good conversation going in a 1 on 1 situation with a girl that I hardly know.. So I just don't bother calling/messaging them and by the time I want to it's way too late :-\\\n\nThat has happened 3 times now....\n\nAny tips/advice to help me overcome this?\n\n(Sorry if it doesn't make complete sense, wrote it on my phone from work)", "summary": "I always psych myself out from contacting a girl after getting a number by automatically assuming that I won't have anyhting to say and things will just be awkward."} {"id": "t3_40lz7l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] am having difficulty holding friendships and I think it's because I come off as fake?", "post": "Alright, well for most of my life I've pretty much been one to only hang out with like 3-4 people at a time since I've never really been one to have too many friends. Well, I just started my first year of college this year as a Freshman and have been trying to change that. \n\nI basically reached out to a bunch of people that I knew who went to my university through a blogging website. We've met up several times, had dinner, but the relationships/friendships never seemed to go anywhere. We would usually have dinner once or twice and then it would end right there. \n\nBy end, I mean, they would \"unfollow\" me from the blogging site, Snapchat, and ignore me. I don't think I ever did anything wrong to begin with. Even my close friends agreed that I was polite to these people and they're not sure why they decided not to keep in touch.\n\nWhen I step outside and look from a different perspective, though, I can see how I can maybe come off as \"fake\". Me, personally, am very outspoken about my opinions and I don't usually have too much of a filter. While I'm aware of this, I think whenever I meet new people, I try to repress that side of me and thus, I come off as \"fake\". \n\nI'm usually over polite, I make too much small talk, and I ask too many questions in an attempt to not show my \"true\" side since I feel like most people may not like it.\n\nSo, I can either be my true self (loud, opinionated, funny, no filter) and lose friends that way or I can be my \"nice/fake\" self and continue to lose friends like I'm doing now..\n\nWhat to do?\n\nP.S. Is this normal in college? The making friends part? Does it take a while?", "summary": "I'm having difficulty keeping friendships in college with new people because I feel that I come off as \"fake\" in an attempt to repress my true self."} {"id": "t3_20sd8q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (M/24) girlfriend (F/23) is trying to convert me into a Muslim, would like some insight on this.", "post": "Hey /r/Relationships! This is an obvious throwaway account. I'll try to post as much detail as possible.\n\nSome background, when I was little, my parents raised me as a Catholic. But as I grew older, I did not associate myself with any religion. I am **not** against any religions, in fact, I have a very open view on all religions and I appreciate everyone's opinions and faith.\n\nToday, my girlfriend asked me to convert into a Muslim. At first I thought it was a joke, because her and her friends would always joke about me becoming a Muslim. But I found out she was being serious and I wasn't sure how to respond but to say \"I can't.\"\n\nI also want to say that before we started dating, we made an agreement that I will not convert and if that is something that will get in between us, I don't think a relationship would be a good idea.\n\nAnyways, she goes on and on about why I should. So I asked her, why all of a sudden she's asking me to convert. She says that before we get any further into our relationship, her parents wants me to convert.\n\nNow, I really love this girl, but I don't want to convert for the wrong reason. I keep telling her that if I converted, it'd be for the wrong reason. (I've been told that converting for your wife is not a good idea. Something along those lines.)\n\nSo what do I do? Is there anything I can do to compromise?", "summary": "Girlfriend/Girlfriend's Family wants me to convert into a Muslim. I don't want to. Any way I can compromise?"} {"id": "t3_1bysxs", "subreddit": "running", "title": "I'm getting slower even with lots of training, please help", "post": "I began running in 8th grade track, and quickly became the fastest runner on the team, with a 5:18 1500 and a 2:31 800. Then I went to high school, where I did cross country, and started at 20:00, and got down to a 19:18 in the middle of the season, then went back up again, finally finishing at 20:05.\n\nThen I did track that year, and I was pretty happy with my times. They moved at a steady crawl downward, with a 5:18 mile, 11:39 3200, and 2:26 800 at the end of the season.\n\nI came out of that season determined to do likewise for cross country. So that summer, I ran every day, putting in 30-40 miles per week over the whole summer (with a few 2-a-days). First day of practice, I got 15:22 on our 4k time trial course (It's really hilly). I was really happy with that. My first 5k time was 18:31, then steadily got worse until it steadied at about 19:30. After the last meet, I was devastated.\n\nOver the winter, I again ran every day, and switched to minimalist shoes in December on the advice of a friend. I liked that a fair amount, got my calves stronger. Then track started and I was waaaay behind where I should have been. As in, times slower than eighth grade, when i first started running. I switched back to regular running shoes earlier this week, hoping it would make a difference, and I got my 800 back down to 2:33. But the 16 and 32 today were just so awful I need to figure something out. 6:00 and 13:30. Does anybody have any ideas to help me?", "summary": "I've always been a good runner, but even after lots of training, I'm getting slower and slower. Any ideas?"} {"id": "t3_1wj9hu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Help! Someone keyed my car last week, managed to get ahold of video footage but it's not completely clear. I know 100% who did it, what to do now? :(", "post": "Last week, a valet guy came up to me and yelled at me/my mom saying we didn't have \"his permission\" to park. I had entered and the valet booth was vacated, so we just parked wherever. He came storming into the restaurant, screaming, demanding that we give up our keys or otherwise he would call the police. Obviously I wasn't about to be threatened by this guy, so I told him that if he didn't want us to \"park without his permission\" he should be doing his job properly. He stormed off in a rage, when I came home my car was keyed. I managed to get some poor quality footage from the restaurant which very unclearly shows him at the back of my car, although I can't see him keying my car with certainty. I know 100% it is him after seeing this footage. The footage isn't good enough for a police report. I don't know what to do; the damage to my car was pretty bad :( someone's suggesting at least $1000+ to fix the scratch.", "summary": "guy keyed my car, have poor footage that isn't going to help with a police report/arrest. what to do?"} {"id": "t3_2ie8a1", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "17/m(me) and 17/f feel like more than friends, but not involved romantically.", "post": "So me and this girl have known each other quite a while and ive had times where I thought I was in love but then said nah because I think we have such an amazing friendship and I don't want to ruin it. \n\nBut we hold hands, we tell each other we love each other and we hug and its awesome but we don't call each other best friend and we don't call each other bf/gf. Nor do we kiss. We acknowledge that the other is attractive etc and I really enjoy her company but...\n\nI just don't know what we have. Are we romantically involved with each other or are we just friends? Is there any in-between?", "summary": "17/m and 17/f hold hands and hug and tell each other they love each other but dont consider themselves friends nor bf/gf"} {"id": "t3_yzk4x", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Need advice on an ex girlfriend and how to approach it.", "post": "My girlfriend had broken up with me. Things didn't work out. It's been a few months and I still see her fairly often. I pick her up from whereever, sleep at her house all the time etc. However she doesn't want to pick up the pieces and continue forth as she isn't ready, which is fair. School started and I'm scared we will drift apart, that my role in her life would become merely a fond memory of the past. I cant seem to move on myself. I tried many times. Ended up sleeping with multiple women but I cant shake the thoughts of her. She was perfect for me. We work so well together. How can I get her to sway back to me in the ways I had before?", "summary": "Had an ex gf, cant get over her still huge part of each others lives. School started. Fear of us drifting apart. Want something back in the form of romance."} {"id": "t3_1cpk9k", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I'm sick of your shit.", "post": "Do you know what the difference between your four year degree and mine is? I submitted a thesis to graduate and you did student teaching and took some certifying exams. I am no less qualified than you. I am no dumber than you, and yet I get paid a third of your salary and you feel like you can shit on me day after day because you're a certified teacher. I don't care that much about the money because I'm doing what I love, but I deserve some goddamn respect. Don't act surprised every time I make an intelligent comment, don't make pot shot jokes about how I'm a para, you fucking dick.\n\nOh, you say, \"You're one of the good ones.\" Because that makes it fucking better that you're essentially calling my job worthless and saying an idiot could do it? Fuck you for making me feel insecure, fuck you for making me feel like the bad grammar in this stupid fucking rant somehow proves my worthlessness. And I AM going to fuck you over. I'm filling two positions because the district won't pay someone what they're worth and you can't find anyone to hire. I'm going to fucking quit, and then where will you be, you giant gaping asshole?", "summary": "If you want to hire someone with a BA don't treat them like shit and pay them with dirt. I'm tired of thinking of the kids."} {"id": "t3_4sd89r", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Miss work and finish school early, or push back graduation by about a year?", "post": "Hey everyone,\n\nSo to start off, my GF and I's financial situation is relatively good. We make comfortable money and live a relatively comfortable life. I also have enough money saved up to graduate so that's really not a factor. Here's my dilemma though:\n\n**Option A:** I can choose to continue working my full time hours, going to school at nights Monday-Thursday and working during the day, however I'm looking at a graduation date of December 2017/January 2018.\n\n**Option B:** I take half days, possibly miss full days of work, but have a graduation date of January 2017, followed by a significant raise from work.\n\nTaking option A, my life will go on as it is, no changes in finances, but just extending the PITA that is college. Taking option B, money could get tight, probably call for a lifestyle change, but we could make it work. Of course, I'd make my schedule up to miss as little work as possible, but it's hard to plan ahead with my school as far as I'm trying to. Also, option B allows for me to get a good raise from work sooner.\n\nWhat do you think?", "summary": "Stay in my current financial situation, graduate in a year and a half **OR** make less money, but graduate with a raise in 6 months"} {"id": "t3_2glpzq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] was broken up with by my boyfriend [28 M] of 9 months, though we both love each other.", "post": "We were happy, no problems. We got along great, made each other laugh, and said \"I love you.\" When asked for a reason, he says he's not ready to fall in love again (he was crying) after a hard breakup many years ago. I tried to tell him I wouldn't hurt him--that I'd be patient, but he \"just can't. I'm sorry. I thought I was ready.\" He pursued me. But that I'm \"wonderful, perfect, everything I could ask for.\"\n\nShould I be patient? He's a good person, and I think he's doing this to protect himself. Not even my best friends see any red flags in him except for misgivings about this breakup. \n\nI've been hurt many times by complete jerks, and he's not one of them. Also, we bring out the best in each other.", "summary": "I've never met someone that makes me feel so loved, but should I be patient while he sorts through his issues and continue to be open and understanding? "} {"id": "t3_unvav", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Dentists, is this normal?", "post": "My daughter is 3, and went in for a dental exam a few months ago. My wife, today, asked me if it was okay for her to switch my daughter to our regular dentist, instead of using the pediatric dentist. I asked her why she thought we needed to switch her. \n\nShe explained that when she took our daughter to the pediatric dentist, they told my wife she wouldn't be allowed to come back with our daughter for the exam. She said they insisted on taking my daughter back to the doctor alone. \n\nMy wife and I have both been exposed to child abuse issues. So, the second she told me about that, I said 'No, we're not taking her back there again, go ahead and switch her'. \n\nHonestly, I'm not taking her back regardless of your comments on the subject. However, I'm wondering if we're being over-protective. Is that something pediatric dentists do? \n\nThe whole thing set off red flags for me. I even was a bit angry with my wife for allowing her to go in alone even once.", "summary": "Pediatric dentist insists on seeing his 3yr old patients alone, and will not allow the parents in the examination room. Is that an accepted practice?"} {"id": "t3_4zxi6h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24M] have no idea what to do with her [19F]", "post": "Last September, I met the sister of a boy I trained in a basketball team. I liked her immediately. This June I found her on FB and right after trainings are finished, I added her, so I don't have to seen her and have awkwardness if she didn't accept me. She did accepted me, but she had a bf. I backed off, I respected that. But she started to talk to me, and we ended up talking all day for 10 days and we used to talk on the phone 3h every night. She said she liked me too that September but she thought I was too beautiful for her, just as I thought about me and her. Also she said that they were done b4 we start to talk and when she returns from vacation, she'll break up with him. 3 days before she returned she said that she feels awful for what she is going to do to her bf and she wants to push it through the limits with him. And if they break up, they will. She said that she wants us to continue talking, she really likes me as a person, and she wishes we had a better timing in that. Yesterday I closed temporarily my fb for an unrelated reason, and after 3d of silence and no communication she called me at 2am, probably to ask me why... I didn't answer and I don't know what to say to her tomorrow, bc I must call her... \n\nI really really like her, I feel like dead inside from this roller coaster of emotions I had... I want her with me, and Im in a dead end. I don't know what the right thing to do, stop talking to her or continue talking to her and wait til she breaks up?\n\n\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500", "summary": "Having doubts about pushing a girl break up with her bf or stop talking to her because she probably likes me as much as I like her"} {"id": "t3_2a6j57", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16 M] was reminiscing with my ex [16F], about having rarely kissed. She said she would like to give me a proper kiss one day. She is currently in a relationship [17 M], since February, and asked her boyfriend if she could kiss me. I wasn't aware of this and now he believes she wants to cheat.", "post": "This all happened around 20 minutes ago. She and I were sharing some particularly romantic memories. She and I separated badly but grew closer after distancing ourselves. \n\n We now share a very good and much more appreciative, albeit platonic relationship. She and I often talk about out past relationship and where we are in our lives now. I still feel for her but I recognize that she has moved onto other things and have no desire to endanger her relationship by making advances. \n\n What happened was she told me that she'd like to give me a proper kiss and I said I was flattered and I would honestly like to but I don't want her to do anything she will regret. She then went on to ask her boyfriend. I didn't know she would but she told me about 5 minutes later what happened and she told me it was a horrible mistake. I agreed but now her boyfriend is very scared and thought we were engaging romantically behind his back. \n\n I have and always will be entirely against infidelity and unfaithfulness but she and I have a fairly loose and progressive view on relationships and etiquette (kissing as a greeting, threesomes, etc). \n\n Now her boyfriend is demanding she sever any communication with me. I am ok with this if it means reassuring him and allowing her to regain stability in her relationship. How can she remedy this situation, while being honest and clearing up the emotions of it all?", "summary": "Ex asked if her boyfriend if she could kiss me, without my knowledge, after talking inappropriately. Now he is immensely suspicious of she and I, and justly so. He demands we cease talking."} {"id": "t3_y76ib", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Banking question", "post": "My parents started a bank account for me when i was maybe 14, since then i put the usual things like birthday money and Christmas money in it. when i was 16 i got my first job and worked for two years.\n\n I had to deposit my checks into that bank account since i was not old enough to create my own yet. now i have saved up several thousand dollars and was planning on floating on that money until college was over. My parents on the other hand will not give me access into the account.\n\nI have brought it up with them that if they want me to live without them giving me any money to get by on i need access to that account. (they have always been anal as hell about me having any money, my mom has major control problems)\n\nNow here is my problem, before hand i had maybe 400 dollars from two years of birthday and Christmas. After i got a job that number went to over 10,000 dollars. 10,000 dollars that i cannot touch with out her say so and that is now bothering me to end. If i went to the bank and sat down with them is there any way i could get that money out of that account and into my own personal account i set up when i turned 18.\n\ni know that it seems like a long shot since i do need her with me, but if we pulled up my deposit records from work that have all of my information on it is there some way i could get my money back.", "summary": "Worked for two years to save up money for college, mother wont let me access it now that im starting college. (or you know you could read it)"} {"id": "t3_3fk3ed", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my GF [24F] of 5 years (living together for 2) have very different sex drives and have no clue what to do about it.", "post": "Alright guys - hoping that I can get some helpful advice here because I'm really struggling.\n\nI'm 25, my gf is 24. We met in college, have been together nearly 5 years (not married yet, and I'm very on the fence about whether or not that's where we're headed), and have lived together for the last 2. My situation is a bit odd - she absolutely loves sex. Whenever we have a chance to do it, it's on. \n\nOutside of sex (and I mean actual PIV intercourse), she has 0 libido, 0 desire to be intimate in any way. She had to have an operation \"down there\" at one point which meant we couldn't have sex for 2 months, and in that time we basically never did anything sexual - there was one time that I feel guilty about because it took a lot of convincing on my part. She also has had to change birth controls multiple times this year so far, and each time it messes with her hormones and she ends up on her period for 2-3 weeks out of the month. Same store each time - if we can't have sex, nothing is going to happen.\n\nI don't like thinking about it this way, but everything leaves me with the impression that she's extremely selfish in the bedroom. I've always been a bit of a giver - I'm generally not just happy, but eager to go down on her and I legitimately enjoy it when she gets off - to the point that sometimes when she's on her period I'll still do things to get her off, and she almost never returns the favor (at most, once every 3-4 months). On the flip side, if she's out of commission for one reason or another though, there's nothing I can do to get her in the mood to fool around at all. I hate the cliched \"I have needs too\" statement, but it's true. \n\nI don't know what to do - I really, really love her and love being with her, but the lack of intimacy leaves me feeling more often than not that she's more of a great roommate than a romantic partner.", "summary": "My sex drive and willingness to take care of her needs is significantly disproportionate to hers, and I don't know what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_12n1zi", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Me [M/19] and ex gf [f/19], more experiences?", "post": "Background: so after not seeing my gf for 1 year because she wanted to have more experiences, she comes back and it all blew up in her face. \n\nNow: we hung for a 2 months as friends and It developed into a relationship. She said she was falling in love with me and everything was right in the world. 2months later her sisters bf broke up with out of the blue and her parents became \"antiboy\". She told me that we should tone it down because of her parents. I agreed and we rarely saw each other after that. I confronted her about the lack of actual contacted and asked her if we even were going out. She said not really and she said that she might like her lab partner, who she claimed before that he was just a friend, and wants to have more experiences. What the hell does that mean?! Is this an excuse to whore around?", "summary": "gf(now ex) wants to have \"experiences\" again, don't know what that means or how to cope with being played with."} {"id": "t3_2rcl7a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Was she [18F] sparing my [19M] feelings?", "post": "I've gone out on 3 dates with a girl I really like. Out of the blue, she texts me that it's not gonna work out for her. She said that I'm a nice guy and she doesn't wanna lead me on/hurt me (she says she's done it to others before). That she's realized it's not gonna go anywhere for her and she can't commit to things. I haven't brought up commitment, seeing as we have only gone on 3 dates, so this threw me off. \n\nEverything seemed to be going so well, which is why I'm having a hard time accepting this. When get back to school from winter break I want to meet up with her and just talk. I can't tell if she's legit (in which case I'd like like to try and fix things) or if she's just trying to spare my feelings. I know it's just been 3 dates but I really like this girl.", "summary": "after 3 dates, girl texts me saying it's not gonna work out for her. She doesn't wanna lead me on and says she can't commit to things. She says she has done it to others before."} {"id": "t3_15jslq", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Need Perspective.", "post": "So, we're both fifteen. I've been liking her for a year now. We hit it off so well. We text all the time, and we're best best friends. I told her i liked her about around June. I told her in person. At the time, she liked my best friend. But, he's not a threat. To make a long story short, we both like each other. We both enjoy each others presence and we genuinely like each other. But, we're not dating. Why? Because she says she doesn't want to go again her mothers wishes. What are her mothers wishes? She doesn't want her to be dating anyone so she wouldn't be distracted from school. Thats the main reason why she won't date me. I want to date her, and I'm sure she wants to date me, but she won't. Because of her mother. And, i don't know what to do. I feel like I've tried so hard to get her to like me. So, I'm asking you reddit on what to do. I really like her, but i feel like I'm chasing pavements. I need help/advice. Thank you for reading. Any help would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "I've been liking a girl who likes me back for awhile but she doesn't want to date me because her mother doesn't want her to date. "} {"id": "t3_24mjwy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21/M] Ex [22/F] has emailed me out of the blue. How does one respond to something like this?", "post": "Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble. I just want to make sure anyone who gives an answer has enough context to help if they can:\n\nA year ago, a girl I was really into dumped me and strung me along for a while after that. Now she's sent me an email simply saying \"How have you been?\" I feel this is inappropriate for two reasons. First of all, the break was really bad. We both said some pretty hurtful things and I was definitely the one worse off for it. I've spent a lot of time trying to be more emotionally open to relationships since then, and it's always failed miserably. She, on the other hand, has been dating another man since two days after we officially broke things off. Secondly, for the last 14 months she, at least, has been content to pretend as though I don't exist. Any time in passing we've seen each other, for instance, would be as though a complete stranger had walked by me. I can't deny that it hurt a little, because of course it does, and this email just reminds me of all the hurt I felt. \n\nI am at a loss of how to handle this. I feel like she's definitely sending this because she's graduating and not because she actually cares about my feelings. She was never shy about having me aroundto comfort her after the breakup/whatever she said she was going through and then tossing me aside once a new guy was in the mix. I was totally used and completely devastated. \n\nShould I email her a brief update tomorrow morning? What has anyone else's experience with this been? Is there any way I'm not looking past my old hurt and being stupid by NOT wanting to respond? Is there actually a healthy solution to this that I'm possibly overlooking because of my feelings? I don't want to regret doing nothing, but then again I'm afraid this could just open up old wounds, and I really don't want that.\n\nThanks for reading if you made it this far! I really appreciate any and all advice :)", "summary": "Ex emailed me out of the blue. The break-up really damaged me and I'm not sure if responding is a good idea. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_h93qa", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What jobs should I apply for?", "post": "I recently graduated with an M.A. in English Composition and Rhetoric with an emphasis on technical/professional writing. From my numerous jobs, internships and volunteer positions I actually have several years of experience with event planning, managing a team, fundraising, doing research and analysis (in both academic and business settings) and professional writing and editing (I have written several grant proposals, training manuals, press releases and other documents for real-world implementation and I have edited or assisted on several national publications). \n\nI love planning events like academic conferences or charity galas, but I can't imagine a life of primarily planning weddings and sweet 16 parties. I have applied for a few event planner jobs at local universities, but they are few and far between and the competition is fierce. I have also applied for jobs doing technical writing or corporate communications/PR, and some research analyst positions, but again these seem hard to come by. I would love to work for a non-profit, but none in my area are hiring right now (though a few have said I will be their first call if they ever do hire, because I already volunteer for them and they know I rock). I wouldn't mind writing advertising copy or doing market research, but I refuse to do direct sales. I am stuck in my general geographic area (central oklahoma).\n\nSo, what other types of jobs should I be looking at? Are there any kick-ass careers that haven't occurred to me but that would be a good fit for my skills?", "summary": "If you don't read this you won't know my skill set, so your advice will be crap. Oh, and if you are going to make the obligatory Starbucks joke,at least be original and funny."} {"id": "t3_eecth", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Trying to date a girl 2 hours driving distance?", "post": "There's this girl that I met a couple years ago in school. I asked her out then, but she had a bf at the time. We ran into each other years later when we shared a class together. We never really chatted outside of class, but i remember her telling me \"dont be a stranger\". \nAfter graduating not hearing from her in 2-3 years, she randomly invited me to her birthday a couple months back. She was drunk as shit and I was pretty drunk. Nothing happened, we danced and there was a lot of physical contact. I texted her, she replied, and I texted her back and that was the end of our correspondences. \nA couple months later she invited me to another party she was hosting. She didnt get nearly as drunk, and I smoked with my friends before, so I wasnt as social. \nWe went out when I drove up to visit her and go to a show and met up with some of her friends. \nI live about 2 hours driving distance away and I'm not sure what to do. I'm usually pretty guarded and have a hard time opening up to people, but I like this girl.\nI texted her earlier asking if she wanted to go to some event. She didnt respond. Should I text her again or just try to find someone local?", "summary": "i like this girl, she lives 2 hours away. i'm pretty guarded, dont know how to tell her i like her, what do i do?"} {"id": "t3_2yx5kz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [17f] Boyfriend [17m] Opened up to Me about Past Abuse", "post": "I asked this before and only got 1 response, please help me :( Yesterday my boyfriend of 1 year and 1 month, opened up to me about his previous relationship, he had never told me anything about it whatsoever until now. A girl that he dated for 8 months was physically abusive towards him, and threatened him with stuff like \"If you try leaving me I'll tell the police you're the one who hit me\" and a bunch of other horrible stuff. I was shocked and I tried to comfort him but I didn't really say much because I was pretty much speechless.\n\nI don't know how exactly I'm supposed to react to this sort of thing, and another crappy thing is this girl, goes to our school. And I was extremley upset hearing about it and I don't want to see her face at school because I will probably feel like punching her in the face. I'm really pissed off about it, even though I wasn't with him at the time so maybe that's weird for me to feel this way.\n\nDoes anyone else have experience with their SO opening up about something bad that happened in past relationships? How exactly am I supposed to react now that I have this knowledge? Sorry if I seem clueless but I feel so bad about it. And how am I supposed to be okay with seeing this girl around school?", "summary": "My boyfriend opened up to me about him experiencing abuse in a previous relationship, I don't know how exactly to react to it."} {"id": "t3_2d029z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [39 M] and my gf [27 F] of 4 months (living together after 1 month) had a tough talk about religion last night -- Successful couples with religious/spiritual differences: How do you make it work? How do you raise your kids and approach topics where each of you disagrees?", "post": "She's Christian and I'm \"spiritual\". I don't believe in the biblical God nor that Jesus is the way. We're both accepting of each other's beliefs but it's a huge deal when I think about children.\n\nWe're both loving and compassionate people in a great relationship, but this is a huge concern for me and I've tried to bring it up a few times with the topic getting swept under the rug when it got difficult. Last night we dove into it and it left both of us floundering without answers.\n\n**I'd love to hear from successful couples who have navigated this issue.** \n\n* We both want our hypothetical children to make their own decisions when they're able and not be indoctrinated with anything, but until that point they'll need to be raised in a certain way. \n\nI originally agreed that we could raise them Christian, but as I've attended church with her, I realized I disagreed with a lot of what was taught and how it was taught and I would want to discuss other perspectives as it came up with the kids.\n\n I realized what I meant was \"I was okay raising them around Christianity as long as I got my two cents in as well.\" This realization resulted in our talk last night.\n\nThis was obviously a huge change for her and she spent the night crying in my arms feeling like this could be our deal breaker.", "summary": "We're in a great relationship and broached the topic of spirituality and religion. We have more talking to do and would love to hear from couples who have successfully navigated the issue."} {"id": "t3_2e02xo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [15/F] found out a while ago that my dad [51/M] has had a 8 year affair with another woman", "post": "Last summer, I found out that my dad was cheating on my mom through accidentally logging in to my dad's email. Unfortunately, my curiosity got the better of me and I skimmed the first page of his inbox. Yes, I know this is really wrong of me but previously my brother [20/M] had mentioned that he believes our dad was cheating so I wanted to clear his name, but that backfired...\n\nI saw emails concerning my dad booking flight tickets to Kuala Lumpur and originally thought it was with my mom, but then I looked at the name and realised it was a woman I did not know. Let's call her \"Amanda\". So, naturally, I searched her email up on my dad's account and found countless other exchanges between them, and by then I was convinced. (By exchanges I mean hotel receipts, plane tickets, \"sweetie\"s, \"darling\"s etc.) \n\nBeing the creep I am, I went on Facebook and searched her up and found out that she, in fact, has a child as well. I did a little more digging on my dad's email and found out that Amanda had divorced her husband because she wanted to be with my dad, and my dad had contemplated divorcing his wife of 20 years but ultimately decided not to, so they continued their relationship secretly. \n\nSo, my issue is, what should I do? It kills me a little every time my dad comes home and my mom is ecstatic and tells him about her day, makes him dinner etc. I want to tell her but I also don't want to damage their relationship... I really don't know what to do, please help me....", "summary": "Found out dad was cheating on mom for 8 years, don't want to tell mom thus damaging relationship or hurting her feelings"} {"id": "t3_oo118", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm a student and I'd like to start some kind of protest to raise even more awareness against corruption in the US, but I do not know where to start", "post": "I joined Reddit today after hearing about the Megaupload ordeal, and I'd like to say that vivid doesn't even begin to describe my feelings. I've been a lurker on Reddit for a while and I've been doing as much as I can to raise awareness on PIPA/SOPA. Quite frankly I do not feel like I am doing enough to stop all the nonsense that has been going on in the US, and at this point I'm desperate for someone with more knowledge to help me start something at my University. I'm currently a sophomore, and I don't know much about organizing anything or how to build enough momentum mainly because my University is so large. My current goal is to gain enough attention amongst my generation to be more involved with the process instead of just sitting back.", "summary": "I need help with organizing some kind of anything at my school to protest against all the bullshit that's been happening with our government."} {"id": "t3_36jmnq", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Asked potential employer when I could expect to hear back from them, got an unexpected response. Advice? (x-post from /r/jobsearch)", "post": "This was originally posted in /r/jobsearch, but I'd like as much input as possible.\n\nHi all! I'm through 3 rounds of interviews with a company I'm really excited about, but one thing left me stumped. The interviews went very well, really long, and they seem interested in me. I asked if I could expect to hear back from them \"next week\" (which is this week), and the interviewer said:\n\n\"Hopefully, but if you want to talk to someone, feel free to call us. If there's anything you want to add, don't feel like you have to wait to hear from us.\"\n\nI know they want to hire ASAP and they interviewed another candidate yesterday. I've already mailed them a handwritten thank you letter that should arrive today (tomorrow at the latest), but now I'm wondering if I should reach out to them. I can't tell if he said that because he wants me to call them and show interest, or if I'm just overanalyzing everything because I really want this job. What do you guys think? I'm happy to provide more details if I left out anything pertinent.", "summary": "Interviewer said I should feel free to reach out to them if I don't hear back, not sure if I should do that or be patient."} {"id": "t3_266dku", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25F] fiance's [25M] parents think I'm a gold-digger.", "post": "We've been dating for two years. I've always gotten this vaguely disapproving vibe from his parents, but they accepted me because they didn't think that anything would come of it.\n\n And then we announced the fact that we were getting married and they smiled through it but I could tell that they weren't super happy. And my fianc\u00e9e had this talk with his dad the next day, and I don't know exactly what was said but basically his dad strongly implied that my fianc\u00e9 should be marrying someone more on his level. I'm guessing pre-nups got a mention as well. My fianc\u00e9, who was blissfully oblivious to their feelings before, stomped out of the house and is still pissed. \n\nBut he's also an only child whose parents think he's god's gift, and he does love them. We're not cutting them out of our lives anytime soon, so how do I get his parents to like me and realize that I'm not a golddigger? I know it will take time, but I'm hoping for strategies and stuff to speed it up a little. I don't want to just sit around and wait for them to get used to me.", "summary": "How do I can I convince my fiance's parents that I'm not after money and am \"good enough\" for him?"} {"id": "t3_4po4f7", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "Is anyone from the US in currently Edinburgh, and planning to return soon?", "post": "I apologize in advance. I know this probably isn't the right place for this post, so if there's a better place, I would be more than willing to move it.\n\nI just got back from my Ireland/UK trip yesterday, and the morning before I left I picked up a small gift for a friend of mine at a Cafe in Edinburgh. In my stupidity, I left it on the Airlink bus when I arrived at the airport. By the time I realized, I ran outside to find the bus closing its doors and pulling away. I chased that damn bus for as long as I could, but didn't stop.\n\nNormally, a small gift wouldn't matter, but not only was I really looking forward to giving this gift (It's a thank you for the person who gave me advice before traveling to Edinburgh) but it has now become personal, with me and that bus. I almost threw up after chasing that bus and I have never run that hard in my life. If some form of that gift does not make it to the States I will never let it go.\n\nI called the lost property number before my flight and sent a follow up email. The customer service was great and I spoke with a nice woman who seemed pretty sympathetic. I just got an email back, however, saying that nothing was turned in but they would check again on Monday. \n\nMy question is, if anyone is currently in Edinburgh and who is planning on returning to the States soon would be willing to pick up something for me, and have it shipped once back in the States. I know it's kind of a long shot and way more trouble than it's worth, but it's kind of important to me.", "summary": "I was stupid and forgot a gift on a bus to the airport. If anyone is there currently and planning on traveling back soon, would you be willing to pick something up and send it once in the States?"} {"id": "t3_2p527d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] always get bored by conversations with people even with topics I'm interested in. What's going on?", "post": "I've had it all my life. Whenever I talk with someone after a couple of minutes I start to get bored by a conversation (not on my own accord). Even if we are talking about somehting I'm intrested in i just get easily bored. Over time I've learned to feign intrest but most people can tell that I'm just not interested at all even though I'm trying my hardest to maintain the conversation going.\n\nMy mind wonders around and I think about other stuff I could be doing instead of wasting time with this line of conversation which has probably already been said and done over hundreds of times before by various people.\n\nIt's effected my relationships as most people think that I'm not interested in making friends or relationships with them when in reality I'm trying my hardest to maintain it by forcing myself. I don't know what the reason behind this is. Maybe its some sort of psychological condition who knows.\n\nIs anyone out there know of anyine in a simmilar problem. Any suggestions as to what I can do?\n\n(Side note: I don't have depression or any attention span problems)", "summary": "I find myself bored in conversations with people about all subjects to the point where it is effecting my relationships. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_2wawmp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27M] is seriously contemplating a divorce from my [29F] wife of two years.. Need some advice.", "post": "Just to give you some background...\n\nWe started dating 5 years ago, January 2010. For the first month or two our relationship was good. We would have late night chats and I really did enjoy her company. She is a very good women and does put a lot of effort into my family.However\u2026\n\nI just don't think I love her. Or that I ever did. The more I think about it now the more i come to the realisation that i did all this because it was kind of expected from me.\n\nI won't go into all the details but we've been fighting every day for the last year. I hate myself for being with her even though she is a good person (most of the times). \n\nRecently it's only gotten worse. We had sex for the first time in 8 months on valentine's. last night she threw that back in my face while she was going on again. She would do this 3 times a week where she would go on for at least an hour of how terrible I am. and everything I do wrong. Stuff we've talked about and resolved she brings up again and again. For some reason she just can't let shit go. \n\nI didn't think I'd ever be a person to get divorced but currently the only times I feel normal or happy is when I'm not with my wife.\n\nIt's at this stage of my life where I don't care about the financial or emotional implications. I just want to wake up in the morning and actually want to live my life.", "summary": "Don't think I love my wife, I'm getting depressed about it, don't want to leave her but contemplating it."} {"id": "t3_1mtr4b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "First he friendzones me, then he flips out on me. (confused rant)", "post": "I'm 28/m. Met a guy (25yrs old) through a dating app. We hooked up a couple times, then he said I was too neurotic to have a serious relationship with and that he didn't want to hook up with me anymore. But I still wanted to hang out with him because I'm new in town and he's a genuinely cool and funny person and we actually had a lot in common. And then we started hanging out a couple times a week, just platonic chill stuff like having a beer and watching TV. I had fun and I was totally okay with being just friends.\n\nA couple nights ago while we're hanging out, the dating app on my phone keeps going off - it's some cute guy pinging me. I ping back several times, thinking nothing of it. Suddenly, my friend flips out on me and says I'm being disrespectful and this is the last time he'll hang out with me and that I need to grow up and learn or whatever. He was so angry that I just called him a cab home. When I escorted him to the cab, he seemed genuinely happy to be leaving, then he hugged me goodbye.\n\nThis morning he texts me angrily again saying I had no social tact, I was clearly using him, etc.\n\nWhat the fuck just happened? I certainly don't feel like I was being disrespectful, but I'd like some feedback. I'm kind of pissed off and kind of hurt. I lost someone that I thought I could be friends with.", "summary": "He friendzones me, I'm totally cool about it, then a couple months later he flips out on me when I check my dating app and says we're not hanging out anymore."} {"id": "t3_4u8ckd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (25F) got too drunk and fell asleep during sex with my boyfriend (27M). I feel horrible and don't know what to do.", "post": "**Quick", "summary": "I fell asleep during sex because I got too drunk. Now my boyfriend feels terrible, I feel terrible, and I have no idea how to fix this. How can I make things right with him?"} {"id": "t3_194pq0", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[22/F] Need advice on a fickle heart.", "post": "When I began dating my current boyfriend, I realized that he was a perfect fit for me. Marriage kind of fit. But there's a guy from my past who, no matter who I'm dating at the time, we have this ill-fated passion for each other. Recently we fought and stopped talking, but neither of us can stay away. He's got a girlfriend too and is away at school. It's a hopeless situation for us, and we're both fighting it and have been since we met 8 years ago. We were briefly romantic in the first month of knowing each other. He was going to take me to prom, and he was so nervous and excited when I said yes. But after that month, he began playing hot and cold with me and cancelled our prom plans. Now whenever one of us is single, we immediately try to go back to the other one. But the hot-cold stuff has me turned off I the idea of dating him, and neither of us have ever said how we feel out loud. So why, when I have the perfect guy, can I not get this other one out of my head? What do I do? The feelings are just festering inside me. They have been through all my relationships. I don't want to leave my current boyfriend. He's the most wonderful man in the world. But I hate the idea of having that what-if over my head the rest of my life. I feel like an absolute bitch for feeling this way, but I can't stop it. Help?", "summary": "I have an amazing boyfriend but also a passion for a man in my past. Won't cheat but don't want to regret."} {"id": "t3_3t69q7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "We [M27/F25] kept breaking up but we want to try this one last time", "post": "This is a followup to this situation:\n\nWe had been together for nearly 1.5 years, and it has been a very rocky relationship. We're both graduate students with very limited time. We both dealt with depression and supported each other through it. \n\nWe didn't always used to be rocky. But somewhere down the line we started arguing about the same things. We broke up 3 times over the same cycle of arguments. As he's said before -- when we argue it's when he needs space at the exact same time that I need closeness. \n\nI fear that he's not emotionally available, and sometimes I'm afraid that he might not love me. And I suspect that he fears I'll never be content with this relationship, that my expectations are unrealistic, and that I demand too much of him. \n\nNeither of us are clearly in the wrong or right. I take full responsibility for the fact that I didn't give him enough space in those times when he really needed it. I take full responsibility for stressing him out over my upsets. I'm not sure that he wants to hold some accountability for the ways he's abandoned me when I asked for emotional support. \n\nA month since the breakup, we're still talking, and recently we've talked about trying one last time. He says that he's willing to try something different -- he's willing for us to go to couples counseling to figure out whether or not we can become better communicators to each other. He says he can't promise me that he's not going to walk out again, and he can't promise that he's not going to hurt me to the point that I'll be done for good. But he says he's still with me for a reason. In fact, besides our communication issues, we are compatible in every other way. I love this man deeply. \n\nReddit, I'm asking for your help to figure out what I need to do. I want to make this work, I want us to work towards a healthy relationship, and I want to have a stable, happy life with him. What can we do? What can we work on? How can we move forward?", "summary": "1.5 year relationship, rocky and on/off due to arguments. We want to put our all into trying this last time, and we want to stop our argument dynamics. What can we do to have a healthy relationship?"} {"id": "t3_v957c", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Which laptop should i use?", "post": "I need some laptop advice.\nMy current laptop: Dell inspiron 15inch, Intel pentium dual core processor T4500 (2.3 GHZ, 1MB cache, 800MHz FSB), 2GB Mem, 250 GB HD, Integrated Intel X4500 MHD Graphics Media Accelerator.\nIt is approximately 2 years old. Signs of wear include the bottom left and right joints being very tight and cracking the case. The right side got bad enough that i had to remove some of the casing. It looks (EDIT) bad but still work well sometimes it shuts on me or falls backwards but thats it (i am sure i will have more problems to come). \n\nFor graduation/my 18th bday my parents surprised me with a new laptop.\nDell inspiron 15inch (newer edition). AMD E-450 Accelerated Processor, 4GB Memory, 500 GB HD, AMD Radeon HD 6320 Graphics. Also it has a webcam and hdmi port which the other doesnt.\n\nBasically i am asking you if it is worth it to switch or not. I could just return the new computer which prob cost my dad like $250 which i would keep. I obviously know the Memory and HD are better but does the other shit make it worth it to use the new one and would i be able to sell my old laptop for anything. \n\nSorry for the wall of txt", "summary": "PARAGRAPH 1: Old laptop specs and problems, PARAGRAPH 2: New laptop specs, PARAGRAPH 3: Try to sell comp one or return come 2?"} {"id": "t3_1ilvxv", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/m] My boyfriend [24/m] \"cheated\", we want to fix it, how can we rebuild trust?", "post": "i don't want to go into too much detail but a month ago my bf slept with someone without me knowing(semi open relationship where we are just supposed to get permission before sleeping with someone else) and then told me immediately after extremely apologetically. after a day or two we decided to try and move past it. the relationship has been long distance for a year and a half so i visited recently to try and work on our relationship and it went pretty well. \n\nthe problem is i really want to trust him again and forgive him for everything, but i'm having trouble doing it. i was hoping someone might have similar experiences or advice on how to regain that trust. \n\nim guessing the answer is just communication and time...\n\ni have put a lot of thought into whether or not to break up and don't want to discuss that, there isn't enough information given for that anyway. I just want help thinking of how to regain trust after such an incident.", "summary": "my bf slept with someone then told me/apologized. we want to work it out but i don't know how to rebuild the trust we had."} {"id": "t3_27qnqn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm a [22 M]: Do girls really 'save guys for later', or refuse to date because a guy is 'too good' for them?", "post": "I'm 22 and I don't have very much experience dating, despite my efforts. I usually connect fairly well with women, but then it falls apart and I can't pursue or date a girl even if I feel like we both like one another.\n\nI don't want to sound like an asshole, but I've been told that I'm 'too much of a catch', or that some girls that I've tried to date have been worried that they like me 'too much'. \n\nOne of my female friends told me that some girls will refuse to date a guy in the short term if they think he has a lot of potential as a partner. She claimed, essentially, that girls are sometimes worried that they don't have their own lives together well enough to keep a guy interested, and so they'll refuse to date just so they don't mess things up and ruin a potential relationship in the future. Do girls really do this, or was she just being nice to me and concealing a deeper flaw in myself that is preventing me from having successful relationships?", "summary": "Will a girl refuse to date somebody that they really like because they don't want to jeopardize a potential relationship with that same person in the future?"} {"id": "t3_ykxf8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me(29M) her (21F) Shes my everything, but how do I bring up starting our future?", "post": "Im 29M she is 21M. I want to propose soon, but need to know how to go about bringing this up.\n\nI met her through my best friend as he was dating her sister and is now married to her. We met about a year ago, and have been close ever since, always talking, always together, we recently just started officially dating 2 months ago. I've been in love with her for a while now, and she feels the same. I've never felt so great with someone, we both had a bad past of being crushed, yes our age difference is in the spot light, but we are great together, everyone agrees when we are around everyone says we look very happy, we have an honest relationship, we hide nothing and we always express any concerns.\n\n We get along great with eachothers families, we argue about things here and there but always end up hugging and kissing it out. We have gotten past a few pretty big speed bumps as well, she has always been there for me as I for her...I was pretty sick for a while and still am, with a chance of never fully getting over a sickness I have, she says she'll always be here and I promised I'd always be here.. all in all.. I'd say we have a perfect relationship along the lines of all the needed elements.\n\n Honesty, being faithful, supportive and understanding. Shes the woman I want to marry...how do I bring this up to her??? We havnt not ever spoken of this. Now I spend a lot of time in this section of reddit giving advice and opinions.. but Now Im the one who needs a bit, any ideas anyone?", "summary": "Want to propose to my g/f but need advice on how to bring it up on a convo that shes the one I want to marry."} {"id": "t3_yvf48", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I let my sister and her boyfriend move in with me to get on their feet. Have you ever put yourself in a bad situation with family involved?", "post": "I let my sister and her boyfriend move in with me a few weeks ago so they could get on their feet and really get started with their lives and careers. Since moving in, they have yet to put any money towards rent and utilities, completely disrespect me and the space by leaving it a complete disaster area, and leave passive aggressive notes directed at me around the apartment about how I am too OCD with organization.\n\nMy sister isn't working and is currently studying. Her boyfriend works full time and has a great paying job. I didn't ask too much in rent from them and they agreed to pay me what I asked for before moving in. I helped them set up with public transportation, trying to help her find a job, and even got them set up with parking permits for their car. \n\nI feel horrible for bringing the rent up in conversation, and saying anything about the messes they leave. I am pretty OCD about being clean, but they tend to leave piles of dishes WITH FOOD STILL ON THEM in the sink. I don't want to put strain on our relationship and have her hate me.", "summary": "Sister moved in, stays home all day while boyfriend works full time, doesn't clean or pay rent since moving in and leaves extremely rude notes laying around for me."} {"id": "t3_27mher", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [27 M] travel with a girl I like [25 F] who has a boyfriend?", "post": "I met a girl about 6 months ago, and we hit it off straight away. Of course, turns out she has a boyfriend. Anyway, we've gone out for drinks twice in this 6 months, and both times, we're absolutely inappropriate together. We haven't gone home together, but if I had a GF who behaved the way this girl behaved with me, I'd break up with her on the spot. She has told me she views her \"friendship\" with me as \"keeping her options open.\"\n\nShe's traveling to South America for three months, and she essentially begged me to come with her. I have two weeks paid vacation to use, and she wants me to spend those weeks traveling with her.\n\nOf course, after she asked, I was elated. And of course, I assumed we'd be hooking up during this trip, and perhaps maybe she was finally leaving her BF.\n\nSo, I met up with her to go over travel details. She was being very weird with her body-language, trying very hard to keep things cold and platonic, which is never how we are when we're alone.\n\nI asked, \"Are you open to the idea of our hooking up while we're together those two weeks?\"\n\nShe said, \"No, absolutely not. If I do hook up with someone on this trip, it will be someone I meet there, not you. You remind me of my life here at home, so I won't hook up with you.\"\n\nAnd the rest of the night, she put on this extreme countenance of how she and I are just platonic and have always been platonic and nothing has ever happened between us and that her BF and I would be best pals if we ever met and that we SHOULD meet, too.\n\nSo, just how crazy and stupid would I be if I actually went with her?", "summary": "Girl with BF asks me to travel with her, but she said she won't hook up with me. We've been inappropriate together in the very recent past."} {"id": "t3_3douyk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [27 F] leans on me constantly [32 M]. I try to help but I have the same problems only worse.", "post": "I've been close friends with Allie for ten years, we've always been there for each other and used to spend large amounts of time together. These days are both busy so we see each other less but she calls most days. The problem is Allie has always been needy, now her complaints are the same issues I'm dealing only mine are more severe. Her career isn't moving quickly, her bf of one year hasn't proposed yet. My industry basically died overnight, I'm finishing a cert for low-paying work that will hopefully help me get a career. I've been single for two years because I've been financially unsuccessful and found dating difficult, the collapse of my career ending a 3 year relationship. \n\nI try to care but hearing her work drama and bf issues when I'm struggling to stay afloat is tiring. I said I'm focused on me right now and that it is harder to be there for people. I also expressed that I wouldn't mind being there for her as much if we hung out like we used to. I value the friendship but I'm not getting enough out of it anymore. Most of our talks are when she's driving home from work in traffic or driving to her bf's house I feel like I am a distraction more than anything. I'm hoping you all can help me find the words to express that I care for this person and want to be there for them but that it's difficult when I have my own troubles.", "summary": "[27 F] friend needs daily emotional support for relatively minor issues when I'm [32 M] struggling to find work in a relationship. Feeling more like a sounding board and a best friend these days, need help expressing this."} {"id": "t3_4fnsj6", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Advice for a soon-to-be sole provider for a new family", "post": "My wife and I are expecting our first child in early August, and we have made the decision for her to be a stay at home mom. We both are extremely excited about this, but after combing through some threads in this subreddit and seeing others who choose a similar situation, there seems to be a pattern I would very much like to avoid. \n\nThat pattern seems to start with a couple happily agreeing on one of them staying at home and raising the child, followed by the working partner getting frustrated due to the stay at home partner 'not contributing enough.' This, in turn, causes the stay at home partner to resent the worker for not standing by the decision they agreed to.\n\nI can see how something like this would unfold, and understand why many couples seem to encounter that exact scenario. However, I would prefer that my wife and I didn't go through that.\n\nSo my question is, to anyone who has gone through that (or even those who haven't), what advice can you provide on how to avoid a situation like this happening? Any tactics that you can recommend for how to avoid feeling like, as the sole provider, you have more weight on your shoulders? I'd like to nip something like this in the bud before it even starts. Thanks for reading!", "summary": "I don't want to resent my wife in the future for not working when I'm working. How can I prevent that from happening?"} {"id": "t3_2smmyk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Fwb [19f] of 2 months mad that I'm [29m] screwing other girls?", "post": "My fwb, let's call her Madison, is upset that I'm fucking 2 other girls. She won't directly say WHY but she becomes cold/passive aggressive whenever the topic comes up. The other night she asked me why I'm seeing these girls, why am I wasting my time etc and I answered honestly. We still had great sex but that convo was stressful and I can tell she wasn't happy\n\nI'd like to keep her in my life (she has an amazing body, and fucks the way I like) and I want things to be chill between us like it was at the start. \n\nWhat's the best way to keep things smooth? I figure I could lie and say I'm only seeing her but I dont like lying. Any advice is appreciated thanks", "summary": "fwb always jealous/upset I'm seeing other women, her bad attitude towards my situation is stressing me out, what do I do/say to end this bs?"} {"id": "t3_3fo7rc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [38/F] girlfriend of 11 years objects to having sex with me [45/M] but still pours on the romance heavily", "post": "I am 45M and have been together with my 38F girlfriend for 11 years. The last 4 years it's been a dead bedroom situation. We've talked about it probably 3,853 times, and ultimately it boils down to the fact that she's just not interested in having sex anymore. She insists that she simply has no libido in general, but I know that in most of these situations it's usually the case that one partner is just no longer attracted to the other, whether the low-libido person realizes it or not.\n\nThe whole time, she's remained super romantic with me. She loves to kiss, cuddle, go out on dates, walk through the park holding hands, go to plays, take road trips and vacations, watch movies, drink wine in nice restaurants, meet up with other couples, etc. The kicker is that she talks excitedly about plans for our future together.\n\nThis is all very confusing to me. If she's no longer attracted to me and doesn't want to do naughty grownup things, I can accept that. It's unfortunate, but that happens sometimes in relationships and life goes on. But, when that happens don't people usually pull away romantically as well? How is it possible that she is planting kisses all over someone and excitedly planning a future with a person she can't bring herself to touch?", "summary": "38F girlfriend is no longer interested in sex with me [45m]. So why is she still very romantic and talking excitedly about our future together?"} {"id": "t3_yqn8y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I only ever do things to make my girlfriend happy even if it means myself being unhappy. Advice please?", "post": "Me and my girlfriend have been together for 18 months and I feel like I only ever do things that she wants and not what I want. She is scared of me going out with mates incase I cheat on her (maybe because her previous boyfriend did?) or do drugs even though I have countlessly promised we that would never happen. I love her very much and with all my heart. I just don't feel in a happy and secure relationship anymore. She is very controlling although I would never tell her that. I want her to trust me, what can you do to make a girl trust you more?", "summary": "Girlfriend of 18 months forbids me to do most things, I only ever do things to make her happy, not myself."} {"id": "t3_leqo0", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Semi-recently out of a four year relationship. Realizing it was somewhat abusive. Felt like shit for awhile, now I'm happy to be dating again.", "post": "I posted here a few times after it happened, though they're deleted now. The typical loss, anguish, pain. \n\nI went on a date on Friday. First date in four years. I was nervous as hell and was worried I might just break down crying in the middle of it or something. \n\nBut something...clicked...I don't know how else to describe it. I realized the woman who claimed she loved me really did very little to prove that, while demanding proof from me on a neurotically-frequent basis. Everything she accused me of; lying, cheating, keeping secrets, not sharing my feelings enough, well, she did all of those things plenty, and tried to keep it all hidden from me. \n\nSo I went on this date. And I had a fucking great time. Not only is it the first blonde I've ever been with (I'm 30 and have been with around 20 women), but she's damn smoking hot. I had (and continue to have) a great time with her. Whether it turns more serious or not is the last thing on my mind. Hell, after we parted ways, went to the bars with some friends and I got two more phone numbers. \n\nWhat's the point of all this? I'm not trying to be a dick and rub it in everyone's faces or anything. I guess the most succinct way to put it would be", "summary": "There is no \"the one,\" just right people for the right times, and if the relationship ended there was probably a good reason for it, although that's hard to see at first. Go enjoy yourself."} {"id": "t3_2y3o6m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my long distance girlfriend [17 F] have a bit of an issue that might seem silly", "post": "I've been with my long distance girlfriend for almost 4 months now, and our relationship has been pretty great and we will finally be together in just a few months.\n\nNow we had a talk today, and we got into not quite an argument, but a discussion about a problem. We talk on Skype daily, and whenever we do she always seems to be covered up more, ie. today she wore a flannel and usually as a girl you'd button it down, and she specifically buttons it all the way up prior to talking to me. We've talked about it before and she says she wants that to be more of a suprise, but I think it's pretty silly that she walks around showing cleavage but completely covers up for me. I told her I don't think it's fair that literally any guy can look down her shirt at anytime, yet she entirely covers up for me. She says it's because I'm important and that everybody else doesn't matter, but I guess I don't see that, I see it more as if others get to see more than I do and that's kind of shitty. It's not as if I haven't seen her chest before, and yes, I've met her in person, and so I'm not sure why this is such a big deal to her, but it makes me feel kind of insignificant in a way, that a random kid at her school can see more than I, her boyfriend can.\n\nI know this is a silly problem, and she's a fantastic girlfriend and we kind of talked this out, but we didn't really get anywhere. There are no hard feelings, bit I guess I feel as if the issue still isn't resolved.", "summary": "My girlfriend wears outfits that show cleavage, yet deliberately wears a sweatshirt or covers it somehow when talking to me. This bothers me, but I can't really convey why, without sounding like a prick, any help?"} {"id": "t3_2w47lp", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Should I [23/M] ask my ex [22/M] to unfollow me on Twitter?", "post": "> Hey, sorry to bother you. Could you unfollow me? I'm guessing you just forgot, but it would help if you did. Thanks. Hope you're good. Bye.\n\nThis is the message I want to send him. Around 2 months ago, we cut all ties, following a talk about the previous ~3-6 months of him apparently not giving a shit about me. This has been tough for me, but I've succeeded in mostly keeping him out of my life. I haven't talked to him. I try not to let him get in the way of things in my head (and fail sometimes).\n\nThe problem is he still follows me on Twitter. And I've only got like 10 followers, so every time I'm on Twitter, I'm just sort of aware of him there. 90% chance he muted me during the aforementioned 3-6 months and doesn't see anything I post. But it still bothers me.", "summary": "Do I send it? Is there a way to handle this without sending him anything? Any random other advice would also be appreciated."} {"id": "t3_352u05", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by swallowing tobacco spit", "post": "I just wanna start off and quell \"dipping is bad for you\" comments. I know it's disgusting and terrible for me. Anyway.\n\n So this happened last fall my favorite college football team was losing to my least favorite football team. We had been drinking since midmorning, so when the game started late that afternoon I was in full T-Rex arms mode. In addition to drinking very very heavily I was also using dip to even out the experience. As the game progressed, we had an incredible play that could've turned the game in our favor. However, my team is notoriously known to fuck up at big moments. So I had my spitter and beer beside each other. In my carelessness I had spat the tobacco into my actual beer. Cue a terrible play. /chugs entire beer in anger. As the delicious beverage was nearing its final destination into my stomach, I felt something solid hit my lips. I knew instantly the mistake I had made. I doubt many people are aware of what happens when you swallow smokeless tobacco. I did. And I would soon find out the consequences of my actions. I calmly stood up , adjusted my invisible tie, and excused myself from the room. Stepping outside a deluge of Sweetwater IPA and Grizzly Wintergreen EJECTED out of my body. My soul and dignity along with it. I walked in calmly as my exit, popped another beer and watched my team be put out of their misery.", "summary": "Watched football. Became angry at the teams actions. Chugged dip spit beer. Vomited out my soul."} {"id": "t3_ll126", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girl friend of a year and a half spent the night at her ex's (a 6 year relationship). I need advice!", "post": "I'll try to keep this fairly succinct. My girl friend (Age 24) and I (Age 22) have been living together for a year and a half, we are pretty serious (have talked about marriage and kids). Recently, we have decided to slow things down and go on a \"break\" so she can get things sorted out and know for sure she wants to be with me.\n\nI of course didn't want this but felt like I needed to be supportive of it so she can be 100% certain of our relationship. The difficult thing is that we LIVE together, and I am still expected to treat her the same way I did before the break, minus giving her grief about going out/ not informing me of her plans.\n\nLong story short, last night she went and got dinner and drinks with her ex who she was with for 6 years prior to me. Later that night she called me (clearly intoxicated) asking if I would be upset if she stayed there because she was too drunk to drive the 30 minutes to our home. Now its almost 10A.M. the next day and still no word from her :/\n\nI need advice on how I should handle this situation/ what I should be thinking about all this. Thanks guys!", "summary": "My girlfriend with whom I am in a serious relationship spent the night at her ex's (a 6 year relationship) house while she was drunk last night."} {"id": "t3_3wl8mj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my crush [16 F] 2 months, I like her a lot but I don't know what to do.", "post": "For the past 2 month I'm hanging out with a girl from my class. I never really had the chance to really know her in class. So when we started to hang out and I really got to know who she really is I fell in love with her. I personally think she is perfection and literally can't stop thinking about her , but she is really insecure and isn't feeling well mentally for some time. I already told the people I trust the most about my crush. Including a friend of hers. But this is the first time I have a crush on someone. Normally I'm a person who tries to avoid crushes. But there was just something special about her. Because this is the first time I don't know what to do with it. I tried to forget my feelings, but I just couldn't get over her. I was thinking about confessing so I just could move on, but that would feel like just giving up this bond. So i wanted to ask reddit. There might be some things I probably forgot to tell but I had to write this fast.", "summary": "I have a crush on a girl. It's my first time a have these feelings. so I don't know what to do. I've already tried forgetting these feelings, but that was unsuccessful."} {"id": "t3_1ciopw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Mother is butt hurt over my telling her off, now she will only speak to me in a business like fashion [21/f+62/f]", "post": "21/f 62/f Mother/daughter \n\nMy mother is an entrepreneur and runs two businesses and I've been involved my whole life, working like a dog and even putting school after work.\n\nI go to university abroad, and I was home over Easter holiday, where I spent 9-5 EVERY day without pay fixing both websites, shooting slides, making new promotional materials and setting up her social media.\nThe business is doing poorly, very poorly to the point that she was following me around the house crying about not having money to pay taxes.\n\nI told her that she has GOT to send me pictures So I can do her social media.\n\nThis past weekend, first weekend I'm back at school, senior year, in the midst of the end of all things, she starts sending me these joke pictures, pics of someone picking their feet in the store, underwear hanging from a string and at first I didn't know what was going on so I was mad. This \"send me pictures\" social media issue has been ONGOING and I didn't get a single picture for social media. I've been asking for the last year to just send pictures, to take 30 seconds and send me a picture because I can't do it while I'm 5,000 miles away.\n\nI finally sent her a message saying,\n\"Also, I know you were sending those toe picture and funny pictures as a joke, but I find it disrespectful when I'm coming to you from a business perspective TRYING to help turn things around. Why should I take thins seriously if you're not?\"\n\nNow she's mad at me, and won't speak to me in any way other than short clipped business way. \n\nI'm just sick of a grown woman acting like a child. Ugh, some advice?", "summary": "I'm working on business development with family business, mother isn't taking me seriously, I called her out and now she's mad, I feel like I don't have time for this crap but she's my mom..."} {"id": "t3_3d8ssp", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I'm 24, no jobs, no qualifications, no assets and living with my parents. What should i do?", "post": "I am still studying in college, but it is just for a qualification for a job that i might not enjoy.\n\nI want to invest in property, but currently i have no cash flow at all to apply for loans. what's your thoughts on this?\n\nI've applied for a few jobs, paying around $600 per month with my high school qualifications, but college takes the majority of my time so i couldn't hold on to a job for more than a month.\n\nI want to be able to be financially free from my parents as soon as possible. they are financially stable but at my age, i want to be able to support myself instead of depending on my parents.\n\nwhat can i do now which can provide me with a steady cash flow so i can save up for a deposit for a property and apply for a loan, in a (*relatively speaking*) short amount of time?", "summary": "Assume i have nothing, what can i do so i can have a constant income and be financially independent from my parents?"} {"id": "t3_zeusc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[20F] feeling trapped in 2 year relationship with [20M]. Again.", "post": "This may be quite long, so I apologize in advance. My boyfriend [20M] and I [20F] have been dating for nearly two years, with a brief break in April. I broke up with him then because I was unsure if I still loved him and was feeling trapped in the relationship (I had been having those feelings for two months prior). Soon after the breakup, I began to feel like I had made a mistake--mostly because it seemed foolish to leave when I had someone who really loved me. We got back together after two weeks and things were peachy for a little while.\nA month later I began to have the trapped feeling again, and it has only gotten worse. He asks to hang out often, but I usually make up an excuse and tell him that I can't make it because I don't really want to spend time with him. He always initiates sex and I often turn him down. He tells me he loves me and I just repeat it because that's what I'm \"supposed\" to say, but it feels so empty. He's asked me about our future a few times (recently and in the past); I know he wants to marry me eventually but I honestly cannot see him in my future. \nI really don't think I want to be in this relationship anymore, but I'm afraid to break up because I know how much it crushed him last time and I don't want to hurt him that badly again--especially so soon. I feel like shit all of the time because I know I shouldn't be having these feelings and it's so unfair to him.\nShould I try and fix this or just leave once and for all? I don't even know if I want to fix it, but I'd feel like such a bitch if I broke up with him some 5 months after we got back together.", "summary": "Broke up with my bf a few months ago because I was feeling trapped, but we got back together shortly after. The trapped feeling has returned and I think I want out, but I'm afraid to hurt him again."} {"id": "t3_18zyd6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My [22f] bf [22m] gets very frustrated over small things sometimes. Any ideas on how to make him feel better after he becomes like this?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for around two years now and I've noticed recently that he's been getting very frustrated and almost angry at seemingly small occurrences. For example, he was playing a video game with friends the other day, and he'll start getting very angry that he's not winning, or that some insignificant thing didn't go his way during this way. Besides video games, this seems to happen when he tries to finish work up for his classes. When something is a bit more work than expected or when a problem does not work out (he's a math major), he will curse and become very put off. I would understand this on occasion, but these occurrences affect his mood for quite a while.\n\nSo, does anyone have any ideas on how to either comfort him or get his mind off of the thing he's frustrated about? Alternatively, is there anyway I can help him chill out a bit during these competitive moments so he doesn't get so frustrated in the first place?", "summary": "boyfriend gets really frustrated when he is in competitive situations and does not come out on top. What to do, /r/relationship_advice "} {"id": "t3_2dunpi", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Boyfriend (m/20) of one year will not stop bragging about his new job", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year now. We are both 20. He recently got a new job and I am so happy for him because he was looking for a really long time and is happy where he is. However, he will not stop bragging about how good he is at this new job. Everyday that I see him after work, he spends nearly the whole time talking about how fast he is learning everything, how much everyone likes him, how nobody does the work as good as he does, how managers love him, how he works harder than everybody else, how the management doesn't see all the good things he does and if they did they would be rewarding him, etc. \n\nI'm happy for him. He's confident. I get it. But seriously, have some modesty. I feel like I am seeing a side of him that I've never seen before and I don't like it. I know it's not worth bringing up with him because it will just lead to a stupid fight. How to I deal with this? I am having a hard time ignoring it.", "summary": "Boyfriend got a new job, constantly telling me how good he is at his job, very obnoxious to me, how to deal with it?"} {"id": "t3_3iiwju", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Hi Reddit. Met a girl, we connected, she still lives with her ex and I'm not sure what that makes us. Any advice would be appreciated.", "post": "Hello Reddit. (Obligatory) first post here. Formatting probably sucks blah blah. I usually just lurk, learn and laugh but thought I might gain some perspective from y'all.\n\nKind of lost here. I met a girl at my god-daughter's birthday party. I don't date people that often but she struck a chord. Everything is going swell but found out she still lives with her ex-bf of 11 years. They broke up about 8 months ago. Her and I had a conversation where she explained to me that the two of them were for sure over. Apparently the reason they still live together is a financial thing? Her and I had been talking for almost 4 months and have had a great time/connection. She took over the lease from him in August but allowed him to stay there for a few months until he found a new place. This guy is a manipulative person from what I can gather. I recently told her I didn't think we could move forward from this point while she still lived with him. I told her to give me a call once he moved out if she was still interested. \n\nHaven't talked to her in almost a month now. She texted me a week ago saying she felt like she lost a friend. I want nothing more than to re-connect with her and keep things going but don't see how it can work while he is the man she goes home to every night. I don't know what to do. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. Thanks!", "summary": "Met a fantastic female who still lives with her ex bf, connected deeply, I put things on hiatus after a few months bc wtf she still lives w/him. Leave the ball in her court or?"} {"id": "t3_1md4df", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24M] and my girl [23F] who I've been dating on and off for 2 years can't seem to stop fighting", "post": "I just moved away after college and we broke up because we've done the long distance thing before and it was hard. I'm also going through a time that I want to work on myself and a relationship feels like a safety net. Regardless, I love her, and she still loves me. Tonight we were talking, and I was explaining how when I get into a serious relationship, I want to feel secure and stable. Disagreements will happen, but fighting often and arguing to the point of seriously upsetting one another don't need to happen.\n\nI really love this girl, and there's so much to her that I think would be very satisfying long term, but I'm so tired of fighting and getting in spats. Is it unreasonable for me to expect stability from my significant other? She really is quite volatile.\n\nI want to keep things going, but only if things can get better. The option is definitely there if I decided to make a serious move, but I fear that she is toxic, and the problems we have might only get worse. It would be really hard for me to cut contact with her, because I love her, although sometimes I don't know if it's just because I'm so attached to her.", "summary": "My ex and I try to work things out, but we often get into spats. Is this something I need to eject myself from or are there ways to avoid this silly spats?"} {"id": "t3_3e5es7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18 F] father [47 M] wants contact after 10 years, but it may be just for protection.", "post": "Im sorry if this is a little confusing, I've never put this down into words and its hard to express what Im saying :/ Ill answer any questions down below. \n\nI recently turned 18 and I received a phone call from my Tio from prison. He told me he was in the same unit as my father, and that my father wants to contact me and sister after 10 years. My sister immediately said no, but I'm a bit hesitant. \n\nMy mom and dad split when I was 5 and they had an agreement that every summer he'd pick up my sister and I and take us to my abuelo's house. However, when he got remarried he told my sister and I he didnt need us anymore and then left. We found out a few years later that he was sent to prison, and just learned that he was in the same unit as my family (its a bit difficult to explain, but my family is technically considered a gang. I really dont want to go into specifics about that though.) He has been reaching out to my tios and asking them to convince me to write him because he misses us. The problem is I just had an uncle get released from prison, and he told me and my mom that my dad was trying to say he's from our neighborhood/family because of who my mom,sister and I are. Because all my tios know that he abandoned us and the other people from our neighborhood dont know him, they're calling him out and fighting with him and he had to be put into pc. My dad knows that if my mom and I say that he is my father and apart of my life my uncles would protect him, and I'm worried that is the only reason he's trying to reach out to me. I do not want to start an adult relationship with him if its only so he can be protected while he's in, but I miss my dad and I want to have some kind of relationship with him, even if we can only be friends. Im not sure what to do, please give me some kind of input.", "summary": "dad abandoned me when i was a kid, now is in prison with my family and may be trying to reach out to me for some kind of protection against other inmates."} {"id": "t3_184nhp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Redditors, how would you go about getting rid of someone you see often?", "post": "There is this girl that comes over to my place a lot and hangs out with my roommates and I fairly often. It used to be only Fridays and Saturdays and would hang out at night with us, but now she's over 5 out of 7 days of week and I don't like it. I am slightly attracted to her but I want to stay as friends and seeing her so often is making it hard to act normally in my own home. \n\nSO what I'm trying to do is somehow make it so she doesn't come over so often without looking like a selfish dick. Any suggestions?", "summary": "Trying to get rid of a girl I see too often at my place because she's making it difficult to stay focused on my own thing and makes me act abnormally, how would I do so politely?"} {"id": "t3_fs3hs", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So AT&T tried to get my commit insurance fraud, how should I handle this situation?", "post": "As ridiculous as that sounds I'm about 90% sure thats what happened... So a few days ago I called into AT&T about my recently stolen phone. The representative went over what was probably a usual script of trying to remedy the problem, this included the options of either extremely expensive no contract replacement phones or cheaper but fairly outdated phones(I still had my old phone and was using it at this point so buying something like that was pointless). The conversation dragged on and on about how few options there were for me and how little there could be done since I lost my phone 2 months after buying it. \nThen finally she told me she would talk to her supervisor about it. Couple minutes on hold she comes back and tells me that her supervisor told her that she could put insurance on my phone which she KNEW was already stolen so that I may claim it, which would only cost $125. At this point I was willing to try anything, and $125 for a new Galaxy S which was usually 500 outside of contract sounded good to me. So I called the insurance company told them exactly what happened, when it happened, and it didn't go through, OF COURSE it didn't, but why would an AT&T rep tell me to do such a thing, and why did her supervisor tell her to do that. \nSo I called back today got on the line with another supervisor and he didn't have much to tell me other than sorry, he gave me a few more options but those included buying some where else, adding a new line just to buy another phone or doing an early activation for $200(how is that any different since most contract phones are $200 more than non-contract), I will say he allowed me to check if my old phones IMEI was in use yet which it wasn't, unfortunately.", "summary": "I lost my phone, called ATT, they gave me insurance for a phone I had already lost and told me to claim it"} {"id": "t3_3zr9sd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 1 year, won't have sex with me before or on his leg day", "post": "I have been dating my boyfriend Jake for almost a year. We go to the same school. He competes for our school's powerlifting team, and is very good. Unfortunately for me, his obsession with the sport is starting to take over his life. He gets hurt a lot, and this past month he told me he found that sex irritates his hip. He decided that this meant we can't get have sex on days when he does squats, or the day before. This means no sex on Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday, or Thursday. Because we both have classes and he has trouble staying awake on Friday evenings, our sex life has gone from several times a week to once or twice per week.\n\nI would prefer to have a lot more sex, and this is frustrating to me, but I'm not sure how to approach him about it. How can I talk to him about this? I know I need to communicate my needs to him, but I have never been in a relationship before him and we have never had any problems so I'm new to this. I'm also not sure how to get to him because lifting weights means the whole world to him. It's so important to him that he keeps a framed picture of some Russian guy next to his bed that he claims has his world record, and he skips family events if they keep him away from the gym.", "summary": "Boyfriend is obsessed with lifting weights, won't have sex with me on leg day, not sure how to communicate that I won't more sex."} {"id": "t3_2fklup", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by breaking my girlfriend's nose", "post": "This one actually happened this morning... I'm in college, so I decided to sleep over at my girlfriend's house last night after we got done doing some homework. After doing our work I set my alarm for 8 am, put it on the charger, which is behind the bed, and went to sleep... no big deal. I woke up to that 8 am alarm and then fell back asleep for somewhere between 10 seconds and 5 minutes. I woke up again to my alarm still blaring. Like every other morning I went to turn my body to grab my phone and turn it off. Well, at the same time my girlfriend decided to do me a favor by turning it off for me (without saying anything). Her rising head connected with my swinging elbow, and what resulted sounded like a baseball bat being broken. Cue a crying girlfriend, a frantic boyfriend, and a wonderful way to start to the day.", "summary": "Woke up and elbowed my girlfriend in the face. Punishment for domestic violence from my fantasy football league TBD"} {"id": "t3_2ic5xu", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Where do I find human interaction?", "post": "Need some advice on where to socialize. A bit of background\u2026\n\nI'm male and recently turned 20, I have never dated and have very few acquaintances and fewer friends. I am relatively happy and successful, I am not depressed and do not consider myself forever alone. But due to an atypical upbringing I lack any previous social network. I live in the country but I am rather close to a variety of population centers and due to my work I rarely leave my own property. I suppose I should also mention that I'm not pursuing higher education.\n\nIf its relevant I attended a very small private Christian middle and HS and without elaborating excessively, this was very restrictive. I have only one friend from this experience and no one I want to associate with any longer. I have few typical interests, my work is uncommon and my personal hobbies would be downright strange to most.\n \nWhat I want to know is how I can meet potential friends and dates? Other than a lack of normal social experiences(thank you religioso HS) I have no crippling personal issues (as far as I'm aware). I'm still underage so no bars and I'm very skeptical regarding online dating given the terrible time my dad had with it (feel free to convince me otherwise). I'm not worried about actually dating I simply don't know where to look. This also leaves the friends aspect out, I would at least like a few acquaintances, as it is I might as well be living in another state for all the people I know. \n\nI hope all this doesn't sound self-pitying I just don't know where the hell to look for other humans to interact with, I'm a loner not a hermit and this lack of human connection is starting to weigh me down. \n\nThanks to everyone in advance for reading and subsequent advice.", "summary": "Otherwise happy non majorly fucked up 20yr m with no experience in dating or finding friends wants to know where to find them."} {"id": "t3_1bfi6o", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I'm (M/16) who is having trouble finding out if a girl (F/17) is interested, I have no skill at this, any help appreciated!", "post": "So, obviously I'm young, but hey, I'm still a junior going to a high school with this girl, let's call her Jenny. I've been friends with her since the start of this school year so ~6 Months. She got out of a relationship with her boyfriend around two months ago. She texted me and talked to me about it until she finally got over it. \n\nA couple weeks pass by and Jenny starts getting closer to me in class, we have class with each other every day. We start sitting next to each other, yeah no big deal. Another week passes and we're walking in the hallway and she grabs my arm, she interlocks it and I brush it off as nothing, she does the same thing after our next class and I start wondering.\n\nOver the next week, she starts hanging out with me more, I play lacrosse so I have practice all the time. On game day, Jenny takes my practice jersey and wears it around all day and then waits in the locker room for me, and we go hang out for a bit. We're sitting on a bench with a couple other mutual friends and she rests her head on my shoulder. \n\nNow, my doubts mostly come from the fact that Jenny is very outgoing and always makes up some lame excuse to ditch me when I ask to just hang out as friends on the weekends. \n\nI've always been really shy, and have only had one girlfriend before this and she approached me about going out. The few friends I've talked to about this have no idea how to help me. I like to be pretty sure that a girl likes me before I ask her out, any advice and commentary will be appreciated!", "summary": "Strongly believe an outgoing girl who I've been friends with for a few months has a thing for me, a shy and nervous guy, looking for any advice Reddit is willing to give me, thanks in advance!"} {"id": "t3_4z8zs7", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "My mom died a few months ago and my dad refuses to tell myself or my sister anything about her life insurance despite that my mom told me we were both listed on it. How can I find out what I'm entitled to?", "post": "Ok so the title makes me sound like a bad person who's only concern is getting money out of my moms death. NOT THE CASE AT ALL. My mom passed away from cancer earlier this year and respectively, my sister and I have been very patient with bringing up any type of sore or sensitive/touchy topic with my father since then such as her life insurance policy. Walking on eggshells I suppose you could say. We were a very close family, parents were together 20+ years so no tension or awkwardness there. \n\nEven before my mom was diagnosed, she told me numerous times about her life insurance policy and what my sister and I would be given if she passed. It's been quite a while now and my dad refuses to even SPEAK about the policy with my sister or myself, or anything that has to do with finances for that matter. We have no idea how he is doing financially (if he's saved for retirement, etc.) which makes me feel uncomfortable about asking him about the life insurance. He seems to be doing fine, renewed his lease and bought a new TV, etc. so we assume he's not doing horribly. \n\nHe won't tell us anything about the medical bills either and is being insanely secretive about the entire financial aspect of this. I'm 99.9% sure, based on what my mom told me, that both my sister and I were entitled to X amount on the life insurance but now I'm concerned he's trying to figure out how to keep it from us. What can I do to figure out the truth? Any advice would be appreciated.", "summary": "Mom passed away after telling me my sister and I were on life insurance. Has been 5 months since she passed, dad won't tell us anything. Haven't seen a single document. How can I figure it out?"} {"id": "t3_2hmm8x", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Is she interested?", "post": "So I met a girl a few months ago through some work friends, when we met she was seeing a guy. A little over a month ago he broke up with her. Since then me and her have been talking and not wanting to rush in to things I have been keeping it slow. The other day we where hanging out and she was making plans for halloween and kept coming up with group costums. We also made plans to maybe go out of town the weekend of halloween with a group of friends. The next day I texted her and she was suggesting couples costums so I thought it was going well. She is really friendly and sweet when we hang out and I get the feeling she is in to me. But today I asked her what she was up to and she said she was going to lunch with her ex, I asked her about after and if she'd like to see a movie and she said she would have to see how she felt after. Now I kind of feel like its not going to happen. Is it just me or is she not in to me?", "summary": "She got dumped, we hung out made plans for halloween, asked her out shes hanging out with her ex said maybe."} {"id": "t3_4ztee4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [15M] afraid my friend [16M] no longer wants to talk to me and have no idea why.", "post": "Long story short, he's my best friend and we've known each other since the age of 6. We always used to hang out to each other's homes and do random stuff/have fun.\n\nThing it's been a month and a half since we no longer see each other. We always delay our meets towards the weekends when we will be free to relax and not have to worry as much about work, but unfortunately there's always something in-between (holidays, grandparents, shitty weather and even work - he's got a part-time job). I'm worried he doesn't want to go out with me anymore but won't say it. He's generally not the kind of guy who complains openly about stuff.\n\nShould I be worried or not? What can I do in these circumstances?", "summary": "Me and friend plan to meet each other for a month and a half but there's always something that prevents us. I'm afraid he doesn't want to talk with me anymore and is making excuses."} {"id": "t3_14kpcf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [20M] of 2 months told me [17M] that he thinks my brother [18M] is more attractive. I haven't taken such a low self esteem blow in a long time.", "post": "My boyfriend told me that he thinks my brother is more attractive than me. You see, my boyfriend is Chinese, and most Chinese think white features are attractive. My brother has a pointed \"western\" nose and blue eyes. I have a rounded \"asian\" nose and brown eyes.\n\nHe told me \"your brother inherited all your family's beauty\" (his english is still improving.) I have been crying all day, because ever since I can remember, people have found my brother to be the \"attractive\" one, and I have been the less-attractive one, not necessarily ugly. I've battled self esteem for a while. \n\nI've always been skeptical to show my boyfriends my brother, for fear of them doing this exact thing. My brother (who's heterosexual) has dated several of my friends, and the moment my friends see him, they automatically get a crush on him.\n\nMy boyfriend tells me \"looks don't matter to me\" and that he thinks \"I am really cute\", but I don't think it's enough. I feel like he's just settling for me, when he really wants a guy like my brother. Do I end it before I get in deeper?", "summary": "My boyfriend told me my brother is more attractive than me. Battled self esteem my whole life. Feel like he's only settling for me. Do I break up before I get in too deep?"} {"id": "t3_v7tph", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Here again I return to this field of nightmares.", "post": "Owner to a party this weekend. It was pretty fun, but I do have some qualms about something's that happened there.\n\nMy friend asked me if I was trying to hook up with a mutual female friend of ours. The thing is that I am pretty sure everyone knows my love life is dead (or in the very least catatonic). I wonder what prompted him to ask. \n\nI do have to admit that I have a little crush on her, but none of my friends would know(directly) because I haven't divulged that sort of information to any of my friends in a long time.\n\nThe other problem I hae with the party is that I spent like an hour chatting to a female friend of mine about a rap artist we both happen to like. And of course,being me, I developed a little crush on her after reading way to far into her communications with me. I am guessing that what I did read from her was wrong so I throw it all out of my mind and must painfully convince myself that she is just a friend.\n\nFurthermore I have elaborated the fact that I , being monogamous in nature, find that my ability the have a crush on two women can only lead to the conclusion that I am fucking lonely. And the type of relationship I would have wouldn't be the type of long lasting relationship I want.", "summary": "I can't tell them how I feel, but it's for the best because I tend to fuck up in relationships anyways."} {"id": "t3_3dqcdk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my first date [18 F] is the age gap too big? And I think she is cute, but not really in love..", "post": "I was not actually activley looking for a relationship, but she asked me out. I have often wanted to be in one, but as I said, I haven't been activley looking. I think she is cute, like mabye 6-7/10 and seems really nice.\n\nHowever I have some concerns about me not really having any 'flyttery' feelings for her. (English isn't my first language so that is the best I can describe it.) Because, I have somtimes fallen for girls wich I would say are better looking. \n\nI've been described as quite handsome but I see myself as kind of a nerd. I've never built up the courage myself to ask a girl out, I tried tinder for a while and got a few matches (only one I really liked) but never got anyones number. \n\nI'm also concerned about the age gap, since it falls out of the 'socially-acceptable-scale-thingy'. But only by 1 year. And also that I was kind of subscribed to that rule myself and actually think 19-20 *should* be my lower limit. \n\nThen again, I think we actually are a good match in that we might have similar interests (we met when I visited my old dojo), architecture and anime. I said yes to the date because of this, but I feel like I need to ask if I should pursue this as a relationship when I haven't really fallen for her the way I have for others.", "summary": "Is an age gap of 5 years too big when the girl is 18? I haven't really fallen for her, but I think she is a good match. Should I pursue this?"} {"id": "t3_1cd1pk", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What do you say to your friend who wants to die? (purely hypothetical)", "post": "There's an episode of Louis with Doug Stanhope where Stanhope plays an old friend of Louis'. At the end of the episode Eddie leans up against his car, drunk, and starts this spiel to Louis eventually bluntly stating that he plans to kill himself after his next show. Here's a clip of the scene - \nWatch the whole thing (it's on Netflix) if possible. \nLouis, being Louis, tries to convince Eddie to live - gives a really good speech too - but Eddie cuts him off. At the end of it though Eddie explains he's telling Louis because Louis is the only one he really wants to say goodbye to, so they end with saying good bye.", "summary": "Friend wants to die, only wants to say goodbye to you. Do you continue to try to convince them, foil their attempt, etc. etc. or do you just say goodbye?"} {"id": "t3_3kyi7n", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by having no hair.", "post": "Backstory: I have Alopecia. I'm 23 and I have no hair on my body. No eyebrows, no head hair, no ass hair. Nothing.\n\nLike to share an experience I just had, something a little different.\nJust had a bad day at work, had to stay late, incompetent bosses, etc. Feeling a bit peeved as it is, I had to grab some food from the local Tesco before going home. Went into the shop, grabbed my stuff, and paid at the self service till.\n\nJust as I'm leaving, I look to say \"Thank you\" to the security guard by the tills, but he stops me, and says \"Do you have cancer? Why do you have no hair?\". I'm completely taken a back. This type of thing hasn't happened in a while. Then my 'incompetent boss' anger kicks in, and I start telling this guy what an absolutely outrageous thing he has just asked, and how this was completely unacceptable. I ask for his name, and tell him I will be phoning up to make an official complaint about him.\n\nI leave the shop, and phone my girlfriend, calling this guy every name under the sun. My girlfriend is just as amazed as I was that someone would ask that question - what good does he think would come out of it? She comes up with the good idea to go back into the store and ask for the manager.\n\nSo I go back into the shop, storming in. I approach the security guard and say \"I'm very annoyed, I want to speak to your manager.\"\n\nHis response:\n\n*\"I'll get my manager, but I only asked because I had leukaemia when I was your age, and lost all my hair as well.\"*\n\nI fell flat. I apologised profusely, and left the Tesco.\n\nI'm sure 99% of the time when people use the cancer card, its out of thoughtlessness, but try not be like me who lost his cool far too quickly.", "summary": "I have Alopecia (no hair). Guy asked if me if I have cancer. I get mad. Turns out he had cancer at my age and just wanted to strike up a conversation"} {"id": "t3_3htr6e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] is sick of my GF [19 F] best friend [20 M], dealbreaker? Need advice!", "post": "Hey reddit, I will do my best to keep it short:\n\nI am dating a girl for a couple of months now and we harmonize perfectly in every aspect expect one: her fucking best friend. \n\nThey spend a lot of time together (shit like watching movies in bed etc.) and talk about intimate details of our relationship (like our sex life and when we have an argument etc.). In fact when they hang out, they are like a couple expect they don\u00b4t have any sex (at least what I know). He also has a girlfriend and from what I heard a few broken relationships because the girls could not deal the fact of him spending so much time with his \"best girl-friend\". He is also protective as shit about her. \n\nMy girlfriend always claim that she has absolutely zero sexual interest in him and thats why it works so well and the same for him (which I call 100% bullshit since they are both very attractive 19 year olds with hot bodies).\n\nSo now we are dating for quite a time and it starts to get serious but I am thinking about ending this because of her best friend. I tried to talk to her many times about this and every time it ends in tears and \"please don\u00b4t let me choose between you both\" and \"you are both so important to me\". But honestly I am not ok with sharing my girlfriend with another dude and to know that every time we hang out all together he knows every little detail about our bedroom stories and problems. I would not have a problem if she talks to a girl best friend about this (since I also talk about everything with my best buddy). \n\nSo either I am full of complexes and lack self esteem because I feel intimidated by her best friend or this is not normal and not worth the drama. Please reddit give me some opinion and advice on this, I feel bad about breaking up with her but I am afraid that the drama will go on the more serious our relationship goes.", "summary": "Girl I date has a very very close bestfriend which she shares everything about our relationship etc.. I don\u00b4t feel ok with another dude being so close to her. Need advice on how to handle the situation."} {"id": "t3_3fdh5r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [27/F] tactfully scale down contact with my male friend [23]?", "post": "I've been friends with him for a few years, occasionally hanging out one-on-one. Recently our friend group broke up, so now all our hanging out will have to be one-on-one.\n\nI'm fine with that, but he's asking me to hang out every week or every second week, and I'd like to see him more on a once a month type basis. A long time ago he asked me out and though he swears he's over any sort of crush, sometimes I feel the dynamic remains to a slight extent. I don't want to be hanging out in a pseudo boyfriend-girlfriend capacity, which is what it feels like to me when we're getting dinner together all the time. We're at different life stages and I can't talk about girly stuff with him, plus in general I'm an introvert and probably wouldn't want to hang out that much even if he were a female friend. Final thing is there were a lot of toxic friendships in our group (long story involving a break-up), and he's still friends with everyone and therefore is a link back to all that drama (although there's no hard feelings, the rest of us have decided to go no contact with each other).\n\nHow do I tactfully tell him this? I texted him a polite variation of the above a few days ago in an attempt to set boundaries and he responded \"I don't feel the same way, but everyone's different. I totally understand\", but now he's already asked to hang out again. Another problem is that he doesn't have a huge social life (at least, from what I can tell), so part of his motivation is just to hang out with *someone*, I think, so it's hard not to feel bad turning down his requests. At the same time, I'm thinking this dynamic isn't that healthy for either of us.", "summary": "How to tactfully set boundaries with a guy friend I want to hang out with a bit less frequently? Plus a lot of overthinking."} {"id": "t3_171aj6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/f] Etiquette advice needed for breaking up with my semi-long-distance boyfriend [22/m]?", "post": "Hey. 20F dating 22M for almost four months, and things just aren't really working out. I want to have feelings for him, but I don't.\n\nAnyway, we're in a not-quite-long-distance relationship--he lives an hour away and drives to see me once a week. I know that generally when breaking up with someone you're supposed to do it face-to-face, but I feel like it would be unfair to make him drive all the way to see me only to be broken up with and have to drive back. Would a phone call be acceptable?\n\nAlso, if he asks why specifically I'm breaking up with him, how in depth should I go? I mean, there aren't any smoking guns or anything, I just... I don't miss him when he's not around, and I don't get excited to see him apart from the sex.", "summary": "if my boyfriend lives pretty far away, is a phone call acceptable for breaking up with him? Also, how much do I tell him about why?"} {"id": "t3_jr961", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I'm in need of some advice. Can you help?", "post": "Ok, here's a little bit of background information. I recently started talking to this girl, who happens to be my ex-girlfriend's good friend. I really like her... I've never met someone who I can talk to for five hours and still want to keep talking. Talking to her has been the most fun I've had in a really long time. Last night, we both admitted that we had feelings for each other. \n\nUnfortunately, my ex-girlfriend found out we had been talking. She immediately proceeded to tell her friend that she cannot talk to me anymore. \n\nThis girl is now stuck in the awkward situation of having to decide to see me and let go of her friend, or listen to my ex and let go of me. I've been feeling too shitty about putting her in this situation to come up with a solution. So, Reddit, I turn to you. What should I/she do?", "summary": "Ex-girlfriend's friend and I have feelings for each other. Ex-girlfriend flipped out and told her friend that she couldn't talk to me. Neither she nor I know what to do."} {"id": "t3_3pzofn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [16 F] emotionally abusive ex [19 M] messaged me for the first time in a year, can't decide how to respond.", "post": "I've been afraid to post here because of my age but I have no one in my IRL world that I can ask about this.\n\nA little backstory first: so when I was 15, I dated an 18 year old who was pretty awful to me for all 5 months we were together. After he broke up with me, he refused to tell me why, and instead spread rumors about me around school (e.g. \"she got ugly once she cut all her hair off\" \"she was a drama queen\" etc.). I also found out that everything he ever told me was a lie and he only dated me to get closer to my best friend.\n\nI woke up to a series of texts from him that read (shortened and edited so you are actually able to read it): \n\n\"Hey Girl, I know I am the last mother f*cker you wanna talk to and I don't blame you. But it's Boy and I need to ask you a hardcore question. And I need your honest opinion. If I just talked to you and told you how I felt instead of not talking to you and holding back everything and blowing up on you, do you think we would've worked it out or were we bound to end? I deserve to know. Sorry for bothering you.\"\n\nThis is the first contact he has had with me since he said \"I'm breaking up with you\" and I'm conflicted as to how to respond. Part of me wants to let loose on him about how terrible he was, but the other, more responsible half wants to be an adult about this and speak level headedly. Do I blow up or show up?", "summary": "Awful Ex reestablishes contact, tries to reestablish hold over me. Don't know how to respond."} {"id": "t3_3g21ne", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [27 M] of 3 years keeps making huge decisions without communicating with me [23 F] at all, is this normal?", "post": "Dear Reddit,\n\nPlease help me out here because I'm really failing to understand.\n\nMy boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years total. I'm a full-time grad student. My boyfriend works as a consultant. We share expenses and we are definitely talking marriage and kids in the future.\n\nAbout a month ago, I found out that he had started a business entirely without telling me anything about it at all. I was absolutely stunned. He said that I should have asked more questions. He said that when he mentioned \"I'm going to lunch with x today,\" I should have realized that it meant that he was doing business. I told him that was completely unreasonable and it led to a huge argument. We fought a lot but in the end, he promised to keep me explicitly informed and involved in all major decisions in the future.\n\nFast forward a month, he comes home with a brand new car. He told me he was looking to trade in his car, but he didn't inform me of ANYTHING else until he came home with the new car. This led to another huge fight. For the record, he can afford what he is doing; I am concerned about the lack of communication part.\n\nI just want to know... is this kind of thing normal in other couples? He makes many small decisions without my input, which is fine, but I consider a business and a car to be things you talk through with your SO. How do I approach this? He keeps promising to keep me informed and keeps failing to.", "summary": "Boyfriend of 3 years started a business without telling me anything, promised to keep me involved in future decisions, then gets a new car without any communication with me."} {"id": "t3_w57u0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why can't I get a job?", "post": "I have tried using online job finders (Snagajob), I have tried asking friends who are in manager type positions... I have tried cold calls, I have tried showing up with resume in hand... I have tried following up the online applications and physical applications I have turned in via calling the employer I applied too weekly... I have tried applying to mom & pop shops, and large faceless corporations. \n\nI can say, with absolute confidence... That I have tried applying to over 150 businesses in the last 5-6 months, for all kinds of varying work in almost every salary range. I have only yielded 2 interviews from one business (Books-A-Million), even had a background check done... And nothing came of it. \n\nQuite honestly, i'm getting tired and i'm about ready to give up, maybe even just off myself. What the fuck is the point of living if I can't even work? I have zero work history, and no experience. I have plenty of skills, yet no one is willing to even let me prove that to them.", "summary": "I've tried just about every method of employment I have read up on, or have been suggested... Why can't I land ONE job? "} {"id": "t3_32q5j9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M/] with my GF [26 F] 4 months, I lied about my education", "post": "We've been dating for 4 months, and this is eating at me. I lied about having my bachelors in chemical engineering. It was too hard and I dropped out of college. When we started dating, just to play it cool, I told her I had my bachelors since she is working on her Master's thesis. \n\nI thought more of it as a fling and never thought this relationship would develop into anything serious. The more we spend time with each other, I uttered the words of love to her. And I actually want a serious relationship with her. I've made up stories and jokes about why I'm not doing anything with my (fake) degree. \n\nIt's actually bothering me constantly, and honestly I have no idea how she would take it, if I tell her the truth. I am back in school, but taking some general classes slowly trying to find out what I want to get a degree in.\n\nDid I really ruin this entire relationship because of this lie?", "summary": "Lied about college education, I dropped out of college, but now taking classes again. We've been dating for 4 months."} {"id": "t3_3jjzfx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 M] told my girlfriend [20 F] of 4 years that I looked at porn after lying for 3 years.", "post": "I told myself that I would fix it by myself so that she wouldn't ever have to know. One day I was thinking long and hard about our future and I knew that I couldn't allow myself to lie to her any longer. \n\nShe asked me when we first started dating if I looked and I told her that I used to but I wouldn't anymore. I tried to keep this promise but then I fell back into it and stayed that way for years. When I told her she was mortified and almost broke up with me on the spot, but didn't. We had been going to counseling for about 1-2 years now as a preventative measure and she agreed to go with me once again. After talking it over with our Psychologist, I was given tasks and tools that would help me overcome my problem and try to fix us. \n\nFast forward to present day, I have been doing everything that the Psychologist has asked for me to do, I haven't looked once, and I have been telling my girlfriend the truth on everything. She still isn't happy (understandably) but she is now asking me questions like \"tell me everything that you looked at\". She tells me that it is part of her healing but I told her that as part of my healing I need to leave my past there and look forward to the future. Currently she doesn't want to speak to me unless I tell her.\n\nIts been really rocky and I either have been feeling completely emotionless towards her or depressed by myself. I usually am very optimistic about the future with her but lately I feel like she is just going to cut the cord and I feel like there is nothing left for me to give without hurting myself. Any insight, advice, or criticism would be greatly appreciated...", "summary": "Lied, came clean, she is very hurt and mad, I worked on myself, and I'm now at point where I feel like I can't do anything more and feel confused on what to do."} {"id": "t3_1dw70g", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Reddit I need your help [15f]", "post": "About a month ago I filed a police report against my ex boyfriend [18m] for sexual assault. In this case it is considered rape because in the state of Hawaii, anything entering the body without permission is considered rape. The detective met with me and I had an interview in which I gave the details of what happened in December. (him fondling and looking at my breasts and him fingering me. Both without permission) when we broke up in January I had deleted all texts and fb messages from him. My mom just informed me that the detective called and it does not look good for me. The boy has all messages and the school at which it occurred has hired a private investigator. The detective said that the boy could easily get away with this, and I could get in trouble for false accusations. What should I do?", "summary": "filed a police report against ex (18m) for sexual assault, and things are looking better for him than me."} {"id": "t3_2ibt8q", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by getting a free sample", "post": "I was at the mall with my friends because we wanted to see a movie but all of the movies were sold out. One of my friends suggested we try the free samples in the food court. First one we stop at is this chinese food place. all three of us take a sample and as we're getting ready to leave the woman giving them out stops me, pulls me over to the counter and forces me to buy food because we're not allowed to take the samples without buying anything. I cant understand a thing she is saying either because she is yelling, people are talking all around me, and she is very bad at speaking english. When the guy is giving me the food he didn't ask what i wanted just threw rice and chicken on my plate and charged me 15$. The guy at the register asked if i wanted a drink. After he explained to me that the 15$ i paid didn't cover the cost of a soda i politely declined his offer for a drink. At least he was honest. One of my friends left while i was dealing with this and as i sat down to eat the food i didn't really want i saw that he had the same food as me that he bought from the other chinese food place right next to the one i was at.... for 5$. The only reason i bought anything from there was because i didn't want them to call the cops and tell them i stole from them. Food wasn't that bad though, just insanely overpriced!", "summary": "Got a sample from a chinese food place was forced to spend 15$ on food i could've gotten for 5$"} {"id": "t3_105zqm", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Do you find yourself Attractive? scale 1-10 (no pic proof) follow up question inside", "post": "do you find yourself physically attractive but feel you will be seen as vain or conceited to even privately acknowledge it. Without showing proof, bc really who wants a beauty contest, were do you honestly without fear of other's opinion, think you rank. \n\nI ask bc my husband has been telling me for years he thinks I'm very attractive and co-workers/friends \"always\" ask how he got someone out of his league. While I think most of this is inflated, I have recently gotten quite a few compliments of new style changes, and I'm left wondering what's so wrong with feeling attractive?! Are we so insecure as a society that we can't just let someone else feel attractive, or is it a perceived fear that other's think less of you when in reality no one gives a damn what you think of yourself.", "summary": "Do you find yourself attract? 1-10 (no proof pic please) Do you feel other's look badly on people who admit they find themselves to be attract or its all in our heads that other's are judging?"} {"id": "t3_k0npm", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "If I don't do this now", "post": "I'm looking for advice, help, reassurance, dissuasion or a little bit of each on a major life decision. I'm an American, who has been working since college with a specific career goal in mind, and achieved it long before I though I would, only to find myself bored and dissatisfied with work and frankly life in general. I need a change and I don't have much time left to do it. I want to sell the possessions I can, put the rest in storage, and move to Australia for a while on a 1 year visa. I don't need to make a lot of money or further my career, just figure myself out. To be honest, the less responsibility the better. I may stay the whole year, I may try to stay longer, I may recharge my batteries \"find myself\" and be done with it sooner than expected. Either way I feel like I need something like this to reboot my life. Any tips on life in Australia for a traveling American, making drastically stupid moves or anything of the sort would be much appreciated. Thanks Reddit.", "summary": "I'm an American, bored with my career, wanting to live in Australia for a while, but in need of advice."} {"id": "t3_1y3lev", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(M24) girlfriend (F23) drunkenly kissed gay male friend", "post": "Hi all. We've been together just under a year - she's never done anything like this before.\n\nYesterday my girlfriend went out and got blackout drunk the other night, kissed her gay male friend. One of her friends had a go at her for doing this as she didn't realise he was gay.\n\nMy girlfriend then calls me drunkenly afterwards. Crying, saying that she's sorry she kissed him.\n\nThe day after I've confronted her about it and she's obviously very very sorry. Has text her friends to find out if anything else happened and relayed that to me.\n\nI feel like this shouldn't be a big deal but at the same time it is... she kissed someone other than me, whilst drunk.\n\nWhilst she's obviously sorry and I love her to bits. I dunno what to do or if I'm being silly for being hurt over this?", "summary": "Girlfriend got drunk, kissed one of her male gay friends and the more I think about it the more annoyed I'm getting."} {"id": "t3_1vht1g", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[24f] Should I keep sleeping with my FWB [25m] even though he refused to add me to facebook?", "post": "I feel stupid even asking this. It's such a teenage girl dilemma. But the sex is SO GOOD that I really want to keep sleeping with him. And it's hard to say no when he texts and says he's been thinking about me and begs to come over. \n\nThis has been a strictly FWB situation, but after a few times sleeping together and hanging out I started to like him and told him to add me to fb. He said \"I thought we were keeping this discreet\", which made me feel like he was embarrassed by me. Anyway. Some advice on this would be much, much appreciated.", "summary": "FWB was a jerk but is a great lay (aren't they always?), keeps begging to come over. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_2vcj9i", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "\"I have no idea what I'm doing.\"", "post": "I wanted to share this story because it made my time at the gym tonight so much better.\n\nWanting to try something new, my friend and I decided to try pull ups. Neither of us are at that point to do one properly yet, so I was teaching her about negative pull ups. I knew that I didn't know much about them, so I looked to the woman next to me (she'd been listening to my conversation) and with full confidence, I told her [\"I have no idea what I'm doing.\"](\n\nAnd I'm so glad I did. Without hesitation, she started teaching us all about how to progress to a proper pull up. She was actually a trainer at the gym! Only she wasn't in her uniform because she was off her shift doing her own thing. Within 10 minutes, we knew so much more on what to do and how to do it. She then told us to come to her any time we needed help. \n\nI guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay to admit you don't know how to do something. I usually hate asking for help at the gym (I'd leave the gym then watch YouTube tutorials instead) but that spur of the moment really changed my mind.", "summary": "Don't hold back because you're embarrassed about making a fool of yourself! You might not accidentally talk to a trainer, but at least you might have someone else at the gym pass on what they know to you."} {"id": "t3_1ly7c2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "A distant family friend [22M] recently casually asked for my [21F] number, and sent me a text a month later - what does it mean?", "post": "This is a family friend I've previously barely ever talked to (not in a mean way, just in a 'we hang out with other people' way). Thus it made me do a double take when he very casually after saying hi at one of these gatherings said, 'Oh, I don't think I have your number, do I?'. I gave him my number, because it would have been rude not to.\n\n1 month later, I get the text, 'Hey Apple_crumble1, this is [insert name] how have you been? Haven't seen you in a while :)'\n\nNow this is a little odd, because we barely ever see each other anyway, not like this is unusual.\n\nI sent a reply along the lines of 'Not bad, studying for exams mainly. You?', and a few minutes later there was a response like '[blah blah, talking about exams] Do your parents let you go out much, like Friday, Saturday nights, or are they very strict?'\n\nIs this a prelude to asking me out, or am I reading too much into idle conversation? I don't have much experience with this kind of thing.\n\nFor the record, I'm not interested in him in that way in the slightest. If it is a prelude to a date, any advice on how to prevent such a request/let him down gently without directly saying 'I'm not interested'?", "summary": "Family friend asked for my number and sent a text. Is he about to ask me out, and if yes, how do I prevent this/say no nicely?"} {"id": "t3_287a8o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend of over a year told me that she is unsure of her feelings for me. Need advice.", "post": "So this is my first post so I apologise up front about any format or grammar mistakes.\n\nMy so (18f) and I (20m) have been together for a year and almost three months. This is a long time for us seeing as all previously all relationships before hand were much shorter.\n\nShe went out of town to see her dad this weekend and week talked on the phone last night, normal night for us.\n\nShe came out and told me that for the past month or two she had been wanting to break up and that she has only stayed with me so far to make me happy.\n\nI've come to the conclusion that I know she is the person that I am in love with, but she says she is unsure of her feelings for me anymore.\n\nI asked her to wait about the break up until she is back in town because this is a big decision and that not something that should be done over the phone.\n\nSo reddit can you give me some advice?", "summary": "girlfriend of over a year told me she's unsure of her feeling now and I asked her to postpone the breakup talk until she gets home from out of town."} {"id": "t3_4shumd", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Need advice with job/interview situation.", "post": "Hello Reddit, \n\nThanks for all your help today.\n\nBackground:\n\n* 30 year old male, lots of savings, money not a problem\n* Educated in aviation/aerospace with 5 years of experience, have worked with two major companies\n* Currently looking for work\n\nSituation:\n\n* Had an interview with a major firm (\"Company A\") 3 weeks ago. Still waiting to hear back; feedback was very good.\n* Had another interview with a smaller firm (\"Company B\") last week; was \"chosen as the candidate to be hired\" according to recruiter. No offer yet, but recruiter is waiting for contract to arrive. *This job will start later this month*. *This is also a 10 week contract*\n* Company A recruiter contacted me today asking if I can interview with another big firm (\"Company C\"), about 3 hours away; *this is a long term position with high possibility of permanent hire but they are looking for someone to start in 3-4 weeks ish", "summary": "Company A has interviewed, no offer but positive feedback. Company B interviewed and chose me for short term contract, no offer/nothing signed but verbal intent shown and start date finalized. Company C wants to interview me soon."} {"id": "t3_fsmor", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Insane collections debt on my credit report that I've never heard about. Some creddit advice?", "post": "About 4 few years ago I dropped out of a terrible private school, so they dropped all financial aid and gave me a lump sum debt of a few thousand dollars. My parents were going through hard times, and I couldn't pay much. So I sat on the debt unpaid for over a year, until I got a great job and was able to pay it off within 2 months.\n\nAt that time I also checked my credit score to see what's up. The school debt was \"in danger of going to collections\" at the date of paying it in full. A month after paying, it was closed and \"paid\" after paying it, so everything looked good. Debt-free for the first time since going to 2 different colleges, working a good job in the career I want and everything looking up.\n\nYesterday, I checked my credit report for the first time since then (~16 months). There's a debt I apparently owe to collections agency that I've never heard from in my life; no email, no phonecall, no letter, and all of my contact information is listed. The amount of the debt is almost twice as large as the original debt given after leaving the school. The kicker is, the collections was apparently reported to the agency a month before I paid the debt in full, but it did not appear on my credit report until months later, and of course I didn't see it until now.\n\nThe [website for the agency] makes me cringe, and there's very little information about them; though a search for the company name or phone number returns a lot of scam/fraud reports. Which makes me think it could be a fraud attempt, but the credit report says that the private school reported it. I suppose a scammer could figure that information out, but how does it appear on all 3 reports, and why didn't it show up when I was paying the debt?", "summary": "Got in debt. Sat on debt for a year. Paid debt in full at once. Credit report clean and happy. Check 2 years later. Debt apparently went to collections and now I owe twice as much."} {"id": "t3_2knzyp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my GF [22 F] of 3 years, no sex and considering a breakup", "post": "This past weekend my girlfriend of three years went to her college homecoming and I spent the weekend at home. On Saturday I found myself extremely bored and all of my friends were busy, so I went for a drive to kill time until one of them could hang later.\n\nDuring this drive I just listened to music and thought....\n\nI recognized that I hate being home and really want to go live life because I'm 22. I wanna live back in the city (where college was) with my friends and have tons to do again. I'm just becoming very unhappy at home and as I'm applying for tons of jobs, just want to make sure that I don't pass up any decisions or opportunities.\n\nMy GF of three years works for her family's business and plans to continue it with no real flexibility on leaving the area. We have been very close friends for around 8 or 9 years now and started dating 3 years ago. I've been starting to get frustrated because we still haven't had sex yet and now that we are both living at home again there is pretty much 0 alone time. I think that the living situation is making me more frustrated about no sex and the entire relationship, but with my new feelings towards my own life, I feel like our relationship has hit quite the standstill and we've grown apart or differently. I'm now noticing major differences with our interests and what's important to us individually.\n\nI love my girlfriend, and care about her a lot. Our relationship has been great, but considering everything I'm feeling, I'm curious if it's still the best thing for me? I don't necessarily want to break up, but I sure as hell don't want to miss opportunities or throw away my 20's in my hometown. Between this and no-sex, I just don't know if I can go on doing this.\nThe whole thing has me feeling really confused, upset, worried and nervous. I'm not sure what to do or how to handle it. Part of me feels like I should wait and see where I get a job or plan to live before making any decisions because with that might come improvement to our relationship, but I'm just looking for some advice and opinions...", "summary": "Not sure what to do with my life. Currently living at home but want to move back into a city. GF of 3 years isn't open to re-locating and I'm not sure if this is what I want anymore."} {"id": "t3_22ct6c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my Ex [19 F] she starts initiating conversation after over a year of silence, then stops when I start initiating...what gives?", "post": "My ex and I had a fairly rocky break up, it didn't end because we stopped loving each other but for other reasons. We were trying to stay friends but communicating quickly died down as she got a new boyfriend fairly quick and we didn't speak for about a year and a half.\n\nThen suddenly out of nowhere right before Christmas she sends me a message on Facebook asking how I'm doing and that it is so nice to talk to me again. We talk for a good hour or so before she says she should go to bed because she's got work, but before she leaves she asks if I still have the same number and I say that I do and she says \"well here's mine in case you lost it: XXXXXXXXXXX. Good night, hope we can talk again soon :)\"\n\nAnd that was that, I didn't try talking to her since she had a boyfriend and I didn't want to be that annoying ex so a few more months went by and in March she suddenly messaged me again saying she saw something on TV that reminded me of her and we spoke for a few hours before she went to bed. I checked her profile and noticed suddenly that it no longer said she was in a relationship and I remembered she changed her profile picture to one of just her a few weeks back. After this I tried initiating conversation a few times, she took about 2 days to respond the first time, but I didn't mind. But I noticed that her messages seemed quite short and uninterested with the exception of a few and she''s not initiating any conversations...so...what gives?", "summary": "My ex starts talking to me after one and a half years of radio silence and when I started initiating conversation with her she seems to have stopped...What's going on?"} {"id": "t3_1djqhe", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (19f) go to uni with(20m) and can't tell if he is interested", "post": "Basically we met at uni, have a few classes together and seem to get on well. When we first met I had boyfriend, but i broke up with him a month ago and have been single ever since. We recently had a uni break and he added me on fb and we have chatted a few times. It all seems pretty good but I just can't read him. I can't tell if he just wants to be friends or more. \n\nI just got out of 2yr relationship and just don't know if i can be bothered to deal with the \"game\".\nShould i be upfront with him? Ask him if he is interested or just wait. I know it's pretty early days, but I just don't like the feeling of waiting around for something that may never happen.\nWe kind of spoke about what we would want out of relationships, pretty casual/organic flowing but I couldn't tell if he was initiating anything or just for conversation :/", "summary": "Met a really cute guy, want to have fun with him, start something casual but can't tell if he wants it back. Should i just be super upfront or just keep waiting"} {"id": "t3_2jsrar", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 M] with my wife [30 F] dated 6 years, married 1, wants a lavish lifestyle with no work", "post": "I met my wife in college and we hit it off pretty quickly. I'm a laid back career-minded individual and my wife is more of a fun-loving type A. I was raised in a family that has lived on both ends of the economic spectrum. We've been so poor that we were near homeless, and we've also been a family making a decent 6 figure wage. My wife was raised in a family that has always been well off, as her dad is a VP at a large company. Her mother has always been a stay at home mom, as her dad's income was more than enough for the family. I come from a home where everyone has worked since they were first able.\n\nWe've been together a total of 7 years, and we started together in a tiny one bedroom apartment in college. She didn't complain when we lived there, but she understandably said she wanted to have more space. Since then, I've gotten a career and make pretty good money for my age. I showed her the houses that were available for what we make after budgeting and she wasn't satisfied. I told her that if she was willing to work, we could move into a large home, so she got a job.\n\nSince then she has decided that she hates work and isn't cut out for it. She talks about how much she hates it at least 2-3 times a week. I told her she could quit and we could move some place smaller, but she wants to have her cake and eat it too; she refuses to accept the idea that we'd have to move into a smaller home. I told her as long as she wants to live in a large house, we have to both be working. \n\nI've talked to her about getting a different job. I talked to her about doing her resume, helping her find another career, but she isn't interested. The only acceptable outcome for her is to not have to work but live in a house we cannot afford (which I am unwilling to put us through).\n\nHow do I get through to her?", "summary": "My wife wants to live outside of our means, and complains about having to work to achieve it. How do I get through to her?"} {"id": "t3_2u38ja", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [21/f] looks immensely different (in a good way) with makeup and her wig on, and it's starting to bother me [25/m].", "post": "Throwaway since my girlfriend occasionally browses reddit. \n\nWe have been together for a little over two years. We met online when we first began dating. I was baffled that someone as good looking as her was on a dating website. \n\nShe is easily a 10/10, skinny, super long brown hair, thick eyelashes, rosy cheeks and smooth skin. \n\nAt least that's what i thought. I found out within the first month of us dating that her hair is a wig. For the first 6 months, she tried to keep it on as much as possible, but had to take it off to sleep. She has alopecia and her real hair is very short and is in fact bald in some places. \n\nI was okay with this.. Until then she started removing her makeup too. Totally different person. She has very uneven toned skin, literally no eyebrows, and almost no eyelashes. If you saw her without her wig and makeup you would think she was actually a different girl. \n\nAt first these things didn't bother me, until recently. I know she is VERY self conscious of the way she looks, which is why she does herself up real nice, so i could never bring it up. It is annoying to see pictures of her and have memories of her as this beautiful princess, but come home to a girl who looks nothing like what i thought. \n\nI know this sounds shallow but i need some advice. I rarely see her looking nice anymore, as now she feels comfortable enough to be bare-faced and wiggless around me all the time. Thanks.", "summary": "Girlfriend looked like a 10/10 until i found out she wears a wig and 10lbs of makeup. At first this didn't bother me but now it does."} {"id": "t3_48oku0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] and my long-time crush [21 F]broke contact but after 6 months she wrote", "post": "Hello Reddit!\nLast october I told this girl my feelings towards her, but her response was what I've known but I had a lot to go through so I went along. Yes, it was a No. We were really close best friends, but for the past 2 years I felt a lot more( this as background). We've known each other for 9 years now, we were dating at the very beginning. I told her that I can't see her in order to help myself forget and move on, so I asked her not to write me or call me. Today is/was my birthday, and she wrote me, and told me the she's sorry to break my wish, but it's my birthday so she had to write. It pains me, I have to admit that she wrote me, I feel very down once again. The question I want to ask is, whether I should her write back anything at all or no? We are mature and quite different from our generation.\nThanks in advance!", "summary": "Broke contact with crush for forever, she wrote me happy birthday how are you, made me go sad and let down, should I even write her back anything?"} {"id": "t3_1dagud", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] have a crush on a coworker [19F]; dunno what to do about it", "post": "In a nutshell, I [21M] have a coworker at the hookah lounge we work at. We normally don't work together these days (I work Mon-weds, she [19F] works Fri-Sun), but I stop by and visit at least once a week.\n\nI was broken up with by a girl I was in a very serious relationship with over a year ago, and honestly, my coworker is the first person since that has made me feel legitimately okay again. She's gorgeous, and the most caring and sweet person in the world. I'm always extremely comfortable with her, and since the day she started working we've both been constantly poking fun at each other (Water pistols, poking jokes at each other, etc).\n\nSo I guess it basically narrows down to a few major factors, that I'd really like some advice/pointers on:\n\n*I've no idea how to even go about asking her out these days; my last relationship just kinda happened\n\n*I'm still not sure if it would be a good idea, even if we do normally never work with each other\n\nSo, what does Reddit think about this situation?", "summary": "I [21M] have a huge and growing crush on my coworker [19F]; too dense to figure out what to do"} {"id": "t3_2pe80x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27f] am in a happy, long term relationship but I still check on my ex-bfs new gfs FB because I worry that he abuses her, the way he abused me.", "post": "Exactly what the title says. \n\nHe was violent, and made me feel crazy. He never left marks that people could see. He was your typical manipulative, mean, narcissistic ex-bf. The kind your parents warn you about. I was with him for one year. I saw how he treated his girlfriends prior to me, and still dated him anyway. I had to have my older brothers and cops present in order to break up with him safely. We dated over five years ago. \n\nHe has now been with this girl for a year or so I think. They moved together to a very far away part of my country where neither of them know anyone. I can see the little changes in her, even through her mostly-private FB page. She wears less makeup now, she doesn't post as many selifes, her friends list has dwindled. \n\nI don't have any lingering feelings for my ex, AT ALL. Any feelings at all would be pity and anger. I worry about her. I worry that she is trapped, the way that I was and that she has no one around to help her.\n\nIs it wrong of me to check on her FB sometimes? Is it unhealthy? I mean, I know it's unhealthy and their relationship isn't my problem, but, I know how she must be feeling, or will be feeling soon. \n\nHow do I stop myself from worrying about her?", "summary": "I was in an abusive relationship 5 years ago. He has a new gf now. I check her fb once in a while to see if she is okay. Is that bad?"} {"id": "t3_4btubf", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Can my boss take money out of my paycheck if I'm not going against my contract?", "post": "So I'm quitting my job and gave my two week notice to my boss. I offered to stay longer than two weeks but he seems to not care about when I go. In my contract, I get 8 paid days off. I have only taken 6 so far. I told my boss today that I have not used all my paid days off and would like to use the remaining two next week. His response was that he doesn't want to pay for my vacation since I'm leaving on short notice. I'm not leaving on short notice-- two weeks is protocol everywhere. There is nothing in my contract that says it has to be approved, whether those days are sick or vacation, etc. It literally just says \"8 paid sick and personal\". So if I do just wing it and take my days off, can he take it out of my paycheck?", "summary": "can my boss take money out of my paycheck for days taken off even though it is outlined in my contract that I am allowed to take those days off? "} {"id": "t3_1rfm4w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] am extremely stressed, possibly depressed, but keeping it together somehow.", "post": "I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, sorry!\n\nRecently I seem to be digging myself a hole and falling deeper into a more stressed state of mind. This coupled with the fact that I may be dealing with a mild case of depression is basically causing me to feel a little \"off\".\n\nI work 50-60 hours a week, and attend college full time. It's a chore, and next week is finals week and the pressure is pulling me apart. I do have a vacation starting this Saturday, so I have work off over finals, but it can't come any sooner.\n\nMy social life is a complete non-existant wreck, and I think this is my problem. I work in a restaurant environment as a manager, and policy dictates that I cannot talk to employees outside of work. It's understandable. The college I go to is a community college and I haven't met anyone there who I would be remotely interested in hanging out with, and theres little social life on campus.\n\nSo basically...", "summary": "I'm an overworked, stressed, friend-less college student who needs advice on what to do because the light in the tunnel has burnt out and I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_4w121n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend and I [18 M] just broke up because we wanted different things. I am asking for advice and stories to help get through the breakup.", "post": "My girlfriend and I just broke up because she wanted to be free for college, and I am looking for a long term (monogamous) relationship.\n\nA little backstory: My exgirlfriend and I founded our relationship on the thought of being life partners. She broke up with me after a year and 1/2 because she wants to be a \"bad girl\" and have fun in college and not be tied down. All I ever want is to find my life partner and enjoy life in a relationship. I know I am young to want that, but I don't enjoy hooking up and meaningless sex and relationships. The last year and 1/2 I was the happiest I have ever been because I love everything that goes along with a long term relationship. I enjoy parties but only if my SO is there, I enjoy everything that couples do, I love being loved by someone unconditionally, basically everything that comes along with being a couple I enjoy. I am going to be a freshman in college this fall and since the ending of my previous relationship all I want is another one, with someone who wants the same things I want.\n\nMy biggest fear is that in college many people are going to be looking to have fun and not looking to be in a long term relationship. \n\nJust a few questions. Please share your stories and opinions as openly as only redditers are known to do, just do so positively:\n\n1) Are there people in college looking for the same thing that I am?\n\n2) What can I do to prevent myself from hopping into a relationship that isn't right for me because I am desperate to be in a relationship?\n\n3) Has this happened to anyone else? (Success Stories?)\n\nMy hope is for these comments to re-assure me and everyone else reading about what great things are out there. I would like this to be a light in the dark compared to most of the negative posts on this thread. Please limit comments to constructive criticism and positive comments/stories. Thank you.", "summary": "I'm looking for advice/stories on how to get over someone & reassurance that people are looking for the same things I am looking for."} {"id": "t3_1bdahl", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, when have you had to hurt someone you loved in order to do the right thing?", "post": "I just wrote a nice long letter to my ex. Informing her I can't continue to be in her life. We had hooked up not long ago and rekindled some bottled up emotions. But she decided she didn't want to pursue that with me. And I'll live. But we are so close that it started to turn me into her close friend that she talked about other relationships with... somehow we jumped into me becoming her gay friend that she talked about other guys being jerks to her. It causes me severe emotional pain to listen to her talk about other guys. So I wrote her a letter detailing my feelings. I had more than one thing I wanted to tell her and I needed it all to be well worded and put out there. I knew going forward I would just be causing myself misery if I let myself become that sort of friend to her. I was torn between being that friend and not having her in my life at all. I decided it was best for us both if I was no longer in her life. I would just end up confessing yo her down the line that I still loved her, and keep causing confused feelings between us. \n\nI wrote out this long letter. She took a day to respond but when she did she told me I had hurt her like never before, that she was an idiot for thinking I wouldn't have done so to her. Mind you when we broke up it was because she texted me saying \"I got the abortion\" when I was never told she was pregnant... She was hurt by me? Please.\n\nI know it was the right move to get away from her. She has issues and I'm unwilling to deal with them. But those issues are easy to forget when you are with her. And I love her an awful lot despite everything.", "summary": "I told my ex we can't be friends and she hates me for it. But it was for the best. "} {"id": "t3_31rf5a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29F] with my cousin [29M] for 29 years, family and friends have serious problems with his fianc\u00e9", "post": "My cousin has been with his gf (now fianc\u00e9) for about 6 years. Our group of friends and my family think that she acts childish, rude, entitled and sometimes confrontational. Oddly enough, he is incredibly level-headed, calm and abnormally intelligent. We believe he isn't oblivious to some of her behavior but lets it go on without formally addressing it with her. We have held our tongues for years to avoid an uncomfortable situation, but some of us are hitting a breaking point. What is the best way to handle this? I should also mention that my cousin and I have been very close since we were kids and live in the same area, so this is someone I see frequently. Socially distancing myself is an option but the idea of that makes me sad and I think its worse in the long run. Has anyone dealt with this before?", "summary": "Family has long-term issues with my cousin's girlfriend (now fianc\u00e9). What is the best way to handle this?"} {"id": "t3_30o0m4", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [25f] found out my mother [50f] is selling sex and I don't know if dad [60m] knows. I want to help, should I tell them I know?", "post": "Throwaway account for anonymity, even though my parents don't use Reddit, I think this situation may blow up and I have friends and family that reddit.\n\nMy mum has been sleeping with this man for a while, I'm not sure if he's still paying for it, or if they even still see each other. I don't know if any other men are involved. I don't know if dad had any say in this arrangement. It's obvious he at least knows 'something is up', but whether he knows everything is questionable. My mum is going to tell the wife what has been happening, I'd be willing to bet money that dad doesn't know about the confession. My parents marriage has been rocky for a while, but I don't think they'll ever divorce.\n\nI accidentally saw the confession letter, that's how I know this is true. This isn't a shock to me at all, my husband and I have joked about how much it fills in the gaps in my mums behaviour.\n\nMy husband and I both agree that I have some similar life experience that could help my mum and dad. But how do I bring it up without admitting to seeing the confession? Do I just come out and say it but risk pushing her away? Do I leave hints and open conversation towards that direction in a welcoming and non-judgemental way? Do I wait and see if this situation blows up and the whole family learns about it before I offer my help?\n\nMy mum and I are close, we see each other regularly. Although it's obvious we don't see each other as a trustworthy source of wise advice for our inner demons.", "summary": "My mum is telling the wife of her client(?) that he is paying her for sex. I have some life experience that I could help my parents put this behind them. How do I tactfully offer my help?"} {"id": "t3_ko7fe", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Bankruptcy options", "post": "Back in 2008, I had just moved out, I was making okay money for the time, but using up 95-100% of my income on expenses. The market went to hell, and as I was in a commissioned job so went my paycheck. Being the stupid kid i was I lived on credit cards for a few months before I got another job that gave me a steady paycheck.\n\nSomehow I was still stupid and still lived on 95-100% of my income barely being able to pay off what I owed. I got behind. Fast forward to april of this year, I lost my job. with no savings whatsoever I'm not sure how I've fed myself and kept a roof over my head.\n\nAll my debts combined come to about $13,000. My new job is a commissioned only job, and tomorrow I find out if the deal goes through. If it does I'll take home a pre-tax $15,000 check in about a month.\n\nI have a small amount of credit available to me in the form of a loan from friend, with this I could file bankruptcy before I get my check, pay the 800 dollars in bankruptcy fee's and start off with some savings. The other option would be to pay my creditors and start with nothing. The nothing scares me, I am very broke. If things don't work out tomorrow, I'll be giving my landlord my notice, and moving into my car. How I'll eat or pay for gas is beyond me.", "summary": "In Personal Finances opinion would it be better to go bankrupt and have some emergency fund or pay my creditors and not have that bankruptcy in my background for the next 10 years."} {"id": "t3_3yai4n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 3 weeks, wants to take things slow. give me some advises.", "post": "So we started to seeing each other since early September. 3 weeks in since official. She wants to take things slow and added that she doesn't feel like she really knows me and that we need to get to know each other better. I know that she still likes me and she is doing this cause this isn't a little fling or just for fun she wants this to work. \nSo my question is what and how should I approach this \"doing it slow\"? I know I need to take it day by day and have quality times together and do things memorable. Can you guys give me some tips?\nThanks a lot.", "summary": "My gf wants to take things slow and I know she still likes me and wants us to work. How should I approach this?"} {"id": "t3_2jhky9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 M] with my first boyfriend [21 M] 4 months, He has chosen someone else because I didn't commit earlier. Is there a chance this won't last long and we will get back together?", "post": "Ive had my first gay relationship with a guy who is a bit younger than me. Aside from the age difference we have a lot in common and the last 4 months have been the happiest Ive ever been.\n\nThe problem is that I was away out of town for 3 weeks. We had not been official or exclusive, and since I returned he said he's met someone else.\nI told him how I felt about him, and he said the reason was that he didn't think I wanted anything serious. After a lot of discusion, he then said that he would end it with the new guy.\n\nFast forward two weeks, and we've had lots of conversations and crying and making up, but he's chosen the other guy - who unbeknown to any of us until right now is an acquiantance of mine.\n\nWhen we were together he used to say the most loving, kind things, and right up until 2 weeks ago was still calling me babe and sending sweet messages.\n\nI guess, since it's my first realtionship, I wanted to know what you guys thought of the possibility that we'd get back together? Do these things happen? Or is that it? He says he never wants to lose me as a friend, and I don't want to lose him. The other guy is 24.\n\nI've spent all day crying over this. I never thought I'd get so emotional.", "summary": "Guy I was casually seeing ended it with me because I didn't tell him how I felt early enough. Is it possible we'll get back together?"} {"id": "t3_4f14se", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27M] with my ex-GF [24F] of 8 months, she has mental health issues, can we still be friends?", "post": "So my GF broke up with me today and was very disrespectful, as she was the last time she dumped me. This makes the 4th time she's dumped me. But she always comes back within a week.\n\nShe has generalized anxiety disorder and possibly PTSD from childhood abuse. I can handle the breakups but i cannot handle the disrespect. I've decided i cannot get back together with her.\n\nI love her and wish we could be together. But i can't let her treat me this way. it damages my respect for her when she disrespects me without cause, and it causes me alot of stress too.\n\nMy question is; can we still be friends?\n\nI'm very tempted to ask to be 'friends with benefits' as well. not because i enjoy our sex (i don't really enjoy any sex very much lol) but more so because i am still in love with her... This seems like a bad idea and a recipe for dysfunction... but it is very tempting. a way of being with her without her being able to break up with me... \n\nshe is very respectful when we're together. and regrets her disrespect afterwards. and she genuinely loves me and misses me. But her GAD kicks in when thinking about the future and she lashes out at me and runs away. Before inevitably recanting...\n\nany thoughts or anecdotes would be appreciated", "summary": "can i be friends with my mentally unstable ex? can we be 'friends with benefits' if i'm still in love with her?"} {"id": "t3_2a0mmt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (27m) cut things off with (26f) after three weeks. No issues with the girl, just couldn't commit. I feel awful.", "post": "Ok, so my girlfriend of 3 years and myself broke up two and a half months ago. Two months later I met a new girl (\"Sally\"). We hit it off quickly and hung out a ton for three weeks. But over the last week, I noticed I was unintentionally pushing myself away.\n\nFast forward to last weekend and I pretty much told her I wasn't ready to date. I made her cry and I feel horrible. I'm a good guy and rarely am the one ending things. I feel bad because I feel like it may have worked if the timing was different. At the time we started hanging out I think I was trying to tell myself I was ready. But after hanging out, getting attached, getting comfortable, it was just hitting me as too much to fast. \n\nI feel horrible sleeping with her and leading her on. But I felt I had to be honest as soon as I began feeling uneasy. \n\nDid I make the wrong decision? Should I have waited longer to see what happens?", "summary": "I hurt a really nice person because I don't think I'm ready to date again and feel terrible about it. Not sure if I did the right thing and can't help but feel bad and guilty about what happened."} {"id": "t3_4umg1m", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "How do you feel about men complimenting your appearance when you aren't well acquainted with them?", "post": "Say for example, there's a guy with whom you're only slightly acquaintanced. He's never expressed romantic interest in you, nor have you really gotten to know each other especially well. He has not hitherto done anything particularly inappropriate; at most, you might have caught him glancing in your direction a few times.\n\nLet's say you're dressed up someday, for whatever reason, and you bump into him at lunch time. He sees you and strikes up a conversation. Then after you've been chatting for a few minutes, he turns to you, smiles, and says, \"you look really nice today, by the way.\"\n\nHow would you react in this situation? Would you give him a sincere thank you, or would you quickly walk away without any further eye contact made? How would it make you feel for him to say that? Would you feel violated? Objectified? Would it cross a personal boundary, and would it be unsettling enough for you to cause significant distress? Is there anyone here who would be flattered?", "summary": "Guy you don't know well sees you dressed up and gives you a sincere, respectful compliment. How does it make you feel?"} {"id": "t3_p063r", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "saved extra for taxes, now have about $6k. How can I intelligently dispose of this windfall?", "post": "The title really says it all. I just got back my tax documentation from the tax company and apparently I owe about six thousand dollars less than I saved for taxes. Essentially, I have $6k extra. **I WILL NOT JUST SPEND THIS MONEY ON A \"GOOD TIME\"!!** So don't even suggest it. I have been living paycheck to paycheck for months and this $6k represents my entire net worth at this point in time. What I want to know is easy. How can I handle this money to make it work for me? I don't know a lot about investments and it seems to me like investments should always be made when you have hundreds of thousands or even more money which i don't have. But I also don't want to be an idiot with this extra cash. So how can I use it smartly? What I'd like, I could do something with it that would either A) help pay for my kids college in 18 years or B) increase the money by a noticable amount in six months or so. Don't forget that i can't affort to simply lose this money or else I'd head down to the casino with my boys and leave the babys mama at home.", "summary": "What can I do with $6k to make it work for me (and not squander it on a one-time only thing)?"} {"id": "t3_1m4qyf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M/22] have/am developing feelings for a close friend [F/18] and just need some advice and to get it off my chest.", "post": "We met about a year ago through some on-campus activities and we have become very close in the interim. We are bordering on \"best friend\" status if you will...we share our problems and a lot of other fairly personal stuff with each other, talk and text often, and spend quite a bit of time together at social gatherings.\n\nI guess the issue is that I'm fairly certain she isn't interested. I'm not her type from what I've gathered and was basically told I've been \"friendzoned\" in a roundabout way. She is out of my league as well if I'm honest.\n\nAnd yet, knowing all of this, I am still developing (or perhaps it would be better to say *have developed*) feelings. I would love to have a deeper relationship. I worry about her, and although I have absolutely no right and I know it, it annoys me when she hangs on other guys at parties and such and they hit on her, or talks to me too much about men she's interested in. I'm not willing to say anything because I don't want to damage our friendship so I've taken a hands-off approach, even as I worry myself to death and try to keep an eye on her (she tends to drink a bit too much and get fairly handsy at parties so a lot of guys take that as an invitation even when it isn't.) Last party a guy she thought was just being friendly tried to have sex with her and she got creeped out and the first thing she did was come find me. Apparently I'm just a \"classy motherfucker\" becuase I don't try anything while she's messed up and take care of her. I'm not sure how I should take that either.\n\nSo ya I guess I'm just frustrated and confused. I'm not sure how I should be handling the situation and my feelings towards her. It's kinda maddening.", "summary": "I've developed feeling for a girl I'm nearly best friends with and am not sure what if anything I should do about it."} {"id": "t3_4b2bpp", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My girlfriend [20F] and I [21M] want to move in together. Her parents are problematic", "post": "First, we've been dating about 7 months now. However, we've known each other personally for 7 years.\n\nAnyway, we decided to move in together because,\n\n1) It would be cheaper \n\n2) We work opposite shifts, so living together would give us more time together\n\n3) We've agreed we wouldn't want to get married before we live together for at least a year, and we feel close enough with our relationship dynamic being perfect right now that it's a very real possibility to happen soon.\n\nNow her parents are very strict Christians. I'm atheist and she's pantheist, so we don't hold the same ideals. However they are extremely against living together before marriage and really controlling on this aspect. She doesn't want to tell them before she moves out, but they want to be involved in the apartment search.\n\nThe likely scenario is after we move in together, her whole family stops talking to her for a few years. That's exactly what happened to every other sibling that did the same thing, and she said she would be devastated and wants to wait to say anything for as long as possible. Any suggestions?", "summary": "Long time friend, shorter term girlfriend wants to move in together, but if she does her whole family disowns her for a few years or permanently. Suggestions?"} {"id": "t3_1rfftc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend(F18) doesn't want to be intimate with me(M20) anymore, won't talk to me about it.", "post": "I made an account for this post because it is driving me crazy. First a little background.\n\nBoth of us come from mildly religious families and though we haven't explicitly talked about it, we would both like to wait to have sex until we're married. We've been dating for a little over 8 months and everything else about the relationship is great.\n\nSometimes in the past, we have gotten a little intimate(if we are just laying together in bed etc.) with some sexual activity such as breast play or manual stimulation and she loves it. She really gets into it and we both have our boundaries for what kind of sexual activity we want before we're married, but this is something we both get into. She's even orgasmed a few times just from stimulation through her clothes. Anyway I think its a great time but recently(the past few weeks) she's pulled away from that sort of thing massively. She doesn't want any of that anymore and she won't kiss me much either. Intimacy is important for me and I asked her about it before, to which she responded that she just doesn't want to kiss me all the time and was angry that I brought it up.\n\nShe doesn't want to talk about it and makes me feel bad every time I try to talk about it, saying that I always find something to complain about. This is killing me because I always try to initiate even just kissing and she rejects me every time. I don't know how to tell her this is bothering me without her thinking I'm just complaining about everything, and I don't know if there's anything I could do to help the situation.", "summary": "generic thread about girlfriend not wanting to be intimate anymore, can't talk to her because she gets angry and it's killing my self esteem"} {"id": "t3_3ttpyz", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by accidentally committing credit card fraud and ruining a birthday surprise", "post": "It's my wife's birthday in 2 weeks so I decided to buy her something really nice. Yesterday while she was out on an errand I snuck out and bought a very expensive Cartier item, making it back home before she got back.\n\nThis morning she wakes me up and shows me her phone with a worried look on her face. On it there's a message from her bank warning her that a very large purchase was made on her credit card. I jump out of bed, yelling \"what the fuck!\" and grab my wallet, finding inside my wife's, identical to my own, credit card rather than my card.\n\nThe night before we went to dinner and must have switched our cards after paying. Kinda shocked that Cartier didn't bother to check the name on the card as we have completely different names.", "summary": "Accidentally bought wife a $1400 gift with her own credit card. Didn't notice till the day after, effectively stole her identity and ruined the birthday surprise."} {"id": "t3_3yfr2m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Advice for My Depressingly Adventurous Dating Situation (M,21 and F,22)", "post": "Okay Redditors,\n\nThere she was, the most beautiful (I mean, she was dangerously attractive) girl I'd laid eyes on. I took a class with her but never imagined she'd be interested so I never said much to her. She messages me the last week of class, out of nowhere, to tell me how attracted she is to me and how intelligent she thinks I am. I'm floored because, frankly, this girl is way out of my league. \n\nSo I've seen her a few times in the past 2-3 weeks since this happened. She's really cool, but we have huge differences. I'm pretty devoutly religious and she really has no clue what she believes right now. She's a bit wilder than I am too, in terms of partying and alcohol and such. I'm pretty open-minded, so it's been fun and challenging (enjoyably so) to be with someone so different than me. \n\nThe more I'm getting to know her, though, I'm growing doubtful of what steps to take. She's depressed, and says she feels no purpose (religious or otherwise) in life. I've been there before and I'm trying to show her love and support through this, but she's pushing me away. We had a date planned later this week that she thinks we should call off. She says she's attracted to me but often tries to convince me that she's no good for me, and that she's undeserving of my love. \n\nWhat should I do? Her happiness and wellbeing is most important to me, and I'm not sure how to extricate that from romantic implications. Work your magic, Reddit.", "summary": "Gorgeous girl (22) I've been seeing has depression and other issues, and I (M, 21) am not sure how to help."} {"id": "t3_3qwql5", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[GA] Eviction notice listed on ex-girlfriend's record despite this not being the case.", "post": "I live in Nevada, so I apologize in advance that I don't know what Georgia's laws are like in regards to renters' rights.\n\nMy ex-girlfriend (*who currently lives with me*) just applied to rent a condominium, but she got a call back this afternoon from the property management company that she has an eviction notice on her record which now puts the whole moving situation into jeopardy. \n\nWhen my girlfriend was living in Atlanta, she put in her 60-day notice at the apartment she was leasing on August 1st, 2014, as her lease was set to expire on October 12th, 2014. As we've been reaching out to see what's going on, we've discovered:\n\n1. The apartment complex in question never received my ex's notice to not extend the lease agreement. They have it on record that she agreed to renew her lease which is not the case considering she left the country to do fieldwork in Mexico. \n1. The apartment complex wants her to pay $1700 for a mixture of items such as for not paying rent, movings furniture out of the apartment (*which is false*), cleaning fees, etc. \n\nAfter trying to argue her case, the apartment complex is unwilling to help my ex out, we're at a loss to what her next steps would look like. How does she fight this despite being thousands of miles away?", "summary": "Apartment complex in Georgia \"lost\" my ex-girlfriend's notice of not renewing her lease agreement; put an eviction notice on her record. Loss at what next steps are."} {"id": "t3_4d536u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] with my crush [20 M], did I fuck things up?", "post": "So this guy who I've liked for some time asked me to hang out last week - we went out to dinner, hung out for awhile later, he seemed like he really wanted to continue talking (as did I) so we went back to my room as well and talked further. He had also asked me to get coffee the week before that, and that was really fun too. However, nothing happened physically - we didn't even hug. I may have given off some standoffish vibes. He kept saying that we should meet up, go see a movie together, hang out over the summer, that I should visit him in his dorm, etc. He also was complimenting me a lot. Overall it seemed like a date, and that he was interested. Looking back, I may not have seemed super interested since I didn't try to hug him, didn't compliment him a ton, etc. The reality is, though, that I really like him, but am unfortunately not very good at showing it. \n\nAnyway, we hung out again yesterday (I asked him to get dinner), and things seemed kind of different. We had a nice conversation as always, lots of laughter, but it just seemed like he was being more platonic. I was going to invite him to do something with me afterwards, but he mentioned he had to go study so I didn't. Every time we've hung out previously he's ended by saying we should hang out again, but he didn't this time. I guess I also walked away kind of quickly from him at the end. Sigh, I keep doing that. Probably the underlying problem here is that I'm just pretty shy. \n\nHas he lost interest? Should I try to pursue him, or is it too late? I'm considering just straight up telling him that I like him, but I don't know if the timing is now wrong.", "summary": "Not sure if I've fucked things up with the guy I like by being really bad at showing signs of interest, and what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_r7xr1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "So confused..", "post": "I guess I just would like to talk about how I feel and see if this is normal. \n\nQuick back story, I am 24/m and GF is 22, we have been dating for 2 years 7 months, this is my third long term GF and I am her first. This is my longest relationship and I always do the breaking up. Things just start irritating me more, I start thinking about how I could be happier and I notice that I start to project what my PERFECT girl qualities would be on other women, just women I see on the street or at work and imagine how I would be so much happier with that person, and how I am so unhappy with my current GF which lead me to the eventual break up. I never look back either.\n\nIt is happening now with my current GF. She is amazing and like no other girl I dated, she is so smart (3.89 GPA and a Bio major from a good school and will be in med school next year), driven, funny, and BEAUTIFUL! \n\nBut lately I have started to get those feelings and we have been fighting more. She is a very, idk how to put it, cold hearted? Not very emotional towards me, constantly takes things out on me during school (we barely talk during finals week for her because she is so stressed) and she has been saying things that make me think she really isn't that nice of a person inside. I am in grad school with a BA in sociology, and many times before she has said rude/condescending remarks about my schooling and career goals (law enforcement after grad school). She gets this behavior from her parents, mainly her mother, just very fake and mean spirited people, but extremely nice on the outside. \n\nI feel guilty thinking like this because I do love her and don't want to leave her, but then another part of me does and I am so torn apart.", "summary": "Getting feelings like I want to move on, but i also want to stay together... curious on why i always get like this in relationships."} {"id": "t3_zttsq", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Roommate assaulted other roommate, then he moved out, stopped paying rent leaving us to cover his share - How do we get paid back in small claims court?", "post": "Ok here's the deal.\nI used to live in a 4BR house with 3 other guys.\nShortly after rent was due in April, we found out the the roommate in question, we'll call him Arnie, didn't pay his share of the rent.\n\nIt's important to know that Arnie and one of my other roommates, Tom, don't get along at all. So one night, Arnie has his dad over. I figured they were just hanging out and drinking together but later they confront Tom about something. After Tom asked them to leave, the altercation gets physical. Tom calls the police and Arnie and his father end up going to jail. Arnie for battery, his father for battery and strangulation.\n\nObviously, Arnie couldn't continue living with us. On the cops recommendation, we ask Arnie to move out with the expectation that'd he'd finish paying out his share of the lease. Two weeks into April, he finally moves out, but neglected to pay April rent. He also informs us that he will no longer be paying rent leaving us to cover his share for April, May, June, and July until the end of the lease.\n\nSo now were going to small claims court to get paid back for the rent, as well as some money for utilities, and I was just hoping somebody could offer some tips. \n\nOur lease dosen't really discuss this type of situation. It does state we are all jointly responsible for ensuring rent gets paid but most of the language there just seems to protect the landlords from getting screwed, not us.\n\nI've never been to court before so I have no idea how this works or what to say. Do we have a chance to get our money back? I definitely think he should have to pay us back at least for April plus utilities, but I'm not sure about the rest. It doesn't seem fair that he could just assault one of us and just move out without paying anything the rest of the lease does it?\nthanks any help! oh and were in Indiana", "summary": "Roommate assaults another roommate, moves out, stops paying rent leaving us to cover his share. Can we get our money back in small claims court?"} {"id": "t3_543skd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (21F) boyfriend (30) of 2 years just admitted to me he doesn't want kids.", "post": "I'm just... a total mess right now. I KNOW this is a deal breaker. He's always said he wanted kids with me since the beginning of our relationship. But now, he says he's been thinking for a while about this, and has decided he doesn't. I love this guy to death, but this isn't something we can compromise on. I know that. It's always been my dream to have them. Just 2 or 3. I'm writing this between sobs. We are... soulmates in every other way. This is the end. I have to accept that. We're gonna have to break up right? There's no two ways about this. I just can't believe this is happening. We planned our lives together. It's come crashing down, and I am broken hearted. I love him so much. I never thought I'd be in this sub for personal reasons. I wish him so much happiness, and I guess I can't be the one to give him that. I don't even know what I'm asking for here. I just can't believe it. Any advice? I'm dreading the talk. So much.", "summary": "Boyfriend has decided he doesn't want kids. My head is reeling. I know we have to break up. Advice?*"} {"id": "t3_2ytker", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (F/25) talk to my dad (M/66) about bankruptcy?", "post": "About 15 years ago my parents bought a business together. Due to a combination of factors (recession, competition moving in) the business is no longer profitable. They opened a side business about two years ago that is profitable but a competitor just announced they are opening next year.\n\nBoth my parents work 60+ hour a week, are in their 60s and are barely drawing salaries from the company. This is not sustainable. My biggest fear (and it is selfish) is one of them works themselves into a heart attack, etc and I have to return home and figure out what to do with a failing business. I am an only child so when (and its not if, its when) something happens it will be entirely on me to figure out what to do. Also in that scenario there would be no luxury of time - without both of them working 60+ hours a week the place would come to a halt almost immediately. I'm feeling pretty paralyzed and stressed by this scenario. \n\nI would like to pro-actively talk with my dad this weekend about what to do. My mom has asked me to do this as she does not think she can keep going much longer. I think the first step is having them explore their options - talk to their lawyer and accountant about what it would really mean for them if they declared Bankruptcy (could they keep the house, etc). I realize this is going to be very painful and tough but at least having that information is the first step in figuring out a solution. \n\nLets say they lose their retirement accounts in bankruptcy. It would be awful, but there is no end of sight of them retiring with their current jobs. At least if they were free from it they could get true 9-5 jobs with less stress and continue working with an actual income. \n\nI'm wondering if anyone on here has suggestions about how to structure this conversation? I'm worried my dad will view me bringing this up as calling him a failure, etc. Any help would be appreciated.", "summary": "My parents run a failing business that is slowly killing them. I want to talk to my dad this weekend about options, but I'm not sure how to structure the conversation."} {"id": "t3_4cq9yk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My college SO and I [20M & 20F] are getting more distant, and it's hurting me. I don't think she knows. Looking for advice, because I'm in pain and angered.", "post": "My girlfriend and I are distant, but *we live on the same campus*, and it's killing me. \n\nI'm going to convey the situation in a series of small rants that have built up (that I haven't told her about yet (but I will)). Here they go:\n\n* Some days I feel loved, and other days I feel like I'm a complete thorn in her side. Like I have to pay her to show affection. \n\n* She says that she's been really stressed about school lately, and I understand that, because I am also stressed and very busy, but we've only hung out 4 times since the beginning of the semester. And I know that if she would even remotely seem interested, that I would make time for her. At this point, I've given up asking her to hang out or do anything. \n\n* We haven't had sex in ages, and when I told her I wanted to try to get more physical again, she told me she probably wasn't going to feel like having sex any time soon. What..? \n\n* At the same time, she'll tweet about how hot she thinks a certain celebrity is, etc. I know that sounds petty, and if the circumstances were different, I would agree. But reading stuff like that from a girl that can't seem to do anything with me is both hurtful and infuriating. \n\n--\n\nI understand that I need to talk to her, and that this seems partly like a communication issue; I am going to talk to her. I'm not looking for someone to tell me to work on communication. I am trying to get an idea of what you guys and gals think is going on, and what you would do, and how you would react in my position.", "summary": "my girlfriend is distant, but we live on the same campus. My feelings are getting more and more hurt, and I know I need to talk to her. Read full post if you're still confused. "} {"id": "t3_y533m", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I (M17) agreed to go on a date (F17) but now I am unsure.", "post": "So, I agreed to go on a date with a girl I've known for about a month because she asked me just to at least try things out and that's sort of my ethos in life, just try things to see if they work. Problem is, there really is a massive difference between us, for example she is very into drugs and generally lives life on the edge whereas I am against them and fairly boring. As far as I can see the only similarity between us is our music taste. I don't find her personality very attractive, or her physically very attractive. I'm considering cancelling it. What's the right thing to do? Cancel now so she doesn't get her hopes up, or go ahead with it whilst trying to keep an open mind by essentially knowing the outcome and then having to tell her it's a definite no? The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings D=", "summary": "I'm going on a date with a girl and I'm 100% sure it's not going to go anywhere, do I cancel or go anyway?"} {"id": "t3_1i3261", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/m] Need to know what you would do about this", "post": "Hello /r/relationship_advice, this is a throwaway cause friends know my account but I am in need of some help.\n\nSo my gf [f/21] and I have been dating for 5 years and are generally ok with not looking through each others phones because we trust each other. She has been known to go through mine, but not to the extent of, \"Who is this, what are you talking about, I must know everything!\" but just a grab it and scroll through.\n\nFast forward to yesterday, I run upstairs to use the bathroom and see her iPad on her bed so I grab it to play some games. She has the iPad set to where she can receive messages on it from her phone. I'm not sure even why, but curiosity got the better of me and I started browsing through them. I knew most of the numbers....except 1. So again, I click to see the conversation, and lo and behold its some conversation that I'm sure she would like for me to have not seen.\n\n There are messages from this guy in Pittburgh (we live in TX) saying he has \"a hard on\" and \"I want to see you naked\" and things like, \"what would you do to me if I was there.\" I thought the guy was just being creepy until I saw her responses where she said, \"I've told you what I would.\" and other things. Needless to say I was hurt beyond belief. I want to confront her about it and get the truth and break up, but I am one of those people who is too nice and can't seem to bring myself to do it.\n\nI don't want to do something brash or over the top because I really do care for her, but I want her to know I know. So my question to y'all is, how would you go about confronting her?", "summary": "Found dirty messages on gf's iPad, she seems to have had a relation behind my back, what do I do."} {"id": "t3_1v3cod", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Problems with phone usage between boyfriend [21/M] of a year and me [21/F].", "post": "I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, and we see each other about once a week with lots of texting in between. \n\nTexting is my least preferred method of conversation, but its the fastest and most consistent method we have of communication. I really like talking on the phone, but he can't stand it and tries to avoid making any phone calls he can. He is a great guy who answers my calls the few times I've made them.\n\nAbout a month ago, I brought all this up with him and asked if it were possible to have a ten minute phone call with him every now and then to replace some texting we do. He wasn't really on board but decided to try it. We had one extremely tense five minute conversation where he admitted it was only to please me, and then hung up. I felt like crap and haven't asked him for another phone call again. He hasn't called since, but continued like it never happened\n\nI want to keep this relationship, but some days texts aren't giving me the connection I need with him. Asking him to call me just makes me feel like the most horrible girlfriend ever and ends with a tense, uncomfortable conversation anyway. Is there any middle ground or should I just cope with the texts?", "summary": "I want to have phone conversations with boyfriend. He hates it. Whenever I bring it up, I feel like crap. Should I shut up and stick to texting?"} {"id": "t3_22o0jv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Do I (19/f) still want ex-boyfriend (19 m) in my life?", "post": "I can't decide if I should try to be friends at all with my ex. \n\nWe broke up in October after I left for college and he stayed home. \n\nSince then there hasn't really been a clean break (still have flirted and hooked up when i'm home) but he has told me several times, \"I've changed, I want to be single and do my own thing. I still care about you and there's still a special bond, just not romantic\" \n\nIt hurts every time. But I don't really want a relationship either. I just don't want to let go of the past, so I'm afraid of really breaking things off (no contact style) and not seeing him over the summer (even though he would still live in a different town, just closer)\n\nI just don't know if it's worth the stress or if it's what I really want. It kinda makes me sick to realize how much I think about it.", "summary": "not sure if I should do no contact with my -ex, break up was mutual and long distance so it makes things weird."} {"id": "t3_kld4s", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, my cheating ex-girlfriend is still using the disneyland annual pass that I got her, how can I cancel or block it?", "post": "So my ex and I broke up a few months ago after I found out that she was cheating on me, she took everything that she ever gave me back as well as some of my money, now I know she's still using the disneyland pass that I got her, and not only that she's using it so that she can go with the \"other guy.\" Not only does this upset me, but I could use the extra money. Is there any way I could cancel or block it? I tried calling Disneyland directly but no one there was of any help.", "summary": "cheating ex is using annual pass i'm still paying for while going with \"other guy,\" I want to cancel it."} {"id": "t3_dkris", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can someone please clarify what the point of the Rally to Restore Sanity will be?", "post": "Full disclosure: I'm a card carrying (moderate) Republican.\n\nWhen I first heard about the Rally to Restore Sanity I thought it would be perfect for people like me, considering the Republican Party has been pandering to grassroots whack-jobs my entire voting career (was just old enough to vote in 2004). \n\nBut the more I hear about the Rally to Restore Sanity (and see the people who support it) the more I question if its something that has a place for me. I'm worried it's going to be used for the purpose of bashing extreme conservatives like Beck, Palin, and O'Donnell (who deserve it) and make sure Democrats lose as few seats as possible this November. What I hoped for originally was a non-partisan rally to demonstrate the sheer number of moderates from both parties that all hope for political choices where there are choices between greater goods, not lesser evils.", "summary": "Is the Rally to Restore Sanity about restoring sanity to the American Hyper Bi-Partisan Political system, or is it about making sure Conservative idiots don't get elected?"} {"id": "t3_2n6g2f", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "I'm (m20) feeling lonely half a year after a break up (f20). Looking for suggestions on what to do now.", "post": "So earlier this year my girlfriend and I broke up, a few months after that I ended up hooking up with one of my friends/coworkers but she wanted to keep it as a one time thing. \n\nNow I'm feeling lonely sexually/romantically. I know I'm suppose to focus on myself, things I enjoy, etc. and that one shouldn't enter a relationship unless they are happy being single but I just really miss having someone I love/care about beside me when I go to bed, or just someone to cuddle.\n\nCurrently I am on a couple free dating sites but I'm wondering if i should just stay off until I feel happy being single.", "summary": "I feel lonely after a break up (6 months ago), i miss having someone beside me, should i stay single till happy, or continue looking at dating"} {"id": "t3_49n4ow", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25M] best friend's [27F] Fiance [36M] doesn't like the idea of her and I hanging out, its starting to cause him more distress, should I talk to him?", "post": "So my best friend and I have been friends for 11 years and she has been with her fiance for 5 years and he has always not liked the idea of us hanging out alone, but he has put up with it because he doesn't want to force her to choose her friends. They are getting kicked out of the room they rent and have to find a new place to live (the owner of their house is selling and the new owner doesn't want any tenants there) and I am looking for a new place to move into for work reasons so there was talk about us getting a 2 bedroom apartment because it would be cheaper to split the costs. My best friend is all for it, but since her fiance doesn't really like us hanging out alone together he has been begrudgingly accepting of the idea until recently he said he doesn't want to do it and she can tell he's getting more annoyed when we hang out. She is annoyed because she doesn't see why he is being stubborn and getting upset, I kind of understand his position though I am no threat to their relationship. \n\nMy question is should I ask to speak with him, just the two of us to hash things out? Since they have been together I think him and I have spent a accumulative time of less than an hour talking together without her in the conversation so I am thinking that if we can have a serious talk and get his concerns out in the open he may feel better, but I don't want to harm their relationship because I know she loves him.\n\n(A side not is since we have been friends I have lost 120lbs and in a conversation they had she said that I am more attractive than I was when we met, in the context of I don't have a very successful dating life when it comes to asking girls out and she was saying that she was surprised it didn't get a lot better after I lost the weight.)", "summary": "My female best friend's fiance doesn't like that she has a male best friend. I am wondering if trying to talk to him would help ease concerns he has with us hanging out."} {"id": "t3_2ptbbs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28F] with my ex [27F] of 5 years, wants to know about my status but won't ask.", "post": "We broke up in June over text then made it official in Sept of this year. We broke up because of long distance after college opportunities separated us.\n\nNow that we are in a transitional phase of our lives we still text (only) about what we are doing and what is next in our lives. Well I have gone out of state to be with family and friends considering it is the holiday season. \n\nWhen I tell her I am hanging out with a friend she always jump the gun and thinks I am seeing someone special. In her round about way she has told me that if I am seeing someone that she won't text me anymore. \n\nAlso, for some odd reason she chooses not to communicate via phone, Skype, or in person. We have met twice in person and both visits ended well with a warm hug and great conversations. I'm not sure what is going on considering we still share two dogs, share a few accounts, and we both have not deleted the thousands of pictures we have.\n\nI want to be with her but I feel like we are too far apart and I guess I don't know what to think because I don't talk to anyone about it. Please be kind with your words/comments.\n\nThank you.", "summary": "I want to be with her but I feel like we are too far apart and I guess I don't know what to think because I don't talk to anyone about it. Does she want to stop texting or is this finally it?"} {"id": "t3_3nxv94", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "First day at my [18/f] new job, and two collegues make me feel uncomfortable", "post": "So I started work at a Spanish resterant last night as a KP (cleaning dishes and stuff) which is fine. However, my two collegues [18/m] and [26/m] make me feel uncomfortable. When I told them my age, the older of the two started trying to set me up with the one my age, asking if I wanted to go for a drink. I took this lightheartedly and they then asked if I was single, to which I replied \"no, I have a girlfriend\", but they continued, with the younger one saying that he \"still has a chance\". There was also a lot of vulgar talk about their sex life and genitals. This pretty much continued throughout the whole shift, with the two making jokes about the younger one going out with me, and when it was time to leave, he offered repeatedly to drive me home, even though I insisted that my dad was picking me up. The whole thing just seemed a bit much for my first day and I have my next shift tonight. Am I just overly sensitive? Or is this \"banter\" something to worry about?", "summary": "Two men at work are very suggestive and vulgar towards me and it makes me uncomfortable. Is it just friendly banter? Or something to be bothered about?"} {"id": "t3_2ruwyj", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Advice?", "post": "I recently got hired on with a local tech company who explained the position as tier 1, training to server admin within about 4 months. Sounded like a great opportunity; boy was I wrong. I went in telling them upfront where i was in my level of experience. I have an associates but that was a while back and have been working at a technical call center for the past couple years after graduating...hadnt exactly gone far with that job.\n\nMy first day i got into work only to find nobody had a clue what i was supposed to be doing and my direct sup was nowhere to be found. Well after about 2 hours of sitting around doing nothing, he finally called me and gave me some stuff to start with. Fine.\n\nI worked on the training material (which was for their ticket system), and then at the end of the day my sup actually came into the office. He held me after for an hour and a half to show me some roubleshooting he was doing with our firewall. \n\nFast forward to my first paycheck - that hour and a half is not there. Whatever; i send him a quick email (this is how we communicate. He is never in the office and has \"trained\" me a total of 2 or 3 times for a couple hours each in the month and a half ive been here.)\nIn the email i let him know the extra time wasnt accounted for.\n\nI was expecting a reasonable response back. Not a chance. He said something along the lines of that extra time being some \"nerd to nerd\" so he can show me the cool toys ill be able to play with one day. And he continues from there. Towards the end of the email he adds in that he expects me to get 1 comptia cert a month (i already have sec+). He is not going to provide any payment assistance with it and they are expensive. This was not discussed when i was hired on. Im certain if i dont get the certs i will be fired, but is this something i can do anything about?", "summary": "Boss wants me to pay for industry certs after i bought up the fact he didnt pay me overtime. Can i do anything besides quit or be fired?"} {"id": "t3_34zo7w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Not sure if girl[19/f] is interested in me[20/m].", "post": "I've barely started talking to and hanging out with this girl that went to the same high school as I did. \nAlthough we knew of each other's existence and we were friends in bunch of social media, we never talked until couple weeks ago. \n \nThis is pretty irrelevant detail but I started messaging her on Twitter after realizing how hot she was (BOOTY GAME WAS TOO FUCKING STRONG.) \n \nSo far, we've hung out twice. Last weekend, I invited her to watch the Avengers with me and then invited her over to my friend's kick back during the Manny vs Floyd night. She is super willing to hanging out with me even though she's somewhat shy and she doesn't know any of my friends and barely knows me. In fact, she's down to hanging out some more this week! \n \nThe part that confuses me is the way she texts! \nIn the past, I usually looked at texting behavior to see if the girl is interested in me or not. (Slow replies,blunt messages) \nThis girl however writes long ass paragraph texts and genuinely seems like she's interested in talking by the looks of her texts! \nBUT it's like she travels into another dimension without her phone after every reply. \nShe takes at least average of 30 minutes to reply and sometimes just doesn't even reply at all. \n \nCan this just be her texting style? Am I over analyzing things? \n \n \nI just don't want all of this to end up going to the friendzone. lmao", "summary": "Girl I started talking to is super willing to hang out with me but her super slow and lack of replies to my texts feels like she's not interested in me."} {"id": "t3_2ux4ds", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "hung out with a female freind in vegas , took a nap in same bed. Declined a kiss from her. How to tell my SO?", "post": "I 25 (M) in a relationship with a 21 (F) for about 3 month now. every things been going very well. I really care for her. \n\nBut recently like the title suggest, I went on a trip with a handfull of freinds some close and some new to vegas for the weekend. \nmeet another female that likes to gamble and drink as do i myself. \nhung out quite a bit over the trip. I said i was in a committed relastionship didnt see the harm in having a drinking buddie for the weekend.\nnothing happened between us, at one point we did take a nap in the same bed, her under the sheets and me above the sheets, her and i both had all are cloth on and there was no fooling around or anything. slept for about 2 hours and went back to drinking and gambling. \nat one point over the weekend she did ask for a kiss and i politely declined saying i was in a relasoinship. After that we still hung out, drank and gambled, walked the strip. But she understood that I had no intention of perusing her. \n\nI haven't yet mentioned any of this to my SO (I plan to tonight when I see her) and I want to be open and honest with her. Are relationship means the world to me. I know she's going be upset with me I understand that, but i feel that being honestly and open in a relationship is key. \n\nwhere do I go from here reddit ?", "summary": "hung out with a female freind in vegas , took a nap in same bed. Declined a kiss from her. Where do I go now?"} {"id": "t3_2silba", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Looking for advice on starting my career", "post": "Hey reddit, I am a 22 year old male who just moved out for the first time down to North Carolina from Illinios. I have little to no college experience, basically a semester shy of an associates. \n\nThe first job I landed down here was with a major car rental company, (the yellow one) as a \"manager trainee\" making roughly 28k a year (32 with overtime). My background previous to this was working as a shift manager at a health club back in Illinois as well as a number of smaller customer service/sales positions in retail. \n\nSo far I enjoy my job but it seems to have a very high turnover rate due to the \"turn and burn\" nature of the position, however this also does provide decent room for advancement. \n\nMy ultimate goal is to land a more business to business sales positionnwith better job security than my current position, the only drawbacks being my lack of college degree and \"professional\" experience. I feel as if I can stick it out at this company for a year so and land a promotion or two, I can use it to springboard to a more stable position in a more corporate environment, perhaps with a materials distributor (electrical, shipping/recieving, even HR? etc)\n\nMy question for you all is should I follow this plan? or move back home with my parents when my year lease is up and finish my degree? So far I'm doing well with this company but I worry if I have a couple bad months or two and am let go, (a theme I've already witnessed with a couple coworkers) it would look horrible on a resume, and only serve to put me in a worse position. \n\nSorry for the wall of text, I just didn't know if anyone has been in a similar position, and could offer some advice.", "summary": "I have no degree, but the possibility of gaining experience to counter that in a very competitive sales position. Stick it out? Or throw in the towel and move back home for college. "} {"id": "t3_1lq0y5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend's [23M] wealthy parents want to meet my [22F] middle class parents.", "post": "So reddit, my boyfriends [23M] parents have been pushing me to introduce them to my [22F] parents. (We have been dating for 2 years now btw.)\n\nHowever, there are some serious cultural and financial differences between the two. His parents are American, very well off, enjoy expensive meals, fine wines, and vacations. \n\nOn the other hand, my parents come from eastern europe, are much more frugal, do not really go out to eat, and definitley have heavy accents. To top it off my father is not the easiest man to get along with, being a little bit of a stubborn know it all.\n\nReddit, has anyone had an experience like this? His parents have been asking me to arrange a meeting for the past year and I've been pushing it off. Does anyone have any suggestions on where to have this meeting, or what kind of setting would be the best?\n\nHis parents are definitley very sweet, however I don't know where it would be best for cultural and financial awkwardness to be at a minimum. \n\nAny advice would be greatly appreciated! :)", "summary": "Boyfriend's [23M] wealthy parents have been pushing me to introduce them to my my [22F] middle-class eastern European parents."} {"id": "t3_2yn9i9", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by scratching a luxury car with a sports car.", "post": "I am currently visiting my Aunt for a couple of days while I am traveling. She is very busy at the moment, so I'm hanging around her place playing with her dogs and enjoying the sun. \n\nAs I'm leaving tonight, she suggested I drive her brand new Nissan z35. I was hesitant about it, as I haven't been driving for very long (roughly 8 months) and didn't feel all that confident. But then again, I'm leaving tonight and it'd be a shame to miss out on an opportunity to spend time together. So I agreed. \n\nDriving the car was easy enough; it was a bit 'jumpy' and didn't have great visibility, but other than that, it was okay. I pulled into the CBD and realized that parking was at a premium. I managed to find a spot on the main road. It looked pretty tight - but I really didn't have another alternative and I was already late. I remember my girlfriend telling me reversing in was easier for her, but I really didn't feel confident enough to back it in due to poor visibility. So I lined it up and swung it around and slowly rolled into a space between 2 parked cars - an Audi A4 to the left and some shitbox to the right. I slowly rolled in, until I heard a CHRRRRRERRRRZZZZ sound. I reversed out, but the damage was done. I left multiple scratches, about 30 cm in size, to the back left bumper of the Audi, but no dents. Oh, and my Aunt was watching it all from behind me. She was visibly pissed, but really cool about it - she doesn't want any of my money (which I also don't have, as I'm traveling). Of course I will offer to pay her back - but I guarantee she won't accept it. The damage to the Nissan is minimal, barely visible - so it could have been worse. All in all, shit fucking day. I feel like an absolute dickhead for causing her more stress and financial damage. We had lunch after but I didn't eat much.", "summary": "Scratched an Audi A4 with a Nissan z35. Anybody have an idea as to what the repairs may cost?"} {"id": "t3_34v43j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "GF [21F] of 2 years broke up with me [25M] because of stress and uncertainty but hasn't been clear at all about her intentions. I want to know where we stand but I feel like NC is appropriate too. Please help?!", "post": "As I stated in the title, my GF broke up with me because of how stressed she is with nursing school and a stressful family situation. Her exact words were \"I just want to be alone so I can figure out what I want with everything in my life without anybody or anything swaying my decision one way or the other so I think we should break up for a little while.\" She also said she felt bad because she knew she was being really distant and didn't think I deserved that and didn't want me to think that's how a girlfriend should act.\n\nI understand that for the most part. However, she's called me since then to check on me and see how I was doing. She said she was \"only so happy since she wasn't with me\" and at one point, she referred to me as \"the love of her life.\" She has NEVER EVER been the type of girl to say really sappy, affectionate things like that so I honestly don't know what to do.\n\nI think not contacting her is probably my best bet since I doubt she'll begin to really miss me if I'm talking to her alot, but I also just want to know what she's thinking, what she wants me to do, or if this was just an easy way to be done with me for good without all the dramatics. I love this girl more than I can explain so...any advice?", "summary": "GF broke up with me for what she says is \"a little while\" but I don't know what's she thinking or what I should do regarding contact or none"} {"id": "t3_1pebzo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16 M] think I just ruined my friendship/relationship with my best friend [16F]", "post": "Sorry in advance if this doesn't belong here, but this is my first post.\n\nSo today, I told my best friend of a couple years that I loved her. The thing is, these past few weeks/months she's been getting into some drama surrounding her supposedly \"leading guys on\" to liking her despite her having a boyfriend (not me) but this isn't true. Well the thing is the bad rep from the drama has sort of negatively affected her and since I told her today that I loved her she thinks shes lead me on and I think i've severed my relationship with her.\n\nI don't really know what to do to even attempt to amend my relationship with her, but all I know is she is basically the most important person in my life outside of family.", "summary": "I told my best friend who has a boyfriend I love her and now my relationship with her is in the shit because she thinks shes lead me on and she doesn't know how to talk to me or anything anymore."} {"id": "t3_ebaif", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A different kind of Christmas -- need ideas to raise funds!", "post": "So, my eldest son has proposed an idea to the family for a \"different kind of Christmas\" this year. Instead of spending money on each other, we're planning on taking the cash-value of the gifts we would have given each other and pooling it to buy a set of hearing aids for a 20-something friend who can't afford them. She's from a family that has had more than their share of medical problems over the years -- her mom has a kidney disease that's resulted in her getting a transplant about 15 years ago along with the regular anti-rejection regimen and other issues along the way, her oldest brother got into drugs, and her next oldest brother has been diagnosed with the same kidney disease their mom has. She's got impaired hearing in both ears and the family can't afford to buy her hearing aids and is struggling to set aside enough money to help her with her college tuition. She's having a difficult time hearing the lectures well enough to do well in school. All in all, she's a sweet young woman who has a pretty big mountain ahead of her if she's going to do well in school and be able to hear what's going on around her. When she's not in school, she's working at a local state mental hospital to save up for tuition.\n\nI read Voltier Creative's article on [Reddit's Astonishing Altruism] and was amazed at your generosity, especially reading the article about focks and her new hearing aids. It got me to thinking that you all might have some good ideas for raising funds for an endeavor like this. I don't want this post to come across as a solicitation for you to donate to my cause, but I'm very interested to find out if you have any suggestions on ways our family could pursue raising the $5-6K necessary to buy a set of hearing aids for her. It's quite a bit more than we can save up on our own.", "summary": "Instead of giving gifts to each other, we want to give a set of hearing aids to a friend, but it's still more money than we can save ourselves. What else can we do to raise money?"} {"id": "t3_2lr1eb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] don't know what do do anymore with her [18F]", "post": "Over the summer I met a girl and we became more then friends. It was very short and nothing went past making out. \n\nShe told me she wanted to get back with her ex-boyfriend and that she wanted to remain friends. I was fine with that because I didn't really care at the time. \n\n6 Months have gone by and she clearly states among friends she isn't dating him. They do however definitely have a thing or a FWB situation. Anyway when we hangout together she kind of still is all over me, whether it be cuddling with me or holding my hand.\n\nI've told her I liked her in the past but nothing really came from it. \n\nBasically overall I am not sure if I should remain friends with her or go for anything. I would just like some advice because I don't know what to do.", "summary": "had a thing with a girl, months go by she still flirts with me,has a boyfriend kinda, what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_339q4e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [22F] seems very vanilla (not-kinky) and my previous gf was very kinky - I [22M] miss this aspect of sex, what should I do? Thanks!", "post": "I have been dating my gf for 6 months, she is the love of my life.\n\nHowever, I just haven't been very satisfied with our sex life. In my previous relationship (lasted 3 years) my gf and I quickly got into a lot of kinkyness in our sex life (tying each other up, punishment spanking and paddlings, watching porn together, slapping each other during sex, rape fantasies, etc.) that I came to enjoy so much. My ex gf also had a strong interest in rape fantasies - I was reluctant at first but a lot of our sex involved kidnapping/rape scenarios where she pretended to resist. We also had normal vanilla sex, but it was about 50% of the time with the kinky stuff. We experimented together, I was the first person she had had sex with, so we developed these kinks as we dated.\n\nMy current gf is not like this at all, she isn't as sexual (though still loves it) and we have not tried anything kinky. She has said she would be open to it, but I am very afraid to suggest anything as I know she has been raped in the past and also was sexually abused in her childhood and am really afraid of crossing a line or creating flashbacks or anything for her.\n\nBut after my experiences with my ex girlfriend, I am not finding myself very satisfied with only regular vanilla sex. What can I do? Is there a way I can bring this stuff up without offending my gf? Obviously I don't want to say \"my ex and I used to do this stuff...\" nor do I want to remind her of anything bad from her past. I'm at a loss, any advice? Thank-you.", "summary": "Ex-gf was very kinky and I grew to love it, now I am dating another girl who seems much less into that and I am unsure what to do as I feel like something is missing from our sex life."} {"id": "t3_25av9n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26/M] hooked up with a girl [24/F], she tells me later how she has a boyfriend and how she enjoys cheating on him", "post": "So I met this girl at a bar and we hooked up and went back to my place. She left in the morning but we exchanged phone numbers and facebook contacts.\n\nToday she texts me how she enjoys hooking up with random guys even tho being in a relationship, because she gets a kick out of the attention.\n\nEven tho it's none of my business because I dont give a fuck about her, I get really disgusted by this behavior towards her boyfriend who for sure doesnt know about this.\n\nAgain, its none of my business, but I'm thinking about sending her boyfriend a anonymous message via facebook, because I honestly feel bad for the guy.\n\nI need your advice Reddit, should I keep myself out of this or tell the dude about what she said to me?\n\nThanks a lot.", "summary": "Hooked up with a girl, she tells me afterwards she has a boyfriend and really enjoys fucking other guys to get her ego boosted. Thinking about telling him."} {"id": "t3_2cd4un", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Financing a wedding", "post": "I saw some people put up their financial situation in return for advice and thought that would be a swell idea for me\n\nI'm really trying to plan a wedding and my fianc\u00e9 is very against the idea. I know weddings are expensive and want to budget 8,000$. In order to make the budget, I'm thinking of renting beach house and doing it on the beach and just buying food and having a party in the house afterwards. \n\nI'm 24 years old. I have fully paid off my 2011 crossover and got that maintenance plan (it's paid off) for oil changes and rotations etc etc. I have 28,000$ in student loans that I've been working on. I have a steady job teaching at 32k with benefits and work summers for an extra 2k or so. I did want vision and dental and Aflac after basic insurance. I have home after taxes just over 2k a month. \n\nMy fianc\u00e9 is in medical school and 26. He has no undergrad debt, but also no savings. At the end of it all with interest, he should be 150k in debt. He is leasing a car right now (just a sedan). \n\nWe rent out our second bedroom and we pay rent and utilities which amount to about 600$. \n\nNo credit card debt. We utilize the cash blue preferred Amex and use the cash back for Christmas gifts so we don't have to budget for that. \n\nWe always have at least 1k in emergency funding for our two dogs (and us I suppose... But we are both insured in everything). \n\nWe have an extra car. A 2000 Buick that I was thinking we can sell in order to start the wedding fund. \n\nI have never been irresponsible with my credit. Never missed a credit card payment.\n\nI was thinking of slowing down my student loan payments (I've been paying any left over money outside of the emergency fund into it) and putting that money into a wedding savings account. Neither of us are planning on taking out extra loans, but my fianc\u00e9 thinks it's an absolutely ridiculous idea. It'll take just over a year to save that money.", "summary": "is it absolutely ridiculous to pay only the minimum in student loans for up to a year in order to save for a wedding. "} {"id": "t3_1v8jjz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Not only did I [24M] lose my life long best friend yesterday to suicide, but my younger brother about 18 months ago to a rock climbing accident. Help with my SO [20F] of ~14 months.", "post": "As seen in the title, my best friend killed himself yesterday - I've known him since I was six. On top of that, I lost my younger brother to a rock climbing accident 18 months ago. He was 19 and he was my only brother. I don't really want to go in to many details about either death since that is not what this post is about. \n\nI've been with my girlfriend for a little over a year. I met her about four months after my brother died and she provided support and friendship I needed, which since has blossomed into a deep mutual love.\n\nWe were walking around the city last night. It was a beautiful night. I wanted to buy a shitty bottle of red zinfandel at a Rite Aid. I almost did too. Before I went into the store, I checked my email and saw that my best friends step-dad contacted me. He said to call him immediately - I knew exactly what phone call I was about to make. Dave had killed himself. With my brother, she was four months late to the party, but now she had front row tickets to the live show. \n\nIn the last 24 hours, she has been an incredible support. I've used whatever energy I could muster in a feeble attempt to reassure her that this will not destroy the relationship. I know what grief is. I've been through it, although now it is compounded, which is why I reach out to you guys. This will not destroy me for I am stronger than it. I don't really know how to articulate the question I want to ask. What is there to be done about a relationship where one partner continuously battles life's grandest stressors? If I need to provide more information than I have, let me know and I'll gladly offer anything up.", "summary": "Two major players in my life have died within 18 months. What should I do in a relationship where one partner continuously battles life's grandest stressors? That partner is me, this time."} {"id": "t3_32l0cx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[M 20's]y G[F 20's]'s dad[M50's] texted her saying I should \"Man up, grow some balls...\". How do I handle this situation?", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nI'll start by saying both me and my gf have been together about a year and are in our early 20's, both still living at home with our parents.\n\nThis past weekend my girlfriend and I were hanging out and she was in the middle of an unrelated argument with her dad via text message. He was also unhappy with how much she had been away from home and driving over to my house to hangout rather than me going to her house. He texted her saying \"OP should man up, grow some balls, and drive\". I wasn't supposed to see the text message but she was reading other messages off to me and they were on the screen. I asked GF if she felt like I didn't drive enough, and I never minded driving to come see her, she said she had no issue with anything. She usually wants to get out of her house, and my house is usually quiet and we have privacy. Whenever I ask her my house or yours she usually wants to come here. I have never had an issue with her dad before this incident but I feel like his words were quite harsh, and told my girlfriend I no longer felt welcome in her parents house, but I would drive and pick her up/drop her off. She told me she understood but hoped with time I would re-evaluate. I told her I know it puts her in a shitty situation and I don't want to strain her relationship with her dad but I felt disrespected and don't want to be around him anymore. I understand that I was never supposed to see that message but saying that behind someone's back is rude. Have I been over sensitive about the whole situation? I'll have to see him again eventually, how do I handle that situation?", "summary": "GF's dad sent GF a text saying \"OP should man up, grow some balls, and drive\". I no longer want to associate with him but don't want to strain relationships. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_38dcw2", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Did you explain to friends you didn't invite into the wedding party your reasoning behind your choice?", "post": "I am getting married next year (yayyy), and am currently choosing my bridal party. I have already asked 5 of my closest friends to be in the wedding party. I have 2 friends who I had been very close with in college but have seen less than 1x a year since then (4 years ago). I have a feeling they will be hurt if I can't include them as bridesmaids.\n\n**Friend A:** Has always been slightly possessive and jealous of my friendship with a mutual friend (MoH). Also, she is the least in touch with me and I get a lot of anxiety thinking of how to not get into a fight with her. \n\n**Friend B:** Old roommate introduced to me by my friend (her now ex). She is chronically 1.5+ hours late to everything and sometimes has blown me off entirely due to severe ADHD that she often did not medicate (not sure how much to be upset about her behavior because of that). \n\nBoth of these people expect to be bridesmaids and if I hadn't already asked 5 people or had closer more reliable friends I would probably ask them. I'm avoiding broaching the subject with them because I am still thinking I MIGHT ask them just to make my life easier (though I think it would not be wise in the long run).", "summary": "What would you do? Would you ask older friends that stressed you out to be in your party? How would you broach the subject or would you just not bring it up ever?"} {"id": "t3_3kicyj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21m] met up with a girl I like [21f] at a party, and her drunk friend let it slip that she's into one of my buddies. What now?", "post": "Hey guys, \n\nI've known this girl for almost a year, and we have hit it off every time we were together in a group setting. We both got out of relationships this summer, and I invited her out for coffee. We clicked, and we had a really good time. \n\nI ended up at a frosh party with a buddy of mine, and the girl was there with her drunk friend. We hang out the whole night, and end up all drinking and dancing together. Her drunk friend said that she talks about me a bunch, and showed her pics of me. That made my night. \n\nNear the end of the night, her friend says 'it's a shame she likes (your friend)'. The girl then tells her friend to shut up, and apologies. The dude she likes and I are close, but don't talk that often anymore. He is also her partner for a competition this year. He was mine last year.\n\nThe party ended 30 minutes later, we exchanged info with her friend and went home. I sent her a couple snaps today, but haven't gotten anything back. \n\nWhat can I do at this point? I just recovered from a really tough breakup, and I really thought I had a shot with this girl.", "summary": "A girl I like and I hung out all night at a party, and I found out she's into one of my friends. What now?"} {"id": "t3_53cty6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (23M) need help confronting my father (50) about my feelings regarding is past abuse.", "post": "This is an incredibly difficult thing for me to talk about and have really done my best to hide it.\n\nMy father left our family home when I was 7, my younger siblings (2M & 1F) . I remember him being EXTREMELY abusive towards my mother, many time nearly killing her. \n\nHe was in and out of our lives to varying degrees as children until he finally stopped communicating with us entirely.\n\nThat in itself was incredibly traumatic but got much worse when I was 18. My mother had been talking to law enforcement for a few months and wanted to let us know what was going on before we saw it in court newspapers.\nWhen my mother lived with my father they moved to a new city where she had no support system, and he and two other men forced her into prostitution. If she refused, she would be beaten, if she didn't make enough money, she would be beaten. She went to the police and all they saw was a prostitute and had no interest in helping her.\n\nThe trial resulting in convictions for all 3 men. They are currently out of jail while they appeal the finding of the case. \n\nI recently found him by accident on social media and have been confronted with intense feelings I do not fully understand and feel I need to let him know how this has affected me and my family and how seeing them suffer has further affected me. \n\nI would appreciate any feedback or advice, thank you for taking the time to read this.", "summary": "Found out my our of contact abusive father had forced my mother to be a prostitute. Confronted with raw feelings I have not felt for years. Need feedback on how to confront him."} {"id": "t3_rqh1d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "SO and I Can't Agree About Work Outs/Body Image", "post": "I'm a 20 year old girl, living in an apartment with my boyfriend. I used to be a lot more physically fit than I am now, and I've gained about 30 pounds since I started college. It's not like I have terrible self esteem over this, but I'd still like to go back to how I used to look. My boyfriend thinks I look fine and don't need to worry about it.\n\nI started a workout routine over the last summer, and am starting to take up running this spring. Today I bought 80 dollar running shoes (Vibrams, to be specific) so that I could run in as healthy a way as possible (I've had knee, ankle and foot injuries all on the same leg in the past and want to play it safe). Also, I wanted motivate myself to dedicate to running by investing something into it. \n\nThe issue is, I came home from buying the shoes and my boyfriend was really upset that I spent so much money on something so pointless (since he doesn't think I need to work out in the first place). Do you think he was justified? How can we reach an agreement about my body image, working out etc?", "summary": "I want to lose weight, SO doesn't think so. I bought expensive running shoes and he's upset. What do? "} {"id": "t3_2rfvh9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25M] broke up with my first GF [21] of a year, and am a dating neophyte", "post": "Hey reddit,\n\nSo I broke up with my GF recently. She dumped me (not a blowup, but more of I stopped paying attention), but then couldn't leave me alone, and still wanted me in her life some way. I didn't know what I really wanted, and did not feel like doing the same. Bottom line is we are finally going to be no contact, and she does not want me in her life now she says.\n\nShe was my first love and GF, and I was pretty miserable relationship wise before her. I had never really dated, been intimate, or even had sex before her. I learned so much with her about who I am, and what goes into being with another person.\n\nNow with us over (at least for the near term), I am realizing it won't be so simple to get over her. I miss a lot about her, but definitely believe splitting would be good for both us for personal growth.\n\nI have had some girls come onto me since we broke up, and realize that finding someone else can be hard, which is why so many people run back to what they know. I have never really been into dating, but am social enough in casual situations to feel comfortable. I don't use online sites or anything, nor do I want to as I still think digital dating/hookups are kind of weird. How did anyone here deal with meeting someone else/dating after their first breakup? And did you wait a while before trying to get close to someone else?\n\nI believe in the when you stop looking you'll find it philosophy, but know you still have to have your eyes open so to speak.\n\nAny input is helpful, especially from a woman's perspective!", "summary": "Broke up with my GF, and am now back to the old position of being single and not having done much dating aside from her. Not sure how to go about it."} {"id": "t3_1s0t0w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I don't want to break up. I want to fix it.", "post": "Hello,\n\nI'm a 21 years old male. I'm dating a 19 years old girl. Let's call her X.\n\nWe used to date some time ago but she was spending less and less time with me. I wasn't ok with that and she broke up with me. She said she \"didn't feel it anymore\" and we went our ways. I fell for her so it hurt me, really, really badly.\n\nI made a fool of myself trying to get back with her. I even told her I love her. Nothing worked. I cringe whenever I think of that.\n\nAnyway. 3 or 4 months after that break up we meet again. We go out once, twice and we kinda started dating. It's been a month and a half. Maybe more now. We see each other only once or twice a week. Our \"dates\" look so fucking miserable, we see each for 2 or 3 hours only. \n\nShe doesn't have time. She's always busy. I feel like I'm not even on a second place in her life. I feel like I'm somewhere down there on the dark bottom of the list.\n\nWe haven't talked about what changed since the break up. We talked about her lack of time for me, she said that she was always busy and that's a part of her personality. That I should take a note on that.\n\nHow do I fix things? Because for now I feel they're broken. She wants to date me, I want to date her, so why there must a fucking problem...? Am I supposed to talk to her about what changed since \"break up\"? Should I made my expectations clear? Or... yeah, what?", "summary": "My GF doesn't have time for me, I feel like shit. I don't want to break up, I want to try and fix things."} {"id": "t3_mjuvi", "subreddit": "self", "title": "The Epiphany that changed Pinky and the Brain... Also first post :)", "post": "Reddit, I have decided to emerge from the shadows where lurkers lie to impart some very valuable knowledge upon you. Brace yourselves, for this may change your entire sense of being... The other day while sitting in my room staring at the wall and avoiding my textbook's gaze, I realized something about a show that I'm sure some of you have heard of... Pinky and the Brain!\n\nThroughout our lives, most - if not all - of us have always assumed a few things about the two protagonists in the show, Pinky and the Brain. The biggest and most important assumption that the show falsely presents is that \"Brain\" is more intelligent than \"Pinky\"\n\nIn fact, if you think about the show it is not a conflict between two mice of varying degrees of intelligence at all. It is actually a battle between good and evil. Pinky is far more cunning than Brain and successfully halts Brains plans to \"take over the world\" without Brain ever suspecting foul play. \n\nThe benefits that both mice enjoy thanks to Pinky's elaborate plans are threefold. Brain continues to feel good about himself. Pinky enjoys company in his otherwise lonely cage, and Brain's potential victims are kept safe by the hero of the story: Pinky.\n\nSo next time you watch the show... listen carefully to the tall, gangly mouse. You might even learn a thing or two from him.", "summary": "Pinky is actually the smarter of the two mice. He represents all that is good and holy and saves the world from Brain in every episode... Think about it!"} {"id": "t3_1r7t92", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] is kind of worried after break up with my unstable ex[29M] for only getting my bike back.", "post": "Sorry of my grammar error and title is unclear, but I need you guys help soon as possible.\n\nAfter break up for 2 years relationship with my ex of having heavy arguments and suddenly attempting sexual abuse to me (atleast he stops that he realize I was not into it). I left his house (later break up with him) and got everything what I can, except my bike.. It sounds ridiculous, but I really do miss my bike since i'm poor to get another one. So for whole long emailing trying to make it appointment. First it was original for meeting up at the station where all people are around (because of my safety reason). But today, he cannot do it suddenly because of his emotional and it would be more meeting up outside at his house for leaving my bike. And finally he said he'll go somewhere else. So I made the time and then later to get the bike. But he mention the location where I usually go there with my bike to travel all the way back to home. Atleast I have my back up plan just in any case of my safety reason (because both my mother and me felt he'll go making a drama in his forcing seeing me), but the question is..\n\nHe's regaining his emotional after break up, but I still felt he's unstable now and certainly hope not that he'll do something stupid.\nThe question is, is there any danger of emotionally unstable people information list that I should know about it?\nHe has a history from his mother side of psychological problems.", "summary": "Very rare feeling if he has plans to make a drama scene with me for only getting my bike back. Just a question if any danger of emotionally unstable will be happen."} {"id": "t3_1kdvsv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[30M] with my GF [24F] 8 months, breakup advice..(long distance)", "post": "OK I've realised I need to break up with my gf... and I am just so petrified of doing so, can anyone offer advice?\n\nmy reasons for doing so are: \n1. she lives 400 miles away.. the drive is killer and its very hard and I see her rarely because.. \n2. I have 2 basically teenage kids (13/12) who I have every second weekend but Im starting to see more of them now.. sometimes every weekend...meaning. \n3. I see my gf maybe 1 weekend a month.. and It's not enough to be close to her. \n4. she just moved in with her parents and when I visit her its just super awkward for me.. I'm an adult with kids of my own.. \n staying over at her parents house as a parent sleeping in their daughters bedroom.. its totally freaking me out. its not right.. I'm too old for this shit. \n5. I can't see her in my future.. \n6. I want to travel in a years time.. she is also planning to do her own travel next year for possibly a year.. \n \nok these are just reasons..I know and I also know I don't need a reason at all.. but I just need to know that I am making the right choice.. but most of all..\nI have never broken up with someone before, this girl is super super sweet and nice and we have never fought and everything is really good.. and I just can't bear the idea of hurting her.. but this has to happen... with the complications I cant see this working... should I just sit her down and say its not working? the distance is too hard?\nI'm hoping to do it tonight... Im going to leave early from work and drive the 5 hours... I just dont know... do I take her out to dinner? do I just call her up and say please meet me somewhere we need to talk?\nshould I go to her work and wait for her to finish meet her at her work?\nits all just so hard... :(", "summary": "need help on how to break up with a nice girl in a nice way.. she is a 5 hour drive away and I'm hoping to drive there tonight to do it."} {"id": "t3_31v97h", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by looking at my colleagues phone", "post": "Hey, I have made a throw away as my work colleagues know my user and would read this and it would be embarrassing for the person in question. \n\nWhilst walking past a colleague, it is traditional for someone to bend over and have a look at what you are doing and make a joke about it (such as reading your text and making out you are texting someone you shouldn't be etc).\n\nI walked past my colleague, looked down at his phone and saw that he was looking at a gay swinging website. Now I recognise the website, because they have multiple websites to cover everyones preference (My wife and I use the couples one). He is married with a wife and two kids.\n\nI have nothing against people and their preferences and that is his business, he works away for the week from his family, but what I did not need to see was the message he was sending to a guy and a fully naked picture of himself .. standing to attention?.. he was messaging someone.\n\nI saw this in the space of about 3 seconds before he realise I was stood behind him and quickly hit back, revealing the profile of the guy he was talking to, before quickly just locking his phone and closing it.\n\nNow I catch him staring at me and make awkward eye contact before he quickly looks away.. Not entirely sure where to go with this.", "summary": "I think I just discovered my married co worker is gay or at least has bi preferences, I am fine with this but he keeps giving me awkward looks."} {"id": "t3_wlq39", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "I'm trying to raise $100k for the World Wildlife Fund to help save big cats... here's my plan. Can you give me some constructive feedback?", "post": "Hey Reddit.\n\nI'm trying to raise $100k for the World Wildlife Fund to help big cats.\n\nCharity Navigator gives the WWF fairly solid marks.\n\nIf you have any alternative or additional suggestions I'm all ears.\n\nMy plan is to create a viral video.\n\nBasically, I'm going to dress up as a HUGE cat ... I've already found where I can rent a giant cat costume.\n\nThen... I'm going to get a cardboard box and on the outside it's going to say \"FREE KITTENS\" and I'm going to have a recording of baby cats meowing inside so it's irresistible ...\n\nThen I'm going to setup in Union Square in San Francisco with me hiding inside wearing the cat costume.\n\nThen when people come by to check out the free kittens I'm going to jump out and scare the FUCK out of them :)\n\nIts going to be hilarious.\n\nThen at the end of the video I'm going to have a call to action that Big Cats like Lions may be extinct by 2030 and ask for donations.\n\nThe Youtube will have a link inside the video to the WWF to donate directly.\n\nI'm going to track the WWF so I can try to track funds. I don't want to be a middleman holding the funds in between. The $ should go right to the charity.\n\nAny other suggestions? I might put additional contribution links there including Snow Leopards:", "summary": "I'm gonna dress up like a huge cat and scare the shit out of people to raise $100k to help save big cats."} {"id": "t3_3500lw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've done the breaking up in all my relationships yet I suffer from post breakup attachment issues. What do I do?", "post": "In all my relationships, I've been the breaker. Despite this, I find myself over involved with my exes. Usually things will be fine until she moves on. After that I'm jealous and angry. What's wrong with me? And do I need to block all communication with my most current ex?\n\nWe've dated on and off for a year and a half. Dating on and off is also a theme in my relationships. I'm M21 and she's F19. We broke up for good (at least I intend it to be that way) recently and I thought we'd be able to be friends. I was with her a bit ago when she mentioned \"talking to people\" and I freaked out. I can't help but feel jealous. I had to leave in order to avoid making an ass out of myself and now I'm considering if I need to block all communications for my sake. I don't want to be the way I used to. I just want to move on completely without embarrassing my self.\n\nGo as deep as you want (attachment theory, psychology, etc.) to explain my behavior.", "summary": "I'm over attached after breakups even when I do the breaking and need to know if I should stop/block communications completely."} {"id": "t3_2dakxu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my gf [15 F] almost a year, always complaining about work - driving me insane!", "post": "Okay, so my girlfriend recently went back to work. Instead of working at an ice cream place, she's now working at a grocery store doing bagging. I've recently started bagging (first time job) at a local one, although not the same. She works almost 9 hour shifts, but my store works 4 hours. We work pretty much the same days, and get days off the same days. \n\nNow, I'm starting working - this is my first job - and so far, it's pretty sweet. I'm just bagging, along with restocking bags and cleaning occasionally, which all isn't that hard. She works pretty much the same thing, except does maybe a few other things, such as stocking or cleaning. We essentially do the same job but she has longer hours.\n\nEvery day, since she's began though, every single time she has a break (whether it's an actual break or just her in the back room deciding to text me) she has to complain about something. She apparently works with a group of mental patients who apparently can't do anything - I've told her, time and time again, if it's REALLY that bad, talk to a higher-up, manager, supervisor, whatever. Apparently she has and apparently that same one has disciplined them. Yet, she still complains about them! Whether that's her problem or the supervisor's, I'm not sure.\n\nIt's really starting to drag on me, having to respond to whiny texts when I'm trying to relax after working my first ever job. I understand she has more hours, but she has more experience - she should be used to this. I haven't complained once to her, but every day (I mean literally, every day) I get a complaint from her.\n\nI don't necessarily want to tell her \"listen, you need to stfu/htfu\" because she's really sensitive (we both are) but it's really dragging on me at this point. Help, please?", "summary": "Girlfriend complains every day about work. I love her but every day when she has a break she texts me \"ugh work sucks, so and so isn't working\". Put up with it or tell her she needs to stop?"} {"id": "t3_109gh3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "There's a shady boot on my car. Anybody have any advice on how to deal with it?", "post": "I'm a resident of my apartment complex. Yesterday I parked in visitor parking because somebody was in my spot. I came back to see a boot on my car, and a sticker on my window.\n\nI called the company, and he was really vague about who called him to boot my car. He said he thinks it was management, but a local office manages the property and they're across town. I've also parked in visitor parking hundreds of times, and even overnight. \n\nThe thing is, I can't get a hold of management. No answer to my emails or phone calls. Any suggestions on what I can do?", "summary": "my car was booted, but I didn't break any laws that I'm aware of. Can't get a hold of management. Wat do"} {"id": "t3_51grss", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29M] with my Wife [25F] of 1 year. She left two months ago and now wants to talk", "post": "Throwaway and names changed for privacy. Roughly two months ago my wife up and left me out of no where. We had a brief discussion than where she explained that she was just very unhappy. Her explanation was that I was just not fulfilling her as a person, she had lost her identity, and she was feeling disrespected and unappreciated. After that she also explained that due to some physical altercations we had in the past she felt unable to continue our marriage and wanted a divorce. For clarity the physical stuff was a brief period in our relationship over 4 years ago, I attended extensive counseling and therapy, and have not act in such a manner since. Obviously this does not forgive the actions, but I've done everything possible to change the man I am. She quickly moved out after this, we split our assets, and have not really spoken since then, only short little conversations that were painful for me. I made every attempt to try to rectify the situation, suggest therapy, suggest temporary separation, whatever she needed to work on our issues and move through this together, but she wasn't hearing it.\n\nNow out of the blue she contacts me and tells me that she doesn't believe her options were as narrow as she once believed. She tells me she still loves and cares about me and is unsure of what she wants now. I'm completely lost though because I've spent the last 2 months trying to move on and pick up the pieces of my life. How do i determine if I'm willing to work on things with her, or if this breach of trust is just too much to get past? I still love her and care deeply for her, but this whole situation completely destroyed me. I'm finally start to regain some stability and happiness in my life, and the risk of inviting all of that potential pain back is terrifying. I truly do not believe divorce is ever a great option and never wanted to get one. Now I just don't know what's going to be the best for me.\n\nHow do I make this decision?", "summary": "Wife left 2 months ago, now she wants to get together and talk. Not sure how I feel about the whole thing. Love her, but am badly hurt from her leaving me."} {"id": "t3_3nv1iz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24 M] gf [24 F] of 2 years refuses to attend my brother's wedding due to it not being kid-free", "post": "I have been going out with a girl I'll call Katie for 2 years. We are starting to think about marriage but we agree that we do not want kids. I personally do not want to care for kids myself but I don't begrudge other people for having them. Katie is much more of the stereotypical \"childfree\" person and will ask if events are kid-free before attending, will ask to leave if there are kids in a restaurant, etc.\n\nMy brother [33 M] has a young boy with his girlfriend [32 F] and they are getting married in the spring. Because they want to include their son in the service it's not a child-free wedding. When Katie and I got the invitation she noticed that there was no \"please don't bring kids\" disclaimer so she asked if it was a child-free wedding. I told her it wasn't and she stated pretty matter-of-factly that she would not attend. I told her that wasn't fair and that she should at least go for my sake because there is no way I won't go to my own brother's wedding. She said that she loved me and wanted to support me but that the \"really unfair thing is your brother expecting adults to attend a wedding with kids.\" \n\nWhat should I do here? I could always go without her but I'd really prefer to go with her. I get that the wedding will not meet her preferences but I feel like she should at least consider going for my sake. I also think it would be obviously unfair for me to ask my brother to make the wedding child free because their plans to include their son are totally their own prerogative and other couples with kids may have already RSVP'd.", "summary": "My brother didn't make his wedding child free, my gf refuses to attend but I think she should at least try to go with me. Am I in the wrong?"} {"id": "t3_1rqjsc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 M] don't know if my girlfriend [22 F] is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.", "post": "Hi, Internet Strangers,\n\nI've been with my current girlfriend for nearly two years now. I've very into science and technology while she is very arty. I don't really feel that we have so many common interests. \nIt can be frustrating when I notice something in the world, and she just can't see it; for example she couldn't explain to me what caused the Coriolis effect. I don't think that she's stupid at all, we both go to Cambridge. She just seems to lack common sense about the natural world.\n\nShe often feels that she is 'stupid' or 'unsuccessful'.\n\nOn the other hand, we are excellent at keeping each other company and both love each other very dearly. She is kind, generous and funny.\nI can't help but feel that this is near the minimum of what makes a great partner. Most people can be kind and keep one from feeling lonely.\n\nI've recently been offered a dream job in another country for after my degree and I'm worried that if we end this now I won't be able to find another companion like her before leaving.\n\nI'm becoming very sad about this. We've spoken a little on the topic of shared interests, but I don't think that she knows the full extent of my feelings. We discussed trying new things together, and listed a number of things that we have in common. I don't know if any number of new things can make her more curious about the universe.\n\nSorry if this was a little scatterbrained :/\n\nThanks, Internet Strangers.", "summary": "I'm in love with my girlfriend but I don't think that she's 'the one' (or one of the ones) because she isn't a scientist."} {"id": "t3_1b5d6r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Internet relationship in danger of collapsing in a few hours, is there a way to save it? 22M 18F", "post": "I'll keep it as short as I can.\n\nI'm from the UK and she's in California. We met on [1] /r/BDSMpersonals and have been talking and \"playing\" for getting on for three months. She's coming to the UK as the first leg of a tour of Europe in early July and we agreed to take a few days to basically screw each other's brains out. Ultimately what I'm looking for is a long term relationship but I'm moving cities roughly at the same time she's coming here (phrasing, boom...) so I figured it would work out well.\n\nShe's said before that she 's not looking for any kind of commitment and, after an incident where we had to redefine our relationship, we seemed to be OK. I made the cut into the people she actually decided to stick with. I'm starting to come round to the idea of her being polyamourous (I'm really not) but some of her choices of partner definitely freak me out.\n\nFast forward to today and I get an email where she pretty much says that she's found exactly what she's looking for (roughly speaking it equates to a committed relationship) and wants to put things on hold between us sexually for as long as it takes her to get settled. She still wants to talk to me and still wants to see me in the summer but we can't \"play\" for this indeterminate period of time.\n\nIs there a way that this won't end up with me becoming her friendzoned friend who hears about all the people she's with (often in uncomfortable detail) based on a promise of sex in a few months based on a mutual attraction?\n\nI really like her and she really likes me but the more I learn about her life and the way she appears to treat people close to her, the more I wonder whether there's just no hope.\n\nObviously you are only hearing my side and it's coloured by how I feel right now but I'd appreciate any advice you may have.", "summary": "Girl found someone not 5k miles away but still wants to talk to me. Is there a way to save the relationship?"} {"id": "t3_47h4wp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25 M] GF [24 F] of 5 months acts like a total ditz around my friends/coworkers, but no one else.", "post": "Throwaway, not that it really matters.\n\nWe have been dating for a short time, but I really like her and enjoy spending time with her. Except when we're with my friends and/or coworkers. Whether it is big groups or just double dates, the minute we are around other people she starts asking stupid questions, pretending (at least I think so) like she doesn't understand something somewhat simple, or doing a weird \"oh I'm so useless at *cooking, driving, directions, etc.*!\" schtick. \n\nShe is smart and funny, but she is very shy and not very talkative. She's the opposite of me, and she has only one close friend (whom she doesn't act like this around), but that doesn't bother me. I think she just gets anxiety or something, because she has mentioned before that she feels boring around other people/couples. Is this a coping thing? I mean, I am pretty sure it is, but should I say anything? It's kind of embarrassing since I know this isn't the real her, but do I wait and see if she gets over it? I want it to stop, but I have no interest in making her feel bad and become even more anxious/self-conscious.", "summary": "GF is smart and shy, and around other people she puts on a helpless baby act. Do I ask her to stop, and risk her becoming even more shy?"} {"id": "t3_3r3k2q", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Ex has moved on - Why do I feel so depressed?", "post": "Its been a year. We were really good friends for months before we dated, and we dated for nearly two years. Our relationship was a good one until she got a little too clingy, and started suffocating me from my friends. I broke up with her because I had just gotten so miserable it felt like a chore to see her.\n\nWe had a clean break, but still remained good friends since. Now I found out she has a new boyfriend. I know I shouldn't care and should be happy for her, but I can't help but feel sad and upset about it. Is this normal? What should I do to stop feeling this way?", "summary": "Ex and I are still friends but I am upset that she has a new boyfriend. What do I do to stop being sad?"} {"id": "t3_200r4i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23/F] with my ex-boyfriend[22/M] have been dating a year, recently broke up but I'm confused and not sure what to do", "post": "I've known my now ex boyfriend for over 10 years (since high school). We used to be best friends, and then I got married, moved out of the country and we stopped talking because my husband at the time didn't like him, so my friend decided it was best to leave it alone since I was happy.\n\nI recently came back home when my dad got sick, and found out I was getting divorced. He was there for me, like the best friend he was, like nothing had ever changed. We started dating unexpectedly and were for about a year. I recently got accepted to another college, about 45 minutes away. \n\nI thought we should break up because I wasn't sure if I could handle a relationship with school and work and I was worried about not seeing each other and one of us cheating and everything else awful. We broke up, but it's still like we never broke up. Only a few people know, but we still spend the night with each other. We talk all day, everyday. Hang out, eat, play video games etc. \n\nI've tried just not talking and cutting all ties, but I love him and I can't. It literally hurts if we don't talk. I could honestly see myself marrying him with kids one day. I'm not one to be open about feelings, but he's the person I know I can count on, day or night no matter what. We technically broke up, but everything is the same, except we're friends, and I ask him to not call me \"honey\" or \"babe\" or be affectionate. \n\nI asked about friends with benefits, but it doesn't seem like it at all. I don't know if I should say yes we're back together, since it already seems it, or if I just need to keep it and slowly separate.", "summary": "We were best friends. Then dated. Best thing that I've ever had, broke up with him, and I'm not sure if it's right or not. My heart says one thing and my head says another."} {"id": "t3_41mkpn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18M]girlfriend [18F] is asking me to change myself", "post": "I've been seeing this girl for just over 2 months now. Things have been going amazingly until tonight. Tonight, we got on the topic of my choice of clothing, for whatever reason. Now, I have to explain, I'm a t-shirt and jeans guy. Always have been, probably always will be.\n\nShe wasn't rude, or trying to insult me. But she made comments like \"You'll change\" and \"That's what you think now\" when I showed distaste towards expensive clothing brands (American Eagle, Abercrombie etc)which made me feel a little uncomfortable.\n\nI tried to explain that I don't just change that easily and she brushed it off with the \"it's fine\" line multiple times. I could tell it bothered her the rest of the night but I figured I could only make it worse at that point.\n\nSo I've concluded that I'm not changing, because it would be a big lie, but I don't know how to go about telling her that without being a dick. And that's where I really need you Reddit. Any and all help appreciated.", "summary": "Girl I've been seeing wants me to buy expensive clothes , don't know how to tell her no without being a dick."} {"id": "t3_41wz7c", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Concave lower ribs on left side causing perpetual pain", "post": "Me: 28, M, 6'6\", 185, \n\nlifetime complaint has had more severe acute symptomology.\n\nLocation: concave lower left ribs. \n\nPossible relavent medical issues: rib cage tenderness, chronic R neck and shoulder pain, L tibia break, L radius fracture (both basketball, separate incidents), pain and discomfort breathing, anger and disassociation with the feeling of being in my body.\n\nTo clarify, the 4-5 lowest ribs on my left side are deformed in a concave shape on the lateral side. Instead of a normal C curve of the ribs, there is additional C curve (more of a V) pointing back inside my body, creating a pocket in my ribs.\n\nThis is something I've always been self conscious of, and the area is tender to the touch. However, I believe that this has created an imbalance in structural weakness on the left side. My breathing and posture is affected in a pathological and unending manner, do a degree that I wasn't aware of til recently.\n\nI have been meditating and realized that my left ribs are also causing cascading pain patterns around the spine on the right side, primarily from T 8 to C 0, at a pain level of 2-5 at all times.\n\nI am wondering if I am a candidate for surgery, or if there is anything that I can do to structurally support that area so that the left side of my body can become strong again. I am in a lot of pain and feel fragile and uncomfortable in my body. I also have depression which may partly come from learned disassociation from my body.\n\nI am going to a Osteopath next Wednesday, and any ideas that anyone has would be appreciated. I'd also like to ask them some of the right questions and make sure I'm providing any information I can go help them. Thank you!\n\nIt is difficult to see what is going on in a picture, but if it is difficult to visualize I can provide a visual aid.", "summary": "Ribs stick inward on left side, feel out of balance, weak, in pain. Going to Osteopath next week but need guidance."} {"id": "t3_4pt8ae", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my best friend [18 F] 2 years, My best friend has trouble feeling close to people and feels our relationship is doomed", "post": "I'm a guy that was in love with his best friend. WAS is the key word here. There was a moment where I thought I wanted something more with her and I got all messed up in the head. It took me a few difficult days to realize it but I eventually came to the conclusion that I only wanted her in my life as a best friend that would get me through the hard times.\n\nMy best friend is a girl who has real trouble accessing her feelings. She's had relationships that ended because of her emotional distance, and said distance sometimes makes her do things that aren't the greatest. She has a bit of a negative reputation and is planning on recreating herself when she moves away for college.\n\nThe problem is, I'm the type of guy who is deeply in touch with his feelings. I'd labor for days over the right thing to say and am deeply aware when things are wrong. I care so much about my best friend, who hates herself for the things she's done and resents the fact that she doesn't care about me nearly as much. She feels guilty that I care so much about her, and often reminds me that she can't reciprocate any emotion.\n\nShe keeps trying to push me away because of how much I care. She thinks all she'll do is hurt me and that I should give up on her. For me though, she is just misunderstood and confused, and if I leave like everyone else, I'm only reinforcing the negative attitude she has about herself.\n\nRight now, as hard as it is for me, I'm giving her space in order to figure herself out. We've done this before, but it always ends up with her pretending that everything is okay when I know things are not.\n\nI want things to go back the way they were before I pushed her away by admitting how much I care about her, but she does not want to talk about it any more. I'm afraid I'll have to pretend that everything between us is okay until the end of summer, and then she'll drop me for good and I'll never see her again.", "summary": "My best friend has trouble accessing her feelings and resents me for caring so much about her. She's pushing me away and if she succeeds I'll be devastated."} {"id": "t3_1ev1fs", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Help me help my dad lose weight?", "post": "Hey loseit! I need a little perspective from some of you amazing people who have found the motivation to get healthy!\n\nMy father is in his fifties, quite overweight and has developed sleep apnea, and a stress/boredom eater. He goes to the gym two or three times a week to lift weights, but most of his trouble is in his diet. I think his weight issues are also conflated with boredom at work and dissatisfaction in his marriage. His wife can really harp on him cruelly about his eating habits, so I want to be rational and kind about an already sensitive subject.\n\nThis summer I'm back home from school, and I really want to try to make him more conscious of what he eats, but I don't know if having a serious conversation will do it, or if I should just subversively try to clean up the quality of food in the pantry and in our meals, dump nutrition information on him, or...? \n\nWhat was the tipping point for you, and what could/did your family do to get you there or support you? What was insulting, upsetting, or discouraging? I'm a little worried that there isn't anything I can do at all, that maybe to lose weight there really has to be some internal drive I can't create. I love my dad very much and I want him to be around for a while, and I think he would be so much happier if he had more energy and more ways to cope with life than snacking.", "summary": "Father is unhealthily heavy, what can I do (tactfully, effectively) to get him on track to losing weight?"} {"id": "t3_fhq46", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why do so many of us idealize democracy?", "post": "Democracy is suposed to be the solution to any troubled country. Governments have convinced their nations to go to war under the guise of spreading democracy. The government succeeded because the idea that freedom is incredibly important has been drilled into their heads since birth.\n\nThe whole concept of democracy is flawed in my opinion. It's based around the idea that whatever is most popular is right, which is in fact a logical fallacy ([Argumentum_ad_populum] We all thought that the government should legalize cannabis but they refused, and there was finally a chance for the citizens of California to show their power. They voted against it. Anyone intelligent can see that those who voted against it were wrong. \n\nThe average person is very stupid. ~90% of people are religious I find that incredibly scary. 90% of us are unable to realise that there isn't enough evidence to warrant being religious. The most intelligent people should be in charge. I mean, those who are truly gifted (with IQs of over 175). America voted in a person who struggled to string a sentence together... *twice*.\n\nIn school, did you protest about your headmaster/principal not being voted in? Nope. Because the system works. On reddit, are you upset about moderators not being voted in? Nope, and I bet it never even crossed your mind because the system works. I believe that government is a system which can work with a leader who has not been voted in - and so should you. Look at china. Its economy is growing very rapidly.\n\nThe leaders of any system should always be the most intelligent member of that group. Very intelligent people often struggle with winning people over (often because people feel intimidated by people more intelligent than them hence voting in george w. bush). Those best at making the decisions (the most intelligent) should have the responsibility of making the most important decisions. Democracy will never result in any genius leadding a country. I would be happy living in a dictatorship if I believed that those in charged were doing a better job than anyone else could.", "summary": "Those best at making decisions (smartest people) should be in charge and the idea that something is correct because the majority want it is a known logical fallacy (Argumentum ad populum)."} {"id": "t3_jafl7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend, mind-altering substances, worry. Advice?", "post": "Okay, ladies and gents, it's time for round two. I posted [here] a while back and got some good advice, so I figured I'd try to milk you of your sagacious nectar once more.\n\nTo recap: Me: 21 Him: 23. Both male. Been together for a little over two months now, give or take. Maybe closer to three, depending on how you look at it. Anyway. \n\nHe's at a party tonight with some friends. His description of said party was, \"Good music, entertaining ppl, and mind altering substances.\" So far I'm aware of pot and pills taking place, and inevitably alcohol as well. \n\nNow, I don't have an issue with mind-altering substances in and of themselves. I smoke pot on occasion, I drink, and I will admit to maybe having taken a bit more than my dose of loritab when I had surgery a few months ago just to see what it was like. But I have had experiences with significant others getting fucked up and doing stupid things that ended up destroying my trust. He is aware of this fact.\n\nIn light of that, I sent him a text saying, \"Just lemme hear from you on occasion, if you don't mind. And please, don't get super-fucked up and do something stupid. Not that I think you would, it's just that mind-altering substances are... well, mind-altering.\" After no reply for 20 minutes (he had been responding immediately beforehand) I send him, \"Okay, well have fun,\" to which he immediately replies, \"kk nomnom chinese.\" \n\nI feel like he's avoiding the subject, for one, and doesn't seem to be taking my request seriously at all, for two. Am I in the wrong to let this bother me? If not, how should I approach him with it? I don't want him to think that I'm telling him, \"No, you can't do these things that you like to do,\" but at the same time I want him to understand that this is something that matters to me. Help?", "summary": "Boyfriend is at a party with people I don't know and lots of mind-altering substances. I ask him to not get too fucked up and do something he'll regret, he avoids the request. Your thoughts, please."} {"id": "t3_339gn6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[25/M] My Wife (Separated) [24/F] is on vacation with another man popping mollys", "post": "So, My wife and I split about 8 months ago. I decided to move to another state about 1k miles away. We have 2 kids [4/F,2/M] and we agreed that they would stay with her. Well, They have been with me for about 3 months now and I am barley making ends meet due to the whole starting a new life thing. I don't think i will make it another month. I am really struggling financially, emotionally and physically.\n\n I've known she was planning a Vegas trip with a co-worker but I didn't not realize she was planning on doing Molly's with him.. While we have been together we never did or wanted to do any drugs, so this is completely out of her character. I am hurting because i know what mollys are and read that its one of the best drugs to have sex with. I am at a loss, I've tried to date and ive been with multiple people but I cant get over her... I send her good morning texts every morning and still tell her i love her. She no longer says she loves me, just replies with \"lol, bye\".. I'm surrounded by happy people but I feel alone.", "summary": "Wife of 5 years split up with me, but I cant get over her. Now she is doing drugs with a bouncer at her work on vacation. Should I keep pursuing a one sided relationship?"} {"id": "t3_3mouhs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24/f] living with a guy [27/m] (non romantic). I had a party while he was away and something valuable of his got stolen. Not sure what to do?", "post": "So I met this guy from work, he doesn't work in the same department as me but we got to talking a bit and kinda became friendly. He is a widow (his wife died 4 years ago after they were married for 3 years).\n\nAnyway we became friendly and after a while I thought he was interested in me but it turns out that he wasn't and just stuck to being friends. I had to move due to personal reasons and he offered me a place to stay with him (I also have a child). I pay him rent but it's a lot lower then what I should be paying, for the area and how nice his place is. He sticks to himself and never dates or anything (he is good looking and earns a lot so he wouldn't have trouble with it).\n\nWell he went out for work for a month and over the weekend I had a small party at our place. He has never said I couldn't have a party or anything but he kinda keeps to himself and that. The party got kinda out of hand and in the morning when I woke up I realised people got into his room and some of his stuff was missing. Now one of the things that is missing is a watch that his wife bought for him when they went on a trip. He has showed me it before and it's pretty much his prized possession.\n\nI don't know what to do here. Do I try and replace it and hope he doesn't notice? It was really personal to him. It was pretty much what he remembers his wife by and I'm pretty sure he's still not over her. I really don't want to tell him because it will absolutely crush him.\n\nWhat should I do?", "summary": "live with a guy who lost his wife, had a party, someone stole his watch which was a gift from his wife. not sure to come clean or replace it"} {"id": "t3_25hvua", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "[Help] I think I adopted a feral cat", "post": "I answered a craigslist ad for a female cat. I spoke to the owner on the phone about her temperament, history, age, health, etc. The owner claimed she was a \"rescue\" and that she had suffered possible abuse before she got her. Basically she described her as shy and skittish.I agreed to come take a look. \n\n When I arrived, she was holding the cat, (mind you she claimed she has developed an allergy to cats), she seemed relatively calm. I asked more questions about her and she said it might take her awhile to warm up. I took her home, and she immediately bolted for a hiding place. Every time I'm in the same room, she screams, spits, hisses, and lunges at me. She hasn't eaten in 3 days. She hides under my bed all day, so I keep her litter box, food and water in there so she can have a quiet environment.\n There has been no improvement in her temperament and I'm afraid she'll attack my children. After speaking to her again today she claimed to have found her on the street at 4 months of age. Now the pieces are coming together.", "summary": "adopted a cat from a woman who claimed she was just shy, turns out to have feral like qualities and seems dangerous."} {"id": "t3_v1xeo", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "As a single father, when should I be able to take my infant son?", "post": "As in, being able to take him on my own away from the mother for a few hours. I have been there since the beginning as our plan is to raise him as friends but not a couple. I buy diapers and have paid for visits to breast feeding clinics and what not, so I wouldn't call myself a deadbeat dad or anything. I try to visit him everyday or at least every other day. He is now 9 weeks old but the mother won't let him out of her sight and the thought of her letting me have him makes her inconsolable. Basically I just want to be able to take him for a few hours at a time (go to friends or my parents). At this point I can't even take him for a walk around the block. \n\nI am looking for advice from parents (especially parents that have been in my shoes or the mother's). I really want to keep the courts out of this but obviously there will come a point where I can't take it anymore and need to lawyer up. She says things like she doesn't want to miss his first laugh but how is that fair to me? So he is 9 weeks old now. What is a reasonable age for me to take him from his mother for a few hours? He is breast and bottle fed.", "summary": "I am a single father of a 9 week old boy. I want to have him for a few hours at a time but the mother won't let me take him. How old should he be?"} {"id": "t3_22lpxq", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (22/m) have a wonderful (23/f) room mate, but I can't be myself around her because of her (23/m) boyfriend. Am I being silly?", "post": "I (22/m) just naturally get along *too* well with my (23/f) room mate whenever I act like myself. We're just two people who have a lot of chemistry and really understand each other. On the very rare occasions I act like myself around her I make her laugh super easily, and get tons of reactions like \"Uhh, I know!!!\" or \"I can't believe you think that too, no one ever thinks that!!!\". I don't try to get these reactions, it's already naturally there. While she and I would never do anything inappropriate in regards to her 1 year long-distance relationship (23/m), I worry that when I'm myself there's just a lot of natural attraction that builds up pretty quick and I try to get rid of it.\n\nWhen this starts happening, I always start talking about how cute some other girl I couldn't care less about is, I'll become a bit less friendly, a bit (fake) shy where I mostly avoid eye contact, and I'll purposely pretend not to be on the same page as her. Anyways, I'm worried that if I don't keep parading this *visage* around her, we're going to end up seriously attracted to each other, even if neither of us would ever act on it by respecting her current relationship. I would love to just be myself around her, but am I doing the right thing by pretending like this Reddit? Thank you in advance for your help.", "summary": "When I (22/m) act like myself there is a lot of noticeable chemistry with my (23/f) room mate, so I act differently to throw her off because she has a boyfriend. Should I keep doing this?"} {"id": "t3_3cm8ss", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21F] bf [22M] apparently does not love his family, is that a red flag?", "post": "I have been with my bf for about a year now, and most things are great except sometimes I find him inconsiderate / immature / ungrateful etc. Then he really shocked me one day when I said he should do something for his family because that's what you do for your loved ones, and he replied very decisively with a \"but I don't love them.\"\n\nI guess it's understandable if his family is abusive / manipulative / took advantage of him and such, but that's not the case. I have met his family multiple times and they are fairly normal and nice people. He also calls his mother frequently when he has questions that older people tend to have the answer to, so it's not like they have a bad relationship. His family even supported him throughout college, with tuition, room and board, allowance and all, so he could graduate with no student loans whatsoever. When I pressed him on why he doesn't love his family he just said \"because they are very annoying and always complain about things that aren't my fault.\"\n\nHe claims that he only loves me, which is flattering to hear, but it also makes me very concerned. Now I'm starting to think that this is a huge red flag and maybe his personality flaws come from his seeming inability to love and appreciate people close to him. Am I over-thinking this?", "summary": "My boyfriend claims to not love his family even though they seem to be perfectly normal people and have supported him majorly throughout life. Should I be worried?"} {"id": "t3_54msyk", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Where can I look for financial assistance to do upgrades on the house to make it more accessible to my disabled sister? (FL - Keystone Heights)", "post": "Hello! And THANKS IN ADVANCE for ANY input!\n\nMy sister is wheelchair bound after a botched brain tumor surgery that caused her to have a stroke during surgery (THIS is *not the topic for discussion). She and her husband bought the house around 10 years ago. The house has depreciated in value since their purchase which means they cannot take out a loan against the house. Her and her husband are both teachers, which means they don't make a whole lot. ESPECIALLY in Florida.\n\nWhat I would like to help her with is some info on where to look/who to talk to about assistance to help make the house easier for her to navigate through. Widen the walls in the hallway, make the bathroom more handicap accessible, make the kitchen more accessible to her, etc. \n\nIs there maybe a federal assistance program? State? County? She went to the University of Florida in Gainesville, might your alma mater have something to look into for alumni? Any sort of lead(s) helps. Sadly, her and her husband are at a bit of a loss as to where to/how to look for info, which causes concern and stress to my parents, which means everybody is just a big ol' fun ball of depression and hopelessness! :) YAY!", "summary": "Sister is in wheelchair and house needs renovations to make it more wheelchair accessible. Is there any sort of assistance for home renovations for disabled persons?"} {"id": "t3_3exxnl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend (30F) of a year and I (29M) just broke up. But there's a wtench in this one...", "post": "...we're both married. Please hold the judgement and bashing. I know I was wrong, I'm not proud of it, and that's actually why we broke up. \n\nWe both realized that while we love each other, what we're doing is completely fucked up. We decided to stop seeing each other and do the right thing, focus on our spouses. We parted ways on good terms but agreed that we should cut off all contact completely. \n\nHow do I get over this? I'm looking forward to making things right with my wife and getting back to where we have been in the past. But I've got to go through the grieving process without any support. No one knew about the affair, and the only one who I could possibly talk to it about is the one who I absolutely cannot contact or else we'd fall back into the same pattern.", "summary": "I'm a cheating dirtbag, but I still have feelings. How do I get over the breakup all by myself?"} {"id": "t3_215nhw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16M] with my Girlfriend [16F] 2 months, Acting really strange with me.", "post": "Please try and disregard the ages on this situation. \n\nSo this girl really likes me, and I really liked her so I asked her out and she said yes. Now it's been about 2 months now and she seems...bored. I always make her feel special by buying her gifts, complimenting her, telling her I love her and that sort of thing. \n\nRecently, I was skyping her and my buddy called me and asked me if I wanted to join him for a game that was about 15 minutes away. I told my girlfriend over skype that I would have to leave and she got a little bad and hung up the call. Of course, I called her back and told her that I'm sorry that it was kinda last second, and that I hope she wouldn't mind. She didnt say anything and just hung up. I just texted her again and apologized. She has a tendency to get mad over small things really easily so I thought it would just blow over before the next day.\n\nNow she never smiles around me as much and she doesnt talk to me like we used to talk to each other. She just seems kinda bored now. I've tried talking to her about it and i've asked her if it was because of that night and she said it wasnt. But she's just been acting different around me. She's completely fine around her other friends. It's just with me.", "summary": "Girlfriend is acting strange around me after one night that I left her to go watch a game. What should I do to make her like me again?"} {"id": "t3_3d2tdx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My almost in-laws [55F, 63M] want a house key to use our [25F/27M] hot tub whenever they want. How do I say no?", "post": "I bought a house two years ago that has a hot tub. Shortly afterward I started dating someone and we recently got engaged. We are getting married in September. He moved in two weeks ago.\n\nI like my privacy. I like walking around naked after my shower and dancing in my undies in the kitchen while I make breakfast, and eating ice cream straight from the tub while I watch sad episodes on Netflix, and all kinds of other things I don't want my in-laws to walk in on.\n\nSo, when my soon-to-be mother-in-law texted saying:\n\n\"Hi X, I tried calling earlier, wanted to use the hot tub. You should make us an extra key please. :) \" \n\nMy response was:\n\n\"Sorry I missed your call, I was out to lunch! And I haven't been up for guests much lately, but you can always call and if it's a good time you're definitely welcome to come on over!\"\n\nShe responded:\n\n\"I understand! But you seem very busy so it would probably be hard to find a good time. If you made us a key that way it wouldn't interfere with your schedule.\"\n\nShe then texted again a while later saying, \"If you don't have an extra copy handy, we can pick up [fiance's] key and make a copy of it so you don't have to go to any extra trouble! Let me know when I could stop by.\"\n\nI thought about giving them a key with the requirement that they knock first, but in addition to liking my privacy when I'm already at home, I happen to like my privacy when I show up at home, as well. I want to be able to walk into my own space at the end of the day and not worry about unexpected guests. I really don't want to give them a key to show up whenever they want. \n\nIs there a way to tactfully shoot this down? My fiance is not available to jump in at the moment, so I'm on my own.", "summary": "My in-laws want a copy of my house key to use my hot tub. How do I say no tactfully?"} {"id": "t3_4lgipv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Weird situation. GF [23F] is upset with me [23M] for playing with a cursed video game controller.", "post": "I really don't know where to begin here. My girlfriend and I both live with her parents in order to save money and pay off our student loans faster, but we both work and I think we do the whole adulting thing pretty well. My girlfriend is NOT a superstitious person. She does not believe in ghosts or anything paranormal and is a highly rational person about everything except this. \n\nA couple of weeks ago we were rooting around in the attic and we found her old Playstation 2 in a big box with all its games and accessories. Score. We set everything up and gamed the night away. It's important to note that there were three controllers, two that we used and a third one that was kept in a separate box that was taped shut. I asked her about it and she said \"We don't play with that one. It's cursed.\" Apparently when she was a kid she noticed a pattern of friends and family members getting into car accidents shortly after she would play a game with the controller. After her uncle was in a fatal accident (he didn't die, but the driver of the other car did) she put away the controller for good.\n\nLike I said, my girlfriend is a very rational person who does not believe in anything supernatural. She even sounded like she was half-joking/embarrassed about it so I didn't think it was that serious. That weekend I invited a friend over to hang out and we decided to play some Playstation. Some buttons on one of the \"\"uncursed\"\" controllers were sticking and making it hard to play, so I swapped it out with the \"\"cursed\"\" controller and let my friend play with it instead. \n\nI honestly thought it was not a big deal and that my gf understood that the whole curse thing was just an irrational thing from her childhood. But she was actually kind of upset when she got home and saw it plugged in. She's boxed up the", "summary": "Non-superstitious gf is superstitious about a game controller, which I used. Now acting weirder about it than is warranted since (I think?) we both know there is not really a curse."} {"id": "t3_3hi66j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am going to ruin my [23F] relationship with my boyfriend [24M] because of my jealousy.", "post": "My boyfriend is starting a new program at school and has been meeting many new people. Some of them are girls. He's always had more girl friends than guy friends, but it's important to note that these have been strictly platonic relationships. He's never been romantically involved with any of these girls he's been friends with for years.\n\nHe's been talking (just casually) about some girls he's met, maybe a thing about them or something they said. The other day, he went over to one's apartment that she and her BF just rented. I guess she wanted to show him around/he's thinking of moving and was interested in the building. (At least that's what it seems like to me. He didn't give me a specific reason that he went over, and I didn't want to come off jealous by asking why.)\n\nAfter he told me this, I became very upset. I didn't tell him that, but I know he could see I was being weird. I couldn't eat dinner, I was being short with him. I am sure he didn't make the connection. But I'm struggling so much with this. He's never done anything to break my trust, ever. But other guys in the past have, and I think that's why I'm so upset by this whole thing. I've never met these ladies. I think I'll feel better if I meet them and they are cool/not hitting on my boyfriend. I'll probably be way worse if I feel like one of them has a crush on him.\n\nMy boyfriend probably isn't going to put up with me being short with him for very long. I know it wears on him and he doesn't know why I'm doing it. But I don't think I can be honest with him. Who wants to hear that their GF is suspicious while you're just trying to make friends and be social?", "summary": "I am mega suspicious of my BF meeting/making friends with new girls. He's never done anything to break my trust. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1umzjf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my girlfriend of 2 years [24 F], fighting often and getting sick of it", "post": "My girlfriend and I met at the tail-end of college and everything was great. We fell in love, we were both happy and fought very little. Over the past 6 months, I've noticed our fights and unhappiness is coming more frequently. We both argue and constantly have to ask \"why are you mad?\" etc.\n\nI know these are normal things in a relationship but when is it too much? She's depressed now about her day-to-day job and our sex life is not as passionate as it used to be. She almost never wants to do it anymore, and everytime we do, it's a chore for her. I find myself being annoyed by her over arbitrary things she'll say. \n\nHow should I handle this situation? I love her so much but I don't know how to move my life forward. Is this something we can come out of and how will I know when if time to end it?", "summary": "My girlfriend and I have been fighting much more frequently in the past 2 months and I need advice on how to move forward."} {"id": "t3_2bap4g", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "My little brother has autism and his mom pisses me off", "post": "My little brother is physically four now, but developmentally two. He has been diagnosed with autism, and as an older sister I have been trying my hardest to help him, but his mother does jack shit. (He is my half brother, his mother is my stepmother). \n\nShe hired therapists to work with him, and never actually tries to help him at all. She constantly threatens to beat him if he starts crying, and almost never helps comfort him. If he wakes of screaming all she tells him is 'you're a big fucking boy now, shut up and go back to fucking sleep.\" (No I am not making up the swears this is how she talks to her four year old child)\n\nHe doesn't like to talk to her at all, and I don't blame him. She gets mad when he prefers to talk to other people. She also takes any chance she can to tell other people about his disability. She acts like he's retarded, when really it's just his personality. I really wish she wasn't his mother, because she isn't doing jack shit about 'his disability that [she] is so concerned about.' \n\nI don't know, I wish I could help him more tbh. I'm only there during every other holiday and the summer months, but soon I'll stop going up. Even when I am there I don't know how to begin to help him. We're trying to teach him how to count and the alphabet, but it seems like everytime we leave then comes back, he forgets it all. Is there and easier way to teach him?\n\nRight now I use simple games that he understands, and reward him candy if he does it right. (Like hide and seek and when you find someone you have to count to ten, or alphabet bingo). \n\nIf anyone could provide me with maybe something that is easier for him to understand or learn, I would be so grateful.\n\nThanks in advance!", "summary": "my brother is autistic, his mother won't help, I need ways that he might enjoy to teach him ABC's and to count."} {"id": "t3_218g2n", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17/M] My Girlfriend [17/F] has a step-brother that's trying to do inappropriate stuff with her.", "post": "She brought this up to me a couple nights ago when he tried it again. She said that when she was younger, let's call the step-brother Gary(He's in his early twenties I would think), Gary had done this often. The other night Gary came into my girlfriends room, where she usually sleeps with her sister but she was not there. My girlfriend was alone, and Gary got in her bed and started touching her boobs. My girlfriend told him it was weird and that she had a girlfriend, trying to get him to stop. But he didn't care. He tried to go under her shirt, but she didn't let him. After that he tried touching between her legs, but she said she was on her period to make him stop. At that point he left. She sent me a text telling me this happened shortly after.\n\nShe told me, trusted it in me, and told me not to tell ANYONE because she didn't want her already slightly dysfunctional family to fall apart. I woke up my mom and told her however, because I was, and still am, very worried about my girlfriend.\n\nI've tried convincing her to tell her mom but she's very very scared. Gary was in the Air Force, so she's very scared to argue with him or use physical force to stop him if he tries again. The next day after the first incident that she told me of, everyone but her and Gary were going to leave the house. She was going to be alone with Gary. I told my mom this and I picked her up at 9 A.M. To prevent stuff from happening.\n\nToday, school started back up. She's very sick, so she's home. However, the problem is that her dad will be gone and her mom will be asleep most of the day... So there's nothing preventing Gary.\n\nI don't know what to do. I'm frightened and worried for her. What do I do?!", "summary": "My girlfriends [17/F] has a step-brother [21-25/M] has been trying inappropriate stuff with her. What do I do? "} {"id": "t3_hy9ev", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend projects her self as fairly prude and naive, afraid of the future.", "post": "I'm afraid of the future, that is.\n\nWe are both 18, in college, and have been dating for about 2 months. We haven't done anything that involves penetration or oral. (That mean's fingering as well) She's stroked me a bit, but there was no finishing. \n\nNow that that is out of the way, my main concern is that she is fairly prude. Whenever we do anything that involves us taking off our clothes, she want's the lights off. Furthermore, the one time I tried to finger her, she freaked out, stopped, and said she didn't want to risk it. I get the feeling she thinks she can get pregnant from finger. Neither of use have much sexual experience, but from what little experience I do have, I know what I'm doing. She thinks that gripping and squeezing on my junk is pleasurable. I would try and coach her, but I feel it's too early in the relationship to try and say anything; furthermore, she is fairly prude when it comes to talking about sexual things. \n\nShe has stated that she does not like it when people say very raunchy things. At this point in the relationship, I'm not willing to push the limits for the sake of a handjob. Anyway, my main concern is that when we actually make it to sex, it will be plain and boring. I don't have any extreme fetishes or anything, just the basic doggy and blowjob. I'm certain she has never given a blowjob before, but from her sheltered background, I doubt she even knows what one is. \n\nNow I'm not basing the success of our relationship on if I ever get a blowjob or not, but I've quoted her saying, \"I could go my whole life without sex\" That scares me, because I can't. She assured me after saying that by saying, \"don't worry, I'll go all the way with you.\" That's great, but I want us to enjoy a good sex life. I'm hoping her lack of sexual experience is what is creating this suggest lack of a sex drive.", "summary": "Girlfriend seemingly has no sex drive, most likely won't do anything besides missionary when we do have sex, otherwise the relationship is great."} {"id": "t3_29trnv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [30/F] is always right, and everything is always my [30 M] fault.", "post": "So this is probably nothing new but i don't really have anyone to talk to about it. Love this girl, we want to get married, and things are awesome most of the time but like any relationship there are those not awesome times.\n\nAnyway, I can't seem to offer any kind of advice on anything without being berated for it, her telling me I'm being negative, or just generally being upset when I suggest something she hadn't thought of, especially when it's totally valid.\n\nI am now afraid to counter her on ANYTHING, in order to avoid conflict. \n\nThe problem with this is that if she is doing something like working on the car or painting or fixing something or whatever, and she isn't going about it the best way, and I know a better method, but I just stand by and watch her do it wrong, when she finally sees that she's made a mistake, asks me what I would do, I tell her and she sees that it works, then it's MY fault that she messed it up because I didn't tell her how to do the thing, but if I HAD offered my suggestion from the beginning, she would have gotten mad. Classic Catch-22 or damned if you do, damned if you don't.", "summary": "Girlfriend thinks she knows the best way to do everything. When I try to help I get in trouble, when I don't help I get in trouble."} {"id": "t3_2a4xar", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Planning a Breakup. Ideas?", "post": "So I've been going out with my girlfriend for the last 6 months and we finally were able to find out the last day we're seeing each other and it's tomorrow.\n\nShe lives in university accommodation and I live at home - neither of our parents know but honestly they don't need to and this has been a perfect relationship so far. We've had arguments but they've been pretty small scale. Sex has been pretty goddamn amazing as well. I always have a good time whenever I'm with her and it's been perfectly balanced between friends, work and our relationship - honestly, I feel like we could have been married or something.\n\nThe only reason why it's ending is because she has to move back home to Dubai because she's finishing her degree. I still have another 2 years left at university. We realised tomorrow is the last day we will physically see each other ever again and I suggested dinner but that just seems way too lame.\n\nI have literally 5 hours with her, from 7pm until 12am. So redditors, with limited budget, anyone have any ideas that I can make happen within the next 36.5 hours?\n\nI have something but no idea where to go with this: \n\nFirst date: I invited myself over to her flat and watched Tangled with her, and we had our first kiss - needless to say, we ended up Tangled, lol. We also listened and waltzed to Frank Sinatra. She also did a 'Ted Mosby' on our first date - she accidentally said \"I love you\" at which point she screamed and swore and apologised. I was laughing on the way home, mainly because I liked her that much. Oh and we have a song, but I won't post it because it's way too embarrassing but I am willing to use if it someone has an idea.", "summary": "I want to give the girl I will never see again a proper send off, with limited funds and 36.5 hours from the time of this post to get something done. Any ideas?"} {"id": "t3_3bgxtz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 F] trying to lend an ear to my friend [17 M] about a failed relationship", "post": "I can't really go into too much detail as he asked me to keep all the details on the down low and I would feel guilty going against it, but he's basically been in an on/off relationship with this girl for the last eight-ish months. She was extremely emotionally abusive and manipulative, and he still wants to believe that she is a nice person. He doesn't want to let go. She ended up dumping him for someone else. He's extremely devastated and has basically let his life go and I hate seeing him like this. It's incredibly upsetting to hear about all this stuff she's done to him. I've been in a similar situation before, but I don't know how to handle it. How can I help him? I am listening, but I also don't really know how to respond to a lot of the stuff he's saying (but I want him to know I am still there after he types the long blocks of text.)", "summary": "My friend was dumped by someone extremely emotionally abusive/manipulative. He is devastated. How can I help him/offer my support?"} {"id": "t3_3nvvvq", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should I quit?", "post": "I have been working for a chain jewelry store for girls for the past year now. It's been fine, no real issues, decent and flexible hours.\n\nNow, here's the problem:\n\nI'm sick. Extremely sick. Coughing, sneezing, head ache, and my bowels are emptying themselves whenever they please whether or not I'm in the bathroom. I'm miserable, and my job includes loud music, interacting with customers, and piercing ears. Piercing ears involves being in people's faces, breathing on them, for 20+ minutes when I can barely hold the liquid napalm coming from my backside for 10-15 minutes. \n\nI told my managers last night that I had caught something and was probably going to be needing coverage. Well, it's up to the employee to find coverage for their own shifts. So, I tried my coworkers and two have other engagements that I 100% understand. The other, won't respond to my texts or calls, and it's the managers day off so she won't/can't come in. I tried other stores all of which the employees are \"already working.\" \"On vacation.\" \"I can't, sorry.\" And my favorite one was before I even got my sentence fully out \"no, sorry.\" And click. \n\nMy manager told me to try everyone again. My coworker is in the process of doing that but I haven't heard anything.\n\nI do a lot for this store, I cover shifts, I work as much as I can, I do birthday parties for them. I do a lot, but literally no one will cover me when I can't keep the contents of my stomach inside me.\n\nIs this as ridiculous as it seems? My best friend says she can get me a job at her work, and she makes a lot more than I do because she makes tips. She said the manager is great and gets your shifts covered when you're ill. She also said as long as you request off before the next schedule is up, you get your days off, which is something I liked about where I currently work. \n\nShould I put in my two weeks and move on?", "summary": "I'm shitting my brains out and no one will cover my shift at work. Manager wants me to find coverage. This has happened before and usually I end up going in because I've never been this sick. Should I quit?"} {"id": "t3_2ga9gw", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by letting my dog eat anything he gets his paws on.", "post": "Today, I fucked up by not caring when my dog was eating random crap around the house.\n\nIt was a nice day, just walking the dog with my friend on the way to buy chips (fries for you non-British people) at the local chip shop. Well, we walk through one field and fail to notice the large group of cows (these cows are *evil*. They will kill you!) to our left. We crossed over to the second field where my dog decided to take a fat dump. \n\nOr so I thought. We waited for him to do his business and when he was done we went to pick it up in a doggy bag. There was nothing there! My friend and I looked at each other in horror, then to the dog. He had a long black, crap encrusted string hanging from the butt. He the started to scoot his butt on the floor, which was worrying. \n\nI called my mother to explain that the dog had eaten something and it's now lodged in his butt. She explained \"oh, it's probably just a pair of stockings\" quite casually. I held my breath and took a closer look. She was right, oh dear God! There was nothing more I could do than pull it. \n\nAt this point, we're all on top of a hill in the field that is quite visible from 15-20 houses. I took a deep breath and pulled the stringy stocking from his ass. I kid you not, it was at least 15 inches long. The dog didn't seem to mind but I could feel the disgusted eyes of people that saw the act from their windows. My friend just laughed the whole time.\nWe never made it to the chip shop because the cows blocked us in and we had to sprint home.", "summary": "Dog ate stocking, I had to yank in out his butt hole while people around in houses probably watched in horror."} {"id": "t3_xg6f9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Is it ever OK to try and go out with a girl even if she has a boyfriend.", "post": "To be more specific, she is 19 and I am 20. This girl works at the place that I work where several of my friends work as well. Her boyfriend also works there and has been in the relationship for over a year, and therefor makes this situation allot more context sensitive. I can tell the girl is generally interested in me, (could just be friendly but we get can get chatting a lot, telling jokes, smiling, exc.). She is also friends with my friends and is how we met, basically (via as well work). \n\nIn my gut, I would really wish things could work between us, but in reality I see it as an impossible. She is one of those people you don't meet everyday, a unique and charismatic person. The other glaring issue is even if she did end up going out with me, the drama it may cause could easily not be worth it for me or her. It may just be better to write a poem or short story about it and leave it at that.", "summary": "Met a girl at my work, she has been in a relationship with her boyfriend who also works there, is in the same group of friends as me."} {"id": "t3_p3lty", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Feeling \"stuck\" in a relationship..", "post": "21F/22M/2 years+ (lived together for 4 months, moved out because it wasn't working)\n\nDepression and anxiety issues are something I can't relate to so I've been trying really hard to be as supportive as possible.. I realize that it takes a while for someone to change but it's too slow. Anyone can \"change\" better or worse incrementally, but if it's too little.. you might as well not try at all, right?\n\nI guess I'm upset because my attitude towards my partners problem is better than his. If I can care more about his problems, he could be trying harder...right?\n\nBut on the other hand, I really feel like I need him. We're best friends and I don't mind helping him as long as I see he's trying. It's just so hard when you're putting in so much effort and they can't take your feelings into consideration. I just feel disappointed day after day. I feel like a mom and I'm 21.\n\nBut I really love him and no one gets me better than him. He's emotionally perfect, and all his learned behaviors is what I have a problem with. So I think he can change.. plus I feel bad holding that against him. \n\nCan anyone offer any sort of advice? \n\nI kind of feel like I should break up with him..and I've tried but it sucks when you're their only support.. plus I like him a lot. (It would be really helpful if someone can logically guide my thought process to being okay with breaking up with him.)\n\nDoes anyone else understand this \"stuck\" feeling? If you can share your experiences I'd appreciate it a lot.\n\nThanks in advance reddit :)", "summary": "How do you cope when your partner is going through a huge emotional low? Especially one that has lasted for over half the relationship?"} {"id": "t3_dl3fi", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I got rear-ended on my way to work this morning and i'd appreciate some input", "post": "I was stopped at a traffic light waiting for it to turn green and my card gets slammed. Change is flying out of the coin tray and I'm totally rattled. I asked the driver to follow me into the parking lot and he complied. We exchanged information, there was no visible damage on either car, and he told me he let go of the brake after being fully stopped and then tapped me, so he wasn't going very fast. I have a car seat for my 6 month daughter in the back(and she wasn't in it), in California I'm obligated to replace it with a new one and I don't want to go through the hassle of reporting it to insurance and getting a new one etc. since the car seat appears undamaged. I have no desire to sue since there were no effects on me besides being rattled; it just felt like a slam when indeed it was a tap. When we were stopped at the light I saw him stopped behind me, so I know he wasn't lying. Should I go through the motions of reporting it and getting a new car seat or just forget about it: no harm no foul?", "summary": "Fender bender, their fault, no apparent damage to me the car or car seat, should I report it? "} {"id": "t3_26vucs", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the scariest fucking thing you've ever been through?", "post": "Go ahead and be funny, but I'm hoping for some legit stories.", "summary": "Tornadoes, Spinal injuries, panic, leadership, not only fear for my life, but fear for the hundred other lives I had to guard."} {"id": "t3_ewnwf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the biggest lie you've ever told?", "post": "It occurred to me just now that when I was smaller I used to lie a lot.\nI told some serious whoppers in my time.\n\nThe week before my ex and I split, I spent some time at a hotel room with this guy I knew, anyway we hung out and..you know. Had sex.\nSuffice to say my neck was covered in huge Hickeys that were EXTREMELY visible, and had turned into a dark red discolouration by the morning. \n\nSo when I got home and saw my partner I looked her straight in the eye and said 'oh god, I got bit by a spider last night when I was walking to the shops!'. I felt so incredibly guilty and horrible for it. But she somehow believed me.\n\nWe broke up shortly afterwards because I couldn't stand the fact I was cheating on her, and because we were all kinds of wrong for each other. But that is another story.\n\nSo reddit. What's the biggest lie you've ever told.", "summary": "Cheated on my girlfriend with a man, got covered in Hickeys. Pretended it was a spider bite."} {"id": "t3_ui1ah", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "BF broke up with me twice, and I don't know how to move past feeling so hurt...", "post": "Two weeks ago, my 21 yr boyfriend and I (20 yrs female) went through a really rough spot. We've been dating for 7 months, and I thought we were both really happy, but one morning I go to his apartment and found a note he had drunkenly written reminding himself to break up with me. Long story short, he said that he had been feeling too tied down and had been 'faking' the relationship for the past several weeks. We decided to take a break so he could think, since he said he still had feelings for me.\n\nThe very next day, he ends up breaking up with me, but 4 hours later, at 2 in the morning, he calls me to say that he's at my back door. He tells me that he felt really terrible and that when he went home after the breakup, he saw reminders of me everywhere, and when he went for an hour long drive, all he could think about was missing me and how he wanted me back.\n\nSo now, we're back together, but instead of spending time with him 4-5 days out of the week, its more like 1 or 2. He also promised to never lie to me about his feelings again. And I can live with the reduced contact, but I'm just so hurt from the two times he broke up with me that I feel like I can't talk to him about how I'm feeling anymore. I still want to be with him, but how can I get past the pain/betrayal? Please note that this is his first relationship.", "summary": "my boyfriend broke up with me twice in 2 days, but now we're together, and I don't know how to get past the pain/betrayal I'm feeling."} {"id": "t3_3aqrvv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 27F with my best friend 27M of 10 years, does he think about sex with me?", "post": "We've been friends for over 10 years, always platonic. We're both in serious long-term relationships and for the most part that hasn't been an issue. We've been talking on the phone fairly often while he's at work to help him pass the time. We never really talked about sex in the past but recently we've started talking about it a lot, discussing things like what our partners won't and will do. \n\nWe have a lot in common, things we enjoy doing and things we don't get to do because our partners aren't willing. I think it's great that we both have someone we feel comfortable talking about these things with, but now I find myself wondering what sex with him would be like! I'm not attracted to him physically but knowing that we're into the same stuff sexually really has me wondering. \n\nIs he thinking the same thing about me? If we're both thinking about it, will it ruin our friendship?", "summary": "My best friend and I talk to each other about sex with our partners, now I think about sex with him way too often. Does he think about it? What will happen with us?"} {"id": "t3_4pe19b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my fiance [25F] 6 years, living in my mom's downstairs apartment?", "post": "Hi Everyone!\n\nMe and Fiance are getting married in October and we are currently looking for places to rent. My mom has an apartment opening up downstairs (no shared entry way) which would be about 350/ month cheaper than other places in the area. My fiance and her friends tend to think this is unhealthy. My mom is pretty cool and not hovering at all, so I dont think it would be much of a problem but i wanted some opinions. Do you think it is worth it to save the money or should we really try to avoid it?\n\nThanks!", "summary": "Mom has a cheap place downstairs where we can rent. Fiance is concerned we are not \"spreading our wings enough\"."} {"id": "t3_4qrcnv", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I might be falling for my best friend, but I have a boyfriend?", "post": "First things first, I love my boyfriend to death, and I would never, ever, ever cheat on him. We've been together for over a year now, and I can sincerely say that I deeply care about him. We don't share the same outlook and we may ague sometimes, but it's fine. There seems to be a small problem with us not being fully honest with each other, which kind of bugs me.\n\nThen I have a best friend.\n\nWe've been friends for three years now. We share the same outlook, expect the same things from relationships, and we are completely comfortable with being fully honest with each other. He's witty, kind, and endlessly entertaining.\n\nDue to timing conflicts, I've been spending more time with my best friend than my boyfriend, and for the past 6 (maybe 7) months, I have started to feel very drawn to my best friend. I dismissed it as a passing crush at first, but the fact I haven't been able to shake it off for 7 months is extremely annoying.\n\nMy boyfriend has expressed jealousy for my friend in the past, even going as far as saying shit like: \"Well, why don't you go date {best friend} then, huh?\" So a part of me knows he's slowly picking up on it.\n\nI don't want to make my boyfriend miserable, he truly does not deserve it, but I don't want to walk out of my relationship for something like this.\n\nKeep in mind, my best friend is 8 years older than me (I'm 20), so that's another thing that holds me back from pursuing anything further, as he said over a year ago that \"I was too young for him\". Despite this, we see eye to eye in many, many things, and we do seem to care deeply about each other.\n\nIdeally, I would be able to shake off my feelings for my best friend. I would never act upon this as:\n\na) I adore my boyfriend despite our conflicts, though we've been growing apart lately.\n\nb) I don't want to fuck up my best, most stable friendship.", "summary": "I'm falling for my best friend, but I love my boyfriend too much to do anything about it. Also, I'm a pussy. Help."} {"id": "t3_38ttal", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 1.5 years, are at a crossroads, and I'm torn.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and half. We have been a long-distance couple for the entire time that we've been dating, but he was a very good friend I saw almost daily before we became a couple.\n\nI love him. He is an amazing person. No one in the world gets me the way he does or make me laugh like he does. He treats me better than I could have ever imagined possible, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that he loves me with all of his heart. \n\nWe are starting to talk about moving in together in about a year, and while the idea excites me, it also makes me pause. Because as happy as he makes me, I'm not sure if he's \"the one.\" \n\nI'm not entirely sure I believe in \"the one\" at all, but I can't help but wonder if committing permanently to him would make me miss out on something--or someone--else in the future. On the other hand, I fear that if I end our relationship because of my uncertainty to commit, it will be the biggest mistake of my life.\n\nTo put it very bluntly I long for adventure and excitement, and my relationship has settled into...something ordinary and routine. In your experiences, does every relationship eventually become that? Or do many of you still experience butterflies and excitement in your relationship?", "summary": "My long-term relationship is at the point where it's time to take things to the next level, and I'm not really sure what I want because the \"fire\" has died."} {"id": "t3_2tkw1h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My MIL (57/F) is terrified of animals and refuses to come over anymore to me and my SO's home and thinks I (27/F) got the animals to keep her away.", "post": "I have never had problems with my MIL, she's always been GREAT, like really! Never been a problem, never fought, ect. This was until a year ago. My MIL is terrified of all animals, I have always knew this. If she sees a stray cat a mile away from her she will panic. She has a few other family members who are the same way too. I say they all need therapy!\n\nI grew up in a household where we always had pets, I love animals. I cannot imagine a home without animals. Soon after me and my long term SO moved in together, we rescued 2 stray black cats. They are as nice as could be and are NOT asshole cats and are not aggressive (They do not hiss or swipe at people).\n\nI didn't even think this was a problem until we told my MIL, she freaked out. She claims that I got these cats to keep her away now. Even if I say I will lock them in a room so they can't get out (which I disagree with, I shouldn't have to do this to my cats, but I will comprise for her), she still won't come over. She even has said things like \"And of course you got BLACK cats!\", I didn't know she was superstitious? Weird.\n\nThis is becoming such a strain. I refuse to get rid of my animals for her. She thinks I am being selfish because I know of her phobia and I still got cats anyways (honestly when we got the cats we didn't even THINK of my SO's Mom......like why does it have anything to do with her?). I suggested she get therapy for her fears and she got offended and says \"I am not the problem, animals are the problem, they are dirty and belong outside, not in peoples homes\".\n\nAm I in the wrong here?", "summary": "MIL is terrified of animals, when we rescued 2 stays she took it as a personal attack and thinks I did it so she can't visit anymore."} {"id": "t3_1kf6kt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it ok to text of ex of 2 years to text to see how she is?", "post": "Hey, so its been two years, she met new guys, I met new women. When we see each other we talk casually about work, how we've been and so on. We didnt remain friends, which is totally fine by me, but still we care. A couple of weeks ago, we met at a business event, she mentioned that she had a lots of stress at work, up to the point where she got sick at the beginning of the year. We also talked about a mutual friend who got seriously ill.\n\nMy question is, is it ok to text her to ask her how shes doing now? If everything turned out fine? \n\nWhats you opinion?\n\nThe problem is, I suspect that she is thinking I never got over her, and I dont want to make that impression. I still care, but not like that.", "summary": "Should I text ex? Sorry for the title. I dont know how i messed it up that bad :) can't change it though"} {"id": "t3_46rpcd", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Second First Date", "post": "Some context before I start:\n\nI (M, 17) am going on a first date with someone (F, 16) from another school (we met on tinder, had a mutual friend vouch for me). My last relationship lasted about 6 months, but is the only relationship I have ever been in, and we were friends for a year before we started dating. \n\nEssentially, this is really my first actual \"first date\" scenario, and while I'm not terribly nervous or self-conscience, I understand that I'm terribly inexperienced at this sort of thing. I don't plan on doing anything more than kissing her good night, (we're just having dinner tonight at a good restaurant that we both love with waiters I know) I would absolutely LOVE to hear some tips that you guys have picked up through your years of going into a first date without ever having met the person you're going out with.", "summary": "I'm not looking to score, I'm looking to have a good time on a first date and would love some tips you've picked up."} {"id": "t3_1j9xak", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "What was your biggest \"WTF?\" moment on your wedding day?", "post": "Here's mine. I just had to share because it's seriously insane.\n\nI was standing kind of away from the crowd because I had to use the bathroom, and of course you get stopped a million times. So I'm chatting with one of my MILs friends, someone I've never met, mind you. We're having a pleasant conversation when my 16 year old nephew comes up to me and interrupts by saying, \"Aunt V, I need to talk to you about something.\" \n\n\"...Um, ok.\" I look awkwardly at the woman because I feel bad that our conversation was interrupted and then he goes, \"Something personal.\" The lady takes that as her cue to leave to give us privacy.\n\nHe comes up to me and says, \"Do you have any weed I can buy?\"\n\nON MY FUCKING WEDDING DAY!!!\n\nI was like, \"NO.\" and walked away.\n\nFirst of all, you are my nephew. I am NEVER selling you weed. Secondly, I DON'T SELL WEED?! Thirdly, I don't even HAVE weed. And fourth, IT'S MY FUCKING WEDDING DAY. I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO SELL YOU WEED ON MY WEDDING DAY EVEN IF I DID HAVE SOME AND I DID SELL WEED AND I FELT ALRIGHT SELLING IT TO YOU, MY 16 YEAR OLD NEPHEW. ON MY WEDDING DAY.\n\nJust had to share. It was absolutely absurd.", "summary": "My nephew interrupted a conversation to ask me if he could buy weed from me on my wedding day, in the middle of the reception."} {"id": "t3_1ilbe6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23M] girlfriend [23F] gave me an ultimatum....", "post": "I've been with my GF for 2 and a half years, we live together but at her parents house. She has been pushing the subject of marriage and kids for awhile now (we each have a kid from previous relationships) and I've told her that I want to have our own place and a stable and secure job before I go any further, I want to be able to support a family and not have to depend on others. She doesn't grasp this concept I assume. Last night she told me that she not going to wait forever, and that she just wants to marry the person she loves. My thought is that if you love someone than you can wait on marriage until they're ready and its not like I'm telling her to wait because I am with another girl. I don't know what to do honestly, I love her but this pressure and the fighting from this subject is pushing me away.", "summary": "gf gave me an ultimatum, marry her or she's walking. Don't know what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_4hxxc9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I [18/F] ask this guy [19M] if he is willing to wait for me?", "post": "I met this guy online and we been on a few dates. The last date we went on went really well. We are both looking for a relationship but the only problem is I went home for the summer and I can not see him over the summer. He seemed like he was opened to the idea of waiting and finding ways for us to see each other over the summer. He seemed very intent on continuing to pursue me. But I think he is losing interest. I know he is still active on the website we were talking on. But before I left he wasn't on there since we started talking. \n\nThe last time we hung out I made it clear I wanted to take things slow, he repeatedly told me he was okay with that. Now, when we text he always tells me how hard it is for him to take things slow. I asked if he was still okay with that and he said \"he is going to try to be\". I don't want to waste my time pinning over someone for a whole summer who does not have any interest in waiting. I want to know his intentions but I do not want to come off as clingy or obsessive, I just want to know whether or not it is worth it.", "summary": "I want to know how to ask a guy if he is going to wait for me without coming off as clingy."} {"id": "t3_4hqwec", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (18M) am starting to get over my girlfriend (18F) of one year..", "post": "We have been dating for nearly a year now, and I've felt myself getting over her for a while now (perhaps the last few months?). I feel as if that's largely due to me going through a period of a lot of stress and anxiety. The thing is we are extremely close and I know how insecure and attached she is to me. We're like bestfriends and have even been on multiple vacations together. I still love her and I would do anything for her but my romantic feelings aren't there and frankly it's killing me. I still think she's so amazingly gorgeorus too. \n\nWe are both high school seniors and likely won't go down the same path down the road after gradation. Also, it's kind of ironic because before we started dating she broke my heart and said she has never had a boyfriend because of attachment issues and all, and it was one of the first times I cried over a girl. I kind of want to end things, but I am not sure how to approach that. Furthermore, hurting her would just be so awful. I'm hating myself for getting over her and having thoughts about other women and being on my own, but those thoughts are definitely there. What should my next course of action be?", "summary": "Getting over my girlfriend of nearly one year, and I kind of want to end things but I could never hurt her. Confused of next course of action."} {"id": "t3_1l1t25", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm[24M] getting more serious with my gf [19F]think I should break things off with my bff [24F]", "post": "So I have been dating this girl since January of this year. Its going super well. I've never had a relationship be this easy and wonderful. My best friend from back home called me earlier this week, and I felt super weird about it. I love the girl I'm dating, and so talking to another girl feels wrong. The fact that we have dated sporadically over the course of our friendship probably adds to that. She never really gave me a full shot in a relationship, which is part of the reason why I have moved away from home. I wanted to find myself, to stop being someones shadow hoping that things will change. And I'm happier than I've ever been. My girlfriend treats me better than my best friend ever did.\n\nMy girlfriend knows I talk to her on the phone occasionally and seems cool with it, but I feel that if she knew the full extent of our long history she probably would be concerned about it. I think to give this relationship 100% and to be fair to my girlfriend I should tell my old best friend that I don't feel okay with us just chatting anymore.\n\nMy two questions are, firstly, does this make sense? And secondly, if it does, how do I go about doing this? Can I say this in a text? Should I call? And what do I say? Any thoughts would be quite helpful!", "summary": "Don't feel comfortable chatting with a friend who is a girl while I am in a serious relationship, not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_4v8u9y", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I need to find a way to gain money for this month's rent. Only this month!", "post": "hello I'm not sure if this is the appropriate subreddit. I am 19 years old and a full time student in college. Just some background. I was planning on getting a summer job but I got swamped with summer school. Unfortunately my school crammed two summer semester and I could no longer work due to the amount of homework and studying I had to commit to. I took summer A which has already ended and now I am in summer break. I decided since I've worked extremely hard to gain a gpa of 3.2 ( doesn't sound that high but it took me a lot of work) that I deserve a break. My mom how ever does not agree. She got mad at the idea and will now charge me rent. Should I apply for a job? I'm already getting work study for this coming fall semester which starts august 29. I need to gain money for just this month. She is asking for approximately $500.", "summary": "finished my summer semester. My mom doesn't like that I'm not doing anything and is now charging rent. I'm getting work study starting aug 29. How can I gain money for just this month?"} {"id": "t3_37xeot", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [21F] break up with my boyfriend [21M] of 1yr if my overly pious Muslim parents may prevent us from seeing each other? I feel guilty that he has to go through this.", "post": "I was born in and live in the US, raised by immigrant Pakistani-Muslim parents. Although I was raised Muslim, I don't believe in or follow the religion. For the past three years, I've lived away from home during the school year. During this time, I met my current boyfriend (white, non-religious). We have a great relationship, no serious issues, and we're definitely serious about each other.\n\nThis year, my parents decided to move me back home so that I can get closer to my religion and \"learn how to be a good wife for my future husband\". Also, they've started looking for a husband for me and have no idea that my boyfriend exists. Yes, it's ridiculous. I don't know exactly how this will play out, but I generally need to get permission before leaving the house, usually can't sleep outside the house, can't stay out late, etc. We'll probably be able to see each other occasionally but all of this is obviously going to interfere with my relationship.\n\nMy parents would not approve of my relationship and I'm pretty sure my dad would get violent if I admitted to having a boyfriend. I currently am not financially ready to move out and live on my own. (this will hopefully change after I graduate in spring 2016) \n\nShould I end my relationship so that my boyfriend can find someone who isn't so complicated? I feel so guilty that he has to be with someone who he has to jump through hoops to see. We do love each other a lot and he doesn't want to break up, but I'm afraid that staying with me isn't what will make him happiest. At the same time, I really need him, especially now while I'm dealing all of this stupidity at home. The thought of letting go of someone that gives me so much happiness and piece of mind seems impossible.", "summary": "My religious parents are going to make my relationship difficult. Should I just end it before my boyfriend has through put up with too much? Is there any way I can maintain my relationship while living at home?"} {"id": "t3_jusjf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Does Anyone else feel that Star Trek Voyageur was mostly responsible for the death of the franchise than Enterprise?", "post": "From the Original series to DS9, each show had a certain something which helped make the franchise a hit.\n\nWhen Voyager was announced, many of us fans looked forward to watching it as we thought the \"lost in space\" angel was something that would bring the series back to its routes of space exploration.\n\nWhat we got instead was more akin to \"little house on the Prairie... in Space\".\n\nI could go on a rant about how watching Kate Mulgrew's horrid acting made me cringe or how I wished someone would just shoot Nelix in his chipper face, or how much I hated the smug \"happy family\" vibe which seemed to crop up in every episode.\n\nWhat I will say is how I hated the show with a abject fucking passion and from the first episode,knew that it was the worst show in the franchise.\n\nLooking then at Enterprise, while I do agree the series was a pretty weak, it does not deserve the reputation of killing off the franchise.\n\nMore so, I would say the culprit was Voyageur, which hobbled the Star Trek franchise to such a degree that the only possible way it could of survived was if Enterprise as successful as DS9 or TNG.", "summary": "It was Voyageur that did such an amount of damage to the Star trek franchise Enterprise hadn't a hope of saving it."} {"id": "t3_2el328", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Should I [23/m] just be honest with my good friend [22/f] and tell her that I really like her?", "post": "There's actually more to this story than the title suggests. About 2 years ago this girl, who has been a good friend of mine for a while at this moment, confessed to me. Even though we were getting along really well and I was quite sure I liked her too, I panicked, making a huge fool out of myself and probably hurting her feelings too. \n\nYou see, relationships and/or commitment scare me. The thought of it alone makes me extremely uncomfortable.\n\nWe've had our time apart since but we eventually started hanging out again (same friends and all). Not sure if she still likes me but we still get along really well and make each other laugh quite often. I'm quite sure I really like this girl.\n\nJust go for it, right? Well there's one more thing. For at least 2 years I'll be going to college in another country. I'm leaving in less than a year.\n\nShould I just be honest with her? Could I even handle a long distance relationship with my fear of commitment? Is it even worth to try regardless of my feelings for this girl?", "summary": "Should I ignore my anxiety and tell my good friend I like her even though I'll be leaving the country for 2 years in less than a year?"} {"id": "t3_243emw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Need advice, I fell like I (M20) got screwed over by my friend (M23) about a laptop", "post": "Let me start this by some background. He is not so well off like I could be considered and being in this field of studies he needed a new laptop so I offered him to sell my old one for 1/2 of what it's worth, to help him, etc. Mind that I, agains my better judgment, agreed to a \"flexible\" plan of payments (around $50 a month, until the agreed price is meet).\n\nNot 2 weeks pass and he is planning on buying a new laptop, while giving my old (the one he bought from me, or will in future) to his father to use for his job. I felt really unhappy because of it. I sold my laptop to him, for a low friends price, not to his father whom I have never met. And more so he is buying a new laptop that is worth a double of what we agreed on, and still is paying in pieces.\n\nToday I tried to lie my way out of this and told him that my mom needed that laptop and even offered him $100 for the troubles. I was \"pushed\" into saying \"oh wait I talked her out of this\" because he gave me this crap about \"now I won't have my new laptop that I was planning on buying\"...\n\nAll would be better if he payed me in total, then I could forget about this and move on.", "summary": "agreed to sell my old laptop to a friend and he will pay it off in months but he then gives it to his father and buys an expensive machine for himself"} {"id": "t3_2k3xtg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it fair for my (29/f) girlfriend not want to move to my (31/m) area?", "post": "My girlfriend and I had been together just a bit over a year. We are currently in a long distance relationship, but see each other pretty often thanks to my job that pay quite decently with lot of off time. \n\nShe was supposed to move here 2015 summer after she finish college. \n\nYesterday we were talking and she say that she may would have to stay another year or two to help her mom out with her two brothers (both high school age) and grandmother! \n\nI was upset about this! Her mom is more than capable of taking care of them but she simply doesn't want to be a mother any more! She have been trying to find someone to just dump them off at! My girlfriend somehow decided that she have to be like boys' second mother!\n\nI pretty much told her that this is not fair to me. She just keep making excuses after excuses about everything then try to say we'll find a way to make it work!\n\nIs this appropriate or fair?", "summary": "Girlfriend was supposed to move to my area next summer. Decided to not because she want to stay and help her mom with her brothers!"} {"id": "t3_n3ff8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What should I say to my boss about missing my first day of work?", "post": "So a little background, I have two jobs already, I was hired at this new job, that is also full time were my other jobs are both part time. I missed my first day of work today because my cell phone died in the night which is my alarm. I would like to still have a chance to keep the job when I go in tomorrow. I've been thinking of saying that I had bad service and misheard what day she said to come in and say I thought it was Wednesday or that I had a family emergency and didn't have my phone all day.", "summary": "I need a good and believable excuse to give to my boss at my new job tomorrow for missing my first day cause my phone died. Read last sentence for my idea's."} {"id": "t3_2hw8bn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [21M] progress my relationship with my current interest [19F]?", "post": "It should probably be noted that I havent had a relationship in nearly 4 years. Due to the fact that I'm a college student I haven't had all that much time to dedicate to anyone (maybe that's just an excuse, but regardless)\n\nAnyway, I recently met this girl that I immediately clicked with. My recent trend throughout the college years has been mostly casual hookups and very very light dating, but with her things have been different. We've been out in public together, we've held hands and kissed in public, she's spent the night multiple times where we have just fallen asleep, spooning one another, and even dates have happened - god I haven't taken a girl on an actual date in years so this feels huge. \n\nI find myself constantly wanting to talk to her and hang out with her, and it feels so weird because I'm not usually like this to that extent. \n\nIt's still pretty recent, all of this, so I know I can't really say with full confidence that it means anything, and maybe it's just a lack of confidence in the situation, but I wonder if this is as real as I think it is. \n\nIs she into me the same way I'm into her? \n\nHow do I progress what we are doing into something more serious? \n\nWhen is the right time to? \n\nI'm actually quite interested in committing to something for once, and I want it to work out.", "summary": "I met a girl who makes me want to commit to something more serious, but because of my habits in college I don't know how to progress."} {"id": "t3_3t93yk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [13F] with my dad [50M] I like Taylor swift. Whenever I bring her up, he is very mean to me.", "post": "This is a really strange problem, I know.\n\nI'm a pretty big Taylor Swift fan. She's a nice persons, she makes good music, she's pretty, and I like her sense of style. I have all of her albums, and recently I got to go to one of her concerts! My older brother got me tickets.\n\nI don't bring Taylor Swift up in everyday conversations because I know not everyone likes her. And I'm cool with that! I don't like one direction, and there's nothing wrong with that. \n\nBut whenever I mention her, my dad gets really mean. My mom was showing me her Instagram because I don't have one and was curious. She had really cute pictures of her and Calvin Harris up. I went \"I hope one day I can find a guy that nice! Good for Taylor!\" And my dad just went off. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was along these lines, \"Why would you want to be like her? She's a slutty girl who can't sing! You better not be like her!\" \n\nHe does this EVERYTIME I mention her. My sister had to drive me to her concert because he wouldn't stop being mean. I just want him to stop!\n\nThank you in advance for any advice.", "summary": "dad is really rude whenever I mention Taylor Swift. How do I get him to stop? How do I talk to him about it? What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1zx1br", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (22M) need some advice about this girl (22F) I've been talking to, what do you think I should do?", "post": "So I've been talking to this girl for about 3 weeks now, and we've had sex a few times. I really like her a lot and she says she really likes me. She hasn't been in a relationship in like 2 years and neither have I. But anyway the other night she wanted to be honest with me, she said in her past she's slept with a lot of guys. Now that's usually a huge turn off for me. but I don't know r/relationships, I really like her. She said she's looking for something long-term now and doesn't want to act the way she did before. So my question to all of you is should I let her past scare me away like normal or do I give this girl a chance?", "summary": "Girl I'm talking to has slept with alot of guys, do I continue talking to her or should I be nervous?"} {"id": "t3_4u6im5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19F] BF [25 F] of 4 months has not talked to me in almost 2 weeks and I dont know what to do.", "post": "I met my Bf online. He is in Ireland and I am in the US. We have plans to meet when I study abroad in the UK I love him so much, and he loves me. There are no red flags in this relationship, except that he hasn't talked to me in a while. Id rather not my family know of our relationship until I see him, so at home we use Kik and Facebook to talk and Skype when I am in Uni. I have had times when he didnt talk to me for a few days, but he is poor so he cant afford a non glitchy phone. \n\nWe haven't had a proper conversation since the 4th of july, and the last time he responded to me was 10 days ago. He has made the excuses that \"he isn't online much\" despite it being the only way we can communicate. Its confusing to me because on kik and Facebook my messages were delivered, but he hasn't read them (despite being online Facebook recently). \n\nI try to understand that he cant be online all the time, but at least some communication would be nice. I am at my wits end with this. I am not sure if I should break up with him.", "summary": "BF isnt responding to my messages on social media for weeks, despite being online, he hasn't read any messages. Feeling frustrated and lost about how to proceed."} {"id": "t3_106brr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm 32, husband is 35, and he has recently registered for several casual sex/fling websites.", "post": "I'm 32, my husband is 35 (almost 36), and we've been married for 10 years. I have access to his e-mail because he gave me his password, but he must have forgotten that he gave me his password because he has recently registered for 4 or 5 of these \"casual dating\" websites. So far, he hasn't cheated (that I know of). I don't know what to do. He constantly says he loves me and we have a pretty good sex life. Do I confront him? Wait until he cheats? Get out now? I do LOVE him. I want to be with him and I want everything to be okay. Part of me thinks that if he hasn't cheated then I should just let it slide, but I know that I don't deserve this. I am lost.", "summary": "Husband has registered for several dating/casual sex websites despite being happy married (or so I thought). I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_4h1763", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Moving to Salem, OR from Texas after graduation, job offer didn't include travel relocation.", "post": "This week I was offered a position in Salem, Oregon. I graciously accepted the offer, as it is my dream job with great pay. \n\nUnfortunately, the offer didn't include any signing bonuses or relocation packages. The start date has not been agreed upon, but it was made clear that sooner is better than later. Also, I do not want to start my job at a college close to the beginning of the academic year in the fall. \n\nI am set to graduate May 15. I do have a part time job (12-20hrs/week) that pays ok at $13/hr, but I do not have much to my name as I pay most of my bills independently. \n\nWhat is the best plan of attack to moving 2000miles on relatively short notice with little funds? \n\n**Considerations**\n\nCurrent living situation:\n\n* Paying my own bills\n* College (and job) are 2 hours from my hometown of Houston, TX\n* Currently renting month to month (adds $100 to rent after April, will need to varify)\n* I drive a 2006 pick up truck, but it's desperately in need of maintenance (guessing $800-$1500)\n* Mostly travel around town on road bicycle; have done the same in Austin, TX\n* Family not really in a position to financially help MUCH \n* I own a boxer (dog)\n\nCurrent job:\n\n* Wage: $13/hr; 13-20hrs/week\n* Current employer is aware of situation, does not need 2 week notice\n* Current employer will allow close to 30hrs/week after graduation \n\nNew job:\n\n* Salem, Oregon\n* No relocation package\n* Start date to be discussed; I'd prefer July\n* Will ask about 1st pay check and/or paycheck advance\n\nNew living situation:\n\n* ???\n\nI am not really sure where to start, or how to even plan for this. Any help would be appreciated.\n\nThanks!", "summary": "Broke (soon-to-be) college graduate. 2-4 months to relocate 2000 miles away for new job"} {"id": "t3_sbkc2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Just mutual attraction with married man, or should I be more wary?", "post": "I'm 23F, and my training manager (not my boss) is 35M, married with a son. I know he finds me attractive because he's told me I looked \"stunning\" and \"smoking hot\" at a business dinner and the body language isn't all that subtle sometimes. However, it's always been pretty innocent.\n\nLast week was my last day working under him, so he took me out to a rather expensive sushi lunch on what I assumed was company money (not uncommon). Come to find out it was actually on his dime. The lunch sort of felt like a weird date. He was asking me questions about my life and interests, and even blushed a bit while I was talking to him, which I'd never seen him do before. He did however mention his family a little, so as to not come off as weird I guess. However, he asked me if I was \"sheltered\" when I was growing up, to which I said no and asked why he was asking, but he said \"no reason\". That was the second time he asked me that though, so I thought it was odd.\n\nBack at work, when we were both clocking out, he waited for me by his car and told me I should come get drinks with him and everyone the following week.\n\nEven though I've always had a crush on him, I still consider him a mentor at work and would like to maintain the relationship because I go to him for advice since he's so good at what he does. Do you think this sounds like something I need to be concerned about, or am I over-analyzing it?", "summary": "First job and not sure if personal relationship with boss is normal or if there's something there that might impede on our work relationship."} {"id": "t3_1znfwg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26/F] with my fiance [28 M] of 1.5 years, he won't get his teeth fixed and it's starting to make me less attracted to him", "post": "I am at my wits end. My fiance, who I love dearly, has a crack in a cap on his front tooth. In the creases of the crack it's brown, so basically it looks like he has a rotting tooth or something! It's disgusting and to be perfectly honest, I'm embarrassed because I've had multiple friends and family members bring it up to me in private. I feel guilty about my embarrassment because I love him anyway but we are not destitute, we can afford to have it fixed! I have been asking him for months now to make a dentist appointment and he gives me attitude about it and just doesn't do it. I'm thinking I should start doing something really unattractive to myself until it bothers him....half joking, half not...\n\nWhat do you think? Should I do something to make myself less attractive and if so, do you have any clever ideas? If I should take a more mature approach, what should I do here? I've tried asking him, I've alluded the fact that it is an aesthetic issue I want fixed but I haven't outright said it is gross and people think you don't brush your teeth and I can't see how it helps you in your industry (business/consulting)!", "summary": "My fiance refuses to get his cracked, brown tooth fixed, what can I do to convince him to suck it up and go to the dentist?"} {"id": "t3_bmwaa", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Do You Have Any Hotel Horror Stories?", "post": "I currently work the front desk in a hotel. I don't think this is my worst story, but it is the most recent and awfully infuriating. Today a lady demanded her money back because, according to her, a piece of bed spring that was hanging out of the bottom of her bed injured not one, not two, but three of her family members. I guess the first injury didn't convince the other two so they had to jam their legs against it as well. The lady was also a member of our corporation's membership program, so they knew exactly how to complain if they didn't get what they wanted. These complaints would damage our score in the corporation and could cause some penalties, so it was just easier to give the lady what she wanted. We credited the money back to her debit card. The family had a 1 PM checkout, but by 2 PM they were still hanging around and in no hurry to leave. I finally lit a fire under their asses. When they did leave, they had three cars fully packed with what couldn't have been less than 12 people. They were in a 4 person room. For three nights. The housekeeper, who was supposed to get off at 3 PM, then spent the next 4 hours cleaning what had to be the most disgusting thing I ever saw. They left: 4 HUGE garbage bags of trash that were spilling across the floor, cigarette butts all over the floor, weird, smelly stains in the bathroom and tub, and, of course, no towels, washcloths, or tip. And the bed spring was fine. The lady then had the nerve to call for the rest of the day complaining that we never credited her account. I tried to explain as calmly as possible that the process takes 48-72 hours to go through, but she would hear none of it. I found out later in the day that she complained through the membership program anyway.\n\nSo, I ask you reddit, what are your hotel horror stories, whether as an employee or a guest?", "summary": "I work at a hotel and accommodated a woman who, it turns out, trashed her room. She complained anyway. Tell me your hotel horror stories."} {"id": "t3_4qid6x", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Which State Tax(es) do I Pay?", "post": "Hi /r/personalfinace,\n\nI have a question regarding state taxes, and I cant seem to get a definite answer.\n\nAs a college graduate of June 2015, I searched and interviewed for multiple positions before accepting a position in New York state this past February. However, part of the hiring process is a 6-9 month temp period which I'm currently 4 months in to. The temp agency I was referred to is in northern New Jersey, which is where I also live.\n\nMy question is: Do I pay both New Jersey and New York taxes, or just New Jersey? I've asked the other temps in my group as well as the temp agency itself and still do not have a definite answer.\n\nI am currently only paying New York state taxes and this doesn't seem right. \n\nThanks!", "summary": "Live in New Jersey, work in New York, technically employed by the temp agency in New Jersey though. Currently only paying New York taxes. Is this correct?"} {"id": "t3_2iebdd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my ex boyfriend [23M], marriage, cheating, manipulation, please help me leave him for good.", "post": "Hi Reddit. \n\nMy ex boyfriend is not a good man. We dated for about eight months before I discovered that he was married, to a woman in another state who he didn't really know. Military, they married for the extra money. They do not talk, or associate in any way. But, I didn't want to be involved in the shit storm, so I broke up with him. \n\nSince then, I have tried to remain civil with him, as I would love to give him another chance when he settles his issues. He had agreed to take some time apart from me to handle his issues, namely the marriage.\n\nSince leaving him, it has been a complete and total shit storm. He lies to me, changes his story, and has gotten mildly involved with other girls, which also bothers me, because he is putting them in the same position I was put in; getting involved with someone who is married.\n\nHe does a lot of things that are right on the line of being acceptable. When I call him on them, he will try to justify it, telling me I'm just being paranoid or that I was looking too far into things. He will try to blame things on me, or absolve himself of responsibility for being married, etc.\n\nSometimes, he makes me think that it will be okay. He'll buy me flowers, surprise me with dinners, swear up and down that he loves me and wants to fix it, etc. Usually after he gets caught. Go figure. \n\nOverall, I'm fully aware it isn't a good relationship, and that this isn't healthy. For whatever reason, I'm having a really hard time leaving, and staying away. He is not a person that needs to be in my life, I know, but I keep going back. I'm worried that I will fall into a pattern of manipulation and mental abuse.", "summary": "'Relationship' with an ex has all the makings of a very negative and potentially abusive future. How can I remind myself of this, and stay away?"} {"id": "t3_1km2wl", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Online dating response: Am I being old-fashioned or logical? (F)", "post": "Okay, I have done a bit of online dating and have had good results (3 more than a year relationships, 2 proposals.)\n\nThe problem is I never meet anyone I am REALLY into, they are all great guys, but they just don't do it for me. \n\nI finally caved and signed up for EHarmony. Mostly everyone is \"meh.\" But this one guy contacted me, and I am like, yep, you are awesome. I sent him back the next automated step (EH is totally lame set up of forced communication) and he never wrote back (The first step is totally generic so it is not like I gave new info he would not be into). Of course he is the ONLY guy who stopped communication while I'm getting nudges from everyone else and their dads.\n\nHere is the question: Do I reach out and contact him? (On EH this would require me sending him an email that is accompanied by: \"This user would like to skip recommended steps in our process, do you agree to waving....\") \n\nTwo trains of thought: \n1. Of course! Why shouldn't girls reach out. What do you have to lose? He may have just gotten busy matching socks at home. \n2. Uh, he's not that into you. He is obviously on a dating site, contacting people, so it is not that he is being shy. He logs in regularly. If was interested, he would reply. \n\nAnd if I do break my internal rules, what could I possibly say? \"Hey, I noticed that you haven't replied for 3 weeks. I think you are making a grave error.\"", "summary": "Guy who sent out initial contact on dating site stopped after step one. Is there any point in contacting him, really?"} {"id": "t3_4tfyn9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my mother [38F]. She walked in on me while I was using the toilet and now she refuses to speak to me.", "post": "So basically, it's what the title says. I was using the bathroom, standing up peeing, and I dunno the bolt on the door must not have slid correctly into the lock or something, I don't even know what happened, my mother walked in on me while I was using the toilet. The toilet is dead on facing the door so my back was to her when she walked in so she couldn't have seen anything.\n\nI am so incredibly fucking confused by this. I know it sounds like a troll post but I swear to Christ it's not. Like I seriously need help what the fuck it was just a mistake???\n\nThis was yesterday morning, we were laughing and joking before this happened, but ever since she has refused to speak to me, even when I speak to her. She told my brother it's because when she walked in on me it made her feel disgusted and she felt like I was a different person to her (not verbatim but it was along those lines)\n\nI am so confused. Believe me reddit I would love if this was a joke or troll post but it is most certainly not.\n\nMy father reddits and I dunno if he knows my name so I'm using a throwaway. He hates my mom and I don't want him to have any ammunition against her.", "summary": "How do I even summarise I am so confused. My mother walked in on me while I was using the bathroom and she is refusing to speak ever since."} {"id": "t3_2uh3np", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23M] don't know how to end things with my girlfriend [21F] of six years without breaking her heart.", "post": "So here's a little background.\n\nI've been with my girlfriend for six years. We met in high-school while I was a senior and her a freshman. I love her but I don't want to spend the rest of my life with her, and telling her something like that would break her heart. \n\nWe don't have nearly as much in common now as we did six years ago, or even two years ago, and I just don't feel the \"magic\" anymore. I've been feeling this way for about a year now, and I haven't changed anything because I'm afraid and don't want to devastate her. \n\nWe haven't been intimate for about a month now, and she keeps asking if anything is wrong, but I say no every time because I'm a coward.\n\nOver the last few months I've grown more distant, and I've started to slip into a mild case of depression. I know that I don't want to be with her any more, but I still respect and love her. I understand that there will be pain in any scenario like this, but I can't think of a good way to end things without just destroying her.\n\nAny advice would be welcome, and I can supply more information upon request.", "summary": "I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years and don't feel the love anymore. Not sure how to end things without breaking her heart beyond repair."} {"id": "t3_4xqo4c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] am a model. My boyfriend [22M] has been really supportive. I have an offer to do a raunchy photo shoot that will bring a large sum of money in. I don't know if he will be OK with a Raunchy photo shoot", "post": "The title basically says it all. \n\nMy boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and we met in college. He has always been really supportive of my modelling career. Really sweet guy, and I really hope to marry him one day and start a family. \n\nA friend of mine recently told me about an opportunity to do a raunchy/sexually explicate photo shoot. She is also going to be doing it and they are going to be paying a lot for it. \n\nI find myself with the problem of I don't know if he will be OK with it. I have never had to speak to him about any of my things before, he is always fine with me doing whatever I want when it comes to my career. But I feel like I need to ask him on this one since it will be sexual. \n\nHow do I bring it up to him in a nice way/ask him if he is OK with it?", "summary": "I have an opportunity to do a raunchy photo shoot. How do I ask my boyfriend if he is OK with it"} {"id": "t3_46fosp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] with my friend [17F] of 1.5 months, I want to take things to the next level, but I don't know what's stopping her.", "post": "Hey guys, I just need a second opinion on what's going on here. So there's a girl that is a friend of a friend and we met at new years which was at my own house. My friend invited her, and throughout the night her and I really hit it off. I got her number, and Snapchat, but my parents were around so that was all that happened. Since then her and I have hung out a few times, I took her to a movie once, and she also came over to my house once. I see her quite often as well because our friend group has been hanging out together a lot lately. When we hang out just her and I, she'll let me put my arm around her or whatever and get close to her, and we kiss. But whenever we're with our friend group she seems really hesitant, and none of the above happens, and it bothers me. I asked her if it was because she doesn't have feelings for me, and she says \"I don't know exactly how I feel and it's difficult for me to tell.\" But after one incident of us being around the friend group and her being hesitant I stopped texting her so often. I used to always text first, but now that I stopped doing that she's texting me first. So why is it that she tells me \"She doesn't know how she feels\" but she still tries to talk to me, without giving me a serious answer? I'm trying to take this to the next level and it seems like she doesn't care. Lately she's been \"busy\" too, which means we haven't been able to find time to do anything. She knows that I'm really interested in her, and I don't know if she's just leading me on or if she's actually interested in me, but when I ask all I get is \"I don't know\". Is she interested, or not? How do I get a clear, concise answer?", "summary": "Girl knows I'm interested, shows interest back when we're alone, but not around friends, and when I ask her over text she says she \"doesn't know\", what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_4bc674", "subreddit": "self", "title": "I accidentally caused /r/The_Donald's rapid growth over the past month.", "post": "Before the end of this post, I will prove that it is more likely than not that me plugging /r/the_Donald in a front page post directly caused that sub to grow into what it is today.\n\nA month ago, I posted [George R. R. Martin has passed away] on /r/circlejerk. It was essentially a practical joke, and by the end I was engaging in many of those circlejerk tropes.\n\nAs a joke, and as you can see in the image, I plugged a pretty low-user sub that I had seen on /top/pasthour recently. I wasn't sure if it was a parody sub or not, but I figured it belonged in /r/circlejerk.\n\nOn the day I posted, the subreddit had 14,000 subscribers it had built up over the course of eight months. You can see the metrics here: \n\nI made that post on February 20. After that post, [its userbase exploded](\n\n[Over the course of the next eight days:](\n\n1. It was a trending subreddit for three days.\n\n2. It was the fastest growing non-default subreddit for 5 of those days.\n\n3. and it grew from 14k subscribers to 40k.\n\nIt's obviously larger now a month later with a user base of over 70k, but the original post and plug caused the rapid increase over that first week. Last night, I woke up in a cold sweat when I connected the dots and realized what I had done.", "summary": "I plugged a subreddit in my front page post, directly causing all Reddit users to see stuff about cucks more often."} {"id": "t3_1wkm3h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Married (25f) having trouble with communication, which is cause more issues.", "post": "My husband and I got married really young and up until the last 8 months we were fine. We moved to a different state for school so we had to find a roommate because we couldn't afford a place by ourselves. I get along really well with our roommate, it's easy to be myself around him and that scares me because my marriage hasn't been the greatest. I spend a good part of my day with our roommate because I'm a SAHM, we cook together, clean together, go to the gym and just chill together. So now I'm crushing really bad on my roommate, and I'm not sure what to do. (This is the second time ive had issues.) Last year same thing happened, I started crushing on him because we were spending a lot of time together. I stopped spending so much time with him (including quitting the gym). I stayed home and sort of ignored him for a bit. So now here I am again crushing bad. I literally crave him and it's driving me insane.\n\nI have not done anything with said roommate. Yes my husband knows that I had a crush last year. I've tried to invite my husband to the gym and asked h if we could have more date nights but he doesn't seem at all interested. I do t want to leave my husband, he is genuinely a great guy, I just feel we've just grown apart. (Leaving would also be difficult because we have a two year old).", "summary": "married but there is a serious lack of communication (among other things) and falling for another guy. Haven't Done anything with the other guy, but thinking about it a lot."} {"id": "t3_1jz2vn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[26/F] on day 5 of break up. What day are you on and how are you doing today?", "post": "My boyfriend and I broke up 5 days ago, as the title says. We had a rough relationship and as much as I wanted to make things better he wanted to stay who he is which caused a road block. \n\nYesterday I text him 4 times, he text me back by the 4th text. It made me happy so I showed him how happy it made me, he didn't seem to understand. He was still very confused as to why i was being so silly even after telling him I was acting happy because talking to him made me happy. \n\nBefore going to bed last night I emailed him about the dreams ive been having and somehow that broke down part of his wall but he wont talk to me about what hes going through. It may have broken down his emotional wall but it didnt break down his \"I dont want to open up\" wall. You would think that someone who went through 4 years of therapy treatment would be able either talk this out or properly manipulate the situation, he instead shuts down even though im right here, with open arms, wanting to help him through OUR break up. Sadly no one else can help him through it because his friends aren't those type of people. \n\nEither way my day is a little bit crappier than yesterday but a bit happier because he did something hes never done before and that was text me back after breaking up.\n\nI wrote this to sort of break the ice a bit. Im a bit tired of talking about my breakup, I want to hear about someone elses.", "summary": "asking people how they are doing during their breaking, wrote a little essay about my break up to hopefully help some people open up"} {"id": "t3_12crhe", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/m] started seeing [21/f] when shes contacted by ex and is now confused about what to do", "post": "so i started seeing a girl for about a month i met recently after she broke up with her ex who is a friend of mine. he was cool with the whole situation until he saw it started getting serious between me and the girl, at which point he contacted her asking for a second chance. the reason they broke up was because the guy was a complete toolbag and didnt know what he wanted in the relationship, but now, magically he does. i tried being a good friend before i made a move on the girl, by asking his permission before going for the girl and yet here we are. shes now confused about what to do, and so am i. What do i do to show her that going back to him will just end up being the same stupid things as before, without being an obsessive douchebag?", "summary": "exbf of girl im seeing is trying to get back together with her which is messing up our relationship and i dont know what to do about it"} {"id": "t3_15aw4b", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I think my relationship is verging upon being overly physical... and I don't want it that way (I'm 19/F)", "post": "Alright reddit, I need your advice\n\nI had an internship in Germany this summer and I met this guy (21/M) and we instantly became the closest of friends. There were a few \"lost in translation\" moments here and there, but his English is generally good. 3 weeks after our friendship we started become interested in each other as more than friends and he went about the most romantic way of stealing my heart. So much that a week later when it was time for me to fly back to the States, I decided to keep in touch with him until I returned to Germany in three months for my semester abroad.\n\nIn those 3 months we grew even closer together. Texted almost everyday and skyped every weekend. He even sent me surprise packages in the post, and he had all my best friends swooning. It was like having a boyfriend/best friend without the burden. We could talk to each other about absolutely anything.\n\nFast forward to December and we were so ecstatic to see each other. The first day of us being reunited went as perfectly as I dreamed it would, but it started to get weirder from there. All the suppressed sexual frustration came out too soon and two weeks after my arrival we had sex. And now I'm scared our relationship is almost 70% physical. Yeah we go out on dates, cook together, etc. But it always leads to physical outcomes, every single time we see each other. And before the sex, it was always 2nd or 3rd base.\nAlthough that doesn't take away from the fact that he treats me fantastically and goes out of his way to do so. Also if I'm not in the mood to fool around, he'll gladly listen.\n\nI know we had a mental connection, but now I feel like it's sort of simmering away. I just want to bring it back... how should I go about doing this? If nothing works then I don't know if I want a relationship. I had an awful one that ended in January (which was also overly physical) and I'm scared of getting hurt again.", "summary": "survived 3 months of long distance and now things are getting more physical than I wanted. How do I maintain a stable mental connection?"} {"id": "t3_2z1kwh", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My (29/f) relationship with my boyfriend (m/26) is in limbo. Can we overcome this?", "post": "I'm 29, my boyfriend is 26 and we've been together 1.5 years. He's been going through a very confusing time over the past 2 weeks, in fact I haven't seen him at all over this time period. He's questioning whether he wants to be with me, whether he sees a future, etc. He also said he thinks he's depressed and said it seems as if his love for me has shifted. I agree that romantic love changes to committed/attached love after the honeymoon phase wears off, but he's having a tough time accepting this. \n\nAlso it's worth mentioning that he doesn't speak to anyone else about the way he feels, only me. And that's a big weight on me when the issues he's having are about me. I've suggested therapy and he made an appointment on Friday and accidentally overslept. He's trying to get seen next week and I hope that will give him some clarity. \n\nReddit - have you ever experienced this? Is this something we can overcome? I'm hopeful, but not unrealistically so. I really think we should seek couples therapy so that we can both learn some skills in dealing with this and so that he can learn some coping skills.", "summary": "Boyfriend of 1.5 years is suddenly feeling unsure because the honeymoon phase has worn off. Can we overcome this or are we doomed?"} {"id": "t3_1gqjea", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[16/m] This Isnt a Joke Either I Need Help....", "post": "Well, Okay my story begins like any other 16 year olds. I met a girl we started dating. dated for almost a year. I fell in love with her first love, kiss etc. But after awhile I just got tired of getting treated like shit because she was selfish and all the names in the book she would get me in trouble. (She would party and make me steal alcohol from my parents which I am not a drinker) but the problem is... I cant help but miss her. Shes no good for me but I just cant help it I cant even talk to other girls without thinking of her. I feel like such a douche hat when I call the girl I'm on a date with my ex's name nothings more awkward then that.. But please I need your best advice. I'm all ears. :)", "summary": "I need relationship advice on a girl that was my first that's no good for me always getting me in trouble or trying to ruin my life but I miss her like crazy."} {"id": "t3_4le38j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] am confused about what a romantic relationship actually is.", "post": "Hello /r/relationships!\n\nAs the title implies, I have been wondering what a romantic relationship actually is.\n\nI so far haven't had any mutual relationships (or any non-mutual ones that I know of), of this kind. This means my assumptions are mostly based on fiction, second hand information and common sense.\n\nI have experienced attraction and I guess I have experienced what most people would call a \"crush\" to some extent. Romantic love to me is a very fuzzy concept. From what I understand it is not simply attraction and also \"more\" then a \"crush\".\n\nRecently I have been wondering if I might have experienced romantic love without actually noticing it as such or putting that label on it. While what I suspect might have been romantic love doesn't really satisfy the implications of fiction/second hand experience on this topic, the pattern in which I have experienced it leads me to find it reasonably likely to be exactly that.\n\nI would describe it as a desire to be known and to know the other individual completely, combined with over average caring about their wellbeing and experiencing the presence of the other as unusually pleasant. It's not tied to any desire for sexual/romantic behavior, while physical contact, as in hugs and simple touches, is experienced as pleasant.\n\nNow, all these things are to some degree part of any normal friendship to me, and considering how everybody is making such a huge fuss about romance, I would expect a more distinct difference.\n\nUsually I wouldn't care and just ignore the topic until things develop naturally, but there is a reasonable chance I will be moving in with someone I might have romantic feelings towards who is currently in a relationship with someone else and while I would really enjoy this persons company, I would like to avoid the potential drama/feeling-like-shit due to unreciprocated love I am lead to expect due to the knowledge available to me in case I actually do have these feelings.", "summary": "I am confused and in need of confirmation that what I am experiencing is or is not romantic love. Anything from personal stories to psychological descriptions might be helpful."} {"id": "t3_ejcf7", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "My 1 1/2 year old cat has apparently forgotten about the litterbox. Any advice greatly appreciated!", "post": "My roommate moved in in Sept. with two cats, each 1 1/2 years. I have since adopted the slightly-overweight male cat, and roommate moved home 2 days ago and took the other cat with her. Today while doing laundry I found cat turds in my towel pile...and upon checking the litterbox realized that he hasn't been using it at all. It's in the same place, it's the same one he's always used, litter is the same brand. A few hours later I walk by the litterbox and he's pooping three feet away from it on the rug...\n\nMy roommate never really kept the box clean, so could it maybe be that I cleaned it & put new litter in it soon as she left? I thought maybe it could be the absence of the other cat in some way, but they've been separated for up to two months before. He's eating the same brand & amount of food. \n\nHas this happened to anyone? What could be causing this, & how do I stop it before there are secret turds everywhere?!\n(I will add that this is the first cat I've had.)", "summary": "My 1 1/2 year old cat started shitting in random piles of clothes despite his litterbox being in the same location that it's been for months."} {"id": "t3_5545ju", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with my boyfriend [25M] of 1 year, not sure about moving in together and parents are not down.", "post": "Hello reddit! So here's the situation: me and my boyfriend have been together for about one year. After graduating from college in May, I ended up in an apartment with a flexible lease (can end it with 60 days notice at any point throughout the year) in an apartment about 5 minutes away from my boyfriend's house. I have one roommate, a guy that graduated a couple years before me from the same school but wasn't someone I knew previously, and his dog, who barks every time I enter the apartment and I'm generally not crazy about. I've ended up spending 99% of my time at my boyfriend's place and sleep there every night, basically using the apartment as a large closet where I go to pick up or drop off my stuff sometimes. \n\nMy boyfriend and I are very compatible and have had minimal issues \"living together\" as we have been the past few months. Only problem that could be more of an issue in the future is that he isn't the type to go out to bars or stay out late and I like to do that occasionally, but there's a bed in his basement and we've discussed that I could sleep there if I happen to be getting home way past his bedtime.\n\nIt seems like it would make sense for me to just move in with my boyfriend officially at this point and stop wasting money on the other apartment, but I know that one year isn't a very long time to have been together before making a big decision like that, especially since I'm so young. To add to that, my parents have told me that they would **not** be comfortable with me living with him and not having a backup situation in case something went wrong. \n\nI don't want to jump into this without thinking it through, but the current situation is stressing me out a lot and I'm ready for some sort of change. My boyfriend also thinks that I should move in with him (and is generally pushing it more than I am), but my parents still help me out financially and are very important to me, so I don't want to ignore their advice. Let me know what you think!", "summary": "Have been essentially living with BF for the past 3 months and not sure if I should take the plunge and move in officially, especially since parents are not down with the situation."} {"id": "t3_1jzab5", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17/m] girl i like just got out of a relationship (17/f)", "post": "Ok so I met this girl about a year ago when I started flirting with her at the mall. I got her number and we started texting each other. We hung out a couple of times but after she told me she liked someone else we started to drift apart. A couple weeks ago we started talking again. I asked her out over text and she told me that she was flattered but she had broken up with her bf about 2 weeks ago. She told me she would keep my offer in mind when she was ready to date again. She finished off by saying \" I'm just not into the whole dating thing yet\" I told her I was sorry to hear that and that she should take all the time she needs. So my question is, does she like me, what can I do to show her I really care, and what should I say to her from now on. I'm sure older redditors have good advice they can give me. Thank you! :)", "summary": "girl i like just got out of a relationship, i told her i like her she said she needs some time, I dont know how to respond or act."} {"id": "t3_3j9dxk", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "For once I'm saying that I'm done trying.", "post": "I've moved around a lot. When I get asked where I'm from it's not a simple answer. Of all the places I have lived, I only called one of them home. I spent most of my pre-college life in that town and my best friends still live there. My freshman year of college, my parents had to move. So anytime I want to see my friends I had to find the money and time to visit them myself.\n\nMy best friends from home don't really seem to care anymore though. I'm the only one who seems to make an effort. I'm the only one who tries to keep communication open, and I'm the only one who has gone to visit them (always at my own expense financially and on my own time when I could be working). The last time I was there, I decided that I'm done trying. I don't fit in their lives anymore because I don't live there anymore. Well, that's what I used to think. I started to worry that maybe I had changed too much and I was being irrational. But thinking about it more, I realized that I did change, but so did they. We all got older and changed, but in different directions. These are people who I said would never leave my life, and still don't want them to disappear. But I am killing myself trying to hold the friendship together. I know too, that if I talked to them about it, they wouldn't understand. They have both lived in the same place their entire lives and neither of them went to school far from home. They barely left. They have a place they call home and they see their families more than once or twice a year.\n\nI am almost entirely independent from my parents handling tuition and rent on my own. I have a year left in the only place I call home anymore. Couple that with applications and all the other stress constantly on my mind, and I'm a wreck. I just don't have a friend in my life right now who has gone through everything I have, and I am tired of internalizing my insecurities and fears. I'm exhausted and anxious. Had to talk to someone. Even if no one reads this, at least typing it out has done something.", "summary": "My best friends from home barely communicate with me, and I'm tired of being the only one who seems to be trying or care."} {"id": "t3_2xvhnb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with girl I've been casually dating [23 F], is it ever realistic to fight for someone's affection?", "post": "So, I've been seeing such a cool girl this past month. We've had sex twice and have seen each other a few times a week. She's pretty introverted, works for a really popular venue and is sought after by so many guys.\n\nThe thing is, we seem to have so much fun when we're around one another but I continually am getting this vibe that I'm hanging from a thread and that she doesn't like me the way I like her. I texted her two days ago to hang out, she doesn't respond. In frustration I texted her today to ask her how she feels about me because I don't want to keep having feelings for someone who doesn't value me.\n\nI actually told her I liked her about a week ago and she said she \"liked hanging out with me\", she also told me she may be moving in 8 months and she doesn't know if she wants to get attached. I thought that was her way of letting me down nicely but then we had sex the next day.\n\nAnyway, after I texted her tonight, she asked if I'd like to meet up tomorrow evening. I suggested a cocktail place since she'd be free later at night. Idk what to think about it but I feel a lot of good things for her. Is she most likely gonna let me go tomorrow? Is there any point in trying to convince her that moving away in 8 months isn't a big deal and to try to convince her to like me? I'm not one to pine for affection but is it ever worth fighting for with someone who is on the fence?", "summary": "Dating girl for a month, feels like she is ambivalent towards me. Confronted her, we are getting a drink tomorrow night. Is it unrealistic/impossible to try to talk someone into being with you?"} {"id": "t3_28j2ss", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21f] feel like it was non-consensual, my boyfriend [20m] feels like it's my fault.", "post": "Forgive me if this is a little incoherent, I'm really shaken up right now.\n\nSo last night I went to my friend's 21st birthday party. Naturally, many drinks were had by all. I usually am a really responsible drinker, but I went a bit overboard this time, I'll admit. I know it was really irresponsible to drink so much, but I was in the company of friends and people I trusted.\n\nLong story short, I fell asleep next to someone I'd met that night. Again, irresponsible move, but I just needed to crash and that's how it turned out. At some point, I woke up and remember being cuddled and sort of groped (my breasts and butt/genitals) by the guy i'd fallen asleep with. At this point I was extremely incoherent and I didn't really understand what was happening. I don't think I was really able to tell him to stop, but I definitely tried shaking him off and moving away multiple times. Eventually he stopped, apologized, and I guess I fell back asleep.\n\nIn the morning, I was sort of unsure of what happened. I don't really think it was his fault, because we were both really drunk. But I felt really disgusted and dirty and went home crying. I realize that it is partially my fault for getting drunk but I feel like this was really unsolicited and it's definitely not something I'd ever want to do.\n\nAnyways, after I slept and worked up the courage, I decided to tell my boyfriend. He reacted in ways that I never expected. He's really mad at me and basically said \"what did you expect? You should know the consequences of getting drunk.\" I think he feels like I cheated on him, but I don't feel the same.\n\nI know that getting so drunk is a bad idea, but I don't know who is in the right here. I feel like I made some shitty choices, but ultimately I also feel like he's trying to victim blame me for it, and that is really upsetting and disturbing. At the same time, maybe it is my fault for not being able to say no with my words. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "Got way too drunk, someone felt me up, boyfriend seems to hate me and I can't decide if i'm in the wrong or not."} {"id": "t3_2jgfau", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] with my (Medicated Bipolar)girlfriend[21F] of nearly 3 years, doesn't feel she doesn't love me and is non sexual, blames her medication. Help?", "post": "My GF and I have been dating for almost 3 years with a rough patch or two, but we've always smoothed it out. We have been living together for the past 1.25ish years. \n\n3 months after we moved to a new place I wasn't able to find a steady job to replace my old one, she started stressing about it and it made us more distant, I got a new one and everything seemed to be fine. The only problem being is she is still feeling nonsexual(we attributed it to the stress).\n\nI start the job and I get home from the first day of training and we start talking about random stuff, after a bit I give her a few kisses, not necessarily to start anything but mostly to test the waters. She breaks down and says she still feels nonsexual and wants to talk about some other stuff.\n\nWe talk for about 30 minutes and I find out that;\n\n-she doesn't see me in a sexual way at all, can't even try and make herself see me that way", "summary": "Medicated Bipolar GF feels she doesn't love me anymore/doesn't feel sexual, doesn't feel like herself, waiting on medication to potentially fix side effects of medication that could be causes relationship problems"} {"id": "t3_ibyju", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm trying to bring together a low-income community. What's a good-priced outdoor projector?", "post": "I and my best friend are two scrawny white-boys moving out of my parents house for college very soon. In about a month or so, we'll be in an apartment in the less-than fortunate city of Waterbury, CT. We intend to become as friendly with the community surrounding us, just to get on good terms.\n\nAfter thinking about how to go about all of this, I decided starting a free outdoor movie/media night might just work. But here's my dilemma. I and my friend are going to be freshmen in college, paying rent, and all other expenses ourselves. We'd need a cost-effective projector to suit our needs.\n\nWe're thinking about dangling massive white tarp from the back-balcony of our apartment, and using that as a screen. What would be a well-priced projector ($1k MAX) that could get a decent sized image that a large group of people could watch outside?", "summary": "Two white college-kids want to start a free outdoor movie night in the ghetto to bring together a community. They need help picking a damn projector."} {"id": "t3_20tp9w", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I don't know why I'm paranoid over her not texting back? But I am.", "post": "So I'm 22, not very experienced in relationships really, been single since I was 18 and haven't really attempted proper dating until recently.\n\nAnyway, I meet this girl through OKcupid and we've been on 8 dates since the end of January and things have been going good, we've have kissed at the end of most dates and I've really started to like her.\n\nWe've typically texted everyday since we've met, on our last date we hung out at mine house, cuddled and kissed at the end of the evening, and I set up the next time we should hang out (her day off). I texted the next day, just a casual, \"Hey, hows it going?\" text, she never got back that day, or the next day, or today up to this point, it's not unusual for her to take her time to text back, we both take our time but it's never been this long, usually only a few hours or next morning. I've started to over think that I've possibly done something wrong that I'm not aware of or she realised she's not that into me.\n\nI never realised how paranoid I've got about it until today, maybe it's just because we met on a dating site and that she could have easily have found something else. The more I write the more this sounds ridiculous, but I'm stumped, really what I'm looking for is the next course of action, should I wait it out or text her again, if so what should I say?", "summary": "Going out with girl for 1 1/2 months, typically text everyday, she hasn't texted back in almost 2 days, what should I do r/dating_advice?"} {"id": "t3_h4atw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How screwed over is my mom getting?", "post": "She makes the time clocks for a company that sells time clock hardware and employee tracking software. This company posts over $1m in profits a year. She's been there for about 11 years. Without her there (takes time off for sick or short vacation), their production line slows down. She feels like taking time off only hurts her because she has to make up for it when she gets back. Here's the part that royally pisses me off.. She only makes about $11.50/hr. \n\nShe lives somewhere with a low cost of living, but she's been with this company for so long and they know she does a good job. She feels really dedicated to the job, so much that she doesn't enjoy her vacations because of what she knows she's coming back to. And she's just happy to have a job in this economy, so she doesn't want to risk losing what she has.", "summary": "Anyone else working in production (non-union), that could tell me how much the average wage is that my mom should be expecting after 10 years of service?"} {"id": "t3_2m1wg1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my boyfriend [48 M] of 5 months, I'm having issues about our age difference", "post": "I really need some advice here. I met Spencer during the summer on an internet dating website. I had just recently broken up with my ex and kinda wanted to just have fun. Spencer and I started talking on the dating site until eventually we made plans to hang out and have sex. I always have had a thing for older guys, I'm not sure why.\n\nWhen we met up we ended up going to dinner first to get to know each other a bit. We ended up really enjoying ourselves and spent over two hours at dinner. Afterwards we head to his house and have some fun.\n\nSince then we started hanging out all the time and texting non-stop. We really enjoyed each others company.\n\nI started to meet some of his friends, so naturally I introduced him to two of my best friends. Things went great.\n\nThe problem is now that we are starting to become more long term, I am scared of our age difference. I am scared how I will be judged by society, by my family, and by some of my friends.\n\nIt is really hard for me because I sincerely like him and he likes me too. This weekend, while we were cuddling, I brought up the topic. I eventually told him, as time passes, my fears are not diminishing and I still don't feel comfortable to ever introduce him to my family. Basically stating that this wasn't a real relationship.\n\nHe ended up crying and telling me he thought I was the \"one\" for him. Since then we both have kinda of given each other time to process everything.\n\nI am very confused now. I don't know what to do. I really like him, and see that we have a lot of chemistry together. But the age difference makes it so hard, and taboo. \n\nSo my question is pretty much: if the relationship is working and making me happy, do you think I should throw it away because of fear of judgement from society about age difference?", "summary": "Dating someone way older than me. Relationship is working smoothly. I have a lot of fears about judgement from society and can't go to the next step. Should I face my fears or is this type of relationship unhealthy?"} {"id": "t3_1splxq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How often do you hang out with your friends? [Serious]", "post": "I had a conversation with my friend/workmate about friendships. I've been in a long-term relationship with my partner for over five years. I've realised that apart from the time I spend with him, the remaining time I have isn't spent much with other people other than maybe my sister or my mum.\n\nIt's not to say I don't have friends, because I do. But to be frank I don't feel like I have really have any *close* friends that I would want to spend time with as much as my SO or my family. I'm only 21. I have friends from high school, who are lovely, but when you're in high school you generally gravitate to people you get along with, and if you're lucky you form life-long bonds, which I don't think I have. I've had friends from one of the places I used to work, but now that I've moved jobs I'm sort of out of the picture.\n\nThat being said, I do have friends at my current job, and I'm at my work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I come home to my SO and on the weekends I spend time with him. On occasion, I'll hang out with my younger sister or I have one of my good friends from my old job, however it is getting harder to see her for some reason. I don't think there's anything particularly unhealthy about my social life, but the friend I was talking to seemed to think it was.\n\nJust wondering what sort of friendship dynamics everyone else has. Particularly if you're in a serious relationship - is there anyone else you're close to?\n\nI'd also like to point out that my SO is pretty much my best friend, or close to it. Apart from him, I don't think I've *ever* had a best friend. Close friends, sure. But not a 'best' friend. I'm not quite sure what constitutes a best friend (as in, someone other than your SO).", "summary": "I seem to spend most of my time with my SO and not so much with other people. How often do you spend time with your friends?"} {"id": "t3_1n2qa2", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [23f] am attracted to my best friend's [23f] ex boyfriend [25m]- how to talk to her about it", "post": "Hi R_A,\nAs you guessed from the title, I am falling for my best friend's ex from 4 years ago. \n\nThe background info:\nWhen they were dating we all hung out pretty frequently. I liked him in a friendly way, nothing more. They broke up early 2009. He and I hung out a few times after they broke up, it seemed like he needed someone to talk to. I realized I started having feelings for him and decided he and I couldn't talk anymore. I didn't feel right about dating my friend's ex that close to their breakup.\nHe moved away, I finished college. Fast forward to a few weeks ago- he contacted me and we got together for a drink. And again for coffee a week later. At this point he said he had feelings for me and I did, too. We've spent time together since, and I'm realizing that I could be really serious about him. \n\nThe point:\nTherefore, I am realizing I need to tell my friend about this. But I have no idea how. She is like family and I want to do this thing right. \nI would hope that she would be happy for me but I'm really nervous about a bad reaction. I wouldn't be, except she was in a similar but way shittier situation in high school; she cut the perpetrators out of her life. As if that weren't enough, I tend to have trouble communicating with people in general. \nHow do you suggest I talk to her about this? What do I say so that she doesn't take it personally?", "summary": "I am interested in a guy who broke up with my friend 4 years ago. I'm serious enough about him that I need to tell my friend. How do I do it?"} {"id": "t3_131ww5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is a subtle prank I can pull on my college roommate?", "post": "Some background info: I want to do a subtle prank because he does a number of things that bother me (doesn't always flush the toilet, uses my loofa, walks around with no pants on), I've addressed him about these several times, and he has done nothing to fix these problems. I've talked to my R.A., and he's not any help either, so I want to do something to get back at him. \n\nLimitations: I don't want to do anything permanent or physically harming, and we have separate rooms, with a shared bathroom and common area, so that's really the only area I have to work with.", "summary": "Roommate won't stop being gross, want to subtly prank him w/o hurting him, don't have access to his room."} {"id": "t3_1bb3g6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why don't we require more extensive gun safety education programs in order to obtain a license to carry?", "post": "This occurred to me after reading [this article](\n\nIf you look at the graph you can see that since 2005 we've had a large drop in motor vehicle deaths from 45,000 per year to about a current rate of 34,000 per year. Meanwhile deaths from firearms has slowly risen since 2005.\n\nI live in Massachusetts and I remember when I had to get my driver's license in 2005 I had to complete an extensive driver education course. This included a set number of hours in a classroom and a set number of hours behind the wheel. It took me about 6 months from getting my driver's permit to get my actual driver's license and then it took another 6 months so that I could drive between 12:30AM - 5AM and carry any passengers that were not my family members. There were strict penalties if I was found to be violating these rules. A couple years after I got my license they created even stricter requirements. Any new under-18 drivers must also have a set number of hours of watching another person drive and their parents must attend a two hour class as well.\n\nHow come we don't have similar gun safety education requirements for anyone looking to get a license to carry and/or an FID card?\n\nCurrently, all I need to do to get a class A LTC in Massachusetts is take a short (4-8) firearm safety course that may or may not include a live fire to get yourself acquainted with firing weapons. I also need to apply with my local police department and pay a $100 fee. It takes anywhere from 2-6 weeks for my application to be approved. That's basically all I need to do.", "summary": "Why is nobody talking about creating more extensive firearm education programs that ALL people need to take if they want to get a license to carry or a firearms identification card?"} {"id": "t3_3d53qn", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU but telling my brother he is the Illuminati", "post": "This happened like a week ago, I was playing in the computer and suddenly my brother approaches, I get mad when he is near me when I'm playing or reading things here on Reddit, so I told him to leave, he refused so I told him he is the Illuminati and he started crying and said \"Mom, he said Im the loominady!!!!111!!\" I lost. I culdn't stop laughing and she got mad but then since that day every triangle he sees he says \"loominady cumfirmd\" even in a public place, in school, in the street, in every place, and the worst part is everyone laughs, yeah, everyone laughs because someone says \"illuminati confirmed\"", "summary": "i told my brother he is the illuminati and when he sees a triangle he shouts that the illuminati is confirmed."} {"id": "t3_1zl4sx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (25/F) get over somebody (27/M) I wasn't even dating?", "post": "So I have a casual relationship with M/23 since November. We haven't really had the exclusive talk yet and I know he wants to get more serious.\n\nAnyway, I met this other guy through a game. We started hanging out a lot since January. I'd stay over at his house and we'd have a lot of sex. But we were only friends, maybe a little more than friends but not dating. I was even thinking of breaking it off with M/23 for this guy.\n\nAnyway, last week M/27 broke it off with me. His life is getting hectic and he needs to get it under control. He's gotten more responsibility at his job, his life is going out of control, etc. I'm devastated. The guy used to say we were going to take trips together, hinted that he would eventually ask me to move in with him, the whole shebang. I was starting to envision a life with him.\n\nNow even when I hang out with M/23, I'm still unhappy and all I can think about is M/27. We're still trying to remain friends and everything but it's really hard to talk to him. He won't budge on his decision (I got weak and asked if there was anything I could do to change his mind).\n\nHow do I get over him?", "summary": "Not dating, more than friends breaks it off with me after I thought we were going to get more serious. How do I get over him?"} {"id": "t3_3k4b62", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 F] need help/advice on breaking up with my[22 M] first serious partner.", "post": "I've been with my partner for 4 years, he is the only person who has not emotionally abused or manipulated me in some way.\n\nAlthough I know he cares about me and loves me, he is quite a lazy person, he doesn't put much effort into the relationship or his life in general. He has failed his classes and is in lots of debt. I've tried to ignore this but I also don't feel like a priority in his life, and just seem to be something that's there when he's bored.\n\nI've tried talking to him before, I've told him I'm very lonely and I feel like I don't have a partner most of the time (I don't see him often, usually for a weekend every two weeks), but he's made no effort to change and it's gotten to the point now where we are so distant that I no longer love him or feel emotionally connected to him at all.\n\nDespite this I feel incredibly guilty, he's the only person who has ever been caring towards me and I know if I needed him he'd help me with anything (If I specifically told him I needed help, but still).\n\nI don't know how to deal with the break-up, I know he's going to cry and try to get me to stay, I'm not a strong person. Also because of the long-distance, it's either going to end up with me stuck at his house, or him stuck at mine, and I know that I should go to his, but he is insisting on coming to mine this weekend, and I don't want to put him in the position where he has to make a long journey back in a state after he's travelled all the way to see me.\n\nI really need some advice; what's the best way to break it to him? And is there anything I shouldn't do in specific? \n\nThanks in advance.", "summary": "Been with boyfriend 4 years, every previous relationship I've been in has been abusive, I feel guilty because I no longer love him and don't have a valid reason to not, need help with breaking the news."} {"id": "t3_1thpbi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] with my GF [22/F] for 2.5 years. I can't tell if I am a terrible mistake by breaking up with her.", "post": "I broke up with her about a week ago and I have been feeling better each day, but I still will break down when I think about her. She lived far away so I wouldn't get to see her often. I broke up with her because I felt bored with our relationship. Whenever she visited acted like it was no big deal and we wouldn't talk that much when we were away from each other. I also started having trouble telling her that i loved her. It used to be so different for the first 2 years of our relationship, but then I think the distance started making it tough for me. She always showed that she loved me so much and I had trouble showing it back.\n\nWell now I can't stop thinking about her and I feel like I love her so much more than before. I want to ask her to take me back because I know I will be a better boyfriend and tell her I love her and do everything that i should have done. I think this will make our relationship better and we can stay together. I just don't know if that is true. It's impossible to really tell what will happen if we get back together. I want her back, but I don't want to hurt her again if I fall out of love down the road.\n\nIf I ask her to take me back will it be better now that I know what it's like without her? Or will it eventually go back to me getting bored and breaking up again? I feel completely different than I did 1 week ago.", "summary": "Broke up with my GF a week ago and I am regretting it. I miss everything about her now and I want her back. But I can't tell if I will lose interest again down the road."} {"id": "t3_1gw728", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [36M] am pushing my girlfriend [32F] away and don't know how to bring her back", "post": "We have been dating for roughly 3 months and I can honestly say it is the most satisfying relationship I have had in such a short time. Maybe it's because we both realize that we are at that point in our lives where we know what we want and we share those things with each other. \n\nI have shared things with her I have never told anyone, as I want her to be a part of my life. I suffer from Frontal lobe traumatic brain injury and was up front with her about it. Because of this damage, I can at times become irritable, mean, rude and just plain pissy. I try and control it as well as I can, but it is hard.\n\nI try not to be negative towards people, but sometimes it just flows. This is what she can't stand. She understand that it's hard for me, but I don't think she comprehends how difficult it actually is. So when she points out how I'm being rude or difficult, I get defensive. \n\nThis in turn causes a small argument. I hate that we fight and I don't want to. It just feels that she is attacking me. I know she is not, but I remind myself that after it is too late.\n\nI don't want to lose this woman. She is great. She makes me happy. I want to simply return her kindness and caring and honestly don't know how.", "summary": "Pushing girlfriend away because of anger due to medical condition. Don't know how to show her I'm trying to make it better."} {"id": "t3_4d2gej", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M/F] with A Girl [18 M/F] How to get over a girls past?", "post": "I've been getting to know this girl a bit and she's got one ugly past man. Like her and I are completely different people when it comes to that sense. We're both seniors in High School and she's slept with 8 different guys since June 4th, 2014. (she told me when she first lost her virginity). 4 being relationships and other 4 being just for fun/her being heartbroken. She use to party, and she use to blackmail people because she use to get picked on and had to stand up for herself and not get pushed around. I'm still a virgin and I don't party 'much'. Not on the same level as her. I'm on good terms with pretty much everyone. Anyways, she use to do all this so it's the past of course, but it's always in the back of my head. How do I get over her past?\n\nAlso, people have given me shit for being around this girl cause she's not exactly on good terms with everyone and this girl is one of those girls you really have to get to know and crack open to find out who she truly is. you know? So how do I get over that? How does a guy on good terms with everyone talk/see a girl that isn't on good terms with everyone and a lot of people don't like her?", "summary": "She has slept with 8 different guys since June 2014. 4 being relationships and 4 being just for fun/heart broken sex. I'm still a virgin. How do I get over this sort of past?"} {"id": "t3_3xxea3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with dad's girlfriend [40-50?F] of 6 months. She is critical, racist, and difficult to be around. Help me!", "post": "I'm going to be home over the holidays starting tomorrow and will have to deal with my dad's girlfriend who I find very difficult to be around. She and my father have been dating for 6 months and he seems happy, despite everything. I would never interfere with their relationship, and though I would prefer he dated someone else, I know that's not in my control. But I need help surviving the holidays with her.\n\nShe is critical of me (\"why did you choose this nail polish color? its such an old lady color\"/\"you need to smile more in pictures, this ISNT working for you\"), super racist (legitimately thinks that all muslims need to be \"eliminated,\" loves Donald Trump) and has even done stuff like thrown away my makeup and shower gels without asking. (She said they were \"too old\" which they totally weren't, but even if they WERE she should have asked me). She also smacked my dads butt while making eye contact with me. HOW am I supposed to react to that sh*t?? Thankfully I'll be over at my mom's house for the most part.\n\nHow do I firmly but kindly reject her comments and advice? She says stuff like \"honey, don't you want to change before going to the restaurant?\" when I'm wearing something perfectly nice and presentable. Also any tips on minimizing my time over there/escaping their guilt tactics (\"ohhh we wanted to see you more!\") would be great.", "summary": "My dad's girlfriend is racist, hyper-critical, and weird. How do I respond to the things she does...with grace?"} {"id": "t3_3skoop", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I am a US citizen but don't live in the US. I got an email saying I should register for (US) health insurance or pay a fee. Does this apply to me? Do I need to respond?", "post": "Hello, sorry if this isn't the right place. If there's another sub that's better for this, I would appreciate the advice.\n\nI got an email from healthcare.gov informing me that a deadline is approaching to enroll in health insurance or pay an ever-increasing fee. This sounds like just an info email and not something directed at me.\n\nThing is, I have not been living in the US since September of 2014 and have health care in my current country (it's nationalized + I have additional insurance). In tax time last year I had an accountant do my taxes and my foreign bank statements, but besides that I never \"told anybody\" (or made any formal statements to the government) about not being in the states. Since I still have a bank in the US and sometimes get notices from them and other things my forwarding address in the US is my parent's address.", "summary": "I am a US citizen but don't live in the US and thus don't need US health insurance. I am insured overseas. Do I need to inform any agency of this to avoid the non-insured fee?"} {"id": "t3_1lm2x0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[22/f] boyfriend[27/m] has left me feeling confused", "post": "My bf and I have been dating for 5 months, I'm in college and about 1.5 years away from getting my degree, he has a stable, decent paying job and bought a house a couple months ago that he is almost finished working on; by the end of the month he should be moved in (out of his mother's house) with 2 of his friends. We live about 25-30 min away from eachother, but while I'm at school it's closer to an hour apart. \n\nOur relationship has been good, there have been some little bumps along the way, but nothing too serious or red flag worthy. Last night, however, we had a conversation that has left me feeling... well, not too happy. \n\nBasically, he told me that he's worried he might \"change\" once he moves out on his own. He has never lived away from home, and he says he doesn't know if he'll want to experience things single once he's out of the house. I equated it to how people break up with their high school bf/gf before going to college, and he said that was a pretty accurate analogy. I could understand it, I guess... but he isn't going to college, it's not like he's suddenly going to be around thousands of new people. \n\nIt wasn't just that, he said he could also see himself marrying me and being with me forever (I feel the same way about him, though neither of us mean in the near future) but he doesn't know which way his mind is going to go once he moves out. \n\nI don't really know if I'm explaining this well... he overthinks things, and also said that this is a lot of overthinking. I told him how I felt about it all last night, but there was nothing that really felt like closure. \n\nI just don't know what to do now, or how to conduct myself. It makes me feel kind of like I'm suspended, waiting for some \"turning point\" with him. I feel like I have to impress him into keeping me around or something.", "summary": "boyfriend thinks he might want to live the single life when he moves out on his own, I don't know what to do with myself"} {"id": "t3_1akjw2", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Credit Card Advice for 18 Year Old", "post": "After unsuccessfully attempting to get a car loan due to my lack of credit, I've recently decided that I need to get a credit card in order to build some sort of credit. I've kept a checking account with BoA for several years now, and I've seen the introductory CCs they offer, but I'd like to get something that actually offers a legitimate rewards program. I spend a fair amount (anywhere from 2-4k monthly), which currently earns me nothing as I only have a debit card. I've got a fairly stable income, but this doesn't help much considering that I have zero credit. \n\nSo, I was wondering exactly how the process of using a cosigner for a credit card works. My father has excellent credit and is willing to cosign for a CC (he did so for my car loan and got me a good APR). Will this allow me to be approved for any CC that he would be approved for if he were applying just for himself?\n\nLastly, I was wondering what cards are recommended for somebody in my situation. I take a few trips a year and do a fair bit of shopping, so a CC that offers travel/shopping rewards would be great. Although a good cash rewards CC would be just as helpful in my opinion. I was originally leaning towards AMEX green or gold, but as I understand it, they do not allow cosigners. Aside from that I was considering Chase Sapphire or freedom. My father has been a Chase customer since the 80s, if that helps at all. Any suggestions???", "summary": "I'm 18 and have no credit. Spend 2-4k monthly.Need a credit card. Father with excellent credit will cosign. What are the best options for me?"} {"id": "t3_cf2el", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "It's been 2 Weeks since my 2nd Interview...Is it bad to email HR and ask if I'm still being considered?", "post": "I applied for a job in which I have a lot of experience in, and didn't get a reply at first. A month later, HR emailed me to set up an interview because the position had opened up again (They'd filled it from within before, then had to move someone around). \n\nThe process has been slow. I got an interview, heard nothing for a week and a few days, then was asked to set up a second interview. The day after the second interview, I was asked to forward a copy of my driving record (which is perfectly clean). My interview went awesome and it pretty much felt like I had the job, but...\n\nIt's now been two weeks and I haven't heard anything. I need to know if I'm still in the running, or else I need to look even harder for something else (aka, a crappy food service job so I don't starve)\n\nIs it really bad form at this point to email HR and see if I'm still being considered? All my communication outside of interviews has been by email with this HR person. And this isn't a super profession or anything...it's working as a job coach for adults with disabilities. Will I be hurting anything to ask?", "summary": "Is it bad form to email HR (as that's how we've always communicated) to see if I'm still being considered for a job after 2 interviews...but 2 weeks without a word?"} {"id": "t3_kz4yg", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "This is ruining my life and I don't know who to talk to. Any thoughts?", "post": "Okay for about 2 months I've been having anxiety attacks because for some reason it feels like I'm disconnected from my body. My arms and legs don't feel like they are there anymore sometimes and it freaks me out really bad. It's really hard to explain but it's like the exact opposite of having a phantom limb. Instead of it showing up, it just feels like it goes away. Sometimes it feels like like I'm not even here anymore because my whole body just disappears. I can still use everything like normal, but it feels like everything is missing. I've talked to a psychologist a few times and they said they have no idea what's wrong with me. I'm losing hope and am very scared. Is there anyone else who feels like this or has any idea who else I could talk to? If you need more information I'll reply as soon as I can, still have school and everything.", "summary": "My body is missing but still here at the same time. Don't know who to talk to or how to explain it. Need help bad. :("} {"id": "t3_1gplr0", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Caloric Restriction giving me headaches and cognitive slowing. I really need some help figuring out why this is happening.", "post": "I have recently started trying to lose weight via calorie counting - I cannot do Paleo or Keto for medical reasons, so calorie counting seems like the best option for me. \n\nI am not having any trouble with willpower or finding things I can eat, but I am having trouble with feeling like absolute crap. I have restricted my calories for two weeks, and every single day I have been tired, have found it hard to think, and I have had the most horrible headaches. The headaches are bad enough that I have to go lay down. These symptoms were bad enough that it was affecting my functioning - in fact, I had to stop counting calories this past week and just eat like I used to, because I had final exams at University and couldn't afford to be dull and headachey while I was studying/taking them. As soon as I went back to my old habits, all the symptoms stopped.\n\nI am 5'8\" and 242lbs. According to [this calculator] my TDEE is 2453/day, and my BMR is 2045/day. I am using MFP (plus a kitchen scale) to track my calories, and it is telling me to eat anywhere between 1250 and 1500 calories per day (depending on if I want to lose 1-2 lbs per week), so that is the limit I have set for myself. \n\nI drink plenty of water (at least 2L per day, often more). I haven't given up coffee, so I'm sure it's not caffeine withdrawal causing my headaches. I don't consume any artificial sweeteners, so it's not that. I do exercise a bit, in that I don't have a car and walk everywhere (slowly), but I haven't started any actual working out yet. \n\nIs it just that I am not eating enough calories? I am scared to eat anything above the 1500 limit - I know I was only on the diet for 2 weeks, but I didn't lose a pound eating between 1200-1500 in that time, not even water weight, so I feel like eating more would make it worse or even make me gain weight. \n\nI could just really, really use some advice if anyone has any. Thank you guys.", "summary": "I think I am doing everything right, but caloric restriction is giving me such bad headaches and lethargy that I can't function."} {"id": "t3_1tzcin", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [24/m] am having a hard time with my finacee [23/f] not wanting to go out to social gatherings", "post": "So I needed to make an account to ask this since I do not know where else to go. \nLittle bit of background, been with my so for 2 years, 7 months engaged and living together, 9 months prior to that we were long distance. She does not have very many friends in this area were we are now and for the 9 months she was long distance she had little to no friends there as well.\n\n I have been trying to get her to go out for the random drink at the bar or dinner and she is always reluctant to come or just outright denying it. The same goes for any party or social gathering that may be going on. The latest is a new years eve party which is dinner and drinks with a few friends, which is exactly what she has told me she wants in a social gathering (read not a bunch of bro's getting hammered on a sat. night).\n\nI have talked to her about my concerns with this and she just says that she does not have need for social interaction that I do. She also says that it is fine that I go to these things without her. However, I feel like I have to make excuses for her as to why she is not out with me. This really bums me out. Occasionally when I do go out without her she will give me the guilt trip of saying \"oh you're leaving me alone tonight\" kind of thing. I normally just ignore that and invite her again then leave.\n\nWhen she does come out with me she gets along great with everyone and genuinely seems to have a good time. At this point I am her main interaction other than her work,who are all older than her, and multiple calls to her mother though the day. \n\nSorry if this is a bit scattered, I am just trying to get everything down. \n\nSo should I just let it go that she doesnt want to go out? or Should I try and coax her to come out and try enjoying herself more?", "summary": "Fiancee does not want to go out to any type of social gatherings while also complaining that she has no friends in the area."} {"id": "t3_fhvvl", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I have very strong memory and it's making my life difficult. Any advice ?", "post": "I am able to readily recall bad memories associated with certain objects, photos, music, places, names, experiences (I'll call them \"activators\") from my past when these latters are seen/heard/mentioned etc in the present. They come in flashbacks to some negative memory that contained these \"activators\", and I remember them in great detail. It's very hard for me to forget a lot of things from my past and move on despite taking the usual measures (cut off all contact ...etc) \n\nExamples \n\n* When I wear a certain shirt, I immediately remember I wore it to a really bad first date. Also almost all other places I wore it.\n\n* When I hear 2 seconds of a song (on radio or club or whatever), I can remember the place and situation where I first heard it and it's usually associated with a bad event.\n\n* When I hear the name of a city I used to live in, my mind starts playing lots and lots of bad memories from that place. My ex was Spanish so whenever the country or language are mentioned my mind loads bad memories with her. \n\n* When I see a book I know, I recall the period of my life when I read it and all the negative things of that time.\n\n* when I see a hairstyle, I remember a person whom I hate with that style.\n\n* when I see an actor, I remember all the movies he/she acted in and in particular ones that I watched during a shitty period of my life. Then I recall all the bad things in that period.\n\nBetween experiencing the \"activators\" and going through the entire bad memory is a very short time, a couple of seconds max.\n\nI'm not particularly good in memorizing and such. Looked it up a bit, what I have is not exactly autobiographical memory. I wonder if there is a more accurate name for this condition and whether someone experiences this ? I'm not a pessimistic person by nature but if an \"activator\" reminds me of a good memory, I usually almost immediately associate it with a bad memory around that same time.", "summary": "Because I have good memory, a lot of things I see/hear/experience in the present time give me instantaneous flashbacks to (mostly) negative memories that involved these things and it's making me go a little insane"} {"id": "t3_1xu2c2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me F(20) Suffering feelings of hurt/anger/selfishness/betrayal all at my own hands, maybe a little to do with M(39)", "post": "I am 20, been in too many relationships to count. I'm done, It's exhausting. I just want one. I felt like I couldn't settle until I ran into the first genuine person in my life, kind and giving not wanting things in return. It kind of irked me and now I feel I had every reason to be weary. What once was a fantasy of him wanting to date a dancer he hit it off so well with quickly turned to guilt on his part. He said he felt like he was taking advantage of me, I felt vice versa. He wants someone to grow old with. I want someone to settle down with. Yet instead of seeing comparable similarities he turns me into a charity case, Helps me and gets the warm feeling of a kind donation for a girl down on her luck. Me? I just want him. I don't want bits and pieces of good, I want its whole source. He was drawing away so I finally told him how I felt. Infatuated. Me, infatuated. 39M... Well, he's happy to be there and see me 'grow' Is this healthy? He has done nothing but help but I am enraged, so angry, so sad. I guess he taught me how to settle down but not with a significant other. I'm crushed, he made me want to do so much right. Even if he still can... one day when Ms. Right does come around, I'll have to leave the picture. A twenty year old stripper friend would just be so unsightly to his future companion. Hethinks I'll be on before him, I think he's wrong. Even If I may look it I knew I would have functioned better in his company. Not to mention I get the nagging feeling that all of this relationship changing isn't just because It makes him feel right but because friends and family would never accept a decision from him to be with a girl like me. Just shattered.", "summary": "Poor me chased the older fellow tripped and bled and became enraged by his trying to help and comfort me. And his shoe was what I tripped on following too close behind"} {"id": "t3_33o5m7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(M26) ex-gf(F23) broke up with me, but she doesn't know why her feelings disappeared. I'm lost.", "post": "My girlfriend of 7 month broke up with me last week. I'm slowly getting over it, and used too the thoughts of her not being in my life anymore, even tho it still hurts. The one thing that is driving me crazy is the fact that she doesn't know why she lost her romantic feelings for me. She said i was the best boyfriend, i was an amazing person, attractive and none had treated her like this. She had a really good time when we were doing things. She really wanted it to be us in the future, but her feelings wasn't there anymore. And she don't know why herself. She was obviously very frustrated and sad about this. She said all this during and after the breakup. \n\nNow, she's over me/us, and only sees me as a friend. And i'm struggling to get closure because i'm just lost. I'm lost because i really don't know what i did wrong or what i could'v done different. I don't know what i can improve on. Is this a common thing? Can a girl just lose her feelings without knowing the reason, even tho she has a really good time with me, and thinks i'm still attractive? Anyone with a similar experience?", "summary": "Ex-girlfriend broke up with me because her feelings disappeared, but neither of us have an idea why. She's frustrated and i'm lost."} {"id": "t3_p7p3u", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "hey reddit, should i press charges? waitress rage inside.", "post": "sunday i went to lunch with a friend and two small children who are relatives. we ate at johnny rockets. our bill was 37.95, which i paid for with my credit card, and i left a 10 dollar cash tip - already over 25 percent! the service was shoddy but it was busy and the waitress was super apologetic and i also wait tables so i know how it feels to be \"in the weeds.\" \n\nchecked my bank account online last night, saw a withdrawal for 52.95. i immediately went to the restaurant and talked to a very confused but accommodating manager. she disappeared for about 10 minutes, came out, asked us to go to the back. we went to the back and she asks me if i left a 15 dollar credit card tip. no way! \n\nshe pulled up the original transaction, and the credit card report for that day, but she didn't have the receipt that i signed. she's getting it; it's been sent out already. i looked at the report and saw other transactions for that waitress that day with suspect tips; a 21 dollar bill with a 10 dollar tip and a few others. it's only been a few days so i am sure other people will come forward if they check their bank accounts or balance their checkbooks. \n\ni should hear back today or tomorrow from the manager and she said she'd cooperate if i want to take this any further. part of me knows times are tough, but you don't steal from people. the other part of me is like don't fuck with the working class, miss lady. i'm a server and i've never ever done this but i've seen it happen in other places. i know she's going to lose her job over this, though. \n\noh, and yes, i put a little dash in the tip amount line on the receipt and wrote 37.95 as the total. this leads me to believe that she turned the little dash into a 5, made it 15.00, and rewrote the total. i should have just wrote in \"cash\", lesson learned. never thought this would happen.", "summary": "left a 25%+ cash tip for a waitress, she wrote in more money on the receipt, thusly getting a 25 dollar tip on a bill for 37.95."} {"id": "t3_15njl1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(20F) don't know if he(21M) is not being understanding or if I am.", "post": "Been together for a year and 2 months, we've known each other for about 3 years before that. Basically I have decided to go away for a month to take up an important (in my eyes) work contract that will benefit me eventually once I finish school than if I work closer to home for a month (I worked there this past summer as well). He will be in school while I'm gone and when I do come back I start school again too. So I tell him before I say yes to the contract and ask how he feels about it. He tells me to do what I please. So I say yes seeing as it's something I'll enjoy. Now that I've said yes he tells me I'm being selfish and not thinking of him. He also tells me we'll no longer be able to talk via Skype since our schedules won't coincide (I work evenings and finish at 10 while he goes to school during the day) or text since my phone has no signal. I know he ends up staying up until 1 in the morning some week nights to talk and play games online with his friends. I have told him I'll buy a prepaid cell phone to be able to use while there. Now my question is as follows: am I being ridiculous for thinking that he could easily make a sacrifice for a couple game nights to talk to me? Am I being selfish or is he? I don't want to get angry about all this but it is a reoccurring problem for me and I know he's trying to be more understanding but sometimes he doesn't quite see how much he gives to his friends while I sit patiently in the background.", "summary": "my SO is not being very understanding about me leaving for a month but I think he's being a bit selfish about it."} {"id": "t3_2enmb3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (19m) thinking about breaking up with my SO (18 f) of 2.5 yrs - Is it supposed to be this hard?", "post": "I'll start this by giving a brief history of our relationship. This was the first major relationship for both of us. We were eachother's first for everything, from kissing to losing our virginities to each other. We have been together since our sophomore year of highschool, and are now both at college, 5 1/2 hours away from eachother. \nOver the summer, we hit a really rough patch. I had been having doubts about our relationship for a few weeks, and when I brought them up to her, it spiraled out of control and we almost ended the relationship. Most of my doubts centered around my worries that we weren't right for eachother. We have little in common, and it seems like a lot of the time she tolerates things I do or like rather than enjoy them.\n\nHowever, things got better and we went into this year feeling fairly confident about our status. But now that I'm away, the old doubts are returning and I can't shake them. I graduated in a class of 56 kids and am now in a major university with over 25,000 students. Being here has kind of opened my eyes in a lot of ways. Honestly, I just don't see a future in our relationship anymore. I sat down the other day and wrote a list of all the qualities I would want in a potential SO, and while my girlfriend is a great person, she doesn't really show almost any of those qualities.\n\nBasically, intellectually, I feel like breaking up is the right move. Even if I was sure about us, the distance would be a huge struggle. But the thing is, whenever I think about what I would have to say, I don't know if I can do it. It hurts to think about breaking up with this girl I have share so much with and been through so much together with. So my question is - is this normal? If anyone has been through a similar situation, or wants to offer any advice at all I would appreciate feedback.", "summary": "With GF for 2.5 years, we were eachother's firsts. In my head, I know breaking up is the right move, but I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. Wat do?"} {"id": "t3_2erdap", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "My disabled brother was at fault in a rear end collision and is now being sued by the other party for medical expenses", "post": "[location: USA]\n\nMy brother was in an accident several months ago where he rear ended the car in front of him - hard enough that that car rear ended the next car. This was his second accident (both his fault, both rear ending), but unfortunately both were in the span of a few months.\n\nToday we found out that the other party in the most recent accident is suing him in civil court for $15,000, because my brother's insurance company wouldn't pay him what he wanted for \"bodily injury\". According to the insurance company he never went to the hospital, so I assume his has no actual proof of bodily injury. They offered him some undisclosed amount, and he rejected it. So now there is a court date.\n\nThe problem: my brother is mentally handicapped. He has a valid drivers license, so he passed ALL of the requirements set forth by our state. He is legally allowed to drive, and I don't think that he is significantly more dangerous than many many other people on the road. HOWEVER, that's not what people will think when he goes to court. He can't form a coherent story, he gets lost in his own mind, every question is basically a leading question because it will affect his memory, his story and his understanding of the events. He *cannot* go to court and testify.\n\nWhat do we do?? My parents are worried that after this he will be un-insurable, or it will at least cost way more than he can afford. Do you guys have any legal advice for us at all?\n\nHis insurance company said that they would represent him, and my Dad is going to talk to another lawyer too to see if he should get additional representation. I guess my main questions are: Does my brother have to testify if this goes to court? Do you think that that will color the opinion of whoever makes these decisions? Is there anything else that we should know?", "summary": "My mentally handicapped brother is at fault in a collision and is now involved in a lawsuit. I don't think he's fit to take the stand, what do we do?"} {"id": "t3_4fjdsb", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How long to \"date\" until you become official? I am [25/m], she's 24.", "post": "Hey Reddit, first post. Hope you guys can help.\n\nI've been talking to this girl for roughly two weeks now and we've gone on a handful of dates. If I had to describe the feeling, I'd say it's overwhelming. Overwhelming because I've never clicked/felt this strongly about anyone before and it's scary in a way.\n\nIf we're being honest, I feel like she is the one. But that's a conversation for another day.\n\nAnyways, it's obvious we are both very into each other. She has sent me sweet texts saying how much she can't wait to see me again in between dates and we are both very comfortable with each other.\n\nNow, since I like her so much and everything is going so well right now, my biggest fear is messing things up. Obviously I want to be official and have a real relationship with her, but I don't want to \"move too fast\" or rush things if that makes sense.", "summary": "I guess my question is, after how long is it appropriate to have the R talk? After how long did you and your signficant other become official? "} {"id": "t3_25hmzu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (30f) told my husband (30m) he enjoys his interest and he told me I was wrong", "post": "OK so some background: we've been together 10 years, married for 5. 3 kids together. \n\nI'll try to make this quick. Basically my husband watches videos (documentaries, interviews) about a certain topic often. We were discussing it today and I said I don't personally enjoy ___ but I know you enjoy learning about ____.... He cut me off and said \"no you're wrong, I have no emotional connection to it at all\". Now, this would be OK if it were true. But he has expressed over and over his enjoyment with said interest. Also, he occupies his time with information about it, frequently. So to me it was obvious observation. Hell, he has even *said* he enjoys learning about it. \n\nThis is a very simple, stupid thing. I don't understand why he would argue against liking something he so easily expressed interest in before, for years. I guess I am looking for some insight as to why he would behave as if I did something wrong for saying something he himself has said before...? \n\nThis is not the first time things like this have happened. It seems he says things one day and says the opposite another day. Then swears up and down he never said anything different. I just don't get it. I feel like I'm going crazy. Insight, advice, tell me I'm crazy... Anything you got, I'll listen.", "summary": "Husband expresses one thing, then tells me I'm wrong when I say something, and then acts like he never expressed the original thing. "} {"id": "t3_2hp1h0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[20] Roles have reversed in relationship of 1.5 years on and off with gf [19]", "post": "FUCK MY LIFE ABSOLUTELY RAGING RIGHT NOW, I TREATED THIS GIRL LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT BECAUSE ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS GET MY DICK WET BUT NOW GETTING COMEUPPETS /rant over\n\nSo backstory to this, my girlfriend lets call her Gabrielle and I had previously had a serious relationship for approximately 1 and a bit years. This is where things started to fall apart with being on and off again. Fast forward to now.\n\nIt all started where Michelle and I were getting into the groove of things again after a shaky break up. During this period of time we hadnt put a name on our relationship so we decided to call it a \"thing\" that wasn't too serious but had the intent of evolving into a relationship eventually.\n\nSo when we get back into this \"thing\" I was going to parties and gatherings majority of the time where Michelle wasn't really my first priority and only saw her once or twice during this period. I didnt really care if she was there or not so I kind of neglected her during that time. Mean while she's there trying her absolute hardest to get my attention. At these parties I would generally make out with one or two girls. In total it wad around 7 throughout the course of the few weeks. \n\nFast forward to more recent weeks where I began to gain feelings for her and stopped heading out every weekend and making moves on women. I start to want to hang out with her as much as she did during that time where I was neglecting her and this results us to where we are now. In short, due to my borderline personality disorder I did some things that made her lose feelings for me combined with the fact that she has barely any time to hang out because of work so that just makes it even harder to get a hold of her while I'm here back with full feelings. \n\nShe claims she's confused and doesnt know what she wants. It's just so hard for me to let go. Ive tried and tried but it just doesnt work. The love I have for this girl is imense and I just don't know what I would do without her.", "summary": "neglected girlfriend by going to parties constantly, now some issues have arisen where the roles have turned and shes lost feelings because of some stupid shit I did/said."} {"id": "t3_wbzz4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is something that has happened to you, that you have no explanation for?", "post": "Our power went out last night during a storm, so we decided to pretend to play with my Ouija board. It didn't work, of course, but I remembered a time when I was about 13 years old when it did. \n\nI was at a slumber party, playing with a Ouija board with a couple of friends. We contacted a \"ghost\", who was answering questions only we knew personally correctly, while also answering questions about herself and her death. I was really skeptical, until she said she had gone to a small college in a different state that my other friend in the room's mom's friend taught at. This friend was even more skeptical than I was, and was really surprised when the college was spelled out on the board. Her mom's friend was a literature teacher there, so she asked the \"ghost\" about the literature teachers she had when she went there. Sure enough, the \"ghost\" spelled out her mother's friend's name. We were all dumbfounded. Normally, I still wouldn't have believed, but: \n\n1. My friend didn't have her hands on the board at all, she was sitting on the couch (she thought the whole game was pretty dumb)\n2. My friend is Persian, so there's no way we could have just guessed a random Persian name\n3. Like I said before, she thought the whole thing was dumb and sincerely looked surprised when it spelled out the name, therefore I really don't think anyone else knew the answer beforehand. She still doesn't believe it was a ghost to this day.", "summary": "I had an encounter with a supposed ghost that I can't explain, what is something crazy that's happened to you that you can't explain either?"} {"id": "t3_280t9a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I respond to this email? We never really talked, and we won't get another chance to.", "post": "I was taking a summer class and then some things came up and I had to drop it. \n\nSo there's a guy who sat next to me. We only exchanged words a couple times. No conversations or anything. He called me pretty once, but I didn't realize it until he walked away... -___-.... He sent me the link to a pdf once, so he had my email. \n\nAfter I dropped, he sent me an email asking if that's what I did. I confirmed it, said I had a lot going on and would retake the course later. Then he said: \n\n\"wow! well i hope you do well.\nhave a great summer Plzzrecycle!\nBest regards,\nB\"\n\n**But I don't want that to be the end!!!** \n\nHow do I respond without being lame? We aren't friends at all. Unfortunately, it never got to that point. What should I say?", "summary": "I like a guy in class. I drop the class. He emails to see what's up then says goodbye. I don't want that to be the end. How to respond?"} {"id": "t3_2fip65", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17/m]The feeling of losing everything. [16/f]", "post": "Okay so i am asking, and i'm going to try to request advise in the most non-creepy way i can think of. Here goes nothing.\nSo basically i am 17 and i went on a vacation with my family. While in branson i met the most amazing girl in my life. She looked stunning and we had everything in common i.e. we talked the entire day without really doing much else. I could tell we were an instant click so by the end o the day she gave me her phone number and she told me where she lived which, coincidentally, is about half an hour away from me. When we said our goodbye it felt like the da best eva especially considering i didn't know what would happen. The next day my phone crashes and by the time i get it fixed my parents changed the carrier company so my sim card got wiped. I started freaking out because i don't remember her last name or her phone number. The thing i have to go on is her first name her neighborhood what high school and what she looks like. Does anyone know how to i can find her? I already tried social networking but to no avail.", "summary": "I met a chick who clicks with me and i lost her contact info. I need a new way to find her."} {"id": "t3_4te6so", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by knocking over a beer bottle.", "post": "This happened yesterday. To set the scene, I was a tad buttered up on this fine Saturday afternoon at my cousin's lakehouse, sipping on my (probably) sixth High Life and already giddy from recently whipping one of my compadres at bags. Everyone's just finished eating dinner, so my cousins were in the kitchen helping clean dishes.\n\nMy uncle calls me inside and asks me if I can help him maneuver this newfangled Bluetooth grill thermometer he just got so he could use it the next night. Being the cocky techy fuck I am, I waltz right inside and over to where he has his phone and this little gadget sprawled on the counter. My first knee-jerk reaction was to reach for the center button (aka the only button) on the little device, but for some reason I reach with both hands and knock over my 3/4-full room-temperature beer with the inside of my left elbow. \n\nMy initial reaction is to immediately grab the beer, place it upright and cover it with my hand so that it doesn't overflow. To add to that brilliant plan, apparently my hand decides to instinctively cover it with my thumb instead, because hey, I have sorta thick thumbs, maybe my thumb is thick enough to stem this bottle's explosive...explosion action. Wrong. Cue the lukewarm beer foam spraying all over the kitchen. Guess they don't call it the champagne of beers for nothing.\n\nI drop the now foam-filled bottle onto the counter and look around. It was quiet for a good few seconds. It was actually pretty interesting to see how one half-bottle of warm beer can coat a kitchen in foam. The pantry door, the floor, the chairs, the counter, my uncle's shirt, all completely foamed. Thank God no phones or wall sockets got covered in foam, and the thermometer must've been waterproof because it was fine too. Without a word, I ran to the sink and grabbed a rag. After a half hour of apologizing and ferocious scrubbing, there was no more mess, but you could smell it. Hooooooly shit you could still smell it. The scene was clean, but with a stench entrenched.", "summary": "I'm a little popped up, my uncle asks me how to work some electronic thing he bought, I come in but knock over my beer and proceed to shower the kitchen in foam."} {"id": "t3_3rfp8a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Two months after I (41F) broke up with my boyfriend (53M), I am having trouble moving forward.", "post": "My boyfriend and I were together for a little over a year and a half. About a year in, I started to see warning signs that this wasn't the kind of relationship I wanted. \n\nHe was drinking heavily every night, often lying to me about it, or concealing from me that he was drunk and high. He did several things while drunk that were upsetting - crashing into my neighbor's car, picking me up drunk when I needed a ride and lying about whether he'd been drinking, confessing later that he knew he'd been too drunk to drive. \n\nHe was emotionally disconnected from me, the sex went from very frequent to 1-2 times a month, and every effort I made to gently, kindly address the situation left him feeling attacked and abandoned. I tried to fix it, and he was not a willing participant in fixing it - it was like I was betraying him by pointing out that it was breaking, and then that it was broken. \n\nFinally it was too much, and I broke up with him. I am pretty certain that it was the right thing to do. \n\nBut I still miss him so badly. We thought we were going to be together forever. I feel too guilty to go online to try and date, for fear that he will see my profile and feel betrayed. I have had the opportunity to flirt with other people, and I just can't, I feel like I would be betraying him. I still love him. I still miss him. \n\nHe says he still loves me. I have only seen him once since we broke up. I don't know what to do, or how to start to heal.", "summary": "Broke up with my boyfriend, still feel loyal to him, even though I think continuing to date him isn't a good idea. I don't want to go back, but I'm afraid I will. How to move forward?"} {"id": "t3_1s40la", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my SO [24 F] 5+ months, is there any point in timing a breakup?", "post": "OK, it's a short story. I've [24M] been with my significant other [24F] for a little more than five months and, to be honest, I think the whole sordid affair has run its course. She's a perfectly nice person but we're just not that compatible, we're both busy so we don't see each other that often (and, when we do, it's me showing up at her place at 10PM and leaving at 7AM), and our sex drives are totally on different levels (mine a lot higher than hers). \n\nI guess one can never be sure but I believe the right thing to do is breakup. To be clear, I have tried talking to her about some of the things that bother me -- we can't do much about our schedules, that's just how life/work goes; she's not a super passionate or energetic person so there's no hope of getting her to be enthusiastic to do much more than sit on the couch and watch TV; and I brought up the amount of sex we have (it's 2 times a week, maximum, and it's almost always at my initiation. We would absolutely have less sex if I didn't push the subject), but no change there either.\n\nIt's making me irritable and we're getting into fights. There's really no point to that for either of us. We both deserve to be happy and that doesn't work when I really don't enjoy the prospect of being around her anymore. Which sucks because she really is a good person. She'll be a fantastic girlfriend for someone, just not for me.\n\nHere's the wrinkle:\n\nShe's a grad student entering three weeks of finals and she's been pretty crushed with work. I am wondering what's the best option: (1) try to generally avoid her and then breakup in early January so that she can get through December without the added stress of a breakup OR (2) break up immediately, thus no prolonging this any further.", "summary": "want to break up with my significant other, unsure whether I should hold off so it doesn't impact an important academic time or just do it ASAP"} {"id": "t3_2emgwn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] broke up with my [18F] girlfriend of 3.5 years. Wondering how to deal with the loneliness.", "post": "Ok, so I have posted about this before. My girlfriend and I split after she told me she was unhappy. Come to find out she had been talking to another guy for about a month before hand and kissed him at her sisters wedding. She had been telling me that we could try again down the road but after finding that out I told her I don't know if I would want to but maybe we could be friends.\n\n I have tried to be nothing but nice to her, I told her that I forgive her and that she doesn't need to feel guilty for feelings she can't control and the only mistake she mad was not telling me sooner. I then went on to say that there is still a place for her in my life as a friend if she would ever feel comfortable with that. I really wanted to keep things on good terms because our families are somewhat close and I still care about her. Unfortunately she never replied and now none of her family members will really talk to me. The last thing I heard from them was her mother telling me that my EX does not hate me. \n\n I felt better after we initially broke up but now I find myself getting very lonely at times. It feels like half the people that cared about me have just sort of disappeared. I saw her post a picture of herself yesterday and she looked very happy. I just don't understand how someone can go from caring about someone to forgetting about them so quickly. I have tried to surround myself with friends for the most part but I always know at the end of the day its just going to me sitting alone in my room wishing I had someone to talk to :/", "summary": "Broke up with girlfriend of 3.5 years and have tried to be nice. Keep getting feelings of unshakable loneliness."} {"id": "t3_3j1mcb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "A conflicted [28/F] with her [34/M] boyfriend of 1 year. When is it time to call it quits?", "post": "I've been dating a guy for about a year now. Things are good between us for the majority of the time especially since we're both pleasant-natured, people-pleasing, and conflict-avoidant. But I don't know if it's RIGHT. I'm not sure if we're in love or if we're with each other because we're scared of being alone. \n\nI do enjoy the time I spend with him. But there have been problems with communication styles, our friend groups, our ways of dealing with conflict, and some other things (we disagree on things like recreational drug use). \n\nI'm not super young and being in grad school means its hard for me to get out and meet new people. But, I do want to be with someone who is a good fit for me and not just tread water in a relationship that won't go anywhere.", "summary": "Year-long pleasant relationship that seems lukewarm. How do you know when to end things or when to work harder on them?"} {"id": "t3_3q1i0j", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "So I (19/f) went out with a guy I really like (19/m) on Monday and this happened...", "post": "Hey guys. So I'm a college student and I just had my first break of the semester last week where I was finally able to go home and catch up with people. I'm interested in this guy that lives in my hometown, we had been out for coffee once before and although we're both pretty busy people and can't really talk a lot, we still get along great and we arranged to meet again for coffee, this time alone (yep, I had a friend with me the first time because it was pretty obvious that we were both kind of nervous). \n\nThe actual meetup went really well, we talked about just about everything for two solid hours, then at the end of all that I decided to just spill the beans about my feelings. Turns out he likes me too, but he said we should keep on meeting when I come home for breaks and that we should converse a couple more times before we really go any further into relationship territory. I asked him if he essentially was telling me \"maybe\" and he said I was right. But to me this all sounds pretty good and I'm happy with how that went. \n\nIt's important for me to note the fact that we're sort of relying on meeting in person rather than texting a lot since we really are busy, so I may not actually talk to him again until we see each other again. Also, neither one of us has ever been in a relationship. \n\nWhat I'm asking is this: does this sound like a good situation to be in? I just want some people's takes on this as I am totally new to this. Thank you!", "summary": "I meet a guy for coffee, we talk about how we feel about each other and that we're going to take things slow for now. We're both totally new to this kind of thing."} {"id": "t3_3al2so", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Need help with school?", "post": "Graduated in 2012\nApproximate Timeline:\n\nBS Communication Sciences and Disorders major Fall 2012 -maybe winter 2013\n\nThen I decided I wanted to do nursing... \n\nSpring 2013- spring 2014 pre nursing major... Noticed I only needed chemistry and decided to leave the expensive private school I was attending. Taking the chem there would cost me an additional $7000 out of pocket.\n\n Now it's summer 2015, still don't have the chem but trying to get it at community 1st half this summer (if I get it) and second half fall. \n\nDecided to apply to adn programs once I'm done but I won't be able to apply until January for next year and it's not guaranteed I'll get it. I'm not competitive enough for cal state nursing programs. There is a pretty well known private school program but it costs $70,000(2nd option).\n\nI'm 20 years old and I'd really rather not waste my life. Anyone have any tips or suggestions as to what to do. In order to not waste my life while I wait to apply. I know I should get As in the remaining courses but I wonder if I should take additional courses to work towards another major just in case this one doesn't work out. And I am also planning on applying in November to Cal state schools for fall 2016. Just in case I don't get into nursing school I have a back up plan but that means I may not graduate college til 2018 :/ help!!!", "summary": "changed major couple times. Settled on nursing. Have couple more classes. Won't be able to apply for another year due to application period. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_52msoh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [17f] parents [ 46m & 43f] bought my mom's sister's [52f] house for her asking price. After seeing the renovations we had done my aunt and niece [23f] are making it out to everyone like they got ripped off. Should I tell my parents what they are saying? What do I say when people ask me about it?", "post": "My parents always tell me not to ignore gossip but my dads business relies on his reputation for being trustworthy. I'm worried what them running their mouths to everyone who will listen might do to him. \n\nMy aunt in particular is acting like she's being the bigger person by not kicking up a fuss. She says stuff like \"It's a shame even family doesn't treat you right these days but Jesus said to turn the other cheek. Guess all we can do is pray on 'em.\" \n\nIt's not their fault she didn't think of or couldn't afford renovating! The house didn't have whatever value she thinks she lost UNTIL they put it in!", "summary": "I'm tired of my niece and aunt making it out like my parents are shady when they paid what she put her house on the market for."} {"id": "t3_48s6ak", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21F] good friend wants to carpool home for Spring break, but I plan to leave a week before she can.", "post": "Early on in the quarter--before either of us knew when our finals were--we talked about carpooling for Spring break (she doesn't have a car here), but no definite plans were made. To me, it was more of a \"if it works out\" conversation, but she took it as firm plans. The conversation wasn't even about carpool plans, but what we would do over Spring break and she said \"we should totally carpool\" and I responded with \"maybe, we probably could\" and that was the end of it. We haven't seen much of each other this quarter, so we haven't talked about it in over two months. I had completely forgotten about this.\n\nIt turns out I don't need to be here for finals week--which I literally found out yesterday--so I plan to go home next Friday the 11th whereas she has finals until the last day, Friday the 18th.\n\nShe owes me some money, so last night I asked her if she could please get it to me before break, and she sent me back something along the lines of \"Sure! I'll be done with finals at 3 pm on the 18th so I can leave anytime after that :)\" When I told her I was planning to leave on the 11th, she said I needed to wait for her because we had plans and it was really uncool for me to leave her without a ride like that. We never had official plans to ride together and our school has a ride share site, so it's not hard to find other rides home. She would also be more likely to find someone who is closer to her; using the big city that is 300 miles west of us (which nearly everyone goes to/through) as a mid-point, I live 40 miles south of it whereas she's about 50 miles North. So depending on whether or not she can find someone to meet me near the middle, it adds an extra 40-100 miles to my trip.\n\nIs it shitty of me to not wait a week for her to finish finals given our \"plans?\" \n\nWould this actually be considered ditching her?", "summary": "Friend is mad I'm not waiting a week for her to leave for Spring break because she thought we had hard plans to carpool."} {"id": "t3_2k0fy3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 F] , don't like that my boyfriend [27 M] of three years, has his ex and a few random girls he hooked up with on his Facebook, even though we are expecting a baby.", "post": "He dumped his ex (Keila - of three years) for me when I was only 17 years old.\n\nWe were together for a year before he realized he was still in love with her. He went out one night and hung out with this girl who had the hots for him and didn't come home til 6AM. (Lydia) He broke things off with me, and spent the three months we were apart trying to get her back. All the while still talking to me, I eventually won him back.\n\nFast forward two years, he's once again uphappy with our relationship and I catch him sneaking around talking to this this girl he grew up with, this stripper with two kids. (Hannah)\n\nHe breaks things off again and proceeds to make a whole bunch of new \"friends\" (Jamie - 33) (Jessica-25?) (Stephanie-19) (Andra-27?) (Angela-26?) (Ariel-18) sleeping with me on and off until (Ariel) after two weeks he realizes he DOES love me and only wants to be with me. All of this in a span of four months.\n\nNOW, we have been back together since August 12, everything has been wonderful, except.... \n\nALL OF THESE WOMEN ARE STILL ON HIS FACEBOOK.\n\nI've asked him to remove them, any time I see a post from them, or that they \"liked\" a status of his, or invited him to an event, it just reminds me of all the bad stuff that happened in my life, though it wasn't their fault, it was because of him.\n\nI love him very much, he was my first and is my only boyfriend. We are pretty darn happy now, rarely have serious arguments, we just found out we are expecting a baby. I just can't understand why he refuses to delete them. If he's not talking to them, why have them there? I'm TRYING to trust him, after all the bullshit he's done. I DO feel like he's changed, but this reluctance worries me...", "summary": "Boyfriend refuses to delete old gf's or hookups from his Facebook, even though he swears he doesn't talk to them. Am I silly for wanting him to delete them?"} {"id": "t3_27cq0i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with HSV1 (genital)", "post": "I've always been a relationship type... Never got into the whole hook up culture during college. However, the only person I've ever continuously slept with whom wasn't my boyfriend gave me genital HSV1.\n\nWe hadn't even had sex that night because neither of us had a condom and me thinking I was being safe by doing everything but with him, landed me with an std. After I was swabbed and my results came back positive for HSV1 he informed me that he got coldsores from time to time and I guess one was on its way the night he went down on me.\n\nI know the stigma attached around the word herpes is god awful. I havent been with anyone since only because im terrified to tell someone about my condition. I am fully aware that the transmission rates are low, that the virus is more common to have than not to have and that in hindsight having HSV1 is really not a big deal. \n\nI just want to know if anyone has had \"the talk\" with someone before... How did you explain it to them and what was their reaction? \n\nI'm such a social, outgoing person and whenever I meet someone who I feel has the potential of becoming closer to me, or who I could see myself catching feelings for I push them away because I know that at some point I'm going to have to tell them and I don't want their perception of me to be altered.", "summary": "I have genital HSV1 and I don't think I'll ever date again because I'm too afraid to have the talk with someone"} {"id": "t3_3r13ur", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] with my bf[22M] found messages in his social media account! Help", "post": "This is a throw for obvious reasons - he is on reddit too! :( \n\nI am in my second year of Univeristy and he is doing a post grad course at the same uni. We live with mutual friends. I have been with him for about 8 months and in that time I have caught him cheating once before through sending messages and pictures. I was distraught but didn't want to lose the relationship. So I stupidly stuck with him.\n\nTime has passed and we've had our arguments here and there and I came to the conclusion with some help of friends he doesn't know that he is an emotional manipulator. With this in mind, I carried on with the relationship like normal and he seemed to be ok.\n\nAbout two weeks ago he started acting a bit distant towards me and I had suspicions he was cheating again. He had left his laptop open on a social media account with a conversation open with the guy he cheated on before with talking about sending more pictures and more crude messages. \n\nWhen he came back in the room I pretended I hadn't seen it. It has now been 3 days and I've not said anything. Obviously I am too scared to say anything since I invaded HIS privacy and went on his facebook. I can't stay with him though since he has now cheated twice. Help!", "summary": "I had suspicions BF was cheating AGAIN, hacked into his facebook and he was talking to the person he cheated on me with before."} {"id": "t3_1sg2er", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] with my gf [18F] for 4 months, can't tell if it's worth the pain...", "post": "My GF of 4 months is very busy with school, lets me see her for like 6 hours a week so I'm not \"too much a distraction\" to her studies. She keeps telling me she genuinely wants to be in a relationship with me and does not want to break up.\n\nEver since her school started, she stopped telling me she loves me which really hurts\u2026 she texts very little\u2026 but she keeps assuring me she likes me and that she needs to focus on her studies. She does not want to break up. She says our relationship is just bad timing.\n\nAm I being too clingy or something for this causing me pain? Do I need to get a life/work as hard as her so I too can push her out of my head as much as she has done to me? Am I right to be upset with her?", "summary": "My GF genuinely can't make more time for me and I can't tell if seeing her for those few hours a week is worth all the pain of not seeing her."} {"id": "t3_2pjle8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my Boyfriend [22 M] of 2 years, I don't like him cuddling with his friends [Potentially NSFW]", "post": "**Disclaimer: we're both Gay**\n\nMy boyfriend and I just had a fight. Basically, I'm not comfortable with him cuddling with his friends, because of the potential sexual/intimate connotations attached to it. For context: I have a diaper fetish and like to use pacifiers and other baby items at times. \n\nHe allows me to continue to do this despite the fact that it makes him uncomfortable; citing the fact that he loves me and trusts me enough not to take it too far.\n\nHowever, I've posited to him that the difference between my choosing to wear diapers and his choosing to cuddle with this friends is that what I choose to do involves only myself as an individual; whereas his cuddling involves another individual.\n\nHe is now saying that if he can't cuddle with his friends, then I can't wear diapers.", "summary": "I don't feel comfortable with my boyfriend cuddling with his friends, he doesn't feel comfortable with my wearing diapers. He says that if he can't cuddle with his friends then I can't wear diapers."} {"id": "t3_17n84x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Update: Single dad (M/33) ready trying to get more time with son. Sons mother (F/32) not ready.", "post": "Here is the [original] post.\n\nSo I went to the courts and opened a case, then filed a petition for joint custody. It was a little pricey but money well spent. I am going to talk to the mother of my child this Saturday to inform her of what I have done and what to expect. She still needs to be served and I want her to know before hand so she is not blind-sided. \n\nI feel a bit more confident and am now just getting ready for the mediation hearing. If she agrees to joint physical then we just need to get our times figured out and get it signed by a judge. If she doesn't agree then we will go into mediation at which point I will get legal representation.\n\nI will update you all on how she takes the news, hope she doesn't freak out on me and that she realizes this is just about me protecting my rights as a father being able to spend quality parenting time with our son.", "summary": "Did the work, opened a case, filed for joint physical and legal custody. Telling her on Saturday before she gets served, hope she wont flip out."} {"id": "t3_2exh2z", "subreddit": "self", "title": "I'm repulsed with my country's tradition. Why does my country punish those who seek higher education?", "post": "Pissed off guy in Indonesia here. The campus \"orientation\" period in here is still ridiculous, and I've heard similar 'tradition' that's still happening in countries like India.\n\nIn western movies/films, campus orientation period is just that, an orientation period. Freshmen are told how uni works, how to manage time, school activites, etc.\n\nIt's just outright organized bullying. I don't know what started this, why seniors would one day just think \"Hey, these guys are born 2 years later than us ! Let's treat them lower than cockroaches\" and professors+uni boards went \"Sure, why the fuck not.\"\n\nI can give you some perspective since I can dig up some stuff in my language:\n\nThere's this campus which creates a mandatory \"field trip\" for all freshmen. In this particular campus, these atrocities have happened :\n\n- Freshmen forced to strip and \"make love\" to each other.\n\n- Freshmen were thrown garlic water as in to burn their eyes. \n\n- Freshmen were forced to drink seawater.\n\n- Freshmen were given up to 2 water bottle to drink to share with their entire class-year. \n\nNote that all the \"disciplinary committees\" who oversee all of the campus orientation period act like prison guards, who pick 1 freshmen who stands out to torture. In this particular case, an overweight freshman got more extra attention by all the seniors. The student, Fikri, died of dehydration during that \"field trip.\"\n\n[Source] there are just a myriad of bizarre things that happens during \"campus orientation\" here. But I think what I state above gives you a general impression of what I'm talking about. \n\nJust what is the psychology behind this behavior? Seniors can join a student committee which are just usual student committee stuff. But some seniors can join \"disciplinary committee\" and suddenly it's all okay to break bad on a psychotic power trip against freshmen ?", "summary": "Here's an imgur album of [pictures.] Those are university students for fucks sake! Why do my country punish those who seek higher education?"} {"id": "t3_3u0avm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20M] Girlfriend [21F] of 8 months health is deteriorating due having anxiety attacks ~3 times a day and feels completely alone in dealing with them.", "post": "I'll attempt to keep this brief and to include all important information\n\nThis is my Girlfriends first real relationship, we moved in together very quickly after getting together and things as of the last few weeks have been spiralling quickly downwards.\n\nWe have always been to talk very openly about our relationship and about each other.\n\nAs of late she has lost trust in me and she catches herself questioning everything I say, she is worried to open up to me as she is concerned I will get annoyed or upset.\n\nShe has a history of depression and panic attacks neither of which have been a problem until recently, now its usual to have ~3 panic attacks a day which is taking a toll on her health physically and mentally. She hasn't been eating and when she does it results in her throwing it all back up.\n\nShe has nobody she feels comfortable opening up to and refuses to seek professional help as she has 'done it all before'.\n\nWe both want this relationship to work and she knows the situation at the minute isn't healthy for either of us. She can see that it is taking its toll on me also now which just upsets her even further.\n\nShe recognises that she doesn't balance the relationship with the rest of her life (work/study/friends/family) as I do leaving an in-balance in the relationship. \n\nShe recognises it would help if she could balance her life better and not be 100% consumed by the relationship.\n\nI want to make sure she has somebody she can talk to outside of the relationship as I think it will help her get her thoughts straight.\n\nWhat can I do or say to help her?", "summary": "Girlfriend feels consumed by relationship, is suffering from ~3 panic attacks daily from anxiety concerning the security of our relationship. I'm feeling incapable of helping her and need advice on how to break the cycle and help her?"} {"id": "t3_2gb2y4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [27 M] roommate [23 M/F] of a year regularly gets really mad while playing/watching soccer, I don't really know how to respond to it", "post": "edit: Roommate is 23 M. Whoops.\n\nHe is always shouting \"Are you serious?! Oh my god! That's a fucking red, ref!\" and stuff like that. He bangs his table sometimes. And he's just watching soccer alone. It would be less unusual to me if he were sharing it with his friends and they were all getting riled up. But it is just him on his laptop, yelling at his laptop. Or when he plays FIFA, he'll say the same stuff.\n\nI normally just don't say anything. When I first moved in, I would ask if he was okay when he would do this, and he would just say yeah. It is kind of annoying but I don't know what I can do about it.", "summary": "Roommate has random angry outbursts due to watching sports. It bothers me. What can/should I do?"} {"id": "t3_27zdm2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [22F] stay friends with my ex hookup [23M]?", "post": "I started hooking up with this guy a little while ago, a really nice dude that I got along with really well. We had nothing in common at all, but could talk for hours about everything and we have the same goofy-but-mature vibe going on I suppose. We both liked each other but had to keep it light cuz there was a post-graduation expiration date.\n\nHe ended it after a few weeks but we decided to stay friends. We talked about it twice, where he admitted that he thought I liked him more/would expect more from him after we graduated and ended it early because he didn't want to hurt me by not wanting the same thing, and he thought it would be better if we weren't romantically involved \"for now\". But he said that he really wants to keep in touch even though we haven't known each other for that long (about 2 weeks before we started hooking up) because he enjoys talking to me and doesn't feel that way about a lot of people. He said he likes me as a person and cares about what happens to me in the future, and got mad at me when I questioned him, telling me adamantly that I just had to trust that he meant what he said. I know it sounds like he's feeding me lines, but we talked about this for three hours and I really do believe him when he says he cares.\n\nI told him that I wanted to keep in touch too but I didn't know if I could because I still liked him while he obviously had managed to set all of that aside, so he said he would leave it up to me. I really do want to, he's such a great guy, but I know now is not the time for that. But I don't want to cut him out or ignore him and make him feel like the things he said didn't mean anything to me because they do. Is it rude if I wait a few months to contact him? Do I need to tell him that that's what I want to do or can I just drop him a line to say hi later on?", "summary": "Ex-hookup broke off our arrangement out of concern for me, but is keen on staying in touch and remaining friends. I think I need to take some time before this can occur. How do I go about this?"} {"id": "t3_15ni5d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend(23)wants to attempt to renew relationship with terrible father, I (24) cant accept it.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together since my junior year in high school( for a total of 8 years). Her mother passed away due to cancer about 4 years ago. Her mother was what really held her family together and once she passed, everything kind of fell apart. Her father has had multiple DUI's has spent time in prison and is overall verbally abusive (has been physically abusive to her brother and was to her mom sometimes). After his last DUI he moved down to Mexico for a little over a year. Back in August, they got the news he was headed back home and my girlfriend freaked. She was considering getting an apartment on her own, but my family happily took her in and she has been living with me since.\n\nSince then we have found out the reason he is moving back is because her fathers brother was murdered by the Cartel down in Mexico..( sounds insane I know). Her whole family has been curious about his drug use based on how he has acted before( extremely paranoid). I don't know the exact details, but it is believed he was either dealing drugs or helping manufacturer them.\n\nShe originally wanted no contact and nothing to do with him, but every time the year is about to end( when her mother died) she starts to become closed off and changes dramatically. She wants to try to fix things with her father and form some kind of new relationship with him. I strongly disagree with her. I have told her as long as he is alive I will have nothing to do with him. Period. \n\nAm I being unreasonable? I understand her longing for another parental figure in her life, but he drags everything and every one down with him. I unfortunately have given her an ultimatum, him or me. What should I do?", "summary": "Gf wants to try to renew her relationship with her drug dealing, emotionally/physically abusive father, who has since returned from Mexico after his brother was murdered by the cartel."} {"id": "t3_2yufoi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] of near 3 months, i feel its currently a lose-lose situation in terms of", "post": "Ive been with my GF for nearly 3 months and while i as very happy at first i have been debating in my head what to do\n\nI don't feel like we have really advanced at all, i know she if very uncomfortable with any sort of physical contact but she isn't even willing to try any of that sort of stuff and i cant even do anything 'romantic' with her.\n\nThe lack of physical contact is making it really difficult for me and sometimes making me sad but i immediately become happy again after ive seen her in the day, i dont know if i even understand my own emotions.\n\nAnother large problem is that just about every one of my friends in college are also good friends with her so even if i did split from her, i don't know how i could continue to be around my friends as she would be there as well and i don't know how that could make me feel.\n\nI just need some sort of feedback from here, this is a really difficult situation, if i stay i may have a relationship which never evolves, if i leave its possible il have just about no one to talk to in college :(\n\nAlso i still like her so much even regardless of lack of progress and i dont know how i could keep going with her.", "summary": "finding difficulty with girlfriend due to lack of physical contact, if i split i dont know how to be around college friends as she would be there as well, if i stay, maybe il be sadder :("} {"id": "t3_243390", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Help me [23 M] with my 21 [F]..helpme figure out why she is so upset", "post": "My currently long distance girlfriend and I were talking on the phone tonight. She was telling me about the rather large payments owed on her credit card bill (which she does have the money in her account to pay off). \n\nAfter she told me I simply said in a sweet tone of voice \"I'm sorry you have debt sweetie\" to which she very angrily replied \"I don't have any debt\".\n\nQuickly this discussion took on a negative tone, and I escalated the situation by pointing out she had thousands of dollars left to pay on her new Audi as well and asked her why the word debt set her off so much.\n\nLong story short, she ended up telling me that I \"just didn't understand the type of image she was trying to project of herself\" and that \"she takes great pride in managing her finances very well\"\n\nMy whole point throughout the debate (argument whatever we didn't yell or scream or anything) was that I thought she was over reacting, but even if this did upset her I wish she told me that before simply being mean and angry towards me about it.\n\nI should add throughout the argument I did say something to the effect of \"normal people wouldn't get angry at such a small thing\" which really pissed her off (but I believe to be fairly true).\n\nSo reddit, how can I be a better boyfriend to her? On one hand, I feel like I am constantly trying to be sweet, fulfill her requests (she likes to talk every night before bed), and generally be there for her. On the other hand, she pretty much hates me over this sort of thing and threatened to leave me again tonight.\n\nI love her with all my heart. Am I in the wrong?", "summary": "Pissed GF off by using the word debt. Not sure if she is being too prideful, or if I am just ignorant."} {"id": "t3_3vdgvg", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by using Siri [Possibly NSFW]", "post": "So about two hours ago I dropped my iphone and the screen fell right on off (this is an iphone 5, so the screen and touch sensor are one discrete unit. There no interface between me and the phone besides physical buttons) Its pretty old and I'm due for an upgrade so its not a big deal. While still in my lab, I discovered that I could still do all the vital iphone-y functions. I could call, text, listen to music, etc. all by using Siri. I go home in a few days for the holidays so I figured I could wait to replace what amounts to a portable landline without caller ID with a new phone. I got home, showed my room mate the damage and we had a laugh. He also helped me investigate further the limitations on phone function. About five minutes ago, he came back to the room with his girlfriend. I went into his room to show her. As I was explaining the accident and all the funny things I have to do now (like announce in public what music i'm listening to), I got a text from someone, which turned out to be *my* girlfriend. The room mate's GF asked me how I would read/listen to this text without using imessage on my laptop. I excitedly told her exactly how: \n\n\"Siri; what did the text I just got say?\"\n\n\"At 10:52\" you got a text from [girlfriend]. It says *(get ready for it)* 'When I thought my IUD came out?'\"\n\nThat's right, folks. My room mate and his girlfriend learned about an event in my GF's life that she would probably share with no one besides her OBGYN and maybe whatever god/giant chicken runs this universe while she stands trial attempting to pass through the pearly gates. \n\nInterestingly, my room mate knew what an IUD was whereas his GF did not. And people want to defund planned parenthood.", "summary": "broke my phone today, used Siri to get around it, and she revealed that one time my GF thought her IUD fell out of her."} {"id": "t3_17kbed", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [17/M] have been texting a girl [17/F] for months.", "post": "I've been texting this girl I'm into for about 4 months, almost daily, and this past month we've really been texting a lot. But the thing is we don't see each other very often, we both have very busy schedules and go to different schools. So I've only seen her about once a month when hanging out with friends (we have a ton of mutual friends). Most recently we went ice skating with some friends, but she didn't really seem that into me (friendzoned I had thought). But last night at work one of her really good friends told me that she likes me but thinks I don't like her. So we both like each other but don't know the other person does. I'm planning on hanging out with her this weekend, just her and I. My friend thinks its a good idea that we get to know each other better in person before dating, so I'm not sure if we should just hang out or if I should go in for a move. Oh and I've never had a girlfriend and I don't think she's ever had a boyfriend, and we both are really awkward around each other. So what do you think, just go out to a movie and grab a bite afterwards, or one step farther? Also, should I pick her up or meet her there?", "summary": "just get to know each other, or try to make a move (which I have no experience with at all (HELP))"} {"id": "t3_36agwz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24F] Family [27 - 74] does not care about my College graduation, I am hurt. Don't know what to do", "post": "So I just graduated from college, I was the only one in my entire family to do so. I have been on my own since I graduated high school and never asked anyone to support me. I always had jobs during school so I never had to ask for anything, and I always made trips back home for major holidays.\n\nAnyway- I invited my whole family to come to my graduation, moms side and dads side. My moms side I know better because I lived in the same state as them. My dads family I hardly know, but I invited them as well. I got cards from them which was nice and I greatly appreciate them even doing anything since most of them never met me.\n\nAnyway- I sent everyone on my moms side cards and invitations (These are the people I grew up with and knew as my family my whole life) \n\nWell My aunt has been in a huge fight with my mom for the past two years, which has caused a lot of drama between my mom and her along with other members of the family. \n\nAnyway - I sent out invitations to everyone and the only people who came to my graduation was my mom and dad. I didn't even get a card or a congratulations from anyone from my moms family. It really hurts and I feel like the main reason is because of this fight between my mom and her sister.\n\nI don't know what to do, I feel like my entire family just blew me off- not caring about something that was so important to me. \n\nI even called my grandmother and expressed I was upset she didn't come to my graduation and she just shrugged it off like it didn't matter and cut the phone call short.\n\nI dunno I just need advice I guess? \n\nAnd yes - everyone had received the invitations, it wasn't a situation that it got lost in the mail or anything.", "summary": "I invited my entire family to my graduation and only my mom and dad showed up, everyone received invitations and cards but I never got a phone call or even a congratulations from anyone. "} {"id": "t3_e2t8w", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Another Person, with another problem.", "post": "I'm a nineteen year old male, and I hate my mother with a burning passion. My parents split up when I was four years old, and very clearly for nothing more than my convenience, got back together when I was nine. One month before my nineteenth birthday they split again, because I'm for the most part self sustaining now. On my birthday (remember this is only one month after my parents' split), My mother blew off our dinner plans to hang out with her new boy friend. As a direct result of this, I'm extremely enraged, and haven't spoken a word to her in three months. I have hated her for nearly ten years, but tolerated her personality only because I lived under her roof. Everybody in my life is slowly beginning to push me away from them, because they want me to talk to my mother and I refuse. What should I do?", "summary": "I finally severed my relationship with my long hated mother, the closest people to me are distancing themselves from me because of it, what should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2wpm9n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22/f] college graduate, feeling lost, lonely and isolated. Ready to move 12 hour from home. Advice and help needed!", "post": "Graduated college in December 2014 with a degree in a good major. I [22/f] left college with zero friends because of a bad relationship and everyone siding with my ex partner [21/f, cheated on me when drunk]. She was the love of my life and I feel completely broken after everything that happened. We dated for 3 years. \n\nAll my friends from home have moved on and found employment in other places. I don't have much family where I'm from originally either, but I love the area. It just holds bad memories from bullying in high school. I was overweight in high school coupled with being smart, so I was a target for bullies. I lost the weight before college and had a great time up until my ex partner cheated on me and all my friends sided with her.\n\nI was thinking about moving down South, 12 hours away from me right now. I'm very lonely and lost where I am now. I don't have very many friends here, and I feel scared but ready to move on. It feels like I'm going through the motions every day. Does anyone have any advice for me?", "summary": "22/f college graduate, looking to move down South after a bad breakup. Left college with very few friends, no family in area where I am now, feeling very lost and isolated. Advice appreciated. "} {"id": "t3_332ahl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [17 M] with has no interest in a relation ship with a girl [17 F], but insists that having sex with her under that pretense is fine because she wants it.", "post": "So my friend was drunk when he received texts from a girl currently out of the country. She professed a deep love for him out of the blue and says how she wants to be with him forever, etc, etc... My friend being drunk said some things he didn't mean, and woke up the next morning regretting what he said. But then the girl started texting him booty-pics, and telling him how badly she wants to fuck, etc, etc... This was all pretty much unprompted by him.\n\nNow my buddy is fully aware that this girl is acting crazy, but has told me he plans to have sex with her because she wants it so badly, and then just \"see what happens\". He has absolutely *no* interest in a relationship with her, which is what she clearly wants.\n\nI've told him that what he is planning is definitely a little rapey, and that he shouldn't do it, but he insists that it is fine because she wants to have sex so badly (Which is true-- but under false pretenses).\n\nI told him that he should come out with the truth and admit he was drunk, and tell her that he isn't looking for a relationship but is willing to have some fun. Currently waiting for a reply from him.\n\nI'm doing my best to stop this whole thing from happening, but in the meantime, what do you think of the situation?", "summary": "Friend lead someone on while drunk and felt bad about it, but plans to have sex with the girl anyway under false pretenses of a relationship."} {"id": "t3_3jwky8", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I still have feelings for my coworker, what should I do?", "post": "We used to go out years ago while working, broke up, we managed to stay friend after a rough patch and everything was swell since. \n\nWe always had some feelings left for each other even after all that time, especially when we were such close friends throughout.\n\nThe fire was kept at low heat and had increased lately on my side, she's not reciprocating at my level and it's making things really hard for me. \n\nLately while I was on a trip she got a number from the other coworker that replaced me for that time so they can communicate if one gets sick or late. \n\nIt threw me on such a jealousy spiral!\nI always saw myself as a very stable guy with minimal mood swings but this sent me on a loop affecting every aspect of my life, feels like it's numbing me, crippling! \n\nShe said she hasn't been talking to him about private stuff and that it's only been done on the work phone but still the thought of it driving me nuts, the guy is someone I helped/help a lot and she's been my friend for so long, I told her that if they do talk she should let me know because I'd like to back away from any connection with them.", "summary": "She's not interested in me, even with some feelings for me, I am interested in her more than her, it drives me nuts and I work with her. What should I do? "} {"id": "t3_4n1m9a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[24M]/[22M]. I've been with my boyfriend for ten years, but feel as though we've grown into very different people. Should I feel guilty for financially supporting him? How can I help him become more independent?", "post": "As the title suggests, we've been together for a very long time. We met when we were kids and have been together ever since, and the love is still there: he makes me very happy, and I can't imagine life without him.\n\nUnfortunately, we've taken somewhat different paths in life. I started working when I was 17, and I've now graduated college and gotten a decent paying \"real job\". He left college after his first year and hasn't really been doing much else since then, except for hobbies and a brief stint as a cook. \n\nI pay for essentially everything: rent, bills, food, entertainment, etc, and while I'm totally okay with that, I feel like I'm doing him a disservice. He helps around the house, and I love being able to come home from work to spend time with him, but I worry that by supporting him like this I'm impeding his growth as a person. \n\nI want to encourage him to start hitting milestones, be it by entering the workforce or going back to school, but I don't want to be his parent, and I don't want to endlessly nag him... I'm just not sure he has the drive to do it on his own.", "summary": "I financially support my loving but unambitious boyfriend, and feel guilty about it. I want him to start becoming a more independent person for his own good, but don't know how to go about it."} {"id": "t3_vqyk2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I've upset a friend and my \"genius\" apology plan has failed. Now what?", "post": "Not too long ago, I decided to take a risk and tell my friend my true feelings for him and that I also think he's \"attractive\". I meant it as in \"handsome\", but it came across as sexually attractive. Anyway, he's very angry with me and thinks my confession was \"stupid\". I attempted to talk to him today, as it's the day before his birthday and the last day I'll see him in months. This attempted ended in him walking off, me crying and some girl attemoting to cheer me up. Utter failure.\n\nYesterday, it was my plan to make him some Portal themed cupcakes and write him a letter to say sorry and happy birthday. There were no eggs and I had no time to write him the letter. I managed to scrawl \"Sorry, happy birthday\" onto a piece of paper while walking.\n\nI feel terrible and I don't want to lose my friend. I am going through some hard times and I have a few family and financial issues. The only things that make me happy are my two best friends. Losing one of them will be really upsetting. How can I save our friendship?", "summary": "Called my best friend \"attractive\", my apology didn't work and now I won't see him for months. What shall I do?"} {"id": "t3_3sc7v4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [30ish M] seriously turned off by my wife [30ish F] after some rough patches over the last few years", "post": "We've been together about 10 years, married about 5. She's always been overweight (BMI 30+) and while I wasn't enthused about that it was never a huge problem for me (no pun intended) since I really enjoyed my time with her. I was very thin when we met (BMI of around 19.5) and have since filled out to a much better BMI of 22.\n\nOver the past 3-4 years we've had a whole slew of problems that have lead to me resenting her for many things. During all this I started to improve myself and focus on eating healthy and working out. During this time I encouraged her to join me as I was concerned about seeing my wife get sick and immobile like her parents as she ages due to the obesity.\n\nShe lost a lot of weight during these times (got down to 29 BMI, so only rated overweight) mostly due to stress, and she gained half of it back after the stressful situation no longer consumed her. I'm still trying to get her into eating healthy (since that's 80% of weight loss) and she clearly can't handle it, eating entire packages of cookies in one sitting, getting ice cream or some other sweets every few days, eating half a pizza in one sitting. To be fair I do those things sometimes too, but very infrequently and I watch my weight and I never gain more than 5 lbs.\n\nEver since we've experienced the problems that caused resentment I am fully grossed out by her weight. If she wears a skirt I almost cringe when I see her tree trunk legs with all the fat dimples in them. When we have sex I get super grossed out by her gut. This used to not be a problem, but ever since we had all those issues I can't seem to look past her weight issues. I used to think of her and smile and now I think of her and get grossed out.\n\nIs there any way to get back to those old feelings without her losing weight, because I just don't see that happening.", "summary": "Turned off by wife's weight after several years of of issues, when it used to not bother me. How can I overcome this?"} {"id": "t3_398yp0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [32 M] with my son [8M], my son's friend [8M], son's friend's mom [30ish F], and school administrator [50ish F].", "post": "Hello Reddit! I need help dealing with my son's school system, which seems to have become a little irrational with its \"zero strike\" policy.\n\nMy son, Max [8M], was at school the other day and there's a new student named Sam [8M]. Apparently a bunch of kids were all around talking and getting to know each other and making jokes, and my son told Sam: \"You're a homo... a homo *sapien*!\". Or something like that. Just a clever little quip that the \"gang\" all says to each other.\n\nApparently Sam went home crying and now the school has suspended my son for two days. I think this is absolutely ridiculous, as Max is a good kid and he was just trying to help Sam join the group by making a joke the same way Max and his friends make jokes with each other. I don't want this to go on my son's record, and I'm thinking about getting my lawyer involved. This whole thing has been hugely detrimental for Max's self esteem, who has been having a hard time anyways because his mother has been working abroad for a few weeks. I don't want to stress him out, which would negatively impact his schoolwork.\n\nThe administrator says that the school has a \"zero tolerance policy\" towards bigotry, and Sam's mother says that Sam has been throwing up every morning before school because he doesn't want to get picked on.\n\nReddit, what should my next step be?", "summary": "Misunderstanding between a couple of boys at school, now the school system is punishing my son. My son's schoolwork is important and I don't want him distracted with beaurocratic politics. Help!"} {"id": "t3_3yt6ub", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] with my Boss/Friend [41M], offered a new higher paying position with a new company and can't figure out how to give my notice.", "post": "*Insert mandatory comment about how this is my first time posting on reddit and will keep it short*\n\nAs a small backstory, earlier this year, I was extremely unhappy with my job at the time (verbal abuse, other bad things) and had started making efforts to find new employment. This triggered my friend (as mentioned in title, who is currently my boss) to tell me that his job was hiring, and strongly encouraged me to apply. We had be friends for a little over a year, and I trusted his opinion, applied and got hired! This was great, or so I thought. Fast forward to now, working with friend/boss is completely miserable. He constantly talks down to me, belittles my intelligence (we work for an auto parts distributor, and i'm an avid car enthusiast, so I know my stuff), and also has crossed a couple lines for friendship and work relationship (buying flowers, offering to take me to dinner and such). It also does not help that this company is rather stingy and frugal with their workers, and I work much harder than what I get paid for. \n\nNow we get to the fun part. There was a time when the main company had threatened to close our branch, effectively letting go all of our employees, myself included. During this time, I had placed applications in numerous different job fields, hoping anything would come back. I went on a few interviews, and JUST YESTERDAY heard back from one that I had gotten the job. Since the interview process, my current job has returned to being stable, aside from the uncomfortable-ness from working with my boss. My effective start date is January 25, 2016 and I'm not sure how to bring this up without hurting my friendship.", "summary": "Boss is crossing lines / being verbally abusive at work, causing me to seek another job. He is also my friend, how do I give my notice of resignation without hurting friendship?"} {"id": "t3_1udagy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [17 M] breakup with my girlfriend [15 F] of 13 months, because she simply adds no value to my life anymore?", "post": "Thirteen months ago I met this girl and we became sort of a ~~no~~^few- strings-attached sort of deal, we'd spend a lot of time together and act like we were in a relationship while we technically could still talk to other people.\n\nAfter a few months she got tired of that and refused to continue unless we officially became an item. I accepted, knowing it wasn't what I wanted. I'd just gotten out of a series of three, year-long^(approx.) relationships when we met and I wanted a break to just date lots of girls without committing to anything. \n\nI agreed to make it official with this girl because I do like her and partly because I was afraid I'd never find anything better.\n\nNow it's been a year since we started acting like a couple and 4 months since we've actually been a couple and I am unhappy, but can't decide if it's just 'the grass is greener on the other side' syndrome. \n\nShe hasn't done anything to warrant a breakup, but I am tired of being tied down, and want to use these years while I'm just a kid to have fun and date lots of different girls. On the other hand, I may very well regret leaving her since we are quite compatible with each other.\n\nAlso note I literally have no friends. I'm good with girls I know, but not good at approaching them or meeting new ones.", "summary": "Tired of being tied down in long relationships for last 3 years, girlfriend adds no particular value to life, but I'll be completely alone and might not find anything better if we breakup. Should I breakup?"} {"id": "t3_1rkk52", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "GF [21/F] ended up cuddling and kissing her ex. I [22/M] feel like it may have been too large of a line to cross and go back.", "post": "For some back-story my girlfriend and I met about 3 months ago on the OKCupid dating website. Things progressed extremely quickly from that point on due to just how much we have in common and aligned life goals.\n\nSo last night, she dropped a bombshell on me. Her story is as follows:\n\nShe went to her ex's house between classes to rejuvenate a bit. (I actually don't mind her hanging out with her ex, I feel like they interact appropriately.) After a few minutes of sitting on the couch together she gets a cuddly and he gets a bit more flirtatious than usual. A few minutes pass and she \"May have accidentally kissed him. Just a peck though\"\n\nAt this point, I start asking questions because, I had a hunch that I was only getting the partial truth. After 15 minutes of some very simple questions her story changed quite a bit (and this is actually what has me the most angry). Instead of accidental kiss, it was on purpose and affectionate. She is still unclear on the duration of this. Instead of being a little affectionate and flirty, her ex was clearly crossing boundaries.\n\nAt this point, I decided to leave so I can have some time and think to myself. I thought that maybe some sleep would clear me up and give me more clarity.\n\nBefore I left, my girlfriend was sobbing, begging me not to leave. She was telling me how sorry she was and so on and so forth. The remorse does indeed seem genuine.\n\nAfter my night of sleep, I am still not clear headed on this issue.\n\nDid she go too far?\nIs she still telling partial truths?\nIs this something we could work through (given that it never happens again)?\nI did tell her in the beginning that this sort of thing is a relationship ender, should I go back on my word on this?", "summary": "GF kissed her ex boyfriend, told me half of the truth, and is begging me not to leave her. I feel like we may not be able to recover from this (due to my resident feelings more than anything)."} {"id": "t3_2dl7c2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] have lied to my girlfriend [19 F] of two years about going to the gentlemens club once", "post": "I went to a Genteens club with a few friends during university. I never told my girlfriend of two years I went. She had to find out from someone else. I know what I did is wrong and horrible. I don't deserve her. She has begun to loose my trust. \n\nI love her and I made a terrible mistake. She loves me we want to spend the rest of our lives together even though we are barely 19. I have done nothing else. I just want to know if there's anyway things can change. If I can do something to make her trust me again. I just want a place to vent or if anyone has similar stories. Love is a hard thing.", "summary": "went to a Gentlemens club, girlfriend found out from someone else. Any advice on trust or anything at all really."} {"id": "t3_2dhnq6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [18/M] and I [17/F] have realised we are both controlling and want to sort it out to save the relationship.", "post": "So to begin with, we have been in a relationship for almost a year. Before this, we were close friends through highschool for about four years and have always had a thing for eachother. We began our relationship last year when he left school, and I'm still finishing. \n\nSo, at the start of our relationship, we knew and established we are both very jealous people. In previous relationships, we felt really jealous of our respective partners, and often came to comfort of eachother to vent. We are both aware, too, of our past's, which arn't really full of clean track records (we've both been unfaithful to some extent in previous relationships, however, not that serious and we were both like 14). \n\nThis isnt to say that this effects us now, we have both moved past that - but, it has left us both quite controlling. And at the start, it worked. If I was uncomfortable with something, he wouldn't do it. If he was uncomfortable with something, I wouldn't do it. But it's gotten to the point now where we feel like we are missing out on things. And we both WANT to change, I cannot stress that enough. This isn't a post asking for reasons to end it, I just really need advice for both of us to sort out our feelings and what steps we can take to learn from this and move on.", "summary": "Boyfriend and I have identified we are both controlling; want some strategies we can put in place to control our feelings before they are out of hand."} {"id": "t3_2tzmwe", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "What are the benefits of paying off debt collectors?", "post": "I have a poor credit score rating for a few reasons:\n+I'm 24. Fresh out of college with about $25,000 in federal loans. I am slowly paying those down. \n+I have been late on car payments (but hey it's almost paid off!) \n+I have unpaid debt from a credit card I opened and used only for a gym membership. It racked up $500, I lost my job. I moved. I graduated. I never paid it. \n\nI have received calls and attempted to pay off the debt previously. I did not feel comfortable giving my account # over the phone to someone, so I gave up because I could never afford a lump sum pay off. \n\nI have basically ignored this but I'm ready to face the music if it will benefit me more than my tax money paying off other debt (i.e. Loans, car, small personal debt) with my refund - pretty much the only time I have a large sum of money. \n\nPortfolio Recovery is offering:\n1 payment of $454.00 \nor a 12mo $40/mo plan. Says my account will be considered \"settled in full\" \n\nAny advice?", "summary": "I have a poor credit score because of unpaid debt. Should I pay it or keep ignoring it to pay off more \"immediate\" debts this tax season?"} {"id": "t3_vgd0t", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Selling house, buyer will most likely renege...need advice", "post": "My parents are trying to sell their house, and found a buyer approximately two months back. The house sold for $1.2 mil to a middle eastern family. The man is a home developer, and he supposedly bought our house because his wife wants to live in it with their family. \n\nThe man agreed to all terms, and told us to please move out of the house in a week. We complied, and got a year lease on a townhouse nearby while we look for another, smaller house. We shut off the water, canceled the pool man, shut off power, and canceled insurance. Two months later, the man still has not paid us any money, and keeps pushing back the payment date for the $30K deposit, and the main cash payment on the house.\n\nMy parents are a nervous wreck. This is a lot of money. We are worried about the house being broken into, because it is abandoned. I have been told that any damage will be on us, because no money has exchanged hands. We are afraid that the buyer might renege completely, and we do not have a backup buyer because we were assured the transaction would go smoothly. We now think he is jacking with us, and we may continue to have to pay the mortgage while waiting for this guy to get his shit together and pay up.\n\nWhat are our options besides lawyering up? How much money are we entitled to? Do we only get the $30K deposit? Please let me know what the rules are with this.", "summary": "Sold our house, buyer keeps pushing date back on payment and we think he will renege completely, we have not been paid anything and are losing a lot of money."} {"id": "t3_2k7ito", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Far away from my girlfriend and having innocent feelings for another. Its making me feel guilty and anxious.", "post": "So I (M 23) need some advice. I have an amazing girlfriend (F 22) who has an amazing job. We have been dating for a little over a year now. Shes extremely smart, caring, and generous. Shes the first girlfriend whos ever gonw out of her way to do things for me. And I know thats normal for relationships but after being a rescuer for so long, shes the first one who's done anything for me. Shes extremely supportive and I could go on. The bottom line is if I do something to lose her I would be one of the most stupid men alive. \n\nSo right now were far apart while im taking an intense course and I have no time to see her. I am one of two people taking this course seriously and that other person is a girl (F 24). I dont get along with pretty much anyone else because I dont go out with them every weekend. I love my girlfriend and no matter what nothing will ever happen. BUT. I have such a close connection with this girl. I always want to be around her and I want her to want to be around me. I hate seeing her unhappy so im always worried about her and its even affecting my ability to focus.\n\nThese feelings confuse me because I know I would never cheat on my girlfriend 100% but I still feel guilty and Shitty and unfaithful. Ive always been touchy feely and always want someone to lean against when we watch a movie together but in all seriousness it has no sexual underlying reasons. Without sounding shallow I dont even really find this girl attractive.... She's the only one who's taken the time to get to know me and this constant distraction is absolutely killing me. \n\nAm I a shitty boyfriend for wanting comfort while im so far away assuming there are LITERALLY no underlying sexual elements? If so how do I stop it, or a more appropriate question is what are some methods you suggest to help me move in the right direction for stopping it. Ill never cheat on her I know that I just feel so pathetic right now. Can anyone give me some advice?", "summary": "Away from amazing girlfriend for a while and feel the need for comfort from another girl with NO UNDERLYING SEXUAL DESIRE!"} {"id": "t3_kh690", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I need your opinion!", "post": "So I was with my best friend the other day (I'm a guy) and we were talking about random things. Then for some reason, she literally told me that she thought she was a whore because she had multiple fuck friends. Obviously I was a bit shocked because I didn't think she thought of herself like that, but after maybe 2 seconds of disbelief, I told her that she wasn't. She 18 and.. well she has done some pretty outrageous stuff : to this day she has slept with 16 guys, 2-3 girls, she did two threesome and that's about it. Because of that she thinks she's a whore... I told her she wasn't, that she was just having fun and that it was totally fine but obviously it didn't really work, she still thought of herself badly. I'm a bit confused because I never EVER thought she was a whore, slut, skank or whatever. In my head, I believe that if I had has much success with girls, has she has success with guys, I would probably be dying from HIV because I would've slept with every girl I could and because I would've slept with so many girls I would probably be a hero among my friends. So why are people judging her because she likes to have sex? Why is it bad for her to have fun sexually speaking but not for me? Why is a girl who likes sex has much has the average guy being labelled as a whore? Am I the only one who thinks like that? Am I the only one who thinks society is fuck up to think this way? \n\nSo tell me reddit, what do you think about that? Feel free to speak your mind freely even if you're saying that she's really a \"slut\" I just want to get a general idea on what you guys think.", "summary": "Friend (girl) who's 18 slept with 16 guys up until now, thinks she's a whore. What do you think?"} {"id": "t3_3n7ttk", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Have a crush and want to take it the next level. How should I proceed?", "post": "OK so I like this girl (She is a junior and I'm a sophomore in highschool) and she was dating this guy I was friends with when I first met her. They broke up about 2 weeks ago and my friend keeps saying that he is over her. I'm not gonna lie this girl is a little bit out of my league but I really think she likes me because one day last week we were talking in the hallway and she randomly asked to see my hand, she then proceeded to write her number on my hand. I had never previously asked her for it so I found it a bit weird, once again I'm not gonna lie I'm not exactly a Laddies' man. Fast forward about a week nothing has happened other than talking to each other in the hall and texting daily. Homecoming is coming up on a couple of weeks and of course with my luck it is girls ask guys. I thought to myself, \"Screw it, I'm just gonna ask her.\" This was yesterday, of course some other asshole asked her that morning. (I don't see her until lunch.) This guy is one of her ex's from last year and she said she might give him another chance. This guy has a little bit of an advantage over me because he is also a junior, taller, plays guitar, and has a sweet beard. I was texting her last night and asked her if she was with that dude and she said no, but I'm thinking about it. I replied, \"I'm going to warn you, and I speak from personal experience, the relationship ended the first time for a reason.\" She then texted back, \"You're right.\" The best I could think to say was, \"You do you, but consider this fair warning.\" No response. I'm really stumped here and honestly have no idea what to do next.", "summary": "I like a girl and was gonna ask her to homecoming but her ex did first and doesn't know if she is gonna take him back."} {"id": "t3_n8e1i", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Parents: Why do you pay for pictures of your kids screaming on Santa's lap?", "post": "This is probably my mom talking (my mom is a horrible person, that's why I bring it up), but I just think it's a waste of money. If I had kids of my own, I would not want to hang up pictures of them screaming their head off while the poor mall Santa just has to sit there and endure it until the picture is over. I would also not want to send these to people or plaster them up online for all to see and be forced to look at in their newsfeed. Hell, if my child was crying during the hand off to Santa, there would be no Santa that year, as they are clearly not ready to sit in a stranger's lap. Plus, I don't want to subject other mall goers to my kid screaming their head off if I don't have to.\n\nSo anyway, I see people posting these on Facebook, and they say they paid for them. WHY? It's like, $20, and I just see it as $20 that could be spent better elsewhere, I guess. Here's another question: do you think anyone wants to see a photo of your child in obvious distress? I am not asking that as a rhetorical question laden with snark and attitude, but as an honest question I'd really like to hear the answer to. I know I don't want to see pictures of other people's babies screaming; I want to see nice pictures from when they are smiling or having a good time. \n\nYes, I know babies cry, I'm just saying I don't want to see it, whether in person or by proxy in a photograph. It makes me think of the sound, and the sound of crying babies pisses me off to no end.", "summary": "Why do you allow and pay for photos of your child to be taken with Santa while they are screaming their heads off?"} {"id": "t3_2g95m5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20/M] Wanna improve my chance on dating, what can I do to improve?", "post": "Hello /r/relationships\n\nLet me start off by letting you guys and girls know that I had less than 5 relationship, my last being the longest (around 1 year and 4 months). \n\nI am the typical shy, friendly, nervous, and genuinely a nice guy, that gets Friend-Zone A LOT. I tried to improve, but have little luck on it, even from friends advice. Most of them said I don't have a good pick up skills, which I probably agree on. It sucks since I lost quite a few chances with women I am interested in, around town or at college. \n\nOne of my friends suggest me to watch movies, and some say to read articles/books, but don't have any suggestions, since most of them are good at it naturally and couldn't give me any pointers in my situations. \n\nWhat does /r/relationships recommend me to do? I wanna improve my chances. From talking to the girl, breaking the ice, improve my chances on getting dates, etc.", "summary": "Need help with my dating skills, talking to women, getting succesful date, pick up skill. Don't wanna keep ending up in the Friend-Zone. How can I improve in this area and not get friend zone?"} {"id": "t3_smyxa", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I don't know if I even like my own boyfriend?", "post": "Hello fellow redditors, I'm in a pickle and I need your advice. My bf (19M) and I (18F) have been dating for about 2 and a half months now. Before we were dating we had a group of friends we would all hang out with and that's how we started going out. With this group of friends we would literally hang out 4-5 times a week, and we'd have a lot of fun. After my bf and I started dating, some of our other friends from our group started dating as well. Needless to say we started slowing down on our group hang-outs. \n\nAnyway, my bf and I had a lot of fun in the beginning of our relationship, I'd go to his house just about every weekend and we'd watch a movie and then make out on the couch all night. That was all fun and games until his mom walked in on us in his room going at it. We sort of stopped hanging out at his house. \n\nNow, in the beginning of our relationship, we both acquired jobs at the same time. We used to hang out during the week maybe once or twice but now that our jobs are interfering, we just have no time to hang out anymore. Our hangouts occur maybe once a week and consist of he and I going out for dinner at 9:00 PM after I get off work, and then if we get lucky and his mom isn't home, we go to his house and hang out there or have sex. Granted, we've only had sex once and we were both black-out drunk.\n\nHe took my virginity, so I feel like this relationship should last and I should keep trying, but we don't see each other anymore! We haven't had a conversation in person in over a month. I only saw him this weekend with our group of friends for a couple of hours. Reddit, what should I do? I don't even know if I'm into him anymore.", "summary": "My bf and I don't see each other a lot and I haven't had a good convo with him in over a month."} {"id": "t3_y3u8a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[M26] how to express feelings to a friend?", "post": "Hey Reddit, Ive got a questions about the best way to express feelings to a good friend of mine. \n\nBasically my friend [F26] is recently single, Ive known her for four years and realized I had feelings for her about 6 months ago. I haven't expressed much interest as she has been with someone and I wanted to respect that. Now that shes single I would like to at least let her know that I have some feelings for her (I missed my chance before she began dating her latest BF). I may loose her as a friend but if I dont tell her I feel that Ill regret it. \n\nI'm not a shy person, and I'm not socially awkward, I just have trouble letting my feelings known (its caused some regret in the past). So my question is this, for those that have been in this situation before how do you recommend doing it?", "summary": "Any recommendations on me [M26] letting my single friend [F26] of four years know I have some feelings for her?"} {"id": "t3_4ac9os", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20F] am fighting with my boyfriend[22M] over my friends opinion of him and advice on our relationship and dont know whether they have valid points or are being mean", "post": "Throwaway account because my boyfriend knows my account name and I would rather not have another arguement.\n\nMy girlfriends have recently spoken to me about my boyfriend. They think he hasnt matured beyond High School where we first started dating. They think I should leave him and date this weird builder my girlfriend is good friends with. \n\nThey pointed out that he is 22 and still on any given day hes not at Uni can be found in his room at this shared house with all his mates, either jamming on instruments (Boyfriends a bassist), playing videogames, drinking beer and eating pizza, skating in the empty pool out back, listening to 90s pop punk, going to concerts and getting up to mischief. An example being the ramp bolted onto the guttering and wall so they can drop into the pool from the roof. (Theres a friend whos a tradesman who lives there). \n\nThey also pointed out his sense of dress is embarassing to them and they dread him coming to a bar. One described it as \"Blink 182 chic\". Baggy knee length Dickies, Hurley and Atticus shirts and a backwards snapback with vans to cap it off usually. I dont personally see anything wrong with this to be honest\n\nTo make it all worse my boyfriend found out about all this through one of the girls telling her boyfriend who lives with my guy and honouring his friendship told him, so hes very upset and angry. I just dont know whos side to take?! Is he immature and weird? Does he dress weird?! Is he right to be upset?! I just dont know what to do but having one of his friends tell me that in the 15 years hes known my guy this is the first thing hes seen him cry over is breaking my heart. HELP!", "summary": "Friends say boyfriend is an immature 90's styled kid and want me to leave him. Boyfriend is visibly upset and doesnt know what he did wrong"} {"id": "t3_q3sct", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Should I file for bankruptcy?", "post": "A little backstory...\n\nI've been suffering from worsening depression since I was about sixteen, thanks to heredity and a pretty shitty childhood. Things weren't so bad life wise for a while (had a great credit score, bought a car at 0% APR, started school) but in the last two years things have really taken a dive.\n\nI've racked up $10,000 in credit card debt from school and medical costs (uninsured going on four years). I totaled my car in May 2011 and bought a used car for ~$10,000 @ 12% interest a few months later. My depression and path to treatment sent me in such a bad spiral that I couldn't so much as leave the house for close to two months, causing me to miss my finals and fail a semester after being an A/B student up to my senior year.\n\nIn November 2011 had planned on not really living past January so I let everything go financially. I've since found a will to live, but now I'm stuck in a situation where I have debt collectors after me from lack of payment.\n\nThe situation as of now is I'm 27, taking a semester off college, working as much as I can as a server at a corporate restaurant while living at home. I have a $10,000 credit card in collections and they're asking for full payment. On top of that I still have my living expenses, my car payment, insurance, phone.\n\nI feel stuck and I don't know what I can do. I've considered debt consolitation but I'm afraid it could just be a scam and cause me to go further under. My other thought is filing bankruptcy but I don't know what would entail, what I'd lose, and how long it'd take me to get on solid footing. Credit, medical and educational debt have kept me stuck living with my parents since I moved back when I was 20. \n\nDoes anyone have experience with bankruptcy or debt consolidation? I don't know where else to turn.", "summary": "I'm 27, in collections for over $10,000 while still trying to finish out a BA in political science. What options can I take to get on the right path?"} {"id": "t3_12g4b1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what are some of your experiences on the road that make you so mad that you question driver's thoughts?", "post": "Firstly let me say, I haven't been driving for long, which also implies that I was following the speed limit.\nSecondly, this doesn't necessarily mean ONLY road rage moments. Could be stupidity, too.\nI was driving down a road with a lot of speed bumps and stop signs. It was Halloween night, so I was being a bit more cautious than usual. Some d*** head got impatient and passed me over the double yellow line, in a residential area. He then cut back into the appropriate lane so early that I had to skid in my MOM'S car to avoid being side swiped and permanently grounded. Believe me, I honked. I was mad, but I still drove the speed limit home. Skip a few moments. . . I got to the point where I passed where he was going about 4.5 seconds later, still going the speed limit. Was it worth it, driver?", "summary": "Some guy illegally passed me and cut across so fast I had to skid. Turns out I passed the same place 4.5 seconds after him."} {"id": "t3_z1a39", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Emergency management and first responders of Reddit. What are your craziest / most interesting stories?", "post": "**Background:** I'm typing this from a state Emergency Operations Center as we deal with Hurricane Isaac. I am an Emergency Telecommunicator, and this is my first hurricane working on the state level. Before this job, I was a SKYWARN storm spotter, and an Amateur Radio Emergency Services volunteer for a county EOC. I've been involved in EMA work of some kind for about six years, total.\n\n**Storytime:** Mostly, I would sit with shelters and do shelter reports, or I'd be doing radio communications relays - passing communication traffic from one station to another. During Hurricane Gustav, I was babysitting a shelter on the north end of the county I'm from. It was a special needs shelter, so we had all sorts of folks with mental health issues and health issues. \n\nI was sitting around on the worst night of storm activity. It was about 3am. I'm minding my own business, and a homeless individual came stumbling through the hallways, screaming, \"WE'RE GONNA DIE, WE'RE GONNA DIE, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIEEE! LORD JESUS MARY HOSANNAH IT'S THE SECOND COMIN ' AND WE'RE GONNA GO UP AND SEEEEE JESUS!\" at the top of his lungs. Then he sang, \"Swing Low, Sweet Chariot,\" over and over, but didn't know any of the words. Meanwhile, the roof of the shelter was rippling and bouncing above us, and you could hear the wind howling through the building. \n\nStuff of nightmares.", "summary": "Volunteering as a communicator at a shelter. Homeless guy runs around screaming and singing about the second coming at 3am during Gustav."} {"id": "t3_1o6dx8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My mother [50] blames me [M19] for being assaulted", "post": "3 years back, when I was out drinking with some friends in a park, a large group of teenagers came over and, without provocation, started being physically aggressive. One of them pushed me over, and I landed on my arm and broke it.\n\nTo this day, I still have limited mobility in my arm. This is a source of upset for me, because nobody wants to feel disabled, especially at such a young age.\n\nAnyway, my mother has never been particularly sympathetic about it all, partly because she does not drink alcohol and is pretty judgemental of those who do.\n\nI fractured a metatarsal (my foot) last week on a night out, and I was talking to her on the phone about it today. I said that I hoped there was nothing long-term in the injury, to which she said in this upbeat, mockingly righteous voice: 'well, you'll have to be more careful in the future'. 'You know that the common denominator is alcohol'. This got me annoyed, and I said 'I was assaulted the first time, it wasn't just an accident'. She replied 'well, if you hadn't been drunk, maybe you'd have caught yourself better'.\n\nI told her that she was really out of line, and that I was sensitive about this, expressing my annoyance. She responded by saying I was 'probably just tired'. I mean, I know this is an extreme comparison, but would you expect the mother of a rape victim to suggest that if they hadn't been drunk, it wouldn't have happened? I mean, it may be true (controversial), but it's not something that should be said by a family member!\n\nWhat annoys me even more is that she will never admit when she's done wrong. She'll just start guilting me, telling me 'she always does her best'. When I pushed her for some kind of apology, she said I was bullying her and hung up.\n\nDo I have a right to be upset with her? Should I just forget this, or should I hold the grudge? I don't know if I'm being unreasonable.", "summary": "mother affords no sympathy for me being a victim of an assault, instead saying it was my fault for being drunk. Should I move on and forget?"} {"id": "t3_4kbeg6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 M] with my fianc\u00e9 [30 F] 3 Years, I found out she was in a porn movie 7 Years ago, we talked about this and have cleared the air. Ever since I found out I don't find her attractive anymore.", "post": "Hi reddit, as the title says I found out that my fianc\u00e9 did porn 7 years ago, I am pretty chilled out about sex and I know everyone has a past but I simply don't find her sexy at all. Honestly the best thing I liked about her was that she was innocent and cute now I just don't see her in that way anymore, I'm still loving towards her because I thought I just needed time but now I know it's just not happening. Today I told her that I think we should hold off having the wedding and I think she knows what the problem is.\n\nI know it's not her fault because she didn't even know me then but I now know I can't marry her because she just isn't the same person in my eyes anymore, Has anyone been through what I have.", "summary": "found out she was in a porn movie 7 Years ago, we talked about this and have cleared the air, ever since I found out I don't find her attractive anymore"} {"id": "t3_10bh37", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "me [23] her [18] Read something on her messages and found it a bit disturbing. Been going out for 8 months", "post": "Relationship has been on for about 8 months. So I never like snooping through my gfs stuff. weather it be fb, texting whatever. But while we were chillen at her house, she brings up some fb messages I see a message from a guy and jokingly give her a hard time about it. She said you can read it so she opens it and scrolls up real fast. This makes me think shes hiding something so as I scroll down she makes a comment to this guy via message saying \"why did you cut your hot ass hair\". Follow by him responding with a frown face she then replies. \"Whats the face for babe?\" Idk but from what I figured the name babe was a term solely used for your SO. needless to say we had a talk as I was a bit pissed at her talking like this to another guy, she used to have a crush on. Am I out of line for getting mad at this?", "summary": "Saw gf message she said some out of line things I got mad about it. Was this the right course of action?"} {"id": "t3_4066mb", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "Tifu by shitting in public. NSFW?", "post": "This actually just happened and I'm still dealing with the consequences as I type this. It is 7:30 Saturday morning and I brought my car to the dealership to get it worked on. I had to shit something fierce as I waited for them to open. As soon as they took the keys I headed straight for the John. I'm sitting there for a few minutes when all of a sudden the bathroom lights cut off and I'm now completely in the dark. It was one of those motion lights that cuts off with a timer. My first thought was \"how am I gonna know when I'm done wiping?\" I knew what had to be done. I stood up and pulled up my pants enough to cover my genitals but obviously my ass was still quite barren. I open the stall door expecting that to be enough to trigger the motion light to cut back on. No such luck. I knew venturing out further was a big risk but I had already gone too far. I took 2 more steps when BAM the door swung open and the lights clicked on. I had two options. I could stand there and face my demise head on, or hightail it back into the stall. I tried to be quick about it but there was no way I wasn't getting caught. I can only imagine the instant shock they must have been in to see my very pale, very hairy ass as I scurried back into the stall. I wiped as fast as I could and got out of there. Only seeing a pair of nikes and khaki pants as I washed my hands and darted out the door. Now I'm sitting in the waiting room, face to face with the only other man in the world who knows my dark secret. He hates my guts I can just feel it.", "summary": "shat in public, motion lights cut off. Caught bare assed trying to trigger motion lights back on. Kill me."} {"id": "t3_a3t5o", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Dearest Nerds, please guide me on buying a totally sweet phone. Thanks.", "post": "Hey, guys. I've had my phone now for over five years and while it has more than stood the test of time, I think it's time to move on. I'm looking for a phone that is 3G, or whatever G is the most current nowadays and probably a touch-screen of some sort.\n\nI'd like to stay away from buying an iPhone as I feel the second I get one, it will quickly be replaced by the newest version that comes with a slightly larger headphone jack or some bullshit, rendering mine useless.\n\nI use AT&T and will not be switching providers, so please use this information in your advice. Price is of no concern, so use your imagination. Not your literal imagination, though, because it is very hard for AT&T to bill me on that.\n\nI've come to reddit because, I can honestly say, this section of the internet has genuinely won me over for being so intelligent and insightful. I love you.", "summary": "I want a new smart phone of some kind. 3G+, wireless internet, perhaps GPS-capable. Help."} {"id": "t3_33s0l7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How can I get my boyfriend (31/M) to stop correcting me (27/F) and others? Flat-out asking didn't work.", "post": "I've been with my boyfriend for a year now. He is a professor with a master's degree, working on a PhD. I, on the other hand, dropped out of college my sophomore year. I'm back in school now, though, and should graduate with a Bachelor's degree in two more years. \n\nI love that my boyfriend is so smart, but anytime I make a grammar/spelling/math mistake, no matter how small, he not only corrects me but laughs at me. For instance, I mispronounced a word the other day, and he wouldn't shut up about it for a solid three minutes or so. He laughed, and said I pronounced it the way \"someone who's only seen the word in books but has never heard it spoken\" would say it. Then he mocked me by saying the word the way I pronounced it a few times. \n\nHe also likes to correct others as well. We play in a couple of role-playing games, and he had to point out that someone made a mistake by saying \"consecrated\" instead of \"desecrated\", and laughing about it. I told him that the way he was correcting people was rude, but he still does it all the time. \n\nMy question is, what can I do to get him to stop? It makes him look like a jackass, but he's honestly a great person and I don't want people to get the wrong impression of him. Apparently, outright telling him that it's rude did not work.", "summary": "Super smart boyfriend corrects everyone, myself included. I told him that the habit is rude, but it hasn't stopped him. What can I do to make him quit?"} {"id": "t3_35rdmy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [26/F] boyfriend [29/M] will never tell his family about me.", "post": "I've been with this guy for almost four months, and we're very much in love. It's gotten pretty serious pretty quickly, but in a way that we're both comfortable with and that seems like it's going to last. He comes from quite a religious background, and while he isn't practicing his family is very religious, conservative, and judgmental. They live several states away and he is somewhat estranged from most of them. He hasn't told any of them about me yet, and the other day he told me that he probably won't ever tell them, unless we're about to get married (which isn't anytime soon). \n\n\u00a0\n\nThis bothers me, but I'm not really sure why, or if it should matter. I'm reasonably close with my family and he's met both my parents and sister, which he's been fine with and has gone well. He says that he just doesn't want to deal with his family's judgement, or questions about his personal life, which I get. But if I'm going to be part of his life long term, I feel weird about them not even knowing I exist. It makes me feel sort of insecure about our relationship and whether he feels as serious about it as I do.\n\n\u00a0\n\nIs this something I should be worried about, or do I need to just learn to accept it? I know that I can't understand where he's coming from, since I've never had these kinds of problems with my family. Is it unfair of me to be stressed about this? Or is it a red flag for the relationship?\n\n\u00a0\n\nI'd really like to hear thoughts!", "summary": "My boyfriend will never tell his family I exist, unless we end up getting married. This bothers me but I don't know if it's something I should really be worried about."} {"id": "t3_4scq6y", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Possible ADD/ADHD?", "post": "18 year old, Male. 5'7\" ~140lbs. White \n \nOver the last three or so years, when I started dual enrollment, I started hitting a wall. I've never been able to sit down and focus on anything, unless it stimulated me in several areas at once(that is to say, made me think in multiple ways, and some body movement). It hadn't really mattered before, as I tended to get any academic work done fairly quickly, and my elementary school and high school didn't require much time studying. When I started taking college classes and needed to do more work outside of the classroom, I couldn't, and still cannot, concentrate. It feels as though I have multiple trains of thought, and each takes a brief turn at center stage. Some come back and become recurring, normally whatever my work was, and some just pop in and vanish. \n \nI often use high amounts of caffeine in an attempt to stay focused, although I haven't been lately. There is no difference. I started using nicotine for the same reason. \nLately, I got Adderall from a friend, 10mg instant release. I've used one a day, for four days now, and it helps immensely. \nEssentially, what I'm asking is, based on this might I actually have a condition to diagnose and treat, or do I just have low attention span which I'm not trying to validate. \nWhen I was very young my teachers thought I had it, but my doctor refused to diagnose, as if present it wasn't severe, and she didn't want to medicate a small child with psychiatric drugs. \nI should mention that this worsened with depression, as I couldn't muster the fortitude to do anything, and when I did, I quickly lost focus and gave up.", "summary": "symptoms: Multiple trains of thought occupy the forefront of my mind. Cannot focus on anything for very long, even things I enjoy."} {"id": "t3_o0tli", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, What subreddit do I post this on if I want to find someone who wants to have a relationship?", "post": "So, I am an 18 year old guy in Garwood who is tired of being single. I have literally been single my entire life. lol I am really chill, but I am also extreamly shy. (Like a Socially Awkward Penguin mixed with Good Guy Greg) I am sorry but I am really shallow and can only see cute girls as date able. I know, it is a huge first world problem...But I can only like girls shorter than me, they have to be skinny, shy, and have a cute face with pretty eyes. I promise you that I am not that bad looking, I may not be as good looking as my brother, but all the girls who think I am gay say that they would date me in an instant because I am \"The perfect guy\" but I am so scared to start a relationship that I have friend zoned myself and just went on telling girls that I was Bi. (I am really actually metro sexual.) This is my facebook if you guys think I am bad looking.", "summary": "Shallow Forever Aloner is looking for a short cute girl near Garwood Please do not spam me, It took me a lot of courage to even post this...Please do not make me regret it..."} {"id": "t3_3ggehl", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by giving my cousin a lift and discovering she left her purse in my car.", "post": "This happened on Saturday night. It all started off with my cousin texting me asking me if I could give her a lift into town so she could go on a night out and that she'd cover my petrol. No Problem.\n\nAfter giving her a lift and dropping her off at the long strip of bars and clubs, I realised that she'd forgotten her purse and left it in my car. No problem, I know where she's heading, I'll just jump out and run after her to give it her back.\n\nThis is where the fuck up happens, after finding her and returning her purse I happen to bump into my drunken, recent ex girlfriend and she see's me with an unknown girl. She begins to accuse me of stalking her into town and trying to make her jealous with this girl and this prompts a massive argument.\n\nOut of nowhere her new guy, also drunk, comes charging in out of nowhere and begins getting confrontational with me. Now i'm not one for physical violence but I was angry. Anyway this douche decides to start getting in my face and i'm not having it so out of nowhere I lamp him in the nose and he drops to the floor and is bleeding. Result.\n\nExcept now I have an excruciating pain my hand and it immediately begins to swell. After a long wait in A&E on a Saturday night I discover I have broken two knuckles and chipped a bone in my hand.", "summary": "Cousin forgets purse on a night out, I give it her, bump into psycho ex, fight new boyfriend and fuck my hand up."} {"id": "t3_sng01", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Just broke up with my girlfriend. Feels incredibly fine. Any similar experiences?", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for 10 months now. And we literally just broke up 30 minutes ago. What happened was that we both realized we were different. She thought we wanted different things. I thought that we loved a person differently(ie. I felt she didn't love me the same way I loved her). Now I feel incredibly ok. Not that im ecstatic but I feel a lot better(we had broken up twice before and got back together each time). I think it's because I finally realized that we're different and love each other differently. So reddit, have you had any similar experiences where you felt surprisingly fine after a break up? If so, did you know why?\nP.S. we are still best friends and we are going to maintain a close relationship purely as friends.", "summary": "Girlfriend and I broke up. Feels surprisingly fine. Any similar experiences and what made you feel so fine about the breakup?"} {"id": "t3_36a719", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by holding in a fart so long that it ruined my sexytime", "post": "This happened on Friday.\n\nI'd been seeing this girl for about a month, taking it slow. We'd fooled around a bit, the tension was high and we were both ready to unleash. I don't know what I ate, but I had a rogue fart all night and I just could not get myself into a place where I could slip it out. It grew, and grew, and eventually was so large that it was not something I could just seep out quietly in the bathroom (right next to her bed). \n\nWe were getting saucy and I was hoping it would subside long enough to get some action, but she climbed on top of me and I quickly realized that I could not hold this. It had to come out of me. I panicked, \"I have to run to my car real fast, I forgot the condoms in my glovebox\". I haven't worn a condom since high school and I wasn't planning on wearing one this evening, we were being safe though so don't worry about it. Anyways, I get to my car, unleash what I could describe as the Sistine Chapel Ceiling of flatulence. I was Michelangelo and my spinach risotto from dinner was my brush. I then run across the street, pick up some Trojans, and go upstairs. \n\nWe get it back on, I feel good, but the second I opened that Trojan package, the lovely smell and slimy texture just ruined everything about it, [my reaction when](\n\nIt ruined the entire evening for me and I just couldn't get the situation going for a third time, so we both fell asleep sexually frustrated (until morning).", "summary": "Held in a fart, it grew into something so large I couldn't slip it out, panicked and lied about condoms, ruined my entire date night and sexy time."} {"id": "t3_3gjove", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (18/F) parents (59/F & 60/M) are moving across the country and expect me to move with them. How to tell them I want to stay here?", "post": "I've lived in New York my entire life, and I love it here. I live in a big city north of NYC and I love everything about it. I have good friends and a boyfriend I adore. My parents have recently decided to put our house up for sale and move over to Arizona, which I feel would be a drastic change for me, and every time they have talked to me about it, they say they \"need\" me in Arizona with them, and that I'm going to love it there.\n\nI really don't want to move there. I have tried to have an open mind about it, but every possible outcome the cons outweigh the pros. It had been very difficult for me to make and keep friends, having a very tough high school experience and I've finally made some lasting bonds and to up and move would be the worst, especially with them all going to college. Plus I have my boyfriend, who I have an amazing connection with, he's even said I can move in with him (which I don't think I'd want to do because he lives in NJ and my parents would disapprove). \n\nI just graduated high school and am currently working this year part time, and planned to go to a local college next fall. My older siblings both live in NY and I have a strong connection with my sister, I couldn't bare being so far away from her. How can I make it work so that I don't have to move with them? Thing is, I don't know if I could afford my own place here (It's pretty expensive) and I'm not sure if I could live with my sister. \n\nAny advice on how to talk to them about it? My dad is very stern and insists he knows best for me, when he really has no clue/doesn't pay attention to my life. I'm scared of saying no to him and how he'll react. And while I'm technically an adult being 18, if I got cut off from them I'd have a very hard time getting by financially.", "summary": "Parents moving from NY to AZ, expect me to drop friends/boyfriend/sister to move with them. I don't want to but don't know if I have any other options."} {"id": "t3_4a9j0g", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Co-worker (30F), who has feelings for me, is not happy with her marriage and wants to use me (28M) as a way to get out of it.", "post": "So, a co-worker of mine (30F) and I (28 M) have gotten very close over the last few years at work. It's obvious we both have developed feelings for each other but the problem is that she is married (for 2 years) and constantly hints to me that she isn't happy with how things have turned out. It's incredibly annoying since if she wasn't married we would definitely be dating and I don't know what she expects me to say in these situations. I'm not the kind of person who would ever help someone commit infidelity, but the problem is, it seems like wants me to. \n\nFor example, both of us went to a work conference in another city together and she asked me if we could stay in the same hotel room. I found it really strange but didn't want to make things weird between us so I just said, \"Yeah, that's fine\". Obviously, nothing happened when we stayed together since it would've been a disaster to sleep with someone who I work with and it would've wrecked my conscience, considering she's married. There have been so many examples of similar things happening and it's getting to the point where I'm trying to avoid her now.\n\nLuckily, she'll be leaving this job in 3 months and I probably won't see her again, but it's tough because I really like her and haven't met someone who I've clicked with so well. \n\nBasically, how should I handle these next 3 months and how do I stop wasting my time thinking about a person who I can't be with?", "summary": "Co-worker and I have become really close friends over the last few years and both have developed feelings for each other."} {"id": "t3_3h0sde", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by destroying a $1200 laptop with all my school work on it", "post": "Short and sweet. I just finished my 2nd year of college so i finally have time to myself so i decide to re sub to wow and chat with some old friends. I'm playing it enjoying it when i get the thought....\"i should totally get a coffee\". So naturally i did..... i'm sipping my coffee finishing some quests when i put my coffee onto the coaster. See this is where it gets good my dad has these super shitty coasters that are barley the size of the bottom of the cup. I misplaced this cup by an eighth of an inch and it tips over, all over the right hand side of my laptop. I freak the fuck out i pull the power cable slam down the power button like i was trying to suffocate an M&M and run downstairs. I grab a towel and blanket this thing while tipping it upside down to ensure all the coffee could escape. My mom lysols the fuck out of the keyboard which i feel could have caused some damage to it on its own. We use compressed air and ensure everything is gone. After waiting 30 or so minutes my mom insists we turn it on and it does. I turn it on to ensure the keys are working and everything is, its as good as the day i got it. I originally wanted to turn it on see if everything works then immediately off but some guildies needed help with shit so i got back into the game. Not even 20 minutes in the screen blacks out and stops working. The computer continues to try and boot itself back up again only to fail at the dell logo. I pressed the power down to ensure it was off. I waited another hour i go to turn it on and nothing its dead and so are my dreams.", "summary": "Poured coffee all over my laptop and due to ignorance i fucked it up.....WoW ruining my life againnnnnnn."} {"id": "t3_4fp68f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with my boyfriend [24M] been dating for 2 months,he's way too busy and timid about dating", "post": "Been seeing him for two months we were friends before for a year. \nI was the one to ask him out and for two months it was always me that asked to go anywhere or I would tag along where he's going. I always have to hold his hands or else it wouldn't happen or message him first.\n\nSo I just straight up asked him if he likes me he said yes\nbut just feels like he has no interest or too busy to be interested in me. We didn't even kiss yet cause he won't do anything if I don't.\n\nI kissed on the cheek like last week\n\nI don't have much experience either, only dated one guy before him so I'm so lost. I like him a lot so should I just be patient and wait for him to get time off from work?", "summary": "Introvert boyfriend and super busy with work. Do I keep asking to see him whenever he gets free time or give him some space?"} {"id": "t3_2qbq2a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25/M] don't see a good ending to this long distance relationship with her [31/F]", "post": "Made throwaway for this.\n\nI'm currently in graduate school in NYC, and generally broke (or at least on limited income). I spent the summer working on a project in the UK and met an amazing woman. It was a beautiful 2 months together. We kept in touch and she decided to visit in early November. It was an amazing week and feelings only grew stronger, but we need to be realistic. She wants to try to make it work, but I just don't see any way this ends well.\n\nI'm spending another 2 years in school and have limited resources for visiting. She's a small business owner and has to run her store. Opportunities for us to visit are few and far between. Even worse, I'm likely to end up working in NYC and her business is taking off, meaning she's likely to stay. We connect so well but I don't think I can carry this on. I don't think I can take going months on end not knowing when we could see each other again, or even knowing if we could ever live together. Has anyone jumped into a long distance relationship like this? With so much uncertainty ? It seems to me that this can only end in heartbreak if we go any further. She really means so much to me.", "summary": "I want to be in a relationship with her, but long distance scares me and our independent goals are getting in the way with no end in sight. I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_32rsm5", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by sharing a meme picture in a Facebook group chat", "post": "This happened about a year ago, it came up in my mind because I thought this was a good FU.\n\nAnyway, me and my friends made a group chat on Facebook for the three of us. We decided to talk about ridiculous things, like politics, girls, world news, and how was our day etc. Nothing too bad, just a normal chat.\n\nOne day, my friend invited my best friend's sister to the group chat (at this time, me and the friend were friends with her on Facebook). As starters, I was not thinking straight and said \"What's up X\" (X is referring to my best friend's sister). Without realizing, I posted a picture from my computer that had an internet meme that was a sexist joke to girls. \n\nShe saw the message and picture, deleted me and my friend and my best friend was not allowed to see me for a while (she showed it to her parents).\n\nI immediately felt like shit and apologized to her parents and her herself. They all accepted and forgave me though. To this day, I'm surprised her boyfriend is not angry at me.", "summary": "Friend invited a friend's sibling to a Facebook group chat, I accidentally posted a picture that was inappropriate and mildly sexist."} {"id": "t3_29f2g9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Update: Friend [19/m] is going on a power trip and is cutting all of his friends out of his life for that girl [24/m] who is cheating on her boyfriend with him. What should I do now?", "post": "[Original here](\n\nYesterday, I called him and he declined the call, then he texted me saying \"If I decline the call, that means I don't want to be bothered.\" and \"I'm spending time with (girl). This is our day so leave us alone.\" which then I replied with \"You're on a power trip right now and your putting everyone else at a rank lower than your toilet and starting to act all \"alpha-male\" and think you're superior to everyone. Quit rubbing it in.\". He then replied with \"I'm not on a power trip, you're just jealous, so fuck off.\". I talked to my other friends I was with and they said something about finding out who her boyfriend is and telling him about what's going on.\n\nWhat's my best course of action? Tell her boyfriend? Cut him out of my life?", "summary": "friend is going on a power trip and treating his friends like shit and cutting them out of his life for this one girl."} {"id": "t3_3yyq8d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my friend [18 F] 1 year, I don't like being in the 'friend zone'", "post": "This is pretty much the guy version of [this](\n) post except I respect what she wants.\n\nFirst of all, I think it's necessary to point out that distance is an issue between us as we're in different countries and she has depression. I'm extremely bad with recounting events so I'll just do a timeline.\n____\nFeb: We started off as friends\n\nJuly: Romantic connection established\n\nAugust: She decided to put me in the dreaded friendzone. I remain in this hole until...\n\nOctober: I asserted strongly to her that if I can't be anyone special in her life, we should probably part ways. She agreed and we stopped talking.\n\nDecember: She messages me saying she missed me so I thought we should start off again. \n\nThe problem is, it's exactly how it was in August when I had been friendzoned. Her feelings for me have completely evaporated while mine still remain. I understand that we have to start from the beginning but when she asks about any potential girls I've been looking at that I might wanna marry and have kids with, hasn't she already defined the boundaries of this relationship?", "summary": "Someone I really really like friend-zoned me, we broke up, she wants to start over yet I'm friend-zoned again. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3kmj0n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with [23 M] A throwaway Instagram DM said SO is cheating?", "post": "Last week I got a random comment on one of my instagram photos telling me to check my DMs. Today, I finally updated my app and saw the actual message from what appears to be a throwaway account. \n\nThere are 4 messages all together sent within a 9 minute time span. \n\nThe first message, they tell me they have some info on my SO and warning me not to run to him with the news. \n\nThe second message, they say they have proof. That my SO DMs and flirts with their friend in the city he use to live in. How she is telling me because girls have to stick together. \n\nThrird message says that he blows up their friends facebook and asks for me to surprise him in person asking to check his facebook messages. \n\nFourth message, they call my SO a loser and tell me I shouldn't be with him. (along with some more personal info about him) \n\nI'm wondering what should I do? I replied to them (a week later, which is today) asking for them to send me the proof they have, however, it seems like their account is a throwaway and that they will probably not get back to me. Especially after a whole week of no reply. It's a little out of line to ask my SO to see their facebook messages, isn't it? Is there a way to find out who sent me these message? No idea what I can do or should do? Pretend it never happened?", "summary": "Stranger that seems to know my SO personally sends me DM on Instagram saying he's cheating on me. Don't know what to do?"} {"id": "t3_3e69xl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my [20F] for 3 months, those three big words..", "post": "Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.\n\nI've been officially dating my girlfriend for almost three months. Before this we were hooking up for about a month before we put a title on it. I've dated before, but never have had a relationship as serious as this. This is my first \"serious\" relationship, and i'm not trying to rush anything. This girl just continues to blow my mind. She just bought a plane ticket to come to a wedding I invited her to that several states away. I know most of her extended family, I know her weaknesses and her aspirations, and she knows mine. I'm sure I have feelings for her. I guess what I'm wondering is whether it's normal for the male (given today;s societal roles) to say the three big words first, or if I should hold off and wait until she says them first.", "summary": "4 months of relations, 3 months in a relationship, should I be the first to tell her the three big words."} {"id": "t3_3rveoh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Family] My [26f] cousin [21f] has accused me of hitting on her bf [21m].", "post": "This is a throw away, I'm on mobile and all these names are fake. \n\nI don't even know where to begin because I was caught so off guard by this and have no idea how long it has been going on for. \n\nI have been in the army for 6 years, only going home twice a year and seeing my extended family for Christmas. There has been some family drama before, (brother is a drug addict and father is mentally ill), but nothing that has ever involved extended family. \n\nMy cousin Kim [21f] and I had been very close growing up. Close enough that I'd even considered her a sister. While she was in high school she met Dave [21m]. They have been joined at the hip ever since. \nBecause I only come home twice a year, I've really only met Dave a handful of times, but he comes to all my family's functions. So I have always treated him like family. I have been over this 1000 times and I still have no idea where these accusations are coming from but apparently Kim was extremely upset. \n\n\u2022I have only met Dave at family functions\n\n\u2022I have always been polite\n\n\u2022I have never been alone with Dave, ever. \n\n\u2022I have not been single during any of the times I had been home\n\n\u2022I have never talked to Dave outside of family functions, or with out other family members present\n\nThis has become a major issue. Now that I have moved back to my home state, I'd like to start going to more family functions. I have reached out to all of my extended family with out response and now I feel unwelcomed, and uninvited. I haven't been able to attend Thanksgiving in years and now I don't think I should. I feel rejected from my own family. If I really had done something to hurt someone I wish they would have just been honest and confronted me. I'd never do anything inappropriate or hurtful intentionally. Especially because I love Kim. She's amazing.", "summary": "My cousin accused me of making a pass at her bf, it has caused my family to isolate me after years of military service. How can I fix this if I can't get a response from anyone? "} {"id": "t3_1u6l3y", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Naive young man having lady problems", "post": "Hi guys,\n\nI've been dating this girl for about 3 weeks now and we usually get along great and enjoy each others company. \n\nBut last night, New Year's Eve, I met up with her and her mood took a rapid downward spiral. For 2 hours we sit and in silence with me having to pry each word out of her. I try to ask her what's the matter. I get a very passive-aggressive, \"nothing\" multiple times. \n\nThen we go to a New Years party. I figure the best thing to do is to leave her be with her friends. In the meantime, I consult her friend as to what might be wrong. They have no clue either. She is obviously upset and it's clearly visible. Over the night she warms up to me a little but I can see it was a show for her friends. As soon as we are a lone again she is right back to being cold. \n\nI haven't talked to her so far because I'm understandably upset over her abusive behavior.\n\nWhat should I do now?", "summary": "She's was upset about something. Don't know if it was me or something else. What's my next move?"} {"id": "t3_uxcaz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What was the best \"Dick Moment\" you ever experienced in School?", "post": "One time in High school just before graduation, there was a random announcement broadcasting that the school was on lockdown, but there was no reason given, and no indication of it being a drill (Literally just *click \"attention, we're on lock down\" *click*). I began to ask the teacher what was going on but in mid sentence the guy next to me says \"Shut up n*gger\" in a very icy tone. Not having it for a second, I promptly get up and leave the classroom in a semi-rage; unconsciously knocking over the chair I got out of (<- Key Element). The teacher comes out and asks if I'm okay. I reply that I am and say that I'm going down to the office to cool down. A little later while sitting down the assistant principal storms over to me and starts screaming bloody murder. I was caught off guard and reduced to a rubble in seconds. My tears turned to confusion when he repeated what he thought happened to me. According to him, I stood up, threw a chair at my class mate, flipped off the teacher, stormed out the class room and punched a locker. He also told me that I should \"...stop using [my] autism as a crutch\".", "summary": "After leaving a classroom in anger at a classmate for calling me the N word, the vice principal flips out at me for stuff I didn't do, while telling me that my legitimate autism is more or less an excuse."} {"id": "t3_33idoy", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[28m] Girlfriend of 1 year [25f] goes out of town for a week and ignores my calls/texts. Should I be concerned?", "post": "She left for Boston last Thursday. We finally talked on the phone for about ten minutes 4 days later on Monday (after calling and texting Sunday night and never getting a response), and once before that for a couple of minutes when she was drunk and wanted to bitch about her friend. But other than that she's almost avoided contacting me entirely.\n\nI texted Friday night and she didn't respond at all. I saw she logged onto Facebook through her phone about 4 times after though, so she had to have seen it. She finally texted back the next morning saying she went bar hopping with friends and her phone died, which was a lie since she logged into facebook intermittently all night. I also saw through instagram that she was at a party, which she left out.\n\nWhen she HAS texted me, it's been short sentences, and it's only been in response to me. If I hadn't initiated contact the few times she's texted me, I'm not certain I would've talked to her at all.\n\nShould this be a concerned? Should I just stop contacting her and see what happens, or is that too passive aggressive?", "summary": "girlfriend out of town and doesn't seem to want to talk to me. Says her phone keeps dying but I can see that she's on Facebook mobile"} {"id": "t3_1ziit7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25/F] feel as though my fiance [33/M] never seduces me.", "post": "My fiance and I will be getting married in 8 weeks on our 3 year anniversary. Overall we get along amazingly, share the same interests, enjoy spending time together, laugh a lot, and rarely fight. \n\nWe have sex often and we have both always been open about how much we enjoy the sex we have. That being said, I am always the one to initiate sex. I love this man, I love to be intimate with him, and I want him to feel good and know that he is desired. However, I also want him to show his desire for me and I don't feel as though he is doing it. We have a cycle in our relationship where I go months being the primary initiator, then I ask him to please try to make an effort to initiate more, he will initiate once, and then he goes back to never initiating.\n\nI think I have a fairly realistic grasp on sex in relationships and I definitely do not expect every sexual encounter to be \"magical\" and that there is nothing wrong with just having a quickie. I try to keep things interesting, I go out of my way to find alternatives to please him during shark week, and I feel as though I have been honest and open about my desires for him to initiate more and show more passion towards me. I don't really know what more I can do to convey the message that I need him to show an interest in me in this way because his lack of interest is making me feel hurt and undesirable. \n\nWhat can I do?", "summary": "Fiance of almost 3 years never initiates sex, even when I have asked him to do it more. Feeling hurt and undesired. How can I get him to initiate?"} {"id": "t3_paxh1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Am I overreacting, or was the way that they fund-raised wrong?", "post": "So this ski place that I went to recently apparently was also fundraising for some medical cause. At every single cash-register - from the booth selling lift tickets to the restaurants- after you had given them your money, the person operating it would ask, \"Would you consider donating X-dollars/your change for _____ cause? They would always seem very pushy, and would imply that you should donate \"because it is only one dollar.\" (They actually said this.) Also, there was immense pressure to donate because you were surrounded by lots of others, everyone waiting for your response made it even more awkward, you would seem unreasonable if you didn't donate, and the power was in there hands, because they still had your money.\n\nJust to eliminate confusion: I am all for donation, but I just felt that the way that they did it was unfair.\n\nNow to go on: The first time that I was asked was at one of the booths. I was not sure whether I would have enough money for food, so I declined to donate. After mentioning this, the clerk handed me my receipt, and asked me to sign some paper to donate. I asked him what it was, and then explained to him that I would still like to have my change back (he had not given me it). I am not sure if it was on accident or not, but he seemed to give me a hard time, and seemed to take a while opening the register to give me my change back. Then (I am not sure if this was on accident or not), he gave me my lift sticker, but did not give me the metal thing on which to attach it, which I noticed after I had left the booth.\n\nAnother time, I was at a cash register, and the person that I was with declined to donate. The person at the cash register said, \"But it is only one dollar,\" and \"That little boy over there donated.\" My friend responded with, \"No Thanks,\" and the person responded, \"Yes?\" I just thought that the whole process was quite annoying.\n\nAm I overreacting? Is it OK the way that they handled the donation process?", "summary": "Ski place asked for donations at cash register while money was in their hands, pressured people to donate with numerous strategies, seemed overbearing."} {"id": "t3_1hsxxz", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Old dog having issues", "post": "Hi reddit, I have a 14 year old Wheaten Terrier. He is mostly deaf and has arthritis in his hips. Going upstairs is usually a trouble for him, but yesterday and today after his walk he shot right up the stairs, while usually I have to coax him all the way. I believe this is a confidence issue for him because whenever he slips a little, which happens a lot, he whimpers than comes back down. He usually eats in the basement and sleeps there (dont worry its a nice basement) but we keep the door open so he can come up. Recently we moved his food and bed upstairs to the main level so he doesn't have as much stress on his hips going up and down, but when we walk him or take him to the bathroom we go through the basement. We tried putting food at the top of the stairs and that has helped, do you think this is a confidence issue, or something to do with arthritis.", "summary": "Old dog has trouble going upstairs, when we put food upstairs he shoots right up. Is it a confidence or physical issue"} {"id": "t3_2ymbfs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my bf [23 M] of 2 years, introduced by father and recently found out father set up the entire relationship.", "post": "I'm sort of in an 'everything was a lie' type of mood after this revelation. Background is that he lives overseas while I live in the U.S. and I was introduced to him by my father via an online meeting. We started texting/having sporadic irl meetings, during which I made it clear to him from the start that I was unsure if I'd call us 'dating'. I wasn't prepared for a long distance relationship, but here we were 2 years later.\n\nHe began pushing for marriage almost 2 months ago which raised my red flags, because I'd always mentioned how I didn't favor the idea of marriage. I casually mentioned it in conversations, and found out through various family members that my father set up the entire meeting/dates because bf is a wealthy businessman with income in the millions and he wanted me to get married to him. My father knows my view on marriage, and his past efforts of setting up 'potential boyfriends' always ended with me rejecting them. He set up these dates by many, MANY methods, some of which I can't even fathom (one includes having bf fake many of my interests.)\n\nI'm very peeved at the moment at the two of them because apparently bf knew from the get go that my father was 'arranging' a marriage and was fine with it. I'm having second thoughts over whether or not our relationship, or whatever it is, was real right now.", "summary": "Found out relationship was setup by dad, not sure if bf was just trying to get an overseas wife or what."} {"id": "t3_4hbm98", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My ex [f/21] has initiated contact with me [21/m] for the second time!", "post": "So for the 2nd time my ex has initiated contact after a whole year of nothing.\n\nThe first time I pretty much assumed she wanted to see me. She told me she was definitely up for a catchup, so I asked her to get in touch with me when she's back from her gap year trip and she said she would.\n\n5 days later she sends me \"OMG I'm going to watch a football game in Rio, it's going to be amazing\".\n\n Is she trying to get us to talk?\n\nI'm really bad with messages, especially over FB. I want to get us to talk in person rather than electronically. \n\n It seems like she's open to it, but wants us to continue talking.\n\nWhat do you guys think?", "summary": "Ex initiates contact for a second time after a year of No Contact. She has (sort of) agreed to meet (no definite date yet), but seems to want to continue to talk over FB."} {"id": "t3_4s9lxs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I told my husband(34m) he's only with me because I(33f) earn more than him -- it was a bad joke but he's taking it seriously", "post": "We hosted a dinner party tonight and invited close friends. We got in a spat yesterday about finances where he was trying to get us to save more money and was judging my spending habits. Anyways, at dinner he brought up that I spent over $100 on a pair of shoes. \n\nHe was saying it playfully but I felt judged in light of our spat yesterday. I was being stupid and said he's only with me because I earn more than him. It was stupid and disrespectful and I regret saying it. \n\nI do earn more than him, he's a high school english teacher, I'm a consultant. He's told me before in intimate conversations that he feels ashamed about this even though he knows he shouldn't. I knew it was a sensitive topic and that saying it was mean and humiliating. \n\nWe had a huge fight after our friends left and he's taking what I said seriously. He proposed taking time off from seeing each other to \"figure out why we're in this marriage\". I was just making a dumb joke. I have apologized numerous times but he's still taking what I said when I was joking seriously. \n\nHow do I get him to see that it was seriously just a joke?", "summary": "I told my husband he's only with me because I earn more than him -- it was a bad joke but he's taking it seriously and wants to take time off"} {"id": "t3_vvq11", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Mixed gas & oil in the lawnmower... HELP!", "post": "Okay Reddit, here's the story. Dad gets a new lawnmower, I see only one tube to put gas into. I pour it down that gas tube, but I notice that it's smaller than our last lawnmower. I poured a LOT into it...\n\nWithout thinking too much, I go out and hold down the lever and pull the cord. The engine starts for 2 seconds and starts and then dies down and kills itself. I realize that there's another tank separately for gas and oil (was not aware of this...). I read Google and people tell me to pour the entire mixture out of the oil tank.\n\nI did so and all of it was poured out. I leave the valve open and let it dry for 36 hours. I come back and pour in a new oil. I slowly pulled the cord to \"let some oil into the engine to hopefully clean out the bad mixture that might have gotten in.\" Then I pour out that old mixture and pour in new oil again for \"clean\" oil. I go and try to start the lawnmower and it isn't starting properly.\n\nI know what I did was wrong and I don't need people reminding me that I made a mistake, my only question is... what do I do at this point? Is the motor for the lawnmower totally shot? What does Reddit think?", "summary": "Mixed gas & oil. Tried to start it. Might've fed it up. Poured out the mixture and poured in just oil. Still doesn't work. Help?"} {"id": "t3_2n1jhg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] know this girl [18 F] who's clearly into me and I have no idea what to say.", "post": "Ok here goes.\n\nI've got this girl who got a crush on me but I don't like her. The reason why I don't like her is both because she's the ex of an old friend of mine, and because I don't feel the \"spark\". \n\nShe has been asking me every weekend for like two months if I want to do something, but I have declined with bad conscience every time.\n \nToday a common friend of our asked us and another girl to go see a movie together. I accepted the request because I really wanted to see that movie, and this girl asked me to. I really feel bad for disappointing her as much as I've done. \n\nWe had a great time at the movie and everything and went home for ourselves afterwards. \n\nWhen I got home she started to chat with me on Facebook about what's wrong about \"us\" and everything. She just doesn't get why I don't wanna be with her (At least she pretends), so I started to agree. After a while she asked me to hang out tomorrow again, all by ourselves, but I had to come up with some bullshit story. \n\nI just figured that I can't continue to let her down, but she just don't want to take the hint... She is cute, funny, nice and everything but I just can't date or hang out with her.", "summary": "Girl got crush on me. I don't. She keeps asking me to hang out. Finds bullshit excuses. Doesn't take the hint. Ehr."} {"id": "t3_38fdzi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with [25 M] 4-5 months, wasn't ready for a relationship...now he is?", "post": "We have been dating for 4/5 months (we are exclusive since 1 month) right off the bat said he was looking for a relationship etc. I was on the same page. Than he started a new job a month later to pay for school (he didn't want to be on a loan for school) I said I understood as I was in the same boat (working hard this summer to pay for school, we are mid twenties.) Anyways we've grown closer and Ive mad no mention of a relationship before. However I find myself really liking this guy and I am ready and open for a relationship. I told him this and He said he's priority was working lots and saving for school we should just take it slow/have fun.\n\nSo I said (calmly) that if he didn't want the same thing I completely respect that but I hope he can respect my decision to move on so we can both find someone who wants the same things that we both want. I wished luck and left the apartment.\n\nHis mouth was hanging open and I just left. He started blowing up my phone saying that he really liked me and didn't want to lose me, work was number one on his mind but he wanted to make it work with me and can't lose me and he just had a bad day at work and was stressed (I didn't know this)\n\nI haven't responded all this just happened last night. Im pissed off that he only wanted me when he thought he was going to lose me. How do I respond? I feel angry for some reason..", "summary": "Said I was ready for a relationship, he said he wasn't. I said good bye and he came running back....wtf"} {"id": "t3_126ufs", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm pretty (95) sure my SO's parents are racist =/, what things do u put up with that bother you alot for the sake of somehing else?", "post": "Yeah so... I was suspicious as to why she wouldn't tell her friends/family in the first place and she mentioned how much I am not like the usually guys she goes for. I thought she meant my personality because I'm a little different, but after about 3 months of talking to her I realized she was not only referring to that but also my skin tone, she admits to certain people in her family having old fashioned ideas, like her dad would be fine with us together but he would never approve of us getting married because I'm half black... not that that is what I'm looking for but she laughed it off XD and I was all like holy fuck that's racist O_O... never met the guy before in my life but the things she tells me just raises more concerns than subsides them. I have talked indirectly to her mom I think she is less but she has a bad opinion of me cause I've made my mistakes.\n\nI know she wants me to meet her family eventually but her grandparents \"aren't allowed to know about me yet\". I honestly don't mind walking into a racist family situation, been there done that and i know it means a lot to her so I'll bite the bullet and run with the scissors if it'll make her feel better. oh and they aren't white or particularly wealthy.\n\nI'll take advice and hear what reddit has to say, but what I want to know is what are other akward/weird/out of the ordinary things you have to put up with that is obviously uncomfortable for you the sake of someone else?", "summary": "My SO's parents are racist, she done a bad job trying to convince me otherwise but I plan on meeting with them eventually just cause she would like me to."} {"id": "t3_3f5tup", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (43M) told my wife (37F) last night that I'm not happy anymore", "post": "For a while now, more than a year, I've been unhappy in my marriage of almost 13 years. We've got two boys, a 9 year old and 4 year old. The 9 year old has recently started to notice the unhappiness which is one of the reasons last night I finally told her we needed to talk.\n\nAs expected she didn't take the news very well. She got out of bed and went for a drive for about an hour. Then she came home and slept out in the living room. I laid in bed upset and having no idea what to do.\n\nThis morning I got up to go to work and she wanted to talk finally. She asked what she could do to keep this from going any worse and I told her I didn't think there was anything. My mind is made up and I think I'm just ready to move on. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life but I want to stay strong and not change my mind thinking things are going to be any better later on.\n\nNow what the hell do I do? I'm absolutely lost here.", "summary": "told wife of almost 13 years last night that I'm not happy, told her this morning that I don't think anything will change that... help!"} {"id": "t3_11irbr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need help solving issues with Android at work", "post": "God I am just about to quit my job over an issue with my android phone. I work with a bunch of old fashioned, backwards thinking ass hats. For the past few weeks they have been having issues with the internet cutting out for periods of time. The last time my boss called the network admin who told him that an android device was using up about 20 of the available IP addresses and this was some how the problem.\n\nMy boss never brought it up with my I just heard his brother bitching loudly about how my phone is fucking up the entire network ( as I am the only android user in the office). \n\nMy Google-fu seems to be too weak to find a solution to the problem if it is my phone. As I write this I can hear the idiots going on about my phone again. Nobody in this office can run a damn computer and everyone is always calling on me to fix their printer connections, solve error messages etc No one in here could even tell you what an IP address stands for let alone does.\n\nIs it possible that my phone is causing this problem, if so how can I stop it?", "summary": "My android device is apparently 'hogging' all of the available IP addresses at work causing internet blackouts. Is this possible and if so how do I fix?"} {"id": "t3_tiv25", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Would it help if I said this feels pretty urgent? :(", "post": "Let me start with some background information. I'm 18, and about to graduate high school. I've pretty much been in a relationship pretty much ever since seventh grade. Most of them sucked; I've had ONE legitimately good relationship since then. (He and I are best friends, and I'm fairly certain that I will marry him one day.) However, I'm currently dating a guy I met at school. He was cool and everything to begin with, but when we started going out, everything changed. He's whiney, he's controlling, and overall, he's just pathetic. On top of that, he lied to me about how old he was, and didn't tell me 'til after we started dating. (He's 16, just for the record.) We've broken up once before, and my god, was it nasty. He went around telling people that I was using him for money, which I found hilarious, because he didn't even buy me a Valentine's day present \"because he wanted a bird\". Yeah. Anyways, it ended with A: him bringing all my laundry to school SOAKING WET and in a ripped up plastic grocery bag, and B: him screaming at me, in front of our entire first block JROTC class, to go fuck myself. So basically, I did what I always do- I took him back. I've put up with his clingy, childish bullshit for another barely tolerable two months, and I'm tired of it. I'm graduating on June 9th and shipping off to Basic Training on July 3rd (Army, 68W Combat Medic). I'm barely gonna get a \"summer break\" as it is, much less with him supergluing himself to me as usual. I don't want to drag this shit out, but another fight would emotionally ruin me right now. I'm not exactly one of strong emotional makeup, so this has been incredibly difficult for me. I guess now all I really need is advice. Help...? :(", "summary": "I'm young. I'm joining the Army and leaving in July. I have a shitty boyfriend. How do I fix this?"} {"id": "t3_vfct6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's your worst real life \"hive mind\" moment?", "post": "Here's mine.\n\nWhen I was in third grade, I ended up in the class of one of the coolest teachers I'd had yet. She was funny and witty, she was down to earth, and I didn't hate going to school. Things were great...but it didn't last.\n\nThere were no warning signs leading up to what happened, it just kind of happened. One day in class, an average day like any other, our teacher engaged another student in conversation during a lesson. My memory is foggy about what led up to the incident, but what happened is burned clearly into my memory. As far as I can remember, she said or asked him something in a joking/sarcastic tone. He stood up and said, \"No.\" And that's when she slapped him across the face.\n\nI couldn't believe it. I did what I thought any rational kid would do: I went home and told my mom. And because I was lucky enough to have an involved and caring mom, she took it straight to the principal.\n\nAgain, it's foggy, but I remember being harrassed by all the other kids who were there that day. I was called a liar by almost everybody. Nobody admitted the truth about what happened, not even the kid who got slapped. He said she patted him on the head. It blew my mind that he would cover for her. But even now, even despite the foggy recollection of everything else that happened before and after, I know the truth. That's when I learned that sheep have the tendency to follow one another, even when they're not headed in the right direction. I was the stray from the herd, and I became the outcast. Because I told the truth.\n\nAnybody got a similar story to share about the group mindset gone wrong?", "summary": "I snitched on my third grade teacher for slapping a student and nobody else owned up. I was shunned. Anything like this happen to you?"} {"id": "t3_ofsmh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the worst thing a house guest of yours has done?", "post": "I'll start.\n\nI should note that I live in a pretty unique setup. I live in the basement of a 3 story house owned by a family friend. The first floor is a communal living space with a kitchen and living room. My friend, his wife, his wife's sister and her fianc\u00e9 live on the second floor. The third floor is rented out and closed off from the rest of the house. \n\nOne thursday night a friend and I decided to go out to the bars and meet up with one of his friends who is in town from grad school. He seemed pretty normal, smart, and friendly, but for some reason (probably a lost bet,) his friend is sporting a [fu manchu] We proceed to get *very* drunk and I decide to grab a cab home at about 4am. His friend is in zombie drunk mode so he hops in my taxi thinking I'm going to a party or something. I let him come along to make sure he doesn't get lost in the city or ends up sleeping in an alley. \n\nWhen we get back to my apartment, I set him up to sleep on my couch and go to bed myself. I wake up to screaming from upstairs about an hour later. Aparently, this guy who I had met for the first time that night had wandered into the sister and her fianc\u00e9's bedroom and stood creepily at the foot of their bed, watching them sleep. When they woke up, he mumbled, \"Do you think I'm creepy? I can be way creepier.\"", "summary": "Friend of a friend stands at the foot of a housemate's bed and does his best serial killer impression very early in the morning."} {"id": "t3_33eywn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my [23 F] have been 7 years together, and we have a long distance relationship.", "post": "Me and my girlfriend have been living together for a while but since a while we are apart from eachother again. \nAtm we are not together but speak daily on whatsapp. \nShe uses my fb account to see on her friends/families posts. But i have found out that she is checking daily a friends profile [20] (pictures of him). They know eachother like 1 year.\n\nI once jokily asked if she liked him but she said ofcourse not. She sees him every weekend when working together. I know she wouldn\u00b4t cheat on me, but the fact she lies to me hurts me. I dont want to be controlling her and i never did, but the fact i noticed this now makes me do it anyway. \n\nShe is still normal to me and she didnt changed her behavior alot. She started checking on him since im gone.", "summary": "Should i be worried? What should i do? Do you think she really likes him? I know she checks his profile trough her internet history"} {"id": "t3_1alxsm", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I [19M] broke up with my ex [22F] to get away from the fights. But still miss her. (xpost)", "post": "I [19M] broke up with my ex [22F] to get away from the fights. They made me so miserable. But still find myself missing her greatly. We dated for 2 and a half years and she would get angry at me for any little thing, and I would do what she wanted. I was 100% whipped. But now I find myself so upset when I remember the few good times we had and desperately want them back. She always promised to stop the anger but never did. I lived in constant fear of the next argument. But now am reminded of the good times and my heart swells with missing her. My question is, is what I'm doing for the best?\nAlso, not sure if this helps, but when I used to tell her I loved her, part of me felt like I was lying. Which is another reason why I don't understand why I miss her so much.", "summary": "broke with ex because she made me very sad, but find myself missing her, is what I'm doing for the best?"} {"id": "t3_4jmmwx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (26F) am always consistently attracted to older men (40M). I already know I have daddy issues. Do I just accept this as a part of who I am?", "post": "Since I was young, I have been attracted to men aged age 30-50. I can't remember a time I'd ever had a crush on someone within my age range- anyone I've been attracted to has been at least 30 years or older, no exceptions, even when I was 10 or 11.\n\nNow at age 26, I am running into trouble with this preference. I have been involved with married men before, and most of the men I am attracted to turn out to be married. Which makes sense since they are between the ages of 40-50. I am NOT attracted to that sort of thing- they are not attractive to me because they're married. I'm attracted to them because they are older, paternal, and usually authoritative- and those men tend to already be married. \n\nTo be clear, I am extremely self-aware of all of my behaviors and psychology. I know I am attracted to father figures because my own father was absent, and I always felt that hole in my heart, in my life, and now that's all I chase after.\n\nI always knew I was \"different\" from my peers and I have tried to pretend to be attracted to people my age. Unfortunately, it's never been real. I've tried to lie to myself, lie to my friends, force myself to change my attractions. I told my mother a few times about how I like older men and would like to marry someone 40-50 years old and she was horrified and told me it was a terrible idea, men die earlier, you'll be miserable, you don't want an old father for your children, it's not right, etc, etc. But I'm just exhausted. I like what I like. Is that okay? I want someday to marry a man who is older and paternal, but without any drama involved (married, affairs, etc.) It's all I long for.", "summary": "I am aware of the fact that I'm looking for a father figure in my sexual relationships- is this something I need to \"fix\" or can I just accept it as just a part of me?"} {"id": "t3_2iy55z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with my abusive ex-boyfriend [26M] of 1 year, struggling with still living in the same city. The trial is over. Should I just move? (He has not tried to contact me or anything)", "post": "My ex-boyfriend became violent with me one night and I called the police. He was charged with battery by strangulation. The trial was *hell* but is now donewith. I am still struggling with the typical \"I deserved it\" mindset that most victims go through.\n\nIt was the first and last time he attacked me. He would be a dick sometimes but I never expected he would hurt me. He hasn't tried to contact me or anything, but I am having a really hard time still living in the same city. We had all the same friends and I lost *all* of them because of this incident. I see people we know everywhere when I go out and it ruins my self-worth knowing I lost my entire friend's group because of what he did to me. This was the first time anything like this had ever happened to me. I have never been called a name by a guy let alone had one try to basically kill me. To give some background, I had moved to the area for the university and became good friends with the whole group. They knew him much longer therefore when everything happened, they kind of sided with him. All the guys think I deserved what happened because I was in his face yelling. They all saw the injuries he left on me in person and through photos. I feel like I have this huge stigma attached to me. It's fucked with me a lot.\n\nAlso, without going into much detail, he is *very* well-known for his artwork in the city. People love him and respect him and I see it everywhere and hear people talk about it. I feel like the memory is just always looming around. \n\nPart of me wants me to move but the other part feels like that is weak of me to do. I feel like I should be stronger and not let what he did effect my life so much. Some of them still contact me but I just don't want anything to do with anything related to him. Would it be best to completely cut contact with everyone and just move to a different city? Thank you so much if you have read this.", "summary": "Ex-boyfriend abused me and is well-known in the city I live in. Lost all my friends. Should I just move or try to work through it and triumph over what he did to me?"} {"id": "t3_3wpcit", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [18 F] Three years, Really messed up, she wasn't happy and now she is without me, what do i do?", "post": "So my girlfriend of three years recently asked to go on a break about 2 weeks ago, so being respectful I told her okay. So here I am now, I didn't understand what she meant at first but now I do.\n\nShe says she's been happier without me than with me, and that \"I'm sorry but I don't think we are gunna get back together anytime soon to be honest i'm sorry\"\n\nSo now what do I do? Should i stop trying to communicate with her and move on? I don't want to lose her, I really do love this girl, I just want to have my best friend back. We did everythign together, her mom also passed away from cancer 2 years ago while we were together.\n\nI was not ready to let this all go, but should i? Do i have to stop talkign to her to make her want to come back? please help, thanks guys.", "summary": "Lost my girlfriend, really want her back, don't know what to do at this point, feel like crawling into a ball and dying."} {"id": "t3_xjrgc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it rude to treat someone differently once you find out that they have a significant other?", "post": "I recently started working at a summer internship and naturally began meeting lots of people. Lots of good looking college women to be specific. So here I am, mid flirtatious conversation with the hottest girl in the department when out slips \"my boyfriend...yada yada yada\". I tried not to look immediately disappointed but the smirk slipped right off my face.\n\nNow every time she comes to my desk to talk about what I'm doing on the weekend I keep thinking about how I've been cheated on and don't want to cause any complications. Although I can tell she can tell that I'm being stand off-ish and I'm afraid she thinks I'm being rude. I've stopped complimenting her on how good she looks, stopped IMing her, stopped eating lunch alone together. Is that just the price you pay for being in a relationship? No flirting with the guys at the office? Or am I just being a dick...", "summary": "= I found out a girl I regularly flirt with is spoken for, now I've stopped flirting back. Is that being appropriate or rude?"} {"id": "t3_4f4b53", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why do I [22F] not feel bad going through a breakup with my [25M] boyfriend?", "post": "We were together for about 10 months - a healthy, happy, loving and caring relationship from start to finish - and he recently moved in with me. Ultimately the breakup wasn't very volatile: We want different things in different cities, and don't want to hurt one another by failing to live our truths and become the best people we can be... even though that means separating by thousands of miles, and not being together any more. \n\nOur conversations have been mature and honest, but while he is devastated -- alternately sleeping on the couch and sobbing in my arms -- I am... relieved? And maybe even a little excited, and actively holding myself back from contacting other people I had crushes on during the relationship, all before he's even figured out where he will go when he leaves my apartment. \n\nObviously I've been checked out of the relationship for some time, and have already gone through lots of the grieving process prior to the actual breakup. But I feel like a sociopath for watching someone I loved, and will absolutely always love, be in so much pain while I have yet to even cry (and don't feel like I'm going to). What gives? Am I emotionally stunted, or is the grief only going to hit when he's actually gone, or something else?", "summary": "In the middle of a breakup, he is crushed and I'm just relieved, even though I love and care about him very much. Why?"} {"id": "t3_4dx9nm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (23f) fiance (32m) wants to help support me during college", "post": "I'm a full time student and I work part time as a freelance writer. We are engaged and we have a lot of 24/7 BDSM aspects to our relationship (we are kinky fucks, okay?). He has suggested the idea of me stopping working or cutting way back and focusing on school. He will support me during that time and in return I'll get good grades and graduate on time as well as doing all/most chores and cooking (don't mind at all). He also wants me to coupon, and I'm cool with that. I just feel guilty accepting the help. He really seems like he wants to, and his income can definitely allow for this. Together for 11 months. Wedding next fall.", "summary": "fiance wants to support me during school. He is sincere an makes more than enough money. I feel guilty accepting."} {"id": "t3_15nca9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Do any of you have experience with hypersomnia?", "post": "I'm a 21 year old female, and my husband (who's 22) is tired. He's tired *all* the time. I love him, and I know he's not doing this out of laziness. He's lucky if there are a handful of hours out of the day that he feels alright. Today, for instance, he slept 11 hours last night, and is currently in the midst of a 2-and-a-half hour (so far) nap.\n\nHe's been to the doctor, and he's had his thyroid tested to no avail. He was tested for a testosterone deficiency, and that came up normal as well. His doctor suggested that it may be a shift-work disorder, but offered no help as to what that may entail. He and I have been looking into it hoping to know what questions to ask if he goes back to the doctor (which he's almost sure to do) and it seems like hypersomnia fits the bill. However, that's just what we've been able to investigate, and I know it's always risky to play online-doctor.\n\nI know that hypersomnia has been connected to depression, and he's been treated with chronic depression since he was 18. His father and sister have been treated for he same thing, as well as his father's mother.\n\nI'm sorry for the wall of text, but we're expecting our first child in May and want to know what we're dealing with. We'd also like for my husband to feel better in time to really be able to enjoy his child's life.", "summary": "My husband is tired **all** the time, and we're suspecting that it may be hypersomnia. I'd love it if anybody out there could help me out with some advice or first-hand experience."} {"id": "t3_1rcq31", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My BF [22 M] of 2.5 years [22 F] and in a LDR for 6 months, tells me he's not happy anymore but wants to keep trying...do I wait around for him?", "post": "My boyfriend and I met in college and have been dating for 2.5 years. He's a senior at school now and I graduated and moved away for a job. We've been doing long distance for the past 6 months (and have done long distance successfully in the past) but about 2 months ago he told me he wasn't happy in his life or at school without me there. He's dealt with depression before so I thought it was part of that...but he says now that he just doesn't feel the same excitement/passion in our relationship as he did in the beginning, even when we did long distance the first time. \n\nHe says he wants to do everything he can to try to make it work. He's meeting with a therapist to try to sort through everything and see what it is that's making him feel like this because he says he wants to be happy with me. He says he really wants to be with me and can't imagine his life without me. \n\nI don't feel the way he feels, he still makes me happy and I still have so much fun in our relationship. He's been trying to figure stuff out for 2 months and still nothing's changed, do I keep waiting around for him to figure out if he wants to be with me? We both want the relationship to work so badly. Is it it even possible to get the excitement and passion back in your relationship that you had in the very beginning like he wants? Do you think he'll ever be really happy with me again or has our relationship just run it's course?", "summary": "BF of 2.5 years says he's not happy, but trying to make things work. Do I stick around?"} {"id": "t3_31tzhm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Dating] Me [19 M] with my \"friend\" [19 F] I don't know how to approach this.", "post": "I have known this girl since I was in 6th grade. We went to a small middle school so every knew everyone at that school. I wouldn't say we were good friends just acquaintances. From 6th to 8th we went to school together. \n\nFor high school we went to separate schools and i didn't even talk to her at all during that time.\n\nI am now in college and we happen to go to the same college and live in the same housing building. I see her every once in a while and she'll come up to me and hug me and say hello. We have never had a long conversation just hello and a hug, today she asked my how my day was, idk if i'm reading into but people don't usually ask how your day was unless they are interested. It seems weird for me because we never really talked and she hugs me like we've known each other before. \n\nI want to try and pursue a relationship but i don't want to text her randomly and seem like i just started to text her for a relationship. How can i pursue this girl?", "summary": "Known girl since middle school. Didn't talk to her then. Now in college together. Comes up to me and hugs me every time i see her. Can i pursue her?"} {"id": "t3_2urwnb", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "My [23 M] SO, we have been dating for about 3 months, girlfriend was drunkenly kissed by one of her friends after we were hanging out at a bar.", "post": "SO and I have been dating for about 3 months and it seems like things have been going pretty well.\n\nLast weekend we arranged to meet at a bar in a nearby city(where she lives) for some drinks and we would each bring some friends to make it a social thing. As the night goes on everyone is having a good time but one of her friends is kind of interrogating me, which is fine since she is just looking out for her friend.\n\nMy group, myself and one other, took the bus there since we couldnt find a DD. Once it gets close to 2 my friend starts calling cab companies so we have a plan to get home. Usually I crash at my SOs place but one of her friends was staying over and I didnt want to impose and assume the same with my friend in tow. In retrospect I should have just asked.\n\nI didn't want to be rude and ditch the only person that came with me so we managed to catch the last bus home. SO and I text where she mentions that the interrogating friend liked me until I left and is now super pissed. A few days later SO told me that on their way home interrogating friend, forgot to mention interrogating friend is a female, said \"she deserves someone better\" and kissed her/made out a bit. She said she felt weird and there was no emotion in it, it doesnt mean anything, sometimes that happens when girls get drunk etc....though she told me these things on the phone.\n\nI am seeing her later today and I am still not sure how I feel about the situation. At first I didnt really think too much of it but its started to creep in my head a bit I suppose. My plan is to talk to her about it later in person.\n\nIs this something I should be upset about or chastise myself for being a dumbass and leaving?", "summary": "SO's female friend drunkenly kissed SO after a night at the bar. I went home early so that my friend that joined us got home okay. Not sure how to feel? Could this be a warning sign for other stuff?"} {"id": "t3_15vb48", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (f23) can't talk to my boyfriend (m23) when it really matters.", "post": "We've been dating for a little over a year now and we have a pretty ok relationships. But there are times when we need to talk about our feelings and go into a deep discussion about it. But when this happens I feel my throat closing up and my brain basically shutting down all my vocals. Its like there's a wall over my voice and I cant get around it. I get anxious the second before I do bring myself to try to say something but all I can manage to get out is a small squeak or mumble.\n\nThere are things I do need to tell him but I cant bring myself to say anything. Is there anyway I can work past this that would be easy on me? Cause I really would like to tell him whats on my mind, without my mind blocking me from doing so.", "summary": "I can't talk to my boyfriend about my feelings, how can I get over this so I can tell him how i feel?"} {"id": "t3_2cbsed", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [44 F] mother needs a soulmate [40+ M] after years of emotional abuse from my father.", "post": "Hello, I am here to give Reddit a chance to make my mom happy for the first time in nearly 20 years. I know the internet is full of people who will try to scam or the ones who are only here for their libidos, however I am tired of seeing my mother unhappy and I would appreciate it if you left now if you happen to be one of those people. \n\nI will try to explain what has been going on and hopefully someone here can help me. My mother is 44 and she has been married to basically a psychopath for about 20 years. He is antisocial, and after living with him we are quite sure he suffers from the paranoid personality disorder, but I am unable to help him because he is very ignorant and hateful when it comes to him being the troublemaker. My mother and him had one child, here I am trying to find someone who will respect my mother and show her that she can also be happy.\n\nMy father has been emotionally abusing me and my mother ever since I was very little (abusive lang, making us feel worthless) and also used to sometimes physically abuse my mother where I remember her thumb being broken and many bruises. My mother however has always supported him in every way just because she had thought he would make her happy in the end, also because she didn't have support from anyone else and she couldn't afford to leave him with me. My father has now made her work in another country for 4 years simply because he doesn't want her to be with him. And I am just in the middle, hoping for a miracle for my mothers happiness. \n\nIf you know someone or if you are the one who can help me, please feel free to do so. It would be much appreciated. Also leaving comments such as \"Why doesn't she just divorce?\" Really doesn't help. We are not financially strong enough and it takes too long to get what we deserve. We are trying but we are unsure how things will turn out. \n\nThank you for reading.", "summary": "My mother has been emotionally/physically abused for years and now left alone away from me by my dad. I am looking for someone who can pick her up from the mess and help us be happy. Thank you."} {"id": "t3_3axvig", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [36F] with my spouse [40 M] of 18 years. And two kids. Expensive long-distance family vacation/visit planned in August with my dear in-laws. Breakup may be imminent. How to proceed?", "post": "I love him and he loves me. But I think we're headed for divorce, either in the immediate future or within a year. Nothing is set in stone yet. Nobody outside the relationship knows. We can put a good face on it. When school starts in fall the amount of other business to attend to will skyrocket, and therefore it will be a bad time to be seperating. Also I am not 100% sure. Not 100% sure, and he is very very clear that there will be no trial separation. Once the trigger is pulled, there is no turning back. We have time to be civilized about it now. I want to go on the trip as planned, because we have been looking forward to this and plan to be ticking off a few items on my bucket list. If I don't, I will probably never see my in-laws on this side again. I like them a lot.", "summary": "One last family vacation, the four of us? Or make it the very first kids and dad trip, so soon after dropping a bomb on everyone?"} {"id": "t3_2ovd49", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24/f) hate my crystal addicted brother (35/m), how can I make him stop freeloading off our mom?", "post": "My brother is a despicable scumbag. He just is, there's no way to sugar coat this. It's a fact. He's a habitual liar, he still lives with our mom, he steals money from her and sells her belongings, he doesn't work, and he's an addict. I can't stand this man, being around him for even 5 minutes makes me sick. People can't believe we are related; we are so different. He's an embarrassment to our family, and no one can trust him. Things go missing constantly.\n\nOur mom takes way too much pity on him, tries to keep him happy by giving him everything he wants, and he's simply an ungrateful asshole. My other brother (27/m) detests him as well and wants nothing more to do with him. We hate to see him abusing our mother like this. It's wrong. It's just wrong.\n\nHere's the thing, he doesn't want anyone's help. Our mom is an enabler, and won't make an effort of her own to help him. She just placates him and not much else.\n\nIs there anything I can do? Unlike our brother, me and my (27/m) brother have our own homes and jobs. He (35/m) claims he doesn't need our help and that our mom doesn't see the problem and that WE are the problem instead.", "summary": "Older brother is a meth addict, overstays his welcome, and steals from our mom. What can I do to help?"} {"id": "t3_2g2bes", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21,F] long-distance boyfriend [26,M] of two years is struggling with depression.", "post": "I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. We met a few years ago while doing some volunteer work, now we live in different countries. We've been long distance for the entirety of our relationship, taking time off of work to meet in different places throughout the U.S. to do volunteer work, or in different countries to adventure.\n\nI recently moved from the U.S. to Latin America; I don't have many friends yet, and my Spanish is pretty limited. I feel very disconnected here, though my experience volunteering is quite rewarding. But, after a long day, all I want is to talk to him. I have limited connections to anyone at 'home' because I'm not too sure where 'home' is for me. He is my home, in a sense. \n\nAt year's end, he's leaving his job and meeting me, and we're going to travel for a few months before finding a new home together. He made the decision to go off antidepressants about two months ago, because he felt comfortable, secure and ready. But stressing about 'leaving his life' has caused him to spiral into depression. He wants nothing to do with me, or with anyone for that matter. He doesn't answer my calls. In the past three weeks, we've spoken only a few times, for just a few minutes. \n\nThis has me worried that I've put too much pressure on him. I also went from being comfortable and secure in my relationship to anxious \nand upset nearly all the time. I feel abandoned. Like I had mentioned, I haven't made many friends yet. I feel that my greatest connection (him) is now lost, and I'm not sure where that leaves me. I don't know how to talk to him about this because 1. he won't speak to me for longer than ten minutes, and 2. I don't know how to approach the topic without blaming him for the way I feel. \n\nI'm afraid our relationship is not as strong as I believed it was because of our own mental health issues: my dependency on him in this state of disconnection from my surroundings, and his depression. \nHow do I move on from here?", "summary": "My boyfriend won't talk to me because he is depressed, I am alone in a foreign country and want to talk to him."} {"id": "t3_21krdw", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Difficult situation with the girl [F/16] I'm interested in [M/16]", "post": "There's a girl in my high school that i'm interested in, she's in 3 of my classes but we don't talk to eachother much. Let's call her Carly. We aren't directly in any same friend groups so the only time we ever see eachother is during class. We have the occasional class-related chat and a few jokes here and there, but mostly we don't talk. (We're both pretty quiet, but she's shy)\n\nThe part where it gets complicated is here, she has a best friend who i'm closer with, and we talk a bit. Let's call her Jen. All three of us are in the same class, and Jen speaks her mind quite often. Going on for about 2 weeks now, Jen says Carly and I would be a perfect couple. (Mind you all three of us are in audible whisper range) Jen says it quite loudly, and I know Carly acknowledges it but doesn't say anything and neither do I, pushing it aside as a tease. Coincidentally, and neither of them know them know i'm interested in Carly - or at least I think so. \n\nNow given the circumstance, i'm not extremely close with Jen, we talk about general things and have a lot of mutual friends, but i've never talked to her about relationships or any \"internal\" things before. I could directly ask her, but i'm trying to avoid things from getting too awkward, considering Jen and Carly are best or at least really close friends. As I said, Carly is extremely shy so approaching her would make her or both of us uncomfortable.", "summary": "The girl i'm interested in's best friend says we'd be a perfect couple. I'm not sure what do in this situation, and i'm avoiding asking her best friend for advice. (Complications elaborated in post)"} {"id": "t3_11yvt4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ex-girlfriend (24F) wants to hang out with me (24M), but I'm in a relationship (23F)", "post": "I used to date this girl I met in my freshman year in college. She was of the \"overly attached\" type. She wasn't just jealous of my female friends but complained I hung out too much with my male friends as well. I was already feeling smothered when somehow she got this idea that I was cheating on her with one of my classmates, which I never did. Naturally, she tried to install a hidden camera in my room. And that was the straw that broke the camel's back.\n\nA while later, the classmate and I started dating and she is now my current girlfriend. For my ex, this of course confirmed her suspicions. Needless to say, the two of them do not like each other. Eventually the ex got a new boyfriend, and with both of us in relationships, we went back on speaking terms. After she graduated, she moved with the new boyfriend to his hometown. We kept in touch.\n\nToday, my ex called me. I knew it wasn't good because she hadn't called me in a very long time. She's a wreck, and according to her, her BF is cheating on her so they broke up. I don't know the other guy so I can't get the other side of the story. I have my doubts. Being the impulsive type, she took a week off from her job and decided to come here (surprise, surprise!) to \"clear her head.\" Now this isn't exactly a nice place to visit. So I asked her why here and reminded her that I was in a relationship. She shrugs me off and says she does have friends here other than me, which is true. \n\nMy GF of two years is very hands-off (if you want to tell me, I'll listen; if you don't, it's fine). I haven't told her any of this yet. Should I tell her anything at all? When my ex does come here, should I avoid her? I feel that the least I could do is to offer her some support. But given our history, being with someone who just got out of a relationship doesn't strike me as particularly wise. If I do avoid her, would that be an overreaction?", "summary": "Ex-girlfriend breaks up with BF, wants to come to town and hang out. Not sure if anything good can come out of this."} {"id": "t3_x7p10", "subreddit": "Cooking", "title": "Fried Banana Peppers", "post": "Hi, all. My crop of banana peppers have finally started to come in, and I am going to have a CONSIDERABLE amount the whole summer long (I bought 40 plants for $6 and they all lived; some hot, some sweet).\n\nMy main question I would like to ask pertains to battered n' fried banana peppers. My mother attempted them a few years back and they failed. Miserably. The batter didn't stick and when it did it was so thin it couldn't be tasted or felt. Now, I did not assist her in her endeavor, so I don't know exactly what she did to find where she went wrong. So, dear chefs, how do you all go about making fried banana peppers? It should be noted that I own a deep fryer.\n\nSide question: what should I do with the rest of my peppers? I need ideas because I'm not about to let all these peppers go to waste. Trust me: I'll have enough to do whatever I need to do to them.", "summary": "I need a fried banana pepper method as well as other pepper recipes for a large volume of peppers. Thank you all!"} {"id": "t3_2o78s7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [23f] branch out from my 3-year boyfriend [24m]?", "post": "My problem is that I don't feel I have any friends besides my boyfriend and his friends that he brings around. None of his friends are people that I do/would text with or meet up to hang out. That means all social gatherings that I attend are set up by my boyfriend, or I'm going as his partner.\n\nA year into our relationship, he told me that he wanted me to hang out with more people besides him. I see the wisdom in that, and I tried rekindling some old high school friendships, but those fizzled very quickly and he never raised it as a problem again.\n\nI realize you can't make a home out of a human being. I don't whine when he goes places without me and I encourage him to go to clubs and events by himself. However, we're 3 years into our relationship now, living together, and I work the typical 8-5 corporate schedule (with adults much older and harder to relate with). I feel that this setup has encouraged complacency and has made it so much easier to be okay living without friends. I've also tried messaging some people on local Reddits/Craigslist but I can never go through with meeting them once the topic comes up. It might be worthwhile to mention I am very introverted and generally content to be alone (though that might be the last few years speaking too).\n\nHow can I take pressure off of him and develop a healthy social life? I don't want this to be the clincher for our relationship. All advice is appreciated.", "summary": "3 years into relationship, and I don't have friends or a life outside of it. I feel this puts unfair pressure on my boyfriend. How do I fix this?"} {"id": "t3_2m6qjv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend (26f) of 4 years and myself (29m) broke up almost two months ago. I still can't get her off my mind.", "post": "Hello everyone, \nMy girlfriend and I were together for almost four years, short of about a month. We had been going through some really hard times the last two years of our relationship. I was dealing with alot of stress, I'm an introvert she's and extrovert. I thought all of my stress was coming from problems I had at work but now I look back and see that some of it also came from her. She wouldn't do things I asked her that seemed trivial like texting me at night so I can see it in the morning. I know it might sounds dumb to some of you but she was always the first thing I thought about when I got up and the last thing when I went to sleep. \n\nI tried to do everything I could to make her happy and nothing felt like it was working. For Year and a half I slowly watched her drift away, we wouldn't communicate our problems to each other I was afraid I'd push her further away from me. After we broke up some of our friends told me she spoke to them more about her problems with me than she did to me. \n\nNow for the breakup. We decided we were going to take a week apart and see how we felt. Well she tried to turn a week into two because she was too busy to talk to me. I think this was just because she was scared to say what she decided. I basically told her I couldn't wait anymore that it was eating me alive so she then broke up with me in a text message but said sorry she thought I deserved better than that, later on in a phone call she said I wasn't going anywhere in life which really hurt me. I see her all the time and she ignores me but hangs around the group I'm with I can't get her off my mind. I've hit the gym picked up playing darts not much is working.", "summary": "gf of four years broke up with me via text message I see her all the time at the bar and I can't stop thinking of her. "} {"id": "t3_1qvjgm", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Can someone please help me with engagement etiquette?", "post": "I recently bought an engagement ring for my girlfriend. She knows about it because, I asked her to pick it out with me but... I want to plan an intimate proposal to surprise her (plus she doesn't know I already paid for it in full). We both felt strongly about wanting to get through the holidays with our families without announcing an engagement and we both felt the holidays should just be about family time and then we could start wedding planning in the new year. The problem is my cousin is going on a trip to Disney win his girlfriend for a week in January and I am not sure if he is going to propose to her. I want to ask him if he is and try and accommodate him. I don't want to propose first and steal his thunder or propose right afterwards and steal his thunder, but I don't want to push back until February, my girlfriend has several family birthdays and I know she thinks Valentine's day proposals are silly. But she doesn't want to upset my cousin's girlfriend either. His girlfriend is really sensitive and recently our friends and family has all sort of ganged up on him about how awful his girlfriend is, I respect his relationship even if his girlfriend is sort of overbearing especially when it comes to things like this. What do you think the best solution is? I am worried he will try and ask me to postpone longer fort he sake of his girlfriend's vanity. Our family calls her princess because she needs to have her own way 24/7 and is very bossy. I don't want to detract from the holidays or his relationship but I am really keen on proposing ASAP in January. Is this a big deal? What do I do?", "summary": "worried about proposing either right before or right after my cousin proposes, what should I do? His girlfriend is very sensitive?"} {"id": "t3_3lpt89", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Feelings of guilt/shame? Developed deeper feelings for a friend (28M) I (25F) see frequently and how his friend (29M) factors into it. (Love triangle?)", "post": "Don't know how to explain this easily but I'll try my best to make this concise. Started sleeping with Ron (29M) in Feb of this year --he lives 5 hours away and we have been able to see each other once every month or every other month. Long distance with no dating -- Ron says he is unable to start anything serious, there are romantic feelings but to not hang myself up on him. \n--Last relationship was 3 years of \"nothing serious\" with Walt (21-24 yr old M) ending in 2014 and leaving me heartbroken. So with Ron, I've used the physical distance to keep myself emotionally distant. However, I am not 100% sure how he feels due to our distance and not really knowing him. \nRon is very sweet but there is no promise of future commitment and communication is infrequent between periods of seeing each other. Ended up meeting up with a close friend of his (28 M) in my city and starting a friendship since February. Meet ups became more frequent (28M) and I --especially in the last two months of infrequent dialogue between Ron (29M) and I. \n\nDid not plan on acting on any of my emotions. I talked with (28M) briefly and decided I needed to talk to R (29M). However, I felt very uncomfortable with all of this since my feelings towards 28M were hesitant and uncomfortable to process at first. 28M and I made out on an outing and I have already told 29M about the incident. I am however at a loss: I have been crying over 29M and our lost relationship but also trying to acknowledge its inability to be considered such. I know I have lost my relationship with 29M forever. I have feelings for 28M but am reluctant to act as I can see this as further twisting the knife for 29M and also the feelings I have for 28M are difficult for me to acknowledge and not be ashamed of - it feels wrong/taboo.", "summary": "Uncommitted long distance (7 months?) with a 29M ruined by my actions: making out with his 28M friend in my city who I grew reluctantly close to. "} {"id": "t3_3zd73j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[24F] relationship with my BF [28M] of 3 months feels more like a FWB.", "post": "Sorry but this will be a long post. I am a long time lurker and first time poster so forgive me for my mistakes.\n\nMy boyfriend and I come from very different backgrounds and lead different lives. He is going to graduate school and I am a college drop out working a retail job. When we first began to date I felt a bit intimidated and conscious about what I lacked but decided to ignore it because he was such a nice guy and I really like him. \n\nFast forward a month into our relationship and my fears are brought up again after our first time having sex. He brought up this worry to me and I didn't take it well, he quickly tried to take it back when he was how emotional I got. We talked about how he was worried we might not have much in common besides our sexual kinks and hobbies.(A worry I also had but.) What hurt me the most was that he mentioned I was not what he pictured for himself but he thought I might be the best he could do. He mentioned he wanted to be able to talk about academic topics since academia is such a big part of his life.It was all brought out and we talked and he said it was my choice whether we should continue to see each other since he really wanted to continue seeing whether or not feeling developed between us. I decided to continue dating and seeing where it lead us. \n\nSo now it's been another month and my fears haven't gone away. Everytime we meet we always have sex or talk about sex. (We do talk about our friends and families...our lives.) I know I like him more than he does and that is fine but I am unsure if he likes me just enough to have sex with me or for more.\n\nI have decided to go to school again and I hope it helps with my confidence but how do I stop worrying? I think the biggest issue is that I don't know what he feels towards me. He hasn't introduced me to any of his friends and most of our 'dates' are in his apartment. Am I over thinking things or should I talk to.him? Better yet how do I talk to him without seeming clingy.", "summary": "How do I know that sex isnt the only thing keeping our relationship together? He hasn't introduced me to his friends after 3 months of dating exclusively. Should I be worried?"} {"id": "t3_17stzu", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Special education for special friends", "post": "Me: 23 years old male. Very little experience (A few dates, no touching)\n\nHer: 21 female\n\nBoth of us our university students.\n\nAfter hanging out some/coffee we went rock climbing, and had fun, and she suggested doing more things together. The next time we met we went on a walk to a park, and I tried hand holding but was rebuffed. \n\nI made the novice mistake of assuming that having a successful datelike interaction meant we were in a relationship. It was my first try at touching someone else, which I am happy about. Her response was that she wasn't ready as she didn't know me well enough.\n\nWe spent some more time together and had an interesting conversation about our status, and how we both like each other some, but not a whole lot. (I am not crushing hard, neither is she) She suggested \"we do things several times a week, no need to do something everyday, and maybe do something fun on the weekend if you have plans\". However, she was also pretty reticent about some things which implied a further level of trust, like the invitation to come over to my home and play board games w/ my roommates, and did not like the idea of going out an explicit \"date\".\n\nShe calls me often just to talk, so I'm just quite confused as to whether or not I have been \"friend zoned\". I feel like I have been \"special friend zoned.\" I do not know if she is expecting me to escalate this/giving me the opportunity to, or if that is out of the question and would be deemed an awkward breach of trust. In the past I have been rejected with the addendum of \"You're awesome, please continue to be my friend and don't move on to other hobbies/people\" and I do not know if this is a similar case.", "summary": "Frank girl sets boundaries that suggest lots of time spent together, calls me lots, but does not want to go on a date, Just friends or special friends?"} {"id": "t3_iuwp4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My GF is mad at me because I wouldn't leave my friends last night, I need some advice on how to make this better", "post": "So my girlfriend and I are both 22 and seniors in college, we have only been dating for a few months now. She had a terrible day yesterday and I asked her multiple times if she wanted me to come down to her place, which she essentially shrugged off. I went over to friends place instead, and while over there she decided she did want me to come down. I told her I was with friends now and couldn't. This is something I feel very strongly about, trying to balance time with my friends and time with her. \n\nShe's the first serious relationship I've been in while in college and I do love her, I just don't want to set a precedent of just up and leaving my friends every time she suddenly wants me to come over, I care too much about them to alienate them like that. So we've been fighting all morning about it and I just don't know how to show her that she's important, but so are my friends. \n\n1) Am I completely in the wrong? \n2) Do I stand my ground on this?\n3) What do I say to her?\n\nThanks", "summary": "girlfriend is pissed that I didn't want to leave my friends last night when she changed her mind about wanting me to come over."} {"id": "t3_17g05h", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what piece of writing, or art have you churned out that you're most proud of?", "post": "Leave us with a little bit of context and why you're so proud of what you've produced.\n\nPersonally, I wrote a letter to my girlfriend. She asked me why I love her a few months ago, and I was never quite able to put it into words, until i sat down and forced myself to.\n\nHowever, about 3 days ago, I found out she was fucking some other dude. It hurts to looks at this letter, but the raw emotion i felt while writing this out was so powerful, that I decided at least a few other people should see it. \n\n\"Conniving bitch,\n\nYou're tough to handle, unpredictable, a picky eater, have the capacity to drive me insane, stubborn, and from time to time a real pain in my ass.\n\nBut I wouldn't have it any other way.\n\nThere's times where I feel helpless, confused, and alone. I feel beaten, broken, and defeated.\n\nBut you still make me smile.\n\nYou've been told from the start that I'm not worth the time or effort. That I'm a nobody and that's all I'll ever be. That I'm a loser and that's all I'll ever be. That I'm a quitter, cheater, liar, thief... and that's all I'll ever be.\n\nBut you still believe in me.\nYou still trust me.\nYou still have faith in me.\n\nThat's why I love you.\"\n\nAdded in the \"Conniving Bitch\" because it felt right.", "summary": "Wrote a letter to the girl i loved. She was a Susan. Was proud of my work and wanted someone else to see it. Hope you guys come back with some powerful writings, or works of art of your own."} {"id": "t3_u27ck", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "In light of the other one, what is the most degrading thing you've paid for?", "post": "When I was a teenager I was the first of my friends to have a job, and thus money. I was also quite prone to jealousy with my then girlfriend and actually paid one of my friends to not flirt with her and start treating her with indifference. I also paid another one of my friends to be nice to her because he tended to be very rude to her. I tried to justify it by pretending that it was a pride free way to give them money around christmas because they didn't have any.\n\nWhen I was even younger, maybe 8 or 9, I offered a girl (around the same age) at school $20 to play \"you show me yours I show you mine\". She agreed and went first. Not only did I not pay her, I also didn't show mine. I actually ran into her years later when I did have money and for a split second considered giving her the money because I felt bad. Thankfully I realize instantly how insulting it would have been.", "summary": "Paid friends to treat my girlfriend like friends should, may have turned another girl onto a very dark path filled with empty promises."} {"id": "t3_335g3o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23F] don't know whether to help my neighbor [70?F] with her problem", "post": "To start off with, last Fall I moved to a larger city for school and bought a house. This is the first time I will be living without roommates or parents, so I'm not always sure of how the city works (I used to live in the country). \n\nMy neighbor Joy is an elderly woman who lives with her son Mark. Mark is quiet and has helped me with some things, like letting me borrow his ladder, letting me know when trash go out or when leaves get picked up. Mark works 12-14 hour shifts, so Joy is left alone most of the day. The times she has come over to my house she doesn't leave for hours and talks about inappropriate conversations for having just met someone, like politics, religion, sex, and how Obama is ruining the country because Fox News told her so. I have put up with it because I assume she is very lonely and just wants someone to talk to, but she makes me very uncomfortable. \n\nShe called me the other day and told me she has cancer and needs someone to take her to doctor appointments. She goes on to say Mark usually does but summer time is when he works even more and she doesn't want him to take so much time off. I told her I have summer classes and work so I am going to be busy. She says the doctors could work around my schedule. I am feeling like I can't say no because I'm helping Mark out with this as well, but I really don't want to spend that much time with her. Additionally, I have no idea how many appointments I would need to take her to, or how often they would be. If it matters, I believe she has skin cancer, and it's not life threatening at all.", "summary": "Lonely old lady has cancer and wants me to drive her to doctor appointments this summer. I am busy with school and work, but want to help her son who has helped me in the past."} {"id": "t3_3ky52u", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by underestimating my puppy, who really wanted my Oreos.", "post": "About 5 minutes ago I grabbed 3 oreos and sat on the couch to eat them. My Doberman puppy climbed up onto the couch as well and started sniffing around and trying to get at the oreos in my hand. I pushed him away and started having fun with it. I ate them where he could see and said \"YOU GET NOTHING\".\n\nWell I ate the first two and was still chewing, when my puppy decided to maul my closed hand to try and get at the third oreo. He became a 30 pound ball of malice and bit down on my knuckles. I tried to yell at him to tell him no, and started choking on what was already in my mouth. He then let go of my hand hopped into my lap, and slithered his tongue into my half open, gasping mouth and actually may have saved my life by making me stand up and heave it all out. \n\nI still had Oreo number three in my hand, and he knew it, so he jumped up one last time and engulfed my entire fist in his sharp needle like, puppy toothed jaws. Forcing me to crush said oreo, and allowing him to eat some of it. And making me spit liquified oreo all over the coffee table. He both nearly killedand saved my life. But I will never tease him with food again. I swear he has an IQ of 150, and uses it for evil.", "summary": "my dog made me choke on oreos, then ruined my last good one. He french kissed me in the process as well."} {"id": "t3_y4bm4", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not getting into a bar", "post": "Ok, this happened last night. \n\nIt was my best friends 20th birthday, and as per usual, we all went for a night on the town hitting into a few bars. So everything was great, got through the first few bars in no time, consuming a fair amount of alcohol. This as you might have guessed will ultimately be my downfall. \n\nWe went to queue up to go into this next bar, in the middle of the main street. I was probably 3rd in line, ahead of me was my best friend and his girlfriend. From earwigging, I can hear him and her joking around with the bouncer that checked everyone's ID's, especially about her female parts. So, a clever idea popped into my head. Then there I was, him checking my ID. \n\nMe: \"Do you want to hear the hardest question in the world?\"\n\nBouncer: \"Go on then\"\n\nMe: \"Would you rather sleep with your mum to save your dad's life, or sleep with your dad to save your mum's life?\"\n\nWithout a doubt, he decided to not let me in, push me to the ground in a forceful manner (with many onlookers), shouting \"Don't talk about my mum like that.\" As a result, there I was, standing outside waiting about an hour outside the bar, like an idiot, on my own for all my friends to come out. They particularly took longer in there because of my presence outside, not to mention it was a cold night. My best friend decided to even say \"Thanks for screwing up on my birthday bro\" at the end.", "summary": "didn't get let into a bar on my best friend's birthday because I told the bouncer a dark humoured joke."} {"id": "t3_16j1ku", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What can I [21M] do for my girlfriend [20F] while shes in another country for school?", "post": "So backtrack to the beginning of the Christmas break and I start to see this girl I had liked in the past a bit more seriously. We were both a litte hesitant to get into a relationship because shes spending the year abroad for her schooling.\n\nBut the week before she leaves we decide to take the leap and become exclusive. For the next week we pretty much spend every waking moment together. This obviously makes us go crazy for one another, everything is perfect, its got me appreciating every moment with her, every breath, everytime she breaks her eyes from mine to look down and smile because of how happy she is.\n\nBut the time came when we had to say see you later (cause theres no goodbyes in this story) and we obviously decide that we're gonna stay together even though we cant see eachother for the next 5 months. But theres BBM, skype, mail, etc... so in reality the best part of her is still here with me.\n\nSo what Im asking is what are some things I can do for her while being in another country? Visiting is a nono cause the cost of flights alone is an entire year of school for me. I just wanna make her happy and feel special for the next 5 months. Im willing to do whatever it takes. I dont know if this will help but Ive been writing for a long time and was thinking of writing some pieces for her.", "summary": "My GF is in another country for 5 months because of school. How do I continue to make her feel special and do nice things for her."} {"id": "t3_1y14vt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my [26 F] short, fast love online", "post": "This is more of a rant, but feedback appreciated. I met a woman online a couple of months ago and we chatted at first only about things of a sexual nature, roleplayed etc. Soon after, we became what I thought is emotionally involved with one another. We'd talk every night usually and were in the process of making plans to meet (we live a 2 hour plane ride apart). \n\nI had made the assumption things were going great, and we had a very open relationship with honesty and the openness to say anything to each other. I heard this woman cry over things, chatted while she cooked, cleaned or whatever. I really feel for this woman and have never felt this way about anyone, even when I dated my ex for 7 years. \nOver the past week, she has gotten extremely busy at work and hasn't had much time to chat (we texted fairly frequently during this time). Now, over the last couple of days, I asked her to be my valentine (she said yes) and then I had to go so the conversation ended. I texted her a bit on V-day and got a few responses and suddenly I haven;t heard anything. I've called and gone to the answering machine, sent a few texts and haven't gotten a response.\n\nNow, I feel like I am maybe just being too needy, but its such a drastic change from what was the norm for us, I feel the right to know whats going on. I know \"the internet is the internet arguments\" but I don't find them valid. Am I just being ignorant to what is going on or is it fair to assume something has happened to prevent our communication?", "summary": "Feel incredibly strong towards girl I met online and things have changed recently. Am i just being a worry-wort?"} {"id": "t3_3qakdc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25M] am 6'4\", and I can't bring myself to go out with shorter women. Can't find the tall ones as well. Should I drop this illusion of finding what I want?", "post": "I know this is beyond dumb, and I know that height is simply a physical trait.... I can't help but want someone tall. I don't like the need to bend down so much to hug, or even interact with that person as its just too much of a strain/pain in general.\n\nThat being said. I live in Toronto, and I don't see any tall women at all. Before any one asks, I consider tall to be 5'10\"+ as heels do make a difference if they were to wear them which isn't mandatory for me at all.\n\nI've tried online dating, and I had some luck finding taller women but no one I was attracted to.", "summary": "I'm tall, I want my gf to be tall, can't find any women that are tall, and I would rather not go out with shorter women. What to do? Am I being way too picky?"} {"id": "t3_2n5f3m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I need help", "post": "I (23m) and my SO (20f) have been dating for almost two years now. Ive done logging, military, theater, bartending, etc etc and never met a girl like her in my life. She's smart, gorgeous, interesting, but she continues to ruin my hallmark events. On my mothers huge 45th b day ladt year she got anxious and left the party to sleep In the car. At my birthday we got into a huge fight about living quarters (we were let go as we were moving and had to spend a month with my parents) ((stressful I know)) and she left the house as I begged her to stay. This story repeats itself over and over in our relationship; everything is fine and then she flakes out or freaks out over some social activity I want to participate in. I've started planning ahead, trying new things, surprising her, even letting her work her way into it. She still ends up either bailing pre event or mid event. \nThat is who she is though, and I cant fault her for who she is. I obviously had expectations along the way and those always fuck shit up....but....is her not being able to share important moments with me a reasonable issue to leave the love of my current life over? Am I being a bitch? Should I just keep trying to work with her for our mutual love or do her actions truly speak louder than her tear ladden words? I don't want to leave her since we share a home, but our lease ends jan 1st and I feel like It might be healthier for us to work within our comfort zones. \nI'm fucking torn and feeling weak and vulnerable and unimportant and I'm hoping someone on here has advice.", "summary": "My incredible partner wont share big moments or celebrations with me and gives in to her own anxiety no matter what the event is or what I do to work with her."} {"id": "t3_4q4qf1", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I(17M) am not sure what is going on with a girl (18F)", "post": "So to start off the first time I talked to this girl was 2 months ago in one of our classes, but we've known each other for about 9 months. We were assigned a group together and joked around throughout the class. She gave me her snapchat but nothing else happened from there.\n\nLast Friday I saw she posted she watches Brickleberry on Snapchat so I sent her a message joking about it. We talked a little throughout the day but nothing major. I knew she liked to smoke and I do occasionally so I brought up that I only watch the show when high. She didn't know I smoked and was suprised and said we should hang out sometime.\n\nLater that night I started flirting with her, you know commenting she looked great, I'd buy her flowers anytime, etc. She said it was crazy that I was saying those things because she had a crush on me back in class. We talked a lot the rest of the night, but the next day when we started texting, she only responded twice and didn't message again. She was responding to my Snaps, but not to my text. I didn't want to annoy her so I didn't send anything else.\n\nThen on Sunday I texted her again and the same thing happened, but this time she hasn't been responding to my snaps. I'm not sure if she was just super busy on the weekend and didn't want to talk, or if she changed her mind about talking to me. Any tips?", "summary": "Talked to a girl a lot on Friday and she admitted to having a crush on me. She didn't respond much on Saturday and even less on Sunday. Is something wrong?"} {"id": "t3_eva8c", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Time to quit law school? (x-post from r/law for a wider audience)", "post": "I started going to law school part-time in Fall 2008. I only went part-time so I could keep my full-time job as an intellectual property paralegal. Although this did not give me the greatest amount of time to study, I did pretty well. Generally, it takes 3 semesters to complete one \"year\" of school.\n\nI tried to quit after the second semester because I realized I don't really want to work as hard as many associates are required to in order to make the big $$$. It's just not that important to me. My husband disagreed; I know he's mostly interested in me becoming an atty b/c he thinks it will make us rich.\n\nAlthough I thought my husband (who really wanted kids) and I (who was on the fence) agreed to wait until after I finished school to have children, I somehow became pregnant at the end of my second semester (Spring 2009). My son was born in February of this year. I took one week off from school (and 6 weeks from work).\n\nI tried yet again to quit for the same reasons as above AND because I needed to be with my child.\n\nBut sigh, I just went to part-time work and even less hours at school. I made moot court and journal. This past semester was HELL. And my husband has apparently lost all interest in anything I do, but still says he depends on me to \"make us rich.\"\n\nI will be a 3L at the end of the upcoming semester. With summer school, I should be able to graduate in May 2012. Even though I kept working, I still have significant school loans.\n\nAt this point, I am still leaning towards quitting despite the loans I already have. By staying in, I am promising myself more unhappiness as I continue in school, more despair when I am actually a lawyer, and even greater debt. But, it also seems incredibly silly to stop now when I am relatively close to graduating.\n\nWhat do you think?", "summary": "Almost 2/3 through law school, want to quit anyway, despite loans already accrued b/c I can't stand the idea of being a lawyer. Is this a good idea?"} {"id": "t3_rxbyn", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Completely a 'first world problem', but dammit, I need help deciding what to do!", "post": "OK, so I took a few years off school after I graduated high school, went to college for 2 years, then took a year off to travel, and now I'm back. In my major, I'm expected to get a summer job relating to my major this year, and it's a graduation requirement. However, I could push it back and travel again this summer and just do the job later on before I graduate.\n\nI'm really caught up in the whole 'live in the moment' mentality, and I feel like if I don't take every single moment available where I could be traveling before I'm 30 with a real job, I'm gonna have regret later on. I was abused growing up, and I feel like I missed out on a lot of living, so now I feel like I have to live 'extra' to make up for it. At the same time, if I take the summer off, my advisor is probably going to be quite frustrated with me due to how much time I've already taken off, and I'm getting mildly old to still be an undergrad. I think she already sort of hates me for my 'slacking'...even though I do have a 4.0. Oh, and one other important thing-the summer job that's available is sort of horrible. I feel like if I take this job, and have it on my resume later on, I'll be completely typecast as someone who only does this position.", "summary": "Should I take a professional summer job, which is completely expected of me, or spend my summer traveling? What's the mature answer to this dilemma?"} {"id": "t3_2rha4t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My bf (24) Doesn't Feel the same anymore and asked for a break...", "post": "M(24) F (24) Boyfriend of 2 years wants a break because we have been arguing a lot... he said he doesn't want to feel tired anymore and that he just doesn't feel the same anymore.. that hopefully with this break and us working on our issues separately he can feel un-tired and choose if he wants to be with me or not.. I tried breaking up with him because I didn't think I could handle a break he said only do it if that's what my heart wants and what would make me happy.. that what he wants is time to determine our relationship.. how should I feel? is this relationship even salvageable at this point? should I go no contact until he decides?", "summary": "Boyfriend asked for break after lots of arguing.. said he doesn't feel the same anymore and wants to use this time to determine if he wants to continue relationship. do I go no contact? is this relationship even salvageable?"} {"id": "t3_2wi4eg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 F] with my husband [33 M] of 10 years. He's Thoughtless and Forgetful about Special Occasions **tl;dr**: How do you get them to care about gift buying?", "post": "Married ladies, I'm having what seems to be a long term issue and I'd like to know if this is common. My husband of 10 years seems to have real trouble remembering our special life occasions (anniversary, birthdays, etc). In the event he does remember, he seems to put little thought into the gifts he gives to me.\n \n\nI'm certain that I'm not alone in this. However, it feels like if he cared more that he would try harder and want to bring that extra spark to our relationship we had when dating (he was great then). \n\nI have the following questions for all of you married couples: \n\n1) Who tends to be the one that remembers these occasions you or your spouse? (Please provide genders)\n\n2) Do they typically find you a gift that is something you really wanted or do you find most of the time it misses the mark? \n\n3) How do you go about making this better? Would you consider it 'cheating' if you gave them hints or helped them understand what you are looking for?", "summary": "How do you get your significant other to care enough to put thought into what they get you for your special life celebrations?"} {"id": "t3_wqmyw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit: my male friend got a yeast infection from his idiot girl-friend. Whats the worst thing you know that has happened due to uneducated idiots being, well, uneducated idiots?", "post": "I had a friend of mine, who dated this girl for two years. She would admit to never wearing underwear, which when someone is in a skirt and is very attractive can be a turn on; however, she only ever wore pants. So about six months after these two break up, my buddy and i are in walmart and I notice he keeps scratching his balls. I asked him what was up and he said that for two and a half years his balls had itched constantly and he figured he was just sweaty.\n\nThen I put two and two together. He would go down on her, kiss her, she would go down on him, kiss him ... etc. Then he admits she always had a strong odor and would sometimes have a chunky residue on her lips. \n\nWell I started laughing at the poor kid and asked him to stick out his tongue and it was whiter than snow in Alaska ...\n\nI informed him that he had a yeast infection not only on his genitals but also on in his mouth (thrush). I told him to go to his doctor and get the pill that clears it up. He cried. I put my hand on his shoulder and said, \"don't worry, this is one STI that can be cured.\"", "summary": "Friend's girl had a yeast infection and didn't know it and transferred it to him and he didn't know it for two and half years."} {"id": "t3_2yb77b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28F] with my aunt[57F]: How do you reconnect with a family member you haven't spoken to in years?", "post": "Growing up, I was raised with the value that family is an important source of support and love. Although my immediate family didn't live close to any of my other relatives, my mom always made sure that my sister and I had a chance to regularly visit her side of the family, and so I got to grow up with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, even though they were far away. My mom made sure that we stayed in touch, and it's something that I'll always value about my childhood, even if some parts of it got rough. My dad, however, didn't really talk too much about his family. By the time I came around, there was only my grandmother, and my dad's sister and her husband. They lived really far away, so I only ever got to see my grandma twice before she passed away. My aunt lived in the same area, so I didn't see her much, either. \n\nFlash back to ten years ago, and my dad is killed in an accident. My aunt and uncle come up for the funeral, and we're all in grief and shock, but other than that we were effectively strangers, connected by being the only ones left of my dad's family. After my dad died, my aunt kept in touch with my sister and I for a little while, but it petered off after a year or so. I know, though, that my sister has stayed in pretty regular contact with her, and I feel a bit guilty about not keeping up myself. I let it slip away being overwhelmed by college, and never really reached out. I'd like to change that, and start to have a relationship with her again. I want to know more about her, about where my family comes from. I just don't know what to say. I do have her address and contact info, at least. How do you reconnect with someone you haven't spoken to in years and know practically nothing about? Any help would be very much appreciated.", "summary": "I want to reconnect with my aunt, but she lives really far away, I know almost nothing about her, and have no idea how to start. How do you family?"} {"id": "t3_3etj9u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I was happier when I was ignorant of sex", "post": "Right now my friend is having sex with a F buddy lady friend. The other night his friends posted pictures of him on social media of him grinding his other interested lady friend.\n\nNone of my friends growing up ever talked about sex. In my family it was a taboo subject, and never mentioned or insinuated. So I never grew up knowing about it.\n\nSo here I am, a virgin in my 30's, and there's a friend in my life that has made me realize that I'm missing out on all of this.\n\nBut here's the thing that really ticks me off... He's a slob and an asshole, but a very good looking guy (could be a model). Me, I'm skinny, told I'm not very attractive, and clean and polite.\n\nLast summer his lawn mower broke, so I offered to mow for him. So I'm outside mowing, when he comes rushing back home and a few minutes a lady friend pulls up and goes inside as well. It takes me over an hour to mow, and they never come out. Later I realized (stupid me) that they were inside having sex. Ok, someone who doesn't take any initiative to even mow his damn lawn gets a hookup, and the one who is working hard to keep things clean and presentable has a 30+ year dry spell. I even have to clean the house for him because he apparently doesn't care about the 2 inches of dog hair all over the place. And neither do his F buddies, either.\n\nThat doesn't seem fair.\n\nI guess nice guys always finish last.", "summary": "friend's actions reminds me that I'm too nice of a guy and I'm never sought for either a relationship or a hookup."} {"id": "t3_odlcs", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Severely depressed girlfriend, needs help. What can i do?", "post": "My girlfriend is having a lot of emotional issues lately. She calls me nearly every night deeply upset, it usually takes me an hour or two to calm her down. She wants to seek medical help, meaning a therapist, or a counselor of some sort. Her parents have agreed sort of, but have taken no action. I am worried because it has gotten to the point to where she is severely depressed and thinks about hurting herself and throwing up sometimes because she doesnt feel good enough, she just as of a few months ago got over a eating disorder. I want to get her the help she needs but i obviously cant pay for it by myself. I dont know what i can do.", "summary": "serverely depressed gf, needs help from a therapist or doctor but her parents wont help, what can i do?"} {"id": "t3_2weoqo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20/F] with my boyfriend [21/ M] 18 month relationship, don't have time for each other and it's ruining my feelings for him!", "post": "I'm a 20 year old female who's currently in a 18 month relationship with my boyfriend. We've had a pretty stable relationships (lots of fights) but we've learned to settle them and make up. Lately, I've been really down because we both have very busy schedules (school, work and gym) and we barely talk/see each other. \n\nMy problem is that we have the same schedule (5 days school, 2 days work and gym whenever we can) and I make time for him almost anytime I can. I usually bring up when I am going to see him next or what dates I plan. I have a bigger homework load than him but I have been making time for him since I've been in school (I'm 2 years ahead of him). \n\nNow that we're in the middle of February, we see each other maybe once or twice a week. The thing is - we barely talk; whether it is a simple phone call or just texting. (for example: I've asked for a 10 minute phone call at the end of the day just to talk if we haven't talked all day. He doesn't seem to reply or understand that I want to talk to him during the weeks we don't really see each other. I've told him several times and we've talked about it, I've even cried and sobbed this out to him but nothing has changed. I don't know what to do anymore and I can't really turn to anyone because I don't want to bother other people with my problems. :/ \n\nI'm beginning to feel distant from him and it hurts me because I really want this to work out. I know he loves me a lot too but I don't know how to handle this anymore.", "summary": "SO and I barely see each other or talk. SO doesn't do anything about it after talking to him several times. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_3ez7zd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (22M) tell my friend (23F) and her boyfriend (23M) that they're too heavy to both sleep on my pull-out couch?", "post": "I haven't seen my friend Amy for a few months, and she finally got the time off to visit me. When I told her she could sleep on my pull-out couch, I meant her. The next day, she tells me her on-again off-again boyfriend Jim (loser) is also coming, which I wasn't prepared for. The thing is, the weight limit on my pull-out couch is 350 pounds. Both of them combined probably weigh 450 pounds+, more than enough to break the damn thing (the legs at the bottom are super flimsy).\n\nThey can't afford to get a hotel in Las Vegas over the weekend, and are banking on sleeping on my couch. And NO, I am NOT taking the couch and letting them sleep on my bed. I told them they should bring an air mattress because 'the pull-out bed is small', but they said they don't own one, and they'll manage on the pull-out just fine.\n\nAmy and Jim are coming to visit in a few days. How do I tell them they're just too overweight to both sleep on the couch? What alternative solutions should I offer them?", "summary": "Friend and boyfriend are visiting in a few days. How do I tell them they're too fat to both sleep on the pull-out couch?"} {"id": "t3_52in16", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I 22M recently broke up with one ex 24F and started talking to a different better liked ex 21F.", "post": "Honestly I don't know where to go from here. Recently was broken up with by one girl I'll call R. R was a very nice sweet girl, but I knew way before she broke up with me that things were going to end. I even tried breaking up with R first a few months before and we both broke down and I couldn't go through with it. I don't really have any feelings left for her and I think being forced to continue a relationship with someone you don't really have much reason to be with can make a break up easier. \n\nIt's been about a month now and I've been trying to think of ways to get back out there and find someone for me and I think of the last ex that made me really feel good and that was an ex from about two years ago let's call her D. D was an amazing girl and I tried it with her twice but each time it seemed like she had a problem with having a relationship and wanted to be a fuck buddy but I wasn't into that so we broke up, both times for that reason. I still had fun with her as a friend though and decided to see how she was doing and I looked her up and found out she had just gotten out of a serious shitty relationship herself, we've started hanging out a bit though and I feel like I still have feelings for her. Am I an idiot?", "summary": "Recently broke up and started talking to a fun ex and found out I still have feelings for her, is it a really terrible idea to continue?"} {"id": "t3_4jveh3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by cleaning my CPAP mask", "post": "Today I fucked up by attempting to not be a totally gross human on my way to some weird infection you see on dramatic medical shows. \n\nThe nose pillows for my CPAP machine (it's what keeps you from stopping breathing at night when your body hates existing) needed a cleaning, as most things that regularly hang out inside your nostrils probably do. There's some difficult-to-get-to inner bits that I became frustrated with, so I began just sort of violently squeezing the whole thing in an effort to get the vinegar down in there, when one forceful squeeze sent vinegar splashing right over the rim of my glasses and directly into my eye.\n\nThat... stung. And even after flushing my eye thoroughly I am now getting gross dribbles of vinegar flavor down the back of my throat. Thanks for that, sinuses!", "summary": "shot vinegar into my eyeball, it stung, and now I keep tasting it in the back of my throat. It's gross."} {"id": "t3_1ytd1f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "sexually unhappy[23M] with [23F] 1 1/2 yr gf", "post": "Background: \nThe first 8-10 months we had sex multiple times a day and it seemed more passionate and energy filled. Now we have sex less, about once a week, but we spend all day in bed when we see each other (prime time for sex). We see each other 3 times a week on average. She also loves me deeply despite me maybe not feeling loved at times.\n\nProblem/questions: \nShe doesn't want to have sex as often as me and that's fair but I can't help but feel negative emotions and be somewhat upset when it doesn't happen and I don't know how to over come that or turn my sex drive down or hers up.\n\nProblems pt. 2/My feelings: \nI feel like it's more than just a sexual release like I equate love to sex and her wanting to have less sex with me/she seems less into it makes me feel less loved. I also feel like she kisses me less and is just less all over me and that makes me feel less loved.\n\nI feel like she never initiates sex without me being some sort of catalyst which makes me feel like she is not into me, even though I know she is.\n\nPast attempts at communication: \nI've talked to her about it and she doesn't really like talking about it and when I asked her why things seem to be different than how they used to be she says we were in the honey moon phase. She also once said how it's different now that I live at home (just graduated)[despite: my parents not caring, us both having our own rooms on the opposite side of the house, and having had sex at my house countless times before without her mentioning this once].", "summary": "less sex makes for me feeling less loved and to me loving her less. Idk how to lower my sex drive or increase hers or to just not feel shitty about having less sex."} {"id": "t3_102hs0", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "I think I might have deep vein thrombosis and I cannot afford to go to the doctor.", "post": "I've been researching signs and symptoms for awhile now, and I'm about 90% sure that I have deep vein thrombosis (a blood clot in my leg). I'm not going to bother going into all the symptoms and everything, 'cause it's kind of irrelevant. \n\nThe problem is that I need medical attention and cannot afford it. I don't have health insurance. I'm a college student, currently unable to find a job. My parents can't afford to help, either. My dad's income barely covers the household's needs and my mom just lost her job a few days ago. \n\nI'm not stupid. If I have no other option, I WILL go to the emergency room and get this taken care of. But only after I've exhausted other options. I'm already going to be in student loan debt for a good chunk of my life, and the last thing I need are hospital bills. I'm living barely above comfortable on my student loans and savings from my summer job.\n\nWhat are my options? Is there anywhere I can go that would be free, or even a little less expensive than the hospital?", "summary": "Need medical attention, don't have money. Want to know and understand my options before I commit to massive hospital bills."} {"id": "t3_2grp4d", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not taking proper care of my car", "post": "Although to be fair I've actually been in a state of fucking-up for the past year. \n\nMy car has been making some weird noises from under the hood for a few months now, and while I've more or less gotten used to it (fairly easy because it goes away after I've been driving for a few minutes) everyone who's heard it has told me I should really get it checked out. \n\nWell this morning I finally went to see a mechanic about it before work, and after speaking with him on the phone about an hour ago I've learned that apparently the \"tension chain\" or something to that effect is hitting the inside of the engine and must be fixed/replaced. This repair is going to cost me about $1400, which I will just barely be able to afford with the combination of payday tomorrow and what money I have saved up (not a whole lot). \n\nThe real kicker though is that when I asked him what I could have done to prevent this, he told me an oil change. And then I realized with a chill that not once since I bought this car in October of last year did I think to have the oil changed.", "summary": "I'm completely broke because I didn't think at any time in the past year to spend $50 and get my oil changed."} {"id": "t3_33oaa1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [15 M] don't feel good enough for my [16F] amazing girlfriend", "post": "I have been dating the most amazing person for 5 months (I know it's not at all long but it's my first relationship). Her name is Rachel and she is everything I could have asked for; she is absolutely gorgeous, intelligent, creative, and insanely kind-hearted. Her and I were friends for a year before we started dating. I feel like I'm not worth her time. Everything in my mind tells me that I'm not good enough.\n\nShe never gets to spend time with anyone because she is so busy. Every possible state test and final is coming up for her and she has been so stressed (She has had Star Testing, District Write, AP testing, random, 8-day testing for Juniors, AND finals will be coming up soon). I understand she has a lot on her plate and admire how much self-motivation she has, but I keep having to cage up my emotions because she isn't very fond of couples expressing physical relationships in public.\n\nI am totally fine with her not liking public displays of affection, but it is starting to get to me because I never get to see her alone and express my feelings more. It wouldn't feel real if I did it over text; I would much rather do it in person because then I would have to come out of my shell a bit instead of hiding behind a phone.\n\nThinking about it, there are two points of contention. \n\n1.) Her and I never get to spend meaningful time together\n\n2.) I have low self-worth\n\nBeing high school students, this will probably all get better over summer when we have time, but I have been really thinking about it recently and it's been stressing me out a lot. Is there anything I can do to lessen one, if not both of the points of contention? Jesus I hate my teenager hormones.", "summary": "I don't get to express my feelings around my girlfriend because we never get meaningful time together and I also just don't feel good enough for her. Is there anything I can do or do I just have to wait it out?"} {"id": "t3_17g4l0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [16F] boyfriend [17M] of one year forgot about me for an entire day...", "post": "Bit of background, Ive had the flu for about 4 days. The first few days he texted me, everything was fine. Then yesterday, he didn't text me at all, all day. When I texted him, he admitted to just... forgetting about me. \n\nNow, I don't demand much in the area of texting. Once a day before bed, a quick \"I love you.\" We used to talk all the time, he was like my best friend. Now... I'm lucky to even get a text between all his video games and stuff. We see each other at school for maybe 10 minutes tops. He claims \"there's nothing to talk about\". I don't know how to respond. I think about him constantly. He said hes sorry and that he loves me, I don't doubt that. I just don't know where to go from here.", "summary": "I'm sick, boyfriend of a year forgot about me for an entire day. Communication has dwindled as it is. Don't know where to go from here."} {"id": "t3_1yet3a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 ] and new interest [23] have been dating for over a month, when should I bring up my marijuana use (medicinal purposes) ?", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nLooking for some input on when I should bring up this topic. I smoke weed on a nightly basis to battle my (self-diagnosed/lifelong problem) insomnia. Without it, I get 2-3 hours of sleep maximum after tossing/turning for 5 hours. With, I knock out after 30 minutes and am able to sleep 6+ hours.I admit that it also serves to wind me down, though this is not the purpose I began smoking. Rarely do I use it recreationally -- maybe once a month, about an hour earlier than I normally smoke before sleep). My life and success have improved greatly after starting this remedy (GPA skyrocketed, landed a job in my field, etc.).\n\nShe hasn't explicitly spoken out against weed, however on our first or second date I asked if she's ever smoked anything. Her answer was no and the question wasn't returned to me.\n\nLevel of seriousness: We started dating 5 weeks ago and have seen each other every weekend since. We had sex twice last weekend and discussed/confirmed exclusivity, although we don't refer to each other as girlfriend/boyfriend quite yet. I can see us dating for quite a while, so I know this isn't something I want to hide from her forever.\n\nDo I owe it to her to tell her immediately? She's coming over this weekend for our first full day/night over together.\nPlease advise!", "summary": "In new relationship. Girl is not aware I smoke weed on a nightly basis in order to sleep. When do I bring it up and how?"} {"id": "t3_39aqnt", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "Tifu by watering my crotch", "post": "Obligatory, this didn't happen today, but it was yesterday so not too much of a gap.\nI was sitting in a meeting with about four other people. One person was presenting so it was quiet. The meeting room was freezing. Like someone was piping in cold air just to keep you awake. To mitigate against smuggling raisins/hypothermia I had got a cup of boiling water to hold. After ten minutes I had already sat that hot wonderfulness on both legs, forearms, back and front of my hands and it was now nestling snuggly pretty much in my crotch. This was the fuck up. My boss was sat beside me and turned to nod in agreement to me about the presenters point. I had zoned out as I had been focusing on staying alive so I sat up and vigorously nodded to look like I had been paying attention. In this moment, I had forgotten the cup of water. Which I let pour into my crotch. Cue, desperately trying to look interested in the presentation, not draw attention to myself, and not move due to my lady bits being swamped with water that was far too hot to be acceptable in that area.\n\nI sat the rest of the presentation as I felt burnt, then warm, then even colder than before and dreading having to stand up at the end to leave. \nWhen it was over, I faffed about with my notebook until everyone else left and I took my wet frozen self to a bathroom.\nLesson learned - if you're going to use boiling water as a hot water bottle, don't warm the crotch.", "summary": "used a cup of hot water to warm lady bits. Poured it on said bits to avoid disapprovement from my boss."} {"id": "t3_vnygk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I want to make this work. Wondering if it's a lost cause.", "post": "Him 25 Me 22 \nBeen together for a little longer than a year and we're moving in together in about a month. \n\nWe are both madly in love with each other and never felt this way about anyone else. We have our issues, but overall our relationship makes us both very happy. \n\nThe problem is that I have insecurity issues stemming back to my childhood that I have continuously tried to work on. It is hard for me to get close to people so I make everyone disposable. I've been lied to by people and taken advantage of in my past so I am paranoid and can be really cynical and skeptic. I have acute anxiety and it acts up at times and makes me paranoid and I have compulsive thoughts about him lying or being unfaithful. \n\nMy current SO does not give me reasons to doubt him and he never has but I am having trouble giving him my complete and total trust. I get paranoid and although I do give him his space and do not text him 24 7 or question him at all times there are moments when it gets the best of me and I start feeling paranoid and extremely insecure. I love him to pieces and I want this to work. We're both in a place where moving in together is right and we both feel so ready for it (I have been living with him as a transition for the past few weeks and everything is going great.) The only problem is those moments of lack of trust and I know it is not fair to him that I sometimes doubt his love for me. I am working on it/have been and it is getting better, but I am losing hope and starting to worry that I will never be able to give him my complete and total trust. \n\nDo you guys have any similar experiences or words of advice for me? We tell each other everything I am just so terrified of the fact that there is a possibility (because this is real life) that he may one day lie to me. I want to get over this for him because he doesn't deserve it.", "summary": "Moving in with boyfriend. Love him so much and want to be better for him but insecurity and lack of trust get the best of me. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_1i4gu6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, how did going back to your ex work out for you?", "post": "I dated her for about 6 months. We started in college and continued through summer, but summer turned into long distance. I feel like the distance killed the relationship. We are about 1 1/2 hours apart. After breaking up, I gave her the space that I thought she would want. We haven't talked for a whole year, but now we have begun texting again over the last month. She obviously holds a special place in my heart, but I just don't know if it is worth trying again. Since breaking up, we both dated other people, and both of us in my opinion, have matured greatly. Is it worth trying again? Did it turn out well?", "summary": "Dated for 6 months at college. Returned to our homes, LDR started. Broke up, dated other people, now beginning to talk again."} {"id": "t3_1zk6lm", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Questions about my slumlord living situation", "post": "I have a couple of questions regarding my borderline \"slumlord\" living situation. I rent a very cheap three bedroom apartment in a college town (Boulder, Colorado) where housing is expensive and in high demand. My place was built in the 90s as a makeshift addition onto the back of a more solid, established house. \n\nMy issue is a lack of responsiveness in regards to fixing things around my house that inhibit my comfort and wellbeing in day to day life. \n\n-Everything damaged or disgusting about the house was well-documented in the initial walkthrough with pictures and checklists filled out.\n\n-Many things that were put in writing to be fixed by a certain date were ignored completely or took far past the agree-upon date to be addressed, including a couple things that may be genuine safety concerns.\n\n-I pay my rent in a very under the table way which my landlord insisted upon. It involves depositing any combination of cash and checks into his bank account which is at a bank located up the street from me. I have records of all of these deposits.\n\nThe door to my room is off its hinges with a splintered frame. My landlord said we would have to discuss the \"cost\" of fixing it, implying that I would have to pay for it.\n\nI guess my question is, what are my rights as a tenant? What can I demand that he fixes? I have been complacent about a lot of things which may nullify any upper hand I would have.\n\nIt is also worth mentioning that the house has not been officially inspected to my knowledge and the opinion of a couple of my experienced carpenter friends would be that it would fail many housing codes.\n\nI don't want to cause harm to my landlord or gain retribution, I just want to have things fixed so I can continue living cheaply and comfortably.\n\nThere is an official lease which I read carefully that follows the standard template of all other leases I have signed through more professional channels. I have copies of it from each respective lease term.", "summary": "I live in a crappy house in a college town and my landlord is very negligent and unresponsive when it comes to routine maintenance. What are my rights and what can I do to get things fixed?"} {"id": "t3_hoc8f", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the most dickish thing you've done to a friend that you really regret?", "post": "The idea for this came from [this thread] but what about the dickish things like this that you've done to your friends? \n \nA couple of years ago, I had a friend that I was basically inseparable from. We rode to and from school together, and we basically hung out every day. We always had a really awesome time hanging out, and he always made me laugh about everything. He was a hilarious dude. But one day I found out that he had smoked some pot, which I wasn't a fan of him doing. It was the first time he did it, but at the time, I had a very XxStraightxEdgexX mentality, so I thought I was above everyone who smoke and drank, etc. So, after I found out that he had gone and done that, I waited for the school year to end, and I made the decision that I wasn't going to be friends with him anymore. I completely quit talking to him, deleted him from Myspace(yeah, it was back then.), and even took his number out of my phone. It was several months before I tried to talk to him again, but I eventually realized how big of an ass I was being, so I sent him a long email apologizing for being so insensitive and closed-minded. I had found out from third parties that he sank into a real deep depression because I quit talking to him, and he refused to go anywhere in public that he might run into me. We're on good terms now. Things are slightly tense because of the long period of not talking to each other, but they've somewhat returned to normal, but I sincerely regret that decision. I don't think we'll ever be as close as we were, and it was real shitty of me to be that way towards him.", "summary": "FRIEND SMOKED POT, I DIDN'T LIKE IT, SO I QUIT TALKING TO HIM BECAUSE I WAS TOO COOL FOR THAT "} {"id": "t3_eyzs3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "The Evolution of a Relationship", "post": "Many of the posts on /relationships seem to be about LTR that don't work out for a magnitude of reasons. Most of these LTR seem to have start in the late teens and have hit a bumpy period in the early 20's which is a huge transitional stage in anyone's life and causes strain on relationships. \n\nI'm 23 and have been dating my SO for 5 years. We've seen each other through the hardest times and been there for each other unquestionably. Nonetheless, we have our issues and problems like anyone else. A recent issue has got me thinking and I am curious to see and understand different opinions on the issue.\n\nA late teen relationship is not the same as a young adult one, or that of mid 20's; what are some differences that you feel are quite major and do you have any advice to transition from a young, 'everything is new and exciting relationship', to a more mature, stable and passionate relationship.\n\nThe first thing that comes to my mind is communication and the realization that a relationship is a choice.\n\n-HB", "summary": "What are your experiences, insights, opinions, or comments about transitioning a LTR from a late teen relationship to a healthy, functioning mid-20's relationship."} {"id": "t3_jj2b8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Redditors with legal experience, on what grounds can an establishment deny an international/foreign ID as proof of age?", "post": "I was wondering on what exact legal grounds an establishment can deny a foreign national the use of their identification as proof of age. I know it can vary by state, and by circumstance - this doesn't *quite* apply, but I know that the state of New York is required to accept any foreign driver's license as proof of driving competency, provided that there is an English translation.\n\nFor those wondering about my exact story, I went to a bowling range in North Carolina, where I tried to get a beer with my International Driver's License (IDP), as I am 21. They got very confused when they saw it, and asked for any other type of identification - all I had was: A) my student ID card, which doesn't have my birthdate, but does have my legal name that matches the IDP, and B) my actual foreign license, which is written in Korean, but has my government-issued social security number, which by default, has the citizen's birth date as the first six digits, and would also match the IDP.\n\nThey denied to my face that it was sufficient proof of my age, despite my birth date being there in plain sight. I cited that the International Driver's Permit is accepted almost worldwide, particularly by the United States, which is a 1968 signatory of the Vienna Convention on Road Traffic - so if the federal government can accept this document as sufficient proof that I can handle a motor vehicle in the United States and any US territory, then a birth date on the same document should be sufficient proof of my age. \n\nThe lady said, \"The United States may accept this, but this bowling range doesn't.\"\n\nThere were a lot of phone calls, and eventually I gave up and got an orange juice. Redditors with legal experience - are they allowed to do this, or were they just being dicks?", "summary": "Some wankers at a bowling range pretended my International Driver's Permit wasn't sufficient proof that I was 21, and I want to know if they can do that."} {"id": "t3_2pg86f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22F] partner [23M] of 18 months, thinks it's a bad move for us to move in together.", "post": "Me (22F) and my SO of 18 months (23M) have been talking about moving out of home for almost as long as we have been a couple. Neither of us have lived out of parents homes before, although we both now have secure full-time corporate jobs, so financially there is no issue.\n\nWe'd been looking at apartments together for a while, but last week after visiting a potential property he informed me that he's been talking to his friends and family, and has decided that he's just going to move out alone or with one of his friends instead of with me. He argued that this was best as after considering the advice he's been given, he thinks it's \"too early\" in our relationship to move out, especially as neither of us have lived out of our family home before. That moving in together would be bad for our relationship and we should continue to live separately. \n\nI sort of see where he's coming from, but I'd like some other people's perspectives on this. My main issue is I feel as though we have been together for quite a while, we practically live at each other's houses as it is, have a secure relationship, are involved in each others families, and if we are not at the point of being able to live together now, then when? \nIs he right to think that this would likely be damaging to our relationship? How long were you with your partner before deciding to cohabit? Is the fact it would the first time living away from our family us both really a major factor?", "summary": "BF of 18 months says moving in together would be bad for our relationship, because it's \"too soon\" and neither of us have lived away from our family homes before. In your experience/opinion is this correct?"} {"id": "t3_2uhin0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18/F] with my mom [~50/F] and dad [~50/M] want to give my room to my younger brother when I go to college?", "post": "I'm new to this posting thing, so please bear with me. \n\nI'm at that age where college is in the equation, which has sparked many fights between me and my parents. One of the most frequent arguments is about how my younger brother [16/M] gets to take over my bedroom when I go to college due to his being the size of nice walk-in closet. \n\nI don't know if I'm overreacting or just being unreasonable, but I told them that I felt as though they were giving away my living space. I plan on returning home during breaks and during the summer to work in my hometown (I have a great summer job) and I don't want to return to the \"guest bedroom\" (as they have put it) instead of the room that I have grown up in. \n\nI have stated countless times that many other families don't give away their child's bedrooms when they go to college, but they just won't have it. I have been called \"dramatic\" and \"drama queen\" countless times. \n\nThe question here is: what should I do? Am I being unreasonable in expecting them to preserve my room for my return home? If I'm not, then what should I do?", "summary": "Parents want to give my room away to my brother when I go away to college and I feel like I'm going to be homeless. What next?"} {"id": "t3_2he3db", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Your narcissism vs. my ability to ignore you", "post": "There's this incredibly egocentric and conceited guy in my graphic design class. He's a whiny little ass with a big attitude, thinks he's way better than anyone else (which is definitely not the case), pretends he's the professor sometimes...you get the idea. I sit right behind him, though I'm sure you could practically feel his drab eye-rolling from the other side of the building. \n Anyway, one day the professor gave us a quick tutorial on a function of Illustrator, and the narcissist interrupted with a surprisingly helpful shortcut to the process. I'll give him props for actually being helpful for once. A few minutes go by and the guy who normally sits next to our little arrogant antagonist arrives to class late, missing both the initial Illustrator tutorial, as well as the new and improved one. Late Guy turns around to ask me what we're doing and how to do it, much to the narcissist's demise, who is always itching to condescendingly show something he's a self-proclaimed master at. I show Late Guy the original method, but then I add \"oh, but the professor actually showed us an even easier way of doing this,\" and taught him the narcissist's shortcut word-for-word, without even giving so much as a sideways glance at the steaming ego three feet to his left.", "summary": "Narcissist gives insightful knowledge during class, I regurgitate his information verbatim to someone else who had arrived late and give the professor all the credit within earshot of the narcissist."} {"id": "t3_2bvngv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My GF [22 F] of 1 year broke up with me [22 M] right when she starts school and I'm about to start a new job. Adjustment crisis or real breakup?", "post": "The best relationship of my life just ended. I've been with a few girls, but this was on a whole different level. We seriously talked about moving in together and had a future planned together.\n\nWe both just graduated college and she is beginning grad school, and I took a job near her so we could remain together. It was an easy decision for me, we both wanted it and were super excited to stay together. She's been at school for 2 weeks and I start work next week, but we just broke up out of nowhere. She said she felt different when she got to school and started to not be excited to talk to me. There were close to no issues in our relationship previously and we just enjoyed a few awesome weekends trips together.\n\nI want to believe that this is just her having trouble adjusting to school and being overwhelmed, but I just don't know. I pleaded with her to give us some more time, but her mind was made up and she said she needs to do this. She wants space to be on her own and I want to give it to her but I'm scared I will lose her.\n\nThese past few days have been hell for me. We spoke once and it is killing me not to talk to her. What do I do? Is she going to come back?", "summary": "Took a job to be near GF. She just started grad school and my job is about to start and she broke up with me out of nowhere."} {"id": "t3_ihbeh", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "To anyone thinking of owning a Siberian...", "post": "This isn't going to be a lecture about how they need lots of exercise, or that they will tear your house up, or even about how stubborn they can be. In fact, my Husky will lay in the grass all day and be fine with it, and she never destroys anything in our house. \n\nNo, this is a post to inform anyone thinking of getting this breed to be wary of their problem solving skills, or to be more specific, the escape skills a husky can possess.\n\nThey will get out, trust me. My husky learned how to open windows in the first house I had her in. One afternoon she managed to climb over a six foot fence, and then the same day opened a window and went to visit a local farmer.\n\n When put in a fenced in back yard she constantly checks the perimeter to find a way out(think jurassic park velociraptors always testing). The sneakiest part though is she won't escape if she knows I can see her. She will wait until given time alone to exploit the escape route.\n\nJust yesterday I learned how she got out of our completely gated front yard. I watched as she walked up to the side of the gate that a person would open said gate from, plant her back paws, and slide open the gate with her fronts. This gate isn't easy for me to open and I am a grown ass man.\n\nWhat's my point? Well all in all I just want people to know how much these dogs think about getting free to run. Nothing excites a husky more than the thought of running to see what is on the other side; whether it is a door, fence, or window, they want out. Greet breed, but a little too much Houdini for some people.", "summary": "If you get a Husky, be prepared to for it too escape. No matter how good you think your defense is."} {"id": "t3_1wyxgm", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[19F] My boyfriend's [25M] mom is controlling", "post": "Background: My boyfriend and I have known each other for a year and have been seeing each other for about 5 months. We recently made our relationship official. His dad died about 6 years ago, and as a result still lives with his mom to take care of her. We live an hour and a half away from each other so we can only see each other on the weekends. He usually comes to my place and stays for the whole weekend.\n\nThe problem is that his mom always wants him to be home with her. When he's with me she will constantly text him telling him that he needs to clean/do chores, give her rides, and even to come home. She questions him about where he is and why he's gone all weekend. When I asked him why she does this, he said that it's because she's alone in the house, but he is with her all during the week and his sister comes home from another city for the weekends. He isn't a mamma's boy and isn't over-attached to her, but he will sometimes leave my house early because his mom expects him to be home at a certain time. I feel frustrated because he is old enough that he doesn't need his mom to monitor and police him! I want to say something about it, but it isn't my place to get involved with him and his mom's relationship. I also feel somewhat selfish; his poor mom is a widow and I'm sure her wanting him to be home has to do with his dad's passing. I don't want to keep him from his mom at all, but I know this will become more of a problem as our relationship progresses, especially if we want to get serious.\n\nHow should I handle this? As I said I want to confront him about it before it becomes a bigger problem, but I can't help but feel it isn't my place and I'm not sure how to go about it.", "summary": "Boyfriend's widowed mom always wants him to be home. I don't know how to confront him without feeling selfish."} {"id": "t3_3svwvl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My ex [23 M] of 2 years emailed me [22 F] \"Happy Birthday\" despite my cheating on him a year prior", "post": "I dated my ex for around 2 years. We met at college and essentially lived together during the entirety of our relationship. \n\nTowards the end of our relationship, I cheated on him with another man. We broke up and haven't talked since. This happened around my birthday in 2014.\n\nMy birthday came a couple days ago, and that evening I checked my email to find he emailed me saying \"Happy Birthday\" (subject line, no text in the body of the email). I responded and said \"Thanks. Sorry I forgot about yours [his had been a month prior]. Hope your birthday was enjoyable and hope you're doing well.\" He hasn't responded.\n\nI'm confused as to why he wished me a happy birthday despite betraying him a year prior. I don't plan on dating him again, but is this a sign he wants to be friends?", "summary": "My ex wished me a happy birthday via email, despite my forgetting about his birthday - is this significant in any way? Anything I can/should do?"} {"id": "t3_1b7upc", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "How young is too young?", "post": "I have a 10 wk old boxer/lab mix. At the time, she was 6 weeks and I was keeping her inside in a crate next to my bed. She would cry for about 10 minutes every hour through out the night. Eventually I moved the crate so she was next to me in the bed. This did not stop the crying; it only made it easier for me to stick my arm in to soothe her. I could not get her to stop and my roommates were getting fed up after about a week and a half so I let her outside with my older dog. It's been a month and I would like to try again. Am I expecting too much from her at such a young age? I would also like to know if she is too young to potty train. I keep her inside during the day but I was constantly cleaning up messes. I would take her outside immediately after she ate and drank but she wouldn't go. After about twenty minutes I'll bring her back in and as soon as I turn my head she is going number one or two.", "summary": "Is 6-10 weeks too young for a puppy to be crate trained and potty trained? When should I try again?"} {"id": "t3_vwp7u", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "(20/m) Young, traditional guy.. Needing some advice from people who have been where I'm at.", "post": "I'll try to keep this clear, concise, and complete. I'm a college kid who got out of a really serious relationship a few months back, the girl who I was going to get married to cheated on me and then left. That is basically unimportant, but gives you some insight into my background.\n\nI'm not a guy who really likes going to the bar and hooking up, those aren't usually my type of women and it doesn't make me feel good to \"score\" a babe for the night. I'd like to date a girl who is mature and has a little more \"traditional\" values (Christian morals basically, but I am not religious so that isn't a huge deal to me), but I find that really hard to find in my age group. When I try to talk to older women who I feel may be ready for something a little more serious, they would rather talk to guys who are older than me. \n\nI know I'm not the only person who has been in this situation. Has anybody felt this way? Have a success story? Where are all the \"keepers\" of the world? Where is a good place to pick up women, other than the bar? I don't expect an answer to these questions, I'm just struggling to find someone who I think is on the same level as me in most aspects, and that sucks.\n\nI know that the first and foremost piece of advice would be just \"not to worry about it\" since I am so young, or stick and out and wait until I get older. Well, I am very comfortable with myself, but I'm ready to move on and at least look for something new. Any help?", "summary": "I don't really connect to the women of my age group, older (22 & up) women are more interested in older men... Stuck in a limbo of sorts, what can I do?"} {"id": "t3_2qfap2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my girlfriend[18 F] of 3 months, she threatens to hurt herself and doesn't understand why I don't want to be in a relationship", "post": "Okay so I'll start with the problem. I don't want to be in a relationship and my girlfriend doesn't understand. She claims she's only happy when she's with me, would do anything for me, and so on. Whenever I want to break up, she says that it hurts her so much and she wants to relieve the pain by hurting herself.\nI hate to see her like this so I get back with her.\nI care about her, I am close to her but I don't want a relationship because of some personal issues.\n\nI have very sociopathic traits, as told by a few of my friends. Deep down, I don't care about people as in I can move on from them easily. I can replace people in my life easily. I don't think I can fall in love or love anyone the traditional way. I don't manipulate people though, I really want others to be happy, but I just simply don't get attached or miss anyone (same with family) even though I can be sociable and get close to people. \n\nShe doesn't understand this at all. She claims I'm putting up my walls and I'm stopping myself from loving people. Maybe, maybe not, I see a therapist for this. She thinks she can change me, but I don't think so. There was a post on reddit I saw that describes how I feel. \n\nWhat do I do? I know I'll never love her the way she wants me to. I'll eventually get bored and sick of getting back with her and that's the point where I move on and not care about what she thinks....", "summary": "I don't think I can fall in love (with anyone), girlfriend wants to change me. Wants to hurt herself if I leave"} {"id": "t3_1c460v", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Is dating someone with the same name as a sibling OK? {17M}", "post": "So I met this girl a while ago on a Ski trip with a group of friends, we got along well enough, chatted a bit but nothing came of it. Recently when chatting over the Book of Faces she suggested we hang out like we had intended to; we traipsed about the area we live through various cities and malls and overall got on super fine, lots of inside jokes were made we laughed and had a fly time. We're gonna go shopping next week and I'm wondering if I should make a move or maybe be a bit more forward this time, I only ask because she has the same name as my older sister. I have a poor relationship with my family so it's not like she'd ever meet her but it seems a bit... Socially un-koscher (Yeah I just made up a word). Note that I'd be totally fine with dating her, to me it's simply a title; this question is more for the women to answer, would it be weird if a guy asked you out and his sister had the same name as you?", "summary": "I get along superfine with a girl that has the same name as my sister and am wondering if it's all good in the hood to ask her to a coffee."} {"id": "t3_1y4gvn", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(18m) The girl I really like is trying to set me up with a girl I don't like. What the heck do I do?", "post": "I'm a high school student. I'm 18, in 12th grade, and I would go as far as to say that I'm sub-par on looks.\n\n\"Girl A\" is all I could ever want. She's funny, smart, a beautiful singer, an actress, she's got a great sense of style, she's mature, a lot more of a woman than any girl I know, and she's just knockout gorgeous. She told me that she knows a friend of mine, \"Girl B\",who likes me, and she wants to set me up with her. \n\nGirl B is nice, and she's funny, and also a good singer, but she's just not... my type? She is just a lot less mature than Girl A. She is two years younger than me (in high school, age differences are a bigger deal), and she just reminds me too much of a cute kid instead of an attractive woman, like Girl A.\nAnd Girl B is a sophomore. I don't really care so much about age difference as much as I do that she's still gonna be in school all the time, even when I'm out of school or in college. I don't want a high school relationship in college.\n\nI told Girl A that I didn't like Girl B like that, and gave the same reasons as I described above. Girl A told me that I should give her a chance, and that it's not fair to complain about girls not liking me, and then turn down an opportunity like this.\n\nWhat the hell am I supposed to do?\n\nSorry for the wall of text.", "summary": "Girl I like tries to set me up with girl I don't like. I tell Girl A why I don't like Girl B. Girl A tells me to go for it anyways. Wat do"} {"id": "t3_1viwb6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[22/f] ex boyfriend [45/m] two timing old man.", "post": "So I've been dating this guy for about 8 months, he has 3 children which I take care for in the afternoons he hired me as his nanny, his wife passed away 3 years ago. 2 month ago I discovered he was dating someone else and well I got upset and ended things, I was going to quit as his nanny but then he started paying more, so money was good and I stayed. Sometimes occasionally I stay late and we drink wine and just talk. The other day another female coworker (another teacher from school, not coworker in his home) told me he had been hitting on her and she replied back telling her she knew about us and how we had things, he denied it and practically called me a liar. My coworker was just shocked by his assholeness and told me. I was not amused and just mentioned him that it hurt me, I didn't care if he was hitting on other people but the fact that he was calling me a liar and that nothing had happened did get me upset. So this other girl I caught him with, she doesn't know we where dating either, she just thinks I'm his nanny, and he moves the world I swear to make me and her not meet (even though I don't care he is seeing someone else, well i do but I'm working on getting over him) so last night I had a few cups of wine and emailed the girl he is dating know (which she already replied saying she's been dating him for 2 years!!). I emailed because I had enough of his bullshit and as a woman to another woman I wanted to let her know what he had done to me, dated me while still with her, and the way he lies. She said she wanted to meet tonight and talk about everything which I do want to, but I don't know if I should. Now that I'm sober I don't want to get involved in his drama again, but I don't want him to lie to this other poor girl that has no clue (I mean two years!!!) should I meet with her, or just leave it like that?", "summary": "he was dating me and someone else, I noticed she still hasn't, should I tell her or keep it to myself?"} {"id": "t3_fc77q", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "i'm having a quarter life crisis and need guidance reddit...", "post": "so here's the issue in a nutshell: i'm 27. i've got a BA in liberal arts (poli sci) and just finished my 5 year of a phd program at a top 10 school. i kind of passively aggressively quit and by that i mean i haven't been in contact with my department for about 6 months. i had moved across the country with my best friend, but that blew up (long story) and so now i'm couch surfing, living out of a bag with all my shit basically trapped there. i don't have any money. i'm using unemployment but not paying rent so i've got a few hundred dollars and i just found out i have an IRA with about 1500 bucks in it (i don't know what an IRA is to be honest). my skills include writing (i've done both academic work and published articles in popular magazines) and being a really good reader. i'm also pretty adept with computers (as are most people my age). \n\ni'm not stuck because i don't have skills, i'm stuck because i literally have no idea what to do. i'm just looking for career paths. does anyone have any ideas?", "summary": "what the hell do i do with a BA in poli sci and 5 years of poli sci grad work? what job is that?"} {"id": "t3_35pq16", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M/F] with my FWB [28 M] of many years took pics of a little girl on vacation. Should I be concerned and what should I do?", "post": "Ok, I feel bad even asking this, but this post made me think of it again where OP found ~40 pics of little girls on her bf's phone: \n\nI met my online FWB in person for the first time last year. We were on vacation at the sea and went on a boat trip. It turns out all the tourists there were families. One family in particular was so nice to us and we made friends with them the whole time. \n\nOne odd thing to me, from an American perspective, is that their little girl (maybe 4-5) only wore bikini bottoms and no bikini top. I mentioned that to my FWB that maybe we're the sick ones in America for sexualising a child of that age and even thinking she needed a bikini top. \n\nHere's the weird part. Some time later I noticed he was taking kind of careful pictures of the distant mountains. When I looked at the pics he was taking on his phone, several of them had that little girl in them. I asked him about it and I said he shouldn't take pics of someone's child without asking them about it first. He said at first that she accidentally got in the shot (I don't think so) and then he said that in his culture it wasn't weird at all. \n\nI've seen pics of him with his nieces before and they're always cozied up on his lap. I never thought it was weird until I saw him trying to take those pics. \n\nI know he was sexually abused as a child, so I'm just not sure what to think of this or how to bring it up to him. It concerns me a lot honestly.", "summary": "My FWB took pics of a little girl on vacation and I'm not sure if that is normal or if I should try to get him help?"} {"id": "t3_3pvw3b", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting about a Parking ticket", "post": "Last month, on the 18th I got a 15 dollar parking ticket at a local college for not having a permit.\n\nFlash forward about a week and a half. Still havent mailed them the check, so i mail it and expect to get the extra 5$ charged on there because it would be late.\n\nFlash forward again to about a week ago. I was at a Magic: The Gathering tournament, and spent roughly 30 dollars on entry fee and a cool playmat, convinced that the ticket had been taken out and that the 10 dollars in my bank was all i needed for the rest of the week. \n\nThen earlier this week, I deposited my poor mans fast food resturant check, all but about 11 dollars would go to my insurance. \n\nThen today at work I bought a Chicken strip basket, a single chicken wrap, and a friend of mine a chicken wrap. Unannounced to me, my parking ticket from a month ago just hit the bank leaving me with about a dollar in the bank, and each of the 3 purchases I made bounced, and gave me a 35$ fee. Checked my balance when I got home, nearly had a heart attack. Now half of my next Paycheck is gone.\n\n4.50 dollars in food cost me 110$.\nShit I have a lot to learn.", "summary": "forgot about a parking ticket from a month ago, assumed it had already gone through as it drained my account, and had me bounce 3 times before i got home from work."} {"id": "t3_302onh", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[24m] I found my girlfriend [25/f] crying in the dark during a party", "post": "Hey reddit. We've been dating for 6 years, i'm 24m, she's 25f, my flatmate is 26f.\n\nLast Saturday, I came home from work to find my flatmate (26f) had invited a few of her friends over before they went out clubbing. I walked in to find my girlfriend baking and generally keeping to herself, while our flatmate was talking animatedly to the first guest to arrive (there was only one person).\n\nOur flatmate, my girlfriend, and I have been all living together for about four months now.\n\nAnyway, as the night went on and as more people came inside, the house got louder, the people more drunk, and it got to the point where she had to run into the bedroom. I thought she just wanted some alone time with the laptop or something, but I followed her in after a few minutes and found her crying on the bed. I consoled her and told her everything was going to be okay (I didn't know what to do :x sorry gf + reddit), and after a while she seemed fine, so we went back outside.\n\nI was invited to go out with the flatmate and her friends (they're all part of some couch surfing community) and she went back into the room. I followed her inside again after giving her some alone time and found her huddled in blankets, lights out, crying quietly.\n\nSo of course, I didn't go out, and shooed them all out to town, and stayed back. But I don't know what to do reddit. I tried talking to her about it, she says she doesn't really know. I think she doesn't deal well with a loss of control or with sudden developments that she hadn't planned for (she gets irritated at plans that fall apart e.g. we had planned to visit a place but couldn't find parking - she'd rather go home angry at the world instead of thinking of other things to do that might be fun).\n\nI'm slightly angry at her (I mean I know I shouldn't be) because I actually did want to go out after work but I stayed at home instead. And now I feel kind of selfish for feeling that way.", "summary": "gf didn't seem to handle sudden party very well (ended up crying in the dark) and now i'm worried but also slightly irritated"} {"id": "t3_3swovg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (21F) Boyfriend (30M) might be disgusted with my body?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months now, on and off. I have been suffering from social anxiety (due to abuse from my childhood and teen years.) It makes it really difficult for me to interact with people naturally. But for the past two years, I've been slowly overcoming it. I'm very proud of myself. But earlier this year, we broke up because of my lack of proper communication. \n\nA few months later, we got back together. I used that time we had apart to work on myself, and do the things I needed to do. We're doing so much better than before, I'm much more open and lively now. \n\nBut lately, we have been having problems when it comes to physical intimacy. \n Some of that is social anxiety and some of it stems from me being slightly heavier earlier on in our relationship. I was 5'10 and around 170. \n\nHe use to make crude remarks about the stretch marks on my belly and it's something that still really bothers me. I'm unsure of what to do. He seems to get a bit frustrated when it comes to how I view my body, I really hate having sex with the lights on. He says I should loosen up, but I can't help but think that maybe he would prefer someone a lot prettier than me?", "summary": "My boyfriend of 9 months is having trouble with intimacy due to my self esteem and social anxiety. But I feel uncomfortable sometimes because I feel that he might think I'm disgusting. "} {"id": "t3_1g234o", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I go about walking across the US?", "post": "Hello, Reddit. I am a teenage girl living in Southern California. I would like to someday walk across the nation to the east coast. I would drive to the coast and start there so I'm *really* walking across the nation, from sea to shining sea.\n\nI think it would take about six to nine months, so I would have to do it when I have some time. I might be able to do it right after college if I have enough money. Realistically, I probably won't. It might be a while before I'm able to do this.\n\nI have been walking a lot around my city and doing various exercise to get in shape. I've always been pretty healthy, but I will need to get used to walking 15-20 miles a day. I will probably take some other semi-big trips before I walk across the nation. \n\nI will need to find somebody to go with me. I'm hoping I'll meet somebody in college. I don't think that will be a huge problem. A lot of people want to walk across the USA.\n\nMy question is: Have any redditors done something like this? Not necessarily walked across the USA, just something like that. Is there anything I wouldn't expect, or common misconceptions that I might have?", "summary": "I'm a teenage girl who wants to walk across the nation someday. Any advice from people who have done something like this?"} {"id": "t3_10ebsy", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My brother kept using my toothbrush instead of his. So I told him that I got diagnosed with a mouth disease that he exposed himself to thanks to him using my toothbrush. Reddit, what creative solutions have you come up with to deal with irritating siblings?", "post": "So, my brother and I, like most siblings, share a bathroom. My sink is the closer one to the door, and I tend to keep my stuff out by the side instead of just stowing it in a cabinet. Problem is, my brother had gotten so lazy that he would not walk the few extra steps to use his own sink and toothbrush. Since I get ready and leave much later than he does (late college classes FTW), I find the most wonderful surprise of my wet, used toothbrush while his is bone dry. This may be a pet peeve of mine, buts it's gross and can spread disease. Parents won't do anything, so after I come back from an early doctor's appointment and find my toothbrush used again. I call my brother.\n\nMe: \"Have you been using my toothbrush again?\"\nBrother: \"No.\" (Pathological liar. Fools everyone)\nMe: \"I just got back from the doctor, and I need to know if you did.\"\nBrother: No, you're so gay!\nMe: I may have a mouth disease called (I made up some latin sounding terminology), which can cause bleed sores on the inside of the mouth. Since you use my toothbrush, you may have gotten exposed to it!\"\n\nSuffice to say, my brother flipped out. I then told him it was all a story, and warned him not to use my toothbrush again. He hasn't since.", "summary": "My brother kept using my toothbrush, so I freaked him out by telling him he got exposed to a mouth disease."} {"id": "t3_szgw4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Sex is starting to die down with my boyfriend... What do I do?", "post": "I (21F) have been dating this guy (22M) for a little over two months. We jumped into having sex really quickly, and I had no qualms about it because sexual compatibility is really important to me. For the first few weeks, it was really great. We had consistently frequent and mind-blowing sex. It got to the point where his dick was literally sore from too much sex.\n\nAs of late though, things have been less great. I always get the \"I'm not in the mood\" spiel from him, and more often than not, we'll usually opt for a blowjob in place of sex.\n\nI brought it up earlier, and he says he doesn't think that he can satisfy me all the time. I told him that it didn't necessarily have to be full-on sex. He could try to get me off by other means. But, he said that he wouldn't be in the right mood for it. The conversation pretty much just ended there.\n\nI'm not really sure what to do at this point. Our libidos are at very different places now. A similar situation occurred in my last relationship, and I tried to suck it up. After 4 years though, it got to be too much, and it destroyed my self-esteem. I don't want the same thing to happen again.\n\nI don't want to break up with him over this. After what happened in my last relationship, I realized that sexual compatibility was really important. But, I really adore this guy. He makes me so much happier than anyone has ever been able to, and this is only over the course of two months. I don't want to give that up just because of sex. If I keep falling for him at this rate though, and sex does end up getting in the way, we'll just end up getting so much more hurt. Reddit, I don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situation.", "summary": "Not having sex as often with boyfriend anymore. Boyfriend not in the mood for other sex-related things. He makes me too happy to want to breakup with him. Worried there will be inevitable breakup because of sex."} {"id": "t3_2lj5ho", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [24f] tell this guy [24m] about how I tried to ruin his relationship over 10 years ago?", "post": "Hey, guys\n\nI'll try to keep it short. J was my 'first love'. We studied together for many years, but I moved to a different city 9 years ago, so we lost contact. However, I moved back to my hometown at the beginning of the year, and there was this meetup. We started talking again, and he recently asked me on a date (which will happen this weekend). But there's something bothering me.\n\nEleven years ago, when I was a very stupid teenager and had this huge crush on him, I did something I'm not proud of. I had this older \"friend\" back then, R, who wasn't the nicest person. She was in love with this guy, D, that never gave her any attention, so she would take different boyfriends on a rather short period of time. One of these boyfriends was J. \n\nI knew her well. I knew she didn't like *him* (since she would keep on talking about how the other guy never saw her as more than a friend). But J liked her. And I did want him to be happy. The thing is, in my head, she didn't deserve him, so... I wrote an anonymous letter telling him about how she didn't really like him, how she was just using him to try to get the other guy jealous (she used to say she hoped D would see them together, that \"that would show him\"), so I wasn't lying in that letter. Still, it was a very low thing to do. R ended up having to explain herself to J, and they broke up. I didn't feel happy at all. I felt horrible, and really, really guilty. But I didn't have the guts to tell the truth, so I just stayed friends with both until I moved. I did become more distant, but that was all I did.\n\nSo although it all happened a long time ago, and I like to believe I have got a lot more mature... it still bugs me, now that he and I seem to be on the same page. I do feel bad about what I did, but is it worth bringing up? What do you guys think?", "summary": "tried to ruin this guy's relationship with a \"friend\" over 10 years ago. We met again, and he recently asked me on a date. Should I tell him about what I did?"} {"id": "t3_124a29", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I (26F) am so into him (24M) but I fear I may have effed up somehow.", "post": "background: we were acquaintances through mutual friends since about the spring. I remember seeing him just before being introduced and instantly finding him very attractive. I'm not sure if other women think that about him often; it's quite hard to tell. He's more the bookish, cerebral type. \n\n[Less Important Background: One night almost two months ago he came long for drinks with dome of us, and I felt great chemistry alongside a really good conversation.. did I mention he's really, really smart? I was officially smitten.\nBut a number of small issues, and my own shyness, seemed to get in the way of my contacting him after that except to confirm his fb friend request (cue fb-related cringe). ]\n\nSkip ahead to last weekend, and after asking the roommate about our plans he comes to join our little soiree and stays quite a while after the other guests leave.\n \nThe next day he was quite eager to join me on *my* plans for the evening; I ended up joining him at his friend's house which by then was hosting only four of us. More fairly awesome, intelligent conversation, most of it only between the two of us. We walked most of the way home together until we had to go our separate ways, hugged, and that was it. \n\nI remember being just a little surprised that he hadn't tried to kiss me by the way things had been going, and I really hope I didn't reveal that I half expected that, since he seems like a bit of the opposite of the fast-moving type and not the kind of person to act on any assumptions of my feelings. \n\nI left feeling happy, attracted, and more, well, respected by a potentially interested straight guy than I had by lots of others, since he hadn't ever resorted to any typical, well, attempted-subtle 'dude' moves or patronizing and had just been seemed so earnest.\n\nA few brief messages were exchanged the next day, but a couple days ago when I mustered up the guts to casually invite him along to a movie, he was 'tied up' and I haven't heard a peep since.", "summary": "He really did seem interested, just very respectful. But then he declined my invitation a couple days later and I haven't heard anything since. Sigh. "} {"id": "t3_3np7rh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [36 M] with my wife [36 F] (married a year, been together 6 years): She wants to have a gay guy friend come over and sleep in our bed and cuddle with her while I'm out of town. I got weird about it. Am I being unreasonable?", "post": "I know and met the guy. He's a nice guy. You would never guess him to be gay in any way. He and my wife clicked right away.\n\nAnyway, we don't know him *that* well. We've hung out maybe 4 times. My wife asked me right out if I would care if he came over when I was out of town and slept with her. Said there was nothing wrong with cuddling with a gay man. Actually went on to say that she could have a full-on emotional relationship with someone without it being sexual (which geez kinda sounds like an emotional affair to me).\n\nSo I got weird about it. Not sure why exactly, but I'm not comfortable with another guy in my bed with my wife when I'm not there. Gay or straight. Perhaps it's worth mentioning that he was straight most of his life. Perhaps it isn't.\n\nThe thing that bothers me most is that she didn't say \"Ok, thank you for sharing your boundary with me. I wont push the issue.\" -- She *did* push the issue. Argued as to why I was wrong about it. Brought up past relationships of mine when I was with \"more alternative people\" and called me \"vanilla.\" The whole exchange left me seething for a myriad of reasons beyond the original discussion. I began to feel as if my feelings (even if they WERE old school or unreasonable) were Invalid. Never a good feel.\n\nWhat's your take? Am I being unreasonable about the whole thing? Would you let a gay man sleep and cuddle in your bed with your wife while you weren't there? Why or why not? What if the tables were turned? For the ladies out there, would you let your husband sleep and cuddle with a gay woman while you were out of town? Thank you in advance.", "summary": "Wife wants to have a gay guy friend come over and sleep in our bed with her while I'm out of town. I got weird about it. Am I being unreasonable?"} {"id": "t3_unpk3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need some help finding an old game, 80's and early 90's kids please help!", "post": "The game I'am trying to find involves a cat and the point of the game was to place traps for the cat (needles is the only trap i remember). I vaguely remember that the cat was purple and the game had neat cartoony graphics (considering how old it would be now graphics were good). I can't for the life of me remember what the point of the game was, but I remember me and my little brother playing this and having a really good time at around the age of 9 to 10. I have spent alot of time on google trying to find this but I can't find what I am looking for, which makes me consider the possibility that this was a \"minigame\" of sorts, or maybe an old game they sent out with Happy Meals. I am not referring to Rodent's Revenge, although that was a fun game for its time to.", "summary": "I am looking for an old game that involves needles and various traps you set for a purple cat to fall on. Sounds better than it is :p"} {"id": "t3_13b67z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend's (24) dad (50s?) makes me (23) feel uncomfortable.", "post": "I've been dating my boyfriend almost a year and I have met his parents a number of times, though they live almost two hours away from us. His dad constantly comments on how I look and I hate it. I think it's why his mom doesn't like me. He'll tell me that he likes tall girls (I'm 5'9\", wife is probably 5'4\") and point out to his wife how I eat less and that's why I'm so much skinnier than her. This makes me feel awful, especially because I like his mom a lot. Last time I saw him, he said I should come with them to the next Star Trek convention and wear the outfit the girls wear in the Mirror, Mirror episode. His mom is never mean to me, just ignores his father and me, most of the time, which I totally understand and I wish he would knock it off. \n\nMy boyfriend acts like it's totally normal, and I feel like if I say anything it will make everything awkward forever. I definitely plan on marrying this guy, and we're having Thanksgiving at his parents next week. I'm inclined to dress frumpy around his father, but I also hate the idea of him influencing my appearance. We see him maybe once a month, but we're also going to Las Vegas with his family for Christmas. I'm just frustrated this is something I have to deal with.", "summary": "Boyfriend's dad makes inappropriate comments about my appearance. I hate it but don't know what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_4fiyw6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Does my girlfriend [24f] make jokes about breaking up / being interested in other guys to gauge my [24m] interest level?", "post": "We have only been dating for 2 months. She is the first girl I have been with but I am the third guy she has been with (two previous relationships of 8 months each). We both lost our virginities to each other so I would like to think there is some over-attachment to each other on both of our ends. At this point in our lives, we both want our goals to be marriage.\n\nHowever, she always makes jokes about breaking up with me. She is an attractive girl and gets asked for her phone number by guys on campus quite often.\n\nFor example, I just got back home last night to California from a 5 day college event in Kansas and she picked me up at the airport. 15 minutes into the drive she said \"rambosalad, I have a new boyfriend.\" I thought it was just another one of her jokes so I brushed it off. She slept over that night (no sex, just cuddling) and in the morning she again said, \"rambosalad, I don't like you anymore, I have a new boyfriend.\" I got very upset about it and after about 10 minutes of me being silent she said \"I am so happy you are upset, you must really like me.\" and then she said that she was joking about being interested in that other guy, and that he already has a girlfriend.\n\nI told her these break up jokes / boyfriend jokes upset me. We had sex very early in the relationship, and she has asked me before if I am just using her for sex or if I really love her, so I think she thinks I am using her for sex, which is not true. So I can't tell if 1. she is trying to gauge my interest level in her to see how I react or 2. she really wants to break up and see other guys because I made her promiscuous / interested in sex with other guys. She said she really enjoys sex now. (One of the reasons she wanted to have sex with me was because she was curious about sex, since one of the reasons her last boyfriend broke up with her was for not having sex.)", "summary": "girlfriend jokes a lot about being interested in other guys / breaking up, and I can't tell if she is trying to gauge my interest level or she is really interested in them"} {"id": "t3_2roa34", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 F] got asked out by a guy [23 M] I met on tinder after exchanging less than 10 messages. Is it too soon to meet up with him?", "post": "So I met this guy on Tinder, and we seem to have some things in common. It also doesn't help that he's attractive. And he comes off as respectful as well. But the thing is, we only exchanged 10 messages with each other, to estimate. And within the 10 messages, he asked me out for coffee and for some reason, I agreed. Am I moving a little too fast? The exchange between us was within the span of 2 days. \n\nAlso, a part of me kind of liked how he asked me out right away because I talk to lots of guys on Tinder and I feel like the conversation drags on, leading nowhere. And by then, it would leave us with nothing to talk about by the time I actually meet up with them. Honestly, I don't know how online dating works, so I can't tell if it's too early or not but I have a good vibe about him? Have you guys ever met someone online right away? Was your gut feeling correct?", "summary": "A guy from tinder asked me out for coffee even though we haven't been talking for too long. Too soon?"} {"id": "t3_13w4sw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I recently realized that I can come off as an asshole sometimes when I'm talking to people. Nice people, what tips do you have for me? Asshole haters, what would you like to see more of from the people you talk to?", "post": "Here's the story. My roommate was introducing me to some of his hometown friends and things went as normal. I mildly ridiculed them (as is my tendency with everybody, I'm just used to it, I guess) and after we returned to the dorm, my roommate let me know that he thinks they may have been slightly offended at my bitter attitude. Somewhere in the past couple of years I picked up the tendency to over employ the use of sarcasm. I just realized that this makes me seem like a jerk when I talk to people. I'm a pretty nice person in action. I'm almost always willing to help out, blah blah blah. I just want people to see this in me from the first impression, and not some shitty Jay Leno/Dane Cook knock-off. So, kind people of Reddit, what do you guys do when talking to people? And those who have no tolerance for douches and assholes, what do you want to see more of from the people you talk to?\n\n(Note: I'm looking for real answers. Not \"be kinder to people\" or \"stop being sarcastic.\" I want something at least a little deeper. Like what perspectives you have on new ideas, poor situations, etc. and what you think of the people you talk to, especially irritating, stupid, or difficult people.)", "summary": "I'm a jerk when I talk, but not when I act. What do nice people do to be nice? Deep answers please."} {"id": "t3_30na41", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M23] broke up with my gf [F23] of 2 years and now I feel like I don't know if I made the right decision.", "post": "I just need to get this off my chest any input from anyone would be greatly appreciated.\n\nSo I broke up with her about a month ago. We were together for about 2 years. She is an alcoholic and had depression, and it felt like a toxic relationship at least from my end which basically made me breaking it off in the end. \n\nHowever I feel like I still miss her I know she loved me and I loved her, but I couldn't take the drinking and the constant accusations of me doing stuff I never did. I was completely faithful to her the entire time but I was constantly accused of cheating and she became physical more then once towards. And I never once laid a finger on her. \n\nBut for some reason I can't stop thinking about her but I can't tell if it's cuz I was in such a long relationship or if I was really meant to be with her. I do miss her and I know she would take me back if I asked her. I just don't know if it would be the right idea.", "summary": "I broke up with my girlfriend that had depression and was an alcoholic. Still miss her and is wondering if getting back together the right decision."} {"id": "t3_1rzfdq", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "My best friend's younger sister.", "post": "I've known her since she was 11. Now she's 19 and I'm 24. Before this year, I hadn't thought about her as anything but a surrogate sister. When I came home from college, though, I was suddenly attracted to her. \n\nIn general, she's pretty cool. She's a goofball with a good heart. She likes to have fake boxing matches when I'm around and she always has some new baked snack at the ready. Lately, she's been a little flirty with me. It's possible she might just be having fun, but a shameful part of me hopes not. (I think you all know that part. The one that wills the desired person to suddenly, telepathically, understand that you want to fuck them all over the house without you having to articulate it.)\n\nI don't know for sure if she would be up for it. Hell, I don't know for sure if *I* would be up for it. My friend is more like a brother to me now, and his family is pretty much mine as well. I couldn't really tell you if they'd be cool with it or if my head would adorn a pike and I'm not sure I want to risk over a decade of friendship for sex; no matter how winkish that freckled, slender cutie gets.", "summary": "I want to scoop up my best friend's 19-year-old sister in my arms and make love to her until we die of exhaustion."} {"id": "t3_2bu15x", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "Tifu by molesting a handicapped strangers face", "post": "Ok so here goes.\nIt was a fairly lazy Saturday, got up at noon had a meeting at the bank. Then I decided to check out a movie at the local Indi theatre, they were playing \"the double\" which I'd wanted to see for a while. \n\nI was a bit later than expected getting to the theatre probably around 10 minutes late for the film. It so happened to be a fairly sunny day outside as well so when I rushed in paid for my ticket and hurried into the theatre to find a seat I was basically blind.\n\nStumbling down the pitch black theatre squinting trying to find a seat I put my hand out to brace myself on a seat. Turns out it was a man in a wheelchairs face, his right eye and part of his mouth to be exact and of course a bright preview comes on just as my hand lands on him.\n\nHe screams out \"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING\" I (in complete shock) reel back in terror and stammer out \"my god I'm so sorry sir\". The rest of the audience erupts in a symphony of \"shhhhhhhh\". The man in the wheelchair tells me to \"fuck off\" gives me the finger and I quickly find a seat.\n\nThank God the movie was good...\n\nAfter it was over I just faced forward stared at the credits and saw him roll by giving me this I will murder your face glare.", "summary": "showed up late to a movie, couldn't see a free seat, ended up hand raping a strange man in a wheelchairs face. The movie was great."} {"id": "t3_axsj6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Please tell me I did the right thing, Reddit!", "post": "I created an account because this is bothering me so much! I'm new at this, sorry if it's not in the right place.\n\nHere's the story, there's a couple who live in the apartment above my boyfriend and I. They fight almost daily, I've never heard people fight like they do. They throw things, we can hear things breaking, stomping up and down the halls and the most part of their screaming conversations. Tonight they got into a pretty huge fight and I heard the girl eventually yell \"Don't you dare fucking hit me again!\" then she screamed and ran down the hall into what would be their master bedroom. The guy yelled \"FUCK YOU\" and stomped after her. It freaked me out, I figured he was beating her so I called 911. Two cops came and they talked to the people upstairs for about 15 minutes and left. The boyfriend comes downstairs and apologizes to me, almost in tears, for all the noise and said it will never happen again and all that jazz. So tell me Reddit, did I do the right thing? I feel terrible for some reason, since the girl was probably not hurt, I'm guessing, and the boyfriend was so nice to me.", "summary": "I heard a couple fighting and what could have been the boyfriend beating the crap out of the girl, I called the cops. Girl must have been fine and the cops left. Did I do the right thing?"} {"id": "t3_4z2v7b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17M] am supposed to leave soon for university, and I am worried about what effect this will have on my relationship with my girlfriend [17F] of three years.", "post": "I am well aware that teenage relationships like ours do not tend to last, typically for this reason or reasons similar to it. My GF and I are very close, but between my own uncertainty as to whether I'm *in* love with her and the fact that I'll be leaving for an entirely different county soon, I'm left feeling unsure about the future and how best to protect her from heartbreak as much as possible, because she seems *very* invested in the relationship on account of severe issues with her self-esteem. Compared to other questions on this sub, this seems pretty insignificant, but I couldn't think where else to ask for some guidance from those who are more experienced with relationships than I am.", "summary": "I'm leaving for university soon; what does that mean for my relationship with my girlfriend, who I want to protect from being hurt by me?"} {"id": "t3_2lj4kn", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm [28/M] thinking about trying to reconnect with an ex [26/F] whom I broke up with 5-6 years ago.", "post": "We dated for about 2.5 years and has been by far my longest relationship as well as the only 'real' one. When I broke up with her my reasoning at the time was that I had feelings for another woman, I thought it wasn't fair to my ex to continue the relationship if I felt that way. It also seemed like she \"wasn't the one\". It's been years since then I still think of her from time to time. A lot of: was my reasoning right, did I make the right choice, regrets about what happened. \n \nAbout 3 or so years after the breakup I decided, after being given the idea, to write a letter. One of those where you simply write what you feel with no intention of sending it. And I didn't, for a few months. After a while though I felt that I needed to say these things to her. So I sent her an email, basically apologizing and telling her she did nothing wrong, etc, etc. Now its been a few years since then and my thoughts still drift to her. \n \nThis past summer I nearly killed myself but ended up getting help instead. Since then I've started medication that finally works for my depression and have just started group therapy for anxiety. I've even quit smoking pot. For the first time in over a decade I feel like I'm getting better instead of worse. Anyways, today while cleaning I came across some old photographs and notes/cards, and could see/read how happy we both were. I've been thinking a great deal about trying to reconnect, not necessarily to get back together, but maybe to become friends? Or at least chat via email, I dunno. Maybe I'm just getting nostalgic, or maybe how I was then led me to making the wrong decision. \n \nShould I even bother contacting her? Am I just kidding myself? Sometimes I think I watch too many shows/movies where everything works out in the end and I'm hoping for that here.", "summary": "Broke up with gf, years later still think about her. Should I bother trying to reconnect? Evan as friends?"} {"id": "t3_1qcv6i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22/M] have been with my GF [22/F] for a year and 4 months and I have such an urge to leave her sometimes...", "post": "We have our problems, like any other relationship. She has severe social anxiety and OCD. She doesn't enjoy being in rooms with a lot of other people. She doesn't enjoy parties or going out too much, which I do. So it leads to tension. \n\nShe doesn't want me to leave her alone but I don't want to stay in the house all the time. When I go to visit friends, she'll text me before I even arrive, asking if I can come home. And when I tell her I'm not ready to come back, she'll get angry and things get even more tense.\n\nShe doesn't enjoy sex that much, unless I focus on her. She doesn't want to put forth the effort to do anything for me, which makes me angry and a bit sad. Sad that we can't share in that. She's told me she doesn't get much out of sex so what's the point?\n\nWe have our good days. We have our bad days. The bad days seem to outnumber the good. But, however bad it is, when I look at her, I get happy and think, how could I have considered leaving? But then, a short time passes and we're arguing because I haven't done the dishes when she wanted them done or I've done something that aggravated her.\n\nI love her, but I don't know if I can live my life with so much tension and unhappiness. I can't leave my home without her getting mad at me for doing so. I've said that I won't leave someone because they are ill, and she is. She has a mental illness. It's so hard. I don't know what to do or what to think. I really just want someone who can relate and hear what they've done or are doing because I don't know how much longer I can last. Please help..", "summary": "GF has anxiety and OCD which causes us to have a lot of tension. I'm unhappy but love her. How do I handle this? How can I improve the situation before our relationship explodes?"} {"id": "t3_3vkv96", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21F] Friend [22F] is Abusive to her BF [22M] and it Pisses Me Off", "post": "One of my close friends has been dating this guy for like 6 months, she treats him poorly and it bothers me. She talks to him in a really condescending way and she's really demanding, she expects him to do every single thing for her, and she's slapped him several times. And that's just that I've seen, I'm sure she's done it more when I'm not around, and maybe even worse than slapping. I'm a really caring person, probably almost to a detriment, so I'm quite concerned and I have talked to him once before about their relationship and how she treats him. And she found out about that and got pissed at me, accusing me of trying to get him to cheat on her with me and stuff. I want to talk to my friend about it too, maybe she doesn't realize what she's doing? I feel really intimidated by her though and I don't know how to talk to her about it because she'll get defensive and start saying I'm insulting her or something.", "summary": "My friend is abusive to her boyfriend and it bothers me, I've talked to him about it before and she got mad at me. I want to talk to her about it."} {"id": "t3_4xb3nm", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (23F) made out with a friend of a friend (20M), is it a bad idea to go after him?", "post": "I meet a group of friends of a friend a couple of weeks ago. I kept hanging around this guy and we ended up making out. He started it, but he was also pretty wasted. We ended up following each other on instagram afterwards and we do have each other's number but haven't talked ever since. My friend invited me to hang out with them all again this Saturday.\n\nI feel like he's out of my league and I don't want to come across as the \"desperate chick that thought I was into her ugh gross\" because the word spreads. He's one of these cool skater guys going to a private uni to study art, and I'm the public school, studying law with a scholarship kind of chick. Meaning, probably not his type. I don't even have a tattoo.\n\nI'd like to find out if he's sorta into me or not because for all I know he mistook me for someone else, and gauge my chances with him. But I also fear meeting again is going to be super awkward and all he and all his friends are going to judge me and realize I'm into him and talk crap and humilliate me. I don't want/need to date him but maybe \"get to know each other better\" or whatever it is that people do. Make out more. Maybe get laid. Not die.", "summary": "kissed a friend of a friend, he was wasted, do I have any chance at all with him or nah."} {"id": "t3_wfu7d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Would or do you snoop on your SO or roommates computer?", "post": "My GF lives with one other girl and three guy roommates (I am not one of them). She leaves her room unlocked/open when she leaves the house. I've asked if she has her computer log in pw protected and she said no. So I asked her if she thought any of the guys in the house would look at her pc while she is away and she was confident they would not (she very much dislikes one of them and he knows it). My opinion is it's human nature to be curious about something that is easily accessible. She is very pretty/sexy and we have exchanged sexy pics/emails/chats so I know she has things I would love to see if I didn't know her. Not saying they would access her PC for evil reasons but sneak a peak just out of curiosity. Hate to say it, think I probably would. Would you?", "summary": "My GF leaves her room unlocked with 3 guy roommates and am concerned human curiosity would get the best of them and they would get on her computer to snoop around. Would you? Do you?"} {"id": "t3_1b08hq", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "We (F/24, M/26) broke up a week ago. I can't stop having dreams about us getting back together & immediately getting married.", "post": "Three year relationship with multiple breaks. I've had my heart broken by him so many times that this is the final straw for me. Sometimes I feel sad about the breakup, other times I feel fine about it. But every single night for the past week I've dreamt about him & it's always him coming to apologize about how we broke up and to ask me to marry him. \n\nThis is driving me up a wall. I'm going a little insane from it. I thought this guy was \"the one\" but us breaking up multiple times throughout our relationship tells me he isn't. I really, really want to try and work through this and get over it on my own terms, but these dreams are making it very difficult. I wake up feeling pretty sad and like I don't want to get out of bed. I know this could probably just be my sub-conscious telling me what I had hoped would happen between us, but this is very hard to deal with. \n\nGoing from making plans & a future together with this man to having everything ripped out from under my feet hasn't been easy. How can I better cope with this? I've had breakups before, but this was my most serious relationship and it's rough. I know this isn't a lot of detail, but I'd be writing an entire book if I included the multiple ups and downs we've been through. I'd appreciate anyone's advice. Thanks.", "summary": "Three year relationship with a lot of ups & downs, been broken up for a week & I keep having dreams about us getting married. How do I let this go & move on from it?"} {"id": "t3_2n8u1t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [38 M] with my cousins and friends [30's], trying to figure out why they are being rude to me or is this just a part of life.", "post": "So i've invited my cousins to events, either that i've had or events I go to. I either text them or send/write messages on Facebook and they never reply. The girl is always complaining about how she can't meet the right man and I invite her to hang out with my friends. I have no problem if she says no, but she never even acknowledges that I even sent her a message. Her brother is the same way. My male cousin has 3 kids, and I understand that\n\nWe used to all be close when we were young, and I would always invite them to my house to hang out. I noticed that they never invited me to come over to their house, and that bothered me. My brother [33] also noticed this. So now it seems like they are only interested in meeting up on Thanksgiving/Xmas. They only recently(maybe 4 years ago) started being interested in meeting up for the holidays. So for the holidays we \"made\" our own family with friends, and it's been a tradition for a while now. I actually like hanging out with my friends during holidays more than my actual family, and i feel guilty about this but I don't want to.\n\nAlso some people I have been really close with have basically ended contact with me after marriage/kids. I understand that this sometimes happens, but I figured family is supposed to be close.", "summary": "Family and friends stopped being close to me is it something I need to stress over or just keep doing as im doing?"} {"id": "t3_3m4858", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/M] My GF [27/f] Wants time alone,I'm austistic, What am i suposed to do?", "post": "So this relationship has been going on for 2 years, We've had some problems so i went for a trip, seeing my family and such for a couple of weeks and things were much better when i got home between us.\nNow, things are still much better than before, but see told me today she didn't want things to go back as before and that she is overworked, needs some time alone to regain energy. I understand that. I'm unemployed and she's asking me to hurry up getting a job. I'm searching everyday, but the thing is, even if i got a job from 9-5, She still works (her own business) to 7-8 everyday. So i would still be home when she got home. So what am i supose to do to give her some alone time? I can't go out everynight to a bar. And going on another trip i can't afford.", "summary": "My GF Wants time alone to regain energy in the evenings, I dont know what to do alone in the evenings."} {"id": "t3_hsj6d", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Rented a vacation house and the owner is trying to scam us with the security deposit", "post": "Hey reddit,\nmy gf and I are having an hard time after we rented a vacation home for 4 days in Pocono last week (Memorial day).\nWe paid (by check) the full amount including 150$ of security deposit.\n\nThe house was supposed to have a working hot tub. When we got there we noticed that the tub was making a loud noise and reported an error (FL1) on the screen. \nAlso, there were stains on the carpets pretty much every 3-4 ft. Those stains were clearly old.\n\nSo the first day we contacted the owner by email (and phone, but she ignored the calls) letting her know that the hot tub wasn't working. In the contract is written that they would provide maintenance for the hot tub, and they didn't.\nWe clearly told them that we choose this house (more expensive) just because we wanted an hot tub (fun fun fun) so we requested also at least 100$ back from the total rental price.\n\nWe tried for a week to contact the owners (4 different phone numbers and by email) but they of course ignored us. Today she sent us images (dated 2 DAYS after we checked out of the property) from the cleaning crew showing that the hot tub cover was moved (never touched the thing since it wasn't even working, and there were storms the nights after we left - so it could have been moved by wind/heavy rain) and showing stains that were already there when we got in. Also, those stains pictured are from a bedroom on the second floor which we didn't even use, and opened only the first day to check it out, leaving it closed for the remaining of the trip.\n\nSo, I checked online for her name and I found other people complaining about the SAME house and SAME owner, doing the same thing to them: scamming the security deposit.\n\nI don't care about the 150$ so much, I just want to see those scumbags burn in the fire of the law. What can I and should I do now?\nI was thinking to call the PA District Attorney, but that's as far as I know about law...\nAny help, reddit?", "summary": "Recidive scammer landlord is trying to scam us by not giving us the security deposit back. How can we kick his ass with the law-boot?"} {"id": "t3_2xof4i", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being the snitch", "post": "This hurts to even say, and it's going down right now.\n\nSo my boss is sometimes super cool and sometimes he can be the biggest asshole ever. It in turn makes staff not want to talk to him about things, in fear of how he's going to react. \n\nI used to be Assistant Manager, but I'm moving so they hired a new AM and I stepped down so she could get trained in for the last month. I'm stuck doing these horrid but easy opening shifts (3:30am-10ish). I love my coworkers and I'm pretty close with a few of them.\n\nI get a text at 11pm asking if I want to come out to the bar with 3 of them. I'm out cold, dead to the world in my bed. I thought it was funny that they asked me that late, knowing I open. I just laughed went back to sleep.\n\nNext day at work, boss comes in and we're just chatting. I casually (and stupidly) mention I got a text from them asking to bar it up. Didn't think it was a big deal, he knows people hang out outside of work. Well he takes this and RUNS. I knew I fucked up immediately with the look on his face. He's freaking out because they're going to let it affect work and blah blah. I'm like, \"dude, don't make this into something it's not.\" then we drop it.\n\nFast forward to now I'm sitting at home and I get a text, \"Guess who just tried to call in! HAH\" Yep. One of the coworkers tried to call in sick, the one that texted me. Great. JUST GREAT. So I immediately go into damage control and let her know what's happening. He told her not a chance to calling in, and that they need to have a serious talk. She then tells me actually IS sick, and it's not from being hung over. So from his point of view everything is unfolding EXACTLY how he thought. I feel like such a douche, but I just wasn't even thinking when I spoke. I'm usually the one that people confide in as well, and I never say stupid shit like this.", "summary": "I snitched on my coworkers saying they went out drinking to my boss. Coworker then tries calling in sick after a night of drinking. I am a terrible person."} {"id": "t3_3yzzy6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My son (12M w/Aspergers) can be... difficult. My husband of 1 yr (35M) gets angry, loses his temper. I'm (38F) at a loss.", "post": "Husband and I have been together for 2 years, married for 1. He's very sweet to me and we have a pretty good relationship. Arguments are infrequent, but a constant source of tension is his relationship with my kids.\n\nHe's always found it difficult to relate to my kids (10M, 12M), but moreso with my eldest because my eldest is not an easy child to deal with. He's just been diagnosed with Aspergers (something I'd suspected since he was a toddler, but that's another story). He can be whiney and doesn't let things go, which just comes off as spoiled. Except for a speech impediment, he appears totally neurotypical. \n\nSo, on to the reason for my post -- I just need a sanity check. \n\nTonight, we'd planned to take the kids with us to a party and it so happened that no other kids would be present. The kids were going to hang out and play", "summary": "My husband of 1 yr loses his temper (punching things, shouting, slamming doors) with my 12 year old son who has AS. Am I being overprotective or not protective enough?"} {"id": "t3_3gjhya", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[FL] Driving on a suspended license", "post": "This is my first post so if I leave any information out please let me know and I will update asap. \n\nEarlier today I was pulled over for driving on a suspended license. I was unaware of this as I had renewed my registration a month ago and only had an issue with an unpaid toll. The officer withheld my license and allowed my sister who was a passenger to drive us home (to which I am very thankful for, I am pretty sure I could have been arrested). I was given a ticket with a court date for driving with knowledge on a suspended license - 322.34(2). \n\nUpon arriving home I went online to determine the cause of this and found that I was given a red light violation ticket in February of this year. I had no idea this happened and contacted the Clerk office for that county immediately and found that I had not updated my address and as far as I can see the notices were being sent to an old address. \n\nDuring the conversation with the Clerk's office I found out that the vehicle that was photographed and ticketed belonged to my best friend who I had co-signed the car with. From what I recall I was the primary on the registration so his ticket violation was sent to me and was counted against my license. \n\nI have contacted an attorney, but I am hoping to avoid becoming a hypochondriac by reading too much into the potential consequences as I am no expert in this and this is my first real encounter with the law. Tomorrow morning I will be going to the DMV to pay the ticket and reinstate my license, but my main question is how badly could it go on my court date later this month? I am under no illusion that I will need to hire an attorney as this is considered a criminal offense.", "summary": "1. Vehicle that was ticketed for red light violation was a co-signed car that I was not in. Happened in February"} {"id": "t3_4hmqkt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [32 M] grandparents [early 80s] have been neglectful for their entire lives, now they want to make amends.", "post": "Said grandparents have three children. Their oldest, L, my aunt, their middle, M, my uncle and the youngest, S, my father.\n\nM has always been their favourite. He got in troubles when he was young, the one who always needed more money, the one who was always demanding, and getting all the attention.\n\nS, M, and L got older, got their own families, and M's child became the favourite grandkid, basically them acting as full time free baby sitters.\n\nLate 1980s entire family emigrated to a new country, with nothing but few items that can fit in a small car. Grandparents lived with us, but they continued to take care of my cousin while they lived us. When my parents finally talked to my uncle and said they cannot keep hosting my cousin anymore, as it's time for me to start school now and I'll need space to study etc. As the reaction, the grandparents left us too, to become in-house sitters at M's place.\n\nIn the meantime the pattern continued, with S, L, and their kids being ready to help when the grands needed any help, in turns the grands lending their full time help and even their savings to help M and his family.\n\nNow the grands are approaching the end of their lives, grandpa has lukemia, and some stupid money related matters, M's relationship with the entire family broke down. Only now the grands began to see their mistakes, and try to communicate more with me and my sister, both of us in our early 30s.\n\nThe problem is, I try to be a decent person and and visit them a few times a year (I live abroad), and have some communication, but at this point in time, I simply don't care about these people anymore. A few weeks ago they hugged my sister (yes, their granddaughter) and she froze with confusion because getting hugged by them was a completely alien feeling.\n\nI try to respect people appraching to the ends of their lives and trying to correct their decades of mistakes, but I'm not sure how I should approach them anymore.", "summary": "Neglectful grandparents want to make amends in their 80s, I don't personally care for them anymore but want to give them some chance at happiness."} {"id": "t3_13rrrm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [34M] am slowly falling for one of my best friends [22F]", "post": "Heyo, throwaway account here because I know she is a Redditor. About a year ago I [34M] met this girl [22F]. We met through a mutual friend and immediately hit it off. She was dating someone at the time so we just had a really good friendship. We talked a lot and had very similar viewpoints on life in general. I would consider her my best female friend at this point.\n\nAbout a month and a half ago she ended her relationship and we started becoming even closer. We now talk almost every day. We text throughout the day, every day. We make it a point to get together and hang out at least once a week. She has told me what she is looking for in a guy, and to be completely honest, I fit all of her criteria except two, one of which is age. She is looking for someone in their mid 20's. The other criteria is job security, which I am on the cusp of achieving as well, so that's not as big of a worry.\n\nWe talk about everything. She knows things about me that nobody else knows and I, in turn, know things about her that few people know. When we talk and hang out it is intimate and comfortable, and I have found myself really starting to have feelings for her that are more than just friendly. I don't know how she feels about me on that level, if anything at all, and am wondering if I should risk outing myself to her. I would hate to compromise the wonderful friendship we have, but we fit so well I would also hate to have missed a great opportunity here.", "summary": "I am falling for a very close friend. Should I risk telling her and possibly causing weirdness between us, jeopardizing our great relationship?"} {"id": "t3_4cddda", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU trying to taking pizza out of the oven", "post": "This happened about 20 minutes ago and my heart is still pounding. Had a craving for some deep dish pizza, so I decided to make one. Spent 2 hours making the dough and sauce and shredding the fresh mozzarella. It was going to be fantastic. I put it all together, then into the oven. Cut to 30 minutes later, when it is time to come out. Stupid me, thinks that it will be like taking a regular pizza out of the oven. NOPE! The entire contents of said pizza spill out, all over the oven and the door and my kitchen floor. This is when things started to get fun. The spill sent a giant whoosh of steam out into my apartment, resulting in the smoke detector going off, causing my dog to start freaking out. I quickly run over to the smoke detector to turn that off, but thats when then dog stops barking and notices the massive pile is hot cheese and meaty tomato sauce all over the floor. I run back to the oven attempting to get him away from the spill (luckily he is small so I can easily over power him) but that's when he starts barking again. I guess he was pissed that I didn't let him eat the cheese. Ended up sitting on the floor of my kitchen with one leg stretched out keeping the dog away while attempting to clean up as much of the cheesy spill as I can without burning myself in the oven that had just been set at 425 degrees. Worst part of the whole experience is, I don't even get to satisfy my craving for deep dish pizza now. It's just crust with essence of toppings.", "summary": "Wanted to make a deep dish pizza but spilled cheesy, saucy innards while taking it out of the oven, resulting in mayhem....and no pizza for dinner."} {"id": "t3_2ize8b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [28M] am attracted to a colleague [25F], but I don't want to be.", "post": "I am an idiot who doesn't learn from his mistakes. There. I said it.\n\nI tend to fall in love too easily. The problem has been somewhat reduced since I started working out a couple years ago, and my self esteem grew immensely.\n\nBut I still feel myself falling down that path where I fall in love, then get desperate for reciprocation.\n\nI'm not all the way there yet (which I think is a huge improvement), but I'm definitely on my way there. And I need to get out of it.\n\nEven if I go for it, and she reciprocates, it's probably not the best of ideas, because if it goes to shit, there's no distance to be had. We'd see eachother every day. \n\nThis was a huge problem when the same thing happened at uni. I was in a relationship with a girl from, not only my class, but my workgroup. Because that's the kind of top shelf idiot I am. It ended, as it had to, because I had no self esteem and was clingy. Afterwards, I had a hard time getting over her because there she was, every god damn day.\n\nThis seems to me like exactly the same trap. \n\nI don't want to be an asshole to her either. She's nice. And also, we work together.\n\nHow should I go about getting out of it before it happens?\n\nThanks for reading, and bigger thanks for any advice!", "summary": "I fall in love too easily, and now I have an attractive colleague. How do I avoid falling in love with her without being an asshole? Been in this situation before, and it wasn't good."} {"id": "t3_3o1g5y", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Trying to get back on track.", "post": "Alright. Here is my story.\n\nLast January i did the ideal protein diet (diet through local chiropractor, limits carbs like crazy. Was having like maybe 30-40 carbs a day. Rough estimate.) I lost 40 pounds. My problem was that I didn't phase off properly and then I totally screwed myself up - starting binge eating and getting back into my old habits. Feeling pretty crappy. Horrible binges. \n\nI've attempted to actually get back on the diet like three times but im realizing its just throwing me back into the binge cycle again. This issue has been on and off since may. I've gained maybe 10-12pounds back. However lately ive been trying to eat better and exercise. I got myfitnesspal and log my food. This was actually the first day i started to utilize it. It tells me i need to eat 1200 calories a day to reach my goal. So Im aiming for that everyday.\n\nI've been to the gym twice this week and got myself acquainted with the treadmill and some weight machines. I just feel like a need some sort of direction. Like what my diet is supposed to be like/ what my work outs should focus on. \nMore specifically, my diet. I want to count calories mainly instead of strictly limiting my carbs - I feel like that's what led to my excessive binges.", "summary": "if anyone would be open to giving me suggestions for weight loss by calorie counting or something- I'd be glad to chat. "} {"id": "t3_1j95s9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "26/F (ME!) greatly struggling to get over ex (25/M) even after lots of time and a new relationship", "post": "I am not sure if I am looking for advice or just some reassurance here, but here goes. Two years ago, I was in a relationship that I was very happy with--it did have its issues, as all relationships do, don't get me wrong--and saw lasting pretty much forever. Marriage, children, the whole shebang. It was a long distance relationship and on one fateful Tuesday night, completely out of the blue, he broke up with me via Facebook (we rarely ever communicated that way) and then literally never spoke to me again until just recently, again via a Facebook message. I had come to accept that I would likely never hear from him again after many unanswered attempts to contact him, and was proud of myself for responding with just a short \"thank you and hope you are well\" message rather than delving in to all of the emotions I felt upon receiving it.\n\nI have been patient with myself because I know that the circumstances warranted a longer \"recovery\" period before being ready to move on, but there is still rarely a day that goes by that I don't think of him or his family. Sometimes I feel truly overwhelmed with sadness and/or anxiety when I think of him, especially if it crosses my mind that he may be getting married or having children with someone else. It is all I can do to not look him up on Facebook--the only way I'd know now to contact him--and send him some pathetic message about still being in love with him.\n\nI am an independent person, I have started a career, traveled, dated other people, and still I feel this way. Is there anyone else out there who understands this or has suggestions about how to cope? I feel so alone in it.", "summary": "My life is continuing after a breakup two years ago but I still often feel overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety. Looking for support."} {"id": "t3_3q1cga", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "She suddenly stopped talking to me after years of friendship. What does it mean and why is she doing this? [18m] [18f]", "post": "after transferring to Boston, I went to school with this girl for 3 years, and its our last year before I leave to California. I've been always close to her as a friend almost her only close guy friend. Ever since I confessed and got rejected, things became awkward, but settled down really quickly and we were good friends again. \n\nBack to our old relationship, its only been weeks since I noticed her changed behavior to me. She won't initiate conversations anymore, look at me, or anything. Rarely when we come across, she simply says Hi or Bye and walks away. Hate isn't a good word, but more of discomfort and distanced feel.\nWhy did this happen? What does this mean for her? I'm having really hard time figuring out what I did wrong..\n\nI thought it might've been the stress of college applications, but she gets along with few other guys. (I would know, because she showed me that type of behavior)", "summary": "best friend with a girl. after a short rejection that passed super quickly and returned to normal relationship, she suddenly stopped talking to me/texting me."} {"id": "t3_27jfem", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Just broke up with my [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of 6 months, want to know if I was too hard during the breakup.", "post": "We had only been dating for six months, and I'm honestly doing fine, but I want to get an outside perspective on how I acted during the break-up, I really didn't want to be rude, but I am worried I might have been. \n\nFirst of all, it was her decision to break up. When she expressed how she felt, she asked if we could take a short break to see how it went, and I (having a lot going on currently) said I couldn't handle worrying about the future at the current time, and so I said if this is how she feels then it would be better just to end things. \n\nShe asked multiple times throughout the conversation if we could remain friends, and I told her she needed to give me space after the break-up, and that I could make no guarantees, although after I had some time I would at least try. Am I wrong for not wanting to remain friends, I have no animosity towards her, just think it wouldn't be healthy to immediately try and start a friendship with her.", "summary": "Girlfriend wanted to take a break for a few weeks, I said I would rather just end things than worry about it, and said that I needed some space when she asked if we could remain friends."} {"id": "t3_3ha9xx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting that I had fish oil pills in my pocket before doing laundry.", "post": "So I'm on this healthy kick. I'm running a lot more, drinking at least a gallon a day and taking vitamins to supplement what I may miss in meals. One of supplements I'm taking is fish oil pills.\nOn this day, I was busy at work so I grab a my supplements to include the fish oil, a bottle of water and left the office with the intentions on consuming everything once I was in my car.\n\nWell, I forgot! I took off my clothes from work and put them in the hamper. The next morning I put the clothes from work in the wash. I forgot that I had left the fish oil in the pockets. \n\nWhen I got home: \nWife: \"What did you put in the laundry? There's a weird smell coming from that area.\" \n\nMe: \"Just a load of clothes\" and I went back to check it out. I smelled the same weird smell. But had no idea where it came from. \n\nWife: \"I put the clothes in the dryer\".\n\nWell, after drying clothes I like to smell the fresh laundry smell. I took the load out and 1 whiff and I instantly knew what happened. My whole load of clothes smelled like rotted fish!\n\nNow I'm washing them over and over hoping I can get the smell out.", "summary": "TIFU by washing clothes with a fish oil pills in the pocket. Now I'm on the 3rd cycle of washing to get the smell out."} {"id": "t3_2jfp6j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24M] with my ex [23F] of 3 years, she sent me a big bag of bad etiquette.", "post": "After the breakup, I sent her, via mutual friends, a bag of her stuff that she left at my house. She sent in return, a bag of gifts I gave to her, including a t-shirt which still stunk of her sweat. Couldn't even launder it before sending it back. I know I didn't send her any dirty clothes.\n\nFurthermore, she didn't send ALL the gifts I gave to her, just, I guess, the ones she didn't want.\n\nIs she trying to make me feel even worse? Does she not understand breakup etiquette? Do I not understand it? Am I missing something here? Am I warranted in feeling so insulted or am I just looking for something to be mad about because I'm so hurt by the breakup itself?", "summary": "ex sent me a big bag of gifts I gave to her over the years, including a dirty t-shirt (no, it wasn't dirty when I gave it to her)."} {"id": "t3_1yo8im", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of 2 years, just found out he's nearly a billionaire.", "post": "I've been dating my boyfriend for a while now. Around 2 and a half years. \n \nAll this time he's been lying to me though. He's basically been keeping his wealth hidden and pretending to work while I've worked my ass off every day. \n \nWe moved in together about half a year ago and I quickly noticed that he spent money often and on a lot of stupid stuff. I just thought he was bad with money, but he never seemed to run out and always seemed to be happy to pay for stuff when I let him. \n \nAnyways, I thought he always worked part time at some small computer shop across town. As it turns out, he does, but he just does it for fun since he doesn't really need money. \nAlso, he actually OWNS this computer shop. \n \nHe told me this today while also admitting that he's got something like 870 million in his name. \n \nI'll admit I googled his name once or twice, but it was essentially a failure since he's got a really common name shared with a bunch of people. Once I googled how he earned his money, I basically confirmed that he is actually rich as shit. \n \nHe says he did it because he wanted to make sure I didn't like him just for his money, which I get completely. I just can't get rid of that feeling that I've been lied to for our entire relationship. \n \nHow do I move past this? Is it alright for me to be upset?", "summary": "Boyfriend kept his wealth hidden from me by lying, is it OK in this situation? How do I move past it?"} {"id": "t3_1o8puw", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Constant knee pain, should I see a doctor or just stop running?", "post": "Near the end of February I decided to start losing weight (was 280lbs, 5'10\", male) and take up running. I started, religiously followed and complete C25k without a hitch. I've had neither shin splints nor pulled or strained muscles whatsoever.\n\nI'm down to 195lbs due mostly to diet and have been holding solid there for a month now. I've also been regularly running three times a week between 12 and 16 miles a week. It feels great to get out and run, I love it! But... my knees hurt, like, _all the time_ and they've been feeling this way for a couple months. I can't squat down without grabbing on to something to keep me from falling, like leaning on the table as I sit down to supper, or holding on to the toilet seat as I lower myself on to it.\n\nI've taken a week off running and the pain stops. After two weeks off the pain is all but totally gone. I'll regain the ability to squat down without bracing myself, etc. But then when I start running again the pain comes back _immediately_ (within 50 yards) to the point of me wanting to just stop running at that moment. If I power through the first mile the pain lessens a bit until I stop at which point I limp. I'm thinking my body starts to limber up and then release endorphin which might mask the pain a bit.\n\nThe pain is consistent if I stretch after the run or not.\n\nThe knee pain is above my kneecap, and somewhat behind it so I'm thinking runner's knee... but at 12 miles a week? I mean, that's three days of 30 minutes easy jogging, can't really \"cut back\" more than that :/", "summary": "1. Is some ache and pain normal for regular runners? I'm 34, so I'm not sure if age has anything to do with it. Maybe this is normal and no one talks about the constant aches?"} {"id": "t3_ylec4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Just got hired to teach social studies. They asked me to create/teach an elective of MY CHOICE. What elective does reddit think I should teach ?", "post": "I'm a social studies teacher with a background in acting, making films, obsession with hidden history/conspiracies, photography, current events, etc.\n\nMy school asked me to create a FUN and EXCITING elective class to teach 9-10th graders for one period a day.\nSo far I'm thinking about...\n\nLiving History - a class focused on historical simulations, reenactments, role playing, hands on activities (butter churning, etc best example off top of my head)\n\nHistory Through Film - Analyze historical Hollywood films and other films; determining what is accurate and what is not. Students can also create their own short films which they believe are more accurate in terms of the facts.\n\nHistoriography (study of what, who, why of history) & Hidden History - Examine multiple sources (text books with different views) to determine what really happened, what's been omitted, etc.\n\nHistory of film.\n\nHistory of NYS.\n\nI'd like to weave in some sort of lesson about Tesla! And all that other stuff we should have learned about in HS. I want my students to crave more and more. I want them to QUESTION EVERYTHING. Anyway I appreciate any feedback I can get.\nRight now I'm overwhelmed but excited. Let's hear those ideas! Thanks.", "summary": "New teacher asked to teach/create new elective class. Ideas: hidden history, history through film, movie making, media, etc. Looking for more ideas."} {"id": "t3_3dr3dr", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by taking my cousin's dog out to use the bathroom.", "post": "This happened a few days ago. Now before I begin, let me give you some background, first: I recently moved in with my cousin (my dad's 32-year-old nephew), his girlfriend, and their 2-year-old daughter down south in the same city I live in, and he has this dog that my brother used to take care of. He keeps him in the back porch, and we would just open the back door to let him outside. [Here's a picture of him.](\n\nSo anyways, my cousin asked me to let the dog outside to use the bathroom, and I did. When he was done, I called him back inside, and he starts running around instead. So I ran back in, grabbed one of his toys, and ran back out, but he had run off to the front. Shit. I sprint over there, and see him coming up the sidewalk. So I wave his toy around to get his attention, and it doesn't work at first, but after a few seconds he starts following me back into the porch, and I shut and lock the door.\n\nAbout two minutes later, I'm taking out the trash, and as I'm walking up the stairs to go back into the house, I hear a gruff male voice call over to me. I froze halfway up the steps, then slowly turn my head to see this man who looks 40 something walking up to me, and his face looked pissed. He asks me if that was my dog, and I tell him it's my cousin's dog and ask why. It turned out when he ran to the front of the house, the man and his wife were walking by, and the dog chased the wife down the sidewalk. (The man also said she was screaming, so she thought he would bite, but he doesn't, and they wouldn't know that.)\n\nMy cousin wasn't too happy with me when he heard the news, and he had to go with the man to his wife and apologize. Let's just say, I felt really bad and embarrassed.", "summary": "Let my cousin's dog out to use the bathroom, he ran to the front of the house and chased a woman down the sidewalk."} {"id": "t3_2ike8t", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by knowing how to fix an iPod", "post": "This started last year, and is now becoming a trend with this little girl.\n\nAbout a year ago, my co-worker came to me asking if I know someone that knows how to fix iPods. I ask why and she tells me her daughter broke hers. She made it seems like the iPod was in total shambles, as if the glass separated from the screen and the battery was duct-taped in and you had to use a .7mm led pencil to change over the locked button to unlock (I had a friend that had to do this). Turned out, she cracked her screen. No Biggie.\n\nI tell her to just leave it with me and give me a week and she'll have it back. Ordered a new digitizer and screen assembly online, swapped the parts, and made sure it worked. The kid was ecstatic, jumping up and down, ear to ear grin, she could listen to Justin Bieler, Juan Direction again. A week went by and it happened again. Fixed it, kids happy as a clam. A month goes by, and the kid breaks it again...I buy a screen and otterbox case for her and it lasts about 10 months. \n\nNow she really fucked this thing up it looks like a semi-truck ran it over, twice. The LCD screen is actually bleeding and the chassis is a little tweaked. Plus the grey otterbox case she had is now black. I buy two digitizer assemblies and another ottorbox case. Bent the chassis back, replaced the broken parts and it looks like the first time I changed the screen out. The mom's happy she doesn't need to buy a new ipod, the kid can't stop smiling. Everyone's happy.\n\nToday, I get four ipods at my desk. The little girl broke her screen again and her moms friend brought me three ipods her son broke. I'm the ipod repairman now...I'm probably going to charge this other lady. :/", "summary": "Coworkers daughter breaks ipod's screen numerous times to which I repaired it over the year and today I get that ipod back for the same repair, plus three others that have the same issue from her moms friend."} {"id": "t3_ocvrr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I need your help Reddit. I'm getting screwed by American Family Insurance.", "post": "I need your help Reddit.\n\nI was recently in a car accident where the other driver was at fault. They turned through a stopped lane of traffic turning into a parking lot and hit me in the second lane. Their insurance agency accepted fault for the accident. They arranged for me to get a rental car and are paying for the auto body repair at the shop my dealer recommended. \n\nNow here is where I ran into a problem. \n\nI have limited liability insurance on my car because I worked like a boss and saved my money up and paid for it out right so I would not go into debt. I took the risk of not covering the cost of damage to my car for when I am at fault because I have a clean record of driving and am willing to replace my car with a Junker if I wreck it. The amount I have saved not covering my car is enough to buy a replacement car. Anyways, when I picked up the rental car that the at fault insurance company (American Family) paid for, I had to sign for the coverage that the rental company (Enterprise) offers, and is $13 a day, since I do not have full coverage. Makes since. I contacted the at fault insurance company (American Family) and explained this to them and explained that this expense is a result of the accident that their client caused and that they should take responsibility. They flat out said they understand why they should pay for it but they do not have to. My car will not be out of the shop for another 2 weeks and I will end up getting stuck with a $300 and something bill for the insurance. \n\nI am a student and just paid for classes and have to pick up books this week and can not afford this. Please tell me if I have any options. The logic of how they can get away with out paying for this escapes me. By the way, my insurance company pays for rental insurance when their client is at fault.", "summary": "American Family Insurance is screwing me with a $300 bill for rental insurance that was needed due to their client hitting my car."} {"id": "t3_2h6oee", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 F] and Other Guy [21 M]. Don't know how to approach him with my feelings.", "post": "Hi guys! I'm really fumbling with this guy I know. Let's call him Greg. Greg is the chairman for a local convention run by my college. But I didn't really get to know him during my first year. But now we're living in the same dorm hall, so I see him almost every day.\n\nWe've only really made small talk, but he's really cute and from what I've heard and noticed about him, he's really hardworking and ambitious and we both have the same major. But other than that, most of our interests aren't identical. We like anime....but we like different genres. We like games, but I don't play a variety of games anymore. I mostly stick to just 2 or 3. He likes Magic the Gathering, and I used to play it but I stopped because cards are expensive. So in conclusion, at this point I'm interested in a relationship, but before I jump in I would like to get to know him more without other people around.\n\nMy close circle of friends have been making suggestions and helping me stay coherent through this since I'm not very well versed on crushes in general. My inner gut was telling me to approach him and say, \"Hey, I have a crush on you. But I want to get to know you. Is it okay if I can work on homework with you this weekend?\" There's one part of my friends that suggest the straightforward approach is the best, but another faction has suggested I take things slow and let him figure out that I have a crush on him before I actually tell him.\n\nI need your help reddit. I'm a floundering mess, and I feel like I'm going to burst. Any and all help is appreciated! :D", "summary": "Crushing on a guy at college; we don't have much surface interests in common, but I think he's interesting and have developed feelings for him. Need help with how to break the news to him."} {"id": "t3_2tp1i4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20/M] called my girlfriend [18/F] a cunt. Apparently this is a huge no-no. I feel like I was provoked. Am I wrong?", "post": "I recently got over a rough patch. Adult life proved a little tough for me but I'm back on track. I get my first check from my new job Friday and am having some issues with my bank. I mentioned that it was inconvenient that valentines day was right around the corner considering everything and she \"we don't have to do it.\"\n\nI thought that was a little much and said it'd be fine. I wasn't meaning for her to take it that way. Apologized for the misunderstanding but she continued to be short with me so I asked what was wrong. She says I don't have to be a douche about it and it made her feel like shit. So I apologized again and she just didn't let it die. We text back and forth for a few minutes about it. She calls me a douche and an asshole and finally gives me a \"k\" reply. I reply \"Cunt\" and it just blows up.\n\nHow can she sit there and call me an asshole but the second I retaliate I've gone too far? This whole thing is childish. Am I in the wrong?", "summary": "Argument over misunderstanding about valentines day. she calls me a douche/asshole. I call her a cunt. Suddenly too far."} {"id": "t3_1abg3l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [m, 24] Found out my gf [f, 23] mainly watches porn where the woman is cheating on her husband/boyfriend--should I be worried?", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now. Lately she's been acting differently. In the beginning of our relationship, we were having a lot of sex, but in the past month or two it has decreased to about every other day. She's chalked it up to being extra busy with school and work, but it felt pretty abrupt to me. Now, I know I should not have done this\u2014but I became worried that she was cheating on me, so I quickly went through her browser history. We both watch porn, sometimes even together. But what I found was a little shocking: the majority of the porn she watches consists of women cheating on their spouses, oftentimes with ex-boyfriends. Does this mean she is thinking about cheating on me? I didn't find any evidence that she is cheating on me, but what I found makes me feel like she wants to. Should I bring this up to her? Is this a big red flag, or am I overreacting?", "summary": "gf mainly watches porn that involves the woman cheating on her SO, now I'm worried she wants to cheat on me. Am I overreacting? Should I confront her?"} {"id": "t3_30dq5z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (22/f) depressed s/of (25/m) of 2.5 years doesn't know if he wants relationship", "post": "cross posted this to /r/depression\n\nMy s/o of 2.5 years has been depressed the whole time we've been together. I went through major depression my teen years and have recently just felt better about life I guess in the past year. He's always super negative and pessimistic and it gets taken out on me sometimes.\n\nHe's been acting really weird lately and it all came to a head last night. I decided to talk to him about it, and he said he needs some time off. He said he doesn't feel as satisfied by our relationship anymore, and he's been unhappy for a long time in general. i already knew the second part. He's been suggesting in the past few months we move in together this fall when both our leases are up, and a few weeks ago we had a big talk where he told me I'm all he's ever wanted and he wants to build a life with me.\n\nHe was crying a lot and saying he didn't think he was cut out for a relationship but he cared about me and wanted me around. I told him he couldn't have both of those things, and he said he didn't want to lose me but he didn't know if he wanted a relationship. I've suggested therapy, exercise, changing his diet, doing something multiple times...he said he feels so alone and has always been this way and doesn't know how to be any other way. I'm giving him a few days of space but i don't know what's going to happen. I can't be with somebody who refuses to help themselves. I feel like I keep putting in all this effort and it's all for nothing. I don't want it to be over but I feel like his depression is too great and we've hit a wall. Has anyone else ever dealt with something like this? I feel like I understand what he's saying but I also feel so confused and alone. I feel like he's just giving up on us.", "summary": "s/o is depressed and feels like he is unfit for relationship. doesn't want to lose me but feels unsatisfied."} {"id": "t3_4za4wt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my boyfriend [26M], together 2 years, would you break up with someone because they are infertile?", "post": "We love each other and there haven't been any other major things to make me question our relationship before. I was excited to be moving in with him.\n\nHowever, recently I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I found out I was infertile, and he said he didn't know. I asked if he found out I was infertile right now and he said he would break up with me. \n\nI am extremely upset by this, I feel that if you truly love someone you would not leave them for something they can't control. He feels bad and says he can't help how he feels, and maybe it will change the longer we are together.\n\nHe says he would worry he wouldn't love an adopted child if it was my infertility stopping us having children, but not if it was his infertility. I cannot understand this at all. \n\nWe are due to move in together very soon, and this has made me question whether I can be with him, whereas before I felt so sure. \n\nAfter 2 years is it unreasonable to expect my boyfriend to stay with me if this happened?\n\nI don't even think I am infertile, it's just the principle of leaving someone for something they cant control that I have a problem with! \n\nI could never marry someone who felt unsure they would stay with me if this was the case. \n\nWhat would you do/what would you have done at this point in your relationship? \n\nDo you think his feeling are likely to change the longer we are together?", "summary": "If your boyfriend/girlfriend of 2 years said they would leave you if you were infertile, what would you do?"} {"id": "t3_4mq1b2", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Me [19/m] and this girl [18/F] fancy eachother alot, though there is a problem..", "post": ".. She has a boyfriend.\n\nI know for a fact that their relationship is more or less going downhill and that's fast.\n\nWe both went to the same school and we also just graduated. \nHow I know that she actually is interested is because when we crossed eachothers ways we usually had eye contact for far too long and if I would just say hello to her her face would just turn into a tomato instantly. You know, the usual signs.\n\nI wouldn't have been asking you guys for advice if it wasn't for her boyfriend, because I would have already put some effort in meeting her and stuff. The thing is that it feels so wrong to just ask her what she's up to this weekend because of her boyfriend, but at the same time I really want to go with this, I just want to not care at all about her boyfriend because I know that their relationship is toxic.\n\nWhat would you guys do? Maybe I should just wait and hope that she turns single soon enough?\n\nThanks alot", "summary": "Me and a girl like eachother, she has a boyfriend, I am clueless how to act because I don't want to mess with their relationship even though at the same time I just really want to spend time with her."} {"id": "t3_54wlp9", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "First relationship , is it over ?", "post": "So this is my first \"relationship\" we aren't labeling it but we go out on dates and do all that jazz .I met this girl a lil over a month ago, we had a rough moment about 2 weeks ago but after that things were great, for my birthday she got me presents(thoughtful and expensive) and we had a wonderful time , we've already had sex, our last date was this past Friday and it was also our 1 month , we had a good time and all felt great, she couldn't do anything Saturday because she had plans and I told her I had a weird feeling I wouldn't see her again. Like a really strong a gut feeling. She said we'd hang on Sunday after she's off from work. That's Saturday she went to a concert with a coworker (it's a guy) and after that concert her responses to my text seem stale and less emotional , we never hung out on Sunday and she never said anything about it , and this past Monday she hung out with someone (I think it was the same guy) and went to a local area where people usually go to make out , I know all sings are pointing to it but should I just move on? I want to talk to her and see if something I did upset her but she made it clear on our last date that she likes me and is attracted to me. I asked her if she'd wanna go out this weekend but she \"has plans\" so my final question I guess is , what should I do? Thank you \ud83d\ude4f", "summary": "I think my s/o is seeing someone else but has given no sign of unhappiness with me , what do?"} {"id": "t3_4mx7v0", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to break up a cat fight", "post": "Today I tried to break up a cat fight. It went terribly wrong. Growing up around dogs I learned to break up animal fights by making myself the alpha. Ie. Being loud and making myself larger. \n\nAnyways cats apparently don't like that much and they ran behind a couch. Me being me of course continues to chase these poor cats and end up ramming my head into a wall making a loud noise and causing both cats to run. One leap far away from me while the other literally flew towards a window, throwing himself at it while pissing himself because he was so scared. The same cat then preceded to attempt his breakout through two different windows. \n\nNeedless to say I learned my lesson and both cats are going to be getting a major petting session when they aren't scared shitless of me.", "summary": "Tried to break up a cat fight by running towards them yelling, ran into a wall and scared a cat so bad that he pissed himself as he ran into windows."} {"id": "t3_2a23r6", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Realistic goal for a four-week period?", "post": "Hello everyone! I'm getting married in four weeks, and would like to know what is a realistic goal for weight loss in that period. I'm 28F, 5'7\" CW 130. I try to net 1200 cal/day (doesn't always happen), weight train 2-3x/week, and cardio 3-4x/week. My goal is to increase the weight training and cardio and to reduce the amount of carbs/increase the lean protein I eat while maintaining the same net caloric intake. That said...what can I realistically expect to see four weeks from now? If it helps, I've been on the calorie controlled diet for over a year (with varying degrees of strictness--sometimes I stick to 1200, sometimes I don't), been at my CW for over a year, been doing the cardio and weights for about two whole months.", "summary": "How much can I realistically expect to lose in a four-week period with moderate exercise and 1200 cal/day net intake?"} {"id": "t3_2vj6uq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my wife [29F] two years, no anal-sex in bed. Got permission to seek it out there", "post": "We enjoy sex very much, but one thing I love very much(anal) she doesn't. All my partners before marriage had anal sex with me. \n\nWe are an open couple, my female friends join our bed occasionally on the weekend, or after few glasses of wine my wife like to watch me getting a blowjob. But Anal sex is off the table. \n\nShe even offered I will look someplace else for anal sex, she just won't do it. \nI don't bring this issue up anymore for quite sometime, but I am very much into anal. I don't fuck around(unless my wife is watching). I want bought strap on so she I will try my ass and I will try hers. \nOff the table. \n\nWhat shall I do? I won't put pressure on her, but I really miss anal sex. Shall I go fuck around?!\nI have no idea how to act....", "summary": "No anal sex, girls joining us is OK, me fucking others while she watches is OK. What shall I do? I have no clue and I need your opinion. Girls?what do you think?"} {"id": "t3_27zpra", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Would you rather work from home or have to go in every day but get a pay raise?", "post": "I have a wonderful job where I can work from home any time I want to. I usually go in 1-2x a week just for some face time, but my entire team works remotely. I love the people I work with and have no reason to *want* to leave.\n\nHowever, I have an opportunity for a new job where I potentially could get a pay raise from ~$80k (depending on my EOY bonus, it could be a little less or more) to $100k. It would be cool because it's the same company that my husband works for, and we wouldn't be working directly together so we wouldn't have an issue with our personal life getting in the way of work. I would be doing very similar stuff, but I would actually be working way more in this job. In my $80k job, I do about 15-20 hours of real work a week. In my $100k job, it would be closer to 30-40.", "summary": "I have an $80k job where I work from home but could get a very similar job for $100k but would have to go in every day"} {"id": "t3_1udubx", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [22/M] can't seem to get over my girlfriend's [25/F] past. What should I do?", "post": "We have been dating for about half a year now and I just can't seem to get over her past. One of the biggest things I can't get over is the fact that she used to have a friends-with-benefits sort of deal. She justified it as a rough patch in her life and that she would never do it again and that she's changed because she only did it because she wanted to feel loved by someone. The problem is, it was only about half a year ago when she ended this and I am having a hard time getting over it. We are each other's first and real boyfriend and girlfriend. I feel awful that I can't seem to get over her past and I have brought this up with her multiple times and she is comforting and says that she will do anything to earn my trust. I guess I just want some advice as to what I should do about my situation? I don't know what is wrong with me because we both agreed that we care for each other greatly and we are very emotional attached to each other. What are some ways I can learn to get over this paranoia that one day she will cheat on me?", "summary": "girlfriend has had a past I cannot stand, paranoid that she will cheat on me eventually, we are both very emotionally invested in each other, what do"} {"id": "t3_2fhqhp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my gf [30 F] of 2 months, still resolving ex issues", "post": "My gf of two moths is still in contact with her most recent ex. They text each other once about 2 weeks or so and she has told me that she never initiates contact. He usually reaches out for some assistance with an insurance policy that they were both part of and some visa issues (he is an international) that she was helping him with before they broke up.\n\nMy gf tells me she feels nothing for him and just being nice and not rude as he was there for her during a tough time. I have told her to end it period and at least maintain no contact for a few months. She thinks I am making a big deal out of it and giving the issue more weight than its worth.\n\nThoughts?", "summary": "Gf still in contact with most recent ex, acceptable? If not, how do I break it off without being demanding."} {"id": "t3_32fll9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17F] think my boyfriend [17M] of one year is a compulsive liar", "post": "This probably sounds like a really stupid problem, but it bothers me a lot and I honestly don't know what I can do about it. I've recently realised that my boyfriend lies about a lot of random little things, for example making fake posts on reddit or things about his past. He tries to justify this as \"telling stories\", and even when I clearly define a lie as trying to pass off something as the truth while stories are typically known to be made up, he refuses to acknowledge that what he's doing is any different than simply telling a story.\n\nI've tried confronting him about how he makes so many fake stories up on reddit, but he accuses me of being controlling and trying to change him or stop him from doing something that he enjoys (he considers this a hobby). He even goes to the extent of making multiple accounts to reply to his own posts if they don't get enough comments. He sends me his posts when he makes it to the hot page on reddit, and usually not a single occurrence that he writes about is close to anything that's actually happened to him. I know that he is happy about them gaining attention, but I feel like it's for all the wrong reasons. What bothers me even more is that he can't even admit that what he's doing is lying. This of course, is just one example of his lying.\n\nHe's a pretty good boyfriend in other areas, and of course he has other flaws but most of them don't bother me too much. For some reason this is just one thing I can't get over and can't think if any way to work around.\n\nI might be wrong to say he's a compulsive liar (he might not technically be), but what I mean to get across is that he lies a lot. It bothers me whenever I catch him in a lie, even if it is just a small one. It makes me feel like I can't really trust him on even the smallest of things, because if he can lie so easily to others, what's to stop him from doing it to me?", "summary": "My boyfriends lies a lot, in real life and on reddit. It bothers me more than anything else about him, and I've tried talking to him about it to no avail. I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_1nw3up", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (19F) have realized I am asexual. I'm in the beginning stages of dating a new guy (M22). When do I tell him?", "post": "I have finally realized I am Gray-A asexual (definition below) after a few years of wondering why I was so fucking weird and awkward. I'm comfortable with this identity and am sure this is what I am. The second and third bullets in the Wiki article apply to me. I experience mild, occasional sexual attraction, but I don't care to act on it. I masturbate regularly and have no problem with sex as a concept. I'm a virgin, and wouldn't really mind if that never changed. But I would enjoy a serious relationship, and wouldn't mind if sex was involved.\n\nGray-A asexuals:experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive\n-experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them\n-people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances\n\nI've been taking to a guy at my college for a few weeks now and it's been going well. We've been on a few dates and I like where this is going. We're both pretty nerdy and awkward, so it's been going pretty slowly. We're basically friends who are extra awkward around each other. I expect a kiss or something will happen soon.\n\nI would have no problem having occasional sex with a partner if they enjoyed it. I see it as like when one half of a couple has a fetish and will occasionally have sex that involves the fetish. I don't want it to be like that all the time, but it makes my partner happy, so I'm happy.\n\nI want to be honest with him. If this is a dealbreaker for him (but I don't think it will be), I completely respect that. When do I say something?", "summary": "I'm a recently realized asexual. When do I say something to the guy I'm very slowly beginning to date?"} {"id": "t3_had9z", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My dad was fired today for no given reason, and he asked for my help saving some incriminating info from his employers", "post": "As the title says. My father was fired today from his job and was given no real reason. He worked as a manager for one of the larger general contracting companies back home. It was his job to ensure that job sites were completed on time, within budget, and within code. The company he worked for often built low income and government subsidized housing. In many cases the owners and VPs would cut certain corners that would make the project legitimately cheaper, but still projected the same expenses and pocketed the rest. \n\nWhile my dad noticed this going on he kept written documents of everything, in the event something occurred. He was also not getting paid for many hours he was working at the time; treating him as though he was on salary, while still on hourly wages. \n\nHe came to me asking what he should do. In his email there is proof of much of the happenings. It is a company computer that uses outlook, and needs to be returned along with the truck tomorrow. Im worried about backing up these emails, then potentially losing the integrity of the files in court for whatever reason. \n\nIts a been a pretty wonky day in the household. When I got in from being out, this was all unloaded on me to take care of for the night. Im pretty worried about what to do beyond this as well. Sorry for the long winded post, but im tossing my last two cents into the Reddit Well of Infinite Brain. Thank you.", "summary": "Dad got fired without reason. Company he works for is stealing money from local government housing. Dads got proof and doesnt know how to back it up or what to do."} {"id": "t3_y20vm", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Tall man making some big changes - 5 weeks of progress (more than I thought!)", "post": "Hi /r/loseit! [To start, here are the pics!](\n\nBack in high school and my first couple years of college I was in amazing shape. 6'4\" about 180 and I was running about 6-8 miles every day. I even ran a marathon during my time in college (Twin Cities '08). Things started to go downhill soon after graduating college\u2026.\n \nThe summer after graduation my family found out that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was devastated. I turned to food to deal with it. Her cancer progressed and eventually it had spread to her bones. She fought the cancer until the very last day, January 8th 2011. Just like before, I turned to food to deal with the pain and eventually was up to 280lbs. I knew I needed to make a change but I just didn't care.\nFast forward to this spring, I had slowly made my way down to 260 after bouncing around in weight for an entire year. When I started reading /r/loseit I was around 265 and was inspired by all of the stories that you have posted.\n \nExercise: First of all, I got moving. Every day. No tv, no Netflix. I simply got rid of everything that was keeping me indoors and stationary. \nMWF I go swimming for at least 45min with a short run after and some lifting in there as well.\nTTHS I go running and maybe lifting.\nDiet: Intermittent fasting 19/5 and I cut out carbs (not because they are necessarily bad) and have kept my caloric intake to around 1500-1800 every day.\n \nAs of right now I am down a total of 45lbs from my peak and 25 from when I started taking progress pics (which is why I only have 25 listed as what I have lost on here). If you have any questions feel free to ask!\n \n6'4\"\n\n*Starting weight 280\n\n*Current weight 235\n\n*Goal weight 195 (this will be evaluated as I go)\n\nI am hoping to hit my goal by thanksgiving (at the latest Christmas)", "summary": "Life got in the way, gained weight, now losing it all. Take pics, they help motivate when you cant see progress"} {"id": "t3_2nbjab", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [28 M] wife [28] of 8 years left me just over two months ago now. I need some advice about other women..,", "post": "Very long story short: wife and I were married in a church at the age of 20. We both left that church and became atheists around 5 years ago. During that time, we moved OS and started to experience life in all of it's dirty / beautiful glory. Part of our big city experience involved being in a semi-open relationship - this didn't work out and she recently left me. \n\nI'm heartbroken, but because of out openness, the thought of dating / meeting women isn't such a big step. \n\nMy real question is this; what do I say to girls about my past? It seems to be the thing these days that you add each other to FB - as soon as this happens, they're going to know I'm married / have been married from a very young age, which is probably quite off-putting!\n\nI'm meeting a gorgeous 24 year old I met on Tinder this week, but I'm not sure what I should say when she asks me about my last or why I moved overseas etc. as soon as I say, \"well...I came over here with my wife, who I'm still married to by the way!\" I'm not after a serious relationship right now, but I also don't want to be a dick. \n\nAny advice? Would you be really open about the past, or would you leave it for date 2-3?", "summary": "Recently separated from wife who I've been with for 8 years, got married in a church at 20 years old. Wanting to date ppl but not sure how to bring up past without freaking them all out!"} {"id": "t3_3l585j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [22/F] and I [24/M] have been together 6 months. There are now compromising pics / vids of her circulating in our social group.", "post": "We have been together for 6 months and everything has been going great. In all we're a great match for eachother and i'm really happy with our relationship but recently a close friend took me aside and told him that a number of videos and pics of her have been circulating around my social group, etc showing her naked, having sex with people, etc. I want to talk to her about this but I want to make sure I don't hurt her as it's entirely possible they were from before we were together. I'm also quite upset with my friends and acquaintances seeing these. How should I approach the topic with her?", "summary": "Videos of my girlfriend naked / having sex with people have surfaced, I need to know how to talk to her sensitively about this."} {"id": "t3_34w4nc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "SO (f21) of a year wants to slow it down, I (m21) don't know what to do.", "post": "Long wall of text ahead. Sorry. \n\nSo I've been dating my girlfriend for the past year and over the last few months we've been getting into little fights (almost every week) which get solved immediately after and we make up. But then last week we had a huge fight and I told her we were over. However, once the anger calmed down, she apologized and I accepted and we moved on. \n\nHowever, over the past month I had been feeling a little unwanted physically because every time I touched her affectionately she wouldn't respond as much or would even maybe move soon after. So, if I put my hand around her in bed she would move or change positions soon after. And sex had gone down to once a day to almost once 3 days. I let her know my concerns last night and today she told me she feels \"weird\" about having sex with me so often. \n\nNow I know she's had a lot going on in her family (hospital admittance of a member, 6 weeks ago) but I thought that effect was temporary. However today she told me that she's just been feeling physically withdrawn (in general, not just me) for the past two and a half months. She asked me to work with her and take it slow and let he initiate and give her space, to which I've obliged. \n\nI wanted to know how I can act or what I can say that would help us return to where we were. Because we used to be amazing, we clicked like anything physically and emotionally and I just want that back. And I am willing to put my 100% for that because this girl means the world to me. She feels the same way and told me that she would want nothing more.", "summary": "Gf of a year has been feeling physically withdrawn for 2 months and wants to slow it down. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1ppzw1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [20 M] add my frequently missed encounter [20 F] on Facebook?", "post": "We took a class together one semester last year and she showed interest but I didn't act on it. I sort of made friends with one of her classmates and I was too dumb at the time to realise that he was asking about my interest in her on her behalf, but during that semester I was battling with depression and anxiety so I wasn't quite ready to act on my feelings for her and approach her. We didn't really talk or meet properly. She then got a boyfriend but I think they broke up recently. Even if she has a boyfriend now I'd still like to be friends with her.\n\nRecently I was waiting around in our faculty and she went and read some pamphlets nearby. We had awkward eye contact and I walked away (I'm fairly introverted and have anxiety issues). The day this happened was my last day at university so there's a good chance I might not see her again.\n\nDuring this recent encounter (I might've misheard) but I'm pretty she vocally told her friend within my earshot that she got \"awkward rejected\" (because of my darty eyes and socially awkward penguin walk out of the way becuase I felt vulnerable and unprepared to talk to her right away) which wasn't my intention at all. She clearly wanted me to approach her.\n\nI don't know if she wants to be friends or if she's showing greater interest in me. She has several hundred friends on Facebook while I have a more minimal amount and I'm not that active on it. Should I add her on Facebook and possibly apologise to her about that encounter to make sure she didn't get the wrong idea?", "summary": "cute girl seems to show interest in me, I awkward penguin my way about it, missed opportunities, want to connect via FB even though we never properly spoke to each other. "} {"id": "t3_33bewa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it wrong to be unsatisfied sexually in such a new relationship?", "post": "Me (M 21) and a girl (F 21) have been dating for about a month and a half. She told me early on she has low sex drive sometimes but I wasn't concerned because it was no issue for the first few weeks. But recently she's not into it basically at all for the past 2 weeks or so. Is it selfish or wrong to be frustrated this early on or should I wait to see if things sort itself out. I asked her about it and she pretty much just said she \"told me she's had low sex drive\" and she'll let me know if I can do anything to turn her on more. She also told me she's as attracted to me as she was before and likes me more everytime we hangout. So it isn't an issue with her not being into me.", "summary": "what should I do if she has a low sex drive in such a new relationship. She's attracted to me still and likes me more than in the beginning."} {"id": "t3_j7n9f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "so i dated this girl i met online... now i guess she doesnt likes me anymore?", "post": "We started talking bout 2 months ago, every day nonstop.\nWe felt really connected, she had the exact same thoughts as me on about everything so this isnt just some random girl, believe me.\n\nSo anyway, we both decided our first date would be at my house, we would get drunk and all just because its fun. So we did that and had sex, kissed, hugs. (and no, i dont believe shes a skank who gets drunk and has sex on first dates.. We just thought it would be fun because i \"knew\" her that way and she me too)\n\nWhen we were in bed and we were hugging eachother and kissing it really felt REAL. I dont know how other to describe it, i told her i loved her and she told me i love you too. So i was happy really..\n\nSo she goes home, i barely talk to her anymore online. She mostly ignores things or starts talking about other things when i start saying positive things.. She used to get drunk with her friends and send me these lovely messages, but that doesnt happen anymore too.\n\nIm so bugged by it, because she told me everything would be fine because we \"knew\" eachother. I dont get how she can lie to me like this, i just dont know what to do. Is there any way i can get her back? Yesterday she told me we would see eachother again, but an hour after that she starts ignoring me.. This while we used to talk all day long. So im getting some really mixed feelings or whatever.\n\nI must say, i wasnt the most talkative on the date.. I just dont speak that whole lot, but still. I believed everything would be allright just like she told me, i told her i was a bit shy and all.", "summary": "Is there anyway to get this girl back? She seemed like a perfect match. Maybe i just got friendzoned, or fuckbuddy zoned. I dont know. Maybe she wants me to stop talking to her."} {"id": "t3_198eak", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[19/f] Guys - how can us girls be nice to you without leading you on? I just don't want to get your hopes up and hurt you.", "post": "Firstly I'd just like to apologize if this has been asked before. I'm new to this subreddit and the search function really didn't do much for me. If there is a similar thread I would really appreciate it if you could redirect me there (: But if you have the time to read/respond that would be great!!\n\nCollege sophomore here. To keep the story short, one of my guy friends and I have been texting back and forth for a while, and we've been friends for about 9 months. He always starts the convo, and after a while it seemed a tad obvious that he was into me...but I didn't want to bring that up for fear of being wrong, ya know? Well today we were hanging out, and he kissed me, and it was weird. I pulled away and, to put it briefly, told him I didn't want to ruin our friendship. It was just awk, I told him we should talk about it later and I left.\n\nWithin our text conversations, I always replied to him in the same way that I would reply to any friend. I generally just try to be a nice person and I think he took that as a sign that I was into him. So, my questions are, a) is there ANYTHING I can do to salvage this friendship and b) guys, is there any way we can be nice to you but not lead you on?", "summary": "how do I fix friendship with a guy I rejected, and how can I be nice to you without making you think I want the d???"} {"id": "t3_4niph0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "When to break up and give up on a good thing? (21 F, 21F)", "post": "I can see myself marrying her as soon as next year. She has a life plan that has no room in it for me until she's 28. She wants to go overseas for some English teaching program, then join the US military for 4 years. Then she says she wants to settle down.\n\nI can't wait and do 6 years long distance. One of my biggest relationship benefits is having someone to see all the time, to make fun memories with. I can't see myself waiting 6 years for that time to come.\n\nI love her. I love her so much. Sometimes I feel like I love her more than she does me. I just could never see myself choosing to move somewhere she couldn't come with me, and she is.\n\nWe have the summer, and then one more year of college. Then she's busy for the next 7 years of her life.\n\nI can't imagine how much more it will hurt having to breakup with her after another year of being together. But at the same time, I want to meet someone now who will commit to making a future with me.\n\nWhat do I do? When? How do you break up with someone you still love?", "summary": "Relationship is good but we want different things out of life, when/how do you give up on a good thing for future happiness?"} {"id": "t3_vs6e3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Idk if I'm being paranoid or not.", "post": "Alright, so I've[25] started dating with a girl[23] from uni. It's all been fun and whatnot, but we were pretty cautious about calling ourselves a couple, both had some previous stuff mess up our heads. We've had a crush on each other since october, but started really acting on things ~2 months ago. Now, it has steadily evolved and we seem perfectly fine and happy and all that jazz, but recently I've been feeling that something's not right. Everything is seemingly perfectly fine, but for some reason I get the idea stuck in my head she's not as involved as she usually would. I wouldn't want to seem like I'm trying too hard or am too invasive too, which makes me unsure how to act. I have a history of overthinking and worry I might just be paranoid, which will lead me to trying too hard or something.\n\nAny advice Redditors? I REALLY wouldn't want this one to go well.", "summary": "I'm in love, recently paranoid that we might be drifting away, despite everything being seemingly ok. Afraid I'm just paranoid"} {"id": "t3_1bww6p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26M] double-booked [23F]girlfriends birthday dinner with my fathers retirement dinner.", "post": "I made a throwaway for obvious reasons but I'm kinda in a dilemma now and I appreciate some insights. To make this story easier to understand I'll write everything down chronologically. \n\nLast week my girlfriend and I celebrated her birthday together on her actual birthday. We had cake, dinner, presents and we kinda celebrated it very low-key. It was just the two of us.\n\nThe day after her birthday, her mom invited me for dinner because they didn't had the chance to spend time with her daughter on her birthday. So this will kinda be like a birthday dinner but with the parents of my gf. I said, sure I'll come because the dinner will be held next week and I didn't had anything planned for that day.\n\nMy sister told me the day after the invitation of my gfs mom that my fathers retirement dinner will be held on that very same date. She forgot to tell me. . . Oh shit. I really don't know what to do when I heard that. And it's not like I can move the dates of these dinners since the guests already have been invited. \n\nTo be honest, I feel that I already celebrated her birthday and that the birthday dinner was just something for her and her parents. Am I an ass if I attend my fathers retirement dinner? I mean, my old man is only retiring once, he has worked his entire life, providing for the family and being a great dad and I don't want to miss that. Or should I attend my gf's 'bday' dinner with her family? I don't want her to be upset for that I didn't show up for her bday dinner. \n\nShe said some harsh words (which shook me up) through the phone prior me writing this so if my wall-o-text is incomplete then please ask and I will clarify.", "summary": "Celebrated birthday with GF on her actual bday. GF's mom invites me to dinner for next week. Sis subsequently tells me we have another dinner at that same date. Can't join both. Dilemma."} {"id": "t3_htivq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm starting to doubt him all over again...", "post": "He asked me out once, but i found out from his friend (who had a guilty soul and spilled) that it was all a joke. Kind of a mean one when he knew i liked him, and that playing with my feelings wouldn't get him anywhere. \n\nAfter ignoring him, and trying to forget everything he confesses everything to me. He tells me that after that he realizes how much of an asshole he was, and how much he thought about it made him realize how much he really likes me. \n\nSo he asked me out, and me not being over him, i said yes. Everything has been going fine, we're talking a lot, he's acting so...happy. But me, being the over-thinker i am, still thinks he isn't over the girl he's had a crush on for a while now. Also, when he asked me out, he told me he wants to try something, and when i asked him about it, he said he want's to see how we'd do over summer and possibly back into school. He's going to Germany for most of the summer...That makes me think he's just doing this to make me happy because of what he did.", "summary": "He hurt me pretty badly, and now we're going out, but the way he's acting makes me think like he's doing it just to make up for what he did earlier. "} {"id": "t3_143wo8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [19] about to get into my first real relationship with an introverted girl[20], how do I connect with her on a more intimate level?", "post": "We are both attracted to one another, and there's a lot of the good kind of tension, however, I have a hard time connecting with her and making her feel really comfortable. I make jokes all the time, and I try my best express disagreements positively, however I feel like I'm missing something.\n\nWe've known each other for about four to five months, and have been close for about three of those. We've decided to start dating after the finals (we're both college students). Feel free to ask for more information if you feel like there's something I should've mentioned!", "summary": "Met awesome, incredible girl, with whom I'm going out after the month. She's shy (and/or) introverted though, and I'm having a tough time connecting with her on a deeper level"} {"id": "t3_sr463", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Was my chance destroyed?", "post": "I was hanging out with my crush and some friends on Friday, celebrating the holiday. Everything seemed to go well, we had fun right up until I took her home. \n\nLater that night I walked out of the room and a friend, (still don't know who), got a hold of my phone. Whoever it was sent my crush this message. \n\n* Dear hot girl throwitaway133 won't stfu about. I'm probably gonna get punched when he finds out I sent this. But it's become clear to me he will always be too much of a bitch to make a move or tell you how he feels. So I am doing it for him. Sincerely, a friend of throwitaway133's.\n\nI haven't got any response, or talked to her since I dropped her off Friday night. I don't really know if I should do or say anything. Or, if that just destroyed all my chances. Any insight at all would be great.", "summary": "Friend sent my crush a text telling her how I feel, and I haven't heard from her since. Not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_478apr", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Gf doesn't want to do anything like literally", "post": "So me [M20] work about 9 hours a day and she [F18] doesn't work and when I am working she just sits at home eating and watching TV or sleeping. So when I get home I have to clean and dish and make food and ye everything and when I ask if she can help she gets mad cuz according to her she is doing all of that above just because she did it on time like 1 month ago. I mean shouldnt she be doing all that stuff when she is the one being home all the time and I am the one bringing in the money? What should I do?", "summary": "Gf doesn't want to do anything and I have to do everything at home even tough I am working 9h a day"} {"id": "t3_3cg0e1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (18F) would like to further my relationship with a 'friend' (29M) however it's an awkward situation that I'm not sure how to deal with - Advice", "post": "I really want to further my relationship with my close friend, however I'm not sure if it is a good idea or how to go about it. \n\nThe situation is right now I'm visiting him as he lives in a foreign country, this is the first time I've met him and it hasn't been too long but I feel attracted to him in a way that I never have with previous partners. He travels a lot and is very 'popular' so I'm not sure firstly if a relationship in such an unstable environment is a good idea.\n\nHe also isn't the feelings sharing type and I'm not sure how to approach the situation with him. I don't know if I'm being na\u00efve in thinking that I could established a relationship with him or not, but it's quite difficult for me to discuss (also because I'm an awkward person).\n\nCan anyone possibly give advice? Sorry if I'm in the wrong subreddit, I'm new to the whole posting thing.", "summary": "want to be in a relationship with friend but don't know how to approach the situation, or if it's a good idea."} {"id": "t3_3eaaim", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Roommate moved out, left me high and dry. What now?", "post": "So this is kind of a confusing situation: I had a temporary roommate sublet a room in my apartment. He was on the lease for the next three months, paid one months rent and then never came back. He left all of his belongings, and never even let me know he wouldn't be coming back. \n\nI had already set up a future room mate for 2 months down the line. She paid all of her deposits and we were ready to go. \n\nFortunately I wasn't evicted even though only half of the rent was paid for 2 months. My landlord said she wouldn't evict me if I just repay the old roommates dues over the next lease period. \n\nI'm not sure if this is legal/okay. Am I responsible or his half? Isn't that why they put the other person in the lease? Can they just bill him or put a ding on his credit? I'm not sure why this comes down to me, and will this actually hurt my credit if it goes unpaid? I'm considering just letting it go unpaid and moving out once my lease is up. That's over $860 that she's expecting me to cough up. I live in Texas.", "summary": "roommate left and didn't pay 2 months of rent. Land Lord want me to pay it. I can't because I'm a brokeass college student."} {"id": "t3_3jb3fj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21F] just had a baby with my fiance [25M] and ever since he has become incredibly mean to me and calls me a bitch or cunt almost daily. Is this normal?", "post": "My fianc\u00e9 and I got engaged while I was 4 months pregnant after being together for 2 years. At the beginning Of our relationship he was kind of a dick to me and we broke up for a while. I felt like he changed so we got back together. Shortly after I got pregnant and he seemed like a changed man during the pregnancy. \n\nSince we've had the baby he is mean to me almost everyday. I get called names like bitch, cunt, stupid, idiot etc. Our daughter is only 3 months old, but he screams at me and calls me names in front of her and I don't want her to think that is okay. \n\n He isn't very hands on with the baby and I practically have to beg him to hold her so I can bathe or brush my teeth or do anything by myself. I also just want him to hold her because he wants to, but the only times he ever offers to hold her are when other people are around. \n\nI am a stay at home mom so he supports both of us which isn't easy, but I don't feel like it's okay to talk down to me all the time. I think he has a lot of pressure on him as the only money maker. He says that I don't respect him, but I really do and I thank him for (mostly) everything he does for me and our daughter. \n\nOur relationship isn't all bad and we really can have a great time together, but he just snaps on me in an instant and we can go from laughing to screaming so quickly. \n\nI'm starting to think this is kind of like verbal abuse. I really need advice. I don't want to talk to my friends or family about this either so reddit is my only outlet. Is there something I can do to make him see how badly it hurts me to be talked down to?", "summary": "I got pregnant, got engaged and now my fianc\u00e9 is very mean to me and I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_4i3s8o", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Girl cancels date a day before", "post": "I haven't ever posted anything but I think I need some advice on this. \n\nI asked a girl out on a date from my class and it went really well,we sat on the campus quad for almost 3 hours talking about life and stuff and then it was getting dark so I said lets go back and walked her back to her dorm\n\nLater that night I texted her if she wanted to hang out some other day and she said yeah but she could only meet up at 5PM and I said I have to be somewhere at 6PM. She then asked me if we could meet up some other time and I said of course so we scheduled it for Friday at 2PM because she had to meet up with a friend to eat lunch.\n\nAnd then later tonight she told me she \"just remembered she was going to go study with her friend she was eating lunch with and that she was sorry\" she didnt ask me if she wanted to reschedule so i said not to worry about it and to let me know if she wanted to hang out some other time. \n\ni'm pretty confused about what to do, because she seemed like she wanted to meet up and now she doesnt seem like it all or was that just a trick? \n\ni've browsed some other questions and a lot of them seem to gear towards cutting my losses and moving on with my life.", "summary": "girl and i go on first date; i ask if she wants to meet up again, we can't because shes and i are busy, she reschedules and then cancels that, what do i do?"} {"id": "t3_1xkjmy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "29F and 28M Questions about our discussions on children", "post": "We have been dating for two years and basically living together from about 1 month in. He is a wonderful fellow and, besides one or two areas of communication we need to work on, I am immensely happy with our relationship. We have had many conversations on financial views, personal goals, career paths, in-laws and, of course, children.\n\n Now I work with children and have enjoyed a large role in the lives of my niece and nephew, so I feel I may have some idea of the stresses of having children. However, I am pretty sure that my expecations won't fully prepare me for the reality and it will certainly be an adventure. I have always assumed I would probably have 1 or 2 kids.\n\n My boyfriend would love nothing more than having a passle of children - in his mind 5 would be wonderful. For him, more kids means more grandkids and he seems to love the idea of being a grandfather covered in grandkids. Adorable to me but seems rather unrealistic. When we have discussed this, I have made it clear that 3 children is a compromise for me and that number seems to satisfy him - but he doesn't like the idea of having any fewer.\n \nHowever, I worry (and I have told him this) that the number will change for me after I push out a kid or two. I don't think he truly realizes how exhausting, demanding and expensive having children can be. I am afraid of making that promise. I don't us to settle down only to find that either I am unhappy with a passle or he is disappointed with only a pair. \n\n For the redditors that have children, how certain were you of the number before you had them? Should I be worried about this uncertainty and discrepancy in our desires?", "summary": "I want kids but I don't know how many. Feel bad promising him 3 if I may not want to deliver."} {"id": "t3_2u21sr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 M] initiate all conversation with my very good friend [18 F]. How does she really feel about me?", "post": "Since coming to college I met a girl in my dorm who I have ended up becoming best friends with. We talk about everything together, and we talk a lot (and I mean a LOT). I hang out with her one on one all the time, and she always seems happy to see me, but I can't remember the last time she initiated a conversation, or anything, with me. If i'm going to the gym, I can stop by and ask her if she wants to come and she will often say yes, but she has literally never asked me to go with her.\n I will just randomly text her something stupid or funny that happened to me, and we will have conversations that last for hours, then I don't send her a text and I literally don't hear from her for days (in person or messaging). \n I really like this girl, and I was thinking about asking her out at some point soon, but is she just being really nice to me and doesn't actually like me as much as I like her? Maybe i'm just really over analyzing this but it just seems strange.", "summary": "I talk to this girl a ton every day, but 9/10 times I am the one who has to initiate contact. Does she care about me at all?"} {"id": "t3_3cy1td", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27 M] feel like I'm getting mixed signals from her [22 F]", "post": "So I met this woman about a year ago when we were co-workers and we ended up finding out we had quite a bit in common and enjoyed each others company. She recently left while I'm still partly there as I go through the process of getting hired into my career field (the company was a typical grocery store while I'm entering the IT field now). At the time she was being manipulated by some deadbeat buy in Maryland who she thought she was dating who kept taking money from her and I seemed to be the shoulder to cry on about how bad the guy was. During this time I attempted to date her but was more or less turned down and rather than continue that game I instead moved on to focus on continuing to better myself. I for the most part stopped really interacting with her for 5-6 months during which time she seemed to figure out what the guy in Maryland was doing and moved on and now about 2 months ago we started frequently talking again.\n\nThough unlike last time the conversations have went in ways that give me a sense of mixed signals. Now, maybe I'm wrong here, I find it unlikely woman just randomly talk to guys about their vibrators or mention they're talking to them naked etc. and, in most cases, I'd take that as a obvious sign of interest. Though in her case when I go to do anything with her it's instantly 'not a date'. She's a very timid person so maybe that can play a part in that (plus the whole Maryland thing) but another side of me almost thinks she enjoys the attention I give her or that she's just so comfortable around me as a 'friend' that she thinks it's normal to talk to me about that stuff. At this point I'm stuck between whether I should cut contact most or all the way with her or go hang out with her on the 'not dates' and see where things eventually go. I'm honestly quite inexperienced with woman and dating as I've been a fairly introverted/non social person most my life until the past few years so at times I feel somewhat lost as to what to do.", "summary": "Woman I met a year ago that turned me down now starts up conversations with me again that turn sexual but only wants to hang out with me on 'non dates'."} {"id": "t3_381cfx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 F] with my BF [30 M] of 5 months, I have severe trust issues", "post": "My bf and I have been dating for 5ish months. every relationship i have had has ended in myself being cheated on. 8 out of 9 times it has been with another male. \n\nBecause of my disastrous history of being cheated on and bf's coming out of the closet, my trust issues with men aren't exactly the greatest... \n\nHow do i get over my fear of being cheated on? in previous relationships i have never worried about being cheated on, and then i end up being cheated on. so why now am i worrying about him cheating on me? \n\nI was doing great until he lied to me. I asked him about a friend of his [30f] and he said that nothing had ever happened between them. Then a few weeks ago i found out that they had been FWB for a short time. He said the reason he lied was because he didn't know how i'd react. since that point i have been more cautious.", "summary": "I have trust issues. do i continue this relationship, or move on? and how do i get over my trust issues for future relationships?"} {"id": "t3_3sgrc0", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by debating about a made-up country", "post": "This was about 5 years ago, when I joined the local community college debate team. I had never done anything like it before, but I am a \"go-getter\" and thought it sounded fun. The entire team was awesome, and they totally blew me away with how much they knew about current events. They were able to spit out so many facts at lightning speed. In preparation for my first tournament, I tried my best to cram as many news articles in my head as I could. \"I can DO THIS!\" I thought. My coach said, \"Don't stress \u2013 it's your first time, so just go up there and do your best!\" About 30 minutes before my round started, we were given the topic. I blinked and felt a pit in the bottom of my stomach\u2026it was something about Palestine. Or was it Pakistan? I was so not ready for this, but I was going to bullshit my way through it, I told myself. I approached the podium, and began some long rambling speech about how we all just need to get along, or something equally dumb. I noticed that my opponent was doing a *facepalm*. Ok, I'm not doing so hot. That's ok. Just keep going. Then I notice the judges shaking their heads and writing furiously on the ballot. Hmmm\u2026whatever. I take my seat, all smiles, just proud of myself for getting up in front of strangers. Public speaking isn't so hard, I thought. I return to my team, am informed I lost the round (no surprise) and we'll get the comments from the judges in a few days. Fast forward, and I'm hanging out with the team and we're reviewing our ballots. Apparently I made an entire speech about \"Paki-stine\"\u2026. a country that doesn't exist. And I said it about 15 times in just a few minutes. The team thought it was hilarious, and we all laughed about it. I stuck it out until the end of the semester, and ended up doing very well in the \"interpretive\" events \u2013 such as poetry and prose. :)", "summary": "\u2013 Went to debate tournament, mixed up country names and argued about \"Paki-stine\" for a good 3 minutes, and didn't realize it until afterwards. "} {"id": "t3_3bncxo", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Anyway to get/help my sister stop smoking?", "post": "She's 19, I'm 17. I know that she's an adult now and can do whatever she wants after 18, but it still hurts to see her damaging her body with this shit. When we were younger, everyone would always say how they'd never start smoking, how they'd never even try and I stuck to that (at least for cigarettes), so it's a bit suprising to see her start. I'm under the impression that most people my age that started smoking don't really care about the concequences and it's just a thing that they do, unlike older people who actually realize that it's a serious issue that they're having trouble with. I've told her before that it isn't good that she smokes, but she just blows it off with a laugh and continues on. She never smokes around me or family, but I sometimes find her cigarettes in her room or on the balcony etc. \nIs there anyway I can help her see that she needs to stop? \n\nIt also doesn't help that her boyfriend is a big smoker. She didn't smoke before she met him. I dislike him just because of that. I don't know how she started, but I can imagine it was him suggesting it to her, but yes, even then it'd be her own decision. Also my immediate family doesn't necessarily \"not care\", but they are just going with the \"It's her life, if she wants to fuck up her body, it's her fault\" after telling her a few times that she needs to stop without it having any effect on her.\n\nSo,", "summary": "Any advice on how to convince my sister that she should stop or at least convince her that it's a problem she has to work on herself?"} {"id": "t3_25mrvx", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "What are good reasons to ask off for work in advance?", "post": "I'm a part-time employee at a chain store. Our particular store is so small that we have three full-time managers and three part-time cashiers. Company policy dictates that instead of giving your employees overtime, you call a store in the county to see if they have an employee who can fill in.\n\nTo the point: I want to ask off for two-three days the weekend after next to go out of town to see my significant other instead of calling in \"sick\". I also have to have several days off soon because I'm having my wisdom teeth removed, so I don't want to look like I'm taking off too much time.\n\nI don't want to look bad to my store manager. I think she's already mad at me for calling in last week because I was in the hospital.", "summary": "I want to ask for a few days off and I'm not sure what reason to give for it. Any decent ideas?"} {"id": "t3_394bjy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] with my acquaintance [25M] for years, sleeping together for a month -- how do you know what's just sex and what's early dating??", "post": "Question might seem stupid but I'm admittedly a lot naive about this stuff.\n\nHave known the guy for years. We have a lot of the same friends. We started hanging out at group functions, leaving together, and sleeping together. He pays for me when we're out. When we're together --in front of our friends and in private-- he's cuddly, sweet, we spend hours talking and having great sex. He sleeps over, cuddles, holds my hand, kisses me goodbye.\n\nHe doesn't make plans to hang out but when I do he responds affirmatively. I like him (a lot) and am not sleeping with anyone else but would also rather not be tied down in a relationship right now.\n \nUnsure whether this is relevant: a few years ago he asked me out and I rejected him. Told him the truth, it was just bad timing in my life. Unclear whether he believed me or took the rejection personally.", "summary": "What differentiates fuck buddy from friend with benefits from friend you're starting to date? Am a bit clueless -- and not ready to ask the guy for fear of coming off clingy when in fact I'm just naive."} {"id": "t3_20jd26", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "How to deal with her random mood changes?", "post": "Hello, I was wondering if I could get some advice for my current situation. A friend(27f) and I(21m) have been hanging out for about 5 or 6 months now, we see each other at least 3 times a week and in the beginning of February we became FWBs. I would describe our relationship as \"pretty much\" dating, we do almost everything together cooking, lunches, shopping etc. We've even held hands in public and share goodnight kisses.\nMy dilemma is that she has short bursts from being affectionate to being utterly emotionless. It drives me insane, my insecurity always leads to questioning myself to see if I did anything wrong. I don't know how to process these situations, she was very brief on the phone today and hasn't responded to any of my texts (which she always does). Granted she is out with her friends right now.\n\nI think we may spend too much time together and thats why she gets into these mood swings, but I would like her to just tell me instead of acting this way. She has been tired the past couple of days, so I've been relying on that to be another possibility behind all of this. I'm just really worried, her friendship means the world to me and I definitely dont want to lose that. Does this happen with anyone else?\n\nI'm sorry if this seems petty or dumb, I just need multiple opinions, I really dont have any women I can talk to about this. I've been beating myself up, I need to get out of my head.\n\nI had to post this using my phone so I'm sorry for all the grammar mistakes. Thank you very much.", "summary": "She goes from affectionate to emotionless in an instant, how do I deal with it? Is it common with others?"} {"id": "t3_rrsc2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I have three cats. How do I keep one cat out of the basement without also blocking the other two?", "post": "One of our cats is an old, grouchy female who pees on... well, anything and everything. Usually the carpet, clothes on the floor or a bed, occasionally some papers, furniture, or worse. For the past year or so, she's been staying upstairs voluntarily so I've stopped worrying about her coming downstairs (where I live) to pee on my stuff. However, in the past few weeks she's been venturing downstairs again. I don't think she's peed on anything, but I don't want to give her the opportunity. My main concern is my new couch (threw out the last one due to multiple cat piss stains) and my drum kit (I don't know what cat pee would do to the bass drums, but I do know it would be around $500 each to replace them) although there are any number of other things in the basement that I don't want her peeing on.\n\nCurrently, there is a pile of bubble wrap on two of the steps (there are no doors for this stairway) which deters her, but this bubble wrap also keeps the other two cats (who have never peed on anything and generally prefer to hang out with me) upstairs. Sometimes they can jump the bubble wrap, but it still isn't an ideal system since it can present an obstacle/safety hazard for the humans who use the stairway. So, I need a new idea.", "summary": "one cat pees on things and must be blocked from coming downstairs, but the other cats and the humans cannot have the stairs blocked. Wat do?"} {"id": "t3_2kevw0", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Me [23 M] with my GF [21 F] of 3 years, how can I deal with my feelings of wanting her to dress differently?", "post": "All women dress how they want. They shouldn't feel societies pressures to conform and any man should appreciate it. They are individuals and should be allowed to wear functional comfortable clothes.\n\nThat's what I know. That's what my mind gets focused on. And then, I get hung up with my girlfriend's choice of no makeup/not nice clothes.\nI really struggle with thoughts of wishing my girlfriend wore different things. I really enjoy things like eyeshadow and mascara, and I really enjoy things like skirts and leggings and high heels. But that's not who my girlfriend is, and never will be. She likes dressing in loose clothing, and I should be fine with that.\n\nIt is just SO HARD to handle that fact that rationally I know I want her to wear what SHE wants, but at the same time, I want her to wear seductive impractical clothes for me.\n\nI've talked to her about it. She doesn't see why I'd want her to wear those clothes at risk of attracting people other than me. For instance, for halloween, why would she want to wear a slutty costume \"to get all the attention in the room\". I asked if she would wear those things for just me, for when we go on dates or at home together, and she said \"maybe someday [like after we are married]\"... If we get married. I always get to our dates and feel a little disappointed that she just wears the most casual clothes appropriate for the occasion.\n\nAm I right to be hung up on this? Is this who I am, and I will always be vaguely and inexplicably unsatisfied? Or should I just try to ignore these thoughts and enjoy my independent, confident, intelligent, and beautiful girlfriend?", "summary": "I'm struggling with my feelings of wanting my girlfriend to dress differently. I don't know if my feelings are justified or ridiculous."} {"id": "t3_2nx4ne", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] can't shake off the feeling that my boyfriend [21M] is sick of me/doesn't love me anymore.", "post": "We've been together for almost half a year. I am constantly worrying that he doesn't love me anymore even though he says he does. The smallest things will make me upset. For example, if I notice that he isn't saying \"I love you\" as often as he normally does, or if he doesn't want to spend as much time with me... I assume that he's sick of me. And I feel like it is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think this may just be a case of my own emotional immaturity, and not a sign of an actual problem in our relationship. I worry that the fact that I need constant reassurance that he still loves me is what will drive him away. How can I get out of this mindset?", "summary": "I am very insecure and worry that my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore and this might ruin our relationship. What do."} {"id": "t3_3572id", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 F] am feeling neglected by lack of communication from boyfriend [21 M] of 1 year", "post": "When my boyfriend and I are together everything has been good. We enjoy each others company and I feel like we're in a good place. \n\nHowever we only have been seeing each other once a week for about two months. For the rest of our relationship we were seeing each other three to four times a week from the start. He starting doing school full-time of hard classes, his hobby also turned into a job he does for 7 hours twice a week, he picked up another job that is a fill-in position so those hours are different weekly, and at night he does some freelance writimg. I go to school part time and work part time.\n\nI could deal with this for the first month because we would Skype twice a week late at night but now his family back at his place (he lives at home with grandparents who leave during the winter) there's not that communication anymore.\n\nI don't feel like a priority to him anymore since the only time we have had together is the scheduled Sunday after church. The only communication throughout the week is texting which he doesn't do well.\n\nI'm getting tired of texts be I unanswered or being told, \"can't talk now\". The worst times is when I tell him that I miss him or love him and he won't answer. We had our one year anniversary a month ago and I haven't received a card or a gift even though that is something important to me. I feel like I'm forgotten when I'm not physically there with him.\n\nHe's taking the summer off of school so hopefully it will change. He has asked me out one other time each week the last two weeks but I've been at work. I've talked to him about feeling disconnected during the week before but he only responds with \"Sorry I've been really busy\". \n\nHow can I best approach this with him? I feel like I need something more than once a week because I am very emotionally invested in him but will I come across as clingy? Should I wait it out?", "summary": "boyfriend has been really busy and hasn't had time to hang out but he won't even text or call much during the week making me feel forgotten and not a high priority for him"} {"id": "t3_3efo97", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by joking about the Lafayette, LA movie theatre shooting", "post": "Ok, first off, the issue is not a joking matter and I felt like a compete dipshit as soon as I said it, but:\n\nWent into work this morning and all everyone was talking about was the shooting last night in the theatre in Lafaytette, LA. I'd just gotten to my locker to get my duty belt and having heard the gist of the conversation, I said something along the lines of \"I knew this would happen if they gave Amy Shumer a movie; must have been a shitty movie\" (the film playing in the theatre that was shot up was \"Train Wreck\").\n\nA few of my fellow coworkers smirked, but my \"joke\" ended the conversation and everyone kind of disperse...and now here I am two hours later and was informed that there will be a mandatory \"sensitivity training meeting\" held this Saturday evening to which everyone in my department will have to attend regardless of if they were scheduled off or not...and now my whole department is pissed at me because they all know my comments are what lead to this weekend-ruining meeting we have no choice but to attend.\n\nAgain, I don't feel this tragedy is a joking matter; in my line of work, I just find it easier to deal with bad situations by trying to find comedy in them", "summary": "Made joking comment about recent theatre shooting at work and now my whole department hates me because it caused a mandatory meeting this weekend"} {"id": "t3_26b0gi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Inner struggles with myself [f/23] regarding my guy [m/26]", "post": "I'm not even sure how to articulate this all to you, or even where to start. We met a year ago and have been inseparable. He's [m/26] absolutely amazing, and treats me [f/23] very well. We have normal relationship problems, but that goes without saying. \n\nMy biggest issue lately, is that he says he loves me, but can't bring himself to say it unless I do. He gets nervous when I say it, I can see it in his body language and demeanor. He says he wants to take things really slow, so I've taken a step back.\n\nHere's how he's confusing me:\n\nHe went and got a dog, but he took me with him to get him. He refers to said dog as \"our dog\". May not seem like a big deal, but these are mixed signals to me. \n\nI've been staying with him for two months since my roommate is in a very rigorous grad school program and is very stressed out at all times and the negativity started taking a toll on me. It's been \"our house\", \"our neighbors\", \"our chores\" etc...\n\nHe even asked if I would move across the country with him if he decided to take another job.\n\nBottom line is, we've talked about how much stronger my feelings are for him than his are for me, and he says he might \"get there one day\", but the fact that I love him enough to marry him tomorrow if he asked, and the love I feel for him is not reciprocated breaks my heart everyday. \n\nAll I want is the feel like someone loves me. I was always told that if you don't feel like someone is giving you the love you need, meet that person with all the love you can muster, and it will all come together. So all I can do is just be there for him, and show him how I feel every day. \n\nI can't pull myself out of this depression though. Do I stick around, hoping that one day I'll be loved by the person I love the most, or do I leave out of self respect and give myself a chance at something that might have more of a balance?", "summary": "There is not a balance of feelings between my boyfriend [26/m] and myself [23/f] and it's causing me terrible depression."} {"id": "t3_44h7hv", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "[25/m] my wife [25/f] just stormed out.", "post": "I don't even know what happened. I had an extremely long and stressful week working two jobs, long commutes in bad snowy weather, and involved in a moderate car accident. Needless to say I just wanted to relax with my family on Saturday morning.\nMy wife and I were getting along just fine this morning until something switched in her and she started snapping for, to me, no reason. She's a stay at home mom so I know she has her own stresses and probably had a long week too. However, it really seemed uncalled for.\nShe made it seem that everything I was doing was cause for upset. Saying how I don't help, saying how I just sit there, saying how I've been on my phone since we woke up. Trying to hold back my own frustration, I tried to gently explain I've been trying to help. I woke the baby and changed her, helped tidy up, etc. and only grabbed my phone once to make some plans for the three of us tomorrow.\nShe immediately went into defense mode and would not come down. I tried to remain civil, admittedly unsuccessfully at times during our argument. Though I'd apologize and calm back down. She wouldn't however.\nShe went on and on with a rant about how I don't care about how she feels, she's the only one that ever does anything, how I'm selfish. I sat back and I listened. Figuring she just needed to vent.\nIt was just getting too heated and too insulting. I, probably stupidly, called out her behavior and that set off a storm. She flew off the handle, won't talk to me, and now she's stormed out, took the car, and won't say how long she'll be gone.\nI honestly don't know what I initially did to make her so upset. Everything was great when we first woke up.", "summary": "Wife and I were having a good day. Something I did bothered her. We argued, and now she's left."} {"id": "t3_3chbhx", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "Kitty messed up their leg - how long should I wait?", "post": "My youngest kitten (7 months) was on top of my kitchen cabinets today and slipped and fell off and smacked a counter on the way down. He immediately ran under the bed limping and yowling in pain :(\n\nHe started to walk around a bit earlier but has just been sleeping since, and wont let the other cats play with him. I can't really tell if his leg is swollen or not but he definitely seems to be in pain.\n\nMy question is, how long should I give him to see if he's going to start walking on it comfortably again? I'd rather not take a trip to the vet just to have them tell me \"give it some time\", considering that's been the usual answer I've been getting with most of my cat related problems recently.", "summary": "Cat fucked up leg, isn't walking on it and is in pain. How long should I wait to see if he needs to go to the vet or not?"} {"id": "t3_2xndnn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (21M) and my girlfriend (19F) might be pregnant but that's a huge problem.", "post": "My girlfriend is 19 and she may be pregnant.\n\nWe have been together for a year now.\n\nShe has a blood disorder and could die if she gives birth.\n\nShe doesn't want kids and I don't want kids so an abortion is highly likely.\n\nThe issue for me is that I was about to pack up and leave to go back home to live with my family. \n\nMy grandpop who I am really close with has been battling cancer and may not be around much longer.\n\nMy girlfriend and I currently live together on the west coast but my family is on the easy coast.\n\nThere are mid terms in school right now so she is already stressed out.\n\nShe is 3 weeks late on her period.\n\nShe will take a pregnancy test in a week.\n\nShe has been working out a lot recently, and has been really stressed. We think this is why she missed her period. \n\nBut she is showing signs of early pregnancy. \n\nShe has decided she is too young and does not want kids regardless of her age.\n\nSo what do I do?\n\nDo i go home to support my family financially, mentally, spiritually and be there for my grandpop who is dying of cancer?\n\nOr do I stay with her to support her while she takes abortion pills.", "summary": "Family is having issues back home and I want to go back across the country to be with them but my girlfriend may be pregnant but will get an abortion. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_11mmvo", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Potty train FAIL... stubborness wins.", "post": "We've been trying to potty train our almost 3.5 yo son for over a year now & we are making very little progress. He will sit on the toilet occasionally but has only actually peed in it 3x. He won't go for his teacher at pre-school & the reward system doesn't work. He says he would rather go in his pull-up. We tried the big boy underpants thing for a of couple consecutive days but he just peed down his leg. He was upset about it at first but he kept on doing it & eventually he didn't even bother telling us he went. It's a big mess & he just doesn't seem to care. We have pretty much given up & are hoping he will come around. I don't know what else to do.", "summary": "3.5yo refuses to be potty trained - all tried methods have failed. Frustrated to no end."} {"id": "t3_3qhkxj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "He [18m] is really mean to me [17f]\u2026does he like me?", "post": "We're seniors in high school and there's this guy, let's call him Nick, who I've known for years and everyone always told me he had a crush on me, but I dated this other guy freshman year up until a month ago. \n\nNick told everyone how much he liked me and how he would go for me when me and my boyfriend broke up, but over the summer he started hooking up with my best friend (according to other people it was because he figured i would stay with my boyfriend forever). Now they're dating and they seem happy together but whenever we're together he's always joking around and hitting me and teasing me and stuff. He always calls me stupid and makes fun of me but he's always like \"just kidding you know I love you so much\" and then he'll go back to the jabs. \n\nHe only started acting this way since he started dating my best friend, but whenever we're having a serious conversation or I'm telling him about another guy, he goes on about how any guy would be so lucky to have me etc etc \n\nI'm just so confused about the whole situation, because I think I have a little crush on him but I would never do that to my best friend. Where does it seem like his head is at?", "summary": "This guy always liked me but I was taken, now he's in a relationship with someone else and is mean flirty to me all the time, does he still like me?"} {"id": "t3_3luat1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21F] housesat for over a week in July for my aunt [39F] and her family. Didn't pay me, but expect me to pay at garage sale?", "post": "In the beginning of July I housesat for my aunt and uncle [42M]. They have 4 kids, [17M][14F] [twins 4F]. They have two cats and a rabbit. I had to feed all of them and I had to let the rabbit out for at least an hour every day for exercise. The rabbit also likes to escape so I had to barricade and close off the living room where the rabbit's cage is. I had to be watching the rabbit at all times or she would jump to get out. \nI housesat for a little over a week. Their house is a lot farther from my work then where I live and all this week I was working. I got no discussion or mention of payment. I think they just expecting me to do it for free. \nLast week or so my aunt and her family posted on Facebook that they were having a garage sale. They also posted some photos. I saw they had a couple of their old bikes in the photo. I asked if they were adult bikes and I'm interested. She then replied and said they're up for $100 and to send her my budget for one. \nSo.... I know it's not that much at all, but I'm a little angered. You're expecting me a poor ass college student who lives on her own to housesit for over a week with not even money for gas, but she has to pay for an old bike that was maybe $150 new? It's just irritating. Any suggestions for how I should bring it up to her?", "summary": "housesat/petsat at family's house for over a week and wasn't paid, but expected to pay for bike at garage sale."} {"id": "t3_msu3n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Adult step siblings dating ... yep, it's that kinda thing.", "post": "No easy way to say this I suppose. So I'm going to write it all out, I apologize in advance for the length. My mom and his father started dating just over a year ago. He was my mom's first boyfriend back when they were in high school, and after their separate marriages, children, and divorces, they're back together and happier than ever. I never knew him or his family at all. \n\nNow that we have grown to know each other however, one of his sons and I have grown to like each other as far more than just friends or \"step siblings\". After spending time together, we've grown to a point where we want to move forward in a relationship together. We match together amazingly well and have chemistry like I haven't felt before.\n\nAt this point, we both feel major conflicts. In talking about how this is going to progress, we have agreed that our parent's relationship takes priority. We know them well, and we know that this is the real deal for them, they are going to be together for the rest of their lives. They aren't married, and they may never be, but they will be together. At this point, we are taking it slow, VERY slow, and not telling ANYONE about it for a while. We have agreed that no matter what, we need to be friends first, because we are going to be present in each others lives for a while. \n\nThis is really quite hard for me. We wouldn't even be considering dating if their wasn't such a strong connection between us. The factors for us: we didn't grow up together as siblings, we are both in our twenties (21 and 26), and our parents have expressed (albeit somewhat indirectly) support if we decided to move in this direction. Going against us: our parents are dating, if it goes bad in a baddd way we still have to spend time together as a family, potential social stigma, and other family members may not be as accepting as our parents.", "summary": "My adult kinda-stepbrother and I are dating secretly and feeling some major conflicts. In desperate need of advice, maybe someone who has been through something similar, or anything helpful. Thank you!"} {"id": "t3_2aqmu9", "subreddit": "self", "title": "I don't know what I should do about this cat.", "post": "There's a semi-feral cat hanging around my house. She's \"owned\" by my neighbors, who got the cat for their five-year-old kid (who just picks the cat up and slings it around), but my neighbors make the cat stay outside. \n\nShe had a litter of three kittens back in the beginning of April, and as of last week, only one of those kittens is still alive. She has some sort of deformity and is severely malnourished, as were the other kittens who passed. They're all riddled with fleas as well.\n\nI fed the cat because I'm stupid and I felt bad for them and I really don't want to confront my neighbors. \n\nThe adult cat is currently in heat, which only makes the situation worse. I know it's only a matter of time before she has another litter.\n\nAnimal control will only come pick the cats up if one of them bit somebody, otherwise, I'd have to capture both and take them myself.\n\nI don't know what to do. I can't adopt the cat, or her kitten. I can't talk to my neighbors, because they obviously have about as much regard for the cat's welfare as I do for the gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe.\n\n", "summary": " Semi-feral cat \"owned\" by neighbors who don't care, has already had one litter of kittens and is well on her way to having a second. I don't know what I should do."} {"id": "t3_2h8l6g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(19M) am seeing a girl(18F) who is way out of my league. Help me with my insecurity.", "post": "I started texting this extremely cute girl who is also very intelligent and sweet a few weeks ago. We went on our first date last Friday and it went really well. I kissed her and she held my hand as we walked under a starry night sky. She said she had a great time and invited me to do something this weekend including spending the night ;)\n\nNow, I was ugly for most of my life. Over the past few years I've put lots of work into losing weight, hygiene, fitness/lifting, social skills, etc. and I made it to the point where most people started to find me attractive this summer.\n\nI only like how I look when I am at a really low bodyfat percentage, and this fall I have been putting on some weight and some of it is water retention from my high sodium school diet. The weight I am putting on is necessary for the weightlifting routine I have been undertaking. \n\nI don't care as much about some fat on my body, but the fat I gain first is deposited in my face/neck and it makes me look really bad. Like, from a 7-8/10 to a 4-5/10(in my opinion). \n\nHow do I help purge this from my mind? I hate insecurity. I know she could get with a way more attractive guy than me and I hate these immature feelings.", "summary": "Girl is way hotter than me. She likes me. I'm scared of her not liking me because of my appearance and body image problems. I am insecure."} {"id": "t3_3xv4iu", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "After A Parent Dies - Help and advice for a non-parent who's parenting", "post": "In July my best friend died, leaving behind her twin 10 year old girls and her grieving husband. We were more than best friends. She was basically my wife for 18 years. \n\nIn the aftermath of her sudden and unexpected death, my husband and I have upped our involvement with the children. We are their guardians, should anything happen with their Dad and are now taking them on some weekends to give him some time to adult. My friend's mother also moved into the house to help, but she is older and hasn't been a teenage (or preteen) in sometime. Neither her nor her husband know how to \"girl\" and as a result, I can see trouble brewing... \n\nHusband and I do not have children (this was actually a year we were ttc but with all the stress?) and while I have plenty of experience babysitting, actually parenting? Completely foreign. We've been seeing ourselves as cool Aunt/Uncle but we realize that as time goes on we're entering into parenting zone.\n\nI do recognize too, that I will be the one who is the role model / confident / guiding force during the adolescent/teen years... To do that without screwing them up I feel like I should study up.\n\nThen there is the fact that they are grieving and I'd probably feel better if I understood how the child brain deals with such a trauma. What things to say and do vs. those that could potentially cause more harm. I can think of a gazillion obvious ones but it's the not-so-obvious ones that I'd like to learn about.\n\nSo, r/parenting... help? Books? Resources? They are/were in grief counselling, but if I'm not over the loss of their Mom... well, I can't imagine they are either. I just don't want to do more harm then good and would like to know what land mines I should be trying to avoid.\n\nThanks for any and all advice.", "summary": "Best friend died and I'm stepping in to help parent 10 year old girls when I have zero parenting experience. Books? resources? Advice?"} {"id": "t3_3o9s0d", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Fitness trackers and actual calorie consumption", "post": "Like me, I think the majority of people seeking to lose weight have a larger issue with overeating than not moving enough. It's the same old thing we always state and restate - it's easier to just not eat the 300 cals of cookies than jog for half an hour.\n\nSo why are so many people thinking a fitness tracker is going to help them lose weight? Eating 2500 a day, and being keenly aware that you're burning 2500 a day is not going to change anything.\n\nI tried it myself, and it didn't help *for me* - not without eating less - which I can do without a fitness tracker.\n\nSo here's the issue, and my question... Is there a fitness tracker that will alert and remind me on my wrist how many calories I have left to eat in the day? \n\nThis information being always readily available with a tap or a swipe would highly drop the barrier to checking MFP (which I know is already low, but considering I'm struggling with this...).\n\nSo far, it seems fitness trackers simply only track an upward marching \"calories burned so far\". Which is not THAT helpful for weight loss when diet is far more influential to the process.\n\nI'm not an app developer, but it seems trivial to me to just make it an option/screen data point available on the tracker that just pulls from the app or MyFitnessPal. It's ONE number, and everything else is already synced anyway.", "summary": "fitness trackers only count calories up, they don't tell you how much left you have to eat so you can make better eating decisions on the fly. I want to be able to check my calories left like I check the time."} {"id": "t3_2gf6wm", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying on condoms", "post": "After dealing with the embarrassment of buying condoms, naturally, I tried one on to see if it was the right size. So I was sitting on my bed, door closed, ears open in case my mom were to come in. Lucky for me they were a perfect fit. \n Just then I hear footsteps coming through the hall, I'm prepared for this. Fast as lightning; got the condom off, into it's wrapper, in the nearby bin, tucked and zipped my manhood back in, put the test condom on the bottom of the trash out of sight, straight up ninja. They were just passing by my room to go downstairs but it doesn't hurt to be careful. I put one in a side pocket of my wallet and carried on with my day.\n Later that day, my best friend, his girlfriend, and a particularly attractive French foreign exchange student that was staying at her house, had gone go-karting and then to a nearby restaurant to eat. After a little while I needed to use the bathroom, I get up and go. I step into a stall, unzip and begin to answer the call of nature. To my dismay, I had forgotten to wipe the lubricant residue after trying on the condom. So my stream split into four; of which, none of them went forward. It hit my shoe, my hand, my pants, and the floor. Immediate panic pinch. I grab nearby tp and wipe myself and my surroundings, and assess the damage, nothing major thankfully. I figure she won't notice my shoes but I had to do something about the spot on my pants. There is a hand dryer and towel dispenser combo on the wall, so I used both at the same time.\n So I'm leaning there, crotch out forward with one hand funneling air and making sure the blow dryer stayed on and the other holding a paper towel to help dry. Just my fucking luck, another dude walks in, sees me, pauses and continues into the stalls. I just want this day to end. I figure the spot is relatively gone, I was up and leave. Nobody noticed a thing, well apart from that one guy.\n Happy birthday to me.", "summary": "I tried on condoms and didn't wipe off afterwards, ended up pissing on myself. Which lead to an awkward meeting in the bathroom."} {"id": "t3_3ic6i4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29M] may have fallen in love with another woman other than my wife [27F]", "post": "Thanks for reading this. I'll try to make this concise so as not to have a huge wall of text.\n\nMy wife and I have been married for 4 years, together 11. We are the only people one another has ever dated. No kids. No mortgage. \n\nThe last couple years, things have been very up and down. Nothing extremely drastic. No fighting or anything like that. Just indifference. We've become roommates. Dead bedroom. I can't remember the last time we've had a long, engaging discussion where both of us are excited about the topic and equally contributing. I don't even know what we would talk about at this point to make that happen. I've talked to her a few times about my feelings and while things will get better for a short time, our routines will fall back to the norm. \n\nIn the meantime, I may have fallen for a friend of mine. I know that is a mistake on my part. Everything is emotional; nothing has ever happened physically. This girl has quite literally become my very best friend. I'm in very deep with her. \n\nI think what is mainly keeping me in this marriage is my reluctance to hurt my wife outweighs my desire to be with anyone else. My wife says she's still all completely in and no part of her wants out. I do think my leaving would crush her. \n\nBut I am so unhappy and hurting. I've never had anxiety like this before. I want to be happy but I can't stand the thought of hurting her so bad. A very large part of me wants, has checked out actually, but it still kills me to think of hurting her. At the same time, I know it's also not fair to her to stay in half committed. \n\nWe signed a lease to rent a house that we take possession of next week. So all this pressure and anxiety is building within me as I see the next year of my life decided for me.\n\nI guess I'm just asking if anyone else here has been in this situation? What did you do? What advice can anyone offer?", "summary": "A large part of me wants out of my marriage and to possibly be with a friend of mine but I can't bear the thought of hurting my wife."} {"id": "t3_34o1tt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've [20F] recently been diagnosed with Aspergers, my dad [43M] keeps calling me stupid.", "post": "On Thursday, I was diagnosed with Aspergers. My family and friends always thought I was just anti-social and slow. \n\nWell, apparently I'm not. I'm just on the spectrum. I'm not having a hard time accepting it, because on some level I've always known. \n\nWhen I told my family, my dad asked what it meant - so I explained it to the best of my abilities. \n\nHe then said to me: Oh, so you're half retarded. \n\nI just laughed it off initially, but it actually hurt my feelings a lot. \n\nI have no idea what to do from here. I live with them so NC isn't really possible.", "summary": "I was diagnosed with Aspergers, dad called me stupid. Is something I'm always going to have to deal with?"} {"id": "t3_wy6n0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I feel like college is a waste of time. Paying bucketloads of money to take four courses a semester and live in a culture of partying just doesn't seem worth it to me. Am I wrong, and would it be a mistake to not go to college?", "post": "Here's the situation: I went to a private school in New York City where all are encouraged to apply to excellent colleges and universities. I applied to college and got into a top state university (which was my choice over a smaller liberal arts school, especially as I was interested in engineer/computer science). I then decided to take a year off to volunteer in public schools in a different city and deferred the school where I got accepted.\n\nI've spent this summer working in an environment completely unlike I was used to, in a small town in the midwest. (I'm working at a summer camp on a Native American reservation, one of the poorest areas of the U.S.) I realized that college wasn't the absolute necessary next step in my life, that I could instead move to a different place or city and get a job with what I'm interested (service, education, working with children), and jump straight to living in the real world. \n\nTo me, the idea of paying bucketloads of money for an education that is tangential to what I might actually be doing, to live in a place where there's a big party culture with a lot of spoiled kids, just doesn't appeal to me. A lot of people talk about \"life experience,\" but I don't see how getting a job doing something relevant to my interests in the real world isn't life experience. And in terms of income, I understand that a college degree increases your income potential but honestly, making a lot of money never really interested me. I'd much rather make a modest living and get by.\n\nSo my question is: over the next year I have the choice of not going to college, to moving on to something else that interests me. Would I be making a huge mistake? Is college something that is absolutely necessary to survive in this world? I'm really lost, and given that there are a lot of college and post-college age people here, I would much appreciate your input.", "summary": "Taking a year off after high school to volunteer instead of going to college, and I've started to feel like college is a waste of time. Am I making a mistake if I don't go to college?"} {"id": "t3_1vi2m0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ready, willing and able, but concerned about starting a relationship? [m??] [f25]", "post": "I am the f. So I stepped out of the dating scene for a while to work out some issues. Destroyed one potentially amazing relationship in the meantime, but had I not done so I would have destroyed it with my issues anyway, so catch22 really. I'd rather take my time and do something right than rush in and do it wrong.\n\nThat said, now I'm ready for a relationship but I know, because of the time I've taken away from dating and the last relationship I had (which was somewhat psychologically traumatic) it's going to be awkward and uncomfortable to broach certain barriers, like touching and kissing and all that comes after that, even just expressing my interest is not going to be fluid or easy or particularly fun for the other person.\n\nIt's not that it will always be this way - I'm huge on cuddles and sex and affection of all kinds, these are a few of my favourite things - it's just that these first times are going to not be awesome, no matter what, and I can't guarantee how long it will take until I do ease into the situation.\n\nI feel that I would be inflicting myself on someone who deserves fun and flirting and romance, not a challenge and awkwardness. But unfortunately that's what I have to offer.\n\nAny advice on finding this miraculously patient person? Please don't say therapy - I am in therapy, and they are helping me deal with my past and anxiety, but I'm not going to learn how to touch and kiss and snuggle with them. At some point that's going to have to happen with some poor hapless guy.", "summary": "First relationship after traumatic events - how to broach/work through these to get to the other side. Yes, I am implying I'm a chicken."} {"id": "t3_3637dw", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Changing careers. My school is unique, and most traditional school loans are unavailable. Seeking creative ways to pay $15k in tuition.", "post": "I'm making a career change, and am enrolling in a coding \"bootcamp.\" These types of schools are a newer concept, and finding loans for tuition and living expenses can be difficult. Most coding bootcamps cost around **$10k US** and most do not offer payment plans., tuition is due upfront. *r/personalfinance, can you help me brainstorm ways to pay my tuition and family's living expenses for 4 months?*\n\n* **What are coding bootcamps?**\nBootcamps train participants how to code in various computer languages in a short amount of time. Many bootcamps basically guaranteed that you will be hired out of school as a Jr. Developer, many bootcamps will refund your money if you're not hired. Schools that don't offer refunds will usually let you take the bootcamp again, for free. The bootcamp I'm considering has 97% of their students hired immediately upon completion, 100% within 6 months. The average starting wage for a Jr. Developer in my midwestern location is around 50-70k. I will not be able to work during my school, as because the school requires 10hrs of class time, and 4hrs of homework each day, 6 days a week.\n \n* **My Background:**\nI'm a married 30-something with three small children. We're a single-income family and have no debt (except one small school loan w/ $75/mo payments), and 12k in retirement funds (not available for tuition). I make approx 25k/yr, so you can see why I'm looking for a career change. We're renting a house, have very controlled spending habits, and low monthly bills, totaling approx $1300/mo including rent.", "summary": "I'm enrolling in a coding bootcamp that will end in a good job, but will costs about $15k w/ living expenses. I don't know how to pay for school, and am seeking your advice. "} {"id": "t3_3s2itw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my boyfriend [24M] 2.5 yrs, I get way too competitive.", "post": "I would genuinely like some advice, because I feel like it's messing with my relationship and I love my boyfriend way too much to just let that happen. \n\nMy bf and I like to play games (like card games) together. I get way too competitive, to the point where I feel like I'm incredibly unpleasant to play with. I'm fortunate in that he finds my temper tantrums funny for the most part, but I feel genuine rage when I'm losing and dealing with it is not my strong point- I will quit, I will stop speaking to him, I once kicked him in the shin (never again, I still feel terrible about it). This has been an issue since I was a small child, and I've dealt with it for most of my life by avoiding situations in which I might become competitive.\n\nNow I'm an adult, and frankly I actually like playing games. I just can't seem to not get crazy competitive with my bf! It doesn't seem to be as much of a problem with other people, and I'm much better at gracefully accepting a loss in a group. It's also recently reared it's ugly head because we've both started a new activity together and I've already nearly quit because he's slightly better than me. It's ridiculous, it's emotionally taxing, and I want to not turn into an awful person every time I do something with my bf.\n\nIf anyone has any tips, I would be grateful. I am considering doing therapy at some point, but I'm currently not in a position to do that as I'm travelling.", "summary": "I get unpleasantly competitive but actually like doing competitive things and would like some strategies to deal with this issue."} {"id": "t3_1srtt8", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Could my girlfriend be pregnant?", "post": "Ok so my girlfriend and I were dry-humping with our clothes fully on (jeans, panties, briefs, shirts) and I started to feel like I was going to come soon. So I pulled away as soon as I could, and I believe it was before I came, I'm 99.9% sure. I'm actually fairly sure that when I pulled away I held it in as long as I could (a couple of seconds) before I actually came. However, this may not be the case unfortunately, but it is very likely. After, I went and cleaned up and there was no more contact down there for the rest of the night.\n\nThree weeks later, she still has not had her period. She was supposed to have it the week of the occurance stated above. I had not told her that I came that night, but she was getting worried because of the late period. I have read that this could be due to the fact that we're in a new relationship, and our hormones are raging a lot of the time. Anyways, when she asked and I told her that I came that night we both began to get really scared and worried. The day after, today, she felt nauseated in the morning. This especially worries me because this is a well-known sign of pregnancy. But in addition, she suffers from various mental disorders, so could the possible morning sickness just be in her head? I've heard that that can happen. She has also told me that she has started to have a few of her normal signs of PMS, but also some outliers, like the nausea. We spent the entire day today scared to death that she's pregnant; we're only 16, almost 17, and had agreed that it would be a long time if ever for us to have sex before marriage, this wasn't supposed to happen. I'm extremely worried and scared and terrified that she's pregnant.", "summary": "my girlfriend and I dry-humped with clothes on, I pulled away before I came. Three weeks and still no period, PMS/pregnancy symptoms"} {"id": "t3_2t1nds", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not being desperate.", "post": "So me and my family went out for a nice quiet meal. It's a rare occasion all of us are actually present at meals so it was a nice change, so I thought. My step-dad is a bit of a joker. The kind of joker who sometimes likes to go too far and make you feel awkward. \n \nSo we were ordering our drinks and a cute waitress comes along. My step-dad tries to hint that I'm single, she's cute and I should put 2+2 together and make a move. I'm socially inept and awkward on most days but chatting to a girl in front of all my family? No chance. So my step-dad then comes into play and asks if she's single and if she thinks I'm attractive. She's blushing and smiles off actually answering the question. I then come out with, \"I'm not *that* desperate\". In my head I meant that I'm not desperate enough for my step-dad to hook me up, but it came out all wrong. Instead my family and the poor waitress thought I meant that I'm not desperate enough to chat her up. The girl looked mortified and depressed and I didn't even realize what I said until she had walked away and my family told me. For the rest of the meal this girl had to serve us and I felt completely ashamed and embarrassed. I wanted to apologize and tell her that's not what I meant but of course I'm still socially inept.", "summary": "Told a cute girl I'm not that desperate when trying to chat her up. Not what I meant at all."} {"id": "t3_3b7skz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 F] with my bf [30 M] of 10 months, I keep obsessively internet-stalking his ex and I think I have a problem/", "post": "I'm sure we've all been curious and googled a person's ex before... but I'm starting to think that I have a more-than-average problem with it.\n\nIt's not that I'm worried that my bf will get back together with his ex. They don't have contact and it clearly didn't work. I honestly don't even know how much of a future my relationship with my bf has. Yet I've started checking his ex's instagram, twitter, fb, whatever pretty much daily. It's gotten to a point where I have a secret album in my phone where I store new pics of her that she posts. When she posts a new one I get excited. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me!?!??!\n\nI think I'm insecure about not being as attractive, though I think I'm fairly close. But more than that I'm afraid she's cooler, or more stylish or something. She's kind of more hip than my current bf, and I wonder if knowing he had a hot girlfriend affected my desire to date him. Also, they had a bad breakup and while I don't fear that they'll get back together, I think that their level of passion was \"love of my life\" status (Sidebar: Is it normal to be with someone for 7 months and not be sure you're in love with them?)\n\nI've looked at ex-of-bf's photos in the past but have never been obsessed to this level before. Ugh. What's going onnnn! Am I a monster?", "summary": "I internet stalk my boyfriend's ex in a way that I'm starting to fear is abnormal. Does anybody else do this? And why am I doing it? How do I stop!?"} {"id": "t3_16iogj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] had relatively small bad experiences in the past, and now can't get over feelings of insecurity in a new relationship with [18M].", "post": "I realize this is going to sound whiny, but if nothing else, I would like reassurance that my behavior is normal. \n\nIn September 2012, my boyfriend of 10 months dumped me. I had gotten depressed, gained ten pounds, become bulimic, retreated into isolation, and took him for granted. He stopped being in love with me (or infatuation, whichever) and broke up with me, a decision I understand and for which I accept complete responsibility. \n\nNow, a couple months later, I fought to regain mental health. I crawled out of depression, worked on bettering my relationship with food and my body, lost weight, restored my grades, etc. Just at the end of December I got into another relationship, hoping that I was ready for it. And now I'm realizing I might not be. \n\nAny complaints I have seem stupid. The first date (before we were 'dating') he rejected physical contact with me. He's never complimented me (and oh god how narcissistic this sounds) although in my previous relationship it was a very regular thing for us to show verbal affection for each other. I never initiate holding hands or cuddling and I've found myself shying away from when he tries to kiss me, because I feel like I'm just going to be rejected again.\n\nI would really appreciate advice on how I'm supposed to get over this insecurity and fear of rejection, if anyone can help me. Thank you so much.", "summary": "I'm a legal adult and I'm behaving like a 12-year-old around my new boyfriend due to insecurity issues. Help?"} {"id": "t3_4cwuby", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (24F) with newish semiserious BF (26M) is it bad to go on a copy cat date?", "post": "BACKGROUND\n\nOkay, so I was in a relationship for 7 years (15-22) with someone. While we dated I put in all the effort, arranged fun dates and tried really hard to be the best gf I could be. He put in no effort and arranged no fun dates. I dated around with a few guys between 22-24, nothing longer than a few dates each. Now I'm with someone who I'm pretty serious about, dating 8 months now.\n\n In my first relationship I made it a pretty annual thing that we would go on an adventure tour. The only years we skipped were years I asked him to book the tour and he forgot until it was too late and they were sold out for the year. (it only runs June-August). This was something I wanted to do since I was 13 but wasn't old enough until 16. \n\nTHE ISSUE/", "summary": "I want to do the adventure date I did with my old bf with my new guy. Is that tacky/bad? Would you be peeved if you found out you went on a copycat date?"} {"id": "t3_4mz9sn", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "What were the little changes you made when starting your journey that got you results in the long run?", "post": "Giving up sugar/carbs? Walking 20 minutes a day? Drinking more water? Finding a more consistent sleep schedule?\n\nI recently moved away from my hometown for the first time in my life (32 years). I was living a lifestyle I never thought I'd fall in to: drinking, smoking, late-night fast food, very sedentary. Now that I've removed myself from that environment, I'm finding I'm craving a healthier lifestyle. I've been trying the keto diet as the friend I'm living with has been doing it for a few months and has had great success. I also don't have a car, so it's either cycling or walking for me if I want to get out of the house. I also quit smoking 5 days ago, cold turkey. That's been the hardest bit, but yesterday I went for a 12+ mile hike and I realized quickly how important it is that I stick with it!\n\nI want to do more to start this journey, but I know myself. I'm a former 4-sport and college athlete, and I get very competitive, especially with myself. I can be very black and white (\"You either go to the gym 7 days a week, or don't go at all.\"), which can lead to me getting burnt out very quickly. I don't want that. I want to show myself that I don't need to be miserable and all-or-nothing in order to achieve this goal. \n\nAnyway, I've seen a few posts where people have shared their successes and they often start with, \"It began by giving up soda\" or \"I started taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work\". I'm just curious to know what got you started and what kept you going without wearing you out. \n\nI'm open to ANY feedback. Thanks!", "summary": "Just moved away from home for the first time to start a new life. Looking for some insight on how to get started and not lose the motivation/discipline."} {"id": "t3_30758v", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "A question for parents of picky eaters.", "post": "Do you sneak in healthy stuff? I cook rice in meat stock and recently started adding protein powder to every sauce I make since my herbivores will only eat meat if it has been shredded, reformed and breaded in another country. I puree veggies into red sauces and sometimes kidney chick or black beans if I think I can get away with it. Veggies? No way. \"That's tistusting\" as my 3 year old says.\n\nWhat do you do? \n\nYes, I've tried offering options in many ways, with dips, raw, cooked, spiced, with ketchup, Bento style, and I still keep trying with no luck so far.\n\n*edit", "summary": "what do you sneakily add to the food they like to make it more wholesome? What substitutions do you make that go unnoticed."} {"id": "t3_25t8di", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm F24 dating M26. I don't want to go on vacation with him...alone", "post": "I'm F24 dating M26 for 6 months. He really wants to travel and talks about it quite often. He makes triple what I make, I'm mostly living paycheck to paycheck. I COULD save up for some trips (like $300 dollar ones) but honestly I've never been a traveling type of person. I rather spend my money elsewhere.\n\nBut the thing is, if more people were going on these trips, I'd be into saving up for them. Like, he can invite a few of his friends along and that sounds like a way better time than just us two.\n\nMy bf's great. We fight sometimes but we've seem to have gotten over those fights. Things have been peachy lately.\n\nI don't want to hold him back on these trips by not willing to go but at the same time I don't want to spend such a large percentage of my income on something I'm not even looking forward to.\n\nAnother thing is his friends are all really busy so the chances of any of them being able to take vacation time are slim.\n\nYes, I'd be grumpy if he only went with his friends because I only get to see him 3 times a month (he lives an hour away and works a lot). Cutting down our time by 33% would definitely irk me.", "summary": "I want to make my boyfriend happy by going on trips with him but I don't actually think traveling is worth its dollar amount."} {"id": "t3_15e5ds", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22f] can't find a job in the area and am really unhappy here, but my boyfriend [25m] won't let me consider moving.", "post": "I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and have been out of college since May. I really want to start my career, and we live in a very densely populated area with few jobs in my field. I know the job market is tough everywhere, but I really want to consider options in other places because there could be amazing opportunities for me somewhere else!\n\nI also HATE the town/area/state that I live in for many reasons. Both my bf and I are living with our parents, and I'm really ready to get out on my own. He seems to have 0 motivation to move out, and even though I've tried to explain this to him a few times, he doesn't understand my ambition and frustration living here. \n\nSo here is the problem: My boyfriend says that it's not \"normal\" for someone in a relationship to consider moving away from a SO. He says I have to break up with him if I APPLY to jobs somewhere else. But I've shared this with him before, and I'm MISERABLE living the way I do and want to have a chance at a good life! But of course this is a problem because I still want to be with him, but also want a career. Can I not have both?", "summary": "I want a job, and the only way to get one MAY be to move. My bf does not want me to consider jobs outside of our state. Is there a way to work this out?"} {"id": "t3_4ik867", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is there anyway to solve this seemingly insurmountable problem with BF [27M] and I [23F]?", "post": "This problem has been plaguing me for months and has caused me to start going to counseling. \n\nBoyfriend of 2.5 years and I moved across the U.S. to his new base (military) 6 months ago. I quit my job to come, and expected to find a new one. Well it's been a few months and I still haven't, and it's become pretty apparent that I won't. And now that it's been so long since I left my previous job, it's close to impossible to get a job anywhere now ( my job requires currency). In the meantime, my savings is rapidly disappearing. \n\nHere's the problem- My boyfriend signed up to date (and has proposed to) a girl that's well-employed, career driven, splits half our living costs, ect. Now that I am none of those I feel it's unfair to him and that I won't be viewed as an equal or respected in our relationship. So by committing fully to the relationship and coming here with him, I feel like I completely damned it. I have no idea what to do.", "summary": "I moved across country with boyfriend, can't find a job, and that jeopardizing the relationship. Is this solveable?"} {"id": "t3_3te3ud", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by calling everyone in my classroom a cunt.", "post": "Okay, so just like most TIFU's, this didn't happen today. So it was an ordinary day in my fifth grade class, and my teacher went outside the classroom to deal with some kid who got in trouble in the neighboring classroom. My teacher then sends the little trouble maker in our classroom so she could have a talk with his teacher. Soon after my teacher leaves the classroom, it turns into chaos in there. Everyone was talking, laughing, and screaming while I was desperately trying to complete my work, but it was too loud for me to concentrate. Being fed up with all the kids in the classroom, I yelled out \"EVERYONE IN THE CLASS WHO IS TALKING IS A CUNT!\" (I did not know what \"cunt\" meant at the time, I thought it was a synonym for \"idiot\") Right after I yelled that out, the kid who got in trouble recognized the word and yelled out, \"OOOOOOHHH!! TEACHER! THAT KID SAID A BAD WORD!!.\" I was then sent to the office after my teacher repeatedly asked me questions while I tried to hold back tears. I then got an ODR and had to explain to my mom what happened, and she told my aunt, who then made me look up \"cunt\" on google so I could find out the actual meaning. I swear that I heard Vicky from the The Fairly Odd Parents call Timmy a cunt...", "summary": "Couldn't concentrate in class because everyone was talking, called everyone a cunt after thinking that I heard it on The Fairly Odd Parents."} {"id": "t3_zl15q", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I [M18] nearly hooked up with my best friend's ex [F18], now I think I really like her and don't know what to do", "post": "I got drunk the first night of college and, long story short, I nearly hooked up with my best friends ex. He broke things off with after she hooked up with another one of our good friends. He still cares for her a little, and even though I was ridiculously drunk I managed to tell her I wouldn't do anything with her because I value my friendship with her ex too much. Do you have any idea how hard it is to say this as a virgin with a drunk girl lying on your bed with her boobs out telling you to stop being so nice and be selfish for once and do it? Well I managed to contain myself and we just talked through the night. \n\nI met my friend a few days later for lunch and told him about what happened, he understood. Thing is, because I didn't end up doing anything with his ex, we talked the entire time, I was drunk and confessed my depression to her which I've never told anyone about, we found we had a lot of similarities like unhappy families and depression. I'm confused about my feelings now and can't pursue this because I value my friendship with him too much. I didn't tell my friend about the second part either, so I still feel incredibly guilty. \n\nI guess I'm asking for advice on what to do. My friend says he wouldn't be so mad if I hooked up with her later (I'm dorming in the same building as her, things happen), since he knows I've never hooked up with a girl, but he said don't try to actively pursue it. I don't know how he'd react if I ended up dating her.", "summary": "Never hooked up with a girl before, got drunk and almost did with my best friends ex, ended up talking and connecting. Now I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_m4sqv", "subreddit": "self", "title": "lesson: \"you're doomed! DOOOOOMED! MWAHAHA!\" is not the way to resolve a problem with your wife.", "post": "on my journey between work and finding carhartt beanies and home, I called my wife 2 times detailing my location and actions.\nBUT\n\"well I don't know where you've been!\"\n\nwell fuckin guess. I've been out makin drug deals and fucking blond girls. that's why there's 40 minutes unaccounted for, and that's why I've got 4 hats and an early 90s skate deck; it was all an ingenious plot to TRICK you! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!\nyou're doomed! DOOOOOOMED!\n\nor maybe I was trying to find the hat I like, and ended up in a conversation with the dude that sold me the hats.\n\nthank you for listening, and actually, this transcript is very accurate; I threw my arms in the air and said,\"i tricked you! you're doomed! DOOOOMED! MWAHAHA!\"\n\nto say the least, it was not received well.", "summary": "you're doomed! DOOOOOOMED! MWAHAHA!!\" is not something that will ever be taken well by probably anyone..."} {"id": "t3_4p8cvu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24F] husband [23M] of 2 yrs hurt me emotionally and wants to do couples counselling to fix things but hasn't made steps to make that happen.", "post": "My husband has been repeatedly mean to me when we argue. He borders on being essentially verbally abusive when we argue. Recently he realized what he was doing and how it was making me feel and promised he'd do anything to make things better. A while ago I suggested counselling and recently he said he'd want to do it. The problem is that I think he expects me schedule the session. I know of someone who we could see but I want him to schedule the session and show that he's actually willing to get help.\n\nI don't want to just end this relationship without trying to fix it cause other than this things have been gr eat. I also don't want to take the reins and start fixing it myself cause he was the one that was abusive to me and I need him to show me that he really is willing to get help. Should I tell him I need him to actually call and set up the appointment or just wait and see if he does it? \n\nI don't know if this question sounds stupid. I'd appreciate any help or advice you have.", "summary": "husband was repeatedly verbally abusive to me during arguments, says he will do anything to fix it, but has not yet scheduled couples counselling even though he said he would."} {"id": "t3_2zpzig", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my Employee/Co-Worker [26 F] ~6 Months. I can't stand her.", "post": "I help manage a non-profit childcare site for k-5. My position title is \"Assistant Director\" and my relevant responsibilities to this post are organizing staff disposition and jobs.\n\nI have an employee who is very serious and emotionally invested in everything. All. The. Time. While I respect her work ethic and ambition in an abstract sense she has made this job I love feel arduous and frustrating.\n\nAlmost every time she opens her mouth she says shit I completely disagree with in regards to both how things should be done and why they should be done that way.\n\nThis has been a bit of a power struggle. She has contacted the regional coordinator who has responded positively to some of her critiques while also telling her that the site is ours (Site director's and mine) to run as we see fit. In reflection though I wish the regional coordinator had told her to come talk to us in the first place because we never had a real opportunity to hash out our differences in opinion.\n\nI've never been a fan of strict schedules or exacting day plans. I feel like being flexible and going with the flow is an integral part of success in what we do. This person continues to grate on my nerves by complaining about how things are and undermining my/our authority with other staff members. I'm unsure how to deal with it and/or end it.", "summary": "This person makes me furious on a regular basis with her rude comments and unwillingness to have a reasonable discussion about our disagreements. How do I put my foot down on an employee who's opinions and comportment drastically conflict with mine."} {"id": "t3_3mk24s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My parents (50sF/60sM) won't allow my fianc\u00e9 (28M) and myself (25F) to share a bed when we visit", "post": "So, to start I want to explain the issue of us not being allowed to share a bed isn't the biggest deal to me as we only visit for a day or two every few months and actually lived near enough for awhile this is the first time we've dealt with it in 2 years. My actual issue is that it feels sort of insulting in a way? As if we'd be so immature that we'd have sex in their home or our 5 year relationship and the fact that we share a home is so meaningless that sharing a bed is obscene? My mother (who lived with her previous bf before she met my dad and also lived with him before marriage as well) explained it once 4 years ago as \"my house, my rules and sharing a bed before marriage is a sin and I won't allow it under my roof\". I don't know if my dad actually cares as he had a kid when he met my mom and isn't religious. \n\nI'm basically just wondering if there is a tactful way to bring it up for discussion with them? Like I said, it's not sharing a bed that is important to me as much as it is not being allowed that bothers me. And yes, I know once we're married we'll be allowed to (I hope!) but... It just feels unnecessarily controlling as it currently stands.", "summary": "Parents won't let me and my fianc\u00e9 of 5 years share a bed when visiting, is their a tactful way to discuss this with them?"} {"id": "t3_4lf2in", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] am a little worried about the way my former friend's brother [30s?M] is acting toward me, but I might just be paranoid", "post": "So this will probably require some background. I used to have this really good friend. We'll call him Malcolm. He and I had a really bad falling out a few years ago and haven't talked at all since. It was my fault, and he doesn't want to see me again. I've run into him once or twice since and he flat out ignored me.\n\nI used to spend a lot of time at his house, and his brother (who we will call Jack) lived there too. He was often there when I was, and I enjoyed hanging out with the two of them, although I never once spent time just with Jack. He was only my friend because i was friends with Malcolm. I like Jack a lot, but most people I know don't, including his brother. Some people have described him as aggressive or domineering, and others have called him creepy. But he's never been anything nice to me. I guess the fact that he looks, acts, and sounds almost exactly like Cypher from The Matrix doesn't help. \n\nThis falling out with Malcolm happened nearly two years ago. I haven't spoken with Jack much since. We had a brief chat once when we ran into each other on the street, and texted each other at Christmas. That's about it. But about two weeks ago, I got a surprise call from him, saying he wanted to hang out when I return from vacation, maybe go to his house in the country, he can give me some driving lessons, etc. Normally I would be really eager to go, but a few things are bothering me about it: 1. This would probably be a disrespectful and weird thing to do to Malcolm, right? And 2. Something in the way he was talking was a lite odd. He said something along the lines of \"I can be like your big brother.\"\n\nI told him I would call him back when I get home in a month or so, but I am not so sure. Would this be an affront to Malcolm, and should I be worried about him taking me alone to somewhere no one would actually be able to hear me scream?", "summary": "estranged friend's brother wants to bring me to his house in the woods, want to but am a little paranoid about it"} {"id": "t3_1ikoqn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[29F] am having a difficult time being supportive to my husband of 1 year [35M] during this emotional time", "post": "My husband and I have gone through 2 consecutive miscarriages in the last 4 months. It's been a very emotional time. The grief, despair, frustration, pain, and trauma have been incredibly taxing (on us both). Additionally, he and I both process our emotions in such completely different ways. I've been expressive and needy, while he is quiet and withdrawn. He feels like he has to be strong for us, especially when I'm breaking down. Sometimes I wish he could just stop that act and come be sad with me.\n\nYesterday, he shared with me that he feels so much pressure from the demands of his job, trying to get into school, providing for our family, and trying to be supportive of me during this time. I know he just needed to blow some steam but the way he said it felt like there may be some resentment towards me. I asked if that's what he meant. He said no, but I can't seem to shake this feeling.\n\nI am finishing up my college degree and I am not contributing financially to our family at this time. It's the first time in my adult life that I've been dependent on someone else. As such, these feelings of being needy (both financially and emotionally) are very foreign to me. I guess I have some guilt about it. I'm doing my best to clean and help around the house, but I'm also very overwhelmed with school, infertility testing, processing emotions, etc. Seriously, I don't even get much sleep. I want to be able to help alleviate some of his pressure, but I don't know how when I already feel stretched so thin.\n\nI am seeing a therapist and we are going to marriage counseling, but it'll be at least another week until we can get more appointments.\n\nAny suggestions?", "summary": "Multiple miscarriage grief is taking a toll on my husband and I. My husband feels overwhelmed trying to keep us afloat. How can I help?"} {"id": "t3_248em5", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Yes", "post": "That one word. It's three letters, but it makes me so ridiculously, over-the-top happy! I can't believe it! A week ago, I asked this girl who I've had what can only be described as a \"mutual like-ship\" with to be my girlfriend. She said she'd have to think about, see about her parents and whatnot. It hurt for some reason. She didn't say no, but it did.\n\nBut that doesn't matter! She said yes! Now I know what you're thinking reddit, \"this kid is just in high school. He doesn't know anything about anything yet.\" And you know what? That's true. But I don't care! I'm happy! Two years ago when I started high school I didn't even begin to fathom that this could happen. I hated myself. I was an introvert that felt that no one could like me. I thought I wasn't good enough. I didn't even have the ability to talk to girls. I didn't think I was that type of guy with that ability. But now I have my first girlfriend! She makes me happy! All that stress I get with as many APs as I'm taking just goes away when I talk to her. Those 4 minutes I have completely alone with her everyday is the highlight of me day! I got motivated to change myself (part of why I made an account on reddit), and now I get to be in a relationship with someone who makes me want to keep improving even more!\n\nI'm young. For obvious reasons, what I'm experiencing is probably fleeting. But that one word just made all the difference. I know it's stupid, but I don't care! She's awesome and I'm so ridiculously glad this is happening.", "summary": "Former introvert asked girl to be his first girlfriend in high school. She said yes. I'm young, but still it's huge for me and I'm happy."} {"id": "t3_4jxd26", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my GF [28 F] of 3 months, she lives an hour away and I have conflicting feelings depending on whether I'm with her or not", "post": "I posted on here a while back about making things official with a girl I'd been seeing. We ended up doing so, and it's been going alright. However, she lives about about an hour away from, so we only see each other ~3 days/week. I've noticed that I feel differently about her depending on whether I'm with her or not. When I'm not with her, I tend to focus on her negative attributes and ruminate about the things I don't like about her -- not only the things that bug and annoy me, but how much better it would be to be single again. However, when I'm with her, I tend to forget those things to some degree and I do enjoy her company. Has anyone else felt this way/Is this normal? If so, how do you manage? \n\nAnd might this be indicative of some kind of incompatibility?\n\nI know the easy answer to this dilemma is to just 'hang out with her more,' but that's not really possible given my work and her schedule.", "summary": "Pseudo LDR -- having conflicting feelings about my GF depending on whether I'm physically with her or not -- not really sure what to do about it or if it's indicative of anything/an ominous sign."} {"id": "t3_50q4j1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 F] with a guy [25 M], can't tell if he has a girlfriend and now it feels weird to ask??", "post": "Will keep it short:\n\n- We met at a mutual friend's party, and almost got together, but I swear he told me he had a girlfriend so I backed away when he tried (he was not in any way acting like he had a girlfriend).\n\n- Added him on Facebook, it said he was single so I figured maybe I'd misheard. We started messaging and have been for a while. He's been away but we've now made plans to meet up.\n\n- I genuinely can't tell if he just wants to be friends or if he has a girlfriend. I tried to ask subtly (e.g. did you see your girlfriend over the weekend?) and he flat out ignored that part of the message. There's a girl who keeps posting photos of them at dinner, on a trip together, so I assumed she was.. but I have no idea. My mutual friend says to her knowledge he doesn't and refuses to ask (she's a difficult person). \n\n- Should I actually just ask him flat out now? I'm about to message him about plans we'd been making, and I'm trying to act casual/etc, but honestly I'm not looking for a friend: so part of me just wants to ask (e.g. casually): 'have you been hanging out with your friends/girlfriend (do you have girlfriend?). Is that fine? It seems a bit weird in one message to say both \"let's get drinks Thursday\" and \"do you have a girlfriend?\" but I don't know how else to find out..", "summary": "Have been messaging/flirting with a guy I really connected with and nearly got with, no idea if he has a girlfriend, we're making plans to meet up and I want to know."} {"id": "t3_3pvciu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [18F] won't tell me [17M] why she's upset", "post": "So for the past few days my girlfriend has been a little on edge and seems a little distant. Recently, she's fine in person, but while texting she's slow to respond and doesn't say much, but what she does say always seems like she's in a bad mood.\n\nToday, finally she tells me that she's kind of down, but when I asked why, she said she didn't want to talk about it. I suspect it's probably due to her parents, they fight often for reasons I won't get into.\n\nThe reason I'm concerned is because she usually tells me what's bothering her, regardless of what's going on, but for some reason she's being intentionally distant. I'm not really sure what to do, or how to respond, it's kind of bothering me and I want to help her.\n\nWe've been dating for 6 months (first serious relationship for both of us) but we were close friends for over 2 years before that, and we're both seniors in high school if that helps at all.", "summary": "Girlfriend, who usually is very open about her problems, is upset and won't tell me why. What can I do to help her?"} {"id": "t3_u9bpg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it time to break up?", "post": "Alright, here's a little background. My boyfriend [19M] and I [17F] have been dating for almost 6 months. We've known each other all through high school, despite going to different schools. I just graduated high school, and he is going into his second year of college. We were really good friends before we started dating. Since we went to different schools that were about an hour apart, our entire friendship and most of our relationship has been long-distance. We've gotten by and fallen in love via Skype and Facebook for the most part. \n\nEverything has been good until the last few weeks. I think I'm out of the 'honeymoon phase' now...but he isn't. He still showers me with affection and romantic letters, messages, and gifts, but I don't reciprocate those feelings as strongly. I care about him, yes, but I don't feel 'fireworks' or anything now.\n\nMy thinking about this started when I realized that he isn't the person I thought he would be from our online chats. Sure, I still love him, but I think I over-romanticized and over-fantasized about how he would be. What I'm saying is, my expectations were different from reality, and now I'm left feeling disappointed and wondering if I should stay or if we should break up. I should also mention that I will be going to college this fall, in a different college than he's at, which we will still be about 30 minutes apart. I love him, but he's just not someone I see something long-term with. What can I do to either save my relationship or find a way out without compromising too many feelings?", "summary": "Long-distance BF different in person than I expected, but I still fell in love. Feeling disappointed and not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_1wje1f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25M] caught my (23F) GF (2 years together) texting with her ex about sex and confronted her about it", "post": "During the last few days, I've noticed my GF texting a lot and saw (not exactly snooping, just glancing at the screen when texts arrived) that the number she's texting with was her ex's, who didn't want a long-time relationship with her and broke it off with her shortly before we met.\n\nSo last night when she brushed her teeth I snooped and opened her phone to discover she was texting with him for the past few days and that they were sexting (\"I want you, you're so sexy, tell me you want me and what you'd do to me\"). They also began making plans to meet.\n\nI confronted her about it immediately when she came from the bathroom. She was first scared that I'd hurt her (didn't happen of course and never will), which is understandable considering she had an ex who hit her once. We sat down and I said that this is unacceptable. She said she was sorry, that she loves me, that she's a screw-up and that she did it because she feels alone and has no one other than me to talk to and wants to be \"loved\". I told her she can't continue to text or see this guy, and she said she understands but that it will be hard for her.\n\nWe're together for 2 years, we live together in a tiny apartment in a new city for a year with a dog. I love her to death and I believe she also loves me very much. Other than the dog, we have no friends whatsoever. I can understand feeling alone with no other social interactions, but this was definitely crossing a line and I told her that.\n\nShe said she wants to make this work but that her feelings about why did what she did remain unchanged. I write this post the morning after the fight, not knowing how to proceed really.\n\nShould we try to make it work? Can I get over what I saw in those texts? Those are the questions I'm dealing with, and I'd love to read other people's opinions on how this sounds, because like I said, I don't really have any other confidants and friends in the real world.", "summary": "Caught GF sexting and planning to meet ex-BF. Confronted her about it, said she's sorry but feels alone. What do?"} {"id": "t3_37twhl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Best Friend Want Me?", "post": "My age [18m]and her [17f] I'm a guy and I think my best friend who's a girl in into me. I know how best friend relationships are and I'm sure ours is very different. We haven't been best friends from childhood or anything like that, but we have been friends for about 4 years. We have been close friends a lil while before she got with her current boyfriend. Before she got with him we were very touchy a little too touchy really. But I never asked her out or anything like I wish I had. \n\nBasically why I'm asking is because she gets always wants to know my relationship status and who I like basically that's normal, but if I say anything about a girl she gets kinda jealous. And even tho she has a boyfriend when we talk we flirt a lot. Always talking about sex and stuff along those lines. She loves to call me boo, honey, names like that. Which I still don't know why. I thought it she just txts people with those names but apparently after snooping around I found its just me and her boyfriend who gets those names lol. She always txt me with winky faces after she she replys with something that can sound sexual. She even keeps track of how long we have talked like became friends. When we hangout act like a couple (minus kissing ect...) always hugging and being real close. \n\n I'm just very confused she acts way to flirtatious to just want to be friends in my eyes but I have no clue so hopefully you guys can help me with this problem haha. Just give me an idea on what I should be thinking about this. And also I wouldn't mind some help making this a friends with benefits relationship haha.", "summary": "My guess is she wants more but I'm really not sure at all. Should I try to make moves or no? Any help is appreciated. Peace!"} {"id": "t3_3wvn09", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of 3 months, says she won't tell me what she wants so I don't do it out of obligation.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 months, but we started dating three years ago and broke up for about 9 months. The other day, she told me she felt like I wasn't prioritizing her. This makes sense, since I have finals going on and we're both in college and busy. So I asked her what I could do to prioritize her more: call her more? Skype more often? Compliment her more? Her response was, essentially, \"I'm not going to tell you what I want, since then you'd do it because I asked you too and not because you want to. You should *want* to call me, not call me since I want you to.\"\n\nI really enjoy this girl. This seems so out of character for her, and kind of caught me off guard. She's usually very reasonable about trying to solve problems. We've definitely held the mindset of \"us vs. the problem, not her vs. me\" in the past, but it's kind of hard to separate the problem from the person at this point.", "summary": "If she tells me what she wants, she thinks I'm doing it out of obligation, not because I like her."} {"id": "t3_1z701b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [18F] of 4 months, she was raped, unsure how to even feel a month after", "post": "At the end of last month my girlfriend was raped by an acquaintance, she told me the next day about it, and has sought help for it too. I was there for her, to talk to, to do whatever I could to help. And after a few weeks, she had started feeling a bit better. She was more comfortable with being in public, with being physically close to me, things felt like they were looking up. \n\nThis week she went in to get tested and all that, and now after that, she doesn't want to be anywhere close to me, half the time doesn't even want to hold a hand. After things were looking up, I just feel devastated, I feel like a bad person for caring so much about what I'm getting, or not getting, but it's the feeling deep down. We had panned to spend this weekend together, but will probably only be for a few hours instead of two days. \n\nI feel unwanted and pushed away, I feel more like a friend than her boyfriend. I'm an affectionate person by nature, so being pushed away from that hurts. I hate being associated with what happened, that me touching her can bring those feelings up. \n\nI can feel motivation and drive slipping away from various parts of my life more and more. I love her, I want her to feel better more than anything, but it feels like there's nothing I can do, and that I'm becoming less and less of a boyfriend to her. \n\nWhat do I even do? How do I help her, can I help her? Should I even still be in it?", "summary": "Girlfriend was raped, was making progress, but still feels like I'm more of a friend than anything. Don't feel close anymore."} {"id": "t3_4jtq55", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21m] try to do everything my girlfriend [20f] of a year wants but get nothing in return, should I even expect it?", "post": "Just a simple question. So, we kind of live together. My girlfriend always wants me to scratch her back and so massages for her even if I'm sleepy as hell, tired etc. I have no problem with it, but I haven't gotten a massage from her for like forever now and I do them to her daily. Most I get is that she will maybe hold or scratch my head little bit when I'm napping next to her.\n\nI asked for massages but she just brushes it off, like only I should do it to her. \n\nNot sure if it's a problem, but she kind of likes to hurt me as well. She likes to wrestle, but in a hurtful to me way. She doesn't leave any marks or anything, but sometimes like to hit me. I have minimal acne as well so she likes to pop my pimples on the face and back.\n\nI try to stop her but sometimes she just does it when I'm tired as hell and can't do much/have no power.\n\nSo should I expect something pleasant from her side as well?", "summary": "I give my gf massages on a daily basis but she doesn't do anything pleasant to me, also likes to see me be physically hurt?"} {"id": "t3_4n7785", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My best friend[22F]'s brother and roommate [28M] won't stop hitting on me [22F] even though I'm a lesbian", "post": "My best friend and I have a great relationship and we spend a lot of time together during the week. We are chill people who like to hang out and watch TV, play video games, drink some wine, etc.\n\nThe problem is her brother. My friend took him in as a roommate about a year ago because of mutual economic necessity and he had always kind of made me uncomfortable with his behavior toward me but it has really escalated lately. He touches me without permission, gives me weird and long hugs every time I leave, asks me out on dates repeatedly even after I say no, corners me in conversations when we're in a group--the whole shebang. This frustration is compounded by the fact that I am gay, and he knows that I am gay, and everybody knows that I am gay. There is ZERO chance of me ever going out on a date with him.\n\nI have rejected every request for a date and reminded him that I am gay. My friend has told him to knock it off on several occasions, but he doesn't listen to her on this or a lot of other things because he doesn't really take his baby sister seriously. My friend's boyfriend also told him to knock it off, but the brother just insisted that he's being friendly with the touching, and he doesn't actually think I'm gay anyway because I've never had a girlfriend.\n\nIt's making it so I basically never want to spend time at my friend's place. I live with my very conservative parents in a very small house so my friend doesn't want to come hang out at my house because we'd essentially be hanging out with my family all night (and I don't blame her). She wants to kick out her brother for other reasons on top of this, but can't afford to right now. I'm more or less at my wit's end.", "summary": "Friend's brother won't stop hitting on me even though I am never, ever going to be interested and won't listen to anyone who tells him to stop. How can I make him back off?"} {"id": "t3_1m7gwq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[16M] with my \"crush\"[16F] we used to be best friends and we both liked each other, but then it suddenly stopped.", "post": "I know we are very young, but my main problem was that when we were both 14-15 we had been best friends and we both liked each other. After I had found out that we both had a crush each other, it got really awkward. I didn't really know how to ask her out, because I honestly was a very awkward teenager back then. \n\nI still have feelings for her for a friend of even further than that, but my main problem is I don't know how to talk to her. When we both talk to each other, its about a 30 seconds conversation in class about homework or something small like that. Whenever I always talk to her she tries to avoid eye contact too. She still laughs at my jokes and whatnot, but we simply can't talk to each other. Any help?", "summary": "I had been friends and almost further with a friend of mine, but then we stopped and I need help talking to her since I still have a bit of feelings for her. "} {"id": "t3_48jlc0", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Why tracking is beautiful", "post": "Hello beautiful souls of loseit!\nLong time lurker, finally decided to get serious about losing the last 15. I've been at 150 for three years. Years of gradual lifestyle changes have gotten me down here. I started counting calories a few weeks ago. I realized the importance of a scale and have one coming in the mail. I've just been wingin' it and have still seen results even with approximations. I overcompensate a little to make up for the lack of more accurate measurements. \nSo today I sat around all day, and munched quite a bit. No real meals...a little of this..a little of that...I felt very much like eff it-I don't have the scale yet so how accurate can I really be until then? Right now I'm laying in bed cruising Reddit, thinking about making PB (keto friendly)cookies. I'm not hungry but I'm definitely bored and already feel like I failed for the day. I'm mad at myself, sad I'll never get the body I want and overall feeling very discouraged. \n\nYou know what? I said to myself, so many people have emphasized the importance of tracking even when you have a bad day. So I got onto MFP and logged everything. I ate more packaged food/carbs today than usual which is probably why I'm feeling so full. \nAnyways, I logged everything...and I'm still 100 cals under my daily allotment. Even with whatever inaccuracy there may be without a scale, it's not nearly as awful as I thought today was. So instead of sitting in bed feeling like a fattie and making cookies to 'make me feel better' I owned up to what I ate. Now, I'm stoked and I don't want or need those cookies! \n\nIt made me realize how I use food to hurt or punish myself. I was feeling like crap about myself and was just going to eat more. How is that productive?", "summary": "tracked a \"bad day\" to realize it wasn't so bad and resisted self soothing in the form of cookies. :)"} {"id": "t3_3bugvp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26F] and my husband [26M] of 2 years (together 11 years total) are on two different wavelengths when it comes to motivation/future. Worried that love isn't all we need to make it to forever. HELP.", "post": "My first plea for Reddit's help...\n\nBackground: I have been with my husband since we were 15 years old. We've obviously made it through many hurdles together (high school grad, my undergrad degree, him being miserable at his job, two cross country moves, etc.) and I am a week away from beginning a prestigious professional program (my dream). \n\nRecently he has made comments that he doesn't feel worthy of me and that he'll never be able to give me what I need. He's working a retail job at minimum wage and we currently have zero debt, thanks to my parents, but he makes no effort to change his situation?! I helped him apply for FAFSA and school since he mentioned he's interested in business but when the time neared for sending in his transcripts, he said he wasn't ready and that he wasn't sure if he wanted to do that?? \n\nI love him more than anything but his insecurities are hurting our relationship. He's insecure about me becoming a doctor but he doesn't take/make opportunities for himself. If it were up to him to support us and our future family I have no idea how it would happen...\n\nHe says he wants to open his own business one day but he knows nothing about business and he gets defensive when I mention even just researching what it takes. Tonight he got defensive and then said \"Don't worry, it's not like it will ever happen anyway.\" This comment made my blood boil because there's no reason that he can't if he put his heart in to it. I don't feel like I care what he ends up doing just as long as it's something that he want's to do each day.\n\nI'm sorry for venting, I hope it's somewhat coherent. I don't want to lose him but this self pity is killing me while I'm working so hard.", "summary": "My husband's insecurity about my career and lack of motivation for one of his own is making me worry that love isn't enough to keep us together forever. Am I just being petty??"} {"id": "t3_t7vhb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Read some texts I really shouldn't have. I think she's cheating. I don't know what to do.", "post": "Background: I(male,27) have been dating my girlfriend(28) for 2.5 years and we have lived together for about 1.5 of those years. We have been having a little bit of problems lately but we agreed to work things out.\n\nThis morning while she was asleep I looked through her texts. I have never done this before, and never will again because I feel like a complete asshole for doing it. Basically, she has been texting another man back and forth in incredibly inappropriate ways to the point like it sounds like they may have slept together last night, or at least fooled around. She told me she was out spending time with a female friend of hers(who is a real person), but she had sent a text to that friend to cancel because she was \"doing... something... :)\".\n\nI know we have been having problems, but barely a week ago she convinced me to stick with her and try to work things out. It's probably stupid of me to feel so betrayed when we were on the verge of breaking up a week ago, but I really do love this girl with all my heart and it is tearing me apart to sit here and think about what may have happened. \n\nI feel like a deep-fried bag of fecal matter for going through her messages, and have no idea how I should/can even address this issue with her. She is currently spending time with the same \"female friend\", so I haven't seen her since I this morning. Please help, I don't think this crying thing I'm currently doing is really fixing the situation all that much.", "summary": "Looked through my GF's texts. I feel like an asshole, but found out she may have cheated on me last night. No clue what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_o58ch", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My friend recently came out, he's gay, which is cool. But he thinks I'm gay too and it's gotten violating.", "post": "Like the title says, my friend recently came out which is cool with me, whatever turns you on, turns you on. But he thinks I'm gay/bi too and that I just need help coming out of the closet. This is not the case at all, I've only ever been attracted to women, and in all truthfulness I've only ever had erections for women (obviously I'm a guy). But no matter what I say or tell him he thinks it's just me being in denial, so even if I tell him I'm straight he thinks I'm just lying to continue being in the closet. He even tried to \"prove\" I was gay by grabbing my crouch and asking to give me head saying, \"you don't know until you try it,\" which I was totally turned off by and I pushed him away and it left me feeling violated. But to him this was just more evidence that I'm gay.\n\nI will be honest, I am a little uncomfortable around gay guys just because I don't understand it so it freaks me out a little. But I wish he could just accept that I'm straight and move on. But like I said, no matter what I say convinces him and it gets annoying and frankly violating. What should I do?", "summary": "Gay friend thinks I'm also gay/bi and it's gotten to the point where it's violating and nothing I do helps him accept that I'm straight. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_rs1d7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What would an appropriate gift be for this situation?", "post": "If this is in the wrong place please tell me, I just found this site today.\n\nBackground story:\nI was driving my car and got pulled over for a non-functioning brake light. The officer asked me for my license and insurance info. I couldn't find my insurance card. He said it was no problem, and would just write a citation. Once I found proof of insurance I could go down to the courthouse and show the clerk and the ticket will be avoided. Fast forward to later that evening: I searched all my insurance records and realized I never bought insurance for the car I was driving. \n\nNext day, I call my insurance agent and bought some insurance. He sent me a proof of insurance via email and everything was good. \n\nI was off to the courthouse. Went inside and they looked at my insurance and citation and noticed that the date of the ticket was earlier than the date of insured. They said \"No big deal, we will just call your insurance and verify everything, maybe there was a discrepancy in the paperwork.\" Now my heart is beating fast, thinking, \"Great they will call him, he'll tell them I got the insurance after the citation and I'll have to pay a $370 ticket.\" They have him on speakerphone, so I can hear the conversation. They ask about my date of insurance, he asked when the ticket was written, they said the date. He says, \"Oh, Tossitdown?, he has always had up to date insurance for that car. You guys have nothing to worry about.\" They end the conversation, and the clerk tells me everything is clear and I can be about my way.\n\nI walk out of the courthouse and call my insurance agent. He tells me that I've got nothing to worry about, and that he understands things like this happen and that I just \"owe him one\". So, here comes the question:\n\nWhat would an appropriate thank you gift for my insurance agent be in this situation?", "summary": "I got a citation for driving without insurance and my insurance agent lies to the county clerk to get me out of a fine. What should I get him as a thank you?"} {"id": "t3_2tjz3i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24F] boyfriend [25M] admits to watching porn daily. I'm not sure how to deal with this.", "post": "This happened about 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend admitted to watching porn very frequently. Our sex life is great, we're really open with each other and up until recently, I thought we were both on the same page about porn (neither of us care for it). \n\nI'm most upset that he lied to me about watching it, but I'm also upset that he doesn't come to me when he's feeling horny. He said he doesn't want to be disrespectful by asking me for pics, but I love to dress up all sexy for him. \n\nNow I'm usually a pretty confident gal (despite knowing that I'm not the most attractive person), but this has absolutely destroyed me. I don't want to get naked in front of him now, as I'm afraid he'll be thinking of someone else (which was never a problem for me before). I feel like I'm just the girl he has sex with, and not the girl of his wildest, sexy dreams. If he really thought I was that attractive (which he only says when I ask if he thinks so), then why turn to porn?? \n\nI told him how he feels and he got mad at me. I don't want to be the kind of girlfriend to tell him what to do, and I never have \n\nHelp me feel okay with myself", "summary": "Boyfriend watches lots of porn, I feel worthless (as far as looks go), help me be okay with this! :'("} {"id": "t3_4nufou", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [15 F] with my crush [15 M], am I oblivious or friendzoned?", "post": "Just to start off, yes I know I'm only 15, this probably sounds ridiculous. But it's taking up SO much of my mind so... I gotta get it out somehow.\n\nOk, so, there's this guy that I happen to have a huge crush on. Like... huge. My heart hurts for him tbh. We met at school in HPE class during a dance unit, so we've been thrown in pretty close to each other from the start. Slow dancing and all that. Boy, if I could do that again.\n\nWe've skype called and played various games on steam a few times and we talk on facebook messenger quite a bit, and we make each other laugh heaps, there's never any awkwardness between us. We enjoy each other's company! Yay.\n\nNow, here's the real bit: last night, him and I were on a video call late at night, just chilling. It lasted for about three hours but somewhere in the first half hour, his shirt came off. Imagine my surprise/trying to cover myself blushing like an idiot. And he started doing stuff like he got out a sword that he owns (weeeeeeb) and was doing some stereotypical anime poses and stuff, shirtless, and I'm just trying to conceal my face. He played me some stuff on guitar (to which I joked about him serenading me) and just went with it. There was, as per true teenager brain-ness, some good ol' sexual innuendo thrown in there.\n\nNow, I have no idea what the hell any of this means. Am I oblivious, is there a tiny possibly that he likes me? Or am I just one of the lads, eternally friendzoned :^( I have no idea what taking your shirt off in front of a chick even means. There was so no reason for it. He was open and relaxed and warm and... yeah. I could go on for years.\n\nWhat do you think reddit? Should I make a move on this boy?", "summary": "Boy and I video called and he was shirtless and everything was warm and, dare I say, sorta.. romantic. To me :') To make a move or to not make a move?"} {"id": "t3_3lrlbr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] with my GF [21F] (Dating 1 year, 1 month into a temporary 4 month LDR). We talk every day, and our calls go 99% well but about half of them turn very sour in the last minute.", "post": "I don't really know how to fully explain this, but ever since we started our LDR (I had to go for school for one last semester in another city), she has changed slightly. We always have good conversations throughout the day, greet with good morning/good night texts, and remain as sexual as possible with skype sex. But around half of our calls will end with her giving me the \"yeah, whatever, I'll talk to you another day\". This could be in the last minute of an otherwise great and loving hour-long call. It's really beginning to piss me off. I literally have no idea what I could be doing and am convincing myself it's some manipulation tactic for some weird reason. I've tried talking to her about it and she just give me more \"Yeah whatever\". I've stressed that we have to keep open about any issues we have because our relationship is pretty verbal (as with all LDRs). I'm getting increasingly frustrated at this and she's doing nothing to change it, it just seems to be getting more frequent. \n\nAny suggestions on getting this to stop? I think she gave me the \"yeah, whatever\" once during our entire year together and it was when I actually screwed up and I knew it. This time I have no idea what I'm doing. She doesn't seem open to talking at all.", "summary": "in a temporary LDR, half our calls end with some psuedo silent treatment for unexplained reasons. Don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_1b8bgw", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[18/m] So I try to get all my friends hooked up with girls they like. My best friend hooked up with the ONE girl I wanted. Where do I go now?", "post": "I'd say I'm fairly passive but I know when to look for signs and act on them. I feel like sometimes I can read a girls minds, and I've been able to get my extremely awkward friends out of their shell and into the arms of others. I had one rule, a girl that I liked (my pal knew this) and decided he wanted her. Should I still be friends? Bros before hoes? Should I be mad at the girl? She knew how I felt about her, and knew we've been buddies **forever.** So how do I move on? Do I keep pursuing, or find a new girl. I feel really lost, and some what empty. For some reason it's incredibly hard for me to create a spark with a girl. No one seems to be compatible.", "summary": "I'm generally open minded, I've passed up opportunities for my friends but I've never actually kissed a girl... My friend takes the one girl I feel like I can connect with. "} {"id": "t3_1xmmxf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 F] with my roommate [31 M] of six months, language and cultural barriers are preventing effective communication and as a result, the situation is escalating", "post": "I am having ordinary roommate issues (e.g., dishes, cleaning). I am the first to admit that I got complacent about pulling my weight around the house and that this issue needed to be addressed.\n\nThe problem is we have a complete inability to communicate effectively. I am an American and he is French, and we are living in California and attending our local university. \n\nWhen we discuss an issue, I feel like I am being talked down upon. I dislike that he interrupts, raises his voice, uses *you* statements to place blame, etc. It feels like an unsafe space for me to speak my mind. Every time I request that he stop speaking to me with condoscending tone, he insists that he is absolutely not. \n\n**I meant to ask this as a question in my title: Is this just an example of a language and cultural barrier?**\n\nFeeling that it was an unsafe space, I avoided interacting with him for a few days in order to give him time to calm down. Unfortunately this escalated the situation because now he is personally insulting me, for example, calling me schizophrenic because I remind him of his schizophrenic ex-girlfriend. \n\nThanks so much for any advice/insight you can provide...", "summary": "American living with French person, why do I feel like I am being shit on every time we talk, and now he is insulting me."} {"id": "t3_3cenzt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] and my ex girlfriend [20 F] dated throughout highschool and I broke it off before college. One year later I miss her more than anything.", "post": "Like the title said, my high school girlfriend and I broke it off before college. We were going to colleges 2 hours apart. She took it really rough. However, we couldn't bring ourselves to cut off communication, so we still talked over text. \n\nI go to a big state school, and over the course of the year I have trouble making friends, and have even less luck on the dating scene. She meanwhile goes to a small Christian school and makes tons of friends. \n\nShe copes with us breaking up by trying new things and making new friends, effectively distracting her.\n\nI focus on my studies.\n\nAround February I tell her I'd like to get back together, but she says she's\"keeping her options open.\"\n\nFor the rest of the school year I'm on her hook, talking to her every day. \n\nSummer roles around and things between us begin to heat up. We make out, we go on long walks. I realize things were moving too fast, but I was just happy I was with her. She says she would be open to going on a date. \n\nA week later I ask her on a date, but she says she wants to stay friends. I ask her why and she says she doesn't have time for a relationship between her four jobs. \n\nAnother week passes and she's with another guy. According to her, \"her feeling changed.\" And \"she looks for other things in guys.\" She also wants to stay friends, but it's not the same. \n\nWe used to have long conversations, and poke fun at each other, now she's distant and condescending in our chats.\n\nNow I feel heartbroken. I can't eat and can't stop thinking of her. I realize this is all my fault, and that makes me feel even shittier. I guess this is just me getting what I deserve. I just want to move on now. But I still love her.\n\nI should also add that my friends from High school have very different interests now, and are pretty distant too. I feel like I have no one to turn to.", "summary": "Broke up with HS girlfriend. A year later she finds a new guy and I still love her. How do I move on?"} {"id": "t3_1wkor4", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "How can I stop being so damn awkward?!!!", "post": "I really like this guy...I hardly know him but we both work at a school. \nI don't even know if he's single, but I always try to ask about his weekend or if he has any fun plans...he never mentions a girlfriend, but even so he could still be taken. \n\nWhen we first met, I instantly liked him just because of the way he carried himself and how kind and caring he seemed. Genuine people like that in my life are really hard to find. I also hear things about him from students, and he's in the school newspaper a bunch so I'm always reading these amazing things about him. However, I could go weeks and not see him, just due to the nature of our jobs. But when I do see him, I feel so awkward. I blow it. I ask questions about things pertaining to the school or whatever, but I can't muster up the courage to ask him to hang out outside of school or anything...today was the worst....I ran into him but he was across the hall and we waved and he asked how it was going and I very shyly muttered...\"uh its okay...\" and then he walked by and I felt like I should have said more and DIDN'T. \n\nThen I ran into him again and I realized he was about to say something but I in my awkwardness basically opened my mouth the same time he did and I stalled, and then he smiled and let me say what I was going to say and I just came up with some BS thing to ask him about something kind of work related...but he was really friendly about it and we talked for a good minute, but ugh I really wondered what HE was going to say had I not basically cut him off. \n\nHow can I stop being so awkward every time I see him?!", "summary": "I'm really awkward around a guy I like-I hardly see him but when I do I feel like I blow it with my awkwardness. How can I stop being so awkward?!"} {"id": "t3_2vdxkj", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Friendship Question: Me (21/M) having trouble with new friend (28/M)", "post": "I am currently on exchange in North America from Europe (the details are not important), and living in a dorm near the university. In one of my classes, there is this guy who I believed would be a cool acquaintance (similar interests), and found out he lived in the same dorm as me when I met him by accident in the hallways. We got along quite well and talked a lot, despite some large differences in personality.\n\nHowever, after these first couple of weeks, I am starting to get really unnerved. He is very loud, talks a lot about himself, does not really take the emotional temperature of a room before blurting something out, is terrible at listening in most situations, is pretty male chauvinistic (we basically cannot encounter a single girl without it being followed by a detailed account of how attractive he finds her), makes the same jokes again and again, even ones I have tried to hint at I don't think are funny, just obnoxious.\n\nDon't get me wrong, he is in many ways a cool guy, and I mostly enjoy his company, but already, the bad detracts so much from the good. He tends to drop by my room every day unannounced and loudly proclaim his arrival. I am a pretty low-key individual and need time alone now and then, and even minor things like this can really stress me out and throw me off when it happens so often. He is a pretty boisterous person, and has flung himself pretty much into my daily schedule before I even noticed. Like I said, I enjoy his company, but not in excess - and excess seems to come completely unprovoked.\n\nI am currently just extremely worried whether or not this will escalate and that I will end up having a shitty semester because of the enormous energy this relationship would require, and because it might block off other potential friendships by the time and effort required. I honestly do not particularly like hanging out with him when there are others around, as he tends to dominate the conversation from the start and presume to speak on my behalf in many areas. I can't deal with that. I don't wanna alienate the guy. Bottom line is, I like him, but not to the extent he seems to presume already.", "summary": "Is on exchange, meets guy in dorm, he seems good guy, finds out many aspects of his personality stress me out or make me uncomfortable, still want to hang, but not to the extent he wants."} {"id": "t3_3bgzkc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21M] love interest [22F] has found a new crush, should I give up on her right away or what do I do?", "post": "Known her for 5 months, crushed on her for 4 months and revealed mutual feelings for each other after 2, but couldn't commit because of our situations. The last 2 months, in my eyes, we've come quite far and I thought we were finally getting into a decent spot where a relationship could actually start.\n\nObviously she sees it differently because she has a new \"crush\". She started acting weird, using her Whatsapp at a certain point in the middle of the night every night and a few others things that I picked up on - eventually I asked her if she had a thing for a certain guy I knew about and she told me yeah. He's abroad at the moment but they've been talking for 3 weeks and she feels \"swept off her feet\".\n\nHer and I are still in constant contact (texting) and we're still super friendly + quite flirty - things haven't really changed, except I notice she's distant sometimes (obviously when she's talking to this guy).\n\nNaturally I'm hurt because it came as a shock. She hadn't bothered to tell me she no longer saw me as a potential partner (if she no longer does that is) so I've been sat here head over heels for her while she has her eye on someone else.\n\nDo I drop things right now, or should I be playing it cool and hoping she sees a future with me? As I said things haven't changed between us for the most part, and I know for sure nothing has happened between her and this guy (nor can they for quite a while). Haven't really been in this situation before so I'm not sure what to do.", "summary": "My love interest has evidently lost a lot of interest in me and has taken a liking to a new guy. Do I cut \"us\" off right away or play it out and see what happens?"} {"id": "t3_p4tpc", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Can credit card companies do anything to me if I don't pay?", "post": "First of all, I'm not looking for a moral lesson here. I just want some information to base some decisions of off.\n\nI have way more credit card debt than I can afford to pay at the moment (33,000). This amounts to about R$ 1.389,98 (800 USD) a month.\n\nI have tried numerous times to call and lower rates, etc etc etc. They just won't have it.\n\nThe more I pay, the more they lower my limits, so my utilization is basically fucked (98%)\n\nIt'll take me about 5 years to pay all this off. and in the meantime, my credit score is shit because of the high utilization (never missed a payment, no delinquent accounts yet, etc etc. Just high revolving rate with low income and high utilization.\n\nIf I stop paying now and let it go to collections, let's say I settle for 30% of the amount at 1/4 of the interest or half the interest. How long will that stay in my credit report?\n\nReason I ask is that this will take 5 years of extreme work for me to pay off, whereas a collection deal will be much faster, and cheaper monthly for me. If it'll take 10 years to clear, that's fine.\n\nWhat can they do to me if I don't pay and let it go to collections? \n\nCan I just let it go to collections and then settle or can they dock my paychecks or anything like that?\n\nI'm not too worried about assets because since I don't currently live in the US I have no assets at all there. I do plan to return the US and I don't want that to be destroyed by some court ruling that they can take 30% of my paycheck or something like that", "summary": "I have a lot of CC Debt, can the CC companies take my money or are they SOL and have to settle with me?"} {"id": "t3_issz0", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Is this pain normal and what should I do?", "post": "I had old running shoes and was still running, so I went and got a good pair (had my foot measured and checked to make sure I got the right ones for me). Since then, I have ran two time, my knee pain went away, however I am still getting a pain in my shin. It is in the front of my shin, and only hurts for the first quarter mile then it is gone and I enjoy the run. Is this normal? Is it dangerous for me to keep running like this?? I hope not b/c I am so happy to be running again. I do not have any pain walking, before or after the run either.", "summary": "shin pain in first .25 mile of run, then nothing.... is this dangerous? what do I do to make it stop?"} {"id": "t3_24hjwo", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "First time cat owner; question about shedding", "post": "About six months ago I adopted a cat. He's about 7 years old and came from a good home, so he was always well taken care of. I know cats are furry little creatures, but I'm worried that even though it is springtime, he might be shedding too much. My girlfriend commented that his coat doesn't look very healthy, and I agree it does look a bit \"dry,\" kind of like when a girl grabs a handfull of her hair and you can see the split ends and such at the tip. Yesterday I bought him 9 Lives food for healthy coats and I'm hoping that will help, despite having heard some negative things about dry food. That's all he has ever eaten, and I know nothing about wet food except that it's pricey. Anyhow, the biggest issue is that though his coat looks full, my apartment is coated with enough fur to make a second cat and I'm concerned this isn't normal. He likes to sleep by me at night and the spot beside my pillow is covered in fur, as is everything else. I do brush him every day (most days) and upon cleaning the brush I usually get about maybe a golf ball sized amount of hair off it. Sorry for writing such a long story to ask such a basic question but I figured the more information I provide you pet experts the better!", "summary": "what is the normal amount of shedding for a cat in the springtime, how can I know if my fluffers is shedding too much, and what can I do to make his coat healthier? "} {"id": "t3_4ald1l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[31 M] Found out my gf [30 F] has had an emotional affair for at least a year. I am no saint. What do i do?", "post": "I want to keep this brief. My g/f and I have been dating for on/off 5 years. The theme in our relationship is she wants to get married and I feel not ready. Recently we have come to an agreement of a long engagement that seems fair. I want to say that 90% of the time we are fine. \n\nSex lately has been very infrequent and it's more my fault then hers. I've been depressed about a lot but she's been nagging and it's not attractive. \n\nI found on her FB messages that are flirty between her and this scummy guy i know of through friends. Seems she's sent pics and they've met up twice. Once while I was burying my grandfather. \n\nI myself am no saint. This is important to note. I've been guilty of the same/worse. I honestly believe our generation and beyond has to accept a certain amount of infidelity due to technology making everyone so perfect and available. Throw your stones but this is just so you know I'm not making myself out to be a victim here. \n\n I know I'm a hypocrite but it still hurts. Not sure if I should stay or go. \n\nI'm throwing myself at the mercy of Reddit here. What should I do?\n\nConfront her? Confront her and come clean myself? Accept that we're both shitty? Is there any way this can work? Really looking to just talk this out with anyone who will listen.", "summary": "Caught my g/f cheating on her fb messages. I have also done this but haven't been caught. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_497g3s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] with my parents [50'sM+F] want me to go to America (I'm from Australia) with them to visit my sister [24F] and her husband [25M]. I have depression, and it's difficult to do simple tasks, let alone fly across the world. How do I tell them?", "post": "My sister has lived in America for about 5 years and it has been quite a long time since I have seen her. My parents want me to go over with them so we can all become a family once again. I however, do not feel mentally stable enough to want to travel.\n\nI can't look at myself in the mirror without having a panic attack and hating myself more so then what I do now. I also have emetophobia, (fear of vomiting) which will peak my anxiety being on a closed plane with other people, eating different foods, not being in a safe place in my room etc. Among with some other personal problems within myself. \n\nMy family does not understand why I would not want to go, and I don't know how to tell them. Keep in mind, it is not that easy to just come out and say ''I feel too depressed to go, I am sorry''. This is a very difficult subject to bring up to anyone, let alone my family. I don't know where I can get the courage to explain this to them. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.", "summary": "My parents want me to visit my sister in America. I feel I am not mentally stable enough to visit her, due to depression, emetophobia. How do i tell my family this?"} {"id": "t3_17myql", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "He's lost motivation and I can't help - I only make it worse", "post": "My partner has lost motivation for his work. He works as a contracting designer and he just has absolutely no motivation to get stuff done. So bad that 2 months in a row his main contractor (and only - almost like en employer) has just flat out refused to pay him on grounds of doing no work.\n\nThis is even to the point where he is delusional about how much work he does. For instance, the other day he was working in my office and he spent about 2 hours doing work and spent the rest of the day on reddit, insisting that he had done enough work and would have enough time to complete the project the next day.\n\nAdditionally, he had a project on and I asked him how many hours he had spent, and he was insistant that it had been a full week of work, but because we work in the same office some days (and had been for the whole week) I knew he had spend a maximum of 1 day and a half on it - in small parts each day.\n\nHe seems to be depressed and over his work, but also a little delusional about how much he actually does. He insists on working from home most days which I worry contributes to this lack of work with nobody monitoring him.\n\nEverytime I mention something I am the bad guy, and \"don't know how hard he works\". He often turns it against me by saying I only bring it up when I'm drunk and never listen to him - although I feel I bring it up a lot more often when I'm sober, but for sure it pisses him off. (I drink maybe twice a fornight - but that's when he seems to bring up how unfair I am...)\n\nI'm worried for 2 reasons - \na) his wellbeing, could he be depressed?\nb) I am having to support us both on my own wages when he doesn't do enough to get his weekly pay from his main contractor.\n\nHow do I deal with this? He won't listen to me!!!", "summary": "Fiance/boyfriend is a freelancer and is recently completely unmotivated. Not sure what to do to help him keep momentum in his work to make sure he gets paid (so we can both get by)"} {"id": "t3_1g7sr1", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Think before you drive like a douche", "post": "This was back when I was in my early 20s.\n\nWhile driving to the mall with a carload of friends, I was making a right turn to go into the main entrance of the mall. Suddenly I have to slam on the brakes because a lady from oncoming traffic makes a sharp left turn cutting me off. I was shaking my head in stunned disbelief as she then proceeds to have the gall to flip me off. \n\nI'm guessing she's used to doing this kind of thing in traffic and then driving off. Pulling this kind of stunt while going into a parking lot though, is full on stupid. \n\nSo instead of parking by the main entrance, I decide to just follow her car. I can tell she's getting nervous because after about a minute she has passed by several empty parking spots and started looking in her rearview mirror a lot. She eventually turns off to park in the upper parkade where nobody parks unless it's the holidays and it's packed.\n\nWhen she notices l'm still following her, she speeds up to get a little distance between us, slams it into a parking spot. Then she gets out with her arms in the air, while ducking her head repeatedly and starts running towards the mall doors yelling \"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!\" Lol.", "summary": "Douche cuts me off pulling into a parking lot, I follow them in my car until they panic and run away screaming."} {"id": "t3_1qy2mg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28/F] was left by my boyfriend [ 31/M] after 8.5 intense months, now he's 5,000 miles away and nothing feels real.", "post": "We were together almost 9 months. He was foreign and ultimately could not find himself here, in the USA. He went back to Turkey on Saturday, leaving me here alone. I wanted to marry him and now I don't think I will ever see his face again. We never missed a day of communication, now I haven't spoken with him since just before his plane departed.\n\n I can't believe he is gone. It doesn't feel real. I don't know how to grieve this loss. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I feel like I can't even breathe. I just want someone to talk to who is going through the same thing for support. I don't know what else to do to help myself. PM me if you want to talk this through together.", "summary": "Boyfriend left, is 5,000 miles away, I'm in shock and want someone to talk to. Please help me?"} {"id": "t3_3np2es", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my GF [20 F] GF wont make it facebook official", "post": "We've been together for 4 months. I know this is really trivial and everyone knows I'm with my GF. I would just like to make it facebook official because I want to show the world my amazing GF. I want everyone to know. She says she doesn't want to do it because of privacy and I respect that. It also makes me think she wants to like hide me. I tried discussing it with her. It just makes me think because this day and age of social media when people don't do this its because they are ashamed of being with you or they have someone else.", "summary": "GF doesnt want to make it facebook official. Am I just being paranoid or am I being a douche for wanting this?"} {"id": "t3_33odr1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (24M) had sex with 4 ex-girlfriends, and I (22F) as a virgin can't get over it.", "post": "Hi guys, I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year, and I've always known he wasn't a virgin and kind of tolerated this. However, I recently found out that he had sex with four girls total, two of them were long term relationships, and two were short term relationships. I don't know exactly why, but this hurts me a lot. I feel like he shared an extremely intimate thing with four other people, whereas he's the only person I've ever shared this with (we had sex a few months into the relationship). I guess I feel like it's not fair? I don't know. I know this isn't really rational, but I can't stop myself from being so sad about it.\n\nHow do I get over this?", "summary": "I was a virgin until my current boyfriend, but he's had sex with four ex-girlfriends. I'm not sure why I'm so sad about it. Help."} {"id": "t3_4g9wh1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I found out my [25F] gamer BF [24M] has a crush on a female guildie", "post": "In my previous post \n\nI talked about how I was becoming jealous of my [25F] bf's relationship with one of his female guildies.\n\nI spoke to him calmly about it this morning and he told me that nothing was going on between the two of them. All was fine, we continued on with our day.\n\nAround 1PM, I ask my boyfriend to spend time together. At this point, I started to feel very irritated. At this point, he's been talking to this girl on-and-off since 5AM this morning! Doubly irritated when I see him talking on Skype with her...I thought they were just talking in the game together! That was until I see him inspecting a picture of a blonde girl on his screen. I got very upset and left the room.\n\nWhen he came to the room, my anger took a hold of me and I told him that I had a feeling he had a crush on this woman. He was silent. I kept asking and he basically admits everything is true. He said he's very sorry and wants to make things right. I feel really crushed right now. Honestly, I feel like some boundaries have been crossed. I don't even know what else has gone on between these two, or if anything. I feel angry as hell. Upset.", "summary": "I discovered my BF has a crush on this Australian blonde girl online, even though he said she's like a \"sister\" to him."} {"id": "t3_1j8eho", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [F20] in love with my best friend [M19] of 6 years, he sees me as a sister but I can barely hide my feelings around him.", "post": "So to not sound so pathetic, let me explain more. We were best friends in high school, and even then I had some feelings toward him but was too much of a coward to say anything. He would date other girls and I was fine with it, but I would voice my opinion when he was dating the craziest girl I had ever met. I never participated in the usual high school drama so I always tried to be the voice of reason when he would be going through a bad break up or was having relationship problems. \n\nWe've talked about it before, and that's how I know how he feels, but its causing me to compare every guy I talk to, too him. We're so close and have our billion inside jokes and I've yet to meet anyone I have that connection with besides him. He's admitted that he feels most like himself around me, but I don't understand why that means he doesn't want to be with me.\n\n I'm still at home, working full time and making my way while he is off at college. I keep telling myself to just wait for him to come around after he graduates or starts his own career. But should I still make an effort in the dating scene even though I have these feelings, knowing it will be hard to like anyone as much as I do him? I'm so confused Reddit, please help!", "summary": "I'm [F20] in love with my best friend [M19]. He's put me in the friendzone, I can't date others without comparing them to him."} {"id": "t3_1m6kmi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me(19F) just started college and feel guilty about wanting/receiving attention from guys because I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (19M)", "post": "I'm a 19 year old girl and I started college a few weeks ago. I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, who is also 19, for almost 2 years. (We went to same high school but he's a grade ahead of me, and goes to a different college)\nHe's my first real boyfriend (aside from little 1 week flings in middle school and stuff) and I really do love him a lot and value our relationship. We have normal relationship squabbles but we generally get along great, I get to see him on school breaks and summers and we skype a lot. The thought of breaking up/losing him is so scary I can't even fully comprehend it.\n\nAnyway, as I said, I just entered college, and I've already made a few good friends, and they're all single and kinda boy crazy. We mostly just hang around talk about guys at our college/flirt. I've never been an especially flirty person but I've gotten more male attention in the past 3 weeks or so than I've had in years, and it makes me feel good. I've mentioned that I'm in a relationship and its on facebook and everything, but I still feel really weird about it. I feel guilty for flirting and wanting attention, and I know its bad, and if my boyfriend was doing the same thing as me, I'd be really upset, so I know I'm being a hypocrite. I don't think I would ever \"cheat\" on him, but even just doing this kind of stuff makes me feel like I'm being a little unfaithful, and its stuff I never would have imagined doing like a month ago.\nI know this is why people say going into college with a relationship is bad but I really love him and even though our LDR is difficult, its worth it to me. I guess I just want to know if other people have these feelings? I'm afraid I'm getting onto a slippery slope with this.\n\n(xposted to r/longdistance)", "summary": "freshman in college already in a LDR. getting a lot of attention from guys and feel guilty about reciprocating but can't seem to stop."} {"id": "t3_2jnlp1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is He [22 M] avoiding me [19 F]? I need advice.", "post": "Here is my last post about [this](\n\nSince the last post, everything has been okay between us. It's still the same, we are still figuring stuff out and spend time together and we still haven't gotten to a fight which is really great because we used to do that a lot before. \n\nBut there is one thing that is kind of bothering me but it might just be me overreacting or just him trying to test me to see if I'll freak out, since the last day we've been together he has been going out with his friends a lot. \n\nHe wakes up, talks to me for 10 minutes and then heads out he then comes home really late and barely speaks with me and goes to bed. Now repeat this for like 3 days straight. \n\nI don't actually mind him going out with his friends, don't get me wrong. And he is still talking to me very sweetly but I just have this feeling that he is avoiding talking to me? I don't know... \n\nOther than that, we are pretty stable at the moment. He was even the one that setted our last date instead of me which made me feel really wanted by him and okay. \n\nAnd I don't want to say anything to him because he'll think that I'm just trying to find every reason to pick fights with him (something I used to do in the past but I am trying to correct myself on that matter).", "summary": "I think he is avoiding me because he is always going out with his friends but he still talks very sweetly with me and isn't acting weird nor anything rather than that. Am I overreacting?"} {"id": "t3_1pvb9q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[M23/F25]Generic Unclear Relationship Advice Needed", "post": "I'm not very experienced with relationships and only had 1 girlfriend before so I'm looking for some advice here...\n\nI met the girl around half a year ago and I was not initially romantically attracted to her and was perfectly happy just being friends with her. \n\nHowever, a few months after that, we started doing more things together, such as watching movies, having supper and talking a lot more... \n\nShortly after that shift, I started getting interested in her as potentially more than a friend and have been somewhat flirty with her but I am unsure if she feels the same way as I do about her. \n\nI'm kinda confused about how to proceed here as revealing my feelings towards her and possibly getting rebuffed could make things very awkward and end our friendship which would make me very sad. My feelings towards her are not extremely strong but I feel like being more than friends with her could be interesting...\n\nAnyone have any advice?", "summary": "Boy befriends Girl, Boy now has a crush on Girl but doesn't want to potentially lose friendship if she don't like Boy, what Boy do?"} {"id": "t3_r7snt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what's the WORST thing that's happened to your brother or sister (if you're an only child, neighbor or something)?", "post": "I'll start. It happened many years ago, on a cruise ship. I was around 8 or 9, and I was just testing out my new independent powers - my parents let my brother and I roam the entire ship, as long as we were with my slightly older (12-14) cousins. We whoooped and hollered through the decks, pressing elevator buttons, just being little obnoxious tween kids. On an elevator ride up, there's something missing that tugs at my mind.... Suddenly, I realize my brother disappeared completely. We had never bothered to do a head-count; we were too ignorant and foolish. So for over 4 hours, my cousins and I split up, shouting his name for the entire ship to listen to. The captain even made an announcement over the PA and did personal rounds himself, looking for my lost brother. He couldn't have been older than 6. By now, we're all hyperventilating, I'm so scared I crapped my pants, and we're exhausted from sprinting down endless hallways. Finally, he shows up - ice cream in hand, and in the care of an elderly couple that found him wandering. By now, it's well past 6 hours. He had been wandering, and the elderly couple saw him and took him with him because he \"looked lonely.\" I was happy, but from that day on (and still today) I can't go out without telling my mommy and daddy first.", "summary": "brother lost in cruise ship, whole ship went to find him, he's safe and sound with elderly couple. Agh."} {"id": "t3_2aflfl", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "retail revenge", "post": "so I work at a semi-high class department store where i deal with mens fashion so i help customers pick out shirts, pants, suits etc.\n\nmost of our shirts are in packages so as an unwritten rule we inform the customers that we have a trial shirt rack which they can try on the brand of shirt they wish to buy because they all have the same cut.\n\nOnce in a while we have customers come in and want to try on a shirt but we don't have their size on the trial rack so we (the team members) open the shirts up for the customer. The customer that i served a few hours ago had to have a shirt open (size 46cm neck) for him which I did happily for him.\n\nSo he went off and tried on the shirt and everything and it was the right fit. He comes to the counter and lo and behold is carrying another packaged size 46. Where is the other 46 that i had opened for him? I found it lying in the changing room.\n\nThis customer wanted a band new packaged shirt instead of the one he tried on. For one this is not very hygienic so i quickly plotted my revenge. He decided that he still wanted to do more shopping so i left him to his own devices and while he was not looking, i repackaged the shirt he tried on and returned the brand new one back to the racks. The kicker...\n\nI repacked his shirt upside down in the package. He didn't know the difference. Take that", "summary": "Charlie the unicorn stole my game of risk and had to fly my mini to the dark side of the moon to get it back."} {"id": "t3_19ry87", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Boyfriend won't tell me what's making him sad, and shuts down and shuts me out. What do I do?", "post": "26m 21f Relationship 9 months. \n\nWe've recently had a few problems where I'm feeling scared because I need to sort out a visa to stay in the country and work out what I'm going to do for money once I graduate. \n\nI also spoke to him how I'm feeling unsure. Our relationship is a lot about doing things on his terms. Sometimes he thinks he's compromising, but his idea of compromise is still getting the best deal for him. I make sacrifices for him, and he doesn't make sacrifices for me.\n\nThe problem is that if I try to talk to him about anything, it is instantly about *him* and how I'm accusing him and I tread so carefully, and yet I can't really say how I feel. \n\nToday he just says he's sad, and said it's because of what I said, and refuses to talk about it, or cuddle, or kiss me or touch me. \n\nI think he might be depressed in general, but I just don't know what to do?", "summary": "Boyfriend shuts down all physical and emotional contact and becomes unreasonable and won't communicate when he's \"sad\", and I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_1shno8", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Don't know how to clean up after yourself? Well your toothbrush sure knows how.", "post": "I'll try to keep this short and sweet. As a freshman in college I have a roommate in a small dorm room with one sink. My roommate get alone well any I have no complaints about him as a person, but one thing he does does piss me off. He likes to spit nice huge loogies full of mucus into the sink and just leave it there. That's right, just leave it there. He doesn't run the water to clean the spit down the drain. \n\nAlso, I don't know if he doesn't know how to put toothpaste on a toothbrush, or if he holds the toothpaste 2 feet above the toothbrush and try to drop the toothpaste on the toothbrush like a bomber dropping bombs at ground targets, but I swear about half of the toothpaste ends up unused and stuck to the sink. That's right, just big clumps of toothpaste stuck on the sink that he (you guessed it) doesn't rinse down the sink. Not only that, but when he spits out the toothpaste in the sink, he also doesn't rinse that down, or it ends up on the faucet or around the sink. So yeah, we consistently have a dirty, disgusting sink filled with mucus and toothpaste and his facial hair (which ends up everywhere, all over the sink and our room). \n\nSo, to combat this, when he's not in the room, I use **the end of the toothbrush that he puts in his mouth** to scrub the sink clean. He'll never suspect a thing, and I get a clean sink every now and then without having to use my hands to clean it.", "summary": "Don't know how to/refuse to clean a sink? That's fine, I'll clean it. With that thing you stick in your mouth."} {"id": "t3_ip1f2", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Early reading software recommendations?", "post": "I'm looking for recommendations for pre-school level software to help teach my 3 y/o to read.\n\nMy daughter is 3 and has had a solid grasp on the alphabet and sounds for quite a while now (my wife is a stay-at-home mom, so she's worked with her on toddler/pre-school skills quite a bit). She can sound out short, two to three letter words, but only a couple of easy ones (frankly, she probably just has them memorized from story time). She told my wife and I the other day that she was sad because she didn't know how to read words. We reassured her and told her that she is doing a great job and that it takes a very long time to learn how to read all of the words, but promised to start helping her more than we do. Daughter usually gets some computer time each day, mostly on pbskids.org or sesamestreet.org. While those resources are entertaining and can certainly help with things like letter recognition and such, they aren't exactly geared at progression of teaching how to read.\n\nHave any of you tried something you liked or hated? I've done some googling, but options like Reader-Rabbit seem really out of date and get bad reviews for not running well (or at all) on modern computers. I also have my doubts about \"Baby Can Read,\" as I've read some reviews suggesting that it emphasizes memorization and can actually slow down true reading skills (is this true?). This obviously wouldn't be a replacement for reading time or actual one-on-one teaching and playing, but I'd like to make her 30 min. of computer time each day more helpful, since she seems to really want to learn how to read. What do you say /r/parenting?", "summary": "My 3 year-old asked us to help her learn to read, so I'm looking for some recommendations for software to help us teach her. Thanks!"} {"id": "t3_1bpc4k", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Need help with a friend", "post": "there is this girl who is one of my best friends. We are both 17. Lately she had been hanging out only with her other good friend and giving me the cold shoulder. I got to talking with her about how I felt with the situation and she broke down crying. She said she didn't mean to shut me out but it was how she copes with her problems. She also shut out her other good friend she hung out with as well. Her father died when she was younger, and her mother abused her as a child and is not in the picture today. She lives with her grandparents who are in their late eighties and early nineties. She broke down saying that she is having trouble with financial issues planning for college, and since her grandparents do not have much longer, she will basically come out of high school alone in the world and she is scared to death. Her brother smokes pot and is in and out of legal trouble so he isn't much help. Her only other family lives in Hawaii 4,000 miles away and they have their own problems. I felt kind of like a jerk saying it is going to be OK when I live in a sheltered life with two loving parents and a sister who goes to college twenty minutes away. I want to help, but I just don't know what to do.", "summary": "17 year old best friend is leaving high school going into the world alone with no family and is scared to death. Want to help but I dont know how."} {"id": "t3_3duqpt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf doesn't show affection anymore... Help!", "post": "Im a male. We are both 20 years old. I been dating my gf for almost 4 months now but she stop being affectionate after 2 months. I don't understand why ? It makes me feel not wanted. She says she loves me and she feels no need to tell me she loves me. She doesn't hug me, kiss me, or say she loves me like before no more. I told her it bothers me but she just says Im being dramatic. I seriously don't think Im being dramatic. If she really loves me why cant she just simply show it. Im always sweet and nice to her no matter what.\n\n I need help. What can I do ? What should I do ? For more info ask me questions.", "summary": "! My gf doesn't show affection anymore. That doesn't help me coupe with the fact that she says she actually loves me. So what are possible things I should keep in mind"} {"id": "t3_1vvrg8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "If you had a mr. Meeseeks, from the show Rick and Morty, what would you tell it to do?", "post": "For those who don't know in the show, in an episode of Rick and Morty the family is given a box with a button. when you press the button a blue man with a high voice named mr. Meeseeks appears and will do whatever you tell him to do and then disappears once its done. they can press the button for multiple meeseeks but each can only do one thing. they are not gods and are more or less limited to human abilities. but here is the catch they cannot die until their given task is completed. Existence for a meeseeks is pain, and therefor a meeseeks will stop at nothing in pursuit of its given goal so it can finally die.", "summary": "mr. meeksees is a guy who will do whatever you tell him and then he will disappear. he isn't a god and cant preform magic. but he will never rest until your request is fulfilled."} {"id": "t3_2at45x", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(25/f) 4 year relationship, with my fiance (24/m) need some serious help", "post": "so, i have been in this relationship for 4 years, unexpectedly i got pregnant, and we have children 3 years ago. I thought that we had been doing pretty well, we definitely have had our fair share of pretty bad arguments, i would find him talking to girls on facebook or something.\n\n well a few weeks ago, i went through his phone, i knew i shouldnt have but i knew something was up. i found he had been texting this girl that we work with, and was trying to meet up with her by saying he was going somewhere with someone else, and she would be there too, well i confronted him about it, he just got mad at the fact i went through his phone and made it seem he didnt do anything wrong. \n\nWell today he was in such a bad mood and acting different, he wouldnt tell me why he was upset. Well he left email up. i saw email from her. Evidently he was going to break up with me and try to be in a relationship with this girl, who is also in a relationship. (i tried to be friends with her when she started working with us but then i heard a bunch of rumors about her flirting with him. ) Well turns out she quit the job where we work and is staying with her boyfriend. Now he is in such a terrible mood, and i havent confronted him about this. He said im going to the gym, dont know when i will be back.... help me please. \n\nAlso, he tells me he loves me when i do, we still have a sexual relationship, which was an issue before because he wanted it much more than me, but i now have been doing much more to improve it. We just had our 4 year anniversary sunday, got each other new engagement rings, getting him one to show we basically are married. i dont really have anyone that i can talk to about any of this outside of the internet. so im sitting here in my own thoughts and am so upset.", "summary": "4 year relationship fiance (and we have children) he wanted to end because of some girl he was going to leave me for, who is now staying with her bf."} {"id": "t3_2hzyv4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My long term LDR [22F] told me [22M]\"I wish you never had your child\".", "post": "Context: this girl [22F] and I met online over 9 years ago. We were mutual love interests as young teens but when boys near her started showing interest she said she \"no longer needed\" me. That was at a time in my life that... Well, it emotionally crippled me for awhile. I tried to move on, dated a number of girls, eventually settled on one and got married. My now ex-wife [23F] and I just didn't work out. Early in our marriage we decided to have a child. We later decided that maybe we should wait and then she got pregnant. About 2.5 years later I was miserable and wanted to split up. \n\n22F and I began talking as friends again periodically for years but then started talking a lot more as I was realizing how miserable I was. I suppose I had a bit of an emotional affair with her. We met awhile ago while I was traveling through where she lives. \n\nMy work is moving me to within an hour of her and we decided to be together when I get there. That is a week from now. \n\nI have been wondering if going from being married to a serious relationship was a good idea or not. Then she apparently can't handle the fact I tried to move on when she dumped me. \n\nI just feel like on the list of things to not say to the single parent you are dating, \"I wish you never had (child's name)\" is #1. I am fucking pissed. I am worried that my fear of breaking promises is keeping me invested rather than my actual interest.", "summary": "LDR that I am moving near in a week told me she wished I never had a child and is angry by the fact I moved on when we stopped dating ~6 years ago."} {"id": "t3_28muts", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU: By letting a construction worker borrow my toilet.", "post": "So it all started when i was sitting in my home after school browsing reddit, the doorbell rings and i go to get it. Its one of the construction workers that are working on my families new garage. He asks if he could borrow my toliet and i let him since he seems like a nice guy. He finishes and talks a bit before he goes back to work. i go past the toilet and i pick up this nasty smell. I go into the toilet and there lies a fucking huge turd. It won't go down when i press the button. This 60 yr old man must have ripped up his asshole or something because this was huge. Never ever in my life seen something like this. I press the button 20 times still won't go down.\n\nWelp me reddit, it won't fucking go down the drain. My parents are coming home in 2hours and they are very strict on letting people into the house. Should i tell them its mine?", "summary": "Let a guy borrow my toilet. lays a huge motherfucker into it and its to big to be drained down."} {"id": "t3_2ii947", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to do my homework", "post": "First some background: I'm lazy as shit. The school i attend to has an annual country exchange where people from France and Canada come here to learn about our culture and shit like that. The french ones stay for 2 weeks while the canadian ones stay a complete semester. A friend of mine has no luck with women but he somehow managed to befriend a canadian girl and she is now his girlfriend. \nThe other night they kissed so passionately in a party that the looked awful.\n\nNow what happened: I couldn't do my homework because i didn't remember of it so I figured i could do it in my reccess. No problem there. When the my reccess begins i go out like i had already done my homework but someone reminds me of it so i go back to the classroom as fast as I can but oh ho... The two of them were making out and i believe that if I hadn't entered the classroom they would have had sex.", "summary": "i forgot to do my homework so i was going to do it on my free hour but my friend and his girlfriend we're almost losing their virginty."} {"id": "t3_1wj80r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [25F] broke up with me [21M] After we had dated 3 months. She realized she viewed me as a friend, but I don't view her that way.", "post": "This was my first relationship, and she is fantastic, we got along together great. Emotionally this is the best relationship she has had. \n\nShe had a rough week last week and broke up with me on sunday. We didn't have a fallout, was just a very stressful time for her.She said that she felt at this point in her life she was not ready to be in a relationship at all. Heard from a mutual friend (in a caring/motherly type way, wasn't breaking trust for this person to tell me) that it was because she views me as a friend, a great friend. \n\nI WANT to be okay with that, but I don't view her that way. I do not want to lose her friendship, but I don't know if I can handle \"just\" being friends with her. If I try to be friends with her I would probably have the mindset that once she feels she is ready to be in a relationship she will be ready to get back together with me. \n\nNot at all saying I should have that mindset, but I don't know what I should do. Besides this I have had a hard week and want to talk to her, have someone I can confide in.\n\n(I feel like this was too short but I wasn't sure what to put, first post in this subreddit)", "summary": "My relationship recently ended because she sees me as a great friend. I want to be okay with that but I don't know if I can, not sure what I should do."} {"id": "t3_4jjinl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (M21) and GF (20) of 3 1/2 have what i consider to be a terrible sex life and I'm not happy about it.", "post": "When we first started dating, we had a fairly decent sex life, probably having a lot to due with the fact that it was a reconnection after dating for a while and then being apart for a few months. \nAfter about a year things dropped to nothing really quick. We actually went 7 months without any sexual contact (not for my lack of trying)\nI got her to talk about it eventually, without any breakthroughs but some intimacy returned occasionally but rarely so I just went with it hoping it would come back gradually.\nFast forward to about a year ago. intimacy was still rare (1, 2, maybe 3 times in a month if i was lucky), but i took a chance and opened up about some rather kinky interests of mine that i wont go into here. She tried to act supportive but never got into them.\nNow our sex life is still mediocre at best if im being honest, being about as often as previously stated. When we do have sex, there is no passion on either end; her not being open on what i can do for her to make it better for her and me honestly starting to hate having sex with her because I'm tired of trying. When i try to suggest doing something kinky or anything different (always missionary because that's what she'll do and doggy if I'm lucky), she acts like its the biggest inconvenience ever. Occasionally she'll reluctantly take part in a main fetish of mine but makes it clear the whole time that she hates it and acts very passive aggressive when i try to make the experience better or acknowledge her discomfort and offer to stop.\nWith the lack of sex and passion I'm left rather unhappy in my situation. All i do recently is picture myself with someone else because of this. I don't want to leave though, I do love her very much, at least i think i still do, but this situation just messes with my head and heart.", "summary": "Sex life is awful and i want to know how to make things better or if this is it. I love her but im not happy in a relationship with no/terrible intimacy."} {"id": "t3_25k94l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend (27 M) cheated on me (29 F) now we are engaged. Any success stories of relationships with rough starts?", "post": "I am deeply in love with my boyfriend and he has had many problematic behaviors in the past. He has cheated on me, lied compulsively and struggled with his drinking. All of this in the first five months of our relationship. He has done a lot to improve himself: going to AA, trying to go without drinking, communicating/being transparent and going to a therapist. He has always had a huge amount of willingness/commitment to staying in our relationship. I have been struggling with pretty serious emotional dysregulation and have tried to leave the relationship so many times. I was previously diagnosed with BPD (have gone through recovery in DBT) but it makes all of this even harder that I am so sensitive emotionally... I am suppose to be happy I am engaged and this is one of my dreams but I feel so sad and doubtful from all the conflict we have been through. I am afraid he is getting tired of my processing all of this stuff and starting to withdrawal a bit too. Feel so uncertain. I would like to move forward and be healthy with him but I am not sure...\n\nDo other people have experiences with rocky starts to a relationship that ended up working out? How did you get through it together? Any tips? Thank you!!", "summary": "Turbulent relationship with my boyfriend... now we are engaged. Looking for stories where it worked out after having rocky beginnings with your partner. "} {"id": "t3_3da7fq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22M] can't tell if girl [21F] I met while travelling has any feelings for me", "post": "I met her two years ago when travelling in the summer to another country. We became very good friends and went out once or twice with just the two of us before I had to leave back to my country. I already had some feelings for her at the time before I had to leave but didnt bother saying anything to her as I thought I wouldn't ever see her again after leaving back to my country.\n\nFast forward two years later, we didn't keep in contact often in the past two years but talked occassionally. Two weeks or so before finding out I had an opportunity to go back to the country she lived in, I told her that I was coming back and she was very excited. We planned out places to visit and things to see when I came to visit.\n\nWhen I arrived she was the first person I saw as she picked me up at the airport. This time when I visited the country we visited many places together but we didn't have much time alone as a family member of mine came along with us. Eventually I actually met her mother and father who were very kind and showed me and my family member around the city and took us to eat a lot of delicious food as well. \n\nBefore I went to her country, I actually joked around and said to her that if she ever wanted to visit where I lived, she could stay at my place with my family. I didn't think that she would actually take me seriously and she told me a few days later that she was actually going to come visit me. She is coming this week to my city and I am planning to tell her how I feel after she arrives, however I don`t feel very confident in myself and am worried of being rejected and making things very awkward for us and for the rest of her visit. \n\nWhat should I do? I am absolutely clueless. Is there any chance that she could like me? Or should I just not say anything to her and just remain good friends", "summary": "Does girl I have feelings for from another country travelling to visit me in my city mean anything special? Or just good friends?"} {"id": "t3_10orw3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the biggest act of stupidoty you've witnessed?", "post": "I was shopping today in a big busy retail park, walking across the carpark i'd heard a car engine running, lights on etc... As i walked past, I noticed the owner was not in the car, or nowhere to be seen, so I had went to a shop nearby, asked for security and told them the situation (i didn't want to risk going in the car incase I got accused of anything)\nThe car was a brand new 12 plate renault megane. The owner had took the keycard out of the car, failed to lock the car, failed to stop the engine. Stood a chance of losing a \u00a310,000+ car through stupidity. What other acts of stupidity have you guys witnessed?", "summary": "\u00a310,000+ car left in carpark, engine running unattended. Good samaritan doesn't steal it."} {"id": "t3_22wlq3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with this girl [20F] just started dating. I suggested two different times for second date, she did not agree to either time.", "post": "I met this girl on a dating website. After some messaging back and forth we agreed to meet up on a date. Our first date was on Wednesday.\n\nI picked this restaurant not too far from her house. She loved the place, the atmosphere and the food. She commented on this several times. We had great conversations. She was laughing at my jokes and making some jokes of her own. We got along great.\n\nAfter dinner she asked if I wanted to get ice cream. The ice cream place was a place she frequents and it was only across the street. I agreed. She showed me around the place because the owner knows her as a regular. However she noticed that it was late in the evening and she had a ton of work that needs to be finished before the next day.\n\nAfter I dropped her off at her place I asked for her phone number (she expressed reluctance to give out her number over the internet to someone she hasn't met in person). She said \"I'll just message you\" in a happy tone and left.\n\nTwo days later I noticed that she hasn't send me the phone number like she promised. I messaged her telling her that I had a great time and asked her out again for next weekend. She said that she has a professional event to attend next weekend. I offered an alternate time (Friday evening) and she replied by saying \"I don't know yet\".\n\nAm I reading something wrong here or am I just freaking out over nothing? There was no reason for me to believe that our first date went badly. Should I wait and try again later on?", "summary": "Met girl through online dating. First date went perfect. Asked for second date but girl is not accepting my time suggestions. Should I wait to ask again?"} {"id": "t3_k35c7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need your help, Reddit! My roommate just got out of a relationship- details inside.", "post": "So today is my lovely roommate's birthday. We're sophomores in college and roomed together last year too. This morning she walks outside and then comes back in softly crying, saying that she and her boyfriend broke up. It wasn't totally unexpected, but hey, shit's tough. \n\nShe gets a little better, and I take her to lunch for her b-day and give her her present. There was a football game tonight (we go to a huge school) and so we pre-gamed at a friends house. She is tipsy and all is well. We go to the game and get separated cuz my tickets were at will call. fuck. no service to call her. So I sit alone for the first half, before deciding to go back to the dorm. \n\nAnd there she is lying in bed and crying. Its 10pm and she wants to go to bed cuz she has work in the AM. I even bought booze for us to party tonight, but she's not having it. So here I am on my laptop, not knowing what to do. I assume she won't cheer up immediately and the next few days/weeks are gonna be hard. I'm the type who never wears her heart on her sleeve, and I guess she is, so I don't know how to deal with that. How can I be a good and supportive friend to her, when she's sad/angry all the time?\nI've been through a bad break up before, but I hid my feelings from my friends, so I don't know how to be the supportive friend. What do I say?", "summary": "My roommate and her boyfriend broke up (on her goddamn birthday) and now she's depressed. What can I do to cheer her up and be a supportive friend in the next few days."} {"id": "t3_3epcfb", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I (m20) asked a friend (f21) a really selfish question, and don't know how to proceed.", "post": "What I asked should be pretty obvious, so I have a little background:\nWe are both army brats, and have been best friends for almost 5 years now. We talk multiple times a week and before she moved back stateside we hung out quite a bit. I recently moved back stateside (3 months ago) and she invited me to come stay with her and her family for a week. The week went by fine, I really enjoyed my time with her (and her family). The afternoon before my flight back home I don't know why but I asked and it was really awkward. Neither of us is looking for a relationship right now, we're both more concerned with finishing college.\n\nWe had disscussed maybe starting a relationship, but we were younger and she was moving and with an ocean between us it didn't seem like a good idea, and havn't really talked about it since. She is my best friend and was there for me at my lowest point in life (I failed out of my first choice University, lost a lot of stuff (money and so on), and my family started tearing itself apart over a will). I liked how things are/were between us, I don't know if I should apologize to her or just pretend it never happened.", "summary": "I asked to start a relationship in the heat of the wrong moment, made things a little awkward, and don't know if I should apologize or not (and how to apologize for something like this)?"} {"id": "t3_16sxgr", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I love you mom but CMON!", "post": "To get something offmychest before I start doing my job.\n\nI am 20 y/o male. I have always loved playing games. So I have spent maybe 8 year ~ish playing games on my PC, talking with other people in the games etc. Typical nerd. Not leaving my house when friends invite me to go drinking. (this was before 18) My mother likes that I didn't start drinking before I was 18 (18 is required to buy alcohol). Before this year I had only got drunk like 6 times. Now I have started drinking more and HAVING FUN. I am so fucking tired of being home at the computer playing dem games. I have fun gaming but I AM JUST SO FUCKING TIRED. I wanna have fun with people, drink, talk. Do things I might regret next day.\n\nSo about my mom.. She doesn't like that I drink this much because she used to have a problem with alcohol. And I know she is just worried that I end up like she did. But ffs, I am 20 and wanna have some fun. Last nite, I was shopping with my friend and went to take few beers at the this club. Its 22 (10pm) and my mom texts me that \"I hope you are not drinking you got work tomorrow\" I FUCKING KNOW THIS..\n\nI still love you mom. :)\n\nThank you.", "summary": "I have been a gamer almost my whole life, now wanna have fun and drink dat booze. My mom doesn't like it and is being an asshole. I still love my mom. Always."} {"id": "t3_2wwl56", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by falling asleep in my bro's bed", "post": "Alright, so this happened two days ago, on saturday afternoon. To set the scene, I go to a pretty large school in the south and the weekends pretty consist of drinking a lot and socializing. I got to the house where a few of my bros live at around 4 and to kill the time we decided to through a movie on and chill until it was time to start drinking and go out. HBO recently started carrying Bulletproof Monk so we throw that on. Turns out its fucking awful. I end up falling asleep on the end of his bed laying ~~horizontally~~ like a dog.\n\nFalling asleep was the beginning of my fuck up. I briefly remember a nightmare of being chased by some hellacious creature, I turn back to look at it while running, but cannot find it. I look forward. BANG I hit something.\n\nSo I come to stumbling up the stairs of my bud's house with a massive headache, not knowing what the fuck has happened to me. I rub my head (much to my chagrin it feels like its been beaten worse Denver in the super bowl last year) and find my hand covered in blood. I basically fall into the living room where all my friends are drinking and ask what the hell is going on and what happened. I simply can't talk and am concussed as fuck. I walk into the bathroom to find a major gash at the top of my head and blood all down my face. The next thirty minutes is comprised of me being in complete shock, not knowing where I am, and wondering what happened to me. I finally gather myself and start cutting up with my friends. This is when the guy who's room I fell asleep in walks through the front door holding a golf club... Not pointing fingers, but seriously, i'm suspicious now. \n\n**TIFU** by falling asleep on a bed doggy style, having my best friend hit me in the head with his golf club and being majorly concussed.", "summary": "Fell asleep on the end of a bed, had a nightmare, probably rolled off the bed, split my head open, and got a major concussion."} {"id": "t3_sa9yp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Advice for an unknown problem", "post": "So me and a group of 7 friends were going to go see Wicked (a Broadway play) tonight. I was all set to go until I got a call from one of the friends in question. He told me that one of the girls in the group had some shit with me and wouldn't go if I was going to be there. Not wanting to cause any trouble I decided that I wouldn't go.\n\nBut what I want to know, is why she had shit with me. Me and her have never been the closest friends and I don't believe I've said anything that could have upset her. In fact, I haven't really hung out with her in a long while. Any ideas of why she might not want to see me, Reddit? Any advice on how to get closer to her?", "summary": "A girl has some unknown \"shit\" with me and doesn't want to see me when I haven't done anything that might have upset her."} {"id": "t3_3b7izh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of a year, she isn't talking to me because I got drunk last night by myself.", "post": "Last night, I was bored and alone in my room, so I decided to grab a bottle of wine from my parents wine cabinet and have some to drink. Now, I've had alcohol before and I've been drunk on one occasion previous to this. I drank the entire bottle, and was quite drunk afterwards. My girlfriend wanted to talk on the phone, so I called her and we were having a normal conversation. Well, it was pretty obvious how drunk I was, and when she found out the extent of my drunkeness she hung up on me. \n\nI texted her apologizing, saying that I shouldn't have been drinking at all(which is true, I should not have even touched the bottle), and when I said something along the lines of \"baby I'm so sorry, I didn't know you felt that strong about alcohol\", she told me to not call her baby, and she said goodbye. This really hurts, I loved her. She was an amazing girlfriend, and what confuses me is that we always talk about sneaking out and having a bottle of wine together. I thought she wouldn't care if I had a bottle to myself. I'm pretty sure she's upset because of how drunk I was, not because I drank with out her.\n\nI tried texting her today but she hasn't replied", "summary": "my girlfriend is mad because I got drunk alone in my room, I think it might be over. Is there anything else I can do besides apologizing profusely to her, and meaning it?"} {"id": "t3_4st4iz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26F] and my live-in boyfriend [23M] of 13 months, keeps me up at night with tv", "post": "Throwaway cause BF knows I Reddit.", "summary": "BF keeps me up at night with loud tv in living room and gets mad when I ask him to move to farther room which has a smaller set."} {"id": "t3_c8rwr", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Weekend fun out of town turns out \"interesting\"", "post": "Went out to a friends place last weekend to get away from the city. Ended up going to a social and met his sister, I was very drunk and she was very forward about liking me. We talked a little bit while walking on the beach and then we went back to there place and her and I ended up watched TV until like 5 in the morning... nothing happened other than some hand holding/cuddling. The next day we both act like it was nothing and I leave back home, only to find she's added me to Facebook and is being very chatty with me, we exchange phone numbers...\n\nTwo days later she tells me she's coming into the city because she needs to pick up a few things, and we decide to get together to hang out a bit. We go to the park and throw around a frisbee for a while and decide to go back to my place and watch some TV. One thing leads to another and we're making out, etc... again I don't go any further because she's my friends sister, currently has a bf, and is 18 and I'm 23. The age thing doesn't bother me too much, but her being my buddies sister is a little weird.\n\nI know I should have told her no I was busy to hang out but she is a pretty cool girl. Should I ask her brother if he's cool with me potentially dating his younger sister? I've talked to her about her having a bf and she's been trying to build up the courage to break up with him for about a week", "summary": "went to social with friend, ended up liking to his sister, did some hand holding, kissing... she's 5 years younger than me, and has a bf."} {"id": "t3_4eixsn", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Counting Calories and Exercising?", "post": "Hello all.\n\nSo recently I've started to count my calories and am on the road to losing some weight, but I've got a few concerns. My main question is: why is that if you eat below a recommended amount of calories, your benefits drop off? For example, I know most males aren't supposed to eat fewer than 1500 calories a day, and when I do (or did, should I say) the weight loss just isn't as prominent (not to mention that at below this point, the body's chemicals start to unbalance).\n\nI have also synced my Fitbit with MFP to track my steps, and I input my workouts too, but the question still exists: should I eat enough calories so MFP is satisfied and I've \"met my goal\" or should I continue just to eat 100-500 below my TDEE and exercise to burn more calories?", "summary": "Why do loss benefits drop dramatically below a certain number of calories (ex: 1500 for men)? Should I eat back my exercise calories from MFP?"} {"id": "t3_2lg6l3", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "30f feeling obsessive/rejected after brief encounter with 23m", "post": "My friend put me on the list for a big party he was promoting for Halloween. At the party, I started talking to a guy in the VIP area, and he started kissing me. At some point he gave me his business card. Then\u2014here's where it gets hazy\u2014one of his friends came over and said something to offend me. I don't really remember what was said, but I remember it was offensive enough that I just got up and left without saying goodbye -- and left the party. For the last five days, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the guy I met and was kissing. Yesterday I added him on FB and sent him an accompanying message (his FB info was on his card), and this morning I noticed that he'd \"seen\" the message, but didn't accept my friendship request. Now I've been beating myself up about contacting him, thinking I shouldn't have done it, thinking I'm a total weirdo...on and on. You know when you meet someone and you are just attracted to them in a primal way? That's how I feel about this guy. I walked over seven miles today to try to shake this obsessive/nervous energy, but it didn't work. I feel really, really lame for trying to add him on FB and just trying to \"chase\" in general. I think I need to get a grip. Advice?", "summary": "met a guy at a party, tried to add him on FB, he's not adding me, way too upset and obsessed"} {"id": "t3_tdppv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "my sex drive is higher than his. well damn.", "post": "**25 F engaged to 26 M. Together for 3 years now, living together. Happy... for the most part.**\n\nThis is the best relationship I've ever been in. We're so stupidly compatible, it's hard to believe. I love spending time with him, and I know we're in it for the long haul.\n\nIt's just... Well, in the beginning, our sex drives were pretty evenly matched. It's nothing crazy, but y'know, everything was new and so we did it pretty frequently. And sex with him was always great for both of us. A year passes, everything's still good. We work a lot so sometimes we go a while without seeing each other. And then on days off, we're tired so we just cuddle.\n\nBut after year two, I noticed that the sex started to wane. I still wanted it. I'm usually always game. That's just how I am. But he would be tired or maybe not in the mood. And I'm not pushy when it comes to stuff like that. In fact, it makes me feel a little rejected sometimes, even when I know it's not a big deal. Maybe I just assume guys wanna do it all the time, and forget that they're human.\n\nBut I don't know if it's because he's actually tired and just naturally less sex driven, or if he's just losing interest. I don't want to be in one of those old relationships where the sex is kinda dead. By now, we're down to like... once or twice a week. And honestly, I'm left feeling a little ... unsatisfied and self conscious.\n\nFor the record, nothing else in our relationship has changed. It's really just this sex thing... but that's a pretty big part of a relationship so I just need to know.\n\nTell me, guys. Is this normal? What can I do to let him know I'm not satisfied without offending him? I'm not really big on bringing it up to him because I don't want him to feel like he HAS to have sex with me because I want him to.", "summary": "Boyfriend's desire to screw is lessening with time. Nothing else has changed and relationship is still great... but I need sexytime, damnit! Is this normal? Deal with it or say something?"} {"id": "t3_15eg54", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I 27M (her: 21F) don't get enough sex and it's killing my mood and harming our relationship dynamics", "post": "We're supposed to be in our primes and doing it six, seven times a day. Wrong. When we first met, we probably had that much the first week. Nowadays, I'm lucky if we do it four times a month. We have been together for 2 years, lived together for 1.5y.\n\nI'm always moody and she gaslights and guiltrips me saying that it's *always* about sex with me. That everything I do, that I'm nice to her simply to get sex (to some degree, this is true.) I'm always the one who initiates it.\n\nI hate asking for it. It's pathetic and shameful to be always begging for that fruit. But for the last year now, it's always me who begs. Most of the times, I don't get it. She's always putting it off: \"Tomorrow, okay?.... I have a headache... I'm sleepy.... I'm just not in the mood.\"\n\nYes, we sat down and talked about this seriously, one on one. I am getting the feeling that we're just not compatible sexually. For the record, I have never given her an orgasm. She has never given herself one when masturbating. I am her second sexual partner and the guy before me hasn't given her one either. I bought her a $100 Gigi thinking it'd get some \"solo sessions\" only to see it collect dust.\n\nI'm at a loss what to do... what to say. I would hate to admit that we have a sexual incompatibility problem. To me, that's important. If you're sexually incompatible... what then? Can you try to make everything else work?", "summary": "I don't get enough sex. She always complains that I ask for it too much. This has been going on for about a year now... I'm at a loss at what to do."} {"id": "t3_4nzaof", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Hubby says 'no more kids'. I'm heartbroken.", "post": "Background: I am 26f, he is 29m. We have an 8 month old son. We will celebrate 4 years of marriage in September. I work, he is currently a stay-at-home dad. He deals with significant anxiety and has a chronic GI disease. \n\nTonight he tells me he doesn't want to have any more children. He knows I do but that I don't want to have another for like 3-4 years. I simply don't want him to make a decision right now. He says 'ok' but that I should know how he is feeling.\n\nHe loves our little boy & our son is typically a very happy baby. During my pregnancy, he gave us some issues with a bit of pre-term labor and then his actual labor and delivery was a bit dramatic (ie. Anxiety producing for dad). And, he still does not sleep through the night and when we put him down to sleep, he is hysterical for about 30 minutes. This gives both daddy and I a lot of anxiety. Daddy doesn't get a lot of solid nights of sleep. I do offer to stay with baby on nights where I don't work the next day, but he usually tells me no.\n\nI could go more into the 'why' for his feelings but really, I want to know how I deal with this? How do I get over this? I didn't say much to him because I was so sad. I don't want our son to be an only child. I would love to have a daughter to play dress up with or give my son a little sidekick brother. Originally I wanted 3 kids but have since scaled that down to 2. I just don't know how to accept this.... :(", "summary": "married 4 years, 8 month old baby. Hubby says no more kids, I want one more. How do I deal with this?"} {"id": "t3_spmqi", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I hope you guys can help me out with me (former) best friend. I'm really counting on Reddit for this one.", "post": "Long story short, her ex was an asshole to her in high school, she broke up with him, and then dated his best friend for a short time. When university started, she saw her ex again at uni, felt guilty because he said he had started doing drugs and drinking alcohol cuz of her. She starts dating him again; he emotionally and verbally abuses her, tells her that I'm an asshole who wants to use her etc. She stops talking to everyone until Christmas break. We (me, her sister, and other friends) convinced her to break up with him. And she did. But after going back to uni, she started having a thing with him again. This time, I lost my cool and got mad, yelled at her. She told me off, but I still apologized to her in March. A few hours ago, she emailed me saying she was happy with that asshole and I said that was good for her, but I was never going to forgive him (he says he has cancer, no symptoms or proof to support it). I told her that he was not my concern anymore, blah blah blah. She told me I was being egoistic and needed to keep my anger away. Hence, making me sound like the bad guy. Now should I still work my way and try to save the friendship or should I just tell her off?", "summary": "Best friend has been a bitch too me for a while, should I still apologize (again) and try saving friendship or tell her off?"} {"id": "t3_17nbir", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Did I make a mistake? How long until this stops hurting?", "post": "I [M/20] broke up with my gf [19] of almost two years in the middle of December. We both go to separate colleges about 3 hours apart, and have been dating since the end of our senior year in high school. We've almost always been a LDR, except over breaks where I come home and stay with my parents, who live near where she lives and goes to college.\n\nI ended it because I felt that our relationship hasn't been growing when we were apart, despite phone and Skype calls. We're very different (she a performance major, me an engineer), and I often felt like we had nothing in common to talk about. When we're together, everything was great, but apart the best our relationship was was stagnant.\n\nIt's been about six weeks now, and I still think about and miss her every day. She was my first, and my first love. I want to be friends with her, but we've hardly talked since the breakup, as I think it's too painful for both of us. When I think about how it hurt her, and hard it was, I still tear up.", "summary": "How long until it stops hurting to think about? Why do I regret this so much, even though I think I did the right thing?"} {"id": "t3_4pbbmx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] with my mother [41F] , We always fight at home. Did moving out repair your relationship with your parents?", "post": "My mother and I always fight. I guess it's just her nature to be irrational and extremely dramatic. If things don't go her way she throws a fit like a child. She gets angry really quickly and once she has made an assumption she refuses to hear any explanation. Once I burnt a pancake while making breakfast. She emerges from the room angry+screaming + crying and tells me if the house gets burnt down she will make sure I go to jail.This one time when I was a kid she punched and slapped me in front of everyone because I didn't do homework. That night she \"mocked kick out\" me. She threw call my clothes in the backyard and I slept there until my dad arrived and saved me. I still get nightmares from that. There is a LOT more instances that I cannot enumerate. It would take me forever.\n\nI am moving out for college this Saturday. School starts September but I am leaving early. Despite this week being my last,the fights never died down. This time dad isn't around to be the referee since he currently works in a different city. As always I am the bad guy again and she is the good. I still love her but we cannot live together in the same house. Our personalities don't click. I am hoping that moving out will repair what we have since we will be on equal footing and I won't be subbordinate to her.", "summary": "Mother and I fight a lot and don't click living in thecsame house. Did moving out help you repair your relationship with your parent?"} {"id": "t3_xywm1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Want to tell my girlfriend [18] I'm[16] uncomfortable with her hanging out with her exes.", "post": "So, my girlfriend have been going out for about 8 months, and it's been by far the best relationship I've ever been involved in. In fact it's been the only relationship I've been involved in, so I have no idea what I'm doing. First of all, should I even tell her how I feel about it? Or am I just going to come off a way to clingy and controlling? I mean, just today she went out and had ice cream with one of her exes that she went out with for around a year and a half. She is heading off to university about a week from now, and she invited a different ex and it might just me being paranoid, but I swear they disappeared together for a little bit. Also, one of her best friends is a guy, and I saw a text that he sent her once, telling her about how he would drop everything for her if she even showed the slightest interest in going out. Any advice I could get would be very useful.", "summary": "My girlfriend hangs out with most of her exes and it makes me really uncomfortable. Also the closeness that one of her friends has with her bothers me. I'm a guy by the way."} {"id": "t3_123xz2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I feel like a teenager for asking this, but what can I do to stop my sister from taking my stuff?", "post": "A little background here, we're not teenagers, I'm 27 she's 33, we \"don't live together\" supposedly, she has her house but spends most of the week here at home (I live with my parents, is common here, and I'm not going to move until I get married) she keeps using my stuff, I wouldn't have a problem with that, but she keeps breaking it, ruining it or spending it to the last drop, and then says that she didn't use it, and my mom actually believes her so she (my mom) starts a huge fight with me because she says I have something against my sister and my sister always tell her that if I keep blaming her she won't come back home, so my mom gets all butt hurt and keeps fighting with me.\n\nSo the main problem here is not her actually taking my stuff, my problems are: \n\nShe never ask for permission\n\nShe denies it\n\nShe keeps damaging the stuff and spending it, I don't grow money on trees and is not like she's poor and she couldn't afford her own stuff, she actually makes more money than me.\n\nAll this shit about her talking to my mom and trying to make me look like a crazy woman and that I hate her (my sister) really had have a huge impact on the relationship with my mother and I'm starting to kinda resenting both of them.\n\nThat last point is what matters the most to me, I tried hiding my stuff but in only results in my sister telling my mom that I hid it, and my mom again bashing me because I'm so \"selfish\", let me clarify I'm not, I buy a lot of stuff for my sister and invite her to things all the time, I'm just a little OCD and I hate when people grab my stuff or move it or anything along those lines, and I really get pissed of that she denies it, sometimes is something so stupid, I may just ask \"hey did you grab my hair brush?\" without any intention of being mad at her about it or anything, and she just says \"No\" when I know she did because my OCD helps me remind how I left my things.", "summary": "My sister keeps using, spending and breaking my things and denies it to my mom who just keeps bashing me about how \"I hate my sister and I'm crazy\" this is damaging my relationship with both of them."} {"id": "t3_4rcyjo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] asked out my coworker (20sM) who I had been crushing on for a few months and he told me he's gay. Please help me take this in stride and not get all worked up over how embarrassed I am.", "post": "Ok so it basically happened like I said in the title, I asked him out and he told me he's gay. Lol. Before asking him out it occurred to me that it was a possibility of course, along with many others. He's very kind and we have some stuff in common and I guess I'm just bad at reading signals. Oops. \n\t\nAnyway, he was nice and understanding and said it was ok when I got all embarrassed after he told me. I'm just dreading seeing him again. I'm sure he'll be fine since he handled it so well, but I don't know how to act normal and not like I'm dying of anxiety and embarrassment inside. (I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and I'm in therapy for that and a lot of other things) We don't work together super often, thankfully. Rationally, I know shit happens and it's not the end of the world. But my lizard brain does not allow me to take that to heart. Help. The cringe is too strong.", "summary": "Asked out my coworker and it turns out he's gay. He was nice but I'm really embarrassed. Help me not be awkward and weird."} {"id": "t3_53z6g3", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "How should I go about this?", "post": "I finished my schooling and have a job but I started out very underpaid. Took this job because it would be a good learning experience and assumed that after my probation period I would be compensated. I asked for my reevaluation and my manager talked me up a lot. Said I'm worth so much more than what I am being paid and possibilities of moving me up in the company later down the road. Now where I work is a very small company and the manager is the son of the owner and the owner is a real cheap person. So they gave me a 1 dollar raise and I still fall into the underpaid aspect of my field. So I applied to some other places and actually have an interview tonight. If an offer is made to me tonight should I go back and see if my current employer will match/ offer more?", "summary": "current job gave me a raise still making me underpaid in my field. Have interview tonight do I bring their offer to my current boss?"} {"id": "t3_2l62hy", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Alternative Jobs in Strip Clubs?", "post": "I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree and I've been out of work for 7 months now. No one in my field is hiring, esp. someone without 5 years experience. I'm starting to get into trouble financially with rent, bills, student loans, etc. piling up and I need something flexible that pays well. I have easily applied to 80+ jobs now in the last 7 months but I swear people only hire via nepotism. More recently I've been considering stripping but after a lot of thought and research I don't think it's for me.\n\nMy question is, is there any jobs similar to stripping? \n\nAre there other jobs opportunities in strip clubs or swingers clubs where little experience is required?\n\nI'm very comfortable dressing in lingerie, I have pole dancing experience (fitness). Honestly, burlesque and cabaret performances would be ideal, but unfortunately its a labor of love and not very profitable (in my area anyway). I've considered go-go dancing, but I can't freestyle dance. I'm just considering more options, any suggestions would be very helpful.", "summary": "Are there jobs similar to stripping? Opportunities in strip clubs or swingers clubs with little experience required? Ex. Hostess, Bottle-Service Girl, etc.?"} {"id": "t3_ynq5z", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "People of Reddit, what is the creepiest compliment you have ever received?", "post": "A few months ago our history class went on a school trip to an theme park. When we got inside, the park was FULL of adults and other school children and towards the end of the trip my friends and i (there were 4 of us including me) decided to go on one more ride which was supposedly scary. When we got to it it wasn't really a ride, more of a haunted house, we entered the house-church like structure and realised it was full of adults and only a Handfull of children, we got settled when suddenly the lights when out and everybody went quiet. I tried nudging my friends but no one was there and I panicked, i contemplated calling our for my friends but I didn't dare disturb the silence. I backed up and I hit what I first though was a wall but realised it was a person, whoever it was felt like an adult because my head only reached my chest, I stalled for a whole then the person pinched my ass really hard and said in a raspy, heavy voice \"Nice ass\" and then BOOM! Thunder bolts audio came through the speakers and candles were lit and I turned around but whoever it was had gone away. The candle lit provided me enough light to make out my friends and I went and stood with them. Through some thinking i just took it as a compliment. \nI'm male and 14 if anyone's wondering.", "summary": "Someone who i suspect is a built, gay adult pinched my ass and told me it was nice in a haunted house."} {"id": "t3_51c2q0", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Was doing great (lost 20 pounds), now worse than ever and feel like I can't stop eating (30/f)", "post": "Hello! As the title describes, I had been losing weight (or at least maintaining) up until about two months ago. I'm now afraid to look at the scale, but I have NOTICEABLY gained weight. Some of my clothes don't fit me anymore. Formerly: 5'7\", 160 lbs.\n\nI've been a subscriber of this site for a long time and totally get that CICO is really the only way to lose weight, that you shouldn't weigh yourself all that often, etc. That was never a problem before. My diet was not incredibly strict to begin with (1 lb/week goal on MFP). I now feel like I'm straight up addicted to food. I am eating in volumes I've NEVER eaten before. Nothing about my life has changed beyond my eating habits.\n\nI have OCD (worried I'm compulsively eating, if that's even a thing) and bipolar 1 (yes, I am medicated; no, not with the stuff that causes weight gain -- quite the opposite). I should note that I don't really feel depressed. My life is pretty decent right now! Also, I've never been a \"depression eater\" anyway. Oh, also, 110% sure I'm not pregnant.\n\nHow does one suppress this kind of appetite? Lately it seems that if I'm not eating, I am obsessively thinking about eating and believing I'm hungry. I can't possibly be hungry! What can I do to get back to eating a normal, reasonable amount that would result in gradual weight loss (last I checked, my TDEE was something like 2,000 but I've gained weight since then...)? I have NEVER been an overeater before; any weight gain in the past has been due to eating a moderate amount of complete shit, not eating LOTS of complete shit. I don't even know how to go about losing weight when my issue is the volume I'm eating and not the nutrition (or lack thereof).", "summary": "Developed an issue with overeating and constantly feeling hungry. This has never been the case with me before, so I have no clue as to how to attack weight loss from a volume standpoint and not just a nutrition standpoint."} {"id": "t3_4b4cih", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "Please, if anyone has any advice I have a very sick cat and Vet visits aren't helping.", "post": "So over the last year we struggled with urinary issues with my male cat Scooter (we had him and a younger female named Lyra). We allowed my friend's cat to stay with us for a week because she was moving but after that he got a really bad UYI and we began a battle with urine issues until the beginning of January this year when he began blocking and was at the vet for about 2 solid weeks before we had to make the decision to put him to rest, he was in so much pain. Lyra was miserable so after 2 months we finally caved and got a kitten: Meseeks. The night we brought Meseeks home Lyra was super tense so we gave her some of her wet food (usually a treat once or twice a week) which she gobbled down. That night she puked 3 times, and once more Thursday morning. That is the last time she has eaten. She was dry heaving while we were gone Thursday (spit and bile). She's now been to the vet twice, and they said she has an inflamed stomach lining. She won't take the medicine they prescribed the first time and my instructions after the second visit were to try to help her destress. She's still spitting up in her mouth and making the puking meow. She shows interest in the new kitten, tense but not a lot of hostility. I'm not sure how else to help her, and I'm very worried because I haven't seen her drink anything.", "summary": "I have a very unhappy cat who can't or won't eat/drink, vet visits aren't getting results and I'm worried sick."} {"id": "t3_h0b1j", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My very good friend is graduating from the University of Alabama...", "post": "Because of the storm, she won't get to take her finals or walk in a graduation ceremony. I feel terrible for her and there isn't much I can do to make her feel better since I'm in Texas. \n\nI do know that she is very proud of her photography. (www.olevoltaphotography.com) I know it isn't much, but if I thought that maybe if you guys took a look at her pictures and if you liked them, payed her a compliment or just sent her some well-wishes on the contact page. But please, if you don't like it, or think I'm whoring a website, do me a favor and just don't insult her, you can say whatever you want to me in the comments on reddit. \n\nBy the way, the site looks fairly professional but she only does photography as a hobby, she's just very proud of her pictures.", "summary": "My friend is sad about not getting to be in graduation because Alabama blew away, but she takes pretty pictures, can you say hi on her website to make her feel better? www.olevoltaphotography.com"} {"id": "t3_43bs0l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my Ex-Boyfriend [22 M] of 8 years, Ended relationship, I'm deeply falling into Depression. How do I pull myself out?", "post": "We met when we were around 14 and kind of grew up together into young adults. \nAnyway I don't really want to go into detail because it's pretty difficult for me to talk about. \nHe was my first love and the only person I have ever been in true love with in my life, and always will be. \nI'm falling into depression (have been for a while now) and I don't really know how to pull myself out. I'm afraid I will end up seeking for guys to replace him with, even though it will never feel the same as you can never really find true love if you look for it. \nI am starting to lack motivation to achieve my goals, or focus on anything other than this failure of a relationship for that matter.. I find myself eating more as comfort cause I don't really know how else to fill the void that's been built up inside? I find that I know have major trust issues/insecurities over guys due to cheating in the past and after seeing how my parent's relationship was a failure. I'm just very terrified of relationships and hurt by them. It has shattered my confidence as a girl. \nIs there anyone who has gone through something as long and meaningful to you, how does one comfort oneself and learn to carry on when there is so much heartache and pain?", "summary": "Falling into Depression due to failure of a very long/first serious relationship. Getting in the way of life in general, how do I build myself up again?"} {"id": "t3_42asjz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I moved halfway across the world and need help with an LDR!", "post": "Hi /r/relationships !\n\nI've recently started dating a close friend of mine and it's become long distance very soon into our relationship. I'm 21 and she's 19, and we're both in university. \n\nTo give some context, we had known each other for about a year, and were previous coworkers. In May, we began to hang out a lot, and although I had no intentions before, I ended up developing feelings for her. Come November, I told her of these feelings and we had decided to become an official couple. \n\nHowever, at the beginning of January, I left across the world to Taiwan for an 8 month long internship. This was very crushing for us as we were still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship, but there was nothing to be done about that. \n\nNow it's been about 2 weeks, and I don't know how to deal with our relationship. I don't speak the language here and am in the process of learning, so while I'm not busy with work, my girlfriend is really the only thing that's on my mind, and I'm always ready to talk with her at moments notice. However, she does have her own life back home, and friends to support her, and I often get the feeling that I am being neglected or forgotten while she goes and has fun with her friends.\n\nObviously this is not the case, as she needs to live her life without me as well, but lately I've been pressuring her to put more effort on her part, which has led to quite a few arguments. \n\nWe text and chat every single day, and I'm always craving more. I know that she's putting in effort for me and misses me, but I don't know how to accept and deal with the fact that she needs to live her own life. \n\nPlease give me advice on how to distract myself here and let my girlfriend live her life! Thanks everyone!", "summary": "long distance relationship shortly after we started dating. I always feel that I'm not getting enough attention while that is not the case. Please help!"} {"id": "t3_4b6h0m", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I [20 M] meet this girl [20 F] over spring break but now with spring break over we need to go separate ways. What do I do?", "post": "Hey guys, over the spring break, I met this girl at a friend's party. We immediately clicked and spent hours talking and laughing. We went ahead and set up a date for the next day. Just a small date where we spent walking around downtown and sight seeing all her favorite places. I enjoyed every second of it and I could tell she did too. At the end of the day, I told her how much I enjoyed spending time with her and she said she did too. Before I left dropped her at her place, I had to tell her I was only here for a week and had to leave for school in a couple days. I could see she was saddened by it. I kissed her and dropped her off. Now I am laying in my bed wondering what I should do. It's funny how even though I only spent a day with her, I have never felt like that with any other girl. Don't want to sound like a dick but usually girls at parties or some attractive girls I know, I am only attracted to them sexually and nothing more but she was different. I don't know what I should do. I am afraid I might lose her if I don't make a move right now but I don't know if I should ask her to be my girlfriend since we have only been on one date and won't see each other until summer break. I don't know what to do. Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you.", "summary": "Met this girl over spring break and we immediately clicked. Now I have to go back to school and am not sure what I should do."} {"id": "t3_14sn77", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend's [18] ex [17F] hates me. [16F]", "post": "Throwaway with a relevant name, as that's what she wants to do me funnily enough. Also we're from the UK, just in case some worry about ages.\n\nIt started in the summer, two months after she (let's call her Green) broke off their relationship due to 'exams'. Green was insistent that she did not care for my now boyfriend (let's call him Red). So Red and I met up one day and we ended up sleeping together. It was just casual. I decided to be honest with Green, to gain her blessing, I suppose, and it's been a downward spiral since then. She claimed to be happy for us, then took an extremely sour turn. \n\nSince the end of June, she has been increasingly antagonising towards me, tells others how much she hates me (though in October she actually had sex with me, never again... Apparently she didn't hate me then?) and how much she isn't over Red, going so far to admit it to Red himself a few days ago. We've been officially a couple for a couple of weeks, but essentially (acting like one, exclusivity) for a couple of months, and Green is driving me crazy. Her devotion to him is so clear, she brings him up in conversation but screeches to a halt when I do so myself...\n\nShe reacted oddly happily when I told her we were a couple and it has me worried, especially taking her prior behaviour into account. We were both skeptical of her happiness, considering what happened last time she said she was \"happy\" for us.\n\nSorry if this was confusing or lacking in detail. Any advice is appreciated.", "summary": "My boyfriend's ex said she didn't care after breaking up with him, now she does, and hates me for \"stealing\" him. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_4gtsu2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17M] with my Ex [17F] broke up 6 months ago, she wrote a bunch of poems", "post": "So I broke up with her after two months for a bunch of reasons that I don't really want to go into and we were friends for about two weeks after. That was until I found out that she probably cheated on me with someone who used to be my friend and blew him about 30 minutes after we broke up. Basically I told her I just didnt want to talk to her again. My friend who works for our schools poetry and art journal showed me two poems that she submitted. They are directly about me and one of them is called \"boys R dumb.\" She references specific things about me like how I like cool ranch doritos and that I should enjoy my new girlfriend (I have been with a different girl for the past three months and it has been awesome). \n\nShe wrote some pretty terrible things about me that just arent true and I am not sure if I should confront her or just leave it. I am also wondering if this could end up being a problem with my new girlfriend because I am 90% sure she will read them. Is there anything I can do?", "summary": "Ex wrote two poems about me and it is going to be published in our final school poetry book. Im not sure what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_443zvz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] unusual connection with my friend [22 M] 10 years", "post": "I'm not sure if it's a question, but I'm wanting to see if this is normal within some friendships. I will try to keep this as simple as possible and try to get straight to the point.\n\nI've been friends with a mate of mine going on 10 years. It's been in the last 6 years or so that we have been pretty close friends. It was in the last 4 years we have found that we have this \"unusual\" or \"weird\" connection between each other. It's not like a connection you get with a normal friendship.\n\nAn example may be, if something happened to me, like I lost someone close to me, the same thing will happen to him within a few months of each other. And vise versa, if something happened to him, something very similar will happen to me.\n\nWe both have been through so much together, both good and bad it's actually a surprise that we are still friends. But if it wasn't for this connection that we have with each other we probably wouldn't be friends right now.\n\nI can go into more detail if this still doesn't make sense, but all I want to know is, is this sort of connection normal with friendships? Maybe it's normal for a soul mate but we are both straight and we are not attracted to each other. Normally I would be like, maybe I'm thinking too much into it, but he has told me he feels the same way about this connection we have.", "summary": "It is normal? Does anyone else have these sort of experiences with close friends of theirs? As far as we are aware, we have not found anyone else with a similar connection."} {"id": "t3_4qz4a8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [16M] BIL [28M] was going to give me his sports car because he is getting a new car. My sister and Mom [25F&45F] stopped him from giving it to me", "post": "As the title said my brother in law was going to give me his awesome car to drive and it would be all mine. My sister and mother told him that is absolutely not happening and told him it's not safe. Now he is planning to sell it to some guy in Cincinnati and I have no car. \n\nHow do I tell them this is not cool and I want my car, I have no car now. How the hell am i suppose to get around? they are selling my car because \" it's not safe\" it's not like I was going to speed around corners and go drift racing. \n\nSo I have no car now and I have no way to get around. But my sister and mom ruined my chance of having a cool car. What's worse is all the girls in the family support this, my other sisters support this decision. \n\nHow can I get them to give me the car?", "summary": "My sister and mom stopped my BIL from giving me his cool car. My other sisters are supporting the decision not to give it to me."} {"id": "t3_34cc7u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm torn here and I just want some input on what you guys and girls would suggest I do", "post": "I am a senior guy (17) and I asked a junior girl (16) to prom last week and she said yes very enthusiastically. At first it was as friends but then it kinda snowballed from there. She got out of a three year relationship three months ago and she made it very clear that she didn't want a relationship right now. Her exact words were \"hey I just want to make sure you know that I'm going to prom with you as friends..? Ben broke up with me about three months ago and we dated for three years and I'm not ready for anything\". Prom is in a month and I graduate shortly after. I mean I really like this girl and I kind of have nothing to lose but on the other hand I want a clean slate for college. What would you guys and girls suggest? If you think i should go for it how would you suggest I win her over? Sorry I wrote a novel. Let me know if you need clarification or any more info", "summary": "I'm a senior and I asked a junior to prom. She got out of a three year relationship three months ago. I like her. Should I pursue it or just go to college with a clean slate?"} {"id": "t3_33x413", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm [16/f] in a love triangle with my friend (16/f) & a guy (16/m)", "post": "I really like my friend but she doesn't know that yet. I don't know how it happened; one minute she's my friend and the next thing you know I really want her. I know that the other guy really likes her because he told her and she told me but lately he's been acting douchebag-y and she doesn't know if they should even be in a relationship together because they're so different from each other. \n\nHe doesn't know that I want to be in a relationship with her. She's been gone all weekend on vacation but she's coming back around the afternoon today. I've told her before she left that I want to talk to her in person at a casual dining restaurant or something when she comes back. \n\nI'm not sure what to tell her though. I know I want to tell her how I feel about her and if she feels the same way then I don't want the other guy to end up hating my guts because I'm pretty good friends with him. I don't want to ruin anything between them either. \n\nAnd I guess if she doesn't feel the same way about me then that's life.. But I would still want to be friends with her if that is the case. What do I say when it comes time to talk?", "summary": "in love triangle with another girl and guy. Guy likes girl, I like girl. Girl doesn't know if should be with guy. Girl and guy both don't know that I like girl. What do I tell girl."} {"id": "t3_3oov0j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 F] with my bf [21 M] ~1.5 years, i feel like i make everything into a problem with my issues", "post": "I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and a half, and while the relationship on a whole has been comfortable (this is the best form of a relationship in my mind, comfort equates long lasting). He is wonderful and just really really great, but recently, my own issues have started coming into play much more than they used to.\nI have undiagnosed depression and anxiety problems, combined with an overall low self-esteem and low grade clinginess (if you get my drift with my problems) which were all declared before we even dating, so it's not unknown to him, but I've spent most of our relationship keeping it under wraps because nothing logical would come out of it and the relationship would've spiraled into disfunctionality. Over the summer, we stayed together a lot and we started getting into many arguments that honestly looking back, stemmed from my own issues clashing with my boyfriend. \n\nWe came to an agreement that I should get some therapy, if not to perfectly fix everything but to at least work out how to deal with everything, and my therapy appointment is scheduled for next week (insurance and moving prolonged everything) but I do feel myself being stretched thin and causing more fights for no reason, so I ask you all, how can I restrain my issues until I start therapy? I'm talking positive coping mechanisms, etc.", "summary": "I have so many issues but I will be going to therapy, what can I do to cope and not be destructive until I start therapy and not take it out on my boyfriend"} {"id": "t3_1u8bzl", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "i like this girl, and i think she likes me back, problem is i have a girlfriend, what should i do?", "post": "so if you will browse through my previous question yesterday, i asked if i should just stay with my girl since i already got her pregnant (though i was planning on leaving her but later found out she was pregnant and decided to continue with the pregnancy) and some guys advised that i dont stay with the mom for the childs sake, that i just be a good father to my child. so if that were the case, i really like this girl and i think she likes me back, we were holding hands the other day and after a while she let go of my hand, she knows i have a girlfriend, so thats why she hasnt really \"given-in\" so to speak.", "summary": "i have a pregnant girlfriend who i was about to leave, met a girl i like who sorta likes me back, internet peeps you are more helpful that my real world friends, you speak your mind truthfully."} {"id": "t3_iedkt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My roommates have terrorized me for 2 years; I'm finally moving in August. Reddit, what flawless victory prank should I attempt as a final goodbye?", "post": "For 2.5 years I've lived with two guys who make your roommates look like nuns. They are both late twenties and early thirties, cousins, 18 years old in maturity, and surprisingly good friends of mine. In fact, one is a Redditor and I hope he knows the terror that awaits him. We are great friends outside of the home but the internal strain is too much to stomach. They stay up until wee hours of the morning (4 am last night), talk loud and get drunk, disregard my personal things, eat my food, get stoned and leave the gas stove on, give house keys to co-workers, use my body wash and shampoo, forget to pay me for bills, forget to buy communal household items, NEVER clean anything EVER, leave bacon grease all over the kitchen, assume the dishes do themselves, bitch about the lawn guy but never pick up the yard, and put beer boxes on my dog as a \"joke\". We've had guests at our house clean the toilets before because the boys refused to and I held out. \n\nThey have made waking up in the morning a nightmare. What food will be gone this time? Will the kitchen stink and have a fine sheen of grease? What new and interesting way can I say, \"You are disrespecting me and my money, please stop\"? Well, I'm moving out in August and our subtle prank war needs to be won. I will be safely out of harms reach in the north, so I plan to exact the ultimate revenge while hearing of their pain on my flight out. \n\nI need the Reddits advice on how to serve these boys something awful without a) damaging the rental property, b) damaging their personal property, and c) making the house a disaster for the new tenant. I'm thinking along the lines of injecting exlax into their food, baby powder in their sugar, or nair in the shaving cream. \n\nSo, what's your best \"get bent\" prank? Any tips on giving the proverbial middle finger? I want to say, \"I love you guys, but no one fucks with me and gets away with it.\"", "summary": "My friends are the worst roommates I've ever had. What can I do to get back at them without damaging any personal or rental property?"} {"id": "t3_2kkd0z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "After a passionate but seemingly doomed year, my ex (26f) broke up with me (27m), but now my situation has changed.", "post": "I've been in Korea for 3 years. started dating smart, independent Korean girl Summer '13. She needed support and intimacy, and I was there to provide it. It got very passionate. We grew very close (basically living together), but a few months after she found a job she broke up with me.\n\nHer reasons were 'falling out of love with me' and 'feeling that (I) would always end up back in America.' \n\nHowever, I'm becoming fluent in Korean and plan to take a Master's program out here. I feel if I expressed this to her earlier, she would have had fewer doubts and we would not have broken up.\n\nI maintained contact and we even had a post breakup 'date' with holding hands and a lot of physical contact. But a week later she ended up in what looks like a rebound relationship. I lost it, appologized, and she said she let it go. I emailed her asking of there was any room left for reconciliation. But she said it was time to move on. From then on (about a week) I've done NC\n\nIm trying to move on now, and am dating again, preparing for my future, etc. But, I'm wondering if its a good idea after taking a few months and seeing where I'm at try to open things up again.", "summary": "Pre break-up there were some doubts about the long term. Now that we've broken up I feel that I'm in a place that would have made long-term more viable. Is it worthwhile to reconnect in a few months?"} {"id": "t3_jtazp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How should I give advice to my little sister?", "post": "I'm 25, my sister is 12. She's getting to the age where she's coming to me for advice on stuff that she doesn't always want to talk to her parents about, i.e. crushes on boys. \nShe texted me today about a problem involving a specific boy that called her a bitch and stole her food. So while his actions were completely disrespectful and that should be brought to his attention.....I *do* remember how 12-year-old boys acted around girls they had a crush on. My sister has a crush on this boy and so my suggestion to her was to talk to him candidly and find out what motivated him to say and do those things to her. I told her that opening up dialogue was important. \n \nShe then told me that our dad has explicitly barred her from talking to this boy at school. Firstly, I think it's absurd that he would do this because it's not solving any problems. Secondly, I'm kind of astounded that she's just going along with it. When I was 12, if someone told me not to do something, I would do the opposite. \nThis definitely isn't the first time where I've tried to give her advice but it runs in (somewhat) contradiction to what my father has told her to do and then I end up getting in trouble for something.", "summary": "I try to get my little sister to solve her problems by talking to people, my father tells her what to do."} {"id": "t3_2lq3jn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my roommate and former friend[21/M]....how to deal with not including him when hanging out", "post": "Basically, there were like five of us dudes freshman year, all good friends. Sophomore year came around, three of them met girls, and ditched us for them.\n\nSo that left me and one other guy to build a new social life. Let's call him Chris. Now, two of the other dudes just kinda stopped hanging out with us. However, one of them (let's call him Austin) was a total dick. Basically, he fell head over heels for the first girl that ever kissed him and became dependent on her and was an asshole. He did not respect anyone's boundaries and stopped hanging with us for this girl, so we ditched him.\n\nHowever, I have roomed with Austin since junior year. Because I did not room with any of the guys sophomore year, I had no drama around me and him, but I knew everything. We are nice to each other, but are not friends, just roommates. He has been on good terms with Chris, but they don't hang out. Because why should we? He was a total asshole then. We basically have new social lives.\n\nThing is with Austin, he has no more friends. Just his girl, and she has no friends. Much of my social circle is the same, and he knows a lot of them as he used to hang out with them. But we are no longer friends really, he's done enough in the past where it's like, why should we ever invite him?\n\nBut, is it wrong of me to have those people over before going out and then not include him? I feel bad, because some nights, he definitely wants to go out. We're all having beers, like people he used to be friends with. And he'll join us then. But then we leave for the night and he's all alone. I feel bad, but he has made no effort to hang out with us since meeting the girl AND has not apologized at all (some things he did do deserve multiple apologies). \n\nIs it wrong of me to have people over with him here and not include him?", "summary": "Me and a former friend are roommates. He was/is a dick. Should I feel guilty about not including him and having our same old friends over?"} {"id": "t3_4azuqc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28F] with my friend [38M], he's dealing with some pretty bad depression, and it's making him to be a really unpleasant person.", "post": "I'll try to keep this short.\n\nI have a friend who's dealing with some really bad depression. The thing is...it's a pretty miserable experience hanging out with him. He complains about everything. He talks about himself constantly, no matter how often you try to change the subject. He yells in public, A LOT (see: complaining about everything). He's not fun to hang out with at all.\n\nI think I would be able to handle him better if I was all right, but I'm actually in a really bad state of depression myself. I'm dealing with a lot of feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing. And when I'm hanging out with a guy who talks about himself constantly and complains about almost everything, including stuff he knows I like? Not exactly good for my mental health.\n\nBut he asks me to hang out with him, a lot. I don't know how to say no. I keep telling him that my depression is making it difficult to socialize (which honestly isn't entirely true. I can easily hang out with my other friends. That actually helps my depression).\n\nDo I keep making excuses? Do I suck it up and hang out with him? Do I tell him the truth?", "summary": "My friend is depressed, and so am I. I don't like hanging out with him, but he keeps asking me. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_4b4fyb", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (23F) am hurt that my boyfriend (25M) doesn't keep to his word/doesn't do anything for me.", "post": "I'm frustrated to the point where I don't even want to have sex with him. I'm unhappy with my life in general, and it is snow balling into not liking him as well.\n\nAnyways, for Valentine's Day (I was his first girlfriend on this day....) he didn't do shit for me. Even though he knew I was making him dinner and dessert and getting him a gift. He just started a job. So I assumed and was ok with him not giving me a gift until he got paid. He said he would the next time he got paid.\n\nI was still hurt he didn't do anything for VDay, not even a card. I told him this and he felt bad. \n\nFast forward, and I asked if he could romance me a few weekends ago. He said for sure and I gave him some tips and he Said he didn't need coaching.\n\nYesterday I tried to talk to him about my frustrations, and he pretty much said he doesn't know how much better he can treat me/what he can do he doesn't have a \"red carpet\" and he has bills to pay. \n\nYet he goes out and spends $60 on videos games pretty regularly...\n\nIn not expecting to be showered with gifts, but it's hurting me that he doesn't seem to be very giving and he says he loves me.", "summary": "boyfriend says he will do things, doesn't do them. Doesn't buy gifts or anything yet spends frivolously on himself"} {"id": "t3_nul6c", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what is your biggest \"Oh shit, I'm F&#^$%\" Story?", "post": "I'll start. \n\nA few weeks ago, me and the fam were putting up lights on the house for the holidays. While on the roof, I was leaning over one of the highest parts of my house and trying to hang a line of lights on some trimming. Because of how the roof was designed and what not, I had to lean out quite a bit, and not being afraid of heights I was being way to careless in the whole process. As I leaned over, I sort of started to slide of head first, and at the last second was able to grab on to the ledge and work my way back up. It would have been a good 30 or so ft fall head first. First thing that went through my mind as it happened was, \"Oh shit, I'm fucked.\"", "summary": "Basically almost fell 30 ft off my roof head first while trying to put up Christmas lights, and barely managed to catch myself."} {"id": "t3_1kyeoc", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Leave TV on all night? Minimal choices the next day.", "post": "So my youngest sister has a habit of sleeping on the couch in the living room so she can watch T.V. as long as she wants. About a week ago my grandmother had to spend the night with us, and my sister was an absolute brat! She had the T.V. blaring, easily heard all throughout the house and especially in the room my grandmother was sleeping in. So I would tell her to turn it down. She'd turn it down by an interval of 1. That helps nothing. Multiple times I told her, and each time she would complain, saying she already turned it down and I was being unfair. Finally I told her that it had to be on 15 (it was on 30) or I was going to turn it off. Cue bitch fest about how she can't hear it if its that low (pardon? you are literally 2ft away from the T.V. I know you can hear it just fine). But after making more threats, she finally turned it down. Although I'm pretty sure that after I went to bed she turned it back up. Brat.\n\nSo this incident has been festering in my mind for a couple days. Should I get her back? Is it really worth the trouble of her complaining all day? Then the last 3 nights she's left the T.V. on all night at a volume I can hear from my room. Time for some petty revenge. This morning, as she's fast asleep on the couch, I took all the remotes (T.V. DVD and Satellite) from all the rooms and hid them. This means that if she wants to watch a show, she literally cannot change the channel because you have to have a remote to do that (no buttons to push on the box or anything). So whatever channel was on last night is the only channel she can watch today. If I was thinking, I would have changed it to a documentary channel or something educational. It also means that if she wants to watch a movie she has to get up and manually do it, which really only takes 2x as long to do but I know her lazy ass wont.", "summary": "My sister is a brat and leaves the T.V. blaring each night. I take the remotes and hide them so she can't watch T.V. as easily."} {"id": "t3_xc0mb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How does a 53 year old man start a new life?", "post": "My dad is about to turn 53 next month. I love him with every ounce of my existence, and tonight everything really snapped into reality. \n\nMy father started his construction and home improvement company with his own hands. He taught me everything I know today, I've never met someone who has as much knowledge in everyday life, and in his field of work. We live in a house we use to be able to afford, now that the economy and overall income has diminished there's no work for people like him. He gets a job about once a month to keep the lights on and food on the table. I help him when I can but I'm about to be 22 next month also (we share the same birthday) and I'm moving away from home to try to make enough money to survive on my own. He told me tonight that he hasn't paid our mortgage in almost two years. Now I know everyone else is pretty much going through this but how the hell am I suppose to face that? I honestly feel like it's my fault and he's making me feel like I'm abandoning him more or less. My father cant start a new career now because we're broke and I can't afford the house, what do I do?\n\nReddit I'm not asking for anything more than advice, if you can give me that I'd appreciate it.", "summary": "My home is going to be foreclosed on, my fathers business fell apart, and I feel like it's my fault"} {"id": "t3_135g15", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My best friend openly admits that she enjoys hurting men and believes she will never be able to stay with anyone. What advice should I give her?", "post": "I wasn't sure whether or not this was for this sub or for /r/relationships but I figured there's no relationship involved so what the hell.\n\nWe are both 20, and ever since I can remember she has always loved leading guys on and then dropping them at the last minute or doing something stupid to hurt them. She privately agreed with me that this was just something that she enjoys doing more than she enjoys being in a relationship. She told me that she doesn't want to be this way but she just can't help how she feels. I should probably also add that she's been with most of the guys in our circle of friends and completely screwed with their heads at one point or another.\n\nI used to get mad at her but no I realise that she knows how lonely she is, and doesn't know how to get over this desire to break hearts. Personally, I reckon it started with her first boyfriend Jack when she was 14. She was besotted with him, and shared her first kiss with him... then a week or so later he told her face to face that he had made out with his friend's little sister at a party. He said that he wasn't sorry/guilty, and he pretty much meant it. He's still a dick.\n\nAll of this being said, I really don't know how to help her any more than she knows how to help herself. It's preventing her from having a normal relationship with anyone to the extent that when she likes someone and he likes her, she does nothing about it because she is so scared she will be the same as always and hurt him.\n\nWhat can I do?", "summary": "my friend is a heart-breaker and plays the part of being a bitch even when I know she's really not like that at all. How can I convince her to change?"} {"id": "t3_3oyun0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29f], husband [31m] losing weight fast, obsessed with weightloss products, suspended from work over Internet use (regarding this), is there any future in our relationship?", "post": "I'm on a throwaway, since my sister has an account here.\n\nNewlywed, been married 6 months now. For the past 6 weeks, my husband's been losing weight, he's been refusing to eat, or eats very little, spends hours on the 'net reading about weight loss treatments or how to lose weight.\n\nHe was suspended from work on Tuesday for 2 weeks for misuse of Internet, he admitted to buying weightloss drugs online, using the company Internet, he's got to go into a meeting on Monday to discuss this.\n\nHis libido seemsto have gone, doesn't want sex, just spends hours and hours exercising, sits obsessing on the iPad over weight loss treatments, has even worn one of my bikinis whilst taking selfies - he claims its so he can see his weight loss in action. I found 20 selfies of him in a pink bikini of mine.\n\nI asked him last night why he's so into this weight loss and he said \"I'm fat, fat, faaaat, I'M A fat idiot who needs to lose some weight, I stink, I suck at being good, if you know what I mean.\"\n\nI think he means being healthy when he talks about being good.\n\nThen I asked him if he'd go for counselling with me and he said \"God, no, counselling, they're just trying to push their views on you about being fat. Its a con.\"\n\nI found him online at 8 this morning using our credit card to order some Cialis and weightloss pills, we argued over it and he told me \"i'm fat youre gonna fucking lose it that i used our credit card but what the hell.\"\n\nI feel like his weight loss and obsession with losing weight is turning him into someone else and am not likeing it.\n\nSo, any advice on how to deal with this further?\n\nI know i could divorce him, but isnt it too early, and marriage has bad times as well as good to work through?\n\nNeeding help... and its welcomed a lot!", "summary": "Husband obsessed with weight loss, spends hours obsessing over it, I think he has body issues, he wont go to counselling."} {"id": "t3_2z3rg0", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "My schoolmates have my underage pictures", "post": "Context: I'm a 15 year old male from Singapore (I don't need specific legal advice, anything general will do). Recently, I took some shots of my body to keep track of my gym progress, some just shirtless and some in my undies. I uploaded them onto an account on Instagram which I thought I privatized and unlinked (my mistake). Apparently, one of my schoolmates screenshotted my pictures and has spread them around my school and it has now reached other schools. Is what he committed an offence? I may be planning to take action against him for bullying and possibly defamation. Any advice? Thank you in advance.", "summary": "my schoolmate has some pictures of me (15M) in my underwear and has spread them. what can I do?"} {"id": "t3_31zfsq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] ex girlfriend [21 F] confusing as fuck.", "post": "Bit of background, dating for over a year. Her friends disliked me from the start. Constantly called her boring, had changed, made a mistake since being with me etc. \n\nThey constantly made this known to her along with their massive disapproval, but she was very much happy with me. \nOut of the blue she broke up with me but the reasons she gave were twisted versions of those which her friends had berated her for. \n\nI.e She said I stopped her going out, which was never the case in fact I always encouraged it. Her friends always said she was now boring for not going out all the time with them. Now it's my fault. \n\nHer friends, or as I see, aren't the nicest of people. They go out get drunk but leave people behind if they get to bad; just leave them. They would go out, with my now ex, but just leave her by herself so they could go hook up with people making her feel like crap. Actively tried to encourage her to do drugs with them despite countless times of saying no. \n\nBack to breakup. Break up came out of the blue, we hardly argued and never had any of the problems been brought up before. \nPost break up, we've argued but ofc she's sticking her foot down but saying she's \"not being stubborn\" but hey ho. \n\nThe confusing part: She tells me how she misses all the little things I did for her, she is scared for when I move on and do those things for someone else instead. She doesn't know how not to love me and that is now a bad thing. \n\nI don't understand any of what's really going on.", "summary": "F(21) broke up with me M(23) on some convoluted reasons and now is confusing me with regret type comments."} {"id": "t3_4s7v76", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ex-girlfriend[26F]with who I live broke up with Me [22M] two days ago for her ex. I now saw them both home. I am going insane.", "post": "Me and my girlfriend lived with each other for 2 years. About a 4 weeks ago she told me that she wants to meet with her ex [who left her for HIS [reboud ex] as friends, and that she did not see him for four years.\nI should have said no right then, but I didnt want to seem like a controlling person.\nNow she broke up with me. Basically on last Saturday she told me she doesnt love me, but she wants to keep trying for a few months. Naturally I agreed, as I still very much love her. Now on Friday she said she wants to quit. Now it is Saturday [week since she told me she doesnt love me] and I came home to find her and the deucheshigfuckingcockbag in her room.\n\nNow the worst part is, that I still live here. I have a bedroom where all my stuff [computer] is and I live in this cave. Why dont I leave you ask? Well moving out is not a easy process, esecially before a payday [monthly here]and she owns me money.\n\nShe ows me a large sum of money, to which we had agreed that will be payed by rent [I will live here, I will not pay rent until the debt is settled].\n\nAs working night shifts only, I do not know how to exist during the night, especially now that I hear them moving over the apartment. It is the worst I have ever felt in my life.\n\nWhat also makes me very sad is that the breakup came incredibly fast. Not a week ago we were in a Zoo and had a great day. And now she dumps we. We had a quaint relashionship, almost no arguments, etc.", "summary": "Gf met with her ex, then dumped me and two days after she dumped me she has him over. I still live with her."} {"id": "t3_2p4bgx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by Appropriating Myself a Writing Utensil", "post": "It was the year 2014, December 12, and more importantly the day when I fucked up. Honestly, this fuck-up was mixture of complete stupidity with a hint of ignorance, in my opinion. So, I strolled into my class punctually and without any real problem. I laid my stuff down at my seat and the teacher told us to meet them at the computer lab which was conveniently next door. The class was instructed to bring a sheet of notebook paper and a pen, and only a pen. This class does not allow you to use pencils which is a total pain in the ass. I digress, so being the \"smart\" guy that I am I decide to look through the well-supplied pencil pouch that occupied the seat next to me. I took a blue \"pen\" and continued on. I knew the owner of that \"pen\" and she's one of those \"thorn in my arse\" kinda girls so I thought that the annoyance wouldn't be that much worse.\n\nClass happened. Page of notes, pen wrote weird, didn't think nothing of it, no problems. It wasn't until after class where things went... sour.\n\nSo after class, being the smug bastard that I am (borderline stupid), I decided to do the gentlemanly thing and hand it back to her personally. You see, the thing is, apparently that \"pen\" was a colored pencil specifically bought from the internet which was stressed to have been very expensive. I knew hell hath no fury but shit, the second I felt like a total dickhead was when I knew I fucked up.", "summary": "Dumbass steals \"pen\". Dumbass returns \"pen\". Dumbass feels like a douche for using the \"pen\". Not too interesting."} {"id": "t3_1icj6c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How can I [18f] get my boyfriend [20m] to start working out again?", "post": "We've been together for 6 months, Thursday is the half year mark, and it's been absolutely amazing so far. I find him extremely attractive, sweet, caring, etc. He's wonderful. \n\nHe was a varsity wrestler in high school and he was one of the best. He was, therefore, really in shape. However, he hasn't really worked out in two years and even though he's still really physically attractive, the beautifully sculpted muscles are starting to go away. I'm not a fan of that. \n\nI'm not going to love him any less if he loses it even more, but I'd like him to start working out again, because my goodness lord will my ovaries explode for him, and it's also really healthy.\n\nHe watches a lot of anime and plays a decent amount of league of legends, so he's on the computer a lot. He also works five days a week, 8 hrs a day. \n\nI've brought up multiple times that I want him to start working out again but he doesn't want to because \"it's too much work\" and he's \"lazy\". I've sent him pictures of physical fit men and expressed how I find them attractive, still nothing. \n\nAny ideas?", "summary": "I already find my boyfriend very attractive, but he's been in better shape. I'd like him to start working out again to be in his prime physical state for attractiveness and health reasons, but he doesn't seem to want to."} {"id": "t3_2vizfo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23F] have been messaging a guy from Twitter [29M] for about two weeks, I have a boyfriend [26M] of 3.5 years", "post": "Hello Reddit. I'm confused about something and I need your opinion. ]\n\nI've been with my boyfriend since September 2011, we've been through a lot of ups and down, a few breakups, most recent lasted from November 2014 to early January. We have many issues I won't detail here. \n\nThe issue that's been confusing me is that I've been DMing with this guy on twitter who lives in the same city. We don't know each other IRL, but we've been chatting A LOT. We don't actively flirt. We don't even know what we look like (his avi is a blurry partial B&W selfie, mine is a picture of my back and hair). We keep it friendly, and nothing inappropriate has come out of our long chats. We message back and forth multiple times a day for about an hour/more. I think he once hinted at moving our conversations away from twitter, and I politely refused. \n\nWe talk about music, science, society, joke around... No opportunity has come up for me to tell him I have a boyfriend and I think it's odd to just blurt it out. My boyfriend doesn't know. \n\nI should add the Twitter guy's personality is a carbon copy of my boyfriend's (but a bit better in regards to temper, tantrums...). I feel confused about the whole thing; I don't know if it's wrong or not. What are your thoughts?", "summary": "Have boyfriend. Been DMing with a guy I've never seen IRL for a while. Confused -- What are your thoughts?"} {"id": "t3_woyxa", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17/F] Just not wanting to fuck things up.", "post": "So, where do I start with this? Agh. Well, first off, let me tell you a little about myself. I'm TERRIBLY shy when it comes to romance. Shy to a fault, and it has fucked up things for me in the past. I really hate it and it's something I have yet to get over. I've never really had a real relationship. But as of this summer, I've made it a point to try to meet new people and be a generally more social person. If any of you know the site MeetMe... I have been using that to meet some new people. I didn't really have that many expectations for the site and I've met quite a few douchebags. However, recently I went to see a movie with... let's call him.. Terry. He was the nicest person I've met so far! We seem to actually have some stuff in common and yeah, he's cute. :P But I fear that I may have gave another bad first impression.. I'm really great at doing that. People mistake my awkwardness for snootiness. We hung out two days ago. I haven't really heard from him since except for he called me yesterday but I was napping so I didn't pick up. I called him back and sent him a text message, but no reply. So I honestly have no idea what to do now. I think there's actual potential here and that doesn't happen very often for me. I just would kind of like to know.. what the fuck do I do? Should I text him? Make plans? And if we hang out again, how can I maybe show I'm interested? How do I tell if he's interested? \nSorry if that was painful to read, but I'd really appreciate any help from you redditors. :) Thanks a ton.", "summary": "I just met a guy and we've hung out once. He seems cool, but I'm awkward as fuck. Reddit, what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1im275", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [21M] get my \"friend\"[22F] to sleep over again", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nTo make this story short, I have this \"friend\" whom I've been seeing on/off lately. We've hooked up about a few times now, and all of these times she ended up staying and sleeping over. I do not yet know if I am interested in pursuing something more with this girl, but we're both just having fun for now. \nAnyways, a few days ago, I asked her to hang out this Saturday night, but she said she won't be able to come out due to family obligations in the evening. I do still want her to stay over though. How do I best convey this without sounding too direct or too rude?", "summary": "How to I politely ask a girl I've been having fun with to sleep over when she won't be able to hang out that night."} {"id": "t3_148gpa", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I (F19) start the process of moving out of my house?", "post": "So I'll try to keep this simple. My freshman year of college my parents were going to pay for me to live on campus but I decided to stay home the first year in order to save money for the next year so I could live in an apartment. Well my parents went from complete support my freshman year to \"we will help you out but you need to pay some of it\" after the second semester of my freshman year, I was fine with that. Now I'm about to complete the first semester of my sophomore year and my parents told me that I have to completely support myself and that they WILL NOT be helping me at all. \n\nThe problem is I have no boundaries in this house. I can't go out and do what I want without being questioned, I can't come and go as I please (like coming home at 3 A.M.) without being accused of doing immoral things or my dad getting angry. My parents are pretty religious so they think I'm out partying or doing things they don't agree with, which I might be but its still annoying to have to be lectured and I want to experience things in my life. I just want freedom and I understand the financial responsibility that comes with moving into an apartment but I already have someone I would like to move in with. I have a job that doesn't pay a ton but I have a second one I could pick up no problem. I'm just tired of being smothered.\n\nSo I guess my question is how do I start the moving out process like saving money or is there a loan I could take out to provide housing funds. Also I would like to hear about other people's experience moving out in college, how your life was different and if you would suggest me moving or toughing it out for a little bit.", "summary": "I have no boundaries in my house and I don't have much freedom. Have a job but parents aren't supportive of me moving out unless I take care of it myself. How do I start gathering the means to do this?"} {"id": "t3_ikamx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I recently applied for an apartment in NYC and was charged $100 for a credit check that was seemingly never performed. Can I contest the application fee? Any real estate lawyers out there that can help me?", "post": "I recently applied for an apartment for which the application fee ($100/person) covered a credit check and processing paperwork.\nMe and my roommate both have guarantors and since they are considered applicants as well the total application fee we paid was $400. We were kept waiting to hear back if we were approved for a week. When we contacted the management office they continued to tell us everything was in order and our application looked great. Eventually after a week we were told that the unit had been taken and basically given to a \"stronger applicant\". When asked if our application was denied/rejected the broker said no and that the application fee can be put towards another unit but cannot be refunded as a credit check had been performed and our paperwork had be \"processed\" towards the afore mentioned unit. I am currently enrolled for credit monitoring services with both my bank (which monitors all three major credit bureaus) and Equifax. I noted that an inquiry was NOT made in the entire month of June on their behalf.\n\nMe and my roommate went on to apply for another apartment for which we received approval within an hour after turning in our guarantors and our paperwork and a notice of credit inquiry a day after the application was submitted. However, in the process of turning in paperwork for this subsequent apartment we were asked to submit a CPA letter and letter of employment which the initial broker/management company DID NOT request and supposedly \"processed\" our application without. \n\nLast but not least the second broker we worked with offered us a New York state broker disclosure form - ( That he said was required of brokers to clarify that they were working for the tenants/renters and not the building management/owner. This was never offered by the initial Broker.", "summary": "I paid an apartment application fee for an apartment and 1.my credit was never checked 2. required paperwork was not requested or filed for my application. What are my rights for a refund?"} {"id": "t3_4sq3os", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [25m] won't brush his damned teeth. I'm [22f]", "post": "My boyfriend just doesn't care about brushing his teeth. His teeth are rotting, he has several cavities. And his breath is horrid in the morning, more than the average persons. I refuse to kiss him when his breath is like that and it hurts his feelings. But it tastes so gross. I havve told him why i hate it, and i asked him how would he feel if he could taste what seems like vomit in my mouth every time he kissed me. I have to pester him and basically be a mom to him until he brushes his teeth. If I'm lucky i can get him to do it once a day several hours after waking up.\n\nHe didnt used to be like this but depression + not taking care of yourself will sometimes have tis effect on people and their teeth. I get it. But goddamn it, I want to be able to kiss him and not feel sick. \n\nJust last night i told him to brush his teeth before bed, but he had already laid down and said \"But I'm comfortable. I can do it tomorrow.\" When he woke up, his breath was horrid as usual and i asked him to brush his teeth. He said sure but was trying to snuggle and his face was near me and his breath is just dreadful. I covered up his mouth with the blanket, he turned over and started pouting, saying i was being mean, and went back to sleep after ignoring me.\n\nIm tired of this. His has tooth decay and i just want him to at least brush his teeth since his work makes it difficult for him to get to a dentist. Im not sure what im looking for here. I just want some assurance that I'm not being unreasonable here. He doesn't get that I hate the smell and I do not like kissing him when his breath is bad and it tastes like shit. I love him dearly. This is literally the only complaint I have.", "summary": "my boyfriend wont brush his teeth and i think its gross. He thinks im just being mean, and just doeesnt see my side of it"} {"id": "t3_js65s", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "On 2 year anniversary GF didn't show appreciation other than verbally", "post": "Now I am not trying to be a materialist, just having her in my presence is enough of a gift to me. But anyways here is what happened. \n\nMy SO of 2 years and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary last night. She lives with me and I know that she is tight for cash (she is having trouble finding work in her field after graduating college and I cover all the bills). I wasn't expecting much from her in way of any gifts, but I still expected something to show she appreciated me, either a Painting (She is a very talented artist) or some other home made gesture. I was gone the weekend leading up to Monday so it isn't like she didn't have the time to make anything.\n \nWell anyways, I get home and take her out to a fancy dinner, and she didn't get me anything at all. She said she felt bad she didn't get me anything however I feel like she just didn't care enough to get me anything or do anything to show how much she appreciates me being here for her. \n\nI am unsure how to handle the situation. If I bring it up to her I feel like I would be looking like a complete asshole, but if I don't say anything I feel like I am being a complete pushover.", "summary": "My SO didn't do anything to show affection for our 2 yr anniversary and I don't know how to confront her about it"} {"id": "t3_2gzf7r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] with my long distance GF [20F] are having communication issues after one month", "post": "My girlfriend was a very close friend of mine in high school. There was always something there, but we never initiated anything until summer of 2013. We had a little fling, and we stopped talking after I had the wrong idea about where it was going. \n\nWe started talking again this summer, and I went to hang out with her while she was in our hometown. Nothing happened, no kissing or anything of the sort. All we did was bake brownies and watch the world cup. It was magical, and we reconnected. We then started talking for the next month as she went overseas to visit her dad. We would talk all of the time about everything and nothing. \n\nI planned to visit her at her school, and we spent a total of 12 days together, after which we decided that we would try a committed relationship. \n\nThings were great, but recently, she has stopped talking to me as frequently. She cites her phone as being the issue, as the bottom of the phone does not respond to touch. She is getting a new phone soon, and I hope that will help, but neither of us are convinced that communication will go back up, mainly because she could communicate through her laptop if she wanted to. \n\nMy biggest hang up is that I feel that we are losing the initial spark, but maybe we are just transitioning from the \"honeymoon phase.\"\n\nI was wondering if anyone had any advice about what we should do to recreate that spark, or advice for me to deal with having less immediate communication like I am used to. I have visited her once a couple weeks ago, and I will be visiting her again in two weeks. We go to colleges that are a flight away, but my financial situation and airline mileage is such that it is not a problem.", "summary": "long term friend turned girlfriend are having initial long distance issues, and I am trying to discover ways to improve the situation for both of us."} {"id": "t3_2b4tfe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] Will be required to make friends if I want to do research at university but I'm going into a new dorm so I'm not sure what to do", "post": "I got the email from the housing department telling me what dorm I will be in (single because of my disability, new building from last semester) and I won't know any of the people there. \n\nI also got off the phone with my therapist at the school (he's the head of the counseling center and on the student behavioral review committee and probably other things) and he said that the most important thing for me was first grades (but he's not worried about those) and second, making friends, and that he would be talking to my professors to not let me do research until he has confirmation that I have friends because I need to be devoting all my effort to that. \n\nI don't know what kind of research I wanted to do I'm Computer science and engineering and I know a couple programming languages and higher mathematics but.....it doesn't matter but there was probably something for me that I could have done but now I can't because I need to find some fake friends first. I spend almost all my time on the internet asking about how to make friends and when I'm not on the internet I'm trying...to do so. I never made any success last semester (except when I sold some stuff so people pretended to like me) and I don't know anyone at this new place... I really really want to do research but I'm not sure if I'll be allowed to because of this. \n\nI'm going to be realistic and say I probably can't make friends so if I can't figure that out is he even allowed to do this? Can he bar me from working with my professors? \n\nTHings I tried last semester: Clubs, events, leaving my door open, Mario party with my door open, interacting with humans on the way to class, interacting with humans on the way from class, interacting with humans before class, creating a study group that I lead, joining more clubs, changing my wardrobe, getting a haircut, working out (somethign something iron church gainz) and probably a lot of other things I don't remember.", "summary": "I need to make friends as soon as I get to university and I don't know how. Barring my inability to make friends I need to figure out if there is a way to stop my therapist there from doing this."} {"id": "t3_308icm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my Fiancee [20 F] 10 months, she accidentally sent a short 15 second nude video to one of her guy friends when the video was originally intended for me.", "post": "This happened three days ago. We are both in the military and she got deployed 3 times since our relationship started. Lets call her Sheila. Her deployments don't last for more than a month so she is away again for the third time and she gets back this sunday. \nWhenever she gets deployed we usually exchange nude pics over her deployment period. So this time around i decided to send Sheila a short 15 sec nude video of me and in return she did the same thing. \n\nOnly problem is that Sheila didn't only send it to me but also Mark(fake name). By what Sheila told me, Mark is a nice guy and good friend of hers. Mark also happens to live on the same base we do. She started panicking and thought that our relationship was over cus she thought Mark was gonna publicize her video and that i was gonna think Sheila was cheating on me. Sheila calls me and tells me what happened and i believe her and try to calm her down by telling her that I'm not ending our relationship over that. \n\nSheila then tells me to get in contact with Mark and talk to him about it which i do. i go talk to Mark and I'm polite about it and the guy tells me he disregarded it as a fb scam or just a mistake from Sheila and he said he deleted it and that won't talk to anyone about it. i tell this to Sheila over the phone of course and she says she is relieved but i know she still feels a certain way about it. \n\nThis happened 3 days ago and Sheila gets back in 4 days and i know she will feel embarrassed and maybe awkward so i wanna know what to tell her so she gets over this ordeal that is probably driving her crazy out there in the field. \nIs there something i can tell her over text to put her at ease a little and what else can i do when she gets back to help her get over this issue. \n\nSorry this is my first time doing this, i hope i explained myself.", "summary": "Fiancee accidentally sent a short nude video to her guy friend when it was intended for me. Need advice on how to reassure her and have her not panic over this knowing that the guy won't public her video."} {"id": "t3_3npt62", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] accidentally got my girlfriend [19F] pregnant and she doesn't want an abortion. Looking for advice.", "post": "I made a mistake and got my girlfriend of 2.5 years pregnant. For a bit of background, we have a great relationship, despite our distance - seeing each other is more of a monetary issue, costing about \u00a320-30. She is at University and I am attending College. We usually see each other once or twice a month.\n\nWe got the news today. We are both in shock and don't know what our next step should be. \n\nWe have discussed what we would do if she accidentally got pregnant earlier in our relationship. We have our differences in what to do, I believe due to various factors (money, distance, still being in education) we should have an abortion, however my girlfriend believes she will never get over an abortion. I respect her stance completely and will not push this choice. She doesn't like the idea of putting the child up for adoption.\n\nSo what should we do next? \n\nHow can we keep the relationship going while mitigating the damage this may cause? \n\nWhat would life be like juggling a child, a relationship, an education and a job?\n\nThank you for reading.", "summary": "Girlfriend of 2.5 years accidentally pregnant, abortion not an option, she doesn't like the sound of adoption. Need to know what to do."} {"id": "t3_gqgjj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Putting instincts back into desensitized animals", "post": "Hey Reddit,\n\nToday when I got home from work, there was a little rabbit to the side of my parking spot. I go to school in a city where what 'wildlife' is there is pretty desensitized. I pulled up to the rabbit, maybe within a foot or two, swing my door open, (maybe within a few inches of the rabbit,) and it doesn't even flinch.\n\nHere's where I got to thinking: The rabbit has clearly lost it's instincts, (or some of them.) I was wondering if it's better to ignore the rabbit, act like it's not there, (being in it's close proximity, further desensitizing it,) or to scare it. I'm wondering if scaring it would help, even the tiniest amount, to fight the loss of instincts, and help it be better prepared to deal with whatever predators it sees in the 'wild'.\n\nGranted, either action will likely make little difference in the life of the rabbit, unless I give it a heart attack or something.\n\nJust curious on everyone's thoughts on that.", "summary": "Is scaring a rabbit that has been desensitized by city life good, because it helps a rabbit regain it's instincts, or is it bad, just because you're being mean to a helpless little rabbit?"} {"id": "t3_2adcd2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21F] mum's [50F] boyfriend [49M] will be moving in before the year is out, I like him, but need advice on adjusting.", "post": "It's just been me, my mum and my little brother in the same house for 13 years, and my mum has been single most of that time. \n\nThis new boyfriend is a great guy, we've both had mental health problems so we can relate to each other (he doesn't mind if I have to go upstairs and hide, and I don't mind if he has to fiddle with the kitchen to appease his OCD). I've had lots of bad relationships with men so I'm super suspicious but he doesn't set off the dickhead radar at all! \n\nIn fact, me and my brother are the ones who suggested to them that he move in when the sale of his ex-wife's house goes through and mum was thrilled.\n\nWe have a large house, so there's room for us all to be private when needed. Me and the bro have always just done whatever we wanted so there won't be a bunch of new rules to follow. He's been totally open about the reason for his divorce (cheating wife). He doesn't mind our craziness, we do a lot of laughing and swearing and general tomfoolery (he's been alone for ages so he loves that) plus we're all super affectionate (me/mum/brother always kiss and cuddle and climb in mum's bed and tickle her etc) and he doesn't think that's weird or creepily join in or anything.\n\nThe only problem is that I have been raped, molested, been in abusive relationships and so forth. I know that I'm going to get my PTSD triggered by a man living here, whoever it is, whether I want to or not. How do I adjust to such a huge change? \n\nFor the record I'll be moving out in 2015/16 so it's not permanent for me, but for the time he's here it might be a challenge. \n\nAlso I claim disability for mental health problems so for the time being I'm at home 24/7 so It's not like I work evenings like I used to and will never see him.", "summary": "I like my mum's boyfriend. He likes us. We all want him to move in, but I'm going to find it hard to adjust to an adult male in the house..."} {"id": "t3_2gcva8", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by ruining House of Cards for myself", "post": "It's that time of the year where we all have mid-semester exams at\nuni so naturally i begin to start watching a TV show to keep myself occupied during ' study breaks '. \n\nI have all of the seasons of House of Cards downloaded and ready to go.\nAfter watching the first episode before bed, i was like damn this\nis pretty good shit.\n\nThe next day i watched the second episode and was slightly confused\nas to how certain things happened so fast however the show still made sense to me and i continued on until the 5th episode. As i was discussing an event of the show with my girlfriend she was like...wait ..didn't that happen in the second season ? In shock and disbelief i checked my folder to see that i was indeed watching the second season of HoC after watching the pilot. I apparently spoiled one of the biggest spoilers to go down in TV\nhistory. G f*cking G.", "summary": "After watching the 1st episode of Season 1, i mistakenly continued on with Season 2 for 5 more episodes and ruined the entire show for myself."} {"id": "t3_1ckpaq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I once told my teacher that my mom loved hitler without knowing what it meant. Reddit What dumb little kid decisions of your past make you cringe to this day?", "post": "Basically i was in 3rd-4th grade and i have ADHD so i was extremely hyper this particular day. The night before i watched the family guy episode when they have a flashback as Hitler but hes a talk show host. I thought this show was one of the ones my mom constantly watched when i was a kid i didnt know that it was only a joke on family guy and not an actual talk show. So when we were doing an activity about family members i told my teacher that my moms favorite thing to do was to \"watch hitler. She loves Hitler and all the things he says\"... my teacher then of course called my dad concerned that my mom was a neo nazi and then i got grounded for being a dumbass. Anyone want to make me feel better about my childhood of retardation?", "summary": "Told my teacher my mom was in love with hitler and listened to what he says all the time, but she doesnt."} {"id": "t3_24gpke", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I 18m am referred to as \"The mad bomber\" by my 20f girlfriend's parents and family/friends of parents for my ethnicity.", "post": "Hello.The title should tell you 80% of my situation.However i'll go into a little more detail;\n\nI'm 18 and i've been dating my 20 year old girlfriend for 1.3 years.\n\nMy girlfriends Dad,Dad's friends and cousins/possibly other people refer to me as \"The mad bomber\" These people are all between the ages of 30-50, so these are ADULTS.\n\nNone of those people say it infront of me, however whenever my girlfriend gets a call or hears something from any of them, it's not .. How is \"ABC\" it's \"How is the mad bomber\" Her dad told me not to wear a big jacket to dinner on the first day i met him.(Implying i could have explosives,haha .. so funny)\nOne of my parents is from Iraq,so naturally i look like an \"arab\"\n\nI don't follow islam, i'm polite and just a regularly well rounded person.\n\nI understand people are entitled to their opinions but i did nothing in the first place to these people that warrants being called a crazy terrorist.\n\nI am insecure enough as it is.I don't want to spend time around them/hear from them. Basically i don't want them in my life as racism even as a \"joke\" is not funny for me,i was bullied all throughout school for my family name,my genetics and skin color etc.. \n\nThat said,it's very hard to \"micro manage\" this situation.\n\nI was sitting next to my girlfriend,her dad calls. He sais,bla bla mad bomber bla bla.It hurts man.\n\nHow do i deal with this situation?\n\nI'm sorry that this is probably a small issue and not worth the post,but i have no other people to get advice from", "summary": "Gf's parents and friends of parents refer to me as \"The mad bomber\" It bothers me alot,what do i do?"} {"id": "t3_26edqd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] after [22F]- Commitment Issues", "post": "Hey so I've known this girl about a month now, shes really nice we like alot of the same things we get along well together, the first few weeks we talked alot hung out once just the two of us and twice with her friends at the bar we met at, one of the times her friend approached me and asked if I liked this girl and I said I did and I find her interesting, to which she replied that I should make a move and we didnt have this conversation\nWe got outside and I didnt really make a move but after a long hung we both sort of just went for a kiss and ended up making out, anyway since then a few things happened in her life, she was ill and her close friend ended up losing somebody etc, Ive been very understanding offering my support just as you should, one other time we hung out we sort of had a small heart to heart I told her about my ex and everything ive been dealing with and shes sorry ive been having to deal with that.\nI saw her out last night and we just generally chatted a little bit but she left because her and her friends were tired, I wanted to say to her face but because she left I couldnt so instead of just text her saying I thank her for being there to listen to me talk about my ex because its been hard and she said its fine shes everybodys vent at the moment, I went onto say thats not exactly what I meant I said that she actually cares and shes fantastic and its hard to find in people these days.\nShe went onto say that this is why she avoids ruining things, when I questioned her about that she simply said, she has commitment issues, so many of her friendships have been ruined from getting close, so she panics.\nIm just not sure where to go from her, shes the first person ive actually felt attracted to since my ex girlfriend, I think she does like me shes just afraid to make that next step incase it messes up another good friendship, any advice would be great!", "summary": "Boy meets girl, get along together, makeout, heart to heart, girl too afraid of commitment values friendship of friends alot, not sure if next step on the cards?"} {"id": "t3_2in55b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26M] with my new person of interest [23 or 24F], 2 weeks, possible soul mate, but it will surely be LDR and I don't know how I should approach.", "post": "I had a few kiddy relationships in high school and one terrible relationship in college which ended in 4 months when the partner decided to get back with her ex (you bitch...). I've been single for 3 years ever since. I'm a virgin by choice and want to keep it that way until marriage. Yeah... I'm old school, I know.\n\nI met this lady during a trip to a Buddhist temple about 500 miles away in another state. She's a foreign exchange student who studies psychology and lives nearby the temple. I saw her during the Sunday service and we exchanged only a few words, but as she and I made an eye contact later on that day I immediately felt my heart skip a bit and all my senses... reboot. No, I did not have a stroke, and I did never believe in love-at-first-sight thingies and thought all those movies and novels were full of shit... until that day. Even after returning from the temple, I couldn't stop pondering about her.\n\nFast forward 5 days. I get a friend request on Facebook from a stranger. It's her: Maybe she found me through the temple's fb group. Well, I don't care. I accept the request in a heartbeat. She starts talking to me. I start talking to her. Shy and awkward conversations quickly gain momentum, and we find out we have so much in common -- favorite musicians, movies, even lifestyle and goals. Nowadays we just continuously talk to each other. \n\nHowever, here are the bad news. Not only there currently are 2 states between me and her, she's an exchange student and is likely go back to her country once she graduates. Even if it works out, it'll inevitably be a long-distance, I mean hemispheric-distance relationship. I'm actually willing to do the LDR, but I'm not sure if she feels the same. At least she was curious enough to add me on fb...", "summary": "I found a possible soul mate, but she and I will surely be separated by gigantic distance. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_3ytaxb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "23/f i'm not ready to introduce my 35/m boyfriend to my family but I don't want him to take that the wrong way", "post": "We've been dating for just around a month now. Normally I wouldn't be worrying about this so early at all, but it has become sort of an issue and I'm not sure what to do.\n\nI have already met his family - he had a birthday recently and invited me out to dinner with them. They were all super nice and invited me for Christmas and even got me a gift, although I didn't visit them for the holidays because I was with my own family. \n\nNow I'm planning on visiting my folks soon on New Year's Day. They only live about an hour away and I know boyfriend wants to meet them. I don't feel ready for it. Part of it is that he is quite a bit older than me which in itself isn't an issue but I don't know how to broach that subject with my parents as I've never been in that situation before. He doesn't look that much older than me but I know they will ask, and I haven't even told them that I'm dating someone at all yet. I would feel like I'm springing it on them out of nowhere. I was somewhat worried that the age difference would get me weird looks from his family but it turns out his older brother is engaged to someone even younger than me so no one even batted an eye... so it's no wonder he didn't feel uncomfortable about it at all.\n\nMy parents also take me dating people pretty seriously and I wouldn't want to go through the rigmarole of introductions and then have things not work out. I'm not really super worried about that as things are going splendidly, but still. \n\nHow can I explain all this to him without seeming like it's just because I don't think things will work out? It's not really that at all, it just feels super soon to me. Is that unfair since he's been so open with his family about me? Should I just ignore my feelings and do it anyways?", "summary": "I feel like I'm being (unintentionally) pushed to introduce my boyfriend to my family too soon, but I don't know how to avoid it or if I even should avoid it"} {"id": "t3_2b4lcv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22M] Ex [22F] just asked me to be FWBs after we just reconnected after 3 years. I still love her.", "post": "So we broke up when I went to University. I hated breaking up with her but thought it was for the best for her sake as she couldn't deal with me being away at all. I have on year left and am home for the Summer, I posted on here before and was encouraged to reconnect with her.\n\nWe met up and it was amazing tbh. She messaged me after saying how great it was and that it felt just like old times. I realised that my feelings for her are still very much real. We then talked on FaceBook through to the early morning after she left (this was last night). We messaged constantly for a couple of days before meeting up.\n\nWell today she messaged me asking if I wanted to be FWBs with her. My problem is I still love her, shes still the same girl I fell in love with all those years ago and seeing her was just incredible. I don't know what to say.\n\nI kind of feel like shes saying this because she knows I still have to go away and do my final year of University (note, it requires a plane journey to visit). I can't just tell her I still have feeling for her because first of all I want to make sure I do that face to face, and secondly I don't know if shes ready to hear it yet. I really broke her heart, at first when we met up she couldn't even look at me she was so nervous. I don't want to scare her off.\n\nI have no idea what to say to her, or what to do.", "summary": "Reconnected with ex, it was incredible. Now she wants to be FWBs but I still have strong feelings for her and don't think I could handle being with her if she was with other guys at the same time."} {"id": "t3_1zfkbr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me, (23F) adopted at birth and birth mother (??F): anyone else with experience with birth parents who are looking to get in touch with them?", "post": "I was told when I was 11 that I was adopted at birth by my parents, and it's something I don't really think about. It's just very natural to me that the people who raised me are my parents, so I hardly thought about my birth parents.\n\nSo this week my birth mother found and got in contact with my mom. Informed her of some health problems she has that may be genetic, and said my half sister, apparently older, would like to chat with me sometime.\n\nIt hasn't hit me how I feel about it yet. I'm starting by looking objectively at the situation. I don't know anyone else who was adopted, so I don't have much experience with such a thing.\n\nIf you have any questions about my situation, feel free to ask. I just am not sure how much info is necessary, and my situation is relatively simple.", "summary": "Have any of you ever had an experience meeting birth parents later in life? Did you go through with meeting them? What was it like? What factors contributed to you wanting/not wanting to contact them?"} {"id": "t3_2mf3a0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My 22F bf of 1 year 23M is deadset on abortion being his option until he has a full time job. I dont know how yo feel.", "post": "To start off, I've miscarried before and I know the guilt and blame that comes from that, as well as the anger and the hate. So I have always been very anti-abortion. \n\nMy boyfriend and I met four years ago, and started dating last year. We are extremely compatible, except on this front. My stance is \"if you do the crime, you do the time\". And although I am on birth control and we use condoms, I still feel like knowing what would happen if the possibility ever arose is a good thing. The few times I've asked, he's been deadset on abortion. I myself have a full time job, and I make good money, but he's struggling and working at a fast food restaurant. He says that in order for him to be OK with a baby, he has to have the full time job. \n\nFrom one point of view, I can see why. Because I have to take unpaid maternity leave. But from the other hand, it begs the question, why would he risk having children just so they can be aborted? When discussing at length, he's made the choice clear- abort a baby, or lose him. And that seems very callous and ludicrous.", "summary": "not pregnant, but when talking about the future, boyfriend is deadset on abortion. Is this normal? It makes me sick just thinking about it."} {"id": "t3_kp6sn", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, Can we PLEASE have out saved links in easy to find Folders?", "post": "Hi Reddit, \n\nLong time lurker who finally got an account 479 days ago as of today...\n\nSince I have been on here I have saved exactly 497 links. These are either articles I found extremely useful and I will go back to them at a later date to re-read or use them to refresh my memory on a certain topic. \n\nI was trying to locate a specific article today and I had to scroll thru quite a few pages to get to the link that I was looking for. All the while I was trying soooo hard not to be side tracked from my task at hand by all of the other great information I have saved from this website I love so much. \n\nSo I come to you, humbly, and ask this...\n\nCan we please have an option to save all these cool links in their own respected catagories? \n\nI would love to be able to click on Saved > (subreddit or like category) > \"Said link\"\n\nIdeas? Thoughts?\n\nI have no idea how to code this or else I would have done so and brought that forth to the community.", "summary": "I think it would be an awesome idea to have all of the saved articles in an easy to find file system. What do you think?"} {"id": "t3_1p4h83", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Help needed with investing in both 401k and IRA", "post": "I need a little help organizing my Roth 401k and Roth IRA. I'm 23 and 1.5 years out of school and just started my 2nd job. I was foolish not to invest in the 401k plan at my previous job but I tried to make up for it by opening a Roth IRA and investing a full 10% of my salary into it. I invested in a Vanguard Target Retirement fund to get myself started.\n\nNow that I'm starting a new job, I want to set up a more \"adult\" portfolio and take charge of my investments. I am investing in a Roth 401k and maxing the company match. I plan to continue investing in my IRA in addition to my 401k to net 10% of my salary. Now that I will have a 401k and an IRA, I'm getting a bit confused how to balance my entire portfolio given my company's fund offerings.\n\nThe picture shows which funds I can invest in with my 401k: \n\nI took a stab at setting up my 401k to the best of my knowledge:\n\n10% Vanguard Total Bond Market Index Fund\n35% Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund\n55% Vanguard Institutional Index (S&P) Fund\n\nAnd my Roth IRA is:\n\n100% Vanguard Target Retirement 2055 Fund\n\nHow are my elections compared to my other options for my 401k? Should I continue to invest in the target fund? Do you guys have any suggestions on better fund choices to spread between the Roth 401k and Roth IRA?", "summary": "How are my investment choices compared to my company's offerings? How should I split investing between my Roth IRA and 401k?"} {"id": "t3_3bpw1k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M42] met an attractive & smart 45 year old woman who has zero dating experience. Need some advice on how to proceed.", "post": "A friend told me about this woman who I will call Krista and introduced us through Facebook. She and I have a lot in common, and especially a lot of things that you don't find very often in common. \n\nKrista and I have been on 2 dates in the past 2 weeks (and have a third tomorrow) and she has been giving me no signals about what's going on. So last weekend, I struck up a conversation over text which lead to that topic indirectly. \n\nShe never dated as a teenager apparently and married a guy she had known since childhood, who she divorced in 2007. She has dated very little if any since then and not at all for the past 2 or 3 years. She's 45 and really seems to have no dating experience. She said \"Dating is so hard for me. Meeting new people and getting to know them is new to me.\" \n\nHas anyone been in a similar situation, especially her side of it, and can give me some advice on how to proceed? I don't think we are going to be able to go with the normal flow of dating and may have to be somewhat deliberate at first. Is that a good idea? We both want to try to see if something can work between us.", "summary": "I met a woman who is 45 years old with virtually no dating experience. We seem to be a great match. Need advice on how to proceed."} {"id": "t3_4o4d2z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19F] friend [19F] is travelling to the other side of the world to meet her internet boyfriend [26M]. We're right to be worried, right?", "post": "Throwaway because she browses reddit occasionally. \n\nMy 19 year old friend met her boyfriend online, and they have been together for a year now. They haven't met yet, as she lives in Australia, and he lives in America. Their main communication is through Skype, so we know he's not a catfish. \n\nHere's the thing: her parents purchased tickets for her to fly over to America alone next month to go meet him. \n\nHer friends and I are worried about her safety, and here are our main concerns:\n\n1. The age gap. She is a virgin and has never done anything more than kiss a boy. He is 26 and is her first boyfriend. We are worried that he will pressure her into acts she may not wish to do. She will be staying at his apartment during her 2 week stay, and has arranged no other accommodation. \n\n2. She suffers major anxiety to the point where she refers to it as part of her identity. She is constantly posting about her panic attacks and anxiety on social media, and even quit studying along with the part time job she had at the time because, according to her, her anxiety was too severe. She often tweets things like \"so proud of myself for going to the doctors alone for the first time, despite my anxiety and huge fear of doctors.\" It doesn't seem realistic that she could travel to another country alone if she already struggles with these things. \n\n3. He is essentially a stranger. Anything could happen, and she has no other contacts in the area to help her if things turn upside down. \n\nAny time we have sat down to express our concerns, she gets very mad and defensive. She claims that we don't understand that it's true love. We suggested that perhaps she should take a friend if possible, or he should fly here instead so that we will all be around incase something goes wrong. She won't budge. Her parents are supportive of her going, so talking to them is pointless. \n\nAny advice on what to do? My friends and I aren't sure if we're over reacting, but we are very worried about her safety.", "summary": "my 19 year old friend is travelling across the world alone to meet a 26 year old she met online. We are worried."} {"id": "t3_h2yph", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Broke up with girl who was my best friend before we were dating, don't know what to do now.", "post": "(BACKGROUND) So I am 23, and I just broke up. I've known this girl since I was like 5 and she has been my best friend for like the last 5 years. I really don't connect with many people on a deep level, and mistook our connection for love. I do have a lot of friends, just not really close ones. We've dated kinda half-assed before and hook up whenever we are both single but just this year tried again. We dated for about 3 months then broke up. I'm not too upset about the breakup, it makes sense. So we had some time apart and it was good. Now she wants to be super close best friends again. (PROBLEM) 1.) Our relationship as friends always sabotages any romantic relationship I get into with other women. 2.) We always end up being friends, then growing romantically close, then fucking, then we try to date again, then we one of us fucks it up. 3.) that cycle is getting old. 4.) Also, we really are terrible as a couple. Hilariously so.\n\nI'm sorry for the long story, but to sum it up, I don't want to be friends with her anymore, because I think it is keeping me trapped in a cycle of fail, but she really wants to and she has been there for me as my best friend for years. I don't know what to do because I really can't imagine going through this again, it is exhausting. \n\nShould I just cut all ties?\n\nIf not, how do I stay friends with her without either of us thinking it's love again?\n \nHow do I date other girls without them being freaked out over me having a female best friend who I have that sort of a \"on again off again\" relationship with?\n\nIt's not super complicated, but I have my head full of so much shit right now, so I want to hear some advice from you guys, and it would be preferable if someone has similar experience and was older. We don't know shit at 23.\n\nAsk anything, I feel like I did a shit job of explaining", "summary": "Dated my best friend. We suck as a couple. But as friends she cock blocks me and we end up evolving into FWB's then date. Rinse, Repeat. What do?"} {"id": "t3_szwcj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Getting kicked out by roommate.", "post": "I've been living with my \"friend\" since January 1st in Yuba City, CA. I moved in with this friend with him knowing I was going to be unemployed (I quit my job to move with him) and he was fine with that as long as I did chores until finding a job. Well, it's been four months and still no luck finding a job. He told me at the beginning of this month I had to find a place to stay on May 1st or go to school so I signed up for school this summer and he still went back on his word. I've been calling around to several places trying to get advice but seem to be getting the runaround.\n\nMy question is can he just kick me out on a whim or do I have any rights to have a 30/60/90 day notice?", "summary": "Been living with roommate for 4 months and trying to kick me out. Need to know if I'm entitled to any kind of notice."} {"id": "t3_1ayorp", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Watch out for nails!", "post": "I've been reading this subreddit for a while, and yesterday, I finally had a moment worthy of submission.\n\nI was walking from my apartment to a convenience store down the street, and as I crossed the intersecting road to exit the complex (legally, mind; I had the signal to walk), a pretty boy in a loud, expensive sedan (BMV, CMW, something like that) pulls up at the light, and seeing me to his right, honks immediately, in outrage that I would have the utter nerve to block his right-on-red.\n\nIt startled me, so I looked back, and then I noticed a single nail perfectly poised in the apex of his turn, point up and everything. It was a big, gnarly construction nail too, which isn't a surprise given the work being done around here.\n\nHis windows were down. I could have said something. But then he honked again, so I turned back and kept walking. When I heard his fancy imported tires squeal past, I glanced toward his passing car. Sure enough, the nail was jutting out of the sidewall of the facing rear tire.", "summary": "motorist decides he's too impatient to wait on a pedestrian to turn, pedestrian decides he's too impatient to spare the motorist a tire."} {"id": "t3_17mzsq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [29/m] finance [28/f] and I have been going through a rough patch, how do I fix it?", "post": "I [29m] recently got engaged to my gf [28f] of a year and friend of 3 and since then the nature of my relationship has changed, we have been arguing more often than before and for longer periods of time. Since the engagement my parents have made things difficult because they don't approve of the timing or the relationship (she's a single mom and divorcee). I have been doing everything I can to reassure my parents so that we can be as cohesive a family as possible. My fiance has changed as a result of these problems into someone I neither like or recognize, she is frustrated and doesn't think I'm doing enough or moving quickly enough with them, and is angry, mean and demanding more than I have ever seen her. On more than one occasion she has suggested that we call the engagement off, and I have done my best to comfort and console her, and I thought progress was made with her and she seemed as if she was pleased with the progress I was making with them, but that was not the case. This most recent time she asked me to pack my things and take back the ring, and said she isn't happy and fears that the recent problems are a window into our future, even though nothing in our past has ever been this way. I feel as if I've lost my fight, I love her and I don't doubt that she loves me, it's just scary having to fight so hard to us together while we plan for the rest of our lives, it seems contradictory. How do I bridge the divide and move forward with the woman I love? Thanks R", "summary": "Family disapproval causing stress on relationship, fiance isn't happy or patient, and I just want us to be a team again."} {"id": "t3_25rw37", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Been texting my crush and don't know how to move it forward.", "post": "So I (M/22) have had a crush on a girl (21) in my crush last semester. We didn't really start talking very much until recently when I asked her to send me chapters for class from her (which was pretty fortunate for me since no one else in my class had the book at the time), to which we talked for about 2 hours on Facebook after she gave me them. That incident pushed me into talking with her more, and after a while, she was the first person I asked to borrow a book from going off of my previous success. This time, she gave me her phone number to better get a hold of her.\n\nNow, my original plan was to leave a note asking her out in the book that she loaned me, but right after I gave it to her, she passed it off to someone else in the class who needed it; thank God I was able to take it out and act like I left a bookmark in there or that would've been awkward. Seeing as I hadn't had very many conversations with her, it was probably a good choice anyway.\n\nSo on a whim, I texted her after our class's final a week later, and we actually had a good conversation that lasted until my final the next day (aside from when we were asleep, of course). I didn't text her again until Sunday this week, and since then, I've been texting her every other day just because I didn't want to seem intrusive (I usually don't use texting to chat with other people as it is, so I thought it was especially weird enough that I was messaging her despite having hardly talked to her in class). At the point I'm at now, she seems to be enjoying the conversations as well and I've been trying to be a bit more flirty with her, but I'm not sure how to continue with this situation. We've talked in person a few times, but I don't know how to approach dating/a relationship with her, since I'm pretty inexperienced with this sort of thing.", "summary": "Started talking to a girl I like in one of my classes, which lead to texting, but I don't know how I can move things along. How should I let her know my intentions/flirt with her?"} {"id": "t3_459mv8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23/F] just found a hair that isn't mine in my boyfriend's [27/M] bed.", "post": "Let me just preface by saying that I am WELL aware this is a crazy-insecure-girlfriend kinda' question, but all I'm looking for is reassurance. I have shoulder length dark brown hair and I just found a long blonde hair on my boyfriend's (well, our shared) bed. He's mentioned finding a hair of his ex's in his car before (who had long blonde hair), so please just remind me there are OTHER ways of that hair getting there, other than a girl crawling into bed with him. I have no other reason to think he was/would cheat, and in his defense he works with a bunch of long-haired girls.", "summary": "Found a blonde hair in the bed that isn't mine...please tell me the likelihood of it getting there in a non-sexual way is high."} {"id": "t3_1rio8d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [22F] tell my boyfriend [26M] of four months that I'm going to start going to counselling?", "post": "My boyfriend and I are in a very loving relationship, we're very open and honest with each other, we've told each other about intimate and painful details of our past and I trust him completely. He knows I had a rocky family situation growing up and resulting insecurities because of it. Recently, I underwent a study and discovered that I have all the symptoms of general anxiety disorder. However, the researcher interviewing me thinks I only have a sensitivity to anxiety and not the actual disorder.\nRecently I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping because of anxiety that occurs over school and life events, I feel like a zombie and am worried about my academic, mental, and social health. I've decided to start seeing a counsellor to find ways to combat this anxiety and figure out if I do actually have a condition that could merit from medication. \nI'm worried about talking to my boyfriend about this because I know the word \"disorder\" comes with stigma attached, and I don't want it to change his perception of me or confidence in my abilities as a significant other and person. I also could really use his advice on this matter though and really want to talk him even if to gain a little bit of comfort. I also don't feel comfortable about keeping it from him since we've been so honest throughout our whole relationship. I know four months isn't a huge amount of time to be dating someone, but we have a wonderful connection and I could honestly see myself having a future with this person. \nShould I talk to him about this or wait until after I start seeing the counsellor?", "summary": "Seeking counselling for anxiety, afraid boyfriend will see me in a different light because of it but don't want to keep secrets from him."} {"id": "t3_2kxg6d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [F/19] going to a Halloween party tonight that my ex [M/19] will be at. Help.", "post": "[Here] is my post where I basically detailed everything about the relationship.\n\nWe broke up about three weeks ago. I saw him two weeks ago when he gave me some of my stuff back. Other than that, I haven't seen him at all, even around campus.\n\nThe party is at his fraternity house, and I was invited by a different brother. I asked a lot of his brothers if I should go and if it would be appropriate for me to go and they've all said yes. They are all my friends as well. I said I didn't want anything to be weird and I was met with \"it's only weird if you make it weird. And he will have to handle it like a reasonable adult because we have mutual friends.\"\n\nI could not go to this party but it's Halloween and I need to get out of my apartment and go. I feel like this is just something I have to do. \n\nI really could use some advice or wise words on how I can handle this situation. What if he tries to talk to me? I could \"what if\" all day, really. What should my mindset be? Help.", "summary": "Recent ex will be at a halloween party that I'm going to, need help on figuring out how to deal."} {"id": "t3_51pch8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24M] with [23M/F], did I look into us meeting too much?", "post": "Bit of backstory: me (24M) and this girl (Soon to be 24F) were close during college, we both had partners at the time but always kept in contact. Eventually a year or two after college we reconnected and spoke/texted a lot, we went out for coffee a few times, went out drinking and went to the movies together once.\nI never really made a move due to lack of confidence at the time and eventually a year ago we stopped talking.\nRecently I made contact and asked if she wanted to meet up for coffee which she happily agreed to and instead she suggested we meet after work and go for drinks together.\nIt went really well last night and we spoke for hours and had a great time, afterwards we hugged goodbye and I suggested we meet again soon, she suggested next time we get drunk together when she is free.\nAnyway the day after I messaged her saying I had a great time and had the idea that we could go out for dinner and have a few drinks for her birthday to celebrate.\nWas that message too much? It has only been a couple of hours since the message and no reply but I can never really tell if I'm looking into that and/or the message too much?", "summary": "Met for drinks, agreed to meet and drink more next time, messaged her next day but unsure if I looked too far into it."} {"id": "t3_3d9mni", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18/F] just found out I'm pregnant (by SO [18/M]). How do I tell my roommates [19's/F's] about it and that I need to move out?", "post": "I recently moved into a duplex with two good friends of mine, Lisa and Katie. We get along great and I enjoy living here, and they don't mind my boyfriend, Jeremy, living here as well (all three of us have boyfriends who either live here or stay most of the nights here). Our lease isn't up until May of next year.\n\nI found out I'm pregnant, and far enough along to be pretty sure it's gonna stick. I work a minimum wage job, and Jeremy makes $9/hour. It's not exactly the most comfortable situation to have a child in. Jeremy is in the military and will be going to basic training soon, so he won't be able to help financially until after he gets back.\n\nThis has created a bit of a problem, as I can't afford to pay rent and utilities here while also saving up for costs of a baby. Jeremy's parents have offered us their basement until the baby is a bit older, I have a better job, and Jeremy is done with training. It will be free of charge, and I have a better job lined up if I move in with them. That would allow me to buy the things I need for the baby, and put some money away for when we leave Jeremy's parent's house.\n\nHow do I tell Lisa and Katie that I need to move out? I can legally do it if I give at least 30 day's notice, but my share of rent and utilities would be really tough for them to have to pay on their own after I moved out. Like I said before, we're all great friends and I want to find a way to do this without upsetting anybody.", "summary": "I'm pregnant and SO's parents have offered a place to stay. How do I tell my roommates without making them angry?"} {"id": "t3_2c2yaz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (20 M) and my gf (18) have an overall good relationship, but my mind is tinkering with the thought of breaking up? Confused", "post": "So background me and my gf have a really good relationship, been together 2.5 yrs (give or take) I know all of her family, she knows mine we all get along great. Problem is I'm not as happy as i think i should be, like i don't get the \"butterflies\" and i personally believe she does love me more. I can go for about a week or so without seeing her and not be bothered by it, while on the other hand she can't. I enjoy spending time with her, but recently its slowly dawned on me that we have no common hobbies or interests, other than watching movies, going out to dinner, or generic couple stuff. \n\nAlthough, everything in our relationship is good, we havent had arguments or fight i'm kind of contemplating at the thought of breaking up. I'm confused due to the fact that i wouldn't know how to even tell her or give her a legitimate reason to. I recently broke up with her about 3 months ago and a month in I caved and asked her to take me back. I don't want to devastate her again (due to the fact that i feel like i wasted 2 yrs of her life) and i'm the only one in her life (she doesnt have many, if any friends, she only hangs out with me, not because i force her but the fact that im her only friend; she acknowledges this). \n\nI'm so confused with the whole situation, i've felt this way for weeks and i have no idea why. I still enjoy her company but at the same time I feel like i can manage without her. In addition, i'd feel terrible if i threw away years of us being together and i feel like if i leave her she'll have no one (friend-wise), i already did once and i was crushed because i knew she had no one.", "summary": "Contemplating thoughts about breaking up with gf, even though everything is good between us. Ultimately confused about my feelings, and where this sudden urge even came from?"} {"id": "t3_3getcc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 F] with my BF [30M] of 2 months, he has a 5 y/o son. I don't have kids and have never dated a guy with kids. How to proceed?", "post": "So A and I have been seeing each other since May and things have slowly gotten more serious. We get along really well and are both pretty laidback and seem to communicate with each other pretty well on things so far. He has a 5 year old son (B) who is absolutely adorable and fun to be around. He has B one night a week and every other weekend right now, but is hoping to get full custody over the course of the next several months. He seems like a great dad and B seems like a happy little kid.\n\nI've had A and B over to watch kiddie movies and play in the pool, and it's been a blast. I guess I just don't have much experience with kids - don't have any of my own (hope to eventually) and have never dated a guy with a kid. I'm sure it will change the dynamic of things, especially if and when A gets full custody, and as A and I get more serious. Aside from talking over any issues that may arise with A, any tips or unexpected adjustments I might have to make? Anything I can do to make this arrangement/transition easier on all of us?\n\nAny stories, advice, words of warning/wisdom/encouragement welcome. Thanks! Feel free to ask any questions of me as well.", "summary": "Any tips for someone with not much kid experience who has never dated a guy with kids before? Any adjustments to expect/be prepared for?"} {"id": "t3_1z83m3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by masturbating (NSFW)", "post": "(Throwaway).\n\nToday I was cooking some potato snacks in the oven. \n\nMy girlfriend is away for the weekend so I was browsing the internet. Needless to say, I stumbled upon some NSFW content. I was horny as all hell. Forgetting I put the potato snacks in the oven, I went to the bedroom and started going at it. I came once but that wasn't enough. I went for round two. I was in a really weird position trying to get off again. I was so close, I could feel the build up starting. I got carried away and went harder and rougher. Suddenly, I shifted rolling abnormally on my left shoulder as I was hitting climax and increasing in roughness. \n\nI felt a rush of pleasure AND pain rushing through my body at the same time. I didn't care, I was whacking off. Straight after (I literally mean, as soon as my load was dumped) I felt this incredible pain rushing through my shoulder. \n\nTurns out, I dislocated my shoulder by jacking off. To top it off, I set my potato snacks on fire in the oven. \n\nI'm now thinking of a way to tell my girlfriend how I ruined her favourite baking tray and dislocated my shoulder.\n\nMost awkward hospital visit.", "summary": "I fucked up by fucking myself while cooking. Burnt the food, wrecked my gf's favourite baking tray and dislocated my shoulder while climaxing."} {"id": "t3_3hyld5", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "19 year old college student need help approaching parents", "post": "Hello all,\n \nMy problem lies in what I want to do with my future and essentially letting my parents know what I want and need to do. I'm currently a college student going through the Air Force ROTC program. However, I don't believe the military life is the life I want to live anymore.\n \nFor those who aren't very familiar with ROTC, it's a college program that introduces and trains students to the military to become officers right out of college. The first year is an introduction to the military lifestyle and the second is the training year for Field Training (more or less basic training for officers). The second year is the most intense and miserable time.\n \nI am entering my second year. While I have no doubt that I can get through the training and become an officer, I can't stop this gut feeling that reminds me over and over again that this just isn't the place for me. Over the past year, I can say I've enjoyed parts, but the only motivation I had were my classmates and encouragement from a long time friend. It almost felt as though I was going through a honeymoon period where I'd be motivated to go, but it soon turned into a chore and I was no longer interested or invested.\n \nThe problem I encounter isn't leaving, but telling my parents. They continually tell anyone they meet about me joining the military one day. They are very proud of the fact that I joined this program, and I can't help but feel that I will break their hearts if I said this isn't the future I want anymore. I just don't know how to approach them.\n \nAs of late, I've been getting the idea to tell them I've been medically disqualified. While it would disappoint them, I believe that it will not break them. However, I can't stand lying to them.\n \nI need advice on this situation.", "summary": "I want to quit ROTC, but parents are too invested. I don't want to break their hearts. Should I lie or try to approach them? How do I approach them?"} {"id": "t3_eekrz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Help me find a sentimental coffee mug for my Dad", "post": "Hi Reddit! I'm trying to find an [airplane coffee mug] to give my dad for Christmas. \n\nStamp reads: \nWillardson + White Collection / Trend Pacific / Los Angeles, CA\n\nI don't want to ask my dad details about it now because he'll know I'm up to something. The last time I asked him about it he said it just meant a lot to him (he used to work as an aerospace engineer for NASA, loves airplanes/space/symbolism behind them, loves the color scheme, etc.) You can't tell in the pictures but if you turn the mug around, the entire other side is broken off and it nearly fell apart when I took pictures of it. It's so sweet that he just keeps trying to glue it together and he was really sad when he told me he couldn't find a replacement anywhere.\n\nI've looked online but can't seem to find any leads or information about the company, so I figured this was the perfect kind of post for my fellow reddit detectives. Thanks to anyone that tries to help me find it. <3!", "summary": "Want to find an 80's/90's coffee mug for my dad. Back stamp reads \"Willardson + White Collection / Trend Pacific / Los Angeles, CA\"."} {"id": "t3_2816fk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19/m] with my ex girlfriend [19/f] of two weeks. We're getting back together, can I tell her to stop talking to a guy who's been flirting with her?", "post": "My ex and I split up after being together for around nine months and good friends for a year before. It was a rocky relationship with some very good parts and some very bad parts. After being away from each other for two weeks, we're both going to try and get back together.\n\nExcept in this time she met a new guy at work, who has been flirting with her heavily for two weeks, calling her 'Stunning' and 'Gorgeous' and messaging her every day. She got a lift home with him during this time and he tried to hold her hand, where she apparently told him no and that she just got out of a relationship. She didn't tell me about any of this during the two weeks we were apart and said she wasn't flirting back, but there may have been some \"innuendos\" at points. In our early relationship history she had a history of flirting with other men when we were fighting or bad, and rarely being truthful about it. That improved to a certain extent.\n\nMy question is, can I tell her to stop speaking to this guy? To remove him off facebook and say she doesn't want to speak anymore? Am I being overly controlling or I am justified because we shouldn't be starting a relationship together when she has another man on the side lines like that? It makes me feel pretty terrible and I don't feel like she should continue having any contact with him apart from the saturday (on and off) they have to spend together working.", "summary": "split with ex of 9 / 10 months. Guy flirted with her heavily during the two weeks we were apart. We're getting back together. Can I tell her to stop speaking to him?"} {"id": "t3_4dr9k1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Do I (22/M) need to stand up to my girlfriend (19/F) of 3 years and break up with her?", "post": "My girlfriend of over 3 years was found out to be messaging her ex, mostly while dunk, and still ending conversations with \"love you\". She maintains that because they're now good friends that she means it in a \"brotherly love\" type of way. When I discovered this was going on, I also found that she had been messaging, quite flirtacously, a guy from her work. These messages included all the \"\ud83d\ude0d\ud83d\ude0d\" type of emojis as well has her messaging him in the early hours of the morning asking what he was doing. When I confronted her about this she lied and said it was one of her brother's friends whom she hadn't seen in a while. \n\nAfter a long argument I asked her, what would you do if I had done this to you? Her answer was that she would end it with me. However I haven't ended it with her yet this plays on my mind.", "summary": "Does it make less of me if I am still with her when she would've ended things with me? Am I a pushover?"} {"id": "t3_368u8x", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[17M] need help with [16F]", "post": "Not a creative title, I know, but I really need help. \nHere's my situation:\nSo this girl, whom I've known since we were 10, has really had a hold on my heart for the longest time. My freshman year in highschool I mustered the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend, she said yes. We dated for about a month until she decided to call it quits because I didn't feel like a boyfriend, more like a friend. I didn't take it too well, as I had been crushing on this girl since we were in middle school, she asked the usual \"can we still be friends?\" To which I said yes. I didn't date any other girl after her and no other girl has made me feel the way I did with her. Fast forward two lonely years later. I went out with a couple of friends tonight to watch a movie, she came along as she was friends with the other people in our group. I didn't mind too much, hoping that she and I would be good friends like we were before, but as soon as I saw her I instanly felt something in my chest (corny, yes I know but believe me it was more than just butterflies) and instantly all the good feelings I felt during my freshman year and the years prior came rushing back. I couldn't muster the courage to even hold a conversation with her. After the movie I said my goodbyes and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I don't know what to do at this point, I really REALLY like this girl. I've never been in love before but I imagine this is what it feels like. I don't know whether to confess my feelings or ask my friends to see if she feels the same way, I'm not the most courageous guy but I'm willing to take the chance if that means that she still has feelings for me. It's 4 in the morning as I type this, I need your help, fellow redditors, please any advice would be appreciated. \n\nI don't care that this isn't a throwaway, because if there's a chance she might be reading this I want her to know I still care for her.", "summary": "liked this girl since sixth grade, asked her to be my girlfriend freshman year, she dumped me, went out with her and friends tonight, the feels came back. Wat do?"} {"id": "t3_242xl4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Partner [F51]just let me know [M37] that she lost a first trimester baby when her ex punched her in the stomach.", "post": "Hi :)\n\nThis is an LDR of almost 1 year at the moment.\n\nTonight, in a rather overtired (unable to sleep) and low mood, my partner confessed that many years ago her partner punched her hard in the stomach and killed her ~3 month old baby. (She has two other kids 26 and 28.) She also told her daughter earlier the same night, and her daughter said I would be mad at her.\n\nI'm not mad. I have no reason to be. Perhaps slightly disappointed she told her daughter first, but her daughter kinda forced it out of her whereas I'm happy to wait for when she feels ready to tell me about these things.\n\nShe did say it was a gall bladder operation beforehand; but I can understand that the feeling of grief for this must be very hard to bear at times for a mother. I'm just not sure why she is worried about me knowing?\n\nIs there any special advice you may have for how to help support her? We're about to be reunited in a couple of weeks and are feverishly working on our migration applications; which may have triggered this anxiety in her.", "summary": "Partner confessed of losing a baby when punched. Originally said it was a gall bladder operation. Was scared I'd be angry, but I'm not. Not sure why she'd think that."} {"id": "t3_45kle4", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "[Story] I'm lost. Need to find a direction.", "post": "(Sorry for the long post) Hello fellow redditors,\n\nIm a 20M currently a junior that goes to a commuter college. I recently had a series of events, perspective shifts, and other things that has put me in a slight panic mode. \n\nTo put it bluntly, I feel like I wasted 2 and a half years, 2 1/2 years where yes, I've studied, gotten internships, have a good gpa, and on track in getting a degree.\n\nBut I've been in a shell, a shell where I didn't go out much, where I have met people, but haven't or didn't want to extend the relationship anything other than inside school. I only joined an organization last semester (and even that one is less than an ideal club in terms of socializing).\n\nTo put into perspective, I was in a group of friends in high school that were really close, we all went to different colleges and I only just realized that I did the basics whereas all of them went to parties, branched out socially, and have had experiences where I just floundered in the \"safe, high school mentality.\" As a result I have few friends, and many acquaintances. \n\nPart of it is because I'm shy as fuck, and quite possibly introverted as well. Even though, technically there is no reason I should be. I'm blonde, 6\"1', and work out 3-4 times a week. I've been so stuck in my comfort zone that mentally it feels exhausting to wake up one day and realize I haven't done to grow socially as a person. I haven't been to a party, club, or whatever - part of it because I'm terrified as fuck, other part because I haven't done enough to put myself out there.\n\nI'm going to sign up for martial arts and a latin dancing school (terrified as fuck for the latter).", "summary": "Feeling absolute shit for not coming out of my comfort zone sooner, wasting 2 and a half years of my college life (supposed to be the \"best years\" of my life.)"} {"id": "t3_u5siw", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I can't, what, where? Fantasy land. I am out of the hole... do I go back in?", "post": "Background: I have had credit since I was 18 years old, and have been in massive amount of debt twice since then. I was never late on payments and my credit score hasn't been hit that bad either. (I am high 600s, low 700s) Thankfully I am in the Army so it has made my idiotic mistakes easier to deal with.\n\nI'm at the butt-end of a deployment and have successfully paid of all of my credit card debt again with one late reported payment (which is bullshit, but that's another story!) With my last few deployment paychecks I will be building a $6,000 emergency fund account with my fianc\u00e9. It will be $3,000 from the each of us.\n\nI also want a car as soon as I get back. I would ike to finance it through USAA just so I can get some installment debt on credit report (previous was a $1,000 loan I took out) and also because I don't want to spend the little I was able to save during this deployment was paying off my debt and seemingly starting at phase 1. I have a consistently paying job for the next year and a half too so that's a plus.\n\nI have a high interest in investment as well but that's for another time...", "summary": "I just got out of debt, building an emergency fund. Should I get an auto loan that I can pay as I have a consistently paying job?"} {"id": "t3_2q0z0n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "He (29M) snores and it's worrying me (29F)", "post": "This is a young relationship. We've been together just a few months and it's going great. Except he snores, you guys. Badly. And I'm a super light sleeper. Whenever we share a bed, I find I have to move to the other room to get even a little bit of sleep, immediately after he falls asleep. Sometimes I hear him across the house with the doors closed.\n\nHe warned me early on in the relationship that he snores, but it's much worse than he explained. I don't think he realizes how bad it is. He's embarrassed in the morning when he realizes I've spent the night in the other room. i feel bad for him. I don't want him to be hurt by me leaving, but I literally get no sleep around him. I've tried wearing ear plugs, white noise, sleeping pills. Nothing has helped. I'm stressed about taking vacations together and sharing a hotel room. I know it bothers him that we don't share a bed, but he's at least understanding for now. \n\nI also think he has sleep apnea. He's constantly choking and gasping for breath through the night and it's really scary to hear. I told him I want him to see a doctor and get to a sleep clinic. He's agreed, but nothing has happened yet. I also think he needs to lose some weight, stop drinking and eating heavy meals in the evenings as a start since they contribute to snoring/sleep apnea but I don't know how to broach the subject with him. Any advice?", "summary": "My bf's snoring is awful and I think he has sleep apnea. I want him to see a doc, lose weight, etc to fix it, but I don't know how to broach the subject with him"} {"id": "t3_28wzal", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "[NSFW] TIFU by forgetting to zip my fly...", "post": "This actually just happened three hours ago, so let me type this out as I recover from the pain...\n\nI was out and about with my girlfriend, and, bless her heart, but she sure can be clumsy sometimes...she always seems to be spilling water and the like when we're at restaurants, and it ALWAYS lands on me, without fail, while she remains completely intact. Now, this is no big deal by any means, so I usually let it slide. But not today...\n\nI have this nasty habit of forgetting to zip up my shorts (I'm used to shorts with no fly, hence this) after taking a leak. So today, I was at a Mexican restaurant with my gf and went to the restroom. I came back, and everything seemed to be going well. That is, until my gf in one sweeping hand motion FLUNG her freshly hot coffee in my direction. That coffee, along with a bowl of hot chili that I was eating, landed straight onto my exposed Johnson. It was then that it hit me that I had forgotten to zip my fly one too many times.\n\nAt first, it didn't hit me that a molten combination of hot chili and coffee just landed square on my family jewels. But once it did, I was SCREAMING in pain...the whole restaurant was looking in our direction, as my hand was clutching my THROBBING beef bazooka...luckily, the World Cup was on, and many people dismissed this as my cheering for a team, but my gf saw what was happening, and she laughed really heartily...she, of course, was unscathed by the avalanche of lava that had just hit my beef bazooka...\n\nWell, when I got home, I noticed that my slippery salami is now home to some nasty callous-like burn marks...it hurts to the touch, and I can't wear anything down there without it burning...shit...", "summary": "Girlfriend spilled coffee and hot chili onto my bare beef bazooka and I made a screaming scene in a restaurant...the salami is now a rash-infested monster."} {"id": "t3_4afi45", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (41F) don't have the energy to break up with my boyfriend (40m).", "post": "He is currently at RIDOC (please don't judge) but I did not meet him there. There was so much familiarity in all of this and comfort. His mom died not too long ago so he really has nowhere to live when he gets out. Most of all our dating and romance has in fact been done throughout his prison sentence(s) (he got out and then quickly went back in bc his mom died and he was drinking a lot etc).\n\nIn some ways my life has gotten better. I went back to work. I'm so afraid of so many things though. I don't really have the energy for a live in boyfriend especially knowing or always thinking he is there bc he has nowhere else. He has assured me he is not many times but I'm not comfortable with all this pressure. I keep thinking maybe he can do better and I don't want to wait until that happens. I'm tired of feeling lousy about myself. He has some narcissistic tendencies. Even his mom said sometimes he can be so sweet and other times he can be the devil. So it's a lot to deal with. \n\nI couldn't really function that well at work on Saturday. I was so stressed out about going through this break up that I keep prolonging it. I don't know how to get out. I've broken up with him before only to miss him terribly and then chase him again. In fact I can take accountability that I chased him from the beginning. I'm very attracted to him and he is a mechanic too. That's how we met I put an ad on craigslist bc my heater core in my cadillac was broken.\n\nWhat should I do? Is there any way to ease into it so that it's not so overwhelming? Should I give it a chance? I know no one can really tell me what to do but I can't keep posting on PTO either and I could use some advice.", "summary": "Boyfriend has no where to live and I'm so use to living alone and it's hard enough for me to take care of myself, my apartment, my pets, and work."} {"id": "t3_3umpxq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23/M] started seeing a new girl [26/F]", "post": "I've just started seeing a new girl. So far, we are both having a good time, we both like each other, and there's no problems. In the past, I have had more than enough relationships that have ended poorly either due to infidelity on their part or just me not being able to trust them.\n\nTo keep it simple, my most recent ex cheated on me with several guys, lied to my face and went behind my back, and would fabricate stories to destroy all my friendships and was the ultimate reason why I had to find new work. As a result, I walk into these situations with pessimism and doubt. What I have found myself doing is comparing them to the 'so called ex that ruined all dating and relationships for me' and picking out actions and immediately assuming it's going to go down the same road.\n\nI understand this is not fair to whoever I'm seeing now but it's tough to look past it. But what I realized today was that it hasn't just been this individual I have compared to the actions of my ex. Every girl I have spoken to, been out with, slept with, I have found a way to compare their actions to this ex and it has really made things tough.\n\nThis time around, I've met a girl I actually like and I don't want this comparison to ruin it for me. It's not fair to her and it's not fair to me. I have let go of the thought of my ex completely but the damage she caused has me paranoid about each girl I meet now. I've noticed red flags here and there. The kind that my ex used to have and I always looked past them but this time I do not want to commit myself or my time if it will end up the same.\n\nHow can I get past this comparison and how can I recover from what was done so that I can spend time with this new girl without the trust issue?", "summary": "I was damaged by my ex and it has caused me to compare her actions to that of the new girl I am spending time with."} {"id": "t3_2fl1mw", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by over thinking everything", "post": "Ok, so I met a dude on Tinder. He was really cool and so I asked him to pick me up so we could hang out at his place. He was awesome. We had great sex, twice. He even made me pork chops. We spend about 20 straight hours together before he drops me off at home. And this is where the obsessing started.\n\nI consider our meet up and think that I may have been too quiet. So I decide, hey, I'm gonna text him first, to show I can be assertive. He responds a day later. I send him two messages about an hour apart, one on kik, the other a text, because I'd just gotten a new phone and I didn't know if he had gotten my message about me getting one. So there's strike two. We have a short conversation and I make up a bullshit excuse about mixing up the conversations to save face, even saying \"I swear I'm not a psycho!\", which was probably counterproductive.\n\nThe next day, I'm in a full on panic attack, so I send him what was intended to be a heartfelt, honest message, asking him if he was interested in me, or was I just making an ass out of myself? Of course after about an hour or so I realize that I was making an even bigger ass of myself so I send him a fourth message, after the last three went unanswered, saying to disregard the messages I'd sent because I'm an idiot who clumsily sends messages when I get nervous about certain people's views of me. He responds immediately with \"lol ok\". I don't know if this is patronizing or endearing.", "summary": "Met guy on Tinder, hooked up, got so crazy thinking he didn't like me I inadvertently made him not like me."} {"id": "t3_1x1e70", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [F19] broke up with my ex [18M] and he has been constantly trying to get in contact with me for three days and says he booked bus to travel to my college across the state.", "post": "We were together for one year. I posted this before and he ended up giving me back my passwords and apologizing on his own. The only time I have contacted him since then is in an email saying I'll drop his stuff when I visit home and that if he has any requests of what to bring he can just email me. Since then, he's been calling me, having his friends and my brother text me to ask me to talk to him. The past day and a half he has been systematically calling me literally every 5-10 minutes besides during the night. I left my phone in my dorm during the day because it was distracting and it kept bringing him to mind. It's an inconvenience and he keeps creating new numbers through phone # apps if I block any. He emailed me today saying he booked a long distance bus ride to me this friday. I really hope he is bluffing because even though I plan on not getting back together with him no matter what, I don't know where he'd sleep since my roommate doesn't allow boys staying overnight and I don't really know where he'd stay. I would stay away from my dorm all day but I'm afraid he'd wait for me or my roommates would let me in. I know if I asked him to not go he probably wouldn't change his mind, and I am really trying to stick to no contact. Is it appropriate now to break no contact to somehow get him to stay home? Even if I did I have no idea what I'd say.\n\nI am visiting home next next weekend and he told me he's going to come hang out at my house (Valentine's Day coincidentally) with my brother. I might ask my mom to not allow him there, but I would feel weird about telling her so I might spend the day away. I might ask my brother to not let him over but seeing as my ex managed to get him to text and try to call me once (my brother, who is 17, really liked my ex and plays a lot of video games with him) I'm not sure how effective that'd be. No idea what to do next.", "summary": "my ex boyfriend keeps calling, texting, and emailing me and it is making it very hard to move on. On top of that he says he plans to travel to me."} {"id": "t3_24aiq9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my boyfriend [19M] of 3 years, just left me because he wanted to be single. I don't know what to do with myself and can't decide what's best to do.", "post": "It has only been 5 days since he left me and I don't know what to do. Our relationship was great, there were no warning signs about what was coming, he just decided he wanted to be single and he was too young to settle down. We had been looking for houses together and now I am back living with my mum. He has packed all of my things and it seems like he wants me out of his life as quick as possible.\n\nFriends and family are all telling me that he will come back to me, that we were a perfect match, and that he is going to realize he misses me, but I am not sure. He already feels so different when we have spoken and I think he is already talking with other girls. I feel very alone, he was my whole world. I still love him a lot, and hope he does change his mind.\n\nThe hard thing is, that I never wanted to settle either. I wanted to go out and do things and travel but he preferred to stay home. Now he is single he has started doing these things and it feels unfair. I don't want to give up on what we had, but I don't know if there is any chance for me.\n\nI don't understand how one morning we can be playing around in the kitchen like normal, then come afternoon he doesn't love me any more and want's to be on his own. I definitely think there is something more to it than what he has said. It is all I can think about, and is affecting my sleep and work. I need to make a decision, whether to hang in there and hope he will change his mind or to cut him out of my life and try and move on.", "summary": "Boyfriend left me very suddenly. Want him back and don't want to give up on what we had but want to let go to stop me from being sad."} {"id": "t3_39ekhv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girl I have been flirting with [17f] starts a conversation but takes ages to reply to me [18m]. Thoughts on how to go from here?", "post": "This cute girl from work has been dropping intense signals that she's interested, which I won't go too far into, but suffice to say it's been obvious to the point that a few other people have commented on it. I like her too, so that's nice, and yesterday I gave her my number. She texted me today, and she just takes a really long time to reply sometimes. Her reply time in this 20 message conversation has ranged from 1 minute to 1.5 hours, whereas I usually will reply within 10-25 minutes (my phone is always with me) Does that make you think she is uninterested? she started the conversation, bear in mind. And should I text her first tomorrow?", "summary": "Girl seems to like me, I like her, but she takes ages to reply via text. What do you think? where do I go from here?"} {"id": "t3_x5nxu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "When were you rewarded for your actions and what was the reward? I'll start...", "post": "So a month ago I felt like promoting [Josh Cooley] a hilarious and talented Pixar storyboard artist/voice actor. I submitted two imgur albums of his work, [this one] and [this one] which got really big, really fast.\n\nSince they got so big, and since he hadn't blogged for over a year, I worried that he might not have wanted the attention; maybe he was way too busy making amazing Pixar stuff and had no time to worry about his side business, and just maybe didn't want the attention. \n\nSo, I emailed him and told him I could take it all down. [This was his awesome response.](\n\nThat settled that! I emailed him back with my name and address and I just yesterday got the SIGNED book for free! Here's the thrilling unboxing and, admittedly, awesome pics of the book, for those of you who really have nothing better to do: [Unboxing] and [awesome detail pics of hilarity] (there's a lot more all throughout)\n\nAnyways, because of all the attention he got (about 15 million views), people were throwing money at the screen to buy his artwork and all his sales increased, hooray!\n\nIn the end, he was happy, I was happy, and I'd like to think that Reddit was happy, too :)\n\nI really think Reddit is a force for the good and positive, which can really impact the lives of our local or favorite, unknown artists.", "summary": "Promoted an unknown Pixar artist and his art business exploded with demand - because of it, he sent me a signed copy of his art book!"} {"id": "t3_3xbgw0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Fear of Death - Side effect of Love?", "post": "I (24/M) have been in a beautiful relationship with her(24/F) for Seven years now. Everything is going so well, and we dream of our marriage and a family together in the near future.\n\nBut, with great love comes great fear(at least in my case), the fear of loss, the fear of death. If I am to die, she won't be able to handle it. She is survived by her mother and me, her dad passed away when she was a few months old and to her, I am everything. She has loved me unconditionally over the past years. \n\nMy fear of death has recently become more and more chronic, I am scared of going on a flight, I am scared on travelling, fearing some life threatening accident that might result in my death. This fear is starting to mess around with my daily life and decisions. I also fear something bad might happen to her, and so I ask her not to go around alone, always have someone by her side. I want her to be an independent girl, but this fear of mine is preventing her from being one.\n\nFelt like asking Reddit out before going on to a Psychologist.", "summary": "I fear that if I die, She won't be able to take it all alone. and that fear is messing up with my daily life and decisions."} {"id": "t3_3ajt7u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I really need help with my depressed mother (18 F and 47 f)", "post": "So a little backstory on my mother. She is a cancer survivor, she lost her father to cancer in her 20s, and we lost my dad to a car crash when I was young. She is not happy in her current marriage and can't seem to leave it. She has been out of the job market forever due to depression, cancer, and raising me, and she is having trouble finding work now. To make it all worse, she and I have a really hard time getting along. She has seen counselors on and off but they usually fall out. She once had a great counselor but she was forced to move to a different city. Her husband is a good-hearted person, but he loses jobs and moves CONSTANTLY. She is dependent on him and definitely not happy.\n\nI am living with her until my job goes full time in couple of months; then I will move out. Me living there seems to be really hard on her. I'm 18. Whenever I have a bad day she cannot deal, tells me my problems are hard on her, which makes me angry and resentful. She is angry at me all the time, which is understandable, I'm not perfect, but it's frustrating and hurtful to me too.\n\nI'm not sure what to do for my mother. I try to encourage her but she seems convinced that things will never get better and that she is trapped in her current marriage with no job prospects.", "summary": "I want to help my severely depressed cancer-surviver mother and salvage our relationship. She is angry at me constantly. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_2sfq17", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (18/m) played along with a joke my father (67/m) made and now he won't speak to me or my mother (62/m)", "post": "This afternoon I came back from a two week trip out of the country, and as I was talking to my parents I gave them their gift which was very thought out and they visibly loved. My dad joked that I gave him the bag it contained and I told him as a joke that actually the paper wrapping it was the gift. \n\nImmediately after I said this my dad's demeanor totally changed and he went from extremely happy to see me and in love with the gift to being personally offended and he said if I am going to act like that then I might as well not have gotten him anything. Now he won't speak to me or my mother at all because she made a comment as he stormed off that if he is going to make jokes like that then he needs to be able to take jokes like that.\n\nI know my father can be difficult to deal with and these situations happen all the time, but I'm not sure if I should feel responsible for him getting upset at my mother and I, or am I right in thinking behavior like that is irrational and it's not my responsibility to walk on eggshells when I talk to him?", "summary": "I played along with a joke my dad made and now he is offended and won't talk to me. Not sure if I should apologize or be unaffected."} {"id": "t3_3htvxc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [25M] told me [24F] he's still loves his ex-girlfriend", "post": "My boyfriend of 7 months recently told me while he was drunk one evening that he's worried about a text message that I sent him a couple days before saying that I love him and that I'm serious about him and I'm the type of person who can't help but settle down. I'm like a penguin. He followed his concerns with a comment saying he is still in love with is ex-girlfriend. Of course this made me have concerns of my own feeling like I'm a rebound or his second place prize and what if she decides to come back in his life how do I know he won't leave me for her. I expressed these concerns and he tries to soothe me with saying that he only wants to be with me.", "summary": "My boyfriend told me he loves his ex-girlfriend still. What should I do? I feel insecure about our relationship now. ."} {"id": "t3_20lohi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my [gf/F] 15 months, she started to develop feelings for ex, but we never broke up.", "post": "My girlfriend and I were head over heels for each other for a year, before this, she had dated another boy for 2 years. \nDuring our relationship, her ex was still crazy in love with her, texting her and telling her he loved her, she had responded several times with \"stop it, youre not in love with me, and *my name* and I are not going to break up in the future as far as I can see. so stop.\"\n\nThe past few months we have been fighting and growing distant. She told me that she had fallen out of love with me, and has started to miss her ex, she was completely honest with me and said she still loves me, but isn't \"in love\" with anyone. She simply needed time to figure out what shes feeling but she made it very clear she DID NOT want to break up just simply needed extra space.\n\nIt has been a month and we have grown very close, we had a lot of talks and both made our concerns clear and open. She has communicated with him every now and then, and just last night she had a conversation with him that resulted in her crying, she told me she feels dumb for \"giving him a chance\" and how she thinks she was dumb to think he had ever changed.\n\nI talked her through it, and im at a odd point.\n\nOn one hand, she never broke up with me, was honest with me about her feelings and never did anything physical with this ex. I could completely understand developing feelings for someone you shared 2 years with again, even though it hurt a lot on my end.\n\nOn the other hand, I cant help but feel like I'm the second choice now that she realized he isn't everything she expected. I plan to bring this up to her and talk to her about it, but for now I feel betrayed.", "summary": "Is it normal to fall in love with other people while in a relationship? Is it okay to let it go as long as the partner stays committed to work through it? How can i make sure i just wasnt a second choice?"} {"id": "t3_2lgg2j", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [29f] am dating [for3months] someone [29m] with a child for the first time. Help me better understand my role?", "post": "Hello Reddit,\n\nI'm dating a guy with a baby for the first time ever. I have done my best not to get involved with someone with a child because I don't know what it's like so it kind of freaked me out. I just got back in this relationship 3 months ago but we were engaged about 8 years ago. Everything was amazing until I had a miscarriage and it broke our hearts which pushed us away and we gave up on us. We were too young to know how to get through it together I suppose.\n\nFast forward 4 years: He knocked up this chick about 3 months after meeting her so they had a shotgun wedding which lasted about 6 months. Now they are divorced and he has full custody of his 1 year old son. He says his son needs a woman figure in his life and that he knows his son loves me to pieces and that he has been having dreams about his kid calling me mom. I have never dated anyone with a child, I don't have any children either. I don't know how this is supposed to go.\n\nI bought the baby a hat with fur and the BF asked me to take it off, he didn't want his son wearing any fur. I thought the hat was adorable but this has me thinking. Is this normal? If we get serious and get married, will I have no say about his life? Will I just be a live in nanny where he makes all the decisions and I have no say in anything? Is that how it's supposed to be? We have been talking for a while and the baby's mom wants nothing to do with the baby. I'm not expecting to replace his mom but I thought maybe if things progressed I would be his step-mom and love him as much as if he were my own but what responsibilities does this entail? I am so in love with them both! I just want to go into this knowing what to expect.", "summary": "Help me better understand my role as the girlfriend of a guy with a baby and how it or if it would change in the future. What will be expected and accepted?"} {"id": "t3_28b9g9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my GF [16 F] for a month: Am i being too clingy and obsessive?", "post": "So very recently I found out that the girl i liked also liked me back and we began dating immediately. I have no doubt that she really likes me and always tells me so. But i've been noticing that i've been starting on the conversations and asking to hang out.\n\nWe're both in highschool and very often i find that it is always me starting the conversation, me waiting for her after class so we can walk together, me who asks her to come hangout and go on dates. Of course she inititates conversation too but i just feel like i am doing it most of the time. It does not seem at all that she is annoyed by me doing the stuff mentioned above.\n\nHowever, i can't shake the feeling that she wants a more \"distanced\" relationship and i am being overly clingy. Is this what i'm doing? Or do some girls just like it and prefer it when the guy does the stuff i mentioned above?", "summary": "I always start conversations and ask her to go hang out and i don't know if i'm being too clingly and/or obsessive."} {"id": "t3_15uhfc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to prove I'll never leave her? [M22] [F22] [xpost from r/askreddit]", "post": "My fiancee and I have been together for a few years now- I chased her, but once we were together she was the one who proposed. Unfortunately, she grew up with an absent father who was emotionally abusive in the rare times he was around, and an uncaring mother. As she grew, her parents eventually divorced after much yelling and arguing- she chose to stay with her father, because she was aware that he at least had the income to keep her out of poverty (since her mother felt she shouldn't have to work). The father became more attentive, though his way of showing love was mostly through buying things for her, until he remarried a very conservative woman and stopped giving attention to my S.O. completely. This, combined with a stepmother who did her best to force her to be a \"proper lady\" who only wore dresses and spoke politely (if at all) lead to my fiancee hating her family life and with a number of problems regarding not knowing how to give/receive affection in a healthy way.\n\nSo now, she lives in almost constant jealousy of any time and attention I give to anything besides her (work, friends, downtime, etc- most of which she doesn't have her own of because of school and shyness), and in constant fear that I will leave her because of any possible slight. I am, in fact, incredibly devoted to her, but I'm not certain how to prove to her that I'm in it for the long haul.\n\nSo, reddit, any suggestions on how I can prove my devotion and help her to overcome her jealousy? We've talked about it already and agreed that the latter might be helped by getting her to spend her attention on people besides me, (finding her new friends and helping her reconnect with old) so that she can understand that I'm not depriving her of attention by occasionally giving it elsewhere, but more advice would be greatly appreciated!", "summary": "She had a bad family life, is jealous of my friends/interests, and worries that I'll up and leave her someday."} {"id": "t3_1e0rp2", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Need help teaching my pit bull puppy to not jump and bite people.", "post": "My 4 month old puppy is great and obedient inside the house with minimal distractions. Hes even great on walks. He responds well to treats and can perform tricks even if there is something else he wants to do. Its when we go outside to play fetch that he has challenges. Everything seems to get him so worked up that he begins jumping on me and either biting or humping me. \n\nIve tried ignoring the behavior but he keeps biting and jumping. Ive tried to distract him with either toys or a treat but he keeps biting. The only thing that stops him is bringing him to heel. Even then he seems content to keep at me.\n\nI plan on getting him into puppy training classes when the next class opens up. In the mean time I would like to help him be entertained and happy. Can reddit offer me some suggestions to correct this negative behavior?", "summary": "I want to help him burn off some of his puppy energy just not at the cost of a 115lb dog who bites people."} {"id": "t3_398dnz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am abnormally afraid of the prospect of intimacy/relationships. How do I go about getting over this?", "post": "I am a 22 year old guy. Never been in a romantic relationship. Furthest I have ever got with a girl was in 8th grade summer, where a girl kissed me a few times.\n\nI have recently come to terms with the thought that all my depression (and whatever other mental illnesses I think I may have) stem directly from lack of a romantic relationship.\n\n(And before anybody comments saying that previous statement IS my problem... trust me... I know. Please refrain from telling me to work on myself, as I have been doing this for several years... I am a drastically improved person compared to how I was 4 years ago.)\n\nAny chance I have ever had with a girl, and even the prospect of dating scares me. I don't get how something I can want so badly can be this scary. My mind is seeming to work against my happiness. I no longer want to be afraid of phsyical intimacy, sex, or communicating my feelings openly. I don't want to live alone, or die alone.\n\nI am a pretty sociable guy for the most part. And somehow, I am AMAZING at getting along with the my friends girlfriends... but whenever I am pursuing an interest for myself, I just can't seem to be myself.\n\nI have this one friend who I have been considering asking out for a while now... but any time I get close to doing it, I can just never get the words out. Even with the belief I have that love cannot happen unless you are willing to have your heart broken, I still can't do it. I think I am more afraid of getting a \"yes\" than a \"no\".\n\nI feel incredibly foolish having to post this to a bunch of Internet strangers... but I don't really know where else to turn. I have been called a pussy by who I consider to be my best friend when I brought this up with him. I hope that doesn't happen here.", "summary": "how do I get over this mental block? I am unable to act on my feelings and the prospect of intimacy and relationships scare me... but yet it is still the #1 thing in life I want the"} {"id": "t3_2e8qcm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [43 M] with my wife [43 F], together 21 years, is my definition of \"cheating\" wrong/weird?", "post": "I think my wife is having sex with her co-worker (the reasons I think so are not germane to this discussion). However, the idea of her having sex with him doesn't bother me at all while I am virtually scared to death she is in love with him. Are my concerns normal/healthy/whatever? No matter how hard I try to get upset the possible sex, I simply don't. At the same time, no matter how hard I try to calm down even a little about whether, after two decades of an (admittedly) non-perfect marriage (we have our fights, our highs, and our lows), she has fallen in love another man, I get more and more worried. I don't know what to do. Obviously, I should confirm my suspicions before confronting my wife; I mean the focus of my worries.", "summary": "I worry my wife might love someone else; I don't worry about her have sex with another man; wtf?!?"} {"id": "t3_3w4tf2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (24F) boyfriend (27M) routinely ends up blowing off my social or family events", "post": "I am near the end of my rope with my boyfriend of 3 years. This is something that has consistently cropped up in our relationship, but has seemingly taken a turn for the worse recently.\nWhen we first started dating, my boyfriend was in a touring band. Therefore, I realized he couldn't commit to a family party or concert six months away; his schedule was always in flux. It was annoying but understandable. \nAbout a year into us dating, he kind of aged out of the band scene, and with us getting more serious, he took a 9-5 at home. I do understand that this was a big shift, but it was a decision he made on his own.\nSince then, he's constantly been looking for something to fill up his creative energy: pro wrestling classes (really), obsessively working out, podcasting, and now, a beverage company his frankly unqualified friend is starting.\nThese all-encompassing activities leave him with a really dicey schedule. Never mind that we have a dog and he routinely calls me at work to tell me that he needs to go somewhere right after work until midnight; it also affects our ability to plan seemingly anything.\nIn the past six months alone, he's canceled on a concert at radio city music hall (the tickets were a combined $200, all on me), our anniversary dinner, dinner with my parents all the time, a half dozen of our friends parties, and, most recently, my work Christmas party.\nI triple checked that he would be available, since my company hosts our party at a really nice country club. That means plates are prepaid. He said it wasn't a conflict and that he was excited to go. Now he calls me saying something has come up for the beverage company. I'm due for a substantial raise and am pissed that his flakiness may cause me to look bad in front of my bosses.\nIt's gotten to the point where I would rather go places myself or bring friends and not even bother to ask him. I'm done with looking unreliable and seeming like I have a boyfriend who doesn't care about showing up to places.", "summary": "my boyfriend has a million hobbies and this causes him to miss social and family events, leaving me looking flaky. Sick of it."} {"id": "t3_mx0k3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I tell when a girl wants to be more than friends?", "post": "I have had a number of close female friends where I have been unsure of their interests or intentions. I'm not looking for anything more than friends, but sometimes I get hints that they might be interested, or..I am reading too much into things.\nFor example, there is friend I have been hanging out with pretty often recently I haven't been sure of. She has a boyfriend she seems to like pretty well and often tells me about, but she also does things like push her breasts up on my arm while we were looking at a map together yesterday, and she always gives me a hug when saying goodbye. \nI think I've indicated I just want to be friends, but maybe I need to clarify?", "summary": "How can I tell the difference between when a female friend is just being comfortable/friendly, and when she wants to get with me?"} {"id": "t3_1ys950", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24 M] am really struggling to get over [21 F] who is only a friend.", "post": "I work with this chick and she is awesome, we got on pretty well and I feel really comfortable with her, she has a boyfriend but always comes off as flirty an constantly gives me mixed messages, for example asking me out on nights out where he boyfriend is nowhere to be seen (seem strange)\n\nRecently she asked me if I wanted to go do something, and I said yeah, I had a hunch is was just one of those flaky things and when I asked her if it was still on the day before she didn't even reply.. Anyway I'm taking her hint, I'd have took it lot longer ago if it wasn't for the fact she seemed eager to see me outside of work.\n\nSo, my problem is that for the past 2 months, all I've thought about is her, it's effecting everything from my Uni work, to my social life and even other girls I could be seeing.\n\nI literally have blinders on, no other girl seems to compare anymore, and even when an old crush started talking to me I couldn't get the other girl out of my mind.\n\nMy stomach is constantly filled with these butterflys that over time seem to have turned into wasps. \n\nI've gotten over girls in the past I mean I've had infatuations and they've lasted no more than 2 weeks, but this is insane, it's been months and nothing is shifting.", "summary": "developed feeling for a girl who has a boyfriends, I accept it's never going to happen, need to get over it. (not my usually infatuation)"} {"id": "t3_2mno5x", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Has anyone ever gone on a 'break' successfully?", "post": "Hello,\n\nMe and my girlfriend have been going out for quite a few years since we were both pretty young. We are both in college right now, finishing soon. \n\nWe are going to be apart for a few months over the winter (trip overseas) and we are now in a weird place and I need advice. \n\nWe are in love with each other and plan to move in together soon after my return. We started talking, and it got brought up the idea of us going on a break while i'm away so I don't have any regrets in the future in regards to sexual freedom and experience (since i have only really had one girlfriend, as she only one boyfriend).\n\nNow it's heating up and we are both so confused. And just have no idea how to approach this. She seems to want to figure her self out more than me, but also is wildly in love with me.\n\nHas anyone ever gone on a break for a few months and come back to the love of your life and continued your relationship? I feel it's a little more one sided because she wants to figure herself out and try new things but still wants to be with me for the rest of her life.", "summary": "Girlfriend and I haven't had any other sexual experience besides each other. We considering going on a break while I travel so we can get 'it' out of our systems. Is this a bad idea? "} {"id": "t3_21opsm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Married man (29). Love my wife (30) but I keep falling in love with other women I meet.", "post": "I guess I'm just wondering if this is normal. \n\nI've been with my wife since the very first week of university, when we were 18, and although I love her very much I very often crave that feeling of falling in love again. I often think we just got together too young and that I've never really experienced falling in love as an adult. \n\nCase in point: I was at a conference for work this week and this beautiful redhead wouldn't stop giving me the eye. All I could think about was going over and introducing myself, but obviously couldn't go through with it (I'm not one for cheating). \n\nSeparately I met another girl and it transpired we had almost exactly the same taste in music, which is kind of obscure. I don't meet people like that very often, let alone attractive women!\n\nIt's not solely a sexual thing. I start fantasising about dates with these women, actually falling for them - growing old with them even. It actually hurts a little bit that I can't go through with it.\n\nI think there is a small element of being bored in a long-term relationship (my marriage is good overall, but obviously lacking in the passion and attention we had for each other at first). There's also a small element of ego, as I have got into much better shape in recent years and girls have started noticing me, which didn't really happen before. \n\nIs this something that happens to most guys? What about women? I'd love to hear your input.", "summary": "Happily married, but I often 'fall in love' with other women, many of whom I know I'll never see again!"} {"id": "t3_2ye2fz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18yo F] don't know whether to tell my ex [18yo M] that i sent his best friend nudes...", "post": "So here's the deal. Me [18F] and my ex [18M] (lets call him Brayden) were dating for almost 2 years until we broke up around the end of last year. The break-up was because of my own personal issues and I let him know that there was possibility we would get back together when I solved those issues. \n\nSince then we've remained close, until a couple of weeks ago he decided I had lost interest and started to shut me out. At the time I didn't know what the problem was and instead of just talking to him I stupidly began messaging his best friend [18M] for attention. (His best friend had always had a thing for me) I ended up sending him a couple of nudes and regretted it straight after. \n\nA couple days after I ended up speaking to Brayden about why he had been distant, it's all sorted out now and we are in a better place then ever. Still not officially back together but I'm wanting it to happen.\n\nI can't help but feel guilty, on one hand I am technically single so can do what I want but I still feel an obligation, even though I feel it would be all over if I told him. \n\nAny advice would be greatly appreciated!!", "summary": "Sent nudes to my ex-boyfriend's best friend and unsure whether to tell him in the fear that we might not get back together."} {"id": "t3_2zyms4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my Ex? [22 F] 3 weeks, Breakup... Maybe? Really need some advice.", "post": "Ok so I started dating a girl three weeks ago that I had been friends with for the last 6 months or so. She just got out of a year and a half relationship with an emotionally manipulative guy about a week before we started dating. \n\nToday she texted me that she really cares about me and is scared that this will make me hate her but that she doesn't want to rush into another relationship so quickly and told me she needs some time to sort out her life. I asked her if this meant we needed to take it slower or if it was over and she said to give her some time before we start talking again. I told her that I would be here when she felt she was ready.\n\nMy question to you guys/gals is this, Is this relationship over for good or is there any hope for us?", "summary": "Got sorta dumped by a girl who just got out of a relationship, Need to know if it's really over."} {"id": "t3_1y76d6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How can I (16/F) support recently orphaned boyfriend (18/M)?", "post": "The guy I've been seeing for the past two months just found out that his mother (61) passed away. She had been a recovering addict for much of her life, and he hasn't been living with her for a few years. His father, who he was much closer to, killed himself two years ago and up until recently, he's been living with his aunt and twin sister. He and his aunt don't really get along and he got kicked out. Since then, he's been living with his friend and coworker, who've been very supportive.\n\nOur relationship is fairly new at this point, although we've been friends for a while. He's very independent and mature for his age, probably from being on his own so early in life. This is my first real, serious relationship and I haven't found myself connecting with a person this deeply before. At this point, I'm kind of at a loss of what to do.\n\nWe both suffer from depression and anxiety, although his is more severe, for obvious reasons. He's had pretty bad anxiety attacks in the past, and I'm worried they'll start up again. He's also dealt with substance abuse issues, primarily alcohol (not to mention his smoking problem), and I have a sinking feeling he's going to do something stupid again.\n\nAt this point, I really just want advice on how to support him in this incredibly hard time, while also giving him his space. More selfishly, I'm worried about where our relationship will go from here. I feel terrible thinking about it, but I know something like this is definitely liable to put strain on the both of us and I don't want to cause either of us any more pain, even though that's probably inevitable. Over all, though, I'm just worried about him. \n\nWhat do I do?", "summary": "Boyfriend's mother just died, leaving him orphaned. How do I support him when he's already having a hard time?"} {"id": "t3_3dbgcj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [17F] get over my first serious relationship? (1.5 years)", "post": "Hello everyone, I'm on my phone and fairly shaken up so I apologize in advance for spelling/formatting issues.\n\nLong story short, me and my boyfriend of a year and a half have broken up today. I don't want to get into the details of the breakup but it's been a wonderful relationship and I just decided it needs to end because of various extremely unfortunate circumstances and I'm not willing to let it get ugly and would rather end it on my terms. I'm very rational and thought (still think) I made the right decision. Love does not conquer all.\n\nThe problem is that I was not ready or equipped to deal with the raw amount of emotion hitting me. I know I'm sounding like a robot in this post but I find it a lot easier to express myself through text. As I mentioned, this was my first serious relationship and obviously I knew it would be sad but I just don't know how to deal with THIS. \"Sad\" is not strong enough to describe what I'm going through right now. I'm feeling literally physically sick (NEVER happened to me before), don't want to do anything, and can't stop crying at 10 minute intervals (at best).\n\nThe problem is that I got a lot of very important stuff coming up soon. I have an exam in roughly 36 hours (that I need to prepare to) and an interview in the next 12 hours for something very important to me. Basically it's a little ironic because one of the elements at play in the breakup was me prioritizing my career over dating/love life and now it's totally taking over and paralyzing me and I have no clue how I could possibly get my shit together like this.\n\nSo basically if anyone has any advice or support or consolation to offer it would be very welcome.", "summary": "civilized breakup, I have literally no clue how to deal with this level of personal emotional tragedy, I need to get my shit together and quick."} {"id": "t3_qkaz3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "GF suddenly changing her behaviour towards me...", "post": "So I'm male (16) and she's female (16) and we've been in a relationship for about three months. She goes to all my classes so I see her about every day. \n\nAnd things was going great the first two months where we got to know each other better and started really liking each other. Somehow lately though I've beeen worried about me being to clingy and talking too much about myself. I've taken the relationship on some advice from friends and mostly on my gut feeling.\n\nThen slowly over the past few weeks she's been cutting off more connection with me and barely responds to texts anymore. And at class she's said she thinks of school as a place more of friends and we try to keep our relationship more private and not too public. But this has become more intense at school lately where I feel that she treats me more like a random stranger in her class compared to our other friends there. ATM . I feel like I'm the only one taking any initiative in our relationship, like dates, and conversations and so on. She asked me out first, but after that I seem to be the only one taking initiative to do anything.\n\nWe're both planning on studying abroad for next year in different countries, and she seemed to want a LDR, as long as we are still together then.\n\nSo I'm trying to schedule a date or something so that we can talk about this, every weekend (which is the only time we got any time to spend together because of schoolwork and such) she always seems to have plans with other friends. I feel like I'm starting to become an annoying thing in her life, and don't know how to react towards her or what to do.", "summary": "My girlfriend for 3 1/2 months is suddenly acting different and being less conversational with me, never taking initiative to text or go out."} {"id": "t3_ppqs4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I just put-in my 2 weeks notice. Why does this feel like an uncomfortable break-up?", "post": "As the title says, I just put-in my 2 weeks notice at work. My bosses seemed shocked and saddened. \nThe strange thing is that they tend to be rather ruthless and fire people with little to no warning, for reasons that are questionably truthful.\nHowever, instead of jumping for joy, I feel saddened and a little depressed. I even thought about taking back my notice of resignation because of how saddened they seemed.\nThe closest feeling I can think of that's similar is when I break-up with some who is obviously not a good fit for me. Which is usually followed by doubts about whether or not I should get back with my ex.\nIs this a normal thing when ending a 'professional relationship?'", "summary": "Why does ending my working relationship feel like I'm ending a personal relationship, given that my bosses are ass-hats?"} {"id": "t3_2rswvs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (20F) have never had an orgasm and don't feel pleasure during sex", "post": "~~", "summary": "I am unable to orgasm or feel pleasure when I have sex with my boyfriend. It's starting to be a real problem and I'm worried we are sexually incompatible."} {"id": "t3_17alwx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by breaking my friend's phone with a harmless, yet idiotic joke", "post": "I apologize in advance for not shitting myself and/or getting caught masturbating, so this post will be less-than-hilarious, but without further ado, here it goes...\n\nSo I was in the cafeteria with a few friends and I thought it would be funny to screw with them a bit with the salt-shakers. So I started off by filling one of my friend's pockets with salt while she was speaking to one half of the group, the other half trying to contain their laughter, as they were focused on my prank. She puts her hand in her pocket at some point, hilarity ensues, blah blah blah. So, continuing the theme, I thought it would be funny to pour a bit of salt on another one of my friend's phones as she had unsuspectingly left it on the table, followed up by moderately funny salt puns and playfully mocking her about how crunchy her keys would be. Again, harmless, stupid fun, easily amused friends amused easily.\n\nLater in the day, she texts me \"So you pouring salt in my phone cause the speaker to break\". Fuck. So, of course I immediately tell her that I will pay for it's repair, but she tells me it would be cheaper to just replace it.\n\nRepair fee-$100\nUpgrade-$200\nLuckily she was nice enough to let me off with $50 (although, to be fair, I know a bit about hardware and I could have easily fixed it--I didn't want to come off as rude or stingy, however, so I just obliged to pay). I ended up paying her 60 because I only had 20s and I didn't ask for change as I figured I owed her a bit more than that.", "summary": "I broke my friend's phone by pouring salt on it and had to dish out $60 to make up for it."} {"id": "t3_2n50vb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend's [21M] mom [~45F] really doesn't like me [20F] and I'm not sure why", "post": "So I've been dating my boyfriend for two months now and I'm really into him. Just him and his mom live together, and I've never met his dad because he lives in the US while we live in Canada. I've met her about four or five times, and always had friendly but very short conversations. I just assumed she was shy. \n\nAbout three weeks ago, I overheard my boyfriend and his mother arguing and I heard her call me a skank. I was shocked and convinced myself I heard wrong because after all she's never really had a long conversation with me and she hardly knows me at all. I have never been unfaithful or even accused of being unfaithful to my boyfriend before. I only knew I heard her right when she texted him the day afterwards apologizing, and saying she wasn't right to say that since she didn't know me. \n\nBut last night me, my friend [19F] and boyfriend stayed the night at his place after a night out drinking. In the morning, my boyfriend was receiving text messages from his mother (who was in the other room) and she was calling me and my friend whores and sluts. My friend and I left right away and I drove her home. But when I went back to my boyfriends house later on in the day (he invited me) to watch some netflix and hang out, I noticed he was texting super fast and was very pissed off. Being the curious little shit I am I looked over his shoulder and saw that it was in fact his mother. She was telling him that if he continued dating \"this slut,\" he would be kicked out. Along with making comments like \"she's a childish whore,\" she also blamed him for ruining all of her past relationships and said that because of this, she didn't care about ours. \n\nHe's ready to move out soon anyways but I would still like to understand what her deal is, and how I can handle this properly. It's really hurtful, and I really like him. I don't want this to ruin our relationship.", "summary": "Boyfriend's mom seems to hate me, and even told him that if he continued seeing me that he would be kicked out of the house. I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_202q91", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Personal Issues: There is this girl that I [19M] have a mad crush on, she [19F] is just way more experienced with life, what do?", "post": "Yo I'm just going to blurrt this out right here. For 3 weeks now I have felt ridiculously close to set girl, not just because I think she's hot but also due the stuff we do together and such.\n\nProblem is, eventhough this increasing relationship goes both ways, I feel incredibly intimidated to make any moves on her due to her long history of boyfriends and lovers. I don't know what to make of it, really. I can't just go for it, I'll fuck it up hard.\n\nIt's not like I have no idea what I'd do but I just feel incredibly judged in every action I do eventhough I am sure she doesn't do that at all. \n\nAlso, I've never really, uhhm, considered me still having my virginity as bad (eventhough 19 is a bit old of a dude) in this case it just increases my intimidation, though. \n\nMaking this thing alot worse is her ex bf is a sexy motherfucker, so I can just score lower... uhm... halp maybe? \n\nHow do I climb this mountain?", "summary": "Girl of interest had impressive list of previous lovers (not in a bad way), so I am way too frightened to make a move on her."} {"id": "t3_2f7ang", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Thinking about switching majors... again.", "post": "Hi guys and girls, I'm looking for some advice. When I was a freshman, I started college as a Biology major. I didn't have a plan but it sounded like a good place to start. After having to withdraw from my math class and then barely passing the second time around, plus barely getting C's in my core classes, I decided to switch to English. It was an obvious choice because of all the extra English classes I was taking an acing. I do know the risks and challenges of switching to such a limiting major. I'm now a junior and have been looking at graduate schools for Library Science for a year now. However, the more I think about it, the more I wish I would have switched to Psychology. I've been thinking about having a Psychology minor but I love it so much that it's starting to bother me that I'll be only minoring in it. I really enjoy it, I'm good at it, and there are many more employment opportunities that actually utilize the major. I'm not looking for criticism for my decisions. I'm looking for useful advice, anecdotal evidence that I should or shouldn't switch again, and maybe a little reassurance that I'm not the only one feeling this way. I'll be talking to my adviser later this week and then doing some academic counseling. Thanks for reading.", "summary": "Thinking about switching majors from English to Psychology as a junior. This will be my second switch and I don't want to make a mistake."} {"id": "t3_2u0qpm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 F], and my boss [43 M], how to deal with his know it all personality", "post": "I have 4 years working in a software development department; I started with this same boss and besides the fact he can be a very cool and relatable person, what really annoys me is his \"I know it all\" personality.\n\nMy biggest pet peeve is when people comes and gives and opinion without really knowing the whole story; in another words I hate when people assumes things too quickly and this is exactly what he does.\n\nTo be more specific I was upgrading some code (he's only my boss, he's not involved in the development process) and he came and say: \"You're complicating too much, you don't need to do all that stuff\"; hell yeah I needed to do all that and really bugged me that he didn't even know what was the previous process about. Sometimes he ask me to do something and when I'm in the middle of the task he says \"You don't even started yet, right?\" the only thing he has to do to see if I'm working on that task is to see the process logs before saying that aloud in front of my other coworkers, or at least ask me in a more polite way.\n\nI don't want to be rude to him, I accept I get easily annoyed but I want to talk to him and say my point of view in a intelligent and calm way, is there a way to do that?", "summary": "My boss gives me opinions about my work without being involved in the process and assumes things before even asking; I want to give him a polite response."} {"id": "t3_2m5r9j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend told me [21/M] about a friend of his and is sort of teasing the idea of talking to her about me.", "post": "Last night, I was texting a friend of mine and he casually mentions this girl he's friends with who, as we both see her, is very cute. I'm not exactly sure why, but he starts telling me about her and it turns out that, on interests alone, we're incredibly similar. Everything from peculiar music taste, to hobbies, to basically everything. (And her hometown is just a few hours from mine, but that's pretty mundane.) Basically, I think she's really cute and I'm sort of in awe at how similar we are based off what he's told me, because that doesn't happen to me too often.\n\nWhen my friend first told me about her, he agreed he would talk to her when he was less busy, then a few minutes later joked and said I should go to Boston (where she's currently studying). He's done this like three times now, and it's to the point where I'm just thinking, \"Oh well.\"\n\nI'm not saying I deserve to talk to her, nor am I saying there's even a chance, but we both agree it seems like we're incredibly similar, and I'd love to talk with her (if she's interested, of course!). I'm getting the impression he sort of has a crush on her, so he's not willing to do anything. How can I ask him without sounding like an asshole/desperate?", "summary": "Friend e-introduced me to someone who I find very attractive, but since I think he might have a crush on her, it seems like nothing will happen unless I confront him about in a kind manner."} {"id": "t3_24hyrl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "On/Off partner [18 F] broke up with me [18 M] again. Now only wants to be friends.", "post": "Okay so my friend and I developed a physical and romantic friendship at the beginning of the year. We discussed dating, but put it off, given that as long as I've known her she has been unable to date someone for more than a week or so. Her reasoning is that she doesn't feel like herself while in a relationship. However, emotions got the best of us and we started dating a few weeks after it began. \n\nAfter about two months, she broke up with me, saying she didn't feel like herself. I was upset but I came into it knowing it would happen. We continued talking after it, and about a week later I invited her over to my house to see a movie. While we were watching the movie, I kissed her, much to her surprise. It grew more heated and I ended up becoming her first time that night. She later told me that she had expected us to watch the movie as friends and didn't think that was going to happen, but was alright with how it turned out given that she was still attracted to me.\n\nFor about a month after that we began dating again, not as boyfriend/girlfriend, but as \"monogamous romantic partners\" as she called it. It continued like this until the prom, where she asked me out again. For a few weeks it was fine, but I noticed she was starting to get stressed out about it again. We had a talk about it and decided it would be better if we broke up.\n\nNow she doesn't want to hang out with me for awhile, and is more distant than the first time this happened. According to her close friends (theyre also good friends of mine), this is because she still has feelings for me. She knows something will happen between us if we hang out and she doesn't want to go through another break up again.\n\nSo Reddit, I need some help. I don't want to date my friend again, given that it doesn't turn out well, but I want to get back into that position of romantic friends. Any thoughts?", "summary": "On/Off romantic partner wants to distance herself from me because she still has feelings for me and doesnt want to be hurt by the break ups again."} {"id": "t3_1jtq3l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Friend A[27F] broke up with Friend B [29M] after 6 years, I was their (welcomed) 3rd wheel. I have no idea what to do.", "post": "I should address the welcomed 3rd wheel part. They asked me to move in when I was looking for a place. We were always a team and I thought it would always be that way.\n\nFriend A left yesterday. Friend B messaged me today letting me know what happened. He was blindsided. He was planning on proposing. I'm going to be there for him the whole way, because I know this will be way harder on him, but now I'm worried about how this will effect my relationship with Friend A. I get the feeling that she knows he'd turn to me for a shoulder to cry on, so I think she's dreading bringing it up. \n\nEither way, I don't want to become some sort of medium for them to talk to each other, nor do I want to hear them vilifying the other. I love them both, dearly... They're my best friends. I just need to know what to do to keep the special relationships I have with both in tact throughout this painful break-up. \n\nPlease let me know. It's heartbreaking.", "summary": "Best friends were a couple; they broke up; wasn't mutual; how do I stay neutral and keep my relationships with both in tact?"} {"id": "t3_3e8c1z", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[FL, USA] Do we have any rights to proof of rental history?", "post": "Hi /r/legaladvice! \n\nMy husband and I lived in an apartment owned by a private management company from August of 2014, and our lease ends in August 2015. The apartment was located in Osceola County, FL and was in a smaller historic building. We never had any contact with the company itself, only the building manager. Rent was always paid on time/early.\n\nBecause it would have been more expensive to break our lease rather than let it run it's course, we moved out about a month ago but paid rent through the end of the lease. When it came time to sign on our current apartment, we provided the new complex with our previous building manager's contact info. New complex sent an email to building manager, asking for an email from him verifying we had been tenants and paid on time. Building manager instead called the new complex, and gave a verbal recommendation. According to the leasing agent, he declined to offer a written rental history for us, and refused to give a reason. The leasing agent said this was the first time he'd had that happen to prospective tenants.\n\nI called the building manager and requested a written rental history, or just an email confirming we had been there for a year and weren't behind. He declined, saying he needed approval from the board of the management company to issue one. When asked what the timeline was on that, he hung up. He has not responded to any communication since then, except to tell us he was declining a final walkthrough of the apartment with us.\n\nWe ended up having to pay as much of a deposit as someone with zero rental history ($500 more, only half refundable). My husband and I are young, and this is the only long term rental history that we had. While we will have 13 more months on record after the apartment we just signed on, we would still like to get documentation for that year of our lives.\n\nIs there anything we can do? Do we have any rights to proof of renting?", "summary": "Landlord won't put into writing that we lived in apartment and made on-time payments. Has now cut off communication."} {"id": "t3_23r08r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21 M) just broke up with my girlfriend (19 F) of six months, having a hard time adjusting", "post": "We weren't together for that long (six months), but I still got attached to her. The break up was something that I had wanted. I got focused on all the little things she did that annoyed me. I found myself making excuses to not be with her all the time. I found myself just stressed and annoyed when I was near her and I didn't feel attracted to her at all. I didn't find myself happy with her towards the end. All those feelings had been coming to the surface over the last month and a half. I tried my hardest to work through it, to get past it, but I just couldn't.\nThe hard part was that before this past month and a half, she and I had discussed getting engaged and getting married. We are both full-time university students, however, in the fall I will be transferring to a different university to pursue my bachelor's and try to get into medical school. When I started getting so annoyed and unhappy with her, I told her that I wanted to hold off on getting engaged. That strained our relationship a lot because how were we going to make it work being at different universities?\nFinally, she brought it up and we discussed it last night. We both decided it would be easier to just end the relationship now. It was really hard - for both of us. I know that this is what I wanted - and it's probably for the best - but deep down, I still care a lot about her and it was hard to see her cry that much and know that I let her down. I keep getting this feeling that she is just mad at me and hates me because this isn't exactly what she wanted. She dreamed of marrying me and so did her parents.\nIt is just hard to have someone be such an important part of your life and then suddenly, after a short conversation, they aren't there anymore.\nI am just having some difficulty getting over it. I know it's only been one day, but it has been difficult knowing that this is what I wanted. If it was right, why is it so hard?", "summary": "Broke up with my GF...it is what I wanted and felt like it was necessary...why is it so hard to adjust and feel comfortable with it?"} {"id": "t3_471mlb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (17M) and I (15F) get violent during arguments, and I am scared", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for five months, and it was a smooth ride for the first two months, and trouble started to brew.\nWe have both been in relationships beforehand, and I was abused by my previous boyfriend which has instilled quite a few psychological problems in me. A few days ago during an argument, my boyfriend mocked the abuse that happened, and this has prompted me to analyse the relationship as a whole.\n\nWhen I had a migraine a few weeks ago, an argument erupted because I needed silence and I wanted sleep, which caused my boyfriend to believe I was angry with him, for some reason. I resorted to begging for tablets to relieve the pain, and he laughed and kept switching lights on when I had told him the light was hurting my head even more. During other arguments, he has pinned me down, sat on me and put his hand over my mouth and squeezed my nose, has grabbed me so hard his fingers bruised my arms, bent my arm backwards until all I could do was fall to the floor, and repeatedly call me insane, a slut, and a psychopath. He recorded me crying and begging not to be touched, to which he kept reaching his hand out and telling me everything was going to be okay - which was nice however would have been more appreciated if he wasnt repeatedly attempting to touch me despite my protest.\n\nI am not fully innocent of problematic behaviour, however, and I have had my fair share of violence in defence. The last argument we had, I bent his fingers backwards until he stopped touching me, I repeatedly slapped his hand away from me and in previous arguments, I have also teased him and probed him about his sexual history with his ex girlfriend.\n\nI have admitted to him that my behaviour is relatively abusive however he will not admit that what he does is abusive, he admits he believes it is wrong, but not abusive. I am beginning to become scared but I am wondering whether I am being too dramatic about it and if it is not really abusive, and he is simply having trouble controlling his anger, I'm not sure. I need advice.", "summary": "My boyfriend and I get violent during arguments - I need to know whether my relationship is abusive or if I am just being crazy?"} {"id": "t3_zrs6d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend does not associate sex with love, putting a certain strain on our relationship - how can I change this?", "post": "I (22) have been seeing my boyfriend (26) for nearly 9 months now (known him little under 2 years). We are so happy together, and I've never connected with anybody like this before. \n\nHowever, as our relationship progressed, our sex life seemed to become really irregular. After plucking up the courage, I asked him why he seemed suddenly so disinterested in me, despite being totally relaxed with me in every other respect. His only explanation was that he does not associate sex with love, and sees it almost as an act of violence. \n\nI can only imagine that this is because he had many short-term relationships in the past with women he never really connected with. \n\nThis is the only part of our relationship with which I am unsatisfied. He seems to be content without any sex at all, and I am lucky if I get some once or twice a month! It confuses me though, as he always enjoys it, he just seems unwilling to initiate anything.\n\nWhat can I do to make him want to do it more often!? I love him completely, but it is becoming too frustrating to want something I cannot have!", "summary": "Boyfriend won't get jiggy often because he does not associate sex with love. Beginning to frustrate me!"} {"id": "t3_nnxwd", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "I need your help to keep my cat!", "post": "Hey, reddit. I have a seven-year-old female Siamese mix who is fixed and has never given us any behavioral problems. Lately, however, she has taken to peeing all over my parents' bed, and for no apparent reason. She doesn't have a UTI, so I don't understand why she's doing it. My parents are so frustrating that they are threatening to get rid of my baby unless I do something to correct the situation. I'm so afraid that they will give her away while I'm at college, and it's stressing me out to the point where I've cried a couple of times. Help me figure out what's wrong and what I can do to fix this so that I can keep my little girl.", "summary": "Otherwise healthy cat pees on parents bed, and parents want to get rid of her if I can't fix the problem"} {"id": "t3_tglxt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what do you think of children on leashes?", "post": "I just saw a group of about 5 small children walking with two adults, and they all were holding onto a blue leash thing. I took notice of this, and I wonder if anyone else looks at such a sight with just as much curiosity. I didn't know whether or not to judge the adults, but in the end, I felt it was probably safer for the children, but I'm not really sure why it is safer. I suppose it prevents one of them from running off, leaving the adults in a sticky situation - should I leave these other children behind and race after that child so he/she does not get hurt? Also imagine if 2 or more of the children started running in different directions. How does an adult manage that? \n\nReddit, do you think children should be put on leashes? What do you think society thinks of it? I feel society feels like it is abnormal to see such a sight, maybe even cruel, but in the end, I personally think it is best for the children and the adults. Children are not predictable and can do something scary like run off into the middle of the street, and when you are with other children you cannot abandon them to go chase down that other child.\n\nI think children leashes have a bad reputation, and I'm not sure if I'd ever use one,but if they were more acceptable, it would make me feel a lot more comfortable knowing that if I had more than one child with me and I was responsible for their care, that none of them would be running off leaving me in a terrible, split second decision making situation that could end up badly.", "summary": "Leashes are not a bad idea when there are more kids than adults and the adults fear the kids may run off on them"} {"id": "t3_359tk4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 23M her 23F. Should I try and continue this, or just let it be?", "post": "So I met this chick about a week ago and we've been texting and snapchating like crazy. We have both expressed interest in each other, and things were going pretty good. We had a date lined up for this weekend, and as I was trying to finalize plans, she mentioned that she randomly moved to a town about 2 hours and some change away.\n\nWhen I asked codename Snot what happened, Snot said that she wasn't going to really go into details, but that it was going to be for a couple days. I've been flaked on before with this, so I asked her flat out if I needed to back off. Snot said no, that I wasn't intruding or anything. I told her I didn't want to overstep any boundaries and she was adamant I was fine, so I let it be.\n\nI've been flaked on before with this excuse, so I asked Snot what happened, because honestly I felt like I was just played for a fool and was pretty pissed off. Well come to find out, Snot was in an abusive relationship with this guy she lived with, and needed to get the fuck out of there. I'm really glad she did, and I had said that I hope I get to see her again. She said she really hoped to see me again as well, and I hinted a couple times that I'd want to schedule a date if she was down, and both times she said she was down, but never gave a for sure yes, which granted that it is early in the AM for us right now.\n\nThis is the first chick that has actually ever shown interest in me in years, and the last thing I want to do is be pushy, ESPECIALLY considering what I just found out. However I also don't want to wait around for something that isn't going to happen.\n\nAny advice would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "Met this girl, we showed major interest in each other. She moved really far away for her own well being, wondering if I should continue this or not."} {"id": "t3_xkcuy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Don't know what is in my head and what's not? Does he like being with me?", "post": "My boyfriend (20) and I (19) have been together for just over four years. We are long distance during the school year because we are both college students, but live 10 minutes away during the summertime. When we are not in the LDR situation, we try to see each other every day, even if just for an hour or two to cuddle, watch a movie, go on a date, etc. This has never posed a problem in the past, and I think it has actually really strengthened our relationship.\n\nThis summer, though, I feel like he doesn't really want to be with me when he has free time. He says he does, but I feel like almost every chance he gets, he makes up an excuse to stay home or breaks off our plans. He tells me that he loves me and that he loves spending time with me, but he never wants to stay overnight at my house like he used to, and I don't really think he likes when I stay at his either. \n\nI guess it's likely that he just wants a tiny bit of space, but it feels like such a dis, and makes me feel like the neediest girlfriend in the world. \n\nI've tried to ask him about it and tell him that I have these feelings, but he just denies that he has any objection to seeing me when he's free. Do I just believe him even though his actions tell me otherwise?", "summary": "Boyfriend (20) of 4 years says he wants to spend time with me, but his actions are telling me otherwise. Do I believe him, even though I feel rejected by his excuses not to?"} {"id": "t3_2fggr2", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Exercise bike calorie counter.", "post": "I recently decided to be more thorough about losing weight. I was losing weight at a nice speed about a year ago, roughly 1lb a week. Then we had a baby and got all the weight back. The exercise I was mostly doing was on an exercise bike in front of my pc. I set up a playstation controller so I could cycle and play games and watch youtube videos and netflix. It works quite well and I usually spend 1- 1 1/2 hours on the bike.\n\nAnd now on to the question. My bike says in my last cycle I burned 350 calories in 90 mins ( I know I cycle slowly. It's kinda in the background as I play or watch videos. It's usually about 10 - 13 mph). I just started on a website called sparkpeople and they list exercises and when I added the exercise as 90 minutes it said it should be 900 calories for exercise bike <12mph. \nDoes anyone know why there is such a big difference?", "summary": "Why does my calorie counter on my bike read as 30- 40% of what websites expect me to burn on my exercise bike? and which is more accurate."} {"id": "t3_41ouep", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Investing student funds?", "post": "Hello r/personal finance,\n\nI am a univesirty student in Canada, and i have recently been graced with money from my family to pursue my studies. If i consider my current budget to be stable, i have an extra 3000$ i would like to invest. Thing is, the other \"lump sum\" i need to cover my school and living expenses in a regular savings account at next to no return.\n\nThis said, my plan was to put that \"lump sum\" in a CELI account to at least get inflation roughly covered (the rates are around 1.5%). \n \nWith that extra 3k i really am kinda stumped. I have some energy stocks with are (obviously) really tanking these days, bonds are out of the question at the rates they're at (far worse than CELI), and CDN is worth around 68cents which pretty much rules out ETFs out of Canada. I was thinking maybe canadian equity would be better though?\n\nWhat do you think of this plan of action? Thought/comments/criticism very welcome!", "summary": "I have 20k as a student and only need 17 for education, is 17k in a CELI and 3k in canadian equity a good plan with markets being what they are? (in canada)"} {"id": "t3_1oam9u", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Lost 50 pounds. I look better but I'm kinda feeling like a prick.", "post": "I had been in some bad habits: eating crap and sitting on my ass. I got up to 235 pounds and broke up with my girlfriend. That's when I decided to change my lifestyle.\n\nI began biking to work instead of taking the bus. I used to play basketball in high school (im 32 now) so I started playing again regularly. Also I started counting calories with an app on my phone and I am disciplined about sticking to my calorie limit.\n\nNow it's 6 months later and I am down to 185. I feel the changes I've made are permanent changes so I don't see myself going back to my old unhealthy ways. I feel good; I look a lot better; and I am still losing weight at a steady pace. All good stuff but I do have one problem:\n\nI have grown extremely judgemental of overweight people. I know everyone's body is different and some people have glandular issues and there's food addiction and blah blah blah. But I just can't help thinking that if I could lose weight, anyone can do it. It's just a matter of hard work.\n\n So when I see overweight people, in my head I really hardcore judge them. I just assume that they're lazy because I know I got fat because I was lazy. I work with a lot of overweight people and I have some family members who are overweight and sometimes they just disgust me. \n\nI don't know what I want from reddit out of this post. I feel bad for judging people but I just can't get these thoughts out of my head. Any replies are welcome. Feel free to call me an asshole if you want, or feel free to empathize.", "summary": "I was fat not very long ago and now that I'm getting healthy I've become really judgemental about fat people."} {"id": "t3_3f421f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my gf [21 F] 6 months, am I being unreasonable with all of this?", "post": "I'll start this by stating that me and my girlfriend spend a lot of time with each other, we do nice things for one another, we get along very well and have frequent sex. She told me she loves me about a month ago and I told her I love her as well. We are very affectionate as well with each other.\n\nSo my girlfriend offhandedly mentioned the other night after sex that she wishes she could blow me while I fuck her. I agreed that sounds pretty hot but now I can't stop thinking that she is wanting to have a threesome (we agreed not long ago that neither of us would want to see the other have sex with someone else). \n\nAnyways, would it be messed up for me to almost bait her into it just to see if she would want to do it? Like just asking \"Hey about what you said the other night, it sounds like you want to have a threesome with another guy?\". It would crush me deeply inside if she said yes as I would never want to see another guy doing anything with her and she knows it... I think this would be a deal breaker for me as I have thought about whether we have a future together, because I think we do at this rate. If she says yes to this it essentially means she isn't satisfied with only having sex with me and is seeking more, and I take that as a possibility for future cheating or that I am just wasting my time in this relationship.\n\nThis is my first serious relationship so I'm probably sounding like an idiot here but could really use some advice, I really love this girl and have no current plans of leaving her. I don't think I'm being entirely unreasonable though, before we started dating she was sexually 'adventurous', she had sex with 6 guys in the span of a year after breaking up with her two year boy friend, she said she regrets most of them and considering that she waited until 18 to have sex makes me think she does have the will power... But whats stopping her from exploring again? This is eating away at me, advice is extremely appreciated.", "summary": "Girlfriend makes offhand comment and I might be misinterpreting it and just being jealous... Should I try to get an answer out of her even though I don't want it to be true?"} {"id": "t3_52611p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] and her [19 F] acquaintances? at university, interested in her and don't know how to procede", "post": "There is a girl on my floor in the dorms at university, from what I know about her she seems like a very cool person and has similar interests to mine, such as same animes, movies, games, cosplaying (Even making one right now), conventions, etc. And even wants to become a vet to help save animals.\n\nSome additional information is that her roommates however say she's kind of anti social, stays in playing games and building cosplays. I haven't really seen her out myself doing stuff like any of the residence events. \n\nSome information about myself is that I've never actually been in a relationship before, haven't even kissed a girl before so I have 0 experience for this. Something about her is she broke up with her first boyfriend (of about half a year) about 1 1/2 months ago.\n\nOne of my friends knows her as well, and he mentioned that relationships came up in a conversation of theirs and she said that she wasn't actively looking for any relationships right now. \n \nI'm very interested in her, and would really like any advice on how to advance this, she seems like such a good person, and interested in alot of the same things I am.\n\nRight now we aren't incredibly close, but from when we've talked she hasn't seemed too against talking to me. I'm kind of worried about coming off as creepy, which is one of the main reasons I don't try and go out with any girls.", "summary": "Interested in girl on my floor in the university dorms, and want to get closer with her. Looking for any advice on how I can get to know her better without coming off as too forward or creepy"} {"id": "t3_2kr51e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my exgirlfriend(now) [17 F] just broke up with my gf don't know if it was the right thing?", "post": "Okay so I really like this girl and we just started dating and we've been dating for a week that week has gone kinda \"ehhh\" like there were days that she wouldn't text me for hours. We've been okay and its been a week since we dated today. When I woke up this morning there was no text and I was running late I woke up at 11am and she woke up at 6 am so she didn't text me all day until I texted her when I woke up. \n\nOnward to school I have walked her to her classes for like a month and we hugged after I walked her. So today I walked her to one and she didn't go to hug me or anything just walked inside. So I knew something was up with her. I didn't think too much about it till the next class I walked with her but she actually hugged me this time but it felt odd.\n\nSo later that day after school she texts like like 3 times and then stopped texting me like 3 hours. So I text her after she doesn't text me back so long and asked her if she still liked me and she was like \"honestly I don't know Its just I have no time for a relationship right now I have volleyball and school and its just so stressful for a relationship too.\"\n\nSo I went off and was like wow thank you for making make waste a lot of time on you and was like we're done and said goodbye She also said that she likes me but its like she doesn't have time.. She hasn't texted me back since then. I like her a lot still fyi. Idk did I overreact with breaking us up completely and not trying to work things outs?", "summary": "Broke up with my girlfriend because she said she didn't like me anymore and didn't have it was too \"stressful\""} {"id": "t3_1qipeq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[20 M] Ive been with my girlfriend [20 F] for over a year now and I think shes not sexually attracted to me and sees/treats our relationship as a friendship.", "post": "I know this is hardly as big a problem that others on this sub are having but i just need some advice on this.\n\nIve been going out with this girl who i absolutely adored for the longest time beforehand. I was so stoked when she said she would go out with me. The first couple of months were great, we spent a lot of time together and we got (and still do) along really well. \n\nBut one thing that has really stood out is the physical side of the relationship. Shes a really attractive woman who has a lot going for her, but in the year we have been going out except maybe the first few months the sexual part of our relationship has pretty much died. We dont flirt, we dont make out, we dont have sex or any intimacy in a physical sense. Its like we're just friends. And i hate it. \n\nAnd its not like we've been without opportunites, there have been times when the stars have aligned and everything is perfect for a night of intimacy. And after a few kisses its \"Not tonight\" or literally just rolling over and sleeping. \n\nI just dont understand it. Ive asked her why we never have a physical side to our relationship anymore. She just says \"Im just a bit timid\" or \"we just dont have time\". But we've been together for so long now that is just doesnt make sense. If she said to me that she doesnt like having sex, or she worried about how she looks or any number of plausible reasons then I could work with them. But she just brushes it off.\n\nA couple of months ago a good mutual friend of ours said to me that me and her weren't really in a relationship and that we were really just good friends with a formal label smacked on it. \n\nAnd thats exactly what it feels like really.\n\nI guess im just confused, i really like her but after all this time with no physical or even emotional reciprocation, I guess you'd say no romance I just don't want to be in this kind of relationship.\n\nAny advice would be awesome guys.", "summary": "Girlfriend of over a year shows no sign of physical affection and makes me think that we're just friends and not even in a romantic relationship."} {"id": "t3_2rn7up", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] masturbated on webcam with old friend [29 M/F] several years back, scared...", "post": "I used to be very active on an site where I met a ton of cool people. One in particular was a slightly older lady and we became pretty good friends, and after several months she sent me nudes (face and everything). One night, 3 years ago, she suggested we masturbate on webcam. I agreed, and so we did. For the most part, I was careful about showing my face, but did show it for probably 10 seconds. Her face was in it the whole time.\n\nAfter we finished, we talked like usual. I knew she had done this with others in the past (told me it was a fetish of hers). So I asked her whether she was ever worried that she would be recorded and posted online. She then told me that she records all of her encounters as a counter measure. That obviously worried me and I told her I really wasn't comfortable with her having recorded it. I also told her that I had deleted her nudes after I looked at them as I didn't feel right keeping them. She apologized profusely and said she deleted it.\n\nWe kept in touch for a few months after that, but I slowly cut off communication as I kind of resented her for the fact that she recorded me without telling me.\n\nNow, I know she said she deleted it. I guess my fear comes from the fact that I'll never know if she deleted it. The first month after it happened was the worst for me. I was pretty scared. After that I pretty much forgot about it and only recently thought about it again. I could probably get in touch with her if I wanted to, but not sure if that's a good idea. She never threatened me or anything, but I'm still worried. \n\nAny thoughts or advice? I guess I'm scared that it might pop up on the Internet 10+ years from now. Maybe I have anxiety issues? I've been known to dwell over things for a long time. For example, over the last week, I've been thinking about this almost constantly. Oh and yes, I definitely learned my lesson.", "summary": "I had a friend I met online. She sent me nudes. We masurbated on webcam. She recorded it and when I found out she said she deleted it. Still worried, what should I do? Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_hfly9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Not getting a loving vibe from my girlfriend anymore. Don't know what to think.", "post": "I'm 18, she's 18. We've been together for over a year now. Maybe it's because we've both been busy and haven't been able to spend much time talking (we're long distance) but I just don't feel like she's as interested in me as I am in her. \n\nI feel recently that I'm the one that makes any effort to talk at all. She recently got a full-time job. When she comes home though she plays Guild Wars and surfs the internet a lot. On a work day I can understand she's tired and just wants to escape. However, there have been a few times in the past when I've come home after she's had a day off and I text her saying \"Hey, how are you?\" only to get a response five-six hours later saying \"I've been playing Guild Wars all day, lol\" My thoughts here are usually \"You can't spare five goddamn minutes from this game to check your phone and/or Skype?\" but I say nothing of it since she's fully entitled to spending her time alone and away from me on a day off but it's getting on *my* nerves.\n\nI haven't said anything about this to her or how it bothers me for fear it would make me seem clingy but it bugs the hell out of me that she hasn't been taking any initiative lately to talk to me.\n\nTomorrow she gets her first long weekend off (as in more than a day) so I'll see if it gets better then.", "summary": "My girlfriend doesn't seem to like spending as much time with me anymore. Might just be because she's suddenly gotten busier."} {"id": "t3_15nvts", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[24/m] My gf (22/f)is spending New Year's Eve with an ex instead of me. Should I approach one of them about how I feel?", "post": "Throwaway. We've been going out for a little over two months now and for the holidays she's been away to see family. She doesn't get to see them a whole lot because they live in different states so that bit doesn't bother me at all. However she mentioned that she was going to a place with a friend on New Years Eve who what I've gathered is an ex. The reason why this is irking me so bad is because I was cheated on for a significant amount of time during a previous relationship that lasted two years. The ex lives on the other side of the country who is also visiting family where my gf is now so nothing to worry about them getting back together, but I can't help but think a late night fling could happen. \n\nI'm starting to get emotionally invested with this girl and I haven't genuinely felt like this towards someone since that two year relationship (it's been four years since it ended). I want to talk about this with my gf but I don't want to sound like I'm assuming she's going to cheat. Their is the total possibility that I'm over thinking all of this and nothing will happen except an honest night of fun. What should I say to my gf? Should I contact the guy?", "summary": "Gf is going out with an ex for New Year's eve and it's freaking me out. How can I talk to her about it without sounding like a total jerkwad. "} {"id": "t3_2gt0au", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [21 F] 3 weeks, Is she actually into me?", "post": "First of all, i havent really been in a serious relationship before whilst she has had a few serious relationships. This is kinda the first real thing i've had in a long time\n\nBasically i've been seeing this girl for roughly 3 weeks, and we do anything a normal couple would but i feel as if i like her way more than she likes me. I feel that when we're not in each others presence she is always so distant and never really wants to talk i want to message her that i'm actually crazy about her but she wants to take everything so slow and said it's way to early to get emotional and stuff with each other. I don't know if she really is into me, i'm pretty sure i just over analyse everything she does. I want to ask her if she really does like me and if she does want to be serious but i don't really know how to say it without coming across so needy. \n\nSorry the grammar and everything is probably terrible.", "summary": "Seeing a girl for a short amount of time but not sure if she actually wants anything serious and not sure how to ask her."} {"id": "t3_l8srp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I tell this girl i like her?", "post": "Hello, fellow redditors. Like many of you, I like a girl. But not like so many of you probably, I have never told a girl before that I like her. I am a 20 year old guy, good looking from what i've been told, funny and with lots of pros on my side, and obviously, cons as well.\nI had some girlfriends already, and they were girls that came after me. I never really went after a girl, nor liked a girl enough to tell her. \nBut here I am, right on the age where i that it would start to be difficult to find a girl that fits my 'requirements'. \nI am really nervous about this, because despite not knowing her for long (we are both freshers from the same university course), i get along with her pretty well, we've hanged out with the same group of people, and we talk freely and have a good time when together. I never had the chance to be alone with her so far.. but the other day I went out for dinner with her and another friend. She complimented me sometimes throughout the night about my clothes, and even that i have a nice voice to sing. This may sound too clich\u00e9, but despite knowing many girls.. she has this way of being herself that is quite genuine (and i love it). and well.. she's quite cute too :)\n\nSorry if this is", "summary": "for you guys.. but I would really appreciate your opinion on this.. I want to tell her i like her.. but I don't know how, and in what circumstances !"} {"id": "t3_1uvws3", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[M/17] This is making me feel like a terrible person", "post": "I'm a 17 year old male in my senior year of high school. I've been dating a girl for about two years, who is the same age as me, with a difference of about 2 months. (I'll call her J)\n\nJ, quite frankly, emotionally abusive. I've been trying to get out of the relationship for quite a while (about 6 months) and I finally managed to get out a couple months ago. However, after getting through this, she revealed to me that she was pregnant (She was not lying about this). Because of this, I agreed to try and make the relationship work again. \n\nThis, obviously, did not work. Our relationship began to unravel quickly, and I can't stay in this relationship for much longer. However I want to give the child the best life possible! To me, that probably means adoption. I don't trust her to J care of the child (We don't know the gender yet), and I don't have the time, money, or emotional maturity to take care of them either. She doesn't want to 'give up' her child, though. She sees the child as a 'saving grace' or a 'second chance'. She thinks that the child will help her pull herself out of her depression and bipolar. I've seen her get angry. She can become violent and irrational, and I'm scared that she would do something, accidentally or on purpose, to hurt them.\n\nOf course, because life can't ever be simple, there's more to this. I met a girl that I really like. (I'll call her M) We click on so many levels, and I find her really attractive, in almost every way! She's expressed that she feels the same way, and has just gotten out of a bad relationship. \n\nThis complicates things. I still haven't gotten completely out with J, and I don't want to hurt M. But I can't stop thinking about her, and it's driving me insane trying to figure out what I should do. \n\nSo now this brings me here. I need help. Opinions are the most valuable resource to me right now, and I want to hear some from you guys. What do I do?", "summary": "I got my psychotic girlfriend pregnant, realized I didn't want to be with her anymore, and started hitting on another girl. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1su291", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I had lunch with an ex and now my boyfriend is acting distant and going out with another girl tonight. Did I fuck up? [F26][M27]", "post": "A week ago, an ex called me and asked if I'd like to have lunch with him sometime. We broke up awhile back ago and have remained friends since our breakup. We're both in relationships and don't have feelings for each other anymore, so I figured it was no big deal. I mentioned to my boyfriend of six months that I was going to have lunch with an ex, so that we could catch up. I also explained that it was completely platonic and that he had nothing to worry about because we no longer had feelings for each other. He didn't say much but he seemed okay with it.\n\nI went to lunch with my ex on Monday and ever since then, he's started hanging out with a new girl he met through mutual friends. I've never met her but I've seen her FB picture. She's really pretty and she seems super funny, so I can see why my boyfriend might like her.\n\nAnyway, this morning, I asked him if he wanted to hang out tonight and he said he couldn't because he already made plans. Well, come to find out, he and this girl are going to dinner tonight and then hanging out at her place with her group of friends. I then asked if he'd like to go out for breakfast tomorrow morning and he declined saying he didn't want to get up early because he'd probably come home late/hungover. I almost feel like he's trying to get back at me for going out to lunch with my ex, especially since he started acting distant right after it happened. \n\nI guess I'm wondering.. Does this seem a little bit inappropriate? I'm afraid I'm going to come off as a jealous girlfriend. I just need an objective opinion. Thanks!", "summary": "I went to lunch with an ex on Monday and now my boyfriend is hanging out with a pretty female friend. I kind of feel like he's trying to get back at me."} {"id": "t3_4e96pe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26F] with my husband [30M], he's been sexting other women, and I don't know what else. Is my marriage salvageable?", "post": "So I've only been married to my husband for 4 months; we dated for 4 years. I've always let him do whatever he wants, even visit strip clubs, as long as he doesn't get intimate with anyone else.\n\nHis work usually requires him to travel 50-60% of the time. So he's been gone for the past week, and this weekend, things seemed off with a couple of things he said (like going to bed at 9 pm, but sleeping until 11 am). Today, I ended up logging into our cellphone account and checking his logs. He'd been texting other people until 5 or 6 am.\n\nWhen we spoke over the phone this morning, I didn't immediately confront him about it; I just told him I was upset with him and he knew what he did. He just played dumb the entire day, even when I finally said I knew he was sexting other people (about an hour ago). I had to say I looked at his fucking logs before he admitted to it.\n\nApparently, he's done it throughout our entire relationship. It sounds like he's addicted to it. He also said he's never slept with any of the woman, but I can't even believe that since it was so difficult to get him to admit to just sexting (immense shame was his excuse). He said he'd try anything to make it work, even switching to a job that doesn't require travel. If he would have come clean today, I think we could have worked through it, but I'm not so sure anymore.\n\nI feel like I already know what you're all going to say since I lurk on this subreddit a lot, but can my marriage be salvaged or should I just not even try?", "summary": "Husband couldn't admit to sexting other women when I gave him a chance to. Don't know if I can ever trust him again."} {"id": "t3_3npfyn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my GF [24 F] of 5 yrs - Need advice on possibly breaking up", "post": "Using a throwaway for this. Also posting from mobile so I apologize for any screwy words.\n\nWe have been together for 5 yrs. She is not from the area at all. Her family is 1200 miles away. We have lived together for 3.5 out of 5 years we have been together. I am contemplating breaking up with her but the house is mine.. in my name.. I pay for it.. etc. I don't want to ask her to move out immediately because she has no where to go on short notice. Hell I'm not sure if she has anywhere to go on longer notice. Her job is here and she loves it. She does not want to go back with her family either. Idk how to handle this.\n\nWe don't dislike each other but over time we have grown apart. Just feel like friends. Sex hasn't happened in a really long time (7 months or so). We have different views on life but we still get along, jus no love or pasion for eithe one of us. We have had discussions in the past about how we feel but a break up would be shocking to her. I think that she has always believed I wouldn't break up with her because she has no where to go. \n\nI just don't know how to break up with her and still give her time to get her affairs in order before asking her to move out. I am a nice person so while I will probably crush her soul with a break up.. I feel I can't just ask her to leave without notice.\n\nPlease help", "summary": "might break up with gf of 5 yrs. We live together. How do I do it so she has time to find a place to go, etc?"} {"id": "t3_wml3g", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "One time I told a pair of girls they should post to gone wild forgetting I am not on Reddit. What moment in your life did your forget you are not on the Internet?", "post": "So about a month ago I got really sick with the flu and could not go anywhere. So I just stayed in my bed and got on reddit. I ended up being sick for two weeks and Reddit was the only website I went on for those two weeks. I then got better and went to a Football game my school was having. I was hanging out with my friends and these girls we met. They were talking and joking about how they would make a good lesbian couple. Then I said that they should kiss and post it to gone wild. I finally realized what I said and let's just say things got awkward.", "summary": "After being on Reddit for about two weeks straight I told a pair of girls they should kiss and post it to gone wild."} {"id": "t3_4ofly7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my best friend [21F] of 6 years did i went too far?", "post": "So we have a 6 year friendship relationship and we tell eachother pretty much everything, she knew that i had some feelings for her and wanted more than a friendship but she didn't.\n\nNow on my birthday she sent me a letter writing about why we can't be more than friends. Her birthday is up and i sent her a real heart-felt letter answering to her question \"if we should remain friends if i have feelings for her\".\n\nNow this letter at the time I didn't thought it was intense but looking back to my best friend it might come as a shock and too powerful, I wrote about the times she broke my heart when she hooked up with friends of mine, but at the same time told her that it wasn't her fault.\n\nBasically i wrote 8 pages about that and the frustration and how much i loved her and now she barely answers my texts, did i went too far by telling her what i really thought about our relationship?\n\nUrgh i don't know what to do, kinda need help here guys and gals", "summary": "6 years of friendship that i was in love with her told her how i felt in a letter now she doesn't reply to my texts."} {"id": "t3_y884t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "bf [22] responding to craigslist posts behind my [24] back", "post": "I f[24] have been with my boyfriend [22] for about five months now. We began as a casual hook up and it slowly progressed into a relationship. During that time he talked to many other girls but there was no commitment between us so I wasn't too bothered. It did however, make me question how much I trust him because he rarely told me about these girls, even when we began to get much more serious. This fear was confirmed when I caught a glimpse of his email account. He had numbers emails from craigslist posts, and he had responded to many of them looking to meet up. I don't know what to do about this because I realize I shouldn't have seen his emails and because of this I don't want to admit that I violated his privacy. I'm at a total loss here on how to deal with it.", "summary": "Found out boyfriend of five months is looking for casual encounters on craigslist behind my back. How do I deal with this/confront him?"} {"id": "t3_aextv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I need some advice. I am in a tight spot.....", "post": "So my issue is pretty complicated, and I need some advice. We made some crazy financial decisions when I still had a great job, but due to the economy I am now working at a call center for much less. My GF and I currently live in a small town in WV were we both work for $10 an hour (each). I have an opportunity to take a job in NYC for $60K in my field. We have very little money, we are behind on our bills, and I am not sure if we can even get even or out of the hole at our current pay. When I had my previous job these bills were easily paid, but now...... A breakdown:\n\nWe pay: 500 for rent 433 for Car #1 (11K left on loan) 328 for Car #2 (2.5K left on loan) 323 for insurance (Just turned 25) 200 for AT&T (iPhones) 250 for Electricity, Water, Heat 225 Student Loans 100 Internet Cable 19 Home Phone\n\nTotal Bills: $2378 (avg)\n\nOur credit is screwed, we have moved 4 times in 1 year (not our fault, rentals being sold), and we have maybe $300 to our name.\n\nSo here is the question. Do we move to NYC for the new job? I can crash at a friends place for a month or two up there to save up the first few paychecks. Maybe find a place in Brooklyn for like $1,500, cut the iPhones off, cut the cable, get rid of the $433 a month car, pay off the $328 car and go to liability only. Or, do we stay here and just try to make it work, try and spend a year out of the field, and somehow catch up. I am so lost. Help!!!", "summary": "We have a shit load of debt, stay in small town with no prospects or move to big city for better job?"} {"id": "t3_jr9tx", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Might be a victim of identity theft but have never used any services from a bank", "post": "I was looking to open my first credit card a few weeks ago and the clerk informed me that my SSN was used by another person at the same bank to open an account. He was very reserved about what he could and could not disclose to me about the person even after I went to the SS office for a verification of my number. Instead of opening a credit card like I had hoped, the representative suggested a debit card which is what I have currently. However, I am still in the dark when it comes to the standing of my credit. Although my first personal and legitimate transaction with any sort of bank only recently occurred, it seems as if someone has already opened at least one account under my name. I've attempted to call TransUnion and made an account on their website to try to smooth out my identity theft mishap but they require a credit card number to go any further. I might be a little paranoid because this is my first stab into finance, so I need another take on my situation. What should I do from here? I know somebody other than myself is in possession of my SSN but I'm feeling helpless about what I can do about it since everything I've looked up on comes back to establishing a credit report first.", "summary": "Never opened a bank account before, but someone else has under my SSN and may be using it for many other criminal devices. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_3hamhb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [25F] worried my 8 month exclusive relationship with [26M] is a rebound for convenience.", "post": "I met the man of my dreams several years ago and we became social media friends since we were both in relationships. I watched him date about two other girls this way. His last relationship was very serious and meant a lot to him. They broke up in July of 2014. I saw him at a bar in September of that year and after a few innocent meet ups we became friends with benefits. \n\n-----\n\n We continued to see other people until January when we became exclusive. I worry this was not enough time for him to fully get over her. He has told me that she is the only ex he cares about. I lurk their past relationship and it seems so different than ours. He was constantly boasting about how beautiful she was and he very rarely even tells me in person i am beautiful. They took many trips together and he was always posting about \"his woman\". Other men are constantly complimenting me and begging for a chance.\n\n----\n\n \nWe live together and he has told me he loves me many times but it just doesn't seem as passionate as his last. We recently became \"fb official\" and he wasn't thrilled about it. His career does require him to have a public persona, which he didn't have back then. If i get upset or jealous he takes me seriously and reassures me i am the only one. But i just feel deep in my heart he is with me for convenience and is not in love with me. What should i do? \n\n----\n\n \nI love him madly i wanna have his babies but i don't want to miss out on a man who only dreams of me. Am i a rebound?", "summary": "my boyfriend isn't as proud of me on social media as his last gf. They were only broken up for months before we started sleeping together before eventually getting serious. Am i wasting my time as a rebound?"} {"id": "t3_2atjhf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[20M] girlfriend [21F] of 2.5 years has a friend who is into incest, but she's still friends with him and that makes me uncomfortable", "post": "My girlfriend recently told me about one of her friends who was sexually attracted to his sister, and it's really starting to bug me that she is still affiliated with him. I don't want to come off as some guy who thinks he's too good to hang out with people who are into that, but am I really wrong for feeling the way I do? It makes me so uncomfortable to know that my girlfriend still talks to him and is able to call him a good friend. To be fair, I've never met the guy. She claims that he's genuinely a good guy, and that it's just the incestuous relationship with his sister that is blinding my perception of him.\n\nI know that I shouldn't just judge him based solely on the fact that he has a sexual relationship with his sister. My girlfriend said that she was \"scarred\" when he told her about this secret, but she can't toss him aside just because of it, which makes sense. I can't ask her to just give him the cold shoulder and leave him behind just because I said so. I want to believe wholeheartedly that he is a decent guy and all that jazz, but I still can't get over it. In the end, my girlfriend and I decided that it would be in both of our best interests that she doesn't make an effort to talk to him, but still be friends with him.", "summary": "My girlfriend has a friend who has an incestuous relationship with his sister and it bugs me that she's still good friends with him. Are there any other solutions to make my girlfriend and I feel more comfortable in this situation?"} {"id": "t3_206ccb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24/F] just found out my LDR boyfriend of 3 years [23/M] has slept with multiple women in the past 6 months. Stuck with him in his country until my flight, help", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nI'm a long time lurker of this subreddit, never thought I'd be posting something like this here but I know you are all so helpful and I feel I've no one else to turn to right now.\n\nI've been in a long distance relationship with my bf for almost 4 years. Ups and downs, as in all relationships, and 8 months ago I found out he cheated on me (kissed an old friend of his).\n\nThis devastated me, but I took him back as I believe mistakes happen, and people deserve second chances - he swore it was only a drunken kiss. The past month has been incredible, but today (I am in his country the past 2 weeks) I read an old message on his phone from last November saying, 'fucked another girl last night mate, shit that's 3 now'. Obviously confronted him, massive screaming on my part, and he admits he slept with 4 people between September and December last year. Finally get out of him, that the first was the friend he kissed. \n\nObviously, I'm not stupid enough to ever forgive/take back his disgusting cheating ass.\n\nBut because we're long distance, I'm stuck in his country until next Saturday, I can't get a flight home earlier as these were booked months in advance for price. I've booked a hotel in his town for tomorrow night so I can leave immediately but stuck in his for tonight (it's midnight here), and can't afford hotels for another week.\n\nPlease Reddit, what the hell do I do from here.. Stuck in a foreign country by myself and distraught. No idea how to continue on from here? Any advice?", "summary": "Found out LDR bf cheated multiple times last year, ended things but stuck in his country where I know no one for another 11 nights"} {"id": "t3_fkwkf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Pot Cookie: Is it normal to hallucinate and have memory loss when you were high?", "post": "Let me preface this by saying I get high rarely (I don't have the time) and I'm not a spiritual person. But last Friday night I had arguably the most intense/beautiful experiences of my life.\n\nI ate 1/2 a pot cookie on Friday night. I don't remember much of what happened after the effect started kicking in except I was very laid back and happy which is normal because I've been high before.\n\n//The rest of this sounds like stoner talk I know\nAfter getting a whole bunch of junk food from Subway and Papa Johns, I found myself sitting on chair in my room at home. All of a sudden I had a *very* *very* strange hallucination... I felt like I was in the presence of some being, I can hardly describe it. She was female (had blue skin). She spoke to me for a few moments, it was all very lovely things, nothing bad, but it felt like my mind was overwhelmed by what was happening, so I fell out of my chair onto the floor (My arms were flailing around and I started convulsing for a couple of minutes). I then had this orgasmic feeling throughout my body and sense of peace and then passed out. I woke up after the experience and calmly went to bed.\n\nI woke up the next morning. I was trying to meditate (just to process/remember what happend) when all of a sudden I remember seeing the blue lady and I start convulsing and pass out again. Now, no one else saw this but me (I was in my room, alone) and I felt the same orgasmic feeling and sense of peace. I don't believe in any kind of god or deity or supernatural nonsense, but that was the most intense experience I've ever had. Is that fucking normal for a pot cookie?", "summary": "I ate a pot cookie, saw a blue lady in a hallucination and passed out because the experience/emotions were just too much"} {"id": "t3_1ap7hf", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "22/M went on a fantastic date with a woman (23), but now she just wants to be friends", "post": "A coworker and I have been flirting with each other for a little over a month, and I took her out for a lunch date on Monday. I took her to a Thai restaurant that she had never been to, we had a great time and spent about 6 hours hanging out after we ate lunch. Great chemistry and I really feel like we had a strong connection, but she texted me today that while she enjoyed it, she just wants to remain friends, saying her life is too crazy for a boyfriend right now. I really want to keep dating her romantically though, how should I proceed?", "summary": "Took a coworker out for a lunch date, we both had a great time, now she just wants to remain friends. What do"} {"id": "t3_2keipm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25M] met an amazing girl [27F] but its complicated", "post": "I recently met a wonderful lady and the two of us just clicked on our first date. After three dates and only knowing each other a week, we decided we wanted to be in a relationship. After less than a week of being together, she tells me she thought she was ready for a relationship/dating but isn't...here's where it gets complicated. She just got out of a relationship a few months ago and isn't fully healed from the scars of that relationship (her words). She was also pregnant last year but had a miscarriage and still thinks about that all the time (the baby would have been 1 this year). She didnt think it would be fair to be in a relationship while she was still thinking about all that stuff and while I was a little sad we had to end things I wanted what was best for her. \n\nWe've decided to stay friends but here is where I'm struggling. I feel like I've forgotten how to talk to her. Everytime we talk, everything I want to say to her is too close to relationship-type talk and I do not want her to feel uncomfortable or awkward. I also want to do little things for her to show her I still care and that I'm not going anywhere. I really care about this girl a lot but I don't know the best way to show it without being overbearing or sending the wrong type of message. Any advice you ladies have is greatly appriciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this.", "summary": "Met an amazing girl but she isn't ready for a relationship, wants to stay friends for now...but i dont know how to show her I still care/not going anywhere"} {"id": "t3_2j4nwc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (28/m) like this girl (18/f) that I work with but my life isn't really in order....", "post": "I've been working with this girl for 6 months now and we get along great. We don't talk or hang out outside of work, but I really enjoy spending time with her.\n\nIt is only recently that I have started thinking about her as more than a friend and I would like to get to know her more outside of work and such, but there are some issues I am worried about.\n\nAs I said, my life is not exactly in order. I got out of a relationship a year ago and at the end I had no car, lost my savings, and am now living with her step-dad(paying rent though) so that may not be such a great thing. But I have a vehicle now too at least but its not that great. \n\nThe age thing is weird. I mean, my parents met at 18 and 28, so it happens, but it is something to consider. Her level of maturity, life experience, etc. \n\nThat being said though, as of now I wouldn't be expecting a huge thing from it such as us building a life together, getting, married, etc.\nNo, I was just thinking of it as someone to get to know, go out with, and see what happens. Especially since I've only had one seriously girlfriend in my life. \n\nI have no idea if I would be her type or how she feels at all. I'm not in the best shape but I wouldn't say I am ugly. Who knows what her opinion is.\n\nSo am I worried about rejection? No I cant say that is what I'm worried about. I could handle that, but I wouldn't want to ruin what we do have as co-workers/friends. I wouldn't change how I treat her if she said no, but I don't know about her. \n\nBasically I don't know how to go about it or if it's worth it at all. Ive never had to deal with this before lol. My last and only relationship was one that lasted 7 years and just kinda happened.", "summary": "Crushing on a co-worker but my life isn't exactly going that great so not sure if it is worth asking her out."} {"id": "t3_34dhdf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (31M) having a never ending internal battle trying to decide which woman to be with. Please don't judge me,your help is greatly appreciated.", "post": "Hi guys,\n\nLong story short, Im an 31 year old male and I broke up with my ex girlfriend of 9 years about 2 years ago. Reasons for the breakup were that I wasn't convinced she loved me because of certain things I experienced with her and that in turn caused me to pull back which made things worse. Our relationship was a tonne of fun, I felt like we connected on a different level. Which is why the breakup was hard for me, I was convinced it was the right thing to do at the time given all I had seen. For the record she was always faithful, she was just a selfish person at times and could be mean with a bit of alcohol. \n\nFast forward to a couple of months after the breakup and I meet the girl who I felt was perfect for me. She immediately fit in with my friends and family, loved me the way I needed, gave me everything I could ask for. A real perfect and wholesome girl. It was literally everything i wanted in a partner. But the connection I had with the first person was stronger even though I wasn't any happier.\n\nI see my ex as my soulmate and my current girlfriend as a great life partner. I miss my ex and i sometimes wonder if I was fair with her with the way things ended. I can't say I gave her much of a chance. And that part is eating away at me. I mean I was ready to propose at some point and we were very close to buying a house together. I'm sure that if I contacted her again she would want to work things out together. \n\nI know I should be happy but I'm not and I can't figure out how to handle all this. I need help!", "summary": "I feel guilty for breaking up with my ex and I would feel guilty breaking up with my current girlfriend to be with my ex. Im stuck. Help!"} {"id": "t3_149y8z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (26m) decided to leave a party early because my friends constantly teased him. I decided to stay (24f) and now he is cold towards me.", "post": "We have been together for 6 months.\n\nMy boyfriend and I went to a party to celebrate my friends' new job. When we arrived I introduced my boyfriend to my friends and they seemed to hit it off really well. About an hour into the party, a few of my guy friends started teasing my boyfriend about him never have and never willing to consume alcohol. They proceeded to call him a \"pussy\" in a jokingly manner and it made my boyfriend wanting to leave the party early. He told me \"let's leave. I don't want to hang out with these guys anymore\", but I refused to leave the party and told him that my friends were just joking with him, but he wouldn't have it and left by himself. I got really pissed at him for leaving me at the party and decided to stay a few extra hours longer than we had planned just to spite him, but I realize now that what I did was childish. I called him to pick me up and the entire ride to my apartment he was just completely silent with me.\n\nShould I have left the party early with him? My boyfriend is a pretty sensitive guy and sometimes small things that are joked about do sometimes get to him. I just feel that the way my friends called him a \"pussy\" was done in such a way that was not meant to be hurtful. He hasn't spoken to me since that night which was this past Saturday and I do not know if I should be calling him to apologize or if I should just let him get over it eventually. I did apologize for staying at the party later than originally planned, but I did not apologize for staying at the party after he left. Does he feel that I chose my friends over him? I am so confused.", "summary": "My boyfriend left a party early because my friends teased him calling him a pussy. Wanted to leave the party with me, but I decided to stay which pissed him off."} {"id": "t3_54gflc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] and the girl [19F] I've been dating for 5 months have decided to stop seeing eachother. I don't know how to cope.", "post": "Ever since a house party in May we've been texting every single day. The thing is, I'm the first guy she's been with since her previous relationship, which lasted 2,5 years. We visited each other twice a week, it started with regular dates but later it was just hanging out and being with each other. We loved spending time together and I thought this was meant to be.\n\nSo 4 weeks ago, I asked her what she thought of being in a relationship with me. In all fairness, it already felt like we were in a relationship. We shared everything with each other and the time we had together was just so loving and all that. She explained to me that she didn't want a relationship because she wanted to be free after such a long relationship. At that moment I felt heartbroken and didn't really know what was to happen next. After that conversation we still hung out and just had a good time together, like before.\n\nI just couldn't do it anymore though... knowing that she didn't want to be in a relationship. So yesterday I asked her what was to happen next, cause it's been causing me so much stress not knowing what our future would be. It came to the conclusion that she still didn't want a relationship.\nI couldn't do it anymore. It affected me in such a way that I was constantly hurt because I knew there was no future.\n\nRight now I don't know what to do anymore. I can't imagine not seeing her anymore, but we agreed that it's best for both of us if we stop seeing eachother. Today we laid in bed and cried all day because we knew it would be the last time we would see eachother.\nI just don't know what to do or feel. I've never felt this sad and knowing I won't see her anymore hurts so much. I love her and I just don't understand why she doesn't want to be with me anymore.\nIm sorry for the incoherent story but I just wanted to get this off my chest.", "summary": "the girl I love doesn't want to be in a relationship right now because of her previous relationship. I don't know how to cope with not seeing her anymore."} {"id": "t3_472xg6", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Netflix and chill as 1st date", "post": "So I started talking to this girl at a party saturday night. I was pretty drunk, but she was sober and had to leave early (around 23/11pm.) Somehow we hit it off pretty well and the following afternoon I awoke with some text messages where she asked me to add her on snapchat. After snapping for a couple of hours I asked her what she was doing this week (it's winter break here) and she replied that she didn't really have any plans monday through wednesday. I replied that I was working nights monday and wednesday. Now this is where I was caught off hand.. She asks me if she could come to my house tuesday night to watch a movie. I'm relatively inexperienced and agreed happily, but I'm not a kid and I know what this entails. We talked a bit back and forth about what movie to watch, but then she mentions that she doesn't really care what movie we watch. (This was all through snapchat)\n\nNow I'm getting super nervous thinking of all the things that could go wrong. Any advice for my tuesday night netflix and chill?", "summary": "girl talked me into netflix and chill the day after I met her. I'm an 18 year old inexperienced student. Advice?"} {"id": "t3_v7ihj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Do auto insurance companies check if your license is valid when a claim is filed?", "post": "Few days ago I was involved in a very minimal damage fender bender while leaving a parking garage. The other driver initially wanted to skip the insurance company and just pay for the repair. After seeing the bill he decided he'd rather go with the insurance company. \nProblem is that my license is currently suspended because I got a ticket while I was in my \"probation period.\" I never got a restricted license and well here I am now... I'm afraid that if we go through insurance I might get in trouble with the DMV/state etc... can someone in insurance shed some light on what happens when a claim is filed with an auto insurance company?", "summary": "I was involved in an accident while my license was suspended and i'm afraid the insurance company will try to screw me if we file with them."} {"id": "t3_2cjn97", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 F] and him [23 m] 2 years friendship about to go down the drain", "post": "We met 2 years ago on the first day of work. \n\nI unfortunately fell for him and he decided to lead me on. Now my normal core reaction to never talk to that person again. Well this time it was different. I did everything possible to forgive. We managed to form some semblance of a friendship. Granted I have to do all the calling, asking, waiting and planning for us to hangout. \n\nNow you would think that if he was going to go off and get a girlfriend he would tell me. We hangout every other week so you would think he would mention this. Nope! Didn't mention it once. \n\nNow when we go out everyone thinks we are together. Walking close, whispering in my ear, the accidental bumps into me. Constantly looking at me big pouting eyes. \n\nAm I being ridiculous for being upset he didn't mention this?", "summary": "friends for two years and we hangout every other week. Am I wrong for being upset he didn't tell me about his new girl friend?"} {"id": "t3_3nf0kd", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Should I spend more money going to a more well known school?", "post": "I'm finishing up my last year at a CC in California and applying to schools to transfer to. I'm kind of lost as to where I should attend because I'm not sure if employers care where you get your degree from. \n\nFor example, I'm majoring in chemistry and I'm applying to Csun, Cal Poly SLO, and Ucsb. Csun is a cheap school that I can commute 20 minutes to, but isnt widely known for their science department. SLO is cheaper than a UC, has a great science department, and it fairly well known. Ucsb has a good science department, but the most expensive out of my choices. \n\nI'm assuming this question will differ amongst majors, but I would still appreciate some guidance. Thanks in advance!", "summary": "should I spend 31k a year at a UC or spend less than that to go to a less \"prestigious\" school."} {"id": "t3_4vw3oz", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Different Colleges", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 & half years. We first got together in Sophomore year of High School and we're now starting college, however we're going to different colleges. I'm afraid of this whole new change. Many people tell me college changes you and creates a while different person, I'm afraid of her losing feelings or just changing on me completely. At the same time I want her to have the best college experience she can have and to not limit herself because of me and to live it up. And breaking up with her is not an option. \n\nWe have both talked about this topic many many times, it gets emotional and she understands exactly how I feel because she feels the same way. She's also afraid of me falling for another girl in college that may have the same interests as me or a girl that may be better than her. I do my best at assuring her of that not happening and telling her to think positively not thinking of the worse case scenarios. However we both try to have the confidence in ourselves of getting through college as a couple but still are afraid of what could happen. People say if it's meant to be it's meant to be. I've been trying to not think about this and push it off til it comes to my mind again. I needed to let this out and I need advice. Does anyone have advice on this situation?", "summary": "Girlfriend and I are afraid of going to different colleges and are afraid either of us will change and put our relationship at risk. Breaking up isn't an option. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_1t42ue", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I Need Tips On How To Get To Know A Girl... PLEASE HELP!", "post": "I am a sophomore, she is also a sophomore. We'll call her \"Katie\". I just move to a new town, away from my family to live with my grandparents because I was fighting with my stepfather. Anyways, I am here to stay. There is this REALLY cute girl who is into video games, dance, etc., and she is SUPER cute. I think she is in my league, but, everytime I speak to her, I don't know how to transition into getting her number. I talk to her on the bus, but besides that, I don't have ANY classes with her. I have no opportunity to get closer to her, so I guess my only option is to get her number. Another factor is that I am new to the school, so It's not like I can ask a friend or something. I am rather smooth, I am a reasonably good looking on a good day, dress nicely, good hygiene, and rather outgoing. It is just a situation I do not know how to tackle. So, please, help me. My name is Christian.", "summary": "I NEED TO GET A PHONE NUMBER FROM A GIRL I BARELY KNOW, I HAVE INTENTIONS TO DATE"} {"id": "t3_476msm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30F] with my sister [18F] 18 yrs, my sister had a mental breakdown and is in a bad state, I don't know how to handle this.", "post": "Anne was recently taken to a mental health unit a few days ago after having a psychotic episode involving the police. She wasn't too bad in the general hospital but after being transferred to a psych ward (had to be done by law) she became very aggressive to the nurses to the point that they had to stand around her to make sure she didn't hurt anyone or herself.\n\nTonight I phoned her and she sounded nothing like her usual level headed stuff. Her speech was slurred and she was indifferent to me, saying that she didn't care to see me if I visited. There were random statements from her that didn't make sense. She swore at me in a mumbling way and then the phone conversation ended.\n\nI know she's not herself right now but I feel like if she doesn't want me to pay a visit to the hospital then I won't. Of course, i'm somewhat upset about this as we'd once been close. I am thinking of giving up on her. She has our mother and grandmother's support, and a lot of relatives too, so at least there's that. I would like some advice as to how to move forward from this. \n\nI've always wanted to help out family and friends whenever I can but I feel like this is futile.", "summary": "My sister is in a psych ward and is pushing me away. I'm hurt and I don't know what I should do - to keep trying or give up."} {"id": "t3_48xvda", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Weird parents; invasion of privacy", "post": "I'm [M21], in college, and currently live at home until I graduate college because it's cheaper to live this way for now. Okay so I recently turned 21 a few months ago and legally bought a few bottles of alcohol, including vodka and whiskey and stored them in my desk. I looked for them earlier today and they are gone. Apparently, my parents raided my desk and took them away. I am confused why they did this, should I be upset, or should I let it go? It feels like my privacy has been invaded more than anything else. I guess I am trying to ask, how to deal with controlling parents without getting in a fight?", "summary": "my parents took my alcohol away from me without me knowing. How do I deal with this so that they don't go through my stuff again?"} {"id": "t3_1nlgc1", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I'm confused about my checking account.", "post": "There's a charge on there that my bank can't tell me what or who it is (or won't) And I have No credit cards, nothing that I have set up for auto draft.. and idk what the hell it is. It's showing up as \"Progressive Rent PMT\" It started in April and I mistook it for the purchase of my bed, which I outright paid for 5 weeks after I bought it. I called around to everyone that I know and they deny charging me for anything. I can't get a hold of anyone that holds my student loans, I don't think it's that, I'm in school so my loans are at a hold. And the RENT part sounds like it's my place of residence. I moved into my new place in MAY and the charges started in APRIL, so I doubt it's them.. and the previous place returned most of my sec deposit so it's not them... My bank is willing to dispute the charge all the way back to April, but idk what it is.", "summary": "Charge that I have no idea wtf is, bank doesn't know either. How can I figure out who and or what this is?"} {"id": "t3_q8a7j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I wrong to feel bad about this?", "post": "So, I've been seeing/dating this girl now for a month (Feb 3rd). Things are going really good. I am 30 she is 27. We got really close last sunday (19th). This past saturday, we were in bed talking. I had asked her if she went on any dates with other people besides me. She said yes. She went on a date with some guy the second week into meeting each other and kissed him, but that there wasn't a real connection. \n\nThis upset me...a lot. I know we're not exclusive and we're just dating right now. Am I wrong to feel bad? Is she wrong for going on another date with someone? She knows how I feel. She feels the same. She doesn't want to jump into anything serious so soon. She says she wants things to happen on their own and not force them so early. \n\nI've been out of the dating game for a long time and I really like this girl. I don't know what to think anymore.", "summary": "I'm a bit upset because a girl I'm only dating/seeing went out on a date with another guy 2 weeks into meeting each other."} {"id": "t3_1gdzyo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I don't want him to hurt anymore..", "post": "Me (19yo) and my best friend(23yo) tried to date... (seeing each other a year.. officially together 1 month) but he is still in love with his ex so it failed. She really hurt him.. and due to his confused feelings he really hurt me.. I am absolutely in love with him. While we will always be friends and care about eachother... I just want him to one day love me the way I love him. One for my selfish reason of wanting to be with him... but mainly, I just don't ever want to see him hurting ever again. We both know nothing can happen right now, we both have personal issues to fix. But I don't want to give up on us.. I don't want him to give up on the possibility of us.", "summary": "I just want him to be happy. I know I can provide that for him.. I just want him to realize that. what do I do? :/"} {"id": "t3_1hkhrs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Dating] I(23F) like my friend/coworker(26F) but am pretty hopeless with dating", "post": "So bear with me here, please.\n\nI (23F) have been talking to a coworker(26F) that I have liked since December/the beginning of this year. In march, I wrote her a letter telling her how I felt about her (because I am 12).\n\n She responded that she had a feeling it was coming but said that she wasn't currently emotionally available. She also told me why. \n\nShe did say she wanted to keep talking and getting to know me because I had become important in her life. Even though I was pretty discouraged we still talked about hung out and texted everyday. \n\nShe does things like playing with my hair at work and touching or rubbing my back. But because I'm so nervous/worried about being turned down I just try and chalk it up to friendliness.\n\nNow that it has been almost 5 months a lot of my friends are telling me I should ask her on a date, but I am really nervous and keep chickening out when trying to do it in person.\n\n I know there isn't a way to tell if she likes me without asking but I was hoping you all would have some advice.", "summary": "really like a coworker/friend, told her once but she said she's not emotionally available, but it's been awhile. Should I try again?"} {"id": "t3_283mg4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of 6 months, he thinks I'm too silly", "post": "My boyfriend mentioned to me earlier that he had to improve his running time to be able to run a marathon; I responded that he was close and that he should go for it. He said, \"maybe in a few years\", and I replied, \"what if your legs fall off?\" as a joke.\n\nHe took offense to this and asked why I always make silly comments or ask silly questions. I told him that I didn't mean anything by it, it didn't mean that I was dismissing him or that I didn't care, it was just me being me. He said he'd like to, \"feel like [he's] talking to an adult sometimes\". \n\nWhen something is serious, I don't make jokes or say silly things; in fact, I'm usually the one who initiates discussion when we have an issue to talk about. We also talk about politics and current events constantly, and I don't speak in a silly way during those conversations.\n\nI truly don't mean to be immature, it's just me being \"light\" in conversation. In this instance, I was really out of things to say; I encouraged him to keep running, he said maybe in a few years, so I made a joke. But that's only my perspective, hence why I am here. \n\nTo me, this hurts because I feel like he doesn't accept me for who I am. I am silly. I am a goof ball. But I pay my bills, I'm on my way to grad school, I take care of my dog... I do everything that is expected of a 22-year-old. Am I worried over nothing? Does this sound like a personality flaw that I should work on or should I work on finding someone who likes me the way I am? How would you feel if your SO was \"silly\"?", "summary": "Boyfriend thinks I'm too silly- should I be more serious or should I find someone who likes my silliness?"} {"id": "t3_42jp5k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I overcome lonely and love for my ex ?", "post": "I [F17] went through a break up almost two months ago with my boyfriend [M17] of one year. I can't feeling very lonely and sometimes empty because of it. My mom is pregnant so I have more responsibilities at home which is stressful. I get no respect from my siblings and it's hard to what my mom in so much pain. I'm usually alone in my room. My friends are too occupied with other things and I don't really have someone who cares for me on emotional level. I don't want to get back together with him but I still miss and love him. My feelings are so strong that I often feel like I'm in pain when I'm alone missing him.\nBeing alone is taking its toll emotionally. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong.", "summary": "How do I move passed the feeling of loneliness when there is no one around who cares? And how do you make having a lost love less painful?"} {"id": "t3_43o9th", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by sneezing.", "post": "This actually happened approximately 5-6 months ago. I'm in high school right now. So I met this girl in my class, let's just call her Rachel. Rachel was a really interesting person to talk to, and I realized that I had almost all my classes with her. So we talked almost all day, she gave me her number, then school was over, and everyone went home. At home I was texting her, we were conversing, and I started to think about how attractive Rachel was. Then while I was on the bus to school I decided in my head that I was going to ask Rachel out. I planned it out in a way, and was pretty nervous. So when we arrive at school I go to class and I see her in class and we talked and hung out etc. Then as we left the class, I was going to just grow some balls, man up, and ask her out. So I said \"Rachel,\" as she was talking to one of her friends. She turned around, and I felt a sneeze coming on. I instantly knew that this was going to be *bad.* When she turned around with her mouth still open from laughing, I unleashed. I sneezed one of the biggest and most snot filled sneezes you've ever seen. And I sneezed *directly* on her face and in her mouth.", "summary": "was interesting in a girl, sneezed in her mouth and on her face, probably never talking to her again."} {"id": "t3_2bpxid", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] with my SO [32M] of maybe two-months, how do I tell him I have HPV with a small case of GW?", "post": "So I went to the lady doc today and got confirmed that I do have HPV with GW. It's a small case of it and I'm getting them removed at my next appointment. Lady doc was very optimistic that I shouldn't have problems after that.\n\nBF is aware that I've been exposed to HPV but not the GW part. We have not had sex yet (and it's super frustrating) but I told him I don't want to put him at risk and he understood. He's been very patient (as patient as someone can be in a new relationship anyways).\n\nHere's the issue. I know I'm going to tell him that I have HPV. My question is, how do I tell him that I have a small case of GW caused by that strain of HPV and may not be able to get it removed until August (or even POSSIBLY September)? \n\nI'm GOING to tell him. I'm just looking for the best possible way so that I don't mess this up.", "summary": "How do I [21F] tell my SO [32M] that I have HPV with a small case of GW without scaring him off?"} {"id": "t3_2gi0qr", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Fight over board game", "post": "Hello Reddit,\n\nBackground info, I have been dating a woman for about a year and a half, we are both in our early 30s.\nMy girlfriend and I went to my younger brothers place to hang out and play some board/card games. My girlfriend brought over a new game she got, and hadn't even opened yet. We played the game, and toward the end of the game everyone, but her, had at least two points (game ends when someone hits 4). I made a move that would prevent her from winning a round and get one point, but would get me my third point. Once i did that she was pissed, and was visibly upset for the rest of the evening. She would not look at me, and didn't want me to touch her.\nWhen we got home, we got into a fight, because she felt like she was being picked on. She felt stupid and embarrassed that she brought a game and didn't get a single point. She felt like she was being ganged up on, and ended up not having fun because she was beaten so badly.\n\nMy argument was, that I was just playing the game. I didn't target her, I was targeting someone who could have beaten me that round. She said I should have thrown the round just so she could have gotten one point and thus would have had fun.\n\nI feel like she is being a sore looser, and poor sport. She feels like i was being inconsiderate and mean.\n\nI have played many games where i loose, and i think nothing of it. I play a card game with friends where they beat me 90% of the time, and i keep playing with them. \n\nWhat is your opinion? Was i being to competitive? or is she being a sore looser?\n\nThanks!", "summary": "Fight over board game, She got dead last. She says I should have thrown a round to give her at least one point. I think we played a game, and she is being a sore looser."} {"id": "t3_3d2ffb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] and my GF [19 F] dated for 8 months and she broke up with me because she's not ready and wants to be single", "post": "My ex and I met almost 2 years ago\n\nWe go to the same school and live in the same dorms\n\nWe started out as best friends but part of me always liked her as more than that\n\nI never thought she liked me that way until we both got drunk and hooked up at a party\n\nAfter that we just stared developing a relationship and finally she agreed to be my girlfriend\n\nWe had a great relationship for the first few months and were very happy together\n\nThen she started to get distant and would blow me off to go out with her friends or leave me waiting for hours after she told me we would hang out\n\nWe started fighting a lot and she broke up with me saying she's not ready for a relationship\n\nIt was very upsetting because I was putting so much effort into our relationship and she was putting barely any in but that still hasn't made me stop loving her. \n\nI know she's still very immature and I need to let her do some growing up before I think about trying to get back together with her although thats what I really want\n\nThe problem is she wants us to be best friends again and as much as I want her to be part of my life I don't know that I can go back to being just her friend\n\nIt's been really hard because I feel like I've lost my girlfriend and my best friend because she was the first person I'd ask whenever I wanted to do something", "summary": "I stared dating my best friend, 8 months later she breaks up with me and says she's not ready for a relationship and needs to be single but now she wants to be best friends again"} {"id": "t3_1aptyj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[M19] has feelings for [F19] but not sure if she feels the same way.", "post": "I have known this girl for quite some time now, around 5 months and we have become really good friends. A few weekends ago, she anonymously put on a Facebook Missed Connections page that she had feelings for me. (she later told me it was her). We were at a party a few weekends ago and we ended up making out for a while. Since then, we have still been talking and see each other almost every day. We have hung out, I bought her coffee, and went on a late night walk and we held hands the whole time. But when I told her that I had very strong feelings for her, she said, \"I don't know what to say.\" then later today she said, \"I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us.\" Reddit, What does this mean? Any advice? Did I do something wrong?", "summary": "A girl told me she had feelings, we hung out, I told her I had feelings, now she is sending mixed signals."} {"id": "t3_2krshr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20f] and fiance [24m] dating 3 years, engaged 6 months. I feel like it might be time to close this chapter of my life.", "post": "I really love this man. But I'm not sure I'm in love with him anymore.\n\nRecently I've realized that I might be poly amorous. My fiance does not agree with this at all, and I don't blame him. He can't possibly think of sharing me emotionally or physically with someone else.\n\nAfter a few days of both parties being miserable (I'm lonely and afraid to hurt him)(he doesn't understand how I'm not enough for him) we had a cry/talk and he said that if I need to end it I should do it soon so that I don't pull him along, or worse we get married and I get these feelings again.\n\nI was fine, until he fell asleep and I couldn't. I ended up sexting with another guy I had been talking to lately.\n\nWhen I'm with him I'm fine and happy, but he works full time and when I'm alone I get...lonely, and I get urges to talk to other guys.\n\nI know I can't have my fiance and this lifestyle. I just need advice other than \"you should break up with him\".\n\nI don't even know if you guys can give me any advice.", "summary": "Been with boyfriend for a long time, starting to feel like I might be poly amorous, I can't have both and have to choose."} {"id": "t3_309tlj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my Long Distance GF of [23 F] of 6 Months, Feeling Overly Invested", "post": "I've known my current girlfriend since senior year of high school. We went to different colleges, remained close friends throughout, and eventually started dating the summer after graduating. We have since started jobs in different cities (Dallas and Austin \u2013 about a 3 hour drive) and have been long distance for most of our relationship. I've kind of always had a thing for this girl but the timing was never right for me to make my move. It was initially hard for her to see me as more than a friend and things moved very slowly in the first few months of our relationship. We went from dating to exclusive to boyfriend/girlfriend and have gradually gotten more serious as time has passed.\n\n I wasn't used to moving so slowly with a girl and have always been one to fall fast and hard. It took us about 4 months of dating to have sex, which was much longer than I'd waited in the past. As our relationship has been building I've been unsure of if she feels as strongly about me as I feel about her. I feel like I'm always the one making the plans for us to see each other, want to hang out more often with her than she does me, and want to have sex more often and always have to initiate. We get along great when we're together but making plans to see each other always feels more forced than it should. I feel like I'm going through an endless cycle of wondering if she even cares when we're apart and feeling great about things directly after visiting her or when she visits. \n\nI'm getting to the point where I think I love her but am afraid to express how I feel out of fear she doesn't feel the same way. I want to bring up the idea of one of us moving so we can stop doing long distance but I don't think she would be willing to move to my city like I would be willing to move to hers. I'm wondering if it would even be worth my effort to move to her city and if it would make our relationship progress to the next level like I want it to. How do I bring this up without coming on too strong and pushing her away?", "summary": "My girlfriend of 6 months and I live in separate cities and I'm thinking about moving closer to her but feel like I'm more invested in our relationship than she is and don't want to come on too strong."} {"id": "t3_464duk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] and a girl I met in my college class weeks ago [18 F] - what to do in this situation?", "post": "I meet her on the first day of class, we're in the same group, she gives lots of stares, laughs at my silly jokes all the time even when it's not funny, I get her number a week or two later (class is once a week) we're both clearly attracted to each other.\n\nNow whenever class ends she tries to walk with me but is on her phone 80 percent of the time. She never has a lot to say and she is kinda shy, just like me. So sometimes it's just an awkward walk to our cars with little talk.\n\nI haven't hugged, or even touched her as in side hug, playful touching, hand held, etc. I want to hangout casually with her before considering dating, but don't know what to do. I may go to a museum with my friend and his gf, maybe I could invite this girl? I just dont know exactly what kind of girl she is since she doesnt show much of herself. What can I do to avoid making all this awkward?\n\nAlso escalate very far in text (she uses snapchat and knows I dont have one).", "summary": "me and girl have been having class for a few weeks, got her # but didnt go very farm What can I do to escalate our relationship outside of school without making it awkward?"} {"id": "t3_1u1e33", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] need advice on how to get out of this relationship with my boyfriend [25M]", "post": "Okay, I'll try be short, thanks for reading this :)\n\nMe and my boyfriend both has a psychological diagnosis, not the same one, so that is one of the issues. We've been together for 4 years.\n\nI am the person in the world most afraid of abandonment and he is distant, I can't talk to him about anything and in his eyes I seem to be the least interesting human to be around, there are loooooots of other problems, but this is what I wanna focus on. We literally can't have a conversation because he 10 out of 10 times, knows better and needs to explain his version of things. When I have tried to talk he talks over me and I have to listened to this for a long time, so my patience runs out and I act crazy.\n\nI need to get away from him, he is moving 1st march in 2014, but we still own an apartment together. I feel like I love him with my whole body/soul etc, but I see now that he is mistreating me and he have been for a very long time, I feel worthless and tiny around him now, I am quiet, not myself. I don't think he loves me. He wouldn't be able to make me feel this bad and do this to me if he really loved me. He talks a lot about my diagnosis, I am my diagnosis for him (I think), I can't live with being told how sick and crazy I am multiple times a day.\n\nAny advice/help will be highly appreciated.", "summary": "My bf can't listen only explain his side of the story, he makes me feel bad, and is mistreating me, I need to get out! We've been together 4 years."} {"id": "t3_4bu228", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is giving receiving a business card bad relationship etiquette? Me (28F) BF (28M)", "post": "Relationship 4.5 years.\n\nThank you for reading! So I am in sales and have gotten in the habit of exchanging business cards as frequently as possible. I have accumulated a stack which are scattered throughout my purse. I guess you could say it has become a reflex when meeting somebody.\n\nI went to a bar with my friend Tabitha several weeks back and we started talking to two guys about the caucus. The conversation then turned to whether we had boyfriends and I said I was in a relationship and that we were getting engaged soon. I talked about this a LOT.\n\nI then went to leave and did the whole business card exchange. I did not intend to ever speak to either of them again and have not. I cannot think of a nice way to say this, but neither of these men were attractive.\n\nThe next day, I had already forgotten their names. My boyfriend found the business card on the floor and got excited because he needed a new mechanic. I didn't remember the guys' names so I said that the card was probably my friend Tabitha's. Later, when I picked it up cleaning, I realized it was probably one of the people we had been talking to and threw it in my purse to join the stack.\n\nA few nights ago when we were in bed, my boyfriend asked if I still had the card. I told him that I could get it for him in the morning.\n\nThat night, however, I couldn't sleep because I started feeling really bad. For the first time, I wondered if taking business cards might be similar to going out and getting numbers. I woke my boyfriend up after several hours of not sleeping and explained to him the story and said that I was sorry. He was fine with it, but was angry that I woke him up. I felt bad that I had said it was probably Tabitha's.", "summary": "Is it wrong to give out your business card or take one from a single man? I have been doing it because it is a good networking tool, but maybe it leads to too many complications?"} {"id": "t3_szsae", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is my experience with American women... normal?", "post": "*First up, I'm an English exchange student just about to finish up a year studying at a good public school on the East Coast. Using my dazzling wit and English charm (read:endearing awkwardness) I found myself in a number of \"romances\".*\n\n**One example**\n\n- Friends and I go to a club, start talking to a girl who I hadn't met before but knew my circle of friends. We get drunk, kiss once and all of a sudden she's really frankly discussing the logistics of us fucking that night, as if it were a business meeting being arranged. I was taken aback by the forwardness, but I appreciated it. At least she was to the point. \n\n- We get back to the room, she takes some Benadryl for her allergies and we start hooking up. It's kind of awkward, because we're still a bit pretty drunk and pretty tired, but once that Benadryl kicked in she began getting a bit crazy.\n\n- She kept stopping to impart some gem of wisdom, often subjects absolutely unrelated to the current circumstance. I kind of ignore it at first but it gets to the point where she's talking so much shit that I give up and just lay next to her.\n\n- She then begins to scratch my back in a way that might have just been sexy were we not completely inanimate, she tore the shit out of my back. No apparent reason (she was drifting off by this point I think).\n\n- I give up on her crazy, and go to sleep. Next morning she spends 30 mins bitching about how it's best we didn't have sex because \"no men can satisfy her\", as if that's a failure of humankind and not some biological problem that she might have. It also transpires that **she refers to herself** as a militant feminist, the sort that hate men out of principle...", "summary": "I might have been the victim of a bizzarre, convoluted and Benadryl fuelled feminist hate attack^1"} {"id": "t3_40k3ls", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by telling a photographer she makes the same as a hooker", "post": "This weekend I was visiting my friend at his university and us and a few other guys decided to go to a bar with a packed dance floor. We waited in line for over an hour to get in because it was frost week, which is the first week back in school after winter break. Once we got in I got settled and danced to the music and ordered a couple drinks. I had already pre-drank with my friends prior so suffice to say I was pretty intoxicated. I saw the bar photographer taking pictures of people so I asked if she could get a pic with me and my friends. Later on in the evening I saw the same girl without her camera and asked her if she was the photographer I saw earlier. She nodded and we started having a pretty good conversation. I could tell she was into me and I started harbouring thoughts that maybe I'd get lucky on this fine Saturday night. After talking for a bit she told me that she had made $150 for about an hour of work. Without thinking I say, \"Wow that's like the same as a prostitute.\" The funny thing is I didn't realize what I said was bad at the time. She gave me a dirty look and said, \"how do you know how much prostitutes make?\" and \"Photography isn't easy it's hard work.\" I tried defending myself still oblivious to my mistake until she basically asked me to leave. I went to my friend and told him the story and realized after his face palm that I fucked up. The next morning I laughed about it.", "summary": "I told a pretty girl who was the bar's photographer that her salary was comparable to that of a prostitute. I went home alone that night."} {"id": "t3_3czayq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (22/f) divorce is on pause after a year of seperation with my husband (22/m) to try and work things out.", "post": "Throwaway because dont want personal stuff on my main.\n\nWe seperated because lack of intamacy, caused by my depression from being 10 hours away from home where I knew no one, which lead to his flirty-ness and emotional cheating with chicks online. Which was all immediately followed by a deployment. We really didn't stand a chance under the circumstances. I was highly depressed and my anxiety was out of control at the time. I just wanted to be home and be with my friends and enjoy life. Its out of my system now and I want my family back, regardless of the work I have to put in to get it.\n\nHe's a great guy, aside from his mistakes. He's spent the past year apologizing to me and offering to go to councilling and do anything to stay married but I was set on divorce. So divorce was supposed to be final next month. And after 6 months out of the past year of thinking hard about it I told him that I wanted to try and work things out, so divorce is on pause.\n\nAll of our issues can be worked out. I'm confident in that.\n\nWhat advice do you have? The biggest thing for me is that I DONT want to talk about the past year with him (I didn't fuck around with a ton of guys but I had a relationship he knows about it vaguely) I don't want to know what he did at all. I want to work on *our* past and work twords the future. Do you guys think this is a good idea? I can't imagine how knowing what he did would help, it would just really hurt me to know if/who he dated/fucked.", "summary": "husband and I separated for a year due to a lot of issues that could have been solved followed by a deployment and I want advice on how to make things work this time."} {"id": "t3_ei0x8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need advice about something I did but can't remember", "post": "Maybe a dumb question, but here it goes: I was blackout drunk last Thursday and can't remember anything. However, my roommate told me today that I had come in to her room that night and explained everything that happened and that I was really upset about it. All in all, it sounds like I was just really drunk and making an ass of myself in front of strangers at a bar, but I was alarmed by one thing she said. Apparently I ran from the cops. I had been stumbling outside of a bar (I have no recollection of this) and two officers came over to talk to me. We may or may not have not exchanged words because I may or may not have been kicked out of said bar (again, I have no recollection of this). But at some point I took off running. That I ended up at my house means I got away, but could I still be detained now for something like public drunkenness or resisting arrest if the cops recognize me? I really have no idea how serious the situation was and I'm tempted to call them up, tell them what happened, and if they need me to come down to the station. Should I do this? I live in a small town where I recognize people pretty readily, so I would not at all be surprised if the same cop would be walking the same beat next time I'm downtown.\n\nSo yes, totally stupid. I feel really awful about it and just want to come clean with whoever I need to and apologize. It's just that I don't have all the facts and it could be nothing...or it could be more serious. I'm leaning towards not calling because the bar certainly knew who I was (they had my ID and card) and nothing has happened. Then again, I wouldn't want to be stopped later.", "summary": "I just realized that last week I drunkenly ran from the cops, who I suspect wanted to talk to me regarding my drunkenness, but I'm not sure. Should I call them and find out if they are looking for me?"} {"id": "t3_3i0xt4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf(15) asks me (M16) questions that are really hard to answer. Advice?", "post": "For example we will be sitting on the couch after we do sexy stuff(not sex, we're still virgins, but we plan on having sex with each other) and she'll ask me if I'll get bored of her after we have sex and asks if I'll love her forever. I have no idea if I will or not, I don't know what the future holds. I just tell her that I won't get bored of her, but in truth I really don't know. Is there any advice anyone could give on the situation?\n\nSome side info: Relationship for 2 months, she's my first girlfriend, and she is completely head over heels for me.", "summary": "My GF asks me if I'll ever break up with her or get bored of her after we have sex, and if I'll be with her forever. I don't know if I will or not. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_1gft8d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I have trouble trusting my girlfriend and around her two best guy friends. 18F 21M", "post": "My current gf and I have been seeig each other for 3 years and have been official for 10 months. I have trust issues, and I'm not sure how to get over them. I don't trust her 100% completely and I don't know if I will ever trust anybody. I always think she is out cheating on me. It's not fair to her and I try to suppress it. \n\nIt's worse when two of her guy best friends would more then likely get with her if given the opportunity. That makes me uncomfortable when she's with them. I don't want to come off as controlling or insane. A part of me doesn't care what she does. But there's always that little voice in my head. I always assume and expect the worse. Her one guy best friend is always texting her from his email, I don't know why he doesn't ever just text her from her phone and that makes me think something is up. From what she tells me too it's like everyone knows that he likes her more then a friend. He also has a girlfriend. And they have a little bit of a history but nothing to major. \n\nI know she's going to say that I'm overreacting if I bring this up to her. She doesn't want to lose any friends and I understand that but I'm just not ok with her being so close to them. And hanging out with them all the time I get incredibly stressed out. \n\nI don't know how to bring this up without driving her away. She always says I'm to controlling and too sensitive and over bearing and needy. I really don't care what she's doing I just want to know and sometimes she goes out of her away to avoid telling me what she's doing. She says I'm too nosey. We've been fighting a lot lately but that's a different story and this week we didn't fight at all so I want to keep that going.", "summary": "I have trust issues and a my gf has two best guy friends I don't trust. She has a little history with one of them."} {"id": "t3_1bdzzb", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "My Dad told me that his marriage isn't going to last my freshman year.", "post": "Hello Reddit. I'm thirteen. As you can see by the title, my Dad doesn't preferably like my mother. I call her my mother because I don't particularly like her either. In fact, I hate her. Plain and simple. It's not that teen angst or anything. She's just rude and abusive. I mean, she absolutely hates our new puppy. She doesn't understand violence isn't the answer. My Dad has taught me that since I was little. I never provoked fights with my sibling. She hits my puppy when the puppy just wants to play. Of course this just makes the puppy mad. Don't get me wrong, the puppy is really good. She only does her business in the house when nobody's paying attention to her. My Dad and I watch the puppy when we're home. When my mother and sibling are home. They pay no attention to her. She pees and craps on the floor like it's nobody's business. Also, my mother has no job. My Dad keeps our family afloat. If they get into a custody battle (which is likely) I want the ability to testify to my own choice. I should be old enough by then to do so. My Dad said to me he's keeping the dog though. Which is good, I love that little puppy.", "summary": "My parents fight a lot. My Dad told me that their marriage isn't going to last 2 more years. I want to live with my Dad not my mother."} {"id": "t3_51m1ip", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Planning for retirement with pension", "post": "I'm currently engaged to a woman who is very much of a saver. With her current level of savings, she projects she'll retire with about a million+ saved. Great!\n\nI divorced a few years ago, and my ex got most of our retirement assets. Long story, it's in my post history, don't really want to rehash that here. That's over.\n\nI work for a public agency, and participate in the pension plan there. I was hired the last month that any non-union employee could participate in that plan. I do make my own contributions to the plan: 10.5% of my gross salary (ouch, I know). When I retire, my pension will pay me 2.25% per year of service of the average of my 5 highest earning years here. I should retire with 24 years of service.\n\nMy current plan is to work until I'm 70 to maximize my pension and social security. There is longevity in my family on both my mom and dad's side. I had grandparents who lived well into their 90s. My main concern is to have income for the length of what could be a 20+ year life after I stop working.\n\nI also have a supplementary pre-tax savings account with about 25k. I continue to add funds to that account, but at a pretty modest rate, 2%. \n\nWhen I've put the various numbers from the story above into retirement calculators, the results generally tell me that I'm preparing adequately, given my pension. Between pension+supp account+social security, I should be reasonably set for retirement income. \n\nI've thought about leaving my current company, and could probably realize a significant bump in salary if I did so. However, to save enough principle to equal to what I'd get from my pension, I'd have to \"bank\" nearly all of any potential salary difference. I'm not sure I'd be disciplined enough to do that.\n\nAm I missing anything? How do I explain this to my fiancee? She thinks I am underpaid, and doesn't quite get the pension thing. As she is self-funding her retirement savings, she has always chased higher base salaries as they allow her to save more. \n\nAny advice would be appreciated", "summary": "Pension+supplemental account+Social security seems to me to be enough of a retirement plan for me. How to explain?"} {"id": "t3_ywm2a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Can I [20f] confront my boyfriend [20m] about stuff I found while snooping?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. For the last month or so, he had been constantly accusing me of cheating on him. I had to fend off accusations every day basically, despite not cheating on him, and not doing anything out of line that might make him suspicious. He just said he had a \"hunch\". Cheating and trust had been a non-issue until then, so I thought it was weird he brought it up so much but did my best to reassure him.\n\nThat seemed to die off a few weeks ago, and we've been great ever since, but a few days ago something irked me. I asked him to list me as his girlfriend on Facebook, and he didn't want to. I don't like to really conduct my personal life online so I didn't push it. Later on, he left for work and wanted to log onto my Facebook to kill some time, and his profile came up. I know I shouldn't have looked, but curiosity got the better of me.\n\nI found messages through the last two months of our relationship of him making plans to smoke joints with a few girls, take another out for a beer, and he messaged another calling her \"absolutely gorgeous\". He also had his ex-girlfriends page bookmarked. There is no hard evidence of him cheating, but this sure looks suspicious and makes me uncomfortable. Can I confront him?", "summary": "saw my boyfriends personal messages to other girls online and now I'm worried he's messing around. Can I confront him?"} {"id": "t3_2j5izy", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "The struggle of going on.", "post": "Hello LoseIt! \n\nI've been hanging around here for awhile, just lurking of course, and to read all the great stories as motivation here! Finally I decided to make a throw-away account and post something. \n\nI'm a 5.4 ft/165cm female and around August 2013 I finally made the decision to lose some weight. I weighed around 190lbs/85kg around that time, so it's nothing big, but I was really unhappy with my body and very self conscious. Over the course of the next 6 months I lost 33lbs/15kg. (which made me 157lbs/70kg)\n\nMy diet consisted of no snacks, mostly water and just the regular food. I have no money/time to afford fitness or any sort of sport sadly so it's all about the food in my case.\n\nso I took about a year long break because I was sort of happy, I could wear dresses and not feel like a fatass. So I started again last month with hopes to reach 132lbs/60kg sadly its not going so well as the first time.. My weight when I started was 160lbs/73kg and I can barely reach the 154lbs/70kg right now.. It's so hard.. How do you keep moving on?\n\nAlso, I weight myself around 3 times a week, what do you guys think is best? As I am a female I noticed I weigh more around my period. Any tips/advice?", "summary": "Cant keep going on used to weigh 190lb/85kg now I weigh 154lbs/70kg trying to reach 132lbs/60kg but i dunno how."} {"id": "t3_272hjb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [21M] being petty about my girlfriend [21] seeing male friends who have expressed interest in her?", "post": "I am a 21 year old male, and I am in a relationship with a 21 year old female who goes to the same university as I go to. We have been exclusive for about 6 months. I have no reason to doubt my girlfriend's loyalty. In fact, our relationship is progressively improving and we are getting more serious.\n\nI am, however, bothered by her hanging out with other guys. She tells me beforehand who these guys are and that she is meeting with them. However, these guys have expressed interest in her before and asked her out, but she rejected them. They tell her that they understand and want to hang out as just friends. They also know she has a boyfriend. In my opinion, them telling her that they see her as just friends now is bs though. \n\nOne guy asked if she wanted to get a meal at a restaurant. She sees him as just a friend, and I believe her 100%. However, I am 100% sure he sees her as more than just a friend. He asks her to go dancing, calls her names like \"cutie\", etc. I told her it's obvious that he thinks differently and she decided not to go. We didn't fight or argue or anything. She simply said she won't go because she understands my viewpoint and she would feel the same way if it were the other way around.\n\nHowever, there is this one guy who has expressed interest in her over a few years. He constantly sends flirty messages. She, however, always agrees to not see him in person, but she still talks to him because they do have a history (not a mutually romantic one) that involves a tragedy. He suddenly told her that he's over it, and they hung out at a place nearby. She asked if I was okay and I told her I don't mind. They didn't do anything special. Again, I trust her without a reason of a doubt, but I have a hard time believing that the guy suddenly sees her as nothing more than a friend.\n\nIs it wrong, insecure, and petty for me to be bothered by this and tell her this?", "summary": "Is it wrong for me to express my dislike about my girlfriend spending time with another guy who at one point liked her?"} {"id": "t3_es7ti", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "DAE completely man-up and go for a walk last night during the storm?", "post": "As soon as I saw it was going to be a bad storm I got the idea to set out on a journey through my town collecting my friends as I went, with another friends house being the eventual destination. \n\nI suited up like [Kurt Russell in *The Thing*] and went out around 5PM, when we had only around 8 to 10 inches. First stop I got some scotch, chicken, wine, and weed, picked up two more people and kept going. \n\nIt was so peaceful and awesome out. I saw not a single car or other human the entire night (I stayed out till around midnight; by then the snow was getting above my knees and it was too hard to walk in) Goggles made the entire experience comfortable. Visibility was shit, which looked really cool. It was like a thick fog of snow. One kid had a flask of whiskey he'd pass around, dolling out \"nips\" for us all.\n\nDuring a few windgusts the power fluctuated and almost went out, which was cool to watch from the street. I actually heard people inside all going, \"Whoaoa! What was that!\"\n\nTwo of the people I picked up my posse had their winter hardened dogs with them and they were the most badass of the night. The dogs didn't act like it was cold for a second and seemed to lead the way through every street. One dog was wearing one of those little dog jackets and kept ripping it off because she didn't need that crap.\n\nWe also smoked weed in an enclosure formed by a group of bushes. It was all dry and snowless in there. I probably could've fallen asleep I was so comfortable.", "summary": "Fuck the internet, went blasting through the snow at the height of the storm, sipping from a flask and smokin' doobers."} {"id": "t3_3mi68g", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by making one wrong choice", "post": "Going to do this in point form. Hope everyone is okay with that.\n\n-Be in grade 9\n\n-meet great girl\n\n-fall in love\n\n-after a couple weeks of talking we go out on a couple dates\n\n-have relationship title for only 1 week\n\n-get broken up with because she couldnt handle pressure of whole school knowing, spreading rumours and bullying her for being with me\n\nheartbreak.png\n\n-she still wants to be friends\n\n-i felt like there was something more to it and we would date later \n\n-couldnt get over girl\n\n-turned down majority of other girls who wanted to be with me \nbecause I still liked other girl\n\n-flash forward 3 years\n\n-she says she loves me for the first time\n\nomgItsHappening.jpg\n\n-tells me to wait for her because she is going through shit\n\n-doesnt talk to me much but tells me she wants to be friends\n\n-starting to regret choice of waiting for her for 3 years\n\n-tell her rumors I wasn't sure about \n\n-she thinks im lying \n\n-she loses trust in me\n\n-blocks me on everything\n\nI'm 18, I finished school and now I dont see a single girl in sight. I turned down many great girls all for this one girl. Wasted 3+ years of my sexual, romantic, and love life.\n\n#", "summary": "Fell in love with a girl, she tells me to wait for her, I do, she blocks me on everything because I told her a couple rumors about her. Wasted 3+ years of my life"} {"id": "t3_4xhdqz", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "High School Senior Project incoming!", "post": "Hi! I am a senior high school student in the Glendale/LA area. Today, I've been greeted by the year-long (10-month-ish) senior project in English class. The goal is to reach out to a professional that is willing to be a mentor in your project that either: \n\n1. expands on your personal identity or \n2. contributes to the community\n\nWith the mentor, the student (me) will spend their time researching their area of interest and completing fieldwork. \n\n\"The student is required to spend at least 15 hours volunteering, participating in fieldwork, and/or constructing a project. It is required that the students have a tangible final product even if they are doing an internship. Final products can be a model, a website, a demonstration, a video, a book, etc. The best projects are useful and beneficial to others as well as the student.\" \n\nThis project will later be presented in front of teachers and/or counselors on March of next year. \n\nMy concerns/Questions:\n\n1. Where would I be able to find a willing professional (in any field) that can serve as a mentor here in Glendale/LA area? \n\n2. How would I approach them? E-mail or in person? or both? \n\n3. I am interested in the field of Psychology, Are there professionals in the field of psychology (in Glendale/LA area) that are willing to accept and \"intern\"/ a student with a senior project? \n\n4. I am also interested in volunteer work such as taking care of the elderly or people with disabilities, are there facilities willing to accept an \"intern\" and be my mentor here in the Glendale/LA area? \n\n5. I am worried that I won't be able to do this. Help! \n\nDo you have any suggestions?", "summary": "I'll be an \"intern\". Need willing mentor for senior project in Glendale/LA area. Interested in psychology and volunteer work. Suggestions? "} {"id": "t3_1kbvfm", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Sallie Mae is destroying my husbands credit, for a loan he never took out", "post": "Hey PF. I searched this subreddit for a thread that would answer my questions, but didn't come up with anything quite like my issue so I hope I'm not posting something that's been posted 1000x. I've got a Sallie Mae issue that I have no idea what to do with. \n\nWe recently started receiving phone calls, letters, and collection notices from Sallie Mae for over $10,000 in loans from Sallie Mae. I realize this is not a large sum of money in the grand scheme of things, but the problem is my husband never took a loan from them.\n\nWhen he was in high school, the school had everyone fill out a FAFSA during their senior year. He did not qualify for aid since his parents combined income was \"too much\" His parents paid for his college in full, in cash. He graduated 7yrs ago. \n\nI called Sallie Mae to try to figure out what was going on. They said the loan was sent directly to the school. The school has no record of ever receiving money from Sallie Mae for my husbands tuition. Sallie Mae says the school is wrong, and the school received money that we now owe. When we asked Sallie Mae about the loan application, their response was when he filled out the FAFSA that was him asking for a loan, accepting any loan, and agreeing to the terms of the loan. We've asked for some kind of paper work, and they cant provide any. \n\nThey have offered us no resolution other than paying the loan off. They refuse to work with us at all. And in the mean time report him as delinquent every month, destroying my husbands once wonderful credit score. \n\nI'm at my wits end. Any suggestions for how to better get to the bottom of this? Thanks for reading!", "summary": "sallie may is harassing my family for $10,000 in loans we never took out, and refuse to provide proof of the loan."} {"id": "t3_qqmro", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My parents think that I should give up on school and become interested in trades. What should I do?", "post": "Been getting their expectation too high, marks have always been around 80-90 around junior high. Now I'm in high school & my marks have been steadily going down. They're now around 70 which I realize isn't bad, but they've told me that I should give up on trying to go to university. My whole life I've been taught the stereotypical \"University degree = good job and income.\" I know that this isn't necessarily true, but I feel like I should be going onto university; even if it's a local one (University of Alberta). I genuinely want to start picking up my marks again, but I dont feel the want or need to study as I have never had to before. I don't know what to do with my life. What do I do?", "summary": "Parents told me to give up on school and should start to pursue other things after school that aren't really education oriented. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_40ibph", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [23F] starting to think I'm my BF's [23M] rebound.", "post": "Throwaway account. \n\nOkay, my bf and I been dating for a few months now. We both just got out of long term relationship (1.5 and 3 years) and starting seeing each soon after. We first started out as FWB. Now here's the tricky part, everything was fine until I stumbled into something that made me unsure of our relationship (I was using his phone and the last thing the did was messaged her). He messaged her a while back about how he fucked him and was sorry for everything when he found she gotten a new boyfriend. In it he states that he doesn't want the relationship back because too much has happened, however I'm not sure how I feel about that and about our relationship. Pleas help and give suggestions on what I could do. I know I'm insecure, but I'm not sure what to do about it.", "summary": "FWB 5months, seeing for 3 months, and finally dating for 2. He messaged his ex causing me to be unsure of our relationship."} {"id": "t3_3fv7zz", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Help with my part-time job options", "post": "I'm currently doing an internship in the field I want to go into, it's unpaid so I have a part-time retail job to help support myself.\n\nThe problem is my current job pays just below minimum wage and I don't have many hours (they've been cut recently) and most nights I'm left to close up the shop on my own, which I'm not comfortable doing all the time. The other hangup is the shop is poorly stocked, it is supposed to get better but at the moment it's frustrating.\n\nBut there are some pros, there's no uniform which is nice and my boss is extremely flexible because of my internship situation and my permanent job hunt. It's also very close to where I live.\n\nNow, I've been offered a job at a different shop a little bit further from where I live. However this isn't available until October. But I would expect I'd at least be paid minimum wage, however I don't know how flexible the manager will be (although I've got a good rapport with them), and the opening hours are earlier and later than my current job and I'd prefer not to do those sorts of hours.\n\nBy the time this problem will arise, hopefully I will have found a permanent job and won't need a part-time job. However I'd like to get a bit of perspective on it now.", "summary": "will be offered a better part-time job which won't have any of the negatives of my current job but might not have the benefits."} {"id": "t3_1i05k7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Situation with weekend fling [26/F] driving me[26/m] up a wall.", "post": "So this might be a little long, but I appreciate the help.\n\nTo set things up: I was at a friends wedding a month ago and had a weekend fling with a friend of his. She stayed two nights with me at my parents place. We said our goodbyes and kept texting over the next week. She sends me a letter and a mixtape online (I know slightly cheesy). She says she feels like we made a connection and I say that I feel the same way. Things seem good so I say I'd like to come visit her and book flight for a stay of 5 days two weeks from now. Then she tells me that in September she'll be moving to the same city as me.\n\nSo it all seems good, but my anxiety/insecurity is getting the better of me. She hangs out with a lot of guys and has been hosting couchsurfers for the past week. I'll see a picture of them on Facebook and I can't help, but think she's hooking up with them on the side.\n\nTo be honest though it wouldn't really bother me if she would be honest with me. We aren't dating, we aren't exclusive so anything that she does is her perogative. I just don't want to get burned. I can't tell if what she says is honest or if she just wants attention.\n\nI also feel like I have no one to talk to because everyone just tells me to play it cool and not to think about it too much. I feel like I am crazy and overthinking things.", "summary": "Going to visit a girl I had a weekend fling with a month ago in two weeks and I can't tell if the things she says are honest or if she just wants attention."} {"id": "t3_3b8qoq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to balance my [25f] dogsitting biz with roommates [24f, 29m]? Cool so far, want to keep it that way.", "post": "I'm bad with people. So I'm bad at reading them. I just started dog sitting- picked up my first few clients today. 3 way too energetic dogs. I'm hoping it doesn't drive my roommates crazy. We've been roommates for about 2 ish+ months. They were okay with my being a dog foster mom (although there was a clerical error and I never could get on the list).\n\nThey're good with dog sitting, but I'm not sure for how much. I've already gotten 4 other requests, although for smaller dogs and smaller amounts of dogs. I'm 25, super need the money, am absolutely flat broke and trying to figure out a steady career. I've been going a bit hungry, so I do need this money. I plan to do this until Christmas perhaps, unless I can't handle it.\n\nAs for my house, it's a split house with neighbors above us. There are 3 bedrooms, a good sized living room, and a kitchen and bathroom. Mostly carpet, but I'm learning real quick how to clean up pee. No yard, but a dog park down the block, but it's pouring rain. So I need to decide how to do this without going crazy.\n\nOptions:\n1. Only get tiny dogs, since they're so much easier to handle. (could limit money)\n2. Limit the amount of dogs- I currently have up to 3. (could limit money)\n3. Give them a small cut of it\n4. Do something extra for them- I will be cleaning the house a lot more, simply because dogs make messes and require vacuuming and mopping. \n5. More ideas?\n\nThanks guys! I'm trying to get along with my roommates and I don't have the best social skills. Even though I'm a woman.", "summary": "I am starting to dog sit cause I need the money so much. Want to make sure my roommates don't get tired of it- any advice?"} {"id": "t3_140bsp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I just listed my engagement ring on ebay... what is your sad but necessary moment?", "post": "Edit: I was told this was a bit hard to read/follow so I've edited it to make it more understandable. Sorry for any confusion. \n\nIn May 2011 my boyfriend and I got engaged. It had be discussed between us beforehand so it was a mutual engagement. We were both really happy with our engagement and I couldn't wait to tell my friends. Turns out I had a few shitty friends who decided to get drunk and tell me how worthless I was, how my boyfriend could do better, and how I didn't deserve to be engaged. Needless to say, I am no longer friends with those girls. Not long after getting engaged I ended up going to study abroad in Japan and left my ring behind because I was afraid of it being stolen. I posted pictures to facebook of myself (like anyone would if they were abroad) and those girls saw that I didn't have my engagement ring on in any of them. They would follow my boyfriend around his workplace and say things like how I obviously didn't love him and was cheating on him in Japan if I wasn't even wearing my engagement ring. That happened for the entire two months I was gone. When I got back we decided it was a bad engagement and nothing at all like we expected it to be. We mutually decided to call off the engagement, mostly because planning a wedding while going to college was a bad idea. We put the ring aside for a future engagement and are still happily together. \n\nSo here I am, a year later, selling the ring. I have Crohn's disease and as a result I have a fistula in my abdomen. It has to be removed so I can't get a job until after the surgery is completed and I've healed. But I have school loans and bills to pay. My boyfriend and I talked about it and decided the best thing to do would be to sell the ring. It was attached to a few negative memories and we need the money more than a meaningless ring for the two of us. It's a sad but necessary fact. But that is just part of life. \n\nSo tell me, what is your sad but necessary moment?", "summary": "! Got engaged and my friends told me I was worthless and didn't deserve it. After calling off the engagement I got sick and require surgery so I cannot work but have bills to pay. Gotta sell the ring. "} {"id": "t3_2yeuru", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My husband [32 M] is leaving me [31 F]. I will be alone in a foreign country. Where do I go from here?", "post": "My husband and I have been together for 10 years. We moved to another country 8 months ago for his job. I have been trying to get my visa sorted out and it is still not approved. Because I have been on a tourist visa I am unable to work. I have no job, no savings, no money in my bank account. I also have no friends in this country because I do not speak the native language. \n\nMy husband has decided to leave me because I am infertile. We found out I was infertile 4 years ago when I was trying to get pregnant and could not. He said he was ok with not having kids. Now he has changed his mind.\n\nHe is at work right now and said he would like me to move out as soon as possible. I don't know what to do. I am estranged from my family and don't think I can go back to my home town and stay with them. I have reached out to the family member I was closest to but still have not gotten a response. I also reached out to the friend I knew best before we moved overseas but she did not consider me a good friend and is not willing to help me.\n\nI am looking at flights right now because I can put that on a credit card. But other than my home country I have no particular destination. I have no way to support myself until I find a job. I am alone and scared. How do I build a new life for myself?", "summary": "I moved to a foreign country for my husband's job and now he is leaving me. I have no money or support system. I need advice."} {"id": "t3_1q8k2d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] - tired of serial short-term, casual dating, but I'M the only common denominator! What am I doing wrong?", "post": "Hi everyone. I'm going on a first date this weekend with a guy (25m), and as I'm finding myself getting more excited, I am feeling equal terror, because my relationships never seem to work out the way that I want. \n\nRegarding my history: \n\n- I have never had a relationship last beyond three months. \n\n- I have regular relationships and go on a lot of dates, but I seem to hit this wall with people around this time. \n\n- Sometimes I do the breaking up, and sometimes I get broken up with. \n\n- When I break it off, I usually have a few lame reasons that have a lot to do with being bored. The people who have broken up with me usually tell me something similar like \"you're great and I really want to stay close friends with you, but I'm not interested in a relationship anymore.\" \n\n- Things seem to go well for a while, and then they fizzle. \n\nHas anyone had experiences like this and then make a change, allowing them to finally have a longer lasting relationship?\n\nOne thing to mention is that this guy, unlike most of my previous dates, has a real career and seems to be pretty intelligent. I tend to get with people who have some major issues in their life and haven't gone very far (or at all) towards any major goals. I've had a lot of difficulties in life but am fairly secure now (still in school but moving steadily towards a career), and maybe I can't start something lasting with these other people because I'm selling myself short from fear of being seen as a failure by people who have accomplished more than I have. I have always felt like I'm the wise, mature one in relationships, and I admit that it's a comfortable, but ultimately unfulfilling, position to be in. \n\nI'm not getting too anxious about this particular guy at this point, but are there things that I could do to immediately frame my intentions as more serious in the future?", "summary": "I have a long history of casual dating that I am not happy with anymore. I want to start sending the message that I want to be more serious in a relationship."} {"id": "t3_3os9a3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 M] feel torn between breaking up with my girlfriend [17 F] of two years or trying to make it work.", "post": "Hi!\n\nSo I'll get straight to the point. Me and my girlfriend have been going through a really rough time lately (last 6 months roughly). We fight alot and there is just alot of tension.\n\nI love her more than anything in my life, more than my own life i would literally die for her as long as i knew that she would be happy. She is the reason i get up in the morning and go to sleep in the evening, she is the reason i do anything at all. At the same time i don't know how long i will manage to deal with this relationship anymore, there is just so much tension, so much fighting, so much up and down and it's all just so complicated all the time.\n\nSo what i need advice on is this: What should i do? Should i break up with her? Should i keep trying to make it all work out? I want both. I'm feel so torn.. \n\nAlso, we go to school together and spend most of the days in the same classroom.", "summary": "Please give me some advice on what to do. I'm torn between breaking up and trying to make it work, she means the world to me but i don't think i can manage this relationship anymore."} {"id": "t3_cviw8", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Has my childhood screwed me over for relationships?", "post": "I have a horrible problem with expressing my emotions when I am in relationships. And not just emotion, but giving affection as well. \n\nI'm a female, in case anyone was wondering, and I had a single mother. My father was never in my life, so having that support in my life never existed. However, I did have uncles and a grandfather who looked after me as a child, but in a way, it wasn't enough to prepare myself for being in relationships. \n\nEvery relationship I have been in has had the same issue: Guy I am with is affectionate and open with emotion, but I am as cold and non-responsive to them as a brick. If they kiss me, I will kiss back. I will not initiate a kiss, nor will I initiate a hug. And yes, I will not even initiate sex (unless I have a rare moment of arousal and dominance, and I mean that's rare). \n\nIn a way, I have a submissive attitude towards men that I never knew I had until I started dating. I have a ton of male friends and I'm always comfortable around them since I see them as brothers. But when it comes to dating a male, I'm very submissive and bashful, or to some, \"A cold doll.\"\n\nI'm starting to think that because I didn't have a father figure in my life that I have no idea how to take a caring nature or attitude from a male in a relationship. It has caused huge complications for me, as I really want to be affectionate, but its as if my mind cannot compute how to do so. \n\nHas anyone else had this problem, or maybe someone could tell me why I'm so unemotional when I am in a relationship? How can I fix it?", "summary": "(Edited) I have no idea how to deal with males giving me affection in relationships but I want to learn how to fix that issue."} {"id": "t3_3770u0", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Cardio/strength training/sauna/weights.. I'm so lost and I think I'm doing this all wrong. Help, please.", "post": "Hi guys. I'm very new here, and here's my story as quickly as I can put it. I'm 5\"8', 273. That's down about 2 months ago from 298. However, the past 3 months have been one big plateau. I think I've made progress of about 2 pounds. In the last week I've joined a gym and started adding exercise to my loss, which I love, but I think I'm doing it wrong. Here's what's up.\n\nI keep hearing stuff about how muscle \"burns more at rest\", so I assumed I needed to build muscle. So the first day in I did 30 min elliptical and 4 sets of 12 reps on chest, shoulders and triceps. Next day 30 min of cardio, 4 sets of reps on back and biceps. Next day 30 min of cardio, 8 sets of 12 reps on abs and legs. Yesterday 30 min of cardio, 8 sets on chest, 8 sets on triceps, 4 sets on shoulders. In those 4 days I've done the sauna 3 times at 15 min each.\n\nI feel like I'm doing this all wrong. Rather, my body is telling me I am. I keep trying to figure it all out on my own, but everywhere I go for every one person that says one thing, there's another saying the opposite. I'm so confused! My single, only goal is to lose the weight. I don't care about getting \"cut\", that can happen later if I choose to. But right now I strongly feel like I'm doing too much, but I just don't know what I really need to be doing, how much I should do, etc, in terms of exercise. This is my first time reaching out for advise, so I'm sorry if this is too long. I just wasn't sure where else to go to ask.", "summary": "? I'm 275 lbs and my single goal is weight loss (not muscle, etc). What should I be doing in the gym and how often?"} {"id": "t3_iqtgm", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My Gym sold my girlfriend's phone number to spammers. What can she do?", "post": "My girlfriend and I both belong to the same Gym. A couple of days ago we both got a spam text message saying \"Text ForeverFit (name of gym) to for free 7 day trial membership. Reply with \"STOP\" to cancel.\"\n\nI did not respond to the text, and haven't heard a peep since. My girlfriend, annoyed by the spam, responded, and since has received dozens of spam texts and phone calls from other services. I assume her response let the spammers know that it was a real number and thus, ironically, her request to stop the spam actually initiated it.\n\nSo it's pretty clear that our Gym sold our phone numbers to a spam agency.\n\nWhat I'm wondering is,\n\nA) what's the best way for my girlfriend to get off of this list without having to change her number? All of the calls and texts come from different numbers so it is impossible to block. Even though this is clearly a scam, AT&T has been HUGELY unhelpful, since they stand to actually make money off of this once my girlfriend is forced to go over her text limit from unsolicited spam.\n\nB) What can/should we do about our gym that is apparently selling its customer's personal info?", "summary": "Girlfriend's phone number got sold to spammers by our gym and we're not sure what the best course of action is."} {"id": "t3_4ci6mj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 F] think I'm in love with my best friend [17 F] and really need your help, Reddit", "post": "Basically, I'm so deep in the closet that I found Harry Potter in Narnia (only a handful of people know). In all seriousness though, this girl - my best friend - doesn't know. She always goes out with boys and talks about them. However, she's been confusing me lately.\n\nShe's really gorgeous and I noticed her right away when we met, and she came up to me first and befriended me.\n\nShe's always been a touchy one, but recently she started making gay jokes about us. Even told her mother jokingly she's going to move with me to another country as a lesbian couple. I did laugh, but on the inside I was like, \"what are you doing\". The other day she was pinching my cheeks in front of our friends, saying \"Look at her\" and then kissed my cheek. This is just two examples of what confuses me. She hugs real tight out of nowhere. Not that I complain, but it's really not helping me with this... crush, I guess? \n\nI can't stop thinking about her, and there's no way to know if she's closeted as well. There's this pattern of what she does and says that I don't know what to think anymore. It's making it harder to see her on a daily basis. \n\nWhat do you guys think?", "summary": "I'm hella gay and really like my best friend, I guess she's straight but her behaviour sometimes makes me question it. Also, she's super great and I just wanna kiss her but the universe apparently says no"} {"id": "t3_3go3zh", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Sudden behavior change in cat?", "post": "Hi, I'd like some advice about unusual behavior one of my cats, Bree, has been showing. For background I have 3 cats, named Bree, Jerry, and Cheesy. Jerry and Bree are brother and sister and are around 9 years old, Cheesy is their mother and is about 10. They're all indoor/outdoor cats and like to spend a good amount of time in the backyard, and Bree also usually likes to wander the front yard and explore a little. They're all neutered.\n\nSo Bree has always been a very vocal cat, and whenever she sees me around the house will meow repeatedly wanting to be pet or receive attention. She's also very independent though, as she likes to spend a lot of her time exploring or in her favorite spots in the kitchen and garage. In the past, she would occasionally come into my room and meow at me wanting to be pet, but would never come onto my bed and would usually get bored in my room and leave within 2-3 minutes. However, today and yesterday she came into my room and laid on my bed wanting to be pet, and stayed with me for about 1-2 hours. She would also periodically start kneading the bed for a short period of time, and I have very rarely seen her knead in the past. Usually when I'm petting her she seems very excited and will push her head into my hands, roll around, meow loudly, etc. However in these times she's come into my room she's pretty much laid still and seems almost solemn. Since this started she's been going outside as much as usually and eating normally, so there aren't any apparent health problems. Could anyone give me an idea of what would elicit a fairly independent cat to suddenly show these relatively clingy behaviors, and whether I should be concerned? Thank you.", "summary": "A cat that is fairly independent but still very affectionate towards me has suddenly shown some unusual and somewhat clingy behaviors, and I was wondering what the causes could be and if I should be concerned."} {"id": "t3_4dp6i3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] 1year is moving away.", "post": "My boyfriend is moving 3.5 hours away. To me and a lot of people I know this doesn't sound like a lot but I'm not so sure he is convinced. \n\nHe is moving this summer and although we have made some plans to go to events during the summer once he has moved, I'm still not certain he wants to do long distance. \n\nEvery time I want to talk about the future of our relationship I feel either brushed off or like I'm talking to the wall. \n\nI'm not sure how to have a constructive conversation with how we will or will not deal with the distance. I know that until we are in it I can't know for sure if we will make it work, maybe it's too much for me to ask for reassurance about our relationship's future after the move. \n\nThe plan is for me to eventually end up 15 mins away from him to attend school in the next year. Not making this choice purely because of him but because of the programs available in this area. \n\nAnyways I'm not sure really what I'm asking but I just want to see if I'm being ridiculous for feeling insecure. I've heard that in order for a long distance relationship to work that it needs to be discussed prior to, but I have no idea how I get him to open up about this.", "summary": "How do I get my boyfriend to open up about discussing the future of our relationship before he moves 3.5 hours away?"} {"id": "t3_2hvfbk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [31 m] with this girl I was kind of seeing [27 F] 4 years, broke up and she keeps texting me to \"check in\"", "post": "Me and and a girl broke up this summer after years. I guess we were never really dating...its complicated. Anyways she has moved on. Dating, new town, new job, new friends. And I respect that but she says she wants to still be friends because I am important to her. Anyways I had heard from her in a month or so. She randomly text me, \"Hey, how are things going?\" I respond \"fine, how are you?\" and she says nothing for 30 minutes or so. So I ask \"is everything ok?\" she says \"Yes, just checking in.\" and that was it. 2 weeks later....she text me again...ask how i am and i say fine,m you just checking in...she says \"yup\". To me that sounds like she thinks she has to be nice and check in every so often until she doesn't have to. Am I correct or crazy? and how should I approach her without sounding like a dick?", "summary": "girl i used to date said she wants to be friends but only text me once in awhile. How not to be an asshole about the situation?"} {"id": "t3_4zrsr8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Every time I [20F] start getting romantically involved with someone the attraction disappears - only to come back quickly once I've ended things", "post": "It's becoming a bit of a problem for me that no matter how much I am attracted to a guy, the moment he begins returning my affections in an explicit way I suddenly find almost everything he does annoying - this includes everything from the music he listens to, to him asking how my day was.\n\nIt's been a reoccurring pattern, although one I originally pinned on moving too fast with guys I didn't really now etc. However, in the last year or so I've been involved with two guys who I felt very very strongly about initially but for whom feelings quickly dissipated, which made me wonder whether there was something slightly deeper.\n\nA few months ago I went on a some dates with one of my best friends (20M) who I'd been hung up on for about half a year. He was super super keen, but within a couple of weeks I felt so frustrated by everything he did I blew him off. Within a month, I was infatuated again. This happened in almost exactly the same way with my previous (sort-of) boyfriend (21M), with almost exactly the same gripes of trying to take up too much of my attention/time, sending me too many messages, asking to meet up over holidays etc. - things which I have no problem with in principle and really appreciate when coming from my friends. Likewise, very soon after breaking up I started to feel really attracted to him again.\n\nThis is maybe perfectly normal?? A sign of immaturity?? I've never been in an even remotely serious relationship and feel jealous of my friends who manage to maintain them, but can't seem to sustain attraction for long enough. If this is something I'll grow out of, fine, but it doesn't seem to be a major issue for anyone I know and its affected my relationship with anyone I've ever started to get serious with. Why do I feel like this and is there anything I can do?\n\n(Sorry if this seems like a bit of a petty issue, but my friends are crap at relationship advice and I'm not sure where else to ask!)", "summary": "Keep getting involved with guys only for any attraction to quickly dissipate once things start to look more slightly more serious. Two recently in particular I felt very strongly towards, and those feelings quickly returned a short while after ending things."} {"id": "t3_51r2uw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[35M] coworkers[30-60F] are being irritating and mocking me because of a patient[23F], administration is being half-assed as usual, what's the best way to not get irritated?", "post": "Im a psychiatric nurse, I've worked at the same facility for 6 years. Administration in general is decent but a bit overwhelmed, if it's not something major they let it go. I love working here and I'm not going to leave.\n\nOne of my patients is here permanently, she's 23 and over all a very sweet girl but she's also mentally ill. Even the doctors aren't quite sure what exactly is wrong it seems to be a mixture of things(heavily delusional,mild situational depressed, some histrionic traits). Medications just seem to make her physically sick. Her parents are older and can't handle her, she can't live on her own or in a group home. She's been here 5 years.\n\nShe's also in love with me. She runs up and hugs me, tells me all about her day(most of which didn't happen but whatever), asks me about mine. She's quite bright and tries to be helpful. I'm fond of her, she looks very similar to my daughter(12) so I just treat her like I would want someone to treat my little girl if she was in this situation.\n\nA few of coworkers won't stop mocking me because of her. They call her my girlfriend and ask when we're getting married. Make kissing noises when I walk past her room(I work 2p-2am). It's just damn annoying, I'm moving to a 8am-8pm shift in a few months so I won't being as much of them.\n\nWhat are some good ways to ignore them or politely tell them to shove it?", "summary": "I'm a psychiatric nurse.One of my patients is in here permanently, she's got a crush on me and my coworkers won't shut up about it."} {"id": "t3_lolt3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the craziest/dumbest thing your neighbor has said or done?", "post": "I'll start. Last night I made a run to Carls Jr. at about 10pm. As I'm pulling into my driveway at about a [7], I see my neighbor on the side of my house with a flashlight. Eh, just a crazy black lady, I'll just grab my Steakhouse burger and act like I don't see her. Nope...she stops me. \"HELLO!\", she yelled. I replied with a short \"uh\" and kept making my way towards the door. Now keep in mind, this lady is out in her night gown, no shoes, and a big ass flashlight. Anyway, she had come over to ask if I have a 'problem' cutting my grass. Of course I told her no, but me and my roommate are both college students and do it when we have time. This was NOT ok with her. She turned from a whining neighbor, to a bickering bitch in milliseconds. \"WELL THIS COMMUNITY LIKES TO KEEP THE GRASS CUT AND YARDS LOOKING NICE, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR YARD LOOKING BETTER.\" Now after she said this...a few things went through my mind. First off. We live in an area of Sacramento that isn't the greatest. Not run down, but definitely not a place where cutting your grass is one of the main criteria of living in the area. The fact the the two houses across the street from both of us had yards the size of the Amazon. AND THAT THIS LADY DOESN'T EVEN CUT HER OWN GRASS, she hires someone else to do it. I mean seriously...I would've taken her a little more serious if she wasn't actually capable of cutting her own grass or had her husband do it. But no, it's 10pm and she's is in my yard yelling at me about MY grass. I told her she can either pay me an allowance to do it OR she can get her own lawn mower out and cut her own and not worry about mine. Needless to say she was pretty upset after that and ended up going back inside.", "summary": "Find neighbor inspecting my grass in the middle of the night. Tells me to cut it, then gets upset when I tell her to cut her own."} {"id": "t3_3et8fv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] with a girl [17F]I met this weekend. moral conundrum, need advice.", "post": "So here's the deal, This weekend I went to a party with some friends, and on my way there, I had to pick up a friend and her friend, whom I had never met. long sotry short the new girl and I spent the next 24 hours talking (neither of us slept that night)\nwe were both sober, and literally just spent the night talking. She's very smart and very pretty. we have a bunch in common.\n\nNow here's the issue. she's 17. I'm 21 I'm 3.75 years older than her. It'd be illegal to do anything with her. the thing is though in much of the world, and even here in pittsburgh, a 21 year old dating a 17 year old is not uncommon. Especially among the Raver scene, her best friend (also 17) is dating a good friend of mine (22) I'm uneasy about this, but I still want to date her with the understanding that there is no sex till she is 18, and that I meet her parents and get their approval. I need advice. am I over thinking it? what should I do?", "summary": "met a girl, she is younger than I, don't want to take advantage or feel like a creep. need advice on what to do."} {"id": "t3_da3sz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Trying to improve myself.", "post": "Male, 21, 4th year in college, junior.\n\nI'm already decently outgoing. I normally don't have a problem talking to people. But for some reason I don't seem to be someone that makes an impression on people. I want to be one of those people that when he walks up to a crowd of familiar people, they're all excited to see.\n\nLast semester and now this year, I've been trying to befriend a good amount of people that I see regularly at this hangout spot at school. I already have some people I can hang out with, but I don't really connect with them like I do with friends from back home. Anyway, these kids at this hangout spot all know my name and we talk when we see each other, but I can't seem to break into their social circle and achieve a status where I'm someone they call to make plans with. I know the semester is just beginning, but it doesn't seem like anythings changing, or will change.\n\nAdditionally, I get the feeling that I'm doing something wrong with girls. I'm not half bad looking, and am a nice person (not nice guy) yet i'm not sure if they have any interest in me.\n\nOver the summer my friend would have anywhere from 5-15 people over almost every weekend, and the girls always paid more attention to my other friends. I guess there could be many factors as to why it was like that, but I can't help but think it's me.\n\nI won't be in college too much longer, and I want to live up my time there to the fullest. The past 3 years weren't well spent, especially the first. So I need to make up for lost time.\n\nMy school doesn't have a great party scene either. The big parties are at houses that are occupied by sport teams, and in order to get in you need to be a girl, or you usually need to know someone on the team. Which I don't. Oh, and no interesting clubs either.", "summary": "I'm a college student that wants more, closer friends and wants to get laid, but also wants to become a newer, better version of myself."} {"id": "t3_2pciw6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my apartment mates [25 F] and [25M] want to start a business together but they always change their mind", "post": "I am a [M25] year old programmer with a lot of ideas and potential to do some serious programming. My apartment mates saw this in me and they have been bugging me for the past year to start something serious.\n\nThe problem is that they are kind of bossing me around and I do not know if this is good for me. We are supposed to be into this together but they seem to be pulling the strings.\n\nI am saying this because each time that we promised each to do something I was the only one doing anything and somehow I had to convince them to do anything. I had to use all sort of crappy stuff, like threatening to drop them from the business or stop working on it. I was joking of course but as soon as I did that they started doing something.\n\nNow again, they promised something and they did not deliver. How am I supposed to trust them in a serious business? I am supposed to be the leader here because I have most of the serious ideas but they seem to boss me around. How can I deal with them?\n\nI know that it's hard to motivate people and get them to do something but how can I tell the difference between someone that is a bit lazy and someone that is downright manipulative and tries to get me to work for nothing.", "summary": "Apartment mates want to start a business together with me, I do not know how to be sure that they are really serious about this since I will probably be doing most of the work"} {"id": "t3_xt46y", "subreddit": "self", "title": "What software do you use to sift through music when deciding what to keep?", "post": "Hey Reddit, so I've got tons of music that my friends erm, \"bought\" me... \n \nI want to listen to it all and decide what to keep (I'm running out of space and also hate having to continually hit \"next\" when I'm not feeling something) \n \nHere's the issue: I'm having a hard time devoting the time to paying close enough attention to what's playing to make a \"yea or nay\" decision on a per song or per album basis. \n \nDoes anyone know of any media player that will prompt me to decide whether a song makes the cut or not after the song finishes?", "summary": "Is there any media player that I can set to pause and prompt after each song so I can decide to keep a tune or not?"} {"id": "t3_2yknxi", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Creative advice needed to climb out of this pickle.", "post": "I am an (24y.o.) American living and attending college in Ireland. I have 2 years left, and my family is no longer willing to pay for my education because of my lifestyle (I recently came out as gay). I am not an Irish citizen, therefore I have to pay international fees. I am not eligible for financial aid from either country.\n\nThe pickle I am in is especially sticky because at this point I am not allowed to work more than part-time as a student (and not allowed to work at all once I lose my student status). I would not even be able to afford a ticket back to the United States. What does one do in this situation? (I'm a bit worried about ending up stuck here as a broke bum/having to mooch of off friends).\n\nAny ideas would be greatly appreciated. Maybe there are grants I can apply for specific to studying abroad? Sorry, all of this is very much out of my realm of knowledge! Let me know if this belongs in some other subreddit, and thank you for reading!", "summary": "I need advice on how to get aid for college so I don't end up an illegal immigrant on the lam from the law."} {"id": "t3_nlkfq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Am I making a mistake inviting her over??", "post": "Backstory: Ex and I broke up about a month ago right before the holidays, she started dating her TA and I fell into a cycle of absolute misery and despair. We went through hell in the breakup, but of course it's easier for her because she has a new persona and a large family. Me I just got stuck in my nightmare world. Now, we decided we'd meet to exchange Christmas gifts that we'd already gotten each other, and I offered to make her dinner and spend the day. I'm still caught in despair over her, and she's pretty sad too but trying to move on. My friends don't think she and I should be friends anymore. But I've known her for 2 years and shes been my best friend, I just sucked at being in a relationship. Is it a bad idea? Exchanging gifts and making dinner, trying to be friendly, while the wounds are still somewhat fresh?", "summary": "inviting ex that I'm heartbroken over for dinner and christmas gift exchange, trying to be \"friends\" - bad idea or ok?"} {"id": "t3_20z1qk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21 M] Haven't been able to get over my ex for 3 years now...?", "post": "She broke up with me 3 years ago today after a 7 month relationship, and no matter what, I still can't get over her. Things ended pretty poorly due to me, so she blocked my number and blocked me from all social media. \n\nI always hear advice from people saying to try new things and step outside of your comfort zone.\n\nSo I did.\n\nI went to a university 12 hours away, taught myself to cook, learned some guitar, started hiking, took up coin collecting as a hobby, met a ton of people that I regularly wouldnt be friends with, had counseling, started to read more, started to exercise regularly and eat healthy.\n\nI started smoking a ton of weed for months, I abstained from weed for even longer after that.\nI started to drink a ton for months, I abstained from alcohol even longer after that as well.\n\nI've dated 5 girls before her, and 4 after. She hasn't left my mind during any of the relationships after her.\n\nI still think about her everyday, and I have dreams about her at least once a week.\n\nShe is the one that got away... what do I do?", "summary": "ex gf of 7 months broke up with me 3 years ago today. Still think about her everyday and can't get over her. Have tried all that I could, but alas to no avail"} {"id": "t3_3ozngf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26M] am having a hard time dealing with rejection.", "post": "I've been single for about a year and a half now. My last serious relationship ended in May 2014. It had lasted close to four years and I was the one to end it.\n \nI took a few months off from dating to heal and learn to be myself again. After a few months, I started dating again. I got the fade-out or ghosting rejection an awful lot. It drove me absolutely crazy. I wasn't even looking for anything serious and it still drove me up the wall. I tried online dating and had a miserably bad response rate; this really started to bother me. After a while, I decided to take a break again to try to collect myself.\n \nFast forward to today: I'm finally feeling ready to enter into a more serious relationship again. However, once I made an OkCupid profile again (not even filled it out, just a blank profile), I started to feel triggered again and just overall felt really awful. My past experience was overall pretty bad. It all feels extremely judgmental and shallow. It exacerbates a lot of self-image issues that I have. I have been seeing a therapist for the past two and a half years and we have spoken about this.\n \nIt's possible that I'm just not ready to jump back in again, but I really don't know how to prepare myself.", "summary": "Feeling the sting of rejection and really not sure how to deal with it emotionally. It exacerbates a lot of self-image issues that I have."} {"id": "t3_wipio", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Help me figure out how to get past this?", "post": "My last big relationship lasted years, and ended terribly, including over a year of cheating and lying. This has left me with more than a few issues, to say the least. But usually they are under control. Except...\n\nI am about a year and a half into my current relationship. A few months in, I found out that he had been seeing multiple people when we started dating. After our first formal date, he broke it off with one, then went away for three weeks, and broke it off when he got back with the second (who he had allegedly built more with so it was harder than the other).\n\nTechnically, there is NOTHING wrong with this, I mean he behaved in he best way possible given the situation he was in before he met me, which I have nothing to do with.\n\nBut two things bother me.\n1. His quick and sure decision to only date me, when prior to me he had really wanted to date lots of people. If he changed his mind so easily after meeting me, he can change his mind just as easily to stop dating me. \n2. He has mentioned in the past how cool/smart the one he had built something with was, how artistic, etc. all things that I don't close to measuring up to.\n\nThe anxiety I feel about this is unreal. I know that I am being completely unreasonable, but how do I get over this? I don't bring it up to him, because I know it's my own personal psychosis.", "summary": "my boyfriend went from open relationships to monogamy when he met me, but I can't get over my insecurities. How can I get over that?"} {"id": "t3_2genh1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[19F] don't know if this is healthy [20M]", "post": "I'm in college and I have a FWB. We have sex maybe 3 times a week. I've always kind of had feelings for him, but I know that he's not interested in a relationship, so I never told him. Plus, I didn't want things to end because I really, really enjoy the sex. \n\nWe've known each other for a year now. \nHe's really respectful and nice to me, and I feel safe around him. We rarely talk/hang out besides having sex. Plus, I think that he doesn't want a relationship to form so that might be another reason. We did talk about our relationship a while back and he basically said that he just doesn't want a relationship right now but that he did care about me and that I'm his only long-term hook up. I told him that I understood that and that I enjoyed his company and that I was fine with the arrangement.\n\nHowever, I think my feelings for him are just too strong now. I am constantly thinking about him. Sometimes he won't reply to my texts, and I just get really, really sad (it basically ruins my mood). I'm in college as I mentioned, and I used to be a huge party animal...I would go out every weekend with my friends and meet new guys every weekend and I loved it. But now, I don't even feel like going out. All of my friends are starting to notice my antisocial behavior. My roommates always invite me to go out with them at nights, but I simply just don't feel like it. But I know that if the guy texted me, I would pretty much drop everything and go. \n\nI'm just confused and don't know what to do.", "summary": "I like my FWB way more than he likes me. I don't feel like doing anything anymore, unless it's seeing him. It's ruining my life and I'm not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_39u5x1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (f/29) just thinking my boyfriend (28/m) is being shady while away?", "post": "My boyfriend went away to mourn the death of an ex girlfriend. I thought space would be good on this trip, so I've left him alone, and he hasn't been in much contact with me. This being said I know he's communicating with others and on facebook.\n\nWe have been in a rough patch of our relationship and this death made it worse. He's been checked out mentally, and I haven't been adjusting well. He's been going over the top about how he had loved her, and making this about himself more than her. We barely talked before this trip, and I chalked it up to where his head is at. I may be reading way to far into this, but wouldn't you want to communicate with your significant other while you're away. I mean, if you're chatting with other friends online? \n\nToday was the worst. Facebook (evil thing it is) notified me that he removed our anniversary date. I didn't even think we had an anniversary date in, but why was facebook telling me this? Again, he hasn't said anything to me but has been on facebook adding friends. Of course I had to ask him what was going on. He said he updated his security settings and didn't know what was going on. I'm not a big facebook person, so does that even make sense? Wouldn't you have to be blocking people from seeing your relationship to affect this? And if so, why are you probably blocking your new friends of your ex from seeing you have a girlfriend? Why should a relationship be a secret at all?\n\nI'm a little worked up right now so I'm sorry if this sounds crazy. It just all feels so shady and I don't know if it's just me that thinks so.", "summary": "boyfriend away mourning ex gf's passing, adds her friends to facebook, our relationship gets altered, he's barely talking to me."} {"id": "t3_4zgm2m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22M] just found out the guy [30M] I've been dating for 2 months has a boyfriend.", "post": "We started hanging out after matching on Tinder (he had just moved to a new city.) We got drinks a couple of times and got along really well and had a ton of common interests. During this time he's been persistent in asking me if I'll be exclusive with him. I told him I wasn't ready but hadn't seen other people since that conversation.\n\nWe keep hanging out once every week or two, I stayed over his apartment, we'd go to dinner, he'd talk about wanting to introduce me to his friends. I thought things are going really well and am in a place where I could consider going exclusive with him.\n\nTonight we were in the middle of a text conversation and he tells me he has a boyfriend and says he's the worst person in the world. I ask if it's been for the whole time we've been dating and he says yes. I was floored. I have no idea why he would be so insistent on going into a relationship or keep wanting to hang out when he was seeing someone else. He seemed like an extremely nice, genuine guy.\n\nNothing like this has ever happened to me before and I'm looking for advice on how to proceed. I'm still waiting on more information from the guy but completely freaking out about how I could be so oblivious.", "summary": "Man I was dating exclusively for 2 months revealed he's been in a long-term relationship the whole time. "} {"id": "t3_glier", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need advice for dealing with my roommate.", "post": "My roommate and I are both college students. We have been living together since August, and until he got a pet, things were going pretty swimmingly. Sure, he'd usually leave dishes unwashed when he left various times throughout the week, but I dealt with it. A problem like that is minor, when I consider the problems I've had with a past roommate. \n\nHowever, around the beginning of the year, he decided he was going to get an animal. Great! My cats have another cat to socialize with. Except that his pet has not been neutered, and has not had her shots. He's been promising this since he brought her, but something always comes up, as did at the end of this week. \n\nHe also doesn't do much to help take care of her. He feeds the cats on average once every two days, and literally never scoops the litter box. Ever. Nor does he take the litter out. Now, since I have more cats than he does, I don't expect him to do the majority of the work, but I'm doing *more* work now than I was before he brought his cat. \n\nI have talked to him on several occasions about being responsible for this animal that depends on him for basic needs, and he always promises to do better, then doesn't. If I try to remind him, he'll say okay, in a bit, and then he won't ever get around to doing it, because, go figure, something comes up and he doesn't have time or forgets or whatever. \n\nI will add that he takes the dog out and feeds him lunch (I'm not sure of the frequency, but it isn't more than 3-4 days of the week), but I only asked him to do it once. Never did I say that he was required to do this; I asked it as a favor of him once, and it has since become \"the norm.\" At least, more normal than him taking care of his own cat. \n\nHow can I get him to be responsible for this cat? I really only ask for him to scoop the litter once a week, and if he'd actually scoop the litter, the rule would be take what you scoop, so I'd still be doing the majority of the work.", "summary": "Roommate doesn't take care of his cat, and nothing has changed after talking to him several times. How the fuck do I fix this?"} {"id": "t3_4pchwu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[24/F] is in a sort of FWB situation with someone [27/M]. I want it to remain a secret because of my abusive ex. Ever since I've refused to tell anyone about us he's been acting weird. Why is he doing this?", "post": "I've recently started to \"hang out\" with a certain friend of mine. At first it was great. The sex was amazing and he was really sweet. He would do stuff like- asking me to stay over, cuddle with me the whole day, call in sick at work to spend more time with me.\nHe even did really intimate things like kissing my forehead and holding my hand which I was initially uncomfortable with. \n\nThe second time I spent the night at his place he started asking incessant questions about how my friends would react if they knew about us. He knows about the complicated on and off relationship that I have with my abusive ex. And started asking me stuff like - what would your ex do if he knew you were here.\nSo I told him that he would probably be at the door trying to beat the shit out of both of us. \nHe then retorted that he would totally take him down if needed. And that I should probably tell him about us. \n \n\nBut ever since, he started texting me less. It's down to once a day maybe. He is still sweet- he'll say things like how his t shirt still smells of me. But then that's it, he'll disappear. I know he's super busy because we work at the same place but he definitely makes less of an effort to get together even if he does text me regularly. \n\nI'm just super confused. What does he expect from me? I don't think that I'm asking a lot from him (especially a relationship) to start pushing me away. Or does he want more and can't ask for it? Why is he doing this? Because he acts like one thing and does something else. It's really frustrating me. I would ask him but I don't want to assume anything and spook him out.", "summary": "FWB is acting super weird after I told him I want to keep him a secret. Does he have feelings for me?"} {"id": "t3_3d6dp9", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not waiting for a reply like a normal person", "post": "First, a note: I'm bad with women, really bad. All around bad. Not just at one particular thing.\n\nBackstory: Was texting this girl for like a week almost non-stop. Rapid fire text messages. Go on a date last week, things go pretty well, date ends with a kiss and we set up another date for the following week because she's busy most of the weekend. Starting the next day I try texting and the replies are few and far between. Come the weekend I get maybe 4-6 replies over 48 hours. I know she's busy but that's still wicked low so I wonder if she's still interested.\n\nCut to this morning. I send a text asking if she still wants to hang out later this week. She asks why I would ask that and whether it has to do with her slow responses. I say \"yes, partly\". She gets upset because apparently her ex used to do similar stuff. I try to explain my \"why\" and she comes back saying it's too much, too soon (which I sorta understand how it could be perceived that way). Now I'm stuck between do I send one last ditch reply trying to convince her that's not who I am and trying to convince her to get a drink to let me prove it or do I leave well enough alone and walk away with a minuscule amount of my dignity still in tact. The reply is ready but I can't decide whether to send it and if I do, when to do so.", "summary": "I'm bad with women and don't know when to sit tight and wait for a reply and it cost me a shot with a pretty awesome chick."} {"id": "t3_33q1cy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (15F) mum (40sF) smashed my tablet following a police investigation", "post": "Format is messed up because I'm on my friends ipad, sorry!\n\nBack in January, my mum went through my phone and found inappropriate messages between me and a 20 year old male. She reported it to the police and they have been going through all the messages after taking my phone, iPad and laptop, and have found more inappropriate images and pictures. They called my mum last night and she smashed my school tablet in a rage, then apologised after I told her about my ex boyfriend who abused me sexually and physically.\n\nBasically I'm not sure what to do. They say there is a chance that the 20 year old male will be let off with a caution which is ideal for me but the situation at home now is abominable to say the least. She won't let me go anywhere, threatens to strip my room and take off my door and also accuses me of lying about my ex and calls me a prostitute. Also, I have a history of self harm and a couple weeks ago she made me strip and yelled at me for the scars. Any advice??", "summary": "police investigation, abusive ex who my mum accuses me of lying about. My mum smashed my tablet, threatens to take away my privacy"} {"id": "t3_32s5mf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] think my sister [19F] is a kleptomaniac. I don't know what to do anymore.", "post": "She (let's call her Lydia) started off stealing only my belongings and money then my parents' things. We both live at home with our parents but aside from occasionally scolding her and scolding me for not locking up my things. They don't do much else unless she stole anything valuable from them.\n\nLydia has stolen clothes that are too small for her to even fit and even my dad's underwear once. I have to lock my room every time I leave and even then, she has managed to steal the spare key from my mom or break down my door. If she's too lazy to go through all of that, she ends up stealing dirty items from the laundry room. \n\nThings escalated when she tried to deposit one of my paychecks - I admit that I shouldn't have left it out but that still doesn't mean she should've tried cashing it... Luckily, a friend of mine works at the bank and called me about this. You would think getting caught the first time would stop her but nope, Lydia somehow gotten a hold of my debit card number and made a bunch of purchases. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and when it backfired on me, I had to make the embarrassing calls to my bank to cancel the disputes. \n\nShe was bold/stupid enough to try it again with my dad's credit card and when she got caught, he told her to pay off the bill which she supposedly did. We found out last night that Lydia didn't submit the payment, had been hiding the statements, and that it was sent to collections.\n\nI have confronted her plenty of times and it's always the same answers: \"why do you always think everything is yours\" or \"I don't ask because I already know you're going to say no\". I don't talk to her anymore and refuse to have anything to do with her which is really upsetting my mom but I don't know what to do anymore.", "summary": "I'm trying to cut my possibly klepto sister out of my life which is upsetting my parents but idk what else to do."} {"id": "t3_337z46", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24M] have been with my girlfriend of 2 years [24F], but I've been unable to get another girl off my mind.", "post": "Hello,\n\nI've been with my girlfriend for 2 years now but ever since another girl has entered into my life, it takes all of me to stop thinking of her (we'll call her Nicole) - and for the most part, it's been quite unsuccessful. I found Nicole to be attractive but I always just thought it was going to be just a minor attraction. However, since at least the turn of the year, it's been much harder to claim that it's been just that. Instead, it seems like the thought of her has invaded every free moment in my mind.\n\nNo part of me wants to dabble into any sort of infidelity. I love my girlfriend very much and I see a future with her. However, I've been unable to shake the thoughts of Nicole in any way. I've told my girlfriend about Nicole and we almost broke up over it but the relationship survived. I provided the explanation that these thoughts/feelings for Nicole were probably caused by proximity issues.\n\nOne of the more major problems with finding an immediate solution to \"proximity issues\" is that I work with Nicole which means I see her 5 times a week for the majority of my day. Every time she passes by, I instinctively look in her direction, no matter how hard I try not to. I hear her voice all the time and we talk a lot. It's quite difficult to just eliminate her from my work life at the moment.\n\nSo I guess I'm writing this to figure out what I can do to stop thinking about her. As mentioned above, I would like to stay with my girlfriend. And as far as I could ascertain, Nicole and I are probably incompatible so it's not something I want to pursue. What should I do to erase her presence in my mind?", "summary": "What should I do to get a girl I who I work with off of my mind so that I can focus on my current relationship?"} {"id": "t3_dw4y4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Long Time World of Warcraft player looking to get out of Wow buy selling my toons, I'm looking for any advice.", "post": "I have recently decided that I do not wish to play Wow anymore but in order to make sure that I will not be sucked in by my account I want to sell away my characters. I am doing this for 2 reasons; 1. I spend to much time on this game and not with my family. 2. I would hate to have the /played of over 200 days to be wasted with just deleting my account so I have decided that selling my account would be the only sufficient way be happy with getting rid of my account. I just don't want to see all this time wasted for nothing. So now my question: I was wondering if anyone has recently sold their toons because i know it is very difficult to do so with blizzard cracking down on it. So if anyone has experience with this my ears are open. Thanks guys", "summary": "I want to quit WoW and selling my account is the only way I can let go feeling satisfied, I need advice on how to go about this"} {"id": "t3_phw4u", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Trying to date after ending long relationship.... 1. How? 2. Too soon?", "post": "Age & Details: early 20s, newly single female.\n\nAbout two weeks ago my 2.5 year relationship, of which nearly 2 years was spent living together, came to a mutual end. The intensity and length of time almost feels more like a divorce. Things had been emotionally distant for a few months now, but the ties have finally been severed. Things are on good terms, as we make better friends than lovers--still talk a few times a week, and have hooked up once, but agree our future plans are too different.\n\nAnyway, now that I'm a single lady, male attention comes a little too easy. Guy from lab is flirting with me. Guy from work wants me to come over for drinks with his friends. Guy from Ok Cupid wants to meet up for coffee. All apparently nice people, it's not like I'm throwing myself into the land of creepers for the sake of a rebound.\n\nThe thing is, I'm not sure how soon is too soon. I don't want another relationship right away, but I think I think lighthearted dating would be a good way to expand my social circle now that's it's all messed up. But, if feels so strange, going from a pee-with-the-door-open relationship to just grabbing a beer with someone.\n\nReddit, how is this transition to be made? Is it too soon to even bother? Or once you have a long, intense relationship, will those standards always follow you around? I feel like I'm evaluating every guy already in terms of what I had, like, \"well, is he going to do the dishes? What does he want for his future? Would I want to sleep next to him every night?\"", "summary": "How soon to date after breaking off a LTR? How do you mentally transition from that to lighthearted dating?"} {"id": "t3_2ns9ck", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [15F] get my parents [43F and 46M] to stop drinking and smoking?", "post": "I've wanted to get them to stop ever since I was little. They've been drinking and smoking my entire life, with the exception of my mom for 18 months when she had my brother and me. \n\nMy mom is depressed because we don't have money, because we spend it all on beer and cigarettes. My dad is very unhealthy and although he's happy, it's only because of the beer.\n\nMy parents are only in their 40's and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they both died tomorrow. I don't want that to happen. I love them, very much, and I want them to have the money to buy good food to become healthier and nice clothes and finally make our house less stark and actually something I could invite people over to.\n\nI'm only 15. I'm a sophomore in high school and I've been thinking about this ever since the 2nd grade. My parents and I don't communicate a lot, and I was diagnosed with atypical depression and severe anxiety last year... so sending them a link to a website or sitting and talking to them or even writing them a letter is completely out of the question.\n\nI don't know what to do. I don't want my parents to die.", "summary": "My parents smoke and drink and I want to get them to quit, except I don't know how to confront them without crying or not getting the right point across."} {"id": "t3_k3njt", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Negotiation salary and trying to figure out how much I am worth.", "post": "I am separating from the military and will be taking a job for a defense contractor. I am an air traffic controller, and will be working on air traffic systems. It's sort of an odd situation. The job is for a configuration analyst. They wanted an air traffic controller, because the office doesn't have one to tell them if the system acts like it should or shouldn't. They realized it's easier to hire a controller to program than it is to teach a programmer to know what air traffic should look like.\n\nSince they never had a position like this, the HR person and I tried coming up with a number for a salary. She said it should probably be around 28-32 per hour based on what I made in the military and I said I would like 33-36. When it comes down to it, I make 26 per hour in the military, that's not including benefits, and this position doesn't have any benefits for the first 6 months. So she said she will talk to the hiring manager and see what kind of salary.\n\nSo I got a call yesterday saying it wouldn't be what I asked but \"would be in the high 20's\". I don't really like the way it feels because it's going to be less than what we initially quoted. I asked if we could do 30 and she said it will be in the high 20's. \n\nI have been talking to the HR person the entire time. She is going on vacation next week, so I will be talking to her replacement who I never spoke with before on Tuesday. \n\nI meet or exceed all the qualifications in the job listing and they even called all my references who gave them some great info, as well as tracked down 5-6 people I use to work with who I completely forgot about and they all said great things about me. \n\nSo I need a little help with this. I don't know how much I would really be worth.", "summary": "HR manager said I should be worth around 28-32 per hour and I think I am worth more, but the hiring manager wants it in the \"high 20's\"."} {"id": "t3_pkb5i", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Do I need to call the cops right now?", "post": "This is going to be a strange post but I really need advice. I got home from work a moment ago and my front door was closed but not pulled completely shut. I was able to easily push it open without using my key. My friend and I have only been living in this apartment for about a week. I came in and the lights were off and my roomie is still at work. I went into my bedroom and the door was shut (as usual) so I opened it and turned the light on. On my bed was a white towel that was slightly damp and it was sitting on top of my laptop. The towels I use are green and I have no idea how it got on my bed. I asked my boyfriend (who stayed over last night) and my roommate if either of them left it there and both said no. In our building, there is access to our attic and our basement from other parts of the building and the attic door wasn't locked either. Should I call the cops to ask them to take a look around? I know this sounds silly and irrational but the front door was open and there's no explanation for this. I've been hearing strange noises from the attic for the past couple of days. I'm hesitant to call the cops because I don't want to look like an idiot so instead I'm sitting here with mace getting myself more and more freaked out.", "summary": "Came home from work to find that front door was open and a mysterious towel of unknown origin was in my room. Do I call the cops?"} {"id": "t3_uydi9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "26/m and wonder what to do next after first major relationship ended (i dont need help getting over her though)", "post": "Hello,\nSo about a month ago i was cast out (dumped) from my first true relationship after a life of near misses and what not. It lasted six months and i felt that my sheepishness had a lot to do with it. So i made a point to not be mopey and use that loss as incentive to change myself for the better. I am working out more and actively making new friends and things like that but this is not about moving on. \nMy real question is how do i meet more people, and of course meet more gals. I do not drink (ever) so bars are not much help (nor are they really my scene) and all i really have is my work at a barnes and noble and home. Trying ok cupid which but not much going on there, i am average looking i guess (if you want to know what i look like, look at my post history)", "summary": "Slightly nerdy Guy who doesn't drink trying to better himself after 6 month relationship ended, wondering how to meet new people and of course new women."} {"id": "t3_2ipvl3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "Tifu by going to work today", "post": "Okay, so this is my first post and I'm doing it from my phone. \n\nI work at an animal clinic and I had to work Saturday which is where this tifu starts, I guess. These two dogs came in Friday afternoon to board and their parents brought them a bed each. They were super nice and expensive beds. Saturday around noon, one of the receptionists called me into the kennel to show me that one of the dogs had destroyed one of the beds. We had a few laughs, I took some pictures, and then I cleaned it up and didn't think about it again. Today their parents came to get them and the same receptionist that worked the weekend with me pulled me to the front to show the parents the picture of the massacred bed. \nThis is where I fucked up. \nI have a boyfriend that lives in Australia. Sometimes, I like taking naughty pics and sending them to him. I also have an android phone that let's you see some of the pictures that were taken at the same time of a specific picture. \nI clicked on the picture of the torn up bed and showed it to the mom. Immediately, she tapped the screen so the other pictures showed up at the bottom. One of those pictures was of my butt. I quickly turned my phone away and covered it by showing them a different picture of the dogs/beds. In my haste to pull my phone away, I showed the butt pic to the receptionist. Nobody mentioned it.", "summary": "took a picture of some dogs, took some pics of my butt. Accidentally showed some people the butt pics while showing them the dog pics"} {"id": "t3_27xmjc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the point of broadcast standards and practices?", "post": "So the way I understand it (which admittedly may be mistaken) is that cable networks are not subject to FCC regulations so they can broadcast pretty much whatever they want. However, every non-subscription based network has a standards and practices division to police the content to ensure advertisers and sponsors aren't guilty by affiliation to offensive material.\n\nHere's what I don't understand though. Advertisers want to get their ads out to as many viewers as possible and pay a premium to do so. We as a society have demonstrated that we're less offended by rather normal things like sex and language. The last episode of Game of Thrones had 7 million viewers, so I imagine if that show wasn't behind a pay wall that number would be much larger, and I think advertisers would be jumping at the chance to buy ad-space. For a children's network it makes sense, but for any other it seems like S&P is a waste of money.", "summary": "advertisers want to sell ads and even shows with sex, violence and language get viewers so policing it seems like a waste of resources."} {"id": "t3_36mebq", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by setting off the alarm in my house repeatedly.", "post": "So this happened last night at my parents house at 11:30 at night. I decided that I want to have a toke. It was raining like crazy so i decided that since nobody is going to come into my room I would smoke in my bathroom. I had a window similar to [this] but mine is broken and doesn't stay open, and it's too hard to hold it open the whole time. So everytime I took a hit, I would open the window, exhale and close it. When I was finishing up, that's when I noticed the red dot on the alarm sensor that look kind of like [this] blinking. I made the alarm downstairs go off about 7 times and woke my parents up. I gave them a reason to come upstairs, and they didn't appreciate me smoking in their house.", "summary": "I opened and closed the bathroom window multiple times while smoking and made the alarm go off downstairs and woke my parents up. They found me smoking and were pissed for everything."} {"id": "t3_rhlda", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do you keep the interest going in a relationship? How do you get over being only interested in the \"chasing\" part?", "post": "I've had a problem since I started dating, I lose the interest in the other person as soon as I know how they feel about me. I can obsess over someone for months but when the other person gets close BOOM all the feelings disappear. \n\nI can't really believe they weren't true feelings in the first place because it' not just a matter of weeks, sometimes it can be years. And I don't get over it only by sleeping with the person, sometimes it's just a kiss or a declaration that makes it go away. \n\nSo I'm tired of acting like a bitch, because yeah that's kind of the word that describes acting like you're madly in love and the next day forgetting the person. But really it's not deliberate. I'm really into the person and then intimacy shows up and I can't deal with it. I try not to show it but of course at some point it's obvious.", "summary": "20years old girl having problems getting into the serious part of the relationship, whenever intimacy shows up, feelings go away."} {"id": "t3_1j4r5x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "He's (18/M) mad at me (19/F) for something we already discussed and he said he was fine with.... been dating for 2 years. This is our biggest argument ever.", "post": "I've been dating my boyfriend for two years, and we've always agreed on visiting over at his house every weekend. This is the only time I usually get to see him. I spend the night there and my grandmother (who I'm very grateful for) watches my dog so I can stay there. Previously I've visited him and left the dog home alone by herself the whole weekend, which I now realize is awful. Not only is it abusive to the dog, but she does her business everywhere and the smell makes me very ill. \n\nAnyways, last week my grandmother said that she might not be able to watch the dog so I should stay home. I was disappointed, but agreed. I let my boyfriend know and asked if he would be upset with me and he said no, and that he understood. We both acknowledged that it sucked but it was what I have to do.\n\nFast forward to today and my boyfriend is very angry at me. It's as if we never had the conversation about how I had to so this and that yes I'd miss him but it's something I need to do. I've constantly reminded him that he said he wouldn't be upset and he's replied \"Well I guess I lied.\"\n\nHe's also replied \"I guess you just mean more to me than i do to you\" which really upsets me...\n\nMy best guess at why he's so angry is that I used \"might have to stay home\" instead of \"I have to stay home\"...", "summary": "I told my boyfriend that I might not be able to see him this weekend and he said it was okay, now that it's the weekend he's extremely angry at me."} {"id": "t3_2jga9a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 F] with my [30M] are surprise pregnant with first kid, don't know how and when to tell him!", "post": "My husband and I recently got married a few months ago and we have always talked about starting a family but were planning to start in 1-3 years. \n\nWell surprise... we've been going at it like rabbits since we moved in lol. \n\nAnyway, I do consulting work and visit the sites for about 3-5 weeks at a time. I am away right now and I have a bit more than 3 weeks left until I go home. \n\nShould I tell him now - over the phone? Or should I wait until I get back? I would love to do this in person, as it's both of our first child. \n\nI would love to see his face when I tell him, but I don't know if I can hold it in! Gentlemen, what would you prefer? Ladies, could you keep this in for a month? Help!", "summary": "I'm pregnant with our first child but I won't see husband til a month, how and when should I tell him?"} {"id": "t3_1cc72x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "BF (25) of 3.5 years wants me (22 F) to quit my job and enter a higher paying field. If this fair?", "post": "Hey there. Here is the situation: I work in a very low paying field (animal care), while my bf works in a high paying field (medical equipment). I have always wanted to work with animals, and have always known that I would never make very much money doing so. My bf knew all of this when we began dating, and supported me in my educational path.\n\nHowever, now that we are living together and thinking of marriage/kids for the future, we are hitting some barriers. We have a large difference in salaries, and he currently pays a higher percentage of the bills. He wants to have enough money to get married and get a house within the next year or two, but we do not make enough combined at the moment to do either of those things. We live pretty well by my standards, but he wants to be very wealthy. He says my job cannot support the life we want, so I should leave my field and change my career path to something more prosperous. He feels that I will be unhappy in the long run when I max out at such a low salary (likely around 60K with benefits). To give some perspective, house prices here start out around 400K, and the kind of house he wants would be 700K+.\n\nI feel very selfish because of this, as I know he wants to have kids while he is still young, and my pay may hold us back in that regard. But at the same time, I am only 22, and this is my first \"career\" job. I think it's unfair to ask me to quit my career path right at the start. I have no idea if I would even be happy in another field. Am I really holding us back? Is this a reasonable thing for him to ask of me?", "summary": "BF makes more money than I do, and he feels my salary will prevent us from getting married/buying a home/having kids while he is still young."} {"id": "t3_1a6fuv", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Tips on leaving a life behind (25f)", "post": "I moved to the west coast chasing the American dream and fell madly in love with a boy shortly thereafter. I was pretty sure he was \"the one\" and I ended up moving where he lived, a few hours away where I knew nobody but him. Several years later we're still together, still happy. We share a house with some great friends and have several pets. I guess I'm doing pretty well at the American dream bit. \n\nIn the last year, though, I've realized that it just feels like I'm living another person's life, like I'm on a neverending vacation. I'm thousands of miles away from everyone I know and love and it just feels wrong, like I'm living a lie. I'm still happy with my boyfriend but have known for the last year or so that it's not going to last forever -- we have incompatible life goals and more than anything, I miss being alone. \n\nI know I need to get out of here but I don't know how. I wish there was some way to explain to my boyfriend that it's just my time to go but I know no matter how I word it he is going to be devastated and angry. I've broken enough hearts and ruined enough lives ... I don't want to do that to another person but I can't keep dragging this out forever. Is there any way I can avoid destroying him? \n\n**The final question and", "summary": "I think as soon as I give the news I'm leaving, all hell is going to break loose for a few months. I'm looking for tips on limiting the damage."} {"id": "t3_3effuo", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to be polite.", "post": "Ok so this happened when I was in school a 5 years ago when I was 15 but I only thought of it today. I had just finished swimming after school and was standing at my bus stop. Waiting for the bus with my earphones in listening to music. \n\nThis disabled lady then comes to the bus stop and is standing there next to me, she can't see very well and is mentally disabled too. I had noticed her a few times before at the bus stop and she usually talked to one or two people there and the the bus driver too.\n\n So she turns to me and says something, I don't really hear all of what she says because I have my earphones in. So I take them out and I think I hear her say \"Is the bus coming?\"\n\nTo which I reply \"No, I don't think so\" and I smile. Then she gives me a sort of hurt look and the other people at the bus stop sort of look at me oddly. She then turns to someone else and asks \"will you tell me when my bus is coming?\"\n\nI'm standing there while the guy says yes and I feel and look like the world's biggest knob.", "summary": "I misheard a disabled lady asking me to tell her when her bus is coming because she can't see very well and proceeded to reject her like a douche."} {"id": "t3_4wtfcn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 F] ghosted on my boyfriend [22M] while sexting", "post": "Bear with me please, its long. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 months now and its been wonderful. Everything a girl can ask for in a guy. The sex is mind-blowing too (we both lost our virginities to each other)\n\nThere is one thing that's really beginning to bother me and that's how insecure and shy I feel when it comes to being more assertive during sex or even if its sexting. Usually he's the one taking the lead but he's expressed a few times about how he would like to be on top or give him a blowjob. Its not that I don't want to; I would love to especially given how much he cares about pleasing me and I want to put in the same effort for him. Its just that I feel completely clueless about how to proceed with things (like how to even thrust) and don't want him to be disappointed. I am wondering if it could be stemming from not ever having watched porn? Even if that sounds silly. It was never really my idea of fun and well. We tried having this convo before and his advice was do something if you truly want to and not for me. Don't think I got my point across well to him. But how do I fix this?\n\nThe same issue happens while sexting, we are in a long distance relationship. We would start off subtly (which I am fine with) but then when it comes to describing what I would do to him, I feel clueless even if I can imagine it vividly in my head because I worry about when the time comes I would not know how to do anything. This happened last night and this time around I just disappeared from the convo which he knows is very unlike me while we are texting. Later I checked my phone and his texts were basically how I left him hanging while he was turned on. I felt terrible when I did it and his texts made me feel worse. Its not how I want to treat him and I don't want it to affect our relationship. How can I make it up to him?", "summary": "Ghosted and feel terrible about it. In general am very shy when it comes to sexual activities and need to fix this."} {"id": "t3_kthpe", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Neighbor mother might be abusing her child? What should I do?", "post": "My neighbor probably doesn't know just how thin the walls are in this apartment. I keep hearing her child scream like crazy (usually the kind of scream associated with uncontrollable crying) and then I hear what I think is the mother spanking/hitting her kid. The kid also stays awake much later than it probably should (12 am). I don't know if she speaks fluent english, because I haven't really ever heard her speak it. I did hear the voice of a man once, but he was telling the kid \"STOP IT!\" Should I talk to them and politely ask them to refrain from whatever it is that they're doing? Should I talk to my landlord? Leave a note?\n\nAny feedback is highly appreciated, even if you can link me to a similar situation that's already been submitted to askreddit.\n\nThank you.", "summary": "Neighbor's kid cries all the time and I suspect it's because the mom is being awful to it. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_48hirz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19 F] bf [22m] wants to stay friends because he says we argue alot.", "post": "He was my first relationship. We have only been official since November since before we were just friends. Although were were 'just friends' we still had basically a relationship without the title. \n\nThe reason for our last argument was the fact that I freaked out that he was out with his roommate getting Boba. It was my fault that I freaked out, I get annoyed that he always hangs out with her. I know i shouldn't get angry with him having female friends. It's just that I had trouble trusting him because recently I found messages of him talking inappropriately to a girl. He apologized for that.\n\nI know it definitely doesn't seem like it but I know he's not doing anything with his roommate. I basically overreacted, and called him multiple times when he was with her. He then said he was done and that we should stay friends. \n\nI feel really depressed. I keep messaging him apologizing saying I will trust him. But he says it's a bad idea. I don't want to leave him. I need someone to talk to, I feel sick. BTW this was a ldr.", "summary": "Does anyone have advice for me. I feel sick and I want to feel better after ex won't take me back. I want to get over this."} {"id": "t3_3hk6yi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23M] asked her [21F] to be exclusive, it didn't go as I hoped and now don't know if I'm doing the right thing", "post": "After dating this girl for 3 weeks I asked her to be exclusive. While 3 weeks doesn't sound like much, over this time we had talked almost everyday, spent a fair bit of time together (6 dates, would have been more but I got pretty sick), both told each other on several different occasions that we like one another and like spending time with each other. While we have only had sex once, whenever we are together we are always doing some sort of intimate act (holding hands, cuddling, kissing etc.).\n\nWhen I asked her to be exclusive she said that she is not ready to to jump into another relationship (she has previously told me her ex was an asshole) and that she would like things to continue as they were. I'm fine with this and to keep things going as they were, I set up a date. This date was eventually postponed because of her getting injured. I'm the one who asked if she wanted to postpone it till she felt a bit better (trying to be nice).\n\nNeither of us has made an attempt to initiate contact since then with my reason being that I'm trying to take a step back so I do not come across as clingy and needy because that will just push her away. I do not know her reason.\n\n I am also trying to see other girls again while still trying to see her because I am still single (regardless of how I feel or what I want) and I don't think shutting down and waiting around forever will do me any good emotionally. Even though I'm trying to step back, it is making me anxious and I can't stop thinking about the recent lack of contact.\n\nThanks for reading that essay, I just thought you should know all the info before I got your advice haha. Now for my questions.\n1. Do you think I read the signals wrong before asking her to be exclusive?\n2. I'm worried we are drifting apart. Am I overthinking things because the date was cancelled and we have been communicating less?\n3. As hard as it has been, should I keep doing what I have been doing in regards to stepping back and seeing other girls?", "summary": "she isn't ready for a relationship, I'm pretty sure she still wants to see me but anxiety about it is getting the better of me. Am i overthinking things and should I keep doing what I have been?"} {"id": "t3_2awhb7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf [27 F] and I [28 M] are breaking up as I am moving country - is it okay to see other girls before I go?", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 2 years. She is doing a teaching course and needs to work in a school next year or redo her entire course. I want to travel as I have finished a 2 year course and have an opportunity in Australia this year (we live in the UK). We have both known about it for many months but we have simply pretended it is not happening to make it easier.\n\nNow I am three months from leaving and I know we are going to split up. We live in different cities so we only see each other every two weeks, sometimes three. I don't want us to split up now but essentially our relationship is over. As I am soon to become single again I'm noticing girls around me much more, one of whom I am informed is pretty into me.\n\nShould I just leave all of that alone; essentially cheat on my girlfriend and not say anything or just break up with her now and then I can do what I want? \n\nI feel the last option might upset her more but I don't want to cheat on her but the relationship is all but dead so it won't change anything :( any thoughts?\n\nI am aware I am asking if cheating is okay but I think these are pretty unusual circumstances.", "summary": "My Gf and I are splitting up as I am moving country soon but still together now. I am getting interest from another girl: should I ignore her, cheat on my gf or just break up with her and move on?"} {"id": "t3_wvyjd", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "Is there any harm to getting only 6 hours of sleep per night? Can anyone provide encouragement or tips to switch to 6 from 8 hours?", "post": "I've decided to try limiting myself to 6 hours of sleep per night. I have a decently long commute and if I try to get 8 hours each night, I limit myself to around 2 hours of leisure time per night, without exercise.\n\nWe always hear about famous and successful people who get by on 4 hours (Petraeues), 5 hours (Clinton), or whatever, so I figure there's no biological reason I can't get by on 6.\n\nBut when I only get six hours on my current regime, I'm exhausted all day. I'm worried that my work will suffer and I'll be a zombie.\n\nWill the exhaustion last? Will I eventually get used to it?", "summary": "Can anyone help me get over my \"Mental Block\" that tells me I NEED 8 hours of sleep? I need to convince myself I'll be able to function properly on 6 hours or less, day in and day out."} {"id": "t3_3pessj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I (F24) start dating wealthy (M50)?", "post": "I (F24) recently met an older man (M50) in a pub. I was quite drunk and he started to chat me up, buy me and my friends drinks, offered to buy champagne etc. Turns out he's quite wealthy and he offered to take me \"anywhere I wanted to go, 5 star!\". \n\nI'm not normally a 'gold digger' and I'm not materialistic in the slightest, but I have just got out of a terrible seven year long relationship and feel free and know that right now I am looking for a 'companion' with no emotional 'ties'. I have also never been treated financially by a man before so the thought of it is very exciting. \n\nI am not naive, I know what he is after and I feel like this 'arrangement' could be beneficial to us both. He wants to take me out for dinner this week, and to Amsterdam (my choice) next month. Should I go? Has anyone else done anything similar?", "summary": "I (F24) met an older wealthy man (M50) who wants to take me abroad. Should I go?"} {"id": "t3_1smasy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I 18 [m] saw my ex 18 [f] on a dating site.", "post": "This is all so new and weird to me. I dated this girl back when I was in highschool for about two months, and it was the most meaningless relationship I've ever been in. We dated about four years ago after becoming pretty good friends then I got busy with school activities and stopped talking for I think like two weeks.\n\n Of course we broke up after that, but it ended with me calling her and asking her something like \"do you still like me?\" which she responded with \"no\" and then things ended. We haven't talked since and were still friends on Facebook whatever. After I dated her I dated someone else almost a year later for two years then her and I broke up a year ago, and I admittedly still love her even though she's a terrible person who cheated on me lied to me etc. I haven't spoken to her since our break up and would rather not. I've been told a great way to get over her would be to start off with someone new, and I'm trying with this site okcupid. \n\nSo I went on it I've answered about 300 questions, and I notice something I have a 99% match with someone that looks like my ex. Worried that she might see I visited her profile I log out and view it from just looking at the link without being logged in. I'll be damned it's my ex (the first one that we only dated for about a couple months.) I keep answering more and more questions and it sits at 95%-99% I'm freaking out a bit. Every other person is at 80% or below its weird that it would match me up with her out of the hundreds of other people on that site within a 500 mile radius. Should I say something to her do you guys think she's seen me? This is just too weird. Our relationship was technically terrible but retrospectively we gave it no chance. Before dating we had become really good friends. I'm just so confused I don't usually believe in this match up percentage shit but of all the people she's by far the highest match within 500 miles. I'd appreciate advice.", "summary": "I saw my ex on a dating site and we have a very high match rate out of the hundreds of people in a 500 mile radius. Should I act on it?"} {"id": "t3_35t96m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] with my gf [23F] 8 months together, I am most likely leaving for graduate school. My gf thinks this will break us, what do i do?", "post": "So this is my story:\nI have been seeing my current gf for around 1.5 years now. When we met i had already planned to go to Australia, however we kept in touch and when i came back when got a relationship.\n\nWe had this relationship for 6 months, when she decided to go to Australia (for 5 months). It has been going well for quite some time now, but we've started discussing what we plan on doing after she comes back.\n\nShe has one more year in her current college and i will be finished this year. I am planning on working for a year or moving to a different city for graduate school. I told her about this and she reacted very strangely. Distance has never been a real issue, but now she is saying that she feel unsure and that the distance would be difficult because she will be busy (the distance will be approx. 2h by train).\n\nShe said that she would support me if i would go, but that she felt that we would grow apart if we would do this. Now I'm really stressing about this.\nFurthermore she just added that she will most likely go to a different city for her graduate school. Which means that one way or another this distance will happen.\n\nI am stressing. Should i just break up to avoid all this stress?", "summary": "Gf thinks ldr would not work, suggest i go away but she thinks we will break up. I feel different. what now?"} {"id": "t3_3tluzm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22 F] partner [25 M] of 3 years is not romantic or affectionate and it bothers me.", "post": "Here's a little background: we've been dating for a total of about 3 years now, our first date was back in 2012 after meeting online. (It was wonderful, and I knew he was the one for me!) We dated for 2 years, and then broke up to see other people for another 2 years before getting back together 8 months ago. \n\nThere are trust issues after everything we've gone through, but we are stable and have a lot of fun together. We moved across the country together, have an apartment, etc. My issue is that he never really (or ever, except a few times) has gone out of his way to make me feel special, or done a romantic gesture (small or large.) \n\nIt's been A) Difficult not to compare to my ex who was extremely touchy-feely/romantic and B) Difficult thinking of ways to encourage him that I love even the little things (lately I've left some notes around the house with cute messages for him.)\n\nDoes anyone else have a SO that just isn't the type of person to express love/passion very often? Did it work out? Should this not be a big deal? \n\nI realize that this could be a type of personality and there is nothing wrong with that! I just want us both to be happy and feel fulfilled in this relationship that we both love being in. I hope I explained this well enough, I'll be happy to answer any questions if it is confusing.", "summary": "Boyfriend of 3 years isn't usually romantic and it can leave me feeling a bit empty. Want to know if it's a personality thing and if other's deal with this too."} {"id": "t3_cae5r", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is this fraud?", "post": "So I get a cashiers check in the mail, in a blue and white express mail cardboard envelope thingy for three thousand and something dollars. Nothing else with it, just the check. Now of course I think it is fraud, but I am wondering where the fraud comes in.\n\nWhen I google the bank, Security National Bank, I found a legit bank matching the name and logo. When I google the two names on the check, Peter Gandlova, and Michelle Allaus or Alfaus(it's a signature so it's hard to read) I get nothing. Nor when I google the name on the envelope Bobby Fernandez. Plus there is nothing else with it asking me to buy anything or pay to get my money. So where is the scam.", "summary": "Got cashiers check in mail, think it's fraud, but they don't ask me to buy anything or pay to get my money, where is the fraud?"} {"id": "t3_kmzxo", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the best story an elderly person has told you?", "post": "I'll start: This is one of my favorite stories from the millions my grandfather has told me. He recently told me that when he was six years old living in Pensacola, Florida, USA, he would skip school and walk down to the Navy piers and talk to the sailors. They would let him hang out on the decks of old destroyers and in the cockpits of planes. His mother had died when he was four and his older sister was already in high school. His father worked their land to support his two living children (two had already died of malaria). This was in the late 1920's early 1930's. His sister, who was 16, would drop him off at school and he would just leave and walk 5 miles away to the pier. His teacher found out what he was doing and he got into trouble with his father. Nothing bad happened to him, no molestation, no pedophiles, no drowning. He was SIX! I have a 6 year old and a 9 year old and if they stray too far from the sidewalk I freak out. It was a different time. He grew up to become a Navy pilot in WWII and was in the Pacific. He is an amazing man!", "summary": "my g-father was six and would skip school and go to Navy piers 5 miles from his house, didn't die or get pedobear raped."} {"id": "t3_vpwea", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How long is too long to hate your ex after a break up? [21/f, um, broke up with 20/m like a year and a half ago?]", "post": "I broke up with my ex over a year and a half ago. It was not really a good relationship--I felt smothered physically and emotionally, and I just don't think we were compatible. (I could go into all the ways I think he's a douchebag here, but I won't. Or I'll save it for later.) Despite the fact that he painted me as the bad guy, I have great, fulfilling relationships with other people, great sex, and I'm way happier than I've ever been. However, there are moments where I'm just sitting and thinking and I'll suddenly think to myself, \"God, I'd like to kick that motherfucker in the testicles over and over with a pair of steel-toed boots.\" \n\nBesides the fact that I think he's a jerk, I guess the reason I still hate his guts is because 1) I feel like my public image is still something along the lines of \"home wrecker Jezebel\" despite the fact that this relationship was not serious, and 2) I really don't feel like I ever got a chance to \"close that chapter\" because I was in a position where I couldn't defend myself and we never really talked about it, and 3) he never listened and didn't really let me talk about my feelings without making it about him.\n\n I recognize that there were points where I should have been more assertive with what I wanted, but I've processed this and I really don't feel like blaming myself any more. I've talked with my therapist and my friends about it, but **I guess I'm just wondering if it's possible to have any catharsis for a break up like this so long after the fact, especially if the other person is a total uncooperative asshole?", "summary": "I'm still pissed off at my ex long after I dumped him, how do I get over it if I've already done all the stereotypical \"moving on\" stuff?"} {"id": "t3_2s79dj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm in love with the guy I've been seeing and I don't think he feels the same.", "post": "19(almost 20) year old girl. I've been seeing this guy(21) for almost two months. He's funny, sarcastic, arty, and just pretty much everything I look for in a guy. The day after Christmas I realized I was in love with him. He's still bitter over his ex that cheated on him. Plus I found out he's been on Tinder still. I want to give him more time and not rush this. Its just really difficult when I'm ready to make it official and I'm having to stay alert to make sure \"I love you\" doesn't slip out. I always go to his place to hangout, but the other day he came to my house. So maybe he's more into me than I think? I just don't know. I dont want to rush it and scare him off, but I also want to share how I feel.", "summary": "I'm in love with the guy I've been seeing but he's bitter over his ex. I wasn't too tell him how I feel but I'm scared."} {"id": "t3_16gzit", "subreddit": "self", "title": "I'm not a lazy idiot anymore, and I love it", "post": "I used to be super lazy, out of shape, overly sarcastic, socially awkward, you name it. But around a month ago, I realized what was stopping me from becoming a better person was myself; I was just judging myself for wanting to become one of those \"stupid\" positive motivational kids. But I decided to exercise daily, limit myself to an hour of gaming each day (I was SUPER addicted to Minecraft) and do some arts and music.\n\nBoy it feels wonderful. I now love piano and no longer have to piss off my piano instructor. I found foraging, which I love. I've got plenty of plans for this year already. I'm sleeping better and at more healthy times. I'm even seeing positive things in school, which I used to hate a lot.\nToday I went on a game emulator. Oh, what fun! But when I got off I was fucking scared. My body ached again, it was later than I thought, and I was feeling like the old idiot me. No. I changed and \nI'm not going back.\n\nI don't know why I wrote this. Maybe I'm hoping someone else really young will read this and change themselves. Sorry for the wall of text. I'm also sorry that I probably came off as thinking I'm perfect. I don't. No one is, and that's okay. But why not be as good as you can?", "summary": "Analyzed myself, and I'm slowly changing for the better. I'm sure if you do the same to yourself, you'd find something as well to change. Have a nice day!"} {"id": "t3_3upqzl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Best friend [33F] keeps implying I [22F] don't care enough about her", "post": "My best friend and I have very different kinds of personalities. She's direct and extroverted, she doesn't mind conflict, she cares a lot about everyone around her and makes a point to show it.\n\nOn the other hand I am a chronic conflict avoider, introverted, sort of aloof and not really connected to my feelings. I'm also not very verbal.\n\nWe've been friends for 3 years and I appreciate her a lot. She's a good friend. But she gets mad at me for things that are directly connected to my personality.\n\nFor example if I disappear for a couple of hours from the internet, she gets worried and calls me. If she disappears for a day or so I don't even notice. And she gets mad at me for not noticing a 24 hour absence.\n\nIt actually annoys the hell out of me because I like my space.\n\nShe always tell people to take care of me etc. Yesterday she got mad because \"I don't look out for her\" (i. e. I never told anyone specifically \"take care of her\").\n\nI don't like her asking people to take care of me. I can take care of myself. It annoys me also when she had jokingly threatens people to harm them if something happens to me.\n\nShe has a lot of these kind of behaviours which I find de-empowering. I mean if I told her to take care of my 21/M housemate while I'm gone it'd be really weird. It makes me feel like I can't be trusted on my own.\n\nRegardless I tolerate her being like that because that's how she is, and she's my friend. But she can't seem to tolerate well that I'm not big on that kind of stuff and gets mad at me for not being like that.\n\nHow can I make her understand that it's not because I don't love her, it's that I'm a different person and show affection in a different way?", "summary": "My friend thinks I don't love her because I don't show affection like she does. What can I do to make her understand it's just who I am?"} {"id": "t3_4bb8i6", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Should I take advantage of employer's homeownership program?", "post": "My employer has a home ownership program to incentivize staff to purchase single-family homes as long as they are within a nearby geographical boundary. The incentive is this: $50k or 20% of purchase price (whichever is less). The subsidy will be paid monthly, split over 7 years, so long as staff remains employed and the home is their primary residence. \n\nI've kinda ignored this benefit for some time, as the geographical area is not very appealing. But to give you an idea, even though it's not a very appealing area, homes go for $350k to $450k+. Homes in nicer neighborhoods are double that easily. \n\nAs things stand right now, even though I make decent money for most other places, it's really not a drop in bucket toward homeownership in the better areas around here. Rent being as high as it is, it's difficult to save the kinda of money needed for a 20% downpayment on homes in better neighborhoods. At this rate, I will never be able to afford property in the better parts of town. But with this program, I might be able to at least get a property partially funded by work. Though, I should add, the money will be considered taxable income. \n\nI'm really just starting my research, so wanted to hear thoughts from folks here. In Personal Finance we're always encouraging maxing out 401k matches because it's free money from our employers. Technically this program is free money as well. Any folks here have experience with programs like this? I was recently promoted and I see a long-term path here\u2014very secure work environment. I worry about being stuck in a neighborhood I will hate, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe in 5-7 years, the home will be worth enough to make a little profit, and open the door to something better. I know it's a risk, but is it better than doing nothing at all, and continue down the path of never-ownership?", "summary": "Employer provides monthly subsidy toward homeownership in not very appealing neighborhood, but very high-cost of living area. Should I buy to get on the property ladder or not?"} {"id": "t3_45y8ps", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 M] with my girlfriend [28 F] 2 weeks, she opened up about past sexual expieriences, I cannot seem to handle it.", "post": "Ok, so, everything is going good, we really seem to bond and we like each other very much. I know her for a long time and it's been two weeks going out and doing stuff, we are sexually active and both enjoy it. Lately we talked about past stuff and she told me that with another guy they were into swinging and 2guys-1girl stuff, she told me that the other guy proposed it and she accepted, but from what I understood it happened on multiple occasions. I told her that I'm ok with her having done stuff but that is where I draw the line and that I will never be able to do that, she told me that although it was an ok expierience, she doesnt want to do anything like that again, that it was not her idea and that Im everything she's ever wanted, she wants me e.t.c. I was shocked and told her so and also told her that although I also have done such weird stuff, I could never do it with her because, well I can't. I am really in love right now, I think she could be the one for me, but when we are not together images come to my head and haunt me. I really need your help", "summary": "Gf has had some extreme (for me) sexual expieriences, I cannot get over it, what do?"} {"id": "t3_fb1dd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "need help in a crappy situation", "post": "Me (23) and my GF (29) broke up last October after a six year relationship. I fell in love with an other girl i met at my university after the relationship with my GF went for the bad. i really hurt my GF and because of my sense of guilt and because i do still like her as a friend i decided to give the relation one more shot because i also had the feeling i didn't try hard enough to fix the relation. Now we are back together she asked me face to face if i ever slept with that other girl and i told her no, but i did. I lied to her and i feel really bad about it, I think this isn't a good start of our renewed relationship but i can't tell it to her, i will only hurt her more than i already did and i'm done with that. I don't know if the relationship will ever be the same or even will get better, not sure what to do. I know i fucked up and feel like an idiot. I still have a friendship with the other girl as well, because of my choice of study i can't avoid her, there are only 30 people doing the same study in the whole country and because of fusions we will see each other everyday at least until the end of the study. i don't want to give up my study even if my GF should ask for it i had to work really hard for it and i am not throwing that away. the problem is now i'm back with my girlfriend and i'm worried that it will never be the same, I almost everyday see the girl with wich i fell in love with.Both say they love me really much. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. Dear fellow redditors can you help me see a solution?", "summary": "broke up with girl got back toether, worried that things will never be the same again. Other girl still in picture, still like her and don't want to hurt her feelings too again.."} {"id": "t3_15zhtb", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I'm not even sure what to think of these sequence of events. 24f/24m", "post": "Before NYE, a guy I was dating told me that he wasn't interested in getting into a relationship due to some issues getting over a previous relationship, but he was still interested in hanging out. I assumed this was a polite thing he was saying to me in order to make me feel better, and I didn't contact him.\n\nFast forward to after New Year's: I receive an email stating that he has broken his phone, thus, he lost my number. He wanted me to send it to him and signed it with \"I hope you get this soon\". I'm completely confused as to why he would want my number again (especially since I had given it to him via email before so he could just look it up), let alone why he seemed so anxious about getting it.\n\nLess than 24 hours after this email, I find a note on my car saying the same thing and that he wanted me to call him. For some reason, this act seemed incredibly creepy to me and definitely too forward for someone who isn't interested in dating me.\n\nI called him in order to confront the situation, and he said he just wanted to hang out that night. So apparently getting that mid-week hangout was super important. Regardless, we set up tentative plans to meet up on Saturday.\n\nIs it just me or are these some pretty strong, mixed signals to be sending to a person you're not interested in?", "summary": "Guy who says he isn't interested in me jumps through hoops in order to get my number which he lost, to the point that he sticks a note on my car. What is going on?"} {"id": "t3_4erm8k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25M] with my friend [20F], am I reading too much into it.", "post": "i got to know this girl at work after a few months she started working there roughly a year ago. At first, I found out few guys at work had already asked her out and she said no. So i treated her like a friend, but i started falling for her once she started doing a lot of small things like give rides to the bus stop, bringing my work papers and returns to me. \n\nSo i asked her out, and she said no too busy. Which hurt..., a lot more than i thought it would. So i kept my distance, didn't put out any effort to go out of my way to see her and when we ran into each other I acted like \"no hard feelings\". \n\nshe was still really nice and i still fell for her from time to time, only to tell my self she isn't interested, she said NO. I was starting to get better at not giving a shit at all, \n\nbut lately she doesn't stop mentioning things like \"you look sooo good today\" or \"sorry I just got lost in your eyes there for a second\" or \"I need you in my life\". \n\nat first i told my self she already said no, ignore, But now when she says stuff like this and co workers are around us they make it seem like she is interested and im dumb.\n\nI should mention i lost a decent amount of weight roughly 50lbs (mostly when i first met her), and put on a bit as well.", "summary": "What should I do, I fell for a girl who loves getting attention from anyone. I can't tell if she will do or say anything to get this attention or i'm being a dumb and keep falling for stupid shit."} {"id": "t3_1c4cgt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Have any of your friends done anything that made you irrationally angry? How do you deal with that?", "post": "Last night at 0215 I got a phonecall from a long standing friend of mine who told me he had had a car accident which should have have never bloody happened in the first place. He called me sitting at the roadside with a bleeding head and an upside down smashed up car.\n\n Rather than sympathy, I think I felt anger; i told him to call an ambulance. I think he answered another call as I got cut off and he didn't pick up my follow on call so I can only presume someone was taking care of it, indeed I woke up this morning to text messages saying he did have a head injury but was physically ok. I will speak to him later today to find out what happened fully etc. \n\nHowever, last night, this phone call made me feel so stressed I got stomach ache and couldn't sleep for ages. But I was so angry too - mostly because of his stupidity. I don't think the anger has worn off and I want to berate him; even though its not my place and will be ineffective. I want to tell him to sort his life out and stop being so fucking stupid. \n\nAnyway, Reddit: have your friends ever done something that you feel more angry about than you need to? What happened? How did the friendship continue after that?", "summary": "my friend crashed his car and rang me and instead of sympathy I was actually pretty pissed at him. Tell me your angry at friends stories."} {"id": "t3_298u38", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Both of my(24f) parents (late 50s) are broke and declining fast. I do not want to help them. Looking for insight from anyone who has experienced something similar.. What will happen? (x-post relationship_advice)", "post": "Long story short, my parents screwed up big time in life and now that I am in control of myself financially and otherwise, I do not want them to drag me down (they succeeded in doing this for the first 20 years of my life). \n\nBoth of them have serious medical issues (COPD, Hep C, etc.) and DO NOT take care of themselves at all. They are separated and do not live together. My mom barely makes it paycheck to paycheck and is being hounded by debt collectors. She asks me for money on a monthly basis and I am learning to stand my ground and not help her. My dad is on disability and works randomly but as far as I know does not have any savings to speak of. \n\nWhen they get to a point where they can no longer take care of themselves, I do not want to help them. Specifically not financially. I am looking for people with any similar experience, What will happen? What can I expect? I do not want them to end up homeless, but I really need to stand my ground.", "summary": "What will happen to my broke parents when they can no longer take care of themselves and I refuse to help them? "} {"id": "t3_28iq4g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Curious how to handle my bulimic 15 year old sister in-law (SIL) around my 10 year old step-daughter?", "post": "My husbands side of the family just recently found out that his 15 year old sister is bulimic. Her mother found a bag of vomit in her room and confronted her about it and she said she got sick in the middle of the night. She believed her and then about a month and a half ago she found yet another bag of vomit in her room and that's when my SIL admitted that she has been binging and purging since November. She'll binge and eat so much food its insane and then the next day she'll only eat an apple, run 10 miles, and do obsessive amount of sit-ups. She cries all the time and she doesn't know that everyone in the family other than her parents and older sister know about all this. \n\nMy step-daughter, who is 10, has a very close relationship with my SIL. They have sleep overs and hang out and talk often. But after I found out that she has an eating disorder and is in severe depression, I don't feel comfortable with her being around my SIL alone. \n\nIs this being irrational? My step-daughter is in competitive gymnastics, her mom is a fitness nut, her step-dad is a moronic iron man. I have had problems with her when she was about 6 calling herself fat and hiding the food she was suppose to eat and then throw it away when I wouldn't see her. She hasn't done this in awhile, but it makes me very nervous.", "summary": "How would you handle this situation with your child if you found out someone close to them was suffering from bulimia and depression?"} {"id": "t3_2lu2el", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by throwing my backpack at my mom's freind", "post": "So my parents are divorced and my dad has to go to work early in the morning, so he brings me over to my mom's house in the morning at around 6:30, because she goes to work later in the day. It's complicated, but that's all you need to know.\n\nLast night, I didn't go to sleep until around 2:00. So when my dad woke me up in the morning at 6:30 I was pissed and extremely tired. I wasn't really thinking straight.\n\nWhen we finally arrived at my mom's house, I unlocked the door and went up into my room because I wanted to go back to sleep, since school doesn't start until 8:00. I walked into my room, and I instantly knew something was wrong. There was clothes all over the floor and a suitcase in the corner, but I didn't really think much of it because I was so tired.\n\nI walked up to the bed and saw a human-shaped figure underneath the covers. At first, I thought It was my mom sleeping in my bed, but I dismissed that idea because I couldn't see her head. So I thought it must just be an odd arranging of the covers. I threw my backpack at the figure, just in case. I wasn't thinking straight. It was a stupid idea. When it hit the figure, I knew I had fucked up. A woman sprang upwards from the bed, and she stared me straight in the eyes, a true face of fear. She said, in a super scared voice, \"Hey John (me), It's me, Wendy, you're moms friend. I'm sorry for sleeping in here, I didn't know you were coming over!\" In my mind I was saying \"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!\" I said, thinking quickly, \"SORRY!\" and slammed the door. The rest of the week staying with her was extremely awkward.", "summary": "I threw my backpack onto a stranger who was in my bed who turned out to be my mom's friend who was sleeping over."} {"id": "t3_ok6ul", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Dating and disclosure", "post": "Hi dating_advice long time lurker, first time poster. I come to you seeking advice. \n\nI am new to dating (post long term relationship) and want to be honest with the people that I date that I am also dating other people. I would like to know what a reasonable time frame for this disclosure is. \n\nI am in a small community (m25) and have been casually dating a f(25 for 2 months. We've both agreed it's not going to evolve, but we still go out dancing and we have a lot of fun together. Sometimes she stays over, sometimes she doesn't. We are both free to see each other people. She regularly goes out to meet with guys. \n\nI've also been heavily flirting with this other f(25), I really like her. I didn't really think she'd be interested, but she seems into it. Recently, we flirted a bunch and decided to grab a few beers. We went out and had a lot of fun. To be honest, until the night of, I wasn't sure if she was just into it as friends, but we had such a great time that I know it's not. I didn't make a move, so we didn't kiss or anything, just had fun. \n\nF1 knows I went on this date and endorses it. Because I was not sure about that evening, I didn't say anything to F2. We've agreed to go on a second outing, with considerably more innuendo to the flirting. I'd like to kiss her next time, I just don't want to make her feel deceived.\n\nFor all I know she may be seeing other people as well, or know about F1. I don't want to be weird about it and freak her out, I just want to be honest and not deceive her. I like her a lot.", "summary": "casually seeing someone, small community, taking another girl out, when to tell her. sorry for the wall of text"} {"id": "t3_2lx1mu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22/F] told my boyfriend [26/M] that I love him and he hasn't said it back.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together since late February or early March 2014. I said \"I love you\" to him a while ago (probably in August?) and he hasn't said it back. He has said it a couple times when he's been drunk but I don't know of that counts. He is always doing and saying other things that make me feel special and loved, but I feel like something is missing because he doesn't say he loves me.\n\nI have told him that it's hard for me to feel like things are one sided and that I don't make him feel the way that he makes me feel. He was very understanding but he still hasn't said it to me. I have not told him that I feel like if he doesn't love me by now, he isn't going to.\n\nIt's frustrating because I want to say it to him so often because he does all these little things that just make me so happy but I'm afraid of the awkwardness and hurt feelings that will follow when he doesn't reciprocate. \n\nI do not feel like I should break up with him at all, as every other aspect of the relationship is awesome and I'm very happy. Am I making too big of a deal about this?", "summary": "I dropped the L bomb and my boyfriend has not said it back for a few months. I don't know if I am more upset than the situation warrants."} {"id": "t3_riwcu", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Slipped a disk in my jaw today, specialist can't see me for three weeks.. advice from people with TMJ?", "post": "I'll try to make this short... this morning I woke up and couldn't open my mouth. When I was finally able to force it open I felt and heard a crack and pop in my left jaw joint (TMJ). I managed to get my jaw to relax and fell back asleep, but when I woke up about 30 minutes later my jaw was again stuck. I managed to work it out again and realized it wasn't an isolated incident. \n\nI made an appointment with my dentist and she checked the joints on both sides and I had obvious signs of TMJ plus she believes the disc has slipped between the joints on the left side. She told me all of this without me even mentioning that it was the same side I'd felt the pop and crack on that morning. She referred me to a specialist, but as written in the title the specialist can't see me for three weeks. My jaw is sore and I'm barely able to open it up without discomfort and pain.\n\nMy biggest problem right now is that I'm taking 18 hours in school this semester (so I can graduate in May), I'm working on weekends, raising my daughter and packing up to move houses in less than a month. This blindsided me today and I need some simple, easy solutions to help me deal with the pain and discomfort in the mean time. I can't spend an exorbitant amount of time dealing with this, but it's also something I can't ignore. Neither my dentist nor the specialist gave me any recommendations on cutting down on pain or discomfort, or keeping my jaw from locking while I'm sleeping. I just wondered if anyone here had any experience with this and could give me advice that would help me minimize how much this affects my life right now.", "summary": "Slipped a disc in my jaw. Specialist can't see me yet. Make the pain stop so I can go about my life (somewhat) normally."} {"id": "t3_279zte", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (24/M) getting tired of this sporadic infatuation with her (22/F). What can I do to stop it?", "post": "I met this girl a couple of years ago. We clicked but had seperate lives, so instead of going through the standard dating/romantic relationship pattern we kind of texted and talked on facebook, always semi-flirting.\n\nThis dynamic is going on way too long. There are short periods of infatuation (from both sides) where she'll be sending me texts late at night when she's going out (probably drunk), periods of shallow, dry conversation and sometimes a couple weeks of radio silence. This keeps on repeating itself and I still find myself carried away like a teenager when she's sending me those sweet little texts.\n\nAfter all these years the flame got smaller but it's still frustrating when she's acting like she wants to commit but nothing ever comes from it. I have the feeling like I'm doing the same with her by acting cold most of the time, so we're both getting on each others nerves. \n\nHow can I put this to an end? I have the feeling that I'm having this idealized image of her after all this time of not seeing each other, which makes it worse. I also realize it's quite irrational, and sometimes when I'm having a weak moment and I'm not working on something I get carried away.", "summary": "Girl and I clicked, but nothing ever comes from it, only some sporadic infatuation on both sides which leads to nothing, which makes me slightly depressed. How do I end this?"} {"id": "t3_4i2ul4", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by making fun of a teacher's salary", "post": "I am an exchange student in the United States and my academic year here is approaching its end. I am enrolled in an IB Calculus class although I am not testing in IB (it's the only Calculus class). We took our class final and everyone is spending their time in that class just solving IB practice tests. I, however, decided to catch up on the maths lessons I have missed during the year so I can go back ready to my country.\n\nThe statistics teacher next door has a free period during our class so she usually walks in and sits down with the calculus teacher. The syllabus I am working with does include a few statistics lesson but I needed a general idea of what actually I should be focusing on. I decided to ask the statistics teacher just for a bit of guidance since it's her free period.\n\nI walk up to the teacher's desk and I explain my situation to them. The calculus teacher tells me to \"just google it\" but I told her I'd rather get guidance from a real teacher. She said she knows that but the statistics teacher is on her free period now and doesn't work during that time.\n\nI was about to leave the desk, I was not happy with their reaction but I completely understood where they were coming from. The statistics teacher noticed that I'm displeased and jokingly said \"Unless you pay me how much a teacher earns per hour!\" I was furious at that remark and I was well aware that teachers do not earn a lot of money as they always complained about it. I replied \"I'm sure that's not very much.\" She just stares at me in the eye and she starts shouting about how disrespectful that was.\n\nI was extremely embarrassed, I have rarely ever disrespected a teacher my whole life. I quickly apologized and went back to my seat but she kept complaining about how disrespectful that is. I may screwed up my good reputation among teachers a week before school ends.", "summary": "Asked teacher for help during her free period. Jokingly asked me to pay her her salary. Made fun of how much she makes. Regret."} {"id": "t3_3l6nao", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my professor [50'sF] graduate school, she's a complete bitch", "post": "I'm an American doing a masters degree in Wales. When I say she's my professor, I mean she's the co-ordinator for my masters degree in my specific field. \n\nShe is very unprofessional. She has singled me out several times in class for things that everyone else does. She failed me on an assignment that was worth 100% of a class. When I appealed the score she gave me, I went from a D to a B, after two other professors agreed that the D she gave me was not worthy.\n\nFast forward to now, I'm doing my dissertation. It's due in two weeks and I asked her a question about formatting due to the answer not being in our program's handbook. She flat out told me that the answer was not in the handbook, but it was common sense. Before asking her I asked other peers and supervisors, but my personal supervisor is on vacation until 3 days before my paper is due. \n\nThis is not the first time she has been unprofessional and rude. I have tried to meet with the head of the department on several occasions, but it's a joke. Overall this university has been complete shit when it comes to dealing with students. I'm at a loss as to what I can do about this unruly professor treating people like shit. Although she targets me, there is one other student from a previous semester that she treated similarly, but he never did anything about it.", "summary": "my professor and co-ordinator is unprofessional and crass every chance she gets, singles me out and makes me feel like shit. University department head doesn't care. What do I do ?"} {"id": "t3_c1myw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what's the most ridiculously false accusation your parents have made against you?", "post": "This isn't my story, but I heard it firsthand from a friend today.\nFriend (Let's call him Tom) basically has 1st generation insane Chinese parents.\n\nAnyways, Tom comes home one day to find his parents in the living room royally pissed at him and is confused.\n\nTom: \"Umm...is something wrong?\"\n\nParents: \"TOM! WE KNOW YOU ARE ON DRUGS! AND YOU ARE IN DEEP SHIT\"\n\n\"Sorry..wtf are you talking about??? I'm not on drugs!\"\n\n\"We found evidence in your room that you are on drugs.\"\n\n\"Umm...I'm not on drugs...what evidence are you talking about?\"\n\n\"It's not important. You know what evidence we found. We know you are doing drugs.\"\n\n\"No seriously, WHAT EVIDENCE? Because I am definitely not doing drugs.\"\n\n\"Fine. What do you have to say to this??\"\n\n*Thrusts something into Tom's hand*\n*Tom examines object for a second*\n\n\"....Mom...this is a fucking acorn.\"\n\n\"So you ARE on Drugs!\"\n\n\"No....this is an ACORN. It grows on oak trees. It's just a fucking nut!\"\n\n\"Oh...umm...okay I guess\"", "summary": "Immigrant parents failed to recognize an acorn. Thought it was some kind of drug and accused my friend with it..."} {"id": "t3_4vnv7d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why would my (19F) boyfriend (21M) like a girl's revealing selfie and try to hide it from me?", "post": "My boyfriend has recently started using Instagram again and there was a girl who very regularly used to like a lot of his selfies until we were in a relationship (We've been together for almost two years) and didn't like any of his pictures again until the other day when he posted a picture of himself doing a sport he likes. \n\nHe was scrolling through his Instagram feed and I happened to look over as he went past a picture he had liked, it was the one of this girl wearing a very revealing top. He carried on scrolling past very quickly and I asked who it was, not in an accusatory way, just in a normal tone of voice and he very quickly said it was a girl he knew from school and immediately changed the subject. I'm sure it's nothing but if it was, why would he try so hard to hide it from me?", "summary": "He liked a girl's revealing photo, he hadn't liked her posts for a while and she used to like his all the time, he changed the subject as fast as he could."} {"id": "t3_28yhy4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29M] with my GF [25F] for 4 years, Long Distance relationship-seems to long distant", "post": "Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.\n\nI'm sorry for making it long\nNow, I've been talking to a girl who lives completely in a different parts of the world, we both belong to two different cultures and have completely different life styles, we first met in a chat room and then became friends on facebook, at first we were just talking \u2013 like normally no commitments, no strings attached \u2013 just friends kinda thing, but as time went on we started talking more but then shit happened and we stopped talking. But on a random day I got a txt msg from her saying she sorry and so wrong to let you go and all that \u2013 she sent me a mail or like indicating she got feelings for me and we talked more and more till the moment we made commitments to meet and be together, its been like 4 years or so but as more we talked I get to realize how far fetched the idea of meeting was I tried to tell abt my concern and that its just seems impossible given tht she'll be go abroad to Kuwait and work somewhere for two years and then return to her native country but it always ended up emotionally and more promises\u2026 I feel tht its just wrong to let go after all tht and its not the right thing to do but when thinking abt it practically its just too long to wait..?? What should I do?", "summary": "Long distance relationship, GF going out to Kuwait work for two years and after tht says we'll meet - cant afford to go Kuwait, emotional attachment - Should I let go? What should I do"} {"id": "t3_3dnlrg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I[15M] being immature or is my dad [54M] Holding on too tight?", "post": "So first off let me explain that I am an introvert. Throughout my life I have always had a small group of friends but are good friends. I also spend **a lot** of time on the computer. More than I should but it is how I get enjoyment. I am also my dads only son (take that as you will). I am also the youngest child in my family.\n\nRecently he has been getting frustrated with me being on the computer too much and not doing anything with him (parents got divorced a year ago) when i'm with him. So I have realized this and have been trying to do more things with him whenever he wants to. \n\nDuring the summer I been staying up very late playing and talking with friends on the computer (2am-4am) which I didnt think he had a problem with since it was the summer and he never said anything about it. But then when night a couple days ago I ended up staying up until he woke up for work and he wasn't happy..at all. So now he is making me go to sleep around midnight and is thinking about making restrictions for my computer time completely.", "summary": "Dad not letting me stay up very late in the summer. Not sure if he is holding on too much or if i'm just being immature."} {"id": "t3_2diwzo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (23m) have never had a relationship and I am terrified and I have no idea what to do should that day come", "post": "So.. this may not be the usual post here and I am not even sure if this is the right place since I am not even in a relationship and never have been, but that is kind of the point.\n\nSee, I am 23 years old now, I am a guy. I have been severely bullied throughout my childhood and teens, to the point where I never even ever had the chance to come close to something like a relationship with anyone at all. Well there was that one time that a girl kissed me, once and I am relatively sure that was out of pity after hearing that I had never even kissed anyone before.\n\nLately I have found myself feeling more lonely than usual and I have been thinking about the what-if's.\n\nI don't have any sort of experience on how to even have a relationship. None. Zip. Nada. Even if by some act of god I would find someone that I like that likes me back and stuff happens. Then... what? Maybe the problem is that I don't even know what to expect out of a relationship anymore, all that I do know is that I feel the primal urge for... that someone special, but I don't even know anymore.\n\nI have a hard time even putting my problem into words or even what I expect any of you to answer me. It's not like this is something you can read a handbook or manual or \"Relationships 101 for Dummies\" on. This is something that I should have learned naturally in my formative years but through circumstances out of my control that never happened.\n\nHow would I even go about explaining this to a hypothetical, prospective someone... that I know about as much about relationships as a newborn. That I have less experience in those kinds of things than most 12-year-olds.\n\nAt this point I just feel so terrified of it, that I am honestly considering that I should just come to terms with the fact that I will probably be single all my life and forget about it, find something else to fill the figurative void in my figurative heart.\n\nI guess the", "summary": "is: What IS a relationship? What do people do in a relationship? What should I expect out of such a thing? Do I even need to worry about it?"} {"id": "t3_2zuv33", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20/m] am having texting troubles with girlfriend of three months [20/f]", "post": "So I've been dating this girl for three months now. By nature she is very shy, but very sweet in person. However, I've noticed lately that as far as texting goes I'm kind of getting my feelings hurt and I just kind of wanted to run a few things by Reddit to see what they thought. We haven't had any sort of disagreements at this state in the relationship so this would definitely be a hard bubble to break into as I am also pretty shy, and am sometimes a bit of a pushover. \n\nBasically, here are a few examples:\n\nI texted her a few hours before she left for a car trip home. Her drive isn't long, (about an hour) but I just told her to be safe and that I hope she had a good trip. She didn't respond until late that night, which I can generally understand. I don't expect people to live by their phones, but it does start hurting a little when your girlfriend hasn't really thought of you to text except once throughout the whole day.\n\nThis is a fairly frequent occurence, so I try to reason that it's just her way. However, she'll usually then send a text the next day apologizing how she never responded but that she hopes I had a great day and usually a couple really sweet things too. Then she doesn't respond to my reply... until the next day with a similar response. The one thing that is giving me a hang up, however, is that she likes to tweet. She'll tweet, but not respond to my text. So she's on her phone, but then doesn't feel the need to respond to me.\n\nAm I being unreasonable for having my feelings hurt? I really like her and don't want to get upset over something so small, but it really is hurting my feelings that I go out of my way to just send a cute message every once in awhile and she doesn't feel the need to respond until the next day.", "summary": "Girlfriend takes a day usually to respond to my texts, but tweets frequently. Am I wrong for having my feelings hurt by this?"} {"id": "t3_1vyzoe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my GF [18 F] of 2 1/2 years: Would it be seen as weird if I had a polyamory relationship?", "post": "Me and my girlfriend decided to establish basic rules in our relationship, so neither could whine when a breakup occurred if a rule was broken. We signed a symbolic contract. It sounds childish, but it's actually working.\n\nMy girlfriend understands that I have sexual attraction to other people. It's my fantasy to participate in threesomes and orgies. I haven't done it yet though because she doesn't agree with it at the moment. She would become jealous. But she acknowledges that she could change her mind in the future and we could bring other people in.\n\nA polyamory relationship is one where there is an emotional relationship between more than two people of any gender.\n\nHow are these kind of relationships viewed today? If I was in one and allowed it to be public, would people look at me in disgust? Would it ruin my chances with anyone else?", "summary": "GF acknowledges possibility our relationship containing more people in the future, sexually and intimately. If this relationship were public, would people think I'm weird or disgusting? Would people hate me? Envy me?"} {"id": "t3_3ga1t0", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Dating advice for a wounded airman that has never dated", "post": "Howdy everybody! \n\nI'm not too good at prefacing stuff like this so I'll just jump right into it. \n\nSo, I'm a 22 year old guy in the Air Force and I have never asked a girl out before... Kind of strange, I know. But even in high school, I was busy training and working out, so I never really got into the dating game. \n\nUnfortunately, I was injured during my last time abroad. As a result, I've gained quite a few new scars on my body. Only one on my head, on my forehead. Other than that, they're all on my upper body. \nSo, I've decided to start going out and hopefully dating since I have at least a year to recover. \n\nHowever, while I was in the hospital, I gained about 50 pounds. Now that I'm out, I'm not allowed to work out since it may exacerbate my injuries. I do take a light walk everyday. I do have to eat a high calorie diet, so it's doubtful I will be able to lose much weight for at least 6 months. \nI've always been a really big guy, but right now I'm 6'4\" with 24 inch shoulders and weighing in at a massive 300 pounds. \n\nNow that I've gone through background stuff, I can hop into my questions. I'm not sure how to approach women or even how to start a conversation with them. Also, where is it acceptable and unacceptable to approach someone? And, how do I make sure a woman is is comfortable when I approach, and to keep from appearing dangerous or creepy?\n\nI've tried online dating without much luck, as well. I think I may have the same issue with conversations and first messages/approaching. \n\nI'm sure this has been posted before, so I apologize for making a new post. I felt like my background may be slightly unique. Sorry for the wall of text, as well. \n\nI really appreciate any insights and advice y'all can give me! Thanks for reading!", "summary": "wounded warrior. Never asked a girl out. How do I approach? How do I start a conversation? Where is it acceptable and unacceptable to approach? How do keep myself from appearing as a threat?"} {"id": "t3_4t9rnz", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "[Debt]11K in Credit Card Debt, Need Some Advice", "post": "Hello Personal Finance! \n\nSo here's my situation. I'm 24 years old and newly married. My wife and I combined income is about 3K with no OT (I'm a police officer so OT is given out pretty frequently). We pay $1150 in rent each month. I have a car that I pay $380 a month on and have 10.5K left on it. Now here's the problem. We can manage rent, the car, utilities, and other bills. Unfortunately we have a nice amount of credit card debt. It's just above 11K across 6 different cards. The highest apr we are paying is 21%. That card has $1.2k on it. We are trying our best to make all the payments each month and on time and so far we have but barley. My credit score is 723 and I would love to keep it there. I'm just looking on advice as to what to do with this. I was considering taking a personal loan of about 12K and paying it off over 36 months. It seems if I can get a decent interest rate I would probably be paying somewhere around $380 a month? Would this be the best option? \n\nThank you so much!!", "summary": "11K in Credit card debt across 6 cards. Considering taking a personal loan to consolidate all the debt. Is this the best move or should I do something else?"} {"id": "t3_3ngmlk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [17m] girlfriend [18f] of two years is gender-queer (agender) and I feel like I am incapable of understanding it.", "post": "She came out as agender about three months ago, and I honestly wasn't that surprised. She wasn't the most feminine of ladies in the first place, and I am not in any disgusted or freaked out at the thought. I loved her, I still do, and it does not affect my feelings toward her at all.\n\nHowever, I feel somewhat guilty for dating her now. I am a horribly, horribly straight and gender fixed person and it seems like my brain cannot really grasp the concept of \"in between\"- I understand what it means, but whenever I think about it I just end up in an endless loop of \"Dude, she's a girl\".\n\nIt seems to me that anyone deserves to have as an SO someone who understands them and treats them as who they are, and I am scared that I am not going to be able to stop thinking about her as a girl. She says its ok, and that she understands and she doesn't mind me thinking of her that way, but feel guilty nontheless. \n\nI feel like as her boyfriend, I should think of her as who she wants to be and who she feels she is, but I really don't know how to make myself accept the concept because it is so alien. And because of that I keep feeling bad about it. It is simply unfair towards her.\n\nAny help would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "girlfriend is agender, I feel bad for being unable to think of her as not a girl. Don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_2ygs7q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (22F) ex (23M) messaged me after 6 months of no contact. Is it dumb if I were to message back? Advice/opinions would be appreciated!", "post": "After my ex and I started NC, I really took the time and dedicated it to improving myself. In that regard, I did pretty well. I've confronted (and conquered!) some personal fears and baggage, picked up new hobbies that I love, met new people and created amazing friendships. I'm happy, and I know that I have a bright future ahead of me.\n\nWhen my ex messaged me yesterday telling me he wants to talk to me and misses me, I realized I didn't really feel anything towards it. I didn't feel like I 'won' or had power over him. I'm honestly just exasperated. I think he only misses me because he's lonely. He spent the past 6 months drinking, partying, and hooking up with a ton of girls. And he probably feels guilty about how we last ended things. Basically I don't think he's trying to initiate a conversation with me for the right reasons. \n\nI want to talk to him because I kind of pity him. I feel sorry that he's not in a great place right now, and I want to help him. On some level, I do miss him, just not romantically. I miss talking to him as a friend. But at the same time, I don't want to risk getting hurt again. I have ZERO desire to get back together with him. I know I can do better than how he was treating me. And he has a lot of personal shit to work out before he's ready for a relationship anyway. I guess I'm just afraid the old feelings I had for him might somehow creep up again. \n\nShould I stick with NC? Or should I respond to him?", "summary": "Ex contacted me, I'm not interested in getting back together with him but I do want to talk to him because I miss him as a friend. Is it worth the risk?"} {"id": "t3_344r5h", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Interview follow up advice", "post": "Hi guys, this is my first post so be nice please.\n\nApplied for a job (my dream job) in a competitors car dealership as the Service Manager (same as my current role but for a better manufacturer). I got called in for an interview with the dealership principal a few days later. The interview went well and he said that he'd get back to me in a few days. A week later he called me in for another interview with the other manager I'll be working alongside to see if we'd get along (we did). He thanked me and said I'll get back to you before Thursday night. It's now Tuesday afrternoon and I haven't heard. There has been a lot going on at the dealership including a funeral. How long do I wait to call?", "summary": "waiting to hear back about if I was succesful in a job interview, how long do I wait before I call?"} {"id": "t3_31is9l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me a [18m] first year university sudent fell for another [18f] 2 months everything has been going well except she moved away, to study a different degree.", "post": "Like the title says we went to uni together, we stayed at the same college. We got to know each other quite well. We became very good friends and the relationship started escalliting quite quickly. We had a few fights while we were together at college, nothing to big. \n\nWe were both looking to study dentistry in the future, little did we know we both received different late offers from different universities. \n\nI decided I wanted to stay in my current course to experience it and confirm what I want to do in the future and expeience college life as I would be moving back with my parents. \n\nShe decided to take it, and moved of out. She is enjoying her course, we talk daily via Skype to try keep the relationship going. We've made plans to travel to one another when it's convenient for both of us so we can meet. I want to try make it into the same uni she is in just so we can be together. \n\nI would say I am fairly good looking as I have been chased after quite often by the other gender. I have had quite a few flings through out my life and early days of uni. \n\nI have been out to the club's and tried picking up girls to get my mind off her. I have been successful but I don't feel satisfied so before we got anywhere serious I kicked her out. I'm not sure if this is because of how much I liked this pervious girl and I miss her, or its my regret of not doing what I truly want. \n\nI like to think it is the first, I told her about it. She has been the first and last thing on my mind since the first day I met her. Talking over Skype she keeps dropping hints that she wants a long distance relationship. I want this to work out for us, even if it means me moving half way across the country to be with her.", "summary": "we met at college, she moved away to study dentistry. She wants a long distance relationship, I want to move to be with her next year."} {"id": "t3_2hoxky", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] and my girlfriend [23 F] of 1 month, decided to try build a relationship on honesty. But I can't tell if she's not or I'm just being paranoid.", "post": "Some back story.\n\nAbout a year ago I went on a couple of dates with my now girlfriend. I didn't want anything serious, at the time, so I kind of allowed it to fizzle out.\n\nSo she was a little pissed with me for leading her on, which is perfectly understandable. This summer we bumped into each other after some fairly major events had happened in my life, and I sincerely apologized to her, to which she told me that was all she needed to hear. So went on a couple dates again and I asked her to go out with me. To which she agreed! Hurrah!\n\nIn doing this we agreed that there was to be no more half-measures and beating around the bush type things and that we needed to be honest with each other completely. \n\nSo I told her about the major life events that had happened me and some things from my past etc. etc. and it was all a big emotional conversation. \n\nSo we've been going out for just over a month now and we had a big talk about sex. What we like, don't like, what we want all the basics. \n\nAnd it eventually came around to the topic of what our \"Number\" was. She asked me mine and I told her and then I asked her what hers was, to which she replied; \"I can't remember\". Which shocked me a little.\n\nNow, in my mind, she either has genuinely had had so much drunken sex she can't remember. Or she just doesn't want to tell me because it's potentially very high and she's embarrassed perhaps. \n\nAnd the thing is I don't care either way, because we have been honest with each other up to this point. I am very happy. But it's more that she doesn't have a reason. She just can't remember. \n\nSo what are people's opinions? Am I being paranoid or is there a potential cause for a lie? Thanks!", "summary": "Relationship based on honesty. GF is, potentially, not being honest about number of sexual partners. Not that I care about the number. I just care that she's not being honest. It hurts a little :("} {"id": "t3_4u6h4e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "16M needing advice for talking to someone", "post": "Hey guys, hope everyone is doing well. So I need a little bit of advice. There is a girl who I used to go to school with when I was in Elementary School, while this was indeed a while ago, we were pretty good friends. Anyways, I've started taking a notice to her.\n\nI haven't spoken to her in a long time, but despite this, she likes my Instagram posts and IMHO, that could mean something. I live in a small town, but it isn't small enough that you know absolutely everyone.\n\nSo basically the only way I still know of her is because she likes my Instagram photos, it isn't much but for the state of our relationship rn, it certainly raises my eyebrow. So, what would be the best way and least awkward way to start talking to her, only way I could talk to her is 1. I see her in real life and have one of those \"Oh hey long time no see\" talks or 2. DM her on IG or finally 3. Message her on Facebook (She rarely uses it) She is really pretty and I think I am sorta wanting to talk to her again. Thanks everyone.", "summary": "I need help talking to a girl who I knew in elementary school. She has liked basically every picture I have posted on Instagram it has raised suspicion, how do I start talking to her?"} {"id": "t3_2r1vcn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [23/F] be more supportive to him [23/M] or are my drunk instincts right? 1yr+ together", "post": "Okay so I've [23/F] been going out with this guy [23/M] for just over a year, things have generally been good but its always been apparent that he likes me a bit more than I like him. \n\nWe get on really well and he always makes me smile but lately he's been going through a hard time and although I have tried (and i believe generally succeeded in) being supportive I find it really hard to do, hes changed, become a lot more vulnerable and dependent and a bit more cynical (or maybe i just didn't notice the cynicism before?). \n\nI find myself missing the single life and our relationship (at least on my side) become more and more just about being sexual than the connection we used to have. \n\nI tried ending things recently (a bit spur of the moment after too many drinks) but once sober we talked a lot and decided to stay together as I do have a lot of feelings for him still and would miss him a lot.\n\nA lot of little things have also started bugging me when I know they shouldn't.\nI have generally quit in relationships in the past when things got hard and have been trying not to do this as again. \n\nHe is quite insecure at the moment and feels like he doesn't deserve me so i find it hard to discuss things at times, though I think hes noticed I'm pulling away from him. My question is should I just stop being selfish and try to be more supportive? Or was I right to try and end things?", "summary": "Boyfriend is going through tough times and as a result has changed. I don't know if I feel the same way about him now, should I stick with him or move on?"} {"id": "t3_4savdi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my wife [23 F] of 5 years, she sent pics", "post": "So she sent nude pics to a friend of hers that she has a history with that always tries to sexualize things. To my knowledge she never as done anything like this before though and has been honest about his advances. \n\nShe told me what happened and is claiming she doesn't even really remember it. She does have black outs and deals with a lot of mental problems. But she was honest, told me that he claimed she did it, and when she got evidence she was honest with me.\n\nWe have been through A LOT and I have always been very forgiving. I've had stuff thrown at me, I've been belittled, and in some sense now betrayed. Usually I let things go pretty fast because I knew she had issues going into this marriage...but this one has me so f-ing mad. I've blown up on her a few times since she told me and I'm being snappy at work. \n\nI want things to work because we have kids. I don't have the means to put them into daycare either. And oh yeah...regardless of everything I love her unconditionally....but when is enough enough? \n\nI don't know what to do. I love her and don't want her to leave. If I do ask her to leave she has no where to go but her Dad's which is the definition of a shit hole. I'm worried too if I do end things she is at a risk to kill herself or at least sink to a point where it isn't good to have her around the kids. She has worked so hard to be a good person despite having such a rough childhood. She is willing to work on things, and said she'll live with any consequences. \n\nUgh wtf Reddit. What should I do?", "summary": "Seriously? Ok my wife sent nudes to another dude and now I don't know how to not have my world implode."} {"id": "t3_1affr2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "If being gay is not a \"choice\" how can this be proved?", "post": "I have been on reddit for a while but just thought of this now (probably helps that I am high), but from my findings most gay people are atheist. Atheist hold science up on a pedestal and believe the findings to be true and use it to answer most of the questions they may have regarding our Earth. But answer me this: Most gay people will state that being gay is not a \"choice\", but rather they are born that way. Why not have science prove this. If science can explain how the universe came into existence and that it was not just magical spawning of floating rocks by a big dude in the sky who looks like santa clause in a toga why can't it explain why men are attracted to men and women are attracted to women? \n\nUnlike diseases and virus' with very small occurances that may be hard to explain or there is no explaination, with being a homosexual there is more than just a handful of cases out there.", "summary": "Can science finally prove that being gay is not a \"choice\", but rather an actually deformity within the brain of said homosexual person."} {"id": "t3_tre4s", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Am I being shallow Reddit? How should I proceed?", "post": "A few months ago I met this amazing girl who is probably the coolest person I know, we have a painful amount of things in common and she has one of the greatest personalities I've ever come across!\n\nSo this girl has a great personality, an amazing sense of humor, an extremely cute face, and a huge passion for what she does. \n\nAs much as I want to be in a relationship with her I can't shake this feeling... She is really underweight (not anorexic, I've seen her eat, she just has a stupidly fast metabolism) and as a result she is really lacking in the breasts department. I just have the worst feeling that her body might not do it for me sexually, which would end badly.\n\nWe've gone on dates and done the kissing and such and I really feel like loo bought be leading her on. \n\nSo what's the verdict Reddit? Am I to shallow? Should loo go for it? forget about it? Give me your\nopinions!", "summary": "merry a great girl whom is really like to go out with however she is slightly lacking in the tits department and I'm worried she won't do it for me sexually, what say the?"} {"id": "t3_3d5853", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not interpreting hints from a girl", "post": "So this happened a few years back but I just remembered it and just recently started using Reddit.\n\nBack during uni, I was in class with a pretty cute girl and we decided to team up for a school project. She was always trying to make physical contact with me and close to the end of the project she invited me to her house to complete the project. \n\nWe started working on the project and just chatting when she randomly pulls out a picture of a girl giving a blowjob on her laptop. She asks me if that looks like her. I said not really and continued to work on the project. Few weeks later after the class had ended, I realized my fk up. She was trying to get with me and that's why she would invite me to her house, try to touch me, etc. Only problem is I am quite possibly the biggest idiot in the world when it comes to reading/understanding women.", "summary": "girl wanted to be with me and couldn't say it bluntly and I never picked up her cues because I am thickheaded."} {"id": "t3_11t57o", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Depressed girlfriend is unstable, I don't want to continue with the relationship but I think i'm hurting her, help?", "post": "I am 26/m she is 26 we've been together for 3 weeks and we dated for like 4 months, met each other a couple of years ago. \n\nBefore we started dating seriously she told me she was taking an antipsychotic medication and an antidepressant for the treatment of guess what?... Depression! We've having a good time but I've been losing interest because her mood is increasingly bad and negative, I know it's due to depression but I don't want to be with her anymore, I'd like to keep being there for her, to support her but I don't want to keep going with this relationship.\n\nYesterday she got mad at me because she wanted me to pick her up from work and I refused because I was tired. Today she broke up with the through whatsapp (she completely overreacted), but I was kinda happy about it and tried to have a good day smoking weed and playing videogames but after a couple of hourse she texted me saying she regretted breaking up.\n\nShe tried to talk to me but I didn't answered any phone calls or text messages until she mentioned through one of them that she wasn't \"feeling ok\" so I called her immediately and she became very obsessive. For the last 2 hours I've been trying to persuade her from coming to my house but it's turning into a bad argument, she is saying \"I'm not gonna hurt you\", I don't know what to do, I think I've handled this quite bad and I want to do something about because it's my responsibility but I don't know exactly what I should do. Help!", "summary": "Gf diagnosed with depression broke up with me, regrets it and wants to see me, I don't want to, she is being QUITE obsessive, I want to help her but don't know how."} {"id": "t3_2eprhc", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Tired, old question. Looking for similar stories with success. Cat scratching the heck out of carpets. Seems behavioral. Also, he's a cyborg", "post": "Hi all!\n\nSo My SO and I have a 9 (ish) yo neutered male cat. We got him from the pound and he is very mellow and friendly and quite nice.\n\nQueue the music! He has been scratching our carpet since we adopted him. Originally, we bought several types of scratching posts which he wouldn't use. Nothing. NOTHING!! Out of the blue, we bring my families cat's post (cat deceased for many years, post is all carpet, I know, not good to stop carpet scratching) over and he loves it. Won't quit, sleeps on it, loves it.\n\nSo, overnight, he goes from hating scratching posts to liking one. Don't get me wrong, he hates other scratching posts still. BUT, He will still scratch on our carpets if : A)if it's within a few hours of his feeding times. B)He's very \"needy\" and we aren't able to devote all of our time to him C)Fucking Randomly!?!?!\n\nIt's weird. Seems like he is trying to tell us something or demand something? I know this is a common issue which is why I'm asking if anyone has had something similar and had success with modifying the behavior", "summary": "9yoM feline, scratches carpet, finally found a (carpet) scratching post he likes, continues to scratch carpet for what seems like behavioral issues."} {"id": "t3_322571", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] and my roommate's [21F] boyfriend [21M] of 7 months are falling for each other.", "post": "So I live with one of my good friends in an apartment, and a couple months ago her boyfriend moved in with us temporarily as he just finished school and is looking for a permanent place. I had been friends with him before the two of them started dating, but hadn't really thought of him in a romantic way before. \n\nAnyway, the two of them fight constantly, and since I'm the only other person around, for the most part, both of them come talk to me when they're upset with the other. However, over the past month or so, her boyfriend and I have been spending a lot more time together and we've been getting along really well and he keeps hinting at things (like talking about how much he wants to cuddle with someone, or telling me how nice I look) or things like that when we're together. And both of us seem to \"accidentally\" brush up against one another or sit extra close, and the other day we were lying in his bed together and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. \n\nI really like him, and he's acting like he really likes me, but he's also making sure to not explicitly cross any lines and doesn't seem to want to give up on his relationship, either. But the two of them seem terrible for each other and the two of us get along incredibly well. But on top of everything, we still all live together for the time being, and even though he'll be gone in a couple months, I'll still be living with her for a while. Not sure how to proceed.", "summary": "Roommate's boyfriend and I get along better than roommate and boyfriend do, but we all live together. Sitcoms haven't prepared me well enough for this."} {"id": "t3_29vjee", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] and my [17 F] 13 months together broken up for 2 months now, finding it hard to cope No contact...", "post": "Well Basically I broke up with my ex in early march, 2014 for reasons I can't even describe I felt very confused as to what I wanted. And then got back together with her because it didn't feel right being apart. It lasted about a month until she told me she was going vegan and then I basically turned into an ass and criticized her idea of wanting to go vegan. She broke up with me 2 days after the fight and said \"It has nothing to do with you, i'm just not happy in a relationship anymore and I want to focus on other things\". This broke my heart because I felt like I ruined everything, we rarely ever fought and I feel like this one fight combined with me breaking up with her first is the real reason for her leaving.. I begged and begged for her to come back and that we can work things out but she insisted there is nothing to fix because she doesn't want a boyfriend right now, I begged to the point that she finally broke and said \"we'll never be friends and definitely won't date ever again\"... Since then I've been no contact for a little over a month now and avoid all her social media like the plague. I'm wondering if I should keep being strong and learn to forgive myself for what I said or break no contact and see how it goes.. This is really hard and I dream about her every night and I feel like my heart is torn apart, I don't know what to do or how to move on from other than staying no contact, I feel really lonely without her.. So the question is should I remain no contact and keep healing or should I break no contact and try and get her back again... please help", "summary": "I think I made my girlfriend break up with me so I went no contact and i'm wondering if I should stay no contact or try again at getting her back!?"} {"id": "t3_20hcpa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M/F] problem with my roommates... need outsider perspective", "post": "I live in a house with 4 other girls on the east coast. I'm from California, so this is my first real winter. The girls were shocked when our first heat bill came out to $260, which is quite average, and have since then been trying to conserve our heat use. We turn it down when we leave the house, which is fine. \n\nThe problem is, sometimes at night it's 20 degrees out, and it's colder than usual. My room is twice as big as the other girls' (and yes I pay much more for it). I want to turn the heat up a few degrees higher so I can study in my room, be comfortable, and get a good nights sleep, and then turn it back down once I wake up. I even have a space heater in my room, but it doesn't work very well. My perspective is, I know it costs money, but I have a right to be comfortable in my own home, which I pay quite a bit of money to live in. I know one of the other girls feels the same way. \n\nIf they want me to pay extra for the heat bill, that's fine, but if we're going to be assholes to each other and pinch pennies, then I frankly don't feel like paying an extra $17 or so dollars per month so that others can watch TV (I do not ever watch it and would never pay for this service on my own). TV in my opinion is a luxury, not a necessity, whereas heat is not. \n\nWhat should I do reddit? Am I being unreasonable? I'm sorry my room is bigger, but I want to be comfortable in my house and it's fucking freezing.", "summary": "Roommates don't want to turn up the heat, I occasionally do, they make a big deal out of it, so I don't want to pay the TV bill."} {"id": "t3_53ctsc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (20 F) am trying to avoid being the rebound for a guy I like (20 M).", "post": "So let me give me some backstory on the past year of my love life before I can explain the rebound part. Anyways, in the spring of 2015 I met Andy (21 M at the time) at a college party when I was a freshman and he was a junior. He was from a neighboring and rival university about an hour and a half away. It was love at first sight for me. That night sparked an 8 month long relationship. In short, that relationship was toxic because it was semi-long distance and it affected my emotional stability and my confidence. I had to break up with him in December of 2015. Ever since then I've been having a lot of fun being on my own and dating different people. \n\nFast forward to today: I am now at the point where I'm wanting a committed and serious relationship again. I feel ready to take on the responsibility and I'm stable enough in academics, finances, and emotional health to provide love and support to a special guy. One of my guy friends, let's call him Jake (20 M) who I've always had a crush towards became single about 3 weeks ago. It was a terrible breakup and the relationship lasted for 3 years, they were high school sweethearts and she was insanely immature and 2 years younger than him. Jake suffers from mental heath issues such as depression and anxiety and has been actively treating the issues. But the breakup has been tough on him because the mental health issues enhanced the emotions and he's taking it hard. We've been hanging out more and have gotten a bit flirty. I made it clear that I do not want to be his rebound and he understood but it doesn't stop me from being attracted to him. It's starting to feel like torture. He's been very open about his emotions with the breakup, his mental health, and he is handling his emotions well and getting himself ready to move on. \n\nMy friends say \"Go for it. We're juniors in college. Nobody cares.\" But, my mind is saying \"Be patient and don't interrupt his emotional process. You'll end up being the rebound and his emotional crutch.\" \n\nHow do I avoid being the rebound? \n\nI'm quite torn.", "summary": "I'm ready for a serious relationship after being in a toxic relationship and dating different people. My crush is going through a breakup but is showing interest towards me. I'm torn between pursuing him or just wait it out."} {"id": "t3_29ts6y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "This may seem small compared to a lot of stuff posted here, but it's my exs (F19) birthday tomorrow and she has a new boyfriend already. This was also the day that we first said \"I love you\" can anyone help me (M20) with some tips to get thought the day.", "post": "This weekend is her birthday and I know from mutual friends she's having a party or whatever. I also know she has a new boyfriend. This is the day when we first said I love Yous so it's hard enough as it is. But she also has a new boyfriend, so I can't help feeling horrible. So I'm going to be depressed all day while she's going to have fun with a new lad.\n\nI'm obviously not going to contact her, and make sure there is no way wel run into each other. But it's still going to be horrible knowing that what could have been a day of love between us, is instead her with her new boyfriend. It hasn't been long since we broke up, and an even shorter time between me actually realising the relationship is finished. \n\nCan anyone give me some tips or something to help me get through the day without completely being miserable.", "summary": "Exs bday is tomorrow, holds a lot of meaning to me, and I just want someone to help me not be miserable for the day knowing she's with someone else. Thanks"} {"id": "t3_3p15x6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by going to the washroom.", "post": "So one day I was really sick. Like delirious sick, didn't know what the heck I was doing, have to go home from work kind of sick. But I was pathetic and needed someone to take care of me so I went over to my then boyfriends house, who wasn't home yet but was getting home from work in a few hours and his roommate was at work too. So no biggie, I would sleep until he got home. But before my nap, I really had to take a dump... So no problem, I went to the washroom, then had a nap and he took care of me for the rest of the day cause I couldn't function as a normal human being. \nToo bad later on that week him and his roommate are talking and arguing (I can't remember the conversation) but I remember her saying \"at least I remember to flush the toilet after I take a shit!\" And he just goes back, \"that wasn't me, it was you!\" And the whole time I'm sitting there like, fuck. That might have been me. After all, I was so out if it I wouldn't have been able to tell you my name, I probably didn't remember to flush the toilet....\nAnd now every time I go to the washroom, I get mad anxiety that I forgot to flush and I have to go back to check half the time, even though there was no proof it actually was me.", "summary": "deliriously sick, took a dump at boyfriend's, roommate called him out on not flushing when it was actually me and have had anxiety about it ever since."} {"id": "t3_h44hc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm not sure if I want to study engineering, any guidance? (Since my guidance counselor is next to useless)", "post": "I am going to college next year:\n\nEver since I was a little kid I have been playing with legos, building stupid things, and most recently built a computer. (I know none of these things qualify me as an engineer.) My physics teacher says I would make a great engineer, and my parents have been encouraging me for the past 4 years to become one. For some reason I resist them at every turn, probably because I am a teenager and I don't want to listen to my parents. \n\nI have two reservations though: 1) I don't enjoy math even though I am good with it. But I am also scared of the rigor of engineering (I am not lazy though) 2) My first thought was to study econ because I want to go to law school. But quite frankly I have no clue what I want to do. I do have a long term goal of becoming a politician, but that is far down the line.", "summary": "I want to build shit, but I am nervous about rigor of engineering. And I have no clue really what I want to do."} {"id": "t3_2cus84", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] having trouble moving on from a [22 F] need advice", "post": "So..\n\nAbout a year ago to this day, I came out of a very short but emotionally abusive relationship with my ex. After I chose to leave her, I found out I was left with some very deep psychological scars from her (example: trust issues, horrible view on relationships)\n\nAbout 3 months after I met this amazing girl, we instantly became attracted to each other and we saw each other for about 3-4 months. During this time we hungout all the time, had sex, saw movies, concerts, she was cool as shit. But i knew i wasn't ready for a relationship and i told her that, to which she said she understood.\n\nBut..i still wasn't ready the longer we hungout and i started to get distant because of my trust issues. We still talked throughout the year, she wanted to be there for me but I felt sick at the thought of a relationship. I didn't know what I wanted at the time.\n\nThroughout the year till now, I have come to terms with my ex and most of my emotional scars she left behind. The girl I was seeing after my ex is now with a guy for at least 6 months, but he doesn't like us talking to each other cause of our past. I don't want to muddy the waters, so though a short text I tell her not to do anything she isn't okay with. So we don't really talk.\n\nBut I'm not okay with this, I'm feeling a rush of emotions. Regret that I wasn't ready, but now I am. sadness cause I cant be with her, anger cause I cant ever talk to her. I want her back, but shes happy with him. Shes been on my mind for an entire week so far, somedays are easier than others. but shes still on my mind.\n\nIn all honesty, I just dont know how to move on.", "summary": "Last relationship ended bad. Started seeing a new girl, wasn't ready at the time. Now iam, too much regret and anger that it took so long to heal. Now its too late, she has a boyfriend."} {"id": "t3_3d17bx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by Sleeping Through a Threesome (NSFW?)", "post": "Obligatory, happened a few weeks ago statement.\n\nSo a few weeks ago, an ex girlfriend of mine was in town for the weekend. We are pretty close friends still so we try to see each other whenever either one of us nearby. \n\nThis particular weekend we decided to hang out on a Saturday night. I had to work till about 10pm that night so I told her I would be able to hang out afterwards. I get home, get changed, text her, and no reply. \"No worries\" I thought, she's probably getting ready as well. Couple hours go by and I had given up on the thought that we would be seeing each other, so I proceed to put on some more comfortable clothes and play some vidya games. \n\nFlash forward to 1am, I'm laying in bed watching a movie and I get a text from her saying \"Where are you?\" to which I reply \"At home laying in bed. Where are you?\". \"I'm downtown but I'm going to leave soon.\" \n\nNow for the fuck up. Old Man Alatar falls asleep right after I read the last text. I sleep like a damn rock, nothing can wake me up, not even 4 text message tones of Captain Falcon yelling \"SHOW ME YOUR MOVES!\" or receiving 2 phone calls to the theme from \"Django\". \n\nI wake up the next morning to texts saying that her and her friend and going back to her house and I should come over. Also stating that she is \"really drunk and I guarantee that you will have a great time ;) \". I then rip my dick off and throw it into low orbit around the Earth and watch it burn up in reentry. \n\nTo add salt to the wound, I told my mother about the whole situation, and just like any good mother would, she laughed and said \"It's probably for the best Alatar. You probably would have just embarrassed yourself anyways\".", "summary": "Too old to stay awake past 1am, miss chance to have threesome with ex gf, get made fun of by my mother for it."} {"id": "t3_3058kn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [26] doesn't want LDR but I [20] don't want to end our relationship", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and we have a 6 year age difference. I moved acriss the country for school last fall and we talked about just remaining best friends but there wasn't a fine line between friend and bf/gf because we talked like we were still together. We saw each other during winter break and had a great time but that was when our cycle started. We acted like a couple and tried to stop talking and I tried to move on, but at the end it became too difficult because we both meant alot for each other. \n\nBy February, we tried to talk everything through and he said he really doesn't want LDR because his last gf screwed him over. i told him im not her and the least i deserved was a chance. he seemed to be going with that idea until a few days I went home for spring break, he dropped the bomb saying he couldnt do it. He cant handle being in a LDR because he doesnt feel in and thst hes always going through his quarter life crisis. \n\nHe doesnt want to settle down and potentially meet new people and that maybe we can meet again in four years. He also basically said \"youre perfect for me but it's not you, it's me. I cant do four yr LDR and i feel like my youth is escaping and maybe if u were closer, we would be together.\" We really are awesome together. We get along and we both have big aspirations. We lived together also the summer before I left so we know each other really well. I guess it is timing and situation but what can i do? I feel like i still deserve a chance and it could be great But he is unwilling. \n\nSo Reddit, what can I do? Should i wait for him? I honestly don't want to move on, because we are so good together and I think we might be able to work out in the future..\n\n**bold", "summary": "My boyfriend doesn't want to do long distance butI dont want to lose him and we are best friends and Imtrying to find a happy medium for both of us."} {"id": "t3_1dazk3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How does Copyright Infringement / Patents / Trademarks work? (x-post from /r/ELI5)", "post": "Hey AskReddit, I want to start a side small graphics company selling decals and logos of every ones favorite popular games without actually infringing / illegally taking proprietary / intellectual property from the companies that created / designed it.\n\nI see a lot of media / merchandise (Family Guy, South Park, Robot Chicken, YouTube Channels) that mock / cheap copy celebrities, name brands, movies, games, music and still make profit from their mock ups.\n\nI also see a lot of sites such as redbubble.com / jinx.com / splitreason.com that sell tons of merchandise for their own personal gain / profit...how do they get by any legalities without getting sued?\n\nI would like to do the following for example:\n\nA mock \"Insert Popular Game Title\" scene where a character (Looks nothing like the characters from the game, but somehow slightly resembles it) runs up to another character and knocks him out and yells \"Insert Witty Comment\" here.\n\n* Would I be able to take this design and sell it?\n* Or do I have to gain permission first from the company who has the rights?\n\nAny help from Lawyers, Business Professionals, or who has knowledge of this would be greatly appreciated.\n\nThanks in advance!", "summary": "Small company needing info on Copyright Infringement / Patents / Trademarks so that we don't get destroyed and sued by the **Copyright Infringement Ban Hammer**"} {"id": "t3_2g969s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [20/F] in an unhealthy relationship with him [20/M]?", "post": "I have been dating my current boyfriend since our Junior year of high school, but I can't seem to decide whether our relationship causes more happiness or harm in my life.\n\nAfter deciding to try to go to college together, my boyfriend was accepted to his top choice school early decision. Unfortunately, I was rejected from that school and entered into an emotional tailspin. I was completely devastated at the thought of not being with him-- thinking about my senior year still makes me cry. I felt abandoned, inadequate, and terrible about myself. I saw a psychologist twice a week my senior year, and entered into a college very far away from him feeling extremely depressed and anxious. \n\nOur first year away from each other was extremely rocky. We broke up and got together countless times, and both slept with other people. Whenever one of us would pull away, the other would come chasing after them. After much turmoil, we are now dating exclusively. \n\nI hated my college and he loved his, so I wanted to transfer to the woman's college associated with his school. He said he would love to have me there, but he was unwilling to promise that he wouldn't break up with me after I transferred. I am uncomfortable uprooting my life without some kind of verbal commitment.\n\nNow, I have dropped out of college and am starting on antidepressants and anxiety medicine. I wake up every morning unhappy that he is so far away. I love him like crazy.\n\nHe believes that he should finish college without me because he wants to be free to really dive into \"the college experience.\" He says that he wants to date exclusively and long-distance, and then he will come be with me as soon as he is finished with college. \n\nI am so unhappy, but only because I want to be with him so badly. What do I do? Shouldn't someone who loves me want to be with me? Why is a certain college more important? This is really impacting my self esteem.", "summary": "I am depressed partly because of my long-distance situation with my boyfriend. He says that we will be together in three years, but I don't know if it is healthy to wait."} {"id": "t3_524itv", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "How do I tell my dad I never want to move back in with him.", "post": "before I get started I want it to be known that I love my dad and don't have too many problems with him.\n\nHowever over the course of the last 4 years he's constantly been asking me to move back in with him. He keeps telling me about plans to get a place so that we can all live together again.\n\nI keep telling him that I do not want to move back in with my parents. That I have no desire to do so. That I'm comfortable living by myself and that I would be more comfortable visiting him on a regular basis. \n\nNo matter how many times I tell him this he still brings up the topic as though we never had the discussion before and ignores my past statements. \n\nThis most recent event with the death of his mother has sent him into further assumption that I want to move back in. I still have no desire. \n\nI personally believe that all of this talk is tied to his depression. I've tried to get him to go talk to a therapist but he says he is getting help and that not to worry. Every time I see him it's different drama going on around him and I don't think that the help he is getting is professional as its from a friend of his at church.\n\nAnyway", "summary": "My dad is depressed and constantly asks me to move in with him or assumes I want to move in with him despite me telling him no and expressing no desire to do so. what to do?"} {"id": "t3_33styw", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "So I have this friend...", "post": "20M and I have a friend, lets call her Kay. I met Kay junior year but out friendship really started to bloom senior year when we sat together for class. Since then we've maintained contact and meet up every so often whenever we both have time. Sometime spontaneous meet ups like two days ago, for example: \"Hey my 9:30 class is cancelled let's go get breakfast and go to comic book shop\". And we have fun. We have fun on the drive to, while we discuss topics varying in ridiculousness. We have fun at our destination goofing around, and we have fun when I take her back to her house. So far it's been \"as friends\" but damn, I think I've caught feelings, no I definitely have.\n\nShe's wonderful. She has ambition, intelligence, wit, overall she has a fantastic personality. I feel very comfortable with her and I know she feels comfortable around me. And I like her a lot, I really do. I just don't know if it's a good idea to talk to her and ask her if she's ever thought of going beyond just friends and actually went on dates. Not like full blown serious relationship from the start but like kind of testing the waters to see if it would work out.\n\nLately when we go somewhere she'll lean into my arm/shoulder while we wait in line she also uses her hands to touch a lot when we're out and about like she might do a soft push or nudge or when she laughs she'll put a hand on my shoulder. Maybe I'm ready signs that aren't there. Some advice would be useful.", "summary": "Caught feelings for a pretty good friend, not sure if it's good idea to introduce the idea of us dating."} {"id": "t3_42z4o4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23/f] with my bf [23/m] 2 years, he won't stop mentioning other girls?", "post": "I was hanging/studying on campus with my boyfriend yesterday between classes. All was well and everything's been really good between us for as long as I can remember. We were chatting a bit over lunch and he told me he had a 'problem'. That he can't help but check girls out and asked if I have any advice on how to stop that and not let his mind wander into sexual territory with them. I took it fine, I told him some things I did to help my own similar issues when I first started going to the gym regularly then left it at that. He always teases me about him being into other girls so I didn't take it to heart too much.\n\nI just got a text from him this morning saying just '2'. I asked him '2... what?' and he replied saying that's 'the count'. So I'll assume he means girls he checked out and wondered what they'd be like sexually.\n\nWhat the fuck is his problem? Like why is he even doing this? A bit of teasing is fine, I do it to him too. But I think him texting me just for that purpose is crossing the line.", "summary": "Boyfriend frequently brings up other girls or will comment on specific ones around us who are hot- what's his aim with that and how do I get him to realize that jokes get old fast?"} {"id": "t3_ldk8b", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I would really like to get a girl's perspective on what i should do about my ex", "post": "I'm going to post my links from my other posts because theres a lot of information and i dont want to type it all again. if you would like to know more about my situation click on these links:\n\nI'm 25 and I called my ex for the first time since she broke up with me 12 days ago. I really miss her and am very much in love with her. I know shes going through some stuff right now and doesnt need a serious relationship right now. We talked for an hour tonight and it was great. I asked her a couple of times if she needed to go because of her son and she always said no. She even put her phone down one time to help her son and then came back to talk to me. At the end i told her it was good talking to her and she said it was really good talking to me too. She said i guess ill talk to you later, and i told her i'd call her in a few days or something. She seemed happy and said ok.\n\nHow do i need to approach this? I dont want to push her away or try to move too quickly. I do want her back in my life. I'd love to start over and go slower this time. Should I try? What would be the best course of action? How long should i wait before calling her again?", "summary": "My ex broke up with me last week because she couldnt handle a serious relationship right now. We talked to night and it went great. I want to get back with her."} {"id": "t3_4em88o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Overheard my (22f) bf (22m) say disgusting things about me to his friends", "post": "I've been dating my bf for 2 years now. Our relationship can be quite rocky sometimes but at the end of the day we really care about each other. He has an ego problem though and it causes problems every now and then. I'm not perfect myself, I can be quite hot-tempered but I always try to be a better person.\n\nThis evening I was at his house when a bunch of his friends came over. I stayed mostly out of their way to let them have their male bonding time or whatever. So I was in one of the bedrooms upstairs while they were all downstairs.\n\nAn hour later I was walking past the kitchen when I heard one of them mention my name. I heard my bf's voice and 2 of his other friends. Naturally I stopped in my tracks and decided to eavesdrop. I was truly disgusted at what my bf was saying. He was telling them about our sex life and my behavior in the bedroom in graphic detail. He said that Latinas are \"fucking crazy\" and that's why they're so \"wild in bed\" (I'm Afro Brazilian). He put A LOT of emphasis on my race which disgusted me. I thought he was gonna stop there but he didn't. He spoke of me like I'm some object he plays around with. He even told them that he intentionally pisses me off sometimes because the \"sex is better\" when I'm angry at him. \n\nI'm a very, very private person. I never talk about my sex life or even relationships. I hate the fact he told them this because I feel embarrassed and objectified. More importantly, I'm really shocked at how much emphasis he put on my ethnic background.(Btw he's Italian American)\n\nI avoided him for most of the day and he asked me whats wrong. I told him that we'll talk about it later since I need to gather my thoughts. What should I say to him?", "summary": "Bf told his friends very intimate details about our sex life. He sounded extremely douchey and spoke of me like an object. Is there anything reasonable I can do?"} {"id": "t3_1v93m4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [F/20] tell my SO [M/21] of 1 year I'm becoming less attracted to him as he gains weight?", "post": "My SO and I have been in a relationship for the past 13 months. I knew him 2-3 years ago through mutual friends, when he was extremely skinny. At the time I knew him back then, I was significantly heavier than he was, and even though I was into him, I knew he wouldn't reciprocate the feelings towards me because he probably didn't know I existed. \n\nFast forward to the night we met again after a long period of time apart. I slimmed down a lot, while he went from borderline anorexic (he was grieving his father's death and didn't eat) to somewhat filled out and physically proportionate to me. I was more physically attracted to him than ever. He wasn't skinny, he was normal. \n\nDuring the course of our relationship, however, he's gained approximately 30-50 pounds. This is just an estimation, I've never actually seen him step on a scale or known his exact weight. I love him more than anything, and I still enjoy having sex with him. I just don't know how to tell him that I'm not as attracted to him as I was in the beginning of our relationship. In fact, I really wish he'd cut back on the unhealthy food he eats for his own health (which is unstable in the first place) and to restore sexual attraction back in our relationship.", "summary": "Boyfriend gained a significant amount of weight during our relationship, wondering if/how I should confront him about not being as attracted to him? Or am I just being a harsh bitch?"} {"id": "t3_mr4zj", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "No idea if this guy is an immature teenage kid or a sweet guy?", "post": "i'm in highschool, and I got set up on a blind, double date so that my best friend wasn't alone with her date. (she was too nice to say no to the guy, but felt it would be awkward alone)\n\nI found him on facebook, and he was cute so i agreed, but my friend kept saying that he was immature, awkward, and not dating material. She goes to a different school and is friends with him, so i guess she would know. Anyway, I went on the date, and he was a total gentleman, and really sweet and nice. My friend kept on telling me that he was acting differently around me, and it wasn't the way he normally is. \n\nNothing happened on the date, but we've been talking ever since. He still seems the same to me as he did that night, and i dont know if he's acting differently than normal, or if my friend was mistaken. \n\ni'd totally date him, but also nothing like that has come up in our conversations and i dont know what he thinks about me. I also wouldn't want him to not show me who he really is if we started dating...so what should i do? I want to get to know the real him, but what if i did, and realized he was too immature and then he asked me out? am i overthinking this?", "summary": "went on a blind date with a guy my friend said is too immature, he acts normal around me, but i dont know if he's faking being normal for me. what to do?"} {"id": "t3_3g0kov", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 M] with my girlfriend [26F] of 8 months just discovered she has a mild eating disorder.", "post": "Been dating my amazing girlfriend for 8 months. She is a wonderful, extremely beautiful and caring person. She is very healthy now but yesterday she opened up to me that she sometimes makes herself purge when she eats something unhealthy. \n\nI starting digging in and asking her why she does this and the reason is because she hates what she sees and shes not happy with herself. I knew before we dated about 6 years ago she went down to 100lbs, could not get her period anymore. Her mom forced her to the doctor and she took away her treadmill and she wasn't allowed to see her friends until she got healthy. I thought she was over that horrible part of her life but it seems like she somewhat isn't. She eats very healthy and eats well, and shes in the gym at least 6 times a week for 1.5 hours. Its when she eats chocolate or something sugary that she wants to vomit sometimes. I'm afraid she might be relapsing. I asked her if shes seen a therapist and she said she has few times and she says they just make her angrier because it won't help. I don't want her to have low self-esteem. It hurts to know that someone you care about so much is thinking so negatively of themselves, because she doesn't realize I love her more than her looks, it truly kills me inside because she will never understand how much I love her.\n\nI would do anything for this amazing women. She is the love of my life and I would die for her, and i can't understand how a person with that much beauty can feel that way. What can I do to help her or convince her that seeing a therapist is ok.", "summary": "Just found out gf has eating disorder. She says therapists don't help and that it isn't a big deal. What can I do."} {"id": "t3_pf6mr", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Is it out of line to talk to SO about drinking habits?", "post": "24/m & 21/f together 7.5 months. Not living together.\n\nSo my boyfriend likes to drink. A lot. When I met him it initially didn't bother me. He had this magnetic personality that drew me to him and he was a lot of fun. We could talk all night, drink beer and watch a movie. It was almost perfect. There have been moments through the past year that have made me question our lifestyle though - moments where we've gotten in fights because he's so drunk he took my concern for his well being to mean something condescending and passive aggressive. I very rarely have a \"fun night out\" anymore, it always devolves into me driving us home or taking care of him in some way.\n\nI've given him some bit of leeway - that this behavior might be because he's simply bored/coping. He's working a service job and sort of biding his time until I graduate (he's been out of school for a year or so) and he's also legitimately lost two people he knew for his whole life in the past year.\n\nHe's never been outwardly abusive - no hitting, no real emotional abuse other than what (I see) has been accidently misconstrued while being drunk. But lately I've found myself missing the person I fell in love with. I like the man that makes me dinner, takes me on hikes, watches and makes fun of bad movies with me. The drinking is getting worse - we are having less sex and I don't feel loved. It's sad I'm starting to live for the brief 20 mintues in the morning where we cuddle and I feel loved and safe again.\n\nWe are fairly open with communication but I just needed a little validation before I bring this up. This is a big issue and I don't want to cross the line. I don't want to break up with him. Is this alcoholism? My point of view is that if we are going to be in a serious relationship, a lifestyle choice has to be made or else he's probably going to lose me when I can't handle it anymore.\n\nSorry, relationships, at this point now I'm just talking to myself.", "summary": "Pretty sure BF has drinking problem, trying to figure out if it's out of line to bring it up and try and work with him to better his life or to just give up and leave."} {"id": "t3_qirp3", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Can I be held responsible for family parking tickets?", "post": "I don't know if this is the place to ask, but you guys normally know what to do with debt collectors so here goes.\n\nAs of today my school's parking agency has posted $115 worth of fines to my student account. This means that unless they are paid I can not graduate. The fines equate to 3 parking tickets, 2 from before I went to this school, and 1 after I was attending. The kicker is that I didn't receive any of these tickets they were all given to my family members. The first two, when I wasn't attend the school, were on my dad's car. He has appealed these tickets though because he wasn't on my school's campus at the time, in fact he was in columbia and skiing, and I was attending different school. The last ticket was on my brother's car, though he never paid it because he didn't think they would follow up on him.\n\nI am on the insurance for both cars but does that make me responsible for parking tickets that I didn't get? I haven't spoken to the parking department yet. I thought I would ask here first so that I seemed informed when I confront the situation. Any advice would be great.", "summary": "My family members got parking tickets can I be held financially responsible for these tickets because my name is on the car's insurance?"} {"id": "t3_3fualv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU Threatening to blow up school (accident)", "post": "You may ask yourself how do you accidentally threaten to blow up a school? I'll tell you how. My friend and I were prank calling people. For some reason he called my school. No one picked up so we left a message. Basically leaving our names and joking around saying \"we will blow up the school like the 4th of july\" and some other random comments. Thinking that most or some voice answering machines will ask if you want to send or delete the message it didn't do either. Instead when it was full of about 10minutes of us randomly talking about random stuff it says \"message sent.\" I just sit there for a second.. scared.. thinking about what i have just done and start to burst out laughing. I don't know why i would be laughing in this situation but i did. I guess i was so scared it became funny. And that is how i accidentally threatened to blow up my school hopefully i don't get swatted tomorrow.", "summary": "Friend prank called my school with me on the phone we left a message thinking it would ask us if we wanted to delete or send it and instead it sent us threatening to blow up the school."} {"id": "t3_14ke72", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I need some help with a girl I think I love.", "post": "Ok so we're both sophomores in high school and we're pretty good friends. We talk a lot and we are completely open to eachother. We say what's on our minds,etc. But here's the deal. I told her how I felt about her and that I liked her and basically asked her out. She said that she likes this senior that she went out with last year; but they broke up (he broke up with her). She said she doesn't know why she still likes him and she hates it but she likes him. I kinda guessed that was going to happen when I asked her but I just had to. Nut the thing is I love her with all my heart and I can't stop thinking about her. I was going to tell her in like a week but then I thought that would just make things more awkward...so I just don't know what to do? Should I wait and see what happens with her and the senior? Oh yeah, I'm also pretty good friends with the senior, so that's even worse. Any help is appreciated.", "summary": "I like this girl but he likes someone elso Jo doesn't like her. I told her I like her... She kinda turned me down but wasn't sure....what should info now?"} {"id": "t3_uvl2b", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Married couples of different religious beliefs, were both of your beliefs respected during the wedding ceremony? My fianc\u00e9e and I are in a similar situation and would like to know your experience.", "post": "My fianc\u00e9e and I are planning to get married in the fall after several years of dating. She grew up Catholic and attended one specific church until college. Her dad is also still very active with the church. As a result, she would like to have the wedding at this church. I am an atheist and would prefer if we did not have the wedding in a church. However, she has expressed how important it is to her so we are having the wedding in the church. The middle ground is that I want my views respected and do not need to compromise them in order to have the wedding in the church.\n\nWe just finished our second [PreCana] session where I was informed by the priest (who knows I am an atheist) that I will need to acknowledge God's presence and express it while exchanging vows. Consequently, I am having serious doubts that the middle ground can be achieved.\n\nThus, we are seeking out other couples who went through or are going through similar situations and would like to know if the middle ground is feasible based on your experience? For example, is it possible to exchange vows where I do not need to acknowledge a higher being? We have taken one step toward the middle ground by removing the Mass from the wedding but it still feels like I will need to compromise my atheist views in order to have the wedding in the church.", "summary": "It is possible for an atheist (me) to get married in a Catholic church without having to compromise my atheist views?"} {"id": "t3_1prrgv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Just found out I could be pregnant... Both 20.", "post": "Well hi. I'm not really sure what to do about this. I don't even know what I'm asking for, for sure. I just need to get this all out.\n\nTo start off, here's some background info. My boyfriend was a virgin before, and had wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. Well, I guess we had some awesome chemistry or something, and six months into the relationship, he cracks, and we have sex. My family never found out, my parents approve of him because he is still a virgin (as far as they, and every one else, knows). We've been together a year and a half, so a year of a healthy, secret, sex life. I got on birth control about two months ago, and the sex picked up more from there on out. \n\nThe past week or so, I've felt horrible. I thought I had a cold because of the constant tiredness, head aches, and nausea. But now that I've felt this way for around ten days, I started to get worried. I took a pregnancy test about an hour ago, and it came out positive... \n\nI'm currently going to college and out of a job, while he has a few jobs and is making more than enough money for him to live on his own and have money for fun. \n\nI'm going over to his place tonight, and am planning on talking to him when he gets home from work. Now, I know he is against abortions 99% of the time. But I also don't think that he wants a kid yet. One thing I'm scared of is how it would look to everyone (my family, his family, all of our friends) if we've been pretending to be abstinent for the whole relationship, and suddenly I'm preggers. I know he would hate to have people look down on him for that. I'm not sure if I would want an abortion or what either, yet.\n\nI'm not sure what I want to hear. I guess I could just use some advice, and some ideas how to talk to him about it... Thank you guys a ton in advance.", "summary": "I found out I'm possibly pregnant, but everyone thinks my boyfriend and I are virgins. How do I talk to him about it, and possibly deal with the judgement from others who find out the truth?"} {"id": "t3_4pgwx4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [F23] feeling guilty about crushing on someone new [M25], 3 months after a break up. Is this justified?", "post": "My ex and I had issues long before we broke up. He still had an ex in the picture, lied about doing drugs and various other things. Anyway, we broke up and he was my first serious bf (first sexual partner too). We weren't together for that long, 8 months two of which were long distance.\n\nSo I've met someone and despite the circumstances (he's one of my roommates. I know, I'm not going to act on it) and we get along really well. I'm kinda salty still and we joke about it. Usually we just chat and hang out, nothing serious. We consistently chat till late at night about all kinds of things. He often tells me to not feel like I need to rush getting out there. Until quiet recently something changed I started feeling mushy around him. Usually we joke and tease each other but suddenly it's stopped. He doesn't contact me during the day as often and when we do talk there are long pauses. \n\nI feel guilty for liking someone so soon, is it too soon? I don't want to get hurt or be used. I don't think I can be in a relationship right now but I think it makes me weird with the new guy. I know he likes me in some way but I feel like I've ruin something or turned him off with my mixed signals/push and pull behaviour.", "summary": "I think I'm overthinking and creating weird vibes because I feel guilty /slutty for liking someone new 3 months after a break up."} {"id": "t3_2c4ipb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] dealing with messy housemates [22/21/20M]", "post": "I've only got a month left on my one year tenancy with with 3 good friends and housemates but I have reached breaking point.\n\nThroughout the past year I have been frustrated with the cleanliness of the house. I simply live to a higher standard of cleaness than my housemates. They're not pigs, they don't let things get mouldy or disgusting - it is just simple tasks in communal area like dusting windowsills, hoovering the stairs and corridors, washing the rugs, and cleaning up spills and stains from dinner basically never get completed without me asking. I usually just do these tasks myself because it is quicker to just clean them up myself rather than wait 3-4 days for people to get it done, which is the amount of time taken when you ask them (plus a huge amount of passive aggression). In addition I organise the bills, getting handymen in to fix stuff etc. so it's not like I'm lording it over them.\n\nIt is especially annoying given my high workload at uni in the final year of my degree - I was doing 9-5 days and still having to keep the house clean whilst they were in the house all day, out for 2 or 3 hours for lectures and just lazing about.\n\nAs I said I've only got a month left but yesterday I came back to the house from a week away and it was in turmoil - dust was everywhere, bits of rice and pasta were stuck onto work surfaces, washing up was not done, electrical items were lying in puddles of water, grass and moss was all over the kitchen floor and no one had bothered to mow the law.\n\nI've only got a month left living with them so I don't wanna have a huge argument about cleaning because it is such a short time left, but how do I get my housemates to clean up after themselves and be less lazy?", "summary": "Housemates don't pull their weight, house is messy, simple tasks don't get done for days after asking, what to do?"} {"id": "t3_114mc4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Any Reddit Advice on how to begin starting up a company? NDA's, Patents, other factors??", "post": "I'm a big fan of Ask Reddit. I'm on here most everyday during my commute to work reading entries. I thought I would leave lurkerdom to post my own question.\n\nI'm attempting to develop an idea which I would ultimately like to form a company with doing. However, I've come to realize that I only have the idea itself; and no real way to protect what i'm doing. I know i'll require assistance from individuals with specific skills; and I know that I'll need to go through a patent process. \n\nFor some clarity, it's a type of new technology that I would like to develop.\n\nHow does one even go about properly raising the funds to start such a process? I understand how VC's work (to some degree), but I've heard personal stories of individuals getting pushed out of their own company/work in the process.\n\nIt's my first attempt at this type of thing and all my research on how to properly do this are causing confusion. Any experienced entrepreneurs have any advice, tips, experience, success stories, failure stories, etc?\n\nI should also mention that I do not currently live in the U.S., although I am a U.S. citizen. I'm just fearful that somewhere along the road it's going to get stolen.", "summary": "I have an idea, no clue how to get things moving; seeking advice from redditors with experience in entrepreneurial type of things."} {"id": "t3_16inn6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Current psychiatrists and psychiatry-related (or medical school) students, how do I even start the process?", "post": "Background: I am a college student, in a Biomedical Engineering program at a school known for said program. I am in my 3rd year of study, out of 5 (as the school has a 3 co-op cycle, meaning I am in school for Fall/Winter quarters, and then have a 6 month job internship, paid). I'm also a white female, born in the US, so I don't have a huge advantage in terms of acceptance to medical school.\n\nOver the past year I've been trying to figure out what I want to do after college. With what I have read, and the professors and students I have talked to, I realize the job possibilities post-undergraduate with no additional degree in Biomed are very few. Most go on to graduate school, law school or in the vast majority of cases, medical school. Most of my classmates are in BME to up their chances of medical school acceptance, with the intentions of being a doctor of varying sorts. Besides the fact that I need to take the MCAT, I know nothing about the process of applying.\n\nI am extremely fortunate in that my parents will (to an extent) help me with some fees, but I expect to be taking out some loans in the case that I am accepted to medical school. Right now I am more concerned with the \"getting in\" aspect. \n\nI am concentrating in neuroengineering, and I am intending a minor in psychology. Psych has always been of the utmost interest to me, since my family has a prevalence of mild-medium degrees of mental illness. At the urging of my parents (both businesspeople), I went into engineering to achieve a \"technical base.\" It is not my intention to get a masters in any engineering field, because I feel my talents are exceedingly in the favor of another venue: psychiatry.", "summary": "I want to become a psychiatrist, which I understand entails medical school, and I have absolutely no idea where to start with any of it."} {"id": "t3_1xnau2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27M] with my girlfriend[25F] of 6 months, freaking out that she maybe cheating.", "post": "She left her Ipad up and I was going to log into my account but there was a chat message still up. It was from one of her college friends no big deal. As I'm about to close out I read the last sentence and it felt like my world just crumbled apart. In this conversation she says that she is not tied down, that she is going on dates with different guys. But that is not the case I've been with her for 6 months and we spend a lot of time together so she wouldn't have to do so. And the worst part she starts talking about this guy that she is sleeping with and what they did and it wasn't me.\n\nI was crushed. I didn't know what to do I confronted her about it and she gets mad at me. Saying that those stories about hooking up were a long time ago and that she never said that she was going on dates to her friend.\n\nI am just so confused this girl that I care a lot about did all of this and I couldn't believe it. The funny thing is that she has said she could never cheat on anyone, that she wouldn't do that to me, cares so much about me. I just can't face the facts right now and it makes me feel like I didn't know here at all.", "summary": "Found out girlfriend might be cheating on me. I just can't deal with the facts and can't believe any of it."} {"id": "t3_33bze0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[20/M] first time going on a date with another man. I cant shake the anxiety and don't know what to expect", "post": "I'm sure I am over analyzing everything about this interaction but I know that talking to some strangers with experience could at the very least calm my anxiety. I'm sorry if the way I say anything offends anyone, I have almost no experience with the gay community and I feel like I have been repressing these feelings for a long, long time because of my upbringing. I am in college now and have been living away from my very religious parents for two years, though I've known I am bi for a lot longer.\n\nI met him [21] on tinder and we flirted a bit (he seems to be a super nice guy, we have a lot in common, and he has been very flattering). We have a coffee date ~~tomorrow~~ Wednesday and I don't expect things to go anywhere really but is there anything I should know? I feel like a fish out of water since I don't have any gay friends I can ask for advice. \n\n * Any men who have gone from dating women to men; is there anything overarchingly different about it? \n * Is there anything I should know beforehand about the sex?\n * I'm not even that experienced with dating in general (I was in a 6 year LTR that ended a few months ago) so just general tips would be appreciated.\n * I am planning on telling him of my inexperience pretty early on, is that the best idea and whats the best way to bring that up? I don't want to make him feel like this is just an experiment to me", "summary": "About to go on a date with another man for the first time, I feel even more lost and anxious than I did before my first date. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_xhvwn", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, do you still believe in altruism?", "post": "I was right infront of a bank parking lot today sitting in the car when I saw what appears to be a cellphone. So I picked it up and went back in the car and behold it IS a cellphone: nothing special, talk and text phone. So I went to its inbox to contact one of the owner's friend(\"Mom's cell\" was first in the inbox) informing her of the lost cellphone and encouraging her to contact the owner. I happen to leave the lost phone in the car for about an hour. When I got back to check it I saw 12 missed calls a minute apart and 2 messages from one person. First was saying I was seen picking up the phone and driving away; second was saying to bring back the phone and I will be rewarded cash. When I went to text back it won't let me send so I assumed the phone service was cut off. I was thought of a thief when really I only mean good.", "summary": "found phone. Was gonna contact someone from phone book to inform owner. Owner thought I have no intention of giving it back despite my effort of reaching her(assuming pink hard case=female owner)."} {"id": "t3_4k99ba", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27M] with my father-in-law [55M] of <1 yr, wants to put my name on his business-related documents", "post": "I have a PhD in chemistry and my father-in-law is starting a business that helps companies write grant proposals to get R&D money from the government. He wants to put my name (and PhD title) alongside his on business cards and other marketing stuff related to the company, since a science PhD lends credibility. The thing is, I don't actually have anything to do with this company and I'm worried that if any of his business deals go sour or if he leaves people with a bad impression, it could affect my reputation and future career prospects.\n\nI let myself be pressured into allowing him to list my name on his website as someone who does consulting for his company, but not as an employee or partner. He just sent me a business card that has my name listed alongside his and some other random PhD that has nothing to do with his business. I want my name removed from this, and excluded from anything else going forward.\n\nHere's the problem: my wife [24F] things that my refusal will cause a large blow-up where her family will accuse me of \"not caring about family\" and other such nonsense to guilt me into consenting. This is exactly what happened when I stopped my wife from unknowingly signing as a guarantor on a business loan for her brother that we wouldn't have been able to afford to repay if things went wrong.\n\nMy wife thinks we need to make up polite excuses to get out of this. I just want to tell him that I'm not comfortable having my reputation attached to a business that I have no part in. Technically, being employed by another company is a violation of my current contract, so these cards in the wrong hands could get me fired.\n\nAny advice on how to deal with this would be appreciated!", "summary": "FIL wants to put my name and PhD on his business cards. I am afraid this could negatively impact my reputation and career."} {"id": "t3_1e59vn", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Has your dog ever had nicotine poisoning?", "post": "My 10 month old 55 lb. ABD/BC mix might have eaten approximately 1 gram of tobacco. I didn't see it happen, just noticed that a portion of snus I thought was on the table was no longer there after he walked by. \n\nOf course, I immediately called the vet, who told me to attempt to induce vomiting by administering hydrogen peroxide within one hour of the possible exposure, however I did not have any on hand. Since my dog tends to vomit if he takes a ride in the car immediately after eating, I fed him a cup of his food and brought him with me to the grocery to purchase said H2O2. He didn't throw up, and by the time I had the H2O2 in hand it had been almost an hour and a half since the possible exposure. \n\nI took him to the dog park for about an hour after that, and we are now home, a total of about 3 hours since he might have eaten the tobacco. He seems fine, but I'm staying in today to keep an eye on him (missing a friend's birthday party, but I'm sure she understands). \n\nWhat I'm not sure of is what I'm looking for, i.e. what he might do to indicate that I should take him to the emergency vet. Has anyone encountered a similar situation? What sort of behavior would he exhibit if he were sick?", "summary": "My 55 lb dog may or may not have eaten 1 gram of tobacco. What are the signs of nicotine poisoning I should be looking for over the next 24 hours?"} {"id": "t3_4xcbml", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why do so many people look down on girls for having a sugar daddy? Is it wrong for me [21F] to feel no shame or guilt about it?", "post": "Been browsing various threads and it seems that being a sex worker in the past is a huge red flag for most people, why is that? People say that they can overlook a girl having been a stripper but disgusted by a girl who has had a sugar daddy.\nI currently have a SD that's a successful lawyer and he pays me a monthly allowance and buys me nice gifts, pays for dinner dates, etc. I think the whole arrangement is exciting and we have the most interesting conversations. I think he's fascinating and he adores me, we haven't even been intimate yet although I know we probably will be in the future. In my opinion I'm just profiting off my looks and reducing my student loan debt by doing this type of arrangement. He honestly treats me better than any other guy I've dated in high school or college. I also realize it's not a serious, emotional relationship either. \nHowever now I'm very nervous about meeting a guy in the future and having him look down on me for what I did in the past. I used to think it wouldn't be such a big deal to a guy but now I'm not so sure. I also don't know if I could ever tell my female best friends for fear of judgement. Thoughts?", "summary": "Have a sugar daddy and am worried potential partners will look down on me for it even though I don't think it's a big deal at all."} {"id": "t3_2dyimf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[20/M][19/F] 1.5 Months, Advice/ideas for long distance relationship while I study abroad?", "post": "I'm a 20 year old dude who recently entered a relationship with a 19 year old lady. Unfortunately due to the timing, I am going to be leaving to study abroad for 10 months in Sweden after just a month and a half of being together.\n\nAlthough the relationship is very new, things got serious pretty quickly. We're both really attached. We've each been in long-term relationships before (1 year her, 3 years me) She has been in a long distance relationship before and I've dealt with having a s/o away for a few months before so we somewhat know what to expect.\n\nMy main question is if anyone has any ideas of things we can do as a couple during the period of distance. For example two things we plan on doing are picking a TV series/anime and watching it together over Skype, or playing Magic: The Gathering over Skype. Does anyone else who's dealt with a permanent or temporary long distance relationship have any ideas of stuff they did or any other general advice?\n\nAs a side note one area I want to pay special attention to is reassurance of the relationship to prevent any insecurities from getting out of hand.", "summary": "New relationship, going to be across the globe for 10 months. Ideas for ways to keep relationship going strong/fun things to do for long distance relationships?"} {"id": "t3_32iyeh", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "This is cheating, right?", "post": "Hey Reddit,\nI'm having an issue with my boyfriend of three years and I want your opinion on it, plz. We got in an argument today over nothing and he left on a day that I was supposed to accompany him on, solo. I opened up my laptop( that he uses frequently) to see his fb open and messages back and forth from another woman(used lightly) open on the screen. They are talking about me and he is flirting with her. He is saying things to her that he said to me when we first started dating. She is young and shares his hobbies and they were friends last year before I said that she made me uncomfortable. Now my fears have come to fruition as he is messaging her back and forth(which I can see) talking about how he decided to be single and we are done and she's so pretty. He hasn't said one word to me after this fight btw. Oh and these messages have been going on for the past week. Super flirtatious and he always initiates conversations with her. I should mention that he is always on my case about me cheating on him...which has never happened. Never even talked to another man the way he is talking to her.\nSo, is this considered cheating. We are done regardless.", "summary": "BF sending messages to other girl about not loving his GF of three years and how this new girl is amazing. Cheating?"} {"id": "t3_1l5733", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/M] Best friends unstable GF is trying to get with me.", "post": "My best friend of a decade started dating this girl about two years back. She had a bad reputation in our group of friends beforehand, but we didn't want to base our views on rumors. Over the course of these two years she has cheated on him multiple times (each time, he takes her back.) and has been pretty much ostracized by the majority of our close friends. Seeing as how my best friend forgave her, I decided to let bygones be bygones and try to be civil. She was really happy that one of his friends starting talking with her again. Recently I got into a situation (I won't go into details.) where she told me of her past as a cutter and multiple attempted suicides. She listed her emotional instability as reasoning behind her cheating, and a way of \"keeping her body busy so she doesn't think of hurting herself.\" She says her relationship with my friend is keeping her sane, but she has started texting me (a lot.) In social situations where for some reason it's just us two she gets very touchy and flirtatious, not very subtle in her approach.\n\nI don't know how to make it known that I'm NOT interested without her going off the deep-end and hurting herself. I also don't know if my friend could get out of this relationship even if he wanted to because of the risk of self-harm. \n\nPlease /r relationship_advice, I need your help", "summary": "Friend has unstable girlfriend who sleeps around, and she picked me as her next target. How do I let her know I'm not interested, and how could my friend get out without her reacting badly."} {"id": "t3_jwzy9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "In love with my sort-of-step-sister...", "post": "Ok... \n\nBackground:\n\nMy dad met a woman and has been dating her for three years. They don't want to get married until all of her kids and me are out of the house. \n\nAnyway, my understood-step mom has a daughter who over three years who I have become in love with. She is best friend and I have no idea how she would respond if she found out. Another problem is she lives in another city a few hours away but I visit every other weekend. She and I are only 16 and we are also kind of physical. We will stay up until 4:00 in the morning talking with our arms around each other lying 3 inches from each other's faces. We tell each other absolutely everything. (except this of course). I'm not sure if she actually cares about me or she is being a huge cocktease because she does not want to lose her problem solving talking friend. This is the most awkward situation ever.", "summary": "I am in love with my sort-of-stepsister who lives in another city a couple hours away who is also my best friend and I don't know how she would react if she found out."} {"id": "t3_fpghp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "DAE grow up in a house where both parents were alcoholics? How did you cope? How are you doing now?", "post": "When I was a kid (about 6), my parents would leave me and my older sister (9-10) home alone and go to the bar, only to return around 12-2am (sometimes 4am) drunk. I was afraid I wouldn't see them again some of the nights. I have no idea how I coped, but I guess I just eventually accepted the circumstances. My self-esteem was relatively low while growing up, and I can't say I'm very emotionally stable. I don't do drugs or drink regularly, but I used to go through jobs like candy until I learned to get my self stabilized. I feel I've come pretty far (got a steady job, at least), but I still occasionally have very self-destructive habits. I'm not sure how much of this (if any) is caused by my parents drinking habits. But I thought I'd see how other people that grew up in this situation are doing.", "summary": "both parents drank throughout my childhood. now i'm sometimes unstable but have learned to manage pretty well. how 'bout you?"} {"id": "t3_2ha9tm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my Ex [22 F] of 5 months. How do I build back her trust to be in a relationship with me again?", "post": "This is a throwaway.\n\nBackground: My ex and I had been dating for 5 months. About a couple of weeks ago, she moved to a college town about 5 hours away. I offered to go with her while transferring my job. Within those 5 months, she broke up with me twice( I had went to a dinner with my ex without informing her very early in the relationship and she saw the photo on FaceBook and she broke up again later due to her not wanting me to uproot my life for her.)\n\nOn the 5th, I went up to go see her for the weekend and to do a job interview in her area. At her request, she asked if I can stay the week and I said yes.On the 12th, we get into an argument about a text I had sent to a girl and why I deleted it. At the time I told her it was a friend who had an abortion. The Sunday before I left, we argue about it again. She doesn't believe me when I said it was my friends fling and says that I had cheated on her and got some girl pregnant or had intentions to cheat with the girl that I was texting. We then break up over this. I've tried to tell her that I haven't cheated or done anything in the wrong.", "summary": "Broke up because my ex thinks I'm hiding something and that she can't trust me. I'm not hiding anything. Is there anything I can do?"} {"id": "t3_3l3ot5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25/F] and a guy I had just met [21/M] hooked up for one night--having trouble determining what he wants.", "post": "I'm a 25-year-old woman who had a fling with a man who is 21-years-old. I had just met him and he was only in town for the weekend. He told me via text beforehand that he was just interested in hooking up and I agreed. No strings attached. And it was AMAZING. I had a great time with him.\nI worry he maybe didn't have as good of a time as I did because I'm not very experienced (and therefore maybe I wasn't as good as he would have liked) and I also bled a little bit because I hadn't had sex in awhile. \n\nAfter we were done hooking up and we were putting our clothes back on, he told me he might be in town next weekend as well. I feel like he wouldn't have mentioned this if he didn't want to hook up again. Am I right to think this?\n\nAfter he told me that, I told him to hit me up if he came back into town next weekend and he said \"For sure.\" But I suppose he could have been just saying that to not hurt my feelings or something.\n\nSo what do you all think? Does he want to hook up again?", "summary": "if you have a fling with a guy who's only in town for the weekend and afterward he tells you he'll be in town the following weekend as well, does that mean he's interested in hooking up again?"} {"id": "t3_rakem", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the worst rumor ever made up about you?", "post": "All of us have been through High School or College and have that pressure of friends and know how rumors can come about. I was just wondering what rumor has ever been started about you that was the absolute worst.\n\nI'll start -\nI have a girlfriend i met in freshman year of highschool. we started dating at our sophmore year, broke up, but got back together during our Junior year and have been together ever since.\n\nWell one day, a week before our 1 year anniversary, I went to my first concert. All around concert was fine I guess, wasn't worth the amount of money that went towards it, especially since it was just a dubstep concert -- would've gotten the same experience going into a room and clicking play on ITunes.\n\nAnyways, seemed like a good night, hung around 2 of my friends the entire night. When one would start hooking up with a girl, I would find the other and just bounce back between the two so I wasn't alone.\n\nFast Forward 2 months..\n\nI get a call one day while at the gym with the friend I was with the entire night during the night of the concert, and it was one of my friends that I used to be insanely close with. She starts off the conversation like \"I don't want you to lie, I won't be mad at you or anything, I just want to know the truth. Did you hookup and cheat on ___ the night of the concert\"\n\nAfter a couple minutes discussing how this became a topic of conversation, she says that apparently a lot of people have been talking about it and that they all think I cheated on my girlfriend.\n\nMy girlfriend, after talking about it with me and crying over it and then getting mad, finally believed me and not everyone else. But this dumbass rumor almost completely ruined my first real relationship.", "summary": "Went to a concert one night. 2 months later, i find out everyone has been saying i cheated on my girlfriend of one year and that they all apparently \"saw it\" even though nothing ever happened."} {"id": "t3_4zbjv5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[14] I always see all these people saying family is on the first place and such but I don't feel it.", "post": "Even when I was in the bus going to school a drunk guy came to me and told me to always help and protect my family but I find much more of a family in my friends.\n\n I just don't feel that way, I always have and still hate my father, when I was younger I just thought his personality was fucked up but now I'm begining to realize that he has mental issues and choses to do absolutely nothing about it, he just eats everyones mental health, even his closest friends choose to avoid him.\n\n My big brother [18] has a great education and is currently going to college but he really isn't \"smart\" at all. He just spends most of his time playing LoL which just seems really sad to me.\n\nMy mother would be the only one I would miss if I moved for high school, she really cares about me because in her childhood she's been through what I have in the last 5 years, exept her dad hit her mom, not her, I have to do wrestling with my father.\n\nIf I hadn't met a good friend of mine in 5th grade to get me out of my shell I probably would have felt too awkward to even write this. Even if he turned out to be an asshole and what I though was a lie, that lie kickstarted me to a better life.\n\nI really don't know if I just inherited my fathers stupid genes and now I'm crazy but I really feel like leaving this place to go to Millitary high school on programming.", "summary": "My family is a mess and I feel bad for not caring about them, except my mother. I feel like moving for highschool and getting a girlfriend would be a better trade off."} {"id": "t3_1ku515", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Update: My boyfriend and I have never had a real fight and I'm afraid when we do it's going to ruin our relationship. (27F & 29M for 8 years)", "post": "First post: \n\nMy boyfriend and I had a very long talk discussing my concerns. He promised me that there's no resentment building up and emphasized the fact that no one is forcing him to do these things. I've been trying to compromise more often but he usually insists that we do what I want to do (i.e. picking a movie to watch that he doesn't like but knows I'd be interested in). In all honesty, his behavior hasn't changed dramatically but he has begun to ask me for more favors, which I'm completely fine with doing.\n\nI'm still not a little anxious about the prospect of us having a big fight but after reading everyone's comments I'm sure that any fight between us won't be as terrible as I've made it out to be. He's a good guy and he's handled everything perfectly so far.", "summary": "I realized I was being crazy. Talked things out with SO. We still haven't had a real fight but I'm less worried about it."} {"id": "t3_3wusqb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Breakups] How do I (16M) get over her (18F)?", "post": "So my ex and I were together for 19 months before we broke up and she cheated on me for like 3 months. This was an online relationship, but we loved each other and we were both inexperienced with love and relationships. After we broke up, I still had feelings, still do to this day, no matter what she has done to me, I still fucking love her. We are still really good friends and we want it to stay this way since we love talking to each other, we aren't gonna get back together, I tried, but she gives friendly hints and isn't a loving girl, but a caring friend. I just wanted to know how I can get over my feelings for her while maintaining the contact I keep with her, talking to her all the time. I know I will need to find someone else that loves me to fully get over her but I just want to know how to minimize my feelings for her and look at her as a caring friend instead of someone that loves me...", "summary": "Online relationship for 19 months, she cheated on me for the last three, we are friends now, how do I minimize feelings for her and see her as a caring friend instead of something more while talking to her often?"} {"id": "t3_1liyxh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [22M] wait longer to talk to her? [21F]", "post": "This is pretty elementary but I've never been in a relationship before. Class started two weeks ago, and this girl and I have made eye contact multiple times now. I thought it was just coincidence at first, but now I'm beginning to think that it might not be. There seems to be \"something\" there, though I don't know what it is - maybe it's just awkwardness or something.\n\nWell, that's literally all that's happened, and I plan to talk to her soon, except that it's so early in the semester that I think maybe she will get weirded out or something, or that I will seem needy and ready to flirt and try to establish a relationship and all that when really I just want to see if we can become friends. Should I wait a couple more weeks to talk to her?", "summary": "Eye contact with girl in class for past week and a half. Should I talk to her on next class ( Wednesday ) or should I wait a couple more weeks, considering how long the semester is?"} {"id": "t3_1udn58", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "24M wants to send 23F flowers to work but don't know if I should....", "post": "A little background info. We met online but havent met in person yet. Im flying out in March to spend an entire week with her. I have her address and know where she works. A few weeks ago her best friend died in a tragic accident and today they finally put out her headstone so she's taking it pretty hard. I dont want to send flowers to her complex cause she has to work late and Im afraid they will sit in the lobby till Monday. Would it be wrong of me to send flowers to her work place to make sure she gets them tomorrow?\n\n Also what would be the best flowers to send? I dont want it to scream love I just want it to make her day better cause I know it'll be on her mind all day at work especially if its slow for her. And to clarify yes, we are kinda working towards a long distance relationship. Any and all help would be great.", "summary": "lady interest has had a shitty week and I want to send flowers to her work but dont know if its the right thing to do."} {"id": "t3_uo5ef", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What should I do with my current bf?", "post": "Ages: Mine 20, His 21.\nGender: Female.\nRelationship: 3 months\n\nSo...my fin aid is currently cancelled for college and I went through an appeal. I wasn't able to finish some SAP policies because of my sexual assault(took my out of class, had to drop a class due to harassment) and I told my SO because I thought he had the right to know what was going on. He already knows about my assault.\n\nAnyways, that was a week ago and it seems like he's dropped off the planet. He's told me everything is okay with us but his actions are stating otherwise. We haven't talked in a week and I understand he's busy and I understand I've been emotional lately but I don't know how to get through to him.", "summary": "Pretty much everything has been going great up until this week and I'm not sure if this is just an off week or his freak out mode. Advice, please?"} {"id": "t3_2ygz15", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my fiance [28M] 2.5 years, repeatedly searched for a girl he worked with on Facebook", "post": "My fiance and I spent the last eighteen months working and travelling. While we were away we picked up work at different stages and while at one job he remarked that one of the waitresses was really attractive. We shared one device while we were away and I noticed that he had searched for her on Facebook. I asked him about it and was a bit upset because he'd not looked up anyone else he worked with- just her. He said it was nothing and he was just curious. I was a bit concerned because she was french and he'd needed to have memorised her surname in order to find her which I thought was a bit creepy.\n\nFast forward to now and we got engaged last month and on the night of our engagement he looked up all of his ex's on Facebook. I know because he passed out half way through and his laptop started blaring music at 2am with images of his ex all over the screen.\n\nThat's one of a few instances when he's been pages deep in other girls photos and it really doesn't sit right with me. Especially because it's never random girls, it's either exs or girls he used to have crushes on. Last night I noticed facebook had a new app that lets you see everyone you've searched for in the last year or so. I couldn't help but go through his and I saw that while we were away he tried several spellings of the french girl's name over six days until he got it right. Does this sound like a crush? I've been torn up today but he doesn't think he's done anything wrong because I wasn't meant to see it. I can't help but wonder why he was thinking about her so much and so desperate to find her facebook. He never added her and as far as I know they haven't had any contact since.\n\nI already know that I'm crazy but am I overreacting and should I just drop it? Or should I be concerned?", "summary": "My fiance spent 6 days trying to work out the name of a girl he worked with so that he could look at her Facebook. Should I be concerned or am I over reacting?"} {"id": "t3_2c5c6e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 2 years, was planning of mutual break up but now everything has changed.", "post": "Okay I probably know what your thinking after reading my title. No she's not pregnant. I wouldn't going to you guys if that was the case. It's actually this, my girlfriend of two years graduated high school a couple months back and was to go away at college. Since I'm still in college but was close to her house (cuz I go to community college near her house) so that was what made it work but the original plan was that she would be away at college. Basically 30 minutes north of my house but an hour away from my college. I wanted to release some pressure of having a relationship and be mutual friends and we were planning on doing that until this morning. She has been having this chronic headache condition and she went to go see a neurologist to see any options and this ended that she will have to have brain surgery to prevent her from becoming blind in the future. So I have no fucking clue to do cuz I need to have less pressure in my life to finish college but I don't want to be the douche bag of century and break up after brain surgery. So guys if you can, some advice would be very appreciative.", "summary": "My girlfriend is having brain surgery but I want to be pressure free of having a relationship for me to finish out college and focus on me but don't want to break up and not be there for her."} {"id": "t3_2qzn7f", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by getting drunk with my Stepmom. She confessed that she's decided to divorce him.", "post": "I'm 27, and they've been married for 14 years. Their marriage has been challenged a LOT in the past 3 years and to be frank, he can be kind of a prick. My stepmom is the most amazing person I've ever met and I am eternally grateful that she is in my life. After drinking too much tonight, we decided to take the dogs on a walk and in casual talking, she broke down about her recent cancer diagnosis, her mom (my grandmother) being in the hospital and said, \"2015 is going to be a SHITshow, and I'm not looking forward to it\". I'm currently living with them after moving back and she highly suggested I find a place asap before it all goes south. They are a high net worth couple and I have a 10 year old step sister so I know firsthand that it is going to be ugly. I knew they were having problems but tonight was the first time I heard divorce and now I'm not sure what to expect of 2015. My stepmom is incredibly strong, independent and compassionate but seeing her break down and feel like a failure was awful. She's questioning everything she's done in marriage and parenting because of recent actions and I know that nothing I can say changes or invalidates her feelings. I just don't know how to best help, if at all.", "summary": "got drunk with my stepmom, and she confessed she's divorcing my dad. Love my stepmom (possibly more than dad). Unsure how to be there."} {"id": "t3_1vxb0x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [36 F] with my boyfriend [34 M] 3 months, Am I asking for too much?", "post": "Background : I've had one serious relationship in college, many years ago. He has had a \"normal\" amount of relationships and has been married.\n\nWhat I want is affection. What I receive is a hug whenever we say good bye and a close-lipped kiss. I've told him I want more affection. \n\nI want to sleep over more. I want to cuddle on the couch when we're watching a movie. I want to hold hands. I want to be able to reach out and touch him and I want him to do the same. If we're fighting and I have hurt feelings, I want hugs.\n\nI know that I lack experience and am the big weirdo because I've spent most of my days pursuing other things in life and not pursuing relationships. He is an introvert and you know, life is tough and whatever, and so he says he can't give me the affection I need.\n\nAm I asking for too much? I mean, I wouldn't even need everything on my list if I could just get a few things. But we just spend so much of our time near each other and never touching and I'm even afraid to reach out and touch him because he won't reciprocate (which hurts my feelings, and I don't know if it should). I feel like even though I haven't had many relationships, I'm not an idiot. I mean, I know other people in relationships. I can see what happens and how varied it can be and I feel like I can know what I want. But I just wonder if I'm fucking delusional or something. So tell me, am I asking for too much?", "summary": "I want what I consider to be a normal amount of affection and I'm not getting it. Am I asking for too much?"} {"id": "t3_2av29i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (32f) niece (29f) told me she came up with a plan for my husband's (35m) disability and now I'm kinda freaked out.", "post": "For the the last 7 yrs my husband has been trying to get disability and it looks like it will finally happen very soon. Over the yrs when I have had a question about the whole process, I have always asked my niece as she had went through it all with her ex husband and she's always been able to help me. \n\nOver this past weekend her and I went on a over night trip. On the long drive she said two things that I just don't know what to even think\n\n1. She took it upon herself to calculate how much back pay my husband should be getting. \n\n2. She said she talked with her boyfriend and they think once my husband gets his Medicaid, he would be eligible for medical marijuana for his disability. She would take the pot and sell it for us. We would make at least an extra $400 a month with her getting a small cut. She told me we would have to be very stupid not to do it.\n\nWhat the fuck. My husband and I have no involvement when it comes to pot or any drug for that matter. Why is she and her boyfriend talking about my husband's disability at all? \n\n The pot thing freaked me out but her saying she calculated his back pay really freaked me out. My husband said she will probably be wanting money since she thinks she knows what he will be getting. I have purposely never talked about the money part of it with anyone, it's no one business. \n\nSo what should I do? I thought I xould trust my niece but now, i feel really uncomfortable.", "summary": "My niece made a plane for my husband's disability and insurance amd it freaked me out. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3epk0i", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm [21/m] scared as shit of commitment and real intimacy and trying to break the pattern with her [21/f]", "post": "I've been seeing a real lovely lady for the past four months. She's sexy, selfless, supportive, patient, compassionate, focused, and embodies so many other beautiful qualities that I admire. She is, without a doubt, the most caring, invested, and honest person I've been in a relationship with and lately there have been moments in which I feel myself glow and surrender to my emotions and feel love. In these moments I am fully present and involved and any other plan or priority loses importance. \n\nHowever, I find myself wracked with anxiety and overthinking when I am not with her. I wonder if I am in the \"right\" relationship, I question whether she can understand certain aspects of me, I hold her up to old, fantastical expectations of women and I exacerbate my agitation by getting after myself for feeling these gnawing doubts. \n\nThese feelings of hesitation and doubt are not new to me and in at least the last four semi-relationships I've tried out I've let them dictate my actions. Because of these fears I've let people go and have realized retrospectively that my actions were either premature or unfair and now I am finally with someone who is genuinely happy and secure with herself, capable of loving me thoroughly and fully, and I find myself uneasy at heart, feeling the old, familiar feelings of fear.\n\nWhat can I do to just let go and immerse myself in this? I'm tired of feeling this in waves of intense affection and surrender that, ironically, only intensify the feelings of doubt and hesitation later. She's aware of my emotions and she's had shades of them herself, but mine have been going on for a couple of months now and I want them to not have such a strict command on me. I'll spend entire days thinking about them and sometimes I feel that the anxiety and hesitation consumes me so much that I am unable to feel myself outside of these emotions. Again, I've had these feelings before and the course of action has always been to end things, but I feel that doesn't truly solve my deeper issues of fear and commitment and I feel that she is someone I want to learn to love, at the very least. \n\nHelp out, please", "summary": "I tend to pull away from relationships out of fear. I can feel myself doing it again, to an amazing person, and I want to fight it and learn to love."} {"id": "t3_dkikx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, Monday I start teaching piano at a private academy. I have no teaching experience, advice?", "post": "An old friend of mine owns his own private music academy. He recently asked me if I wanted to be a teacher. I instantly said yes, and he said I was hired- no interview, no testing of my teaching or music skills. I took piano lessons from ages 9-15. I am 20 now, and play 5 instruments including the piano, guitar, bass, drums, and accordian. Other than 6 years of private piano lessons in my home, a couple of music fundamental classes in college, and experience in performing for small crowds, I have no experience in teaching kids how to play. I am extremely excited, but extremely nervous. I see the other teachers have music degrees, years of experience of performing at concerts and benefits. I feel very underqualified for my dream job. I get the curriculum tomorrow. The kids are around ages 7-12. I will be teaching about 4-6 at a time. I have a good knowledge of music theory and piano, but just lack the professional experience. Any suggestions?", "summary": "I start teaching piano at an academy monday, with no experience or formal degree in the field other than my private lessons as a kid. Advice?"} {"id": "t3_1f2giu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[19]F and [19]M friends for the longest while and now dating... Stuck with emotions", "post": "When to say I love you when your with your best friend? Been close for two years and even closer for a year. Started dating a few months ago. I love him and have no idea how I'm supposed go about... well... either telling him or hinting about my feelings or anything... its far different than ANY relationship I've been in. We've been through ex's jealousy losses bickering anger... everything... and our friendship has stayed strong. we have the same morals and ideas and goals in life... and I truly feel in love with him. and not the fast passionate puppy dog love. the slow happy easygoing love that just keeps growing. He's just a very timid person and I don't believe has ever said those tree words in a relationship... but I refuse to say them first... I want him to mean it and not feel pressured. what to do?", "summary": "I feel the urge to say I love you but doesn't want to say it first though he I know he may not say it."} {"id": "t3_4qhfz8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my 23 [00 F] 1 year duration, please honestly tell me if I am wrong", "post": "Hi,\n\nso I have been lurking this sub for quiet a while and hope you can help me with a problem I have in my relationship.\nI am aware that it might be me who is wrong so I try to present everything as objectively as I can.\n\nSo we have been dating for about a year, known each other for 4 \nyears and everything has been great so far. We are long distance at the moment (not that far like 4 hours car ride) but we plan to move closer in the next year after she finishes university.\n\nOne problem that has been bothering me for a bit is that I feel like it is super difficult to plan anything with my girlfriend. So I am aware that because I am working at the moment and she is at school that it is not as easy for her to plan ahead. \n\nA few examples of what is bothering me: \n1.\nShe planned to visit me next week but might come 3 days later due to some friend visiting her at the last second.\n2.\nWe planned to talk tonight but she told me 20 minutes ahead that she cant make it because some friend invited her eat together as a go away present.\n\nThe reason why I am bothered by those two incidents is, that I do not have a great deal of free time at the moment. For example if she told me earlier that she will visit me 3 days later I would have liked to join a trip with my friends. Or today I left work early to talk to her as our schedules collide at the moment and we do not have a lot of time where we are both free.\n\nSo I am really not sure if this is someting I have to get over or something that I should adress with her.", "summary": "Girlfriend seems a bit flakey with plans. Is it something I should compromise with or something i should adress?"} {"id": "t3_4xtv5w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Girlfriend (26F) Wants Me (26M) To Move Her In. I Don't Feel It Is The Rite Time To Do So.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating 2 Moths to me, but 2 years for her. Her and I broke up after a year, and a year later we are now back in a relationship. \n\n I won't go into depth of the breakup, but it involved some emotional cheating and things that took me a long time to move past (1 year) before I was willing to try again. \n\n So now, here we are. I have lived on my own for 16Months. She has never had an apartment of her own (she lives at home with her parents). She is ~2 weeks off from getting her own place now. She is attempting to guilt me in to moving her in with me. \n\n It's not something I feel is ready. She feels we have been together for 2 years, I feel we have been together for 2 months after what I consider to be a fresh start and a clean slate. \n\n Another problem is the amount of change my life is undergoing. I'm finally attending college for the first time, looking into better jobs with health insurance, and am unsure if I will be moving sometime soon to be closer to a new job, closer to college, ect. I'm undergoing so much change that I feel not only is it too soon but I'm also unsure of just what is going on in this new chapter of my life. \n\n Her immediate assumption is that I don't see us long term. That I don't ever seen us moving in together, and things of the sort. \n\n I feel that she is getting cold feet with moving out of her parents for the first time and is seeking a safe-haven. Something less risky. \n\n What do you all think? Is my mindset wrong? I'm feeling rather unsure. \n\n What I do know is that this isn't the rite time. Even if that's something she disagrees with. \n \n________", "summary": "Girlfriend wants me to move her in with me. She's getting her own place in 2 weeks. I'm undergoing too much personal change in life for that next step."} {"id": "t3_4be72h", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to get buff", "post": "excuse me beforehand for my english, it is my second language. the case happend 3 months ago but only now my friend convinced me to write about it. me and my friends allways try to get better head from drinking buzz, so we try all creative ways to make it better and i guess you ask how it is related to me getting bigger dont worry it will be answered further ahead. so me any my friends sit in a park at night just drinking haveing fun until sasha comes up with the idea of drinking vodka upside down from the back entrance, and how all the young kids are now doing it and its way better then just drinking from the mouth, well we all agree and they try it, it was really wierd to watch from the side but they had alot of fun, here is the part stuff go boom boom for me, because they know i work out they suggest me to do it too but with protein shake and of course VODKA, i had no idea why at the time that seemd like a normal think but i went with it. after a couple of hours i felt really sick and calld my friend eigor, he came to my house only to find me passd out on the bed with alot of protein on the floor, he take me to hospital they laugh, i cry, my mom calls me stupid, my dad says he probably would do the same, great day, i no longer friends with them try to make better friends now.", "summary": "buzz and shakes in bumm alot of fluids on floor hospital doctors laugh i cry mom pissd off dad would do it too."} {"id": "t3_2tzz0f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 M] asked a girl [20 F] to coffee, then she told me she had a boyfriend.", "post": "Hi all, so, as the title says, I asked a girl from one of my classes to coffee. She responded by saying that, while she doesn't drink coffee, she would like to do something with me. This is around the second or third day we had known each other and so I felt like my intentions were clear as it is a common thing on my campus. Afterwards we texted for quite a while into the late night. \n\nIn the midst of the conversation, she passingly said 'my boyfriend'. I'm not trying to step on toes or read too far into this, nor do I want to break up a relationship or anything like that, but I'm very confused. \n\nOf course there is only so much the internet can get from my description, and I'd be happy to describe it more, but how do I read this? Or handle it? I'm just trying to get back into the dating game so I'm behind the curve, haha.", "summary": "Girl I asked to hang out with passingly mentioned a boyfriend, how do I read this/what do I do."} {"id": "t3_4mk2w6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [M, 21] girlfriends [F, 22] farts are the worst I have ever smelled and she doesn't seem to bother.", "post": "Hi everyone,\n\nso this is a bit embarrassing. We started dating almost two years ago.\n\nI want to say, I'm used to pretty bad farts. I have lived for three years with a roomie who had lactose intolerance and couldn't give a fuck about it. But her farts smell *worse*. Like, a lot. \n\nAt first I thought she had eaten something wrong and I was a little too embarrassed to address it, but her farts continued to smell like a dumpster on fire. So after a week or two I told her that I couldn't bear her farts, that I am concerned that she might be sick, that she should see a doc and that she should leave the room when she feels that she has to fart.\n\nHer reaction was... a little demeaning, to be honest. She made it pretty clear that she doesn't see a problem with it and that I should leave the room if I have a problem with her farts.\n\nAs stupid as it sounds, I thought about breaking up with her because I just can't stomage her farts and I am not willing to seek refuge in the bathroom every ~30 minutes because she ripped one.\n\nSo, has anyone of you some advice?", "summary": "GFs farts smells like death, isn't willing to do anything about it, I sit in my bathroom and need help"} {"id": "t3_34wfq7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Girlfriend's (f18) Officially a Model Now, and I'm (m18) Uncomfortable With It", "post": "Hello Reddit people! This is my first post ever, so I don't know if I'm formatting this correctly or anything, so please bear with me. :P\n\nNow that we have that out of the way...\n\nSo, my girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 8 months, and she just got a modeling job for a magazine or store or something. And this girl is absolutely beautiful, 10/10 babe with large breasts and the most amazing curves I've ever seen on a girl. Just a couple of hours ago, she messaged me about how she was going to be modelling for them regularly, including swimsuits during the July photoshoots.\n\nNow, I really, REALLY don't want to be a possessive or greedy boyfriend, but this just, well, makes me uncomfortable. Hundreds if not thousands of people are going to see my girlfriend in barely any clothing, and I know for a fact that the male models are a dozen times as attractive as I'll ever be. Plus, well, we all know there's those people who take these magazines home, and... do stuff.\n\nSo, how should I deal with this? Should I tell her up front that I'm not comfortable with it? She's really flirty, and I have no idea what the culture is in the modelling industry, so I don't know if she'll end up leaving me for some hotter guy than me (I'm not exactly an Adonis), or that her body's basically being exposed to the world. That kind of bothers me because guys (or girls) don't exactly go into a relationship with the understanding that nationwide people are going to see your girl (or boy)friend's nearly naked body on a regular basis. But on the other hand, I don't want to be controlling, and I want her to be happy, so maybe I should just forget about the whole thing. Am I overreacting?", "summary": "Girlfriend is a model now, I don't want her to fall for somebody hotter, among other issues I have with it. Should I mention it to her?"} {"id": "t3_42f6dy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How crazy am I [27F] to date my boyfriend [28M] of 1 month?", "post": "I met my boyfriend in a bar six weeks ago, and since exchanging numbers we have been like crack to each other. Together all the time, hardcore infatuated. I'm so intoxicated by him that I think I'm having trouble seeing the situation clearly, despite being a rational person in the rest of my life.\n\nI'm in the first year of a doctorate that will give me a professional credential I'll be able to have a very nice career with. For now I'm living on a grad student stipend, so I'm not rich, but I did get a prestigious fellowship that allows me to work a lot less than the rest of my classmates (no need for an extra campus job in order to get paid). So I have a lot of free time. My coursework is also quite easy. In order to start this program I had to relocate to a new city pretty far from anyone I know. So far, in fact, that the culture here is really different from anything I'm used to, and it hasn't been that easy to make friends over the past 6 months. I've felt pretty lonely and isolated. To top it off, I broke up with my long distance SO of 2.5 years in November.\n\nI met my new bf only a few weeks after that breakup. He's my age but lives the same way that someone ten years younger would: at mom's house, working a shitty shift-based job, with only a few years of community college that he never finished. He also had a 2 year old daughter (who I love). He doesn't have an academic mind, if you know what I mean. He's much more of a visual thinker. And he's an MMA fighter.\n\nObviously my parents aren't thrilled that after my ivy educated PhD ex I have found this guy. Heck even his mom thinks I'm \"too good\" for him! On paper he sounds terrible. But he's really physically and emotionally compatible with me and he makes me really happy.", "summary": "My boyfriend and I are radically different, and everyone in our lives is skeptical of the viability of our relationship. Should I ignore the haters or am I being naive?"} {"id": "t3_2qevxs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (39F) don't seem to have any \"best\" friends or a circle of friends.", "post": "I've always been a bit of introvert, probably from being an only child. A little socially awkward probably... tact is not something that has always come naturally to me, but I have a good heart and have never meant to hurt anyone's feelings on purpose. Now that I've gotten older, I tend to not say anything rather than say the wrong thing.. so people think I'm just the \"quiet one,\" when that's not really the case; I'm just afraid they won't like me or I'll make an ass of myself.\n\nI've never had a ton of friends.. in high school I hung out with my boyfriend's \"crowd\" because I didn't have my own. I'd have one or two good friends, but that was about it. I was in high school 20 years ago.. before Facebook, Internet, cell phones etc. I think having those things would have helped my social life a lot. \n\nFacebook has helped me reconnect with a lot of people, but not many of them seem particularly interested in hanging out or getting closer with me. Everyone is so busy with their own lives, it's almost like everyone already has their \"best friends\" and don't need any new ones. So this would happen.. reconnect with an old friend on FB, go to lunch once, attend one party together.. and then never really hear from them again outside of FB. Don't get invited to the social gatherings they post pics of on FB. \n\nI don't know what I'm doing wrong. I do get a few invites to do lunch, but pretty much no one texts me during the day to share a funny joke or something or ask me how I am. I don't have a lot of really close friendships, I guess is what I am trying to say. The people I'm closest to are my husband and my mom. I feel like I have a lot of friendly people in my life, but no \"real\" friends.\n\nThoughts?", "summary": "I have trouble making and keeping friends, and do not have a real circle of friends or any \"best\" friends. This problem has plagued me my whole life."} {"id": "t3_1wband", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[31 M] paranoid with gf [30F] 3mths. Sends an email which never arrives. Sobers up, won't tell me what's in it", "post": "She goes away on holiday. The morning she's due to come home she texts saying she's drunk and horny can't wait to get home and may need to have sex in the airport. Brilliant. Followed by a text saying that she has sent me an email which I should read before I pick her up. No email arrives. She replies later 'probably just as well!' I say she could just copy&paste into a msg but she doesn't reply. \n \nAnyway, she was drunk and while I got those messages in the middle of the night, later on in the day, I'm still a bit curious. So I text and ask and she replies but ignores the curiosity. \nI pick her up at the airport, and though she travelled with a big group of friends (about 10, mostly all couples), she's on her own and her eyes are bloodshot. She's obviously tired but I feel she's a bit distant - like she won't let me push the trolley for her. \nI decided beforehand I wouldn't mention the earlier text as I wanted to give her a chance to bring it up herself - she doesn't. Unsuprisingly, no shenanigans either. She's tired so I let it go. \nAnyway, I'm chewing on this all day and realise I can't wait any longer so I text and say that I think she should tell me what was in the email. She says it was deleted when she sobered up. I say I think she should tell me what was in it, she also refuses. I say then I'll continue to think the worst, she says it was a topless photo. I ask if she's deleted it, she says she has. \n \nIt does make some sense about it being a photo, except:\n* she has sent me a photo before \n* but through MMS, not email\n* she could have been straightup about it being a photo, and not an 'email' right from the start \n\nAnd that's where it stands...", "summary": "She says the deleted email was a nudey pic. I don't believe her and I'm having an ol' freakout"} {"id": "t3_1b0d25", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [19f] told me that she loved me [23m] and has been distant since.", "post": "I have know my friend for roughly 3 months, most of that was spent working with her. Life happened and we no longer work together but we have been hanging out and talking at least 2-3 times a week and she always gets extremely excited when she sees me. We text some but nothing too in depth.\n\nThe last time that I hung out with her we just sat and talked for a little bit, laughed at a few memes that described me perfectly and then started listening to music...typical night...except she started singing...the first time I've ever heard her sing. I told her that she had a pretty voice and that she should sing more often and she told me I'm the only person that she has ever sang around.\n\nAfter a while we had to part ways and I went to leave and she said \"I love you\" and without even hesitating I said \"I love you to.\" Since then she has seemed a distant, like not returning texts or asking to hang out.\n\nDo you guys think that I'm just over thinking this or is she upset?", "summary": "Friend said that she loves me and without even hesitating I told her that I loved her as well...she seems distant since then. Am I over thinking this or is she upset?"} {"id": "t3_44h9co", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [20/M] judging the girl I'm seeing [20/F] too harshly for the actions of her friend [~20/F], or is it legitimately a dealbreaker/red flag?", "post": "I met \"Liz\" about a month ago. We have been on a few dates since then and have really hit it off. Although we haven't labeled anything yet, we're probably on the way toward becoming an official item and have made plans to attend a formal event together at the end of this month. \n\nThe only problem is Liz's friend, \"Annie.\" I didn't know Annie that well until recently, but the more I learn about her the more negatively I feel toward her. When choosing who I associate with, I am very concerned with morality and ethics. Annie has done things I find highly unethical, including stealing (from both our university and someone at a party) and seriously considering lying about having a disease in order to circumvent our school's requirement for undergrads to live on campus. While I don't agree with the living on campus rule, I would never get a fake doctor's note and pretend to be sick to get out of it. I disapprove even more of the stealing, and I think it's important to note I wouldn't know about it unless Liz told me - she mentioned it kind of casually, and while she doesn't do it herself or think it's really okay, she definitely isn't as bothered by it as I am. I don't know exactly how close Liz and Annie are, but they seem to be pretty good friends and are in the same relatively small major at our school.\n\nI have a rare medical condition that would be a dealbreaker for many people, and I've seen plenty of stories of other people with this condition getting into/staying in bad relationships simply because they're afraid nobody else will want them. Although I wasn't explicitly looking for a relationship when I met Liz, and wasn't unhappy being single, I'm worried my judgment is being clouded by Liz's acceptance of me and my inexperience with relationships - I had never been on a real date before I met Liz, and have never been in a relationship either. I really like Liz and she really likes me, but her friendship with Annie is making me question her character and values.", "summary": "potential gf's friend is kind of a scummy person. Is it fair to judge someone for their friend's actions? How should I talk to Liz about my doubts?"} {"id": "t3_53volr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25F] never had a BF but plenty of FWBs!", "post": "I am a girl who has always been aware of relationships and 'evolving' sexually. I am not the prettiest girl in any room but I can be confident and enduring. I have relocated countries twice in my life S.Africa> Ireland> London\n\nI have tried online dating from OKC to Tinder and everything in-between to find someone who finds me attractive and intelligent. \nI am also sexually adventurous having been involved with the bdsm and swing community. I have also been on the irc community (though no longer- past 3years). \nSo i feel I have ventured every avenue though I have not yet found someone. \n\nI come from a very conservative family so I knew early on if i wanted a bf or fwbs I would have to use online mediums and guts!\n\nI have however been able to find longterm fwbs but they have either been the type not looking for a gf or cheating on their gf with me (been sexually active since I was 21).\n\nI have currently stopped all sexual activity for a year now while focusing on my postgrad studies. I have become so aware of my feelings of loneliness, wanting to start and explore a relationship with someone. \nIt is honestly something that hurts me, I feel I could be worth a gf, I want to share my life with someone and cook for them and cheer them on!\n\nWhat is it about me that doesn't attract a bf? Am I just meant to be single and why would that be, especially as I am so longing for a partner!", "summary": "never had a bf but fwbs. Tried various online mediums to meet others with no success. Curious what I am doing wrong. Feeling lonely and confused about why I have never had a bf by 25!"} {"id": "t3_4ghnzv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to tell if GF[22F] and exes like Me[23M] or just attention?", "post": "Hey, so to begin, I've been dating my current gf for 4 months now. It's been good however based on some conversations I had with her before and my past experience, I can't tell if she actually likes me for me or mainly because she likes that I care. Basically what I mean by that is of course I need to also get along with her but there's nothing special about me in particular other than I am the one asking how she's doing, complimenting her, etc.\n\nI definitely would acknowledge this is my problem as well. My current GF has a bit of a self-esteem problem and my ex did too. My ex definitely liked the attention more than she explicitly liked me and so that comes into my thoughts. \n\nMy GF and I were recently saying the lame sweet things you might say in a relationship and she says she likes that I ask about her as if that's a special thing, I can't help but think isn't that pretty normal? Like anyone that liked you would ask that stuff so what makes me any different than another guy that would be interested in you? Other reasons she said she liked me were the pretty generic reasons you might like someone like I'm smart, attractive to her, etc.\n\nI know I definitely have an insecurity here but I guess I'm trying to separate my insecurity from a problem I think could actually exist. As I type this out, I can't even think if there actually is a way other than to let it play its course. I just hate feeling like a fool but who doesn't? In the end though, I guess my question is do I share this insecurity with her to see if there's an actual answer? Or is this something where I just have to tell myself she's chose you and all that stuff?", "summary": "Wondering if GF likes me for who I am or just because I'm the one who's giving her attention at the moment? Maybe just insecurity on my part."} {"id": "t3_140iij", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "My friend's asshole housemate.", "post": "Background: my friend/co-worker, Nate, started renting a room in his friend's house a few weeks ago. Nate is an awesome guy; he is funny, responsible, reliable and I always look forward to a shift with him. Nate's friend Liz asked him to move into her house (which she had just bought) and told him he would be the only person living there besides her. They agreed that his room needed painting so he bought a deep shade of red and got started covering up the ugly yellow old paint.\n\nOver the next couple weeks things went downhill. Liz had another friend, and then her boyfriend Mark move in. Despite not being on the mortgage and not paying rent Mark started to 'take over' as Nate put it. Mark would eat Nate's food, move his things, complained about Nate having 2 cars in the driveway (something Liz had previously said would be fine) etc. It all came to a head two nights ago when Nate got home late from work (as an EMT) and accidentally woke Mark up closing his car door. Mark confronted Nate, got in his face, screamed at him \"YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE ME MAD BRO!\" while Nate backed off confused, trying to de-escalate the situation. Mark went back to bed and Nate sat in his room fuming. Nate resolved to move out the next day (no lease or security, so no problem) so I, along with a few other friends went over and got all his stuff packed up. While there I noticed that his room was about 90% painted; all the roller work was done but it wasn't painted all the way to the ceiling or to the trim. On our last sweep through to check that everything was out Nate grabbed the last gallon of paint that remained and loaded it in the truck.\n\nLiz and Mark have no idea what color of paint Nate bought, and therefore have no way to precisely match the same shade. The red is also so dark and vivid it's going to be a bitch to cover over!", "summary": "My friend's roommate was such a dick my friend moved out, but he left them with a time-consuming problem."} {"id": "t3_obbcw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's your most disgusting cockroach story? Ill start.", "post": "Well to start one morning I woke up like any other morning, and went downstairs to make some breakfeast. I decided I would toast a navel and butter it, so I take out the toasted and put in my navel and turn up the heat a little. After about two minutes it pops up and I take out one piece and start to butter it. But in the middle of buttering the first babel a roach comes jumping out of the toasted flying at me, he then lands on the counter and starts his retreat. I run and grab my shoe by the front door and after many back and forths I finally hit him hes dead. So turns out this roach syltayed in the toasted the hole time and nearlly roasted to death, and no I didn't eat the bagel I threw it out and had to have cereal :/ we also threw out the toasted and got a new one. I haven't seen a roach since that maybe I sent a precedence for the other ones. So what's your most disgusting roach story?", "summary": "found roach in toasted while toasting bagel, after long epic battle I won and killed him. Ended up throwing out toasted and bagel. Haven't seen a roach since the incident."} {"id": "t3_16gt4h", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "How do I not wind up like my parents?", "post": "Due to health problems and the resulting unemployment issues, my parents wound up in a really awful financial situation by the time I was in high school. Lots of debt, poor decisions, bankruptcy, etc. They have a \"spend as if you'll die tomorrow\" philosophy, figuring their situation can't get any worse. We wound up technically in the lower class by the time I reached college and I am terrified that I will not be able to make good money decisions since I don't have great financial role models in my parents like many successful people do.\n\nI'm in my last year of college. I will have about $30k in federal loans when I graduate. I am hoping to go into grad school for a PhD, but am only going to attend if I can get a fellowship with a stipend. Otherwise, I will go into the workforce and probably make about $25-45k annually to start depending on what I wind up doing.\n\nRight now I have about $2,000 to my name. No assets. Good to great credit. I live in Washington, DC, where things are pretty pricey. I pay for things with my federal loan money for now.\n\nMy boyfriend is doing well for himself, making a living, saving what he can, and paying down his student loans. We'll likely get married in a few years and I don't want my money fears/ignorance to screw us up, nor do I want to mooch off of him.\n\nWhat can I do to ensure I start out on the right financial foot after I graduate, whether I'm in grad school or employed, considering I don't have much and my parents can't help? And what kind of person can I go to for help with investing/consolidating loans/general financial advice? Like sit down with them, show them all my stuff, and they will give me options of what would be most beneficial?", "summary": "At a financial disadvantage money-wise and knowledge-wise. What can I do to ensure success and not fall into the traps my parents did? What kind of person could help me know my best options?"} {"id": "t3_17mgnq", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "My February/Last-Day of July Challenge. Follow me!", "post": "So I am doing a challenge with myself for January 31st-February 29th/28th(Haven't checked if leap year yet :-)), basically until the end of February where I am throwing fear and uncomfort away for the whole month. I am not going to care what people think of me, be as weird, outgoing, fun, and also working as hard as possible. If you would like to follow me on this journey or do it as well you are welcome. Here is the blog, I will be posting everyday To be honest I am not expecting to have anyone following, but just the thought that someone might will keep me motivated each day to follow through and also to post. Sorry for the long text and thanks for reading if you got this far!", "summary": "Challenge for Jan 31st-Mar 1st. Check it out at if you want to follow along and keep me accountable."} {"id": "t3_1l927w", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Have a very dark past with my [23/m] family, New relationship [22/f]. Want to know how and when to bring it up.", "post": "My family deals with a father who is pretty much your stereotypical alcoholic gets drunk, gets verbally abusive. Almost a year ago now, while on a family vacation he got real drunk again and there was fight after fight and it ended up with me threatening to kill myself and a trip to the hospital. I'd like to make it clear it was out of shear frustration of dealing with this for years and not being able to have a way out. Here was a man telling me he loved me, how I was important to him, how proud I made him. Then he would have some drinks and turn into someone I hated so much. I didn't actually want to kill myself and was discharged after 5 hours. I have since cut that part of my family out of my life including him. I am much happier and am in a really good place mentally. Now I am starting to see this girl and we are taking it slow, it's fun, new and exciting. But I am really stressing out about how and when to bring this up. Obviously she is going to start asking who my family is and why I don't talk to them. I like this girl and don't want her to think I'm mentally unstable, it just seems like such an aweful thing to tell someone and in most people's book a red flag. Just looking on advice on how and when are the best times to drag some of the skeletons out of your closet.\n\nAlso Throwaway account, Alot of my friends and coworkers know my real account.", "summary": "Got in super big fight with alcoholic abusive father, threatened to kill myself. No longer talk to that side of my family. Wondering how and when to talk to new relationship about it."} {"id": "t3_15e0u1", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [18/m] am in love with a classmate [17/f], but she has a long distant relationship", "post": "Hi,\nlike the title says, I'm very in love with her. She is in a long distant relationship, and she thinks that her boyfriend will break up with her (because she want's to go au-pair to another coutry).(Don't get me wrong, I don't want her to quit her boyfriend for me, I only wanted to say this)\n\nShe and I have many things in common, and a few days ago she invited me to her appartment, to give me some films I wanted. I was there for about 1 1/2 hours, and we talked the whole time with each other. She said I could come over any time I want. I liked it very much. I frequently write with her, too, end then we end up writing for 2 hours or so.\nShe's also very kind to me, but I don't know how I shall interpret this whole thing, I'm confused right now, but I really love her.\n\nI didn't tell her yet, because I don't want to make her to force (don't know an other english word) her to make a decision.\n\nWhat should I make, should I wait and see what happens with her realationship? We're in the last scholar year, I don't know if I'll be able to see her after school as frequently as now.", "summary": "She's an a long distant relationship, she said it's unlikely that this relationship will last long. I love her, but don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_1gx0v1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[16F] with my boyfriend [16M] of 3 months, I'm having issues accepting something about him", "post": "Before dating him I knew he wasn't a gold-star citizen, and I know about his issues. His father, up until 3 or 4 months ago, would physically abuse him, and I know a lot of verbal abuse goes on as well. \n---\n\nFor awhile (since 7th grade or so) he would resort to drugs and alcohol, and when I met him in 10th grade he'd sometimes show up to school high, or even a couple times having done shots in the morning. So I knew going in about a lot of this. But these things affected him directly, and then only casted affected onto other people in a more indirect way. \n\nSince we started dating he's stopped drinking and stopped with the drugs almost completely. He hasn't gotten high in weeks. \n\nHowever, he's told me something about his past that I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around. He did something completely terrible that affected others in a direct way. He feels a large amount of remorse, and when he told me he was crying in the way that screamed regret. \n\nI don't know what to do, I care about him a lot, but this has taken away any romantic attraction. I was thinking about taking a break, but do those even work? I don't even know what that entails. Our relationship, up to this point, is short, only being together for 3 months but he's also a close friend of mine and I can't just walk away either. (I know there is 'other fish in the sea' but I can't just dump him because things get difficult. But how can I restore an attraction that was just ripped out?)", "summary": "Boyfriend involved in drugs, alcohol in the past I can accept. But I found out he's hurt people (not physically) and I'm having trouble accepting that and maintaining a romantic attraction. "} {"id": "t3_vb6bg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I don't want to do this anymore.", "post": "I (23f) and a coworker of mine (22m) have been talking and seeing eachother outside of work occasionally for two months. It is mostly an FWB situation, but lately it feels as though he has been developing some feelings. I have as well, and I think it's time to pull back from this situation because of that. \n\nHe has a long term girlfriend (for shame, I know) that he intends on marrying, and I do not want to be the reason for the dissolution of their relationship or add to any problems they are already having (which they must be, or he wouldn't be messing around with me, right?). I do not have any illusions that he would ever break it off with her to be with me, and I went into this with eyes wide open. We work the same schedule in a small area and have no choice but to continue being around eachother as our shifts are on a rotating basis. Changing shifts is not an option. I don't have a problem with continuing to be around him, but I doubt he will feel the same way. \n\nAny time I bring up ending the affair, he gets upset and expresses that he in no way wants to stop what we are doing. I also know that he is firm on the stance of not leaving his girlfriend. Again, I'm okay with this and wish their relationship the best (I don't know her personally), but I feel terrible about this situation now. I know I was in the wrong, and so was he, to do anything like this. Say what you will on that. I'm just trying to figure out how to end this tactfully and with the least amount of awkwardness possible, although I know some amount is unavoidable.", "summary": "I (23f) messed around with coworker (22m) with a gf; feelings present, no intentions of leaving gf; need to know how to end this tactfully. Feels bad, man. "} {"id": "t3_lv2v0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Lexapro instead of Celexa. Can I switch? No option. GPs office closed for holidays. Tomorrow is All Souls Day. My stock of Celexa is over.", "post": "To any doctors here - \n\nHi. I've been on Citalopram (Celexa) since May. 20 mg. For anxiety. I've been a student in Germany since 2009. Last month when I flew back home to India for a holiday, my doctor there replenished my medication stock for me. But he gave me a 6 month supply of Escitalopram (Lexapro) instead of Citalopram. Escitalopram is just the S enantiomer of citalopram, and apparently has better anti-anxiety effects. \n\nToday I finished my previous stock of Citalopram. Unfortunately, my doctor here near my flat is on holiday, tomorrow is All Souls Day which is a holiday too. The next appointment I can get is probably next week. Is it okay to switch to Lexapro? I mean, I have no other choice as of now.", "summary": "On Celexa. Stock over. Have Lexapro. GPs office closed for a fortnight. Tomorrow is state holiday. Can I switch safely?"} {"id": "t3_2bl2wx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I 28m break up with my girlfriend 29f?", "post": "This woman (lets call her mary) that I am involved with has a 3yo daughter with another man. they have been over for 2 years now. Lately she has been telling me he has been angrily messaging her saying she's trying to keep his daughter away from him. After hearing her side and reviewing the situation in my mind I agree that my girlfriend is in the wrong.\n\nI asked her if she has any reason to believe he would harm the child she said \"No.\" Then I told her that she has no right to keep her from him. Should I be worried about this behavior? Has she really moved on? Should I run now? Is this a sign that she is not as over him as she would like to believe? Am I overreacting? Could this be a sign of her true character?", "summary": "my girlfriend is coming in between her child and her child's father because of past issues between the two of them that have nothing to do with the safety and welfare of the child. Should I be worried about this?"} {"id": "t3_1njmvr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Are you self-conscious about how you appear to others on Facebook/Twitter? Are your social media profiles an accurate representation of you as a person?", "post": "I'm in a college course about Digital Media and Culture and I'm doing a project examining how we represent ourselves on social media and how social media impacts our understanding of our own identity.\n\nAs part of my project, I'm making a satirical Twitter where, instead of tweeting what I normally would tweet, I'm tweeting the self-conscious inner monologue that goes on in my brain when I use social media. \n\nSo I need your help. **Are you self-conscious about how you appear to others on social media?** I'm guilty of deleting a Facebook post if it doesn't get any likes so I don't seem like a loser. Do any of you do things like that?\n\nAlso, **what goes into your mind when you Tweet or post a Facebook status? Do you worry about whether or not people will like it/think it's funny? How are you self-conscious about your social media presence?** \n\nThanks for your help and I'm interested in hearing your input!", "summary": "Doing a project on how we present ourselves on social media. Are you self-conscious about what your \"Friends\" and Followers think of you? Tell me what your inner monologue is like when you use Facebook/Twitter."} {"id": "t3_35kbv2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [34M] really like my [27F] friend and I'm not sure on how she feels. I'd like your opinion. The story has a bit of a twist.", "post": "Let's call her Jane. I met \"Jane\" through some friends maybe a year ago we started hanging out here there. We became pretty good friends and I'd see her whenever I'd go hang out with my friends I met her through. She's an amazing girl, I love her personality and the way she carries herself. While I was going through a breakup she and I started hanging out a bit more and became closer. Recently when I see her at a bar I feel as if she's been a bit touchy with me (and I like that). So I started to like her as more than just a friend. \n\nFast forward to last week... I ran into her at a bar and we hung out. Went to a couple of other bars and got pretty tipsy. I drunkenly told her that I like her (don't know if she remembers) and I honestly don't remember her reaction. We ended up having sex that night. She took a cab home because she couldn't drive afterwards. The very next day I picked her up from work to take her to her car and it was as if nothing happened. Neither of us talked about what happened and haven't mentioned anything since. Everything went on as if nothing happened. Here's where I need your advice. I don't want to ruin out friendship but I do want to date her. How should I go about bringing up what happened and how do I tell her I like her without ruining what we have now? Having only been in one other relationship I don't have much experience in dealing with things like this.", "summary": "I have a friend I want to date. We ended up having drunken sex one night but neither of us talked about it after that. I want to know if she likes me as more than a friend."} {"id": "t3_2sh8p8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [19F] wants to watch a television show with me [19M]. I dislike the show, she really likes it, but don't want to upset her. What do?", "post": "So, my girlfriend (of 5 years) keeps asking me to watch a certain anime series with her. She has already seen it, but wanted me to see it too. Although, I'm generally adverse to shows such as the one she has been asking me to watch.\n\nThere's a simple solution, though, right? Just watch it with her to make her happy. So I did, I watched the first episode and some extra material with her. And then she asked me, \"So, what did you think?\"\n\nI try to be as honest with people as possible, so I responded, \"Well, it really isn't my thing. I probably would have enjoyed it when I was younger, but not really now,\" and listed some reasons why. There's certain parts of the show that make me uncomfortable, other parts that just seem silly to me, etc.\n\nShe still wants me to continue watching it, thinking I will grow to like it. I feel like if I don't watch it, and actively don't grow to like it like she does, she'll be upset. \n\nSo, what do I do? **Do I watch it and feign really enjoying it?** or **Do I continue to watch it and continue to be honest with her?**\n\nI'm sure the solution to this is common sense, but I'm having trouble figuring out how to respond.", "summary": "GF wants to watch anime show with me. I don't like it, but don't want to hurt her feelings. How do I respond when she asks me if I like it?"} {"id": "t3_339vf6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend [23M] of 4 years just told me [22F] he's bisexual. I'm very confused and have some questions.", "post": "I've always been a strong supporter of gay rights and have many gay friends, but now that it is happening on such a personal level, I find myself frustrated that I am having troubles coping. I'm hoping that learning more about this will help me figure it out.\n\nHe told me about a week ago. Our sex life and romantic lives have been stable, so I have no rational reason to believe our relationship is at risk, but there are still of these nagging fears in the back of my head. After he told me, I did a bad thing and went through his browser history. When I found gay and only gay porn for about the last 2 weeks, I got really upset and almost felt threatened in a way. Even if I have no reason to believe so, I feel like his attraction to women (i.e. me) might falter. My reasonable side tells me he is experimenting and learning about himself, but at the same time the absence of straight porn signals a lessening attraction to women in my head.\n\nHe has expressed no desire to fuck men or even try a relationship with one, but what's to stop those desires from happening in the future? My self esteem has plummeted and I don't feel nearly as sexually desirable as I did a week ago. My biggest end all fear is that two years from now he won't like women at all.\n\nDoes him being bisexual mean his attraction for women is less than if he was fully straight? How do I cope with that fact that he watches gay porn? Is this strictly gay porn situation just a phase as he figures things out?", "summary": "Boyfriend just came out as bisexual. I am having a lot of troubles coping, especially given the fact he doesn't watch straight porn anymore."} {"id": "t3_507s3b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Future FWB(24M) never got me(21F) birthday present despite promising.I got angry at him.Am I overreacting?", "post": "I have not had a relationship since I was 14.It ended so badly I focused on school and life.It wasn't until recently I decided to try dating.\n \n This guy also had a bad relationship.She cheated on him,left him,and he said she would physically hit him.He and his ex were together six years ,have a child.Their only communication is related to their daughter.It has been about two years since their relationship ended.Since then,he's had one night stand type deals here and there.\n\n We started talking about two weeks before my birthday which was August 8th. He swore he would buy me a present,promised he would never forget.I had a hard time believing him ,but he said he was determined to prove me wrong.\n \n Now, he's a really nice guy.We talk on the phone every day,one night it was over seven hours!He always sends me a good morning text,when he sees me he'll text me after complimenting my appearance.We agreed to \"go with the flow\" with our relationship.We have not slept together or kissed.\n\n We both work at the mall ,but different stores. So we see each other quite often. The day of birthday we talked on the phone,he wished me a happy birthday.No gift when we saw each other.\n\n Three weeks later, no present. I told him last Friday how hurt I was that he didn't get me anything, not even a card(which I would have been fine with). He said he's been so busy, he remembers but gets caught up with work. I got pissed because he's had three weeks to come up with something! I stopped texting him and ignored his calls over the weekend.\n \n Honestly, I feel a little silly being so upset. If he didn't promise to buy me a present I wouldn't care so much. We just started talking so I really didn't expect him to get anything ,but he insisted! I think I'm more upset that he didn't stand by his word. I feel like this is a dealbreaker for me. What do you think?", "summary": "potential partner promised to buy birthday present,three weeks later nothing ,I'm pissed and considering breaking things off before they really start"} {"id": "t3_1np8sy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[17M] feel like I'm over her[17F], but I can't stop thinking about our relationship we had.", "post": "Her and I had a great relationship for 9 months. We broke up due to long distance and arguments, and she soon moved on and we stopped talking. It took me a few months, but I stopped having dreams about her and I and I began to feel comfortable not having a girlfriend around anymore. \n \nAlthough, I couldn't stop one thing from happening. Constantly, I would catch myself spacing out, thinking of her and thinking of the times we had. I often accidentally say some insiders that her and I shared with each other, and when I do, it kind of sends me into my mind, thinking about her again. I do it anywhere - out in public, around friends, alone - I can't stop. \n \nNot only that, I commonly think about how her life must be. I always think that she's having a good time and I still feel like I have feelings for her, even though I feel like I don't? We broke off contact after being best friends for two years and dating for one year, and I feel like I really lost something. I can't talk to her about it, because the last time I talked to her (a month ago, give or take) she argued with me and told me to 'get over her', which I was still having trouble doing. I don't want to talk to her, but I do. I know I can't, she's most likely blocked me on everything anyway. \n \nWhy am I still thinking about her? Why do I still have thoughts about how great we were, even though we argued a lot and we had our disagreements? Am I over her, or am I still stuck in a trance? I have no idea how to feel.", "summary": "After a relationship that lasted for 9 months, I still find myself thinking about the girl I had very often. Am I over her? Is this normal?"} {"id": "t3_28zyx0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23M] and my wife [25F] (together 6 years). I thought I didn't want kids, but I realized what the issue is (See inside)", "post": "Hello,\n\nI've been with my wife for years before we got married, she's my girl, plain and simple. I love her to death.\n\nWhen we we first dating we were starry eyed children. We always talked about kids and how I wanted them, but as we got closer to the wedding and moved in together, we put it on the backburner. I eventually started thinking I didn't want to have kids.\n\nMy wife is a larger woman, which physically has never bothered me, but when I would think about her being pregnant, I would get worried. I've read the list of complications that can happen from being obese and pregnant, and how it can gravely effect the baby and the mother by increasing every negative outcome that could happen.\n\nI have begun to come to term with the fact that I think it's not that I don't want kids, is that I think if we have kids at her current health, that the chances of things going wrong are much higher and that could ruin us.\n\nNow, I've tried to be encouraging about weight loss, I've lost 100 myself and she even asked while I was doing it if I was trying to get her to lose weight (I wasn't, I just wanted to be healthier). But when the conversation has come up, she is VERY sensitive about it. It usually ends with her upset for several days.\n\nHow do I discuss this with her to let her know that I think I know why I'm afraid to risk her life and our relationship without guilting her? I don't want it to be ultimatum either, just laying down facts. I've tried to be subtle, I've tried to do the cooking, I've tried to be aggressive (that was a terrible idea).\n\nAnyone face this before?", "summary": "Husband realized he didn't want to risk Wife's health or baby due to wife's weight, not sure how to handle her weight."} {"id": "t3_45uho9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What is the best way for me (28f) to deal with ex, now friend and new BF", "post": "So I'm still casual friends with my ex, who I only dated for 1 month, but who dumped me and I had strong feelings for. Essentially, things ended before they had really even began without even sleeping together, but still a heartbreak for me. This happened 5-6 months ago, right before I started dating my current bf. I admit I have some leftover feelings of anger or thinking about him a bit too much.\n\nI have a new BF of 4 months. Is it totally wierd for me to invite him to hang out with this ex and that group of friends? If so should I tell him I used to date this guy?", "summary": "how do I hang out with new BF and group of friends including ex? Or should I avoid hanging around with that group entirely, at least until we're more established?"} {"id": "t3_18k5wl", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is it legal to force an employee to sign a non disparagement document in order to receive unpaid vacation compensation after said employee has given notice?", "post": "Throwaway for obvious reasons. A coworker gave notice that they were resigning last week and today was given a long document that included a non disparagement clause basically stating that they could not \"make any statements, written or verbal, or cause or encourage others to do the same, that defame, disparage, or in any way criticize the reputation, practices, or conduct of organization, employees, directors, and officers.\" It went on to say they couldn't do so in social media, to the board, media, employees past or present, etc. The only exception was in legal proceedings. \n\nIn order to receive their unused vacation time they have to sign this (there were other sections but this one stood out the most). Said organization is in Massachusetts and is a nonprofit if that changes anything. \n\nThis seems totally fucked up and potentially not legal, are we wrong in thinking so?", "summary": "employee who gave notice is suddenly told they have to sign non disparagement agreement in order to receive compensation for unused vacation time."} {"id": "t3_1peoo9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my gf [22 F] of 7yrs, She has severe depression and I don't think I can handle it anymore. Advice needed!", "post": "Hey all, thanks for taking the time to listen. I've been with my gf for over 7 years now. We met in high school and continued the relationship throughout college. She is my first long term relationship and so we learned a lot together along the way. She has always been dealing with some pretty bad depression. Meds don't seem to help and she's tried a lot of different kinds. She sees a therapist regularly and I can tell that she is trying her best.\n\nRecently she dropped out of her final semester of college and has been on a downward spiral. Panic attacks, no friends, extreme mood swings etc. I care about her a lot, but at this point in my life it has become so difficult to deal with. She relies on me for pretty much everything. She doesn't have any friends or family close by and so I am the sole person she hangs out with. \n\nI'm a social person and have a good group of friends but she really isn't interested in hanging out with them. I understand that she has a mental illness, but I seem to be hitting my breaking point. I see my close friends around me in their relationships doing well and it makes me sad that I don't have the same thing. Coming home to someone at the end of the day should not be stressful, but I know as soon as I walk in the door it probably won't be a good night because she'll be either crying, yelling at me endlessly for something silly like not putting the cap back on the toothpaste, or she'll want to just sit in bed and watch mindless tv shows.\n\nI've already spent many years with her but I am thinking it's time to let go. I have no idea how to do this in a non selfish way though since she practically relies on me for everything and without me she will have no support. Is there anyone here that has been in a similar scenario or maybe suffered debilitating depression that can comment?", "summary": "gf of 7 years has major depression. I can't take it anymore and am looking for advice on how to handle it and where to go from here while remaining supportive and not being selfish to someone I care a lot about."} {"id": "t3_2mzyki", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I can't even bare the sight my employee, need advice on how to deal with this", "post": "I manage a team of people and one of my team members is a girl who is about the same age as me, but she is incredibly quiet, but can give you attitude if point out something that she's done incorrectly. Her English isn't great, which wouldn't be a problem except for that she'll say she understands something and then not do what you've asked for. She's just generally a bit useless. \n\nShe's a hard worker, but she has the memory of a goldfish, needs constant oversight of her work for mistakes, has minimal common sense, and is completely lacking in creativity and insight.\n\nThe biggest issue though is that she creeps me out. She's always staring, but doesn't say much. I can't stand how useless she is considering she's about to turn 30. She makes my work life more difficult than it needs to be because everything she does has to be checked over.\n\nIt's gotten to the point where I can't even stand catching sight of her out of the corner of my eye because I have so much hostility towards her. I hate it when I see her name in my emails, and I get really annoyed when she messages me.\n\nI have to work with this girl so I need to find a way to deal with my feelings because my feelings towards her are stressing me out and I'm sure they don't make her feel very good either.\n\nI can't fire her, so I'm wondering if anyone has any tips to help me get over the way I feel? Please don't state the obvious and tell me I need to get over the way I feel because I already know, this is why I'm asking for help. Genuine solutions/advice on how to get past my feelings greatly appreciated.", "summary": "I can't stand my useless employee, and it's gotten to the point where I don't even want to look at her or her name. How can I deal with my feelings, so I can work harmoniously with this person?"} {"id": "t3_2qpyh1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [20 F] has a friend [19 M] staying over at her house, and this friend tried sleeping with her before.", "post": "Me (21 M) and my girlfriend (20 F) have been dating for 3 months now, and she was a virgin until I met her. Things were going great between us. \n\nOne of her friends (20 F) from Montreal is staying over at her place for the holidays, which I am cool with, until my girlfriend said that her brother (19 M) was coming too. \n\nNow here is where the story gets interesting. About a year and a half ago, that brother tried to sleep with my girlfriend (single at the time) when they were drunk one time, but my girlfriend refused. I asked her if she is cool with him staying over, and she said \"yeah, we are basically cousins. Our parents were friends before we were born and we've known each other for as long as I can remember.\" \n\nMy girlfriend told me about this incident a week after this brother was staying over at her house, and she was even thinking of not ever telling me this story. That worried me a lot. I felt that she should have told me about this incident right away, and I think that this brother still has feelings for my girlfriend. Like she said they are basically cousins, so why would he even try to sleep with her in the first place. That also bugged me. \n\nSo I got really upset when she told me this story and I am very worried that she will cheat on me, or that he will try something again. They are sleeping in the same house for 2 weeks for fucks sake. Even though she says nothing will happen, I can never be too sure. I trust my girlfriend, but I dont trust that brother. \n\nSo guys, I dont know what to do. I dont even know if I should be doing anything. I am really worried and I have this weird bad feeling in my stomach now and I know its because of this. \n\nAny advice or anything to say to me would be very helpful. Thanks", "summary": "Close friend of my girlfriend tried sleeping with her a while back, and that friend is staying over at her house for 2 weeks for the holidays. Im scared shitless"} {"id": "t3_38eohj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my gf [19 F] of 1 month. She sent pictures to other guys on multiple occasions, unsure of what to do", "post": "First off, I'd like to say that on top of her anxiety disorder, she also has separation issues, and problems with guys. We knew each other for about 2 months before we dated, but we were very close in those two months. We got into an argument, and she sent a picture of herself in underwear to a guy because she needed compliments. like I said, she has issues. She told me, and said its what she always does, but she desperately wants to change for me. we both are new to relationships so I could see where she was coming from ( I should also make it clear I see her 1-2 times a week as we are about an hour away and in school/work).\n\nAbout a month after this, I went on a camping trip for the weekend. When I got back, she told me how she was tempted to talk to guys for attention but she didn't, and how proud she was and how much she missed me. I had service for most of the trip, so every once and awhile I'd text her. a couple weeks ago, I had such burning suspicions that I went through her phone when she was sleeping. There were pictures she showed me that I had never seen, and I had to know. On her snapchat, there was 4-5 guys who had saved her pictures in chat, nudes. It was on the weekend I went camping. She straight up lied to me. She told me she was drunk, but I could tell how angry she was at herself. I told her If she ever does it again, I'm leaving her. But now every time she talks to a guy, every photo she likes, it makes me suspicious. I've lost a lot of my trust in her. I care for her immensely, more than anyone I've ever dated. And we are so alike. But I dont know how to move past this.", "summary": "GF sends pics to other guys for attention, I give her one more chance, but I need advice on what to do/ how to get past it"} {"id": "t3_306wxj", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "After 9 months of unemployment I have been offered two different jobs but I don't know what to pick. Please help a naive graduate.", "post": "I have been offered two different jobs in separate medical device companies. One job is Business Development but is basically a travelling sales job (selling lab analyzers) and the other is a Graduate program with four placements over two years.\n\nThe sales job is higher paid, with better perks (company car etc), I can work from home so I won't be paying high rent and is a permanent contract. Sales is not something that I had imagined doing in college (Majored in Biochemistry) but I think I could be good at it, however, I have heard that it is a lonely job? The company is undergoing a lot of expansion so there should be good development potential but there is a high turnover of staff and from what I have read there seems to be low morale (may not affect me if I am working from home?)\n\nThe graduate program would give me experience in a number of areas (no details yet), it has a fantastic reputation and in general people who come through it become managers within the organisation. It would be more lab based (manufacturing/QC) so probably more related to my degree but I'm not sure if I am suited to the highly regulated environment. The company is an established market leader with an excellent global reputation and treats its employees very well. \n\nThe grad program is probably the \"safer\" option but currently I am leaning towards the Sales job. Financially it is better and it also provides excellent networking opportunities but having said that it could be madness to turn down a really reputable grad program which arguably gives me better long term prospects.\n\nI'm really struggling with the decision reddit. Drop some wisdom bombs on me please. What would you pick?", "summary": "Got two job offers, one in medical device sales, the other is 4 placements spanning various areas (Manufacturing, QC, Reg Affairs etc) in a different medical device company and I can't pick."} {"id": "t3_2bhtaf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (26f) and my bf (29m) have been in a rocky relationship for quite some time. Having a hard time loving him", "post": "I apologize for any bad grammar, I am at work and doing this my phone. \n\nHere I go,\nWe have been in a relationship for 5 years, we've had our ups and downs. For the past year, we have pretty much fight almost daily. It's about the same shit, and he always starts it. I just want peace. It's really hard to deal with it considering we live together. We have no kids, and we're not engaged. \n\nI couldn't no longer stand his constant drama, so I shut myself off emotionally. \nRecently, he's realised what he's been doing for awhile. We go to couples therapy and trying to work things out.\n\nI am afraid that this isn't salvageable. But I gave him an x amount of months to fix it, with me trying to make it work. I Judy don't want to be hurt again. It it's worth it? \n\nI need to know what you think reddit. Thank you", "summary": "I don't know if I can save my 5 year relationship. I still love him but I've been hurt for a long time"} {"id": "t3_4mo6df", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [28/F] father [58/M] refuses to come to my wedding or allow my half siblings [16/F & 14/M] to attend unless I invite his new wife [42/F] who has always been horrible to me and rude to my mother.", "post": "Subject pretty much says it all. \n\nI don't want to invite my father's second wife to our small wedding, he won't allow my siblings to attend or to come himself unless I invite her. \n\nMy stepmother has made it clear from day 1 that she resents my existence and has never been nice to me and has always referred to me as 'the product of the mistake marriage'. My father has always treated his kids from their marriage better than me, but he's still my father and they are still my siblings. He is no walking me down the aisle, thankfully I have an easy out as in my fiancee's culture, it is customary for the bride/groom to walk down the aisle together to symbolise they are making the decision/entering this chapter of their lives together. \n\nPart of the reason I don't want to invite her is because I can't trust her not to say something horrible to my mother and completely ruin the day for her. The wedding is not really big enough to keep them separated and it will be hella awkward for my poor mother to have the woman my father cheated on her with hanging around all day. My stepmother has made one too many snide comments to my mother out of earshot of my father for me to be comfortable inviting her.....and of course, since she is smart enough to do them out of earshot, my father thinks we are making it up. \n\nAt the end of the day, my father is family, my siblings are family....she isn't. I feel like my mother's feelings need to matter more than my stepmohers. \n\nAnyway, I don't know what to do?", "summary": "Stepmother is rude and has never liked me much, is rude to my mother. father refuses to come or allow my siblings to come unless the stepmonster is invited. How to handle?"} {"id": "t3_4iq5nx", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Failing a college class resulting in a string of events", "post": "I'm a senior in college majoring in Biology and also an ROTC cadet. I failed my required chemistry class, which was a little unexpected for me. The thing is, I've been looking to commission as an officer my entire college career. As such, I don't have any internship experiences or don't even have a resume. My whole college career, I've been looking to commission as an officer. \n\nThe thing is, I am not the best cadet, but I've managed to get through 4 years of ROTC without getting kicked out. But because I've failed that chem class, I might not be able to make it as an officer. I already have 2 strikes for ROTC, and this would be my third strike, resulting in possible disenrollment from the program. I've been trying to get a hold of my professor, just to at least talk to her about it, but she will not answer my emails at all. She told me that she would pass me if I showed improvement in my exams, but our final was exceptionally hard. Average was 50/150 points. And I got around a 30. My other two exams before had shown improvement. My commander said that if I can somehow get that failing grade to change to a C- (which is the minimum passing grade) then it would change everything. I keep trying to contact my professor but she won't respond to anything. I don't know what I should do now.", "summary": "failed a required college class and I might be dropped from my ROTC program, which was the only thing I've been working towards my whole college life."} {"id": "t3_2el26t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my GF [21 F] telling me she was the victim of being touched, lie or truth?", "post": "GF went on a business trip 1 month ago and everything has been great/even better since she came back.\n\nLast night we opened up about our past, and it seemed to get the words flowing. She then told me that she had to tell me something that might make me angry. \n\nDuring her last business trip, a group of co-workers were all studying together in her hotel room and as it got late they left one by one until she was left with a single co-worker. \n\nShe told me that he kissed her on the lips before she could pull away, and that he touched her before she made it clear that she had a boyfriend, to which point he apologized and left.\n\nI was extremely disappointed because:\n\n* she waited a month to tell me because she didn't want me to be angry, and didn't feel there was an opportune time to tell me. I called bs on this, instead saying that she should have immediately told me. \n\n* she put herself in a position where this was allowed to happen. Why not kick him out immediately?\n\n* when I asked her where he touched her, she said she didn't want to talk about it but said it was nowhere intimate, more along the lines of forcing himself on her\n\nAt this point she apologized profusely and for at least the next 2 hours begged me not to be mad and that she did absolutely nothing with him. She felt compelled to finally talk about it because we were on the topic of infidelity.", "summary": "Did she have the right to wait this long to tell me that \"nothing happened\"? I don't buy it and am still clearing my head. Did she cheat on me, reddit?"} {"id": "t3_43xdcw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] attempting to get flesh things out with an Ex at a weird point in my life", "post": "Hey guys,\n\nThrowaway for obvious reasons. \n\nBasically, i recently rekindled a fling with an ex [21F] that I had previously dated for two years. We broke up about a year ago after things had been pretty sour for a few months beforehand. It seems pretty straightforward and we have decided that as of now we are in an exclusive relationship on campus. However, I am a second semester senior about to start a pretty demanding job in august and am worried that whatever we had is no longer as good. We also do not know if we will be in the same geographic location when I start work. Long distance didnt exactly work well for us last time we tried either. I would rather figure it out before I start this job and potentially move in with her. When we last talked I told her that I was scared that it wouldnt be the same and have voiced my concerns in an honest manner.\n\nFinally, we are super sexually compatible and sometimes its hard for me to distinguish whether I love the sex or I love her. Is it wrong for me to feel this out in an exclusive relationship with my ex to determine if whatever love we had is still there, while still keeping an open mind about other potential partners? (Read: I will not cheat or date other people so long as i am in this exclusive relationship, just keeping an open mind)", "summary": "Me and ex recently hooked up at a weird time in my life. Is exclusively hooking up with her while keeping an open mind to others (no cheating or dating while in relationship) wrong?"} {"id": "t3_14176d", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Kissing in kindergarten? What are your thoughts?", "post": "My daughter just turned 5, and is in kindergarten. The other day when I was picking her up from school, she told me that a boy in her class told her that he was \"falling in love\" with her. I had to clarify that those were his exact words, and she said yes.\n\nToday she came out and after doing our standard greeting, she said, \"GUESS WHAT? [same boy] KISSED ME TODAY!\" I looked at her and asked if she kissed him or if he kissed her, and she said that he kissed her. I asked if it was on the cheek, and she said it was on the lips. I asked if any teachers saw and she said no, that no one was looking. She wasn't distressed by it, and mentioned that now he was going to be her boyfriend, and seemed quite happy.\n\nNow, I'm torn. Part of me thinks it's cute, but a larger part of me thinking it's inappropriate. I volunteer in her classroom a lot and am quite comfortable with the teachers (and I feel they are with me, as well), and when I brought up the 'falling in love' comment, her teacher mentioned that she doesn't like how some of the kids act, but didn't say anything about my daughter. I told her today after my daughter told me about the kiss, and her teacher said she was very glad I told her and that she was going to have a boundary / relationship-type talk with the kids as part of a sexual type health unit, and was going to pull the boy aside separately and talk to him about how it's not appropriate to kiss other kids on the lips.\n\nI'm just not sure if I'm handling or responding to this in the right way. I'm not outraged, but it does weird me out, but I also think it's cute at the same time. \n\nDoes anyone have any experience with this kind of thing? I apologize if this was too long and not to the point enough.", "summary": "My 5 year old daughter was kissed on the lips in school by a boy and I don't know how to properly address the situation."} {"id": "t3_nvz93", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "[HELP] Want to become fit and stop the depression", "post": "* Hi /r/loseit, I'm making this post as motivation for myself to start the path to losing weight. I'm a male, 18 years old, 5ft 7in, and weighing in at about 180lbs now. I have always been a little overweight, recently varying around the 160-170lb mark. In the summer of '10, I began to lose weight from around the mid to high 160's and got down to around the mid 150's. That didn't last too long as I began to go off that course and back into the mid to high 160's, occasionally low 170's for brief periods of time, until I would start watching my weight again. I fluctuated around this weight for a long time, and even up until recently, as recently as mid November, I was in the 160's. The plan was to start losing the weight, and finally go into the goal weight zone I was hoping for.\n* Things somehow soon went downhill, with a combination of incredible amounts of stress, and finding relief in partying and eating as much as possible. As I reach the tipping point of 180lbs, I just continually slip into depression about my weight and lose self confidence, which was already lacking before, which just adds on top of the incredible amounts of depression and stress I have about other things. I know that 180lbs isn't exactly a huge overweight mark or life threatening, but at this point, it's one of those things that's adding to a huge pile of depression, so I just want to take a step to fix that.\n* All I really want is to start working out and get myself down to the goal of 145lbs, and fit. That's 35lbs, and gaining some muscle. I'm asking /r/loseit for just some support and tips, how to lose weight and gain some muscle. I'll start to put up some before pics soon. Thanks for reading.", "summary": "Gained ~15-20lbs in a month in depression, want to make a change. Seeking advice and workout plans."} {"id": "t3_3yc0qw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20F] boyfriend [20M] won't stop bringing up his exes.", "post": "My boyfriend of one year had an old high school friend over today and the conversation started off pretty normal (what classes are you taking, how'd you do on finals, etc.), but once the introductory part was over, my boyfriend started talking about his exes and what they were doing in college.\n\nNote: this high school friend didn't know them. My boyfriend does not keep in touch with him. I was right there, next to the two of them. \n\nMy boyfriend has a tendency to fixate on the past, and I can't help but feel like he's almost trying to brag that girls liked him. They have had NOTHING to do with us or him in years, but they still come up in conversation. We have discussed this issue and how he's handling things immaturely. I feel hurt and I don't know if this is normal or if I am allowed to feel hurt in this situation. I feel that it is one thing to bring up exes and another to bring them up when I have asked him many times not to. I have spoken extensively in the past with him about letting go of his exes and past hookups, especially since he is NC with all of them. Now, I feel like he'll never change and that he'll always be callous & immature, as this is exactly how he used to act when we first met (always bragging about attention he received from girls, and worse).", "summary": "Boyfriend continues to bring up past despite having no contact with exes. I feel hurt and his actions feel immature."} {"id": "t3_2w9ts0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[24/f]I just discovered that my Bf [27/m] of 4 years has been lying this entire time", "post": "I have no Idea what to do or how to even bring it up to him. Im not sure if I can forgive this. I love him deeply, he is my best friend as well. However we built us on a foundation of honesty, or so I believed. Now im confused and my heart is heavy. \n\nHe has a criminal history!, and it isn't a short one. In all honesty I don't care what he's done in the past. I don't judge as a rule, and the past doesn't define you but it is a part of who you are. \n\nI ran the background search for kicks, figured there's no way a website would no more about him than me. I found the website through a dear friend's blog. : mugshotsandrecords.weebly.com \n\n The report was detailed and it conflicts with a lot of what he's told me. I figured the report was bogus, it had to be so I ran another one only to get the same results. He's broken my trust in him because this makes me wonder what else he's lied about?. \n\nWhat do y'all think I should do? I love him, I really do but I don't tolerate lies. On the other hand he has told me that his past was rough, growing up in the foster system made it hard for him to open up to people. Should I just wait? If so for how long?. \n\nPlease put yourself in my shoes, what would you do?.", "summary": "My BF lied about his past, should I confront him? or wait until he brings it up on his own?."} {"id": "t3_h9t6n", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I live with my mom and hasn't paid the rent for two months, and isn't returning my calls. What should I do?", "post": "I am 19 years old and live with only my mom. When I graduated high school I decided to live from home to save money while in school. This past year (2011) she has basically been living with her father in New Hampshire (I live in Mass), a combination of working and helping him out around the house. \n\nNow my mom and I have an odd relationship. We pretty much don't speak to one another unless necessary. So she would never inform when she would and would not be home. And besides going to see her once for a weekend, I have seen her a total of maybe a week this year. \n\nNow up till now I couldn't complain about my home life since I was living alone and in a nice apartment just outside of Boston. But things started to get weird in April. The landlord knocks on my door (He lives up stairs) and tells me that the rent check has bounced. I told him I had no idea what was going on, since I didn't, and said I would tell my mom immediately. I tell her and she says 'I'll take care of it.' So I lived my life. Right before May I speak with him again, and he tells me that he still hasn't gotten any check, and that I should tell my mom. I tell her that she needs to contact him asap. She replies 'Ok.' Then may comes around and I talk to the landlord again and he says that he hasn't heard anything from my mom in weeks and neither April nor may's rent were ever got paid.\n\nNow we are both being summoned to court for eviction and I haven't been able to get in contact with my mom. My cell phone bill also has not been paid so no luck there, and we don't have a home phone. I used gmail to call her but she isn't answering. I emailed her, and I've left messages, I've also called my grandfathers house and left messages but to no avail.\n\nI really just don't know what to do. any advice reddit?", "summary": "My mom hasn't paid rent and we are getting evicted. I have not been able to get in contact with her, and am clueless as to what to do."} {"id": "t3_2n3io2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [24f] having trouble seeing girls my bf of 9 months [25m] has been with in the past.", "post": "My bf and I have been together for 9 months and things are great - we rarely get into disagreements or fights but if we do they're resolved quickly and without any dramatics. \n\nThe only thing is he works as a bartender, and has been with almost every female bartender or waitress where he works - and I have been struggling with this for a while. I know that he is with me now, and is devoted to our relationship...but I can't shake the feeling I get when I'm in a room with girls he's been with, or when I know he's at work or somewhere with a bunch of girls he's hooked up with previously. He's introduced me to them, I see them regularly, I have to hang out with them sometimes. \n\nOn the flip side, my bf only knows one ex of mine and (unbeknownst to me at the time) they dislike each other - and my bf loves to bring up that I was with this other guy in the past. I feel like if the shoe were on the other foot and I were constantly around guys from my past he wouldn't like it so much either.\n\nI want to get over it, but I can't. We were invited to his friend's party today and I knew two girls my bf had hooked up with would be there - including his ex of 3 years. I told him I wouldn't go and he got upset. How do I get over this nagging issue and move on? I don't want to be petty or jealous or vindictive - but I'm not sure what the right way to deal with this problem is.\n\nPlease help!", "summary": "My bf and I are always around girls from his past, and I can't seem to get over my resentment. He doesn't see why I have a problem - and I don't know how to resolve it."} {"id": "t3_1dh2bh", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I [21F] have a crush on a friend [27M] I have had for 5+ years.", "post": "Hi lovely people.\n\nSo I've always wondered 'what if' with this friend - he is incredibly good-looking, ambitious, active, intelligent, loves to read, loves to cook, loves to try new things, and is very considerate, sensitive and a brilliant listener. We have always had relationships going on during our friendship, and thus I had never stopped to genuinely consider him a possibility. He has been single from a 4 year relationship for around a year now. I have been single from a 1.5 year for a couple of months.\n\nI don't know how on earth to go about expressing my interest. He has always been a good friend and as a result he has heard about the multitude of relationship disasters I have had, including the times I shamefully cheated when I was very naive in my first relationships. I am fearful that he probably thinks I would be a disaster waiting to happen, because I never really showed myself in my best light during our friendship years - but at least I've always been honest. When we hang out though, and do things together, I feel we really bring out the best in each other.\n\nWe are going on what I consider to be a date in the next few weeks. We are both introverts, so I suggested rock-climbing, and it's a day before my birthday. I have an exam the day after my birthday, so this is effectively what I'm doing for it. I don't know if he considers this to be a date. I have never attempted to take a friend into dating territory; I have always just met a boy, and we've started dating. I am like a fish out of water. Can anybody share any similar experiences?", "summary": "Don't know how to express my interest to take a long-term friend out of the friend zone and get him thinking about us as a couple. Don't even know if he's in any way interested. Help appreciated x"} {"id": "t3_wkda7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A fellow intern got nearly x2 the amount of money as I did, what happened?", "post": "there are 10 high school students in my area doing an internship at a local univeristy. Im 99% sure we are funded under this: grant. \n\nToday, I got $2500 in the mail. According to the link above, I got the expected amount. On the other hand, one of my fellow interns got the \"economic need\" max amound. $4000. He told me that he does not qualify for economic need. No one filled out any paperwork or answered any questions pertaining to their economic status. What happened? How does the univeristy or the grant applicant even determine our economic standing without asking us?\n\nWe are worried that one of the 10 interns who actually qualifies for the $4000 did not receive his or her proper amount. Is this even possible? the check was addressed to each of our names and addresses from the hosting university.\n\nFurthermore, the pdf about the grant states that each intern should be paid in 2 installments. I got a single check. I'm guessing that means the 2 installments deal is a guideline?\n\nThanks for helping me out reddit. I've been a silent reader for nearly a year now and I don't know any other place to ask. clear things up for me a bit.", "summary": "Fellow intern got the \"economic need\" stipend when he does not qualify for economic need. We gave no information about our economic status. What happened?"} {"id": "t3_2cs1pk", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Interviewing for over a month for a position I just learned (during my f2f interview on Monday) had already been filled. They said they couldn't decide between our candidacies so they're looking to hire us both.", "post": "This is my first post, so I apologize if this has already been touched on. I couldn't find a similar post so here goes:\n\nI was recruited for and have been interviewing for a position for about a month. They seemed highly enthusiastic, I made myself extremely available for interviews so that they all happened in relatively rapid succession in mid July and they asked that I come in for a face to face. The job is in the Netherlands (I live in the UK) so I bought a ticket to meet the first week of August. \n\nThe interview went great. I met everyone in the small company, we got along famously... and then they mentioned that one of the guys I had just met had been hired a few weeks before and technically filled the position I had been interviewing for BUT that they had been unable to choose between the two candidacies so they were looking to hire us both.\n\nI don't know what to make of this situation. How did this guy get hired so quickly? Does this mean I will be considered expendable if the company realizes an extra person is unnecessary? Most importantly, should I email the interviewer and vocalize my concerns? If so, how should I phrase it?\n\nIt's worth noting that at the start of all this, they emphasized that they needed someone who spoke French (this guy doesn't, but I do) and that they were interested in branching out into social media if I would be interested in taking on the challenge (but in the f2f interview, I was told there was already someone who did that and \"maybe I could help him\"). I don't have loads of experience in the working world yet and I tend to just be grateful someone wants to hire me, but now I'm afraid I'm being scammed or led on (or maybe I'm just overthinking it and being excessively paranoid)...", "summary": "Interviewing for a position that I found out in my face to face interview had already been filled but they want to hire me too. I am concerned I will be expendable. Also noticed other inconsistencies with the job responsibilities."} {"id": "t3_3lr6lw", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Can two corporations/company exist with the same name? ( Concerns in legal embroideries )", "post": "I have recently started some research about establishing a small company. I'd like to produce apparel. I was wondering if two companies with the same name co-exist. When I am talking about company name, I do not mean a company's name in paper, but rather what I can embroider on my products. \n\n1. For example,can a company, which makes clothing co-exists with another company, while both companies have the same name.\n\n2. A company (one) which produces apparel which does not compare to the other company (two). one produces bags, gloves, jackets. two produces summer items such as shirts, polos, and shorts.\n\nTo my knowledge the company that was created first, and is financially strong can claim a dispute with the new company that has been established. What is the name was the same, but logos different? Would it matter? When I mean company name, I do not mean a holding company, but rather what is embroidered into the products. \n\n This is a vague example, but can I embroider the name \"THUNDER\" and picture : just as how polo embroiders their player and horse with name. Furthermore another company has the word \"THUNDER\" embroidered, but with a different picture. Can I legally do that? \n\nThere is quite a difference between polo and polo assn. The horse, the players and the name. Although it does somewhat relate to what I am facing. \"POLO\" is in both shirts, but both are for different companies. \nPOLO VS POLO ASSN", "summary": "Is it legal for me to create a create a shirt with the same word as another company. This word is different in font and is a different picture, but the word represents the company."} {"id": "t3_2gmqma", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I like my friend but she's in a long term relationship with someone twice her age..", "post": "There's not much advice anyone can give me but I wanted to rant, I guess. I'm not going to be that guy and try to ruin their relationship by confessing my feelings or anything, but it really bums me out because I feel like the guy is using her. \n\nI met Claire about four years ago in high school, and we pretty much have been best friends since then. She had a boyfriend each time I wanted to ask her out, so I never got the chance to make a move. She has told me I was cute and she would date me if she were single, but that scenario never occurred because timing and such. \n\nFast forward and Claire meets this guy, John, who is like 42 years old. I was kinda surprised, but I didn't really judge her. Who I'm judging is John because I feel like it's kinda weird to date someone so young, but that's just me. He also has a kid close to our age. Anyway, she talks to me about him a lot and about their issues, and I think he's using her for sex. She wants to marry him, but he doesn't seem like he'll ever pop the question. She tells me how he chooses to ignore her a lot (he won't reply to her texts or return phone calls), throws temper tantrums, and hangs out with women Claire isn't comfortable with him being around, etc. They've been together for 2 years.\n\nI don't know. It sucks because she's like that one person I relate to the most. She just happens to be with someone else. I've dated girls, and I'm not waiting for Claire, but I still think of her. I just wish I could have a chance. That's life though, right?", "summary": "my friend is with a guy twice her age, and I feel like he's just using her. Just felt like ranting about how I'll never get a chance with her."} {"id": "t3_13j24d", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the worst situation you've been in over which you've had no control? I'll start.", "post": "During my Freshman year of college, I was rooming with a guy who I kind of knew before school (we'll call him Joe), and our roommateship mostly worked out (no longer roomies because of a money dispute) for the best. His girlfriend (we'll call her Victoria) was coming to town and he asked if I and my girlfriend wanted to go on a date. Now, I didn't like Victoria at all and I wasn't feeling that great either, but I agreed to go because Joe didn't normally ask those things, and I thought it could be fun.\n\nCue normal double date things, like the mall, restaurant, etc. While we're at the restaurant (Steak and Shake ftw), I offhandedly said an inside joke to Joe, and his girlfriend starts getting prissy about it. They're almost sarcastically fighting while we're eating dinner, and it's obvious. I'm sweating bullets and my girlfriend feels just as awkward. When we head back to school, Victoria (who was driving) continues to yell at Joe. It gets really weird for my girlfriend and me, and I am feeling progressively more ill, on the side of diarrheal explosion.\n\nIt really only gets worse from here. While we were driving up a hill, Victoria's car stalls and she has to pull off to the side of the road. I don't go to school in the best neighborhood ever, and it's about 11:30pm (23:30). Joe and Victoria both get out of the car and start screaming at each other on the side of the road. My girlfriend is crying on me because they're mad at each other, and my bowels are knocking on my metaphorical anal door like a Jehovah's witness.\n\nVery very fortunately, I held it, but I swear, their 5 minute shoutfest lasted 11 hours for me.", "summary": "Out with my roommate, his date and my date. Next, I'm in the back seat of a car, filled with feces, smothered in tears and people are shouting."} {"id": "t3_1c6lia", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "How I fight hunger cravings.", "post": "Aside from the standard stuff I've seen around here, like drinking water or filling up on really dense/low calorie food, I've realized a method that works for me to avoid feeling hunger pangs.\n\nI noticed that during the week, when I'm watching TV or browsing reddit, I tend to get hungrier more often. I just want to eat when I know I shouldn't. But on the weekends I eat less than I usually do and don't seem to get hungry. I still browse the internet and watch TV probably a similar amount, but it's when I have free time and when I also do something else: play videogames.\n\nSomething about focusing or getting entirely absorbed in a good game somehow gets me through a whole day, almost forgetting to eat. I've experienced the same thing when reading or writing something, anything that gets me to focus all of my attention on it.", "summary": "buy and play/read/enjoy good game/book/hobby (mine was Bioshock), forget you're hungry."} {"id": "t3_101kja", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm being harassed over the phone by collectors looking for someone who's not me. What do I do?", "post": "Reddit, for months now I have received calls from different companies looking for a \"Kimberly Doyle,\" I have no idea who this woman is. I am a 19 year old male. These are all loan companies, and I get the impression that they are the kind of shady loan companies that appear in pop up ads. The only name I can recall is \"Bill Me Later\" or something like that. \n\nAt first, it would be a call a week. Lately, I've been getting upwards of 15 calls a day, all from different companies, asking me for Kimberly Doyle. Clearly she is signing up for loans and putting my number down. I thought it was funny at first, but now it's extremely frustrating and I feel like I'm being harassed. I have NO IDEA what to do here though! Call the police? Is there a way to make this stop?\n\nI tell every company that calls that I want to be taken off the call list, but many just keep calling, or if they don't there's always a new company that springs up and calls. I can't understand what any of the companies are anymore, most of the callers don't speak English well.", "summary": "Shady loan companies are calling me 15 times a day thinking I'm someone I'm not, how do I make this stop?"} {"id": "t3_1cyp7d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Birthday Etiquette: Celebrating my 30th birthday big on another friend's birthday, he wants to bring people and jump on the train last minute after all the work was done already.", "post": "*Solved - Just spoke with Bertram and told him that due to setting up I can't come to his event. Then went on and mentioned how much time and effort Albert and I put into this, yadayada. He then said he's looking forward to coming after his dinner and together with his friends... So I said simply that due to the limited space in the location we booked and insurance reasons, I'd appreciate if he wouldn't bring the whole crowd of his event, especially strangers, to our party. He said that he'd be happy to pay a part of the location cost but I repeated that there isn't enough space. So as a compromise I said that if he still wanted to come, he'd be a \"VIP\" and could bring 5 people as opposed to everyone else who can only bring a date. He said he'd think about it but let it be known that he might not be coming then at all. So he still didn't get the whole idea of me not wanting him to hogg the party for his own purposes but at least he now knows he can't just turn up there with 15 of his friends and think we created the event for him.*\n\n*Thanks for you help!*\n\nAges: Albert 30, Me 30, Betram 33\nLenght of relationship: Albert 1 year, Bertram 6 years.", "summary": "How do I tell my friend on whose birthday I'm celebrating my long planned 30th birthday, politely that he can't jump on the bandwagon last minute?"} {"id": "t3_hzk17", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Reddit, have you ever had to give up a pet?", "post": "Hey Reddit,\n\nSo a little background: I have a parrotlet named Cielo and I've had him since he was 5 weeks old. He's 11 months old now, and recently started talking and can say, \"Kisses!\", \"Step up!\", and \"Hey, bird!\".\n\nIt goes without saying that we share a special bond; I love my little guy!\n\nThe trouble is, however, I'm a recent college graduate. I haven't been able to find any jobs or internships in the area and plan on moving wherever I find one. It'd be difficult to take little Cielo with me because it's at least $100 to fly him with me one way, don't have a car, and plan on moving wherever I can find a job. And there, the worry is whether I can find a place that would allow pets.\n\nHaving him during the year was a bit difficult, too, and I often gave up precious study time to come home and take him out of the cage to play.\n\nI feel like at this life stage, I'm not exactly ready to have a pet. I feel that I *should* give him to a family so that he could have a more stable life (not that I don't take great care of him!) and also \n\nBut at the same time, I feel that I know him best and would love him best (cliche, I know). He's also bonded to me, so I'm wondering how it would affect him.\n\nIn an ideal situation, I could find a fellow bird-lover who's experienced with parrots and is willing to take another bird under his wing. So far, I've had no luck finding anyone :(\n\nSo what should I do, Reddit? To be completely honest, I don't feel as though I have the time to devote to a pet and would love to find him a happy new home. I think I'd just have trouble letting go and believing that others would take care of him as well as I did.\n\nWhat's your opinion of the situation? Have you ever had any similar experiences?", "summary": "Life circumstances are giving me doubts about my ability to keep my bird. What should I do? What are your opinions/experiences?"} {"id": "t3_14gurg", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Petty revenge on classmates in high school", "post": "So years ago when I was in grade 10 of high school, I had a group project to work on with 3 other classmates. We were supposed to do a book report presentation as a group. Well, being known for being a procrastinator, I was given the lightest load of work; pick out 20 words that you didn't know in the book and find out their meaning. There was some other criteria for those words, but I can't remember. In any case, I emailed the words to the \"group leader\", a girl we'll call Amy. Nothing happens, everything seems all right, until the day before the presentation. Amy claims I sent her incomplete work. As I had a bad reputation for getting work done, nobody questioned her when I said she made it up. The teacher however, was so impressed with my knowledge of the book (a prayer for owen meany), that she knew something was up. I explained my end of things, and showed her the email where I sent said words. The teacher decided that Amy had it out for me, so she worked out a deal with me. I would be graded based upon my knowledge with the book. I ended up getting a B- on the project, but I was to tell my group I failed. So after the presentation of said project, I told my group that I had failed. As for their marks? My group got c's (varying), because of a poor understanding of the book. My revenge was petty and unknown, but satisfying.", "summary": "Book group member in high school tries to screw me over, and I end up getting a better grade than my group."} {"id": "t3_3x2zun", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Currently off work but want to go to Office Party - boss not being helpful in aiding my return to work prior to the party. Should I still go?", "post": "Throwaway because you never know who is on reddit.\n\nSo basically, I've been signed off work by my GP due to stress from work as a result of bullying and harassment in the workplace by a colleague. I'm currently in correspondence with my line manager about how to resolve the situation informally (rather than going through formal grievance procedures) but they seem to be dragging their feet and taking forever to reply to each email (I could ring, but I'm keen to get everything documented in writing in case there are any future incidents).\n\nAnyway, I am really eager to get back to work as I've been off for a week and a half now, but am refusing to go back in on health and safety grounds until measures are put in place to ensure my safe working environment prior to my return. So, I've basically told my line manager that I feel ready and able to return to work as soon as they can provide written assurances that the situation will be dealt with appropriately to ensure the bullying and harassment stops. However, they seem to be pussyfooting around the issue and aren't giving me direct answers no matter how direct I am in asking for them.\n\nI don't feel the situation will be dealt with before the week is out, despite my best efforts to return to work and assurances that I am ready and willing to do so, and the office party is on Friday, which I have been looking forward to for months, and was generally really excited for.\n\nSo, do you all think it would look really bad if I went to the office party, despite not returning to work in the week if the situation is not resolved? My gut feeling is that I shouldn't go, as it won't reflect on me terribly well, but then again, I have indicated I feel fit to return to work if they hurry up and resolve the matter.\n\nI hope the above makes sense!", "summary": "Off work due to stress, feel ready to go back to work but boss is dragging their feet to make it possible for me to return to work - will it look bad if I go to the office party before returning to work?"} {"id": "t3_wehtt", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Question about knee pain at beginning of run", "post": "I've been runnning for about 6 months now, have done a few 5ks and two 10ks (30min 5s, and about 1hr 10a). I've never had much access to professionals or other knowledgeable runners so I've come to my fellow runners for assistance. My knees (more specifically left more so that right) hurts for about the first minuet or two of a run, as in when I am warming up. After a very short while it does go away (usually about a city block or two). It feel like mainly the tendon that sits on the kneecap in the front and runs to shin (Patellar Tendon), feels like its tight.\n\nMy question is, is this ok or normal? I don't feel overly concerned but then again I've never received proper or professional training tips so for all i know its a big issue. Any advice if its abnormal or dangerous?", "summary": "My Patellar Tendon is tight for first 2 blocks or minuets of my run, is this normal or ok? Or should I change up how I'm doing things?"} {"id": "t3_fpkae", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I obligated to respond?", "post": "I was dating this girl very casually in November/December. She's 23, I'm 26. It kind of died off on its own, though since then we hooked up once, which was last weekend. \n\nIn the month or so between our 3 or 4 dates and the hook-up, she slept with her ex-boyfriend once, which is of course fine; I'm not interested in dating this girl, and after we hooked up last week I realized immediately that we wouldn't do it again. \n\nHere's the thing: she's been emailing me a lot, asking to hang out, etc. I've been politely saying I'm too busy (which happens to be true), hoping she'll get the hint. Then last night, she sends me an email where she's just *wasted*, talking about how her bday is on Thursday and the anniversary of her father's death was two days ago, and basically all this stuff that I would probably need to be with her there for if we were in any way dating. \n\nBut we're not. But she's clearly sad (according to this email at least), and going through some stuff. I don't want to just ignore her, but I don't want to get involved in a way that seems like I'm interested in her. And to be honest, and I don't mean to be a jerk, but I'm not really interested in being friends, either. I'm super busy with work and we both have separate groups of friends anyway. What do?", "summary": "Girl I went on some dates with sent me a drunk email about some shit she's going through. Don't want to be cold but don't want to give her the wrong idea."} {"id": "t3_1d6afp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I prepare for shrooms?", "post": "Edit~This is not a joke, I am simply looking for help, I understand on reddit everything can be a joke to some people. (ik edits are supposed to be at the bottom)\n\nA little background information first, I am thinking of taking them with my closest group of friends (all male, as am I) 5 including myself, 3/5 have had a single experience with them and all 5 of us are thinking about doing them in a couple months or something. We will be at my friends house with no parents under the supervision of his older brother who has had 6 years of consistant (consistant as in taking them, not as in an addictive like way) psychedelic drug usage who has sat for people before. He knows how to set up the right environment for this \"event\".\n\nNow a little about myself. The only psychedelic drug experience i've had is that im the once a week or two smoker. I had minor depression as far as just being sad mood for no reason, that problem lasted a few years then went away. I currently have anxiety problems, these anxiety problems show up sometimes in social situations, in a large group of people, speaking in front of people, new experiences and general situations. These are all minor but can easily be triggered, and possibly made worse. Back in third grade through the middle of sixth these problems were much worse, to a point where i could not stay in class. I also have ADD. All of these problems are genetic.\n\nFrom what i've heard and did a little background information about if you're not in the right place (not my concern) and the right mindset you can have a bad trip and possibly leave a bad effect or something after the fact.\n\nAs well i heard your insecurities can also possible give you a bad trip and they can all come out during your trip. All of my anxieties were based around being insecure about myself.\n\nAlso I am 16", "summary": "Anxiety problems because of insecurities (can cause a bad trip), history of minor depression, and ADD (on adderall if you cant tell from the block of text), all genetic."} {"id": "t3_4a8pt7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by using another company's restroom", "post": "Backgrounder: In our country, you'll often see signs in the toilet warning you not to throw pads, tampons, toilet paper, etc. in the bowl. This is because some people go crazy with the TP and end up clogging the bowl.\n\nAnyways, so I was waiting to pick up something from another company's office when I really needed to pee. While I was waiting, I went to their bathroom and did my business. I noticed the multiple signs saying, \"Don't throw your TP down the toilet\" but I didn't really pay much attention since I was just doing the #1 and wouldn't be using that much TP anyways (I've had no problems doing this in the past).\n\nSo I ended up using about 5 squares of regular, 2-ply TP so I figured that it wasn't much and I was sure it would go down. In the first flush, some of the paper went down but there was still some left so I decided to try to flush again. I realize now that I failed to notice that the water didn't go down the first time. So now panic starts to set in as I see the water rising and I'm trying to keep calm and quiet (thankfully I was the only one in the 2-cubicle bathroom) and some of the water overflows.\n\nNow I'm full on panic mode because I didn't want to ask for help and be ridiculed because I didn't follow the multiple signs, so I just start using their precious TP (this company even had signs recommending to limit how many squares of TP to use) to wipe up the spill. In my desperation I also reached in and fished out the TP that wouldn't go down and threw that in the wastebin just to hide what happened. Don't worry, I scrubbed, washed, and disinfected my hands very thoroughly after.", "summary": "I peed in another company's bathroom and fished out used TP from the bowl just to save myself from embarrassment."} {"id": "t3_433wc3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22M] want to ask this girl [~20] out that I've never spoken to (we've just seen each other around) and I feel like the only way I can is to be very forward, which I don't like.", "post": "Okay, so this girl and I are students at ~50,000 student University. We've never spoken before and have no classes together. We have ran into each other a couple of times and that is it. But each time we've ran into each I felt like there was this vibe between us that we were both picking up on. Other than that, there is no background, we are complete strangers to each other. I find her very attractive and would like to get to know her. \n\nBeing a large University you see new people every day and people you've seen before you never see again. So thats where I'm at. It's lucky enough to have ran into this girl a couple of times. So the next time I see her should I just introduce myself, make small talk, and risk never seeing her again? Or should I just go for it and ask her out? I feel like the latter is the right choice, but I don't know how to do it without coming off too forward.", "summary": "I want to ask out this girl and I feel like the only way is to be more forward than I am comfortable with. How should I do it without coming on too strong?"} {"id": "t3_227pqt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (27f) with my mother (53f) and her abusive partner (55m). They have reconciled and want us to accept it. Advice please!", "post": "Last Christmas, my family found out that my mom's partner had been physically abusing her for years. We found out when she called the cops on him after he viciously attacked her and my brother (22m) and fled to my aunt's. It was quite traumatic for all of us, as we had accepted this man as family. \n\nSince then, they have reconciled. None of us wants anything to do with the man or to offer any endorsement of this reconciliation. She is pressuring us to invite him to family events and wants to host a big \"family\" Easter. Our relationship has pretty much disintegrated in the last year (particularly as he attacked my brother again since then).\n\nSo my question...do I suck it up and attend events being aloof but polite to make my mom happy and not do further damage to our relationship? Or is acceptable to continue avoiding the situation? (Bonus points if you have advice on whether I need to extend a wedding invitation to him).", "summary": "Mom's partner abuses her and attacked my brother. Do I need to have anything to do with him now that they've reconciled?"} {"id": "t3_1tl5vw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my \"girlfriend\" [17 F] trying to find out what the hell is going on", "post": "Ok so I have been \"dating\" this girl L for about 3 weeks. We have been hanging out we went to see a dance recital watched movies and just general hanging out stuff. However I have no idea what i'm doing and thus i'm not sure if this is actually a relationship. Or how to make it an official one without being insanely awkward.\n\nWhy can't I tell? \n\nTo summarize last year she got asked to prom with some guy she barley knew so we ended up hanging out at after prom then hanging out and wandering the town until 3AM. During this time I had opened up about my depression(I had burns on my arms) which stemmed largely in part about me being confused about my sexuality.\n\nSo now i'm wondering if all this hanging out just makes me her \"gay friend\" or if we are unofficially dating, And what I should do in either situation?", "summary": "In a \"relationship\" trying to make it official, but I have no idea what i'm doing and am hoping i'm not just her \"gay friend\"."} {"id": "t3_2n4vdp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [28F] am sick of my boyfriend's [30M] childish hobbies", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, but I'm becoming tired of his childish hobbies. Two days ago he spent over $100 on these Nintendo toys and game, but this isn't the worst part. He has a \"toy room\" and it's lined with *very expensive* action figures from video games, Legos and cartoons, some that I consider quite lewd for someone in a relationship. All together I'm pretty sure he's spent thousands of dollars all together in that room, not including his video game collection. Over this past month he probably brought 8 different games for his Playstation and I think that was overboard. \n\nI recently invited some out of town friends over for dinner and she accidentally walked into his \"toy room\" and I she also agreed that this is pretty embarrassing for someone that's an adult. He makes decent money, a lot more than me but I think it's time for him to give up and sell these things so he can finally move on and become an adult with me. It'd be shameful to have a my parents see this too, especially when we get engaged soon\n\nHow should I approach this /r/relationships?", "summary": "My boyfriend has spent too much time and money on collecting toys and video games, how can I tell him it's time to stop?"} {"id": "t3_4zrk96", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Thinking about going back with my ex.", "post": "I am a 19 years old guy, about a year ago I meet this awesome girl (18 years old ) and we became friends. We hangout a lot, talked (deep conversation) and we did everything together. we basically became best friends.\n\nOne day we got some great news about the result of a test she took (for universities) and she was happy she hugged me and said \"I love you\" and I said that same. that night we talked about making it official that we start dating.\n\nwhile dating things were awesome and every thing was perfect until we had to break up cause her family didnt like me. even tho we broke up, we did talk from time to time and she would say she missed me and one time we actually kissed.\n\nAfter that communication between us stopped. than we meet 2 months after that and we talked and she said she didnt care much about me anymore and that it was my fault we broke up. I felt bad and I left. this was before sumer.\n\nNow summer ended i will probably meet her again and i want talk to her and tell her that i miss her and i want her back. what do you think", "summary": "best friend then we dated. broke up and she said she doesn't care about me anymore. I really want her back."} {"id": "t3_vf4wp", "subreddit": "books", "title": "Hey Reddit, I need help finding a book I read once but don't know the title of.", "post": "I'm not sure that anyone has read this book, but I would really love some help finding it at least. Google hasn't been very helpful. Here's what I remember of it:\nThere was a young boy (prince maybe?) And this city that glowed silver and people in the kingdom where this kid lived (if they were lucky) would just wake up with all of their ailments healed, and be glowing, and it would mean that they got to live in this city and be immortal and rich and stuff. The city fell, and the people who lived there had to scavenge for food, and the silver glow on the city turned to a kind of slimy coating on everything. People who got chosen to go to the city now turned all blochy and their hair fell out; they would be disowned and hrown into the crumbling ruins of the city. The people were still immortal, but they didn't heal anymore, so if they stubbed their toe, they had to deal with that pain forever, so needless to say, a bunch of people went crazy pretty quickly. I don't remember the middle much, but in the end this retarded boy from the kingdom (whose parents hid hid him instead of banshin him) who remembered the exact number of feet between various places helped the prince kid figure something out, the people in the city could do magic/teleporting again, and the kid became super smart. An old librarian and a magic book may or may not have been present. Possibly also a princess.", "summary": "Glowing city full of immortal people, city falls, stubbed toe=eternal torture, kid and prince and librarian dude save the day w/teleporting or something similar, need help finding book."} {"id": "t3_2jkgds", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [16 M], and is this girl [16 F] hinting something?", "post": "This question is mainly for women, but that doesn't mean men can't answer.\n\nI'm 16, so like most teenage boys, I'm pretty oblivious to girls hints and ques. There's this girl that I've been crushing on for a while now and we have been decent friends, recently becoming better friends. We have a lot in common and we talk in class everyday.\n\nOn Fridays I walk the same way as she walks home, as I go somewhere aside from home on Fridays. We walk about 4 blocks before we split up and say good bye, see you Monday, etc.\n\nWell this time as we were walking there was a pause in conversation and she sighed very deeply and then said \"I have no idea what I'm gunna do this weekend.\" It wasn't until after we said bye to each other that I considered MAYBE it was a hint that she wanted me to ask her out?\n\nSo I would appreciate it if you could help me, do you think she was hinting at it or no?\n\nObviously not all women are alike, but I'm sure a women's opinion would probably be more accurate.", "summary": "Girl sighed and said \"I have no idea what I'm gunna do this weekend\" during a conversation just between us, do you think its a hint?"} {"id": "t3_2az1i4", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Excited or Submissive urination?", "post": "My 7 month old pomeranian is developing a new habit. He has learned pretty well so far to \"hold it\" while in his crate (we are crate training). At night, when we sleep he is in his crate for roughly 8 hours. During the workday, he is in his crate between 8-12 and 1-4 and outside his crate until he goes to sleep.\n\nWhen I come down in the morning to take him outside, he whines and rattles the crate door, as if he cant wait a second longer to get out. In the process of opening his crate, he dribbles a little bit. This is something he did before.\n\nHe also exhibits the same behavior when I come home at 12 to take him out. Even though hes only been holding it for 4 hours, he dribbles a little bit in his crate, or right outside his crate.\n\nHe does not exhibit this same behavior with my wife, he has no problem holding it until she is able to take him outside.\n\nHe does not urinate while we are playing or when I greet him when he's already outside his crate. Not sure what is going on, but its becoming increasingly frustrating.", "summary": "Puppy urinates when I let him out of his crate to take him outside. He holds it when my wife takes him out. Cant tell if its excited or submissive urination."} {"id": "t3_3dg369", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "My (f24) second date with a guy (28) ended incredibly confusing. Was I too much?", "post": "Hey everyone! So I met this wonderfully nice guy online. We talked for weeks (both online and phone calls) before deciding to finally meet. Our first date was pretty casual, we both had a drink at a blues bistro and ended the night with a hug. He even called me as soon as we got home and we talked for even longer. We were so excited about the date that we agreed to meet up again the following night. He's busy with an intense program at the moment, so he could only meet up for a couple of hours. He asked to come over which I was excited about. So he does and it starts off great, I make us tea, we talk. We then start to cuddle and that's when things get weird. We spoke the night before about how he wanted to kiss me and that I noticed but I wanted to wait until next time. So as we were cuddling I gradually kept making more and more moves initiating a kiss but he was so frigid and distant. I kept asking if everything was alright and whether I had overstepped and boundaries and he kept saying no. So when we finally kissed it was as if I had forced him into it, so much so that now I was uncomfortable for him. So I backed off and asked again if he was ok and he mentioned not wanting things to go to where they were headed (sex) which I had no intention of. But I guess the cuddling and kiss were too much for him. That night was two days ago and I haven't heard from him since (odd for him since he used to text me everyday). I'm just wondering whether to give him space and let him come talk it out whenever he's ready or confront him about it as soon as possible?", "summary": "I met an amazing guy. First date was incredible. Second date was awkward with miscommunication and possibility of me pushing on to him too quickly."} {"id": "t3_40r3m4", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by getting the mail", "post": "I should start out by first mentioning that I'm living in an apartment complex and have never gotten packages delivered here before so I don't know how the whole system works for packages.\n\nSo I was expecting two packages to be delivered, one box with shoes and another box with a phone case for my new phone. I get a text message saying one of my packages were delivered, cool yay!\nSo I open the door and don't see anything on the porch so i go to our mailbox which isn't really large enough for the boxes and get the mail. \n\nWhen I'm getting the mail I see two sets of keys and both have tags saying that they keys are property of post office and if found return by dropping into a mailbox. So my first thought is \n\"Oh, the mailman must have accidentally left these in my box and is probably looking for them! Better drop it into the mailbox slot below\" (there's an outgoing mailbox below my box).\n\nBut before I do that, my curiosity gets the best of me and I try sticking the keys into these larger boxes below mine and the key fits! I don't turn it though because I don't want to be caught tampering with other people's mail and I sated my curiosity for where the keys went already. I mindlessly drop both keys into the outgoing mail box slot and then 2 seconds later it hits me...\nthose keys were for me to open those larger *PACKAGE SIZED* boxes so I could retrieve my packages...", "summary": "Mailman left me keys to retrieve my packages, I thought he forgot them in my mailbox and returned them without taking my packages"} {"id": "t3_v3p6a", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Please advice, and more of it!", "post": "Ive spent a couple years in college since graduating high school, but I haven't accomplished anything. I had always wanted to take a year off, but was too afraid to. \n\nThis last semester I had a little meltdown and dropped out mid way through. I've known the whole time what I want to major in, and am now transferring to a university (was a community college) to pursue a BS in applied physics, but I never applied myself while at the community college and after 6 full term semesters have roughly 40 credits and a hair short of a gpa of 2.0\n\nNow my parents who had been paying for my community college tuition want to actually see my grades, but they're terrible and they don't know about me dropping mid term this last semester, I feel like lying and forging my transcript so it's not as bad ( they know I've done poorly and am depressed about it) but I feel like being irresponsible is what got me into a depressed funk... I'm afraid of the ensuing fallout when they find out though, they had been pushing for me to take time off and are against (not unsupportive ) me continuing to try...", "summary": "poorly applied myself in community college leading to depression which made applying harder now trying to improve myself to prevent depression but have family wanting to know the truth on my very poor (mostly) grades over the past 3 yrs"} {"id": "t3_16ddiw", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "(F21)(M26) Amazing connection and yet she has a boyfriend, what to do?", "post": "Long ago I met this girl and instantly knew something was special about her. We work at a grocery store and go to the same college. We would talk when we saw each other at work, and later down the line I ran into her at school. Got her number and talked with increasing frequency as time went on. I actually thought she was single since she never mentioned a boyfriend and tried for a while to get her to see a movie in which she said yes, but we never went. Now for months we have texted back and fourth for hours nearly every day... there is a huge connection there that is rather striking. Now here's the thing, shes very loyal and has a boyfriend who goes to school far away and won't be back for years. I don't want to interfere with her relationship yet I don't want to stop talking to her, and I'm sure she feels the same way. We talk, we flirt, but we don't really cross lines? She has expressed meeting up for stuff as have I. However I think she just always bails at the last second. We can talk for all day and all night, but seeing me in person may not be a good idea to her?. Her relationship with the guy isn't even that great and who knows what hes doing where he is. Yet she clearly shows that remaining loyal is important to her. Even if I stopped talking to her, she would be hurt, vice versa. It's just that its really starting to get to me. I have an amazing feeling about her, I'm just not sure what to do. I can almost say with certainty that she doesn't know either.", "summary": "What should be the start of a love story, has turned into she has a boyfriend and no one knows what to do."} {"id": "t3_53g1t7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my parents [60s M/F], disagreement because of a trip to Italy", "post": "First of all, English is not my native language. Sorry for any grammar mistakes.\n\nI will travel with my parents to Italy in some months. They know that I'm a huge gearhead, and I love cars. So, I got all excited and I told my parents more than once that I wanted to go to at least one car museum or something like that, because of all the Italian classic cars and supercars. They didn't oppose on that, so I thought I was going to fulfill my passion. Last week, they purchased the trip in a travel agency. When my father met me later that day, he told me that they sealed the deal, but they bought a travel package that didn't include anything related to cars. I was really disappointed. He told me that I'll have to wait until the next time we go to Italy (mind you that this is a very expensive trip, and I don't expect to go back to Italy in the next 10 years or so). I told my mother that I was frustrated about that and she started screaming at me, saying things like \"they won't give us a full refund if we cancel your package\" and \"your friends wish they had this opportunity to go to Italy\". They didn't talk to me before they sealed the deal with the travel agency, which I think it was wrong. Some days have passed and I'm still very angry about the whole situation. I didn't open up about this to anyone, so I don't know if I'm just being a spoiled brat (because I know that I'm complaining about a very expensive trip) or if my parents fucked up (because I feel they didn't care about what I wanted).", "summary": "My parents purchased a trip to Italy and they didn't take my wishes in account when they sealed the deal. Am I just being a spoiled brat or did they fuck up?"} {"id": "t3_uvc7u", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How and when should I tell my parents I do not believe in what they believe in?", "post": "I live in the states, and I am 16. My parents are from Ghana, Africa and are very strict christians. I am an atheist and I have to attend church 3 days a week, which is interfering with my homework and social life. I'd like to be able to not attend and do what I need to do throughout the week.\n\nMy parents also want me to go to a University, but don't want to pay for it at all. I've decided I most likely will not go to college due to tuition costs. My parents would be against this because they come from poor families and have worked hard for everything they have. They believe essentially that no matter what the cost a good education will bring in lots of money and make me happy. I do not agree with this at all.\n\nI don't have any fear of ex-communication at all if you're considering it. My dad has essentially had kids to keep my mom from divorcing him, and my mom isn't any better.\n\nSo how and when should I go about telling them this?\n\nShould I even tell them seeing since I'm moving out in 2 years anyhow?", "summary": "My parents and I have conflicting views. How should I tell them that our views do not agree and keep from the requirements they have set up for me?"} {"id": "t3_4rm0ut", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20F] gave him [24?M] my number, is that showing enough interest?", "post": "I feel stupid for asking for advice on something that should be common sense. \nAs of 3 months ago, I live in a huge 4 story shared house that I found off Craigslist. There are over 10 residents, some of which I haven't seen much of or interacted with.\n\n Early last month, I was sick and bumped into this guy that has lived there for a couple years. I didn't really see him around before that. He struck up a conversation, started as small talk and I got shy (my shyness sometimes comes off as unwelcoming) and made an excuse to leave.\nWe had a similar exchange the next day. The 3rd day, we talked longer. I moved into a different room, he followed. We talked about how we both loved to walk and he was asked if we could walk together sometime, I said yes and asked about his schedule but we never made plans. Since then, I haven't really seen much of him.\n\nAfter like a week of not talking or running into him, the 25th, I was out and came home at 11ish. He was hanging out on the couch when I got in. He asked me if I went to the festival that was going on that day and I said yes. He told me he was there too and I said it was a bummer I didn't see him. He asked if I would be going the following day and I should take his number if I was. I told him I was definitely not going because I had work, but that he could have my number anyways. I sent him a text through my phone so he had my number then we said good night.\n\nHe hasn't really spoken to me since then. Yesterday I ran into him as I was leaving, he asked where I was headed and I told him I was on the phone and he was like \"oh sorry I will leave you alone now\".\nDo you think I made it clear I was interested? Is it my turn to make a move? Or do you think he just lost interest? Normally, I would shamelessly pursue a guy, even despite being painfully shy, but the fact he lives with me makes me hesistant to make a fool out of myself.", "summary": "I am not sure if my housemate likes me, but I gave him my number, should I make a move?"} {"id": "t3_2p4apx", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should i change degrees?", "post": "Hello all so a bit of backstory; i'm 22 years old currently working full time as a Kitchen Porter/Commi chef, i'm also in 2nd year of a Software Development course slowly letting it all fail. \nI've lived by myself in a flat but had to move back home because i couldn't find a job where i was at. Me and brother live and look after ourselves (our parents are only back home for a month in a year). \n\nI was studying to be an accountant but hated that, so i tried to pick something i was interested in. I enjoyed working on games, and working with people. But once i hit 2nd year i just couldn't find the time to work on stuff properly, i needed the money badly. So i'm in the midst of resitting the module i failed, watching it fail again. \n\nMy coursework will be late, i'm pretty certain i can pass the exam in a month but my coursework i find just to difficult to wing it.\n\nI've fucked up i know and haven't found the time to work on my coursework, i could blame the crazy 12+hour shifts but i know other people work much longer then me and find the time to do many many things. \n\nI'm honestly scared because i'm 22, i don't know what the fuck it is i'm meant to do. I hate working in a kitchen but it pays the bills, but i think if i'm to be successful in this degree (if i get a chance to resit it in August)\n\nI might be able to get a resit in August but i'm just scared i'm not where i should be at 22, and i don't know who to talk to,letting everyone down.", "summary": "Fucked up again, cant find time to do things whilst working i job i hate, don't know what to do"} {"id": "t3_20pp8s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] w boyfriend [29M] duratio 9 months, his mom died last week and he feels guilty, sad, helpless", "post": "My boyfriend, whom I love very much and feel very close to and envision a future with, is from a very distant country. He's in his penultimate year of a phd program, writing his dissertation. Last week his mom died, and since he lost his dad ten years ago she was his last surviving parent. He immediately flew home but now that his departure date is nearing he is feeling incredibly guilty for returning to the US and leaving his sister, who is married with a child but was very close to his mom and spen a lot of time with her.\n\nHis sister's family is planning on moving to canada very soon, within the next 6 months, so I reassure him by saying that even if she feels lonely she will soon be much closer to him. The problem is that he cannot do both of the things he wants/needs to do, they are mutually exclusive: focusing on his work makes him feel neglectful of family, and vice versa. He is so torn up, misses his mom, feels helpless.\n\nI want to be there for him and help him somehow, but I don't know what to say when he says \"I miss my mom.\" It makes me sad too and them I'm tearing up on the phone and feeling like an idiot. I also miss him a lot. I told him to stay longer if he thinks he should, but he is obviously conflicted about staying and he says he can't, \"there's no point.\"", "summary": "My boyfriend is grieving and guilty, doesn't know how to help his family. I don't know how to help him."} {"id": "t3_506mn0", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "Just adopted my first kitten, and she tested positive for feline leukaemia virus, please help.", "post": "6 days ago, I adopted little Athena from a local shelter. She's a 4 month old black cat, who was at the shelter for 2 months before I adopted her. She was found abandoned with her siblings under a porch and someone brought them in. She has been nothing but playful, cuddly, and has seemed nothing but healthy since her adoption, and the shelter had found nothing wrong with her either. After her first vet visit today, I was heart broken to learn she has tested positive for feline leukaemia virus. She still has no symptoms of sickness, and the vet has told me that I have nothing to worry about yet, and that I just need to bring her in for her follow up in a few weeks. I'm so worried and scared for her, does anyone know more about this disease and can help me understand what our chances are or if there's anything I can do? I love her more than anything and am hoping someone help me understand what to keep an eye out for or what I will need to take care of her if the worst happens. I've already contacted the shelter to let them know since the disease is contagious. I do not know how she acquired it as of now. For anyone who can help, thank you.", "summary": "newly adopted 4 month old kitten from shelter has feline leukaemia virus, and new pet owner would like help understanding the situation."} {"id": "t3_1ka9j3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16m] need advice on how to help my gf [16f] feel her self worth.", "post": "We meet at a camp during the summer. She wouldn't talk, look or even walk toward people because that's how bad of an introvert she was. Being an ex introvert I decided that I would try and help her come out of her shell.\n\nI then realized that I really do have feelings for her like I actually liked her. I asked her out and she said yes. We have been together for a month now.\n\nThe problem started toward the 3 week mark of our relationship. She always says that other girls are so much prettier then her and she doesn't know why I'm with her and not these other girls because they're so much better then her.\n\nWhat do I do to help her feel her self worth?", "summary": "GF FEELS AS THOUGH SHE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE. HOW DO I HELP HER?"} {"id": "t3_1kf9m8", "subreddit": "college", "title": "I'm a Clueless first generation freshman who needs help with a fast loan.", "post": "I just turned 18 today and have no credit score, but need a loan as soon as possible. I didn't think I would need a loan, which is why this is so last minute and stressful. \n\nI am heading off to college in a few days. I received a full ride, (half financial and half academic). I had about 1000 dollars my parents had saved that would have gone toward me paying for supplies for my dorm and my school. However, my little brother was arrested recently and that money went toward his lawyer. Because of all the complications with this, my parents have not had time to make up the money for me. My mother is disabled and has not worked in years, barely off social security. My father works as a taxi driver in a different state, but has had to stay in the state i live in to help with my brother and hasn't been making any money. \n\nI did not get a job this summer because my financial aid would decrease if I had proof of income. (so I'd be working to pay off money they'd deduct from me working.) The same was true if I had won any type of scholarship. I do not have any family that I could borrow money from temporarily. \n\nMy full ride has given me 1200 dollars for personal expenses and textbooks. this would be great if I could access the money. It shows as a negative balance in my ebill, so its to be refunded to my checking account. It has not been refunded yet, and I was informed that it would be refunded in two weeks, (which is well after i start college). \n\nI need a loan to be able to buy bedsheets and school supplies, as I legitimately have nothing suitable I could bring to college. I can pay off the loan immediately after school starts, I just don't the first thing about applying for loans. I'm desperate at this point.", "summary": "I have no money to pay for college supplies because of family circumstances. I will not have money until after school starts. I need to get a loan as quickly as possible. "} {"id": "t3_1ka05r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [18F] just saw two marks on my neck and thinks I [20M] have been cheating. What do I do?", "post": "We were watching films whilst over at my house, and when I stretched at some point she pointed to my neck and said \"are those bite marks?\". I had no idea what she was talking about so I asked her to take a photo, which she did. To my surprise there were two ~2 inch long oval marks on my neck which looked like bite marks. \n\nAt this point I start stressing a bit because she's been cheated on a few times in the past and I knew what she was thinking. I had no idea what to say, because I didn't know what they were and therefore couldn't convince her that they weren't bite marks. This just looks like I'm floundering and failing to come up with a lie, so she starts crying and saying that she hasn't seen me for a week, so who have I been seeing behind her back in that time gap. I haven't left the house hardly since I've seen her, so I had no alibi for that either, which just made my case look even more pathetic. At this point she left my house and caught a bus back home.\n\nI have no idea what to say at this point. I could use my internet history to prove that I've been home every day, but that doesn't seem like a very strong defence. She's now convinced that I'm lying and started calling out my body language and that what I said sounded \"rehearsed\", so I have no idea how I'm going to prove to her that I'm telling the truth if I have nothing to back it up.", "summary": "Girlfriend sees mysterious marks on my neck, thinks I've been cheating. I have no evidence to prove otherwise. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_2089yt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17M] having break-up talks with my [17F] girlfriend. What should we do?", "post": "Recently, my girlfriend and I have been talking not quite about breaking up but what our future brings. \n\nWe are going on a \"Grad Week\" vacation and she said that she wants to 18 for one week and not worry about hurting my feelings. However she also wants to spend it with me. We talked about the idea of a \"Hall Pass\" but almost a year into our relationship came to the conclusion that would not be a good idea. \n\nAlso, we are both going to college in the fall. We will still live close to each other but we are worried about juggling a relationship in with our freshman year of college and aren't quite sure what to do with that.", "summary": "What is our best option in this situation dating or not dating? We both wish to still be friends if we decide to put it on pause."} {"id": "t3_3szcml", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26F] with my BF [34M] of 11mo, he's really afraid of meeting my parents", "post": "So I have an issue that I suspect many people have gone through before, but I have no idea how help with this and could use some advice.\n\nMy boyfriend, let's call him Nate, and I have been seeing each other for just under a year. When we met we were smitten with each other pretty quickly, and he actually initiated the first big milestones in our relationship (asking me to be his girlfriend, first \"i love you,\" hinting at marriage and kids, etc.) We're planning on moving in together within the next year and things are pretty serious. We both live in a major city that's far from where our families live, so we don't see them that often. I met his family a few months ago when they came into town, and all went well. Very nice people and we all got along. A+ would meet again.\n\nThe problem is, my family is coming in to town to visit soon, and he's being extremely nervous/apprehensive, and even exhibiting some avoidance. Whenever I try to bring up the subject of doing stuff together when they're here, he will change the subject pretty quickly. Now, I understand it's pretty normal for a guy to be nervous about meeting his girlfriend's parents, but he's gone so far as to express to his friends when we're all hanging out that he's not looking forward to it, and even I suspect he's trying to change his work schedule so that he's less available while they're in town (when I ask him about a date/time, he will say \"I might have to work that day now, don't count on it too much.\") For the record, my parents are very nice/normal and are actually really excited to meet him. I'm afraid that, even if we only meet just for a dinner, he will clam up and be too nervous to enjoy anything the whole time. He does have a bit of social anxiety around new people, and I think this is sort of putting it into overdrive. I try to talk to him about it, but I feel like the more I bring it up, the more nervous he gets.", "summary": "Boyfriend is terrified of meeting my family. How can I get him to chill out and just enjoy it? They're not scary, I swear."} {"id": "t3_4gftor", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "My friend may have caused $3700 worth of damage to my car while driving it. Should I hold her responsible?", "post": "About a month ago, my friends, Jasmine and Lilly, and I were on a road trip and decided to drive my car. I had just bought a used Honda Civic and had a mechanic look at it. There were no major issues with the engine. We took turns driving and when it was Jasmine's turn I took a nap in the backseat. Jasmine woke me up to inform me that the car was breaking down. I saw that the engine was overheating and smoking from the vents. When we took the next exit it completely stopped and we had to push it to the side of the road. A police officer stopped to help us out and he said the coolant levels were fine. Then we had it towed to a repair shop. \n\nThe mechanic said that the engine was really overheated, the radiator was leaking, and the ignition coils had melted in spark plug tubes. From what I gathered, Jasmine didn't understand what the temperature gauge on the dashboard meant and kept driving even as the engine temperature kept rising. The estimate they gave me for the repair was $3700. Even though Jasmine was driving, she did not offer to help pay for the repairs at all. In the end I had to take out a loan to cover the cost of the repairs. \n\nWe are all college students working part time so $3700 is a lot of money for us. I had previously just had to spent most of my savings on tuition and buying a used car (this one). \n\nI'm wondering if I should ask her to help me pay for it. Even though it was my car, she was the driver and it was because she didn't know what the temperature gauge meant, the engine continued to overheat, which caused more damage to the engine, so I feel like she should at least help pay. I haven't asked her because I don't want to ruin our friendship which I cherish greatly, but at the same time, it's a lot of money and it's going to be stressful for me in the long run. Do you think she should have offered in the first place? Should I ask her to help pay back the loan now?\n\nWhat should I do?", "summary": "Friend was driving car, caused a significant amount of damage and didn't offer to help pay. Now I am stuck paying off a large loan."} {"id": "t3_1m3sw1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[23M] with my ___ [20F] half year, takes it out on me when she is annoyed about something. Decided not to care last night, blames me for not \"caring about her problems\"", "post": "Hello,\n\nSo my girlfriend and I were playing a game yesterday night. \n\nWe are doing a long distance relationship I might add. Now her laptop isn't that high tech so her game didn't run that good. So after playing for 1/2 hours she just stopped playing without saying.\n\nI stopped playing after a while too and noticed she was annoyed.\n\nTried to have a normal conversation with her, asked her about her day, what did she do? I got 2 short answers. I'm getting annoyed by this because I don't see why I deserved such kind of behavior.\n\nShe then proceeded to listen to music and start reading things on the internet, fully ignoring me.\nNow I sat back not saying a thing, when she suddenly says in a raised voice: \"well are you going to say something?\" and stopped our skype conversation.\n\nShe called me back, but I didn't pick up and asked her if she was ready to talk normally to me because I didn't deserve to be treated the way she was doing.\n\nWhat followed was her blaming me \"not caring about her problems\" and \"this is the way I am, deal with it\" and not \"being supportive\" \n\nIs that so reddit? am I being not supportive? it's not the first time she gets annoyed and takes it out on me and makes me feel bad.", "summary": "Girlfriend gets annoyed, takes it out on me, blames me for not being supportive when I decided to not listen to it for once."} {"id": "t3_1zg7j3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my crush[18 F] , too nervous too talk, too shy aswell", "post": "At first I want to say that I have no problems to talk with other women. I may be a little shy when it comes to flirting in clubs, but I'm not a fan of clubs therefor I don't see it as a problem. Now I recently had the chance to have some fun with another girl some time ago, but once I was close I lost interest all of a sudden. My guess is that it was \"too easy\", sorry I don't want to sound disrespectful.\n\nNow here's the thing with my crush. She does know that there is something, the way she talks and chats with me is not the same like with her other male friends. For example she usually responds on messages only after a few hours, if at all on me. In between the time she is still online (what's app). I never asked why she does this though as I don't want to fail and sound weak or something in that way. \n\nNow when we're in a room together or like today as we were celebrating carnival, I just can't find any topics to talk about. And it's even worse, when she is around I can't talk to other people either. (guess my brain really is depended on her opinion)\n\nI do know quite alot about her, hobbys, plans, etc.\nBut I just can't talk to her the normal way, make fun of myself, of other people, the simpliest things become a math exam. \n\nWhat can I do about it? She surely is a challenge, many other guys tried, but as she isn't ignoring me and nor is talking to me like with one in the friendzone I guess I might have a chance.", "summary": "Have no problems to talk with other women, but when my crush is around I can't talk with her nor with other people."} {"id": "t3_3qniee", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I have big dreams and goals, but they are kind of cloudy.[m20]", "post": "I live at home with my family right now and I don't go to school. I went to college for a year and decided to stop. My best friend convinced me that I don't need college to do what I want to do. Besides, I hated taking classes I wasn't interested in. The things I want to do in life (I know it seems like too much) included producing music, making a cartoon, making comics, designing clothes and shoes, and other smaller things related to that. I grew up with a good family with a father that had similar dreams. He niw has a job he's been working for 20+ years that he doesn't like. I too am afraid of falling into that path. I've been pretty down and frustrated and feeling things are quite impossible although I know there's always hope. I don't really want to do anything else, but I'm stuck. I'll be pretty down for a week, then by the next week I'm in high spirits with a game plan that always fails. I've been doing this for quite a while now. My parents are starting to get on my case now and when they ask what I'm gonna do in life I don't know how to respond. Maybe I should try looking for lessons in nyc to get me out of the house? I practice drawing and making music a lot, but I can never feel satisfied and feel like I'm moving in the right direction. Everything seems like a scary cycle of ups and downs. I have faith I can turn it around, but I just don't know how.", "summary": "Want to be a musician/cartoonist/designer. I feel stuck and confused. How do I push forward?"} {"id": "t3_1nfdr6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 19M and friend 20F, I talked to her with the intention of making her my girlfriend while she had a bf. Now i'm worried.", "post": "Me and my friend of a few months met at work started talking after getting to know each other and she tells me she has a boyfriend when i tell her that i like her. I think nothing of it and just talk to her to just to get to know her. Over time we both grow feelings for each other, i express mine and she doesn't. One day she opens up to me and lets me know that she has feelings for me. \n\nWe went out to a park for a few hours just to talk and we end up holding each other for a while. We go to the park 3 more times. Each time i can see that she is feeling guilty and she tells me that we should stop talking cause she doesn't feel right. We both agree that we are not doing the correct thing, (i later find out that its emotionally cheating) we decide to stop talking until she is single. \n\nShe has been with her bf for 5 years and i have never been in a serious relationship. I was just expressing my emotions and i felt so right with this girl, i stepped back after we talked and i realize i was being a jerk and disrespecting her relationship.\n\nMy question is should i be worried that she would emotionally cheat on me if we we're to later get into a serious relationship? Or we're we just both just innocent and ignorant?", "summary": "Me and a coworker (who is in a relationship) emotionally cheated and now im worried if she ever breaks up with him that she would cheat on me."} {"id": "t3_24skc3", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Thinking of taking a year off", "post": "Hey everyone. Lately I've been feeling pretty unmotivated/lost regarding college. I get the work done and I'm getting great grades but I feel like I am just going through the motions most of the time. I'm questioning why I'm putting myself into debt over something that I might not even come out employed from (I'm an english major so I am well aware that I am not as employable as someone in the STEM field). This was my first year, but I came in with credits from high school, so I am 3 classes shy of being a junior. \n\nI've been tempted to take the next calendar year off to work and hopefully hike the Appalachian trail. It's something I've wanted to do for awhile now, and I feel like I need it to clear my head. If I take classes over the summer/winter I won't \"fall behind\" and I will graduate in 2017 as expected. I'm just afraid that I will lose touch with the friends I have here, and of the very real possibility that I will not want to return after the time off. I just needed to rebound this off of people who maybe have been through the same thing.", "summary": "Do I take a year off to work/hike the AT or push through the next two and a half years?"} {"id": "t3_3em57u", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Quick question re: wedding registry promo codes.", "post": "Target mailed us a small handful of promo codes to use towards our wedding registry. They're 15% off either one day's worth of brick and mortar shopping or one online purchase, for items on our registry. Each has a barcode [to scan] AND an online promo code. They're addressed to be used \"for friends and family.\"\n\nI'd like to make the codes available for people [guests] to use if they want them - I know some people are cheapskates like me and will search high and low for *anything* to slice a few bucks off a total. But there's a limited number and *super obviously* I can't just hand them out to people all like, \"here you go! Buy me stuff, cuz you'll get 15% off! Thanks bro.\" We have set up a wedding website - the info was on our STDs and will also be nestled somewhere on the formal invites, and we have a handful (34) of views already [guest list is only about 60 people long.] I recently added the registry to the website with no special wording - just on its own page with a link. I did this **after** I got an email from myregistry.com notifying me that someone had searched for ours [which is a little unnerving, considering I'd never heard of that website before then.]\n\nANYWAY. Bottom line, I'd like to put the codes on the website for people to use on a first-come-first-serve basis, but I have no clue how to tiptoe around the subject because etiquette registry is all 250395 kinds of complicated and regional and touchy. No one in person has directly broached the subject [website or registry] and I don't want to sound gift-grabby. But I'm honestly not going to use each and every one of these separate promo codes myself, especially given that our registry is pretty small in itself. I know that, as a past wedding guest, I would have wanted one. How do I phrase listing them in the least-offensive way possible? I *absolutely do not* trust any potential relative to discretely distribute them in person - especially when, again, there is a very limited number.", "summary": "Received several 15% off codes for items on my registry. Want to put them on website for people to use but need help wording it so I don't set off any of the existing 32049 wedding registry etiquette landmines."} {"id": "t3_3gjvmu", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Addicts can't be friends", "post": "Originally posted in /r/relationships. I was told that I should have put it here. Sorry guys.\n\nI (female, 24) was living with a friend(female, 37) who is an addict, for 3 years. I'm also an addict. But I have my code of conduct which includes not stealing from injured, mentally ill, or old people. She has no such code.\n\nYesterday, I found out she stole pills from an elderly guy in our building with heart problems. After he saw the pills missing, she immediately said she saw me leaving his apartment. I haven't set foot in there except to fix his tv. \n\nAfter telling everyone that I stole the pills, she kicked me out and didn't give me enough time to pack. My name isn't on the lease so I'm assuming this is legal for her.\n\nBut now I'm homeless, broke because she stole all my money, and haven't eaten since before noon yesterday. \n\nI need advice on what to do. I hate losing friends because of drugs. That's why I have my code. But I still love that crazy chick like a sister.\n\nFirst time posting content and I'm on my phone so sorry for any errors. Also let me know if I posted in the wrong sub.", "summary": "was rooming with an addict for 3 years because I am also an addict. She got caught stealing, blamed me, and now I'm homeless and broke."} {"id": "t3_26p8h4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] started talking to a woman on OKC [23 F] that used to cut, not sure if I should continue?", "post": "I've been on OKCupid for a while and I finally really hit it off with a woman I met about a week ago. We've been texting each other a lot, trading pictures, sharing our interests, etc, (even a little naughty stuff, which was been really awesome haha since it's been a while for me) but last night I found out she cuts. She said her last time was in April, and sent me a picture of her legs so that they weren't shocking for me whenever we met (we plan to meet next week), and I was a bit shocked, needless to say. I cut in my past and tore up my arm pretty bad (people notice my scars), but her legs were disastrous; far worse than my arm is.\n\nI appreciate her being honest with me though, and she did mention she battles depression and anxiety. I myself battle anxiety and bipolar disorder, however I'm on medication and feel pretty stable. She said she just takes vitamins and \"refuses\" to take medication... so I don't know if that's a red flag or not. I've been reading Relationships for Dummies and I know mental stability is very important, so I just don't know if I should pursue this or not. She also told me she stopped checking her OKC after we started texting; I haven't. Not sure what to make of that either.", "summary": "Finally hit it off with a gorgeous woman with similar interest on OKC near me, but a bit skeptical of the situation, need some outside input."} {"id": "t3_fm1j2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I need to tell a guy in love with me who has social anxiety dissorder I don't want to be friends anymore.", "post": "Ok, so here's my situation. \nI started a job 2 years ago. The guy who worked in my department was a really shy nerdy guy. Me being the outgoing type and love to talk and joke with people while I'm working kept trying to get him to have fun and joke around. After a few months he finally started to come around so I invited him out for dinner and drinks with the regular crew from the other departments after work. Still super awkward but better. We hung out n stuff n he admitted he has really bad anxiety issues and social anxiety dissorder. So I tried to help him with it n come out more. And he did and seriously thanked me for being there for him and helping him out.\n\nFast forward to us being outside of work friends. He met up with me one day in a park before we were going to meet friends from work n see a movie. Sits me down and reads me a TYPED love letter (with clip-art) where he proceeds to tell me how much he loves me, how hes never had a girlfriend, been kissed or had sex, trashes my boyfriend saying how hes not right for me, and says he'll wait for me if I want etc. I have NO IDEA how to react to this so simply say I'm not interested but we're still friends and proceed with a super awkward outing with our friends.\n\nFast forward again, he wont stop saying suggestive things, creeping on me, calling everyday, fbing me everyday even though I've told him to stop. I even had to tell him to stop talking to me for a month because he was seriously bothering me. He then proceeds to take the exact same class as me at the same time on the same date and after pretty much follows me home even though I live west and he lives east because I've since quit this job and this is the only time he sees me.\nI'm done with this friendship. He's ruined it by doing this. I feel bad and don't want to crush him and break all the serious improvement he's made so far but this is driving me absolutely crazy. \n\nAny suggestions on what I should do?", "summary": "befriended a guy with S.A.D and now he's in love with me and I want him to go away but don't want to crush him."} {"id": "t3_1fc86p", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What advice can you give me on finding a new job?", "post": "Ok so I've been working for the same company since I was 16. I started as a bagger at this grocery store named Kash N' Karry. Since then I've transferred to their warehouse. \n\nSo to the point, the company has been going through bad times and it's closed many stores, last quarter it actually made a profit and our parent company has sold the brand to another company; but the warehouse was not a part of that sale and in six months I will be losing my job. \n\nDuring my time with the company I attempted school. I wanted more than anything to be an animator. I dabbled in drawing but I've never felt like I was very good. I know a lot of artist say this but to this day I'm horrible at drawing from imagination. I used to be very skilled at drawing what I saw in front of me but it has been many years since I've done that and I'm basically at square one with that skill. School sadly did not work out for me, I've never been diagnosed, but I believe I suffer from ADHD based on the symptoms, which made school difficult and I suffered depression because at the time I just thought I was a loser who couldn't get his act straight. (And maybe that was and still is the case.)\n\nI need to find a new job but my problem is that I don't have many skills I feel will help me with finding one, especially one that doesn't involve flipping burgers. I'm not above doing that but I would like to try to find a better job before I take one that will severely cut my pay, which I honestly can't afford. So if the wonderful people of reddit could give me some advice I would appreciate it. I know more information will be needed in order to provide good advice and I will be glad to provide more details as you guys need them.", "summary": "I'm a loser who will be losing his job in six months due to layoffs, with a serious lack, or awareness, of skills and would like reddit's help in my future job search."} {"id": "t3_34tv02", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "30/F with my 33/M 2 year on/off bf", "post": "I have been dating the same guy for the past two years. Everything reminds me of him to the point that its killing me. We decided to part ways last week but truthfully I can't picture a future without him. How do you keep the one you love, or can't picture a future with out? Because letting go doesn't seem like something I can do.. or maybe I just don't want to let go. I'm not ready, I see a future with him, I wish he still saw the same future with me. My heart aches in ways I never imagined.", "summary": "I can't picture a future without my ex bf I dated for 2 years.. we just parted ways last week after trying to make things work this past year. How do I fix this?"} {"id": "t3_ii4uh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey reddit, I know a lot of ISPs get a LOT of hate around here, so tell us some of your good ISP stories!", "post": "I know lately the ISP stories floating lately have been nothing short of anger inducing (especially in the US), but surely there must be some good experiences out there, so share them! I will start.\n\nFor the past few days my internet has been jumping down to about 1/3 of its speed (usually around peak hours), and then back up to decent speed, back down, etc. I had this problem a couple of years ago, and it was fixed remotely fairly quickly once I called. So I figured I would call again to see if they could do anything and unfortunately they could not fix it remotely and they said they would send a tech the next day. I later got a call saying that a tech would be unable to fix the problem, as the problem was with high bandwidth usage users in the area, now I know a lot of people will probably call that out, but I can actually understand, sort of, where they are coming from, the area I live in has a lot of people and just about everyone has the exact same plan, the wiring around the area in general (from power lines, to every cable possible) is terrible, I digress, the point is I can see where they are coming from. So in the end the lately offered my a $10 discount per month, for the next 12 months as they work to resolve the issue. It may not be as good as having my true internet speed 24/7, but I was damn well surprised that ATT of all people actually offered me a discount.", "summary": "my internet was going slower than usual, I called att, they couldn't do anything but offered me a $10 discount per month for the next 12 months."} {"id": "t3_429tpw", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by fucking up an air pass in basketball and making the school get a new fire alarm system", "post": "Obligatory: this happened 10 years ago when I was 17 (2006); when I was a high school senior; when I was on the school's senior ball team.\n\nNow at that time, my high school had fire alarm pull handles in the gym which protruded, were of a curved design, and had clear plastic covers over them.\n\nLet's just say that, during a game, I missed the teammate I was trying to pass to, who was just inches away from out of bounds; the ball went into the OOB zone and then knocked the clear plastic cover of the fire alarm pull switch which somehow activated the alarm (something I never knew until then as I thought you had to pull it; TIL).\n\nThe game stopped when the alarm started to go off. Luckily for me and probably all of us, the school principal was watching the game and saw what happened, so he went to explain to the firefighters who just rolled in and hopped out of their truck, and they left after shutting it off.\n\nNeedless to say, the school got for the gym some new, flat-design pull handles, made recesses in the walls so their fronts would be flush with the wall when mounted, and put metal doors over them that balls couldn't knock open **and** couldn't activate the alarm. At least I (or anyone else on the team, or even the whole team) never had to pay as it was just an accident and \"shitty design\" (exact words of the principal).", "summary": "Fucked up an air pass during a game of ball, activated fire alarm, firefighters came, made the school get a new system for the gym"} {"id": "t3_1x5rg0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My best friend [18 F] keeps bringing up my boyfriend's [18 M] ex and their past to be funny [18 F].", "post": "During sophomore year of high school, my friend got his girlfriend pregnant and she got an abortion. And everyone found out.\n\nA year later, I got into a relationship with that friend. \n\nPresent day, I've been in this relationship for almost 10 months and I'm happy. \n\nMy best friend and I are inseparable so that means wherever my boyfriend and I go...she goes. A lot of people see her as a third wheel but my boyfriend and I don't really care. I mean, we're all friends. \n\nWhen we all started hanging out, I noticed she'd casually bring up my boyfriend's ex as a joke. So I'd laugh and get over. Lately I've been noticing she's been bringing up his ex more often and being more...of an asshole about it. \n\nSaying stuff like, \"Let's all go hang out with [your ex] and talk.\" or \"You think [your ex] is home right now?\" or \"Don't you think it's weird [your ex] lives right down the street from you? Do you ever hang out with her?\"\n\nWhen it's just us two, she always seems to randomly bring up his ex and ask me questions like, \"How do you feel knowing your boyfriend got someone else pregnant?\" or \"Is it weird knowing that they both lost their virginity to each other?\" or \"What do you think of [his ex] getting pregnant and getting an abortion?\"\n\nI try very hard to forget about what happened between my boyfriend and his ex because this is my first relationship and I don't want anything to ruin it but my best friend just won't stop.\n\nI told her how her questions and comments make me feel and she said, \"Oh my bad.\"\n\nShe continues to make these comments about his ex. \n\nI need advice on how to stop this.", "summary": "best friend keeps bringing up my boyfriend's ex and their past, makes me feel insecure about my relationship with him, she won't stop, need advice"} {"id": "t3_2sgqoy", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[IL/NY] Stupid question: vendor mailed package via USPS but it seems to have vanished. Who bears responsibility?", "post": "I purchased something from an online vendor in IL. I've made about 5 purchases from this vendor in the past year. This time, I paid extra for two day USPS priority. Their website indicates the order was shipped, and the USPS website tells me it was received at the local USPS office a week ago. The USPS website tells me the package is 'in transit' though there are no notifications of the package leaving the facility. \n\nI've done everything I can in terms of contacting the vendor, contacting USPS, and calling the local USPS referred to in USPS tracking, and calling the local USPS sorting facility to whom the local facility referred me. \n\nMy question is: I've paid for this item and I haven't received it. Who is legally responsible? It's only $100-ish, so not a huge deal, but, do I let the vendor keep my money even though I never received my order? Or do they have a responsiblity to make good on the order?", "summary": "I ordered something, paid for it, and didn't get it. Who eats the cost? The vendor? Me? USPS? "} {"id": "t3_2bw6y9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Not sure how to feel about what happened, distressed. Advice greatly appreciated.", "post": "This is a re-post from r/rape but I figured I would post it here too because it's something that I need to get off my chest.\n\nA couple of months ago, my boyfriend wanted to try anal sex. I agreed, however, as soon as he started penetrating me, I realized I didn't want to go through with it because it was uncomfortable and painful. I started saying \"stop\" repeatedly and at first, he was still inside me. He didn't pull out immediately, but after about 20 seconds he did. ( The details of this encounter are hazy because it was awhile ago). I basically curled up into a little ball after he pulled out, and then he started asking me if I was okay, what was wrong, etc. I told him I was annoyed that he didn't stop after my first initial \"stop\" and he told me that he didn't mean to disregard what I was saying, but that he basically just didn't know if I wanted him to pull out completely or to just stop thrusting or whatever. \n\nAnyway, fast forward to the present. Now when we're being intimate, I sometimes think of that experience and I feel violated. It makes me feel detached and disconnected, and kind of gross. I don't feel like I was actually raped, but I also don't feel super great about what happened either. I would really appreciate someone's perspective on this.", "summary": "My boyfriend made me feel violated, but I still love him and know he's a good person. I'm just at a loss."} {"id": "t3_1tub5o", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [23, m] asked a friend [23, f] out per text message. Things got awkward.", "post": "I think I made the mistake by asking a good friend out per text message for tonight in the local ice arena \u2013 I would have liked to go to ice skating with her because I like her. We are both on a good level (but not that much depth in the friendship, rarely KINO).\nI just thought to try it \u2013 but she replied she couldn't understand the message (ah yes the friendzone), what do I want exactly... she replied she had already planned to meet friends to play board games. I replied to her that it was just an idea to ask \"a good friend\", I wanted to go to ice skating. \nWhat it really made it a bit awkward tonight: she came with her friends (one is my roommate, yes we have close friend circles here) to our apartment to play these board games. She said hello, I said hello. But none of us was talking about these messages these two hours while she was playing games (we weren't alone). I think I will never ever again ask a girl out per text message... What should I have react to her \"hi\"? What should I do next, maybe there is still something in the pipeline with her? I'll see her (yes, with friends) the next days (NYE, parties). Maybe something like \"hey this is no deal to go for ice skating. Stay cool\"?", "summary": "asked a friend out for ice skating, she visited our apartment with friends unintentionally -> awkward moment for me. Advice needed."} {"id": "t3_1l2jfv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[49F] with my potential date [30M]; How old is too old?", "post": "A few years ago, I found myself back on the dating scene. After my relationship ended, I went a couple of years before I even wanted to date, but even so, I'm shocked at how few date-able people there are my age.\n\nWhat sucks is that most of the date-able guys in my town are in their twenties. I've never thought of myself as a cougar and I'm really self conscious about hanging out with even late 20 somethings as friends. But the sad thing is, I have little in common with people my age.\n\nI exercise regularly, keep myself trim, and I like playing video games and taking classes at the university. I probably look slightly younger than my age, and I've been told that I'm attractive, but I don't think I'm one of those women who have \"hardly aged\". \n\nSo, here's the problem. I've met a great guy and we really hit it off. We have lots in common and time just flies when we hang out together. I already know that for him the age gap is too large, so we're going to only be friends. I just want to get a general idea though...in general, how big an age gap would 28-32 year olds on reddit be willing to consider?", "summary": "Age gap. How much is too much even if you have loads in common and have a blast being with each other?"} {"id": "t3_4443pr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [32F] with my husband [30M] want to fire our realtors/long time family friends [70sM/F] How to go about doing this without ruining friendship?", "post": "My husband and I are in the process of trying to sell our house and went with my families long time friends to handle this for us. I have known them since I was 4 years old, and they have helped buy/sell every house for my family in our area since then. \n\nThe problem is, they are getting way up there in age and are losing it. We signed with them last week and in just one week we have encountered the following problems- our signing paperwork all printed out with our address wrong, wrong directions to our house in the MLS, their request for our sign being sent to the wrong email which has resulted in us not having a for sale sign at our house, a miscommunication about an open house which left us with 2 hours notice to get the place as clean as possible and get out of the house for the day, a window being left open (in very cold weather!) and a candle left burning after said open house, the inability to find several houses for sale that we are interested in that we easily pulled up on several real estate websites, including their own offices website, a 2 inch stack of papers that were printed out when only 3 or 4 of those pages were needed (they waste a LOT of paper.) I don't know, maybe these all sound like petty issues. But when you're paying somebody as much as a realtor, you shouldn't need to be correcting them at every turn, and finding your own houses to look at, right? \n\nThere is more to it as we had issues the last time we went with them but overlooked the issues as our house sold fast and that's what mattered to us. I can get into more detail if anyone wants to hear it, but the bottom line here is we are not happy with the situation and would like to hire another realtor.\n\nHow do we handle this delicately? They really are nice people, but at the same time we feel like we need to do what is best for us. We're stumped as to how to handle this without causing problems. My family completely understands our feelings on the matter, but I don't want to cause any sort of bad feelings.", "summary": "Not happy with our realtors which happen to be long time family friends. How can we fire them without causing problems?"} {"id": "t3_25cyc3", "subreddit": "self", "title": "M22 Still a Virgin, Some advice?", "post": "Okay, throwaway here.\n\nSo, uhh, well I've never had a \"real\" girlfriend. I've had two online girlfriends, one who I traveled half way across North America to meet. We made out while I was there, it's the only time I've ever kissed a girl. \n\nI'm a small guy, I'm not really all that shy actually, but I have a hard time relating to people and people often think I'm much younger than I actually am (A few weeks ago, two people asked me what high school I go to when I just graduated from university last weekend...). \n\nI can carry on a conversation well, but I don't get social cues and I have a hard time just joking around. I have a passion for cars and when I'm not at work, I'm in a garage working on cars. This means that I'm not out meeting people very often. I go to bars, on occasion but I feel really out of place there and I don't like them.\n\nI just don't feel all that comfortable in social settings. I'm fine at work, because I know what kind of interactions I'm supposed to have. Or at school, because there's something that needed doing. But when there's no clear expectation of anything, I have no idea what to do or say. I'm one of those guys who people always tell me how smart I am, but yet I'm oblivious to the subtle social cues that people exhibit. I try to watch for them and study them, but they're hard to replicate.\n\nI just want to connect to people, to feel comfortable around them and to enjoy being around them. Right now, if I spend too much time around people, I begin to feel really drained.\n\nSorry for the long post.", "summary": "I want to learn how to connect with people (women especially) with the idea of having a girlfriend and losing my virginity."} {"id": "t3_21ymfm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(21M) am not sure what to do with my girlfriend (21F)", "post": "I've been together with this girl for about 9 months now, we come from different states but met at uni. We got together 2 weeks before she had to fly home(for 3 months). We promised that we would visit each other during that break.\n\nThe thing is 2 days, after we officially got together we went on a trip with 2 other friends( a guy and a girl). The thing is during the trip my gf was especially cold to me, and told me not to reveal our relationship to 'not make things awkward'. She would be nice to me when we were alone but when we were with our guy friend(lets call him M) she would push me away etc. After the trip i told her that i wasn't fine with it and she promised that she would our friends know that we were together.\n\nDuring the break, my gf talked to M often and would occasionally go out for dinner as they both lived in the same state. I eventually found out that eventhough they spent so much time together M was still under the impression that she was single. I got really angry and she eventually told him after we fought. A few months after i found out that she was secretly planning a trip with M(and other friends), and i found it odd especially since we were basically have the same circle of friends.\n\nBesides that, during the break i found out that she was spending time with her ex(and other friends) and even went on a trip with him. The whole time this happened i was under the impression that her ex knew that she was taken. It was only months after that i found out that she didn't tell him about us and her ex actually confessed to her, which apparently she rejected. I found this out by going through her phone(meaning she never intended for me to know), i also found out that she invited him to stay at her place when he came down to visit.\n\nI haven't actually confronted my gf about this because i have no concrete proof that she is cheating, this issue has really bothered me affecting my sleep and appetite. I would like to know from a 3rd person perspective what do you guys think.", "summary": "Gf seems reluctant to tell friends about us being together, appears to be too friendly with her male friend,caught her inviting her ex over when he visits."} {"id": "t3_sov7o", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What stupid pranks/jokes have teenagers done to you that completely backfired?", "post": "I was hanging out downtown with my friend and we were standing at the corner of an intersection to wait for the crosswalk.\n\nI'm talking to my friend when all of the sudden a stream of water (at least I hope it was water) hits me in the face. Confused, I see my friend, mouth agape, pointing at a car that was taking a turn at our corner. Apparently it was full of teenagers and one of the kids in the backseat had a Super Soaker or something.\n\nMy first reaction was \"OH HELL NO.\" And I suddenly decided to run after the car like a mad man. The blocks in our downtown are fairly short and the intersections off the main path are all 4-way stops. The teenagers kept getting held up by lines of cars waiting at stop signs, giving me ample time to catch up to them.\n\nI could hear them yelling to each other through the open windows, \"DUDE, HE'S COMING AFTER US. GET OUTTA HERE.\" At one point, I was able to pound my fist on the trunk of the car. At that point they decided to just book it. They swerved into the oppose lane, run two stop signs, and then I see a cop car in the next intersection give chase to them, flashing lights and all.\n\nI'm gasping for air as I'm watching this unfold. My friend finally catches up to me after a bit and I told him those idiots were going to get pulled over. We decided to bounce ASAP in case anyone began wondering why some Asian guy was chasing after a car full of kids.", "summary": "Kids in car shoot me with strange liquid, I chase them, they run two stop signs and get pulled over by cops."} {"id": "t3_1w2i6l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my GF [19 F] of 3 years, I need help seeing if I am in the wrong.", "post": "My GF and I have been dating for a while now, since high school. We currently go to two different colleges, but spend nearly everyday together as happy as we can be during our breaks. \n\nRecently, she went to a leader ship camp recommend to her by a faulty member at her university. I am typically very introverted and only can bare having a few friends. Every one else mostly annoys me in some way, but I dont like to show it. So, of course at this camp they require people to become very close and develop freiend ships with eachother. She says she had an amazing experience and an overall good time.\n\nMy issue is that she obivously became good friends with both guys and girls. I don't care if she hangs out with all of them at once, it does bother me alittle when she hangs out with all of them at once, but it really bothers me when she hangs out with a guy one on one. \n\nTo me, it means that there is a chance she will develop feeling for him or vice versa. I wouldn't mind if she was hanging out with him and i was with her all the time, but the amount of physical distance between us cause me to worry a fair amount. \n\nI feel as though i may be replaced, which causes me a lot of jealousy and stress. I have told her that I don't want her to hang out with other guys one on one. I know that is wrong, but I still cant help myself from feeling that way. Earlier today she basically told me, \"too bad, I can have friends that are guys.\" Which is true, I just still don't like the idea. \n\nShe has never done anything for me to lose trust in her, I am just not a very trusting person.\n\nSo, is it wrong for me to ask her to not hang out with other guys? Can anyone maybe help me think of a comprimise? Or just give some of your advice.\n\nThanks.", "summary": "I told my GF that I dont like her hanging out with other guys when I am not around, she said \"too bad\"."} {"id": "t3_1iz27r", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What should I do with my schizophrenic Grandfather", "post": "As the title says, i'm not to sure what I should do with him. Im 17, and I take care of him while my mom is at work. Usually that's just making sure he takes his medication, and eats food. Recently, hes started to drink. His psychiatrist ( amazing lady ) told him he has to stop, and he agreed to, but he hasn't. My mom thinks that all the booze is gone, but I know he still has some ( called the local taxi company to pick him up some vodka ). Last night, he wouldn't take his meds, and drank instead. \n\nI'm not sure if I should tell my mom about this, it is quite a common thing when she isn't here. The only thing that is making me not tell her is that he is 72, it is his life. He is well aware he is ill, and knows drinking isn't a good combo with his meds.", "summary": "Sxhizophrenic grandfather is drinking/refusing to take meds. Should I leave it alone, or tell my mom?"} {"id": "t3_36hfwz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Hurtful gf (24)", "post": "Hey all, I think I've posted here before about another issue but store is my gf and I (m24) have been dating the most of 10 years and she's always been hurtful. If she has a bad day she'll be hurtful to me if I'm not there immediately. Like today, I'm working and she's had a day off and I ask her during the day how her day has been and she says it's ok. I get home at 330 and she says come over and I say I'm having a rest for an hour and she's annoyed at that telling me to fuck off and stuff. Anyway she doesn't reply and she told me the day before she needs to be at work for something so I think she's not replying because she's at work. Turns out she's asleep. She wakes up later going off at me for not being there yet and I try and explain to her why I'm not there which is because I think she's still at work so I haven't left yet I hadn't heard from her in over 3 hours. She keeps saying hurtful things like why don't we just break up and general hurtful things which she doesn't need to say. I get to hers after I finally know what's going on and she's still like this. She wants me to just read her mind and understand she had a bad day when she's told me the exact opposite.\n\nHow can I stop her from being so hurtful all the time? I tell her I love her all the time and I show her I love her and I get nothing but pain in return half the time. When we have these fights about nothing I just feel like my heart sinks and all my energy is being sacked out of me. When I tell her how much she hurts me she says everything fucking hurts me. The only thing that hurts me is her.\n\nAnd I know I'm saying it as if it's the only thing she does but it's not, she is loving and kind sometimes but it's like she has to much hate in her, I think she finds it hard to express those good feelings towards me.", "summary": "gf is hurtful when we get in a fight, she seems like she can't control her self when she gets in a mood and all that comes out of her is hate."} {"id": "t3_2xxx13", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21F] parents [50s MF] are being cheated by a psychiatrist [40s? M] and my sister [20F].", "post": "My parents are doting, loving parents and this gives them a very big blind spot when it comes to *anything* involving our well-being. They also know very little about mental health diagnoses, and think that the doctor is *always* right. \n\nThey have been paying an inordinate amount of money for my sister \"Marie\" to see this psychiatrist \"Dr. N\" for many years. Dr. N has \"diagnosed\" Marie with several disorders that require continuous weekly therapy sessions with him. Marie does not fit the criteria for these disorders at all (and multiple other people close to her agree with me). This is not just armchair psychology, she is experiencing side effects unique to people who are taking her medication who don't have the disorder. She is just a nasty person who enjoys drama.\n\nWhenever Marie is asked to do anything (such as go to class, not crash the car, care for her dog, etc.) she has a meltdown, claiming her disorder makes her incapable of doing whatever simple (unrelated to the disorder even if she had it) task is at hand. Dr. N will then back her up.\n\nI have brought this up before but my parents get angry at me for not being \"understanding\" enough. What can I do to get through to them?", "summary": "My parents are being lied to by a psychiatrist, and my sister is living it up with no responsibilities by claiming she's incapable of doing anything."} {"id": "t3_1is0ky", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "me [23/m] and my ex gf [22/f] are starting to date again but she's still seeing her old fuck buddy, am I justified to be upset??", "post": "it's been a week since we started really talking again. We had a pretty bumpy relationship but were still best friends and love each other. She mentioned that she had been sleeping with someone but that it wasn't anything serious. I didn't mind because I've been doing my own thing as well. After a week of going out on dates and getting to know each other again, I'm embarrassed to say that I'm still completely in love with her. We we're talking last night and I asked her if she still talks to this guy, she said yes. I then asked her if she's still planning on sleeping with him. her reply was that she's not planning on anything but if the opportunity came up she doesn't see why not. She also added that I have every right to do the same and I understand because we're kind of just casually dating right now but I can't help but to feel upset. Is that normal?? Am I being clingy?? we're both trying to work our way back into a relationship. So what can/should I do???", "summary": "Just starting to date my ex again. She says it's ok for us to still be having sex with other people. Not sure if I should be ok with this or upset."} {"id": "t3_36d22z", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "(Los Angeles, CA) - How can I sue someone for an amount over 10k if that is the limit in small claims?", "post": "Greetings everyone! \n\nTwo months ago I filled out a loan agreement with someone in the amount of $10,000 plus interest for a period of a month. The agreement was notarized saying that the borrower was to pay me back in a month. Well now they are past due 3 weeks entering the 4th. I have maintained email contact but when he went past due he stopped replying. Do I notify him that I have a demand letter ready one last time to see if he cooperates or do I just send the letter via UPS or FedEx already? \n\nHe is a paralegal so I would think he has an idea how things work. Being that the small claims limit is $10k how can I sue him for the amount plus interest if it is over the limit?", "summary": "Borrower is about to be 30 days past due, how can I sue for an amount over 10k if that's the limit?"} {"id": "t3_28a65f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Young and in Love: 17F with 18M ~6 months SO has Bicuriousity struggles, & I'm afraid to hold him back.", "post": "Hello there~\n\nStory goes, both myself and SO are a little bicurious. Him a little more public than myself, as I'm still discovering my preferences. But we're comfortable with each other's decisions and choices and strongly encourage one another to be open about new discoveries.\n\nIssue is, I know he's tempted to act on his curiosity, even though he's convinced me there's no way he could bring himself to do so. My best friend who came out a couple months ago has long since had a crush on him and there's always been joking of them two hooking up for a night. Guilty me; for a while I cheered it on playfully but I think SO is starting to crack.\n\nI feel sometimes like I'm holding him back. Polygamy isn't exactly something I'm crazy to get into, nor would I want to make it a permanent option. Is it wrong for me to want him be sure of himself? There's so many gray areas in these times of discovery that I'm not sure what's right to \"encourage\" or help him act upon.\n\nA lot of this is getting filtered to him as paranoia, which is partially an outcome. But I really want him to decide what's best for him and not worry about what will 'hurt me' or what is best for me. As far as loving someone goes, he is someone I could spend my life with. But I don't want my \"satisfied\" mentality to blockade him from what could also satisfy him.", "summary": "17F & 18M, SO is questioning infidelity, confused on if I should encourage him to experiment with someone else to satisfy his curiosities?"} {"id": "t3_416ohc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [18/f] is having break-up issues with her ex[18/m]", "post": "I have this friend [18/f] who was in a relationship with a guy [18/m] for about 3 years. Let's call the girl Kate and the guy Tim. In the 3 years they were dating, they have broken up and gotten back together about 3 times. About 6 months ago Kate broke up with Tim due to personal reasons but still had strong feelings for him. She didn't want to lose him for good so she continued to talk to him through text, snapchat, and in real life. She did though, want to move on. Tim, who also still had strong feelings for Kate wanted to get back together but Kate really was against it. Knowing that Kate didn't want to get back together with him, Tim wanted to try and move on and decided that the only real way to do that was to stop talking to Kate completely so that his strong feelings for her lessen. This happened about a week ago and Kate was devastated when she heard that Tim wanted to stop talking. She ended up crying and the next day she told me about it. Over the next few days she's been telling me she's deleted him from snapchat and from Skype and so on. The problem is, I don't know how to respond to the things she's telling me. I feel like I can't tell her \"Congrats on moving on\" because I know she was really upset when T told her they should stop talking. When she told me she removed him from snapchat or something I always told her \"Good job!\" but I feel like I should be saying more or helping her out in some way. I asked her if she was okay once and she just said she was fine, but I can tell she wasn't. I've been friends with K for years and we're close so I really want to help her but in this case I don't know how. This seems like a stupid thing to ask for advice, but I could really use it right now.", "summary": "How do I cheer her up and what should I say when say to her when she tells me stuff about her ex?"} {"id": "t3_ev1nt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Single again.. Could use some comfort from my fellow redditors.", "post": "I was single for about a year and a half (i'm in my early 30's). I was truly, honestly content with being single and living out my days that way. Then, she literally just fell into my life out of nowhere and blew me away. I fell in love. She fell in love. It was like out of a freaking movie. It was more than I ever expected to have again. I thought I had finally found that proverbial \"someone\", well after I had given up even looking for them. \n\nToday, we broke up. I still love her. She still loves me. But, it just wasn't enough. It had just fallen apart somehow, without either of us being able to stop it. She said she \"we could stay together a while longer, but it just isn't going to last.\" I said there was no point in dragging either of us through it; if one of us doesn't think it will work, it definitely won't. She said she wanted to stay friends, I said I couldn't stay friends with someone I still had such strong feelings for. So, I'm starting my new year alone and nursing some very painful wounds.. Kind words would be *very* welcomed right about now.. \n\nYes, I deleted her off my facebook.", "summary": "forever alone isn't so bad.. Until you get reminded why it is, and then go back to it, anyway."} {"id": "t3_twjch", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What are fat people?", "post": "That sounds like an awkward question, but the thing is, I just don't know. I really know much about why their bodies store extra fats, and I don't know what fat means. Is it someone who has a beer keg? Or is it someone who has wears XXL or on? I don't know.\n\nI often don't know how to treat \"fat people\" (quotes because I don't know how to recognize one!). It just feels awkward for me now. I am usually okay and chill but after being with my girlfriend for a couple years and hearing her call herself fat, and other girl friends calling themselves fat, seeing movies that people have a skewed sense of reality... I just don't know. \n\nCan we say fat jokes? I am not exactly racist, sexist, etc. but we can all enjoy some of these jokes now and then, especially with close friends as long as we understand them. But I don't understand anything about \"fat people\". What constitutes to you being fat?\n\nI gained 30 lbs in ONE summer. I got a bit of a gut now but it is not that noticeable. A little bit of it went to height as well but still, it was the first time I noticed my gut. I never considered myself fat and still don't and thus I am confused.", "summary": "I am asking, you, noble redditor's to educate me in what \"being fat\" means. Any personal stories? Medical background with the science? Or a therapist with the understandings of how it feels etc.? "} {"id": "t3_18nnpe", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I don't have any form of stress-relief or \"relaxing\" zone anymore. Please help me find ways to de-stress, I feel like I'm going insane.", "post": "I moved away to university a couple of weeks ago. I share a room with two other people. I've never had to share a room before, so it's very unusual to me. I don't live too far away, so on weekends I have been making the trek back home to visit family and stay in my own room. \n\nNow here comes the problem. At uni, I almost never have any time to myself to destress from daily life. It's stressful for me to interact with everyone 100% of the time, and obviously the workload is somewhat stressful, etc. So there is always someone in our room, even when I go to sleep and wake up and all throughout the day and night. I don't get any \"time off\" there. When I come home, my family is always arguing. There is a new puppy so there's almost no time of quiet, someone always needs to watch him because he's brand new and gets into lots of trouble -- and when I arrive, everyone scatters so I'm left with the dog. My room has been salvaged for parts over the past few months so there's really nothing comforting or mine anymore. So, when I'm away I'm desperate to come back and when I'm back I can't wait to get back away, and I've soon found out that NEITHER of these places allow me that alone time I really need to function properly. \n\nHow can I get some time away? Where can I go to relax? What I used to do in my alone time wasn't much... just browse the internet, maybe do some artwork or read or something. It was just important to chill out by myself for a few hours every now and then. I could get *some* time alone by exercising, but I want relaxing and lazy alone time too.", "summary": "I have two homes and people are always there in both of them. I need alone time. Where else can I get it?"} {"id": "t3_jrujv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I am conflicted on whether or not I was a prick to the drive-thru lady at my local McDonald's. What do you think?", "post": "I pull up to the drive-thru menu and order one McDouble (No special requests like no pickles or no onions, just one McDouble). I pull up to the first window and pay for my sandwich with exact change, $1.06 (A dollar bill, a nickel, and a penny). I pull up to the second window and I see the drive-thru lady with a bag and drink in her hand, obviously not my meal. \n\nShe opens the window and says, \"There's going to be a wait on your McDouble, please pull ahead.\" \n\nI told her (exact quote), \"I think I'm just going to wait right here.\" \n\nShe turn around and says to somebody, \"He said he's going to wait right here.\" I got my McDouble in about 20 seconds, and went on my way.\n\nI've always heard about fast food places making people pull up so as to not affect their drive-thru time. In this particular instance, I ordered one item that is probably one of the biggest sellers McDonald's has. If I had ordered $20 worth of food, or had a bunch or special orders, I would have gladly pulled ahead.\n\nI also don't consider a wait of 20 seconds to be a major wait for food, but it does seem like enough time that the drive-thru staff wouldn't want that on the computer, especially given the amount of food I was ordering. \n\nSo Reddit, was I a prick for not pulling ahead?", "summary": "I didn't pull forward when the drive-thru lady asked me, and resulted in a \"wait\" of about 20 seconds."} {"id": "t3_wgzcg", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Dear Reddit, Has anyone ever used the site Couchsurfing.org? What was your experience? Would you recommend it for me?", "post": "Reddit, I am currently planning a trip to Moscow for a small vacation this August. I have already acquired my plane ticket and necessary documents but yet to have reserved a hotel as they are expensive and don't seem anywhere near as nice as what you could get in the US for that price (cheapest hotel is about $100 a night).\n\nMy friend suggested I use couchsurfing.com and see if anyone would host me for the few days while I'm over there. The site seems legit and makes it seem like this community really cares about having fun and meeting new people.\n\nHowever, I would really like to not be kidnapped. I can not stress enough how much I would love to wake up with my money and passport intact each morning, as well as my necessary organs. Can you guys offer me any advice?", "summary": "Is couch surfing a safe way to travel, and would you recommend it? Would like to wake up with all major organs."} {"id": "t3_kylgl", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the best way to answer multiple choice responces when fillling out a job application?", "post": "It seems like this is always the longest and hardest part when it comes to filling out applications for jobs. I never know exactly how i should answer some of the questions and whether or not i should be truly honest. In most cases i feel as if i were to be as honest as possible then i would most likely come off a bit too bold for the job i'm applying for.\n\nAnother thing that confuses me is the use of the \"*slightly agree*\" and \"*slightly disagree*\" responses. I feel like if i were to respond with either of these options then it could be interpreted as if i'm trying not to lie or tell the whole truth.\n\nI guess my overall question is **(", "summary": ") should i lie about myself in the multiple choice portion of a job application or should i come out and be as honest as possible?"} {"id": "t3_3euwzm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19M] girlfriend [18F] thinks she hasn't ever had an orgasm because she's never \"squirted\"", "post": "My girlfriend and I are in a LDR, so whenever we're together and alone, we try to fit in as much alone time as possible. And whenever we do, I try to take care of her before we finish with me. So it usually starts with the (sorry if this is too much detail, but it may be necessary) kissing and fingering, sometimes play with a toy, until finally she reaches a point where her body starts shaking, her legs clamp, and she reels back down.\n\nHere's the thing: she doesn't consider herself to actually orgasm unless she \"squirts\". So, to her, despite all of the aforementioned events happening every time we've been together for the better part of a year-and-a-half.. She thinks she hasn't orgasmed, because she hasn't squirted.\n\nAnd it's not for a lack of effort. I've tried countless time myself to get her to the point of squirting, watching videos online, reading articles (I've even read in some places that some women can't squirt, others say all can, I don't know who to believe) but she usually tells me to stop after trying for anything longer than fifteen minutes.\n\nShe prefers her sexual activities involve me, so she's against the idea of using toys on herself, by herself, so I'm not even able to tell her the best way for us to get her to orgasm is for her to make herself organs so she knows what it is like.\n\nI just.. I am 99% sure that I've been getting her off during our alone time (She admits it feels good), but I can't convince her that an orgasm doesn't need someone squirting. Am I right in thinking that? Am I right in thinking that she's been having an orgasm the whole time?", "summary": "Girlfriend doesn't believe she has orgasmed during our entire relationship because I haven't made her squirt; I think she has and she just can't squirt."} {"id": "t3_50kqa6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22m] have recently reconnected with [22f] from High School after 4 years, not sure how to approach the situation, conflicted in so many ways.", "post": "So, I'm [22m] moving to a new place in a few weeks, and I discovered that a girl from High School [22f] has been living in that same place for about a month now.\n\nIn high school and subsequently college, I didn't have much of a dating life. I had a few girls that I really liked, but I never really dated. Mostly dealt with rejection or general nervousness in regards to talking to girls.\n\nExcept once. This same girl and I hung out a lot, went to movies alone, went to the beach...stuff like that. But, I was never really sure how she felt about me. Eventually, I asked her out on a \"real\" date, and my maturity level essentially lead to it being just that one date.\n\nWe ended high-school on that note, and I haven't seen her since then.\n \nOf course, like I said, we wound up meeting again after college. **She recently got out of an engagement**, (within the past month or 2) so I'm stuck with keeping my feelings at bay for the time being. I'm not sure the exact circumstances of the break-up, but regardless, I find myself very conflicted about the entire thing.\n\nNeither of us have many friends in this new place, aside from one other person [22m] who has a girlfriend of his own [21f]. \n\nThe other day, we talked about our lives up to that point, and it had to have been one of the most emotional and deep conversations I've ever had in my life. Which, makes the whole thing so much more confusing.\n\nEven worse, I might have to stay at her house in a few days, as I haven't moved yet and I have interviews coming up. It's probably weird as hell that I'm uncomfortable with that idea, but it's difficult to keep out of my mind.", "summary": "Discovered the one girl I was ever close to being in a relationship with lives in the city I'm moving to. She's recently out of an engagement, and I have very conflicting feelings. "} {"id": "t3_4pbowr", "subreddit": "running", "title": "New to \"actual\" running on its own!", "post": "Hey everyone hope everyone is having a great day!\nBeen lurking on this reddit for some time but thought I should ask to questions.\n\nI'm trying to get into running to stay in shape and also because I enjoy running. I'm a 6ft tall and 165 lbs male that has been playing sports all my life since around 1st grade started with soccer and then in elementary switched over to lacrosse. I have always been a fast kid with lots of stamina and playing these two sports really helped. When high school came around I stuck with lacrosse for all four years. Fast forward to college and I didn't really play for any team but I did lots of intramural and \"tried\" to run on my own.\n\nSo after that little background I guess my questions are where should I start. During my first year at college I ran a 5k in 24 minutes not sure if that's good but that is the only real information I can provide to you guys to maybe help me. I'm pretty new to \"running\" on its own so any insight would be great. Even linking me to maybe a guide you followed. Any tips, tricks guides, or anything would be grateful. Thanks!\n\nAlso I'm not much a lifter I'm a tall lanky kid but will be trying to get into lifting this summer so any insight on what gym exercises runners should do would be great as well.", "summary": "New to running decently in shape would like to keep getting in better shape but has never ran just to do it. Looking for all and any insight."} {"id": "t3_23gide", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "2 months after we broke up, EVERYTHING still reminds me [25F] of him [38M], please help", "post": "I know two months might seem like a short time but it's driving me utterly insane, if you've any advice beyond 'give it time', PLEASE, throw it at me. With a brick.\n\nI know intellectually that it's over, but I don't feel the tiniest bit differently. I love him. I miss him. I want him. I am doing everything that I can to move on (in a healthy way, - okay, so I've done some unhealthy ones, too), but every. single. thing. reminds me of him, and sends me to tears.\n\nI know there's no 'magic cure', but someone out there might know of something, anything, that could ACTUALLY distract me from him, or make me feel even a tiny bit better, so it's worth asking. I cannot bear this.\n\nThank you.\n\nOh, mandatory stuffs: me, 25, F; him, 38, M; us, couple for 8 months, cohabiting for... I'm not sure, actually, - about 3 months. Short by most relationship terms, but we'd each had much longer, more serious relationships before, and never felt like how we did for one another. We ended things on excellent terms, still very much in love but realising that we weren't working out, 2 months ago.", "summary": "Help me accept that I'm single. YOU HEAR THAT, BRAIN? SINGLE! LET IT GO!"} {"id": "t3_26gzc6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F], Him [32 M] 2 1/2 years -- How do you thank someone who has been taking care of you when you're ill?", "post": "About two weeks I broke my leg. My boyfriend has been kind enough to let me inhabit his couch/apartment until I'm well enough to climb up the stairs to my own apartment (no elevator in the building). I can't even really go out and hop around on crutches because I sprained my wrist in the accident too and crutches wear me out fast because they get too painful.\n\nHowever, I am feeling increasingly more terrible about this. He has a very stressful job and trains for triathlons as well. He doesn't really have the time or energy to be dealing with me, but he's treated me with nothing but kindness and compassion to my every whim. He does SO MUCH for me!! Cooks me food, sacrifices his couch/privacy, lugs me to and from doctor's appointments, gets me water, gets me stuff from the store, checks my mail back at my apartment, keeps me company, comforts me when I'm depressed and upset about all this... today he is cooking me a favorite meal for my birthday...\n\nI try to keep up being courteous to him and everything, and try to be as thankful as possible to him. But sometimes I just get grouchy and stir crazy with being kept indoors and I am not as nice with him as I could be. After I snap at him or I'm cold to him, I feel absolutely terrible about it, like right now. \n\nAnyway, the point I'm trying to arrive at, is how on EARTH do you EVER even BEGIN to thank someone for all of this??? Like.... holy crap, we're not even married and he's doing all of this for me. How will I ever repay his kindness? how CAN I?? Does anyone else have experience with this type of situation or know someone that does? I feel so guilty and lucky and awful and thankful.", "summary": "Somewhat bedridden, my wonderful boyfriend is taking care of me and doing so much for me. How do I ever repay him for such a deed???"} {"id": "t3_1fudq6", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[19M] her being 19. Not sure how, or when to get to second base for I am a virgin and not ashamed, just clueless.", "post": "Ok I being 19 and male and her being 19 also. It's been 5 dates now over a span of 2 weeks, I've meet all her closest friends, we hit off fairly easily even after I told her I'd never kissed a girl. \n\nNow this is where it gets to be a gray area for me. I'm still a virgin and all that jazz and I've never made it to second base with a girl and she knows that too.(Second to me being more physical touching above the waist/chest area). She adores that I'm confident enough to share that with her. Now my question is this. What is the best and smoothest way to transition to second base?", "summary": "Me[19M] Her being 19, 5 dates over 2 weeks. Me being a virgin and her knowing. How do I smoothly get to second base with her?"} {"id": "t3_1edtag", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Ex (21F) is in a relationship one month after ending a 3.5 year relationship", "post": "We broke up in mid March after seeing her for Valentines Day. We were in a long distance relationship but I had plans to move back home after college. I was upset over the breakup as anyone might be but I knew that we were both good people just going our separate ways trying to discover ourselves.\n\nHer birthday was yesterday and so I wished her a happy birthday only to receive a text from my friend, shortly thereafter, that according to Facebook she got in a relationship in mid April. My friend sent me a picture and turns out the guy is a name I recognized from her Snapchat and texting all the way back around New Years.\n\nI was going to send her the following but I decided that she is not worth my breath, but it is still nice to vent:\n\n> I pity you and your cowardice. \n\n> To end a long term relationship is something I can accept but to lie when asked if there was another person in the picture and then be in a relationship only a month later, that's distasteful and wrong. \n\n> I can't believe how fake you were, leading me to believe you wanted to try and be friends. \n\n> I thought during our time you grew as a person but you're still the same insecure girl looking for approval from guys and scared to be an independent individual. \n\n> My only regret is second guessing myself when the problem was you.\n\nThe pessimistic side of me is pissed I wasted so much time with someone that's so heartless and the optimistic side of me is glad this all came about now instead of down the road when I could've potentially moved in with her.\n\nLet it be noted that I ended all communication with her at the end of March with the exception that I wished her a Happy Easter and a Happy Birthday. Given the events that took place I don't think I will ever speak to her again.", "summary": "Long term relationship came to an end after 3.5 years. Less than a month later she is with a guy that she was 'friends' with while we were dating."} {"id": "t3_12f95e", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "When has your day turned out least like you have expected?", "post": "Today I thought I was just going to go to class and write a paper. However, my day went wild from the very beginning.\n\nThe first crazy thing that happened was the seizure. I was sitting in 8 am class with everyone really tired when I look across from me and see that this girl is sleeping. She looks really into it, leaning all the way back in her chair, head flopped back and everything. It even sounds like she's snoring.\n\nHowever, when one of my classmates tries to wake her up, nothing happens. Meanwhile the snoring is getting more and more guttural. It starts to sound less like snoring and more like a growling dog. Suddenly her head snaps up and she starts staring right into my eyes, with the most contorted face I have ever seen. Her hands are knotting and her skin is going blue. She snapped out of it after about 30 seconds, but during that time I saw why people used to think epilepsy was caused by possession. \n\nAfter that I come back to my room and try to do homework. However, physics is a bitch, and I can't get her face out of my mind. It was easily one of the scariest things I have ever seen. I decide to go on reddit to distract myself. After a couple hours of wading through delicious blue links, I hear a really loud banging on the door. The person across the hall was practically falling onto my door. He had just started to lose hearing and sight, as well as feeling incredibly dizzy. I walk him downstairs to the RAs, but no one is there. Then we try to go to the health center, but they are closed as well. Finally I have to call the campus police to get help. Then I walk back to my room and just sat around wondering at what was going on. Needless to say, my paper has not been finished.", "summary": "I started today expecting to write a paper and ended up with one seizure and having to help one person to campus safety. Didn't even start the paper."} {"id": "t3_2pv2ts", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] have been struggling since my girlfriend of 5 years [20'sF] told me she was a lesbian.", "post": "I don't usually post this kind of stuff anywhere but I don't have anybody I can talk to about this. I'll try to be about as vague as possible since I'm honoring her request not to let anybody know that the real reason she left me was because she is a lesbian.\n\n\u00a0\n\nI loved my girlfriend and still do very much; and this is a problem.\n\nThe relationship was perfect, we never fought about anything and laughed with each other all the time, amazing bedroom life, just about anything I could have ever wanted.\n\nI'm getting ready to propose to her this year and start a family 3-4 years later with her, until I'm picking her up one day and she flat out tells me she's a lesbian.\n\nFast forward 4 months later and I've failed out of all my classes for the semester and still very upset and depressed. I sleep until 2-4 PM almost every day and look at my ceiling in my bed from 2-6 am when I try to sleep.\n\nI try not to contact her at all anymore but I can't help myself and when I message her I just get hateful and resentful when she replies back with her 2 word uninterested responses.\n\nI don't know what to do. I'm not going to kill myself but this has completely broken me and I still haven't recovered yet. \n\nHow do I move on with my life and find someone else? I'm in college now and I don't do anything social or get out basically at all; I debated using Tindr or something to meet someone else, but that feels kind of shallow to me and I think you have to log into it with Facebook and I really don't want my friends seeing me on there either.\n\nI feel like so much time was taken from me and I'd really like to be back into a relationship because I would like to have a family some day.\n\nCan anyone help me?", "summary": "Girlfriend of 5 years is a lesbian and isn't interested in me anymore in the slightest. How do I finally move on and meet someone else?"} {"id": "t3_clwry", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what is the best way to close the gap between you and your parents after being emotionally distant for more than a decade?", "post": "We are on amicable terms but I have not shared much of my life experience with them for a long time. This is because I did many things in life that they have disapproved of, and after many uncomfortable talks during which harsh words were exchanged and I was chased out of the house (but subsequently returned), I decided not to share any of those experiences with them again. They mainly have to do with my boyfriends and staying over, the usual stuff I know, but my parents are EXTREMELY conservative. Now that I am completely independent financially and my parents seem more vulnerable and in need of my support, I really want to get closer to them again but it's hard.", "summary": "My parents need me emotionally, but I have been emotionally unavailable to them for so long that it's hard. What's the best way to change things?"} {"id": "t3_4eukly", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "He [34/M] says we're \"together\", but he won't call me [28/F] his girlfriend. Am I wasting my time?", "post": "We've been dating for five months now. When we first met (from OKCupid), he told me he came from a failed engagement and several heartbreaks after that, and that he needs to take things slow because he doesn't want either of us hurt. I understood that, and was fine taking things slow. \n\nHowever, one issue I have is that he still can't call me his girlfriend. We see each other every few days, and stay at each other's places on weekends. We exchange silly and cheesy messages. We cook for each other. We've discussed wanting kids and what country we want to live in in the future (We're both expats). We have stupid quarrels over food. Basically, all the stuff we do together makes me feel like I'm his girlfriend and he's my boyfriend, but somehow that title just sends him noping out. \n\nI asked him about this several times, and he responded that he's trying really hard, and that he doesn't want to make the same mistake like before by pushing things too quickly... However, he said \"We are together\". I don't understand what that means. He even told me his own friends think he's weird for that too... and I find it weird that he openly tells **me** about this. \n\nAlso, I learned that he's still active on OKCupid through a friend. He changed his \"looking for\" to friends and his profile says that he's on there looking for friends, but he's still listed as single and that bothers me. He doesn't know that I know. \n\n\u00a0\n\nI basically feel like he can't call me his girlfriend because he doesn't want to fully commit to me. When he talks about his former relationships, he calls them his \"ex\". If I leave, what would I be to him? The \"girl I am no longer together with\"? \n\nI know he has a lot of baggage and I want to believe that he wants to make this work, but I'm scared that I'm just gonna end up with my heart broken.", "summary": "Guy I've been dating for five months won't call me his girlfriend, but we do girlfriend/boyfriend things and it's confusing the hell out of me. Help!"} {"id": "t3_2osdy8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] dating [24 F] for about a month. She never texts firsts or initiates things. Should I be worried?", "post": "Dating for about a month - things seem positive. We live far apart so we are seeing each other about once a week - usually for 4-5 hour dates. If it matters, we've kissed, but haven't slept together yet.\n\nWe have plans to go skiing for the New Year for a few days (we spoke about it and booked lodging) so I have to assume she must be interested since we will be spending a few days together alone.\n\nHowever, I get a little worried at times because she never texts first, or initiates a hangout. I've gone 3-4 days without texting first, and I won't hear a thing from her. \n\nIs this something to be worried about? Is she thinking about me at all? I know some people aren't big \"texters\" but still, you'd think she'd reach out every once and a while, right? \n\nHard to wrap my mind around it.", "summary": "Girl and I have been dating for a month. Plans to spend NYE skiing together, alone, for a couple of nights. She never texts firsts or initiates plan. Worry she's not interested enough."} {"id": "t3_1hrt44", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[27m] with my Girlfriend [1827F] of 3.5 years, are in a very weird spot and I need advice", "post": "I feel like this is more of a sex question, but either way, my relationship needs help. \n\nI proposed back in december and she said yes. Admittedly this was a huge mistake since we never discussed it. We started going through stresses of moving and she was really stressed (er terrified) of having a wedding and didn't truly believe in marriage. \n\nSex also was near non existant during this time (maybe once a month). A few weeks ago this came to the forefront of her mind and we mutually decided to call it off (although I was devastated), and decided to go back to \"normal\", they way we were before the proposal. The night it was called off I was upset, hysterical and acted immature and this put her off. \n\nWe still live together, hang out, sleep together, and love each other, and things are starting to finally seem normal, except for the fact we dont have sex now. I have tried and she resists, or makes up excuses, or puts herself in a position where it is hard if not possible to have sex. She still kisses me, hold my hand, cuddles with me, tells me she loves me and is still planning our future together. I am going crazy in the mean time, second guessing the relationship, and sex is my ultimate form of validation. I fear I am going to lose interest and end up walking out on what was once the best thing I ever had. \n\nEvery time I try to bring up the relationship work needed to repair the damage she gets stressed out, and if I bring up sex she gets even more stressed out and shuts down. \n\nThe last time I brought it up she said things were still weird and she wasn't ready. How do I know when she is ready if we cant talk about it. I am sick of putting work in and getting my hopes up just to have them crushed. \n\nHer friends have been talking to her and relay everything back. I know there is no one else in the picture (She is squeaky clean). I know she loves me and doesn't know what she would do if she lost me, and wants everything to go back to normal as much as me...", "summary": "My proposal which is now called off killed my sexual relationship with my girlfriend who loves me and wants to be with me (just not married)...Help?"} {"id": "t3_rln45", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Mother with abusive Boyfriend. Need Advice.", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nSo my mother as been dating an ex drogue addicted (seems clean, dough he smokes some joints every now and then.)\n\nShe breaked up with him and he became very stalker-ish and calling all the time and sending sms's all day.\n\nSome months have passed and now my sister says that they are together again, and that he is very possessive and keeps calling all the time to know were she is and with who, and in a very aggressive manner.\n\nMy mother wont listen to anyone that says that he is a dangerous person and that she should dump him for good. She keeps saying that he only turn against him-self (threat to kill him self, etc...), and not against other people.\n\nSo, what can I say that would make her see the danger? (me and my sister are out of the house for years now, so no problem there)", "summary": "mother with verbally (for now) abusive boyfriend wont listen to anyone that warns her of the danger. What can I do before something bad happens?"} {"id": "t3_1akwsk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21M] with [21F] feeling guilty over something silly?", "post": "I had my 21st birthday on the weekend and I got incredibly drunk. I've been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years and I love her very much.\n\nHowever, during the celebrations I grabbed a close friends boob and gave it a little squeeze. I regret my action and I think a few people saw. I had none at the time nor have any sexual feelings towards my friend and I apologised to her the next day. She laughed saying I was extremely drunk and she didn't feel awkward regarding it. Apparently I had also felt a few peoples bottoms ( which I don't remember).\n\nI feel guilty since this could hurt my relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend or only address this silly mistake if someone else mentions it?\n\nThank you for your time.", "summary": "Got extremely drunk at 21st, felt friends who are girls bums and one girls boobies and now feel guilty. Should I tell girlfriend?"} {"id": "t3_2lhgxp", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Out of the blue", "post": "Starting at uni over 3 years ago, i met this girl who i was to be living with for the year. Long story short, we ended up dating and living together through our second year. Just before our summer exams, i found out that she was seeing someone else behind my back. That was enough for me to call it a day and we broke up. \n\nCue awkward three months of still living together before i could move out... \n\nAnyway, i took a placement in my third year, leaving her to continue at uni and graduate. I haven't seen her or spoken to her since i moved out and i've been doing pretty good in terms of getting over her. Obviously there's been the odd slip up when ive looked at her facebook and got depressed but it comes and goes, and in the last few months ive pretty much got over her completely. Or so i thought.\n\nWalking out of lectures today, guess who i see in the corridor. Yup, its her. She graduated last July so i was completely unprepared mentally for this. It caught me totally off guard and its really thrown me when i thought i was over her. Seeing her walk through uni with her new boyfriend really got to me. Now, like i said, her seeing someone else behind my back was completely enough for me to break up with her, and i reallllllly dont wanna get back with her. But how i felt when i saw her really made me nervous/anxious etc. Luckily she didnt see me (i dont think) but even seeing her was really strange.", "summary": "saw ex at uni completely unexpectedly and it caught me totally by surprise, now re-evaluating whether im completely over her or not."} {"id": "t3_3bhgj4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my ex and roommate [23 F], how to survive the nightmare my life has become?", "post": "I knew from the start of things that getting involved with my roommate was a stupid thing to do, but it had been so long since I'd had a meaningful relationship, and she seemed so...perfect!\n\nFrom the start it was agreed that it would be an open relationship, as that's how she does things. Great, fine. I was good with it, except I needed some boundaries to be maintained. This is especially true as I couldn't exactly take advantage of my open-relationship status after a traumatic injury has left me off of my feet and out of work for three months.\n\nI still had savings. So when she got into trouble from her drinking, or needed help with rent, I paid it. Now I'm broke and waiting to find out if I get disability.\n\nShe said over and over that she loved me. As such I tried SO HARD to make things work. I gave her everything. I trusted my heart to her.\n\nToday though, after she broke another (agreed upon) boundary (again), I told her that if she can't respect my boundaries, that I can't be with her. She seemed sad at the time, which I'll admit was satisfying.\n\nFast forward four hours and she has her new boy toy over at the house. They were drinking and they're likely fucking in her room right now. Her bed is eight inches from my head when I'm in bed. I've heard her moan and whimper fucking other dudes before. \n\nSo now I live in terror of the agony and heartbreak of hearing her fuck the dude she brings into her bed. I can't kick her out over it (none of the other roommates would likely support it), but I can't move with zero money. I can't even lift anything for fuck's sake as I'm stuck with crutches. \n\nMy life has turned into a nightmare.", "summary": "Still in love with roommate that I broke up with, what to do when I can't move out or kick her out? Listening to her fuck other guys rips my heart apart."} {"id": "t3_j39cn", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Help! Dog started chewing all the things!", "post": "I own a 1.5 year old American Pit Bull, [Sway,] who up until recently has been perfectly fine. She's been fixed, up to date on all her shots, and is house trained. When we first got her, she had some separation anxiety issues that caused her to chew up a bunch of stuff, including a DVD, thermometer, tooth brush and countless other things. This habit broke, she got used to being both indoors and outdoors frequently. However, two things have happened recently that have caused some serious concern. \n\nThe heat wave in Texas forced us to keep her indoors. She has shown herself to be perfectly capable in that she hangs out, didn't chew on things, ate and drank but waited for us to let her out to potty.\n\nOur neighbors started remodeling their house, and we have been waiting for the last month to find out when they will be putting in their new fence, which requires tearing down the old fence that is adjacent with our yard, leaving us with three sides of a fence. This also has lead us to keep her inside. \n\nWithin the last week, however, we have come home to more and more destruction. At first it was some trash, strewn about the house. Then it was toilet paper. Today it was a box, toilet paper, AND trash. I was gone for an hour, tops. I don't know what to do!!!", "summary": "My dog has suddenly reverted to her puppy ways of chewing on things when we leave home. How do I correct this?"} {"id": "t3_53ei0s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (21M) want's to get back in touch with High school crush (21F) after 4 years no contact.", "post": "My first ever post so here goes\n\nSo in the last 3 years of secondary school, there was this girl who had a crush on me. At the time, I was completely oblivious that this girl actually liked me more than friends. During drama and stuff where we needed to partner up, She would come to me automatically to be my partner and stuff. Gave off other subtle cues too which i never picked up.\n\n During the time I knew her in school, we used to have pretty much daily deep msn conversations about life and stuff. Heck a few times she slipped in she'd go out with me if I ever asked but I was so stupid at the time and didn't even make a move.\n\nI was pretty naive and stupid at the time but I think I took her advances towards me as teasing or something negitive, so I'd be mean to her in my last year of school. \n\nSince we finished school (4-5) years ago I haven't really spoken to her at all however I facebook messaged her around 2 years ago about something and she gave quite a nice enthusiastic reply back with kisses.\n\nI really want to get to know her again as she's a wonderful person, I've sorta struggled to find someone like her since and wouldn't mind if we became good friends again or dated (although i'd prefer the later :P) . I don't think she's had a boyfriend since then either\n\nI still have her on facebook, and I'm thinking of messaging her on that. She lives really close to me too.\n\nI know this is quite a ramble but I'd appreciate any advice on how I should go about initiating this, as it's been on my mind a lot.", "summary": "Girl in HS had a 3 year long crush on me, I took it negatively and pushed her away. Want to get back in touch after 4 years no contact."} {"id": "t3_1bobie", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "She's (F21) my (M23) ex but one of my closest friends. How do I deal with this?", "post": "My ex (F21) and I (M24) dated for a little over a year before she decided to call it quits. She cited feeling unappreciated and I didn't fight it, basically because I assumed she had already moved on, and didn't want to beg. One week later, she called back and said she thinks she made a mistake and wanted to try again. That only lasted a week. This was understandable, however, cause we tried to pick up where we left off and didn't address any of the underlying issues. And so, nothing much changed and it was painfully obvious that the first breakup had left somewhat of a rift between us. For me, the fact that she had made the choice to break up before communicating with me her concerns, made me think why wouldn't she do this again? Whether it's later on when we're dating or if we happened to get married? For her, the fact that I didn't fight for the relationship bothered her and made her question if I even wanted to be together. \n\n2 months later, she contacts me saying she realizes she's made a mistake. I'm not over her. However, I would be a fool to go back to her. The trust is no longer there and I don't think she would be able to handle the fact that most of my friends now disapprove of her after all that has happened.\n\nI still like her, but I think I'm doing the mature thing by not going back to her. We broke up on good terms, but obviously we both need time away from each other. Having a hard time dealing with the fact I might not talk to her for a while though. It makes me sad because I feel as though I've lost a very close friend. Any advice for how to deal with losing a girlfriend who's also a very close friend? (we were not friends before getting together).", "summary": "Dated for a little over a year. Broke up, got back together, realized it didn't work. How do I deal with losing a close friend?"} {"id": "t3_44oyg9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (27M) and my ex-girlfriend (23F) broke up and I'm confused and not sure what to do about 4 year relationship/7 year friendship ending", "post": "We had a really great relationship for years, were best friends, and planned to spend the rest of our lives together, but then everything started to fall apart in 2015.I was having issues in my life and told her we couldn't be in a relationship anymore even though I still loved her the same as always wanted to be with her. I felt like I couldn't do it. I thought we would eventually get back together in a year or two if I was doing better, except now she's dating someone else so our relationship permanently over.\n \n\nShe still wants to be friends with me and for us to be in each others lives, but it doesn't feel quite right to me. I still like her, care about her,and enjoy talking to her for the most part, but I no longer feel this strong connection with her or feel too motivated to spend time with her since we have no future together and there will no longer be things like playing co-op games together, video chatting on Skype for hours, or her staying at my place. I've told her I'm not sure if we can be friends and she wasn't too happy about it.\n\nShould I try to rebuild a friendship with her since she wants to be friends and we've always gotten along so well, or should I forget about it and move on? Is it right to give up on someone I've known for 7 years and possibly hurt her more by cutting her out of my life? Despite being in a long-term relationship before, I can be a little clueless when it comes to relationships and friendships. I'm not sure what I should do.", "summary": "Was best friends with someone and also in a relationship with them for years. It's over now and I can't decide if we should be in each others lives or not."} {"id": "t3_pyyat", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "When was the last time you actually watched live television?", "post": "I'm guessing that most people today have some form of DVR, whether it be a Tivo or the one you rent from your local television service provider. I personally have a Ceton InfiniTV 4 card in my computer with 2 Switched Digital Video Tuning Adapters that provides for 4 HD streams at a time. That along with a 2 TB Hard Drive makes for a pretty decent queue of recorded television shows for my fiance and I to watch when we feel like it.\n\nToday I sat down on the couch and after flipping through the recorded TV queue decided I didn't really want to watch any of those things, so I hit the \"Guide\" button on my remote to see what was on. It dawned on me that this was the first time in at least 2 months that I had watched live television, when I tried to skip forward past a commercial and realized that I couldn't lol.\n\nSo yeah, how about you?", "summary": "Realized that I'd been watching nothing but DVR'd TV for at least two months. When is the last time you actually watched live television?"} {"id": "t3_43v3ep", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not realizing my sister was home.", "post": "So generally when I'm home alone, I'll walk around in my boxers and yell and have conversations with myself. I ain't ashamed, it's my house and I shall do as I please. But that's only when I'm home alone. My sister was spending the night here due to getting in late from a flight (she's a redditor, hi LMW) and she was sleeping in our guest room. I didn't know this, so I thought I was home alone. I was doing my thing, walking around in my boxers, checking myself out in the mirrors, winning imaginary arguments that were somewhat vulgar and very loudly yelling my hypothetical come backs. She walks out of the guest bedroom as I am standing in the bathroom right next to it, verbally dominating my dick head of a boss, and I find myself in one of the most awkward stare downs I've ever been in.", "summary": "thought I was home alone, stripped to my knickers and yelled like a crazy person, only to find out my sister heard the whole thing."} {"id": "t3_1mg2xv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[20/F] and my SO [24/M] have been together for 2 years. Will my commitment issues ever disappear?", "post": "I don't trust men. When I was 14 I dated my first boyfriend and it lasted for 3yrs. It was co-dependent and very unhealthy. He told me what I could and couldn't do and would frequently dump me for other girls then come crawling back to me. I felt trapped and scared of getting \"in trouble\" constantly.If I did something he didn't like he would punish me. Ever since then relationships scare the shit out of me and I HATE feeling \"trapped\". \n\nTo add to this my dad was abusive too so I've never really had a + male role model or any idea of how a relationship should be. Being sexually abused by an adult male when I was 12 further added to my anxiety with men. I KNOW there are awesome guys but my anxiety wont let me relax and completely trust anyone.\n\nI met my current boyfriend a year later. He's a model boyfriend. Meaning he's everything you should want in a relationship. He's patient, caring, kind, loyal. We've been through a lot together. When I met him he was addicted to fentanyl and he got clean a few months after we started dating.\n\nWe are in a LDR 7 months of the year because I go to school 10 hours away. My issue is I am extremely attracted to other guys. I have never cheated on him but the temptation is always there. I don't want it to be there. I thought that you should be slightly attracted to other people but not overwhelmingly so. I am also terrified of being \"trapped\". It's horrible to say because I should feel secure but I don't. i'm scared of intimacy.\n\nI don't know if I'm ready to settle down and I know he is. I would never do to him what my ex did to me so If I break up with him there's no going back. This is why I need to view this situation from as many different perspectives as possible. He's perfect so why can't I just get over these commitment issues?! Please help", "summary": "commitment issues due to a bad controlling relationship when I was young + bad experiences with men. afraid of committing to current awesome boyfriend. feel like a bad person for always being so attracted to other men"} {"id": "t3_ger46", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can someone take back something they gave to you as a gift?", "post": "My uncle was staying with my grandfather for about a year. He was slowly throwing away my grandfather's old things (television sets, bath towels, etc) and replacing them with new things he bought and gave to my grandfather as gifts.\n\nHe suddenly gathered up *everything* he ever purchased in my grandfather's house (even if it was a Christmas gift from 30+ years ago) and left with it. My grandfather is in a tight spot now because he's missing a lot of items he's come to depend on.\n\nOne of my friends said that if something is given under the agreement of a gift and then it is taken back, that can be considered property theft. I know so little about all this, but I can't help but feel it's wrong (at least on a moral level). Is there any legal backing, or is my grandfather just out of luck for accepting gifts?", "summary": "Uncle threw away grandfather's things, slowly replaced them with new things; recently took every purchased item and moved out without warning."} {"id": "t3_4b0q6z", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Today is my birthday and everything is wrong", "post": "I feel like shit, not because of my birthday, I honestly feel like shit everything is wrong today. I feel useless and uncared, my family didn't want to go to have lunch with me even though they say they would yesterday, and yes they gave me a present but does it really matter if they disappear and leave alone this day?\nI came home from school wanting to go but it didn't happen, I took a nap and woke up more sad, this has been building inside me for a while I guess. My sister is angry with me I don't know why, she's just is, I just don't know what went wrong today, I wanted to have a nice time and here I am, on the verge of tears depressed as shit and no one caring, and I feel like if I act like this they will think I'm ungrateful cause they gave me a gift and that deserves a happy face from me all day. I'm not happy.\nI honestly don't know where everything went wrong today, I just wanted to have a good time this day, I've been stressed so much at school and work and it's just great that the only day I wanted to unwind everything is shitty.", "summary": "Today is my birthday, my sister hates me today I have no idea why, my dad is in his room watching Netflix and my mom isn't home. No one cares."} {"id": "t3_wf703", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "LDR question - How often should you stay home to talk to your SO?", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nI'm a 20F who's been dating a 21M for over a year.\n\nMy boyfriend and I are currently in a quasi-long-distance relationship. We live relatively near each other, but my parents are unsupportive of the relationship (for various reasons)\u2026 So the time we can spend together is extremely limited. In fact, the majority of the time we \"spend together\" is online, like most LDR couples.\n\nLet me start off by saying that I'm extremely supportive of my boyfriend spending time with his friends. I've learned over the years that time apart is necessary for a happy, healthy relationship. When he tells me he's going out and getting offline, I'm all smiles, and I send him off with a big \"Hope you have fun tonight!\" I'm all for independence, I really am. I'm not one of those girlfriends who expects their boyfriend to drop everything they're doing to come talk to me.\n\nBut the thing is, he goes out every single night\u2026without fail. He's gone from around dinner time to 3-4AM. He sleeps all day, wakes up at around 4-5PM, we talk or hang out (if possible) for around an hour, and then he leaves again to go out with friends. \n\nEvery time I try talking about it, he gets extremely riled up. So I just ended up giving up on discussing the issue. But yeah, the other day, when I had a horrible, horrible day and wanted to talk to him for a while, I just acted a little sad that he was leaving, and even then he started getting angry. \n\nI presume that this is an issue that at least some LDR couples go through. Is this something that I simply have to get over? Am I acting selfish / spoiled for wanting him to stay in once in a while?", "summary": "\u2013 Quasi-LDR boyfriend spends every night with his friends. Is it wrong for me to want him to stay in sometimes?"} {"id": "t3_2hhwbe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Too early for a diamond ring? No idea how to proceed... Me[29/f] He[27/m]", "post": "We met while working overseas. We work for different companies, though we're in the same field, so we ended up spending a huge amount of time together for three months. He ended up getting really into me and I made it clear that I wasn't looking for anything serious. I made it clear that our \"thing\" was just for right now, and that I felt it wasn't meant to last. At the time, that's how I felt. \n\n I was sent back home and he remained overseas, during which time we kept in constant contact. I ended up missing him much more then anticipated. He insisted that we see each other again. I agreed to come and see him so that we could get a gauge on what a relationship would be like OUT of a work environment.\n\nHe paid for my flight after much insistence and now I am here to spend some time with him *out* of a work situation. Everything is going well, but today is my birthday and only my 6th day here and he gave me a spectacularly beautiful diamond ring. \n\nOoooook. \n\nSo I was floored. This thing is magnificent, and he insists it's just a birthday present, but I still don't know how serious this relationship could potentially be...and I think it would be unethical to accept this. I have no clue how much this thing could have cost, but it looks like it was a lot. No one's ever gotten me a diamond ring before. Or a diamond anything. \n\nI really like him, but I am wondering if he's the type to move far faster then I am. I am so flattered, but now I am also a bit scared. \n\nWhat do I do here? If I still feel fond of him, and I leave here feeling *just* fond of him, then I can not possibly take this amazing ring with me. I think it would be wrong. And even after coming here to figure out how we'd click out of an intense work environment I do not know if I could love him like he'd probably want me to.\n\nJeez, how the hell do I handle this?", "summary": "Non-serious relationship and I've been given a diamon ring not even a half-year into it and I don't know what path to take."} {"id": "t3_2zdrrp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (24m) and my friend (27f), she bailed on meeting up, is there a problem?", "post": "This is the same girl as from my previous posts (see submitted history for more info).\n\n---\n\nAnyways, she started talking to me on FB again a month or so after she got back from her trip, and in general things have been pretty okay. She has been busy because she started a new job. I still find this a little questionable as no matter how busy someone is, I don't know anyone who really stops checking their Facebook.\n\nAnyway, I digress. About two weeks ago, I asked if she would be up for hanging out. She seemed pretty up for it. She said there was a good chance she'd be free next weekend; the next day (Monday) she tells me that she might be going skiing during the weekend. I told her that was totally fine, we could hang out some other time, but she assured me that it was only a \"maybe\" and she'd let me know. \n\nThursday comes, I send her a message asking if she was going on the trip. She replies early Saturday saying she was busy the past few days (to justify why she never responded) and said she ended up not going on the trip. We chat about a bunch of random stuff and I send up asking her if she's free the next day, she stops responding. She finally responds Sunday evening saying she didn't see my message because she was busy cleaning her room. (???)\n\nAm I overreacting or does it seem like she really doesn't want to hang out with me? I realize I'm being kind of needy by asking this but given the signs... It's entirely possible she's just stressed out about her new job but I'm getting the feeling that's not the entire reason.\n\nWhat should I do? Am I overreacting?", "summary": "Girl I've been talking to a while (and casually hanging out with) has started to avoid talking to me. We planned to hang out but she bailed on me and never really said anything until after the fact."} {"id": "t3_489hd1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Alright I (20M) need help with my ex (20F)", "post": "Quick timeline-\n-Met her freshman year and \"fell in love\" (she was my first a lot of things), dated for a year and a half\n\n-Basically lived together for 7 months\n\n-Signed up to study abroad together for Jan 2016\n\n-She went home for the 2015 summer (she lives 700 miles away) and became depressed\n\n-Visited her in the summer a few times, and when she came back for sophomore year she was not the same\n\n-Helped her and trucked along in the relationship until christmas break where she went home again\n\n-She abruptly ends the relationship and starts a new \"relationship\" at home with her male best friend on New years 2016\n\n-I turn into a complete emotional nightmare\n\n-January 26th we leave together for Europe\n\n-We live about 15 feet from each other here and have to do everything together\n\n-We fight and have sex and then fight and have sex some more\n\n-Until this past week where we fought and I put an end to it harshly.. She told me her new BF was coming for spring break.\n\nThen we make it to last night. My entire class is at a club and I am hitting it off with an Australian girl (if you are reading this PM me). We make it to the dance floor and she starts kissing me. Insert my ex. Comes and rips me from her arms and pulls me aside and jumps on top of me. This is a person who claims she has moved on and is not romantically in love with me. I try to get her off but by this point my Australian babe was gone.\n\nWHAT THE FUCK DO I DO? IM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK I CANT DO NO CONTACT FOR TWO MONTHS SHES EVERYWHERE.", "summary": "Studying abroad with ex, she lives next door. She has a new guy, but is still coming for me. Like really coming for me. I am not emotionally alright, and cannot escape."} {"id": "t3_4mf90x", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [24M] am thinking about breaking up with my Girlfriend [23F] but I'm just not completely sure", "post": "Hi guys thanks for the help! I could really use some.\n\nI've been dating my girlfriend for about 3 years now and it's my first 'real' relationship. But for the last few months I've been feeling that it's been going the wrong way. I'm just not feeling it that much anymore. It's kinda hard to explain but I just don't really want to spend that much time with her. The relationship is just going nowhere. \n\nI still love her in a way and still enjoy sleeping together (not necessarily sex) but I feel like we're at a dead end. We've had many talks about this but I know nothing is going to change. So I've made the decision to break up. It's been killing me though, easily the hardest decision of my entire life so far. I'm pretty scared that I'm going to make a bad choice and it's going to absolutely kill her. \n\nSo that's where I am right now, wanting to break up but finding it extremely hard but at the same time not wanting to break up. It's my first real breakup so I don't really know how it should feel, is it ok to still have doubts? Or is the pain a sign?", "summary": "Should I break up with my girlfriend while we still have a good time sometimes and I have the feeling it would hurt me very bad?"} {"id": "t3_35l9lt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22f] with my SO [22m] 4 years, we both suck at fighting and it's ruining our relationship", "post": "I'm not really sure how to explain this. We live together and have for 3 years. Sometime in the last two years the way we fight changed and it is now happening more frequently and the fights are much worse. I used to not mind fighting because we always got a better understanding of what each other wanted in our partners and I thought we came out better following a fight. \n\nNow fights are happening over nothing and we both suck so much at dealing with it that we can't move on. Basically we get stuck on whose fault it is and who owes who an apology and who should apologize first and it just doesn't seem like the way an adult couple should be. If something bothers me, should I just let it go? If he makes a kind of rude comment, should I request an apology? Should I tell him it upset me and not request an apology? Should I just ignore it altogether? Thinking back my parents had an incredible relationship and I never once saw them get hung up on apologies like this. \n\nAny advice will help. This sub taught me how to admit I am wrong so I'm hoping it can help with this as well.", "summary": "SO and I are fighting more frequently over stupid things and our fights elevate because we always get hung up on who should be sorry and who wronged who and something needs to change"} {"id": "t3_2egx2h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girl friend [F 20] told me [M 20] she wants a break after two years. Looking for advice on how to move on.", "post": "Hi everyone, I'm going in to my third year of college and was just told that she wanted a break. My girl friend and I were together for two years and it hit me out of the blue. \n\nWe met three days into our first year and on breaks we lived about ten minutes away from each other. For the past two years we had been inseparable.\n\nShe had just transferred to a different school about an hour away and two days after she moved in she told me that she didn't know what she wanted anymore and that she wanted the \"true college experience\". She says she still cares about me and that shes not sure if she wants it to be over but it feels like she already made up her mind.\n\nThis was my first long term relationship, up until now they were all six months or less. Also she was my first for virtually everything. I'm just looking for advice on how to get over her. Classes starts tomorrow and I'm worried that I wont be able to focus on my school work with everything else that's going on. Any advice would be very appreciated.", "summary": "Got \"put on hold\" by first long term girl friend after two years. Says she might want me back but isn't sure. Looking for advice on how to move on."} {"id": "t3_3s1vsa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(17m) am having trouble connecting with a girl(17f) who likes me and who I like as well.", "post": "We've both acknowledged that we like one another, but the problem is I kind of don't. She's good looking and our personalities click pretty well. I just have a bad feeling about it for some reason. \n\nI've been talking to her for about 3 weeks now, and a few nights ago we went out together for the first time just to sort of hang out. (A few of my other friends were there too) It was fun, but it wasn't like other relationships I've had. There wasn't any super excited feeling when I would look at her. Something just doesn't feel right. What do?", "summary": "Girl I've been talking to for about 3 weeks likes me and I like her. But for some reason I feel like I shouldn't ask her out."} {"id": "t3_1ivg82", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[25F] LTR boyfriend[27M] wants to buy a house, I won't be on the mortgage. Anyone in this situation or have input?", "post": "Hello reddit,\n\nMy SO and I have been together round abouts three years. We were friends for years before that, he kissed me on a friend's balcony and we haven't looked back. He and I try to communicate as best we can (partially due to me trolling /r/relationships).\n\nI realized we were meant to be when we were installing a light fixture in my mother's house. We work so well together, I can't imagine finding a better partner.\n\nThe issue here is our living situation:\n\nOur original plan was to find a rental in a neat part of town, but his parents have offered to foot the bill on a down payment on a house. There are a few places he has looked at in the area in his price range, but he hasn't followed up on them at this point. He did all this decision-making and research without involving me in the process, but we talked about it today. \n\nI've agreed to living in the house he buys, but I don't want my name on the mortgage. He wants to move to a bigger city in five years or so, so I don't see the point in purchasing a house. His roommate is moving out in a month or two, and if he hasn't found a place yet, I will be moving into his apartment temporarily.\n\nI was wondering what you all thought about one partner having the property in their name? Has anyone been in a similar situation? What should we do in terms of property tax, repayment of his parents, and the mortgage?", "summary": "My boyfriend is going to buy a house, I am going to live with him. Uncertain on how to go about this."} {"id": "t3_tatoz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "my inability to take action is resulting in some major regrets now...", "post": "I'll try to keep it short. One night this past year, a close female friend of mine came on to me. We had been talking about our views on friends with benefits, and I assumed that's all she wanted. However, it continued, and I think we both developed feelings for each other. I know I did. I was worried that if I asked her about it, and she didn't return my feelings, then our friendship would be ruined. So I said nothing, and we acted like nothing had ever changed. The end of the school year came (we go to the same college), and we both went back to our homes very far apart. \n\nMy inaction and lack of balls resulted in me never asking the burning question of whether she felt something, too. Is it too late? Are any opportunities that we had now long gone? Would it be seen as weird and clingy to call her and talk about it once and for all? I have a feeling that I missed my chance, and it's just something that I'm going to have to painfully get over, but I really like her, I'm hurting because I feel like I missed something wonderful, and it would help to at least hear you guys weigh in on it. \n\nThanks, and feel free to treat this kind of like an AMAA if you need more deets.\n\n**EDITS**: me, male, age 20. her, female, age 20.\n\nAbout AMAA...i lied a little. it's getting very late, time for bed. i'll keep checking back tomorrow, thanks for the answers so far!", "summary": "friends turned into fwb, turned into developing feelings. i was a wuss and didn't acknowledge or ask if she felt the same. gonna be apart for the next 3 months. is it too late??"} {"id": "t3_xjrph", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is your favorite memory from college/university?", "post": "My best friend from university and I like to bake and cook with each other. One night we decided to make crepes. The shitty little \"kitchen\" in our dorm was about the size of a small closet and one could never shut the door all the way because the doorknob didn't function properly. My friend was unaware of the door problem and she accidentally shut the door.\n\nAfter we mixed the crepe batter I announced, \"I'll get the frying pan!\" To my horror I realized that no matter which way I turned the doorknob, I could not open the door. We immediately started pounding on the window of the door and shouting for help. Thankfully someone in the study lounge heard us. Of course, the first thing he did was stand there and laugh at us and take a photo to record our folly. Then he went back to the study lounge that was full of boys to make many women-stuck-in-the-kitchen jokes. After he came to his senses and remembered that we were indeed trapped in the kitchen, he sought help and a locksmith was called.\n\nTo help us pass the time, some of our friends grabbed a deck of cards and played Go Fish with use by shouting from the other side of the door and slipping cards underneath the door to us when we needed them.\n\nOver three hours later the locksmith (whom we aptly referred to as Colonel Sanders due to his portly stature, white hair, and white mustache) arrived to free us! :D", "summary": "Tried to make crepes, accidentally got locked in a shitty dorm kitchen the size of a closet, many jokes were made, and was freed by Colonel Sanders."} {"id": "t3_1alsrn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[20m/22f] How often does the \"s/he loves you but doesn't know it\" scenario actually happen?", "post": "Hello all! \n\nThe background:\n\nI (22f) have been dating a special someone (20m) for about a month now. Everything is going really well and we make each other very happy-- of course, we're probably still in the honeymoon phase! We haven't spent a night apart since we started dating and one could argue that we spend too much time together (a question for another time!) We've could be moving too fast, but everything feels good and natural so we're throwing caution to the wind and just going with it. \n\nThe situation:\n\nI tend to talk a lot in my sleep and as I hover on the half-asleep edge of consciousness. Apparently for the last week I've been telling him that I love him, which I don't remember doing. I doubt this is a reflex or instinctual thing from previous relationships since I call him out by name and I haven't said (or even wanted to say) \"I love you\" to anyone in years, and I've been in other relationships since then. This is also the first time I've ever said it in my [half-]sleep, to my knowledge.\n\nI've heard somewhere that the subconscious doesn't tell lies, so is this a case of \"I love him but I don't know it?\" Personally I find the notion a little silly, but I wont rule it out. I definitely like him a lot, but being in love after four weeks? That's silly too. \n\nDisclaimer: I'm not stressing about this-- whenever it happens, it happens. I'm just curious about the whole thing, and I'd be interested to see what others think about it! Thanks for your thoughts!", "summary": "I say \"I love you\" to my boyfriend in my sleep. Is the \"s/he loves you but doesn't know it\" scenario a thing that actually happens in real life?"} {"id": "t3_fxx5y", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Can we please cut out this Forever Alone shit?", "post": "Back in high school (before reddit existed) I truly thought that I would be forever alone. I have a vivid memory of sitting in a sex ed class where the instructor started it off by saying \"I don't care what any of you think but you will all have sex one day\" to which my internal reaction was serious doubt.\n\nI ended up going off to college with this mentality, and it was horrible for me. I didn't end up 'Forever Alone' in fact quite the opposite. I was so concerned that I would be 'Forever Alone' that I started treating women like objects instead of people, and attempted to 'acquire' them. I collected a string of girlfriends, all of whom were bad for me. But instead of realizing this I felt validated by the fact that I could get a girlfriend at all. Later when there was societal pressure to have one night stands with girls I wasn't attracted to I once again bought into my fear of being 'Forever Alone' and slept with them.\n\nIn essence, because I was afraid that I would be 'Forever Alone' I hurt myself to make sure that I wouldn't be. I've learned a lot along the way but I went through some pretty miserable years. For us as a community to be perpetuating this viewpoint, I think, only hurts our constituents, and will cause others of us to go through the same process.", "summary": "I thought I was going to be FA, so I got into a ton of bad relationships to make sure I wasn't. It made me unhappy, I don't want to see anyone else do it."} {"id": "t3_2zbni0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] 4 months, didn't check up on me after my surgery today.", "post": "I got all four wisdom teeth pulled today, and while the procedure went relatively smoothly (I did have a pretty bad allergic reaction to the meds they sent home after), I was hoping to receive some sort of text or call from my boyfriend asking how it all went. \n\nFor some background information, he is NOT the texting type at all, and I've mentioned before to him how I wish we could communicate more (with him initiating conversation some times). I understand that he gets distracted by video games and other things, and he claims he often just forgets to respond to my texts...but I feel like it is just weird to spend a whole day without talking to your significant other. Please let me know if my thinking here is rational or not! I would love to just give him a call sometimes, but I know he's usually busy with friends and video games so that's why I opt for texting.\n\nIt seemed like he was making progress in the communication department. He did initiate conversation yesterday before the procedure via text, and the last time we hung out I mentioned my concerns/worries about this surgery (first-time worrier under anesthesia). But the conversation yesterday ended off-topic, then he forgot to respond again, and then today I didn't hear a word from him.\n\nI understand that communication is a two-way street, and maybe I should have initiated conversation today, too. Part of me thinks that maybe he just wanted to let me rest; and since I did end up feeling awful and lonely and sad and NOT restful, maybe I should have reached out to him. I'm just not sure what to really think as it just seems so weird for him to just assume that everything went well (I could be dead for all he knows!!) \n\nI've been having trouble going from my last relationship to this new one, as my ex was way too clingy. Now it's like I'm not getting enough attention! Will I find a happy medium? I want to hear from you guys what kind of communication and how much is normal for a relationship, and I'd also like to know what you guys think of the whole thing because I tend to over-analyze everything! Thanks you guys!", "summary": "Boyfriend didn't check up on me after my surgery--was he letting me rest or did he just forget about me? Am I in the wrong for not initiating conversation today?"} {"id": "t3_t8blm", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU; got to work late because I missed two buses and deleted an e-mail from a boss", "post": "So I was asked to work this morning. Normally I walk to work, but last night I got some Chinese food and wated to bring the leftovers to work for lunch, so opted to take the bus.\n\nSo I look up the time that the bus closest bus should be passing and I go outside and wait at that time. However the bus wasn't coming. I waited 5 minutes after it should have showed before I figured that I had just missed it (maybe it was early). So, I started to walk for another bus stop.\n\nAs I am walking to the next bus stop I see the bus I want to catch leaving. Seeing no point to rush, I walk to the stop hoping a different bus us coming soon. As I am waiting for the next bus, I see the bus I originally intended to take pass by (13 minutes late, might I add). I couldn't get to it by that point. The next bus I could catch only got to where I was at the time I should have been at work, so I was about 10 minutes late (which made me do my first task a little late).\n\nAs I'm working my first hour, one of my coworkers mentions how I have an increased work load today, which surprises me. She mentions how an e-mail was sent and read it off to me. I check my e-mails and don't see it. Turns out, it was sent 12 hours prior and I deleted it along with a bunch of spam I got at the time. So, I had double the work load and had to stay an extra hour, which I didn't know about before then.", "summary": "Saw two buses I wanted to take pass by in front of my face. Late for work. Deleted information I would have liked to have know. But I got Chinese food."} {"id": "t3_3kgk3w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [42 M] with my Friend [38 F] Confusing affection.", "post": "Back in June I reconnected with an old acquaintance after I got divorced. We really weren't super close before, and in fact we reconnected over some online dating app. We tried to date unsuccessfully for about a month, and ended up realizing we made better friends than trying for anything else. There was an awkward phase for a few weeks, but then we continued to hang out and have fun without anything weird and I really enjoyed having a wingman that was a woman. \n\nFast forward a few months of her and I going out at least once a week, chatting daily, and both of us sharing intimate information about our lives with each other and the last few nights out have \"crossed\" the friend line, and was initiated by her. First it started out she simple held my hand while we walked, then she started to cuddle me a little bit while sitting next to me. Then last week I dropped her off after a night out and a typical hug and \"check to check peck\" goodbye ended up progressing into a kiss, and then another kiss and not the kind you give to a \"friend\". \n\nOne thing that she made clear to me when we decided to be friends was she wasn't attracted to me. It was the biggest obstacle, and is why we chose to be friends. If that's changed, cause I don't know if most woman would snuggle and make out with someone they aren't attracted to, what the heck do I do now?\n\nI feel like I have two options.\n\nOption 1: Continue going out, don't make a big deal out of the additional affection, keep it rated PG.\n\nOption 2: Confront her, and ask if she's changed her mind about wanting to be just friends, and worried about losing a friend if it doesn't work.", "summary": "Friend who claimed to only want to be a friend, not acting like a friend and being very affectionate. Is it worth risking it if she's changed her mind but doesn't want to rock the boat?"} {"id": "t3_4oks9a", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Had a windfall a few years ago & invested with a financial advisor. Seemed ok until I saw John Oliver last week and freaked out. I don't understand finance at all\u2014please help!", "post": "Several years back I was fortunate to come into about $500k. For a while it just sat in a savings account, but two years ago I got my act together and hired a financial advisor. Things seemed fine until I watched last week's John Oliver segment on saving for retirement: it made me realize I don't understand where my money is, what my fees are, or whether my FA is even looking out for me. \n\nToday I followed John's advice and asked my FA whether he's a fiduciary and what my fees are: he isn't, and 2%. He stressed that my portfolio is actively managed, which is worth the fees; I shot back that statistically, actively managed portfolios don't outperform index funds. \n\nHere's what I have today: 60/40 split between stocks and bonds, and some sort of small money fund (not sure what that even is). Bank website says the portfolio is 48% equity, 33% fixed income, and 18% cash. I don't know what that means, but it's managed via Blackrock's Socially Responsible portfolio, because I don't want to help the oil companies wreck the planet. My FA talks about ETFs and mutual funds a lot but I don't think I own any of those. \n\nI told my FA that I want to lower my fees to 1% at most, that I want index funds and don't believe in active management, and that I felt that if he truly had my best interests in mind, he would have told me that index funds are a saner, cheaper option that performs just as well. Am I right? Did I miss something? Should I make the switch? Should I fire him? How can I educate myself to understand this, avoid pitfalls, and take control?", "summary": "I have an actively managed portfolio of stocks and bonds. I pay 2% fees and my FA isn't a fiduciary. Should I switch to index funds? How can I get educated?"} {"id": "t3_2sr45r", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "My dog HATES when people shake hands. How do I desensitize her?", "post": "We don't often have guests over to our house, but we threw a party last month and I noticed my dog displaying a weird behavior. \n\nWhenever two people shake hands inside the house, my dog will run over to them, jump up, and try to nip the handshake. She freaks the hell out. At first I thought she was just getting anxious because people were acting excited and loud in the house, but then my husband and I tried shaking hands in front of her when no guests were around, and she did the same thing!\n\nShe's an 8- or 9-year-old lab mix. Female, spayed, adopted from the shelter two years ago. She doesn't display any other behavior like this in the house. She's a little leash-reactive, but we've made HUGE progress on that. When we are home with her, she is calm, loving, and well behaved.\n\nSo, /r/dogtraining, any ideas on how to get my dog to be calm when people shake hands? I have searched the web and this sub for my problem, but all that I'm seeing are threads on how to teach one's dog to \"shake,\" as in the dog and the human. \n\nWhat is going on here? Again, if two people shake hands, she runs up to the hands, jumps and attempts to nip the hands that are shaking. If she doesn't make contact, or if me or my husband intervene, she will sit and stare at the shaking hands, making weird yelping noises like she's extremely stressed out. \n\nMy dog gets a LOT of exercise, so this is not the problem. I'd appreciate any insight you have.", "summary": "My otherwise calm dog nips and yelps when she sees two people (including me and my husband) shake hands inside of our house. How do we desensitize her to this?"} {"id": "t3_11ptu3", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Ex (21F) doesn't respond (23M)", "post": "We had something of a mutual breakup - the relationship was stressing us both out. At her behest, we didn't communicate for the better part of 3 months. I then sent her a card for her birthday, one which she then called me to thank me for. \n\nWhen she called, she said she'd like to grab dinner sometime - we made plans. She called off the plans bc something came up and she couldn't make it. We rescheduled for Monday and, come Monday, she didn't respond. And she hasn't responded. And now I'm thinking she just doesn't want anything to do with me. \n\nI was ready to move on and be friends. My guess is she isn't? She wanted to hang out, called it off, and now isn't responding. It's been 4 days and I think that I'll text her once more this weekend and then not contact her at all. Thoughts?", "summary": "ex suggests we grab dinner to catch up, bails on plan to meet, and then doesn't respond thereafter. Any idea what's going on?"} {"id": "t3_1ldr9l", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Don't let me use your book? Don't save money.", "post": "Last year, I had a class with this guy and we had to read a really short passage out loud during class and I leaned over and asked if I could borrow his book for 2 seconds to read it (it was like a short paragraph long) because I didn't have mine. He slammed it shut, told me \"nope\" in a really rude tone, and put it on the other side of the table. \n\nToday, I saw him in the grocery store. He was comparing 2 different brands of something and then grabbed the box that was on sale and went to the cashier.\n\nHe was having a rough time remembering which phone number he used for his \"club card\" to get the savings and normally when people say they don't have one or they can't remember it, I'll just tell them mine so they can save the couple dollars. Not this time, asshole.", "summary": "Rude guy didn't let me borrow his book to read all of 5 sentences out loud during class once so I didn't tell him my club card number so he could save $2 on his cookies."} {"id": "t3_3shjz3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (29F) ex (29M) followed my sibling on social media. Why?", "post": "Hello everyone!\n\nAbout 8 years ago, I dated this fantastic dude. I was head over heels for him. The time we spent together was fantastic and to this day I have only fond memories.\n\nUnfortunately, our relationship came to an end when he broke up with me unexpectedly. We went NC and I didn't hear from him for many years after that.\n\nSeveral years later, he friended my sister on FB. Many months after that, he friended me. Me and him had a pleasant, friendly, catch up chat and he did express some remorse for our relationship ending, but that was pretty much it. It was pretty platonic. After that, there were some \"likes\" on random photos, but that was it.\n\nA year ago I got rid of my FB account because I hate FB.\n\nA few days ago, he once again friended my sister on IG and \"liked\" an older photo of me and her in it. He has not requested a connection with me and has not reached out to me at all.\n\nI told my current SO about this because it's such a weird situation.", "summary": "An ex from 10 years ago keeps trying to make a social media connection with my sister and I. Why? Why is he doing this? Why is he just creeping and not saying anything? Should I say something to him?"} {"id": "t3_52pt18", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21m] am not sure whether I am ready for settling down with my girlfriend [23f]", "post": "We have been together for more than one and a half years now. She was the first woman I slept with and my first girlfriend. I am incredibly happy with her and I do not believe that any other person could love me like she does.\nWe plan on moving in together in a couple of months since it would turn into an LDR otherwise.\n\nHowever, I am in a weird position now. She is all I could have hoped for and I genuinely want to spend the rest of my life with her. But I am somehow not able to deal with the fact that there are many things I would have liked to do in my life that simply won't happen now. I am afraid of realizing one day how much I missed dating and being uncommitted.\n\nNow of course we are young people in a relatively short relationship, but it wouldn't be the first time that people that age stay together forever and it simply feels wrong to approach this with the assumption in mind that I will be single one day again anyway.", "summary": "I am not sure how to deal with the fact that I am moving towards life with the woman of my dreams when I never really had a single life."} {"id": "t3_34a4om", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (19f) roommate (19f) has her boyfriend (22m) sleep in our room 2-4 nights a week. Am I wrong to be bothered by this?", "post": "Just some background. I have 2 roommates. One has her own room. I share my room to cut down costs a bit. Everything with my roommates is awesome. We're all really close and have never had a problem. Sarah (who I share the room with) is dating a way nice guy (John). He's so nice. Whenever people meet him they're like \"wow, I love this guy. He's great\" \n\nHe lives two hours away. And it's easier to stay here during the week because he goes to school with us. He used to stay with his ex boyfriend who lives nearby, but Sarah isn't cool with that because the ex was trying to get back together with him. \n\nIt was fine a couple of times. But he's like always here. I wake up early for work, and I feel bad when I wake them up. I have to change in my bathroom or closet. I can't sleep sometimes cause they're whispering for hours and he snores. \n\nI don't know what to say to them because I like her boyfriend, and everyone seems cool with everything how it is. I just don't like that he's always in my room. I don't exactly know how to put my feelings about this other than saying that I'm irritated. \n\nI don't know how I would bring this up with them. I don't know if it's a dumb thing to be mad about either. I just need some advice.", "summary": "roommate who I share a room with has her boyfriend stay in our room a majority of the week sometimes. I'm irritated"} {"id": "t3_2o8n4g", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/m] confused on [20/f] girlfriend: How do you know you really are losing interest in a SO and it's not just a phase or something stupid? Please help.", "post": "I've never had this before with her. I would always hang with her since I was always free (jobless). My days were pretty much spent on her, well in a larger scale you can say the past 2 years were largely spent on her. Of course I've seen my friends, but 90% of those 2 years were her, which at the time I didn't mind. Also I didn't make new friends in college so those friends I just said I see are high school friends. Now I got a job back in June, so of course there's new people to talk to and such else. I don't know if this helps my question but most of co-workers are women, MOST not all. So ever since this job I've been wanting to be with her less and on a daily basis she would annoy me, the simple things she does. I don't know if this is just a dumb phase or what. If anything else you need to ask let me know, i'll answer. Please help.", "summary": "Been with this girl for 2 years and most of those 2 year have been spent on her. Now with a new job and new friends, it's a different lifestyle and it's making me confused on the relationship."} {"id": "t3_yt1j8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Just received a major guilt trip from a friend (Details inside). What's the biggest guilt trip someone has taken you on?", "post": "As for what happened today, I was asking some people in a Skype group how their days were going, and someone said that it was \"going alright.\" I then proceeded to reply the same way, saying \"...but I need to do some homework and go to work today, though.\" Next thing I know, there's a giant-*ss text wall on my screen going into great detail about how this guy's great-grandmother just died, and before that she didn't remember him, and his friend now hates him, and stuff like that. Now, I know these things are horrible, truely. However, the fact that he follows it up with \"But I think I aced some tests last week, though, so that's good,\" makes me think that he's just using it as a guilt trip.", "summary": "Friend on Skype hits me with a wall-sized guilt trip. What's the biggest one someone has laid on you?"} {"id": "t3_32mtyq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my BF [21 M] one year open relationship, slept with someone else, not sure if I have feelings for him anymore.", "post": "I go away to school in another country. I come home in May for the summer. Last May, my current BF asked me out (we have known each other for 5 years and have been close friends). I had a crush on him forever so naturally I did say yes.\n\nAt the end of the summer I had to go back to school for my final year. We both decided that our relationship was too young to do long distance. We decided to have an open relationship so we would not have to worry about each other cheating. When I am home for breaks we are completely monogamous, and when I graduate and come home we are going to return to monogamy.\n\nI went the whole school year with not doing anything with anyone else. However, 2 nights ago I slept with someone I have been flirting with for a while. I did not mean to sleep with him but alcohol was involved, and I am incredibly attracted to this other guy. \n\nThis would not be a problem, accept for whatever reason sleeping with someone else made me less interested in my BF. Now I feel annoyed whenever he texts me, whereas before I felt I was in love and I could not weight to come home and be with him. \n\nIs this natural? When I go home to my BF and we resume a monogamous relationship will I get my feelings back? I am worried about how much I enjoyed being with someone else. I feel like a bad person, and I learned a side of myself that I did not know existed.", "summary": "Open relationship, slept with someone else, lost feelings for current BF. Will those feelings come back when we actually live in the same country?"} {"id": "t3_13o0vk", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "My long distance ex invited me over for the holidays...", "post": "We had a perfect 4 year relationship. We never fought, we only had good times together. When we graduated university she went back to her home across the country. She is financially dependant on her family, and I understand that she couldn't move across the country just for our relationship. We had to break up because it would have been long distance forever. That was 2 months ago and we talk around once every 2 weeks. It's really hard to get over her since we didn't have any fights or difficulties with eachother. I want us to be together, but I know it's impossible. I have to get over her. Last time we talked we played with the idea of me visiting her for 4 days in December. She wants me to come. Her family is fine with it and we would be able to sleep together. I feel like it might be a 4 day time machine, where we pretend like we are still together. This sounds delightful to me right now, but I'm wondering if it will have devastating implications for my well being and recovery. Would going to see her set me back to square one in my recovery? Is this playing with fire? Could it actually be positive? Thanks /r/breakups!", "summary": "Broke up because of distance, now we have a chance to be together for 4 days. Do I go, or let it be?"} {"id": "t3_3i75su", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to get over being shy?", "post": "Me (23 M). Her (19 F). I meet her from a friend and we went on a few dates. We talked and got along well. But i have always been very shy. She put an effort forward to show that she likes me but I was too shy to return it. I constantly have this fear in the back of my head that I might do or say something that might push her away but in the end because of that I do nothing. Im not sure what to do here now. I feel like because I did not do anything I might have given her the idea that im not interested in her. I honestly dont know what to do to get over being so shy.", "summary": "im very shy and dont know how to get over it. In being so shy I might have unintentionally pushed away someone I like."} {"id": "t3_1anx2p", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Applied for several internships at the same company", "post": "Hi guys, a few weeks ago, I applied to several (probably five) internships at the same place. It's all under the same summer programme. I wrote custom cover letters for each and tweaked my CV for each. However, after applying, there was a problem with some of the files I attached so I contacted the HR person and she said she lifted the CV from my other application.\n\nSince I had made CVs specially for each position I sent her the right one and things were ok. Thing is, it was definitely (at least technologically) possible to apply for several internships. Each had a separate application. But the fact that this HR woman saw them all feels like it was a bit unfair of me to apply for several.\n\nA few days ago, I got an interview invitation for one - yay. However, it confused me because of the five I applied to, arguably I was the least qualified for this internship. The cover letter was written more smoothly, though. In any case, the HR woman sent me the email invitation and since then I haven't heard about the others I thought I was more qualified for. Do you think it means I've been disqualified from the other positions? I don't want to ask for fear of being pushy or getting an instant 'actually, you were only supposed to get one'. Finally, I realise that it's not in their best interests to use their time to interview me more than once (different interviewers, but transportation paid for). If somehow I was offered more than one, I'd have to turn down one and that seems troublesome. In general if I only get an interview for this one, I feel that my chances aren't very good. \n\nThen again, I might just be worrying too much and maybe the interviewers liked my application in a way I didn't think of. Also the interviews aren't until early April so I suppose there's still time for the other internships. Maybe they're just slow.", "summary": "applied for five internships at same company, processed through same HR woman. I feel like this disadvantaged me since so far the only interview invitation I got was for my least qualified application."} {"id": "t3_224wzq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23 M] friend's [18 F] mom just asked me to break up her relationship with her boyfriend of 6 months.", "post": "Hey everyone, I hope someone can give me some advice on how to approach this problem.\n\nAbout 8 months ago I met this awesome girl in class and we became really close friends, to a point where I was gonna ask her out but then she found a boyfriend. \n\nShe is Armenian, I am Armenian but her boyfriend is Mexican and in Armenian culture, there is this very strict (and stupid imo) tradition that says Armenians have to marry Armenians. But it's 2014 for fucks sake. My friend has been with this guy for 6 months now and her parents think it's just a classmate kind of relationship but they are together as in girlfriend and boyfriend and I'm happy for her that she's not with an Armenian cause I'm totally against that \"rule\". She goes out with him secretly because she knows if her parents find out, she will be in big trouble. \n\nToday, I was at the subway and saw her mother there. She started getting a bit upset and asked me if I knew about her daughter's and her boyfriend's relationship. I said I only met the guy once (which is true) and that's it, I didn't tell her that they are boyfriend and girlfriends. She started telling me that it is not right to be with a non-Armenian guy blah blah. She told me to talk to her and not let her get in a relationship with the Mexican guy but they already are so I don't exactly know what to tell her. Her mom asked me not to tell her daughter that this is coming from her mom. \n\nThis is totally not my business to get involved in her relationship with other men but her mom asked me to talk to her and I'm going to do so but only because I respect her mom. So what do you guys think I should do?", "summary": "My Armenian friend's mom wants me to break up her relationship with her Mexican boyfriend but I don't know what to tell her."} {"id": "t3_2e5vr8", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "[Update] Sent engagement ring to be repaired by Kay, haven't seen it since. The world will soon know!", "post": "[Original post](\n\nFirst off, thank you for your comments, support, advice, and the sharing of my story. \n\nAfter I posted this, the media contacted me back, and everything moved pretty quickly. With the pressure of the media, getting my ring back went from \"6 to 8 months\" to \"next week\". \n\nOn 8/11 Kay called to say my ring was back in the store and ready to be picked up, so my husband and I went right over. The ring was mine and looked great, they re-plated it with rhodium and it honestly looked like the day I got it, except for the diamond. The new diamond looked like crap. This is my engagement ring ffs! They did also send some compensation in the form of a Kay gift card. \n\nWe went who an appraiser who said it had a large imperfection and a smaller one. I was not happy. These imperfections were visible to the naked eye from not only the side, but looking straight on. \n\nWhen we got home I called Kay and explained how unhappy I was. I was happy with everything but the diamond. I told them how my original diamond had no visible imperfections. The guy asked my ring size, said he would work on something and call me back soon. \n\nWhen he called back, he said he contacted our store. They had my ring in the store, so I could take that one if it was okay, or if I didn't like it, they could send my ring back for a new diamond. The ring in the store ended up being perfect, so we took it. My husband even proposed again since it's a new ring, which was super sweet! \n\nThe news came interview us on Tuesday, and our segment is airing today.\nI just want to protect other people from this terrible company and their terrible customer service! It sucks that I had to contact the BBB and the news to get a new ring, something I asked for several weeks ago!", "summary": "Once the media got involved, everything sped up. Kay returned my ring with a new crappy diamond. Called and complained, got the ring offered in the store and took it. My story will be on the news tonight."} {"id": "t3_4e0wnc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [16/M] ask out my friend [16/F] or should I wait longer?", "post": "I used to date this girl for like 1 and a half years. I ended it because I was stupid and didn't want a relationship, we stayed really good friends.\u00a0\n\nShe then started dating this guy who I am friends with, he is basically me (my personality) but older and has money. \n\nShe recently broke up with him and started hanging out with my family more (my mum and her mum are friends)\n\nWe go out alot as families and go round each other's houses\n\nShe calls me annoying alot but not sure if flirty or what\u00a0\n\nBasically what I am asking is should I wait a while and ask her out or just move on?\n\nPeople always mention us going out and we both kinda get embarrassed and blush", "summary": "Went out for 1 year and a half, broke up because I'm stupid, she went out with different boy, broke up and now i want to ask out."} {"id": "t3_33zxs3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "A girl [19-ish F] is hitting on me [19 M] but I unfortunately don't like her back. How should I handle this?", "post": "A girl who recently joined the club I'm in in college has gotten particularly close to me and I have good reason to believe she's hitting on me. I've hit on girls before and I know how I act when I am crushing on a girl, and it's not too different from the way she's acting around me. She's a really nice girl and I enjoy her company. However, I don't like her in *that* way. I've been on her side of things before and I know how it feels to try to get close to someone, and worse, I know how it feels to consider someone your friend only to find them removing you from their life when you confess your feelings to them. I know how it feels to walk five feet away from someone you once considered a good friend and they don't give you so much as a nod because you confessed your feelings to them and they shut you out, and I would hate to be that person. And we're in the same club anyway, so that would make things very awkward. But at the same time, I don't want lead her on because that happened to me before and it doesn't feel good when reality comes crashing down on you. It's a tricky situation.", "summary": "girl probably likes me, I don't like her back in *that* way, I don't know how to handle the situation. Help."} {"id": "t3_1xdx10", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 2 years off an on, can't decide if we should break up or try to fix it", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating (off and on) for 2 years now. It's been 7 months since we've gotten \"back together\" after a small break. We are in our last semester at college. \n\nMy boyfriend believes we should break up so that we don't end up hating each other. I feel that we can fix things, realizing now that much of the fault is mine. About a year ago, my boyfriend did some stupid things while I was abroad and I still haven't completely gotten over them. I feel insecure. He continually feels guilty. However, I'm realizing that I haven't even tried to let go... and am willing to make that effort. I'm asking him to give me a chance to try, to stop blaming him, and to take responsibility for my own actions. \n\nHe is torn and as am I. Because we both see the positive in breaking up, but we both want to stay together. We really care about each other, but we have a lot of really tough days where things from the past just haunt us. Sometimes I can be mean, but I want to let go of this resentment. He thinks it's a big picture thing keeping us down, whereas I see it as day to day hardships that can be conquered. Will this go away with work and love? Or would it be best to just end it now, knowing that we'll never overcome this?", "summary": "My boyfriend and I are having a hard time deciding whether to end it or to try to fix things that are rooted in past mistakes and pain. "} {"id": "t3_2gor69", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "During interviews, I [25/F] slept with a graduate student [25/M] in my department", "post": "After graduate school interviews for a PhD program last spring, I went out to a bar with some graduate students already in the program. I got fairly drunk and ended up sleeping with one of the grad students. I am pretty sure some graduate students saw us leave the bar together...I know I should have been more discreet.\n\nWe stumbled to his place and started having protected NSA sex, which was fun. I was sober enough to give consent. In the middle of sex he started trying to have unprotected sex multiple times, which I refused (he took off his condom and tried to penetrate me, I had him put on a new condom, he tried to take it off, hoping I wouldn't notice, I ended the sexy times). I think unprotected sex is really wrong to push on anyone, especially on a stranger!\n\nNow I have chosen to come to this school to start my PhD program. I have mixed feelings about the hookup because I feel like the grad student tried to take advantage of me while I was drunk by trying to sneak in unprotected sex. I don't want things to be awkward between me and this student because we have a lot of research interests in common so he would be good resource to talk to about courses and research. But I don't want to talk to him with the hookup hanging over my head. \n\nSo I'm wondering, how do I interact with this guy? Should I pretend the hookup never happened? How do I have this guy treat me normally, like a coworker? I am not interested in hooking up again, and I doubt he is either. We don't have the same PI but we will both be working in the same small building so I can't really avoid him.", "summary": "Slept with a grad student during graduate school interviews, how should I act when I see this guy in the hallway or in class?"} {"id": "t3_1reji9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my [16 F] dont have anything in common and nothing to talk about", "post": "Well alright so i have math with a girl and she and i started talking alot! She has a locker right next to me so i see her everyday. I asked her out to a movie and a dinner. It went great! I asked her out the next week, She said Yes!\n\nWell now that we are talking alot the conversations are not going so well. Theres no flow and really kind of dont know alot about each other. We talked about this today. She and I both agree that it was a little quick and that we should be really close friends and learn more about each other before we move on. Im taking her out on a picnic on wednesday, for some one on one time. Because everytime we went out some where there was always other people there along with us.\n\nIm very open to her and like her for who she is, but she says it was a little to fast and wants to know be better. I dont want to get into the friend zone and i really like her. I already kissed her. In the movies we were cuddling with each other.\nIm kind of confused on what to do right now on what to do. Do i just become a friend to her, how do i make her feel comfortable around me?", "summary": "She says we went to fast and wants to get to know me better. Possible friend zone? how do i prevent it"} {"id": "t3_4p0o1o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of 7 months, have completely stopped having sex and I don't get it", "post": "I know the age gap is crazy to people, the whole \"barely legal\" stuff and all that but the age thing aside our sex life should not be nonexistent. I will cut him some slack because he has to work like 60+ hours a week but still he should want me at least occasionally right? Also, he currently started smoking again- almost a pack a day- \n\nHe is a very attractive man and I know he could get anyone he wants (as could I) but I don't think he would ever cheat, when would he have the time? Things started slowing down over the past couple of months. I asked him a couple days ago if he ever \"pleasured himself\" and he said he has....in the bed...while I was sleeping next to him (what the hell!?!) I even asked him once if we could fool around and he got so offended. He has reassured me before that he is still attracted to me in that way but he doesn't show it and if I ever ask questions regarding this topic he gets so upset at me, acts like I'm interrogating him.\n\nI am too young to be dealing with this, but should I continue to cut him some slack and wait to see if there is a light at the end of the tunnel or should I just count my losses and end it? He is also too young to not want sex whatsoever, I just don't understand.", "summary": "Zero sex life over the past couple of months and we are way too young to have this problem. What should I do? Will this ever get better?"} {"id": "t3_186k9s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[23m] am talking to a [16f] with a 5 month old. Is it worth the time?", "post": "**Bit of clarification: we've been dating for just shy of 6 months. Not very long, I know... Also, the age of consent in my state is 16 with no age gap stipulation.**\n\nIts been extremely hard to bring myself to ask others about this because just from the title alone, people will instantly make a judgement. Obviously she was irresponsible at one point in time and she's quite a bit younger than me, but just hear me out. Just to put it out there, my parents started dating when my mother was 17 and my father 27. They've maintained a successful and happy marriage for over a quarter of a century and raised 3 kids.\n\nSeveral months ago, I hit it off with a waffle house waitress (stick with me). I thought we were around the same age until she mentioned having a 5 month old child. She says she was in a relationship with a 19 year old guy who jumped ship when he found out she was pregnant. They didn't necessarily plan to have children, but after a certain amount of time, they stop using contraception. They were both stupid to do that but she felt like they were in a stable relationship. \n\nI have stable work with great pay. I could easily provide for her and her child, but I'm afraid of being used. I also don't want to waste time and resources on someone who will just move on when she gets bored or finds something she likes better. She's still living at home and is still financially supported by her parents for the most part. She's not a party girl, a drinker or a drug addict. \n\nI'm only 23, but I've had more than my fill of dating drama and I'm ready to settle down and build a life with someone. \n\n* Is our age gap going to present challenges that we won't be able to overcome?\n\n* Other than straight up having the conversaion, how can I tell if she's not ready to settle in the same way I am?", "summary": "23/m dating 16/f with 5 month old. I'm ready to settle but I'm not sure if she is. I'm also afraid our age gap will cause too many issues"} {"id": "t3_nfh6k", "subreddit": "self", "title": "My roommates suck am I being an jerk by doing this?", "post": "I've tried everything with my roommates in order to get them to do their share of cleaning/etc. I even went out of my way to design a chore calendar, that was completely fair. This worked for like two weeks and then they just stopped doing it. I just can't take it anymore, I'm not passive agressive and I always confront them. Enough is enough though, right now I pay half the rent, I have a studio and a bedroom railroad style. The 3 of us share a 4bedroom duplex. I pay 1200, they pay 650 and 550 respectively.\n\nThis morning I woke up to dishes all over the sink, used trays for cooking on the stove, a wad of hair on the side of the bathtub, no toilet paper, stains on the counter top, empties on the kitchen table and downstairs, packages that have been delivered but never opened, stacks of magazine that haven't been recycled the list could go on. I just kind of was like I can't do this anymore, I've tried but it's just not working, so I called them and told them we need to have a roommate meeting because I'm just tired of carrying the apartment on my shoulders. \n\nI am going to suggest that there rents go up to 750 and 650 because of the amount of crap I have to deal with and if they don't agree I will suggest they move out because I won't have a problem finding people to fill their rooms. Is this fair? They are good people but they are just completely disrespectful of the space. What is the best way to approach this situation? I just never really had to deal with this before.", "summary": "My roommates do all the roommate bullshit, pay close to nothing for their rooms considering the space, so I intend to raise their rents or get them to move out. "} {"id": "t3_28hucm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25 M] keep making mistakes...", "post": "When I broke up with my girlfriend it felt like it was the right thing to do. I wasn't ready for a committed relationship and she wanted to marry me. It shattered our hearts but I broke up with her, she hugged me so hard to not let me go I couldn't believe my heart could be more broken but it got. There was never another one on my side, I just didn't want to hurt her more in the future but I still loved her.\n\nTime passed and I'm still unable to live my single life, I still see her in my dreams and imagine myself getting her back. When I finally start to realize it might have been a mistake not only did I learn she was getting it on with a friend of hers already, but that the very next night after the break up she got blind drunk and she slept with her companion (I don't know if it's the same guy). Our common friend who told me this made it clear they don't have a real relationship (it's only sex...like that helps...).\n\nI've been asking myself if it's even worth it wanting to get her back now, I know she'd take me back, but I feel so betrayed even though we weren't officially a couple anymore. To make it worse, since I learned about those things the pain for her has only increased and the deception only works to make me feel angry and frustrated, I couldn't imagine myself touching another woman but she...\n\nI'm a mess, I'm confused. Another thing that happened when I learned about those things is that I got so angry that I threw all her pictures and gifts to the trash, now I find myself regretting it and unable to rescue the stuff.\n\nIs it wrong for me to care so much about what she did after the break up? Do you think things have a chance of working out if I get over that stuff and look for her? Was it wrong for her to do that?", "summary": "I broke up with her but I realized I missed her too much, by that moment she had sexfriend already and I can't get over it."} {"id": "t3_1ajctx", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Collectors calling about a debt I don't think I should have to pay... Can I stop them?", "post": "Almost 2 years ago I met with an advisor at a community college. I had full intent to being a few online courses assuming that they were within my budget. I took the aptitude test and was given a list of classes that I should consider. She even showed me how to use their website to sign up for classes and then I left. \n\nI decided not to enroll at the time since my hours were cut at work and I had real bills to worry about. \n\nAfter a few weeks I got curious about the courses being offered next semester and logged into their portal. When I checked my .edu email I saw several notices for an online class. I had no idea that the advisor had signed me up for a class while what I though was a demonstration. I was never even asked to pay for the class at the time and had never logged into the course before that day. \n\nSo begins the problem\u2026\n\nI tried to drop the class but it was too late. I tried to reach out to the college but they denied removing me from the class. About a year ago the debt was sold to a collections company who have been hounding me ever since.\n\nI've tried to explain to everyone why I don't feel responsible for the debt. I've pretty much dodge the collectors for a year. \n\nToday I answered a call from the collector thinking it was a call I was expecting. I explained to him again why I did not feel responsible for the debt. I told him I was going to seek legal representation and he inquired what steps I've taken since this is the first time I've mentioned doing so. He got a little upset and continued to try to guilt me into accepting the debt. I requested that he no longer call and to send everything by mail. At first he ignored my request and asked again about who was representing me. I told him firmly again to mail me. \n\nWhat are my options here? Can I seek legal representation? I've never had to do anything like this before.", "summary": "Receiving calls 2 years after incurring a debt I don't feel responsible for. Am I stuck paying for this?"} {"id": "t3_2d459b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it too soon for me [27F] to invite him [25M] to a wedding?", "post": "Hi /r/relationships - I need some advice! \n\nI've been seeing this really awesome guy for a month now; we connected super fast, and see each other at least twice a week. I don't want to jinx it, but it seems like it is moving in the \"relationship\" direction. \n\nWell today I officially got my wedding invitation to my sister's wedding in the mail - and I would absolutely love to invite him. If we were just friends and there was no romance at all, I'd still want to invite him - I just know I would have a much better time if he was with me. The wedding is in late October. \n\nBut there's always a but...the wedding is in Florida and we live in Connecticut. If it was just down the street, I don't think I would feel as mixed up about it. Yet - I already have my own hotel room, that was paid for by my sister, and the flights are covered with points. So he wouldn't need to spend any money. And I know one worry with weddings is that its meeting the family...however the vast majority are the groom's family, with only my parents and another sister coming from up here. \n\nI'm leaning towards just asking him in another month, because I know if I don't I'll wonder the whole time if he would've said yes. But at the same time I don't want to ruin things or scare him off!", "summary": "Is it awkward/too soon for me to invite a guy I recently started dating to my sister's wedding out of state?"} {"id": "t3_1s1g7s", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "LGBT People: How do you deal with people defining you by your sexuality?", "post": "I work at a comedy club, so there's a constant stream of inappropriate shit being said by the comedians and employees. All the male servers and all the cooks could be fired for sexual harassment if anyone ever decided they weren't playing along.\n\nFrom the moment I walk in the door, I started getting jokes about \"Oh, look who's here Alfonzo (the dishwasher), it's your boyfriend.\"\nThey have the sense of humor of thirteen year olds. Always telling me to grab someones ass or make a move on them. \"Why don't you fuck Chris?\" The only other gay guy working there. \n\nI'm just so sick of it, and I know it's all in fun, but my sexuality isn't what defines me, and I can't help but think that through all the constant joking (even how the straight guys constantly grope each other jokingly), they do view me as less than them, or weak. Honestly, if I was from China, would it be funny or OK for them to make fun of me for eating rice or drinking tea, or having slanted eyes? \n\nI've been told it's just them trying to include me. Maybe it's just my own insecurity with myself that I feel I shouldn't put up with it. I think I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, but this is making me wonder. I just don't know how to react to these jokes, because unlike Chris, my sexuality doesn't define me. I don't go making jokes about sucking dick or getting fucked in the ass. I just don't know what to do. I'm not a clown.", "summary": "We all know how straight guys joke about being gay for each other and stuff, but in this situation it's extreme, and I am gay. I just don't know how to react when the joking is directed at me"} {"id": "t3_47beua", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M/21] had a breakup ages ago and now no hope for reconcile with [F/19]", "post": "I am 21 and my ex SO is 19, we were a long distance relationship for 2 years.\n\nWe were friends for a long time (5 years) and we got in a relationship 2 years ago. Last November 2015 we broke up due to distance, university and arguments.\n\nIt lead to her breaking it up, I was and still am heartbroken but I had hoped for a reconciliation and a new start to a relationship together. \nI sent her a Christmas gift and even sent a Valentine's gift, I had thought everything was going well, we had a few arguments again but we were doing better than before. As we are long distance we facetimed everyday and she regularly flirted and told me she loves me, I was happy and thought a reunion in the future would take place.\n\nI had my suspicious that she has been talking to a new guy, while we were on FaceTime she would pause our conversations to text someone back. I confronted her last night and she was honest and told me she met a guy, she's texting him and they went for coffee together. I understand we broke up and we are single therefore I appreciate her honesty and that she told me but I feel heartbroken. She told me she wasn't ready for a relationship as university wasn't going well and now she tells me she's found another guy just last week and she's interested in him and he's pursuing her and it's mutual.\n\nCan I ask for advice on what to do. I still love this girl and hope to be with her but what she's said has broken my hope.", "summary": "Girlfriend broke up due to arguing, things have gotten better and we have been close. Suddenly finds new guy and tells me she wants relationship with this guy despite telling me she loves me everyday."} {"id": "t3_4b3j3w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27f] don't know how to respond to my ? [32m] blowing hot and cold.", "post": "What is going on this guys head?\n\nMe and potential bf are currently long distance, but we have met in RL before but we were just friends back then. We have been in contact every single day through text, calls and Facebook. He always sends me a good morning message as well as wishing me good night too. We talk about everyday life stuff, personal stuff and for the last month there's been lots of flirting and the occasional sexting session.\n\nI have asked him what 'we' are and he has said that he really likes me and can see this going somewhere and he wants to meet up again when he comes to live near me in a few months.\n\nHe told me he has difficulty trusting a woman when she shows interest in him because he had a long term emotionally abusive relationship a few years ago where she basically faked the whole thing to get his money and destroyed him emotionally in the process. I told him, I understand and I am happy to let him take the lead so it's at a comfortable pace.\n\nBut he blows hot and cold all the time and it's so frustrating. He'll act like a boyfriend one minute and get very platonic. He'll text me all day and phone me then I'll barely hear from him at all apart from maybe a checking in text. He'll open up to me about something and then completely close off for a few days.\n\nWhen he lets go and acts himself and not so 'in his head', he is an amazing guy and it's that that makes me wan to pursue something with him.\n\nMy question is, how do I respond to this? I've just been remaining consistent and not chasing when he pulls away, but being happy to speak to him when he returns. It just makes me confused as to whether he actually is serious about this turning into something and he's just 'rubber banding' or if he is just playing with me.", "summary": "Guy with previous emotionally abusive relationship is blowing hot and cold with me. Is this normal for his situation, how do I respond? Is he even really interested?"} {"id": "t3_4r0t6d", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "[SERIOUS][26M] I am beginning to have memory loss.", "post": "I am 26 yrs old, I have Asperger's and learned to hide it pretty good, I have a respectable job and I'm working on the side to start my own business. The stress is too much and my past(last 2 girlfriends cheated on me, self esteem touches bottom) doesn't help me. Neither does the Asperger's Syndrome. \n\nLast month I caught up with some of my old classmates and they started telling stories and i was in them, but I can't remember a thing. I can't remember what happened 2 months ago, what I did those days, if I went out with friends, eg:I went on a trip but I don't remember what I saw what I ate what funny things happened etc. I have some images in my head but it's like I don't have the stamina to remember more. Remembering is very exhausting. I realised this (yes realiSed, europe) and now I am terrified.\n\nNow, why am I asking for advice from internet strangers? Last week I smoked 2 joints and I fear that if I go to a neurologist they will test me for drugs and I'll lose my job. I don't do drugs, before last week I smoked a joint 6 years ago and that's all my experience with drugs.", "summary": "I can't remember 90% of what happened to me more than 2 months ago and I smoked pot last week and I'm afraid I'll lose my job if I go to a doctor and test me for drugs."} {"id": "t3_1cqbag", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "My mom cooks constantly and my dad always brings restaurant-food home. Advice please!", "post": "I started trying to lose weight at the end of February. I told my parents and they seemed alright with it, but my mom seems to not realize that she buys way too much food for the four of us (myself, parents and sister). We have TWO fridges and they are both completely full of leftovers and ice cream and all kinds of junk. The day after I told her my diet plans she cooked chocolate chip pancakes and my dad ordered pizza for dinner. She literally brings food to me every hour or so that I'm at home. My mom is a nurse so she's always telling me I'll be healthy if I just eat what she gives me but if I did that it would add up to about 3000 kcal per day and I'm trying to eat half that! She gets angry when I refuse food and when I asked her if I could cook for myself she just ignored me. \n\nMy dad is also trying to lose weight but he eats whatever my mom makes and hasn't been successful. He never cooks, but on the weekends he always goes out for lunch, so my sisters and I usually do too. He doesn't have a plan and isn't really committed to it. \n\nI've lost 10 pounds (170 to 160) so far but it's been so hard and my mom has not been supportive at all despite her initial approval. My dad is proud of me and has gotten better about buying food for me (he will call and ask if I want anything instead of just assuming I do). \n\nWhat can I do to make this easier? I know it's not supposed to be easy but when my family was gone on vacation for a week (I couldn't go) it was SO much easier to eat less! Without my mom shoving food in my face constantly I ate a reasonable amount. I cooked and shopped for myself and it was the best week for my weight loss so far. How do I convince my parents, mom especially, to let me cook for myself? Or at least not give me all of the food she cooks.", "summary": "My parents buy too much food and it's hard to not eat it when it's in my face. Do I just deal with it or can I convince them to stop and let me make my own food?"} {"id": "t3_4x6u98", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 F] just ghosted my boyfriend [22 M] and feel horrible. Can I save our relationship?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating since April of this year, so around 4 months. We decided to go long-distance once summer started because I had to take summer classes while he had to work in another town 3 hours away. \n\nWe kept in contact daily but towards mid-July the texts and phone calls became less frequent, probably a text or two every other day. Around this time I was also getting busier and more stressed with class, labs, and doctor shadowing. Finals eventually hit at the end of July so I pretty much extinguished what was left of my social life to study.\n\nIt's been two weeks since finals ended, and while I'm back to my normal routine, I haven't contacted him in 3 weeks. No texts, calls, nothing. He texted me a week ago asking me if I wanted to talk. Didn't reply. He called me on Monday, couldn't pick up because I was busy, but I never called him back.\n\nI feel like absolute shit. I understand that I am solely responsible for our falling out, but I can't bring myself to confront him let alone respond to his messages because I'm afraid of the outcome. Heck, I'm 99% certain that he'll break up with me. I'm just too sheepish to face reality.\n\nAll I want to do is apologize and somehow convey to him that my flakiness was caused by my stress, not because of him. I really do care about him, and ideally I still want us to stay together, but I won't be surprised if he breaks up with me because I messed up big time.", "summary": "Haven't contacted my boyfriend in 3 weeks because of stress. Is our relationship salvageable? How should I get over my fear of accepting responsibility and facing him?"} {"id": "t3_2v9yzf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] want to break up with my girlfriend [22 F] of 3 yrs but don't want to hurt her", "post": "we're both in our last semester of college, and we've been dating since our first semester. We have put a tremendous amount of time, energy, and money into each other, and for the most part our relationship is good. She is very kind and loving to me, but the problem is that she doesn't understand me on a basic level, and our personalities have huge fundemental differences. \n\nWe react to everything completely differently, and while this isn't a big deal for most stuff, whenever we get married, have kids, or make serious life decisions, this is going to be a huge problem. We don't see eye-to-eye on anything philosophically, and our dispositions are very different. She is uptight and very cynical, while I am laid back and pretty much never say anything negative. \n\nI don't want to spend the rest of my life to this girl, and I even knew that 3 years ago. Objectively, however, I can't find a reason to break up with her. Most guys would love to be in my shoes. I have a girlfriend who is very pretty and cares deeply for me and has tried so hard to be interested in the things that I like, but we are very, very different people at our cores. I know I want to break up with her, but I don't have the courage or justification to do it. What can I do?", "summary": "I have a girlfriend who loves me, but is fundamentally too different, and I want to break up with her, but I can't justify doing it."} {"id": "t3_3ifvpt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my GF [19F] for two months now, get jealous and makes her upset because she says i'm not trusting her.", "post": "Hi,\n\nWe've been together for two months now.\n\nOn monday she started a new work for a week.\n\nShe said it was cool and had 4 coworkers about the same age wich is great. \nAt the end of the first day i asked her how it went and she kept mentioning one name.\n\n--\n\nI allready thought about something suspiscious.\n\nYesterday morning i wake up go to work and when i check my FB feed i see that she becomes friend with the guy.\n\nAs her phone is broke i can only wait until i see her in the evening to talk about it.\n\nHere comes the evening and i decide to ask about the Guy. She seemed like she knew what was coming but didn't want to talk about it.\n\nIn the end after i ask many many questions she finally say that he's been hitting on her during the day but wanted to comfort me and said that she rejected him everytime anyway.\n\nShe says apart from that they are getting along together well. She also add that it's her superior so she can't really say anything harsh so she reject him but that it.\n\nAll of this made me upset 'cause i had to ask many questions before getting to the point and the story changed etc... She said she didn't want me to worry about it and that's why she tried to avoid it.\nIt seems that she hates it because according to her i'm not trusting her. \n\nKnowing that it's only her second work day and it's allready getting to that stage, i'm a bit nervous about the rest of the week.\n\nIn the end i get upset by the actions of her coworker and she gets upset because i get upset.\n\nIt's not the first and that's not gonna be the last so i'm wondering, what should i do ? How to react ?\n\nI know that it's gonna be a vicious circle because if she talk about it and i'm getting upset, she won't talk about it anymore, and i'm afraid getting upset everytime something like that happens gonna make her drift away from me.", "summary": "coworker is hitting on my gf, don't know how to react because when i get upset she gets upset too because she says i don't trust her."} {"id": "t3_uo5ds", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "\"Discipline is remembering what you want.\"", "post": "Normally I lurk around on loseit, marveling at the incredible weight loss stories of so many of you on here. Today I wanted to post a personal accomplishment of my own!\n\nYesterday was my IRL cake day and to celebrate, my family went out for dinner then did gifts and whatnot at home. At the restaurant, I shared a piece of cheesecake with my younger brother (I have cut sweets/desserts out of my diet but it was my birthday and I wanted to treat myself!) but when I got home, my mom also had cupcakes!\n\nNow, I need you all to understand, I LOVE desserts. And I do not mean that lightly. I love cookies, brownies, cakes, doughnuts, all of it. But I want to lose ~15lb that I gained in college and I know a diet with all of those things in it will not do me any favors so I have cut them out (almost) entirely. To curb the cravings I will have a couple of nilla wafers after a meal.\n\nAnyway, back to the cupcakes. Rather than even have one, I brought them with me to a game of hide and seek with some of my younger brother's friends and let them enjoy the birthday treat. I thought about it earlier and realized I didn't even think twice about giving away the cupcakes and I felt so proud of myself! Old me from just a few weeks ago would have had a much more difficult time doing something like that!\n\nThat's all, just wanted to share.", "summary": "Rather than overindulge on my birthday, I donated my cupcakes to a bunch of hungry teenagers at a game of hide and seek."} {"id": "t3_wlpcl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I just found out my flatmate has herpes, after living with him for 5 months. Am I being ridiculous?", "post": "I wouldn't have minded except he should have told me upfront. He might be symptomless but that doesn't mean he won't infect me.\n\nHe's also been extremely blas\u00e9 about sharing glasses and cutlery - insisted when we're out to eat chinese that we share all the food, increasing saliva contamination chances etc. Never mentioned it even when we shared a straw because he wanted to try my drink.\n\nHe tells me he's never infected anyone else, even people he's slept with. I don't think that's the point. He put me at risk unecessarily!\n\nAm I being ridiculous?", "summary": "Flatmate has no problem sharing saliva, but neglects to mention the possibility of permanent viral infection for 5 months. It bothers me he didnt tell me sooner, am I being ridiculous about wishin I was told sooner?"} {"id": "t3_2q5u2l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf [22F] wants to break up with me [23M] after 5 years because of long distance relationship. Advice?", "post": "I met my girlfriend 6 years ago and have been going out with her for 5 years and she is perfect. \n\nWe ve been in a long distance relationship for the past 4 month or so (due to the fact of me doing a 1 year internship and her completing her masters degree oversees; I finish next August she finishes next December). And when I say long, it means 10 hours time difference. \n\nLast 2 weeks she's been acting weird so I asked what's wrong, she wouldn't tell me. After a while I got her to talk and she told me that she is not feeling good anymore, she's always sad and it hurts her so much that we are not together and sharing moments like we used to. \n\nShe said that we re talking less and less together which makes it worse. \n\nShe's coming to spend a week vacation at the end of the month and I was planning to go to hers in March (both trips planned 2 month ago). \nBut now she's saying that she wants to come and talk about us, our relationship face to face (instead of having fun and enjoy seeing each other)\n\nShe kept saying that she loves me so much and it kills her that we can't be together. What I understood is that she wants to break up and maybe we ll see what happens. She's not comfortable with the idea of us not knowing where our future will take us. She thinks that we do not have a future and can't stand that we will only see each other 20-40 days a year tops. \nI thought that we could be strong and sacrifice a bit until we both finish and do an effort to live/work in the same city. \n\nShe ll be here in a week. Any ideas what I can do or what we should do to make this better? Or is this relationship doomed?\n\nHelp me reddit I'm in love.", "summary": "my gf wants to end our relationship because we barely see each other during the year and because of the time difference."} {"id": "t3_dszat", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit! My appartment has mold and our landlord wont do anything about it. What can we do?", "post": "So we have lived in our apartment for several years. We have dealt with the mold since the first winter we moved in (moved in in august and there wasn't a problem). We do everything we can to keep up with it, dri-z-air containers in every room, ionic pro air cleaner, run a fan all night long in the bedroom (burrrr) and I can only clean so much! The windows are old and we have asked the landlord to replace them and they refuse saying that \"it hasn't helped other renters in their units with mold\". They came in to \"check\" the mold, rather they had their maintenance man come in and look at the window sills ask us to clean it then told us he would come back in two weeks to check how quickly it was growing. They did this in June....the dry season...I have taken pictures of the worst of it and sent them to the property management company and had several conversations with the landlord about it. I have taken to every spring doing a cleaning then putting on a fresh coat of Killz but it comes back every year. The mold is under our bed and on the wall that the bed is aginst, behind the desk, in every window and window sill and the sliding glass door, the wood around the largest window in the living room is soft and the paint bubbles during the winter. Im sure we will have to throw out a large portion of our furniture (the one that pisses me off the most is a dresser and desk I have had since I was a child that I love) Moving isn't an option, its nearly impossible to find a place in our town that takes dogs and isn't over run with screaming children. I'm sure this is affecting our health and the health of our dogs but its apartment the landlords aren't going to do anything about it. So, Reddit what can I do?", "summary": "We have mold and its nasty. Landlord would rather be slummy and not do shit about it. What do I do about it?"} {"id": "t3_3busgp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Thinking of breaking up with my[23M] long distance girlfriend[22F] of a year.", "post": "Throw away account.\n\nI met my girlfriend on a dating site when I moved back in with my parents.\n\nSo here's my story. I have been in a relationship with this girl for a year and things are not all bad. She lives a few hundred miles away but we see each other once every month or two and talk a lot. We talk a lot about the future but I haven't told her honestly the way I have been feeling for the last month.\n\nA little background on me; I am a highschool drop out and I am unemployed and living with my parents at the moment. I dropped out of school because of an argument with a teacher, I thought I was the greatest guitar player on the face of the earth, and the drugs I was into may have played a part.\n\nAs it is, I am in no position to even have a girlfriend. I have so much \"me\" to work on and I shouldn't even be thinking about girls. This girl seems to love me the way I am and I am grateful for it but I feel like we are wasting each others time.\n\nI have no idea how to even bring this up to her. She has invested so much into me and I don't want to hurt her. I just think I need to focus on my own person before I can continue this relationship. I have hinted at this before but she usually replies with \"I love you just the way you are.\" \n\nOn top of all that being so far from each other and seeing each other so little often I am afraid that if I were to move in with her things would change and we might not get along.\n\nHow do I start this conversation? Is it possible to do without making her cry or get angry?\n\nThank you for any advice you can give.", "summary": "how do I suggest breaking up to my long distance girlfriend because of concerns of the future and the need to better myself? Is it possible without making her hate me?"} {"id": "t3_4q6jft", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with a good friend [26 M] of 10 years - Invited him to a sailing trip, don't want him to come anymore", "post": "So my girlfriend, two friends of us and me wanted to go on a sailing trip in a few weeks and rent a boat. At first we were not enough people to pay for the vacation (renting a boat, house etc.) so I asked a few friends if anyone wanted to come.\n\nOne of them actually agreed to come with us, even though he knows only me there. Now that two other friends of my girlfriend tag along, I think he wouldn't really fit in that group. I have a feeling he might even make me uncomfortable in a few situations. I'm not sure if I still want him to come with us, but don't know how to get out of this while still keeping him as a friend (I like him, but as I said, I just don't think he would fit in). If I just tell him, we don't go on that trip, he will eventually find out (Facebook photos etc.)...\n\nI appreciate any contribution/suggestion/discussion.", "summary": "I invited an old friend on a sailing trip with my GF and two other friends. I now don't think he would really fit in. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_39yxyb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My mum is annoyed at me [F20] for not telling her that my brother is gay [M20]", "post": "My brother came out to me as gay about a year ago now; he's really quiet and pretty shy but I've had suspicions for years so it wasn't a surprise for me. He was drunk when he told me and although we live in the same house, we don't talk much, generally - he's a bit of a recluse!\n\nWe were talking last night and I encouraged him to come out to our parents when he was ready to. Really and truly, everyone in out family has had suspicions about his sexuality for a little while now.\n\nToday, he came out to my mum and she was absolutely fine about it. My brother mentioned that I knew, but didn't elaborate to my mum and left it there.\n\nEarlier this evening, she challenged me and asked why I hadn't told her. I explained that my brother was obviously very nervous about it and had told me in confidence, so I didn't deem it appropriate for me to jump the gun and tell my family before he did' it's not my business, right?\n\nI need some help rationalising! Was I in the wrong? What would you have done?", "summary": "My brother came out to me a year ago, I didn't tell anyone but now that he has come out to our family, my mum is annoyed that I withheld information. Who's the unreasonable one?"} {"id": "t3_355t7x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my 22 [F] year relationship, Feeling burnt out on being with her.", "post": "Hey Reddit,\n\nI've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now and honestly it's been great so far. Unfortunately recentely I've been struggling with enjoying myself around her.\n\nBackground is she's a master student going for a PHD, I'm finishing up my bachelor. She's a workaholic, basically all she does is work on her study (I really do admire her work ethic) and doesn't leave any time for herself or her hobbies. Now whenever we meet up in the weekends and do anything, she get's tired by 7-8PM and wants to hug or rest her head on me etc. constantly.\n\nAt first I figured it was just cute and allowed it, but recently it feels like the only reason we hang out is so she can take a break from her studying and \"do nothing for a while\". Now I'm an active person, into fitness and have a bunch of other hobbies I do next to my study and work, and it bothers me that she basically uses me as a \"hobby\" to relax.\n\nI really do like her and she's great to be with when she has a break, but I'm just feeling tired from looking after her when she's with me. I'd like to go out and do physical activities together instead of hanging out on the couch... \n\nI'm going to talk to her about it this weekend and confront her about taking time for herself and all that, but what are your opinions on this?", "summary": "Girlfriend is great, but always tired when we hang out and uses me as an excuses to do nothing after studying all week long. How to confront?"} {"id": "t3_2gyjju", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [24M] deal with a girl[24F] who I have liked for over a year now, but it seems she is not ready for anything serious.", "post": "Alright so some background: \n\nEarlier in the year, we both dated each other. I liked her, she liked me. After a while we stopped really dating each other since neither one of us had time, but we still made an effort to talk to each other several times a week. Recently we went on what I think was a date? But she just seems so difficult to like. We have known each other only for a little over a year. We met last September.\n\nBut everytime we hang out, it kind of has to be planned. It can never be like hey, I wake up on a saturday morning, lets go get breakfast. She was engaged before and I don't know if she is just not ready for anything serious, but I obviously like, she knows this, but how long do I really do this for? \n\nI love getting to know her, and I know that I like her. I don't ever pursue anyone (especially for over a year) if I don't like them. But I dont want to push her away by confronting her either", "summary": "I have pretty much fallen for someone, but because of her past it's not really moving as much as I would like it."} {"id": "t3_uwpdv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, whats the weirdest/creepiest thing that ever happened to you following a break up?", "post": "I'll go first.\nSo I'm going out with this girl for about a year and a half, it started off as just fooling around but things got pretty serious fast. Fast forward about two months ago and one of my close friends tell me that he seen her out with some guy at the cinema, at first I thought it couldn't of been her because she had told me that she was spending the week at her moms the night my friend saw her. I try texting and calling her all week but doesn't answer any of it.\nWhen she gets back I immediately ask her was she cheating on me. Not the best approach I know but I was frustrated as hell. She starts bursting into tears and tells me its all true and that she spent the week at this guys place, so i do what any normal man would do in that situation and I lose my shit. We argue for what must have been an hour and we end up breaking up. I clearly remember calling her a whore when she was walking out the door, not my most mature moment.\n\nThis is when it gets weird, about two weeks ago I get a text saying 'You're dead' off an unknown number. I ignore it and then just two or three days after that I'm out with friends, just hanging out and this random guy comes up to us from across the road and punches me in the face. Now I'm kind of a small guy so I drop like a ton of bricks. As the guys runs away he yells back 'Thats for calling my girlfriend a whore'. Turns out my ex got with the guy she was cheating with me with and told him what i called and her. I rang my ex asking for an explanation and she told me 'Thats what you get for messing with his girl'.\n\nSo Reddit now its your turn.", "summary": "Girlfriend cheated on me, broke up, called her a whore, she gets her new boyfriend(who she cheated on me with) to punch me in the face for calling her a whore."} {"id": "t3_2ozdh6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I suck at texting and it is making this dating thing difficult.", "post": "I'm 23 F. Been talking to a guy for a short while now and there's a lot of texting involved. Normally I treat texting as a functional thing (planning, asking a quick question), not as a primary mode of communication. I really like talking to this guy in person, but over text it is so hard for me to stay interested in our convos, and I hate being on my phone all day. I also hate the lack of voice and body language. Makes it difficult for me to respond, and I overanalyze every thing I say. I think: \"well, he might think this if I word this this way, or not quite get what I mean\" or \"what if I offend/give the wrong idea/sound weird/ect??\" I feel like I need to get over it, because this is how it's done, and we can't always hang out with out conflicting schedules. I've also ruined previous potential dates due to my poor texting skills (waiting a really long time to respond, lacking creativity in texting, avoiding it altogether). So I'm asking for help to figure out a way to improve my texting skills, enjoy it, and stop overthinking every. little. word.", "summary": "when getting to know a guy, I'm a boring texter. looking for advice on how to improve and learn to like texting."} {"id": "t3_19nvhz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M, 20] am to go through an arranged marriage at age 30 if I am still single, but I am no success in relationships.", "post": "So I'm 20 years old now, and my mother and I came to this agreement a while ago that if I am still single by the time I am 30, then she is to arrange a marriage for me, with a woman from my home country. I don't really know why I agreed to this, but it's not like I absolutely hate the idea. Or maybe I do, I don't really know.\n\nI've never actually ever had a relationship. A bunch of small things have built up the mindset that I have today, and even though I like myself, it seems like nobody else does. I find it difficult to be happy, when I'm always worried about why I can't find \"the one\" or something.\n\nI guess my life is pretty swell if my worst worries are just troubles of the heart.\n\nNo girl I've ever liked has ever reciprocated my feelings. From the first girl I liked to the most recent one [F, 17].\n\nOne of my friends told me I was a sort of sicko, because I'm in college now and I was into a girl who was still in high school.\n\nIs there a way that I can change my thinking process, or is there something I just might be doing wrong?", "summary": "Gonna be in arranged marriage at 30. Never had a girlfriend. Don't know if I'm doing something wrong."} {"id": "t3_472w6m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My abusive ex's sister works with me now. How the fuck am I going to get through this?", "post": "So title says it. \n\nDated *John for 2 years when I was 18-20. He was verbally, emotionally and in the end physically abusive. I tried getting out of the relationship multiple times but finally with my great friend support, got out of it.\n\nI moved 5 hrs away from where him and his family were located. The sister I thought was sweet but then eventually showed her crazy and suffers from bipolar disorder. \n\nToday, I was going to pick up one of my kids (I'm a rehab therapist in the school system) and run into this new teacher who looked familiar. I think she also thought I looked familiar and kept trying to look at my name tag. I became panicky and walked away. She then introduced her self and my worst nightmare came true. \n\nThe thing is, he's shown up to my workplaces in the past. It was more than coincidence and more than likely if she finds out it really is me, he will try to make contact with me which he will do from time to time.\n\nIt's just wild how I live in a small town, three states over and magically, out of all of the people in the world, she now works there. Last I heard, she was in law school. I know it's coincidence but I literally just wanted to cry the rest of the day because it's just rehashing all of the mental progress I've made. \n\nAnd yes before anyone asks, I am seeing a therapist.", "summary": "My ex's sister now works with me, and I don't know how to interact with her..Should I avoid her at costs? Do anything? Help!"} {"id": "t3_281456", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] with my ex[24M] broke up 6 months ago, want to be friends. Is this even possible?", "post": "My ex and I dated for 1.5 yrs. The last \".5\" year was long distance. We broke up back in early January. I moved on fairly quickly, being an active, social person. He is introverted and a homebody. We have texted several times, usually talking about day-to-day stuff.\n\nWe are now back in the same city for the summer and have overlapping friend groups. He thinks that I'm brushing him off and feels awkward about speaking with me. I honestly don't feel awkward at all. (But I also sometimes have the social finesse of a bull in a china shop.)\n\nHe says I was his best friend for that 1.5 years and that he wants to stay friends. I'd like to be friends, but he expects me to come find him and initiate plans to hang out with him, and that because of his introverted nature, he is \"not the type to make plans\". I told him that's not my job and that friendship is a two-way street, that he could have shot me a text at any time to hang out.\n\nHe seems also to be going through some issues like depression and whatnot. I'm just wondering - is it even possible to stay friends? If so, how?", "summary": "Ex and I broke up ~6 months ago, he wants to be besties, I don't know how to manage that or if I should even try."} {"id": "t3_3l1yfo", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "This guy I know in town had his life story posted online by \"Humans of New York\". Subsequently someone started a GoFundMe for him and he's going to squander all the money.", "post": "He's this homeless guy who hangs out sometimes at a bar I go to. He had his admittedly fucked up life story posted online by the \"Humans of New York\" dude and had his picture taken. Afterwards someone started the charitable GoFundMe for him to help him out or whatever. \n\nIn one sense I think the guy might deserve a lucky break. He's had a rough life, and it's nice that people want to help. I certainly don't want to diminish the struggle of his life in any way. It's just that on the other side of the coin the guy is probably just going to blow all this money away. He's already just bought some drugs with it, and plans on taking a trip west with one of his road buddies. If someone plopped $5,000 and growing in my lap it could change my whole life, but here this guy is just spending it like its money falling from the sky.\n\nIt's kind of like that concept where people say they don't want to give $5 to a homeless guy because he's just going to spend it on beer, and its not really helping him get anywhere. Only its on a much larger scale to the tune of several thousand dollars. So all of these people around the country and world are being taken in by this sad story and giving their money to some guy who's just going to blow it all away on dumb shit.", "summary": "a lot of people are giving money to this guy and it makes me feel bad because I'm watching him just fuck it all."} {"id": "t3_47prc5", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being home alone with a girl", "post": "This started on Thursday during my half term or holiday/vacation I was home alone and decided to invite my girl round. We started by watching TV. After a while we went upstairs to watch movies, after a couple movies I got bored so we faced each other and started getting off.\nAfter an hour of doing this and touching inappropriate places then I eventually moved round to the front and started putting fingers up places. In school on Monday I told one of my friends and another one over heard and started spreading it around the school... She was not happy and is currently in a mood with me won't speak to me or anything I will update. Well I asked if there was a point in going out and she replied NO. Lesson to learn is not to tell anyone if you do anything with a girl.", "summary": "I was home alone me and girl did stuff told one mate got spread around school. Girl not talking to me "} {"id": "t3_2qj3dz", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Not respected or trusted at work for no obvious reason. How can I be more valuable to the department and avoid losing my job?", "post": "I've been at my job for a year in a small department, where I handle conference planning and admin work. I'm good at what I do but still my bosses have been taking away my responsibilities, like outsourcing them to other (less competent) people in the office or just doing it themselves or behind my back. Meanwhile, they're giving me more stupid work, like photocopying pages from books and making charts, *things an intern should be doing*.\n\nIt's not like I don't work hard or do a good job. I do. I take initiative, I make good decisions most of the time. I'm not a very friendly, open person, but I've been working on that and it hasn't made a huge difference. Also we've onboarded an intern in the last couple months, and she's now given way more privileges than me, like sitting in on meetings and getting the \"insider\" department stuff that I don't get. And it also sucks because my bosses still go to the girl who had the job before me but for like a fraction of the time (she still works at the company) for things, like instead of trusting ME and MY judgement, they go to her, when I've already been working there for twice as long as she has. I also feel like when I screw up, it's twice as bad as others. Like for example, my bosses caught me on my phone a couple of times, I got in huge trouble for it, when in reality, that's something *everyone* in the office does.\n\nThe truth is, I'm a really competent, smart, tasteful person who makes good decisions and has done a lot for the department. So I don't really get, and nor do any of my friends, why I'm being so used and abused in this position.\nI really don't know what to do and how to make more of an impact in the department, and how I can keep and gain more responsibility and add value. Can anyone give suggestions on what to do?", "summary": "Job of 1 year I've lost responsibilities all the while seeing our intern become more valued than I. How can I make a comeback and gain the respect I deserve/add value to the department?"} {"id": "t3_2fsr27", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my gf [22F] duration 8 months, how do I get her trust and love back?", "post": "Basically I've been with her for a longer time, 5 years ish but 8 months since we got back) we both cheated on each other at some point (different times, her 3 years ago and me 1y ago), ,when she did it it was because I started having stress issues and mistreated her for some time until she did it. Time passed and I really changed that so we got back several months later (we both had a relation with others in that time).\nIn my case it was because we were LD and became distant because she was having trouble getting over the abuse she suffered with her ex.\n\nWe got back again months later, we both had changed a lot, specially her, a more mature person, finally realized all the wrong things she did in the past and she just felt more serious and changed.\n\nThing is, she has this group of gaming friends, but she talks more often with one in particular, chatting and stuff, but despite that, we were doing great!, and she told me there was nothing between them and there were no signs of it beside my paranoia caused by past experiences, except she told me that in order to get more serious and become more official like we were before, she had to trust me again fully, and I kind of needed to make her open herself again.\n\nSince my insecurity is basically ruinning our own relationship, we got into an argument where she confessed how annoying that was for her (wich is my fault because I bring up past issues often and seems bitchy and jealousy of me), and that it was a huge turn off for her and that it was the reason she spent more time with them now rather than me, it's like I dried part of her feelings for me with my stuff.\n\nSo I wonder:\n\nWhat can I do (aside from stop poking her with my bs) to get her and her feelings back? She says she's with me because she hopes I can change that, and I know i can, but that I ruined part of her feelings with my bs and I want to fix that somehow :(\n\nI hope that at least part of this makes sense, I'm sad and tired and can't think straight...", "summary": "my insecurities are ruinning relationship with gf, how can I get her to trust and love/want me again?"} {"id": "t3_3wqqur", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19f] with my boyfriend [19m] of two years, how do I go about a break the 'right' way?", "post": "So, a little backstory- \nmy boyfriend and I met about five years ago. We were acquaintances for a while, then best friends, then started dating about two years ago. In short, I love him. I would never want to hurt him, I love the time we spend together, he is my favourite person. \n\nHowever, because we have been together for two really pivotal years of my/our growing up process, I'm having a really hard time separating me from him. I feel like so much of my identity is tied to him, and that's honestly starting to make me nervous. I've been in a codependent relationship before, and this is nothing like that. I just think it is a matter of the timing of it all that's making me feel like this. \n\nIt's not that I want to break up with him. I just feel like I need to know who I am as a person without him for a little. I want to push myself outside of my comfort zone, I want to depend on myself for things and not him. I don't want to lose him. I don't think going on a break is a bad option as long as we do it the right way...I just don't really know what that entails. I know I don't just want to go on break to fuck around or to have an excuse to do dumb shit, I just want to find myself a little, as cliche as that is. So I feel like there should be rules to it all - is that fair? I also have no idea how long is long enough, or how to even really bring this up without hurting him.", "summary": "i want to go on a break. is it fair to put rules in place? how long is too long/too short? and how do i even talk about it in the first place?"} {"id": "t3_1jfjlz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I can't let go of someone I can't be with,it's driving me insane.", "post": "So,I (20F) met him (25M) few weeks ago while he was visting my hometown. We met in a club,danced a bit and then left and spent the rest of the night talking to each other until dawn. He gave me his phone number and his e-mail address and told me to contact him if I want so I did.\n\nI texted him a day after that and he asked me if I was willing to show him around town and help him find presents for his family. We spent the entire day together walking around the city and later that same day, we met again to go out and have fun. This was our last night together because he had to leave back to France next morning...after he left we talked to each other every day via email in which he wrote that he misses me and how he wants to be here.\n\nThe thing is that we get along very well and are very comfortable with each other. We were together for 3 days and had a lot of fun and gotten to know each other as much as you can get to know someone in 3 days...I miss him a lot,I met many people after he went back but no one seems to be interesting and I'm not attracted to anyone else at all. I know it's a long shot and that I shouldn't waste my time on something that it's not going to happen but I really can't get him out of my mind. I really do understand that it was just some kind of summer thing but we connected very fast and now I can't stop thinking about it. If someone has a similar story please share and tell me what happened and how did you take it?", "summary": "I really like a guy I met while he was visiting my hometown, he's a very busy person and I'll hardly see him so soon again. How do I make it easier for myself to let it go?"} {"id": "t3_30ayhl", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "I[18M] cannot speak to my love interest,best friend[16F]anymore what should i do?", "post": "So there is this girl that i met,we met on tinder 3 months ago and we've been together for 2 months and a half,we broke up almost a month ago but she wanted to stay best friends\n\nAt first i couldn't take the emotions in fact i even wanted to take my life but i didn't,we used to text eachother all the time like when something happened to her i was the first to know and likewise,even after the breakup it stayed like that.\n\nThis girl used to have a psychiatrist and was the worst experience of her life she said,now on monday she came home from school and her parents forbade her to talk to me because our friendship was going to lead to nowhere and that me and her have too many problems and that if she did not stop she would bring her back to the psychiatrist.\n\nHer mother thinks i'm one of those freaks from online dating that will kidnap her daughter and rape her even if we already met.\n\nIt's been 2 days since this happened and i miss her terribly,i want to know how she's doing how her day's been i want to talk about stuff to her..i don't really know what to do.", "summary": "Can't speak to my Ex girlfriend/Bestfriend anymore because of her parents but i miss her so much,what should i do?"} {"id": "t3_noebh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Did I handle this situation with my friend poorly?", "post": "So my friend is 24, and he tends to like the \"younger girls\". He often jokes about jailbait etc. I don't find this all that alarming, but it does make me a little uncomfortable when he comments on the looks of especially younger girls (14-16 range). So fast forward a bit and he is introduced to my fiance's cousin who is 18. Being a typical 18 year old girl she gets all giddy about him and somehow gets his number. They start texting, and then my friend asks my fiance directly what she would do if he persued a member of her family. Her response, very plainly: \"I would murder you.\" So fast forward a bit more, and my friend is still texting this girl A LOT. She begins contacting me, asking me if he is a good guy. Now is a good point in the story to mention that she lives a good 14 hours away from us, so while the situation is not preferable, it's still nothing I'm concerned about. I basically tell her that as an adult she can make any decision she wants, but she should understand that both me and my fiance don't approve of her getting involved with my friend, and that there would probably be backlash if she did. So me and my fiance at this point are concerned and to be honest, we should have been more vocal to my friend about it. I just honestly didn't think he would do anything to jeapordize our friendship. But I come to find he drove the 14 hour trip just to see her without telling us. And now things are just blowing up faster than any of us could have forseen. Once we found out about this trip we pretty much just stopped talking to both of them completely. Of course this pushed them closer together to the point that now she is MOVING HERE TO LIVE WITH HIM.\n\nShould I have just been happy for him, or am I justified to be pissed that he would do something like this.", "summary": "24yo friend is banging my fiance's 18 year old cousin even though she expressed how it would bother her. Now they are planning to live together after 2 months of \"talking\"."} {"id": "t3_3ddxp3", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Should I invite FMIL?", "post": "As the title states, I need opinions on whether or not I should invite my FMIL.... \n\nFH and I picked our venue a while ago. We did our tasting, and we brought my sister (also my MOH), and FMIL. \n\nSince my mom and two best friends have not seen the venue (and BFF's will be helping to make decorations), I planned a night with the venue that I can bring my mom, two BFF's and sister to check out the venue. \n\nShould I also invite FMIL? She lives about 5 minutes away from the venue, and her and my mom haven't met yet. I wanted to have them meet on Mother's Day this year by taking them out for brunch with FH, but he kind of dropped the ball on getting her schedule to me in time to book anything. \n\nI feel this wouldn't be the best circumstances for them to meet under, I would like for it to be nicer, but I also feel like it's important for them to meet!", "summary": "should I invite my FMIL to come check out the venue with my mom, sister, and 2 BFF's eve though her & my mom haven't met yet?"} {"id": "t3_4b1bfa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Help me [25F] write a thank you/sympathy card to my friend's [19F] parents [50sM/F]?", "post": "I'll try to keep this brief. One of my roommates moved out and a friend of mine (more like a friend of a friend maybe, we were just getting to know each other) offered to take over her portion of the lease. It was almost signed and sealed when my friend's younger sister unexpectedly passed away. Due to her loss and some ongoing health issues, my friend decided to move back home to a town several hours away. However, since I was left to cover the third room's rent from March, her parents felt bad and offered to cover half of it.\n\nObviously I am going to write and thank them for their generosity in such a difficult time. The problem is I'm not quite sure what to say. I have never met them and I never met their late daughter; actually, I don't even know her name. I'm very bad at phrasing delicate things appropriately. I often forget important things or say things that I find innocuous but others find awkward or offensive. So I would really appreciate some help figuring this out.", "summary": "Friend decided not to move in due to sister dying, leaving me to pay an extra month's rent, so her parents offered to cover half. What do I say in the thank you card?"} {"id": "t3_grdda", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, I moved to China with only $1000 and I am looking for a job. Is there anyone that might be able to help??", "post": "Hey Reddit,\n\nI haven't been using the site for a very long time, so I don't know how to do all the links and stuff (I want to put an image of my Resume, but I don't know how to do that - help?)\n\nI was living in Michigan and grew tired of the lifestyle that I had accumulated there, so I made the decision to move to Beijing China. I have been here before, (for about a year, but it was for a different purpose), so I know some of the city pretty well, but now I sorta took a leap of faith with all the money I had (about $1000 after airfare cost), and now am looking diligently for a job. (arrived 3 weeks ago).\n\nPeople tell me that I should do English teaching, but from what I've seen so far (and have done the last time), it's very difficult to make any sort of living off of that and is very unsecured type of work. I have A bachelor Degree and some experience with sales and advertising. \n\nI guess I am looking for some advice or possibly anyone who thinks they can help. Not looking for hand-outs, but just in general I find the Reddit community to be wonderful and I have (for the short time being part of reddit), always found the advice to be great.\n\nI also can speak some Chinese, Intermediate level - fairly good but just not fluent.", "summary": "Moved to China with $1000 and looking for advice/help toward finding a good job, generally something that has a future career."} {"id": "t3_3rujfp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Hey, r/relationships. I [F20] am American, born and raised. My Indian-American SO [M23] of two and a half years officially \"outed\" me to his parents. I could use some advice.", "post": "To give the long-story short, SO's parents have known he's had a girlfriend for quite some time, but have chosen to ignore it (either thinking it wasn't serious, or that it would end and he would move on). A few days ago, he decided to \"out\" me to his parents, and spent several hours making his case and defending me. His parents came to the consensus that they would *consider* meeting me. Boyfriend said he gives his parents a month until they cave and want to meet me.\n\nMy SO and I are rather serious, and while we are still a way's off, we've discussed marriage in the future. So, obviously, it is very important to me that when I meet his parents, I want to make as good a impression on them as possible. They have fears and trepidations about their son being in a relationship with someone that was not born and raised in their culture, and had put up a fight about it.\n\nAlthough born in India, my SO spent almost his entire life living and growing up in the states. He easily identifies as American with regards to his Indian (Gujarati) heritage.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice or perspectives to share? Is there anything that I can do personally (besides the obvious, like continuing to be a good girlfriend) to make this whole process of meeting his parents and --hopefully-- getting along with them easier? I ask my boyfriend plenty of questions about cultural things to keep in mind, do's and don'ts, but I can only nag him so much. He remains absolutely certain that they're going to love me when they meet me.", "summary": "Indian-American boyfriend of 2.5 years officially told his Indian parents that he has a white, American girlfriend. They're \"thinking about\" meeting me, and I could use some advice on the whole ordeal."} {"id": "t3_3rbsqk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Found messages in bfs (25m) messenger to ex (19f) while he would have been home with me (25f). Been living/together for 2 1/2 yrs. What do I do?", "post": "I'm looking for some advice. Tonight my boyfriend and I had \"the\" conversation about out futures and children etc... but something felt off. He fell asleep on the couch and I plugged his phone in so he would have an alarm for work tomorrow. \n\nMy curiosity got the better of me by going into his messages. I quickly found out that in February and March of this year he had been communicating with his ex. By no means does that warrant for a problem, it's the conversation that was. Essentially, she messaged him telling that she missed him etc. And then he replied back asking how things were and then said you're looking rather \"hot\" these days and should be a model because you have the looks. Which was said more than once. \n\nThe conversation then led to them getting together before she moved to a different place. Then she asked of getting together would be more theb friends and his reply was who knows maybe one day. \n\nWhat do I do? This is the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with and raise children together in a loving home. It was in February and March of this year, am I even warranted to be so hurt? I understand that everything I'm feeling is valid but it feels like such a waste that I've put in so much effort into our relationship only to have it thrown in my face.", "summary": "Found out BF messaged his ex earlier this year after he said he wanted to spend the rest of our lives together."} {"id": "t3_4nvyoo", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Question about closing a store credit card, and its effects on my Credit Score", "post": "Hello PF! I have a question about a store card I have opened and paid off in full. My wife and I decided that to reward ourselves for meeting our savings goals last year we would spend a little money and buy a new living room furniture set. So we went to Haverty's and picked out a set we liked and went ahead and opened a store credit card that was 0% interest for 3 years so we could buy everything we wanted at once. Well now it's 3 months later and I've paid off the card in full and it has a 0 balance. I have no plans to ever use this card again. It has a credit limit of 6k and has no annual fees.\n\nWhen I opened the card to purchase the furniture it negatively impacted my credit score by almost 40 points, the biggest factors being that my total credit utilization was around 50% at the time of my last credit report along with the average age of my credit lines dropping because the account was brand new.\n\nSince I've paid off the card my credit score shot back up to 764ish but the average account age is still low. What affect will closing the store card have on my credit score? \n\nI'd like to keep my score as high as possible because we may be buying an investment property at the end of this year and I want to keep it healthy and high.", "summary": "Opened Store Credit Card, paid it off, Want to close it, will there be negative impact to credit score for closing card?"} {"id": "t3_1qh2hv", "subreddit": "books", "title": "Follow up / co-lecture for Nightfall by Isaac Asimov", "post": "Hello fellow literate reddit users,\n\nso university has begun for me just the last month and I forswore the all-day-gaming and want to focus mainly on sports, my studies and literature I am interested in. As I was browsing the depths of reddit I found this hint to the short story \"The Last Question\" by Isaac Asimov and I was left speechless finishing it. I could really identify with the way it was written and it's just what I seem to be missing.\nIn just that post there was a recommendation to his novel \"Nightfall\". Since I \"fear\" falling in love with it just as I did with the short story, considering orders take really long for me (2-3 weeks), I would like to have your opinion on what is worth a read on the same topic as he writes. It can be anything science related, I like plot twists that leave questioning everything.\n\nBesides that: Any engineers, or soon to be engineers here that can state whether I'll be able to identify more with the profession and the whole way of solution finding / problem solving by reading scientific literature, or is it just the same boring stuff comparable to lectures? I have to admit I feel a little bit lost.", "summary": "Started studying engineering, came across what title mentions, looking for something supporting my studies and my well-being, teaching me the ways of maths and science :)"} {"id": "t3_1c405z", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "girlfriend [23f] broke up with me [23m] because \"it's what she needs to do right now.\" Does this make sense to others? Anybody gone through this before?", "post": "She broke up with me because she feels like it is something she needs to do at this time. Her words were, \"I need to be able to take care of myself before I can take care of somebody else.\" We've been together for just under three years and she claims to still love me, but says that I shouldn't wait for her and that if I find somebody else that makes me happy to go for it.\n\nI asked her whether she still wants to make this work, and she says \"yes, if whenever I'm ready and you happen to still be willing to make this work, I would love to be with you.\"\n\nI thought about the possibility of her wanting to see what else is out there in terms of partners, but she claims that \"I don't want to date others and do not want to sleep around.\"\n\nShe even took it to the point of saying that \"we can still be faithful to each other, but owe it to let the other know if that ever changes.\"\n\nNot sure what other females think of this? Is this a way of her \"not hurting me\"? Have any other females gone through something like this? And then had it work out down the line?", "summary": "GF of 3 years broke up with me, says she needs to get on her feet, willing to get back together when she is ready for a commitment."} {"id": "t3_368wst", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Today something doesn't seem right about my (19M) girlfriend (20F) of 4 months.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have recently (temporarily) moved apart from each other, but we still talk every day.\n\nTwo days ago, my girlfriend was working back-to-back shifts - one at night, and one the next morning. She said she would have time to talk to me the following day, after her shift.\n\nThe next day I don't hear from her until almost 10PM, and I'm about to go to sleep. So we don't have much of a conversation, and I just expressed that I was disappointed that we didn't have time to talk. Stuff happens, I guess.\n\nThen at 4AM, I get a drunk knocking on my door, so I call the police to come deal with him, and check my phone after he's taken care of, and see a couple missed texts from my girlfriend at around 1:30AM asking if I'm mad and if I want to Skype with her later today, so I shoot her a text, thinking she'll see it when she wakes up today. \n\nBut she immediately responded, which surprised me. I ask why she's up in a joking way, and she said she was with her friends. In her small town nothing is open at 4AM, so when I ask her where she is, she says she's at a guy's house. But it's okay because he's gay. And he's just drunk anyway ^hehe . And also there aren't \"friends\" there, just the two of them because 3 other people conveniently left in the 15 minutes it took her to text that. And she's still there now (4:45AM).\n\nThis situation makes me feel really uncomfortable, most likely due to being cheated on by two different partners in the past and this situation resembling one of the instances fairly closely. Am I paranoid? What can I do? What should I say to my girlfriend?", "summary": "Temporarily-long-distance girlfriend said she would talk to me yesterday after not having much time to talk with her lately, but she brushes me off to hang out at a guy's house until 4:45AM."} {"id": "t3_2foyz7", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Could the break up/move have made my dog depressed?", "post": "I am currently going through the heartbreak of a long term relationship that I ended and I think my dog is feeling just as terrible because of it. \n\nMy boyfriend and I adopted him 2 years ago but he's really been my dog because my boyfriend rarely paid attention to him. Even so, my dog was obsessed with him. Always wanted to play and if he was around, it's like I was invisible. Anyway, we lived in a two bedroom and gave my dog run of the second bedroom while we were at work. He hated the neighborhood because of all the noise so his walks were always short but he loved sitting in the sunlight in his bedroom and was always down to play. Basically, he was a happy dog. \n\nThen we moved to the west cost and my dog LOVED IT! Outside time was his favorite time. He would always stare longingly at the door and loved to go out to the balcony and people watch. Time of his life. \n\nThe breakup came around and my dog and I moved back to the east coast into my moms place where I am sharing a bedroom with my two siblings. This place drains the life out of me because there is no sunlight. But my dog is taking it pretty badly. It's been just over a week and he's slowly becoming more lethargic and withdrawn. His food hadn't changed at all and I play with him just as much if not more than before and he has two other people that smother him with petting all the time. \n\nHe keeps hiding under the bed and won't respond to commands. He sleeps all day and only wants to play for a few minutes. He hates going out now and the sight of his leash sends him running. He hasn't touched his food all day today. I think he hates this place more than I do. \n\nMy sister took him to her friend's place so he can play with two other dogs and she told me he was wagging his tail and eager to play and roam around. \n\nThis is making me feel worse. I want to make him feel better. What do I do?", "summary": "moved back to east coast from west coast after breakup and my dog is not himself anymore. What do I do to make him better?"} {"id": "t3_2bn6a3", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Can this be considered discrimination?", "post": "Below is a situation where I feel the president of a club I'm involved in has abused his power as leader to discriminate against others. But before I officially report him, I want to know whether this could actually be considered discrimination or not, as its a big accusation to make. Another consequence of reporting him is that it is common knowledge that the new treasurer and I don't get along well, and I'm afraid that reporting him will mean that he and his friends will start targeting and harassing me, as they did something like this before. I also don't want to lose respect of my fellow members by coming off as petty and mean.\n\nOne of the clubs at university I am involved in has had a complete change in their executive board. We were only supposed to have a new president and treasurer, but the new president has replaced the treasurer and all three authorized agents with all his Chinese friends (he is also Chinese himself.) Two of these people have never been involved with the club previously in any way or form whatsoever. The new treasurer did apply for the position, but he was unprofessional and hostile in his application and on the clubs Facebook page by repeatedly using swear words. (His language in the application is common knowledge, the new president knows about it.) \n\nNone of the previous board members have been kept on, and the person who was promised the position of treasurer (me) by the previous president has been discarded aside for someone with a weaker application. I don't care to be treasurer as much as I wanted to before, but I still feel that what the president did is wrong and should be reported.\n\nSome of us have brought up the issue with the new president, but he simply says that he felt these people were better for the job because they like the sport, without addressing the complaints from club members of why these strangers might not be better.", "summary": "New club president makes all his friends (also of the same race) official board members, only way to fix it is report him."} {"id": "t3_4m3lsl", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Coworkers always speak their native language, that I don't speak", "post": "So I've moved to another country and an amazing company. Everything is great the atmosphere, the job, the people etc.\n\nHowever, during lunch breaks and when speaking with each other they always speak their native language. I can't blame them, as anyone prefers speaking their first language and it's normal. In principle, they don't seem to care about my presence and when I speak in English they follow, but quickly switch back after like 2'. \n\nI'm a very social person and we enjoy the time we spend together when I'm able to speak in English. Mostly I get angry with myself and not them for not having a good level of their language. \n\nWhat should I do to avoid being impolite, yet generate a response from them in English and keep the conversation going?", "summary": "Coworkers speak in their native language during lunch breaks, however much I try to speak with them in English. Advice?"} {"id": "t3_1ixgk2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[17 F] and my boyfriend [18 M] often split the bill or take turns paying. My friend [16 F] thinks it is wrong for a girl to pay..", "post": "My boyfriend and I make around the same amount of money and we take turns paying for movies or dinner depending on who has more cash or who feels like paying to be nice. I don't mind paying for stuff as I don't feel as if its his obligation to always spend money on us. I told my friend this, and she told me that in a relationship,it's always the man's job to pay and support the female. She said that she wouldn't even pay for her boyfriends dinner on his birthday because it's improper. I was shocked to hear this. So I'm basically just curious as to what you people have to say about this...\nI just want to ask you guys who are also in relationships/have been in relationships: do you and your parter take turns paying for dates? Is it \"proper\" that the guy mostly pays? Tell me what you've done in your case...", "summary": "Is it wrong if the male doesn't pay for the date? Who should mostly pay for dates? Is it okay to take turns paying? What have you personally done?"} {"id": "t3_30w8ug", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[22/M] My girlfriend [22/F] is very shy around her parents whenever she's doing something related to me? How can I help her?", "post": "So my girlfriend of 21 months is really shy around her parents whenever it comes to me. We are currently in a long distance relationship (11 months of the 21 months have been long distance) but whenever I try to video call her, she either 1) doesn't pick up because her parents are around or 2) picks up but doesn't say anything or 3) picks up and talks (if she's alone in the house / room).\n\nI was just wondering if it's normal behavior of a shy person? **She admits that she's shy that's why she isn't saying anything** but it's not like as if I haven't met her parents. In fact, I knew her since she was 11. Whenever we are together (in the same country), I would make an effort to visit her parents at least twice a week (usually to have dinner). \n\nHer parents and I aren't very close partly because they're also quite shy so our conversation runs dry pretty quickly. The time we spend together with her parents, dinner time, usually involves her mom and dad talking to each other while the both of us quietly eat our meal. \n\nI've been telling her to make an effort to talk, to help ease the tension / awkwardness between us and her parents but she's too shy to do anything. It isn't causing any major problems in our relationship but I would just like to help her become less shy around them. \n\nWe're Asians if that even helps.\n\nThanks", "summary": "GF is very shy around parents whenever it's doing something related to me e.g. if video calling, she won't talk if her parents are around. What can I do to help her become less shy?"} {"id": "t3_2hg7de", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My boyfriend (22m) has me (19f) feeling a sort of imbalance in our relationship.", "post": "We've been together for a year and three months, and we live together, which sort of makes it harder. I don't really want to list all the details because honestly, I don't want to get angry again, but it comes down to this:\n\nIf I treated him like he's been treating me for the past month, he would have left me. I've been a pushover and he's been a dick, and I just realized. And I can't live like this. And he's been so snappy lately that I'm getting anxiety about bringing it up; if he feels even slightly criticized he will freak out and the conversation will just ignite. I don't argue. I mean, I really don't. If he starts getting heated, I stop talking and leave the room. Adults talk, they don't argue. I'm not doing it. I need to be able to speak to him about this in a way that allows him to stay calm... How frustrating.", "summary": "boyfriend is being a dick and I'm tired of stepping around it like a pansy. How do I bring it up without him getting defensive?"} {"id": "t3_53q7p7", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Right Girlfriend, Wrong Place. What Should I Do?", "post": "About two years ago I (24) met the love of my life (25) and decided to move to her country and learn her language.\nEverything was amazing at first, as always, I was penniless and homeless, but her parents ( she lives at home still) took me in for a while, I eventually got my own place and got some work, although not much.\n\nafter a short while the rent was bogging me down, I was living off pasta or rice and the work I had was private teaching, so I had no colleagues, meaning no friends.\n\nthis went on for quite a while, up until around three months ago in fact, when I returned home for the first time to visit.\nI was so happy seeing my family, seeing my friends, rock climbing and just generally enjoying life.\n\nNow I'm back and am undecided if I want to stay here or not. I'm not happy living without friends, without a real job, back living in her parents house again.\n\nBut I feel like I wont be happy without her, we have built a relationship here and I don't want to throw away two years for nothing.\n\nAdvice?\n\nI also want to point out that the country she lives in is around a 14 hour flight from the country I live in.. so I cant just visit home whenever, especially as I'm super fucking skint.", "summary": "Love my SO, but hate the city she lives in ( on other side of world) miss family, friends and not being a bit depressed."} {"id": "t3_3fnzyr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my Girlfriend [21 F] of 1 month. She is a \"recovered\" anorexic & alcoholic. She also has PTSD from an abusive ex-boyfriend. Any tips for me?", "post": "She has seen a professional for all of these problems she says. \n\nShe also suffers from depression, because if she doesn't take her anti-depressant she gets randomly depressed after a few days. \n\nShe is not currently actively seeing a professional, even though I think she still should be(I obviously can't fix any of these problems, I can only support her). \n\nShe saw a professional regularly in the past.\n\nIs there anything I should look out for/ be aware of? **My main worry is something will happen and she will need help immediately and I won't know what to look for to recognize it.** I'm very uninformed about these issues. \n\nShe drinks more than most people, it's not horrible but I doubt very many days go by where she doesn't consume some alcohol.\n\nShe doesn't eat very much and I think probably not enough, but she swears her eating disorder isn't a problem anymore. However, she was blackout drunk a few nights ago and forcing herself to throw up the food I had to basically force her to eat. \n\nThis made me think, maybe I should learn a bit about these things she's going through. I just want to know warning signs for relapses of these problems and things I can do to help support her struggle with them. \n\nThanks Reddit, and of course I am still gently urging her to continue seeking professional counseling.", "summary": "Girlfriend has a lot of problems that I've never had to deal with before, how can I help her deal with them?"} {"id": "t3_248aya", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] dating extremely compatible [21 M] but worried about his weight issue.", "post": "Before I begin [20F] I just want to clarify that in no way am I trying to be horrible, but rather honest. I recently met a man [21M] who I am incredibly attracted to from an emotional aspect. We can talk for hours, share the same interests and are working on establishing an interdependent relationship before we head into the 'serious' side of it all. I honestly can see myself spending the rest of my life with him but only one thing is holding me back...he's overweight.\n\nI've got countless flaws myself and and it's such a superficial thing for me to actually be considering his weight to be a 'flaw' considering the fact that I've never met a man like him. I just need some piece of advice-some moral view-that will show how insignificant this issue is. \n\nI don't know what to do; the physical attraction doesn't seem to be there. And I understand some people might say 'if you're not physically attracted to him then don't date him' because I really do feel that we will have a long-term, healthy relationship. I just can't seem to get over this one thing.", "summary": "[20F] dating [21M] but can't seem to get over his weight issue despite his otherwise perfect self."} {"id": "t3_4c4jcs", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "[NSV] I can buy m*fing Dickies!", "post": "I like Dickies pants but I haven't been able to buy a pair in forever because the largest ones I usually find in stores are 42. I was wearing a 46 or larger so I had to give up. \n\nI planned on waiting until my next big weight loss milestone to shop for clothes but pretty much all my clothes are incredibly large now so I just had to go buy some. \n\nSo, here I am at the store, kinda dreading the moment. The last time I bought pants, in October, I had to buy size 46 (which was already smaller than before). The pants I was wearing today were size 46, my t-shirt a 4XL, and my shirt a 3XL. I grab a pair of size 42 pants from a clearance rack, two 2XL t-shirts, and a 2XL shirt. I go to the fitting room. \n\nThe fucking size 42 pants were a little too large! The size 2XL were more than fine (I like them baggy), and the 2XL shirt was too big! I put the 42 pants back, went to the Dickies display and grabbed size 40 Dickies. I also grabbed an XL shirt. Back to the fitting room: I fit in size 40 Dickies, 2XL t-shirt, and XL shirt.", "summary": "I bought a bunch of clearance clothes and they are MUCH smaller than what I used to wear. Damn it felt good."} {"id": "t3_1a62cf", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My (19/f) girlfriend's sex drive dropped off a cliff, and I (25/m) didn't notice", "post": "This is probably the most difficult thing I've ever asked, but my mind is in pieces here.\n\nMy girlfriend frequently goes away for long periods at a time, but it's amazing when we're together.\n\nThe last time she came to visit, we had sex (as we often do). Only this time, she had the strangest look on her face. I couldn't place what it meant: it was honestly like no face I've ever seen her make before. I didn't think anything of it at the time: we were locked in embrace and she seemed as eager as me. She's always been so assertive, the kind of person who'd tell me to fuck off if she didn't want it.\n\nAbout half an hour into things I hear her say in the quietest, barely audible voice, \"leave me alone\".\n\nShocked, I blurt out \"what???\". And she quickly replied \"nothing!\", but I knew what I'd heard. I stopped immediately, and we cuddled, I asked if everything was ok, and she said it was. \n\nBut then afterwards I started noticing things she's posted online, mentioning or joking about her feeling 'frigid' and uninterested in sex. I started to realise she hasn't been into sex for a long time, which has me taken aback since when we first got together she had a higher sex drive than anyone I knew. In the time we were apart she's lost all interest in sex.\n\nI would never have had sex with her if she told me she didn't want it. I'm pretty clear that she consented as she was pulling off my clothes, pulling our bodies close together, kissing and groping my body. \n\nWhen she later withdrew consent I stopped, but my head's still spinning about this. I paid her petrol money to come visit (she was broke): did she think that she owed me? Was she afraid of hurting my feelings?", "summary": "? I just realised my girlfriend's sex drive has dropped off a cliff in recent months, and now worry she felt pressured into sex she didn't want."} {"id": "t3_1x52an", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "When you've been assured that a girl has the same feeling you have, is it alright to just ask here to be \"more than friends\"?", "post": "unfortunately, I can't really ask her to go anywhere this week because of how busy we are in school and that we are low income teenagers. However, I've hung out with her after school a lot and got to really know each other. I mean like, being comfortable enough to discuss personal things and even made her cry because I've asked her about something emotional( It was later confirmed through a friend that she was happy she was comfortable enough to do that in front of me). The same friend told me that she has the same feeling I do, so I was just wondering if it would be ok to just straight up ask her to be my girlfriend. I've picked out somewhere private and something meaningful to say. Should I do it? Is this the best approach to the situation I'm dealing with.", "summary": "If we both know we like each other, and have really hit it off, can I just straight up ask her to be my girlfriend?"} {"id": "t3_2q5ilh", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting to register my dog", "post": "Earlier this year I finally was in a situation to get a dog, after a long search I found a beautiful - if somewhat dimwitted - Collie x Huntaway named Cooper. I got him as throughout my childhood my family had dogs, one in particular, a Collie name Lofty, was my best friend throughout my teenage year, but I left home at 16 and my family moved,so I never saw him again. \n\nAnyway, so the last couple of weeks I've been working heaps of hours to try and afford a decent Christmas this year, and while I normally work at home (I'm a programmer, unfortunately not a well paid one) Ive been working on site with my main client testing code for the last few days. I got home yesterday with a note from my neighbours complaining that my dog had been barking all day, I was surprised, but I figured since I only have one more day of work for the year I'd sort that out over my Christmas break. \n\nSo I get home today and my daughter pulls a note out of the letter box, it's from our local council and basically says that there was a noise complaint, however they don't have a dog registered at our address, so we need to contact them in 24 hours to sort it or they'll take my dog. \n\nIt's at this moment I realise that I completely forgot to register him. I got him microchipped the day I got him and had spent a fortune getting his vaccinations up to date as his old owners neglected him. After all that I didn't have the $100 to register him that month so I though I'd wait until next pay. Fast forward 6 months and I'd completely forgotten. \n\nNow I have to pay $400 in fines (aka everything I'd saved for presents) or have my dog taken away, more fines issues and him likely put to sleep. All on the 23rd of December.", "summary": "forgot to register dog, now have to spend all my money I saved for Christmas presents or my dog will be taken away."} {"id": "t3_1cd1rp", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Roommate accuses me of stealing.", "post": "We're both 19f, been living together for 6 months. We were friends at the beginning, always borrowing each others things. We'd always ask first though. Then we went through an awkward faze of not talking. We got over that. During that period though, she would tweet things that I felt were obviously related to me. For example she tweeted \"I smell a theif\" and then a day later all her food from the kitchen was stored in her room. I have NEVER touched any of her food...ever! And now she'll ask me \"hey..do you have my black shirt with the lace..\" ex..and I wont have it because I never took it but she'll act like she doesn't believe me. And then she'll tweet..\"I strongly dislike people who take my stuff without asking.\" So I texted her just being like..\"Hey, I hope you don't think im holding out on you. I have given all your clothing back that I've borrowed, and I haven't taken anything without asking. I just don't want you thinking im lying to you!\" and all she responded was..\"lol nah its all good. it will probably show up somewhere. \" \n So I don't know where to go from here. I was then like..\"Okay, well I have 5 and I dont where 2 of them anymore, so if you need one you can have one! :)\" and she was like..\"lol ok.\" \n\n So this is so awkward for me, and I know she's telling her friends its me. I don't know where to go from here. Or if there is anything else I can do.", "summary": "haven't taken any of my roommates things, yet she hints very strongly that it's me. Tried confronting her about it in a nice way but she just basically ignored me. Not sure where to go from here."} {"id": "t3_1krw9v", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [25M] flabbergasted at [29F] coworker", "post": "I don't know where to start... \n\nI eat lunch with some coworkers every day, 7 total: Me, Roslyn, Jack, Nicky,Robert, Beth, and Kristie. Well, *used* to eat lunch with them, until I stopped. I found their conversations to always rotate to either bitching about work or about videogames. \n\nAnyway, I decided to eat lunch at a local store instead of at work. One of the coworkers (and actual friends, Roslyn) joined me, which I'm fine with that, as the conversations tends to be about other things other than just work and videogames.\n\nAbout a month passes and Beth asks me if she can go join me and Roslyn for lunch at the store for lunch. I'm ok with it, and so is Roslyn. We have been going about once a week to have lunch at the store now. Kristie has joined us as well...\n\nWhich leaves Jack, Nicky, and Robert at the cafeteria. I'm having problems with Nicky, as she takes it as a personal insult that she and Jack haven't been invited to the store... But that's the catch: I never invited anyone to join me. Now she decided to send me a nasty message online through work email. \n\nDo I confront her directly, or do I contact my supervisor about this issue? I still have the message she sent me in ky inbox.", "summary": "Female coworker is upset she isn't invited to go out for lunch, sends me angry email at work. Who do I talk to: her or my supervisor?"} {"id": "t3_h8av3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I am changing my major and have absolutely no idea what I'd like to do with my life. Please help.", "post": "I am 19 and just finished up my sophomore year in college. I was attempting a Nursing major but that changed this last semester when I realized I wouldn't make it in the program. I decided it's best to just change things up and find something else I really enjoy, and my first thought was Biology, possibly Plant Science. \nLately my mom has been saying I'd make a great lawyer, but I am not a fan of ethics what so ever; I find it horribly boring...\nAre there any majors that I should strictly avoid? Your help could change my future, and I'd certainly like it to, because I need this change.", "summary": "I need to change my major but have no idea what's out there, and would like people with experience in certain majors to help me with my options."} {"id": "t3_2xe500", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 M] asked out a girl on the street yesterday, found out she was [28 F] during the date. What now?", "post": "I had just bought a pack of smokes and was waiting for a cab, she came out of the same corner store trying to light her smoke with a match so I quickly stepped in with a lighter. Talked for the 3-5 minutes it takes to smoke and figured what the hell might as well ask her out. \n\nI have just gotten out of a relationship that ended because of some deep seeded problems on both ends but we both still love each other. \n\nJust really asking what a 6 year gap is like and if she may take this more seriously or something cause of her age. Comments from women that age or men who have dated older women, any advice welcome. I have just always kept within a couple years of my age and the one time at 22 that I slept with an 18 year old I felt a little weird about it but that was me being the older one so I have no idea honestly how to feel about it.\n\nShe seems clearly interested but just want to handle everything right.", "summary": "Asked out a girl I thought was my same age, she thought I was her same age, turns out big age gap. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_1338j6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm (20/f)Annoyed with mom mom(55/f)", "post": "My mom treats my boyfriend (21/m) like one of her kids. She likes him a bit too much and is overbearing. Temporary boyfriend has been living at my house during the weekends and his parents house during the weeks. He has finally found a place where he can move out on his own. However during this time she worries about his bills, our sex life (she doesn't know we have sex and its a concern for her), his work e.g. him being late, and even his whereabouts. Its annoying. How do I handle this in subtle way and not hurt her feelings", "summary": "My mom treats my bf (21/m) like her kids and his being nosy and overbearing about his life. How did I do indirectly. subtly handle this without damaging anything?"} {"id": "t3_2atpvl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 M] with my [28 F] GF of 2.5 years. Debating on buying her a nice piece of jewelry (but not going to propose any time soon). Should I?", "post": "What are the unwritten \"rules\" of buying a girlfriend jewelry well before you plan on proposing to her?\n\nIn our 2.5 years and counting of being in a committed relationship, I love her and would one day like to marry her. I've even told her this much, but there are a lot of factors in both of our lives that would not make this the right time to move forward with that, likely at least for another year and a half (work + finishing grad school + temporary relocation issues). Money is somewhat tight, but I recently do have some extra cash I can comfortably spend.\n\nAnd though there are certainly things I would like to save for and buy for myself (new camera / lenses), part of me feels like I should buy something nice for her like a non-engagement ring, bracelet, earrings, or necklace. Something to make her feel like the special person she is to me. We have gone on vacations before, I take her out often, and I buy her nice gifts for all the holidays, but I have never really purchased any jewelry for her because she has seemed to have a lot from relatives of hers who passed away.\n\nI feel like maybe I should have bought her something already at this stage in the relationship, and that just because she has never asked for it or demanded (not her personality to do so) doesn't mean that it has never crossed her mind or that she hasn't wished for something.\nAnyone have any insight into this? I know it must sound so trivial, and I apologize for that\u2026 neither or us are materialistic at all, so that's ironically one of the sources of my stress with this matter.\n\nTHANKS!", "summary": "won't propose to her anytime soon, never bought her jewelry before, should i get her something nice in the mean time?"} {"id": "t3_3w3awa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29M] think my GF [30F] still seems attached to her EX-BF or am I reading into it too much?", "post": "I have recently begun to suspect my girlfriend still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend. I went into the relationship with the understanding that they were friends before they had a relationship so when things didn't work out with the relationship, they decided to continue to be friends. I was okay with it all in the beginning but now it seems like they talk all the time on FB and I've noticed that ever post my GF likes, he ends up liking very shortly after. It might not be anything and it may be just some insecurities of my own but I just thought I'd get the opinion of others before doing anything I'll regret. She assures me that he is just a friend when I ask her about it but I can't understand why they seem more connected now - especially considering we had been discussing marriage in the future.", "summary": "My GF still seems attached to her BF. She says he is just a friend and they still talk and every FB post she likes, he does too. Overthinking?"} {"id": "t3_28tew6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf (18) and I (M23) have just talked about the idea of a threesome, wat do.", "post": "We have been together for 1 year.\n\nWe basically entertained the idea of her making out with a girl (mutually), To discussing well we can't just bring a girl over and have her leave for us to have sex to, let me ask this girl if she wants to. \n\nThe girl that she asked initially said yes but now the next day is having doubts but hasn't said no. The girl in question is a good friend of hers so I'm assuming it's somebody she's comfortable with.\n\nNow I've never done this before so I have no idea where to start. But how do I approach the situation and let her know about somebody I might have in mind. I would want this someone to focus on her mainly so she doesn't think that I just want to have sex with other woman. \n\nI told her from the start if she is any way uncomfortable with this then we don't have to go through with it because I cherish our relationship more than a threesome.", "summary": "We want to have a threesome, girl she asked might back out, how do I let her know about somebody I have in mind."} {"id": "t3_3vfvj7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[24M] stumbled upon diary of my GF [24 F] of 2 months, and read the last entry only. Seems she is still in love with her EX. What should I do?", "post": "Starting of this year October, we both kicked off with a casual relationship and had an agreement to stay in \"No commitment\" mode and see how it develops. It has been going pretty smooth between us. We both like each other and are comfortable around each other. Lately, I started developing more than \"No Commitment\" kind of feelings towards her. She seems to also acknowledge this.\n\nFew days back, before going to bed I found her diary just at the corner table and at First I did not know if its her personal diary or some kind of random notebook. So I started from the last page which was written last week. And what I found was that she wrote about her feelings for her ex-boyfriend. She broke up with him to have freedom and space ( that's what she told me). Now I just read this entry and closed the diary.\n\nSuddenly this feeling of insecurity creeped in and she could see from my face that something was now right with me. So I confronted her and told her that I read the last entry. Her reaction was also like \"Damn!! but whatever, now you know even more. \" \n\nAt first place, I should not read her personal stuff and specially not violate her personal space. But then now I regret reading that and second since then, my head is pretty clouded with this insecurity \" What if she catches up with her Ex and patches up?\"\n\nWhat should I do with the situation now? How can I make it right since she also has a doubt regarding me as iff I went through all her personal stuff. Reddit please help.", "summary": "Read personal diary of my relative new GF and came to know, she still has feelings for her EX and now don't know what to do and how to go about this pickle in the new relationship."} {"id": "t3_iijp0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it possible to stay friends with the ex after he cheated on me?", "post": "Backstory, I'll keep it as short as possible because it upsets me to think about it: My very recent ex (20M) and I (22F) had been dating for a year, he's spending the summer abroad, and he cheated on me three weeks ago. He told me immediately afterwards and we broke up. He and the other girl continued boning for a week and a half, when one day he realized that he still had feelings for me and broke it off with her, too. Right now, he tells me that he loves me and wants to be friends, and maybe in a few years we can get back together.\n\nIn moments of paranoia I'm convinced that he's still doing stuff with the other girl. I guess I can't trust him by this point. It has been a tumultuous three weeks, to say the least. \n\nIn an ideal world, I would like to be friends. We have great conversations about books, politics, and such, and I would hate to lose that relationship. More importantly, any romantic feelings I had for him are pretty much dead by this point. The thought of getting back together with him, even in the future, does not appeal to me in the least. \n\nHowever, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be calm about this betrayal. Obviously, I'm really hurt. I also don't like the fact that even though he's apologized for what he did, he's being very defensive and concerned about his reputation with our mutual friends.\n\nSo the question I'm grappling with now is whether or not it's wise to stay friends with him. I'm the kind of person who can't burn bridges without feeling guilty for months afterwards--I don't know if this is a problem or what, but the guilt is a big motivator. But will forgiving him reassure him that what he did was okay? Will cutting him off now jeopardize any chances of being friends in the distant future? \n\nHas anyone else been able to stay friends in a situation like this before?", "summary": "Boyfriend cheated on me, wants to be friends. I don't like burning bridges so I'd rather stay friends, but the leftover hurt is muddling my thoughts on the matter."} {"id": "t3_1n488h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] and my girlfriend [20F] are torn over the idea of abortion.", "post": "Me and my girlfriend have been together happily for over a year. We have sex probably 3-4 times a week, and we are very happy.\n\nEarly in our relationship, we established that in a worst case scenario, she would agree to an abortion. She also is on birth control, so I don't always use a condom.\n\nJust recently, she has changed her mind about abortion: she will not have one if she gets pregnant. \n\nMe and her are both going to college, and we both have jobs. I have tried to explain that I could not risk having a child without knowing it would be taken care of. I understand this is cruel, but I'm too young to handle a child, given where I am in life. \n\nWe are currently torn, and cannot agree. I feel this may be the end of our relationship, as I cannot risk having sex with her considering the slim possibility of my life being drastically changed by a child.\n\nPlease advise. I am torn.", "summary": "Girlfriend and I are torn because she has changed her views on abortion. I can no longer risk having sex with her. Is this a deal breaker? "} {"id": "t3_2xv8ck", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24/F] with my boyfriend[26/M] 3 years, I think he is in love with someone else.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, things are mostly really great. He has a female friend that moved far away (across the country) when we first started dating - so I didnt know her very well. \n\nA year ago she came back for a visit. We went out to dinner with her and a bunch of people as sort of a \"Welcome Back\" thing. My boyfriend asked where she was staying while she was in town -- and she said \"I was hoping to stay with you...\" \n\nOk, fine, no problem. Im not happy about it, but hey, she's only in town for a day, she can crash on the couch. That night I went to bed and they were up until 5am laughing and talking. I felt like shit but I didn't say anything for fear of looking like a crazy jealous person. \n\nSince then, they text all the time. He always mentions how much he misses her. How she is one of his best friends. How she is soooooo nice and sooooooooo sweet. She moves back into the city for good next month and I am worried sick about it. \n\nI know he would never physically cheat on me... but I think he honestly wants to be with her. I am afraid to bring it up because he will think I am being crazy/jealous/stupid.\n\nDo I talk to him about it? How do I bring it up? Should I just leave it?", "summary": "I think my boyfriend is having an emotional affair with another girl, unsure if I should address it with him or leave it be and hope nothing comes of it."} {"id": "t3_2y9blm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my crush [21 F], crushin for a few months, she's attention hungry but ignores it, advise?", "post": "This girl that I used to work with and I became friends. She's really attractive but she does weird things to get attention. (posting a semi nude to 'mystory' on SC) or other things. I think she does it so boys will get all hot and heavy and start texting her, paying attention to her... \n\nSo I don't really know what to do. I obviously give her attention when she does crazy things like that, like I'm sure many others guys are doing. But when shes not doing crazy stuff like that should I work on giving her attention even when she's not asking for it? Sometimes when I do she never texts back or tries to respond and I find that very frustrating, I don't know if I should just drop it or she's playing some kind of small puppy card. \n\nWe have allot of fun together and I know that she finds me attractive, and I really want to get with her because it would be really fun for the both of us. I just don't know what I should do. Should I try and quench her attention thirst consistently even if she ignores me, or wait tell she asks for it?\n\nThanks.", "summary": "Girl wants attention, sometimes when I give it to her I get nothing in return. Seeks attention in strange ways. Should I give her attention consistently, even if it means she ignores me, or wait tell she asks for it?"} {"id": "t3_2ekpvi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(15f) Dad Slapped My Ass...", "post": "I use my dad's phone to text my boyfriend. I found a message from \"Circleville High School\". A conversation. It was the woman I assume my dad has been cheating on my step mom with, since Circleville High School was on his contacts list for over a year, long before he and My stepmom even filed for divorce.\n\n Another conversation was from our cousin. We'll call her Marie. Marie and my dad have a weirdly close relationship. I don't mean best buds, I mean like lovers. They hang out all the time. \n\n So my dad texted her stuff like how he's horny, hasn't had sex in over a month, they're already accused of sleeping together, and what sounds like him hitting on her. At one point he mentioned getting in her pants. \nThey're blood related. I wouldn't have been so concerned about my dad doing this until I read this chat log. It makes me think he's OKAY with incest.\n\n He seemed to be joking when he slapped my butt, not an accident for sure. I yelled at him to stop. He walked away. I don't know if he was sexually advancing on me, or if he really was just playing around. He's never sexually or physically abused me. He seems to care a lot about me. \n\n Do you think he was really just joking around? Or do you think he was acting inappropriately? \nI'm really upset about it. It happened about two hours ago and its making me feel sad. I also don't know if it's okay, since I am his daughter. Or if it's not, because of the reasons.", "summary": "Found texts between my dad and My cousin, sounding like he's hitting on her. My dad slapped my ass in a seemingly joking manner."} {"id": "t3_2tdie7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] am not sure what is and is not appropriate contact with my ex boyfriend [22M]", "post": "I'll try to keep this short. Two years ago (early 2013) my boyfriend, who I had been dating for a year at the time, accidentally got me pregnant. I was 17. I had an abortion, I didn't want one. It was the worst fucking thing that ever happened to me and I still struggle with almost every day. It wasn't easy for him either, but to be honest he handled the whole thing horribly and I will always resent him over that. I forgave him and we continued the relationship but the resentment is still there. I never told anyone about what happened; he's the only one in my life who knows. \n\nFast forward to late 2014. I broke up with him last month for a number of reasons. He wasn't happy, obviously, and we haven't spoken. He's made it clear that he doesn't want to talk. I still love him a lot but our relationship just didn't work. Anyway. The anniversary of the abortion is coming up, and all of these horrible feelings are resurfacing. I really need to talk about what happened, and my ex is really the only person who understands. It was our child after all. But I don't know if it would be appropriate to contact him. \n\nI'm not in therapy, I can't afford it, I don't have insurance. I run in a very conservative social circle and can't talk to friends and family about it. But I need to talk about this, it's killing me. And I feel like talking would benefit both of us. But I don't want to be the crazy emotional woman who inappropriately contacts her ex. I should add that he was my first relationship and this is my first break up so I'm still figuring out how to treat someone who you were close to for a long time.", "summary": "Had an abortion, want to talk to ex about our child, but he's upset with me. Not sure if contact is appropriate."} {"id": "t3_2qssr7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (F27) boyfriend of a yr and a half (M28) mother introduced me as his friend at his grandfather memorial service", "post": "My boyfriend(m 28) and I(f26) have been together for a year and a half. We always solve our problems and this is the only major thing that we have came across. \nI was originally supposed to spend this past weekend with my boyfriend's family out of town for Christmas, but plans were changed when his grandfather died. So, I went to the memorial service with him. I always try to give his mother the benefit of the doubt when i interact with her however this weekend was very difficult for me. \n\nFirst on Saturday night his mother has a tantrum over a bow and stormed out of his grandmothers house causing a scene. This caused boyfriend to get irritated and then have to calm everyone else down. he is used to her antics but this just really did not set well with him. the second thing that really bothered me is when we were visiting with everyone before the memorial service she would introduce me as his friend. I did not correct her or say anything because I just wanted to keep the peace until the end of the service. the third thing that she did this weekend was that even when I tried to initiate conversion she only said maybe two sentence to me. \n\nBoyfriend is aware of how she treats me and does not like but said that he does not want to be blamed for the way she treats me if he says something her. He also stated he thinks she introduced me as his friend just to get under mine and his skin. I try to be civil and very nice with her I am now at the end of my rope on how to handle her.", "summary": "My (F27) boyfriend's (M28) mother introduced me as his friend at his grandfather memorial service and has never really liked me, how do I have a civil relationship with her?"} {"id": "t3_1q4p23", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I [20/f] get over my ex boyfriend[20/m]?", "post": "I dated this boy for the past 3 years, and were best friends for the entire year before. We started dating our senior year of college and then spent two years long distance at different schools, but were madly in love. we spent every vacation together and talked about getting married and having a life together. After my sophomore year, I transferred to a school across the country. (He encouraged me to, it was really the best decision for me.) He spent the entire summer living with me because he had an internship, and it was the very best summer of my life. We decided to have an open relationship when he left, because we knew that the distance would be unbearable. But it slowly started becoming more and more like a breakup. (mutual.) I am still crazy in love with him, and I know that he loves me, we are just so far. There is a boy here at my new school who is fantastic and wants to date me, but I know i cant do that to him. And on top of everything, my ex (still close friend) is dating a new girl after a month and a half, and i found out on reddit. Reddit, what can I do to stop thinking about him?", "summary": "my ex of basically 4 years has a new gf after a month and a half of being broken up. our relationship only ended because of distance. how do i get over him?"} {"id": "t3_4o4hr2", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should I continue living with my roommate?", "post": "Hello /r/advice,\n\nI have a roommate that I've been very good friends with throughout college. We are looking to move to a place that is cheaper, and along the transition of doing so, we will be moving back to our respective homes until we find a place.\n\nMy roommate is very unclean and tends to get loud due to gaming with a headset (likes to yell and whatnot) and we've received multiple noise complaints from neighbors. It does not seem to affect him.\n\nHe also has a problem with money, and makes poor financial decisions. Some months he is short on rent, and I must provide for him in order to avoid eviction from our landlord. There's times when he's claimed to be broke, only to spend $20 on delivered hot wings for dinner.\n\nI've given him a lot of time and effort. I give him advice, both with life and with money, in order to help him grow as a person. But is this doing too much for someone?\n\nWith a regular stranger roommate, I assume this is easier. But this being my friend, how do I go about this?", "summary": "roommate is messy, always broke, and extremely dependent on me to pick up after him. Unsure if I should live with him or not"} {"id": "t3_3kn1cn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My fiance [22F] and I[24M] can't seem too admit our relashionship is over after 5 years.", "post": "For a very long time I was a shitty human being and met a girl that fixed almost every problem she could was willing to stand by my side. For whatever reasons I could muster, multiple times I cheated on her and broke her heart. We stayed together and each time managed to rebuilt a little part of our foundation and continue on with our lives.\n\n Through all this we managed to be graced with a child, now 2, that I feel is a large part of why we are still together. We both love our son very much and want what's best for him. Often times I feel this is a good enough reason. Because of our child we do our best and have managed too keep him safe and happy this far.\n\n But at the same time. We no longer look at each other the same. We don't entrust secrets or much else too each other like we used too once upon a time. We exists almost like roommates sharing a bed. We still say the \"I love yous\" and call each other babe but it doesn't feel like anything but the routine.\n\n Am I crazy too think that maybe sticking around has the hope just big enough to follow that I can keep the woman of my dreams? Or have I spent too long destroying her heart that no good can come of it?", "summary": "I spent a long time destroying a person but I don't know if there's hope to fix it even though that's all I want."} {"id": "t3_288y5n", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Just wanted to vent about this", "post": "I don't have anybody to vent about things that upset me about my relationship with my girlfriend, so that is why I wanted to post this. My mom, my girlfriend, and I currently live in a apartment. At this point my girlfriend is moving out mostly because my mom stresses her out, which is understandable. I would get my own apartment too but currently I'm a student and have a job that doesn't make enough to pay rent on my own (hoping to get another job so I can). Anyways what been happening is that when we're with my girlfriends friends/other people, they'll ask why she is moving. She responds with \"I don't like living here, miss my family, not enough jobs, don't like the city, his mom stresses me out\" and so on and so fourth, now the problem is not that I disagree with her because I do agree with what she says (I'm happy she'll be closer to her family). What upsets me is that she never mentions anything about missing me or having a hard time making this choice because of me, in fact everybody but her has said something like \"ya but you'll miss your boyfriend, or how about you guys look at some apartments together\". I mentioned this once to her and she said that ya she'll miss me and didn't want to move but her actions/words to everybody but me says the opposite (not a hard choice for her).", "summary": "Girlfriend is moving and says to everybody that it's because her living situation doesn't work for her. I agree but I'm hurt that she never mentions about it being a difficult choice."} {"id": "t3_2fn326", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23M] have trouble looking past my [23F] girlfriend's previous long term relationships [4 mo].", "post": "I've been dating this girl four months. Her best friend is the wife of my brother's best friend. It's safe to say that we love one another. We truly enjoy each other's company, we treat one another with respect and trust, we agree on just about everything, we have a healthy sexual relationship, and her family is fond of me and vice versa.\n\nI met her in high school when I was an acquaintance of her first long term boyfriend. He's long since out of the picture considering it was ~8 years ago. \n\nHowever, she has been in relationships pretty much continuously since she was 15. I've had two long term relationships; both lasted between a year and a half and three years. The last long term relationship I was a couple years ago. \n\nShe was single for one year before we started dating. But previous to that she was in a number of long term relationships - each of them lasting 2 or more years. She says she has always been faithful to her boyfriends, and I absolutely believe her. \n\nWe sometimes talk about how good we are for one another, and about our future together. However, I have trouble believing I really am significant. We've only been together a fraction of the time she was with any of them. I sometimes think about the sex she had with all of them (although I know I shouldn't), and I worry that maybe she falls in love too easily. She says she was single the past year because she was tired of dating guys that didn't treat her right, but stayed with them because it was \"comfortable\".\n\nHer past two boyfriends were heavy into marijuana and other drug use (dealers). Last night she said she stayed with both of them because it was easy for her to get weed through them. We were both pretty heavy into drug use for years, but we've both since discontinued all drug use aside from drinking.\n\nShe treats me very well, and I love her, and I want this to last. But how can I convince myself that the way she is comfortable with me is any healthier or different than the way she was comfortable with the rest of them?", "summary": "I would like to find a way to rationalize the fact that my girlfriend has been in numerous long term sexual relationships before dating me."} {"id": "t3_2nq3pf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My best friend's [25M] dad [~50M] is dying and I [25M] have no idea what to do/say, I feel like a bad friend.", "post": "So over a year ago my best friend's dad got really sick. Completely unexpected, and the condition has just been getting worse. My friend is the type of person to avoid confrontations, and so am I. We both are kind of emotionally unavailable people.\n\nWe've talked about the situation briefly, I try not to talk about it too much, but I know it's all that's on his mind. He will try to have fun when we go out, but he isn't the same person. I totally do not blame him, if I was in his position I wouldn't even be going out...\n\nHe is always so bummed, I just don't know how to help him. Distracting him is just not working out, and bringing it up always bums him out even more. I want to be a good friend, but I don't know what to do to make him feel better. His dad is probably never coming back and he is basically living my worst nightmare... how do I help him???", "summary": "my best friend is losing his beloved dad and I'm being a shitty friend because I don't know how to deal with these kinds of situations because I've never been an empathetical person"} {"id": "t3_4wp7fl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (F23) am being blamed by me friends (M25) and their girlfriends (F19) for something I haven't done. What do I do?!", "post": "I am a 22 year old female who had been good friends with 2 brothers for over 6 years now, the eldest one 25 has had a girlfriend for 2 years and we have always got along fine never had any issues before, we have been on holidays together and everything. The younger brother 23 has newly got a girlfriend who is bestfriends with the older brothers girlfriend. This is when things became a problem the girls began to publicly ignore me, at a friends birthday they made a scene going around tell everyone that all I want to do is sleep with the boys. (Which I found hurtful considering I've slept with 1 person my whole life). After all this went down I started recieving messages from a fake account which told me that stay away from the boys and are rude and abusive. They just go on about how the boys don't want my friendship and that they will do whatever it takes for me to not be friends with the boys. I have told the boys about them and at first they were supportive this has now gone on for months and now the boys and have turned around and think I'm sending the messages to myself!! The boys even made up rumours about my little sister saying it came from the girls cause they thought I would send it to myself in a message! These girls are so manipulative I don't know how the make the boys believe I'm not sending the message to myself, it is the most hurtful thing I have ever been through. People blaming me for something I would never do and I don't know what to do about it or how to make them believe me! It's literally pulling my life apart how is it fair that I loose 2 friends and get the blame for this horrible immature act. Please what should I do?! I'm over feeling horrible for something I haven't done!", "summary": "My friends are blaming me for something I didn't do. I'm not sure how to go about it or what to do."} {"id": "t3_20kwjw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [21F] having problems with my boyfriend[25M] of 4 years and his porn habits. Am I just being too sensitive?", "post": "I don't care if he watches porn, everyone does it. Lately, I feel like he has been watching it more often, even when I'm in the next room. I get that sometimes it's just faster and hassle free but I've walked in on him more this week than I have in our entire relationship. \n\nI told him how it's been making me feel inadequate because I feel like he prefers the look of the stars over my body. I'm not fat or ugly, but I'm not a model. He apologized for making me feel that way and that he didn't mean to, but then I walked in on him again the next day twice. We didn't have any romantic time for 2 weeks, even though I would try to initiate to no avail. One night, he even left the bedroom and watched porn in the living room.\n\nIf he wants sexy times, why doesn't he just do it with me instead? I have body issues and I've tried to keep that in mind while (over)analyzing this situation, but it's difficult.\n\nAm I being too sensitive or am I right to feel this way?", "summary": "Bf has been watching more porn than usual and I'm feeling inadequate. Am I being stupid and sensitive about this?"} {"id": "t3_v3z1i", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "My bf's mom basically hates me.......", "post": "Im a soon to be 20/f. It's been about 9 months since me and my ex of two years broke up but that is irrelevant. Recently I start dating this guy who is the same age as I am. We hit it off instantly and things started to progress really quickly, faster than im use to. \n\nThe problem comes in when I went over to his a while ago and one thing let to another and we ended up sleeping together. Im not easy or anything but it just seemed right and I know he really cares about me.\n\nWell afterwards we are on the couch playing videos games (me wrapped in his sheets basically naked) and his dad comes home early. He did not seem that mad or anything but he told us to get dressed and I was asked to leave. After that he texts me saying he really didn't get in trouble.\n\nFast forward a few weeks and we haven't hung out since and I don't hear from as much. I come to find out that his brother told his mom about the incident and she has basically banned him from seeing me for who knows how long.\n\nThat was a month ago and nothing has changed. As you all know not hanging or going out is really putting a strain on the relationship. On top of that it is just me and mom so family is very important to me and im just unsure if I should continue seeing some who's mother dislikes me enough to basically try to ruin our relationship.\n\nWhat do you think I should do Reddit?", "summary": "1) Bf's mother has banned us from seeing each other and 2) should I continue a relationship with someone knowing I may never really be accepted by his mom"} {"id": "t3_dlxou", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Do you have an Avoidant Personality Disorder?", "post": "Do you avoid getting close to people because if they knew the real you they'd reject you? So what. Is rejection really that bad? Why not get out there and get rejected a bunch of times, it can't be worse than sitting around all day reading lame posts like this one. We only have one life, perhaps it's better to face your fears than let them take control of you. \nHint: if you do have a trunk full of horrible demons then it's best to keep these bastards caged - if these demons are out of control then let your partner know about them, because sooner or later they will find out about them. IF they are under control then they do not need to be spoken of. See my problem is, I'm forever alone because I'm trapped in the catch 22 where my chemical balance is somewhat balanced by feeding the demons - when I don't, I become horribly depressed and even more withdrawn (nobody wants to be around someone who exhibits massive cravings and withdrawal symptoms). I guess my solution is to do a 90 day detox and then get out there and replace the demons with humanity.", "summary": "why do you have an avoidant personality disorder and what, if anything, will you do to rejoin humanity? Do you immediately reject someone when they get too close to you?"} {"id": "t3_35514e", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I lost my hobbies with time and don't find what I want to do.", "post": "I will try my best to explain:\n\nNo money and no jobs ( get hit by a car 1 year ago ... ) , I'm trying everyday to get back my passion in many hobbies or wish I could get some ... I have many debts for my age ( 21 M ) and I can't even pay something to me or my GF. Also, mostly all my left body is painful , my arm , leg and shoulder get hit on the impact.\n\n I'm feeling like someone who lose interest quickly. \nI'm an artist , or I was. I'm good at drawing and making art stuff. but this hobbies look dead , everytime I tried , nothing satisfy me.\nI make studies in wood crafting ( or making wood furniture ) sometime I would go back in this , but this is soo expensive to bought equipments and I don't remember how to sharp some wood tools...\n \n\nReading was one too , but now , I'm feeling like wasting my time when I can watch a TV show than reading a book.\n\nI can't do sport ( not until the next year ) and when I'm trying to get in shape , I don't get the motivation to keep going ... since my accident I win 40 lbs , at least my GF find me comfortable.\n\nThe only thing I have some fun ( or not ) is playing video game. I have many retro console and many games on PC ... but it look a waste of time . But this is the only thing I can easily do during my day. \n\nI wish I could return to school soon , but without money, I can't.\nMany thing change since the accident but the only hobbies I found is watching movie ( my last one was Total Recall with Arnold , gods that was great )\nI'm still looking about what I want to do in my live , cabinetmaker is not what I want , working in a animation studio is an ideal ... but I lose interest in drawing. I tried many school ( 4 on 3 years ) and nothing.", "summary": "! Had an accident 1year ago , lose interest in some hobbies and forgot what I want to do in my live."} {"id": "t3_2m31mb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [17M] begin a relationship with someone [17F] if I know it will become a LDR?", "post": "Hey guys,\nThis is the first time I have posted to this subreddit so bear with me,\nI'm 17 and I've not had a girlfriend yet. That's not the reason I'm posting this. Basically, I have met this girl through my work and we're really hitting it off. I feel like I want to take this further but in August we're both going to different universities (about 1 hour 30 mins from each other). I don't know whether to go further if I know I'm only gonna be able to be with her \"full time\" for a year or so, and I really think this could work.", "summary": "Should I go forward with a relationship if I know we're only going to have a certain amount of time in the same city"} {"id": "t3_4w5wee", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Would you feel rejected? Male 36 Female 45", "post": "Here is the story. A female and I are friends for 2 years. Over the years, we gave each other clues we like each other more than friends but nothing came out of it. \n\n3 weeks ago we were hanging out. A lot of bottles of wine was consumed between us,and we started to make out for the first time. Making out as in a lot of kissing with tongue , hugging and touching of bodies of the non sexual parts. About 30 minutes in, she said \"I want to feel you.\" Initially I thought this as having intercourse but wasn't sure. i asked, \"you mean have sex?\"\n\nApparently me asking this killed the mood for her. I don't feel I was wrong for asking because we were both still pretty buzzed and since I felt she was out if it, I had to ask. No intercourse happen that night but would you, as a female, feel rejected or have any other negative feelings based on my actions?", "summary": "Female and I were drunk making out. Felt she wanted sex but was unsure so asked for clarification. Mood was killed."} {"id": "t3_16q35x", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Highschool Senior male (me) dating Freshman Girl?", "post": "So there is this freshman girl who moved into the house right across the road from me just over a year ago. I've actually had my eye on for a little bit, and actually had the courage to walk up to her in the morning on Tuesday whilst walking to the bus stop. We seemed to have hit it off, though I've only talked to her to and from the bus since Tuesday and Today (Wednesday), but so far everything is well. We've only had small talk, such as how we're doing in school, how she likes the neighborhood, and other general school stuff. I actually switched my seat from mine to hers on the bus ride to school which she seemed to be OK with.\n\n**Now here's what my question is**: How will I be able to tell if this 14 year old girl is interested in me (17)? I'm willing to be that there's other guys that are probably interested in her though, but I am not sure if she has a boyfriend. I have been told by other girls that I am cute / attractive, so I think I have that going for me, but I'm not sure if she is interested in me. \n \nI have yet to get her phone number, and I don't think she has a facebook, but she seems pretty chill so far. And another plus is that she lives right across the street, so I would be able to see her whenever. I haven't had any relationships my whole High School career, so I was hoping you guys could help me with this! Thanks!", "summary": "How can I tell if this freshman girl is interested in me and not some of her other guy friends that she has already made?"} {"id": "t3_1eu2qp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] have 'creeped out' my fiance [23F] and don't know how to fix things.", "post": "So my fiance [23F] of 3 years and I [M23] were recently at a dinner with some of her friends.\nAmong those friends was a friend to whom I'll refer as Belany.\n\nBelany organized everything, and was essentially the hostess of the evening.\n\nShe has a habit of dressing, in the most polite of versions, scantily.\n\nNow, being a Hank Hill of a male, it made me very uncomfortable and self conscious to be sitting at the same table as Belany. I did my best to be as sociable and polite as possible throughout the dinner, despite my discomfort.\n\nAfter we left the dinner, I confessed to my fiance that I was very uncomfortable throughout the dinner due to Belany's attire. I told her how I did my best not to let my discomfort either show or ruin the dinner for anybody. 'Was I OK throughout dinner, my love?'\n\nBefore I know it, my fiance has used her superior knowledge and understanding of the English Language to convince me that I'm a creep, that I'm somehow sexually in love with Belany, and that I have bad hair to boot. She behaved as if I had, to a lesser degree, cheated on her.\nJust to be clear, I'm a one-woman man. I'll remove my own manhood before I ever do anything unfaithful towards my future wife.\n\nAm I a bad person? I certainly didn't think so, but the way my fiance received the news that I was uncomfortable during dinner, you'd think I just left her and our first born child to go play the slots in Vegas.\nWhat's the best way to handle this?", "summary": "My [23F] fiance is very creeped out and thinks I'm [23M] some form of pervert for being made uncomfortable throughout dinner by the way one of her friends dressed."} {"id": "t3_3l9bk4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Myself (16M) needs help with 2 friends (16M) and (16F)", "post": "Typing this on mobile, so please excuse any formatting errors.\n\nSo my male friend, let's call him James, is someone I consider to be one of my best friends. We are both in our final 2 years of high school and have attended the same school for the last 5 years. He decided to complete high school in another institution, for the sole reason that our school didn't offer the subjects he wanted to pursue.\n\nThe school he ended up going to was where most of his female friends from elementary school attended, so he knew quite a few of them.\n\nOne of them, let's call her Alexa, used to be really good friends with James in elementary school, so once he went to her school, they started talking again. I am friends with Alexa on Facebook, but I never really spoke to her before a few hours ago. Alexa sent me a text saying she was interested in James, and wanted advice on how to get him interested. Of course she asked for me to keep it a secret. \n\nSo I told James that she messaged me on Facebook (which is probably where I screwed up to begin with), and he said she asked him for my number. He knows we never really talked before, so he knew that she wanted to ask me about him.\n\nSo at this point I am in a bit of a dilemma. Alexa wants me to keep it secret from James that she likes him, but on the other hand he wants to know what she asked. Besides, he is one of my best friends, and I would feel really bad lying to him.", "summary": "Girl is interested in best friend and told me, but asked that I keep it a secret. Best friend wants to know what she said to me."} {"id": "t3_wg8o6", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I don't know how to cut off contact completely. Support?", "post": "Throwaway because hell, he uses reddit as much as I do.\n\nWe were friends for 7 years, together for a year, we broke up in what was the messiest breakup sequence ever (feelings everywhere). We decided it was best to go back to being friends. A few weeks into being friends I decided that it was hurting too much so I just needed a little time because I knew he was still a good guy. Some weeks later we try to hang out again and we can't. *He* can't. He said he felt horrible and just couldn't. We decided to cut off all contact but I'm crushed. He said it was 3 years before he started talking to his ex again. 3 years without him in my life? He was my best friend. And all of our friends our mutual. Small towns suck. We can't go anywhere without running the risk of seeing each other. I've been crying all night because I lost a friend because of some stupid relationship. I feel horrible and I don't know how to go about this the right way. Help?", "summary": "Best friends turn into couple, couple breaks up, tries to be friends again, doesn't work. Need help with having no contact."} {"id": "t3_tyv4q", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone hovers over me when I'm trying to work on something. Anyone else feel this way?", "post": "It's always bothered me when I'm trying to work on something and someone is standing behind me just breathing down my neck. It's particularly annoying when I'm using the computer, doing homework, or playing video games. I was wondering if this is just my weird pet peeve or if other people feel this way, feel free to rant and tell stories. \n\nI can kick start this with my own story I guess. Basically I'm writing this post because I was just trying to assemble some new furniture I bought at home. I wanted to work on it alone, but my mom kept insisting on helping. After I told her I didn't need help and she could go relax, she just sat there staring at me and watching me work. It drove me crazy, but I couldn't say anything since she technically was just sitting there harmlessly.", "summary": "= Do you also hate it when people stand behind or around you and breathe down your neck when you are trying to do something?"} {"id": "t3_16yz2e", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what's the weirdest \"It's not what it looks like\" situation you've been in?", "post": "Here's my story;\nSo, the other day, me and my buddy, we'll call him Jeff, decided to start drinking at 5pm. Jeff has a few too many pints and starts falling asleep/ shouting occasionally. Y'all know how it is. It gets to about 8.30pm and I decide to take Jeff home. He tells me he's recently moved in to his Aunt's house 20min bus away. Now I knew he'd lived somewhere else over the summer so I wasn't too sure about this but I wasn't entirely sober, and I wanted to get back home. So, not knowing if he's telling the truth or not, we get to this house. Jeff picks out the keys from under a brick and opens the front door. I ask him one more time, \"Are you sure this is your Aunts house?\" he simply replies, \"No. It's Hal's mum's house\" and walks in and disappears inside this house.\n\nNow, I have never been to this house, it's pitch black and I need to pee. I walk inside and close the door behind me, I can't find any of the light switches so I get out the flash from my phone, and use it as a torch. I walk into the first room on the left, kitchen. On the right, living room. As I'm walking back towards the hall, the front door opens and a middle-aged woman just stares at me in shock. \n\nThe only thing I can think of saying is, \"It's not what it looks like\"", "summary": "Went to a house my drunk friend led me to. Friend disappears. Can't find any light switches. Use my phone flashlight. Home owner (stranger to me) walks in and obviously assumes I'm a burglar."} {"id": "t3_35bpfb", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Emptying fuel tank(?) and feeling like a big crap", "post": "Hello runnit!\n\nYesterday in the morning i ran 26km (16miles) with stable averaging pace 5.28min/km (8.5min/mile) and i was feeling exhausted, but really great, no real pain in joints or something, but exhausted. After 3hours of recovery, lots of food eaten and little nap i went for light rock climbing; it was really light, but it still wasn't sitting or lying down. \nToday's morning i was feeling good, just little exhaustion in lower legs, so i decided i gonna go for a run this afternoon. For first 4km (2.5 miles) it was really cool, was averaging my usual 10k pace 4.30min/km (6.90min/mile), but after that, suddenly i started to feel like a big crap, got a little dizzy and had to slow down by ~30s/km, but after like few minutes this feeling went away, but i decided to just finish this run at 6km mark - better safe than sorry. Little more background: i run 35-45mpw (started to increase mileage last month), last week i did 22km (13.5 miles) followed by 11km (6.8 miles) next day with super easy pace and those two days went really nice and pain-free, but a little exhausting.\n\nI am wondering... Does it mean i pushed myself too hard today and emptied my carb storage and body had to take little time to switch to burning fat? Or what could be the reason? Is it start of this popular 'wall' that begginer marathoners are often hitting? \nI'd love to read your experiences with similiar situations :-)", "summary": "ran 26km followed by 6km next day, started feeling like crap at 4th km, probably had problems with amount of energy storaged."} {"id": "t3_4zmrbx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Her (23F) ex (23M) is apparently her best friend", "post": "So I (24M) just started seeing this woman. We have been hitting it off fairly well. Up until she mentioned that she is best friends with her ex boyfriend from 5 years ago.\n\nShe claims there is no physical attraction and they are just friends. I creeped this guy on Facebook and yea... I'm straight and even I felt some movement in my jeans. The guy is jacked and decently good looking.\n\nThe rough background behind how they split up was he moved across the country while she stayed put. She claims they just grew apart out of the relationship. Something smells fishy here.\n\nHe also still lives on the other side of the country, but he visits every Christmas. And they usually hang out quite often when he is back. She also claims they haven't hooked up since their split up. And despite the distance, they are somehow still fairly close.\n\nShe also immediately messaged him after our first date telling him about me.\n\nOther details: - they dated for 4 years - their relationship was sexual\n\nWould appreciate if a female could enlighten me on this particular situation!! Thanks!", "summary": "Girl I just started seeing claims she is only best friends with her ex from 5 years ago. Their relationship was sexual."} {"id": "t3_1292o5", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How much effort? [Male 17]", "post": "A little background first. I'm a senior in highschool and I have a friend who I have been fairly close with since 8th grade. I've always thought she was attractive. She graduated last year but hasn't left town yet. I hardly ever see her or talk to her anymore, none of us from my friend group do. See, she hardly ever initiates contact with anyone. She never texts anyone first, and she only replies to invites now and then. She can be cold and distant. I can respect that but at the same time its really hard for me to put all the effort into something like this. However, when we do hang out I have a lot of fun and I think she does too. Anyways, the other night she came to watch our last soccer game of the season and afterwards we sat in my car switching between making out and just sitting and talking. Same thing happened the other night when i went over to her house to watch a movie. I got the feeling that she enjoyed herself. Since then I've texted her first twice and after awhile both conversations died and she quit replying. Like i said earlier she never texts me first. So my question is should I keep trying to establish a relationship or is it a lost cause? and is it normal for one person to put more effort than the other?", "summary": "I am attracted to a friend that is distant at times. I put most the effort into our friendship, should I put any effort into establishing a relationship?"} {"id": "t3_l3qpn", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Been swapping messages with cute guy, but is his interest waning?", "post": "Me: F, 21, grad student. Him, M, 25, grad student. \n\nWe met through swing dancing, as I was one of the few girls who was really good at his favorite style. He started FB messaging me in a flirtatious manner about two weeks ago and I flirted right back. We sent silly messages for a week straight, and on Monday had a little silly touch-flirting and chatted in depth between dances.\n\nNow, my messages are getting quick, \"Hahaha that's funny. Later!\" notes. He's still being goofy on the dance floor and I'm getting lots of deep dips (:D) but I'm not sure if he's just a dancefloor flirt. \n\nI understand that he might be busy, but I was intending to Make A Move^TM and don't want to lose my good swing partner to awkwardness if he's backing off. \n\nAdvice?", "summary": "He's cute but I'm not sure if he's interested. Should I ask him out anyway? Or should I do a few more litmus tests?"} {"id": "t3_1oswaj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24m) think my aunt (43f) may be HIV positive and don't think my family knows.", "post": "This is my first post so forgive me if I miss some rules.\n\nThis goes back several years but it has been on my mind since. About 5 years ago my aunt came to live with our family as she was between jobs and moved into town to look for a new one. fast forward 6 months and she moves out after finding a job and an apartment. When she left there were some belongings that were left behind. Among those belongings were some pills. Me being curious as to what they were, I googled what the pills were for (don't ask me what the name of the drug, it was a long time ago). What came of the search was a drug that is used to fight HIV. I looked into it a bit further and it appeared as if that was the only use for this particular drug.\n\n My family has never once mentioned that my aunt may have HIV and I feel as if they don't know. I know she is kind of a black sheep of the family and they don't talk to her or about her much. \nI am torn whether or not I should mention it to my family. On one side I feel as if they should know, after all it is their sibling. Then again I feel as if it isn't my place to tell them. If she wanted everyone to know she would have told them. If she wants to keep it to herself I respect that. It has been eating away at me for years and I don't know what to do.", "summary": "I think my aunt may be HIV positive, but can not prove it, and I don't know if I should tell them or not."} {"id": "t3_47pof5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my GF [23 F] of 1.5 years, I'm trying to change but my GF is on her last straw with me.", "post": "So I've been seeing this girl ever since i was 18 and she was 22, she's is perfect in every single way imaginable shes smart, shes good looking, good with family,etc etc. \n\nThis is the first relationship I've ever been in and to be honest i didn't know what the hell i was doing. In short I would do stupid shit like bring up stuff from our past (when she was distrustful to me, she is very trustful now) and it would end up like making us both sad (ya i know im an idiot).\n\nMore about me and her, I live with my parents and I'm still in 3rd year of University and she has already graduated and lives by herself and has a stable job (which stresses her out all the time). \n\nAs of last week, she came out and said that it might be better for us to breakup and I begged and pleaded that she give me another chance to see that I can change (which she did). \n\nThat conversation was a serious wake up call I've been changing my attitude and I'm becoming overall a nicer person (I believe). We had a intense conversation yesterday where she aired her fears and concerns, she mentioned that it's to big of her to ask me to change my personality for her , and shes afraid I would hurt her by reverting to my old ways (emotionally, I've never physically hurt her ever). For the record, I would go through this change regardless if I was with her or not for the better of me.\n\nWhat can I do to save this relationship with this girl that I love so much, and when I say I'm changing I'm really changing and I've told her that. \n\nA couple months before I met her I lost 40 pounds in two months with exercise and healthy eating and I've stuck to it I have more determination than anyone, when I make a goal I always put 100% of my effort to reaching it.", "summary": "I was the biggest jerk in the world to my GF, I'm changing to a become a better person, but she is scared ill revert to my old ways and she is asking to much of me to change."} {"id": "t3_2fluyx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 1 year, I have trust issues", "post": "Hey guys!\n\nSo I have an amazing girlfriend of 1 year. Everything's perfect except how she is when she gets drunk. She's the type to just go crazy all over the place and completely lose it, which is fine I guess I can put up with that, but she also gets really flirty.\n\nOver the past year, she's had two incidences; one where she flirted with some bartender, even taking a photo, getting really touchy and all, and once where she made out with a good friend of hers. Granted, \"[but] he's gay op!\" but I'm still not okay with that. Both times she also went around getting touchy with every guy she ran into.\n\nNow I've tried talking with her about these things but she always responds in horror saying \"oh now I can actually see us breaking up cos you don't trust me anymore\" cue crying which is really unfair when\nA) it's not my fault I'm having trust issues right now\nB) by talking I'm trying to fix the issue and her reshifting the focus isn't helping any, only making me feel worse.\n\nOnce, I finally got through and she apologized, promised not to do it anymore, etc... Which was great. I finally felt at peace. Or so I thought. Flash forward to now and I can't seem to get over it. Every time she tells me she's going out with friends to go drinking I can't help but worry inside and it sucks. I'd try talking to her again but I don't want another giant fight. It also doesn't help that we're LDR and she frequently has things lined up (I.e. A giant annual street party at her city where the entire city gets soaked in beer. It's that big, one of our bigger tourist attractions) and so I have to worry for periods of times, what if she gets drunk and starts flirting again, etc...\n\nSo reddit, how do I get over this?", "summary": "girlfriend is a flirtatious drunk. Had 2 big incidences in the past year and now I have trust issues when she goes out to drink with her friends. Help?"} {"id": "t3_1uz3hx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [32M] with my GF [31F] of 10 years, broke up last night, need some advice on how to advance from here", "post": "My GF and I have had a rocky unstable relationship for years. Last night, we had tentative plans that I broke due to an argument we had that morning.\n\nI went out to have some drinks with friends and vent. The GF shows and threatens to cause a scene. I leave with her, but on the way home, I tell her that she can't do what she's doing and needs to leave me alone. She refuses. I repeat this over and over, but she either ignores or refuses.\n\nI strong arm her and walk away, and she follows quickly, grabbing my arm. I push her and start running the other direction. She pulls out her mace and sprays towards me. Luckily, I was already running away and didn't get hit.\n\nMaybe I shouldn't have pushed her, but she sure are hell shouldn't have tried to mace somebody who was trying to get away.\n\nI proceeded to get drunk with the aforementioned friends and crashed on one of their couches.\n\nNow what? I gotta work in a few hours. I can probably find a couch to crash on tonight and crash at my mom's after that. I'm really kinda lost.", "summary": "Fight ends with pushing and attempted macing, now I'm single for 1st time in 10 years. Halp."} {"id": "t3_1sw7i9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25/M] had an incredible date with a girl [22/F] from school... but I don't know if we can see each other again.", "post": "Throwaway, and some obfuscated details, just in case...\n\nSo for a while, I've had a massive crush on a girl from school. She's an undergrad; I just finished my graduate degree - thus, the age difference. She's charming, funny, wonderful, stunningly beautiful... all in all, a spectacular catch.\n\nLike an idiot, I waited too long to ask her out. I do know she's really busy, and I kind of assumed she had a boyfriend, but that's not really an excuse. I'm leaving the area for work soon, and figured I'd be wondering forever if I didn't ask her out. To my surprise, she said yes...\n\nWe had an *amazing* time. Hands down the best first date I've ever been on. We went out all dressed up to a holiday event, then came back to her place and watched a movie, talked, joked, played a couple games, watched another movie. She fell asleep on my shoulder. Each time we kissed, her face would light up in this cute smile that just melted me... Same thing when I kissed her forehead - cute smile of complete satisfaction.\n\nShe's gone home for break, and won't be back until after I've left the area. I'm moving about 4 hours away, give or take... but I'll be working full time, which would mean I'd only be able to see her on the weekends. I would happily drive that distance every week if I could keep seeing her. It's been a *long* time since I felt that kind of instant connection with someone.\n\nWhat to do?", "summary": "Amazing date with a perfect woman; she's out of town, I'm moving; *really* want to see her again. And again. And again."} {"id": "t3_30ivx9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my SO [31 F] 3+ years. I'm in too good of shape for her to want to have sex with me.", "post": "When we first met I was slightly overweight and so was she so none of this was a problem. Now I've been steadily lifting heavy for over a year now and have changed my body completely. Not trying to humble brag but a six pack is more then noticeable as well as a ripped body. \n\nI was never a sex maniac to begin with and neither was she, but sex at least once a week was definitely doable. But as the more toned I got the less interested she got. Now sex is once a month if at all.\n\nLast night we got into an argument about it and she broke down and told me that I'm making her hate her body because of the way I look. It's also apperently killing her sex drive. \n\nOk. I never once asked her to change with me. Actually she's managed to lose some weight on her own without my help or advice. I think she's beautiful the way she is. I got in shape for my happiness, I just figured she would get the benefit of it. I was very wrong it seems.\n\nShe's not interested in working out and I'm not interested in being fat again. I don't want to lose her but I also want a normal sex life.", "summary": "Got in shape and toned up. GF now thinks she's not good looking enough to be with me no matter what I say. She has no sex drive now. Life sucks."} {"id": "t3_4tli7o", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Suggestions for promoting speech in my 19 month old?", "post": "Before my son was born, I read all the books that recommended talking to your newborn/baby to develop brain growth. I have to say, my wife and I did a good job of sticking to it and I'm proud of my son for learning all that he has thus far. We can go through picture books and if I say \"where's the school bus?\" or \"where's the horse?\", he gets it 90% of the time. He can identify things that we know we've only pointed out to him once or twice. That being said, I feel like we need to transition to a new approach now that he's a little older. He has a nice vocabulary for his age (maybe 15 words), I'd just like to help him use his words more. We thought it was so cute when he finally started answering \"yes\" to our questions a few weeks ago, but I feel like we rely too much on yes or no questions. But if we ask for a more substantive answer (\"what are you playing with?\" \"where do you want to go?\", he just responds with a blank stare or his \"ba\" sound, which is the little grunt he uses when you know he wants to say more but doesn't have the words. I know he *wants* to say more, but I'm not sure how to help him.", "summary": "how do I transition from just dumping words on my son to actually getting him to engage in a little more \"conversation?\""} {"id": "t3_owck2", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "starting again", "post": "Hello, i've finally pulled my self up from that depressive side and being negative about everything i see.\nNow im planning my permanent-diet, (meaning that ill try stop eating stuff like cheesy stuff, or deepfried stuff)\nI am learning lots of things about what to eat but im also going to workout and im not insterested in gym just yet, i was considering buying a indoor training bike, for 3 reasons. 1st i dont like biking outside, ESPECIALLY not now!, 2nd still quite a bit ashamed of my weight. 3rd i live in a city which means alot of stops and i rather just go on instead of waiting for all the traffic lights.\n\na entirely different thing, when working out, How will i know when enough is enough?\nI've tried losing weight 2 times before (didnt go well but i got the motivation this time!) And the first days i went far to hardcore, it resulted with me not being able to move for 40 hours, my arms was locked and i had to walk on my knees. Yes very stupid, which is why im asking you, What is enough for a beginner whos very very out of shape, weights 320 pounds (6'3 feet) and don't walk more than 3000 steps a day.", "summary": "is a training bike worth it? When is the first days of training enough, How do i find out when enough is enough?"} {"id": "t3_2sarbd", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My [18/f] Boyfriend [19/m] is always busy and barely makes time for me because his degree is more intense than mine, what do I do?", "post": "My boyfriend (19) is really busy all the time with the copious amounts of work he has to do for his math degree so I only end up getting to see him once a week- if i'm lucky. \nI love him a lot and there are stretches throughout the semester when I do get to see him often and then life is good but there are times when I end up only seeing him if I place myself in his line of vision. A lot of the time I end up watching him do calculus or algebra work where he barely speaks to me. \nAs much as i'd like to talk to him about it, I fear that he'll only think I don't understand the commitment required to his program. That and my lack of patience could make him feel like i'm just being needy. He's a very logical person who only thinks things through without much emotion involved. So budgeting time for me wouldn't make sense to him when calc and algebra assignments take precedent. \nTo be fair, when he is present in our relationship he's very considerate and pays attention to me. He's a very loving guy but he just doesn't understand what it does to me every time he puts me back on the shelf.", "summary": "my boyfriend spends a lot of time doing work and doesn't seem to be able to budget time for me. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3fxtfz", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Girl said yes to lunch date, but I don't think she has an actual interest?", "post": "Me, whom is a 20 year old male figured I would take the shot of asking out my crush (18F) in a snapchat conversation. It went in the lines of this\n\n\"We have a lunchdate when I get home, just so you know\"\n\n- \"Haha \ud83d\ude0a\" (embarassed smiling emoji)\n\n\"I take that as a yes?\"\n\n\"- Absolutely \u263a\"\n\n\"Date it is then\"\n\nWhereas she stopped replying and I haven't had any reason to pursue any other conversation with her, just some minor that she kills by ceasing to reply despite the ends being loose to continue with if there was the desire to talk more. So I am confused, does she have an interest or am I wasting my time being toyed with despite her not being that type of girl? I am abroad now and discussing the specific lunchdate would across as weird momentarily but of course I will within a short future.", "summary": "girl said yes to lunchdate but seems to have no interest in talking to me - not a mutual excitement so to say. what is likely cause? will bring specifics about the date within short future to either confirm or abort."} {"id": "t3_1u2092", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "No Christmas Bonus? That's ok.", "post": "A little background first: I am a secretary and work for a small family owned company that has been in business for 33 years. I started this past year, taking the position on as a second job. It is common knowledge at this company that for the first 31 years every year at Christmas time all the employees were given a full bonus, which was a check for 40 hours - essentially an extra paycheck worth one weeks pay - as well as hosting a company wide Christmas party at a local restaurant with an open bar. Last year, in the company's 32nd year, they were struggling with money and were having problems with several employees who were eventually let go for various reasons, but they still managed to give a bonus to everyone for 20 hours, so half of a paycheck, which in my opinion was still generous given the circumstances the business was facing financially and was a show of good faith to their employees. This year the company has been doing significantly better and could have afforded to give full 40 hour bonuses to the 10 employees that work there, however they did not. Now, I'm not by any means saying that they HAVE to give bonuses, cause well frankly they don't. Plus I have only worked there for 10 months, but a precedent had been set over the past 30 years, so a gesture would have been nice, one of the owners didn't even wish anyone a Merry Christmas when he called from his house in Florida. So we were all feeling a little bit like Clark Griswald. \n\nSo my revenge: Being one of the two members of the office staff, I had a pretty good idea early on that there would be no bonuses. And as an underpaid, frustrated employee I decided to seize my moment and enact my revenge. I have a large family and always like to send a Christmas cards to them, spending at least $50 in postage each year. So one day about a week and a half before Christmas I addressed all of my envelopes brought them to work, and used the stamp machine in my office taking about $53 off of the account. $53 is far less than a 40 hour bonus would have been, but damn it felt good.", "summary": "Company I work for didn't give Christmas bonuses after doing it for 32 years, so I used the prepaid stamp machine to send out $53 worth of personal Christmas cards."} {"id": "t3_1gxzqr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf [20f] and I [21m] have run into an issue...please help :(", "post": "Hi everyone,\n\nI'll cut to the chase. We've been together for a little under two years now. We're both from the same country, but from different region and have different languages. We currently reside in the US and are about 2 hours away from each other (LDR). She dropped a bombshell on me and said she wasn't sure about us because she's not sure how her parents will take it and she wants time to focus on herself. She feels like she's always been in a relationship and has never had the time to be independent and do things herself.\n\nThe other problem is she's afraid her parents won't accept me and she's sick of the sneaking around and hiding things. Her parents specifically told her to not date guys from the region I am from but she did anyways. Now we're not sure what to do. I told her she can't assume anything and that she needs to tell her parents about us but she still hasn't. \n\nI love this girl so much and the last thing I want to do is lose her but it seems like that's inevitable...I know my thoughts are kind of scrambled but I'm in shock right now because I didn't see this coming. \n\nIf you have any questions, please ask and I'll answer them as soon as I can.", "summary": "GF not sure what she wants. Said she's afraid her parents won't accept me and wants time to focus on herself."} {"id": "t3_22113q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[23M] with[20F] for 9 months now. Very healthy relationship, we are both happy. I just have a question.", "post": "She and I have been going for 9 months. We were seeing each other for a few months prior to that and have overall been close for about a year now. We are both very happy. We have only had two small arguments, both of which were me saying something dumb without thinking about it, hurt her feelings, apologized, and she has never mentioned either time again. I love her, she loves me. We say that to each other frequently. She means the world to me.\n\nSome nights when I am going to bed, or am alone and thinking about our relationship, when I think about how much I love her I start to cry.\nFor most of my life I have been pretty in-tune with my emotions and I can tell when things bother me or affect me. I just can't figure out why even though I love her and I am happier than I have ever been, when I think about how much I love her and that I want to do everything for her to be happy, I become overwhelmed and cry. I can't put a finger on what emotion I am feeling, unless it's just how strong love really feels. \n\nI am just wondering if anyone could shed some lights or ask me something to pinpoint why I feel this way.", "summary": "Girl and I have been together for 9 months, are both very happy. When I think about how much I love her, I become overwhelmed and cry for a few minutes."} {"id": "t3_1f322b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend(21f) is busy and doesn't have time for me (25m) very often these days. It's making me feel restless and anxious.", "post": "We have been together for about 2 years now. We are currently in different cities since about the last 4 months. I think the earliest we will meet next is in 3 months. Since the last 2 months she has been pretty busy and doesn't stay in touch very often. Of course we have days when we do talk a lot but the number of days we don't get to talk much has been consistently going up. She doesn't always reply to my texts sometimes claiming that she didn't get the texts at all. I bought her a smartphone about a month back so that we could stay in touch on whatsapp when she was out. Even that didn't work out well with her normally replying to me multiple hours after I would write to her. Whenever I've tried talking to her about this, we always end up fighting. She says I should trust her and she replies as soon as she can. The most annoying thing is that sometimes when she hasn't replied, I have seen her be active on facebook. When I have asked her about this, she says that she feels like I am questioning her with evidence as if she has committed some crime. And ofcourse she still says that she loves me.\n\nNow, when we do talk normally, we have a great time and it doesn't feel any different. But lately I feel that she wants some space away from me. It was never like this before. We were always each other's number one priority. Now she doesn't get in touch as soon as she can but takes her time to do it. The worst part is that I feel restless and anxious when I dont hear from her. I feel like shit. I feel like I am losing her. I love her.\n\nHow should I go about talking to her about this without it ending in us fighting? I am really confused about what to do.", "summary": "GF says she is busy, doesn't stay in touch very often, I have seen her active on fb though, how should I talk to her about this without us fighting?"} {"id": "t3_3hewgs", "subreddit": "running", "title": "I have a new found respect for new runners.", "post": "So a little backstory: I ran all four years in high school and all 5 years in college at a nationally ranked D2 program. All in all I have run for 9 years never taking more than a month off a year. But, then I finished my eligibility for NCAA in April, and, quite frankly, I got lazy. I told myself I was going to take as much time off until I got \"the itch\" to run again. After 2 months, the itch came and I ran consistently for a week or two. Then, I took another 2 months off, maybe running once every two weeks (if that). So today I finally had enough of my laziness because I have been feeling depressed recently and I have attributed it to the fact I haven't been running, among other more deep-rooted issues. I went running this morning and struggled. 2 miles at an 8:30 pace, which earlier this year I would have considered a day off and not broken a sweat, nearly killed me. I finished my run and my heart rate was north of 180. Nearly passed out and threw up. \n\nNow you lovely people may be wondering... why is he telling us this? \nWell my comrades, if I did not know that with time this feeling of death would give way to a feeling of accomplishment and success, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I WOULD EVER DECIDE TO START RUNNING. \nSo I say to you, slightly over-weight human being starting out thinking \" I am gonna die,\" you won't. It'll take some time, but it'll get better with consistency and progression. Just know that you are brave and far more courageous than me you beautiful bastard you. So keep putting one foot in front of the other.", "summary": "I'm out of shape as fuck, nearly passed out, but now I have renewed determination because of all of you c25k people out there. So thanks!"} {"id": "t3_f45wc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "The Girl Project: become a part of a wonderful birthday present.", "post": "Before I get to it, this is obviously a throw-away account as I have no idea how people will react to this.\n\nI have been together with my girlfriend for five years, and I want to do something special for her birthday - which is on the 3rd of February. By coincidence, most of her close friends will either be on holiday on that day or will be in the middle of exams. This has gotten her quite gloomy as she's afraid she'll feel kind of forgotten on that day.\n\nThis is why I have come up with The Girl Project. I have teamed up with a close friend of mine who is a talented musician. Together we'll perform a cover of \"The Girl\" by City and Colour. I think this song expresses exactly how I feel about her. I can't really sing all that well, but I'm going to do it anyway. This is another reason why I could use your help.\n\nYou can check the song out here: \n\nNow, you'll notice that around 2:17 the screen turns black and the song gets more upbeat. That's where you guys come in.\n\nI would really love to have you guys and girls all sing along (a capella) from that moment on, and record it on video. You can send your videos to me, and I will edit them all into one video, creating a big virtual choir. When the song ends, I would like five seconds of silence so I can say \"Happy birthday\". After that, you're free to cheer, woo, clap and whistle all you want.\n\nYou can send in your videos at thatgirlproject@gmail.com. I am encouraging everyone to participate in this, it would my girlfriend so profoundly happy.", "summary": "Love my girlfriend, whose birthday is on February 3. Want to make a music video to make her happy and I need your help."} {"id": "t3_gy7u1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Not your typical roommate problem.", "post": "Hey, this is my first time on Reddit, so I'm really sorry if I didn't post this to the right sub-reddit. Anyway, I'm a freshman in college and just found out my roommate assignment next year, and after a little bit of creeping via Google (c'mon, we've all done it) I came across a horrific piece of news about him.\nApparently, a few years back, he had been drinking with his friends when he accidentally shot and killed one of them. (Actually, it didn't say anywhere that it was an accident, but I fucking hope it was.) He spent 6 months in jail and another 5 years on probation, bringing us to today.\nI figured out from some more creeping that he's transferring here from a community college, and it looks like he's turning his life around. I've tried to contact him via Facebook and am waiting anxiously to hear back. \nBasically, Reddit, I'm torn. I am scared shitless at the prospect of my future roommate being a murderer, but there's no way I'm going to get a roommate change just because of this. I'm sure he's trying to forget the past and get his life back on track, and I don't want to be one more person who shuns him for the mistake he made. I need to talk to him about this, though.\nI know you guys are an open-minded and insightful bunch, basically...should I bail or should I stick with rooming with him like my conscience tells me? More importantly, how do I bring up the fact that he fucking killed his friend?!?\nI don't mean to be self-centered. I know my little problem pales in comparison to the shit he's dealt with for the past seven or so years, but I just would like some advice. Thanks so much.", "summary": "I found out my future roommate recently got out of jail/probation for killing his friend. What the hell do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3a8j9p", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How can I [17f] apologize to my mother and convince her that I'm serious about changing?", "post": "My cousin overheard my mother telling my uncle on the phone that she plans to send me to rehab for drugs. She also heard my uncle mention it to my aunt that my mother was planning to do this. I'm not suppose to know that this is happening. My cousin does not yet know what date they will try to do this, but my uncle has implied to my aunt that it will happen this week. \n\nI don't have any plan on how to avoid this at the moment. I'm trying to get my cousin to find out more. I read a few texts off my mother's phone that confirmed that it was happening but did not mention any specific details. \n\nI think I should just make a long apology to my mom tomorrow and tell her that I want to change and I want to be a good person and how sorry I am about everything. I don't think that I should let her know that I know what she's planning though. I'm not sure what to say. I'm sure she'll believe the apology, but I'm less sure that the apology will be enough to make her reconsider sending me to rehab. I think if I say that I want to spend more time with her and \"repair our relationship\" it might work better.", "summary": "My mother plans to send me to rehab. What should I say to her to convince her that it is in our best interest that I not go? "} {"id": "t3_pt1bu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I need a costume for my works theme night, any ideas?", "post": "Ok so my place of work occasionally has theme nights, I make very little effort for these and get in trouble for it every time.\n\n*So* hopefully with your help, I can make a better impression this time around.\n\n**Theme**: ***Movies***\n\n**My restrictions**\n\n* I moved to the other hemisphere and only took what I *really* needed with me.\n* I got a shit low paying job which means I haven't bought anything new since I got here.\n* Sad as it is to say, being female drastically lowers my options on the character front, I've searched things like the 100 greatest movie characters and most of them are male >.<\n\nI have been raged at by coworkers for not making an effort on nights such as \"School Uniform\" night, I tried explaining that when I was packing to move to the other side of the world, a school uniform i'll never ever wear again wasn't exactly top of my priority list but alas i'm still lazy and didn't make an effort despite my disadvantages.\n\nSo any ideas for a famous film star or character that just wore jeans and a top but did something iconic with their hair, or their make up or something?", "summary": "Need a female film star/character that is/was a normal boring person so I can actually be seen to be \"making an effort\" at my work theme night."} {"id": "t3_2w0l6w", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by telling my gf the ending to Breaking Bad", "post": "So my girlfriend has been wanting to watch the rest of Breaking Bad for a while. She started watching it right before the final season came out. She refused to know the ending to the series, and expertly avoided all the spoilers when it was on TV and Facebook. She went so far as to stop people from talking about the show around her, and if that wasn't possible she would expertly distract herself or just walk away. If people would talk about it on the street, she would literally run away after hearing what they were saying. She was the definition of dedicated, and expertly avoided all the spoilers. \n\nSo here we are today on the couch, calling friends to get ready to go out to dinner. She's on the phone with a friend who (as usual) was making BS excuses. As soon as she gets off the phone she says that his excuse this time is that he's watching Breaking Bad. \n\nBefore I even thought about it the first thing that comes out of my mouth is \n\n**SPOILERS**\n\n\"You should call back and tell him he dies in the end\". I completely forgot about her even wanting to watch Breaking Bad, until I look at her. She was completely heartbroken, all that hardwork and I just fucked it up without even thinking about it.", "summary": "Girlfriend went to great lengths for the past year and a half to avoid hearing the ending for Breaking Bad, and I unthinkingly ruined everything"} {"id": "t3_ievuw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Stay with Econ, or switch into (Mechanical) Engineering?", "post": "I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I figure it'd be worth a shot and hope that maybe some of you guys could help me figure my life out.\n\nI studied at a UC for two years as an econ major. I had to leave for financial reasons (couldn't afford international fees) and am transferring to a university in canada, where i can pay domestic fees. However, after leaving my UC I realized I hated econ and wanted to switch into engineering, because I find math and physics interesting.\n\nMy parents are against me switching, claiming that what you study is VERY LOOSELY connected with your actual job in the future. So I might like studying engineering but hate the jobs associated with it, and I might hate studying econ but love the jobs I can find with it.\n\nAny econ majors/engineering majors who can help shed some light on this issue? What are your jobs like (stuck in a cubicle all day? working with groups of people? social environment?) \n\nFor econ majors, is it possible to find a decent job that's not finance/accounting related, or would that be too limiting?\n\nAny inputs appreciated!", "summary": "Debating about switching into engineering, but not sure what actual jobs are like in the real world. Any advice (from both econ and eng majors) are welcomed."} {"id": "t3_y95jj", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Why does she still listen?", "post": "Quick summery of my story: Me:M27, Her:F24. 4.5 happy years together. She cheats on me with co-worker at a party. She confesses to it a few days later. We split up. She's \"taking it slow\" with this other guy, although I can't help but believe he's just not that into her.\n\nIt's been just over a month since we split. Occasionally I have broken down and asked her to call me so we can talk. We are still like old friends when we chat. Although I admit that I am still too emotional at the moment to hold a civil conversation that doesn't spiral into anger/sadness. I can't help but work in little digs and tell her that this guy she is seeing is a prick (you can't blame me right haha).\n\nI'm just curious though as to why she *still* talks to me? I know I did nothing wrong but she knows that any conversation we have generally leads to me getting upset and repeating the same questions over and over again. Yet, she *still* talks to me. She's an incredibly sweet person (when she isn't cheating haha) I still don't think she is a bad person. So maybe she's just being nice or maybe it's guilt?\n\nThe last conversation we had, I completely lost it and screamed horrible things to her down the phone. I think I needed to do that as it made me feel a helluva lot better afterwards.\n\nI have since deleted her numbers to remove any temptation to contact her, although I did send her an email apologizing for my behaviour (I'm British after all haha). But I don't think we are going to talk again for a while, which is good. I need to move on.\n\nToday I feel better and it feels like I am experiencing a piece of acceptance and no longer in denial that one day we will reunite.\n\nI'm just curious as to why she would still talk to me, I know you don't know her and there could be many factors. But like I said, I'm just curious and trying to iron out any last creases of doubt.", "summary": "Ex is still willing to talk to me, listen to my anger, even though she doesn't want to get back together."} {"id": "t3_12iwgn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend (f26) left me (m25) after 4 years. I love her with all my heart. I'm in ruins.", "post": "We know each other for over 10 years and we've been a couple for the past 4 years. We live in different cities so the distance has always been a problem, but we dealt with it pretty well. \n\nI have some trust issues apperently, but they were provoked often. Specifically, her close friendship with a guy from another country and her visits to him. And even though I firmly believe that it really was nothing more than friendship I hope you can understand my position and doubts. We've had a few fights about it but always managed to get through it fine.\n\nDuring her last visit my jealousy kicked in again and I looked at her skype history (on my PC, very old conversations while she was staying here). And I also looked at her e-mail. There was some upseting stuff and I had to confront her about it. I knew how horrible it was of me to intrude her privacy like that, but I thought we would be even after a good fight. Her lying to me (no cheating) and stuff (too long to talk about all of it, I don't think anyone would read through all that) would even me being a nosey bastard, I thought.\n\nBut after a while of acting cold, last night she decides it's all over. \nI can't grasp it. I finished college almost a year ago, still jobless (I live in a screwed up country), no future prospects. I had her. She's gone now. The thing I thought was the safest thing I ever had, thing that gave me strenght and kept me sane - is gone. She says she'll be there for me, that we'll stay friends. But I don't know how to cope with that. How am I gonna react when she tells me about her new boyfriend?\n\nEverything reminds me of her because we formed as people together. I love her with every inch of me. What do I do? How do I get out of this self pitty. I don't remember when was the last time I cried, and now I'm acting like a damn baby.\n\nAdvice from people who were on the wrong side of ending a long lasting relationships?", "summary": "Girlfriend (f26) left me (m25) after 4 years. She is all I want. What do I do? How to get through this?"} {"id": "t3_32gyks", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my ex-boyfriend [28M] one year. Broke up but don't want to move on?", "post": "A month ago, my ex-boyfriend (it still doesn't feel like it) broke up with me. It was a LDR, and we had very poor communication, and I was dealing with a lot of stuff and never great at completely opening up to him. I disregarded a few of his texts for a while because I was trying to de-stress myself. Then he finally called and broke up with me. His final words: \"I'm done\" and he's had enough. I know I was at fault for the bad communication. \n\nBeen in a 7-year relationship before, but I never felt this strongly with another person before. He was almost everything I wanted in a person. Didn't have a hard time getting over the person of 7 years, but I did have troubles with the whole being afraid of getting hurt thing. Just when I started to open myself up again, my heart got crushed again. Maybe I still need to work on myself?\n\nWe loved each other very much, and I know we are both trying to move on. We decided to stay friend, but not now. I think we are doing the no contact thing, and it's only been a month. The only reason I'm staying friends with him, honestly, is because I feel like maybe in a month, 6 months, a year, we might get back together. I think about him all the time. I have so many hobbies and distractions, but my mind still continues to wander.\n\nI don't want to 'wait around'...although, I can't help but think that we might get back soon. I don't think I will meet someone as great as him.", "summary": "I miss my ex...I feel like there is still hope for us to get back, but I hate that feeling."} {"id": "t3_4236hu", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Paying off and keeping a car that I won't use for 1-2 years--a good idea?", "post": "The car I have:\n\n* 2010 Mazda hatchback\n\n* 65k miles\n\n* KBB value: ~$10.5k\n\nAfter 5 years, I still owe $6500 on it in $400/month payments. (My parents had just gone through bankruptcy, so we took an extremely long loan.) It has been sitting at my parents' house for 1 year while I have been working my first job in Korea. Now I have $12k in savings and could conceivably just pay it off for good.\n\nBut I may have the opportunity to go work in France for 1-2 years. The car would sit mostly unused, but I wouldn't have a car payment when I return. That sounds like the safer option to me.\n\nMy dad disagrees. He thinks I should sell it, pocket that $4000, and then also close the life insurance policy he sold me in high school and pocket the $4000 value that's in that. He sells insurance and sold me that policy when I was in high school. My understanding was that you should never use life insurance as an investment, but he says that's not true. He says I can just start another car loan when I get back.\n\nI'm really trying to be careful here. What do you say, /r/personalfinance? Thanks in advance!", "summary": "Should I sell a car that I won't use for 1-2 years, or should I keep it to avoid a car payment in 1-2 years?"} {"id": "t3_247l3j", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "Question for you armchair cat psychologists", "post": "Just wondering if someone here is good at interpreting cat behavior. I adopted an adult male cat about two months ago, and he's awesome. But as the weeks have drawn on, he's grown less interested in getting petted or cuddling, and more interested in playing. The thing is, he'd way rather play with me than a toy.\n\nHere's a typical interaction: He meows at me to get my attention. I look over or get up, and he leads me to the kitchen. I follow him and try to pet him, he responds with some playful swats. I reciprocate, then I have to lay off because he's got sharp claws and I'm made of flesh. I try to sub in a toy and he has no interest, so he walks away. As he walks away, food catches his eye and he stops for a bite. Then we repeat the process.\n\nAs recently as last week he was very insistently meowing at me to pick him up, but he doesn't do that as much right now. He also doesn't purr with the force he did recently.\n\nI guess my question is what does this behavior indicate? Has he grown more comfortable with me as an owner, or somehow resentful? Can cats even feel and express resent? Does he long for a second cat to play with? Is he bored?", "summary": "Recently adopted adult cat wants to play with me, not his toys; cat doesn't enjoy affectionate gestures from me as much as he did when he first joined my house. Thoughts?"} {"id": "t3_3lbu9n", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "Not Your Average Traveler vs Tourist Debate...but which are you?", "post": "I'm curious to know what Reddit thinks, NOT OF THE TOURIST/TRAVELER debate itself, but more of which term you would use to describe yourself and why? The terms mean basically the same thing, but each term almost has a negative connotation. (If you're a tourist, then you're not adventurous. If you're a traveler, then you're elitist because you think you're better than a tourist)\n\nDo you travel a lot, but tend to stick to popular destinations, but because of your on-the-go-lifestyle consider yourself a traveler? \n\nDo you travel infrequently and so consider yourself a tourist, despite that your travel destinations may not include \"touristy\" things to do? \n\nWhy do you pick the term you do? \n\nIf you're not aware of the Traveler/Tourist debate, it boils down to thus: Most people consider being a Traveler different from being a Tourist in that Travelers look for the \"authentic\" side of a destination, where \"the locals go.\" While Tourists stick to the well-known, beaten paths of a city (remember, they're \"tourist-y\" for a reason).", "summary": "Traveler and Tourist mean pretty much the same thing, yet we get really butthurt over which term we choose to use. Which way do you refer to yourself and why?"} {"id": "t3_vs77p", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "So she is menstruating, in pain, moody, hormonal and totally insists we hang out/date tomorrow ! We are probably going to fight and break up if we do... suggestions?", "post": "M28,F28\n\nBefore I start I like this girl... she is a child abuse survivor and we have many good things in common, but deep down she has huge issues that are unresolved. \n\nI hope this does not turn into a bitch session, but my girlfriend of 3 weeks has been irking the shit out of me... I really want to make this work but tonight's conversation highlighted why this isnt going to work...\n\nSo what are you doing? - Washing dishes... (she spends hours a night washing dishes)\nWhy dont you use paper plates? -- Oh I dont want to destroy any trees.\nHow about the dishwasher-- Oh that waste water, and makes higher bills.\nWhat about when you cook, do you ever use the microwave? -- No those are dangerous, can cause cancer...\nHave you spoken to your family.... 10 minute rant about a horrible childhood.\nWhat have you been doing all night -- Cleaning (she is an OCD cleaner)... the last time we hung out, we spent about 2 hours washing dishes, she then breaks out the broom, vacuum and is in so much pain from her time of the month just sits there like a rag doll, as I try to hold her. \n\nShe then insists that we hang out tomorrow, even though she will be miserable... but hey she says... you got to get used to it if were dating long term... \n\nWe are going to go out, she is going to be miserable and we are going to fight and break up I can see it as clear as daylight. Maybe this is not meant to work, but why would anyone ever want to go out, when they feel like death? \n\nI am probably coming off as an asshole, and I do want to make it work, I feel that each cycle is going to kill me off little by little...", "summary": "GF has these stabbing horrible periods that drive us insane... she insists we still hang out... if we do this tomorrow a fight will probably happen and we will break up."} {"id": "t3_3yo9ky", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26F] with my coworker/friend [28F] friends for 2 years, worked on project that was screwed up", "post": "I met her through work and we became friends. We were in 2 separate departments for most of this time, however, recently she was switched into mine.\n\nA few weeks ago we worked on our first project together, and just got news today that we majorly screwed up. Our client is under litigation and our field notes were incorrectly filled out, and the labels were switched for 2 samples. \n\nBut here's the kicker... I didn't do any of the writing. I collected the samples and needed measurements and handed them off to her. I've done this project before a few times and have never made these mistakes.\n\nI said something in confidence to my direct superior, but told him I would take the blame along with her. However, after the meeting (where we got our asses handed to us) I am really bummed. \n\nShould I just keep my mouth shut and take the blame too, since I was there and I didn't look over the notes or double check stuff, or should I discretely say something? She wasn't shadowing me, we were equals in this situation. \n \n\nIs my friendship worth my professional reputation or is my reputation worth my friendship?", "summary": "Coworker / friend and I messed up on project but it wasn't directly my fault, do I keep my mouth shut for sake of friendship or discretely say something to save my professional reputation?"} {"id": "t3_2hhv65", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description", "post": "New here, but you all have come highly recommended from a close friend and I appreciate any comments, thank you. Here it is.\n\nWe both go to college together, same major, and we sit next to each other in two classes. We started hanging out Oct 5th of last year and it was great. Shes smarter than me and helps with homework which is nice, but its not a reason to keep a relationship alive.\n\nThere are two main problems that I've been dwelling on for the past few weeks. As far as I can tell, she is very much in love with me, but I've come to see that although I like her, I do not love her. One problem remains with this because I cant determine a definite reason why I don't...\n\nI don't know how to break up with her. I care about her, so I don't want to crush her, but I think its just as bad to go on thinking that, \"maybe if I stick it out for awhile I will see something different and then love her again.\"\n\nBest case scenario: We remain friends and can both look fondly on memories shared, mostly that she can move on without excessive agony. I'd rather no longer be friends and have her be happy sooner than try to hold up a friendship if you guys think it'll make a difference.\n\nAny help or comments are greatly appreciated and questions are also welcome! Thank you so much for reading.\n\nExcessive background: Small classes (20+-5). Military with similar interest in field so good chance our paths will cross for at least the next two years. This is my longest relationship I've ever held. She just had her wisdom teeth out today. Im leaving for a football game at noon tomorrow.", "summary": "Almost 1 year, intertwined lives, she loves but I don't. I don't know when or how best to break it off."} {"id": "t3_1w6kgh", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Applying to schools... after a break period in the military.", "post": "This is something that I've been sweating for a while now... Going on two years now, I've been enlisted in the Air Force, and for a solid chunk of that time, I've been pushing to get a scholarship and find a way to work on a bachelors full-time. Lo and behold, among dozens of outdated, done-away-with military scholarships, I've found what I need. My only problem now is applying to a school and getting in... However, I was a bit of a dirtbag in high school and barely graduated by the skin of my teeth. I've turned my shit around since then, have been making rank as fast as I can, and am currently more than halfway done with my associate's, but what I really need to know is how realistically improved my chances of getting into a good school will be.", "summary": "I was a douche in high school and enlisted in the Air Force, but I turned my shit around and am now driven to get my degree full-time. How much will being military help with applications?"} {"id": "t3_2a63c1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 M] with my wife [29 F] married for 7 years, has thrown out the Divorce term, but claims she wants to work things out.", "post": "I've been married 7 years and have two kids aged 5 and 2. Recently I had to have major surgery, and while I was recovering my wife told me to pack up and move out b/c she had to figure stuff out. She told me I had an attitude problem, and wasn't the same person she fell in love with. She stopped having sex with me, and told me she wants to wait a while and see where things end up. My wife has a habit of withholding the truth, and the most recent example is lying about when she works at night in an effort to get out of the house away from me. I feel like this is a major warning sign.\n\nThis marriage is important to me, and my kids, because when I took marriage vows I meant them, and committed to working through any problems that may have arisen. I feel that she is slipping through my fingers, and I am in no control to resolve this issues at hand. It seems like everything must wait in the balance while she figures herself out. \n\nI have had to make some wholesale changes in my life, including my diet, exercise habits, my friends, and now my marriage, but I am not adverse to change, especially if it is going to better me as a human. I feel like the changes I make aren't going to be enough to salvage this marriage, because it feels like it could be too late. Even though I don't feel her reciprocating love toward me, I still put a major effort into making her feel special every day. I get her coffee ready before she wakes every morning, and leave a love note with it. I sneak up behind her and hold her and whisper how beautiful she is into her ear. These are just a few examples of ways I focus on her everyday. Every women deserves special treatment, but I'm starting to feel maybe I should focus on someone else and move on myself.", "summary": "Wife wants divorce, but says she's willing to give me a chance to convince her to stay. Is it even worth it?"} {"id": "t3_2vnb1h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20F] need advice on talking to my boyfriend [22M] about making our relationship less boring.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and a half years, and it's a really loving, stable relationship. My only problem is that we always do the same thing for date night, and that is going out to dinner. It's becoming boring and predictable, which I know can happen in a long-term relationship after a while, but I'm starting to feel like it's a chore to go and do the same thing over and over again with no variety. I love him and I get excited to see him, just not for our actual dates. We have plans for the day after Valentine's Day (we're celebrating a day later to avoid the VDay crowds) to get dinner again, and I want to know how I can ask him to cancel and change those plans so we can do something more exciting. I just don't know how to say it without hurting his feelings. I know it's kind of a stupid question, but I'm asking because we planned this dinner almost 2 months ago and I would be canceling it on such short notice.", "summary": "Want to work on making our relationship more exciting. Need a way to ask boyfriend for \"better\" Valentine's Day plans."} {"id": "t3_4bsk8x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] almost one year, broke up- how do I get him to talk to me again?", "post": "My boyfriend broke up with me last week because he said he is dealing with depression and could not be in a relationship with me anymore. \nI was extremely hurt because I had no idea he was feeling depressed and the breakup was so sudden and out of the blue to me. Also I am taking my MCAT on April 1st, so the sudden breakup just seemed like the worst thing to happen before my exam.\nI feel regretful that he did not tell me earlier when he started feeling depressed, because recently we have had fights mostly because of stress from college- but obviously if I knew he was dealing with depression I would not have fought with him at all. I really did not want the break up to happen.\n\nAfter the breakup, he said he wanted to remain friends. However, I got angry with him- feeling that he was messing up my future by choosing to break up with me before my MCAT. so I blocked him on facebook. Afterwards, I immediately regretted it because I knew that he would be very hurt by it. \nNow, I want him to know that I want to be there for him, but I am not sure how to make him talk to me. His friend told me he is very hurt and not talking to anyone. I have sent texts saying that I apologized for blocking him on facebook, but he has not replied. Should I re-add him on facebook? Send another text? I just don't know what to do to get him to talk to me...\n\nThis is my first relationship, so I really don't know what is best to do.\n\nI really want to just see if he's okay. I want to be there for him.", "summary": "boyfriend broke up with me before mcat, I blocked him, now i regret it and don't know what to do next."} {"id": "t3_1rm6y3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend of 9 Months dumped me unexpectedly. (Need Help, please read and respond, sorry for the long story)", "post": "So I have been dating a single mom (34 with a 4 year old boy) for nine months (I'm 27). Our relationship was so great, we did everything together and I was a big part of her and her families life. Her son loved me, always asked about me, I taught him to skateboard and we got along so well. We had a really great summer, I went on vacation with her family and they really liked me, her nephews (twin 7 year old boys) would tell me they loved me, life was going good. So in October we went to Florida to visit her family, and spent 3 days in Disney World. Her family really liked me but when we got to Disney there was a problem with the room (I thought it was paid for and didnt have enough on me to cover it). So I ended up owing her 400$. When we returned I started paying her back, 50$-100$ a week. Well after we returned she started getting real distant from me, she was getting mad at me all the time over nothing and kept saying she was just a little sad and it was nothing to worry about. Well last Friday without warning she dumped me, said that her Ex-Husband was dating a girl that basically replaced her. Plays on her old softball team, is coaching her ex's other daughter (not my girls kid) in softball and is and I quote \"living her life.\" I'm really hurt by all this and kind of a mess. I want her back but I'm worried that shes not over her old life. What do I do???", "summary": "My g.f dumped me shortly after our vacation to Disney saying that her ex's new g.f is living her life."} {"id": "t3_3qm1if", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30F] with my boyfriend [30M] for a year, I am making myself suffer needlessly", "post": "I am in a loving relationship, but am constantly worried it's going to turn bad or that he doesn't love me. The thing is, he's never done anything to make me feel this way. It's all coming from me and my insecurities about myself. Sometimes, I think of worst case scenarios and I play it out as if it has happened. I feel the emotions that would come as if it had happened. Then I get sad. \n\nThe thoughts I tend to play out are sad. For example, my boyfriend having feelings for another person. I make myself suffer needlessly. And, I take it out on my boyfriend by asking about said thought and looking for reassurance. He understandably gets upset and frustrated because he does love me and it's like saying I don't trust him. I feel disoriented and like I have no perspective about how to live a normal healthy life without making myself suffer. I guess my question is, what are some tools that I can use to correct my thought patterns. I want peace of mind. Thanks in advance for any thoughts or advice you guys might have.", "summary": "I play out sad thoughts in my head and make myself needlessly suffer and my boyfriend is getting the brunt of it."} {"id": "t3_4kk3x8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am [29 M], a friend [14 F] of my 12y sister, is 'in love' with me, how to deal carefully with it or where to ask?", "post": "Hello and apologies if this is the wrong subreddit to ask this kind of question, please point me to the right direction.\n\nTo explain the situation better, picture I have a sister with a big age difference, I am 29 she is 12, I like to play videogames with her and her best friend (14 F) occasionally\n\nIn the island we live, a very closed community of 3000 people, it is VERY common for young girls of 16-20 to make relationships with 30-40 men, mainly cause they want to escape their parents house and lifestyle (family business etc), through marriage, pregnancy etc\n\nIt has come to my attention, mainly through my mother who is very observant (since I am hopeless with women) that this girl really REALLY likes me, it started from tickles (I am very suspectible to tickles) to personal questions like if I have a girlfriend and such.\n\nDo **NOT** take me for a pervert, even though I like the attention since no women above 18 even looks at me (I am so workaholic), this is a delicate situation, her family is divorced and her father [45 M] is an alcoholic, swearing, abusing pig (I do not think he hits her though) and I happen to be in good terms with her mother [35 F], we are coworkers, with an occasional flirt.\n\nI want to save this particular girl from this situation, since I really like her as a person, she is quite mature for her age but anything I do will affect my way too young sister as well\n\nI have started by avoiding her (no videogames and touching)\n\nShould I talk to her mother?", "summary": "An very cool underage girl likes me, I don't deal with such situations well and I want her to avoid a worse than me scenario."} {"id": "t3_ux188", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, can you identify this bug?", "post": "I went camping in the BC interior last weekend, on the last day I kept feeling a prick in my leg and several times rolled up my pant leg to find it. I didnt find anything and assumed it was a small seed that has hooks on it stuck inside my pant leg, which has happened before. Fast forward 10hrs later to when I get home and take off my pants to have a shower, this bug crawls out. Not knowing if it will fly away and get lost in my house somewhere I quickly used my sock to grab it and take it outside. When I get outside it gets stuck inside my sock, it has several small barbs on its legs, which was the pricking i felt, finally get it out of my sock and put a glass over it. Now im trying to figure out what it is, in the 10 years I have been camping at the same place I have never seen it before. So Reddit, WTF is this thing?", "summary": "I had this huge bug in my pants, pricking my thigh for 10hrs, and want to know what it is."} {"id": "t3_3f8lz9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Co worker relationship [25/m] my girlfriend [24/f] my coworker [30/f]", "post": "Hello all! Just a quick heads up this is a throw away for obvious reasons. Basically I want/need to talk about this situation I been having at work. Here is the back story. I currently live with my girlfriend we been together for about 3 years and been living with each other for the last 1.5. We moved in together to deal with the high rent of living in a big city. Things with us are overall great but we just don't have sex enough. I tired having many open talks about this but it seems to never change. It's frustrating and getting to the point where I question our relationship. So I been dealing with these personal issues but then something came up at work. This coworker of mine and I have recently developed this weird relationship where we talk dirty to each other. It started off small but has gotten very graphic over the last few weeks. We text each other every day during work about all types of things but never after work. She also has a boyfriend that she lives with. We have certain rules like: we will never have physical contact and like previously stated, no contact after work. It is only just talking but it gets us off because we shouldn't be doing it. Now it's getting to the point where I don't know where to turn. Should I dump my girlfriend whom I live with to find someone more sexually active. Or should I stay with her and keep this type of innocent/ naughty conversations on the side. I never dealt with something like this and it's really getting to me. Any input will help .", "summary": "I have a girlfriend I live with who doesn't put out and j have a horny coworker who talks dirty to me"} {"id": "t3_3ake4t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (f21) am beginning to be disgusted by my relationship with (m57) but I have become dependent and don't know how to leave.", "post": "P and I have been dating for over a year, and I moved in with him a few months ago. At this point, I don't know what I was thinking. I think I was looking for love any way I could find it. I was sexually/verbally/emotionally abused by my father from birth to 12, so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it.\n\nI do think P is extremely interesting, he is an academic (in fact, he teaches at the university I graduated from). I also think he's incredibly attractive, and I love being intimate with him. But I've realized there is literally nothing of true value for this relationship and I'd like to be with someone in the future that is able to be what I want and would be more conducive long-term.\n\nI just feel extremely down on myself knowing I'm this man's girlfriend. And that I live with him and I am completely financially dependent on him. At this point it is almost impossible to move out because I have an internship that doesn't make any money, so I have no source of income and I do not talk to any family (due to all of the fuck-upedness). \n\nI just feel so uneasy that he would let things get this far with me at my age. I've just had so many revelations in the last couple of weeks because he has been gone across the country doing research. \n\nI do not know what to do. He's not at all abusive, he treats me like an equal. So I don't feel in danger of being harmed. I just don't have any money, and I don't have any family. I really don't have any friends to help either, seeing as to how my close friends are 1500 miles away.\n\nI guess I'm just looking for any kind of advice to get out of this situation.", "summary": "I've been dating a guy that's almost 40 years older than me and I didn't realize it was fucked until I live with him and am financially dependent on him."} {"id": "t3_2obvb7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I f(17) have run into some issues stopping me from actually dating and I am wondering what should be my next step.", "post": "Every time I get close to someone I freak out. After I start to like someone and hang out with them a lot, we get closer and then I become afraid and try to avoid them. I feel like I am not capable of being around one person for too long without becoming tired of being with the same person and/or being afraid to get closer to them. How am I supposed to have a boyfriend if I have this problem? I have felt both of these things with a male(18) but then once I start backing off I miss him again. He is really the only person I\n have ever actually had a crush on. I have never really felt anything quite the same for anyone else. I dont know what is wrong with me. I really like him but then once we start getting close I start having these issues. \n\nThese issues have lead me to a multitude of questions: Is it me? Is he just not a good match? If so why cant I get over him?(I have liked him for about a year with periods of having the feelings mentioned above) Is it normal to not want to be around the same person all the time? Do other couples feel this way when they are with there SO non stop? Should I just try to force myself to dive in to a dating situation and ask him out on an actual date? Should I cut my losses and just let it go?", "summary": "I have liked this guy for a little over a year but have run into some emotional/mental blocks that are stopping me from dating someone."} {"id": "t3_3nlr1y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22F] Friend [21F] Smacked My Son [3M]", "post": "My son is 3 years old and I've always been hesitant about having him around my friends since most people my age don't have much experience with parenting, one of my best friends is the only one I allow to ever babysit him, but I don't know if I want to now. She was over on Saturday and she got angry at my son for throwing her shoe down the stairs. I don't believe in corporal punishment whatsoever, and she knows that too. But when he threw her shoe down the stairs she smacked him, and not even just a little smack on the butt, but like a smack right across the face. That absolutely pissed me off and I couldn't believe she did that. He cried and broke my heart, I told her that's not okay and that's not how I discipline my child. And she seemed apologetic and understanding, her and my parents take turns sitting him while I work. She wanted to look after him Sunday while I worked and my parents did the past couple times so I felt guilty saying no to her, even though I didn't want her looking after him. So I dropped him off at her place before work and the entire time I was so anxious and worried about if that's not the only time she's hit him. What do I do if it happens again? How do I build up the courage to stand up to her and tell her I don't want her looking after him anymore?", "summary": "My friend smacked my son for throwing her shoe down the stairs, she looks after him sometimes and I don't know if I want her to anymore."} {"id": "t3_13ngyh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what are your best, or possibly worst, camping experiences?", "post": "For me, about a year ago a few buddies and I went up to a cabin out in the middle of nowhere that very few people know about. Our hike most of the way was through a big old winter storm coming in. Upon arrival and a few beers we decided to take our liquid courage into sledding form. Eventually I ended up slamming into a tree (fortunately without injury). After that we all sat around smoking cigars while looking at a mountain across the valley, and we came to the dead set conclusion that some maniac mountain man was hiking the damn thing pretty close to sunset, and thought he was for sure in for a very cold night in sub zero temps. After that we moved our efforts into the cabin and made some delicious dinner consisting of cheese bratwursts, onions, green peppers, and whatever else we could find. Once bed time rolled around one of my buddies tried to stumble up the ladder to the loft of the cabin, and ended up slipping off and falling around 8 feet right onto my back. Didn't even care at this point and just started cracking up for the next few minutes. All in all just fun with a bunch of guys in the middle of fucking nowhere.", "summary": "Sledded into trees, convinced ourselves a rock was climbing a mountain, and made some damn good food in a blizzard."} {"id": "t3_3x2zep", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [32M] with the mutual friends of an ex-fiance and the new girl(s) [31F] I'm dating...", "post": "Was engaged 8 months ago. \n\nJust starting dating again.\n\nNew girl and I have gone exclusive so its time to meet some of my friends. \n\nOne social circle of mine is mostly all mutual friends with my ex-fiance. There are no problems there and I'm happy everybody is still getting along.\n\nHowever the new girl has expressed some concerns she'll be compared against the ex-fiance. New girl has a small amount of anxiety about the situation and that she'll be judged unfairly.\n\nI'm not concerned at all because my friends are awesome and non-judgmental but I'm wondering if there is anything I can do to make everything more comfortable for the new girl.\n\nI can totally understand the trepidation but I'm not worried. My friends are amazing and non-judgmental. I've conveyed everything, communication about the scenario has been open and honest. However I'm not the best at understanding the full dynamics at play so reddits advice is appreciated.\n\nFYI ex-fiance will be avoided if the new bae is there. I'll avoid that dynamic for a while.", "summary": "How do I make a new ladyfriend feel welcome in a social situation surrounded by mutual friends with my ex-fiance."} {"id": "t3_1rf8g5", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I (21/M) tell her (20/F) that I'm not sure I'm ready to be in a relationship right now?", "post": "Hello everyone!\n\nI just got out of a year long relationship just a couple weeks ago and have since decided it'd be best to stay single for the remainder of my time in college. I graduate in Spring and am not sure where I'm going after, so starting a new relationship probably isn't the best idea right now.\n\nI've been hanging out with a girl I intern with the past couple weeks and it became apparent rather quickly that she liked me. I didn't want to jump the gun and tell her I wasn't interested in dating because I enjoyed her company and didn't think it was anything serious. Our hangouts were pretty much limited to watching movies and eating food so I wasn't too worried that I was leading her on. I was doing what I could to distance myself and not act flirty around her to avoid giving her the wrong idea. Last night, however, as I was getting ready to walk out her door, she grabbed me and kissed me. I didn't exactly hate getting kissed so I didn't do much to stop her. \n\nI'm not really sure if she is interested in dating me or if she's just looking to have a fling with me so I'm not sure how to proceed. If it's the former, how can I tell her I don't want to be in a relationship?", "summary": "girl that likes me kissed me last night. Just got out of a long relationship and not looking to date. Unsure of how to proceed."} {"id": "t3_z8o4i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Met girl [23f] online, I'm [24m] not sure if she likes me but I'm just not quite good enough and she is looking for someone just a smidge better. Or if I'm being played.", "post": "I [24m] met this girl [23f] through a dating site (only been seeing each other for 3 weeks). We've been on two dates so far and text a lot (she lives rather far so it's a bit of a production to meet up). I'm pretty smitten for her and asked if she wanted to go exclusive a couple days after the first date. She said it was too soon and I agreed and just went with it. I generally like to move quickly in relationships to get to a level of comfort. I believe she is less experienced with dating though.\n\nI don't mind waiting if she wants to take things slow with me. The problem I have is that I still see her on the dating site some times (I have her on my favorites list and can see when she is online). It really bothers me. I can take it slow with her just fine but if there is a chance I could lose her by hanging back.. it hurts. \n\nOr am I the one with the problem? I think I need some perspective.", "summary": "Met girl online, I'm not sure if she likes me but I'm just not quite good enough and she is looking for someone just a smidge better. Or if I'm being played."} {"id": "t3_1n148e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [28m] am coming home the day after our 6 month anniversary after being away from my gf [25f]. I am sending an anniversary gift. Thoughts on my wording of the note?", "post": "Gwarster's GF,\n\nSix months ago today, you drove a little bit too far past my house, parked your car, and awkwardly walked up to my house in that beautiful turquoise dress. I didn't know exactly what would happen that night. I know I was nervous. I tried on four different ties and two shirts before you had even parked. While you walked up that afternoon, I saw you as I finished my last half-windsor and figured it would be best to throw caution to the wind and pretend to feel as confident with you as I should have been. Truth be told? I was really nervous.\n\nI remember the nervousness I felt in the cab, at the theater, the restaurant, at the bar... Even when your lips pressed against mine and I felt that electricity that you and I could patent as a renewable source of energy to solve world hunger.. I was nervous... and electric... and excited. I was all of those things because you changed my life that night. I met someone truly beautiful. Someone who is equally attractive in a white dress, black boots, or a strongly worded thesis on the effectiveness of the contemporary feminist movement. \n\nI love you when we argue. I love you when we kiss, when we fight, and when we sweat together. I never imagined I'd be so lucky to have a catch like you.\n\nYou changed my life that night. For the last six months from precisely today, you've made my life intrinsically better. \n\nTomorrow I'm coming home.\n\nI hope that for the next six months I can change your life in the same way you've changed mine.\n\nI love you.\n\nSee you tomorrow.\n\nP.S. Wear a dress. Leggings/pants won't serve you well. I'm going to make up for lost time.", "summary": "I am thinking of attaching the entire upper portion of this post to a 6 month anniversary after being apart for 4.5 months. I come home permanently one day after this will be delivered. I am looking for input."} {"id": "t3_2kre0k", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "I am in serious need of a solution to a big problem.", "post": "I guess I need to start off by saying that I live in Wisconsin where weed is very much illegal. My boyfriend and I have a baby girl due in January and for his job security he has given up smoking and has been clean since around March of this year.\n\nHere is the issue: My boyfriend seems to resent me because I don't want to risk it by having weed back in our lives. I understand it is difficult to give up something that you enjoy. I have made many sacrifices being pregnant. He constantly brings up how much he misses it and wishes he could smoke again. Meanwhile, he is trying to find a better job and pretty much any good place around here will drug test. Also, where we live has a strict \"no drugs\" policy. So, if he were to get caught, he would lose his job, we would be evicted and he would have the charges on his record. As a first time mother I definitely feel that the negatives outweigh the positives in this situation. He doesn't seem to understand and he says that I am \"not letting him be himself\". If weed were legal, I wouldn't be as uptight about it. But the reality of the situation is that weed is NOT legal in our state and too much is on the line. Every time we try to talk about it, he just gets mad at me and shuts down... I don't know what else to do. Does anyone have any constructive advice for me?", "summary": "My boyfriend resents me for not wanting weed in our lives with a new baby in the picture. Too much is on the line with it not being legalized in our state."} {"id": "t3_4gq9z5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 F] with my husband [32 M] 9 years, he told me sometimes he just wants to end it all.", "post": "I'm posting because I'm really not sure what to do and, I'm really scared.\n\nMe and my husband were introduced to each other by a mutual friend and, he's amazing. He can be really sweet at times he treats me right and, I really love him.\n\nHe's seemed happy throughout the years and has never showed signs of being unhappy. Last night really scared the shit out of me and, broke my heart at the same time.\n\nHe went out drinking(you can walk there and back the bar is only 2 blocks away) and didn't come home until 4:00am which is really unusual for him. \n\nI went downstairs and saw he was in the bathroom throwing up so I went in there. Turns out he wasn't he was actually crying(he has never ever cried in all of our time together) and I asked him what was wrong.\n\nHe told me sometimes he feels like just ending it all because he can't take it anymore. I actually started crying because it hurt so much to hear him talk like that.\n\nI held him for most of the night before I took him to bed he went to work this morning. He was acting normal but I could tell something was still bothering him I could see it in his face.\n\nI'm not sure what do I do what should I say to him when he gets home.", "summary": "my husband got drunk and came home late I found him in the bathroom crying and he told me sometimes he wants to \"end it all\" not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_qg4cc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Friend that i have feelings for just got into a relationship. Do i tell them how i feel, or forever hold my silence?", "post": "So, i'm crazy about a person who also happens to be a good friend. In the beginning, we really hit it off and most of our friends thought we would definitetly get together, just a matter of time. But i've known him for over a year now and nothing doing...we are both quite shy. We talk a lot and share stuff, whenever we're together there's a lot of accidentally-on-purpose physical content...tension etc...friends who didn't even know i had feelings for him would always say he was being really obvious...you get the picture. recently, i found out that he was seeing someone casually, but he told me that he wasn't that into her, he just knew she liked him and he wanted to be with someone...i was bursting to tell him that she wasn't his only option...but i didn't. he was still being very affectionate with me and i thought he might still choose me. now they are together and i'm gutted. i feel he has led me on. do i confront him? what do i say? \nReddit, thanks so much for reading this - please give me some advice!", "summary": "guy i'm friends with and have feelings for gave me loads of signals that he felt more than friendly toward me, now he's with someone. do i tell him the truth?"} {"id": "t3_2dsla2", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Could a girl(16f) who friendzoned me(16m) start liking me after some time?", "post": "There is this girl who I liked whom I confessed to three years ago through text(yes, now I know not to do that) of which she responded with an 'Okay ;x'. I never really knew whether that was friendzoning or not but that's what I thought it was. \n\nFastforward to the future when I decided to move on and go after another girl. However, around this time she started showing signs that she liked me. For example, she seemed a lot more hyper around me. There was one time when we did that thing in Tarzan when he met Jane and they put their hands together(to compare hand sizes, but we stayed like that for too long for just comparing hand sizes, also nobody compares hand sizes so did she ask because she liked me?) Also, even though we were not being squeezed in a crowd and had a lot of space around, she seems to purposely lean on me to try to see something. Also, there was one time I visited her class and then one of her classmates called her name then pointed at me like he was suggesting something to her about me. \n\nAlso, when texting her she would use a lot of caps and laugh a lot. \nThen, when I moved on to the girl I'd mentioned(called girl B to avoid confusion), the girl in question(girl A) and B are actually best friends. So when I heard that B got a boyfriend recently(who is A's cousin), I wanted to confirm it by asking A. Ever since then, her replies have less laughs and emotes, and she gives one-word replies more often. Could she be upset that I like B? \n\nSo could she like me?", "summary": "Girl I liked friendzoned me. After a while she seemed to show signs of interest. I'm not sure if they really are though, so could she like me?"} {"id": "t3_2twurw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Did anyone get monthly space books when they were a child? If so do you remember what it was called?", "post": "Dear reddit,\nWhen I was a child my father had a monthly subscription for some space magazine. The way it worked:\nThey sent us a large 4 inch binder with several starter articles about space and every month they would send 4 new articles (one for every week I assume) to add to the binder. These articles included information about the stars, planets, important/key figures involved in space exploration, key events and the technology behind it all.\nNow that I'm a father I'm looking for the same or similar program for my daughter. Does anyone have any idea what I'm talking about or something similar?", "summary": "I'm looking for space books (similar to the zoobooks subscription) for my daughter so she can learn about space."} {"id": "t3_36781z", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Can an employer refuse to offer a check as payment?", "post": "I am trying to find if there is any lawful documentation stating that an employer must offer a check. Right now my company only offers direct deposit as payment, and states simply \"they can't\" cut a check (and we have a full accounting department that has the ability to physically print checks, so that is not an issue.) \n\nNormally DD wouldn't be an issue, however, the way the DD works, the payment hits the account nearly 3-5 days after the pay stub is made available, dependent on the bank.\n\nExample:\nPay period is 1st-15th, the 15th falls on a Saturday. The pay stub won't even be processed until the following Monday (17th), then it takes 2-3 business days (this is mostly dependent on the bank at this point) for the money to actually hit the account. \n\nThis happens almost every pay period, and it is even worse when there is a holiday on a Monday, because everything is pushed back even further.", "summary": "I am trying to find some sort of legal webpage/document stating that an employer must issue a check as payment (and that direct deposit be just an option)."} {"id": "t3_2hvmg7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "The girl [20f] i'm interested in has told me [18m] there's another guy... I've been hurt to many times to care...", "post": "So from my post history, this girl was acting weird when i told her how i felt towards her..\n\nTurns out there's another guy that she is semi interested in, this little thing has been going on for roughly a year and she is confused as to what she wants...\n\nI honestly like her so much, and i haven't felt this way about someone for a good long fucking time. I feel like i should be angrier about the situation but i simply can't be..\n\nI feel that i have been hurt to many times to care about this.. (Was cheated on by my last 2 girlfriends so this doesn't seem so bad to me).\n\nI have told her that needs to make a decision between me and him and she keeps telling me that she feels that she wants me but isn't sure.\n\nI don't know what to do, how do i get a decision from her. I just want to fucking know so i can either move on or settle down..", "summary": "Girl acts weird when i confess my feelings, explains there's another dude, I've been hurt too many times to give a fuck, i want an answer."} {"id": "t3_w16c8", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[18F] I want to break up with my boyfriend [23M], but I'm scared I won't have any support from my once-friends.", "post": "I recently started thinking about my 18 month relationship with my boyfriend, who is five years older than me. We grew up in the same small town, but just started to talk and date in December 2010. We were complete opposites, as he did drugs and drank alot while I was the quiet straight A student who was just starting to come out of her shell.\nAnyways, throughout the year until now, he has cheated on me, lied to me, slept with my cousin and went behind my back to do drugs again (he quit drinking and drugs in the first few months of the relationship). I know I should have broken it off then, but I was head over heels as he is my first love. The real problem here is his insecurities. He won't let me have any sort of social networking site, and I lost almost all of my friends because of him. He is a very controlling person. There is no trust in the relationship. He also wants to get married and have kids, but I'm only 18 and I'm starting college in the city this fall. Our plan was to move to an apartment there, and I'll go to school while he works. But he doesn't trust me at the school alone (that's how bad his trust issues are with me).\n\nAs I read back on all of this, there is plenty reason to end the relationship. What I am scared of is that my friends, who I stopped talking to for my boyfriend, won't accept me back. Most recently, it has been my best friend who I lost. I feel like if I break it off, I'll end up with nobody. What do I do?", "summary": "Boyfriend is very controlling and I lost most of my friends due to the relationship. If I break up with him, I'll end up with nothing. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3mgvh9", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[KS] First time poss. Of marijuana and poss. Of drug para. (Pipe) any advice would be appreciated!", "post": "Last night me and 4 other buddy's were caught and arrested for about 2 grams of marijuana and also a piece. We are all about 19 and we got released from jail last night on O/R which is just them having faith I will appear for court in about 10 days on the scheduled day. All 5 of us received the same charges which were \"Poss. Of marijuana; poss. Of drug paraphernalia.\"\n\nI was just wondering if anyone can give me advice on how to handle this? I've had no priors or anything on my record until now, so would anyone know what to expect? \n \nI already plan on staying of drugs and alcohol after this wake up call and I know i won't have any issues stopping.", "summary": "first time poss and poss of drug paraphernalia. I'm not sure what's going to happen next and how I should approach this."} {"id": "t3_1w7l9g", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "26/m This girl [24/f] I'm dating wants to take it slow. Can someone elaborate on how to do that?", "post": "So I took this girl out on a date. The next day she told me that she wants me to take it slow with her, but doesn't want me to be scared off. She said she has been hurt too many times. Whatever that's fine. We continued to talk for a few days before i asked her out again. she agreed. We have since had 3 dates out and the last 2 saturdays, she has had me to her place to hangout. We have a group date scheduled on friday with 2 other couples.\n\nClearly she likes me, so how do I take it slow with her? Are we moving at a good pace? Only thing that has me worried is that I haven't kissed her on the lips yet. I kiss her on the cheek every time... I only do this because she wanted to move slow. Am I moving too slow? I really like this girl", "summary": "1st date she said she wants to move slow. We've been on 3 dates since and have another scheduled for Friday. What's too slow?"} {"id": "t3_12m9ml", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So I went to a party Wednesday. I was the only straight, single guy there and the only straight, single girl there turned me down. Reddit, when have you too had the sweet spot of odds and still got nowhere?", "post": "I'll elaborate slightly on my story. I'm at university (college for US users) and live next door to students at a rival university.\n\nIt's Halloween evening and my 'wonderful' housemates pull the same shit they always do. Go out without me. \n\nI pop into my kitchen and see next door having an awesome party.\n\nSocially awesome penguin goes round next door, ringing doorbell and knocking door. Note that we haven't had much to do with these guys yet. Said hi once or twice, but not much else. Socially awkward penguin quickly realises no one will answer the door as they assume it's trick or treaters.\n\nNip back round my house and in the back garden of next door is a guy from next door out smoking. A quick conversation with a housemate that lives there later and I'm making my way back round with a few beers.\n\nSit down and quickly realise this is mostly members of said rival universities LGBT society. Fine. A parties a party. Have a laugh, drink a bit. Trawl back home at stupid-o-clock.\n\nI find one of the girls there is the only straight girl there (no bi girls, either). \n\nEveryone is playing drinking games / chatting etc, I get roped in to a twisted version of truth or dare. \n\nI get a dare of kiss the person to my right. Which was said girl. So I do. She gets the \"what is your magic number\" later on. Turns out she \"lost count at about 40\". (magic number = how many people have you slept with).\n\nSkipping on to later on in the eve, I'm dancing the night away with everyone and enjoying myself, she gets back in from the garden and gives me the \"like you've got a chance look\".\n\nEveryone else leaves much later on. I'm the last to leave the party, skulking home again to my bed alone.", "summary": "Went to neighbors party, got off with the only straight, single girl that had shagged 40+ guys. Still got rejected."} {"id": "t3_35likz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my SO [17 F] 18 Months, Girlfriend got an AVO on me, think we can work it out.", "post": "So me and my girlfriend broke up on valentines day because of a really heavy fight, not physical just an emotional one, and things didn't really turn out well and we screamed at each other and tore each other apart verbally and she hit her head on a wall and went to hospital and the police thought it was me who hit her but i didn't.\n\nSo the police filed and AVO on me and i went to court and heaps of hatred came out of that towards her, but now we have been talking a lot lately and tying to make us work because we made each other really happy for the duration of our relationship and I'm not really sure what to do with it, like i love her and want the best for her and but i don't really wanna deal with the shit off my friends and family if i do get back with her because she's made my life hell over the past couple of months.\n\nWe dated for 18 months and she made me heaps happy and made me feel loved for a long time and recently I've been pretty unhappy, so i feel if i get back with her everything will be good and ill be happy again, we've met up and were happy again just sorting everything out, I go to court again this monday to get the avo revoked because she has told the police i didn't do anything, but none of my friends can give me a proper answer on what to do. So Reddit, i ask for your help, what do i do?", "summary": "Girlfriend and i broke up, she got an avo on me and made my life hell, want to get start fresh, need advice."} {"id": "t3_3xwyro", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (23m) girlfriend (18f) of nine months has started talking to me less and talking to other people more.", "post": "Hello everyone.\n\nI am in a spot of trouble. My brilliant ladylove has found a group of friends that she likes a lot. I notice her texting them when I'm around, and I enjoy seeing her make new bonds be they male or female.\n\nHowever, I have also noticed the inverse. She tends to see or talk to them more quickly after work, and talk to me less. \n\nThis is all in context of us having a big argument last week. She ended up self destructing, and a few days ago called me and apologized profusely.\n\nSince then (3 days ago), we've spent two days bonding. Telling each other the deepest of things within ourselves, and really working through emotions.\n\nShe regularly texted them back every hour or so. (I have a mind for patterns, I don't keep track of things like this intentionally). This has started to bother me though, as she doesn't seem to enjoy just texting me as much.\n\nAs another part of us soulbonding, we mutually agreed that I need a larger friendbase. Yesterday she actually told me to spend the day with some other people (in a benign way), then we ultimately spent the night together.\n\nShe loves me, but are there tiny general things I can do to re-pique her interest? Or should I just relax, give her space to just interact with who she decides and let her interest in me ignite on its own?", "summary": "ladylove has new friends. She says I need a larger friendbase. Has begun talking to others more than me but I don't know if it is contextually a bad thing."} {"id": "t3_mdkss", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How can I kick the Reddit habit? And do I have a deeper problem?", "post": "At first it wasn't too bad. I got on a few times a day for a good chuckle or to see what was going on in the world. But recently it has COMPLETELY stopped me from getting schoolwork done. I literally have not turned anything in for a good 2 weeks now, and it's hurting me. Luckily I still manage to pull myself away from it for work, which I enjoy, but when it comes to schoolwork, reddit always takes priority. I've tried the Google Chrome extension that blocks certain websites after a given amount of time, but I always just disable it after the time is up. I used to consider myself to have a pretty strong willpower. I still work out an hour a day everyday. But reddit is something I just can't will myself to avoid. It has literally become an addiction.", "summary": "I'm a strong willed person that still can't pull himself away from reddit, and it's hurting my grades. Can anyone provide some help?"} {"id": "t3_r8iwu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, should I change my Wi-Fi password and cut my freeloading, friendly neighbors off?", "post": "Three college chicks moved in next door to me and my roommate. They're all really laid back and have been good neighbors. However, we entered into an arrangement that allowed them access to our Wi-Fi, as long as they paid half the bill (half being $30/month). This arrangement began in October. My roommate and I have still not received a dime. I've spoken with them about it multiple times and they always promise to pay soon, but it never happens. I understand, they're broke college kids. I've been there. But they all have OK jobs and well-off parents and should be able to afford $10/month (per person).\n\nSo here's my question: Should I change my Wi-Fi password until they pay? Should I go all Tanya Harding/Stewie Griffin and beat my money out of them? Or should I just let them freeload?", "summary": "Neighbors agreed to split internet with us, but haven't paid us in 6 months. Should I murder them or let it slide?"} {"id": "t3_1fn3el", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ex [18F] and I [19M] broke up due to a lie i made, still in love, were going to get back together, but i fucked up.", "post": "We've been dating for 5-6 years, and she unexpectedly fell pregnant last year.\n\nWe broke up because i lied to her about things and i did a lot of stupid things after she had the baby.\n\nAfter months of feeling like shit, she couldn't take it anymore and ended the relationship. We agreed that even though we were broken up, we're still going to respect each other / not hurt each other. We continued on as though we were still in a relationship.\n\nI started talking to 2 girls on facebook, one i had liked previously before i met my ex for a long time(B) , and one who is a friend(C) (But my ex already had a problem with C When we first started dating, myself and C took photos of ourselves hugging, and then one of her bent over in front of me. Stupid i know, i have no idea why i did it, but they were posted on facebook and my ex saw.) Ex didn't like it at all, but i kept going.\n\nI made plans with C to go out to dinner with her a week later. Came back later that night and told my ex \"Nothing happened, but i wished something did.\" Ex started immediately crying.\n\nI still kept talking to the 2 girls.\n\nI snooped through my exes inbox quite a lot, i showed her mine to prove that i wasn't saying anything and i was indeed \"respecting the relationship.\" Then she came across me telling C how beautiful i think she is, once again ex broke down.\n\nEx was sitting next to me while i was on fb, i didn't think she'd see, but she saw me talking about masturbation with B. She got upset.\n\nI really fucked up a lot of times, and i want nothing more then to get back with her, but now she's told me that she can't because all she'll think about is what i've said and done.\n\nI've stopped talking to the 2 girls, all i want is her.\n\nWhat should i do?", "summary": "Told ex that we'd respect our relationship, i didn't. I fucked up quite a lot, i want to get back together but she doesn't."} {"id": "t3_2s91il", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (F/18) am dating a Trans Man (FtM/23) for about a month. Not exact sure how to label oneself? Also, have questions about dysphoria.", "post": "Hello Reddit! Not sure if this post belongs here or not but I might as well try!\n\nI am an 18 year old girl who finally got into her first relationship with a trans man (ftm). So far we've been together for about a month and everything is going very well. Our communication is pretty much on point and he makes me really happy even though I'm fully aware that he is biologically a female. It doesn't phase me at all really. Coming from years of Catholic School, I'm still trying to understand this whole sexuality and gender thing.\n\nBecause I am dating someone who is transgender, does that mean I'm pansexual? Am I still straight or am I something else? I am still very attracted to males and I know I'm not attracted to females, so what does that make me? I'm really curious and I'm trying to figure out what my identity is.\n\n \nAlso, I'd love to hear from other straight women who have dated a trans man! Any general comments are welcome but I do have specific questions on dealing with dysphoria. How did you handle their dysphoria?Any ideas for helping my guy out when he starts to feel like that?", "summary": "Female dating trans man (ftm). Am I still considered straight? Or am I considered something else? Also, how does one deal with significant other's dysphoria?"} {"id": "t3_1p8xc5", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Not sure if I'm [18/f] being used in my new relationship by my boyfriend [19/m]", "post": "My boyfriend [19] and I [F/18] have been officially dating for almost 2 months now but have been together for almost 3 or 4 months unofficially. We have quite a bit in common including the fact that neither of us are very conservative people and so we are already very sexually active together. This didn't bother me until recently. I mean, I enjoy sex and he does too and I am happy to go out of my way to please him but the amount of sex has escalated significantly recently. He always seems to be aroused and while it tends to be a bit of a joke I've started to get a hunch that he might just be using me for his sexual satisfaction. There is never a time when we are together that we don't have sex.\n\nI'm not sure if I should be concerned about this at all or whether or not I should bring it up with him and if so, how? Do I just put it down to the fact that he's a teenage boy? We've already had to iron out some significant kinks in our relationship to get this far and I *really really* like him. I just don't know what to do. Especially when he's so forthcoming and reassuring in telling me that he likes me.", "summary": "been dating boyfriend for two months, starting to become worried about how much sex we're having and whether or not I should tell him that I'm feeling kind of used."} {"id": "t3_35428a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20 F] best friend [M24] just told me he loves me. He's in the Military and that scares the fuck out of me.", "post": "I met Dalton at school last year and we quickly became best friends. I hang out with him at least once a week, we talk every day and I love him as a person. \n\nWe've each had our own relationships during our friendship but now for the first time ever, we are both single at the same time.\n\nTwo weeks ago, he told me that he loves me, that he's loved me since we met and that he's only been dating other people because I was never available and he wanted to respect that I had a boyfriend.\n\nIf Im being perfectly honest, I have always found myself attracted to him and it made me happy to hear him say that. I absolutely would want to pursue something with him.\n\nThat being said, I just got out of a two year long relationship. Im still mourning the loss of that love and am no where near ready to start something with Dalton. I told him as much and he said he understood and would be there for me when I was ready.\n\nWhen I am ready to start something though, I have a pretty big concern: Dalton is in the Military. He's seen combat. During our friendship he's told me a lot about war, and a lot about the kinds of things that he's done. He's talked about his PTSD and the kinds of things he still does while asleep (for example, he sleep walks and apparently has managed to open his gun safe, get his gun, open his ammunitions safe, and load his weapon, all without waking up). He's also told me that if there is another war, he will absolutely do whatever he can to go back and fight again. \n\nHonestly Im scared shitless about all of this. Its not a deal breaker for me, but I have no idea how to prepare myself for what this kind of relationship might be like.\n\nI dunno. I guess Im hoping for people who have been in this situation before to share their stories... maybe give me advice on how to be supportive and helpful and how to keep myself safe.", "summary": "Id like to start a relationship with someone in the Military. This is uncharted territory for me and Im hoping for advice from those who have been there."} {"id": "t3_1f03yw", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Petty revenge in the food line", "post": "Okay so way back when, about 15 years ago, I was living on the streets, and frequented food banks and the like, having no real source of income.\n\nOne time I was waiting patiently in line at a weekly charity food truck for a meagre bag of groceries and some soup. I had waited about 20 minutes already, when this very large fellow who looked like he was fresh out of jail came from out of nowhere insinuated himself into the lineup, immediately in front of me. So I said to him, \"I don't mean any disrespect,\" (I am Canadian, by the way) \"but do you think you could stand in line like the rest of us here?\"\n\nHe replied, \"Don't mess with me or I will fucking kill you.\" Crazy look in his eye.\n\nI don't know what prompted me, because this dude was like twice my size and clearly the kind of motherfucker who wouldn't hesitate to make good on his offer... maybe it was because I was fed up with my current life situation (broke, homeless, standing in a food line), or what, but I said, \"Fuck, just do it.\"\n\nAlmost instantly I was pulled off my center of gravity, spinning around in a circle, and falling to the ground in slow motion. Suddenly, *bang! bang!* my face explodes in pain as one foot, then a second, smash into my face.\n\nSo where's the revenge, you ask?\n\nWell, as I was clearing my head, I saw that he was storming off. The food truck workers refused him any food and told him not to return, ever. They gave me an extra bag of groceries and an extra bun with my soup.", "summary": "Guy cuts into food line, gets violent with me for asking him to get in his proper place in line, gets turned away, and I get extra food."} {"id": "t3_26nwip", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18/f] with my best friend, [18,f] I'm annoyed by her negative attitude.", "post": "I became close to my best friend early last year. I love her to death, I really do. She's funny, sweet, and a good friend. \n\nShe is just so negative and I hate it. My SO, his family, and our friends see it too. \n\nExample: we're both seniors and while pretty much everybody is excited about graduation, she was complaining about how the rules & celebrations regarding it are dumb. It is dumb, the point is to be silly and not act like you have a stick up your ass. \n\nShe's also really jealous, negative, and unappreciative. I recently started coming out of my shell and generally became more confident and happy. Since then I've made some new friends and we planned on going to see a movie together. Her boyfriend said that they could go too. She was genuinely mad about going the next day. \"Well it looks like a dumb movie and and I don't really know everybody going\" was her excuse. He takes her on dates almost every weekend but you can't go see one movie with him? She complains a shit ton and just acts super apathetic all the time. \n\nThis is what makes me the most mad. Her SO wants to go to disney with her next year and she flat out said she was planning on ignoring him the whole time they were there because she doesn't wanna go. I mean, if my boyfriend said he was gonna take me to Disney next year I'd be SO excited. But she's completely apathetic to everything and can't appreciate it. \n\nShe's just getting worse and worse and I can't stand it. Once you get her by herself she's completely different but otherwise she's just miserable to be around. Is there anything I can do?", "summary": "Best friend is extremely negative, jealous, and unappreciative and it's only getting worse. I can't deal with it anymore. Is there any hope of this getting better, and if not what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1mv42y", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Is this fair for her to demand: It's me or weed, your choice", "post": "To preface my fiance (marrying in 8 months) and I's argument, I have smoked weed 2 times in the last year, had edibles once and I am 23 years old. When we started dating 3 years ago I used to smoke weekly and had my own vape. 99% quit weed when I graduated college 1 year ago.\n\nI smoked weed once last weekend with some friends and my fiance completely exploded on me. She has a big issue with the culture and people surrounding the drug. She had a discussion with me about how \"no successful people smoke weed\", how I am damaging my life with weed, and how any friends I have who smoke weed are losers. So you can see this was a heated discussion..\n\nMy fiance then demanded that I never smoke weed again and I agreed. She also demanded I never have edibles or vape ever again or use marijuana for any reason. We fought for the next 2 hours and she finally busted this one out....\n\"it is me or marijuana\", I told her I can't work with that ultimatum.. her last straw.. now she told me I have 12 hours to move out of our apartment and she tossed the engagement ring at my face.. What do I do..", "summary": "Ultimatum to never use weed in anyway ever again, said no, fiance threw ring in my face and demanded me to move out."} {"id": "t3_3zh6wl", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Not receiving pay promised for 3 months now (US)", "post": "I'm not really sure where to go with this but this seems like a good place to start. In 9/2015 I received an email from my project mgr that I was getting a raise effective 10/1. I am paid bi-monthly and received my first paycheck with the new rate on 10.22. However, the pay rate was listed lower than what I was promised by 4 cents an hour. I work from home and have no in person contact with anyone from the company, so I emailed my direct supervisor who found a contact in HR for me to email.\n\nI sent that person an email on 10/23, and received a reply a day later that the pay rate on my paycheck was a mistake and \"we don't know why some paychecks were off cents on the dollar but it is definitely a mistake and will be fixed retroactive to October 1st.\" I have not heard a single thing from this woman since that time. \n\nI waited a month and emailed her again asking why it was not fixed. I did not receive any response from her so I emailed my boss. She immediately emailed the project manager (who emailed me the raise info to begin with) and was told he would \"run it to the ground\" which she forwarded to me. Still no response directly to me from either of them or anyone else, and no explanation as to why the pay rate was off cents on the dollar.\n\n12/22 I emailed my boss yet AGAIN. I have now received 5 paychecks with the incorrect rate and no one from the company has contacted me in any way to fix the problem or apologize or even make any kind of excuse. There is no reason why it would take this long to fix. \n\nThe minimal amount of the discrepancy is irrelevant to me. I'm just pissed that I'm clearly not valued as an employee. Any amount should be enough to warrant at least a response. Obviously it's not enough money to warrant me consulting a lawyer, but isn't what's happening here fraud? I received a written confirmation of pay rate increase and have not received the pay rate promised.\n\nWhat should my next step be in trying to solve this issue?", "summary": "Was promised a raise, got my paycheck and it's a few cents an hour lower than I was told in writing. Company refuses to even respond to my requests for an explanation or fix."} {"id": "t3_uvmzr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Redditors, have you ever had a temporary open relationship while a SO was far away? How did it work out? Would you recommend it to others?", "post": "My boyfriend (20) and I (F, 19) have been dating for about a year. He is spending the summer months away from home, traveling around Europe and doing some farming. Even though we are far apart we talk a lot and both of us make an effort to stay in touch. \n\nWe have some trust issues. I have confronted him twice over the past 5 months about breeches in trust, and we have worked through them for the most part. The first time he had reactivated an old profile on a dating site, and swears that he was only re-reading our old correspondence. The second time he was looking for \"gal pals\" through online personal ads. Some were tame in nature, but one had a line that made it obvious he could be looking for me. The second time was very hard for me to overlook, and i still think about it. it haunts me. But I love him, and want to work through it. \n\nBut now, I have fucked up. I got really drunk and had a boy sleep over in my bed. we did not sleep together, but there was cuddling and some kissing. I feel horrible! I want to tell him, but at the same time I don't want to hurt him. \n\nI am wondering if an open relationship would be a good idea for us. I wish I could fully trust that he isn't seeing other people, but a part of me still wonders. And I am lonely and bored without him. But I am worried an open relationship will ruin our future relationship, and maybe stir up feelings for other people (for either him or me). Despite our obvious trust issues, I really love this man, and want to be with him.\n\nDo you think our relationship is strong enough to withstand an open relationship while we are apart? Have you ever had a temporary one open relationship? How did it work out? I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you!", "summary": "My boyfriend and I are long distance for the summer, and have trust issues. I am considering suggesting an open relationship for the summer but am not sure our relationship is strong enough."} {"id": "t3_yg450", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "When I was young, I'd spend days or even weeks on something just to break it down. Curious as to whether you guys have any self-development stories?", "post": "When I was really young, like 6 or 7 maybe, I used to spend days on building these huge lego models like those Star Wars ships and such. Then, within the next 5 minutes of completion, would completely destroy it and take it apart. I did this because younger me realized there will be times in life where you will spend so much time into something, put a lot of effort and yourself into it, only to something to happen that would deem all that hard work useless. As the years went on, there'd be a few other times where I would do the same. Another example is when I was in junior high, I played World of Warcraft almost all of the time. I believe I started playing after the first expansion came out so I forgot what the cap level was then. But of course, I'd put in a lot of time into that game, eventually hit the top level, and then proceed to delete my character. But, here's when I realized for the first time that all of this payed off. In my senior year of high school, I was typing a paper for my first semester final. I had spent the last week or so putting together this 13 page paper (brainstorming, writing down notes, organizing ideas, etc.) that was going to count for 25% of my final grade. So then one day I began to finally put it all together in my paper. As I was finishing up the paper, my computer crashed and microsoft word failed to recover my paper. This did not phase me one bit. I simply turned my computer back on and began typing it again from scratch, ended up getting an 80% on it.", "summary": "Broke/took apart everything I ever worked on growing up. Paid off in the end when my final paper was deleted when my computer crashed, didn't phase me, started paper over from scratch."} {"id": "t3_1uo16d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 6 months, doesn't really care about his appearance and it bothers me.", "post": "So, long story short, I ended a long term (5 year) relationship with my ex boyfriend this past summer. He was a really attractive guy who definitely always kept his hair neat and styled, his beard groomed, and always made sure to dress nicely. And by nicely I mean depending on the situation. If we were going out, he always had a button down on and a decent pair of boots or shoes, if we went out to dinner, same thing.. always made it a point to be presentable. \n\nFast forward 6 months, and I'm dating a new guy who was my closest friend for about 2 or so years before we started dating. Now, he is a complete 180 from my ex in pretty much every way. Which is totally fine. Our relationship works and I'm happy with just about everything except... the way he presents himself. In a way. He doesn't really keep his beard/mustache groomed, he REFUSES to get a haircut because he \"can do it himself\" but never does, (he means just shaving his head too..) He just got a new job at a corporate office and wears the same sweater over the same 3 button downs (in ridiculous colors btw) every. day. \n\nHe is going to be graduating in May, and I just feel that it's time to grow up. I'm trying to not come off shallow or rude, but I just don't want people to judge him based on his messy appearance. And sometimes I've noticed that it makes me sort of downgrade my own appearance. I don't know if I do this subconsciously, or out of spite somehow.. like \"Fine, you're going to look like a mess, I will too.\" kind of thing. I know others have dealt with this type of situation so I'm just looking for suggestions on how to bring this up or how to handle it. I don't see the relationship ending anytime soon, however this is becoming a bit annoying.. :/", "summary": "My boyfriend of 6 months, about to graduate college, has a messy appearance, sometimes it rubs off on me. How do I handle this?"} {"id": "t3_4py6oh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Update] Me [23 M/F] with my gf [24 M/F] of 8 years. I've been waiting for sex for over 4 years. Still a virgin. I think I'm done.", "post": "Original Post: \n\nThanks for all the comments and thoughts.\n\nI told her on Monday that we needed to break up. She was surprised at first and understandably upset. I told her that we were just becoming two different people and that it would be better to end the relationship on a high note before we start to resent each other. \n\nShe still wants to be friends, which I understand. I don't know if it will work out, but I told her that after a while of no contact we can reach out and see if we're ready to establish some kind of platonic relationship.\n\nSo I'm sad and newly-single. I've been going out drinking with a good buddy from work, and that has made me feel better. \n\nI still can't help thinking about her, but I hope that she'll be happy. I hope we both will be. :)", "summary": "I broke up with her. Feeling sad for losing a long relationship, but also excited about all of the open doors."} {"id": "t3_g8as2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Please help me- Facing a misdemeanor for defending myself. What can I do?", "post": "Hello Reddit, \n\nI am strictly a lurker, but today I need some help and I thought who better to Ask than Reddit. \n\nWhile I was driving to the store near my home a few days ago the car in front of me sprayed water out the back of their car and onto my car's hood. We ended up both pulling into the same grocery store parking lot, so when I got out of my car I made a comment, something like \"Do you think that's funny? Because I don't.\" The driver reached in his car and took out a metal pole, one that was jagged on the ends. He came toward me and lifted the pole above his head, as if he was about to strike. I grabbed the pole before it hit me, and wrestled it out of his hands. In the process of wrestling it out of his hands, the jagged edge of the pole cut up his arm pretty badly. \n\nNext thing I know, I'm surrounded by 4 cop cars, with one cop running towards me with a taser. At this point, I am standing there holding a bloody pole, and one kid's arm is busted open (his friend didn't do anything). \n\nI am handcuffed, get a ticket for \"following to closely\" (there are 4 stop lights and a stop sign to get to the grocery store...you can't help but be following someone closely, you are going slow and stopping a lot). I also face a misdemeanor for being a \"disorderly person\" and my ticket reads, \"starting fight in lot\".\n\nMy lawyer says it doesn't look good, and there is not a good chance I will be cleared of these charges. I will lose my scholarships and loans for college when I am a couple months away from graduation. I have to stop smoking trees for my court date in a couple weeks. I also won't be able to leave the country if I'm on probation, and I have an awesome job opportunity waiting for me overseas once I graduate college. When I say awesome, I mean my dream job, that I have spent years working my ass off for.", "summary": "douchebags attacked me with a pole, I got it away from them, the kid attacking me got cut up by the pole, now I'm being charged with a misdemeanor that could really fuck up everything for me. "} {"id": "t3_3usfqb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [27F] bf [28M] is a 9/11 truther...reason for concern?", "post": "I have been going out with Daniel for about a year now and things have been going great. He is really an amazing guy; brings me flowers every once in a while, helps volunteer at a few local shelters, and understands me like no previous partner has, to name a few things.\n\nThe \"catch\" is that I recently saw him browsing reddit on parts related to 9/11 \"truther\" claims. He wasn't posting but just browsing posts about how it was an inside job, the commission report was a cover-up, etc.\n\nI was pretty shocked and asked him if he believed that stuff. He jokingly said that he didn't wear any tinfoil hats or anything but did examine the evidence and found that the official story was lacking. He said that in light of the gulf of tonkin, etc. the official story should be put to scrutiny. He referred me to \"the evidence that changed his mind\" and it didn't look like Illuminati stuff or other crazies so I was pretty surprised. He said that that stuff shouldn't dictate our relationship but we could talk about it more if I wanted. This seemed pretty reasonable but I was still a little wary of the \"truther\" association.\n\nI told one of my girlfriends about it and she got really concerned like I just told her that Dan strangled a puppy or something. I told her some of the arguments he made but she didn't even address them and said that I was getting deceived. Basically she said that the fact that he believes the conspiracy theories (which I thought was kind of unfair characterization of his position) is proof that he is of unsound mind. At this point I was really confused so I told her I needed some time to think about it.\n\nHow should I proceed? Is my friend right to where this is a big enough issue to end the relationship? Dan doesn't think so and says that he is willing to stay with me even if I don't accept the evidence, although seeing it from him perspective \"would make him so happy.\"", "summary": "Found my bf on 9/11 truther forums. It actually seems legit but one of my friends thinks that it's dangerous. How to proceed?"} {"id": "t3_4l5ot7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Wife [28F] doesn't want me [30M] to play DOOM around our [5M] son", "post": "Hi there,\n\nI have gotten the new DOOM game recently and have been playing through it. I have gamed for most of my adult life and sometimes my wife's son (from a previous relationship, I'll call him Billy) will walk in on me playing. He likes the fast-paced nature of most of the games I play (mostly racing stuff) but he can't work the controllers yet.\n\nAnyways, when I got the new DOOM my wife forbid me from playing it around Billy because it was too violent/scary. Billy doesn't see it as scary though (nor will he grow up to be an axe murderer because of this game) so I resent that I can't spend this time with Billy while we game. Also there's not much time during which I can game without Billy looking over my shoulder due to my weird work schedule. I don't see why I have to cut him out and get up at weird hours of the night to play this thing I spent my personal money on.\n\nAt this point it has become a big point of contention. She says I just need to suck it up and compromise for the sake of compromise but I don't see any point in kowtowing to her since I think she's in the wrong here.\n\nHow can we resolve this?", "summary": "Wife doesn't like me playing DOOM around the son. I don't see much point in compromising but she is insistent. What should we do?"} {"id": "t3_16ip3v", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it normal to have thoughts that your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't good looking enough for you? I'm 25/f, he's 24/m.", "post": "My boyfriend and I (25/f and 24/m) have been together for three months and I'm really falling in love with him. He's perfect for me and I adore everything about him, his flaws included.\n\nHe has the cutest smile and the sex is great... I love the way he touches me. The only thing is that he dresses and carries himself in a very... plain sort of way. \n\nI don't know, I just sort of always pictured myself settling down with a guy that was kind of flashy. Ugh, I know it's shallow and I'm not going to leave him or anything, but I can't help looking at other guys sometimes.\n\nHe won't do anything with his hair or facial hair, he wears plain tshirts, jeans, and ugly sneakers. I've seen pictures of him in suits and he is SO HANDSOME it's ridiculous. He is classically good looking when he cleans himself up, but he rarely ever does that.\n\nIs it normal for attraction to wear off a bit after a while? I'm still wildly attracted to him in general and sexually and I would never leave him for anyone, but I can't help but think about/look at sexy guys sometimes.", "summary": "3 month relationship, I'm 25/f, he's 24/m. I'm in love, but wondering if it's normal that I don't think he's great looking as far as style."} {"id": "t3_1v23lw", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should I become a writer?", "post": "Some info about me before I explain myself: I'm half German, half American. I am 18 years old and I have been living in Germany for about 15 years. I speak both English and German fluently and even though I speak German in 99% of my social life I consider English to be my primary language. Everything I do on the Internet or even on the computer is in English. I think in English. I take English advanced in school. Whenever I take a test/an exam in English I get an A on my writing style but not so much on the content, which has mainly to do with my laziness...\n\nAs I think about my future, my skills and possible career choices the only valuable skill I come across is being pretty decent at writing. The weird thing is: I suck at writing in German, but English... Not so bad if you ask me.\n\nNow my problem is I really don't know if I want to become a writer. I do enjoy writing essays for school but only because I have to. I've never written anything that wasn't for school. I do think I can find enjoyment in writing but I just don't know what I would write about.\n\nI really enjoy sitcoms and it seems like the actors and writers have a ton of fun producing these shows. I would like a taste of that fun. I've thought about becoming an actor but I'm way to shy for that and I think acting just isn't for me. Today I thought to myself: \"I should become a writer for sitcoms!\". Now don't get me wrong, I am well aware that no one starts their career as a writer by directly writing/creating sitcoms. It's a lot of work until you get there, I understand that. I believe I am a fairly funny guy and that I could come up with some pretty funny stuff but I am just blank of ideas and the thought of creating full blown characters just baffles my mind.", "summary": "I think I would enjoy writing and be decent at it but I have absolutely zero ideas of what to write about neither any concepts or outlines of stories."} {"id": "t3_w0buy", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "More of a favor than a question...", "post": "My house was broken into a couple months ago (check my previous posts for proof) and one of the items that was stolen was the portal of power for my sons Skylanders game. We have the game still along with all of the action figures....just no portal. Apparently you cannot purchase the portal by itself anywhere. I have checked at Best Buy, Gamestop, internet, etc. and nobody has one. We don't want to purchase the full set again for stuff that we already have. You can't resell it because then you still have the issue of whoever buys it doesnt have the portal. Everyone keeps saying go to Ebay. Ebay has some but nobody can confirm that they are in working order or want to charge an arm and a leg for one. I don't mind paying for one, but I would like a fair price. I'm just curious if any of you guys might have one laying around that you don't use any more and would sell for a reasonable price? Any takers?", "summary": "Sons portal of power for Skylanders was stolen and I'm trying to see if anyone has one they would like to sell."} {"id": "t3_1l3g4i", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "How can I tell if the Vet is overcharging for my Cat's health?", "post": "Today, I had to bring my 12 year old cat Rocky to an emergency vet clinic. He had been throwing up bile and food/hairballs earlier in the week but today he has been totally lethargic, sways and tumbles when he walks and keeps retching, dry heaving and throwing up white foam. He may have had a seizure as well.\nAfter the $99 veterinary examination and some $500 Xrays, it seems he has kidney stones and a very swollen intestinal tract. My dad (who is paying for the vet bills) wants to take things step by step so we can see where Rocky's at and judge his health so we can make the harder decisions, like whether to give him whatever treatment he needs or to put him down:( \nThis doctor, however, was very speedy in explaining all the details and was quite confusing and difficult to understand. I want my cat to get the necessary treatment he needs but I don't want to be tricked into paying for a ton of unnecessary vet bills!", "summary": "Cat is quite sick but the vet's pricing seems sketchy, how can I deal with giving Rocky the help he needs without being scammed?"} {"id": "t3_2u3h7k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "F/21 - problems with boyfriend M/22 - together for 1.5 years", "post": "I need some advice with an ongoing problem with my boyfriend. When it's good, it's so good. However, when we fight, we could tear the house down. And it's usually over something small. I've been working on my communication with him when we fight, trying not to speak out of anger and whatnot. However, he says things like I hate you, I want to break up, I never loved you. While hurtful, I have trouble believing it, because he recently introduced me to his parents, we go on small trips together, and he's really affectionate. I just find it hard to believe he doesn't love me if he's invested that much. \n\nI don't want to break up with him. I love this boy like crazy and I do see a future with him. But I can't fight like this anymore. I'm aware I need to change too, but I need to find a way to talk to him that doesn't set him off. Also, he's just so stubborn that he refuses to back down, and be blames every single issue on me, and I try to tell him this is a two way relationship and we're both gonna fuck up every now and then.", "summary": "I love my bf but when we fight he says the nastiest things and I need to find a way to communicate with him that we need to find a better way to settle arguments instead of breaking up"} {"id": "t3_54n3v8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[relationship] I [30F] am in a shit marriage and can't seem to leave my [32m] husband", "post": "I can't work it out why im staying with this man. He's an alcoholic who only stopped drinking because he developed a serious illness off the back of it. He didn't stop when I was critically ill in hospital and needed his support or when he prioritised the drink over me miscarrying his child. He stopped because it affected him.\n\nBut I didn't leave. Why didn't I leave when I had the chance? Why do I keep forgiving his lies and bullshit?\n\nFor background:\n\nI live in his house, he refuses to put my name on any bills even though I pay all of them (he's self employed and yet to bring any money in) I ask him to transfer the bills to me or at least let me access them and he refuses instead asking for a set sum each month (2/3rds my salary)\n\nWe never have sex unless it's on his terms - which he sees once a month as more than enough. If I suggest we have sex \"I'm coming down with a cold\" or \"I'm tired\" gets rolled out. I don't even have to overtly suggest it a simple kiss and \"yawn I'm tired tonight\" follows. I feel empty and resentful about this.\n\nI know he's using me. But yet I can't leave. I have serious problems of my own health wise and cannot physically run a house on my own so I guess I'm using him for a place to stay and housework included. It and I feel so empty though. I resent him. I hate everything about him and when he talks about his \"business\" I cringe and get embarrassed. I feel everyone sees me, him and us as a joke.\n\nI'm scared to leave. I have no friends. My family see me as the drop out and loser so rarely have time for me. If I leave I'll have no one. Literally no one other than my child.\n\nWhat the hell do I do?", "summary": "Husband using me for money I'm using him for a place to stay. Relationship is all but dead but I can't seem to leave."} {"id": "t3_lra8s", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Where can I get low-cost, cheap or even a free coat or good sweater for winter in NYC?", "post": "If your in the city today you can kinda feel the cold coming on...I for alot of reasons, don't have a coat or a good sweater, or lots of clothes period. I live by myself, well in my grandma's house but she is out till January, visiting different places, most recently costa rica, with her old lady friends. I have no job, only job I have held was a 5 month internship at a company that gets grants to set up afterschool programs for schools with a high risk drop out rate, like the 11212 zip code, and that looks good in a resume but in this are most jobs don't look at that. But there are none. I have no one to ask because well my mother lives off, $670, and that has to cover rent, phone bill, and a month of food. My dad got deported early this year, for apparently smuggling illegal immigrants, who I found out he's been letting them use my SS. Anyway most of my money these days I save up to pay for college applications because I can't get fee waivers from my school, cause im not enrolled, and it's also my top priority, because of the support I have from my old principals, not to mention my own goals (I graduated late for alot of reasons, by late I mean last August).", "summary": "Life isn't making finding a job in my area easy, no money, it's cold, need a place to find a low-cost, or free coat or sweaters, in NYC."} {"id": "t3_2ujonh", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Help With Reporting a Fraudulent Account (X-Post from /r/Comcast)", "post": "[I originally posted this in /r/Comcast, but a user suggested I should post it here as well.]\n\nHi all, I'm hoping that you can help me in dealing with Comcast. I recently received an alert from Credit Karma that a Comcast account associated with my SSN was in collections. I do not have a Comcast account and have not had one in several years, so this was alarming. I called Comcast to report the issue and the worker asked me for the phone number associated with the account, or the account number, or the address associated with my account. Obviously, I don't have any of this information because I didn't open the account.\n\nI asked him to search using my SSN, but he didn't seem to come up with anything. It is also problematic because the account likely would be under my first name but under a different last name. I had trouble in September where someone got a hold of my SSN and opened various accounts (including a Comcast account) using my first name but a different last name.\n\nI know that more info would be on my credit report, but I already exhausted my free annual reports in September when I was dealing with that problem and I would prefer not to pay for a credit report just to close a fraudulent account. Does anyone have tips on what I can do?\nThank you!\n\n(As a sidenote, this is especially irritating because, as I noted above, I closed a fraudulent Comcast account in September and put a fraud alert on my account. And yet, somehow, Comcast thought it would be just swell to open this account in October without verifying any information. Very irritating.)", "summary": "Trying to take care of a fraudulent Comcast account, don't have any of the info associated with the account (like the address, account number, etc.), Comcast is unhelpful. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_24t3ul", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 F] with my gf [22 F] 6 months, past cheating causing me severe anxiety while my gf is out of town.", "post": "I have a past that included some big time betrayal by women and it has me more messed up than I thought it would. \n\nMy gf is out of town for a summer job. She was never allowed to do this with her ex, so being the supportive person I am, and going into this relationship with 100% trust. I supported her. \n\nI wanted to come with her, but she said she needs this time to do her own thing since she's always been taken care of and wants to become a more independent person and a better person in out relationship. Although it kind of seems like she is 'finding herself'. \n\nAlso, we want to get married. After this summer, she wants to spend the rest of her life with me and I'm going to propose to her. I've never been so sure of something in my life.\n\nThe plan is to go visit her every couple of weeks. \n\nBut now that I'm not there, the anxiety is killing me!!! \n\nBoth my and her past are rearing up in my mind. Mine being cheated on multiple times with the same person and them hiding it for a year. Hers being that she got emotionally involved with someone (and then cheated) on her ex 3 years into their relationship (when she was 19). She was devastated and wanted to try and work it out but he bailed. She said she'd never make that mistake again. \n\nThe job has co-ed housing and there are a lot of disrespectful guys there that think they are players. We sometimes can't talk for 3 - 4 days at a time because of cell reception. \n\nI'm not worried about her so much, as I'm worried about them all getting fucked up together and someone trying to take advantage of her.\n\n I trust her and know that she wouldn't give in. But my anxiety from past relationships has me really freaking out about all the stupid what-ifs running through my head!!", "summary": "Gorgeous outgoing GF is working a summer job with a lot of bros and my past relationship problems are cropping up to cause me more mental anxiety than I bargained for despite trusting her. Trying to find a way to cope."} {"id": "t3_4y92gz", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Has anyone pined for/dated their best friend? How did that turn out?", "post": "Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, I tried to see the rules and couldn't tell what side of the lines I was on. Mods, let me know if I need to move it, I will gladly abide.\n\nAnyway, for some background, I'm M/25, and the advice in question is based on my best friend, F/25. I move from CA to MI last year, and this woman was the sole reason I didn't want to leave that state. She's the definition of a best friend: we're almost always talking/texting, she'll ask me for advice, I'll ask her, etc. We call each other our \"personal venting machines\", if that makes things a little clearer. Well in my situation, I met her through an ex from high school(whom neither of us are in contact with after all these years), so we've known each other for years, and I think the longest we've gone without speaking was a week...well she has a boyfriend, and I'm not planning on breaking them up or doing something stupid that I'll regret...she's my best friend first and love interest second. So basically, I guess what I'm asking is how did this kind of scenario play out for you? Did you say anything to your friend about your feelings? If so, were they reciprocated? It may sound sad, but because of said move and my feelings for said woman, i can't talk to her about it, I have to reach out and hear some stories of other successes/failures. All I really want is to be with my best friend.", "summary": "I have feelings for my best friend, she has a boyfriend, I'm not planning on being stupid or stealing her, but I'm wondering how this scenario played out for you?"} {"id": "t3_1sak5f", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by allowing infants to play with insecticide", "post": "I've been trying to grow an avocado plant out of a seed for a couple of months. After it sprouted I planted it in a proper flowerpot. Some weeks later I started to notice that despite all my care, the poor plant started drying up, and there's when I realized that there were some nasty white bugs leeching all around it. I asked my mother what to do (she's a great gardener) and she told me to go to a plant shop and buy an all purpose insecticide.\n\nAfter reading the insecticide's bottle (with skulls, toxicity warnings and everything) looking for instructions, I start mixing a small quantity of said chemical (transparent) with water, resulting in a milk-like white liquid, and then spraying it on the desired plants. My mother had already warned me about the terrible smell that it had, that I should be careful handling it.\n\nThey also say that the sensory memory is the strongest of them, because as soon as I opened the bottle, the insecticide's awful stench reminded me of an event that had taken place a couple of years earlier, when I had to take care of my little cousins (5 to 9 years old at the time) one hot Sunday:\n\nIt was almost summer and it was warm enough to organize a couple of water games for my cousins in my backyard. I started gathering anything from the house that could hold water: buckets, water guns, balloons... and suddenly I remembered that for some reason there were some empty spray bottles (like [this one] in my house, and decided to look for them. Three were empty, but about three of them already had something inside - an awful smelling white substance on them. I washed them all at once, but the foul odor didn't fade in the least. I said 'fuck it' and decided that was enough and took them with the rest.\n\nAfterwards, I immediately realized that I had allowed little kids to play with bottles that had held liquid that came on a bottle with skulls.\n\nFortunately nothing happened to my cousins so far AFAIK.", "summary": "Bought insecticide, its smell reminded me that I had allowed kids to spray themselves with it a couple of years ago."} {"id": "t3_fh7qd", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A Job/Ethics Dilemma", "post": "So I was recently passed over for a promotion at my company by someone who is extremely under-qualified compared to my work, seniority, and educational background. Upset and feeling like it was time to move on anyway, I wanted to give my notice and quit. My mother suggested though that the best way to \"stick it to them\" is to take a leave of absence then go on disability for a couple months (I have a legitimate disability that is exasperated by my job). This would allow me to be paid for a couple months while not working and look for my next job. I've always felt social benefits are for people who are really in need (my \"disability\" is fairly manageable and more of a nuisance than anything else), and I don't know if it is right to \"milk the system\" in the name of making my employer suffer. I'm in a bit of a moral quandary. Help?", "summary": "Should I just quit my current job and move on or try and take a leave of absence and file for disability while I'm not working?"} {"id": "t3_ezbqr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Having trouble getting over him", "post": "**The backstory:** I am bigender, physically male, and I call myself \"gay\" to make it simple on people who ask me. I am 19 years old. I recently broke up with my boyfriend (age 21), Travis, a little over a week ago online (he was at his home in Kentucky at the time; I'm in Massachusetts). He's an extremely emotional person, so I was quite surprised at his \"Oh. Okay.\"-style reaction. I didn't see him for a week following that, since he was out visiting a friend (one of the reasons I broke up with him: I knew he was going to have sex with this person, I gave permission, but I still wasn't comfortable with it. I had no real way to say \"no\" -- I'd had sex with other people while in the relationship as well [again, with permission]). I talked to him a little online while he was there, and I really got the feeling that he wished I would just stop.\n\nOriginally, he was going to college up here. This is the reason he is in my house right now; he's staying here until the semester starts. *However*, it turns out he's not going to school next semester and is only here because he wants to visit another friend who lives nearby, and to get his car and move everything out of his dorm. Basically, he's living in my house for everything around me but me.\n\nI thought I was over him (since I was the dumper, not the dumpee)... but I can't even stand in the same room as him without tearing up. I know I still love him, I still love all of my exes, but I can't even show the slightest bit of affection without him getting frustrated at me. (Note: I cope with stress with affection. The juxtaposition sucks. I know.)\n\nIt's obvious he needs space. I figured that out. But how can I handle living in the same house as him for the next week, until he moves back (to Kentucky)? While I'm at work all I can think about is going home and seeing him in my living room. It's negatively impacting my work, and my supervisors are noticing.\n\nAny advice for getting through the week?\n\n----", "summary": "I broke up with him and thought I could handle seeing him in person. I can't, and I'm stuck with him until the end of the week."} {"id": "t3_3l9qxz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(30M) am having near daily panic attacks over whether to break up with my gf(30F) or not.", "post": "I am completely torn between breaking up or staying with my serious gf of 3.5 years. We live together and our lives are completely intertwined and she's the best and most amazing person I've ever known, but there's some fundamental issues like sexual attraction and chemistry, and the fact that I am pretty sure I don't want kids, and she does. The problem is I don't know if those issues are because of my uncertainty about my own life or my inherent desires about the type of life I want. I panic about this stuff nearly daily because I feel like I am trapped in prison. If I stay and we break up 5 years from now, I have hurt her by not being able to move on. If I leave, I feel I could be leaving for the wrong reasons(not strong enough to face adulthood and responsibilities) and I could be leaving the best person I've ever known, who loves me more than anyone ever will. I mean the things she does for me and to try to help me is staggering and overwhelming. I've never met anyone who has as good of a heart as her and who is so empathetic and selfless in trying to make me happy. I feel like such an asshole sometimes for even wanting to leave her because of the work she puts into us and how much she cares for me. \n\nHow do I stop panicking and calm myself down? It's been over a year now since I've started to panic about this stuff. We've worked on stuff but these questions and uncertainty are just not going away. I am miserable. I cry nearly every day, and when I am with her and I look at her I just see all of this stress and potential pain I might cause her. We used to be just carefree and happy but I can see the toll this has all taken on her. I just want to get back to a point of enjoying life and having what we used to have. Fun. My guilt is nearly crushing me too, because I know how much she loves me and I don't want to devastate her and ruin her life.", "summary": "I am torn between leaving my wonderful gf or moving forward with our lives together and panic nearly daily because of it. How do I calm down and process what I am going through?"} {"id": "t3_1gim8c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[23 M] am having trouble trusting my gf [21 f]", "post": "We've been dating for 7 months now and gotten to know each other pretty well. I really really like her so I've been completely honest with her and she says she's been completely honest with me but recently I feel like she's always hiding something from me. Whenever I'm on my phone, whether I'm on facebook, playing a game or texting she'll enter detective mode and ask me a bunch of questions. Whenever I'm texting someone she looks over my shoulder and watches me text, which is fine by me because Ive got nothing to hide but whenever she's texting and I get a little curious she pulls away or walks away.\n\nI understand she wants her privacy so I dont pry and let it go. Lately she's been hanging out with a mutual friend and I'm totally okay with her having male friends. She's hung out with him at his place a couple of times with one of her girl friends. A couple of times she told me she was going over and other times I had to find out from her friend. A couple of days ago I found out she went over his place late at night without telling me. I was extremely furious when I found out. After I calmed down I confronted her and asked her what it was all about. She assured me that they were just \"hanging out\" and they're nothing more than friends. For all I know she's been over his place a bunch of other times without telling me. \n\nWe were supposed to hangout last night but she said she was feeling like shit and wanted to reschedule. Seemed kinda suspicious to me since I saw her earlier and she seemed fine to me. Haven't talked to her since. Been avoiding her texts and calls until I have time to think about what my next move should be. She's not the cheating type but you never really know. Sorry for ranting.\n\nI've never been in this situation before. Am I overreacting? She wants to hang out tomorrow but I'm gunna either cancel or just flake on her. Although I will see her at night since we volunteer at the same place. What should I do? Any advice will really help, Thanks!", "summary": "Girlfriend goes over a mutual friends place late at night and hasn't been telling me. Should I be worried or am I overreacting?"} {"id": "t3_3ld4zi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "should I[23/m] ask my ex gf [23/f] now if she still wants to go to her birthday dinner, even though we just broke up.", "post": "She left me on sat after being together for 3 years and it was all my fault. she put up with a lot of my shit for those 3 years.\n\nTold me she cant be with me right now because I hurt her too much.\n\nwe talked things over today and agreed on being friends because she wants to(I told her being friends never works) and that was the plan.\n\nShe always went over the top for my bday and this year I wanted to do the same for her but did not get a chance to because the break up halted that.\n\nI still have the reservations for dinner, and If I couldnt give her everything that I wanted to get her, would it be wrong to at least still take her our for her bday dinner?", "summary": "gf left me. my fault. we talked it over. now friends. couldnt give her best bday ever, but still have reservations. Should I tell her about it still?"} {"id": "t3_r2u7v", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "M[19] Should i make a move soon or should i just keep things as they are?", "post": "Hello! First time posting on reddit ever so pardon me if there are mistakes or what not. Im pretty bad at expressing myself in an organized way so i apologize in advance.\nAnyway here's my situation:\nI met a cute co-worker just 2-3 weeks ago, she works part-time and both in the same grade like me and I found her very attractive. She's new to the job and to the country as well and we both are from the same country. We talked before our shift since we both came early and for the first time I talked with confidence made the girl that I like smile and laugh and share stories with me. The problem is i'm getting overly excited about my progress as a person who used to be shy around a girl that I like. Now I want to see her more often, work with her more and get to know her more. So then I asked my friend if i should take another guy's shift from work just to work with her (because we had zero shifts together for the past two weeks) and I really want to talk to her and get her number. However the guy would not give away his shift, so I am left with another week not seeing her. Then I thought maybe I could go to the place where we work around the time when its not busy and order food from her and have a little chat while she grabs my food for me. My friend then tells me to give her space and give myself some space and not to think about her too much and to just keep things as they are meaning not taking other peoples shifts just to work with her. Now my question for you reddit is, should I make an effort to work with her and talk to her at least once a week on the job or should I just, as my friend adviced me, calm down, keep things as they are and not worry about her too much?", "summary": "I like this girl, we both work together but have at least 1 shift together every 2 weeks. Should i make an effort to try and find shifts so i can work with her more or keep things the same? "} {"id": "t3_2qd8ij", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29F] with my coworker [40+F] since this summer, my coworker has it out for me and I don't know why", "post": "Just started a new career this summer, and immediately landed my dream job! \n\nI work off-site from the main office. We (all off-site workers) have weekly meetings at the office, so we get to move the office people. \n\nWhile I was still in training, I met this office worker when she interrupted my personal meeting with a higher up to accuse me of something. I explained to her that I had no idea what she was talking about and that I was so new that could not have done the thing she was accusing me of.\n\nAfter that, I tried to be extra nice to this lady since we started off in the wrong foot, and I wanted her to know that there were no hard feelings over the misunderstanding.\n\nShe has written several emails to my bosses to accuse me of things. I only find out about these email when my bosses copy me on the reply and tell her that she is incorrect.\n\nApparently they are starting to believe her BS because they gave me a big lecture about some shit that she made up.\n\nI really don't know why this woman hates me. She couldn't have wanted my position, since she doesn't have the licensing required.", "summary": "New coworker apparently hates me, and I have no idea why. How can I get this woman to stop targeting me?"} {"id": "t3_4cf8hj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 F] had my brother [22 M] visit my crush [22 M] and he told my brother that he has a girlfriend. What does this mean?", "post": "I [21 F] had my brother [22 M] visit my crush [22 M] and he told my brother that he has a girlfriend. What does this mean? \n\nBackground: My brother [22 M] and I [21 F] and my crush [22 M] used to all be good childhood friends. My crush used to say that he wanted to marry me someday (besides the point b/c it was an old childhood promise). My \"friends\" told me in high school that my crush had a summer fling with the girl he recently said was his girl friend. I feel like backing off on this one because of what has been said and done. However, his mom once told me that my crush said not to date anyone other than him because he would get super jealous and beat up any guy that might defile me. His mom also said that my crush had insecurity issues and didn't want to see me when I asked to see him. He also asked me to prom but I wasn't home. However, when I finally plucked the courage to send him a card with my brother that had my phone number written in the card, he was casually said to my brother that he had a girlfriend (who turns out to be the girl my \"friends\" said he had a fling with). I'm not sure if he's lying or not or what to even think of this. The reason I had to give him my phone number was because he recently moved and we had no way of contacting each other. I don't have his phone number or email so I have no way of contacting him unless I go to his house which I would not after what he said. Should I do anything about this, redditors? What does this all mean?", "summary": "I [21 F] had my brother [22 M] visit my crush [22 M] and he told my brother that he has a girlfriend. What does this mean?"} {"id": "t3_tsyhb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend doesn't want me smoking weed, I've been smoking recreationally for 6 years.", "post": "Hi reddit, I've been with my girlfriend for about a month now, im 18 and shes 16 and I have a problem.\n\nShe doesn't want me smoking weed. I have never been addicted and have never needed weed, it's always just been a great way to spend a night with friends, since I'm in a relatively new relationship with my girlfriend, she's wanted me to completely go cold turkey and I don't think I can do this anymore.\n\nI love smoking weed with my buddies and some of the best times come from this.\n\nThe reason she doesn't want me smoking weed is because of some family history where weed caused trouble in her family, gona leave it at that.\n\nShe says she hates the idea of me smoking weed even though there is no logical reason, I think that's really dumb, but that's just me. I have always gone along with it saying I will do anything to make her happy, she says she gets really depressed and upset when I do it. I don't know what to do.\n\nI don't want to give this part of my life up, am I in the wrong here, I just need help please.", "summary": "Girlfriend doesn't want me to smoke weed because of issues that it's caused her family in the past, I don't want to quit smoking weed though."} {"id": "t3_4qjgzw", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm [21/M] and I really need an advice with a \"relationship [19/F]", "post": "Well, Hi everyone. \nI never post anything because I never need it, but now I do. I've a friendship with a girl that is so awesome, like 5-6 months to know each other. So I had the guts to say that I liked her and it was something that I couldn't understand because she was perfect for me, my last relationship was about 4-5 years, I'm 21 so that relationship hurt me a lot and it was something that I don't want to remember but it's okay, so back to the topic, she had a relationship too, she didn't want to tell me but I know because she explained some little details, the point is when I told her that I was fall in love with her she told me that I was only a goodfriend (I KNOW, FRIENDZONED) but for like 2 -3 months she always told me that I was all she needed , I was perfect for her. I always tell her \"I hope you have a good day, if you can tell me when you come safe :)\", \"how're you doing sweetie?\", \" Miss you a lot\" and stuff like that even when I was working I left her little messages and she liked it and answered me a lot with some little messages too, she did that too, but not for so long. Like 1-2 weeks ago when I left some messages, she only replies with\" thx\" or \"np :)\", soooo, wtf? What did I do? I harassing her a lot? it was wrong? I don't know, I know I'm in the friendzone but she told me that someday she will accept me but I can't stand it anymore I feel like sh*t. She has a lot of male friendships, so, what can I do? I know I should just ignore her or don't message her but I can't. Would you help me? :(\n\nSorry If my english is too bad, not my mother language.", "summary": "I'm in the friendzone but she told me maybe she will accept me but I feel like I harrasing her a lot with my messages with cute things and stuff like"} {"id": "t3_13utq4", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[25/m] I am currently dating a girl(23) and I don't know if she is cheating on me or not.", "post": "I have only been dating this girl for about a month. She doesn't want to make anything 'official' or have titles because she wants to take things slow. we have already slept together and see each other 2-3 times week. This past week over Thanksgiving break from school we didn't talk much because I went back home. She has told me that she will not be able to see me for a couple days she has made other plans. The part that makes me worry is that there is another guy in our class that openly talks about how he likes her. Tonight she drove him home. I have expressed my insecurities to her about this before but she tells me not to worry. Since I haven't spent time with her since before break I am starting to get worried but I don't know if I'm just creating my own nightmare.", "summary": "unofficial gf doesn't seem to want to spend time with me and is hanging out with semi-mutual guy 'friend', I might be crazy"} {"id": "t3_2jvawi", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Rescue dog has awful separation anxiety...", "post": "I just adopted a 9 month old puppy a couple weeks ago from my local shelter. I live in an apartment and he's basset size. He was so well behaved the first week and now he has AWFUL anxiety. He whines the moment he is left alone, even if I leave him with my neighbor and his dog he whines. It has now escalated to incessant barking. He also started barking at people and other dogs when outside or on a walk. It's to the point where we tried a muzzle, but he found a way to bark through it. I have tried a crate, it didn't work. He seemed to like sleeping in the car, so we did that. It worked for a few nights, but he is now barking and whining in the car. I've tried leaving him for a few minutes and returning to let him know he's okay to no avail. He defiantly poops and pees inside after we come back and spend time with him even though he is definitely house trained. I don't know what to do, I want to find a family for him, but I don't think anyone would want him if they knew how he was. I'm afraid the neighbors will complain to the landlord and they already have complained to me. My roommates hate him. I need a miracle, fast, or I'm afraid I will have to take him back to the shelter which breaks my heart.", "summary": "My dog has the worst separation anxiety that I don't have the time or resources to deal with over a long period of time. Looking for a hopefully quick solution or I will have to give him up. Please help."} {"id": "t3_s1n15", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Stranger returned lost phone and refused reward, asking that I consider donating to charity instead. Anyone have a \"faith restored in humanity\" experience to share?", "post": "Longer version: I lost the phone while biking on a trail yesterday. Trail is pretty wide and I was sure that I'd be able to find it when I backtracked. I didn't. \n\nI rushed home and changed every password I had. Tried using the \"find my iphone\" app, but had no luck since there is no signal avail on the trail after the first mile or so. \n\nCalled Verizon, explained the situation, but had no luck there either. They could suspend the phone's service temporarily but said my only option for getting another phone was to pay full price for one at the Apple store. That's roughly $600. They said I should've had insurance on the phone but wouldn't retro the insurance to help me out in this case. \n\nI woke up this morning planning to cancel my Verizon account ($175 termination fee) and just go to Sprint where I'd get a similar plan and a new phone for only $199. That would put me ahead of the $600 bill for a new phone and Verizon would have one less angry customer, I thought. Then I saw an email in my inbox. \n\nSubject read \"LOST IPHONE.\" \n\nA college student found the phone while running the trail and wanted to get it back to me. \"I hope this email gets to you and you start having a better day,\" he wrote.\n\nWe emailed a bit more and I offered to send him an iTunes gift certificates as a thank you (he found my email address bc it was associated with the iTunes account on the phone, so I assumed he'd be into iTunes bucks). He declined, stating that if I really wanted to thank him, I could consider a donation to the Boy Scouts. \n\nI live in a big city and run into a lot of rotten people on a daily basis. When I lost the phone I assumed that if someone found it, they'd take whatever info they could and just sell the phone.\n\nI was happy to be proven wrong and it made my day. Anyone else have a moment like that to share?", "summary": "version: Guy that assumes everyone is rotten is proven wrong and has faith restored in humanity by a good samaritan."} {"id": "t3_1jrx42", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25/f] am seriously attracted to one of my husband's [26/m] coworkers/friends", "post": "My husband and I are recently married but have been together for the better part of 6 years now. The title explains most of it, but I have a very strong attraction to one of my husband's coworkers, who we often hang out with and spend time with. It goes beyond whether or not he his just \"handsome\", and what I mean is that after spending time with him and knowing him better, I am drawn to him physically and catch myself fantasizing about him. \n\nI would not act on those feelings, and they (as far as I can tell) are one-sided, but my concern is how normal these feelings are for others in long term relationships.", "summary": "Been in long term relationship, have strong physical attraction to husband's coworker who we hang out with frequently, wondering how \"normal\" this is"} {"id": "t3_4s3fsq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (20) was kissed when drunk at party by another boy (17) and I saw and the image is stuck in my head! :'(", "post": "Hi, so me and my boyfriend have been strong since the ft we met 30.10.15 and have got stronger over the months. It's been hard as I live 1h 20min away so we've had our moments together to realise the pain and stress of not living close. I now work in his town and stay at his quite often so it's getting better :)\n\nLast night it was our friends bday party and we went to her house for drinks. I had a drink and tried this milkshake alcohol and something didn't go down right which meant I was sick and throwing up endlessly for a long time, I decided to take a break and go to my BFs house for some quite and then go back later to catch the taxi to the club. My bf stayed there as didn't want him missing out because of me, I felt better so headed back to our friends house..\n\nWhen I got there everyone was outta it.. I found my boyfriend half asleep and pretty drunk on a sun lounge bed and this boy sitting on top of him kissing him. This boy was our friends new BFF which last night was the first time meeting him and I had joked about him wanting to touch my bf but didn't think it would actually happen. I walked away and the boy realised and walked away to, everyone reassured me than my bf didn't want it but he was to outta it to try push him off him for it to stop. My bf can't stop saying sorry and can't stop punching and throwing things and crying in anger about what happened. \n\nNow this image is stuck in my head, I can't sleep, I can't stop crying and I don't know what to say. Every time my bf or I wanna sit on top (just in general chilling ect.) I'm gonna remember that moment, I haven't even kissed him since because I just wanna cry! I love him and literally can't live without him!! :'(", "summary": "Exactly what title says, bf is angry and upset about what happened and keeps sayin sorry and I can't get what I saw outta my head"} {"id": "t3_z6gbg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(m, 14) Need advice for girl i like D:", "post": "Okay so well, this all started about...4 months ago in May. I met a girl at school, who well...completes me? I know this kinda sounds stupid since im 14 and its stupid to think like this at a young age, but i honestly feel so lost without her. Shes on my mind every waking second and i feel so confused as to what to do.\n\nI've asked her out to a movie like 3 times, the first time it was a bit awkward-ish but it was still fun. Second time, was probably the best time, we went to watch the movie and by the end we were all cuddling (kinda like a couple ><) and finally, 3rd time could've been the worst? Like, i tried getting close to her and stuff similar to the 2nd time, but when i did she like pushed me away from her, so my hopes of her liking me suddenly dropped.\n\nI did ask her out once like after 3 weeks and she said no. My friend asked her a few days later (i didn't ask him to) and he said she didn't know me well enough, so i got to know her better, and shes like my bestfriend around me and i can say anything without feeling awkward or anything like that.\n\nLately i've been trying to get over her, but like i said it seems so impossible at the moment. I've also been trying to like distance myself a bit, and also kinda see if she would chase me back, in which she kinda has and she invited me to go watch a movie with her in like 2 weeks time. Also i've also been a bit depressed lately, and i kinda vented out to her the other night, and she was acting really caring and like there for me, and i felt alot better the next day. \n\nOkay i guess thats it, in a summarized version? ><, i'm wondering if you guys can give me advice on how i can get her to think about me like that, and if not then idk o-o. (btw there is alot more to this but i'm lazy to type ._.)", "summary": "I've like this girl for 4/5months now and i really need help on how i can get her to feel the same way back for me."} {"id": "t3_2d5cwb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [17m] girlfriend [18f] of six months cheated on me in June. A few days ago I found out that she lied.", "post": "Back in June I had been seeing my girlfriend seriously for about six months. She was a senior and I was a junior so she graduated a week earlier than I did. During that week I stayed in school taking my final exams while she and the rest of the seniors went to a rented house and spent the week partying. I'll admit that I was nervous at first because I knew people would be hooking up and I knew that there would be alcohol involved. When she came back home, she told me that she had gotten drunk and kissed her ex boyfriend and that she felt very guilty about it to the point where she thought she could no longer Be a \"good girlfriend.\" I explained that I no longer wanted to see her. The reason I mention this is because she wanted to meet in person so that she could get closer. I accepted it and started to try and move on. A few days ago, I found out that she did not only cheat on me with her ex-boyfriend but she cheated on me with anywhere between 2-4 guys on a regular basis on multiple nights. I then found out that she has been hooking up with a lot of my friends and going to a lot of parties. I understand that we are broken up and that she can do whatever she likes but it still stings and has caused me a good deal of pain. So, what do I do about her lying? How do I move on? Any advice?", "summary": "girlfriend of six months cheated on me. She told me it was with one guy. I found out it was with anywhere between 2-4. She has also been hooking up with some of my friends over the summer."} {"id": "t3_159b3h", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How much attention is too much attention?", "post": "Ok, here's the deal... I (37F) was in a long term relationship (5 yrs) and we broke up about 3 years ago. I wanted to give myself time to get over the person before dating someone new and pretty much threw myself into work and anything else non-dating related.\nFast forward to the present -I met a guy last week (46M) at a party and we totally hit it off. We've been talking and texting everyday since then. The problem is that it's been so long since I've dated someone I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it up. I really like this guy and don't want to scare him off with too much attention.", "summary": "getting back into the dating scene after a few years, met a guy and I'm worried that I'm going to scare him off with too much attention."} {"id": "t3_27r732", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [f19] being overly attached/ bitchy about his behavior [M19]?", "post": "We, due to school, have a long distance relationship going on.\nfew days ago we set a date - last night - to webcam. I got so excited and rearranged my time/ cancelled my plans for this. 5 hours before the time we set he tells me out of blue that he wants to go to his friends house and get drunk because he was having a bad day. I didn't argue with him but I let him know I was disappointed at this. \nThis is not the first time he does that sort of thing, he never sticks to his word and it makes me mad because to me he is a priority while he doesn't respect my feelings and ditch as if it was okay. We got into fights where he promised to change. It makes me sad, frustrated and hate him for it. Maybe I'm just making a deal out of nothing??", "summary": "My boyfriend never respects his word or commit. It's getting in my nerves and I don't know how to deal with it especially since we already talked about. Should I break up with him over it?"} {"id": "t3_296ain", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [18 F], has a new good friend and they met under rare circumstances.", "post": "My girlfriend went to buy a new phone 4 days ago and she was meant to go to the store again because of the SIM plans, according to her.\n\nSo later in the day the guy from the store texts her: \"Hey, don't forget to stop by for the plans we talked to and bring all your paperwork\". She said \"Ok, thanks\" to what he replied \"Your welcome\", with lots of complementary smiley faces. She replied once again saying \"Have a nice day\", then according to my girlfriend they started chatting and now they are friends.\n\nShe told me all this and the way I see it this is not natural, she tells me not to make a big deal out of it but the dude clearly has second intentions, he asked her out twice and she keeps chatting with him. Am I being reasonable for being upset for the way they met?\n\nThus said I'm not usually jealous nor anything, in fact, most of her friends are guys and I have no problems with them, except her latest friendship of course.\n\nShe naturally told me this after 4 days went by, and we talk a lot with each other.", "summary": "I wonder If I'm being reasonable for my girlfriend having a new guy friend she met 4 days ago, and not telling me about him.. Oh and he was the guy responsible for the sale."} {"id": "t3_2yacxe", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[18/m] Asked longtime crush [16/f] to prom.", "post": "So I like this girl for a long time. About three fourths of a year now. We almost dated a year ago but she had some of her own issues that prevented it, and I decided to try again. Things may or may not have been going well. Sometimes it feels like they do, other times I have my doubts. It feels like she likes me too at times. I never actually told her I like her because I realized yesterday all I have with her right now is hope. If I tell her, and I'm turned down, what do I have left? I decided to suck it up, and ask her to prom. So I did, and she told me she has a date set up already. I'm truly lost, almost in a panic. I don't know if I should just give it up now, or relax and see what happens. I don't even know who the prom date is, it might just be someone of little importance, right? I just need to know where to go from here. Is it wise to maybe waste My time?", "summary": "Turned down by girl who sometimes acts like she likes me when asking her to prom. How should I hold her in my life now?"} {"id": "t3_uy1lr", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Tips or stories for emotional eating?", "post": "I've lost a pretty substantial amount of weight and really feel like I've made a ton of progress on my journey. I'm pretty darn close to my \"goal\" weight, have size 30 pants and wear small shirts, consider myself an athlete (running sub 7s pretty regularly), etc.\n\nStill - when times of stress (or even celebration) come on - I find myself reverting back to my bad emotional eating habits pretty consistently. I won't necessarily eat a large pizza - but I'll chow down on a small one. Maybe grab a pint of FroYo or indulge in a slice or two of cake. Sometimes I'll just chow down on healthy stuff - but way too much of it.\n\nThese \"trip ups\" definitely stick out in my mind as \"bad.\" I don't feel great (physically) when I wake up after 'em. I know they're setting me back to my ultimate, toned-body goals. Exercise is something that's a part of my life from here on out - so this is mainly focused on the eating part. I certainly ENJOY the food while I'm eating it - but I don't enjoy the feeling after.\n\nSo - any thoughts/tips to try to combat this?", "summary": "All around healthy guy now still has the remnants of emotional eating, even after I've got everything else under control. Any thoughts/help?"} {"id": "t3_3v9gd3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it wrong to ask someone out over text?", "post": "There was a girl [19F] at work that I [19M] wanted to ask out tonight after our shift had ended (the only one we share together). We have not been able to have had any long talks but we work very well together. But I think she may have quit this job or at least won't work there for some time and now I can't ask her face to face. \n\nI have her number and had planned to text her if I couldn't ask her tonight but since I haven't met her in a week, would it be weird to ask her out over a text message now?", "summary": "I want to ask out a girl I haven't met in a week over a text message, would it be weird?"} {"id": "t3_xgu99", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Does anyone have experience with diabetic cats? Mine's currently in emergency care and I'm freaking out. [x-posted to r/cats]", "post": "Background:\n\nMy cat's been losing weight and drinking too much water. I made an appointment to bring him to my vet this evening, but this morning he was lethargic and stumbling so I took him to emergency as this was before my vet opened.\n\nThe emergency room vet called me today and said he's possibly diabetic, though it may be a pancreatic flare up. They're doing another test to figure out which it is. He's being kept overnight for treatment, and will spend at least 24 hours in there.\n\nThe complication: he has ketoacidosis, which after some googling, is scaring the shit out of me. The vet recommended a course of treatment that runs close to $2000/day, and I just don't have ten grand lying around to spend. So we're going with the less ideal but more \"affordable\" (it'll only cost me about $2k total) route of longer acting insulin and hope he comes back to normal quickly so I can take him home tomorrow.\n\nEither way, he'll be on insulin injections until the ketoacidosis and blood sugar levels are under control. It looks like I'll be investing in a blood glucose monitor, keto sticks, and a few other necessities to keep him healthy. A lot of research online seems to indicate that a wet food diet that's high in protein will help as well.\n\nHas anyone been through this? Any advice or rays of hope to keep me from completely losing it while I wait to hear from my vet?", "summary": "cat may be diabetic, currently has ketoacidosis, and I'm losing my mind with worry. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_2tn5l7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] with my Friend/Coworker [34F], she has been part of an abusive relationship for 13 years, I need advice how to help her.", "post": "Hey all, first of, I have no romantic interest in my friend, she is pretty and has a bubbly interesting personality, but I just don't have that sort of attraction towards her.\n\nOn the downlow, what happened was this Friday when we went out for work drinks with the rest of our company, she has confided in me and our other female friend about her current relationship. She has revealed that over the last 13 years she has been abused both mentally and physically to the point where she believes it is entirely her fault and the treatment she gets is what she deserved.\n\nThe abuse included receiving beatings and such whenever she was late from work, her SO absolutely loathes the fact that she is currently working at all and would prefer her to sit at home and be the \"obedient\" wife.\n\nIt is at the point where he stalked her to work on his day off and witnessed us two having a cigarette outside, she was told off as a result of her interaction with me and has received physical abuse and further belittement.\n\nDuring our drinks when she was telling us about her relationship, he has called her and she didn't mention my name when he asked her who was with her (Which I did not mind at all, taking what I heard into account), but she just kept repeatedly apologizing to me about omitting my name throughout the night, which I found really unnecessary.\n\nI have tried to tell her repeatedly that it is not how a relationship is supposed to be, and if whenever she needed any help whatsoever, whether it is to pack her stuff up or emotionally me and our mutual friend will be there to help her out.\n\nAlso, she has mentioned why she wears scarves all the time: Because he constantly burns his cigarettes out on her chest when he believes she \"misbehaves\".", "summary": "How can you convince someone to abandon a relationship that is toxic, belittling, physically and mentally abusive? If you can't, what more can I do to help her?"} {"id": "t3_du6cc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "TV show argument. Was I really in the wrong?", "post": "So my housemate was watching the Philly's game and it was the bottom of the 6th inning and I wanted to watch the new South Park. So I changed the channel and he got pissed that he was missing the 7th inning. Well, by the time South Park was over it became the bottom of the 7th inning. In the end, we ended up watching a good portion of the end of the 6th inning because of commercial break and I missed about 5 minutes of South Park because he wanted to finish the bottom of the 6th inning. And then while South Park was on he ended up missing the top of the 7th.\n\nMy argument was that he's got three whole innings to watch and South Park is a measly half hour of the 1.5 hours he has left of the game. Not to mention during every commercial break I switched to the game for him so he could stay updated on what happened. Also, baseball is a slow as fuck game. Like half the time nothing is actually happening, the cameras just zoom in the crowd and players that are preparing to go next.\n\nAnyways, now he's pissed at me because I watched South Park and he missed a little over half an inning where nothing actually happened. He also thinks that because he rarely makes requests that he deserved for this one to be granted. Guy, it's fucking South Park, one of the best shows to ever grace the tube.\n\nSo what I want to know is: Am I douchebag for taking over the TV to watch my half hour of South Park? And is there anything I can say/do to smooth the situation over? He's still a little upset about it, I think to him it's now the principle of the situation, but I feel totally differently about it and I just want him to understand that sports are really not that big a deal not to mention he only cared about this team now that it's the playoffs.", "summary": "I wanted to watch South Park; housemate wanted to watch Philly's game. I forced South Park and he's pissed because he missed 30 minutes of at least 1.5 hours remaining in a baseball game."} {"id": "t3_33dgwt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29M] with my GF[30F] 1 1/2 years. I think we should break up.", "post": "My girlfriend and I live together in my home along with her child who is 7 (not mine). We have been dating for over 1.5 years now but lately I've just want to break up. We fight more often, and the feelings aren't really there on my side. I've approached it in the past and she says that I'm just tired or not thinking correctly as I usually mention it late at night. But even when I mention it during the day, it's kinda brought up as me just having a bad day.\n\nI've been working since we dated and she typically does work that isn't as stable. So many for many months she wouldn't really work, so this led me to paying all the bills and for food. She would make up for this by cleaning the house and things but would still ask for help. She just recently starting working a more stable job, and she pays for food now but not any of the other bills.\n\nThe kid I got along with at first and was mostly tolerable, but now I'm just not sure. I don't think I want to raise another persons kid, and the kid seems to do nothing but talk back most of the time and so it feels weird for me to try and punish them in anyway.", "summary": "I want to break up with my girlfriend and her kid, but feel bad because they won't have anywhere to go."} {"id": "t3_1rkxy9", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Just visiting home back from college... feels kind of strange seeing her car parked in front of his house.", "post": "So went through bad breakup over summer. Left for college. Best friend calls from back home crying, saying \"I don't know what happened... I fell for your ex and we are going to start dating.\" \n\nWas hurt for a bit, but feeling much better . Came home last night and went on my neighborhood walk. \n\nSees her car in front of his house. I braced for that \"heart break\" feeling (anxiety chest tightening) that I was by now so accustomed to feeling every time I hear about her,especially in front of another guy's house at 2 AM..... Never came. My chest didn't tighten up. \n\n**I felt like there was a physical barrier on my chest where the feeling tried to enter, but was shut down by something I have never felt there before....Kind of a hardening... a scar. It's weird... sounds over dramatic, but that was the literal physical feeling I felt. A feeling driving towards my chest, and bouncing off, leaving on a feeling of discomfort, but never actually initiating that dreaded feeling**\n\nStill feel oddly strange seeing her car there instead of 10 yards up at my house.", "summary": "Back from college, and sees ex girlfriend's car in front of the guy who she dating's house (my best friend). Braced for feels empact. Didn't happen. Still feel weird though."} {"id": "t3_gzcyf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, are any of you unapologetic optimists?", "post": "I've noticed quite a bit of misplaced cynicism (read: laziness, they say it's just being realistic though), strong pessimistic sentiments and \"the sky is falling\" attitudes on Reddit. \n\nAre any of you insanely optimistic about pretty much everything? \n\nWhere are all my fellow Redditors who think everything is going to turn out better than okay, that things are in fact getting better in the world when viewed in a historical context, and that the future is yours for the taking?\n\nDunno about anyone else, but despite my obstacles, I think I have it pretty great when compared to all the generations that came before. \n\nTo add to the question, if you are, do you find that many of your friends are, or do you find it difficult explaining your optimism to others who might not agree?", "summary": "are any of you optimists and if so, do you find it hard explaining that to others who might not see the world as positively as you do?"} {"id": "t3_2bz3d8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23F] think I am beginning to fall for my ex boyfriend's best friend [24M]. Not sure how to tell if he feels the same or if I should pursue it.", "post": "I dated his bestfriend for about a month. Some time has passed since then (but not too much), and my ex now lives thousands of miles away. His bestfriend sent me a text a week and a half ago asking how I am doing and that he's been trying to figure out how to get a hold of me because he misses hanging out. \n\nSo, we caught up via text and we have been texting everyday since then. I even invited him to hang out with my friends and me and he said he had a lot of fun and thanked me. He and I have both been depressed lately and in bad places, but talking to one another has helped us both out so much. He calls it a symbiotic relationship, which seems true. We both play music and are starting to create a music project together. Last night, while I was at work, he made a dinner he \"invented\" and wanted me to have some. My work is fairly far from where he lives but he insisted on bringing it to me. We hung out when I got off my shift and talked for hours about nothing and everything until the sunrise. It seemed like minutes. \n\n I know it's too soon to tell if he has any feelings for me, but even though it's only been a little over a week, I am starting to really like him. I don't know if he feels the same because he always goes for super model looking girls, and I dated his bestfriend which is a huge no-no for some guys. \n\nSo basically, I just want to know if you think I should wait and maybe give it a shot or shoukd I let it go? Do you think he is starting to like me? \n\nNote: He is moving at the end of the year, very far away.", "summary": "I think I am falling for my ex's bestfriend and I'm not sure if he feels the same or if I should do anything about it."} {"id": "t3_2cyjmu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30/F] with my ___ [38 M] 2 weeks, he was a good friend of my deceased rapist.", "post": "Hi Reddit. When I was a senior in high school I was raped by an older man that worked at a cell phone provider near by. I was 18 years old. He was from a rather small town originally, & my town was a more large college town. I was gutted, spent a few years in a destructive cycle. Eventually surpressed much of the event, probably not in a healthy way. But regardless I survived. I mostly surpressed the memory & with a lot of issues \"moved on\"\n\nI looked up the rapist about 6 months ago. The first time I acknowledged him to myself in some years. I found out via news articles he passed away. He died of a heroin overdose in his grandmas basement. Hate to say, I was happy. I felt at peace & glad for this aside from the confidicted feelings of being happy for someones death. I often felt guilt for not going to the police & this news helped a lot.\n\nSo, what brings me to today. I've met & started dating a man from the same small town. Went to high school with the rapist. Him, his family & friends bring him up often. Talk about what an \"amazing\" person he was, change facebook avitars to his picture, talk about his baseball game, etc. I don't mean around the anniversary, nearly daily. Very close with his whole family, talk often about what a saint this dick was. I've never spoke about what happened to me, & I'd honestly rather not. This guy is my ideal, but I'm on pins & needles to when the next time what a wonderful man my rapist is is brought up to me. Should I tell him? Will I be \"accusing some who can't defend themself?\" I'm not sure however I care about him I can forget he was a good friend to my rapist despite not knowing.. Not sure what to do here. Whatever hurts.", "summary": "My new boyfriend was a good friend of my rapist (didn't know he was a rapist overwise good friend) Rapist died 2009 not sure how to get this."} {"id": "t3_3qbs63", "subreddit": "books", "title": "Help me /rbooks-ken-obi you're my only hope!", "post": "Hello everyone!\n\nMy[26M] wife[28F] has been studying writing (mainly) creative non-fiction at university for six years now. She can get a master's if she sticks with school for two more years. Problem is she's quite fatigued with full time schooling and 3 days a week at work. \n\nI'm looking to give her a big boost, here's my plan...\n\nI've found 1st edition copies of her 3 all time favorite books, and contacted their agents/publishers asking if I could send them the book and get them to personalize it for her.\n\nI'm also going to contact as many author for the books she does own, (there's a lot and I have until the end of this school year) if they can send a letter of encouragement or some wise words!\n\nUpon Finnish this year I want to give her the books, and one box (hopefully a big one!) full of letters of encouragement/wise advice to write/keep on going for her masters!\n\nOr if your willing, can you send your favorite book with written words of advice from you!\n\nI'm also hoping to get a 2nd job so she can work less.", "summary": "I'm hoping to get some hand written letters from anonymous book lovers and the authors she loves who can help revitalize her gusto for writing!"} {"id": "t3_gobew", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm a recently minted lawyer thinking of taking two years off from the legal profession and worried it will kill any chance of becoming a lawyer in the future. Advice from experienced lawyers appreciated.", "post": "Here is my situation. I'm a recent grad (2010) who was no-offered from my summer associate position with a large NY firm. Since then I've been bumming around doing a few temp jobs and looking for a permanent position. At the urging of a buddy of mine and on a whim I applied to the Teach for America program. The T for A program takes non-teachers, puts them in under-served education markets for two years with the goal of closing the achievement gap in those areas. Think inner city schools, Indian reservations, etc. \n\nHere's my problem (or opportunity in disguise.) I've been accepted to the program and need to make a decision by this Friday on whether I'm going to spend the next two years teaching high school chemistry. I was excited for this opportunity until I checked in with my counselor at my old law school who told me that taking two years off from the legal profession, especially as a new attorney, could very seriously hamper any chance I would have of returning to the legal profession. To further complicate matters my legal education was far from cheap (200K in debt) so there is the practical matter of how I would pay that off if I couldn't return to the legal profession (the loans are in paid deferment while I'm in the T for A program.) \n\nAfter that wall of text now comes the question. As an experienced attorney what would you say about this situation? If I came to you two years from now looking for a legal job what would be your feelings? \n\nAny advice would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "I'm a new lawyer who is worried that taking two years off from the legal profession would preclude me from every returning to it. Advice appreciated."} {"id": "t3_4zjxd8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Working on my [22M] keeping relationship and girlfriend [28F] Strong.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years officially. We met in school. We both got our bachelors degrees. She went back (to the same school) to get her masters. She struggles with depression and occasionally a lack of motivation due to the depression. We decided to move to NYC from Florida, but we weren't going to move until she got her degree. She changed her mind when she found out that my sister had an internship in NYC, so she selflessly decided to stay in Florida while we housed my sister for her internship. It has been ~3 months since we moved and she is still in Florida. Our relationship is struggling because of the distance. She is having trouble with her research. For people that have done biological research, shit just doesn't go right all the time and the school where she is getting her degree is slightly disorganized, so that doesn't help. She is starting to lose hope in herself and in us. She wants to drop out and come back so that we can be together. She is, at the most, 1 month away from finishing her research and being essentially done with her degree. How can I keep her encouraged and happy, but help her finish her degree?", "summary": "Girlfriend is worried about our distance and her degree, wants to drop out a few weeks from completion because she cannot handle the issues with her research and our distance."} {"id": "t3_3s6z1l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I 24[M] really hope everyone that reads this cares enough to give me some advice on my personal issues. Its eating me up and I don't feel the same.", "post": "Throwaway account.\n\nTo start off I was raised in a very good family and was loved and treated wonderfully from all my family which led me to be a strong person all my life. I have always been content and happy and confident in myself. \n\nIn the last year I have changed to a completely different person and I'm starting to think I may never be the same ever again.\n\nI used to be a romantic and believed in love. I was with my ex for 5 years and she honestly never did anything to me that made me not trust her and we are still friends right now. Thing is she's the only girl I think I could ever trust. \n\nRecently I have seen so many of my male friends being cheated on and also read this which if you can read this it Would help in explaining my position.\n\nI just can't get over all these horror stories of all this infidelity. Most of the time the guy or girl never even knows. I used to feel confident though knowing that lots of guys cheat but I know I'm not one of them and that women are the better sex therefore I didn't have anything to worry about. I really do not like this sexual society and I'm not religious one bit I just personally feel sex should be special but I'm starting to lose all hope for love or relationships and feel like I may be single forever because I can't trust anyone.\n\nHow do I find hope reddit after reading about so much infidelity? I want to eventually find someone I love but I'm scared of any relationship nowadays.", "summary": "used to be confident in myself and love but after reading awful things have little to no Faith in love or the opposite sex."} {"id": "t3_39k1g7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[22 M] with my two friends[22 F], one interfered in my friendship with the other", "post": "So I am friends with Betsy and Robin. Betsy and Robin have been friends for longer than I have been with them and they always hang out. Robin and my friendship is slowly winding down.\n\nAnyways, whenever I've asked Robin to hang out, it usually hasn't worked out. She says yes, then something comes up and then it's cancelled. I asked her to hang out on my birthday, she said yes then something came up. I was sad, definitely, but it wasn't unexpected.\n\nHowever, Betsy was annoyed on my behalf. When Robin asked her to go to a party, Betsy asked her why she didn't invite me. I don't know what they said exactly, but Robin then invited me. \n\nNow I feel extremely embarrassed for Betsy's involvement. I feel that *Robin knows I exist* and whatever reasons she has for not inviting me or whatever flaky reasons she has for not coming to my invites is valid to her and it's way too confrontational to ask her why she doesn't really want to hang out with me. Also, I've hung out with Robin before a couple times.\n\nI feel that it reflects badly on me that Betsy had to ask Robin to ask me to hang out. Like I asked or manipulated Betsy into getting Robin to ask me to come out. Also, Betsy doesn't know that what she's done has made it awkward for me. \n\nI just wonder, what should I do about this situation? Should I apologize to Robin about Betsy making it an issue? Should I just do nothing cause Robin and I don't really vibe anymore and it's just the end anyway?", "summary": "A friend got another friend to invite me to an event, but I feel it was forcing an invite from someone who has their own reasons for not inviting me. I feel awkward and don't know what to do about the situation."} {"id": "t3_3fz7rg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17 M] am uncomfortable with my girlfriend [17 F] spending time alone with other guys, am I unreasonable?", "post": "You know when you have a problem and you get tunnel vision, and you can no longer tell whether you're being logical or not. Is it unreasonable for me to ask my girlfriend to spend more time (outside of school) with me than other guys (outside of school)?\n\nShe has started spending time with another guy outside of school on a fairly regular basis (they usually just go out to lunch, or so I'm told). I have told her it makes me uncomfortable but that hasn't had much of an impact. \n\nAt the same time we have been spending less and less time together; she is always either too tired or busy (not actually) or has family commitments. Another thing that scares me is that she repetitively says she just can't so 'no', and I fear that will lead to her cheating.\n\nIs it unreasonable for me to ask her to spend more time with me? \nIf so how do I do ask?\nOr should I just cut my losses, break-up and just save myself the pain? (although I'm scared of negative repercussion of this; because she could effectively ruin my life with what she knows. Plus I really care for her and don't want to leave her)", "summary": "Girlfriend spending a lot of time alone with another guy, it makes me uncomfortable and I'm looking for a solution. Advice?"} {"id": "t3_3g1yvx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm 17F. A creepy guy I work with (30s?M) keeps licking me (seriously).", "post": "Okay, this is really weird and it sounds weird but I really don't know what to do. \n\nI've been working at a local non-chain coffee shop for 6 months. I'll call the guy I mentioned in the title Joe. Joe is higher up than me but not a manager. He trains new employees, does inventory type stuff, and makes some of the baked goods we sell. \n\nThe other day it was a really slow day. Joe, another guy that works there (19M) and I were all talking and we got on the topic of double jointed people. The other guy mentioned something about being able to lick your elbow, and I mentioned that you can't feel if someone licks your elbow when you're not looking. Ever since then I have caught him attempting to lick my elbow/sometimes actually licking it. It's really weird and awkward.\n\nJoe has always been kind of awkward/slow to understand social cues. But I have told him firmly every time I catch him doing it to please stop and that it makes me uncomfortable. BUT HE STILL DOES IT. I don't really know who to talk to about this, or if it's even a thing to talk about. It's awkward and uncomfortable but it seems silly/immature. But then I turn around and see a grown man crouching to lick my elbow and I just about lose my shit. It happens every time we work together, 3+ times a day. He does it usually when no one is looking, but still, wtf.\n\nDo I go to someone about this? Do I yell at him? \n\nThere is two co-owners (married couple) that work every now and then but their kids are usually the ones in charge. Their kids are in their 20s so I'm not sure if they would take this seriously or think I'm joking or something.", "summary": "A guy I work with keeps licking my elbow because I can't feel it and thinks it's a game (maybe?)."} {"id": "t3_2qhe0b", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by touching my teachers beard", "post": "This happened some time ago, but I found out about the results recently. To start off I was hanging out with my older brother at school when his teacher came up the stairs, and for some strange reason that I don't know why I run up to him and touch his beard and not just touch I mean straight up grab it for w good could seconds. \n\nNow that some time has passed I asked my brother if his teacher still remembered me. Turns out he does and to make it even worse he still talks about it... The fuck up is that he'll be my teacher next year. :(", "summary": "Touched my future teachers beard thought he would forget, turns out he still remembers and frequently talks about it to my brother."} {"id": "t3_2mx52e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] how to move on without being angry", "post": "My ex and I were together for 7 months. We hit it off from day one. For me, this relationship was a big deal. In the past year, I had been with 8 different people but wouldn't get close to any of them. \n\nThis was different, he actually was interested in me and what made me, me. Before I knew it I was falling in love, which I didn't realize, I had pushed it so far away. We had amazing communication. For the first time I was 100% even when I messed up or did something he didn't like. Before I would have lied and avoided. But everything he knew. \n\nHe supported me in my studies and my future, along with my recovery. I also expressed that I loved him which was the first true relationship for me to do that with. \n\nEverything started on wed. he was sick, I made a care basket and made my way over there, just for company. I had homework for if he wanted to sleep. We ended up connecting really well, something that had been on the fence for a few weeks. I asked about Thanksgiving with his family. Then Christmas and how that will work, I asked if he would be interested in a small Christmas with just the two of us, a small meal, small tree, and old movies. He was thrilled, I even had a special weekend surprise set up for him.\n\nThen he barely replied to my texts, Tuesday he called me up and said I wanna break up, less than a five min conversation. and just like that it was over.\n\nI am crushed, angry, hurt. I don't know the reason, I don't know what he is thinking or why. I just know it ended and wont respond to me. I've decided to give him time and when he was ready he will tell me. But in the mean time how do I not be angry for if he does want to talk? Advise?", "summary": "Everything looked fine, then one day he ends it and now wont respond to me. I've decided to wait for him to come to me but in the meantime, how do I not be angry?"} {"id": "t3_1ssd6j", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By deleting my coworker's last month's worth of work", "post": "So today, my coworker at a tech company asked me to help him set up a second database for one of our apps. \n \nHim: \"I've been working with 'App' for a while now. I've been working hard on making the data in it really great for demos, I just need a second version of 'App' for dicking around with development work.\" \n\nMe: \"OK Great! I've done this before, I'll help you set it up!\" \n\n45 minutes later. \n\nMe: \"OK That was harder than I thought it would be, but this new instance of App seems to be working! Try bringing up your original App to make sure it still works! :D\" \n\nOriginal version of App comes up.... NO DATA! \n\nUs: (\u25c9\ufe35\u25c9) (\u25c9\ufe35\u25c9) \n\nMe: \"Well, looks like there's no data in this anymore\" \n\nHim: \"...\" (trying to be a good sport about it)\n\nMe: \"Well that's fucked up. Sorry dude\"", "summary": "Today I fucked up and I feel really bad about it. I lost a lot of his work and he works really hard. "} {"id": "t3_33bl3d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22/F] with my S/O [26 M] told me he'd be home at 5, it is now 10:40 our time.", "post": "Boyfriend went to a co-workers house today to work on a project, told me he'd be home around the same time I got home from work. I got home and figured he must be running late. Have not heard from him since. He doesn't have a phone, so I've messaged his facebook numerous times since 5. He doesn't drink/party at all, and we have a happy relationship. I'm really worried that he's in a car accident or something. I messaged the co-worker on facebook to ask what time he left and haven't heard back either. \n\nMy questions are: Has this ever happened to anyone? What do you do? The waiting is awful. We are in Canada btw. There are no reports of accidents on the internet, but I don't know how quickly those things \"break\" news-wise. \n\nIm just so worried something has happened and they wont be able to contact me or anyone he knows because he doesn't own a phone!", "summary": "boyfriend has not returned home, is almost 6 hours late. Has this happened to you before? What do you do in this situation/ is there anything I can do?"} {"id": "t3_1uifbx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (18f) boyfriend (19m) is already giving up his new years resolution, and seemingly everything.", "post": "My best friend from childhood, but just started officially dating 5 moths ago.\n\n A few years ago \"T\"s mother was diagnosed with ms, and he struggles to deal with that, along with other family based issues. This has always resulted in him turning to weed as a way to deal. This year cigarettes got added to the mix, and he got progressively worse; withdrawn, angry, depressed. With all of this going on its hard for him to save up any money or even consider a better future.\n\n The good guy in him quit cigarettes on new years, knowing I don't approve. But literally 5 days later he said he didn't think he was at a point in his life where that would be possible, and he hopes I don't judge him for it. \n\n I just dont know what to do. I'm trying to maintain the high grades that we both used to want, and saving up for a future. And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with our relationship itself, his life is always nagging at the back of my mind. I can't live that lifestyle, but that is no grounds for leaving him, especially when I know that's not the life he wants either.", "summary": "his life is a mess and I feel like he's not even trying to fix it. Where's the line that needs to be crossed before I should be letting go."} {"id": "t3_4wzxes", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M27] and my SO [F27] have been together four years. I feel our relationship is stagnant and she is looking at me to move it forward. Can I get some advice?", "post": "I met my current SO when i was 23 shortly after completing my BS. She lived in my hometown working at a small bakery and we hit it off and began dating. I enjoy spending time with her, we almost always have fun together, and by and large she is not very demanding of me.\n\nSince that time, four years has passed. I have worked hard to get good footing in a career path which has led us to be in a long distance relationship for the past 14 months. As of the last couple of those months, I have grown weary of the distance. I feel that I either want to be close together or not together at all.\n\nShe is in the food service industry and has been ever since we met. She has been \"in school\" for the last four years and is still at least 3 semesters away from an associates degree. When I moved to my current location (a very high CoL area), she told me she would only move up here if we moved in together, but she can not contribute financially to the relocation. \n\nI don't make enough money to move her. I don't feel it is my responsibility if she wants to live with me. I also don't want to tell her she has to move or we'll break up, as I do not believe in ultimatums in a relationship. I recently had an opportunity arise to move back to where we met (a low CoL area), and when i mentioned her moving in, she said she would not live with me unless we were engaged.\n\nAt the end of the day, I feel like I am responsible for both the future and health of our potential family, as well as solely responsible for her future. This is weighing on me a lot and I feel almost taken advantage of. Is there another way I should be looking at this?\n\nI will be happy to continue talking with people in the comments to release more details. Just looking for someone else to bounce this off of.", "summary": "she wants me to handle everything, has no college degree or career path, and won't move in with me unless i propose. Am i crazy for thinking she should be contributing more or demanding less?"} {"id": "t3_3rnnqb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19M] lied about losing my virginity. My gf [18F] of three years (one long break, dating again for six months) wants to know who/how/when/why... More information than I want to provide. What should I do?", "post": "**Yeah, this relationship is rocky. I wouldn't be in it if it weren't worth it to me, we've grown up a lot in the past year and want to make it work. Please take all information with this in mind.**\n\nI'd like to preface this by saying lying is never the right approach, and I answered her truthfully when she asked. However, I don't believe in dwelling on the past because it feels like a focus on who a person was rather than who they are now. \n\nMy girlfriend wants to know every detail of the encounter, and with who, and why, and where. I'm not at all comfortable with this, whether that's through insecurity or just a value system. I don't have contact with the person didn't have contact with them after the fact, told her it was me trying to throw the virginity out of the way, etc. Didn't seem to help much, and she still wants to know who. \n\nI think this is immature and a breach of my boundaries. I don't dwell on her sexual past, and she never told me any details when I asked about hers, and I feel better not knowing who, or why, or where. I'm in this relationship, right now, with just her, and only want the best from it. My past experiences do not weigh in at all. \n\nI lied because I was insecure and weak and cowardly, and bringing up something so suppressed is taking it's toll on me. \n\nI'll provide any further information if asked.\n\nWhat do I do?", "summary": "I don't want to tell my girlfriend who I've slept with. Or why. Or when. I don't think it would support the relationship, and it would provide unnecessary strain."} {"id": "t3_2hbvv1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [f24] moved with boyfriend [m25] for his job to a new city and hate living here but don't want to leave relationship over it.", "post": "Together 2 years.\n\nI recently moved with my boyfriend to a new city and after a few months I still think about moving back to my hometown constantly. I grew up in a smaller resort vacation town. It was safe and beautiful and a tourist destination. When I went to college (where we met) it was a smaller engineering school in the middle of the woods. Again, safe and scenic. Now, we live in Cleveland and even though we live on the outer parts of it I just dislike it so much. We live in a high rise and I can't stand being this close to so many people. I'm constantly on edge about crime. And no offense to anyone that lives here but it's just like they don't even try to make anything look nice. He has a job that is very much in demand, so he is not stuck here at all, and my future job is similar. I have mentioned moving to a different city a few times and he gets mad, which I understand since we just moved here and he provides so much for me since I'm still in school. I guess what I'm asking is if anyone has been in a similar situation and how do I be more realistic about this. I don't want to break up an otherwise perfect relationship over this. Eventually we will get a house out in the country but that won't be for awhile.", "summary": "Moved to Cleveland with bf 4 months ago and still not used to it. Dream about moving to hometown daily but do not want to break up over it. Anyone been in a situation like this?"} {"id": "t3_4v3xp1", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Did I accidentally get in the friend zone after a 1 night stand?", "post": "I lost my virginity in a 1 night stand to a girl I met at a bar. I didn't tell her I was a virgin until she put me inside her because I got really nervous when she did that. Sex was really nerve-wracking at first but I got more comfortable as it went along. \nSo the morning after I told her my friends that I was with at the bar were not going to believe that I lost my virginity (I'm 24 which I know is late). She asked me for my phone number so she could text me pictures of her so my friends would believe me. Later that day my best friend called her on my phone b/c he still thought I was lying. Right after that we briefly texted with each other. \n2 or 3 days later she sent me a friend request on facebook. My reaction was 1. oh that's her last name 2. it will be sorta awkward when she gets a boyfriend but I did lose my virginity to her so I will accept her request. So I added her and then I see she has all these posts with some bad boy. I thought ok why would you send someone you had 1 night stand with a friend request after you were already interested in someone else? So I went to her page to unfollow her in facebook and her latest post was something like \"there's nothing better than waking up to Jozea rubbing my bum\", seriously who posts stuff like that on facebook. For the record I wasn't stalking her profile page, like the posts I saw were ones that showed up on my timeline and she would post alot. \nSo yeah I am 100% bitter about the situation and I feel like I need to have another 1 night stand to get over this. If anyone knows the proper 1 night stand day after rules that would be helpful too.", "summary": "Why did the girl I lost my virginity to in a one night stand request me on facebook a few days later after she was already interested in someone else?"} {"id": "t3_3emf8y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 F] with my sister [23 F] I'm bad at deescalating arguments", "post": "On phone calls I've tried telling her that I'm going to hang up because we need a breather, but she just gets so angry. And once when I tried to leave while she was angry at me she body slammed the hood of my car and wouldn't get up until I went back inside. (Old beastly car luckily, but still not cool.) But letting her scream at me just gets her more worked up too, and I can never get a word in. What are some better ways of handling arguments? Obviously I'm terrible at deescalating situations, and I hate confrontation. We both grew up in a violent household if that helps at all. \n\nThe fights aren't anything serious, it's just stupid sister stuff. It just makes me feel nauseous and it's hard to shake off afterward.", "summary": "I'm bad at deescalating fights and hate confrontation, but my sister hates it when I try to avoid her."} {"id": "t3_j4i67", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I need some help and advice: I was overpaid without my knowledge over 4 years ago and now they want it back + 180%", "post": "It's not a whole lot of money, but as a mature student who is also working full time just to pay for tuition, it hurts. I was contacted by phone 1 month ago by a debt collection agency saying I owed $280.00. I was very surprised because I haven't been living in this country for 3.5 years (came back in February), and who it was owed to didn't make any sense. I held a contract over 4 years ago as a casual employee with the local government (library actually). I was working about 8-10 hours a week and liked the job. My contract ended normally and I was kept on the on-call list. I moved and left my contact information with my supervisor, including a telephone number and address to be reached at (incidentally I was going through a divorce and my previous address was given to my now ex-husband). My last day of work was December 30th 2006. According to them, I was over paid by 100$ on my last paycheck as a mistake (I didn't notice at the time, it was New Years and I was getting a divorce). I've spoken to two people in hr/payroll and they've both been rude, unsympathetic and unwilling to do anything except lower it 20$. I have no problem paying 100$ but paying an extra 180-160$ seems wildly excessive since this was by no means my fault, I was completely forthcoming and hadn't heard anything from them. They say that my information was never updated, and it was my responsibility to do so (which my supervisor never mentioned) so tough luck, I have to take on their 180$ mistake. The debt collecting agency is calling twice a week, I've had 2 pointless conversations with both a clerk and the manager of the section and I'm wondering how it's possible for a government organization to bully someone like this.\n\nHelp? Any advice would help. I obviously don't have funds to pay for a lawyer.", "summary": "I worked for my local government, they mistakenly overpaid me and are trying to fuck me over for 180$ and they expect me to like it."} {"id": "t3_fd4ii", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Found out some info via snooping (I know!). Can't say anything, but feel like shit.", "post": "So I found out that this guy that I thought didn't want to date me because of timing issues actually had this plan to dump me to get back together with his ex-gf. I was friends with him after we stopped dating and everything actually seemed pretty good, we got along really well and stuff, but after finding this out, I could not be normal, and am pretty sure I'll never talk to him again. Which is fine, I think it needed to happen, but it still makes me feel so worthless. We met online, didn't date for long, but it just makes me feel like crap that he didn't just say, \"I think I still have feelings for my ex, so we probably shouldn't date.\" And then continued to be friends with me, and tried to have sex with me. I guess I was just hoping someone might have a similar experience and insight into this situation.", "summary": "snooped in friend/previous dating partner's email, found out when we were dating he was not entirely up front about everything, now i feel like shit."} {"id": "t3_2qckl3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] and interested in [19 F] but don't know if she's interested in me?", "post": "So for the past month I guess I can say I have been seeing this girl. We've been talking everyday and we have been on a couple of dates. I am really into her and she seems into me but recently she has been cold towards me. We were at a christmas party last week and she was with me all night and she started vomiting as she had too much alcohol and I spent the night looking after her and making sure she was okay. She had a drunk confession telling me that she really liked me and that she doesn't know what I see in her and I told her how I felt which was the same pretty much. She kept on trying to sleep with me but as she was very drunk I didn't due to all respect (although I was drunk, just not as drunk as her). \n\nI ended up staying the night with her and then in the morning we ended up having sex. Ever since then she has been very shallow and far away from me and hasn't seemed interested. Saying things such as \"we aren't dating\" and \"I guess I'll never know\" whenever I suggest we do something. I was going to ask her out but now I don't know if she's interested anymore? Is this just a thing to see how interested I am?", "summary": "really into a girl, been on a couple of dates and talk every day. We slept with each other one night and now she's distant. Does this mean she isn't interested or?"} {"id": "t3_2nbpbd", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "I don't know who I am anymore, I feel like I am killing my passion for life, I didn't know where to post this so..any advice.", "post": "It all started in the summer of 2012, I was 16 and had just finished secondary school, a skinny white kid who wasn't bullied but wasn't popular. 6 Younger half-siblings and severe anxiety, my first year of 6th form did not help, it was fine but I just felt so...weak.\n\nSO after a year of bullshit I decided fuck it, I grew some balls and left 6th form, though I didn't really do anything afterwards, the reality of the real world destroyed my anxiety, I started working out and am not longer skinny and finally started slowly getting my shit together, very slowly. Fast forward to July 2014, no longer with any anxiety, I was on par with most people, just...normal, on my 18th that month I had a good time and decided \"Ok, enough of this childish bs, lets roll\" I started an online business, really pushed at the gym, got a tan (random I know but Im otherwise pretty pale) and started getting some attention from women, It was like I had taken nzt-48 (the pill in limitless) and I was just...happy. This lasted two weeks, my parents went away so I had my mates over, so naturally we got shitfaced and Very VERY stoned(weed-relax). I'd say that over the next week my state of being the man i'd always wanted to be was gone. \n\nAnyway, over the past few months I got a part time job, which I don't mind. But I stopped doing my A level work (which I am doing online now) and slacked at everything, all my life consists of now is smoking weed with my mates (who all smoke, that may be a problem) and going to the pub. \n\nThat passion, that \"true\" version of myself is gone, I need to get back but, I don't know how, I reckon stopping smoking weed will help but I don't think it will fully fix the issue, I'm too close to it all to think rationally. I need some objective opinions.", "summary": "Found my inner fire, lost my inner fire. Weed is one of the issues, one I know I need to address, but what else?"} {"id": "t3_4dcdr0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [34 M] wife [35 F] of 12 years has been cheating on me for 3 months. I don't know what to do.", "post": "Long story short, my wife and I have been having troubles for several years.it started when I went back to school 4 years ago and I preoccupied with my studies due to the intense workload. She believes that I pushed her away, which I may have due to stress and school requirements which meant I had to be away from home frequently for class and clinical hours. \n\nWe have 2 children together and I never in my life thought it would come to this. We were best friends when we got married.\n\nI just found out today as I was plugging my phone in to charge and noticed a text notification from her new boyfriend addressing her as 'lover'. I confronted her and she admitted to sleeping with him several times.\n\nI don't know what to do. I don't want our relationship to end like this but I also don't know if I'll ever be able to trust her again if we do stay together. \n\nI guess I just need some advice on how to handle the situation, both rebuilding trust if we stay together and also how to handle divorce with kids involved if it comes to that.", "summary": "Wife of 12 years has been cheating on me for at least 3 months. We have 2 kids together and I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_133fz0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26m] ruined a friendship with a friend [28f] because I'm attracted to her.", "post": "Hey Reddit, you've come through for me in the past, I'm really having trouble determining if I'm a fool here.. I'll try and be concise.\n\nA year or so ago I met a girl at the gym, really cute, kinda quirky. Talked to her there for a bit, didn't get to know her really well but we added each other on Facebook. She moved away to a nearby city shortly after.\n\nFast forward to a few months ago, she messaged me that she was moving back to my city. We talked online a bit, hung out a few times... she was pretty clear that we were just friends, but I wasn't really attracted to her at this point, she takes some time to get used to.\n\nRecently when we've been hanging out, we really started to 'click'. We get along great, effortless conversation/etc.. and I've discovered that I really started to be attracted to her. It's a one way attraction unfortunately.. so the other night, I just frankly told her that I was attracted to her, and I can't be friends anymore because of it, no hard feelings.\n\nAm I being foolish? I would rather not talk at all than be stuck in the friendzone. I enjoy hanging out with her, and she seems really hurt that I don't want to be friends anymore.. but I don't think I can hang out with her, considering the way things sit..\n\nWhat say you reddit?", "summary": "Met a girl, started hanging out as friends, ended up becoming attracted to her (not mutual), ended friendship rather than stay in the friendzone. Am I being foolish?"} {"id": "t3_yg6v1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the most worst thing your friend has done to another person?", "post": "For me, my friend ( Let's call him... Arthur)was actually asked to Prom by a girl he was friends with since Freshman year. She surprised him with flowers and he responded with \"Yeah, sure.\" Afterwards, when his best friend (Let's call him...Samuel) asked Arthur why he was going (At this point, Samuel just finished venting to Athur that Prom was a waste of money and they could go do other stuff.) Wanting to hang out with his bud instead, he replies \"I'm not really going with her lol.\" So basically, he pretends to say yes to a girl and not even inform her of his change in plans. She had to find out from word of mouth.", "summary": "Friend says yes to girl who asks him to Prom, only to change his mind and hang out with his bud without telling the girl himself."} {"id": "t3_27nq6g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17/F] non-gamer, trying to take an interest in my gamer boyfriend's [17/M] games but he keeps pushing me away.", "post": "Kind of a follow up from my last post \n\nI followed the suggestion of trying to become more interested in my boyfriend's games and ask questions about them. I ask him what position he plays in League and why, his favourite character, what objectives they have to reach, etc, but he just answers with \"you won't understand\" or \"is there really a point in explaining it to you if you'll just forget it the next day?\" I told him that I'm trying to take an interest in his games so we have more stuff to talk about and so that I can be a better girlfriend by not shitting on his games all the time but he truly doesn't care that I'm trying and always shuts me down. I told him that I'm trying the best that I can but he just replies with \"that's fine\" or \"you don't have to force it\". He doesn't care that I'm trying so hard to be a better girlfriend for him. Advice ? Is there anything else I can do to take interest in his games ? Should I just give up trying to understand all that stuff ?", "summary": "Trying to understand my boyfriend's games to be a better girlfriend but he doesn't care and just keeps saying \"you won't understand\". Advice ?"} {"id": "t3_1p6jmt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 F] with my husband [40 M] of five years, I am overly suspicious my husband is cheating for no good reason!", "post": "As stated in the title, I've been married to my husband for almost five years. He's a wonderful guy, and we have a great marriage.\n\nThe only problem is me. Every so often I fall into patterns of thinking that my husband is cheating on me, or wants/plans to. The rest of the time, I know that I trust him completely and could never imagine that he'd do something like that to me, but sometimes it's like a switch flips and I start imagining the worst situations from whatever \"evidence\" I can find, guessing that he's talking to women online, on the phone, while at work, etc.\n\nI generally try to keep it to myself for a while, being sulky, but eventually I end up telling my husband my suspicions. And every time he's patient, will go through and show me or explain to me whatever it is I'm worried about, and every time it's been nothing but my over active imagination. \n\nHe does nothing in his actions to suggest that he would cheat. Since we've been together and throughout the marriage so far, he's nothing but kind and loving to me. We spend most of our free time together genuinely as friends, and we have an active sex life and he's very openly affectionate. So I really don't know why I can't stop myself from imagining that he's cheating on me. I really want to stop, because I know it hurts him that I don't trust him. But once I start thinking these things, I'm not sure how to make myself ignore or forget about it and just eventually feel like I have to tell him, even while it's obvious from experience that I'll just find out that I'm being mistrustful for no reason at it was a mistake.", "summary": "Every so often I get obsessed with thinking my husband's cheating on me for no good reason. Why? And how do I stop/deal with it?"} {"id": "t3_2sf0x6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "22M with 20F GF, with a 18 month old child dated 3 years.", "post": "I'm going to keep this as short as possible, basically my girlfriend of 3 years moved out of our house together about 2 weeks ago and took our son back to where she is from (about 3 hours). The reason she did this is because I technically cheated. I took another girl on a date when we were arguing, but she knows nothing physical happened.. but she said that still eats her inside even though it was 4 months ago. \n\nI've been trying to convince her that I want to be a better father and boyfriend to her since she decided to leave two weeks ago. She says she still loves me but says she has \"no desire or will\" to make things work. What is the best thing I can do to change her mind? She has had my son 2 weeks and I get him for the next 2 weeks this weekend and I am hoping that she will miss us and come home but I'm not sure what to do without constantly bothering her.", "summary": "How can I give my ex the will or desire to make things work if she doesn't want to give me a chance?."} {"id": "t3_3lu4qb", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Is an HRM accurate for calculating calories?", "post": "I searched the FAQ and Reddit, but couldn't find a solid answer to this. If one exists and I just haven't found it or maybe used the wrong search terms, a link would be very much appreciated.\n\nAfter my last run, Endomondo paired with the Scosche Rhythm+ HRM told me I burned 1,331 calories over 85 minutes. I ran 5 miles at a pace of almost 17 minutes/mile with an average HR of 153 bpm. I'm trying to keep my HR low, but at no point did I walk or stop. (Yes, I'm aware this is so slow that most people could walk it. In the past, my best time was about 8.5 minutes/mi, but I'm just getting back into running and my HR wants to climb very high very quickly). I stayed in constant motion.\n\nMy question is this: Is this an accurate approximation for calories burned? I've seen the general \"100 calories/mile ran\" figure thrown out several places online, including runningforfitness.org. Using that calculation, I would have only burned 500 calories on my run. If that's true, then Endomondo is telling me I burned over 2.5 times that amount. That seems like a huge discrepancy. Has anyone else experienced this?\n\nAdditional possibly relevant info: Temperature and humidity were 95 degrees (Faherenheit) and 25%. Current weight is 208 lbs, height 5'10\". HRM says I spent 40% of the run in the Aerobic zone (70-80%) and 60% in the Anaerobic zone (80-90%).", "summary": "Endomondo+HRM say 1300+ calories after 5 mile run, conventional wisdom says 500. Which is correct?"} {"id": "t3_1wuw5m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my ex-girlfriend [20 F] of a little over a year, recently broke up with me and I'm not sure what to do.", "post": "My girlfriend recently broke up with me (Friday) and I'm not sure what to do. We had been fine, at least I think, until maybe December. She seemed a bit distant and I wanted to give her her space but maybe that's where I fucked up? Maybe I should of told her how I felt more instead of worrying I might scare her away. I seriously thought she was the one and still do. The break up seemed so out of the blue to me. We've never fought. Nothing seemed wrong. And when I asked her why she said she just didn't feel the same way anymore.\n\nI know it seems pretty straight forward, but I just don't understand. Maybe I'm too young or whatever and can't rationalize it but regardless its killing me. I've talked with friends and made sure no one was mad at her for it and for general advice, but I'm tired of the same advice. I'm tired of hearing \"you need to move on\" and the like. I don't want to move on. I've been friends with her for roughly five years and I've been crazy about her since the day I met her. When I finally confessed and she said she felt the same way, I don't think I had ever been happier. And this has genuinely been the best year of my life.\n\nI've talked to her since then and told her I was ok with being friends. Kind of doing a \"fake it till ya make it\" thing but I know its not going to work. I'm basically lying saying I want to be friends. I mean I want to be her friend like we used to but I'll always want to be more. What can I do to remind her how she felt? She's not the type to run off and find someone else so soon. I know I'm only 20 but I really don't want that to be part of the equation. Who cares how old I am. I just know I want her. And I do want her to be happy, but I want her to be happy with me. I just want someone to tell me what to do.", "summary": "Girlfriend of a year broke up with me. Was best friends with her for five years. I want advice other than to move on, even though I'm starting to realize that's probably all I can do."} {"id": "t3_1k1cii", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "How can I save my plans for short trips and adventures so that I can share and easily access them online?", "post": "I like planning short excursions and saving them for future access, when I'm ready for some adventure.\n\nAre there any good websites out there to help plan, and save locations for small to medium size trips. For example, I like to use google maps to save nice beaches, swimming holes and beach access close to me. I also like to save fun towns close to me that I want to explore, restaurants, and other adventures. I feel like there must be a better tool than google maps. \n\nFor example, my co-worker just gave me a good suggestion for a local beach that is great for kids, a nice place to rent paddle boards, a good place to get a picnic and an island to paddle to. I'd love to save all of this in one area so that I can access it and share it with others. Then, some weekend, when I have time for a short adventure, I can look up my saved trips and pick one. I'll have all the directions and details ready.", "summary": "Suggestions for a website that helps plan for weekend excursions and adventures? Something that can save multiple adventures and is easy to share with others?"} {"id": "t3_4fczsz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19F] with my 18 [M] are having issues based on religion.", "post": "Ok so first of all I am 100% new to Reddit so I'm still figuring this out, but I saw this subreddit and thought I might finally be able to find some help with this. \n\nSo here it goes, my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now (which I know isn't a super long time) and we are so good together, I have never met anyone like him he is the most caring and genuinely nice guy I have ever met. But we have a difference in religion and I don't know what to do about it. \n\nI am not a religious person, and I never had been but i am also not opposed to religion (I like to think that anything is a possibility) anyways my boyfriend is very Christian which I'm totally cool with I even go to church with him fairly regularly and probably about a month ago he was asking me all these things about if i've been able to open myself up to god yet. Pretty much what it is is he wants me to become a christian and I don't think I can do it. I called him on the phone that night in tears trying to explain to him that I couldn't just change my entire belief system without changing who I am. My boyfriend is determined that if I am unable to change my beliefs that we cannot work out in the long run and I am so confused. Like if I am going to be in a relationship with someone I want it to be for the long run, I don't want to waste my time and have myself even more hurt in the future if things stay like this. He makes me the happiest girl in the world when we are together, but at night I am stuck awake thinking about this and how inevitably we are going to break up. Can someone help?", "summary": "Me and my boyfriend have different beliefs, boyfriend wants me to change to be with him, don't know what to do. Help."} {"id": "t3_3arrtr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my gf [23 F] of 2 years are in a pickle. Need advice on how to get her to want to do couple activities again and not lead separate lives. I think she's the one.", "post": "We both lead very busy lives, her so more than me. I took it for granted that she should make more time for us when I haven't been putting initiative and effort in to planning quality time together. Now she doesn't want to do anything with me. Help! How do I get back in her life even though we live together? I know that she still loves me despite not talking right now.", "summary": "I messed up! Took her time for granted. Advice on how to get her to want to spend quality time together again?"} {"id": "t3_3wrx8h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My cousin [45M] just sent me [22F] an apology/thank you letter and I don't know how to respond", "post": "A couple of years ago, my uncle (by marriage prior to my birth) was diagnosed with cancer for the second time. It was a very final situation, with everyone preparing themselves for when he passed away.\n\nI was going to university nearby and when I went to visit with some vegetarian food for my aunt, they asked me to move in to help out. They paid me, I wasn't entirely a paragon of charity in all this, but when I agreed, it was to maintain a small farm and do all the cooking and cleaning and some of the care to let my aunt focus on her husband while still keeping her job.\n\nA few months in, my cousin moved back too to spend time with his father. This was really hard for him on a few levels - he was close with his dad, he moved away from all his friends, he was in a wheelchair in a rural environment, so found it difficult to leave the house further than the deck out front. And he took it out on his step-mother and I upon occasion, generally acting like a snarly teenager despite being twice my age. I didn't take it too personally, just mentally labelled him a bit of a dick and kept on keeping on.\n\nOnce my uncle passed away, I stuck around to help out with the funeral and so forth, and then left to go travelling. It's been two years since that six month period in which my cousin and I lived together, and I just received a hand written letter from him.\n\nIt apologises for his treatment of me and talks about how great I was, and how envious he was of both my attitude and my ability to concretely help. It references several specific events that he has clearly been lingering over that I... Just haven't, honestly. I basically forgot about it a few weeks later, and have been way too busy to linger on.\n\nWhat's the protocol here? Am I supposed to write a letter back, acknowledging that his behaviour was unpleasant but understandable and that I forgive him for it? It's clearly been weighing upon him much more than the other way around.", "summary": "My cousin just sent me a heart felt apology letter for something I honestly don't care much about. How do I respond without dismissing that?"} {"id": "t3_3iyy4b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [30M] have come to the conclusion that normal relationships (heterosexual, monogamous) don't work for me. I've been told that I'm in love with my friends. Is this a viable type of relationship?", "post": "Hello, \n\nI've been raised in a very repressive and religious household, in which the only option I considered was monogamous and heterosexual. But as I've grown older, I've been in multiple relationships over the years and I've never really thought of them as long lasting. My friendships have been the most important to me. \n\nMy friends have been there for me through good times and bad, allow me to be myself without guilt or shame (two issues I struggle with per my upbringing) and don't drain me of my time, attention, money, or energy the way a normal romantic relationship does. I'm extremely sexual and most of my friends are women, and I would love to have sex with most of those in my circle, not as a bragging right or just to get off, but because I actually care for them and love them as people. Sex and physical affection is just how I connect with humans, which is generally difficult for me to do, and jealousy is not something that I've ever had a problem with. \n\nThat's what I would like, but I've never heard of such a style of love or relationship before. I just want people in my life that I can interact with and love without them wanting to claim dominion over everything. Is this a viable style of relationship?", "summary": "I want to be in a relationship with most of my friends simultaneously, on a level deeper than FWB. Has anyone heard of a such a relationship style that works well for those involved?"} {"id": "t3_2btv7x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] 6 months (3 in person, 3 long distance), growing distant and wants a break", "post": "So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months now, the last 3 of which have been long distance (about 1k+ miles apart). When we were together in person everything was absolutely wonderful, we were very in love and talked all the time when not together. No issues to speak of. Then classes ended for the semester (we are both grad students) and I stayed in the city our university is in while she returned to her hometown because she could not afford rent over the summer. \n\nAt first, while long distance, everything was still great. She was stressed some, but because of unrelated factors, and I did my best to be there for her even from so far away. But now, 3 months later, things have tapered off. We barely talk anymore, though I still attempt to get conversations going. I am fairly certain it is all the long distance that is causing it, since neither of us has been able to visit the other and it is not a very long lasting relationship so far to begin with.\n\nAnyway, she just texted me that she wants a break until she returns. We knew going into summer that we would be apart for only the 4 month period that is summer break from classes, and while a bit lonely I have not had too many issues waiting for her to return so we can be together again. She says she just wants to be on break until she gets back, but with how distant we have been I am worried. Should I be? I feel like I am rambling by now, but I just wanted to put this somewhere and maybe get some advice.", "summary": "My girlfriend wants a break and I just need some advice, this is my first relationship and I don't really want it to end now when it was going so well."} {"id": "t3_2d6wds", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] still have an uneasy bad feeling after an argument with my [18F] girlfriend of 4 months, even though we are both over the argument now", "post": "So me and my Girlfriend got in an argument Thursday night, that caused a lot of bickering and arguments over the entire weekend. It wasn't over anything major and the argument is over now and were fine now.\n\nShe's the most caring, affectionate partner I'v ever had and I love her so when she went cold on me throughout the weekend as well as us having been argumentative with each other, which we never are It was slightly shocking\n\nEven though I'm not mad at her anymore and we'v both apologized and forgave each other I'm still kinda raw after it all\n\nIt's like I have tunnel vision and can only concentrate on what happened.\n\nI don't think I should tell my girlfriend I'm still raw after it all because when we bring up what happened it really brings the mood down.\n\nShe's back to her amazing affectionate self now and I'm being very positive to her so do I just need time? \n\nThis is my first relationship and first argument that lasted more than a day so is this normal?", "summary": "Got in my first big argument with my first serious girlfriend, everything fine now, but I'm still feeling bad, is this normal?"} {"id": "t3_l4mf1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Coolest 60's inspired gifts you can think of for my best friend's birthday, please!", "post": "So, it's my best friend's birthday soon and he's made a challenge out of getting him a gift. He told me that he didn't need anything and he has refused to give me any useful information, including clothing measurements and his mailing address for his college. \nHowever, I am not deterred! \nI want to get him the coolest 60's inspired present i can. \nYou see, he's kind of an nostalgic guy; he really wishes he lived in the 60's but not for the hippie crap, for the more elegant and proper and just generally more badass styles and times. \nThink Madmen (which he is a huge fan of, the Beatles, too.)", "summary": "Basically, Reddit, can you help me come up with an awesome 60's inspired gift for him, be it clothing or merchandise or art or anything awesome that you may have come across? "} {"id": "t3_uuat4", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I hate having sex and just got broken up with over it. Is there any hope of me ever having a successful long-term relationship? (Details inside.)", "post": "I'm not sure if this is the right place for this - if there is a more appropriate subreddit please do direct me there...\n\nSo here is my deal. I'm on a medication that kills my sex drive. I take the meds for a mental illness and I will be on them for the rest of my life - changing meds or going off them completely is not an option.\n\nI just got out of a 2+ year relationship with a woman who was extremely understanding and whom I loved very much. (I'm a woman too, by the way.) We had sex maybe once every few months, and when we did I couldn't get into it. Over the course of the relationship she started to get more and more frustrated at our lack of sex until finally she broke it off. It was a very amicable breakup and one that we both agreed needed to happen.\n\nSince then I've been thinking a lot about whether I'll ever be able to be in a healthy relationship. My ex was as loving and understanding as a person could be but even she couldn't stay with a person who wasn't able to be intimate. I liked being romantic and cuddling and all of that stuff but sex is just something that my body is not interested in. I tried faking it but found it emotionally exhausting. I just plain don't like it.\n\nI am only 24 and she was my first real long-term relationship, but I can't help feeling very depressed at my relationship outlook. Is there any hope for me to ever find a partner who will want to stay with me long-term despite a lack of intimacy? Should I resign myself to a lifetime of faking it and putting myself through unpleasant sex time and time again in order to maintain a relationship?", "summary": "No sex drive because of a necessary medication. Feel like I will never be able to be in a relationship because of it. Advice appreciated."} {"id": "t3_4wl2ht", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with a [25 F] I've been on multiple dates with, couldn't achieve an erection during an essential time", "post": "Last night we went on our 4th date - just the simple sit down for a nice dinner and movie afterwards.\n\nWe came back to my house and started making out the second we came in the door. Prior to this, we had only kissed, but this time it led to moving to the bedroom. We were both super turned on. I fingered/performed oral on her and made her orgasm. We then made out for at least 10 minutes before she said it was my turn.\n\nI had this horrible gut feeling and rush of nervousness that I was not going to be able to get hard. Despite being so turned on and the girl being so beautiful, of course my brain got the best of me. I maintained a semi-erection for a little while (HJ/BJ), but then it just completely went away.\n\nQuestions for girls: Would this bother you if this happened to you? (I really just don't want her to feel like it's her fault, because it wasn't.) Would you consider hooking up again or is this a bad sign/deal breaker?\n\nQuestions for guys: Has this happened to you? What did you do to solve the issue of being so excited that you made yourself nervous? Did the girl continue to date you and/or hookup with you even after you were unable to achieve an erection?\n\nThanks!", "summary": "Things got hot and heavy after a date, started hooking up, and couldn't get/maintain an erection. Does this bother girls or make them second think hooking up again?"} {"id": "t3_34uy3t", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "How do I take better care of my cats?", "post": "Dear Reddit,\nI recently moved in with my fiance and our cats are sharing a house together. Prior to moving in, my two male cats (a laid back Tonkinese and a Ragdoll with anxiety issues) lived relatively stress-free lives in my two-bedroom apartment. \n\nWere there altercations? yes, but there were also moments where the two of them would enjoy each other.\n\nNow that we are in a big house, everything has changed. Where they used to sleep on my bed, it is now a rare occurrence because there is no space for them. The vast (and I mean vast) amount of space and variety of windows and other places to sleep. We have two full sized cat trees, tons of furniture and 4,000 square feet.\n\nMost of the time there isn't an issue, but whenever my Ragdoll and my fiance's long-haired male cat (think Maine Coon) meet, there is always a lot of posturing and growling from my cat and hissing and loud meowing from the other cat. \n\nWe think the ragdoll purposely sits in places because it allows him to keep control over what is going on in the main hallways. \n\nBoth of them get along with the tonk, and they can all eat as long as the Ragdoll's bowls are in the next room. I try to greet and treat all of the cats fairly, but it seems like my Ragdoll just isn't interested in getting to know my fiancee's cat. \n\nMy fiancee and I just want all the cats to be able to be in the same general area and not cause so much commotion. \n\nWe have plenty of toys, we clean the litter boxes regularly, we feed them treats in the evening at the same time when my fiancee gets home and she puts calming stuff in the water. She also recently purchased an air freshener that releases pheromones to calm the cat down.\n\nWhat else can I do?", "summary": "\u2014 How do you teach two cats that there is no reason to hate eachother? We don't want to let them just fight it out."} {"id": "t3_3diqt4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [33M] cheated my wife [32F] married 8 years with child.", "post": "Hi,\n\nI cheated on my wife of 8 years, been together 15 years total. It was with a younger coworker after a party. My wife and I have been having problems for about a year, becoming distant. She's a very non-sexual/affectionate person, while I am certainly am.\n\nI've told her in the past months I've been unhappy, and wanted to seek counseling. My issues are her lack of affection towards me, and often she can be downright mean. Not name calling or insulting, but just cold towards me. It's not uncommon that she would go multiple days without as much as a hug, and if I tried to touch her, I'd be met with \"I don't want to have sex\".\n\nThere was a party over the weekend at our house we hold every year. I invited some people from work, including the girl in question. The party was fine, everyone had some drinks. At the end, a group was leaving to the bar, and I decided to go with, and my wife stayed home. The girl and I got flirty, and we ended up back at her place around 2am. We had sex (with protection), and I went home. My wife was upset I was out late, and had tracked my phone. I was drunk, didn't know what to say, and made up a story and fell asleep. Over the next three days, she kept pressing me on it, telling me she wouldn't be upset, and I finally came clean. I told her everything, and told her it was the truth. She punched me in the eye, and hasn't really been talking to me since.\n\nNow she doesn't believe anything I say, and is accusing me of carrying on a relationship, which is not true. It truly was a one night mistake. I want to stay with her, and move forward. We're scheduling marriage counseling, but can't get anything until tomorrow. Any advice in the meantime to try and calm the situation?", "summary": "Been unhappy at home, wife doesn't pay attention to me. I cheated once with a coworker, now she doesn't believe anything I say"} {"id": "t3_3l62i8", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forcibly celebrating the new year by accidentally ignoring my class", "post": "This happened Monday, but you know that whole deal.\n\n**Anyways**\n\nRosh Hashanah just happened, and after years of having class cancelled in school, I realized this wasn't the case in college. My 12:00 professor cancelled our class for that day quite a while ago, but the professor for my 8:30 didn't. Whatever. I guess I had to deal with that.\n\nFast forward to Sunday. Set my standard 5 alarms and sadly entered the realm of the unawakened.\n\nFast forward to Monday morning\n\n-Alarm 1: Wake up, go to the bathroom, go back to sleep\n\n-Alarm 2-5: Slap my phone, turn\n\nI finally woke up at 9:45, which is when my 8:30 ends. I decided that the only way to deal with sleeping through the class was to go back to bed until 1:00 PM.", "summary": "Forcibly imposed the Jewish new year upon my 8:30 class, made myself look more Jewish than I am by refusing to awaken*"} {"id": "t3_1ck3vc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is some advise you can give me and other reddit users under 21?", "post": "I usually dont post because i feel like im just whining to people but i truthfully need some help. i come from a low income family my parents work all day to pay for this little trailer we live in. i have 2 younger siblings so money is. always tight around here i am currently still in high school but will be graduating soon and will have.to start applying for colleges. i just really have no idea what i want to do with my life i know i am still young but i still cant get over the fact that im not a little kid anymore. growing up is awful. i didnt have much of a childhood so i still do childish things and act immature. i havent talked to my dad in weeks because he.says im a huge dissapointment. i have a passion for music and graphic arts and simply just any type of art. i dont know how to pursue my career as an artist or a muscician. these are the only things i really enjoy to do i dont have any family or many fuends so i basically just sit at home all day play my keyboard, write and browse reddit\n i need a computer to be able to record my music so i really need a job but i have a terrible fear of people( im nervous typing this thinking someone would know me so i made a throwaway) please give me some advise or what you did at the end of your high school years before college. also i need a computer to record music with i dont have much money so i was wondering if anyone here is a muscician what is the best computer i can get for a low price. thank you for readind and sorry for the long story.", "summary": "im finishing high school whats some advice to get over my fear of the outside world and what is a good computer to record music with that doesnt cost much"} {"id": "t3_2uge6f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my friend [18F] of more than 1 year having been going out recently, how would I go about DTRing?", "post": "I somehow met an amazing girl via Facebook about a year ago and we hit it off amazingly well and have been messaging eachother daily for the whole time.\n\nRecently, we've started going out together (took so long because we were both super shy [still kinda are but comfortable around eachother]) and our messages have started sounding more and more couple-ish. \nI want to bring up what exactly we are or how she feels about me but I have no idea how to do this.\nThe only experience I have is \"wna b my gf? kl\" when I was like 11.", "summary": "known a girl for a long time, recently started seeing her, want to know what we are/where we're headed."} {"id": "t3_206m16", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "M[21] I am about to ask a F[20] out, but see her rarely in person. Help me out here!!!", "post": "So as I mentioned in the title, I have a class with this girl and we hit it off good (from what I can tell). We chat before class begins and text every so often, and we see each other personally in class every Tuesday and Thursday. I really like her and want to ask her out for coffee. But there is a problem, I don't want to ask her in class (i.e. its a strict lecture like class), and the only time I would get a chance to ask her personally is after class. The problem with this is that she always walks out with her friend EVERY SINGLE TIME. I figured that calling her is the next best thing. Is this okay, I need to know if it is or not.", "summary": "I rarely see this girl in person, but we talk to each other quite a bit, is asking her out for a date over the phone bad?"} {"id": "t3_1ages8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How can I[26m] let her[25f] know that I don't care about her dating life without being a dick about it?", "post": "I[26m] have a friend[25f] who I've known for roughly 10 years, since high school that whenever we are with each other (hanging out, social outings, out to eat, etc) constantly talks about her dating woes and follies. I am at the point now where I just don't care about what this dude did, or didn't do. It's almost as if shes obsessed with the fact that shes single and cannot find a guy.. and I inevitably hear the stories on repeat. How can I let her know that I just do not care or want to hear about that part of her life without coming off as an asshole/terrible friend? To be honest, it's literally 90% of what she talks about with me.\n\nSome background:\nWe've known each other forever it seems, since early high school. Have been good friends since then and I have been hooked up with her friends through her, and I too have tried to set her up with guys I know. I see her as a friend, and nothing more since the later high school years and I'm fairly certain she feels the same way. We were room-mates for a brief period of time when she finished college and I had a spare room in my apartment at the time and everything was fine and dandy then from what I recall.", "summary": "Friend of many years won't stop talking about her dating life, and I'm to the point of just telling her to shut up whenever she brings it up."} {"id": "t3_3lzfup", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Positive reinforcement victory!", "post": "I am all aboard the positive reinforcement train. My husband, when we talk about it, basically is too, but in practice, he can be inconsistent. We got a second dog a few months ago. She was a year old and had no training (literally did not know her name) and was terrified of EVERYTHING because she had lived her whole life in one house and its backyard. Strollers, shopping carts, horses, cars driving by on the gravel road, would all send her into a tizzy of not just barking but howling. Gentle desensitization and patience and lots of treats allowed her to overcome fears of most of those things. \n\nRecently, we moved to an apartment building from a house. People walking up and down in the stairwell were the new thing that made her freak out and, of course, howl. Here's my husband's inconsistency: several times he has tried to get her to stop by yelling at her. And (as we know dogs often will) she DOES stop barking -- but his yelling clearly scares her and seems counterproductive to me when the problem is that she is scared and uncertain about people in the stairwell! \n\nMeanwhile, I had already started my positive reinforcement plan to solve the howling: I taught her a command to lie down in her bed, and now every time when we hear someone come in the door I tell her to go there. Conveniently my husband went out of town for a a week so I got to practice this with full consistency.\n\nUltimately I want the sound of the door to literally be a cue to go lie in her bed (good for when guests arrive too), but for now she is definitely learning to associate it and feel more confident about the situation. The howling is already gone, we are usually down to one or two mini woofs where she will look at me for confirmation (she is a dog and obviously hears people before I do) until I tell her to go. And today we had two times where she didn't bark at all and just jumped up and ran partways towards the door before looking at me for the command.", "summary": "Dog barks at neighbors, husband yells at her but while he is out of town, I teach her to lie down in her bed instead of barking when she hears people and it works!"} {"id": "t3_44db1q", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "(FL,USA) Started an LLC with a friend. We have no idea what we are doing and I'm worried he's going to screw up my tax filing.", "post": "A year ago, a friend, J, asked me to join him and work on a business plan for starting a small farm. We came up with a great name and J went ahead filing the paperwork and paying $140 to make the LLC official. \n \nHere we are a year later. The business is still in the \"is it feasible\" stage, however, we have attended a few workshops. He thinks the fees we paid for them become business expenses that are then taken from our yearly earnings on our taxes. I'm still a full-time student and my worry is that he going to misfile or mislabel something that has my name attached and delay or reduce my tax refund. Are my worries grounded?", "summary": "Two people who have no idea how LLCs work formed one, and and now one member thinks they have it all in the bag and other is (me) is worried they're going to get screwed."} {"id": "t3_397f81", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29m] don't have a clue as to how I should handle or voice my thoughts to my [28f] friend who is still married; she says she will \"eventually\" get a divorce but then hooks up with one of my friends [26m]", "post": "Going to give a quick brief about her: After living abroad for a few years with her husband, she returns home while he gets sent off to be stationed out of the country. I've known her since middle school and we've been good friends. After college, we lost contact during college but then got reacquainted and started talking again a bit more this year.\n\nAt one point she began talking about her relationship with her husband and that it was \"getting rocky\". I began to develop some feelings for her but I never acted upon it; I realized that having these kinds of thoughts/feelings would just lead to something worse so I took precaution when I was around her.\n\nHowever just recently, she did something that took me by surprise. \n\nMy friend and I moved in together and we invited our friends over. I decided to invite her as well; I figured maybe this was a good time to introduce her to our group and keep her occupied. She got along really well with everyone and as the party went on throughout the night she got particularly close to one of my friends. Everyone began to notice her gropey, flirty actions with him which eventually led them both having sex in his car. \n\nLast night she texts me asking if I had fun at the party, and then she sends me another text with a picture of him and her this morning showing off her spontaneous trip to Vegas; they both left together that same night during the party. I haven't replied back to her because I feel disgusted and confused about the situation. Am I overreacting and naive? Am I being unreasonable about how I feel? Should I or should I not replay back to her?", "summary": "Female friend that I occasionally hang with has sex with a male friend and now I see her in a different light. i don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_3e33st", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (18M) literally at a loss. No idea what to do.", "post": "So I've just come off a 3 year long depression back to being very social. I go out almost every day. I've been hanging out with this one old friend and just living the laid back stoner lifestyle all summer. A mutual friend of ours (female) is also in another friend group that I'm a part of and we've been spending a LOT of time together. We click amazingly well and there's never any awkward moments.\n\nHere's where the trouble starts. Yesterday she asked me how I feel about her and it was established that we both dig each other. There are many complications, however. She has a weird relationship with her ex where he is still very into her and I honestly don't know if she's completely over him or not. He's also someone I see occasionally and would definitely hate me if anything progressed with me and this girl. \n\nShe also said she isn't necessarily trying to have a relationship, but I think she said that just to not scare me away because before she had been heavily making light of the fact that she wants a boyfriend. This is the biggest source of confusion for me. I'm going to college in 1 month, and while her school is very close to mine (dating wouldn't be a problem) do I want a girlfriend in college? Does she?", "summary": "I am not emotionally equipped to deal with all the different facets of this situation. The girl that I like is surrounded by things that would make the situation not ideal. Please, please help me reddit."} {"id": "t3_n3cuj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "REDDIT! When was the first time you farted in front of your girlfriend/boyfriend/SO?", "post": "I was a senior in high school and just got my first real girlfriend. Started hanging out at her house a lot with my friend and her friend. One night we were watching a movie and I heard the rumbles in my stomach. Oh boy. I tried to hold it in but it would just hurt my stomach. So me thinking I was clever, I started \"sniffling\" and acting like my nose was runny so I could get up and go to the bathroom and try and let out this monstrous fart. Of course, nothing happened. So I went back to watching the movie and the rumbles come back...worse this time. I attempt the \"blow my nose\" thing again (did this about three times) and nothing! I was pissed. So as I was sitting on the couch, the stomach was going crazy and BOOM without even pushing, the loudest fart came out. Everyone laughed. I ended up dated the girl for three and half years after that. Learned she was good at farting too.", "summary": "Watching movie with girl friend and friends, had to fart, tried to let it out in the bathroom, ended up just letting it go in front of everyone."} {"id": "t3_4nnxla", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [31M] trying to deal with my girlfriend [30F] not wanting to go on vacations anywhere where other people have been before", "post": "Advice of \"find someone else\" is not going to be helpful, seriously. \n\nMy girlfriend and I have a long and great relationship. However, we're planning our first overseas vacation together and everything was going well until a few of her friends went on vacation to the same country we were planning on going to. \n\nShe now steadfastly refuses to go anywhere that other people she knows have been, period. I've tried explaining that neither of us have ever been to those places, and that it's a new and fun experience for us, but that doesn't matter. She says she wants our trip to be unique and to make other people jealous at how awesome our trip was. \n\nShe grew up in very humble beginnings so I'm a bit taken aback by the whole attitude about jealously. I've also tried to explain how it'll still be special for us together even if others have done it before, and that shouldn't matter, but \"I know people that have been there so it isn't special.\" I tried to give the example of what if we were going to Paris and you knew people that had been to the Eiffel tower, the louvre, and everywhere else worth seeing and she said she wouldn't want to go anymore just because her trip would be a copy of others. Wtf??", "summary": "girlfriend only wants to go on vacation places that no one she knows has ever been before. How do I convince her the trip is about our experience and not other people?"} {"id": "t3_2ov0sj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] have been casually seeing this guy [21M] and it seemed to be going well but now I'm not so sure.", "post": "We met on tinder and texted constantly for about 2 weeks before we decided to meet. We hung out at his apartment and ate food and just chilled. We did not kiss or sleep together.\n\nThen the next night he invited me over again and we both got pretty fucked up and we ended up having sex. This was on a saturday. \n\nThe following monday he invites me over again to cuddle and thats exactly what we did. No sex, no anything we just slept.\n\nI initiated plans for the next time we hung out and it was really fun and went well.\n\nI was at his place last night and I cant help but feel like hes not into me anymore. When I asked if he wanted to hang out he said \"if you want to\". And hes just barely texted me since I left. I'm not sure what happened because I thought things were going well.", "summary": "Guy really wants to see me at first, all of a sided not so willing or excited, hardly texts back. Wtf?"} {"id": "t3_1nhdqx", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Grad school is stressful and my motivation is flagging. Help! (Explanation inside)", "post": "Since January, I've lost over fifty pounds. I was doing especially well over the summer, when I had plenty of time to work out daily and plan my meals, but I'm now halfway through my first semester of law school and seriously struggling.\n\nA combination of \"stress eating\" (so. many. carbs.) and lack of time to work out (hell, at this point I'm hardly even finding time to sleep) has led me to gain about ten pounds back in a very short span of time.\n\nEvery day I wake up and tell myself that today will be the day I get back on track, and then....I get busy with another assignment. I eat the free (and usually very unhealthy) food at a lunch meeting. I grab something quick or microwaveable on the walk home because I'm starving and have zero time to cook.\n\nI know, I know, I've heard all of those excuses before too, but for the first time in my life I *sincerely* feel like I don't have any time to spare. \n\nOverworked grad students of loseit, any advice? I've come this far and don't want to mess it all up now.", "summary": "Just started grad school and rapidly gaining weight back as a result of stress eating/not working out. Suggestions for getting back on track?"} {"id": "t3_1wfehs", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Me [20M] and this girl made out dozen of times, but she said no to a relationship (and she still likes me). We hang out all the time, and she's often being flirty with me... I don't know what to feel or what to do.", "post": "Here's a quick synopsis: we go in the same class in this college, and we were friends for about five to six months. Two months ago we went out partying (the whole \"group\" of 5 friends..) and while I danced with this girl.. I felt something towards her. It felt fucking amazing to have my hands on her waist, to keep her close, to dance with her and what not. Days later it was bugging me so much I had to get it off my chest. As we were texting on Facebook I told her that I felt something and that I felt stupid since I really didn't want that, blah blah, just for her to tell me she felt the same. We went out to talk about it and ended up making out. Until the NYE came, we went out on 4 to 5 dates because we skip classes and we go somewhere alone and ... we kissed/made out every single time. \n\nShe hadn't been sure of a relationship.. Second to last date in 2013., I asked her about a relationship and she said she'll think about it and let me know in a day or two. She hadn't said anything for seven days and on 8th day we went out for a casual coffee and kissed and I told her to let me know on NYE. Fast forward to NYE, 30 minutes after a clock-ticking-kiss in front of everyone, she tells me she doesn't want a relationship because it will ruin our group of friends and our friendship, but that she can't stop thinking about me and her feelings..", "summary": "Kissed a girl from a group of mutual friends, dozen of times. She said no to a relationship, but she still likes me. Read below:"} {"id": "t3_1bb4v1", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I (m, 31) started dating last week with a girl (24). But after today I'm havin 2nd thoughts.", "post": "And the problem is that I don't know wether I'm just paranoid, or irationally fearful. Or wether my doubts are reasonable and I should start to think about what to do with them.\n\nI'm doubting my own feelings because I'm really inexperienced with dating and relationships, she's the first girl I've actually dated and had feelings for.\n\nAnyway, we went to the circus yesterday and had a great time. She stayed the night. ( No sex, we agreed on that though some heavy cuddling was involved. )\nNext day I brought her back home and met some of her family. Her grandfather & mother where fun people.\n\nHer brother was nice too, though a few things he said kind of made me panic. Before I brought her home he sent me a few txt messaged on my phone, telling me that I should take good care of his sister. That didn't sit all too well with me. But there's a few good reasons for him to be protective.Something I can let slide easily.\n\nWhen I met him in person he also seemed nice. Not someone I'm likely to ever be friends with but you can't like everyone. The three of us are chatting and the big subject of the conversation is drugs, hard drugs like XTC, speed, cocaine and others that I haven't heard of before. There's talk of using. And I know she's used xtc on occasion. But the way they talked about using and, what I hadn't know before **dealing* * made me want to just get away right there and then.\n\nI wasn't bothered by the occasional recreational use. But I'm seriously concerned because I think that her use of hard drugs is more frequent then she lead me to believe. And I don't want to be even remotely associated with the dealing of hard drugs. I believe/know she doesn't deal herself. But it's still very upsetting.", "summary": "New girl appears to use more drugs then I first believed, and brother seems to be a big user and dealer. Freaks me out"} {"id": "t3_1b7pse", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My [21/m] over 2 years relationship with her [20/f] is losing romance", "post": "Hi guys, I need some advice here..\n\nI started dating this girl back in freshmen year of college. We fell pretty hard for each other. We've been going out for over two years now and things have been really ... blech.\n\nWe both go to the same college and we both have roommates. For the past couple of months, our relationship has been somewhat of a really close friendship (if you could call it that). All we do is eat together sometimes, study, sleep and go to school. There hasn't been any excitement (sexual or not) for a long time.\n\nI talked to her about this before. She kept on saying it's because we both have roommates, so there isn't any time/space for anything personal/sexual between us. (I'll be lucky if I get it twice a month).\n\nSo now it feels like we are more like best friends than lovers.\n\nI really want to bring this up (I have before, and every time she just thinks I'm blaming her..) but I don't know how to start it. \n\nA part of me wants out and another part doesn't have the heart to hurt her. (I know she's crazy about me and we have told each other that we want a marriage). \n\nSo what do I do now? \n\nI appreciate any advice you guys can give!", "summary": "dated this girl for over two years. Relationship is slowly becoming like friendship. She's still crazy about me though. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_24uqu3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my girlfriend[20 F] of 1 year, she's been abroad for almost half the year and I'm not sure about the relationship anymore.", "post": "I've been with my current girlfriend for a year now since our second year of college. With her I've had some of the best times of my life so far. She always takes care of me physically and emotionally and has given me so much support. I've never experienced a connection with someone like this before. I honestly feel like she's the type I'd like to marry one day.\n\nShe decided to study abroad for almost half a year now and we webcam almost every day so I don't miss her terribly. In her absence I've gotten a taste of what it's like to be on my own again and it felt refreshing. I started cooking my own meals, I can focus more on my studies, and I feel like I have more time for friends and myself. I've changed so much since I've been with her and I'd like to see how I'd do on my own. \n\nI can see myself being with her for a long time but I feel like I'm going to slowly regret not being on my own and in time that will worsen our relationship. I'm the type of person that always wants something new so I know if I continue this relationship for the long run I'd probably start to resent it.\n\nThe only thing that really keeping me from making the decision to break up with her is that she's very insecure. She's always talks down on herself and she very opinionated so she doesn't have many of her own friends. I'm afraid if I leave her she'd be alone and hate herself in her last year of college and I care for her enough to not want that for her. \n\nI feel like I have to choose between ending it now or just waiting for something to happen that would end it for us. Should I just try and stick it out or be selfish and just pursue my own wants?", "summary": "Had a life changing girlfriend. She went to study abroad for a bit and now I want to go try living life on my own."} {"id": "t3_3h64yk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29F] with my BF [32M], broke up with him after four months of dating. Did I do the right thing?", "post": "The reason I broke up with him was not due to lack of attraction on my part, but a lack of effort on his in regards to setting up dates and maintaining contact. He works evenings and has a son who was visiting for the summer, along with taking care of ailing parents. So it was understandable at first that he didn't have time...but after a while I started to realize that our only real relationship was through text. I would see him about twice a month on average, and a lot of times I would have to be the one to bring it up that I'd like to see him. At the same time, he would say things like \"just be patient with me, things will get better when _________ (son leaves, take time off work, etc...)\". The final straw was on Thursday. He and I had talked the night before, and he said that he would call me the next day and we could make plans. Well, he must have forgotten (did I mention I hadn't seen him in three weeks at that point?) because I kept waiting for him to call and he never did. Finally at about 9pm, I realized he wasn't going to call me that day, so I texted him something like \"I can't understand why I believed that you would call me today\". He texted back really nonchalant \"oh I'm sorry I was busy today. Do you want to come over?\". I knew that he wouldn't have remembered had I not texted him that night, so I just basically texted back \"I'm tired of you giving me false hope. I get it, you don't care. Just stay out of my life.\" Yeah I was mad.\n\nNow I guess it's pretty normal, but I feel pretty down about the whole thing now, like maybe he really did care about me and I was the one in the wrong. However, how can you forget about plans you made with someone the night before, unless you really just didn't care? I keep thinking \"I wish I didn't erase his number\" just because sometimes I think about getting more closure about the whole thing, like maybe I should still be a \"string along\" and see where it takes me?", "summary": "broke up with BF due to low effort on his part in maintaining contact. I now question whether he was really busy but did care about me or if he did not care and made promises and texted nice things just to string me along."} {"id": "t3_1iuooq", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "How bad is this lawyer?", "post": "Short answer: Obviously pretty bad\n\nLong answer: Curious to see what r/legaladvice thinks of this guy: my friend is currently a defendant in a civil action. It sounds like a pretty frivolous lawsuit, and he has a good lawyer. Problem is that the plaintiff's lawyer is pretty awful - he's had his law license suspended twice by the state board for incompetence.\n\nAlso, he doesn't have emotional control of his client. The evidence came in the form of an email that was *forwarded to my friends lawyer by the opposing (plaintiff's) lawyer*. That's right, an actual email, private conversation, between the plaintiff and his counsel... forwarded to the defendant's lawyer.\n\nMy question - this is obviously unethical, but is there anything my friend (defendent) or his attorney do at this point? Obviously, my friend wants this civil claim to go away as quickly as possible and he's considered telling the plaintiff that he should consider getting a real attorney. One that doesn't chase ambulances and forwards private emails.", "summary": "California friend's lawyer got forwarded private email conversations between the opposing side and his attorney, and now my friend is considering starting a turd storm in order to force the opposing side to blow up and drop a frivolous civil claim"} {"id": "t3_4kftvq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My 23f boyfriend 22m said something that's concerning me even though it was part of a hypothetical discussion.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. Generally our relationship has been good, but I'm not really thinking about marriage at this point. \n\nThe other day, my boyfriend and I got on the subject of divorce, and he said that if he ever got divorced (he didn't say from me specifically, he meant in general) he would prefer to also leave his kids, to avoid custody issues and any problems from having two homes. I said that was terrible, what if the kids missed him? He said his friend ' s father had just sent in child support after the divorce but never visited, and that his friend was better off and was doing fine. I don't know my boyfriend ' s friend well enough to know the situation, but I told him that wouldn't work for every kid, and that it also wasnt right to make the mother handle everything. He just shrugged and said that if the mother couldn't handle it someone else should take the kids. \n\nI was pretty shocked that he felt this way, and I know that my hypothetical ex husband walking out of my kids lives would not be okay with me at all, unless he was a terrible person. The issue is, I'm not sure if I'm overreacting about being upset. If marriage and children were definitely on the table then I would have definitely taken his comment seriously, but we aren't any where near that stage, and it's possible he was just talking out of his ass about something he hasn't put any real thought into, and that he wouldn't actually do this if the kids were real people, not just faceless hypothetical ones. I don't know if I should leave it, confront him about what he said, or what.", "summary": "boyfriend made a comment saying that he would not visit his children if he ever got divorced. I don't know how serious he was."} {"id": "t3_30du4r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How can I [25F] change the tension between Bf's friend's fianc\u00e9e [26F] to make hangout out with her enjoyable?", "post": "My bf (let's call him Atticus) of 4 years has this male friend (let's call him Bob 25F) and were friends ever since high school. Now fast forward to the future, Bob has a fianc\u00e9e (let's call her Mary 26F). They've also been together 4 years. But we only hung out wth them for the last half year when we moved back into town. Let's just say if it were possible, Bob would like to hang out with us EVERY weekend (however, Atticus likes to spend alone time with me on some weekends. We go on dates just the two of us). \n\nBut to be fair in the relationship I have with Atticus, we do go to hang with Bob and Mary every other weekend. Our hobby hat we've all have in common: board games. That's what we do when we all hang out together. But now my problem really exists with Mary. \n\n[Her background: Mary is more of a tomboy... Well, I suppose only dresses like one. But she does art stuff, knit, and crochet. ]\n\nAnytime we hang out with them, Mary talks with Atticus with ease and never opens a conversation with me. I always start chatting about random things, and the conversation always ends with her. I know Mary does not have many female friends.. I even invited her out with my 2 female friends and they thought she was weird (they didn't say it, but I could tell just by the look on their faces. My friends would ask her questions, and again... The conversation always ended with Mary. Mary did not ask questions or anything. \n\nMaybe Mary is just a shy person? Or is just an awkward person? I don't know... Well at this point I dread hanging out with them because of Mary.", "summary": "But my question is how can I change this awkward tension between my bf's friend's fianc\u00e9e and I. I want us to be able to hang out together.. She makes it difficult to enjoy hanging out together."} {"id": "t3_32m2bk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22 F] worried I've fallen out of love with my [22 M] partner of 1 year", "post": "I can't seem to get enough distance from this to have any kind of objective perspective on the matter, so I'm seeking help.\n\nMy boyfriend and I have been friends for the whole of our college careers and have been dating for a little over a year. We have a good relationship- we are supportive, kind, and loving to each other. I laugh with him, I enjoy his company, I feel that I could tell him just about anything. We have great sex pretty regularly. I do not doubt that I love this man.\n\nWhat I do doubt is if I am *in* love. Lately I have been thinking almost non-stop about men I've been with in the past, and men I'm around that I would like to be with. I have dreams about my exes. When I'm with my man I don't get any of the same genuine joy that I used to when we hung out, it's more of a general contentment. I don't look forward to a future with him the way that I used to. I notice more regularly in him flaws that used to not matter to me. I know that he does not share these feelings. \n\nIs this a normal part of a long-term relationship? Do I need to just suck it up and throw myself into this whole-heartedly? Is this just the ~honeymoon phase~ wearing off or should I seriously evaluate if I should continue on in this relationship?", "summary": "I've been with my partner for a year and I'm beginning to have serious doubts: is this a normal part of a long-term relationship?"} {"id": "t3_f56dh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "This girl got me confused...Why is this going on?", "post": "Hello Reddit! \n\nI am in need of some advice with my \"relationship\" that has been going on for a few weeks now. I am 23 and she is 25, We are getting along really well and everything seems to be going ok and she always is talking to me either on facebook/text/calling but she will always throw me curve balls that i do not under stand...For example she wont talk to me for a little while throughout the day then ill be the sweet guy and say something along the lines of \"i miss you\" and she will say \"nahhhh you just think you do\" or \"give it time it will pass\" and when i ask her why do you say stuff like that she goes \"lol cause im a bitch\" but really she is not, its like a shield that she is wearing... she has told me that she has been through a lot and i can understand this but what i feel for her is genuine and i do not think that she can see this....\n\nNow i understand that we have been only \"dating\" for 3 weeks or so and it should not mean too much but i really like this girl and from what i can tell she feels the same...But at the same time its like she is trying to get me to hate her and i cannot figure out why she is doing this...\n\nEvery weekend we hang out all weekend and she always crashes at my place where hours and hours of sexy time ensues and always sending dirty texts to each other during the week when we cannot see each other and 95% of the time we are great but these \"cause i'm a bitch\" and \"you don't miss me you just think you do\" responses are fucking with me.\n\nI just do not know what to do anymore, am i going down a road that is not worth it? I do not see me doing anything wrong, i been 100% honest with this girl the whole time i have been with her...i am at a crossroad where i do not know which direction to travel in...Please Help.................", "summary": "great relationship, but throws fucked up curve balls at me and i do not know what to think of it....Help."} {"id": "t3_1vdq33", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Future possibility of adoption questions. Im 24 and my GF is 23. No kids currently.", "post": "I've been dating this girl for over a year now, and she is hands down the best thing that's ever happened to me. I've had several relationships before her, and she beats out every prior relationship in every aspect by a mile. Basically my dream girl (and I have high standards). I definitely see myself marrying this girl in the future (I'm not rushing into anything, don't worry).\n\nThere is a good chance she won't be able to have kids due to medical issues, and this will probably mean adoption (or a surrogate or something), unless we were to try in the next few years. And even then there would likely be a higher probability of issues. I'm having trouble filtering out how I feel about not having a genetic relation to a kid, because I'm young enough to have ever thought of it before. \n\nI'm hoping to hear from parents of adopted kids, or the adopted kids themselves. I want to hear everything, such as how you love each other, if you still feel a parental bond, and just your thoughts on the topic in general. \n\nA big part of me feels guilty for feeling weird about something she can't control and wants to be told I'm a selfish little shit and need to snap out of it. And I also feel I should be told that many many relationships can't have kids naturally, and there could be something wrong with me as well to cause that and I just don't know about it yet. \n\nI've always thought I'd be a good father, as I learned a lot from mine. I've always thought it would be enjoyable to teach a son or daughter life skills, and experience the hardships and rewards of raising a child, I just want to be told it will basically be the same with an adopted child. \n\nI know how selfish this sounds, and I feel like an ass for even needing to ask about it. Please give me your thoughts on adoption and the parent child bond that's created through it.", "summary": "I love this girl and am open to adopting if we can't have kids, but I want to be absolutely sure I know what I'm getting myself into."} {"id": "t3_207n44", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M22] just broke up with my girlfriend [21F] and feel like a complete asshole", "post": "I'm still in an anxiety episode, so forgive my awful typing.\n\nI dated this girl for four months or so. I liked her a lot, but as time went by, I felt like neither of us were able to help the other one's personal issues at all. It hurt my feelings tons that she wouldn't let me see her without makeup, ever, even after months of me telling her truthfully she's beautiful and shouldn't be ashamed to go outside with confidence with herself. In turn, her feelings would get hurt because I'm still hurt and angry towards an ex, mostly from just the trauma of it all, and she didn't know how to address it.\n\nIn short, neither of us seemed like we connected in the right way to be able to support each other the right way. She wanted me to not text her for a couple days, so she could think, because I made her upset over the weekend when I ran into a person I used to hang out with my ex with, and he brought her up, and I was upset, and her feelings were hurt because she felt she should be enough to make me forget her.\n\nShe texted me again today, and at a point asked me if I knew why she was upset. I told her truthfully I thought she was upset and wanted to break up, and after she said no, I told her I thought we should. She gets angry at me for hurting her and leaving her, and I tell her I thought it needed to be ended before things were dragged on, because we both aren't helping each other heal.\n\nI don't know. I feel like a bad person. I know she's a wonderful person. I hate that I hurt her. But I also don't think that we could be partners since neither of us apparently could support each other.\n\nDid at least anything I do seem like the right thing to do? Or even make sense? Sorry again; I'm still very panicky.", "summary": "Didn't think my girlfriend and I were going to get better around each other, broke up, feel awful and like an asshole"} {"id": "t3_4fodtj", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "2012 Subaru Impreza back at the dealer for the 14th time for the same issues.", "post": "Hello, Pittsburgh PA here!\n\nSo I have a 2012 Subaru Impreza which was part of the oil consumption lawsuit that just went through.\n\nBack in October I had the short-block replaced because of the issues it was having. All covered under warranty. The dealership has been great, no charges for rentals and generally good people all around....\n\nHowever, It has been back in the shop 14 times since they did the short-block replacement. Each time something else is going wrong. They blame it on not having a full engine from the factory, and since they just replaced part of it, it is causing the issues. Mind you, I NEVER once had an issue before this.\n\nThis last time it was in for 3 weeks. They had their master mechanic tear it down, replace any parts that he thought were bad and put it all back together.\n\nSo it is running GREAT, all the small things I noticed have gone away and I thought we were in the clear...\n\nWell, two days ago i noticed oil drips in the garage from sitting over night. Called the dealer and I have to take it back in on Friday. They said if it is something major, they may look into getting Corporate involved. Which I think they should have done by now already.\n\nIs there anything I can do legally with this issues? I know that Im not paying for anything, but if I'm going to have to worry about something going wrong on a weekly basis, that isn't acceptable to me.\n\nThank you for any help!", "summary": "Car back in the shop for the 14th time after short-block replacement, under warranty. Anything I can do?"} {"id": "t3_q1huw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Having a Hard Time...", "post": "I'm sure that this post has happened a million times in this subreddit but I am feeling very confused. I am a 30 year old male who has been with the same woman for 10 years (her 41 female). At first we had a very active sex life )I met her when I was 20 and didn't have a lot of experience.) About 5 years in, I began to chat with other women and it lead to a few full fledged affairs that continued for the remainder of the relationship. There is a certain part of me that loves the woman she is but I do not really think that i'm \"IN\" love, and haven't felt attracted to her for a number of years.\nRecently we decided to take a break(I was more or less caught flirting with another woman), and she has gone to stay with her sister while I try and work out my feelings. When I come home at night I find myself missing her sitting there, and feeling bad about being unfaithful.\n Is this what happens when you break up with someone (I know that question really sounds naive)? I love her being around the way you liked your college room mate but I find myself satisfied that im out of the relationship. Does this confusion end? I guess the moral is that i'm quite confused and am hoping to hear from someone who maybe has been through this? I feel like this time, maybe I can change, but in my heart I feel like that is not the answer? Sorry for the rambling, ask any questions, provide any answers, thanks in advance.", "summary": "Need advise after a breakup. Do I make it work, or just realize that it never was working and continue on with life."} {"id": "t3_13q31x", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Last week one of my closest friends and life-long neighbors stole all of my and my roommates rent money to support his gambling problem I didn't even know he had. How have people surprised you in the worst way possible?", "post": "About 2 weeks ago my wallet went missing with about $500 cash in it. I tend to misplace things constantly so I went about searching for it. After a few days I humbly ask my parents to spot me the money and I would pay them back once I found my wallet. Fast-forward to this past Sunday. While I'm at work I check my bank account to make sure I have enough money and there are $400 dollars worth of charges made with my ATM card in the town around my house. I cancel the card and immediately call the police to start filing a report. Since all the money was taken out at ATM's I figured we would find whoever did it pretty quick because of that nifty little camera that looks at people's face as they take money out. I go back to working and finish my shift with my buddy. We leave with the intention of stopping at the police station to finish filing the report. On the way there he reveals that he had taken the money off the card to \"help get out of some trouble with a bookee.\" I flip out and scream at him for about 10 minutes. We get to the police station and I tern him in. They charge him for the full amount in the wallet and off the card. I don't know why he rode with me to the station. I guess he thought since we were best friends and my feelings about police I wouldn't tern him in. He guessed wrong. So reddit, what ways have people surprised you in the worst way possible?", "summary": "Best friend, life-long neighbor, and co-worker stole roughly $900 dollars from me and then rode with me to the police station not thinking I would tern him in. He was wrong."} {"id": "t3_1dkd18", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (F24) cheated on my boyfriend (M28) of two years. He forgave me but now he's asking if he can sleep with another woman so we're \"even\" - What do I do?", "post": "Two year serious relationship. I'm a 24 year old female, he's a 28 year old male.\n\nI cheated in the very beginning of our relationship. It was the first month we were exclusive and I slept with an ex. This has been my secret for the past two years and the guilt recently overwhelmed me. So I told my boyfriend what happened. He was extremely upset with me and almost broke it off. \n\nIt's been a couple of months and our relationship is finally back to normal. However, last night, he told me he thinks it would be fair if I allowed him to have sex with another woman since I had sex with another man. \n\nI immediately started crying. I fucked up so bad. He said it's not about revenge but I don't understand. **He's been the perfect boyfriend over the past two years.** He was faithful, sweet, kind, loving, and now he wants to fuck another girl just because I fucked another guy.\n\nI have a really bad feeling the girl he wants to have sex with is a chick he just met at college. I haven't met her yet but I get the feeling that's who he wants. I'm so afraid he's developing feelings for her.\n\nHas anyone ever gone through this?", "summary": "Boyfriend wants to have sex with another woman since I cheated on him. He's been the perfect boyfriend. I really fucked up this relationship."} {"id": "t3_1u7r5i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20/F] and my friends [19-23/All Genders] - seems I always end up as the \"drunk babysitter\" and don't know how to fix it", "post": "I'm a hopelessly responsible person, and realistically I have the most medical training of my friends (raised by a med school teacher). I'm also known for being very un-squeamish. I'm glad to have all these qualities, but combined they mean that I'm almost always the one who ends up taking care of others who get way too drunk. This happens with multiple friend groups, so it's not just that I'm \"friends with total jerks\" or anything - in fact, most of them are pretty fantastic people. \n\nOn the one hand, I wonder if I'm hypersensitive about this. My most recent ex manipulated me for a while by purposely getting himself sick from drinking when I was around (we have a lot of mutual friends) so that I'd pay attention to him. Since that, I can't help but feel a little angry every time someone drinks themselves to the \"helpless\" stage when it's clear that I'm the only one caring and/or sober enough to help them. I know it's probably not intentional on their part, but there's still some part of me that gets unreasonably upset about it. Especially because a lot of these people *know* about my history with my ex - hell, last night, my NYE got kinda fucked up when my best friend proceeded to drink herself into a near coma and I had to stay sober-ish to make sure she didn't choke on her own vomit (the only other person in the apartment was my SO).\n\nOn the other hand, I feel like I should set up boundaries on this. I get that we're young and still figuring out our tolerances and whatever, but *come on*. Then again, it's not the sort of thing where you can call someone's bluff on it...what kind of friend would I be if I let one of my friends get alcohol poisoning because I was too much of a selfish brat to take care of them? \n\nI don't know how to approach this without seeming totally selfish, like a drama queen, or like the biggest party pooper ever. Any advice is appreciated.", "summary": "I love my friends, but sometimes I wish I could get wasted without worrying if I'm sober enough to care for someone else"} {"id": "t3_sz1sc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Have you ever been cheated on and recovered? My brother-in-law cheated on my pregnant sister", "post": "when she was 31 weeks pregnant and confessed when she was 35 weeks pregnant because he contracted chlamydia. We don't know if he would have even told her otherwise. She gave birth on Wednesday and told me today because my parents didn't want what happened to her to sour my views on marriage. She's not sure what she should do, and I'm SO ANGRY I want to kill him.\n\nHe created an alternate email address and went on Adultfriendfinder to set up a \"date\" with a young woman to let him give her a facial, since my sister wouldn't. The day he met up with this prostitute (she asked for $300 because she was broke..... clearly a prostitute), he told my sister he was going out to get a gift for her because she was working so hard as a mother and wife. :| Then he drove an hour away, rented a hotel room and got his rocks off. It was all so premeditated.\n\nHe's apologizing profusely and they're in marriage counseling now and he has his own personal counselor as well. Apparently he had abandonment issues from his own very fucked up childhood and was worried my sister was leaving him too after the birth of their first child (born in 2010). He basically abandoned his own family after the birth of the first child and hired a full-time nanny to help my sister (who also had a full time job). This nanny sucked and neglected my niece and now she STILL can't speak because of this neglect. All because my brother-in-law was a selfish fucking asshole.\n\nI just wanted to know, has anyone else been cheated on like this (or worse) and managed to make the relationship work? Do you know of other couples that have overcome this? Or should my sister just start planning her exit strategy? She's not sure what she should do.", "summary": "My brother-in-law cheated, fucked up his family all to get his dick sucked by a whore. Can they recover from this?"} {"id": "t3_1kws6n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[24M] with my GF [20F], been dating for 3 weeks. She casually mentioned her old FWB is really good at sex. I'm insecure/jealous.", "post": "A girl and I have recently started dating. Long story short, she was talking about her past sexual experiences and said that her old FWB (male) (also her best friend currently) is very good at sex.\n\nI told her that makes me a bit jealous, and she promptly said that I'm good at fingering, etc. and that I'm a very affectionate, etc. To me, they are just compliments to shut me up even though I'm sure she was being sincere. \n\nI don't think I'm jealous because of the fact that a guy has had sex with her or whatever, because that's all in the past. I think I'm just insecure knowing that I'm possibly not her best sex partner, which is the dumbest thing ever but I can't help it.\n\nShould I just get over it? Or is there something I should do?\n\nI am going to try to not think about it too much. However, there is a very good chance I will meet her best friend. I feel like I would feel really insecure/self-conscious in front of him. What can I do to help ease that feeling?", "summary": "GF says her old FWB is good at sex; I feel insecure. Possibly meeting her old FWB soon; I feel even more insecure. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_238a6e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19m] have become fixated on marriage but I am in no position to plan marriage. Need help understanding and managing my thoughts!", "post": "For a bit of background, I am a 19 year old college student, and I have been in a relationship with a girl [19f] I feel I connect with on every level for about 8 months. While I do think we are still honeymooning a bit, I do see a real future with her. She requires quite a bit of attention, but I honestly think that is best for me: I like to be in that role. My girlfriend and I have a BDSM dynamic, and she sees me in a Daddy Dom role. I love taking care of her, it literally gets me off.\n\nRecently my siblings both became engaged and frankly I am enamored with the idea of marriage. I catch myself grazing my thumb against my ring finger, imagining what a wedding band would feel like. Whenever I'm studying for a crucial exam, I get motivated by imagining myself being able to provide for my girlfriend-now-wife and children. When we are having sex, I imagine her as my housewife (note, she knows about this fantasy).\n\nAll these behaviors sound harmless and possibly constructive for me, but I fear this fixation might bloom into something inappropriate. As much as I would like to, getting married young tends to be a bad idea for many reasons. I have actually discussed the idea of marriage with her (although not seriously, we just talk about everything). She is excited by the idea too. We have both acknowledged we probably will not be the same people in five years that we are today. I want to be financially secure before I settle into a life with someone, and that's not going to happen for quite some time. It's just a terrible idea to plan marriage at this point, but I can't stop thinking about it.\n\nIn short, my heart says \"yay!\", my brain says \"slow down, idiot!\". I believe I am maturely managing my obsession with marriage, but I want to keep this feeling in check. Can anyone help me understand these feelings? How can I keep my head on my shoulders?", "summary": "I am too young to seriously consider marriage, but I have a fixation with it. How can I channel this fixation into something manageable and more healthy?"} {"id": "t3_3ln3wy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[25F] feeling burnt out from bf's [27M] lack of kind reciprocation", "post": "I feel like I put a lot of effort into the relationship. I dote on him a lot. Massages for his back (he has a back injury), cook dinner most nights, He's in school and does not have a lot of money. I have a decent job and like to use my disposable income on both of us. I told him that he can do things for me like write sweet notes or foot rubs that would mean much more than gifts. He will offer to do things, but wants to do them on his own time. He also gets really angry if I ask him to do the thing he offered to do upfront. He agreed to make dinner once a week, but is inconsistent with it or makes dinner so late at night I end up just going to bed. He told me that he wanted to give me a massage every day that I worked (my field is very taxing on my body). I worked for three days straight and complained in passing my shoulder was acting up again. Instead of offering to help, he brought up that he felt he was too ambitious in offering to massage my shoulders every day I worked. Instead, he said he'd \"try for once a week and go from there.\" I really don't do things for him so I'll have a list of \"you owe me\"s. I genuinely enjoy taking care of people I care about. I just feel like he is very lazy in our relationship when it comes to follow through or reciprocation. I find myself becoming burnt out. When I try to stop accommodating his needs or doting on him, I feel anxious because that's not who I am. I feel guilty about not bringing him home something to eat or helping him if he needs it. I just wish he could see how uneven the give and take is in our relationship. My birthday is November and I'm going to see if he does anything to make me feel special. I'm already anticipating being disappointed, but I hope that is enough time for me to realize if I want to continue in this relationship. I just wish I felt like he cared for me as intensely as I do for him. I don't really know what to do.", "summary": "I do a lot for my boyfriend because I genuinely enjoy it. However, I'm beginning to feel burnt out from a lack of reciprocation."} {"id": "t3_3z1ss2", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[Sacramento, California] Renting a house. Water heater is old and insufficient, but not broken. Landlord's or tenant's responsibility to upgrade?", "post": "Location: Sacramento, California, US\n\nWe are a three adult household (plus child on the way) renting a house from a property management company.\n\nOur hot water heater is quite old (1977). It technically provides hot water, but not very much, especially in winter.\n\nWe figure that we can get about 10 gallons of hot water, plus 10 gallons of warm, before the heat drops to room temp.\n\nWe're curious about what the landlord is required to legally provide. My own googling just gives the general requirement of \"hot water,\" but I haven't found any info on minimum requirements for volume, or tank age.\n\nWe're willing to split the cost with the landlord for an upgrade, but want to make sure that they're covering their legal requirements first before we contribute funds towards a replacement.", "summary": "old water heater isn't meeting our needs, what are the landlord's requirements vs tenant responsibilities if we want to upgrade? We're willing to split costs."} {"id": "t3_1sim33", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Father [55M] hates Me [17M] because i'm not the same skin color as him..", "post": "Hello. My father married a Brazilian woman, he is white and she is brown. My mom passed away when I was very young, I had one brother and he was white, he got my fathers skin and I got my mothers skin. Ever since I can think, my dad has supported my brother multitude times more than me, I do better than my brother in everything but football which we are both in varsity.. I do more charitable work, I am nicer to my father, I have never cursed at him once, and I can count by fingers how many times I have raised my voice too him where-as my brother constantly cusses at him, loud arguments occasionally, and gets in trouble more... \n\nHe never says he loves me, says he loves my brother though... He calls us both '' son '' but says my name halve of the time in a commanding tone, and his friends I think are racist because whenever they are over my dad and his friends talk about and I quote '' niggers '' and '' wetbacks '', and '' coloreds '' .. I have even heard him say '' master race '' before. He has never said this to me, but I just overhear him.", "summary": "My father is racist, treats me badly compared to my brother for no reason, doesn't like me around his white friends, looks at me like i'm not his son..."} {"id": "t3_29gqvv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by telling a woman her shorts were unzipped in back.", "post": "This actually happened 25 years ago. I was eating at McDonalds in Green Hills, a small wealthy community in Nashville TN. It was lunchtime and there were lines at every register. A woman was standing waiting to order wearing shorts that zipped up the back. They were not zipped at all and she was showing her granny panties. She wasn't old, maybe mid thirties, but she was not thin and she did not have a particularly attractive figure. Not grossly overweight but no MILF. Still I felt bad for her and decided to tell her of her oversight. I felt it best to not draw a lot of attention to preserve her dignity. So I walked up beside her and whispered, \"Your shorts are unzipped\". I guess I caught her off guard because she jumped in the air sideways away from me and screamed like I'd said, \"Boo\"! Now everyone in the restaurant was looking at this construction worker dressed in dirty coveralls standing next to a clearly well to do woman with unzipped pants. She turned toward me and apologized saying I'd scared her. As gracefully as I could, I told her I was sorry I'd startled her and that her pants were unzipped down the back. I then went back to my meal she got her food and sat down. Now here's the part that even to this day amazes me. She was with her husband. We looked at each other at one point and he glared at me. Hey buddy if you don't want your wife to go out in public with her pants unzipped you should still be checking out her ass. I can tell you my wife would never make it out of the house with her pants unzipped because I check her body out constantly in my continuing efforts to pork her.", "summary": "Tried to surreptitiously tell woman her pants were unzipped, startled her and attracted everyone's attention to us."} {"id": "t3_3vzli7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by choking my girlfriend", "post": "Hey Reddit! This happened on Sunday. \n\nSo there I was, half in the bag at my best friend's engagement and housewarming party. Family and friends were gathered all around his well decorated new living room. Everyone is having a delightful time. The room is buzzing with side conversations, light music is playing in the back ground, his new Fiance is cooking some small appetizers with the other ladies and the guys are all drinking beer and chit-chatting about finishing the basement, how nice the driveway is and how great he (best friend) is doing. \n\nMy girlfriend (my shy, very intelligent, beautiful girlfriend) is sitting in between two of the oldest friends of the couple's family. I sit next to her and gently place my hand on her thigh to let her know that I'm there. She smiles and whispers to me, asking for a bottle of water. I return quickly in my idiotic stupor and hand it to her like a good dog. She, given her sense of humor, eye-balls be from the side and dramatically throws her head back as if to take a long, slow drink of this sweet nectar of the Gods. \n\nWHEN OUT OF NOWHERE I SQUEEZE THE WATER BOTTLE, RAMMING +8oz OF WATER DOWN HER THROAT.\n\nImmediately I see her eyes get huge and she begins to choke, spitting water all over her new pants, sweater, floor and almost throwing up on the family friends while I run around the kitchen looking for paper towels. \n\nI apologized immediately after, wondering why the hell it seemed so funny in my head, while she laughed and cried hysterically. (Yes, she thought it was hilarious.) The only other people who thought it was a riot was my brother, best friend and his fiance. \n\nEveryone else was baffled by \"how much of an asshole that I am,\" and proceeded to spend the rest of the evening giving me dirty looks, making snarky comments like *\"if you don't want to ride home with him, you don't have to\"* and the like.", "summary": "Made my shy girlfriend deep throat the contents of a Poland Springs bottle in front of old people at an engagement party and spent the evening being judged."} {"id": "t3_3ku4w2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my GF [22 F] 2y (6 months of actual dating, Pregnancy scare now questioning relationship", "post": "Greetings strangers on the internet (because you're basically the only people I feel really comfortable asking this about)\n\nMy GF and I have been together for two years but because of our work schedules I really more consider us to be at the 6 month point relationship wise (we get together about 2 days out of the month for any time, even a half hour).\n\nRecently we had sex for the first time and she told me the other day she was 'late'. She asked me what to do and I suggested pregnancy tests, if necessary followed by doctors visits and if necessary the abortion pill that is now legal in Canada since neither of us want or even can raise children where our lives stand. The test came back negative and she's going to use the other two at three day increments to be sure (she thinks it may also be late due to stress).\n\nI've been questioning our relationship on and off because she feels comfortable going long spans ignoring me but now I'm questioning if I even want this woman as the mother of my children.\n\nAre these feelings normal and will pass or should I be exploring them further to come to a final answer?\n\nHelp me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.", "summary": "GF and I had pregnancy scare, now I question if I want a relationship with her**/**is this normal and will pass or should I be worried?"} {"id": "t3_27qmeh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My so (F/18) Lied to me (M/19) about who she has been texting with, I need to learn to trust her again.", "post": "Hey ladies and gents of reddit. I M/19 am in a bit of a jam in my relationship. A couple of days ago I found out my SO F/18 has been lying to me. \n\nShe has been talking to one of her exs. Now this wouldnt be a problem except he has been openly flirting with her, and when I asked who this guy was (before I found out he was flirting) she said a friend. So basically she lied by omission. \n\nNow yes I only found out bcs I was going trough her phone ( which we had previously agreed was ok for both of us to do). Still I confronted her about it, She apologized profusely and said it would never happen again but this is the second time she lies to me about this. \n\nI have been cheated on in the past but I want to give her one more chance bcs she is a great person, and makes me insanely happy but I feel completely betrayed and my trust in her is at 0%. \n\nI just want to know how to trust her again", "summary": "My SO LIED to me by omission when she failed to tell me he was an ex and was openly flirting with her. I want to learn how to trust her again."} {"id": "t3_r7xj6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Honestly, who are all of these people crying on Reddit?", "post": "Despite the title, I'm not knocking or belittling it, but really, is everyone actually crying? Just read through the comments on the post about the guy reserving the seat at the bar for the dead soldier (R.I.P.), and everyone was respectful and obviously moved by the story, as was I. Every third comment, though, was \"There's something in my eye....TEARS!\" etc. etc.\n\nAs someone who doesn't cry about....anything really, especially some internet post, I just want to know if it's genuine. This is purely curiosity, once again, not judging. I've seen these comments on many emotional/sentimental submissions and I can't really tell if it's for real or something along the lines of LOL/ROFL etc.\n\nPlease remember, this is coming from someone who never cries and just wants to understand. Thanks!", "summary": "Do you guys/gals actually cry about stuff on here or are you just conveying how you feel in a hyperbolic way?"} {"id": "t3_dzcq7", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "I think my mind is going through a radical negative change and don't know what it is exactly, how to prevent it, or why it's occurring.", "post": "It all began around mid July, the day I returned from a trip to see my father I had a panic attack. I have never felt any sort of self-doubt or depression throughout my life until this point. I came home ready to handle some problems that have been plaguing me and I decided to relax that night by smoking with some friends and just playing it cool. I was making a joke to a friend about a mess in the living room and I noticed his reaction was not one that would come from receiving a joke. I then began to question my mind.....I thought that my mind was deceiving me. I remember feeling that perhaps the way I acted was completely different than how I felt it was. It felt like without my knowing I was coming off like an ass, and subtly insulting. I lapsed into a negative brainstorm considering the thought that perhaps I have always been negative and ignorant of it.... after this happened I experienced another situation which again left me feeling like I had insulted someone and didn't realize how. This all led to the attack.\n\nThings have been different ever since then. I constantly question my actions in my head. I feel like I am inadequate in social situations now and have experienced a fair amount of anxiety since. I am afraid daily at some point and constantly find myself questioning whether what I said was acceptable or not. It won't go away.\n\nI fear that people notice and never mention anything. I fear that my friends have slowly begun to dislike me and I feel like I've grown apart from a lot of them. My ambition has had a punch to the face as well....It just feels like I'm becoming depressed in the worst way possible and I can't figure out why or how this is happening.\n\nCan anyone help me with this? Or relate at all?\n\nThank you.", "summary": "Had first panic attack after never experiencing anxiety, depression or much stress, now I'm slowly feeling more and more depressed ever since, as if the curtains have been pulled back revealing a nasty image of what my life might be."} {"id": "t3_2px49a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I(m19) go for this girl(f18)?", "post": "Hey this is small haha,\n\nI'm 19 male and she's 18 female\n\nBasically before the fall semester break ended this girl and I met a few weeks prior to it ending and we got off really well from the start. talked daily, talked about morals and values and essentially clicked on everything. We slept together if that's somehow important to this question. Before she left I said have fun with your family, and joked to not forget about me ina teasing way. She told me to text her over break.\n\nShe went home, i texted her asking how her flight was and told her to text me sometime and she said sure ! wished her good night and all ... 4 days and no text so my question is should I text her or nah? Either shes playing games or forgot about me lmao...probably forgot about me. before she left she told me she wanted to take her on dates when spring resumed and if a relationship ever formed distance wasn't an issue for her.\n\nTo be honest I'm not in love because i dont know her that well but do have a little \"crush\" on her so I don't want to loose it but is there any point in pursing this or nah?", "summary": "girl and I get along well before semester ends, sleep together and when she leaves for home doesnt text me and she said.. should I text her to keep the connection going or nah?"} {"id": "t3_3qo4jb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with my ex [23 M] for six years, want to get back together because I feel like he's the \"one.\"", "post": "Three months ago, the love of my life packed up a few things, got in his car, and drove across the country back to his home. He also broke up with me with the excuse that \"You can find/ You deserve better.\" \n \n Because of this, I spiraled in my depression that I hid for 2 years so much that I went to Partial Hospitalization \u2026 I know now that it was not his fault, but that what happened was the catalyst into putting my depression and GAD into fun motion. Unfortunately, I had to discharge from the program due to college. My ex does not know about my hospitalization or my diagnosis. \n \n A month after he left, he texted me saying that he wanted nothing to do with the place (where I'm at), or the people there. He hasn't tried to contact me in 2 months and I haven't tried to contact him. Started working out religiously, changed my hair, went to a convention, and working on getting my meds situated. I know it's gonna be a long time till I get my mental health under control, but I can't help but WANT HIM BACK. There was no clear reason why he left and he left most of his belongings behind. I know this sounds cliche and stupid, but from the moment we met 6 years ago I knew he was the one I was meant to be with for the rest of my life. I've done everything to convince myself otherwise, and thought that him doing all this would have changed that, but the feelings remains the same. \n\n Should I try to talk to him again? I want to wait until he tries and contacts me but I'm afraid he's waiting for me to make the first move. I'm sorry this whole situation makes no sense and is super confusing. Super sorry for such a long post, I'm just lost and want him back.", "summary": "Lost boyfriend of 6 years almost 4 months ago, haven't talked to him in 2 months. Should I make the first move to contact him? If so, how should I go about it?"} {"id": "t3_32zzc6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [M 19], Girlfriend [F 19] My girlfriend asked me if I watched porn and I said yes. She is very upset and is crying. I don't know what to do.", "post": "Gf and I have been dating for 7 months. My girlfriend was talking to me about how she feels that I am not completely honest with her. I always tell her I find her to be the most attractive woman I know. She never really believes that (even though it is absolutely true). I tell her how beautiful and sexy she is constantly and mean every word of it. She never really believes any of it deep down because she has self-esteem issues. I try very hard to make her feel good about herself, every compliment I give is from the bottom of my heart. She decided to test me and show me a picture of a naked women. She showed me the picture and felt that I was partially hard and she seemed offended. \n\nShe said that she did not believe I found her the most attractive because I got partially hard to this girl in the picture. She then said that she never really believes the compliments I give her and that I lie. She then asked if I have watched porn recently and I told her I have, once or twice. She became very upset and started to cry. She told me that the thought of me getting off to another woman made her extremely upset with me. \n\nI am trying to see her point of view but I told her that if she were to get off to another guy in porn I would not care very much. She said she did not feel like being here anymore (here being my dorm), and she then ran into the shower crying. I am typing this as she is in the shower and am worried and don't know what to do. I wish that she would trust me but it seems to be almost impossible. I feel like she might want to break up with me over this (although hopefully it is not that extreme). I don't know what to do and need advice to help her trust me and I need to find a way to let her see that watching a little porn does not mean I don't find her attractive. I am sorry if this is badly written, I am typing this in a panic.\n\nI also would like to know if I am in the wrong for watching porn and if she is right?", "summary": "I watched porn, girlfriend is very upset about it, does not believe I find her attractive. Am I a bad boyfriend for watching porn? What can I do to help her trust my compliments?"} {"id": "t3_1hebcm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[26M] with my friend[22M/F] of about 6 monts, trying to bring things back the way it was..", "post": "We both work together, and I consider her a good friend. The past couple of months I started to feel something for her. I really admire her. She's smart, up beat, great personality, hard working, and overall she makes me want to be a better person.\n\n I got her number, and we would text like crazy. And at work, we would talk about all kinds of things. It was overall fun.\n\n I later would ask if she wanted to go anywhere, like get coffee or something, and she would say she was busy. Then a month ago I asked if she wanted to go to the movies and she says \"sure as friends\". In a way, I felt bad, but did my best to just accept it. (hey, maybe she will get to know me better atleast). \n\n So far we haven't gone, I only brought it up during her time off from school, but she seems to be always busy. \n\n At the same time, it just started to feel like we're getting distant. We talk, and she no longer looks at me, texting has been one sided(where I initiate), and mostly her side is reduced to one word answers. She no longer looks for me to talk to.\n\n Overall, I miss my friend, I have feelings for her, and I think she might suspect that. I'm trying to let it go, and I just want to hit the reset button and bring back things to the way they were. \n\n I'm hurting and I'm frustrated. I felt like I mattered and now I feel like I'm losing her and right now she's the closest friend I got.\n\n I just want her to realize that I am not looking to make this more than a friednship, and want her to know that I consider her my closest friend(between you redditors and I, i would love to for it to be more than what it is, but I don't think it's worth losing her completely).", "summary": "Have a good friend that I secretly like, I really value our friendship and am worried that she can see how I feel so we have become somewhat distant."} {"id": "t3_43qpp4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [32 M] with my Wife [28 F] of 2 years - with a baby on the way - Birthday Gift Expectations.", "post": "So my wife and I are high income earners - but we come from humble backgrounds, so only on rare occasion do we buy each other expensive gifts. For example, her engagement ring was $36,000.00 - but her Christmas gift last year was $300.00. \n\nMost of our gifting for each other's birthday's and christmas's are in the $300 - $500 range. On rare occasion, we will buy more expensive gifts. \n\nSo this year, my wife, for her birthday, wanted a full day spa retreat. Thus, for her birthday gift, I bought her a full day spa retreat package - last about 8 hours - cost of $400.00 before tip (which of course, I will pay).\n\nAs her birthday approaches, my wife has been also been dropping hints that she has been eyeing a particular designer bag. \n\nSo my question is simple - what are my wife's birthday expectations? Is she expecting the purse in addition to the spa retreat? Or is she just letting me know for perhaps valentine's day? I just want to make sure I don't let her down.", "summary": "My wife's birthday is coming up and I'm not sure if she is expecting a gift in addition to the \"gift\" of a day at the spa."} {"id": "t3_4fqil9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[20f] brother[15m] has the worst BO I have smelled in my entire life and refuses to fix it.", "post": "My brother has always had issues with hygiene, he's always just sort of smelled bad and never cared about washing himself or the things he uses. Sure, when he goes swimming for a while or actually uses soap in the shower it isn't too bad, but he rarely does. He smells bad ALL THE TIME. My parents chastise him constantly for this and every time he's faced with the issue he just does the typical \"Yeah yeah. Okay. Yeah.\" response, pretty obvious he doesn't care. He basically only ever washes himself when we're visiting family (i.e. staying at someone else's house). I've tried to actually sit him down and talk to him, I just get the same response.\n\nNow I feel bad emphasizing this but he smells so bad to the point of me not inviting anyone over anymore, because the smell just hits you like a brick when you enter the house. I burn lots of candles in my room & the window is constantly open because I really like fresh air (yes even in the winter heh), and I notice the difference as soon as I leave it even just to cross the hall to the bathroom. It's so bad he leaves a scent trail with him, you can always tell where he just was or where he is just by smelling him. He also rarely uses soap or anything in the shower, he'll step fresh out of the shower and still smell absolutely horrid, often into already dirty clothing. He's 15 and has to be reminded that he can't wear dirty clothes multiple times. Like his hygiene is just terrible. Doesn't even always wash his hands, I never eat anything he touches and sanitize the hell out of doorknobs and handles.\n\nHe really doesn't seem to care whatsoever that he's single-handedly stinking up the entire house and he has the basic hygiene of a toddler, and I have no idea how to make him see it. My parents can't make him see it, kindly speaking to him about it won't change anything, it's insane. No matter what, he just doesn't give a shit. I am at my wits end and I know my parents are too, just no idea what to do.", "summary": "Brother smells like a hundred corpses, is very much aware of this, yet doesn't care and won't bathe properly."} {"id": "t3_uxhiz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is he no longer interested,or am I just being needy? What can I do?", "post": "I apologize in advanced as I am not very good at gathering my thoughts.\n\nFirst some details:My boyfriend(20) and I(f19) have been together for almost 1.5 years. We met on the chanz. We have been incredibly happy. We do have the occasional argument,the most serious ones being about me not able to spend the night with him(I come from a very strict and conservative Hispanic family.) or being able to see each other(neither of us have cars and very limited funds for public transportation.) But other than that I can say that we do love each other very very much. He has body dysmorphic disorder and I have borderline personality disorder and self-worth issues. He's also been to several rehabilitation centers/hospitals for drug addiction. I only have done therapy for my bpd.\n\nThe Problem:Boyfriend recently moved out of his parents house and into a sober living home. He decided that he can no longer come down to see me because the area that I live in is very triggering for him(it's not a very nice area and he would get drugs from this area). He also says that he feels \"bored\",not with our relationship,but in that he feels he has accomplished nothing in life. He says that I deserve much better than him,I am \"too good\" for him. He makes me happier than I have ever been and he saved me from my depression.\n\nThe Question:Since he has moved out,we don't talk as much. He is pretty busy with work/house meetings/groups/NA meetings,etc. I also feel that he hasn't been as \"lovey\"(I can't think of another way to say this) as he once was,and I've been feeling pretty neglected.Of course my bpd makes me think very black&white so I begin to have thoughts of \"he doesn't love me,he found someone better,I am terrible girlfriend,etc,etc\". **Has he lost interest in me? Is it normal for me to feel neglected? Am I being needy? Should I just give him space? Or should I just talk to him?", "summary": "Boyfriend has moved into sober house,we don't speak as much and I feel as if I am being needy."} {"id": "t3_2m0kmb", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "[NSV] I No Longer Feel Ashamed At The Supermarket", "post": "Before I started losing weight my trolley would be full of cake, biscuits, cheese, all the ~~good stuff~~! I'd be walking round the Supermarket embarrassed for people to look into my trolley. I still eat some of these occasionally obviously but now I limit it considerably.\n\nAnyway, usually at the Check-Out the attendant would be beeping all the biscuits through etc, and even though they're friendly, you know they are quietly judging you. I always felt that way anyway, that could have just been my mental shame.\n\nToday, I was at the check-out and the girl at the counter said 'You're so healthy with all this veg, you're putting me to shame, right before Christmas too!'. I felt so proud of myself .\n\nJust wanted to share this with you all because I feel like someone on here might have had 'supermarket shame'.", "summary": "I used to pile my trolley with crap, now it's full of meat and veg. Feels good."} {"id": "t3_4vojyd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22M] just came back home to my [23F] gf of 5 years after visiting family for a and she has moved another guy into our room. My roomates are supporting it.", "post": "I live in California, and went to visit my family for a month after not seeing them for years and my girlfriend stayed behind at our shared apartment. We had been going through a rough patch and had talked about a break shortly before I left to come back to my apartment, but had made plans for things to do together and how to get back on the right track when I returned. I never heard any different until I walked into my apartment and she told me she was with someone else and he was staying there some. Last night my first night back I went to go sleep after this news and the drive and he was in my room, my now ex told me that I have to go somewhere else even though I've paid my portion of the rent, and my friends/room mates have been apologetic to me, but supported it because \"its what she wants\" and because he had apparently paid rent as well. I arrived late and was hit by these bombshells and now I don't know where to go or what to do. The whole life I had built seems gone, and she is showing no sign of remorse. She also led me along to send her money while I was away and set it up for us to attend a festival, which included tickets and renting a car.\n\nWe've always seemed good together and I'm completely blindsighted that she could even do something like this. Any advice on how to deal with the situation, get my room back. Find another place to stay or just not have a mental brakedown would be appreciated.", "summary": "Just got back home after a month away. Was being strung along and arrived to another guy living in my room with my gf, room mates haven't been supportive and I have no idea what to do."} {"id": "t3_3r575p", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/M] and my girlfriend [20/f] hooked up with my best friend after we broke up but now we're back together. Should I break up with her?", "post": "I started dating this girl at my university last Spring. We mutually and amicably decided that we wouldn't be together over the summer but possibly pick back up in the fall. Over the summer she had sex with my best friend [20/M]. We got back together in September but now I can't get the image of them two out of my head. I know we weren't together but I feel very disrespected and broken-hearted that they did this and I'm having a hard time getting past it. I'm starting to think that maybe we should break up. Am I in the wrong for thinking this way? How should I address this situation?", "summary": "I dated this girl last spring, we broke up for the summer and she had sex with my best friend. Now we're back together but I feel upset that she did that and I don't know if I should continue dating her."} {"id": "t3_4zjkx2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 F] with my nice neighbor [30s F] of a few months, how do I get her to stop smoking in her driveway?", "post": "Hi there, any advice would be much appreciated! My neighbors (a couple in their 30s with a toddler) moved in a few months ago. They are a huge upgrade from my previous neighbor, who made it her personal mission to make sure nobody parked on our street. Anyways, all is fine with these neighbors; they're quiet, friendly, and normal in general. I don't talk to them much, just a simple \"hello\" or \"how are you?\" if we bump into each other outside.\n\nHowever, the woman smokes in her driveway every few hours, every day, and it blows in through my side patio door right into my dining room where I spend a lot of time working or just hanging out. She obviously has every right to smoke on her property, but I have tons of allergies so having my house smell like cigarette smoke every few hours isn't great for me. \n\nIs there any way I can go about addressing this issue with her without ruining our friendly/hands-off neighborly relationship? Do I have any right to ask her to smoke elsewhere? I really don't want to inconvenience her, and I'm sure she has no idea her smoke is blowing into my house, but I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with my house smelling like smoke.", "summary": "My neighbor smokes in her driveway and it blows into my house, causing it to smell like an ash tray. How can I address this issue with her without ruining our friendly neighborly relationship?"} {"id": "t3_2v2qcv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my fwb [26F] 4 years, cheating? Should I really care?", "post": "So I have been in a 'forbidden' relationship with this girl who has a relationship back in her country. We are amazing friends who are also friends with benefits, for the last 4 years, while I was (and still am) single.\nLast week we met a guy from school, and all three of us became friends, however I can see when I take a glimpse at her phone (not staring, not spying) that she is always exchanging facebook messages with him. When we hang out, when we study, when we lie down, when we cook, eat etc. \n\nNow, a girl who already has a relationship and 'forbidden' friend with benefits wouldnt be talking to a new guy 24/7. But here's the twist: Last night when I stayed over, she was really cold, and this morning when I asked whats wrong, she said she wants to stop doing this 'fwb' thing cos she feels bad about her boyfriend (they've been together many years). \n\nWhat are the chances that she really meant that, I mean, if she has her bf convinced that they are together for so long, and having me aside, whats stopping her from convincing ME that she no longer wants to do it?\n\nIt feels weird, cos this is a person I trust a lot (and she proved it several times that she's honest with me) \n\nAt the end of the day I always knew this had no future and was just for the fun of it, but still doesn't feel nice to be kicked out the moment a new guy is introduced. Should I care?", "summary": "forbidden relationship draws to an end, no idea if its cos of the new guy she became friends with. Should I really care?"} {"id": "t3_oq7dy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Broke my best friend's heart. What do I do to make this split a little easier on us?", "post": "My best friend (18M) and I (18F) have grown a lot closer over the past couple of months, and it apparently escalated to a bit more on his side. I have a boyfriend who I love very much, and I have no intentions of leaving him. The other day, I told my best friend that I wouldn't leave my current boyfriend. I feel like I completely broke his heart, and I feel awful for it. I have no way of avoiding him as we have classes together all the time, and I don't know that I even want to avoid him in the first place. I'm afraid that this will send him back into a depression (for which he's already on medication). Are there any thing I can do to make this easier on the both of us? Has anyone else gone through this before and wants to share the story? I need words of encouragement to stay strong and not guilt myself into giving him everything he wants just because I feel bad for what I've done to him.", "summary": "Broke my best friend's heart. Both of us are upset over it. What do I do to make things a little easier on the two of us?"} {"id": "t3_cym0x", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I feel completely helpless! I need advice.", "post": "This is a little somber but I am really at a loss here. This is about my Mother. My Mother has helped me and several other people during some really dark times. My Mother is the kind of person that would help anyone in need if was within her means and maybe even when it's not. I call her when I am going through my own crap in life and she's there as a positive light that gets me through it. \n\nWe have all heard the saying the bad things happen to good people but my Mother does not deserve this. In the last 3 years she has dealt with the loss of her young niece (my cousin), an ugly divorce from my Father, an abusive evil manipulating asshole ex that practically took her money and house along with ruining her credit and the serious sickness of her Father (my Grandfather). She is raising my youngest brother alone. All her children, including me are spread out hundreds of miles away from each other. She loves us more than anything; she tells us almost on a daily basis. \n\nOut of all the mess in her life, she did find someone that loved her and took care of her. This was her boyfriend who from what I can tell she's in love with. They have been dating for about 3 years now. He passed away last night very unexpectedly of a heart attack. To say my Mother is devastated is a gross understatement. \n\nRight now my Mother needs me more than ever. Like I said before she is separate from her kids. I live in Texas and she lives in California. I am a 25 year old broke college student. What do I say? How do I comfort her from afar? What can I do? I have never seen her like this (or heard since everything was over the phone). I just don't know what to do.", "summary": "My Mother is like a saint and has gone through dark very times. Had a boyfriend to help cope through those times and he passed away very unexpectedly. We are states apart. How do I comfort her from far away?"} {"id": "t3_2ghq05", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "BF (27/m) broke up with me (25/f) after I moved across the country with him. What next?", "post": "Hey, all:\n\nMy sweet Navy boyfriend asked me to move from WA to SC with him last December, and when we finally left in May of this year, I was so excited to start a life with him. I'd only ever lived in WA, and was so excited to see another part of the country and see what life was like outside of the Northwest. He broke up with me a month after we got here, and I am so glad that I worked so hard on finding a job and getting my shit together. He wants to be friends, but I'm still so heartbroken about this whole thing that I can't handle talking to him without trying to get some answers about this huge change of heart...on the wrong side of the trip. Is there any hope for getting back together? Am I being so foolish for even thinking that I should try and get with someone who practically abandoned me, not knowing anyone, 3000 miles away?", "summary": "Dude waited until the other side of the country to get relationship jitters or figure out I wasn't for him: am I dumb for wanting to get back together with him?"} {"id": "t3_33zpw5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 M] have been with my GF [21 F] for three years, 1 in long distance, may not see each other again for years", "post": "We've met each other where I am currently living (she lived here too) and developed a happy relationship. We were friends through high school and a few years into college, in 2012, we hooked up and it stayed that way since then. \n\nIn early 2014 her father had to relocate due to his job and her whole family had to go to a city 5000 km away. We live in Brazil, I live in Porto Alegre (extreme south) and she now lives in Boa Vista (extreme north). We didn't break up or anything at the time because we really like each other and she was supposed to to come back in 2016 and during college breaks we could visit each other.\n\nLast month she told me her father is not comming back, neither is she. Also, we both can't visit this year because of many reasons (I study mechanical engineering and recently got a job in a big company). So it may take years since we see each other again.\n\nI like VERY much, but since the day she told me that it may take a few years for she to come back, I've been doubting where this relationship is going. I truly like her, but I don't think I love her anymore. It is really confusing to me, on one side I really care for her and want to be with her but on the other side I am kind of accepting the fact that we won't be able to see each other again and I'm ready to let each of us go our ways.\n\nI think I need an external opinion on this, any advice would be helpful.\nSorry for the bad english, it is my second language.", "summary": "GF is living on the other side of the country and may take years to come back, we both can't visit at the moment and I'm starting to question my feelings for her."} {"id": "t3_2x05kh", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I think I payed my credit card with someone else's bank account help!", "post": "So earlier this month I opened a CFNA credit card with STS to pay for a repair I had done on my car. I went ahead to pay off the debt once I got the money. Online payment for CFNA requires the bank account and routing numbers. For days after I submitted the payment I was wondering why my account balance wasn't changing. When I went to check my CFNA account I found that the payment did go through but it was not from my account. I had messed up the account number and it appears I may have taken money from someone else.", "summary": "I went to pay my credit card with my money. I mistyped the last 4 digits of the number and apparently the number I put in was a valid account that isn't mine."} {"id": "t3_3k4xzo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I think my ex girlfriend [18] was secretly seeing someone else but wasn't honest enough to tell me when she broke up with me [M 21 ] Should I say something if i am certain she is?", "post": "Girlfriend broke up with me last night. Usual cliche text. 'i'm not a relationship person. 'you'll find someone better than me'. She said we didn't click, and that she wasn't happy with me. Was all very sudden and I'm still surprised.\n\nHowever there's been a few interesting revelations which may explain a few things if confirmed true to me.\n\nShe used to work during the summer at her uncle's metal part factory. There was a guy there my age she always used to work with and talk to there. Her gran always used to try and get this guy to go out with her. Naturally at the time I laughed with it, thought it was a bit of harmless banter and all.\nHowever I found out the night before she broke up with me she had this guy round her place, and they hanged out for the night.\n\n It was her grandad's birthday too, so they had family members round. And she had him over for dinner. But not me\nThey recently added eachover on facebook today\n\nNow it's either a pretty awful coincidence. Or she actually was seeing this guy and didn't have the honestly to tell me straight that she was.\nI know some of you might not see this as being too bad.But for me, i if this is true, I feel like I have been lied to. She didn't tell me the honest truth\nNot to mention making me feel incredibly angry.\nWhat should I do if I can confirm she is seeing this guy?", "summary": "girlfriend broke up with me very suddenly. Had a guy she knows at work round her places the night before. Feel like she wasn't honest enough to tell me she was seeing someone else."} {"id": "t3_4b3s65", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Need advice on my college path", "post": "I have an AA degree and recently transferred to a university. I applied to major in English with a specialization in creative writing and got in but I realized I wanted to major in a STEM degree, more specifically computer science or engineering. The college im at won't let me because I don't have the pre reqs. So now im going to be stuck at an overpriced university doing a non STEM degree which i dont think the money ill be paying is worth it. My long term goals after college is to be able to work from home and start a business. My original plan with the English degree was to write scripts for movies with a friend mine who is finishing his degree in film studies. Like i said before, i don't know if an English degree at this university will be worth it.", "summary": "University im at is expensive. English degree might not be worth the loans and debt. Wanting to do STEM field major. Should i go to community college and get those pre reqs in?"} {"id": "t3_1hs5ur", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[19/F] cheated on my boyfriend of 10 months [22/M] and I feel incredibly conflicted.", "post": "[19/F] cheated on my boyfriend of 10 months [22/M] and I feel incredibly conflicted.\n\nI've been dating him for 10 months. We love each other a lot and don't have a bad relationship. The past few weeks though, we haven't gotten along as well. We live together and we're stressed about money/paying rent. He goes out of town 2-3 days a week for work, which used to really make me mad. \n\nThen I met someone [47, M]. I cheated on my boyfriend with this man I just met. It's happened twice now.\n\nHe's very into health and wants to improve my quality of life. He gives me money so I can afford quality food and a bike to get to my job, etc. It's not for sex, though there's probably at least some correlation there.\n\nI need the money. And the sex involves all of the things that my boyfriend is unwilling or unable to give me. As in, we've talked about them, and it just doesn't happen.\n\nI don't want to stop seeing this new guy, because I need the money and he's helping me become healthier and fitter and the sex is really good. It helps me in ways that therapy doesn't.\n\nOn the other hand, I really care about my boyfriend and don't want to lose him. I think if I told him, he would definitely either break up with me, or force me to end things with the other guy. I wish I could tell him that I think I need to see other people, but I know he won't go for that.\n\nWhat should I do? Feel free to ask my questions, because this is a complicated situation.", "summary": "Cheated on my bf with older man, now I feel trapped because I don't want to lose either relationship, and there's money involved."} {"id": "t3_28ovz4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Naive lady seeking your dating advice", "post": "Hi there! I'm a 22 year old girl who recently started seeing a 26 year old dude and desperately need your sound opinions! \n\nWe've only been seeing each other about 3 weeks but it's has been pretty serious from the get go. We talk everyday and FaceTime just about every night because he lives an hour away. He's really been working hard to get me to trust him because I have issues with trust which has resulted in me never having a serious relationship before; hence why I need all of your advice :) \n\nThis last Wednesday was my birthday and he was scheduled to come up and take me out to dinner. I told him it wasn't necessary because I'm not the kind of girl who expects that sort of thing, but he insisted. He called me on Tuesday to cancel because he got a call about a job interview. I totally understood and we made plans to see each other Friday. Thursday rolls around and I text him in the afternoon to find out about the interview, no response. I call him later that evening, no return phone call. I send another text asking if everything is okay, no response. Today (Friday) I send him another text after seeing he had shared some story on Facebook and told him good luck with everything in the future and still no response. I don't understand what happened. Why work on gaining my trust only to end things by not speaking to me? Is silence a hint as I was thinking? Was I too quick to tell him good luck with everything? \n\nAll advice welcome.", "summary": "I started seeing a new guy very seriously and now he's gone completely silent and won't return my calls or texts."} {"id": "t3_1k7gxo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (17F) boyfriend (18M) has seemed to have shut down lately...", "post": "He's just become very... mechanical. We've been friends for about 3 years now, and we've been together for about 3 months (not a very long time, I know.) I think we're reaching the point where everything is settling down in the relationship. It's lost some excitement.\n\nNow don't get me wrong, I still absolutely want to be with him and we still love each other, but I'm just beginning to feel neglected. He isn't as sweet as he used to be, doesn't compliment me like he used to, and it's nearly impossible to hear him say \"I love you\" without being prompted. He'll be sitting at the computer on Reddit or something and I'll ask him to come sit with me on the couch, but most of the time he won't anymore (or I have to practically drag him from the computer to get him to.) He hardly ever holds my hand or puts his arm around me anymore unless I initiate it, and it's just a bunch of things like these that make me feel unwanted.\n\nThat being said, when he's not acting like this our relationship is great and we have really good chemistry. Our sex life is good, we still go out on dates, he's not shy at all about bringing me around his family (hell, I'm pretty much part of the family by now,) and we're just all around happy together.\n\nBut any time I try to bring up his neglectfulness, he always counters it with \"no, I did xyz the other day\" (referring to one of his \"nice\" bouts.) And I can't argue with it... Or at least I don't know how to. It's more of a general feeling that specific instances, so it's hard to come up with specific examples. He always asks for proof to back up my feelings/opinion on the subject.\n\nSo how do I get him to understand what is happening? How can I rekindle the initial feelings from the beginning of the relationship?", "summary": "My boyfriend has become increasingly mechanical and neglectful lately, and has a hard time believing me when I point it out. How can I fix this?"} {"id": "t3_1oryk5", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Can I train for a marathon with cross-training twice a week?", "post": "I'm considering doing a marathon in April, but I'm wondering whether I can continue doing capoeira twice a week while I train. Here's my deal: Mondays and Fridays I do capoeira, and Sundays and every other Friday I do the hash (tamer European version though, so I can get away with just one post-run beer). I'm wondering whether only 4 runs a week (assuming I take a real rest day), one of which is the hash, could be enough for marathon training. That would give me one hash, one long run, and just two normal runs per week. That wouldn't even be 30mi at first.\n\nMy current level: standard run is a 10k at around 52:00 (fastest is a 48:00), longest run I've ever done is a half marathon (not in a race, just ran 13.1 mi on my own). So I'm an ok runner, but I still haven't crossed over into being truly serious about it.", "summary": "With a few days a week devoted to cross-training or non-serious running, could a decent runner still train for a marathon in six months?"} {"id": "t3_2hb894", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I might have gotten a girl pregnant at 16 3 days ago.", "post": "First of all, this is a throwaway. Don't need any of my friends learning about this. So this weekend, I went to a party and towards the end, a girl I knew for a long time have a slight hint she might want to have sex with me. I didn't really get that so I walked off. A few minutes later, people start coming up to me and asking if I am gay because I turned her down. I said no and figured the only way to show that I wasn't gay was to have sex with her. \n So skip ahead to the room and I don't have a condom, so a friend brings up a condom and we get to work. Skip ahead towards the end where I wasn't really sure if I nutted or not because of how drunk I was. We continue for another 10 minutes until something comes up. Not due to me, she rushes out and leaves in a hurry. Now i am not 100% sure whether or not the condom broke or some love juice slipped out after I may or may not have nutted. I don't know if she took the morning after pill. I am desperate for some advice on what I should do at this point.", "summary": "Had sex, not sure if I nutted, and may have gotten her(16 also) pregnant. Need advice on what I should do."} {"id": "t3_2bztx6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [25/m] trying to ask out this girl [27/f] that i met through a friend... but not sure if she has a bf", "post": "we hung out a few times in a group and a few of those times, we were left 1 on 1 at the end of the night and we got along pretty well. she went away for the weekend so i told her i'd like to have dinner with her this week (after she returned). she agreed and told me to call her to plan something. \n\nnow my problem is; while she was away on vacation, she posted a lot of pictures with this one guy... nothing that made it so obvious that they are dating but enough for me to question whether or not i should be asking her to dinner. i feel like maybe she will think its dinner as friends? although im clearly trying to ask her out on a date to get to know eachother... but if she has a boyfriend i feel like i would just end up looking stupid. what do i do? do i back off or ask her to dinner and during the dinner ask if shes seeing someone..?", "summary": "supposed to ask this girl out to dinner this week but not sure if she has a boyfriend. if she does, i would look stupid taking her out..."} {"id": "t3_49d2d2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(Update) My(22F)Bestfriend(22F) told my fiance(23M) she loved him. He hid it from me.", "post": "It's been a while! Reading my last post I felt a bit ashamed over my reaction and it seems like such a long time ago.\n\nSo basically my best friend is out of my life...Turns out she had tried contacting my fiance to hang out when we weren't on speaking terms. I felt really betrayed and decided there was no point even trying to speak with her. She won't be attending the wedding either.\nMy fiance and I had a long talk in which I explained to him it was really the fact that he kept a secret with her, and didn't let me make an informed decision on who are my friends that hurt me. I apologized for my behaviour and we decided on some premarital counselling in order for me to learn not to shut him out when I am angry and not hold onto resentment, as well as getting better at communicating. We are getting married in August, however I am currently two months pregnant! The baby wasn't scheduled but we are financially stable enough to welcome it, so I guess we are just starting our family earlier than planned.\n Luckily I will graduate in May, I'm a bit upset about not being able to wear the wedding dress I wanted but that's superficial. Otherwise we are both excited about our first baby coming and still happy and in love.\n\nThanks for the advice from last time.", "summary": "My fiance and I reconciled. I lost my best friend as she took her chance with my fiance. We are pregnant and happy."} {"id": "t3_oxh5l", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Is there a way to still be friends?", "post": "Me (18) and my Gf (18) have been going out for almost four years- since year 10. We are going to different schools at opposite ends of the country, and are both pretty neurotic/the jealous type so we have (wisely imo) decided to end it.\n\nI've seen other serious relationships go totally down the toilet because of long distance issues, and people who used to be best friends end up not able to exist in the same room together.\n\nI really love her, and all I want is to still maintain a functioning friendship with her, and perhaps when we finish our courses if the timing's right, we could get back together... Essentially what i'd like to know is is it possible to maintain a functioning friendship after so long together?", "summary": "Me and GF of nigh on 4 years have mutually decided to break up for convenience. Is a functioning friendship possible?"} {"id": "t3_3teex1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [26 M] boyfriend broke up with me [25 F] boyfriend unexpectedly. Help me with what to say to get some closure.", "post": "People of Reddit please help me with what to say. So almost a month ago my boyfriend broke up with me. We had been dating for 5 months. \n\nSome backstory: We met when I was at Uni and he lives in Sydney and I in Melbourne. At first I thought the distance wouldn't work but we spoke every day and I frequently traveled to Sydney for my course. He traveled down to Melbourne also. I met his sister and all his Sydney friends. We had never had a fight. Everything seemed to be going perfect. Then one day he came home and said 'I don't see a future' 'this isn't working'. I told him if it was the distance I was planning to move to Sydney since I also had a job opportunity. He said it would change things and he had made up his mind. \n\nIt was such a surprise, there were no warning signs and it seemed to just come out of nowhere. It has really broken my heart. I am trying really hard to move on but I keep thinking what was the 'real' reason he suddenly changed his mind. I haven't spoken to him since two days after the breakup when I returned to Melbourne. \n\nI know there wasn't another woman, the sex was amazing, we got along incredibly well. I'm going to contact him via facebook chat.", "summary": "I want to know why he did it. What should I stay to start a conversation that would help me get some piece of mind. "} {"id": "t3_1gre5r", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by pissing on my friends shorts.", "post": "Well not today, but more like a year ago.... hell you don't care.\n\nSo i used to have a huge fear of the dark when i was 14. No biggy right? Wrong!\n\n I have a decent group of friends that skate like me and one of them asked me over to hang out. Ended up staying over but didn't bring anything to sleep in so i asked him for some sleep shorts.\n\nWell it was all fine and dandy till it was 2 in the morning and everyone was asleep.\n\nI had to piss.\n\n Now my greatest fear is trying to find the bathroom in a friends house in the middle of the night, but at the time i was to scared to so i decided to piss right there in the shorts he gave me. So there i am 14 scared of the dark with my snoring friend one bump in the night away from seeing me urinating all over his basketball shorts. I almost cried. Luckily I maned(?) up and fixed it by (while peeing) by taking the shorts off and using them or suck up all the pee. I put on my jeans and went to the bathroom. Threw the shorts in the bathroom trash can and set out to his room to lay back down and hope it all goes smooth in the morning.\n\nIt did and we had eggs. I still slightly smelled of but covered it up with axe bodyspray(we were 14). \n\nI have grown [alot] since then and have been invited to his house many of times and it had gone off without a hitch.", "summary": "Was to pussy to go upstairs to my friends bathroom so instead pissed on the shorts he gave me but did clean i up."} {"id": "t3_1k4nc2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[26F] Where is the line between 'easy' and 'frank'? Pursuing a man of few words...", "post": "Hey all, thanks for reading.\n\nI've been getting to know a guy online for a few weeks now and am really starting to like him enough to someday invest in a trip to meet him. I would just like some guy's perspective (or women who have been in my shoes) on his communication style, and how I may be being perceived.\n\nBackground: We first did private messaging, and then emails, and then texting, and have had one phone call. In the emails (one every few days) he would call me beautiful, doll, things like that, and in general put some thought in to them as they were a few paragraphs long and staying on-topic in a back-and-forth conversation. I enjoyed the phone call but could tell he was kind of a dominating conversationalist, which didn't bother me. Texting, he disregards things completely, and hasn't been affectionate at all. And, no 2nd phone call or skyping... just texting.\n\nSince he's a very straight-forward guy and owes me no niceities, I know if he *didn't* like chatting with me it would be really easy to stop doing so. I don't need to be constantly dosed with affection - responding to me and continuing to communicate with me clearly shows something. Frankly, too much affection comes across as clingy - this all probably contributes to why I'm really starting to like this guy.\n\nIn addition to this - a bit about me: I've never been afraid to tell a guy that I like him, and I'm quite frank about it. I am really picky when it comes to choosing a guy I like, but once I do, I make it very clear what I'm after. Some guys have told me that this comes across as being easy, whereas others say they like the clarity and that I don't beat around the bush or play games. Sometimes, with this guy, I feel I just need to cool my damn jets and leave some things to the imagination. I've been out of the dating game for quite a while and I don't want to come across as needy or pestering.", "summary": "Am communicating regularly with a guy I met online who is a man of few words but honest and frank. How should I best manage my forthcoming fliratious self without scaring him off?"} {"id": "t3_1jfyrk", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My boss just installed a bunch of cameras where I work and none of us employers are very happy about it. How can we mess with her without being fired?", "post": "I work at a very small business, and in the gift shop our boss recently installed a bunch of \"security\" cameras. I would understand if they were meant for security and were only used as such, but they are not. She often comes in from her office to rant and rave about how we were dusting a particular spot wrong, and other petty things. She is quite the control freak and I am tired of feeling like the protagonist of George Orwell's *1984* every time I walk in the door. Is there anything we can do to have a little fun and not get in trouble for it?\n\nFor the record, we are all a bunch of high school (I'm 19 and just graduated) kids from the area and there is nothing in the shop that we are at risk of stealing (it's mostly rocks). The cameras were intended for \"security purposes\" for when we close down for the winter, but she has access to them on all of her computers as well as on her phone. We also don't want to lose our jobs, so I have no plans of mooning them or anything. Thanks.", "summary": "Control freak boss installs \"security\" cameras that she uses to make her petty self even pettier, and we want to have some fun with it while she is watches us like a hawk."} {"id": "t3_3o7mot", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23] \"cheated\" my \"girlfriend\" [26 F] Now I'm devastated.", "post": "Hello everybody!\n\nAs the title says, I cheated on my so called \"girlfriend\" with a mutual friend of ours. Me and my \"girlfriend\" have been dating and having sex etc for 4 months now. But she does not want to go official with our relationship.\n\nShe went for a one month holiday to her home country and she has been there a week now. Yesterday I got drunk with my friends and met our mutual friend in the club, we went to her place after the party and had worst sex of my life. After that I told the girl that never ever talk about this with anyone or me again.\n\nI don't even know why the hell did i go there, since my girlfriend is hotter and better in every way than our mutual friend. I have accepted that what happened but feeling I'm feeling guilty for doing this. \n\nWe have not talked about having affairs with anyone else, even we are not officially in a relationship, but I'm sure that she hasn't been with anyone else.\n\nNow I'm feeling guilty as hell for doing this, but I'm not sure should I even feel guilty if we are not officially together? Should I tell her, she would probably get mad since she is a hot head, or should I just mind my own business.\n\nPlease help me out guys.", "summary": "Cheated\" on GF with our mutual friend, relationship not official, we have never talked about dating others, feeling guilty for doing this but not sure if I should."} {"id": "t3_40saxo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19F] girlfriend [19F] of a month wants to spend all of our time together, I don't and I'm at loss.", "post": "I've been with my girlfriend Stacy for one month and a half. So far it's going well but she wants us to spend all of our spare time together. She always wants me to come over to her house and sleep there, or she's just at my house. \n\nWe already exchanged \"I love you\". I think I love her, sometimes. But it isn't comparable to the feelings she seems to have for me. She's idealized me and it scares the shit out of me. \n\nWhenever she doesn't see me, she says she doesn't have anything to do with her life, that she has no friends and that I'm \"home\" to her. She also said \"you're my drug\". \n\nThis morning she called me, said she needed to see me, so I asked what was wrong and she answered \"nothing, I just need to see you because I miss you too much\". I can't say I feel the same. \n\nI've already tried to tell her that I need space. She seemed to listen and understand but nothing changed. \n\nI don't know what to do, I care about her and I would like this relationship to work but it can't go on like this.", "summary": "Gf of 1 month wants to see me all the time, I need my personal space and I already tried telling her but it didn't change a thing. I don't know what to do next."} {"id": "t3_259itg", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(23/M) need to move on from feelings for friend, advice?", "post": "Last year I (23/M) struck up a friendship with a married coworker (20s/F). We both had some issues going on in our lives and it felt really good to have someone to talk to. It stayed friendly for a few months until we both admitted that it was starting to become more than a friendship.\n\nNeither of us were interested in having an affair but after another month we started spending a lot of time together. Eventually she felt that we should have some space from each other, which I reluctantly agreed with. Looking back now I see that it was the right decision but at the time it really hurt. I've done my best to keep my distance, but things have been awkward since then because I still feel strongly about her. I know that it's best for her to stay committed to her marriage, but I'm just having a really tough time moving on from how I feel. Any advice is appreciated.", "summary": "Married friend and I developed feelings for each other, ended up hurting our friendship and I'm having a hard time moving on."} {"id": "t3_50o3qj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(21m) girlfriend(24f) says due to her religious beliefs she no longer wants to have sex until marriage.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months. We don't really see each other often because we both work a lot and our schedules conflict quite a bit. We aren't able to be alone all of the time. so through the entire span of our relationship we've had sex probably 10 times...\n\nIt has been like this since the beginning so I got pretty used to it and didn't really complain, however; she went on vacation for a couple of weeks to visit her family back home. She got back yesterday and we were talking about the trip and all that she did.\n\nShe told me that she went to church with her family and that she is now having second thoughts about us having sex and not being married. (She is catholic by the way) I was a little thrown off by the whole thing because obviously I disagree and it pretty much came out of nowhere so I don't like the idea. She said that she hasn't made up her mind about it she just feels guilty about it often. She also said she still believes that when the opportunity presents itself it will probably end up happening anyways.\n\nI am not really sure how to approach this situation. I don't see an issue with us continuing to do what we do but she does and I don't want to pressure her or make her uncomfortable. I am absolutely fine with being in a relationship with her and not having sex if it's what she really wants but this whole thing is making me wonder if there is a deeper meaning to it all. How do I approach this situation. Should I just respect her wishes and patiently wait for years until she is ready again? Or should I just move on?", "summary": "My girlfriend has decided due to her religious beliefs that we shouldn't have sex anymore and the whole thing caught me off guard and it stressing me out quite a bit How do I approach this situation?"} {"id": "t3_1j0cvh", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm a (25/f) gamer. A \"boy\" friend of mine purchased a game for me as a surprise at the end of the summer Steam sale. Why does my boyfriend seem to /not/ care about it?", "post": "My boyfriend knows of this guy, we all went to high school together. I was talking about this game a couple of months ago with my friend and how I was going to wait for it to go on sale before I purchased it.\n\nI ended up purchasing other things during the last big Steam sale. When he had seen that I hadn't purchased it, he bought it for me as a gift.\n\nMy boyfriend and I share a steam account, when I woke up the next morning he was telling me that my friend had purchased me this game. At first, I was waiting for him to question me as to why, he didn't seem to think anything of it.\n\nI can't be certain of my friend's intentions, when I asked why they had purchased it, they said they just had extra money lying around and knew that I wanted it.\n\nIf the situation were reversed, I am pretty sure I would've been pissed.\n\n(It's not that I don't appreciate it, I just question it... because I am biologically hard-wired to do so...)", "summary": "Am I over-reacting and this is a nice thing a nice guy is doing or is my boyfriend under-reacting? :/"} {"id": "t3_18qqb1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Foreign student need advice on choosing a British college.", "post": "I'm a civil engineering student and I've recently applied for a government scholarship program to study abroad at an UK university for an year. Provided I am selected to participate I have to pick 3 universities to apply to. \n\nThe program includes a few months of research and I'll be on my last year of college when I come back, so it would be great if I could pick a college which is strong in the fields of study I'm intending to follow.\n\nI'm inclined towards construction engineering, due to its wide range of applications, different challenges imposed by each new construction and the possibility to work on site. I'm also very interested in environmental issues, so any area related could be a possibility too.\n\nI have been looking through some university rankings and, although they offer a general comparison between the universities and their civil engineering courses, I have the impression they don't provide the specific informations I wanted to know about those institutions.\n\nSo, Reddit, do you know any British college whose civil engineering departments are renowed for/specialized in construction engineering, or any area related to enviromental issues?", "summary": "Want to know which British colleges have civil engineering departments who are renowed for/specialized in construction engineering or any area related to enviromental issues."} {"id": "t3_2ldq1b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 F] with my bf[24 M] 5 years, I'm jealous because he is traveling with some random girl he met", "post": "Boyfriend was traveling for work with a male friend and they decided they'd lengthen the trip to make it a mini vacation. They had planned to do that all along and I was fine with it. Yesterday was the last night of the conference and they met this attractive Brazilian chick who is traveling alone. Well now she is traveling with them until Thursday or Friday. I told him I felt weird about it, especially because he is good looking, and I'm not naive. He says he doesn't even find her that attractive and its not like that anyway. He just thinks she's a really cool person.\n\nI don't know why I'm so upset. He's always been trustworthy but I'm going through this inferiority complex with him lately anyway. I feel like he is better at everything than me, smarter, nicer, more confident, more successful. He's even gotten really good looking in the past year, which sad to say was the only thing I ever thought I had a leg up on him. It's not helping the way I feel. If he thinks she's so cool then she must be cooler than me right? It doesn't help that he is having this crazy adventure (they don't even have a place to stay tonight) and I'm eating lunch at my desk at my boring job. How do I get out of my own head about this. If he's always been trustworthy, do I really have a reason to be concerned?", "summary": "Boyfriend traveling with friend, met attractive girl and they're hanging around with her now. I feel like shit after hearing of this."} {"id": "t3_53vt4c", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "American Guy likes Egyptian Girl", "post": "Made my first Reddit account just for this! Anyways, I am a normal American guy and I have a thing for an Egyptian foreign exchange student in one of my college courses. She is very smart, beautiful, and I think we could get along well. We have a group project together so I will soon to get a lot of face to face time with her to see if she is really someone I would be interested in dating. My question is if it is worth my time actually going after her and what are some key cultural differences that I should be aware of? I'm not afraid of taking risks when it comes to dating but from what I know of Egyptian dating customs, which is VERY limited, people there don't really date in the American sense. It is more of a courtship kind of thing and again I might be completely wrong about this. She seems to practice a more secular version of Islam (no head covering, wears western clothes, ect.) so she may not be that conservative when it comes to dating. I'm not going to rush anything so I'm not going to ask her out anytime within the next two weeks, but with this time I want to try and learn anything I can about an American dating someone from that part of the world. Thanks for the help!", "summary": "American guy likes Egyptian girl and he needs to know some Egyptian cultural dating etiquette so he knows what he is getting into and so he doesn't make a fool out of himself. "} {"id": "t3_2yxsjz", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [20/F] really like my friend [19/F] and I don't know if I should talk to her about it", "post": "So about 6 months ago, my friend [19/F] told me she really liked me and it's lasted for about a year. She wanted me to know and was wondering if we should pursue anything. I told her I didn't like her like that (which I didn't at the time), and we haven't talked about it since.\n\nI started having feelings for her about 2 months after that conversation, and I haven't said anything. For some reason, it's really been getting to be recently. I am extremely upset (no idea why) and I'm just constantly crying and it's bringing my mood down. \n\nFriends among friends gossip, and I've been told she still likes me. I'm a very pessimistic person, so I don't believe she does. I'm terrified to ask her, but I think that it might make me feel better if I did, just to know whether she does or not.", "summary": "I have a massive crush on my friend, but I'm terrified to approach her, even though she has told me before she likes me. Help?"} {"id": "t3_33enn7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by meeting a girl whilst drunk", "post": "One of my friends is in a punk band called Local Douche and this Saturday they had a release of their cassette and held a release party in celebration. While watching the first band, I saw a girl in front of me who was about an inch taller than me. She kept looking over at the girl next to her who I presumed was her girlfriend, so I paid her no mind.\n\nDuring the third band, I had moved to be by the speaker and was kinda chilling there doing my own thing. Every once in a while I'd look away from the band and find her looking at me. This happened about 5-7 times, and once the band was finished, I approached her. In my approach she began to smile, so I went in with confidence, and offered her my number, which she enthusiastically took. I told her my name, and she told me hers. Then I had to leave with my roommates. She immediately sent me a text so I texted back, but the thing is, I never input any contact info. I figured I could put it in later and just left the venue.\n\nHere is where I fucked up. Once I got out of the venue, I realized, I didn't remember her name anymore. Not wanting to be awkward in asking I simply continued to text her and make plans for the following day, hopefully she'd bring up her name. I all else fails, I could ask for her name on Facebook.\n\nWe hang out for a few hours, she never mentions her name, but she does mention that she in fact doesn't have a Facebook. So here I am, and all that I can hope for is that I get to introduce her to someone before I actually need to know her name.", "summary": "I met a girl at a cassette release party, gave her my number, and forgot her name, never to return."} {"id": "t3_1flivw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "F(20) m (25) I had an abortion six months ago and he still has not repaid me.", "post": "M-25 steady income F- 20 not so steady, student\n\nWe are no longer together as of 6 months ago.\nWe dated for 8 months prior to that. \n\nI had an abortion which set me back $500. I didn't tell my parents and had to come up with this money on my own. He did not help because he was unemployed. I spoke to him in person( the day of the abortion) and he said he would have the money by the end of the month.\n\nI stopped talking to him since then(Christmas time) and he believed he did not have to pay me back. He probably thought since we were done talking he didn't owe me anything. \nI have been patient the last 6 months and I haven't pestered him about it.\n\nI asked him to give me half. I saw him a week ago in person for the first time and gave him a total amount. He laughed it off but didn't say anything concrete about paying me back. He has even bragged about having 'money in excess' so I know he's in a position to pay me back.\n\nWe are not on very good terms and honestly I just want to block him and never speak to him again. If it turns out he doesn't pay me, I'll live but I really want to try.\n\nMy dog has a tumor and it costs just as much as an abortion to have it removed. I really want to use that money to get her surgery.\nMy ex has been known to owe people a lot of money and never follow through. For ex. During a drunken jealous rage he broke my best friends car windows outside of a club we were all at. He promised to pay and never did. It was around $600 in repairs. My bf pressed charges but he never showed up to court so my ex was let loose. \n\nHow can I get him to pay me back?", "summary": "had an abortion around Christmas time($500) he verbally agreed to pay me. It's been 6 months and he has not done so. We agreed to split it."} {"id": "t3_nrc1s", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I've had nodular acne for 6 years now. What else can I do to fight it?", "post": "On Dec 2005 (I was 15) I first noticed a line of 4 hard, bright red pimples appear across my cheek, I found it odd since I never got pimples before. They weren't the white heads that you could squeeze the puss out of, instead they were deep in the skin. \n\nThe following summer the acne spread all over my upper body: arms, chest, back, neck, face, and scalp. I couldn't sit or lay down from the pain of thousands of bleeding, inflamed, puss-filled pimples all over my body. I ruined a few t-shrts during a 2 week period. During this time my dermatologist put me on Accutane, and I did that treatment for a period of 1 year. I had to get off of accutane because the potential side effects are horrible, and by horrible I mean stuff like blindness, loss of sexual potency, and death...\n\nThankfully i got through it and suffered none of the side effects. I was acne free for a year 2006, and then in 2007 the acne came back, but not as strongly. I've been dealing with it through a combination of topical treatments and antibiotics (currently on Menocycline).\n\nAnyway, I'm 21 now and the acne still hasn't shown any signs of going away. I'm considering getting some sort of laser treatment to literally burn the glands in my face that produce sebum and clog my pores causing the facial acne, but this doesn't get to the root of the problem which I believe to be hormonal (which is why I also get acne in my back).\n\nBefore I do this however, I wanted to get the opinion of reddit to see if anyone has gone through this before, and what steps you took to deal with it. I would also greatly appreciate the advice of dermatology students or any experts in this area.", "summary": "I have nodular acne, caused by hormones. I've had it for 6 years and has left me scarred. What steps can I take to fight it, what should do? (I'm considering laser treatment)."} {"id": "t3_36uh33", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (25 M) am thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend (25 F) of 1 year because of guilt.Breakups (self.relationships)Relationships", "post": "I told myself a long time ago I would never cheat on anyone. I have been cheated on myself in the past and I know how much it sucks. Unfortunately, I have found myself in a grey area that can definitely be considered cheating.\n\nBefore I met my current girlfriend I was single for over year. I somehow stumble across some video chat sites I guess out of curiosity and boredom. I quickly realized how easy it was to find girls who were looking to flirt, get naked and even have cam sex with. It was something new that I found way more exciting than porn but it was still like porn, just tailor made to me yet there were no strings attached and you never saw the person again. In some cases I realized that I didn't even need to see the girl get naked at all. If she was attractive I would just get off at the expression on her face as she watched me get naked. It turned me on a lot, I guess its some kind of weird fetish?\n\nOnce I got into a relationship I stopped the video chat thing... for a while. I finally found somebody who was really fun, easy going, funny, smart and someone I just clicked with. It was great until we discovered she has an STI. It fucked me up. I stayed with her anyways but the stress of possibly catching an STI really nagged at me, especially because I don't know how serious or how long this relationship would go on for. Neither one of us have a career picked out, we do have different interests and ideas on what we want to do with our lives. So why risk catching an STI with her?\nI guess out of feeling stuck and possibly wrecking my sex life/ future relationships, I gave in and started going on chat rooms again a handful of times. As soon as it was over I felt horrible. The guilt was awful. Some how I've managed to stay with her without telling her about this but there are times where I cannot stand the guilt.", "summary": "Should I tell her or just break up with her? It's really not fair to her and it is eating me alive."} {"id": "t3_1vbr4x", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What YouTube Network do you recommend I join, Redditors?", "post": "We created a YouTube channel about a year and change ago in Mexico and we're currently growing at a slightly slow but steady pace. Thing is, we don't have enough numbers to actually start generating any revenue but enough to join a Network and give a bit of a jumpstart to our reach. We have been striving for the best quality in our videos but our Latinamerican audience don't really seem to be responding as fast. \n\nSo, I guess my first question is *Does joining a Network actually help jumpstart your channel into having more views and reaching a wider audience?*\n\nAnd my second question would be related to the fact that we're looking at Machinima (but we've heard a lot of bad things about them) and N4Gtv. *Which of the two would you recommend? If neither, do you recommend a better one?*\n\nThanks a lot fellow redditors!", "summary": "I'm checking if I should join Machinima, N4Gtv or some other, more reliable and helpful Network out there."} {"id": "t3_oa9v0", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "SERIOUS PROBLEM... Dogs choke collar broke and she ran into the middle of traffic", "post": "Reddit, I'm shaking right now. My dog is a puppy, 6 months old. I just recently bought a choke collar for her and a long lead and was walking to the park to teach her how to come when called. In the middle of our walk to the park, her collar breaks and she darts off. She thinks I'm chasing her, and she runs away from me. I live in downtown Los Angeles, and she was running into traffic. She ran into the middle of a green light and almost caused an accident, and luckily the dog park was on the other side of the street. She started playing with the dogs and i eventually caught her and put her collar on. The only thing I'm proud of is that I did not hit her or smack her or anything negative. I know it wouldn't do any good but I don't feel comfortable taking her out now. I'm afraid I've taught her to run away when she's off-leash and I'm approaching her. Can someone help? Puppy pics included. \n\n* \n\nI try to stick to positive reinforcement training and I tried not to panic. But I'm freaking out now... What do? How do I 100% fix this??", "summary": "Puppy almost got hit by car, runs away when off-leash and we really need to break the habit or else she'll die."} {"id": "t3_rhx1i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Wife wants to start doing drugs again.", "post": "Been married 12 years, have a 13 year old daughter. We're both 30.\n\nMy wife has major depression. She takes an SSRI and a mood stableizer (Abilify) but they don't seem to be working. She a former drug abuser, pot and that synthetic pot stuff. I don't normally thinks it's too bad a thing to get high, but she does it all day every day, and to a point that she's completely blitzed out of her mind. For two years she did that and I couldn't take it anymore, we seperated for about 4 months, and then she finally realized what an idiot she'd been. She apoligized profusely for how horrible she'd been to us, (it was very bad.) \n\nShe's been drug free for almost 3 months, and she's been so awesome in that time. A great wife and a great mother. Just like old times. \n\nBut now, I guess a wave of bad depression is hitting her and she says that she either needs to start doing drugs again, or cutting, or she'll kill herself. She has appointments to go to therapy, one on Friday and another next week, but she says she needs something now. \n\nI told her I wouldn't go through that again and that I'd get a divorce if she started using again. She said \"Well, if you divorce me, then you divorce me.\" So I said I call the police if I found it in our house, and since she's on probation, then she would go to jail for it. So she hasn't done it yet, but I know she will. She's very pissed off at me, she's sleeping on the couch because I'm keeping her from being happy. \n\nThere's no way I'd actually call the police though, they'd prolly beat me and take me to jail. \n\nAm I being to harsh, should I just let her get high all she wants? She's done so much shit that I should have left her years ago, but I had so much hope that she'd finally realized what she needed to do.", "summary": "Wife wants to start smoking pot again to deal with her major depression. I will divorce her if she does because she's an addict and she's horrible when she's using. Wat do?"} {"id": "t3_3o5j2i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24m] girlfriend [28f] continuously disregards my opinion and refuses to compromise in our relationship but I love her and don't want to break up, reddit help???", "post": "She's perfect, pretty, smart, does great at her job and the 7 months we've been together have been a blast. The only thing is she ignores me and doesn't even THINK about compromising in our relationship.\n\nShe wears lots of sundresses and I feel like it's very disrespectful both to our relationship and to me as her boyfriend that she wears such clothing, especially as she has a few guy friends who I'm certain have liked her or do like her. It's making me very uncomfortable that she'd flaunt herself this way and I just need some opinions on what to do.\n\nI don't want to break up with her and I really really love her but it freaks me out and worries me that she is so comfortable flaunting her body in front of other men. I want her to stop wearing them but she simply hasn't stopped wearing them and just says she loves sundresses.", "summary": "gf flaunts herself in flimsy dresses in front of other guys and refuses to not wear them after I asked her to stop."} {"id": "t3_14v1v5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My girlfriend and I are quitting our \"stable corporate jobs\" and moving across the county to work seasonal jobs around the Yellowstone/Jackson area for a while. Got any advice/tips for me?", "post": "I started working for this corporation a little under six years ago directly after I finished college. It has been good experience, but I know it's not something I want to do for the rest of my life (several reasons dealing with quality of life and constant anxiety). I'm 27 and I think this is my best chance to get the hell out of dodge and start something new before I get tied down with debt and a family to provide for. I grew up spending time in the Rockies during summers and winters and I've always been drawn to live out that way at some point. Anyways, I met this girl a while back (same company) that sees eye to eye with me on life and after much dialogue we decided to go for it and move out west together. We've been planning/preparing for the last 2 months and we have about 2 & \u00bd more months till we want to dip. We've applied to work seasonal jobs around the Yellowstone area this spring-fall, and we hope to work in a ski-town(not sure where yet) during the winter. We have a 25 ft tow behind RV to live out of during our time at Yellowstone, but obviously we would be looking to find something a little warmer (apt rental) for the winter. I've got a pretty good cushion financially, but other than initial get out there costs we plan on surviving on what we make. You guys got any tips or advice for me? Suggestions on a good ski town that might be better to live in compared to others for seasonal workers i.e. housing, living expenses, Etc\u2026 Any tips on private health insurance? Any advice on the plan? Special gear we may need? Oh yea, my dog is coming too.", "summary": "Quitting my job to start a new life with my girlfriend out west and while we have a plan I could use some advice/tips"} {"id": "t3_1y4v5q", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Me [27 F] with my husband [27 M] 8 year relationship, Husband wants an open relationship, I think it'll go down in flames.", "post": "My husband has this bad habit of faking sexual dysfunction whenever his best friends wife(23F) wants to sleep with him. This tends to happen once or twice a year and always leaves our relationship teetering on the brink of collapse.\n\nIn the last few occasions we've tried swapping, which sucks, I'm not remotely attracted to the couple so I end up having to be coerced and boozed into it. I shouldn't have to get wasted just to be able to tolerate it.\n\nThis time when he brought it up as a \"solution\" I told him I was absolutely unwilling and if he tried to make me I'd divorce him so fast his head would spin. In response he suggested a completely open relationship, in which I could fuck anyone I want.\n\nWhich is appealing for the first time.\n\nIt's not appealing in getting to fuck whoever I want, it feels like I'd be shopping for a new husband.(forgive me for how sexist that sounded, oh god it sounds horrid)\n\nI realize that the only reason I'm wanting this as well is that I'm looking for an out, basically I want to stop trying and let it die.", "summary": "Husband wants an open relationship, I think it'll be the last bullet in the head for our marriage, but I'm sick of fighting him on it."} {"id": "t3_2c5pi8", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by picking up a quarter I saw in the gas station.", "post": "TIFU. I was in line at the gas station, waiting to pay for my soda and gas, when I saw a quarter on the packs of gum directly in front of the counter. When it was my turn to pay I bent over and scooped up the quarter, and put it in my pocket, forgetting about it instantly. Putting my soda on the counter and reaching for my wallet, I looked up and saw the cashier eyeing me with an angry glare. I was confused by this. Was she mad at my choice of soda? (She could be one of those freaks that prefer Pepsi) Did I have an offensive t shirt on? (not unless she's offended by my obscure podcast shirt) \n\nI say \"......$40 on 2 please.\" And she responds with \"What's in your pocket?\" \n\n\"huh?\" I stammer before finally understanding. \"Oh! I didn't steal anything!\" and proceed to fervently pull everything out of my pockets, dropping change, and other things. I pick up the 25 cent culprit and thrust it to the cashier, as if it proved my story somehow, and explained that I had just seen the quarter on the gum and nabbed it.\n\n Her face hadn't changed at all during the entire exchange. She finally just completed my transaction and said have a nice day. I'm not sure if she believed me or not, but I gathered all my stuff and hightailed it out of there.", "summary": "I found a quarter on a display of gum, cashier thought I was blatantly stealing gum right in front of her."} {"id": "t3_4621u5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 M] flew from Canada to Ireland to see my girlfriend[22 M/F] for valentines day, got dumped on valentines day, and now Im stuck 3000 miles away from home for another week, help?", "post": "So heres the dealio.\nI'd been dating this girl for eight months, had her living at my house for two, and this all went to shit after i spent alot of time and money to see her.\n\nI came over here on the 23rd of january to see her, but once i got here she'd began to act really horrible and volatile towards me. \n\nOnce i got here i was put into what used to be their dining room, and i sleep on a mattress on a floor. [22/F] stopped having any intimacy towards me, started going out with her friends and leaving me behind a lot. When i did come along then she would say I'm awkward around her friends and act as if I'm a burden (they say otherwise/ that she's acting terribly) \n\nSo fast forward two weeks of fighting, no intimate contact, no love at all. We went to dinner for valentines day two days before because she was working, so i go out that weekend.\n\nNow when i get back to her house on valentines day, that night she starts telling me about how she is in a different stage in her life and ready to grow up and how we need to break up. A week before my flight home.\n\nSo now I'm stuck in this tiny room all the time just counting the days down until i can leave because at this point i have no money, nowhere to go until otherwise, and no ride except for a mutual friend who will only drive before my flight.\n\nThis was supposed to be an enjoyable time but I'm just being guilted into staying and i have to fake this relationship for some reason in front of her parents.\n\nThis has been stressful and draining. I was dealing well with anxiety before but now I'm having random panic attacks at night, i cant sleep. I'm starting to go a bit crazy just because I'm so bored all the time.", "summary": "Im stuck in Ireland at my ex girlfriends house and need some advice on how to pass the time/what i should do at this point?"} {"id": "t3_3b14e8", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Best friend [m21] has been flirting with my [m21] girlfriend [f20].", "post": "Well a little back story me and my best friend graduated highschool together and my girlfriend had been a mutual friend ever sense. When her and I started dating he told her that he liked her a lot and that he wasn't going to do anything because she was dating me. Now a few yours later were all still friends but he broke up with his girl friend and sence then he has been acting very flirtatious with my girlfriend and bring her food and eating with her on her lunch at work and always trying to spend time with her. I trust her and have no doubt she would let anything happen but I just don't know what to do. He's kind of a heavy drinker and recently tried to kiss my girlfriend while I assume under the influence and I haven't brought it up yet.... Any advice will help but I'm looking for other advice other then \"well just talk to him\" I need more then that.", "summary": "best friend likes my girlfriend of 5 years and has been flirting and making it abviously he's interested in her."} {"id": "t3_1nvxl7", "subreddit": "running", "title": "A beginner's question regarding how to equip your gears", "post": "Dear cool runners (and hot ones too):\n\nI've been gaining a lot of weight lately and so I'm considering to dedicate, for the first time in my life ever, some time to run seriously. \n\nMy experience with jogging isn't very bright: I've always associated it with feeling sick and down, feeling bad because I get so tired all the time, because everyone talks about those runner's high that I never experienced. \n\nI broke down the problems I had in the past to one simple-ish fact: I don't enjoy the run before any adrenaline hits and I always give up (too) soon. \n\nSo I'm going to make some changes regarding the issue- which is to say, I'm going to listen to some music. I've got an Iphone 5 that's going to do that job. \n\nProblem is, how do I keep it safely on my person when I'm herpa-derping around the park? \n\nI mean, I can imagine some kind of belt-holder-fastener thing that could hold an iphone in place but I won't be wearing any pants that facilitates for wearing a belt am I? \n\nSo how do you guys do it? How do you wear your music device while running, let alone small water bottles? It sounds like it'll drag my pants down while I run (which is a problem I'm already familiar with, even without the extra weight) and my wiggling bum is the second last thing I want to show the world (the dangling wonder is the first last thing)!\n\nSo here's a", "summary": "Show me your running gear, how do you keep your water bottle and music device on your person while you run? Holding it in your hands sound awfully inconvenient :("} {"id": "t3_1ksxto", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "When I die in a dream (such as the typical falling off a cliff) I dont immediately wake up, but rather fully experience the death. Is this common? Is there some psychological explanation?", "post": "I have only started experiencing \"death\" in my dreams in the last year or so. Each time it happens, it's the kind if dream where I have absolutely no idea it's a dream, it feels real. They fascinate me, always the most interesting dreams I have, and I'm curious if they mean anything from a psychological standpoint.\n\nThe first time I got shot in the back of the head, which at first felt like a hard impact and warm/hot sensation. In the dream it took me a few seconds to realize I had been shot. I felt blood on my neck and my vision started going black and my thoughts got blurry until everything went quiet and black and then I woke up. I even looked up what getting shot in the head is supposed to feel like, and the descriptions fairly matched mine.\n\nLast week was an interesting one where I was on a charter bus with a bunch of people touring some place with a volcano. The volcano started to erupt, sending lava down the hillside toward us. We tried to drive away, but then a larger explosion started which enveloped us in seconds. I just watched the fire and lava shooting toward me, accepting that I would die in less than a second, simultaneously feeling curious about what it would be like. I remember the moment the wall hit the bus, shattering the glass inward, and obliterating everything, but all I really sensed was a sudden impact too great to register anything else, and then and empty senseless blackness. This time the dream continued. I thought to myself \"so I guess I'm dead. I guess there's nothing when you die. Except I'm still thinking, I still have consciousness, that's weird.\" At which point I started to feel more sensation, my body came back to me, a light started to fill the void, and I thought maybe it was an afterlife, a heaven of some kind I was going to. Turned out I just woke up.", "summary": "fascinating and realistic dreams of death and even after death (gunshot to the head, pyroclastic flow of doom), what do they mean? Does anyone else have them?"} {"id": "t3_3w6gob", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (27f) offered a job reference to an acquaintance (27f). She's been messaging/calling me since and she is unprofessional.", "post": "As my title states, I offered an old acquaintance a reference for the company I work for. To clarify, I work in customer service. \n\nShe has called me and messaged me. All times accounted for, she has talked to me about drama she has encountered during her job. (this guy likes her, her boss has a crush on some other worker, wanted to know if my boss had a crush on someone in the department??...). She has even mentioned on social media that a different coworker said her ass looked good. \n\nI had her send me her resume and looking at it she has no customer service experience. I ask her if she's ok with more of a data entry job. She's completely ok with it. \n\nMy issue... If I offer to give her a reference.. The behavior she has exhibited in our conversations, Will this negatively effect me? For HR purposes? My job? This is my first career I have an actual passion for, and I do not want to loose what I have. \n\nI love what I do, and I cannot risk anything.", "summary": "I offered an acquaintance a job reference, I've chatted with her and it turns out she is a huge drama magnet, and may cause HR problems, will this negatively effect me if I refer her?"} {"id": "t3_3wl7sb", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[IL, USA] Can my employer force me to purchase lottery tickets that customers refused?", "post": "I work at a small convenience store and I've only been here a few months. There's the usual drama here and there between coworkers and just recently, a bulletin was put up saying \"To all employees: If you do not sell lottery tickets that customers refuse by the end of your shift, YOU are responsible for purchasing them\".\nI'm young and have really no ground to stand on but, isn't there some sort of workers protection policy or something stating that an employer cannot force you to pay for anything unless you are directly responsible for any kind of damage or defamation? Sure, our store loses money when there's lotto tickets that have been printed and cannot be cancelled therefore requiring someone to pay for them but I don't think it's the employee's responsibility to pay for them.\nThere's always a risk when operating a business and if you choose to sell lottery tickets, you accept the fact that here and there customers are gonna be dicks and not pay for some tickets so the company has to bite the bullet. Most companies budget at least a portion for losses, correct? Why would an employee have to cover their loss?", "summary": "My boss wants me to buy lottery tickets that customers refuse to pay for. Is she allowed to even suggest that, like it's some sort of policy?"} {"id": "t3_4zcs0r", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by accidentally overdosing on caffeine.", "post": "I take a lot of gym supplements. At 3am, I realised that I had forgotten to take my daily creatine supplement so I went to take it. I don't really weigh out creatine, I just take a spoonful from the bag, mix it with water and down it. So, I did like usual.\n\nI forgot that I had a bag of pure caffeine powder in my stash of supplements and the bag looks identical to my bag of creatine, so you can probably guessed what happened.\n\nI accidentally took a ridiculous dose of caffeine and very quickly started feeling shit. Sweating, nausea, ridiculously high heart rate, dizziness, confusion... all the classic signs of caffeine overdose. My girlfriend rang the emergency helpline, told them what happened and they sent out an ambulance immediately. I was taken off to hospital to be observed just incase my heart decided to give out. Had a bunch of blood pressure tests and ECGs. Blood pressure extremely high, high rate high.\n\nThankfully it passed without anything serious happening... but holy shit, it felt bloody awful. Caffeine sucks. Also, I have random bald patches on my body now from where I ripped off the sticky ECG sensors and that hurt like a bitch. Apparently a potentially lethal dose of caffeine is ~5g and I'm pretty sure I had more than that.", "summary": "I got my supplements mixed up, overdosed on caffeine and had to spend the night being observed in hospital. I felt like death."} {"id": "t3_2d2j61", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by giving my gf a howling orgasm in public", "post": "I've been inspired by reading the sexual escapades of other f-ups to make my first post. So it was back when I was in my early 20's. My gf and I had a healthy appetite for sex in public. The danger of getting caught amped up the excitement. So on this occasion we were watching the fireworks display at the waterfront. Beautiful night, beautiful fireworks, stars shining brightly, and a beautiful woman by my side. Wasn't long before we found a nice grassy spot under a tree. \n\nSo we're in the throes of passion and this encounter is feeling excitingly different. Her moaning is building up quicker than usual and getting increasingly louder. Her gyrating hips would make a whirling dervish blush. So of course I'm feeling pretty good about myself and my skills. I'm thinking, yeah man, I'm tapping this to ecstasy. \n\nHer moaning is getting so loud I'm now at the point where I'm thinking we're going to get busted. But a man doesn't leave a job unfinished and I carry on dutifully. Just as this mind numbing orgasmic pleasure hits, she screams out, shoves me off of her, jumps up, and starts swatting at all of these ants that were biting her. Her ass and legs were covered in ants. \n\nI felt horrible for her but realised what a thoughtful gf I had for putting up with the biting for so long.", "summary": "having sex with my gf in a park, thought my mad skills was sending her to ecstasy, realised it was ants biting her ass that caused the loud moaning."} {"id": "t3_ydg52", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Stuck between two job opportunities, help is appreciated!", "post": "I have just graduated university in the UK with a 2:1 in Computer Forensics and I have been offered a work experience placement which is unpaid in Hereford for a month or so. The boss told me that come mid autumn which is around October time they may have the money to be able to fully employ me and I imagine it'd be around \u00a313,000 - \u00a315,000 a year starting. I start here Monday if I take the job.\n\nHowever, I have applied for various other jobs that pay upfront and I have an interview at a local company that is just setting up forensics as part of their business, they are usually just general PC sales and repairs. They will be offering around \u00a315,000 - \u00a318,000 I believe but I'm not sure how it will be regarding the Forensics as they are starting up, likely to be very boring and a lot of paperwork and mainly ICT repairs. \n\nMy main issue with Job no.1 is that I won't be paid for a month or two at first, but the company is well established and carries out work with some top contacts.\n\nIssue with Job no.2 is that it's not well established and if I were to go for another job afterwards they'd just see it as general ICT work rather than forensic computing which may not be of any benefit.\n\nAny idea which one I should go for?", "summary": "2 Job opportunities, 1 is relevant to my degree and will benefit me in future but is unpaid. The other isn't entirely relevant but is paid. Not sure which one to take."} {"id": "t3_ljsq8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A conservative kid I went to HS with posted this, but I'm not sure as to the validity of his statement...", "post": "I took Micro and Macro Econ in College, I study up on current politics pretty much everyday but something about this quote just seemed inaccurate. Maybe my fellow redditors can shed some light or prove actual specific data either supporting or going against said quote.\n \n\"There comes a moment when the population realizes that it has to stop, and sometimes it takes a form of tax the rich people, which is a reflection more of the lack of understanding of how the economy works. Rich people are now being defined by the administration as people who make $1 million. Well, most of the businesses in America, other than giant corporations, are paying taxes under Chapter S, partnerships or individual proprietorships. So somebody shows that they've made $3 million or $2 million this year and they paid personal taxes on that money. They subtract the cost of living and then what's left after, and that does not show that probably 25% or 30% of their profits are tied up in accounts receivable or inventory, stuff that they can't spend or get their hands on, but to support their business and their employment. And then they take whatever is left, these so-called millionaires, and they open up another shop or another office. And that, that is the only known engine of growth in the United States of America. And we have an administration that is fanning the fires that this is somehow undeserved, profligate millionaires, and it is worse than hypocrisy. It is totally dishonest. It represents by young people who don't know the difference, simple misunderstanding and the lack of understanding of how the economy works or what's going on in America, but if it's politician that does it or union leader, then it represents something much more pernicious. It represents a deliberate misleading of the public.\" - Steve Wynn", "summary": "Quote about why millionaires shouldn't be taxed because most are small business owners who reinvest their gains. We, as young people, clearly don't understand how the economy works and will ruin it all."} {"id": "t3_4nmkta", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by scorching my taint, getting a concussion, and stitches", "post": "Obviously a throwaway account. \n\nSo I suffer from HMAS (hairy man ass syndrome) so in the shower I make sure to really wash back there well, also of note I take really hot showers (usually my back is bright red when im done). Today, this happened a few hours ago, I was in a hotel and set the temp to full hot, which is normally fine in hotels. Get in feel the shower starting to finally heat up, and proceed to start washing back there. Well the temp goes from slowly warming to molten lava in .003 milliseconds, instantly going from the small of my back down the crack and further below scalding everything in its path. In my haste to get away from the stream of pain, slip and grab the shower curtain, which of course rips off the hooks, and hit my head on the toilet. So got to explain to the very nice ER folks exactly happened, to their credit they almost didn't laugh, so yeah concussion and a few stitches on my forehead.", "summary": "Wanted a clean crack, ending up getting scalded from the brown eye to taint town, and just to add insult got a concussion and stitches."} {"id": "t3_43g6is", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "NY - Issues with retirement tier, not sure if this is a legal question or not.", "post": "Basically I joined the NYS retirement system in 2005 into tier 4, got a retirement number, packet, all that jazz. \n\nA few years ago they sent me a new packet for tier 5 with a new number, then another with tier 6. They won't recognize my tier 4 registration number and INSIST I am tier 6. \n\nI have called at least 7 times and written no less than 16 letters with documented proof, and nothing has changed. My paycheck is still listing tier 6 and taking money out of me. Under tier 4, after 10 years, you stop paying in. \n\nDo you know if a lawyer can write some strongly worded letters or take this to court? Is this even a court issue? What kind of lawyer would this be? I have just tried everything and feel so frustrated. It is the difference of me paying thousands of dollars more and retiring 8 years later, with significantly less pension.", "summary": "should be in a different retirement system, after two years of fighting state refuses to change it, want to pursue it further with a lawyer if possible."} {"id": "t3_32key2", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I Think my neighbor is going to break in to my house. What should I do?", "post": "Call me paranoid, but I think my neighbor is going to try and break in my house. Here is a little back story: I don't live in the best part of town, and my neighbors family (wife and 2 adult sons) have been making a living off of selling drugs while he was in prison. Well the dude just got out about a month ago, and been acting really suspicious the last 3 weeks or so. It all started when they got news they were going to be evicted. Every time I leave my house/come home he watches. and he waits for outside me any time I leave and comes and talks to me as soon as I get out of my car. That's where the suspicious questions come in. He will ask me: \"Where do you work at, What's their hours, what shift do you work?\" He has also asked to come into my house on several occasions for various reasons. (to use the phone, internet, ect.) I can only assume that he want's to case out my house. Now, my house has some CCTV security cameras installed and a DVR to record the video. I've had them installed for about 3 years now, and he has been in the state pen for only 14 months. He just recently asked how many cameras I have and if they are operational. That sounds like a huge red flag to me. You would think cameras are all I need as far as a deterrent, but he is still watching my every move. And on top of that, the DVR isn't internet capable, and if someone was to simply take the it, I would have no video evidence of the break in. I have several firearms and I'm not afraid to use them to protect myself, but I think he knows this and is waiting to strike while I am away at work. I'm getting so nervous (or paranoid, depending who you talk to) that I'm having trouble sleeping at night. What should I do?", "summary": "Neighbor acting really suspicious and I'm sure he wants to break in to my house. I have security cameras but they wont do any good if the DVR is stolen."} {"id": "t3_2k1y9p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Broke up with my SO (19F), she won't leave me (19M) alone, constantly harassing/following me. What can I do?", "post": "A brief back story: we started dating my senior year of high school. I'm now a sophomore in college (so about 2yr roughly together). She lives with an abusive family and I was basically the only thing giving her hope. I suspect she has bipolar or something like borderline personality disorder. The relationship started off fairly well and we really clicked. Around a year in, she started meddling with other guys. Mostly flirting and a few kisses. This enraged me and I slowly grew more and more dissatisfied. She would not let me leave. Every time I tried she would beg me back with a sob story\n\nCut to this May. She cheats on me again. This time, its full blown sex. Stupid me, I forgive her and try to move on. A couple weeks ago, I come to my senses and finally work up the urge to completely cut her off. I tell her we're done. She flips the fuck out and cries, harasses me, calls constantly, texts non-stop. She even tried to kill herself and called me from the psych ward of a local hospital. She's out and back to her crazy self. I have time where I'm not being berated by her. I just want her to move on and leave me alone. What can I do to make this happen? please ask me any questions that may help.", "summary": "Crazy ex won't leave me alone, constantly cheats, tried to kill herself. I want to be left alone."} {"id": "t3_16vl2a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girls of this subreddit I need advice, I [17m] unwittingly pissed off my girlfriend [16f] and don't know how to apologize. [5 months today]", "post": "Last night me and my girlfriend were on the phone, she was clearly tired and after speaking for about 20-30 minutes with her falling asleep about 5 times I said to her \"I'm just gonna let you go to sleep\". She responds with \"You just don't wanna talk to me\" *laughs*.\n\n So I reassure her that obviously I want to talk but she keeps falling asleep so she'd be better off just sleeping then me keeping her up. Well half way through my explanation she hangs up, I call back the first time and she just texts me saing \"no!\" I call her the second time, she answers saying \"What?\" and then hangs up as I start to talk, then she texts me simply saying \":P\". At this point I don't really know what to do so I just say \"Forget it ____, get some sleep and I'll talk to ya tomorrow, Good night <3\", all I get back is \"kay...\"\nText her this morning and got nothing back, but I know when I do there's gonna be no smileys and not much of an effort at conversation, so I need to know how to apologize.\nOh, almost left out that she was supposed to see me today but her dad told her they were going somewhere, we only see each other every second weekend except during the holidays, plus I've got tests in a few weeks and she's always telling me to be studying instead of worrying about seeing her and that she's \"patient enough\".", "summary": "Girlfriend hung up on me for saying I'd let her sleep instead of me keeping her up, I text her saying I'd talk to her in the morning, now she won't talk to me."} {"id": "t3_11h53c", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "This is my bed. Replace, repair, remake, buy new, or suffer?", "post": "Okay, so I've had this futon, , for a few years now and it's infront of a 42 inch tv, stays in couch mode 100% of the time, and people tend to flop down on it. This has caused the supports in it to buckle, bend, and even snap. At this point the bed causes me sore ribs if I lay on my stomach, sore back if on my back, and pains in my sides if I was to lay on my side. \n\nAt this point I feel it has come down to a few choices:\n\nReplace: I can replace it with the thing.. Another futon.\n\nRepair: I thought about going out and buying a slab? of wood and putting it under the mattress to create support like people do with old furniture.\n\nRemake: I really thought about going out and buying the tools and wood to build a completely wooden frame to replace this metal one, I figured it'd be cheaper than replacing it or buying new, including buying the tools.\n\nBuy New: Well basically buy a new bed or something like it like an army cot or something.\n\nSuffer: Basically ignore the rest of this and just continue moving pillows and clothing around to create a support and suffer through it till I can get a better paying job.", "summary": "My bed is shit and I'm trying to pick the best choice for working at an $8 an hour job and not waking up in pain every morning."} {"id": "t3_wnpbj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hotel employees: what should I do about a hotel that lost my belongings in the mail after I left them behind? Is getting my stuff back a lost cause? What is customary in this situation?", "post": "So I left some items behind. My fault, I know.\n\nI called the hotel to find my stuff after checking out. They said they had it and asked for my address to send it all back to me saying the delivery fees would be charged to the account on the hotel's file. \n\n2 Weeks later I called again wondering why I hadn't received the package. They acted like they had no idea and asked me for my address once more. \n\n2 weeks later, again, I called back with the same question about the whereabouts of my things. They said they mailed them and I should wait to receive the items. \n\nAgain, just today, I called now given that sufficient time has passed and they said they had mailed it on 7/2 - about 2 weeks ago. I asked for the tracking number and the housekeeping informed me that they didn't get one. They sent it regular mail with no way of tracing the items. I then called the front desk and they said they send all things out of there with fedex and I told her that housekeeping sent it regular mail and I found it hard to believe that they didn't use any tracking system or give me an option to send it as such. \n\nI had assumed this sort of thing must be frequent and customary; they must have some sort of system. I don't know how to proceed. BTW,iIt was only 2 jackets, that were relatively expensive for me, not like it was jewelry. I am more angry than anything, that I have had 10 conversations with them (I took an record of the dates and calls) and they neglected once to mail it out and then getting lost in the mail. I'm not great at complaining and demanding action. What should I do?", "summary": "I left my things in a very upscale hotel/spa and repeated attempts to understand where my stuff is left me with the understanding that it was lost in the mail with no way to track the package. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3qlnux", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [16/F] broke up with me [17/M] last night", "post": "We were getting along great for three weeks and then she suddenly said she couldn't handle a relationship right now and she wants to make herself happy. She was my first everything...first kiss, first dance, all of that... and then she just left. She said she didn't want to lose me and she still likes me but she needs to focus on herself. \n\nAnd honestly, I don't want to lose her either. We both went through a lot of pain together with other people and we just kind of wound up with each other, and I still really like her. \n\nShe, and everyone else, keeps saying there's nothing wrong with me but there clearly is. Before her I was getting pretty close with another girl, but she decided she couldn't see being in a relationship with me. And now my ex suddenly decides she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me.\n\nI think my problem is that I'm too moody because I get into times when I'm really happy and times when I get really depressed, regardless of other people. The breakup did not really help. \n\nI don't really know what I'm expecting with this, but I right now I just kind of want to go away and not feel anything like I used to.", "summary": "Girlfriend broke up with me... I don't know if I should still keep fighting for her and for myself or if I should just let myself go."} {"id": "t3_4939co", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my BF [25 M], big life changes, stress, and feelings.", "post": "Moved into my BF's (of 4 years) apartment a couple of months ago, started a new job that is stressful and I'm not sure I want to keep. His job is also super stressful. Basically, we're both really stressed all the time. Everything was great before the move. We don't honestly have a lot of problems living together, like we split chores fine and each have plenty of our own space.\n\nBut, I'm starting to feel like he's pulling a way a lot and so am I. Feeling more like roommates sometimes. Does this happen sometimes? Is it just a phase. I still love him, I think, but I just feel like everything is off. Nobody is cheating, he wouldn't have time with the amount of work he does anyway. I try to make time for more romantic evenings but it just doesn't go anywhere or just feels forced. I tried talking to him about it several times, but he says things are fine, we're just busy. That makes me feel kind of dramatic or crazy, but I KNOW things are different, less sex, less affection, etc.", "summary": "Relationship feeling stagnant. Both very stressed. Is this normal? Can I fix it? Will it get better? Is there anything I can do to help it along?"} {"id": "t3_3wzxpk", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Fast Food Addict", "post": "Hello everyone my name is Blitz and I am a fast food addict. I don't know what to do anymore. I live in a small town and the main street is only about a block from my house which conveniently has all the fast food restaurants on it. I have to drive by 7 everyday to get to work in a town that only has 9. My doctor recently started me on phentermine because I am constantly hungry. It has actually helped a lot. I can eat a granola bar and be full whereas before I could eat 12 granola bars. I have actually managed to lose 24lbs in the past 2 months but cannot stop eating fast food. It has become so bad I lay in bed in the morning trying to decide what fast food I want for breakfast. I don't even like the taste of it and I feel sick and fat afterwords. My wife always packs me an amazing and healthy lunch and it has been awhile since I have ate that early and drove to town for 2nd lunch so I have won that battle. I read a post a while back where the person said anytime they wanted fast food they immediately transferred the money yo savings. I might actually give this a try but does anyone else have any other recommendations?", "summary": "I am fat and can't stop eating fast food. Even though I am not hungry I still think about it constantly."} {"id": "t3_2x44vj", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by popping pills in a club", "post": "So like with most of these this didn't happen today, but I had another fuck up today that reminded me of this one. It was so painful I must have blocked it from my memory. \nAbout a year ago my friend and I used to take MDMA pills, or Molly, and my body reacted to this by having to take a massive dump about a half hour afterwards. I had gotten pretty good with my timing, so I was able to get it out of my system before going out. Well, one night we were out at a club and we had been drinking when she offered me some. My drunk self forgot about the pill poops and took it. Fast forward a half hour later and right on cue I needed a bathroom, quick. After waiting 20 minutes to use the girls bathroom I finally make it into one of the two stalls and all is right with the world. I felt bad about stinking up the place, but it had to be done. I go to flush, and the fucking toilet won't flush. No matter what I tried it just wouldn't go down. I just wrecked half the girls bathroom. In a panic I run out, grab my friend, and sprint out of the club before explaining why we needed to leave.", "summary": "Popped pills after drinking and forgot they liquefy my insides. Ended up destroying the girls bathroom at a night club"} {"id": "t3_ckstb", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Dear Reddit, girls are jerks. That is all.", "post": "So, I'm living in an extended stay hotel for the summer in Illinois for an internship. I don't know anyone here, so last Friday (my first Friday here) I went out to the bars to meet some people. I ended up meeting these two girls and we ended up talking and dancing together. We had a generally good time. I told them how I didn't know anyone and was just looking for people to hang out with on the weekends. \n\nThey seemed to take this well and at the end of the night I asked for their numbers. It appeared they were in a hurry so they just said, \"look us up on Facebook, our last names are (insert last name).\" I didn't mind too much because I wasn't looking for a hookup, just friends.\n\nI added them the next day and they both accepted my request. I waited until Sunday to ask them about hanging out again (didn't want to appear too desperate). Both of them have ignored my messages, and one of them even limited me from their profile so that I can't see anything/communicate with her.", "summary": "I'm new to a state for a summer internship. Met some girls and had a good time, they told me to look them up on Facebook. They completely ignore me afterwords."} {"id": "t3_dc2kl", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Do you see a Therapist? At what point did you say to yourself that you need that? Or were you persuaded to go by others? How did you start going?", "post": "I've tried some form of therapy in the past and it didn't stick. \n\nOne was career counseling that I took when I finished school and was in a rut. Turned into more of a life counseling thing. I think I only went twice. My parents pushed me to go to this.\n\nThe other time was a straight-up therapist and it didn't stick. I was very uncomfortable. I'm a pretty quiet person and it takes a really good friend with a specific attitude for me to spill beans on what I'm thinking. Trust issues? (right there is a therapy topic!)\n\nI'm not sure I can do the therapy thing (let alone afford one) but I'm thinking I should give it another go. But maybe I don't need to? I might be over-reacting.\n\nI could just be in a small rut right now. I just need to pick myself \nback up. Or not. At what point do you say \"I need this\"?\n\nThe whole idea of therapy is very strange for me.", "summary": "I've tried it before, and I couldn't do it. Not sure if I should try again or if I need to. Need some insight from wonderful reddit."} {"id": "t3_2oguis", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by jacking off at school.", "post": "Of course this didn't happen today but it did this previous week.\n\nBeing a teenaged boy, I usually jack off twice a day; once before school, and once before I go to bed. Last Tuesday, I got up late, and didn't have time to rub one off before school, so come 3rd period, I'm pretty horny. I ask my teacher if I can go to the bathroom, and I immediately pull out my phone and pull up pictures of my ex in bikinis on Instagram. (damn, that sounds a lot more creepy than I thought it would :s) A couple of important things to remember is that: 1. My ex has third period with me and knows I went to the bathroom, 2. These were some pictures from 1-2 years ago that I've never liked and 3. It is very easy to accidentally like someone's picture because all you have to do is double tap on the image. For those of you who don't use Instagram, when you \"like\" a picture, the person will get a notification immediately that you liked their picture.\n\nI bet you can see where this is going now. I finish my business in the bathroom while using the pictures on Instagram as something to help speed up the process. I come back to the classroom and everybody gets kind of quiet all of a sudden. Even my math teacher was giving me a strange look. I sit down next to my best friend, and he asked me if I \"had a good time in the bathroom\" and some of the class laughed. I then pull out of my phone and look in horror as I see that I accidentally liked a picture of her in a polka-dot bikini from over a year ago. After that, I booked it out of the classroom, and I've faked being sick ever since.\n\nI really want to change schools, but I don't know how I could do that without telling my parents what happened.", "summary": "I jacked off at school, accidentally liked a picture of my ex in a bikini on Instagram, everyone knows I jacked off to that picture of her in the bathroom, now I have to change schools."} {"id": "t3_1g62fv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22M]y girlfriend[18F] is headed to a date right now, I am at a loss as to what to do", "post": "I started seeing my current partner about 3 months ago. Started off casual FWB but we both ended up getting feelings for the other and had the exclusive talk and now we are a couple. We generally get along well though the last week or so we've gotten into a rut of nit picking and one fight led to another to another and last night we actually made some progress into trying to turn this ship right round again. \n\nCurrently she is a few states away and has been the last two weeks as she is spending the summer with family of hers out of state, so talking has been a little difficult with the time difference and her spending time with family, which has probably contributed to us arguing more than usual. She only knows her family there and wanted to get out and meet new people so she went to an event at the community center today. I called her about 20 mins ago thinking she would be home by now, she told me she's out a game right now and after that she is going to a \"friend's\" house for dinner and movies. I asked what friend and she said a guy, she met him at the library and he asked her to come over and she said ok. I was kind of shocked and just said ok, well I'll talk to you later and left.\n\nThis isn't normal, yes? That is strictly a date and can't be misconstrued as something else, right? Or am I just being paranoid? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill or is that not ok? One of our biggest fights came from her not really respecting the boundaries of our relationship, she didn't cheat or anything but doesn't seem to understand what behavior is and isn't ok in a committed relationship when it comes to other guys.", "summary": "I [22M] believe my girlfriend [18F] is about to go on a date with some guy she just met today, what do I or can I do if anything?"} {"id": "t3_1s2yu7", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Any experience with Feliway?", "post": "My poor cat (~1yr old calico) has problems peeing--it might be crystals. I'm currently working with a vet and changing her diet etc. One thing that was suggested was Feliway. \n\nThe Vet said that she might not be getting enough water. This cat drinks more water than any cat I've ever seen, and I was giving her wet food twice a day as well. Before she was having problems urinating she'd PEE SO MUCH! Like massive clumps of urine that she'd play with if I didn't scoop them straight away (my kitten is a dirtball). I'm wondering if maybe she misses me and is drinking less when I'm not around and I'm not really noticing it. If this is the case I want to try Feliway. (My mom, a vet tech recommends it as well). \n\nFor my cat's first 7 months with me (she followed me home off the street) I was working from home, this month, I started working a \"real\" job and am away for 9 hours. I do make an effort to play with her a bit when I get home, but she's such a cuddle bug that we wind up just cuddling and watching TV. \n\nIt's hard to tell if she is stressed with me leaving, because she is SUCH A CHILL LITTLE GIRL. She's playful at the right times, cuddly when I want her to be, and she's so good at the vet--only slightly \"normal\" nervous. \nI'm not having issues with her peeing outside the box; I just want to make her less stressed. \n\nSorry, on with the questions, have you guys used Feliway? Where do I plug it in? My apartment is the first floor of a row home and she's allowed everywhere.", "summary": "want to try Feliway for my 1 yr spayed kitten because she's newly alone all day. Has anyone used it? How do I do it?"} {"id": "t3_26ktdp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18/F] recently removed a temporary online fling [21/F] from Facebook and I wonder if I made the right decision", "post": "About 2 years ago I met this guy on tumblr, we'll call him L, and we started talking. We hit it off so we continued to talk on gmail, with us eventually becoming Facebook friends. \nHe was always open about his sexuality, and described himself as an exhibitionist (this is important later). It made me uncomfortable at first, but soon I began to fall for him. However, when I asked him out he said no, because I live in America and he lives in Britain. I was okay with that, and tried to continue being friends with him.\n\nAll throughout the summer, he became very flirty with me, telling me that he thought I was beautiful and that he wanted to be with me. Many times the messages became sexual, but I became okay with it because I really liked him. Many times he asked me to send him a naked picture, and everytime I said no. This went on for about a year, with me falling harder and harder for him and him continually refusing a relationship. One time, I found out that 2 days after telling me how he wanted to come to America and have a romantic/sexual date with me, he had sex with an ex. It hurt, but I couldn't stop talking to him.\n\nHowever, last December he started dating a new girl, and almost completely cut me off. I was heartbroken, but continued messaging him when I could and trying to keep our friendship. Last week, my friends suggested I cut him off for good because I was beginning to have the mindset of someone who was emotionally abused. I decided to do so, removing him from Facebook and deleting his contact from my iPod and email. \n\nI kind of regret my decision, because I really miss him. But I am scared to add him again and deal with the same hurt, especially because he probably doesn't understand why I removed him. Should I add him back?", "summary": "I deleted an on/off online fling from Facebook after he began to ignore me, and I'm not sure if I should add him back."} {"id": "t3_qf6h4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I just got told I was adopted. What kind of news have you gotten that everyone else found important except you?", "post": "Basically, My parents met with me and told me I was adopted. They were very serious and comforting, but for me it was a real \"Meh\" moment. \n\nI cared more that they told me and were supportive. I told them I didn't really care, since my biological folks were seem to have been in a position where I was unwanted (for any logical/irrational reasons), and they still haven't bothered to contact me. I am more than happy with great parents that care for me.\n\nThey asked me what I would do if I was ever contacted. I told them I would probably have a chat or what-not, just so I could set *their* minds at ease after having found their son. Admittedly, I also want to get an idea of what my genetics might be, for health reasons.\n\nThere is something I have concluded, though. If my biological parents contact me for financial aid, or for any other such problems, then it will lead to an immediate break of communications and contact. I would do this because I have to help care for my real family. I am not about to lend time and resources to other people on the *only* basis that they are blood-related. If they put about zero effort in, they can get zero effort back.", "summary": "I was told I was adopted, and I don't really care. What information were you told that everyone thought was shocking and important, except you?"} {"id": "t3_qtidj", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Long time girlfriend broke up with me, need some help", "post": "Reddit, you always have answers in my time of need, so here I am again. My ex and I had been together for about two years. We were very close, and she was and is my very best friend. Our personalities match better than I could imagine. Her family has also taken me in, and become my family in a way. She also has an almost 3 year-old daughter who I have been raising as my own. She broke up with me this past Friday.\n\nShe tells me that she needs some time to grow up on her own (we are fairly young, and have been living together since before we started dating. We have also essentially been together 24/7 since then. Not by choice, it's just the circumstances surrounding us). I completely understand, and I feel the same way, but I am still completely devastated. We have been living with her parents, and I unfortunately have nowhere else to go, so I am staying in their spare bedroom. Her family is just as upset as I m, since they love me very much. My girlfriend also still loves me, and I believe that very much, and says that she still wants us to be together when she is able to find her happiness on her own. She feels like she has been too reliant on me to make her happy, she wants to prove to herself that she can be happy independently.\n\nI think she is the girl I will propose to, so this is very difficult on me. She tells me she still wants us to be close, and try to work toward being together again.\n\nI trust her with my life, and am almost certain that it isn't about anything she says it isn't. \n\nMy question is this: How am I supposed to try and be just her friend for now? I need an idea of how to make this work so we can be together again. Kind of lost at the moment. And I will not give up, I genuinely think she is the person for me.", "summary": "Long time girlfriend broke up with me, but wants to find herself for a bit. How do I make this easier?"} {"id": "t3_1bsp4e", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Suggestions for getting over a long term relationship break up?", "post": "My ex girlfriend and I were together for nearly a year and a half, by far the longest time I've spent with someone. We were with each other every day and practically lived together for a time. \n\nIt grew to a point where I was being pulled in different directions by the relationship, friends and school and I began to resent each of those things. I realized that I wanted out of the relationship so when it was brought up the two of us talked about it and decided to break up. A break was discussed but she said she didn't like that term because it confuses things. \n\nI've been having issues getting over it though because, first and foremost, the number one person in my life for the last year and a half is gone completely. We've had to talk a couple of times since it happened (it's been only 3 days) because he had a class together but I asked her if she wanted it, too, because she continuously said that we were doing it for me. She cannot give me a straight answer, so I'm assuming that she was wanting it, too. \n\nI know it's selfish and hypocritical, but now when I think about it I get angry, sad and jealous all at once. To know that the one person who actually cared for me for the last year or so (I've had my own series of emotional issues lately and all that I took out of it was that she was the only one there for me) no longer wants to be there for me, or at least she didn't want to. \n\nIt makes it that much harder to get over. She says she's been having a difficult time with it, but from what her facebook and twitter say it's quite the opposite. I always felt like she cared more than I did when we were together but now I'm the one still thinking about it all the time, crying and being sad while she seems to be having a great time.", "summary": "Any suggestions on how to stop feeling upset or how to stop focusing on how she's moved on so quickly? I'd really appreciate it - thank you."} {"id": "t3_z9u8f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Beginning college with my [18] year old girlfriend, and I [18] have a few questions.", "post": "My SO and I have been dating for almost a year and a half, 8 months long distance and I've known her since I was 11. Whenever we're together everything is perfect; we are very much in love and everything we do together is fun. However, when we're apart or stop communicating for a day or two I start becoming more and more insecure. I have a history of cheating exes, and I admit that I am a misogynist, but I really believe that this girl is the one. She is perfectly fine with not talking to me at all for days on end, and this sort of bothers me. \nI am a hopeless romantic and she is fairly realistic. I understand that how she spends her time is her business, but a text or something to let me know she's thinking of me would mean so much to me, as little as that is. I am definitely a believer that communication is very important in a relationship; is asking for a text/short phone call every day a bit much?\nThis is her first relationship, and I have done everything I can to let her know that she is the world to me. She is extremely happy with me as a boyfriend besides the fact that I can be a little overbearing at times, and I plan on working on it. I just want a little compromise to make things a little easier to get into.\nI am very willing to make this work because she does mean the world to me. Throughout the course of this relationship I have changed and am slowly but surely learning my way around fully trusting her now. Coming from a long distance relationship (I was in Canada, she was in Taiwan), we would Skype/video call daily and it just seems like now, without the daily reminder that I am important to her, I start doubting that I am.\nI dislike how I make her feel like I am smothering her, does anyone have advice for this situation?", "summary": "College just started, girlfriend not able to talk as much and is ok with it. I get insecure because of past history with girls."} {"id": "t3_uyeiq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "While at TV Class in School, I accidentally knocked over a $100 External Hard drive and it broke, What Other \"Fuck Me!\" Stories do you have?", "post": "So in TV Class at my school we took our final. After the written test we were told to fix any mistakes on our last project and then submit it to him. While I was eager to work I started moving the keyboard, mouse, and monitor onto the table we are to work on, the monitor wire got caught into the External Hard drive cable and the hard drive fell out and crashed onto the ground below, which caused it to die. Not only did that die, I now owe the teacher $100 for a new one with the money I don't have, and I lost all of my footage on the hard drive and due to losing the footage I failed my Final do to not being able to fix mistakes... FML", "summary": "While working on my final, computer monitor wire got attached onto external hard drive, causing hard drive to fall and break; Now I owe my teacher $100 I don't have and I failed my final. "} {"id": "t3_4ga54v", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22M] am currently in a Katy Perry song with this girl [24F]. How do I proceed?", "post": "Hi Reddit\n\nFor the last six months, I've had a small crush on this girl. Nothing major, I just think she's cute. We've never spoken in depth about anything, just random stuff once or twice a month for this period.\n\nAbout a month after I met her, I slept (literally slept) with her - we cuddled a bit, but that's it. I texted her twice, but she was always slow to reply, so I figured that was it.\n\nWe then spoke on and off for some time.\n\nAbout a month ago, she kissed me early in the evening at a party, and then hung on me for the rest of the evening. No more than one kiss, and I was sort of annoyed that she was toying with me. I texted her the following days where she was all smiles, until she suddenly dropped off the radar and didn't respond to anything for some days. I stopped too, figured she'd come around if she wanted to. I thought that was the end of it, as contact was kept pretty short after this.\n\nCome last night. I figured she was done, but no, she texted me all night and we end up kissing again. She had a girlfriend staying from out of town, so she went home with her. Then here I am today. She snapped me a couple of times, but I really can't be arsed dealing with this hot and cold behaviour. How do I figure out what the fuck she wants? Every time I asked her she tells me she likes me, but then keeps pulling this shit.\n\nI feel like saying fuck it, but she's so nice and sweet, and really pretty too. Dropping off the radar just isn't cool.", "summary": "Girl is hot for boy, boy (literally) sleeps with girl, girl goes cold. Boy kisses girl, girl is happy, girl suddenly goes cold. Girl kisses boy again, girl goes no."} {"id": "t3_35371n", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I'm a horrible human being, please help (serious replies only)", "post": "I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but I really am looking for help\n\nI [20F] feel like I am only just now understanding what boundaries are...I got really physical with my male friend without explicitly getting his consent (he'd be silent) and then right before we actually had sex I asked again \"seriously are you okay with this,\" and he said \"yes\". The day afterward, I asked if he was okay about it multiple times afterwards and he said \"it wasn't rape, seriously we're fine, etc.\" Again, this all happened a few months ago. We've since just not talked about it and I thought it was just one of those things that happens between friends and we never talk about again - But then I just found out from another friend that he (the guy I slept with?) jokes about it being rape all the time. But we still see each other all the time and the friendship hasn't really changed. It's since been too long to apologize (again, I asked if it was rape afterwards and apologized profusely despite him saying it wasn't), and the mutual friend has expressed that he's telling me this specifically to make me feel uncomfortable as a joke, and that the friend I slept with bears me no \"ill-will because you didn't intend for it to be that way,\" but I don't know what to do now...\n\nThis came up again now because I asked his advice regarding a situation with a different friend and I pushed at their boundaries too. We didn't actually sleep together, but we expressed that we were very attracted to each other but couldn't sleep together due to making things awkward. I handled it like all things I do in my life - poorly and awkwardly - and he hasn't spoken to me since\n\nSeriously what the hell, how can I not know what \"yes\" or \"no\" is, I consider myself fairly well versed in what constitutes as consent but I guess I don't? I feel like I'm going to throw up and that I am a horrible human being.", "summary": "I feel like I raped my friend by not understanding boundaries, even though he's told me it wasn't rape, and I pushed another friend away in a similar manner"} {"id": "t3_4wuor8", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I did something awful while i was drunk", "post": "Hey reddit, I really need some fucking help.\n\nA few nights ago, me and some friends were having a going away party for my friend, and it was a few of my closest guy friends and some girls as well. That night I was being force fed shots and was unbelievably hammered to the point where im still recovering a few days later.\n\nBut a few days after said party, I was told that I had made out with a really pretty girl, so at first I thought to myself, \"Hey, go me.\" But as it turns out, I did something really fucking awful.\n\nI'm a pretty timid and easygoing guy, so it sounded really fucking weird what I did, but apparently I tried to get this girl to give me head, and was told she was crying as I tried it as well. \n\nAfter hearing about it, I felt so fucking awful, and she talked to me about it and was like \"It's fine, we were both just really drunk, it's fine, it's fine.\" But I honestly still feel so fucking awful about the whole situation, and it's really getting to me, because I know I would NEVER EVER do that in a sober mindset.\n\nWhat do I do? I really need help and dont know where to turn to.", "summary": "Got really drunk at a party, almost raped a girl, she says it's okay, I feel absolutely awful. Help."} {"id": "t3_1gvs00", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26/F] would like to spend the weekends with my SO [27/M] without his friend (28F) in the picture.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. I usually spend the weekends over at his place. For the past month, a mutual friend of his and his roommate as been coming around every Saturday or Sunday. Seems like whenever she comes by or has something going on at her place we end up hanging out with her/doing what she wants to do. \n\nShe's known my boyfriend and his roommate for a while. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable because it seems like she has zero interest in getting to know me/talking to me. I also have a gut feeling that she might be interested in my boyfriend but I have nothing really to back it up. I just don't feel comfortable hanging out around her and it makes me look forward less to the weekends because now I can expect to see her.\n\nI don't know how to bring this up without sounding weird and jealous.", "summary": "Seeing boyfriend's friend (who might be into him)too much lately on the weekends when I'd like time with him, not sure how to bring it up without sounding jealous."} {"id": "t3_w8s0y", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I am a 25 year old male full time software engineer. Where do I meet women?", "post": "I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. As the title says, I am 25, and I work as a software engineer. I am relatively fit, decently attractive (I think?), and quite socially capable though I tend to not go out much these days. I have a huge number of hobbies and passions aside from programming: writing, vehicle maintenance, Aikido/martial arts in general, astronomy/physics, guitar/bass/drums/production/composition/arrangement/music theory, video games, carpentry, and a ton of other stuff. I'm not trying to provide a comprehensive list but trying to convey that it is not terribly difficult for me to find something in common with most people.\n\nThat being said, I never meet any girls. My job is terrible for it. My hobbies tend to keep me to myself. Even when I do/did go out more, it was mostly to friends' houses to hang out or just bar hopping, neither of which are a good avenue for me (both places are meat markets and far too loud). So my question is: where do I go and/or what do I start doing to meet more ladies, preferably the more bookwormy/nerdy type? The only idea I have is to leverage mutual friends more and go to more parties, though those tend not to be my scene.\n\nI'd like to stress that I do not like the idea of going to, say, a Starbucks or Barnes and Noble and randomly approaching strangers. I consider that to be contrived and a terribly shallow way to meet people. I'm not looking for a girlfriend **this instant**, I just want to have more exposure so that there's more of a chance of meeting someone whom I might share things in common with. I am not looking for a one/two/n night stand.\n\nIf it matters, I live in a place that has several small cities within acceptable distance, but is more sparsely populated (lots of scenery, mountains, riverside pulloffs, etc).", "summary": "25 year old nerd with ability to speak in non-awkward way to females needs to know where to meet females, as his occupation and hobbies don't help much."} {"id": "t3_1putbx", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Just tell me that this is alright. That I'm not just an indecisive failure.", "post": "I've been in college for two and a half years now. I should be graduating in about a year, but I won't be walking across the stage staring out into the crowd at my proud parents. I failed out the second semester of my freshman year as an art studio major due to depression and an eating disorder of mega proportions. The following fall semester, I enrolled into a community college to do liberal arts classes and failed out again due to the still untreated depression. After receiving notice that I would no longer be able to receive financial aid, I realized I would not be able to continue school as I had no way of paying for it now. Coming to terms that I had issues, I decided to do an Appeal blaming my educational failure on my depression. After providing the necessary evidence, I won my appeal and was able to receive aid for the next semester. I ended up confessing to my parents after dealing with their frustration and confusion. I was then set up with a therapist who I visited throughout the spring semester of my sophomore year. Things were going well and I passed every single class and found a love for photography. Since I finally felt that I was in a good place, I transferred back to my university this fall semester, my junior year, as a biology major. I felt that a science major would make up for making my parents so unbelievable disappointed in me my freshman year. It did help that I held interests with animals and plants. After being immersed in the biology program, I realized that my interests still lied in art classes. Not to mention, the birth control prescription I had been on caused my depression to come back, causing a drop in my attendance and poorer grades in my heavy biology courses. I'm on a low dosage prescription now and it seems to not have any ill effects. I'm also not taking an science courses next semester, and retaking some of the art classes that I had previously failed out of. I don't even feel like telling any family or friends what I plan to study in school anymore, because it's different every year. Fuck me for changing my mind and feeling depressed for extended periods of time.", "summary": "Been in school three years, failed out a couple times, parents disappointed as fuck, been up and down depressed, tell me it's okay and second chances are real."} {"id": "t3_re5a8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend had an old boyfriend stay in her room the past two nights. She seems to think that's ok.", "post": "They are using the same bed, and did last night as well. \n\n(I am 21, she is 18 with the mind of a 30 year old)\n\nwe were OK tonight, but it had been bothering me the whole day, so with my friends advice I told her exactly how I felt about the situation (Thretened, amazed that she would think this was ok, ect.). She responded with venom, and turned every point that I made into something against me (that I am being selfish, who gives you the right to blah blah blah).\n\nThe only reason I was OK with this (she asked me) was that I really thought she would find him another bed to sleep in.\nI am so incredibly stupidly in love with this girl it's not even funny. I dont care if it ends, I just want it to end well so we can still talk.\n\n(back story)\n\nI am a romantic who opens themselves up to a person complealy when it comes to a committed relationship.\n\nwe have been dating for seven months\n\nFor the last month or so, she has been distant and wanting more space\n\nThis week we had a fight about \"space\", and I have been laying off as much as possible, letting her engage me. I stayed over Friday night, and we had a great Sunday morning, untill she rolls over at tells me that he is coming up up in a few hours. from that point on, she was very cold and distant.", "summary": "my partner wont admit that this is an incredibly shitty situation to put me in. how do I make her see that without pushing her further away"} {"id": "t3_gccnu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I am a geographically displaced intellectual in a world of meat-heads. How do I make friends here?", "post": "Long story short, i'm in the military and have been for 5 years now. I still keep close contact with my friends back home, but since coming into the military i have made 0 friends. \n\nWhy? It isn't because i'm anti-social or anything like that. It is because, in general, all the people i meet are of a much lower intelligence. I either alienate them with my thought process or, more often, I can stand to have a conversation with them.\n\nIs there some hobby i can pick up or some place i can go to interact with people more my speed? Reddit, in general, has been a nice distraction within a community of (sometimes) like minded people. \n\nI laughed for hours on end at the physics joke thread; not one person at my work got any of the jokes.", "summary": "Is there someplace intellectual people hang out, interact, whatever that i can go, or a hobby i should take up to find more people like me?"} {"id": "t3_3x4523", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not liking Star Trek", "post": "Over the past week I have been texting this girl, and it seemed to be going fairly well. She sent me a Star Trek gif and me being my honest self, I admitted that I didn't really like Star Trek. Well as it turns out, one of her favorite things is Star Trek. She proceeded to tell me that fact and has also informed me that since I don't really enjoy Star Trek, anything with her can't go any further. \n\nSince then I've been watching The Next Generation, a show I used to watch when I was younger but never really enjoyed as a child, and I'm actually really enjoying it. So, I decided to tell her, since the entire reason I decided to give it another chance was for her, to no avail. She told me that regardless of that fact its still not going to happen.", "summary": "Decided to be honest. The thing I didn't like was the girl's favorite. Lost a chance with her. Tried to like the thing. No chance still."} {"id": "t3_j5zvc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is your most memorable act of kindness and why?", "post": "Random or otherwise.\n\nI was walking to school one morning when I was about 15 when I heard a voice call out \"Hello? Excuse me? Young man?\". I turned and saw a frail old man who must have been in his 90s standing in the doorway of his house. I walked over and he asked if I could help him with something. I said I would help, so I followed him to a step-ladder in his kitchen. He said that he needed to change the bulb but he couldn't get up the ladder. \n\nAfter I changed the bulb, he said that he'd give me something for helping out. He reached for a small tray of change on his kitchen table and picked out the only 50p coin in his tray of 1p and 2p coins. I told him he didn't have to give me anything but he said that it was only right to reward helping out an old man.", "summary": "Helped an old man change a light bulb. As a reward he gave me the only 50p he had in his tray of 1p and 2p coins."} {"id": "t3_2iq56y", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not reading a card I bought.", "post": "This morning I bought a really cool letter-press made card with an otter on it. I knew it was a card but I bought it to cut the front off and frame for my apartment because my girlfriend and I love otters. I left it sitting out on the table hoping that when she got home before me she'd notice it and see what great taste in decoration I have. So later when I got home I asked if she'd seen the card and she said yes and asked if I'd read the inside of the card and if it was for her. I said no and that it was to cut up and put on the wall. Turns out the inside of the card reads \"I love you like no otter\" and she was mildly disappointed that it wasn't specifically for her.", "summary": "Bought a card for the front. Didn't read the sentimental text. Disappointed my girlfriend by not specifically getting it for her."} {"id": "t3_4vwf65", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21F] am sick of my boyfriend [24] wanting me to be a perfect girlfriend", "post": "Looking for some outside perspective as I don't even know who is in the wrong here, him or I. I'm so confused and not feeling great about the relationship.\n\nWe've been together for about a year, and in the beginning of the relationship, maybe I did try a little bit harder and make more of an effort with some things because it was a new relationship and I wanted him to like me. \n\nFast foward and I still try. On a good day, he's had two blowjobs and steak and eggs before he's even gotten out of bed (not in a 50s housewife kinda way, but in a 'I love you and want to do nice things for you vibe.') On a bad day, I have avoided him most of the day, but my mental health isn't great right now and sometimes I just need space and time alone because I don't feel great and don't want it to rub off on him. I have explained this to him, but he always accuses me of neglecting him or ignoring him. \n\nThe problem is, he has started to make me feel like a 50s housewife with his attitude. He expects the blow jobs, plates of food, attending to his every need girlfriend all the time and at any chance I don't, he tries to guilt trip me and says things about how our honeymoon phase is clearly over and how he \"sees how it is now.\" These comments hurt my feelings because I feel like it's my fault, but when I communicate these feelings he just says he's \"missing how things used to be.\" I honestly don't feel things used to be significantly different and that he might just be saying this to manipulate me into say, giving him oral sex when I don't want to. Does this sound right? I don't want to hit him with claims like these because I'm not sure. \n\nI know anyone who is kind enough to comment might say he's an asshole, but do you think I actually should do something to make him feel less neglected? I try my hardest but as I said, my mental health isn't great and I'm trying to focus on myself sometimes, which does make me feel guilty but I need to do it. Thanks in advance for any input.", "summary": "My boyfriend is saying I'm neglecting the relationship whenever I don't attend to his needs and I'm stuck of resolution"} {"id": "t3_1eughl", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[24M] When is it acceptable to talk to my ex [22F] again?", "post": "Its a bit more complicated than it seems.\n\nAbout a year ago, I began dating my best friend. For better or worse things didn't work out. I broke up with her about a month later because she felt more like a sister than a GF. I was not really physically attracted to her so I think that definitely has something to do with it.\n\nNow, I've been living without my best friend for year. We have had exactly zero contact since I broke up with her. The problem is I want my best friend back. Is it selfish of me to try to smooth things out with her and make an attempt at being friends again? I'm afraid she is going to say something along the lines of \"well if you cant handle me at my worst you cant have me at my best\" and just things like that. I really only want a friend and nothing more. Is this possible? She was always the one pushing for the relationship and I know she really wanted it to work out. How do I get her back as a friend and have things go back to the way they were before we got involved?", "summary": "I dated my best friend then broke up with her after a month. How do I get my best friend back? We haven't spoken in a year, do you think she is ready to move on too and be friends?"} {"id": "t3_2wjs78", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Taking an entry level job for an early-to-mid-stage tech startup that isn't offering immediate compensation... How do I make sure I'm making the right moves when negotiating a contract?", "post": "So, this is a very small tech startup (around 5 employees so far), that will probably receive more funding within the next few months through a few different means. I won't start receiving a paycheck until the company starts making enough money to justify paying me.\n\nThey're offering me a position in exchange for *either* equity in the company, which will be based on my earned \"salary\" as a proportion of the value of the company, or simply as a deferred salary that would be added onto my paycheck once I do start to make money. The equity could turn out to be pretty high as a percentage, simply based on the current (low) value of the company and the low number of partners so far.\n\nI won't try and sugarcoat it: The idea of working hard for zero pay doesn't sit well with me right away. But it is experience and I've been struggling to find an entry level job for a while, so it would inherently be a mistake to not take it. Since there's also no job security, I can't imagine there would be any significant downsides to quitting if a better (keyword: paying) opportunity comes along for me.\n\nSo, how can I make sure that I'm making a safe decision here when negotiating the contract? Obviously taking the equity option is a pretty big risk that could pay off MASSIVELY based on the amount of equity I could build up. But, I'm just worried that the wording of the contract could screw me out of a lot of money depending on what happens with the company. What if the company gets bought out before I make any money? What if I decide to leave the company before I make any money? What if the company isn't even able to raise enough money to pay me (assuming I take the deferred salary)?", "summary": "Taking a non-paying job that will eventually become a paying a job, but want to make sure I'm covering all possible bases to make sure I make a good decision."} {"id": "t3_4t7j7x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24F] am anxious that my boyfriend [28M] and I aren't hitting relationship milestones.", "post": "Hello!\n\nMy boyfriend and I have been together for about 5-6 months now, and things are going very well! We went through a pretty rough patch for about half this time (no one's fault - stressful outside circumstances that placed strain on the relationship) but things have started to get a lot better since mid-end of June. He is back to his normal self, which is caring, affectionate, and considerate. We text more now, and we very recently had a conversation where he said sometimes he felt like he didn't know how to care for me, and that he wanted me to express my needs more so he could fulfill them. Objectively, things are wonderful. \n\nDespite this, I can't shake off some doubt he expressed about our relationship back when we were in the rough patch (where he admits he wasn't acting or feeling like himself). I'm afraid we aren't hitting any of the traditional relationship milestones (such as leaving clothes over or saying ILY or meeting family, etc.). I know he has a slow timeline (he didn't leave clothes over at his ex's place until 1.5 years in, when they were \"really serious\"), so I'm trying not to take it personally, but it feels personal. \n\nI'm not necessarily looking for something as serious as The One right now, but I also want to know that our relationship has some momentum. I am ready to at least say \"I love you,\" but I'm worried he's not. \n\nDoes anyone else have similar stories about either dealing with relationship anxiety or dating someone (or being someone) with a slow timeline? \n\nThank you!", "summary": "Bf and I have a wonderful, happy relationship but I am afraid he will never love me because we aren't hitting relationship milestones. This is making me anxious."} {"id": "t3_2f6yb2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "A guy [M/20] that I hung out with last night asked me [F/19] to dinner, how do I make my platonic intention clear?", "post": "This may seem dumb to even ask, but here goes. \n\nIf you went through my post history, you'd see that my boyfriend broke up with me about a week and a half ago. I am not in a proper mindset for casual dating yet, just minor flirting at maximum. \n\nI hung out with this guy last night at a party we both showed up to and decided to leave and go to another party at his friend's house together. Nothing happened except he was minorly flirting with me all night and walked me home, saying that we should get brunch the next day, and I tried to subtly blow it off by making a joke about how I would be too hungover for brunch. Today he texted me asking about my ankle (I had injured it at his party) and then said \"do you want to grab food tonight or no?\"\n\nI just need to make my intent clear about being just friends, but I don't want to be overly presumptuous if he is indeed not thinking anything more than us being platonic himself. He is a flirty person in general, so I don't want to misinterpret him either. I just don't want to make a fool of myself.", "summary": "guy asked me to dinner, I want to be just friends, how do I say this to him without seeming presumptuous or assuming of his intention?"} {"id": "t3_4nt834", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [30 M] struggle with dating girls who are not ethnically Chinese/Taiwanese.", "post": "I'm half Caucasian half Chinese/Taiwanese, but identify very strongly with Asian culture/as an Asian individual. I speak fluent Chinese, have many Asian friends, etc.\n\nThroughout my life I've dated people of many different races. For example, I just got out of a relationship with a white girl, who I was dating for 2 years. The relationship was great. She was very friendly, our personalities were pretty similar, and we trusted each other very much. We were just very comfortable around each other.\n\nUnfortunately, inevitably I would get the nagging feeling in my mind that if I married this woman, I would be giving up a strong part of my identity/culture. If I had kids, they would be 3/4 white, so basically white. Most of her friends are white. I would basically be viewed as just a white guy who married a white woman.\n\nThis isn't so much that I'm an \"Asian\" guy who doesn't know how to communicate/work with people of other races. I myself am of mixed race, and I love the Caucasian part of my heritage, and it's something that is definitely a significant part of me. It's more so just that I feel not marrying an ethnic Chinese/Taiwanese would be completely changing my life and who I am as a person.\n\nSometimes I find it tough when there is a girl who is not Chinese/Taiwanese I hit it off with, but then when she wants to take it further into a relationship, I feel bad because I know inevitably I will have to break things off before marriage. IDK, fuck. It's hard for me to describe what I'm feeling. Any advice or thoughts are appreciated.", "summary": "I find it hard to date girls who aren't ethnically Chinese/Taiwanese, because I feel doing so gives away a big part of my heritage/culture and who I am as a person."} {"id": "t3_lcpg9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "HELP! how do I get my dog to stop chewing on all my expensive shit????", "post": "My dog is a four month old half chihuahua half wirehair terrier mix. She used to be a sweet adorable dog, housebroken, and two weeks ago she got into some sort of manic state and started chewing on everything and pooping on everything. She has ruined two laptop chargers, four cellphone chargers, a whole slew of my daughter's toys (including some toys that used to be mine when i was her age and an expensive parasol my mother bought her) and has recently started getting into my potted plants. I walk her twice a day, feed her well, and she always has water. I work from 8-3 every day but in the afternoon my daughter and I walk her and play with her. I have tried lots of things like putting \"phooey\" on my rug (which she also ruined along with my decorative couch pillows) and keeping her in a crate all day. The problem with crate training is that she cries from the moment i put her in it until the moment i take her out. \n\nIm at my wits end and sort of desperate. I can't afford to replace this stuff anymore, and if I can't find some sort of remedy soon I am going to take her to the humane society, despite the fact that both my daughter and I love our \"molly wolly.\" I just don't know what to do anymore. Please, pet owners of reddit, help a newbie out? I don't know how to make this situation a positive one. Any suggestions?", "summary": "My four month old puppy is a destructive menace. I do not what else to try, crate training was a massive fail."} {"id": "t3_3cvn7x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (17F) want to ask out another 17F but I rarely see her.", "post": "So I've only seen this girl at roller derby (typical, right?) twice, but I find her really attractive. She's on a team and comes to the very occasional practice to help out us newbies.\n\nI sent her a friend request on Facebook in May after adding a couple other skaters, and she accepted. I messaged her about practice a little bit and mentioned that I wish I could improve. She said that she would help me out, but she didn't have much free time (ouch). I played it off by saying that I didn't even know if she lived near me so no worries (skaters come from about an hour drive radius, so she could be a ways away). The next day her status changed to in a relationship. QUESTION: Is she totally uninterested in me or was it just because she was about to ask another girl out?\n\nAnyways, she's back to single now (unsure of when it happened, but probably relatively recently). Her instagram status mentions that she's single with the little open lock emoji after it, so is that a sign that she's open to dating again (as in not totally bummed about it)?\n\nAs I mentioned at the beginning, I rarely see this girl. Do I have to wait until I see her again, or could I invite some derby girls (including her obviously) to go do something and hope she joins? Or is there some other tactic I could use? I just don't want to randomly message her right after she got out of a relationship, but if there's a way to make it not-creepy then I'm totally down to hear your thoughts! Thanks guys :)", "summary": "I want to ask out a girl I hardly know or see. Is there a good way to do this or am I screwed?"} {"id": "t3_2f1ze0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [38 M] wants to separate from my wife of 9 years. Don't know how to even start that discussion", "post": "Hi Reddit, I am married with a 2-yr old kid. I was never truly in love with my wife and always looked at the marriage as something that needs to be done as part of being a human being. This is partly due to my Asian heritage. But now I feel that I am being dishonest to my wife as well as myself.\n\nWe are quite different people. For example, I have a totally different set of hobbies, interests, etc., and I want to do many of these activities with a companion. I want to go backpacking in Asia, want to go hiking, but my wife hates these things. Worse still, she doesn't want me to go out with anyone unless they are males. (I can't even go back to meet my parents in my home country regularly because my wife doesn't like that.) I feel that I am losing precious time and will never be able to fulfill my dreams this way.\n\nAfter thinking a lot, I have decided that I want to bring this up with my wife. The problem is that she is very suspicious of everything I do. So if I bring this up, she is likely to think that I am having an affair and that's why I want to separate. No sane discussion will happen from that point onward.\n\nJust to be sure, I am going to make the lives of my wife and my kid financially secure. That will mean I will give up on a lot of my retirement savings but that's the price I am willing to pay.\n\nI am totally clueless whether we should meet a marriage councilor for this or I should see a psychologist first. I don't know anyone who went to a marriage councilor. This is an alien situation for me. My friends who got divorced had a pretty clean-cut break up where they just walked out. I don't want to be a ruthless person like that.", "summary": "I want to separate from my wife of 9 years but don't know how to open up this discussion. Should I go through a marriage councilor? Would that help or complicate the matters?"} {"id": "t3_1pt26e", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "How do you organize and store your photos?", "post": "After becoming parents six months ago, my wife and I have struggled to keep our photos of our little one organized. We started using google drive, but it is hard to share. And I personally try to keep facebook to a minimum, but I would love to share with some close family and friends. When I share my google drive files with family most of them (grandparents) are not tech savvy enough understand the concept. I very much want to keep our photos for the long haul, I have lost so many when computers die in the past, but what good are the photos if I can't share them. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much", "summary": "Don't want to put all my daughter's photos on facebook and don't want to store them all on my local computer hard-drive. Looking for a way to keep photos organized and shared with close family only."} {"id": "t3_2ckixy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] hooked up with my FWB [25M] and he said I love you multiple times while we had sex and has never said it before, ever.", "post": "He lives in another city than me but visits often because his family lives in the city I live in. Just about every time he visits we end up hooking up a couple times. I've known him for about four years and we've hooked up about less than ten times. Two of those years I was in a monogamous relationship with someone else.\n\nThis past weekend we hooked up after partying with friends (alcohol was involved) and he said \"I love you\" multiple times while we were having sex. The sex was not on the intimate side, we got a bit freaky actually. He has never told me he loves me at any point in our friendship. I thought everyone knew that it is a cardinal rule not to say \"I love you\" to a FWB. We've hooked up after drinking before so I don't think that's the reason. And he's been single since I met him so it's not because he just got out of a relationship. \n\nI'm trying to just blow it off but I'm so perplexed. No FWB has ever told me that they love me during sex. And I can admit that I could have more serious feelings for him if I allowed myself to. I think that makes me so curious as well. I wish I could just ask him but I don't want to make it weird.", "summary": "My FWB told me he loved me multiple times while we were having sex and he has never told me he loved me at any point in our relationship. Should I just ignore it or ask him about it?"} {"id": "t3_1acq6s", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Pulled over by cop for the first time ever. Not sure how to feel.", "post": "I'm 26 years old and have had a clean driving record from the time I got my license, to now. I was on my way to work and will not lie, I pass by a school that I disregard the \"school zone\" speed limit for. This is mainly because it take only about 0.1 or 0.2 miles until I pass the school zone. Once past the school zone you're allowed to resume 35-40 mph. Obviously when you are in the school zone it's supposed to be 25 mph. \n\nI was picked up for going 41 in a 25 zone. There's no debating it. I was compliant and cordial to the officer to avoid any chance of confrontation. The end result? A $54 dollar fine for having license plate holder that is not legal in my state. He stressed he could have given me 6 points for speeding in a school zone though. Told me where I could go to dispute it and that we can tell the judge how I could be possibly dangerous to the children of the school, including the judge's grandson. \n\nPart of me wanted to argue that I was just out of the school zone. The other part is thankful that this guy did not throw 6 points at me? Could you guys reaffirm that I should be feeling relieved to walk out this with only a $54 fine? Or was I wronged? He was extremely stern and brisk in the conversation. Guess I'm not completely used to that.", "summary": "Never gotten a single ticket in my life. Not sure how to feel about. Could have gotten 6 points, but got a $54 fine instead. Questioning how I feel about this and if I got off easy."} {"id": "t3_10su4h", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "FIXED: Reddit, I will do anything that is legal. How can I make $5,000 in the next 10 days? (x-post from /r/LPT /r/Assistance and /r/AskReddit)", "post": "**If there is a better sub that I can x-post this on, please let me know.**\n\nI am currently a financial burden on my family who has very little. \n\nI was recently in an accident that totaled my car. I bought a $900 dollar car (that was all I could afford) only to have it break down needing a new engine. I have about $400 dollars right now and I can get rides to my internship from my dad. I hate wasting his money for gas and I live at home eating my parent's food. \n\n$250 a month in loans are coming and I have a better paying job lined up that can get me out of this situation and I convinced them to give me 12 days before I start.\nTo be able to work there I'll need a reliable car and reliable computer. My parents' work schedule won't allow them to get me there on time.\n\n**Skills**\n\nI am a college graduate with a PR and Graphic Design degree. I have experience working in IT (why I love reddit) and I can teach swimming since I swam in college. I have a DLSR 5100 camera and photo/video skills. Will do any manual labor if that's what's needed. \n\n**I will work day and night. I will shovel poop. Whatever I can.** \n\nI don't think this is an unreasonable number, and if this produces any results I will post with the progress at the end of the 10 days. \n\n*Additionally, I am sure I am not alone in the post college struggles and any advice will help us all.", "summary": "I will do anything to make $5,000 in 10 days to make things better for me and my family. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_ndtp4", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "(M)Need advice on Dating a Girl with Rheumatoid Arthritis", "post": "

My Background


\n

I am twenty years old I live on my own. I am currently working as a draftsman to save up money for school. I am a very open-minded individual that often feels drawn to help others with their issues. My last relationship I was cheated on and haven't even gone on a date in over a year.

\n

Our relationship


I had met this girl(23) about two months ago in a very seemingly odd way over the internet. She is going to school to get her certification to work on Airplanes and lives with her parents. When we first started to get to know each other, she told me about her condition and asked me if I was judgmental. Having quite a few issues of my own, and knowing well of the dangers of autoimmune diseases (My dad has MS), I told her it didn't bother me at all because it didn't. We seem to share many of the same thoughts and experiences and things look very promising. I realized at that moment that I was going to need advice over the issue.

\n

Her Condition

\n

She apparently used to run cross country and work as a mechanic while doctors were puzzled over her condition. This badly damaged her joints to where she has to take pain medication often, but can still function normally. She was officially diagnosed with RA a year ago. It already affects her ability to work and might even prevent her from pursuing what she loves ( working on airplanes ). She takes many different kinds of medicine to treat it although she has told me that it makes her miserable.

My Questions


How can I be supportive towards her? What flare up symptoms should I look out for and how can I help her with it? How should I approach intimacy and sex? What should I say and do to make her feel as comfortable as possible? Any advice is appreciated.

", "summary": "


I a male of 20 need advice on dating a girl of 23 with Rheumatoid Arthritis

"} {"id": "t3_t1gm1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A question to the wise and weathered Redditors: Is financial responsibility during youth worth the sacrifice? What did you do or what would you do differently?", "post": "Explanation: I grew up in a lower middle class single-parent home. My brother pretty much raised me while my mom and grandmother worked to keep the family afloat. When school wasn't in session my brother and I would be lucky to get one meal a day. Most of the time we were left to fend for ourselves. I know how to be poor and I know how to go without and I appreciate and work for everything I have.\n\nI'm bookish, though, so I was able to breeze through school and get into a decent state school which had a bunch of incentives for accomplished students. In addition to taking money off the top of the tuition costs, I qualified for a bunch of scholarships. What those two didn't cover, I covered with student loans. I also lived off-campus in a modest apartment and worked my ass off third shift so I could pay my bills and go to school full time while incurring as little debt as possible. Now I have my Bachelor's and I'm two years out of college with only 17K debt. \n\nI just got my first credit card three months ago, which I only use for transportation-related costs like airfare and train tickets to see family. I pay it off at the end of each billing cycle. I have a budget/declining checkbook that I fashioned for myself in Excel and I budget myself strictly and toss between 150 and 200 a month into savings so I'll have a backup in case of an emergency. \n\nI go out once or twice a month with friends and drink or what have you, which is fun. I feel like, financially, I'm doing everything right but I'm not seeing any real benefit to it. Perhaps this is a \"Grass is greener\" scenario, but when I compare myself to friends and peers I see myself sacrificing a lot of opportunities for travel and frivolity for not a lot of benefit. I feel like I'm wasting my 20s being prudent while those around me are enjoying their 20s being silly... and they have more money in the bank than me.", "summary": "Grew up poor; Worked my ass off; Now financially stable and independent and wondering if I'm doing it wrong or I missed something somewhere."} {"id": "t3_2uuych", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (22f) boss/landlord (40+M) used me, replaced me and is ending the lease all at once.", "post": "Ok so my boss, who by chance is also my land lord is probably not the greatest person in the world. At work he routinely pays us 2 weeks to a month late, brags about where he is spending the money elsewhere and is sham contracting all of us. \n\nWhen he became my land lord I was already working for him and was looking for an apartment in the city. It's really hard to get a nice place and the rent is extremely expensive here so I was happy to move in to a gorgeous apartment. My rent has always been on time. I look after the place, pay my bills and don't complain. A great tenant. \n\nAt work I do my job and more- going out of my way to do free web design, organise promotions etc when in reality I'm just a receptionist there. In the time I have been there (9ish months) he has not done a day of work. Opting to sleep in his office instead. Even has a pillow and a tv in there. \n\nRecently he hired someone new, a friend who is recently divorced and couldn't find a job. He didn't have the available hours to give to the guy so instead he makes them - by pushing the other staff out. \nYesterday he was bragging to his friend and the manager (who is a close friend of mine) that he is going to push me out and sell the house as soon as I don't have any shifts there. My friend, concerned, relayed this onto me. \n\nThis morning he asks my availability and then rosters the new guy into all of my available shifts- obviously pushing me out. Then gets the manager to tell me I don't have those shifts but asks if I can come in just to train the new guy on the website creation etc which I had made for the business. \nI told the manager that I can't, because if I'm not on shift I'll be finding hours at my other job. In reality I just don't want to help them at all. \n\nSo all in all I've been pushed out of my job, going to loose my house and have no idea what the hell to do. Pls help reddit.", "summary": "leapt over oceans for someone who wouldn't jump over a puddle for me and now I'm being screwed in the ass with no lube."} {"id": "t3_3dw3ce", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm [19/f] in love with my best friend [19/m]", "post": "I just finished my first year of college, and I met my best friend there. He lived across the hall from me, and I saw him pretty much every day of my life for nine months.\n\nWe were good friends first semester, then got really really close second semester. We tell each other everything. He would tell me about his family life, struggles with his ex, etc, and I would do just the same. We're entirely honest with each other, and there's this level of comfort and easiness about the relationship that makes the friendship so much different than any other friendships I've had.\n\nSo the school year ended and I live out of state, so I hadn't seen him in person since I left school. I started to notice some feelings, but I was certain that it was a misplaced sense of missing him.\n\nRecently he came to visit for the weekend, and I knew. I realized I had had feelings for him for a long time, but that I had just been ignoring and/or burying them. In the interest of honesty, I told him. He didn't say much, but it went over okay. He said it doesn't change anything, and that he's my friend, and that our relationship means a lot to him.\n\nI'm okay with being his friend, but why do I feel so horrible? What should I do? It's not like any other \"crush\" or anything, where if it doesn't work I can just stop seeing the person, because he's my best friend. He's the person I go to. He means so much to me, and I feel horrible inside.", "summary": "I'm in love with my best friend I met a year ago in college, and I told him and our friendship is completely fine, but I feel terrible."} {"id": "t3_350emd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19/F] have a monster crush on my professor [31/F]. In dire need of some sense talked into me.", "post": "I don't identify as gay and have never had a serious crush on another girl, but I seriously can't get my professor out of my head and it's driving me nuts. Tomorrow is my last day at college and I'll be moving out of town forever on the 21st of May and I don't want it to be one of those things that haunt me forever.\n\nBut guys, this is ridiculous right? There's no chance of a 19 y/o undergrad having *any* kind of relationship with a ~30 y/o professional with a PhD, right? \n\nThis all started as just a way to entertain myself in class, but then there was some confusing eye contact and she kept saying if there's *any* way she can help me do well in her class to tell her and saying how good of a student I was. Now she looks away whenever she sees me in the hall. I don't even think she's into women, but she does support the LGBT community a lot and does some things that could be questionable. \n\nAnyway, crush my dreams into smithereens and tell me how ridiculous I am! I've *got* to stop thinking about this; it's consuming my life!", "summary": "I can't stop thinking about my professor and as my days at this college and in this town draw to a close, I'm getting some anxiety about never expressing my feelings!"} {"id": "t3_4cfi6q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [F15] broke up with me [M15] after a year of dating and I feel empty", "post": "We've been dating for a year and it was genuinely the best year of my life. We did have some fights because I wasn't the best, but I thought I had gotten better. Apparently, she thought otherwise.\n\nWe fought last night about it, and I thought we had fixed things. She broke up with me today, saying she was unhappy and over our relationship. That was the moment I realized I need to let her go. I can't keep her in a situation where she is unhappy just because she makes me happy.\n\nSo I let her go, but even though I know it was the right choice I feel empty without her. She was my only real friend that I could go to with any issues I had. Not only did I lose my best friend, but I lost my girlfriend too. I feel lost.", "summary": "My girlfriend said she was unhappy, and I let her go because it was the right choice. I still feel empty."} {"id": "t3_2qpbxq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] and my ex [20F] 9 month relationship, 3 months on and feeling worse than ever.", "post": "Hello everyone, I have been a lurker here for a while and wanted to post my story after going through this horrible time.\n\nBackground: Met this girl around this time last year. Asked her out on New years day and was in a relationship for 9 months. Just to add this was my first real relationship and the first time I have been in love.\n\nShe went to uni in September and broke it off with me 1 week into uni. She told me her feelings changed for me a while back but she couldn't tell me in person and that I was 'not the one'. I was and still am heartbroken from it. I know I learnt many things from this relationship but I was honestly not expecting it. I honestly put everything I had into this relationship. \n\nNow to where I am now. She came back from uni for the Christmas holidays and I thought I would be ready to meet up 'just as friends'. I was wrong...We played catch up and I asked for another chance (I know I shouldn't have). She turned me down of course and this has just extended my recovery. \n\nMy problem is I am deeply unhappy with myself and my life right now. I can't help but think I wasn't good enough and that she was too good for me (really she is stunning) and she had a lot of qualities I admired.\n\nI can't stop thinking about her, it is driving me crazy. It has made me realise I am not happy with many things outside this relationship and I can honestly say I feel depressed, nothing makes me happy any more. I am a different person and I feel like I am alienating myself from my friends and family. Everything seems to be spiralling down hill and I don't know what to do. This particular time is rough because I know it was when we first started dating and we spent my best New years together last year. I can't stop comparing where I was last year to where I am now.\n\nAny advice would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to ask more questions if that will help.", "summary": "First love broke up with me right as she went to uni, feeling stuck in life and has been getting worse since. Please help."} {"id": "t3_qyfsy", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So Sex Kind of Sucks (No pun intended) Am I Doing it Wrong?", "post": "To start things off, this is a throw away account. \n\nLast night I lost my virginity, and it was really rather disappointing. I'm an 18 and a half year old male- and I was pretty fucking excited to FINALLY see what I had been missing out on. Once things got started though, i found it generally dissatisfying. I'm not sure if it was her, or me- but it didn't actually feel that amazing. It was a lot of work for not a lot of benefit. I also lasted for, what seems to me, a ridiculously long time, upwards of 35 minutes. It just seemed sweaty, messy, and mediocre. I mean, I would blame it on a condom- but she uses birth control so that wasn't necessary. \n\n She seemed to be really enjoying it, and even had an orgasm herself- so I'm wondering if it's just that I don't have the right mindset or what. Does anyone else find Sex to be incredibly overrated? Was this just a bad experience? Are there things that I can do to improve the experience?", "summary": "18 year old male lost virginity, mildly disappointed with sex. Is everyone else blowing it out of proportion or am I doing it wrong?"} {"id": "t3_33qfnz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 F] with my fiance [30 M] and female friend", "post": "My fianc\u00e9 and I have been together for about two years. His friend group is mixed male and female and he had a close female friend when I met him. I was pretty certain something had gone on in the past (they made out 5 yrs ago, slept in the same bed years ago, and he told her he didn't like her and nothing would happen) but certain he doesn't really like her - he had his chance and turned her down. He used her for a confidence boost which is shitty but I have no concerns He's going to cheat or anything. They stayed good friends after all that. \n\n She was nice to me at first but then became weird towards him, ignoring him when he spoke and bein short, just generally cold. when we got engaged everyone congratulated him except her. He was pretty sad about it since they'd been friends for a long time. The she started leaving me off group messages 'by accident.' I told him to confront her or stop making effort to talk to her - it was embarrassing watching him get ignored and he would come home mad about it and it was affecting me. He confronted her and she wanted to 'talk about it.' I said if it was me I wouldn't bother chasing her by going to meet her. She could talk via text. He didn't respond, now he thinks there's a rift in his friend circle bc they aren't speaking. He says I 'told him' not to go speak to her. I feel im getting blamed for her behavior and want to just avoid his friends group altogether bc her jealousy of me being with him obviously caused this. Now he is saying I'm making him choose between his friends and me.", "summary": "how do I handle fiances jealous friend being an attention-seeking asshole without 'telling him what to do'? Do I step back and avoid his friends altogether?"} {"id": "t3_1t74ip", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend had his friend move in 5 months ago and it's getting to be too much. What should I do?", "post": "I'm 26/f, bf & friend are both 26. We've been dating a little over 4 years and living together for 2+.\n\n5 months ago, my bf told his friend he could move in with us. The friend had just signed a lease in Colorado, so my bf says you can stay with us until you find a subleaser for your old place. \n\nI pay rent and all the bills. He can't afford to split utilities because he's still paying his Colorado rent. He's not looking for a subleaser for that place either because apparently his room mates over there are picky about who they live with.\n\nANYWAY. So it looks like he's about to stay for a year or so. This isn't OK with me. I've brought it up to my bf and he's basically said, \"What can we do? He's broke.\" My bf likes him living with is because they're in a band together and they play video games. My bf doesn't pay utilities either. \n\nI hate it though. He doesn't clean or pay bills and I'd rather just live with my bf. Ugh.\n\nI think I just had to vent. Any ideas?", "summary": "Bf brought in a \"temporary\" room mate, but it's driving me crazy and I don't know if he'll ever leave"} {"id": "t3_1v51fk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24 M] girlfriend [23 F] of five months lied to me about her previous sexual experiences.", "post": "I've been dating my girlfriend for five months and things have generally been going well. When we first began dating, my girlfriend told me that she had slept with another guy \"recently\". I was okay with it since it was all in the past.\n\nWe recently got into a small argument and it came up that she had actually slept with him only a few days before we met. I was slightly more jealous but again, it all happened in the past, so I let it go.\n\nHOWEVER, after some investigation and asking her again, I discovered that she actually slept with him during the first week we met (we went on dates for a week and began officially dating the second week). I was furious. She profusely apologized and promised never to lie again. She said she lied because she was afraid I would get angry and break up with her. She also says she cut off all contact with him and never really wanted to sleep with him in the first place (since she had just met me) but he just kept insisting and they had been FWB in the past. I don't know what to think. Should I let it pass? Do I have a right to be angry?", "summary": "Girlfriend says she slept with guy before she met me. Turns out, she slept with him the first week we met. How should I react?"} {"id": "t3_4urxk4", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20 F] got dumped by ex [20 M] after 8 months because he's studying abroad for a year, but wants to spend the last month together?", "post": "My ex and I were each others first love and real relationship. For the past 8 months we never really fought, cared, and supported each other.\n\nMy mindset was always to have a long distance relationship, but I recently found out he did not feel the same. He broke up with me because he didn't want a LTR would have been fake and superficial. He didn't want to worry about texting someone all the time. He was also scared at the intensity of our relationship and felt that it was either we would do a LTR for a year and get married or we would break up now and experience more. He tells me he still loves me and cares about me, and we wouldn't have broken up at all if he wasn't leaving for a year.\n\nHe is leaving in one month and wants to \"have as much contact as I want\". Meaning he wants to see me but will respect my decision if I don't. Also- he's not just trying to hook up before he leaves, if all we did was talked he would be happy. I have talked to him in person post breakup and things aren't weird at all. I actually had a surprisingly good time despite all my emotions.\n\nI'm really hurt, angry, and confused but at the same time I still love him. He was my best friend. I'm currently taking summer courses for college and am away from my hometown, friends, and family. My options are to\n\nA) Make the most of this summer by spending time with someone I truly care about and makes me feel so good, but possibly make it harder for me to move on. Being with him would probably get my hopes up that we would get back together.\n\nB) Spend all my time alone and sad, but not sticking around for someone who is going to leave anyway. I could potentially save myself hurt in the long run.", "summary": "Would you spend time with someone you love, who is leaving in a month, who is cutting the relationship off as soon as he leaves, but claims to be in love with you?"} {"id": "t3_1xl7gz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27F] live with my mother [63F], I need your help. My relationship with my mother is deteriorating.", "post": "Reddit, I need some advice. My mother and I have been really close my whole life. A couple months ago she started a long distance relationship with an old friend. He is a really cool guy and I really want this relationship to succeed for her. She was with my dad for many years and their divorce a few years ago was a long time coming. \n\nShe has invested herself entirely into this new relationship. She spends hours on the phone with him. She drops everything as soon as he calls. She revolves all of her waking hours around him and when he will be calling her. She has charged several thousand dollars on her credit card to go on trips to see him. She makes enough money to support this kind of spending but she has never wanted to charge anything before. She hates having credit card debt. \n\nMy problem with all of this is that I feel like it is not healthy for her to give up so much of her own identity. She is making the relationship her identity. We have always been very close and we are really like best friends. Ever since this relationship started I feel like I am being disrespected a lot. If we are in the middle of a conversation, which is rare these days, she will literally walk away from me in the middle of a sentence if her phone rings. She will often cancel plans with me or not do something she said she would do because he called. She is even considering leaving her very good job to go live with him on his farm. We have a lease together and I could not afford both halves of the rent.\n\nAny time I try and bring up these issues with her, she just thinks I am jealous of the time she spends with her boyfriend. I am worried that she is investing too much of herself into this relationship too early. Honestly, the worst part about all of it is that she used to be the most reliable person in my life and now I can't count on her at all. \n\nDo you think I'm overreacting and I'm not being supportive, or is she getting out of control?", "summary": "My mom got a new boyfriend. Now her whole life revolves around him. Am I justified in feeling like she's getting out of control?"} {"id": "t3_3863mx", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Started 2nd job as a summer intern, need help on how I will pay taxes on it", "post": "Hello everyone, \n\nI have been working as a Patient Care Assistant at a local hospital in Ohio for almost a year now. The taxes I pay for this job are in good order. I am also in school but am on my summer break. \n\nI was able to land a summer internship in which I will be paid almost $5,000 for ten weeks of work. My first day there I was asking my boss what paperwork I need to sign so I can get my paycheck in order. He tells me that instead of putting me on the payroll for only three months he will invoice the amount we agreed upon and cut me a check. \n\nI am fine with getting paid this way; I just want to be sure what kind of taxes I may be looking at so I know an approximate amount to save for tax time.\n\nBased on this information is there any advice on how to maximize my tax savings? \nCould I put it down as supplemental income?\nAre there any forms I should be asking for from my boss?\n\nThat is all the information I have at the moment. I can always update this when I get the first half of my check at the end of the month.", "summary": "I work while I am in school, got a second job as a summer intern. Will not be placed on the payroll for the 2nd job, they will just cut a check for me. "} {"id": "t3_fyr3t", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is it wrong for professors to grade on handwriting?", "post": "Let me start this off by saying that [I have dysgraphia] aka, my handwriting just isn't that good and there's nothing I can do about it.\n\nIn the past I've had a few professors try to comment on my handwriting, but I've always made sure to let them know that there really is little I can do about it. \n\nUnfortunately, I told one of my professors about it recently as he was calling me out in front of the class over my bad handwriting, and he said \"Dyscrapia? What's that, something you made up? hahaha\". \n\nI mean, I tried to explain it's a real thing, blah blah blah, but that shit is pretty insensitive to call me out in front of the whole class simply because my handwriting isn't up to par, let alone the fact he told me he was going to stop collecting my work if \"You don't start writing better.\"\n\nNote, this was not an English teacher or anything of the sorts, it was an engineering class.", "summary": "My handwriting is bad, I can't do anything about it, professor is giving me shit for it, should I see student disability over this?"} {"id": "t3_12dygr", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I approach this girl I want to be with?", "post": "Here's the situation: I've only every been in one \"relationship\" with a girl, and I use quotations because it was never even a real relationship. I invested years into it, and it crashed and burned about a year ago. The problem is, ever since her, I can't approach a girl I'm attracted to and ask her out! There's this stunning girl at my school that I have a real attraction to, but I just have no idea where to start. Every idea I run through in my head just ends up with me looking stupid, and her rejecting me. My question is this: How can I approach her, and get to know her?", "summary": "Pretty socially awkward/shy around girls, would really like some advice on how to approach an intimidatingly attractive girl."} {"id": "t3_1pfu9x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24 F] may have been ambitious when I told boyfriend [26 M] that I wanted to participate in a threesome", "post": "I have always fantasized about threesomes, so when I told my boyfriend (of one year) that I wanted to do one, he was very excited. A few days ago I mentioned I really wanted to do it, to which he replied that he knew a girl that may be interested and would contact her if, and only if, I were serious. I said yes and he messaged her and she said she would be up for having drinks with us in two weeks time.\n\nNow that I am not exactly \"turned on\" about the idea (it comes and goes) I am now absolutely uncomfortable with the idea that they are friends, have known each other for a while, and that she used to be sexually interested in him. On top of that, they had made small talk (catch up) since his proposal and I am now getting increasingly uncomfortable with not only the idea, but with him.\n\nWas it a mistake to let my boyfriend choose the girl? I am now getting angry at him for something he didn't even start, and I need help calming down about it. Can someone tell me if I am being irrational (I hope) or whether i have a reason to be worried that he is now interested in having sex with this girl regardless of threesome?", "summary": "Asked for a threesome with another girl, boyfriend contacts his female friend, and I am now angry and need to calm down"} {"id": "t3_2rjdko", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [28 M] self-confidence is very low after many failed relationships. Feel like something is wrong with me. Worried I won't find anyone.", "post": "I have a lot of good traits. Ironically, all my good traits are currently hurting my self-confidence, because I keep failing in relationships and don't understand what it is that I can improve.\n\nFrom the outside looking in, people assume my love life is effortless. People tell me I'm a good looking guy, I'm into a lot of hobbies (hiking, kayaking, woodworking), I'm in good shape, I have a great job that's allowed me to be financially stable, I volunteer at a retirement home, I'm not overbearing, and I'm not jealous, I try to be genuinely kind...\n\nMy friend's regularly joke that if they could transfer their \"game\" into my body and had my life that they would be killing it with the women. I know they're trying to help by telling me I have a lot to offer, but all it really makes me think is: \"If I'm so great then what the fuck is wrong with me that prevents me from getting a relationship to work?\"\n\nI've gotten to the point where I'm afraid to seek out new relationships because it hurts to be rejected. I'm always trying to improve myself, but I don't exactly what to focus on. Currently I'm just working on myself and trying to be happy, but I would also like to start pursuing dating new people.\n\nI'm 28 years old and have always dreamed of having a family, coaching my children in sports or just supporting whatever it is they want to do with their lives. I know I'm still young, but I'm starting to feel old. The only problem is that there isn't anyone in sight. I'm beginning to have doubts that it will ever happen. It bums me out. Should I try online dating or something?", "summary": "After many failed relationships, I feel like something is wrong with me. Friends telling me I'm the \"perfect guy\" only makes me feel like my personality must be terrible..."} {"id": "t3_3cdkal", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my bf [22 M] 1year. Snooped and found proof of cheating early in relationship: Do I drop it or confront.", "post": "I am a 22 year old female who has been dating someone for one year (as of this July). For the first time I snooped through his phone. He left it at my place a curiosity got the best of me. I found some proof he cheated (I consider it pretty solid?) texts from two girls from last august saying things like \" I had fun last night, I wish I could have spent the night\" and \"text me soon for our next playdate ;) \". I also found texts from an ex girlfriend from last december when he went home for Christmas saying, \"I need to see you before I leave, cutie\" followed by them setting up a time to meet up, and her sending a picture from when they were dating saying how cute they were. \n\nMy question is...these things happened 6 months and almost a year ago (he never erased texts). Do I confront him still? I went from feeling so secure in our relationship to feeling the opposite! I feel terrible for snooping, but I honestly did not think I would find anything. \n\nOn a side note, I start law school this fall in a different state. We have already decided to stay together, but with this new information I am not sure I have that trust to do something long distance. \n\nAm I overreacting??? HELP.", "summary": "snooped through boyfriends phone and found texts that point firmly to cheating both 6 months and 11 months ago. Do I confront, or let it go if I am not having trust issues."} {"id": "t3_4jhi6d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my [17 F] GF of 1.5 years broke up about 4 months ago, ready to try again. Help me out?", "post": "Hey there, let's cut right to the chase. My ex and I have been split for a few months now and I am ready to have another go at it. I am here to ask you good people your thoughts on it.\n\nI have refrained from speaking to her as long as possible and one day a few weeks back, I went to give her a few smalls things that belonged to her and was as nonchalant and friendly as possible. I also mentioned that I hoped we could go on good terms. For whatever reason, she decided that then was a good time to be rude and a tad bit pompous.\n\nI have gotten my perspective and have been taking care of myself for a good chunk of time.\n\nWhile we were dating, she often said that she couldn't be friends with an ex because she would find it awkward and the likes. \n\nShe has since texted me saying sorry about the way she acted and reaffirmed that she just didn't want to be friends ( She made the assumption that I was asking to be friends, I guess? )I'm a bit confused as to why she would even bother? \n\nAnyways, Let me know what you guys and gals think about how I should approach this, or if I shouldn't? Thanks!", "summary": "Ex and I broke up, ready to try again. kept quiet for as long as I could and when I bring stuff back to her, she decides to be rude. Says sorry by text a bit later."} {"id": "t3_1j2t71", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "A Revenge That Was 9 Years In The Making.", "post": "My mother is a very nice person and is a person who takes an inch and gives back a mile. Now this story started in 2003 when my mother met a guy at her job as a receptionist at a auto parts provider. The man's job was to check on the parts to see if they were ready for delivery. After a few months my mom decides to move to a new city as she was transitioning to a new job as a receptionist at a condo management company. The guy decides to leave and head back to Miami to be with his family. \n\nCut to 2004 when my mother gets a call from the guy as he asks her to loan him some money. He promises that he would send her back some money so he could start his own business. In total she gives him about $8,000 so he could start it up. Within the first two months he sent money to her ranging from $50-100. After those two months he stopped paying altogether. My mother calls him again and again for about a week and he starts paying again. He stopped paying once more after a month and changed his phone number. My mother was pretty pissed as she saw that $8,000 of her money went to nothing.\n\nCut to 2012 as my mother is now a bit smarter and rarely lends anyone money and she gets a mysterious phone call. The call was from the guy who owed her the money as he is now back at the auto parts provider they had met at years ago. He tells her that his life has changed for the worse as he has been jailed a few times and gotten a woman pregnant. He tells her he has no money to afford the things he had to pay and my mother without skipping a beat says \"Now you know how i felt when you did not pay me back\". She hung up the phone and we never heard from the guy again.", "summary": "Mother loans a man money. Man ditches paying my mother and is given 8 years worth of hell for his actions."} {"id": "t3_4rlzwo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] Have been crushing on my friend [20 F] for 8 months, she knows and accepts it.", "post": "I am in college and met a girl in one of my classes. it was an instant connection and we started talking outside of class through facebook after about a month. \n\n so when I friended her on FB it said she had a boyfriend and I was unhappy but decided we could still be friends. she and I talked on facebook daily, to the point that I couldn't even put my phone down even when I slept.\n\n after about 2 months of messaging she brings up her bf and from then on started complaining about him. I gave her advice when she needed it and just listened the other times. \n\n well, it turns out that she knew I liked since before we started messaging and brought it up one night. so I spilled the beans and told her how I felt. she gave the usual speech about how she's in a relationship and that she didn't feel the same. \n\n so fast forward to a week ago, her bf broke up with her and she turned to me for comfort. I, of course, helped her through it. the problem is that I find myself really loving this girl and the last 2 days she's been very flirty but I don't wanna take advantage of her.", "summary": "I really like this girl but she just got out of a relationship and has previously stated she doesn't like me but is now acting like she does. any ideas?"} {"id": "t3_wtwbb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I just found my boyfriends porn stash... on my computer. What, wait what??", "post": "I am going through my computer today to try and delete some extra files so I have more space on my HD. Just trying to get rid of unnecessary shit. I go to my trash bin to empty it and do a quick glance through just to make sure I'm not deleting anything important. I find a folder I don't recognize and go into it. It's several porn films of the same woman. I previously asked on Reddit about my boyfriend's porn watching habits and whether or not they had to do with anything lacking in our sex life. Most replied that it isn't a big deal and a few said there's really only cause for worry if he seems to have a \"type\" in porn or be really into one woman who doesn't look anything like me. Well. This woman bears no resemblance to me whatsoever, different race, different build, hair color, breast size, everything. I don't really know what to do about this. I wish I hadn't seen this but what I REALLY don't understand is why this is on MY computer!\n\nWhat do I do? Do I just try to forget this? My boyfriend is showering right now (we live together) and I don't have a lot of time to figure out how to react (or not react).", "summary": "previously have had issues with boyfriend watching porn, today found a bunch of videos of the same porn actress on my computer. Otherwise pretty good relationship, with some bedroom issues. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_407jy8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24f] feel like I'm emotionally cheating on my boyfriend [22m] with my best friend [26m]", "post": "It's complicated doesn't even begin to cover it. So I apologize now for the wall of text. Names are changed obviously.\n\nTo give a little background. My best friend (John) and I used to be FWB. It was perfect for the both of us and didn't cause any issues with our friendship shockingly. We became closer and we now talk about everything. The reason we never dated was because of my job and because of it I am away from home frequently and for long periods of time and that was something that was a deal breaker for the both of us.\n\nI started dating my boyfriend (Ricky) a few months ago. We are coworkers so that made the relationship easy to have and has caused us to move much faster then expected. We basically live together.\n\nI've told Ricky about John, and I've been honest about everything. \n\nWhen Ricky and I first started dating I wasn't really ready for the relationship, but I wanted keep dating him so i decided to go with it anyways. Ricky is a nice guy who I'm afraid of hurting. My biggest complaint about our relationship is that he complains a lot, about everything, every single day. Our sex hasn't been that great lately either and I'm sure it's my confusion. I feel like I should be in love with him by now and I'm just not. I don't want to end with him because I care about him and with work it would make things complicated.\n\nI still talk to John on a frequent basis. If something happens he is the person I want to tell about it, but he is my best friend. John has jokingly asked me to marry him many times, but that was all before I started dating Ricky. \n\nI don't really know who of my friends to ask about this, which is why I'm looking for an opinion here. I'm asking for no judgement.", "summary": "my sex life is boring with my boyfriend and I miss my best friend/former FWB. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_yyc8b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm a 31 year old guy in love with a 20 year old girl on the other side of the ocean. Anyone have any tips to make something like this work?", "post": "I met a beautiful 20 year old girl from Spain earlier this year. Haven't felt as intensly connected to another person for 10 years. She's fun, very down to earth and pretty low maintenance. I've slept with between 30-40 girls total and had 4 long term relationships over a year. This girl effects me in ways I've forgotten existed.\n\nOn the negative side of things, she's 11 years younger and immature in a few regards. Drinks more than I do and needs attention from other people to make her feel sexy/special/important/center of attention. Not good with money and doesn't have a stable job.\n\nI've been with her for 6 months now and I'm starting to have a hard time with the distance thing. I haven't been with her in 5 weeks and it's starting to feel too distant. I know she cheated on other boyfriends and I've cheated on exes too, but I'm wanting to do this right.\n\nAnyway, going for months without seeing each other is hard. I guess my question is this:\n\nHas anybody found themselves in a situation like this and made it work? Either with a age-gap like that or a loooong distance relationship like US/Spain?", "summary": "I'm in love with a younger girl but she lives in another country (and is really young and kind of an attention whore) What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2zeh43", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "My girlfriend (F/20) can only achieve orgasm through clit stimulation, what do ?", "post": "I've started dating a girl who has apparently never ever had any orgasm through classic penetration, only clitoral stimulation will do.\n\nSomehow, when she's on top, she can just rub herself against me whilst I'm inside her and achieve orgasm, but it's not from me being inside, so she says. \nI can also achieve the same result if being fast enough during missionary and putting enough pressure on her clitoris.\n\nNow I've set on a quest to get her to reach that point as I'm sure it's possible and there cannot be such a thing as a girl who cannot achieve vaginal orgasm. So, i've been googling on the subject and reading all sorts of stuff about how the G spot doesn't exist and there is no such thing as vaginal orgasms, and now I'm just sitting here in front of my screen thinking \" well then, what is going on here ? \"\n\nPlease do give me any feedback, advice or personal experience on the matter?", "summary": "My new girlfriend says she cannot/has never achieve/d vaginal orgasm and I would like to help her get there, any advice ? :)"} {"id": "t3_2xl42y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "36m dating 35f workaholic...how much is too much?", "post": "I (36m) am attracted to smart, independent, successful women. I am also smart and hard working and dedicated to my work. I love and respect that my gf has such passion and dedication to her work, but how much is too much? I only see her for 15 minutes at home at night before she passes out, sometimes for weeks on end. The odd day, maybe once every two or three weeks, that she actually takes 4 or 5 hours off and spends some time with me, she's constantly texting or taking calls from her co-workers. We do manage to eat dinner together about once a week. maybe once every 1.5-2 months, we'll have a weekend together. But it's just not enough for me. I dont want to spend my life \"being with\" someone I only see an hour a week for years on end. Am I being unrealistic? I know women who are just as busy, if not MORE busy than my gf, and they have successful marriages. Am I wrong in assuming that they make more time for their husbands than my gf makes for me? or are their husbands just ok with having a partner they never see? this is the second relationship I've had like this (the last one was 3 or 4 years ago), the last one ended up not making it because of this. The woman I was dating is now very successful and very single. \n\nAnd no, before anyone asks, she's not dating someone else on the side, and yes I am sure.", "summary": "my gf works too fucking much and I never see her and she swears it will change but never does. am I being unreasonable or is she?"} {"id": "t3_2zbmyh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is he [34M] in looking for FWB or something more?Me [31 F]", "post": "Met guy [34M] off OKC, been seeing him on-and-off for 1 month now. A typical date is meeting each other for dinner, having conversation, and then going back to someones place/watching tv and hooking up. Hes never suggested doing activities in the daytime, but he texts me on a daily basis to say hi/small talk. At the same time, he continues to actively check his online dating profile.\n\nWhat gives? Is this what FWBs do? I haven't suggested wanting more out of the relationship because I don't know if we're completely compatible, but I'm confused as to what he wants. Its not quite a relationship, but not quite a FWB?", "summary": "Guy texts daily to say hi, but doesn't put effort into cultivating a real relationship. At same time wants hookup and checks his online dating profile."} {"id": "t3_xulox", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What moment in your life were you most scared?", "post": "I was on my way back from working at a wedding at around 2am when I got onto an arrow straight stretch of road which would take me back into town and away from this persons old countryside barn. As I was driving a pair of headlights were around 100 metres behind me which then suddenly disappeared leaving said car immersed in total darkness. Obviously with this being a dead straight road it was possible to keep driving in almost total darkness. Now going through my head was the thought of some psycho killer wanting to pull some stupid stunt by trying to drive without any lights. About 30 seconds later the car behind me reappeared by switching on their full beams and literally being only 2 metres from the back end of my car. Never in my life have I been so frightened especially with it being in the middle of nowhere. Turned out it was my friend who had finished his shift just after me and decided to play a cruel practical joke on me.", "summary": "Driving alone at 2am in total blackness when suddenly a car appears metres behind me with full headlights on. Never been more scared in my entire life."} {"id": "t3_4n9air", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Scaphoid Fracture Misdiagnosis - Looking for Advice (Canada)", "post": "Hi there, \nIn September 2015, I suffered a fall at work onto my right wrist. The following day, I went to the ER where i had X-Rays done. The X-rays showed no sign of a fracture and I was told it was just a sprain and to expect the pain to dissipate within a few weeks. However, it is common for scaphoid fractures to not show up on the X-Ray immediately and patients are usually told to return within 2 weeks to get a follow-up X-Ray done. This was not done for me. It should also be noted that I was actually treated by an intern. The attending physician, did not directly examine my wrist, and simply went with the words of the intern. \nHowever, the pain did not leave and about a month and a half later, I went to a Walk-In Clinic. The doctor here was informed about the circumstances surrounding my fall and diagnosed me with Chronic Tendonitis. He gave me anti-inflammatories and did not even request another X-ray. This particular doctor implied that the pain would never completely disappear and that I would just have to live with it. But given the degree of difficulty I was having I saw another doctor this week who immediately suspected a scaphoid fracture and had X-rays done. And lo and behold, there was indeed a non-united scaphoid fracture. This was diagnosed 9 months after the initial injury. \nTreatment for a non union typically involves surgery and places me at risk for developing arthritis of the wrist at an earlier age. Is it worth taking legal action over the management of my case? This is clearly a case of medical mismanagement which severely affected my quality of life for the past 9 months. For context, I am an active 19 year old who was unable to perform any strenuous physical activity or sporting events involving the use of my right hand.", "summary": "Non-union Scaphoid fracture diagnosed 9 months after injury. 2 different doctors mismanaged the injury. Is it worth it to take legal action?"} {"id": "t3_10uw3y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[F20] My boyfriend [M26] is incredibly selfish in bed", "post": "We've been dating for about seven months now, but he was deployed for six of them. He only just got back to the states last month, and we've been sexually active for about that long.\n\nWhen he wants sex, he touches me or kisses me until I want it, too. (Even if I'm driving, and repeatedly tell him to cut it out or we'll die in a fiery crash.) \n\nIf I want sex and he doesn't, he just kind of shrugs it off and doesn't really care. I can't do anything to get him interested in it... Even if he does get aroused, he holds back, just to tease me. Not the fun teasing that ends in sex. The horrible teasing that ends in a cold shower.\n\nHe heckles me and asks me for anal sex and blowjobs consistently. I usually comply with his requests.\n\nBut, if I want to be fingered, given oral, or otherwise played with, he refuses. He says that he doesn't want to go down on me because \"That's disgusting.\" He usually has no interest in fingering me or playing with me. \n\nHe doesn't care at all if I have an orgasm, which is disappointing to me. Sexy times basically consist of him kissing me a few times, then thrusting into me (usually dry.) and continuing to thrust until he has an orgasm. At which point he just stands up and goes to play video games.", "summary": "Boyfriend is really only interested in his orgasms. Doesn't care if I get off, or if I'm even aroused."} {"id": "t3_150lyr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19/f] want to break up with my long-distance SO [21/m], but he won't talk to me.", "post": "I've been with my boyfriend for just over two years.\n\nI've been considering breaking up with him for awhile, and all the sudden, it just clicked that I'm ready to be single. He's supposed to be coming to visit me for Christmas, which I obviously don't want him to do; it'd be a huge waste of money and big disappointment for him to come all this way to get dumped. I'm not sure when he's planning on buying a ticket, which makes me want to break the news as soon as possible, before it's too late.\n\nBut for the past two weeks, we've barely talked. We used to Skype every day, but it's cut way back. He doesn't return my calls or texts.\n\nI'm already acting like I'm single, which I never wanted to do. I just want to end things before we start to resent one another.\n\nI have no idea how to get him to have the conversation with me, though, and how to break up with someone via text or Skype.", "summary": "I want to break up with my long-distance boyfriend, but haven't been able to get him to talk to me for long enough to do it."} {"id": "t3_3oo7ga", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17M] with ex [17F] of a few months, I feel like I've gotten over the breakup but I think about her so often", "post": "I'll try to be brief. Met this girl at the beginning of the year through a mutual friend. We hit it off right away and started seeing each other. She was my first real girlfriend, first kiss, we told each other we loved each other, typical stuff. Were together about 4 months, official about 3. Went to different schools so we saw each other between 1 and 3 times a week.\n\nThe breakup was really unexpected, to me at least. I've spoken to her since just twice, both times shortly after the breakup because, honestly, when she broke up with me, my mind was going a million miles an hour and I barely heard a word she was saying, so I just talked to her to try and get a better idea of why she ended it. Haven't seen her in person since.\n\nWe've been broken up now for 5 months and, while I think I've gotten over her, I find myself thinking about her a lot. Pretty much every day. I sort of feel like I miss her, but I'm honestly not sure sometimes if I miss her or if I miss having someone, if that makes sense. It's worth noting I go to an all-guys school so I don't have any particularly close female friends.\n\nMy question is this: Is it normal to be thinking about her so much so far gone when we have had essentially no contact since we broke up.", "summary": "Short relationship (my first), broke up, no contact since, can't stop thinking about her. Is this normal?"} {"id": "t3_3jzltf", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "The story of Me:Double Agent Extraordinaire.", "post": "I need to tell someone who will understand my pain! I planned my wedding almost two years ago and now it's my Mom's turn. My Mother's husband recently asked me to help him \"spy\" on my mom for ring styles and the like. So fast-forward to Saturday, my Mom her best friend and I went shopping for baby things, as I am pregnant. All the while her best friend and I were trying to get her into a jewelry store without being too noticeable. But the darn woman is stubborn! Finally her friend comes up with a lie that she wants to change her wedding ring and we get her in. Then as we are looking at the rings my mom figures it out. Not because we're bad liars just because she knows us too well! \n\nSo now the cat's out of the bag, her fiance (to-be) is asking me questions and talking about his ideas for their wedding, she's all excited and talking/pinning to me about wedding things, and I'm just sitting here going \"Oh, God! What have I done!\" I'm so excited to plan a wedding again, but oh my god I don't know how long I can keep a secret I hope he asks her for real really soon. \n\nAlso I'm sorry if this isn't the correct subreddit, I'm just super excited and needed to tell someone other than my husband who just thinks it's hilarious.", "summary": "My mom's fiance asked me for help, I let the cat out of the bag... They are now both using me to plan a wedding without the other one knowing."} {"id": "t3_3c1b4z", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Marchman Act (Florida) Help for Sibling", "post": "Hello,\n\nI am seeking help information and understanding of how to use the Marchman Act to involuntarily send a sibling to a substance abuse facility. I just came across the statute through a google search and it seems like the only possible route. My sibling is in Broward County Florida.\n\nBackground of situation: Sibling is a severe alcoholic to the point of urinating and deficating self. Sibling has repeatedly fallen and has been emitted to local hospitals 7-8 times in the past 4-6 months. He has gone through DT's and withdrawal symptoms each time. During one of the hospital stays the Baker Act was put on my sibling, but after the 72 hour hold he was released.\n\nMy sibling is retired. He was just divorced and lost his house due to debt. He is in denial of the alcoholism and will not voluntarily go to into a substance abuse program. I was able to get my sibling an apartment, but I live out of state. I attempted to get my sibling to move to where I live, but he refused. I am concerned for my sibling's well being and don't believe my sibling is capable of independent living. My sibling has already been emitted to the hospital once since I left a week and a half ago.\n\nIs the Marchman Act a viable option for this situation?\n\nIs there a way to enact the Marchman Act without going to court?\n\nAny help is greatly appreciated.", "summary": "Sibling is severe alcoholic. I am concerned for my sibling's well-being. I need help and information on whether the Marchman Act is a viable option to get my sibling substance abuse help."} {"id": "t3_4lwgtv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17 M] am considering breaking up with my girlfriend[18 F] of 2 months, I can't tell if this is the right decision", "post": "Please take this somewhat seriously. Me and her have tried to not have a typical high school relationship that revolves around publicizing our relationship and fucking. I don't really want to break up with her because I still have feelings for her and she still has feelings for me, but since she's a senior(year 12) and I'm a junior (year 11) she's leaving for college and going to across the country at the end of this summer. I was hoping that these next few months could've been a way for both of us to bond more and form a stronger relationship before she eventually left, but I found out a couple days ago that she will be working 6 days a week and going to church in Wisconsin on the Sundays (I live in Illinois). The days she's working she has to be there by 9 and once a week at 3 in the afternoon and works until 9. Added on top of this her parents are strict and most likely won't let her do anything after work. \n\nSo I'm kind of left in relationship limbo where the only thing we do is text and possibly meet once a week for 2-3 hours. I've had relationships before and I've never felt this strongly about someone, about a month prior to this we were hanging out daily and I was having the time of my life. She's a beautiful short Asian girl, who I can actually have an intellectual conversation with, but I don't consider this a relationship. I've always held a strong opinion that relationship can't be just over the phone and that's what this is devolving to.\n\nI still want to date her solely for the reason that things might change, but right now I just feel like I'm wasting my summer on a fantasy.", "summary": "My gf and I aren't able to be together because of her work schedule and parents. Want to know if should break up with her or bear through it and hope that I get lucky and things change."} {"id": "t3_1nsu5i", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I am 21/M my co-Worker 21/F sending mixed signals how do I react?", "post": "Me and my co-worker (21 F) started talking recently more and more, there's clearly signs of flirting going on at work and when we hangout out of work. She has sent me texts Like \"My moms out of town we can do whatever we want ;)\" Makes constant sex jokes to me like \"I love being on top\" while saying it is not the laughing \"Thats what she said tone\" while saying this she will make eye contact with a flirtatious smile. But then she will out of the blue say comments like \"It's stupid to date your friends.\"\nAny advice would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "Co-Worker makes comments suggesting to come over and have sex then will say...I wont date my friend last time it went horribly."} {"id": "t3_oxufd", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Help, how to change from Psychology to Physics?", "post": "I don't know if this is the best place to ask this, but it feels as good as any.\n\nI'm currently an Applied Psychology Bsc (Hons) student in the UK.\n\nI got onto the course through attending an \"Access to HE (Humanities)\" qualification, this was due to the fact that I just simply failed to attend any examinations at the end of school and so ended up with no qualifications to speak of. (my mother had just passed away from cancer.)\n\nWhile I was in school however I wanted to eventually go into physics, I've always found it terribly fascinating and I would have attended some form of Access course based on science had it been an option but there simply wasn't any available in my local area at the time. I was working with the options I had available and choosing the best of those options has led me to this point.\n\nSo the actual question.\n\nAs a first year psychology student with no scientific background (other than the psychology degree itself) what would be the best way to change courses and get into physics instead? I should state now that my current university does not offer degrees in physics. Otherwise I would have just gone to them directly and asked.\n\nIf I finished the psychology degree would there be any way to switch degrees at that point? I mean by that I know that you can switch to another course via masters (though I'm under the impression they have to be vaguely related subjects, which I don't imagine physics and psychology being regarded as such.)\n\nCan anyone suggest how I would go about making this happen?", "summary": "Applied Psychology Bsc (hons) student with no level 3 or A level science subjects wants to switch to Physics, how do I make this happen?"} {"id": "t3_3ir8qa", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Guy I really like doesn't response to conventional flirting. Any idea on how to proceed/ what to try?", "post": "I don't consider Asking him out an option because we're on the same team in our work place, and share a lot of mutual friends.. Getting rejected would be hella awkward, i don't want to even try before i get better response from him. \nMore background - I'm almost 22, he's 20 i think. I'm \"one of the guys\" kind of girl, we share the same 15-year-old-boner-jokes. I recently got transfered to his team, and in December he's getting transfered to a team in a different city so i won't be seeing him a lot. He's kind of a workaholic\nAnd.. I'm really into him. Actually, I've never seen so much into someone my entire life, i think I'm in love. I know how to flirt. My ex was one of those guys who doesn't give girls any attention and i got him to ask me out in two weeks. But this guy... We're friendly, sometimes he messages me, we always eat together with our friends at work, we joke about each other, sometimes when we clean the office he spills a little water at me to \"start a fight\" .. Two weekends ago i went to a party at his house and i told him i can stay the night to help him clean (everyone were waisted so i couldn't drive home), and he made sure that i stayed and me, him and his friend slept in spoons with me in the middle, so he's not repeled by me or something lol..\nBut i don't get a good response when i flirt with him. For example- when i gave him a neck massage he said I'm bad at massages and any type of physical contact doesn't get a response , when i told him he should really smile more he answered \"i don't smile\", when i ask him if he wants a cup of coffee or offer him help at work he rejects... \nI guess i sound like a teenager but I really want him. What can i do to make him into me?", "summary": "guy at work initiates frienly contact, doesn't respond well to flirting or sometimes to me being friendly. How can i make him mine?"} {"id": "t3_3jhtiz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my gf [16 F] 8-9 months. she's always too busy to see, affecting me emotionally. is this selfish? what should i do?", "post": "of course i love her, and all i wanna do is be with her, ya know \"young love\" and all that shit. but every time i ask to see her, or go out, or come round i always get denied because she's too busy, always because of family and her part time job and college. we haven't seen each other in over a month and every time i try to compromise she responds with i don't know or we'll see. She doesn't text much but responds to mine, we rarely get to see each other at all. the last time was around a month ago. before that i can only remember seeing her a few times over the space of 3-4 months and only for about 2-3 hours. the thing is she says she really wants to see me too.\n \nBut it really gets painful for me and does affect me because i tend to overthink things. It also makes me feel selfish sometimes because all i'm doing is messaging her and it starts to feel like i'm annoying her because of her response times. and it feels as if she doesn't appreciate me as much as i appreciate her.", "summary": "we never get to see each other, she's always too busy. i'm always trying to compromise and find a way, she 'doesn't know'. we haven't seen each other in ages."} {"id": "t3_36q1in", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is my ex-boyfriend [30 M] a narcissist?", "post": "I had a horrible break up with my ex-boyfriend. He played with me, did horrible things to me, he humiliated me and used me. I felt so ashamed and horrible so when he apologised I went back to him because I wanted to get rid of this horrible feelings. He of course just used this for his next abuse.\nEventually, it was a friend of mine who told me that he is having another girlfriend. They already booked their holidays together, so they must have been together for a while. I was so shattered. When I told him that I know what was going on, he just answered, oh well I don't know why you know that but it is kinda true, I never lied to you or played with you, all the best. He did not even want to talk to me in person anymore. The last time I saw him was around 10 days ago and he pretended to be so in to me. I did not understand the world anymore. I assumed that something is wrong but everytime I asked him about it, he just told me that I am shellfish and that I think that the entire world is turning around me. But he has never done anything wrong. \nThey are still together now, he is still so crazy in love. He posts pictures and talks about her openly the entire time. He is so proud of having her (she was his friend's girlfriend before so that is maybe why). He never did that with me, at the beginning he introduced me to his friends but he started to hide me soon after that. \nI still suffer from what he has done to me. I feel humiliated, used and worthless. I feel ashamed and have anger attacks.\nI know that I was na\u00efve and stupid but could it be that my ex-boyfriend is a narcissist and treats everyone like this eventually? Or is it purely my fault what happened?", "summary": "My ex-boyfriend treated me horribly but has now changed and treats his new gf really nicely. Could it be that he is a narcissist and will treat everyone badly at one point or is was it just my fault?"} {"id": "t3_4bdzu7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18/F] dealing with stress because ex [20/M] is in jail, who I have known for four years", "post": "The last time I had spoken to my ex before his arrest was two years ago. We ended up getting in an argument that ended our friendship. In those two years, I had meant to apologize to him and make up with him, but he was in a long-term relationship with a girl that I didn't want to come between or mess up in anyway. \n\nOnce I had heard they had broken up, it was too late. My ex had already been arrested for a crime that I personally believe he did not commit, and could serve up to 30 years in prison, if convicted. I do communicate with him while he's in jail, and I'm terrified that he will be found guilty because he can't afford a good attorney and the odds are stacked against him. \n\nThis whole situation has been messing with my head since he was arrested. I am extremely regretful that I did not communicate with him in those two years, and I feel like maybe if I had, I would in some way have prevented what he is being accused of. I can't sleep at night most nights, and the nights I do sleep I have nightmares about him. \n\nI want to help him get out of jail and get him a good attorney, and I don't know where to even begin. What he is being tried for does not in anyway sound like him. None of his friends or family believe he did what he's suspected of doing and doesn't line up with his personality or past history. \n\nIf anyone has been in a similar situation where someone they care about has gone to jail for a crime they are wrongfully accused of, please tell me how you got through it. I'm crying everyday and worried sick about his future.", "summary": "My ex-boyfriend is in jail being tried for a crime that I don't believe he's capable of, could serve a long prison sentence, and I'm heartbroken and falling apart because of it."} {"id": "t3_2qdggs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my GF [23 F] for six months, she stopped talking to me", "post": "So my girlfriend and I have been together for six months, we used to see each other all of the time until she moved and then neither of us could find time to see each other. No worries, we'll just call and text every day. We kept telling each other that we'd work things out, wanting to see each other all the time but our schedules just always seem to miss each other. We'd talk for hours every night about our days and always finish with the, \"I love you's.\"\n\nWell. A month ago, it seems like she started calling less and less. Her job is seasonal, so I just argued to myself, \"Hey she's probably just busy with work, no biggie.\" And I just let it go.\n\nAbout two weeks ago, I find out that I'm going to have the 23rd through the 25th off from work. I'm excited. I can finally probably spend some time with her. I call her up, I leave a voice mail, I text her. No response. No text. Nada.\n\nI'm thinking she just has her phone off, or she's not receiving my texts (since this is actually a problem between us) so every day between now and then I send her a little \"Hey! :D\" Nothing.\n\nWell. Now I'm almost through my break. I feel like I've spent the entirety of the time brooding over her during it. I'm not too sure if she's trying to fade me out, we seemed to be too intimate for her to suddenly dismiss me like that. Like not even the day before she was telling me how she wants to get an apartment together with me.\n\nI'm so confused. Should I just break it off from her? Should I assume that she's trying to break off from me?", "summary": "Girlfriend of six months just cold stops talking to me, doesn't return any of my calls or texts. Is she trying to break up from me?"} {"id": "t3_2hheqn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M/F] with my girlfriend [21 M/F] 10 days short of 1year, like dont love anymore", "post": "New here, but you all have come highly recommended from a close friend and I appreciate any comments, thank you. Here it is.\n\nWe both go to college together, same major, and we sit next to each other in two classes. We started hanging out Oct 5th of last year and it was great. Shes smarter than me and helps with homework which is nice, but its not a reason to keep a relationship alive.\n\nThere are two main problems that I've been dwelling on for the past few weeks. As far as I can tell, she is very much in love with me, but I've come to see that although I like her, I do not love her. One problem remains with this because I cant determine a definite reason why I don't...\n\n I don't know how to break up with her. I care about her, so I don't want to crush her, but I think its just as bad to go on thinking that, \"maybe if I stick it out for awhile I will see something different and then love her again.\" \n\nBest case scenario: We remain friends and can both look fondly on memories shared, mostly that she can move on without excessive agony. I'd rather no longer be friends and have her be happy sooner than try to hold up a friendship if you guys think it'll make a difference. \n\nAny help or comments are greatly appreciated and questions are also welcome! Thank you so much for reading.\n\nExcessive background: Small classes (20+-5). Military with similar interest in field so good chance our paths will cross for at least the next two years. This is my longest relationship I've ever held.", "summary": "Almost 1 year, intertwined lives, she loves but I don't. I don't know when or how best to break it off."} {"id": "t3_1ok36l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "The girl I like [16f] just said yes to being my girlfriend, and broke up me [16m] less than two hours later. What now?", "post": "So to explain, this girl that I've been friends with for around a year now, and that I've really liked for about four months now and I had gone on several dates in the last two months, and I asked her to our homecoming that was this last Saturday. At the end of the dance I told her how I felt and asked her to officially be my girlfriend and she said yes very enthusiastically. \n\nBut, shortly after the dance, she texts me saying that she doesn't know if she's ready to be in a relationship and then says she doesn't want to ruin what we have now. I told her that neither or us had been in a real relationship yet so we could help each other, take it slow, and then I said what we had now was really more than just friends. She responded that that was true, and we were more than friends, but she liked what we had now the way it was. \n\nNow here's my question: where does this lead for me? Basically, she's the girl I want. Like trying to imagine my ideal girl is stained with her image. Moving on would be horrible. I want to be with her but if she's \"not ready\" is that all there is? Would she ever come around to us actually dating or do I have to move on? I basically knew she liked me, even her friends were always saying that I was practically her boyfriend but this last conversation really hurt that. She said the way we are now is great, but it's definitely past friendship, if I just wait, will it happen, despite what just happened? I don't know how long I could last having to stay here.\n\nI realize I'm young but the whole \"move on kid, you got your whole life ahead of you\" isn't helpful or comforting.", "summary": "the girl I like and who likes me said yes then no to being my girlfriend, but wants to be more than friends really: what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1urviy", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit: what is your go-to beer at a public venue, event, bar, etc.?", "post": "I am a home brewer and have been commissioned by one of my best friends to brew all of the beer for his wedding reception of 200+ people. Most of the people that will be there are generic American lager/pilsner drinkers (bud, miller, coors), so I want to make beer that caters to their tastes. \n\nMy plan currently is to have three different brews on tap, two of which I've decided on already. One is going to be a beer like Sam Adams (a Vienna lager) and a beer called Spotted Cow (cream ale), which is present in every single Wisconsin liquor store, grocery store, and gas station. Both of these styles are easy-drinking, light, and similar enough in taste to a Budweiser, Miller High life, or PBR well-received by any kind of beer drinker. The third beer I want to be a style that is a change of pace but not too \"pretentious\" or \"bold\". \n\nA little about the wedding: it is in the summer, neither the bride or groom drink but are perfectly fine with others doing so (so they have no preference about what beer I should make), and there will be other alcohol served at the wedding as well including wine and liquor. Also, it's in Wisconsin, the unofficial drinking capital of the USA. \n\nSo, what beer is your favorite, Reddit? I don't need a style, just a name. Feel free to explain why you like it and, more importantly, what you don't like about it.", "summary": "what beer (besides beers like Budweiser and miller lite) are your favorites on tap at the bar?"} {"id": "t3_hf76p", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do you find motivation through life?", "post": "Reddit,\n\nI'm 28 years old, female (if it matters) and I find that I have some serious issues regarding motivation. At first I thought it was laziness, but after some research and reading, I realized it's not that I'm lazy, it's just that I'm a procrastinator. I'm completely intimidated by long-term and difficult things and therefore put them aside - which causes massive anxiety. I'm all about instant gratification. \n\nWhen I get pumped about something, anything, I'm motivated for a month and then I deflate. I REALIZE all this about myself but I can't figure out HOW to fix/deal with it. I realize I don't think I'll ever change - this is my personality, this is something I would CONSTANTLY have to work on - but I don't know how.\n\nSo far, it hasn't hurt me badly - I have a great job , a great relationship (although he get frustrated with this aspect of me sometimes - he's driven and successful), I'm a fitness/nutritional enthusiast (and I think the only reason for this, is because I'm seeing fast results), and I'm waiting to hear if I got into my MBA program. \n\nHOWEVER - I'm losing my excitement for the job and I don't even know if the MBA will do anything for me (if I even get in to this particular program), because I'll be excited for a while and then just lose all interest. \n\nIt's amazing that knowing these things about myself, how I operate, yet I still can't get my shit together. Can someone please point me to some advice and/or some research material that can help me figure this out? Please!", "summary": "I'm a master procrastinator and afraid I'll never grow, because I can't figure out how to effing get my shit together and find my drive before it's too late."} {"id": "t3_1u5jzn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23/F] am having a hard time forgiving my boyfriend [23/M] of 4months, for hitting on other girls online", "post": "So I recently found that my boyfriend is hitting on other girls online, girls he's never met. He leaves comments like \"wow you're too gorgeous\" \n\nWhen I read it, my heart broke completely. He tells me he's so in love with me and I'm the love of his life, he even says he wants to marry me. If he felt that way about me I can't understand why he would tell other girls they're beautiful. I can't comprehend a legitimate reason. \n\nIt hurts even more because he knows I have a lot of insecurities about my appearance and am very sensitive. It feels inappropriate and I'm finding it hard to forgive him despite his extensive apologies. \n\nAm I overreacting? I feel partly that I could be but he knows how hard it's been for me to give him my heart and trust, to accept his love for me. \n\n---\n\nBackground of our relationship: we met online, live in other countries, fell madly in love and I took a 14 hour flight to meet him. We're working really hard to be together, I am moving to his country to be with him in Feb. We have a very passionate relationship, have worked through a lot and are very open and honest about everything. We believe it's true love but this whole situation has left me questioning everything.", "summary": "Found my boyfriend has been hitting on other girls online, not sure if it's harmless but I'm hurt and need to know if I'm overreacting."} {"id": "t3_q7jy5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "In a shitty situation, need some opinions, details inside..", "post": "Last Sunday an ex of mine, whom I was/am on good terms with texted me asking if she could borrow 40 dollars because she had left her debit card at home when she was home for the weekend (we both go to the same university, about two hours from our hometown) and was in a bind because she needed 40 dollars the next day for a club she was in. Now usually I don't loan out money because i hate the position of debt collector, but I dated this girl for about a year and considered her trustworthy. So I obliged and dropped off the money, she said she would pay me back Tuesday because her mother was dropping off the card then. Tuesday comes around and I casually text her, no response. Since Tuesday I've probably called about 8 times and sent 6-7 text messages which have all not been answered. Being a broke ass college student 40 dollars is a substancial amount of money and I would like to get it back without anything getting nasty, does anyone have advice or similar stories? I feel like I'm being the dick now and am not enjoying the spot I'm in.", "summary": "I borrowed an ex of mine some money, since receiving it she has ignored all of my calls/texts, it's been a week, I'd like to get my money back and avoid any nasty situations. "} {"id": "t3_2t3eoz", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[22/m] Thinking of breaking up with [22/f] of 2 years, has all her belongings at mine. Need advice", "post": "Hello sub. Throwaway for obvious reasons.\n\nThis has been a long time coming and maybe I've been delaying it for a while now, but I'm feeling like this relationship isn't going to work out.\nI still do care deeply for her, but now I don't believe we are right for each other. She's an absolutely great person but we have our differences, not just what we like but our morals, values and culture. We've had talks about this before and I always believed if we tried to accommodate to each others likings we would be fine. \n\nBut I'm now worn out, I'm frankly tired of trying to like the things that she likes and loosing time and money for things that I would want to do (She's not really keen in my interests though she has tried).\nShe's been away for holidays for a while now and has left all her belongings at mine as I agreed to help her move out to a new place when she got back. She would be staying at mine until then (few weeks) This was before I felt like we needed to break up. I too went overseas for holidays for a while and I had time to think for myself.\n\nI need your thoughts on what to do sub. I did promise I'd help her move out and don't really want to break up while she doesn't have a place to stay. There's also a few celebrations coming up that I don't think I would be able to celebrate with her, I feel horrible..but I'm thinking of telling her today after work.", "summary": "Relationship not working out, gf left belongings at mine while overseas and I promised I would help her move. Don't feel like breaking up while she doesn't have anywhere to stay."} {"id": "t3_2kfbd9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] the past two weeks I've been hearing things that aren't there, and i have don't know when i'm dreaming or when i'm awake!?", "post": "i've noticed this happening lately, when i have my headphones on i'll hear a deep gutteral voice call out my name from the other room, i'll walk in and no one will be there no one is home. \n\ni have never taken any illegal drugs (i did take lexapro for about two years when i was 14-15 for anxiety and depression) i have an uncle who is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. i have read that it is hereditary so i'm not sure what to think.\n\nyesterday, or today i don't know it felt like i was dreaming while i was awake. i saw stars while the sun was out but saw my family as clear as day. \n\nI drove to work and all the other cars were frozen in place. i just drove through them like ghosts and when i got to work it felt like i was shaken awake out of bed because my manager called asking where the hell i was.\n\ni'm really confused right now, i have a therapist i see once a month, i bumped the meeting up next tuesday which was the earliest she could see me. i've taken break from work until i can figure this all out.. my question is how should i approach my therapist about this? she told me upfront if she thinks i'm a danger to myself or others she has to report me to the police. i don't want to be locked up in a insane asylum. how do i tell her this without being taken away???", "summary": "hearing things that aren't there, seeing things, can't tell the difference bewteen dreaming or being awake.. how do i tell my therapist i think i may be schizophrenic????"} {"id": "t3_w2h8d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Did I ruin my relationship by having sex too soon?", "post": "Okay, so my boyfriend (18m) and I(17f) have been going out for three months. I took his virginity about two months into the relationship. We are very comfortable with each other, and he first told me he loved me two and a half weeks into the relationship (to be fair, we had been into each other for a really long time but the circumstances were never right until recently). \n\nAnyways, I worry he's losing interest in me. He hardly texts back now and I feel like I bore him when we hang out. Because of his detachment I become clingy, which makes the situation worse. But he still tells me he loves me every night as he wishes me goodnight and does cute things...\n\nWe moved fast physically compared to my previous two year relationship, but we both are very comfortable with it. I feel like we moved too fast though, upon retrospect, even though I love our closeness now. Should I suggest a hiatus to all sexual activity for a few weeks, let us bond more emotionally? The only thing is I really like the emotional and physical closeness/satisfaction post-coital.", "summary": "I think I ruined my relationship too soon by having sex two months into relationship. Would it be a good idea to put a halt to physical stuff so we don't lose interest in each other?"} {"id": "t3_j0g5w", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I prevent my aunt from stealing from my mother?", "post": "My grandmother died 2 years ago, and in her will she left the house to my mother and my aunt 50/50. The executor, my grandmother's uncle, has been trying to sell the house since her death, and if he can't sell it by august, hes rendering ownership to my mother and aunt.\n\nBack story on my aunt: she has been a leech for the past 15 years. She lived with my family for 3 years, never paying any rent, and costing us thousands to renovate the rooms she destroyed living here, then she lived with my grandparents for another 11 years until they passed, and now she's living as her son's house, all the while never paying anything for rent or utilities, and disregarding any rules that were set in the house. She's not the honest or loyal type.\n\nNow my aunt currently lives much closer to the house than we do (the house is in South Carolina, my aunt is in South Carolina while we live in New York), and she's offered to \"sell the house\" for us, i.e. shes going to live there indefinitely until she sells it, which knowing her, she won't make any real attempt to do, and we have no real way of getting down there to stop her from essentially stealing half the house from my mother. Reddit, is there any legal action we can take to prevent her from living in the house while its being sold?", "summary": "My scumbag aunt is going to try and live in my dead grandmother's house that she has 50% ownership of with my mother, and we don't know how to stop her."} {"id": "t3_2aqw49", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I [19f] am trying to seduce a man [30m] over text. Any tips?", "post": "Hey there! First of all, without getting into too much detail, let me say that the age difference is not a problem. He was the one who started the flirtation between the two of us.\n\nRight now, I'm not interested in actually hanging out. Not just yet. I want to indulge in the \"texting game\" for a little while first. My question for you lovely men and women is what kind of texts would you like to get from someone you're interested in to start up a good conversation? My demeanor and sense of humour is very playful, sexy and just a touch cocky. I'm just starting to run out of ideas! \n\nThanks for the help. :)", "summary": "My question for you lovely men and women is what kind of texts would you like to get from someone you're interested in to start up a good conversation?"} {"id": "t3_4z39cc", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being a stupid kid with a cellphone", "post": "Obligatory this didn't happen today but rather about 15 years ago. \n\nSo i was in 6th grade, about 12 years old, living in Sweden. Our class was going on some kind of sleep over camping trip in the woods. We brought tents and all that shit and my brand new cellphone that i got from my parents, my first one. I got the whole spiel about only calling in emergencies and all that jazz.\n\nSo we're out walking in the woods and me and like 3 other guys and 1 teacher wander off from the group and get separated. It's getting darker but we're still trying to locate the main group. The cellphone reception was spotty so the teacher couldn't reach the other teachers on the trip. Me and another guy walk off a little bit onto a little hill and I get one bar! \n\nI quickly call my parents for some dumb ass reason and say we're lost, but forget to mention the slight detail that we have a teacher with us. With reception being spotty it's hard to communicate and a lot of things got lost. The call gets dropped and I don't think much of it. \n\nWe finally somehow find the main group, i think just by walking around and that's when I get a call from the vice principal of the school. Apperently my parents had called the school and the police. The police we're going to get choppers ready but as it was already dark that wasn't feasible. So they started mounting a search party with dogs and the whole shebang. Luckily we found the main group before they really got going. \n\nLuckily there weren't any consequences except my parents getting a little mad about me missing to mention crucial details about our situation :)", "summary": "Got lost in the woods, called parents and didn't mention we had a teacher with us and cops started mounting search party for us."} {"id": "t3_2qerx0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Help Me [22M] figure out next move with [21F]. What should i say or do after her last text?", "post": "I went out for a casual evening to the movies with girl I had met in college (we are in different courses). Next day I say we should catch some drinks on friday and she responds with:\n\n\"Hey I didn't mean to lead you on in any way - was just happy to go and watch a film with you. I currently have a boyfriend, so if that puts you off so be it, but if you'd still want to get coffee some time around college I'd be game. I'm usually very busy on Fridays.\"\n\nI then respond with: \"Hey no worries I understand, I'll be happy to get coffee anytime i see you around. Take care.\"\n\nThat was a month ago and there has been zero communication since then.\n\nCan you advise me on what my next moves should be. I was thinking of saying something like:\n\n \"hey there , I haven't heard from you in a long time, just wanted to check how you are doing and also to take the chance to wish you a happy new year.\" \n\nor should i just leave her alone? Was she just being nice to me in the message and was basically telling me to fuck off or was she saying she'd be open to seeing me more?", "summary": "Don't know how to precede with this girl who i have not texted in over a month. I don't mind if it is just to remain as friends I just want closure."} {"id": "t3_4md9jz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24M] and my ex [24F] want to try our relationship again. We can't until she comes back from work in a months time. How do I go about this?", "post": "**I submitted an older post if you want more background on us\n\nI was the one dumped. I was NC for a while but had to break it (to get her stuff back to her), at which point we talked and agreed to try again in a months time. I asked her what she wanted to do this month and we both said we didn't want to see/hook up with anyone during this time, since it's sort of a pseudo-LDR right now (never been in a LDR either).\n\nBut I don't know how I'm supposed to go about this month, especially being the one who got dumped. We text all day long and it feels the same as when we were together (which texting after the breakup didnt), but there's no romantic texts or anything. I'm worried she might change her mind at some point and I'll be back to square one with the breakup. \n\nPart of me wants to go NC for the whole month and see where things are then. But...I *was* at fault for the breakup and I feel like I *should* be talking to her everyday, building her trust back, and showing her I'm different than before (because I truly am). I feel like me going NC would be mostly an ego thing as in, \"I'm amazing! If she doesn't see that she's not worth it! I'm the best thing ever!\"........when I wasn't in the relationship. I was a dick.\n\nI'm kind of lost. If we were both in the same city right now we would already be dating a bit and seeing where things go. I do want her back but I don't want to be pigeon-holed, and since I was the one dumped the ball is mostly in her court. \n\nAny advice? Maybe a way I can get her to give me some reassurance without being overbearing? Typing this out makes me sound pathetic.", "summary": "Ex dumped me. After NC for a while we agreed to try again in a months time when she gets back to the city. How should I go about this month?"} {"id": "t3_2s1pkd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20/M] Girlfriend's [18/F] Mom dislikes me and is pressuring girlfriend to choose between her Mom or me", "post": "Hi, this is my first submission I've ever done, so let me know if I've done anything wrong.\n\nBackground: My girlfriend, for the sake of names/privacy we'll just say her name is Gina, and I have been dating for about three months. Everything has been going great since the day we first started talking. Of course there have been minor arguments, but nothing out of this world crazy. We both are going to school and have talked a lot about staying together for a long time. I have always treated her well and have done everything I can to make her happy.\n\nEarlier today I found out that Gina's mom dislikes me a lot. I read a text message from her mom saying how she \"KNOWS\" I am not right for her. After talking to Gina about this I asked her if she was going to break up with me because of this debacle. She said she has been considering it but she doesnt want to and that it has been causing a lot of disharmony between her and her mother. She has no clue why her mom doesnt like me.\n\nI was distraught by this and I tried the best I could to tell her that her mom doesnt have to like me but that she should accept the fact that we love each other and learn to be ok with us dating. My impression is that her mom is afraid to lose her to me. I told Gina that she needs to stand up for her beliefs and if she cant do that, then we should break up.\n\nShe hasnt texted me back since I told her these things. I think its fair for me to want her to stand up to her mom and says what she wants. I have never treated her poorly so I dont think that is unfair of me to ask. Am I being ridiculous? Is her mom being ridiculous? Any advice on what to do in this situation would help a lot. Thank you for listening.", "summary": "Girlfriends mom doesnt like me and is pressuring girlfriend to break up with me. Told girlfriend she should stand up for what she wants or we should break up."} {"id": "t3_3j10ed", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my GF [21 F] of six months, should I wait for her?", "post": "We're both seniors in college.\n\nWe've been friends since freshman year. \n\nHooked up on and off throughout the years, made it something real (i.e. commitment) in March. \n\nThings got serious (started talking about a future together, possibly moving to the same city post-graduation, consistently expressing our feelings for each other verbally). \n\nAt some point, her behavior changed. She became more distance, less intimate. When confronted, she said she wanted something less serious. A complete 180 degree change from what she had been saying. \n\nAfter our discussion, I \"changed\" what I wanted; said I wanted something less serious. \n\nNow, after discussing things with her tonight, I realized I've been lying to myself and want something more serious (i.e. more emotionally involved). \n\nShe says she's too busy to have something more serious, but when asked if she wants something more serious in the future she responded with \"maybe\". \n\nNow I'm conflicted and thinking about leaving because I've resigned myself to settling for something that isn't what I want, and I now hang upon a \"maybe\" to one day bring me what I'm looking for in a relationship. \n\nThoughts?", "summary": "I want something serious and emotionally involved (i.e. something beyond the typical hang-bang-repeat). My girlfriend doesn't, but might in the future. Should I stay?"} {"id": "t3_v1nrp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Having our house targetted for my younger brothers problems. What can we do?", "post": "My younger brother is in some trouble with the wrong people. They claim he stole from them and he denies it. They want their money.\n\n10 days ago they come to our home and attack the front door with a baseball bat, hurl abuse at my mother and myself (I was told I would be stabbed and my mother, raped.) My dog ran out of the door and chased them off. We called the police. They got arrested and released the same day with no charge.\n\nSince then my mum hasn't slept, scared they will return at night and do something worse. I went away for a few days on a planned trip away and left a friend to keep an eye and ear out for the first sign of trouble. Nothing.\n\nI come home and everyone seems a little less worked up and seemed to have calmed down. \n\n2 days ago they came back and stopped outside the house and shot our frontroom/lounge window with an air rifle. I saw them outside the house in the car which I made the police aware. They had their home searched and were arrested. Granted bail until a date on a drug charge that was from the search, nothing to do with our window and terrorising our neighbourhood. \n\nThe main guy is an utter scumbag. He sells Mephedrone/meowmeow to kids (as young as 12) and sits outside a local school to sell there. He has his brother run for him so he doesn't do any dirty work.", "summary": "Little brother is in trouble, having our house targetted by nasty people, police can't get them on anything. Help?"} {"id": "t3_27nly2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[16M] fathers[38M] computer is filled with gay porn and his browser history shows he's been talking to guys online. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.", "post": "He's still married to my mom btw, and has three kids.\n\nMy computer died so I went on his computer, it was open and and a folder filled with videos of guys fucking was open. I was really shocked obviously and couldn't believe my eyes. I opened his browser and saw that he had some M4M chat sites open and after some digging I actually found some conversation he had saved, some even with the other guy on camera doing stuff so not just chatting. Thankfully my dad didn't go on camera.\n\nIt was like a fucking car crash, I couldn't look away. After like 20 minutes of this I left everything like it was and got the hell out of there.\n\nI just am completely stumped, this is something that shouldn't happen to a son. I have nothing against gay people by the way. My dad is just a normal dad, works construction and quite the macho stereotype. Maybe he's overcompensating now that I think about it.\n\nI feel like I'm going to just ignore this and do my best to look my father in the eye next time I see him. I feel guilty about mom though, she doesn't deserve this.", "summary": "Found gay porn and evidence my dad has been kind of cheating on my mom with other men, don't know what to do with the information."} {"id": "t3_33vxq6", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Major Commitments clash", "post": "I'm in my final year of college now and I have run into a problem. I've moved to a new school and I've had no problem fitting in but, I have a main group of friends that I play in the top rugby team with and the first game of the season is on Saturday 2nd of May. This is a problem as 2 months ago I put my name forward for a one-off 48 hour film festival with a different group of friends, that that goes non-stop from May 1st 7pm - May 3rd 7pm. Both are on at the same time and I am unsure about what I should do about it. \n\nRugby: If I miss this game I lose my starting position in the team and I don't want to let the team down (we have been training for 8 weeks.\n\nFilm festival: I said I would do it first week of new school and one guy has had to pull out due to a unexpected medical issue and we have all put in a registration bond so I don't want to pull out as they might have to pull out.", "summary": "I need advice about choosing between a one time film festival and the first game of the rugby season. I will need to make the decision within a few days"} {"id": "t3_50leqt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "About to meet my [22F] boyfriend's [24M] ex girlfriend [22F]", "post": "I've been dating Charlie for about a year and a half now. We met in college through mutual friends, but at the time were both in relationships with other people and developed a decently close friendship. By chance, or some other turn of fate, we got broken up with by our SOs. Nothing spiteful; they just weren't working out and we're both on good terms with out exs.\n\nWe ended up going to a party where a drunk Charlie confessed his feelings for me. It all happened kind of fast, and at first I thought we were both rebounding, but it doesn't seem that way now.\n\nWe agreed to keep it on the DL though for the sake of our exs. This also included him not telling his entire close knit friend circle from his hometown, since his ex (Maria), was incredibly involved and they still hung out. I also didn't tell my friends who were mutuals with my ex, but since getting together, I've been telling my friends gradually. It wasn't always met with pretty responses, but overall it felt better to be honest with my friends and also not have to hide this guy that I love.\n\nIt took over a year of dating and a conversation about me feeling upset that he still hadn't told anyone for him to start. And even then he didn't tell Maria until a few weeks ago.\n\nNow, I'm prepping myself to meet his friends and Maria at their labor day barbecue. My main worry is how they'll react to me, because I can't help but feel like I'm the girl who's intruding on their friend circle that was once perfectly convenient (Charlie dated Maria, and there are three other long term couples, with others floating in and out). I know it might be dumb to be anxious over this, but any advice on how to deal with being nervous or how to navigate the situation would be very appreciated.", "summary": "Going to meet my boyfriend's close friends and ex, who up until a few months/a few weeks ago didn't know I existed"} {"id": "t3_1dkljp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Email header question: did Mastercard scam me from seeing Justin Timberlake?", "post": "I got an email the other day inviting me to sign up for a \"Mastercard Priceless\" event where I would get an email and then have the opportunity to buy tickets to a Justin Timberlake concert for a small group in New York City.\n\nI received an email today to my gmail account at 1:39PM Eastern Standard Time and immediately clicked on the link to try to buy tickets. Alas, they were sold out even though I clicked on the link within 10 seconds of receiving the email.\n\nThen I reread the email and saw that the tickets went on sale at noon, 12:00pm and felt cheated because I hadn't even received the email until 99 minutes after the sale was open to the public. No wonder the concert was sold out so quickly.\n\nDoubling back to the email I noticed that the timestamp it was received by my gmail account was 13:39:09 Eastern Time, but that it had been sent from Mastercard with a timestamp of 10:21:12 Eastern Time. \n\n**What's up with the 3+ hour delay?**\n\nCan someone look at the email header and help me understand it a little better? I uploaded it [here] I'm just curious if the delay would have innocently been caused by Mastercard's bulk-mail sending service, Gmail delaying delivery for some reason, or whether it was a scam from the get-go with Mastercard knowingly sending me an email for a concert that they knew would be sold out before I possibly could have clicked the link......\n\nThanks in Advance.", "summary": "Got email in afternoon that I'd be able to buy high-demand tickets \"soon\". Realized \"soon\" had already clocked out for the day, taken the subway home, and was sitting on the couch with a beer."} {"id": "t3_1eudlu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [19f] deal with having a partner [22M] whose had the \"one\" pass away?", "post": "Ive been dating (22m) for about 5 months now, and Im beginning to really fall for him and its looking like it could be a serious relationship. But when he was 20 he had the love of his life (19f) die in his arms of a drug overdose. Obviously he was very traumatized by this and its going to effect him for the rest of his life. In his words, she was the one, the love of his life, but hes accepted that he cant be with her.\nHe talks about her a lot, which Im okay with. He has a tattoo representing her on his shoulder, and he never takes off a necklace she gave him. I dont want him to, thats not fair of me to ask him to put that all away because its what made him who he is today and he doesn't want to forget her.\nThis may sound incredibly selfish, but how do you deal with the fact that your SO is only with you because a girl is dead? Ill never be his \"one\" and hell probably never be mine, and if she were here he would drop everything i a second to be with her. But his life shouldnt end because his girlfriends did.. Im the first semi serious relationship hes been in since her so I dont think he really knows what to do either.\nI dont have anyone to talk to thats been through something similar, or has had an SO die or had their SOs previous so die. If anyone has been through something similar I would really love to hear how they dealt with it and got through it, or didnt get through it.", "summary": "Boyfriend's old girlfriend died in his arms, how do I be in a relationship with someone who will always rather be with someone he can't?"} {"id": "t3_qcbtp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "While in, or holding an interview, what is the most interesting or absurd thing that has occured?", "post": "Doesn't have to mean it was even a part of the actual interview itself, it could be something regarding the setting (e.g. your interview for a tech firm being held at a zoo), or unexpected event that occurred (like a sudden fire in the building). Im sure some of you have some much more interesting things, or pranks you pulled than what my friend experienced below, so I would love to hear.\n\nFriend was sitting in HQ's for a snowboarding company waiting for her interview. It was right before noon, and suddenly a large group of people fully decked out in snowboarding gear and equipment gregariously burst through the door and started herding everyone (including my confused and flustered friend who they had never met) to one of the conference rooms with gregarious shouts of \"PIZZA HERE\". The group then proceeded to eat lunch and shoot the shit, absorbing her in like a friend before she ended up doing the interview. Apparently when the weather is nice, employees can run off and hit the slopes for a couple hours as long as they bring back lunch or dinner (depending on the time of day they leave)\n\nObviously this isn't the most ridiculous thing to ever occur, but it sure as hell was more interesting than anything that has ever happened to me.", "summary": "Friend waiting for interview and is greeted by a herd of employees showing up hours late after deciding to go snowboarding before work"} {"id": "t3_3mteeq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my boyfriend[29 M] together a year and a half, positive problem, I love his family and mine but, I don't know how to get them all together.", "post": "Myself and my boyfriend have been together a year and a half now. I love his family, my family loves him and as far as I can make out his family love me. It's a great situation. \n\nI am very family orientated. I love family gatherings, birthday parties, anniversaries, holidays together. Myself and my boyfriend have been living together now for a while and I see a lot of his family and he sees a lot of mine. We have no plans for engagement or marriage just yet. \n\nI live in the city and his family mostly live about an hour and a half a way. One of his brothers live close. My brother lives in another country. \n\nI would love my family to meet his family. They don't often get together (there is seven in the family and they are all adults so it is hard) maybe four or five times a year, which is more then most. \n\nBecause engagement and marriage isn't on the cards yet I was just wondering how could I possibly get them at something all together. I would just love them to all meet. My boyfriend is graduating from college in November but, my brother won't be around for that. \n\nI would just love to arrange something to have everyone together and meet everyone. It is important to me. Our apartment is too small to host anything and my boyfriends mother is on her own so I wouldn't like it to just be my parents and her. \n\nI don't know a natural way to get everyone together but, I would love for them all to meet each other at this stage as I am very close to his family and my family is very close to him. Is there a tactful way to do this? I am assuming sometime close to christmas? Or is this just kinda weird to want with out marriage and engagement on the cards?", "summary": "Would love for my boyfriends family and my family to meet but, cannot think of an event or an excuse to do so outside of the traditional engagement/marriage stuff which would be traditional."} {"id": "t3_4ghy1o", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Update: First date done, some questions...", "post": "Hi,\n\nsome days ago I submitted [this post] about me meeting a girl I met in a bar.\n\nTurned out she lives in my street, maybe 50 meter next to me. I am pretty happy.\n\nSo we met and since it was sunday and in my country stores and others things are not allowed to open at sunday, we decided to meet, go for a walk, talk, go with my dog and so on. I am really into her and we share the same mental attitude to live and a lot of things.\n\nSo after we walked and chilled in the nature for many hours I told her that I find her pretty. It seemed like it would get really cold and maybe snow or rain. She said that she is going home now...we went to our street again and when we parted we just stood there...you know.\n\nI think she had \"that look\" in her eyes. I thought about kissing her but since we havent gotten \"that close\" over the whole day I didnt have the balls to do it. So I just looked her in the eyes, hugge her, kissed her cheecks. She looked surprised as if she was expecting a kiss...but afterwards I felt it would be awkward to go for it again. I feel like an complete idiot now.\n\nWas this a huge mistake to not go for the kiss. We know each other for 3 days now, but I am kind of shy and I dont know. Does she think that I am not interessted now?", "summary": "Met girl, went out with her, she had to go home, had that look in eyes, I didnt have the balls to kiss her directly on the mouth, did I fuck up?"} {"id": "t3_w0k07", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "New to dating.. what's the definition?", "post": "Me (27f) and him (29m)\n\nSo its been almost a year from my last relationship that was 2 years long, and I'm a little out of the loop as far as getting back into the dating scene. I've been seeing a guy for about a month so far. He's a really sweet guy, takes me out on dates, still opens car doors and seats me when we go out to eat, and just over all well mannered and a bit chivalrous (which is adorable). We get along great so far, have a lot of things in common and all that jazz... But the other day I got the feeling that he was hinting at the \"what are we\" talk. We had aleady established that we are very monogamous people, but haven't really defined what we are. We sleep over at eachother's places, and see eachother almost every day, but that's about it. I'm pretty sure I've started to have some strong feelings for him so far, but not really sure what to call us yet. \n\nI wouldn't mind being his girlfriend... Honestly I'm secretly hoping for it, but I don't want to be the first person to admit my feelings. Not sure if its because I'm scared of rejection (though I highly doubt he'd reject me at this point), if one month is sufficient enough in time to justify my secret feelings, or if I'm just not cut out for this kind of thing.\n\nSo guys, I'm just looking for a little advice here. Play it cool and see if/when he brings it up again? Or would it be completely off base for me to flat out bring it up instead of beating around the bush for who knows how long?", "summary": "wondering when is the right time to have the \"what are we\" talk and what justifies the admission of these feelings."} {"id": "t3_2dh2g7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (25F) am falling in love with my SO (25M) and it is not making me feel happy", "post": "I've been seeing my new SO for almost 5 months. He is an amazing person on the inside with devilishly good looks and he makes me incredibly happy. Everything about our relationship is good, in fact almost perfect.\n\nHowever, 9 months ago I got out of a terrible on and off 5.5 year relationship, one that made me want to give up on love because of the pain he caused me for years during that relationship. Well now I am with someone I could have only dreamed about, who really likes me for everything that I am and I am falling in love with him. It has been freaking me out a little, and now I am extremely nervous and anxious about these new found feelings and it is making me upset. \n\nI know it's scary to be vulnerable and that I can't live my life scared of being hurt again.. but the idea of being in love again makes me totally uneasy. I just wish I could be happy about falling for someone so great, but instead I am worried that he will hurt me or worse I will freak myself out over it and push him away. Does anyone have advice?", "summary": "I am falling in love with an amazing man and instead of being happy, I am upset because I am so anxious and nervous about feeling this way. Suggestions?"} {"id": "t3_3080hc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] asking out TF [20sM]? Talk some sense into me!", "post": "Hello /r/relationships, or as I sometimes call it relationshits...\n\nI'm in a bit of a pickle. Not sure what to do. I'm graduating from undergrad this May and have developed a bit of a crush on my TF (Teaching Fellow) in one of the courses I'm taking. I'm interested in asking him out for coffee after final grades are submitted... But here's where I'm not sure what to do.\n\nMaybe this is me being neurotic, but I feel like it would be selfish of me to convey interest because I already know I'm moving away after graduation (ie different part of the country) and WON'T be on campus. So... What would be the point of a single coffee date? (Though I do want to get to know him better even if it was just as a friend.)\n\nAdditionally, for anyone who's been in this position before... Is it creepy or flattering to have an old student ask you out? Said TF and I have chit-chatted a decent amount. He's definitely single, it somehow came up in conersation in the past. I'm performing above average in his course but... I definitely don't want to creep him out. Is it for the best to just keep silent?", "summary": "version: Senior about to graduate crushing on TF. Already know I'm moving away after graduation. Is it selfish / creepy to ask him out for coffee anyway? "} {"id": "t3_d9tei", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Am I making the biggest mistake of my life here?", "post": "Hello, there! First time poster, not so long time redditor here.\n\nFirst off, I believe that personal problems must be solved by oneself, but I would really appreciate some outside input/similar experiences.\n\nAlmost 2 years ago I've met a girl that, for all intents and purposes, is the perfect girl for me. We have shared hobbies, she's awesomely pretty, she reads Pratchett, plays Munchkin with me, she's very smart and she even plays video games (we've bought a console together). \n\nWhat is the problem then, you might ask? Well, the problem is that she's almost 5 years younger than me. I'm 25.\n\nShe says she loves me, and I believe her. But she also dropped a few hints about the fact that she feels like she's settling down too early. \n\nSo we've had a few talks about that and I was right. And we came to the conclusion that we should take a break. Well, I came to the conclusion, because I don't want her to feel that she's losing something because of me. \n\nSo, in a few days we'll be both single, and I don't know if I did the right thing. Yes, it feels like the right thing, but at the same time it breaks me inside. \n\nWhat do you think?", "summary": "Boy and girl. After a 2 year relationship, even though we get along perfectly, girl is afraid of settling down. Both agree to take a break. "} {"id": "t3_qy1py", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "So it's over, i guess? Nearly 2 weeks with no txts, confused and need direction.", "post": "Greetings Reddit,\n\nThrow away acct. So I'm a M(29), her F(33). Been together almost 2 months now. So I'll jump right into it. She's great, we enjoy the same things, haven't dissagreed on really anything so far, and we have established a rapport over txts mostly that just works. (txt is how she communicates mainly)\n\nSkip to two weeks ago... we end up spending 3 days in a row together, dinner and a movie one night, just a walk for ice cream the next (on her suggestion), went walking around down town the 3rd, so far so good i think. \n\nWe're supposed to meet up again for a sporting event we both planned and bought tickets to when I get a txt that a room mate of hers became violent and they came to blows in the wee hours of the morning. Over the last few weeks she has been opening up about being in an abusive relationship in the past and how she is in a similar situation with her living arangements (in short she doesn't really defend herself and people have taken advantage of this).\n\nHer lease is up in a month and she had planned to move back with her folks for the time being but this 'event' spurred this process forward to leaving 'right now'. I offered to help if needed and got a txt back that did not seem her normal self stating \"this was a long time coming, and this is something she needs to do alone, she hopes I understand, I just need some space right now, I will txt you next week when it all settles down, i dont want you to see me like this\" (paraphrased).\n\nWell as the title states... it's been nearly 2 weeks and not a peep. I haven't sent anything thus far and a female coworker of mine suggested maybe i sent an informal 'how you holding up' txt, while all my guy friends suggest 'dont you dare txt that woman!' etc, etc. \n\nWhat are your thoughts Reddit? Hit me... I'm lost.", "summary": "Ladyfriend was showing nothing but possitive interest for over 6 weeks then had a violent encounter with a roommate. Txt'd she is moving out, and haven't heard back in nearly 2 weeks."} {"id": "t3_1kkemy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [f/28] silly for wanting 3 words from my older man [40]?", "post": "I've been with my older boyfriend for 9 months and everything is going great - he's kind, trustworthy, considerate, we get on with each other's parents and friends. Best relationship I've ever had. We haven't argued once and there's never any drama.\n\nOnly thing bugging me is he hasn't said 'I love you' yet. I really need to hear it. Is that silly/too soon/expecting too much/normal??\n\nI know that I love him, but I don't want to say it first. There are a few reasons, mainly that I want to know he means it and isn't just saying it back. (I made the first move and we joke about this - but in all seriousness I wish it was the other way around and want him to make *this* move first!)\n\nAnother reason it concerns me is that he has said those words to other people a lot sooner than 9 months. He was married for over 10 years and has a child with his ex. After their marriage ended but before we met, he had a very short but intense relationship with another woman. They only dated a few months but I have seen correspondence between them stating they love each other. \n\nOur relationship seems so perfect so why hasn't he said it to me when he did to her? :(", "summary": "9 months and boyfriend hasn't said 'I love you', even though everything seems perfect. He said it to an ex a lot sooner!"} {"id": "t3_2wvu52", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17M] really like a girl [17F] who is a teen mother UPDATE", "post": "Link to original post: \n\nNot really going to be a huge update, but i think im approaching a time where im really gonna have to face what i spoke about in my last post. The romance between Emma and I is really beginning to turn into something so to speak. \n\nI had her over for the weekend (my mom was out of town) and we had a great time. Drank a couple beers and chatted on Saturday night and watched the Oscars together last night (first time watching for both of us).\n\nWell basically, last night thinks kind of heated up a bit. We did a lot of talking about just life in general and the direction we're both headed, how important it is to get her highschool diploma and not adult diploma (for her daughters sake, and hers) and a lot of talking about her asswipe baby daddy. At certain points she became visibly upset and i came over to comfort her, and I really layed on the cute things that girls love. It was almost an instinct, it just felt so right in the moment. I played with her hair, layed down next to her, we cuddled, things like that.\n\nWell eventually it was time for bed as we both have school today, so i got her all set up in my bedroom (she sleeps in there alone when she comes over for a night and I crash on the couch) and was about to head downstairs, but she asked me to get into bed with her cause it was cold. We laid there and talked for awhile and she cuddled me for basically the whole night (we fell asleep). She woke me up maybe a half hour ago with a few really soft kisses and headed off to her house to get ready for school (she lives about a five minute walk from me).\n\nThis is the furthest from platonic we have gone, and like i said in my last post the chemistry is DEFINITELY there. I am at a point where i really want to persue a relationship with this girl, but im still afraid of my mother getting in the way (see my last post). The only thing between me and this amazing girl is the fact that I cannot see my mother accepting her simply because she has a daughter, and its honestly torture.", "summary": "Things went further in a romantic direction for Emma and I and i feel like the time is coming where im going to have to deal with the issues my mother will inevitably cause because of Emma's daughter."} {"id": "t3_1mjyb9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29f] am in a good loving relationship with my boyfriend[28m] the only issue is I want to get married, he doesn't.", "post": "Our relationship is great, we love each other and get along well but moving forward I would like marriage and babies.\n He's on the fence about kids and firm on no marriage. We plan on moving in together soon and he's up for it, but doesn't ever seem all that excited about it either. \n I need advice on if leaving is a good idea. It would be hard to walk away from him, I don't think our relationship is one that will ever be easy to duplicate but I don't want to deny myself the things I want in life.\n I just wish we were on the same page but I fear that will never happen.", "summary": "The relationship is great, I want to get married but he doesn't and I don't know how to move forward."} {"id": "t3_1zldit", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 M] have been talking to [18 F] in my class. We do a quick conversation but don't talk much after. I'm also interested in asking her out but not sure how to go with that", "post": "Hopefully this doesn't become too long\n\nSo the girl i sit next to we generally just say simple things and actions but it just stops soon. \n\nAn example is she'll look up me walking to my seat, she smiles at me, I smile at her. I say something like \"Whats up\" and she'll say something pretty bland like \"nothing much, you?\" Then I said \"Ah, I just took two tests, so pretty tired and dead beat\" then it just kinda stops there\n\nI just assumed she doesn't like me so she doesn't want to talk much but half the time she starts the conversation with me. But sometimes (like today) we just didn't say anything to each other. She also was homeschooled so maybe she doesn't know how to converse either? I dunno\n\n Also, I don't know if this matters but this professor is really weird and had us have assigned seats. So we had two weeks of preparation for us to have our permanent seats, both of us haven't moved out seats and are now just sitting next to eachother\n\nEver since I was a kid I've been really shy/awkward especially too women (i've never dated) so I guess I'm just not sure how to keep the conversation going. She's also generally one of the people in our class to be in class discussions but I'm generally not, maybe I should also start bringing my self in?", "summary": "Interested in a girl i sit with next to in class but our conversations are abrupt. Need some help in keeping the conversation going"} {"id": "t3_c4abt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Could Cerberus exist in the real world?", "post": "Conspiracy theories and mysterious organizations like The Illuminati aside (which exist to subvert), could [Cerberus] from the Mass Effect universe exist in the world? If the organization had humanities best interests at heart and was benevolent in action could such an entity exist that operates outside of traditional law? Meaning it has it's own government but exists in no particular country but which can also operate in any country without asking for permission from that country.\n\nThe thought process that lead up to this was the fact that a separate private entity could mobilize faster to help people when a natural disaster strikes without having to go through the normal legal channels that exist in that country. Take the Disastrous Gulf Oil Spill as an example, even though a lot of things are being done to resolve the situation it seems as though there is an incredible amount of delay in fixing the issue from beginning to end, everything from the government and organizational level blame to the nitty gritty of the issue, which is action, just seems to be taking an exceptional amount of time for REAL ACTION to take place.\n\nCerberus, which is a fictional organization from a computer game, with supposedly unlimited funds and run by a guy only known as [The Illusive Man] operates outside of the law but wants to do what's best for humanity. \n\nHonestly, I think problems in the world can be resolved A LOT quicker than how they are managed currently and it would almost always seem to be the law or some legislation that gets in the way of a timely resolution.\n\nSo say there were some billionaire in todays world that *truly* had access to unlimited resources, could such a person create this organization similar in outward appearance to Cerberus and actually help humanity without conceding to any nations laws, as long as they were benevolent?", "summary": "Could a gigantic organization that employed the **best people** and which had access to unlimited resources operate outside of any nations laws and help humanity when natural disaster strikes?*"} {"id": "t3_1ohl68", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I (18M) want to ask out a girl (18F) whom I haven't had contact with in 4 years", "post": "So I had this huge crush on this girl during my years in middle-school (Gr. 6-Gr.8) and I'm certain she felt the same, but we were both too nervous to do anything about it. When high-school started we both went to different schools and never had any contact since. I tried to forget about her, but I couldn't and it has caused me to not want to ask any other girl out. After meeting an old friend from middle-school, who went to the same high-school as she did, I came to learn that she attends a university near mine. This friend has rekindled a flame, but I have no clue how to ask her out, let alone approach her. How do I go about doing so? Is it even possible? I should also mention I have her as a friend on FB and the fact that she's also single.", "summary": "I want to ask a girl, whom I haven't had contact with since Gr. 8, out on a date. Advice?"} {"id": "t3_4mjl5i", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I need advice on moving out of home", "post": "I'm a 19 year old male living at home with no job, no car/open license or educational obligations. I have spent the past year working full time and just recently had to quit. I have now had to give all of the money I saved to my mother because of financial issues. I do not get any assistance with driving lessons or hours and am quite frankly treated like a house servant fetching things for my mother or constantly cleaning. My mother is becoming increasingly abusive and does nothing but complain about the smallest things (e.g: a hair on the bathroom floor = scrubbing the floors and benches) As hard as it is to get the motivation to get myself out there, her taunts and harsh words make my almost non existent confidence and self worth basically non existent. \n\nNow that brings me to why I need advice, a friend of mine has offered me to live with him as long as I help pay rent every week. The only way I can get money at this very moment is by getting benefits from the government.. \n\nSo, should I stay with my mother and put up with her constant belittling/complaints and try to push through what she is throwing at me? or move out with my friend with no money, no job, no car, no license or educational obligations?", "summary": "no money, no job, no car, no license or educational obligations. should I stay with abusive mother or friend?"} {"id": "t3_3r1hu1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [18 M] of over one year, am I justified in my anger? Involves alcohol and helicopter parents.", "post": "My boyfriend Alex and I are long distance. I am a sophomore in college and he is finishing up his senior year in high school. It's tough but we see each other about once a month during the school year and we're together all summer and winter break. \n\nThis weekend, I came home because his family threw him a Halloween costume party for his 18th birthday, which was last week. It was mostly family but he invited a few of his friends. Now, Alex does not drink or smoke. I do not drink or smoke. I have in the past, but for personal reasons, I just don't enjoy either.\n\nAlex's friends brought over vape pens and were vaping in the basement. They also brought over a few Mike's Hard Lemonades, which obviously have a very low alcohol content, but Alex's parents are a bit insane. They are extremely strict, helicopter parents. If they knew people were smoking in their basement, and drinking, they would be furious.\n\nEven though Alex is eighteen, they \"punish\" him often still. They treat him like a child. I knew that his parents would come down and find everything in the basement so I was very uncomfortable. I did not want to put up with the wrath of his parents. But Alex was allowing his friends to do whatever they wanted. I think he was feeling very pressured.\n\nI mentioned to Alex numerous times that I did not think this was a good idea, but he just waved off my concerns. So I decided to leave. He got VERY angry, saying that I ruined this weekend, that I was shortening the little time we had together. I told him that I had mentioned I was uncomfortable and he did nothing about, so the next solution was to leave. I didn't want to leave, but I did not want to be there to see his parents freak out and I was just annoyed in general that Alex was giving in to peer pressure. Alex, though, is extremely pissed at me still. But I feel justified in being angry. I'm just looking out for him. What do you think?", "summary": "Boyfriend is being reckless, even though he knows his helicopter parents will punish him. I feel uncomfortable so I leave. He gets pissed. Am I justified in being angry?"} {"id": "t3_1u3syk", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Is the girl I'm dating [35/F] a slut or not?", "post": "I [M/36] just started going out with this girl [F/35] and I'm a bit surprised at her behavior on our 3rd date.\n\nWe didn't do anything on our first couple of dates. Not even holding hands or hugging. On the third date, I walked her to her door, and I wanted to give her a kiss goodnight. Next thing I know, we're making out on her porch. So I pull away after five minutes and I tell her that I gotta go home. She says: where are you going? I wana make out some more, and she pulls me inside her house. 30 minutes later, we're at 3rd base on her couch. I then had to go home, because I had to wake up for work. \n\nI come from a conservative upbringing, and I'm used to dating conservative girls. Usually I'm the one pushing for more. However, this girl is the one who did all the pushing, all the way to 3rd base, and every time I tried to leave (because of work the next day) she would say \"don't go, I want more\". \n\nSo what do you guys think? Is this normal behavior by any average (non-conservative) girl ?", "summary": "on the third date with this girl, she pulled me into her house and kept pushing till we reached 3rd base. She said it's been a while since she had sex. Is this normal?"} {"id": "t3_4uq5yg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M], having trouble feeling like a \"part\" of college and socializing with peers close to my age.", "post": "When I was in high school, I felt like an outsider. I thought as I would grow older this feeling would go away, and the good news is that it has, for the most part. Though, I still find myself mostly socializing with classmates that are older than me, and I have trouble socializing with peers of my own age. \n\nI don't consider the age of a friend to be very important, I just wonder why I never seem to connect with peers of my own age? Anyone else ever feel like they don't fit in very well with their age group?", "summary": "I have trouble socializing with peers of my age, but find it easy to become friends and socialize with peers that are older than me. Is this normal, bad, or good?"} {"id": "t3_38py34", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my Boyfriend[22 M] of over three years, having problems with balancing boundaries and kink", "post": "Early on in our relationship my boyfriend and I had a porn tumblr blog together. We didn't post videos of ourselves (two or three nudes but that's it) but used it more to explore our kinks and look at others together. We are both into BDSM, pet play, but not heavy or 24/7. \n\nAfter moving in with family for a few months for financial reasons we dropped the blog because we didn't want any younger relatives to find it on our computer and we just haven't restarted it since.\n \n\nAlthough we had discussed the difference between doing things together and alone, and laid down cheating guidelines (look but don't touch, not even webcam sex) I recently had to let him know that replying to craigslist personals is cheating in my book. \n\nHe is apologetic and willing to stop/change his habits but I'm worried. We have talked about threesomes before (he is bisexual) but now I am not sure because of the nature of his exchanges with strange women (no men replied to him, not sure if it's from lack of trying or what) I am now very paranoid that he thinks our relationship is open and/or that he will continue this in secret.\n\nHe says he wouldn't have done anything physical without talking to me first but that he does find the idea of sex with a stranger or an occasional hook up arousing. He followed up by saying that he would rather explore these feelings within our relationship either through role playing or fantasizing and will not act on them.\n\nHe has since shown me all the emails, deleted them and even agreed to counseling if needed (for himself for this and other issues he has been having). \n\nIs there anyway to continue being monogamous while still being into pornography and kink or does it open the door too much?", "summary": "Kinky Boyfriend has permission to look but not touch, but now has been messaging women online(it's stopped now)/ Can we keep our monogamy and still be somewhat open online or is it too temping?"} {"id": "t3_4kbptg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M/F] with my girlfriend [19 M/F] of 4 months, are long distance now, and I keep encountering trust issues, even though she has never done anything to make me not trust her.", "post": "So we have been dating now for four months, we've known each other for almost 9 months, and our relationship is amazing when we are together, but since we left school for the summer, it has become long distance. Long distance is hard on its own, but for some reason I have been getting nervous when she says she is going out drinking with friends, etc... and I have felt like this rarely earlier in our relationship. I always bring it up with her when I am feeling anxious. She has never done anything to not deserve my trust, and I feel really guilty for feeling this way. She has told me time after time that she loves me and knows herself and would never want to hurt me, and I feel the same way. \nI think this may be an issue relating to my insecurities and self-consciousness, as I have never had someone like her before, and this is my first relationship. I don't want to feel anxious when she goes out, what advice do you guys have for getting over these kinds of feelings and really becoming comfortable trusting someone completely in a relationship?", "summary": "I have been feeling anxious in my long distance relationship regarding putting complete trust in my girlfriend, even though she deserves it and has never betrayed my trust before."} {"id": "t3_3wcjk1", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "I haven't heard from my SO (M24) in 3 days and I'm starting to get really worried.", "post": "UPDATE:\n\nafter 4 days of no contact he finally got in touch and said he was on an island just off Cambodia where the whole islands wifi waant working. \n\nThank you everyone for your assurance you helped ease my worries. So so relieved I can update with happy news :)\n\nMy SO (25 M) has been travelling in SE Asia for a couple of months. We've been keeping in touch over whatsapp and Facebook chat and messaging each other every day.\n\nLast time I heard from him was 3 days ago and he said he was by the beach in Cambodia. \n\nMy messages won't deliver on whatsapp and he's not been online for 3 days, which suggests his phone is off or he has no wifi. I checked facebook and he's not been active there for the same time, and I also checked his friends facebook who he was travelling with and he's not been active for 3 days either. \n\nI'm well aware he could just be somewhere with no wifi, but it does just seem that everywhere at the moment has wifi. I've been hoping up until this point he was on a boat trip or something, but now its been 3 days it's starting to look less and less likely.\n\nI just don't know what to do, it's scary not being able to get in touch with him to know if he's okay, and I can't stop myself thinking that something bad has happened. \n\nI havent yet told snyone I've not spoken to him as I didnt want to be dramatic and make a fuss out of nothing... At what point should I start to get worried / what am I supposed to do? Any suggestions would be really helpful as I'm at a loss.", "summary": "BF is travelling in Cambodia and I haven't heard from him in 3 days now. Starting to get worried about him."} {"id": "t3_300x3b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with an old college friend [18F], sort of first date, haven't seen her in over a year, need advice please!", "post": "To give a little context - I'm awful with girls. I've only had two relationships, one where I was rather young (like 12/13, if you want to even call that dating) and it was over good old msn chat! Kinda cute tbf. Both relationships (other was with a 17 year old when I was 16) didn't last long. I also got close with a girl but she ultimately told me to bugger off and another girl I slept with. Unfortunately still a virgin, but it was like foreplay stuff. She also told me to eff off.\n\nAlso have rather bad social anxiety, but I dunno, because this girls shy, plus we're both introverted gamers and into the same music and stuff so should be OK...?\n\nOn to the question! So, I haven't seen this chick in year and a half, but I messaged her couple days ago saying I miss her (hadn't messaged her since Christmas at this point) and she replied back the same, and then I suggested we meet up, thinking maybe half hour coffee shop thing. \n\nAnd this is where the sort of date comes in, because she said that sounds awesome but I'm awful at planning days out. I messaged her saying this thought and she ain't got back to me yet, but assuming she does want it to be a whole day thing... Do I even treat it as a date? If so, what kind of advancements, if any, should I make? Big, like possibly hand holding, or small, like a hug which all my girl mates want anyway (I'm a good hugger apparently) - yeah, just general advice would be awesome and thanks in advance!", "summary": "not seen this girl in ages, really bad with women, might be going on a first date with her (that is, I've been on dates before) and need advice!"} {"id": "t3_15d98l", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, how can I help getting over an ex-girlfriend?", "post": "I am going to try to simplify this the best I can. I am a 20 year old male attending college in California. I dated my ex-girlfriend from Sophomore Year of High School, until she broke up with me this February. She was a year ahead of me in school, and went to college 1 year before me (we both transferred as juniors from community college). Basically, I have been slowly getting over it ever since we broke up, small steps at a time. I have seen her briefly for lunch over summer once, and just saw her again now since it is Christmas break. We just went out for dessert together, nothing monumental really happened. Said hello to her parents, exchanged little gifts etc.\nWhat I am getting at here, is that I still do have strong feelings for this girl deep down. She told me that she got a job offer in Chicago and she is going after her next (final) semester at her college. Pretty much there is no way that I can work out getting back together with her. I am really bummed out and I still think about her all the time, even though it has been almost a year since our break up. I haven't been \"that\" ex-boyfriend who calls/texts constantly trying to get her back. We have casually texted and exchanged a phone call or two since we broke up, nothing serious. I just want to know what I can do to help me forget about her and truly move on. For those of you wondering, she broke up with me because she couldn't balance her studies/new lifestyle with having a boyfriend. Pretty much she thought we were on different levels at the time.", "summary": "still not over my ex-girlfriend who broke up with me ~1 year ago, and I want to get over her."} {"id": "t3_3xn139", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [F23] set boundaries with my mom [F60] for the holidays?", "post": "I'm an only child and my mom has always been extremely controlling and overbearing. We are extremely close and enjoy spending time together, but frequently get into arguments.\n\nSo first of all, my mom and I already spend a LOT of time together. I live about an hour from home and we talk on the phone throughout the day, every single day. We also hangout quite a bit in person, more so than the average family IMO. \n\nIn spite of this, my mom seems to feel starved for attention and is extremely resentful if I choose to do anything else in favor of being with her. As an example, I've chosen to come home for about a week for the holidays. My mom wants to spend a lot of time with me, which I'm happy to do. However, several of my friends are hosting holiday parties and I've been going out to see them the past couple days. \n\nEvery time I've gone out, my mom has dropped hints that her feelings are hurt and she feels ignored. This morning she finally confronted me and said, \"Let me know when you actually decide to hangout. It's not... Working out so well, so far.\" She glared at me and looked really upset. \n\nI'm confused by this because I've only been home for a day and a half and still have another five days to be with her. This response is not unusual, though, because it seems like it's really easy to hurt her feelings. \n\nI guess my question is- is this normal for a parent? And how do I set boundaries with her?", "summary": "My mom and I spend time together 24/7, but she still gets hurt when I choose to spend time with my friends."} {"id": "t3_24t8ky", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my father [64 M], always tells me \"no, you're wrong/you can't do that\" or ignores what I say, doesn't remember anything", "post": "He is really upsetting. He has always found fault with me. He doesn't form memories apparently. He corrects me whenever I say something, and if he misunderstood something it was always on me. No matter how something turns out he always frames it so that it was in some way my fault but never out of my will, so that I've tied myself in knots throughout my life dealing with him, trying to please him and make him happy, and everything in my life is centered on him. I've come to realize that he probably just really really hates me. He wouldn't go out of his way, except for certain things which fit his preconceptions. I am caught within catch-22s he makes and he always guilt trips me. He is amazingly passive-aggressive and frequently stonewalls me, which somehow works because he always seems to plan on me messing up.", "summary": "I am dependent on my father mentally and otherwise and always have been. How do I give up on him for validation, think for myself and get away?"} {"id": "t3_2ctdue", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27F] met a guy [36M] I actually really like and we've been talking for a short while. I'm relationship naive and want to know if I should be straightforward or patient with his seeming lack of interest", "post": "He seems like a really nice guy and I'm pretty into him. We met online, but have yet to meet in person despite talking for about a week. He comes off really reserved, a military guy, and he struck me as different because he was the only guy I met from from this online thing who *wasn't* 1) only looking to just to seeing what happens 2) or avoiding something serious. He seems to really want to find something substantial. \n\nThe problem is his signals are strange. I compliment him a lot when I rarely ever do that. I flirt a bit. I initiated talking offline in text and phone chatting. I feel like I'm giving way too much effort thinking that maybe he is shy or a little guarded. I don't really know what I'm doing or what to look for, but I feel like he should sometimes say \"you look pretty\" when I send pics or be trying to get closer to me. He just seems really passive despite saying he's got his fingers crossed with me and he's happy we're forming a connection. I backed off of texting today because he was giving me nothing even though we had a really good convo last night, but then he told me \"text me whenever, I always have my phone on me\" and wanted me to add him to Facebook. I'm confused.\n\nI was thinking of just asking him \"are you into me or not really feeling it because it kind of seems like you're not really feeling it\", but I don't know if I should do that or just go silent or do something else. I'm really scared of investing time in yet another jerk. I have never met a guy who was genuinely interested in me besides trying to score a one night stand and it just hurts. I want to find someone who has some sort of passion towards me.", "summary": "I met a pretty stand up guy who is fairly guarded and reserved and I don't know if I'm wasting my time or if I should have a different approach with him"} {"id": "t3_3hltws", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [38/F] bf[26/M] called me a c*nt last night", "post": "We have been together 3 years it's been a really rocky relationship. Lately stuff been going really well. \n\nHe was helping me compose a long letter to my boss about a work trip I have to go on, he writes a lot better than I do and this was a task that he volunteered doing even though I didn't ask him. \n\nWe ended up getting into some argument about whether or not Venezuela was a poorer country than Ecuador. Really stupid I know, but I told him I had been to both countries and even if Venezuela had more money technically, visually it looks a lot poorer there. \n\nHe ended up flat out calling me a cunt. Like didn't say \"stop being such a cunt\" he just goes, \"you're a cunt.\"\n\nNot that one is better than the other.\n\nHe certainly has verbally abused me in the past. I've been called stupid by him and so on, but never have I been described as being a \"cunt\" by anyone. And furthermore, he is extremely adamant about the word \"bitch\". Like for example, he would get mad if I was in line at Target or something, and let's just say hypothetically the cashier bothered me, I would say to him in the parking lot- \"wow that lady was really a bitch\". He would get really angry that I use that word to describe a woman. \n\nSo my point to him is, if other women can't be called bitch, because he considers it degrading, why is it ok to describe the woman he loves as a cunt? He thinks the words are totally different.\n\nHow?\n\nHe just texted me, and said I was being a cunt, that's why he called me that, and to stop being so sensitive about it. This reasoning really bothers me. \n\nAm I wrong here? He says I'm bullying him into a fight over this.", "summary": "Boyfriend called me a cunt even though he says he will never use the word bitch to describe a woman because it's degrading."} {"id": "t3_2w92jw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my Coworker [17 F] Unsure if asking her out is the correct decision at this point in time.", "post": "So recently over the past month or so I've been talking to this cute girl who works at the same restaurant as me part-time. Every so often (about once a week) we finish our shifts at the same time and I'll give her a ride home. Unfortunately due to the nature of my work we rarely get to say more than \"Hi\" to each other during our working hours, so these rides home are really the only opportunity I get to talk to her.\n\nAnyways so over the past month or so whenever I catch her eye I notice she looks away and smiles, even to a dense guy like me this looks like she might be interested (She's shy). And I'm interested in her too, but there's a few issues I see with asking her out and that's what I'm particularly worried about.\n\nBasically whenever I talk to her she always complains that she's so busy with studying for exams (final year of HS) and we're both working every weekend, so she rarely has any free time. I feel like if I were to ask her out, even if she said yes, we would get to hang out like once a week maybe *before* work. Which isn't really ideal for a relationship and I can't imagine it being very easy to balance along with everything else. The only other thing holding me back is the unwritten \"don't date coworkers\" rule that people usually talk about. I'm not really that worried about that but it's something to consider.\n\nBasically I feel like time constraints would hinder our relationship, am I right in feeling this way? Or am I looking too much into it and should just ask her out?", "summary": "Want to ask out coworker after receiving mostly positive signs, but worried that the relationship won't work out/will get rejected due to her not having enough time to divide between me/work/studies."} {"id": "t3_vn8ld", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can anyone help me fix a Nintendo DS for my disabled mom? [X-Post with Gaming]", "post": "Sorry, didn't know if i should post in AskReddit or Gaming, hence the cross post. \n\nAnyway, my mom and I got DS's a while back for birthday gifts. They were both used, but I really enjoyed playing with my mom (we liked playing mario and yugioh) So anyway she got sick and ended up having her leg amputated and the DS's got put away. She recently mentioned them because she was bored over the weekend. I pulled them out and found that both of them had thier upper screen broken. I don't really know how this happened. I told her and she was pretty upset. I'd love to buy her a new one so she could at least play but I don't have a lot if any money (some weeks it's medicine or groceries) so I wanted to know if there is a cheap way to repair the screen? Any where i could get a SUPER cheap replacement screen? I'm not very tech savvy when it comes to these sorts of devices so I don't really know what is entailed or if I could even do it. Here are some pics of the broken DS's.\n\n*\n*\n* \n\nIt's a shame they didn't break differently because then at least maybe i could have done a transplant from one to the other. Thanks for any advice you can provide!", "summary": "Both the top screens on two DS's broke, need cheap/easy way to replace or repair for my wonderful mother who puts up with me somehow. "} {"id": "t3_296ay2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 F] with my parents [50s M/F], they want to come to the company picnic.", "post": "I just got done with my first year of university and I am living back with my parents for the summer (because moneys and stuff. It's just easier). I got a summer internship with a construction management company and received an invitation yesterday to their company picnic. It was mailed to me at home, so my parents immediately knew about it. They started asking if they could come. I originally said I'd ask, but now I'm thinking it would be really awkward and unprofessional for my parents to come to the company picnic. \n\nAm I right in thinking it would be really weird? If so, how should I tell my parents that they can't come? Also, I'm planning on taking my SO [20 M] of three years instead, and so I need help telling them that he's coming and they're not...", "summary": "Parents think they're coming to the company picnic for my internship. I'd really rather just bring my SO. Awkward situation."} {"id": "t3_2ntt3g", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by fixing an autographed signature.", "post": "Like most TIFU's, this happened many years ago. This was about seven years ago when I was seven.\n\nNow, I come from a family of die-hard Boston Red Sox fans. The Red Sox have just one their second World Series parade and we just got back from it. Like I said, die-hards, we've been to all the past 3 parades.\n\nNow, I was looking at our autographed baseball collection and one of them was by David Ortiz, my favorite baseball player. That baseball was starting to look dirty and the signature was starting to fade.\n\nWhat does someone do with bad OCD and cleaning issues do? I grabbed the ball out of its case, cleaned it under the sink and grabbed a sharpie and made the part of the signature that was faded darker.\n\nWell, let's just say, you can tell someone messed with it, enjoy it [here](", "summary": "7 year old me noticed that my autographed David Ortiz baseball signature was fading so I made it darker where it was fading and fucked up the whole thing."} {"id": "t3_3eh055", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (24M) need some advice regarding girl I met (27F) a few months back.", "post": "Hello Reddit! I feel like I know where my relationship with this girl is going, but I don't really have anyone to talk to about it, so I was looking for some advice. I met this girl on vacation and we ended up hooking up and spent the last 2 nights she was there hanging out drinking and such. She gave me her number and told me to text her so we can meet up, even though she lives in another state about 8 hours away. This happened at the beginning of May and I'm still talking to her, which is good I guess? We've been texting and Snapchatting and she constantly calls me doll, babe, player, or cutie. The problem is, multiple times she has texted me saying we need to meet up, she can't wait to meet up, etc., but whenever I text her about meeting up, she won't respond. For example, the other day she texted me and said \"we need to travel to each other.\" Ok, awesome, sounds good. I texted her the next day asking if she wanted to try and pick some dates we can meet up on, but she didn't answer. About an hour or two later she sends me about 3 Snapchats, so she has her phone, but is ignoring my text. I guess my basic question is, am I getting played? I pretty much feel I am, but like I said at the beginning, I'm just looking for others opinions. Thanks Reddit!", "summary": "Pretty sure I am getting played, but I don't really have anyone to talk to about it, so I'm reaching out on here."} {"id": "t3_3j1fr2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Was I [32 M] out of line to ask her [26 F] to be more spontaneous?", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for a bit over four months. I suggested that we bake a cake together to bring to her friend's party as well as some bran muffins for her dad who is recovering from surgery.\n\nI'm the cook / baker in our relationship since she does neither (she knows how to make sandwiches and I think meat loaf). I've made her dinners and pizzas and cakes on several occasions (from scratch, not pre-mixed stuff).\n\nWhen I arrived at her place, she showed me a simple bran muffin recipe on pinterest with 3 ingredients. I explained that the easiest recipe might not produce the best end result. She seemed upset that I made the muffins my way instead. The muffins turned out perfect and both she and her dad liked them (and her mom too).\n\nThe next morning I texted her to let her know that I thought the party was great and that I had fun. I followed up by sayinng that she should try to be more spontaneous and have more faith in people. This upset her greatly and she called, crying, claiming that I accused her of being boring.\n\nIn retrospect I suppose I chose my words poorly, and really I just wanted her to trust me a bit more than some random post on pinterest. But she threatened to break up with me and that this was \"the last straw\". She later calmed down a bit and we talked it through (at least I think we did).\n\nWas I being that much of a jerk?", "summary": "Texted GF to be more spontaneous because she was upset I used more than 3 ingredients for muffin recipe. GF threatened to break up."} {"id": "t3_3mw54f", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Need help!", "post": "I just moved into a house with my girlfriend and sister and they both have dogs. Both are female, one is a black lab the other is a rat terrier. The lab is fixed but my girlfriends terrier is not and she refuses to get her fixed until she breeds her. The terrier isn't very well house trained (my girlfriend had the dog before we met) I practically trained the dog as best I could. I've done everything and anything I possibly could to train the pup to go outside and for brief instances she's actually good about it. However since my sister started living with us I've noticed how the terrier is urinating and well, shitting EVERYWHERE. I literally laid down on my couch and the minute I do the terrier jumps up and urinates right beside me! \nMy girlfriend is oblivious to it and doesn't/hasn't treated this like a serious issue since the dog is well over a year and a half old. I've never personally raised a dog on my own before so I'm kind of lost here. Any advice or helpful hints would be greatly appreciated since our landlord does business with my family and I don't want to ruin any of that because of my girlfriends dog.", "summary": "gf's dog won't quit pissing/shitting in house. Can't find a solution what do reddit?"} {"id": "t3_32p49t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24M] am unsure if my feelings for my good friend [23F] will ever disappear", "post": "It started having a crush on my work colleague 1.5 years ago. We worked together but didn't spend much time together socially, and if we did, always with another work colleague. We had a lot of similar interests and we always had a good time talking together. At this point i didn't realize i had feelings for her, but my day was always brightened after having a laugh with her. It should be mentioned that she had a boyfriend. After 5-6 months, we started hanging out more, just the two of us, having deep conversations and i found we agreed on a lot of things. This is where the feelings began to develop. In part, i think, due to me not having had such a connection with a girl before, not like this anyway. I knew she had a boyfriend and i knew i wasn't the type of guy she would have a relationship with anyways, so i tried my hardest to kill these feelings. I also haven't had a good friend like her in a long time, so the thought of losing her by cutting her off where too much.\n\nShe quit her job about half a year ago to start something new, and ever since that we've been hanging out 2-6 times a week. I feel like i have my feelings under control. I've gotten to know her very well and with an objective eye i know we wouldn't fit together in a relationship. But, i just can't stop thinking of her. Not 24/7, but at least once every day. It's driving me a bit mad, because i know there's nothing there and there never will be, but my brain likes to make me think there is. I always realize shortly after how stupid it is and then i laugh a little at myself.\n\nWill this ever get better? Will i ever stop thinking of her this way? I feel like i'm conning her into believing i'm just a friend. I also feel like i may be doing this to myself. I'm not the best at making new friends and the thought of losing her ruins my day.", "summary": "Met a girl at work who i developed feelings for. Spend a year being a friend while trying to kill my feelings. Unsure if feelings will ever stop, will they? I really hope i'm just being impatient."} {"id": "t3_250pah", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My boyfriend [25/m] says I [22/f] shouldn't lecture him?", "post": "My boyfriend is three years older than me, and overall, he's very mature and intelligent. But sometimes, he acts like a child. I love him and care about him, so when I think he didn't do something right, I feel the need/obligation to tell him about it. If I didn't care about him, I wouldn't waste my breath. \n\nToday, he went to his tattoo artist to finish his half-sleeve tattoo. The tattoo artist is well-respected and the tattoo looks amazing. BUT he never even asked how much it would cost. The tattoo artist charged him $450 for the first session, and another $350 for today's session. I'm not saying the tattoo itself cost too much, because I know good tattoos are costly (and you should never go cheap on a tattoo). \n\nHe's angry because I lectured him like he's a child, and because it's his money, not mine. But that's not even the point. The point is, it's fine that he charges $100/hour, but he still should've asked during the consultation (or when he was working on him). What if the tattoo artist, or some other person in the future, decides to rip him off? \n\nI know he's a grown adult, and I know he can take care of himself, but I still feel the need to express my feelings. Is that wrong? We're very close and comfortable with each other, and we always talk about everything... so I should just keep to myself and watch him make \"stupid\" decision?", "summary": "I feel the need to voice my concerns when he does something stupid, but he thinks I shouldn't lecture him like a child."} {"id": "t3_13ilzr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what was your favourite moment from history class?", "post": "After reading this story, it got me thinking of what my favourite moment in history class. For me, it was an activity our class did where we where we were put into groups, and each group was assigned a country in pre-WWI Europe. The goal of the conference was to stop the first world war from happening. The way the activity worked was each country had a leader, and the leader's job was to give propositions to the teacher. The league (countries) then voted, using secret ballets, on whether they wanted the motion to pass or not. At least half the countries in the league had to vote yes in order for the motion to pass. There was about 10 min between vote, which allowed for countries to make agreements, form alliances, ect. We were allowed to assassinate one person without war breaking out, which in retrospect, we should have used.\nIt was the second day of this, and the leader of Serbia happened to be sick, so the second in command, who happened to be the class troll, was in charge of Serbia. All was going well, when the Serbian leader put forward a motion that the league would take control over Russia and Britain. I was a part of Britain, so my group members and I were Running around the class room, frantically trying to get enough countries to agree to veto the motion. The leader of our group then gave a note to the teacher that Britain had positioned the Royal Navy and that if the motion was to pass, it would shell the conference. When the vote finally happened, every country but two agreed to the motion, so the leader of every major country in Europe was killed, starting the first world war.", "summary": "In our history class, the first world war was started because Britain and Russia were taken over by every European country, so Britain shelled the leaders of every major European country."} {"id": "t3_4vscth", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] have gone on 2 dates with a girl [21F] I met online, now we're both on vacation. Should I contact her during or wait till we both get back?", "post": "Hey all,\n\nI've gone on two dates (both last week) with a girl I met online. They both went really well in my opinion and we agreed to hang out again when we both got back from vacation (we joked a lot about mini-golfing so said we should do that, but no concrete dates have been set). \n\nThe day after our second date we texted a little bit, but nothing major - and haven't been in contact at all since. A few days after our second date I started my vacation and a few days after that she started hers. \n\nShould I send her a small text, (\"Hey! How's your trip to {location} going?\") or let it lie until we're both back in town early next week? \n\nWe've only known each other for like a week, so I don't have any expectations on her to message me or ask me how my trip is going, but I was wondering if I could / should on my end. Like I mentioned, both dates seemed to go really well (we ended up kissing on our second date, if that matters), so that just makes me wonder if it's weird if we don't contact each other in 1.5 weeks (how long it will have been when we're both back in town).\n\nOther small issue is that I'm not sure she has cell / data where she's gone. I could message her on FB though. \n\nThanks!", "summary": "Went on a few dates with a girl, which went well. We're both off on separate week long vacations now. Should I text her or wait till we're both back in town?"} {"id": "t3_2q5v6r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16m] am wondering if this is too creepy or weird.", "post": "This girl [16] and I play this online game together and have for a (relatively) long time now (8 months(ish)?). I'm not sure if she does or not (pretty sure she does) but I consider us friends to an extent. \n\nWe talk a lot about anything really almost daily. We do get kinda flirty sometimes but I don't think either of us think of us as serious because we really only know each other over text in a video game.\n\nBut I really want to thank her for being such a good friend to me for all this time and am wondering if this seems to creepy.\n\nThis is kinda a rough draft I just wrote out:\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\nWe have known each other for a long time now haven't we. Considering my not-so-perfect social skills, I think it's really amazing that you have been so nice to me for so long. If I think about it, even if you don't think our \"relationship\" is out of the ordinary, you are very high on the list of good things that have happened to me in my life. And even if it seems weird, (which I am aware it probably does) I really want to thank you for being such a good friend. But u know I'm just going to put myself out there and say that you have made my life a lot better, and me a lot more confident irl. I really look forward to and enjoy playing with you on here and just wanted to let you know. And to let you know that I care about you and that I have been and will be here for you if you ever need anything. \n\nIk that was sappy and awkward >_< I'm sorry lol. \n------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nAlso maybe at a different time if it seems appropriate, ask for a different form of contact, fb, skype, etc?\n\nDoes this seem ok to you guys or should I not send this to her?", "summary": "I am wondering if I should send a thank-you to my online friend for being such a good friend. Also if I should maybe get a different form of contact from her in the future (or maybe now idk?)?"} {"id": "t3_ec6l7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My neighbor is bat-shit insane. I need some ideas that won't get me arrested to make her back off.", "post": "My next door neighbor is some kind of crazy and over the top annoying. Yesterday - Thanksgiving - she started he outdoor stereo system at about 10 a.m. - as she does. She only has one CD and it's a mix with The Gambler, Sweet Home Alabama, and that Zac Brown song and some other random shit. We left at 1:30 for dinner, and when we got back several hours later, It was still playing. And they were drink and noisy and the same damn songs all effing night. Going inside and shutting the doors didn't help. We asked them to turn it down - they turned it up. We finally called the cops after 12 hours, and they turned it down for about 10 minutes. Then they turned it up even louder after the cops left. The cops basically said, there's nothing we can do - it's not 1 a.m. So we decided to put on our own music. System of a Down - on repeat the Prison song (don't know what the name is). We let it play with the speakers pointing at her patio for about an hour and a half before they called the cops. The cops came, said turn it down, so we did. When the cops left, the son - who's in his 30s, threatened both of us - fortunately, the cops didn't actually leave - unbeknownst to us. They were listening at the fence to see if it would escalate. They intervened and told the son to back off or he would get arrested. Other than playing System of a Down every time they crank it up and start being obnoxious drunk, does anyone have any ideas about how to put my neighbor in her place?", "summary": "If you've ever had a horrible neighbor (really horrible), was there anything you did to make them leave you alone, that didn't get you arrested, but annoyed the crap out of them?"} {"id": "t3_43ns91", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] am struggling with pre-existing intimacy problems as I get close to friends now [21F],[20F]", "post": "I've always had trouble making and keeping friends. Nothing abnormal, some mild anxiety after bad experiences in middle school. Throughout high school I decided to go it alone and did well with a few friends I would only see and speak to once a week. \n\nI met my current friends about two years ago. For the past couple of months I've been really stressed and I couldn't figure out why. I think now it's possible that I've become close with them to the point of discomfort. I trust these guys a lot. I care about them, a lot. I've told them things I wouldn't tell anyone. It's felt really good to be able to have that relationship! But I also feel weak and exposed. I feel some deterioration in my self worth. \n\nThe anxiety is coming back to bite me in the ass. They know I have intimacy problems, we've talked about it before. They know I have fears and weaknesses and that just makes me really uncomfortable. I know some things about them as well, but now I'm not the collected and composed person I might have appeared to be before. It's just a really big change and I feel kind of overwhelmed. Also feel like I want to pull back to my comfort zone. If anyone has similar situations/stories to share, please do!", "summary": "After years of no real friends I finally have people I care about, but being in an intimate relationship is apparently not in my comfort zone."} {"id": "t3_31p89c", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU: Embarrassing myself by getting locked out of the car by a spider.", "post": "TIFU: Today on my way out of my college campus a spider made me its bitch. (Worth the read) I was driving off my college's campus when I saw a big hairy spider descend down it's web onto my steering wheel. Alarmed, I started to pull over to the side of the road only using the nubs of my hands. I get out of the car in a panic, forgetting to turn off the car, take it out of gear, and taking out the keys from the ignition. I do, however, pull the parking brake up. Car dies (because it is manual trans) and I begin to pace back and forth for about 10 minutes, I gather a dandelion in hopes it'll help me get the spider out, and begin getting strange looks from anyone driving by. After deciding that a measly little dandelion isn't strong enough to flick the spider out of the car, I decide I should use one of my pencils that is in my bag which is in my car. I attempt to open the Jeep doors, they're both locked. I suppose I must have locked my door by force of habit, as I do anytime I get out of my car. Having a soft top Jeep, I unzip my windows, reach in and unlock my door. I grab a pencil from my bag and begin to, very awkwardly, hold the driver's door open and attempt to flick the spider out of the car. I think I saw it fly out, but I wasn't able to find it on the ground near my car. Now, hours after the incident, I'm still terrified that it may still be lingering somewhere in the car.", "summary": "Almost died because a spider appeared out of nowhere in my car, and I should have just torched the car instead of making a fool of myself for anyone driving by watching me dance around my car with a dandelion."} {"id": "t3_khk48", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is your most disappointing New Year celebration?", "post": "I'll start.\nTwo years ago I decided to spend it with my girlfriend at her place. She had been invited to this party/concert a couple of miles away from her house so naturally we went. She was also supposed to sing at the concert so I thought this was a pretty big deal. We left pretty early so she could make the sound check and everything. We show up and it's this local normally used by boyscouts or something, much smaller than I expected. First of, she introduces me to the guys she's supposed to sing with and when they ask if I'm her boyfriend, she says no. We had been dating for a couple of months and she was immature as hell, but what the hell, I just travelled across the country to spend New Year with her and I get that at the start of the evening. Doesn't get better from here. \nI waited for hours being bored as hell since noone else showed up until a few hours later. Didn't really matter anyway since the only person I knew was my gf. People started arriving and it got more and more awkward since they were all black (not a racist, just felt it was weird with me and my gf being the only white people there).\nLater that evening I felt this intense pain in one of my testicles. I went to the bathroom about 6 times in one hour and it wouldn't go away. To this day I have no idea what it was, but I've never felt it again.\nPeople didn't even recognize that the clock had struck 12 so I found out myself by checking my phone. Didn't even see a single firework that day. Shared a tiny itchy couch with my gf and got about 1 hour of sleep in total. Oh, and my gf sang one single song with some young hip-hop wannabes. Worst. New Year. Ever.", "summary": "Party was crap, found out my girlfriend didn't see us as a couple, intense pain in testicle, no fireworks in sight, only white guy at the party, night spent on the itchiest fucking couch in the world"} {"id": "t3_4krmca", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriends keep asking for marriage, I never commit. Me [25F] with my bf[27M] of 9 months, do I fear commitment, have grass-is-greener syndrome, or lack love?", "post": "My first relationship that was 2 years was passionate but troubled. In that relationship I was slow to admit my feelings-- to both him and myself. I didn't say \"I love you\" until a year in. Early on, he wanted to get married, I didn't feel us getting married felt right so I left him as to not lead him on. For the next 2 years I felt a lot of regret and pain over leaving the man I loved, but still believe it was the right choice. \n\nSecond boyfriend lasted 2 months, he started to say he knew I was the one he would marry, I panicked as I didn't feel the same so fast and the situation felt similar to my first relationship so he dumped me. \n\nSo spent a year single, then dated around a while, then met my current bf. My relationship now is more healthy. It is not as much raw passion as my first but more centered on shared values and communication. Whenever we have arguments we talk through them, he always listens and works on ways to improve the relationship. He said \"I love you\" about a month in and says it to me everyday. It has been 9 months and I have not said it back. (only ever said it to my first bf and took a year then) He wants to get married, but is willing to wait until I feel ready. I have been honest with him and told him I am not even ready to say I love you, much less get married. I am not sure if its that I just don't love him that way, am afraid to commit, have an unrealistic desire for a passion like my first love, or have a false sense that the \"grass is always greener\". I have been careful to not lead him on, but also fear letting him go in fear of repeating that feeling of deep regret I felt when leaving my first relationship.", "summary": "Decent boyfriends keep asking for marriage, I am never on the same page and I don't know if its them or me"} {"id": "t3_fik5y", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Starting a new job on Monday... earlier today I setup a callback for the dream job.... HALP.", "post": "OK, so I've been out of work since December 3rd. I applied at many many places and put out of my resume in a lot of good places. Including my Dream Job at Company \"Huge People\"\n\nI actually have been turned down by Huge People's automated hoop jumping 4 times now... but I'm really qualified for the job. I have in depth background and it was literally my life for three years. (they are asking for people with 5-7 years experience)\n\nNow, I have a job at Small People, I interviewed with them last week, they checked my references and made me a good offer that was right about the same amount of money that I was making before I departed my last job. \n\nSo an old friend send me an email today to say that a recruiter from \"Huge People\" had emailed him and he was going to check if it was OK to send to me. About an hour later I get the email forwarded to me and I replied back with a quick cover letter and my resume/references. One of my references works for \"Huge People\". Oh and Huge People would probably be double the pay of Small People. \n\nSo I'm looking for some advice... What do I do?\n(I guess the more important question is if \"Huge People\" offers me a Job how do I handle \"Small People\"?)", "summary": "I've taken an offer for a job from one company and a bigger company has now asked me for a phone interview tomorrow. How do I handle the situation? "} {"id": "t3_1gx7uz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[25/m] Quick advice - Messaging a girl I haven't officially introduced myself too.. weird?", "post": "Hey all,\n\nso, there's this girl that I see about once a week and we always make eye contact and like theres definitely something there. It sucks because every time I see her, it's never an appropriate time to talk to her and i don't want to interrupt her. i've seen her out at a local bar once but i had to babysit some drunk friends and never was able to approach her.\n\nwell anyway, i was thinking about sending her a message on the FBook and just asking if she casually wanted to go out and get a drink. upon further investigation, it seems like she comes up to my town in the summers and doesn't have many friends around, so i thought it'd be nice just to bring her out around town and get out of the house. she has a few mutual friends of mine on their, but i'm just not sure if sending a message is creepy or not that big a deal.\n\ni'm pretty confident she would be up for it, but i'm just not sure if sending a message out of the blue like that, randomly - and i mean randomly - would be like a weird or 'stalker' type thing or if i should just wait to see her again and hope there is a time i can say hi. it's never certain that i'll run into her, it just happens randomly. i've run into her about 10 times in the past month and a half, but only the past few times have i found out she's single and stuff and would like to pursue her. as you can tell i'm pretty nervous and anxious. \n\nthanks all.", "summary": "i see this girl every now and again, have never introduced myself, i'd like to send her a message but we're not 'friends' on the book, not sure if creepy or not a big deal."} {"id": "t3_40vf08", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (33M) love my (31F) girlfriend of 2 years+ and she is my best friend but am no longer attracted to her. Do I end it?", "post": "Our strength has never really been our physical/sexual chemistry, but I've always thought of that part of relationships as being the least important, and what we have had has been passable. However, lately the physical/sexual side of things has decreased even further, and it now feels more and more like a companionship kind of relationship more than romantic.\n\nOther aspects of the relationship (intellectual, emotional chemistry, etc.) all continue to be the highest I've ever experienced. But I'm coming to the conclusion now that the physical/sexual is still a necessary prerequisite for any relationship, so it seems inevitable to me that we will break up.\n\nSince realizing this I have been feeling incredibly guilty. She remains my closest friend and my favorite person in the world, so I desperately don't want to hurt her, but now that I've become more certain that we won't make it long term, I feel like I need to end it asap to avoid wasting her time, since neither of us are getting any younger.", "summary": "When the physical/sexual side of a relationship dies, is it time to end it even when other aspects of the relationship are solid?"} {"id": "t3_2v6hrd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25M] thinking about ending a seemingly non-problematic relationship with [26F] gf of 2 years", "post": "Here's my story:\n\nAbout two years ago my ex girlfriend of many years broke up with me due to LDR. Naturally I was quite devastated and had this massive hole in me which needed to be filled badly. This is where my current gf comes in. We started seeing eachother a few month after my break up and things started progressing. At this point I wasn't sure if I wanted that but she was somewhat pushy and I accepted it thinking that I'd give it a change and see what happens. Fast forwards 2 years - I don't feel anything special about her. We don't fight, everything is normal and I enjoy her company most of the time, but she might as well be my sister. Furthermore, we live together which means that I have very little personal space and I'm feeling like strangled. \n\nThat's why I've been thinking of enidng it for a few months now but I can't gather the courage. What bugs me is the fact that everything is normal between us and when I decide to break up with her it will be like a shock... one day we go outside, meet friend, etc and the other \"hey we're breaking up\". I just seems weird to me.\n\nI don't know if I'm looking for an advice. Maybe I just wanted to put my thoughts into writing. Thanks for reading.", "summary": "Thinking of breaking up with gf because I feel nothing for her, but don't know how to bring the topic up."} {"id": "t3_2evfl7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] crushing on my friend [25 F] who is already in a relationship", "post": "Basically, I have a friend that I'm crushing on pretty hard. I think part of the reason that I like her so much is that I haven't had any real connections with any female friends for a long time. This is the first crush I've had in like 6 years.\n\nThere is zero chance of us ever working out especially since she has a BF. I know it doesn't mean shit when a girl flirts with you if she has a BF but try telling my emotions that.\n\nWe connect on so many things its kind of unreal. As far as I can tell, shes perfect in all the important ways. Everyone has flaws but I haven't come across any of my dealbreakers yet so it's making getting over her pretty hard. I'm probably idolizing her. No one is perfect.\n\nAnyways, we're good friends. I want to get over her so that I just think of her as a friend but it's been really difficult. I (regrettably) tried demonizing her and it just strained the friendship. Maybe I just need to distance myself? Stop hanging out with her as much? Is it possible that I'm filling in the gaps of her romantic relationship since she has told me it's kind of rough at the moment?\n\nHow blurry is the line between close male friend and boyfriend? If I think about it from his perspective (her BF), and if he knew how much we talked, he'd probably be a little uncomfortable with it. If it feels wrong then it probably is, right? I don't want to feel this way. I want to get the fuck over it. My heart shouldn't jump when she texts me and hearing her voice shouldn't put me in an inexplicably good mood. She's just a friend.\n\nThis is starting to feel like a confession more than anything. Just writing it out has helped me kind of organize my thoughts but the irrationality comes in waves. I know the feelings will come back. I'm getting better at managing it but any tips would be greatly appreciated.\n\nBTW, I don't think she knows I like her in this way but sometimes people are more perceptive than they seem.", "summary": "I need to get over my crush to preserve a great friendship. It's unhealthy and unfair to myself to dwell on her. How do I fix this?"} {"id": "t3_4u0x8w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16M] don't know how to get my parents [40sM/F] to take me to a doctor to get a mental illness diagnosed.", "post": "Throwaway because my main is really easy to link with myself.\n\nSo for quite a few years now, I've been feeling what would probably be diagnosed as depression (...and maybe some other stuff at this point. I have no clue anymore.) I don't remember when it started, but all I know now is that very few things actually make me happy anymore.\n\nSo before high school started, I wanted to get this figured out. When I had alone time with my mom, I tried to tell her. However, she responded with, \"Oh, you're too smart to have a mental illness.\" (Paraphrasing a REALLY long response, but that was the main point of it.) I didn't really know how to respond or what to say, so I just kind of dropped it for a while.\n\nLater, I brought it up again with both of my parents. This time, the response was, \"You have all these amazing things going for you! What do you have to be sad about?\" I, again, didn't know what to say to that, nor did I want to really deal with the discussion. So I just went to bed.\n\nThis happened a few more times, but each time the responses have been the same. I really don't know what to do from here and it's honestly making me really worried.", "summary": "I've felt what seems like depression for a long time but every time I try to bring it up I get told that it's not really a big deal. I don't know where to go from here"} {"id": "t3_3ika46", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Family[M50/F48/M13] and I[25M] with my Brother[25 M], Since dropping out of High School[3 Years] has refused to earn his keep and it is starting to weigh us down.", "post": "I have a brother who I'll call Weaver.\n\nWeaver does not work. If he gets work he doesn't keep it. He does nothing productive, despite being prompted and told to.\n\nWeaver is currently out of state. He was sent on work to help my Uncle on his business. He is not doing his work and is now in risk of getting kicked out.\n\nThe problems stated before happened again in the different household. There was a problem with discipline in our household. Mainly stemming from the fact that there were no consequences dealt by any authority figure.\n\nHe is 19 Years old. We as a family can't continue to support him. We can't have him back the way he currently is. He is a negative influence to my baby brother (13) and is a crushing weight on both my(25) and parents (48) financials and sanity.\n\nWhen confronted by one person, he denies wrongdoing. When confronted by multiple people he deflects and focuses on one person, claiming that the person singled out has a grudge against him personally.\n\nThe way I see the situation is that the only thing we have to get him in gear is the threat of kicking him out.\nAnd that is one threat I know we can't deliver on. I am lost and don't know how to proceed with the situation.", "summary": "Weaver is currently a drain on our resources and has no education. Weaver does not respect rules and boundaries we lay out for him. Our family can't continue to support him like this for much longer (lower middle class... if that)"} {"id": "t3_1n7mih", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (23M) with my (23F) girlfriend, been together 2 years, unsure if I should break up after finding out new information", "post": "Hi everybody, sorry for the wall of text\n\nA few months ago I moved away from my girlfriend to go to grad school in a different state. In the spring, we were fighting a lot and decided to take a short break at the end of the semester. The break ended when we decided to be in an open relationship. She wasn't very interested in a strict LDR, and it seemed to work out over the summer, though she told me about a couple people she hooked up with.\n\nHowever recently I learned from friends that before the break she almost slept with multiple people, and then during the break had sex with one of those almost-hookups (the night we agreed on the open-relationship).\n\nAfter confronting her, she confirmed. Obviously I was really angry and hurt, and we've been fighting a lot in the last few days, but now I'm very unsure of what to do. I can understand that she didn't want to tell me when it seemed like things were getting better, and right now I'm more scared that I'm going to lose her than I am about anything else.\n\nI think a big issue is that she regards sex as less important than emotional intimacy. I'm fairly inexperienced and can be much more uptight about this kinda stuff. I honestly believe (and her friends agree) that she cares for me and that's why she was so terrified about telling me herself. \n\nI've told myself that we were on a break when she did sleep with someone else and it technically wasn't cheating. I'm trying to get over my hurt feelings, but what should I do?", "summary": "Found out girlfriend wanted to sleep with others, then did it when we were on a break; not sure if we should stay together now"} {"id": "t3_1jfgnu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17M] and my really good friend [17F]. I genuinely like, but don't know how to proceed telling her.", "post": "I'll start off by saying that I don't usually use subreddits like this, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes. Now this all started at the beginning of the school last year when I had a foreign language class with her(I have friends on reddit, so I apologize for vagueness). People find me fairly humorous so she immediately enjoyed my humor, which at the time I didn't see as anything strange. Throughout the semester we became pretty good friends, but I didn't feel anything special. Then the sports began again, which lead to use hanging out for extended hours due to the sport, and I gradually started liking her more than just a friend.\n\n Now, as you can probably guess, I'm not the jock, social butterfly that would have no problem asking this girl out. I'm the token friend of the cool people, but not actually being cool myself. So I just let it be for a while, but I knew I had to do something soon, because she was going off to college soon. Unfortunately I waited too long and she ended up getting back together with her old boyfriend, who was already in college. I was pretty bummed about this, but at the end of the season we became even closer friends. The past couple months she seemed incredibly flirtatious with me.\n\n We had texted constantly and had accompanied each other to a few parties, but just as friends. She is initiating conversations with me often, and she favorites almost most of my tweets. \n\nNow I don't know if I am overthinking this, but I think its time to tell her how I feel, but I don't know how to go about it considering her boyfriend(who she doesn't mention at all around me). I just need to know if she actually likes me too, or if I am just overthinking our friendship, thanks reddit, and once again I apologize for any mistakes, or holes in the story.", "summary": "Not so popular guy befriends popular girl. Girl has a boyfriend but seems to flirt, and initiate conversations, and wants to hang out with guy."} {"id": "t3_22zj13", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my SO[25M] have been dating 9 months, he has really low self esteem and constantly wants validation from other women.", "post": "I caught him using tinder because I suck and for some reason I thought it would be okay to look through his phone. He claims he wasn't messaging anyone. He just wants to know if he is still attractive to other women. I'm worried this will forever be a problem in our relationship. I don't even know if this is a bullshit excuse. He is seeing a therapist about a lot of his issues involving social anxiety. He is constantly worried about his level of attractiveness.\n\nHe promises he would never do it again. I'm worried he might be just planning to cheat on me. Do I have the right to ask him if he deleted his account or has activated any other accounts?\n\nIs this going to lead to cheating? Should I leave now? \n\nWhy is my validation not good enough?", "summary": "Boyfriend used tinder to seek validation of how he looks. WTF. Is this even okay? Am I allowed to ask him again if he's deleted his account?"} {"id": "t3_2nxjlv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not possessing true wheelchair skills", "post": "To fully understand the story you must know that i am bound to an electric wheelchair.\nIt was a normal day at school, nothing out of the ordinary. Until a teacher came into the class room and told us that we could leave early today (10 am). Now i had a problem because this happened before i got my drivers license. And the way i normally transported myself back and forth was with a taxi. Normally the taxi wouldn't show up till 2.30 pm, so i tried to get the taxi to show up sooner so i didn't have to wait, but i was told that wasn't possible.\nAnd this is where everything went wrong. I went into rage mode, and told myself that just because the teachers couldn't plan their schedule in advance i shouldn't be stuck at school. So i had the brilliant idea of driving all the way home by myself. In my wheelchair. Out on the road. First of all it was pretty scary driving on a road where people were only inches away from hitting me multiple times, but the worst thing happened when i was half-way home. The chair gave out... I remembered, stupid as i was, that i had forgotten to charge the battery on my chair. I just made it past the road sign and was stranded at the sidewalk. So i sat there for an hour, normally that wouldn't be a problem but i also forgot to mention that i didn't bring any warm clothes and it was in the middle of the winter. And to top it all of when sitting there in misery, hating myself for being stupid, one of my friends drove past me in his car waving and smiling like an idiot, because he couldn't see that i was stranded and he just drove on. But my luck finally changed for just a short period of time. I managed to convince someone to come pick me up and drive me home.\nNow it would probably seem like this was all over, but because life happened to wanna teach me a lesson i also had to be sick for a week", "summary": "Forgot to recharge my wheelchair, thought i could drive home from school. Got stranded in the middle of nowhere, which resulted in my being sad and sick for a week."} {"id": "t3_152z9t", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I don't think I'm cut out for this", "post": "I just looked at my grades for my first semester of college, and they're just downright awful, I won't give any specifics but my GPA is not good. It's not because I'm not smart, I'm just so fucking lazy and i hate that about me. I know I should just suck it up and be mature about it but Its killing me. I told my parents what happened right away and I could feel their disappointment in the air. And it makes me feel terrible. \n\nNot only that, all of first semester has been complete shit. I made a fool of myself so many times that I don't hang out with anyone anymore. In other words I have no close friends. And even worse, I'm starting to feel like a stranger around my high school friends. \n\nAnd worst of all, I don't feel like I have any purpose in life, I don't know if I'm going in the right direction and can't bear to think of the future. I'm stuck in a hole and want to get out of it, I don't want to be lazy anymore, I don't want to spend my weekends alone anymore, and I want to feel like I have a purpose in this world.", "summary": "I'm a lazy fuck, socially awkward, feel as if I have no purpose, and I'm sick of it. I just needed to say it somehow..."} {"id": "t3_czh3x", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is something you did that you felt horrible about at the time, but now look back and laugh about?", "post": "In third grade, i hung out with some troublemaking neighbour boys down the street. One day boy1 decides to steal some gasoline from daddy's garage. Being young boys, we were immediately excited at the prospect of lighting random shit on fire. So we go through the park and under the railroad bridge and use up all the gas lighting up leaves, small bushes, garbage, even the wooden support beams (looking back, that was none too bright). We proceed to make a mini camping fire when out of nowhere we here\n\nWHAT DO YOU BOYS THINK YOU'RE DOING?\n\nIn a deep manly voice. Turn around faster than greased lightning to see 2 police officers standing there. Scared the living shit out of 3rd grade me. Took our info and gave us a stern warning and threatened to call our parents. I couldn't sleep for 2 days but never did tell my parents.", "summary": "Got caught by the police in 3rd grade lighting fires under a wooden railroad bridge. Scared the crap out of me but nowadays always brings a laugh."} {"id": "t3_1sdeuk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[27 M] with my exgirlfriend [26 F] having trouble continuing as friends", "post": "My ex girlfriend of 6 month broke up about a month ago. In the 3rd month of our relationship we moved together have continued this even after the breakup.\n\nToday we had a big argument over some lying that I had done to keep from creating tension among other things.\n\nI had went out last night with another girl because she was offering sex. That did not make my ex happy. She was not opposed to me meeting other girls and pursuing a new relationship she was upset that I was so willing to just at the first thing that came up.\n\nThe girl whom I met didn't connect with me at all and I ended it after a few kisses. I get home and we talk about what went on and to make sure I don't go after someone that would make a horrible match for me she decides that we would have a no strings attached relationship for this day only.\n\nI felt that I did love her and possibly still do, but as the day moved forward we both found out things that happened before and after our relationship had ended. \n\nTo make this clear she had tried to break things off with me 3 times before we decided to just be friends with occasional benefits as to not bring someone else home to make thing awkward. \n\nTonight I came clean that I had sent myself some of her naughty pictures that were on her phone. I feel horrible for having broken her trust yet also by taking those pictures and not asking. \n\nThey were for personal viewing only, yet I broke her trust by taking them. She is very upset and not sure if we can still even be friends. Is there any possible way to mend this or should I just try to move on and see what's in store", "summary": "Girlfriend and I broke up continued living together she found o had take her naughty pictures and now doesn't believe she can trust me enough to be friends."} {"id": "t3_1c3ydy", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[19M]Taking my friend[19F] to the Military Ball", "post": "So the story is I have been friends with this girl for a while now and I've liked her for a while. The stars never really aligned to where we were both single at the same time until now so I asked her to the mil ball and she said yes. I know that she at least used to be interested in me and while hanging out the other day I was teasing her about something and ended with saying \"I'm just kidding, you know I love you\" and she replied, \"that remains to be seen\" which I didn't really pick up on at the time but I guess that means she's waiting for me to show her i like her. \n\nAnyway, back to the mil ball. I've recently started wondering if she knows I meant as a date and not just as friends. I was pretty forward about inviting her. I said something along the lines of, \"Are you busy on the 26th?\" and \"Do you want to go to the military ball with me?\". Most of my friends agree that it is pretty strongly implied that it's a date but what do you guys think? Also, would you say she's still interested, just based on her response to me teasing her. (Not the only time she's shown interest, just most blatant)", "summary": ") I asked my friend to military ball, does she know I meant it to be a date? I'm not friend zoned, we're a little flirty when we hang out and she has shown interest before."} {"id": "t3_1p0hen", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "In a relationship for 3 months, my girlfriend is already talking about apartment, marriage, and kids. I could use some advice please.", "post": "I am a [27/m] in my senior year of college. I have been single for the past 5 years due to bad luck, too busy with school, and not wanting a relationship. I met my girlfriend [26/f] through my previous job. She is a single mother with a 3 year old. \n\nI care for her a lot. I have had serious relationships, and just playful ones, but this has been the best relationship I have ever had. She has said she loves me on numerous occasions and i don't doubt her truthfulness. I am starting to fall in love with her. Recently she has started talking about getting a place together, and getting married, and is really wanting children. I am all for the idea of having an apartment, but she wants to rush the marriage and kids bit. I have my hesitations because it has been so long since i have been committed to someone. I do want these things with her, but not yet. I will be ready for it, but not now.\n\nMy question is this. How do i talk to her and tell her I don't want kids right now? Is this cause for alarm? I don't want to get her upset, and I don't want this relationship to be over.", "summary": "In love with girl that wants kids and marriage, not quite ready, but want to be. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_njifj", "subreddit": "self", "title": "I want to have kids someday only because...", "post": "I want to prove that I can raise one better than they did. My whole life I was told I'm a piece of shit by them, I've never had good friends because they told me that only family will care for you (part of why I'll be forever alone). Nothing I do will be good enough for them and because of that mentality, I will never be happy in anything I do. \n\nThey are religious freaks (why I'm scared to say to them I'm atheist now) that think everyone that isn't catholic is wrong. They are super racist, and when they see a person of different color they'll call them by racial slurs, they mainly speak Polish so no one notices.\n\ntheir close minded thinking is driving me insane. I'm glad I somehow came to thinking on my own and figured what's right and wrong. \n\nThis is just my rant that i wanted to say somewhere and I could go on forever but I won't.", "summary": "My parents are assholes and I'm completely opposite and I want to prove I'm better by having a kid and raising them better."} {"id": "t3_2czd7j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my [25F] GF. Don't think I did anything wrong but I still feel guilty.", "post": "I'm currently in a 2.5 year long relationship with the love of my life and I couldn't be happier. I went out for drinks with my brother last night and the night basically consisted of me drinking and watching him hit on women with no success which I found hilarious. Throughout the night we had this super nice waitress hooking us up with free food which was awesome. At last call, as we stumbled out of the bar, my brother said we had forgot to tip her so he gave me a 20 and I ran back inside, gave her the tip, and said \"You're super cute, have a great night!\" and ran back outside to get a cab. That's it. No flirting happened over the course of the night, no touching, no numbers were recieved but I still feel really guilty, I guess for saying that she was cute! I feel like a big idiot for blowing this up in my head.", "summary": "In relationship, told waitress she was cute while giving her a tip and now I feel like a dick, should I really feel that guilty?"} {"id": "t3_b4hu3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "We Will Beat the Top 5 Games In This Thread (without sleeping)", "post": "This event will be recorded by my laptop webcam on time lapse. There will be some rules/suggestions because I don't want to end up playing some unbeatable flash game for a month. When I say \"we\" I mean myself and the lovely BeautyOfAnnihilation (another Redditor).\nFirst what we have available:\n\n* Wii and Virtual Console (enabling certain NES, SNES, and SEGA games)\n* Nintendo 64\n* Playstation 2\n* Xbox 360 (two of em actually)\n* Two TVs\n\nSecond what rules we impose:\n\n* No flash/PC games\n* No games without a clear climax\n* We chose the difficulty\n\nPlease suggest and vote!", "summary": "Suggest non PC games and upvote the ones you would want to play in a sleepless gaming spree. Also we are looking for a timelapse program to record it on."} {"id": "t3_30b5t3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] with my girlfriend [19 F] 2 years high school and a year in college with a short break in between, lack of trust and communication", "post": "We dated junior and senior year of high school and through the summer before I started college before taking a short break. During this break she began dating my best friend. I was devasted and the friendship was lost. After a month she realized her mistake and broke that off and we began talking again.\n\nSince then we have been a fling for the last year and some change. We have never made it official because she said she didn't want that commitment yet. I planned on dealing with this because I love her. Recently her communication has been less than stellar. I began worrying and decided to investigate.\n\nI created a fake Twitter account and was able to DM her asking about a date hoping to get a no right away. After not replying for a few hours she began asking questions trying to get to know the fake person. I asked if she was with any guys and she said she had just broken something off. She also said she wanted to take it slow. At this point I'm distraught and decide to go see her. She acts like everything is ok until I confront her about the messages. \n\nShe inmediately gets pissed and starts saying she can't believe I catfished her and that I was crazy for doing so. I asked her to see it from my point of view but she refused to finish the conversation. She said she was just playing along to see if it was real and was about to say no when I went to talk to her. I just don't know what to think or do.", "summary": "messaged girlfriend with fake Twitter account. She talked to the fake guy and said she had broken it off with some Guy recently. I approached her and there was a fight."} {"id": "t3_1l30iv", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Enjoy your monopoly money...", "post": "I worked in a well known pet store chain in the UK, I used to work mainly on weekends, and with this comes the general douchbaggery that has to be dealt with on a bi-hourly basis. I recall one woman attempting to buy a fish tank at the same time as buying fish (far to many for the tank) without having the tank set up for the necessary amount of time to allow the water to stabilise. So I refuse her a sale of live fish. Unfortunately she then decides to treat me like crap generally swearing at me and I end up bringing my manager to explain that I had followed procedure and there was a good reason for me refusing the fish. \nSurprisingly she still buys the tank, and brings it to the till where I am since I have switched sections after talking to her. The customer before her paid with a Scottish \u00a310 note, which is legal tender throughout the UK, but many retailers (specifically smaller ones) do not like to accept for fears of counterfeits and problems at the bank. The woman who buys the tank then pays with two \u00a350 notes (the tank happened to be around \u00a385 if I remember correctly. Because we dont often recieve \u00a350's I ring the bell for a manager to come and check the notes, its a busy day so it takes a few mins for him to get there, all the while she is huffing and puffing and smoking her electronic cig in front of my giving me the death eye. He comes over checks the notes and all is well (as I already knew) I think put the tank through give her the \u00a310 note underneath the receipt with the change on top, she shoves it in her pocket and as she goes through the door realises its different, and walks off anyway. Enjoy your monopoly money.", "summary": "Woman comes to store, is an arse about buying a fish tank so I give her scottish money back as change."} {"id": "t3_1jjelh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[21M] with my girlfriend [23F] and I'm having doubts", "post": "So... I have been dating this girl for about a year. I'm currently in a long distance relationship, and I saw her for a weekend.\n\nSometimes I get the feeling that I'm settling with her. Isn't that bad? Shouldn't good relationships be where each partner thinks the other is settling? I kinda feel I'm settling because she is lazy, always tired, letting herself go (eating a lot, not exercising), and, I sometimes feel she doesn't like me back the way I do. And I dislike that... Though don't get me wrong, we do have beautiful and lovely times, but I sometimes get the vibe that she likes more the way I make her feel instead of liking me and my personality...\n\nRecently, I have started talking more to a new friend, who is beautiful. So hard working. So nice. Makes a lot of witty jokes, and overal a better match for me. I feel VERY conflicted. Every time I talk to her, I feel this perfect chemistry, and I feel like I would love being with a person like her 100 times. But then again, I go back to thinking about my current girlfriend, and I sometimes get this \"hope\" that things will get better with her in the future, and I feel like if I break up, I will lose a really good friend... I don't know... I feel terrible breaking up with her... This would be the first person I break up with. I'm not even sure if I want to break up with her. Because when I'm with her, I love being with her, but since we're in a long distance relationship, it's very hard... I kind of lose my feelings for her... don't think that's normal.", "summary": "Long distance relationship with girlfriend. Having doubts about her liking me, and I think I'm settling for her. Have a crush on another girl. Not sure what to do.... could somebody provide their perspective on what I'm experiencing?"} {"id": "t3_4rzx1s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my girlfriend [18F] 3months, gf has history of cheating without bf ever knowing, should I be worried?", "post": "Hey guys,\n\nMy girlfriend and i have been going out for 3 months (my first and her 6th or so) and she has told me that she has cheated on 3-4 of her past boyfriends without them ever knowing.\n\nShe has said that she is \"all in\" with this relationship, where-as she wasn't before. We are both looking for a long term relationship.\n\nShe was originally worried that I would keep her past relationships against her, even subconsciously, which I promised I wouldn't.\n\nShe has also told me she's very good at lying and manipulating, which she said she would never use against me.\n\nThe fact that the majority of her previous boyfriends never knowing about her cheating on them makes me kinda worried, as I could be just another of those guys to never find out and think we break up for another reason.\n\nI don't really want to bring it up with her as she would view it as me not trusting her and doubting her faithfulness. Not to mention going against my promise.\n\nI really love and trust her and I really want this to work out but I can't get the thought out of my head that I could become another one of those guys.\n\nAny ideas or thoughts?\n\nThanks alot :)", "summary": "Gf has history of cheating on current bf without them knowing, I'm worried I could become like another of those guys."} {"id": "t3_1jsfos", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[20/M] have started seeing this Girl[20/F] and are my emotions wrong?", "post": "A little history about me. I used to be quite shy and bad with girls. I only within the last 8 months have changed myself and become better with women. I got my first girlfriend and had it last 2 months and Dated a few others as well.\n\nNow I have started to see this new girl recently(Three weeks) and I am not sure how to feel about things. I am not looking for a serious relationship and neither is she which is what I wanted. But because I didn't get my first relationship until this year I don't think I have the emotional experience to know how to feel about things between us. \n\nI am not sure what to do. She says we aren't dating and that is partly because when she ends up dating someone she ends up liking someone else and messing up the relationship. That's fine cause its not like I am looking for someone to settle down with. Even though she says that we aren't we still see each other enough and do stuff that would pretty much make us Dating.\n\nWhat bothers me is that I don't know what I am allowed to feel knowing that this isn't supposed to be serious. Am I allowed to *like* her? How much can I like her? Is it okay if I get jealous sometimes? If I want to do something romantic is it out of line? I am sure I have other questions but I can't think of them. What do I do?", "summary": "I'm in a not Serious relationship and I lack the emotional experience to know how to feel about her and react to those feelings"} {"id": "t3_4iswix", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] with my now GF [22F] of a few months: I don't like her friend 22M", "post": "While my now GF and I were talking/getting to know each other, she had a friend who she spent some time with and obviously liked her. She denied that he did and continued to hang out with him. Then one night she got drunk at a party and they made out. I then find out that she and him had some history before of trying to make things work and that all of her friends had been trying to set them up.\n\nNow we are dating and she will hang out with him in groups without mentioning that he is coming along or anything. I know this girl really loves me (she loves me better than anyone ever has), and she really does want a future with me. I have mentioned that I don't like her hanging out with him and she says that she talked to him and told him that nothing would ever become between them but I know he still has hope.", "summary": "my now GF made out with a guy before we were dating (but were in courting/still committed phase) and is still really good friends with him even though it bothers me."} {"id": "t3_zmvbe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (16) wants to join the army and I (f:16) don't know what to do.", "post": "My boyfriend really wants to join the army and I don't really know what to do :/ I don't want to say don't go because it's his dream and I wouldn't want to say \"stay for me\" especially if we ended up breaking up but I don't think he's taking into consideration how his leaving for the army would effect the people around him like me and his family and I don't think he realizes how dangerous it's going to be and I've already told him how I feel but he wont really listen to me :/ What should I do? How should I handle it? :/ We've only really been dating for 2 weeks but it's a complicated thing... if anyone has ever been on SALTS then they might understand what kind of relationship we have.", "summary": "My boyfriend wants to join the army but there's no way to tell him I don't want him to go without saying no to his dream."} {"id": "t3_1p5xhi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17M] am not sure what to do about my crush [16]", "post": "I guess I'll start off by saying that I am a senior in high school and the girl I have a crush on is a junior. We are both on Student Council and I have known her for about two years. I would say that we know each other pretty well although we don't hang out outside of school. We work very closely as we both are on the Executive Board for my schools student council.\n\nLast year I had figured out she had a crush on me and I had one on her as well. I was much less outgoing and confident than I am now so I never got around to asking her out. She has a boyfriend now and it seems like I missed my shot to date her.\n\nI've never really felt this way about a girl before. I've had crushes on girls before but this time its so different. She is beautiful, smart, hardworking, and the sweetest girl I have ever met. She goes out of her way to help people and expects nothing in return. She is so kind and every time we lock eyes I just can't help but smile. I'm not sure if I should wait and see how her relationship goes or if I should say something. She seems happy with this guy and I'm very happy for her. I just wish I was the one that could treat her how I KNOW she should be treated.\n\nWhat should I do? Should I wait or tell her? Should I try and forget about her and move on? Please help :(", "summary": "I have a crush on a girl that at one time liked me but I have since missed my chance because she has a boyfriend. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1buzw9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Please help...", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. I know she loves me but I feel like she gets scared of being with me because I have my life together as far as my career goes and she doesn't because she's a waitress. Anyway, we've had our issues in the past because she's a christian and I dont really belong to or claim any type of religion. We broke up for about a week because of this and during that time she had a one night stand with a guy that she doesn't know and now she's pregnant (she claims to be have been so black out drunk that she doesn't remember any thing). She doesn't know if the baby is mine or the stranger's but she plans on having an abortion either way. She doesn't have anyone to talk to about the problem except me so i obliged to be by her side through the whole procedure... After I said that, she asked me if I wanted to marry her because no other guy would ever stay by anyones side after something like this and she says she could spend the rest of her life with me if I could just forgive her. I'm so confused and heart broken, I really don't know what to do. I love this girl very much but I have many reasons to think that she doesn't feel the same as I do for her.", "summary": "My girlfriend may or may not be pregnant for a complete stranger and doesn't remember having sex with him. Should I stay or should I go?"} {"id": "t3_1tl9lj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "There's a girl [19] who made it known to my Jewish self [23] that she has nothing up on Christmas day, what are some good ways to approach this?", "post": "My downfall is overanalyzing everything I think, do and say. There's this girl I like and she likes me. It sounds so simple right? GET TOGETHER WITH HER.\n\nI want to badly because I think it has potential to go somewhere with her, and I don't get that feeling often with most girls. She's really cute, has a good sense of humor and I get along with her well.\n\nI just started texting her the other day, and I asked if she had any extravagant Christmas plans and she said she didn't since she \"doesn't have any friends or a boy\".\n\nNow as a Jew, my Christmas tradition is Chinese food and a movie with my family since there's nothing else for me to do, plus Santa hates my kind.\n\nI want to spend some time with this girl and know I should, but would love some input on the best way to go about handling this matter. (BTW I live with my family, and she works with my mother)\n\nThank you much to all, and Merry Christmas and happy holidays!", "summary": "I like a girl, she likes me. And I'd love to get some advice on how to approach this matter since I get nervous to when it comes to making moves."} {"id": "t3_43odf3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (21/F) with my boyfriend (21/M), changing birth control methods, but nervous about how it could change our relationship.", "post": "Hello all, could use an outside perspective on this. Using a throwaway account.\n\nI have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. I haven't been on birth control pills for the whole time, but I started about a year into our relationship. I've been thinking about switching to non hormonal birth control for some time now, as I really don't like the side effects of the pill, but unfortunately I won't be able to see my doctor for a few months for insurance reasons. So, I want to just stop my pills after this pack is up, or about 2 weeks from now, and only use condoms. \n\nMy boyfriend and I have talked about this and he is completely on board. He is so supportive and telling me this is my decision, but he appreciates me taking his opinion into account. We haven't been using condoms since I started the pill 2 years ago.\n\nNow here comes the issue. We are both still in school, and nowhere ready to be parents. I want to use condoms religiously and even have him pull out with the condom on. I am terrified that this change may make him resent our sex life. It has always been so relaxed while I've been on the pill, and I'm scared that this change may be a big difference compared to what it was. \n\nHas anybody gone through a similar experience? How was the transition?", "summary": "I'm planning on switching from BC pills to condoms, but afraid the change may affect my sex life with my boyfriend. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_4azmk5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29 F] have been with my boyfriend [29 M] for four years , I recently found a message from a girl from his past on Facebook that worried me. Is this cheating?", "post": "I recently discovered a message from an ex flame that my boyfriend had years ago . This girl , let's call her Rachel sent a message to my boyfriend saying that she would like to be friends with him , as long as her fianc\u00e9 or his girlfriend (me) don't find out . He then responded with ok , don't text me in 3 days because I'm going on vacation , I will text you when I get back. That was it , but it seemed very secretive to me why he would hide something like that from me . I understand having friends with the opposite sex , but why hide it ? I confronted him about it , he said he was going to tell her that he didn't feel confortable being her friend ,but why didn't he tell her sooner ? I also saw some phone calls between them and some messages back from January. He sent her a message saying not to contact him anymore and that he loves me and doesn't want any problems and blocked her from FB ,but only after I told him to..is this cheating ? I feel hurt and betrayed and dont know if i can trust him after this. Did I nip it in the bud before it may have gotten worse?", "summary": "I found a message from an ex to my boyfriend, it was very secretive and now I don't know if I can trust him."} {"id": "t3_10fvwr", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I believe in an abstract God and Girlfriend can't be with me because I disagree with her God. Need some advice for these feels please", "post": "I am a philosophy graduate, read a lot, have done my research, and have come to my own personal conclusions. Me and my girlfriend had a talk tonight where I basically told her what I believed in God... and it is not like her God.... Point where we specifically disagreed is where she believes that if you believe and trust in God he will help you... something like that. Long story short I support her beliefs as we have been together for more than a year and have said the \"i love you\" to each other. She... on the other hand got mad at me various times and twice said \"If you really believe that I can't be with you\". I told her that I have come to my conclusions through research and hard thought.... and am sorry if she disagrees...... I am mega bummed. I can't stand the thought of being with someone who will not be with me for my being critical of my beliefs. What should I do? I think I should break up with her.... I didn't expect hearing this from someone I love... let alone someone who loves me.... I especially felt that considering the fact that I DO believe in a God... just not hers...... Help me everyone! What should I do? She left the house when I told her to and now I'm mega sad.", "summary": "GF told me she can't be with me because I don't believe in her God and now IDK what to do!"} {"id": "t3_29dd8k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [m.22] depressed and my gf [f.21] makes it worst. I hate the discomfort she makes me feel and it won't stop.", "post": "There's just so much to say, I'm not sure how to phrase it all so that it works..\n\nEarlier this year, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I'm working on getting myself better but my gf is always in the way, she never lets me get shit done, and then she would make me feel like shit for giving something else attention other than her.\n\nIf she asks to hang out, I'm obligated to go or else she'd start throwing a fit. I like my alone time, I have hobbies, interests and am working on getting my business off the ground by the end of July. However she's always holding me down. Everytime we hang out, it's never for a few hours, it's literally all fucking day, from noon to 2am. I'm not allowed to do shit while I'm around with her.\n\nI hate it. I like my time, I have hobbies, interests and projects I'd like to finish. All she has is work. The only chance I get to have my own time is when I do it while she's working, sleeping, or if I just straight up disconnect myself from the internet/phone.\n\nIf I had plans before she even asks to do somethign, she still throws a fit. I'm not allowed to have any other social plans unless they involve her. She starts saying how \"Oh you make time for that but not me\" and it literally makes me want to just punch myself in the face. It's come to the point where I just feel guilty about anything, studying, working, spending time with family, because she's just always making it seem like I'm a dick for not spending that time with her.\n\nI really want to beat my depression and anxiety, but it's hard when she's always getting in the way when I'm trying to be organized and keeping myself occupied with personal goals. \n\nShe knows of my problems, but it really doesn't make a difference. She gave me shit when I first went to a therapist because I was in a room alone with her. \nThis is my first relationship too. Is this type of behavior normal?", "summary": "I'm miserable. I'm in a relationship where I can't get shit done without thinking I'm an ass, because that's what my gf does."} {"id": "t3_2sey07", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My GF (21F) doesn't seem to respect me (22M)", "post": "For some context.\n\nI have been with my GF for 7 months soon.\nI'm her first ever boyfriend and first guy she's even dated.\nShe has told me she loves me and I've told her the same, and I truly thought we both meant it.\nIn the past 3 - 4 weeks we have been constantly fighting, she seems to be attacking me on little things at every turn and no longer making seeing me a priority.\nI understand that she has her own life and that outside of me but recently we have gone from seeing each other 3 - 4 times a week to 1 - 2 and she doesn't seem to be really upset by this.\n\nBoth of us are dealing with things outside the relationship and letting it interfere with how we are around each other a lot as well but I feel like that's nothing new for a lot of couples. \n\nWe have tried talking about it and it just ends in a fight and her shifting the responsibility on to me.\n\nI'm really at a loss as to what to do.", "summary": "girlfriend has begun attacking me a lot and seems to have lost interest. Wet suddenly. Not sure why or what to doZ"} {"id": "t3_2xmlnf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M 23] think I'm falling for someone [F 23] I shouldn't.", "post": "About early January I began dating this girl and i never really thought it was going to go anywhere. But i think I'm falling for her. She's one of the most amazing girls i have ever met in my entire life. She's beautiful, smart, happy, and she makes me feel....i guess. Happy. It's not like a \"I need you in my life happy\" but more of a \"You make me better in so many ways happy, when you smile, my smiles bigger.\"\n\nI've only been seeing this girl for about 2 months. But here's the kicker. She used to be a really good friend of mines ex-gf. Well not really a CLOSE friend. But just a good friend that i know and used to hang out with. \n\nThing is, i don't know if i should break it off with her. I don't want to. But it seems like shes losing friends because of it, and i don't want anything bad to happen to her. Especially if it's because of me. \n\nShe tells me she doesn't care. But I'm sure she does. I just want to see her happy, she deserves it. \n\nWhat should i do guys? I really don't want to not see her anymore. But i don't want her to lose her friends because of me.", "summary": "dating friend's ex-gf. She's losing close friends from ex-bfs side because of me. Don't know if i should end it. I think I'm falling for her."} {"id": "t3_29eu2y", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[27/m], freshly single. I'm lonely, have trouble connecting with most people, and dislike dating.", "post": "So, I'll try to make this brief. \n\nMy girlfriend just moved away; we can't do an LDR. We both have strong feelings for one another, but this is just how it is and I accept it. This is not the first time this has happened to me, so I am experienced in coping with this. \n\nAs for issues connecting with people, I don't know. I am an ivory tower, intellectual type. I'm highly educated, a research psychologist and well-read on many other subjects. Incidentally, the vast majority of my relationships within the last several years have been with, by chance and to my surprise every time, valedictorians. This suggests to me that my most attractive quality is my intelligence, or that I am mostly attracted to girls who are highly intelligent. Likely it works both ways. \n\nPeople also note that I am exceptionally honest, yet hard to get to know. (Not entirely sure how that works?)\n\nProblem: There are only so many highly educated / open-minded girls in my area, and they're not easy to find. Really, it's apparent that my local culture just doesn't value education or intelligence very much. I have nothing against dating girls who are less interested in intellectual issues, per se. That said, my love of exploring ideas is a defining feature of who I am. Thus, I wish to have an SO that is comfortable openly discussing deep, if not controversial ideas. This is difficult since, again, this is not normal in my local culture. (For example, more than once people at the bar have interrupted my private conversations to mock me, referencing Einstein, just because I'm talking about some deep idea that I love. Similarly, girls have literally shot me down by saying, \"we'It's insulting, and reflects a culture wherein people hate ideas. Perhaps I should speak less loudly when drinking, but that's another issue altogether). \n\nI am at university, but still..", "summary": "it seems hard to find girls who have a similar love of ideas and deep conversation as I do. Where should I look? What should I do? "} {"id": "t3_31087f", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by saving a little girl from harm", "post": "This happened a few months ago but regardless.... I was on a field trip with some business classes when we went to the mall to eat in the food court. It was the middle of the day and of course the mall was packed with people. I left my friends at the table while they ate so I could get a hot pretzel. Halfway there, I see a little girl about 3 or so try to spin a type of game spinning wheel. Here's where everything went wrong. It was a tripod type wheel, on a table, and it was at least twice her size. She hit it and it fell towards her. I sprinted over and used myself to block her as I tried to catch it. Needless to say, it fell on the flow with a loud bang and I asked the girl if she was okay as her mother came over from across the way. I fix the wheel before the saleslady came over to do so. That's when I notice that the whole food court stopped and stared. I made eye contact with my teacher and she laughed so loud. She was the only one who saw what happened in full. Everyone else, including my friends, thought I had walked into the table, knocked stuff over and caused a huge commotion.", "summary": "shielded a toddler from what could have been a serious injury, got laughed at by hundreds of people because they thought I made a huge blunder"} {"id": "t3_463t42", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of four months may be apart for a year. I don't know how to start this conversation and what the best option is.", "post": "I am in the running for a prestigious grant that will allow me to study abroad for a year in another country. In the past few months I've met a guy who I've fallen head over heels for. I love him very much and I want to continue our relationship. By the time the grant starts we will have been dating for about 10 months. \n\nI applied for the grant before I met him and he has been supportive about it. I keep ignoring talk about it, however, as I really don't want to leave him. At the same time, the grant is an amazing opportunity and we've both agreed if I get it I do it. Yet we haven't discussed what we will do as a couple if I leave. \n\nI really want to stay together but a year is a long time to be apart. There will be opportunities to see each other during that time, but I am afraid he'll get tired of the distance. \n\nShould I just ask him what he wants to do? Is it unreasonable to expect him to continue seeing me if I take this opportunity?", "summary": "Moving abroad, scared to talk about the relationship. I want to continue it but I'm afraid he'll say he doesn't. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_4x3h3e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend of 6 months (20F) is having a hard time thinking she's not good enough for me (21M) (in reality I'm nothing special, she's the special one)", "post": "Sorry if I'm a little absent minded or write things that make no sense.\n\nBasically, my girlfriend has slept with a lot of men and she regrets it all, we met six months ago and instantly clicked, she was trying to shove me away at the beginning because she thinks she is dirty and used. I told her that I loved her all the same. \n\nRegardless it's been a constant thing in our relationship, always hanging in the air. She just repeats how amazing I am and how lucky she is to have me all the time(I'm completely average, not that good looking not that special I have nothing amazing).\n\nToday she just broke down saying she doesn't find herself \"worthy\" of me and that she feels like she's hurting me and that I deserve better. \n\nNo matter what I tell her she won't change her mind, I managed to convince her to cool down and wait until tommorow but I'm worried since she's very emotional and attached she will disappear from my life.\n\nPlease, help me Reddit. I love her so much.", "summary": "Girlfriend things I'm amazing and things she's not worthy of me when actually she's the amazing one and I'm basically average joe."} {"id": "t3_158tye", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Hooked up with a really good friend and now we don't talk...what do? [18F][18M]", "post": "At college I met this guy who I connected with immediately, we have very similar personalities and interests, there was obvious chemistry and sexual tension. At the time we met I was in a relationship, shortly thereafter BF and I broke up and I was pretty upset. Guy friend who I'll call \"Greg\" took me out with him to a party to try and cheer me up. We ended up dancing and being very 'friendly' while at the party, when we went back to the dorm we continued what had been started at the party and went back to my room and hooked up.\n\nWe had established the next day that we were just friends, but I had feelings for him and emotionally I was a bit confused. We tried to continue the friendship and pretend that everything was normal but he felt that I had become too attached and clingy.\n\nHe has a new love interest in his life, and I'm over my feelings for him but we're still awkward around each other. I make him feel uncomfortable because he interprets my actions differently from how I mean for them to be taken. I want to be friends again like we were, but I don't know how to make it happen. I'm also a bit worried because he invited me up to visit him next week before things got weird and I'm still going but I don't want it to be awkward.", "summary": "Hooked up with a good friend (2.5 months ago, we've been friends for about 4), things got awkward and I'd really like to be friends again but I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_119wu6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[23M] How do I approach/ let a girl know, that frequents my workplace, I'm interested?", "post": "I [23m] work at a private fitness center in the membership department. These two girls come in regularly and we greet each other but nothing much more than that. I'm interested in one of them, but I'm not sure how to go about letting her know that. I have access to all of the members info in our computer system, but I absolutely don't want to use any of that for personal use. It's easily grounds for termination.\n\nI do know her name, but only because I helped her when she signed up for a membership (and again, the access to members personal info). I could try and add her on facebook but I feel like that would come across as someone just being a creeper, plus I don't know if she would even know it was me since she never sees me outside of my work attire. At the same time, I could send a short message along with the friend request perhaps. \n\nAny suggestions on how to approach her would be greatly appreciated!", "summary": "I see a girl a few times a week at the fitness center where I work. We exchange nothing more than the generic hi and goodbye, with the occasional joke thrown in. How do I let her know I'm interested?"} {"id": "t3_mhygz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Who is right here, me or my mother?", "post": "First of, I'm 16 and I live in Norway. The laws and also prices are different here from the US.\n\nOk. So I wanted to get Skyrim for PC, but none of my laptops are good enough to run it. Therefore I decided to get myself a better computer. At the same time, a friend of mine was getting rid of his computer because he was tired playing games like MW3 and wanted to focus more on school. Therefore I bought it for 5000kr and a monitor from somewhere else for approx 2000kr. \n\nUpon finding this out, my mother got really angry, and she has ordered me to return it to him. I didn't talk it over with her (probably should have) because I knew she wouldn't like it because of a previous incident, and perhaps would let it slide when the deal was done. Anyway, she is saying that I legally can't make purchases like this over 2000kr without telling her because she is responsible. She is also mad because I'm not getting a guarantee for buying it used.\n\nEven though I used my money (mostly, but I'll come back to that later) she is saying that I couldn't use them. A lot of the money has come from my work, but some of it has come from me getting some refunds that was intended for her, but she let me have. I thought I could use it for anything, considering that it was on my account. Now for the \"mostly\" part over: I was a little short on cash for the monitor, so 950kr of it was paid for with a card the family is sort of sharing. I'm planning to pay it back at the end of the month. Mom doesn't know yet though.\n\nI know my mom has her own motives for denying me a gaming-PC. She does not like the fact that I play video games, even though my grades are good and I'm not obese. She is also kinda paranoid about getting ripped-off.\n\nI also have a terrible feeling that my friend has already spent the money on an iPhone.", "summary": "I got a cheap PC, mom gets angry and says it's illegal for me to do so. Now she says that I have to give it back."} {"id": "t3_21fnmn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [17 M] a boy in my class has an intense crush on me that's starting to get creepy, how should I deal with the situation?", "post": "I'm a high school senior and we're both in the same grade. He's constantly staring, overdoing it. Always flirts, like one time, he was like \"Oh you got new glasses?\" \"Yeah! Do they look good?\" \"YOU look good.\". He casually confessed \"loving\" me twice. He sits behind me in class. So a weak ago I looked back and he was staring. And when I looked at him, he sang a love song and added my name in the end. And with his spot behind my chair, he started touching. He's put his hands on my hair and neck multiple times. Today he left his spot next his best friend and cramped a third seat between me and the guy sitting next to me. And also today, he looked at me around three times right in the eyes and would sing this intense love sing. One of the three times he actually was singing to my ear, too close my right ear. Even my friends have noticed he has a crush on me. I barely even know him.\nI just need an advice on how to deal with the situation. Here's the thing, I'm living in an extremely homophobic country. And I'm gay myself so I sort of empathize and I don't want to get him in trouble over being gay. But I'm not into him, and he is starting to seriously creep me out.", "summary": "How should I deal with this situation? And how should I approach if I was to talk to him about it and tell him to stop?"} {"id": "t3_2x4hdc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it wrong that I [30 M] feel like I need to make my wife [33 F] of 2yrs jealous?", "post": "My wife is has connected emotionally with another man (also married), much deeper than she has with me. I feel he is a threat even though she tells me he is not, but I can't get over the feeling of wanting her to feel the same things I feel when she tells me how they have talked about divorcing their respective partners and starting a life together. It is clear to me he wants to pursue more than just a friendship with her, but I'm unsure about what she feels. I know she is not as happy as she could be in our marriage, and in fact has told me she was content. I know the power of jealousy is an extremely dangerous emotion, but if I could make her feel like I was wanted by another woman, it would make her see me as more desirable. I'd like to hear what some of the female redditors would think. \n\nAt this point, divorce in not really an option. I'm not looking to have an affair, I'm just looking for a woman who wants my time in the hopes that it will make my wife want to spend more time and emotional energy with me.\n\nThis is also something she has suggested at one point.", "summary": "I feel as though I need to go out and find another woman who is attracted to me and wants to spend time with me in order to make my wife want to be closer to me."} {"id": "t3_3ge92u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20M] have been with my girlfriend [20F] for 2 years, and she wants to open our relationship as of late.", "post": "I've known this girl for the past 6 years, and they've been amazing. We started dating after 4 years.\n\nI love her entirely, and I don't want to see her go.\n\nThis was your ideal relationship up until just a few weeks ago.\nShe told me that she wanted to experience girls, so she might not feel regret later in her life. In addition, she says that if she finds that she is better off with a girl, then she will leave me.\n\nI am getting used to the idea of her trying out new things, but I think that if she left me for another girl, it would break me. \n\nI just feel like she wants to put me on the waiting list so she can find someone better or end up settling for me.\n\nI can't think of anything else to write right now, but if there's any other information you think would be beneficial to you all helping me, just let me know, and I'll post more details.\n\nI want her to just pick one side quickly, but I know that rushing into things could get shitty.\n\nThanks a ton, /r/relationships", "summary": "Girlfriend wants open relationship to date other girls. She said that leaving me is a possibility. I'm afraid. What do?"} {"id": "t3_2yzsn8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "After two weeks of being broken up, she [32f] told me [32m] that she hasn't loved me for the last 6 months.", "post": "Just not sure what to do. It was hard enough that she broke up with and threw me out 2 weeks ago. Now she texts me today after she's had some time to think saying she hasn't loved me since October. Which October was when we lost our dog to cancer we owned together. \n\nShe told me we can be friends but she doesn't want me to go to the house at all. If ever again. And she wants me to do all the communicating/initiate hanging out, just incase I change my mind and don't want her around anymore. She also mentioned something about she didn't want to annoy/bug me. \n\nI'm just not sure what to do. I love her more than anyone I've ever loved before and it hurts me to just \"get over her\" and move on. I imagined a whole life for us together and our relationship was perfect until our dog got sick. Then everything just crashed and we started yelling and fighting. \n\nLost right now...2 weeks ago she have me sort of false hope about us fixing things and then today took it away. I have no friends that have been available to hangout with since the break up and meeting anyone else, friend or potential, has really scared me. I don't trust people very often and I told her things I've never told anyone.", "summary": "girlfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago with a small sliver of hope. Today she decides that it's for the best and she hasn't loved me since October"} {"id": "t3_1nji0z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21/F] have this friend [21/M] who shows an interest in seeing me, but I'm not sure how to approach this.", "post": "I met my friend three years ago in college. We had two classes together and hung out with other classmates at school so I would call him a loose friend. I haven't seen him since last Spring, but we text every now and then and he recently told me he had a crush on me. Almost every time we text he asks to see me, offering to buy my movie ticket or take me to a hockey game, which is all nice! but I have a boyfriend whom I've been with for 3 years (which my friend should know). I don't want to lead this guy on, but I also don't want to be a shit friend. He told me he \"had\" a crush on me, he never said he \"has\" which is why I *think* he just wants to be friends. What should I do?", "summary": "A friend asks to see me a lot, he had a crush on me during school. I don't want to ignore him but I also won't lead him on."} {"id": "t3_4tua0a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21F) love my boyfriend (21M), but I miss the 'new relationship' jitters. Is there any way to blend old and new?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. I love him so much, and he's very good to me. He's very attentive, gentle, and sweet. We have a decent sex life, and go out on dates often. I'm very committed to him and we plan to move in together after our last year of college. \n\nSo, my boyfriend's best friend from high school had his first-ever kiss a couple days ago. My boyfriend told me the whole story and it was adorable. It got me thinking about our first kiss and the whole buzzy feeling that came with it, the adrenaline. I realized I really missed it, and I got a teeny bit of regret thinking about how I'll never experience this again.\n\nIs it possible to get that exciting feeling in an established relationship, or is comfort the inevitable result of an LTR? If it is possible to get the buzz back, any suggestions on how to do that?", "summary": "I miss the adrenaline and excitement of a new relationship, but am in love with my boyfriend. Is there any way to reconcile these, or are my expectations too high?"} {"id": "t3_4wbkdh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my unanswerd crush [16 F] for about a year got drunk, made out and went skinny dipping,", "post": "i made out with the girl of my dreams on a party, WHILE DRUNK.\nwe also took a shower together, you know without clothes.\nthe next morning we talked about it on whatsapp,\n(without the emoji's)\nme: \nyeah i kinda liked it, kinda funny as well that i got my first kiss from you.\nhell i can still fill you hugging me and almost taste you from the kissing (yes i brushed my teeth)\nher:\nyeah, i am sorry i was drunk and it probably should not have happened especially since it gives you all these feeling.\n(some more conversation which did not really matter.)\n\neventually we decided to not tell anybody we both know or would spread rumours quickly because our school is filled with asshole bullies... but this does not help me with processing it.\n\nand ever since a great friendzone/friendship got ruined by all the awkward feelings.\nwhat should i do to stop making stuff awkward between us and except torturing my brain by forcing me to ignore her while we have the same small group of friends in and out of school?", "summary": "i made out with my crush while drunk and went skinny dipping, there were regrets. and we already talked about it over whatsapp."} {"id": "t3_159et5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What would you dare or challenge me to do for a year, starting today, to make my life more fulfilling and more purposeful?", "post": "When I was a kid, I've always wanted to be a rebel with an extraordinary life who made an impact. Unfortunately, I ended up in a vanilla state of things: I'm F/21, living in US, working a full time job, and being part-time in school. No SO at this point. I am not satisfied with where I am. I've always wanted more and I feel like now is the time for more.\n\nMy job pays me well so I have reasonable financial resources. I create my own schedule at work so my time is fairly flexible. Give me ideas - anything I can do on either a daily, weekly, or monthly basis (but something that doesn't interfere too much with my daily life; e.g. I can't move to a different state or country).", "summary": "I have a great life, but it's kind of boring... I want to be more impactful and have a more fulfilling life. What do you challenge me to do for this following year?"} {"id": "t3_15d3ep", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not paying attention to my (boyfriend's) dog.", "post": "Sorry for the wall of text and/or if this is the wrong subreddit.\n\nSo my boyfriend has a 100+lb 2 year old female Bull Mastiff (Simba). We live together so I consider her my dog too. Today we took her to his friend's house for Sunday football. He has a 9 month old female Black Lab and a 5 lb male Pomeranian Poodle (Payton). \n\nChristmas dog treats were given to each dog and they played together well inside and in the Wisconsin snow. All of a sudden, Simba gets greedy and tries to steal Payton's pig ear. They both bark, then Payton jumps off his perch toward Simba and barks more. Simba then snatched Payton by the neck and shook him violently about half a dozen times. Another friend in the room kicks Simba in the mouth and Payton goes flying and spurting blood.\n\nI scream, pull Simba to the couch and pin her while clenching her collar. She's completely lucid and doesn't resist me. I start crying as someone called the animal hospital. I call for my boyfriend to come in here. I attempt to tell him through sobs why his best friend's dog got mauled. He takes Simba home as Payton clings to life. I talk to my mom some, smoke a bunch of trees, and we just wait. Less than an hour later we get a call. Payton was DOA and his family said goodbye.\n\nI'm a pretty sensitive person and this has completely tore me up. I especially didn't want to witness it. I know at the end of the day she's an animal, but hindsight is 20/20. We're too lenient with Simba and we should have watched her more closely when she was around such a tiny and cocky purse dog. I know it could have happened to anyone, it was anyone's fault, etc, but I don't have much experience with death so I don't know how to proceed into dealing with this.", "summary": "My (boyfriend's) dog killed his best friend's toy breed dog and witnessing it messed me up quite a bit."} {"id": "t3_1nys9h", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I[22f] suffer from social anxiety that affects how I feel in my relationship with my SO [22m]. How do I bring it up?", "post": "I suffer from fairly severe social anxiety. My SO knows that I'm very shy, but I don't think he's ever suspected that it's anything more than this. So far, it hasn't caused any real problems in our relationship, at least outwardly. He seems to accept that I'm naturally very quiet and don't like to talk a lot. I still make an effort to spend time with him and his friend group, even though I'm very uncomfortable, and up until I graduated from college recently I had a friend group with whom I would invite him out occasionally as well.\n\nHowever, I feel like I'm constantly going through an inner struggle because of my anxiety. I have very low self-esteem, for one thing. Participating in activities with his friends is usually an incredibly difficult and painful experience for me, and this makes me not want to go out with his friends even though I often still force myself to. It even makes it difficult for me to spend time alone with my boyfriend sometimes because I often struggle to make normal conversation, and usually feel badly about myself. He doesn't seem to mind my introversion, or at least has never brought it up as an issue in our year together so far, but I'm worried of the long-term effect these issues will have.\n\nUp until now, I've never mentioned any of this to my boyfriend. I'm thinking of going to see a therapist about this, which I know I've put off for far too long. But I don't know if/how I should tell my boyfriend. I know it's something I probably shouldn't keep secret, but I'm afraid of unloading all of my emotional baggage onto him. Any advice on how to bring this up?", "summary": "I have social anxiety, and would like to get help from a therapist soon. How do I talk about this with my SO who I've never told about my anxiety?"} {"id": "t3_myi6z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Have only had chemistry with <5 people? Is the bar too damn high?!", "post": "Hi r/relationships, I'm a 20 F and looking back, I think I only had real chemistry with about 4 guys my entire life out of all the guys I've ever met. I did go to an all girl's high school, but I'm a pretty sociable person and go to a relatively large school where I meet new guys nearly every week (and I'm a junior now). \n\nNormally, I would not assume there was a problem, but I've never had a boyfriend and I just talked to a F friend (also 20) who said she's had really good chemistry with 3 people in the past three or so months. Personally, I see chemistry as when you feel completely comfortable to talk/flirt, the jokes are making sense, etc (the feeling you are with someone who 'gets' you like a best friend but there's also that extra spark), and of course the physical aspect. I've had more crushes than 4 people, but I've also realized that it hasn't been a two way street and the guy in question probably 'wasn't feeling it', so I wouldn't count that as chemistry per se.", "summary": "What I am wondering-is this similar to most people or am I setting the bar too high for what chemistry is?"} {"id": "t3_3n2vi4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How can I [25 f] help my conflict-avoiding, compulsive-lying fianc\u00e9 [26 m]?", "post": "My fianc\u00e9 is, in many ways, a great person. He is loyal, generous, hard-working, and can be very considerate.\n\nHowever, he comes from an abusive home with an alcoholic father and, I think, as a result he has a few very difficult qualities that as of late are making me reconsider our relationship.\n\nHe has a lot of conflict-avoiding tendencies, he lies compulsively, and he cannot control his drinking. He also smokes a lot of weed, which I have less of a problem with except that we cannot afford the amount he spends on it.\n\nI love him. He has helped me through my own health issues. I want to help him through this. I just don't know how.\n\nHe has agreed, several times after doing something awful, to go to therapy. He has never followed through, however, insisting he \"doesn't have time\" or \"doesn't need to.\"\n\nOver the course of our relationship we've seen each others' highs and lows. For a while he was able to distance himself from his dysfunctional family and was a much happier person for it. Now his dad (who still drinks heavily but is too weak to be physically abusive) is dying (very slowly) and things have gotten quite bad again.\n\nReddit, what can I do to help my fianc\u00e9? I don't want to believe this is abusive lost cause, but I can't get married to someone I can't trust, and right now there is very little trust.", "summary": "My fianc\u00e9 causes many unnecessary problems in our relationship by avoiding conflict, lying, and abusing alcohol. How can I help him?"} {"id": "t3_xacv9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'll be an adult soon, but how do I do it?", "post": "Okay. I'm sixteen now, and I'll be seventeen later. That'd be utterly unimportant if it weren't for the fact that after that I'll be eighteen. Once I'm eighteen, I'll be out in the world mostly on my own. \n\nI have a vague idea of what I want to do with myself, and I know how I want to do it. I even have a lovely piece of land and a house I'll be able to afford by the time I'm eighteen (should I?) What I don't have an idea about is all the auxiliary stuff about being an adult. I couldn't fix my plumbing, handle wiring around the house, etc.\n\nMy question, aside from the house/land thing, is, what do I NEED to be able to do to make being on my own easier, what do I not need to worry about, and where can I learn to do these things? Also, if someone could recommend a good college for someone wanting to be a historian/history teacher/folk musician located near VERY upstate NY, I would say thank you and want very much to give you a hug.", "summary": "I want to be an adult, but I don't know how to do typically adult things. Also, please read the whole post."} {"id": "t3_mwedu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Best friend's family are fighting over everything. Known them for 13 years and I'm can't take it anymore.", "post": "I've known my best friend since I was 5(13 years now) and his family for almost as long and I've spent a large amount of time with them and I really care about them.\n\nI like to think they care about me as well, at least that's how I've understood it. However, they just can't stop fighting. \n\nI would say there's at least 3 fights on an average day and that's only the fights that I see before I leave, there's probably more.\n\nFamily consists of mom, dad, best friend(20), sister(16), brother(25ish). \n\nOverall, I feel awful when they're fighting around me especially since it's so painfully obvious how easy it would've been to avoid the fight altogether.\n\nI know fighting with your parents at that age is normal and usually leads to the kids moving out, this has been going on forever and I feel like they will all have trouble communicating with other people in their life if they continue like this(Not to mention how fragile their family connection is right now)\n\nToday after yet another meaningless fight, I decided I was done and gave them an ultimatum. I'm going to break all connections with them until they learn how to not fight. Starting with being able to spend a longer period of time without insulting eachother(Especially in unnecessary things. You don't have to insult someone to get them to do something they forgot)\n\nI talked to them seperately about it and it feels like the sister has already given up and feels like it wont work anyway and that she's tried before and it's hard because they insult her all the time.\n\nMy best friend basically replied: \"Okay then, it was fun having you as a friend all these years\".", "summary": "Best friend's family can't stop fighting. I told them I wont come back until they learn to live without constantly insulting eachother, what if they don't?"} {"id": "t3_1gbbge", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "22 M. I was rejected a couple of weeks ago but still want to ask the girl again", "post": "I've been hanging out with a girl I like for the last couple of months and really like her. Two weeks ago we were at a lounge and I told her I was attracted to her and wondering if she shared the same feelings. She said she didn't. It hurt more than usual because I really thought I had a chance since we've been getting along for a while. So it's been 2 weeks and I've tried to get over it by not contacting her, but she has messaged me a couple of times since then to say hi. I've been thinking about asking her again just to be 100% sure that there's nothing there. Should I? How should I go about asking again?", "summary": "I asked a friend if we shared mutual attraction. She said she didn't. I want to ask again, but not sure if it's a good idea or should I just accept the rejection and move on."} {"id": "t3_os7l2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can someone help me with Vegas Pro 11?", "post": "System specs:\nInspiron 560 PC\nDual Core CPU 3.20 GHz\n6gb RAM\n64-bit Windows 7\n\nIt's a cracked version and I'm trying to edit battlefield videos, but whenever I play it, it doesn't respond after a few seconds. Whenever I try to render instead of play it, it pauses a few seconds into it and and just sits there. But on my laptop (what i'm on now because my desktop is slow when i'm trying to render) i used to have vegas pro 9 and i never had a problem and the laptop had 2 or 3 gb ram. now it has 3gb and has the same problems of the pc (yes i have vp11 on both don't ask why). So is there anyone who has experience with vegas pro and would know what to do? should i downgrade to vegas pro 9 or can anyone give me tips to help me fix the problem? If so thanks in advance.", "summary": "vegas pro 11 gives me not responding when playing preview and just sits there when rendering. vegas pro 9 had no problems a year ago when i had it. should i downgrade to 9 or are there other fixes?"} {"id": "t3_in7gp", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "So I got an interview regardless of not having experience and they say experience is a must...", "post": "I feel like I'm being given a huge opportunity here. I applied to a sales/csr postion because I had the customer service experience and I got an email back with the generic, \"we're sorry\" message because I had no sales experience.\n\nWell apparently I did a very good job of writing a convincing email back and not giving up. I effectively sold myself in the email and later on the phone so they gave me the last available slot they had for an interview.\n\nMy question is, with no sales experience outside of probably selling my car, how can I land this job? I'm nervous as to what kind of questions they'll ask and how I can not sound like a huge buffoon when I have to reiterate to the supervisor that I have no professional sales experience.", "summary": "Landed the interview for a sales job with experience required and I have no experience. Recruiter for their company knows this and still thinks I'll do fine. How can I impress the supervisor at the interview?"} {"id": "t3_4dvg8d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (19f) with my boyfriend (21m), Needing advice on something nice to do for him", "post": "I've been with my partner for a year and I'm pregnant (we're very excited about it)\n\nIt's been a pretty rough ride for us, morning sickness and other little complications so we haven't exactly been the most intimate pair for a while, though we try. \n\nHowever I want to do something special for him, something to show him I love and appreciate everything he does for me and our baby. He isn't overly cuddly and when I try to say \"Cute\" things he makes light jokes and stuff, which is great because I'm uncomfortable with cheesy affection so it works for us however I just want to show him how much he means to me. \n\nI can't drive in my current condition so I can't take him to dinner, I cook most nights and we have lunch dates weekly, It's routine and not exactly a special thing, so what I'm asking is, can someone give me a good/cute idea for how to surprise him? :) \n\nThank you in advance", "summary": "I'm pregnant and worried my partner and I aren't being affectoonate towards each other enough, I want to do something special for him but I don't know what."} {"id": "t3_1ogwwj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Hetero Couple [30s] together three years. We need a way to stop taking each other for granted.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, we are both in our 30s and I can tell we are definitely taking each other for granted. \n\nFor me, I just find myself focusing on his faults and not feeling thankful for the good stuff. I find myself crushing out on his friends or just fantasizing about having relationships with some of them because they seem like \"better\" versions of him (more romantic, better listeners, more career-focused, whatever). It's like being together so long and being exposed to each other has made us sort of \"immune\" to each other's charms. \n\nWe still go out on dates, I still keep myself looking good and dress up for him, we talk about marriage and make plans for the future, but even that doesn't feel very romantic anymore, just inevitable.\n\nI know the minute we broke up, all the good, wonderful, unique things about him will come flooding back, but I just don't feel like I can access them now. And the same for him about me. They feel buried under layers of nights home watching TV and routine sex (at least every night or morning, sometimes both).", "summary": "3 years together and stuck in a rut, need some tips on how to fan the flames of appreciation for each other."} {"id": "t3_4c70si", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend (20M) found out I (19F) am recently single and keeps flirting.", "post": "I've been single for a few weeks now and when one of my friends found out he started being really flirty. He texts me every day and he keeps complementing me, telling me I'm pretty, saying I'm better off, etc. \n\nHe didn't text me nearly as much when I was in a relationship and he has never been this nice before. I don't want to lead him on but I don't know hot to approach the topic or if I should approach it at all. I do like having someone to talk to I'm just not ready for any new romantic relationships in my life. What should I do.", "summary": "My friend is being very unusually flirty after finding out I'm single. Im not sure how to let him know I'm not interested."} {"id": "t3_2aq1at", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (18/M) girlfriend (18/F) of one year has been growing distant and I'm afraid she's going to end things", "post": "I've been dating my girlfriend for over a year now, and it has overall been great. Of course there were rough patches, but this is a step above.\n\nThis summer, she is working 3 jobs to help pay for college. I work as a relief employee in a manufacturing plant, so I work shift work. Me being busy hasn't really been an issue; her being busy with her jobs or her summer sports team is what prevents us from seeing each other.\n\nAs of the past month, she's been very short in answering my texts. She even admitted yesterday that she just really isn't interested in what I'm saying and that she just doesn't have anything to say back.\n\nThis past Saturday was the first day since before we dated that we didn't talk at all. I tried to reach her, but she didn't respond. The next day, she said she didn't even realize that we didn't talk.\n\nShe seemed concerned when she told me all this (she asked me if I was happy with how things were going between us and stuff), and she is texting me when she can.\n\nI haven't been able to see her in person yet, and she says she doesn't have any answers to my questions on how things are between us.\n\nI can provide more details if need be. I just don't know what to expect or what to do in hopes of saving our relationship", "summary": "My girlfriend hasn't been as interested in texting me and we both realize it. She doesn't seem to know how she feels about us. I want to save our relationship if possible"} {"id": "t3_2yjr2d", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "I was issued a citation then later called by the officer and told that the I was ticketed in error. How do I confirm this?", "post": "Yesterday, driving home from a long weekend trip, I was pulled over and issued a citation for doing 86 in a 70. I had my cruise control set at 78. I asked if I could see the radar and if the gun had been calibrated recently, etc. He refused and said that \"Georgia State Patrol is not legally obligated to show you the radar\" and that \"For my safety, you cannot enter my patrol car with the firearms that I carry.\" I told him I was using cruise control and that I couldn't believe my speedo was so far off. As you would expect, he wouldn't budge.\n\nI drove off, absolutely furious. I felt like I had been taken advantage of by East Bumble, Georgia. I called my wife, but she was unsympathetic because I have a history of speeding.\n\nAs I'm on the phone, a police car flies up on my ass and flashes their lights at me. I get over, half expecting to be pulled over again, but they just fly by. about 10 minutes later, I get a phone call from the police officer who just ticketed me. He said that I was not the car that they clocked and that he hadn't sent the ticket yet. He apologized and told me to disregard the citation. As it turns out, they flew up behind me to get my tag and they looked up my tag and found my phone number.\n\nI was relieved, but the whole situation doesn't sit well with me. I want to confirm that I, indeed, have no ticket against me but it feels super foolish to call the court house and ask \"Hey, I just want to make sure I don't have any tickets.\"\n\nHow should I handle this to ensure the ticket is actually gone? What recourse do I have if the ticket is not gone?", "summary": "Was cited for speeding when I wasn't. Cop realized mistake and called me to apologize and tell me the ticket will not be submitted. How do I confirm and/or resolve if the ticket IS submitted?"} {"id": "t3_fvrvr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I was put in a socially awkward situation by an old friend, how should I respond?", "post": "While mindlessly browsing facebook from work, I get a message from someone who I used to be really good friends with a couple years back. Since then he moved out of town and our contact has mainly been through the occasional chat conversation. I haven't seen the guy in person for roughly a year.\n\nAfter the usual small talk he asks me if I'm doing anything on the 23rd this month. Thinking he's hopping to town and wants to sit down for a beer or something I say I don't have anything planned. Nothing like that. Instead, he proceeds to invite me to his brother's wedding (who I don't even know).\n\nAs I've already said I'm not doing anything, I try to hint that it's a bit weird and awkward. He doesn't get the hint. \n\nSo now I'm waiting on an invitation in the mail to a wedding three weeks away from now. I don't know the bride, I know the groom only by name, the only people I will know there are my old friend and another old friend he told me he's inviting, who I haven't seen for even longer \n(if he even comes).\n\n The extra kick is that the wedding is in the middle of the week, and I will have to drive there alone and get back early because of work, so just coming for the alcohol and having a bit of fun isn't really an option.\n\nSo reddit, should I go? Should I bail? If I'm bailing do you have any advice on doing it smoothly with coming off as a blatant liar? I do still wanna keep a good enough connection with the guy, we used to be good friends.", "summary": "Old friend pops out of no where, invites me to wedding of brother I don't know, already said I'm free. What do?"} {"id": "t3_2v5fs0", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17 F]should I break up with my gf [21 F] for good?", "post": "I just joined reddit so I'm not exactly sure how to go about this but here we go. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about eight months now. It all started out perfectly, we just kind of worked and we still do but there's one problem: she compulsively cheats on me. I found out a couple months after we started dating that she had been flirting with another man and sexting him. We were open at the time and I regret doing that so I said that she needed to stop and she said she would but about a month later I find out that she's still been flirting with this guy. I confronted her over it again and we had a huge fight which led to us breaking up a few times, but I would always come back to her. After one particularly huge blow up things were going fine until just recently when I found out that she had let another man kiss her and touch her breasts and that she went to a party with yet ANOTHER man and decided she wanted to make out with him too, so she did. And I didn't find out about it until a week or so AFTER because she hadn't told me the full story.", "summary": "my girlfriend is a cheater and a liar, should I keep crawling back to her because I love her or should I just let go?"} {"id": "t3_38rzgz", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Small Question about taking things slowly [m:23] dating [f: 19]", "post": "Hey all. I have been dating this super shy / awkward girl for about a month, we share a public speaking class in college. Anyway, after about a month of dating, we now spend all evenings when together cuddling and playing footsie. It's super cute and I love it. A few nights ago when driving her home, I asked what her thoughts were as far as an official relationship with me goes. She made the point clear that she really likes me but that she would rather take things slowly. I'm yet to kiss her (even though I've been really, really wanting to.) But I still feel confident that things will work out because we cuddle whenever were together.\n\nMore to point, she said she would like to make sure that we can be friends first before we have a relationship together. I of course agreed to this because I like her but I fear the worst. If she is wanting to take things slowly, how am I to avoid the friend zone? I understand that she wants to take time and become comfortable around me but should I still press eagerly for a first kiss?\n\nI really like her and I've already told her so, as she has towards me.", "summary": "Overall, we have both confessed that we really like each other. I want to say we are girlfriend/boyfriend after a month but she'd rather we take things more slowly. Should I be concerned?"} {"id": "t3_ue1pe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "SO was logged into FB on my laptop, curiosity led to tears", "post": "Me (f) 24, Him 23, we've been together a little over six months. \n\nLike the title says, he was logged in and my curiosity browsed his messages. The message causing me to post to r/relationships was a conversation between him and a sister of a girl he pined after for years. I don't know the complete history of the two, but it spans years. Basically he said he loved me, but he thinks of her everyday and misses her like crazy. Yep, he misses the girl that kept him friend zoned and wrapped around her finger. That old country song 'Jolene' is echoing in my mind. Oh, and he works with her, not always side by side, but occasionally.\n\nThe message was sent around or on our six months anniversary. He made a big deal out of six months. I told him most people celebrate by the year, not every six months. Eventually he said we we're going through a rough patch and thought making six months momentous would help. This hurt because I didn't know we had issues and am constantly trying to get him to communicate.\nYesterday morning while laying in bed I made the comment that nothing good lasts forever. Right before going to bed he tells me he thought I was breaking up with him when I said that. I asked him why he didn't say anything, he had some weak excuse. He did mention he grabbed me tightly and wouldn't let go, which is what he does when things get especially rough or emotional. I should have picked up on it, in retrospect. \n\nThere has been one other time when I got on his laptop and looked through his history. He was upset with me, embarrassed, and felt his privacy was invaded. I can't imagine what he will think or feel about this. I know I'm hurt and have no one to talk to. It's difficult not to feel hurt when I accept him for everything and love him as much as I can, and yet he finds himself hung up on a girl that kept him away. I thought advice from this community would spare me from worsening the situation. And maybe make me feel a bit better\u2026", "summary": "SO didn't log out of FB account, read message, found out he is missing another woman (who kept him friend zoned and strung along) like crazy. "} {"id": "t3_2ezo3z", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not neutering my cat on time", "post": "So this is a story from freshman year, sorry, I didn't know about reddit then. Due to funding issues, I wasn't able to neuter my cat once he was old enough for it. In case you didn't know, when cats get old enough and need to be neutered, they pee everywhere and hump everything. My cat had peed in the house once before, and I thought nothing of it. I woke up around 5:00 am to get ready for school- showered, got dressed, did my hair, brushed my teeth, etc. and by the time I was done it was time too leave to catch my bus. I grabbed my backpack, took four steps outside and realized it was soaked in cat piss. I had a bus to catch at 6:10 and it was already 6:06. I had no other choice but to throw my backpack in the back of the truck and hope it would get the smell off in time. It didn't do anything but dry the pee. I walked on that bus, piss-smelling backpack slung on my shoulders and my headphones in my ears. I would not be talking to anyone. I knew they smelled it. I didn't care. 3/4 of the way in, I decide y'know what- fuck it, I'm leaving my bag on the bus. I got all of my school supplies out of my bag, placed them on the seat next to me and folded my backpack up into a cylinder. When I was sure no one was looking, I put it on the ground in front of me and pushed it into the corner with my feet (I was in the last seat in the back). So I got into school, went through all of my classes without incident and got back on the bus in the afternoon. It was gone and until now, no one was the wiser.", "summary": "Was late, had to bring cat piss smelling backpack to school, emptied it and left it in the back corner of the bus. Got back on the bus and it was gone."} {"id": "t3_115g8n", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "23(F) Started dating again after a bad break-up and I'm paranoid this will end badly", "post": "I broke up with this guy I thought I would spend the rest of my life with about 1.5yrs ago. I recently started dating this guy that I really like. We went on a few dates and everything was going good. About 6-7 dates into it, we made it official so to say. We've had a couple of arguments/fights in the past week. We don't get to see each other often since we're both busy with work, which is something we mutually agreed was fine, and it is. \n\nI think perhaps I'm being paranoid that this will end badly too? I've known this guy for many years now as an acquaintance and I want to give this relationship a fair chance but I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm not ready. Exactly how long does it take for someone to heal from a bad break up? Sigh, I know it's subjective, but I don't want this to get ruined. \n\nIs there any way to control ourselves from changing when the label of a gf is tagged on us? I mean, I feel like I'm taking things in a different way maybe, I'm allowing myself to grow closer to him, but I also feel like because of getting hurt in the past, I'm being very oh-you-hurt-my-feelings-with-that-joke.. not funny", "summary": "i need advice on how to not let my past relationship affect this one. How do can I reduce my paranoia that this will fail too?"} {"id": "t3_4mpx3a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] 3 months, she recently told me she was in a abusive relationship in the past. Not sure how to proceed.", "post": "So, yea I'm not sure what to do with this information.\n\nMe and this wonderful woman have been dating for 3 months now and she's great. She's kind sweet funny and intelligent and charming and great overall and I can see this relationship going far.\n\nShe has a scar going up her side and when I asked her about it in the past she brushed it off. Until today.\n\nShe said she wanted to tell me something she's never told anybody and made me promise not to say anything. She was in an abusive relationship before we met.\n\nShe said he was physically abusive and would hit her sometimes when he would get angry. She said it got so bad that he pushed her and she fell into their coffee table and some glass broke and made a long cut up her side.\n\nShe was partially crying and I just hugged her and comforted her but I'm not sure what else to do. Is there anything I should do going forward to make her feel sad with me.\n\nWhat should I do?", "summary": "my girlfriend told me she was in an abusive relationship before she met me I'm not sure what to do with this information."} {"id": "t3_3bv3t9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [20F] just asked me [20M] out, I don't like her in that way. Problem is, I have to tread carefully or i'll lose all of my friends...", "post": "Hello Reddit!\n\nSo stuff has gotten really serious these past few days. It would seem that my friend (whom i only see as a friend), asked me out, problem is that I don't see her in that way. I just said i'd get back to her on it and it's been 3 days since we last talked. Not a big problem? Well not quite...you see we have a tonne of mutual friends so if i fuck this up i may lose everything. So i need help on how to politely turn her down and stamping any future advancements. PLEASE HELP!!!!", "summary": "Friend who i don't like romantically asked me out, I want to turn her down without hurting her because we have a tonne of mutual friends."} {"id": "t3_2k9bv7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend (M16 of 6months) and I (F16) getting complaints about PDA, but we're being pretty reserved?", "post": "(My apologies if format is weird, im on mobile)\n\n My boyfriend (we'll call him James) and i eat lunch with his friends every day, we've been doing this since before we started dating because i was friends with them before we were an item. Recently we've been getting shit for \"being annoying\" to the point where i was told by one of his friends not to come with them to an event i'd been excited for because \"no one wants to see that\" and we've had people just get up and leave when we kiss hello. \n\n Now i know this is a grey area for a lot of people, and as teenagers we're known for being gross, but we dont see how what we're doing is all that offensive. During lunch he sits with his arm around me and we maybe kiss a few times but its generally a second long peck on the lips, nothing major. We kiss hello and goodbye but generally wait until we've parted ways with friends and make sure to keep it below a count to three. I can understand being grossed out by pda when people are really going at it, or being annoyed when they aren't interacting with the group, but we're being pretty chill and actively participating in the conversation. This is literally more reserved rhan we are around my parents. None the less we're appertently really bothering his friends. James is a pretty affectionate person and i really enjoy it, it feels wrong to tell him to cut back when we're already being pretty reserved (as far as we're concerned) and other people are the only ones having any objection to it. James thinks they're being unreasonable and doesnt care if they're annoyed, i on the other hand feel awful about it and feel like i should stop going to lunch with him so as not to bother them. The problem with this is that James insists that if i leave he's coming with me and i feel like they would have even more of a reason to resent me if they think their friend has stopped hanging out with them so that he can be gross with his girlfriend.", "summary": "Bf and i are annoying friends with pda, dont know if we're gross or they're immature, regardless i'm trying not to be a bitch about it how can we solve this."} {"id": "t3_zh1xf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] got a couple texts from my girlfriend [23F] of almost one year that has me worried.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating just shy of one year and have had a wonderful relationship thus far. At work today, we have had a small conversation that has me worried. Has gone like this:\n\n______________________________________________\n\nHer: I really really hate everything and need to be alone right now.\n\nMe: [name], what's the matter?\n\nHer: I'm worn out. I don't like me, I don't like my job, I don't like any other job I could have, I don't like my life, I don't like our relationship. I'm just fed up.\n\nMe: Oh no. Ok, please tell me what you need me to do for you right now.\n\nHer: I don't know. I need to get on a workout regimen again and start eating properly but I spend so much time away from home and at work I can't seem to make time for anything other than sleeping and showering outside \nwork.\n\n_________________________________________________\n\nThat's all so far. I haven't ever been in a situation like this before with a relationship. We love each other, and nothing has been out of the ordinary until she texted me this today. \n\nI know she has been unhappy with work for the past few months and we have been making efforts to change this for her. ex. updating and polishing her resume, sending it in places. She has been hesitant to do anything because she wants to hit her two year mark at her current job in February.\n\nShe has clearly said what is wrong and a few things she wants to do to help the situation.\n\nMy question: Where do I start, and what specifically do I do?", "summary": "Girlfriend texted me about being unhappy with work, life, and our relationship. With no previous problems in our relationship, where do I start?"} {"id": "t3_3m2d5u", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU Turned a 4 minute speech into a 1 minute one", "post": "So I've been preparing for what I had to say for a group presentation since last Friday. I practiced it and everything. I'm usually really good at presentations. I knew my material well, woke up early at 5 am(yesterday) to go over it again. \n\nThe TIFU happened yesterday...So I drive to school class. Our group presents first. I am the first to speak in our group. For some reason, I developed anxiety for some reason during this and go through my entire part of my part of the presentation in one minute. I pretty much just read it so fast it took a minute. No breaks, no transitions used. I just read it like I was a reading racer.It was supposed to take 4-5 mins.\n\nAnd on top of that my teacher tells me I was standing in front of her so she couldn't see our presentation. I had to stand angled so that our group could fit.\n\nHave that class tomorrow again, I'm really quiet in class. So now the class probably thinks I'm weird or have social problems lol.", "summary": "Went through my presentation in about a minute was supposed to take 4 minutes at the least and teacher probably hates me now lolololol. Group/class probably thinks I'm odd haha"} {"id": "t3_2mll6x", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My coworker is an extremely difficult person and I need to deal with this.", "post": "Guys, I have a few problems with this, and since I moved to another country, working in a local company and stuff things have been pretty great. I came to be the expert developer on a certain software, and the only other developer was this guy with like 40+ years.\n\nAt first, I started to work with him but then I was asked to join a project in the company, which actually was pretty important and other companies didn't manage to deliver it.\n\nSince we finished the other project, I noticed this guy, let's call him Bob, is treating me differently. He invited me to a meeting to see something he did based on something I did before, and like there was no real problem, everything was working (according to him). Then he asked me if there was something bad in his code. As soon as I said something was bad, he replied \"I copied that from you\", as I promptly said \"No, I would never do that\".\n\nAfter that, my boss asked me to take over a few tasks that were with him because Bob said he couldn't do it alone. So I took like 75% of the available work and Bob got the rest. \n\nBob needed to pass me the password to access the customer's server and sent me the wrong password. I noticed it was wrong and he replied I should talk to the customer. Thing is, I went to the company and asked him to try the password he sent me. It didn't work. Then, I asked him to erase the password that was saved in the software and try the one he sent me, and he said he wouldn't do that. He was projecting from his notebook, and as he opened his email client I saw the new password the customer had sent him.\n\nWell, problem is:\n\nBob makes a lot more money than I do;\nBob is a terrible developer and his lack of knowledge is making my work less efective;\nBob is friends with one of the owners since college.\n\nI'd really like to hear opinions on this.\n\nSorry for the wall of text.", "summary": "Coworker seems jealous because I know way more than he does and it is trying to screw me. He is a long term friend of my boss."} {"id": "t3_o34t1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "We've been dating for 5 months and I don't know what to do", "post": "Rundown: I met him at the end of August online. My \"intent\" was a long term relationship, his was hanging out. I'm confident *we're both terrible at communicating how we feel*. We both make subtle comments, but those only have so much merit. **How can I open myself up more?**\n\nAt the start we saw each other about once every two weeks, and now we see each other once a week unless the other is really busy with school or work. We're both still listed as single on POF. He has an account on okcupid, too.\n\nHe's 27 (a grad student), I'm 20 (an undergrad).\n\nI really like him and we get along well.\n\n*It seems like one of the bigger issues is stuff on fb/about his ex-it's making me uncomfortable*:\n* He has photos of him and his ex (now best friend) in bed together on fb. The photos are from 2007 (they broke up in 2009). Would it be rude of me to ask him to take them down? \n\n* He has only mentioned his best friend once, and hasn't mentioned that she's his ex.\n\n* He went to Iceland with her this summer. He mentioned going to Iceland, but left out going with her. \n\n* The day after our 5th date I noticed that the photos of him and his ex were gone, but I also noticed I couldn't see any of his tagged photos. On her profile, it's clear that he's still tagged, he's just limited the access on his profile. I don't know if it's just limited to me. \n\n* We don't talk on the phone, and I don't mind because I actually hate talking on the phone. I much rather skype or meet in person. Is it strange or telling that we don't speak on the phone?\n\nAside from that, I look forward to seeing him and spending time with him. Sooo please help me :) I'll be seeing him this time tomorrow.", "summary": "how to bring up inappropriate photos of potential bf with his ex without sounding dramatic or insecure. How do I ask where our relationship is going? We've never had a talk about it."} {"id": "t3_37gobc", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "5 year relationship, sink or swim? me-[24,f], ex-[24,m]", "post": "I dated someone for over 5 years and I think things are ending permanently now. I guess I don't even know how to feel because the way it happened was just so...weird? I told him I wanted to see other people and that I thought he should too and we just kind of mutually agreed, I think. This happened around New Year. But then we kept talking all the time (we were in long distance for the last 6 months of our relationship) and he was still always there for me when/if I needed him.\n\nI saw one other person in that time but it wasn't serious. And after seeing my ex (it feels so weird calling him that because of how much we talk) for the first time since our \"break up\", I just started to regret everything. \n\nAdmittedly, we had a lot of problems that we would need to sort out but I honestly think if we both worked hard enough, communicated more openly and honestly, and helped each other with personal efforts to better ourselves, we could be together for good, and right now, that's really what I want.\n\nHe says he still loves me and I love him, but he thinks we need to become our own people, with us getting back together being just a \"possibility\", not a goal. He thinks if we change for each other, we would both have to compromise and would fall back into our old ways. I agree with the first - however, I think most successful relationships require that - but if we are both really trying to become better people, I don't see things reverting to how they were.\n\nHe's been a huge part of my life for so long and I want to keep him in it but I don't think I can handle us being such close friends, knowing we both love each other but that we won't be getting back together any time soon/ever.\n\nThe thought of excluding him from my life hurts just as much though as the idea of our (IMO) precarious friendship.\n\nI really have no idea what to do.", "summary": "Going through extremely blurry break up. Willing to go all in but ex doesn't want to. Still good friends and talk all the time though.."} {"id": "t3_3zxyhl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (24f) deceased mother's (56f) ex? (56m) acts like he wants to be in my life...ten years too late.", "post": "My (24f) mother (56f) passed away on December 30th. It was very VERY sudden. She and I were very close, especially after my father passed when I was ten years old. \n\nMy mom's ex (56m) started dating my mother when I was 13. They were dating a few years, and she broke up with him multiple times due to circumstances (ex, caught him with son's mom, saw him get close with male friend, etc). One of these instances was that he physically abused my mom. That is when I lost all types of respect for the man. Every time he and I would be in the same room, I would immediately leave cause I couldn't stand him. My mom was a strong person and a tough cookie so I knew she was ok to be in the same room. \n\nThe past two years, my mom has used him around the house for handiwork and her self employed business. However, they were never \"official\" anymore. He was just her \"employee\". In fact, my mom wrote him off weeks before she passed because she got tired of his bull. \n\nSo when she passed away, he all of a sudden acted like a \"father figure\" to me, saying stuff like \"i really loved your mom\" and \"if you need anything i will be there\". With me, i wouldn't care if i EVER saw him again. Her funeral is Saturday and he said he wants to \"show up in his military uniform (from the 80's) in honor of her\"\n\nI don't know how to get this leech of a man out of my life. Any advice would be appreciated!", "summary": "my deceased moms ex won't leave me alone after being a \"fantastic\" figure in my life for the past 10 years. I want him to GTFO of my life."} {"id": "t3_30auqn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 M] breaking up with GF [29 F] of several years, have I done the right thing?", "post": "I've been really unhappy for a long time, but hidden it away for the sake of staying together and not being alone. I've finally come to the conclusion that I can't let this go on any longer as the next thing we would do is buy a house, get married, have kids etc etc. and then I'd be truly tied in, with how many years of me secretly being unhappy? Until I die? I'm not someone who sleeps around, I'm not going to give her a reason to not like me.\n\nThe problem here is that she really likes me, it's just not mutual. She's a nice person, not crazy or anything, but after the first year of living together I started to feel like I wasn't in it any more and now everything I do just feels forced, we carried on because she was happy and we could live and work in the same area.\n\nWe broke up the other day because I basically said I'm not in it any more, and I felt like there would be no good time to say this, but it would only get worse as time went by. She was really upset, got angry at me, and asks me if I'd change my mind. I told her it makes no sense, it's not fair on her if I'm not going to want to be a part of it and her love goes to waste, and it's not fair on me if I'm tied to something I don't want.\n\nI just need to know it'll get easier for her. I'm an asshole for letting it go as long as it has, but I'm not the one suffering here anymore. I know it's the right thing for me.", "summary": "Broke up with GF of several years, I wasn't happy for a long time. Someone please tell me I've done the right thing."} {"id": "t3_4sjwql", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Hired at first salary position on july 1st. never Received information for drug test; attempted to contact multiple times, getting ghosted! Help??", "post": "So I got my first salary job finally; it's decent pay and something I wouldn't mind doing... The interview went great and they were very enthusiastic about getting me going as fast as possible. \n\nThat was July 1st. They said to call back on Tuesday (July 5th) to get the information for my drug test, and they'd submit for my background check in the mean time. \n\nSo I called Tuesday and got told to call back the next day. On Wednesday the manager said I should of been contacted by now, and confirmed with HR that my information was in the system... was told to hold tight and wit for a e-mail with the drug test information. \n\nI never received anything. Called back Friday ( July 8th, one week since I was \"hired\") for the hiring manager to tell me \"well I don't know what the problem is... try back on monday.\"\n\n------------\n\nCalled multiple times yesterday and got put on hold indefinitely in till I hung up. Tried e-mailing and calling again today and was ghosted on both tries. \n\nI'm frustrated and close to giving up. What would you guys do?", "summary": "Got hired about two weeks ago; company ignoring all my attempts to contact them to do drug test/back ground check..."} {"id": "t3_2ps1f1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my GF [23 F] of 7 months, we started dating back in the summer, We get on well but I don't know if my heart is in the right place.", "post": "throwaway my main account is easily linkable to me and I don't want anyone to come across this post who might know who I am. \n\nwell to begin we started dating back in the summer, everything was going well we get on well but I'm just not feeling what I should be towards someone I'm in a relationship with.\n\nI tried to break it off back in October but I agreed to meet up with her after some time to see how I felt. We went out on a few dates and she had just decided that meant we where back together. She came to watch me play a while ago at bar, some of my friends where also there and she was saying to one of my friends how we where now back together. I'd never agreed past we'd see each other and see how things are.\n\nI've now ended up back in a relationship when I'm just not feeling it is the right thing for me. It's not that she's a bad person or I dislike her in fact I think she is a great person and I do enjoy spending time with her but mentally I'm just not there in this relationship, I can't imagine any kind of future with her it's just me that comes to mind when I think about it, now don't think I cant think like that because I have had thoughts of time spent together and future plans with other girls I've been with.\n\nI just don't know what to do, do I carry on and see if I end up with those feelings or am I flogging a dead horse?", "summary": "with a girl, broke up with her met up with her once after said breakup, she assumed that means we're back together after that, don't think this is what I want, Brain hurts from all this thinking"} {"id": "t3_488nx4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What can I [21M] do about my little brother [18M] who is playing way too many video games?", "post": "My brother is a freshman in college, and isn't doing well in his classes. He is failing one of them. He was blaming this on a bad professor, but I've recently discovered through a friend that he's put 30 hours into a PC game that came out four days ago, and 100 hours total over the past two weeks (the service he uses tracks usage).\n\nI am worried that his gaming is affecting his not just education, but his social and physical well-being as well. If you're putting 50 hours of gaming in a week, on top of school work, how do you have time for friends or staying physically active? He was always with friends and staying fit (he was a swimmer) in high school, so I'm worried he's on a decline that is for the worst.\n\nHow can I talk to him about this? I am concerned he's going to do poorly in his classes and am also concerned for his general well-being. Any advice is appreciated.", "summary": "Brother is playing lots of video games, very possibly to the point that it is impacting aspects of his life. How I can talk to him about this?"} {"id": "t3_4qnpn8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21F] brother-in-law [33M] just confessed that I turn him on. How should I approach this?", "post": "A couple months ago my family and I went to visit my sister in law for vacation. They have 4 wheelers and we had to go in pairs. I got to ride with my brother in law, who I've always cared about and has never disrespected me to this point. My sister didn't think anything of it either. \n\nWell we leave and they started having issues (nothing to do with me). He was caught cheating among other issues, but my sister loves him and I understand her decision to stick by his side. \n\nFast forward a couple months to now, I text him asking about a pair of shoes and he brings up the 4 wheeler ride. I try to steer the conversation away, but he then says it turned him on and he knows I had to have felt it! I didn't respond because I didn't know what to say and so he texted again saying never mind. \n\nI don't know if I should respond to him? If I should send screen shots to my sister (I don't want to start more issues)? Should I just avoid visiting for a while? I don't want to get in the middle of this. I love my sister and brother in law and respect their family very much. \n\n(By the way it's important to note I caught my sister cheating once on my brother in law and I was the one that told him about it. My sister and brother in law have a long history together and I don't think they are ever going to break up, regardless it's not my business. Ever since that though, I was looked down on by my sister and family and we finally have a good relationship again and I don't want to ruin it again by sticking my nose where it doesn't belong.)", "summary": "Brother in law confessed I turn him on and I'm not sure how to respond and if I should tell my sister or not. "} {"id": "t3_20kabt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (27/F) was honest with my husband (28/M) about my feelings for another man (36/M).", "post": "My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for 1.5 yearsz I wrote awhile back under another throwaway that I had interest in another guy, Jake, and that we had briefly kissed one night. I got called a lot of names in here so I deleted the post. Anyway, I told my husband the truth and we went to marriage counseling the next day. We have been going each week for about 6 weeks now and our relationship has been really good. I no longer feel interested in Jake, and my husband and I identified what we need in a relationship to feel content and desired by each other. \n\nI still occasionally hang out with Jake in a group setting and only when my husband is comfortable with it. Fast forward to today when I get a message from someone claiming to be Jake's girlfriend. She called me names and asked if my husband knew about me and Jake. This is surprising because it means that Jake had kept texts from me from months ago. I messaged Jake and told him what happened. I asked him to delete any old texts from me because we are past that stage and it makes me feel weird that he still has that stuff on his phone. He said that he likes our old texts but that he would delete them. He said the girl is his ex-girlfriend who is bitter he won't take her back. \n\nI don't care what their relationship status is, but I do care if my husband somehow gets dragged into this. Should I message her back and say that Jake and I just got too flirty and nothing really happened between us? Or just not message her back at all? Should I tell my husband that she messaged me? I really hate talking about this stuff with my husband because I can tell that it hurts him. I would really rather not bring it up, but I also don't want to hide anything from him.", "summary": "I was honest with my husband about my interest in another guy, we fixed our relationship, now other guy's girlfriend is messaging me about old text messages I sent him."} {"id": "t3_1hc90m", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Revenge on annoying cashier", "post": "I know I'm pitching for a tough crowd here.. Most of the stories seem to be from the service-person's POV complaining about a customer, well here's a tale from across the counter.\n\nThis happened when I was 20, still in college. I had a car, so I took one of my female friends (23) grocery shopping. We shared a cart since I needed a couple of things, but she decided to go on a massive food shopping spree. She also got a single six pack of Mike's Hard lemonade, the black cherry stuff.\n\nAs we're checking out, on separate orders, the cashier who was a young-ish dude asked to see her id. She complied. Then he asked to see mine. Being underage for drinking in the US (21 is the legal age), I straight up told him that I was not 21, but that the alcohol was definitely all hers. He would hear none of that and told her she can't buy it.\n\nWe were a bit annoyed, because of how stupid it all seemed. I'm a pretty big guy, 6'2, posses a luscious beard, pretty muscular, and this little prick thought that my friend (5'5, really skinny Asian) was buying me girly liquor. If there was a substantial amount of beer, or hard liquor, I'd totally understand, but at the same time I'd never actually go myself to buy alcohol for myself, because that's just stupid.\n\nOn to the revenge. This particular grocery chain occasionally had employees that would bag the food for you. When no \"baggers\" are available I bag my own shit if I'm buying a lot to speed things up for the cashier. So this time I went to the bags at the end as if I was going to help bag the substantial amount of food my friend got... and proceeded to simply stare at the foodstuffs coming down the rolling ramp. The cashier looked at me, and I look back at him expectantly. He then proceeded to bag our food.\n\nRight after we exit the store, I head to the car with the grocery cart, while my friend goes back to the store, picks up her Mike's, gets me a 6-pack of beer, and proceeds through the self-checkout line without any issues.", "summary": "Cashier at grocery store doesn't let my friend buy herself some girly booze, so I don't help him bag our stuff"} {"id": "t3_3jiej1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [34 M] with my Wife [34 F] I'm trying to get out and get a divorce, everyone keeps saying take it slow.", "post": "This is a follow up to these two posts:\n\nI realized my relationship with my wife of 11 years has been destroying me emotionally, but I still love her. I went into counseling. Counselor and everyone I know says \"take it slow\", this is a decision you don't take lightly. Which is totally true. We still might patch things up, but I have no idea how.\n\nWhen we are apart, I resolve myself for a divorce. I feel great, I feel free, I feel like myself. When we are together I am filled with fear, regret, yet also not wanting to leave this woman I love. It would be so easy to just take her in my arms and hold her forever. I bounce between these emotions a half dozen times a day.\n\nI can't just move out of the house, I have nowhere to go and can't afford to rent an apartment and pay for the house. We're stuck together until we either resolve our issues, or a divorce is finalized. Its agony.", "summary": "Stuck living with person I want to leave, making me conflicted about leaving. How do I \"take it slow\" and keep my sanity?"} {"id": "t3_3btius", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to be Mr. Fixit", "post": "This happened just now. Ok to start things off, last weekend I recieved a broken 3ds from one of my cousin's friends. She had dropped it and as a result broke it in half. It seemed a waste to just let it sit there and corrode so I asked for it and took it home to fix it, mind you this is the first repair job I've done, besides barely opening my ps vita to disconnect and reconnect the battery.\n After a couple hourse of reasearch i found that the speaker, lcd, and camera cables were torn, PLUS the wifi antenna. So i ordered the parts on ebay, with smash 4 hoping that I'd be able to play once i fixed it all up.\n Fast forward to this afternoon and I've got all the pieces, of course smash 4 isn't here but oh well I'll worry about that later. Everything seems to go smoothly until i have to put the ribbon cables back through the hinge, which took me a couple of hours to figure out, but not without giving the cables a bit of damage. *Pssshhh* whatever they're *supposed* to be bendy, right? So I continue to put the console back together and am excited for the end result. Press the power button, and then *pop!* and then nothing. \n I couldn't believe it! The 3ds i spent so much time working on wasn't turning on! Now I'm sitting here saddened that I spent 60+ dollars on 3ds parts and smash and have nothing to show for it.", "summary": "Tried to fix up 3ds for my own personal enjoyment despite having no experience. Am now broke. Leave it to the professionals guys."} {"id": "t3_15h7g3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Want to ask girlfriends father for his blessing to ask his daughter to marry me, but I know he is going to bring up religion...I'm atheist. Need advice", "post": "Pretty much the title says it all. I (M25) want to ask my girlfriend (F27) to marry me. We have been together 2 years, lived together 1, and best friends for 7 years. I really like her family, and want to be respectful to their traditional values...at least with this and ask her dad for his blessing. They are pretty religious, just nondenominational Christian. My girlfriend classifies herself as spiritual, as in she believes in God, but not necessarily in the bible, etc.\n\nHer family has hinted at religion with me before. They know I am not religious and that my family isn't either, but don't know that I actually don't believe. I know he is going to bring it up when I talk to him, and I worry that it is going to be an issue. I have spoke to my lady about this sort of thing in the past, and she always just says to not talk about religion with him. I don't really want to bring it up to her now, because I want this to be a complete surprise.\n\nWhat happens if he says that is a prerequisite to marry his daughter? Should I tell him that I am an atheist if he asks? Should I still ask her if he says no? Has anyone had any experience with this?", "summary": "Want to ask my lady to marry me, but want to respect her parents wish. They are religious, I am not, I am just looking for advice to handle this potentially awkward situation."} {"id": "t3_rv8aq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do you kick someone out of a group that no one likes hanging out with anymore?", "post": "So my old roommate tries to hangout with me and my new roommates every weekend. At first I tried to tell my roommates not to let him come but they thought I was being irrational. Now he feels like he is part of the group and we all want him out. He used to invite himself over all the time and we finally got him to stop doing that. But we don't want him to be around anymore. I told my roommates the only way to deal with it is to just straight up tell him that we don't want to hang out with him anymore, but we don't know how to go about it without saying it outright. What is the best way to handle this situation? \n\nBTW- he is an alcoholic so we want to let him down easy so he doesn't go crazy with alcohol.", "summary": "Annoying old roommate always wants to chill every weekend, but we all want him out and want the gentlest way to tell him."} {"id": "t3_36se3l", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Married couple in our twenties looking to console a friend whose wife left him", "post": "Our friend is about the same age. They were married for 2 years, together for about 3 years before that. We found out only after the wife left the husband (about 6 weeks ago) that they've been struggling for at least a year. The husband was incredibly stressed out with work and doesn't have good communication skills and had been taking it out on her, to the point that everyone involved now acknowledges he was verbally abusing her for at least this past year. She left and has no intention of coming back, and wants to speak to him minimally except about logistics of the divorce. \n\nHe's already made changes (read multiple books about verbal abuse, started seeing a therapist), and believes if he could just convince her to try that things would be better because he now understands that he was mistreating her. She's fully convinced that she doesn't want to try to fix things and feels relieved to be out of the marriage.\n\nNow that I've spoken with the wife a couple of times, I'm realizing that there's very little hope of reconciliation, and I'm trying to help the husband move on. He's stuck on the fact that she's not willing to try and that she's only talked to him for several hours total about the dissolution of their 5 year relationship. He believes he'll never be happy without her. I don't know how to help him!\n\nMy husband and I are the closest friends to them and are the main support system of the husband. We get together with him 1-2 times a week, and a lot of it is spent talking about their relationship (understandably). The other concern here is how to be helpful without also getting myself depressed, because it's been an extremely stressful year for me and I'm having my own struggles with optimism and being the main support system for someone whose life is crashing down around him is leading me to my own internal freakouts (e.g. when I first found out about their impending divorce, I was so affected that I cried a lot the next day and had had to take a personal day from work to deal with my new feelings about the fact that the optimistic beliefs I tend to hold about life might be irrational).", "summary": "How do I be a support system for my friend whose wife left him, and do so without sending myself into a tailwind of depression too?"} {"id": "t3_e7fcn", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Good friend has a crush on me, would like advice (details inside)", "post": "Two of my new roommates introduced me to a whole new social group that I have been hanging out with a lot since they moved into my house. This is a college house fyi. This girl is good friends with my two roommates and this social circle and they all have a lot of history together that doesn't involve me prior to two months ago when we all met. Since then, we've all been hanging out very regularly and I even have a class with her and two of the other new friends.\n\nBased on her body language, texts, and other forms of verbal/non-verbal communication I am certain this girl has a crush on me. She's a sweet, cute girl and I would hookup/date her if it came down to that, but I recognize that I shouldn't for the sake of our new friendship and for the sake of not disrupting this new social circle I've been immersed in. She's a long term friend of my two roommates and I don't think that would go over all that well.\n\nI'm kinda unsure about what direction to take this in. Nothing decisive has to be determined at this moment, but if someone could share thoughts or similar stories that would be awesome.", "summary": "Cute, nice girl/good friend of my friends likes me. I *could* get with her, but probably shouldn't. Need advice."} {"id": "t3_4zvo67", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Found out yesterday that my [21F] dad [66M] abused my mom [56F] before they split up", "post": "Sorry, this might be long. \n\nWhat I Knew Before Yesterday:\n\nMy mother [24f at the time] got a job working for my dad [34m] at an architecture firm. He was married, but they started sleeping together. When my mother broke things off, she went to graduate school in Europe to get away from him. He followed her there, begged her to take him back, and left his wife for her. He had a temper and would sometimes scare her in fights. Ten years later, he starts sleeping with Julia and my parents split up while my mother is pregnant with me. \n\nWhat I Found Out Yesterday:\n\nMy mother did not leave my father just because he was cheating on her. She left him because he was starting to expand his emotional abuse into physical abuse. He hit her. He smashed plates during arguments. He broke his first girlfriend's jaw in an argument. Her animosity towards him growing up clicked into place; I always knew my dad was sort of an asshole, I didn't know he was a piece of shit. \n\n**\nI guess I don't know what to do with this information. As it is, I rarely talk to my dad and rarely visit him, not because of what he did to my mother, but because he's always been self- and work-centered with a painful lack of empathy. He didn't want anything to do with me or my brother until I was already 3. My only tie to him right now is that his current girlfriend, Amelia, manages my schizophrenic brother's [25M] legal, therapeutic, and life-problem issues. I don't know if it's worth burning my bridge with my father all the way down, even though this new information makes me want to hurt him. I don't know what to do. Probably see a therapist. But if there's any coping mechanisms any of you could offer, it wouldn't go unnoticed.", "summary": "My dad abused my mother before they split up 20 years ago. I just found out yesterday, how do I go forward with this information?"} {"id": "t3_445py8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Gf(21) broke up with me (m20) 3 days ago. We finally talked about how getting back together would work out.", "post": "Basically, one of the reasons we broke up was she felt I wasn't maturing along with her. I am in college and have been putting off getting a job. We live 2 hours and 30 minutes away, and I was worried we wouldn't get to see each other. I realize now that's extremely stupid and we need to plan for our futures if we want a good one together. \n\nShe said she needs to see I've matured and am serious. She also says I need to do it for myself and not for her. I absolutely want to better myself but in the long run, I need her back and it's one of my motivators for this. How can I go about doing this? How do I prove to her I've grown up (besides getting a job) and not make it seem like I'm just doing it to get her? Any advice is welcome.", "summary": "Gf broke up with me, and if I want to get back together I have to prove I've grown up and am serious about my future."} {"id": "t3_4iwmdu", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "[Help] Grandmothers 6 Y/O shih tzu peeing everywhere", "post": "Short backstory:\nMy grandparents live in a 2 story town home, but they trained their dog on potty pads in the house instead of training her outside, so she doesn't get out much and isn't very stripped from her routine. As of February, my grandfather passed and everyone is going through a rough time, and I think the dog is as well. My grandmother every night before bed went upstairs to sleep, but she can not bear sleeping in the bed without my grandfather so she has been sleeping downstairs on the couch ever since. My grandmother also leaves the house a lot more now than she used to, and we recently started packing up furniture to start moving her closer to us.\n\nThe problem:\nThe dog (Sadie) keeps peeing all over the floors and not on her potty pads that are in certain spots in the house (2 spots downstairs, 1 upstairs.) she often pees in front of the staircase, sometimes poops. Well now my grandmother is staying at our house for the weekend while she moves, and now the dog is peeing all over my kitchen floor. She scolds the dog whenever it happens, but nothing changes. My grandma is getting sick and tired of this, and doesn't want to get rid of the dog but she can't take it anymore. What steps do we need to take in order to fix the dogs potty problem? Is it a way of grieving? Is it out of spite for changing her routine?", "summary": "my grandpa passed away and the dog is being stripped from her routine, resulting in potty problems. What gives?"} {"id": "t3_uxf1o", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Looking for a book from my teen years, maybe reddit can help?", "post": "I don't remember a whole lot about it, (obviously, or I wouldn't be looking for it). It's along the lines of a Christopher Pike novel, but I know for certain it's not his. \n\nTo start, the cover had a teenage girl, with her face blurred, possibly a hand to her face, what seems like a wooded background, trees, bushes, but still suburban. The only main plot points I can remember are the beginning:: typical twins-separated-at-birth-neither-knew thing. one twin gets murdered, face blown off by a shotgun as she answers the door. Completely unrecognizable. Other twin flies to place (California maybe? Alive twin was in European country) twin that's still alive takes over dead twin's life, down to mannerisms, friends, whatnot. I remember a gazebo in the yard being a major plot focus, a motorcycle driving by, waiting at the gazebo, and a palm pilot in a hidden desk drawer with an alarm that goes off at a certain time every day. \n\nThat's all I can remember. It was the first in an either two or three part series and it's been bugging me for 10+ years that I cannot remember the title or author or anything. Maybe someone else has read it. I picked it up when I was maybe 13, and I think it was printed in early 90's, but definitely not sure. If anyone has any leads, they would be greatly appreciated!", "summary": "young adult book, twins, one killed, motorcycle, gazebo, secret desk drawer, palm pilot, alarm, first in a series."} {"id": "t3_3l4bjm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Feeling like my depression makes me [25/F] a terrible wife to my wonderful husband [25 M/]. Advice?", "post": "I've been with my husband since ninth grade (almost eleven years). I have always suffered from chronic depression and he has always been an unwavering support for me during the tough times. He is so kind about it but I feel insanely guilty that he has to deal with it constantly. I have constant panic attacks and mood swings and I haven't been able to control it at all recently. He is a saint. The least I could do is give him some good sex. \n\nUnfortunately, my sex drive is at an all time low. I don't want it at all and I honestly feel like I don't need it ever. I've switched medications in an attempt to revive it but I fear that I'll never get it back at this point. He is so patient about it but I fear that he'll start to think I'm not attracted to him or I don't love him. And mostly I fear that I'm depriving him of sex, which is terrible! He is probably incredibly stressed out about my problems and he needs an outlet that I can't provide right now. I feel like the worst wife ever :(\n\nI want to be able to show him how much I love him and how much I appreciate all of his help. I just started seeing a psychiatrist in the hopes that she'll be able to help me with it. The medications make me robotic but without them I'm constantly on the verge of insanity. \n\nI know he says he doesn't mind but I feel so guilty and selfish. He has to work around my problems all the time. He doesn't deserve that and I don't really know how to proceed. \n\nHas anyone else been through this? Have you been able to overcome the lacking sex drive that comes with depression and antidepressants? How can I improve my sex drive? How can I show my appreciation in other ways?", "summary": "Looking for ways to overcome the severely lacking sex drive that accompanies depression and antidepressants. How can I improve my sex drive? How can I show my husband I care in other ways?"} {"id": "t3_38itrp", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by taking my ten year old son and his two friends to see porn.", "post": "Okay so this actually happened five years ago and it was my mom who screwed up, but I'm telling the story.\n\nWhen Piranha 3D came out my two friends and I pestered my mom to go see the movie. She watched the trailer and found it acceptable. \n\nSo we go to the theaters and my friends and I run to the theater entrance where a security guard stops us from entering. My mother eventually catches up and is told this is a rated R movie. She says it's fine and we enter. Due to the trailers, she and my friends and I thought it was just a new Jaws. Just blood and gore. \n\nLittle did she know, the movie was full of nude ladies and a very very explicit lesbian scene. At this point she was embarrassed as heck. The security guard and all the others in the theater must have thought of her as a horrible mother. \n\nWe leave the theater and my mom rushes us to the car as fast as we can. She bribes my friends into not telling their parents by buying us all McDonald's.", "summary": "My mom took me and my two friends to see Piranha 3D because she didn't know about the countless nude scenes."} {"id": "t3_2kt4pw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [17 M]and have a crush on this girl [17 F], but we don't have any lessons together, so we don't see each other much. When we do, it's just awkward.", "post": "So there is this new girl in my year that started a couple of months ago, and we DID have a few lessons together, at the start of term. WE really hit it off, but she later found the subject too demanding and she switched subjects.\n\nI then didn't see her for a while, but I messaged her on Facebook and had a conversation with her and, again, she seemed really into me. However after that conversation, I haven't talked to her because we no longer share the same lessons and when I do see her around, I get really nervous and just smile and move along.\n\nIt can also be awkward as she might be talking to someone else (her friends etc) and I don't know them well enough to but in and talk to her/them.\n\nThere are also a couple of guys that are much more forward than me, and just go up to her and start talking. It also doesn't help that they have the same classes as her, so they can talk about subject-related things etf.\n\nHow should I proceed in talking/ getting to know her? I am really finding it difficult to just go and say *Hi, how are you?*, after all of the awkwardness. \n\nAny help would be greatly appreciated!", "summary": "I like this girl, but we don't see each other much. When we do it is just an awkward smile and I can never pluck up the courage to talk to her and I do not know what to say."} {"id": "t3_att8u", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Dear reddit, what constitutes emotional cheating? She's spending hours on the phone with her ex...", "post": "Just put it all together tonight after consulting my online cellular bills. This phone call nonsense has been going on for at least 6 months... totally behind my back.\n\nshe's spending hours on the phone with her ex, but her ex's phone number is stored as a different person's name in the cell phone.\n\nSome other info:\n* we've been engaged for a year and dating for 3.\n* few months back i found a pic of him stashed away in a strange place in the house.\n* they broke up after several years when she woke up in the same room to find him being felated by her underage cousin.\n* he lives several states away, phonecalls to him peak when she's in that same state -- presumably visiting her family.\n\nWe've had problems for about a year & no relations for 6 months, but prior to that we were the very best friends. I've done my best to ask her to discuss what her thoughts are on the condition between us. At this point I think I need to be prepared to move on. What are your thoughts?", "summary": "i caught her txting & calling the ex, but i had to snoop to do it. how does this play out?"} {"id": "t3_2z9em0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24 f] boyfriend's [27 m] laugh annoys the shit out of me.", "post": "The title is pretty self explanatory. We have been together for about 18 months now and I am damn near losing my mind. He's a great guy and easily the best person I've ever dated, but his laugh makes me want to tear my hair out. It also doesn't help that he laughs after nearly everything he or anyone else says. It's the same every time, a short but extremely loud, \"ah-huh-huh-huh.\" He literally sounds like a cartoon character. \n\nI don't want to tell him that his laugh is annoying, because you can't really control that very well and that's a hurtful thing to hear, but at the same time I am afraid I'll accidentally rage strangle him next time someone tells a joke.", "summary": "boyfriend's laugh annoys me. I love him and want to know how to bring this up/get over it."} {"id": "t3_wwf3s", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "I need help.", "post": "So I started a diet a month after the birth of my second son, two weeks after moving to (yet another) new Army base. And I was doing so good - down almost 20 lbs in 6 weeks. But lately, my husband has been working crazy hours, like he was at work yesterday from 5am to 2am, and he's not home yet today, nor do I expect him before I go to bed. This leaves me alone with a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old, from their 5am wake up to their 7:30-8:00pm bedtime, all day every day. I'm starting to make a few friends in this town, but I don't want to pester them constantly and come off like some sort of stalker girl, so I try not to call them constantly. Taking the boys out somewhere by myself is more stressful than staying home, but my house is a mess of toys no matter how often I pick them up. Also, it smells like diapers and milk, but it's too hot here in the south to even contemplate opening the windows to air it out. Tonight, lonely and stressed and sad, I binged on 1/2 a jar of peanut butter (eaten off a spoon) and a bottle of wine. Now I'm tipsy, feeling sick from all the peanut butter and sorry for myself. I hate my life, but I feel guilty for even thinking that - I have two healthy children, a husband who makes enough money that I can stay home with them, a nice house in a great suburb, friends all across the country, etc. I'm living the suburban dream; why am I so miserable? And what can I do to avoid these binges in the future?", "summary": "Life is great, but I feel miserable. Binged on peanut butter and wine. Contemplating quitting diet since apparently I suck at everything."} {"id": "t3_13e290", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by smacking the singer of a band in the face with her own mic.", "post": "So I was playing a show with a couple of other pop artists. This one artist; absolute beauty in every way. She play's the piano and from the start was having issues with her keyboard. Her sustain pedal then gave out, she finished her first song and got up and grabbed mine. \n\nKeyboard sustain pedals have a positive/negative switch. Some manufacturer's use the negative other's use the positive. If the switch is in the incorrect position the sustain switch will act opposite to how you want it to. Mine was set to positive, she needed negative but didn't realize.\n\nShe jumps back on the keyboard and starts playing. There is so much with her full band going on the piano already gets lost but from seeing her before it didn't sound right. My buddy just looks at me. I run up to the stage. I feel something tap my shoulder, and it happens again, and then I look up and we make direct eye contact. (I am already really shy to unknown people, and to make direct eye contact like that I panicked hard) While she's playing and trying to sing the entire time I keep on smacking her while trying to fix the pedal. \n\nI make the successful switch on the pedal and the show goes on. However she was so upset with how the show was going, she played a couple more songs said something to the guitarist and just got up and left.", "summary": "Singer's gear wasn't working, I tried to fix it and ended up smacking her in the mouth with her own mic."} {"id": "t3_2esn09", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend (15f) and I (15m) just started going to different high schools, and barely see each other Now we both feel like the other is disinterested. Help?", "post": "So my girlfriend and I met a couple years ago and were always pretty good friends. we started dating about two years ago, but it was very on/off for 7 months, and we took a break. We started dating again almost 9 months ago. We've been really really happy and not like most teenage relationships. We really love each other. A month ago we both started going to different high schools, and its been hard. I dont know anyone at her school, and neither does she. Shes really gorgeous, so of course she attracts lots of guys and I also get hit on a lot. It makes the other person pretty protective. Theres no real problem with that, but we havent seen each other in weeks. And I feel like she's lost interest, and she feels the same about me. We feel like over text and phone, we dont talk much anymore, or the other person doesnt seem interested. We think the other doesnt feel as excited and passionate about the relationship. I am so in love with her. I adore everything about her, and she means so much to me. I cant stand the thought of not being with her. Shes my favorite thing in the world and I havent lost any interest. Does anyone know how to fix this? I want to make our relationship feel amazing and two sided again. Any help would be very appreciated. Thanks.", "summary": "Great relationship, In love,\tDifferent schools, both of us feel like relationship is one sided, I still love her, need ideas on how to fix it"} {"id": "t3_3rxtd6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 4 months, just broke up. Is there a chance in the future?", "post": "I'm in need of advice. First off, when I go into a relationship, I give my all. I try to stay strong and don't give up on something easily.\n\nSo, I recently had a break up with my girlfriend. Her parents got divorced and she took it really hard. I reassured her that I am there for her and we could get through this in time. Despite my best efforts, she ultimately decided that she wanted to be alone right now and deal with this herself. After hearing of the divorce, she lost all feelings for me. She wasn't affectionate. Before the divorce, everything was great. \n\nWe had a lot of common interests and never had a fight or conflict. Her family and friends liked me as well. She told me that I was the best boyfriend she's had. That I treated her very well. We got to the I love you stage before all this happened. But after the break up, my mind automatically starts searching for what I did wrong. But the more I think about it, the more I feel like there's nothing I did wrong. Do you think that her feelings for me could come back over time? Do you think we could get back together after some time has passed? What to do. What to do.", "summary": "Girlfriend's parents divorced and said she wanted to deal with it alone, so she ended our relationship. Chance of getting back together in the future?"} {"id": "t3_37qw7k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Not sure if crush [24F] is being flirty after hooking up with me [32M] or is actually disinterested.", "post": "Last Friday I hooked up with a co-worker crush after going on about six \"dates.\" I say \"dates\" because they weren't officially dates, but it was always just the two of us, we went to a museum, dinner, movies, etc\u2026 \n\nAnyway, after dinner and a movie last weekend we went back to her place and hooked up, I spent the night and we both went out of town for the weekend after. When I got back we had a good playful/flirty text exchange, but then when I got to work on Tuesday it was definitely different. We would gchat a lot during the day, there was none of that (maybe just a busy week, I get it). In the middle of the week I asked her if she wanted to go get something to eat and she said she already had plans that night, but was still somewhat flirty in her responses. The next night on my way out I stopped by to talk to her and she was short. \n\nSo I figure she didn't enjoy our night together and decided to move on, or is she just setting some boundries in the office by ignoring me? I really want to ask her out again this weekend but I am so afraid she will reject me again and I don't know if can handle it. \n\nJust looking for advice and experience!", "summary": "office crush and I hooked up after half a dozen dates, now I am not sure if she is ignoring me or just keeping distance to set boundaries."} {"id": "t3_1wrjrs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I feel like my GF (20/F) is putting me (21/M) 2nd to her friends ALL the time. Am I being too selfish?", "post": "I understand that her friends should come before me, but is it wrong that I feel bad that she does it ALL the time? I feel like the only time I can see her is if I hang out with her freinds at the same time, if she can't hang out with her friends because they have nothing planned, or she is done hanging out with her friends and comes to my place at the end of the day. \n\nEvery time I ask her out, she will say, \"I'm going out with so-and-so. I'll let you know later\" but I've never heard her receive a call or text where she replies, \"With my boyfriend, so I'll let you know.\"\n\nMy feelings aren't hurt because I can understand that she wants to be with both me and her friends when she goes out, but it does bother me a little how she would rather be with her friends over being alone with me 100% of the time.", "summary": "I share my free time between my friends and my girlfriend all the time, but it seems like she doesn't do the same. Am I being selfish or over dramatic?"} {"id": "t3_3p07y6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] haven't felt an \"immediate spark\" with the guy [23M] I'm casually dating.", "post": "I'll preface this by saying it's really hard to put what I'm feeling into words, but I'm going to do my best.\n\nI recently started causally dating a guy I met on tinder. We've had 5 or 6 dates so far spread out over probably a month now (vacations put actual dates on hold for a while). He's smart, funny, incredibly kind, cute and all around the exact type of guy I'd love to be with. The first date we just talked for 3 straight hours over cold coffee. \n\nWe text every day about random things and snapchat frequently. I do genuinely enjoy spending time with him, but I'm confused about my specific feelings. \n\nSo far, we've been moving at what feels to be a glacial pace to me. We didn't kiss until our 3rd date and we've made out but haven't done anything else. Now this is my problem, I know, but usually I'm pretty quick to jump into bed (I know, I know). I really enjoy sex and have a pretty high sex drive. Taking things so slowly isn't the type of start to a relationship I'm used to. At all. Usually I feel an immediate sexual attraction and get all giddy and excited thinking about a possible relationship. \n\nNot so much this time. I'm certainly attracted to him and I'm excited to see him and talk to him. But not to the extent I usually am. And when I think about sleeping with him, I get incredibly nervous (which is very unusual for me, I'm generally very confident when it comes to bedroom activities.) \n\nI think essentially without trying to, I've sort of friend zoned him. Is that something I can undo? \nI guess my question is, is it worth it to continue to see where it could go if I'm not 100% sure (maybe like 65% sure) I like him in a romantic way?", "summary": "Casually dating a guy who I'm not completely sure I like in a romantic way yet because the relationship is moving much slower than I'm used to. Is it worth continuing?"} {"id": "t3_3dakbg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24 M] met a girl [21 F] a couple weeks ago at a work function and she seemed cool, so we went to lunch and hit it off, but she lives with her ex.", "post": "Early in June my workplace had a social event for employees, and I met a pretty girl from another department who seems like the kind of partner I'm looking for. Interested to learn more about one another, we went out to lunch recently.\n\n\u00a0\n\nAt lunch we talked about where we're from, our work, and our hobbies. We got along really well, but what struck me as odd is that she lives in an apartment with her ex-BF. I don't know any details since I didn't want to push the topic on our first meeting. But it seems like a big red flag to me.\n\n\u00a0\n\nI haven't been in a \"first-date\" scenario in a long time, and I've never encountered this situation before, nor known a friend in this situation. Do any of you have some experience to share to help me figure out if this is a relationship worth pursuing?\n\n\u00a0\n\nI'd definitely want to know how long they were together, how long ago & why they broke up, and the reason they're still living together. I'd understand a little better if they were older and more established with their job and household, when it was harder to pick up and move, but they're both young and in school. I know her family lives in town as well.\n\n\u00a0\n\nIf she doesn't care about living with her ex, my fear is that it may mean she doesn't value relationships or invest herself in them as much as I do. Then again, maybe the breakup was recent and they haven't been able to move out yet.", "summary": "Met someone I'm interested in, but it turns out she's living with an ex. Does anyone with experience in this kind of situation have advice on whether this could ever work out?"} {"id": "t3_fdzuc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Help me earn money for a new computer", "post": "So here's the story: I have a rather old computer. How old you may ask? Well, it can't support over 512mb of RAM, it's has a 40GB HDD (Updateable, I know, but still), 1.4ghz processor... yeah, it stinks. For those who don't know how bad that is, I can't even run Firefox without it freezing.\n\nSo what to do? Well, I'm not a troll as you call it, I want to **earn** for it. So I would like to know if anybody needs a website built, which I do for pretty cheap since it's a hobby. It's very difficult for me to find people that need them though, so I figured I'd ask here. Perhaps you know somebody else that does?\n\nMind you I have this situation: No clients = No money = No portfolio = Few example web sites. Thus I really have only one to show, that being \n\nAnd for those who wonder, no I don't have any friends or family that would want one to help build the portfolio. They all have no reason for one.\n\nIf you want to suggest somebody on Twitter, my username is DavidA94 which I created for this reason.\n\nBTW, I've been trying to get a real job, but being under 18, and with few places around where I live, it is difficult.\n\nPlease upvote so more will see it. Also, I apologize if this kind of thing is depreciated. I don't post much here, I mainly read.", "summary": "Need to get a new computer, if you need a web site, or know somebody that needs one, let me know. Twitter @DavidA94"} {"id": "t3_3md5xf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My parents [50M] and [48F] went through my [18M] stuff and took my condoms", "post": "I woke up this morning and searched through my drawer to discover that my condoms are missing. I know for a fact that they have to have taken them. I didn't misplace them, they were definitely in that drawer. I think my parents may intend to confront me about it or something. I have had a girlfriend for 2 months and I think they are worried she's not right for me or something. Maybe they're just not ready for the idea of me having sex.\n\nHas anyone else had a problem like this? I'm irritated that they would go through my stuff like that. I understand that this can be a difficult thing for parents, but they are way out of line. Please help me prepare a well-thought out response if they do confront me. Thanks.", "summary": "Parents went through my drawers and confiscated my condoms without my knowing. They probably intend to confront me later today. I want to know what's going through their minds and how I should react. "} {"id": "t3_4cgam5", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by falling asleep", "post": "This happened this Easter's Eve. I was at my friend's place with him, and his girlfriend. It was getting late, naturally, I started to doze off. I woke up the next morning before them, and left. Around three o' clock that day I get a call from my friend. He started the conversation with, \"Some shit went down last night\". Which confused me. All we did was get a little high, and watched Goodfellas. What shit could have possibly gone down? He then tells me that he woke up to me \"sleep peeing\" on him, and his girl. He told me that he started to get really hot in his dream, he woke up to find the heat source to be my urine. As naturally as I dozed off he punched me in the stomach thinking that would wake me up. Instead of waking up I said, \"unlock it\", for some reason only the sleep gods know of, and continued to pee. After I finished relieving myself on my friend, his girlfriend, and their bed I walked to where I had passed out, and laid down to continue sleeping. I've always slept walked, and would occasionally sleep walk into my parents room. A handful of times I ended up sleep peeing in their closet, but it hasn't happened since I was around nine years old. This is by far the most embarrassing event in my life so far. For some reason that I'll never be able to wrap my mind around my friend, and his girl weren't mad, in fact they even invited me over the night after I had defiled them in my sleep, and theirs. I didn't accept their invitation due to the fact I won't be able to look them in the eyes for a while.", "summary": "I fell asleep at my friend and his girlfriend's place and ended up sleep walking over to their bed and proceed to \"sleep pee\" on them."} {"id": "t3_27uejk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[F28] haven't heard from him[M27] , should I be worried?", "post": "We've been dating for two months, but only been on 6 dates. He's a first year resident (doctor), who works 65+ hours a week. He lives an hour and half away. I'm a busy girl, as well. Long story short, we don't get to spend that much time together.\n\n I'm okay with that; I enjoy spending time with him and look forward to it, but I'm in no rush here. He doesn't seem to be either. Physically speaking, he hasn't tried to make a move. Don't get me wrong, we have madeout a couple of times and cuddled. He's very affectionate, but we haven't had sex. Most of our dates have been outings, but he has planned most of them.\n\nWe talk quite a lot, he texts me almost everyday and calls at least once a week. \n\nThis past Sunday (which was his only day off in 12 days, he won't have another for 12 more days), he came up to visit me and we spend the whole day together. As far as I'm concerned it was a great day, he seemed to feel the same way. \n\nAfter he left, he texted me saying, \"Thanks again for a really fun, relaxing day! I would have stayed longer if I could. We'll figure out a time hangout again soon! Let me know when you've made it home safely.\" I responded saying I also had fun day, thanked him for coming to visit and I looked forward to seeing him again. We said goodnight, and I haven't heard from him since.\n\nI'm starting to worry a little, as I'm used to hearing from him everyday. Should I be worried?", "summary": "Dating a busy guy for two months, he texts me everyday. We spent the day together Sunday, haven't heard from him since."} {"id": "t3_2r6lov", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with a friend a really like [17 F] - I cannot masturbate and think about her (or any girl that I like)", "post": "Alright, it's kind of a weird question, I know. So in short, I really like this girl, she's everything you could want (attractive, musician, unbelievably friendly, dabbles in psychedelics) but she's dating my really good friend so I would never even attempt to pursue her. Anyways, she's out of my league, etc.\n\nThat's not really the issue here though. So everytime I've ever liked a girl, I've never been able to masturbate to them. All I feel is this sort of sad, longing feeling. Like I really want it but I can't have it. Here's the problem - I can't masturbate at all. This has happened before and it lasts months, which you can imagine is a huge problem. I can't think straight!", "summary": "Why can't I masturbate to girls that I like (even if they're super hot), but I have no problem thinking about other girls, even other friends?"} {"id": "t3_3tb24g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] like her [19 F] and she likes me but she thinks about breaking up with her BF for \"us\"...", "post": "Hi, I'm Dwight and I am going to college atm... I met a girl in my year (different major) at day one of year one and today (halfway year 2) she confessed she likes me, and I like her.\n\nI never had a GF (I know 19y and still?) but she is still in a relationship with her BF. She says she's unhappy in it etc...\nAnd she brought up the topic of breaking up...\n\nI'm kinda scared, I am friends with him (trough her, we game together in a clique) and I don't wanna be that dude that \"steals yo girl\"... I don't want to anger him...\n\nShould I suggest not to breakup (since I have no experience so she might be overestimating what could be) or suggest not to breakup because every relationship has up and downs so she should talk to her BF...\n\nMaybe I shouldn't just let her \"hop\" from him to me...\nSorry Reddit I'm new and kinda scared... I don't want to lose HIM but more-so don't want to lose her because I was not what she expected, her friendship is one of the biggest reasons I like college...", "summary": "She likes me, I like her, she has Bf, wants to \"hop\", don't know if I should just let her... (scared for consequences)"} {"id": "t3_39i91f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24M] girlfriend [23F] is threatening to leave me if I don't help her pay off her student loan debt.", "post": "So my girlfriend and I have been together for just shy of 7 years now. We've gotten very serious and own a home together, have just graduated post-secondary, and are looking to start our lives now. I have 0 student loan debt. My dad works at our university so I got three classes for free per year, and then my parents covered the cost of the rest. My girlfriend wasn't so lucky, and is currently sitting at roughly $45,000 in debt just after graduation.\n\nShe is threatening to break up with me if I don't help her pay it off. I think its not reasonable at all. She's basically demanding me to take on $22,500 worth of debt for no reason at all and no fault of my own. She says that at this point in the relationship we should share our finances, but isn't that kind of convenient right when she's getting huge bills? I thought our relationship was worth more than money? It feels like she's using me just to get her loan paid off.\n\nWhat do I do reddit? It feels like I'm betting on what's more valuable, $22,500 or my girlfriend, and that's not right.", "summary": "I have no student loan debt but my girlfriend has $45,000. She is threatening to leave me if I don't help pay it off."} {"id": "t3_2k23ri", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My brother[19] has an unbelievably jealous girlfriend[19] who is now his only friend.", "post": "My brother Tim (fakename) and his gf Jill (likewise) have been dating for a little over a year now and things have been steadily getting worse for them both. \n\nFirstly: they seem to be bad for each other. 1 in 4 times I hear them talking she's crying her eyes out about how he is \"always\" doing this or \"always\" doing that, arguing about past mistakes and taking things out of context. She lies about past promises he made to get her way (and he doesn't argue with her) and tries to manipulate him. I could (and can) provide tons of examples but I'm on mobile right now and can follow up later if anyone's interested.\n\nTim seems to love her very much despite all of this. He drives nearly 100 extra miles a day to bring her to and from college, (despite her having a working car) buys her food every day, and even helps her financially because she has a bad homelife and a deadbeat mom. (Who has punched him in the face, but that's another story.) I don't know if it's because she's scared of losing all of this, but she won't allow him to hang out with anyone, not even me. I called him on the phone yesterday wondering when he'd be home (we had plans) and Jill exploded all over him, demanding to know if he was going to \"ditch\" her to hang with me...\n\nSo that prompted me to come to you guys. I've got to talk to Tim about this and I don't know what to say. She's driven away every one of his friends(and is trying to drive away me), he's spending money on her that he should be spending on school stuff for himself, and he seems absolutely miserable.", "summary": "jealous gf taking his money, friends, GPA and sanity, and I don't know what to do or say."} {"id": "t3_2eeg2x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my Girlfriend [23 F] 3 Months, How can I earn her trust if she's been hurt before?", "post": "I've been dating this girl for a few months. We've taken things very slow, because every guy she's dated before has just used her for sex. \n\nOur relationship is lacking most things physical to say the least. We hug and peck-kiss goodbye, but she told me she doesn't want to make-out or have sex yet, because she's been hurt before. She says she's trying to get over this problem, and that she's in therapy for it. \n\nAlso, whenever she talks about her future plans after college, I'm not in them, which makes me feel like she doesn't think we'll last. These plans include moving to another country.", "summary": "She's been hurt before, what can I do to earn her trust? And why does she not see me in her future?"} {"id": "t3_2ey0hq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22f] am talking to someone [24f?] online and think they are crossing boundaries.", "post": "I play an online game and someone started chatting to me. I'm friendly enough so spoke to them for about 20 minutes and they asked if they could add my email address which would show them my real name etc etc. I said no, I don't giving my email address to people I don't know in real life. They said \"well if you want, you can add mine, it's my brother's email address but I use his account\" which made me start to question this a bit. Anyway they asked if they could tell me something, I said yeah sure. They said they are trans and \"came out as a woman\" (their own words) two years ago. No big deal to me really. \n\nThey told me they lost their job and their family have not been supportive. At first I had the feeling that they just wanted to talk to someone and have been quite isolated. But I have a bad/strange gut feeling about this. They asked about underwear/dresses/swimsuits because they \"don't know what to buy\". They keep mentioning Facebook and they would like to add me (again, I said I don't add people I don't know in RL on there), and that they feel very lucky to have met me and hopes we can meet some day? Which is just...ehhh...I'm not sure about this.\n\nMy boyfriend said by all means be helpful and kind with them but be wary. Admittedly I can be quite naive and too kind but like I say, my gut is telling me otherwise here. I know people online are not always who they say they are. They asked me am I interested in men or women and I said just men, they said \"oh that's too bad for me :(\" and I feel like this is kinda crossing a line? I've known this person for literally a day. \n\nWhat do you think? Would you be wary of this? I really don't care about them being trans, I'm just not comfortable with what they are saying. I don't even know them. Or am I being too cautious and this person is just lonely and wants a friend?", "summary": "spoke to someone online, they are being a bit inappropriate and I am not totally comfortable with it. Am I overreacting or should I keep this person at a distance?"} {"id": "t3_3pl7mi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with close friend [20F] who just broke up with her boyfriend", "post": "Hey all, ill try to give a bit of background info before i ask my question. In my last year of high school me and this girl got really close and were talking for about 6 months. We hung out a few times and then she went away for about 2 months in which this time period we didnt talk. She came back from her trip and about a month or so later she got together with this guy. We continued to talk but not as much and I decided to give her space at the start of this year only really talking at parties. I just saw on facebook that she broke up with her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago (theyve been together for about 2 years) and I think from friends posting motivational things on her wall, it may have been a bad break up. Now I still have feelings for her but I dont want to rush anything, but I want to see how shes going cause like I said we havent spoken. I dont want to sound like Im trying to get with her, ultimately id like to be in a relationship with her but i know thats something thats not going to happen any time soon. My real question is how do I approach this entire situation as Im pretty confused about. Any positive advice would help a lot and please now negative shit about me just wanting to get with her, I genuinely care about this girl and have for a long time. Thanks", "summary": "This girl Ive been really close with recently broke up with her boyfriend, I have feelings for her and i do care about her, im just confused about the situation. Please read above for more info"} {"id": "t3_s6coo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Fiancee found pictures of an old fling", "post": "We've (28m and her 28f) been together for over 2 years and do live together now. We are getting married before the end of the year. Prior to that, I was involved with someone in a very casual relationship. Some pictures were taken and since forgotten. While my fiancee was on the computer last night, she stumbled upon these pictures (from about a month prior to the two of us officially dating). \nThey are not that explicit (topless shots of girl). Let me also add that I had NO idea these pictures still existed. Had I known, they would have been removed years ago. There are a few problems:\n\n1-I never mentioned this past relationship with my fiancee. I know, I should have, but she has VERY strong feelings about how guys and girls cannot be friends. I disagree and consider this girl a friend, regardless of our past.\n\n2-The dates on the pictures were from after my fiancee and I met, but weren't really \"together\".\n\n3-She has lost trust in me due to my not telling her about the history between this girl and I. \n\nI do want to fix this issue. I want to make it clear that I've never cheated on her nor have I intentionally lied to her. I want to make this better and I want to get married to my fiancee. Any advice would be GREAT", "summary": "Hooked up with someone before I started dating now fiancee, forgot I had pics on my computer. She found them and is justifiably mad at me lying/cheating even though it all happened before we were official."} {"id": "t3_16vmpm", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Are Men allowed to freak out?", "post": "Just as a bit of backstory:\n\nI've been under an incredible amount of stress lately and I had a meltdown. I ended up punching a dumpster and couldn't hold back my emotions. I didn't hurt her in any physical way, but she's angry at me.\n\nThe basis for her anger is that I \"don't have good coping skills.\"\n\non average, i'd say I have 1 or 2 big \"meltdowns\" a year and the rest of the time I am totally normal and she's told me repeatedly that I am \"the most patient person she knows.\"\n\nAm I allowed to freak out? I know \"allowed\" isn't really the right word. I don't channel any anger towards her when I'm under a lot of stress. at least I don't think I do.", "summary": "Am I allowed to melt down when I'm under an undue amount of stress, or what? If you ask questions, I'll be more than happy to answer."} {"id": "t3_1k8nv3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26M] broke up with my girlfriend [32F] several weeks ago, am still fine about it but today something strange happened.", "post": "So I have been single again for some weeks now and recently made some improvements in my life that really lifted my spirits the last 2 - 3 weeks.\n\nTo clarify, I broke up with her because I didn't reciprocate the feelings she had towards me in the same way and felt it would have been dishonest to continue the relationship on that basis.\nI was actually really fine with the breakup and the few times that I thought about it I never regretted my decision.\n\nToday this strange thing happened: I was walking on the sidewalk when I saw her riding past me on her bike (without noticing me, I think) and the good mood that I had maintained for some time now seemed to just drain away and leave me feeling kind of empty. Suddenly all the (in my book) vast improvements in my life and attitude towards myself lost their shine, so to speak.\n\nIt is not like I wanted her back or anything, I am still sure breaking up was the right thing and I feel still fine with it.\n\nWhere is this coming from?", "summary": "Broke up with gf, was fine with it, turned parts of my life around for the better, seeing her again made positive changes feel meaningless."} {"id": "t3_ungbt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I Feel Like I'm A Problem...", "post": "Hello everyone, 20 (F) here and 26 (M) SO of 6 months now.\n\nI'm going to try and keep this as short as I can.. I'm sorry if it turns into a bit much heh but I could really use some outside perspective and will appreciate any input I receive.\n\n**Background:** Met my SO about 9 months ago and as corny as it sounds we clicked instantly but waited to enter a relationship. This is my 3rd serious relationship and his second.\n\n**The Problem** I feel sad or frustrated almost all the time lately.. He makes me laugh and cuddles me at night and does all those great things that make me smile but I just can't help but feel really depressed.\n\nI'm frustrated because I feel like I can't talk to him about anything. If something is bothering me I can't talk with him because 'hes not my therapist' and whenever we talk about us it turns into a conversation about him and his ex.. Its also frustrating that he lies to me about his past and won't admit it. I just honestly feel like he doesn't care or doesn't know how to deal with any emotional thing.\n\nI'm becoming visibly upset and depressed, today I cried when he left the room and I just feel so out of control. I'm adult but I feel like I'm acting like a child, I feel like I am becoming a problem and making drama.. I don't want to be a burden and I don't want to make waves.", "summary": "Feel alone while going through a hard time and can't talk to my SO. I feel like a burden and that my emotions are causing problems and making waves. Reddit, what do?"} {"id": "t3_1cbn1u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I think I (20f) was just rejected by my SO (22M)", "post": "My SO and I have been together just over a year, and known each other about 3 years. After a few failed relationships on both sides, we gave \"us\" a shot and haven't looked back.\n\nI can say with confidence that he is the love of my life. We talk through each and every issue, have common interests, love spending time together and apart, whether it be with friends or whatever else we want to do. There's never been any suspicion of cheating/dishonesty on either side.\n\nWe've also talked about our future together. Previously he was keen to move in together, have a few pets and when the time was right, get married and have kids. Our career aspirations are similar too, so our rough time estimates on everything match up perfectly. \n\nHere's the trouble: today we were walking along the beach and when we had reached the end I asked if he \"wanted to spend his future with me\". He looked at me and said \"well I'm not sure about the future, but I do like spending time with you now.\" \n\nI was crushed, Reddit. I really thought he was enthusiastic about our future, but now I'm not sure. I didn't want to push the subject further, so I said \"oh! okay.\" And let it drop. He knew there was something wrong, and tried to tell me that everything was okay. \n\nI don't want to sound crazy OAG, but how can I explain that I thought we had something serious going on? Is this his way of saying that he's no longer interested? Am I just overreacting?", "summary": "boyfriend rejects the idea of a future even though we discussed it previously. How do I talk to him about it/is it even worth talking about?"} {"id": "t3_3ixycu", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU - by leaving poop on the toilet seat [NSFW]", "post": "Obligatory, this happened many, many years ago. \n\nI was young (8-10), and we had a small party at our house. 2 families (plus mine), 6 adults, and 7 kids. It was the middle of the afternoon, when I felt a #2 coming on. I knew I had to go to the bathroom THAT instant. So I ran to the bathroom, and barely got my underwear down before I started pooping. Somehow (don't ask how) in my rush to poop I had missed the bowl, and shat on the back edge of the seat. \n\nAfter I was done, I didn't know how to deal with the poop on the seat. I decided I would try to track down my mom to explain my predicament. Well, being the distracted young person, as soon as I left the bathroom I got caught up watching TV.\n\nA good 10-20 minutes later a boy came running out of the bathroom frantically searching for his mom. He said he didn't know who did it, but there was poop all over the back of the toilet seat. His mom scolded him, and told him not to lie about it. She said that it was perfectly okay, accidents happen. So his mom got my mom, and they cleaned the toilet together. They obviously thought he was lying, but cleaned it up anyways. He was made fun of for the rest of the party by the other kids. I kept my mouth shut in order to avoid embarassment, and haven't told a soul until now. To this day his mom still brings up the poop incident, and how weird it was he wouldn't admit it was him. (He still denies it)", "summary": "I pooped on the toilet seat and forgot to clean it up. Friend staying over got blamed and ridiculed for it instead, and his mom still judges him for it to this day."} {"id": "t3_z8u4x", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17/M] Never made out before?", "post": "Hey guys, I'm 17 and I've never made out before. It sounds weird, it's just never occured lol. I'm not a prude or anything, but I was single freshman year, sophomore year my gf and I just never made out. Well I have another girlfriend, and I just get self-conscious because the longer I wait the longer I push it off, since I have no experience in it lol.\n\nSo can someone give me a pretty detailed idea of it? I just really don't want to fuck up, and then my GF tells someone, or isn't satisfied and we break up.\n\nIf you're going to be an asshole please leave, even though this is Reddit.", "summary": "17, never made out, i have a gf, i've done lots of things besides make out, can someone tell me a detailed idea on how to not fuck up, and how to make out properly?"} {"id": "t3_4nxdld", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by wanting to play football.", "post": "So this morning my friend calls me saying that he wants to play some football (soccer), I agree and get ready to meet up with him. The thing is he brings his group of friends with him. We are walking to the pitch, and we come up to where we get into the pitch. It's beside a green fence thing with a pointy fucking top. I felt the need to kind of show off so I ran up this small but steep mound of dirt. But I fucking slip backwards and put the top of one of the spikes through my fucking hand. \nAnyway I run home and show my mom ( I'm 17 and live at home), she rushes me to the practitions nearby and she said it might need stichtes so we go to my doctor, but he's on holiday so instead we wait for this bitchy doctor. She immideatly start poking the cut pulling it inside out and shit. After half an hour of poking she says that she can't do anything and I'll have to go to A&E. So we rush to A&E only to wait three fucking hours for one motherfucking stitch.", "summary": "I go out to play football slip cut my hand on a fence and am sitting here after five hours of running around with one stitch in my hand."} {"id": "t3_1knllj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 F] am starting to develop feelings for a friend [21], even though I have a boyfriend [21] of almost two years.", "post": "I'm entering my second year of college, and this will mark the second year of being relatively long distance from my boyfriend, which I think complicates the issue. Last year, I went to a party with a friend, and was introduced to all his friends. I quickly became a part of their \"group,\" and was informed early on by these friends that one of the guys liked me a lot. I made it clear to him that I had a boyfriend, and he's made no efforts to flirt or anything since then. In the meantime, we've become very good friends. We talk almost daily, and I love spending time with him. \n\nRecently, however, I've found myself being attracted to him, and I fantasize about being able to touch him, not even in a sexual way, but just to be close and cuddle, if you will. I need to be clear that I do not want to and will not ever cheat. But these feelings are growing stronger, and it's not as simple as cutting him out of my life, not just because we share many mutual friends, but also because I genuinely appreciate him as a friend. Sometimes I find myself thinking \"well, if your current relationship fails, then you can give it a go with him and see what it's like.\" I don't know how to process these feelings, and it's unfair to everyone involved. Advice, please?", "summary": "I've developed feelings for a friend who used to (and may still) have a crush on me, but I have a boyfriend."} {"id": "t3_4mlxk7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend's (21M) friends (22M) and parents (46F/M) think I'm too quiet and hard to get to know", "post": "So, at separate times, both my bf's parents and friends have said that I don't talk much and that they don't know much about me. I've been dating my bf for four years and thought that I had a pretty good relationship with them all. I wouldn't say I'm super close to his friends/parents but I'm comfortable with them and enjoy seeing/hanging out with them. \n\nI think one problem is that I'm never around. My bf and I live apart while we finish school. When we're both in our hometown, he usually comes to my place. His friends live in different college towns and are rarely down as well. I went to his parents house for the first time in two months last week, and I thought everything was fine. We didn't get in until late so we only talked about an hour, but I was comfortable. I haven't seen his friends in months, either. It doesn't bother me because when they're all down I'm either at my apartment sixty miles away or I'm in town but giving them brotime, as they never see each other. I never thought this was an issue as they're his friends/parents and I typically just kinda tag along. I enjoy their company, but we definitely only meet/talk with my bf around. \n\nI'm also naturally pretty quiet and not good socially. I don't care to talk about myself too much, but if someone asks I'll definitely answer. I don't open up and talk a lot to people I don't know that well, so it takes a while to get to know me. My very close friends have said the same thing, that it took a little while for me to warm up and talk. I get that initially I may have been hard to hold a conversation with, but it's been four years! I've gotten very comfortable with his friends/parents and don't think I can be considered too demure/shy/whatever anymore. I certainly didn't think I was. \n\nSo, how do I solve this? I don't want to be hard to get to know! I'm feeling kind of hurt about this and am not sure how to proceed.", "summary": "my bf's friends and parents find me too quiet and hard to get to know. I don't want that but am not sure how to fix it."} {"id": "t3_1acoup", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Don't be a bitch on the dancefloor.", "post": "This was quite a few years ago now, a friend and I were going out dancing one night to a club that is always *very* crowded on the weekends. This happened to be a Friday night.\n\nNow the dancefloor at this club was a very small, and had a railing around it to contain the unruly dancers. Now my friend and I get out on the crowded dance floor, and are having a good time everyone is bumping into each other because, well, it's crowded. WELL, apparently one girl thought that she deserved to have her own personal bubble out on this dancefloor, so she began elbowing my friend and I, being very rude and glaring at us. THEN she starts saying things like \"Move over bitches!\", \"Move the fuck out of my way\"... etc\n\nAnyways we just looked at her and was like \"Ummm, *NO*\" SO THEN, she starts sucking her drink into her straw and spitting it on my friend, and eating chunks of ice and spitting them at us. *OH NO SHE DID NOT JUST SPIT HER NASTY ASS MOUTH GERMS ON ME!* \n\nSo for my revenge? I walked right over to the giant ass bouncer with her eyes locked on mine I pointed right at her and told the bouncer what she was doing. He walked right through the crowd and grabbed that bitch by the arm and walked her on out of the club while me and my friend laughed and waved at her.", "summary": "Bitch thinks she owns the dancefloor and spits her drink on me? Not likely, enjoy your friday night elsewhere."} {"id": "t3_18uryv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How could I (24m) break up with her (23f) in the most harmless way (2 years in) ?", "post": "We've been dating for 2 years and were deeply in love at first. We got closer really quickly and long story short, she knows all my friends, my parents and extended family, texts my mom every now and then just to have a laugh, etc. (we don't live together though). Problem is, I don't think I love her anymore. I guess feelings can (and did) fade away eventually. But now the problem is bi-dimensional: first off, we've been saying \u00ab I love you \u00bb and stuff like that on a very regular basis. If I don't say it regularly she'd ask why, and then I wouldn't have much to explain except that I don't mean it anymore, and she would probably feel devastated. What's wrong with that, right? It's a breakup after all, even if I would have a hard time justifying the \u00ab I love you \u00bb of the past months (I'll take any tip), and neither her, nor my mom, or my friends, would understand at first? But the other dimension of the problem is that she's going through rough times at the moment (not exactly her, but her sister is in a deep depression and her father just got fired), and even if I don't feel any passion anymore, I would never ever want her to be sad, feel hurt, or anything like that. How can I be true to her, in saying that I don't see a future for us, as well as making it as easy as possible for her to go through that? Should I wait for better times? How long until better times?", "summary": "I don't love her anymore after 2 years; she's going through a hard time with her family, and I don't want to hurt her. How should I proceed?"} {"id": "t3_1cynk0", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Class 1 Misdemeanor trespassing in VA for entering a building under construction to take pictures, photographic defense against?", "post": "Hey there, I'm a college kid in DC with an interest in photography. A few weeks back, I entered an unfinished 35 story building with a friend to take pictures of the view. \n\nWe were walking in the city with our cameras and I found a wide open entrance to the building site (completely illuminated at 12:30 am). We were under the influence of no alcohol or drugs, we didn't take anything (besides pictures) and we didn't leave anything. There were no posted trespassing signs, no security guards and no cameras. \n\nI stupidly published a blog with pictures from the evening and a sensationalized account of the evening. The company head of security found it and has brought us up on VA 18.2-119 for trespassing. \n\nThe writing of the law on the warrant states that a person is prohibited from entering a site based on posted signage by an authorized individual forbidding such actions. Fortunately, I took pictures before the incident and three days after (when we were contacted about the incident). The pictures clearly show a wide opening and no posted signs at the end of a busy metro stop. Three days later, there is a large additional fence blocking the entrance, caution tape covering the entrance to the building and an \"Authorized Personel Only\" sign. I can timestamp these photos.", "summary": "While I know our actions were not completely blameless, could I motion for the charges to be dismissed since I have specific photographic evidence that refutes their charge that we disobeyed posted signs?****"} {"id": "t3_3ozmrx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me(24F) with my boyfriend(25M), of almost a year, his birthday party is coming up and I'm anxious.", "post": "Hello, been lurking for a while so thought I'd come to you guys for this little issue, it's minor but it means a lot to me.\n\nMy boyfriend is having a big birthday party in two weeks, it's the halloween weekend and we live in a country in europe that isn't really into halloween at all. He thought that it would be funny if people wanted to dress up a little, but he hasn't really told anyone yet. He did tell one of his female friends though, one who dresses very provocatively. I've told him that I'm not really comfortable with the whole costume thing. I don't particularly like how I look and I've always struggled with it, been bullied for all of my school years really. I also told him that of course I wouldn't tell him to change it, if that's what he wants. It's his birthday and he should have it exactly as he wants. He said ok and that we might talk about it later.\n\nI then found out that his female friend has bought a costume and now I'm guessing it's a thing. So my question is, how do I deal with this? I can't get myself to tell him that I'm really not ok with it and that I don't want to be there. I need some advice about some tips for not feeling so anxious(I have anxiety aswell as body-image issues) at the party or some way for me to tell him so he really understands how uncomfortable I am about it. Normally we have no problem about openness in our relationship, but this is a really touchy subject for me and I'm kinda scared. Please help, and thank you in advance :)", "summary": "How do I deal with my anxiety over my boyfriends borthday party, where a provocatively dressed girl will be??"} {"id": "t3_vycmx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the most \"faith restored in humanity\" act you've seen at work or anywhere?", "post": "I was at the Cheesecake Factory around Thanksgiving a few years ago, and a family of what 7 sat next to us. They arrived before us, and they were about finished and had gotten the bill. The waiter came back and said their credit card got rejected, and the what I figured was the father and mother, tried to get enough cash to pay, but they couldn't. Then a man walked up and gave 2 $20s to them and walked away. That still wouldn't complete the cost. Then one by one, random people(including my family) near them gave a $10, $20, etc. till there was enough for them to give the waiter a $25 tip. I know this was probably because of the giving spirit, but it was still nice to see this.", "summary": "Saw random patrons at a restaurant help pay for a big family's entire meal, and made it able to tip the waiter $25."} {"id": "t3_1zyp7d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] having communication issues with my gf [28F]", "post": "Hi,\nI was looking to get some opinions on an ongoing issue I have with my GF. I feel like she doesn't communicate openly and regularly, often keeping issues burning away inside until one day they explode into the open. E.g she felt I wasn't taking the initiative in organising enough outings, she never said a word about the issue until this current explosion happened. I've accepted that and promised to be more proactive in the future. However...\n\nI've raised this issue with her, and asked her to be more forthcoming if she has any problems; and talk about them before it overwhelms her. Her response however, took me aback. She claims that she is telling me all that she feels comfortable talking about, and anything else she feels uncomfortable talking about. In short, she says she cannot communicate any more than she already is. I think that's completely unreasonable, and that as a partner in this relationship, my request isn't too much to ask. Am I being unfair?", "summary": "I feel GF isn't being forthcoming and communicating enough. GF says she doesn't feel comfortable and cannot communicate any more than she already is."} {"id": "t3_1yx4ib", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "This is about my brother. What should my parents/family do?", "post": "I'm his 18 year old sister (living at home). He is 23 and has many issues and my parents have no idea how to help him. He failed out of college his freshman year and is addicted to oxycodone and uses cocaine and many similar drugs. He can't afford to live anywhere and keeps losing part time jobs, etc. He surrounds himself by the worst possible people to get better. He goes through phases where he tries to get help and my parents will do whatever they can but it keeps costing them a ton of money (therapy that he stopped going to--paying off his car payments, etc). He's been arrested a few times-all drug related and just ended up in the hospital for stomach pains (from drug use). He is currently living at home and any advice on dealing with people who do this would be so helpful. Thank you.", "summary": "Drug using 23 yr old brother is doing nothing with life and costing my parents so much money, what can they do?"} {"id": "t3_1t0g2i", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Me [25/m] in long distance relationship with [24/f] who suffers from mood swings/depression. Need help with support/advice on what to do. I feel like my frustration with her is starting to show.", "post": "I don't really know how to go about asking for help. I work at a school in a different state than my long distance (on again, off again) girlfriend. We've dated two different times in the past, since high school, and as long as I can remember, she's had pretty intense mood swings. There are times that she is happy, impossibly happy, and then others where she is unbearably sad. I'm patient, but I wasn't always. I can assure you that it was one of the reasons we broke up when we first dated in high school. But I've begun to understand that these things are beyond her control, and I get that.\n\nInevitably, after a week or so of her being in a great mood, she'll call and talk about how awful her day was, how shitty she feels, and cries. And I mean sobbing. Often, she just feels sad, usually for no reason (her words). I've listened and been patient, said that it's okay, that everything will be fine.\n\nOccasionally we'll come to the topic of \"what do we do?\" As in, how can we make things better. I don't have any answers besides \"talk to someone.\" Specifically, a counselor of some kind. I say this because I've seen a counselor regularly, about once every three or four weeks, and while things are often tough, I've been able to get past those moments and work on things. Now, I know this isn't a band-aid, and that it isn't a guarantee that it'll work for her, but I'm confident that at least trying to figure something out can lead to another solution (if the counselor option ends up not working.) Sort of like a reference or start point.\n\nThe point is, what can I do to support my girlfriend and work on trying to find a coping mechanism? It gets frustrating when I can't provide an answer, especially when she asks me straight away. She can totally tell, too.", "summary": "Long distance girlfriend suffers from mood swings/depression, at a loss when it comes to support. Asking for advice of any kind."} {"id": "t3_13437h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My wife (23f) and I (23m), are headed down the path of divorce and I dont know how to stop it.", "post": "My wife and I have been together since we were in 8th grade, moved out, went to college, and just celebrated our 2nd year of being married.\n\nHowever, when the good times are good, the bad times are equally as bad or worse. Things began a downward spiral when she thought I cheated on her with a female friend of mine and I didnt, but is the type of person that once you break her trust, she cannot trust you again. \n\nSince then we have fought about when we should be engaged, married, buying a house, and moving back home. All of these things have led to us being completely distanced from each other and now, I struggle to even hold a conversation or spend time with her. \n\nTo make matters worse I feel like I have been changing in my early 20s and dont know what I want out of life anymore while she still wants the house, kids, and a dog.\n\nI am at a loss and dont know what to do. I dont feel like we can fix things and even if we could we dont see eye to eye on key issues anymore. I feel like staying together deprives us of being happy, but seperating after being so pivotal in each others pasts is too painful to consider. She thinks Im selfish for not telling her until now and I need help to ensure we both arent wasting effort at a marriage that wont work. Reddit, I turn to you for the honest truth...Please.", "summary": "My wife and I cant see eye to eye anymore, enjoy each others company, and our marriage is headed toward divorce."} {"id": "t3_3g0eur", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "my GF [22F] Broke up with me [21M] recently and we have a holiday booked. Should I hold out?", "post": "Hi relationship advice! I'm struggling lately, this was the girl of my dreams, we went to school together, then we mmet up a few years later and we hit it off. we had been together for only 7 months. But she was the love of my life. I was (am) so sure...She is having some rough patches maybe? She broke up with me 3 weeks ago, after a month of being off with me. The excuse was that we needed space? I don't think we did, we never argued and always had a good time. \n\nIt has been a struggle, I have not been speaking to her and I don't have her on facebook. the only struggle I have is that she is going out lots and ive seen her in pictures with guys, and it just breaks my heart :(. We have a holiday booked abroad in September, and it has all been paid for (no refunds). DO females come around? She says she loves me, so does that mean she will be back? When am I suppoed to talk to her again. This heartache and depression is eating me from the inside, and since I have been cheated on in the past, I am only assuming the worst and that somebody else could be on the scene?", "summary": "GF broke up with me, Don't know if she will be back or not? We have a holiday booked, should I be expecting her to come? Or should I just not go atal/go on my own?"} {"id": "t3_k678k", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can I take HMRC to court for being late processing my return?", "post": "It seems completely unreasonable to me that if I pay my VAT bill 12 hours late, I am fined almost 100% of the figure for doing so, yet I have just got my tax bill from 2009/10 (it was 40p!), nearly a year late and somehow it's OK for HMRC to just write a limp apology letter.\n\nThe timeliness and administrative discipline imposed on me through harsh financial penalties (we're a small business) should surely be reflected on those that impose it and we should all work to the same standards and regulations.\n\nSo can I take legal action against HMRC for their latency in processing my taxes? I'm pretty used to court action from a parking fine hobby I used to have and I have also successfully taken 2 clients to court for non/late payment without any legal support for any of it.\n\nThough this time, I think I need some support if it's possible.\n\nThanks :)", "summary": "If I'm late with paperwork or payments, HMRC fine me, so can I sue them when they're late processing their paperwork for me?"} {"id": "t3_o8301", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Some asshole in my battalion in JROTC stole my expensive calculator. This isn't okay.", "post": "I took a physics test the morning of a field trip, so I needed my calculator. I didn't want to carry it around all day, so I thought it would be safe in the ROTC building. I was wrong. The person who took it left all my other papers and pencils, but they took my $130 calculator. What am I supposed to do now? My high school is having finals next week. I can barely get a good grade in calculus and physics WITH a calculator. That is not so much of a concern, but these people who I'm supposed to trust took something that wasn't theirs. My fellow cadets are supposed to be the most responsible students in the school and set an example for others. It was probably stupid of me to trust teenagers, but these are the people I see everyday and one day will be serving in the military. Do you want the kind of people who cheat and steal in charge of thousands of dollars of equipment defending your country? This is ridiculous. Sorry, but this REALLY pissed me off. Was I right to think I could trust the members of my battalion?", "summary": "fellow ROTC cadet stole my stuff, really pissed me off because we're supposed to trust each other and set example for others."} {"id": "t3_3w0zf5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my friend [21 F] for 5 months, realized after surgery that our friendship may not be so great after all..", "post": "This is my first time posting on reddit, so bear with me!\n\nI moved to the Northeast in August for a post-grad program that has a small class size. I became closer to a certain group of girls, I think mostly because we have similar personalities and live close to each other. I became particularly close to one girl, we'll call her Monica.\n\nRecently I had to go to the ER and underwent emergency surgery, and I let my friends know through group text. Everyone seemed supportive and let me know that if there was anything I needed, they would be there for me. Monica was interviewing out of town the day I was in the ER, but she texted me after I had my surgery and was also supportive. The last text I sent out through the group chat was letting my friends know that I had been discharged. \n\nIt's been four days since I was in the hospital and no one, including Monica, has texted to ask how I'm doing or visited me. Maybe they thought the surgery wasn't a big deal? I don't really use text too often outside of making plans with Monica and the others when we go out each week (it's actually mostly me, Monica, and another friend in our group who go out), but I'm surprised that not even Monica has asked me how I've been doing.\n\nMy roommate, who is also in our program, asked me if anyone has visited me yet, and I told her that no one has. She felt disappointed for me, and she was surprised that even Monica, who she thought was closest to me, hasn't even texted me since I was discharged.\n\nI understand that since we have two tests (today and tomorrow) this week they may be busy, but I still feel disappointed that none of them have bothered to ask how I am since I've been discharged. Maybe they'll text me or visit after tomorrow?\n\nMaybe I should start becoming someone who texts a lot? But we see each other every day...lol. \n\nMaybe I'm just looking to express my feelings about this, and I've realized that I should definitely make more friends outside of the program.", "summary": "Had surgery, realized I was not as close to a friend as I thought, and now realize I should make more friends outside of my program."} {"id": "t3_2hehk3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Relationship] me (24m) want to get back in touch with (f24) haven't talked in a year", "post": "So i worked with this girl for quite a while that I fell for hard and thought she showed interest in me as well. we haven't talked for a year when she told me she likes to keep her circle of friends small. We're somewhat complete opposites but thats why I like her. I just want send her a message and talk to her again but don't know how to go about it. I pass by her but can't bring myself to at least say hi because I felt like that would be shot down. I just need a little advice about my situation and would like to hopefully talk with her again", "summary": "still have crush on girl I worked with, and haven't spoke in a year. Want to talk and hopefully get back with her"} {"id": "t3_4nxev7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf [25F] of 7 years and I [27M] have lost our sexual intimacy due to a medical condition she has. I feel unwanted and unloved.", "post": "I can count on my two hands the number of times in the past two or three years that my girlfriend and I have shared any kind of sexual intimacy and it is making me question our relationship.\n\nPIV sex can be extremely painful for her, like an intense burning sensation that can last for an hour after sex, due to a symptom of her endometriosis. \n\nBecause of this I feel selfish when I initiate sex and she understandably very rarely initiates. When she does initiate sex I can see her building herself up to it like she is going to jump into the cold sea. I appreciate the effort she makes when she does initiate but I know that she doesn't really want to be having sex with me. She honestly seems scared of sex now and she has said that sex isn't worth it for her because of the pain.\n\nWe have spoken many times about the need for more intimacy but despite that we rarely kiss, we almost never kiss passionately outside of sex, and we almost never have oral sex or any sexual contact using our hands.\n\nI tried to discuss this with her recently as we haven't had any sexual contact in 3 months but when we discuss sex she retreats into herself and becomes quiet until the conversation moves on. \n\nShe has said before that she blames herself for our problems because of her medical condition. I always tell her that of course it isn't her fault but I just can't understand why we don't have any sexual contact now. I know PIV sex is pretty much off limits but we have no physical intimacy at all now. To me love and a physical connection are intrinsically linked so this is really making me question our relationship.\n\nWe are probably getting to the point in our relationship where we decide whether we will be with each other for good and even though I love her more than anything else I can't imagine feeling physically unwanted and unloved for a lifetime.\n\nAt the moment, and for quite a long time, I have felt more like we are close friends who share chaste kisses than partners who will spend our lives together.", "summary": "Girlfriend has a medical condition that makes PIV sex extremely painful for her. We now have almost no sexual intimacy of any kind. I feel unwanted and sometimes unloved because of this."} {"id": "t3_r4k30", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I need new friends. I have no idea how to make new ones, please help.", "post": "I have friends and they are not bad but they are not people I feel connected to on a deeper level of beliefs and aspirations. I want friends who are competent in the way they communicate and carry themselves but still have a sense of madness and eccentricity that leads them to pursue unusual ideas and practices. I don't care what it is, just that they have a passion and taste for exploring and experimenting with life. \n\nNeedless to say, my current friends aren't like this. I hang out with them less than I had been lately, but that doesn't mean I'm progressing toward the person I want to be or the lifestyle I want to have. I know I need new friends, new minds to learn from and bounce ideas off of in order to do this. I am pretty introverted and don't know where to look or how to connect even if I was in the right place. I'm talking about friendship on a strong intelligent and experimental foundation, not just another bro to bro out with. \n\nAnybody got experience or suggestions, I'd really appreciate it.", "summary": "I need new friends, old ones not satisfying. Like to make acquaintance on a intelligent and experimental level. I want to enter into a circle of some really interesting people."} {"id": "t3_2flmor", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] and my boyfriend [31M] of 7 years - how to get him to be more dominating and more adventurous in bed?", "post": "So here's a bit of background:\n\nWe started dating when I was 17 and he was my first boyfriend. We didn't have sex for the first year we were together because I wanted to know that wasn't all he was interested in and because I have always had problems trusting people and didn't want to be THAT vulnerable(at least not yet). When it did finally happen it was waaaay better than I could have anticipated and it happened ALOT. I was never bothered by the fact that he had a lot more experience, I was actually looking forward to him showing me what he knows.\n\nBUT...now it doesn't happen as often as I would like or with as much variety. I have to initiate sex 7/10 times and even when I do there is no foreplay, no real enthusiasm, no variety. It is good and we both get off but I want him to be more dominant and change it up every now and then. I have asked him about his fantasies in order to spark a bit of enthusiasm but he just says he doesn't have any. I know he has a foot fetish but that has never really come into play during sex(don't understand why not). I know he is into kinkier and more adventurous things(which I would love to try) but I don't know how to make it happen. I have brought it up on multiple occasions and he'll make more of an effort the next time or two but quickly falls back into his old ways. I told him a few things I would like to try but he has not acted on any of them. I am starting to give up on improving our sex life but I can't help by want more. I don't understand why he is holding back and being so reserved. Somebody please help me, how can I get him to be more dominant and adventurous in bed? \n\n Otherwise, I would say we have a really good relationship with the usual ups and downs but nothing out of the ordinary or that we haven't overcome.", "summary": "Our sex life has plateaued over the years and I need advice on how to get him to be more dominant and kinky in bed. Or at least some perspective on why he would possible hold back his fantasies and fetishes."} {"id": "t3_2pgkg7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 F] with my boyfriend [35 M] 9 Months, not sure if this in my issue or if I'm being unreasonable", "post": "So, we met through mutual friends. We are pretty different in personality. I take things too seriously, he takes things as they come. \n\nI have always had this idea in my head of what I wanted my life to be like, good job, nice place.. the ability and money to do nice things on the weekend (things that don't have to involve going to parties all the time) and go away for weekends. \n\nThe age gap doesn't bother me really, but when I think about being 32 and him being 40 without the possibility of a good job, that bothers me. He is currently working in a touring company that pays minimum wage and doesn't operate over the winter. Which means he goes on the dole for the winter (social welfare for the 'mericans). \n\nHe is also involved in a community arts project, which is great and I like his determination in creating this studio. \n\nWe have fun when we are together, but when we are not these thoughts enter my head on a regular basis. He seems to have this disdain for anything \"mainstream\", meaning if a lot of people like it he will almost go out of his way not to. This can be applied to clothes, music, movies, exercise, diet anything. \n\nNow he is not unfit, or overweight, but he doesn't take care of his skin or house. His house is disgusting!! Food on the floor. At 35 I think this should be a red flag. \n\nI do like him, and I feel like his sillyness makes me a little less serious. Which is good. But we have been fighting more recently about making an effort to spend time together, and have had 2 conversations about maybe breaking up. \n\nI'm not sure what to do really. I enjoy being with him, but I'm not sure if these things that bother me are something I need to work on not caring so much about, or if they are a deal-breaker. \n\nSomeone else's advice would be helpful.", "summary": "Not sure if my perceptions of goals in life are unreasonable and I need to change, or if they are important and are deal breakers."} {"id": "t3_4dkw1g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] is stuck in a love triangle with two of my best friends.", "post": "I'm sorry if I screw up formatting or anything because this is my second post in reddit ever.\n\nSo my two best friends are Bear[M] and Jet[F]. We all live in the same university. Bear and I have been really good friends for three years now. We became friends with Jet three months back. I developed feelings for her a while back. I tend to be stupid and go all in usually when i like someone. I've been trying really hard to be logical about this and i asked her out politely making sure that she could say no and not affect the relationship between both of us.\n\nSo a lot of people like the way Bear looks and a lot of my female friends occasionally flirt with him. Jet used to do the same too but yesterday she admitted to me about having feelings for him. What i want to do is not still have feeling for her and react to how i would to this if i didnt have feelings for her. Jet and i spend most of each day with each other. She's been a really good friend.\n\nI dont know if Bear knows whats happening. I think he does. I havent told any of my friends about how i feel about this. The last time i did tell them when i had a crush on someone, they kinda made it harder for me to get over it and it got really difficult for me. He knows Jet likes him. But i dont think he feels anything. I dont want that to give me hope. I can't stop it either.\n\nI don't know what to do. I have enough to deal with already with all of my academics going to shit because of my degrading mental health over the last couple of years. I'm just finally figuring out how to deal with depression and i think its working finally. I can't get outside of my own head and think this through. Can someone just talk to me about this,please?", "summary": "me [M] -> jet[F] -> Bear[m] is the chain of affection. i want to be mature about this since she clearly does not feel that way about me. its hard. need someone to talk to me"} {"id": "t3_1fqmfu", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[23/m] in a 4y relationship with [35/f] with husband and 2 kids", "post": "It's almost 4 years now, we met when I was 19 and SO 30. \n\nWe were close friends for a year, I got to know her kids(she's an amazing parent) also got to know her husband. He is verbally abusive, also had her caged at home for like first 5 years of marriage. He's extremely catholic and conservative and she will divorce him regardless of me being with her or not, but she needs to have a stable job before doing so. \n\nI absolutely love her company, never had anyone with whom I felt so comfortable around, we share hobbies, I mean, we read same books, game together, sometimes work together. We spend 2-3 evenings a week together. \n\nHowever, I'm really afraid, that jumping in this relationship after divorce will destroy everything and leave her in a situation worse than now. It's all going great now, she recently got a decent full time job, kids love me but still, I am absolutely terrified of potential consequences of the duties overwhelming me, mid-life crisis of chasing girls, starting to see the age difference, etc - I have huge doubts.", "summary": "I'm a 23yo lover/partner of a *wonderful* 35yo that has a husband and 2 kids trying to divorce, and I don't know what to do. "} {"id": "t3_40ixry", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by setting the fire alarm off in the library on the first day of the semester", "post": "Today I was trying to find my Calculus Room, but for some reason my class is in the same building as the library instead of the math building. I'm not familiar with this building even though I've been here for 3 years. Anyway I look at the map and my room is connected to a hallway that I cannot get to from the main entrance. I have to go into the library up to the second floor. Then cross the entire second floor go back down to the first floor and my room is on the end of that hallway. Well I go into the library got to the second floor and get to the staircase that I think is the one I need to go down. I see a sign in the door that says push hard. What I didn't see until after I opened the door was the fine print that said \"Alarm will sound when opened.\" The alarm went off and I just acted like I was looking at books, the strange thing though was that nobody not even the staff did anything when the alarm went off. So after 10 minutes of pretending to find I book I left and went back to the first floor main hallway. Only to find the room I am looking for was attached to the main hallway the entire time.", "summary": "couldn't find my class, thought I was taking the right path only to set off the fire alarm. But nobody cared that the alarm went off and I found my class room"} {"id": "t3_ho1wl", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Going to court for following a speeding cop, any advice?", "post": "Here's the story: I got onto the highway and there was nothing but the open road in front of me, two lanes with a barrier separating the oncoming traffic. A police officer pulled onto the highway in front of me so I made sure I was going 65mph and kept going, but noticed that the cop's vehicle was accelarating way faster than me. He didn't have any lights on, so I [stupidly?] decided to test my luck and go the same speed as the police officer. Neither his lights nor siren were on. He was in the right lane and I was in the left lane about 40 feet behind him, going the same speed. After a minute, the police officer slams on his brakes, gets behind me and pulls me over. \n\nI pulled over immediately and had all my papers ready, addressing him as \"sir\" and being as cordial as I know how. He asked why I was clocking him and I said that I was just going with traffic. He told me that the reason he was speeding was because he was trying to get into my lane so he could make a left turn at the upcoming stoplight. I asked, \"If you wanted to switch lanes, why wasn't your turn signal on?\" I wasn't trying to be disrespectful, but I thought it was a valid question and his answer might be useful if I had to go to court. \n\nAt that point he just asked me to step out of the car. I asked if I was under arrest and he just walked back to his car. He began talking about taking me to jail if I didn't sign the ticket, even though I told him I was going to sign the ticket, I just first wanted to know why I was being asked out of my car when I was cooperating the whole time. He never answered why he had me get out of my car, I signed my ticket, and my court date is in a couple days. Is there anything I can do? If I could charge him with speeding I would; him speeding was an obvious abuse of power, and what can citizens do about small but principally important abuses of power but somehow draw attention to it?", "summary": "Followed 40 feet behind a speeding cop on an empty road who didn't have lights or siren on and got a ticket for it. Is there anything I can do? How can this possibly be legal?"} {"id": "t3_36fv25", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How should I (19f Jewish) handle a guy(30s m) at rehab's admission of anti-Semitism? X-post /r/Judaism", "post": "Hi. I need some advice. I am Jewish by birth and as my ethnic identity. I am currently at rehab. In my small group (a group of ten patients and a couple counselors that meets consistently throughout treatment), we were asked to admit things about ourselves. A guy admitted he was a high ranking member of the KKK 2 years ago. He walked away because when his family found out they were upset. He made this admission under the assumption that he had a room full of white Christians as an audience. I didn't say anything today because I wanted to collect my thoughts. I want to put a face to the group he perpetuated bigotry and ignorance against. I want every time he looks at me for him to be reminded that we are people. Could any of you please advise me on confronting an admitted anti-Semite? I feel obligated to say something, I'm the only Jew here. And everyone else in the group was all reassuring him about it. No! That behavior is not okay and someone needs to tell him how that type of ignorance is dangerous and nearly wiped us out. He is in his 30s so it's not like we're talking about a misled adolescent who has repented.", "summary": "I'm Jewish and need to call out an anti-Semite at rehab. Do you have any advice about confronting racists maturely?"} {"id": "t3_22x9v0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [20 M] am finally seeing some success with women, but don't know what to do with it.", "post": "First, I just want to say that I'm not secretly bragging, here. I've been working hard to improve myself for the past year in terms of dating. I've been working out, dressing better, and I've been putting myself out there enough that I've become a lot less awkward socially as I've gained more experience. \n\nBecause I was so crappy with women before, I followed the typical pick up artist advice of just hitting on every hot girl I met. The rationale is that most of these women are going to flake out or say no to you, but the ones who like you will say yes. So if you ask out 10-15 women you think are cute, you'll find one or two that think you're great as well and you can just go from there. \n\nLately though, I've been hearing a lot more yes than no. And I don't know what the hell do to. All these women want different things from me, and I'm not sure which route to pick. Some women just want to hook up, some want to date.I'm afraid if I don't hook up with these women, I'll regret it and miss my chance. But is it really ethical to hook up with multiple women in a short period? How would I know if I were spreading STDs? Even if I'm safe, I'll never be sure. Then I'm also afraid that I'll miss out on someone great in a real relationship because I'm too busy having shallow flings.", "summary": "Should I go for short term flings in college while I still have the chance or should I keep my focus and try to find someone worthwhile?"} {"id": "t3_50r42q", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Ladies, have you ever been dating a new person and kissed someone else?", "post": "Hi, so the title speaks for itself. Have you ever been dating a guy and kissed someone else? Why did you do it and what did it mean to you?\n\nI (M22) recently started dating this girl (F22) we had been on a few dates and things were going well then she had to go out of town for a few weeks. We talked everyday while she was gone and then a few days ago she told me she had kissed another guy on her last day out of town. Before she left we had talked about how we both like each other and we don't want to see anyone else and she says she was drunk and immediately regretted it. I know I need to make a decision myself on what to do but I was just looking for some input from people who have been in a similar situation.", "summary": "! Girl I am talking to kissed another guy while out of town after we talked about only seeing eachother. Would like to know why she would do this"} {"id": "t3_4vljz3", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Coworker won't talk to me after I called in sick", "post": "Title gives the gist, here's the devil in the details. I work at a sort of vocational school. If you are sick, you're supposed to call it in. That's because they need to find a substitute instructor or just postpone the class. Well, one morning I woke up, felt like crap, and called the office. The person I talked to actually wasn't in admin but is one of my colleagues. Why she was answering the phones, I don't know. As she was asking me questions about not coming in to work (feel like I'm gonna puke, don't think its a good idea for me to speak in front of office executives) when suddenly--I puke. On the phone. So she quickly relayed my condition to the staff, they need to get a sub trainer pronto.\n\nI have laryngitis and some kind of flu. As soon as I can start talking and I don't feel like my insides are on fire, I email the office to let them know I am coming to work that day.\nThis coworker sits in the cubicle next to me. I apologize to her and tell her how embarrassed I was she had to deal with all on the phone. But she doesn't even look at me or acknowledge I am there.\nNormally, I'd say 'eff it' and get back to work. However, she is a nice person and we often chat because we sit together. We are work colleagues and professional but also have a civil relationship. No romance, we like to keep the chit chat to work stuff-great. But that is out the window apparently. \n\nHelp me, reddit! What can I do or say to at least get things back on track and we can make dumb jokes at our other coworkers expense?", "summary": "Coworker who is usually chatty got to hear me get sick on the phone and won't talk to me now that I'm back."} {"id": "t3_2wievw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20/F] with my boyfriend [21/M] of ~2 months, it's complicated, also he is moving way too fast, how can I tell him to slow down without hurting his feelings or our relationship?", "post": "This situation is... complicated, sorry, so I'll start from the beginning. I'll try to keep details out if they don't pertain to this situation. \n \nWe started out as \"FWB\"- we agreed about being exclusive because I didn't have the time to keep getting tested for STD's; I'm not sure why he agreed, but he did. \n \nHe was my first... everything, really- boyfriend (now), kiss, lover. I was really good about keeping my feelings exclusively friendly (thanks to years of depression and a-romantic leanings), but he eventually (or, as he told me later, since the first week he knew me?) fell in love with me. He didn't tell me until I got mad at him and nearly ended the \"benefits\" part of our friendship because he slept with another girl. We talked about it, he told me that he loved me, and we worked through it. We became \"official\" a few days before Valentine's, although our relationship didn't change except for the feelings. \n \nHe's been talking about having me move in, trying to get me to work at his job (it's closer to his house, and neither of us have reliable transportation yet), and talking about marriage (I'm pretty sure that he was joking...). I'm starting love him to bits and pieces, but I don't want to burn through this relationship. \n \nHow can I tell him that he's moving too fast for me, and that I'm afraid that his feelings are all from a young first love, early relationship brain high, without hurting either his feelings or our relationship? I'm also afraid that he's only telling me that he loves me because he wants to keep having sex with me, and that's the only way he knows how to keep me around- this fear comes from the fact that we started as FWB and, even though we had previously spoken about being something more, he told me he was happy where we were, ie no romantic ties. Is that a legitimate fear?", "summary": "My boyfriend is kind of clingy, and, as much as I want to love him, I need to take it a bit slower. How do I tell him without hurting his feelings? "} {"id": "t3_4zjbd4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [28F] am moving in with my gamer boyfriend [28M] and wondering if/what ground rules to lay down.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years and are getting ready to move in together. He stays over 4-5 nights per week now as it is, we're talking about marriage, etc. We're definitely ready.\n\nI'm a total non-gamer. I have a 4 year old son who I have full custody of and he has become very attached to my boyfriend. My boyfriend is a huge gamer \u2013 he uses it to pass the time, escape into a different world, interact with others. I see zero harm in it, as that's very much like being an avid reader or in a book club. Everyone has their \"thing,\" and he's a normal, functioning adult outside of his house.\n\nMy fear, though, is how our lives will mesh now that video games will be in MY house. Should I lay down some ground rules? I don't want my son ignored while my boyfriend is constantly in the media room. He sees my boyfriend as a father figure. \n\nIs it unfair of me to lay down ground rules (for example, no gaming when my son is trying to play with us \u2013 if my son is watching TV or doing something solo, gaming is okay). I don't want to be responsible for all of the housework while he's playing either \u2013 I would still expect help with the dishes, general straightening/laundry, etc. before he delves into his games. \n\nI also have hobbies (I like to read and knit, which are solo activities as well), so I'm not particularly worried about being \"bored\" while he's playing or anything. But ideally, I would also like to go to bed together/at the same time most nights. Between work and my son, the end of the day is really our only alone-time together besides the weekends.\n\nDo you think laying down some rules would be unfair? If not, can you think of any other \"ground rules\" I should discuss with him?\n\nI've never been involved with a gamer until this relationship, and it hasn't affected it at all so far. I'm just scared of what a different dynamic it might be having video games in the house.", "summary": "\u2013 moving in with my long-term gamer boyfriend; worried about losing valuable time, housework help, etc. Wondering if I should discuss some ground rules with him."} {"id": "t3_1me0vr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19/M] am in a sort of love triangle? Help!", "post": "One of my good friends and I like the same girl. He is a very awkward guy and has problems talking to girls most of the time, so I asked him if he wanted me to back off. He was very vague about it, so a week later, I'm falling for the girl even more and I don't know how to tell my good friend to just back off. I don't want to come off as an ass.\n\nWhile I'm at it, how can I tell if the girl is actually into me or not? Friends have told me she's been dropping hints and I saw the hints as well, but I don't want to over think it.", "summary": "How to tell my good friend to back off and how to tell if a girl is truly into you? Any advice would help!"} {"id": "t3_4gh0wb", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [M17] just broke up with my girlfriend [F17] and need advice please.", "post": "So basically just hang in here while i ramble a bit. Also on mobile so maybe a bit off. I just broke up with my girlfriend after I decided I just wanted to be friends. She cried a little bit and said she saw it coming but we both decided to have a break and see where we stand feelings-wise. I just feel very guilty however. I had asked if she wanted to do some \"stuff\" which I don't think I need to explain. Not sex but basically everything else. I just felt that I took advantage of her innocence and led her on for a while now. I told her this and she said that it was okay and that it was a joint decision but i feel like I forced her to do these things. I didn't physically force her but I feel like she felt if she didn't do these things I wouldn't love her. I also feel guilty about being kind of douchey these last couple of weeks to her because I was so grumpy all the time trying to decide if I was gonna do it or not. I did know our last couple of dates would be our last ones so I tried to make them as fun as I could just one last time. But away from that subject, we decided we would be friends because we are very close still and I don't want to lose her friendship. I don't know why I feel so guilty. I just want advice for now and for the future.", "summary": "broke up with girlfriend. Feel very guilty for making her do sexual things. She says it's okay but I still feel awful. Still want to maintain our friendship."} {"id": "t3_2xgrxh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [22F] tell family & friends [mostly 50s+] to stop talking so much?", "post": "I feel like such an asshole. I'm an ISFJ if that matters so I think I might cross-post this over to /r/mbti or /r/isfj but I just wanted to get some different opinions on this issue.\n\nI love my alone time. I like listening to the sounds of the birds or wind or water, I prefer music over television as background noise. Having the news on or listening to people talk in the background irritates me to no end to the point. I'm currently on vacation staying with some family friends at their condo and I'm going insane. I'm very grateful that they're letting me stay here, don't get me wrong.\n\nHow do I tell my pseudo-grandma that her non-stop babbling drives me INSANE without being rude about it? If I'm in the same room as her she needs to vocalize every single thought that pops into her head, I cannot go 10 seconds without her saying something to fill the void and the television with news on is constantly running in the background. \n\nWhenever they ask me if I'm bored or what I want to do or watch I've answered the same questions with \"I love that we don't have to do things or talk 24/7 or I'm perfectly comfortable right here just hanging out doing or own thing etc\"\n\nI've tried spending a lot of my time in a room by myself where it's a bit quieter but I don't want to come across as rude or I don't want to spend time with them. Any suggestions on how to vocalize my needs for some quiet time would be much appreciated, she's so sensitive and kind I don't want to hurt her feelings. \n\nI also have the same problems with people at work coming into my office and having conversations that go on WAY TOO LONG and they don't get the hint that I want the conversation to be over so I can go back to doing my work so any advice on those situations would be appreciated too.\n\nSorry if this comes of as me being rude or bitchy I just need some help without hurting their feelings :(", "summary": "How do I a.) stop conversations when I no longer wish to engage or b.) block out background babble without coming across as rude?"} {"id": "t3_27xcvr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [21M] being lead on by [20F] friend?", "post": "Hi guys, I'm losing sleep and think I need an objective viewpoint here.\n\nEarlier this year I met a girl at my college, we instantly hit it off and became quite close friends very quickly. She had a boyfriend when we met, so although I was attracted to her, our relationship was platonic. \n\nCut forward a few months, she breaks up with her boyfriend, and we become closer and more flirtatious. Eventually (after a few weeks) we confess to liking each other as more than friends. She however was upfront about not wanting to jump into anything so soon after her breakup. Fair enough I said, and I explained I was willing to let her get her head sorted before we moved on. \n\nCut forward to now, some weeks later. Right now we're temporarily apart by distance, but we still speak daily, and we talk often about how we wish we were (physically) together. Essentially we speak to each other as if we were a couple and I feel for her a great deal.\n\nHere's where things have put worry in me. Today she tells me a few weeks ago she hooked up with one of her friends. She admitted she liked him somewhat, and to some extent still does. She doesn't know what that means, and still isn't ready to commit to anything serious with me. \n\nIt hurt me a lot more than I let on to learn this. Part of me wants to give her space and not be pushy, but the other half felt kinda distraught and wanting to ask for a more concrete explanation from her. \n\nDoes it sound like she's leading me (and possibly this other guy) on? Should I even be involved with her if she's so confused? Should I just give her space and stick it out?\nI'm worried the more I fall for her the harder it will be if nothing comes of it.", "summary": "Me and my friend have grown extremely close, but I find out she also likes someone else - is this a disaster waiting to happen?"} {"id": "t3_25hs2o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Those of you with your own computer business, my dad (50)is at his wit's end and it's starting to take it's toll on him and our family. (22m & 50f)", "post": "I'm not exactly sure where to post this as technology only allows links to articles from what I read so if it isn't allowed feel free to delete / move this post, Thank you!\n\nSo my dad owns his own computer business and he gets extremely stressed out from the amount of people who bug him and want free stuff done or just to pester him because they have free time. He has a monumental amount of things on his plate that he needs to get done and all these people who bug him won't allow him to get any work done because they constantly nag him and call him for things that he doesn't have time for.\n\nHe tends to vent his stress / anger out on us because were his family and he cant vent to other people because 99% of them are customers of some sort and he doesn't want to be rude. \n\nHe needs some sort of secretary but can't afford to hire one. We can't really do anything about this but sit there and deal with it.", "summary": "How can my dad keep these nagging people at bay so he can get work done? He fixes their computers / electronics and he cant have 25 hours in a day to work on all these tasks that just pile up and become overwhelming."} {"id": "t3_2u73xq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [30F] have only been dating my boyfriend [26M] for 2 months, but I think he's only on a rebound", "post": "My boyfriend and I have only been dating for two months so I'm not sure if it's too soon to assume that he doesn't love me. Hence, this post. \n\nI met him through the spearfishing community. He's from another place so I barely know him and we don't really have common friends. A week ago I found out, through a little research, a little stalking and a lot of questioning that he broke up with his ex March 2014 and they continued going out until July 2014. He got into drug abuse and excessive drinking when he found out the girl started dating someone else in July. I met him in October and I fell in love with him right away. We started dating in December and everything has been going really amazing until I accidentally clicked the year 2013 on his facebook timeline. I suddenly felt a need to read his posts from the past. He was so in love and sweet. He regularly posted about his ex and was so romantic. They were only together for 10 months and I saw that he started posting on their first month. \n\nHere's where the problem is - he doesn't post about me at all. He did during Christmas and New Year but other than that, he doesn't seem to show his affection publicly. I know some people think best to keep affection in private but I'm starting to think that he doesn't love me like he loved his ex. I talked to him about it but he couldn't give me an answer. He kept saying he will but he hasn't still. An hour ago I started getting upset. I asked him what his ex had that I didn't have. He wouldn't answer. He quit the chat. BTW, we are on a long distance relationship and so were he and his ex. He works at an offshore oil rig and he stays there for 28 days each time. Help me please, I'm confused. I don't want to settle for less love than what he can give but I love him.", "summary": "I think my boyfriend still loves his ex. He can't love me the way he loves her and I'm not sure if I should continue the relationship or not."} {"id": "t3_37nwa3", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[23M] I'm done with school and building a career/life for myself. Ready for a serious relationship... where do I start?", "post": "Growing up I was focused on getting setup for a good career and bettering myself rather than worrying about dating. I always had the mindset that my love life would work itself out in time. I did have the odd fling (nothing over 6 months) and some meaningless sex but that's about the full extent of it.\n\nNow that I am finished with school and have a career that I am working on building more and more each day I feel like I am financially and emotionally ready to start getting serious about my love life. The problem being, I have no idea where to start.\nI work with people significantly older than myself and no longer have any real connections to girls my age through school. \n\nMost of friends found their girlfriends/love interests in college/university but I never really tried. I know I didn't miss the boat (hopefully) But I really don't know where I can go to start making connections with people my age and seeing if I can find someone that I'll have a connection with.\nI set up an Okcupid account the other day (one for both gender's just to see who I was competing with) and the ratio of guys to girls on that site is insane. \n\nHoping to hear from some people with experience in this situation but I'd appreciate any advice you are willing to share. Thanks.", "summary": "[23M] finished with school, building a career for myself and ready to take on a serious relationship. No idea where to start, online Dating seems to be pretty saturated with guys"} {"id": "t3_kfh3x", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I know there are plenty of IT folks hereabouts. Any advice for an aimless college student?", "post": "Heya.\n\nSo, I'm a 24-year-old junior pursuing a BS in Info Systems. I started college late, wasted a couple years looking for a 'passion' that I never found, and jumped into IT for practical reasons.\n\nI'm a bit aimless, and in need of some career direction/advice. I feel I need to focus and self-study a given field in order to have a chance of landing a job when I'm out in a year. \n\nI'd really appreciate any input on what field/job I should aim for. I have taken/am taking courses in several disciplines (networking, database, C++, Java, MIS, web programming, security, etc.), but I'm not excited about any of it; it's all mildly interesting. Hence, I'm more worried about job conditions than job interest. \n\n(Realistic?) characteristics of what I'm hoping for:\n\n* I really like to be left alone. Half the reason I opted for IT was for the solitude (relative to other careers). I do data entry part-time now, and am isolated for 99% of the workday. It's perfect. Being left alone is extremely important to me.\n* I don't care about being challenged/stimulated at work. Doing something rote and boring all day is fine by me, even preferable.\n* $$$ is secondary. Mo' money is always good, but I won't be getting married/having kids/etc., so a lot of cash or opportunities for career advancement aren't necessary. I just need to be able to live comfortably alone. And I'm pretty cheap.", "summary": "I'm an aimless junior hunting for an IT career that's solitary, simple, and stable. I'll gladly sacrifice cash, stimulation, and career advancement in return. Wut do."} {"id": "t3_167v2b", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "As a 20-year old student in my final year, what are good tips you wish you knew when you started for a good career and money management?", "post": "So I'll be a programmer when I graduate and I plan on being a good one. I'm one of the best in my class and I really love what I do.\n\nWhat is/are, according to you, the most important thing(s) to take into account? I'm not sure how to build a career and spend my money in a way I won't regret it.\n\nI'm ambitious and I want to shine in what I do and I want to work hard for it. In return I would like to earn good money for what I do and gain respect from other people in the sector.\n\nMaybe those points are a little bit unrealistic for in my twenties but hey, I don't know any better, I never worked before. (Other then silly summer jobs)\n\nThanks in advance!", "summary": "I want to do what it takes to get (almost) to the top, any advice? How about money management?"} {"id": "t3_2jjg5h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 24M with my 22F wife of 1.5 years; 1 daughter (14months). Terrible childhood and I can't seem to overcome it. In counseling, but still struggle so much.", "post": "I am the youngest of four siblings in my family.\n\nMy parents had my two oldest siblings between 18-20, and then my other sibling and I between 22-24. \nMy father was an alcoholic and abusive with my mother until I was 2 when he became sober.\n\nGrowing up I thought my family life was all good, I didn't know any better. \n\nLooking back; I missed a lot of opportunities to learn how to be a proper man. (i.e. how to respect your wife, children, how to show that you love someone, care, and appreciate them. How to truly contribute to the family unit)\n\nI left home when I was almost 19 and entered the military. I met my wife just before my enlistment ended and we got married 6 months after we started dating when she became pregnant (damn flu, and then antibiotics, we knew not to have sex but that didn't cover the sex we had a few days before she came down with the flu... but in the grand scheme... our daughter is the best thing that has happened to us and was enough motivation to get me to start figuring out what was wrong with me)\n\nAfter we got married I had quite the face plant in to depression and had to spend a stint in a behavioral health center for threatening to kill myself. (my cry for help) A year and a half later; our marriage is barely staying together, we go to counseling together, but I just can't seem to grasp the positive concepts and slip back to the negative ways from time to time. \n\nI feel as if I much rather would have grown up outside of my family because I'm not sure if that life granted me anything positive at all, and what it did, seems to be largely outweighed by the negatives.\n\nRegardless; I'm just so sick of being consumed by the negativity and want to be happy, to love myself and the same with my wife and daughter.\n\nAnybody in a similar boat and have tips or strategies to overcome the negative past that built you to who you are today?", "summary": "Childhood that I thought was good, wasn't, and now I want to fix myself to save my family (wife / child) relationship!"} {"id": "t3_19h377", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I need a challenge for 2 hours, any ideas?", "post": "So, I'm a youth worker and I have to come up with team a team challenge which will be around 2 hours long and engage the young people (aged 11-18) on our weekend away. \n\nWe take the group to a country park and basically let them do whatever they want in the 2 hours to complete this 'challenge' and do it as best they can. In previous years, they have made a film on the theme of the weekend, but I'm stuck for ideas. I've had a few, like maybe try to see who can make the biggest and best sculpture with what they find in the park, but it doesn't really grab my attention, and if it doesn't grab mine, it certainly won't grab a load of teenagers.\n\nThe theme of the weekend is 'Living in the light' (it is a Christian group, which is the reason for the name of the theme if you were wondering)\n\nI'm open to any ideas, but with a low budget, no idea of what's actually in the country park and with no time to set up... We also don't have any leaders to spare, so we can't play 'hunt the leader', unfortunately. You see the difficulty I am in.\n\nReddit is probably the most creative place I know for ideas, so I'm counting on you for inspiration! Thanks!\n\nAlso, if this is in the wrong subreddit, I apologise.", "summary": "I need a challenge to engage 11-18 year olds in groups of 4/5 to last for 2 hours, on a low/no budget."} {"id": "t3_3oshla", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 F] recently have become aware of my codependent tendancies and don't know how to change.", "post": "I've come to the conclusion after some counseling and reflection on past relationships, and recently failed dating endeavors that I have codependent tendancies. I have a problem with taking time away from texting a person or waiting long periods for their response. I frequently initiate conversations because I'm to anxious to wait for them to contact me. \n\nI'm searching for validation from other people, I have a hard time being alone. \n\nI am overbearing sometimes and get to high of expectations for a partner, even before expectations should be had.\n\nI'm needy and come off as overly clingy sometimes, and I get upset when people try to end things or put distance between us even if I wasn't that into the person. \n\nI've realized that these tendancies have happened in some variation of severity over the course of most of my relationships and that it has put strain on them. I want to stop this destructive behavior but i don't even know where to begin or how to change. I'm sick of ruining potential relationships because I have this issues. Any advice on overcoming codependent tendancies would be much appreciated.", "summary": "Recently realized I have codependent tendancies that have cause problems in all past relationships and some friendships, and I don't know how to start changing."} {"id": "t3_33tgdr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [16 F] has over 15+ guy friends. It's not okay to me (17 M).", "post": "We are both in high school, and have been dating for 5 months. I try hard to not be a jealous man, and I have pushed my boundaries far for this relationship.\n\nMy girlfriend has a LOT of guy friends. Over 15+. I constantly see her walking with them, talking to them (in a flirty demeanor), texting different guys. Almost every time we talk she brings up another one of her guy friends. I have no direct evidence of her cheating, but I'm seriously having trouble trusting her.\n\nI have tried talking to her about it and she denies it, says she only has \"one real guy friend\", and has gotten seriously angry when I mention the topic of cheating.\n\nShe is far from the \"romantic type\" which is fine, but she also puts little effort into our relationship and it seems as if she does not respect me much at all.\n\nThis is reaching a breaking point when I logged on Instagram yesterday, and saw her post a picture with yet another one of her guy friends, heads touching with a huge open smile. Yet she downright refuses to take pictures with me, and hides her face when I try to do so. \n\nI haven't talked to her about it yet, but all of this is seriously boiling my blood and I'm not sure what to do.", "summary": "Girlfriend has so many male friends that it makes me uncomfortable, and I'm having a lot of trouble trusting her."} {"id": "t3_3cqb88", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my ___ [25M] Longtime friends, casual hookups, more?", "post": "Okay so we have been friends for 10 years. Lost touch for a while then got back in contact and hooked up, this happens anytime we see eachother which could be a week apart or months, I just depends when we are both free. Should mention we don't live close. \n\nWell recently our hookups have been getting more, meaningful, for lack of a better word and now when he comes over I have this fear. I freeze and can't talk to him like a friend. He initiates conversation and it's all good in that respect but I have nothing to add to conversation, it's like my brain freezes and I go mute. I need to figure out how to change this. \n\nI really like him and know it's just not practical to be together as a couple but I have no idea when this is going to end. I have been putting off seeing other people and that's a BAD thing & refuse to commit to anyone because I know he's there. It's bad. Oh so bad. He's gunna get bored, I am bored but not being able to think when he's around. Stimulating conversation was our thing. I hope this makes sense?", "summary": "Hooking up with a LD friend now I like him so much my voice or brain doesn't work when he's around, need to get my mojo back. "} {"id": "t3_4qivxw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I 23/F am about to ruin my 2.5 year relationship with SO 32/M because I'm insecure and uncontrollably emotional", "post": "I'm trying to make this short. There is a lot I could say about this relationship. As all couples do we have had our ups and downs and we are currently in our 2nd month of a break via advice from our couples counselor (SO needs to deal with some personal/family issues without me as his crutch and I need to work on my self esteem/trust issues) but lately (the past week or so) I've really been feeling like I'm going crazy. I feel depressed and worthless. I feel like he can do better/wants to do better and I've convinced myself he wants to be back with his ex who he's been friends with for 10+ years. She lives in another state where his college friends live and she's super cool with his whole circle where as I am never around his friends. He tells me she was friends with his friends before he was so he can't exclude her from that group. But he also doesn't tell me when he's seeing her while he's out of state. When I ask he says oh yeah I ran into her but from her social media it looks like planned get togethers. Yesterday I asked him if he has any feelings for her still and he told me the time for them to be anything more than friends passed which to me sounds like \"I love her but we cant be together\" when I asked he said that's not what he meant and he had no feelings for her. I know he's frustrated with my insecurities and I wanna make this work. But I can't stop thinking he's only with me not To hurt my\nFeelings. I really feel like I'm going crazy! I've been crying nonstop for 3 days and there's no one to blame but myself.", "summary": "I feel that my insecurities are real and that my boyfriend doesn't want to be with me despite him assuring me that's not the case."} {"id": "t3_249ajt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 M] am about to propose to my girlfriend [22F] of almost 2 years, and I can't calm myself down", "post": "Alright, so I am preparing to propose to my girlfriend of almost 2 years \n(we were friends for double that beforehand) in a couple days and I am starting to get EXTREMELY anxious/nervous. We have talked about this for months, and I know she will say yes, but I can't seem to relax. \n\nThe other day I bought the ring, which I fell in love with myself and know she will too. And then two days ago, I asked her dad's blessing. Everything has gone great so far, but now leading up to it I can't think about anything else. I can't sleep. I am anxious as hell, and all I want to do is pop the question now, but I have to wait since I don't see her until Thursday. \n\nI know how I am going to do it. I have thoroughly planned it out and I am more than prepared. But, at the same time, I am freaking out. I asked my best friend for advice since he just got married recently, and all he could say was \"It will feel 10x worse right before you do ask.\" \n\nAny suggestions on how to relax leading up to it? I would like to be able to sleep...", "summary": "I am about to ask the love of my life to marry me, and I am getting EXTREMELY anxious. Advice on how to relax leading up to popping the question?"} {"id": "t3_1ne9zn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 M] slept with with my best friend [18 F] even though she has a boyfriend for 2 years. Not sure how she feels.", "post": "The three of us know each other for a few years now, but about a month ago, She \"asked me out on a date\" during one of their fights and break-ups (they \"break-up\" about twice a month), and while they got back together the next day me and her started talking a lot more.\n\nShe tried to match me with her friend and called me a \"traitor\" when I said yes or whenever I mentioned her, She often asked me if I like her or who I prefer, her or X, She said that she would probably try and hook up with me if she didn't have a boyfriend, You get the idea...\nBut she also always made sure I know nothing will happen between us (even the day I slept with her) and it doesn't look like she have any plans of breaking up with her current boyfriend.\n\nIt's been a few days since and I talked to her every day like nothing happened, but when I did try asking her what she would want to happen between us I was never able to get a straight answer (\"I don't know\" mostly).\n\nI have no idea what to think right now. I owe her a lot (circumstances aside she pretty much saved my life) and I would do anything for her, but I don't know what to think about her. I'm not even sure if I can be in a relationship with someone like her.", "summary": "I slept with my best friend (cheating on her boyfriend), our relationship is complicated, I have no idea how to continue.."} {"id": "t3_1fgcs7", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "Finally found the motivation to get started with my dream of creating video games - and I'll be keeping a daily blog chronicling the process!", "post": "I've been a long-time lurker here on r/GetMotivated. For the past few months, I've made it my morning ritual to scroll through r/GetMotivated with my morning coffee. The great quotes and stories of success never fail to pick me up and help me head into the day with an upbeat attitude.\n\nLately, I've been feeling more and more that I should apply this motivation and positivity to my life in a bigger, bolder way, so I've decided to pursue a dream that I've had for some time now. I've decided to challenge myself to create one small video game per month, for the next six months. Although I've a fairly tech-savvy person (if I do say so myself...), I have only minimal experience with programming / game creation (a minor amount of scripting knowledge, a smattering of HTML5 / Javascript). I'll be using a lot of middleware, and this will be very much an exercise in learning as I go.\n\nI'll be chronicling my progress (and the inevitable pitfalls and hilarity) in my blog:\n\nThe blog's quite scant at the moment, I know (just the one introductory post), but I'll be posting more every day. Videos, images, and tales of daring heroics to follow.\n\nI know that you guys here in r/GetMotivated are awesome, supportive people, and I'd appreciate any thoughts, comments, or advice you'd like to throw my way. Help keep me motivated, and keep me honest!", "summary": "I'm challenging myself to make six simple video games in six months. Read about my exciting adventures in amateur game design on my blog: "} {"id": "t3_31rhhz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28M] with my [26F] girlfriend, who tells me frequently how often she gets hit on", "post": "Hi Reddit!\n\nI've been dating my girlfriend for the past 6 months, and things have been going really well. We both care deeply about one another, are compatible in the important ways, and really enjoy spending time together.\n\nSince I met my girlfriend, I've noticed that she makes a point of telling me about how much attention she gets from other men on a very regular basis, and I suppose I'm not really sure why. At least 3-4 days per week, she'll find a way to mention that so-and-so male friend used to have a crush on her, or that she had to block someone on Facebook because they were sending flirtatious messages, or that a bunch of men were trying to talk to her when she was out at a bar, and so on.\n\nI don't really know what to make of this. I feel awful saying it, but my girlfriend, while pretty and definitely more attractive than I am, is still not a super model. She is fairly social, can be flirty, and certainly does certain things to garner male attention, which I suppose is relevant, but this doesn't really bother me because she has never cheated in past relationships, and I trust her. Interestingly, she never gets hit on when we're out together, but I'm sure this is because I'm standing right next to her. Moreover, she has other female friends who are single and attractive, but when she tells me about her nights out, she always seems to imply that she gets significantly more attention than anybody else. \n\nMy question has to do with why my girlfriend seems so eager to tell me about all of this attention that other guys give her. I consider myself to be a pretty caring boyfriend, and I tell her frequently how much I love her. I know she's been in a few unhealthy relationships in the past, and that she considers herself to be a victim of verbal and emotional abuse, so I'm not sure if she's trying to remind me that she's valuable and attractive to others, if she needs me to give her more compliments, if she's just trying to keep me in the loop, if she's trying to make me jealous, or if she's trying to brag.", "summary": "girlfriend seems to attract a lot of male attention, and has made a habit of telling me about all of it. I'm not sure why she feels so strongly about telling me every time it happens."} {"id": "t3_4zdnc8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My married coworker [29F] has bee telling me [22M] about her sexual exploits with a guy my age", "post": "*", "summary": "Should I tell my coworker something or say something (possibly anon.) to her husband? Should I keep my mouth shut?"} {"id": "t3_2uxccu", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Valentines day is coming. Girlfriend [22/F] hates the day. I [23/M] still want to do something special for her.", "post": "The past two years has been a bust. She always gets horribly depressed and a bit angry around valentines day. She's never told me outright why though, which is why my attempts at romance always fall short.\n\nValentines day also happens to fall about 2 weeks before out anniversary (this year will be our 3rd.) I know for sure I want to get her flowers because she's been hinting at that lately. However, I don't know what she likes! Obviously I can't walk up to her and say \"Hey what kind of flowers do you like?!\"\n\nAnother way to go is to not do something at all and simply respect how she feels about it. I'm completely clueless about it all.", "summary": "Girlfriend hates valentines day, I want to do something romantic so maybe she won't hate it as much next year. I'd love ideas on what to do (or what not to do!)"} {"id": "t3_349w5l", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by almost setting my room on fire.", "post": "Obligatory this happened a few months ago. I went out drinking this one time to this bar with 5 shots for $10 and I, of course, had a few too many rounds of them. I should also mention I'm a fan of damaging my lungs by smoking, especially when I drink. I go through a pack at most. So me and my friends are having a good time, yada yada, and at around 3am I decide to go home. I get to my place craving a cigarette but I don't have anymore but I remembered my sister had gotten me some cigars for Christmas and decided to smoke one instead. After awhile I called it a night, turned off the cigar and went to bed. This is where I fucked up. I wake up around 15 minutes afterwards with my eyes bothering me thinking wtf is going on. Flicked my lights on and my room is full of smoke. Turns out I didn't turn the cigar off properly and it started a little fire in my garbage can. Quickly I grabbed the water bottle I always leave in my room and put it off, turned on my fan, opened my windows, and threw out the bag after making sure there was no more fire. Had to sleep in my living room that night (;~_~)\u30ce\n\nSince that night I got scared of ever smoking indoors so I always go to my fire escape or go out my building to smoke.", "summary": "got drunk. Smoked a cigar. Turned it off badly, set my garbage can on fire. Made a rule that nobody is allowed to smoked in my room."} {"id": "t3_1jh5jb", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (m18) feel like I don't have enough time with partner (f17)", "post": "My (18m) girlfriend (17f) of 1 year has a new job in which she works 50+ hours a week. Before this, we spent a lot of time together, 3-5 times a week (or upwards of 30 hours). We mostly just hung out, not really many hardcore dates. On top of this, she's also re-united with a past friend and started to hang out with him a lot more. She is close to her family, has no father (deceased) and is middle class. She must pay for 3 years of university. So the past 2 months or so we have only been hanging out for a total of about 6 to 9 hours a week. Is it wrong for me to feel neglected? How should I go about tackling this? \nAs a sidenote, I also am a bit jealous of her new friend but am trying to keep this as my problem only, and am overcoming it.", "summary": "GF works 50+ hours/week, I only get 6-9 hours per week with her. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1iw6ie", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29M] found the girl of my dreams [32F] but she doesn't have my preferred breast size. Am I asking for too much? (x-post from r/sex)", "post": "So it's really hard for me to have any (emotional) feelings for a girl. I haven't truly been in love in my adult life until recently. I've been with my girlfriend for a few months and she's probably the greatest person I've ever met. We get along so well and I'm very much in love with her. Everyone who has met her agrees: there are very few people like her.\n\nShe is the first person I've seriously considered marrying and having kids with. But she doesn't have big boobs, and that is a huge thing for me.\n\nI really, really like girls with large breasts. Every girl I've been with who has large breasts tell me they've never been with a guy who pays so much attention to their breasts. If you go through my porn folder it's all girls with huge tits, it's a really big thing for me.\n\nI like them so much that I don't know if I can go my entire life without being with someone without large breasts. And it's not like my girlfriend isn't attractive. She is a beautiful girl with a phenomenal physique.\n\nI've been waiting over a decade for someone like her, but I can't deal with the small breasts thing. Am I being a selfish asshole and asking for too much? If we break up will I be kicking myself for not being someone for this one reason? Will I ever find this chemistry with someone again?", "summary": "I found the girl of my dreams but don't think I can marry her because she doesn't have big boobs. Is this reasonable? Does this make me a selfish asshole?"} {"id": "t3_39ohn6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [34F] with my Ex BF___ [36 M] 6 months went from ex to next ::happy dance::", "post": "Met the ex online. Thought he was 100% available.\nNope. He had his head always looking for what else was out there but failed to see the girl in front of him.\nHe has been rejected ,shot down and been made to look like a fool but he was still chasing those girls.\nThe Grass is Green syndrome is a fatal flaw in relationships. I tried talking to him about it but he denied it. I felt like I was ripped off. Like he never gave us a real shot because in his mind he was still chasing after those other girls. He even had secret accounts (Whatsass, snapcrotch etc) \nHe never asked me to join and threw a tantrum when I told him that it bothered me that he has social networks with other women but doesn't include his own gf. He even said this nonsense \"Well, whats next? I can't be friends with my own mother? Shes a female.\" \nYes, yes that came out of his mouth in his defense. and none of those other women new about me or that he was in a relationship because he did NOT tell them. \n\nEnough was enough. I felt hurt, rejected and couldn't keep up with the fantasy in his head so I left.\n\nKeep in mind I wasn't looking for anyone or anything new but a wonderful man has just entered my life. \n\nHe has introduced me to his circle of both female and male friends. He has also introduced RESPECT in to my life. Something that has been lacking from previous relationships. I'm taking things slow. Friends first then build from that.\n\nMy question for my fellow Reddit Readers\nHas someone treated you poorly because they thought that they could do better but in turn you are the one that is succeeding? \nThank you", "summary": "He thought the grass was greener and I tried but turns out I found greener fields. Has this happened to others??"} {"id": "t3_2t3pjh", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by accidentally breaking an old man's hip", "post": "I was walking around my college town procrastinating an important homework assignment when I stumbled upon an antique shop I'd never seen before. I'm an absolute crazy for old stuff, so I walked in and a seeminlgly harmless old man greeted me. \n\n\"What're you looking for pretty lady?\" \n\n\"I'm just looking around\" I said.\n\n\"Okay, I'll be up front if you need anything.\"\n\nLittle did I know this motherfucker was quiet as a goddamn cat on a carpet. As I was walking around, I got that creepy feeling like \"you know someone is behind you, but every time you turn around, nothing is there\" type stuff. I did this about four times before I caught the bastard snapping pics of my bum when I would stoop down to look at something.\n\n\"What the fuck are you doing?\" \n\nHe made a run for it around a corner and dodged me around some antiques before I caught the sleeve of his sweatshirt. I thought to myself, *I got him now, I'll just make him delete them and leave!* I spoke too soon. Trying to steady myself, while still holding onto his sleeve, I accidentally slipped on some old magazines laying on the floor and he came down with me.\nCrack. Something definitely broke. \n\n*oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck*\n\nCalled an ambulance and turns out he fractured his hip during the fall, but he'll live. He took his phone with him. He still has pictures of my ass.", "summary": "wore a skirt to an antique shop, elderly owner took pics of my butt, tried to escape and I accidentally fracture his hip."} {"id": "t3_xabh0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My dad has now gone through two bouts with pneumonia within ~2 months. His allergy to our cats has worsened to the point where getting rid of them seems to be the only remaining option. Have any of you ever successfully found homes for animals you can no longer keep?", "post": "Some additional information:\n\n* Because I know this will come up: Yes, he had an allergy to cats prior to getting so sick. However, he was always been able to manage the allergy. \n\n* His lungs are so bothersome now that he's on multiple steroids and a nebulizer. The reason we are having to debate getting rid of the cats is because his allergy greatly reduces his treatments effectiveness.\n\n* We have asked everyone we know - both personally and from work - and no one can take them. \n\n* We are in the process of preparing ads to go on pet-finder.\n\n* We've called the pound as a last resort, they don't have room. They said we'd just have to leave them out back in a cage, and we will NOT do this. \n\n* The ideal situation would be to find a foster family who can look after them for 6 - 10 months while my father's lungs recover. Our hope is that if he's able to recuperate that his allergy to the cats will diminish to where it was prior to him being sick.\n\n* We are in Western, Md. \n\nI am totally crushed by all of this. I have never before had to get rid of a pet, and we are all embarrassed at having to do so. But the only option is for my father to continue suffering, and it's not fair to him. So please - if you have any advice or suggestions I am all ears.", "summary": "Dad got super sick, cats are making it near impossible to recuperate, and we need to find them new homes."} {"id": "t3_27i0sa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 25 [m] with gf 25 [f] together 1.5 years, she is financially incompetent and I'm trying not to be the bad guy.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years and hopefully will be together a long time. \n\nWe currently live with my parents since I got sick and had to move home, and pay for all kinds of medical related stuff. We're trying to save money so we can leave the state were in and head somewhere where we can afford to live. I make decent money, and have been supporting the both of us as she has been out of a job the last 9 months. \n\nI personally am pretty good with budgeting and finances. Currently she owes the IRS $3k. She just got a part time job working 15 hours a week. She is without a car, however she is free to use my car just about anytime. \nShe just brought up the fact that she now wants her own car so she has more freedom and doesn't have to bother me, even though we've discussed multiple times that we would set her up with a car once we move and get situated.\n\nAs of right now it does not make sense for this to happen. Her getting a car would cost a few thousand dollars initially, then registration, gas, insurance, and money in case it breaks down since neither of us can afford for her to get a car that's decently reliable. It's caused multiple arguments and I'm getting tired of trying to help her try to manage money and teach her the practicality of situations.\n\nThis is her 3rd job since we've been together, so I don't want her to get a car and then be out of a job and have more expenses to cover when she isn't getting an income. Am I being too \"controlling\" over the situation? I'm trying to do what's best for US!", "summary": "She has my car she can use anytime, and we're trying to save up to move. Gf not good with money"} {"id": "t3_41sof5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] with my Girlfriend [26F] and her son [4m], I thought I could handle him but now I'm having second thoughts, am I in the wrong?", "post": "I live with my girlfriend and her son, which has been going on for about 9 months. I met her son a few months after dating her and we moved in together not long after that, getting them both away from her abusive parents they were living with.\n\nAt the time she asked if I thought I was up to being in her sons life, saying that I might be too selfish to look after someone so young, and I said that I loved her, and I was willing to give it a try to the best of my abilities, and in the beginning it was fine, there was some conflict but he and I got along well. I was helping my girlfriend out with him while she was dealing with long hours of work, which was fine by me.\n\nFast forward to now, and I'm having doubts. I want to spend time with her, without her son being there but we haven't in such a long time (almost 6 months!) and I feel like being with him is a chore. I have to force myself to pick him up at a reasonable time, and help out with him. Any time he starts acting up I feel like I just shut down emotionally and the amount of time I spend looking after him and feeling uninterested/frustrated is bothering me. \n\nI love her so much, and I do want to help out, but I feel like after I've given it my best shot, I'm just not cut out to care for him and it feels like I'm trapped because of her new work hours which means she won't be able to take care of him at all without my help. Is it wrong to change my mind? I don't want to leave her without support, but I don't want to be around for him to have an example of if my hearts not in it.", "summary": "I told my girlfriend over 6 months ago I could help take care of her son and now I'm realising that I'm not suited to it."} {"id": "t3_187v7q", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "My dogs have totally lost their biscuits.", "post": "So my family has two fairly large mixed breed dogs, M6 and F9. We've had both since puppies, so we know they werent abused, but my parents never formally trained them. They've never been good with visitors and now its gotten to the point where they completely run the house. My parents treat them like spoiled children. \n\nThe female dog, who has always had fairly strong herding tendencies, has gone totally insane in the last few years. She growls, barks and gives warning bites to anyone who gets in her space (AKA the whole house.) I can't have friends over anymore because she has bit all of them for leaning the wrong way, entering a room without her permission. She's not allowed outside anywhere but our back yard because she bit/nipped (no blood) a kid in our neighborhood. Now she whines all day long for no apparent reason and nothing will make her shut up. \n\nThe other male dog seems to have learned from her that these behaviors get her attention and is now imitating her with barks, growls and whines. My parents both feel that putting down the crazy dog is way over the line, and she is my pet so I'm not in support of that either, but shes lost her marbles and nothing seems to help. We've put her on mild meds that just make her sleep but don't solve the underlying problems. \n\nShe's 9 years old, but what are we supposed to do, just let her be the queen bitch of the house and wait who knows how long until she passes? Would love some advice for dealing with such extreme dog behavioral issues, especially a fairly old dog. Thanks r/dogs!", "summary": "I've got a crazy old female herding dog who is completely out of control and a younger male mutt who is learning to imitate her insane behavior. What on earth am I supposed to do?"} {"id": "t3_3b3qcn", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I rent a room in a house, do I have to help with yard work?", "post": "Hello, I am fairly young, and haven't lived on own for very long (Been out of school for about a year). I rent a room in a ladies house that she owns, we get along really well, I pay monthly rent and half of utilities, and we keep the house pretty clean and take turns cleaning to bathroom etc. I've lived there for about 4 months now, and now that it's summer she keeps asking me to help her mow the lawn and do other yard maintenance. Yard work really sucks imo, and if I just rented an apartment or condo I wouldn't have to do yard work at all. Is helping with yard work my responsibility?", "summary": "My roommate who owns the house I rent a room in is trying to make me help with yard work, is that my responsibility?"} {"id": "t3_4s9st6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] of 3 years, need advice on future of relationship", "post": "Okay some back story; I am currently with my high-school sweetheart who graduated high-school early to come to college with me. We are entering our second year living together and just passed our three year anniversary. Things are great between us. We spend a ton of time together, never fight and we have always gotten along like the best of friends.\n\nMy problem is that we have nothing in common. We have totally different interests and hobbies. It bothers me that we relate on almost nothing and that we are so different. The worst part about it is she is so sweet and kind and I know she would never leave my side. I feel like I am missing out on being with someone who I can relate to more and share more of myself with. I am not unhappy and I really love her but I can't help but wonder what my life would be like with someone who understood me better. I have tried to get her interested in the things I like: video games, philosophy, working out. It just feels like a struggle whenever I try to explain something to her and she can't grasp what I am talking about at all. We don't think the same and it bothers me.\n\nHer and I are so intertwined and close that I know it would just destroy her if for whatever reason we were not together anymore. I really do love this woman but there are big things in my life that are missing. I try not to question it but why would I even be making this post If I felt complete? I can't justify just leaving her because she is perfect in every other way. Do I sacrifice parts of my happiness and just shut up and be content? \n\nThanks for the advice and letting me materialize and vent my thoughts.", "summary": "Do I hide part of myself away and pretend to be wholly happy or do I risk losing what could be the best thing I could ever have?"} {"id": "t3_2n3ajg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18/F] boyfriend [23/M] is ignoring me after a fight. Is this normal?", "post": "I posted this earlier but wanted to slightly update. We've been dating for four months. Things were going great until about a month ago when I noticed how different he was acting towards me. He's always been sweet, supportive, funny, talkative etc. But now he's constantly grumpy and it seems like he's losing interest in me.\n\nOn Wednesday he ended our date early because he \"had to get to the gym at 6 before the courts fill up\". I asked him why he *had* to go today and why he couldn't just skip one day and he said he always goes to the gym on weekdays to play basketball with his friends. He then drove me home and told me to not get upset when I was clearly very upset. He basically forced me out of his car. I don't even know why he asked to meet on Wednesday if he was going to leave so early. \n\nThat night he sent me a goodnight text and I replied with, \"You make me puke\" (which I now really regret). He went, \"Why so?\" and I was about to send him a paragraph stating how cold and insensitive he's been but instead I just put, \"You don't even like me.\" He didn't reply so I assumed that I was right. I then started feeling really guilty, like maybe he was mad at me for thinking that. So last night, in an effort to save our relationship, I decided to text him, \"I'm sorry. I was being immature and mean. It just seemed like you valued basketball over me.\" Still, no reply. \n\nI don't know why he's doing this. It's incredibly frustrating not knowing where his head's at now. We've only had one other fight before but he didn't act this way at all. Is this normal? And do I have a right to be upset? I feel like I shouldn't have apologized but our relationship is so much more important than that fight.\n\nWe were supposed to see each other on Sunday but I know that's not going to happen. We have class together on Tuesday and I am fully expecting him to break up with me then.", "summary": "Boyfriend of 4 months is ignoring me after an argument we had on Wednesday. I apologized but he's still ignoring me. Is this his way of ending the relationship? I'm so confused by this."} {"id": "t3_43kwig", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (30F) with my boyfriend (31M) of 4 months, me feeling upset and alone and not sure why", "post": "I've been dating him (31M) for just under 4 months...really not that long. We met online and things were going really well for a while. We dated twice a week for a while, then after about a month we started sleeping together. We have both met each others' friends once each (most of our good friends live out of town and were here for the holidays). \n\nOther than those occasions, our pattern is that he comes to my house after work one day a week, we make dinner or go out, he spends the night and we have great sex, then he leaves the next AM. Then one weekend night I do the same things at his house, going home afternoon the next day.\n\nWe seem compatible, the sex is great, we have fun together and he has treated me well. We have established exclusivity and I don't doubt that. This has been going great so far, but the last week or so I have felt sad. Today when I returned from his house I started crying instead of feeling happy like before. \n\nI think the problem for me is that I feel a bit emotionally alone. Although he is sweet, texts and talks to me daily and calls me beautiful, I don't know where his head is. He doesn't tend to want to see me any more than our usual times a week and he doesn't make future plans far ahead. He spent both the winter holiday and will spend valentines weekend out of state visiting his family. These were plans he made before we started dating, but I still feel like I'm not a priority in his life. \n\nAnyway, I'm feeling emotionally alone and like I don't know where this is going, though I can't put my finger on why. I just wish he would give me a look, say something, take more time for me or take some gesture to let me know how he feels about me. \n\nWhat should I do? Is this legitimate to feel this way? Does it mean we just aren't meant to be, or is it fixable? Is it my problem that I'm rushing in too soon? Should I tell him how I feel or just give it more time and see if things change on their own?", "summary": "Dating a guy for 4 months and I suddenly feel that I'm emotionally alone in the relationship. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1x2n51", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[25 /F] Uneasy about BF's [30 M/F] thing for Asians", "post": "I met my boyfriend in Asia a year ago while we were both working. The relationship has been going well so far and things are getting pretty serious.\n\nHe has lived in Asia on and off for a good few years, working. His two longest relationships before me were with Asian women and he has had a number of shorter relationships with Asian women. I am his first serious white, Western girlfriend despite him having grown up in a Western country with lots of white women around. He has made a series of ... interesting... remarks about Asian women, while tipsy, and has said he thinks Asian babies are the cutest. *A lot* of his hobbies and interests are related to Asian culture. In casual conversation, I have subtly asked him if he has a physical preference for Asian women (I've met a lot of Western men who have professed to this, so I wouldn't be surprised) and he said no and told me the reason that he's been with more Asian women is because they have taken more of an interest in him, than Caucasian Western women and it's all just circumstantial, etc... Sounds like BS to me.\n\nI want to stay with him, but lately I've been feeling insecure about the fact that he might like Asian women more than White women.\n\nAre there any people out there who can identify with this situation? How do you manage these thoughts? I talked to one female friend about it and she told me that \"he sounds like the kind of person who will always prefer foreign girls from any region\" but that I shouldn't overreact. I don't know. I am terrified of investing my feelings in someone who may later reject me when he realises that I am not what he really wants.", "summary": "I want to stay with my BF, but lately I've been feeling insecure about the fact that he might like Asian women more than White women."} {"id": "t3_3t7j22", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by hanging out with these groups of people at school for 2 years.", "post": "Ok so backstory first; I was 12 (now 14, why am I on reddit??) and my current friends were turning into thugs so I decided to leave them...\nI found these new people who were like 20-30 friend squad k\nIn 8th grade an egyptian kid moved to my school and this year someone did a really REALLY racist thing...\n\nThey made an instagram account him and went on random posts saying pretty racist things.\nAnyways my friends tell me and I'm not a person that makes fun of those things so I said thats not funny and I didnt laugh.\n\nAnyways the next day I'm on the lunch line and the guy finds out and all my friends say it was me who made the account, which I didnt at all, I barely have internet to post this here.\nFlash forward to today, his brother threatens me, saying that he's gonna beat me up, and at the end of school I'm called to the office (I thought it was for putting pictures of my teachers all around his classroom).\nI see my friend there and we both say how we had nothing to do with it, and the principal says he's going to open a police investigation about it. Crap.", "summary": "hung out with some people and later they jokiongly accuse me of being racist to kid and i end up with threats + a police investigation started up (and im the best student at the school) :("} {"id": "t3_2aonf7", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "401k rollover advice before attending grad school", "post": "I'm leaving my current position at the end of this month to go to grad school this coming fall. I have a fully vested 401k with my company that is managed through Transamerica and I'm wondering what to do with it.\n\nI already have a Roth IRA with Vanguard (and I've read some of the other posts about the ease of doing a direct rollover with them) where the money could certainly go but I just wanted to see if there were other options.\n\nIs it advisable to try to diversify my accounts and invest the money in an account other than a Roth IRA? Or is simply rolling the 401k into the IRA the best idea? If there's any sort of high risk/high yield fund which may help me offset some of my future debt, that is a risk I may be willing to take.\n\nAlternatively I know that simply taking the cash and paying the tax is usually not advised but as I'll have no more income for the rest of the year I'm wondering if it may be an option.\n\nAny advice is greatly appreciated.", "summary": "Have a fully vested 401k, going to grad school this fall and I'm wondering what to do with this 401k"} {"id": "t3_2qsdoj", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [F/20] don't know how to think about my boyfriend [30] not giving me a Christmas gift or saying anything straightforward about it.", "post": "Christmas just passed and everyone got gifts! Including my boyfriend, from me and he didn't get me one. I was a bit upset about it, but understood that with his job he barely has time and he also is without car for the time being. The thing is he has gone to the mall and other places before I arrived back home which would had given him time... I believe. The awkward thing is that he had mentioned me about these ray-bans he wanted to get me, but said something about his cousin not getting them to him... but the way he said it was vague (he said this on the 25th). What sparked up this question is that today my mom asked me if my boyfriend had given me a gift and I felt embarrassed answering her question and got a little defensive. \n\nWhat should I say to my boyfriend about this? How do I express that I am a little upset?", "summary": "Boyfriend didn't get me a gift, didn't really say any excuse. I'm upset don't know how to express this. I did get him a gift."} {"id": "t3_rk6oo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I don't know how to express anger anymore.", "post": "Me 28f; Him 31m; Relationship casually for a year, more seriously for 6 months\n\nI dated a guy in college for five years who was physically abusive and we broke up three years ago. The reason the casual part of this current relationship lasted so long is because I was not ready. Finally I've let myself go and am falling pretty hard but don't know how to express anger healthfully anymore (I'm pathetically googling \"how to be mad\" and \"how to communicate\")! I believe that my abusive relationship kind've turned everything upside down but it's time to move on - this guy is great (I know that much even though I am mad right now). \n\nI have told him he hurt my feelings, that I don't feel like he's supportive of my artistic ventures but I don't think he is listening. Also he is a non-apologizer (something I will probably bring up when things aren't so heated). I have asked for some space and time - but it's been two days. I feel like I am making a big deal out of nothing. He also has a bff visiting for the week and I want to respect their time together. I don't want to be manipulative and give him a guilt trip but I also want to avoid saying things I don't mean.\n\nSo how do I say I'm mad without making him totally defensive? And then how do I deal if he comes back with \"suck it up, you're too sensitive\"? I don't want hear that anymore.", "summary": "Feel like I totally forgot how to argue with boyfriends after an abusive relationship. Trying to confront my new boyfriend without coming off too aggressive but also want to stand my ground."} {"id": "t3_xlysn", "subreddit": "books", "title": "I just wrote a 200 page science fiction/fantasy novel and will continue to write two, if not three more, but I need the help of this subreddit if it would not mind.", "post": "I just sent the completed, unedited novel to the U.S. Copyright Office via pdf file and paid the registration fee. I'm a little paranoid(whether justified or not) that someone may steal the pdf and blast it on the internet in it's pdf form or that someone may take the pdf version of my novel and claim it as their own. So I'm looking for some good word of mouth editors and publishers. I've been looking up some online and reading testimonials, but I know that some testimonials are paid for by the website themselves and besides, I'm looking for a editor and publisher(combined or separate) that has a good track record or one that treats authors better than others.", "summary": "Looking for good editor/publisher that gives the personal touch, not the corporate touch. Please try to refrain from puns."} {"id": "t3_4uudh3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [30m] with my SO's [30f] best friend [28m]. He turned to us for advice last night. And we are not 100% sure what to tell him.", "post": "My girlfriends best guy friend, let's call him N stopped by at our place last night. He just started dating and went exclusive with a girl he had a crush on for almost a year now. So he is really happy... except: \nLast NYE he was with her and his best friend and some more friends on a party somewhere in a pretty boring city. And finally they kissed and made out. Needless to say he was pretty happy. \n\nPlot twist:\nHis best friend B. made a move on that girl C that very same night and went home with her for a ONS. Friendship over. N did cut all ties with him and her. \n\n2 weeks later he met C's sister and they talked, had a few drinks and had a ONS themselves. \nFast forward 3 months N and C somehow met again and made up, started dating and this is where we are now. \nThey talked a lot and she apologized even more and kept asking him to forgive her for that night and trust her again. So he did and they came to terms again. \n\nExcept he never told her he slept with her sister. \nHe asked us whether he should. We told him yes, absolutely but \nthe tricky part for us was we couldn't tell him how. \nIt would be a lie and very hypocritical to not tell her. \nAlso I added the sooner the better gf disagreed. \n\nN and C are going on a vacation next week and he is pretty worried how this will come out. \n\nSo guys, what do you think. How and when should N tell her?", "summary": "guy's best friend slept with a girl he had a crush on, 2 weeks later he slept with her sister. How should he tell her after they are now exclusively dating?"} {"id": "t3_3hzpi4", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU: By \"safely removing\" my 64gb USB stick.", "post": "So this happened last night, but I was way too tired to post it in TIFU. Little back story got a new WiFi card for my PC, my PC does not have a CD drive so was using my old laptop to download the software, transfer it to a USB stick and take the files off that for the drivers to my PC.... On to the fuck up.\n\nAfter everything is happily finished downloading, I'm thinking I should really start treating my hardware with more respect, so I right click the little USB icon and click \"Safely eject USB flash drive\" everything seems fine, get the little notification everything is good. Turn on my PC, plug in the USB and than get USB error 43, \"device not recognized due to malfunction of device\" aka to all you untechsavy people its fried. Thanks a lot Microsoft!", "summary": "Tried to safely remove my USB stick for the first time in my life and that fucked up my 64 gb USB drive."} {"id": "t3_qc7zf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Help! I want to know if a website like this exists...", "post": "I tried googling it, but It's one of those things where I don't know *what* to google... \n\nAlright! \n\nYou know how chain \"mart\" stores (K-mart, Walmart) will sell the display models of items for super cheap once that item is discontinued?\n\nIs there a website where you can see what Tvs/Stereos/Riding mowers are soon to be discontinued, so that you can rush to walmart and buy the 46\" LCD display TV for half off ?\n\nI literally saw a 50\" LED at Costco for $399 ***Just*** because it was the display model. If I'd known they had that deal, I would've brought the cash with me.", "summary": "I want a website where I can see what items are on their way out, so I can cheap my ass on over to walmart for a used TV."} {"id": "t3_2nno6h", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Looking for some advice on sex with my girlfriend.", "post": "Hey TwoX, I kind of would like your opinion or advice. Throw away because well, Incredibly personal.\nMy girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months, And we've only had sex once. When we started dating, Were totally open with eachother and she told me she'd only had sex one time, And So I was completely fine with waiting. On halloween though, She was excited to give it a try, Bought lingerie, We rented a hotel room while we were out of town partying, And long story short, We tried to have sex.\nHere's the problem, While we did sort of have sex, And I tried to do as much foreplay to make her comfortable and enjoy herself as possible, She didn't seem into it. When it actually happened it was more of a, her wincing alot and me asking alot if she was ok, And when she'd wince i'd try to pull out, And she'd try to pull me in, But afterwards she confided that all it did was hurt. She even said it hurt for two days after the fact.\nNow i'm completely ok with waiting as long as she wants or needs to. I'm not dating her because I want to have sex with her, I'm dating her because she's an amazing beautiful individual, Both mentally and Physically, And ever since we got together everything just kind of makes a bit more sense. She's fantastic, Honestly the girl of my dreams.\nBut I also worry, Because we had a talk and she said she is kind of scared or nervous to try again, And while I would wait, well, forever. I do worry that not having a healthy sexual relationship might sooner or later cause some problems, So here I am for advice, with a few questions.\nWhat's your opinion on the situation?, And if any of you have experienced the same sort of situation or feelings of physical pain, What did you do to get past them? Should I be worried about this situation at all?", "summary": "I love my girlfriend but sex hurts her and she's scared to try again. How can I make sex something we can both enjoy?"} {"id": "t3_3q95xp", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by sending a farting voice note", "post": "This just happened (CET). Have been flirting with this girl for many weeks now, have been unable to convert. I am close though, and we have a date lined up for this week. I woke up this morning, grabbed my phone and sent her a little \"have a good start to your week! :) :) :)\" message on whatsapp.\n\nstill on our conversation, i took the phone by its lower right corner between my thumb and index finger and reached back to place it above me on my shelf above my bed. As I reached back, I felt a big fart coming - the \"this is gonna really feel great to get out\" kind. I let rip. Long and hard. It was loud, and thundering. The bed shook a bit. A subconscious \"ahhhhh yess\" joined the symphony.\n\nJust as I put the phone down, I felt it buzz. Confused, I looked at the screen. Why had it sent a voice note to this beautiful girl I so looked forward to seeing on Thursday? Weird.\n\nUnbeknownst to me, I had activated a voice note with my thumb. I hit play, only to discover a perfect recording of my loud asshole trumpeting to the high heavens.\n\nShe has listened to the voice note. She has not responded.", "summary": "Accidentally recorded a voice note on whatsapp of me farting and sent it to my crush. Super-dooper pooper."} {"id": "t3_1ui81j", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My girlfriend [F/24] caught me [M/24] doing drugs on new years at my house party. She is livid. What do I do?", "post": "Been dating for 4 years. I was doing cocaine with some friends in my bedroom on NYE and hid it from my girlfriend by locking my room door and telling her that my friends were just rolling joints in the bedroom. I did it a couple times but basically stayed out of the room all night. The issue really comes down to me lying to her about what was going on that night - the coke isn't as big of an issue. She hates the idea of me doing it, and I have probably only done it 3 times in my life. It's really about the lying.\n\nHer reasons for being upset are as follows (PS I think she's totally right and I'm a complete asshole for doing this).\n\n1. I lied to her\n2. I lied to her in front of people who knew I was lying to her\n3. She wasn't able to even access my bedroom and didn't feel at home in my house (which she should because she is here all the time. I get it)\n4. Because I did coke\n\nThe worst part is she caught me in another lie when we were talking about what happened, which obviously made things way worse. Now I am a liar and she says she needs a break. I have literally never lied to her before in my life. This is the first time we've gotten into a fight over a lie. I don't care about the drugs (I don't have to ever do it again), I just want to patch things up. It obviously wasn't worth it. She is more upset with me than I have ever seen her be. I'm terrified.\nI've already apologized (the night of, and several times in person after) and I've admitted I was wrong about everything. But I don't think it's enough. I understand she is upset, I realize the magnitude of the situation but I don't think it's worth breaking up over this.", "summary": "My girlfriend of 4 years caught me doing coke and wants to breakup because of the lying. I don't want to break up. "} {"id": "t3_2jv8ho", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20/F] caught my dad [~60/M] browsing backpage. How do I confront him?", "post": "I'm going to let you know straight up (for those who like reading drama) that he is divorced and isn't in a relationship. \n\nSome background:\nSome time ago I was on his computer. In the browser, I started typing \"beach\" and up came a long list of auto fill URLs that have our city in it (ends in beach). I didn't have any proof it was him as it could have also been my brother who also uses that computer randomly (though he doesn't live with us).\n\nActual story:\nLast night, I came home with my dad and boyfriend from a dinner at a restaurant. My dad had had a Margarita and a beer ( I promise this is relevant). So, when we got home, I went to take my boyfriend back home and we were gone for only 15 minutes or so. \nI get back home and can't find my dad anywhere. I called him a few times because my grandma is in the hospital so I wasn't sure if something went wrong and he went to see her. I also called the hospital and they told me she was fine. \nI thought that was pretty weird that he seemingly waiting until I left so that he could leave. \nI noticed his computer screen was on so he must've used it before he left. I thought, \"Maybe he saw something that made him leave?\" So, I checked his history. I find several backpage links that were viewed *that day* and a lot about supposed massages. Others were more obvious about what they were. \nHe finally called me back after an hour or so to tell me he \"went out for a beer.\" That doesn't make sense to me since he already had 2 drinks before leaving AND he had to wake up early for work the next day. I told him I didn't believe him but left it at that. \n\nHow do I confront him? Should I? He will likely try to change the issue onto me snooping on him to avoid talking about it and he'd likely flat out lie (assuming he did do what I think he did).\nWhat do you think?", "summary": "caught my dad browsing backpage and he ended up leaving the same day at a random time after looking at the site."} {"id": "t3_3005b0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[26/m] Not sure how to address girl's [24/f] drug use.", "post": "*", "summary": "Dating a girl that does drugs more frequently than she led on to. She wants to make our relationship more serious, but this could be a deal breaker. Just not sure how to bring it up because this can be a sensitive topic."} {"id": "t3_tle2k", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, my brother is blatantly ignoring all internet safety precautions. How to fix this issue?", "post": "Obvious throwaway for starters.... I use a common tag through many sites.\n\nHere's my issue. My brother (almost 15) has now become extremely independent. He isn't doing very well in school, impossible to catch, and is really stressing out my parents.\n\nI have suspected for a decently long period of time that facebook/IMs are the root cause of the problem. I told my parents and they told him to close them while he's working, but there's no way of further checking since he'll hide his screen every time someone comes by (big red flag).\n\nToday, I broke a ground rule and checked what he was doing while he had gone to the bathroom since he just blacks his screen out (obviously without his permission).\n\nWhat I found was rather disturbing. He had a chat open with someone who I'm 99% sure he didn't know (ASL, picture request etc.... Not even on omegle, on Yahoo messenger). He pretends to be reasonably technology+internet savvy but my confidence in him in these matters is close to 0.\n\n**So Reddit, my question to you is how to bring this issue up with him/parents?**\n\nI can't tell them how I found out about his transgressions, because I'll get into massive amounts of trouble for breaking trust. If I just use anecdotal hints/examples he'll just deny everything. Also, I'm not sure if he'd learn anything from being lectured or if he'd just find a way to go around a possible chat block.\n\nMy thought was to drag him outside and give him my current external screen so that everything that he does will be viewable to people behind him. This only will not work.\n\nI need suggestions on how to 1) Stop his behaviour and 2) How to get internet safety into his head?", "summary": "Brother breaking all the basic rules of the internet. I can't bring it up to parents without admitted I've broken his trust, although he could be putting himself in some deep shit. Advice/Common Experiences?"} {"id": "t3_jr3ra", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Priority list for someone who's about to lose the internet.", "post": "Dear Reddit,\nIn a couple of weeks I'm being sent of to some hoighty toighty, fancy boarding school for the next couple years. I'm not too keen on the idea, seeing as it involves me leaving a whole bunch of family and friends behind BUT ALSO (and most regrettably) it has no internet connection provided...Meaning I'm losing access to a huge world of procrastination I've been delving in for a long time now (First world problems amiright?).\nANYWAY, what I ask you is what you guys would recommend I download while I still can to pass the time during my stay at this academy. And don't hold back on anything, I have a huge hard drive (tee hee) ready to store a whole bunch of stuff. I'm talking anything! Games, tv shows, movies, programs, ebooks, podcasts, music. Would really appreciate the help with this one, although I realize it's a pretty broad spectrum and this post most probably won't see the light of day before it's down voted into into oblivion (a game I already own. So no need to advise I get that one :P)", "summary": "Recommend me stuff for two years of little to no internet access. e.g games, movies, tv shows, ebooks, podcasts, music etc."} {"id": "t3_ra08z", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My girlfriend referred to me as \"my friend\" in front her friend...did I overreact?", "post": "I helped my girlfriend out today picking up discarded books at public libraries for her project. She needed my truck to load up all the books. We fill my truck and drive into the city to drop them off at school. I also had class at 6. We get stuck on traffic, eventually we get there around 6:40. I'm late as fuck, so she calls her friend down from the dorms and she was like \"hey I was wondering if you could bring down a bin so I can load up all the books because my friend has to go to class\" as soon as she said this I was like \"WTF!?\" but didn't say anything and I was like \"get out of the car and lock the door\" and she immediately knew she fucked up and she was like \"what's wrong!?\" but I didn't have time to argue so I just went to class. \n\nDuring class she sends me a text saying \"hey sorry I wasn't thinking. We got invited to go out so I hope you didn't make any plans.\" \n\nAt this point I was like FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!! After 3 years of brig together she calls me her friend. It came out so natural. Almost as if shes referred to me as her friend so many times whenever she speaks to them about me, I'm just her friend. I don't know if she hides me or something or doesn't want anyone on her class to know she has a boyfriend. She's in college. \n\nAfter class I made plans to grab a beer with a friend and she was waiting for me after class, I walked right past her and I told her me and my friend were getting bears. She stood there all sad. Now I feel kinda bad because I feel like I overreacted. \n\nWhat would you do?", "summary": "girlfriend for 3 years referred to me as her friend on the phone with some dude from her class and I lost my shit. Now I feel like an asshole cause I may overreacted a little"} {"id": "t3_3szw0u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18m] brother [13] just got a girlfriend while I've never had one. Now everyone I know is making fun of me for it.", "post": "Basically everyone I know is pestering me about this and it really bugs me that 1: I've never had a girlfriend and 2: my little brother of 5 years got one before me. It's getting under my skin a lot even though I don't really show it (which I think has made people sort of stop with the bugging part as they're trying to get a reaction from me but I just shrug it off like I don't care). \n\nIt's not like I'm some social outcast it's just that I never felt the need to ask a girl out when I was younger but now I regret it a ton, especially when I look back and think about how close I was with some girls and realize they were waiting for me to ask the question. Anyway just want some advice on how I should handle these feelings & how to get people to stop bugging me without sounding whiny and butt hurt.", "summary": "brother 5 years my lesser has a gf while I've never had one. This coupled with my regret of never having a girlfriend and people bugging me about this fact got me down and depressed atm."} {"id": "t3_3rf2d9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My mom [51F] acts like a toddler and it's driving me [23F] nuts.", "post": "My mother [51] and I [23F] used to have a fantastic relationship. We would go shopping together, we called each other every day if we were apart, and I could tell her anything. Then she got into a car accident which nearly scalped her.\n\nEver since then, she has changed. She focuses solely on herself and acts like a toddler or teenager. She only buys name brand clothes, always wears heavy amounts of makeup, and frequents the local tanning salon. Needless to say, I find it increasingly more difficult to be around her. I am now forced to be a mother figure to my sister [19] because of her ideals.\n\nNow, my fianc\u00e9 [24M] and I are planning our wedding and my mother's attitude is intolerable. She has taken it upon herself to look into the catering, but has become so focused on this, that she no longer cares about the rest of the wedding. She told me, \"I want the food to be perfect because I'm going for the food because I don't dance.\"\n\nI am constantly getting bombarded by my mother about the catering and she is concerned with nothing else. I feel as if she has lost sight of her family and is stressing me out about the wedding.", "summary": "Advice needed on fixing the relationship between me [23F] and my mom [51F] who acts like a toddler."} {"id": "t3_t9ku3", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Asked her out, all is going well, then BOOM, she's seemingly afraid to commit to more-than-friends. Advice?", "post": "I (21M) have known her (21F) for quite some time through mutual friends but we'd never really been introduced until recently. We go to different universities, only about an hour apart, but we spent some time together over winter break after I formally introduced myself and politely asked her out, etc. After our third date or so, I talked to her in person about how she felt about us. She seemed caught off-guard a bit and said she really liked me. I mentioned that maybe we could be more serious than just friends and she side-stepped it tactfully. Fast forward a few days, we go see a hockey game or something and when I'm dropping her off after, she mentions that she's afraid to commit with us going back to school soon for the semester. Her words, IIRC.. \"I always come away from spending time with you feeling very positively. I just don't know if I can commit to much for now. I do enjoy you very much.\" \n\nShe's mentioned that she has never been in a serious relationship and she is very conservative, even more so than I am (and I consider myself to be pretty conservative). Based on how well we get along, I get the feeling that she really likes me but is afraid to take the step into the relationship zone as it is relatively new ground for her.\n\nSince January we've talked a bit through text and facebook, and we met up for a bit during a weekend where we were both home, but I still have feelings for her and I want to know how she honestly feels. We're both mature adults and I don't want to play games. I want to just be honest with her and tell her how I feel and get her input. Would a facebook message or a text be too informal? I don't really want to take her out again just to find out that she isn't interested because I'd be a little embarrassed after putting so much thought and effort into our relationship.", "summary": "We're both conservative young adults, she's not been in a serious relationship. I have feelings for her but she seems afraid to commit. I feel like it's a delicate situation and I'd love a little input."} {"id": "t3_hzkt9", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Going to the vet today. Don't want to make this visit...", "post": "I don't know why I'm even writing this, save for maybe it's a bit cathartic. Our 14 year old lab is just breaking down one piece at a time. There's no catastrophic illness (that would actually make it easier - on me anyway), just an aggregation of lots of little and maybe some big things. I'm taking her to the vet today for an evaluation by the doctor. I don't have a ton of money for extreme measures, nor do I think that's necessarily fair. I am prepared to leave without her if that's what has to happen. I'm just sad and have a great big knot in my stomach. Now that I've made a list of her issues, I'm actually afraid I should have made this trip sooner. I feel like a terrible dog owner. Among the symptoms she has, I'm most afraid of congestive heart failure. Here is what we have observed recently:\nExcessive panting while not exercising (possible symptom of CHF), \nTires rapidly with any outdoor activity (possible symptom of CHF), \nOccasional gagging coughs (possible symptom of CHF), \nRandom single barks at nothing in particular (Doggie dementia?), \nAimless wandering (Doggie dementia?), \nDocumented severe arthritis in her hips (treated with Meloxicam), \nRecent change in eating habits (doesn't always eat when fed.), \nFrequent skin cysts, & \nHearing loss", "summary": "Going to the vet for possible last trip. Don't want to go, but have to. Feel like a bad pet owner for not seeing signs sooner."} {"id": "t3_4h0cp0", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "PSA: Read the damn labels! (TIFU)", "post": "*", "summary": "I wasn't putting into account the brand name when I logged in \"white rice\" on mfp and just found out I've been eating like an extra 350 calories per meal."} {"id": "t3_1meabi", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Should I/How do I become a life coach?", "post": "Reddit friends, I am in a bit of a quandary. \n\nI feel incredibly drawn to this idea of life coaching, and I'll attempt to give some background as to why. I am young (25) and I've accomplished a great deal already and, most importantly, am incredibly happy in my current social and professional life. \n\nI have a wonderful job that I love and don't ever feel like I'm actually working. I have very acute passions, ones that I've actively pursued and integrated into my daily life. I'm a bit of a rogue entrepreneur, and am in the process of finishing up the creation of both a business and an arts and culture blog, both of which are near and dear to my heart. \n\nTo be brief, I am totally consumed with empathy and assisting others with the discovery of their spark. I'm known amongst my friends as someone with a hugely positive, enthusiastic disposition on life and a borderline psychotic determination to follow my heart and gut. I spend all my free time reading Ken Robinson and Daniel Goleman and others, who are defining the impetus for a fulfilling life. I am also, constantly and consistently, the person who my friends turn to for advice and guidance. I feel an unearthly push towards life coaching but I have no idea where to start, whether it's a good option, or how to build a clientele. Please help.", "summary": "Happy, Successful, positive empathic person obsessed with the theory behind creativity, innovation, happiness, and success needs advice on life coaching."} {"id": "t3_3296jw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my bosses [F,F,M mid 20's] Once again have not sent me a schedule for the upcoming week.", "post": "I'm really just asking if my solution is the best, if I can tweak something or scrap it all together.\n\nFor background info, I started working there in late January, work super part time, and don't enjoy working there at all. I'm already looking for a new job but it's been proving difficult.\n\nAnyway, for the past FOUR weeks I've had to chase down a manager for the upcoming week's schedule, and they usually make it the Thursday or Friday before. The work week starts on Sunday. I've now held off for four weeks booking various appointments, haven't been able to make plans with friends, and now work the weekends, despite making it clear I could not due to other commitments and the fact that my bus doesn't run (I'm from the next town over) between my town and theirs on the weekends, so I've had to take cabs or rely on a family member or friend to get to work.\n\nWell, I couldn't hold off on making these appointments any further, and it's the day before the new work week and I still haven't gotten the schedule. My solution is just to politely explain why I can't make it (I have an appointment just about every day of the week) and that I have a life and if they expect me to be able to come to work, I need notice. And just not show up. This is getting kind of insane and I've been having lots of anxiety over it for a while. What should I do?", "summary": "my job never has the schedule out in time, I won't be able to make it now because I had to make appointments, need advice."} {"id": "t3_1rh90q", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Psychotic episode after smoking weed. Could this indicate underlying problem?", "post": "This happened a few years ago now, not entirely sure what question it is im asking. Could this hint at an underlying problem? So the story goes like this. I had cut back smoking due to anxiety whenever i smoked and was currently in therapy for just a lot of shit (my therapist was big on meditation not medication). It was 4/20 and i had not smoked for two weeks prior due to a most unpleasant experience, my buddy had a joint to share with friends so we go off behind a pizza place to smoke. I take one toke, one big haul and hold it in for about 10 seconds. We proceed to head into school as first period is about to start. The first 20 minutes were alright sat in class, talked with my friend for a bit, then it got bad. As i sat there everything got louder, i got nervous, people sounded like they were talking right next to me i could hear the buzz of every individual light in the room the air coming from the vents, i was getting twitchy. I thought \"meditation\" i laid my head on my desk in an attempt to relax. I didn't work, like mid air during a cannonball everything went silent, i was gone for a moment. Bam! Back to reality i was twitching every 5-10 seconds (at least i think i could not perceive time). Then it started one voice a demonic voice was speaking in my ear words/nonsense i could not understand it. I endured this until the end of class at which point i went outside told my friends i was going home. Went home went to sleep woke up fine (sort of).", "summary": "took a puff off a joint, twitched in class for 30 minutes give or take while a demon talked to me."} {"id": "t3_hhzgi", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need some advice - 5 years in a long-distance relationship, now want to move in together, jobs incompatible. What to do?", "post": "This is my first time posting on reddit, so please be kind.\n\nI've been in a 5 year long-distance relationship with a guy I love so so much, and feelings are mutual. We get along great, enjoy the same things, are each others' best friend, and our lives are based around each other.\n\nWe have been discussing for at least a year or two to move in with each other (he lives in a country 500+ km away) and I was planning on moving there and finding a job after my current job finishes (this year). The language barrier of moving to another country is not so much an issue (I have lived in this country before as a child for 10 years). Haven't applied for any jobs yet as we weren't sure of how this would be going.\n\nThe issue at hand is that his job has recently changed and he will be doing night shifts (12 midnight to 9 am) for at least a year, if not more. I work changing shifts which I have now gotten used to doing (work as a doctor so my shifts vary from 9-5, long day weekdays and weekends, to occasional night shifts as well).\n\nOur relationship has come to an end because we can't find a solution to the problem - how can we live together and work in our own jobs and further our career, without ever seeing each other, except for once a week on the weekends? We feel both work and our relationship are equally as important, and can't bear to give up either.\n\nHas anyone been in this position? How have you worked through it? Any further advice anyone can give me? I am at a complete loss. None of our friends have gone through something similar so they can't give any advice.", "summary": "long distance relationship ending after 5 years despite plans to move in together due to jobs clashing, as will be devastating to relationship; advice please!"} {"id": "t3_3lgby7", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "My best friend hooked up with a girl I have been getting over for months", "post": "Last night, my friend met up with me at a bar, we left to meet up with these two girls who we've known for a few months. Friends, but I was actually into one of them for awhile, we talked about it and we decided not to do it, but we kept hooking up. Ive told my friend that its been an issue for me, I think about her alot, we wouldnt work, but I was an admirer. \n\nMy best friend knew this, knew i was having troubles moving past her and all.\n\nBasically, what happened is that as the night went on, one of the girls leaves, leaving the one who i do stuff with. Over the rest of the night i notice they were kind of cuddled up. I didnt think anything of it, \n\nI went to the bathroom, heard some noises and walked out. They started asking me a lot of questions, not talking to eachother really. Very weird, but they both know the score. \n\nI went for a cigarette, she came out and was weirdly chatty, like she was trying to keep me from being suspicious. My heart knew something was up at this point, but I fought it down\n\nFinally, I went to bed, offered her a spot, figured shed come in later. Got out of bed after 10ish minutes. The couch was empty.\n\nIt was happening.\n\nI went to the bathroom, and heard noises from downstairs, the second common space. I walk down, and saw them together. Not yet coitus, but well on the way. Thats burned into my brain now.\n\nI told them to get out and went upstairs so i didnt react violently, my friend left. the girl stayed for awhile, she was a bit drunk, I woke her up later and kicked her out, but it was already late so I waited until there was light. they are gone now. In the course of a night, I lost my best friend of 3 years and a girl friend who I thought would atleast do right by me.", "summary": "Friend get with girl I like, I find them, kick them out. I could have stopped it if i had only said something earlier. I'm alone now."} {"id": "t3_3k98ez", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [32 M] an American living in Taiwan with my Chinese GF [26 F]. She us awesome except for one thing: She's racist.", "post": "I'm a white American teaching English in Taiwan. My gf is from China but also lives in Taiwan. I love her to death, but she's racist. She'll say negative things about Africans, Indians, etc. I tell her how uncomfortable it makes me and how I don't share her beliefs, but she has these convictions and she's not about to change them. \n\nI understand that she didn't grow up in a PC environment. I'm not about to suggest that my viewpoint is superior or that I'm somehow enlightened and have to bring her up to my level. I'm just wondering if anyone in a cross-cultural relationship has dealt with something similar.", "summary": "I love my Chinese gf, but she's racist as fuck. Has anyone experienced something similar, and how did you resolve it?"} {"id": "t3_4j8syf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19/M] just had an argument with my GF [17/F].", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now and since prom season is coming around my GF talked about trying to lose a little bit of weight. When she brought it up I was happy and supporting and even offered to diet and work out with her since its something she wanted to do. \n \n However, today when we were talking she brought up how she's literally eaten \"nothing\" all day and when I told her she should eat something she told me she didn't want to eat until the next day. When I asked about it she said it was because of her diet. I ended up having a conversation with her about crash dieting and why it doesn't work, but instead she just got mad at me and told me she didnt care and that she had already done the research and refused to eat anything. We ended up arguing because of her refusing to eat. Near the end of the argument she said she \"ate\" and told me to stop arguing and I told her that I didn't believe her and she got more fed up. It ended with us both not wanting to talk to each other and she pretty much told me, \"Don't talk to me until you drop this.\" \n \n Now I'm sitting here pretty much clueless on what to do because I just want her to be healthy while she loses weight and not crash diet and potentially hurt herself and it doesn't sound like she's listening to reason at all. She has a history of not caring what happens to herself so when she said she \"didn't care\" about the health problems I just got more upset. I understand that I was a little pushy and that maybe my mindset was a bit controlling, but I was just unsure what to do.", "summary": "My girlfriend started a crash diet and I got upset when she told me and we had a super heated argument. Unsure on what to do next now that she won't talk to me?"} {"id": "t3_3qcpkt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (22f) pretty sure my parents are going to kick me out.", "post": "Sorry for this mess of a story but this literally just happened and I have no coherent thought process. These are my parents...what happened to unconditional love? \n\nSo I was taking prereqs to become a nurse. The deadline is soon and I was rushing through the hardest classes I've ever taken. Sadly, today I had to drop two of those classes because I'm failing and there's no way to catch up with so little time left, so, no deadline for me. \n\nOf course I had to tell my parents because they are paying for all of it. They're disappointed of course but they told me that maybe nursing isn't the way I should go and I should go for something easier and more \"my level\" like a business degree. They were the ones pushing me to go for nursing and now they're basically telling me I'm not smart enough for it. \n\nMy plan was to finish this semester and take a break to figure it all out instead of wasting their money. They don't see that as a plausible path for me since the \"deal\" of me living with them is that I'm in school. \n\nNow, mind you, I moved 3000 miles to be with them, go to school, and get away from an abusive relationship. I'm pretty sure they will kick me out if I don't go to school even for one semester. And I honestly don't know what to do.\n\nI've been trying so hard for the last 2 years with nothing coming out of this. They just keep getting more and more disappointed and I can't seem to change that.", "summary": "I'm not so sure school is ever going to work out for me and my parents might kick me out for that reason."} {"id": "t3_28rfhw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my Friend [18 F] Need some quick advice", "post": "So I've been friends with this girl for about 3 or 4 years now, we started dating when we first met but shortly afterwards we stopped because she wasn't feeling the relationship. We stayed friends afterwards and became quite close.\n\nWe have been best friends since then and we care a lot about each other. I'm going hanging out at her house in about 2 weeks, we were joking about what to do when i got there while texting, and i jokingly asked if i could feel her breasts and butt,to my shock she said she wanted to snuggle up to me and said i could feel her breasts and see them if i wanted to,she said to do it during the movie, im wondering how i should go about the process of feeling her up without it seeming weird, she said she doesn't want to make out and just wants to be close to me, and cuddle while I'm there. Shes a really nice girl and i want to minimize the awkwardness.\n\nCan i get some advice on how to go about the process of feeling her up and reducing the awkwardness.", "summary": "Friend who is a girl said i could feel her breasts and see them, nothing more. Need tips. Appreciate it"} {"id": "t3_1m0x0m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18/f] of 8 months broke up with me [18/m] and i'm having a hard time dealing with it", "post": "So my GF of 8 months just broke up with me. Reason being is because I let my anger get to me. Its been around 8 times that this has happen and when I do get angry I go all out, mostly yelling A LOT and make false accusations most of the time. After my last lash out she ended it. Because she doesn't believe that I will ever get over it. I would also tell her that I would get help or talk to people if I ever got angry so I would lash out on her, well I never did until now. After the break up I realized that she would actually do it since I was given a few last chances before.\n\n Well after talking to two of my friends everything seemed 100 times better then it could have. I felt stupid for never doing this before. Either way she doesn't want to get back even though she says she loves me a lot and it hurts her to do this because she doesn't believe that I will actually change. I want to convince her somehow that I will. Even one of the friends I talked to agreed that it seemed like I would change but she just wont believe me. I also don't blame her.\n\n Anyway I just don't know what to do. should I just give up on her or should I try to convince her? Reason being that its so hard to just give up is because I really tried by best at being a good boyfriend. I even decided to not go to UNT but instead ACC to be with her. \n\nAnd for some reason ever since the break up my body rejects any kind of food. I haven't eaten it 3 days and feel completely fine. If i even try I will feel the need to throw up. I just need help on how to just try and get over her. I'm just having a really hard time right now and don't know what to do. whats worse is she want to be best friends now because she doesn't want to lose me completely. which I do too but its really hard.", "summary": "I don't know if I should give up because I know that I can change for her or if I should just become best friends and learn to deal with it."} {"id": "t3_37mv3o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [40F] with my neighbor [60sF] concerned about her taking diet pills to lose weight", "post": "My neighbor is an older woman and she hasn't been in the best of health in the past couple of years. She's gained weight that she wants to lose, but when I brought up talking about her diet she brushed me off. A few days later she told me she got prescription appetite suppressants from the doctor. \n\nThis makes me feel concerned, but should I push her to try to look at her diet and see if there are changes she can make before she tries the diet pills or should I just leave it alone and whatever happens, happens?\n\nAnd if I do say something, what could I say to convince her that diet pills are not the way to go?", "summary": "Older woman wants to diet pills to lose weight, seems like a bad idea, worth saying something to talk her out of it?"} {"id": "t3_gul6i", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "How to deal with non-supportive people?", "post": "Hi loseit, I was curious if anyone else has experienced this and could share some sound advice.\n\nMy closest female friend throughout high school and college (yes, I'm male, but we're *just* great friends!) really motivated me to start going to the gym after my doctor told me I needed to drop some weight, or else I'd have health problems down the line: arthritis, fatty liver, etc.\n\nWell, two weeks ago I finally accomplished my short-term weight loss goal and dropped 20 lbs. -- I'm now working to drop another 20 -- and was super excited to tell her! So I texted her right after weighing myself at the gym, and her response frankly appalled me:\n\n*Only 20 pounds?*\n\nI nearly flipped my wig when I read it. Someone who I loved like a sister and always turned to for moral support suddenly dropped me on my ass like a bad habit. I explain to her how surprised/hurt I was by her comment and she says:\n\n> I won't say anything about the matter. You want to lose weight, go ahead. If you don't, doesn't affect me. But when you wonder why girls don't like you, don't look to far.\n\nWe used to chat daily, but we haven't said a word to each other in 2 weeks. I feel great now that I've lost weight, my confidence has improved, but I still feel kind of betrayed by someone who I thought was my best friend. Should I even bother to find closure or try to make amends, or move on with my life?", "summary": "Best friend supports my weight-loss journey, I drop 20 lbs. and she shits on my accomplishment. What do?"} {"id": "t3_2bhxmq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16M] am in a verbally abusive relationship with my girlfriend [17F] and i don't know what to do", "post": "I am a 16 year old male in a relationship with a 17 year old female. We've been dating for 6 months and things are shaky. She's broken up with me twice (high school relationships lol) and she has a blatant disregard for my feelings. She tromps all over me and doesn't respect me and doesn't treat me as an equal. She's controlling and quite frankly stressful. She also is managing to lower my self esteem while she's at it. I'd say this is a borderline verbally abusive relationship from her to me and I don't know how to get out of it. \n\nI'm becoming more and more depressed because of it and my self esteem is at an all time low because she treats me like im trash and she doesn't see it. She is a nice girl at heart I know, but quite frankly she's really hurting me over and over again. \n\nI don't want to hurt her by breaking up with her, but \nI'm miserable and becoming depressed and stressed out because of this relationship. Every time I try to talk to her about these specific things she shuts me down and guilt trips me and makes me feel worse. But for some reason I still really like her even though I'm hurting. How do I handle this situation?! Please help!", "summary": "I'm miserable in my relationship because it's verbally abusive and degrading and I don't know what to do. Please help!"} {"id": "t3_v916y", "subreddit": "running", "title": "my Feet are rejecting every pair of running shoes I attempt to run in.", "post": "Hey guys, I'm going into my 4th year of high school xc and am encountering problems with new shoes. This all started during December/ Jan, when I went to get new shoes for track, I tried 4 pairs from my local running store, putting a weeks worth of miles on each of them but they all still ended up hurting my feet and tightening my legs. So i gave up and ran in Nike Xc flats for the season not encountering problems. fast forward to now my flats are worn out, so I have to buy new shoes again, So i pick up a pair of Nike streak XC flats, after putting on 25 miles om them I'm noticing that my left foot goes numb and my left leg slowly tightens while my right foot starts to hurt on the bottoms of the feet, I should mention that my flats are 11.5 while I wear 11 s they have undesired wiggle room. \n\nI have no idea what to do, I'm at a lost for ideas on how to solve this problem. Any advice AT ALL would much appreciated.I'm going Insane because every time I run i end up in a world of foot pain", "summary": "trainers hurt my feet ran a track season in flats no problem fast forward to xc conditioning said flats are unusable need new shoes don't know what to do"} {"id": "t3_vjxg4", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "First RoadBlock in First Relationship m18", "post": "Basic Info We are both 18. First relationship for both of us and been going out for 2 weeks. We have been friends for months and coworkers.\n\nLast date she was acting distant. We talked and she said she still has feeling for a guy(also coworker) she liked for two years. They have done nothing unlike us.( Me and her have done everything but sex)\n\nShe has told him 3 times different times about her feelings. Nothing happend. She also didnt get a yes or no. She said they were about to go out a while back but he didnt want to make an another guy jealous. Again nothing happend. They did go to prom together but he didn't want to hang out with her after prom. \n\nShe tried forgeting about him before but she couldnt. the first time i asked her out( month ago) she said no. Her excuse was she has liked a guy for too long. then couple weeks later i asked her out and she said yes. \n\ni asked why she changed her mind her response \" your the first guy i regretted saying no to, i said fuck it and said yes\"\n\nShe wants to get over him but doesnt know how to. We are still together.", "summary": "Girlfriend liked a guy before me, she told him before about her feeling. nothing happend. she has trouble getting over him."} {"id": "t3_icgri", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I have this strange rash, any idea what it is and if it is serious?", "post": "Created a throwaway cause its somewhat embarrassing.\n\nAnyways, I was playing soccer last Friday and I forgot to wear compression shorts and instead wore boxer briefs. We were out there for an extended period of time and I do not know whether it is from the sweat buildup or what but over the next two days (I played Ultimate Frisbee on Saturday and forgot my compression shorts AGAIN), I developed a rash on the inside of my thighs and my groin area, which causes it to itch like hell. Some of the skin seems to be peeling off and whatnot so I do not know if this is serious or not. I've tried looking up what it is possibly is and I am fairly certain it is either a \"sweat rash\" or \"jock itch\". So far I got myself some antifungal powder and have been using it to see if it goes away. Any ideas on if this is serious or not or if I should get it checked out?", "summary": "After physical activity, weird rash is on my thigh and groin. Itches like hell and is slightly painful, have no clue what the fuck it is and need to know whether or not I should get it checked out."} {"id": "t3_4u6esv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My parents [M 55; F48] won't stop giving me [F 21] unsolicited advice.", "post": "I just graduated college and moved back in with my parents. I just got a job and am now saving up to get my own apartment, but it will take a few months until I can afford my own place.\n\nMy parents have always given me unsolicited advice or just plain lectures about how I should behave. It's always bothered me, but now I'm just fed up with it. Sometimes it's small stuff like how I should look them in the eye more, or be more cheerful, or start conversations more. Sometimes it's about \"being more aggressive\" with job hunting or life in general.\n\nI've gotten to where I point out that it bothers me that they always criticize me, to which they reply something like \"don't get defensive - you need to learn to take advice and listen.\"\n\nHonestly it feels incredibly overbearing, but they seem to think it is completely normal. So basically they're criticizing me for being unhappy with their criticisms!\n\nNot living with them throughout college really helped (though it wasn't perfect) because whenever we were together, they would actually talk/have fun with me instead of constantly pointing out my faults, and we would only see each other for a few days at a time.\n\nWhat can I do or say to get them to lay off? It seems impossible to get anything across to them.", "summary": "My parents won't stop lecturing and criticizing me, and they don't listen when I say it bothers me. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1mlrx5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22/f] LDR bf [22/m] does not show he cares about me at all. The lack of affection is extremely unfulfilling. Should I just give up?", "post": "I have been with my bf (X) for a year and a half. We met while I was abroad, starting dating, and visit each other probably once every 3 months. We skype daily and have no problem keeping contact with one another. Overall, I would say our communication is great.\n\nThe problem is, X has reached the point where he is not affectionate at all, in person or otherwise. For instance, when I was in his country the last time, he was rarely physically affectionate. He never initiated sex or introduced any verbal affection. He would often ignore me to watch videos online of his favorite MMO. He'll say he loves me if I ask, but is overall very disinterested.\n\nNow that we are LDR again, it's even harder to feel loved. He claims that he's \"not good with words,\" but I really feel like he just doesn't even try. I feel love through verbal affection, and X has resigned himself to the belief that he isn't good at all with words and that I should accept that. I feel incredibly frustrated and unfulfilled.\n\nWhen we began dating, he was incredible about showing affection. I never felt unloved and was confident about our relationship, but lately I just feel so frustrated. Is there any way I can fix this?\n\nWhat could I possibly say to my boyfriend to make him show that he cares more?", "summary": "Formerly caring boyfriend no longer shows any affection. Does it mean he just doesn't care anymore? How can I get through to him?"} {"id": "t3_4usum5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [15 M] like my friend [15 F] of 1.8 years; don't know if I should pursue it, and how I even would.", "post": "The title is overly complicated, I didn't know how to word my situation.\n\nBasically, almost 2 years ago, I met my best friend (also 15 F)'s best friend, who we'll refer to as Gwen for this story. We're pretty good friends, and that's all I really thought of Gwen until a few months ago.\n\nAbout two months ago we were paired up for some end of the year school spirit bullshit, and for the majority of the time we were working on it, we were mostly just sitting around waiting to do something. So that led to us talking a lot, and we realized we had more mutual interests than we previously thought, and we had really good chemistry. But I had gone through some shit with my family about a month earlier and I wasn't in the mood to open up to a girl at that point. So I ignored how I was starting to feel. (I tend to do that a lot.)\n\nSo flash forward a month and a half. We're out of school, and the best friend that I mentioned at the beginning is having an end-of-the-school-year party, and both Gwen and I are invited. We hadn't really talked since the school year ended, but we still had really good chemistry. We've talked a bit since then, but it's been a bit limited since she's 8,000 miles away visiting family.\n\nI thought that once school started back up next month (although the thought of that is killing me tbh) maybe I could ask her out. But the question is, should I? Shouldn't I? How would I go about it? There's an event in December that I'd rather not go to alone as a single white teenage boy that looks like Egon Spengler, but at the same time I'm afraid that I'll make Gwen angry or lose her as a friend. I'm almost fine with being rejected, but I'm worried about what would come afterwards.", "summary": "I have a good friend who I really like. Don't know if I should pursue it in fear of A) rejection and B) losing her as a friend."} {"id": "t3_2nntno", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My husband (25m) of 5y thinks we don't have enough sex. I (26f) disagree.", "post": "So. When we first started dating, my hubby and I were disgusting animals who just humped for like, days at a time. Then we got married and had kids, who are now 2 & 4. We currently live with his mom, which definitely puts a serious damper on the romance. My husband is working 60+ hours a week right now as well, and has to be at work at 5am every day. I am a full-time student, up at 6am every day with the kids who I do pretty much everything for, as well as all meal prep and cleaning (his mom doesn't really clean or cook unless it's a holiday).\n\nI mean, just like adults everywhere, we have a lot on our plates right now. It sucks. We are tired. I fall asleep on the couch by 9pm many nights. The relationship with his mom is tense at best, and we are planning to move into our own place within the next 3mo. \n\nAll things considered, I think our sex life is still pretty healthy. There have been dry spells in the past (especially postpartum). We have (great) sex 2-5 times every week. Even when I'm on my period, he still gets BJs. He gets frustrated because we only have sex at night, but I'm like.... when the hell else are we supposed to do it?!?! He wants me to start waking up with him at 4am so we can have sex (or at least oral) before he goes to work. I am so not into that idea, and he has called me a dick multiple times for rejecting his advances in the mornings. He initiates more than I do, but I still make a conscious effort to be the initiator at least once a week (it's been a complaint in the past). I have been making more efforts to be physically loving and adoring as well, to make him feel more appreciated without the need for sex constantly. I've tried telling him that this is as good as it gets, that we have two young kids AND we live with his mom who has no sense of privacy, personal space, or boundaries. So what to do?", "summary": "Husband and I have sex between 2-5x per week, but he wants more. We have two young kids and live with his mom. I'm tired."} {"id": "t3_1x01ln", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "After a near year-long silence between my best friend [m25] of 10+ years and myself [f25], I want to put the past behind us and simply let him know I'm still here for him, but not sure how.", "post": "Long story short, after he started using drugs every day and essentially changed his entire personality (including bringing me to tears on many, many, many occasions), my s/o and I cut ties with the guy who was our best friend for 10+ years. \n\nI'm afraid that since we were really his only close friends for that decade, he doesn't have anyone to talk to about his life/problems/ etc etc. Before when I thought about him, I would just get angry, but now I have a massive pit in my stomach that I've completely let him down and used the anger as an excuse to not reconcile this hostility a long time ago. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose both of your best friends at once, and I can't seem to get that out of my head. \n\nI don't know if he'd even care to be friends again, but I want to at least tell him that I'm here if he ever needs me. Does anyone have a suggestion as to how I could reach out to him? I know that the responses are likely just going to be, \"Just talk to him,\" but I really don't know how.", "summary": "I want to be on talking terms again with my best friend and don't know how to go abouts doing that."} {"id": "t3_281tjm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "A guy [17 M] who works with my [21 M] girlfriend [18 F] of 5 months tried to kiss her", "post": "I have had been really close friends (like brother/sister) with this girl for 4 years. We started dating 5 months ago and both love each other. Because I went to college out of state, I live 900 miles from her.\n\nShe started working at a restaurant two weeks ago. A guy was assigned to supervise her after the manager had trained her. They quickly became friends (or so she thought).\n\nA couple days ago, he moved in to kiss her in the parking lot after work (off of store property). I visit every possible chance I have, but she said she let him kiss her because she was confused and caught off guard. She said she didn't feel anything during the kiss and felt so horrible afterwords that she went home and cried for 3 hours.\n\nShe doesn't want to claim harassment because she felt like she let him kiss her, and the kiss wasn't long enough for her to push him off or show resistance (although she frequently told him she is in a relationship before this happened). She also can't ask to work different shifts than him because she has to work nights and he works nights 5 or 6 days a week. I want her to talk to the manager, but she won't.\n\nRight now, I think our options are have me talk to the manager (with her consent) or have her find a new job. Finding a new job would be a hassle.\n\nAlso, what can I do? I feel so helpless since I'm so far away.\n\nThank you all very much!", "summary": "Guy kissed my girlfriend. She didn't like it, but she has to work with him. I live in another state. What do we do?"} {"id": "t3_z7w2z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [m24] have a friend [f20] who has personality disorder and I dont know what to do.", "post": "I won't leave this up for long because she \"used\" to be a redditor.\n\n I met this girl about 2 weeks ago. We really hit it off from the start and told me she was into me. I go to university about 2 hours away so when I was gone we would chat on skype everyday. Eventually she told me suddenly that she had 2 personalities. I didn't know anybody like that so she was a first. I didn't ask much about it and didn't know how it was triggered. \n\nSkip forward to present day and i'm back in my hometown. Her and I get a hotel room . I didn't think anything would happen but one thing lead to another and we started making out. She mentioned previously about how she didn't like being touch around the neck but I completely forgot being in the moment. At first nothing seemed wrong but she got really quit. She said I told you I dont like being touched there. She got up and sat on the side of the bed very still, not saying anything. She told me how she wasn't the other person anymore.\n\nWe talked for about 20 minutes. She asked what I saw in her other personality. How she's with someone but he's ignoring her and she took interest in me. Also if I thought she was crazy. I took her home early and she slammed my door on the way out saying not to hurt (emotionally) her other personality.\n\nI do like this girl but today really shook me up. I don't know what's going to happen, or what to say to her next time. I didn't know how to act during that experience so I tried not to say a lot. What do I do reddit?", "summary": "Friend I like has personality order and I accidently triggered it and things got weird. I dont know what to say to her next time."} {"id": "t3_4yq7gn", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Help with my GSD pup (4 months old)", "post": "Hey, posting from mobile so sorry for any formatting errors.\nDuke is a lovely, friendly and social puppy with lots of energy! He's perfect except for his barking, whining growling and lunging in three situations:\n\n1) When he sees a broom \n\n2) When you have something in your hand and he wants it\n\n3) And now most recently, the retractable leash. He didn't used to have a problem with it before, but now if he sees it in my hand he will start barking and growling and jumping up to get it. I usually give in to him cause even though he's only 4 months old, he's a big pup and he jumps almost up to my height! It's quite scary when he starts growling and gnashing his teeth all up in my face.\n\nWhen he has the leash, he'll start chewing it aggressively and whining at it. I really don't get what the issue is, maybe cause when I walked him I would stop when ever he would start to pull?? Why did he start this behaviour? \n\nAs for the toy thing, I feel like that's a really important behaviour to stop, because he needs to know that he isn't the \"pack-leader\". Any advice?", "summary": "puppy growls and lunges at me if i have something he wants, and has now started doing this to his retractable leash. I want it to stop- does anyone have any advice?"} {"id": "t3_1o3fdh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] asked out by my friend [19 F] that I'm not attracted to physically, but I kind of want to date her...", "post": "Little back story: I've known this girl for about 4 months. We go to school together and ended up in the same class. She isn't to pretty ( a terrible thing to say, but it's the truth) and I'm not attracted to her physically, but from the start she was obviously in to me. I never sent mixed signals and I kept everything strictly friendly. She's a really cool person and I think our personalities mesh really well. \n\nAnyways, she finally sent me an email saying that she has feelings for me and she asked me out on a date. Now I'm not really attracted to her looks, but I think I can get past that. Physical attraction can grow, right? The ideal situation would be to remain friends, but I don't think there's any going back at this point. If I say no everything would be awkward between us and I don't see the friendship continuing.\n\nOr I could say yes, and see how things work out. This is what I'm leaning towards right now. I think friendship is the most important part of dating, and I think I've made mistakes in the past by only dating based on looks. However I've never dated someone I'm not even remotely physically attracted to, so is this a bad idea?", "summary": "Girl I am friends with but aren't attracted to physically asked me out. Should I say no and basically end the friendship or say yes and hope physical attraction comes later?"} {"id": "t3_3so4cg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] with my friend [21F] who knows I have feels for her, wants to hang out while dating some other guy", "post": "I have been good friends with this girl through college and just started to grow feelings for her. It just so happens that she starts dating this guy at about the same time, and whenever they are not together, she comes to me for someone to hangout with. \n\nI usually try and play it off that I am busy because, honestly, I think I am just hurting myself by hanging out with her. Is it bad that I am basically lying, most of the time, to get myself out of a situation I don't want to be in? I have no idea how to be straight up with her about this because I may come off to her as slightly crazy and i don't want to ruin the friendship we have.", "summary": "girl I have feelings for gets boyfriend, wants to hangout with me, i don't want to hang out with her because the situation sucks"} {"id": "t3_41cjrh", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "My friend (18f) and I (18m) have know each other for about 6 months. Over the last month or so she has begun remarking out loud how amazing my eyes and smile are. What's this mean? If anything", "post": "So this girl and I (both 18) have known each other since the start of the summer, we were introduced by being in the same \"friend group\" at school. Over the last month or so, she repeatedly (at least once a week, like, 5 times last week) makes comments about how \"beautiful\" my eyes and smile are and says she loves looking at my eyes and it is at this point she'd proceed to stare for a little more than a few seconds (words like gorgeous, amazing, and beautiful have all been used by her to describe my eyes). I've never thought of her as someone that likes me, but a friend of mine pointed these things out to me. What's your guys/girls take on the situation? I'd like to note that these comments are always made with our other friends around, there is never any one on one conversation going on here.", "summary": "Girl says guys eyes and smile are beautiful and she loves staring at his eyes, what's this mean? I don't think she likes me or anything, just confused cause no one else says things about me like that."} {"id": "t3_3eu843", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (F/25) boyfriend (M/27) of 3 years can get really grumpy and withdrawn while travelling in small groups and it's offending my friends. How to deal?", "post": "Hi reddit, I'm looking for advice on how to approach my boyfriend about a trend I've been noticing lately. \n\nTo summarize, we'll be travelling for a few days with another couple (one of my close friends and her boyfriend) and something uncontrollable happens to make the situation less than ideal i.e., the weather sucks or a reservation gets messed up and he gets really grumpy, moody and withdrawn. It's happened more than once and with more than one couple, so it doesn't seem personal, but it is offending my friends and they're taking it personally. And he seems really uncomfortable. \n\nOn one hand, he is more of an introvert than I am and I'm not sure that there's something inherently wrong with just being in your own head... but the way he's doing it is offending my friends (and sometimes myself) and I would like to have our future trips go more smoothly. \n\nAny tips or insight to deal with this, both when it's happening and how to work it out? Introvert travelling tips might be useful. I find it particularly hard when travelling in a small group to make a graceful exit and talk about what's bothering him (or to ask him to get his head out of his ass, because most of the time it seems that he's upset about something that you just have to make the best of). I feel like I have to do the work of two people sometimes. It makes travelling stressful and less fun for everyone, and I can see it happening again during future trips with friends. So please help me approach this!", "summary": "Looking for advice to deal with introverted boyfriend who gets grumpy and withdrawn when travelling or hanging out in small groups."} {"id": "t3_2m2dqi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my BestFriend [18/F] , Sudden loss of feelings, PLEASE HELP", "post": "Basically, I met her this year and we became the best of friends within 7 months. I met her as we were in the same class during the semester and I had a crush on her. Told her after 1 month and found out she was in a relationship. Tried to forget and get over her but couldn't. Few months later, she broke up, and 2 months ago, I told her I still liked her and would want to chase her. Then fast forward, we started holding hands and giving hugs frequently and she told me that she has feelings for me but now is not the time to be in a relationship, so we are withholding it.\n\nBut suddenly, I feel a loss of feelings for her last Saturday. I felt very sad and depressed. I'm not sure what I am or where I am now. If I was infatuated with her, or that my feelings became from intense to dull as we started doing more things. I told her yesterday. I requested to stop holding hands and hugging. I think I still love her, but maybe not the same as before where it was thrilling. I'm not sure about myself now. I care very very much about her and really do not want to hurt her. I'm lost please help. I'm feeling very heartbroken about myself now and her", "summary": "Crush -> feelings reciprocated -> suddenly lost of feelings -> lost unsure what to do, do not want to hurt her."} {"id": "t3_1itnjg", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "My friend failed her driving theory test. I feel like it's my fault.", "post": "The two of us were living in a school and taking theory and car driving lessons daily. It's a form of bootycamp for those who wish to take their driving lessons. All other places in the country were filled to the brim with people taking classes, so this seemed like a good option. \n\nNow, since we were there to study for our theory test, and for our driving test, naturally we had to do just that: Study. And we did. Some did more than some, some did less. From the day we arrived to the day of the theory exam we had 11 days. She arrived one day later than everyone else, so I let her for three days, since she sorta studied a bit. Then I started to remind her gently once or thrice that she needed to study more instead of just browsing the Internet. She said she would. Did she need the books I had to study? No. Oh, well. Okay. \n\nNow, after a while she started to get annoyed with me reminding her to get off whatever site she was on to study. Not wanting her to be in a foul mood, as well as wanting to preserve our friendship, I let her be. The day before the exam she asked for the books. She got them, and she studied. \n\nThe day of the exam comes and.. she fails the test. I pass it. \n\nNow, it's unreasonable for me to feel like this, cause I'm not her mom and she's not my responsibility per se, but I feel bad for not pushing her more. She'd probably have gotten even more annoyed if I had but it still feels as if I should have. I feel awful that she didn't pass, but I did.", "summary": "My friend fails her car theory exam. I pass it. I feel as if I should have pushed her to study more"} {"id": "t3_46yiip", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19F] with ex[18M] of ~1 month; how important is it to win the breakup?", "post": "I know it's rarely a good idea to contact an ex. I also know it's rarely a good idea to apologize for something a month after going NC with the person in question, since that is usually a selfish search for forgiveness and alleviation of guilt. I'm very much leaning toward not doing any of these things, and had decided not to when it occurred to me that had the roles been reversed, it would have been nice to know that my ex was suffering and hating himself a little. \n\nThat said (once again on a selfish note), contacting him again would definitely rip open old wounds for me. I'd rather just bury my head in the sand and not deal with it. Also, I feel like an apology would be showing weakness, and I don't want to give him any kind of satisfaction. For every apology I owe him, he owes me six. I think.", "summary": "I'm considering texting an apology to my ex. Either talk me out of it, or give me a REALLY good reason to do it. "} {"id": "t3_2yurni", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Concerns about Sertraline", "post": "Hi, so I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but I visited a doctor a while back and she prescribed Sertraline for general anxiety and agoraphobia. While I started the medication I experienced dry mouth, which I was willing to sit with. One day, though, I was getting out of the shower and became extremely confused, which really scared me so I stopped the medication. \n\nThat was all before I started school. Since this semester began I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety. For a while I was handling that, until my grades started to fall. After that I became unmotivated, lethargic, and irritable. \n\nNow I'm debating going back on the meds because I've not been able to \"kick\" the depression. My concern is that I might experience more of the side effects. If I've already experience a few, does that mean I'll experience the others?", "summary": "I stopped the meds but want to go back on them. I'm worried about some of the side effects. "} {"id": "t3_2br0nd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my fling [27 M/F] 6 months, replaced in a creepy way, disturbed", "post": "EDIT: I've been working at the same place for about a couple years on a break from college (got too expensive and my grades got sour, long unrelated story). I've known this girl for the entire time I've been here and we only accepted we had sexual tension about six months ago. The rest of the time has been spent with on/off physical interaction on a mostly FWB level. She's kinky in usual ways: biting, nails, a little pleasurable pain. There hasn't been penetration, either; she's been pretty clear about how far she wants to go comfortably as friends, and I couldn't agree more (I've been trying to escape this hole forever, and commitment stops that process). We flirt every day, though, and we've stopped short of third base while she chose to see someone else.\n\nHowever, the time has come for me to go back to college, which means leaving the entire state, actually. (I announced it earlier last month but the college got back to me late, and I have to go in spring, which means I'll still be here for longer. She is aware.)\n\nThis has made her react in a very odd way, and this is where disturbing comes in. She brought in a creepy bobblehead of the kid from Meet the Robinsons (Disney) and claims it exists \"so when [I'm] gone, [I'll] still be there anyway.\" The object looks nothing like me (I'm brown-haired, normal teeth, and I wear contacts). It's enough for me to freak a bit, because it's clingy and weird. It ends up on my desk in the mornings; she points it out and smiles at it; today, I even heard her talk to it.\n\nPlease, someone, explain this to me... Is there any way I can confront her without making it worse. I need confirmation: have I been blind to her feelings, is this a negative reaction to life outside the comfort zone, or something else entirely?", "summary": "Summary: Sort-of FWB for 6 months, uncommitted, replaced me with an odd proxy figurine after I announced I'm going to college in the fall. Help!"} {"id": "t3_26y17y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my __SO (EX)_ [21/F] 4 years, broke up with me today", "post": "Yesterday I made a post about my SO's low sex drive of four years who I have been living with for 3.5 years. \n\nOriginal post \n\nThis morning she came home from work early and ended our relationship stating that she wasn't ready for this sort of relationship, wanted to experience being young etc. I assume this means other men and relationships. Their was some of anger and tears on my behalf but we ended it on good terms. I suggested an open relationship so she could experience other things but she said she didn't want to do this to me and felt I was too good for her. I asked her if their was anyone else she was adamant that their wasn't anyone and she was feeling this way for a while. I cant help but think our talk yesterday was what did it, that it's my fault for bringing it up and should of been content.\n\nAs we have a very close net of friends I'm trying to be mature and accept what has happened, but I'm very lonely and sad atm which has stopped me going to a mutual friends 21st today.\n\nMy SO was my rock to lean on, she was always their for advice and knew what to say to me to make anything alright, but now I have no one to turn to that I'm that close to. \n\nWe had planned a trip to together for a few days to another city to see a musical in 2 weeks to celebrate our anniversary together. Everything is pre booked so I have suggested to her that we still go as friends. Should I treat this as a last ditch effort to get her back or just concentrate on going as friends or not go at all? I've tried to limit contact to give her space but I'm so alone, scared and depressed with out her presence. I spent the day with a bunch of other friends which helped until I got home to our empty house, so far she has only taken her clothes. \n\nShould I give up? Should I wait it out to see if she reconciles? What has worked for anyone who has gone through such a long term break up?", "summary": "SO of four years ended our relationship today citing she wants to experience being young. I'm a wreck and cant see my self functioning with out her."} {"id": "t3_11smca", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I am a girl (18) that wants to let a guy (18) know that im hurt.", "post": "OK so theres this guy I had sex with earlier this year twice and he was really nice to me and everything . But then he rooted and booted me. Fast forward maybe 5 months and he calls me up one night when, drunk, wanting to see me. I saw him at a party the week before so maybe I got in his head again. Either way he rooted and booted me again and hasn't talk to me since and when I tried it was just him and his mates being silly and saying stuff. Like it's pretty much impossible to see him when I want to as he's a player and is always with the boys.\n\nSo what I want to know is, next time he calls me up wanting a booty call or whatever I need to know what to say to let him know that he really really hurt me and it hurts to be had sex with and then him not care? Do any guys know a way that will make him actually CARE and get the picture.", "summary": "had sex with a player, care about him, want to let him no I'm hurt in a way that he will understand"} {"id": "t3_2tl9q9", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Mom problems, what do I do?", "post": "Alright, so my mom decided to join a business dealing in the distribution of different vitamins that are supposed to \"enhance\" your lifestyle, but quite frankly, these \"special\" vitamins aren't any different than the ones you can get at your local pharmacy. So naturally, I wanted to see the reputation of the company she now became involved with. Just searching the name of the company showed many great comments and reviews and how it was life changing for many people, however if you added \"pyramid scheme\" at the end, countless stories, videos, etc. appeared, even more so than the initial search. So quite blatantly, it was a pyramid scheme. I haven't told her what I thought about it but she's been going on and on about how \"this will give us more income!\" And \"this is for your future!\" But quite frankly I'm extremely worried that the money she's giving to this \"amazing and worth while\" business will out weigh the amount of money she earns from raking other people in this scheme. Worst of all, she wants me and my siblings (who I don't think know about the nature of the company) involved as well. Things like, creating advertisements, and telling our friends, practically just getting the word out to anyone who would listen about the amazing product she's selling and how you could also sell it yourself. So basically I have no idea what to do, she's clearly blinded by all the \"great\" rewards she thinks she'll be getting, but in the end she'll probably gain nothing out of this.", "summary": "Moms part of a pyramid scheme and wants me in on it, going crazy on how to tell how I feel."} {"id": "t3_358iuv", "subreddit": "self", "title": "My dad is in hospital and i'm worried and afraid.", "post": "Hey there reddit. I'm kinda depressed and as for why, well my dad just went to the hospital (actually about a few hours ago) and I'm worried. the first visit was because he got an ulcer and left it untreated, until he collapsed and went to hospital. The one now, is much worse. \n\nHe has more than one ulcer and now some if not all of them ruptured, and then he started to bleed out of almost every orifice and to make matters worse, the ambulance in my shit-hole of a country decided that they weren't going to send anyone. It took my neighbour's fire-fighter friend to get them to send one.\n\nIn that time, he had turned yellow, lost any semblance of control over his bowels and slipped in and out of consciousness, when he was awake he was delirious. This is after 2 hours of waiting. Now I am worried, my mother is with him and I'm at home \"holding the fort\".", "summary": "My dad was just recently sent to the hospital after a 2 hour wait and is in critical condition, I'm worried and depressed"} {"id": "t3_3ax55h", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My gf[25/f] and I [28/m] disagree on religion. What to do?", "post": "My gf and I have been dating for approximately 1 year 4 months. We click on almost every level, we're both in grad school together and we spend a lot of time together too. She has very strict parents and she basically kept me a secret from them(especially her father) for quite a long time. If you had asked me 6 months ago if I was going to propose, I would have emphatically said yes. However, within the last 6 months one big issue has come up before us. \n\nHer parents are Catholic and she said that unless I was willing to convert than her parents would never accept me. I told her that I wasn't really comfortable with converting. I'm Buddhist myself, but not a strict one. My issue with converting is that my gf is barely catholic as it is. She hasn't gone to Church ever since she moved here for grad school, she even lies to her father about going to Church. Not trying to point out flaws in their religion, but I feel as though the parents are Catholic for face value. The father gambles like crazy, the eldest sons in the family have children out of wedlock. Even my gf said \"Just convert so you can make them happy?\" \n\nThis has caused a lot of tension in our relationship as of late because her father just found out about me and was not happy to find out that I wasn't Catholic. If my gf was super strict and went to church every Sunday... If her parents super passionate about their religion and was understanding then that's something I could get on board with and I would maybe consider converting. It seems as though they just want me to convert for the sake of converting...\n\nAny advice? Anybody go through the same thing? Not trying to make this an anti religion thread so please try to keep things away from that =]", "summary": "My gf is catholic. Not really catholic. Her parents want me to convert. I don't want to."} {"id": "t3_1fudxw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I the right person to do what I'm contemplating? [21]", "post": "I'm in a bit of a dilemma.\n\nIt involves a guy[20] and a girl[20] I went to school with and have been going out together for 4-5 years. It's come to my attention that last year one of my closer mates slept with the girl a couple or so times.\n\nA lot of people are aware of this happening, including the close friends of the guy who got cheated on, the guy still knows nothing about it. I feel like if I was the one to tell him it would obviously be detrimental to a relationship that's half a decade old, but unfortunately, also to the guy's relationship with all of his friends that chose to keep him in the dark this whole time.\n\nBy telling him I feel I'd be causing the guy unnecessary pain... But on the other hand, maybe I'm this guy's only chance to avoid him going down a long dark road which he may choose to avoid given he knows all the facts.", "summary": "Guy got cheated on last year, a lot of people know about it. Should I be the one to tell him?"} {"id": "t3_30qusv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (17m) girlfriend(17f) seems to have lost interest in me. Should I keep trying or should I let her go?", "post": "We have been dating for 3 months ,and those 3 months have been nothing but wonderful. Two weeks ago she went cold on me.\n\n She stopped talking, couldn't look me in the eyes, and looked really uncomfortable around me.\n\n We have so much in common and I believe us to be really compatible. I feel I would do anything for her, but I don't want to push her into hating me. \n\nThe talking and texting have become painful for me. I used to be able to get her to laugh without trying. Now I only get annoyed responses. I never knew emotional pain felt like real pain. \n\nI never stop thinking about her and my mind always goes back in time to when things were going amazing. \n\nI never pushed her into doing anything if she said no. I respected her decisions. I really like her and it's hard to imagine not having her with me. Did she get tired of me or am I to blame?\n\nI've tried talking to her, she seems to avoid answering by saying \" I dont know\" and when I press for an answer she changes the subject.", "summary": "Girl I've dated for 3 months seems to have lost interest in me, I am heartbroken. Know very little about relationships, should I stay or should I go. Is there anything I can do?"} {"id": "t3_3wvoud", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Odd payment request?", "post": "I'm unsure if this would be the correct subreddit, as it didn't seem to fit in elsewhere, maybe personalfinancel? If not, here goes. \n\nA little background, I'm in the military and looking to buy some car parts. I saw on the Perrin Performance website that they have a \"Military and first responder discount\" [reddit!] . To be approved for this, you need to email or call the representative listed with a few requirements and also list the parts you wish to purchase. \n\nAfter sending all of this I received an email this afternoon statin all of the (newly) priced items at about 10-15% discount (awesome!). The email also includes the following text, which I found incredibly off.\n\n> If you'd like to complete an order, feel free to call or email me with your credit card number, expiration date, and 3 digit code OR send a paypal payment to sales@perrinperformance.com, just put it to my attention. \n\nI shot the representative an email back asking if he could somehow give me a discount code equalling the amount of the discount I was to receive noted in his email, as it didn't feel right to do either of the options listed. I am also going to call tomorrow to see if he could answer some other questions I may have. \n\nI can't wrap my head around it being a scam, as it is from a reputable company, it just seems odd that the initial payment options listed were what he mentioned. \n\nAny help or suggestions would be great, or maybe someone has used their discounts before? For all I know this is completely normal, but I've never been asked to send my \"credit card number, expiration, and 3 digit code\" to someone via email.", "summary": "want to buy car parts, inquired about military discount, received email back with discounted prices but asked to pay by email/paypal."} {"id": "t3_28b0nu", "subreddit": "books", "title": "I have 42 books to read on goodreads", "post": "I like good reads especially for being able to organize all the books ive read (I can sort of re familiarize myself with them easier with them all organized nicely like that, tho i suppose an excel spreadsheet would have been equally effective...) , but I have a \"to read\" list of 42 books and my true list is probably an entire library.\n\nCan anyone please advise or relate to wanting to read and entire library?\nI know Malcolm X said he could happily spend the rest of his life in a library just satisfying his curiosity. \n\nFor me, Im also interested in learning, and there may be more effective efforts than simply \"consuming\" in the form of creating, aha! I just realized i need to do more creating but i love consuming \"books\" so much tho :/ \n\nFor me, I feel the same, but another \"phrase\" I recall is \"this aint a fuckin trivia contest(life)\" and \"the nobel prize does not go to the man who reads the most journal articles or takes the most notes, it goes to the one who knows what he's looking for\"\n\nso while reading is certainly pure joy, I suppose since im temporarily broke and unemployed I should have some direction in my reading but life is so rich and complex and interesting I am just \"flabbergasted\" or \"astonished\" and in awe of this world we live in\n\nperhaps im \"escaping\" with my reading", "summary": "I feel like my \"to read\" list may never get read, why do I have this list and why do I feel the way I do about it?"} {"id": "t3_2y711z", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by bleeding all over a cute girl.", "post": "So this fuck up happened today. \n\nNot to sound like a tool bag but I go to this gym everyday on my campus. It's relatively small and the people that work there are all familiar faces at this point. Today I decided that I wanted to do some cardio on the treadmill while listening to music on my phone. I was reaching for my bottle of water and accidentally knocked my phone over and watched it fall into the treadmill. That might actually be my first fuck up come to think of it.... No biggie, I call over one of the managers and it's a cute girl I've been trying to talk too this semester. \n\nFast forward she gets the screwdriver, opens the machine to reach for my phone and I'm standing over her watching this whole thing. (after asking her if I could do it but it's a liability issue so she says she has to do it. I respect that.) I got a clear view of her cleavage though so I stood a little closer. Then in her excitement, she stood up really fast but wasn't aware that i was standing so close that her head collided with my face. I ended up getting a nose bleed and some of the blood went all over her. I was so embarrassed I held my nose in shame, took my phone, said thank you and ran away.", "summary": "got pervy, got hit. so ashamed and now i'm just going to get fat for the rest of the semester."} {"id": "t3_2svr85", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Very general relationship question. I [25F] would like to know if it's normal for most friends in the span of your lifetime to eventually disappoint you? In my experience most friendships end due to people letting me down rather than just drifting apart. Normal?", "post": "I'm not in the middle of any crisis at the moment, this is just something I've began to notice. \n\nIt's pretty sad, maybe the reality of life is just hitting me, or maybe I attract the wrong kinds of people. I'm a very giving caring person. I don't feel like I get taken advantage exactly, but I do notice that I am ALWAYS there when various friends need me, but the reality is they aren't always there for me.\n\nI do have a couple old friends that I consider very good friends, they have yet to disappoint, and are a pleasure to know, however I rarely see them.", "summary": "Do most friendships come with a lifespan? If so, is that lifespan mostly related to the amount of time it takes for them to eventually disappoint you?"} {"id": "t3_43f8jr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (43F) husband (46M) is difficult to be around when he is home", "post": "Hi there,\nMy husband is a great guy, for the most part. We've been married for seven years, and together for 16. We are living the dream, have two great kids, all is terrific - except for the actual being at home together part. \n\nHe comes home and shuts down COMPLETELY. Occasionally, he is pleasant to be around but mostly, he is short-tempered, non-communicative and frankly TERRIBLE to be around when he is at home.\n\nI have learned to dread the weekends - he doesn't engage with either me or the kids. Or if he does, it's pretty easy to tell that he'd rather be doing pretty much anything else, even with the kids. The interactions between us are frankly non-existent (I tend to avoid him because chances are it's going to be an unpleasant interaction).\n\nIt gets better if we go skiing but that's about the only activity that brings out his good side.\n\nHow do I cope with this? How can I approach him and let him know how difficult it is being around him when he's in this (seemingly perpetual) bad mood? How do I make him happy? I'm getting really, REALLY sick of constantly walking on eggshells all the time. Any tips would be welcome...", "summary": "husband morphs into a grumpy bear whenever he's home. Don't know how to cope or make him happy."} {"id": "t3_1mwv4k", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "4 year old step-daughter cries whenever she's redirected. Help!", "post": "I have been living with my SO and her daughter for over a year now. The transition was tough, but nothing like some of the horror stories I've heard. She's a really great little girl! She's smart, funny, and caring. We use the old counting to 3 and timeouts. Most of the time all you have to do is warn her that you're going to start counting and she realizes we mean business and gets to doing whatever she's supposed to be doing. We also try to give her choices like \"We're leaving in 10 minutes. Do you want to watch a bit more of your show or read one story before we leave?\".\n\nI should also mention that my GF and I both are involved in the discipline and we really try to work together to parent her daughter. \n\nRecently, she's been getting into the habit of crying whenever we tell her not to do something. She's an extremely sensitive kid. I think she's having a hard time understanding that it's the behavior we don't want - not her. More recently, however, it seems like she's been starting to fake cry when we tell her not to do something. \n\nWhen she seemed genuinely upset after I would tell her not to do something I would offer comfort and explain that we love her and are not mad at her, but there are some things she's not allowed to do. Basically I just try to be understanding while also sticking to my guns.\n\nHas me comforting her sent her the message that if she cries she'll get whatever she wants? We're really at a loss for what to do! Any advice would be hugely appreciated!", "summary": "Step-daughter cries when I tell her not to do something. Sometimes it's because she's upset, but more and more often she's fake crying. How can I get her to stop crying???"} {"id": "t3_skyrw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I will be graduating high school as well as turning 19 in a few months. I am considering joining the army/navy/air force/or coast guard. I am hoping to find some advice or input from somebody that isn't my 75 year old grandfather.", "post": "I will be graduating at the end of the summer, and my father has just drained my savings for a very expensive wedding ring for his now wife. I will not have a place to go home to after I graduate due to his wife being pregnant. I have not been very fond of the military to be honest. I have little idea what I want to do with my life other than I really want to visit and probably move to Japan. I am good at cooking so I was planning on getting my B.A. in culinary arts, and going with one of those English programs. My fear is (other than I will be shot and killed) that my ability to travel will be hampered by my military past. I wouldn't mind being taught the martial arts and stuff like that, but I truly hate guns. I will answer any other questions you want to know, and I would appreciate anything you may offer me. One last thing is that I did talk to a Marine recruiter, and he told me I needed to lose a lot of weight, but wouldn't return any of my calls or anything later down the road.", "summary": "I am contemplating joining a branch of the army, but am not sold. Any advice on what branch or if I should?"} {"id": "t3_3bukf9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22, M] have trouble talking to and feel left out of activities with my extended family [16-90, M/F] at gatherings. I don't feel comfortable going up to and talking to anyone in my extended family.", "post": "This is my first post, so I apologize if I didn't follow the guidelines on the side bar exactly, and I apologize if this becomes a rant.\n\nHere's my problem. I have a lot of extended family members, and anytime we have a family gathering, I can't strike up a conversation or comment on what is being talked about. Well, I could, but I don't feel close enough with them and I have no reason for that besides my current problem of not being able to muster up something to talk about.\n\n When I think about my cousins and aunts and uncles relationships with each other, they all seem to mesh pretty well like a spiderweb, they seem to enjoy other's company, and they always have something to talk about. When it's just me and one of my family members in a room, it's completely silent. I'm pretty sure they think I'm completely mental...\n\nWhen I was a kid, we would have family gatherings pretty much every month, but as the years went on we just meet for holidays and special occasions and the occasional trip to who-knows-where.\n\nI'm not an anti social person, though. I have a lot of friends who I can always find something to talk about with, and I don't have trouble meeting strangers. I feel so much anxiety just thinking about seeing my family. I'd feel embarrassed if I said something wrong in a conversation with them.\n\nIs there a general way for me to gain confidence around my family? I don't have social media besides reddit, so there isn't a way for me to talk about what's going on in their lives. Is there a way to kind of \"fake\" being not awkward around, in this case, family? How should I approach family who I can't converse with that well?", "summary": "I feel uncomfortable being around and talking to extended family even though I'm not anti social or have a lot of anxiety in the general public. I can never be able to start conversations about relevant stuff with my family."} {"id": "t3_52tvm6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I think my(22M) best friend's(24F) boyfriend(25M) is cheating on her but I don't know how to bring it up to her", "post": "My best friend is madly in love with this guy and I never really liked him but it wasn't my place to tell her how she lived her life. \n\nThe only thing is that right before he started dating my friend, he just got out of a 4 year relationship. He's been caught still texting his ex girlfriend(and lying about it), he likes every single thing that his ex posts on social media, and he's just really weird about who he hangs out with. He hangs out with his old friend group a lot but always says \"oh don't worry, Nicole(the ex) won't be there.\"\n\nThe most suspicious thing was that my friend went on vacation out of the country for a week and her boyfriend wasn't around either. He all of the sudden had all of these \"impromptu errands\" to run in the same area that his ex lives in.\n\nhowever, i'm not going to judge my friend for staying with him after all of this shady stuff happened because I really don't know the nature of their relationship. Maybe they communicate more than what I see, which is why things arent adding up for me.\n\nThe thing is, my best friend and this guy have been dating for over a year now and they live together and i'm really afraid he's been cheating on my friend the entire time. It could just be me being worried about losing touch with my friend in the process but I don't want her to get hurt. I want to open up a dialogue with her and i want to make sure that she feels comfortable and secure in her relationship.\n\nI don't know how to talk to her about it. I've been in a relationship for the last 6 years so I dont want a conversation to come across as \"Hey, I know way more about relationships than you do and i think your relationship sucks\" but I dont want her to get in too deep and feel like shes not good enough.", "summary": "how do I start a conversation that I dont want to have about my friend's shady boyfriend of a very long time."} {"id": "t3_4xlwg1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (31m) fiance (29f) of 4 years wants to cancel our wedding (3 weeks away) because she is too fat.", "post": "So I know Reddit is a minefield when it comes to overweight women. My fiance, Jess, is overweight. She has been since I've known her. I would say that when we met she was 5'0 and 220, and she has been steadily losing weight since the wedding plans were being set. \n\nShe has been working hard all year to lose weight. MyFitnessPal, weight lifting, cardio kickboxing classes, all of it. We never ate very unhealthy to begin with, but we are big drinkers, so we cut alcohol down significantly. \n\nOur wedding is in 3 weeks. She came home sobbing from her final dress fitting, and started begging me to cancel the wedding. She said that she is too fat to be a wife, that she looks disgusting in her dress, she doesn't want me to see her, that she feels like a troll, and that she is embarrassed to let me walk down the aisle with a fat girl. Right now she is out at the park with the dog doing laps. \n\nMy heart is breaking over this. I think she looks amazing. I thought she looked great when we met -- obviously, I fell in love with her. It's not like I'm a body builder Chad type with bulging muscles, either. I'm fit, but not muscular, and I have honestly never been one to care about a girl's size when it comes to this stuff. And it's not like she's still 220. Her MFP app has her last weigh-in at 140. \n\nI don't know what to do or how to help. I asked her maid of honor what to do, and she didn't know. But I know we cannot cancel this wedding (so many people are coming in from out of town already), we cannot change anything. \n\nWhat do I do to help her?", "summary": "Fiance wants to cancel the wedding because she thinks she is too fat. I don't know how to help her. She has lost a lot of weight and had her final fitting for her dress and she feels awful."} {"id": "t3_woqlb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "After seeing \"the process of regret\" thread, I wonder, what's the worst thing you have drunken or eaten?", "post": "When I was about 12 years old I had a birthday party and my dad decided the boys were old enough to play a big kid game. So he lays out a deck of cards and tells the first person to make a concoction of any drinkable items they want, it can be as disgusting or delicious as they want (definitely more fun if you go for disgusting). whoever draws the lowest card is required to drink the drink, only downside is the person who makes the drink is also able to pull lowest card and might have to drink their own creation. Fastforward to my turn, I try to make the most vile thing I can think of....consisting of pickle juice, jalapeno juice, jalapeno seeds, vinegar, a raw egg, hot sauce, mustard, milk, and orange juice. Well whadayaknow? I pull the lowest card and am sentenced to this punishment I brought upon myself. I take one giant gulp to try and down it as fast I can...bad idea...I throw up more violent and fiercer than I ever have before.", "summary": "played game at birthday party, made disgusting drink, had to drink it and threw up the characters of family guy when they tried ipecac. \"Cue cutscene.\""} {"id": "t3_1ssboy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my friend [18 F] met a few days ago, was drunk and all over her last night", "post": "So I met my friend (we'll call her Felicity) a few days ago through another friend, they live in the same building, I was invited around to drink before we go out to the club, we did that got there and for the first hour it was fine but I guess I drank a bit too much. I turned to my friend and said, I want to get with Felicity should I do it. And he said yes you go do that and so I took her to the side, bought her a few drinks started kissing making out all that stuff, I ended up following her around for the whole night. She got to me smoke, I don't smoke, I was all over her. I feel like I probably harassed her the whole night and made her feel uncomfortable. So I'm pretty confused not sure what to think, also sent some drunk text saying she's amazing and that I want to wait for her, I don't remember this.", "summary": "I spent most of the night at the club with my friend and I was all over her, I think I made her feel uncomfortable although I can't remember. Not sure what to think"} {"id": "t3_o16t9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "NYC urinating in public", "post": "So I'm in NYC.. I went to a concert on NYE, and as I was heading to the venue with friends. We got kind of lost and wind up unknowingly walking through the projects. My friend goes down an alley to go take a piss and i'm standing next to a dumpster allegedly committing the same offense according to police. \n\nI'm standing there, on my cell phone showing no sign of urinating. I turn around and walk past the alley where my friend is and all of a sudden i hear a voice from the distance, and I turn around to see a few police officers walking from the street a good 30 feet away. They ask if we were just taking a piss and i don't even have time to answer before they take our IDs and walk off leaving us with a couple other officers. Not to mention one guy pulls up in a fucking taxi cab that was an undercover police car.\n\nAnyway, we don't even have a chance to plead our case, and to be frank we don't really bother because we know it's a lost cause. They tell us how we're walking through the projects and that we were putting ourselves in danger and all this crap because they heard gunshots earlier. Meanwhile we're standing there for about 15 minutes like sitting ducks with the other officers who are extremely on edge and jumping at any noise while this officer who disappeared is writing out citations. They play it off like it's nothing and say we can pay it online for $25.\n\nI get home and here I have a citation that makes no mention of paying online, and simply says to plead guilty you have to appear at the court date shown on the front, or to plead not guilty you must send it in before 48 hours is up and await a court date to arrive in the mail.", "summary": "Cops think they see me urinating in public NYE from far away and blocked view. Issue bogus $25 fine that I can't pay online like they said. Should i fight it?"} {"id": "t3_2mktrf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Brother's (28m) girlfriend (32ish?) girlfriend is an awful woman. How do I stop the racist/homophobic comments at family gatherings?", "post": "Update: Thanks, everyone. You totally called me out on what was making me so uncomfortable about this situation - that by not saying anything, I have become complicit. Our family has created an environment where she feels comfortable spewing hate. This Christmas could be interesting. \n\nI (33f) am not overly close with my youngest brother, so this is not some weird protective sister thing. He has utterly terrible taste in women. The last one had some other guy's kid while she was with him. This new one has been around for 18-ish months now. He has totally burned bridges with our other two siblings over her. He is stubborn as shi* and this is what he has decided, so this post isn't about breaking them up. It's his life, so whatever. \n\nI have a hard time with the fact that she is strongly racist and homophobic. At family gatherings we have heard such pearls as \"dirty ragheads\", \"black people aren't welcome where I come from\", and \"marriage is between a man and a woman the way God meant it.\" More horrifying is now hearing my brother spewing this crap. I have never been around someone so ignorant and nasty. So far I've just dealt by changing the topic very quickly. Christmas is coming up again and this is going to be a problem. I don't want to start a brawl at a family function, but can anyone suggest tactful ways to shut this down?", "summary": "My brother's gf is an outspoken racist and homophobe. How to shut this down without causing a scene at family events?"} {"id": "t3_yfyv1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Anyone coming to Martha's Vineyard from the Southern CT area in the next week?", "post": "I have a package that was supposed to be delivered today, that I intended on bringing when we came to the vineyard. The problem is that we left for the Vineyard a few hours before it arrived (we had to make the ferry). \nI can arrange for a family member to retrieve the package, but I would need someone to bring the package to the Vineyard.\nIt would be great if someone could help, but it is nothing that someone would have to go out of their way for. \nThe package is a few knick nacks I bought and you can play a game with them, B-Daman, if you have heard of them. I ordered them a few weeks ago and have been waiting awhile.", "summary": "There is a package in the southern part of Ct , and I need it brought from there to Martha's Vineyard in the next week."} {"id": "t3_1b83kx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (22 M) doesn't seem to be interested in having sex with me (20 f) how do talk to him about it without hurting either of our egos?", "post": "So me and Boyfriend have been together two years now, and have been living together since November. At the beginning of our relationship, just like any other young couple, we were having sex all the time. Not obnoxiously or anything but every night (maybe more than once a night). I'm not an unrealistic woman, and I understood that kind of heat would not last forever but now, two years later... we've had sex twice the past two weeks... and that was on the same day because the first time didn't really.. work out. \n\nI've tried talking to him about it before but it just makes him upset because he thinks it means I'm unsatisfied with the relationship, which I'm not. I love him and am perfectly happy with most other aspects of the relationship. I just want to be intimate and make love. I want to feel sexy and attractive which I am not feeling anymore. I feel insecure about my body constantly now because he just can't seem to get excited about it anymore. I feel ashamed to even change in front of him. Which sounds completely asinine, I know, but it does make me self conscious.\n\nI've also tried the alternative to talking and just kind of going for it. Today for instance, I was in my undies and a t-shirt when he came home and started kissing him and he wanted to nap since he just got off from work. So, okay, I let him rest. Then I started at it again and he wanted to shower. I feel like I'm just completely being blown off and I don't know why... I've tried this in the past as well and it just makes me not want to even initiate anything sexual because it really pains me to be turned away by the person I love.. it's been a week since we've had sex. Jeeze... I'm just frustrated.\n\nLong story short... how do I bring this up to him again without sounding mean or feeling like I'm pressuring and attacking him...", "summary": "Boyfriend and I are only having sex once (or less) a week. Have tried talking about it and just going for it and nothing seems to make a difference. Happy relationship. Dating 2 years"} {"id": "t3_46ox4o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [15M] found my biological parents and want to meet them", "post": "I've always known I was adopted. My parents told me I was adopted from Russia and that no one knows my biological parents, but I found out that was a lie a year ago. I was born in the United States.\n\nI spent some time researching, and I found the address and number of my biological mother, but not my biological father. I called her phone, and she answered, but I didn't say anything. She lives in the mid-west, and I'm in New York, so I'll probably not get to visit her. I want to find out who she is. I don't have any motivation for it except that we share DNA, so I guess I want to know who she is and what she's like. \n\nI don't know if I should tell my adopted parents that I found out that I'm not from Russia (though my biological mom is Russian, and I look Russian, so I see how that was convincing) and that I know the identity of my biological mom.", "summary": "Found my biological mom and want to meet her but don't know how to tell my parents or if I should at all."} {"id": "t3_3ixwp7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18F] mom [50F] has trouble letting me go, I can't deal with it.", "post": "My mom got my brother when she was 21, before that she only worked for 3 years. She decided to stay at home, while my dad earned good money. When my brother was 11, she got me. She never got a real job since the birth of my brother, apart from voluntary work at my brother's kindergarden, as she loves kids. In fact, she didn't want to work, she wanted to be a housewife, care for me and my brother as well as possible, and there is nothing wrong with that at all! \n\nNow, I graduated in June and now I'll start university in October. I'm moving out of my parents' house and into an apartment about 1 hour away from my parents, I'm planing on coming home every other weekend or so, though. The main problem is that she doesn't have any hobbies, almost no friends and no job. My mom basically made it her mission in life to care for me. My dad works during the week until 6 and on the weekends they usually stay home and do nothing. \n\nNaturally, she can't deal with me moving out. She gets really upset when I decline her offers e.g. to pick me up from places where I normally walk home from, and she's constantly texting me when I'm not home. Recently my parents were on vacation, she still couldn't stop sending me messages asking what I had for dinner, what I am doing and stuff like that. It's getting worse and worse. \n\nI'm feeling extremely uncomfortable, as I can't wait to move out and be independent. When I kindly tell her to stop caring too much about me, she gets extremely upset. I have no idea what to do. I can't deal with her being so clingy and I'm sure it will get so much worse once I'm not living at home anymore.", "summary": "My mom can't deal with the fact that I'm moving out, as she has been a stay at home mom basically all her life."} {"id": "t3_3sx91n", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I'm an apprentice, how can I save?", "post": "I work at a cinema, I'm 17 and in the UK. I earn \u00a35.20 an hour and I get a minimum of 16 hours (not enough to live on) and a maximum of 30 hours. \n\nI currently still live with my parents, they don't charge me for rent, but rightly so, anything I want, be it food for work or games, travel etc. Theyll make me pay.\n\nI currently have about \u00a3300 in my bank, that's it. I have a student rail-card, entitling me to cheaper fares but I still have to pay about \u00a33.45-\u00a35.00. \n\nThere are times that I am working before 10 am, which doesnt allow me to use my rail card, meaning it costs \u00a37.30 for a return ticket from my home to work.\n\nI'm on this apprenticeship for 2 years, I just started in September. Perks are free cinema tickets and 40% off food and drink, but its not financially beneficial or worth mentioning really..\n\nBasically, what can I do to save more? I get paid every 2 weeks, and I used to put \u00a320 in an envelope to save up, but I had to use that \u00a320 because my debit card broke one time, so now I don't have any left aside. \n\nPeople do laugh at my stupidly low wages, others call me stupid or say it was a mistake for working there..", "summary": "I am 17 and work 30 hours a week, \u00a35.20 an hour, for 2 years. How can I save and stuff? It's my first proper job. "} {"id": "t3_yp9ly", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Went through a rough break-up, how do I move on?", "post": "I[25] recently went through a break-up with a girl[19] I had been dating for a year and a half. I've dated other girls for longer, but none ever meant so much to me as this one. She broke it off because she said I was too much like her father, as in controlling. She got fed up with me asking where she was if I hadn't heard from her or calling to see how she was while she was hanging out with friends. Basically, she broke up with me(at least as I see it) for caring. She has a lot of issues on her own though, mostly relating to her father.\n\nAnyway, this has left me emotionally crushed. I've never cried from a break-up before, but I've been crying and throwing up for a few days now. I invested more of myself than I ever have. How am I possibly supposed to move on from this? Everyone keeps telling me this is a good thing, and that I'll find someone better. I wanted to marry this girl.\n\nHas anyone else ever gone through a break-up like this? Does it actually get better? Right now I feel like I don't have anything to offer the next person. If I gave everything I had to this girl and she does this, how am I supposed to look forward to the next? A friend told me it was an experience to learn from, but I can't see what I learned. Don't give them my all? Remain closed up and detached? How am I supposed to put myself out there again? Not to mention that I'm starting a new job that is basically all guys; I don't even know where to try and meet some one. I've always dated co-workers or friends of friends.", "summary": "How do I emotionally put myself out there again for the next girl to come along after being so hurt by this one?"} {"id": "t3_42pyfz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (23F) just broke up with my bf (22M) and am so hurt", "post": "I've (23F) been with my bf (22M) for about 1.5 years and we just broke up. We've been having a rocky few months and have been fighting, breaking up, making up and falling in love over and over again. I was hurt already because a part of me felt like he didn't truly love me. I tried to tell him so many times and he didn't do much. \n\nToday he left his iPad at my place and I went through it , I know it's terrible and not sure why I did it. Well I didn't find anything about him cheating and I knew I wouldn't. But I did find where he continuously vented to his mom about me and our relationship. He told her details of our personal fights and constantly asked her advice. I'm not saying this is wrong but it was to the point where he could call me a crazy b... He also had told his dad about a beautiful woman he had briefly talked to and his dad egged him on to talk to her. <-- this part especially upset me and made me feel betrayed. \n\nWell I decided to break up with him bc of How hurt we both are and I don't see it getting any better. I've told him to work on things so many times and he fails to communicate properly and do so. I still love him so much and would do anything for it to work but I'm hurt, very hurt and I can't anymore. \n\nI'm not saying he's 100% at fault at all I realize I've done things to break us apart but I do love him and he makes me feel at home and safe. I want to be together but I don't think I can anymore, I don't think I want to be in love with him anymore.\n\nThoughts?", "summary": "my bf and I just broke up after having many issues and I snooped around in his iPad and got upset. I love him and I'm sad but think it's best..I'm very confused."} {"id": "t3_sexoi", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Should I stay a virgin?", "post": "I was raised in an Episcopalian home and attended a Born-Again camp for seventeen years of my life. These both instilled the idea in me that I should save my virginity for marriage. Even after I gave up Christianity and became an atheist after that, I kept the idea that I should save myself. I always figured that I should wait for someone who was also willing to wait for me, and save something that supposedly good for my future spouse. I'm now a college student who has had boyfriends in the past and currently have one, and I still have not lost my V-card. However, I have been seriously doubting myself on maintaining my virginity. I meet so few people who are also virgins/plan on staying that way until marriage, much less someone who is also an atheist. What are the odds that I'll find a spouse who waited for me? Am I being immature or naive by keeping my virginity? Am I putting sex on a pedestal by refusing to have it, or would I be by having it? Has anyone had this same dilema, and how did it work out?\nBy the way, if I did lose my virginity, of course I'd be safe about it. Condoms and/or the pill, for sure. Just wanted to put that out there before people advise me about that.", "summary": "I'm an atheist college student deciding whether or not to lose my virginity to my boyfriend after previously deciding to save myself for marriage. Thoughts?"} {"id": "t3_4ixro3", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "22 years old, 41k in student loans, 36k salary and weekend job...can i afford to move out?", "post": "Hey PF, \n\nSo I am 22 years old, and just got my first job out of university (yay!) \n\nI plan on working with a $36k salary (with benefits and vacation time) as of late May, and a part time retail job on the weekends. \n\nI am currently living at home for free (thank god for parents) and as of today, I have approximately $41k in student loans, $200 in credit card debt, no savings and no major expenses besides my phone bill. \n\nMy plan is to save and pay off as much of my student loans in six months and move out by January of next year. Would I be in a good position to move out? I would probably rent and have roommates if I do move out and it would help me lots since the commute is killer!\n\nI live in Ontario, Canada by the way.", "summary": "version: 41k student loans, 36k salary and weekend job, no major expenses and want to move out. is it doable?"} {"id": "t3_3yqrrv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Dad [59M] married a woman [52F] who is driving our family apart.", "post": "I'll [25M] try to keep this short but concise. My dad has been married to this woman for over 8 years. She has serious mental issues (not professionally diagnosed) and has been driving a wedge between him and the rest of our family ever since. She consistently causes drama between herself and family members and my dad refuses to see it. He is very dependent in his relationships and is scared to be alone. She starts fights between his family and friends and manipulates him into always taking her side. He's lost all of his friends and is disconnected from a lot of family members because of her. \n\nI'm not sure if he doesn't see anything wrong with the things she does or says, or is so scared of being alone that he won't admit it. I think there's a chance he isn't happy but won't leave her for fear of being alone and/or because of the financial implications of a divorce. \n\nIt's to the point where his immediate family is done putting up with her for his sake. We want to confront him and tell him this woman is a poison his life, but I am not optimistic any good will come of it. He's so scared of being alone that I believe he wouldn't divorce her no matter what and would end up losing the rest of his family to stay with her.", "summary": "Dad is married to a woman who is a cancer to his life, want to confront him about it but am scared it may do more harm than good."} {"id": "t3_386dk6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22M] Went away for a month and my GF [22F] of 4 years intentionally broke up with me to hurt.", "post": "This was actually a long time ago but it still confuses the hell out of me. We were highschool sweethearts and had one of those relationships where we loved, argued, and made-up constantly. Lots of passion and drama. We fought A LOT but we were also inseparable for 4 years. She hinted at wanting to get married for a while and I decided to propose when I was done with school.\n\nRight before I was going to propose to her, I went out of state for school and was going to be gone for 9 months. I offered her to come with me but she didn't want to leave. My plan was to come back and surprise her with a marriage proposal. But a month in she called me on my birthday to tell me that she was breaking up with me and that she was hooking up with someone. By her tone she sounded like she was trying to punish me. I was devastated to say the least. Planned on spending the rest of my life with her and I never expected her to treat me so cruelly. I never got an explanation but figured she had some kind of seperation anxiety or maybe she fought I was leaving her. Never forgave her for that and never recieved an explanation. What do you think happened? \n\nWhen she found out that I was about to propose to her someone did tell me that she got really upset and felt regretful. About a year after, she called me out of the blue to tell me that she had a sexual dream about me and tried to talk about meeting up. I just tried to be polite and got off the phone with her.", "summary": "Was about to propose to GF of 4 years but she called me when I was out of state to intentionally break up with me in the painful way she could've."} {"id": "t3_2sqiwc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I weird for being a [20/21M] afraid of the notion of infidelity?", "post": "Not really sure where else to post this but the thought of cheating or infidelity makes me sick to my stomach. I know, I know cheating is bad so it shouldn't be admired but I feel weird that while I don't see it happening to me and my fianc\u00e9, who is 6 months younger than me, it puts fear in me knowing that this is a fairly common occurrence in our society. Now I've had women try to get me to cheat about 3 times now and I never feel tempted in the slightest, she's my everything and I believe that's a two way street, but after seeing a lot of posts recently about happily married men being cheated on by their spouses it makes me sick to my stomach and uncomfortable, even movies or shows depicting cheating or such makes me uneasy. So basically I ask am I crazy for being made uncomfortable by cheating and infidelity?", "summary": "Cheating or infidelity, whether a real life situation or in media like shows or movies, makes me uncomfortable and sick to my stomach. Am I weird for feeling this way?"} {"id": "t3_2ggiex", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "A dose of reality of who my real family is", "post": "I got the best dose of reality from my cousin and my neighbor. Backstory: I had invited my parents neighbor, an older couple, to the wedding because they have been good family friends. They still live with their two adult children, 37 and 40 (both have a form of Autism). They are great people but I'm not super close compared to other people on our guest list. We always had them in the back of our minds for when we got any \"nos\". \n\nNow, my cousin was always on the guest list but once the save the dates were sent he bitched about everything-not having a plus one-not inviting his children-not inviting his entire side of the family (25 people we didn't have money for!). Well, the due date for the RSVPs came and went and we called him up and he said he won't be going and claimed he \"lost\" the invitation. I wouldn't put it past this asshole to throw it out and we are all pretty damn sure that is exactly what he did.\n\nSo now we had the room after several \"nos\" to invite my neighbor's adult children. My mother walked down to hand deliver and RSVP card and invite. The girl answered the door and my mom explained we had room and we would love to have her and her brother at the wedding. She started crying she was so happy! She went on for about 5 or 10 minutes about how excited she was and she will be getting a new dress and everything. It's stuff like this that reminds me who really cares for me and who I should be caring more about.", "summary": "Cousin was a jerk and most likely threw out my invite out of spite. Invited neighbors instead and she cried tears of joy."} {"id": "t3_298nv3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [19M] doesn't make time for me now that we've moved in together. I've moved 300 miles across the country, so I'm very isolated.", "post": "The title rather explains it, but here goes:-\n\nWe've been together roughly a year now and it's been great. We've always sat down and talk about things that troubled us, because we're not mind readers. \n\nI've tried to talk to him about this but I didnt really achieve much, he acknowledged what I said, but nothing's changed.\n\nThe fact is, I've moved 300 miles away from friends and family, I have no job yet and no money. So I'm largely dependant on him at the moment, which is killing me as he's working, playing on the computer or spending time with his friends.\n\nI just feel a little hurt because he spent much more time with me when we weren't living together. Now that we do, our relationship has been dumbed down to \"Hey, how are you\" and a reply when passing. \n\nI have depression, which means that the isolation can be very damaging. I dont have medication for it, I just try to keep myself active, eating well and exercising and surrounding myself with people.\n\nBut, since I'm 300 miles away I've lost all this and I'm worried that I'll slump again. \n\nWe were supposed to go out for dinner last night, but instead he played a game on steam with a friend. He was also supposed to help me unpack and move in, but instead I've had to do all that. \n\nDon't get me wrong though, he's a nice guy, buys me my favourite food when he knows I'm upset and all that jazz, but it's exhausting wondering where he is and if we're actually going to spend any time together before going to bed.", "summary": "It's a really small issue, I guess, but I just don't know how to approach it. We no longer go on dates, or spend time together, we just sleep together and share the same laundry pile."} {"id": "t3_4e4mja", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] and my GF [23F] are going through tough times", "post": "So me and my 4 months gf have been going through some rough times.. mostly thanks to her major depression and my personality (I get emotionally dependent on her and I am too rough on myself when I can't help her with her depression or anything else. Though I'm going to start seeing a psychologist next week to help me get past that dependency). \n\nLast week we were on the verge of breaking up since she said she couldn't see a future with me as she could see with her 2 year long ex due to my personality issues. We talked it through and came to agree to give it one more try. \n\nLater that week she asks me if I want to grab lunch one of these days to which I say yes. Then she tells me her ex is tagging along. (Now little explanation here. He is her only friend, literally she has no one else besides me and him. Plus I had already met him and he has a gf of his own now and I trust him.) So I ask her if he invited her so she could meet his new gf. It wasn't the case. She invited him first and then decided I could come along them. Usually I wouldn't mind but I was really hurt when she said she could see a future with him but not with me.. so I tell her that. That I was hurt about thosr things. She told me to forget the lunch as I wasn't okay with.\n\nNext day I ask her if she still felt something for him or if she'd prefer being with him rather than me. She told me I could think whatever I want, do whatever I want, that she had nothing to say.\n\nI decided to brush it off and think it was just me being mad cause of all the grief we went through that week and then we both went to have an awesome day on the day after.\n\nBut, after all this I'm still kinda hurt. I do understand I'm not the perfect boyfriend and that maybe I shouldn't have asked those things.. but damn I had to let it out..", "summary": "Gf might still have feelings gor ex. Are there any reasons I should be afraid? Did I do the best thing?"} {"id": "t3_4j47wf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [17M] has been threatening to hit me [17F] and I don't know if I have feelings for my friend [17M] because I feel safe with him.", "post": "So I just got home from school, I left early today because my English teacher is not here and I have free periods for the rest of the day. \n\nI live in Melbourne Australia and my Boyfriend moved from Queensland to Melbourne. I guess you could lump me in with the \"pretty popular girls\" at high school. Let me tell you something popularity is bullshit, my sister was popular and it meant nothing when she left high school. \n\nMy boyfriend gets really rude to me sometimes. He gets angry at me if I don't wear free dress under my school uniform. He threatens to hit me on several occasions when he gets mad. He always apologised and said he would not do it again. He threatened to hit me again today and I want to leave him. \n\nFor a while now I have had feelings for a friend of mine. He goes to the same school as me and I started to talk to him in a group project. He is attractive and he and his friends are hilarious, everyone knows them. \n\nI have started having feelings for him, but I am not sure if it because my current boyfriend treats me badly and then apologises. He is in most of my classes and my locker is not far from his. \n\nWe sometimes get the train home together and I just feel safe with him. He makes me laugh, he does not have a girlfriend. But I just don't know if the feelings I have for him stem from my poor treatment. \n\nHow do I get through this?", "summary": "My boyfriend treats me poorly and threatened to hit me. I have this guy friend who I have feelings for, but I don't know if these feelings are just a result of feeling unsafe with my boyfriend"} {"id": "t3_3fiv2m", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I'm 25 and learning how to budget. How much money should go toward enjoying life v. grad school ?", "post": "So I am 25 female, I have no student loans and no debt. I previously lived with my parents and worked part time/hourly, so I have 7,000 saved up. I just got a full time job for 37,000$ and since I have moved to a state up north, my relatives have generously offered/begged me to let me live with them for the next two years rent-free. (Also, my dad gave me 1000 dollars to buy winter clothes... which has to be excessive right? Unless the canadian border really is that bad...)\n\nI generally think I am a good saver, but I have been slipping up recently by not setting a concrete budget on leisure activities/ red bull consumption. Also, I spent several thousand visiting several countries but I only hopped on that because I had an opportunity to make it cheaper than it would normally be.\n\nAny way, since I won't be spending 30% of my paycheck towards rent, I thought I would but 10% in my 401(k), and put 20% in regular savings. In a matter of fact, I would like to put more than 20% in regular savings. Because when I finally get my own place, I don't want to be used to spending 70% of my income and not knowing how to save extra.\n\nBut the whole thing is confusing me because I now have to pay for my own food, gym membership and one-time purchases like snow tires and office clothes. I can't plan on how much gasoline I will be using because I don't know the state yet and where I will want to drive. I probably need plane tickets to see family because 8-11 hours driving is too much, but I still want to travel internationally. And then I really want to save for a good grad school, but also maybe take french classes this year or buy adobe illustrator. \n\nWhen I think of all these things my head starts spinning, and I try to divide and separate my income, I keep forgetting to set aside some monthly money for me to grab a beer or buy some lipstick. So this is all sort of a stream of consciousness by now but I will sum it up as follows:", "summary": "37,000 income, no rent. What percentage of my income should go toward saving for grad school/educational tools, and what percentage should go to actually enjoying my life and not worrying about snow-tires."} {"id": "t3_12p51m", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, have you ever tried to do something nice for someone and have it completely blow up in your face? Tell me about it.", "post": "I work as a medical assistant in an eye clinic, and I have a pretty good reputation at being good at what I do. A little proof: I am the \"nurse\" cited in this story [notalwaysright.com](\n\nWell, I had a patient recently that was left unattended in our contact lens area. Usually, this never happens, but another assistant dropped her off in there and had to go tend to a phone call.\n\nIn the 15 seconds she was left alone, she managed to pick up the ONLY bottle in the entire room that could injure her; a hydrogen peroxide based contact cleaning solution called Clear Care. It's safe for contacts, but bad news for your eyeballs.\n\nShe picks up this bottle and ejects this solution straight into her eye (Note: The bottle has a red label that tells you not to put it into your eye, along with a red top that typically indicates BAD NEWS). I'm on lunch at this point, reading a Magic:The Gathering novel and indulging in a leftover Halloween sucker. 2 assistants come running from the front of the office and tell me the story.\n\nI abandon my book and run up front, sit the lady down and start flushing her eye as much as I can. Finally I'm able to get it washed out enough to check for corneal damage and it seems she's a'ok. I lean back to tell her this and notice her glaring at me.\n\n\"Is everything alright?\" I asked, noting that \"is everything alright\" was probably a stupid question 25 seconds after a severe burning sensation to the eyeball. \n\nThe lady picks up her purse, stands and pushes past me, eyeballing my forgotten Halloween sucker. I had forgotten I was eating it and did the entire procedure with it in my mouth. \"That's really gross, and totally unprofessional.\" She snaps before walking out to the reception area and filing a complaint with my doctor ABOUT ME.\n\nI was absolutely dumbfounded, I couldn't believe this had really happened.", "summary": "Lady burns her eye with hydrogen peroxide and calls me unprofessional for eating a sucker while I cleaned her eye out."} {"id": "t3_1vj7nv", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (27/f) have a fuck buddy (25/m) and a potential longterm boyfriend (30/m). Need help.", "post": "I've been having nsa sex with my fb, who isn't bf material, for the past 6 months. I also date other guys casually, since I'd like to find a longterm bf, but I'm not having sex with them. \n\nI've been dating a new guy for the past two weeks and I'm pretty sure things are going to get serious. We haven't had sex yet and he hasn't asked to make things exclusive. We have another date planned for Monday.\n\nMeanwhile my fb wants to hang out tonight and I haven't gotten laid in a while. He knows I'm dating the other guy and doesn't have a problem with it. \n\nWould it be wrong to sleep with the fb?", "summary": "I have a fb but I think it might get serious with another guy I'm dating. Would it be wrong to sleep with the fb?"} {"id": "t3_3xv1vn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25/F] was invited to my friends' annual Christmas Party but I'm so broke I feel like I will be left out.", "post": "I feel pretty embarrassed and childish...\n\nEvery year my friends' have an annual Christmas party with ~50 people.Normally I have gifts ready for couple people and we have gift exchanges and a nice potluck. \n\nThis year I'm broke. I lost my house and family. My dad died last month and didn't tell most people. (Told my closest friends about it and they haven't contacted me ever since... maybe I got them feel uncomfortable? Think i'm too broke to hangout? Idk but I feel like I shouldn't have told anyone. Rumors went around quick so some people know, apparently.) \nI've focused my time in school this year that I haven't hung out with people every week like I used to. \n\nI'm not sure what I'm really worried about but I feel uncomfortable. I feel so dead poor and out of place that I might bring negative vibe or something to the party. \n\nI feel like I need to go because I haven't seen people in months and I don't want boyfriend to be there alone when I said I would go. \n\nI've always been the \"jokester\" type in that group and I feel like i'd be weird if I suddenly write them a Christmas card as a gift suddenly. I don't know. \n\nI'm not sure if cards will be enough...how to interact, what to talk about, etc. etc. \n\nMy boyfriend bought me so much baking supplies for me to bake for the party but didn't come out well... I feel like I wasted his money too... fuck. \n\nI feel like not baking and not going to the party will make me \"running away\".. but not sure what to do from here. \n\nI want to prepare myself for the party but not sure how to make the best out of it.. sorry if this is going all over the place.", "summary": "Haven't seen people in months and feel too insecure to see people again. I need to go but not sure how to prepare it."} {"id": "t3_37jv0x", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by showing my brother Futurama", "post": "This happened a few months ago. I am 15 and at the time my brother (lets call him Henry) was six and was in first grade. I picked up him and his best friend (lets call him Alex) from school. I had to look after them for 2 hours until my mum came home and i needed to get my homework done so i put on Futurama for them. When mum came home she turned off the T.V and dropped Alex home. The next day i get home to find my mum and dad at home wanting to talk to me. Apparently my brother and his friend had got in a lot of trouble for talking about sex in class. I was shocked and asked why he did it. Well it turns out that in the Futurama episode fry and some other male characters met some \"horny\" giants and they were chanting that they wanted \"Snoo Snoo\". It also turned out that Alex was chanting Snoo Snoo over and over at home and his big sister told him it meant sex. Well my Brother was began chanting Snoo Snoo sex when they were at school and got a large group of boys to chant it without knowing the true meaning.\nI am now grounded and so is my brother.", "summary": "Showed my bro sexual futurama and he chanted an unknowingly sexual chant at school and got in trouble from the school."} {"id": "t3_4z747j", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by hip checking an older woman in the elevator", "post": "I work in an industrial business complex, very white-collar environment where each floor and/or building could house a different company. Taking the elevator to my 19th floor, I'm not paying attention and instead looking down on my phone. The elevator stops a floor early and, still not paying attention and thinking this is my stop, my stride is now timed in cadence with an older woman (mid-50's, I'm in my early 30's and male). We both reach the elevator exit at the same time. The elevator opening is unable to accommodate the width of both our bodies. The force of my frame and hip crash into the woman's torso, launching her into the side of the elevator. \n\nShe careened off the side of the elevator and luckily stayed on her feet as she wobbled out. \n\nI let out a helpless, \"sorry, so sorry\" and caught the door to hold it open to make sure she was OK.\n\nShe had this, \"I'm embarrassed\", \"why do bad things happen to good people\" look. She stuttered an, \"I'm fine\" and walked away shaking her head letting out a soft sigh.", "summary": "I accidentally hip checked a helpless older woman getting out of the elevator because I had a total disregard for others around me."} {"id": "t3_41ffam", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Help with Depression and Panic Attacks in the Workplace", "post": "##**Some Backstory:**\n\nFor quite some time, I've been seeking on again off again treatment for depression and anxiety. I started a job with a company in July and everything's been relatively alright until recently, with a few hiccups here and there. \n\nHowever, over the last month or so, the job has been increasingly putting pressure on me, and life itself has been insanely stressful. My Girlfriend of several years left for 2 months to have surgery and recover from it. My student loans are causing me enough grief to get a lawyer involved. My mother is undergoing cancer treatment for the 4th time. It all happened within a short period of time. \n\nThis has sent my depression through the roof, with the new addition of constant panic attacks. I've seen the doctor twice in the past week and a half, both times out of pocket as my employer has not (6 months in, now) evaluated my performance, and provided me with benefits/salaried pay, as I was told I would have within 90 days of starting.\n\n##**What I need advice for:**\nSince I've started, I've noticed a trend both with my supervisor/boss and my co-workers. They all seem to have a fairly negative view of people with mental health issues. We have an ex-marine with obvious signs of PTSD, and they constantly harass/joke about his situation. I honestly can't tell the difference between friendly joking and aggressive harassment. \n\nI've been on leave for the past several days, suggested by my doctor. I have proof that I saw him and a note excusing me from work. However, I know when I do return to work, I'll be asked by my boss what the situation is. I'm hesitating telling him that I'm suffering from Major Depression, Generalized Anxiety and that I've been suffering from Panic Attacks at work on a regular basis. I have this feeling that there's nothing positive that can come of me revealing this to them. \n\nWhat should I do? There's no HR department, as it's a small company. And at the rate that I'm going, I don't think my situation is going to be getting any better any time soon.", "summary": "Sufferring from bad bout of Depression, Anxiety and Panic Attacks. Workplace has a history of harassing people with Mental Health issues. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_34cyhb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Newly single, I can't tell if this nurse is just being friendly.", "post": "I(24m) newly single for the first time in 6 years am confused on my next step (due to my sever lack of \"game\"). I work as an paramedic in a fairly small community and while talking to one of the nurses my relationship with my ex came up. I casually mentioned that we weren't seeing each other anymore and then got sent out on a call. \n\nThe nurse (21-22f) (who I've know for about 6 months usually chat for 5-6 minutes at a time) almost immediately added me on Facebook and struck up a conversation. \n\nSo my question is, am I reading to much into this? Or should I being asking this girl out for drinks or dinner?", "summary": "I'm dumb and don't know if a girl likes me or not cause the last time I was single you made your buddy pass a note in the hallway."} {"id": "t3_2mgotz", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by letting my dick do the thinking", "post": "A good friends sister moved to our city from another province and he asked me and another mutual buddy to help move her in to her place. We agreed and go down to her place, meet her for the first time, and proceed to move her in. She has an instant attraction to other buddy and they start a relationship. Her brother is OK with it because buddy is a good kid and responsible. Anyway one thing leads to another and he gets her pregnant and I'm told of the dilemma because they don't know what to do. I tell them it's either they keep it or terminate the pregnancy. They decided abortion is best and book an appointment to get it done. Buddy who got her pregnant tells her after the abortion they are done, do she is heartbroken and doesn't know what to do. We, as a group, go out to the bar and she is mangled drunk, and starts texting me suggestive things. I'm half cut at this point and my dick takes over and one thing leads to another and I end up fucking her. I'm scared what will happen if her bro finds out because we are such good friends :(", "summary": "buddy's sister moves to our city, other buddy gets her pregnant and he tells her after the abortion it's over, and she convinces me to sleep with her when I'm drunk to get back at other buddy."} {"id": "t3_gtpk2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "how much freedom should a kid have over his future?", "post": "so I was reading the AMA about the guys who's son works in pornography and the responses surprised me. I understand if a parent doesn't like what their kid is doing, but should you really be applying your own morals to his future? several redditors were saying what's wrong with a parent wanting their son to live a good successful life. but what defines what is good and successful? if the kid enjoys it and can support them-self on it isn't that good and successful? or does a Childs career have to fit the vision of their parents?\nlet's try to move away from the porn example, for the sake of discussion about what control a parent has say over having their kid become a doctor versus if he wants to be an actor.", "summary": "should a kid or his/her parents define what is good for their future? assuming of course the 'kid' is over the age of 18."} {"id": "t3_2au99y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] with my 20 F of 2 years just broke up", "post": "We have been dating just over 2 years. We have had a really bad past. Yelling arguing, name calling. It wasnt pretty. I have been physical. I know its wrong. I think about it daily. If you feel like reminding me, go ahead. When we were getting along and happy it was awesome. The last few months ive beem trying to be a nicer and sweeter SO. Asking to see her more. Giving her the little things a relationship needs. The last week we have talked and have hung out. She says she misses me but gets scared about trusting me again because of the past. One part wants me, the other says no you dont get another chance. Does this relationship sound completely lost? Please help reddit. I want her back", "summary": "was a shitty boyfriend. Tried to show i changed but said it was too late. Sorry for the long post. Long nights get me thinking :/ pm me if have more detailed advice or want a more in depth story"} {"id": "t3_1ic1jy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [17M] has \"fallen out of love with me\" [17F] and i want to try to save the relationship. Help!", "post": "My bf (17M) and I (17F) have been dating for almost a year and a half. We have been really strong and don't really fight, but sometimes he becomes distant, and I probably do too.\n\n We both lost our virginity to each other a month ago, and I thought it was the right decision because it seemed natural. But now I'm not so sure.\n\n Anyway, I was gone this week on a camping trip (no phone/ contact for 5 days) and I was excited to be back and see him, but he was 0% enthusiastic when he saw me. I don't know if it was because of his new job, or because he is nervous about applying early decision to a college or what, but something wasn't right. We literally just watched TV, and it was a bit odd because he is really physical. \n\nI saw him the next day and we hung out for a bit, but when convo lagged for a bit he said I should go home because he had \"things to do\" before work. That hurt, because I knew he didn't. Last night I texted him asking why he was being distant and he replied that he had a lot on his mind and \"was falling out of love with me.\" I found out that he had been feeling that way for about two weeks, and I don't know what to do. I asked if we could try to mend the relationship, which he said had problems mainly \"mentally.\" He agreed to try but I was, to say the least, thrown for a loop because I know I still love him, and I thought the relationship was going really well (there are occasional spots of disconnect for a few days, but we always talk and work it out). I just don't know this time because it was so unnoticed and abrupt and I want to know what I should do.\n\n I have a month to try to mend this, and I don't want to end the relationship. It would be great if I could get advice on spicing up dates, new/ fairly unusual topics to talk about, things to say or cute things to do for him, and general suggestions other than that. Thanks!", "summary": "my boyfriend and I [17M/ 17F] have had a great relationship, but last night he said he had/is fallen/falling out of love with me. Suggestions on how to save this relationship?"} {"id": "t3_2xeclz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [23F] too old for him [20M]?", "post": "I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now and things are great. It's the best relationship I have ever had. He's caring, loving, ambitious, and we share the same values and life goals.\n\nHowever, the age difference is always in the back of my mind, making me wonder if I'm doing something wrong by dating him. He's still in college and I've graduated a little while ago... And I know people say that dating younger mean's you're not mature enough to date someone your own age.\n\nDoes that apply to this 3-year age difference? If so, how do I know if that's why I chose him? \n\nI guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that this age gap is normal and healthy. He says he never thinks about it, but I also think that's because if people are going to judge us for the age gap they'll put the blame on me.", "summary": "Is it healthy for me to date a guy 3 years younger than me, at this stage of my life (he's in college and I've graduated)? Everything else in our relationship is fantastic."} {"id": "t3_3j1zqw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Best friend (39F) drops contact with me (34F) & vaguebooks when mad but denies it. How can I put my foot down?", "post": "Recently, my best friend dropped contact for several weeks. I gave her the benefit of the doubt at first (assumed she was busy), then checked in to see if she was okay. She either blew me off or responded curtly. In the meantime, she vaguebooked things that felt targeted towards me (\"I hate people who...\"). I tried not to personalize it, but it became apparent there was a problem. (Many passive aggressive acts.) I backed off.\n\nNow, after several weeks, she's reaching out. I'd love to air things out and mend fences, but have no idea how to do that in a healthy manner. She tends to give the cold shoulder when upset (rather than speak up). She uses tactics that are meant to hurt or gain attention, but specifically those that can be denied later (\"Oh, I was busy,\" \"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it,\" etc.).\n\nI'm really easygoing, direct but kind and approachable. My friends never have to worry if there's a problem, because I'm responsive and welcome criticism or even anger, so long as it's respectful. I try to accommodate people within reason, so if someone has a particular sensitivity, I try to be responsive to it. (That is, I'm not someone you have to fear confrontation with.)\n\nHow can I \"call\" someone on behavior they (technically, plausibly) deny? How can I draw a boundary here? It feels silly to say, \"If you go out of contact again, our friendship is over,\" because I don't expect to constantly be in touch. Likewise, it feels absurd to say, \"Don't vaguebook at me,\" since there's no way to prove for certain it's directed at me vs. one of her hundreds of her other friends.\n\nI'd otherwise like to keep the friendship, but don't want to feel like I'm waiting for her to be secretly offended again, or waiting for unanswered texts to become weeks of silence. Is there any good way to draw a boundary, so this doesn't happen again?", "summary": "Friend gets angry but uses withdrawal / silent treatment / vaguebooking to communicate that. How can I respond well when she denies those things were personal, even when they obviously are?"} {"id": "t3_4ejr3m", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "I've been hired as a photographer for a temporary job assignment, and I feel they're low-balling me. How do I approach requesting a higher figure?", "post": "I've been into photography for years, and I know my way behind a camera. Yes, everyone with a DSLR is a photographer these days, but I actually know my shit. I've captured hundreds of shows and even a handful of weddings, but I've never been paid for my services. \n\nI'm unemployed and in-between jobs, but I recently llanded a gig at a local business documenting one of their projects. My job is to observe, photograph, document the build process step by step, and create a power point presentation. \n\nThey've offered me $20 an hour. Work is 25 miles away and I've been stuck out in the hot sun twice already. When we initially discussed my range, I said \"some photographers work for as low as $30 to $40 per hour, while others expect $150 to $200 depending on the occasion or assignment\". They then said they would talk it over and prepare a letter of consignment for me within a few days, which I received today (at the end of my second day on site). \n\nI was pretty surprised to see they had settled on a figure as low as $20 when I felt I made it clear that $30 - $40 was the lowest I was comfortable with. \n\nOn the one hand, it's a job. It's better than nothing, and truth be told it IS easy work. Dirt easy, actually. On the other hand, I don't like being low-balled and taken, I feel, advantage of.", "summary": "Offered $20 an hour for my time and skill, feel I'm worth at least $30 per hour, if not more. Considering approaching them instead of accepting their offer. Wat do?"} {"id": "t3_51s4wl", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How forgiving should I [30/F] be to a good friend [32/M] who has been under stress?", "post": "I've been good friends with this guy for nearly 7 years. He's always been super sweet and considerate. Over the last year and a half, we've decided to become something more like friends with benefits. At first, it was just fine, but in the past few months, he's become for the lack of a better term, an asshole. \n\nWe've always messaged each other about stuff like asking how was your day or just to chat. In the past months, he's stopped messaging me first, I always have to message him to initiate a conversation. And half the time, my messages go ignored. He'll still be friendly in group situations and when we're face to face, but when we chat over messages, I'm usually ignored. I've tried bringing it up to him, but he just says I'm being paranoid over nothing. If I press the matter, I get snapped at and told I'm being ridiculous. He never replies when I ask to hang out, so I've been seeing less and less of him, but he'll readily hang out with other people. The only time he'll actually initiate a chat with me or talk to me for an extended period of time is when he's asking for sexual photos of me cause he's horny.\n\nI know he's been under a lot of stress lately with both a job he hates and recently his dad just had a stroke. So I want to be forgiving and understanding, but I can't help feeling like I went from friends with benefits to just benefits only.", "summary": "Good friend went from being a sweet guy to a raging asshole probably due to stress, but how much is too much to put up with?"} {"id": "t3_rksbv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what's your best \"Good Guy Greg\" moment?", "post": "Mine has to be this one time I was at the bus stop my junior year of highschool.\n\nMy friend was a complete wimp. Stature, personality, etc. Not that I was much better, except in the personality department. I would do just about anything that would not send me to the hospital.\n\nSo one day, some big guy, probably 275+ lbs, 6'5\", started pushing my friend around, calling him racial slurs. I pushed him, and said to go fuck with someone else.\n\nI regretted almost immediately, but I kept a straight face. He gets in my face, and asks if I have a problem. I figured it was too late to back down, so I loudly said, \"Yeah, fucker, why are you picking on him, you mother fucking faggot?\", hoping to gather some attention from someone to have this stopped. \n\nHe starts laughing, says, \"You wanna fight, you little bitch?\"\n\nI remembered something that a kid like me used to get out of a fight a few years ago at another school. I looked up at him and said, \"Yeah, bitch, lets go.\"\n\nHe smiles, and I take off my shirt. He takes off his too.\nI start unbuttoning and taking off my pants, his face was priceless. \n\n\"Wha- what the fuck are you doing?\"\n\n\"NIGGA WE GONNA DO THIS RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA FIGHT NAKED BITCH\"\n\nI had an audience at this point, and they started chuckling. \n\n\"Hell no nigga, I ain't fighting naked, get your clothes on\"\n\n\"FUCK YOU BITCH I FIGHT NAKED, IT'S HOW I DO SHIT!\"\n\nHe was starting to get nervous as I was down to my boxers and some bus drivers were stepping off of their buses. \n\nHe jumped on his bus and said, \"You're fucking crazy bro, what the fuck is wrong with you.\"", "summary": "Friend was getting picked on by a huge guy. I stepped in and he wanted to fight, I took off my clothes to fight naked, he noped right out of there."} {"id": "t3_3bmon8", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by almost breastfeeding my nephew", "post": "First off, I'm a guy which makes this whole ordeal 10x weirder. \n\nSo this fuck up happened Sunday night while I was attending a birthday party for my little niece. We all gathered around as she proceeded to open Frozen present after Frozen present. Admittedly I was a little bored so I thought it would be a fun idea to hold my new nephew for a little bit. I'm usually not one to hold babies, but I have a soft spot for this little guy as he has an enormous baby head and it makes me chuckle every time I interact with him. So I pick the little fellow up and everyone is oohing and awing as the little tyke is snuggling up to me. Wow, this isn't so bad I think to myself. After about three minutes he starts trying to bury his gargantuan head into my chest. Me being a rookie have no idea what he is trying to do and assume he is just being extra cuddly. Because of this, I make no attempts to stop him from grabbing at my plus sized man boobies. Soon everyone in the room is staring at me and begin to burst out laughing. At this point in time I still have no idea what's going on. Finally the light bulb in my head turns on. Babies are mammals, mammals get milk from their mothers breast, I'm a bit chubby and have man boobs, this fucking baby thinks he is at an all you can eat milk buffet. I quickly handed the baby back to his mother so she could give him a proper meal. Not sure if I will ever live this one down. \n\n(", "summary": ") Decided to hold my 8 month old nephew while at a family party, thought he was being super cuddly, turns out he was looking for dinner."} {"id": "t3_500n70", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 27 M with my boyfriend 34 M for 2 years, How do I become a better listener?", "post": "Lately we've really gotten into some heated arguments. He expressed to me several times that he doesn't feel like he's being heard and/or appreciated.\n\nWhenever we talk I always try to stop what I'm doing to hear him. If there's something I didn't catch,I always ask for clarification ex. \"What did you say before that?\" \"Can you say that again?\" \n\nThere are sometimes when I'm in the middle of housework or something that requires my attention and I'll give him one word answers or tell him I'm trying to complete something so he knows I can really delve into a conversation with him.\n\nBut lately it's gotten pretty bad where I will completely forget something he told me until he mentions it to me a second time. It's not that I'm outright ignoring him, he expressed that's how this feels to him. But it's just me forgetting. I have a bit of a poor memory, I tend to forget dates, holidays, events etc. (unless they are written down or I have event reminders). \n\nHow can I be a better listener? I don't want him to feel unheard. When I can, I do give him my attention and listen to him. But it's the small details that get between us because those are usually easy for me to forget and they are also the things that will make him feel unheard.\n\nI've thought of trying to write everything down but after thinking about it, it would be really difficult to incorperate, not mention more time consuming. \n\nHas anyone had a similar issue? How can I be better at listening and making my partner feel heard?", "summary": "I forget some of the things my partner tells me and it makes him feel unheard/What can I do to fix this?"} {"id": "t3_4ph26q", "subreddit": "college", "title": "What are some good extracurriculars I can get into?", "post": "I'm looking to get into an elite college. I have good academics but I know that won't help me fly into an elite college easily. I go to a \"poor\" high school (according to my peers) allegedly, but I see that my options for extracurriculars are very limited.\n\nI want to be a computer science major when I go into college, just keep that in mind.\n\nI want to go into an elite college. Not talking Ivy League, with the opportunities given by our school, that's hardly possible, but I have my eyes set on Cornell University because I believe I can make it if I truly try.\n\nSo that's the thing about those top elite colleges, they don't just want academics, they want extracurriculars, so what can I do that'll help me in the admissions process? I'm an open-minded person that loves trying new things, meaning that I'm not asking just for the sake of getting into a good college.\n\nI'm currently a dancer (company/performance level), school tennis player (Varsity division), and policy debater (Varsity division). I volunteer at the local debate league to judge tournaments for middle school students enrolled in their school's debate program, which gets me a few dozen hours but not adequate.\n\nFor next year I'm looking to do National Honor Society (community service and tutoring) and math team (might help for my STEM major).\n\nSince my school's ECs are pretty limited I'm preferably looking for something I can do outside of school in my own time. Tennis and debate particularly take up most of my after school time so other school ECs wouldn't work well because of conflicting schedules, but I think I can be well-off with something outside of school.", "summary": "Give me an EC that'll help me get into an elite college. I'm open-minded so anything is welcome and I'd love to try."} {"id": "t3_1aq3g7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by going ape shit at 3 am.", "post": "Now, the whole story requires some explanation, so bear with me.\n\nMy next door neighbors have servants (slightly low paid butlers/maids, without all the etiquette butlers/maids usually have), which outnumber the occupants of the house in a ratio of 1:3. The servants live in their own quarters, which are an extension of the house. The problem is that their quarters are right in front of my window, and if i was crazy enough I could easily jump the gap in between.\n\nHere's where the problem begins. They got two new dogs (male and female). And they're living right where the servants are. Naturally, they engage in loud, dog sex for a better part of the night. \n\nAlong with that, they also got a new radio, which is on full blast all night long.\n\nThe worst part is that the servants have a tendency to fight at night. They yell, hit each other with sticks, and eventually become friends and make up. And by make up I mean they engage in some really freaky, loud sex. Sometimes when the radio is on, sometimes when the dogs are doing it, sometimes when all three are taking place at the same time. They get so loud that I have trouble hearing music through my headphones.\n\nNow that I've gone through the explanation, let me tell you what happened. I had a maths exam the following morning, and I was trying to concentrate and study. Naturally, I was in a bad mood. And that's when they start with the lovemaking. Oh god, they even broke a washing machine during all that, and soon enough I lost it. I got up, started swearing at the top of my voice and whatnot. This resulted in everyone in my house waking up and listening to the kind of swearwords I, er, swear(?). And the worst part? The guys next door didn't even stop.", "summary": "Neighbors were doing the nasty at 3 am, I got pissed, started swearing and raging and now am grounded for all the swearing I did. "} {"id": "t3_3aaub5", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by going to a dishonest shop to have my oil changed for the past 12 months.", "post": "Most expensive fuck up of my life. I've been going to a chain oil change place to have my oil changed for the past year. Today I was driving to work and when I tried to accelerate to get onto the freeway my car wouldn't move. It tried so hard to accelerate with no success. I was like, \"what the fuck?\" So I decide to get off on the next exit and turn around and go home so I'm not stranded on the freeway. \n\nNow I notice my car is making a knocking sound. For, apparently, any car savvy person... this is not a good sound to hear. I manage to make it to a mechanic shop by my house. They inspect my car and revved the engine.... which produced the most horrid screeching sound I've ever heard. The mechanics in the shop, even the receptionist, look at each other and shake their heads. Great. They tell me that if the place that was changing my oil would have told me that I had a leak that could have been fixed by a $60 part, it could have saved me from having to BUY A NEW ENGINE. Fuck me. I work 2 jobs, luckily one of them is within walking distance. I just have to figure out how to live off of one income...", "summary": "Place that I went to have my oil changed failed to tell me about a leak that needed a $60 part. Now I have to get a new engine."} {"id": "t3_2bv1wc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M15] have feelings for a girl [F16] i met online and dont know what to do.", "post": "Hey guys,\nI recently(2months ago) met a girl online ,lets call her Emily.\nEmily and I met on a game many of you may know, League of Legends, and we got pretty good friends and started skyping and chatting over hours everyday. She has the most fun and loving personality i've ever seen someone have and we have a lot in common (interests)\nNow slowly i developed feelings for her and I really am not sure how to handle all that, for more information: \nWe both live in different countries but already talked about meeting each other, we camed a lot of times.\nI really started liking her, maybe its more then just liking her, and i know it sounds like im just a teenager whos overreacting or taking it too serious, but when im with her i just have that feeling that im all these things that i want to be i feel like im charming and funny, everytime we skype both of us just laugh and have a lot of flirty talk.\nUnder normal circumstances i wouldn't have any problems waiting for her to come over and then tell her about how i feel, but what really drives me crazy and makes me unsure of how she feels is that she has a lot of friends that have crushes on her and she told me that she doesnt like that and that she feels like its awkward.\nAnd thats what makes me nervous.. i dont want to just be another guy that has a crush on her and now i just cant figure out a way to find out what she feels about me and how to confront her with my feelings because i always have the thought in the back of my mind that im just one of many and that just makes me go crazy...", "summary": "Met a girl online and im unsure of how to find out what she feels for me and how to tell her about my feelings."} {"id": "t3_nhtfx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "In general, why are girls uninterested in anything that lacks substance? (Best word I can come up with at the moment)", "post": "Seriously. Even girls who're smart school wise, seem to not care for any further education or thought provoking topics. There're a few female friends of mine who get higher marks than me, but there is no way in hell you could ever argue that they are smarter. They achieve these marks through studying and such for the test, but why is it that they won't spend their time learning about new things or developing a hobby? They're content in talking about guys, shopping, and pop culture. What the fuck, seriously. \n\nThis is a generalisation - obviously there are some awesome girls out there. Generally though, those that are awesome tend to be ugly or take poor care of themselves. Is this an evolutionary thing where the ones who aren't as attractive try to compensate through other means (e.g. having the ability to have a conversation about current events with them, developments in science, etc.) in order to procreate?", "summary": "why are most girls, despite doing well in school dumb as fuck, and/or why are the ones who aren't dumb as fuck ugly as fuck. again, this is a *generalisation*."} {"id": "t3_30hilo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [30M] am annoyed by gf [27F]", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for about 6 months, and we moved in together 4 months ago because she needed a bit of help with bills. Her and I have been friends since middle school and over-all I have mad love for the girl. But she's got this problem.. where she's a huge jerk. She is a know-it-all of incorrect information who literally will not be corrected. \n \n Small example: the other day we were chatting about daylight savings, when she started \"educating\" me about how it's an American idea and Benjamin Franklin pushed for it. Having recently researched DST, I disagreed. I brought up the facts, and she became offended, so I offered proof, so she wouldn't be misinformed but she became more argumentative as I tried to move on. \n \n A larger, more trying example, is last night. I was watching the new Cosmos for the first time and it was actively blowing my mind, when she starts ranting about the obvious atheist agenda. I was raised Catholic but became atheist after a series of intense soul searching and she is a \"spiritual\" christian who doesn't actually practice Christianity. I told her that I didn't create the show, but I am enjoying it, and asked that she just respect my choices. I agree with Cosmos, that organized religion has actively held back scientific progress. She continued to persist (yelling, mind you) that Carl Sagan's original Cosmos was being tarnished and that Mr. Sagan was an avid Christian, which is also the opposite of true. I kept asking her to simply stop yelling, drop the topic and enjoy the knowledge for what it's worth.. or simply stop watching. This unfriendly, one-sided debate continued for hours, even all the way to bed before she went to sleep, as I just endured being cornered about how it's not fair for this tv show that has nothing to do with me is educating people against the bible. \n \n Long story short.. what the fuck, man? She started off cool and now over the past month, she has just been the crazy activist for ignorance, battling against me about things that I don't even feel like talking about. Life's too damn short to fight like this.", "summary": "My girlfriend gives incorrect information and gets overly agressive about opinions to the point of causing day-long fights if I disagree with her."} {"id": "t3_1la76w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [29M] boyfriend believes in a \"don't ask, don't tell\" policy when it comes to travelling and hooking up with other people. I'm confused [23F]", "post": "My boyfriend thinks that it's all a part of the experience of traveling, casual sex does not mean love, and hooking up with other girls does not have anything to do with his love for me.\n\nI understand this at a conceptual level, but I'm still uncomfortably jealous knowing that it will happen. He's also going on a trip for one month and still wants to be in a relationship with me. We've been together for almost 9 months now.\n\nA part of me wonders if I'm being irrational and should just try to be mentally strong and confident. But then again-- what kind of freak of a person thinks it's okay to cheat on/hurt someone he loves under ANY circumstance?", "summary": "boyfriend thinks it's okay to hook up with other people while traveling in other countries under the \"don't ask, don't tell\" policy. Makes sense conceptually, but I feel uncomfortably jealous about it."} {"id": "t3_3iwnck", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (22F) have been asked to give a speech at my sister's (24F) wedding. We are not close and I don't know what to say.", "post": "My sister Kelly is getting married and she informed me and my other sister, Sarah (25F and recently married), that she wants us to give a speech at the wedding since the groom's brother is giving a speech. We both don't have any idea what to say.\n\nNone of us were close growing up, we didn't talk to each other much, and even today it's difficult to make genuine conversation. I can't really remember many fond memories.\n\nAnd so with Kelly's wedding a month away, Sarah and I are trying to piece together a speech, with zero ideas. It's just a really awkward situation. Any advise on how to do this?", "summary": "Sister has asked my other sister and I to make a speech at her wedding, but we are not close at all."} {"id": "t3_xz8xz", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/m] slow moving relationship, how to avoid friendzone?", "post": "Been dating this girl recently for almost a month and everything has been going pretty smoothly. Girl seems to be on a conservative side/seems to want to take it slow. I'm fine with that, but I want to avoid heading into the friendzone. We've already had our first kiss(after 2 dates), but not our first makeout session if that makes any sense. We've been holding hands ever since we first started to, but my friend had told me about how he too had been hand holding this girl and things just never escalated...\n\nI feel like I should try to escalate more, but I don't want to be pushy due to her seeming like she wants to take it slow...I've tried steering the conversation before into something sexual but it didn't work(she didn't seem like she wanted to talk about it) so I gave up.", "summary": "going out with girl for a month but only kissed once very lightly. girl seems conservative. how to avoid friendzone?"} {"id": "t3_3i0s69", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being nice at a bar", "post": "This happened about a month ago.\n\nI have a tendency to be nice to people when really I shouldn't. Reason being, let's face it, people suck. \n\nLong story short I have to walk with a cane cause I had hip surgery. I haven't left the house much because walking sucks. \nI have reached a whole new level of bored. My friends being friends they force me to go out to the bar with them so I'm not cooped up at home. \n\nLet me just say, I really don't like bars. I've come to a point in my life where I don't like being in loud places full of obnoxious drunk people (sorry not sorry). Especially since all the bars in New York are now flooded with yuppies & trust fund babies. \n\nI go to this bar, and the first thing I wanna do is sit. It's crowded so I can't find a seat and I post up against a wall by the bathroom (no line surprisingly, that's why I stood there.) It's easier on my hip to lean on something. There's a guy standing diagonally from me who looks just as bored as I do. We both watch this girl come out of the bathroom and I happened to notice she had toilet paper stuck to her shoe. I tap her till she finally noticed and she turns around and gives me a \"ugh who is tapping me\" look. I point down to signal to her shoe. While also trying mouth out \"you have tissue\". \nWhat happens next I was at a loss of words for. She kicks the long piece of toilet paper tissue off of her shoe and it goes right on top my foot and my cane. And she just turns back around and walks away.\nMy jaw fucking drops, I don't even know why it surprises me anymore. I look around to make sure I wasn't the o my one who witnessed this. The guy standing diagonally from me looks right at me with the look of shock and starts bursting with laughter to reassure me I wasn't crazy. My friend then comes running from across the room and says to me \"That's why I don't fucking help people.\" My bf tells me this all the time, I'm glad he wasn't there to witness this.", "summary": "tried to be nice by telling someone they had TP stuck to their shoe only to then have it thrown on top of my shoe."} {"id": "t3_4ypxy0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [22m] has been telling his coworkers he's baking the goodies he asks me [20f] to make for their weekly potluck.", "post": "It was really off-putting to find out and I told him I didn't like that he did that. He laughed and told me I was being immature. \n\nI know it's childish of me to want secondhand glory from people I don't know and that I'm baking for him, not to impress strangers, so it shouldn't matter what he does with them. But it bothers me! I've been annoyed all day whenever he points out a recipe he thinks I should use for next week. \n\nI used to bake to express affection (and maybe part of me liked that he took them to work and got compliments) but now I'm resenting the thought of making him something.", "summary": "I don't want to be boyfriend's ghost baker anymore. I don't know how to move past my resentment and moodiness when he brings up recipes."} {"id": "t3_10d70j", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My house was robbed by a neighbor (juvenile) and I am raging so hard right now. What do I do?", "post": "A neighbor robbed my house a few months ago ($5000 in cash/items total). He robbed a few other house in town, attempted robbery on almost all of the houses on my block alone, broke into a neighbor's car, stole a gun and robbed one of his classmates too and was caught. He went to juvenile detention or something, apparently, but is out now. I never received info from the courts about any of his sentencing other than he is paying me restitution in the amount of my insurance deductible.\n\nAs a result of the robbery, I've had my homeowners insurance go up A SHITTON. I've had to install a security system, etc. I'm constantly in fear of my car an property being vandalized, and of course being robbed again when I am out at work.\n\nHe lives two houses away. We see each other's houses. He is having a birthday party right now with his family. They are laughing and having a good time and I am filled with absolute rage. I hear them I see them.\n\nI imagine myself shooting all of them, and shooting myself. I imagine setting their house on fire. \n\nJustice I don't feel has been served. In my victim report I asked for an apology letter and an explanation of what was precisely done with the items that were stolen, especially sentimental things and jewelry that had my FUCKING name engraved in it. The judge, the DA, the local police, etc all say no evidence recovered. Why isn't anyone asking him about what he did with it? Why are there no answers? I had all of my personal identification papers stolen. Why the fuck was he not charged with identity fraud? Where did my papers go?\n\nI can't move, I just moved to this neighborhood and can't afford to move again right now. Every time I see him, the wound is opened again.", "summary": "I have to live next to the piece of shit that robbed me. My privacy was completely shattered and I have no closure. The juvenile court, victim services, and local police, etc. seem to not care."} {"id": "t3_18sr1k", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Would you do anything with an attractive person you just met if you found out they were technically related to you?", "post": "This question is based on a real scenario I have come upon. Basically, I just met this girl, but it turns out she is the half-sister of my adopted cousin (we're not hillbillys, i swear). We somehow went 20 years without ever meeting, probably because we were never in much contact with that part of the family. She was kind of flirty with me, and I couldn't tell if she was hinting at something or just being sociable. If she was not technically within the family tree, I would be all over that. But I don't know if just being very vaguely related by law makes it off limits. And honestly, I don't even know if we actually are related. Reddit, please help me.", "summary": "Just met my adopted cousins half-sister for the first time, is she off limits? I swear I'm not a hillbilly."} {"id": "t3_2ipl6m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "LDR boyfriend has great job offer even further away. What do we do?", "post": "I (24 F) have been in a LDR with my BF (24 M) for almost two years. I've been in Canada the whole time but halfway through he moved to the states for school about a 5 hour drive away. We see each other about once a month. It's tough but we've decided it's worth the effort to make it work.\n\nHe's now interviewing for jobs. He's in software so there's a ton of stuff out there, especially in the San Francisco area. He's got a great and lucrative offer there and a great but not as high paying offer in the same city as me (which overall has less opportunity in software compared to San Francisco).\n\nI'm in school for public relations, and going to finish this year. Obviously my prospects aren't as good as his.\n\nWe're both struggling with what to do. We want to live in the same city. Does he take the job in the states and risk me not being able to get a visa or take the safer (probably less exciting) option here? We might get married as a last resort but neither of us wants to do the green card marriage.\n\nI guess this is a question about him but we're trying to figure this out together.", "summary": "should long distance BF take lucrative job that's further away or one that's in my city but lower pay/excitement?"} {"id": "t3_30s5dj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [F/19] with my SO [22/M] of 1.5 years-what's the most sensitive way to bring up his weight gain?", "post": "My boyfriend was extremely fit and muscular when I met him. Due to an injury he sustained in the fall and lack of exercise in the summer, he's gained at least 25 lbs.\n\nSo with all the other posts I've read on this topic, the advice is usually to be active together, start cooking together, etc. the issue with this is he can't do very many active things because of his injury and he can't get surgery to fix it for several more months. We could try cooking together, except we have opposite schedules, I'm a vegetarian he is not, various confounding factors. \n\nSo I guess the solution is to have a conversation about my losing attraction and maybe how he should change his eating habits? I suppose we could start doing low impact exercise, he has mentioned swimming. I just don't know if it's worth issuing an ultimatum, but it's terrible not being attracted to him anymore and I feel really shallow. Any other ideas on how I can bring this up/how we can face it is a couple?", "summary": "my boyfriend has gained a lot of weight and it is affecting my attraction to him-how do I convey this in a sensitive way?"} {"id": "t3_429ym8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (20F) am trying to move past my boyfriend (22M) cheating. Advice?", "post": "I found out about this about 3 weeks ago. Here's the story. There's plenty more details, but this is what I think is important.\n\nMe and my boyfriend of over a year had been fighting on a Wednesday night, it was particularly nasty due to a bout of depression on my side. But after sleeping on it we have always been good in the morning. I was under the impression that this was the case on Thursday.\n\nApparently he thought we were still fighting and on the verge of breaking up. I went home for the weekend (we're in college) and he figured we would break up as soon as I got back. So in his mind we were as good as done.\n\nI guess he went on Tinder looking for someone to talk to just so he could feel wanted and not alone. What was supposed to be a walk around the block turned into him kissing her and then making out in a bush for 10 minutes. Just kissing, I know, but **** it still hurts.\n\nHe says it was awful and he regretted it as soon as it was over. And he's had 2 months to think about it and try to make up for it without me even knowing about it. He's explained why and told me everything I wanted to know. I only found out because I saw messages between them on Facebook.\n\nBefore this happened, we were talking about getting engaged, and it's come up again since I found out because we both still want to be together, I'm just having a really hard time moving past what happened and learning to trust him again.\n\nI never expected this from him, it was the one thing he swore would never happen and I trusted him 100%. Now he says it will absolutely never happen again, but every time I think about what happened I feel sick. What can I do to feel better, or should I even be trying to make things with him work?", "summary": "My boyfriend of over a year cheated on me a couple months ago and I just found out and am struggling to move forward."} {"id": "t3_uwnpe", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "What are some deal breakers that you have? Are they set in stone or do you have exceptions?", "post": "I'm a little jaded from my last relationship (me - f25, him m26)...so I can't tell if I'm hesitant on a new relationship because I'm jaded or because of \"deal breakers\" - I dated the last guy for over a year, and things ended when he said he didn't really love me anymore, so I said there was no point continuing the relationship. We've been broken up for almost 3 months now, so I've had time to get over it.\n\nAnyway, this new guy I'm seeing is a musician (deal breaker for me, as I've dated a few musicians, and my latest ex is a musician [lots of touring, shows, and generally self-absorbed])...I get along great with this guy, and he has a job, and music is more of a hobby, so I let it slide. However, the more we talk, the more it seems like he wants to pursue music. \n\nSecondly, I'm going to school, and plan on being able to provide for myself and my possible future children, but it would be nice if the person I'm with could help provide as well if necessary, and this guy I'm with dropped out of school after two years...he's contemplating going back, but again, it's unsure.\n\nThirdly, and this is completely superficial of me and is by no means a deal breaker, but for some reason it's bugging me (I think I'm just looking for reasons to not be with him)....but he wrote me, not really a love note, but a mushy note nonetheless, and he wrote \"your\" instead of \"you're\"....\n\nI really like this guy (m25, btw) and we get along really well. I'm letting things slide because I think I'm just jaded after my last relationship, but I'm taking things slowly just to make sure.", "summary": "New guy I'm dating has a few \"deal breaker\" qualities; letting them slide because I'm probably jaded after last relationship. What are your deal breakers?"} {"id": "t3_2sjxqz", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by answering the phone in my fake Punjabi accent.", "post": "I work customer service for an online retailer. All day people call me and want either a tracking number or want to complain about their order being late. So in my desperate attempt to create some sort of entertainment for myself at this abysmal job I may have just put my position here in jeopardy. \nThe company is small. Very small. It is me and the owner. He often leaves for hours a day and thats when the time wasting begins (like right now Im at work). Sometimes I answer the phone with my fake Punjabi accent. NOTE: I am a young white male living in the US, but in this voice I sound like Apu from the Simpson's. It sounds awful but people (here in the US) hear an Indian accent on a customer service line and hang up the phone. This works to my advantage sometimes and keeps me from getting too busy on the phone lines.\nI get a call and I take his whole order but copy down some part of the address wrong. Boss is processing order and calls him back and the customer tells him how glad he is to hear an American accent over the phone. He tells him about the Indian guy (me) and then my boss gets the red ass. He told me how poor of a job I have been doing and can never mess around with customers on the phone again, and blah blah blah. \nI actually wouldn't even mind getting fired, I just don't have the stones to quit. So I might do it again.", "summary": "answered the phone in fake indian accent. Customer talked to boss. I am only employee at company. Boss is pissed cause I like to have fun with customers."} {"id": "t3_514czf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24 F] found out my boyfriend [24 M] of a year, was also in another relationship", "post": "Throwaway for the same reasons as everyone else. \n\nI'll keep this fairly short as I can. I found out yesterday that my boyfriend (LDR) of a year has been in a relationship with another girl for the past 6 months. I have been uncomfortable about one of his friends for many months now and things never seemed to change or get better despite him always telling me he loved me and he was all mine. Low and behold she actually messaged me asking me who I was and what was going on between me and ***her*** boyfriend. \n\nWe exchanged a few messages, she told me he was currently at hers and that he had already cheated on her once before with someone else. Not long after I receive a message from him saying he was truly sorry and has been with her for a while (even though he always promised me nothing was going on) and didn't know how to break up with me and that they were talking about everything. I replied saying we should talk. He said he'd call me when he returned home but as of yet, haven't heard anything.\n\nIt is definitely over. I don't care if they stay together but I've never been so betrayed. Currently I feel disgusting and like I was used and emotionally dragged along for the ride. We were together only earlier this week and he acted completely normal. I can't believe how many lies and cover ups there have been over the last 6 months. I invested so much time, energy, commitment and love into this relationship and it has been taken and completely disregarded. He also owes me money.\n\nI guess my questions are; does anyone have any advice for how to deal with all the feelings I have and learn to trust people again and how should I go about getting my money returned to me?", "summary": "My boyfriend of a year was in another relationship for the past 6 months. Everything he has said to me has been a lie. How do I deal with feeling so betrayed and get the money he owes me back?"} {"id": "t3_4iddpw", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Overly excited dog when outside, or around people/dogs", "post": "Hi guys!\n\nMe and my girlfriend have a 1 year old female Cairn terrier. She knows basic obedience commands (sit, stay, come, heel, etc.) and does these commands pretty well when we are inside our apartment.\n\nThe problem comes when we take her outside to go to the bathroom or to take a walk. There are plenty of people / animals around our apartment and she gets crazy excited when she sees anyone. If there is no one outside she does decently well, but still isn't very responsive to our commands. \n\nWe've tried taking her favorite toys and her favorite treats, but she still is not interested in them. The only way we can get her to get a little bit of focus on us is to completely leave the situation with her.", "summary": "We really love our dog and want to take her on nice walks and meet other dogs but she just gets way too excited to the point of not responding to our commands."} {"id": "t3_4l2wls", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I feel guilty about what I masturbated over when I was 12", "post": "f/18\n\nThe fact that this happened is constantly playing on my conscience, even though this happened when I was like 12. It's the kind of thing I would never admit to anyone irl because it's so messed up and I hate that it happened. I've had some pretty deep-rooted fantasies and fetishes, and I knew I was into the whole bondage and domination thing when I was like 10 and realised the idea of being tied up really excited me, so I'd say I was sexually aware of what arouses me from relatively early on.\n\nWhen I was like 12, I masturbated to a video of a goldfish being attacked by piranhas. Just now I watched one such video back and it was horrific and I hate myself for the fact I did that. I think it was the idea of being trapped and not having an escape from pain, but in hindsight it seems like the most twisted thing to derive sexual arousal from.\n\nHonestly, I'm not really sure where to go from this. I felt like I needed to admit this somewhere. I've been looking through other reddit posts along the lines of \"what's the worst thing you've masturbated to\" to ease conscience - there were the usual answers like relatives' underwear and female game characters but there were no answers that made me feel better about what I did.\n\nIf anyone has any advice or anything that could possibly make me feel like less of an awful human being, please do let me know. I really felt like I needed to tell somebody this but obviously it's not the sort of thing to divulge irl.", "summary": "masturbated to a video of a goldfish being eaten by piranhas when I was 12, the guilt is wreaking havoc on my conscience, any thoughts/advice welcome"} {"id": "t3_dpwky", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, did my family just get scammed? Mystery charge on my partents phone bill from Pathway Profits Inc.", "post": "My mom just called me saying her AT&T bill had a charge of 14.95 from Pathway Profits Inc 4 ED E-commerce on 9/25/2010. She called up the customer support number provided (866-641-7680) and after arguing for half an hour that she didn't sign up for their service, they said they'll send her a refund check, but not charge back the account. The odd thing is they said my email account was used when the charge was made, but I see nothing from that company in my inbox suggesting a confirmation.\n\nI googled the name, but came up with nothing. Not until I searched by their support number (866-641-7680) did I get relevant links. First hit was to the [Better Business Bureau] followed by a link to their site [pathwayprofits] The BBB gave them a rating of C for 6 complaints filed against the business since being incorporated in September 2008 in Tampa, Florida. \n\nI went to the pathwayprofits site and was a bit confused as to what they were selling. There's just a brief description that they sell internet business tools at a \"ridiculously low price of $19.99/month!\" and no credit card needed, instead they charge your phone bill. Below that there's a basic signup form that requires name, address, email, and phone number. Seems all that they verify before charing your phone is your birth date. \n\nI'm not sure if they actually verify anything with AT&T to make sure the charge is allowed, but my birth date is available to my friends on facebook. I don't think they use that for verification though since nothing on my parents AT&T account would have me or my information associated with it. \n\nI didn't get any relevant hits when searching for pathwayprofits+scam, so I'm not sure if it is a scam, or just a ridiculous business that allows anyone to enter a phone number and have it charged. Another odd thing is that the amount billed did not match their stated monthly charge nor any of the values set in their online resources page. \n\nSo reddit, is this a scam and should my parents (and me) be worried?", "summary": "Parents phone bill charged 14.95 for Pathway Profits Inc 4 ED E-commerce without anyone signing up for whatever services they offer."} {"id": "t3_3xpp9m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "When, exactly, should I (35/f) tell my brother (40/m) he needs to get his shit together?", "post": "My older brother and I are now pretty close. We didn't used to be, but he moved away (to BigCity, about a 3 hour flight away from our hometown, where I still live) and that absence has made the heart grow fonder. He's overall a good guy, but has trouble finishing stuff he starts. These past few years, he was completing his PhD and is supposed to be wrapping that up this semester. \n\nHe's been dating this girl for about 2 or 3 years, who is also, coincidentally from our hometown. Recently, his GF got a transfer for work back to hometown, and Brother is supposedly moving down with her. I say supposedly because, even though brother has been crashing on my couch for two weeks, he hasn't even put an application in on any apartments with GF, hasn't applied to any jobs, hasn't taken steps to complete PhD requirements or move his stuff from BigCity. \n\nNow GF is upset that Brother has made such little progress and is threatening to break up with Brother. I both feel bad for him and am super annoyed. Basically, he sleeps on my couch, borrows my car all day when I'm at work, and goes over to family's house to help them out with childcare and housework, and hang out with Aunts/Uncles he hasn't seen in a few years. I am annoyed he has prioritized doing this over 1. getting all the details of completing his PhD worked out 2. finding a job in this city -- he has no money or savings 3. finding an apartment or housing arrangement. \n\nI'm debating whether I should ask \"what is your exit strategy?\" now or just wait until after the holidays? My concern is that I think GF is seriously going to break up with him if he doesn't step on it. She's feeling like he is delaying the search because he doesn't take their relationship seriously.", "summary": "My older brother is indefinitely crashing with me while he \"looks\" for a job and apartment, should I light a fire under his ass now or wait until after Xmas??"} {"id": "t3_16e9z4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [F, 24] isn't sure if she has time for me anymore [M, 24]", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for about four months, and we got serious very quick. We said \"I love you\" after a month and attested to each other that we had never felt so in love with any person. We talked about marriage, but it wasn't weird because we both really BELIEVED it would happen. I meant it when I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. \n\nShe told me she wasn't needy, but then became, well ... needy. I run a radio station, so I have a very busy job, and when I wouldn't respond to her texts after a while, she would get upset and feel like I didn't care about her as much. She has a significant social media following and felt like I was \"using her\" for her industry connections (she's a producer for a TV network). This went on for a month, and I honestly tried to pay more attention to her - it's admittedly a problem I have when I'm in a relationship with someone. I get comfortable and don't feel I have to try as hard to keep up the romance and conversation. \n\nAfter too long, she made a concious decision, I guess to get back at me, that SHE would focus on her work instead of me. She made me her no. 2 priority, and now she works 12-14 days. We already live an hour apart, so making time to see each other has been nearly impossible. And, when we ARE together, all she talks about is how she should be at work and how much stuff she has to do. \n\nShe has admitted to me that her career is the most important thing to her. To me, she is the most important thing. I want to be with her, and I want us to strike a balance between work and our relationship, but she is getting hopeless about it. She doesn't think we can get back to where we once were. \n\nWe're having a conversation about it tonight, and I'm worried she'll break up with me because she will resent me forever if \"ruin her career aspirations\" or whatever. I just want her to WANT to make time for me. Any advice?", "summary": "Girlfriend and I got serious very quick and both work a lot. Struggling to make time for each other and pursue careers, verging on breaking up a very loving relationship. "} {"id": "t3_1u7u0o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [17M] having issues with my ex [18F] changing her mind", "post": "Me and this girl were best friends for probably a year. I had always had a little crush on her but nothing serious at all. Eventually, things happened and we both started to want more. However, before anything serious happened, she ended it with the stay friends thing. Then she wanted to try it again. Long story short, she did the same thing again after she was actually my girlfriend for a while. I gave her another chance too and the same thing happened again. She's an important person in my life that i dont want to lose but i dont know what else to do besides ignore her. She's also in 4 of my classes too so thats hard.", "summary": "I really like this girl a lot, but she keeps going back and forth between friends and dating. What do i do?"} {"id": "t3_35jcsi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "It's Mother's Day, and the emotions have finally hit me (24F) because the mother's I could celebrate have already passed on", "post": "This is more of a venting of sad emotions b/c I have another 2 1/2 at work, than looking for advice. Consolation, maybe. Also, this is a major struggle for me to write now.\n\nI've spent a fair portion of my day checking Facebook on and off, which is naturally covered in Happy Mother's Day things (I even posted one of my own in memory). I also went out to brunch with my boyfriend and saw plenty of happy families enjoying todays specials at XYZ restaurant, as well as at work. But it's finally hit me, and I can't take too much more of it, because I don't have a mother to call up and praise or thank in a way that I know would be understood. (I'm also 5hrs away from where I grew up/where she's buried so leaving flowers on her headstone isn't really an option.)\n \nMy mom died 2 weeks after my 20th birthday. It will have been 4yrs ago in a couple of days, and my grandmother only 16 months and 3 days after her. I was close to them both and I miss them so much every day. I wish I could call them, catch them up on my life, introduce them to my boyfriend, get their opinion on the state of my career just to hear their support, cry to them about stupid work issues, anything and everything. \n\nFewer things make me angrier than when I hear someone bad mouthing their mom (when its not an abusive relationship, mind you) because somethings not going their way, or Mom's not reacting to something in the way they were expecting and are losing their cool. I'm angry at them because I'm jealous of what they still have that I lost- each other's company- and I so desperately wish I could have just one more conversation with her, that their snipping is showing how much they undervalue just that much.", "summary": "Call your mom right now and tell her how much you love her, because not all of us can and it makes getting through Mother's Day that much harder."} {"id": "t3_3zd44c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [20] just divulged something to me [19] that happened this NYE.", "post": "Hey all. So as a bit of a background, my SO and I have been together for a year. She went early December overseas to visit with her family over the holiday. About a week after she got there, she told me she was throwing a party at her house with a dozen or so of her friends for new years eve. Cool, everyone parties and likes to have fun on nye. Well one of her close friends who I've met brought some guy with them to this party. Everyone got drunk, and she called me just before the clock struck 12 so I could be \"with\" her during then. For the next few days, she's acted really distant and had been avoiding skyping and all around sounded very cryptic. \n\nFast forward to today, after confronting her on her behavior the last few days, she confessed that she cheated on me with the guy I mentioned previously while being piss drunk. Obviously I'm devastated. According to her, the extent of the cheating only went to kissing and him touching her breasts. I don't know if I should believe that or not though. She told me that she spend the rest of the night crying and was really upset because of what she did. So now she's begging for my forgiveness and she's pleading for me to trust her again. She spend the better half of the night balling and trying to make it up to me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to. I love this girl so much, and I'm completely devastated. I'm just at a loss here. I want to salvage it, but I'm afraid of being hurt again. Help pls. Thank you", "summary": "GF got drunk at NYE party, some guy felt her up, is now begging for my forgiveness. Please read post."} {"id": "t3_3eorjx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 M] have been interested in this girl [18 F] on my work since last year and we talk a lot but I am not sure if she is interested.", "post": "So it all started last summer when we met at work and she was this girl I did not notice to much since she is not that kind of person who you just notice at first.\n\nAnyways we talk sporadically during work and under the summer through facebook sometimes but I never got the vibe she was super interested since I had to start all conversations so I kinda dropped it. \n\nNow during spring we started talking, **a lot**. We added each other on snapchat and we basically write everyday through snap or chat and I am definetly interested. I even got the balls to just ask her if she wanted to go eat and catch a movie or something and she said yes!\n\nWe are gonna se each other next week but I am that kind of person who still don't feel good about it. Never been in a realtionship before and I can't understand signs from girls, if I ever get them and I am not sure if she likes me back or not. I am not even sure how to handle this \"dating\" thing we might get going and what to do.\n\nI am probably overthinking this and it might be obvious but I just need some output by others so what do you think? If you want more details I can add no problem.", "summary": "A girl from work I like but not sure if she likes me back. Agreed to a date after I asked her. Thoughts?"} {"id": "t3_3mc3lb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30/M] with my roommate [23/F], slept together last night, now I'm not sure what to do.", "post": "Throwaway account because reasons. \n\nOne year ago I moved to a new city for a new job, and because I didn't know anyone here, I had to find a roommate on Craigslist. The best option (she had a place close to my new job) was \"Kate.\" I had a female roommate in the last town I lived in, and it was fine, so I didn't think anything of it.\n\nThinks have been cool. We hang out sometimes, but also both come and go freely. She keeps things neat and is nice. She's also very attractive. Personality-wise, she's not really my type, so it was never an issue.\n\nUntil last night. She's been dating a guy, and found out last night he'd been stepping out on her, and she came home pretty devastated. I'm not on today, so I was home drinking and playing video games. She got home, I was pretty drunk, she was really upset, and one thing led to another, we ended up in bed together. It was honestly a lot of fun, but I don't want to date her and I don't want to make things weird. This morning, when she woke up, she said \"Thanks, I needed that\" and kissed me before heading back to her room. She's asleep now, and going to work this afternoon.\n\nFirst question: is this going to result in weirdness between us? I'm not a player or anything, but I bring girls back to the apartment on occasion. It's never bothered Kate before, but I don't know if that's going to be a problem now.\n\nSecond question: We're both single now. Or I think she is, but I haven't confirmed that. Like I said, this was fun. I would be interested in a RWB situation, but is that something I can possibly broach without seeming like a jerk?", "summary": "Slept with my roommate last night, don't want to pursue anything serious, but interested in hooking up again."} {"id": "t3_1w0fcc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22M] Asking a classmate out too soon?", "post": "Alright, so I'll make this as brief as I can. Recently (Christmas) went through a nasty breakup, where my ex flipped a switch from sweet to insane one drunken night 6 months into our relationship. Won't go into crazy detail, but it involved a lot of yelling (from her) and throwing shit into the street (from her).\n\nAs of late, I've been in a sort of distraction phase. The semester just started and I'm taking 7 classes. I'm also working two part-time jobs, hitting the gym pretty hard, and attending 3 gym classes that add up to 8 hours a week alone. I've done well at staying positive; perhaps even better than when I was dating this girl.\n\nIn any case, I've gone from plenty of free time to almost none. Inevitably, this leads to (what I feel is) no time for any sort of intimate interest or fling. However, a girl in one of my classes has, at the very least, sparked my curiosity. I have only interacted with her twice; we were grouped together in our recitation, but from that, I've seen that she's cute, easy to talk to, nice laugh/smile, blah blah. I'm interested.\n\nI don't know how to approach it. I don't know *if* I should approach it. Interest that isn't returned leads to awkward eye contact for the rest of the semester (in a class around 20 people). Plus, I'm still battling the post-breakup slump AND have around 10 hours of free time a week, most of which is dedicated to studying.\n\nWas just looking for a couple thoughts on how/if to proceed. Thanks for reading!", "summary": "Had a nasty breakup less than a month ago. I'm successfully fighting the post-breakup slump, but not sure if I'm ready, have the time, or have the confidence to ask out a cute girl in my class."} {"id": "t3_17ta52", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the biggest cringe that has ever happened to you?", "post": "When you think back, what memory of you brings the biggest cringe to mind? I know friends and family can see this, but fuck throwaways. This was back in my teenage years(like 7 years ago but I don't remember.) when I first discovered masturbation. It was the weekend and I was home alone. When ever I need to finish, I found the nearest piece of cloth and blew my load. What piece of clothing was that? Some dirty pair of shorts that needed to be washed anyway. I probably fapped 10 times in the past 4 or so hours. My mother worked with special needs kids, and one of them was having a birthday party at the mall. There was one party room place inside of an arcade that had UV lights. You probably now know where this is going. \n My ma came home to tell me to get ready to go. I agreed and threw on a new shirt and without realizing it, that pair of shorts. When we arrived I played the role and met the kid and their parents. After a short speech, we were allowed to free roam the place with around 20 bucks worth of quarters. After an hour, we went into this UV room where pizza and cake was available. Being 13 at the time and not knowing what secrets UV can show, I was in for a surprise. Being jacked up on Mountain Dew, I ran around just being hyper. The parents saw the horror. My millions if not billions of my future kids were covering my once beige shorts with whiteness. I mean it literally looked like bird shit covering a black car. It was that fucking obvious. \n My mom got the word about my jizzed shorts and was embarrassed. She took me home in a hurry and didn't say a word. I only found out about it recently this Christmas. When ma thought it would be frickin' hilarious to share it my entire family. Needless to say, a good laugh and a cherry faced me sank low in my seat.", "summary": "13 year old me wore jizzed stain shorts to a party lighted by UV lights. People knew and told my mother. 7 years later it was realized at a Christmas party to ALL of my family members."} {"id": "t3_1t2331", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22F] boyfriend [24M] of ~2 years has a HORRIBLE temper. Help", "post": "Throwaway for obvious reasons. He is currently living at home with his parents and little brothers to save up money for a down payment on a house (the area he lives in is extremely expensive). I absolutely love his family but his parents still treat him like a child. This causes him to have an extremely bad temper towards them and it has gotten to the point where seemingly small things his parents say to him make him literally throw an adult temper tantrum. Things were never like this between his parents and him when he was in college approx 2 hours away, but his behavior around them and mostly their behavior towards him makes me so uncomfortable but I have no idea how to approach it or give him advice other than to move out, which he doesn't want to do at this point. \n\nJust for clarification, he's never blown up at me or anyone else (that I know of) other than his mom and dad, who are both in their late 50s.", "summary": "My boyfriends parents treat him like a child which causes him to act out. It's embarrassing and I don't know what to say to make him calm down because his parents are acting so absurd."} {"id": "t3_3or6p7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by telling someone their shoes were untied.", "post": "So this was a few years ago, but whatever. So I was a freshman in high school and lunch was about to end so I started walking to my next class with a group friends. I can't remember how, but we got onto the topic of me being a little bitch who wouldn't follow through on dares. Well I wanted to prove them wrong, so they gave me the dare of telling some random person their shoes were untied. I heard someone walking next to me so without looking I turned and blurted out \"Hey your shoes are untied!\". I complete the turn around, I see a girl, wearing sandals with one of the special Ed teachers. The girl looks down, looks at me, starts crying and runs away. Then I just stood there feeling like the biggest dickbag on the planet while my friends laughed their asses off.", "summary": "Was dared to tell someone their shoes were untied. Did it, turns out they were mentally retarded and wearing sandals."} {"id": "t3_ivd5g", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "What would you do in my situation? (Interracial feelings with another)", "post": "A few months ago my group of friends and I started partying with this girl (She's white and 19, I'm a black male and 19) my friend had invited with us one weekend. She had fun with us and her and I started talking. I started to develop feelings for her and asked her to be my date to my track championship after party. She agreed, we went, and we had a great time and all (this is taking place at college around late April). I didn't have the chance to tell her how I felt before school ended, on top of us ending on an unrelated bad note, so I figured any shot I had was over. \n\nHowever we texted throughout the summer, on a nightly basis even! Hope wasn't lost! But I was lacking in the confidence department when it came to women so I still had no idea if I had a shot. Eventually she invited us down to her place for a weekend at the beach (VA Beach, I live right below DC). We went and had a hell of a good time, and after a weekend of finding the courage, I decided to make my move...\n\nThe next morning when our friend(same one who introduced us) had gone to the bathroom, we hugged innocently enough, and I went in to kiss her. She pulls away telling me that we can't. Turns out she felt the same way I did, we both really liked each other!\n\nHowever it wasn't that simple. She said we couldn't date, her father wouldn't let her date outside her race. I said I was ok with that, just to know that she liked me was good enough (and it was). We shared a kiss anyway, a few steamier ones in honesty. And she agreed to let me take her out once we got back to school, to pay her back for the weekend.\n\nSo we've got a date set up even though we shouldn't, we have feelings for each other that we can't act on (officially) and we're both spending 8 months out of the year away from home and her father, do you think we should still try to pursue a relationship? What would you do, or has this ever happened to you and what did you do about it?", "summary": "Girl and I aren't allowed to be together because of race and we still both really want to date, what should we do/ what would you do?"} {"id": "t3_26euiv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my boyfriend [19M] of 4+ years, just broke up. I moved to the middle of nowhere to live with him, and have no way to leave. What can I do?", "post": "Long story short, it was long distance and I gave up my family, friends, and everything else to come be with him. I've lived with him for two years, minus 4-5 months that I went back home last year. He just broke up with me, but I literally have no friends here, and not even another place to sleep in the house, other than right here next to him. Does anyone have any advice for where the hell to go from here? I'm at a complete loss. I left on such a bad foot with my parents and family that even if I could find the money, I don't know if they'd take me back.", "summary": "Boyfriend dumped me, but I live with him and have no resources to move out or even stay the night elsewhere."} {"id": "t3_2khjd0", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "[NSV] Hubby made me do his diet and I got tired of it.", "post": "For 3 months I have been on a diet which is really quite strict, I basically start the day with some chicken breast and water and then an hour later I have rice cakes sometimes with low fat cheese. This diet was suggested to me by my husband who has lost a lot of weight from it and I guess it made sense to do it too.\n\nI aim for 1000-1500 calories a day which has helped me shed a lot of weight so far, of course along with weight training and cardio. \n\nThe only thing is that long term I couldn't see myself doing that diet. Although after 3 months I was happy with the results but I was really scared to change the diet in case I went wrong and all of my progress was reversed, especially with my 6month weigh in coming up. It kind of made me dread getting up in the morning because it was a drag eating steamed chicken breast every day. \n\nThis might sound weird but after I saw one of those early morning infomercials for those blenders that \"transform your life\" I was inspired to try out a blender recipe. So I got on youtube and started looking for recipes and found a few vids that I have tried and are really nice. Been using them for 2 weeks now and they havent made me put on any unwanted weight.\n\nSO I felt that I want to share my findings with you guys, maybe some will find them useful in some way if you are maybe bored with your weight loss diet as I was.\n\nThis one is the 1st video I tried:\n\n \n\nI make this one in the morning basically drink half for breakfast and the other half before bed. It tastes really nice. \n\nThis is the second one I tried, not as tasty but it did the job", "summary": "Hubbie's diet got me feelin down, but I tried a couple of recipe videos and I'm glad I did."} {"id": "t3_2w9sxh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Advice] Should I (M/16) try to talk to this girl (17) I've known for a few months and figure out where we stand?", "post": "So from maybe the beginning of October to like the week before thanksgiving, I was talking to this girl, a (kinda shy) international student from France who's in America for a year. She told my sister I was cute and gave me her number before I even asked for it and we had some good convos over text, although she would occasionally not respond to me. At one point she says the likes that I text her but she's not good at answering. We share a class too, and we'd talk then a decent amount, though it was usually me initiating the conversation. Anyway, around thanksgiving we started talking less in class and I sent her two texts in the span of a week and she didn't respond to either. I figured she wasn't really interested, so I stopped making any effort to talk to her and we stopped talking.\n\nAround Valentines day at our school, you can buy these little bags of candy and attach a note and student council will deliver them. I had an extra so I decided to send one to her just to see what would happen. It didn't say anything lovey, just like \"hey I know we haven't talked in forever, but I had this and I figured I'd send it to you.\" The day it gets delivered, a thursday before a 4-day weekend, she comes up to me, hugs me, thanks me, and says she'll text me. On Saturday, I'm at a basketball game (she's on the team) and I go up to her after the game, say good job, and she hugs me again. Not too long after that, I texted her. Now it's Tuesday and she hasn't responded, though this morning I passed her in the hall and she happily said hi to me even though I kinda tried to not make eye contact.\n\nSo here's my question (and yeah ik this turned out to not be short at all):\n\n*Should I go up to her at school and ask her kind of where we stand, or would that be douchey/make me look crazy?*\n\nI can handle rejection, but not knowing is really bothering me.", "summary": "Girl hugs me, me is friendly at school, tells me she'll text me, but doesn't answer when I text her. Do I talk to her to figure out where we stand?"} {"id": "t3_11i8du", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Flatlined libido? Please say I'm not the only one & should I be worried? [Possibly NSFW]", "post": "Hi loseit,\n\nI'm sorry if this isn't necessarily relevant to weight loss, but it's the only correlating change in my life. If I'm doing wrong by posting here, please feel free to scorn me.\n\nI've noticed over the past six months, whilst losing weight, that my libido has completely flatlined. I've searched everywhere for information on it or people with similar experiences only to find that weight loss has had the complete opposite effect on the majority of other people, with only breadcrumbs on information on a decreased libido.\n\nWeight loss is the only thing I can think of that could be causing this. The relationship with my boyfriend is better than ever and I still find him thoroughly attractive, I just can't find sex engaging. And it's not just the physical side, the idea is doing nothing for me either; it's like I may as well be a eunuch. The first month of this happening I thought it might just be an off month for me; but six months down the line and it's beginning to worry me considerably. Should I consider seeing my GP about it?\n\nHave any of you guys had a similar experience, or have any suggestions as to what may be causing it?", "summary": "flatlined libido since losing weight, weight loss only correlating change, could it be causing it & should I seek medical advice?"} {"id": "t3_1gx4lm", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17/f] Is this guy (18/m) just being polite or does he like me a little bit?", "post": "So we've known about each other for a long time (I'm sort of friends with his sister), but we've never talked. But yesterday I suddenly mustered up the courage to start a conversation with him and it went well! He seemed genuinely happy and smiled and laughed and joked and complimented me. But then there were some uncomfortable pockets of time when we would be get quiet and not know what to say (I'm REALLY shy and he's pretty reserved and quiet). I've never actually seen him talk to a girl and as far as I know, he doesn't have a gf right now. I said that we should hang out sometime and he gave me his number. \nThe thing is, my friends have been saying how he's actually looked at me a few times, but I've only ever caught his glance like once. And the thing that makes it the most difficult is that after we talked yesterday, he would kind of ignore me if I walked by again. Like he would consciously look the other way if I walked by him. He's a really nice guy, I assumed he would at least acknowledge me after we talked for a good bit!! \nBut after I few hours, I remembered that I didn't actually give him my number, so I texted him it and said \"let's hang the next time you're in town\" and he replied promptly \"hey yea! i'll for sure hit you up when i'm in town next time\" \nIf any of you can interpret this, I will be so grateful. Honestly. I need to know because I don't want to have an misconceptions.", "summary": "Quiet guy opens up when I initiate conversation, but otherwise doesn't seem interested at all. Mixed signals, help me read them."} {"id": "t3_2vnoj2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20/m] girlfriend [19/f] has become passive-aggressive towards me due to my busy schedule. Even though she said early she was fine with it.", "post": "So using at throwaway, and I'll try to make this quick. \n\nSome backstory: I have been dating my girlfriend for around 7 months, in that time I have been focusing mostly on my schoolwork and didn't have a job. She did, and her schedule would sometimes run into our plans, oh well, it happens. We adapt.\n\nI just got a job and have to work 5 days a week, from 7:30- 11. I didn't choose this schedule, its the only time that fits with my classes.\n\nBecause of my new schedule (combined with my school/work and hers), we can only talk one hour each night after work.\n\nIt's only been a few days and she is getting angry at me, even though she told me \"we would get through it and be fine\" after I asked her.\n\nHow do I proceed?", "summary": "New schedule has cut down communication drastically, gf is angry at something out of my control. I don't know how to proceed."} {"id": "t3_4h936i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My ex [19F] randomly asks me if I [22M] want to get with one of her friends. Advice?", "post": "So I briefly dated a girl, and she broke things off with me a month ago. Basically, she was super into me and wanted a serious relationship with me, but felt like I was too distant, didn't care about her, and took her for granted. Anyways, today we were texting, and I told her that I really did like her and would be open to giving it another shot. She says that she now has a new boyfriend that she started seeing after breaking things off with me. So I tell her that it was nice knowing her, best of luck with everything, etc. \n\nA couple hours later, she texts me, \"Hey want to get with my friend\" with some pictures of her friend. Tells me that it was her idea, not her friend's. I honestly don't know what to think of this situation. Should I go for it? Is this girl fucking with me? Opinions would be great.", "summary": "Girl broke things off with me a month ago, gets new boyfriend, and randomly asks if I want to fuck her friend"} {"id": "t3_37yyzi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 M] was drunk texted by my ex [18 F] (3 months since breakup), saying she wants to talk to me. Now I think I might be blocked.", "post": "Backstory: Me and my ex were good friends for over two years before we started dating. We dated for around 1\u00bd months before we decided to go steady. That, however, lasted only 5 days, as she dumped me for someone else - via text.\n\nOver three months passed without much comunication (we texted for like, twice). However, **we both graduated this saturday**. We saw eachother in the graduation ceremony, but didn't say anything.\n\nIn the evening, I went partying with my friends. I had my phone shut for a long time to conserve battery, but I turned the phone on at midnight. Surprisingly, **my ex had texted** (via Whatsapp) **me, wanting to know where I was**. The club was packed, so she couldn't come there.\n\nWe texted for some time. I asked why she texted me, but she avoided the questions and threw some disoriented comments, but in the end she said **she wants to talk to me live, because she feels bad conscience**. I didn't want to leave the club, so **we agreed to talk tomorrow**.\n\nI expected her to text me early today, but she hadn't done that. I remember rereading our text around 5 hours ago, and then everything seemed normal. However, I decided to text her first 30 minutes ago, but the text didn't go through. I also recognized that I couldn't see her \"last seen\" timestamp anymore either. **I think she blocked me!** But why?\n\nI'm not sure what I should do next. It may be worth mentioning that my ex had a habit of just ignoring me when we were having troubles when we were together. I'm not even sure whether or not I'd want to restart a relationship with her. I thought I was over her before she texted me.", "summary": "My ex texted me, saying she wants to see me. Now she seems to be ignoring me, and I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_22xtl1", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My(20/m) GF(19/f) is starting to get really jealous of other friends that I hang out with.", "post": "So, there is a little background behind this one. I am a guy who hasn't had a girlfriend in about 3 years and have had multiple one night stands with people and it's taken it's toll on me mentally. So I decided to settle down and actually talk to one of my dear friends. We talked for about a month and I wanted to take it slow and then work my way up. I slept with another one of my friends while we were talking. (we made it clear that we weren't exclusive) and then later was told by said friend about the encounter and was accused of cheating. We worked our way from that, but it's still being brought up and I'm constantly reminded of such. \n\n Another such incident was when we declared exclusivity and we went to a fraternity party that my fraternity was hosting. I was drunk, but could still function, and one of the party goers started dancing on me and I, in my stupor, danced with her. She got insanely jealous that she wouldn't talk to me for a day or so and then we had great makeup sex. \n\nMost recently we were talking about grease, and I set her up with a Reddit account and signed her up with a subreddit list that would help her with her crafts and inspire her with ideas, which she was thrilled with. Then the next moment when she did something cute I giggled a bit. She immediately went defensive and said that she had self-esteem problems and play-smacked me... I think it was more to get my attention as I was brushing it off. She was serious and I was dumbfounded. \n\nI really like this girl, but some of the problems that we have, like jealousy, over exaggeration, and the drama is starting to get to me. What do you guys think I should do?", "summary": "My gf is a wonderful person, but has flaws that I don't know that I can deal with or am ready to deal with."} {"id": "t3_15kcm9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why shouldn't (or should) I try cigarettes?", "post": "Okay so here's the deal. I have always been fascinated by smokers. Cigarette smoke reminds me of happy childhood memories, like amusement parks and the beach. Whenever I walk by a smoker, I always linger to inhale the second hand smoke. \n\nI've struggled with anxiety, depression, and my weight and the research I've found says that nicotine can help with all of that. \n\nIn the past, I've done quite a bit of partying (stupid high school teenager stuff) but never cigarettes. I've always loved how that look and smell. I am now a freshman in college, and figured... why not?", "summary": "I've done research on my own, but would appreciate some real life input on why or why not someone should smoke cigarettes."} {"id": "t3_36ubqx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my GF [19 F] broke up after almost 3 years, hard time staying friends", "post": "We broke up for college last year and I know I had a rough time, going from constantly seeing a best friend to not even communicating. It was an understandably mutual decision as we were both going forward in life, but it still hurt a lot.\n\nAnyways after a few months of college, I thought I was done with her. Then she began drunk texting me quite often. I was civil at first then ignored them as I realized it was just hurting me and going nowhere. So I got over her again.\n\nNow that we're back for summer, she's been wanting to hang out with mutual friends as we were all close. I thought I was at peace and had gotten over her but just seeing her again ruined my day. I felt (and still feel) like I'm going through the breakup all over again. \n\nAvoiding her is out of the question since my best friends are close friends of hers as well. We were all one big happy family and now there's this awkward rift between my ex and I that is stemming from my confused feelings and was damn near palpable to my friends when we all got together today.\n\nAlso, I would never want to leave my friends, especially because of her.", "summary": "Ex and I broke up. Due to joint custody of the friends, we'll see each other more than I can handle. Feels like my heart is breaking all over again. "} {"id": "t3_3gkeim", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my bf [24M] of 7 years, caught him in an elaborate lie", "post": "A couple of months ago I found out that he lied to me. I didn't see it coming, because there was almost no indication. \n\nHe told me that he had been employed, and would be working part time every Tuesday and Thursday while he was in school. If he stayed at my place on Monday or Wednesday night he would either get dressed the next mornin or tell me that he was going to get dressed at work. This went on for a couple of months (maybe February to April). \n\nAt one point I asked him something about his coworkers and the clients at his job. I thought it was weird, because he used to always tell about people from his previous job. Whatever the story, it was pretty weak. Then there was a day where I drove through the parking lot and dismissed the fact that I didn't see his car as possibly being that it was a weird shaped parking lot or that he was at a different location that day. I was so close to finding out the truth on my own, but was so blinded. \n\nOne day I find out a person close to me has an interview at the same place. I told him about this in person. I then went home and received a text telling me that he didn't actually work there because he had missed his first day of work for whatever reason. Literally the only reason he had told me was because he had been trapped", "summary": "Bf of 7 years lied to me about employment. Told me for months that he was going to work, went so far as to wear work clothes those mornings and tell me a story about work."} {"id": "t3_1yam1e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Bringing up the past", "post": "My (18m) girlfriend (19f) keeps bringing up the past at random moments. She deals with depression so when she feels depressed she starts to think about things and what I did always comes up. Before we started dating I said some really hurtful things that I truly regret, we were still in high school at the time. We've been friends for about 4 years and dating for 6 months\n\nSince then I have completely changed as a person and she has even said that I have and that is the reason why we dated because I apologized for everything I did just out of the blue. We then started talking became best friends and now we date. \n\nShe says really nasty and hurtful things and I've just been brushing it off and taking the abuse because once she gets everything off her chest we are fine again. But idk how long I can deal with this. I feel like if she doesn't learn to accept it and accept me as a new person then this will never work. Am I wrong in thinking this ? \n\nI don't expect her to forget about it because honestly I wouldn't be able to but is just like her to leave the past in the past so we can move on. Any help ?", "summary": "girlfriend is bringing up past wrong doings and throwing them in my face years after. Wrong doings occurred before we dated."} {"id": "t3_2gg4nw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "The relationship between me [22M] and my GF [21] is becoming boring/stale. What to do?", "post": "After reading some other threads on this subreddit I feel like our problem isn't so serious, but I would love some tips/advice nevertheless.\n\nI've known this girl for over 6 years and has been one of my two best friends since 4 years or so. Since two months we're in a relationship. We know eachothers ins and outs, know everthing we did/do, spoken of everthing happened in our lives etc etc. The problem is, we don't have much to say to eachother anymore and running a bit out of things to do together.\n\nRecently we've watched all 4 seasons of Game of Thrones and now we're kinda figuring out what to do when we are together. A couple of days ago we agreed to go for a walk every evening. Something we both enjoy. But it doesn't fill a whole evening, let alone a whole day. Does /r/relationships have any tips/advice on how to give some new life to our relation?", "summary": "GF and me know everything of eachother. Seemingly don't have anything to say or do with eachother. Does /r/relationships have any tips/advice for us?"} {"id": "t3_1diueb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (23m) get irrationally anxious and stressed during/after arguments with my girlfriend (19f)... How can I work on this?", "post": "My (23M) girlfriend (19F) and I have been seeing each other for around 5 - 6 months, official for 3. We have arguments, just like any couple. My problem is that I get incredibly anxious and stressed after an argument and find it hard to function normally. For example, we had an argument last night, but we made up before bed and everything seemed okay. \n\nToday at work my anxiety is going crazy, I can't concentrate and I've completely lost my appetite. I have a history of anxiety issues, but it's never been this bad in past relationships. The thing is, I'm not entirely sure what it is that I'm worried about exactly. Maybe it's that if she's still mad at me and the argument starts up again, I can't be with her and talk to her in person and we'd have to talk through texts until I finish work. Also, the thought of possibly getting no response from said texts and being ignored might be part of the issue. I'm not worried about her doing anything stupid or cheating or anything.\n\nI know in my head that these feelings are irrational, and that arguments are a normal part of every healthy relationship, but I just can't shake these feelings. I know my girlfriend loves me and she's told me that she would never leave me, and I believe that. If anyone has any words of wisdom, that would be much appreciated.", "summary": "Get stupidly anxious and stressed after arguments with girlfriend, even when we've made up and everything's fine. Don't know how to control those feelings."} {"id": "t3_otu4p", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "M-19, F-18; Introduced by mutual friend, first contact on Facebook", "post": "Backstory:\nI'm 19(M), she's 18(F), different towns, have a mutual friend that did the \"hey you guys need to meet blah blah blah\". I wanted to get her number to set up coffee date, but mutual friend suggested we become friends on FB and start there.(As much as I hate doing this and have never done so before, but she's freaking hot) So I add her, she accepts; shortly after, messages are exchanged. Small talk at first, (school, classes, I'm trying to keep it generic to leave something to talk about on first date), then I ask what's she's doing this weekend(this was last week) because I'd like to get coffee and get to know her better. At the very instant I send that, she goes offline, no big deal. My FB messaging has been acting weird anyway, so the next day I send a message telling her this and give her my phone number for a more reliable method of communication. \n\nFast forward to yesterday(two days since last message with no reply), I see that she's online, it goes something like this:\n\nMe: \"Hey! Did you get my message the other day?\"\n\nHer: \"yes, but I won't get my new phone until one day this week\"\n\nMe: \"Ok, I understand\"\n\n*offline*\n\nI took this as she would call/text when she gets a new phone, hopefully she's not just blowing me off. So, I need to know how to proceed if she actually does contact me sometime this week. I'm thinking I need to slow down and chat with her a little more before asking her for coffee, what do you guys(and girls) think?", "summary": "Initial contact on Facebook sucks dick, but, it's all I have and trying to salvage it the best I can. Advice on pacing myself if she doesn't flake?"} {"id": "t3_2thu7d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My GF(F21)'s roommates (F21,F22) want me (M21) who doesn't live there to chip in on rent and utilities", "post": "*", "summary": "girlfriends roommates IMO unjustifiably want me to chip in for rent for a space I do not live in but help maintain at their request and because I like helping out my girlfriend and my's friends ."} {"id": "t3_399h1e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Help me give my friend [34F] advice on whether/how she should let her ex [33M] know that she's recently started dating her previous ex?", "post": "My friend doesn't post on reddit, so I offered to post on her behalf.\n\nShe broke up with with her ex (let's call him Bob) about four months ago, they had been dating for six months. While they were dating, she was still good friends with her previous ex (let's call him Joe) that she had dated for about three years. Bob and Joe were on friendly terms, and Joe had a new gf and all of them even went on some double dates.\n\nShe broke up with Bob about four months ago and he took it hard, and while they've remained on friendly terms, she's tried to create some distance between them. Meanwhile she's continued to spend time with Joe who has been a good friend all along, and who by this time had also become single again. However in the last couple of weeks she and Joe decided that they wanted to give things another shot and get back together.\n\nThe problem is that there's some overlapping social circles between everyone and essentially Bob, Joe and her are all going to be at an upcoming party.\n\nShe is really struggling with the question of whether and how she should let Bob know ahead of time that her and Joe have gotten back together?\n\nMy advice to her: most definitely. What do you guys think?\n\nNext, how should she break the news to Bob?\n\nMy advice to her: send him a text or a message, like a head's up kind of thing, short and sweet. In all likelihood he will reply and try to engage her, but I think she should ignore any of his attempts to do so.\n\nShe thought maybe she should have a conversation with Bob to let him know, but I think that's a bad idea because he will probably make it all drawn out (he can be a bit needy emotionally). It's probably going to be shitty news for him, but I don't think she should feel responsible for him or how he deals with his feelings. She feels bad for him, but I don't think she should make it her problem and I don't think that she owes him a crap ton of emotional support to help him through this. What do you guys think?", "summary": "Should my friend break the news to her somewhat emotionally needy ex that's she's now dating her previous ex, and if so how?"} {"id": "t3_1lna3p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Broke up with boyfriend last night.. this morning I'm second guessing my decision", "post": "I (20F) broke things off with my live-in boyfriend (20M) of over two years last night.\n\nIt had been on my mind for weeks and I decided to go through with it after talking to my parents and best friend, as well as writing it out on paper.\n\nI decided to do it for many reasons - not feeling happy, feeling held back, not feeling appreciated, & he has some personal hygiene issues, as well as problems communicating.\n\nWhen I talked to him last night I brought up everything I felt and he pretty mucb gave me the \"I am who I am and its not going to change\" (in regards to personal hygiene and me needing more help around the house - its a two way street)\n\nI decided to move out and that's what I'm supposed to be doing today, but this morning I feel terrible. I miss him and I'm second guessing my decision :( is this normal? I still love him, I know I do, I just think maybe this is for the best? I feel like I was generally happy the majority of the relationship... did I approach it wrong? Should I have just asked him again for more help around the house and to do more of my activities with me? Did we just maybe hit a rough patch and I'm dealing with it all wrong?\n\nI'm feeling like all the reasons I brought up are just excuses.. I seriously just want to cry all over again, I felt so horrible when I was telling him all this last night, I've never wanted to hurt him and it breaks my heart knowing I did... \n\nI think we agreed to try this apart thing for a couple weeks.. should I tell him if he want a to text or call me, or go for coffee or dinner I'd be open to that? Or should I just try and move on right away ?\n\nI've never broken up with anyone.. I used to think I'd be with him forever but I was starting to see maybe not.. but maybe that's just me being an irrational and crazy 20 yearold girl.. its not like he's abusive or cheats or is terrible to me.. aghhh :( :(", "summary": "broke up with live-in boyfriend of over 2 years last night.. feel terrible this morning and already second guessing my decision... I think I miss him already, & idk what to do..."} {"id": "t3_2lucbn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21/F] am very confused about my acquaintance [21/M].", "post": "I have this acquaintance I met at university. I met him maybe a year ago but we started talking a few months ago. We weren't very close but I'm really attracted to him. We recently shared a hotel room for a few days because of a university related thing and it left me very confused.\n\nSo in the beginning everything was cool I guess, no weird stuff. We shared some really nice time just laying on the grass the first day. We talked about hobbies and he seemed interested in a completely unrelated hobby I have. He is also usually not a very eye contact person, but he maintained eye contact for longer than I could.\n\nBut the first morning we were there I woke up listening to him on the phone, he got really awful news (death of someone very loved). I was still half asleep and asked if he wanted a hug, so he was like \"okay\" and I just went to his bed and laid down and hugged him (in the most non-sexual way I could due to the situation). He hugged me too and stroked my hair. After a while of me going into a light sleep and waking up, he said that maybe he should get up, so I moved back to my bed. I think he just wanted me to go back because he didn't get up then. He fell asleep after a while.\n\nTwo days later he asked me for a massage because I started poking him with my feet when he was laying in bed. We were in someone else's room but when we went back he laid in my bed and I massaged his back for like half an hour. After that shared some time in bed watching tv and some time later he went back to his bed.\n\nHe also started touching me a bit (like, my shoulder or my head or so) on the last day. He didn't seem to mind when I did the same.\n\nBut on the other hand, he also made remarks about other girls we saw in the street, which I think is usually \"I'm not interested in you\".\n\nCan any of this mean something or am I reading too much into friendly gestures?", "summary": "Acquaintance does things that make me think he might be slightly interested, then does other things that make me think he's not. How should I interpret this?"} {"id": "t3_zf9u3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "If you quit a job, is the employer required to pay you? If so, is there a time frame?", "post": "I know, I know- most people right now are trying to get a job.\n\nAnyway, I have the opposite problem. I quit my job on August 23rd and promptly walked myself down to USPS to send a (receipt requested) letter to notify them to send my last paycheck to my home address versus direct deposit.\n\nWell, it is now the day my direct deposit would have been received so I decided to check to make sure they received the letter. Turns out, they have refused it and it is in transit back to me.\n\nSo now I'm left scratching my head wondering if I'll even get paid for the few days I worked before I quit.\n\nHas anyone ever dealt with something like this? Are there any legal statutes on my side in this situation? [I'm in NY, if that helps...] Or do I just get shafted if they decide not to pay me? How long can they wait before they're required to pay me if they are required to do so? *AHH SO MANY QUESTIONS!", "summary": "Do I get screwed if my former employer doesn't want to pay me after I quit, or is there anything I can do?"} {"id": "t3_2mpqi7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [25 M] starting to fall for a coworker [24 F] though I have a girlfriend [24 F] of a few years", "post": "So I'll try to keep this short. I've been dating my girlfriend for a few years now. It's been great so far, and there's not much I can complain about. The relationship itself is strong, there's good communication so fights aren't bad, and the sex life is good. However, it's become somewhat boring in the past year or so. There's still decent conversation but there have been long car rides with few words spoken. It hasn't been awkward but sometimes I wish things could just be a little bit more engaging. \n\nCue my coworker. We've been working together for around a year or so now. I've always thought she was kind of cute but that was about it until recently. I've gotten to get to know her in the past 6 months and we have a lot of things in common. We've hung out a bit with mutual friends/coworkers and we've gotten somewhat close. We've held hands but there's been no kissing or sex, and I don't plan on there being as long as I'm with my girlfriend. This girl is fun and exciting and someone I could see myself having a great time with. \n\nSo I'm very torn. On the one hand, I have a good relationship that could honestly end in marriage and it would be nice and complacent. On the other hand, I could take a risk and see what could happen with my coworker. I would hate to hurt my girlfriend but I also don't want to live wondering what if. Should I break up with my girlfriend or end things with my coworker?", "summary": "Relationship with current girlfriend is good but has become stale, falling for new coworker that I have a lot in common with, don't know if I should stay with girlfriend or date coworker instead."} {"id": "t3_43gr66", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [21/M] can't seem to stay out of trouble.", "post": "I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3.5 years now and practically every year, we've ran into the same problem. I've always been a talkative, flirty guy and I've always gotten along well with girls, and she's caught me multiple times talking or flirting with them. One occasion was flirtatious raunchy texts to a friend, another was just finding that a girl was my #1 friend on snapchat who she had never heard of, and hanging out with a girl without telling her where I was. Despite all this I've never had any physical/sexual interaction with any of these women. \n\nI know that I'm at fault for doing this behind her back, and I partially blame it on the fact that we're both at two different schools so seeing each other is tough. I can't necessarily explain my motives in the moment, but I guess I've always seen these other girls as people who come and go, and that my future was going to be with my girlfriend. Could it be that I'm in college, which makes me more prone to do stupid things? I've always thought that once we graduated and moved in together and worked real jobs, I'd be able to put this all behind us. \n\nI'm looking for advice on how to address this problem. We are actually on a break right now because I wanted some time to really look at myself and access what I've done, and hopefully self-reflect on my mistakes. Despite what I've done I value this relationship more than anything in the world (it obv. doesn't seem like it to her), but I can't help but seek attention from other women when my girlfriend isn't around. My friends have told me that I simply take our relationship for granted, and that I don't realize how lucky I have it or how much she does for me. They've told me to write a list of things I'm thankful for my girlfriend for, and hopefully it'll open my eyes to seeing that she's better than all the other girls I talk with. I just don't know how I'm going to regain her trust back after the 3rd time.", "summary": "I'm kindof an asshole who talks to other girls behind my girlfriend's back, but I really just want her at the end of the day. How can I stop myself from getting in these situations?"} {"id": "t3_3vuata", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 5 years, we handle emotions VERY differently", "post": "She's very free, emotionally expressive. Dances. Is silly. Laughs hard. Cries hard. But can get serious and wise if she needs to.\n\nI'm very cerebral. Emotionally stunted in a way really. I'm more interested in the *deconstruction* of the thing rather than experiencing the thing. When I hear a joke I want to know what makes it funny, why it's funny, how it's funny. I'm shy. I'm worried about what people think of me.\n\nOne of the issues is when the in-laws come. They butt heads a lot, very expressively. No one is mean to each other, but everyone is angry at each other. I've never experienced this behavior, I'm not judging it. My family does the same but instead with passive aggressive jabs. Because of how I grew up I can't handle my in-laws behavior. When they're angry at each other my heart and chest literally get tense. I'm sensitive, and I want to toughen up. I myself never blow up at anyone. I have angry thoughts but I always am just very agreeable. I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong here.\n\nSo how does a person strengthen or improve their capacity to handle emotions? Is it a \"letting go\"? Is it a \"courage\" thing? Do I start picking fights with people?(jk) :P", "summary": "Girlfriend and her family emotionally powerful. I grew up not expressing emotions and tip toeing around people. Very emotionally distressing to be around them. Need help how to be stronger."} {"id": "t3_2dkdlv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (26F) might be dating a \"Good Luck Chuck\" (30M)?", "post": "If you have seen the movie Good Luck Chuck, you know what I'm talking about: any woman who sleeps with this guy Chuck would soon get married. \n\nI've been with my boyfriend \"Chuck\" for almost a year, and just recently realized that I know of 5 of his ex-girlfriends: all of them are now either married or engaged to the person they dated right after Chuck. \n\nSome of the ex-girlfriends are from around 10 years ago, some are more recent, including his most recent girlfriend (they broke up less than 2 years ago). This is too much of a coincidence. \n\nI asked about Chuck about it. He think it's because he's \"husband material\" for them, so when their relationship didn't work, they know exactly what to look for -- a guy as similar to him as possible. He even commented on the fiance of his most recent ex, saying that guy looks just like him, but less handsome. \n\nThis is really weird. On the one hand, **all I want is that my boyfriend to love me for me, not because his other options (the ex-es he clearly have a very deep connection with) are not available.** He clearly still pines for a few of them: keeps Facebook and phone connect with them; keeps a lot of souvenirs and private photos of their time together. (I didn't poke around, they sort of just lie around in his house. ) \n\nOn the other hand, it makes me want to try out the \"Good Luck Chuck\" charm: if we break up, I might meet someone whom I will marry.\n\nWhat do you think?", "summary": "Every ex-girlfriend of my boyfriend \"Chuck\" got married/ engaged to the person she dated immediately after Chuck. Shall I keep dating him?"} {"id": "t3_36s9em", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Should I feel guilty...", "post": "I've(30) been dating the same awesome girl(25) for something close to 2 years now and to be straight up, she's afraid of marriage and has made the statement that while she loves me, she's not sure if I'm \"it\" for her but doesn't want to break up because we have an awesome relationship and amazing times together. \n\nShe's thought about us married and says she can see it working but is still scared that she, like many others, will reach that middle point of life and fall out of love or want something different. She's also thinking that maybe because of her marriage fear and the fact that before meeting me she didn't even want a relationship, it may just take her longer to know that she wants to marry someone. Her other friends have all been dating less time than us and already know where they are going, like they want marriage or they are moving in with each other and I feel like we're just spinning our wheels. I do feel jealous of her friends relationships, even though I know we have a good thing. \n\nShe's also stated that she's moving in a year and we talked about me moving there after she's been there a few months but I feel like that's not really going happen. As such I think I've started to decide the relationship is already over and begun pulling back. I've even let my eye wander and I've debated if I shouldn't just start dating again if we aren't going anywhere but I feel really guilty.", "summary": "Not sure where my relationship is going after almost 2 years, feeling the urge to start moving on since girlfriend is afraid of commitment, though she did take a big step by even dating me. Feeling guilty about wanting to move on."} {"id": "t3_2fssa0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] together for 6 years, she no longer \"wants\" me", "post": "Hello guys, first post here, I'm hoping for some advice. \nAs stated I'm a 22 year old guy. I've been together with my girlfriend for 6 years and it was the first real relationship for both of us.. first kiss, first time sex etc. \nEverything was going fine. We fought, sorted it out multiple times and to me everything seemed fine. I still love her as much as I ever did before.\n\nBut a few weeks ago she started seeming absent. Didnt want to kiss or cuddle anymore unless i initiated it and did not want to have sex at all. \nI accepted it for a bit, but confronted her about it a week later. She told me that she noticed it too. However she didn't know why it was that way. She says she still loves me, but explained that it turned into a more family kind of love over time.\n\nWe talked everything over, there was a lot of crying, but no real fighting and we decided to just see what happens. I'm gonna leave her alone until she decides wether she wants to break up for good or not.\n\nIs there still any hope for this relationship or should I start dealing with all this? Any tips on how to proceed are apprecciated.", "summary": "GF and I were together for 6years, she suddenly didn't want to me intimate anymore and explained her love for me is more like one of a family member. Is it over, or can we recover from that?"} {"id": "t3_4mqe5n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 M] with my coworker [20 F] stopped dating after 1 year. I am now finding it difficult to work in the same place.", "post": "Basically I started dating a woman I work with that is 9 years younger than me. I have always had a problem with dating co-workers and although I know it is not a good idea I do it anyways.\nAfter about a year she ended things by seeing someone else at work. I am not upset with this woman as I know she is young and at the beginning of her adult life but I am finding it difficult to work with her.\n\nI am a pretty lonely person even though I pretend not to be. Every day for the past year we have spoken on the phone and texted throughout the day. Now that it as ended she doesn't speak to me at all. I can't help but feel a sense of abandonment. Now, all of my insecurities have come to life and I can't help but dwell on what is wrong with me that she needed someone else.\n\nI realize that I should have not dated someone so young and that this is my own doing. The difficult part is dealing with how much none of this mattered to her and coping with the loneliness.", "summary": "dated someone at work for about a year and its now ended. How do I get over this loneliness and how can I be normal at work?"} {"id": "t3_4jndf3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[24F] sister[26F] and her husband[23M] are threatening to not invite me to their wedding since I had sex with the grooms father[43M].", "post": "I should mention that this happened five years ago and I wasn't going to talk about it because it was so long ago and they weren't even dating back then, they only started going out six months later.\n\nHer husband[23M] found out recently and told her and they talked to me about it angrily and said it was super inappropriate and wasn't sure they'd be comfortable having me their since his mother will be there as well and they got together again.\n\nThey were divorced when we got together btw, there was no cheating.\n\nI don't think I did anything wrong except maybe not telling them about it but our two families weren't close back then, he was just a neighbor kid back then to me, he wasn't even a friend of the family until six months later when they started dating.\n\nI don't know what to do, am I in the wrong, should I not get an invite for what I did?", "summary": "I slept with my sister's future father-in-law five years ago before she even knew her fianc\u00e9 and she is pissed at me and doesn't want to invite me to her wedding."} {"id": "t3_2172h0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] with my Ex-Girlfriend [ 18F] 2-years, Angry Drunk Text", "post": "Last night I drunk anger texted my ex-girlfriend of 2 year because she was making statuses about a new guy that she had feelings for during our relationship. even though we had broken up only a month ago. In this text i called her a whore and told her to never speak to me again and to stay away from my cousin who she is friends with. \n\nI highly regret this text and I know what is said and done but I just want to find a method for her to forgive this. I DO NOT WANT HER BACK. I just regret calling her a whore. I feel terrible about this and I just want to say I am sorry but there is no way I can.", "summary": "ex and I broke up, she find someone new after a month and I got drunk and angry called her a whore and now regrets it."} {"id": "t3_3xb8rd", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU: Left the line without popcorn", "post": "I just did this... \n\nI have tickets to the 7:40 Force Awakens. I take the day off work and get to the theater at 3PM. We wait several hours. All this time the wife is talking about popcorn. we get in and I get in the concession line. I look down the hallway, the first time I see is 7:20. This imprints into my brain. The line creeps forward. I look at my phone, I'm two people away, but now it's 7:20. As slow as the line is moving, my best hope is to get there by 7:30. \n\nFuck it. I get out of line and try to get into the 7:20 theater. Denied. Shit, I'm reminded that the actual time of my showing is 7:40. Dejected, I go to my theater, tell my wife. She's pissed off. Now I'm back in line about ten from the counter and it is 7:50.", "summary": "got confused about time for Force Awakens, leave consessions line, get back in it; miss start of movie. Fuck!"} {"id": "t3_2sut25", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my boyfriend [27M] of 1.5 years, he broke up with me without telling me.", "post": "So I was with my boyfriend for over 1.5 years. On Thursday he called and said we needed to talk about us. I said I wanted to do this in person. He agreed and said we would meet up sometime this weekend. So far so good.\n\nBut then... he just ignored me. I didn't text him at all until today. I also tried to call him once, but of course he didn't pick up. I can see he's seen all my texts (7 over the course of 3 hours, in which I told him that if he didn't answer I'd go knock at his door, and a list of the stuff I want back). \n\nI asked a mutual friend of ours if she knew anything. Well, on Friday he apparently told everyone that he had broken up with me. \n\nThen I saw on my Facebook feed that he liked his ex's new profile picture and commented that she looks \"dashing\". I immediatly deleted him because I don't need to see this.\n\nWhat the hell? Do people do this? He's 27 for God's sake. It's not like we only dated for a few weeks - we were together for over a year and a half! I definitely don't want him back, but I can't believe that he would just do this to me. I feel like I don't even exist.\n\nDo I show up at his appartment unannouced? I feel like this is my only option as he's not answering any of my texts. I told him I was going, just not when. I'm afraid he would get out of the house at that time... because it's becoming obvious he isn't past the age of playing hide and seek.\n\nI am just baffled that he would do such a thing. I knew things weren't as good as they used to be, but this is just absolutely ridiculous and very much undeserved. I'm hurt.", "summary": "Boyfriend of 1.5 years is giving me the slow fade. Told mutual friends that he broke up with me when he never actually did."} {"id": "t3_3ub2gu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] am worried that I have become a burden to my LDR boyfriend [19M]. What should I do?", "post": "I'm using a throwaway account and my boyfriend's name has been changed. This has been on my mind for a couple of months and I'm hoping Reddit can help me.\n\nI met my boyfriend, Kyle, during our last semester of high school. We attended different high schools, but we lived fairly close to each other. We have had a very happy relationship, quarrels are few. However, I made the decision to attend a local college and live at home. He is attending a college 7 hours away, putting us in a LDR. My transition into college has been a struggle. I was a carefree, party girl in high school with a lot of friends. Now, I have no friends, they've all gone to different schools and no longer communicate with me. I don't believe they do this out of spite, we've just grown apart. I'm very shy and I have had trouble meeting people who I connect with at school. Kyle is the only non-relative person I have to talk to or hang out with (when he comes home to visit). This has had a huge toll on my mental health, or so I feel. I feel very lonely. I'm generally a positive, upbeat person, but this has noticeably brought down my general happy vibe. My personal problems aside, I worry that Kyle may only be sticking around to make sure I don't go off the deep end. I don't have any solid evidence of this, he is still just as loving and sweet to me as he always has been. I love him very much, but I just don't want to hold him back from having a \"full\" college experience, and I don't want him to feel like he is stuck with a depressed, friendless girlfriend. Besides this, our relationship is fine. So I'm curious as to what my options may be here. Is our relationship really fine? Should I let him go? Should I ask him how he feels about this, and how would I start that conversation? Help!", "summary": "I have no friends and I'm worried that my boyfriend is forcing himself to stick around out of the goodness of his heart."} {"id": "t3_olftt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I want to build a Daft Punk helmet, can anyone help, please?", "post": "Hello Reddit,\n\nI was given a Bobbafett (is that how you spell it?) helmet during Christmas. After derping around with my friends enough, I decided to make something cool with it: A Daft Punk style helmet, with LED lights and all that jazz.\n\nI don't know if it's possible to do that using the Bobbafett helmet. And my friends didn't seem to be interested in the idea, thus I want to ask Reddit for inputs.\n\nDo you guys know where I can start from? Oh, also - I have hardly any experiences with electronics as well as craftsmanship skills. Thanks, reddit.", "summary": "Want to make Daft Punk style helmet from a Bubbafett helmet, possible or not? If yes, where should I start from? Given that I have very little experiences in electronics, crafting, etc."} {"id": "t3_3nnwgj", "subreddit": "self", "title": "This is the story of how I inspired my friend to get a boob tattoo.", "post": "I need to share this story and I don't think /r/tattoos is really the place, so here goes.\n\nSo, I have sort of an unintelligible train of thought most of the time, but I'm pretty sure I was thinking about [this image] (pretty common for me, happens 2-3 times a week) when this dumb pun popped into my head. Naturally, I texted this to someone who I thought would appreciate it:\n\n>if i were a woman i'd get 666 tattooed on my boob and when people asked about it i'd just say \"666 the number of the breast\"\n\nStupid, right? Well, this particular friend has a bunch of tattoos and is always getting new ones, and she thought it was funny enough that when she gets her next one (already planned; sometime in the next month) she's just going to get the Beelzebub booby brand along with it.", "summary": "I spent 5 minutes coming up with \"Beelzebub booby brand;\" you can take a minute or two to read the post."} {"id": "t3_4m8zg9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23M] am trying to get back with with my [23F] ex-girlfriend, but before we do I have to talk with her mom..", "post": "About a year ago my ex girlfriend broke with me after being together for a year and a half. We had a tumultuous relationship at times, but it was pretty awesome for the most part. She found out I had gone on webcam porn sites and was understandably furious about it. I know the mistake that I made, and in this last year apart I have grown in so many different ways, and so has she. We recently started talking again and things have been pretty great, and I'm committed to making it different this time, but her mom hates that she is talking to me again.\n\nSo tonight i am supposed to go have a \"meeting\" with her and her mom. I don't necessarily understand why her mom has the right to be in the middle of our relationship, but I am willing to do anything to prove to her how much I care and how committed I am. How can I apologize to her mom and what kind of things can I say? I want her to know how much I care about her daughter, and that the things that happened in the past won't happen again. I have a second chance now and I don't want to mess it up. Any feedback would be great. Thanks", "summary": "Ex's mom hates that we are talking again and now I have to talk to her about it and apologize. What do I say or do?"} {"id": "t3_1gy9s9", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to improve my health.", "post": "Last year I lost a bunch of weight, and like most- this year I'm well on the way to gaining it back. In an effort to lose the 25 lbs that I gained, I decided to start the same regimen I did last year by going on a several mike long walk/jog in my toe shoes. 6 miles in I notice that one of my toes starts to hurt and so I turn around and jog the 6 miles back, checking my toe for damage when I get home. It's fine, not even raw. So imagine to my surprise when I look down today, 4 days later, and see the biggest blister I've ever seen sprouting from my middle toe. Being a dumb college kid, I find my fiance's dull pocket knife and go at it. Nothing but blood and thick yellow goo. I'm now sitting at the urgent care getting it stitched up (it was under all the skin and they had to remove some, then sew) about to go on antibiotics.\nI will burn the shoes when I get home.", "summary": "running in old, \"good for you natural\" shoes caused a massive infected blister that has to be stitched up."} {"id": "t3_396aev", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [17F] and I [17M] have known each other for almost a year as best friends. We both developed feelings for each other and decided we wanted to be in a relationship, but the transition from friends to boyfriend and girlfriend feels strange.", "post": "In August of 2014, I met my now-girlfriend in a class we had together. We started talking and immediately hit it off. We had so much in common, we almost instantly became close friends.\n\nSomewhat recently, we both realized we had feelings for each other that were more than as just friends.\n\nWe went on a few dates, but we were already so close we just felt like we were hanging out with a friend who we were attracted to. Eventually, we decided we wanted to become exclusive and begin a relationship with each other.\n\nNow that we are together, it feels as though nothing has changed. We were two very close friends who were attracted to each other for quite a while, and now we've just taken that extra step to begin an exclusive relationship with each other.\n\nWhat can we do to make this feel more like \"dating\" rather than just two friends who are attracted to each other spending time together?", "summary": "Was best friends with this girl, we decided to begin a relationship, now it feels as though nothing has changed and we want to make it feel more like we're \"dating\" instead of just friends who are attracted to one another."} {"id": "t3_ukcd8", "subreddit": "self", "title": "My brother fooled around with our cousin's cousin...", "post": "This past weekend my cousin was getting married. My brother is relatively lonely. Well, we started drinking an excess amount of maker's mark and just so happened to be sitting at the same table as our cousin's cousins. Towards the end of the night I went outside to get another drink from the bar and noticed them coming back and knew immediately something happened. The party ends and we all get back on the bus to go to the hotel. If it was not for my brother puking all over the bus, more would have pursued and things would be much more awkward. I'm the only one who knows they made out, and can't stop laughing about it. \n\nI thought you guys might like the story. Have a good one...", "summary": "My brother made out with our cousin's cousin. He ended up puking all over the place and fortunately didn't sleep with her."} {"id": "t3_3c07va", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my unofficial gf [20 F] 3 months, transferring to another college 1 hour away, we both have a heavy work load. Really want this, but she's thinking logically for the both of us? idk what to do?", "post": "She's not my unoffiical gf. TBH, I don't know what she is. \n\nShe's super smart and transferring to one of the best schools in the world.\n\nI'm not stupid but she's on another level. Dated a lot but never had a real relationship.\n\nShe wants me to focus on transferring, which I am. I'll have to take two of the highest Math Classes, entire physics, and advanced programming in c++ & java. \n\nSeeing her won't be much of an issue. Probably we get to see her 3 weekends a month at the most. Maybe one weekend at the least.\n\nI don't know how to tell her what she means. She said she'll decide towards the end of august. I want an answer now, so I can get over her sooner.", "summary": "only girl I've ever truly liked. She's thinking logically for the both of us. Both of us have lots of school work. idk what to do?"} {"id": "t3_28x662", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by over estimating how much a rat can pee", "post": "Background info: When I was around 5 years old, I had a rat named bob and he lived in one of those little glass aquarium/cages. There is only one bathroom that I could use back then (the other is attached to my parents room). I also had no concept of how much small animals peed. \n\nOne day my parents were having a party, and they said they weren't going to force me to mingle with their friends. During the party I was hiding in my room when I realized I really had to pee, but I didn't want to make it known that I was home by going to the bathroom. I ended up holding my pee for far too long and finally made a run for it, but there was someone in there. Whoever was in the bathroom must have been having some problems because they were there for a really long time. Meanwhile my bladder was about to burst, so I ran back into my room frantic, saw the glass aquarium and let loose. Bob immediately sought out shelter on top of his little house while his aquarium filled with over an inch of pee. \n\nAfter I peed in his cage I panicked, but then realized I had a perfect scapegoat... the rat. I gathered up my courage, ran upstairs and told my mom that Bob had an accident in his cage. She was confused but came down to my room, along with a bunch of her friends. As soon as everyone walked in and saw bob swimming around in an inch of pee I confidently said \"I think Bob peed\". Everyone was able to come to the conclusion that that I was the one who peed in the aquarium and burst out laughing, I was absolutely mortified at the time.", "summary": "I peed in a rat aquarium, then blamed it on the rat... got caught in my lie by a group of people and was mortified."} {"id": "t3_3epul0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "It's been 3 years and I [25 M] still haven't gotten over her, when will it happen?", "post": "Nothing has changed, I haven't talked to her for a long time, she's history, yet I think about her every day. I don't do it out of my own will, it just sort of happens on its own. I have gone on dates with plenty of girls ever since, but I still can't get her out of my head. She seemed perfect in every way. We broke up because of the distance and because I found out she cheated on me due to the distance. I know that doesn't make her perfect but somebody explain how I am supposed to get over her then cause it's been 3 years and counting and no matter how negatively I think about it and remind my brain of why I should be happy that I'm no longer with her, my heart keeps wanting to be with her and it's driving me insane.", "summary": "I haven't gotten over my ex 3 years after we broke up. I'm thinking at this point I never will."} {"id": "t3_3lqtlz", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (26M) can't help but feel jealous that my gf (25F) of almost 2 years used to have threesomes with her ex husband but will not with me.", "post": "So my gf and I have been dating for a few years now and she had brought up the fact that she's had multiple threesomes with her ex husband both mff and mfm she has said she didn't really enjoy the mff that much because she felt insecure about stretch marks...etc but she really enjoyed the mfm threesome a lot. Every couple of months I bring up the idea of us having a mff threesome and she completely shuts the idea down saying she's not comfortable enough to do that and doesn't want to share me and couldn't stand seeing another woman please me or get me off. My question is am I wrong to feel jealous about the fact that she would do these things with her ex but not me? I've tried explaining to her that it makes me feel like I'm second best, and I think being with someone long term that those people should give each other their best everything including sexually but I don't feel like I get that and she says it will never happen.", "summary": "my gf won't do things with me that she did with her ex because \"she's not like that anymore\""} {"id": "t3_3xscj4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23F] just started a new job in a new city after leaving my old town due to addiction issues. Now fear I have stuffed up this chance at a fresh start.", "post": "Throwaway for obvious reasons.\n\nI work in financial services (think investment). I'm a young, high achiever. I recently moved to one of the top firms following a 2 month 'holiday' where I left my old town and got clean off cocaine.\n\nBusiness in my old town ran on coke, absolutely everyone was doing it, and I was doing it daily. It was very hard to come off of it but I went home to my home town and spent some time with friends and family and got clean.\n\nI moved to my new posting about 2 weeks ago and all was going well. Until the Christmas Party. After I was already quite boozed up someone brought out a bunch of coke. Everyone was doing it and I stupidly partook. \n\nWhen I am on cocaine I don't behave like me at all. Long story short I was a mess and went home with one of the VPs. \n\nNow I'm mortified and feel totally hopeless not only about my new company (which was meant to represent a fresh start for me), but about the future and also about facing work after this.\n\nHas anyone been through anything similar? I am an idiot and don't know how to deal with this.", "summary": "Left old job/town due to coke problem, get clean, arrive at new job in new town and within 2 weeks find myself in a mortifying situation involving coke. Not sure how to move forward."} {"id": "t3_yqrfu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend (40) of one 8 months invites me (36) to go to a party but I'm unsure if he really wants me to be there.", "post": "Edited because i put the word one by mistake in the title and i cant remove it.\n\nWe've been dating eight months. We are both divorced and I was with my ex for 15 years so I really am clueless about how relationships and daring works. Lately we spend almost every weekend together, usually on Thursday he will ask what my plans are despite the fact we are usually together. I said I don't have any plans this weekend, and I asked him if he had any and he said he was invited to a party hosted by a couple that he knows. Then he asked me if I wanted to come along. Normally he will ask, can you come with me? Or ask in a more more encouraging way. How can I ask if he actually wants me there. I know this sounds pretty pathetic but I am seriously clueless.", "summary": "how do I know when to give my boyfriend space or if he really wants to spend time with him without him thinking I'm being clingy"} {"id": "t3_1rl2nj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19M] am in the middle of a really weird situation with two of my friends [19F][19M].", "post": "So recently my friend (the other guy) and I seem to have a crush on the same girl (our other friend). I know I have a crush on the girl, and he has told me and badically everyone aloud that he has a crush on her too. The thing that makes this situation weird(er) is that this girl has a very long distance boyfriend, and you can tell things aren't working out. \n\nThe three of us have been hanging out a lot lately and we usually watch movies all night/into the morning and she will sit in between both of us and we all share one big blanket. The thing is, that while watching these movies she has been wrapping her foot around mine/playing light footsy and putting her hand on my leg, under the blanket.\n\nThis last night/morning however when she put her foot and hand in the same places, I reciprocated and put my hand on her leg/over her arm. Ever so slowly, we gradually ended up holding hands, like two people normally would, tightly intertwined. Obviously this is a weird scenario, but upon unlocking hands to get up or shift positions or change movies, we would end up holding hands again and again.\n\nI didn't think the situation couldn't get anymore confusing or weird, but now we bring the other guy friend into the picture. He is a very arrogant and chauvinistic kind of guy, always flaunting his muscles and bragging about girls he gets with and what not. The thing is, periodically he will put his arm behind her, lying it on the back of the futon we share, and then gradually moving it to around her shoulder or waist. Take note that this is not her boyfriend (and neither am I) and she might honestly see it as friendly, even though that sounds absurd. \n\nSo yeah, that's my situation. Please don't lecture me on boyfriend/girlfriend ettiquette, I get it already. I just need advice/opinions.", "summary": "my friend and I are \"competing\" for the same friend of ours. She has a boyfriend, but has been holding my hand/playing footsy with me during movies."} {"id": "t3_1sm7nf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [31M] just found out I have genital herpes. The girl [32F] I've been seeing for 2 months has become distant since I've told her.", "post": "I had something that seemed like a genital herpes outbreak early in the year. I was not able to see a doctor at the time, but later my doctor blood tested me for herpes which came back negative. It was a huge relief but he warned sometimes a blood test can show negative up to 12 months after the initial infection.\n\nAbout 2 months ago I started seeing a girl, and I was honest with her that I'd had a scare, and although I tested negative it was still a possibility I had it. She said she was fine with it and we began a sexual relationship. We used condoms and Valtrex as protection just to be sure.\n\nLast week I tested positive. I told her the news and despite reassuring me when I spoke to her that it was fine, she has since become distant and unresponsive. Her messages have gone from multiple playful messages every day and sweet 'goodnight' texts to bare communication every other day. She has canceled two evenings we planned together and seems reluctant to make new plans. \n\nThis is the happiest I've ever been with a girl, she's amazing and we have an incredible connection which I know she feels too. We have each spoken of the intensity of our attraction to each other, and have had such intense and frequent sex we laughed about how we're going to die of exhaustion if we spend too much time together. Before last week I saw a long and happy future with this amazing woman but now I fear I'm going to lose her over this.\n\nI don't know what to do. Dozens of articles point to the fact that with proper precautions the rate of transmission is almost zero. The evidence suggests she has less chance of catching from me than from another guy who's status is unknown and is not taking preventative medication, but at the moment we're not even communicating enough for me to tell her that.\n\nHow do I re-establish communication so we can at least talk about this? How can I help her see that this doesn't have to be the end of our relationship?", "summary": "I just found out I got herpes from my ex-gf. The amazing girl I've been seeing has become very distant since I told her."} {"id": "t3_t0drc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So Reddit, what was your most embarrassing moment to do with your body?", "post": "When I was around 12, for our P.E group, we all had to do the high jump as part of our olympic topic. I was average at best at this, and I had a weird run. When I say weird, it was kind of like I was running with a boner. All the time. So I was getting ready for the high jump, there were around 7 or so people left. I was getting really into it, I was pumped. Today would be the day I kicked there asses, the day that I became BETTER at P.E. \n\nSo about five minutes later, my turn rolls around. I was last but one to go. The other kids were cheering me on. I was gunna destroy it. Well, I didnt get anywhere near it. I slipped on one of the plastic cones, (they were in the direction of a path we had to run across, as you may know you have to run at an angle for the high jump) and hit my foot on the soft mat we had to land on. I broke my ankle. Yep, broke it. I was on crutches for a while and when I got back to school, that was the top of the gossip list. People sometimes still go on about it today. Needless to say, I am oh so careful when doing the High jump now.", "summary": "Doing High Jump in our P.E topic, slipped on plastic cone, hurt ankle and broke it on a soft mat."} {"id": "t3_1ke7m9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [m/21] going to hang out with a girl [20/f] who I had/have a crush on since High School..we were friends in HS, but I haven't seen her in a few years and I want things to go a different route.", "post": "Hey reddit, so as the title says I've known this girl for a good number of years. We're both in college in the same city but different schools. I haven't seen her in about 3 years since HS, and I always had a big crush on her. We we're good friends in HS as I was an ugly pimply duckling. But I have now grown and do look a lot different (better wise). \n\nI recently texted her to hang out and she's responded willingly and wants to meet up to hang out. I don't want this to seem as I just want to be friends but I don't want to full on get on her either, just play it cool for now. So I'm more confident now conversation wise, and interesting wise but what subjects should I avoid that seem \"friend zone\" friendly, and what should I avoid that says let's be friends.\n\nI haven't been single in about two and a half years and have been alone for about two months now so i'm pretty new to this game. Thanks for all yer help!", "summary": "Texted an old HS crush to hang out. She said yes. Need advice on how to approach the hangout w/o getting friend zoned like I did in HS."} {"id": "t3_3pp2oa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [24F] just learn to accept myself at my current weight and put myself out there?", "post": "Dear r/relationships,\n\nThis is a hard thing for me to write. I'm 24 years old and I've been in just one relationship. I've always let my weight hold me back, because I was/am convinced that due to my weight, guys wouldn't be interested in me. But more than that, I'm uncomfortable in my skin, too. \n\nI see what people on Reddit say and in the real world about fat women, especially ones who say they have an illness. I actually have an endocrine and an autoimmune disorder that greatly reduces my resting metabolic rate, and eating like a normal girl my age actually leads me to gain weight. Luckily for my health, I'm not obese or anything, but I AM overweight and I don't lose weight like any other normal girl unless I'm at a super deficit. I won't make excuses because if I was able to hold strong on eating much less than I'm used to/everyone else, hormones willing, I could probably do it. But I feel so bummed when I see people talking about how lazy fat women are, such as: oh haha, suuuure she has an \"illness,\" can't she just stick to a 1500 (or whatever #) calorie diet?\n\nI'm working on it and haven't given up on keeping on trying to lose weight. But I'm holding myself back *now.* After internalizing a lot of comments like the ones above, I'm too afraid to flirt with guys in person or to put myself up on a dating website, even though I logically know it's ridiculous. I'm worried about guys or girls snickering behind my back. Despite the fact that tons of people who aren't skinny have normal relationships, and I never think that when I see bigger girls dating or flirting! I just don't know how to get myself out of that mindset. \n\nIt's putting my life on hold, too. I want to be able to date and experience relationships, but I have no idea how to come to terms with my weight as it is **now.** \n\nAdvice? Similar situations out there? Suggestions?", "summary": "I'm an overweight girl and I've always held myself back from flirting or dating because I'm uncomfortable in my body as it is and I'm scared of how people might react. What is a good way to get over this?"} {"id": "t3_3728zm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My BF [25M] of a year is beginning to treat me [22F] more like a friend rather than a GF. Should I just break up with him?", "post": "My boyfriend is not a great communicator and it's gotten worse. He's gradually began to become less affectionate, at this point I feel like another one of his friends rather than his SO. \n\nHes become less invested in our relationship and I feel like sometimes he couldn't care less about communicating with me on a regular basis. He used to be so infatuated with me and used to love talking to me but now I am not sure if he is just getting bored. I really don't know if I should still be with him or break up, any suggestions would help.", "summary": "Bf gradually becoming less affectionate and less invested in our relationship; not sure if I should stay with him or not."} {"id": "t3_2bciju", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25/M] just landed a job in my field and haven't get started working and got a problem", "post": "I just recently accepted a new job in the IT field I have been trying to get into ever since I finished school. I am really excited and cannot wait to start in two weeks. I have already started to fill out the necessary paper work that needs to be done for the job.\n\nFor details, I am 25/M and have been with my girlfriend 26/F for about three years now. Everything is going famtastic on that front.\n\nNow today I get a phone call from a mysterious number. I answer it and it is my girlfriends exboyfriend. Mind you, I have never talkedn met or have any clue what went on between him and my crurrent girlfriend. He informs me who he is and that he works at the company I got accepted at as a manager position. He goes on to tell me how he would like for me to \"step away from the position\" and how he \"doesn't want to see me there to be honest\". Now I have to say he was rather calm and stable during this phone call. There was no yelling or insults. He did go on about how he is sure \"you're a nice guy and all\" but he just does not want me to work there or see me. He was suggesting I renig on the offer letter I got and insisted he has connections to help me get a job in the industry elsewhere.\n\nI mean, I have never once talked to this guy and neither has my girlfriend (I already talked to her about this). How should I handle this situation? Should I tell HR? I mean, howd he get my contact infortmation? When I look online I can see who my manager is for the position and it is certainly not him. Should I just go to the job and leave this be? Any advice would be nice!\n\nOh, and this guy is around his 30's/M.", "summary": "My girlfriends ex works at the company I got a job at. Tried to coerce and almost threatened me to not accept the job. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_3kim56", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend's [24m] friend [24f] is getting married - I [23f] am not invited. How do I handle this without overreacting?", "post": "I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have been living together for the past 3 years. We live a couple of hours away from our hometown, as we both moved to the city for job opportunities/university. \n\nAt the start of the year my boyfriend's good friend, let's call her Emily, got engaged. We were so happy for her and both attended her engagement party (with a present I picked out). While I am not especially close with Emily I have met her many times, I was at her 21st, have been to her and her fiance's house and we have always gotten along well. \n\nYesterday my bf received a call from Emily and she told him that I would not be invited to the wedding, as the guest list was getting too large and expensive, as well as the fact she doesn't see me often. While I understand that weddings are expensive and guest lists must be a huge pain, I also feel incredibly insulted that she has decided to cut me out. \n\nI know that other plus ones have definitely been invited, and while I know that I don't see Emily very often the reason for that is my bf doesn't see her very often, as we live 2 hours away. \n\nMy bf is very non-confrontational, and while he is also upset that I cannot go I do not believe he would even think to not attend the wedding, even though he will know very few people there. But I feel like after 5 years, our relationship warrants a plus one to a wedding, and to not invite me is insulting and dismissive of our very serious relationship. \n\nI am really hurt by this, as I thought we were also friends by association, or at least friendly. Is it an overreaction/too controlling to ask him to consider not attending? How do I manage the hurt feelings?", "summary": "Boyfriend of 5 years has a friend getting married - she has specifically not invited me. How should I handle the situation?"} {"id": "t3_3vvkws", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with [20s? M] won't leave me alone when I eat lunch.", "post": "So I'm a bit of an introvert, my classes really tire me out so lunch time is sacred to me for just eating alone and reading in the library cafe. It really is the highlight of my day between school and my night shift at work.\n\nThis guy, who I'll name after the hat he wears \"Fedora\" will not take the hint to leave me the fuck alone. He has approached me multiple times to talk about himself and basically try and ask me to hang out later. I've tried to be nice to him and tell him that I have a busy schedule so I don't have time for friends. He insists that I'm just being mean to him, I'm just rejecting him because I have a boyfriend, I must need to company because I'm eating alone.. etc etc.\n\nHe usually diverts the conversation back to talking about himself again. I'm not trying to be mean but I think he might be different in some way because he cannot grasp the clear signs that I am uncomfortable talking to him and all my hints that I am busy and need this conversation to end. I don't know what else to do. He keeps alluding to me being mean by me wanting to eat my lunch in peace.", "summary": "This guy won't stop talking to me on my lunch break and I need advice of how to tell him to beat it, kick rocks etc in a nice way if possible."} {"id": "t3_2okkpl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27F] left my parents after it came out that my dad [50s] molested my sister years ago. Now his dad is dying. Not sure what to do about the funeral.", "post": "Pretty much the title. When I was in my teens/early 20's, my dad and sister had a very bizarre relationship which led me to believe that they sexual together. So a couple months ago when my sister finally came out and said that he molested her, I believed her totally. My mom -- who was and still is with my dad, not believing that he did anything to my sister -- was caring for my kids a lot at the time, and I removed them from their household, telling her that it was time for me to start spending more time with the kids. I told her at the time that it just wasn't the best time to discuss how I felt about what happened with my sister and dad, and that another time would be best. I've only seen my mom a couple time since then, but she does text me often. Before, I was at their house pretty much every day. We haven't spoken about it again. I haven't seen my dad since, and I think I told him something along the lines of, \"Yeah, it's just not the best time to talk about it.\", and I left. \n\nMy dad's dad may be dying now. We were not especially close, I'd met him a couple dozen times I'd say. I don't want to go the funeral, because I don't want to see my dad. I feel really bad about how that looks to his family, and especially to my grandma. I believe none (or few) know about the accusations made by my sister, so it would just look like I skipped it for no reason. I also would like to just go see my grandpa's funeral, but I feel like that's the wrong choice. I'd really prefer to just never see my dad again. I have so much hate for him when I don't see him, and I'd rather just not pull all of that up again. I've also only been to 1 funeral before, so I'm not sure how funeral/attendance etiquette goes.", "summary": "A couple months ago my sister came out that my dad molested her years ago. I stopped talking to my dad. Now his dad may be dying. I feel bad about probably missing the funeral. Meh."} {"id": "t3_3ugmr6", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "I think I might be underpaid.", "post": "A few months ago I got hired by a smallish machine shop (50 employees). It was through a temp service and I'm pretty certain the temp service did nothing to argue for a higher pay rate based on my education and previous experience (BA in ID, Cert in Solidworks, Experience in MasterCam work and lathe).\n\nFast-forward In 3 month's I've done the following: (wording maybe weird, pasted from a work email)\n\n\u00b7 87 dimensioned and filed part drawings\n\n-Drawings combine both supplier call-outs and in-house company specific annotation\n\n-Call-outs also include both tap and drilled hole features\n\n\u00b7 84 dimensioned parts\n\n -4 of the assemblies requiring 50 mates and 161 features\n\n-12 requiring a multi-plane axis \u2013 specific to the Compression Bearing design\n\n-3 of 3 the multi-plane surfaces I've modeled so far and formated have run according to supplier specifics (before I got there I have no idea how they milled this one particular feature... its a combination of 3Dspline and equally divided control points... kinda of a art, keeping surface to remain flat)\n\u00b7 75+ in-house revisions based on company specific machine and manufacturing requirements (estimation based on \"save\" count)\n\nI'm also the back up MasterCam guy if the other quits because me and the production manager are the only guys who know the program\n\nBUT... I love what I do. And my boss/owner drivers the most piece of krap vehicle I've ever scene. Also the company just bought a EDM wire machine I've been drooling over. But, I make a little over minumum wage", "summary": "Created and maintain company parts library, responsible for key feature in company wide part design, and I make a few bucks more than minimum wage"} {"id": "t3_3dh738", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "The things below got me in trouble again", "post": "Hello legal side of reddit. Obvious throw away. \nI put myself in a stupid situation that I obviously deserve but I'm wondering if I should be freaking out as much as I am.\nBasically I was on a popular anonymous social network app. I asked someone for nudes who was obviously 17, and they had me send them $10 with a popular internet based money system. Stupid me used my real email and they got my name. They found my facebook, which led them to my town (which was supposed to be completely private) and are basically saying they'll go to the police if I don't send them the rest of the money in my account. \nLet it be known that they didn't actually send any pictures, but stupid me did send money.\nIt also turns out that I was speaking to them through the same app but on a different message. They must have two accounts, but I'm sure it was the same person because they gave me the same email address in both messages. I called them out but they denied it. They also claimed to be 18 in the other message. Are they just running a scam to get my money?", "summary": "Asked someone who was obviously a year under age for a nude and gave them $10 over the internet. They got my name and my facebook and are extorting me for money. Am I as screwed as I think I am?"} {"id": "t3_2nboks", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Dog fell into elevator shaft (faulty door), complex claims to look..didn't, dog found alive a week later, complex now being difficult about paying the vet bill..how do I approach this?!", "post": "Monday November 11th our dog escaped out of her harness as the elevator went up. We ended up on the 3rd floor and the dog ended up outside the elevator on level 1 where the door opened and the dog fell into the elevator shaft about 30 feet...fracturing her pelvis and messing up he hips as well. We asked the complex to check the elevator shaft and they claimed to have looked 3 separate times with no sight of the dog. \n\nA week later, the following Monday another resident heard whining and there was the dog in the elevator shaft with less than a foot to live under. We told them they need to pay for the vet bill and they agreed and are now being difficult. The phone calls of them claiming they looked are recorded by the complex...what can we do?!", "summary": "dog falls into elevator shaft, complex claims to look 3 times, dog found week later alive with fractured pelvis. Complex agrees to pay vet bill, now being difficult. What do?"} {"id": "t3_3xmz72", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU and might lose my job.", "post": "First time poster here! This actually happened this past Friday and I've been sat wallowing in my own misery ever since, figured I'd get it off my chest!\n\nSo I started a new job a couple of months ago, moved to a completely new city, don't know the area, don't know anybody. So at the moment work encompasses my entire life, which is fine because I actually love my job! Apparently though my manager has concerns that I'm not fitting in and that I'm not happy which couldn't be further from the truth, I'm just not a naturally enthusiastic person. \n\nSo my two month review comes around and she discusses these concerns with me, some of which we've talked about before and some of which I disagree with. She had typed up two pages of comments which left me feeling like I had to defend myself. She asked me to write down any comments I had in a little box at the end............long story short I end up using the box and another two pages stapled onto the form to completely refute all of the comments she made, all in the hopes that we would have another chance to talk them over.\n\nWell, that talk never came. About an hour after I'm called into HR and was told that I had been suspended pending a review in the middle of the week. The result of which could be me losing a job I love, being stuck with rent I can't afford and bills I cannot pay. If I keep my job, I may have also completed fucked up the relationship with my manager who I actually think is really nice. \n\nLooks like Santa has a big present in his sleigh for me this year......Unemployment.", "summary": "Wrote a two page essay to my manager on why her review about me was wrong. Got suspended......might be fired. "} {"id": "t3_eq7oa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriends's grandmother is pissing me off. How can I cope?", "post": "Not sure what to do about this anymore. Been with gf for 5 years. We have a 1 year old. Unfortunately due to economic reasons, we've all had to move in with my gf's grandmother while we job hunt and save for a place of our own. This woman hates me. I have no idea why, there's never been a concrete reason given to anyone. My family isn't perfect, I don't have regular contact with most of them because of this, but I still love them, they're my family. She hates them too. She knows little pieces of their past problems, but nothing totally.\n\n The past 5 months, I've had to endure little jabs, little comments, shit she says that just gets under your skin and ticks away like a fucking time bomb. Few weeks ago, my mother contacted me and asked if she could get something sent there so I could give it to her as she was in between places. I said fine, it's just one piece of mail. Today it came and dear sweet granny said \"why is it coming here?\" \"Well, it was just one piece of mail and she needed it, won't happen again. She just doesn't have a...\" \"She doesn't have a return address? How pathetic.\" I just about fucking snapped on her, but we don't really have another option of places to live right now. Reddit, I need advice on how to keep my sanity in this place, around this woman. I can't have a conversation with her. I can't be here when my gf isn't. Its too awkward. What the fuck can I do? Murder not an option but has been fantasized about greatly.", "summary": "gf's grandmother is a bitch and I have to put up with her until we find our own place. How can I deal with the stress in the meantime?"} {"id": "t3_3d47kl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I consider breaking up due to long term compatibility?", "post": "Im 22 (male) and my girlfriend is 21. We met last year at college and we were both seniors, we've been going out for 7 months. Things are going really well so far, we both love each other and I couldn't be happier, except for one thing. Im not sure if were compatible together long term. She see's herself living in a warm climate in the future, and I like it here in the northeast. She wants to live in the country at one point in the future and I like the suburbs. She isn't sure she wants her own kids (maybe adopt) and I think I want my own kids in the future. She doesn't see herself living in one place her whole life, and I have a family job I might need to not move far away from. I love her and am really happy, but should I end things sooner rather than later and be even more emotionally invested?", "summary": "My girlfriend and I are really happy now. But are complete opposites in where we see ourselves in the future. Should I end it before we get more invested?"} {"id": "t3_21ibde", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my GF [21 F] of 1 1/2 months, having issues with trusting her", "post": "I know it is early on in this but I really love this girl, I want things to work out, but I need some advice. We've been around each other since October, and things heated up around January. We have had a great sex life so far, have even taken a couple of small trips that went very well, and I am very happy with things.\n\nBut I also have a concern regarding our relationship. When we first met she had a BF of 5 years, and gradually I heard her talking about being unhappy so I moved in and started talking to her a little more. We really sparked, and we had one make out session while they were dating, but kept things under control. They broke up, and we started talking more and more, and I thought she was done with him. \n\nBut then we started hanging out and I noticed they still texted each other, and was ok with it at that point. Once we started dating though I felt I had a right to ask that she not see him any more. Up to that point she was upfront about them spending time together still, but claimed she just wants to be friends still, but I just can't help but think something is wrong with it. I confronted her about it and since she hasn't directly said she has been with him, but I know they text from time to time, and it really is starting to bug me. Can I say that I want it to stop completely? She already told me she is afraid of an ultimatum about it (and I'm not the type to dangle our relationship over her head), but I want it to stop.", "summary": "My GF still talks to her ex and I'm not sure if she just needs time or I need to make it known how I feel."} {"id": "t3_2vj5ar", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "20 [M] 19 [F] Its going downhill after 14 months. I need Urgent help.", "post": "I'll try to make this short.\n\nI'm currently with a women, whome I've been with for 14 months, she has taken my 2 year old under her wing when we have him (Different relationship with 50/50 care). She lives with me and my parents, her parents live roughly an hour away and the town we live in, she knows barely anyone.\n\nLately thing have been.. different... when i use to wake up, i would love to wake up beside her and she loved being with me and my son. Lately though, she has been different, here is a list of things.\n\n1. She spends almost all her time on her phone on facebook messaging people when we're around eachother.\n\n2. She complains when i have my son and he has a bad nights sleep because she doesn't get to sleep much (He's in a bed in our room for now).\n\n3. She doesn't trust me to go anywhere on my own (She has verbally said that to me)\n\n4. She doesn't like me talking to anyone.\n\n5. I had a few friends before the relationship. Now no one comes near me, and she's always talking bad about them.\n\nHonestly, i use to love waking up and spending my time with here. Now i try my best to avoid interaction. I keep telling myself i need to leave her so that i can be happy, but i worry that my Son will miss her. I also don't just want to kick her out on the street with no where to go.", "summary": "Partner \"Adopts\" my son, I've lost all my friends and don't feel that i love her but i don't want her to have no where to go."} {"id": "t3_2olp90", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 2 years relationship, we have a child with 6 months, i cheated and i can't handle it anymore.", "post": "We are on a relationship with almost 3 years, it was always a long distance relationship, so we see each other only on the weekends. We found out that she was pregnant in december of the last year. \n\nIn the middle of this, i met a girl, she was 18 years old and we fell in love. I got really dizzy in this situation, with a pregnant girlfriend and in love with other girl... She didn't knew about the pregnancy, we had one night of love. (no sex)\n\nAfter this, in march, i telled her about the pregnancy, we lost our contact, we didn't talked to each other anymore; We got drama classes together, with no personal contact.\n\nI didn't tell my girlfriend about her, and in july our child was born, i decided to keep hiding the past from her. Then she found out what i did with some facebook chat histories. She didn't broke up with me, but she didn't trusted me anymore. \n\nI promised that i would do as much effort for her and our child, so we're still together, but our relationship is getting worser everyday. Meeting just on the weekends and with no confidence.\n\nI'm still in love with the other girl, and she still loving me. I don't want to stay on my broken relationship, but i can't break up because we have a little and beautiful girl that we love too much. \n\nIn one hand i want to stay with her because a break up would bring so much problems to our child and our family. In other hand, i don't love her and can't handle our relationship anymore.\n\nI think is just a matter of time to the break up.\n\nWhat should i do reddit?\n\n(Sorry for the mistakes in the text, english isn't my native language.)", "summary": "We have a child, cheated my GF, i'm in love with the other girl, can't break up because it involves our child."} {"id": "t3_3cw1dh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] feel unwanted by those around me.", "post": "20M college student. In Jr high and high school I was pretty socially awkward, but over time I've gotten significantly more comfortable around people and have gotten better at interacting with them. I have a great girlfriend and a few wonderful friends who I've expressed my feelings to.\n\nI feel like people don't want me around. I don't have people asking me to do things often, and there's a lack of reciprocation with invitations to do things. \n\nNow, I figure it's because I'm not fun to be around or something. That's an easy answer, right? Or I figure I can ask those who do want me around what the deal is. Neither, seemingly.\n\nI make a big effort to be loving and engaged with people, and people always compliment me on that. Those close to me tell me that others speak highly of me and say they want me around, but said people never reach out to me directly. Despite my best efforts, to most people I'm a friend of convenience and an afterthought. Someone to make them feel good about themselves (another thing people compliment me on) without having to give anything back.\n\nIn public, I'm this cool, collected, happy go lucky/gentle and loving/etc person based on what the situation calls for. My insecurities and (infrequent) negative emotions are something I reveal to a select few.\n\nI know this is an or snapshot of my life, but its late and I have some post vacation back to reality blues and I just wanted to write down my thoughts in a place that others could offer their perspectives. Any and all perspectives are appreciated.", "summary": "disconnect in how people talk about me vs reach out to me. Does anyone have any thoughts on what I'm doing wrong or what's going on? It perplexes me and those who love me are unable to offer insight."} {"id": "t3_3gmb22", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying on pants", "post": "Throw away for reasons.\n\nThis technically happened yesterday. Anyways, last week I was running and I fell and hurt my knee pretty bad. I put medicine on it and a band-aid and we were all good. \n\nYesterday I went to work with my mom to try on clothes for school. That morning I noticed my band-aid was looking gross so I took it off. The wound was nasty looking green, so I decided to let it air out a bit.\n\nFast forward to later when I'm trying on pants. At this point I've tried on about five pairs and none of them are working very well for me. I get another pair, a different brand from the others, and put it on. I feel something wet near my knee, and I assume it's like the watery stuff that sometimes comes out, you know? \n\nNope. I take the pants off and the inside of the pants are covered in blood near the knee area. Luckily it didn't bleed through to the outside, but I was still mortified. Didn't tell anyone, and I feel bad for the poor person who buys those pants... Not that bad of a FU, but again, I was mortified.", "summary": "I was an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow in the knee... and ruined a pair of pants."} {"id": "t3_2a3nsx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my Boyfriend [26M] of over 2 years are discussing moving in together. Anxiety and Doubts. Wanting an outside opinion.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been in a committed relationship for just over 2 years. He is honestly one of the best people I know; very considerate, hard worker, goal-setter, funny, etc. We get along great. \n\nIn January of this year, I woke up suddenly to the fear that I don't love him, completely out of the blue. I never thought that before, no incident happened, no abuse, nothing that would bring up that doubt. Since then I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My doctor believes this is an anxiety disorder that has pitched itself on my relationship. \n\nI cannot stop these thoughts. Even when I'm feeling good, the fear of the thoughts intrude my good mood and bring me down again. Basically, I'm terrified most of the time that this doubt is real, even though I don't want it to be. More than anything I want this to work, but it's like my mind will not let me be content. It has really affected my general behaviour, as well as my relationship, as most of the time I feel guilt for not being able to \"feel\" the love like I used to, even though I'm sure it's there. I think I would be lost without him.\n\nSkip ahead to two days ago, we started discussing us moving in together. This is not the first time it's been brought up, but it is the more serious of the conversations we've had. The thing is, I'm scared. I'm scared of a financial commitment, I'm afraid that I'm lying to myself (even though I tell myself on a daily basis that it's the anxiety speaking). \n\nI should also that this is the first long-term relationship I've been in, so I really don't know how you're supposed to feel in a long-term relationship. \n\nSo, Lovers of reddit, I guess I'm asking if this is normal, or if anyone has experience with a situation with this. If there is one thing I know, it's that I don't want to lose him, but I'm not sure how to navigate this.", "summary": "I have doubts about my LTR due to anxiety and am unsure if I should commit to moving in together. What's your opinion?"} {"id": "t3_2p23p0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My ex [18F] texted me [17M] and my girlfriend [17F] saw. Now she's suspicious and sending me one word/ letter texts. What can I do to assure her that she's doesn't have anything to worry about?", "post": "The conversation between my ex and I was just a friendly exchange. She told me that a girl on her volleyball team asked her if she knew who I was. We sent a couple texts back and forth, then we ended up talking about how things are going and it was just nice to talk to her. \n\n Now for the part about me messing up. I took a screenshot of my messages, showing my girlfriend's contact name because I put some hearts next to it.. Yes I know such cheesy typical high school shit. But she saw that my ex had texted me and started to sound annoyed with me. Now, don't get me wrong here, she has a Right to be suspicious. But after I told her how the conversation between my ex and I started. She starts sending me 'K'.. and all those great one letter/ word responses. \n\n After we talked about our conversation, I also brought up my band. This is really all leading up to how she sent me off tonight, with one great text. Anyways, I told her that the guys thought we were practicing tomorrow, but we scheduled a date after school. So she kept saying oh if you want to practice I'm totally okay with that. But I'm thinking, let's not play this game. So I told her that I didn't want to practice and we already had plans so that's that. I thought it was all fine and she was over the ex girlfriend thing but then she sent this: \"Between the band thing and your ex... I think I'll sleep now. Night.\"\n\n So I'm asking, am I over thinking the text that my girlfriend sent? Or what should I do to prove to my girlfriend that she doesn't have anything to worry about? I'm sorry for brining this teenage bullshit to this sub but I feel like I really need help.", "summary": "My girlfriend saw that my ex texted me. Now she's sending me one word/ letter answers. What should I do to assure her that she doesn't have anything to worry about?"} {"id": "t3_3ec9n5", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [17/F] feel like I may need to choose between two guys [18/M] [18/M], but I don't know how soon or how to choose.", "post": "I've basically developed feelings for two guys that I'm friends with and they both have feelings for me as well. They both live about 30 minutes away with me so distance is actually an issue with both of them. Due to distance we haven't been to meet up much.\n\nGuy A and I hung out once about 3 weeks ago and everything went well and we even kissed. He told me he wasn't sure if he would be ready for a relationship but he could also see one in the future. He let me know he liked me though. Guy A is actually going to be going to college in a couple of months so he'll be living about an hour and a half away from me. We tend to joke around a lot but things tend to get sexual often.\n\nGuy B and I have been talking for about 2-3 months (so I've known him longer) now and he just let me know last night that he had feelings for me but didn't want to intervene between Guy A and I. We've had plans to meet up for a while now, it's just the distance factor that's messing it all up. Guy B tends to want to listen to my rants and he's also really supportive when it comes to my passions.\n\nWhen it comes to experience, Guy A has done everything while Guy B hasn't done anything. And I'm honestly fine with either.\n\nI talk to both guy A and guy B every day, and feel like I can talk about anything with either of them. Maybe I'm not at the point where I have to \"choose\" either really, but I kinda feel bad flirting with both of them. What do I do?", "summary": "I have feelings for two guys who both have feelings for me, not really sure what I do at this point. Both are great guys and I'd be lucky to be with either."} {"id": "t3_1shjgw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] with my first date [22 F], What happened?", "post": "So I had this great first date, where we had proper conversation, laughed, drank and ended it at her place.\n\nSince, I was only in city for the weekend I have been texting her and we scheduled a date when I am in the city again. Which would be soon, just waiting for my car to be fixed up. I even added her on FB, which is really rare for me.\n\nNow the problem is, I haven't heard from her in a week. Last text from her was on 4/12. Sent her a text on 5th and 8th. She also deleted me from FB.\nI understand this much attachment early on is not good but i want to know more about her and spend time together. She maybe looking for new job or just be busy for Christmas. Obviously if its something i did, i haven't figured it out cause the texts were just about how her day was etc.\n\nWhat are my options ladies?\n\n* Should I give her one more text on the birthday 11/12 and tell her how I feel and want to hear back from her? Sounds pretty desperate and push her away, but if you agree on this how should i approach it?\n\n* Leave her (which would be painful but hey that's life)\n\n* Get a second date ASAP (Could plan a trip to the city coming weekend)", "summary": "Went out on a first date, had sex, exchanged texts. Haven't heard back from a week. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1b9e2o", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Women of Reddit, how would you like someone to respond to you after expressing a complaint?", "post": "I will probably get downvoted to hell for the apparent misogyny in this post.\n\nI have found in my experience that when my male friends, family, and coworkers express a concern or a complaint about their life, family, workplace, health, whatsoever, they like to hear the listener express sympathy and offer a solution to the problem. \"Gee, that's a good idea. I'll try that, thanks.\" *I help problem solve their situation and we find a way to make things better for all involved.*\n\nI have found in my experience that when my female riends, family, and coworkers express a concern or a complaint about their life, family, workplace, health, whatsoever, they either dismiss an offer of a amelioratory suggestion or get outright offended at the proffered solution. It seems that women like to voice their complaints and have the listener respond with \"oh, I'm sorry to hear that\", or just a nod. *They don't want their situation to improve. They want to vocalize their concerns and be validated by someone who listens.", "summary": "What is the right phrase to use when a female friend complains to you about her boyfriend, her boss, her roommates, her parents, her phone, etc.?"} {"id": "t3_2ktgdy", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to \"secretly\" snap a pic of a man with a huge eyebrow in the bus", "post": "I really believe this is one of the most akward moments in my life.\nSo as i enter the line bus with my friends,as we do everyday to get home,we notice a guy with a HUGE eyebrow.Well I couldn't resist taking a picture and in the rush of taking the picture i forgot that i had the shutter sound and the flash on,so as i hit the volume button(iPhone),not only it sounded loud as fuck,but with the flash made some people turn around and look directly at me including the eyebrow guy.So here i am standing with my phone in my hands and people looking at me,my friends dying of laughter and then the eyebrow guy knew that i tried to sneak a pic of his huge eyebrow so he kept staring at me angry and after a lil while he angrily asked me to delete the photo.", "summary": "I tried to sneak a pic of a guy with a huge eyebrow,he understood me and he told me to delete the photo"} {"id": "t3_lgc1s", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what is the weirdest phone call you have ever received?", "post": "Mine happened about 45 minutes ago. A guy that I was stationed with in the Navy, in Hawaii, 7 years ago called me. I've kept the same cell phone number for the past ten years or so, so it's not completely crazy that someone would still have it. The first words out of his mouth were not \"Hey! How have you been?!\" but rather, \"Hey, uh, I was stationed with you, remember? Well, I need sixty dollars or I'm going to jail for six months.\" \n\n He then went on to tell me that he had been involved in a hit and run and leaving the scene, and that he was sixty dollars away from coming up with all of the cash that he needed for the fines.\n\nI'm a nice person and all, but geez, seven years and the first time you contact me is to tell me a sob story about going to jail! I should probably mention that he has a pretty bad Oxy habit that he started while he was in the Navy, and sounded ridiculously strung out on the phone. So, not to surprising I guess. \n\n I told him that I didn't have any money to lend him and he hung up quickly.", "summary": "A guy I was in the Navy with 7 years ago calls me and asks me to Western Union him $60 so he won't go to jail for a hit and run. When I told him nope, he hung up."} {"id": "t3_1b30t2", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "NSV: Had a bad day, until something surprising cheered me up.", "post": "Pardon my French, but today fucking sucked. I won't go into details but basically at the end of the day, I am left feeling dejected and unwanted. So I decided to head to bed early and as a complete routine action, I took my clothes off to get into my pajamas. I did so in front of the mirror, and all of a sudden I realized that I wasn't that upset anymore. Starring back at me was this girl with a HOT BOD - a feeling of joy and pride hit me. It reminded me that this was something good in my life, the fact that I am healthy and fit. \n\nLooking in the mirror never really had any bad effects on me, but it certainly never made me feel HAPPY. It is usually a routine part of my day that I fly through as if it didn't matter. Taking 5 minutes to look at my body in the mirror and admire my hard work over the last 6 months gave me an instant reason to live.", "summary": "Looked in a mirror, and all of a sudden realized how far I've come. Cheered me up from a bad day."} {"id": "t3_hkcfa", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What do you do when your dog bites you?", "post": "I adopted a six month old dog, I have had him for 3.5 months, and he's in the early stages of training. He has never shown food or toy aggression before, in fact I make it a point to wiggle my fingers in his food bowl or add a treat when he eats to curb just this situation. \n\nTonight he was chewing on a ball with a biscuit inside, nothing out of the ordinary. He had chewed off some bits of the ball and to make sure he didn't swallow them I reached to remove the rubber bits. That's when he snapped and bit. I have a pretty good bruise, but he didn't rip my flesh open. Considering the strength of his teeth I'd say I got off lightly. I admit reaching for a toy a dog is enjoying is a dicey business, but as I said before he has never shown toy/food aggression with me. \n\nThere was no warning growl, just the snap and bite. The boyfriend came out of the back room and much drama ensued with a total dog freak out (snarling, baring of teeth, growling) as he took the dog by the collar to the time out kennel. We kept the dog in the penalty box for fifteen minutes then calmly let him out, gave him some ice to chew on, gave him a few commands (sit, down, watch me) and praise. \n\nIs this an appropriate punishment? I'm wondering after this incident am I royally screwed and now he'll be toy/food aggressive from now on? I'd really love to hear other stories from reddit dog owners on how you guys have dealt with your own dog aggression issues.", "summary": "My dog bit me in a first time show of toy/food aggression, I gave him a time out, did I handle it correctly? Thoughts?"} {"id": "t3_2u5xdi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] 3 months together, can't tell how invested he is in the relationship", "post": "We both are full time grad students, and it is difficult to spend much time together during the week. I feel I try to be with him as much as possible, but I am not sure he is doing the same. The relationship is somewhat new, so I don't want to become all annoying and seem so needy. We were friends before we got together, so I know he is very private with his personal life and that he likes to have his own time. I am even suprised we got together at all considering how much he likes his independance. \nI fully trust him, he is very honest and I am in no way afraid he is interested in anyone else or that he is cheating or any of that. \nI like him so much, but I have no idea how he feels about me at this point. He says he misses me when I'm not around and he is great with me when we are together on the weekends, but I don't know. I'm just afraid I end up liking him too much or completely fall in love with him, and one day he just calls it quits. \nI had a long term relationship end terribly a year ago, and I would just hate having to go through it again.", "summary": "New reltionship; really like him, an dI'm afraid he might not be as invested as I am in the relationship. Should I wait to see what happens? is it too soon to worry about stuff?"} {"id": "t3_3b32qb", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [m/18] want to break up with my girlfriend[f/18] but there is one huge obstacle in the way.", "post": "So have been together for eight months and I still love her its just our time to end. This sucks I don't know what to do. Anyway there is a guy that I am sort of friends with but he is in my larger group of friends and he is in love with my GF. \n\nI think that if I break up with her HE is going to ask her out and she might say yes. This would devastate me I mean it would literally put me into a depression. Is there anyway I can ask her to not do this when we break up? \n\nI know this might sound messed up, but i do sincerely still love and care about her. Its just that the spark is gone and I am not sure what to do. \n\nWe are seniors in high school and were going to break up for college anyway.", "summary": "Want to break up with my girlfriend but concerned that she is going to start dating an semi-friend of mine and that would kill me. How do I ask her to not do that?"} {"id": "t3_4551vu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22M] attitude towards women makes it almost impossible to date. How do I change?", "post": "Before I get called a misyoginist let me give a bit of background. I was the nice kid in hs who was very trusting of others, waited a whole year to ask his crush out to get shut down. Many more things happened after that affected my hesitant attitudes in all things involving long term relationships. I was raised around mostly women and I am a very emotional guy.There was once a pattern of women constantly telling me \"you're too emotional\" which I have been working through. Now my issue is that I tend to dismiss anything positive about a girl I meet even if it seems as if we had a great time. I have become emotionally distant to the point of not caring a bit about women I have slept with for months. This is obviously not healthy and I want to take steps to change that. About 9 months ago I met a girl who was so amazing in my eyes. The best way I could describe it was that we discussed topics from history to culture for hours on the phone and it was some of the best times I have had. I usually get bored after a minute on the phone wih other girls and rather text. Anyway she ghosted me after a couple weeks without any reason.I know it could have been the way I acted in our last date since I was being very sexually suggestive even though she clearly expressed it was too early. The thing is I wanted something real with her but I was telling myself how she was not the best I could do physically and all those other things. How do I become a more respectful guy when it comes to dating? I sometimes act like a jerk and act careless while I know a part of me doesn't feel good about that behavior.", "summary": "I am emotionally distant towards women and force myself to see the negative in everything they do. How do I become more respectful towards women and improve my dating life?"} {"id": "t3_3e7ek3", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [23/M] suspect my GF [21/F] wants to break up with me. Help me find the words to say to prevent it.", "post": "I would never expect myself to post here without a throwaway, but here it goes.\n\nI've been with her for over 2 years now, and things have slowly been on the decline since I've had something traumatic happen to me that has made me fall into a pretty deep depression. Ever since, I've just been such a bummer. I started to nitpick her more and other stuff, and I didn't even notice it. Whatever emotions I was going through kind of made me think nothing of what I was doing. Things became a cycle of me doing shit, then me bottling it up when she calls me out on it, then me thinking it was actually her who's misunderstanding something. It becomes a terrible, bottled up, he-said she-said, and no problems get fixed.\n\nEssentially, I was becoming a selfish douche and I didn't see it. Up until last week (last time we talked in person), I was still blaming her for a lot of stuff still, thinking that what I've been doing isn't that bad at all. Right now, we're on a break, but we're supposed to see each other this weekend and see if something is still possible.\n\nAfter talking to various people about my faults, I've come to realize that I've been such a douche. I can understand why she would rather hang out with friends rather than me (Heck, I don't think I'd want to hang out with me with what I've heard). \n\nSure, I'd love to tell her all this like I've put it here, but the problem is the whole part about the cycle. We do have a lot of problems to sort out, and sometimes we do, but then things go back to the shitter. This cycle has happened a lot of times. Now that I understand a few more things, I feel like we can break the cycle now, but I need to tell her all this stuff in a way that would get her to possibly give me another chance (out of like 7 chances; this girl is a keeper).\n\nSo, how do I word this stuff in a way where I actually mean it this time?", "summary": "Depression made me a giant selfish douche, driving girlfriend away, help me put the right words together to keep her."} {"id": "t3_wl1w9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Unsure if I should try to advise my younger brother", "post": "Not sure if this is the right subreddit to post it in, I'll gladly move it if there's a better place.\n\nI'm 16M he's 12M, we don't see each other a lot because of school and sports so we aren't exactly close. He was in a 'relationship' a couple of months ago and apparently took it harshly when she broke up with him. Now recently he left his email logged in and his most recent mail was a conversation with his 'ex' and he was spouting some pretty over the top stuff like \"can't stand to be without you\" \"I'd do anything for you\" etc.\n\nSo I understand that he's being a stupid middle schooler and middle schoolers are stupid, its not like I wasn't like that and didn't regret stuff I said/did back in middle school hell even freshman year of high school. So part of me wants to just let him figure it out on his own and have some regrets but get through it.\n\nOn the other hand though, I was wondering if I should try to be a good big brother and give him some advice. I certainly would have appreciated some honest advice when I was in middle school, and I think it could help him out. So moral of the story I don't really know what to do.", "summary": "Little brother is being a dumb middle schooler, not sure if/how I should advise him or let him say dumb things and sort out his mistakes"} {"id": "t3_3wqzvw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "A romantic comedy come true: My (17/M) crush (17/F) likes my best friend (17/M).", "post": "Hey, I'm a 17 year old guy, what's new? I'm stuck in a stupidest mess right now, and my whole heart and mind hurts like crazy. \n\nRecently, I've been getting to know more and more about a girl (17) I've basically crushed on since I was 13. We were getting to know each other better and better, and we made fun of each other from time to time. Getting nearer and nearer to Christmas, I thought it'd be great to get her something. So I started chatting with her on Facebook, until late into 2am in the morning, when she told me about how she had feelings for someone. I, of course, being really curious, asked about it. I took me an hour before she was willing to tell me. Tell me the heart wrenching fact that she liked my best friend (also 17).\n\n Now, I was always curious about their relationship. They were close friends, closest two friends of opposite gender can be without being lovers. They went out together, snapped like crazy to each other (so many streaks), and all that jazz. At one point, even I thought they were cute together. However, when I found out that she liked my best friend, my heart sank. 6 months, she told me, that she felt this way for him. 6 months, I've been in the dark, thinking about ways we could get together. But all this time, her heart was with him. She seemed really torn, she didn't want to ruin their amazing friendship, and yet wanted to get together with him. She asked me to find out if he liked her or not. She said it was critical to find out if she should give up on this possible relationship, or go for it. This entire time too, before knowing what she was talking about, I gave her advice, suggesting to her to take the risk. I still really like her, and giving up on this is not really an option to me. What do I do reddit?", "summary": "Crush likes best friend, wants me to ask best friend if he likes her or not, and go on from there. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_1d94v7", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/m] I don't if i should approach the girl [21/f] I met in a party", "post": "So I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years about a month and a half ago, for several reasons. And after that i started going to the parties in my university to have fun and get over the loneliness that came after the breakup. This past friday I went to another party, and started dancing and chatting with a girl i've known for a couple of years (who i always thought was awesome, we've much in common) and we started dancing/drinking together, the more we danced, the closer we were getting from eachother, until at a certain point we started kissing, it felt weird, but nice. We kept on kissing and dancing intimately until her friend (who she had gone to the party with) said she was leaving, and with that this girl said she'd leave too, she grabbed my hand and I accompanied her and waited til she caught a taxi and left.\n\n After that I didn't feel like going back to the party, so i went back home. Once i was home she texted me to make sure I made back home alright, and we said good night to each other. That was the last time I talked to her so far.\n\nI haven't been able to get her out of my head since, and considered the possibility of us dating, I came to the conclusion that i want to try to make this happen. But I'm still a bit afraid that i'm feeling this because i'm not used to being alone, I told myself it wasn't the case, but i'm relatively inexperienced in relationships.\n\nSo at this point I want to know whether it's a good idea to contact her and tell her what i feel, or should I just continue to act like it never happened (very hard to, since she's a friend of my sister's, and this wasn't the first time we partied together). If possible i'd like to know how to approach a person in these circumstances.", "summary": "Hooked up with a girl I've known for years at a party, about a month after i ended my 3-year long relationship, need to know what to make of this"} {"id": "t3_2bvgwc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24M] with the girl from the play [??F]", "post": "My little brother was performing in a play last night so I went to go watch him perform. While there, there was a girl in the cast who was absolutely stunning. It was a pretty small community theater, so the seats were fairly close to the stage, and (this could be wishful thinking) she made eye contact with me and smiled. I smiled back.\n\nHowever, we weren't able to stay very long after the show as my little brother is only 9 and my mom needed to take him home to put him to bed, so I didn't get a chance to talk to her after the show (I was my mom and little brother's ride home). I got her name from the play bill that was passed out, and found her on facebook but I just want to make sure I'm not being a total creep by messaging her.\n\nAlso what the hell would I say? I've been trying to put myself out there (so to speak) more recently and don't want to shy away from talking to a girl that I think is cute, but I have also been single for a few years (gym, lawyer etc.) so don't really know if messaging her is kosher.", "summary": "Saw a cute girl at a play, want to message her on facebook, don't know if it's creepy or not."} {"id": "t3_1gk94t", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I am just pissed/sad that I can't play an instrument.", "post": "A quick thing about me, most stuff I pick up I can do and become really good at it, and soon, beat the people who taught me. I did this with auto mechanics, gaming, education, driving, just SO MANY things. However, for some DAMN reason I can not pick up and play an instrument. The guitar felt like a toy. My hands were all over the strings. Got pissed and went to bass. I was able to play a bit of it a heck of a lot better than guitar, enough to accurately walk the strings a bit. Still, I had a hard time being able to slap and pluck, so I got mad and dropped it. I wanted to learn the drums, but while practicing on household items I was not able to create seperate rythms with each limb, so it has put me off. I have always wanted to be able to do some form of art. Poetry and writing was difficult, I can not draw to save my life and music is all the same. Any advice would be great, I just want to be able to PLAY.", "summary": "I am shit at every instrument I have tried but still want to play something. Sad because I can not. Need advice or reccomendations."} {"id": "t3_3ltx7h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24M] am shorter than my girlfriend [22F] when she wears heels and she refuses to wear anything but heels.", "post": "Alright, so this is going to sound super petty but I think it looks weird when a girl is taller than the guy she's with. Normally it's never a problem for me. I'm 5'10\" and the girls I've dated always happened to be around 5'3\"-5'6\". This girl I'm dating now though, is 5'8\". It wasn't a problem when we first met because she was wearing flats and I was wearing boots, so I didn't even think about it.\n\nNow that we're dating, she constantly wants to wear heels anytime we go anywhere. Now she's towering over me and I hate it. When we first went out I didn't want to start off on the wrong foot so I didn't say anything except for just \"Wow. You're tall. Alrighty then.\" And now it's been two months and she's still doing it. I've spoken to her about it, saying that I hate how it makes us look and she keeps saying it's fine and that I'm being stupid for thinking it looks bad. What do.", "summary": "Girlfriend wears high heels. I don't like her being taller than me. I feel de-feeted. Looking for a sole-ution."} {"id": "t3_2eg8v2", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by taking an incriminating picture of myself as a prank", "post": "SO this happened a few weeks ago, like most other TIFU's. I went with some friends into one of my good friend's dorm. His roommate wasn't there, but his guitar was. I asked him if I could look at it, and he was cool with it, so I got it out. It was a nice guitar so I asked if I could take a picture with it so I had him take pictures while I posed. I took a few regular ones then decided, \"hey, I should send him a picture of me looking like I was going to smash his guitar, just for teh lolz\". That's where I screwed up. The picture went fine, sure, but I sent the roommate the wrong picture on accident. I meant to send him one with me looking like a rockstar...not smashing his guitar. He gets pissed and threatened to call the University Police on me if I'm ever in his dorm hall. Period. I'm currently doing my utmost to avoid him for the next few weeks so he doesn't attack me.", "summary": "I took my friend's roomate's guitar, took a picture looking like I was going to smash it, sent it to him by accident, and he proceeded to flip a shit like no other."} {"id": "t3_2oj90y", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[16/f] I am absolutely terrified of my boyfriend's (16/m) mother.", "post": "My boyfriend and I are 7 months strong now and have been massively in love since we started dating. The one thing I feel is putting a huge strain on us is that I absolutely refuse to go to his house and I'm not sure if I'd be welcome. His mom is not at all a loving parent to him, and she hasn't exactly been a gracious host to me.\n\nThe last time I went over was August. It was his birthday and he only had me over - the only present he got from his parents was a nice set of gaming headphones. This will be relevant in a moment. His 12 year old brother just wouldn't leave us alone, all we wanted to do was watch AHS and cuddle and make out a little bit. Brother goes downstairs and apparently cries to his mom, mom comes up and starts screaming at both of us because he comes and cries to her constantly since we don't want him up there with us. Never once had his brother or mom ever told us how upsetting this was to him. He never showed any signs of it either - just the typical 12 year old whining as he left.\n\nAfter she was done screaming, I was crying a little bit (can't stand being yelled at) and boyfriend was trying to console me. His mom took away his headphones as punishment and would have kept them for who knows how long, but his dad ended up putting them in his room for him later. Keep in mind this was his birthday. All he wanted was for us to hang out. No cake, no celebration, no expensive presents. \n\nAfter that, I had absolutely no desire to ever return to his house. I love him a lot, but his mother terrifies me and makes me incredibly anxious. He mostly comes over here if we don't go to see a movie or something (pretty much the only thing she'll allow, we aren't allowed to hang out in many places) which I'm surprised she's even still letting him do. She seemed to like me fine before this but I haven't seen or spoken to her in 4 months. Boyfriend doesn't mind me not going to his house, but I feel like it's unfair.", "summary": "bf's mom started screaming at us the last time I was over on bf's birthday because we upset his little brother and I haven't wanted to go back since."} {"id": "t3_2pxra7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by pretending like I was going to \"forcefully open the elevator\" at a black keys concert.", "post": "Ok. So I'm at a black keys concert. The elevator to the \"lounge\" Was the slowest goddamn elevator I've ever seen. After waiting a solid 5 minutes (this place is 4 stories tall) for the elevator, I \"pretend\" to open the doors by hand. As soon as I apply the slightest amount of pressure, the elevator reaches our floor. The \"force\" i applied caused the doors to open 2 inches. And that's it! They stay open juuust wide enough for the people to see which asshole did it. Fml. I'm standing there in disbelief. I push the up/down buttons in hopes that it would spark something in the elevator. Nope. Nothing. They BOTH lit up! I try to close the elevator doors. Negative ghostrider! Pattern is full. I resort to ACTUALLY trying to open the elevator by hand. And I gain another 4 inches. My wife is MORTIFIED. I feel like the biggest asshat. I can't recall a time I've felt so low. At this point I'm contemplating just leaving. Fuck it! These people don't know me, when all of a sudden the doors FLY open. A good 3-4 minutes of the people being stuck on the elevator created some pretty shitty, well deserved looks. I step into the elevator and hear the attendant say \"I'll ll have to tell them that just happened\"", "summary": "pretended to open an elevator by hand. Caused it to stall with about half a dozen people in it. Felt like a schmuck."} {"id": "t3_4bohqu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 F] with my ex [27 M] 6 months, he has dates lined up and I am broken hearted.", "post": "My ex and I dated for just under 6 months until he broke up with me because he had doubts about us and didn't feel in love. He was about to leave on a month and a half work trip and felt \"too guilty\" coming back at 7.5 months while feeling the same doubts. He told me to treat it like a break up even though he did possibly see potential for us getting back together in the future. But he thought it best if I was able to explore my dating options while he was away and we would see where his feelings were when he came back.\n\nWe've texted everyday while he was gone, with him telling me occasionally that he was really looking forward to seeing me when he gets back. He comes back this weekend and today he told me he has two okcupid dates lined up for the next week. I am devastated. He responded by telling me \"I know. I'm sorry. These things could end up being nothing and awkward. Just putting in a little effort.\"\n\nI want to be his friend, but I am very emotional about this news. I wanted to get back together more. I feel rejected all over again. I loved him and I wanted to figure things out with him, to focus on strengthening our connection. I don't know where to go from here", "summary": "I wanted to get back together and work on things, he is moving on and dating other people. I want to be friends, but I'm hurt. What now?"} {"id": "t3_48o6u6", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "25 y/o looking for advice if a career change is a smart idea", "post": "Hey! I'll give you the low down. I'm 26 years old and have worked in the construction trades since graduating high school. Due to personal circumstances I have lost the complete love and support of my family and friends. \nSo I need to move and restart. Trouble is I have gone on a large trip before my problems began and I'm broke. I currently have $400 in the bank and roughly $6000 in debt. \nThis is where I'm unsure, I have a job offer for a large corporate company in sales. They really want me. They claim there sales people make 3-5 sales a week with a $450 commission per sale. This is great money for me, but it's commission so it's not guaranteed that I'll make those sales. \nLike I say I have no choice I have to move and start over. Do I pursue this career change? Is it even possible in my current financial position? Of should I try and find work in the trades making less but potentially have more regular work.\nSorry long rant, I'm really not good at these decisions and especially now that I'm being forced into this.", "summary": "forces out of home. I have $400 and $6000 debt. Do I take well paying commission job (already offered me) or stick to what I know and try qnd find work?"} {"id": "t3_3u8yzw", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Unpaid Balance from 4-Year-Old Internet Acct Went to Collections; I Never Even Knew. Now What?", "post": "4 years ago, I moved out of state and closed out my various accounts (internet, power, water, etc.). To my knowledge, everything was paid off--particularly because everything was on auto-bill!\n\nHowever, by some \"luck,\" I've been enrolled in the ProtectMyID service after an unrelated data beach. Today it pinged me with an alert: a collections firm in Montana was seeking a debt from me. I called their listed number and learned they wanted $23 for an unpaid final bill from Comcast in 2011 at my old address.\n\nNow, figuring all that was straightened out years ago, I asked the collections agency guy to email me the details while I called Comcast. According to their rep, they do show a $13 unpaid final bill, but don't have access to actual account info (e.g., autopay, notices, etc.), and that they'll have to escalate to another team who won't call back for a week or so.\n\nIn the interim, I don't know what to do. I had mail forwarding service for six months after I moved to my new address, my phone number didn't change, and my email address didn't change. Nevermind that my autopay apparently didn't work at Comcast--how did they never even *attempt* to contact me over the course of 4 years!", "summary": "and Question: For some reason, my autopay didn't pay my final bill on an old cable account in 2011. They did not contact me in the interim. They sent me to collections this week."} {"id": "t3_5333ia", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "(GA/WI) Questions on Paternity/Contacting Biological Father", "post": "Hello all - I'll try to be brief.\n\nI live in Georgia. Thirteen years ago (when I was 17) I reached out to the man my mother has always stated is my biological father (I also happen to look identical to him...scary identical). His work address was readily findable online (I wanted to contact him at work, because I didn't want to jeopardize his existing family dynamic) and I wrote him a letter by certified mail, letting him know I existed and that there was a chance I could be his biological son (he resides in Wisconsin). I also sent pictures of myself to show him how it was fairly obvious from an aesthetic stand point that I was his. In response he called my mom (whose work information was also readily searchable online) to verify that she thought I was his. She said yes, and also made clear that I wasn't looking for money or anything just to let him know I exist. He ceded that I was probably his son, and they hung up. \n\nA few weeks later I received a letter in the mail from a law office stating that I was to no longer have any direct contact with the man I had written the letter to and that any future attempts at communication must go through the law office. I was upset. In my haste and hurt I threw away the letter, deciding then that I would never have a reason to reach out to him. \n\nNow I'm 30. I'm older and a little wiser and I'd like to try to reestablish that contact even if it is only through the lawyer (for medical history purposes, etc. etc.). \n\nMy question: I no longer have that law office's information. How would I go about reestablishing contact without legal repercussions? At this point, could I face legal consequences if I call his office and say \"what was that law office again?\"? I don't want to step on his toes, and I'm not trying to get sued - so I'd like to know if I could be held legally liable if I just shot him an email or called asking for the info for the law offices that previously sent a letter to me.", "summary": "if someone sends you a letter from their lawyer saying all future contact must go through said lawyer, but then you lose that lawyer'sinformation, what are your legal options to try to reestablish contact?"} {"id": "t3_4anqpg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my GF [23 F] 8 months, told my GF's best friends new BF that she made my GF cheat months ago, they are all mad", "post": "I'll be adding updated below. 8 months ago, I started dating my GF. A week after that, she went on a trip to Vegas that she had been planning for a year with her best friend.\n\nMy GF's best friend was single and slept with at least 2 or 3 guys from what I heard. My GF admitted to making out with 1 guy, likely trickle truth about 3 months after it happened. She explained that her best friend tried to get her to do more. After this holiday, the girls got in a fight and just made up and started talking last weekend.\n\nI met the best friends new BF last weekend. He was mad at her already that night. We talked about how the girls never got along after Vegas. When I brought it up, he was upset how his GF slept with random dudes \"who does that?! No self respect\" and I said that my GF made out with a guy while we are dating. He ended up yelling at his GF \"You made your best friend cheat on her BF?!\"\n\nSo the best friend is now mad at my GF and my GF is mad at me for \"bringing vegas up\". The 2 girls are almost twin personalities. I'm actually glad this blew up into a fight and they are both in trouble, they are getting exactly what should come to them. Cheating is never right. My GF is mad that I brought it up, almost like I cheated on her and I'm the wrong one.", "summary": "My GF's best friend's boyfriend is mad that his GF made my GF cheat on me. What should I be saying to calm the situation?"} {"id": "t3_dlogl", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How to do approach a random stranger with the intent of forming a friendship and/or relationship?", "post": "This sounds like a much more socially inept question than I hope it is, but I'm a bit at a loss here. Normally I think I do pretty well with making friends, asking girls out, etc, but I'm hitting a road block here. There's this girl in a class I have only once a week whom seems a lot like someone I would want to be friends with, and is pretty damn cute to boot, so I certainly wouldn't mind more either. \n\nThe problem is, the class doesn't really have any opportunities for socialization, so I'm a bit unsure how to just go up and strike up a conversation out of the blue. I want to approach her more in in a friendly way rather than asking out on a date, because honestly I'd be totally content to just have her in my life as a friend. I know she knows my name, which actually surprised me since I hadn't told her or ever really introduced myself and I don't know how she managed to figure it out. Hopefully that means she's taken an interest in me as well. So how the hell do I approach her under this context? I don't want to seem weird and like I'm trying too hard, but this is a short class that I don't have often, so wasting time wont work. We're both 20ish and in college (obviously).", "summary": "I've suddenly become totally socially inept and need to know how to strike up a conversation with a total stranger out of the blue."} {"id": "t3_cxen4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I think I'm ready to switch back to a Windows 7 laptop after switching to OSX 4 years ago. Thoughts?", "post": "So heres the lowdown:\n\nI own a 2006 15-inch Macbook pro. It survived four years of college and the abuse that entails wonderfully. However, It's age is starting to show and I will be starting a new job soon and think it's time to upgrade. I looked into the price of a new Macbook pro 15 inch with all the features I would want (500 gb HD, at least 4 but maybe more gigs of RAM) and it's like $2700.\n\nI bootcamped my mac and installed Windows 7, and it makes me think \"Hey, maybe I could save a whole bunch of money and get an even faster laptop!\" So with that thought, what are some windows machines that are comparable or better in terms of speed?\n\nThe last thing is design. The macbook pro is beautiful and works well. Are there any windows machines that can match that level of design and quality?\n\nNB: I will also use it for some gaming, so something that can play all the latest stuff is a big plus.", "summary": "Want a windows laptop that has a design as nice as a macbook pro, but is faster and cheaper. And can play SC2 with all the options on high =)"} {"id": "t3_1xo7y0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my unexpected breakup with my girlfriend [17F] of 5 months because of parents views", "post": "so I recently moved within the last year to a new location. I started my senior year and almost immediately hit it off with a girl I met shortly after. We got along perfectly and had so much in common and spent time together multiple times a week. We came to really trust each other after 5 months and started dating.\n\nThe problem with us dating though, is that she is a muslim and her family is very religious. I am not and her views never bothered me but because of the way things were we had to keep it a secret from everyone. It was great, we still spent time together, got physical and started getting closer and more into each other.\n\nThis all lasted a few months until one day her parents saw a message on her phone from me and found out about us. They made her break it off, of course, leaving me feeling completely heart broken. \n\nI felt that maybe I had no reason to worry and she must still like me right? Well, ever since then, she has become extremely distant painfully so taking into account how close we were and how abrupt everything ended. She never calls or texts and she keeps saying we're still friends and didn't want it to end, but everything feels very dead. I want to have some hope of salvaging this, hopefully by figuring something out but she seems like she suddenly stopped caring. \n\nI know for a fact she didn't lie (after hearing from her parents) but I wonder why could have gone wrong, and how do I make things okay again? It's a really painful and I'm getting very depressed ever since this incident happened and I'm worried about having no social life for the rest of the 6 months I will be living here. I just need help understanding how to approach this situation. She seems so happy and cheery and social and on top of the world whenever I see her in public, while I'm trying not to break down. Thanks for any advice!", "summary": "Girlfriend's muslim parents made us break up; girl becomes very distant after being very close. I want to fix things."} {"id": "t3_2f3b4t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (F16) suddenly lost all emotion for my boyfriend (M18)? Please help?", "post": "One day when I was at my boyfriend's house, we were getting really intimate when suddenly, BAM! All my emotions for him just suddenly went numb. It made me very upset. I don't know what to do. I went to school counselling for it, but they didn't help very much... This happened 4-3-14 and it hasn't really been the same since.\n\nI've been with him since 7-21-13. He and I have had a happy relationship, always working through everything. I just don't know how to handle this. I occasionally freak out when I think I have feelings for one of my friends. The feelings go away though. Yes, I have talked to him about it, but it's hard for him to understand what it is. I recently have been feeling some emotion towards him, which is good. It's just not like it was when we started dating, you know?\n\nDoes anyone know what I'm going through who can help? Did I just come out of the honeymoon phase? And I know I can't control my feelings, but I'd just like to know what happened with my emotions. Thanks to anyone who answers.", "summary": "Suddenly got numb feelings for my boyfriend, tried explaining how I felt, neither of us understand it, got really stressed about it, what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3619fd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of just over 2 years, insecure about my past experiences? Also a personal issue of mine?", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for just over 2 years now. Every once in a while, something about my past will come up and she'll start making claims about how I must have enjoyed everything I did during a depressive phase where I was pretty careless. She is a bit more conservative in ways, and was raised in a neighborhood where she didn't really have a chance to explore or even consider dating. She's always been a bit more responsible than all her peers.\n\nI had a bit of a depressive phase where I was quite alone and such and wanted to find a way out and slowly did. For some reason, all the things I did back then (persuing a girl and failing, girls having a \"crush\" on me, me writing crappy poetry for one of these girls, etc..) This spanned from 12 years ago until about 4 years ago when I finally started to go out of my comfort zone...as if that matters much. She also seems to be upset about how I lived in a very secluded area (small town) with a lot of people marrying right out of high school, where I clearly didn't fit in--possibly where some of my issues stemmed from in the first place, back then.\n\nThe main issue with myself in this situation, I think, is that I would rather forget about the past and focus on doing even better for myself and those in my life, while she is reminded of something about my past and gets upset about it and won't let it go. I can get pretty defensive about my past, because I don't want to be reminded and I don't want her to feel bad about it--but I end up defending myself as she makes it sound like I enjoyed those several years of me being extremely unhappy, and is jealous of it for some reason. She sees a therapist once a week, but refuses to bring this issue up even after admitting it is an issue. \n\nMe getting defensive about this can't be healthy either, and i'd like to get some perspective to this if I could.\n\nI'll clarify any of the above if necessary. I would just like some perspective.\n\nThank you!", "summary": "Girlfriend knows of some past stories from a depressed/careless time that I'd like to forget about and she gets jealous/upset about not having experienced the same \"fun\" times, not able to let it go."} {"id": "t3_11b7ap", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the worst fitness/nutrition advice you've ever been given?", "post": "I think the worst fitness advice I've ever heard came when I started trying to lose weight and get in shape. Every nutritionist says that the key to losing weight is to have fewer calories in than calories out, which is a perfectly logical notion. I didn't start hardcore calorie counting, but I did check the nutrition information when it was available. I was running late for work one morning, so I picked up a chicken sandwich and a single-serving bag of kettle chips at a gas station on my way in. As I was eating lunch, I noticed that the chips, despite being less than 1/3 the weight of the sandwich, had more calories, and the fat calories were almost triple that of the sandwich.\n\nUpon mentioning how annoying this was in passing on Facebook, a girl I know said, verbatim: \"Who cares anyway. *(sic)* The key to weight loss truly lies in increasing movement and heart rate. Do you see how much body builders or athletes eat???? How many calories a day they have?? Its insane!\"\n\nI facepalmed so hard I think I cured my carpal tunnel.", "summary": "I got told that it didn't matter how much I eat, as long as I exercise, because professional athletes and body builders eat tons and are still fit."} {"id": "t3_s6qk5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what are your most horrible/hilarious sex stories?", "post": "I'll go first.\n\nI was having sex with my ex boyfriend, missionary style, and we were getting really into it. My dog was asleep on the foot of the bed, but she usually paid no attention to us so we weren't concerned.\nThings just keep getting more heated and more heated when suddenly my ex yells \"OH, FUCK!!!\", and his cock went entirely limp inside of me. \n\"What?!\" I asked frantically, thinking he was having a heart attack.\n\"Your dog just licked my asshole!!!\"\n\nI couldn't stop laughing until I realized the condom had come off in me and we had to fish it out.", "summary": "Dog licked my partner's asshole during sex, his cock became floppy like an over-ripe banana and we lost the condom in my cavernous lady bits."} {"id": "t3_3y9f23", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28F] with my SO [29M] of 1 year, he doesn't want to spend NYE with me.", "post": "Hi Reddit, just looking for some advice here as I don't know whether I'm being irrational and stupid or whether how I'm feeling right now is normal! Also I created this account specifically to post - I'm normally just a lurker.\n\nSo a couple of days ago I find out that, despite previously telling me we would spend NYE together, my SO has made plans to celebrate in a different city. I was pretty upset about this - we both work a lot and its rare to have any time together so I really wanted us to spend the holiday with each other. He has said I am welcome to join him, but I won't know anyone at this party apart from him (he is going to an event at a venue of his that is closing down that evening). He also has a habit of wandering off at parties, which is usually not an issue as we have a lot of mutual friends but in this scenario I would most likely be stuck in a corner on my own.\n\nIt's not really about NYE itself; I have friends I can see, but I'm really disappointed and hurt that a) he doesn't seem to care as much about spending time with me as I do with him and b) that he won't recognise how upset I am about this. I know I'm going to resent him whether I go with him or stay here and that thought alone is making me miserable. I guess I just want to know if I'm overreacting or not? He says it isn't about him not wanting to see me for NYE but to me it certainly feels that way. I'm so upset I can't sleep :(", "summary": "SO is spending NYE in a different city, doesn't understand that I am upset because I wanted to spend the holiday with him."} {"id": "t3_151kgw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what do you know about Domestic violence and immigration? I'm in urgent need of help.", "post": "Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this but I'm hoping to get as much people as possible to see this and I believe it still fits with the rules on the sidebar. \n\nBasically I general advice or people I can contact to receive information about getting a family who is being abused by their step-father out of the house and taking safe haven into mine. Problem is, they have just come to America and therefore have a pending green card. The couple has just gotten married in the united states(although they lived together for several years in their home country) and the wife and her kids still have their green cards pending. \n\nThere's so many questions I have and I really want to get them out of that house after hearing the horror stories but I want to make sure that it doesn't jeopardize their chances of having a life in america.\n\nWe are consulting a lawyer this weekend but I was hoping someone could point me towards something beneficial before then.", "summary": "Need any information on helping a family who is being abused but can't escape due to the abuser being the only one with citizenship."} {"id": "t3_2s8cq4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I feel like she's being unfair, am I wrong?", "post": "So a brief little run down I(25/M) have been with my fiancee(F/23) for almost 6 years now, all of which we have lived here at my home with my mom(66) and my son, we had a child together last November, sweetest baby ever, anyway. She's upset cause she wants a place of her own and doesn't want to live with my mom anymore. I work with my mom and she's currently training me to take over her dog grooming business. My fiancee has no job at the moment, but is looking for a job in her field of study, she's a registered Nurses assistant. We can't move out for obvious reasons, so i proposed a deal to her, we stay here until I take over the business and she gets a job in nursing. \n\nShe's not happy here cause my mom does interfere with raising my son, and I've told her before to stop and she has tried, shes just a very persistent person. My fiancee has also said to me that I'm not romantic enough, she would like me to plan an entire day together and shit like that. Well about 5 days ago she left because she was angry over all this and told me she would be back today, she needed some time apart, which I understand everyone does right? Well today i told her if she's not coming home she needs to take the baby for the night cause I have to work in the morning, expecting her to say she will be home today, she said \"Yeah I guess so\". I lost it, I didn't flip out with anger, i was just more upset than anything, I miss her so much and I just want things back to the way they were.\n\nI had a nightcap planned for after the kids go to bed for a couple funny movies to watch and blah blah, well her response to that is, \"Oh, i expected more than that\". I just think she's being completely unreasonable and I am trying, I know I'm not a romantic guy but I'm really trying, any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated. If I missed anything please feel free to point anything out I'm willing to do anything to get what we had back....", "summary": "My fiancee is unhappy living with my mom, but she has no job and I'm being trained by my mom to take over a business. Also feel she doesn't appreciate things or anything I do isn't good enough for her."} {"id": "t3_1henu5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend[20m] told other girl we were on a break when we are not, girl sends me[18f] the texts and I don't know what to do. (Text pic inside)", "post": "I left for a trip to Ohio today and everything was swell. I was traveling and I get a text from a girl I know talks to my boyfriend a lot. She seemed kind of sketchy but my boyfriend assured me they were just friends even though I saw the flirty texts between them. \n\nI told him multiple times that I don't like that they text all the time because it seemed like something more, but he assured me nothing was going on. So anyway I get a text from her today asking if me and my boyfriend and I are on a break and I said of course not! Then she sends me this ( white is him, blue is her) \n\nI am dumbfounded. I knew he was being weird with this girl but I had no idea to this extent. He always deleted the texts they had, so I never knew. Her feelings are hurt, and mine are too. He's begging for my forgiveness saying that hell change and what not , but I don't know what to do. We've been together an entire year coming up next week, and he's giving me all kinda of excuses.", "summary": "boyfriend told other girl that we were on a break when we're not and invited her to a party, while I'm on vacation."} {"id": "t3_2djudj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[21M] don't know if I want to be with her[22F] but have things holding me back.", "post": "Hello everyone so I am a 21 year old guy currently living with my 20 year old girlfriend. We are sort of fresh. Only dating around 7 months. We also share a phone plan.\nAnyways now that you have a little back-story. It seems as if I only want to be together as to not go through the hardship of break up, 1: Emotional, crying, angry. 2: Don't have enough money to pay for rent and shit by myself. 3: She is on the lease so if she doesn't want to go she doesn't have to which would be even worse.\nI feel like I should be fooling around and getting out there for myself. I do have feelings for her but I just feel like there's more.\n\nI feel like I shouldn't feel MARRIED. I can't hang out with friends, I can't talk to anyone outside of my gender, I can't have friends over that she doesn't approve of, She gets pissed if I even jerk off.\n\nI'm just nervous that if I end it that I will regret it and come crawling back. I'm very stressed about this issue because if we break up, she has no where to go, which I know I shouldn't care about but it's something to think about. What about her phone?\n\nI'm just in a bad situation. Girls are texting me wanting to spend the night and play video games and drink, chill but I can't because of...yeah.\nI just need some insight...", "summary": "Don't know if I want to be with GF anymore because I want to experience other women and life but don't have anyone to split bills with and don't want to go through a painful experience."} {"id": "t3_2qf77a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] feels weird dating other people after a breakup of 2.5 years.", "post": "So i have this feeling that is a little strange after our breakup. A little back story, the relationship was about 2.5 years and it felt like we clicked very well and did a lot of things together. Never really had any arguments or anything like that. It seemed like a really good relationship, we supported each other and made each other better and all that wholesome stuff. She was my first long term girlfriend that really did anything with me and it felt good to be with her. She wanted to see who else was out there in terms of guys so that was the reason for the breakup. I have not really contacted her at all besides her texting me to catch up a bit. Things ended about 2 months ago by the way.\n\nAlright so on to what i am feeling, so i feel like i am still kind of dating her even though we are not talking besides a hello once or twice a month. I feel like i have to ask for permission from her to date other people even though i know that i don't and she is dating someone else already as well. I just can't really shake that feeling that i am suppose to be with her still and it just feels kind of wrong in a way to actually date and do other things with a different girl. I feel like i am cheating but i know that i am not since we are split up. I have been doing lots of things by myself as well like a job change and school and working on myself as well. Does anyone else have this feeling after a long term relationship and maybe how to get over that feeling? Just hard to grasp what to do in this situation. Thanks", "summary": "Broke up with GF (for sure over), feel like i am cheating even though i am not because we are broken up, suggestions to get over this feeling."} {"id": "t3_1nd5qh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I(19m) being unfair to my girlfriend and asking too much from her (19f)?", "post": "Okay so I've been in a long distance relationship for about a month now. This girl has talked to me through some stuff and I think she really cares about me. She told me that she was falling for me and it was scaring her. Now she came up this weekend to see me and her friend for her friends birthday friday and she ended up spending three nights with me and tonight she is spending it with her friend. Last night I spent the night taking care of her because she was vomiting from drinking to much. Tonight there was a party and the whole time she was kind of pushing me away because she thought I was doing too much pda. I got a little too drunk myself and she drove me back home, but I texted her saying about how alone I'm feeling right now and she'd rather be with her friend. I feel selfish because I know she should see her friend, but it's hard being with someone straight for three days and then being alone all of a sudden. Am I asking to much from her or is it understandable?", "summary": "I don't get to see my girlfriend often, and I really needed her tonight but she wasn't exactly there for me."} {"id": "t3_2npeto", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "why does my dog randomly freak out during walks?", "post": "We are still working on walking, but he's gotten so much better. Only pulls about 15-20% of the time, normally when there is another dog/squirrel/animal/poop whatever. \n\nHOWEVER sometimes he will just randomly freak the hell out. He will bite and grab the leash, growl, and tug and pull like a crazed maniac. Normally saying \"no\" about anything else will get him to stop and at least look at me. Not when he's doing this. He's completely non-responsive and won't even settle down for treats. Jumping all over the place and growling. \n\nWhat do I do when he does this!? I know pulling probably doesn't make it any better but I don't know what else to do. I normally stand there in one spot saying \"no\". He's never bitten me during this but it could easily happen. \n\nIt happened today and I could not get him to stop or let go of the leash. He's a 60 pit/boxer mix and strong as hell. Finally I had enough and grabbed his harness and pulled him up into a position where he couldn't move and repeatedly said no, then put him on the shortest leash grip possible and went the fuck home. \n\nI tried playing \"tug of war\" with him once about a month ago but he growled during that and I haven't done it since, because I don't want to encourage that behavior. \n\nDo you think he's just playing? What is the best way to stop this? I already treat him when he's being good and calm but I have no idea what triggers it! Two times I can remember it has happened in a field and in a park, so two big open spaces. I guess I just need to avoid open areas? \n\n***he's also only 8 months old", "summary": "Dog will freak out during walks and bite/tug on the leash while growling. What's his problem? How to avoid?"} {"id": "t3_13yug9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, my sister is 23 and pregnant with her second child. She's six weeks along with a guy she's been with for two months. I don't think she should carry to term. What things should you feel horrible for feeling, but don't?", "post": "My sister has a daughter who recently turned three. She had this child with a married man, and he has never seen my niece. My parents are the one who support my niece. \n\nMy parents are young (42 and 49), so it's not an age issue. The problem is that my sister takes absolutely no responsibility for her daughter. Her money goes towards herself, or whatever guy she is seeing at the time. My sister lives with my parents, and her room smells of spoiled milk, and boxes and trash are piled almost to the ceiling. \n\nThe entire house has been like this ever since my younger sister and I have gone off to college, as we are no longer home to take care of the housework while my mother takes care of my niece. When my sister comes home from work, she will immediately go out, not coming home until one in the morning, long after her daughter has gone to bed.\n\nMy older sister has always been very messy, and refuses to help with any housework. Now that she is pregnant again, I can only see this getting worse. My niece can't even sleep in her own bed or her mother's, as both are filled with stuff from all over the house. My dad leaves for work at 5:30 in the morning, and doesn't return until around 7:30/8:00.\n\nThe baby daddy is her age, but he is very child-like, and thinks it's easy to raise a child, and that working a part-time job will take care of everything.\n\nMy parents have raised their own children for over twenty years, they were excited to finally have time to themselves, but are now having to raise two more children for another 18 years. I think it's selfish of my sister to make my parents raise her current child, and for her to expect them to raise her upcoming child.\n\nI do not want her to carry this baby to term, and I don't feel bad for having this belief. My parents do not deserve to raise their grandchildren and be responsible for my sisters mistakes.", "summary": "My sister has a child she puts off to my parents, and is now having another one and will do just the same. I don't think she should carry the baby to term."} {"id": "t3_1c8sf8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Can you be in an amazing relationship with someone but not trust them 100%?", "post": "I (f23) love my boyfriend (f22) and we have been dating since highschool. We have a great relationship, very compatible, great communication. \n\nBut for whatever reason, I cannot trust him that he won't cheat on me.\n\nNow, before jumping down my throat, I know this is a very warped view of things. I don't know why I think this: logically, it makes no sense. I am a confident lady, so I know it's not some back-up defense mechanism for my insecurities. I know him awful well to know that his morals go against every thought of cheating. Not to mention I know he loves me an awful lot and wouldn't want to ruin anything we have.\n\nDespite these things, I still keep caution. I'm not sure if it's rational, but I think of it as a human error that people can potentially make, whether they love a person a whole lot or not. I've seen that scenario occur way too many times. \n\nNow, I understand the notion of, \"you can't have a good relationship without trust\" but we have a perfect relationship in any other way. I haven't even told him that I don't trust him because well... that just sounds terrible. But whenever he hangs out with a lady friend late at night, or if there is alcohol involved... I tread with caution. I don't want him to cheat, but I feel vulnerable when I know he is a situation where he definitely could and it could jeopardize everything we've built together. It's not an insecurity thing, because I firmly believe he is more attracted to me than his lady friends, but impulses can be made.\n\nI don't know what I'm trying to get across: is this a shitty view? I have faith in him not to cheat but I'm afraid of temptations he might be put in. Does this view make me a bad girlfriend? How do I even start having this conversation with him, without making him angry?\n\nLet me have it, I suppose. I need some good advice and perspectives that I haven't heard before.", "summary": "I don't trust my boyfriend to not cheat on me. It's not based off insecurities but rather I just think its part of human error. Not sure if this makes me a bad girlfriend?"} {"id": "t3_3gfirj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24F] BF [26M] has been posting his friends bikini pics in NSFW subs. Am I right to be creeped out?", "post": "I'm normally very open with our relationship...jerk off to porn all day, jerk of to scantily clad pics of your college crush. IDC, I would be a hypocrite if I told him not to. We've been together for three years I didn't expect this to bother me. Something about saving these pictures and posting them on reddit crosses a line though.\n\n1. The jealousy. I'm a little jealous that he thinks about this chick enough to post her photos on another website for people to jerk of too. He already fb creeps on her all the time...this too?\n\n2. The lack of respect he is showing for this girl. It's not like she's some random hot girl he found a picture of, this is someone he's known for a few years, maybe they even hooked up. It seems like some immature desperate reaching for some power over her.", "summary": "RN I'm pretty creeped out by my bf but probably won't mention anything unless it becomes a habit. Am I being too sensitive?"} {"id": "t3_3mv73a", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Call me worthless? Let's see how much your dignity's worth, eh?", "post": "This happened a while ago. Now, I was \"hanging out\" (read: being repeatedly cut off and talked over and all that jazz) with my friends, in between classes N all that, and I find an opportunity to actually chime in to the topic when one of my friends, let's call him \"Asshole\", shuts me down and says something along the lines of \"Shut up, no one gives a shit about you.\"\n\n \n Now, he knows that it really, *really*, pisses me off when I am knowingly ignored (for no reason, mind you), but I decide to stay quiet until we get back to class. Now lucky for me, Asshole sits in the front row, also right in front of me, so I get my bottle and pour some water into his seat, enough so it'd be unnoticeable if you're not paying attention, but also enough to stain his pants. The teacher walks in, and we sit down when Asshole suddenly jumps up from his seat, his wet ass shown to the public, and quietly goes to the bathroom to pick up some toilet paper so he could wipe the chair for any water left. As he's checking the chair for any more goodies, we make eye contact. He knows it's me but he doesn't make a fuss. Petty revenge achieved.", "summary": "Asshole friend tells me to shut up cos I'm worthless. I soak his pants in front of class and the teacher. "} {"id": "t3_28q5hg", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20M] My [20F] girlfriend has been texting an ex who made quite a few intense advances, I don't have a clue what to do.", "post": "Hey, feeling confused, kinda betrayed and just generally shit. I don't snoop much but I was just fucking about on my girlfriend's phone and wondered what was up, I saw that she'd been texting someone who was apparently an ex.\n\nShe was confiding quite a lot in him which felt odd, as I looked back I kept feeling sicker and sicker, I saw that he had been making lots of overtly sexual comments and eventually tried to initiate sexting, she rebuffed him but apologised for doing so. They said goodnight but it seems like they're going to continue their friendship. I know I shouldn't have snooped but I don't know what to do, she's away, and I don't trust this guy even slightly now, I understand being friends with an ex, though I don't personally keep in touch with mine, but this is all too much.\n\nI feel shitty for snooping, but I just don't know what to do about it, I can barely eat and I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. Please help me dudes. I'm at a loss.", "summary": "I'm a dick, I snoop, GF recieves sexting advances via text but apologises for not being able to follow through with them, feel betrayed and generally shitty"} {"id": "t3_39qwib", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU Twice", "post": "These FU's actually happened today. Fu 1:\n\nI'm working out in the garage and I eventually end up using my punching bag. So I use it for about 10 minutes before heading out. So I take off the gloves but for some reason still unknown to me I try to hit the bag throwing an overhand right. My knuckle hits a nearby bookcase, the pain is very intense and I know now that I broke my knuckles.\n\nFU 2: Due to my Fu I ended up in a hospital waiting room. To pass the time I was listening to a podcast called PKA (r/PKA to check it out) and this show is definitely R rated. This week their sponsor was a robot blowjob machine and they were talking about this. But it wasn't enough for just me to hear this because I had to share it with the world . I dropped my phone and my headphones fell out as one of the hosts was talking about something along the lines of how much he 'loves to f*** his robot p***' . Safe to say that got me some odd looks.\n\nManaged to squeeze two FU's in one day . Not my best life achievement", "summary": "Punched a bookcase, broke my knuckle. Dropped my phone in the waiting room, earned me some odd looks."} {"id": "t3_2x7b4p", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by wanting my SO to brush his teeth with Oreo cream.", "post": "So this happened in the morning and i'm STILL gagging. Alright a little background: my SO and i have a thing where we'd prank each other. Small ones, nothing too harmful.\n\nYesterday after procuring a huge value pack carton of double-stuffed Oreos (thinking it could last me half a year), i decided instead on wasting it for some good clean fun.\n\nWe've all seen those toothpaste replacing Oreo stuffing type pranks, but i wanted to mix it up a bit. Very gleefully, i started collecting half a toothpaste tube's worth of Oreo cream to stuff it in a half-emptied one. \n\nYeah okay midway through i realized it was pretty dumb, because it was to get a workable amount of Oreo cream for a (delicious) prank. Don't even get me started on the stuffing cream into tube process. At that point i realized it was not worth the effort for something that isn't even so much of a prank than a surprise treat. But whatever, the job was done at last.\n\nSo my SECOND mistake was getting smashed with him that night at a party and collapsing in bed. We both didn't even bother brushing our teeth. Shit. Alright usually my SO wakes before me. But nope, turned out i woke up first after a solid 8 hours, but still groggy from yesterday night.\n\nWoke up, forgot all about Oreos, did the whole wash up routine, SOMEWHERE my subconscious was screaming that the toothpaste consistency felt off. But nope, on my toothbrush the cream went.\n\nYou'd think the worst that could happen was that a mouthful of Oreos. Which can be pretty sweet first thing in the morning. But yeah, turns out ants love Oreos as much as we do. \n\nBy the time i'd smash the toothbrush into my mouth and did a couple of strokes before tasting and remembering my failed prank and whipped out the toothbrush, there was a fine ground paste of ants-infused Oreo cream all over it... AND INSIDE MY MOUTH.\n\nStill gagging.", "summary": "Wanted to prank SO by replacing toothpaste with Oreo, ended up murdering ants by grinding them against my teeth in an ocean of sweet cream."} {"id": "t3_4gooqv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [34M] with my girlfriend [31F] of 2 months. She's pregnant and wants us to keep the baby.", "post": "Met my girlfriend on OKCupid in February and had our first date on 25th February. Things then moved really fast and with me staying at her place 5 night out of 7 most weeks. \n\nWe became so comfortable so quickly, that she gave me a key before 6 weeks had passed, though she later admitted she mistakingly thought we had been dating much longer.\n\nYesterday she was very quiet and appeared to be visibly worried and holding something in. After a little questioning she finally admitted she was pregnant.\n\nNeither of us are religious, and I don't believe that life begins at conception, so my first instinct was that we should probably abort this unplanned pregnancy; however, it is her body and I felt the choice was predominantly hers to make, so told her I would fully support what ever decision she made. \n\nShe has decided she wants to keep the baby and I'm trying to act really supportive and reassure her that everything will be okay, but inside I'm petrified and suddenly feel very trapped.\n\nShe went to the doctor today who confirmed she's around 4 weeks, and scheduled a 12 week scan. She doesn't want us to tell anyone until 12 weeks as due to an existing medical condition there is a slightly higher than normal chance of miscarriage; however, I could really do with some advice/reassurance so I'm turning to you guys instead. \n\nI really don't feel ready for any of this and also really worried this situation will make me resent my girlfriend and ruin our relationship. At the same time I was raised by a single mother and always vowed to never be an absentee father. I'm so confused right now, but trying to act calm for her and be reassuring, but can tell she's worried about me and the situation we found ourselves in.\n\nHelp!", "summary": "Found out girlfriend of 2 months accidentally became pregnant around one month after we first met. She wants to keep the baby, and I'm secretly freaked out whilst trying to act supportive."} {"id": "t3_2w2buj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Don't know if I [22M] should continue relationship with my Ex [21F]", "post": "So I'll just give a little background to help understand the situation now.\nThis girl, my ex, [21F] was my first girlfriend from high school, lost my virginity to her, spent 3 years as really good friends from junior year to after high school. After high school she was having personal issues and decided to move out of her house and away from her family. About a month after she moved away she got pregnant from some older guy, late 20s I think. I was broken and stopped talking to her for about a year.\n\nFast forward to recently, shes actually a single mom now and the father has been long gone for awhile. She's had another relationship that's come and gone within a few months. Well, on my birthday she starts talking to me through Facebook and we catch up a little. The messages turn into texts and calls about the good days before she moved away and how she misses me and everything.\n\nI've really matured since I last saw her 2-3 years ago and have no hard feelings but I also don't love her like I did in high school because I've met many other girls and experienced more. I told her this early before we started talking more that I don't want any relationships I'm just looking to have fun and enjoy life and if she still wanted to talk to me she can. She didn't take it too well, but the next day she seemed to get over it and decided I was still worth talking to I guess.\n\nEven more recently, she just invited me up to stay a few nights with her and I said OK. After she invited me though she started asking what I thought about marrying her in the future!! I totally deflected the question and didnt give a straight answer because I know there is no way I would marry this girl now after what shes done to me in the past and we barely even started talking again a month ago. She's a really attractive girl and I'm still attracted to her, and she and I both know what's going to happen if I go up there, but I don't think she understands what I said in the beginning about no relationships. I'm confused now what to do with this whole thing..", "summary": "My ex [21F] from high school that has a kid now wants me to come up for a weekend. I said yes and then she started asking what I thought about her as a future wife?!"} {"id": "t3_2njm6a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[24M] Things may be getting serious with this [20F] girl. I need advice for telling her about my cold sores.", "post": "So this girl and I have been hanging out a lot recently. After a few weeks of hanging out and one actual date (which didn't end in a kiss), we've begun to show signs of liking each other, e.g. holding hands, arms around each other, and...a few kisses.\n\nI should preface this by saying I know the ideal time to tell a partner about oral herpes is before any of this happens. The only reason I haven't done it yet is because all our displays of affection have happened organically and in the moment. We haven't even really discussed our relationship it all. We just sort of *are* this way when we're around each other.\n\nAt this point, I know I want to be exclusive with this girl, and I'm fairly sure she feels the same way. I need to tell her about my cold sores though, and I want to do it the next time I see her.\n\nThe only problem is our next planned thing is a study date. We're both very focused students, and talking about relationships and herpes doesn't seem to fit into that context. However, I really don't want to wait any longer to have this discussion.\n\nSo here are the options I've considered, and I'd love for some feedback and suggestions on which to choose:\n\n* Bring it up out of the blue.\n\n* Try to direct conversation toward relationships, somehow mention that I have oral herpes.\n\n* Do one of the first two options, but wait until after finals when we go on our next date.\n\nThe actual discussion isn't too worrisome to me. I've told previous girlfriends about it, but I can't really remember how I managed to bring it up.", "summary": "Had a few in-the-moment kisses, but haven't had the opportunity to discuss my oral herpes. Do I bring it up randomly, or direct conversation toward it?"} {"id": "t3_kqq2u", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, how would you costume a 19th century Fisherman, \u00e0 la Captain Nemo?", "post": "I'm putting together a pretty good costume idea for Halloween this year that involves a not-so-period-perfect 1850's fisherman. I've done some research and I've decided to stray away from the actual period clothing. Its difficult to find leather shoes and britches- petticoat or otherwise. \n\nHere's what I'm planning on:\n\n- Wool coat, preferably a pea coat\n- Thigh waders\n- Turtleneck\n- Stocking cap\n- slacks, thick cotton\n- worn wooden tobacco pipe\n\nTake in to account I don't have any of these items on hand and I'm working with a reasonable budget. From that list, do you think its possible to convey a \"swarthy fisherman persona\"? Is there something you would do differently?\n\nIts rare that I would put this much advanced planning in to costume but I've had the idea all year.", "summary": "From the list above, could I pull of a quasi historical fisherman's costume? What would you add, do differently?"} {"id": "t3_4ihyj2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [32 M], ugly and single, I'm obsessed with dating beautiful women and that's severely diminishing my opportunities for having a relationship", "post": "I'm ugly (I'm not here to discuss that, that's something I accepted during my late teen years and has been confirmed by multiple people). I'm mostly socially functioning but since I have SAD, I'm a little awkward when I'm dating. Also, I'm nerdy. For some reason, I'm obsessed with dating women that are beautiful, obviously that has diminished my chances for having a relationship. \n\nI worked on my anxiety early in my 20s until now, with therapy and medication for a little while and somewhat I managed to date women, I had a lot of ONS and casual sex encounters in FWB fashion. I had only one long lasting relationship (it wasn't really long lasting, only long lasting for my standards, it lasted 1.5 years and it ended because she was not mentally stable). The price I pay for dating those women is that while they're beautiful, they're not very intellectually stimulating and/or they have mental issues. \n\nTo be honest, I always found all the energy that you have to invest in having a relationship too demanding, but lastly I've been feeling empty. I want to connect with someone at an emotional and intellectual level. I've been programmed by society to like only beautiful women, and I want it stop. The only thing that would be a real deal breaker would be obesity, but besides that I want to put personality, intellect and emotional bonding first. I want to date ugly people.\n\nAre there exercises or practices that I can apply to desensitize myself about ugliness? How can I re-program myself about changing my priorities about women and dating?", "summary": "I'm ugly and always cared about dating only beautiful women and that lowered considerably my chances of having a relationship. I want to date ugly women and I don't know how!"} {"id": "t3_4sjvba", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I, M[17], am always comparing myself to F[17] whom with I cheat on my girlfriend with a year ago", "post": "This is a weird situation. []\n\nSo me [M17] and my girlfriend [F17] have been going out for a year and 6 months now. We have always been happy together and well suited and the only major hitch we ever had is that I slept with another girl last summer (please let me explain as this situation needs serious contextualisation)...\n\nSummer 2014 aged 15 I met a girl (lets call her Anna) the same age as me. Anna and I got off every now and again and eventually we went out for maybe 5 or 6 months.\n\nWinter 2014 everything was becoming too much and so to get out of the relationship I had sex with another girl who was one year above me (she was 17 I think at this point). Anna is now out of the picture as far as I am concerned\n\nSpring 2015 I asked out my current girlfriend (both of us aged 16) and things were very good for both of us.\n\nSummer 2015 my girlfriend went on holiday. I went to a party and got completely shitfaced and ended up sleeping with Anna (likely to get back at me for cheating on her). Went on a break with girlfriend and had to work very hard to get her back.\n\nSummer 2015-Present: Anna now goes to my school and is in my biology class. She is a girl who goes out a lot and does a lot of drugs, she has slowly but surely slipped further and further behind as I excelled as one of the best in the class. She too has a boyfriend in the same year (17) however I think that he is far too good for her and that is what has gotten me thinking about how often I compare myself to her.\n\nIn conclusion: why is it that I compare this girl to myself and constantly want to be better than her? My girlfriend notices it also and finds it weird and so do I.\n\nAny help would be massively appreciated.", "summary": "M(17) always in competition to be better than the girl F[17] I cheat with on my current girlfriend one year ago."} {"id": "t3_4a3b6z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] of two years, losing virginity?", "post": "Throwaway for obvious reasons.\n\nMy boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years. We met in high school and are each other's first everything: date, kiss, relationship, etc. Unfortunately due to long-distance (we went to different colleges after hs graduation) and a few other factors, I'm feeling it's time to bring the relationship to an end. I do still very much love and care for him, but it just isn't built to last. I'm waiting until the next time we see each other (in a few weeks) to break it off (because I think it's better to do it in person).\n\nThe issue is this: we are both still virgins in the PIV sense, and though the relationship will be ending soon, I want to and am ready to lose my virginity. So I want to do it with someone I trust/someone who knows my body well. Is it okay to ask this of him? And if so, when should I bring it up? I don't want to simply have sex and then tell him it's over, because that would feel like I'm using him (and I don't think we'll have the opportunity in such a short amount of time anyway). But I don't know if he'll understand my intentions after the fact - meaning I don't want to wait years before finding someone else I'll feel comfortable enough to have sex with, but I don't know if in the time after we break up, it'll be safe to have sex without him thinking there's a possibility of relationship. \n\nMy reasoning is purely \"you are an extremely good friend of mine and we both know each other's bodies well enough that I think it will be healthy and beneficial for us to experience this event together before going out into the adult world alone.\" He's already expressed before in conversation that if we ever separated, he'd want to remain friends. At the same time, I'm not sure how he'd react to my suggestion. Knowing him as well as I do, he'd probably think it's a good idea, but I don't want to accidentally hurt him. So, advice?", "summary": "Breaking up with boyfriend but still want to lose my virginity to him. Not sure if/how I should bring it up."} {"id": "t3_3ctd5r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Did she [25F] really love me [25M] ??", "post": "We were best friends for many many years. Recently, she came to my town to attend a month long course. We hang out almost everyday. \n\nAs time passed by, our boundaries may have passed. We went to parks, movies, museums together. We started to hold hands while walking in the park. We hugged each other often. We had great moments. Sometimes, she would even call me \"honey\".\n\nFinally, we went for a clubbing night as she insisted since she never been there before. In the heat of the moment, we kissed. That's where the problem started.\n\nI freaked out and might have said that I didn't want to get things serious. (My stupidity of course). She took it hard. She went cold on me from that day onwards.\n\nA week later, she told me she is seeing someone else and we should be just friends. I freaked out and confessed to her that I have feelings for her. She said she might have feelings for me too but no longer due to what I had said. (Double mistake)\n\nDramas continued and I went No Contact. Today she posted on FB that she had lost a best friend and why people can't just stay as friends?\n\nThe worse thing is this new guy, shes seeing, was a friend of mine (a bastard to me now). Everything seems chaotic. She is going back to her home town in next two weeks or so and won't come back soon. Whats the point in seeing someone new anyway?", "summary": "Did she really love me? Does she still have feelings for me? Is this new guy shes seeing a rebound?"} {"id": "t3_3qbfwi", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by waiting my turn and being the asshole I am.", "post": "So this happened Throughout the day and just now.\n\nIt started this morning/begin afternoon when I took 7 euros from my family piggy bank. We are allowed to take money from it if we say it.\n\nSo I overslept cause I went to bed at like 5.30 am after watching the latest Walking Dead episode. So I woke up at like 12am, 3-4hours late for school. Before I left I took 7 euros from the piggy bank without saying so cause I didn't think about it.\n\nSo today was fine, I bought some cigarretes cause of the addict I am. Had a long school day, my day was great. Until I came home. So I came home to a full with rage, like literally. FULL WITH RAGE dad and mom, asking if I was the one taking the money. So I was like \"F*ck.\". They're mad. I better stay quiet and find out why and say I didn't. My brother also said he didn't. So after a long and full with anger discussion. My brother decided he didn't want to be a part from it anymore. I just kept my mouth shut waiting till it was my turn to say I was the one that took it. I was like almost saying I did it. But before I had the chance my brother and dad went into a physical fight. My dad was threatening to pack his stuff and leave. Cause he doesn't trust us anymore. He said he felt like he was our slave. \n\nSo yeah my brother left the house, keeping his head low. Taking a chill. I went upstairs with a fucking heartbeat of one thousand. My father went for a drive and my mother is sitting downstairs.\n\nI completely fucked this shit up. **I know that I should've said it earlier and all that stuff. You guys don't have to tell me I was a f*cking asshole in this situation(or whatever). I know I am.** Just thought sharing it for you guys, the ones that like reading fuckups.\n\nI'll probably come clean tomorrow after I got my funeral ready.", "summary": "I nicely waited my turn and right as I wanted to speak, my dad and brother got in a fight cause of a situation I caused.. I am an asshole..."} {"id": "t3_2g95md", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Probably will be nothing but I'm a little freaked.", "post": "I took River to the vet this afternoon for vomiting more than once this morning (about 5-6 times i think). Vet said she has tapeworms, prescribed her flea medication and tape worm medication and gave her a shot for nausea. She was still okay this morning even with the vomiting, but now since we've been back home she hasn't moved much, is drooling excessively from the mouth, won't eat, won't drink, and just kind of sits upright and stares into the blue until she gets tired and lays down curled up. I'm going to call tomorrow if the drooling doesn't stop. It's getting way out of hand. So much so that for her to stay inside I'm going to be wiping her mouth with a towel all night.", "summary": "any ideas why River might be drooling like this and being really lethargic after taking her to the vet for vomiting and tapeworms? She wasn't doing either of those things before the medication."} {"id": "t3_4kql83", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "[help] Breeder ghosted me, I don't know what to do! [x-post puppy 101]", "post": "Just looking for advice from you all. \nI have been carefully planning and choosing getting a golden retriever puppy for several months. We spoke to several breeders, but ended up going with one that we got personal recommendations for from people we know. \nShe has been nice, but admittedly slow to respond to emails thus far. She accepted our several hundred dollar deposit and said we were \"about the seventh\" deposit and she thought there would be about 10 puppies. I last spoke to her about 4 weeks ago. \nSo the puppies due date was Friday. I emailed her last Wednesday asking for an update now and/or when pups are born. We are majorly planning for this (ie requesting vacation from work etc) and need to know a. We are definitely getting a puppy and b. When we can take him/her home. \nSo, I have not gotten a response to my email, so I called her last night. No answer. Left a message. Still have not gotten an email or call back. \n\nShould I be freaking out? Do you think she's just busy? I'm seriously over here having palpitations over this. Am I being overly aggressive? This lady has my money and heart strings in her hand!", "summary": "breeder has several hundred dollar deposit. Pups due 4 days ago. No response by email or phone. What do I do??"} {"id": "t3_11rfcw", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Help seeking answers.", "post": "Ok, the story goes, we were dating and were in a semi-LDR for 2 years. Long distance during school, not so much when we were home for the summer/winter breaks. Last summer we, or at least I felt that our relationship was a strong as ever. Then we went back to school. A few short weeks later she calls out of no where and breaks up with me, for no reason other than \"I cant do this.\" It destroyed me. For the last 3 weeks Ive been a mess and I feel like I need a real answer. But how can I just contact her out of the blue and demand answers without being a total jackass. Is it even possible?", "summary": "Was in a LDR-type thing for two years, she calls out of the blue and breaks with with no real reason. How can I find out why?"} {"id": "t3_zhljz", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Is this friend zoned? Possible second chance? [M19][F19]", "post": "I'm going to keep it short and summarize. So I can get to the main point. We've been friends for about 2 years. So about February I told this girl how I really felt about her and asked her out. She responded with \"yes\" she just had to figure some stuff out and have some time. So 2 months later in April I asked her again and she said yes. Only about a month later she said she felt like we were still just friends and nothing more. We decided to give it a little time but ended up breaking up about a month and a half later. \nWere still friends. Whenever we hang out though we flirt like the entire time. I'm not one to flirt much either. I actually never flirted with her before we went out and during. Now that we are broke up I just find the urge to flirt with me. Then she just flirts back doesn't try to push me away or anything.\nI asked her if she was ok with me flirting with her that much and she said she enjoys it. I asked her if she still liked me at all and she said yes to that. She says she just want to be really flirty best friends. All our friends tell me we seem so happy together.", "summary": "So went out with this girl, broke up, still flirt like crazy and still has feelings for me. Any advice to get her back? Get another chance?"} {"id": "t3_wbi0f", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I get rid of the weird? How has reddit dealt with their personal 'weird'?", "post": "So I've taken a lot of advice from reddit to get out of my shell and meet people and stop being alone. I've hit the gym and lost 40 pounds (so far), cut my hair from 12 inches (and donated it) to 1 and a half inches, I got a new job that I like and have made friends (kind of) with everybody there, deleted facebook, lawyered up (I was a research assistant for one and she is now a great source for recommendations), and have tried to become interesting by learning how to play guitar and bass (more for me, less for others), and have finished taking a third year of French (each year consists of 3 classes), speak Spanish already and am done with my major in college. I have dropped friendships that were draining and made time for better ones, but still no progress on the relationship front with females. It seems that once people get to know me, I'm just rather weird. How can I get rid of this weird, or can I? I'm still a virgin at 22, which is not a great problem, but failing at interpersonal relationships with the opposite sex is.", "summary": "Hit the gym, deleted facebook, lawyered up, got a great job, hanging with new people, have not switched to a credit union, tried to become interesting, cut my hair, but cannot blend into normal society."} {"id": "t3_2nssou", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F], maid of honor for my engaged friend[26F], how do I support her and not compromise my sanity/our friendship?", "post": "My friend has been engaged for almost two years. In the initial flurry of activity after her engagement, she asked me to be her maid of honor and I happily agreed. She had planned on having an 18 month engagement with her fiance (they wanted to get married in the summer and 6 months was not enough time to plan). \n\nUnfortunately, her fiance's father was battling cancer and passed away this past spring. While he was ill, my friend and her fiance went through a rough patch (some emotional cheating on his part, trust issues, his grief, financial problems etc.) and they decided to postpone the wedding by a year. \n\nThrough all of this, I have tried to be there for her, lending advice and a listening ear when she needs it. There was a period of time where I did pull away slightly -- but mainly because every time we talked it was about her issues with her fiance or some other drama in her life (her parents also were divorced in the year leading up to her engagement) and it was starting to weigh on me emotionally, not to mention that I wasn't getting much out of our friendship at that time. \n\nWe now live in different cities across the country from one another. She even lives about 8 hours away from her fiance at the moment, who is planning to relocate to her city about a month before their wedding. \n\nHer approach to wedding planning has been virtually non-existent, which has me both anxious and kind of frustrated. Not to mention that I feel as though her relationship with her fiance has been (and perhaps still is) on shaky ground. I want to support her decision to marry him, help her plan her wedding and be there for her through what should be a really exciting time. I'm going to need to book time off of work to attend her wedding, and likely the festivities in the week before. \n\nSo, reddit, what I'm asking is -- how do I, as her maid of honor, delicately ask my friend if she's actually getting married without offending or upsetting her?", "summary": "Am maid of honor for a friend who isn't really planning her wedding, how do I ask her if she's actually getting married?"} {"id": "t3_1f94rq", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "22f likes sex more then fiance 25m. Preparing for therapy... HELP!!!", "post": "My fiance's mom came up this weekend for his birthday Monday (25M). He let me give him a hand job while his mom and brother were drifting off to sleep in our living room (with the bedroom door open), and the whole weekend when they weren't looking he would grab at me(22f). Come Monday when his mom and brother left, I thought for sure I was going to get some... But he said \"I just want to hold you.\" Don't get me wrong, I am a cuddle bug, but that was not what I was wanting. Then he says \"we'll do it tomorrow.\" And surprise!!!! nothing. (This happens all the time. I get semi-regular sex once a month, we've been together for 3 years.)\n I've been advised to go to therapy with him, and we're planning on premarital therapy anyways. I've only been to see a therapist once, but I didn't have a good therapist, and resulted in a negative experience. But has anyone gone to therapy for a similar reason? What was it like? What did they have you do?", "summary": "I like sex more then he does. Preparing to seek therapy. Wanting to hear from people who've gone for a similar reason, to know what its like, and what they had you do."} {"id": "t3_y83bw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Advice needed, Reddit: boyfriend with Asperger's (updated)", "post": "I posted this the other day, but I don't know. Something happened, so I'm trying again. Sorry.\n\nSo, as the title says: we met almost 5 months ago now, and it was pretty much holycrapiwanttospendeverysinglewakingmomentwithyou at first sight. We've both been extremely busy this summer, so we haven't seen each other much the past 2-3 months, but I'd say everything is still pretty dandy. Neither of us are very clingy or attention-seeking, and we're quite happy to go a week or more at a time without talking - it just means we have more things to talk about when we next speak. It's very comfortable, and I wouldn't want it any other way.\n\nHe was diagnosed with Asperger's (wikipedia for the unaware) when he was quite young, but it's apparently a very mild form and most people don't even realise he has it. I didn't notice anything was wrong until he told me about it. He is genuinely the sweetest, most caring guy you will ever meet - he is loyal, trustworthy, funny and incredibly smart. However, he does have a lot of problems with things like expressing himself, asking questions, anxiety attacks and focusing in a conversation. They're small problems, but I know that he worries a lot about little things and he won't tell anyone about it because he doesn't really know how to - and it's breaking my heart. All I want to do is help him and make him feel better, but ninety percent of the time, I don't know what's going on in his head, and I want to see things from his perspective so that I'll be able to empathise with him and do whatever I can to help. Currently, I just don't know if the things I am doing or saying are helping him or just making things worse.\n\nI've never known anyone with either Asperger's or any kind of autism, and I want to learn how to be the best girlfriend that I can be. I want to learn how to make him happy, I want to learn how to help. Hello, Reddit.", "summary": "any stories/advice to share regarding near ones and dear ones with Asperger's or autism? Any dos and don'ts?"} {"id": "t3_4lw2nl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] lost a power play to my hopefully ex boyfriend [25M] when I tried to break it off.", "post": "Hi everyone. I need advice on how to proceed in my situation and how to do it in a way that will be clear, effective, and will not hurt him. \n\nI have been dating this man since he was 16 and I was 14 (nearly 9 years). Some major life events happened where I needed a lot of emotional support that I didn't get from him and for the past 3 years or so, I've been unhappy with our relationship but very reluctant to let go of my best friend. \n\nI decided that I need to be an individual and branch out, not to mention that I'm going to grad school soon. So I broke up with him this weekend and I stayed with my family so he could figure out new living arrangements and the like. He said that he wanted to discuss the break up and I've been working on being more adult about my feelings so I agreed. During the discussion, he said that he did not want to give up without a fight and suggested counseling and spending more time together. I didn't have much choice it felt like but to agree. \n\nNow I'm in the situation from hell where he won't stop following me around and being extremely present and got upset when I slept in the living room last night. It's way worse than it was and I can't take it anymore. \n\nNow I just want to finalize the break up and move on but I don't know how to do it in a way that he won't be extra hurt.", "summary": "I tried breaking up with my long term boyfriend but he rejected it and is now super clingy and is upset that I need space. I need help breaking up with him for good."} {"id": "t3_294fc8", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by outing finding out someone's username.", "post": "A little backstory, my brother has been missing since 2007. We have had police, fbi, and private investigators looking for him. He was all I had growing up between households. Our parents were divorced and we swapped between different parents/step parents our whole life. We had a good bond. Well a couple days ago I was browsing this subreddit and saw a comment that reminded me of a memory we shared so, I sent the reddit or (deleted) a personal message. The message just stated my brothers name (Jarrod) with a question mark at the end. A few hours later he responded \"fuck you how did you know that\". So I said that I was his brother and that I had been searching for him for a long time, tried a few other messages to no avail. Finally today I sent him a message to just Google his name (Jarrod (no personal info so I removed last name )). And so I waited.... and waited. I got distracted so I let a few hours slip by. I finally checked back and I had a message that said \"shit\", but it was from [deleted], and so was the other post. And now I'm just sitting here wondering what the fuck i did wrong.", "summary": "Outed someone's username, he told me to go fuck myself, I told him to go Google himself, then he shit and disappeared."} {"id": "t3_33zv8c", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being horny after my girlfriend was \"finished\"", "post": "(NSFW)\nOkay so some back story: I'm a 17 year old boy and my girlfriend is also 17 and doesn't like to have sex when there is people in the house, she also doesn't like to be adventurous so there is no hope of having it outside or anything like that\u2026 so as you can tell we don't have sex a lot, maybe once every week and a half so when sexy time comes around it's kind of special. She does, however, allow things that aren't sex to happen when there is people in my house so fingering and blowjobs aren't completely off limit, however, she finds doing those thing to me boring but I like to make her feel good so I am usually the one who does more things to her\u2026 with that being said I was in the mood for some stuff so I started playing with her boobs and I could tell she was getting turned on\u2026 fast forward 10 minutes and we're playing with each other and I really want to have sex or get something done to me so that I'm not sexually frustrated until she goes home\u2026 anyway, I rub her until she is done and all is good and then she has to pee so she goes to the toilet\u2026 this is where my fuck up comes in\u2026 I knew she was going to be about 4 or 5 minutes because she pees slowly or some shit and I decide that now is the perfect time to make myself a little less sexually frustrated\u2026 a few minutes pass and I'm close to finishing (like really close) and I get to the point of no return just as I hear her walking towards my bedroom\u2026 I panic, sperm goes all over my bed and on my clothes and I panic and try to cover myself up in the blanket and hope she doesn't realise what I'd just done\u2026 she climbs in to bed next to me and we cuddle IN A POOL OF MY OWN SEMEN for about two hours until she goes home\u2026 yes reddit, I didn't tell my girlfriend what I had just done and we laid in my semen for 2 whole hours\u2026 I'm an idiot", "summary": "Getting touchy with the girlfriend, she finishes, goes to bathroom and I ejaculate all over my bed sheets, she then comes back and we lay in my semen for two whole hours without her realising\u2026"} {"id": "t3_rdewk", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I was recently diagnosed with Celiac Disease and I'm emotionally having a hard time with it. Any fellow breadless Redditors out there?", "post": "I've had food and airborne allergies my entire life. I've also been lactose intolerant. However, my allergies have intensified as I've gotten older, so I got checked out. I was diagnosed with Celiac disease and put on a gluten free diet. I feel leaps and bounds better on the diet, and lost a ton of water weight within the first week (an entire dress size worth). It's tricky making sure I don't eat any sauces with wheat snuck in them, but overall it's not too hard to find things to eat since I really enjoy fresh fruit, veggies, and meat. \n\nHowever, the hardest part for me is actually the emotional part of it. I feel a huge sense of loss. It's not so much that I'm craving bread (though I would like a normal pasta for sure), it's that I've been eating these foods my whole life. My mom used to make my sister and I tricolor noodles and chicken nuggets for lunch when we were little. I remember making pancakes for my first very serious boyfriend. I always loved getting a takeout meatball sub and carrying the hot paper bag back to the office, filled with anticipation for the bounty of awesome coming my way. \n\nI recently graduated, lost my fiance, and moved within a short span of time (around 6 months). I feel like the loss of wheat, strangely, has been a bit of a tipping point. I'm having a hard time with my sense of identity and feeling hopeful. What can I do to feel more normal?", "summary": "I have Celiac disease, feel sad about the loss of that part of my life, what can I do to feel better?"} {"id": "t3_3qx8q8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[25 M] told my girlfriend[21 F] we should split. She cried, and I caved in and took her back. Now how shall we continue? [Relationship]", "post": "[Previous Thread](\n\nThe thoughts of there being no spark in my R/S kept weighting in on my mind, leaving me thinking again and again: Is she the right one? As said, my gf is too accommodating, quiet and docile.\n\nI went out on a simple dinner date with another girl(no touching), and I was blew away by how much fun we had, chatting and giggling and talking about every damn aspect of our lives! That's when I decided it's a big world out there, and I should start going out with someone who I can truly feel alive with.\n\nNote that I do really, really like my gf. I care for her. I want to kiss her and hug her. But I find it hard to communicate at times due to how shy she is. Her lack of initiative and interests in life besides work is something I dislike. **I can see us dating happily for a year, but I cannot see myself marrying her 15 years down the road.** I decided to break up, because she deserves someone who can love her, not someone who decides to keep her around for a while, then toss her for someone better.\n\nI took her to a park, and told her I felt we weren't compatible - that she is awesome and wonderful and caring, but I just wasn't the right man for her. She cried, and told me how important I was to her, and how disappointed she was that I was giving up in just a few short months. No matter how I degraded myself, told her of my family problems, of my nerdy interests, of my poor-paying job etc... **she insisted she didn't cared for any of those, and that she wanted me for who I was.**\n\nNow, how the hell do you find someone like that?\n\nShe wanted another go at this relationship, and I caved. I told her we would work this out together and start anew.\n\nI want to find a way to love her. To find the sparks with this woman. To know that I can be with her for life.\n\nHow do I begin?", "summary": "Tried to break up with GF whom I thought I was incompatible with. She cried and asked for another chance, and I caved. Now I dunno how to continue."} {"id": "t3_4zydpn", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "(Nebraska) I was hammered and got tossed out of a bar last weekend.", "post": "I got hammered for someone's birthday last weekend shots kept coming and I rarely drink. I blacked out I don't remember any of this.\n\nSupposedly I had a verbal argument with the bartender and the doorguy ended up dragging me out of the bar by the neck. I know i was an idiot for getting so drunk. \n\nNow I'm fairly certain i have an injury to my hyoid bone in my neck, I can feel how far in the right side goes compared to my left. And it hurts to swallow. \n\nI set an appointment, but its through the VA so i have to wait. \n\nIf there is an actual injury can I sue the guy? \n\nFor what its worth my friends said they didn't see me do anything then all of a sudden i was put into a headlock from behind. They had no idea why. \n\nWhen i went back to the bar the next day to get my card (they threw it out) the bartender was the one that said what happened. Of course I believe them, why else would that have happened?", "summary": "Got drunk, doorguy choked me out, now i think my hyoid bone is broken or at least something around it. Wondering if I can pursue any legal action. "} {"id": "t3_1zobhs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21/F] with my chem tutor [26 M] 4mo, Originally Clicked, now mixed signals", "post": "I'm a zoology major and been seeing a chem tutor for this semester due to already failing the course once and having to retake it. I have been crushing pretty hard on my chem tutor, he originally seemed to show reciprocation. His wording and actions pretty much confirmed to me that he liked me. But I figured neither of us would never do anything until I was done with the semester and he was no longer my tutor. Now it seems like the spark has died out, and he seems pretty distracted or not interested. I don't know if this is just me over reacting or him sincerely not interested anymore. \n\nI told him I would be around during the summer courses to take some other labs; he said he would be willing to tutor me during the summer informally for my next level bio courses. Since then he hasn't put in any effort to show interest. Has he just resigned to the fact that 'hey, she'll be here for awhile so no rush' or just figured that I he could go get some other girl?\n\nI am not very good at flirting with guys as it is, and am pretty skittish. I know I am pretty but get super scared and intimidated if I know he likes me back. I am fine during our session and we talk a lot about other things than just chem (he's brought up relationships with me before and accuses me of being too distracting), but in public I am not any good (passing or during group study/tutoring sessions) I just don't know if I maybe didn't follow through with enough awkward waves and smiles and now he thinks I am not interested. He just started showing a lack of interest this week, we have another 1:1 next week but when I asked to set it up he seemed kinda like he didn't want to. I did this during the end of the group study session so maybe he is taking my cues and keeping it out of public? Normally he seems excited when I ask for the 1:1 sessions.", "summary": "Crushing on a tutor who was reciprocating until recently. Don't know if he got bored or I didn't show enough interest."} {"id": "t3_2xm112", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "2 pairs of shoes or a new phone?", "post": "Hi guys, so I've been saving up since Christmas and I now have $300 and, being a junior in highschool, I don't have bills to pay so I spend my money on more materialistic things. I'm a bit of a sneakerhead and I've been looking at these two pairs of shoes that I love that I can get with my money (keep in mind I already have about 13 pairs of shoes). Yesterday, however, I saw where I can pay $250 and trade in my phone and begin the $25 a month cycle again but with a new phone. Right now I have an S5 with a horribly broken camera and it has lost its waterproofing. I'm also a bit of a gadget fan so new phones are always on my mind. I could wait until January and get a new phone and not pay the $250 but I really want one now.", "summary": "Buy 2 pairs of shoes I love for $285 or pay $250 and get a new phone (or wait til January). Thanks guys!"} {"id": "t3_wx3tu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is something that you don't remember, but have to pretend you do?", "post": "My entire childhood.\n\nBefore you start, I am a 21 year old man, and when I was 12 years old, my parents got a divorce. As typical, for any kid going through this, I was put into counseling, which I hated. I thought I was too smart to need it (straight A's, gifted classes, taking high school classes in 7th grade). I would either sit in silence during the hour long session, or walk out and refuse to re-enter. \n\nI have memory issues now, most of my childhood is completely blank, the rest a blur. Nobody knows about it, as it doesn't come up much, but it gets to me almost every day. My grandparent's took me on a trip to Egypt when I was around that age (I don't know how old I was, but it was around the time of the divorce, I'm not sure if it was before or after) and I honestly don't remember anything about it. I've seen pictures and heard stories, and I play along, but none of it is sincere memory. My parents often relish in the time before the divorce, going to disneyland and such, but I don't remember any of it. I've never told anyone just how bad it really is, my sister knows a little bit, but that's really it. \n\nWhenever someone is telling stories of my childhood, I listen closely, because I'm learning about the kid I was. Damn, I wasn't expecting to start crying while typing this. I guess I'll end it here.", "summary": "Something that happens to most kids nowadays happened to me, but I've blocked out just about everything leading up to it."} {"id": "t3_354syi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] of 2 years, he won't brush his teeth", "post": "I began dating my boyfriend in high school, but I didn't realize he has a dental hygiene problem until I started spending more nights with him in college. Every night I observe him eating dinner or even worse, a bag of candy, and climbing straight into bed. Then, in the morning, he gets up and goes straight to class without even going into the bathroom. I feel like this is such a dumb thing to take issue with, but it seriously disgusts me and is getting in the way of my desire to kiss him.\n\nI've discussed this with him multiple times, and I hate doing it every time because I would not enjoy someone telling me my breath stinks. I'll gently tell him that he needs to go brush his teeth before we get intimate if he hasn't that morning or the night before. Then he grumbles, \"Fine, I'll brush my teeth *twice* a day, *every* day,\" mocking me. But I got sick of reminding him twice a day every day so I cut back, and he's back to his old habits. He doesn't always sleep over, so for all I know he never brushes his teeth at all.\n\nOccasionally, I'll ask him, hey are you still brushing your teeth every day? And he'll either stay silent or say \"yes\" defensively, which makes me feel like he's lying to me. Not to mention the fact that I feel deceived the whole time I dated him in high school. I've told him I feel like his lack of hygiene is disrespectful to me. All that results in is him agreeing to change his habits in an annoyed tone and then not changing anything.", "summary": "Boyfriend won't brush his teeth despite constant reminders. How do I get him to see this is a significant issue?"} {"id": "t3_h0vt5", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Anyone have problems with a vet that jumps to the \"surgery\" conclusion without really examining your pet?", "post": "So we just got back from the vet. We took our 10-month old Plott Hound/Boxer pup in because he seems to have a fluid sac behind his right elbow. It hasn't caused him any pain but it's been there for almost 2 weeks and when we called the vet's office to ask about it, the nurse suggested we bring him in to get it looked at. She warned me that our regular vet wasn't in today and we would be seeing another vet. I can't get off work next week and I figured anyone taking the place of our awesome vet would be just as awesome.\n\nWe go in, the guy takes one look at our dog, doesn't touch him once and says \"Oh yeah, that's a hygroma. You'll need to have that surgically drained. We'll have to put him out, drain it, then he'll have to have drainage tubes in for the next week. Oh, and you'll have to keep him completely inactive for 2 weeks.\" Our dog has a hard time holding still for 5 minutes... there's no way he's going to go more than a day without running and playing without heavy sedatives. At this point, we were like, \"uh ok, well if the swelling doesn't go down in a week we'll bring him back in.\" Cool, $54, have a nice day.\n\nI got home and did some searching about [hygromas] The accepted treatment seems to be \"make sure they stop damaging the area, put heat on it, take him back to the vet for correction if it gets really big.\" A lot of sites say that surgery is rarely done and, if it is, it's done when the dog is older and the hygroma has gotten large and/or infected. So we're going to make sure he has a lot of padded areas to rest and we'll put heat on it. We'll even take him to see our regular vet before too long to get his opinion.\n\nI guess I'm just irked that the vet jumped immediately to expensive surgery without even really examining the dog or discussing with us what would happen if we don't get surgery. Has anyone else had a similar experience?", "summary": "Our dog has a common condition that shouldn't require surgery, but the substitute vet we went to jumped immediately to surgery as the answer."} {"id": "t3_1tir68", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My crush [20/f] is moving to Paris for a year. Did I do the right thing?", "post": "I'm a 20 year old guy, and I just got out of a relationship about 3 months ago. \n\nNow I have developed a pretty big crush on my ex's best friend Stacey.\n \nStacey is currently on-and-off with a good friend of mine (David), and she seems really into him.\n \nThey are on-and-off because he dumped her to get back with his ex, and it didn't work out.\n \nShe is going on an exchange to Paris for 5 months. She has said a few times that she doesn't want to start a relationship before she leaves. \nBut she also got pretty upset when David dumped her to get back with his ex. I agree it's a pretty bad situation to be in.\n\nLast night there was a big ice storm, power was out, roads were dangerous and we had been drinking. \n \nI offered for her to sleep on my couch, and we ended up talking for hours after everyone had left.\n \n\nShe ends up sleeping in my bed with me, but I didn't make a move on her since I thought it was the right thing to do.\n \nI have really strong feelings for her, and didn't want to spoil it with a meaningless fuck.\n \nAnd I also wasn't sure if she would have similar feelings for me, since she seems interested in my friend David.", "summary": "I had the chance to sleep with my crush last night. She is moving away so I decided not to make a move."} {"id": "t3_42vfq8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16M] am in the same friendship groups as my ex's [15F]'s boyfriend. Sad thing is I like the guy.", "post": "This girl, let's call her Kim, was with me last year, but I was basically forced to break up with her because her dad wouldn't let her see me and it killed me and I couldn't take it any more.\n\nAfter about half a year, *right when I start to have feelings for her again*, I find out she's going out with one of my closest (at the time) friends[16M]. to make it even worse, before I started having feelings for her again, **I specifically asked said friend,** let's call him Jimmy, **if he was into her**, cos I wouldn't want to cockblock if my mate is into the same girl, y'know. Jimmy said no, and that i needed to move on. Asshat.\n\nAt first I was on an emotional rollercoaster, but then I was prepraed to forgive Jimmy, cos I really looked up to and respected the guy, for doing this to me. I talked to him, and **he made it clear that he didn't even want to be friends with me!** This guy had been one of my friends that I could rely on, confide in, and he *didn't even want to be friends* this whole time?!?\n\nAny thought of forgiveness had just rocketed out the window, and I was MAD. Took me a good month to get over the girl, Kim.\n\nAnyway, Jimmy and I have pretty much all the same friends so when our group are together its like a rubber band with two positive magnets on it. We just don't make eye contact. This really upsets me because as a Christian I desperately want to make up with him, I really like the guy...\n\nDo you guys think I should try to be on good terms with Kim and Jimmy (Pardon the 8Mile references), or should I distance myself from them so they don't hurt me further?", "summary": "close friend screwed me over by going for my crush and explicitly ending our friendship, should I try to be on good terms with them or ditch?"} {"id": "t3_vi1xw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What has been your worst experience at a K-Mart store? Here's mine.", "post": "I don't care for their store much to begin with but due to location and selection I stop by once or twice month. I went looking for some hardware but didn't end up finding what I wanted. Took to browsing the aisles because I didn't want to have made a wasted trip.\n\n$3 for a pair of training mitts/gloves (originally $26). I also spot a similar set of youth/adult boxing gloves for the same price. I double check the clearance tags to make sure I have the right items for the sale and take both boxes to check-out. This is where the fun begins.\n\nTraining mitts ring up no problem but when she rings up the gloves the total jumps to $28 instead of $6. I point this out and they call back a price check. Comes back over the radio that the price rung up is the correct price. I decline to buy the full priced gloves and just buy the mitts. After I finish my purchase I return to the aisle to double check the sale tags and they've been removed. I was pissed at this point but really, what could I do? Walked out with my purchase got a good deal and was cheated out of another.", "summary": "discounted item rang up full price, sale tag removed from shelf before having chance to verify myself. Fuck you K-mart."} {"id": "t3_2w71yt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my GF [23 F] of 5 years, broke up with me a couple days ago", "post": "I came to this sub in order to give myself a peace of mind. \n\nWhat I've been feeling lately is a lot of unfairness. Problems within a relationship that long need to be resolved in an appropriate fashion. I keep feeling as though that breaks up in a long term relationship should be a mutual agreement. It should never feel as though the decision is up to the other person. Letting one person decide the fate of a long term relationship doesn't feel right to me. We should work on at least finding a reason why we both feel as though the relationship should end. If that conclusion doesn't arrive then it only proves that we still need to work the relationship.\n\nI suppose a little backstory is needed to make sense of this. The problem we've been having was I had let her down multiple times when she needed me. Of course I feel horrible about it, disappointing people I care about is one of my worst fears. She feels as though it has happened too often in a short period of time. After the last time it happened, I've been genuinely trying my best to never let her down. \n\nUnfortunately it's been difficult for her to move past it. As a result, she felt like giving up because the relationship isn't worth it if she can't stop thinking about the problem. Essentially it was too late for me to do anything about it. It just doesn't feel fair to me that this problem, that I've been working hard to fix, is what's keeping us from mending our relationship together. So it feels as though the decision of whether a 5 year relationship stays or goes is up to her only. I'm just shocked that we broke up over something like this and in such a short period of time of us dealing with the problem.", "summary": "The decision to break up was completely her own while we did nothing to convince myself of a reason to agree with her. It doesn't feel right to handle the situation like that when it's such a long term relationship."} {"id": "t3_1xsasf", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Sexual harassment complaint filed against my partner and no one will give him any information about it. What will happen now? [Ohio]", "post": "My partner went into work the other day and they immediately pulled him aside and told him he was being suspended pending investigation. They gave him papers, told him he had been accused of sexual harassment, and told him he could not step foot into the store again, for at least as long as the investigation. They treated him like he should know what he did, acted like he did something heinous and wrong, yet never told him what it was that he was accused of.\n\nShouldn't they have told him what he supposedly did? Isn't he supposed to be allowed to dispute it? They gave him the number to a Union representative, but that person never called back. So he went into the actual Union office this morning, but they just filed some papers and told him to wait for a phone call from them.... But he doesn't even know what he's fighting against! We don't know what to do. We can't afford for him to be out of work like this... and sexual harassment charges will haunt him forever, and potentially screw up his whole working career. I just don't understand why someone would do this... It has blown all of us away... What do we do??", "summary": "My partner was suspended from his job and told he can't come back while they're investigating, but that is all he was told. Are they allowed to do that?"} {"id": "t3_2hhatv", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "Second cat AND feral cat challenge all at once!", "post": "So yesterday I go on my back patio and there are 3 little kittens there. I had been debating on getting a second kitten, and these ones look old enough (4-5 weeks) so I caught one and brought it inside. She's obviously feral by how scared she is. She keeps hiding and shaking and won't eat so far. I did manage to catch her a few times, and she's actually really complacent. When I catch her and pet her, she's totally cool with it. I even gave her a bath without any hassle! So she is very chill, but very scared still. My older kitty (6 mo) is not pleased with the cat. She has been hissing at it. She sniffed her a few times but for the most part she's acting very territorial. So I would appreciate any advice on socializing feral kittens, AND socializing the kitten with my older cat! I've read up enough to realize that I should keep the kitten in a seperate small space for a little while and spoon feed her.", "summary": "Took in feral kitten, sweet but very scared, and my older cat is not getting along with her. Need advice for handling all this. "} {"id": "t3_4fpxh3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my husband [23 M], unhappy in relationship because my husband is not passionate.", "post": "My husband and I have been married for a year. Before we got married we had multiple deep conversations, did a lot of things together, sex life was great (usually 4-5 times a week) but ever since we got married/moved in together, everything has gone down hill. \n\nAny time that I am passionate about anything, he shuts down completely. He refuses to talk to me if I show an ounce of passion/sadness/frustration in my voice. He states that I need to talk to him in a \"friendly voice\" even if it's something that I am upset about. \n\nFor example, we got a new puppy and the dog is still being crate trained/house trained. I don't like that he yanks on the dogs leash when he is walking him or wanting him to go outside, because I believe it teaches the puppy to only respond to that behavior. I have asked him multiple times (politely) to stop doing this, he says he will and then he continues the behavior. I've asked about 10 different times, so the last time I brought it up I was really upset about it and started crying (probably overreacting but I really love my dog). He sat on the couch and wouldn't even look at me. I finally just went upstairs and when I came back down and asked him about why he wasn't responding to me he said \"I'm not going to talk to you if you can't talk to me in a nicer tone\"\n\nThis is just one example, but there are dozens of others that have ended in the exact same way, or with him just sighing and rolling his eyes at me.\n\nOn top of that, we have sex about once a month and only when I'm super drunk (because he is not emotionally available and I've completely lost interest). I have tried to talk to him about it and again he sits in silence and refuses to talk to me.\n\nI think this is bull shit... Am I crazy for thinking this? Has my husband just completely checked out of our relationship? \n\nI'm hoping someone else has gone through something similar and can give me some advice.", "summary": "My husband is not passionate about our relationship and ignores me when I try to talk to him. Does this mean he has checked out of our relationship? What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2wvlyv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[M-22] My ex-[F-19] is dropping off some of my stuff later tonight, should I be pleasant? [Personal Issues]", "post": "We've been broken up a while, 9 months or so, haven't seen one another in 4 months. I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about her, but she hurt me and lied to my face numerous times. Things have moved on and now I'm not sure if I should be pleasant any more, I've been nothing but polite the entire time we've known/dated one another. And I'm not sure if I'm obliged to be polite anymore, either I am to be the bigger person, or I'm not and take a jab at her hoping she feels bad about things.", "summary": "Ex is giving me my crap back, should I be the bigger person or try and make her feel some kind of guilt for hurting me?"} {"id": "t3_3wxtjp", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Newborn Addicted to Night Nurse...", "post": "My son (2nd child) was born 5 weeks ago. My wife and I also have a 2.5 YO daughter. We did not get a night nurse when our daughter was born. When our son was born, we were encouraged to get a night nurse to help out. At first it was great. Now, however, we are scaling back on the nurse and she is only there 3 nights a week. Our newborn sleeps for 2-4 hours at a time when the night nurse is there. On the nights when the nurse is not there, he does not sleep. Maybe for 30-60 minutes, but only if he is being held AND walked around. I spent from midnight-2am walking around the first floor of my house trying to get him to sleep. He's not hungry, we feed him plenty (gained 2.5lbs in first month), but he will not sleep. As soon as we put him down in the bassinet (or even sit down while holding him) he starts to wake up and cry. We have even tried driving him around to get him to sleep. He falls asleep in the car, then, as soon as he is back in the house (not even out of the car carrier) he wakes up. It's like he has some crazy spider-sense. Has anyone had similar experiences? Like I said, its ONLY on the nights where the night nurse is not there, so my wife insists he is addicted to her. Our daughter was colicky, and that was rough, but at least she eventually fell asleep. This is a whole new level of difficult. I know the answer is probably \"that sucks but it'll pass,\" but does anyone have any advice for getting overtired newborns to sleep?", "summary": "newborn sleeps great when night nurse is there, but does not sleep on nights she is not. Any tips for getting overtired newborns to sleep?"} {"id": "t3_2doxzs", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I need advice with the corner I feel like my wife is backing me into", "post": "My wife and I have been married for a little over a year and we've been together for about 6 years. In the past two years, I've gotten a much better job, worked my ass off, been promoted, and we've been able to enhance our lifestyle as a result. My wife has in the last two years worked a dead end job that she claims to hate. She was recently promoted (big promotion) so we got her the new car she wanted. Now she wants to go back to school.\n\nBecause she's unhappy with her career, she wants to go back to school to get a masters degree. Ultimately she wants to be a city planner or a city manager. However, in order for her to do this, we have to make some changes in our lifestyle. Things like: live in a much cheaper place, sell things we don't need to drum of some cash, start biking/public trans, etc. Tonight she asked me if I'd consider selling my car (she can't/won't learn to drive stick) and cut back on our expenses so she can do this. I don't really want to budge on this and here's why:\n\nShe isn't going to make more money. In my mind, if spending all this money on a better degree doesn't net you anything (aside from maybe greater job satisfaction), it's not worth it. We can't afford to have a family now, so things aren't going to get any better.\n\nI don't want to sell my car. I've been working my ass off to get where I am and I don't want to compromise on something that I really love (driving) so that we can afford to have her go back to school.\n\nShe occasionally says things like \"I want to run a bed and breakfast\" which makes me feel like she doesn't know what she wants to do and this will just lead to more dissatisfaction.\n\nI brought up the financials and she got pissed off because she felt I was being selfish because I was focusing on the money. It quickly escalated into a yelling/pissing contest and got us no where.\n\nBasically, I'm lost. I don't know what to do or how to handle this situation. Please help.", "summary": "Wife wants to go back to school to get a similar-paying job and is asking for us to compromise on things in order for her to be able to."} {"id": "t3_3yjp10", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What do I[27f] do with the boxes of xmas presents amazon delivered from my ex[37m]?", "post": "I left my abusive ex-boyfriend for the second and last time two months ago. I've gone no contact with him, don't associate with mutual friends who remained friends with him, and even stopped speaking with most of my family when they believed the lies he told them about my mental health and supported his attempts to have me involuntarily committed.\n\nWhen I returned from my holiday trip yesterday there was a pile of amazon boxes waiting for me. All nicely wrapped with gift tags naming me and my immediate family, and a long letter saying no matter what happened or happens he will always consider us family and he hopes we'll celebrate next year. The gift tags on my boxes all had notes about how much he still loves me and wants us to be together again.\n\nI've got no problem throwing away or donating the gifts he got for me. I haven't even opened them and don't want to. He left me with permanent physical injuries, he gets no future role in my life.\n\nWhat do I do with the gifts he sent to my family? It feels wrong to not give them out, or to donate them without mentioning it at all. And how do I make it clear to him not to do this again? I want to say something to him about how inappropriate and manipulative it was. But I also think it would probably be better not to say anything at all. He did it to open a line of communication, right? I don't want him to think it worked.", "summary": "Abusive ex sent christmas presents to me and my family. Going to toss or donate mine. What do I do about it all?"} {"id": "t3_s21xh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Christian friend has an answer for everything, need help", "post": "My best friend is an intelligent person. He is also a theist, a Christian one. He claims that Christianity in the correct sense, should only be looked at as far as the new testament is concerned: the coming of Jesus; he claims the bible from this view is the most lenient text and just overall promotes the belief in Christ and to be a good person, to question everything (even ones own Christian beliefs), and much more. I'm the ignorant one, because by not believing in something, then why live at all? I just dont think I should believe in something without evidence, but apparently the evidence for Jesus Christ and eye witness accounts is \"enough\" for him to believe. I never get anywhere in our arguments so I'm looking for some help. I haven't read the bible.", "summary": "What is the new testament all about? Because apparently that is the only thing that applies to Christianity and there is nothing outrageous in it, just preaching of love and theism."} {"id": "t3_2tkkup", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "My SO's mother treats us like young teenagers, and I'm sick of it!", "post": "We've been dating for 1 year now, we are both 20 years old and are in college. I always go out of my way to be helpful whenever I am at her house, whether its helping with dinner, cleaning or even taking out the trash. Her mother is always very friendly and lovely to me whenever she sees me, big hugs and kisses everytime I come over. We bought her lovely presents for birthdays and christmas, and have cooked dinner for the entire family a number of times.\n\nDespite all of my efforts to be the best I can possibly be for both my SO and all of *our* efforts to be the best for her family, her mother insists on treating us both as teens who are not ready for simple things like sleeping in the same bed.\n\nI'm typing this out as I lie on the couch in my SO's house, because her mother demanded that we do ***not*** share a room, let alone a bed. She is not even allowed to stay at my apartment that I live in for college, (so much so that after missing the last bus back home at night, her mother demanded that she gets a taxi back home, something that would have cost upwards of $60). It frustrates us so much, when we see my housemates have their SO's stay over numerous nights in a row and we cant even spend a day together without worrying about sleeping arrangements for that night. It's especially frustrating to me due to the fact that my parents loosened their grip on me from 16 onwards, so much so that I would be able to leave for the day to another city 3 hours away and only send a text message to let them know where I was. They trusted me, and I respected that trust.\n\nWe just want to function like a normal couple. We don't want to have to lie in order to simply spend a night together or tip toe our way around when her mother is around. It makes us feel like teenagers dating for the first time. I love her, I just want to sleep beside her and wake up next to her each morning, but I cant, because of whatever backwards thought process her mother has.", "summary": "SO's mother refuses to let us sleep together and all around act like a normal couple. It's starting to annoy me (to put it lightly)"} {"id": "t3_4ox6of", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (19m) girlfriend (19f) went through my Facebook messages and saw that I had asked my ex if she as okay and \"doesn't trust me anymore\".", "post": "Typing on my iPhone so bear with me\n\nMy girlfriend of 6 months recently logged onto my computer to do school work while I was at work. She went to Facebook earlier that morning and saw that I was logged in and she said she had a \"gut feeling\" that I was lying to her about who I was talking to regularly. My ex goes to the same college as me coincidently and I had recently asked if she was okay after she showed up for school with a black eye. The conversation I had with her was very cut and dry and nothing that would raise an alarm. My girlfriend was FURIOUS. Claiming that \"she knows girls that do this\". But the problem I'm having is that when I mention something about her talking to this friend she has at school constantly texting her at all hours of the night she gets even more pissed because I \"should trust her\"..\n\nI don't fucking get it. I need help. \n\nPart of the reason I broke up with my previous ex was because I hate feeling watched over, or constantly under surveillance, when I tried describing how I felt to my current girlfriend she was even more mad claiming that I \"shouldn't compare her to my ex\". But they both did the exact thing just differently...\n\nWhat are your thoughts?", "summary": "Girlfriend went though my messages on Facebook and no longer \"trusts me\" because I didn't tell her I asked my ex if she was okay"} {"id": "t3_2pa5ux", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of 6 months, I broke up with her and she's taking it ridiculously hard.", "post": "So me and my girlfriend had been going out since the summer, and we definitely had some amazing times together. Once the summer ended I moved off for college while she went to college in our home city.\nI came home every weekend and for a while it was fantastic but slowly it became harder as I became busier in college and I began to settle into my new life in an amazing city while she was stuck at home living with her parents. We started fighting more and more and it mostly came from the distance between us.\n\nAbout two or three weeks ago I decided it was time to end things as if I didn't I'd only be putting off the inevitable. I couldn't stay with her thinking the whole time about how I was going to end up breaking up her as it was too much of a weight it was on my conscience. When we broke up it was hard for me but she took it in a horrible way. I could keep busy up at college but for her she didn't have the same opportunity.\n\nSince then she's been blaming it all on herself and constantly been thinking about me even though it is clearly my fault that this happened. If I were to get back with her, as she's asked for, I know this would just repeat itself but it's so so hard for me to see someone that I once cared for deeply be so hurt.", "summary": "Girlfriend took the break-up terribly and although I want her to be happy I don't know if I can make things work."} {"id": "t3_14d1tc", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "struggle: a different variation of something we all go through", "post": "So i made it through the whole first year of college struggling. I didn't fail out by any means, but i made the minimum GPA that i needed (2.7 for certain organizations) and was just feeling ill all the time. In the summer i found out that I had diabetes (explains the illness) and struggled with the next semester going into school. I'm basically a year behind in my major, and not that i'm against student loans but i can only take out so much and with two younger sisters headed to college soon, my parents only have so much money for our college funds and with as much as i'm able to work I'm still gonna struggle gettin minimal debt outta college. On top of it all, I told myself at a young age that I never wanted a \"real\" job. If you want to cut to the chase I either was hoping to be a pro skateboarder/rockstar/some-rediculous-not-real-job you could think of. writing/playing music is my passion and i'd love nothing more than to make a living on the festival circut traveling/touring the world. Problem is, there's a hundred million kids or so out there with the same passion and way too much competition to make something original and cool these days. I mean, twenty years from now, there will be rockstars out there, living the life I wanna live. I just don't have the confidence in myself right now to really give it my all and pursue what i really want to do because I feel it's illogical. I think the reason i feel it's illogical is because I always seem to fall one step short of my goals, I never quite get to where I want to be, and waste my time disregarding everything else but I want to be able to do the things that I want to do, I don't want to settle for less.", "summary": "new to this subreddit, thought it might help me to write out everything that's bugging me in my mind. I didn't post this for reddit, but for me."} {"id": "t3_mcdn8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I hint to my gay brother that it's alright, he can come clean with me?", "post": "I've always known my brother is gay. Tried talking to him about once, but it went rather terribly. It was my fault, he was too young (only 14 at the time) and I shouldn't have crossed that line. He's an introvert, and an extremely nice guy so I was afraid going into high school, he'd have people trample all over him and bully him so I wanted to discuss ways to handle that. Anyway, he denied it of course. \n\nFlash forward about 4 years later, I found out from one of my cousins who's around his age, that he came out to them. Gotta admit, I was a little bit hurt, but also elated! It means that he had come to terms with it himself instead of being in denial. We come from a pretty traditional Vietnamese family, and he loves to make my parents happy so I was always afraid he'd live in a lie and be unhappy because of it and I don't want that. \n\nNow my question is, I want him to be able to feel free to come out to me. To talk to me about this so I can be that person in his life for him to lean on if he ever wants to come out to anyone else. Even just help him hide his boyfriends if need be! I just want to be his sister. I know I can't force him, but I love him and I want him to be able to be free and honest with me. How do I hint at this? Or do I just leave this alone and let him do it on his time? Due to the first conversation we had going so terribly, I'm quite afraid to approach the subject again even though he's 20 now. Any advice or experiences of your own is appreciated!", "summary": "Brother is gay, tried to talk to him about before, he denied it. Found he came out to my cousins, now I want him to know he's free to come out with me"} {"id": "t3_1n5j2p", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by talking to the teacher after the class", "post": "She's a musician and I'd like to get back into singing/choir, so I stayed after class to get some advice on the matter. A few minutes of chitchat later, her TA shows up, and I gather they have some kind of meeting scheduled so I try to leave, but she includes him (let's call him A) in the conversation. At some point in the conversation, the teacher mentions that I'm a bit quieter/more mature than the others. This conversation unfolds.\n\nMe: \"I don't know, I'm 4 years older than the girls I hang out with, maybe that has something to do with it. I feel ooold ~\" (I was, of course, kidding, and it was very obvious).\nA: \"Oh yeah, definitely. You're sooo mature, right?\"\n\nHe has this kind of... I don't know, kidding/not kidding tone that I just can't figure out. So I just don't mind it and continue, trying to justify myself.\n\nMe: \"Not at all. It's normal that we're not all on the same page, after all. Sometimes I just don't feel like I'm living the same reality, but the same goes for them, I guess. At times I just nod and smile, listening to them, because I have nothing pertinent to say.\"\nA: \"Oh, so you just shut up and judge them, is that it?\"\n\nAt that point I have no idea how to react. Seeing how I'm confused, taken aback by his comment, he insists that it's a joke. But the thing is, I did not mean what I said as something mean, just that it's normal that I don't relate THAT much with a daddy's girl that has her studies paid and still lives with her parents and sisters, while I live in an appartment with my boyfriend and mostly pay my own stuff. Of course maybe I was a bit clumsy in the way I said it, I don't know, but I suddenly left the class, just saying a quick \"bye\". \n\nAnd now I feel like a condescending prick. I haven't stopped thinking about it since noon.", "summary": "I wanted to talk to my musician teacher about some singing classes, ended up being accused by a TA of being 'soo mature' and of looking down on my peers."} {"id": "t3_qsyjm", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Redditors: What do you consider self-defense must-haves?", "post": "Context: I'm a woman, one who does quite a bit of walking around my city. It's not an especially high-crime kind of place, and having lived in scarier climes, there's no significant fear on my part of being assaulted. I take the typical common sense precautions of walking in well-lit, high-traffic areas, etc, etc. That said, in the past month I've been followed for over a mile by a man I passed one evening -- he said some offensive things, and it was away we go until I ducked into a restaurant where the staff knew me. There have been a couple of people since then who made comments as I was walking by, and this morning, a man stopped to ask for the time before invading my personal space close enough to kiss, then started stroking my arm. I went shouty on him -- forgetting cultural and societal gender bullshit for a moment, what makes it okay for *anyone* to get up in *any* stranger's face and then start touching them? How is that acceptable? -- and his response was 'girl, I'm sorry, you just remind me of my girlfriend', then some nasty compliments that I guess I was supposed to like.\n\nSo my point here is that I am tired of dealing with this behavior. I'll be calling my local police station today to ask them what are acceptable types of equipment I can carry (pepper spray, et al), but I also wanted to hear some opinions from others' personal experience. It's not my intent to shiv some poor schmuck and let him bleed out on the pavement, mind; I just feel like at this point, it's time to be better prepared than steel-toed boots, a fistful of keys, and a willingness to punch.\n\nAnd just to nip the inevitable in the bud: No, there has been no 'dressing like a [insert your preferred term here]', no inviting of attention. It's just been a handful of people who think it's okay to be an asshole. (Protip: It's not.)", "summary": "Dudes have been creepy bastards. I'm looking into how one can be prepared In Case Of Emergency. Would v much enjoy others' feedback."} {"id": "t3_5478y5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [27F] parents [MF50s] are putting me down. Debating to cut them out of my life for a while. Help!", "post": "My parents help me pay for school. And I am grateful they also babysit my son. What I do not appreciate is when they tell me to grow up and that I do not have common sense to be a mother. I nearly cried earlier today when I heard my mom bring me down. My parents feel that I should visit them and clean amd help yet demand I commit to my motherly duties while cooking and cleaning for them. I feel like they own me since they pay for my education. I love helping but not if they are rude when it is uncalled for. I really do not live a double life (e.g. party while parenting). I only go to my college classes and straight home to care for my son after I pick him from daycare (or a sitter or my parents' house).\n\nToday was enough. Now I'm debating how to approach this. I'm a parent, college, I clean my home and cook for my 1y. Can I cut off contact with parents for a short while?", "summary": "Parents are helping me pay for school. But are acting rude in my effforts as a single mom. They babysit my son but I want to cut them out of our lives asap."} {"id": "t3_3wg32b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf [25 F] says I'm[26 M] sweet, but not romantic. She's unable to articulate the difference, I didn't realize there was a difference, and I'd like to work on this.", "post": "I like to do nice stuff for my girlfriend - bring her flowers, cook her dinner, take her out on movie or shopping dates or whatever. Anyways, we were having a discussion one day, and she mentioned that I'm not romantic. I countered by listing those things (flowers, cooking, bringing her a coffee when she's having a bad day at work, whatever), which she said was \"sweet\", but not \"romantic\". I honestly didn't realize there was a difference!\n\nI told her I'd like to be more romantic for her, but she couldn't explain to me what the difference is. Maybe one of you can help me!", "summary": "My girlfriend said I'm sweet but not romantic, but couldn't tell me what the difference was. Please help clear this up for me!"} {"id": "t3_4l9jm1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my bro-friend [23M] of a few years, keeps trying to get me to have sex with someone and never speak to them again.", "post": "I'm going to keep this short and to the point.\n\nI've been single for about 5 months now, and i've generally been getting sexually frustrated. My friend (Who is well meaning, but generally oblivious) Keeps insisting i should be making moves on girls, trying to have sex with them, then never speaking to them again. This is mostly what he did in college, and thinks there's no major problems with it.\n\nThing is, if i was to have sex with anyone, i'd 100% want to make sure that im in 1 of 2 scenarios.\n\n1. The sex is strictly for sex. No strings attached. I don't feel like leaving emotional baggage with someone who i have no emotional attraction too and just want to fuck.\n\n2. I get into a serious relationship before having sex with them, or at the very least see myself having some sort of relationship with the person beyond just having sex with them.\n\nHe wants to help me out and get me a sex life again, but his methods seem a bit aggressive for me. (It doesn't help that i'm pretty passive when it comes to this type of stuff, i'm not Anti-social, but i won't make moves if it carries some sort of risk)\n\nAnyway, he's offered to get me hooked up with friends/coworkers, but i feel like he's going to force me into a poor situation. Do i just tell him i don't think he's offering what i need right now?\n\nBeyond that, what do i do about getting myself out of this hole i'm in right now? I feel super unmotivated to get into any sort of relationship with anyone and i don't know what to do about it, but i really want a sex life. (This is sort of where the conversation stemmed from.)", "summary": "Friend keeps trying to get me laid, but through douchebag methods. Want a relationship, but feeling unmotivated to pursue anything. Don't know what to do with myself to sort out this slump im in."} {"id": "t3_4t8v0c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17 M] have been dating my gf [17 F] for 3 years, and I don't know if I should be happy with it", "post": "DISCLAIMER- I'll try to explain it best I can, I suck at explaining things.\n\nI have been dating my current gf from my freshman year of HS, and moving into my senior year I feel like this relationship is keeping me from growing as a person in a way. I don't have any experience with other girls, and have always been restricted when it comes to social interaction with girls because of my GF. \n\nI feel like as a 17 y/o male, I should be free to do what I want, and not feel like I am in a constricted relationship. I believe it is having negative effects on me, and I think later on in life I will regret not being freer during my best years/early adulthood.\n\nDespite this, I am happy with my girlfriend, I just don't know if I could be happier. Or how happy I should/could be. Idealistically I want an open relationship, but my gf isn't down for that, as expected. \n\nI talked to her about this yesterday, and she was pretty mad about what I was saying, understandably. I just don't know what to do, break up with her and live freer, or stick it through because I have something most people would love to have. I constantly feel urges to cheat, and have cheated, and who knows about the future. But I don't want to leave her.\n\nI hope that makes sense. I basically just need to know if how I feel is justified, or if it's hormones or something. I'm maturing and feeling this way is really fucking with me.", "summary": "Feel like I should break up with gf of 3 years to mature/experience more with life and other girls while I'm still young, DESPITE being happy with this girl. Stay with her or leave?"} {"id": "t3_4d9nv1", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by doing a prank on April fools", "post": "this is my first reddit post, and as you can tell from the title, it didn't happen today. Anyways, so every Friday at my school there is club practice for badminton, and this Friday just so happen to be April fools. so i planned to prank my friend by adding salt in her water bottle and wait to see her reaction when she gets thirsty. I learn from my other friend that she is i the locker room changing, so I sneak into the gym and poured two packets of salt into her water bottle and casually walked away. And this is where the fuck up happens, it turns out that she has her water bottle with her and the water bottle with the salt added belongs to this random girl in the club. When i noticed, it had been too late, i became friends with this girl as well, and she said the water literally tasted like sweat.", "summary": "tried to prank friend by putting salt in her water bottle, but got the wrong water bottle and pranked a stranger by accident."} {"id": "t3_ng951", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I have been seeing and old friend's sister for a while. He doesn't know, Am I handling this right.", "post": "Hi Everyone,\n\nNever quite been in an askreddit situation until now but I think this is a good time to start. I'm 25 years old and I have been seeing a high school friend's, Let's call him Jack, 20 year old sister,call her Jill, for over a year now. Jill and I haven't really hidden it from anyone around us but somehow I am almost positive he has no idea about us. Everyone is worried to tell him because he's very protective. We've never really hung out around him specifically because we were concerned by his possible reaction.\n\nI was fairly close friends with Jack in high school but since then other than a few random parties or something we haven't really spoken very much. He brought Jill to a party well over a year ago and we hit it off. We have so much in common it's scary and she's everything I would look for in a long-term relationship except the brother approval snag.\n\nTonight I was rolling(used ecstasy) for the first time and it caused me to kind of sit and evaluate relationships with people around me. I am generally an introverted person and very caged with emotion, despite feeling very strongly. I realized how I really feel about this relationship and came to the conclusion I needed to tell him. \n\nWe maintain several mutual friends that we are both close with so I am trying to be tactful. I sent him a text message a few minutes ago and was looking for feedback if I am handling this right. Also, anything you guys think I should talk about him with when he gets in touch with me?\n\nText: Hey Jack, It's mks7800. I know we haven't spoken in a long time but I think we are overdue to talk about a few things. Let me know when you're free on Aim/Facebook/Phone/out for a drink and I'll let you know about a few things.\n\nI appreciate if anyone reads this. Any advice on this somewhat sticky situation is very much appreciated.\n\n-mks7800", "summary": "I have been seeing my old friend's sister and it seems he's the only one that has no idea, He deserves to know."} {"id": "t3_3izc5g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend (20m) shaved his beard and I'm (19f) having trouble being attracted to him?", "post": "I know this sounds extremely shallow of me but I can't get over it. All I've known him with for our relationship is having a beard. Not a super big one or anything but it's always been there. \n\nHe shaved it all off today for a job, and he looks like he's 16. He's just simply not very attractive without it. I hate how it looks. And it's not like he can just grow it back, because this job doesn't allow facial hair so he can't grow it back until he gets a new job and that might be a very long time. \n\nHas anyone else had this experience? I love him and I'll continue to but I don't always want to not find him attractive. If anyone has any advice, it would help. And to those who are just going to call me a shallow prick, please, don't. I'm sure you've had moments like these where a change in your SO's appearance has disappointed you.", "summary": "boyfriend shaved his beard for a job and he's not really attractive to me anymore. I want to get past this because he'll probably be beardless for a while."} {"id": "t3_2sfrun", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I struggled at my university due to mental health issues and was dismissed. I want to start over. Advice?", "post": "I started at my university in September of the last academic year. I was headstrong and went in with 90 credits, or an AA degree I received through Washington State's Running Start Program (free college education in high school). So I loaded up on classes my first quarter, and the following quarters, all while working a full time job. This here was my mistake I now, and realized my second quarter in but I had no choice but to work. \n\nThat second quarter I started developing insomnia due to previous drug habits (\"just\" weed...) and depression as well, and battled with this, a full time job, and full time school. I just went downhill from here. GPA dropped, and I got put onto academic probation for two quarters and finally this fall I was dismissed... \n\nI sit here now with a plan to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, a life changing experience hopefully, and start anew at another college. I am working 60 hours a week to save money, and have began to deal with all of the problems that I pushed aside for too long. I no longer smoke weed, have begun to exercise more again, and also have begun to see a psychologist.\n\nBut the big question now is what do I do next? I have my hopeful college already picked out (Humbolt State University if anyone is wondering), but how can I \"start over\" credit wist, and is it difficult to do. I have almost 150 credits currently including my AA but my GPA is terrible, and will probably get me nowhere. The obvious first step is to enroll in a community college but how will other colleges view my credits? I have so many more questions but I will save them for later", "summary": "I was dismissed from my university as a I battled with depression, full time jobs, and full time school and I want to start over. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_3oxshb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [23F] does nude modeling and I [22M] can't decide how I feel about it", "post": "This is a fairly new relationship, we've been together about a month. She had shared some of her photographs with me prior to dating (clothed but seductive natured) and now that we're together she has shared with me more of her photographer's portfolio with nude pictures and some sexual FF photos, but was sure to specify that there is no porn involved.\n I cannot decide how I feel about my serious girlfriend taking off her clothes for others to see (call it In The Name Of Art or whatever, I don't know shit about modeling). I'll never be the type to tell anyone to stop doing what makes them happy, and she seems to really enjoy what she does. Some of said pictures featuring her are displayed publicly on the photographers site as well. I'm pretty open minded, but maybe I'm too territorial or insecure over this?", "summary": "it's easy to find my pictures of my girlfriend on the internet. Do I accept this and learn to love what she does as much as she does?"} {"id": "t3_x1psq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I unreasonable?", "post": "My boyfriend and I (I am 17 and he's 20, we've been dating for about a year and a half) were hanging out and he had plans to hang out with a friend of his (who is a girl, 19) later and he wanted to hang out with me before and after he hung out with her. He's taken me to hang out with his friends before but today he specifically said he didn't want me there and that he wants to hang out with her alone.\n\n is it unreasonable for me to be \nmad at this? I'm not saying he should never hang out with his friends without me around, girl or guy, I just don't think he should go out of his and my way to make sure I'm not there. he left me at hastings and I'm waiting for them to be done hanging out right now.", "summary": "My boyfriend left me at a bookstore for an hour to go hang out with his friend (F) for an hour so he can hang out with me before and after but doesn't want me there. Should I be mad at this?"} {"id": "t3_1m3ymu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I feel like I need to end my relationship to move forward in my life.", "post": "I'm an 18 yo. guy and she's an 18 yo. girl and we've been together for about 5 months now and things have been going perfectly. Never any fights things were going well together etc. But...I feel as though she is holding me back. She smokes a lot of pot and because of this I have been too. I have been missing opportunities to hang out with college friends and haven't been putting all the time I should be into homework. I just feel like I'm missing out on life. Like I need to get outta there bruh. Like I need to go talk to other girls and reconnect with all my friends and stop getting stoned with this girl 24/7. She really likes me though and would be crushed if it was over and also she has a ton of stuff of mine at her house and vice versa and I'm just not sure how to go about any of this. This is my first serious relationship and I feel like I need to end it soon. I was wondering if anyone could help me out with some advice.", "summary": "think girlfriend is no good for me anymore. Not sure what choice to make and how to go about it if I decide to end things."} {"id": "t3_3d9xnr", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by throwing my wallet at my brother", "post": "So this is my first real post on Reddit after almost two years of lurking, and it just so happens that this fuck-up actually happened today, about 20 minutes ago, here we goooooooooooo!\n\nSo i was throwing random shit at my brother, cause why not? He's a little shit sometimes and deserves to have shit thrown at him. So first time I threw a pizza cutter cover at him, and like used the momentum to propel it off of the actual cutter, I missed and the fucker threw it back at me, this meant war.\n\nNext i had a more devious plan, I took the cutter and cut the pizza that was lunch, then I said \"Get up here your pizza is ready\"\n\nThe little shit gets up from his seat, I whip out my wallet and get ready to throw, when he looks up from his phone I throw it, aiming for his body.\n\nThis would have all been fine had I actually aimed where I wanted to, instead my arm went further up and in the split second I could see my wallet arc towards the mantle above the fireplace, I knew shit was about to get REAL.\n\nThat thing flew, fast, surprisingly fast. It hit a framed picture (of me ironically enough,) and that thing just fell like a rock. It hit the fireplace and the glass part in front of the picture shattered, and it got glass all over the fucking place. \n\nI cleaned up the mess but I'm still trying to make sure no glass is just around for my dog to eat and cut his intestines open with, nobody wants that shit and i know that he'll fucking do it too. \n\nI just got off the phone with my mom explaining the situation, she laughed at me and called me a dumbass, good thing i have nonchalant parents, although I'm fairly certain my dad would have been less cool with it than my mom. What a time to be alive.", "summary": "Wallet thrown at shithead brother, hit and shattered the glass part of a picture frame instead, I am dumbass confirmed"} {"id": "t3_1k6gz6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by drinking grapefruit juice", "post": "I was sitting at my desk earlier this afternoon, redditing away, with a nice, tall glass of grapefruit juice on the little pullout-table thing that my desk has. It was sitting on my right side. \n\nNow, for this to make sense, you need to know that my room is pretty small, and when I am sitting at my desk, my back is usually against the edge of my bed. A couple feet to my right, also against the edge of my bed on the floor, is my netbook.\n\nNow, I am sure that you can all see where this is going by now, but as I absentmindedly reached for my glass of juice without looking at it (hey, it was an interesting post, ok?) I instead knocked it over with my wrist, and it spilled all over my floor, and my netbook. \n\nI quickly realized what had happened and picked up the glass, but the damage was done. I picked up the netbook and immediately wiped off the bottom (it was sitting with the bottom up for whatever reason), set it aside, and cleaned up the rest of the spill. \n\nAfter that was done, I looked up a youtube video on how to tear down the netbook and did so, wiping what I could and blowing off the rest with canned air. Once I was sure it was dry, I screwed it all back together, and in a very stressful moment, turned it on. Luckily, it works fine again, no harm done.", "summary": "Knocked over grapefruit juice onto netbook, had to completely tear it down and dry it, works fine now."} {"id": "t3_o0p9r", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I just poured a beer into a glass, and as I did, it turned into beer slush. What the fuck just happened?", "post": "Context: I wanted to drink a nice cool beer, but I noticed that my all my alcohol was sitting in the middle of the living room. Naturally, I wanted to quickly chill my beer (for immediate consumption) so I threw a couple bottles in the freezer, and a couple more in the fridge. Well, I managed to forget about the two freezer bottles for a while, but when I took them out, they were thankfully unfrozen. I mean, these beers were confirmed for liquid tier. Anywho, I crack open one bottle, and as I pour it into my glass (and it poured just like any other beer would; it was not frozen in any sense of the word), it began to pile onto itself, and slowly turned into a beer slurpee. It had the exact texture of any slushy I've consumed previously. Can anyone explain what happened?", "summary": "I just watched as liquid beer was morph-poured into some sort of beer slushy; lol wut?"} {"id": "t3_25c5s5", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [24/F] almost cheated and don't know what to do (LDR)", "post": "I'm a 24 year old girl in a committed long distance relationship of a year and a half. My boyfriend is on the other side of the country, but will be moving to be close to me in a few months. Last night, I got super drunk at a campus event and ended up walking back with a guy friend. He was drunk too, and came inside and we were just hanging out and watching TV. I don't really remember most of what happened because I was super drunk, but I think we almost started making out. He stopped and asked if I still was dating my boyfriend.. and I am, so luckily we stopped. Nothing really happened besides a lot of cuddling and flirting, but I feel like I had completely no idea what I was doing and if he hadn't said anything, I'm worried we might have hooked up. HELP... the question is, should I tell my boyfriend? I don't have a lot of friends out at school here, and this is one of my only guy friends, so I don't want him to hate him forever. There's also a chance this would cause irreparable damage in my relationship. Did I cheat? Do I tell him? SOS Reddit", "summary": "I'm in a long distance relationship, got super drunk, and almost hooked up with a friend. Do I tell?"} {"id": "t3_2fvbps", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "I[17/M] broke up with my gf[16/F], and I regret it and want to be back with her.", "post": "So I broke up with her because, at the time, I felt like I didn't really value our relationship since we hadn't spent that much time together recently, and we have already taken a one week break from each other during which I didn't miss her.\n\n When I broke up with her a week ago, I left the option on the table for us to get back together after volleyball season is over in a month, and she said maybe to that. But to be honest, I'm not sure if I can wait that long to ask her back out. What should I do?", "summary": "I broke up with my gf and now I want to be with her again, but I don't know how to go about it. Help, please."} {"id": "t3_1er0l2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(27M) Having erection issue with girlfriend (22f).. Would this be a deal breaker to you? And how would you like to be told about it?", "post": "Backstory: I (27M) am currently seeing a 22F. So I've been seeing my partner for about 3-4 months now and I've been having trouble maintaining my erections, I have actually been using an old supply of Viagra pretty much every time we have had sex (Because yep it's not the first time it's happened to me, it happened with my previous partner too).. Everytime I've tried without Viagra I've failed to maintain my erection.\n\nNow she doesn't know I've been using Viagra and I'm scared to bring it up with her.. In case she thinks I don't find her attractive or something along those lines because it's the complete opposite, she's stunning, or she's more experience so Im afraid she will be turned off by the whole thing since she's younger (I'm 27 and shes 22) and more experience, and most likely hasn't come across this before with her other partners.. And it makes me feel inadequate / less of a man for it..\n\nI've had blood tests from the doctors and my testosterone levels and everything are fine. So it seems the problem is all mental and in my head.\n\nSo how do I go about explaining this to my girlfriend without scaring her off and thinking it's something wrong with her?!", "summary": "Having trouble maintaining erections with new-ish girlfriend without Viagra (And also my previous partner).. How do I explain my problem to her without hopefully losing her and the relationship?"} {"id": "t3_yno19", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Need help phrasing a breakup - he's a friend, but the situation is slightly complicated.", "post": "So I [F25] was seeing this guy [M25] for about a month or two a few months ago, and then decided to just be friends - I had been getting over a pretty big breakup, and he didn't want to rush into anything anyway. Fast forward a while, and we had started talking again, but we didn't date because I was helping out a male friend of mine and letting him move in with me. I understood why that would make him uncomfortable, and we still stayed friends. I started dating somebody else, as he had made it clear we weren't going to date while I was living with my male roommate [27]. \n\nHowever, out of nowhere he asked me out on a date...I'm not serious or exclusive with the new guy [28], so I said yes...we only had one date, and after that I told him I didn't really feel like it was a date, and it felt like we were still just friends. \n\nLast week we were hanging out as friends, and he basically told me he loves me. He even asked me to move across the country with him (he recently told me that he decided he was going to move in two months for his career).\n\nI've done the long distance thing, and I don't want to do it again. So obviously I can use that as a scapegoat, but I also don't want to lead him on - I just don't see him like that. Even though he's only a few months younger than me, he seems a few years behind me. So how do I make it clear without breaking his heart (which I feel I already have...). He's very sweet and a great friend, just not somebody I would date (even though he is gorgeous) - I just feel like we're at different maturity and intellectual levels. Other than that, he is really great though. Do I say that? Would that hurt his feelings even more?", "summary": "Guy I'm friends with expressed his love for me and wants me to do long distance/move with him. How do I let him down gently?"} {"id": "t3_2r0nun", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [17M] having every girl I end up getting close with, accidentally stolen by my best-friend [17 M]", "post": "For the past two years, me and my friend have been close as fuck. We like the same music, we play the same games and we both have similar interests. The main difference is he is the hot, mysterious guy who smokes and I'm his tag-along shadow. \n\nFor longer than I can remember, I will start talking to a girl - I will get close to them and start to think something worthwhile is going to come out of it. Then they meet him. It's not his fault, and to be fair to him he doesn't flirt with them or try to steal with them and if he knows I had a thing with them, or I liked them or I dated them has always backed off and told them no. \n\nI don't know what I can do about it, last night at a new years party I had a girl I had been seeing end things with me. I was wondering if she had a reason, and said she just wasn't ready for a relationship and was hoping we could be friends. Today she send my best friend a text saying how much she enjoyed last night, wanted to spend more time with him and implied a sexual interest. \n\nHe straight up told me, and apologized/said he wasn't interested in her. But this isn't the first time it's happened, like I said. Girl's love him, and I could have met them that night, been friends with them for months or even been dating them only for them to want him over me upon meeting him. \n\nI don't know what to do, he is a great friend and like a brother to me but I can't help but constantly feel inferior to him whenever I become interested in someone.", "summary": "My best-friend is better than me, and is having a serious impact on me having any chance with girls I meet. "} {"id": "t3_18o0yk", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Think I[20m] am falling for her[22f] again.", "post": "So this girl and I went out for three months but we broke up(my fault, i fucked up). I moved on or at least I though I had. Thing is, she is now dating one of my best friends and now I am developing feelings again. Every time I hang out with both of them, I start to feel insanely jealous of my buddy. Normally, I would just distance myself from the situation but this is one of my really good friends and I hang out with him all the time. Could this just be a case of \"the grass is always greener on the other side\"? I just don't know what I should do.\n\n***[", "summary": "] Dated for 3 months, broke up, she is now dating best freind, i am devoloping feelings again.***"} {"id": "t3_29j16p", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Finding a job in Japan", "post": "I currently live in Ishikawa, Japan and work at an Eikaiwa (English conversation school) as a teacher. While I love the teaching, the job leaves much to be desired and I want to find a new job in Japan when my contract ends in December. I really don't want to switch to a different Eikaiwa, as I'm pretty sure the conditions will be about the same. I also would really prefer to stay in Ishikawa, preferably around Kanazawa as that's where I am currently living, have friends, and am dating someone. The job itself doesn't really matter, but, if I had my druthers, I would really like to teach at a real Japanese school. As I mentioned before, I really love the teaching part of my current job, I just dislike the other, non-teaching aspects.\nCredentials: Before coming to Japan, I got a 60 hour TEFL certification online. I majored in Linguistics and wrote my thesis on phonotactic pattern acquisition which is strongly related to language acquisition. My Japanese is getting better (I studied for a year in college and have ramped up my study time recently), but I'm not very conversational. I have a 3-year VISA for work in education.\nI'm really not sure where to start, so I came to Reddit for any helpful suggestions. My current plan is, whether or not I find a job, I will stay in Japan at least a couple of months after my contract ends. I have quite a bit of money saved up and can live comfortably in my current town for quite some time without a job. Obviously, I would prefer a job.", "summary": "I live in Japan and am looking for a new job, preferably in teaching. What's a good place to start?"} {"id": "t3_kax6a", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I think I just overheard a plot for a murder or something like it and am unsure what to do.", "post": "I was going to the bathroom and my shower has one of those vents that opens up to outside. In my apartment building, the vent leads to the back porch where I step out now and then for a smoke, and I have about an 8 inch wide by 5 inch tall window I can look out of and hear things pretty clearly. While going to the bathroom, I could overhear a scruffy voice, maybe a guy in his late 40's or so, talking to 2 younger kids about his time in jail. I was pretty much intrigued at this point, so I decided to start eavesdropping on the conversation. He explains to them what it's like in jail and talks about how they have to wear red jumpsuits and things like that. Conversation progresses and most of it is hard to hear, but I start picking up on things that weird me out. Like saying, \"How would we split up the 40mil?\" \"You might lose your father, but I lost my mother so I can sympathize.\" Talking about \"taking care of\" something. Before they left, one of the younger people disappeared for a few seconds, there was silence, and then when he returned I could hear what sounded like guns cocking and taking out the clips and putting them back in, and the older guy said, \"Careful with that.\" They left, and I sat in the bathroom just kind of shaken and unsure what I had just overheard. I just moved to this neighborhood and the people in my building are kind of strange and I'm not sure if I'm in the best location. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I can't imagine anything \"innocent\" about what they were discussing.", "summary": "People talking outside on the porch about \"taking care of\" something, talks of dividing large amounts of money, talks of prison, and what sounded like guns cocking. Not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_2lesp5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [30 M] wife [29 F] seems to enjoy watching my jealousy", "post": "So she had an emotional connection to some guy a few years ago. She wasn't in love but loved his attention, and he used that to try to get laid. We got past it. But we were at a Halloween party this weekend and this guy friend of hers hit on her. I didn't even see it but she told me about it.\n\nThis wasn't the first time it happened. He'll say shit to her around me or in front of me. He once tried to make a move but she stopped that. He's the SO of her friend. \n\nSo she had always told me it was nothing, ignore him, he's an idiot. She has reassured me because of what happened before, which almost ended us.\n\nBut this time she tells me how hot it was to see me react. She said I tensed up and she could see how angry I was. I hadn't even noticed. I mean yeah the guy makes me angry and tense, but I didn't hear that. \n\nBut more than that it shows me that my wife actually seems to like me being mad or jealous about this. I didn't know that. So what the hell is that about? What do I do about it?", "summary": "My wife seems to enjoy when I react with jealousy to her being hit on. Why and what do I do about it?"} {"id": "t3_3buqem", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29F] with my boyfriend [32M] found list of all the things he didn't like about his ex", "post": "We have been together for 8 months. I was looking at recipes he has in his kitchen for something to make for dinner. They are just scraps of paper recipes and magazine cut outs. In the middle of all these recipes is this list on a post-it - it's a list of negative things about his ex girlfriend. He must have forgotten it was there. \n\nIt has things on it to refer to her like \"selfish, dramatic, self-centered, terrible table manners, terrible mother, not very girly\" ect. It also has physical things on it that he didn't like \"fat arms, strange legs, smelly, hairy ass\". He never talks about her in this way to me, he always tries to sound respectful about her. I've seen her picture, she looks quite pretty to me! Her arms don't look any fatter than mine! \n\nIt's really unnerved me - I guess because I feel if he could write this list about her, whats to stop him writing one about me? You trust your partner with all the things that might not be perfect about yourself. The idea that someone would take physical flaws I cannot change and use them as reasons not to be with me - this makes me uncomfortable. \n\nWhat to do? Is this a red flag? Shall I tell him I found it and ask about it?", "summary": "Found list of all the things bf didn't like about his ex in a bunch of recipes. List including physical flaws. Made me uncomfortable."} {"id": "t3_mxauf", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Welcome home, Roxy!", "post": "[Roxanne catching some Z's and wearing her fashionable snuggie to keep her warm](\n\nEarlier this week, my doggy Roxy was diagnosed with [IVDD, Inter-Vertebral Disc Disease] which resulted in a herniated disc that left her back legs and tail paralyzed. She had her surgery on Tuesday to decompress her spine, bring the swelling down and to repair the ruptured disc. Even with the surgery, it is uncertain if Roxy will ever feel her back legs and tail again. The next week should show possible signs of any function returning.\n\nThis evening I was able to bring her home and I am so happy she is getting some rest. Her brother Leroy was excited to see her (I let them be re-acquainted for a few moments with the barrier of her kennel in between them), but for the next 4-6 weeks, Roxy is in my room sans her brother so that she can be solitarily confined and kept quiet and comfortable in her crate to rest.\n\nToday starts a path of giving my little girl a routine of daily physical therapy to keep the tone and muscle in her back legs, expressing her bladder 3-4 times a day since she cannot urinate on her own, and making sure she is laying in dry and sanitary bedding. As time goes on, we will see what happens with Roxy's nerves and feeling in her legs, but the best thing to do is take it a day at a time. Best of all, I'm already confident that I am a pro at loving the shit out of her :) I absolutely adore this baby girl! I know the first few days are going to be rough, but it will only get better from here on out! I'm so glad my Roxy is home!", "summary": "my dog's first day home after spinal surgery. She is resting comfortably and today mark's the day I help her to start getting better!"} {"id": "t3_4vkffi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why is my now ex-boyfriend [21 M] so upset about our breakup and asking me [19 F] if we can stay friends when he was the one that chose to end things?", "post": "We had been together for almost 9 months. I know that's not a long time but we were living together for almost all of it. \nAnyway, things had been rough lately, so I proposed some solutions. Still it was hard for me to get him to have any sort of conversation with me, because he claimed he saw no benefit in \"just upsetting me\", so he wouldn't say what was on his mind. And then I thought breaking up would be a waste because I still loved him, but gave him the option to end it if he wanted. \nOf course, he chose to end it without 'putting up a fight for us', to word it that way. And now he's the one all upset and asking if we can stay friends. Why does he care if he couldn't bring himself to try and keep us together?\nIs that even fair of him to ask? Will staying friends ever be possible if I still love him and want things to be normal?", "summary": "If my boyfriend was the one who chose to end things between us, why is he so upset about it and insistent that we remain friends?"} {"id": "t3_4czlki", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (33F)just found out my fianc\u00e9 (26M) has no one to invite to our wedding. Together 3years.", "post": "Sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar. I've been crying for the past hour... So here goes.. We're starting to plan our wedding and I find out that my fianc\u00e9 won't have anyone to invite to the wedding.\n\nI had my sister over to help me start planning our wedding. Well when we got to the guest list, I'm list all my family and friends. The list was getting pretty long. So, my sister asked my fianc\u00e9 for names, and he stated flatly that he didn't have any one to invite. I know that his mom left when he was you and his dad passed, but I figured there would be aunts and uncles.. But he says he hasn't seen or heard from any of them since he was a kid and wouldn't even know how to contact them. Plus, it'd be weird he says he doesn't know them at all..\n\nI asked him about a few of his old friends he used to hang out with. And he said he didn't want to talk about it. When I finally pried the answer out of him, he said his friends didn't like me, and so they stopped invite him to hang out.. So they drifted a part and haven't talked in years. So yea there it is... He has no friends because he chose me...\n\nsorry for if this is rambling. I'm so angry at myself I don't know how I missed him not ever hanging out with anyone. I guess when he'd go off riding he went alone. \n\nHe left an hour ago to go ride his motorcycle to clear his mind.. He seemed upset.. I hope he comes back... I'm here heart broken.", "summary": "Fiance won't have anyone for his side of the wedding party. Doesn't have any friends. and I seem to be the reason.."} {"id": "t3_vwm37", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Messy situation.. would love some advice.", "post": "Hi Reddit.\n\nI recently graduated from University (M, 21), and had been with her since first year ( she's 22)..So we'd been together 2 years and 3 months.\n\nI panicked at the end of this term, it being our last term... and felt trapped and unsure about the future. That unsurity led to us breaking up, with me stating that I didn't love her as much anymore and I couldn't continue the relationship if i wasn't honouring her love.\nFast forward a few weeks.. and fuelled by alcohol and abandon, I slept with a mutual friend of ours (without her currently knowing). However, after sleeping with this other female a couple of times I felt physically sick.\n\nNow a month down the line, I feel terrible. I can't do anything without it reminding me of my ex, and I feel disgusted in myself for ever treating her badly by sleeping with this mutual friend. Add to that the guilt of playing with this mutual friends feelings..\n\nI want my Ex back... but what should I do? Should I be straight and tell her that I slept with this other girl. I think in a way being with someone else made me realise how much I had loved her.. but that's incredibly selfish and I feel horrible for that.\nDon't know how to approach it.. would love some advice.", "summary": "Broke up with ex because I didn't think I loved her anymore and was scared about the future (panic), slept with a mutual friend and now am filled with loathing and regret."} {"id": "t3_pzjqo", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what's an irrational/silly fear - that you know you shouldn't be afraid of - that you've carried with you from childhood to adulthood?", "post": "So I figured that you all might need an example, so I'll go first:\n\nLast night I had trouble sleeping and I found myself lost in deep thought about this and that. While trying to doze, I realized that my toes were out from underneath my covers and dangling over the edge of my bed. This sparked a fear in me, a fear that some great unknown would be totally capable of pulling me out from the comfort of my cozy cocoon and off to some terrifying nowhere. What made it weirder was the fact that I was only scared as long as my feet/toes were out from underneath the covers. It was as if my comforter was some sort of force field, which just adds to the silliness of the whole thing. Anyways, I immediately proceeded to pull my feet back within the boundaries of my mattress and tucked them safely under the covers which immediately made me feel more comfortable and secure.\n\nI'm twenty-four, I'm a grown ass man, I know that there are no monsters under my bed, and I know that there's nothing that goes bump in the night that's going to come along and disturb me - aside from the kicks my girlfriend dishes out in her sleep while laying in bed next to me. That's not the point. The point was that a fear that I had long ago discarded from my childhood came rearing its head last night. It got me to thinking about whether anyone else has any interesting fears like this from their childhood that they find still haunt them occasionally in adulthood.", "summary": "My toes were out from under the covers and dangling from the edge of the bed last night. I got scared and thought something was going to come along and attack me."} {"id": "t3_4gklvc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23F] ex's [25M] mom [40'sF] shared a \"On This Day\" memory of my ex, his brother and myself on Facebook. His new girlfriend [20's?F] blew up on me.", "post": "I'll keep this short.\n\nMy ex, Ross and I broke up over a year ago now. We started growing apart and wanted different things out of life. We have kept things civil, kept each other on social media but we don't talk, unless we see each other in public. I have decided to stay single until I finish my masters, but he now has a new girlfriend, Krystal. \n\nI was very close with Ross's family. I still have them all on Facebook but we don't talk unless it's to wish each other a Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, etc. Only a handful of times a year out of respect for Ross. They do \"like\" my posts, especially his mother. I asked Ross if he would rather I unfriend them, but he says he's cool with it and not to worry.\n\nThe other day, I received a notification from Ross's mom. She shared a \"memory\" with me in it; it was of myself, Ross and his younger brother when we were on vacation three years ago. His mom wrote \"Miss the beach! Can't wait for summer!\"\n\nI thought it was a little weird and awkward to say the least, but I didn't say anything. A few hours later, I received a Facebook message from Krystal, saying:\n\n\"u/throwxyz22, I don't know why you feel the need to still keep tabs on Ross's family, but you need to back off. Accept the fact that he is MY boyfriend and please remove yourself as his friend as well as the rest of the family's. I have replaced you and you serve no purpose to be in their lives anymore. Grow up and get over yourself.\"\n\nI haven't even responded, but I am so confused. I have met Krystal once when I bumped into them grocery shopping. Ross introduced us and we exchanged pleasantries; she seemed really kind.\n\nWhat do I say? Do I say anything to Ross or his mother? Talk to Krystal herself? I didn't even share the post! I'm so confused.", "summary": "My ex's mom shared a Facebook memory that included my ex, his brother and myself. His girlfriend sent me an angry Facebook message telling me to get over them."} {"id": "t3_1a36pu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am a 23f who is more physically attracted to my 25m coworker than my 25m boyfriend. Is our relationship doomed?", "post": "I am a 23f in a 3 year relationship with my 25m boyfriend. I love my SO, we have similar personalities and we have a ton of fun together doing everything from staying in and playing video games to going out drinking together. We have a great relationship and he's everything I would want in a man as far as personality goes. Over these past 3 years though I've somewhat lost my physical attraction from him though. We still have sex about once a week, but he isn't the same man I fantasize about anymore.\n\nNow here is where it gets more complicated. I have a 25m coworker at my job who has been working at my job for just over a year. I'm not sure what clicked, but about a month ago (nothing happened then between my SO and I) I've realized I've grown physically attracted to him over time to the point now that I keep catching myself thinking about him. I know it's mutual too as of a month ago because we spend quite a bit of time together talking on a messenger service at work (yes, I acknowledge I'm an idiot for taking this long to notice). Although it may be his aim, I am not interested in pursuing a relationship or any physical contact with him though (although I do have guilty thoughts about what could be).\n\nI plan to cut off contact via the online messenger so I don't have an opportunity to speak with him privately at the very least. But still, I'm most worried what this means for my relationship. Because I have physical urges for someone other than my bf does this mean that our relationship is doomed? Is it more fair to my boyfriend since I'm not physically attracted to him anymore that I break things off? Or, is there a way to regain physical attraction for my boyfriend?", "summary": "I'm a 23f that is attracted to my 25m coworker, does this mean my relationship with my 25m boyfriend that love but am not as physically attracted to is doomed?"} {"id": "t3_3z7acw", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Save for grad school or pay down existing student loans?", "post": "My wife is applying for grad schools right now and with her previous grades and work experience, I'd be surprised if she didn't get in. She is looking at MHA programs (Master of Healthcare Administration). It's basically the same as an MBA, but with a concentration in healthcare. She currently works in healthcare management, but has more or less found the ceiling as far as her earnings and advancement go with her current undergrad degree. She has asked and her employer will not pay for any portion of her graduate education.\n\nHere's where things get a little more complicated, she still has about $20,000 left on her undergrad loans at 4.875%. She may have to take loans out for grad school, but we can probably swing most of the cost out of pocket if we slice our budget down pretty drastically. We've paid about $12,000 in the last year toward her loans.\n\nMy question is, would it be better to continue aggressively paying down her current loans (at a rate of about $1,000 per month as we have been right now) or to pay the minimum on the loans (about $200) per month, and put the rest into a savings account for grad school costs? Obviously the savings account will accrue less interest than the loans will cost (1% savings interest vs. 4.875% interest on the loans), but I don't know what kind of rates she'd get on new loans if we'd need them to pay for grad school.\n\nIf she starts in the fall of 2016 we'd be able to save about $8,000-$10,000 depending on what our tax refund looks like this year. That would cover about 1/5 of the cost right off the bat, but I don't know which is going to be the better option.\n\nSome other stats, we're both in our early 30s, no kids, own our home (with mortgage), own our car (paid off, reliable), no credit card debit, no debt other than mortgage and student loans, 6-8 month emergency fund is fully stocked, household income of $135,000 per year.", "summary": "Wife is considering grad school, already has $20,000 in student loans. We can save money and pay for a chunk of school right away, will reduce additional loans we'd have to take out. What should we do?"} {"id": "t3_2zjk9p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[26M] get unreasonably agitated with my parents [50s] when I visit.", "post": "My parents and I live a few hundred miles apart typically, as I'm in grad school in a different city. By all accounts, we have a good relationship: while they were overbearing during my teenage years (and I, obviously, was a typical teenager), we get along perfectly fine otherwise.\n\nThe strange thing, though, is that during my current week-long visit to see them, I really can't stand being around them. Every little quirk of theirs annoys the crap out of me. I spent stretches internally fuming or offended about some small comment they made. I even see my socks missing and start wondering if they did something stupid like throw it away only to catch myself and realize that I put my socks somewhere else. I get that adult children sometimes chafe at the prospect of living under their parents' roofs, but this seems like a rather extreme version of it.\n\nThe good thing so far is that I'm self aware enough to know that they aren't really doing anything wrong, and that my brain is on some weird easily-offended/annoyed-overdrive, so I've managed to check any potential outbursts. But that means that I basically sit around the house quiet and not talking, and they're starting to notice/wonder why. Also worth noting that this is the second or third time I've felt this way.\n\nAnyone else get like this? Anyone manage to \"fix\" this?", "summary": "I'm get in an extremely agitated state of mind when I visit my parents, and they're starting to notice. Help!"} {"id": "t3_2zbd8p", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Lost the excitement for college", "post": "I'm a freshman this year and I have just kind of lost the excitement for college. I rushed a fraternity last semester and did marching band which both took up so much time and I payed more attention to that than I did to school, thus leaving me with a 1.4 gpa. I lost my academic scholarship due to that and, if I don't get a 3.5 this semester so I have a yearly gpa of a 2.5, I will lose the remainder of my scholarships and grants and won't be able to afford to stay in school. My major is Innovation and Entrepreneurship and I'm minoring in Film making; two degrees that I don't entirely need a degree to do what I want with my life. College has been expected of me my entire life (if I graduate, I will be the first person on my dad's side of the family to finish college and my mom's side of the family is filled with scholars so there is a lot of pressure riding on me.) At first, dropping out repulsed me and I swore I would try my hardest and I have been. But I'm starting to wonder I'd it's worth all the effort I'm putting in and the time in giving up. I'm developing a business plan for a small business that I would like to start that would allow me to travel and then get an associates degree in general business through online courses. I've been thinking and praying about that a lot and it really seems like a more fun option and it's what I could really have fun doing until I either decide to settle down or get tired and want to move on to the next thing. I really don't want to leave any of my friends that I've made behind or leave the frat I'm in, but I just have lost the passion for college and really want to just get started with my life. What do you recommend? Am I just going through a stupid, rebellious phase that I will regret later in life? Or am I making valid points? I just want to know what y'all think. Thanks all!", "summary": "Freshman this year has to get good grades this semester to afford to stay in but lost the drive for it and, instead, wants to start his own business while doing online classes for an associates degree."} {"id": "t3_4gq2dx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22F] roommate [20F] is dropped out of school, meets and bangs Tinder guys every day/night, and is very unmotivated. I need some suggestions on how to deal with another year and a half of living with her.", "post": "I've had her as a roommate for about a year now. We got along pretty well until about a few months ago. Ever since she broke up with her long term bf about 5 months ago, she got addicted to Tinder and meets guys, bring them over to our apartment, sleeps with them, and showers with them in the bathroom I have to share with her. This has been worse lately because it's a different guy everyday. She dropped out of her first semester in community college and doesn't get much hours at work so all she ever does is meet random Tinder dudes, bring them over to our apartment, bang them, and repeat. She's making her own life choices so I don't have anything to say about it but I'm a little disgusted by it and thus, I don't want anything to do with her. However, we resigned the lease for next year about a month ago and I have a feeling it's going to get worse and worse. I can't stand looking at her or having a conversation with her because it's always about guys and how much drama she has in her life. I'm about to graduate college and am studious so we have nothing in common. I'm also a little scared that maybe ONE of the guys that she will bring over in the future will turn out to be a psycho and do something to her or maybe even me. She barely knows them and you never know what kind of guys you're dealing with. \n\nI might be over reacting and just getting pissed at her because she isn't living her life according to me but I just want to find a way where I don't have to worry about her and a random dude banging in the shower, being loud, leaving the kitchen messy, and having a very unmotivated person around me. Should I even confront her about this or should I just keep ignoring her and her choices and try my best to never be home? Should I tell her how she's making poor choices from sleeping with random guys every night to dropping out of freaking community college? Should I find a different apartment?", "summary": "Roommate has been making poor choices and I don't want anything to do with her but I signed a lease for another year and I can't even handle being around her for a second. Need suggestions on how to keep peace."} {"id": "t3_gl78r", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Little dog scared of big dogs (with a twist)", "post": "I have a 2.5 year old Pembroke Welsh Corgi. She's small for her breed. She pretty much stopped growing at 5 mo (when I got her) and she's only about 17 pounds. \n\nShe is terrified of SOME mid to large sized dogs. 9 times of 10 she'll approach a bigger dog, they'll turn to sniff her and she'll FREAK out. Yelping, crying, squealing, running away....you'd think she had been bit. After she recovers she'll proceed to bark and bark at the offending dog for no reason. Today she freaked out when a slightly larger Sheltie sniffed her. \n\nThe twist is that we have several friends with BIG dogs that she doesn't display the same tendencies with. We have a friend with a 100+ pound German Shepard she loves to chase and another friend with a Great Dane mix who she also chases and gets along with. \n\nI've had her play with Boxers, Golden Retrievers, etc....I thought it might be the other dog's temperament (I thought it was only super excited dogs), but the Sheltie today was super gentle and very scared and timid of my dog's erratic behavior. \n\nI can't for the life of me understand it....or figure out how to train her out of it since it seems very random with some dogs. I mean she really can cry wolf and scream and whines like her life depends on it...anyone have any thoughts?", "summary": "My little dog is scared shitless of SOME big dogs, but other big dogs she loves and plays with just fine. (not breed specific)"} {"id": "t3_2caszn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25 F] boyfriend [27 M] has only come once in his life..ever.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two months and have recently started having sex (it was my first time, but not his). \n\nI spent this past weekend at his place and we had sex on several occasions, but he never came. It was only after one of those times that he told me he has only ever come once in his life (this includes during any type of sex OR masturbation). \n\nHe has no problem getting an erection and keeping it up for long periods of time. He mentioned that used to try masturbating to porn, but stopped because he couldn't bring himself to come. The only time he did come was during sex with his ex girlfriend (using a condom) which was a long term relationship. \n\nHe has assured me that it is nothing I am doing wrong, but that this has been a reoccurring issue for him. He also said that he thinks it might be a mental block/performance anxiety in wanting to please me so badly.\n\nI've asked him to try not to worry so much about my own pleasure, but to focus more on himself, but it hasn't worked so far (though he did mention that the last time we had sex before I left was the most pleasurable for him and that he felt close to coming). \n\nHe has also suggested that we try different types of condoms as the ones we are using are a bit snug according to him; though I think this may help a little, I don't believe it fully explains the issue.\n\nI really care about him and want him to enjoy sex as much as possible. I am inexperienced and am trying to figure things out so any advice, anecdotes, thoughts, suggestions, etc. would be much appreciated.", "summary": "My boyfriend has only ever come once in his life and I want to help, but am not sure how to do that."} {"id": "t3_ptu4h", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, who in your neighborhood to you envy, think is \"cool\", or want to be like when you are older.", "post": "I walk around my neighborhood quite often and there is always one guy I notice and am jealous of. \n\nHe is always sitting on his porch, starting at about 6:15AM, smoking a pipe, drinking coffee or beer (sometimes both), and reading. Last night, I saw his wife come out and tell him dinner was ready and it was at that moment that I decided retirement is right for me. \n\nHe also walks his dog a lot throughout the day. He is the man and also some what intimidating since I will have zero balls to talk to him.\n\nDo you have people like this in your neighborhood?", "summary": "Awesome old guy who sits on his porch all day smoking a pipe, drinking beer or coffee, and reading. 6:30 AM - 9:00 PM or too cold (so it seems)."} {"id": "t3_2lh8s5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17F] can't get away from abusive ex boyfriend. [17M]", "post": "I apologize in advance, because I am on Mobile. \n\nI dated, let's call him john, for almost 2 years. Our relationship started out so happy reddit.. I fell so fast and so hard for him, it being my first relationship. He treated me great, bought me gifts, took my virginity. \n\nWe broke up March of this year because he wanted to explore other relationships, and I was completely devastated. I had never felt so sad and alone, so I desperately tried to keep him in my life. I did all of his homework on top of mine, I bought him expensive gifts and treated him better then I treated myself.. And eventually he came back around and then it all started. He knew he I would do anything to keep him in my life.. He would yell at me and throw things at me, and call me a whore and a slut and a bitch. And I took it, because I thought that's how you treated the person you loved, as I was abused as a child. I stuck around and gave him arm and limb. I gave up my life and happiness for someone who didn't care about me. And I realize that now.\n\nIt never stopped, he openly slept with people and bragged about it. He bragged about all the girls he talked to, and then when it fell through he'd come back and tell me he loved me and wanted to marry me.. These past few months have been horrific.. I have never been so sad and depressed I feel like shit about my life, because he degrades it in every way. I've tried to kill myself over him. \n\nHe won't talk to me unless He needs something, I still do his homework I still do everything for him, and he doesn't care and I want out now.. I've tried NC but I break every time he asks me to do another homework assignment. I'm attached to someone who doesn't love me.. I'm terrified to be alone. He doesn't let me have friends he doesn't let me do anything.. I created this situation for myself and I don't know how to get out.", "summary": "I wanted abusive ex to stay with me so I did things for him, he's gotten abusive and has almost hit me, and I don't know how to leave now. I'm scared reddit."} {"id": "t3_1puj18", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How can I [M21] maximize the sexiness of this situation with her [F21]?", "post": "I'm expecting a 'booty call' in a few weeks and am looking for exciting ways to approach it.\n\n**Quick background**: girl, M, and I met about 6 months ago at (where else?) a party, hit it off, and have been enamored by each other ever since. She recently ended a 3 month relationship that was doomed from the start and after taking some months to recover, we've gone on two casual dates (outside our social get-togethers) in the midst of our busy schedules. \n\n**Situation**: Now given our work and school lives, the scenario will, for better or worse, result in me driving to her place in the late evening, chatting mindlessly and drinking for a bit, perhaps putting a movie on, and then going to business once we can't wait any longer. Nothing too hot-and-heavy, at the very most, second-base material.\n\nBut I want to try something special. What would people recommend? \n\nBecause our sexual tension is **palpable**, I was wondering if the moment we meet inside her place, I immediately go in for the kiss - a passionate, but brief one. A sort of 'preview' kiss that personifies the struggle to contain that tension (*ugh* that reads like bad fan fiction).\n\nAny smooth suggestions to make things more memorable?", "summary": "Going to have (at most) second-base sexy time with new female friend, how do I avoid the cliche?"} {"id": "t3_vz2mv", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I feel responsible for my ex's life decisions, should I?", "post": "So about 5 year I dated a girl while I was in collage, things were great and she was a really nice girl. She seemed to have her life set out, finishing collage, getting a job, settling down, etc. \n\nFast forward 2 years and things arnt going to good anymore, we argue alot, mainly becuase she slowly began to stop me seeing friends, so I do what any sane man does, break up with her.\n\nIm not a dick about it, but I tell her my true feelings, and at the time the break seems fairly well taken, aside from tears (from both of us mind).\n\nAnyway, after the innitial couple days, it must have sunk in more and she takes the break up hard in the end. After a month of skipping classes she drops out of collage to get a job waitrissing, while moving in with her new boyfriend. According to her friends she has started smoking, drinking heavily, and doing drugs.\n\nOf course I dont have any say in what she does, and everyone goes on benders from time to time. Its not until I find out shes pregnant, at the age of 18/19, that I start feeling like this all happened becuase of me.\n\nIf I had never broken up with her she would have finish collage, and would probobly be alot better of than she is now. To this day I still feel responsible.", "summary": "Broke up with my girlfriend, her life went to shit, she is now 23 with a 4 year old kid, waitressing with her fianc\u00e9 that she hates. Is it my fault?"} {"id": "t3_18aopv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm going into my first year of university in two weeks. I've also been very antisocial the last few years. How do I make this the best year possible?", "post": "Hi AskReddit!\n\nBeen lurking here for a while now, and thought I'd posit a question that's been worrying me lately.\n\nJust a little bit of context:\nI live in Sydney, Australia, and took a gap year after graduating high school (unsure if there is an equivalent of a gap year for those living in other countries, but it's basically an optional year off before university/college starts here in Oz).\nNow, I intended that gap year to be a year to get some more work at my part time job and save a little cash, but due to some unforeseen circumstances (girlfriend dumping me, the tremendous power of my laziness/procrastination), the year quickly turned into me being a hermit and staying home, moping about.\n\nNow, having grown accustomed to the life of the hermit, I'm tremendously nervous about entering university; the whole social aspect, in particular, is incredibly frightening to me.\n\nI want to be more social, expand my knowledge/experience, be more engaging as a person, get out of the house more, and get back into the dating game.\n\nAny tips Reddit?", "summary": "Hermit for a year, and finally going into first year of university/college. I want to have a better year than my last. How can I achieve this?"} {"id": "t3_1vtevf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend (21F) dumped me a few days ago. I (21F) am currently fluctuating between seething anger and depression-like apathy. How do I get on with my life ASAP?", "post": "Not much to say. Almost 2 year relationship down the drain. I got dumped on Friday and I felt almost fine for the entire weekend, but yesterday/today I was bouncing around between being furious and not giving a single fuck. I spent the whole weekend doing whatever I wanted to do so I could feel better, and I exercise 40-60 minutes daily. I'm eating healthy foods and getting enough sleep.\n\nI already got rid of everything my ex ever gave to me, and I deleted all pictures/social media stuff. I will not be contacting her ever again, or any of our mutual friends for at least a few months. I guess I just don't know what else I can do to move on. I know some of this shit takes time, but I would like to do anything else that might help while I wait because I hate the overload of angry emotions and the complete lack of feeling that I'm dealing with right now.\n\nAlso, my boobs have been hurting badly since the breakup. Hormones? Vengeful breasts? Why me, boobies?", "summary": "Dumped. I'm angry or apathetic depending on the time of day. What else can I do to forget everything?"} {"id": "t3_3elx77", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18F] and friend [27M] started to kind of date. I'm scared that he's taking advantage of me...", "post": "Hello, I'm a 18 y/o student and I met this guy who is my sisters colleague a few weeks ago. He's a doctor and expressed an interest in me a few months ago when he saw a picture of me and my sister. She never told me because she thinks he's a \"man-whore\" and wanted to protect me. \nI don't see a problem whit a young, good looking and successful man sleeping with some women and not wanting to commit to a serious relationship. Whatever floats your boat, right?\nMy sister met with some of her friends from the hospital (she's a nurse) in a cafe and he appeared out of nowhere. He started to flirt whit me and wanted to go somewhere after we were done eating to which my sister insisted to come along. I thought he wanted to seduce my her by being nice to her little sister. I was wrong. He flirted with me, touched my hand, asked me questions and after we were done cruising around in his car he wanted to have my number. My sister reluctantly agreed and let me give it to him. We have been texting non stop ever since. We went out a couple of times and he's been incredibly nice to me. \nWe went to his apartment once and made out etc. we didn't have sex but we kind of plan to this week. \nBut I'm afraid that he's just using me and won't even look at me once we had sex. Though I found out that he asked for advice from a mutual fried of his and my sisters about how to approach me and if she thought that the age gap was weird and so on. \nWhat go you guys think? Should I wait until I'm really sure or just let him go? \n\nNote: English is not my first language and I'm on my mobile so excuse any mistakes.", "summary": "I [18F] met a doctor [27M]. Known to be sleeping around with various girls, scared that he just wants sex and nothing more..."} {"id": "t3_nvjae", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Saw problems in marriage. Suggested to wife we fix problems. She ignored. I left. Now she wants to work on things. I said no. Did I do the right thing?", "post": "Ok, so here's our story. I've known my wife for almost 9 years. We started as friends with benefits between 2003-2005 on and off and got serious in 2005. Our relationship was always rocky to a point but never was totally unbearable. We went to therapy when things got to a certain point, and things would get better temporarily, but then go right back to the way they were.\n\nAfter a while we stopped going to therapy due to varying circumstances. Within the last 15 months things have been getting progressively worse. When they were getting really bad I told her she was treating me bad and we should go back to therapy. My words went in one ear and out the other. In October things got physical between us and I was arrested for Domestic Violence. I spent a night in jail and separated from my wife when I got out. Right after we separated, that's when she says she realized all the wrong that she did, and now wanted to work on things.\n\nAt first I thought too little too late, but a part of me said what the hell? Maybe this could work. When I tried to interject emotions back into things, whether it was through hugging, kissing, just saying I love you, sex, etc., I always got the same feeling: My heart wasn't going to be in it. So I told her I didn't want to work on things anymore. She believes it's out of anger, still believes I'm going to come back to her, and still tries to talk to me about it and be physical about it. It was to the point where she was trying to kiss me and take my pants down, which I really didn't want her doing. She just can't let go, and won't truly let me go so easy.\n\nSo I ask, did I do the right thing by walking away? Don't get me wrong, I will always love her and she will always hold a special place in my heart because she gave me 2 wonderful children, but my heart just isn't in working it out with her.", "summary": "Known wife 9 years. I saw problems. Suggested we fix. She ignored. I left. Then she said she wanted to fix things. I said no. Was I right?"} {"id": "t3_44dwno", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[19 M] not sure if girl [18 F] likes me", "post": "We started off as friends about a year ago in college. A few months after I confessed my feelings and she said that she wasn't ready to be in a relationship. So I took it as a rejection and moved on. However, a few weeks before I told her this, she reacted in a very strange way upon hearing news that I would be quitting the club we were both in; she came down to my dorm and started crying hysterically. This really confused me.\n\nFast forward about almost a year later. I'm taking a year off from school but decide to visit my friends at school. I started texting her again a few weeks prior. So I also meet up with her at one point. We go together (just the two of us) for ice cream, and I decide to pay for the entire thing. She says she will pay next time. I notice that she put on noticeable makeup, which I perceive as a good sign as she doesn't usually wear it. Conversation is flowing, and she is laughing regularly. \n\nUpon her suggestion, we decide to visit some other mutual friends in their dorm. We all hang out for a bit, and I go to dinner with some other friends. I come back later that evening, and upon hearing I'm back in the dorms, she comes over. But she's dressed in her pajamas. So at this point, I'm thinking, she's way too comfortable with me if she isn't concerned about her being seen in her pajamas.\n\nNext day I leave, so I don't get to see her again. I continue to text her though.\n\nI'm not really sure where I stand with her. She's already rejected me once, but our recent interactions have gotten more flirty. There's a lot more I haven't mentioned, but these are the main points.", "summary": "Girl wears makeup to one-on-one meetup but then comes in pajamas to group meetup later that same day."} {"id": "t3_2uqrvh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Does this sound like im asking them out??", "post": "So there is this guy i work with at the radio station once a week for about an hour and a half, and he is cute and everything but i'm not looking to date anyone right now, and I just wanna hang out with him as friends. However I wanna ask him if he wants to go hang out at the gardens or at a park where there are swings and stuff but I'm a bit nervous because I'm scared if i do that he might think i'm hitting on him and he'll be like lol no see ya, byeeee. I don't know, even though I think he's cute I think just being friends with him right now would be a good thing haha. What do you think?", "summary": "If I ask a guy I see semi casually through work to hang out at the park with me will he think I'm hitting on him?"} {"id": "t3_1d0p00", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Going on a date but my friend just managed to put me off! (22F, 20M)", "post": "I got chatting with this guy in a bar about a week ago and he asked for my number. He seemed really nice and knows a few of my friends, so I agreed to go for a drink with him soon.\n\nI just told my friend that I'm meeting up with him tomorrow and she laughed and mentioned that he was being quite clingy while I was chatting to a (male) acquaintance outside the bar; apparently he said that there \"wasn't much point in him being there\" (presumably he thought I was 'interested' in the acquaintance).\n\nWe've been texting and he seems really genuine and nice...I was looking forward to seeing him until my friend said that, but now I feel all weird and put off! I don't know how to stop feeling awkward about it.\n\nAny advice on how to forget about my friend's input would be great; as much as I love her, I wish she hadn't said it! I never go on dates (since I got out of a six year relationship a year ago) and I don't want to end up with a bad experience because I went into it with a weird mindset.", "summary": "Going out with a guy tomorrow but my friend just said something to put me off him. How do I forget about what she said?"} {"id": "t3_4nzz1n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (18F) just broke up with my now ex (19M) after an 8 month relationship, but I still have to go to class with him. He isn't taking it well, how do I handle it?", "post": "So i just broke up with a guy Id been with for 8 months. We met in college and have always had all our classes together. Its a private culinary program with small classes and we are graded in our labs by how well we work together.\n\nI broke up with him because I knew we had different plans after school making us basically a dead end relationship. After realizing this I decided to end it. He doesn't understand why we cant cross that bridge when we get to it, but I honestly don't want to. I want someone who's plans match or work with mine and his didn't. \n\nSo now we're on a two week break, I broke up with him the first day so we would have two weeks to come to terms with it. He called me today and he has a \"I don't care what you say we WILL end up together\" attitude.\n\nI love this free, independent, living my own life thing. I'm also a very good student and so is he but I'm afraid of this affecting that this next quarter. What can/should I do to help this? Any help is appreciated!", "summary": "Ex isn't taking the breakup well, We have hands on cooking classes together graded on teamwork. How do I handle it?"} {"id": "t3_1mwqvg", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I [24M] am attracted to a female [24F] work colleague, but I'm not sure what to do next.", "post": "Okay, so here's the info I've got:\n\n* We work on separate departments, but talk a fair amount\n\n* I know she's single\n\n* I have no idea if she likes me as more than a friend\n\n* I'm very socially awkward, so just straight up asking her out isn't going to work\n\n* We've been out socially, but only as part of a larger group\n\n* We share a lot of common interests\n\n* I've learnt through a friend that she's very picky, but \"not in the way you'd think\"\n\n* Physically, I look like a train wreck, but I'm working to improve it\n\n* My last relationship ended when I was 17 and the last time I got intimate with a girl was at 18 (thanks, freshers week)\n\n* Linked with the point above, I have this feeling that the world of dating has evolved around me", "summary": "I'm a mess but there's this girl I like. Help me, /r/dating_advice, you're my only hope"} {"id": "t3_4mqkkt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (33F) daughter (7F) is picking up inappropriate behaviors from her father's (33M) new fianc\u00e9e's (27F) family.", "post": "So my ex and I have been divorced for about four years. We share 50-50 custody and generally, we've coparented together very well during this time, and have had minimal differences in philosophy and what's appropriate behavior for our kids. But he's recently engaged to a woman (who has three kids of her own from previous relationships) and now...not so much. \n\nMost of the things that have kind of made me go O.o are minor things, but tonight at dinner my 7 year old daughter suggested we take a shot. After the record scratched in my brain, I asked her what she meant and then proceeded to describe the process of taking a shot of alcohol. I asked her where she learned about that, and she mentioned that Mamaw (fianc\u00e9e's grandmother) was taking shots of apple juice from actual shot glasses with her and her future stepsisters (who are 10 and 6). And then later on in the evening, she demonstrated how she'd learned to twerk, and then started talking about how she needed to get some thong underwear. \n\nI had a conversation with my daughter about how all those things are inappropriate for a child of her age, and regardless of what her father might allow that kind of thing was not okay in my house. But I'm not sure how to bring it up with my ex--I feel like I should just to get it out there, and I also feel like before this new relationship he'd have had the same problem I did with his SEVEN YEAR OLD acting like this. But now...his fianc\u00e9e can do no wrong and he will totally just be all, not your time, not your concern. I'm worried that if I say anything to him, it won't accomplish anything at all but put him on edge and I'm trying to tread lightly with concerns about his new relationship and not to rock the boat until I absolutely have to in all this. \n\nShould I maybe just pocket this incident and see where it goes, reinforcing what's appropriate with my daughter when she's with me and then see what happens later? Does that seem too hands off?", "summary": "ex husband's new fianc\u00e9e's family is exposing my daughter to age-inappropriate behaviors and I'm not sure if/how I should approach him about it."} {"id": "t3_1gwsax", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [26 F] life with [28 M] boyfriend is so wonderful, I have become constantly worried about him dying", "post": "I have lived through a lot, have had many other relationships, a lot of enjoyable solitude...and ever since I have been with \"M\" (3 years) I feel completely happy and at peace. We fell in love so hard with each other that we moved in together only a few months into our relationship (something that neither one of us thought we'd do with someone).\n\nOur bond is so strong that the only thing that will break it is death. The past few weeks, I have become worried sick about that happening. I don't bug or cry to him about it, since there isn't anything he can do about it. I just tell him I love him and to be safe (he's an ironworker). This feeling developed after listening to his \"close-calls\" from his new, poorly managed jobsite.\n\nI know he's smart and won't do anything stupid to get himself killed....it's everyone else in the world I don't trust. Car and workplace accidents happen. Can you please give me some advice on how to deal with my new fears? I am such a laid-back lady, I have never felt this way before.", "summary": "Need some advice on how to deal with the pit of fear in me that my partner will just die unexpectedly in an accident***"} {"id": "t3_4nxzqz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22F] of 3 years 7 months. Am I a horrible son for wanting to spend Christmas with her instead of my family [60M/48F/28F]?", "post": "My girlfriend [22F] and I have been with each other for 3 years 8 months and are just about to move into a new apartment after living with my parents [60M/48F] for the past year after graduating university.\n\nThis year my girlfriend has told me that she would like to spend Christmas with me. I think it's a great idea and I really want to - but it would mean not being able to spend it with my family. Am I a horrible son for wanting this?\n\nChristmas in my family - specifically mother - is a contentious subject. My older sister, now 28, spent Christmas with her boyfriend at the time after a fall out with my mother and my mother didn't speak to her for at least a year after that, and the relationship has been rocky since then for the past eight years. To my family - mainly mother - Christmas is a time that you spend with family, and only family. Boyfriends/Girlfriends etc. are not included.\n\nAm I a horrible son for wanting to spend Christmas with my girlfriend? I worry that if I do, my relationship with my parents will strain in the same way that my sister's did. I know that my father will be disappointed but my mother will be completely unbearable.\n\nI have offered that my girlfriend and I could do Christmas together, in our new flat, on our own, just as a day to ourselves, and then visit family for the rest of the holiday period. \n\nReddit, how can I make Christmas a happy holiday for everybody?", "summary": "I want to spend Christmas with girlfriend - my parents won't be happy - am I a horrible son for wanting this?"} {"id": "t3_3urlx3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21/M) got blackout drunk Friday night and upset a girl (28/F) I've recently started seeing and now she won't talk to me", "post": "Edit: should be 18/F not 28/F in the title \n\nSo I was out Friday night and a girl I've started seeing recently came and met me in the club. She was a little annoyed from the get go because I didn't have any signal and she kept messaging me to go and meet her outside before finally coming in.\n\nAfter meeting her I remember literally nothing, according to my friends me and her left together and went back home to mine.\n\nI wake up on my own but see her watch is on my bedside table and that I messaged her at 4.30am \"sorry for being such a prick last night, I do really like you\". \n\nSo I message her \"Why aren't you at mine?\" And she replies \"what you don't remember?\"\n\nI send her a message saying if I did anything wrong I really am sorry etc, but she doesn't reply. I leave it until Saturday night then message her asking her to please talk to me and telling her that her watch is still at mine.\n\nIt's Sunday night and still no response. I didn't message her today in case she wanted time without me bothering her\n\nShould I message her tomorrow? What sort of thing should I say? I have literally no recollection of what I did but I want her to know I'm sorry. I don't get drunk enough that I can't remember the night before so I have no clue how I got into such a state, my friends all said I seemed fine and I didn't spend that much money.\n\nI don't really know how I can make things right because I don't know what went wrong... I feel bad for her though because I must've done something really shitty", "summary": "got blackout drunk, went home with a girl I've been seeing, she ends up leaving at 4am because I must've been acting like a dick and now she won't speak to me. Need to know how to approach the situation"} {"id": "t3_252o2n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [34 M]: I am really bad at casual physical contact... please help!", "post": "This problem has plagued me all my off. I just carry myself in a stiff, awkward, kind of clumsy way and I'm bad when it comes to physical touch. \n\nSitting next to someone on a couch? My shoulders are hunched, my hands are clasped, my muscles tense like a puma ready to strike!\n\nSomeone goes to pat me on the back or touch my shoulder? I instinctively dodge out of the way. \n\nHugs? Initially met with a fighting stance before I finally loosen up. \n\nThis has been a problem in every serious romantic relationship I've ever had (I've had five serious relationships total). I hear things like: \"Do you not like me? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?\" \n\nTo make up for it, I have to be very conscious of touch, which is also awkward. I can't just naturally hold a girl's hand. I feel like my body language is saying in a robotic way: \"I am going to hold your hand now.\" Same with putting my arm around my sweetie or whatever. \n\nHere's the thing: I like to touch, and I like being touched! In my brain I have no qualms with it at all and love physical contact. You know how some people hate it? Not me! Love it. But my body and brain do not agree on this, somehow.\n\nI'm in the very early stages of a new relationship and I don't want this to be a problem. I don't want her to think I'm a weirdo because I'm bad at hand holding in public. I want to get over this somehow... ehhhh help?", "summary": "I'm super awkward when it comes to touching/being touched, even though mentally I don't have any hangups with it."} {"id": "t3_131vh3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend of two years [27m] and I [23f] got into such a serious fight today, cops came to the door. Help.", "post": "We've been together for two years. Living together for the better part of one. We've had our share of fights - our share of really bad fights. Hours long, screaming, him blocking me into a room and not letting me out, me then patently ignoring him. The biggest part of the bad stuff is the fact that for the whole first year, his ex was still on his phone plan, still way more part of the picture than I felt comfortable with - he would have me be quiet when she called so she wouldn't know he was at my place and be hurt, etc - and when I complained about these things, he basically dismissed my problems and I didn't feel like I could do anything about it. He convinced me that I was wrong, even though I felt sure I was being fucked, and I didn't have the confidence to leave.\n\nAfter the first year he changed heart, but I've remained bitter. He claims that during the first year I was seeing things wrong and, even though he admits he made mistakes, he said if I had just listened to him, things wouldn't have gotten so awful to start. I don't know. We go back and forth between everything being utterly wonderful - when things are good, we are each other's world. When things are bad, we scuffle physically, put holes in the wall, give each other bruises - and tonight it all got all the more real when a policewoman came to the door and said next time this happened, someone would get arrested. I don't really have any friends, I know I'm co-dependent, I'm terrified to leave, and to top it all off, I really do love him - but I can't keep doing this. I am double-majoring and planning on going to graduate school and I don't have the time or the energy, and it's breaking my fucking heart. He wants to just start over again, but my feelings will always be tinted by the way he treated me in the first year (a perception he says is somewhat mistaken).", "summary": "boyfriend and I really love each other but have serious fights due to a lot of shit in the past. What do?"} {"id": "t3_1fhus7", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Feel like I'm wasting time.", "post": "I'm a 23 year old male on summer vacation after my third shitty year of college. When I say shitty I mean that I've been skating by, failing a handful of classes, and convincing my counselor to give me more chances. I've done so horribly because I've been an alcoholic for all of that time. Today is my 43rd day without a drink and that is something I feel great about physically and emotionally. There is certainly more clarity in my mind than there has been.\n\nHowever I've just been terribly unproductive and bored. I feel like I'm having a quarter-life crisis. I'm clear enough to see that I should be doing something meaningful and helpful for the world but too stuck in my old ways to make a change. There are so many things I want to do but never manage to get started. I want to volunteer, get a job, meet new people, go out and have fun. It's been especially hard to do the last two things since I've stopped drinking. Most of my friends are home for the summer while I still live on campus which is pretty desolate. I don't have a Facebook so it's hard to link up with the leftovers and I'm okay with that because Facebook just isn't worth it.", "summary": "I don't want to look back in 10 years and be filled with regret over all the things I could have accomplished."} {"id": "t3_41zqte", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it possible for me (21F) to ask my very religious roommate (18F) for time alone with my boyfriend (21M)?", "post": "Okay, so I don't have a lot of friends. It's always been difficult for me to make connections with new people, and other than my boyfriend I have zero close friends. This leads to me receiving a random roommate every year. \n\nI was abroad last semester, and returned to my home campus and was matched with my current roommate, we'll call her Rosie. Rosie is very sweet, fun, and doesn't have a lot of friends either. She's a freshman and I'm a junior, but we've gotten to be quite close in the last month. I'm establishing all this to say that she's not just a random roommate, but someone I consider a friend. \n\nRosie is religious (recently converted to Catholicism) and has never dated. She knows and likes my boyfriend, Kyle, but they've only interacted a couple times. Rosie is always in the room, usually studying. She doesn't go to the dining hall and she isn't in any clubs or activities, so if she's not in class she's right here in the room.\n\nMy boyfriend (we've been together 3 years) and I arranged our intimate time around her schedule. The only time she's in class and we aren't is early Friday morning for one hour, so that's when he comes over and we cuddle/have sex. This is the only alone time we get, so I value it greatly. \n\nRosie told me that on Fridays, her class is no longer mandatory so she doesn't think she'll go at that time anymore. This leaves me with zero time alone with my boyfriend, which is a dismal prospect. Rosie thinks Kyle and I are abstinent, and seeing as this is my first positive roommate experience ever, I don't want this to spoil her impression of me.\n\nIs there a way to ask for a little alone time without coming across as creepy or immoral?", "summary": "My young, naive, religious roommate and I are close friends, but I want a little time alone with my boyfriend and don't know how to tell her without it spoiling her impression of me."} {"id": "t3_3w6kif", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [22 M] let a good friend [22 F] of 1 1/2 years who broke up with her boyfriend know that I'm not interested in a relationship without ruining our friendship?", "post": "Throwaway because another friend knows my Reddit username. \n\nFor some starting context, she had a boyfriend when she became friends with me and the rest of our group due to common interests. (At this point, our group has 5 guys and 3 girls.) I'm assuming that their relationship became rocky at some point, because she starts complaining about stuff her boyfriend does to us and said she was considering breaking up with him. She stopped hanging out with us because she said it was making her boyfriend feel weird, though she did keep in touch online. A month later, she was hanging out with us again, after she broke up with her boyfriend when she discovered he was cheating on her.\n\nFast forward a bit. Still good friends as always, but she's starting to address more talk to me. More eye contact. Laughs at what I say more. She starts inviting me - and just me - to hang out more (nothing big, play some co-op games or do a favor for her.) Quite a bit more touchy with me. Recently, she hugged me and took a big sniff and asked what I put on to smell so good (I didn't put anything on, in fact, I was a little sweaty after running to not be late.) Stuff like that.\n\nI don't know if she's definitely trying to give a hint or not, but I really just want to be friends with her. Not that she's not attractive, but I got to know her under the pretext of not expecting a relationship, and I really see her as too close a friend for me to feel confortable with anything else and would rather not ruin our friendship. What should I do to keep our friendship if she does want something more?", "summary": "Friend, who had a boyfriend when she joined our group, has problems with boyfriend, breaks up with him, starts acting more flirty towards me. How to just stay good friends?"} {"id": "t3_1kryps", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (22M) and her (21F) broke up when it got stale for a while. Can this be fixed?", "post": "Throwaway 'cause I'm paranoid she'll see this and get angry.\n\nMy ex and I broke up a about a month ago after several arguments. Our sex life, which had once been the stuff of legends, had become non-existent for the last month or so and we kept betting into rows when left alone. \n\nI wanted to give us space to miss each other, so we broke up and stayed close, but when the time became too long I tried to inquire after what we're doing and she seemed to just want infinite time to get over her personal issues and stress, which were supposedly to blame. \n\nIn the end, after I believe I pressed too much, she said that she wanted to officially break up as she's not romantically attracted to me anymore, although she loves me and would like to stay as close as possible in the future. It's now been nearly a month we haven't been speaking because she thinks it's \"too soon\" and doesn't want to \"get my hopes up that this might work out\" as even if she does have feelings for me in the future, she won't try anything because we \"can't communicate\"\n\n... but I miss her company so much it hurts every day. Is there any way I can try to get her to listen to me, to maybe help her see that this could be worked out? We've been through so much together over our nearly 3 year relationship, I've helped her through some really rough patches in life which made us bond so much and grow together (and separately) as people, but we still have so much growing and living together to do, I think it's a shame to just call it quits at that...\n\nAny ideas? Thanks", "summary": "Girlfriend and I broke up because she's not romantically attracted to me ATM, and doesn't know if she will be again. What can I do to help fix this?"} {"id": "t3_3drobi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [23F] of 3 months, has randomly stopped talking to me. I am at a loss of what to do. (she is traveling)", "post": "Ok so some background on our relationship I started dating my girlfriend we will call her Claire toward the end of April (we had been friends for a while before that). \n\nAnyways our relationship was going amazingly well up until the start of this month. Claire and I spent almost every day together up until she left for vacation in the middle of June. During our relationship we fell in love with each other.\n\nAnyways when Claire first left she would text me every day many many times and I did the same. Our messages were always nice and the typical \"I miss you\" or \"I love you\" just so we knew we were thinking about each other. Then at the beginning of this month she just stopped. I could tell something had happened. I asked her about it. She said I can't talk to you about it until I get back but she also said she didnt want to break up. Pretty much the end of the discussion. She called me the next day and was completely normal on the phone so I figured everything was ok.\n\nHowever clearly it wasnt. Claire has barely talked to me since then and we have only briefly spoken on the phone once since last time she called me. I texted her the other night and she said I dont want to talk until I come back. She will be back late next weekend, but I am going insane. I have barely slept in a week. I dont know what to do. I just want things to go back to the way they were before she left.\n\nPlease give some advice.", "summary": "Girlfriend has been traveling for about a month and randomly stopped responding to messages and calls. She said she doesnt want to talk until she gets back. I just want things to be the way they were before she left for her trip."} {"id": "t3_1hf6tw", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My brother [33] lost his license. He asked me [27] to drive him to work. I agreed. But he won't let me drive his car, now that mine failed inspection.", "post": "My brother was in a serious accident and totalled his car after a night of intense drinking. He could have easily lost his life but walked away with a few scratches. He lost his license for 2 months after working through it with a lawyer, fines, penalties and ARD and all that goes along with a DWI.\n\nI recently accepted a full time position in the same city as where my brother's job is located. He asked me to take him to work and I had been for this first month with nearly zero issues. My car was due for inspection and it failed the inspection and needs $ in repairs that I don't have. I am working on a trade in deal but haven't had time to actually get a solution. \n\nSo my car didn't pass inspection. I told my brother that a few days ago. This morning I told him again and he flips out when I say we have to take his car.\n\nHe flys off the handle and asks my sister to drive his car and him to work. I ask him why I can't drive his car and my sister can and he gave me the bullshit excuse of I'm not on his policy and my sister is. I said that's not true I am covered under your policy the moment you give me permission and the keys to drive. He still insisted that I was in the wrong and I was causing him the problem not him by losing his license in the first place. \n\nI texted him that I am covered when he gives me permission to drive and he texted back: \"Well guess what I am not given you permission to drive my car. End of story have a good day! \"\n\nI think he is being purposely unreasonable. I have a perfect driving record and there is no reason for him to deny me permission and grant it to my sister. He is now forcing me\nTo drive my un-inspected car, the very thing I was trying to\navoid in the first place. He clearly is embarrassed by losing his license and doesn't want to take responsibility for his mistake even still, now 6 months later.", "summary": "My brother lost his license. He has a new Nissan Altima and he refuses to let me drive it to take him to work."} {"id": "t3_3b3w3o", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "My brother has been stealing from me", "post": "Hi everyone. I was looking to get some advice on my situation and hopefully you guys can give me some ideas. Anyway, here goes. \n\nMy fourteen year old brother has been stealing from myself and my other family members for the past year. A month or so ago, he pretended that someone robbed our house, and stole all of the cash I had in my wallet, as well as an expensive ring my boyfriend gave me.\n Now you're probably wondering how I know it's him. For starters, this incident happened precisely after my father and I left the house that morning. True, a robber could have been watching us, but the timing was just odd. Second, nothing of his was stolen. He had plenty of things that a thief would have taken since his room is right next to mine, but only I (and my parents) were missing anything. \n\nThird, his \"girlfriend\" came over today and she was wearing my ring. The same exact ring. There's no way in hell he could have afforded it because he's a kid, and her parents are not the type of people who would spend that money on her. \n\nMy parents know the truth, and they also believe that he was the one who stole from us that day. But it never ended there, he continues to steal anything we leave laying around the house, including my mother's debit card, which my mom was smart enough to cancel before he could make charges. When I try to talk to her about this and about how she should be doing something, she pretty much just says \"well, what do you want me to do about it?\"\nI've purchased a lock for my door and don't leave my room without locking it up, so hopefully this will solve the temporary problem. But long term, what do I do? Deal with it until I move out, confront him, etc.", "summary": "Brother steals from me and other family members. Aside from locking my bedroom, what do I do? Should I confront him if I know he's doing it?"} {"id": "t3_ss9wt", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I got behind on student loans after my deferment period ended [x-post r/askreddit]", "post": "I'm not sure where to turn for advice on something such as this, so I come to you reddit!\n\nI went to college for two years fresh out of high school. I took out some student loans through Sallie Mae. I ultimately ended up dropping out and working for a couple of years. I went back to school and took out more student loans through Fed Loan Servicing. None of these are \"private\" student loans. I ultimately owe somewhere in the neighborhood of $20,000 in student loan debt between Sallie mae and Fed Loan Servicing.\n\nNone of that's really a big deal. I didn't end up completing my degree but I'm in a field where it's not really an issue anymore. I'm making great money without it.\n\nNow for the problem; After my last quarter in college (before dropping out again), my deferment period ended (6 months after dropping out of course). At the time, I was going through a rough patch financially and mentally. I ended up letting my student loans get about 3 months past due. Once I realized how late they were, I immediately called them and told them about my situation. They allowed me to go on a forbearance period until I got things straight. I didn't know it at the time, but they had reported these late payments to the credit agencies (since they weren't consolidated, 7 late payments were reported). I just called Sallie Mae and they said that there is nothing that they can do to remove this from my credit even if I were to pay it off in full right now. They said it will take 7-10 years for it to automatically fall off.\n\nNeedless to say, this has completely wrecked my credit. Is there anything that I can do about this? I'm in good standing with them now and looking to pay these off completely in the next couple of years. I also have a couple of credit cards, a car loan, and have lived in several apartments (all of which have never been more than a little late rarely). I know that this is entirely my fault. I'm just wondering what my best course of action would be to rebuild my credit.", "summary": "I'm an idiot and let my student loans get 60+ days past due. Despite being in good standing with them now, they say it will take 7-10 years for this to drop off of my credit."} {"id": "t3_1lvplw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How many Americans would have to refuse to pay taxes to effectively protest military action in Syria?", "post": "Between the government's hypocritical treatment of whistleblowers, intrusive domestic surveillance, failures of oversight, various fiascoes in the Department of Justice (ineffective \"War on Drugs\" prosecutions, botching of Project Gunrunner with the ATF, aggressive targeting of journalists, etc), one of the most unproductive Congresses in decades, and the usual partisan infighting, grandstanding and military-cooperate masturbation, I no longer feel any sense of representation, affiliation, or allegiance to the Federal government. Military action in Syria on shaky-at-best grounds is the last straw for me.\n\nI want to stop paying taxes. But given my small income, this would ultimately be a ceremonial gesture that gets me fined or jailed to no avail. My question is, is there a critical mass of citizens whose refusal to pay tax would result in an inability of the government to effectively prosecute for and/or seize the withheld tax, and would this be an effective form of protest? Does such action have historical precedent?\n\nI should point out that I am not opposed to tax. Were I to participate in such a coordinated protest, I would (and would advocate to others) give what money I would have paid in tax directly to public services, to fund education, infrastructure, healthcare, etc. and would inform the IRS I had done so.\n\nI am open to being told I am naive and uninformed, but I want to be explained why. If \"the government has always been this ___\", I think this is deadly apathy we need to do something, and I will gladly \"march around your City Hall\" and \"write to your representative\" but let's not pretend that will get us out of another unwinnable, uninformed, unaffordable war.", "summary": "I feel supporting the government with taxes would be immoral. I would rather directly support public services, research and education. Would enough people taking this action be an effective form of protest, and does protest by mass tax refusal have precedent?"} {"id": "t3_3tpim7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20f] ldr bf[22m] of 4 years, sent me his recent photographs. I can't help but FEEL inferior about how'd I look next to him, now that he is turning into a 'fine young man' and I am still struggling to reduce my weight.", "post": "I am in an LDR with my bf for last four ets and we have met at least once a month, sometimes more than that. He has graduated now and I am at my final year at university.\n\nI have a bad family history and ever since he came into my life, things never felt so good.\n\nHowever, mg on-off depression has given me serious issues, and one of that is my weight gain.\n\nI had an athletic figure once. Post 2011, there have been issues at house that broke me. I couldn't not afford medical help so I would talkto my school counselor. She was really helpful.\n\nAlso, I have this extreme complex about my photos. I just don't like being photographed at all. I hate it so much and it has started as a fight issue in my relationship.\n\nMy bf is an introvert but, he somehow enjoys his life in his own way. He has a nice family. We have taken pics together but somehou, looking at them makes me hate myself a lot. He understands me and thinks that it's normal but I think it's not. I want to change that, but I am so into it that I avoid group photos so much that everyone in my class knows that I am always going to avoid any photos.\n\nNow, he just sent me his pics and man, he looks amazing... I have shared him mine too, but not as par with his at all \n\nI feel so inferior. I have been trying to reduce weight for years now, I gave up eating sweets, sugar, soda and religiously follow a healthy diet, a balanced diet wih regular exercise and I don't understand what am I doing wrong.\n\nShit hit the fan today and I cried at our Skype talk. I too want to be a good looking girl, a photogenic girl and I feel like shit now.", "summary": "BF sends me his recent photographs, can't help but FEEL inferior as he looks like a fine young man and I am still fat and not so good looking."} {"id": "t3_32b1zn", "subreddit": "books", "title": "The Witcher novel translations?", "post": "I fell in love with the series a few years ago, and was keen to read all of the books before the next and final game came out next month, but tragically found out that not all of the books have been translated yet. I found one or two fan translations that were just way too poorly written for me to enjoy, with incorrect grammar, and spelling, so just gave up and went on to read other books while i waited for the official translations. I loved the books not only because of the story and amazing universe, but because the (english versions) were so amazingly well written, and fantastic reading experiences. But now I think I might just try to suck it up and read the remaining books that fans have translated anyway, because I'm just too curious to know what happens next.", "summary": "Is there anyone out there that might be able to help me find, or know where I might be able to find the best fan translated versions of The Tower of the Swallow, The Lady of the Lake, and Storm Season online?"} {"id": "t3_fiaoa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Friends after breakup... what do I owe her?", "post": "Hey r/relationships, first post here and looking for some advice. 22M.\n\nI was recently with a girl 19F for about a year. Had some really great times and some really horrible times. I definitely wasn't perfect, had some jealousy issues early on, but we got through that. About 9 months into our relationship she started losing interest and acting cold toward me. Then she went away for a couple months and broke up with me, but for some reason I held on and tried to keep it together blah blah blah. When she got back we were sort of together for some months but a couple weeks ago we decided to stop sleeping together and be just friends.\n\nI'd really like to keep the friendship going because she is really cool. At this point I'm fine being single and I'm not really interested in another relationship yet. She says the same about herself. I would be jealous if she met someone else, but I feel like I'd get over it in time. But I have an ex who keeps calling me, interested in some no-strings-attached fun, and I'm starting to feel like I want to give that a try since I'm single anyways.\n\nSleeping with that particular ex would probably destroy her if she found out, I know that (she had expressed jealousy about that ex when we were together). But do I owe it to her to not do it? My gut says I don't owe it to her since we're done, but maybe I should just wait a while first (some sort of breakup courtesy time)?\n\nAnd do I even have to tell her about it? I feel like if I'm obligated to tell her, I wouldn't do it because I just couldn't bear to break her heart like that. But I am single and not sexually responsible to her, so is it any of her business? I've been very clear with her that I'm not sexually responsible to her and don't want to hurt her. Some people have told me that for the friendship after breakup thing to work, you have to lie about future partners for a while anyways, to manage jealousy. \n\nWhat say you r/relationships?", "summary": "Broke up with girl but still friends. Want to sleep with an ex for fun, would that make me a jerk? Should I even tell her if I do it?"} {"id": "t3_2342vg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "22My GF (22F) gave her number to a guy who asked her out.", "post": "We've been together for 5 years and have more recently (past year or so) have gotten better with communication. \n\nThis past March she tells me she met a guy at a bus stop who talked to her (she said they got along well) and asked her out on the spot. I could tell she felt flattered and although I felt a tiny bit of jealousy I was glad she told me. \n\nNow fast forward to today. We have an open communication policy and have access to each others phones and laptops for trust reasons. She's said she doesn't delete texts so that I can't see them, but when I checked her phone I noticed she took a screenshot of her short convo with this guy. Basically she stated that she was was the girl he met and that she was taken. Sounds good so far to me, but then she says at the end, \"but if something changes I'll let you know.\" \n\nThere's only two more texts between them after that, but that single line is really irking me. One, she said she didn't contact him after meeting him and wouldn't. Two, she gives this false idea that she's being honest with me when she's obviously withholding information. Just the other day I asked her neutrally if there's anything she's been hiding from me that she wants to tell me. \n\nI should also add that my gf has mental health issues and I try not to get her overly upset, but this is something that's bothering me. I'm ok with her making friends, but that last line just makes me feel like she has backups. She gets mad when I make friends with girls b/c she thinks that I'm making backups for our relationship but it just seems she always takes things way farther than I ever have.", "summary": "GF met a stranger and texted him. Text almost seemed innocent except for the fact that she would \"let him know if something changes\" in regards to our relationship."} {"id": "t3_3cqyd2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] of three months - I like her, but I don't how to keep the relationship going.", "post": "My girlfriend (26/f] and I [23/m] have been dating for 3 months. We have a lot fun together, share a lot of common interests, all that jazz. But I can't seem to commit 100% to this relationship. I have three theories 1) because there's a good chance she'll have to leave the country in a year or less, and I'm not ready for long distance. I can't help but feel this relationship has no future. 2) She is the 'every relationship should be your last' kind of girl and is 110% committed. I'm feeling scared because I'm not where she is. I'm not a very emotional person with below average EQ, but to her once in a relationship you should be all over each other always. 3) Maybe this is just how I am and I am incapable of anymore. Because I really feel like I'm trying. But I just can't seem to do the right things.\n\nOf course it could also be all three.\n\nI really like her, she really is great, and I want her to be happy. But my lack of effort/commitment hurts her and because she so committed and invested I feel like I'm wasting her time. She thinks I'm just immature and afraid of responsibilities and commitment. Should I break it off with her to save her anymore heartbreak?\n\nIf so when should I do it? Its a stressful time for her. She is being kick out of her apartment in 3 days, and has not found a home yet.", "summary": "Can't seem to commit, can't see future with relationship. What should I do? Actually when I type it out like that the answer seems quite clear. But I'd still like to hear some opinions.T"} {"id": "t3_3lgfc7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] caught my mom [48F] sleeping with a dude [30'sM] who isn't my dad [50M]", "post": "Gross/horrible situation here. I will say for starters that I always felt like my parents had a strong marriage because some will assuredly ask about that.\n\nI came home from college for the weekend and ended up getting there sooner than I expected. I have a key to the house and let myself in and shouted to my mom to let her know that I was there. For context, my mom stays at home and my dad works.\n\nI heard some commotion from upstairs and started to go investigate but on my way up some random guy comes out of the bedroom and rushes past me. I just about shit myself at this point (he could have been a burglar or something, for all I knew) and started crying after he rushed out the door. \n\nThen, my mom comes out of the bedroom (in a robe) and starts to comfort me saying that \"it's all right, nothing's wrong\" and stuff like that. I am like beyond shocked right now and ask if she knew who that was, because at this point I am primarily concerned for her safety. She sighed and said something like \"I guess I can't get around telling you, huh?\" with this sort of wan smile on her face.\n\nShe told me that my dad had a cuckold fetish and liked to her sleep with other men. I would have never expected this because it seems like they are very loyal to each other. I also couldn't imagine my mom cheating so blatantly. Like, what? But then she said, \"yeah, don't tell your dad about it because he would die of embarrassment if anyone, no less his daughter, knew about it.\"\n\nSo, I am in a totally weird mental space right now (not only from seeing my mom bang some dude, AUGH) and I'm not sure whether to tell my dad or not. It seems equally unlikely to me that my dad would be a cuckold and that my mom would be such a blatant cheater and nonchalant liar. What should I do?", "summary": "Caught my mom banging some guy other than my dad, my first thought is to tell him but my mom says it's not a big deal because it's for his cuckolding fetish. What do?"} {"id": "t3_1akp5m", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I (M22) can't bring myself to break-up with my SO (F22) despite moments of clarity.", "post": "My SO and I have been dating since high school (over 5 years). We went to the same college, but she graduated early and moved about 1.5 hours away for a job. We've always had things to work on, but this last year has caused me much more stress than it has helped me.\n\nWhen we got together, she was ambitious and had an extremely positive outlook on life, but lately (esp. since midway since college) she has turned extremely pessimistic and has seemingly lost her ambition. I'm realizing the problem is that she has serious control issues. In high school should basically knew where her life was heading (college) and felt in control leading to an amiable demeanor. As college started, and esp. at her new job she is learning that you can't be in control of everything and it is getting to her.\n\nThis has caused her to lose (break-up?) with friend who she could no longer hang out with at her whim and who were developing other relationships that made her extremely jealous. She also skipped applying for graduate school last year and this year. I confronted her about it because I believed she was putting them off so that she could feel like she had made the decision to not go rather than risk not getting in; she admitted it.\n\nWe had a big discussion because she often will insinuate that I don't really care about her or don't want to be around her and make me feel guilty so that she can control me. I got sick of it and pointed it out. She admitted she had issues and is now seeing a therapist, but that was a few months ago, and I see no change.\n\nI want to be getting something positive out of my relationship and I often don't. I also know she is controlling, which can be emotionally abusive. I will sometimes resolve to break-up with her, but I can never bring myself to do it. The few times she is happy is when she sees me, and I can't bring myself to destroy that.\n\nDo I need to just man up and do it? Am I overreacting? Anyone been in similar situations that has any advice?", "summary": "SO is extremely controlling and guilts me into doing things, but I can't bring myself to break-up with her."} {"id": "t3_2u7xui", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Advice/Suggestions on best cat collars?", "post": "I bought a collar when I adopted Lola at the beginning of July, and she's probably worn it for a total of one day since then. Any time I put it on her, I come around and find a collarless kitty wandering around 5 minutes later.\n\nI'm not sure if it's because the collar itself is too easily removable, or if it's because I'm not putting it on tight enough(?) ...\n\nShe's indoors so it hasn't been a huge deal, but I'm moving to an apartment within a house this weekend, and because she's a \"door dasher\", I'm a little concerned she'll make a run for the yard. In the past when she's run out the door it's only been down an apartment building hallway - nowhere for her to run. But with the move, there are many places to go :(\n\nOh, and she IS microchipped, but I want the collar as a back-up so that people will know immediately that she belongs to someone and isn't just a stray.", "summary": "Are there any collars fellow cat owners can recommend? I want something that will stay on, but can come off with reasonable force if she gets stuck or there's an emergency."} {"id": "t3_xebej", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17/m] was seriously emotionally hurt by [17/f]. Story inside, really need help on what to do.", "post": "Hi /r/relationship_advice.\n\nSo here's the story: I had been dating this girl for a little while (let's call her Michelle, because that's her name). She was really amazing. I never had one dull moment with her. She told me she just wanted to be friends after my prom, so I thought it was over between us. But after this, she starts seeing me a ton more, introducing me to all her friends, family, everyone. \n\nSo after a month of this, I bought us tickets to go see a concert at the local county fair. She and I both went together. At the concert, we ran into a ton of her friends. After the concert, she ditched me for her friends, leaving me with no ride home.\n\nSo, we got into an argument over the phone the day after and she claims I ditched her. After some nasty stuff was said, she hung up on me. We haven't spoken since, and it's been a month.\n\nSo now that it has been a month, I want to just talk to her again. But I don't know what to say, or even where to begin.", "summary": "Like a girl a lot, really miss her, haven't talked in a month after huge fight, want to know how to start."} {"id": "t3_2rgoy5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my ___ [25 F] Broke a Promise During a Break Up.", "post": "I broke a promise to my girlfriend during our break up, it was a confusing time and we got in a lot of fights, I basically told my dad about an event in her past due to frustration and venting (we weren't communicating at all during the time). I didn't understand my girlfriend at the time and I needed answers. And we got back together . \n\nMy dad is a former pastor and current minister, and he's former military with secrets in his head for days. He's also a personality genius and the guy I tell everything to, he's essentially like a diary. So he will never tell a soul what I told him. And he accepts her.\n\nMy question is this, I love this girl, I want to make her my wife, by far the most amazing woman I have ever met. We discuss marriage every single day and kids. Do I tell her that my dad knows about her past? Or do I just move forward in the relationship, and let her live in an ignorant bliss, because I don't think she wants to know these details.\n\nI'm 100% sure my dad won't tell a soul, we are that close, but I want to know if this is a healthy secret to keep. I don't want her to be burdened by the fact that my dad knows this stuff about her.\n\nI've spoken with a lot of people about this issue, and most people conclude that this is one I need to take to the grave, that knowing won't do her any good.\n\nThanks guys! I love this girl, and I want to make it work no matter what. Even if I have to carry this burden for the rest of my life.", "summary": "Told my dad about my girlfriend's past during our break up due to venting, frustration and confusion. Want to know if I should even burden her with this information."} {"id": "t3_24lgg4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] has been dragged into my friend and his GF's [27 M/F] of 18 months breakup and they're both being shitty", "post": "My good friend has recently broken up with his GF of 18 months. I honestly think this was a good thing for both of them, as they didn't have good communication, nor did they empathize with each other towards the end. Now they're trying to get everything finished with and break for good, but she needs to get her stuff.\n\nShe has moved back to her hometown, so I don't need to worry about playing sides afterwards, as I truly like them both. She is however coming back to town to get her stuff and they unfortunately need to coordinate that. They've both asked me for help as they can't stop being assholes to one another. I don't want any part of this, but fear that if I don't at least help her pack while he's at work, there is going to be broken things and then this is going to be dragged out even longer. \n\nHelp me reddit, I want no part of this, but I also want this to be done ASAP! Do I help them, or do I just nope the hell on out of there and say that it's none of my business?", "summary": "Friends broke up, both are being shitty to each other and they want me to act as a go between until she can get her stuff on Monday. Do I help or butt the fuck out?"} {"id": "t3_3elxul", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20F] Husband [26M] called me an ethnic slur.", "post": "I'm White Hispanic. My maternal grandmother immigrated to the US from Mexico as a little girl. (This is relevant.)\n\nA few days ago my husband called me his \"sweaty little wetback\" in the shower. Having a bit of a temper (also relevant in a bit) I snapped back that he was a \"pasty ass cracker\". \n\nI don't normally have any prejudice against white people, I just wanted to show him how hateful slurs can be, but of course he just laughed it off. And then of course I felt bad even though he wasn't offended in the slightest.\n\nI got out of the shower hurt and confused. Why would he call me that? Is that how he sees me? A \"wetback\"?\n\nCue existential crisis over the course of the next three days: Do I even really count as Hispanic though? I mean my grandfather and father are %100 white. But I'm not white either because my grandmother *literally* came from Mexico!\n\nSuddenly, everything I did I saw in the context of my ethnicity. Was I acting too Hispanic? Was I not being Hispanic enough? \n\nFinally, I exploded in a ball of confused emotion. I tried to be calm and rational and even started with an \"I statement\":\n\n It really hurt my feelings being called a wetback. *Cue tears and snot fountain* And I've tried to talk to you about it, but you just say it was just a joke, but it *wasn't* just a joke to me, it really hurt! And I feel like all you see is my skin...\n\nAt which point he interrupted me by putting our arms next to each other and saying how he had no idea it hurt me *that* bad and it was stupid and he shouldn't have said it. \n\nBut I'm still hurting and feeling a little alone.", "summary": "My husband called me an ethnic slur. It sort of made me question everything about my identity. Has anyone else experienced this kind of thing in an interracial or interethnic relationship?"} {"id": "t3_ztnl0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [F/25] worried that boyfriend [M/40] is going through possible midlife crises", "post": "My boyfriend is going through a sort of midlife crises, or at the very least a big life let down. \n\nA few short details: I'm using a throwaway in case he browses reddit. We've been together about a year and a half. If you're wondering about the age difference, I've always been attracted to older men and I've had people constantly telling me I'm \"mature for my age\" for as far back as I can remember. He has been trying to get his job to transfer him to my state (I live in Washington, he in Oregon) even before he met me. His company strung him along for a year or more and even paid to fly him to WA and interview him and months later, they finally just told him that it wouldn't happen ever, he felt quite crushed when told. There is also some family drama going on that is hurting him quite a bit and normal life annoyances like car trouble and he has just generally been feeling down when he is usually very up-beat. \n\nI want to help and support him without bruising his ego and I know this is a challenging problem given our distance. I've been trying to support him without babying him (I feel that wouldn't help the situation) but I'm just worried he's not getting better. I know it will take time, I just want to be there for him as much as I can. This is also my first time posting something like this, so if I get the formatting wrong, I apologize. Any advice would be welcome, thank you!", "summary": "Boyfriend may be going through a possible midlife crises or at the very least, a difficult time. How can I help him without bruising his ego?"} {"id": "t3_2ze69e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[28m] want to know if my girlfriend[28f] was a Jersey Chaser", "post": "I have been with my girlfriend for two years now. We have had a solid relationship thus far, however recent discoveries has started to lead me to question my girlfriend's past. \n\nWith my girlfriend I always knew she was really into school spirit, her fb has lots of pictures of her at games. The thing which made me worry was when her friend Jess came over and we were all talking. My girlfriend started dropping names, and some flirty stories started to be shared. It also made a lot of sense because she didn't have a serious boyfriend as she said until after college. Furthermore, when I talked to her about it the next day she started getting really defensive, and I could tell she was hiding something. \n\nFor me, the person who I marry is someone who I have vetted really well and frankly speaking I don't want to marry a girl that was a Jersey Chaser. My girlfriend's current actions have been pretty damning, but I don't want to throw away a two year relationship on suspicion. I really want to get to the bottom of this, but I don't how. All of my conversation attempts have been deflected, or with her laughing at me telling me that I am crazy, or most recently her getting really angry saying that I am an asshole for accusing her of being a whore. \n\nI don't know what to do at this point. I honestly had been planning on proposing to her over our trip this summer, but now I don't feel comfortable about this relationship at all. Really would like to hear advice from some of the older guys on this subreddit. \n\nThanks,", "summary": "found some signs that led me to believe my girlfriend was a jersey chaser, I want to be for sure, but I don't know how."} {"id": "t3_3wt1gz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20M] ex gf [21F] of 2 years had sex with 2 other guys soon after we broke up, now she is behaving like we're still together, don't know what to do", "post": "It's been almost 2 months since we broke up. We still live together in a shared student house. Within a week or two after breaking up she has unprotected sex with a guy she met on tinder after a first date. I found out by seeing the morning after pill in her bag whilst looking for something to help her, since she came home too drunk to look after herself after a night out. \n\nAt first I denied to myself that she had actually done it because I love her and it is out of her character but once I admitted it to myself I confronted her a few days later. I did this because she slept with me (unprotected also) and acted all lovey on the night she was drunk. She went bright red and seemed very apologetic, she said she thought I was doing the same and wanted to get over me because she thought there was no chance of us getting back together.\n\nA few weeks later whilst we were out together in town having a few drinks and chatting, she tells me about how she gave a guy a blowjob after their first date. She frames it in a way to try and say how I'm better than the other guys but to me it just came off as disrespectful and manipulative to tell me that.\n\nNow she has been acting like we're together and being affectionate, getting annoyed if I don't reply to her texts. I love her so much and I don't think she's messing around with other guys anymore however I can't tell if this was a moment of madness or an indicator of who she is deep down. To make matters worse we still live in the same house and will have to for the next 6 months. Should I try to be friendly with her? Should I eventually give her another chance? How would I get over her when we still live together?", "summary": "Ex GF messed around with other guys after we broke up, came running back to me. I love her, we still live together and I don't know how to proceed."} {"id": "t3_2l48ts", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My brother [26M] and his girlfriend [26F] are on a \"break.\" Should I [25F] intervene?", "post": "My brother has been dating his girlfriend for two years, and they're pretty serious. They live together and he has told me that he wants to marry her.\n\nBut my brother was kind of slutty when we were in school, so the idea of settling down terrifies him a little. His girlfriend is very lovely and not rushing him at all, and he is genuinely in love with her. \n\nBut two weeks ago, he made some comment about not wanting to have kids (which was a lie because he has wanted kids since we were in high school). He was just freaking out about being domestic or whatever. His girlfriend probably knew he was lying but the argument snowballed and she decided that she was done with his commitment-phobic shit. So she kicked him out and he has been sleeping on our couch for a week now.\n\nHis place with his girlfriend is under both their names, so it doesn't make financial sense for him to just drop hundreds of dollars on a new apartment when he's still technically paying rent. If they decide to break up for good, they'll both have to move out because neither of them can afford their apartment on their own.\n\nHe's being ridiculously moopy, whining about how much he loves/misses her, and generally annoying the shit out of me. I understand that it might be the end of a 2-year relationship but the whole thing was his fault and if he wants to get back with her he needs to go talk to her and sort his shit out. Honestly I think his girlfriend intended this to be a reality check and a wake-up call rather than a breakup. \n\nI would love to kick him in the ass and tell him to make up his mind and grow the hell up, but my boyfriend has been bonding with my brother and says that we need to give him more time.\n\n_______", "summary": "My brother has been crashing at our place since he and his girlfriend got into a fight. Do I push him or leave him alone?"} {"id": "t3_50upr2", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[29/F] My fiance [32/M] has an income that is 3x mine and says I don't contribute enough and I make excuses for not being more financially successful. I am offended. Am I overreacting?", "post": "My fiance worked hard to get a Bachelor's degree in Engineering and has a six-figure income (over 3x mine). He also is obsessed with saving money, so he has impressive emergency funds for if things go badly and retirement funds.\n\nI have been dating him for 2.5 years and living with him for over one year.\n\nWhen I was younger, I decided to get a Bachelor's degree in Psychology because I enjoyed studying it. Unlike his family, my parents did not talk to me about picking a degree where you were confident you could get a high-paying, stable job. Now that I am struggling and making $35,000 a year, I am trying to turn my life around and go back to school for something more lucrative that also interests me.\n\nHe keeps telling me that my lack of financial success is mainly due to \"excuses\" I make. These comments from him are unsolicited- and even if I sat around all day complaining about my situation, I still think they come across as rude. He does not acknowledge the very different life circumstances we had. He also says I don't contribute enough in general, and someone like me with a Bachelor's degree and no kids should be doing better in life.\n\nAm I taking this too personally? I get the sense that he thinks I am not good enough for him.", "summary": "My fiance makes six figures, I don't, and he says I don't contribute enough and I make excuses for my situation. Am I overreacting?"} {"id": "t3_4p1npx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (53F) am a real estate agent and just found out that my daughter (26F) is not using me as an agent to find her home. I'm angry and hurt. Do I have a right to be?", "post": "I've been in real estate for about 2 years, and before that I worked in property management so I'm pretty experienced in these things. I know that my daughter and her husband have been contemplating buying a house, which I've been urging her to do for years now. I'm happy for them! I thought it would be a great bonding experience for us, not to mention the perks she could get by using me as her agent. But today she sat me down and told me that her and her husband were in the market looking for a house BUT they will be using a different agent. \n\nI'm devastated. I asked her how could she betray me like this, and she said that she did not want to mix business with family, and that she and her husband did not want me knowing personal details about their finances. I kept prodding further and she told me that I'm just too new at this and she wanted an experienced Real Estate agent to help her make this decision. That broke my heart even further and I quickly rushed out before I started crying. She feels awful and has been texting/calling to apologize, but I'm so hurt. She is my daughter, how could she not want to use me as an agent? Plus, this would help further my career by adding another sale under my belt, so I feel sad that she wouldn't even consider using me. Do I have a right to be angry? My friends say they'd be hurt too, and they feel like she's wrong. So I come here to ask you all because my son recommended I try it. Thoughts?", "summary": "daughter is buying a house, is not using me as her real Estate agent. I feel deeply betrayed and angry at her."} {"id": "t3_1t17ns", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] have been unable to get over my ex-fiancee [23 F] and I'm losing my mind over it", "post": "Like the title says, I'm still hopelessly in love with my ex and I'm about to lose my mind if I cant get over her soon. A little backstory, we were long distance for the whole relationship but that didn't stop us from being completely in love with each other. After a little less than a year together I proposed and she said yes but things werent as good as they shouldve been and we ended up breaking up shortly thereafter. \n\nFastfoward to the present and here I am over 6 months later and I still love this girl more than anything. When we first broke up we still talked some but then we went no contact when she got another boyfriend. Problem being is I can't keep myself from contacting her. We still enjoy talking to each other (she's admited this to me) and each time we talk it feels just like the old times to me. Recently she broke up with her boyfriend so I took the opportunity to try and ask her back and see if we can't make things work. She said essentially said no and obviously I was heartbroken. So here I am, 6 months from being broken up with my ex and I'm still in love with her. In those six months Ive done the whole work out, make new friends, find new hobbies, etc routine but no matter what she is still on my mind day in and day out. I know being firm about no contact will help but sometimes I just cant help myself sending her a message asking about whatever is on my mind. I need something to help me get over her. Its effecting me in getting into trying to start something with someone else because she is always on my mind. its even effecting my mood on a daily basis. unfortunately I know her reddit name and the things she posts occasionally rips my heart out and essentially ruins me. I'm to the point where I feel no escape from this hell.", "summary": "I'm still in love with ex-fiancee and I dont know what the fuck to do to finally get past her"} {"id": "t3_3csqwz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend of 3 years [22 F] is planning a surprise trip for us to rekindle our relationship, but I [23 M] may have ruined it already..", "post": "My gf and I have been going through a lot of tough changes, and have grown distant because of them. I love her a whole lot, and we're committed to trying to reignite our passion for each other. Her idea was to plan a surprise trip for the both of us, and I decided that I wanted to keep it a surprise until riiiight before we go.\n\nTrouble is, I saw the trip destination in a rental car insurance description that she sent me :( I'm BEYOND excited for this trip, but I know she's put a lot of hard work into it and I kind of wanted to give her the satisfaction of the reveal right before we leave.\n\nSorry if this is a stupid question to ask, but I just wondered if I should bring it up to her or not because of the nature of our trip, and what it might mean to her to have kept it such a great surprise. I guess it's equally a surprise for me to keep now, too..", "summary": "I found out the surprise destination for our romantic getaway, do I tell her now, or keep the surprise?? I'm super excited either way."} {"id": "t3_2qoa6v", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My own submissive reaction to this person, who likes to control conversations and makes exaggerated claims.", "post": "Hi\n\nI have to start by saying I (51M) won't be able to change this person (roughly 50F). She is my friend's wife. I guess that's an awful way to describe her but it is simply the case she married my friend (51M).\n\nShe seems very outgoing and she seems to like taking control of conversations. I am introvert by nature, I've often received the result of INTP in personality tests.\n\nI'm unemployed and receiving unemployment benefits. I graduated with my business degree last year and I'm still looking for a proper job (I have been working part time on and off but its not stable). Last night, when I was meeting up with both of them, she seriously told me I should use my rent money to \"buy a house\" instead. She tried to make it sound plausible as she once described a situation where she knew a person could've let her \"buy their house on instalments\" but they had to move (or something like that) so they couldn't do it.\n\nAside from thinking this was a totally ridiculous suggestion (me, on unemployment benefits, buying a house on \"instalments\") I later found myself thinking I was being too polite in my response. To be fair they only recently got married and are freshly back from their honeymoon. But this isn't the first time I've thought her recommendations were less than feasible and that she exaggerates things.\n\nI'm suspecting she's trying to make up for \"empty nest syndrome\" as her son has grown up and moved out. But I do have a habit of bottling up my anger and having it burst out in a rage. I don't want that to happen here. I'm thinking, though, that if I try to cut her off while making these exaggerated claims that she will get offended and do some passive aggressive thing. But this situation can't go on or I probably will lose my temper at some point.\n\nLike I said, I can't change her. But I have to find an appropriate response to her. I have my friendship with my friend to think about.", "summary": "Friend's wife makes exaggerate claims when giving advice and she likes to control conversations. I can't change her but I need to act appropriately before I lose my temper with her."} {"id": "t3_37xi5d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [M23] grabbing coffee with ex [F22]. Not sure how to proceed.", "post": "Long story short, broke up with my ex gf last year. I broke it off because we both got busy and we weren't really spending time together or having a sexual relationship.\n\nEven though i broke up with her, I never stopped missing her. I tried a few times after to reconcile with her but it went nowhere. I talked to her recently and she was responsive. She agreed to grab coffee but had to cancel due to being insanely busy with work. I told her to get back to me when her schedule allowed it.\n\nShe canceled about 10 days ago and I haven't heard from her since. Is it worth reaching out or should I leave the ball in her court?", "summary": "Reconnected with an ex and agreed to meet up. She cancels over a week ago and hasn't rescheduled since. Is it worth reaching out or should I leave it be?"} {"id": "t3_2ryj5x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 F] with my friend [18 F] one year, I like her but I don't know what she thinks of me", "post": "(A little back story: I am currently a freshman in college and she is a senior at high school and we met while on the same team in high school last school year. I am currently back at home for winter break. My sexuality is currently in question, but that's not the problem that I have right now.)\n\nFor a while now I've had feelings for her that are a little more than what normal friends would have. Before I left for college we were extremely close. We were hanging out a lot, and she was telling me a lot about her family life that she hasn't really told anyone else, so I felt extremely close to her. However also during these months we also had a couple of incidents where she lied to my face and we fought about it, but eventually made up. One of the last nights we had together before I left for school we were drinking and we eventually ended up at her house and spooned on her bed for a while, but we did nothing more than that. \n\nSince that incident I don't know if she thinks of me as a friend, or something more than that. \n\nFast forward a couple of months and I go home from school and I hear that she has a thing with some guy in her grade.\nI just feel completely left in the dust. I had and still have a lot feelings for her, but I feel like I have nothing in return. I feel like she doesn't even remember what happened and it pisses me off. \nNone of my friends like her because she lies to my face and other reasons, so I have no one to really talk to about her. I've tried to forget about her but whenever I slowly get there she either snap chats me or messages me and I end up at square one again.\n\nWhat should I do?", "summary": "Unsure about my sexuality. Got mixed readings from her. She seems to have forgotten. Don't know what to do now."} {"id": "t3_1zfitu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my bf [21M] 3 years, how do I do with being apart? Miss him...", "post": "We've been together for years and have been inseparable. We don't live together but we've never had to go long periods apart and we have talked to each other and seen each other every day since day 1. Now our circumstances have changed and I'm finding it hard. How do I deal with the separation and missing him so much? \n\nHe's very much a part of my life and is basically my other half. The positive thing I'm taking away from this however is that I feel like we appreciate each other a lot more than ever.\n\nWe're also each other's firsts so that also makes it more difficult as I've never experienced this before!", "summary": "Life circumstances have changed. I miss my boyfriend. Hard to deal with because I've never been in this situation before."} {"id": "t3_40vfog", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by reading TIFU in the restroom", "post": "I was in the restroom on my phone reading TIFU, the one with a person interviewing a prospect who came two hours earlier and used a notepad with something along the lines of \"Let's go out on a date, beautiful.' unbeknownst to the interviewer as it was on the opposite side. I started laughing, and yep you guessed it my phone went up in the air and fell into the toilet full of piss. At least I didn't take a crap. :/ I immediately turned it off and when I pulled it out of the toilet, the silent notification was buzzing on and off. I then dried it and used a chlorox wipe to clean my case and phone. I haven't turned it on and on another positive note, I tried to peek into where the sim card is where there is a liquid damage litmus paper and it was not glowing pink to the best of my knowledge.", "summary": "read TIFU in bathroom, laughed phone fell into toiled full of piss and now you guys laugh at me :("} {"id": "t3_21keqn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] I find my bf [20 m] flirting with multiple girls on FB", "post": "A year ago, he left his FB open on his computer while at work. There have been a few times before I noticed minor things that made me question what he was doing on there all the time. When he always left the room he wouldn't let me go anywhere near his computer. So without regret I looked through his messages only to find he was pming multiple girls not just one. They consisted of flirting. I felt betrayed and lost my trust with him so I had to confront him. He sat there and cried asking if there was anything he could do to make it up, and saying he would never do it again. So my mistake I gave him another chance. Things got better over time and I gained some of my trust back for him, and I learned to forgive him. We are in a long distance relationship now, and we manage to see each other every 3 months while he finishes school. Over time i noticed that he was acting funny, not really listening to what I say, he rarely calls me anymore, and sometimes I sit there wondering if it's really worth it all the hard work i've put in this relationship. I went on his fb out of curiosity (you can bash me all you want for this but i couldn't help it) I really shouldn't have to, and I guess deep down I never really got over it. Only to find that he is still flirting. He acts like a completely different person while doing this and some of the things he says. He evens asks for pictures of these girls he is talking to. Being in a long distance I don't know how to confront him about it this time. What can I do or am I overreacting? I just don't want to be that crazy gf.", "summary": "caught bf flirting with girls on FB, a year later found him doing it again except we are in a long distance relationship now. How do I confront him?"} {"id": "t3_47jays", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [21 M] has cancer, and I [20 F] am not sure what to do. Please help.", "post": "The issue here involves more than just cancer. My boyfriend, Eli, has stage II lymphoma, along with other health problems. He was supposed to die at the age of 16, but he's still alive. I met him at work and we got close pretty fast. \n\nI would never leave someone over the fact that they have cancer. However, he does not talk to me very often. Sometimes, we go days without texting. Sometimes, we go weeks without seeing each other. He says he's always busy with friends or family, and it makes me feel like he doesn't want to see me. \n\nIt makes me really sad to know that he has such a limited time, but he doesn't seem to want to spend it with me. That might be selfish, and I hate myself for being upset by this. \n\nI will always be there to support him, but I guess what I'm asking is if we'd make better friends?", "summary": "My boyfriend has cancer, so I'm afraid to leave. But I go long periods of time without seeing or talking to him."} {"id": "t3_2l8a7l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [23 M] of two years have been fighting about holiday arrangements.", "post": "Whenever it comes to seeing each other's family for the holidays, things have always gone smoothly. Most of my family lives out of town. His family lives out of town as well. Somehow, we always arrange to see each other's family during the holidays. This year, he is living 400 miles away from me due to graduate school. His family lives between the city he is living in and the city I live in.\n\nAbout a month ago, my boyfriend got a dog. Because of this, he has decided that he cannot visit my family with me because he cannot bring the dog with him (my family is allergic,) and doesn't want to have anyone but his mother watch the dog while we visit my family. She has only committed to watching the dog one night because if the dog has issues being away from my SO, she doesn't want to deal with it.\n\nBecause of the ridiculous amount of driving it would be to take the dog to his family's place then to visit my family then pick the dog back up (not knowing how long he would actually be able to visit my family in case the dog does't do well without him and his mother says no bueno,) he's decided that for neither Thanksgiving or Christmas he will be able to visit my family. His mother already made plans for Thanksgiving for him to be there Thanksgiving day and their traditions of Christmas Eve are set in stone.\n\nI feel like there is no compromise. I understand that the dog is his responsibility, however, I feel as though the dog's importance has taken lead over my feelings of importance I have for us spending time with MY family (I ALWAYS make time to see his family whenever applicable.) We hardly get to see my family--maybe twice a year when they visit the city I live in and he is in town.", "summary": "Why do I feel like the dog has taken importance over me? I am upset that the dog interferes with him seeing my family."} {"id": "t3_2t3uki", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am struggling with the idea that I (M 22) may never have sex with my partner (F 27). Any advice?", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half and have recently been talking about getting engaged, but there is one serious issue that is making me think twice, and I need some advice.\n\nMy girlfriend was married to a guy she met years ago. They were young, stupid, and not really in love but they felt it's what \"God wanted for them.\" So they did it, unhappily, and got a divorce a year or two after.\n\nThe problem I have with it is they never had sex. Any time he wanted to have sex, she always refused and instead made him do things with her. Essentially, she used him for sex without ever returning the satisfaction.\n\nAdditional details about her include being diagnosed with narcissism, depression, and currently seeing a therapist about those two things. Anything in life often has to revolve around her. Sex is definitely one of those things.\n\nShe has gone through that before and realizes that I will not go into a marriage without a sexual relationship being there. I truly believe that she wants it, I just don't know if it's going to happen and in the back of my mind there's the idea that I will never have sex with this woman. And that is frightening, to be honest.\n\nEvery fight we get into seems to be about intimacy.\n\nIs there any advice you have? Counseling is something we've discussed many times but quite frankly we don't have the money right now.", "summary": "I'm afraid my girlfriend will never have sex with me, and if you have any advice or thoughts I would greatly appreciate it."} {"id": "t3_vcmcz", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I loved her but it was too late...", "post": "We're in manhattan. She's 25 and I'm 31. I have commitment issues and broke up w/ her twice. The first time was after four months and the second was another one. I tried reconciling a third time and she said no. And that's when it happened... I was absolutely floored and overwhelmed w/ emotions - my chest and heart hurt and I thought about her continuously. Why did I realize ONLY THEN that I loved her?\n\nMy situation is eerily similar to [how Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson describes a broken heart](\n> Human beings are not always aware of what they are feeling. Like animals, they may not be able to put their feelings into words. This does not mean they have no feelings. Sigmund Freud once speculated that a man could be in love with a woman for six years and not know it until many years later. Such a man, with all the goodwill in the world, could not have verbalized what he did not know. He had the feelings, but he did not know about them.\n\nI'm seeing a psychologist. It's nice to have someone to talk to even though I don't have any *obvious* psychological disorders.", "summary": "I realized I was in love w/ her after I broke up w/ her... twice. And now I'm overcome w/ grief. Why?"} {"id": "t3_1yepw9", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Don't know where to start", "post": "Hey /r/loseit! I have lurked for awhile and every post is helpful and inspiring but I haven't been able to find a post that is relate-able to me. Pretty much, I am in an unhappy place when it comes to my health and body. \nA little about me:\n27 years old and a new dad. I am 6' and 212lbs. My highest weight being 220, lowest being 185. My diet, like my weight, has been on and off, up and down. I tried a couple of things like weight watchers, paleo, clean eating. In terms of fitness, I have tried crossfit (which I loved), insanity, and hiking, all that have been interrupted to bad timing with other life situations (moving, new job, marriage, a child) where my health was put on the back\nburner. \nI really want to lose weight and get defined along with a healthy lifestyle, especially now that my daughter is here. I am frustrated because I just don't know where to start. \nAny help is appreciated.", "summary": "M/6'/212 want to lose weight, get defined, and have a healthy lifestyle for my daughter. Need advice on where to start and what to do."} {"id": "t3_40xvra", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Dispute with my landlord before moving in, need help!", "post": "Hi, so I applied to move into a flat a while back, signed the lease, paid the deposit and application fee, and was just waiting on references. My bank (HSBC) took 4 weeks to produce one as initially they were only giving statements and were not producing the reference in the form the landlord wanted. They finally produced it this week and my landlord said i can move in on the weekend. However, he says that as it has taken 4 weeks, he wants me to share the cost of the rent for the past 4 weeks before I move in. Is this okay to do? He had not passed over they keys or allowed me to move in until the bank had produced the reference, which was held up on no fault of my own. He is refusing to allow me to pay rent from just my moving in day. Can I get some advice on whether he is being fair or if there is something I can do?! Thanks! (I live in the UK if that is relevant at all)", "summary": "Took 4 weeks for the bank to produce a reference for my landlord so I can move in. Landlord wants me to pay half of the rent for those 4 weeks."} {"id": "t3_1pzjsz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Breakups] Me [16 M] with my first girlfriend of 2 years [16 F] broke up for good need help.", "post": "First breakup started in the summer right after our 2 year. She asked was smoking weed the entire relationship. I couldn't hide it from her and said yes. She then proceeded to say the entire relationship was just a lie and fake. I kept telling her even though i smoked you were always my first priority. She said if i quit now there still would be a chance. I said okay and i still did it. I fucked up i know. we broke up again and then got back together a 3rd time.\n\nThe 3rd time back together i was set on gaining her trust. I wanted to make her happy and i loved her alot. I started catching on because she was acting weird and her text messages were all one replied i confronted her about it and said that i know you aren't into the relationship.\n\nShe told me that the feelings for me were gone and just liked being alone and independent because she wanted to be happy. I understood and agreed to break up once and for all. I know im still young but im so devastated. I feel like shit and regret everything i did. It was my fault. I asked her if there would be any possible way to get back together in the future and she said \"I dont think so, It depends\" she assured she won't be getting back into a new relationship anytime soon but i don't know, i miss her and just want to hold her and cuddle. I'm so lost. What should I do?", "summary": "Girlfriend of 2 years broke up with for good. Don't know what to do. Was all my fault and don't know how to cope with it."} {"id": "t3_2uu4om", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[18/m] Uncomfortable with my GF [18/f] speaking to her former interest, am I wrong?", "post": "Basically, my girlfriend of one and a half years has started talking to her 'friend' again. She told me one night many months ago that she wanted to fuck him really badly a year or so earlier, and that after much pestering from him she gave into his requests and sent him a bunch of nudes. I'm fine with things that happened in the past but that's not where this ends. About three months ago while I was in possession of her phone I betrayed my own values and decided to snoop around on her phone. Turns out, she'd been talking to him and he'd been questioning her about her sex life and telling her that he still jerks it to her photos and sent her a few racy pictures all the while she just played along and answered/responded to it all. I came clean to her that I had snooped because I'm not one to lie about these things, and after I talked to her she told her friend that she didn't want to talk like that again. Fast forward to right now, and she's started talking to this guy again and he's beginning to appear on her tumblr/twitter/facebook. I feel very uncomfortable with this, am I in the wrong for feeling like this or should I just trust her? This is really testing me.", "summary": "Girlfriend is talking to her former sexual interest that she said she won't talk to in a sexual way anymore, but I feel uncomfortable given their history."} {"id": "t3_4kzsrp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [33F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of 5 months, I said I loved him, he didn't reciprocate, am I wasting my time?", "post": "He's the first guy I've dated in 8-9 years. Things were pretty slow to start but I've been feeling the urge to say it for a little bit now. I really did think he might feel the same way, but when I said it, I got an \"Well that was unexpected.\" followed by him telling me that he likes me a lot but doesn't know me well enough. \n\nObviously that hurt. We don't really seem like a \"real\" couple to me sometimes. Like he's not all that affectionate towards me, it seems like I'm always initiating sex, I'll go down on him but I can't remember the last time he returned the favor. We do a lot of stuff together and talk every day, but sometimes he doesn't really feel like a boyfriend.\n\nThe day after I said it I told him I felt like an idiot and he told me not to. I wrote up some of my thoughts (really short, in bullet form) and gave it to him, but he didn't even say anything about it.\n\nI'm just wondering if I'm wasting my time with this. I like him a lot but if it's not going anywhere and he doesn't feel that strongly about me, then what's the point? Should I wait it out longer or move on?", "summary": "Told my bf I love him, he didn't reciprocate, now I'm not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_1ydix3", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I am an absolutely clueless student wondering what to do with $40,000 sitting in his bank account. (CA)", "post": "Hi Personal Finance!\n\nFirst thing you should know about me is that I am a student with 2 and half years before I graduate from medical school, and so I will have zero income until then. Second thing you should know is that the government has granted me more student loans than I actually need, which is a significant reason that I have $40,000 in my bank account in the first place. They usually grant me with around $20,000 each year ($1000 of it is pardoned), whereas my school fees cost $12,000 a year. I am also extremely lucky that my parents have been kind enough to provide room, board and food for me throughout my entire education. I will have to begin paying off my loans in September 2016, at which point I will be owing approximately $104,000 in total (accrued from both my undergraduate and medical studies).\n\nThe problem is that I am completely clueless when it comes to investments. Something tells me that I shouldn't just let this money stagnate for the next 2 and a half years. Would you guys be able to offer some advice on what I should be doing to make the most out of it at this moment in time? Should I be putting it into mutual funds, stocks, or what not? Investing is probably the area of life that I am least knowledgeable about, and I would greatly appreciate if anybody could shed a little light on what wise investing entails.\n\nThank you!", "summary": "$40,000 in account, what's the smartest thing I should be doing with it, with the context that I will have to be begin repaying $100K in student loans in 2 and half years?"} {"id": "t3_2nd7n6", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Rabies: Am I infected?", "post": "31, male, no current health problems.\n\nI have been camping in Greece, and was followed by some abandoned puppies. I had some really light scratches on my hand from breaking sticks for a fire. The following morning these three pups came and climbed all over me and as I pushed them off they were licking my hand. \n\nOne hour later, as I am packing to leave, I poured some water for them, and realised that one of these pups could not drink well, and it foamed at the mouth. \n\nI washed and within another hour I had used medical alcohol on my hand. \n\nIt was three and a half days ago. I spent yesterday in vain navigating Athens, and today I went to the hospital. The doctor seemed to not comprehend the severity of a man without symptoms. He did pointless tests such as blood pressure and with a stethoscope. \n\n\"You have no symptoms\" he said. I was refused the vaccine. He tried to reassure me that I could go to the ER if I felt photophobia or other symptoms. I hate to be that guy who second-guesses the doc, but the vaccine only works before symptoms occur, after which it is an incurable fatal condition (amirite?).", "summary": "Rabid dog licked my hand which may have had light scratches. I washed it, but only after one hour when I noticed the dog's symptoms. Hospital doc refused to vaccinate me. "} {"id": "t3_g07e0", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Crushing on a total stranger I see everywhere", "post": "M/21/gay over here. \n\nSo a few months ago I took notice to this one guy I see on campus a lot, though always in passing. One day my friend and I were scrolling through an invite list on facebook to a pretty large (gay) party (that no one actually cared about, i.e. no one went) and I recognized the face in one of the profile pictures on the invite list. Turns out it was this guy. I thought he was pretty cute from his profile, but there wasn't really anything to work with, so it just kind of faded throughout the semester. \n\nFast forward to this semester, and a friend, who was aware of my little crush, tells me out of the blue one day that this guy started work as a campus tour guide with him, though they never have the opportunity to interact. After that I noticed that I also have a class adjacent to this guy at the same time, so I see him two to three times a week when we're both walking into our classrooms. I also ended up seeing him at this bar I go to every now and then a few weeks ago, but I was rather inebriated, and he clearly wasn't, so I decided it was against my better judgment to say anything to him.\n\nBasically, I don't have the balls to talk to him because we're never really in the same space for more than a few seconds at a time. We do have a few mutual fb friends, though I don't know many of them personally -- they're just some gay folk that I happen to know through the gay social web at my university. My university's in a college town, so it's likely to run into the same person everywhere. I feel totally creepy because I probably am, but I can't really avoid seeing this guy on campus. I figure I should try to talk to him once or something, but I'm not sure how to go about it...advice?", "summary": "I have a crush on a stranger I see everywhere and have vague friend connections with, but don't necessarily have the right opportunities/balls to talk to him. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_gy56y", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do you talk about yourself without feeling egotistical at a job interview?", "post": "I can't do it. They ask \"So tell me about yourself?\" and I buckle. \n\nIn my head I'm thinking: \"I don't want to sound conceited\", so the words that come out of me aren't very flattering, even though I'm qualified for the jobs I'm applying to and interviews I'm getting.\n\nI understand they want to know more about who they might potentially hire and it's a fair question, but I think this is the main reason I haven't got a job yet after 3 interviews: I find it extremely difficult to sell myself. \n\nEven though I think I've analyzed the problem, I still need help with the solution.\n\nHALP.", "summary": "How do I tell my brain it's OK to tell people that I just met for the first time good things about myself without feeling like a douche?"} {"id": "t3_ujkqa", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "My son has been a little terror lately!", "post": "My 2 1/2 yr old son and I recently moved far away from all of our friends and family and because of this he's been really acting out. He's been throwing crazy fits for no reason, throwing hard, heavy toys at me, basically doing everything that I tell him not to. I understand that he's in the \"terrible two's\", but it's gotten so much worse since we moved and he isn't responding to the punishments that used to work. Between all of the stress that comes with moving and him acting out like he does, I've been getting migraines every other day. If someone could help a mother out, I would kiss the ground you walk on.", "summary": "My 2 1/2 yr old son is being a little terror and is causing me to get horrible migraines. I've tried all I can think of but I would love some helpful ideas."} {"id": "t3_z7d6e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [19/f] and I [19/m] have decided to go on a break. Any advice?", "post": "Quick back story:\n\nMy girlfriend and I have been together for just over three and a half years. We've always been really close and could work through our problems without too much difficulty.\n\nThis time last year, we both got into University. We're at different ones and are about a four hour train journey apart. It was hard at first, but over the year we got used to the long distance, and the relationship worked for us.\n\nFast forward to this summer: things have taken a really bad turn. She's seemed very distant, so much so that she won't even hold my hand. We've barely seen each other this summer, and on the occasions we have, it's felt really awkward. \n\nAfter keeping it locked up, we've had a serious discussion about it over the last couple of days. She says that she feels that we've grown apart and that she's not sure how she loves me any more. I asked if there was anyone else, to which she said there wasn't. After lengthy discussions, I asked if we would be better off as just friends. It seemed that the conversation was going that way until all of a sudden she says 'But... I don't want us to end'\n\nAfter many tears and after exhausting every possibility I can think of, I asked if it would be best if we went on a break. She agreed, and said that there's not much else we can do, as long as I was okay with it and it would help me too. I don't feel like I need a break, but I want to give her the space she clearly needs. I still love her dearly and want to make sure she's happy. \n\nI'm finding it hard right now; I know we were both young when we got together and that things change, especially at such a crucial stage of our lives, but even though we've grown apart, it doesn't mean that I don't still love her. Any advice would be appreciated so much right now.", "summary": "GF of 3 and a half years and I went on a break because she is unsure of feelings. She doesn't want us to end and I still love her. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_y9tdq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(20m) at my girlfriend's (20f) phone without her knowing, I feel terrible, should I tell her about it.", "post": "(me 20m, her 20f been dating for 2.5 years)\n\nThis is both our first relationship, and I'll admit I'm a jealous boyfriend I do my best to try and stop it but I just am. Lately my girlfriend has been getting really close to one of her guy friends from school and I'm suspicious of his intentions. He's pretty much the only person who texts my girlfriend other than me (I knew this already, my girlfriend is pretty introverted and doesn't have many friends, so I feel really badly about this)\n\nI noticed that he was texting her more and more often. I was doing homework in the living room while my girlfriend was in the shower and her phone kept going off with texts from this guy. I let my paranoia get the best of me and I looked through the conversations that she was having with this guy. It was all pretty tame stuff.\n\nIt was just that he's been texting her way more often than me, and it's off putting to me that they're always having a conversation when me and my girlfriend are home together.\n\nI feel really badly about this. Should I tell her that I did this and how insecure I'm feeling about this guy who's always texting her? I don't think I even expected there to be anything there, I just wanted to know what he could possibly be texting her about all the time.\nI'll be honest I'm kind of under the impression that most guys have less than straight forward intentions when being friends with a girl.\nI know I'm being a shitty boyfriend, I'm jealous and insecure, I'm sorry. I just need advice on how to deal with this in the best way possible.", "summary": "went through my girlfriend's phone because her guy friend was texting her a lot, I feel terrible about it. Should I tell her what I did?"} {"id": "t3_24nliq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why is affirmative action needed in the United States?", "post": "**Serious answers please**\n\nAffirmative action benefits select racial/ethnic minorities in the college admissions process over others, particularly those of African, Native American or Latino descent. Affirmative action is intended to promote the opportunities of defined minority groups within a society to give them equal access to that of the privileged majority population and is justified by helping compensate for past discrimination and exploitation.\n\nHanding out diplomas on a gilded platter doesn't seem like the solution to socio-economically disadvantaged groups in the US. It benefits a select few and reinforces negative stigma in all racial groups ( [Check your privilege] ). It would be more effective to rehaul public education ( **NOT** the Common Core!) starting ground up. (Since the synaptic density within the human brain is greatest during elementary and junior high schooling years, [See critical periods] younger students haven't formed misconceptions about what they can or cannot do, and are more receptive to learning.) \n\nI have been told (in lieu of my own disappointing college results, and [Kwasi Enin's] very impressive ones) that future success depends more on invested efforts rather than the institution that one attends. Following that logic, AA should have negligible effects on a student's career path and success.\n\nWhy, should one student be privileged to pursue education at a top institution that denies another student of comparable academic merit based on different ethno-racial origins?\n\n* **I am not trying to detract from Kwasi's academic merits.**\n* **Yes the careers of many prominent individuals, like our President, have been made possible by AA. I don't begrudge that. But the success of a few will not improve the lives of many.", "summary": "I think AA is objectively unfair and the wrong approach to making amends for past abuses by the government to certain racial and ethnic minorities. "} {"id": "t3_20sj4z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (31/m) have two aunts who are trying to assume a place in my life that I don't want to give them.", "post": "I'm 31 and lead kind of a turbulent life. Right now mom is dying of cancer. Two of her sisters, neither of whom I've ever been close to, have recently been trying to assume maternal roles in my life, doing things like calling me up to check up on me and basically try to give me me unsolicited and unwanted advice about things that aren't really any of their business. So far I haven't had the heart to tell them that I'm not really interested in them and certainly don't see them as mentors. I overheard one of them tell my mom that they want to \"take over the mother role\" in my life for her after she's gone. Even if they mean well, I find this ridiculous since I'm thirty fucking one and not in need of a mother figure anymore, and wouldn't seek one in either of them if I was. I want to shut this down and would actually rather not talk to them at all since it isn't my style to rekindle relationships with blood relatives whom I've never been close to just because they happen to be blood. How should I handle this without hurting them?", "summary": "I'm 30 and my aunts think I'm 12, how do I politely drive the point home that they're not my real mom?"} {"id": "t3_3hcfye", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [32 M] with my ex-gf [27 F] dated for 1 year, 3 years ago. Met Again.", "post": "Three years ago after our break up, we decided to meet for a drink and catch up. That was last week. Our evening at pub turned into the night, and dinner and 4 drinks later, we decided to continue proceedings at my place. \n\n*I learned that I was her last boyfriend (due to her school, a year old illness -nothing too serious and she is recovered now), while I had relationships, with the last 2 year long one ending a few months ago.\n\n* At my place, I tried to escalate , but she rebuffed and we continue to talk like two mature adults. Since it was too late for her to go home, I offered to stay on the couch and she did. In the morning we had breakfast together and then went separate ways. Overall I enjoyed her company a lot and now considering giving another shot, assuming she wants it. \n\n* She didn't display much of affection and was cold when it came to any physical stuff. Understandable. \n\n* I don't think she is a completely against us try again, but she was aloof and apprehensive, as she didn't want to give in. I don't know. I didn't ask her straightforward to try again ( but hinted a few times)\n\n* At some point during the evening, I suggested to have dinner with her mom (jokingly), something we'd done a few times before break up. Two days ago, she e-mailed me, \"My mom says that she's open to having lunch with you. Hope you're having a good day! :)\"\n\nNow I am confused, while I don't mind having dinner with her and her mom, I don't want to confuse a poor lady. If she wants try dating again then sure, but otherwise, it's just doesnt sound right to me.\n\nAnyway, I don't know what to do. Please advise.", "summary": "dates 3 years ago for a year. Broke up. Last weekend went for drinks. Now I want a relationship with her."} {"id": "t3_wla3b", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How does dating work in my situation? Story and Tl:dr.", "post": "I am a 16 year old guy, I've never once dated a girl before. \nThe problem is: I don't have time, I guess?\nMy parents don't want me to date; I come home from school late after practice; as soon as I come home I start my homework which takes me the whole night to finish due to the AP courses and my lack of smart.\n\nI don't work, and don't have a car of my own. I can't leave the house because one parent is home at all times. Also my brothers are bored pricks that don't leave me alone.", "summary": "I'm 16, no car, no job, and I'm not allowed out of the house. How can I date a girl?"} {"id": "t3_tr6au", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I'm having a problem with my best friend. Please help!", "post": "My best friend recently started dating this girl. They are really good for each other and I'm glad he finally found an awesome girl. He is an awesome guy, and based on his ex (a monstrosity of a human being- a waste of intelligence if you ask me) he really deserves to have this girl. I'm good friends with the girl so even when I'm a third wheel I feel included. But here is where my problem is. \nWhenever I'm with him, he treats me like he always has. We joke, we kid, we argue different viewpoints of stupid crap- what friends usually do. \nBut, when he is with her, he is CONSTANTLY putting me down, belittling me, and just trying to Make me feel inferior in every way. Im not sure what to make of this. \nHas this happened to anyone else? How did you handle it?", "summary": "my friend got a girlfriend and he is a dick to me whenever I'm around them no matter the location. Is this something I induced or what?"} {"id": "t3_syr07", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "How do I know when to quit?", "post": "My boyfriend (M20) and I(F18) have been in a relationship for approximately two years, however we took a three month break because of a disagreement. During those three months, there was no contact between us whatsoever. I ended the break by calling him and we talked about the argument and agreed that while it was mostly my fault he did have a part in it. We've been back together for three months now, and understandably there have been some obstacles. Specifically, he seems to be unsure as to whether or not he wants to label our relatonship or call me his girlfriend (I understand this completely). We pretty much just picked up where we left off (re: dates, activites, intimacy, etc) though we agreed to abstain from saying \"I love you\" until we were sure we meant it. He frequently becomes upset and gives me the silent treatment, seemingly out of the blue, and is generally unable to effectively communicate what is bothering him. I work extremely hard to reassure him that I still like him and want him around (recently bought him concert tickets and admission to a comic book convention for us both), and it seems as though I'm the only one making any effort to progress. It bothers me when he ignores me. This past weekend, he agreed to spend some time with me before I worked on Friday afternoon, but never answered his phone when I called or text messaged him. I haven't heard from him at all since Thursday afternoon (it's Sunday evening at time of writing this), when we went on a date and made plans to hangout the next day. I'm not sure whether to bother pursuing this person who I care about deeply, or to let them alone and risk the relationship.", "summary": "Significant Other sends mixed signals re: interest in me. I actively pursue them, but am frustrated with lack of communication and effort on their part. I am sick of being ignored. Wat do?"} {"id": "t3_2snbae", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is he avoinding introducing me to his patents?", "post": "I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 27, we've been dating for 10 months now. I have yet to meet the parents, and it does bother me because I feel like that is an important part about being with some one you care about and love. I want him to meet my family and show him off so much but every time there is an opportunity he avoids it. I consider myself a well rounded woman, I support myself, I was brought up in a great family environment and I'm the girl you want to show off to your mom.\n\nI've come to terms and realized that maybe he isn't ready, but what really did it for me was what happened on thsnksgiving. My family went to spend thanksgiving in another state to be with another part of my family. With my work schedule, I couldn't go. I communicated with him that I didn't have plans for thanksgiving. Thanksgiving day rolls around and I still get no invite to go to his parents with him. We stayed at his place the night before so thanksgiving morning we left from his place and headed to my place to hang out till he had to go to his parents. His parents live in the same town I do, and on our way he had to drop off food that he made for the dinner. I thought for sure this was it, this is my opportunity to meet them. We pull up to the house and he tells me \"I'll be right back\". Takes the food out and doesn't even invite me in. I was hurt . We hung out at my place till he had to go to his parents for dinners.", "summary": "boyfriend won't introduce me to his parents. I was family less on thanksgiving had no thanksgiving dinner, and still didn't invite me to have dinner with his parents"} {"id": "t3_13ryk1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Men of reddit: How do you prefer your partners pubic hair?", "post": "I recently went to a bachelorette party and while playing a drinking game of \"never have I ever\", one of the questions was \"never have I ever shaved off all my pubic hair\". Which then lead a bunch of mid-twenty year old women to discuss our preferences for shaving our own pubic hair. I was generally shocked about how different we all were (never shaved, full shave, landing strip, Brazilian, etc). It's lead me to think about it for the past few weeks, do men really have a large preference in how women take care of their hair down there?", "summary": "bunch of girls got drunk and talked about their pubic hair and now I'm curious what the consensus of men prefer."} {"id": "t3_m3nkx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Have I been taxed correctly/ can I claim it back?", "post": "I was working part time in an absolute shit-hole for just under 4 weeks to get a little bit of my own money while at uni. I left on the fourth week because I wanted to do some filming which would count as work experience for my course at the weekend but was supposed to work both Saturday and Sunday, I felt like a dick but I quit. So i've received all my pay slips and got my P45 today which says I earned \u00a3374 while I was there and was taxed \u00a374. Is this right? Am I supposed to be taxed while in full time education?", "summary": "Worked for a month but had to quit, earned \u00a3374 and was taxed \u00a374 is this right can I claim it back?"} {"id": "t3_q1do0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Does anybody know the story I'm talking about? (description)", "post": "The mysteries thread got me thinking, and I remember reading a horror/reality-type story called something like \"The 600 keepers of madness\" (Don't quote me on that). It was basically a list of a bunch of people (or entities) in asylums that kept keys or something along those lines, and for each one person, you would have to go to the asylum or hospital, ask the receptionist, and she would take you to some desolate hallway where there would be a keeper. Also, while you were there, you had to do some task, like never open your eyes. All of the keepers had names like \"Keeper of Light\" or \"Keeper of Blood\" or something. Any info would help.", "summary": "Horror story with various \"keepers\" of the underworld(?), and you had to do a specific task to get through each one."} {"id": "t3_2u20j0", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by asking a teacher for an extra 0.37 points", "post": "So, the first semester just ended at my school, and in one of my classes I was 0.37 points away from getting an A. This is equal to 0.05%. I sent an email to the teacher yesterday explaining the situation, and asking if she would be nice enough to grant me the extra points. She responded with a very cryptic \"Students earn grades, teachers don't give them\". This morning, I went in to talk to her again, and try to get the points. What I didn't know was that she had had a very strenuous chemotherapy treatment the previous day. She appeared very stressed, and when I asked her again she went off on a rant. In this rant she accused me of being a sexist and trying to take advantage of her because she was female, told me that I wasn't an A student, didn't put effort into anything in my life, and threatened to rescind some of the recommendations she had written for me, and not write anymore recommendations for me.", "summary": "I asked a teacher for 0.05% extra credit, got accused of being a sexist, and now won't get college recommendation letters."} {"id": "t3_1fzq13", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20f] boyfriend's [24m] parents keep leaving the gas on all day with no windows open then leaving the house, how can he make them stop?", "post": "Today my boyfriend went home after seeing me and the house was full of gas with their two dogs and two cats shut inside, no windows open.\n\nThey've done this a few times before, leaving the gas on (no flame just gas) then going to work or even on holiday/vacation. He's told them to fucking check but they kind of shrug and don't think it's a big deal. How can he impress on them that this is a fucking serious thing? \n\nUnfortunately he doesn't really care about leaving to live elsewhere unless he gets to live on his own in a nice flat with no loud neighbors within walking distance of his job (lol), and he'll need a mortgage for that which he can't get yet because of his work contract, so he can't just up and leave, which I think he should.\n\nHelp out Reddit, I don't want to see on the news one day that my boyfriend died in a gas explosion along with all their animal friends because of stupidity!", "summary": "my boyfriend's parents keep leaving the gas on all day when they aren't home, starting to fear for his life, they don't really care, he can't leave. How can he make them listen to reason?!"} {"id": "t3_231loi", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Need Advice- Possible fraud but not seeing it through one credit reporting agency", "post": "I've recently decided to start house hunting, so naturally I put a few calls and emails out to talk to banks and such about what kind of mortgage I would be able to get. The first and only person I was able to talk to today was a loan officer from a larger company who right away asked me the standard background questions and pulled up my credit report. Here is where it gets confusing- She starts asking me about a mortgage I already have, a few credit cards, another home loan...none of which I know of. She also see's a student loan and credit card that are in my name. Naturally I was concerned so I looked up my credit report thru equifax but found none of these? I only found the accounts that i new of on the report- no mortgages, credit cards etc? How would this loan officer see these accounts and not me? I called Chase and the could find no mortgage connected to me, but if these are on a credit report this will blow up my debt to income and screw me right now. Is it possible one credit agency doesnt have things that others do? I'm going to call equifax to dig some more but I wanted to know if anyone had experienced anything like this?", "summary": "Loan officer says she says multiple accounts on my report that i dont know of, but I can't find them on any reports? What gives?"} {"id": "t3_3jtt9w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19F] going to prom next year with my friend [17 M] he wants to treat it like a date, I just want to have fun.", "post": "Written this on my phone, so the formatting may be weird.\n\nOk so some history, my sister is two years younger then me and I've made close personal friendships with a lot of her friends, we grew up with different legal guardians, so I'm from a different part of the island (P.R) I got to spend weekends, summers and holidays with her and our friends, we went to different schools, I had alot of issues at high school (learning disabilities, not getting special ed for years at a time, bad grades etc) and ended up in a government program for drop outs and kids who were candidates for dropping out of school. I finished high school in a year, but never got to have senior prom.\n\nNow on to the situation. My sister being as awesome as she is and knowing me, knew I've always wanted to go to prom, so she asked one of our friends (who most likely would be going to prom alone) if he would take me, and he said yes. So she told me and I'm totally happy to be going to prom. But... me and him sort of have some history. In four years we become friends, I considered him my best friend for a long time, I was his first kiss, me and a friend if his dated, he's been completely supportive with my relationship and I with his, we stoped being best friends at some point and just normal friends, I went to college (well culinary arts school) and I'll be 20 by the time I actually go to the prom, this feels a little awkward for me, also my friend wants to treat prom like a date, he's had feelings for me in the pass, but I just didn't feel the same way, and he knows I don't, I already skipped out on a lot of teenager stuff, and don't want prom to be one of them, I also don't want to ruin his prom by friendzoning him and sorta feel like he is taking advantage.", "summary": "going to prom with ex-best friend who has feelings for me and wants to treat it like a date! How should I handle this?"} {"id": "t3_38y5h8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20M] crush's [21F] boyfriend [23M] cheated on her. What do I do?", "post": "I've become really close friend's with this girl, let's call her Sheila. I have realised over the past couple of week's that I really like Sheila and that I want to be more than just friends but she has a boyfriend who I'm also good friends with. I came to the conclusion to keep it a secret that I liked her so that I didn't possibly sabotage their relationship/ruin my friendship with her.\n\nWhile I was on a night out with her boyfriend and some others, he went off out of the club with another girl and spent a long time kissing with her. The next morning he felt awful about what he had done and really regretted it. He said that if he had done more than kissing that he would tell her what had happened but didn't want her to break up with him. I don't know if he is telling the truth about this or not though. He has asked everyone on the night out to keep it a secret from Sheila and I'm pretty sure everyone else will.\n\nI don't think he's the best person for her and lots of her friends have said the same to me also but no one has ever told her this. He has a history of sleeping with girls in a relationship and being unfaithful.\n\nI think Sheila deserves to know about what happened but I know he and the rest of the group, who I'm really good friends with, will know it's me if I do. Should I give him a deadline to tell her by and if he doesn't tell her myself? I think he knows that I like her also so would this come across as me strong-arming him into breaking up with her so I could ask her out?\n\nI really don't know what to do...", "summary": "I really like this girl, her boyfriend kissed another girl on a night out and feels awful about it. He asked me to keep it a secret from her. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1g8yox", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "i [24M] am in a bit of a predicament with new [23F] date", "post": "For the past month or so I've been dating a lady [23F] and we've been going to bars, having dinner etc. She introduced me to a few of her friends and one of them looked rather familiar but I couldn't place her at the time. The night went on fine and her friend mentioned I looked familiar and asked me about a local bar and that's when I finally remembered her. About 2 years ago I had drunkenly had a threesome with this girl. She had radically changed her look within the past years and became friends with the girl I am now dating. I answered her question by saying i don't frequent that bar (we're on a college campus) and just left it at that.\n\nWell, tonight I received a text from my date (while she is at the bar with her friends, threesome girl included) asking if I had a threesome with her friend. I have no idea how to respond to that. Of course I did have one, but it was over 2 years ago and was one of the most awkward times I've ever experienced\n.\nNow the girl I'm dating is a bit religious and generally reserved when it comes to sex and the like. I would like to continue dating her, so honesty would be the best idea, but I'm unsure as to how to admit to it without sounding like a dick, as it is not something I'm particularly proud of.\n\nAny suggestions?", "summary": "Had a threesome with a girl 2 years ago, found out she's good friends with the the girl I'm currently dating and she (date) just asked me about it. Unsure of how to proceed."} {"id": "t3_3cnpzw", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Alcohol - No theory just facts", "post": "Hi Loseit,\n\nHope all is well and weight lossy,\n\nI have been doing a bit of an experiment around drinking for the last two weeks by staying in a defecit of 100 cals a day and drinking around 150-250 cals of alcohol a day.\n\nI have measured my self and weighed myself,\n\nLast week I lost weight, this week it's gone up, I have lost size around my belly though.\n\nInstead of posting that lean gains link and theorising I was hoping we could have a thread about numbers, anyone gained weight or not lost weight while drinking in a decent defecit?\n\nAnyone lose considerable weight drinking 200-330 cals of booze a day?\n\nWhat I have noticed is I can eat perfectly if I can drink, if I don't drink then I eat some bad stuff, I seem to have to do one bad thing. I need to pick one to lose the weight I think.\n\nSo I know the way the body approaches alcohol and that may make calorie counting irrelevant, I just want to hear facts as in people gaining weight while in a deficit and drinking or not losing or vice versa.\n\nI have yo yod a lot myself, I was 17 stone, got to 14, went back up to 15, got down to 12 and a half, now back up to 14.\n\nWhen I lose weight I'm usually binge drinking in the weekends, I wnat to be a moderate drinker and drink a few a night and spread out my bad habit, but if people have found drinking in a defecit pointless I'll cut it out for a few months.", "summary": "Have you lost weight drinking up to 300 cals of booze a day for months on end while in a defecit of around 1000 cals a day?"} {"id": "t3_4d85sn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[28m] am the first Indian guy my girlfriend[28f] has dated....... a bit worried", "post": "I found my girlfriend through a friend, and we have been together for six months now. Things are good in that we both have similar backgrounds and our parents both like us so in Indian relationships that's a huge plus. \n\nAnd I guess things are moving really fast along which makes me a bit nervous. In Indian culture people usually get married and engaged pretty quickly so its not odd for our families. \n\nThe reason why I am posting here today though is that through talking to my girlfriend and some of her friends. I don't think she has ever dated another Indian guy before. In fact ever guy she dated before me was a White dude, and from what one of her friends said that my girlfriend had a \"blonde fetish.\" When we were out with her friends one of them made a joke that ___( my gf's name) would be the last person to end up with a Brown guy.\"\n\nI know that it was all said to be fun but it really is getting at me a bit. The fact that she waited till she was 28 to date a Brown guy, and how quickly this relationship is going. If she didn't introduce me to her family so fast, we could have dated normally like she did with her past relationships but she didn't. Plus I heard from some of the guys I know about stories. \n\nI am not a millionaire by any stretch of the word, but I do well for myself. I do have some fears going into this marriage and I don't know where to really go from here since things are in motion. Ideally I would like to get to know her better maybe 3-5 years, before we tie the knot but I don't know how that would be feasible.", "summary": "girlfriend wants to get married right away, but every guy she dated before me was a White guy. It definitely gets at me a bit."} {"id": "t3_1myokf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] asked [22 F] on a second date, she cancelled. Where to from here?", "post": "So after a good first date I asked her out again a week later, just over to mine, watch a film, pretty relaxed and casual compared to the first date, she said yes and sounded enthusiastic. \n\nI text her that day to see if she was still on for watching a film later at my place. She said yes and would give me a txt before she called over. \n\nA couple of hours pass and then I get a little paragraph of a txt to the effect of - She'd been in a terrible mood all day. She felt she wouldn't be good company for the night, that it was for my own good and that she'll have to rain check. I simply replied 'No problem' and left it at that. \n\nI feel her reason for cancelling is pretty valid and I haven't questioned it. But my question is, where do I go from here? Do I contact her and try rearrange or do I just leave it and wait for her to make contact with me?", "summary": "Girl cancelled date, not sure whether to contact her to rearrange or wait for her to contact me to rearrange? "} {"id": "t3_36sumh", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by snooping around in someone else's cellphone.", "post": "This wasn't today; it was a few weeks ago. I still cringe whenever I think about it, though.\n A bit of backstory: I'm a Junior in High School. Though I'm usually a pretty good kid, sometimes I do things that are beyond moronic. My history teacher was absent because of some sort of family emergency, so they sent in a Sub to fill his place. She's one of those people that takes control a little too seriously, but overall, she's not too bad. It just so happens, however, that she has the exact same cell phone as my best friend (who we'll call Hannah). These phones have the same make, same model, even the same color (dark red). I think you can see where this is going. Now for the FU. \n I walked into class and saw a dark red phone, which I though was Hannah's, charging on an empty table near the teacher's desk. My other friend, who we'll call Chris, decided it would be \"fun\" to go through Hannah's phone, just to snoop around a bit. I know. I'm an asshole. We started going though the messages and pictures, at which point I felt the shadow of an angry adult hanging over me. I look up slowly and there is practically steam coming out of this woman's ears. \"Why the Hell are you going through my phone?!\" My stomach dropped and my throat got a little choked up. At this point, Chris was already out of the room. I mean, he high-tailed it out of there and left my sorry ass in the dust. \"Um, um, um, this isn't your phone!\" was the only thing I could spit out of my imbecilic mouth. Turns out, Hannah was also absent that day, so there was no way that I could even try to redeem myself by showing the Sub that I made a mistake. Instead, I was sent to the office, given 2 days of Lunch Detention, and the Sub thinks I'm a creepy little shit. Oh well. Life goes on.", "summary": "I mistook my Substitute Teacher's phone for my best friend's phone, got caught going through it, and payed the sour consequences."} {"id": "t3_52w8mr", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By running against an electricity closet inside my AirBnB apartment and getting a concussion.", "post": "This happened two days ago but I couldn't post it due to my head hurting too much. \n\nI'm in Florence currently and the apartment I'm staying in is not made for tall people. I'm not even that tall (6ft\"1). So here comes the Fuck up. \n\nThere are two rooms in my apartment and my gf was chilling in the second bed room, for which you need to go down steps to get to. However there is a electricity closet sticking out so if you're taller than 5ft\"9 you will bump your head. \n\nSo I'm sitting in one bed room and suddenly my gf screams like there is something wrong. So naturally the concerned bf that I am jumps up and starts running towards here. In the moment I did not care or think about this ridiculous electricity closet sticking out that's made of FUCKING STONE. Not wood, nope, STONE. So as I'm running at Bolt speed I look down to prepare to run down the steps and literally hit my head at full speed against the closet, do a flip, and fall down the stairs. \n\nNext thing I know I'm in the hospital and getting a CT scan.", "summary": "ran in my apartment against a electricity closet cuz I thought my gf was dying and now have a concussion. "} {"id": "t3_1k2pjo", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My brothers are ungrateful douchebags. Constantly partying, drinking, and recently drug dealing. Worried about my mom's health due to said douchebags.", "post": "I'm not exactly an avid poster, and hardly a lurker on reddit, but I seriously need some advice here. Currently my 2 younger brothers both nearly 16, have been seriously getting on my last nerves, and my parents especially. They disregard any form of authority, and they are just getting worse and worse and of recently I learned that apparently they've been getting into shit like drug dealing.\n\nSo at this moment, my family is in near shambles, parents looking at a divorce, recently lost a lot of money trying to keep afloat the family business, dealing with a decent amount of debt, and currently dealing with a suing employee. My father is completely useless at shit like this and my mom is doing what she can to keep this slowly breaking family together for at least another 2 years so they will be 18 and leaving.\n\nNow I'm asking reddit for help because honestly, I can't take it anymore, and my mom is quite literally (and I don't mean figuratively literal) dying from the stress. She's been to doctors about her problem, and is getting the same answers to what's causing them. I'm not saying that I'm not the cause of any of her stress, but I am saying that I'm pretty much the only one in our entire family that is trying to help her, even if only a little.", "summary": "Family is breaking, mom is working herself to death, douchebag brothers are getting worse and worse. I just want to know what I can do to help, because I'm lost..."} {"id": "t3_11j6ad", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How can I get my live-in landlord to change his rules without causing tension?", "post": "So, this person is exceptionally difficult. There are a bunch of annoying rules he's imposed post-me moving in, he's probably the stingiest person I've ever met, and he's decided that it's acceptable for the heat to be at 5\u00baC when no one's home, 10\u00baC when sleeping, and 15\u00baC when someone's home and awake (41, 50, and 59\u00baF, respectively) thus resulting in me being fucking freezing always. I checked the landlord tenant act, and it says it needs to be at least 20\u00baC (68\u00baF) from September through June. The most annoying part about it is that he goes about telling me the rules with a \"that's the way things are\" attitude, and like, I understand it's his house, but I'm paying rent, damnit. And a third of utilities.", "summary": "I'm a pussy and don't want my stingy live in landlord to be pissed off for having to obey the law."} {"id": "t3_2j3gn3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[24f] broke up with my live in BF[27m] and I just want to know if I made the right call", "post": "We've been through quite a bit in the <1 year we've been dating. But that doesn't matter I guess.\n\nLast night we were out with a couple friends doing karaoke. He showed me on Facebook that one of his exes had gotten married and I asked him if he dated her after we had dated (we dated when I was sixteen) and he said no. A couple minutes later he mentioned how he had had sex with her, and I pointed out how he had always said I was his second sexual encounter. He quickly changed his story and said he dated and had sex with her after we dated. I dropped the issue.\n\nWhen we were driving home I told him the I was upset that he was dishonest with me, especially when I don't really care if he's been with other chicks. His response was to say that I was drunk and didn't know what I was talking about and that he didn't want to have this discussion. I tried to communicate that I was ready to drop the issue if he would just admit that he lied and tell me why he thought it was necessary but he just kept saying that he didn't and it was all in my head because I was drunk. So I told him that if he couldn't be honest when he was caught in so obvious a lie, that I couldn't be with him. It turned into a yelling match and he stayed with a mutual friend, but he's back now.\n\nI guess I just need reassurance that it's not ridiculous that I would expect him to confess to lying when he obviously got caught. The reason I broke up with him wasn't the lying, it was the yelling at me and trying to bully me into submitting which I'm not cool with.", "summary": "bf lied to me and then yelled at me when I pointed out that I noticed. I broke up with him. Justified?"} {"id": "t3_37orqc", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting to unclog the pool's filter.", "post": "We have an above-ground pool in the backyard and there are many trees around it. Last weekend my dad told me to take out the filter and empty it so the pump wouldn't get clogged.\n\nWell... I forgot to do it for a few days and we just so happened to have a couple of rainstorms that bumped the water level above the limit for the pump. The pool was filled by leaves, branches and other stuff that fell from the trees and coupled with the high water level and my mishap, the pump died because it was overflooded by water while it's hoses were clogged by leaves.\n\nNow, my dad is furious and I feel incredibly awful. A new pump costs about 200$ and this is not counting the hoses that exploded from the pressure and the various other parts that might be broken.", "summary": "I forgot to unclog the pool's filter after a few rainstorms, the pump burned out and I have a big repair bill coming..."} {"id": "t3_105ne2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I found out that my girlfriend has been sending pics of herself in the nude to my best friend. What should I do??", "post": "My friend was over today and we were just chilling out like usual. I noticed a picture of someone familiar on his phone but no matter how many times I inquired as to who it was he still wouldn't tell me. He got up to use the restroom and, as he did, his phone fell from his pocket without him noticing. Being the curious person I am I picked up the phone to see who it was and, to my horror, it was a nude picture of my girlfriend. He got out of the restroom and I promptly yelled at him to get the fuck out of my house. He ran out and seemed pretty confused. I confronted my GF about it. She keeps denying that she sent it. I saw the picture with my own eyes. I even checked and made sure it was from her number! I know worse things have happened but I'm pretty upset about this and I was wondering if anyone might have advice.", "summary": "Found a recent picture of my girlfriend's tits on my friend's phone. She says she didn't ever send one but I found evidence that shows that she did. What should I do??"} {"id": "t3_yhu4h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19] GF [18] has allegedly made out with another guy [20].", "post": "My [19] girlfriend [18] of ~6 months allegedly made out with another guy [20] (friend of hers), while I was on a longer out of town vacation. It supposedly happened in the guy's car after he drove her home from a party.\n\nAfter the incident we were both in town for around one week. We met regularly and I couldn't detect any abnormal behaviour. She went on a vacation to another country and two weeks after her departure I heard it through rumours which were told by several friends of mine, which they in turn heard from people who allegedly heard it directly from my gf and the guy.\n\nMy first reaction was to ask both of them.\n\nI called her and she instantly denied everything, broke down in tears and told me that she loved me and she would never do anything to sabotage our relationship because I am her first real love. Later, she admitted that the guy was a little bit pushy (whatever that means).\n\nThe guy also denied everything.\n\nUltimately, it is a word against word situation and I don't know what to do. On the one hand I don't want to lose her over a stupid rumour, on the other hand I don't want to be cheated on behind my back.\n\nIs there any possibility for me to find out the truth? Or if there isn't how would you fellow redditors solve this issue?", "summary": "GF allegedly made out with a guy, while I was out of town. I heard rumours and confronted them. They both denied it and now I don't know whom to trust."} {"id": "t3_2imejr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend[19F] Won't have sex with me[18M]", "post": "Hey /r/relationships, I think I'm gonna lose my mind. It's been around two years with my girlfriend whom I met in highschool and she refuses to have sex with me. I mean oral sex, feeling up, anything. She does a moderate sex drive and I can turn her on, but she refuses to do anything other than make out.\n\nI honestly love her, but it's making me lose my mind and made me do things I regret(Exchanging pictures). I just don't know what to do, her position seems to be final and I just can't see myself without her. I tried to think about the thought without her and I just couldn't see it; I'm worried that she would find someone else and then end up having sex with them(I know im pathetic). \n\nHer reasoning for not having sex is due to her religion; she comes from very religious parents, but her siblings are the exact opposite of her. The furthest we've ever gone is me rubbing the outside of her underwear and her giving me a hand job for a minute, then later crying about it to me because she felt \"guilty\". \n\nReddit I dont know what to do. I really dont. I can't see myself without this girl, but she's so prude and it's stressing me out and making me insane.", "summary": "Christian girlfriend of two years refuses to have sex, love her and can't see myself without her, but can't stand not having sex."} {"id": "t3_1440ze", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20m] have trouble expressing anger towards my girlfriend [20f] of 3 years. Reddit, how do you show you're upset or mad at your SO?", "post": "I feel as if I'm having trouble in this area and it is causing some minor to significant damage to my relationship. I just hate fighting, I hate conflict. So I usually avoid it. One of the ways I avoid conflict is just not expressing when something bugs me. I just choose not to. I thought it only disturbed me but my girlfriend recently mentioned to me that it bothers her as well. She stated that it makes her feel as if she has a lot of power in the relationship which she does not want. She wants it even and I agree with her. And I know what the problem is but I just don't know exactly how to do it. How do you show your SO something is bothering you or that you are mad at them?", "summary": "How do you express anger towards your SO? Not hatred but just things, events, actions etc. that bother you that he or she may do?"} {"id": "t3_25tm73", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17/f] should i start a fwb situation with this guy?", "post": "Hi, first post, but I've been lurking around reddit forever. I need to know whether or not its a bad idea to start FWB with an ex.\n\nWe dated for about 3.5 months, but it was hardly a serious relationship, despite being exclusive and calling each other bf/gf. I wasn't (an am not) emotionally connected to him, even though we lost our virginities to each other (and that was really just because we were both EXTREMELY horny, but I don't regret it by any means). We had a lot of sex and it was great-but that felt like all we did and when we tried to do other stuff (like go out on real dates) it was not \"bad\" but it wasn't fun either. We really just like each other as friends, and not even as close friends (throughout the \"relationship\" and before/after I have had closer emotional relationships with other guys). \n\nLong story short, we've been \"broken up\" for two weeks but on amicable terms. Now that my AP tests are over and its almost summer (where he'll be in Michigan and I'll be abroad for a while) I really want to start up FWB with him. I know if I offered he'd definitely take it up, and I am super horny and hate not having someone to call up when I am. My friends think it'll be a bad idea and that its not \"healthy\" to just have sex with someone, but I mean I've already tried dating him and neither of us enjoyed the \"relationshipy\" aspect of it, so I figure why not?", "summary": "Dated a guy for a few months, not emotionally connected at all, think he's nice but really hot and good at sex. Do I FWB with him?"} {"id": "t3_2dq19a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 M] was recently dumped by my girlfriend [18 F] of 6 months, she keeps saying she still wants me in her life, but never attempts to talk to me.", "post": "So my girlfriend and I are both going to college this year, and a little into the summer she decided she wanted to break up. She claimed it was because we weren't seeing each other as much as before, and that it would be easier this way, seeing as we decided we were going to be too far away in college for our relationship to work. \n\nIt was hard for me, but I understood. She made a point of telling me that she wanted to stay friends, and that she would be upset if we didn't. The first couple weeks we didn't talk. Then I ran into her and she barely spoke to me. I then texted her saying that I was confused. She said she thought I needed space, and that if I didn't she would love to be friends. So I told her I wanted to be friends too, and that I didn't need space anymore. Regardless of this she almost never initiated conversation. I have tried to talk to her a couple more times since then but she just seems uninterested. Is it time for me to just give up on being friends?", "summary": "Girlfriend says she still wants me in her life but doesn't ever attempt to make contact. Should I give up on being friends?"} {"id": "t3_24j07m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] love my girlfriend [27 F] but find myself thinking about other women sexually", "post": "I want to start with the fact that I do love my girlfriend. We have so much in common and she truly makes me happy. But I find myself thinking about sleeping with other women more and more often. We don't have sex too often because she doesn't feel comfortable in her body.\n\nShes not fat by any stretch of the word. But I think me being in better shape than her makes her uncomfortable during sex. So we have sex once every few weeks. I don't want to cheat, I never have, but I can feel the urges getting stronger and I don't know what to do.", "summary": "Only have sex a few times a month and find myself thinking about other women, even though I love my girlfriend very much."} {"id": "t3_15mb2l", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Bought my first masturbator toy... is that odd?", "post": "First of all... not sure if this is in the right subreddit. Potentially NSFW.\n\nThrow away account due to friends knowing about my primary account and don't want them to think I am a freak :)\n\nI'll start with a brief background... I am a male and grew up going to a very, very (stress on the very) catholic elementary, middle and high school. Certainly, masturbation was highly looked down upon. This school was pretty secluded from the real world. After finishing 9th grade, the school fell into debt and was forced to close down. Upon arriving at a far less catholic school, I discovered the art and the beauty of masturbation. Since then I have been doing the mundane, and typical masturbation techniques. \n\nAfter finishing my first semester at college, my thrill for risk has increased all around, one of the areas included masturbation. \n\nAs of about 30 minutes ago, I ordered a pocket pussy. I was kinda interested and decided to go for it. Is that strange? I've been raised to think masturbation alone is morally wrong (currently, I couldn't give two fucks if it is or not) but there is still that thought in the back of my mind... \n\nI realize this makes me sound like a weirdo. And frankly, I don't care if it does make me weird, I just wanna know for sure if it does or not... if that makes sense.", "summary": "Raised to think masturbation is immensely wrong, bought a masturbatory sex toy. Does the act of buying one make me weird?"} {"id": "t3_3n5msb", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By buying roses to ask a girl to homecoming.", "post": "So last night I decided i need to get my shit and line and ask a girl to homecoming. I planned out everything to ask her and go to bed. The next morning i ask my mom to take me to our local Fred Meyer's to get a bouquet of flowers, only to find out that Fred Meyer's doesn't open till 7:00. So i wait in the parking lot for 15 minutes and we go in and get the roses. After all of that is said and done I get to school go, go put my backpack in my classroom, and go to meet her in the halls. Only to find her getting asked by another guy, with a card and some coffee. She says yes, turns around and sees me with the roses. I felt so embarrassed and I felt crushed all day and ended up giving them to a friend. Fuck school dances. Fuck them all.", "summary": "bought roses for a girl to ask her to homecoming, only to come out and see her getting asked by another guy. Most crushing day of my life ever."} {"id": "t3_esrwt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Help Challenging a grade based on stupid human error.", "post": "I just looked up my grades for my previous quarter in school and realized I failed a course. I was certain I was going to pass it and I start to look at what is wrong, and then I find I have a missing grade where my final assignment (worth a lot of points) should be. After a little more poking about I find the following e-mail:\n\"Sorry I wasn't in class this morning, my roomate hadn't realised I was back from the weekend and turned off my alarm.\nAttached is my final music theory assignment. Please let me know if you want a printed copy (on any media, within reason, of your choosing) and when you'd like it. If just this attachement is enough, also let me know.\nSorry about this mixup, see you in class Wednesday.\"\nSadly, I found this message still sitting in my drafts box. I figured it was because that day (just after finishing the e-mail) the fire alarm in my dorm building went off and I didn't hit send.\nMy question is this: do you think I have any hope of challenging this grade based on this incident? If so, how would I go about it (contact professor, or department head, or dean)? If not, why do you think not.\n\nThanks for reading.", "summary": "didn't send e-mail with final assignment on accident due to fire alarm resulting in failed class. is this sufficient grounds for a challenge to the grade?"} {"id": "t3_3k0y33", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by getting hit by a parked car.", "post": "This morning I started my commute to work just like a normal day. Hopped on my bike, headed down towards Main St. to follow the bike trail. I've been feeling pretty bummy and unmotivated lately, so I was feeling good getting some exercise and not being lazy on the couch. My mind just starts to drift as I get halfway through Main Street. I notice my favorite coffee shop and start to think how I'd love to stop there before actually getting to the bike trail. As I'm approaching, suddenly a fast movement catches my eye about 2 yards away from me: a car door being flung open as I'm doing at least 15 mph, heading straight for it. I try to dodge quickly to the left, to no avail. The door clips my tire, my bike stops aggressively. I, on the other hand, do not stop. All of it happened really fast, so I don't know my exact trajectory. I do know my leg got caught on my bike, restarting moment of the bike. I do know my bike was above me at least once in all this, as I find myself crashing to my shoulder with it on top of me. My shoe even flew off from all this. I was actually pretty proud at this moment, because I knew it could have gone very wrong in a split-second if I would have hit my head. Several people rush over to see if I'm okay. As far as I knew I was, just very shocked. The driver and door-opener runs over and expresses his guilt as he helped me get myself and bike over to the sidewalk. End up sitting there and shaking it off, kinda beat up. The guys ends up giving me a ride home after. I knew immediately I was going to be okay because nothing broke, but damn am I sore. I've never had anything like that happen, nor have I seen it happen to anyone else. This is the kind of stuff you see in movies.", "summary": "biking to work, guy opens car door, which I proceed to flip over. Luckily, just bruised/scraped up and sore. Put it on here so you guys could laugh at me with me."} {"id": "t3_qjjx3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I was robbed today...advice/help? Not sure what to do...", "post": "So I came home from work today to find a window in my house broken and the place was a disaster. Robbers had broken in and taken everything they could get their hands on. Anything not stolen was broken. They even stole all of our food and toiletries. Long story short, I had to go buy enough food and supplies to last me until next payday. After the cost of the electronics taken and the food and general supplies they stole, I am out nearly $1,500 and I can't pay my rent.\n\nI'm not sure what to do. My roommate and I are both small young-ish girls and now they know that no men live in the house. I am terrified and broke. Here's a weird part....they left all the alcohol, but ate the pizza straight out of the fridge. And they took things from my underwear drawer.\n\nI didn't have renters insurance because I am an idiot and thought it unnecessary. Any advice, reddit? I'm afraid that on top of the robbery I'm going to get evicted for not being able to make rent. :(", "summary": "I am a petite woman with a female roommate. House was broken into and concernedbecause of money and safety."} {"id": "t3_360pip", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [34F] with my husband [32M] of 8 yrs are doing well, but I'm crushing hard on someone else", "post": "I've been with my husband for 8 years. He's wonderful and I love him very much. But as these things go, I've developed a huge crush on a mutual friend of ours [32M]. This friend and I have a lot in common and he weirdly even looks a bit like my husband. \n\nIt hasn't gone far. When I see him, my stomach is full of butterflies. When we all go out together, there's a lot of laughing anyways but I can't help myself with flirty looks and sex eyes and oh god. I know how I sound. The other night I had an intense sex dream involving a threesome with him and my husband and it's practically changed my personality. I have a great but intense career, we have 2 kids, I like fairly subdued hobbies but now all of the above is interjected with memories of this sex dream that practically make me cream myself right there. It led to me confessing to my friend over text that he's my \"married lady crush\" and he responded instantly with \"back at you babe.\" Of course now I am consumed. \n\nMy husband and I have talked about opening our relationship in the past. At one point, very intensely. He was into it then, but I worried he was only doing it because it was my idea and so I didn't want to do anything that we might regret. We were in a more intense place then though too. I know this is a question for poly folks, but I don't want to be limited to only \"go poly\" answers. I know my crush and his partner are in an open relationship and our friend group is fairly open and lefty and free love kind of folks. \n\nShould I confess this to my husband? Should I bring up opening the relationship again? I'm not sure I could actually go through with getting it on with someone who isn't my partner, I'm from a really traditional background, but oh my god, the urges. I know it's fine to crush and not do anything, but it's at the boiling point.", "summary": "Typical boring/bored married mom can't keep her focus due to sexxing up a friend in her imagination all day. Repressed sexuality and a potentially put off husband prevent any moving forward. Please help."} {"id": "t3_1x7ezr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Women/Poets of Reddit, would it be weird to write a poem about a girl you strongly like?", "post": "This might get a little long so bear with me. I had an assignment to write a poem in my English class. I was feeling a little blue because I found out my crush doesn't date guys down here only from New York where she's from. I can see why as the guys she dated were from NY but are total douchebags. As I was brainstorming ideas to write about, I decided to make the poem about my feelings for her. I titled it \"Alien (Her Heart's In New York)\". I wrote about how we were both strangers from different places, so that made us alike. I wrote that maybe if she knew more about me she could give me a chance. It's basically about liking someone who's heart and soul are in another place. My teacher gave me a 100% grade and also said it was beautiful and full of so much emotion. She wants me to enter this poetry contest using it, but I feel like my crush should see it before anyone else since it's about her. But I'm too shy to even say more than a few words to her but I like her so much since at least August when I first saw her. Should I show her? Would she like it? Do girls like romantic stuff like this? Serious answers are greatly appreciated.", "summary": "I wrote a love poem about a girl I like and was debating if it would be weird to give it to her so she knows exactly how I feel. And was also wondering if girls like that sort of thing."} {"id": "t3_35076b", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being an \"entitled, sarcastic cunt\"", "post": "Obligatory \"this actually happened today\" (because it really did but whatever)\n\nToday my high school's baseball team played a game at a local minor league baseball stadium. The stadium's about 20 minutes away from my house, and to get to it I had to drive on this road with some fast-food restaurants on either side of the road. After the game (my school lost 7-5) I was driving on this street, and I saw a woman pulling out of the Wendy's on the right side of the road. Since everyone was going kind of slow because of a traffic light, I let this woman turn onto the street in front of me. Usually when I do this the person I let turn will wave or smile at me to show their appreciation. This woman didn't even acknowledge me.\n\nNow for the fuckup: I had all of the windows on my car rolled down because it was warm outside and I was playing music at a decently high volume (not high enough for others outside of the car to hear it). After the woman turned without acknowledging me, I sarcastically said \"you're welcome\". Apparently, she heard it. At the red light, she stopped her car, put it in park, got out of the car, and made a beeline for my driver-side window. She then looks at me and says \"don't disrespect me you entitled, sarcastic cunt. Turn that shit (my music) down\" in this condescending, self-superior voice. She probably said it this way because although I'm 17, I look like a 13-year old (how-old.net said so). I started laughing, not a \"holy shit this is hilarious\" laugh, but a \"is this bitch fucking serious?\" laugh. As she angrily stormed back to her car I wanted to say \"sorry mom!\" or something else snarky and sarcastic but I was still laughing in shock.", "summary": "Let a woman turn onto a street in front of me, she didn't say thank you, I sarcastically said \"you're welcome\", she called me an \"entitled, sarcastic cunt\"."} {"id": "t3_3damim", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] broke up with my bf [23M] of 3 years who cheated on me with a mutual friend [20F]. How do I get over it?", "post": "So yesterday I finally got the courage to break up with my boyfriend of 3 years. I found out on Thursday that he cheated on me, after I dragged it out of him over the phone. He was planning on telling me in person the next day when he was planning on visiting (we were long distance). \n\u00a0\n\nHe cheated on me with a mutual friend, and I cannot stop thinking about it. All day my thoughts are consumed with sadness, anger, and occasionally dumb revenge plots. The worst part is that he has feelings for this girl, and I know that some day I'll have to confront the possibility of them being together. I was about to move in with this guy, and I had so much planned with him. I just don't understand why he chose to do this to me. We share many friends, all of whom think he's total scum for what he did. Still waiting for the girl he cheated with to apologize, though I'm not holding my breath. \n\n\u00a0\n \nI love(d) him so much, and I hate him for how he ended things. I feel like he ruined all of our beautiful plans, and I thought he was so so much better than this. We had a pretty wonderful relationship until this happened, and we were going to close the distance so soon. How do I stop dwelling on this and move forward with my life? I'm usually such a happy person, but this has truly destroyed my trust for people. I'll also undoubtedly see him in the future, and I have no idea how to act.", "summary": "Boyfriend cheated on me with a mutual friend and I broke up with him. How do I move forward, especially with the fact that he's probably going to end up with the other girl?"} {"id": "t3_11uzov", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Not sure if he[m/23] is interested in me[f/22]", "post": "Any and all advice would be great. There is this guy[m/23] that I[f/22] work with for two years now. We have great chemistry and have become what people at work call \"very close\". Everytime I see or think of him I get \"butterflies\" which is a feeling that I haven't had in my past relationships. This guy seems to just understand me and he knows how to handle my moods (up or down) without me even saying to him how I feel in that moment. We flirt or bug/tease each other whenever we get a chance, which is a fair amount. \n\nRecently he has been asking me about previous guy friends that I have in my life and what my relationship is to them\u2026 all of which are only strictly friends. This would come up out of no where and I wonder why he is asking. He has noticed how I look at him as he has made a comment about it and we can be quite touchy with each other in a playful way. I have no idea what he thinks of me or if he has any interest in me at all. All he has admitted to me is that he does care about me. We text each other every night for many many months now. \n\nAlso, very recently he told me that he plans to be engaged to his gf sometime in the future and that he can't see himself with anyone else, which was very hard for me to hear. I don't know what to read from all this. Does he just see me as a friend? Does he have feelings for me? Here is where it gets complicated\u2026 \n\nWe are both in a relationship with other people. I've been in a relationship for over a year and he has been in his relationship for a couple of years. When I first met him I thought these feelings for him would go away since he has a gf; therefore, I went into a relationship with someone else, plus at this time I hardly knew this guy. However, these feelings never went away and that is what I feel horrible about.", "summary": "Now I'm torn\u2026 Do guys text, hang out and flirt with girls that they see only as a friend with no other interest at all?"} {"id": "t3_1uszkh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend (34M) has 2 dogs, I (28F) have one. I'm going insane with so many dogs around....", "post": "I love dogs, I really do, but I have realized that more than one is just too much for me. We have been dating for 9 months now, and are getting to a point where I want to spend more time with him, staying over more often, etc. At this point we usually only sleep together one night a week cause of the hassle of all 3 dogs being in my apartment (he has a roommate with a large dog, so his apt just doesn't work). We talk about moving in together, but I feel like I need to be more comfortable being around him more often before I will be ready for that. But then the dogs have to be around more often as well. \n\nWhen they are all over, I feel like I'm constantly worrying about what they are doing, and where they are, and do they need to go out, etc etc. Plus, one of his seems to pee somewhere in my apt every time she comes over. And she just annoys me cause she is kinda needy and high energy, while the other 2 will just lay down and relax. Also, I'm a little particular with my place and things and can't stand his dogs on the couch (although mine is) and the hair that is covering my apartment after they are gone. I can't imagine living with them and having to somehow deal with it.\n\nPart of me feels like there is NO WAY I could move in with him AND the dogs. But they are part of the package, just as my dog is. And although his dogs are older, I feel like an awful person to say that we'll wait until he doesn't have 2.... plus, that could be years and I don't really wanna put my life on hold. \n\nHas anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do? How did you get to a point where it didn't give you great anxiety to be around them all and not focus on it???\n\nThanks reddit!!", "summary": "Boyfriend has 2 dogs, I have one. All 3 together is just too much for me and I don't know what to do to stop the anxiety that hits me each time!"} {"id": "t3_2q6etz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[28M] Have been abusive, not sure what to do and literature gives no hope. Been with Fiancee [23F] 6 months and had 3 physical incidents, many verbal.", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nI'm concerned for my and my fiancee's safety. We have very violent arguments which escalate in to shouting name calling and physical violence. I have pulled her hair a few times and pushed her down. She has pulled out a Knife and is prone to self mutilation which terrifies me (but does not constitute her attacking me, so it's not the same kind of abuse?)\n\nWe both come from neglectful, broken homes and are expecting a child. I want to be a father like the one I never had, but all of the advice online for people who have problems controlling their emotions essentially amount to a death sentence. Counseling is not even recommended, I should be locked up.\n\nI wish I had never been born at this point and am looking for an honest answer because I care and want to be a good person, but have a genuine defect that I can't seem to manage. \n\nDoes anybody know of resources where people actually CARE to help, rather than shame? I have nobody to turn to in life and am looking for any way to improve. I owe it to myself, fiancee, and baby to be the best partner I can be and I realize I have issues I can't handle alone. I can't take them out on the people I love, and have to do better in the future.", "summary": "I feel as though I am on a slippery slope losing control in terms of anger and need a place to turn to for genuine help."} {"id": "t3_duxam", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Does anyone actually have a RATIONAL argument against the TSA body scanners?", "post": "I'm sure I'll get downvoted, as the hivemind has clearly stated our position on this subject, but with all the talk I really haven't seen one **rational** argument against the scanners, and maybe there are some and I would like to hear them so I can willfully join the hivemind. \n \nHere's what I seen so far as the argument against them:\n\n* **They infringe on our civil liberties and are an invasion of privacy.** You are choosing to go on a plane. Nobody forces you. This isn't an illegal search on the side of the street or in your home, plus you have always been subject to search before getting on a plane. Flying is a privilege folks. \n* **They expose you to radiation.** A lot of people had said this, but my research shows that the radiation level is less than what you get up in the air anyway. I'd like to see reputable sources that say otherwise.\n* **The pictures are not distorted.** I looked up every picture and youtube I could find trying to find an example that looked anything closely resembling a actual naked body. They all look like x-rays to the skin surface to me. If there are reputable sources that say otherwise, please enlighten me.\n* **They save the pictures.** So what? You think all of sudden they are going to be posted to the internet and emailed to your coworkers? I mean really. If somehow a body scan image of you surfaced in the public you should be ecstatic because you are going to get a shit ton of money.\n* **They are unnecessary and do not make us safer.** Okay. So what if they don't? They don't make it any less safer do they? At a minimum they at least give some people a little piece of mind, even if unwarranted.\n\nSo reddit, what is the real deal here? Is everyone really that uncomfortable with their body that they would rather not fly then to have some stranger see a nakedish picture of them?", "summary": "I don't see the big deal with the body scanners and all the arguments seem to be irrational to me. "} {"id": "t3_1we4q2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Data center tech job with a large company or NOC tech for a smaller company?", "post": "I need help in deciding what is the best career path for me. I recent got my Security+, and perfect score on my CCNA certificate. After going through the Cisco academy at school, I loved working with routers and switches. That was what I was heavily exposed to and really enjoyed it. And so my career path would naturally to become a Network Engineer.\n\nI've just been offered a job at a data center with a huge company that deals with cloud infrastructure and will be working with maintaining and troubleshooting the servers. The company is growing fast and think there is a lot of room to grow within. This job is $18/h for a dayshift job. There will be a minimum of an hour commute each way on top of traffic.\n\nI also have an interview tomorrow with another company to be a NOC tech. Not to sound cocky or over confident but I believe I have a good chance of getting the job. The NOC is a small part of a private company. I feel there might not be as much room to grow within. The pay is $26/h for weekend shift, Friday, Saturday, Sunday from 6pm to 7am. Commute would be around 30 mins and I wouldn't have to worry about traffic hours.\n\nThe obvious choice would to go with company B if I land the interview tomorrow because of the pay and distance. But for those of you who are Network Engineers, what was your career path like? I have no experience but have a degree in mathematics and my two certifications.\n\nIs it worth it to gamble and accept the smaller pay with company A but be exposed to more things and more possibilities?\nOr go with the obvious choice for a couple years and then look for another job later on for more growth?\n\nDo you prefer sticking to one company for your career or jump around?\n\nAlso, how long do typical companies give you time to decide? Are they able to retract their offer if I don't respond quick enough?", "summary": "choose a big company with lower pay but more opportunities or more pay with a smaller company with less room to grow within?"} {"id": "t3_3b67o5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I expecting too much?", "post": "Hi guys,\n\nI'm a 25 yo dude who recently broke up with another dude because he wasn't suggesting things for us to do or making an effort for us to spend time alone together getting to know each other.\n\nHe did not seem interested in asking me questions about my background or the things i am currently going through e.g depression/anxiety. \n\nHe is 18 and was the one who wanted to make our relationship official, but was doing none of the above. Was I expecting too much?\n\nWe had been 'dating' for 2 months. I had been single and for a long time prior to this due to ongoing mental health issues. My libido had suffered because of this but it was there in flashes when I felt secure and trusted him. A good example of this is when we both went out for dinner, had a lovely walk home and then spent time playing co-op video games together. I was very turned on by this. \n\nHe didn't broach the subject of sex at all unless I mentioned it first and I had insisted he communicates his preferences or concerns with me to no avail.", "summary": "I'm 25 and my 18 yo ex wanted to be in a relationship with me but did not communicate with me well. Was I expecting too much?"} {"id": "t3_36xlfb", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "My step dad has kicked me and my 14 year old brother out, 6 months after receiving $50,000 from our mothers death", "post": "The following has taken place in Texas, USA\n\nSo to give a bit of back story, my mother died last September and we received $50k from her life insurance. It was to assist the family and help my little brother be able to finish high school. I was working before she had passed but has lost the job. My mother told me I didn't have to pay rent until I found a new job. Now my step dad has changed all the locks to the house due to me not repaying the rent from those months that I was unemployed. While he has bought himself a truck(probably was needed as we had no vehicle) and goes to the bar every other day and doesn't look for a job. And now, 6 months later only about 20k remains. He is not allowing me to get any of my stuff and I'm pretty much just sleeping at my SO's house, and he has all my clothes and computer. \n\nMy brother was kicked out for a separate reason. He was dating a girl who was around his age, and the phone he has allows him to text through his computer, which he utilized after his screen broke, but then one day he found messages where our step dad was sexting his girlfriend as him. Pissed, he called him a bitch and then our step dad choked him out and held him down. My little brother after getting away grabbed his shit and left to a friends house and he was told not to come back or he'd call the cops. My little brother then comes back two days later for some clothes, my step dad calls the cops and says my little brother assaulted him, cop says he can't do anything but calls me to pick him up and he leaves with our older brother out of state. I don't want anything to do with our former step-dad. I'm just wondering what I could do and if he can legally hold my stuff there, and its bugging me that's he is sitting there living off money that was to put my brother through high school and help us out.\n\nIs there anything I can do, should I get the police involved. The \"rent\" I owed him is nowhere in writing and was just a verbal agreement", "summary": "step dad kicked me and 14 year old brother out and is living off our mothers life insurance that was supposed to help my brother go through high school."} {"id": "t3_3sb54z", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "PetSmart Adoption Weekend", "post": "So... PetSmart is having a national adoption event this weekend. I was this close: >< to getting a special needs cat last weekend (she had that shaky kitty syndrome and no balance) but I think this weekend I might get a companion for my current fur ball, Squeaky.\n\nSqueaky has been alone for about 12 years (I had adopted two cats, but the other one was bat-shit crazy and wouldn't stop spraying my house, unnecessary factoid,) and I'm not sure how he'll take it.\n\nI've read a lot, a LOT! about introducing new cats, but would love some input from you folks about introducing a new cat to a really well settled in cat.\n\nIf it matters, I'll most likely get an older cat as I appreciate their mellow demeanor.", "summary": "may be getting a new (older) cat this weekend and would appreciate any feedback on getting my current (senior-ish) cat acquainted with the newbie."} {"id": "t3_4ahjxi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Non-Romantic] Me(19/M) has had a crush on a co-worker (19?/F), and after telling her she said she wasn't interested in a relationship. Should I still try to be friends?", "post": "This started after last thanks giving when I ( I wasn't really sure of this at the time ) had developed a crush on lets call her Molly. I hadn't been in a relationship up until then so I was really confused about the whole thing. This only got more complicated when a friend of mine lets say Ruby told me she had a crush on me. So somehow i went from 0-2 in two days and was completely terrified. I talked more with Ruby and we ended up dating for the next month. I think I convinced myself i didn't have feeling for Molly and was a little guilty of not liking Ruby back. I dont regret it though, it was the most influential month of my life and it made me a much better person. Ruby decided that we weren't meant for each other and the break up destroyed me for a couple months after but I came to see it too, and we haven't talked since. I lost alot of friends through her and have been more lonely then ever before. Molly and I hadn't seen each other in a while as our shifts hadn't overlapped at all, but she walked into the office one day and all of my old feelings came back at once like a semi truck to the face. I finally was able to tell her and we are getting to be better friends she doesn't want a relationship. I sometimes find it hard not to talk to her but I don't want to lose another friend so soon.", "summary": "I want to be friends with my crush even though she doesn't want a relationship, but I dont want to lose anymore friends. "} {"id": "t3_4m87nz", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "MA - Condo trust members the trust's procedure to put up a fence, now I think they broke the city's rules as well.", "post": "Hello,\nI am part of a small condo association for an old building. We have trustees who broke the trust's procedure and put up a fence on some of the property. Off the bat, they broke the rules because in our trust docs it states that all trustees must sign off on any change. The fence went up last May and they definetly didn't get permission. So we're looking into that.\n\nNow what happens is another section of fence needs to be replaced. We as trustees get all the proper permission from the other trustees (for now ignoring the illegal fence issue cause we need to fix this section first, its falling down) but in the process we find out that our city has a law saying any fencing project no matter the size requires a permit. we went to city hall to get the permit for the current project and were curious to know if the trustees who put up the illegal fence also got a permit. It turns out they did NOT get a permit.", "summary": "If i believe i can prove that trustees of my condo association put up a fence against city laws, i.e. did not get permits. who do i contact? Lawyer, the city? "} {"id": "t3_11mq2o", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "After 2 years, here's the real story", "post": "I was 17 and in a terrible relationship with a guy, let's call him Noah. Noah was heavy into drugs and on a terrible path. After getting clean myself the previous year, I was getting really tired of the name calling, screaming, door slamming fights Noah and I would get into. I was afraid for him, who wouldn't be? He was spiraling out of control and I didn't know what to do. Everyday I woke up, I'd dread seeing him and I'd postpone calling him. I was terrified of a midnight call delivering bad news. \nI wasn't the only one afraid for him. His best friend, let's say Sam, was constantly trying to get him back on the right track. The more Noah used, the more concerned we became. Sam and I spent a lot of time together trying to figure out how to get Noah to understand the consequences of his actions. \nIf I hadn't been so blinded with concern, I would've noticed that I was falling in love with Sam. All of the feelings of neglect and concern led up to one moment when Sam and I kissed. Just once. The guilt drive us crazy but we couldn't deny how we felt. We talked and decided that we couldn't tell Noah and I would wait until Noah was in a safer state to end the relationship. \nWe tried to stay away from each other to make it easier on everyone. \nOne night I got a call from Noah. Sam had been in an accident, he was in the hospital. I had planned on visiting in the morning but Noah became jealous and angry and forbade it. That wasn't going to stop me. On my way to the hospital, Sam passed away. We never got our time, we never got our chance. \nI called Noah, broke up with him, expressed my condolences for his loss and said I wouldn't be attending the funeral. \nThat was two years ago and I haven't spoken about Sam since the day he died. \nI miss him and I'll never forget how selfless he was to protect his friend.", "summary": "Fell in love with my boyfriend's best friend but stayed in the relationship. Best friend died suddenly and haven't spoken of him since."} {"id": "t3_1kltvg", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Started a new job at a super conservative company, got yelled at for a (very tasteful) joke. How can I preserve my rep at this place?", "post": "Redditors,\n\nI recently started a job at one of the largest, most conservative companies in the US. I've been there for two weeks and all it has been was training. Everyone's been nervous and I've been trying to keep it light amongst myself and the trainees. Everyone(including the trainer) was responding well and enjoying themselves despite the dry material.\n\nA couple of days ago at lunch my soon to be supervisor(post training) walked by. I just said to him \"Oh man, it's Josh.. I don't know about this guy as my supervisor\" in an obviously sarcastic \"just messin' with ya\" tone. He didn't respond and the other trainee next to me said something to the effect of \"ohh, denied. Typical supervisor.\" Long story short the supervisors came in and gave us a lecture on keeping it professional, which was immediately followed by my trainer lecturing me on the fact that \"This isn't best buy, you can't talk to your supervisor like that.\" \n\nWhile I probably shouldn't have made the joke, I tried to explain that I in no way meant for it to be negative or offensive but was just talked over. \n\nLong story short, I'm worried that this will harm my rep at the company as being \"the immature jokester.\" I worked very hard for this job and I don't want to let something like this color the perception the supervisors have of me.\n\nAny ideas?", "summary": "Made a joke at new job that wasn't meant to be disrespectful but it was taken as such. How can I keep from being looked at as \"unprofessional and immature?\""} {"id": "t3_1udqit", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22f] boyfriend [21m] wants to sleep with other women.", "post": "I came out of lurking to ask this one. Two days ago I found out my boyfriend wants to sleep with other women. I was at his place and went to use his computer. His gmail was open and I saw a conversation he had on gchat with his friend.\n\nHe was basically complaining that he loves me and finds me attractive but he wants to sleep with other women as well. He went on about how great he thought I was and that he was still attracted to me, but he couldn't help wanting to sleep with other women he found attractive, but he wants to be in a relationship with me. From the conversation I gathered he hasn't cheated on me, but I feel like it's inevitable. \n\nI don't even know how to confront him about it because I invaded his privacy and that's the only reason I found out. I really love him, but I can't help but wonder when he'll just go and sleep with someone behind my back.", "summary": "Found out boyfriend loves me, but also wants to sleep with other women. Found out by accidentally reading his gchat conversations."} {"id": "t3_3fjuvs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] dealing with breakup with my [17F] 1.5 year GF", "post": "So my girlfriend from over a year dumped me a couple of days ago and it's been crazy ever since. I haven't seen her yet; she told me, through texting, that we needed to speak when I was back in the country. We're still in contact but that is, partly, what makes this so difficult to me.\n\nShe's not only my (ex)girlfriend, also one of my best friends. We met online but we grew towards each other real quick. I'm so used to text with her all day and just talk about what's going on. \"Yo, I'm getting a milkshake. What are you up to?\". Those kind of conversations.\n\nI'm having a hard time trying to keep my emotions \"in line\" and not being a complete mess because of what happened. I've just confessed to her that I feel sorry for the things I blame myself for: taking her for granted as in: not texting spontanously but just waiting for her to take open the conversation. There are some other things as well, as not getting her \"hints\" that the relationship was slowly falling apart and sometimes accidently being condescending to her. I was just not realising that the things I say were hurtful to her.\n\nThe point I'm trying to make is that although I know that it's better of without each other, because of the little things that happen and cause big trouble, I'm having a hard time to comprehend that the breakup is happening and my lover and good friend are no longer mine. \n\nDo you guys have some solid advice on what I should do to make this a little easier for me? I'm going to talk to her in a couple of days (basically discussing how we're going to do this: no contact, slight contact, maybe a break?) and I'm worried that I might f*ck that up.", "summary": "what can I do to clear my head a little, although I'm going to see her in a few days and need to get it off my chest to her as well? "} {"id": "t3_1kva19", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ex(BF?)(26m) want to take things slow with me (28f). What does that mean?", "post": "Me and my SO were together for just over a year and we broke up about 3 months ago. I realized during our time apart that he was my everything and I wanted to make a go of it. He rebounded by dating another girl, and that upset me quite a bit. He broke up with her and came over to talk to me. He told me that he was just dating her to keep himself busy and that there was no emotional investment. I believe him. It was a very emotional reunion with tears from both of us. I told him I wanted to work things out and he told me he doesn't want to rush into anything. He said he wants to take it very slowly. What does that mean? Should I not contact him and wait for him to ask me out to places? I really want to make it work this time. \n\nAnother thing was, I text him and said \"Can you try not to date other people if we decide to work it out slowly? I can't take it emotionally and I don't want to compete.\" and he text back saying \"Yes, I'll try.\" What does the \"I'll try\" mean? I wanted to say something but I didn't want to push anything because of the progress we were making.", "summary": "Broke up with SO. Now he says he wants to move \"very slowly\". Not sure what actions I should take."} {"id": "t3_3ffvyh", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by letting my nephew pick his own tie dye colors.", "post": "Forenote: The purpose of this post is to highlight the humor in the irony created by an embarrassing situation. I hope this forum is not considered the correct venue to debate the merits (or lack thereof) of a symbol.\n\nAt the end of June/beginning of July, I started a tie dye project and made around 90 shirts. My nephew (11) stayed over for the July 4 weekend and I thought it would be fun for him to design 2 shirts for himself since he'd shown interest and helped me with some of the other shirts. \n\nHe selected two designs, a bullseye and an X. He picked out the colors. From yellow to red for the bullseye to mimic a sun. And I guess he wanted to channel US Independence day on the X by picking (from inside to outside) blue, red, pink, orange and yellow. \n\nI was almost as excited as him (if not more) excited to see how it turned out! I waited almost a week to give the dye time to really set. I washed out the X first since it had darker colors so the color would be more distinct from each other. And, ummm... it didn't look right. I had made such a high volume of shirts that it was financially impossible to use freshly mixed dye for each color with each project, so some colors of the dye lost vibrancy before they were used. For the X, this meant that the red and blue were well distinguished, but the pink, orange and yellow looked like a gradation of the red. \n\nSo, basically, we accidentally created a *confederate flag*. This is about 3 weeks after the murders of Clementa Pickney and the other 8 church members killed by Dylann Roof in Charleston, SC, less than 5 hours away. Also, did I mention my nephew is black?\n\nI had my more easy-going husband check to make sure my normally over-analytical nature hadn't overridden my common sense. He confirmed that, yes, this resembled the flag closely. My nephew now has one tie dye shirt with a sun pattern and another with red and blue fish scales with the hint of a blue X in the middle (I re-dyed it).", "summary": "I let my nephew pick the tie dye colors for his X design shirt and it accidentally came out looking like a confederate flag."} {"id": "t3_4lvbjr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29M] Am I creepy?", "post": "I (male btw) was reading a thread last night about age gaps in relationships and there was a lot of negativity about men over the age of 30 dating women in their early to mid 20s. The consensus seemed to be that such men were seen as either immature, manipulative, creepy, losers, predatory or a combination thereof. \n\nI'm a 29 year old man who will be starting university in a couple of years; I'm starting so late in life because most of my childhood, all of my adolescence and half my 20s were taken over by severe depression and social anxiety meaning I just couldn't have a normal life and missed out on what most people do at that age. I'm out of that place now and getting back on track but I am and always will be 15 years behind my peers; essentially I feel that I am an 18 year old in terms of where I am in life if not in actual years. \n\nGoing to university I want to get involved with life again and that may include dating; but the people who are at the same stage in life as me are also people who are much younger whereas the people who are the same age are far ahead of me. I don't really put any stock in age gaps, I've always felt that if two people are adults and both want to be in a relationship then that's their business. But reading that thread (and others) I'm worried that I'm destined to be seen as either the creepy old guy or the 30+ loser, or both because of the circumstances I find myself in.\n\nAm I just going to be seen as creepy/immature, am I in fact creepy/immature?", "summary": "Behind in life due to past mh issues, am I creepy for thinking about dating early to mid 20s women when I'm 30+?"} {"id": "t3_311tqv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIP & TIFU by for seeing my great grandmother's death", "post": "Just a little background for you guys, my great grandma was 103 when this happened 3 years ago. 3 years ago today, April 1st was also on a Sunday, and at that time I attended a youth church group regularly.\n\nNow for the story. My best friend and I had been planning on hanging out all week after church. However, because it was April fools day, and me being the devious fool I am, decided to prank him. I texted him that morning saying that we couldn't hang out because my great grandmother had died, completely forgetting that his dad was preaching that day. When I get to church I'm instantly surrounded by pretty much everyone there offering their condolences, which I decide to go along with in an attempt to really get my friend. Well about halfway through the sermon the pastor calls me up on stage to talk about what happened and stuff like that. Well at this point I was sick of the joke so I walk up on stage, grab the mic and say \"I really don't know what to say other than... APRIL FOOLS\" expecting a big laugh. It took about 2 seconds for people to digest that the entire thing had been a joke and another 3 for the pastor to come up and rush me off the stage under the accusing eyes of all my fellow churchgoers. But the story doesn't end here. After church we went to my friends house and were hanging out and having a good time. At around 4 my parents called their home phone and said they needed to talk to me. Unknown to me at that time, my great grandma had been pretty sick and wasn't expected to live much longer. Well I get on the phone with my parents and they tell me that she passed away earlier that day. My response was \"nice try with the April fools joke, but I already used it\" then hang up the phone. My parents then drove over, picked me up and took me home and explained that it wasn't a joke, and she was actually dead.", "summary": "Tried pranking my best friend in church, end up getting accused by the entire church. End up predicting my great grandmother's death later that day."} {"id": "t3_343gbb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] have a hard time socializing outside of work or school environments, what are things I can do to make friends?", "post": "I'm a shy person normally. I don't really talk much and I'm even quieter when the conversation involves more than two people (myself included). The only times I seem to open up are during work and school, at which point it turns around and I become way more outspoken and friendly. The only problem is that it's commonly not very appropriate to try to make friends in these environments.\n\nI've tried other social environments and activities, but nothing seems to do anything for me. It always feels like I'm just there to talk to people except that there's nothing for me to say to anyone. I have no problem with this at work or school since usually a topic and motive are provided. \n\nI also have hit rock bottom in confidence. I quickly lose interest if there isn't something for me to accomplish besides socializing because I'm usually of the mindset that I'm not going to accomplish much whenever I socialize. I've pretty much have lost interest and desire to be somewhere exclusively for socializing because it would be time better spent doing activities that I am much more likely to get something out of.", "summary": "I only have good communication skills when it's required of me and I find that those situations don't line up with most appropriate social environments, so I need suggestions for what I can do to meet people."} {"id": "t3_13ovxp", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Three weeks on from first breakup(24m)", "post": "I've posted before about what happened in the relationship. We both screwed up, probably because it was both our first relationship. I'm realizing more and more that WE screwed up though, not just me. We couldn't communicate effectively. I was afraid of commitment, and she didn't attempt to understand that or ask about it. I never even got out the words \"I love you\". And I did, just I never could say it.\n\n I hadn't grown up enough for her, I think. I still live at home and use a family car. She had moved out and had just purchased her first car. No questions were asked about our future, no plans for it made outright. And we never really talked about it.\n\nI think we could have a future together if we could have gone into this better. If we had a more typical beginning, instead of being forced together through friends. If we had both had a little more experience at managing a relationship. If we had talked more about what was wrong. I hope that we can try again in the future, after we've both had space and been able to move on.\n\nThanksgiving was hard without her. It felt like someone was missing. My family has been great throughout, and so have my friends. My support network has really helped me through the worst parts.\n\nI've learned a lot from this relationship. It's caused me to be much more introspective than I usually am. I just bought my first real car. I've been concentrating in my classes much more. I've reigned back on the video game habit. I've started hanging out with my wonderful friends more. I'm going to the gym again. \n\nThis breakup is helping me become a better, more mature person. I'm thankful for that. And thankful for the times we had together.\n\nThanks for reading, Just needed to write down some thoughts.", "summary": "Introspective, trying to mature as a person. Bought a car, best retail therapy ever. It gets better, slowly but surely."} {"id": "t3_1frwkx", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I (F16) have shared feelings with my best friend (M16) but really don't want to mess up our friendship...", "post": "I'm sure you guys have seen this a lot and I know how cheesy the 'best friend who has been there all along' thing is, but I'm not really sure what to do and I REALLY don't want to mess up my relationship with this guy.\n\nSo, my best male friend for years now (I think like 8 years) and I have always had a bit of a mixed relationship. He has wanted more with me on and off but I have always been hesitant. I really value our friendship and don't want to mess it up if/when we break it off, and also I have never had a real relationship and I don't want my first to go badly, especially with someone I already care about so much. I do want more with him, I'm just not sure how much more or in what level of commitment.\n\nHe has told one of our close mutual friends that he really does want something more with me but that he doesn't want to make a move unless he is sure I feel the same way.\n\nJust to make it all more complicated, we have all of the same friends and if we broke up it would cause a really big social issue among our group.\n\nAny stories of similar problems or advice would be awesome.", "summary": "I have feelings for my best male friend and he for me but I really don't want to mess up our relationship; what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_l898m", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "when looking at websites who offer \"high income, part time, work from home\" kinda stuff, how can I tell if its legit?", "post": "Ive been looking for jobs today, and i found this one, that is particularly interesting for me. that being said, they have sent me an email after i sent them my resume, and in the \"job description\" area, it says;\n\nWork plan\n1. our customer/buyer from your region make a payment to your account\n2. withdraw money from your account and send it to our customer service office\n3. make financial statement on payment\n4. receive 5% for every transaction immediately + $1600 per month. (you will get an 800$ every two weeks after the first transaction. the salary will be sent to you via bank account) plus 5% of each payment processing operation. you will receive this percentage every day after payment reception. you will receive 5% from every transaction. you will receive transfers from $500 to $3000 (an average of 3-5 transfers a week.)", "summary": "i think the company is a fake, and there is some kind of hidden scam that i am not savvy to, ideas?"} {"id": "t3_4og9eq", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Bought a custom engagement ring with no refunds, then our relationship fell apart", "post": "Hello. I recently bought a custom engagement ring from Etsy that I picked out with my SO of over 3 years. It's a beautiful ring but to keep a modest pricetag, we opted for cheaper stones in it. Buying it custom like this means there are no refunds on the purchase, however.\n\nSoon after I received the ring, things started going rapidly downhill. I think my SO did a lot of reflecting and came to the conclusion that we're not right for each other as I find it hard to be emotionally available and she tries her damnedest to make that emotional connection. She is unable to forgive me for the changes I have not been making for her in recent months to strengthen our relationship and help her through hard times.\n\nThings seem incredibly bleak, and I am considering looking into options to resell the ring or attempt to get a partial refund. I'm wondering if anyone might know where I could start; the ring is brand new and I am not interested in pawning it off at some shitty shop for much less than what I paid for it. Any advice would be much appreciated.\n\nThank you.", "summary": "Bought a beautiful ring with no refund policy, looking for the best option to resell it or get somewhere near my money's worth."} {"id": "t3_4rjq5j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My coworker [22 M] and I [21 F] have been hooking up consistently for almost three years.", "post": "Not a very interesting story, but it's been confusing enough for me to post, and I don't know where to go from here. My coworker and I have been hooking up consistently for about three years now, even when we would be somewhat seeing or interested in other people (though haven't dated anyone else.) We've never really talked about it, but we're really close and spend time hanging out together (going hiking, going to parties, etc.) but we've never considered dating (at least I haven't.) \n\nThe other night we were walking home from a party and things got heated and then he stopped and said that we should talk soon and that he was \"thinking of me differently.\" We haven't talked about it sense but yesterday while we were leaving work he said \"I love you,\" while we were saying goodbye and hugged me for an unusual amount of time, and that was somewhat atypical though it didn't seem super serious. I'm just really confused because this has been happening for so long but when we're around each other it's like nothing has really changed. Not sure what to make of that night or what to expect.", "summary": "My coworker and I have been hooking up for years but the other night he said he's been thinking of me differently, don't know how to read that."} {"id": "t3_3nmvbt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my girlfriend Alice [19 F] of over a year, mixed feelings about a threesome.", "post": "My girlfriends friend stayed the night with us after a party and for whatever reason we slept in the same bed. In the morning my girlfriend's friend, Jane, and I decided to mess with my girlfriend. After a while it stopped being a joke and it turned into a threesome.\n\nMy girlfriend was the focus for most of it but not all of it. After we finished we spent the rest of the day together and everything was fine until my girlfriend started getting mixed feelings about it.\n\nShe now thinks that I might leave her for someone else. I don't know how to fix this and I don't understand why she is upset now because she was the one that turned it into a threesome after Jane and I fucked with her.", "summary": "I had a threesome with my girlfriend and her friend and now my girlfriend is afraid I might leave her. I want advice on how to fix this."} {"id": "t3_3frmyq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [M/22] girlfriend [F/22] will periodically decide to not speak to me. What?", "post": "So this has happened before, but happened worse the other night. I come home from work to see my girlfriend of three years... and everything is going fine. We were planning to go out to see some friends, and then suddenly these friends cancelled on us. This made me pretty frustrated, because I was already getting ready to go/was tired from work earlier. Suddenly, my girlfriend just refused to talk to me. \n\n\"What's wrong?\" I asked.\n\nShe just looks slowly at me and says nothing. \n\n\"Is everything ok?\"\n\nShe just stares at me for a solid three minutes, completely silent. This goes on for about half an hour, with me trying to talk to her and her saying absolutely nothing. I'm getting pretty tired at this point, so I say this:\n\n\"Look, I am incredibly tired and having a hard time staying awake. If you want to have a conversation, I am up for it and have made it clear that I am up for it for the past half hour. If you refuse to engage though, I'm probably going to fall asleep.\"\n\nShe stares at me for another few minutes, and sure enough... I crash. \n\nThe next morning, she's even angrier at me. \n\n\"How could you sleep knowing that I'm upset? It's like you don't even care and didn't even try.\" (That's a direct quote).\n\nThis behavior is kind of alarming to me. When she gets upset (turns out she was angry that I got frustrated about not going out with our friends... because I was more disappointed to not be seeing them than I was to be seeing her), she completely shuts down and wants me to do everything. She won't even tell me why she's upset, leaving me to guess what's wrong... because I \"should know what the problem is.\"\n\nDoes anyone else's SO do this? I'm starting to question the longevity of this relationship if she can't even talk to me about these things. I have rarely been so annoyed in my life than when she just sat there staring at me for half an hour.", "summary": "My gf won't talk about what is upsetting her and instead just stares at me like she hates me until I figure it out. I would never do this to her... is this healthy behavior?"} {"id": "t3_1h5c8h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm[18F] am very insecure, don't want it to effect my SO[21M]", "post": "I was bullied in high school and ever since I have had major self esteem issues. I have been with my SO for 6 months and I've been having more and more dreams about him cheating on me, which makes me feel worse about myself that even in my dreams I can't keep him. .-. I really really like him and I don't want this to effect our relationship. What do I do to make my self esteem better? :l\n\n---\nWell I went to my schools dean and got an appointment with the schools shrink July 11th 9am I'm looking forward to getting this all behind me. c :", "summary": "I'm[18F] am very insecure due to getting bullied, I don't want it to effect my SO[21M] Help!"} {"id": "t3_1rd95a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My GF [22 F] loves me, but I [22 M] don't feel the same. I don't want to end up hurting her", "post": "We have been dating for about a month and a half, and at first it was her idea to keep it very casual. I agreed, because I had never been in a serious relationship before and I wasn't sure what to expect with one. But after a few weeks she was already telling me she was falling for me, and soon she would flat out tell me how much she loved me.\n\nI honestly care about her, and I like her a lot, but I know I don't love her and I feel like an asshole for it. When she says it I just try and act like it's not a big deal and that it doesn't bother me, but at this point I don't know what to say anymore. She makes me feel overwhelmed and smothered by how much she is depending on me.\n\nI know the relationship can't last much longer, but she is going through a really shitty time in her life right now and I don't want to add to it. She broke up with her last boyfriend of one year about a week before we started dating, she is changing jobs, and adjusting to living on her own in a new place.\n\nWe don't really fight much and we get along great, but our personalities are just too different for each other. She tells me how much more caring I am than her last boyfriends, which I think is why she feels like she loves me, but I feel sure I'll never feel the same way about her.\n\nI don't know what I should do, should I simply tell her? Should I break up with her? I want to try and talk out my feelings but I know how she feels already, and if I tell her how I feel I'll crush her.", "summary": "GF loves me, I don't love her, don't want to hurt her. Read the post, it's not that long."} {"id": "t3_44m7ly", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [27 F] break up with my bf [27 M] of 10 years", "post": "Hi All. I'm in a tricky spot in my relationship and could do with some advice.\n\nI've been with my bf for almost 11 years now, since we were both in high school. I never really thought that was a bad thing as we've both changed a lot over the years, but we've been through it all together.\n\nI've had a tough past year - mild depression, but I have my good days also. But instead of supporting me and helping me through this my bf seems to have had enough of me being upset and him having to listen to it. I've had doubts about our relationship for around 6 months - and I've told him this. But every time I mention that I don't feel appreciated he turns it back on me and tells me its my fault, or its all in my head. I'm not asking for the world, but just normal stuff any bf should do for their girlfriend. For example I received no presents for birthday or xmas, he can't keep up with paying for the flat we share, he never organises holidays or dinners or time for us, and he has a tendency to be busy on days that are important for me.\n\nI want more from my relationship with him, and if he could do those things I'd be happy. But how can I continue if he no longer listens to how I feel? I really don't want to be without him, but I'm not willing to stay with him and continue to be unhappy. I mean how hard can it be to buy your other half a present even something small - and not end up attacking me when I mention it.", "summary": "How can I fix my issues with my bf when he won't listen anymore. Is is time to just give up?"} {"id": "t3_1f6r7p", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I [24/f] regain independence from him [27/m]", "post": "There are so many things I can't say without him yelling for no reason. I want him to talk to me like he did before...\nHe pays for my life, I have no family to go to, no friends that weren't his first.\nI used to have dreams about what I wanted to do in life but they were never good enough for him and he'd yell at me for aiming low. \nIt sounds like an emotionally abusive relationship but how can that be if my real emotions left me years ago. I grew up with an emotionally and physically abusive family and my father thinks he can still tell me what to do and guilt trip me from thousands of miles away. \nI don't have the courage to stick up for myself or the means to take care of myself but I feel the last bit of possible happiness being sucked out of my soul.", "summary": "Been with my bf so long, I've lost all of my independence and courage to stick up for myself, and I have no way to take care of myself if I left..."} {"id": "t3_27wcaw", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [f/24/5'1\"/130lbs] am starting to become sexual uninterested in my boyfriend [m/27/5'7\"ish/>200lbs] because of his weight gain.. How do I talk to him about this?", "post": "Firstly, let me say that I love this man more than words can explain, and I do not want to break up with him. Our personalities are perfect for each other and he treats me better than I have ever been treated before. He makes me laugh everyday and makes me feel special. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. \n\nHe drinks at least 4 beers every day (more often or not he will drink more) and doesn't work out. He doesn't like vegetables and prefers junk food. He LOVES to snack, and quite frankly, he just eats way too much. He doesn't want to go to the gym, I already asked him. He lacks motivation and I just do not know what to do at this point. When we have sex it's so difficult to enjoy it because his gut gets in the way and I don't like looking at it. His belly sticks out so much it looks like he is pregnant. When we first started dating a year and a half ago he was smaller and I was fine with his weight at that point. I do not know exactly how much weight he has gained, but if I had to guess I would say 40-50 lbs. He is unhealthy and I am greatly concerned about his health and well being. I just wish I could do something to help him see how serious of a problem this is so he can change for the better..\n\nHas anyone had a talk with their SO about them losing weight? How did it go? What did you say?\n\nHas anyone been the person who was confronted about your weight? How did you feel? What did your SO say that hurt/helped you?", "summary": "My boyfriend is overweight and becoming unattractive to me and I would like advise on how to talk to him about it."} {"id": "t3_tp9q7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, my brother eloped today and announced his marriage on facebook before telling anyone in our family. Is it wrong to feel shocked and hurt by this? How would you feel?", "post": "*Let me preface this by saying I feel like a dickwad just posting this, because I know he's a redditor, and might see it. But this is a throwaway, and I've seen so many AskReddits with really great advice because it's an anonymous forum, so there's no reason to placate or give biased opinions or advice (since y'all don't know me).* \n\nI thought that I had a pretty good relationship with my brother. We talk fairly often, I always tell him I love him and basically feel comfortable telling him anything about my life, and always encourage the same from him. \n\nToday, I got a panicked message from my mother asking me if I knew anything about a changed relationship status on facebook. At first, I was like, 'oh silly mom, people do that all the time on facebook, it doesn't mean anything.' But I clicked through to his page, and there was a 'marriage' event on the timeline with a giant picture on his timeline of him kissing his S.O., and a bunch of sincere 'congratulations' comments.\n\nEventually he called me back (after I left a few voicemails, a FB message, and an email asking WTF?) and we talked (and I cried and I yelled) about it, and yes, it's true. Apparently he's been secretly engaged for almost 6 months, and decided to get married today, and then announce it on facebook before telling a single member of his family.\n\nI feel guilty about feeling rejected and hurt by this, because I know I should just be happy for him, and I feel like I'm making it about me. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Is there a right thing to do here? How would/did you feel? Any comments or advice is much welcome, because I'm at a loss for the right way to deal with this whole situation.", "summary": "Thought I had a close relationship with my brother, he eloped and announced it on FB before telling the family, I have mixed emotions and am looking for any sort of feedback reddit can offer."} {"id": "t3_27ope4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] and my crush/friend[25F] met on an exchange, tell her my feelings before we leave?", "post": "Situation:\n\nSo we are both college students on an exchange in an East-Asian country, both from (different) western countries. The exchange has lasted for 4 months now and the end is near for both of us. \n\nShe has a boyfriend in another city in the same Asian country, but doesn't like to talk about him and she sees their relationship as 'disposable'. Still, the fact that she has a boyfriend refrained me from flirting with her or telling her about my feelings for her.\n\nI had a small crush on her since we met, but we became close friends pretty fast and told each other our histories and personal thoughts. As I got to know her, my feelings for her grew, but it's obvious she doesn't have the same feelings for me. \n\nMy feelings for her have gotten to the point that it's hard to keep inside anymore, I just want her to know how I feel about her, but at the same time I think she will be upset if she hears I had a crush on her all the time. I want to make it clear to her in a way that showes her that I do appreciate our friendship.\n\nSo my question is:\n\nAs I won't see her ever again after this semester anyway, shall I tell her about my feelings for her, or do I need to keep them for myself? I prefer to tell her, but that might be just selfish/to relieve myself.", "summary": "Have a heavy crush on a girl I met on an exchange, became close friends, I want to tell her about my feelings before we leave, but should I do that, even though she has a boyfriend?"} {"id": "t3_1ujlj5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19M] cannot stop thinking about my friend's girlfriend [18F].", "post": "When I first met her, she was dating my other friend and she came into my friend group's Skype calls for playing PC games (/r/pcmasterrace). I started to like her a little and when they broke up I made my move, but they immediately got back together. I thought it too awkward to try again after they broke up a second time, considering that would be a douche move on my friend. But then she started to date another guy who happens to be another friend of mine who then came into our Skype calls with his brother. So I missed my chance. \n\nI drifted away from her after I got into another relationship at college while she was still in HS, but only recently have my feelings risen back. I can't say for sure if she feels anything towards me, but she has been placing her hand on me a lot, leaning on me, inviting me over for food, etc. I don't know if those are signs, or just because she's so goddamn nice. I can't get a good read.\n\nFor the past 5 days it has been really bad, to the point of headaches and my nights being filled with thoughts of her. I've known this girl for about 2 or 3 years now and she is absolutely perfect. The only issue is she's been dating my friend for over a year and a half. \n\nI can't stop thinking about her. We've been hanging out quite a bit recently. We've been shopping and skiing together, gone to an NFL game, and texted back and forth a ton. We're going skiing again Wednesday and to a hockey game on Thursday (although we are going to the game with her boyfriend). The guy she's dating isn't a scumbag, and really don't want to come out of this hurting anyone. I have never wanted to bring harm to anyone really, but I just can't get over her.\n\nShould I tell her my feelings on our next ski date? I've been replaying this scenario over and over in my head and it seems like it could be a freaking scripted movie. But maybe it will help release the pressure that's been building up inside me for this girl. Thoughts?", "summary": "I am really really really really really interested in my friend's girlfriend who I've liked for 3 years. Should I tell her, or keep waiting and hope they break up?"} {"id": "t3_3nel0s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [18F] asking for trouble if I pursue dating a [36M]?", "post": "I'm a freshman Biology major in the Pre-Physician assisting program at my local college, and so far I'm doing pretty well (all A's and a B). It was in a study group that I met the only other person in the Pre-Physician Assisting program, we'll call him Matt, and the only problem being that he is nearly 20 years older than me. I really like him, more than I have ever liked any other guy. He is literally everything I am looking for in a guy, but I know it is debatable whether or not my mother would approve, and I know my estranged father's side of the family absolutely would not (but really I couldn't care less what they think).\n\nAt the beginning of the semester he showed great interest in pursuing a relationship with me, but he is no cradle robber, actually it was only when he learned how young I actually was that he kinda stepped back (which I can understand, I do look far closer to my late twenties than 18). However, as more people drop from our course, we are spending a lot more time together as lab partners, study buddies, and just working together to make sure we keep our grades high. \n\nWe keep getting closer and closer, and I will admit that though he has always been extremely respectful to me, there has been a lot of flirting on both of our parts. I know he would probably agree to go out with me if I made it clear that I don't care about the age gap, which on a personal level I don't, but would the fallout from my family be too much strain on the relationship? Ultimately do you think I should go for it, test run the relationship in secrete, or not risk screwing up our friendship? Also, are there any unforeseen circumstances that you think I'm not considering?", "summary": "I like a guy and he likes me, but he is nearly twenty years older. Do you think I should go for it or will the age gap cause too many problems?"} {"id": "t3_2cbhxi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] with my soon - to - be ex[21M] : Abusing the dog possibly on drugs ?", "post": "Hey, an update from my first post \n\nWell, he convinced me we could make it work and he still wanted \n\nto be with me. I obviously was so happy and willing to wait. Come \n\nto find out he slept with a 26 year old the day after. So I called it, \n\nsaid I wanted a divorce. Things have been civil so far and I let him \n\npick up our 1 year old daughter to see her. Yesterday he picked \n\nher up and was supposed to keep her until friday morning. Well \n\ninstead he brought her back tonight saying he had to work. Again I \n\nfind out it's because of this other woman. Then I find out that he \n\nbeat the shit out of my dog, it's really awful what he did and he \n\ntraumatized his sister. I can't take my dog back because there is \n\nno place for him where I'm staying, I'm calling animal control in the \n\nmorning. All this combined, I called and told him I was worried \n\nabout his temper and how it might affect our daughter, and how \n\ndisgusting it was that he sent her home so his \"girlfriend\" could \n\ncome over. I've heard some here - say that he's been looking like \n\nshit lately and the girl he's hanging around looks like a druggie, \n\nthat with his temper, I'm worried he might be doing drugs.", "summary": "My ex is having violent out bursts, beat my dog and sent his daughter away for his girlfriend, thinking of revoking his custody in need of advice."} {"id": "t3_2bjj0v", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not understanding a common idiom", "post": "Another this-didnt-happen-today-but-ill-share-anyway TIFU. I was in college and visiting my girlfriend at the time's family. I had met them a few times before and I guess they thought I was fine and/or tolerable enough to be dating their daughter. Anyway were out to dinner with her parents and siblings and we're ordering food. We each make our rounds ordering. By the time its my girlfriend's turn, I notice she didn't ask to have her sauce on the side (the restaurant usually overdoes it and it kind ruins the sandwich). So I perk up and go \"hey, don't forget to get the sauce on the side!\" She's happy I saved her sandwich from certain doom and thanks me.. So I say \"I just know you hate when they over do it with the sauce.\" she says how she's happy I listen to her and pay attention to that stuff. I now look great in front of her family.. until.. \n\nUntil I decide to say \"its not that I listen.. Its just that I know you, like, in the biblical sense.\" Dead. Silence. It could have stopped there, but I thought they either didnt get the joke or didnt hear it. so I reiterate while doing this kind of weird hand gesture to seem all mystical and ominous: \"you know, I know you... biblically..\" The blank stares continue until she pipes up with \"Why are you talking about this..? do you know what youre saying??\" and I explain \"well yeah, to know someone biblically is to be so in tune with their soul and spirit you automatically know whats good for them... right?\" Wrong. Her brother just snorts and everyone is clearly holding back laughing at me to be nice.. she just leans in and goes \"I'll explain what you did later.\" 2 hrs later back home, she explains what it really means and that I just told her entire family we're having sex. Still feel like a dumbass to this day...", "summary": "I told my old girlfriend's family that I know her in the biblical sense thinking it just meant to know someone well. I was more than wrong."} {"id": "t3_e6e2u", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm At My Wits End", "post": "Here's the situation. I live in a house that my husband and I are buying. My best friend lives with us and pays rent. He has lived with me for many years, even before my husband and I were together. We generally all get along. The problem is my best friend's cat. I've found a new home for my cat because his cat was terrrorizing it. My best friend has told me straight up that he will move out if I ask him to get rid of the cat. But the cat has destroyed my couches (not declawed) among many other pieces of furniture, and shits and vomits in our floor every day. He goes in the litter box AND he shits in the front dining room, the office, the kitchen, whereever he pleases. The problem is, with the economy the way it is, we cannot afford to live in our house if my best friend moves out. So its like we are being held hostage by this cats behavior. My best friend refuses to do anything about it. Every day he has a new excuse. He calls the shitting \"accidents\" when it is clearly just a behavior problem that we've accepted for over 3 years now and will not go away. I've bought the spray that you spray where you don't want the cat to go, it doesn't work. We've tried to lock the cat in my best friends bedroom, he gets out. Not to mention the fact that my best friends' girlfriend's puppy is now living with us and has pissed and shit so much on our futon in the guest room that it is ruined. But that's another subject. What do I do? I am so close to just moving into an apartment and waiting for the house to be foreclosed on - but my husband doesn't want to do that.", "summary": "My roommates cat is terrible and he won't get rid of it, and I can't afford for him to move out."} {"id": "t3_1vl4mz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24M] have finally decided to quit trying to make things work with my ex [25F] of 3.5 years.", "post": "My GF broke up with me almost 5 months ago now when she found out that I was getting naked pics from other girls (don't lecture me on how this is wrong, I know it was a terrible thing to do)... I've been trying to make things work out with her since then but have finally come to the decision that things will not work out. She still thinks that any time there are girls around that I am trying to fuck them, posted all over facebook about what I did (subsequently both of our families found out in more detail than they are comfortable with), and has fucked a few guys (along with joining tinder) since we broke up. \n\nShe keeps me around like I'm some back up option, we hang out, we have sex, but I can't get any of the contact that I crave from her, she wont hug me, wont let me cuddle her, wont kiss me, says she doesn't love me anymore. I told her today that I decided that it is not fair that she is able to fuck other people and I can't, she tried responding with \"You got yourself in to this situation.\" I told her that I'm done trying to work on this since I am obviously an emotional crutch for her as she doesn't have many friends.\n\nI have been receiving plenty of interest from other girls who can give me what I want physically and emotionally and have definitely decided that it is over. She keeps trying to guilt me and make me feel bad. I'm fucking over it. I need some reassurance that I'm doing the right thing. I still love her but can't live a life where I'm option B and she is holding shit over my head at all times.", "summary": "GF broke up w/ me, I've been trying to make it work, finally decided to say fuck it and move on... need some reassurance that this is a good decision."} {"id": "t3_25oa5f", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Public domain - question for upcoming gamejam", "post": "The [Public Domain Jam] is starting soon. In essence, developers have a week to create games based on public domain works and submit them as entries to the competition.\n\nThe competitors entries will be hosted on and distributed via US based servers.\n\nThe rules (currently) state that you can use work that is public domain in YOUR country. \n\nThere are a lot of works that are public domain elsewhere in the world, but not in the US. (I was going to use Animal Farm by George Orwell for example...public domain in Australia and New Zealand, but not in the US)\n\nI've advised the organizer that there may be an issue here, so I'd better make sure I get this right.\n\nI've suggested that the rules be changed so that the competition abide by US law, which will implicitly mean that only published works from before 1923 are allowed to be used.\n\nSo, are the following assumptions correct??\n\n1) Content hosted on US servers is subject to US law.\n\n2) If I were to submit an entry that is based on work that is public domain in my country, but is still under copyright in the US, someone(?) may be infringing copyright? (Who though?)\n\nI'm not organizing the game jam btw, I'm actually looking to compete :)", "summary": "Convoluted post - Am I correct in assuming that hosting potentially copyright infringing work on a US based server is a bad idea?"} {"id": "t3_50iu26", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [22M] a bad person, or wrong, for wanting to stop talking to a friend [23F]?", "post": "Hi, I'm a recent college graduate, and I've always sort of had trouble with women in general, when it comes to relationships. Recently, I met a girl at a party and we started to talk a lot. We ended up hooking up more than once at my place, and kept talking a lot, which made me think something more may be possible. She's moving to get a job about 40 minutes away from me as well.\n\nWe've been talking for a few months at this point, and I wanted to ask if she was interested in being more than friends, like sort of officially (because we had only hooked up at this point, not really dating). I've been rejected for asking this question before, so I held off, but pretty stupidly a few nights ago I told her what was on my mind via drunk text. She told me she's not interested in that right now, which is totally fine, but she wants to keep talking and seeing each other as friends.\n\nMy problem is, is it terrible for me to say I don't want to talk to her? I know myself pretty well, and when I \"catch feelings\" they don't really go away for a while. I think it would be hard for me to talk to and see her as a friend when I still have feelings for her. Any advice for dealing with a situation like this in general would be great, as it's happened before and it probably will again to be honest. Just to say though, it's not like this happens with all my girl friends, didn't want to give that impression. Thanks for any advice in advance.", "summary": "Need help dealing with unwanted feelings and what to do with them. Should I keep talking to someone I have feelings for but isn't reciprocated?"} {"id": "t3_3psi3q", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by taking my toast out of the toaster with my trusty fork", "post": "[Obligatory this didnt happen now it happened a few years back]\n\nOk so its about8/9 at night and my mam refuses to cook me anything to eat, which is probably fair i had already eaten that day but i was quite hungry, so she told me to go make toast in the toaster, which i did without hesitation [me loves me some toast].\n\nSo all's well and good coming to the end of the toasting process, keep in mind im a ridiculously picky eater so if my toast is in anyway brown or burnt, I wont eat it. I didnt want to take it all out because then i would mess it up, I just wanted to see how it was doing. I was compltely unaware that you are very likely to die by putting metal in the toaster and I wasnt risking burning my pinky so I did what any logical 12 year old does in this situation. Shanked my toaster with a fork to see if it was burnt. Needless to say after the toaster exploded and my houses power was out for 37 hours, my toast was burned and I was very disappointed. Everytime my family comes around for dinner I am reminded of this moment of sheer genius from my past...", "summary": "Was hungry, tried to make toast, shanked an electrical appliance with a metal fork, nearly killed myself, burnt my toast."} {"id": "t3_1eyk92", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Just started a business. Not sure how to split share of company with my partner.", "post": "About a year ago, I had an idea for a website. I hired a developer who was pretty slow and crappy so I was looking from someone to replace him.\n\nAt the same time, an old roommate moved back to town who is a designer/developer who has the same passion for the city we live in (it's a lifestyle website). So it seemed like a natural fit - I handle the content and social media, and he the back-end and whatever else (he's not a native English speaker so he can't help with the content much).\n\nAt that time, I told him I was looking for a partner and, if he was putting in the same amount of work, was willing to go in 50/50 with him.\n\nThis was in October last year. We finally launched the site about a month ago and it's been going quite well. Here's where it gets a little complicated:\n\nI have a full time job but I can work on the website for 5-6 hours a day as I don't have a particularly active social life. He is the opposite, goes out all the time, girls, booze, etc. \n\nI know he works on the website in his spare time (he also has a part time job) but I feel like most of the time, he only works when we're having a meeting. Even then, sometimes it seems like I'm managing him more than he manages himself. For me, it's our baby.\n\nHe has said that he will start to spend \"most of his time on it\" after he finished some current projects.\n\nToday I met with one of our editors who asked if we were looking for a business partner. Dude has great connections and business experience so I told him I'd talk to my partner.\n\nTo even have this conversation, I think we need to determine our shares of the business before discussing the addition of another partner. I'm just not exactly sure how to go about it. \n\nShould I be honest about my feelings and tell him that I don't feel like he's putting in 50% worth? He's a bit sensitive and this is an awkward conversation so just looking for some advice about how to raise these issues with him.", "summary": "Started a business with a friend with the understanding we would split it 50/50. He's not living up to his end thus far and I'm not sure how to talk to him about it."} {"id": "t3_1s0t4d", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, how do you deal with problems in the workplace? [Serious]", "post": "A little background: I recently got my very first full time office job about 8 months ago. I work in a small team of 5 people. My position however, has had a very high turnover rate. \n\nI sit in a pretty excluded area. This is not by choice, but just how our office works. We all work in an open cubicle type area, where 4 of my co workers all work within close proximity. I am on the other side of the space, working by myself. If i want to talk to one of my co-workers, i have to raise my voice or walk over to talk to them. The only time anyone really talks to me, is when they need me to do something. \n\nI believe this might be the origin of my issues at work. I feel quite lonely, and have the suspicion that no one really likes me or even cares to get to know me. I've tried to put myself out there...but i am worried of judgement, rejection and annoying my co-workers. I cannot move desks, its just not possible. So i genuinely wanted to know if anyone had ideas on what i can do to improve my daily experience at my job, and how i can create positive work relationships with my co-workers. \n\n[", "summary": "] how can i not feel lonely and excluded at work when my desk is so far away from my co-workers?"} {"id": "t3_11viyd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Family member (18) pretending to shoot people, don't like it one bit, am I over reacting to think its unacceptable? if not, how you explain it to family?", "post": "I have a family member (cousin) who is almost 18 who I recently saw and had some \"altercations\" with because of the way he treated other people with his temper. I've seen him multiple times shoot his father, mother, brother, grandmother, and girlfriend with an unloaded air-soft gun, at one point I had it and called the police because he threatened to shoot his girlfriend between the eyes, shoved his mother down to the ground and got in his grandmothers face. I had it with his shit and called the police to him (for more reasons than just the gun thing, it was physical too.), which after words really didn't seem to help much, as neither did me trying to talk to him, but as I was leaving, he made a remark that he'd never talk to me again and pointed the air soft gun at me \"pretending\" to shoot me, I told him that if he ever did that again to me or anyone else with me present I would be pointing a real gun with real bullets back at him until he was dealt with accordingly by either me or the police. I was thinking about it today and said something to the family who he does it to, but they seem to blow it off, because he's had a fucked up life to say the least; his farther was absent in jail half his life - he feels a banded by his own mother and family, and I guess they think he's only \"playing\", I'm not totally sure if I'm over thinking being concerned with this behavior and he's just acting out emotions or if this could truly be a problem. How would I go about explaining to family in great detail - beyond that of which they can just rub off that this indeed is an emotional problem?", "summary": "I beg you to read the entire post, but cousin shoots people with a fake air soft gun, am I crazy for being concerned with it or his he crazy for doing it?"} {"id": "t3_19ivsi", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "(Ca) Hey Personal Finance - getting manulife one mortgage - need help with ledger system", "post": "Hey!\nSo i have recently tranfered my mortgage to a manulife one style account (basically it's a large loan that encompasses everything and you pay less interest because all of your \"Savings\" and other monies are working toward lowering your debt...just a short description..i'm not looking for advice on this type of mortgage).\n\nThe struggle is, now that all the money is in one big pot, my wife and i want to have seperate \"Accounts\" notated on a spreadsheet that have automatic \"payments\" that go into them. So, on pay day my pay goes on to the spreadsheet automatically (i have looked for HOURS On google to see how to do this, and i just can't), then gets cut up to \"house payment\" \"car\" \"savings' accounts etc. So, at the end of the month we can adjust the numbers to \"Real\" (ie/ if we have a car repair that comes out of the car account, we can see we had 4000 in there, and change it to reflect the spending, similar to moving the money from the account in a traditional money setting) but we dont want to fiddle with putting in paychecks and redirecting account money every couple of weeks.\n\nI hope i'm making sense.", "summary": "an easy spreadsheet formula (or not easy, just easy to understand and implement) to have automatic payments and automatic redirection of those payments - preferably on a spreadsheet but i'm open to other forms of tracking."} {"id": "t3_2cm8z9", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "7 days, first time solo, where to go?", "post": "I have two questions really...\n\nI have **7 days at the end of this month to go wherever**, it is quite short notice i know, so im sure the cost may go up slightly (to get there).\n\nFirst of all, **where would be a good place to go for a week like that?** I really want to go to SE asia, but 7 days isn't long for that. Although, it is very unlikely i will have free time like this again for quite a while.\n\nI've been to most european countries but never alone, i've never been to asia or anywhere else other than the US. \n\nMy second question is about the fact that im not very popular where i am. I have problems making new friends, i find it very difficult and am still working on figuring out why (it appears the friends i do have, have no interest in me also, hence the only way to travel is solo). \n\nAnyway, to cut to the point, i am not great at making new friends it seems so i am afraid i would fall into the same trap in another country. Of course, that'd ruin it all and make me as lonely as i already am. **Is it likely that i will meet anyone, given im not great at talking to random people?** Ideally, people i would like to know throughout the future too.\n\nI'm not bad socially, it is just with new people that i struggle unless introduced, then i am fine.\n\nI get nowhere here, though, so i have to go somewhere or make some change to be happier.\n\nand some", "summary": "Budget: ~\u00a31k on flights, then enough of a budget to not worry about spending. difficult to give an exact value as i do not know the cost of these countries"} {"id": "t3_4jdwx8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22M] father [52M] keeps subtly bringing up the idea of divorcing my mother [52F]. Not sure how to deal with this.", "post": "My mother and I have a rocky relationship. For example she ruined my graduation, is nasty and ungrateful to my dad and sister (who both still live at home), and plays the martyr a lot. I really don't like her.\n\nI moved across the country for college four years ago and didn't plan on moving back because of my family. My dad first made a joke about divorcing my mom about six months ago, when they were arguing about whether they should sell the house my sister and I grew up in. She wanted to move away from the city, he wanted to move into the city, and I guess they got into a big fight.\n\nHe then brought it up again when my mom got a dog against my dad's wishes. She said that now that she's an empty nester, she deserves the dog, and didn't care what my dad thought. I was especially pissed at her because she got the same breed as my dog who died a year ago after I specifically asked her not to.\n\nThis weekend was my graduation. My mom and I had a huge fight about something that I tried to keep between us but she made it apparent to the rest of my family who flew out to visit me. My dad was talking me out of a panic attack for the majority of dinner, and he brought up divorcing my mom again. I kind of pressed a little bit saying \"I don't want you to stay in a marriage if you're unhappy\" and he said \"sometimes it's better to just not rock the boat.\" I left it at that.\n\nI might be biased right now because I'm really really upset with my mom to the point where I'm weighing cutting her out of my life, but these comments by my dad are kind of eating away at me. What should I do about this? I don't want my dad to be unhappy but he seems to be flirting with the idea of divorce.", "summary": "I dislike my mom. My dad keeps floating the idea of divorce in very small and subtle ways. I don't want to encourage him because of my biases. I also don't want him to stay married if he's unhappy."} {"id": "t3_ql8od", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I need really specific car accident advice...", "post": "Alright. So basically, about a month ago, I was driving my car while I was very tired and crashed into a few parked cars. I hit one slightly damaging the car, but then totaled the second truck that I hit, along with my own for that matter. The damage that was done to the truck was something along the lines of 7k, but the car is a 1994 Ford Ranger with around 300k miles on it, so it's worth $1000 on a good day( according to blue book). I wasn't insured, and my license was suspended as well. I stayed after and we agreed to settle this outside of insurance, but i'm pretty sure he is not insured either. He definitely doesn't have collision, since he would have gone through his insurance by now. I told him i'd help get him a new car, or make payments towards a new one, to the extent that I can. Keep in mind, I'm a broke college student, that works part time and have my own financial obligations such as rent etc. So, I visited him today, bringing $200 with me as part of my promise to help pay for his vehicle, but now he's trying to raise the price of how much I owe him. We agreed that it'd be 1500ish, or just a new truck if I can find one etc. So this is where my actual question begins. He keeps, atleast in my opinion, trying to bluff me by threatening to go to court and have me pay even more than what we're agreeing. I'm debating just calling his bluff, and saying fuck you lets go to court. Since I literally have nothing to offer and the court will probably see that, also since the car's value is so low it'll probably cost him more money than anything. oh, and there was no accident report. \nI want to help this guy, since I genuinely feel bad, but I also just want this mess behind me so I can get on with my life.", "summary": "Should I let this (probably) uninsured driver take me to court and settle it or would that make this whole thing even more of a nightmare for me?"} {"id": "t3_4aeqku", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by having a bonfire on cement", "post": "My boyfriend and my dog and I were having a bonfire in the backyard. There's a nice cemented area with a firepit in the middle of it and benches around it. Now, this fire pit has gotten a ton of use, and it's gotten to the point where the bottom of it has melted through. We decided for this bonfire, we'd just move the fire pit out of the way and have the fire on the cement with metal from the fire pit surrounding the perimeter. \n\nWell we get about two hours into our bonfire, and my boyfriend is standing about a foot away from the fire with his back turned towards it, and I got up to refill our dog's water bowl. As I'm walking away I hear a full explosion. I turn and I see the entire cemented area and benches surrounded by fire and embers. I then see my boyfriend run out of the fire with embers all over the back of his shirt, and I see my dog running away from where he was sitting under the benches. My boyfriend stops drops and rolls in the grass and I'm chasing after my dog trying to make sure he's okay and to keep him away from the area because the entire cemented area and benches has flaming logs all over it. \n\nFor a few moments I was convinced we would be spending the night in the hospital, but we got really really lucky and everyone was fine. We were extremely lucky that my dog was under one of the benches and protected from falling flaming debris, and also that my boyfriend had his back to the fire and escaped with only a ruined shirt and pants. \n\nSo what happened? After a some panicking and some puppy wrangling, we were able to assess the situation. In case you weren't aware, cement expands when overheated. Basically the cement over expanded, shattered, shot up, and caused the entire bonfire to shoot up as well. We feel pretty stupid about what we let happen.", "summary": "The moral of the story is that cement explodes when overheated. Don't have a bonfire on it. Also make sure your fire extinguishers work."} {"id": "t3_14is0h", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Girls of reddit, is it bad to give my gf a non-diamond ring for christmas, if we've already talked about getting engaged?", "post": "Ok so, I really wanted to get something special for my gf for xmas this year and last night I bought her blue-topaz ring. But, I've been thinking all day that she might get really excited before opening it, thinking its an engagement ring, and then be super disappointed. We've talked about getting engaged and we both agree that its defiantly going to happen, just not right now, since we're both still in school - she's working on her phd and I just started a 2 year college program in Sept. The plan, in my head, is to propose the day before I graduate, but I really like the ring I bought her and it would look awesome on her, I just dont want her to get the feel-bads after opening it. Top it off with her best friend got engaged last week (lucky me).\n\nwhat do you think I should do? I really love this girl and I can't wait until we get married and have kids, its just not the right time to actually get engaged, mainly because this ring was like 1/4 of the price of an engagement ring and that's all I can afford right now. The other option is to return the ring and get her a necklace, but she doesn't really wear those often. Help.", "summary": "got my girl a ring for xmas, worried she'll think its an engagement ring before opening it and get crushed."} {"id": "t3_1r7fvs", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Smoking weed and triggering a pot dependent person", "post": "So I live in a home of people with mental illness run by a program in our county that provides services to people living with a mental illness.\n\nI got talking to one of my roommates (Eric). He was a ex major pothead and a heavy drinker, he goes to dual diagnose (Having a mental illness and a substance abuse problem) 3 times a week. Whenever the subject of drugs or weed comes up he always says, \"man I cant be around that shit, I go crazy and it triggers me\". My other roommate offered me a bowl in is car driving to the smoke shop, we both got high and I bought some., we smoked a cigarette to try to get rid of the smell, we walk into the house and he can smell it. so he leaves and seems upset. I feel quite bad about it setting him off. Then I had the audacity to go smoke a J a couple hours latter, I got high and walked around the town waiting for the smell to leave, I brought a can of deodorant with me to help, I was walking around for a good 45 min, I come back, go into my room and went back out 10 min later to find the hallway were is room was at smelled bud hardcore, he comes out and takes two big sniffs and closed his door.\n\nI am concerned about my housing situation too, one of the rules is to not come under the influence and he might tell the housing manager, even though he did not know which one of us was high we might just get a slap on the wrist if anything.", "summary": "I got high with my one of my roommates we came back to the house smelling of weed and my other roommate has substance abuse problems and smelt weed when we walked by. and I feel really shitting."} {"id": "t3_2ti8xe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (20 M) am upset over dreams I've been having. In them, I am cheating on my (20 F) on my girlfriend.", "post": "This has happened not once, but twice. Two nights in a row now, last night and the night before (posting at 6:50 AM but I haven't actually slept yet). Anyway, last night I dreamt I had sex with a former coworker of mine. I haven't seen her in a year and we never dated or anything, I just had a crush on her in the past. I didn't think much of it. Now, in my first dream I was having a threesome with a good friend of my cousin who I've met a few times....and my (biological) cousin. I don't know how much of a factor this is, but back in my horny preteen days I touched her boobs when she was asleep (reason for the throwaway). This was probably 6 or 7 years ago, and it was stupid. Yet at the same time, I still to this day fantasize about her occasionally and would probably have sex with her if she ever initiated with me (and if I were single of course). But I wouldn't be posting here if I had no regret over these dreams, or any intent on acting out anything that happened. Even though I know there's not a way to control them, I feel guilty as all hell. I love my girlfriend. I would never cheat on her. I haven't seen her in 2 weeks and I'm dying to see her as soon as I can, as I'm busy with work and being back in school for the spring semester. I want to hold her and tell her how much I love her and I want to make sweet sweet love to her. Is this lack of sex a contributing factor to these dreams? To many these are empty words but I assure you these dreams are just dreams...right? Is this sexual desire I have for these girls including my cousin just a desire that I need not worry about, is it because I haven't seen my girlfriend in about 2 weeks due to conflicting schedules and bad weather and her being sick? I apologize for a wall of text.", "summary": "Haven't seen my girlfriend in 2 weeks and I've had 2 nights in a row filled with dreams where I'm cheating on her with different girls. I love her and only want her. What should I do/not do?"} {"id": "t3_1pw5si", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [M23] tell my friend [23F] (again) about how I feel for her?", "post": "We're attending the same school and have recently become really good friends - she invites me over for dinner, we go bowling together and so forth. \n\nAt first I was somewhat surprised of the enthusiasm she showed when I first asked her about doing things, then I later learned that her relationship with her boyfriend of 1,5yrs had for the last few months kind of 'evened out', if you will.\n\nI was and am still attracted to her and thinks she's a fantastic person. I've already let her know about the situation and she's told me then that she was really unsure of what to do. \nOn one hand she's really fond of her BF and doesn't want to end what they have because it's safe and that she doesn't have a 'valid' reason for breaking up. \nOn the other hand she's told me that if she'd been single the choice would've been easy.\n\nNow, they've been abroad together for a few days and they just got back. I don't know if the trip strengthened their bond, but what I do know is that I'm still quite fond of her and in my head I'm sort of imagining that she /really/ wants to be with me instead.\n\nSo, I don't want our friendship to end, but as it is now I think it's difficult being together when what I really want is to perhaps have more than a friendship.\n\nWhat should I tell her and what should I do? I'm afraid to sacrifice our good friendship if I tell her how it is, at the same time I'm having a hard time always being doubtful wether or not she wants to be more than friends. Even though she hasn't directly said so, I feel as if all the attention she's giving me is serving as a clear indicator.", "summary": "I like her, she has a boyfriend, she gives me a lot of attention but doesn't know what she wants (I think). What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_4k11gq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [28/M] broke up with my gf [26/F] a year ago, but I wish we could be friends so bad", "post": "There were deep problems in our relationship that made it clear that I had to end our relationship of a year and a half. But she wasn't only my girlfriend. She was my best friend. I loved her personality. She's so funny and has the best taste. She's cool and intelligent without being pretentious. And we would make each other laugh all the time. We had incredible inside jokes, and could act like idiots around each other. I miss all of those things.\n\nWhen we broke up, she said that I could no longer be in her life in any way. She was still deeply in love, and said that the only way for her to heal was to cut me off completely. She blocked me on all social media, and we haven't spoken one word since.\n\nI have thought about reaching out to her, but each time that idea pops up, I realize it would be probably be cruel to contact her. Like, she has to go through her own healing process, and it would be messed up to potentially interrupt that process for purely selfish reasons (because I wish I could have her in my life as a friend).\n\nHowever, my friends are still friends with her on facebook/instagram, and they have told me that she seems to have moved on and be doing great. I actually saw a post that she made on twitter once that said that she had officially \"moved on.\" This is really beautiful news, and I am so happy for her. Granted, that is just social media and you can't assume that that is an exact representation of how she feels.\n\nHowever, do you think that it would be wrong to reach out to her? Like all I want is for her to know that if she wants me in her life as a friend, that I would like to be her friend.\n\nWould really appreciate anyone's advice/insights. Thank you.", "summary": "Broke up with my gf, she cut me off completely, and I miss her friendship so much. Can I contact her?"} {"id": "t3_1ntfte", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[23/f] dating [28/m] for almost 6 years. Move in together or get married?", "post": "Been living with my boyfriend in his parent's basement for a few years since I'm in grad school & he doesn't make enough for us to move out yet. I'm graduating in May and once I get a job, it's basically either get our own place together or get married, we won't have enough to do both right away (we both want a traditional wedding, not a courthouse/vegas type). We've been dating for 6 years and it's beginning to really get to me that we aren't married yet, but living with his parents is getting completely annoying. Anyone been in this situation before? Is one choice smarter/more beneficial than the other?", "summary": "dating boyfriend for 6 years, need advice on whether to get married or move out of parents basement in the next year. Can only afford 1 option"} {"id": "t3_2ehuu0", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Charles Schwab vs Vangaurd Target Retirement", "post": "Long story short - I recently started investing into a Roth IRA account. To be specific a Target Retirement Fund that will mature over time as I grow closer to retirement age. Due to a recommendation from a coworker, I opened up the account through Charles Schwab and have already transferred an invested $3,000 into the Target Fund. \n\nHowever, I've since learned that Vanguard has an identical account as the one I chose through Schwab, and the fee's are less and the YTD returns are more. Here are the number differences:\n\n*Charles Schwab 2055 (SWORX) Net Expense Ration 0.73% / YTD Earnings 2.97%\n \n\n*Vanguard 2055 (VFFVX) Fees & Expenses 0.18% / YTD Earnings 6.95% \n\nMy question is - how easy is it to switch from one fund to the other, and is it even worth the hassle?", "summary": "Got a Schwab Target fund instead of Vanguard for IRA, but the Vanguard has better year to date returns and less fees associated with the fund. How do I switch, and is it even worth it?"} {"id": "t3_23v3oz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [m 24] just received a message from an ex [F 21] and would like some advice on how to proceed", "post": "Hi r/relationships, I'm back and still love all of you. \n\nSo, we broke up a while ago (about a month) and haven't talked since. The reason we broke up was basically she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship and I saw that she was being immature. We were only getting serious for less than a month, so no big deal, I went n/c because that's how I do breakups.\n\nI really don't care about the circumstances surrounding our breakup at all. It was a pretty good break, **I made the decision to split.** I really liked her, we got an no really well and had a lot of great chemistry, but I thought it was better for me: **I was looking for a commitment, she wasn't.** I want to focus on advice about the interaction moving forward. \n\nYesterday she Facebook messaged me saying \"I hope you're doing well.\" I haven't technically looked at it yet, so to her it's still unread. \n\n**My question is: what should I say back?** \n\nI would like her to be a part of my life again. I'm not sure I want to date her, because I doubt she's changed dramatically in a month, but who knows? I'd like the chance to find out. \n\nSo, what do I say? How do I let her know that it's OK to talk to me? That I want to let her back into my life? \n\nAlso, as a bonus question, *why do you think she messaged me?* lonely? Misses me? Basic courtesy?", "summary": "Was seeing girl, broke up with girl because we were looking for different things from the relationship, she messaged me and now I want help with what to say back. "} {"id": "t3_4mkux6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By Getting Herpes and Destroying My Phone", "post": "Basically after helping my father to build an amazing, quality hand-built dock on our vacation home's canal-seawall; I nefariously sneaked away to smoke a pipe with an old hippie who did work there regularly. This was against my better judgement, and I would later find I would eat my words \"that was just what I needed!\" as I passed the pipe that was chalked black with what could only be years of dank marijuana. And dank it was... Fast forward to Today and I'm racking my mind as to what finally gave me Herpes Simplex, and then it comes to me; it's the same reason my phone was in my pocket when I fell into said canal, and has to buy a new phone for $287: TO SMOKE WEED!\n\nas a growing adult; you now when it's a sign you should stop doing something for a while and grow a little!", "summary": "Adult male, father doesn't like weed, smoked weed with hippie worker at vacation home, fell in canal with phone when getting number from hippie, realized his dirty pipe gave me herpes."} {"id": "t3_3xvk4w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24f] dead fiance's mom [51f] is being distant from my daughter [1f] because she reminds her of her son", "post": "My fianc\u00e9, David, was killed in a car accident last year. We had been together for 2.5 years and lived together, so his parents Jane and Tom knew me well and liked me. We stayed in touch regularly and supported each other in dealing with David's death, which really helped me get through the grief process.\n\nTwo months after David died, I found out I was about four months pregnant. I didn't show many signs of pregnancy and assumed my missed periods were due to the stress from the grief. I was thrilled, as were Jane and Tom, as David and I had always talked about having kids one day and I had been really upset that we'd never get that chance.\n\nJane and Tom were really supportive throughout the pregnancy and I had my daughter Hannah in September. Everything worked well for a while, with them looking after her a couple of times a week and coming to visit me at home. But recently (over the past couple of months) Jane has been kind of blowing us off and not visiting me much and finding excuses not to be around when I take Hannah to their house. When I finally asked Tom about it last week, he admitted that as Hannah grows up and looks more and more like her dad (she inherited all of his coloring etc), Jane is struggling with missing David.\n\nJane still loves Hannah and wants to be around her and feels really bad that it's affecting her like this because obviously it's not her fault. But being reminded of David all the time is getting to be too much for her.\n\nHow can me and Tom help her? Thanks in advance for any advice.", "summary": "my daughter looks a lot like my fianc\u00e9 who died last year. This is making his mom find it painful to be around her."} {"id": "t3_snc8h", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A cute girl who helped me at Verizon put her number in my phone. Is this standard practice or something more?", "post": "I joined the Coast Guard recently, so I decided to get off of my parents family plan and start my own individual plan with Verizon. I went to the Verizon store with my mom and was helped by a rather attractive young lady. My mom upgraded to an iPhone, while i took her old phone onto my own plan. This was a rather lengthy process, during which I talked to the young lady about a variety of topics, she recently graduated from Penn State and has been living in the area (SF bay area) since November, we talked about the coast guard and which types of cell phones she prefers. She smiled at me a few times and laughed, she kept brushing her hair, and she called me \"my friend\" a few times. Towards the end of the exchange once my new phone(my mom's old phone) had been activated, she called my phone with her personal phone. I was trying to work up the courage to ask her for her number and I was planning on doing it before I walked out of the store, but my mom and one of her coworkers were standing right there when it was time to go. I'm not sure if this standard practice to call newly activated phones to make sure they work or if she was trying to give me her number? When I was leaving she gave my mom her card she shook both of our hands, I smiled at her and said it was nice to meet her. I'm 23 years old, the only girlfriend I've ever had (who I had been with over 6 years) left me while I was in boot camp, I need this, but I'm not sure If it would be weird to call her. Anybody who works at a cell phone store know if this is standard practice or not? Any advice or encouragement is highly appreciated.", "summary": "Girl who helped me at Verizon called my phone with her phone after my phone was just activated. Do they always do this or was she giving me her number?"} {"id": "t3_1kaq9c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(17m) first gf(18) of 3 months just broke up with me, I'm not sure why.", "post": "So my first gf and I have been dating for a little over 3 months, today she broke up with me over text and I'm not sure why. \n\nSo she has been gone in vacation for a little over 3 weeks and she has been, according to her, super busy. Since she was busy she hasn't called me the whole time so the only communication we've had has been the occasional text. \n\nThis morning she texted me saying \"she wanted to break up, it's not my fault, and I'm an amazing guy\". She also said that she thinks that we would make better friends. When I further inquired why she wanted to break up she said that in the whole relationship she hasn't felt a spark. This is where I'm calling bullshit, before she left for vacation we were having a great time. We would have 2-3 dates a week, we were going to baseball games (she loves babseball), bowling with our friends, and going to the occasional movie. Even when we weren't on dates we were hanging out, having dinner at each other's houses and all together having a good time. I never caught a single hint that she wasn't enjoying herself, and on top of all that, she would write me multiple love notes which she would \"pour her heart into\" and she would tell me every night that she loved me. \n\nShe told me that she didn't feel a spark the whole time and that she didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. But I was doing everything I could to make her happy, and I almost never saw her upset throughout the whole relationship. I was never rude or disrespectful or abusive in any way. \n\nSo reddit, did I do something wrong? Does this sound like she was pretending the whole relationship? Because it doesn't sound like that to me. \n\nI going to see her In a couple of days and I intend on further inquiring what is going on. \n\nNote: I don't know how big of a difference this makes but I do know she is on her period right now.", "summary": "my first girlfriend is dumping me after what I thought was the perfect start to and amazing relationship and I'm not sure why"} {"id": "t3_3pp2h2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (22f) get over certain anxieties from a previously abusive relationship?", "post": "Background: From when I was 19 to 21 I lived with this guy thought I was going to marry him turns out he was batshit crazy and it only took me a year to realize he was severely psychologically abusing me. He was manipulative, he would try to frame me having some sort of affair by doing things like moving stuff around our apartment, asking me questions sometimes the same ones to see if my answers would change, just a general zero trust black hole soul crushing relationship. \n\nI've been out of this situation and no contact for over a year now. I am stuck now though with certain things that trigger anxiety to me and no matter how much I reassure myself I'm wrong, in the heat of the moment I can't help but feel the paranoid thoughts that go along with the trigger are completely true even though I know they aren't. Triggers I've realized so far, if I can't find something or if something got moved I sincerely feel like someone moved it or hid it from me just to fuck with me. I never accuse anyone because I know it's not true. Another one that I see being more of a problem, if I tell someone something, for example that I'm not feeling well, I get really anxious that that person doesn't believe me and they continue to ask questions to determine whether I'm being truthful or not. I have another trigger that is also an obvious backlash of my abusive relationship, I just don't know how to be normal again and am so scared these things are going to affect future relationships.", "summary": "abusive relationship left me with anxiety triggers that I don't want. Will they ever fade or is this how my brain is going to be rewired forever?"} {"id": "t3_vkbyq", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[22/f] Am I being selfish?", "post": "First, I'll give you a little bit of background on myself and this relationship: I am 22, my boyfriend is 23, and we have been dating for just over a year now. Things have gotten pretty serious and this is definitely something that we can both see being long-term. I have just graduated college and am not looking to stay where I am now for much longer. Wherever I go, of course I would want him to come with me.\n\nHowever, the problem is that he is currently living at home with his mother. But it's not a \"hasn't-flown-the-nest\" type situation, he is living there because she is legally blind and is very dependent on him financially and for tasks around the house. I love his mom, and this didn't bother me at all during the first months of our relationship. However, it's now becoming a problem because I'm at a place in my life where I will need to leave, while he is stuck here. Neither of them have made serious plans or talked that much about the living situation...sometimes I feel like he never had/will have a chance to live his life for himself because of this. I've talked to him about this, and it also upsets him. Sometimes I feel like his mom doesn't understand, and just expected him to live with her forever. But every time he tries to bring it up with her, she gets really offended. Even outside of us having a future together, this breaks my heart. \n\nWhat am I supposed to do here? Am I being selfish by being so upset by this situation? It's not like she can help it! This just bums me out so badly, and it's made me less enthusiastic about the relationship and more impatient with his mom. It's like I know that there's a good chance that this will bring an end to our relationship (I can't do long-distance, and even if we did, what if we got married? That would just make the situation weirder), so I feel like this is all for nothing.", "summary": "Boyfriend is living with his disabled mother, putting a strain on our relationship. What happens if I move across the country and he has to stay with her?"} {"id": "t3_36x8lg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I (27F) a dick to kick out my roommate? (28F)", "post": "hello everyone!\n\nso i have lived at my 3 bedroom place for 4 years, cycling through different roomies every year. Im a little tired of living with 2 other people and am considering splitting this place with just one of my current roommates whom i get along with really well. I have looked into moving and i cant find anything with as good a deal as my current place. I also plan on getting a dog soon and it's very hard to find a place that allows that, mine currently does.\n\nanyway, my other roommate isn't a bad person but i just really don't want to live with her again. she has a little OCD in her, needing things to be a certain way and often moving my things around without telling me. she's also lost/broken some of my stuff without telling me either. I've talked to her about it and its gotten better but i still just find her presence very annoying and i dont want to live with her another year. Its not just the behaviors, its her as a person.\n\nmy question is, do i have the right to \"kick her out?\" Part of me feels like I do, since I have been here 4 years, all the furniture/dishes/cookware/everything is mine, and I am currently the leaseholder. On the other hand, if shes been paying rent this whole year, i guess she has the right to stay if she wants regardless of what i want.\n\nThoughts? Whats the best way to approach this with her?", "summary": "thinking of telling one of my roommates that i plan on splitting my 3 bedroom place with just one other person. do i have that right since i am the leaseholder and have lived here 4 years?"} {"id": "t3_dfs1r", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So reddit, what are your recurring dreams?", "post": "One I had last night that I've had a few times involves me being a star in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The only problem is, even though I keep being told to watch it I've never actually seen a full episode. Of course, since I've never seen a full episode I have NO IDEA who I play in the show. \n\nLast night's dream took place at my house and I basically ran around the place trying to find out who I played, I tried to look up my IMDB profile but something kept stopping me. Kept asking people for a look at the script, they said I wouldn't need it. \n\nBasically I ran around, frantically searching for SOMEONE who would tell me what part I played in the show. Of course, I never found out. It'd be nice to know..", "summary": "I'm a cast member on It's Alway Sunny, but having never watched the show don't know who I play, frantic search for info on my character."} {"id": "t3_3w6sst", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19F] with my LDR Boyfriend [18M] 2yrs, unable to rebuild trust after he lied to me.", "post": "This is really a personal problem, and I don't know where else to seek advice/vent/etc too. Also using a throwaway because he knows my Reddit account. \n\nSome pretext: I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. We met online, and we were each others firsts. We only get to see each other about 3 times a year, because of that we have Skype sex pretty frequently. Pretty soon after we began having Skype sex, he was interested in receiving nudes and so was I. I was really hesitant to send them, so I asked him if it would be easier to live without porn or me, and he chose the latter. So I agreed to send nudes on the terms that he would stop looking at internet porn, because to me being in a long distance relationship I'm **EXTREMELY** uncomfortable being \"porn\" (I hope that makes sense!)\n\nAnyways, we were talking and I had asked when the last time he used porn was, because we had been talking about how long we've been together, it was just a random question. And to my dismay he respond \"A week... week and a half ago?\" and my blood just ran cold. And I asked if he remembered how I felt about porn, and he responded by saying I was at work. He also mentioned how he didn't tell me about it because he knew it would upset me, and that I should have sent him more pictures. \n\nSo like a normal 19 year old girls, I've spent the past 3 days being heartbroken and trying to convince myself that porn isn't a reason to break up a 2 year relationship, but I still feel like I've been cheating on. I told him that I felt betrayed and he just said it wouldn't happen again, unfortunately I don't believe it at all.\n\nWhat do I do? I love him, but he lied to me, and broke my trust. Is there a way to rebuild trust?\n\nSorry for the wall of text, I just don't know what else to do.", "summary": "Boyfriend promises not to look at porn as long as I am sending him nudes, lied about watching porn, and I don't know how to rebuild trust."} {"id": "t3_2996z4", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "I have no idea what I'm doing", "post": "For the first time in my adult life I'm using exercise regularly to lose weight. I'm going to 3-4 bootcamp style workout classes a week and walking an average of 10 miles a week. I'm consuming <1000 calories on most days and sticking to proteins + fruits and veggies, low carb. \n\nAnd the fucking scale hates it. In the past I've been a pro at dropping weight, 4-5 lbs in the first week then a steady 2 lbs a week after that. I'm on week 2 and the scale has gone down 3 lbs then up 4. I know, I know, this is normal and it's only been two weeks. But... I feel completely lost when it comes to losing weight with the amount of activity I'm incorporating, and want to know how to do it right. \n\nSome background: I'm female, 33, 5'8\", and current 180 (size 10-12). I put on 20 lbs over the past year and need it gone. I can't fit into any of my summer vacation clothes, and we have our vacation planned in 6 weeks (FUCK). I absolutely am not going out and buying a bathing suit that looks like one my mother would wear. \n\nPart of me wonders if I should just eliminate the workouts and strictly diet, since that's worked at slimming me down quickly before. But... I don't want to be stupid about this. If my routine will get me back down to a size 6, but the scale just won't tell me what I want to see, fine, screw you scale, I don't care. On the other hand, if I'm just building up muscle and inexplicably not burning enough fat to drop dress sizes .... then what, I just have some extra strength with a layer of blubber on top? Should I stop the bootcamps and just do straight cardio?", "summary": "I need to drop 15-20lbs in 6 weeks and dieting usually works REALLY well. Now I'm working out too and my weight isn't budging."} {"id": "t3_xsrsf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How can you be sure your boyfriend wants to be with you?", "post": "I have been dating this guy for about 5 months (I've known him for 5 years). We've been close since we were teenagers but we're just now dating in our 20s. We have this amazing connection, one that I cannot compare to anything. I'm actually moving to the city he is moving to so we can be together and go to college. Recently I discovered that he constantly checks out other women online on facebook and other sites and he told his friend that I would \"cramp his style\" if I lived in the same city as him. I noticed a website he left up on his computer about finding singles in the town he is moving to. WTF? \n\nHe just seems distracted these days and isn't as romantic as he used to be. I know he is under a lot of stress with college and whatnot.. Sometimes he can be really sweet and fun to be around. It's so hard to read him. \n\nAnyways.. What should I do? I really love this guy, he treats me so well, and I would hate to lose him because of his immaturity. I'm really confused right now :/ I'm afraid of being cheated on because my last boyfriend did that to me.. How can I bring up this issue without making him mad? I'm all about having good communication in a relationship. Any tips for me would be lovely!", "summary": "Certain behavior that my boyfriend exhibits makes me think that he isn't into me anymore. How can you be sure that is the case and when to break it off?"} {"id": "t3_4l8j0z", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Appeal for Financial Aid", "post": "I was an incoming freshman for Fall 2015 with like 35-40 credits transferred in that I took in High School.\n\nDue to my own faults, I did not make SAP that fall semester and finished with a .4 GPA. The following semester (Spring 2016) I did better (but still needs improvement) finishing with all passes and like a 2.2 GPA but due to me failing the majority of my classes that Fall I did not meet the SAP requirement for passing 67% of my classes.\n\nWould someone be able to look at my appeal and critique it for me? \n\nHere is a general overview:\n\n#1: Review your entire academic history for non-passing grades such as E, X, I and W. Write a statement explaining why you did not make SAP\n\nA: (Summarized not full text) I wrote about how my college experience from High School and that going to community college 2-3 days a week was much different than going to a University 5 days a week. How that from poor choices such as not attending class and playing video games when I should have been studying I did not make SAP and failed a majority of my classes.\n\n#2: Write a statement about what has changed, including resources you have or will use to become successful.\n\nA: I wrote about how in the Spring semester I did much better meeting all SAP requirements for the semester, and that I can still do better. I also wrote about how I utilized the Tutoring centers as well as studying with other students that are also in the class. I wanted to point out that I have proved I am fully capable and that the first semester was a mistake and that I have learned my lesson. I wrote about how I plan to continue utilizing the tutoring center more often as the goal this Fall is a 2.5 or higher. \n\nIf I don't get Financial Aid I will be unable to attend and I don't have a job yet that allows me to start making payments on my loans yet, so if my appeal doesn't get accepted I have no idea what to do. I didn't put that in there due to the fact I did not want to seem desperate but should I? Would it have a chance at pulling at the emotions of the person handling the appeal?", "summary": "IF you would be willing to look at my appeal please let me know. Or if you have general advice pleas let me know."} {"id": "t3_2lk5g3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22 M] live-in girlfriend [22 F] is backing out of our \"deal\" for Thanksgiving", "post": "Katie and I have been dating for almost 2 years. We moved in together last January. Things have been kind of up and down but we always seem to work things out.\n\nLast year, I spent the whole Thanksgiving with her family and we decided that this year she would spend the whole Thanksgiving with my family. I reminded her of that deal about a month ago and it took her a moment to remember. After remembering, she seemed very hesitant to continue with what we had agreed upon. I explained it was only fair that we did it this way. Next year, we can split up the day... My family in the early afternoon and her family in the evening. She reluctantly agreed to it again.\n\nThen this past weekend, I talked to her about it again. I said to her, \"I don't want you to be there if you, truly in your heart, don't want to be there. It would be unfair to both of us. So you decide what you want to do. I will be so happy if you chose to be with me. If you don't, honestly, I will be pretty upset. You will be hurting me. With that said, choose what you want to do in your heart. I really want you to be happy on that day.\"\n\nSo now my question... I feel like I have been getting let down by this girl constantly. She's always choosing her family above me. I know we aren't married but we have a serious relationship, potentially working towards marriage. Now is the time when I want to be put first, ahead of anyone else. I did it last year for her, now it's her turn. \n\nIs it wrong of me to consider breaking up with her over this? If she doesn't spend Thanksgiving with my family, should I break up with her? What if she spends half with me then half with her family? She's getting exactly what she wants. But she's not sacrificing anything for me.\n\nWhat would you do?", "summary": "GF was suppose to spend Thanksgiving with my family. Now she might not. I feel like I'm never #1. Should I break up with her?"} {"id": "t3_su2kf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I blow off what he said or take it as a warning?", "post": "Me (28), Boyfriend (24). Dating for two years (long distance for over a year) This morning he decided to sleep in and go to work late which he has never done before. He calls me every morning at a particular time and I was very concerned when I didn't hear from him. I tried calling and sending him messages. Eventually, he responds and tells me I'm really overreacting.\n\nI apologize and tell him I was concerned and that my response was probably due to feeling really insecure lately (been having a tough time recently) He blows up and starts saying that we're fooling ourselves believing we're in love with each other. That no healthy relationship has these hiccups. That things have always been wrong.\n\nI replied that I disagree, that we love each other, and we had a bad morning due to my behavior. I apologized. He forgave me. We have spoken since this morning and I suppose he's over it.\n\nThe problem is that his statement about us fooling ourselves about being in love has not left me. If I was feeling insecure before, it has ramped up to astronomical numbers. Now I'm convinced that's how he really feels, that we're fooling ourselves into believing we're in love. I don't feel that way at all, it has never crossed my mind. \n\nI want to approach him and ask him about the statement but I need to deliver it in a non-accusatory way. Maybe it was something said in the heat of the moment but it was really upsetting and I can't let it go. Can anyone give me advice on how I can ask him about this without pissing him off?", "summary": "While having an argument, boyfriend says we are tricking ourselves into believing we're really in love with each other. Can't let it go. How do I approach him? Should I?"} {"id": "t3_1fgexd", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Do I [28/F] make the move and live with my [29/m] boyfriend?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been friends for a couple of years, supported each other through quite a bit, and have been dating for a few months. We end up seeing each other once a week because we live an hour away and my schedule has been crap for so long. Between grand school and working 2nd shift every weekend, one day week is what we usually average out to.\n\nHe has his own house, a good job, and would love for me to live with him. My job doesn't pay all that much, but it does allow me some financial independence. I've been living with my parents for the past couple of years because my internship schedule+school schedule has made it very difficult to hold down full time work (plus, I saved like 20k by doing it).\n\nAll signs point to moving in with him, but I'm worried that it might take me awhile to find work. My biggest concern would be if in 4-5 months from now, I don't have a job and my student loans start coming in. I have some money saved away, so I could probably pay for 3-4 months of payments. I've been applying to a bunch of jobs in the area, but no nibbles yet. There is also the pride factor because I would feel guilty having him fully support me, but I also realize I would do the same for him and it would be great for our relationship.", "summary": "not sure if i should move into my boyfriend's place until i find a job or if i should just go for it so we can spend more time together."} {"id": "t3_45hebu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do (/should) I [27 F] ask my fuck buddy if hes [28 M] married without sounding like a creepo?", "post": "I have a fuck buddy of 3 months and things have been sketchy for awhile but im just now putting two and two together. We NEVER go to his house to fuck, its always mine. He leaves right after (I have no problem with it but its kinda eh), he says that he lives with his parents but has a well paying job (hes not working at target or anything) and had this job since he graduated college at 23 (he also went to a USC which is a really nice school). There aren't any full body photos of him so I cant see his ring (if he has one). Should I just flat out ask him if he's married or wait for him to tell me?", "summary": "I think FWB is married, I don't want things to get ugly. How should I ask him if hes married? (if I even should)"} {"id": "t3_14362v", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Youtube Revenge", "post": "This was during February/March of 2012.\n\nI had previously won an online contest of $100 for a game called Starcraft 2 back in August to my PayPal. Having only spent half of my winnings, I decided to purchase Modern Warfare 3 on Steam. However, the game cost $60, instead of the usual $50 of many other games, so I was $10 short. \n\nI really wanted to play MW3, though. So, I googled on how to get it for cheaper, and found an old forum I used to visit. Apparently, there was a person selling the game for $25. I messaged him, and he messaged back, and a deal was negotiated. We exchanged messages for a while, as he was taking a while getting a cd-key for me. I, stupidly \"gifted\" the money instead of purchasing it as he was getting the key for me, since I was pretty new to PayPal. Then randomly, he logged off. The whole process was around two hours I believe.\n\nHaving not seen him on for a few days, I concluded that I got scammed. Whatever, I thought. It was only $25. I was surprised that a person went through such great lengths to con a mere $25. Anyways, after that, I brainstormed ways of trying to get revenge. He stupidly put his \"IGN\" as his Skype name (Program I used to message him), and it wasn't a common one either so it was incredibly simple to find all his other accounts (youtube, steam, etc). \n\nWhen I went to his Youtube channel, I came up with a master plan, and decided to use a \"dislike bot\" to dislike his videos. He seemed to be an avid Youtuber, since he uploaded around one video a week.\n\nI managed to get 90+ dislikes on each of his videos.... He stopped posting videos as frequently after that... even though he was still active on his channel. (Latest Activity thing on Youtube)", "summary": "Scammed $25 trying to buy a game, found scammer's YouTube and dislike botted all of his videos."} {"id": "t3_1is16p", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(21/f) My boyfriend [22/m] doesn't seem to understand that his method of giving advice/responding to someone else's error can be upsetting and demeaning.", "post": "Whenever anyone does anything wrong (myself, his close friends, etc.), it usually goes something like this: 1. loud groan, or exasperated huffing; 2. clenching knuckles, or throwing whatever object he has to the ground; 3. total and blatant frustration in asking something like, \"Why did you do that?\" or \"Why didn't you...?\"; 4. Never to me, but often to others, sneering insults about their decision. (Sometimes he won't even say a word. He'll just act really \"fed up.\" )\nHe doesn't seem to understand that, whenever he acts this way, the loudest statement is his reaction, not the advice he has to give. I know he just wants to help people, and I appreciate that...yet he's utterly convinced that his reaction is effective and acceptable. He's expressed that the rest of us (who prefer not to be treated like a dog that just pissed on the carpet) don't actually respond to his advice whenever he does it in a \"nice\" way. \nI want to help him understand that it upsets me when he responds that way. That he can simply ask, \"Why did you do this?\" or \"Why didn't you do this?\" without all the dramatic body language and noises. His friends seem to respond in one of two ways: they either get over it, or they stop doing that particular activity with him. I want to reiterate, though, that this habit of his is completely uncharacteristic of his personality: he's sweet, attentive, and takes huge consideration of my feelings. He's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, without question. We must have fought over this a half dozen times...please be honest, am I just being overly sensitive? Do I need to just get over it, or stand firm that what he's doing is simply not nice?", "summary": "Whenever someone does something wrong, and my boyfriend wants to inform someone of their error, he is aggressive, rude, and gets visibly/obviously exasperated and frustrated."} {"id": "t3_3cj0ci", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my [22 F] gf of 2 year, her weight and eating disorder are making me doubt our future together", "post": "I met this girl 2 years ago and she was about 200lbs when we met. I didn't mind it because I was naive and thought it's easy to lose weight based on what she told me. She has a history of depression and eating disorder and been obese all her life (I didn't know these things until 6 months into our relationship). She has been trying different diets and exercise routines but nothing seems to work. Despite all her efforts, she just can't stay away from unhealthy food. I recently told her that her eating disorder is getting in the way of our relationship and she should just stay away from unhealthy food and I'm finding her less attractive but she accuses me of being controlling. I also found out yesterday that she has a fetish for guys of the same background as me: speak language X and come from countries in region Y.\n\nOther than those things, she's a wonderful person but as my attraction for her is waning, it's getting harder to be supportive and to not eye other women. I just want her to be healthy and to get in shape.", "summary": "My gf keeps gaining weight and promises to lose it but she can't control her eating disorder. I don't find her attractive anymore but want to change that."} {"id": "t3_1s399v", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Need help, I'm having a \"mid-midlife crisis\".", "post": "I'm currently in my third year at a respected American university where I'm majoring in Business Economics and Finance. Next semester I will be studying abroad in Spain, taking Spanish language and culture classes as well as business classes. \n\nI can't stand my major specific classes. I have no interest in either and have no plans to get a job in either field after school. Only now am I realizing that I'm wasting an opportunity to study something that interests me. I picked them because they are safe and I wanted to avoid getting out of college and living with my parents (something my two older sisters are doing). I've considered dropping out multiple times but my parents have convinced me to stay because I'm on scholarship and if I leave now I'll lose my financial aid and never be able to return.\n\nIf I go abroad it will solidify my major choice. If I stay here I'd have three semesters to complete a new major curriculum, which is daunting. I want the experience of going abroad and I'd be embarrassed to tell people I'm not going after weeks of hyping it up. However, I'm terrified about the long term implications of the trip. I don't want to graduate school with a skill that I never want to use.", "summary": "Should I keep my boring business major and have fun or should I challenge myself with a new major I'm passionate about?"} {"id": "t3_2x5s0t", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by pretending to be Australian", "post": "This fuck up happened last weekend. \n\n I have been doing accents since I was 10(24 now)and become extremely good at Australian. Good enough to trick Brits and even a few Aussie's. I'm hangin out with a few mates pre-gaming and I decide I'm going to be Australian at the club tonight. They agree to go along with it and we come up with a back story of how we all met. \n\nWere at the club and everything is going great nobody suspects a thing. People are cracking jokes and trying to get me to use my best American accent. I play along and they think it's hilarious. I go up to grab another drink and this girl says to me, \"Hey my friend thinks you're cute, and keeps talking about you. Go so hi to her.\" I look over at her friend and she is stunning. At this point I'm thinking she's probably just interested in meeting an Australian guy. So I approach her still in character and she had no idea that I was \"Australian.\" We immediately hit it off and by the end of the night she was looking at nothing but my eyes. \n\nI ended up going home with her and had lots of amazing sex, that night and in the morning. After, she drives me home and we talk. I'm still using my fake accent because I don't know what else to do. Let me tell you, it was a long ass ride. I for sure thought I'd be discovered. She tells me how she's never done anything like this before and she just started trusting men again after a horrible experience. She didn't say what, but she didn't have to. we talked about other things and it hit me, I actually like this girl. And i know she really like me.\n\nShe drops me off at \"my mates place\" and kisses me goodbye. We've been talking ever day since and I don't know how to tell her the truth. I feel bad deceiving her, but I'd I tell her I don't think she'd see me again.", "summary": "pretended to be Australian, hot girl took me home, end up liking hot girl, feel like a dick. Haven't told her the truth."} {"id": "t3_1gd196", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Just \"deleted\" her from my life. I actually feel much better.", "post": "The constant reminder of her via Facebook, instagram and the like was preventing me from finding any peace. I mean how can you forget someone when they are top on the FB chat list all the time?\n\nIt was an 9 month relationship of pure bliss, but for some reason she bailed. Told me I was perfect yada yada. Only guy to make her Orgasm/biggest guy. I was completely blindsided by it, she assured me there was no one else. I believe her about that. Its her last year at Uni and she had a lot on the plate, understandable. But I really only saw her on the weekends. I guess I wont understand.", "summary": "Do you find it easier to just outright remove them digitally from your life? If not, how do you do it?"} {"id": "t3_3we2xu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 M] really like a girl [17 F] in my class and don't know how to get to know her better.", "post": "I really like a girl who has been in multiple classes that we both have seemed to enjoy. I have barely talked to her, most recently to ask about some homework. I want to get her phone number and talk with her more, but I am not sure on how I should do this. I get nervous whenever I think about going over to talk with her and I'm unsure on what exactly to say.\n\nWhenever I speak with other girls I don't feel so nervous, but with her I do. Is it best for me to just walk up to her and admit to finding her attractive and ask for her number? Or is it better for me to just ask her casually? Thanks for any help!", "summary": "I find a girl in my class really attractive but don't know how to best talk with/get her phone number."} {"id": "t3_3n6xpo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My bf [45M] of 1 year invited me [45F] to a concert that I'm not into. Do I fess up, or manage my attitude and go?", "post": "We've been having a fantastic year and we overlap a lot of interests, one of which is seeing live music. We've seen probably 30 shows in the past year and while we aren't perfectly matched musically I have always found something to like in everything and of course loved it all overall. \n\nHowever now he brought up a concert that he wants to see, and I'm just not too into this particular artist. They happen to turn me off musically, for whatever reason. I'd never go near them if it weren't for him. It's a bit inconvenient to get to for his other friends (requires an overnight) (sex in hotel rooms, yay!) If I do go, unless I can somehow manage my attitude about it, I'll be pretending to like it, or else just not be my usual bubbly self.\n\nSo is it better for the long-term health of this relationship to fess up and say yeah, not too into them? Or is it better to cover it up and go because my honey wants to go, and just enjoy that he enjoys them? I mean, it's hardly a hardship to go out to a show, but I don't want to lie, and I'm afraid if I let it show that I don't like them, it will affect his enjoyment.\n\nI am curious what you all would do. I can see both sides. If you want to stay long-term with someone, that means doing things for them to promote their happiness, especially something like this that isn't really that hard to do. However, it feels like lying and I don't like that feeling.", "summary": "Do I go to a show I don't like and pretend to enjoy it for my bf's sake, or fess up beforehand?"} {"id": "t3_2ros49", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [ 21 F] with my BF [ 21 M] of three months, he's going two states away for grad school, want to make this work and what to expect.", "post": "I'll try to make this quick as possible. Sorry if this is in the wrong forum. \n\nFor some context, my boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. We've known each other for about 5 years and have known each other since high school. During that time we both lived an hour's drive from each other and he has moved another 4 hours for college. However, we kept in contact with each other a lot, through texts/social media/video games, etc. We talk almost every night and even if the distance sucks, it's awesome knowing that we had a crush on each other for the past year. He's my first at everything, I'm his second girlfriend but his first in everything as well. He makes the effort to drive to my place, and I plan to reciprocate this semester once I have some cash saved up. \n\nAs of right now, I'm still in college for another few years due to some transferring/impacted classes. He's graduating this spring, and is likely going to Washington state for grad school. He has had his eye on a school there since before we started going out, so I had that thought in the back of my mind for a while. \n\nAnyways, we've discussed about what would happen if he does get accepted to Washington state and what our dating life would be like. We both want to finish school but we know our workload would interfere with that, so our feelings are pretty much mutual if the break up were to happen. However, both of us are very committed to each other and making this work.\n\nAnybody here previously/is in a similar situation? \n\nWhat were your experiences? \n\nWhat were the outcome? \n\nWhat made it work/didn't make it work?\n\nI hate to sound like a pessimist but I want to prepare myself for the worst.", "summary": "Boyfriend might move 2 states away, increased LDR. We agreed to stay committed to each other but if it doesn't work, we decided to mutually break up in the future. What should I expect?"} {"id": "t3_3mntjw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [23 M] 3 years, when do I break up with him and move out", "post": "I have my reasons for breaking up with him and we have tried talking through some of them. However, I have come to realize I just have to end it. Details here (if you want them): \n\nThe hard part is that he is out of town and has been for months, I was originally fine with waiting a month for him to come back. He should have been home already. Now he isn't getting back for another month and I am ready to start moving on. \n\nI am now seriously debating at least moving out before he comes back and maybe ending the relationship too. I originally was going to wait so I would feel like I gave him a fair chance and so I/we could end it in person. \n\nThinking on it now, it will be a thousand times harder to move out once he is back since he probably won't have work and will be around constantly. I have a feeling I might not be able to get the guts to move out once he is back because old habits die hard and what not. I also do not want to feel guilty about this because I know it is the right thing to do for me to be happier and healthier. \n\nBasically any suggestions/comments/encouragement would be awesome.", "summary": "I can't decide if I should move out before he gets back or after, either way I will break up with him."} {"id": "t3_1u3u6n", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Should I be stressing out about the 5k+ debt I will be taking on?", "post": "A little background first. I went to school at a community college for 2 years without having to take out loans because I was eligible for federal grant money. \n\nHowever, as I am going to a 4-year college now (I start Jan 6), the cost of attendance is obviously higher, and so I will have to accept the $5,500 in loans (federal direct, subsidized) to be able to attend. Now I know that people will say this isn't a lot of money, and I know there are people thousands of dollars higher in debt, but this is a lot of money for me. Should I be stressing out too much about this?\n\nI have about two years left until I graduate with my B.A. I'm going to a college that doesn't have a major system, and I don't know how much money I'm going to be making after college right away. I do, however, know what job I want to get into that I would be qualified for after college--teaching English overseas. However, this requires that I save up some money to pay for the initial flight and setting-up a living situation before the job, but I can't do this if I'm paying my debt, right? I really want to continue my education, and I've worked hard to get where I am right now, but I can't help but fear the four-figures of debt that I will be incurring. Any thoughts?", "summary": "2 years in college under my belt. First time taking out a loan, $5,500 fed direct subsidized. Don't plan on making lots of money right after college (not until months after.)"} {"id": "t3_2o97p5", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Emotionally distant from family, has led me to be emotionally distant from everyone.", "post": "It's a long story, but basically there are a couple factors that've contributed to my emotional distance from my family. I used to be very emotionally open with women, and I suppose I overcompensated with them in regards to my feeling of needing love and affection. Then my ex girlfriend hurt me really badly and I've never really opened my heart since.\n\nIt's beginning to be a problem since I really don't feel like I want to get to know anybody or make any friends or get close to anyone.\n\nShould I see a counselor, or are there any practical things I could do? I tried seeing a counselor at my school but she didn't really help me all that much.", "summary": "Emotionally distant. I feel like I don't really like anyone, or want to get to know anyone. What do?"} {"id": "t3_j2sso", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Having to choose between two high schools, need advice.", "post": "I'm a going to be in 10th grade next month but i have to choose between two high schools. I'm really determined to pursue a career in animation/arts and went to a very good public high school with a after school arts program where I have a four hour art class every day. I thought this was helpful and would help out getting into an art university. The second high school is a charter school (Media Arts is the focus) and is project based learning. I thought this would help me because i'm not very strong in my academics but have read reviews the school wasn't very strong with math (which is the class i've struggled with most all my life) and am worried i won't be prepared for college classes. I'm very well adjusted (socially at least) to the high school i went to last year but am not sure what will be better. People i've talked to say either high school i choose will be good, but i am terrified that i will not make a good choice. I feel terrified this decision may alter my future either in a good way or bad way, I'm not sure. I've always struggled with academics and i have depression, so this situation makes me extremely stressed out. I know if i choose the new school i will leave my friends but i tell myself friends shouldn't impact my decision at all. I'm sorry if this is just plain stupid, but i don't know how to decide. I was wondering if anyone had any tips on how to make a decision, or make it easier.", "summary": "have to choose between two high school, need advice, help, anything at all will be helpful (even if that is telling me that this is idiotic high school bullshit) "} {"id": "t3_yhwn9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Heartache, lost and confused", "post": "I [21] saw my ex-girlfriend/best friend [21] of almost three years yesterday. This was the first time I've seen her in about eight months (we live on opposite ends of the state). Now this is a girl that I never got over and am still completely in love with. We dated for about five months and then I broke up with her because I was scared of falling in love and was to selfish to admit just how much I cared about her. \nTime passed and I realized just how fucking much she means to me. I tried to forget about her by sleeping around, dating other girls,and just doing everything in my power to push her out of my mind. I saw her this past weekend because she came down for a mutual friends wedding (which we went to together) and realized that I am completely lost without her and can't imagine her not being in my life. \nShe has a boyfriend at the moment, and if that wasn't hard enough, he doesn't treat her with respect or the love she deserves (and I know that I could treat her so much better.) Anyway, we had a long talk about it this weekend, and apparently she still loves me just as much as I love her, but we both suck at long distance relationships and she wants to see if things eventually work out between herself and this guy; but she admitted that if they don't, she isn't gonna try dating anyone else and will just wait till we can be together. \nShe left this morning and I have been a complete wreck ever since. I just miss her so damn much and am so scared of losing her. I feel so lost and don't know what to do anymore. How do I get through this?", "summary": "Fell in love; broke up; still in love; tried to replace her, couldn't; she's dating someone else; saw her yesterday; fell apart."} {"id": "t3_274xqm", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Looking for advice on my house. When do I stop paying?", "post": "I'll try to keep this short. My wife and I Bought the house in 2007 at the time it was valued ~135,000, we bought it for 126,900 at 6.25%. We have been wanting to move for the last 4 years but after 2008 we have of course been underwater. Last year I spent most of the year trying to sell the house as it looked like the market was improving a little. \n\nWhat I didn't know is houses in my particular subdivision were slowly being bought out and turned into rentals. This combined with foreclosures made it so FHA will no longer approve loans for the neighborhood. At this point after talking to multiple people it became clear my only real options were to do a short sale or get foreclosed on myself. (If anyone has any other suggestions or paths please say so)\n\nWe have been waiting for Wells Fargo to approve the short sale since December. Our finances are draining monthly, even if we could afford it we no longer want to live here as it doesn't feel safe anymore. We have had the house broken into and things stolen, as well as a car stolen out of the driveway, packages taken, mail tampered with, dog poop smeared on the side of our truck... the house is valued at 75,000 now, we still owe 107,000.", "summary": "House worth 75k now, still owe 107. Saving down to $5000 and getting lower each month. When should I just stop paying, or what other options might I have since we don't want to keep living here?"} {"id": "t3_2dhhtx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by wearing baggy trousers", "post": "I'm sitting down at a Chinese takeaway, happily waiting for my food, and notice that the buttons on my trousers had come undone because my trousers are way to big for me. I stand up to button my trousers back up, and midway through I'm caught staring right at a newspaper. Normally this wouldn't be too bad, but this newspaper was on page 3. The lady who took my order had just returned from whatever she was doing, to find me - stood there, buttoning my trousers after what looked like a quick jerk off by the till, aided by the fake tits on page 3. there was genuinely no way to explain, so eye contact was avoided during the next 10 minutes spent waiting for my order. I've never seen a face so shocked.", "summary": "got caught buttoning trousers up after they popped out due to trouser size - which looked like a page 3 wank-fest at a Chinese takeaway."} {"id": "t3_hzm89", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey reddit, do you think looking at cam-whore girls is wrong if you have a girlfriend?", "post": "My girlfriend asked me what I look at when I masturbate. I told her I either click on a few videos on redtube or youporn, or I go to livejasmin or cam4 and watch the cam chat girls. She was ok with watching traditional porn, but when i mentioned that I go to camming websites, she was saddened. I read an askreddit post about communicating with girls on /r/gonewild, and that most people thought this was worse than simply viewing porn, since you can private message the girls on gonewild, and possibly chat with them. The reason I watch cam girls is because the traditional 'porn' look is pretty gross IMO. I find normal/amateur girls more attractive than girls with fake tits and way too much makeup. In any event, I told her (and I plan to stick to this) that I will refrain from visiting camming websites.\nWhat do you guys think?", "summary": "Girlfriend is upset that I view cam girl sites when masturbating, but I only go there because 'porn' girls are ugly IMO."} {"id": "t3_53fmon", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22 M] Is it possible to become friends with your personal dominatrix?", "post": "Met a dominatrix online. Went to her house and her friend was with her. We both live in campus housing. They are going to dominate me together, may even have more women join in. I have to pay 50 bucks. Was thinking of giving them each a personal painting I made, I'm an artist.\n\nI'm REALLY excited.\n\nHowever, nervous and sad. Because this is BUSINESS for her. She isn't going to be touching me sexually really. I am paying her to do this. So once it is over, what happens next? And I'm really attracted to her friend who is going to partake as well.\nI guess, I want to be friends with them? Is that possible? Can I become friends with her or not? It feels weird. I actually just sent both of them a friend request on facebook and they both accepted it...at the same time practically.\nI just feel sad, because once the session is over. Then, well, can I ever talk to them again? The one girl is in my class and I will be seeing her again on Tuesday. What could I possibly say to her? How can I be her friend? Can subs be friends with their mistresses? I feel like they already look down on me or something. They haven't contacted since our meeting. I don't know. They just feel kind of cold, above me.", "summary": "Want to be friends with my dominatrix and her friend, dunno if that is possible or not because they look down on me?"} {"id": "t3_zogq5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I (23M) chase my girlfriend (21F) across the country?", "post": "We went to college on the west coast together and got together just over 11 months ago. We slowly crept up into a relationship status and we love each other very much. I graduated in May and moved back home to Hawaii. We agreed to continue the relationship because the distance isn't THAT bad (she's actually from Asia, so half the ticket cost going home).\n\nShe'll be graduating in December, and our plan was to have her come live with me in Hawaii. But here's the thing: her mom called recently and told her that she is having a difficult time in Asia and wants to move to New York with her (they both have dual citizenship). The mother owns property in Jersey just overlooking New York, so rent will not be an issue. They both welcome me to join them, except that I can't sleep with my girlfriend in the same bed, kiss/hug her in public, or be left alone with her in the house (crazy Asian mothers :X).\n\nFor myself, I just recently got hired with a one year commitment so the earliest I could move to them would be September 2013, and I would have to restart all of my networking that I've done/will do in the next year. I love my girlfriend and I want to be with her... but I understand her mother is very important to her and I have family of my own in Hawaii... we're both relatively stressed about this... as the months pass and start to approach December. Her mom does not want to move to Hawaii, or anywhere else other than her apartment in New Jersey. We talk about this problem, a lot. We feel that our careers and our families are pulling each other apart.\n\nI know ultimately we'll both have to make a decision, but I feel the pressure is all on me. Should I continue this relationship? Should I focus on my career? The women in Hawaii are very friendly, gorgeous and beautiful, but I've fallen in love with my girlfriend. We're definitely not going to get married until I'm 30 (promise I made to myself). Please let me know your thoughts reddit, I'm completely lost and the stress is overwhelming!!", "summary": "Girlfriend most likely will move to New Jersey after graduation from a west coast university. I have a 1 year commitment with my job in Hawaii. Should I continue the relationship?"} {"id": "t3_28gtbt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (19M) am more emotional that gf (19F). How do I act?", "post": "We've been together for 5 months now, and I'd initiate most of the contact between us. She's really passionate about the relationship and I can tell that she enjoys being around me, but sometimes it's like she's not interested at all.\n\nObviously I've been suppressing this and forcing myself to text her less and so on, but should I just tell her frankly how I feel?\n\nIt's her first relationship, so I've been assuming she's not used to the concept, which explains the way she acts. Am I wrong?\n\nI would've told her how I feel ages ago, but she mentioned that she turned this guy down before we started dating because he \"needed too much attention\". Should that affect my actions?", "summary": "I (19M) more emotional than gf (19F), 5 months, always initiate contact, she's passionate in person, seems bored sometimes, first relationship, do I tell her hoe I feel?"} {"id": "t3_4zk5ha", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "[Discussion] I am getting a new puppy in 30 days. Is it ok to have the puppy around my in-law's golden retreivers that are not vaccinated?", "post": "My fiancee and I rent her parent's guest house. We have one dog (lemon borador) and her parents have 2 golden retrievers. Her parents do not vaccinate their dogs. Her mom is one of those insane people that think vaccination poisons you and causes birth defects and autism (she also didn't vaccinate her children, but luckily there is nothing wrong with her daughter haha). Anyways, will it be safe to have our 8 week old scottish collie around their dogs? My main concern is with parvo obviously, but her dogs are relatively healthy and do not really come into contact with other dogs since they are kept at home all the time and never taken out. Can a dog carry parvo without suffering from it? Or Am i being too cautious and shouldn't worry about anything since neither of the dogs have any health issues?", "summary": "getting a scottish collie puppy in 30 days, live with 3 other dogs. 2 of them do not get vaccinations. Should i keep the puppy away from them until it's last round of vaccinations?"} {"id": "t3_3orren", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] cut off friend [18 F] of 4 years, because she lied.", "post": "I recently basically told my friend of 4 years to fuck off and never talk to me again. It's a weird situation, so here it is.\n\nI was friends with this girl for 4 years, I was dating a different girl for the last two years of our friendship. My ex broke up with me this past spring and I started hanging out with my friend a lot more. She said that I meant a lot to her, and I am the closest person in her life.\n\nWe hung out a lot together this summer, and in the past month, we developed feelings for each other. She told me she was falling for me, and I was falling for her as well. We decided to try dating, we kissed, fooled around, and were happy.\n\nAfter two weeks she started acting weird, so I just decided to call off the relationship and just be friends, just trying to get things back to the way they were. Everything was going fine being friends again until two days ago. She started texting my best friend and sent him nudes, also saying she never cared for me and never liked me. Well, my buddy told me everything that she said to him. I texted her saying it was a bummer that she lied to me. I blocked her on facebook, deleted her number, and told her to have a nice life.\n\nDid I over react? Honestly, I feel like I was played. It just didn't feel like a 2 way relationship after the past month. I felt like I was just keeping her company until she found someone better.", "summary": "Girl that was a friend said she had feelings for me, we dated for two weeks, broke up, then she sent nudes to best friend and told him she never cared for me."} {"id": "t3_3h3dzs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23M] just learned my parents are separating, need advice", "post": "I just received a call from my mom, she told me that she is breaking up with my dad. They have been married for almost twenty years. \n\nMy parents have quite different personalities. While my mom is very active and outgoing, my dad is rather introverted. That's why she wasn't happy anymore. My dad was fine living their everyday lives while my mom had to take initiave for everything (going out, vacation, ...).\n\nI was at work when she called me. While I was fine at first, I now have so many crushing thoughts roaming in my head. No more christmas as a family. When i graduate university, they will not be proud of me as my parents, but as two seperated instances in my life. My future children will never have them together as grandparents. I'm holding back tears while writing this.\n\nHow can i cope with this pain? I'm sure my mother will do fine, she is a strong person. But I'm worried that my father might do something drastic, become an alcoholic or even kill himself. He does not have any hobbies nor many friends or relatives to support him but me. I'm scared, I feel helpless and I don't know what to do.", "summary": "My parents are seperating after almost twenty years of marriage. I don't know how to cope with this and need advice."} {"id": "t3_38dj9b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my significant other [22 F] not sure how to move forwards with our relationship", "post": "Three weeks ago I met an amazing young woman at a wedding. We immediately clicked on quite a few levels and we had a lot of fun at the wedding and reception. I ended the night getting her number and we ended up having lunch the next day.\n\nUnfortunately we live four hours apart so at the end of the afternoon i had to make the long drive home. Over the next few weeks we Skyped most evenings and last weekend she visited me for the weekend. Overall I feel like things are going really well between us so far but there are two problems.\n\nFirst, about five months ago her boyfriend died in an accident and she is clearly still hung up on it. Several times she has clearly been shaken up by that and she has lingering feelings. I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through with that and I do my best to comfort her. She's clearly willing to open up to me in every way, but this is still definitely something she has going on.\n\nSecond, if things go forwards its going to be long distance. We live four hours apart. I'm in graduate school, she's in medical school so we're both pretty busy. There are definitely a lot of challenges there for both of us because we both want to succeed at what we're doing.\n\nI'm looking for any advice going forwards. She and I have talked about our future but she was very tentative about it. I told her I want to leave most of that in her court since she knows how I feel and she has some serious things to work through.", "summary": "I met an amazing girl at a wedding a few weeks ago and we immediately clicked but she has some serious baggage and its probably going to be long distance. Not sure how to proceed."} {"id": "t3_3js8rd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf [27F] and I [29M] can't decide where we should settle down", "post": "My gf and I are Singaporeans, and we are now both in Japan for work. We've dated for the last 4 years, and we are perfect for each other. Except one thing.\n\nI love Japan. I love the culture, the cleanliness, the people, and everything about it here. I want to work here, settle down here, and it's my dream to raise my kids here. My gf and I have lived in Japan for the last 2 years, and as far as I know, she's enjoying herself here too. We plan to get married here soon, and I want us to stay here indefinitely. I see Japan as a much better place to raise a kid, as the education system is broader, unlike Singapore's which focuses on academics and is highly stressful. \n\nHowever, she doesn't share my dream. She wants to go back to Singapore, because she doesn't want to abandon her friends and family. She mopes whenever she misses a friend's birthday or family event back home. From my point of view, we won't miss much if we take regular trips back to Singapore, but she claims it is the daily face-to-face interactions she crave. \n\nShe thought that spending 2 years here with me would be enough for me, and that we will return to Singapore after getting married here. On the other hand, I thought that spending 2 years here together can convince her that it can work out in Japan in the long run, and that we can settle here after getting married.\n\nWe've talked about this for the last 3 years and both of us have refused to give in, and we have kicked this can down the road this whole time. We plan to get married in Japan at the end of the month, mainly because I want a Japanese marriage certificate. Furthermore, our companies are sending us back to Singapore in November, so this can't be delayed any longer. Must one of us give in to make it work? We really are perfect for each other and we both probably wouldn't find someone else better than we are for each other. I want to marry her and Japan, while she wants to marry me and Singapore. What we really know is that we want to be together. What should we do..", "summary": "We're getting married soon and either I have to give up on my dreams or she has to abandon her friends and family."} {"id": "t3_28djss", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] with my Fiancee [25M] of 4 years, we've had a rough 12 months and I would like to make it up to him somehow. <3", "post": "My Fiancee and I have been through a hard year. We moved into our own apartment together in a new city with new jobs and no friends living close by. We've been on the verge of splitting up and I've underestimated him time after time. This is my turning point.\n\nI've been a pretty shit partner in the past. Due to my anxiety issues I constantly worry and try to control everything in my life to make it perfect. I've put my partner through some ordeals when I've been out of control, crazy and have asked too much of him. He's always been 100% supportive of me and genuinely loves me unconditionally. He does his best for me (even if seemingly at the time I'm saying it's not enough) and I really want to do something special for him just to let him know I appreciate him more than anything and am thankful for everything he's put up with from me.\n\nI am a very romantic person but lack inspiration and imagination. I want to do something for him that isn't cheesy but that really lets him know that he's my soul mate and the most perfect person in the world to me. (jesus I feel like I'm gonna burst into tears)", "summary": "Taken my partner for granted and I want to make a gesture to him just to say 'thanks for everything, I love you so much'."} {"id": "t3_1c67fj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23M] have been struggling with decision of breaking up with my long term, long(ish) distance girlfriend [22f]", "post": "I have been dating a great girl for almost 3 years now. She lives about an hour and a half away, and we see each other every other weekend, usually visiting each other's colleges. We also spend large chunks of our college breaks together.\n\nA while ago it clicked to me that there are too many differences in our interests for this to be something I want for the rest of my life. I love her and spending time together is great, but I think I owe it to both of us to come clear. I don't want to spend all of our time watching movies and netflix together. There are other things we do, but I don't think that our future interests match enough for it to be viable.\n\nWe are both graduating soon and she is looking to move away from home, while I plan on staying at mine. She is applying for jobs that would start in the fall (teacher), and I don't want to be an influence in where she goes if I don't think it will work. \n\nThis has been eating me inside and I have been failing to acknowledge it because I have no idea how to approach it. The relationship has no problems and I know she doesn't know what I'm going through. She would be blindsided. I need to tell her, but how? Every time we visit each other it is planned. I feel the best way to break up with someone is face to face (especially after 3 years). But I don't want to show up to her doorstep and drop this on her. And she gets so excited to see me when I visit, I can't show up to her college with nothing packed and tell her. \n\nI'm at a complete loss and I think I will make it worse on her the longer I wait. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "Healthy 3 year relationship with girl 1.5 hours away, realized that we are not compatible long term. No idea how to approach telling her"} {"id": "t3_39fppw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [17 M] Friends[17 M] have started to give me shit because of a Career choice i made.", "post": "I have been friends with these dudes(5 of them) since middle school.All of us were in the same Spanish and bio class until the first year of high school.\n\nThere is this guy lets call him (DAVE) who always had my back no mater what.But then there's the other guy lets call him (Mr ignorance).\n\nRecently both us got into an accident where he snitched on me and told the cops i was the one driving whereas he was the one driving,Both of were not intoxicated btw.He was hurt badly with half his face full of stitches,whereas i escaped unhurt.After that he has started acting weird.I tried to ignore him as much as i could,wont pickup his calls,wont reply to text's etc.\n\nThing is this dude has now started to make meme's and post captions relating to a Career choice i made,i wasn't selected into a specific university/college thus i decided to take a gap and appear for the entrance exam again next year to get into a field i want to make my Career in(Computer science,game dev).\n\nQuick Background :- Mr ignorance has always acted weird after seeing other's happy,He was pissed at himself when he saw my game library and my pc,when i got my bike,when this other friend who is part of our wolf pack lets call him (Catdude) got himself two cure Kittens,a projected i did got an A.One could see in Mr ignorance's eyes how much he hated other's success or happiness.He once tried to rip my expensive mechanical keyboard's key cap,and when i confronted him about this he claims to have removed it accidentally while playing.Which is know is impossible being a nerd. \n\nThis is i want to confront this dude for once,put a full stop to this.I am fed up of him with all those meme's .\n\nI have considered ddosing him and other options but that would be kinda illegal.", "summary": "A so called friend hate's me for no reason,has started cyberbullying need to put an end to it,confront him about it."} {"id": "t3_4ccjix", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [32M] wife [27F] hates the extra work time I put in. I think it's a way smaller deal than she does.", "post": "So I'm [32M] trying to basically start up my small company. It's been incorporated for a few years now but only until this year has it had any real profit. I firmly believe that businesses are very hard and I consider this recent, if small, sucess quite a milestone.\n\nWhen my wife [27F] and I first started dating she said she was so proud of me for having my own business, even if it wasn't really sucessful, and that she would absolutely support me throughout. I had (and still have) a day job as well, but she didn't seem to mind me spending extra time at work - either at the office or in the business - back then.\n\nWe now have a young (~1.5y) daughter, and I feel I have adjusted accordingly. While I keep spending time towards my business, I have cut back on hours at my day job to the bare minimum. When we are together, as a family, I try not to get bothered by work - however at times I have said to her \"while I'm home today, I will be working\", as needed for the business. But I do feel my company is essential for us - my day job is \"safe\" but won't help us much when I retire, she doesn't work anymore since the baby came and so we need all the extra money we can get, and to be thinking long term moneywise.\n\nRecently it's been a huge problem for her. For instance, last week I had to attend a longish meeting (4+ hours) in the evening, and she was upset the next morning (I arrived after they were asleep). It has caused huge arguments between us, because they way I see it, I'm working for them and I feel like I'm trying hard not to be singlemindedly focused on work and neglecting them. But it seems for her my efforts are not enough.", "summary": "My wife seems to think I work too much and I'm neglecting my family. I feel indignant because I have made conscious efforts to prevent it, and circumstances demand I work \"more than bare minimum.\""} {"id": "t3_20ogcb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [28M] think my SO [40F] of a year isn't over her ex of 16 years who she still visits.", "post": "This is my first real relationship and I'm constantly second guessing everything about it. I love her very much but I fear that I lack the tools required for this relationship to succeed. I already have trust issues that root from my mother being a compulsive liar. Now I want to trust her when she tells me that she doesn't want to be with her ex anymore but I don't know if I can. \n\nShe was with her ex for 16 years and raised his children. They have a vehicle loan together, she still has mail going to his home, and hasn't taken all of her belongings yet either. She still texts him often but will act surprised that he's texting her if I'm wary of it happening.\n\nAm I wrong to think that it's just a matter of time before she rekindles things with her ex?", "summary": "My SO still talks to and visits her ex of 16 years , who she also shares financials with. I'm worried about our future. Need some kind of advice."} {"id": "t3_unbid", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "25f How do you have the \"what are we\" conversation?", "post": "So I started talking with this guy, 23, for about a month or so (we met online). He was always trying me to meet up with him and eventually we did. We had two meetings, a week apart before I went to his apartment to hang out and we made out (one of which he paid for).\n\nAfter this happened, I kinda of tested the waters with a \"what are you looking for\" question and he said \"just feeling it out\". I thought, whatever, this is going nowhere.\n\nA week later, we slept together and for the past two weeks or so, we've seen each other a couple times a week, all resulting in sex. We also text like crazy and flirt and what not. We had an intense text convo about what we like sexually.\n\nYesterday he asked me to stay the night, but I couldn't because I had work in the morning (or else I would have). He also started calling me cute nicknames and really focusing on pleasuring me more.\n\nSince the sex has been super awesome and I really like him and he is suuuuper cute, I want to know if we can be a relationship. I told him somewhat recently that I would like to figure out what is going on. I'm not going to be hurt if its just a sex thing but I wouldn't be mad if he wanted to be more serious.\n\nI am going on a business trip soon and I won't be able to see him so I'd like to know what is up. I've not met any of his friends, minus his roommate and he hasn't met any of my friends. He has invited me to group things with his social circle though but we have opposite work schedules (I work days, he works nights).", "summary": "I like a younger guy. Known him 2ish-3 months, 1 month has been \"dating like\". Said he wants to know how its going, but I want to have the talk because my feelings are stronger now."} {"id": "t3_3z21q7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me(21m) and one of my closest friends (21f) have become interested in each other. She's not single", "post": "So I've always been absolutely disgusted by the concept of cheating. But recently this girl who I've been friends with since 3rd grade told me she's regretted not being in a relationship with me while we were both in high school. I like her, she likes me.\n\nShe's also in a long term relationship, with a guy I know fairly well.\nShould I just tell her I won't get emotionally invested until she decides what she's going to do about her bf? It's not fair to her, and especially not to him to act like we are.\n\nIf we dated it would be 2 hours long distance, not much is going to change that. I'm just looking for an outlet to talk to people about this.", "summary": "a very long lasting friendship has suddenly become something more, but the girl has a bf. If we dated it would be long distance. I have no idea what to do."} {"id": "t3_1qh5gd", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Redditors, when is the right time to tell someone you love them? Is it strange if the woman says it first?", "post": "Hi Reddit! I am using a throw away because my SO is a Redditor.\n\nSo, I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for 3 months. We are both very busy and career-driven people, but we eat dinner together every night and spend every night together. (We have not slept separately in over 2 months). He makes me insanely happy; he is my best friend in a lot of ways, and I feel like we are the perfect complements to each other in a lot of ways. \n\nFor the last couple of weeks I have wanted to tell my SO that I love him, but I am afraid for several reasons. \n\n1) It may be \"too soon.\" \n\n2) I feel vulnerable.\n\n3) I actually haven't told someone I love them since my last LTR (which was two years ago). \n\n4) I have never said it first, and part of me thinks that it might be because I was brought up to believe that men should say it first.\n\nNow, I feel that he loves me too. The way he looks at me, how thoughtful he is, the little things he does for me, all leads me to believe that he loves me too. I've met all of his significant family members, I've met all of his friends, we dressed up in a couples costume for Halloween, etc. But on some level I do not really know because he has not said it.\n\nI guess I just want to know if it's strange that I am so scared, and if you all felt that it was too soon to tell him how I feel. How do you feel about women saying it first?", "summary": "When is the right time to say you love someone? Should I (a female) be afraid to say it first?"} {"id": "t3_15jyet", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "My Daughter made me feel like an asshole today. Reddit, when have your kids made you feel bad by doing somerhing good?", "post": "Today I went with my SO and our three year old to get our car washed. There were two benches, and my SO and daughter sat at one. I went to go sit next to our little one, and she said, \"No, don't sit here.\"\n\nHurt, I sat next to my SO and started loudly playing our girl's favorite game on my phone. When she came over to play, I said, \"no, you weren't nice.\"\n\nMy fiance\u00e9 then said, \"why did you tell daddy not to sit here?\" Our little one says, \"cause this is the girl's bench. The boy's bench is over there.\" Then my SO said, \"do you love daddy?\" And then our girl said, \"of course I love daddy.\" I felt like an asshole and let her play with my phone immediately.", "summary": "our little girl made me feel like an asshole by trying to play a game with me and I didn't realize it."} {"id": "t3_1666yt", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Ex bf [26/m] sent me naked pics of me [28/f], I'm afraid he will make them public. Need advice.", "post": "I'm a girl (28) and now I'm dating a 37 guy. On October 2011 I ended a relationship with this other guy, let's call him Richard (26), we used to have a long distance relationship which lasted for a year and a half, he came to live to my country but things got messy, he was jealous and I used to work 24/7 and didn't have time for him, so he ended the relationship and we last met on 2012 New Year's Eve, where we said horrible things to never talk again. He went back to his country, only to find out that once I cheated on him by hacking my mail. I found out it was him because Richard sent screenshots of my conversations to a friend he thought I was dating (with a fake account).\n\nOn this New Year's eve I got this text message: \"Hey girl, some naked pictures of you are out there on the Internet, check your mail. Btw, nice tits\". I was on a trip with my new BF having the time of my life, and asked him for his smart phone to check my mail. When I saw the fake account, where they sent the texts from, I knew it was Richard. Then I saw the pictures, they show only my boobs, he covered my face with Photoshop or something. The \"anonimous\" message was \"Look what I found, be careful, ok?\" and nothing else. I didn't answer the mail, so today I got another text message from the same server that said \"Hey, nice pictures of you\". \n\nBy knowing this guy, I can tell he is really jealous from my new relationship and on New Year's eve he remembered our last and horrible fight. Please, don't judge me and help me, I really don't know what to do or how to react, he got those pics from when we used to have cybersex, but I never thought he would try to do something to me. Richard thinks I didn't notice that it's him, what can I do?", "summary": "Ex long distance boyfriend saved naked pictures of me while cybering long time ago, got jealous of my new relationship and wants to make them public. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_1n385z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Breakup] My husband [M23] and I [F23] are separated and getting a divorce; Not sure how to get a divorce because we are in a different state now than when we got married.", "post": "Both my husband and I are 23, we got married about a year ago due to me pressuring him...and I have felt guilty for about the last six months. \n\nAfter having a long talk, we both decided that we would like a no-fault divorce (from what we understand, we don't qualify for an annulment), but we aren't sure about what we need to do now. We got married in Florida, but are now residing in Missouri...and we've only been in Missouri for three weeks. After a Google search, I read that we'd have to be separated for two years and living in Missouri for at least 90 days. \n\nNeither of us really intend on going back to Florida, so where are we supposed to fill out our divorce paperwork? And are we really expected to be separated longer than we were married? We don't want to resort to using lawyers and having a nasty breakup, just want to fill out some paperwork, apologize to each other, and just continue on with our lives since we didn't have any children or buy a house or anything.", "summary": "Young couple got married too early and are looking to have a no-fault divorce. Currently residing in a different state, so not sure of what paperwork we need to fill out, and are hoping to avoid using lawyers."} {"id": "t3_47nruy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27/f] want to know: how do you meet/date people who actually want to be with you?", "post": "I'm 27/f and have had two real relationships. I don't like dating (i.e., auditioning physical relationships with people I barely know) and have had virtually no smaller relationships in between. Both those relationships started as friendships for about six months, morphed into dating on their initiative (first for less than a month, second for about 8 months), and then we broke up but stayed really good friends for at least a year afterward before either drifting apart or forcibly ending contact. I'm about to do the latter with the second guy this weekend. With the second guy we relapsed a few times in that year which has run me through a roller coaster. The first guy was about three-four years ago.\n\nThe really good friends thing is what kills me. These were both people with whom there was strong chemistry, strong physical intimacy, strong friendship/respect/shared values/compatible interests/compatible intellect/make each other laugh like crazy, and real affection. In both cases, we worked through some significant life turning points together that were pretty bonding. I'm being a little on the clinical side for brevity, but in other words: the makings of what I would consider a great relationship. They didn't want to date me anymore (despite obviously being attracted to me) but wanted to stay really good friends (like, among both of ours top-3 closest friends at the time I'd say). Both of these guys are sensitive, monogamous, only date one person at a time, don't really date casually, looking to have a family guys. I didn't feel like I wanted to marry them, but I didn't feel like I specifically couldn't do that, and thought there was a lot more good stuff left to live through together.", "summary": "I seem to have a knack for finding guys who think I'm *almost* the bees-knees, but not quite, while I think they're pretty great. What should I do differently?"} {"id": "t3_2309td", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28M] and my wife [25F] are in a dry spell. Having trouble coping with my PG-rated marriage.", "post": "We've been married 4.5 years so far. Both each other's first. I'm relatively normal as far as upbringing, struggle with mild depression at times. She has reproductive/hormonal medical issues, currently being treated, Also a history of childhood sexual abuse, but she's extraordinarily strong and has coped with this very well.\n\nLast time we were intimate was in December 2013. Before that, October 2013. Before that, June or August 2013. Been gradually slowing down since we were married. Aside from the sex we're mostly fine, relationship-wise. She says it's likely due to her medication, and medical conditions. I can accept that. \n\nMy problem is that it's starting to affect my well-being. I'm depressed and anxious often. I'm losing emotional connection and distancing myself. My advances are pathetic and hopeless, and just make her feel worse for saying no.\n\nI often feel like she doesn't consider me attractive although she says she does. It doesn't help that she's openly said she thinks \"naked men are gross\" (meaning to me she doesn't like penises, which I can also understand considering her history). I have let her know this hurts me, and she hasn't mentioned it again, but I keep thinking \"honey, how would you feel if I said 'breasts are disgusting!' Except yours, yours are great.\" It's playing on my mind a lot lately.\n\nI need some advice on getting through this. I don't want to be driven by my sexual needs. Masturbating/porn doesn't help, it just makes me crave the real thing more and I personally think it's disgusting and selfish. I don't know if I want advice or commiseration here, but it's to the point I'm considering looking into some kind of drug to \"neuter\" my sex drive for the time being.", "summary": "We haven't been intimate for a while due to medical (and possibly emotional) issues. Need some advice in how to cope and not go insane and maintain a good relationship with my wife while we work it out."} {"id": "t3_4kdjnq", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Diagnosed with mental and personality disorders and completely lost. Could use some advice.", "post": "I'm 19 years old (will be 20 in October) and was primarily diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and avoidant personality disorder.\nI believe there's more to it, but I'm in the middle of changing psychiatrists so still waiting for the other's diagnosis. \nI live in Cairo, Egypt. Currently finishing my first year in the Canadian international college in Cairo (it's rubbish), majoring in Mass Communication. (This is not the major I wanted.)\nI wanted to go to med school, but since my father wouldn't pay for any supplementary classes (which are a must in my country. Teachers in high school explain nothing assuming that you're already learning outside) I ended up with bad grades. (62% but med school takes from 98%)\nI had a businessman funding my scholarship for the first year but I lost it (even though my GPA is 3.7) and I have no idea how I'll continue.\nI've been thinking about dropping out since I hate that college and the major.\nIt's making my depression even worse, but \"arguably\" helping with the AvPD. I thought about dropping out. Maybe spend the next three years working on my art projects (I'm an artist and wanted to be a film director and writer) and study sciences (biology, physics, chemistry.., etc.) so it would be easier when I take those courses to apply as a mature student in a med school.\nI also have no idea how I'll do that since it means I have to leave this country. I really want to, but I can't see any options.", "summary": "I'm in a college that I hate studying a major that I also hate and thinking about dropping out. I've been told that that's not reasonable, but I'm sick of it."} {"id": "t3_2xf5sk", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by shaving my beard in the shower for the first time", "post": "After getting a haircut, I always take a shower and then shave. I kept reading how great shaving in the shower was, so I figured why not? I took a nice hot long shower, and then started shaving while my shampoo was still in my hair... Of course, a bit of shampoo gets in my eye, right when I was shaving where my adam's apple is. Great, blood. So I continue, this takes much longer than I anticipated since my beard had grown and it took so many passes, plus no mirroir did not help. Shit, my shaving blade says it's at the end of it's life and it is true, starting to irritate my skin, so I take my time and be careful. Double shit, no more hot water, quickly shave but drop the blade on my toe and wash the shampoo in the damn cold...\n\nFinally I get out of the shower in a rush, take another blade and finish the job properly. I take a nice nap, but I awaken with pain in my lower stomach, I investigate. My urethra is all swollen up, and I see the reason right away, a tiny hair was embedded in the inside of the hole. I carefully take it out while crying a little.\n\nAnd then I had to go pee...........\n\nA few hours later, I am now able to walk", "summary": "Shaved in shower. My urethra got infected because of a hair from my shaving. And then I had to go pee"} {"id": "t3_1qi8ik", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27F] with my friend [27M] of couple months, should I be excited?", "post": "So, made a new friend a couple months ago. Been getting to know this guy pretty well and have really been enjoying spending time with him. From the beginning, he made it clear he wasn't looking for a relationship (with anybody) due to an anticipated career change that could take him out of the state. I think that's fine since I'm not really looking for a relationship either. \n\nWe've progressively been spending more and more time together the last few weeks and I've been comfortable enough to open up about some pretty difficult stuff to him. This man makes me laugh so hard. He's incredibly intelligent, we pretty much finish each others' sentences, and he's the first guy to come along who has invested time in genuinely becoming my friend without trying to get in my pants shortly after. \n\nHe recently invited me to come to his family's Thanksgiving AND Christmas dinners. Along with this, there was mention of \"wanting to stay in the area\" as far as new job/career. He messages me on a daily basis and would have gladly come over for the fourth night in a row tonight to hang out had I not been completely exhausted. \n\nI'm struggling because 1.) I'm starting to like this guy, a lot 2.) this whole being friends first thing is foreign territory to me 3.) what if talking to him results in him not feeling mutually? I'm feeling my self-sabotage kicking in. \n\nShould I take the invitations for the holidays and behavior as a hint that he might be feeling something more than a friendship? I don't want to blow this. He's absolutely amazing. \n\nPeople, I secretly do a happy dance every time he gets turned down for jobs out of state or that are far away because that means I get to spend a little more time with him before he goes away for good. I want the best for him though, no matter wherever life takes him. \n\nI know I need to talk to him, but I don't know how to even begin the conversation. I've never been in a situation like this before. Help! Any advice would be welcome.", "summary": "Met an amazing guy who turned into an amazing friend and now I want to open my heart up to him, but I'm scared."} {"id": "t3_1pilji", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my Girlfriend [14 F] 3 months, She's young but I cared a lot about her?", "post": "This is my first post so if you need any more information please ask, I could really use some help.\n\nSo basically my brother has had his girlfriend for 4 years, and her sister (wasn't gf at the time), my brother and my brothers girlfriend and I went to a concert, my brother always joked around about how her and I would get together and I was always a bit disgusted about thought since she was so young..\n\nbut when I met her... it felt like she was the one... she was literally the exact same as me. so we went on a few dates and I tend to have really bad trust issues, but trusted her very quickly.\n\nwhile we were dating everything was going perfect except for the fact that I was kinda losing the bond between my brother and she was losing the bond between her sister, and also the week before that I told her I went to a halloween party because I wanted the relationship to be completely honest, and told her I didn't do anything and told her I'm sorry and I won't do it again. \n\nthen basically it all got really weird and confusing..\n\na few days after the party incident she invited me to go with my brother, his gf and her to get icecream but I passed up on the invitation basically because I didn't have money at the time and didn't want people paying for me, then the morning after that night she calls me and tells me she wants to break up with me because we're apparently at different stages of our life.. which is pretty obvious noticing the age gap?\n\nthis breakup happened a week ago and I'm wondering what I should do.. I haven't talked to her since and I want to still be friends with her but it ended off with me saying something along the lines of \"well have a nice life, and I don't want the sweater back so keep it or throw it in the garbage\"... should I send her a message or will she message me? and how can I get over her? I'm very sad every time I think of her.", "summary": "I dated my brothers girlfriends sister, then she broke it off in a strange manner but I still want to be friends with her? how can I?"} {"id": "t3_33w0rv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I read these mixed signals from my ex (20/f) who re-initiated conversation with me (24/m) after a breakup where I was at fault?", "post": "Ex Girlfriend who I want to get back with:\n\nWeek Ago = Randomly texts me inviting me to go on a trip with her this summer\n\nWe start texting and have quick phone calls throughout the day\n\nShe randomly texted me saying \"Let's have a kid\" after all of our conversations were really platonic. \n\nFew days ago = She texts me telling me that she's depressed and she hates herself and her life and how she hasn't been happy in months (Since we broke up)\n\nNext day = Few texts / quick phone call (She worked all day)\n\nHowever, the last 2 days I haven't heard ANYTHING from her. No calls no texts. \n\nShe initiated the reconnect about a week or so ago, things have been going Well. She broke down, I was there for her. \n\nI'm mentally torn between if this is the time to:\n\nA) Confess how I feel about her. Basically write her some heartfelt genuine letter letting her know that I love her and \"Win\" her back. \n\nB) Just continue to give her space\n\nI don't want to be \"That Guy\" who sends the 4th straight text when none of the previous ones have been returned...but I got all excited thinking that I'm going to get my girl back and now I'm left wondering what's going on. \n\nIf anyone of my friends were in this situation I'd instantly tell them to back off... but I just think this situation is different because she initiated conversation with me...and confessed to this overwhelming depression... I don't know\n\nAdvice", "summary": "I fuck up. We break up. 6 months later she starts talking to me, invites me on a trip, then confesses to being so unhappy...then silent treatment."} {"id": "t3_20bvjs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "In-laws gave my SO & I a loan for a house but how do we pay them back now that they insist it is a gift?", "post": "I wonder what you guys would do in this situation.\n\nWe bought a house this January with 15% down. We had enough to put 20% down but it would have wiped out our Emergency Fund, so we decided to put 15% down and just make extra payments (good thing, too, because the first weekend we moved in we had a major storm that damaged our gutters and had to replace those right away!). Well, between extra payments, a tax return, and a bonus, we're able to get to 20% equity probably by July (that way we won't be paying PMI).\n\nMy in-laws gave us $14k officially as a gift but with the understanding that we would pay them back. There was some controversy with my FIL initially not wanting to give us the money and my MIL got angry and they fought about it and yadda yadda yadda, but we ended up with the money.\n\nWe think we'll be able to have the $14k saved up by next summer.\nHowever, now they are both insisting it is a gift and we shouldn't pay them back. My FIL is also an insurance salesman and paid our first year of homeowners insurance. And then they sent us a $1,000 gift card for furniture.\n\nI want to pay this money back. I feel like we agreed it was a loan and we have the means to pay them back. How do I handle this? Do I just send them a cashier's check once we have the money? Do I put it in a CD in their names? :/\n\nI just don't feel good converting this money into a \"gift\" since it wasn't supposed to be a gift. What would you do in this situation?\n\nMy SO talked to his parents about this and they just said \"no no no, qwicksilfer is in grad school and you might get laid off. You're young and you need this money!\" Together, we earn well over $100k. We're doing great. We don't need this money, we only needed it as a security blanket when we bought the house. But we have since replenished the security blanket.", "summary": "In laws gave us money as a \"loan\" and now insist it is a gift. I don't feel good about the money as a gift. How do we resolve this issue?"} {"id": "t3_2vdjkk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Personal issues]I(M27) spent a wonderful day with an old friend(30F). Confused about my emotions.", "post": "As the title states - I spent a day with an old friend of mine, we did a lot of things and talked for hours about everything.\n\nDuring one of these activities, a movie, I did something, I thought, was a little more than just friendly. She had her drink in a cup holder on the opposite side of the chair from me. Without saying anything, I leaned over, slowly, and took ity form the cup holder, took a sip and put it back, again, slowly. She said something and I turned to her, our faces were maybe half an inch apart and we just hovered there for, maybe, 5-10 seconds. Felt like an eternity. \n\nAt this point I felt something, I felt nervous as hell and for no apparent reason, it was that giddy feeling you get on a good date. But we are just old friends enjoying a day together, what gives?\n\nAnd here's the kicker - about 12 years ago we were a couple. We were together for a little under a year. I have another randezvous with her today and we have a party we are going to on Saturday. Not together, we are both invited, but we figured out, that we are going to the same thing. Can someone help me sort trough this mess? After my last relationship I feel scared. \n\nThere is another thing I have to mention - I'm home for vacation. I live about 2000 miles away, so this can't really go anywhere.", "summary": "Met with an old friend I had history with LONG time ago. Felt a spark,don't know how to approach and/or manage the situation."} {"id": "t3_1gnrxf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My GF [25F] of 3 years is/was possibly trying to hook up with another man behind my [31/M] back", "post": "Our relationship has been long distance mostly (150 miles between her and my respective homes and workplaces), so we've been seeing each other mostly on weekends and holidays.\nIt's been going extremely well, I love hear dearly, she says it's mutual - and I always believed her, still do - , so naturally we were/are thinking about starting the process of living together in the next months to take the next big step.\n\nLately, we had our first big differences (mostly concerning our future life, most of those were misunderstandings), which we worked out and going strong now.\n\nThe big damper was when I found snippets of a conversation of her with another guy from a time briefly before we had our big talk.\nThose snippets are from him, so I don't have the full picture, but from the texts, I suppose she was talking to him that her relationship is hitting a rough patch and she might be interested in him.\nWhich would be a huge betrayal in my eyes!\n\nShe tried to tell me about problems she had with our relationship many weeks before the talk and I definitely did not read the signs very well and did not take them serious enough, but for me, this would still in no way excuse such a betrayal.\nIt looks like she told him that she is back to being fully committed to our relationship, cause his the last snippet was something along the lines of \"whatever, I can't change that anyways\", but still, she has not told me about all this.\nI gave her one or two big chance to come clean to me in a basic conversation about trust, unfortunately she did not take them.\nI feel extremely hurt about this, but I want the full picture, so that I know what exactly I would have to forgive. \n\nWhat do I do about it?\nTry to forget about it and be glad that she chose our relationship over him and work on making this relationship better than ever? (I am not sure I can do that)\nOr confront her about all this? How?", "summary": "hit a rough patch in our relationship, worked it out, but I found out that she was already considering another option/guy, no idea if/how I should confront her about it"} {"id": "t3_1sluw4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24f] find it impossible to take things slowly.", "post": "I recently started seeing a guy who has hung out in my group of friends for a few years. We've really only hung out in social situations or at his house. Since we started seeing each other we barely talk during the week and only see each other on weekends.\n\nI'm pretty confused by this considering I've pretty much rushed into a lot of my previous relationships. Not really sure if this is \"taking it slow\" or he's just not that into me. I feel like we're not getting to know each other better but I don't want to force or rush things.", "summary": "I've been seeing a guy for about two months and we've kind of reached a standstill. How long should I wait to see if he takes the next step, or am I wasting my time?"} {"id": "t3_3fov4d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My ex [m/24] of 3 years had a double life\u2014cheated on me [f/24] for almost 2 years with another \"girlfriend\"", "post": "I just need some \"anonymous\" words of wisdom / advice on how to move on from this trauma. \n\nI found out 2 days ago my bf of 3 years cheated on me with another girl \u2014 for nearly 2 years \u2014\u00a0who was also his gf. Why do people do this? I dumped him on the spot, and despite having red flags about certain things, he was always communicating with him and saw me regularly, would always deny going behind my back, and try to remind me he's faithful. \n\nI never got the answers I wanted from him; he refused to answer them stating it was \"pointless\" now because I won't believe what he says, and I won't get back with him. He admitted to having a \"double life,\" and I just can't understand why/how someone would want to invest so much time, lie to someone's face, go out of their way to meet/talk/call their \"gf 1\" and then continue screwing them over. He also didn't have much remorse/guilt and barely apologized or begged for my forgiveness. \n\nI'm writing here because I just wanna know how people recover from this and how regularly this happens to other people.", "summary": "Reeling in from finding out my [now] ex-boyfriend had a double life with two girlfriends \u2014\u00a0was cheating on me for almost 2 years of my 3 +1/2-year relationship."} {"id": "t3_1cz8xq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is the way I want to propose to my girlfriend too far-fetched?", "post": "Hello all! Long time redditor here, but my girlfriend is as well so I've created a new account since she sometimes uses mine. I am trying to plan the perfect wedding proposal. [\"Home\" by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros] is kind of \"our song\" if you will; I know that's a puketastically cheesy thing to say, but I don't really care. We are going to Bonnaroo together this year, and the lineup happens to include Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros. For those of you who aren't familiar with the song (and chose to ignore the handy dandy link), the bridge is dialogue back and forth between the (male and female) lead singers about how they were falling in love and whatnot. My vision of the perfect proposal would be getting in contact with the band so that when they get to that part of the song I can walk out on stage and ask for her hand in marriage from there.\n\nWe've already talked about getting married and both want to, so I'm not afraid of her saying no and subsequently being embarrassed in front of a big crowd. Is it selfish of me to want to inconvenience the band in such a way though? I like to think that I'm a fairly normal guy, but they have no idea of knowing if I'm some crazy dude or not. I sent an email via their website's contact page about a month and a half ago, but never got a reply. I followed up two weeks ago but still, nothing. I'm a realist, so I know that there's a pretty good possibility they won't be cool with it. However, I've also seen a video of Eddie Vedder holding up a Pearl Jam concert so he can play a song for one guy's proposal just because the dude wrote him a letter. So stranger things have happened.", "summary": "I want to propose to my girlfriend in the middle of \"Home\" when Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros play it at Bonnaroo."} {"id": "t3_t94xk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I found out a good friend of mine is being cheated on, but I'm not sure if I should tell him. Advice please.", "post": "So like the title says, this week I found out that my friend has been cheated on. His name is R (18M) and his girlfriend is S(18F). The two of them have been dating since the 9th grade, so over 3 years now. I recently heard a friend of S who I am also friends with mention it, and I pressed her for details. Me and S friend are the only ones who know, other than S. I found out S has cheated on R at least three times since they started dating. Twice with the same guy, and once with a different guy. S apparently feels bad about this, and said she would never do it again to my mutual friend. But she's cheated on him 3 times, its likely she will do it again (In my mind, anyways).\n\nThe problem is that I don't know if I should tell R. He's been super stressed lately. He's taking a full course load at school (he has a 90+ average), has a job and his dad is really sick and can't take care of himself. R is in love with S, and if he found out I'm not sure what he would do. I know for sure that he would stop functioning for awhile, and probably start failing school and skipping work. Also, I'm not supposed to know, and I don't know if its my place to butt into their relationship.\n\nSo reddit, what should I do?", "summary": "Close friends girlfriend cheated on him, 3 times. Close friend doesn't know. I found out, but I'm not supposed to know. Close friend is to stressed to handle the situation."} {"id": "t3_3h5tld", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [18F] get over my ex-boyfriend [18M] as fast as possible?", "post": "My ex-boyfriend and I dated for 8 months. We were each other's first relationship, first love... and now first breakup. We actually have been planning the breakup for the last several months since neither once of us want to be in a long-distance relationship once we start college. \n\nWe broke up on Wednesday and have agreed not to talk to each other for a long long time. It was actually not a great relationship (lots of fights) and I had considered breaking up with him several times, but not being able to talk to him is harder than I thought it would be. Since we have been planning the breakup for so long, I've completely accepted it and I know we won't ever get back together. I just want to stop missing him.\n\nI know the typical thing to do after a break up is to think about old memories and listen to sad songs and generally just give yourself a little while to dwell on it. But every time I do this I just start feeling lonely and sad, so I've been pushing all thoughts of the breakup out of my mind. I guess it's like I'm pretending that the relationship never existed. But I want to be completely 100% over him as soon as I can and I don't know if this is the healthiest way to get there. I have no desire to wallow or grieve, but should I force myself to? What is the best way?", "summary": "He and I just broke up, I want to get over him by not thinking about him for a while. First breakup, not sure how to handle it"} {"id": "t3_4bj59m", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "At home work outs with my psychotic downstairs neighbour? Non jumping stationary cardio alternatives?", "post": "Hi r/loseit! I just started my weight loss (CW:220 GW:175) journey a few days ago and have been doing some at home work outs to get some courage up before I head to the gym. I live in a really old building on the top floor and my neighbour downstairs is psychotic. He'll bang on the ceiling at 2pm on a Sunday if I'm cleaning.\n\nI started doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred which is a lot of fun, but requires jumping/skipping which has sent my downstairs neighbour into an absolute frenzy. I always work out around 6PM. Not even quiet hours!\n\nI don't wear shoes, and work out on TWO STACKED YOGA MATS and he still complains!\n\nLong story short, does anyone have any cardio suggestions which are akin to jumping jacks, butt kicks etc that don't require jumping?", "summary": "Looking for cardio alternatives that don't require jumping as my downstairs neighbour will never stop complaining about the noise even if it were silent."} {"id": "t3_1fy1wn", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Didn't punch a guy back", "post": "So the other night, I was chilling in the car with a couple of my friends on a street a block away from my house. We were just talking when this car pulls up next to us. \n\nIn the car were several, clearly drunk, guys and they start talking to us claiming we trashed their neighborhood. Obviously we're just like wtf and we're trying to talk to the guy when his friend from behind him gets out of the car and confronts me. Then as we're talking, he just sucker punches me. Now, I have a pretty short temper and have gotten into fights before but for some reason, it didn't really make me mad (maybe because the punch wasn't really much?). \n\nI actually smirked and we just said fuck it and we left. My friends asked why I didn't do anything and I really didn't know. Now I can't tell if I really don't care or if I'm just a pussy. What is it? Am I just being a bitch or am I \"maturing\"?", "summary": "some motherfucker punched me, I didn't punch him back, can't tell if I'm some zen master or if I'm just a pussy"} {"id": "t3_27x9ty", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my Girlfriend [17 F] of 6 months, I want to break up but I fear the worst", "post": "This girl and I began dating in December and we've been together since then. It's almost been six months now. There's no problems in the relationship but I've been thinking a lot about breaking up with her. \n\nShe's a great gal and we get along really nicely, but I just don't want to be in a relationship anymore. \n\nI've been considering how I can go about telling her but I don't know how to properly do it. She's my first girlfriend and I'm her first boyfriend. In school we're part of the ap program and we have all our classes together and will definitely have the same classes next year in grade twelve as well. That's the problem. \n\nI care a lot about this girl and the last thing I want to do is hurt her anymore than what breaking up. I'm worried that if we break up she will drop the ap program and I don't want to see her throw away all her progress. \n\nShe's part of my group of friends and in my group there are three couples including myself and her. I have heard from the other couples that they would drop the program entirely to avoid seeing their ex for the entire year. So not only am I afraid she'll drop the program, but I'm worried the group of friends will seriously be affected. \n\nThe school year is almost done and I plan on doing it over the summer break to giver both of us recovery time so we can hang out with our own friends and not be forced to see each other daily. As she is my first girlfriend I'm completely lost on how to go about this. Your opinions would be greatly appreciated!", "summary": "I wanna break up with her because I simply no longer want to be in a relationship. I don't know what I'm doing and there are significant side effects"} {"id": "t3_3ydpha", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "16M don't really know what i'm looking for", "post": "Its gonna be pretty long to explain my situation. Sorry.\nSo i'm a junior in high school and by nature I am very quiet and talk only with really close friends. I'm not afraid of talking for long periods of time but small talk absolutely kills me. I've been labelled as a strong silent type by some people due to my build, personality, and the fact that (according to my peers) my normal face looks like my serious or pissed off face. I dont really get it personally but thats just what i've heard from other perspective\n. Anyways, lately i've been hanging out with my classmates more often via my more sociable friend. My classmates afterwards said i'm actually quite funny once they got to know me. Since I had gotten to talk to more people I ended up becoming quite friendly with them. \nSkipping over some details this eventually led to me buying some christmas presents for some people. In return, one girl gave me a Christmas card with a very long winded and thoughtful response on how I was a very caring person, and that i'm appreciated by many folks, etc. (This girl is taken by the way, just quite nice). But the card struck some particular cord and it made me realize that I had been missing out on a lot of happiness with my peers, including a serious relationship. I realized that I wanted someone to share this kind of happiness all the time with. \nTo sum it all up I don't know exactly what i'm looking for, all I know is that i'm looking for somebody to be happy with where previously I had been quite distant and isolated. Is there any way I could turn my natural personality into strengths? And is there a certain way to narrow down exaclty what i'm looking for? If you need more info just ask", "summary": "I was previously distant from my classmates and now after spending time with them I feel happy and want to share it with somebody, except I don't know who, or how to go about doing so."} {"id": "t3_nz2y3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I tell my boyfriend I don't want to keep the cat we are fostering?", "post": "So, my boyfriend and I are currently fostering a kitten (it lives with us while we nurse her back to health; she has a kitty cold). \nWe both love cats, but our feelings differ in that he was raised with cats in his household, and I was not.\n\nAnyway, we've been living together for a couple of years now and we talked about getting a cat. He'd always push for getting a kitty ASAP but I'd always give vague answers like \"now's not a good time\", etc.\nSo this christmas, I finally conceded to the pressure and we got a kitty.\n\nNow I am miserable. I have allergies that aren't at all life-threatening but incredibly discomforting (itchy eyes, sinus congestion), and we live in a studio apartment (one room). My allergies don't get too bad as long as I avoid the cat (which is hard to do). I'm assuming everyone knows the level of energy kittens have, which in turn is part of the reason I haven't slept a full night since we got her. This wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't starting my final semester of college next week (I'm in an intensive program, so I get very stressed).\n\nThe only real solutions I can think of are getting rid of the cat, or moving out. My boyfriend said that if I move out, we'd have to break up and he'd move back home because he couldn't afford to stay in our current apartment. So that means that if I want to move out, I have to pay rent at my new apartment and the current apartment; I haven't done a budget yet so I'm not sure if this is feasible.", "summary": "If I can't afford to pay rent at two separate apartments, am I an asshole for asking my boyfriend to give up the cat?"} {"id": "t3_33df8h", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting email passwords and having facebooked hacked", "post": "Okay! So, first post here but last night I was trying to go onto facebook too show my boyfriend some cool art my sister does.\nWeird. I'm signed out. Someone changed my passwords on my facebook, nbd, I don't use it like crazy. That is until I realised what email they used too get my facebook password.\n\nLittle bit of background info time.\nWhen I was 13 I dated this dude for 3 months. He was obessed.He found my password for my original email account I was using after I broke up with him. He proceeded to say a bunch of mean things, changed my password, and told my boyfriend (the one I had at the time) that I never wanted to see him again. \n\nSo I went through the hassle of making a new email address and changing my password and just relocating my internet things. after that it was going well\n\nI also had some nude photos of me. Sent those to my new email address, just to have them (understand I was underage). \n\n Turned out, I misspelled my new email address without noticing. So any time I tried to sign in, I couldn't. So I just let that one sit, connected to my facebook. Whatelse can you do? 8 years later, someone gets into that email address and changes my facebook password. So, I guess there could be nudes of a young me out there, for realz. :/", "summary": "Someone got onto my facebook through an email I never use. I forgot how to spell that email address and the password. Last thing I did on it was send all these underage nude photos of myself too it."} {"id": "t3_40ikys", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Can Stopping Flonase Cause Anxiety?", "post": "I've had horrible anxiety the last two days, coincidentally at the same time I stopped taking Flonase for a few days, has anyone had an issue with Flonase withdrawal after stopping taking it?\n\nI've taken it for about a year and a half and it's worked pretty well but I stopped taking it 2 days ago because I'm concerned about the number of steroids I take for things like leaky gut, thyroid etc. I have Hashimoto's so that the reason why I'm concerned here.\n\nDetails on the anxiety - last night, after a pretty low stress day, I started feeling very upset out of the blue. When I went to bed I had insomnia, but quickly got very panicky feeling and started shaking. My feet started tingling and I eventually started crying hysterically. It lasted almost all night (I got about 2-3 hours sleep) and felt better in the morning, but it resumed again this morning to a lesser degree.\n\nI have an appointment with my endocrinologist tomorrow morning to discuss my thyroid but curious if the Flonase might have something to do with it. \n\nI've done some digging w/ Google and see a lot of people have issues with using Flonase but not finding much about people who suddenly stop taking it having an issue.\n\n* Age - 37\n* Sex - M\n* Height - 6'3\" \n* Weight - 250\n* Race - W\n* Duration of complaint - 2 days\n* Location (Geographic and on body) - NY / All over my body", "summary": "I see a lot of people have anxiety issues taking Flonase, but I never did until I stopped. Curious if there are withdrawal effects from it?"} {"id": "t3_2mchjf", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by causing my high school to be shut down", "post": "Story time:\nMe and my buddy were in our graduating year, and had just finished our last exam for the year. We are walking by the av room when out of nowhere , I get an extravagent idea. Let's fuck up ms . Davis's classroom!(she was the cunt drama teacher who hated me personally) so we go in, he roots through her desk and throws shit around the room. While he is causing a rukus I grab the fire extinguisher and go to the top of the stairs, running down to the lower floor spraying the hydrant franticly around the room. I set it down and we peace out and go downstairs. Out of nowhere the fire alarms go of. Yup, the shit went in the vents and set of the alarms, thus causing everyone to evacuate. 3 fire trucks showed up and exams for the remainder of the day were cancelled. Turns out we had a bunch of that white shit in our backs. A teacher saw as we were leaving. And decided to call the cops. They came to my house and took us to the station. We were charged with mischef. And yes this really happened", "summary": "fucked up by spraying fire extinguisher causing fire alarm to go off, causing exams to be cancelled . Got charged for mischef . All because of my cunt drama teacher"} {"id": "t3_2nbi90", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Anxiety Attacks?", "post": "I am a 19 year old male and have been experiencing what I can only call anxiety attacks. It first occurred this past summer when I was with a group of my friend's friends. I didn't know them very well so I was a little shy. We all went into one of the guys dorm rooms to drink and I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. It further escalated into me feeling, chills, nausea and light headed. This surprised me and I figured it was something I ate or the alcohol but it had never happened before. A couple weeks later it happened when I was on a date. We had been out before and it was our third time out. Suddenly whilst eating I got the same feeling in my stomach! I excused my self and went to the bathroom which then AGAIN escalated into the same nauseous panic attack. Now I was really confused because later on I couldn't think what had happened or why it happened. Then it happened today. Out of no where. I was with my best friend getting a burger and as he was bringing the tray over I felt the same feeling come through my body! It escalated exactly the same why and then subsided the same way. It's happened a few other odd times without such strong symptoms but definitely the same problem. I'm asking anyone how and why they think this may be happening to me. I've never felt nervous around new people or been socially awkward. I'd actually consider my self an outgoing person. The main issue with this seems to be with food. As it seems to happen mostly when I am eating or about to eat and causes an immediate loss of appetite. I've tried taking my mind of it or trying to calm myself down (deep breathing, relaxing etc.) but nothing seems to work. It almost feels like I have to go through the whole episode before I can return to normal. I can't pin point what might trigger this as I thought it may be around new people or places I am uncomfortable but it happened with my best friend who I am very comfortable with. Any advice or links to what this might be would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "What I guess is an anxiety attack makes me feel sick to my stomach and light headed usually in situations where food is involved."} {"id": "t3_1izi8s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (21/M) tell my girlfriend that she's (21/F) being a downer?", "post": "Length of relationship: 3 years\n\nMy girlfriend hasn't always been like this. She has always had a bit of a problem with depression, anxiety and stress, but lately its becoming an every day thing. Everyone else is doing something to piss her off, she's always making the wrong decisions and fucking this up, things like that. She has also been pretty stressed out about transferring schools, and makes comments nearly daily about how she's just going to drop out of school. \n\nI try to console her as much as possible, but no matter what I say she generally doesn't listen to my advice and continues on with her tirade about her life sucks and how she should \"just move away from this life and start a new one.\" I gotta be honest, it's pretty tiring hearing how horrible her life is, and it's starting to become a pretty big turnoff. She is also seeing a therapist who has said she needs more therapy. \n\nMy question is, how do I talk to my girlfriend about this in a way she will listen?", "summary": "Girlfriend has been complaining about her life and she's been taking me down with her. How do I talk to her about it?"} {"id": "t3_23me7l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my boyfriend [25 M] together for four years, he's about to propose but I just told him I wanted to break up. Just cold feet, or should I be gone for good?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, and that whole time it's seemed like we have a near-perfect relationship - we're best friends who are in love, we can talk to each other about anything, we resolve arguments reasonably and there's no jealousy issues. And for my boyfriend's part, he's a great guy - he motivates me and believes in me, makes me laugh, is ambitious and talented, and I'm certain he would do everything to take care of me and not hurt me. But I just broke up with him, and I'm not sure what's right anymore.\n\nWe're in the process of closing on a house in both our names - closing is next week. I know he's planning to propose within that time period.\n \nSo a few days ago, I was talking with him hypothetically about how things would be different if we weren't together, and that sometimes I wonder about other possibilities. He got all serious and asked me, 'you've brought this up a few times in the last month and a half - do you want to break up?' My initial reaction was no, of course not - but it's bred this doubt in me that wouldn't go away. I have so many friends that dated guys for a long time and then broke up with them because they were 'curious.' And I haven't dated many other guys besides my boyfriend. I've told him before that I wish we'd gotten this serious maybe a year or two from now. And this morning, I had this heavy feeling in my stomach, and convinced myself that I didn't love him 'the right way,' or at least as much as he loves me. So I broke up with him.\n\nI know I'm in love with him, and we're best friends too. So why can't I escape the thought that he might not be 'the one'? Everything would be so perfect if only I could expel this doubt. And as much as I've tried to deny it, it's been there a long time - though it was so small and easily pushed aside until our conversation the other day.", "summary": "He's completely ready to commit, but I freaked out and dumped him - cold feet, or should I leave him based on a 'feeling'?"} {"id": "t3_2soe8p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Relationships [18 M] Poured heart out to ex [18 F] got rejected", "post": "I dated a girl in highschool for 2 years but during those years I got kicked out of my house moved in with my sister and basically dropped out of school. When we started dating I would go to her house and stay till 4 in the morning and walk across town home but as I got kicked out and moved in with my sister I became more distanced and would ask her to come to my place. She would come willingly because she loved me but I barely went to her place after I moved and whenever she was over I would spend most of the time on the computer and she would wanna do things but I was too lazy. In the end I broke up with her because I thought I was happier without her its been about 3 months since then but we would text often and now I want to change my mistakes and get her back so last night I poured my heart out to her and she seemed unaffected by it and wanted me to stop because she's seeing someone but as far as she told me they're not even dating. Is there anything I can do or did I lose her forever? Sorry first real post and I hated English class", "summary": "Dated a girl for 2 years broke up because I thought I was happy without her just to understand how much she did for me and nothing in return poured heart out to her and she rejected it."} {"id": "t3_4bpwx9", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By Leaving My Laptop On The Ground", "post": "I'm a big gamer and was staying at my girlfriends house which i rarely do due to distance and we are currently both sick right now, so i brought my laptop to her house so i can play this game i just got, black desert and watch movies/twitch streams.\n\nI put my laptop on the ground near her tv with an hdmi cable in it to her tv, using a wireless mouse to navigate the internet, little did i expect what was to come.\n\nI fell asleep around 10pm due to my sickness which is early to me, and awoke around 8am to a glug glug noise coming from the wall, as i was laying there i was thinking to myself that i didn't know there was a hot water cylinder in her wardrobe, i looked over and see the room is ankle deep in water, and my laptop screen poking out of the water like [this.](\n\nNeedless to say, i do not think my laptop will work anymore, and if anybody is wondering my gf's stuff is fine, everything in her room happened to be above the zone of destruction, luckily for her.", "summary": "Left laptop on the ground at my gf's house, woke up in morning to a flooded house and a drowning laptop"} {"id": "t3_3jvfv7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [F 25] recently divorced, getting into hooking up/dating. So confused!", "post": "After 5.5 years of marriage and being cheated on, we finally finalized the divorce and I moved away. He is literally my entire adult existence. We began dating shortly before I turned 19, got married after shorlty after. He began cheating on me about half way through the marriage, but I felt stuck and like I had no where to go (plus, being in college, I couldn't afford to break any leases or move out).\n\nI am now in a new city and have been going out and making friends. I had my first \"hook up\" type thing Friday night. We didn't have sex because I am definitely not ready for that. I let him know I don't want anything serious, he is cool with it. \n\nProblem: I actually really like his friend. Both the hookup and his friend gave me their numbers and expressed interest (at separate times), but the friend is out of town for the week. \n\nHow do I go about this? Can I just be casual with both? How do I have a hook up? I don't know what the pot hook up protocol is. And the hook up seems to be mildly clingy.", "summary": "Recently divorced and new to \"hooking up\" and dating. I don't know how to do this. Help."} {"id": "t3_1no26q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (20M) is by definition, a pothead. I (20f) am not. Am I overreacting?", "post": "We have been dating for 8 months. We have a pretty good relationship. No real arguments until now. \nLets start out by saying im not against pot. I do not know why im having such an issue with this so bare with me kind of long explanation.\n\nMy boyfriend, about a month ago crashed my car. He wasnt high, I was with him. So we decided to pay for a new car together and call it ours. I was fine with that. I told him all I care about is him not having weed in the car or drive high. The reason id because the car is under my nsme. He agreed. Everytime he takes the car I remind him not to have weed in the car. Keep in mind, we've had the car less than a week now.\n\nNow he keeps getting mad I keep reminding him. I told him why I keep reminding him . A while ago I asked him not to smoke one day because for 2 whole weeks whenever I saw him, he would be high. He was incredibly high when I saw him. To me that was him choosing weed over me. I had explained to him why I asked him that and explained why I was upset.\n\nNow I do not know if I am being over bearing. But most times I do not see him rejecting a high. Ive had to wait for him for about an hour while he got high with his friends after work even though we can only see eachother after work. He has 2 jobs. I have a fulltime job and go to school. To me thats choosing weed but he doesnt think so. Now he gets mad because according to him im jumping to conclusions because of one mistake.\n\nSo I need to know, am I being irrational? Tell me the honest harsh truth.\nSorry I typed this on my phone.", "summary": "I think boyfriend chooses weed over me. He gets mad because keep telling him not to smoke in the car, he gets mad. We cannot see eye to eye. Am I overacting or is playing victim?"} {"id": "t3_2pr78p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it normal to completely lose attraction to someone after you've had sex with them?! (25/m, 23/f)", "post": "I'm a 23/f and am not at all interested in a relationship at after getting out of a LTR a few months ago. I met Sam (25/m) through mutual friends. He is actually my best friend's boyfriend's best friend, so he's closely enmeshed in my social group and we see each other a lot when hanging with mutual friends. \n\nAfter a night out drinking, Sam and I started talking more and realized we had a lot in common and exchanged numbers. We have been texting back and forth together every day for a while and I really enjoy talking to him.\n\nHe kissed me after a night out with mutual friends a few weeks ago and things have escalated from there. I'm not not attracted to him, but he's I'm not exactly super into him, either, so after not having sex since my last relationship, I went with it. I should say here that I have never had sex outside a relationship, so I didn't know if this feeling of being sort of disconnected was just the lack of emotional connection.\n\nLong story short, we had sex. It was awkward and horrible and I seriously regret it. Since then, though, it seems like I'm disgusted by him. The thought of even kissing him seems gross. Beyond that, even, when we're talking, it seems like everything he does annoys or infuriates me. It's like I don't even remotely feel mentally or physically attracted to him at all anymore. I have no idea what happened, but he's been getting really upset, saying he feels gross because less than a week after I sleep with him, I want nothing to do with him. It's making things even more awkward.\n\n How do I handle the extreme awkwardness of this situation now?", "summary": "I [23/f] have never had casual sex - casually had sex with a friend of mine and now I can't stand the sight of him and everything he does annoys me. How do I handle this?"} {"id": "t3_27ezts", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 /F] with my boyfriend [28 /M] 1 year, wondering if I'm in the wrong for being uncomfortable with his relationship with ex", "post": "We've been together for close to a year now, living together for a couple of months. Most everything is pretty great, we're very compatible and I want nothing more than to make this relationship work out.\n\nA little while ago, we had an issue where I found out he was planning on meeting up with his ex girlfriend when she came to town. He didn't end up doing it, but from what he said, it's only because she was in a different area and he wouldn't be able to do it without me finding out. We reconciled and moved past it, but he lost a bit of my trust in that. \n\nHe's always kept up casual communication with several of his exes, and it wasn't a big deal. But I started feeling a little suspicious, and I ended up going through his stuff. I know, I know, that's a breach of privacy and whatnot, but he still hadn't regained my trust back. I found out he'd been having extensive conversations with a different ex of his, and a lot of the conversation consisted of talking about how they missed each other and were thinking about each other, and she's been trying to get him to hang out with her (he doesn't because he knows I'd find out), and that made me pretty uncomfortable. It's obvious she still has strong feelings for him, I'm not sure about his feelings for her. I tried to get over it, but then I found out he was deleting all of those conversations when he got a chance. Now I know he's still talking to her regularly (when he's at work), but I don't know what they're saying. \n\nI've decided it's time to actually talk to him about it, because it's really starting to bug me. \n\nI just need to see some outside opinions on whether his behavior is okay or not, and if I should just get over it. I love him and I'm happy with him otherwise, and want to do whatever I need to make this work.", "summary": "Boyfriend's relationship with ex who still has feelings for him makes me uncomfortable, am I in the wrong to be upset?"} {"id": "t3_1koxhp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "very nervous 17M - need some advice on how to build up to a relationship", "post": "I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I was looking for some help. Essentially, I was on a school trip recently, and started talking to someone from my class I'd barely spoken to before on the last day. \n\nWe ended up waiting a while in the airport so I spent a good few hours talking to her, and it turns out I like her quite a lot. She laughed at a lot of my jokes, we talked a lot, and she hugged me at the end of the trip; I wanted to follow it up, but I got nervous and she ended up going on a four week holiday.\n\nSo now she's back, and I spoke to her the other day; i think she finds me quite funny, but I'm really not that much of a looker, and I'm incredibly shy (I tend to be a pretty anxious person, although I'm fairly certain it's nothing as serious as SA). It's worth noting (as you've probably been able to tell) I've never been in a relationship before. \n\nBasically, I wanted some advice on how to work up to asking her out, and what I should do when I actually do. How does one move from casually talking to someone to relationshipping? This is all new to me and I'm very scared of fucking it up, especially because I think I might have a shot. Any help would be really appreciated - thanks!", "summary": "talked to a girl on a trip, found out I like her. She's just got back off a long holiday, and I need to know how to build up to asking her out."} {"id": "t3_1o5zar", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 M] am in love with my best friend's lover [21 F], help me!!!", "post": "My best friend and her have been on and off for the last 18 months. I have had feelings for her since I first met her, but could never act on it as they were together during that time. One week they are together, the next they're not.\n\nDuring the previous summer, when everybody was home from Uni, she invited me stay at her family home and then confessed that she has feelings for me too. For the next month we might as well have been a married couple!! It was the happiest time of my life and I'm pretty sure she was happy too.\n\nBut since we've been back to Uni, she claims to have broken up with my friend. But she spends more time with him and judging from my friend's reaction (no one in our group of friends have any idea what happened) he clearly thinks they are still together.\n\nI'm pretty sure they are still sleeping together, even if they are not \"a couple\". I confronted her about this, but she tells me to stop talking about it. Only last week, we spend an amazing couple of hours together and I'm nearly 100% sure she feels the same way about me.\n\nI'm just scared she's going to tell me one day, that we were a mistake, and that she is going to give it another go with my friend. Am I being a crazy paranoid controll freak? Or the scumbag who slept with his best friend's gf? There is no one in the world that I care more about than her, and this whole situation had made me loss weight, become a recluse and downright depressive.\n\nI just hope the reddit community can help in whatever way possible.", "summary": "Slept with my friend's gf, madly in love with her, but I'm scared she's screwing me over"} {"id": "t3_2iehfn", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU that makes me lock every bathroom I go into (Ft. My grandma)", "post": "Years ago, I was 13. A little weird and it was known that I jerked off by my mom and grandmother (at least).\n\nI went to the bathroom and had to poop. I've always had pretty long arms for my short stature so I when I sat on the toilet, I'd reach anything within my wingspan and read it (especially since I had a pretty low level phone and no contacts that wanted to talk to me). I'd usually go to read things with hard names to see if I could pronounce the ingredients. Toothpaste. Medicine. Rubbing alcohol bottles. Anything. \n\nThe only thing in my reach was the original scent, huge bottle of Jergen's lotion right by the sink. I read down the bottle. The company's claim to making smooth skin a priority. With the bottle in my hand and jeans around my ankles, I hear the bathroom doorknob twist.\n\nMy 72 year old grandmother opens the door and sees me. I looked back at her like nothing was wrong, looked back at the lotion bottle and turned back to see the horror on her face. \n\n\"Nana, it's not what you...\"\nHer black, Georgia accent cut me off.\n\"I know what you were doing.\" And then she left.\n\nI finished using the bathroom and got out of the bathroom 2 minutes later. I went to her and tried my hardest to explain what she saw. After that, I can't go in a bathroom, even if it's to brush my teeth, without locking the door.", "summary": "I was reading a bottle of lotion while pooping and my grandmother walked in and to this day, believes I was jerking off"} {"id": "t3_fyshp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Help me think of 8-5 minute workouts I could do in an office.", "post": "Hey reddit, my coworkers and I have a deal going on to see who can lose the most weight. 1 got on the adkins diet and the other was a long distance runner so he is going to run 4 mi a day. I plan on losing my weight by limiting myself to 2,000 calories and doing 8 5 minute workouts everyday. On my days off I plan on working on cardio but at work I thought, what the heck. Why not use the downtime to trim my belly.\n\nAll I could think about doing is push-ups and sit-ups. And trust me I dont want a lecture on why doing 100 push ups a day would be a bad idea, so help me mix it up a bit. \n\nI will dedicate 5 minutes of every work hour to do each set.", "summary": "I need 8-5 minute workout ideas to do in an office space environment. Push ups and Sit ups is all I got so far."} {"id": "t3_ipkqj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Blu-Ray recorder in another region", "post": "Hi Reddit!,\n\nI have a Blu-Ray HDD recorded that I have purchased here in Japan, and am wondering what the chances of it working in Australia would be? [here is the model for those interested (all in Japanese)](\n\nI understand that as a DVD/Blu-Ray player, it should be fine, as it is compatible with both PAL and NTSC discs, and unlocking it won't be an issue anyway I wouldn't assume. The problem I am expecting to face is whether or not it will be able to successfully pickup the 'TV guide' (free to air only) in Australia to allow recording at specific times. I am sure the tuner inside the device would be NTSC, as it is a Japanese domestic product, however I have been reading that if you connect it straight to the TV via RCA cables, this may get around the problem.\n\nA little background on the TV it will be connected to - it is a HD plasma TV, and the signals for the TV are received from an antenna in the roof directly to it (we do not have cable TV at the house in Australia).\n\nI am sure I have left something out, so if I did, please let me know.", "summary": "Will I be able to use the Blu-Ray HDD recorder I bought in Japan to record and watch TV shows in Australia."} {"id": "t3_2nc1ps", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [F/21] boyfriend's [M/20] parents don't like me because I come from a \"broken home\". What do I say to them?", "post": "I have been dating my boyfriend for about a month now. His parents are very over protective, he is their first born and I am his first relationship so they are also adjusting to all these new changes.\n\nAbout a week ago his mother asked him to tell her about my family. I think she was trying to grab at straws in an attempt to find something she likes about me. He briefly told how my parents are divorced, my mother does not work and I live with neither of them when not in school. Apparently this did not sit well with her and concerned her. As he put it.\n\nI'm so upset because my parents marital status and my past home life is something I cannot control and yet am being judged for. I just want her to like me.\n\nIn the next few months I will be visiting his family for the first time. What should I say if they ask about my home life or what my mother does? In all actuality, my mother and I woke up one morning to my father leaving. After that she was over taken by depression, turning to alcohol and hard drugs, quit her job and now relies on welfare, food stamps and alimony. I moved out when I was 15 because it was not a good environment for me. I am since in college but over the breaks live with a family friend who was nice enough to rent a room to me. But..I don't really want to tell this to his family. What should I say if they ask me questions? What if they ask how my mother is supporting herself?", "summary": "My [F/21] boyfriend's [M/20] parents don't like me because I come from a \"broken home\". What do I say to them?"} {"id": "t3_1b26c0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Do we really need to TALK about it?(M27,F22)", "post": "So after being together for almost 3 years, we broke up.. for one main reason which was that I hadn't been working in a while. We continued living together while I searched for a job. After a couple of weeks we slowly started getting close, sitting closer on the couch and sleeping together again. Now I've been working a full time job, we have been going out to do fun things together, and we've been closer than ever. He holds me on the couch and I get kisses before bed and before work and everything is excellent. We are looking for a new apartment together in April, and we are very happy. Only difference is we dont say I love you.\n\nI remembered telling him when we broke up and were kinda working on things, that I wanted to have a real good talk once I was working and stuff, about fixing things.. But it feels fixed. In my heart, I feel like hes back. Everything feels like it used too..\n\nSo really, do we even need to have a talk? Or can these things kinda resolve themselves after the problem is solved, which it is.", "summary": "Broke up because I wasn't working, I am working FT and we are back to normal, do we NEED to have a talk? Or can I assume the best?"} {"id": "t3_3vcu83", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU from being tired while on a crowded bus", "post": "So I had got onto a bus at around 5:00 pm. I had gotten no sleep the night before and had to do overtime for work, so I was dead tired. At last I was going home on the bus, but to my luck there were no seats. Oh boy. So I'm standing while holding onto one of the poles, then my tired body said fuck this, and soon enough i was sleeping. I wake up with myself dropping low, still hanging on to the pole like I'm a stripper. Everyone on the bus is looking at me like I'm crazy. I hear a little girl(who pretty much had front row seats) say mommy look at the man. I tried so hard to hide my embarrassment, i just closed my eyes and hoped the bus ride would be short, i wish. I did it again. Dropped my ass down low like i was desperate for dollar bills. This happened for 30 minutes, each drop happened every 3 minutes. I regret not sleeping.", "summary": "Was tired. Got on a crowded bus with no seats. Fell asleep standing up. Kept waking up dropping down low on the ground like a stripper"} {"id": "t3_3ivodk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "me [26m] and new friend [23f], just want to be friends, don't want to lead her on. what should i do/say?", "post": "I am currently going through a separation with my gf of 5 years. We are both unsure of things, but have talked here and there and there is a possibility of us getting back together. This was a mutual split and the story behind this is much too long and somewhat unrelated.\n\nNow, 4 or so weeks after my ex and I separated, I met someone else - Jen. Jen and I have hung out a few times, but I consider her only a friend. We have similar senses of humor. We talked for awhile and I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime- she said yes. We haven't done anything fancy, just watch tv and whatnot. I mostly just need friends which is why I approached her in the first place. I'm getting the impression that she thinks I am looking to be more than friends despite the fact we haven't been physical and I don't say flirtatious comments to her. I hate to have to tell this girl that I am not looking for someone like that because MAYBE she isn't either, which might be awkward.\n\nAny suggestions? I like hanging out with her, but there isn't attraction (at least on my end). What can I say to her to just make sure that, before we continue hanging out, she knows my intentions?", "summary": "new girl I'm hanging out with, I just want to stay friends and I want to make sure she knows this, what do?"} {"id": "t3_17edgb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (M25) deal with all of my friends (M/F, 20-25) unilaterally doubting the wisdom of liking a girl (F20) I've been best friends with for months?", "post": "Known her for about a year and a half now, asked her out once a year ago, gotten much better friends recently.\n\nI trust my friends and appreciate their viewpoints and opinions and I'm just worried sick that ill make a huge mistake. My friendship with her is completely different than any if them, guys and girls-- I identify with her nearly 100% and feel like she \"gets\" me more than anyone else on the deeper, important things in life. I'm on the same page with my friends, but I feel like I'm coming from the same place as this girl.\n\nBut we spend 99% of our time laughing and goofing off together, and the serious stuff just weaves itself in naturally and seamlessly and I freaking like it. I can. Not. Feel stressed around her. She's crazy, but she's the exact kind of crazy I am and it is like a breath of fresh air, and I love it.\n\nThings that I think are funny that my friends never have, but I guess they think I'm just laughing with her because she is completely smoking cute.\n\nSo I feel like she represents a whole side of my personality I've never known anyone else to represent.\n\nI'm just friends with this girl, but this is what's been holding me back from trying anything at all. I am willing to just go for it despite my friends' wishes-- they've specifically said they would trust me but be secretly relieved if it didn't work out.\n\nMy therapist says that's what's most important-- that I'm comfortable. I agree-- I can be happy independent of them, but should I even want to try to bring them around and explain to them how I feel about it all? But I feel so apprehensive, like I'm leaving my friends (who I love and respect!) behind and kind of giving them the vibe that I don't care about them. I do, but there's nothing they might not like about this girl that I don't see as one of my own main problems anyway. They're hardly deal breakers for me.", "summary": "Am I making a stupid decision? Should I just respectfully ignore my friends' advice? Should I stay in the middle of the spectrum forever?"} {"id": "t3_2r9kp6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [24 M] interested in a painfully shy woman [20 F] and don't know what to do", "post": "Hey everyone!\n\nLast summer, I buddied up with her because she looked like she needed friends, but now that I'm interested, it's weird. The group is also awkward, with lots of gossip. I'm the only single guy who will directly go up to girls or try to talk to everyone.\n\nShe gives lots of negative signs when I talk to her. Sometimes she starts out excited to talk and then shies away, but she usually gives a quick response and leaves. **I tried texting a couple times, but she responded immediately with short, conversation-killing messages.** This week, I invited her to a small group thing (us + another couple she's comfortable with + maybe more from the group) and she just said, \"I can't, sorry.\" and left. There's more, but it's all like this.\n\n**However, she told me that she could be extroverted with close friends, but took forever to open up to people due to horrible social anxiety.** She positions herself in \"talking range\" of me and watches me a lot, in an increasingly jumpy way. If I say something in a group or take my phone out, she'll jump, look at me, and then quickly stare off into space. Sometimes if I go up to people near her and her girlfriends, as soon as I arrive, she'll turn and step out towards me, and then snap back.\n\nI have more examples, but they're similar. How can I get to know her better? Is she even interested?\n\nThanks!", "summary": "Unsure how to talk to a shy woman, as she doesn't seem to want to talk/text, but watches me a lot."} {"id": "t3_kt1nv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "RFID Questions for a newb.", "post": "Hi all,\n\nVery very new to the whole RFID thing. I have an idea for a new application for RFID technology in the field of Visual Effects for feature film. I was hoping anyone would be willing to answer a couple of small (probably simple) questions.\n\nTo begin, I will explain the problem. One major part of the visual effects industry is the digital recreation of the movement of a camera. For any particular shot that an artist is working on, they are usually given a digital representation of the camera move in 3d space (this includes rotation, translation, etc.). There are specific pieces of software that analyze the movement of objects in a particular shot, and using some spacial calculations, extrapolates a \"camera solve\" that closely replicates the way the camera moved when the shot was actually captured. The problem is, these softwares and camera solves can be very difficult, time consuming, and not always totally accurate.\n\nWhat I am trying to do is develop a system that can be applied to any camera on set to automatically record the camera's movements, giving a 100% accurate representation of that movement (much like motion capture technology).\n\nThe reason I cannot use motion capture technology to solve this problem is that the equipment and setup required is rather bulky, which is something I want to avoid.\n\nMy question is: could I use an RFID tag with a series of receivers to triangulate the position of a camera in real time? The triangulation would have to be extremely accurate (less than an inch error).\n\nIf yes, how would I go about setting up this system?\n\nOnce the data is collected, how would that be transfered into usable digital data?\n\nThanks in advanced for any help!", "summary": "can I use an RFID tag and a few receivers to triangulate the exact position of that tag in real time? How?"} {"id": "t3_1s05s4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [30M] husband doesn't want to participate in Christmas with my [27F] family because it makes him uncomfortable, and I'm annoyed", "post": "My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years now and he's spent multiple Christmases with my family. He did not grow up celebrating Christmas (he was raised Jewish) and is now Atheist so he feels like he should be able to opt out of participating with my family. Let me be clear that my family is not religious by any means. We do not go to church and Christmas for us is about spending time with each other as a family and eating good food. The most religious thing that goes on is my mom puts out a small nativity scene that has been in her family for years. \n\nI asked my husband when he would like to go with my mom and brothers to look for our Christmas tree. He told me he doesn't want to come and I asked him if he meant tonight or in general and he said in general. He said he really doesn't see the big deal about him opting out of the Holiday all together. Meaning that he won't be with us when we eat our traditional Christmas Eve and Christmas meal. He doesn't see why I could be upset about this, but for me it is something we have to go through every year and I wish he would just be an adult, suck it up, and deal with it. There are plenty of times we do things we aren't thrilled about just to make the other person happy and I feel this should be one of those times. \n\nAm I completely in the wrong?", "summary": "husband doesnt want to do Christmas with my family because it offends him, I think he should suck it up and participate since it's 1 day. Am I crazy?"} {"id": "t3_u3dh3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am so confused.", "post": "So, tomorrow I am going in a group of 20 people(all high school kids, male and female- I am a 15 year old female) to Disneyland. My boyfriend (male 14) found out a few days ago he needs a ride there, & there were three possible car choices for him to pick from-mine, his friend's(male 15) , and our other friend's(female 15). \n\nToday I told him he HAD to make his decision or else he would have no ride, and in the end he decided on picking to go in the car of my friend(the 15 year old female) that I honestly don't consider as a friend at all, but I have to tolerate. The reason he decided this is because it would be \"too awkward\" to go in my car.\n\nI'm trying to talk to him about it and explain to him why I don't like our \"friend\"-who absolutely despises me and tries to make my life miserable, but he doesn't seem to understand. I have no idea how to react to this and I feel a little betrayed and really hurt that he'd rather be with someone I dislike than with the person he cares about. If anyone has a way to cheer me up or any advice, that'd be great. I don't understand any of this.", "summary": "My boyfriend made a decision that went against me and I feel hurt. I have no idea how to feel about this."} {"id": "t3_38gjkv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it possible that she [F20] has real feelings for me [M20] or is she just showing her appreciation for my heroism?", "post": "This girl and I have been good friends for about 2 years now. She has been in a relationship pretty much the whole time I've known her. A couple of months ago there was a lull where she broke up with her ex and had been single for a month or so. So about 2 months ago, I told her how I felt. She said she didn't feel the same way without hesitation.\n\n5 days ago I went over to her apartment and when I was outside her door I could hear arguing. I have my own key, and I was worried so I just walked in. Long story short: her ex was hitting her, we fought and he left.\n\nAfter it happened I felt really sick and ended up going to the hospital. One of my kidneys was pretty badly damaged, so I've had to stay at the hospital for monitoring, just in case I needed emergency surgery. Anyway, ever since I've been here she's been visiting me a lot. She keeps saying that I \"saved her life.\" We had sex the night after it happened, and we've kissed a lot. She keeps cuddling with me, which is amazing.\n\nBut my question is, could these be real feelings on her part? I am in love with her, that hasn't changed. But I don't want to get hurt.", "summary": "Is it possible that she [F20] has real feelings for me [M20] or is she just showing her appreciation for my heroism?"} {"id": "t3_3u7lsy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (19F) friend (19F) played a cruel 'prank' on me and someone else", "post": "My friend Bethany (not actual name) was texting an acquaintance of ours. I see him frequently around the college campus and we occasionally talk but that's the extent of our interactions. \n\nAnyway, she told me that he confessed that he likes me. I didn't know this so it was a surprise. She then told me that she thought it was funny to say that I coincidentally had a \"surprise date\" planned for Friday night. That's a lie. I don't have feelings for him and didn't plan anything. \n\nShe told me he was excited and asked her lots of questions. This isn't even my fault and I feel so awful! I got pissed at her for putting me in this situation. She said that it's just a harmless prank and that he's stupid for believing her. She gave him my number and he's been texting me ever since. \n\nWhat the hell do I do? How can I tell him that I have NOTHING planned for Friday and my friend just pranked him? I am seriously contemplating whether I should play along and actually go on a date with him. I just feel so bad for him :(", "summary": "My friend told a guy that I planned on going on a date with him. I never planned anything at all. How do I get out of this situation without completely crushing him?"} {"id": "t3_13jywe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ex contacting dilemma", "post": "I (23/f) left my first love (same age) when I was 19. It was long distance, we were both co-dependent and not trusting of each other. I think in the end we were both smothering each other. But i broke it off two years in. First kiss, first sex first everything. I never gave him closure.\n\nFast forward and I have been in a wonderful relationship for almost two years. I couldn't be happier. The problem is, and I know this sounds strange, but I keep having dreams (that do not correspond to any feelings in my normal life) in which I meet and have conversations and make amends with my first love - maybe like 3 times a week for the past couple months.\n\nDo I ignore these dreams? With knowing that a \"fuck off\" or no response might occur should I reach out to my ex On positive terms? Not for a fuck, or a mind fuck or anything similar. Just to make amends. Or am I crazy?", "summary": "am in a committed relationship, having intense dreams of ex- should i contact to make amends (regardless of outcome) to an ex that I gave no closure."} {"id": "t3_gvatd", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What would you do Reddit?", "post": "So this is quite possibly the most convoluted situation I have ever found myself in. I recently discovered that my partner has a secret online persona which they use to engage in online relationships. These range from innocuous to cybersexual/planning to meet. My partner claims this is all innocent and simply a means of escape, I however feel deeply hurt. My partner feels betrayed as well because a mutual friend sent me the screen shots of the aforementioned evidence. This I agree was a violation on their part of his trust. However I feel like there was a much deeper violation of my trust when for the entirety of our relationship this has been occurring. I don't want to lose my best friend if this is something I should view as innocent but I also don't want to play the victim again.", "summary": "My partner has been carrying on relationships of varying degrees online for our entire relationship. Would you leave someone for cheating online?"} {"id": "t3_yct9m", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I [17] recently broke up with my girlfriend [17] of a year and a half. Why do I feel so terrible?", "post": "I broke up with my girlfriend a few days ago and at the time, I didn't feel better or worse. The next day however, I felt completely terrible and sad. Basically everyday is an on or off situation, being that I am either entirely saddened by me ending it, or I am relieved that I did. For the times that I am sad, all I can remember of her is the good times we shared and how much we knew each other, but the reason I ended the relationship is because she had some anger issues and would cause unnecessary fights and other problems that i just couldn't deal with. If she ever got angry, not related to me in whatever aspect, she would take it out on me. I would do nothing to instigate it, but it would still happen. So my question to you, Reddit, is why do I feel so sad about ending it, even though it is what I wanted, and what can I do to make the pain go away?", "summary": "I ended the relationship with girlfriend of 1.5 years because of her anger issues, yet I feel sad I did. Why do I feel this way and What can I do to stop the grief?"} {"id": "t3_228zav", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 f ], boyfriend [33 m] approx 1 year, just found out his dad has stage four cancer. Mother lost to cancer in 2012. I feel sick. How can I best support him?", "post": "It's stage four prostate cancer. He lost his mother suddenly in 2012 and is still having a pretty hard time with it, especially when he drinks - his favorite coping mechanism. I seriously feel like throwing up, this is going to hit him so hard. I'm currently at work and will see him for he first time since he found out tonight after bar time when I get done. \n\nI'm so worried he will cope by drinking excessively, or worse, getting in his car after. His other favorite thing to do is shut me out. He is absolutely terrible about expressing emotions. Again, they tend to come out when he's drunk, and negatively, especially with me. I think because I'm the first woman who's been close to him since his mother died. \n\nEither way I cannot relate to this at all, thankfully my family is all healthy. I'm just trying to figure out how to support him. Talk to him? Wait for him to talk to me? If I wait he might never talk to me about it. I'm heartbroken for him and don't know what to do. Any advice would be helpful.", "summary": "boyfriend just found out his father has stage four prostate cancer. He is still grieving from losing his mother to cancer in 2012 and copes with alcohol and tends to shut me out about stuff like this."} {"id": "t3_o8ine", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "In serious need of help!!-Minni Aussie Shepard", "post": "I am at my wits end... I don't know what to do.. I have asked vets, consulted manuals but I am at a loss.. \n\nHere is the short of it.. My Mini Aussie Shepard 7/10 times Pees whenever I enter the room/pet him/give him a treat. and I don't think it's out of excitement... It's like eh knows he is doing something wrong and gets very upset about it because when it does happen he sulks his head and just starts kicking/scratching his ear kind of like a nervous twitch.. I take him out every 3-4 hours.. Very regularly and he eliminates every time.. Besides my house getting destroyed and smelling like urine he seams to be generally depressed and it's really upsetting me..\n\nMy g/f is more often home with him.. she is a Grad student and works from home where I work IT 30-miles away.. I bring him with me to the office sometimes though..and I try and play.. train him.. but he always just starts peeing.. and sometimes he will run a way while peeing leaving a dotted trail... I took him to the vet.. I was afraid of a bladder issue/ Diabetes... After a full work up/blood work.. Clean bill of health.. they say the breeder's son (who was male) might not of been so \"Friendly\" to him.. and now hes generally not trusting of males.. Is there any advice/any one know what may be the cause?", "summary": "Mini Aussie pees every time I do anything with him and generally looks very upset/depressed when it's just me and him and I don't know what to do. "} {"id": "t3_3m68d3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (21f) boyfriend (20m) of 2 years forgets to spend time with me. (Gaming)", "post": "So here is the predicament, my bf and I are both obsessed with the same video game (Destiny) and during the summer we pretty much worked, gamed, eat, and slept...kinda. But now school is back in and I am starting my way to nursing school. Along with the start of school came the new DLC for the game. I have been buried in homework and that has obviously stunted my progress in the game and here is the problem. Normally getting home means turning on the consoles and gaming together but he is pretty advanced (he reached the level cap within 5 days) and I cannot keep up. This means that he goes off with his buddies and I don't exist if I'm not in the same game world/chat. I offer to maybe go out to eat, catch a movie or something but he is obsessed with completing new parts of the game. What should I do? He games every second he is at home. My homework keeps me busy sometimes 3-4 hours a night and after I don't always want to sit down for another 2 before I go to bed. What should I do and how should I go about it? It's a touchy subject, he's a super gamer and I am a casual.", "summary": "My bf ignores me even when we are playing the same video game because he is more advanced. My studies are more important to me than playing video games. I miss spending time and talking to him."} {"id": "t3_1zuq9x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17F] wanting to get over feelings for best friend [17M].", "post": "My friend and I met when we were 13. We didn't begin to be good friends until junior year started (last August). We hang out on the weekends, text everyday, and share a few classes with each other. Initially, I didn't harbor feelings for him and would give him dating advice. He is very self-conscious around girls he likes, which leads me to believe he doesn't see me in that way since he is so open with me. I guess in all the time we've spent together and the chemistry we have as friends has led to me growing feelings for him. Whenever we sit in my car in the mornings before school listening to music, I have been having this urge to just kiss him.\n\nThis could potentially be threatening to our friendship and I wish I could stop myself from liking him. Any advice? What do I do? The last thing I want to do is lose him as a friend.", "summary": "I like my good friend, don't think he feels the same way. How can I get over this without ruining our friendship?"} {"id": "t3_3hglv9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] with date [23 M], went on a date, he hasn't texted me, I keep thinking about him", "post": "Met a guy on an app, he goes to my university but is in the law school. We had an amazing amazing amazing date, where we sat for five hours just talking, he spent 70 dollars on drinks for us. I felt like we connected really well, and at the end of the date while he was walking me home he kissed me multiple times and it was great, then said we'd go out again in September when he's back from a 3 weeks trip to see family abroad. I texted him the next morning saying I had a great time, and he said he did too, and a joke about the next time we meet, I texted him back something funny, and no response, havent heard from him since and im assuming already away. What's the deal? Did he like me? Will he text me in September?", "summary": "Met a guy and had literally the best connection with someone I've had in a year or two, he hasn't contacted me, don't know if I should wait until he's back or already move on."} {"id": "t3_19xknu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [22] m and I [19] f got into a fight and now he says he doesn't love me anymore.", "post": "We have known each other since I was 13. We got together when I was 16. We've always had a great relationship. Last night he was talking about this girl [19] f and I got a little suspicious so I snooped. I confronted him about the flirty chat that was going on and claimed he didn't have feelings for her. I had a breakdown and he sat there staring at me blank faced and I told him he acts like he doesn't care. He just got up and left and took a shower.\n\nWhen he got out of the shower he still seemed angry so I left him alone. Eventually he went to bed and I went with him. He got up and went to the couch. He kept moving around so I asked him what was wrong and he kept repeating with every. Single. Question I asked \"I don't know\" \n\nI asked him about our relationship and again \"I dont know\"\n\nEventually he told me he is really sad about his life. I finally got it out of him. He told me he wasn't sure if he was in love with me anymore.\n\nI packed up my stuff and left. When he dropped me off he hugged me and kissed me on the lips. I asked him, again are you still in love with me? And he replied with \"I still love you but I'm\nNot in love with you\"\n\nAnyways fast forward to today and I texted him asking to come over to talk. He said he would but he talked to his mom first and now he is not coming until tomorrow.\n\nRight now I'm halfway across the city from my work I do not have my own vehichle. I have no bed. I can't afford a place of my own. I'm at a loss.\n\nReddit. Help. What should I do?", "summary": "Boyfriend doesn't love me anymore but needs time to think while I am halfway across the city and unable to get to work in less than two hours."} {"id": "t3_1295nr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what would you do if: someone ditched out on splitting the cost of something with you, and left you to pay the whole amount on your own.", "post": "I was in a wedding this weekend. Congratulations to my best friend Zack and his new wife Molly! :D The parties were great, the food was awesome. The band at the end rocked the house. We were all supposed to go to a hotel together after the reception for an after party. Which we did. I had made an agreement with another person in the wedding party to split the cost of the hotel room between us. I had also ridden to the wedding and events with this same person. He had agreed over text to pay for 1/2 the room so I made the reservation. I would not have done this as I cannot afford it on my own. We get to the hotel, I check in. Give him room keys and we all proceed to have a blast. He never comes back to the room. In fact he leaves all together with out paying his half and leaving me 45 min from my home with no ride back to the city. Doesn't return my calls or texts. I'm pissed because we made an agreement and he left me high and dry. He is a mutual friend because we are both close with the groom. I'm more hurt than anything, I feel like this was extremely disrespectful and basically says \" I don't give a fuck about you\". I am unsure how to go about getting his half of the room fee's because in my mind I feel he owes it to me, we made an agreement. I don't want to put my other friend in a weird position and I don't want to cause any ill will. But I really feel he did me dirty and I'm really upset. Any suggestions guys?", "summary": "Friend ditched me, leaving me with payment of the hotel room and no ride home. How do I confront him?"} {"id": "t3_zkr6p", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what do I do?", "post": "I dated a girl for 4 years who cheated on me mid way through the relationship with my \"friend\" who is a marine. We just broke up a month ago and she has basically been slutting it up. I live in a small town and I hear about everything she is doing. I can't hang out with my friends because she has been around them. The marine is back and my friends only want to hang out with him since gone all of the time and the marine wants to be with my slut of an exgirlfriend. While we were dating she was very controlling and crazy. It was my first relationship so I put in 110% and really didn't know better. I'm embarrassed to have dated her and I'm embarrassed to hear about all the things she is doing now. I'm not sure how to get over it. I live with my parents and I can't even look them in the eye. I've left myself with no friends. I dont drink, I mean I'm 21 and I've been trying to get into it for the social aspect but it's not really for me. What should I do?", "summary": "I'm a socially awkward guy that lives at home without many friends and a slutty ex gf - How do I get over it?"} {"id": "t3_3glr2o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Dating: I really like a guy I've gone out twice with but not sure if worth pursuing. I can't read him.", "post": "So I met this guy on Tinder, and he's the only guy I've agreed to go out with from that app. He is about 9 years older than me (he's in his mid 30's). \n\nWe went out on our first date and it was great! we were literally out for about 7 hours until the bars were closing and we had to leave. He asked me a few times if I would want to see him again, and I said yes, so we set up to meet again the next week. Once again, it went really well. \n\nWe share the same passion and we can speak about almost anything. He spoke about things we can do \"next time\" and mentioned things like \"date 4' and \"date 11\".\n\nWe don't really text each other between dates, even when we do, it's very short messages. He's not very responsive over texts so I don't text him much. \n\nIt's been 2 weeks since our 2nd date, and I'm unsure if I should ask him out or wait to see if he does. I don't want to ask him out if he's not interested in me. \n\nI'm usually quite good at reading when a guy is into me, but I've only dated men around my age, so I'm not sure how older men date. Because his actions seem different from the usual guys, who text quite abit, but when we meet, he's very affectionate and says things like \"It's nice to end my week with you\" and \"did you think about me during the week?\" \n\nOh and another thing that happened is that we got intimate on both dates, although I wasnt planning to, and it's something I've never done before. \n\nI NEVER sleep with guys on the first date. But I feel connected and comfortable. I wonder if sleeping with him so fast also could have ruined the chances of us getting to know each other more?\n\nI'm reaaally confused as of if I should just forget it or try. I do like him, not enough to want to jump into a relationship with him, but enough to want to see him and get to know him more. Help?", "summary": "met a guy on Tinder, had 2 amazing dates but no sign of date 3 for two weeks. Confused to whether I should pursue him or not."} {"id": "t3_2ue7xv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What's the best I (25/f) can do, visiting my grandma (79/f) who is in a deep depression, refusing to eat or talk, saying she wants to go now.", "post": "My grandma is 79 and has led a very tough life. In the past 10 years she has had two strokes, two heart attacks, breast cancer, multiple hospitalisations for kidney failure and most recently a hospitalisation for pneumonia. \n\nShe is now back at home but during her most recent hospitalisation she became deeply depressed. She has stopped eating, stopped washing, and does not want to speak to people who visit her. She has signed a do not resuscitate will which means she will receive no knew medication other than pain killers. She seems to think this is the end for her. Obviously my family are struggling to come to terms with this and have been trying to get her eating, taking medicine etc. \n\nI am going to visit her today. I am expecting it to be a fairly upsetting visit and possibly ( but hopefully not) my last. It's going to be hard seeing her like this but I have very little experience dealing with depression and even less with people near to the end of their lives. \n\nI am looking for advice on how to be there for my grandma today during our visit. How do I support her and be there for her? I want it to be an enjoyable visit for both of us as I'm so worried this is goodbye but I don't want to force her to do anything - I really am unsure of how to handle depression.", "summary": "my grandma is in a deep depression and nearing the end of her life. Today may be my last visit, how can I make it the most positive experience I can for the both of us. "} {"id": "t3_1d8uh9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [22F] says that I [23M] cannot watch porn, but she says it's OK for her to read Fifty Shades of Grey.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and she has always maintained that she does not approve of me watching porn. Recently she told me she has started reading Fifty Shades of Grey and has been getting \"worked up\" when reading it. I told her that I thought it was hypocritical of her considering how adamant she is that I don't watch porn, to which her response was \"I think reading is different to watching.\" I pressed her for more of a reason and she said that \"physically staring at other women is different to reading about sex\". Personally I feel like this is a huge double standard when the bottom line is both are used for the same outcome, but I'd like to get some second opinions.", "summary": "My girlfriend think's it's fine for her to get off to Fifty Shades of Grey but not for me to get off to porn."} {"id": "t3_2k9zv0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (24 M) and So (24 F) haven't had sex for over 6 months.", "post": "Me and my gf have been together for over 6 years, within the last 2 years our sex lives has plummeted. During that time we have both gained weight (I don't think we find each other attractive at the minute) and have been working opposing shifts for that time. She is always exhausted when coming back from work, I have always been the one to initiate sex, however I feel guilty if she is always tired. \n\nTo compensate I've just been fapping 2-3 times a day to internet porn. Which I have begun to realise is a quick solution to a long term problem. The annoying thing is we really connect and still enjoy kissing, hugging and spooning but the passion has faded. \n\nReally I'm looking for any advice from anyone who has been through something similar and how to pull through it.", "summary": "me and my long term partner haven't had sex for 6 months, I've been fapping to compensate, we are both exhausted after work, how can we change?"} {"id": "t3_3t17g4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my bf [26M] of 1-1/2 year breaking up", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nI am going through a break up with SO of a year and a half. We moved out of state together and really enjoyed ourselves for about 6 months. The rest of the time has been a lot of arguing and bickering over very mundane things. \n\nIn the recent few months I have realized my boyfriend has become somebody very very negative, controlling and overzealous. Last fight was because a co worker texted me something work related and he wanted to read the whole conversation. Another arguement was due to the fact that I ordered another beer without asking him if I could? \n\nHe also calls me names AKA lazy, self absorbed, dramatic, bitch, dumbass ect when we fight and has broken a glass door and punched or kicked holes in our walls. He has never hit me but the behavior is very scary. He also comes from an affluent family and he told me things like \"you're poor\" or \"you need me\" when I have threatened to leave our house.\n\nI know he loves me and I do care about him deeply, but I feel we are just making each other very negative and miserable. It's so exhausting yet it hurts to so much to fathom being without him.\n\nDo people like this change? Do I run for the hills and cut my losses or try to wait it out and hope things will turn around? I'm feeling very sad and any advice would be beneficial. Thank you.", "summary": "Feeling hopeless and down about break up but ultimately think it might be the best decision for both of us. Boyfriend has anger issues/verbally abusive. Do people like this change?"} {"id": "t3_2g7yaa", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(26/f) No longer attracted to boyfriend (27/m). Keep waiting, or break it off and remain friends?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and for the past few months I just haven't been attracted to him. It's gotten to the point where I don't even like snuggling with him most of the time and I usually feel like I'm just waiting for sex to be over when it does happen. I have a pretty high libido and don't think that's the issue since I still masturbate frequently and fantasize about other people. He is still 100% into me, it almost seems like he's even more attracted to me than ever.\n\nWhen we first started dating, the attraction was definitely mutual, but I'm having a hard time remembering what turned me on about him. Now he just seems more like a relative or platonic friend. The problem is, this is the best relationship I've ever been in in every other way. We get along great and have similar interests, and literally everyone who knows us can't stop talking about what a perfect couple we are. I used to love hearing that, but now I just feel kind of sick because I know there's this huge issue. \n\nI've tried to identify things that might have led to this change. Obviously moving out of the initial honeymoon phase is going to lead to a decreased level of attraction, but it shouldn't be this extreme. My boyfriend has had some mounting health issues lately - he has back problems that have gotten worse, and some sort of digestive issues. This has caused him to come off as sort of weak and mopey a lot of the time, which isn't exactly attractive. Again, I don't feel like these issues should cause such a dramatic change in my feelings. \n\nI feel like if we broke up, we would remain close friends since we get along so well. Right now, that is appealing to me since that's basically how I feel towards him. I would really prefer to fix the attraction issue though, since we work so well in a relationship otherwise. I also know it would absolutely destroy him if I ended things, since he is head over heels for me. I honestly don't know what to do.", "summary": "My boyfriend and I are perfect for each other, but I've recently stopped feeling sexually attracted toward him in any way and don't know if I should wait and hope the attraction comes back, or end things and move forward as friends."} {"id": "t3_2lhvvk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it healthy to take a week long \"break\" to have some space during a rough patch in a relationship in order to think about your feelings?", "post": "[18M] My girlfriend [18F] and I have been dating for a year and a half. We've had a lot of discussion about if we're right for each other, if we love each other, and if we have a future together. \nShe is my first real girlfriend, first person to have sex with, etc. Part of me wants to marry this girl and raise a family some day, another part wants to see what its like to be with other girls and thinks I'm naive for thinking we can last. \nWe broke up a few weeks ago only to get back together the next day. Today we decided to take a week break and see where our heads are at then. Is this normal, or is it just another sign we should break up?", "summary": "Girlfriend of year and a half and i hit a rough patch. Taking a weeklong break to see how we feel. Is it a sign to just end it?"} {"id": "t3_2zvyu4", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I am 20 years old and just Dropped out of community college. Currently working at a retail position. Need some advice on what to do with my life.", "post": "I am a full time student working part time as a cashier in retail. I live with my parents and my step father wants me to leave the house but my mom convinces him to let me stay because of school. I've never been good in school, this was my 2nd quarter and I just failed miserably out of laziness. School just makes me wanna kill myself; so in the half part of the quarter I basically stopped going to classes and didn't bother with Homework, Tests or Quizzes. My parents have no knowledge of this. \n\nI have financial aid that basically covers the entire tuition and leave a little extra in my pocket for books, so basically I am paying nothing to go to college. But now Financial Aid is going to be cancelled and I believe I have to pay them back the partial amount.\n\nI know, I should've just waited until the end of the quarter and then should've taken the next quarter off instead. I was just really depressed and stressed out about my future that I just made it allot worse for myself.\n\nNow for my financial situation. As I said, I work in retail as simply a cashier, but my store manager have offered me a position as a part time supervisor/coordinator. I took it and it's starting this April 5th, it will be paying $3 more than my current pay. I am pretty good with customer service but I don't like working in retail. I want to go into an IT field, I really love computers and pretty good with them too.\n\nSo the problem is that my Step father is not gonna like that I am not going to school and will try to kick me out of the house. My mom will certainly not gonna let that happen, she will even leave him for me if she has to, but I don't wanna make her go through all that.\n\nWhat should I do? What options do I have?", "summary": "Dropped out of college out of laziness/stress, Got a higher position at a retail job, Want to work at IT field. parents will definitely have a fight over the fact that I dropped out of school. Any Advice?"} {"id": "t3_sr603", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, someone just robbed my family, and we think we know who. What can we do?", "post": "My parents have two houses and a garage. One house they live in, the garage is next door (my dad is a mechanic, so the garage is very large, the size of our house, and not attached to the house), and the house next to it is my great grandmother's, which they've bought and are rebuilding.\n\nOne of the guys who was paid to work on the house ended up being a scumbag. Ever since they hired him, they've heard terrible things; he does a lot of drugs, he steals, and sells the stuff to fund his habit. He's told my dad multiple times about missing work because he was \"sick\" (on drugs or crashing). He owes my dad work, or money he was paid to do the work. He recently asked my dad to borrow a piece of equipment to work on someone else's house. My dad said no, not until he did the worked he owed him. This was a few days ago, and now today they realized probably $5k worth of tools were stolen, and the doors broken so they could easily re-enter to get more. The guy conveniently hasn't spoken to us since the spat.\n\nThe police said this guy usually goes and offloads his goods in Baltimore (an hour and a half away) for drugs, but in typical [1] /r/Bad_Cop_No_Donut fashion, they're unconcerned and claim there's little they can do. They have no grounds to search his home.\n\nThey've installed cameras, and are afraid to leave the house. What can they do?", "summary": "Parents were robbed, we believe we know who, police say there's little they can do. How can we make the system work the way it should?"} {"id": "t3_lm9aj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Any interesting hospital stories?", "post": "Yay for a hospital story.. My cousin and I were being fucking retarded and were punching each other and kicking each other. I hid behind the island in our kitchen and she came up behind me and kicked my hip. It hurt a bit, but I got over it. FOUR DAYS LATER I guess I bruised my hip muscle and apparently I also cut myself and got a Staph infection in my blood (I guess you can get it even through a paper cut?) and it went right to that bruised hip muscle and I couldn't even walk. I went to the doctor and he didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me, so we had blood work done and my white cell count was normal. Well, shit. I started having leg spasms and once my fever reached 103.2, I went to the Emergency Department and was admitted to the hospital. Oh, and I had more blood work done later, and it turns out the inflammation in my hip was like 210 instead of a normal 5 or below or something. It took them like three days to figure out I had an abscess (lol puss pocket thing) in my right hip muscle and they had to drain it with a needle. They drained 1 cc of puss and after I was so sore I couldn't move but FUCKING PHYSICAL THERAPY THE NEXT DAY MADE ME. I had to use a walker, and I could barely fucking move the wheels an inch. I had to learn to walk again, and after another day and a half of the walker they put me on crutches. The disease lady wanted me to stay for 2 weeks, but fuck that, I had a concert to go to in like eight days. Four days of crutches (finally back at home) and some pain killers later, I was walking okay I guess but I still can't do a fucking sit up right yet and after running I can't walk that great.", "summary": "Cousin and I were being retarded, I bruised my hip muscle, got a Staph infection, and an abscess later I'm good now! Yay for walls of text!"} {"id": "t3_jtivf", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Should I dump nice guy for being apathetic about life?", "post": "**Pros:** This guy treats me well, is very understanding and is very accepting of me and my baggage. We have good physical chemistry, and lots in common (same music tastes, desire to travel, similar pasts). \n**Cons:** He is not very enthusiastic about getting out and doing things. He complains about things that I really don't think matter at all. He can be very negative/ contrarian. While I am flattered that he seems to enjoy just cuddling with me and doing nothing, I am super restless and feel like it is a huge chore to get him enthused into doing things. \n\n**Example**: \nMe: Would you like to go for a bike ride this week?\nHim: Yes, BUT... I have no bike and my roomate's mountain bike is not good for riding in the city. \nMe: What about the bike in your hall?\nHim: Only the back brakes work and I have an irrational fear of flipping over my handlebars and hurting myself because this happened to me 10 years ago.\n\nThis conversation drags on, with him shooting down any possible solution that would allow him to go biking\n\nMe: *no longer feeling excited about biking* :(\n\n* In general, he is content being boring and I am not, therefore I have to choose and plan activities if I want to do them. \n\n* It is very draining for me to try getting him excited about the activities I really care about. \n\n* It usually ends up with me a) not doing what I really want to and b) feeling depressed (because I'm sensitive to other people's emotions and have trouble motivating myself around people who drag their feet)", "summary": "Should I break with up an otherwise nice guy 'cause he's not into my activities and I'm very sensitive to his negativity?"} {"id": "t3_1j617j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "It's the 2 year anniversary of me (25F) and my boyfriend (28M). Is it wrong that I'm upset because I got nothing?", "post": "He's someone that I love very much and we've talked about marriage several times and we know that it's down the horizon. In the beginning of the relationship, he wooed me with flowers and cute cheesy things (leave me love-notes in random places) etc. Recently, he seems to have stopped doing that. \n\nTwo months ago was my birthday, while he did take me out for dinner (same place we go for every special occasion), I was slightly disappointed that I didn't get a card, and the fact that he didn't put effort into doing anything special. But I didn't make a big deal out of it because we did get dinner and that was that. I did express to him nicely that I'd love to receive a card. He told me he would get me one, but he still hasn't after two months, so I've just let it slide.\n\nIt was his birthday couple weeks ago. I got him a pretty cool present (an inflatable raft), a birthday card and a cake. I didn't do it so that I would expect something in return, but I just wanted to show him that I put effort in doing things like this because I love him and want him to feel special. \n\nTwo days ago was our anniversary. Even though I've expressed before how much I love cards. I got nothing. No special dinners or flowers. This time, I was rather upset that he didn't put any effort into it, even though I have clearly communicated it already. He said he's got no time, which I call BS, since he has time for video games, movies and basketball. He got mad at me for being a spoiled brat.\n\nAm I wrong here? I just want to feel special as a girl on the special occasions. I know it's not right to compare with other relationships, but it does suck a bit when I see other girls getting flowers and presents from their boyfriends.\n\nDon't get me wrong, he's usually a really nice bf and treats me with respect. He does tell me he loves me all the time and our relationship is generally really good. I just wish he responds differently on these special occasions.", "summary": "Boyfriend did nothing for our 2 year anniversary, despite me communicating clearly that I wanted a card. He said he has no time but I think it's just the matter of priorities. How else can I communicate it to him?"} {"id": "t3_s3hhh", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Quiting the job hunt to join the service and pick up some skills. Thoughts?", "post": "I've been on the job junt since Jan of last year when I returned from a stint teaching abroad post B.A. I had a rocky beginning, struggling to pick up even a menial big box store gig. I then found some per diem policy research work to carry me through the second half of the year. At the beginning of 2012 I picked up a state funded tutoring contract and a day job from hell--I mean teaching at a Job Corps. Throughout this entire time I have been striking out at dreamish jobs, and have found my career path trending strongly toward education; a thing I have found that I have lost passion for.\n\nLately I have been considering joing the Air Force or Coast Guard as a means to pick up a skill set that is applicable to the real world, or at the very least, have a solid job and escape from student loan debt through the GI Bill. \n\nHave you or anyone you know joined a military service for convictions other than those of 'national duty'? Did it work out? or did you wind up feeling trapped after a year or two? Did you obtain a solid skill set or remain in the service for an extended period of time?", "summary": "What happened to you or someone you know that dropped out of the job race and joined an armed service for the work?"} {"id": "t3_2qkqu9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Saw something I WISH I hadn't on family friend (65M)'s phone.", "post": "So at a dinner we decided to google some lyrics on Terry's(65M) phone after his wife leads a sing-along and not everyone can join. \nHe begins texting some strange number that answers your query, so I think I'll be helpful and use safari and google to show him how to get an immediate answer as he is not the most technologically adept.\n\nProblem is, the first thing that pops up on Terry's browser is a bright red font declaring 'COME DOGGING' and what is obviously a site used solely for dogging practises. I had enough time to remember the url (it's legit) and he seemed visibly shaken after I hurriedly exited the browser and pretended to see nothing.\n\nMy question is; should I tell anyone about this or not tell a soul? \nWe aren't particularly close, just good family friends. But it would absolutely crush me to know I was potentially allowing his wife to be exposed to his risky behaviour in regards to STIs...", "summary": "found dogging site on family friend's husbands phone, feel torn about saying anything or keeping my mouth zipped. What should/can I do?"} {"id": "t3_vb4xe", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "\"hunt me down\" <- am I reading too much into this?", "post": "I'm 18 male and I graduated from high school in may. I got a yearbook like all seniors are supposed to do, got some notes in it, yada yada yada. Never really read them. I've always sucked at reading social cues, so that maybe my problem.\n\nA few weeks ago my dad was looking through it and finds one of the notes from a girl (18yo) I am friends with, lets call her Herpina, and will be going to the same college. I had a very small crush on her a while back. She is very sweet and nice, smart, hilarious, good looking. Never really thought about it. Well the rest of the note doesn't matter but the very last line said \"hunt me down next year\". \n\nMy dad's first reaction was to say that I should pursue it. Not entirely understanding, I ask what he's talking about, he showed me it and acts like its basically an open invitation for me. I say he is reading to much into it. I don't really believe him, but I am kinda curious.\n\nSo basically what I'm asking is: are my dad and I rewarding too much into it?", "summary": "get a note from a girl that says \"hunt me down next year\". Dad thinks its an invitation, I'm not sure. Any ideas?"} {"id": "t3_s3et2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I go for it even though my time is running out?", "post": "So basically there's this girl in my class whom I'm attracted to and I think that there is a chance that we could end up being a couple, but there seems to be a few things that can prevent that from happening. \n1. I've heard rumors that she is in an arranged marriage (Her family is Middle Eastern; Haven't confirmed this from her, as she is private and most likely wouldn't want to say anything on the matter) 2. We have a few months left before she goes back home for a couple months and then will be going off to college (I'm only a Junior), and I most likely won't see her ever again unless we end up going to the same college 2 years from now, which does seem likely as we plan on going to the same school. 3. It seems that she's been hurt by a previous guy from what she has told me, and she's told me she hates most guys at are school. My question is: Should I try to start a relationship with her? A lot of people might say hell yeah live life to the fullest and all, which I totally want to do. I just don't know if she feels the same and I'm also looking for a serious relationship, and a few months isn't enough time to do as such. Thanks for reading! :)", "summary": "people: I like a girl who might be in an arranged marriage and I only have a couple months left with her. Should I go for it?"} {"id": "t3_2j2bpu", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Cant register car, outstanding parking tickets", "post": "Im in ohio\n\nBasically i have 1000 dollars in parking tickets while i was in the hospital and missed the court date to contest them and now they say i cant do anything about it now they are in collections. I dont have the money to pay them off.\n\nMy car died and i need a new one, but the dmv wont let me register a new car until i pay off the tickets.\n\nI have another car. Just not registered.\n\nI was wondering if my dad could put the car in his name and then i get some kind of non owners insurance to drive it.\n\nHowever, i thought when you register a car in your name at the dmv you had to also provide proof of insurance in your name as well.\nMy dads insurance wont allow other people to drive his cars under his plan for some reason.\n\nSo i was wondering how i could drive the car with my non owners insurance with the car registered with his insurance, or is there someway for him to register the car without hia insurance since he will not be driving it.", "summary": "Cant register car in my name due to outstanding tickets. Dad insurance wont let me drive his cars. Can i have him register a car in his name and use my non owners insurance without his insurance getting their panties in a wad."} {"id": "t3_2pz3d3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "She says her newfound independence means we may need a break...", "post": "Hey all. I'm crazy confused and would appreciate any help I could get. Never posted before, but I figured it couldn't hurt!\n\nOkay gf (22) and I (M 23) have been dating for 3 years. We've done long distance a couple times for summer breaks in college. But now we have graduated and she is pursuing grad school and I am working pretty far away.\n\nWe have had almost zero problems in our relationship. Everything has been going fine. We haven't been doing great the last 2-3 staying in touch as we both had major exams for a long time.\n\nOut of the blue my gf called me and said that she has really grown during our time apart. More confident, more independent, and happier. She says that she doesn't miss me ALL the time like she used to. (which I think is healthy)\n\nShe says that she still loves me but wonder what a break would do for her. She doesn't want to see other people. She just wonders if it would help her grow even more. And she worries that this independence she is feeling is a sign of us growing apart. \n\nI'm trying to be supportive, she has always been shy and quiet. I am so happy she feels more confident, but I just don't know what else to say. I would love some help! Much appreciated!", "summary": "Our long distance has caused GF to feel more independent and happy. She is worried this is a sign of us growing apart. Possible 'break' incoming?"} {"id": "t3_vm0yp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Redditers that have worked in restaurants, what is something you wish you would have known before taking the job?", "post": "I've never worked at a restaurant before and have an interview for a host or back-waiter position in a few days. The place is doing a \"reverse interview\" however, and will be evaluating me on the questions that I come up with to ask them. They said that no topic is off limits and no subject is too far. I've come up with a few questions so far but was wondering if Reddit could share some of its vast wisdom.\n\n1. How long have you worked here/been in the industry?\n-I would imagine that if he/she is interviewing me they have probably worked there for a while. But I think it's a good starter/set up question.\n\n2. What is the first thing you do when you get off work?\n-This is to gauge how stressful, relative to their years of experience, the work environment is day to day.\n\n3. What is the etiquette/relationship between the kitchen and wait staff?\n-This is to avoid pissing off the kitchen. At all costs, I want to be on their good side.\n\n4. How does one move up the ranks (bus boy to waiter to bartender etc.) and how long does it take?\n-Eventually, maybe in a year or so, I'd like to bartend. \n\n5. When are the busiest hours and how many people usually come through on a busy night?\n-This is to basically test the \"weeds\".\n\nThat's about all I have so far. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!", "summary": "Never worked in restaurant, have a \"reverse interview\", looking for things I should ask/know about a place before I work there."} {"id": "t3_3rofq2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Need [M/29] advice on how to support a girl [F/30] I fell very hard for", "post": "Recently moved back to a city I moved away from 3 years ago, and met this beautiful girl at a softball tournament. Turns out she was just separated and going through a divorce, but that didn't stop us from talking daily and going on outings together. After 2 months she gave me her apartment keys, and we started seeing each other more and more. She just started her CPA program, and is incredibly stressed and busy now. I totally get this, and have to go back to school myself soon. The problem is she is INCREDIBLY independent. After she confessed how hard she was falling for me over the weekend, I get a text yesterday saying she won't be available until the end of December. Obviously I'm hurt...but how do I not ruin anything by asking her about times we can be together or talk. I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells to not stress her anymore. Any advice would help a lot!", "summary": "Met girl if my dreams. She's in school and suddenly says we can't see each other. How do I support her or say it doesn't matter to me until she's done?"} {"id": "t3_2w842r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] meeting my 1/2 Brother [~15] for the first time", "post": "**Backstory**\n\nMy dad left ~16 years ago. I have never meet him. He was a raging alcoholic and cocaine addict when he left and seems to have cleaned up his act. My grandma may have cancer so my mom contacted my dad so they could have their goodbyes should worse come to worse and my grandma die suddenly. Turns out I have a half brother whom we'll call John. I want to meet John but I don't want to meet my dad. \n\nOne of my 2 sisters has already met with my dad and the other is planning to this weekend. I have no intentions of meeting him. They both have John's number and didn't give it to me. I haven't asked for it but I didn't know they had it until this morning when my mom let it slip by mistake.\n\nI plan on asking for John's number and calling him. I assume he know's I exist because my sister's have his number and I'm assuming they have contacted him. I just don't know what I would say to him so start a conversation. I know I should start out with the, \"Hi, John. I'm Mickey_Done, your long lost brother. How are you?\" I just don't know where to go from there.", "summary": "What should I say to John when I call him, past, \"Hi, John. I'm Mickey_Done, your long lost brother. How are you?\""} {"id": "t3_1g0zpk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28M] with my [51F Mom] and [25F Sister] duration, My sister is ignoring her family (what's left of it). Can you PLEASE help? (X-Post from /r/advice)", "post": "* Painting a picture:\n\nWe don't really speak to our extended family anymore. They do/did lots of drugs, are extremely rude and disrespectful at group gatherings, my cousin hit on my girlfriend a family reunion, etc...\n\nWhat's so upsetting about all of this is that my immediate family (mom, sister, and myself) have been extremely close all of our lives. We have never abandoned each other since my extended family has taught us how not to be. My mom is devastated as she is going through empty nest syndrome already with my sister leaving within the last year.\n\n* Current situation:\n\nMy sister hasn't spoken to my mom or myself in over 2 months. I'm very upset and worried for her (she was molested as a child by a fellow church member -- we're all atheists now except my mom) because of her past. I've always been her big brother. I've always been there for her and so has my mom. \n\n* What I think:\n\nMy sister seems to be upset because I was laid off work and am currently relying on unemployment to make ends meet and that my mom MIGHT lose her job because her union doesn't seem to want to represent the workers that are being mistreated (my mom stands up for herself and her co-workers as opposed to many others). I'm currently working a side business that is beginning to generate enough revenue to make my full-time job in the near future and the possibility that my mom will get fired is relatively low. \n\nThese tiny bumps in the road, that we all seem to go through, seem to devastate her.I know my sister is really stressed and worried for us, but simply not communicating with your family (my sister didn't even bother to call my mom on Mother's day) is not the way to go. Reddit, how can I fix this!! I'm a guy. Tell me what to do and I'll do it! Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post.", "summary": "My sister hasn't communicated with either my mom or myself (her brother) in over 2 months. I know she is physically safe, but I very much worry about her well-being and this is tearing my mom apart."} {"id": "t3_42tn1s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Do I [22m] have a chance with [22f]?", "post": "Hello! Long time-lurker, first time submitter (Throwaway because you know why), this isn't as exciting or drama filled as the posts that keep bringing me back, but I'd really appreciate some help with this.\n\nSo in september 2013 I met (let's call her) Brody through college in a module we were both taking, we worked together in a few group settings and we got along well and kept in touch, although we couldn't work together for college or hang out much as our schedules were polar opposites. \n\nBut we tried to keep in touch and stayed friendly. I wanted to ask her out, but she had a long-distance boyfriend a few hours away, so I put that thought out of my head. Until a few weeks back, when one of my best mates (let's call him) Corey admitted to me that he made-out with Brody on a night out recently. This obviously caught me off guard.\n\nNow I'm 90% certain she's single, but she's quiet about it and I wouldn't be able to tell without asking her. Now I'm left wondering if I have a chance with her. Another issue is I have Asperger's which makes the whole relationship thing fairly hard for me (Never had a girlfriend, and the two times I was close ended in disaster), so reading body language and picking up social hints isn't something that comes easy to me. (Although I am miles better than I was even a few months ago)\n\nSo here's where I need your help. I'd like to get advice how to figure out if she's single or not without seeming nosey, and if she is, any tips for getting the confidence to ask her out or figuring out if she's into me or not.", "summary": "I'm not sure if my friend is single, and I'm looking for advice for asking her out as someone who's not very good at that sort of thing"} {"id": "t3_1qvtof", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] 6 months, just broke up with me and I don't know what to do", "post": "I work an engineering job making a decent salary, I contribute to my 401k, IRA, and also have a savings account in hopes that someday I will be able to buy a house. My girlfriend works in a sales position with commission and does not make very much money. \n\nWe've lived together for about 4 months and our main point of argument is that she doesn't have any long-term plans for the future. She doesn't save any money and won't commit to going back to college to learn a new skill and get a 9-5 job that provides stable income.\n\nI've been pretty much paying for everything and today I told her how stressed out it was making me that she wouldn't even try to think about our future. It was probably the 4th time I've said this during our relationship and she basically called it off. \n\nI just spent the last hour crying and begging her to stay telling her I was wrong and that I would try harder at work to cover both of us in the future but she still moved everything out of my apt and left.\n\nI don't know what to do. Should I try to get her back or move on?", "summary": "my gf and I fight about money, I tell her that she needs to think about the future and get a stable job and she breaks up with me"} {"id": "t3_2ti1ib", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] My [15 F] girlfriend of 10 months's parents want to put her on birth control", "post": "I recently learned that my girlfriend's parents want to put her on birth control, and I really just don't know what to think. I know that they just don't want to risk her getting pregnant, and I don't really have any problems with it, I'm just really nervous about it. We've talked about sex before, but we both decided that it was better to wait. At least until we both feel emotionally ready to, and is certainly not something we want to do anytime soon.\n\nI know this isn't really a problem, I've just been really distracted by it and been really nervous about it, and thought you all might provide some clarity.", "summary": "Girlfriend's parents planning on putting her on birth control, I'm really nervous and don't know what to do or think."} {"id": "t3_vqszr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Still in love with ex boyfriend.", "post": "I'm a 19-year old female, who dated an 18-year old guy for about 6 months. \nWe broke up a 2 months ago, because he said \"he didn't feel comfortable around me, in the same way as when he's with his friends\". Also, he said when you're in a relationsship, you're supposed to be best friends, which we weren't. He also mentioned, that he didn't feel he could support me the way a boyfriend should be able to.\n \nWe agreed to still be friends, and I admitted, that I still loved him, and he said he loved me too. A week after, he texted me telling me, that he had been to a psychologist, and he had a depression.\n \nWe've met up a few times since, but never talked about feelings. But lately, he's hardly ever contacted me, it's just me, who starts the conversation over text or skype, and it's only me, who takes the initiative to meet up. \nI know, he's not at his very best, and that's probably why he hardly ever contacts me. \n\nBut recently I've become unsure, if I should continue contacting him. Do you think it's worth it? Should I talk about how I feel? Or should wait until he feels better?", "summary": "My ex has a depression, I'm still in love with him, but I'm unsure of his feelings. Therefore, I'm totally blank on what to do. :-("} {"id": "t3_2rsbpe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [40M] will be escorting son [12M] and his friend [12M] to their sports tournament. How to split the hotel costs with the friend's family?", "post": "My son has a baseball tournament out of state that we'll be flying to. His best friend Adam is also on the team. Adam's parents are not able to travel to the tournament, so I have offered to bring him along with my son and me. Adam is a good kid, and we all get along well. His parents gratefully accepted offer, and have offered to share costs.\n\nSo it will be me, my son, and Adam in the hotel room. Money is very tight for all involved, but our families are on good terms, and they will likely pay whatever I ask. (I know, if money is tight then why the hell are we flying around the country to play baseball...that's a topic for another day.)\n\nMy question: Would you ask Adam's parents for **one-third** of the cost of the room (Adam will be one of three people in the room), or **half** the cost of the room (Adam will be one of two kids needing escort to the tournament), or **no cost** of the room (since I would be going anyway)?\n\nTo be clear, this is not a family vacation to which we're inviting Adam as a guest. In that case I probably wouldn't ask for any money. It is literally just me escorting the kids. My wife, and my other kids are not coming. The boys will play a few games over a couple days, then we'll come home. Adam's folks will supply him with meal money, plane ticket, etc.", "summary": "How should we split the cost of a hotel when I'm escorting someone else's kid to a sports tournament? It will be me, my son, and his teammate in the room."} {"id": "t3_erf06", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "My girlfriends family is slowly dying away from her, I don't know how to comfort her anymore.", "post": "In the past 5 months she has been to three funerals. She's only 18 and eventhough she's a really strong person, it's too much for her to handle.\nWe keep a long distance relationship so I can't go to her and comfort her in person, only via MSN for now.\n\nJust 30 minutes ago her grandmother passed, she doesn't know what to do with herself and she guilts herself for what happened.\nShe got 20.000 DKK (danish currency) as a christmas present from her grandmother in the mail minutes after she had found out her grandmother passed.\nShe guilts herself with the fact that when she visited her grandma yesterday, she said \"Good night, I will see you tomorrow\" but never did.\n\nI'm running out of words to tell her, help me please.", "summary": "Long distance relationship girlfriend has had a lot of family members taken away from her, don't know what to tell her anymore that will make her feel better."} {"id": "t3_1v8q9z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How much should I [17 F] trust my BF [17 M] of 3 months, with the texts I send him?", "post": "We don't go to the same school, but I know guys talk. I haven't sent him any pictures because I know better than that. I know we're going to break up eventually, and I know he's not destined to be my only partner forever.\n\nTonight he asked me to do stuff on cam for him; I said no. Then he asked for some pics; I said no. And the funny thing is, he said he'd never ask for pics OR try to pressure me into it. He didn't exactly\npressure me, but he definitely seemed to think I would budge easily.\n\nI already said I'd give him oral soon. We're giving each other our virginities next month. And I've been really open with him, and so has he.\n\nBut when it comes to dirty texting, even just with writing, I can just picture him going to school tomorrow and bragging to his friends. I trust him, but I don't trust guys. He's my first boyfriend, but I've also heard a lot from other people and I just don't want to do anything stupid.", "summary": "We're both seniors in HS. Boyfriend wants dirty text messages. I shouldn't trust him to keep things private, right?"} {"id": "t3_3on546", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "unique situation with girl in class; originally posted in TIFU", "post": "Recently I have lost a little confidence in myself because of a bad break up and a move to a new town. I am going to sound like a douche bag for a second but stay with me, trying to give other users the full picture. I am a charismatic, charming, and decently good-looking 26 year old male college student. How do I know that? I have been with a lot of quality girls over the years (some relationships, some a few-night stands). I have never had trouble making friends, etc. I take a class with one girl in particular who I identified from day one as my type. My type is natural beauties, slightly on the hippie side with brains. I cannot stand dumb, material girls (or people in general). One friday night I hit this girl up for some smoke and she tells me to come over whenever. I did some laundry, cleaned up and voila, two hours later im ready to go. I get to her place, she takes me back to her room, we listen to some albums, smoke a joint and talked about our lives-where we came from, our families, etc. I have never been really great at picking up vibes other than if a girl is irritated. At this point its almost 2 am. I decided it was a critical moment, either ask if she wanted me to stay or take the reigns and say I was going home (quit while I'm ahead). I chose the latter. Over the weekend I was busy so we didnt talk. Today (Tuesday) comes around and we had class. I asked her if she wanted to come to my place wednesday after class and she said definitely. So I guess my question is do I go for it this time? Its worth mentioning she is several years younger than I am (can count the difference on one hand). Also I am not looking for another relationship, just a chick to kill time with for the next couple of months; I get the impression she is the same way in light of our conversations. Preferably seeking like-girls advice.", "summary": "went to girls house, wasnt sure if she was feeling it, went home after a little while feeling like a fucked up"} {"id": "t3_1jw2ff", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (23/f) best friend (23/m) is dating a psychopath (25/f)", "post": "My best friend of 10 years recently started dating a girl who's completely psychotic. She talked about marriage and kids right off the bat. Had a shrine of him before they even dated. And I thought she was over the top. However, she doesn't mistreat him. And honestly, best friend or not, he was happy so it was none of my business. I just thought she was very weird. But never said anything. She seemed controlling, but wasn't cheating or abusing him in any way so I literally never said anything about her.\n\nSo, I get a phone call yesterday and he's in a panic. Doesn't tell me much, tells me to come over when she leaves for work. I go over and he whips out a used condom in a wrapper. He told me that he always checks his condoms after to make sure there's no tears. He's very responsible and somewhat OCD so I didn't find that odd at all. He said there wasn't any leaking, TMI at this point. But then he says how he noticed in the wrapper (not the condom), there was a pinhole. \n\nI automatically assume she did it. And he got very offended. I didn't want to inspect the condom (gross), but it was apparent that it was completely intact. However, the wrapper definitely had a small pinhole near the center of it. He thinks it was a fluke. Maybe it got there while he was taking it out. Which I know is complete BS. But he won't believe me. He brought it up with her. She played dumb. And said even if there was a pinhole, no way she'd get pregnant from that.\n\nSo, where do I go from here? I don't want to intrude, but I'm pretty damn sure she put that there. And also, since the condom was completely intact (no leakage), should he insist she take a plan B? Or suggest it? Basically, if there's nothing leaking, is there still a chance she can get pregnant? They've been dating like 2 months!", "summary": "Best friend is dating a girl who I always thought was off. Found a pinhole in the condom wrapper. Doesn't believe she did it. I think she did. Plan B after pill?"} {"id": "t3_4odnya", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by drawing a Hitler-smiley in school", "post": "So this FU happened years ago when I was in 7th grade.\n\nApparantly, our old, hateful physics teacher had a great night and did not know what to do with us. So she was kind enough to let us play \"Guess what I'm drawing\" on the blackboard, one student at a time.\nWhen lesson was as good as over, I finally decided to draw something funny, too. When I approached the board, my teacher, who absolutely hated me, gave me the usual death stare and told me to pack my stuff since the class is over every moment. I thought it doesn't matter, most of the people had already left the room and I just wanted a friend to guess what I'm drawing. So I stepped to the blackboard and began to draw a mouth, like this ) with a little square right above \u25a0).\n\nOf course, my friend instantly knew what I was drawing and shouted the answer out loudly. We both grinned, but my teacher turned into Hulk himself. She was not giving me the death stare anymore, her eyes were turning dark red instead and her furious stare would make both Lucifer and Hades beg for their lives. Her demonic shouting filled the class room and I thought my time to leave this world had come. She then proceeded her hate speech in a rant about what I had done and how unbelievable illegal this was in front of all of my class mates who have already gathered in the room again. She said she would be going to inform my class teacher and f-ing report me to the police. \n\nAlthough I was almost 100% sure the police would not give a shit about some student drawing a freaking smiley with a Hitler-mustache, I was *quite* shocked and prepared myself to be in a lot of drama soon.\nFortunately, it turned out I never heard something from her again concerning this incident, she did not even tell my parents or class teacher. Maybe she reconsidered what she had said and realized it might have been *a bit* harsh.\n\nMy physics grade, however, turned out to be the worst one I've ever had and almost made me repeat class.", "summary": "Drew smiley with a Hitler-mustache on the board in 7th grade, teacher almost killed me and threatened to report me to the police"} {"id": "t3_4eds9i", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Dental Hygiene Dating Dilemma!", "post": "Hello. I'm posting this for a friend since she has no idea how to use Reddit, and my advice was insufficient to get her to go through with this!\n\nHere we go: I work as a dental hygienist (30F). I had a (33M) patient last week that I felt I really clicked with conversationally. I was too chicken to pursue it at that moment. We live in the same building and discovered that we have a mutual friend. \n\nShould I just wait it out and hope to run into him, or take action, like sending him a message on Facebook? Keep in mind, I really am trying to keep the creep level to a minimum. Also, is this ethical considering that he was a patient of mine, but I technically \"knew\" him through a mutual friend? Thanks!", "summary": "I am a dental hygienist, met a guy & want to ask him out. Ethical? How do I do this? Thanks!"} {"id": "t3_4qbk41", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20F] have never been someone's best friend, and it has clouded my view on friendship. Is it ever right to just give up?", "post": "Never, not even once, has someone considered me their best friend who they love to be around and actually care about. \n\nSo basically, that means at this point in my life, I don't really even have friends, because I know it's just going to end like all of my other friendships. I tried joining a sorority, joining clubs on campus, offering to hang out with others, but it all ends up in the same place...me sitting in my room every weekend by myself, or me hanging out with my boyfriend, technically my only friend.\n\nNow I know it may seem like not a big deal because I have a boyfriend to rely on when I want to hang out with someone, it sucks that I don't have any female friends to hang out with. \n\nBack to my first point, which was no one ever considering me their best friend. I've always been the one left out of people's plans. I've always been the one who coincidentally just so happens to be the one people ask to take the group picture. I've never had anyone (besides my boyfriend) who cared enough about me to want to know what is going on in my life, no one to go to when I'm in pain.\n\nThis whole life of being \"replaceable\" and \"forgettable\" has led me to almost hate friendship. I've tried to buy friends over, I've had friends treat me like a pushover, I've had friends who I thought were my best friend flat out talk about me behind my back.\n\nI'm about to give up hope on friendship and just consider myself one of the many people who just doesn't have friends, even though that's the last thing I want...\n\nIs it right in my situation to just forget about making friends and just be satisfied with having a boyfriend?", "summary": "I have no friends besides my boyfriend and I am beginning to think this is the way my life was meant to play out. Is it right to give up on making friends, even if you really want them?"} {"id": "t3_3oxhpo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What should I [18M] do about this \"relationship\" with on&off girlfriend [18F]", "post": "A little info: I was \"friendzoned\" for years but finally got the girl and feel like I love her, but she is always on and off about her feelings, she talks to a lot of guys ('as friends') which I have learned to accept over time, but sometimes its flirting. She flirts a lot with everyone. \n\nThe relationship - perfect to me, and to her she loves it for a while, then she starts to see me as a friend again and doesn't feel like she wants to be in a relationship. We end it, then both of us go crawling back to each other, she's usually the one who initiates contact again usually when we agree to stop speaking for a while.\n\nWe are currently in an on/off relationship and I need your advice as to whether I should just try persevere and keep chasing the relationship, or whether I should move on.", "summary": "Girlfriend loves relationship for 3 weeks, PMS, hates it. Agree to stop speaking and last a few weeks, start dating again. Should I give up"} {"id": "t3_1zlipt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] with my friend [19F] I met recently, I feel like I missed the bus", "post": "Some context. Last Friday I went to coffee with a girl I met on OkCupid. She is the first person I've connected with though that site. Anyway afternoon coffee turned into dinner, and then hanging out till late at night with my friends, some of which she knew. (In college so late is more like 1-2ish) \n\n------------------------\nSo I walked her to the street to wait for a shuttle to pick her up (I was in no condition to drive, but not really drunk) So I really wanted to kiss her, but I froze. And after I left every one of my friends asked why I didn't, or mentioned that she was doing \"the leg thing\" (A side question. What is that?) \n\n-----------------------------\nSo now here is my issue. I have her number. And I really want to tell her that not kissing her right there I feel was a huge mistake. I have two things stopping me though. #1 I really don't want to come of the wrong way to this great girl I just met. #2 Though an off the cuff comment during coffee I said I'd give her a ride to Tampa (We both are going there by chance Spring break) to be friendly if her shuttle fell through. And guess what? The shuttle canceled and being a friendly man of my word I'm not going to just cancel on her. \n----------------------------------------------------\n\nSo my fear is if I tell her, and she takes it the wrong way, then I just made the most awkward 8 hour car ride possible. So I'm here asking for an opinion on all this, because thinking about it drives me nuts.\n\np.s. two other relevant points. I was willing to trust her with my offer because one of my close friends has known her since middle school. Also a third person who is part of my spring break group will also be ridding with me.", "summary": "I didn't kiss on the first date, and want to tell her how i wanted to, but not have the most awkward 8 hour drive ever"} {"id": "t3_phx9f", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Would you take the settlement?", "post": "Hi Reddit - I was involved in an auto accident about six months ago. Not a real bad one, but it did over $3,000 damage to my car and over $5,000 in medical bills. I was rear-ended by someone who was rear-ended. The two other cars, I believe, were totaled. On the police report, the person at fault indicated he hit us because he was \"attempting to put his seat belt on\".\n\nI am now called about two to three times a day from the insurance company to settle - they want to give me \"$1,500 to put in my pocket\". \n\nI do feel it is a little low, as right after the accident I had an incredibly sore neck - almost as if I couldn't keep my head up. I was extremely inconvenienced. I don't have any sequelae other than a weird painless, yet very annoying grinding sound I hear in my neck when I turn my head since the accident.\n\nMy questions are, should I just take the settlement and get it over with? Should I hire an attorney? Attempt to negotiate on my own? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.", "summary": "I was involved in an accident that cost $5000 in medical bills, $3000 in car repairs. The insurance company is offering me $1500 to settle. Is it enough?"} {"id": "t3_vzcam", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I am a [29/m], I have been dating my [32/f] girlfriend for 8 months. I just learned she screwed someone else and am unsure of what to do. UPDATE", "post": "Original post: \n\nWell, what can I say... It was tough but I dumped her yesterday. I know I should feel good, (and i feel better today compared to yesterday) but I still feel kind of bad. I heard from her house-mates that she really cleaned her room (one showed me a few pictures after I told them I didn't believe it, but goddamn she really did it). I guess that what makes me feel bad is she took what I said to heart and started doing something about it. She told me that she did love me the night I confronted her about the cheating, but I know things are better this way. She says I snapped her out of her depressive funk, but I cant accept what she did to me as something someone does when they love you. Thank you for the help reddit.", "summary": "I broke it off finally...Its all over, but I feel kinda shitty about it. thanks for the support reddit, I know I did the right thing."} {"id": "t3_3b293m", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being concerned", "post": "This actually happened a few months back but whatever\n\nBeing a reasonably hygienic person, I tend to shower from time to time. So on this gloriously rainy and generally disgusting day in Ireland I decided to wash myself before heading to bed, my girlfriend decided she was going to clean our room a bit while I was in the shower which was great.\n\nFast forward to me being in the shower, soaping it up, having a real good time, when suddenly I hear the most ghastly and terrifying wail I have ever heard in my life. What the fuck is after happening? Images of the wardrobe after falling on my girlfriend flashing through my mind. I immediately jump out of the shower and hurry to the bedroom (almost slipping) and barge into the room, face alight with worry & concern, boobs bouncing with urgency, shouting \"ARE YOU OK? WHAT HAPPENED?\". My girlfriend turns to me, utterly confused \n\nGf : \"What?\"\nMe: \"I thought I heard you scream. Are you ok?\"\nGf: \"Yeah I'm fine, I was just singing.\"\n\nJust singing.\n\nWe stand silent for a moment allowing what had just happened to soak in, maintaining eye contact. Soapy bubbles dripping from my hair down my body. Mutually embarrassed and equally amused we laugh it off and I return to the shower.", "summary": "Thought something horrible had happened to my girlfriend and ran to her to see if she was ok while completely naked. She had been singing."} {"id": "t3_37v8v8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] slept with my ex after not seeing her for 9 months [19F]", "post": "I havent seen my ex since last july when we broke up. We talked a few times through facebook since them. As of recently, we have been talking more. I ask her if she wants to catch up soon, and she says yes. My parents also happen to be away this weekend, so I invited her over. \n\nWe wound up talking for hours about college, life, we also smoked a considerable amount of weed. So, we were watching netflix and I notice out of the corner of my eye that she keeps staring at me. Finally I look at her and then yeah, what happened is history.\n\nWe cuddled for a while and talked more, it just felt like nothing really changed since we broke up, like those feelings were still there almost and that we both knew it. She even said she doesnt understand why she keeps ending up in the same place (with me), we've known each other since we were 12. I just dont even know what to make of this, because were hanging out again tonight.", "summary": "Slept with my ex girlfriend, we clicked and its like the feelings never left. Dont know what to make of this"} {"id": "t3_lnxt8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "We are hosting an exchange student. Have we made a huge mistake?", "post": "My husband and I have wanted to travel to South Korea since we visited and fell in love with the country 5 years ago. We have slowly been saving up money and plan to move there soon. We decided to get a Korean exchange student because we thought it would be a mutually beneficial experience. We wanted to teach someone English and have them help with our Korean. We were so excited to have this connection with the country and the culture through a student that would become part of our family. \n\nUnfortunately it didn't quite work out that way. This student has been here for 2 months and he is driving us both insane. He is 15 years old and thinks everything he says is right and we are wrong. He won't listen to anything we want to teach him because he thinks he has all the answers. Overall he is just so weird that we believe he might be somewhat Autistic. He is obsessed with boxing and is constantly punching the air in the house. We will be talking to him and he just starts this imaginary fighting like its completely normal. He interrupts every conversation we have and doesn't listen to the answers to his questions. When we change the subject he will just keep interjecting the previous subject we were talking about. He is always sitting by himself alone in the dark...doing nothing. Before anyone asks, I really don't think this is a language barrier because our Korean is very good. We can always translate if we aren't understanding each other.\n\nWe have tried many different ways of talking to him to help solve all these issues. We have tried being more direct with him by telling him to stop punching the air, tried to let him know when we are changing the subject. We have tried to explain ourselves better in different ways but nothing seems to work. \n\nWhat can/should we do? We cannot just send this poor student home because we don't like him! But its put a real damper in our household. My husband is more patient but I am now actively avoiding him, I leave the room when he starts on one of his tangents. I know this isn't fair to him so I could really use some advice. AMA!", "summary": "Our exchange student might be Autistic, he has no conversation skills which prevents us from having a relationship with him, he is just generally too weird. Help!"} {"id": "t3_3mmbtx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by slapping a blind kid.", "post": "Throwaway because I'm an asshole.\n\nSo I was on the bus the other day on my way home from work. I notice there is a large group of kids on the bus, ranging in age from 6-15. They are being loud and obnoxious, and I try to avoid sitting by them, but most of the seats on the bus are taken. I sit behind two younger kids. \n\nI recline my chair as far as it will go and try to relax, as I've had a long day at work. Suddenly, I feel a hand grabbing my knee. I open my eyes and see that the kid in front of me is reaching his hand in between the seats and touching me. He chuckles, as he says, \"What is that?\" I gently brush his hand off, assuming the kid just made a mistake. He's a little guy, maybe 6 or 7 years old.\n\nI continue to close my eyes and relax, when he grabs my knee again. Okay, I think to myself, this little shithead never learned to keep his hands to himself. So I start flicking his arm. \"OUCH!\" he exclaims, pulling his arm back in. He sticks his arm back towards me, so I start slapping his hand. Not ridiculously hard, but it wasn't a love tap. I continue to flick and slap his arm and hand as he continues to stick them through the gap between the seats.\n\nThe time has come for this large group of kids to get off the bus at the stop. FINALLY. I notice an adult stand up, who I assumed to be the chaperone, and yell, \"Okay kids it's our stop!\" All the kids stand up, and pull out blind walking sticks and put their other hand on the shoulders of the kids in front of them. It hits me.... This poor kid that I've been flicking and slapping is blind! He had no idea what the hell was going on, he was just exploring his environment by feel. I am going to hell!", "summary": "a blind kid was exploring his surroundings when he happened to touch my leg, I think he is some shithead kid, so I start flicking and slapping his arm. I am an asshole."} {"id": "t3_16epse", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Said 'Three special words' to my girlfriend [22F], didn't say it back...but didn't respond badly. My [23M] next move any body??", "post": "So me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for nearly a year now and I love her. She is awesome in pretty much every way...I wanted to say 'the words' but she's a bit scared of commitment (I'm her first 'proper boyfriend' she's had in a while, if not ever) so kind of nervous about it...But about 2 months ago I said it...just out right, kinda out of the blue as were relaxing at mine - 'I Love You...'. \n\nAs I said, she didn't respond badly, she paused kind of shocked and turned to me and gave me a passionate kiss; and it was great and that was that!... Now I'm a bit confused, I still love her and want to say this to her (not too much obviously, but when the thought crosses my mind y'know!) but has left me feeling awkward about it as she's not said it back? Should I carry on saying it regardless? Or do the 'moment' again? Or wait till she says it to me?......obviously considered the reasons why she hasn't said it back, which could be a bit saddening, but its not like the relationship is slowing down in anyway?", "summary": "Been going out nearly a year, said 'I love you', she responds with a passionate kiss but no reply. Do I keep saying it regardless? Wait for her to say? Or do it as another 'moment'"} {"id": "t3_2vo5ar", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [21 M] meet my (recently) ex girlfriend [22 F] for coffee tomorrow? [x-post /r/BIFU]", "post": "Long story short: we've been in a kind of shitty relationship (about 1 year) that ended five days ago. She basically told me she doesn't love me anymore, and still has unresolved feelings for a (completely unavailable) high school crush. Tearful breakup ensued, anger, depression, bargaining, all that horribly unstable jazz. I've been trying my hardest to cope with the loss of companionship, even though every objective part of my brain tells me I did the right thing.\n\nTwo days ago, she contacted me asking to see how I'm doing. I replied and told her that I wasn't ready to start up a conversation again, that I need more time to recuperate. Yesterday I contacted her wondering how she was doing, and briefly asked if she wanted to sit down for coffee tomorrow afternoon (two days later). She said yes, and the plan was made.\n\nI originally felt like this tiny, desperate, lonely part of me was hoping to get her back, and now I'm trying to override that and admit that I had my reasons to leave too. I wanted to talk to her to \"clear the air\" - make sure that the breakup (and the feelings behind them) was real and not as exaggerated as a late night and two glasses of wine can make it.\n\nI sincerely want to be friends with her someday. She's a cool person but I definitely don't want to date her again (says the objective/rational part of my brain).\n\nHere's my question: I'm fully aware that there's a light at the end of the tunnel (even if there are times I lose sight of it). Would talking to her so soon be counter-productive to both my feelings and our friendship?", "summary": "Broke up five days ago, texted her in a moment of weakness/bargaining to go for coffee tomorrow. I want to be friends again, but would this be doing more harm than good?"} {"id": "t3_4i46ez", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Is this a good plan?", "post": "Hey guys, I posted awhile back about which Astronomy school I should try to go for and I need to know if this is a good plan that I've laid out.\n\nI'm going to go to CC for a year or two because the tuition is so cheap and my job will pay for most of it, (Chipotle is a great company), and after that shop around the schools in Ohio that have the best Physics program for the best price. I've heard that where you get your undergrad means pretty much nothing to anyone and grad school is where it really counts.\n\nI'm not trying to plan ahead to what school I'm going to transfer to mainly because I don't see a point in planning more than 2 years in advance if I don't even know what school I want to transfer to.\n\nIs this a decent plan do you think?", "summary": "I want to be an Astronomer and I'm starting with 1-2 years at CC and then transferring to the school with the best Physics program, then doing grad school, is this an okay plan?"} {"id": "t3_ivp20", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Am I paying too much for college? What can I do?", "post": "This is a post asking for advice.\n\nSo I'm paying $30,000 per year for my Pharmacy School. I have a total of six years to go through. I believe my student loans have an interest rate of 8%.\n\nSo as soon as I'm done with pharmacy school, I will be about $200,000 in debt.\n\nI've read and asked around. It seems this isn't fucking normal. I read that the average student loan debt is $24,000.\n\nWhy the fuck am I paying so much? I received a scholarship and grant that totals about $16,000. However, I received no financial aid despite my dad being drowned in credit card debt.\n\nThis isn't fucking reasonable to ask of a family with one employed parent. My brother also attends pharmacy school and he has to pay as much as I do. Deducting both of our tuition fees from our only working parent's income leaves our net gain in the negative.\n\nAm I doing something wrong? Because almost everyone else I ask is paying much less (even if they're going to the same school or other private schools). What can I do about this? Am I able to appeal to financial aid/FAFSA or whatever?", "summary": "I'm getting $200,000 worth of student loan debt. What the fuck can I do about this if anything?"} {"id": "t3_3wes4m", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "My position at my company was just eliminated. How do I go about taking care of myself until I graduate from college in May, and where should I be looking for a job? Who is going to hire someone for 5-6 months? Internships? I'm lost here, doing this alone.", "post": "I was just let go from a company due to the position being eliminated during corporate restructure. I was a Helpdesk/NOC technician, and am going to be graduating with my bachelor's in computer science in May at the end of spring semester next year. \n\nI was told I have recommendations there if I need them, and I've already completed my application for unemployment. \n\nI've got finals next week, but intend on sharpening my resume tonight and submitting resumes in between studying, or after finals. I'm a good student (3.0 GPA), but have not worked in industry for software development yet, which is what I was intending on transferring to at the company that just let me go.\n\nI feel like I'm covering all of the bases, but I have nobody to go to that's been through this, nor do I know if I'm doing things right. I could use any and all advice on this, whether it be about budgeting, what kind of jobs I should be looking for, or common misconceptions/oversights in this situation. Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read this.", "summary": "laid off, too much time between now and graduation to just wait it out, don't know how to prioritize. Pls help."} {"id": "t3_1js8ov", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My best friend/roommate [24F] thinks I'm [25F] too pretty for my boyfriend [28M].", "post": "My bestfriend [24f] and I [25f] have been friends for 10 years. We have had our ups and downs, but have had each others best interests in heart for a solid 4 years. When my ex husband and I divorced, she was there for me 100 percent. That was two and a half years ago. I have dated multiple people since my ex but the guy I am dating now [28m] is different. Him and I have been dating solidly for a month exclusively. I am very happy with the relationship and where it's going. He is an attractive man and very in shape. I am also very in shape and have been told I am very pretty. \nMy friend has recently been telling me that she thinks that I am too pretty for him. A mutual friend told me he saw me with a more attractive man than my boyfriend. I ddon't think this is the case but how do I keep others (mainly my roommate) from telling me things like this?", "summary": "My roommate [24f] thinks I [25f] should be dating a more attractive man. How do I keep her from saying these things to me."} {"id": "t3_2t70np", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Sick of my job, but can't move anywhere", "post": "I graduated in June 2012 with a BS in Biochemistry but my GPA is not competitive enough (3.0) for any respectable Grad program or Medical School. Because one of my family members worked for a huge biotech company, He was able to get me work there . The department that I currently work for is very labor intensive (Lifting heavy ass boxes /crates) and dangerous due to biological and chemical exposure and I'm barely getting 40K a year. I've been stuck there for two years in a very low position compared to my peers at work and every time there's an opening, that I know I'm very qualified for, in other departments they always hire the temps or people outside. Many co-workers of mine have told me that my supervisor knows that I'm way too overqualified for this position, yet he does not want to let go of me because I'm a \"business need.\"\n\n I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to be stuck here in my current department forever because the work load takes it's toll on your body, and many previous employees have suffered severe injuries at work. I want to stay in the company because of the benefits (Medical/Dental/Vision/Stock/401K) but I want to move to another department (preferably R&D or Quality Control). I think I might have pissed off HR or my boss but I'm not too sure because it seems like they never even look at my application every time there's an opening for other positions. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that my boss is a complete douche lord scumbag and he does not give two shits about the health and safety of his employees. I know damn well I work my ass off and I'm always willing to learn, also my attitude is very positive at work and I never complain about any of this shit to anyone. \n\nI just wanted to vent but I appreciate any advice from you guys. Also sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes, I'm currently on my 30 minute break.", "summary": "Hate my current dead end job and I'm stuck here. Cant move to other departments. I hate my boss. Would like to stay in the company because of benefits."} {"id": "t3_38znnp", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "How can I leave my country and settle elsewhere?", "post": "I didn't want to post this and bother anyone, but I'm completely fed up with my country (India) and want to leave it and settle elsewhere, in a better country. Sadly, my country is going downhill in terms of progress and there's no scope of it improving anytime in near future. People here are highly conservative, are obsessed with their culture, are racist, sexists, lack entrepreneurial spirit and are hypocrites. \n\nFurthermore the aesthetics here are awful, here's a post about it: \n\nI'm been working day and night online and have been earning more than any salaried individual here. Do I get any respect for that? Nope, People just fail to realize that one can be an entrepreneur and earn a living. And banks deny any loans to a self employed person, right away (I needed one for my business).\n\nThere's no scope of running a business here, and so I registered my company in US some years ago and have been working through it from India. \n\nNow to the point, I want to leave this country and settle in a developed country (preferably US/Canada) but both of those require an outsider to get a job there to get a work visa (and eventually citizenship). There's no way a self employed person could get a visa. Though, I've an awesome portfolio and would get a job easily but that doesn't make sense. I never wanted to do a job in the first place, and I'm earning better than from any job.\n\nI'm really upset regarding this issue. Any suggestions would be appreciated.", "summary": "I'm a self employed person (Online Marketer) and want to settle in a developed country (preferably US/Canada), but there's no way to get a visa for the same."} {"id": "t3_3hh7tj", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by falling hard for a woman in Alaska", "post": "This wasn't today, but probably like 3 weeks ago.\n\nI have this friend, Jessica. Jessica and I went to the same gym for months, and she's in the same circle of friends. For months, I didn't really talk to her, just pleasantries here and there. About 1.5 months ago, I found out she will be going to Alaska for a 1 year work program. And in that month, as our circle of friends dwindled, I got to know Jessica better and better, platonically. It began with a casual dinner after a workout, then lunch, and eventually we became regular workout buddies. One week before she left, we threw a goodbye party for her, and we really hit it off. So much so that several friends told me that we were cute together. The following morning, I couldn't get over the fact that *that* was the last time I was going to see her. So, we ended up hanging out three more times in the last week before she left, and they were the best dates I've ever had, because I didn't have to try. We just walked and talked. It was so natural and easy and fun! ...and then she left.\n\nOh, and *then* our mutual friend (in the circle) tells me that she's been crushing on me for a while now, and that she felt the same way about our first \"date\".", "summary": "I fell fast and hard for an amazing woman, who just left for Alaska for 1 year. P.S. I don't live in Alaska."} {"id": "t3_2geu4y", "subreddit": "college", "title": "So... What does one do when they're unhappy with their decision to transfer?", "post": "Hey everyone... First post on reddit, so please forgive me if I make any mistakes. Anyway, basically what I'm looking for is any words of wisdom, or to hear from someone in a similar position. Or tips on how to deal with any of it, any insight is appreciated.\n\nI went to school for a year and a half at one place, then went to cc for a semester, and then came here. I swore up and down that this is what I wanted to do, so my parents agreed and boom, here I am 12 hours from home. I'm doing pretty well in my classes, but I just hate being so far from my family because we are so close. I feel pretty badly about spending so much money on out of state tuition as well, even though my family can afford it. It's a great school and I like it here, but life just isn't the same with my family so far away.", "summary": "Transferred to a far away school not expecting to miss my family so much and feeling bad about spending so much on tuition."} {"id": "t3_3ct0u5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] with my BFF [21 F] who was broken up with a few months ago but can't seem to get over her douchey ex.", "post": "I love my bff and she is an awesome person. I'm usually really good with advice and helping friends out, but I'm at the end of my wits with her and I don't know how I can help her out.\n\nHer boyfriend broke up with her around mid-May of this year. They had dated for almost a year and he was her first true love. At first I didn't mind him, but the longer she dated him I realized that he was completely selfish and saw my friend as someone who will do anything for him. He mooched off of her completely and rarely displayed interest in anything that she cared about unless he thought it would get him laid. He ended up getting a full time job and still she paid all of the bills and even put gas into his car. It was an awful situation and she could not see how selfish he was because she was so blinded by the love she felt for him. \n\nWell, now, they are \"broken up\" but she can't seem to get over him. They still hang out (sometimes just for sex -- she's convinced that he will date her again) and do things that will make him happy. She's bought him massages and is driving an hour away to take him to a video game competition that she found and encouraged him to enter in. It's extremely unhealthy and she admits knowing that he is being selfish and that she hates that he doesn't pay attention to her. However, she keeps going back to him time and time again. \n\nAs a best friend, it's really hard for me to sit back and watch her struggle with this and not know what to do to help her. I've tried to point out where he is being selfish, encourage her to cut communications for a trial period to see how she feels after not talking to him for a while, attend therapy to address some obvious self esteem issues, and even tried to take her out to meet other guys so that she could see that other guys will want her and treat her well. However, nothing seems to help. What can I do to help her?", "summary": "My bff can't get over her douchebag of an ex boyfriend and is still allowing him to mooch off of her with false hopes that he might date her again some day."} {"id": "t3_1ef8e5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Redditors of Western NY, is a move to the Rochester area right for me?", "post": "I am happy to comment and add information as you ask for it (less the intimate details of my exact geographical location), and encourage references where you feel you can offer any. \nJust a little background on myself, to help you get familiar with my situation, and maybe try to sympathize:\n\nI am a 21 year old college student living south of the Mason-Dixon. I have attended two different universities as of now, and have just ended my third year (it will take at least one extra semester for me to graduate due to a number of major changes, and the current degree I'm seeking isn't anything I plan to use. Fuck me, right?). I'm not happy at my current uni for a variety of academic and social reasons, and have considered applying to RIT to finish my schooling. My pull for this is that if I finish my last year of undergrad in the state I plan on attending grad school in, I won't be paying out of state tuition. \n\nGrad school is kind of an \"IF\" though, as my career goals lay with training thoroughbred racehorses and getting a well rounded education with different aspects of farm operations (breeding, foaling, medical treatment, etc.). Finding a place / places to work in this field around the Rochester area is a vital part of the decision I would make to move to the area. If I can't work with horses, I can't make the move. \n\nOther areas of concern as I weigh the pros and cons of such a life change are finances, the fact that I know very few to no people there, and complete unfamiliarity with the area. \n\nWhy do I want to leave where I am now? The place I've called home and spent the last 11 years of my life? Plainly- I hate it. The people, the economy, the school. I feel like an outsider in my own hometown. And though I'm not exactly spiritual, I've felt the Empire State has been calling to me for a long time. I just don't know if it's the right choice for the path I want to take.", "summary": "I hate my life where I'm living now, and feel like I'll never get ahead here. I'm thinking about moving to NY. Good idea or bad for an aspiring equestrian who needs to finish school?"} {"id": "t3_3rnkkm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25F] younger sister [23F] has taken the exact same path as me since HS and it's stressing me out. Should this affect my career choice?", "post": "One of my sisters has chosen the exact same path as me as far as school and career are concerned since high school. I don't know why it bothers me, but it seriously does. Over the course of four years, she picked the exact same electives that I had taken in HS, in the order that I took them. When I was in college, I was shocked to hear that she had chosen the exact same major as me. It's a professional major, so it's quite a specific and unique field. She asks for my notes and has tried to duplicate my college projects. \n\nI don't know why but it seriously bothers me. Part of me feels that she's not giving me the space and independence I want to have as an individual within the family (Edit for clarity: independence in the sense that I can make independent decisions, without factoring in another family member). She also tends to want to engage in technical conversations, which I do not want to do. I feel unable to make any major career decisions without factoring her in at this point. I am currently applying to graduate school programs, and part of my rationale for choosing the program that I have chosen is the fact that she probably won't be going in this direction. I don't like the field very much", "summary": "I feel that my sister, in making the same decisions that I have since high school, is taking away from my sense of privacy and independence."} {"id": "t3_48kqqw", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Money-pit Car is Dying, Still a Year's Worth of Payments Owed. PLEASE HELP!", "post": "I'm a 26 year old, broke college student working full-time to support myself. My car's a 2006 VW Passat 2.0T (in case you were wondering); I financed the car for $10k almost 3 years ago. Since then, I've dropped $2k on a timing belt and chain that were about to snap (car currently has 100k miles on it), my catalytic converter recently went out (another $1k to fix), my brake booster box just went bad (I don't even know how much this will cost), and now my car is shifting weird. I've always been good about keeping up with routine maintenance, but this is getting ridiculous!! I'm convinced this car is a lemon. I want to get a cheap beater car when my income tax refund comes back, but I don't know what to do since I still owe payments on this car (a year's worth..about $2k)? Are there any options? I'm not going to let the car get repo'd, but I'd rather not be paying payments on a car that I can't even drive. My one-way work commute is 30 miles from my apartment, so I really need my vehicle right now. I have a good bike to get me to work if I really have trouble and am in decent shape, but 60 miles is a huge haul every day. Should I throw more money into this crap car? Should I pay the car off with my tax refund? Should I get a beater car with my tax money and continue paying payments on an undriveable car? That really seems like my only option right now.", "summary": "My car is a lemon. The transmission is going bad and I still owe money on it. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2oooqf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How big of a problem do I [29M] have on my hands with an overly attached [30F]?", "post": "We've been going out for 2 weeks. Sex is the best I ever had. However, she wants to message me all the time and talk about how good we are together.\n\nI had been on a dry spell for a couple of years, so the first week I played along. And our dating life went as follows:\n\n**1st date:** We had a spark right away and no gaming was necessary. We do foreplay on the theater.\n\n**2nd date:** She demands exclusivity, got uber mad when she saw *Tinder* message popup on my phone.\n\n**3rd date:** Sex on a motel, great sex.\n\n**4th date:** More sex on a motel.\n\n**5th date:** Movie & sex on a motel.\n\n**6th date:** Sex on a motel.\n\n**7th date:** Sex on a motel.\n\n*All in the span of two weeks.*\n\nIt's like, everything she talks about is how good we are together, how she wants to become my girlfriend (I told her I'd give it a month before doing that), and how she considers herself mine forever and ever.\n\nShe has very few friends, seems a bit forever alone type of person and freaks out if I take too long to message her or don't call her princess, by freakout she sends a message saying I'm acting weird.\n\nI'm feeling overwhelmed and guilty because I played along and told her a lot of bullshit to get laid and keep getting laid (I agreed to exclusivity and told her I planned on making her my girlfriend soon). I do like her a lot, I never had someone like me this much, and I find her deadly attractive.\n\nShe says things in the sack like: \"Do you like how it feels? Good, because it's yours forever\".\n\nHow can I break it to her that we should slow down without her freaking out?\n\nShe says her last relationship was 4 years ago. I'm beginning to understand why.", "summary": "Overly attached girl, don't know how to respond. How can I break it to her to be less overly attached and slow things down?"} {"id": "t3_4toa14", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "M 32 Still a Virgin Due to Injury, Need Advice", "post": "So long story short, when I was 17 I was in an accident and broke my neck (C2, C3, C4 vertebrae). Thankfully, I did not end up being paralysed completely, but a lingering affect was that I was numb throughout most of my body. After rehab and what not within a year I could walk, run, etc, but was numb in most of my body (sort of like pins and needles). And because of this, I was lacking sensation which prevented me from dating.\n\n After years of physio therapy and rehab, I am now back to getting erections again (seriously the happiest day of my life). However, because I took myself out of the dating game for pretty much my entire life, I feel so lost. I also because of this I dealt with some depression and put on a ton of weight (went from 190 to 370). Ive dropped a ton of weight (now 270) and now have boners but feel so lost. I want to date and experience all that, but how do I explain this to women? Throughout college and my 20s I turned down a few potential partners because of embarrassment, but now that physically im in good shape. I have no fucking clue what to do, how to bring this up without sounding awkward. I dont know how else to describe it, but I literally feel like im starting from scratch. \n\nAny advice would be greatful", "summary": "Neck injury led to partial paralysis, lack of boners and no dating experience. Now have erections again and absolutely lost"} {"id": "t3_1we3bs", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I've [28/F] have broken up with my married boyfriend [32/M] because it's just too difficult. Feel awful please help, don't judge.", "post": "I have a married boyfriend, yes, it's a bad situation. I'm lying to everyone, so that they don't know we're involved, and he's obviously lying to his wife. He's not happy with her, and he wants to be with me. I believe him when he says that, and he doesn't want to just out right tell her as he doesn't want to hurt her any more than is necessary or inevitable.\n\nI'm not looking for judgement on the affair situation, it's awful and I can't do it any more, I don't know his wife, so my miserable-ness is mostly selfish; that I have to share him, and be treated like I'm second best and that I'm expected to wait until he's ready.\n\n We've broken up, I'm struggling with the situation and the only option available to me is to remove myself from it. I've told him that I want to be with him, but only once his situation is sorted. \n\nHe's really upset and I feel awful about that. I feel slightly better, as though a weight has been lifted but sad and miserable because I do think we could have a future together and I really love him. \n\nDo I stick to my guns and stay broken up even though it's making me miserable, or should I continue the \"affair\" knowing that he'll break up with her eventually? \n\nI know there'll be a lot of people jumping to the conclusion that he'll cheat on me, and it may sound naive to you but I believe that he won't. That he really loves me and that this could be it. Every situation is different and just because you were cheated on, or you cheated doesn't mean my situation is the same as yours.", "summary": "broke up with my boyfriend as I can't be \"the other woman\" anymore. Feel awful. Don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_1cyyzi", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "I accept your hours of sleep as compensation for doing the dishes", "post": "I don't know how, but it seems that every roommate that's not on here posting about how bad their roommates are, are bad roommates. \n\nI have two. Well, they're generally nice guys, but they're lazy as fuck and can't comprehend the shared space. One of them cooks just about every meal he eats. He also doesn't wash just about every dish he uses. And when he does, it's not really washed. The other one thinks that soap is IN the tap water so he just sprays stuff and puts it on the sink to dry. I've made several efforts to call attention to this device I found in the middle of a crop circle on a distant planet in the future called a *DISHWASHER* but these fucks don't understand it. \n\nAnyway, I always fill the dishwasher up and run it. I also always empty it. This happens once a week, sometimes twice. I usually give it a day after it has run to give my roommates a chance to take the initiative. They never do.\n\nSo, I began waking up at 6:30 a.m. My first task of the day has been to do the dishwasher. **Not** on my task list is to do this quietly. I've almost broken a couple of dishes by just not giving a fuck how much noise I make (i.e. *trying* to make as much noise as I can, i.e. playing basketball with the silverware when putting it in the drawer). I've done this 4 times so far. On the third time, one of my roommates came out - squinty eyed and word slurring (from having just woken up - that's not a race joke) - and asked me what the fuck I was doing. I said \"the dishwasher\". He wanted to know why I was doing it so God-forsaken early. I replied \"because this is when I want to do it. If you don't want it done at 6:30 in the morning, then do it yourself\". \n\nGuess who did the dishwasher this evening? Hint: it wasn't me.", "summary": "Roommates refuse to cooperate with dishwasher duties, so I started doing it at 6:30 a.m. until they finally got the picture and did it themselves, the ingrates."} {"id": "t3_33gat4", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "[Advice] New Dieter. Male, 26, 5'5\". SW: 272. CW: 267. Gonna just come out and say it: DIARRHEA", "post": "Alright, so before this diet, the last few years have consisted of a daily routine of processed meats (eggs and tons of bacon, sausage, etc.) for breakfast, fast food for lunch and dinner (I'm talking the works, burgers, sandwiches, nachos, greasy and cheesy burritos and pizza) and always with 28-40oz of Coke/Pepsi/Mountain Dew to wash it down. Yeah I ate veggies and fruits, sparingly. Never drank water really.\n\nFast Forward to April 15th, last week. Decided I'm sick of feeling tired and gross all the time. Gonna download MFP and track! \n\nHealthy cereals, egg whites and turkey bacon, measured portions, vegetable mixes, lean 97-99% fat free meats like turkey, and skim milk, cutting back on cheese and using light condiments, and also tons of fruit.\n\nAlso, 8-14 glasses of water a day.\n\n**Diarrhea**. Almost *every* day since I started. Today i shat almost pure liquid.\n\n**Is this something I should be worried about, or is it just the drastic diet change?** I'm eating about 1300-1600 calories a day and filling full and satisfied, probably from drinking 2 glasses of water before each meal (down from the 2500-3000+ I used to eat). Is my body adjusting or is this a problem? What do you guys think? Thanks for your time people!", "summary": "New Dieter from Complete Junk Food and Crap to Healthy Eating and drinking tons of water, but daily diarrhea. Normal? My body adjusting? Or should I rush to the hospital?"} {"id": "t3_2vh6li", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I tell my FWB [F 30] that I [M 25] don't want to be in a relationship with her unless she loses weight?", "post": "I've been friends with her since I started college at 21 and we are both seniors now and we have been FWB since the last 4 years on and off. Well she came over earlier in the week and talked to me about possibly dating and maybe having it turn into something long-term. The thing is, the way she has been, I never would think of her as someone I'd want to date. She isn't that fat (I would guess 160 lbs, 5'7'') but I date women that are more active and into physical activities that I like to do (mountain bike, jogging, swimming).\n\nPart of doing these types of things also gets you in shape. I would wish she would at least get a little more fit. I just don't want her to get the basic notion that I don't want to be with a fat chick. So, how should I talk to her about this, I had never had to deal with this kind of talk before and have no idea how I would bring it up.", "summary": "FWB wants to date, I think she is a nice fuck, but she's a little on the heavier side for me to want to date. How do I bring up the subject?"} {"id": "t3_fcc57", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Am I being unreasonable?", "post": "Just made an account, so I'm fairly new here. I've got a question for you, Reddit: First to say, i love my boyfriend very much, but there is just one thing i can't get over. He absolutely does not want to get his driver's license. I've got mine for over 10 years and i love being independent, and i would like to see him take some responsibility. For example: When we are on a holiday, we sometimes like to rent a car, but i do all the driving. I've tried asking him what would he do if something happened and i had to be rushed to the hospital. His answer; i'd call a cab or an ambulance. Ok, what if i'm stuck somewhere and need to be picked up? He'd call a cab or a friend.\n\nReddit tell me to stop being a nagging girlfriend or help me tell him to man up..", "summary": "Boyfriend does not want to get his drivers lisence, because he doesn't need it. What about responsibilities?"} {"id": "t3_34hlrr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (27M) tell my girlfriend (27F) that I'm uncomfortable with her new exercising habits?", "post": "Hey all. I don't know who to go to for advice, so I'm really hoping this sub can help me. I've been with my girlfriend for eight years. For as long as I've known her, she's had self-esteem issues, and she's really started to tackle them this year by going to the gym / taking yoga classes a lot. I'm proud of the effort she's putting in, but I feel she's started drifting away and prioritizing her workouts over spending time with me. \n\nI've told her all throughout our relationship that I will always exercise with her if she needs, and we have started doing aerobics and whatnot at my house maybe once or twice a week after I get off work, but she will still attend classes almost nightly. \n\nWhich also something that upsets me, that her classes are going later into the evening (7-9PM). I've never attended classes with her, I am insecure and uncomfortable about her schedule, and the feeling is just getting worse as weeks go by. I don't have any reason to think she's cheating on me or seeing someone else, but I just don't know anymore. \n\nWhat makes matters worse is that I've recently started working full-time and she's part-time, so I don't see her as often anymore, but she doesn't seem to acknowledge that I have less time to see her. I just don't know how to approach this subject with her. Everytime I do, she gets defensive, shuts down, and we end up not speaking for days. How do I explain all this to her in a civilized way? Thanks for your time and help.", "summary": "Girlfriend prioritizes working out to spending time with me and I don't know how to explain my feelings to her."} {"id": "t3_1apjnn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend (M20) has more or less lost his sex drive and I (M19) don't know what to do...", "post": "So the title is a bit misleading... He's not my boyfriend, but its more serious than just FWB. We've been together since last May, but took a 2 month break last summer (due to long distance) so we've been together for 9-11 months. Anyway, he seems to have recently lost his sex drive. We haven't had sex in about a month and I don't know what to do. Even when I try making out with him he either doesn't seem into it or participates for a bit and then just wants to sit there with me holding him. I have a very high sex drive, and I'm getting increasingly frustrated that my only release is masturbation (which is happening sometimes twice a day at this point, because it provides some release but doesn't really leave me fulfilled). We've talked about this a bit but it seems like nothing's changed since then. What should I do?", "summary": "the guy I'm with has lost his sex drive, I'm becoming increasingly horny/frustrated. We've talked but nothing really changed. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_ta67j", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I know the Nazis were terrible and all but...", "post": "I know the Nazis were terrible and all but how do they compare to other occupying military's through history? Sometimes I feel like we have been encouraged to hate them for obvious reasons. But at the same time I wonder how brutal they are compared to other regimes.\n\nI think to fairly compare them we should only look at the 'normal soldiers.' From what I heard the SS is mostly responsible for carrying out the Holocaust. Yet in movies and pop culture it seems like regardless of what kind of infantry/soldier/position the German guy is in he's always raping and pillaging.", "summary": "Have we been born into a Nazi hating culture where they aren't so different from most historical armies or were they really as bad as we make them out to be?"} {"id": "t3_32za6k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "A guy (20) who was interested in me (19F) suddenly isn't anymore, and I think I know why.", "post": "Sometime over the last year I realized that I really did not have a social life. I'd spend most free nights alone watching tv, which I thought I was okay with, but I have come to realize that I'm the sort of person that likes to socialize/be around people more often than not. Another consequence of being a loner for a long time is that while I have a facebook, there are pretty much no pictures or posts on it (this is important later). \nSo I made the effort over the past few months to talk to people more and make plans, and as a result I met a cute guy. He seemed really into me. We spent two days in a row together, went out for lunch, talked about our lives, etc. Then he started flirting more openly with me and suggesting that we go on more dates and spend more time together. It was sometime right after this that he sent me a friend request on facebook which I accepted, and then right after that, all talking between us pretty much stopped. When I texted him a couple days later he responded with short texts, and we haven't talked for a while. So I know this could be for a lot of reasons, but I have a feeling that he lost interest because of my lack of presence on social media. I'm 19, so everyone my age has hundreds of pictures on facebook with many friends. Someone having barely any pictures I guess seems off. I guess I just wanted to post this to see if there is any truth to this. I'm extremely new to dating and I don't know if this kind of thing matters, and I guess I just want some input from other people. I really liked this guy and I'd be pretty annoyed if this was something about me that made me seem strange or unlikeable to other people. At least then I could proactively fix it, either by trying to have more of a presence on social media or deleting it altogether.", "summary": "I'm new to dating and think that people might be getting turned off by the fact that I barely have a social media presence."} {"id": "t3_2zp3bc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(Not-Romantic) [F22] How do I convince my parents [M52] [F51] to let me medically withdraw from classes?", "post": "I should start off by saying that a medical withdrawal is not limited to physical ailments, and that my ailments are depression, PTSD (not military), anxiety and all-around lack of motivation. \n\nOut of all the things that I am involved in, university has been the most stressful thing in my life and I have been telling my mother this for years. I know that I need a break and need to come back much later when I am more mature and in control of my life. I am already seeking help via counseling and psychiatric help. I work out and am starting to eat healthy. I would say I am progressing. But I am not progressing at the rate I need to do well in school this semester. The Dean of Students recommended that I withdraw from the semester, and I believe he is right. \n\nMy parents are avidly against it. And I know, \"You are 22, you should be independent by now\" but my parents pay for everything. I know they will be so upset because student loans hurt and this will be a waste of money (a big heavy waste). I am overwhelmed with guilt and stress over it. \n\nI should also include my parents value education above anything else. When I used to get in trouble as a child, a punishment would be a well-written apology or an essay. When I got a dog as a 19 year old, I had to do a significant study and present it to them. Education is everything to them. The dinner table was not for \"silly day-to-day conversation\", it was politics and philosophy. I am interested in education, but this depression is debilitating.\n\nI should also say that while we are very close, my father is a very logical person; mental health is lost on him. He is one of those people who doesn't understand why I would cry over losing a friend or cry at all. So when I try to explain depression, he sees it as a chemical imbalance, so if I am on medicine the problem is with me being lazy or not trying hard enough.", "summary": "My GPA can't afford this semester, My mental health can't afford it either. My parents do not understand where I am coming from, how can I convince them?"} {"id": "t3_4p7ib2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17M] have a crush on a good friend [19F], worried about whether or not I should say anything...", "post": "Alright, this is silly shit but its eating me up inside.\n\nBack in February, I befriended an awesome group of people. We all share interests, all of them are incredibly friendly, and I feel very welcomed by them. Our ages vary, but all of us are 17-19. Problem is, I think I have a crush on one of these people.\n\nThis person is 19 and in college. They are Biologically female, but prefer to remain androgynous (most members of the group maintain this) which Im totally fine with, and identify them as such. There are a number of factors here that make me unsure about whether or not this is something that I should pursue, such as....\n\n- They are 2 years older then me\n- I'm worried that this would cause a rift in the friend group\n- I have never dated anybody before\n- I don't know if this person is the kind of person who likes to date people\n\nThese factors have all kept me silent. I mainly worried about how the group would react to this situation. We are all very close friends that tend to shun the sillier sides of being teenagers. I dont know whether or not that includes dating.\n\nI like this person because they are kind, funny, and we share enough interests that we have a rapport, but can still have interesting and surprising conversations.\n\nI'm not sure if they have any feelings for me. I know that they see me as a good friend. At one point they commented on how I had alot of interesting friends. I responded by saying \" Yeah, theyre interesting but I love all of them\". Afterwards they said that they loved me. I have no idea if that was the platonic-family-buddy-buddy kind of love that I had used to refer to my friends or if they meant something more by that.\n\nSo, does any of this sound like the basis for something meaningful? I'm absolutely lost as to how I should handle situations like this. \n\nOh, and it should be noted that this relationship would be considered perfectly legal in the state we live in, due to Romeo and Juliet laws.", "summary": "I like a really close friend that's 2 years older than me and I'm worried that trying to start a relationship might lead to me losing some good friends."} {"id": "t3_1jpjwr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Help! My boyfriend (24/m) logged into my (23/f) social media accounts without telling me & watched my activity. How do I handle this?", "post": "So here is the story: \n\nI (23f) have been with my boyfriend (24/m) for 2 years now. We have had some rocky issues currently but we have been trying to build our trust. \n\nI am currently using my social media to promote a product of mine and I've been in contact with a lot of people recently over social media. Absolutely nothing inappropriate has been said. \n\nWell, I found out today my boyfriend has been logging into my social media accounts WITHOUT telling me and has been monitoring my activity. I don't even know how he got my password! \n\nI told him a few days ago I think giving each other our passwords isn't healthy and it won't help us build that trust we need. \n\nWell, he found something along my conversations he didn't like (it was to another girl... Like I said, not inappropriate like flirting or whatever). He's SO mad at me about it... And he isn't even acknowledging what he did was wrong. \n\nHe calls me a liar and said he had to know the truth (seriously... What he found was a mistake in wording to this lady and it sounded like I was single). \n\nI have no idea how to go about this. I can't get one word in without being called a liar. I can't express how incredibly hurt/upset I am because he is upset at his findings. \n\nDo I have a right to be upset about him going thru my social media accounts behind my back, or should I be more willing to let him in like that? I seriously have no idea how I'm going to handle this", "summary": "Found out my boyfriend has been secretly logging into my social media behind my back and is trying to dig for things. He won't talk about what he did but rather what he found. Not sure what to do"} {"id": "t3_yl3bc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Have you ever been embarrassed by something your friends did in public?", "post": "I wandered into a McDonalds with my grandparents on a whim. Gran ordered two coffees and three ice-creams (one in a cup, two in a cone). A few seconds after ordering, my grandpa decides he doesn't want coffee after all! Instead of simply not drinking the $1 cup of joe, my gran asked the friendly register lady for a refund. There is a mix-up in communication and after a few minutes of fiddling with the register, the manager gives my gran a $1.07 refund for one of the ice creams, not the coffee. At this point there is a family in line behind us, but do my grandparents move? nope! They stand right in front of the register until our order comes, which they find is missing an ice cream and has an extra coffee. They call the manager back to redo the refund. After a bit more fiddling, he gives us the ice cream and takes away a coffee. I'm ready to get the hell out of there at this point because the family behind us is tapping their feet impatiently. I grab the coffee and 2/3 ice creams and sit down. My gran grabs the last ice cream, which was a cone because I had her cup-of-ice-cream at the table. She thinks they made another mistake and forcefully asks them to put the vanilla treat into a cup! They do, exasperated with my gran at this point. When she comes back to the table she realizes we now have two ice creams in cups and only one cone (which I'm happily munching on!). She once again cuts to the front of the line and asks for spoons and another cone, not a cup of ice cream. This really pissed me off. My grandparents were completely oblivious to the fact they were wasting everyone's time, they were only focused on themselves. So, when have you wished you could crawl under a rock in shame because of the inconsiderate things your family or friends have done?", "summary": "My gran wasted 20 minutes at a McDonalds trying to order coffee and ice cream while the family behind us waited impatiently."} {"id": "t3_3dazdq", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Credit Card question because Costco is ending partnership with Amex", "post": "With Costco ending its partnership with AMEX I was wondering what my options are in relation to the types of cards and I and what will happen the account I have with Amex.\n\nI have the following cards. I have autopay set up and pay them in full each month.\n\n* Amex \u2013 Costco\n* Visa \u2013 Amazon\n* MasterCard \u2013 USAA\n\nI spend the most money at Costco, so I need some type of card I can use at Costco for cashback purposes. If MasterCard is going to be getting Costco it seems to me my best option would be to switch my USAA MasterCard to USAA's new 1.5% cashback card and use that for all Costco purchases. I don't spend much on gas or restaurants so losing the 3% on gas and 2% at restaurants isn't a big deal compared to the .5% increase on all other spending.\n\nMy question is what happens to my credit score/account when my Amex is no longer in service with Costco and would it make sense to simply transition over to a no fee Amex card? then I could use the Amex for those higher cashback services such as grocery stores/gas?.", "summary": "should I switch to the USAA 1.5% card use that at Costco and not get the new Costco card? Then switch my Amex to a different no fee Amex such as everyday blue to keep that account open?"} {"id": "t3_3a1el2", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(21F/19M, 10mo) First (possible) breakup. It sucks.", "post": "Hey. My boyfriend and I have been arguing on and off for the past month... mostly him being angry with me, for things as simple as getting a higher score (English not his first lang.), putting my hand up to answer questions (not something you do in this culture), \"bossing\" him around when we work on projects etc. Mainly stuff revolving around school, where we take classes together. I compromised; don't put up my hand as much, and don't show him my marks. He admitted to being childish and would work on it.\n\nWe had the biggest argument last night, completely out of the blue. He kept on accusing me of being rude to make him angry, or being arrogant and bossy. I said \"I'm sorry, I didn't intend for you to feel that way.\" then explained to him my thought process during those moments. A lot of the stuff that made him angry was just him over-thinking and imagination. \n\nI understand that couples fight all the time, and its important for a relationship sometimes. But for arguing about petty things, name calling (bossy), accusations, having to be right, and be in control.... I'm just fed up with it. How he deals with these arguements, he never tries to come up with a solution with me. He just points fingers and vents. \n\nYesterday was the last straw. He said that I am the type person he hates the most when we are at school. I'm not going to tolerate being treated like this. After arguing for hours, I told him that I need space to think about the relationship. We haven't spoken in a day..... \n\nI really loved him. I still do. But he hurts me.... and I love myself too. \n\nCan anyone tell me their break up stories to make me feel not so alone?", "summary": "Arguing with boyfriend, are in 'break' mode currently, I might break up with him because of how he treats me. Stories? Advice?"} {"id": "t3_yjhnq", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Should I tell my ex about my depression? She keeps contacting me wondering how I'm doing. I was depressed before the split up.", "post": "I was depressed all last year, I did some things that I'm not proud of because I was in a really dark place. I almost cut myself during a fight, I got angry, I punched a wall once, I thought about killing myself a lot. I talked and did some things that really scared my girlfriend. We knew each other for 6 years, we dated for 2.\n\nMy girlfriend left me when I was really just gone at the end of last semester. I just ignored everything to help me study, because otherwise I would have failed. \n\nAnyway, I didn't even remember some of the stuff I did until recently, and have now only realized how depressed I really was. I've moved home for now, and I've gotten help, I'm now on medication and getting therapy. I haven't told her anything.\n\nI have her blocked on facebook and everything, but I know she's been checking up on me somehow or another. She started dating someone else soon after we broke up. I tried to talk to her about everything that happened just so I could remember it, so I could get better. She told me to stop calling her. \n\nThen a few weeks a go I got a haircut and posted it on my facebook. I know she doesn't socialize much so she'd have had to intentionally log off her facebook to see my account at all. She's been putting effort into checking on me, there were a few other times where she did things that constitute creeping on me. She's been asking my friends how I'm doing, though I don't think they've said anything. Anyway she texted me about it and has been asking other questions.\n\nShe doesn't know about the depression outside of just seeing how I was acting in general, I feel like an explanation might be in order. At least for me to have some peace of mind. We've known each other for years and this is just really strange, it's been months and I'm still not over it. I feel like a failure and I miss her so much.", "summary": "My depression led to the end of my relationship, my ex has been \"checking up\" on me. She doesn't know what's wrong with me and I want to tell her just so I feel like there's closure."} {"id": "t3_27gbjn", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "18M Need advice on asking a girl out, or maybe even if I should", "post": "So there's a girl (I'm in high school) I've been talking to for a while who's pretty unique. Usually I can get a decent read on a person's character and personality, but not with her. She just seems to operate differently and it makes me a little bit self conscious about things I would normally consider automatic signals of interest. She snapchats me, messages, or texts me on a daily basis, and she went to prom with me but we never asserted whether it was as friends or not, she hasn't \"friendzoned\" me yet, and so I've decided just to ask her out. I was wondering if you could give me advice on the situation? What's a good first date idea that is casual enough to have no pressure but cute enough to be obviously a date? Is it possible she thinks nothing of the amount of time we spend talking?\nSorry it was longwinded,", "summary": "I talk to a girl a lot, she's very different from other girls I know, I want to know a good way to ask her out and a chill thing we could do together"} {"id": "t3_m0hrj", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "Need very quick advice: Is Zanzibar a \"must-see\" destination?", "post": "I'm an American who was planning on visiting my girlfriend stationed in Zambia (Lusaka), then fly to Dar + Zanzibar for a 5-day tropical vacation + quick whirlwind 2-day safari. Plans are for next week, except I just learned that the airlines from Zambia->Zanzibar had their license revoked, in the past few days, and it's ~$500 more to rebook on a different carrier.\n\nSo, I have the option of staying in Zambia and saving ~$900 in flights alone, possibly more on hotels if we chose to stay in Lusaka. \n\nI suppose my question is, for those who have been to Zanzibar, am I missing out significantly if I forego Zanzibar? How \"replaceable\" is Zanzibar as a tropical destination with other places within reasonable flying distance of the West Coast of the US (eg. Caribbean, Hawaii, other islands in the Pacific ocean)? We would probably use the extra money we save for a nicer/longer safari in Lusaka, maybe go rafting near Victoria Falls, any other suggestions?", "summary": "As a tropical destination, how much of a \"once-in-a-lifetime\" experience is Zanzibar vs other tropical destinations?"} {"id": "t3_2mn7no", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by greeting Captain America", "post": "I went to Disneyland in Anaheim. A tad of background: I haven't been there in a while and I discovered the new exhibit featuring Captain America. Now first I saw the other exhibit called *Thor: Treasures of Asgard* which has props, swords actually used in the film that you can check out. After you look at the props Thor does a brief \"show\" and does a meet and greet with photo op, if you like. \n\nSo after seeing the Thor exhibit, I get in line for the Captain America exhibit. We wait in line for what felt like 25 minutes. At the end of the line you turn a corner then you can see the exhibit. After all that waiting, we turn the corner, and we see it's just Captain America and a photographer. My buddy and I thought we were waiting all that time to see movie props, costumes from the movie, etc.! In a New York minute they call us over to take a picture. We did not want a picture with Capt. America. I felt like saying, \"uhhh, there's no movie props?\" I was shocked, surprised, and trying not to laugh all at once, and my buddy was too. \n\n We greet Capt. America while trying to hide our surprise and save some face, but all he said the whole time was \"how's it going?\" like four times with little expression on his face! It was like he was stoned or something. I was at a loss for words and all I could muster was, \"my friend is visiting from out of state.\" That usually gets the character to say something different, but Capt. America answered, \"oh, how's it going?\" Before I left I saluted him military style like I saw in some photos of the Capt. He just looked at me with a blank expression! \n\nAs soon as we left the room, we started cracking up at our mistake. We also kept discussing why the Capt. almost couldn't think coherently. We thought the Capt. showed up to work either stoned, exhausted, or maybe he perceived our mistake. I kept laughing about it all afternoon.", "summary": "I wait in line forever to see movie props & costumes from Capt. America, and it ends up being only a photo and greet with Capt. America who was either stoned or exhausted."} {"id": "t3_204gmh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my GF [20 F] 7 months. I'm getting end-of-university nervousness", "post": "I was friends with my GF for 2 years at University and always had a crush on her, we finally got together over Summer after I became single and have been very happy for 7 months. I'm now in my last couple of months at University and I'm starting to have doubts over my relationship. I love my GF more than anything but I'm worried that I haven't had any time single since I came to Uni. \n\nI'm concerned that if I break up with her I'll massively regret it but if I stay with her, I think I'll regret not taking a chance to play the field. Can anyone provide any advice on what to do?", "summary": "Been with GF for 7 months, getting towards end of Uni, worried I'm wasting my best chance in life to mess around."} {"id": "t3_24inzk", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should I continue with College or start working?", "post": "Before I begin, I am attempting to write this for a second time, trying to fully express what I can do with my life. I would greatly appreciate any type of input on this matter.\n\nBackground info: \nI am 21 years old, currently enrolled at a local community college and already have earned an Associates degree in Applied Science, mainly focusing on Electrical Engineering (EE), but the program is considered as Electrical Engineering Technology (EET) in my Community College.\nAs I was completing the program and looked onto continue to a 4-year college, I was not accepted into that College, due to not fulfilling a requirement of completing and passing Pre-Calc.\nLast year, overall I had two poor semesters as I failed Pre-Calc twice and lowered my GPA. I am taking Pre-Calc for the third time, and am beginning to feel as I wasted my last two years and money, took out student loan. Also, I quit my part-time retail job I was going nowhere with in Jan 2014.\n\nCurrent position: \nIf I pass, I could re-apply to the 4-year College as a transfer student, but as an EET Major and would have to take additional courses to finish as an EE Major.\nOr stop going to College find a job related to my field, I remember a company visiting with our class providing career information.\nAnother option I thought about is to change my career goals, and perhaps continue College in Computer Science (CS) or learn how to Program, I've always had interest in computers and technology.\n\nMy last option would be to enlist in the military, as I always had in the back of my mind since High School.\nI just feel that for my age I should know what I want to do with my life, and almost be finished with school and start working. I am afraid of the social stigma of not having a Bachelors degree in a promising field and what disappointment I most likely cause to my parents.", "summary": "21, unemployed, have associates in Applied science but focused in EET, contemplating on not continuing with College to begin working, or to finish no matter what, feel like I dont know what my calling is."} {"id": "t3_3enye3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my BF [24M] almost 7yrs, took me to get my ring finger measured- I got excited, just discussed, not going to happen for another 2 years.", "post": "Hi all\n\nI have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years. We currently do not live together but are together a lot during the week and most weekends if I am not working (I work shifts).\n\nWe have spoken a lot about where we want our relationship to go - get engaged, buy a house, get married and then start a family.\n\nBack a few months ago we were out shopping and he took me into a jewellery shop and asked the shop assistant to measure my ring finger. This took me by surprise as I'd always assumed I'd not really know when he was planning on popping the question.\n\nHowever I was discussing with him earlier today what kind of timescale he is looking at for us living together (knowing that I/we wanted to be engaged before buying a house) and he said he can see us buying a house by the end of 2016/2017.\n\nThis took me by surprise as I really didn't think it would be that far away and it has me worrying.\n\nOne thing I have not mentioned is due to surgery complications in the past it is very unlikely I will be able to conceive naturally and will have to go through the IVF process to hopefully fall pregnant and my consultant has been pushing me to start trying for a baby for years but that isn't really possible without being married due to my families beliefs. Which he is fully aware of.\n\nHow do I discuss this with him and try to bring the date forward?\n\nThanks.", "summary": "BF of 7 years takes me for ring measurement, just found out not going to happen for another 2yrs-added time constraints due to fertility issues."} {"id": "t3_39dur9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24F] just found out I have herpes and told my BF [29M] of 2 months", "post": "Throwaway, of course.\n\nI noticed some bumps down there and decided to get it checked out by my lady doctor. After a blood test, she told me I have HSV 1 (normally oral, but mine is genital) that I could have gotten any time in the past. I freaked out about it for a few days and just told my pretty new boyfriend about it tonight, when we were together in person. I was SO NERVOUS, almost cried, but told him all the info I know from researching like crazy since I found out.\n\nHe was understandably shocked, asked me how I found out (thought I had ingrown hairs that didn't go away), if I know who gave it to me (nope), etc. etc. And then I told him to do some research himself and take a while to figure out how he feels about it, and he went home. I encouraged him to get tested himself, too. It seems like he really has no idea how to feel about it, since he didn't have much to say and only hugged me before leaving.\n\nI have no reason to think I got it from him (unless he didn't know he had it). He's given me no reason not to trust him about STIs/cheating/whatever. In fact, I'm more scared of passing it on to him if he wasn't a carrier in the first place. My doctor gave me so much info about how so many people have it and don't have symptoms and never know it. She says since it's type 1, I probably won't even have frequent outbreaks.\n\nI've been a nervous wreck the last hour since he left and I'm terrified he's going to think less of me or think the risk is too high to keep seeing me. I like him so much and I want to be able to work around it, but I'm so scared he's going to reject me. How do I go about this after dropping what seems like a huge bomb? I don't want to freak him out even more, since I've read a lot of other threads on here and it seems like a really manageable thing, but I don't want to down play that it's serious and gonna be around forever for me now.", "summary": "I have herpes, freaking out about what my bf thinks after telling him tonight. What do I do from here?"} {"id": "t3_22bbey", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23/M] on a 'break' with my girlfriend [21/F].", "post": "We always have the best time when we're together but her ex boyfriend is still in the picture and is causing problems. Everything about her is perfect except for the fact that she might still be hung up on him. Fair enough, we got into things too quickly maybe after she broke up with him but ...how can I salvage this? I feel like she doesn't appreciate me enough but she knows this. There was a lot of crying & hugging last night. In the five months that we've been going out, there hasn't been two days where we haven't seen each other, and not a single day where we haven't chatted on facebook or the phone or via text. But this break I said no seeing each other or talking for a week. Is this wise? She also isn't going to see or talk to her ex. I just don't know what else to do, I was almost going to break up with her last night but just couldn't ...it fucking sucks, in every respect she is out of my league, she's the most beautiful woman ever and our sexual chemistry is amazing and I'm thinking of breaking up with her and it hurts like nothing else. Any advice is welcome. I dunno, could relationship counseling help?", "summary": "We're on a break because that was the only option besides breaking up with her that I felt I had. What to do about the ex?"} {"id": "t3_1w95j8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my long distance boyfriend [20 M] of over 2.5 years, How do I get that overly romantic side out of him every once in a while?", "post": "In the earlier parts of our relationship he was soo incredibly romantic and I know everyone goes through that honeymoon phase and then the huge cheesy love messages eventually tone down.\n\nThe thing is looking back even a year or so into our relationship he would still drop in extremely sweet and romantic notes. Now it seems like that is a thing of the past. \n\nDon't get me wrong I know he loves me and that's part of my dilemma. I feel silly wanting these things because I already know he feels them, but at the same time I loved the feeling of being wooed early on. I loved being told I was beautiful and the best thing in the world. Now I get I love you's, you look cute and :*kissy faces which are nice, but I miss the occasional surprise message with all the romance. (Not to mention those things are really nice for someone in a LDR)\n\nHow can I get that back occasionally without sounding needy or dumb?", "summary": "Boyfriend and I love each other, been dating so long that a lot of the old romantic notes/texts are a thing of the past. I miss it on occasion."} {"id": "t3_4qzf9i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (29M) left my dog with my sister (23F) for the night. Didn't like what I saw when I picked dog up, sister says i'm pretentious", "post": "I left my 11 month old dog with my sister for the night of Canada day so she wouldn't have to be kennelled all day and night. I knew my sister would probably be out for a bit and that some people would be partying at her house. At the time I thought it wouldn't bother me.\n\nThe next morning I go in the back door. I knock on my sisters room door. She's not there, another friend slept in her bed. I grab my things and go look for my pup.\n\nMy dog was laying in the middle of the living room. There are two people passed out on the couches and one on the floor. The room is trashed and there are bongs and beer bottles all over the place.\n\nThe gross state of things as well as the fact that my sister wasn't even home bothered me. I start having ideas of young people blowing weed into her face or feeding her beer. Later that night I messaged her and asked \"Those kids didn't do anything weird with Milly, did they?\"\n\nMy sister freaked out. Calling me pretentious, telling me that i'm an asshole and this is why I have relationship issues. (I don't get very close to many people very easily like she does)\n\nI try to keep the conversation civil, but she refuses to even acknowledge that my worry could even be a reasonable response to what I saw. She claims things like \"one of those \"kids\" is in law school\". Maybe Milly was in fine hands and I really didn't understand context. I don't know if I can trust my sister to take care of my dog anymore if she this aggressively refuses to acknowledge that my concern is a legitimate one.\n\nAm I being unreasonable? Isn't it understandable that such a scenario would draw assumptions about the environment that may not be ideal for the safety of my dog? Was using the term \"kids\" really such a pretentious way of describing the situation that it should overshadow my initial concern?\n\nI'm not gonna lie, I don't like the kind of people my sister hangs out with, but that's nothing to do with the voice I concerned", "summary": "My sister left my dog with a bunch of drunk strangers. I called them kids and she's pissed that i'm so pretentious for saying so"} {"id": "t3_36sljj", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "[BREEDS] Wanting to get another dog, what breed?", "post": "I currently have a 65 lb GSD/rottie/husky mix, I also had a 20 lb bichon but he passed away last year. It's been a while but I think I'm ready to get a new dog. I live in an apartment but I'm not working or in college for the next year, after the year I'll be gone 9-12 for classes then be home the rest of the day so the dogs are rarely left alone. My GSD mix is very well trained, friendly and loves to play so I would like a small but sturdy dog possibly around 20-30 lbs. Also a dog that is easy to train would be great because I love to clicker train and do obedience. Any amount of drooling, barking, shedding is fine, I also have enough money for any grooming, vet care, etc the dog needs. Also even though I'm in an apartment I have a large park right behind me with plenty of fenced in areas and I usually take my dogs everywhere to visit family, etc(so a dog that's also good with children/other animals would be good too). The breed I've been thinking of getting is a Corgi but I want to see what other breeds people suggest or if they think a corgi would be the right fit.", "summary": "Good with other pets/children, great at obedience training, small but sturdy to play with gsd mix, fine with shedding/barking, will get plenty of exercise and rarely be left alone."} {"id": "t3_vee7r", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[19/f] thinks my boyfriend [20/m] has feelings for a girl he works with.. I think.", "post": "Some background: I'm 19, my boyfriend is 20, and we have been dating for a little over two years. Of our two year relationship it has been long distance for about 18 months (not consecutive), since we went to separate colleges.\n\nNow, I trust my boyfriend. A LDR is tough and we wouldn't have lasted two years without complete trust, however I'm starting to become nervous about this new girl he works with.\n\nMy boyfriend works at a pool and has a co-worker who I'll call Katie for the sake of anonymity. Basically, I have a gut feeling that he might have feelings for this girl. The first time he mentioned her was a week ago and the result of me asking him who had drawn all over the sidewalk with chalk. He said \"Oh, it was Katie\". Call me crazy, but the way he said her name made me stop for a second. You know how by simply saying someone's name, a person can show their fondness for someone? That's the way he said her name.\n\nLast night, we were hanging out with some of his friends and he brought her up twice. One of the times was her talking about a previous job, and another was a conversation that definitely sounded like they were flirting. Basically, she offered him a piece of her banana, he made a blowjob joke (immature, I know), and he thought he was really funny. By the way he told the story, it sounded like they were both flirting. \n\nAm I crazy? Is this woman's intuition, or am I just making a problem out of nothing? I realize that flirting is harmless, but as he's starting to bring her up more in front of me, I'm getting kind of worried.", "summary": "my boyfriend is bringing up a girl he works with more and more and the way he talks about her makes me think he has feelings for her"} {"id": "t3_1hsbe9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm an 18M about to meet an 18F crush at a summer camp. Advice?", "post": "I'm headed off to a summer camp next week, where I'll most likely meet a girl I now have a big crush on. I met her last year and got her phone numer, so we talked a little but I stopped texting because I'm dumb and figured she probably wasn't interested, lived over an hour away, and was most likely headed to a different school for college. Now the camp is about to start again and I just found out we are actually headed to the same college!\n\n I'm super excited to see her again, but I'm afraid there will be awkwardness between us because we stopped talking (again, i'm *really* stupid) and also because i'm naturally quiet around people i'm not familiar with. \n\nSo, my question is; What can I do to make sure my interest in her is clearly communicated considering my past encounters with her?", "summary": "I'm meeting a crush I haven't talked to in almost a year at a summer camp, how can I keep this from being awkward?"} {"id": "t3_3vdamd", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "(US) Urgent! Lost wallet with social security number (not the card itself). Took (some) appropriate measures, but would like second opinions and advice", "post": "Sorry if I'm violating any rules on this subreddit; this is my first time using reddit itself, so once again I apologize.\n\nAs you can tell from the title, this is pretty urgent; I lost my wallet earlier in a college lecture hall. Didn't contain any cash, I cancelled the debit card as soon as I realized I lost it - but I had my college ID, US Passport Card and a slip of paper with my SSN on it. I've filed for fraud alert through Experian and Equifax online, and Trans Union by phone (although they request that I mail a form, even after I gave them my info). I'm hesitating on filing for Innovis; I know they're important as well, but to be frank, I'm scared of what may happen to my credit score. I'm heading to the local precinct to file a report as soon as I finish posting. I'd just like to know, then, what am I at risk for - and what are the chances of identity theft/ credit fraud?\n\nAs to why I had written my SSN down; I wrote it years ago and just never took it out, in fact I even forgot it was in there.", "summary": "Lost wallet with SSN on post-it (not the card itself); filed fraud alert w/ the Big 3 and a report with the police. What other measures I should take and what are the chances of fraud/ ID theft?"} {"id": "t3_1xvej4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] do not get along with my boyfriends friend [22M] he is always interrupting my life", "post": "My boyfriend's friend, M, is an asshole. A few months back he basically told me I was a shitty person and I was disturbing him. Of course instead of letting me know he didn't like what I was saying he just stopped stowing up to group dinners that we have every week. He finally comes out and tells me this. The end result of that was I play nice in public and he doesn't disrespect me by calling me names in the middle of dinner\n\nMy boyfriend has a twin who had M over. My boyfriend and I were watching a movie and having a romantic night. M just invites himself to sit down during our movie and talk to my boyfriend. After he left the room my boyfriend and I were just talking and M yells down comments to us about our conversation. \n\nFF to today. A mentor of mine invited a few of us to dinner this weekend. He verbally told all he wanted to come. M had a birthday dinner with my boyfriend and their friends and someone probably mentioned that they were going for wings this weekend. He was not invited though we go to wings once a week as our group dinner. \n\n\"(restaurant) is a private event. Sorry about that!\" <---good idea?\n\nI don't know how to handle myself around this guy. He's 22 and he cannot seem to respect my relationship with my boyfriend or me. I really want to tell him off and let him know he was not invited. If he does end up going I will say something to piss him off because I cannot not keep my mouth shut.", "summary": "this guy started a fight with me and since then has been a jerk. He just invited himself to a group dinner which he did not receive an invitation to. Call him out?"} {"id": "t3_2sh42o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16M] with my Possible Crush/Friend [14F] of a few weeks is upset with someone, what should I say?", "post": "Emily and myself were at a swim practice. We were working out with the team, talking and laughing occasionally, when coach writes up a very difficult set on the board. It starts out fine, but since Emily has shoulder problems, she gets out periodically to stretch. \n\n Coach has a history of not really putting himself in Emily's shoes when it comes to understanding her limitations. He talks to her at the end of practice about \"not putting in enough effort\" and \"taking too many breaks.\" This, obviously, was very upsetting to her. I am at a distance getting ready to leave, while she walks to the door talking to her friend about what happened.\n\n *Here's the tough part,* on the way out I just WALKED BY while she talked to her friend without saying anything. Didn't stop to listen or ask if she was ok. Kicking myself for not stopping, but I don't even know what I would have said if I did.\n\n \n My question is, what do I say now!? I have the option to text her now or tomorrow. If I do, I can ask if she's ok, but she'll remember I totally ignored her before. I just don't want to loose a friendship here, she's really an all around inspiring, kind, and great person I'd love to know better.", "summary": "Emily is upset at coach after swim practice, I don't ask if she's ok, she leaves upset. I don't know what to say to comfort/encourage her via text, or even if I should say anything."} {"id": "t3_1jja6s", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can HSV-1 (herpes via kissing) cause urinary pain like HSV-2 can?", "post": "Throwaway account. Here's the details. They're quite juicy. \n\nI was in a nightclub the other night and a random girl came up to me and started making out with me (wait a second, I'm not as lucky as you think). I was such in shock I didn't do anything. It lasted for about 5-8 seconds and stopped when she told me she needed a smoke outside and left me. Today (48 hours later), I've felt the worst pain urinating I've ever had in my entire life. All we did was make out, is it possible that I can have urinary pain from HSV-1 or is that urinary pain just from something else?", "summary": "can I get urinary pain from receiving HSV-1 via making out with a girl? I'm not sure if I have herpes or not."} {"id": "t3_snou9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I think I'm experiencing professional burnout from months of workplace bullying/stress. I'm 18, what can I do to save my job?", "post": "Hi Reddit, I'm an 18 year old Australian that works in web development.\n\nThere are deadlines every week, but I started to get really stressed when workplace bullying started at the beginning of the year.\n\nIt's been an intense battle, but I think it's a time of peace at the moment.\n\nI've had stress attacks, trouble sleeping, depression, anxiety, etc...\n\nI've recieved my second warning letter from work; and the entire letter is utter bullshit. I sent an email back, defending myself, basically saying it's bullshit in a nice way.\n\nWhat can I do to get back into the \"flow\"? I'm about a week and a half behind on every project. My work are the sort of people that freak out if I'm even a few hours behind.\n\nFor the last week and a half, I have sat in my office, doing absolutely nothing. I just stare at the blank screen, grow bored, and google something.\n\nI thought that I was apathetic, and lazy in the beginning, but I think it's professional burnout. I just don't care anymore about anything. I've neglected my social life, spend all of my spare time writing letters to counter work's warning letters, and had trouble sleeping.", "summary": "I do nothing at work all day, I think it's related to months of workplace stress. I'm 18, I want to work happily."} {"id": "t3_npgdc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need helps with devising hints for my GF to figure out her gift...", "post": "One of the gifts I got my GF for Xmas was a new video card for her computer(She is a gamer.) she had a shitty card before and had to play all her games on low. 2 weeks ago I installed the new card for her went into her games and cranked all her graphics to high. \n\nUnfortunately since then she hasn't touched Skyrim and only plays CIV V which even though I cranked the graphics she didn't notice.\nNow since she has yet to figure this out I want to devise a series of riddles/hints that she needs to go through in order to find out what her gift is. Unfortunately I keep drawing blanks on what hints/riddles I can use.\n\nI figured reddit could help me out in devising this so post any suggestions you may think of. Thanks!", "summary": "Got GF video card for Xmas, need to devise hints/riddles that she needs to solve to figure out what she got."} {"id": "t3_12yirg", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Looking for insight : How do you estimate the cost of life in another country ?", "post": "So basicly, I'm French. \n\nIn France, we have about 20% charges on the \"brut\" salary, which then gives us the real remuneration. For example, if your remuneration is **30k\u20ac/year**, that will make you **24k\u20ac/year real remuneration** (or 2k/month).\n\nHowever, I've recently obtained a job interview for what could be a dream job in the gaming industry in **Ireland**.\n\nSo obviously one of the first questions I had to myself was : \n\nWell, how can I know what will the life cost in another country ? That way I would know better what to ask as a salary during my job interview.\n\nOther than that, there is a lot of information to be found (like the cost of a flat, the taxes, etc) and I have only 2 days to get everything.", "summary": "I have a dream job opportunity in Ireland but I cannot estimate correctly the cost of life in another country and thus be sure of what to ask as a salary."} {"id": "t3_hnjsq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Worried about getting thrown out of my apartment, anything I can do?", "post": "I've been in my apartment on a 12 month lease for about 4 months. It's my first place out of college and I really like it. In like the second month I got a call from my landlord that I had gotten complaints about noise. I am a pretty laid back guy, don't blast music and just come home from work mostly and hang out so I was a bit confused. I asked her to be more specific about what was noisy etc, she said she didn't know but I apologize and it was no big deal. \n\nFast forward to memorial day weekend. I had some friends over to pre-game and then we walked to a bar so we could just walk home. We got shit faced. When we got back I passed out in bed but apparently everyone else kept partying. I woke up the next morning, apartment trashed, bathroom covered in shit, literally, and my friends tell me the cops came on a noise complaint.\n\nI wrote a note on my door apologizing to my neighbors and explaining that it was my guests and it will never happen again, blah blah, and I also wrote my landlord an email but I'm kind of freaking out.\n\nI am worried I will get thrown out because it's not my first complaint and they must have been really fucking obnoxious to get the cops called. Is there anything I can do to make this right or to remedy the situation?", "summary": "got the cops called on me and it's my second noise complaint in my relatively new apartment, worried about being evicted."} {"id": "t3_3sig66", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [21M] having trust issues with my GF's [22F] family, what do I do?", "post": "My girlfriend and I live together in a two bedroom apartment near the college that we both attend. Her family is big, with 9 kids, and very poor. They all grew up in a very small town and have what I would consider a \"small town mentality\". They're uneducated, ignorant, and seem helpless when they're not in their small hometown. Many of them are perfectly nice, but it's quite difficult to hold a conversation with anyone in her family; I can't relate to them at all (which can be difficult, as you might imagine).\n\nMy main issue with them is trust. Once in a while she'll have one of her sisters come and stay in our extra bedroom, which is fine. My issue is that I feel worried leaving them here alone, or with a key to get in when I'm not around. I come from a family that's well-off, and I have a lot of rather nice things in my apartment. I don't *think* that anyone in her family would steal from us, but I also wouldn't be surprised if they did, or invited someone over who did. They aren't street-smart at all, which is a whole different issue.\n\nHow do I deal with this? Am I wrong to worry when one of my GF's sibling is staying here? I don't want to mention it to my girlfriend, as it would probably make her feel ashamed of her background, or mad that I don't trust her family.", "summary": "My GF lives with me and comes from a poor small-town family. I'm afraid my nice stuff might get stolen when they stay the night at our apartment."} {"id": "t3_3l4kt4", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[NJ, USA] Concerning a merit bonus for an employee who is leaving the company. Not sure if this is a matter of law or only company policy.", "post": "I've been working as a permanent full time employee (first shift) for a large corporate chain for several years and recently received a much better full time job offer at a different company. I accepted the offer and put in two weeks notice at my current job. This was only a few days ago, so I have not yet switched over to the new job. \n\nHere's where it gets complicated. Around the same time I got the offer (but before I put in my notice), my current employer congratulated me on a job well done and told me I'd be receiving a merit bonus at the end of the month. There are no attached obligations stated; it is a reward for past work. \n\nI was concerned that I may lose the bonus if I leave the company before receiving the bonus, since my two weeks notice ends a few days before the bonus is set to arrive. So I asked my manager (who has always been fair to me) what I should do about this. He informed me that company policy states that yes, in order to receive the bonus I do have to be currently employed on the day it is deposited. \nHe was understanding enough to allow me to extend my notice another week and burn the candle at both ends; I'd continue working for the company as a part time second shift worker during my first week at the new job (which is first shift). \nI was blown away by this willingness to help, obviously. However he seemed a bit apprehensive about how the corporate payroll department may react and he advised me to work as many hours as possible (preferably 30 or more) during that final week. \n\nSo I guess my question is.. is this entirely up to the company or is there any legal protection here? Is it possible/legal for some HR guy to notice that it's my final week and just cancel the bonus to save the company some money? \nAs long as I remain employed when the bonus arrives, does my part time/full time status matter? Does working more than 30, 40 hours help me at all?", "summary": "When an employee is selected for a merit bonus, is there *any* legal obligation whatsoever or can the company freely revoke it when they see that the employee intends to leave the company?"} {"id": "t3_4ymhrj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [50 M] with my gf [30 F] duration. I'm not right for her, but she doesn't see that.", "post": "I've been married. She's a virgin Christian waiting for marriage. I'm...not. We've dated a couple years. I've been clear that I don't want children and don't really want to be married again. I think she's hoping I'll change my mind.\n\nWe've almost broken up several times, but keep wanting to be together and are compatible in most ways. I truly love her; I know she loves me. I love being with her and all the things we do together.\n\nBut I feel like I'm ruining her life if I don't break up with her. She's told me multiple times that she knows I am \"the one\" for her and wouldn't want anyone else if we broke up. *I* know that isn't true, but I don't know that she sees that from where she is in life now.\nI wish we never started dating, but I wouldn't miss what we've had for anything.\n\nThis is truly tearing me apart, and I want to end this as gently and caringly as possible. I've been going around in my mind about this for months.\n\nSo, Reddit, how do you tell the woman you love that you don't want to marry her?", "summary": "She loves me desperately. I love her too. I can't marry her. How do I tell her without hurting her too much?"} {"id": "t3_we88h", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "AskReddit: What is the oddest encounter you had with a girlfriend's friend?", "post": "When ever I hang out with a girlfriend in their separate circle of friends it is usually pretty awkward picking up on their inside jokes or gauging their comfort levels with various conversation topics.\n\nRecently I was traveling across the country with my girlfriend and we stopped to talk to many of her friends and mine along the way. We meet up with one of her friends that is always obsessing over guys, and then complaining about how she cannot find Mr. Perfect.\n\nShe goes on to talk about how she met a guy that slept with her and then she stole his underwear. She went on to say that every time she is in the bathroom it is like their smells come together as one. We were sitting at a restaurant and as soon as the waiter leaves us she lifts up her dress to show that in fact she is wearing the underwear right that second. I about died.", "summary": "Her friend was bragging about how she slept with a guy and stole his underwear so she could let their scents mingle."} {"id": "t3_4khmv8", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by handling cramps the wrong way.", "post": "So this just happened this very morning.\n\nI was peacefully sleeping on my bed at around 6 A.M , when i slowly began to wake up. Naturally, I move my limbs slowly as the morning light reaches my eyes.\n\nUnfortunately, i moved my legs a bit, and a overwhelmingly painful cramp that makes you think you are dying type of cramp sparked on the back of my lower right leg.\n\nTo make matters worse, I literally lost my mind and immediately stood up from my bed to try and not feel the pain (standing up really relieves my cramp).\n\nFast forward 8 seconds later and I'm hearing ringing inside my ears and I'm losing vision, and i'm forced back to bed with my leg still aching.\n\nA few moments later I began to feel my heart becoming heavier and I was literally exhausted from that cramp moment. When I finally woke up I hardly could move without feeling my heart aching.\n\nAs I'm typing this, the best thing I can do is just stand in front of my PC screen and hope that tomorrow I'll feel better than now. I've discarded any plans to go out today as well, don't want to put my heart into working.", "summary": "Had cramp on my leg, suddenly woke up to relieve it, now I'm stunned for the day with my heart feeling heavy."} {"id": "t3_2b1tfz", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Scolded at the dog park for leash pulling.", "post": "As I was walking to the dog park, my dog (Still a puppy) tried to pull on the leash. I kept him on a short leash and stopped walking. Whenever he tries to pull forward I stop and the walk doesn't continue until he comes back and the leash loosens. \n \nA woman saw me standing there not letting him pull and scolded me telling me I was doing it wrong and I'm going to end up with an aggressive dog if I continue to do that. \n \nI explained I didn't know how her dog was and that children had just walked by and I don't want him pulling or jumping on people. She insisted that I was treating my dog poorly and turning him into an aggressive dog. The ONLY aggression he shows is towards food. (new development...halp)\n\nI also had an arm in front of his chest when I was trying to get his harness off because he was jumping and incredibly excited to be at the park, she told me that would make him aggressive as well.\n\nAny truth to any of that?", "summary": "Random woman told me having a dog on a short leash makes dogs aggressive and to let them pull and don't hold a dog when taking a leash off because it too makes them aggressive. Truth to it?"} {"id": "t3_4ygn5a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Opinion on (20F) never dating anyone?", "post": "I'm 20 years old and I've never dated anyone. It kind of hurts me when people say, \"Wow, really? You haven't even kissed anyone?\" \n\nAnd the answer is no. Never kissed. Never loved and never have been loved. \n\nI don't think I could handle a relationship. I'd love to be with someone but I don't think anyone views me in that way. I've never had a guy even look at me in that way. \n\nThis might sound weird but I don't want to be a burden to someone? No one wants to date someone with daddy issues, and I have a few. I just don't think I can provide what other people deserve. I know what you're thinking, \"oh she sounds depressed\", nope just being honest! \n\nIt kinda makes me sad to see happy couples. I love that they're together don't get me wrong, but I envy it. No one thinks of me in that sense. I've always just been the good friend.\n\nWhat do you guys/gals think? Would you honestly date someone that had \"daddy issues\"? Any hope for me?", "summary": "not trying to be a sob story. Don't think I'm relationship material because of emotional issues and or people not looking at me that way"} {"id": "t3_3l3qkr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24F] boyfriend [23M] of a year and a half doesn't say \"I love you\" during sex.", "post": "First reddit post EVER here, so bear with me.\n\n My boyfriend and I have a fantastic relationship. We live together, are very open and communicative in our relationship and have a lot of fun together. He is not a quiet or shy guy in the least, and we say \"I love you\" frequently, but the few times I've ever muttered \"I love you\" during sex, he has never verbally responded. \n\nAny thoughts on this? Like I said, we have a great relationship so this isn't really keeping me up at night but I'm wondering if anyone else has this problem. Maybe he associates the act itself with love anyway and feels like saying it would be redundant? I've kind of stopped saying it during sex at all for fear of making him uncomfortable.", "summary": "My boyfriend has never said \"I love you\" during sex. I have a few times, but he never verbally responds."} {"id": "t3_1ywzyg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (24/f) and my problem with overtexting", "post": "Hi reddit. I'm a longtime lurker, first time poster. So I have a problem. I have this tendency to overtext. Always with someone with whom I have a romantic interest in. Like a lot of other young people my age, I have tried online dating. Now, this is always fine at first. The problem doesn't start until we exchange phone numbers and begin to text. I tend to start to kind of panic after the person has not responded to my text within an hour. This leads to me sending them a barrage of text messages until they either ignore me altogether or tell me that they're no longer interested. Now, I am well aware of the fact that this is a problem and I NEED TO STOP. The problem is, I don't know how. I just get so anxious and I become convinced that I must have said or done something that makes it so that the person is no interested in me. I have anxiety issues, I know that. I guess that I'm just really looking for advice on what others do when they have this urge to text someone. How do you get yourself to stop?\n\nI just feel like I've destroyed so many potential relationships with this. Not to mention the fact that it's also destroyed existing relationships that I've had. Honestly, this is a problem. And I feel so stupid about it all. I really need to stop.", "summary": "Start flirting with someone that I like, then we start to exchange text messages and I overtext and scare them away."} {"id": "t3_1ranmu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Opened up a can of worms that I shouldn't have", "post": "So I(17m)been friends with this gir(19f)l for about 3 years and at one point it got serious but it wasn't long lived. Now this girl is beautiful really is but she is the most needy most constant center of attention that I can't handle it. I want us to be Friends but no more and she has diabietes and she is 110 but cried for a day cause she gained 3 pounds.I know I'm sounding insensetive but Its to much now.\n\n She is constantly going to the hospital because she might die and its a lot of stress on me every time. And I've told her hey I just am not looking for a relationship but she doesn't get it. So about a year ago she left moved and we kept in touch but I we stopped talking around 6 months ago, and I immediatly thought the worst.\n\n But now we are in touch again and I honestly wished we werent. I feel horrible to say this but its the truth and I feel that because of her shitty home situation she needs someone and I feel obligated to be that person as much as I don't want to as we speak I'm talking to her.", "summary": "Again this girl whom I really don't want to know is back in my life and I was stupid enough to bring her in. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_gtbzf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "TIR my roommate is a bad human and so I vent.", "post": "Background: I'm a liberal dude living with an uncaring dude in San Francisco.\n\nMy roommate and/or his girlfriend don't recycle in my apartment, despite keeping a recycling bin next to the trash can. About two weeks ago I found an un-rinsed Prego jar in our garbage. This prompted me to text him about it. I am passive-aggressive.\n\nDerp: \"Do you guys not recycle? I can get a bigger bin if that's a problem.\"\n\nRoommate: [no reply ever]\n\nOne week later, I found an un-rinsed can of refried beans in the trash. Three nights ago I found a *half-full* can of Diet Coke in there.\n\nI was feeling inspired (high) so I took out a pencil and some markers and drew this bad boy:\n\nI got really into it, which was refreshing for me because I haven't drawn anything with inspiration in a long while. Added in Wall-E because he's a boss.\n\nI came home today to find my roommate cleaning in the kitchen, and to my mild-surprise, my piece of art was missing.\n\nDerp: \"Are you serious?\"\n\nRoommate: \"What?\"\n\nDerp: \"My drawing. Where is my drawing?\"\n\nRoommate: \"That was a really douchy thing to do, man. First you text about it, and now you do this?\"\n\nDerp: \"WHAT THE F---! WHERE IS IT?!\"\n\nRoommate: \"There (motions to recycling bin)\"\n\nI went digging into the recycling bin in front of him, then into the trash to find it crumbled in a ball at the bottom (tossed out bits of trash here and there for flair).\n\nDerp: \"I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!\"\nRoommate: \"yeah well i'm pi...\"\nDerp: \"I DREW THIS!\"\n\nStorm to room. Exit stage.\n\nI'm going to look for a new place. I've lost all respect for this dude. Questions? Comments? Thanks for reading!", "summary": "My roommate and/or his girlfriend don't recycle, so I crafted an eco-friendly drawing to place over our recycling bin and my roommate threw it away and told me I was a douche."} {"id": "t3_2jxtt0", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU because I had a boogie", "post": "Happen last night. I just drop this wonderful beautiful girl at home, but I must confess what happen during dinner. We were having a great time. Laughing and playing around. She was just as immature as I am. We were telling stupid jokes and all and when the waiter came by to delivery our food she mention the he looks like a gyarados from pokemon and I lost it. \n\nNow for the record I just got over a cold and my nose was a bit stuffy and I took some cold medicine which in turn dried my nose up. I felt the boogers were loose but I didn't blow my nose like a normal human being. With that said that hard laughter became my down fall. I felt this booger leave my nose and hit her French onion soup. The terror I felt when I saw the splash. The horror when I notice she didn't see it. The relief that I was in the cool. The panic of telling her what just happened. The disgust I felt when I watched her eat the soup. The fuck I gave afterwards because I cannot tell her what happened. I pretended nothing happen and continue our date. \n\nAt the end of the night she wanted a kiss. I told her I still felt the affects of my cold and said we will kick it another time. \n\nI will not be calling her again. Woe is me.", "summary": "I had a date with this amazing woman. She mad me laugh so for that a booger flew into her soup. Too scared to tell her. Watch her eat it all and will not be seeing her again."} {"id": "t3_1h0s3t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16m] went on a double date today. She left early(will explain in text box) she hasn't responded to my texts. What do I do?", "post": "By texts i dont mean a mass sending of texts just 2 texts.We went to the mall today to just walk and get something to eat, we held hands hugged and were really playful. She was with her friend who was with my brother and for some reason her friend brought her little sister.\n\nHer sister had to leave early for a surgery(what I was told and if I remember correctly she told me that her friend's sister had to go to the doctor) and she said she'd be back but she called me and said they have to go too for support. \n\nNow it's understandable that my date had to go as well because her friend was the ride. I texted her after she left saying it was fine I understand. \n\nShe asked if we were leaving the mall I said yes and she said \"oh ok\"\nNow she isn't a enthusiastic texter and always texts short and breif messages. I texted back saying \"I enjoyed the time we had spent together though and I hope we can do it again.\" \n\nShe said yeah me too and then I texted back and she never answered. It's 12 am here and that was at 3pm. She's probably busy but I have a habit of fucking things up so Im just worried that it may be finished. Should I attempt to text her again in the morning or early afternoon? What should i take from this? Sorry for the long post.", "summary": "went on a double date, she left early with her ride because of a doctors apt. We texted for about 5 minutes then she never responded."} {"id": "t3_3gp0hl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25M], still an undergraduate student but it's tough dating people who already graduated and are working.", "post": "So I'm 25, and I'm still an undergraduate student, about to be a senior. I took 3 years off because something happened in my life when I was 18. I don't regret it and I'm happy where I am right now in life.\n\nFirst I want to say that I am Indian, and I'm particularly interested in dating Indian girls mostly. However, where I'm from(San Francisco), like 99% of them expect a lot from a man and need them to be particularly stable when it comes to jobs and salaries. Most would look down at a guy who is still an undergraduate student and doesn't even have a job yet. Like literally all my friends have jobs now and are doing great things(engineers/doctors) while I'm still fairly behind in life.\n\nSo my question is this, what can I do to help myself here with my dating life? I have seen girls straight up ignore me once they found out I'm still an undergraduate. It's a shitty feeling but I can't do anything about it. Is there something I can do to help my cause? I'm doing well in school and I'm looking forward to graduating and joining the workforce but this dating life is just kind of a bitch for me, and it kind of always has been.\n\nAny guidance would be appreciated. Thanks.", "summary": "Still in undergrad at 25. Lowers my social value and thus girls don't want me. Need advice on how I can tackle this matter."} {"id": "t3_23y84c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[22 M] asked my GF [21 F] if it is alright if I ask her for blow jobs...", "post": "So after seeing a meme about girls on their periods giving their SO blow jobs to satisfy them while they can't have sex I laughed at the idea because my gf would never do such a thing. Currently we are long distance but we see each other for a few weeks a few times a year. So I asked her if it would be okay if on occasion I asked her for a bj, which she rarely gives in the first place. I didn't even mention the period thing.\n \n\nShe ignored my question and told me something about her sexually that isn't relevant to the conversation. We talked for a little bit while I was still wondering why she didn't answer me and so I asked her about ignoring me earlier in the conversation as she was getting off the phone. She blew up at me telling me she pretended I hadn't said that because the question is \"off-putting\" and I am making sex into something of a trade or commodity. I didn't intend to do that at all and obviously anything we do sexual is a personal thing between us so for her to say this hurt me. I told her that a simple no at the time of the question would have sufficed and she told me that if I didn't want to talk about it I shouldn't have asked.\n\nI felt like she made me out to look stupid in front of 'us' and now I don't really believe that she has ever wanted to do anything sexually to please me. We rarely ever get to spend time together so it's not like this is a question i'm going to be asking all the time. At this point however it's something I would never ask. I don't know how to tell her that this has made me very suspicious of her and if she loves me for selfish reasons or what.\n\nAm I being childish or is she because I know it's one of us?", "summary": "Asked my gf if I can ask her for bj when I feel like it she blew up at me and made me feel insecure."} {"id": "t3_3xmwzi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've [23 F] kind of been hooking up with a guy [23 M] 1 month, having trouble reading his intentions", "post": "A month ago I met a guy and we immediately hit it off. We do have a lot of shared interests, but we ended up hooking up the first week and the sexual chemistry is like nothing I've ever felt before. Now every time we hang out we have sex and I was ok with a purely sexual relationship at first, but some of his actions have got me second guessing myself. \n\nHe insists I stay the night, he likes to cuddle the entire time we sleep and for hours after we wake up, he always kisses me goodbye and randomly when we hang out (sometimes just on my head or hand), he always responds to my texts promptly and he sends me snap chats throughout the day while we are at work to wish me a good day. Hanging out is usually watching movies and playing video games with or without his friends. At the same time he rarely initiates texting, his texts are mostly one word, and we haven't been on a \"real\" date. \n\nI was content with letting this ride out in whatever direction it may since I was having fun, but when I left this morning I found a piece of a condom wrapper on a table in his room that wasn't the kind we have ever used. We haven't really had a talk about being exclusive and we've only been seeing each other for a month so I'm not upset with the idea that he is having sex with other people, but it really got me thinking about where the relationship is going. \n\nI'm not sure if it's too soon to have the talk, but I feel like we should since we are sleeping together. All of the (very few) other relationships I have been in were much more straightforward so I have never been in a situation like this. I really do like him a lot, I need some advice. What would I even say?", "summary": "I started hooking up with a new guy, found evidence that he was hooking up with other people too, and I don't know if/how to have the \"where is this going\" talk. Need advice."} {"id": "t3_3svxhl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (17 f) boyfriend (18 m) for two months is choking me but not literally I NEED SPACE", "post": "So hi, I have a problem or maybe I'm making a big deal about this but whatever... so I have boyfriend, we've been together for 2 months only and to me he's just amazing and he taught me things like mature stuff, he's 18 and I'm only 17 but he's really experienced and nice and cool and beautiful and every other thing else but...\n\nSo I broke up(?) I don't know if thats the right term but yeah, I broke up with my bestfriend because she told me the guy was a bad influence on me and after that its like everything she says was against him and I was so angry so I told her that our friendship was over. And I don't have any friends now except for my boyfriend's bestfriend which is a guy and yeah so everything in my life now is linked with him and we're not fighting or anything its just that I feel like I can't breathe anymore, I need space, but as I said everything in my life now is connected to him. I love him but I need something to myself... its my fault in the first place, I let him own me but now he's becoming a bit strict and wants me to stay by him always and I'm choking, I can't breathe.", "summary": "my boyfriend (18 m) for two months is changing, becoming more strict and his strictness is choking me, i need space, but everything i have is linked to him"} {"id": "t3_1nvbsw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22M] I need an opinion on how to handle my roommates chipping in for the house [22,22,23M]", "post": "About six weeks ago I bought a moderately priced couch for our family room under the assumption that others would also contribute to furnishing our house (ie. chairs, tables, etc.), and so far no one else has chipped in. I understand that money is tight, but I feel that I got a little boned. It's frequently used by all. \n\nThe issue I'm now having is that I want to move my couch into my room, as it would fit perfectly and make the space much more comfortable. I've been somewhat distant with them lately, sometimes butting heads over petty issues, and I don't want to make it seem like I'd be moving it out of spite (although I do feel underappreciated). And if I move it, there will be no real furniture in our family room, and they will definitly get pissed off. I don't want to damage our already shakey friendship.\n\nI don't have the money to buy another couch or whatever, so I don't know what to do. Any advice? Should I take it into my room until they contribute something?", "summary": "Is it wrong to move our only piece of furniture (that I bought) out of the family room and into my room?"} {"id": "t3_17c1le", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/f] Boyfriend (21/m) thinks I'm not sexually attracted to him?", "post": "Hi,\n\nMy sex life with my boyfriend is a bit lackluster. We are both in school and we don't end up having free time until very late at night, by the time we are free, I no longer have the energy to have sex. \n\nI know that he doesn't like it, but we are very serious with each other and he's able to look past that. I am making an effort to change that and be more aware of our needs. However, he accues me of not being sexually attracted to him because I'm not aroused whenever I see him. He tells me that he is aroused whenever he sees me and probably expects me to do so in return. \n\nI'm not sure how to respond to that. But I told him that I am turned on a bit differently - by his touch in private. For example, I can't be turned on in a public setting because I'm not comfortable. This is how I truly feel. \n\nHe's a great person, we have tons of fun together and we enjoy cuddling very much. Whenever we do have sex once in awhile, we have a great time. It is just that, for whatever reason (maybe birth control), I am not often in the mood for sex. But is it really necessary to be turned on 24/7 whenever I'm with him? \n\nThank you!", "summary": "Boyfriend thinks I am not sexually attracted to him because I don't get a lady-boner whenever I see him, thus contributing to bad sex life."} {"id": "t3_cn19o", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Dear Reddit, Help me appear older? I'm 21 (female) and I look 16.", "post": "Reddit, I need some advice. \n\nI'm a 21 year old female and I look like I'm 16/17. I can't stand it! I still get carded for R rated movies. And while I know that looking young will benefit me when I'm older, I want to look my own age. \n\nI think it may have a lot to do with the way dress/present myself. So my question is, what types of things should I wear? How the heck to I make myself appear older? I see girls that are actually 17 years old and they look like they are 24! And when I try to dress a little more sexy (when I go out, not to work obviously) I feel like I just look like a 17 year old tramp. \n\nSome other information; I'm petite (5'5' and 100 pounds), I have tattoos and piercings, and just so you have a visual here are three photos of me...\n\nWithout glasses \n\nWith glasses \n\nKind of a body shot", "summary": "I'm 21 (will be 22 in November) but look 16/17. I want to look more mature and sexy and less cute. Advice on how to appear older?"} {"id": "t3_1k5hb6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] think I hold too much value in sex. I think he [19M] doesn't hold enough. Help.", "post": "I really need to just get this out there and hopefully get some understanding or advice out of this.\n\nOkay, I'm a virgin. Usually proud of it. Been saving myself for a boy I really care about etc. Recently I started dating this guy though and I'm just kind of lost with how I feel about it all. We both have different views on the matter. He says sex has different meaning to him depending on who its with. He says with me it would be a way to make the relationship more intimate but when I first said I wasn't going to give him sex he suggested he should have casual sex with others while staying with me.\n\nThis confuses me so much because I agree, it'd make the relationship more intimate but then if he'd have such casual sex with other girls just because I wasnt ready then how is it special at all? I feel like I'm not worth waiting for for him. Then at the same time I realise he still has his needs and I feel like a bitch for refusing him sex (from me or others). \n\nNow I get to the point where I just want to stop putting sex on this pedestal but at the same time I don't want it to mean nothing either. The fact that he's just so casual about it kind of tears me up and is something I'm working really hard to get past. \n\nThen there's the added factor (even though I know it shouldn't be a factor) that I still live wih my fairly religious parents and they believe I should wait until marriage. I feel like having sex with someone while living under their roof would be very disrespectful and betray their trust. Plus they always look so highly on me and I don't want them to be disappointed in me.\n\nI don't want to end up overthinking it for too long and then regret not experiencing what I could while I could but at the same time I don't want to regret having sex if I'm not ready.\n\nI apologise for the length and I doubt this makes much sense but I really needed somewhere to explain my feelings.\n\nAlso, should I crosspost this to /r/sex/ or no?", "summary": "I want to have sex but I don't. I feel like sex is too special to me and not special enough to him. What do?"} {"id": "t3_40qhb4", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/M] My Girlfriend (20/F) still talks about her ex and wants to be his friend. I'm starting to get annoyed by it.", "post": "So, my girlfriend (4 months together) keeps talking about her ex. Every time we see each other (or at least it feels like every time) she brings him up. Whether it be because he's liked her Instagram picture, he's sent her a Snapchat (everything he and she posts on their stories they also send to each other) or he's just done something she brings it up. \n\nI'm cool with them being friends and stuff, but earlier tonight I was with her and she brought him up because he posted to Snapchat, I sighed and started looking through my phone. Probably not the best way but it is what it is. Anyway she noticed and said 'It's fine, we're friends and that's all. We went out just before Christmas to get some shopping for his family and I finally realised that I don't like him like that anymore.' I dropped it and we went back to watching the movie - I didn't want an argument or anything. My problem here is she didn't tell me she was going into town with him (I'm fine with her seeing him, but I'd like to be told) but she kept saying she had no money to come see me but still managed to pay for the bus into town to see him.\n\nI'm torn on what to do. I love her, but I just don't feel like she's over him. He was her first (and only, before me) proper boyfriend and she mentioned that she never thinks she'll get over it fully because of that. I remember my first girlfriend and the only way I got over that was by blocking her for just over a month after around a month of just non stop thinking of her. Afterwards, I unblocked her, we haven't spoke but she's not in my mind anymore. I still have the memories but they're not there unless I think about them .\n\nI don't mind them being friends, but she talks about him way too much for my liking and I'm really not sure how to proceed or tell her how I feel without sounding like a dick and potentially sounding like I want to break up their friendship.", "summary": "Girlfriend still talks about her ex boyfriend too much for my liking. She still wants to be his friend. Not sure how to bring it up and deal with it."} {"id": "t3_gzd32", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My roommate is a royal douche bag", "post": "Im tired of his bullshit, hes loud at all hours he complains like a little bitch he is the very definition of douche bag in a twig like body, he thinks hes better than everyone else and best of all according to him nothing is his fault and he is perfect in every way shape and form. Even better still he claims to be religious with super christian morals and shit, which hes not. I've sat idlely by and have somehow prevented myself from saying or doing anything, but today was the last straw. I dont want to physically harm him, or seek revenge, i just want him to get whats coming to him. Any suggestions on what i should do are welcomed.\nMore info upon request. \nThanks", "summary": "I hate my roommate and i want to get him back anyway i can for all the shit he's put me through."} {"id": "t3_ueoz3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I want to get a tattoo but I want to do it right. What should I know? Where should I go? Any other tips?", "post": "I don't know any more about tattoos than the average person, and although I know of a couple places in my area (Twin Cities, MN) I wanted to ask you guys a few things.\n\nWhat should I know? By this I mean just general things people should know when wanting to get a tattoo. Price range? (I know it depends.) Good/bad colors? (I'm white, about average skin tone.) Cliche tattoos? (Common ones most don't know about... or something.) What are the best/worse or most/least painful places to get them? I'm not sure what else, just tattoo stuff I should know.\n\nWhere should I go? What are some methods of knowing if a place is good or not? What are some red flags I should look for? If you know the Twin Cities, what would you recommend?\n\nFor other tips, I'm looking for pretty much anything. Should I bring a friend or go solo? (I'm a guy). Should I shower beforehand? Any short-term or long-term care tips that I should know of? What are some relatively unknown hacks?\n\nAnother thing I'm curious of is how to go about a design. Basically, I want something with the [German] and [Irish] coat of arms intertwined somehow (something classy but modern) and the letter J above or below the German coat of arms and the letter M above or below the Irish coat of arms in some sort of script. Are there any websites or places I could mess with ideas?\n\nI'm also leaning towards my left shoulder blade for location, so big enough to fill that area but not be gigantic.", "summary": "Want to get a tattoo, left shoulder blade, German/Irish theme (heritage). Where should I go? What should I know? Tips?"} {"id": "t3_ulj88", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm a girl in love with a married woman. How to forget about her and move on?", "post": "This is going to sound so clich\u00e9d but I am desperate so here goes nothing... I am a 23F, and I fell really hard for another woman (\"C\") who is twice my age, married with children. \"C\" and I felt a deep and immediate connection, but she viewed me more as one of her children, whereas I felt quite differently... Maybe it was infatuation on my part, so my feelings would lessen over time? No, 3 years later and I still feel this way. \"C\" is the most beautiful person in the world, yet other people do not see it (aside from her husband I guess...) I overheard some guys saying that she has an annoying laugh, but whenever I hear it, it makes me so happy I could cry. I get chills when she says my name.\n\nI love her so much, all I really want is for her to live a happy life with her husband (he better treat her right or else!). At first I tried to avoid her, but she sensed my awkwardness and fragility, so she tried to be friendly and act as a mentor/mother figure towards me. I thought maybe this friendship thing could work out, but it is true that you can't just be friends... I recently received an award, \"C\" wanted to give me a hug, and I nearly fainted when I felt her embrace. And as soon as I was out of sight I burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably.\n\n\"C\" has shown me such kindness, but she has no idea what I have felt all this time, and she can never know. If she could just say or do something mean or cruel, then I could think less or her. But she will never do that. So I need to break this off once and for all. Honestly I think the only way is for me to meet someone else, but how do I do that? I have never been in a serious relationship before, so \"dating\" and the \"bar scene\" is extremely foreign to me. I really don't know where to start and I need help from people who know how to do this stuff. Thank you so much for your help!", "summary": "I need to forget about someone because there is no hope of a future with this person. How to meet someone for a **meaningful** relationship?"} {"id": "t3_3sa98h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17F] let a friend [17F] copy me during a test for one question, got it wrong, leading to both of us getting it wrong. She is pissed and blames me entirely for the mark she lost", "post": "Had a math test few weeks ago. The hardest, final question gave a huge mark. Although we are all separated, I gave a friend some help when she silently called for me. She glanced at it for a couple of seconds, then copied the working out, etc. She looked very pleased when she finished copying, even though it was IMPLIED that I cannot be 100% correct.\n\nAnyways, we were handed the test back just last week. I had an error in the working out, which led to the wrong final answer. This was not a careless error, in fact it was that the working out itself had the wrong method, leading to a whole lot of the mark (if I recall correctly) lost. My friend told me that I was \"useless\" for answering it incorrectly, and cost her her grade. Most of us are decent, and she got a slightly lower overall grade than me, but it was still satisfactory. Every time she would see me from that day, she would ignore me and constantly remind me of the test if I did decide to talk to her about it. I laughed it off and told her she was overreacting (along with my other friends), but now I am actaully concerned, considering it's been a few days.\n\nShould I just ignore it? I'm really not sure what I should do at this point. She does overreact sometimes, but not to this extent.", "summary": "Helped friend out during test, both of us got that specific question wrong. She is very mad and claimed that it cost her a huge mark (which it did). Still won't let go after four? school days."} {"id": "t3_24e0ih", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20m] am really sensitive and clingy in my relationship with my girlfriend. [20F] how can I help myself?", "post": "I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months now. The first 3 months were great, there were no problems. Now however, I guess after the honeymoon stage, I am becoming way more clingy and sensitive with my girlfriend. I am constantly worried about what she's up to and I feel like if our conversations aren't \"good\" that there's something wrong. \n\nToday we were together and she said that she couldn't go out for coffee later because she had a lot of homework. (We are both in college) I feel like that if she asked me to coffee, I would say yes even if I had to push some things around. \n\nI feel like I make her my first priority while I'm not her number one priority. \n\nEverything that's negative in our relationship can make me sad and it can even be something little. How can I help my self before it really affects our relationship? I really like her and I want to be with her. I have no intentions of breaking up. I am just tired of feeling sad.", "summary": "I am sensitive and clingy and I feel like I'm not my girlfriends first priority while I am her first. How can I help my self to save our relationship?"} {"id": "t3_483end", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Advice] Me [24 M] and my SO [22/F] have been getting in fights every day for the past week over really petty stuff.", "post": "We've been together for about a year and 2 months now, we usually get together really well but this past week has been really bad. \n\nIt seems like every single day something that would otherwise be really petty gets turned into an inflated argument. She got sick on Monday, and has been in a salty mood since then. \n\nLast night, for example, we went to the symphony and wanted to do dinner first. The place we went to had a 50 minute wait and the show started in about an hour and a half, which made her start on about how every place was going to be like this and how I needed to find somehwere to go. We ended up finding a place, but then at the symphony we go to grab a drink at the bar. The bartender asks me what I want for a whiskey drink and I say 'whatever's cheapest'. She gets embarrased and storms off, later arguing with me about how I'm not being classy and sophisticated. \n\nThese are just a few examples of stuff we've argued about this week and I'm literally at my wits end. I can't take another day of walking on egg shells around her and I'm not sure what to do about it. We talked briefly last night where I told her that I was just trying to go out and have a good time, but she wanted me to ' take the lead' and be more 'sophisticated' in settings like the one we were in.", "summary": "SO and I have been arguing about petty stuff all weak, I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do to normalize relations."} {"id": "t3_ryolb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Reason enough to break things off?", "post": "Try to keep this short. My SO came home from work a few hours ago, we got into a fight over something silly and he called me a cunt. Not in a joking way. We've been together for 7 months now and known each other for about a year beforehand. I'm 22F and he's 24M. \n\nIn the past he has said other degrading things to me but I ignore them and tell myself that he does it in the heat of the moment when he gets angry but now I feel like I've had enough. \n\nRedditors, is it right for me to feel this way? His anger shouldn't give him a reason for him to say these things right? I've grown up in a verbally abusive household and the last thing I want is to end up with someone who's also going to verbally abuse me whether it be when he's angry or not.", "summary": "SO called me a cunt while we were arguing, I'm thinking about breaking it off - don't want to spend my life with someone verbally abusive. Thoughts/advice?"} {"id": "t3_33bab9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My[21/F] boyfriend[21/M] won't stop bragging about this achievements.", "post": "We're both University students, and he had coordinated a fantastic cultural show this year at the beginning of February. He also designed shirts for all the people who helped out, and the shirt also looked great. He did an incredible job at planning the show and making the shirts, and I am super proud of him. However, its been almost 3 months now, and he still brings it up at least once a day on how awesome his show was. He'll even interrupt people when the conversation topic is remotely related to talk about how great his show was. I would compliment and praise him on his performance every time, but lately, I've started to get really irritated with him and I would think to myself, \"does he really need to bring the attention back to him, even though the conversation is barely related?\" \n\nEarlier, I spoke to him about it and said that he should stop bringing up the show and shirts so much. Him constantly bringing it up is getting irritating. But immediately he got angry and upset with me, saying that he lets me talk about things that make me happy, why can't I let him talk about the things that make him happy. I think he took it at a personal attack or that I'm not proud of him, but I really am, both the show and tshirts were great.\n\nI don't know if I should have brought it up or just continued to let him. I had planned the same show the year before, so maybe I was just resenting out of jealousy. But he also does the same thing about his new job. He currently works at a large software company while also attending school, and whenever anyone brings up the topic of job, he has to tell everyone that he works at this said software company. \n\nI'm wondering if his actions are normal and that I'm in the wrong for calling him out, or if it's not and he's trying too hard to boast or fish for compliments.", "summary": "Boyfriend planned a fantastic show in February, but three months later, he is still talking about it everyday. He got mad at me for calling him out. Am I in the wrong?"} {"id": "t3_53hxsg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] love my GF [18 F] of 9 months, and I know she loves me, but she has severe emotional problems.", "post": "My GF absolutely loves me. She wants to see me every chance we get, she constantly texts me, and I just know she loves me. I love her too. But she has emotional problems. She feels unloved and uncared for if I do something that will limit our time together. Example: I don't care about her because I recently took a job at a haunted house so I will not be able to see her as much. She gets extremely upset if I don't text her back quickly enough. She jumps to see who texted me when my phone goes off, to make sure it's not another girl. I tell her that she's being unreasonable for feeling unloved, and I'm the monster calling her names because she confided her feelings in me and i'm supposed to make her feel better. Is loving someone enough to make it work?", "summary": "My GF has severe emotional problems, but we love each other. Is loving each other enough to make a relationship work for the long run?"} {"id": "t3_50z8e7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [19f] has the libido similar to a robot. I'm [19m] struggling on what to think.", "post": "Me and my girlfriend (of 6 months) have a somewhat normal sex life. I have a out raging stupidly high libido that you'd think a 19 year old dude would have, and she has a pretty normal one, I think. I've known that this can be compatible through proper communication. What is weird is I have never initiated sex before. She can't be turned on. She says she's attracted to me, and when we do have sex I think it goes really well. When we first started dating, it used to be once a week *on the dot*, seriously like the same day each week, same time, same place. Now, sometimes it can be a random 2 week break, nearly even 3 weeks where there is no mention of sex. \n \nThis is weird right? I've asked her if there's any reason why she's sporadic in these decisions and I get something similar \"We would have last night if we were home!\", then that usually feels encompassed by guilty sex that night that I am always declining at first because I want her to feel comfortable with it and feel she's just doing it for me. \n \nShe has never masterbated before, doesn't know how (at least that's what she's told me). She's had plenty of experience with one other long term relationship (almost abusive but she got out before anything bad) and a few shorter ones. \n \nShe has told me that she doesn't know what turns her on, she doesn't know how to turn herself on, and I've tried every trick in my book over the course of 6 months to help her figure that out but she isn't having any of it. Sometimes I end up a little frustrated with myself because I feel like I can't get her in the mood and when it's been almost 3 weeks. I don't know if that's a sign of me or her. Am I experiencing incompatibility, or is something that can be worked out? How will sex be later in life if I'm never able to initiate it myself with her?", "summary": "girlfriend doesn't know what turns her on, or how. She's never masterbated nor knows how but has plenty of experience with intercourse. I can't initiate sex. She has weird on/off libido."} {"id": "t3_1sg6s2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [27f] return my exBF[29M]'s things?", "post": "My ex bf and i broke up a month ago. I begged for a week, then went no contact after. Before i went nc, we had a fight on how i would return his ipad back. He wanted me to mail it, i wanted to meet up.\n\nSo now, after weeks of nc, i decided not to meet up. He was a jerk. He treated me like crap after break up and he was really mean and insulting. \n\nHe made me unfriend all his family and he unfriended our mutual friends. Even his college friend who had initially set us up. This college friend is husband of my friend.\n\nMy friends told me not to contact him and wait for him to contact me if he wants to get his ipad back. I really dont want to contact him too, but i dont want him to think that i dont want to return his ipad. My friends dont want to give him his ipad because they are pissed off at him cause they think he is immature. \n\nSo what do i do? Do i wait for him to contact me? Or should i just text him a short message asking for his address? \n\nI feel like i will lose the last of my dignity if i contact him first. Going no contact has helped me a lot because after begging i felt like i lost my pride. But im afraid that he might text me something nasty saying why dont i want to return his ipad. But i am really just waiting for him to contact me first. \n\nHe had been working abroad and just came back last week i think.", "summary": "i have his ipad. Do i contact him first to ask for his address so i can mail it to him or wait dor him to contact me."} {"id": "t3_3ha1cv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] am about to start school with my boyfriend [18M] and I'm wondering how to bring up spending less time together", "post": "Don't get me wrong, I adore my boyfriend, let's call him S. S and I have been together for about a year, high school sweethearts of a sort. He's one of my best friends and at this point we're considering marriage. I realize we're really young and anything could happen, but I think we have some potential. We've been really lucky over the past few months in being able to spend a part of almost of every day together. I love being around him and he's a great guy. \n\nSo here's the problem. I'm going to school to become a veterinarian, which means a LOT of work. He's going to a different university in the same town, so we're at least close to each other. But honestly, at this point, school is absolutely my priority. I love S, and I definitely want to stay together, but how do I communicate that I need more time away from him to accomplish my goals?\n\nI think it's a little too harsh to tell him that he comes after school. I don't even know if that's true. Thinking about this confuses me and I don't want to harm our relationship in any way. Help!!", "summary": "I'm about to commit to a lot of schoolwork, which means less time with my SO. How to I communicate the need for more time away from him without hurting him?"} {"id": "t3_1ux85b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M], my girlfriend of 4 months [20F], and my bestfriend of 3 years [20M].", "post": "So I'm fairly new to reddit and the community is great, so I found this sub today with the hopes you guys can help me out with a problem I've been dealing with lately. \n\nSo here it is: I have been together with my girlfriend for about four months now, however we have been friends for about three years (I've been wild about her the whole time, and have just recently just broke the \"curse of the friendzone\"; go me right?!). For the sake of this post remaining anonymous , we'll call her Jill. \n\nAnyways, so probably a year and a half ago I introduced Jill to a very good friend of mine (also for the whole anonymous thing we'll call him Bob) Bob. The whole length of this friendship Bob has known I've been crazy for Jill because we've talked about it many times, and the only time Jill and Bob ever really interacted in person was when I was the intermediate.\n\nThis all changed back in august however when Bob and I moved in together, now he's seeing a lot more of Jill and their friendship begins growing. Keep in mind, Bob still know I'm crazy about Jill, and Jill's starting to show sings that she's feeling the same way about me. \n\nSo now Jill and I are together, we have been since late september. She stays at the apartment all the time and honestly I feel like our relationship is great; we both agree we've never been happier. However Bob shows, at least what I pick up as obvious signs of interest in Jill. He's more excited when Jill walks into the apartment than I am, and always strikes up conversations with her; he even now texts and snapchats her more than he does me. \n\nShould I bring up my concern with either Jill or Bob? Or is this just something that would be better kept to myself and see how things play out? I'm really at a crossroads here and really would appreciate some advice or words of encouragement, especially because usually either Jill or Bob are the ones to be providing me with those comforts.", "summary": "Introduced my two best friends to each other, then started dating one of them. Now my roommate/best friend is showing signs of interest in my girlfriend and I dont know what to do!"} {"id": "t3_1rz2f6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend [M29] is singing to a sold out show on Friday (2000+ people) and doesn't want me [F28] to come.", "post": "Please, tell me if I'm being unreasonable here.\n\nThere's a popular rock band in our region and they're performing in our area on Friday to a sold out show. My boyfriend went to college with a couple of the guys in the band and they've asked him to \"open\" for them on Friday. He was also asked to open for them on Saturday for a second show in a neighboring city. \n\nOriginally, he was going to decline the offer because he gets major anxiety playing in front of bigger crowds. Normally, he just plays in local bars/clubs every once in awhile for fun. He talked to the guys about being hesitant but they convinced him to do it, so now he's going through with it. He seems a lot more relaxed/comfortable with everything now. \n\nSo I was super excited for this Friday, especially since his buddies gave him a couple of tickets for front row seats (for me/friends), which were NOT cheap. However, he's asked me not to come. We've been together for over a year and I've never seen him perform. So I REALLY want to be there to support him but he refuses. He says he'll be a nervous wreck if I'm in the crowd because he'll be focused on me the entire time. \n\nI'm extremely disappointed and hurt. I don't even know what to say. I felt like this was a wonderful opportunity to finally see him perform and he's taking it away from me. My friends are still going though from the sound of it.... so I'm sure they'll record his performance but that's not the same.\n\nAm I being selfish? What can I do to put his mind at ease before Friday so that he'll let me go?", "summary": "I've been told not to come to my boyfriend's performance on Friday because he'll have anxiety issues if I'm there."} {"id": "t3_ztux7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Ex-wife still appears to have bank account registered at my address. Is this a potential problem?", "post": "Here's the skinny: got divorced 4 years ago after 8 years of marriage, 3 happy, 5 miserable. It ended after she f***ed a friend of a friend. It was good riddance to bad rubbish. We have not had any contact, direct or indirect, since. Right after the divorce she went to the UK and has remained there (I'm in the US, FWIW she's American)\n\nFor the 1st year after, I still got the occasional piece of mail for her. I would forward these to her mom, with an addendum to please update her address.\n\nA month or 2 ago, get a letter from the bank. I opened it without really looking, and it turns out to be a replacement debit card. For my ex. I think about what to do with this, and decide to just destroy the card. \n\nSo then a mutual friend advises me a day or 2 ago that she's pissing and moaning on FB that the bank have sent another card, apparently (and I quote) \"Guess where?\" So it looks like there's another debit card heading this way.\n\nMy question is, should I be a good guy and contact her to find out where to send the card and tell her to change the fucking address on her bank account? None of my friends in the UK know her actual address (that's another fishy fucking thing, word is she's in the UK having overstayed her tourist visa) so I would have to contact her or the ex-mother-in-law.\n\nCan she legally retain bank accounts at the former marital address? Is this fraudulent? Should I contact the bank or just cut up card #2 when it arrives?", "summary": "ex of 4 years had a replacement debit card sent to my house. Twice. I'd rather not contact her, so what do?"} {"id": "t3_54pv7j", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Regarding Student Loans", "post": "Long time lurker, first time poster. \n\nI have a moderate student loan debt. I created two spreadsheets; one calculating the amount of time it would take to pay them off if I used my card (maxing it out a total of three times, and going over 50% of my limit for the duration of the rest of the time) which I use for little else, and which has an APR of 20.05%. The second was if I were to pay off the debt directly with the loan company, assuming the interest was about 3.76% annually (which I Googled, so that figure may be WAY off. I don't have access, currently, to my online account, so I can't check). \n\nPoint is, it would take two years LESS to pay it off with my credit card according to my (probably incorrect) calculations. \n\nMy question is: which would be better for my absolutely abysmal credit score? Either way it's going to take until at least 2028 to pay off with my current salary (I'm working poor and probably staying that way for a while). I'll be free of the last of my personally-accrued credit card debt in July if I don't choose to pay off my loans with my card (which, tbh, I'm not even sure I can do). So... any suggestions would be incredibly helpful. \n\nThanks for looking.", "summary": "Which will boost my credit score: paying off my student loans with my credit card or paying them off directly with the loan company?"} {"id": "t3_328vwg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (17M) have a crush on a girl (16F) who knows Iike her but thinks of me as a brother.", "post": "so basically I have this crush on a girl that is in my youth group for church. the youth group and I all grew up together, but since the past year, we have gotten really close. we all hang out together and talk with one another. sometimes we go camping together. we are basically a big family. the thing is...some love has been goin around with 2 people liking each other or 2 people dating each other. like I said, I have a crush on this really cute girl who I talk to occasionally. at first i thought she was annoying, but now i just think she is really cute and very outgoing. i think what sparked my crush for her was when my mom kept telling me how cute she is and that I should marry a girl like her. before all this, she had a thing with my best friend which everyone knew about...EVEN MY MOM. she would say stuff like \"you should ask her on a date, but wait nvmd she's John's girl.\" but I guess \"John\" ended it a while ago. so she got all depressed which pretty much showed she had feelings for him but now shes ok. (a part of me still thinks she does)\n\nso ya thats the little background story. I actually told her recently that I liked her and she said \"ya im sorry I dont think of you in that way...I think of you as a brother\" which honestly does break my heart but at the same time tells me I should move on. it does irritate me a little though. But because we are such a tight nit group I am going to have to keep talking to her as if nothing happened. we only see each other twice on the weekends (fridays and sundays) and are in close proximity to each other. so its not like school where I can just completely ignore her. i understand I cannot be with her and that I should just move on...but I am wondering is there still a little hope? like will she eventually like me? is there any way out of the brotherzone? or is it just 100% impossible?", "summary": "a girl I was crazy about thinks of me as a brother. I know I should move on but is there any hope that I can get out?"} {"id": "t3_tl65a", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "One of my best friends has a step-brother that may have killed someone recently. how should i go about reporting this?", "post": "**PLEASE** keep this off the frontpage! I was talking to some of my friends the other night and one of them told us about his step brother was back in town. apparently him and his drug-dealing wife are hiding out at my friend's house after the step brother and his buddy may have killed someone. the story i was told was something along the lines of \"the buddy was talking to a girl online for a while and arranged a date. buddy took step-brother along on the date for some reason and when they got there it turned out the girl was actually a gay man. so they took the rational step of beating the man to death.\" at first i had no idea how to react to this. after a few days i began thinking about it again and told someone about it and she suggested that i make an anonymous tip to the police. i believe it is the right thing to do, and i want to, but i have a few reservations about doing it. first, i have no idea if this is actually true, and i was thinking about googling news reports from step-brother's former location, but i have no idea where he used to live or even what his name is. my friend may know, but i am not sure i want him to know that i reported his step-brother for murder. i'd prefer to keep the whole thing as anonymous as possible. secondly, i am afraid of the repercussions if someone finds out i reported him, and third, i don't want to tip the police off unless i actually know for sure someone died. murder is a serious accusation and i do not want to make it lightly. what should i do??", "summary": "good friend's step-brother may have committed murder and i am not sure how to go about reporting it as i have little information on the events."} {"id": "t3_4gazto", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Me [22 M] met a [20 F] and we connected over both having lost a parent suddenly in high school", "post": "Has anyone ever used common grief as a way to initially connect with someone? Some people connect and meet through mutual groups, mutual interests, but has anyone met or connected initially through grief?\n\nI was on a plane for a college club trip and sat next to this cute girl. At first we didn't have much to talk about but then it came up that she had lost her dad. I almost started crying for a second because I was shocked. I lost my dad too. It turns out our experiences were similar, both lost our dads suddenly and a year apart in age. Both about 6 years ago. We talked about all the similarities and all that. How it impacted our siblings, and our moms too. The ways we dealt with it. It was nice to talk to someone with a similar experience.\n\nSo basically, I was wondering if anyone had any similar experience in connecting with someone through grief. If so do you have any tips in general? Or tips on transitioning from a grief conversation to something lighter and more \"flirty or flirtatious\"?\n\nThank you!", "summary": "Met a girl. We both connected over having lost a parent in early high school. I am interested in her romantically. Tips? How to transition conversation from grief to \"flirty\"?"} {"id": "t3_2bq2un", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21F] boyfriend's [M21] overly flirtatious behavior with other girls and how it causes trust issues (2 months)", "post": "While we have only been dating for two months, we have been friends for almost 2 years. He's always been really flirty, and when you're single, that's fine. But when you're in a relationship, certain behaviors kinda need to stop.\n\nIt's frustrating because I've had multiple conversations about his behavior with him and how it makes me uncomfortable and how I don't like it. For our most recent conversation, I tried telling him that when he is flirty, touchy, and says inappropriate things to other girls, it doesn't make me feel special as a girlfriend and that I'm in competition with all these other girls. He said \"oh my god, we should get a $5 pizza.\" I just feel as if there is a huge lack of respect for me in this relationship. Plus, I muster up a lot of courage to talk about my feelings to him because while he doesn't call me crazy, the tone he uses to talk to me insinuates I'm overreacting. We've had three conversations, one night (while drinking) I blew up at him in public, and then the next night, tried playing along. So I feel like I've done all I can, I just don't see how it's fair to me to compromise my feelings so he can fulfill his \"needs\" of being overly flirtatious. This has also been causing trust issues the relationship.\n\nAnother time, he was planning a trip to a different with 4 girls and I saw it on Twitter. I asked him about it and he said it was all hypothetical, but then laughed at me because he thought the whole situation was ridiculous. I then asked him how he would feel if the situation was reversed and he said it would suck.\n\nTwo questions: Am I overreacting? and What else can I do if I'm not?", "summary": "My boyfriend constantly caresses other girls, drinks with just girls when I'm not around, and then tells me \"that's who he is, and he will try to work on it, but probably won't.\""} {"id": "t3_2hhoqh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I want a dog [22/f], he doesn't [22/m]. I consider this a dealbreaker. Is that wrong?", "post": "This is actually a huge issue for me. \n\nI have been with my SO for around 2 years now. We met in college and have similar goals - both don't want children, both have careers in an office setting, both have similar personalities. But, he doesn't want a dog. \n\nI have been begging for a dog for almost a year now. My old dog passed away around that time. It broke my heart and i missed having a pup best friend to take care of and hang out with. Having a dog was very important to me. He always brushed it off, like, \"oh, we're young, a dog is the last thing we need right now!\" or something like that. He would always say, \"some day!\"\n\nBut recently, hes admitted to me he doesn't want a dog. He doesn't want to live with one, or take care of one. He said if i were to get a dog it won't be while we're living together. \n\nWhen i expressed that that's an issue for me, he said something along the lines of, \"You're going to break up with me for a dog we don't even have?\" He thought he was being funny and didn't get that i was hurt and upset. \n\nSometimes i think, \"Wow, he doesn't love me enough to just appease my need for a dog that won't even be his?\" But then i think that could be put back on me too: \"Wow, she doesn't love him enough to give up a dog? She loves dogs more than she loves him?\"\n\nPlease help me with this. I have tried a million times to persuade him to get a dog (we have plenty of time/space) but it's not what he wants. Having a dog is very very important to me, but i can't imagine breaking up with the man i thought i would marry because of it...", "summary": "My boyfriend doesn't want a dog, and i do - very, very much. I can't imagine leaving the love of my life for a dog, but honestly, that's how important to me this is. Please help."} {"id": "t3_4tv2us", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my ex-girlfriend [21 F] of seven months, I have feelings again?", "post": "To be clear: this is a throwaway account not owned by Matt Damon: I couldn't think of any other name. anyways...\nSo, for a bit of backstory, and fake names will be used...I dated this girl Sam. Great girl, sweetest ever. My parents loved her, and still do. Truly the best girl I ever dated. But I was far from the best guy. I flirted with other women, I went out on a date once, I talked to other women and tried to sleep around but never did. I cheated because I found out I wasn't ready for a relationship yet, but didn't want to lose her. It's selfish, I know. It's terrible, I know. I'm not posting this for reddit to evaluate my morals, or lack thereof. I broke up with her because I was sick of living a lie, but never told her I cheated.\nFast forward a month after we broke up. We start talking again, as friends. First time was kinda awkward and we tried casual conversation but our breakup was brought up and i just froze, second time we hung out and we had sex. Every time after that, we hang out and do friend stuff, we act like we're in a relationship (really sweet to each other and whatnot, couple stuff), and we have sex. We both are talking to other people, though, but not committed to anyone.\nLately I've been thinking about her, and what I did. I was an asshole, no doubt about it. But this girl was truly the best thing that could ever happen to me, and the nicest. Just...perfect, I can't really describe her without filling up entire books. She told me (she's a senior in college, I graduated this spring) she's strongly considering going out of state for grad school. She doesn't know this, but it kind of screwed me up a bit, because I was thinking to try and rekindle the relationship, try on a blank slate this time, and going long distance is not what I have in mind for the future. We have something going on, some kind of connection, but i'm not sure what to do now.", "summary": "Was an asshole, broke up, now realized she was the best thing to happen to me. Try to get back together, or let it go?"} {"id": "t3_3age0e", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Advice for motivating my dad to lose weight", "post": "My dad has been obese my entire life (I'm 24yo). Throughout my life he has never openly admitted his weight problem (he is about 400-450 lbs), and has never taken an initiative to work on it. He is the only overweight person in our family, and he has no other condition causing it -- just his food intake and lack of exercise. \n\nDue to some other circumstances, I've temporarily moved back in with him (parents split about 3 years ago), and I'm watching him eat junk food, refuse to go on walks with me, and never leave the house. He works from home on his computer and the most exercise he gets is walking from his bedroom to his office. \n\nI am doing the grocery shopping while living here, and every week he puts on the list cookies, ice cream, and pies, and then puts it back on the list the next week. He's the only one who eats it. I have tried not buying them, and I get yelled at and then he will go out of his way to do the shopping himself and buy all the snacks. I have tried getting the fat-free varieties and also got yelled at. When he does go out he will stop at McDonalds and order off the dollar menu because he is very frugal despite admitting he makes enough money to live luxuriously. \n\nI bought him a Misfit Flash tracker for Christmas and encouraged him to keep track of his food intake through MyFitnessPal, and his exercise via the tracker. He also has sleep apnea issues as a result of his weight, and I told him he can track his sleep as well. Of course, he doesn't use any of it, and only wears it when I bring it up. \n\nWe are lucky enough he has not yet suffered a heart attack but it's only a matter of time, and I don't want to see my father die early when it is very preventable.\n\nSo", "summary": "how can I help my father admit he has a problem, and recognize that he has to take steps to diet and exercise?"} {"id": "t3_vxsgj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do i get the most out of an older Android Tablet? Is there a way to speed it up or install faster firmware?", "post": "Ok so my brother got an old tablet from a friend that she had replaced with a newer one. My brother didn't use it much and knows i love to read and figured it would make a e-reader. It does work pretty well for that and that's pretty much all I want it for but it seems to be kind of slow and the touch screen isn't super responsive, the battery life also doesn't seem to be great. SO. it says the build number is WMT2.0.1_88 firmware version is 1.6 model number is generic, memory is 256mb. I have a 2gb micro SD card to go with it if that helps. What i mostly want to know is this: Anything i can do to speed it up a little? Get rid of anything unneeded, change settings, custom firmware? (Don't know if this is legal/frowned upon, i know there is custom firmware for", "summary": "Got a hand me down android tablet, never used a tablet before, any way to optimize it ONLY for e-reading to make it speedier and also to save battery power?"} {"id": "t3_1bn67o", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Help me talk sense into my best friend", "post": "I've been lurking here for a few months now, and thanks to you guys, I'm meeting a lot of my financial goals. I'm on Mint, I'm saving to pay off my loans, and I'm living below my means. I make under 25K right now but I'm slowly moving up!\n\nThis post is for my very stubborn friend. Let's call him Mike.\n\nMike makes 36K a year. He says he takes home around $2,500 a month after taxes. Pretty good for someone at 27. He has benefits, his car is paid off, and he doesn't even have a phone bill (all thanks to his parents).\n\nHis employer offered him a 401K plan, and Mike turned it down, his reason being \"I barely take home enough money as it is!\"\n\nI know where all of his money goes: he eats out. Twice a day. Every day. I know this because we're roommates. I cook almost every night and go out maybe twice a week. He eats out for lunch and dinner *every day.* He spends every single evening drinking at a local pub. He drops hundreds of dollars on new records. He also spends money on other, more reasonable things - he has a personal trainer and a gym membership, both of which are good ideas, as his eating habits have made him into a very - uhm, unhealthy - guy.\n\nHe seems to be host to a whole range of issues related to overindulgence, but I'm afraid that this kind of lifestyle at his age is going to very quickly eat away at some great opportunities.\n\nHow can I convince Mike to sign on with his employer's 401K plan? What other tips can I give him about his spending habits? I'm tempted to try and help him set up his own Mint account, but he is beyond stubborn - he thinks he knows it all and has everything figured out. Do folks here have experience approaching someone like my friend? Any tips you have would be much appreciated.", "summary": "My best friend's spending habits are spiraling out of control, and I want to help him figure his shit out before it's too late!"} {"id": "t3_130gk4", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment to sort out a lot of ongoing *issues*. Should I also bring up my stupid rib cage and how it is seriously affecting my confidence and the rest?", "post": "So, without going too detailed, the past few years have been somewhat horrible with one thing and another (too many people dying/a bad breakup/loosing a lot of friends/work stress/family stress/money stress etc). Last weekend I kind of snapped after pretty much getting slightly crushed by someone, even though I knew that was the case. I ended up booking a doctors appointment for tomorrow morning to sort out this depression/anxiety *thing*. Something I have been putting off for a long long time, and I'm dreading it.\n\nThe main question is though, my chest/ribs whatever are stupid... as in some form of pectus excavatum (sunken chest). It seriously affects me, my confidence, the clothes I wear... everything. I don't even know how to begin to describe it. I don't even know if I want to. Should I bring this up tomorrow at the appointment? Somehow I feel I should sort one thing out at a time and try and get my life back on track/work out who the hell I am and what I am doing. I really dislike doctors, and this is the first time I have ever even talked/written about it (I'm going on 29 too soo... yeah). Any ideas/thoughts/advice/anything would be really horribly welcome here.", "summary": "Depression I should have sorted years ago, my ribs are stupid and I don't know if I should bring this up at the doctors tomorrow."} {"id": "t3_4yxg66", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [28M] want to live in another country where I am happiest but my GF[23F] can't and it's not her fault", "post": "I've lived in several countries in my life so far, I'm originally from the UK but now live in Kenya for a work project.\n\nI should explain that I am not happy here in Kenya and after my project is done in January 2017 I want to leave. I've always found it hard to feel content in anywhere but where I used to live in Canada - there I was the happiest I've ever been and honestly, I don't think I'll ever be content anywhere else, I feel uneasy not being there and literally think of my old life there daily, compulsively.\n\nI met a Kenyan girl who I love very much, we have been togeher for 9 months. However, after recently applying for just a tourist VISA to the UK so she could visit my family and it being rejected, I feel that a life anywhere outside of Kenya, especially Canada, is unlikely, which is not her fault. She wants to live outside Kenya and knows I do too but it could take 3, 5... 10years to get her the access to where we decide to settle abroad, which is longer than I think I have patience for.\n\nI don't know what to do, while I love her, I don't think I'll be able to achieve the life I want.\n\nI find my self trying to find excuses to break up with her to \"run away\" and not feel as hurt but I fabricate these and I know it's very wrong.\n\nAm I being completely selfish, or should I maybe move on to chase the happy life I urge for in Canada?\n\nI'm genuinely so confused and it is invasively on my mind daily.", "summary": "I want to live in Canada where I am happiest but my GF is unlikely to be able to follow due to immigration restrictions and it makes me push her unfairly away and cloud my mind"} {"id": "t3_1wn6cn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] looked through my boyfriend's [23M] internet history...", "post": "Small bit of back story. We've been together for a year and a half. We live together. I've never cheated on him, but he doesn't fully trust me and accuses me of cheating/flirting with other guys fairly frequently. He sort of does it half seriously though, but I know he actually means it. It has caused arguments in the past. \n\nI don't know why I decided to look though his history. I went on his laptop instead of my own because it was closer, and I wanted to just waste some time on the internet, and it just happened. I wasn't even looking for anything. I don't mind that he watches porn or anything, because I do too. We haven't had sex in about 2 months for various reasons, but have been intimate on a sort-of weekly basis, but this is mostly through me initiating. \n\nHe had watched about a dozen gay porn videos roughly a week ago. I'm shocked and I don't really know what to think. This was only in one 'sitting' though, and all the rest of the history was just heterosexual porn. \n\nThat's not what I'm posting this for though. The thing I found which really hurt was him frequently checking this girl's facebook. I have no idea who this girl is. He's never mentioned her before. We have pretty much all of the same friends and she lives in the area. He's not her friend on facebook. Maybe 4-5 times a week he'll check it. I don't know if it's coincidence or not, but looking at the history it seems like it's just after he's masturbated that he will look at her profile.\n\nCould anyone offer an opinion of what to make of this situation or how to move forward?", "summary": "Boyfriend frequently checks the facebook profile of a girl who is not his friend on facebook, and who I've never met/heard of. He also watched a dozen gay porn videos."} {"id": "t3_3riqvq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My voice gets me into trouble with women, and I really have no idea what I can do... Help?", "post": "Hey Reddit,", "summary": "Attractive voice, women think I'm a player, I'm not a player, they never accept what I say, I'm not taken seriously. Rinse and repeat."} {"id": "t3_2wd9hd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] feel unworthy of dating [21F] who is smart, rich and does part time model job. What to do?", "post": "I met this girl during a open day PhD event. She was stunningly beautiful and also very clever doing the same subject as me so I couldn't believe my luck. At the end of the day we added each other to facebook and I felt as though next time I might ask her out. \n\nWhen I'm on my way home I begin to see her facebook pics and I quickly see that this isn't a normal person. All her pictures are of luxurious holidays and ski trips in addition to many upscale parties and such. Adding to that she seems to be working as a part time model with numerous photo shoots and she's been actually been in magazines. I do a quick google search and it confirms she is working for a top model agency.\n\nI just can't fathom how someone that beautiful could also be that smart. How am I supposed to ask her out when she's been everywhere and I've barely left my hometown once or twice.\n\nHer combination of experiences, beauty and intelligence just make me feel inadequate.", "summary": "Met insanely beautiful girl who just so happens to be real clever doing same subject as me. Later find out she's also modelling and has been to so many places around the world. I feel into intimidated to ask her out."} {"id": "t3_4yncar", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Landlord sent us a cease and desist letter. What do I do?", "post": "Dear Reddit,\n\nUsing a throwaway account. Here's our situation (and sorry about a wall of text, but we really need your help):\n\nWe have been renting a townhouse from a private owner since January, and we still have four months to go on the lease. Having been homeowners in the past, we always wanted to buy a house again. In July we happened to find our dream house. Immediately after our offer got accepted, we emailed our landlord that we are moving out in mid-September and offered to put in all the leg work to help him find a suitable tenant to start a new 12-month lease in October. We tried to negotiate with him and make the transition as easy as possible for him. He had none of it. He sent us a two-sentence email back saying he does not consent to us terminating and finding him new tenants. \n\nHe then stopped answering all of our follow-up email/phone calls. So we sent him a certified letter stating that we are terminating our lease effective in October; we will advertise, show the house, and vet potential tenants; we will send him possible tenants and we would leave it to him to make the final decision for new tenants. \n\nThe day before we sent our letter, we posted an online ad for the apartment for a higher rent than we are currently paying. The house is in a very popular area and within 2 days, we already have 6 people scheduled to come look at the place. \n\nAfter we sent this letter, the landlord emailed us a cease and desist letter saying he will not permit us to post any advertisements and that we must stop any activities in regard to helping him find a new tenant. The landlord did not give a reason why we should not advertise the place. Per the tenant laws, he's supposed to mitigate damages and we are only trying to help him find potential tenants. \n\nIs it better for us to continue to advertise the place and supply him with potential tenants, or should we comply with his cease and desist letter?", "summary": "We bought a house and must terminate the lease. Landlord sent us a cease and desist letter to prevent us from helping him find a new tenant."} {"id": "t3_c4kie", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "I am currently in Flordia and want to see some sights on the way back to Canada. Any suggestions for places to stop on the way? (More info inside)", "post": "We are currently in Melbourne, FL and would like to make our way back to Canada along the east coast. Final destination would be Toronto. I am looking at the following schedule;\n\n* Sunday (tomorrow) - Leave Melbourne for Charleston, SC\n* Monday - Leave for Richmond, VA\n* Tuesday - Leave for Montreal, QC\n* Wednesday - Party to support Canadiens in the finals\n* Thursday - Return to Toronto\n\nDoes anyone have any suggestions for places to visit along the way, the cities I chose were mostly random. I'm trying to keep driving down to about 6-7 hours a day. I know the Richmond to Montreal run will be longer that's why I'm looking to stay there for two days.", "summary": "Any suggestions for interesting things to see along the east coast would be appreciated. I'm trying to plan my drive back starting tomorrow."} {"id": "t3_14wsbm", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Free Leftovers? Nope!", "post": "So i used to work in a little store in our local mall that made flavored popcorn (you know kettle corn, caramel, etc.). Every time the mall closes we clean up the store and empty out the popcorn machines, we get stragglers who walk around and occasionally ask if they can have a free bag of popcorn, usually because they're with their friends and want to impress them with their swag.\n\nThis one day my boss and I were cleaning out and this hefty woman shuffles up to us like she owns the store. Granted, the gate was drawn down, but she still looked through the cracks at the menu as if a closed gate wasn't enough to keep her from getting what she wanted. My boss looked at here and politely asked if he could help her.\n\n\"Yeah, you guys got samples?\" she asked with an authoritative tone.\n\n\"Not at the moment, ma'am, all we have is old popcorn from the cracks.\" he responded politely.\n\n\"What? Y'all can't gimme dat?\" she asked with a huff.\n\n\"no ma'am.\"\n\nShe began to spout off about how it was *our* job to satisfy her in any means necessary, no matter what. So of course, she demanded to speak to the manager. My boss said \"i'm the manager.\" She wasn't satisfied. \"Alright then, lemme call corporate.\"\n\nMy boss handed her one of our holiday pamphlets with the store number right on the back. Granted, this is a small business, so we don't have \"corporate.\" She began to walk away as she dialed the number on the phone. Suddenly, the phone in our store rang. My boss picked it up and very politely answered it, all while staring at her with a smile. The woman turned around and gave us the meanest death glare before thundering off.\n\nWe talked about how cool that was for the rest of the night.", "summary": "Woman wanted free popcorn, couldn't get, threatened to call corporate to get us fired, so my boss gave her the number to our store to call, which he answered himself."} {"id": "t3_1zn50z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M], can either pursue a long-time crush [21F] or get back together with ex in a guaranteed healthy relationship [20F]. Anyone else have something like this happen and how did you handle it?", "post": "Girl I currently have oneitis for made out with me last week [21F] and ex girlfriend [20F] just said she wants to get back together. Pursue the oneitis and most likely have it fall through, or get back into a guaranteed healthy relationship?\n\nI say \"most likely have it fall through\" because we have been just friends before this happened. I wouldn't make a move because I thought she wouldn't handle it well, and I just accepted that it was a long shot. Last weekend I said, fuck it let's see what happens, and she enthusiastically complied. We made out that day and the day after, so I thought it was going to continue, but she has become shy since then. Not uncommon for her, but not what I expected after what happened.\n\n[20F] And I split while she studied abroad and she didn't want to get back together when she got back. We had a great relationship before. Now, she all of a sudden says she regrets what she said and wants to get things back to where they were.\n\nJust looking for some insight. I don't know how to handle this. My gut is with my ex and my heart is with oneitis.\n\nSide note: I am most likely moving away in around 14 weeks and will not be by either of them to sustain any sort of relationship, long distance anything is currently out of the question. Which means an actual relationship probably wont happen. Should I just step back from both of them then? Just more confusion.", "summary": "I [21M], can either pursue a long-time crush [21F] or get back together with ex in a guaranteed healthy relationship [20F]. Anyone else have something like this happen and how did you handle it?"} {"id": "t3_tanir", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "DAE Think Game of Thrones Season 2 is terrible?", "post": "I would like to say that I absolutely loved the first season of Game of Thrones. It was fantastic, and followed very closely to what the book represented. The season was so powerful that I found myself looking forward to the second season, which would represent Clash of Kings. However, I currently can barely sit through a single episode without cringing every other second. There are so many discrepancies and so many integral themes or motifs that are left out. Why are they doing this? Why are they tearing apart at the portion of the audience that knows and loves the books, when they followed them so closely in the previous season?\n\nDoes anyone else feel this way?\n\nSorry if this comes out as a rant. But I can't understand why they are doing this.", "summary": "Game of Thrones followed the book closely in season 1. However, in season 2 they are ruining key character development scenes, throwing out important details, and building new ones based on poorly composed engagements. Why?"} {"id": "t3_3yozqf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25 F] boyfriend [24 M] of 2 years is very antisocial, his friends and brother contact me instead of him because he doesn't reply, I think he's jealous.", "post": "My boyfriend has a lot of social anxiety and is pretty withdrawn around other people. I don't mind this at all, we have both always worked very well with the dynamic that I make the plans and he goes along with it for the most part. Even things that he likes to do, like going to see his favorite bands play - if I don't make the plans, he won't think to do it. I'm worried, though, as he has mentioned that since he started dating me he puts even less effort into his friendships because he has me. When we started going out I would try to get him to remember his friends by asking if he had heard from them, if he wanted to invite anyone over, etc.\n\nGradually all his friends stopped trying to text him or make plans through him because he doesn't reply to them, and when we hang out he apologizes and tells them I'm the plan-maker. They all come to me as the point of contact for any invitations, etc. But now I get the feeling that he's jealous that his friends text me. I don't have any continued dialogue with them outside of just making plans involving all of us. He has mentioned having negative feelings toward some of his friends because of it. I've tried encouraging him to hang out with them alone but he doesn't put any effort into doing so. Even his younger brother (16 years old, in high school) texts me to ask him things. \n\nI have no idea how to handle this situation. Should I worry about it? Should I let him deal with it and trust that he'll come around and do something about it if it becomes a bigger deal?", "summary": "BF has social anxiety so he leans on me to make plans with his friends, now I think he's jealous about it."} {"id": "t3_3z7x28", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my friend [20F] of 3 years, friendship strained after living together.", "post": "My long-distance friend recently came to stay with me while she moved to my state. 2 weeks turned into a 4 months, and while a lesson in setting boundaries, things went from great to strained.\n\nShe can be moody and seems to depend on me to make decisions in our friendship. I'm someone who feels excessively responsible for other people and needs alone time to decompress from that. It might be clear how that dynamic could turn sour.\n\nWhether a side effect of the stress or just spending every day together, talking to her feels forced now. I'm almost paranoid about tension. But I'm the only person she really has here, and she needs companionship right now.\n\nI'm hoping that I just need a little time and then can push myself to talk to her like I used to until we rebuild rapport. But I'm worried that it's not a matter of time and the friendship will devolve into a burden, which isn't fair to either of us.\n\nSo:\n\n* Can anyone share their experience with successfully rebuilding a friendship? Has pushing through the discomfort until it's gone worked?\n\n* Any advice on being a supportive friend without taking on their stress?", "summary": "Lived with friend for 4 months, now our friendship's strained. Anyone got advice on getting rid of tension and finding that rapport again?***"} {"id": "t3_4bl8km", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by making 10 classrooms of 4th-Graders smell like marijuana.", "post": "This literally happened earlier today. My girlfriend, my roommates girlfriend and I decided to try and score some weed. We managed to find a hook up and got blazed. ( I am still pretty high) Thing was, we couldn't smoke in our apartment because of our roommates who don't really like it. We decided to smoke out on our apartments balcony. Today in our city, there was sustained 30MPH winds outside, which forced us to huddle up in a closet that out on our balcony. After many bong rips in the closet and a few hours later we walked out to realize there are 10 classroom boxes full of fanny pacs and childrens' t-shirts for their museum field trips. Let me explain, one of our roommates works as a tour guide for a local museum, and hands out fanny pacs and t-shirts to children while he gives them their tour. He had stored them in our outside closet and didn't tell any of us. \n\nMy roommate is pretty pissed.", "summary": "Smoked pot with some friends in a storage closet full of children's fanny packs and t-shirts today, that my roommate has to take and hand out to fourth graders in a few ours. Am still pretty baked."} {"id": "t3_12c2ad", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Need some advice, Going through a rough time and I'm worried I (f/21) am going to ruin my first healthy relationship (m/24)", "post": "when we first met I had a lot of things going for me and I was very sure of myself... 3 weeks in and he told me he was falling for me and I felt the same. Then I left for school which is a few hundred miles away from him, something happened and I literally fell apart. I was working towards a goal, put everything I had in it, made a lot of sacrifices, but it didn't work out. I was heartbroken and haven't been the same since.\nI use to be the one who was sure of myself, but now... well my insecurities are sabotaging our relationship.\nshortly after, things started falling into place for him. he has worked very hard to get where he is, and I'm so proud of him... seeing him happy like this truly makes me happy too.\nit feels like we switched rolls. He liked me more then I liked him, now I feel like I like him more than he likes me. We've been together for about six months now and I'm in love with him. We haven't dropped that \"L\" bomb yet because... well he seems to get very nervous and I don't see the need to pressure him, it will happen when it happens.\nI'm not doubting how he feels about me, if he didn't care he would be long gone by now. I know I'm not the easiest person to be in a relationship with... I'm stubborn, insecure, and well... basically a little shit.\nHe knew all this going in... he knew that I would be gone 3 weeks after he met me... he knew about my troubled past... but he didn't care. He was the first person to tell me I was worth something, and actually mean it.\nSo I guess what I'm asking from you guys is just a little support. I feel like I'm going to ruin this because I'm so insecure now. I lost a big part of me and I'm struggling to find a way to fill that hole. Any advice?", "summary": "insecure girlfriend that constantly searches for a problem after I had a big loss in my life. boyfriend is starting to get frustrated (and has every right to)... I need support"} {"id": "t3_156sxs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[25\\M] heard through the grapevine that my FWB [24\\F] has three more FWBs. Not sure if I want to continue", "post": "A while back I moved to a new city because I got a job there, and I visit my old town a few times per year. In my old town I have a FWB (friend with benefits) that I ocassionally hook up with. Now I'm back in my old time for Christmas and I heard through the grapevine that my FWB has had sex with 5 people since I was here in november, and that she has sex with 2 or 3 of those 5 people on a regular basis. \n\nNow I'm not really sure that I want to see her anymore. I know she is very careful with protection and checks herself for STDs after every encounter. But it still feels wrong to be a part of a harem, or whatever it would be. If it's true that I'm the 4th guy who bones her I don't know if I'm fine with that. \n\nIs it wrong of me to end my FWB arrangement with this girl because I don't want to be nr. 4? She has pursued a relationship with me in the past but I rejected her because I couldn't see a future with her, so it's not because of jelousy. If I wanted her all for myself, I could have that. But with her, I really just want sex so. Body tells me to continue, Brain tells me No.", "summary": "People in my old town are talking about my FWB, she has apperently 3 more guys that she has sex with and I don't feel comfortable being number 4. What would you do?"} {"id": "t3_2u46fy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (18F) totally messed up things with my boyfriend (19M) of 6 months, and he wants to end it.", "post": "So let's start off by saying we have been dating for 6 months. When we met he was very close to breaking things off with his (now ex) girlfriend at the time. They broke up, and we took an interest in each other, realized we had a connection and decided we would date. Now within those 6 months, we both made many many many mistakes. He had begun talking to his ex again about mid-October, nothing bad, but I told him I was uncomfortable with it, so he stopped. She was never brought up again until a few days after Christmas. \nThat whole previous week he was extremely jumpy anytime his phone buzzed, and when I asked him about it, I was told there is nothing he's hiding from me. I ended up being nosy (I know...not right), and went through his phone, seeing a conversation with her I became livid with him, I decided I would read through it a bit- he had said some things like asking if she would ever give him another chance, etc.., I confronted him about it. He said the holidays bring up memories and he was upset and missing her, and I can understand that. I also asked if he still had feelings for her, he tells me no, and we had a long talk about it all and he realized he hurt me and messed up. So I let them talk as friends. \n\nAfter all of this I didn't really trust him, and I became suspicious of things. He was at his friend's house and I searched his ex's address along with two of his other friends addresses to see whether he was lying or telling the truth about where he would go (we have our iphone locations on for eachother). He found out I searched their addresses (I hid it from him), and he got very upset at me. He ended up telling them what I did, and why (because I didn't trust him) and he won't tell me what they've said about it, but he did tell me there is a very real chance of us breaking up. Someone help me?!", "summary": "invaded boyfriend's privacy, found out he lied about talking to ex (twice), lost trust, did something really fucked up, and now i'm scared i'm gonna lose him."} {"id": "t3_13flrx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "20F cheated on repeatedly in past, me 22M, having issues convincing her I want her and not someone else", "post": "Hey guys,\n\nFirst, let me say. I am totally in love with this girl. I don't know if she's 'the one' but it's hard to imagine wanting anything else at this point in the relationship. We've been together for 6 months, and were friends for about 6 months before that. Our relationship is great. We talk way too much a day, despite her being abroad in Switzerland studying and me working 8 hours a day 5 days a week. We do have the occasional fight, but it's rarely a legitimate concern and more something caused by stress or the distance. \n\nThere is one rather apparent issue that I'd like some help with. She is convinced that I could do better than her and that I am settling. She is literally the most amazing person I've met and I am lucky enough that I get to share her life with her. I've tried everything I can think of to help her with trusting me but with matters specifically pertaining to her and how I find her beautiful or only want her she just can't believe me. I know time is likely to be the thing that helps her with this most but she is just the best thing that's ever happened to me and I want to know if there's some way I can help her believe that.\n\nShe has had this thing lately where she wants me to sleep with someone else once while she's abroad. This person needs to be specifically someone I find highly physically attractive (more so than her) and I need to have sex with her once to prove to myself (and my girlfriend) that I'm not hiding or denying some desire to sleep with someone else and cheat on her.\n\nI have literally no desire whatsoever and the only thing that would make me do that is if she threatened to break up with me over it. I realize this is kind of an absurd situation, but this is a real issue for her. I don't really feel as though I could adequately explain her situation to you guys without you experiencing it first hand but this is my attempt to do so.", "summary": "girlfriend has been cheated on many, many times in the past and I can't seem to convince her that I mean the things I say and want her, not other women."} {"id": "t3_4s2l2e", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Does it seem like this girl might like me?", "post": "First of all, I know it's impossible to objectively have a \"yes\" or \"no\" answer for this question, but I'm just trying to get a better idea of whether or not I might have a chance with her. Without further ado:\n\nI met this girl named Lilly (not real name) at my college's freshman orientation. I never interacted with girls much in high school and I decided that I wanted to change this right away.\n\n At lunch, I sat down at a table of 5 girls and we talked about where we're from, our intended majors, movies, and stuff like that. It went well and they laughed at my attempts at humor, but they seemed to want to talk amongst themselves (just girls), so I left them alone after lunch. Two of the girls in particular (Lily is one of them) were very friendly to me, but I thought they were just being polite. \n\nLater on, I did meet some more people, and at that point I figured that I wouldn't hear from any of the girls at the table again. \n\nThe next day, I was sitting on a bench when all of the sudden I saw Lily walking over to me. I was surprised that she'd approach me given my awkwardness at the table yesterday, but she was smiling and initiated a conversation with me. We talked about animals (a common interest between us) and our plans for our majors and possible careers. \n\nJust before she left, I got the courage to ask if she wanted to exchange social media, and she said she doesn't have any but is going to create an account for the college's facebook group. We then said goodbye and that we hoped to see each other in August. Does it seem like Lily might be interested in me, or is she just being polite?", "summary": "Met girl at college orientation, talked to her and she seemed to enjoy conversation, wondering if she likes me or I'm just delusional."} {"id": "t3_3gaggc", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to flirt with a customer at work", "post": "I'm a cashier at BJs, but I'm not going to say where to protect my anonymity.\n\nSo this really cute girl and her mom got on line. I was praying to god that I'd get to ring her up, and not the person behind me. I figured if it was meant to be then she'd end up at my register. Turns out I got lucky and I noticed she was next on my register. She was wearing a shirt with a bar code on it that read \"Check Me Out\" above it. Immediately an idea on how to flirt with her sparked into my head. So after her mom handed me their membership card, I tried scanning her shirt. When it wouldn't scan (for obvious reasons) I said, half jokingly \"Oh no, you're not scanning properly. I'll have to get the item's number.\" She giggled and smiled at me. But her mother looked at me and said \"You're disgusting!\". Then she took their cart, grabbed her by the arm and went to another line. Later on a supervisor came up to me and told me they got a complaint that a customer was \"uncomfortable with the way I was talking to their daughter.\"", "summary": "Tried to flirt with a girl at work by scanning her bar code shirt. Got called disgusting by her mom and got yelled at by my supervisor."} {"id": "t3_2o7dhz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [26M] girlfriend [24F] of 3.5 years has problems with my family.", "post": "Long time reader, but first time poster and this a throwaway account. I have been with my girlfriend for 3.5 years and she really does not like my family. \n\nWe had a great relationship until she moved into a condo with me that my parents own. My parents do not live with me. I am living there since I am a student. \n\nBack in February, my brother decided to stay with us for a week since he was working late and I lived nearby his work. I told her about this two weeks in advance and she was not happy about it because she felt intruded. I was not going to say no to my only brother and besides it is my family's place. \n\nDuring the week my brother stayed, she was out until midnight at her lady's friend apartment until I came to pick her up. My brother sensed something was wrong, asked me about it and I told him that my girlfriend was uncomfortable having him here, so he left the next day. I got into an argument with my girlfriend and she moved out leaving her belongings with me. I told her it was ok for her leave her her stuff at my place, so she would not have to rent a storage closet.\n\nI talked with my mom about the situation and she basically told my girlfriend had to take everything with her. My girlfriend felt like my mom kicked her out, but my girlfriend is the one who decided to move out, so I just did not feel like saying anything to my mom. Also, I was angry with her and was ready to leave the relationship. However, we decided to stay together. After that, my girlfriend does not like my family and avoids seeing them. \n\nSince November, my family is trying to patch things up with her, but she refuses to see them. From time to time, she will bring this topic up and argue with me. I have no idea to repair this problem. Any advice will be appreciated. I really love this girl.", "summary": "Brother decided to stay in a condo my family owns and then leaves because of girlfriend. Argued with girlfriend, she moved out and leaves her belongings. Mom tells her to take everything with her."} {"id": "t3_1zoavm", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Running a 12K on Saturday. Should I still go to my sports conditioning class Thursday?", "post": "Hi all, looking for some advice. I'm running a 12K on Saturday morning. This is not a terribly long distance for me, as I've done a number of half-marathons and when I run during the week, it's generally in the 5-6 mile range. My last training run was Tuesday and I ran 8 miles. I usually hit an awesome sports conditioning class on Thursdays. My legs are sometimes sore for a day or two afterwards, since squats and lunges are often involved. I'm looking for a decent time on this 12K, and the first 3 miles is uphill, so I'm wondering if I should just skip the class. What do you think?", "summary": "I'm running a 12K on Saturday that has a big hill. Should I skip my sports conditioning class on Thursday and just let my legs rest?"} {"id": "t3_kxqjt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Issues due to money.", "post": "I'm 25 with one year of grad. school to go. She's 31 with three years of grad school to go. We have been together for 8 months. I have a lot of student loan debt, she has about half as much currently but will have about the same amount as me once she graduates.\n\nI'm financially responsible and budget each month. I have no CC debt, but I do have car debt. She does not budget, has CC debt, car debt and house debt.\n\nShe's in a much more financially vulnerable state than me -- mostly due to her refusal to budget or deal with money using \"pencil and paper\".\n\nI've told her that budgeting and managing finances is a deal breaker for me. Her response was that \"she would do this for me, and agreed that it was a good idea for her independent of me.\"\n\nShe's only been on this budget for a month ... and so far had been doing fine, but now it's the end of the month and she takes a trip to see a friend (seven hour drive). So she's pretty much blowing her budget. She gets very stressed out whenever the topic of finances comes up, but has verbalized that she will try.\n\nI've made it clear that I have no wish to micro-manage her finances, and that I only want to teach her some skills, and it's her job to apply them.\n\nI feel hurt by her escapade, and feel that her words may have been hollow. However, it has/had only been one month and I know that this learning process will require many mistakes and failures to learn from.\n\nWhat do I do?", "summary": "I'm responsible with money, she's not, but has said she'll try; Not sure how to hold her accountable or when to back off."} {"id": "t3_51bg7j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "23/M. I'm thinking of getting back with my ex. Should I?", "post": "Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks. \n I'm 23/M and new to Reddit. So this is my first post. I know there are capable redditors to guide me through this conundrum. The break-up happened almost 6 years ago. I ended the relationship of just 2 months because her dad had found out about us and he had called my mom and insulted her. In that rage, I ended it. After so many years, I haven't been able to find anyone post-breakup and have been feeling quite lonely. Sometimes I feel like I ended the relationship too soon without giving it a chance. But I'm too scared to get back with her again. What if it doesn't work this time too? A little background info about her, she was with me from the beginning of kindergarten and she was a really good friend of mine and she had a really helpful nature. I admired her for that. Is it just the loneliness that's making me think in such a manner or should I really get back with my ex? If she's willing to or not, is is another story. But I was thinking of giving it a try. Back then, I wasn't thinking straight and was an arrogant asshole. Any opinions would be highly appreciated.", "summary": "is getting back with my ex after a span of 6 years a good idea? I'm feeling lonely and I don't understand if it'll be worth it."} {"id": "t3_1db4dj", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[26 F] knows there is no future but can't seem to break it off with [30 m]", "post": "Our 3 year relationship is happy and fun and we have a blast just sitting around doing nothing. I've never had this good of a time with any one. But it's obvious that there is no real future here. He's a sinking ship that I refuse to tie myself to. However, I can't seem to dump him because things are still \"good\". Any advice on how to deal with this? All my past relationship shave been dramatic and toxic at the end.. I have no idea how I can walk away from someone who still brings me so much joy. It feels like throwing away the whole bushel just because there's a few worms. (Though I know the bushel is doomed to spoil at some point). Haha, sorry for the shitty analogy.", "summary": "Relationship is happy but there is no chance to take it to the next level, how do I walk away from it while things are still so good?"} {"id": "t3_1cvsy6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Infection...[f20, m25]", "post": "I'm not sure if this is the correct sub, if not direct me to a more appropriate one.\n\nMy boyfriend and I have been together a year and during our relationship I have had maybe 5+ yeast infections (l had never had one before then...). I've ent to the doc, got antibiotics/used monistat etc. They keep coming back so I've decided that maybe we had sex before the yeast was gone and he got it and keeps giving it back to me. I've asked him to go to the doctor and get antibiotics too. That way it's all cleared up on both sides. He won't. He wants ME to go the doctor and get the meds for him. He doesn't even really think he needs meds. But of course, now we're not having sex and he's mad because of it. Wtf did he expect? So my questions here are: where do I go from here if he won't go get the meds? If I'd never had one before, did he give me the first one initially (we both ended up with HPV/warts)? And how can I convince him to go the doc?", "summary": "bf and I keep giving yeast infections back and forth, I'm getting medicine and he won't. Mad I won't have sex, what do?"} {"id": "t3_1irlte", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "We're casually dating, but won't see each other for nearly 2 months. Should I [24F] keep in touch with him [28M] during that time?", "post": "We've been seeing each other 1-2 times a week for 2 months, non-exclusively. He's seeing others, and as am I. I'm not his primary partner, but he's mine. I rather like him, and I have told him this - he says he likes me too, but I also know that he's the kind of guy who would beat around the bush to spare someone's feelings. He's always really sweet and affectionate when we're together. I tend to be the one to initiate contact and it feels a little one-sided, so there's definitely some confusion there as to where we stand.\n\nAnyhow, I like him and I want to continue to see him even if it's just in this casual way. Thing is, we're both on massive overlapping holidays abroad and the earliest that we'd be able to see each other again is in September. He was the one who suggested a casual thing and I'm really new to non-monogamy. Should I just send him a quick message on facebook to ask how things are going and such? Or is that taboo? Do I play it cool and not talk to him for almost 2 months?", "summary": "should I play it cool and stay out of contact for a month and a half with the guy I'm casually seeing, or do I send a quick message to see how he's doing?"} {"id": "t3_4gxsdv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by taking the wrong paperwork to the DMV", "post": "Today was my drivers test. I've had a permit for five years, taken two Drivers Ed courses, and tried to schedule this dang test seven times. Every single time, I was turned away because something was wrong with my paperwork: a word or date scratched out, name typed in wrong, or just missing the paper outright.\n\nFinally, after two months since it was scheduled, my test was today. The test wasn't until four, so I spent the whole day checking and rechecking that everything was perfect. I went over everything twice with my mom, just to be certain. At three o'clock, she and I hopped into my sister's car - mine has a wonky speedometer - and drove to the DMV.\n\nWe spent an hour and half waiting for the instructor. In that time, my paperwork was processed and approved. Everyone was so kind and trying to help me relax. I was finally called for the vehicle inspection, so out we went.\n\nShe asked for the car's insurance card. I got it out and handed it to her, all while exchanging small talk. Suddenly she frowns and says it's expired. By a week. Shit. I searched for a newer one but the FIVE that were in the car were from two years ago.\n\nWe were given five minutes (they close at five and the test would take 20 minutes) to email her the correct card. Mom couldn't remember her password for the company's website and no other family member would pick up their phones.\n\nI was told the next opening wasn't until June 27th. I went out to the car to cry, and apparently another employee recognized me and explained to the instructor how many times I've been trying for this. She made an opening for me early on Tuesday morning.\n\nWhat really pissed me off was that the card was only effective for nine days... If only I had checked.", "summary": "Insurance card was expired by a week, was turned away from the DMV for the umpteenth time on the day of my test."} {"id": "t3_3mjosv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my SO [26 M] of two years, he wants to move 2000 miles away for a 1 year clerkship. Should we stay together?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years, we're both in the same field/graduate program, except he is a year ahead of me. Great relationship, never been happier, all that good stuff. \n\nHe just got a great opportunity to go clerk for one year, 2000 miles away from home (me!). We were discussing possible logistics last night, and I came up with a balancing test to evaluate if we should stay together, LDR-style. Fundamentally, I'm against \"real\" LDRs - one hour, two hours, three hours away (by car) is fine. This would be a 29 hour car ride, or a 7 hour flight. Different time zone, all that. This is why I created the balancing test. The considerations are: (1) length of time together; (2) substance of the relationship (married, engaged, dating); (3) length of time away; and (4) the reason for leaving. \n\nMy SO doesn't want to run through the test with me, claiming that \"he loves me\" and thats enough of a reason for us to stay together while he leaves. I'm having trouble making this decision. What are your thoughts, reddit?", "summary": "boyfriend is moving away for a year, I'm uncomfortable with significant LDRs, and we're deciding what to do. Help!"} {"id": "t3_2874rm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Emotional cheating?", "post": "My(22/m) gf(22/m) and I have been going through a rough patch in our relationship recently. We met in college and have been together for about 2 years. I graduated and moved home about 9 months ago while she just recently graduated so we have been in a long distance relationship for that length of time.\n\nBottom line is long distance relationships are really hard. She was being her social butterfly self and meeting a bunch of people within the past few months and basically put our relationship lower on her priority list. My complaints were becoming increasingly frequent up until about two weeks ago when she started preparing for finals. This is when she got fed up with trying in our relationship. She demanded that we so talking until after she graduated, claiming that the thought of me makes her super stressed out.\n\nShe said that she can't worry about my happiness when she is under all this stress. She also does not handle stress well. This is understandable so far as to get reasons for not wanting to talk to me. But I had a gut feeling that she had another outlet on the side that she was talking to during or little period of not talking.\n\nMy suspicions were correct when I snooped(I know I'm terrible) and found that she has been talking to a guy frequently for a while. By frequently I mean right when she wants up until she goes to sleep. Their messages were nothing intimate but there was an air of flirtation. She updated him on how she was feeling throughout the day as she was always feeling like crap due to the all nighters she had to pull (he also stayed up). All of this happened when we were not taking to each other.\n\nI feel like she had been emotionally cheating on me. He was like a sit in boyfriend when I was gone. I confronted her about it and she thought I was crazy. I asked that she stopped talking to him as he made me feel very insecure and she agreed. She said that she had to pick, she would choose me over him any day.\n\nWhat is reddit's opinion on this matter? Was I overreacting our was she cheating?", "summary": "did not talk to gf for 2 weeks during period of high stress and she started taking to another guy for an uncomfortable amount. An I overreacting or was she emotionally cheating?"} {"id": "t3_2c85wf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24/F] boyfriend [27/M] of 10 months pisses me off, but I don't know how to talk to him about it.", "post": "I'll start off by saying that he's an international student from Saudi Arabia; I'm an American attending the same school here in the US. He's been home visiting family for a little over a month now.\n\nIt frustrates me that he can find the time to call our roommates like, every 2 or 3 days but he hasn't called me in weeks, and he'll go a week without even a text or whatsapp message saying hi. I try to avoid being clingy, but it makes me feel very unimportant in his life.\n\nHe also has a way of making me feel like I'm stupid. I'm not, but he'll phrase things in such a way as if the answer is completely obvious and I somehow missed the answer to a painfully simple question.\n\nGenerally speaking, he's a great guy and sometimes I do feel as if he genuinely cares. But a lot of times, I feel under-appreciated. I don't know how to bring this up without sounding clingy, but in my mind, it's not too much to call once every two weeks.", "summary": "My boyfriend, who has been out of the country for a month, can make time to call our roommates every 3 days but hasn't called me in weeks. I don't know how to bring this up without sounding clingy."} {"id": "t3_2sk1uj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my husband[26 M] married 2 years, some might say nearly the perfect guy, but cycling through modes of shear panic and marital entrapment.", "post": "If been married for just over two years, now. Everything from the outside appears to be normal, loving (house, dog, no kids), both with good jobs and lots of friends surrounding us.\n\nEvery 3-4 months of so, I go through stages of wanting out of my marriage commitment. I feel an overtaking of emotion and need to escape. I will go so far as to shop apartments online and plan a budget for living alone. \n\nIt's not that I have someone else in mind, but more of a wanting to be alone. I want to live on my own where I feel as though I don't have to deal with the humdrum of marital life and a space that it mine and mine alone.\n\nThe problem is... I have no reason for feeling this way (or atleast seemingly no reason). My husband is loving, smart, funny and handsome. But I have a lingering want to live alone. And as time is ticking on the question and thoughts of children are beginning to come up more and more\n\nSo I can basically stfu and deal with whatever these emotions are or leave my husband.", "summary": "My husband is wonderful, but I have a lingering want to be on my own. Anyone else been here? Maybe the better question is how big of an asshole am I for feeling this way?"} {"id": "t3_3kzjvc", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting a Lego cake at work", "post": "First post here. I'm just distraught over this, and needed to share. \n\nMy bf and I had a pretty big fight last night. We went to bed with a little bitterness, and I had to leave early for work this morning. \n\nI was pretty upset about the fight, but my bf, being the sweetheart he is, texted me saying he would have dinner ready for me (he had school until the evening as well).\n\nI wanted to do something special for him, so I went into a cafe which is known for their pastries, and found the perfect cake. It was a colourful Lego cake, made out of different flavoured mousse. It was my lucky day!! I took the last one there, had it boxed, and went back to work. I stored it in the staff room fridge, and even set an alarm on my cell phone so I wouldn't forget it. \n\n15 min before I was leaving, the alarm went off. I was ready to take the cake home! But I also had some cleaning up to do. (I work with kids. So a lot of materials to put away). \n\nI cleaned up, got my stuff and left with a fellow worker. We talked on the bus, just about ourselves, when it suddenly hits me. I left the cake in the fridge. To make matters worse, my next shift is on Thursday. \n\nI calmly told the coworker to have the cake, as it was untouched. Inside, I was heartbroken. I had this wonderful cake to give to my bf to make up for last night, but that all just went down the drain. \nI still want to cry about it.", "summary": "Bought an awesome Lego cake for bf as a make up gift. Forgot it at work. Next shift is on Thursday. Lost cause."} {"id": "t3_f45kz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I need to create a website for my small business. Where should I look to hire a coder that can make this happen? Budget is currently $2,000.", "post": "I'm going to be launching my own business later this year and I need to tackle the online aspect of it. I need to create a website that acts as a portal for potential clients to input their information and make payments. The information needs to be handled securely and inputted into form documents which I can then print.\n\nDo any of you know where I can hire a coder to make this happen? I've heard horror stories regarding elance (mostly on the coder's side). I would really like to find someone who does quality work. My budget is about $2,000, subject to change as needed.", "summary": "I need to find a website programmer to make a pain in the ass website for my business. Asking for advice on where I can find one."} {"id": "t3_2t0eqb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24M] boss [35F] is pressuring me to hand my letter of resignation in earlier than I want to.", "post": "Hi,\n\nSo last week I told my boss that I was planning on resigning from my role in a small organisation at the end of March. My contract states that I have to provide 30 days notice before resigning, but for some reason I decided to just be honest so we can spend the next 2 months productively creating a succession plan.\n\nWe worked with someone who we knew for a while would be an ideal person to work with us many months back, and it turns out that person is probably going to be available at the end of February.\n\nNow my boss has seen this as a big opportunity to bring the person in (budget is tight, so its easier to recruit since I'm going). The law in my country says that if you give notice to leave that is longer than the required amount (e.g. if I put it in writing, I would be giving 70 days notice), my employer doesn't have to accept this and can choose to only let me work for the minimum notice period (30 days, so end of February).\n\nMy boss has indicated that to bring this other person in, she'd like me to leave earlier. I don't want to forego my paycheque in march, so I'm reluctant. Recently she has really started to pressurise me to hand my formal letter of resignation in so she can invoke the 30 day notice period.\n\nWhat can I say to her to delay this, without seeming like I don't care about her (or the company's) needs? I don't want to burn bridges, but at the same time don't want to lose a month's worth of work.\n\nWould really appreciate your help reddit. Thanks", "summary": "Boss is pressurising hand my letter of resignation in earlier than I want to. I'm reluctant but don't know how to respond."} {"id": "t3_21cibu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] And My Best Friend [23F]", "post": "So I have this problem and I want peoples input on it. So I have this friend who is a girl we have know each other for about six months and have been super close since day one. Both of us were single and talked like every day. Three months after meeting her, she told me she liked me and me being the wimp that I am said we should just stay friends. Lol after a day of weirdness things went back to normal and we stayed best friends. Two months later she met this guy and started dating him. They were happy for about a month but soon the new relationship thing faded and she realized she really does not like him. She is still dating him but all she does is complain about him to me. We are still best friends and recently I realized I am crazy about her. I don't know what to do, I want her to leave him and go out with me but I don't want to put her in a position where she has to choose. What do you guys think? Thanks!", "summary": "both single, became best friends, she likes me, friend zone her, she gets bf, now crazy about her, lost"} {"id": "t3_1ns0y5", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Current situation involving a girl I have known for a long time.", "post": "So this is mostly just to vent and to end my feelings. I feel like I have to tell someone I am done. I have known this girl for over a year. When i first met her we had a connection even though she had a boyfriend. I did nothing but tried to be friends. We became close. When they broke up (due to his constant cheating) I got drunk and asked her out 2 days after (it was a mistake I know). Fast forward a month and I go over for one of her roommates going away parties. It was a set up to get me and her alone together so she could kiss me and tell me she like me a lot. We set up a time to go on a date after I went to a wedding for my cousin. During the time I was gone she got back together with her ex. She said she was confused and didn't want to through away a 3 year relationship. Even though I had feelings I agreed to be friends for now. Tonight I go to a party at her house she invited me to. I leave to go to the bars and she asks me to come back after they close. I do. The short of the rest of the story is a guy who is friends with one of her friends friends, ends up going to bed with her. I have put myself out there more times than I should of and I am done. I do not have the time or patience to wait on her to make a good decision. I do feel bad about it but I cannot and will not keep putting my heart on the line only to see it trampled on. It has been a long time since I have had these feelings towards someone but unrequited love is not worth it. Sorry to be venting so much but I wont go to my close friends with this due to the fact that they do not need more drama in their lives and so far I have been drama free for 3 years.", "summary": "Girl goes back and forth between me and her ex. When she has the chance she picks some guy she just met over me."} {"id": "t3_1vecyh", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "I'm in the wrong field.", "post": "So, I'm stuck in a rut, /r/jobs, and I need your help. I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I'll gladly cross-post to the appropriate subreddit if I need to.\n\nSo, to begin, I graduated in 2010 in a regular high school. Messed around for a good two years, going on and off of retail jobs, but mostly sitting on my ass and playing video games. By the end of 2012, I decided that I needed to further my education, and looked to join the Medical field. For the longest time, I thought I was doing the right thing, and making the right choice for myself. I figured that I like talking to people, I like helping them, and the human body is pretty cool, so why not get into a career as a Medical Assistant. So, that's what I did. I now have a diploma as a Medical Assistant, and I don't want it.\n\nI ended up going to a school that did nothing but suck up my money for 10 months, as I realise now, and I now have a shitty job doing nothing but verifying patient insurances and getting harassed by both my coworkers and patients. I feel like I'm going nowhere, and I'm not learning anything. Now, I don't mind these social problems, because naturally, that's how life is. But I just wish I'd gone with my gut and went to college for IT, like I'd planned in high school.\n\nNow, this is where I turn to you for help. Ever since I could remember, I spent my life on the computer: playing video games as a kid, and as I grew up, I wanted to learn more about computers and how they worked. I really enjoy the hardware aspects of computers, and I always found fun in building things, taking them apart, learning about them, and putting them back together. (I was obsessed with Legos as a kid) Where do I even begin with working in the information technology career? Am I even looking in the right place? I feel like I'm stuck and I have no idea where to go, or what to do.", "summary": "Wasted money at a shit \"medical\" school, now have a shitty medical assistant job, and yearning to work with and learn more about computers. What do I do? Where should I start?"} {"id": "t3_4ljtka", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "eBay account hacked, not sure what to do next", "post": "Part of me loves eBay, the other half hates it. A few days ago, my eBay and Paypal accounts were both hacked. Thankfully, I got my eBay account back. The hacker listed 20 or so copies of Adobe Acrobat, of which 7 sold, two people bought one each, and one dude bought 5. Obviously, I don't have the items to actually sell, so I filed to cancel the orders. I messaged the people who bought them alerting them to the situation and that I don't have the products to sell. However, there was some internal error and I had to log in to my PayPal account in order to issue the refunds. This is where things get messy. After 3 or 4 days, I've not heard back from any of them. I can't get into my PayPal account as that was breached as well and I've not had luck getting back into it. I'm at an impasse. Should I use my own money in order to issue the refunds even though I don't have access to the nearly $600 this hacker scammed these people out of, or should I leave things as they are? I don't think I'll be able to get back into my PayPal account as the email address I used for it all those years ago has been long since lost to time (domain for host got sold).", "summary": "my eBay and PayPal accounts were hacked, hacker sold products on my account before I could get it back, order cancel requests error'd. What do?"} {"id": "t3_34aqmu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend's mother [50] sends me gifts for holidays while I'm away at school. Would it be inappropriate to send her a mother's day card?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, and it's long distance because I go to college out of state. For Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday even Easter his mom sends me care packages, cards, flowers, pretty much anything. I was at the store looking at mother's day cards for my mom, and I thought that since my boyfriend's mom does so much for me, I should get her one as well. My boyfriend thinks it might be a little weird because none of his past girlfriends have done anything like that before. However, I'm the only one that has really spent time talking to her in person, and we talk on Facebook a lot. Do you guys think it would be okay to get her a card?", "summary": "Boyfriend's mother does a lot of nice things for me, I want to know if it'd be weird to get her a card for Mother's Day."} {"id": "t3_pi5xp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the scammiest salesman tactic you've experienced?", "post": "Just the day before, I got a call from a guy named Jared, referred to me by my dad. I usually take care of the secretarial shit for my dad's business.\n\nJared told me that our restaurant got picked for one of the bests in the city, and he wanted to set up an interview. He told me he has picked many candidates, and he will notify me if our restaurant gets selected. He told me the interview process was about 30 minutes long, and I just needed an internet connection to share a screen with him. I missed our first appointment because of a class, called him, he said he had no more appointment slots available but immediately. I found a computer in a hurry at the university library even though I needed to go to work.\n\nBeing published as one of the bests is a good news, so I made time for this guy, even though I'm going through midterm season. We share screens with join.me, and what he has for me is a fucking powerpoint presentation. He worked for a start-up called SinglePlatform, and was presenting me shit on how important menus are to a restaurant and the services they offer. All while he has convinced my dad that we're picked as one of the best restaurants in the city, need to go through a selection progress, and might end up paying if we are selected. I googled his company, told him about the package his company offered, called bullshit on his bullshit, and cut the session short.", "summary": "he told us we were selected for best restaurant list and wanted to interview/have candidate selection process, but was a salesperson trying to sign us up to have our menu online for $395/year"} {"id": "t3_3xj6zf", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[27/F] My mother is crazy and my father is using me as a crutch", "post": "Starting about 7 years ago, my mother began to have delusions that my father was spying on her for the government and moved to CA by herself for half a year. We don't know what happened then, but she finally came back to my dad asking him for help. My dad told me all these events in secret, and promised to never let my mom know that I know about all this. She herself is a psychiatrist, and refuses to see any other psychiatrists. She gets some meds through her PCP and it helps some, she no longer has delusions (that we know of). However, in the last 5 years, she has become increasingly rigid in her thinking and habits, and constantly yells at my dad for perceived slights or listening to music or TV (which she used to love but now she hates).\n\n My dad is very introverted and stoic, and has long since given up on trying to convince my mom to see someone. He himself does not argue with her and has turned more and more to me to vent and complain. I get so depressed and upset when I hear about these things, I am an only child and these people have been my world my whole life. I have already asked my dad not to talk to me about these things, but then I feel so guilty since I know he has no one else to talk to. I am at the end of my rope. I have been longing to try to talk to my mom more frankly about her issues, but she shuts me down whenever I try. She spends the day playing sudoku and napping, almost nothing else. She tells me that she is simply content and is confident that the 'afterlife will be better'.", "summary": "My mom is a crazy psychiatrist who refuses to see other psychiatrists and mistreats my dad, so my dad feels terrible and constantly complains to me which makes me feel horrible."} {"id": "t3_2i58qs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] feel suffocated by my boyfriend [20M] even though we don't spend a lot of time together as it is", "post": "Hey guys, so I'm a sophomore in college and I'm having problems with my boyfriend of 2 years. I'm in a really rigorous program (I was taking 12 classes at the beginning of the semester but I dropped one because it was just too much, so now I'm taking 11). Classes taking up my Mondays-Fridays 8:00am to 5:45pm and after that I have homework and practicing musical instruments.\n\nI have an amazing, faithful, loyal, wonderful boyfriend who goes to school a couple subway stops away from me, but lately I've been feeling like he's being too clingy for my liking. He has a much lighter schedule than I do (he's taking 4 classes) and always wants to hang out whenever I have free time, which is understandable. \n\nMy problem is that I want most of my (very limited) free time to be by myself and just chill without talking to or interacting with anyone. I've been suffering from depression since I was a young child, and he's aware of that as well as all my other issues (some intense emotional abuse in a previous relationship). He's very understanding about all that and I've expressed my need for \"me-time\" with him, and he said he understood, but I think he was just trying to be nice.\n\nWhen we do spend time together, for some reason that I can't figure out, I would rather act like friends than boyfriend/girlfriend. I'm really not feeling PDA and my libido has dropped due to all the stress I'm under from school. My boyfriend is way into PDA and very touchy-feely, which I used to be, but not so much anymore. I feel like I can handle school and I can handle my boyfriend, but I can't handle both at the same time.\n\nI can't imagine breaking up with him. He's the sweetest human being I've ever met and I know I need him, I just don't always feel it. I don't know what to do, I can't tell him all this because I'm afraid it would crush him.", "summary": "For a reason I don't understand I want to spend my free time by myself, but I don't want to hurt my boyfriend's feelings. Thoughts?"} {"id": "t3_4r890x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [25/m] slept over my house for or anniversary and it went bad.", "post": "Not that our relationship went bad. But my boyfriend moved back home because rent went up to 800 a month to which he couldn't afford with school, car payments, and a job unwilling to give him a raise. He slept over my house for our anniversary and when I took him home he asked me to stay and watch an episode of breaking bad with him - his mother came in and started calling him disrespectful and immature for not calling her throughout the day to tell her where he was or what he was doing. I asked him why he didn't tell her you were sleeping over if that's what it took to get her off his ass - his reply was that she wouldn't let him go because she doesn't believe in people sleeping together unless they're married. \n\nWhat do I do with someone who has traditional parents? I don't want to let that affect us or anything.", "summary": "boyfriend's mom flipped on him for sleeping over, he's 25, she called him immature. what do I do? I don't want it to affect us."} {"id": "t3_17ft9x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [16]F boyfriend [17]M of one year forgot about me for an entire day...", "post": "Bit of background, Ive had the flu for about 4 days. The first few days he texted me, everything was fine. Then yesterday, he didn't text me at all, all day. When I texted him, he admitted to just... forgetting about me.\n\nNow, I don't demand much in the area of texting. Once a day before bed, a quick \"I love you.\" We used to talk all the time, he was like my best friend. Now... I'm lucky to even get a text between all his video games and stuff. We see each other at school for maybe 10 minutes tops. He claims \"there's nothing to talk about\".\n\nI don't know how to respond. I think about him constantly. He said hes sorry and that he loves me, I don't doubt that. I just don't know where to go from here.", "summary": "I'm sick, boyfriend of a year forgot about me for an entire day. Communication has dwindled as it is. Don't know where to go from here."} {"id": "t3_39xyyj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [32 M] with [27/F] looking for advice on making a long distance relationship work", "post": "Hey guys, I've been dating this girl for 6 months now and we live 4 hours apart via car, 1 hour via plane. So far the distance doesn't seem to be causing any issues. We have great daily communication and try not to go more than 3-4 weeks without seeing one another. We both have busy schedules so its not always easy to coordinate a weekend to hang out but it seems to be working so far. We try to have the next 3 on going months planned out so we know exactly when will see one another. We always do something fun when we hang out, maximize our weekends together and growing closer and closer with each weekend. I've known her for over 7 years now but recently started taking things more serious and I would love to make this work. I was curious to know if anyone out there has some advice on making long distance work or someone who has had success with it in the past? I know some people have a much longer distance to deal with and 4 hours isn't bad at all but there still lingers a gap of not seeing one another regularly that can make it difficult. Any tips or recommendations on what you did that worked and what I should try to stay away from? Thanks in advance for your knowledge and experience.", "summary": "seeing this girl for the last 6 months, we live 4 hours apart and I'm looking for advice to make this work and not let the distance get in the way."} {"id": "t3_363onh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Lonely, discontented [27 M] while my hyper busy law student [25 F] GF is off at job/school.", "post": "I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half. We've had some ups and downs in that period (one of which was documented in this forum--check my history). On the whole, our relationship has gotten warmer and more loving with time.\n\nStill, I have doubts.\n\n**She works 30-40 hrs/week and goes to law school 4x/week, until 8 or 9 PM. I work 25 hours a week and do career-building volunteering on the side.** It's been a stressful and lonely past few months; a lot of my friends in town are also coupled off, a few more have moved, and I'm still getting used to scheduling social activities. \n\nWe only see each other 2x a week. She promises that the next 3 years won't be as bad. But it's been really hard, and I don't think I really want to have our time so heavily structured by her other priorities for so long.\n\n**When we hang out, things are great.** In our days away, my doubts rear their ugly head, and I feel the strong urge to quit the relationship.\n\nIn those moments alone, I experience waves of doubt and anxiety. I'm understanding that anxiety as a suppression of deeply held doubts that I don't really see a long term future with her--in spite of our caring, sweet relationship, I've never felt as drawn to her as I think I should be, or as she deserves. \n\nThat thought causes guilt, which causes me to second-guess the idea that this has anything to do with the relationship.\n\n**I've always felt alienated during long stretches alone, and that's not her fault.** Nor will it go away if we break up. But I'm realizing companionship is an important part of relationships for me, and I'm not getting that here.", "summary": "My girlfriend is busy with grad school. In my time alone, I feel deep doubts about our future. How do I know if that's my loneliness, or our incompatibility?"} {"id": "t3_19j7dq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (19f) explain to my boyfriends(19m) parents that we don't need a babysitter?", "post": "I can believe I actually have to ask this.\nI've been living with my boyfriend and his family for almost 2 years now. We are both 19 and in college. We are living here to save money while we are in school. I do all of the cleaning in the house, some of the cooking, and the laundry for me and my boyfriend. I also help with groceries when I can.\nHis parents left on a vacation for a week and left his grandma as a babysitter. I even heard her on the phone saying she was babysitting the kids. Now he has a younger brother who is 15, but the 2 of us have taken care of him before for just as long and nothin bad happened. In fact it was quite successful.\nWhen the parents get back, how do I confront them about this in a way that won't jeopardize my living arrangements and my relationship with them?", "summary": "I have no polite way of telling my boyfriends parents that we are no longer children and don't need babysitters. How do I tell them without fucking myself over?"} {"id": "t3_43nktx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my first (ex) girlfriend [23 F]. She just exited a serious LTR, and wants to meet for drinks.", "post": "So, some background: We dated through high school for about a year. I enjoyed the time and so did she, I ended up breaking it off with her when I went to University. To my shame, we would meet up after we had broken-up to hook-up. This continued for at least as long as we dated. We never actually had sex, in fact and this is probably the strangest thing, we would make out, and I would take off her clothes and finger her, but was too self-conscious to let her touch me. I enjoyed it physically, but I think I could feel her pretty much emotionally break apart as this went on. Things did not end amicably during this period. \n\nFast forward to today, I got a Facebook message from said girl, we'll call her Shelby. She has just (been) broken up with (by) someone a week ago. I'm not really sure of the details. We talked a little bit, and I explained I was really focused on school, business and several projects, and that I wasn't interested in dating or looking for love. She suggests we hang out, and I feel like in a bit of desperation, I've agreed to meet her tomorrow night for drinks. \n\nI can't help but feel like I'm some sort of bandaid, and given our history, I feel like drinks will lead immediately to a hook-up relationship. Has anyone had any good experiences with this? I want to develop healthy relationships and I feel that if I allow this to sink into a hook-up I'm going to disqualify myself from much healthier relationships. Advice?", "summary": "Opportunity to finally sleep with first girlfriend, but I feel that it might not be the best idea. Questions, comments, snide remarks?"} {"id": "t3_1z0p85", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm [21/m] dating someone [20/f] non-exclusively, what can I do to stand out from the competition?", "post": "So I've been dating this fantastic girl for a month and a half now and I really enjoy the time spent with her. We are dating non-exclusively but I'm really starting to like her, problem is I know that I'm not the only guy she is dating (It's casual so I don't have any right to complain). She still puts forth a lot of time and effort to see me, but I want to make sure I stay one step ahead of the other guy. Has anyone had any experience with casual dating like this and can offer some pointers? Is it in my interest to back off and play the hard to get game or should I pursue her more? We've talked exclusivity but she isn't ready yet, so I want to make sure next time I bring it up she has no doubts that she likes me more than the other guy.\n\nObviously she likes who she likes and I can't control that, but I feel like I could use some pointers since I've never been in this situation.", "summary": "Casually dating this girl for a while, I know she is dating someone else. What are some things I can do to stand out over the other guy?"} {"id": "t3_32dtlv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 F] stopped dating [28 M] after about a month, felt horrible anxiety with him but cannot figure out why", "post": "I was dating a wonderful man for about a month, but had been talking with him more as friends for a couple months prior to that. He has so many qualities I want in a partner and I felt a good, fundamental connection with him. I found him cute and enjoyed being physical very much although I never really felt a 'head over heels' feeling for him. He completely accepted me and liked me very much. He is the first person I have dated in years and the first person in a very long time that I felt had great long term potential.\n\nVery soon after we began dating I got horrible anxiety and would think about breaking up with him constantly. I would get tightness in my chest and would think over and over that we just had to break up, although I was not certain why. It intensified as we started sleeping over with each other and then having sex. We eventually ended things after one of my anxiety episodes since we were both feeling horrible about how I would get anxious with him. \n\nI usually feel anxious in my relationships but it has never been to this extent. I'm terrified of always having that feeling of 'this isn't right' in the back of my mind with someone. I'm so sad things did not work with him. I can't figure out where these feelings came from.\n\nI'm wondering if anyone else has had these types of feelings and if you have gotten past them, and if so, how. I am already in therapy and trying to up my self care routine (meditation, exercise, yoga). I am not that young and would like to figure this out so I can be in a healthy relationship some day.", "summary": "Felt horrible anxiety while dating someone wonderful and don't know why. Want to know if anyone else has had these feelings and what they are."} {"id": "t3_kzeae", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Want to go on a 2-3 day mini vacation from NH with little-no cash. Where to?", "post": "Going by myself, because i need to get away for a few days. Im going to sleep in my car, because im not going to be spending almost any money. I live in the seacoast of NH, and Im going to be leaving next Sunday at 2pm. I need to come home Tuesday morning for work by noon. Where should I go? Any suggestions?\n\nI had the idea to drive up to NYC, (6 hour+/- drive) although i've already been there, so maybe not... Looking for scenic places, i guess. I do, however, see the NH folliage everyday lol. Anywhere really, just needing time to get away from reality for a bit.\n\nThe only money i really want to spend, is on gas/tolls. Im going to bring food. \n\nI cannot afford this for the life of me, but Im in a rut, and I need to do something spontaneous. Im going to bring my camera. I need a small get-away.\n\nAny help reddit?", "summary": "Where can i go from southern NH for 2-3 days driving, while spending little to no money? (no hotels or food)"} {"id": "t3_uxxoh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the most painfully embarrassing way you've seen someone try to take back or talk their way out of something they've said?", "post": "Yesterday a woman accidentally dropped a box on my foot at the grocery store. She started apologizing profusely, but then she asked if I was angry. I said that I wasn't and that everything was cool, and she replied with \"well that is good, your type always seem to be angry about something.\" I stopped for a second and asked what she meant by that; she said that she didn't mean to offend, but that it was natural to assume that \"African Americans\" (I am from Idaho for fuck's sake) are usually angrier than their white counterparts.\n\nI pointed out that what she said was a tad racist. She said, \"no no, I'm not a racist, sorry if I came off that way.\" I was expecting more of an apology, but she followed it up instead with \"I just happen to know from studying evolution, that black African negroids (hand on the bible, her actual words) have to be more aggressive because you can't make the technology that makes hunting easier. This means you have to be angrier to help you hunt better like normal Africans. See, I wasn't being racist, I just know about evolution\"\n\nI just stared blankly, which she took as a sign of being puzzled. \"You know what evolution is right?\" she said, \"It is an idea that Charles Darwin came up with, do inner-city schools teach about him?\" I abruptly walked away without saying anything else. I was afraid my angry negro death rage might get the better of me. It makes me do +10 flame damage to crackers you know. Kidding aside, it was an overwhelmingly awkward and almost painful experience. I honestly didn't think people like that existed this far into civilization.", "summary": "Lady said something kinda racist. Tried to talk her way out of it with some of the most racist shit I have ever heard in my life."} {"id": "t3_4ke06u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19/M] girlfriend [22/F] leaves most of the time without telling me she's about to", "post": "Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.\nHey, so i've been with my gf for quite sometime now. We live a bit far from each other so WE do not get to meet each day(sometimes we don't meet for a whole week). Anyways so we mostly talk over Facebook/Viber Voice chat ect.. \n\nSo whenever I'm talking to her, she's always my priority, I'd only focus on talking to her when she's online. But I'm sure it's not the case for her. She can leave mid conversation without telling me she has to, it was okay at first now she does this every time. I talked to her about it and she just told me that she has things to do sometimes and they were all poor reasons, I mean I could leave due to many other reasons but I just don't.. \n\nAm I being a bit more worried than I'm supposed to?", "summary": "my gf leaves mid conversation and it's annoying, talked to her about it but she's still the same. What am I supposed to do?"} {"id": "t3_2jj4cu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24 F] partner is having a crisis and I [23 M] don't know how to deal with it", "post": "As a background, me and my partner have been together for 4 years. Everything has been pretty good until recently. She comes from a rough background, she was put up for adoption when she was really young and when we first started dating she became part of the family.\n\nRecently she's had a major identity crisis. She's been unemployed almost the entirety of our relationship, with odd jobs like paper rounds. Her mental state and anxiety keeps her away from more permanent jobs, but we're working on that.\n\nWhile she's been at home unemployed, she gets really obsessive over certain things online. First it was Youtube, she would be so involved in Youtube personalities, and when there would be a youtuber that would come to our city (Toronto) she would want to drop everything to go see if we could meet them, and then freak out and cancel when the day would come.\n\nRecently it's been tumblr, she's caught onto tumblr since \"activist\" Suey Park took offence to Stephen Colbert and since has been following activist, feminist and sjw tumblr blogs. I'm all for her supporting certain movements, even if I don't agree with them, but it's just got to be too much.\n\nShe now proclaims to be a feminist, doesn't identify with being female anymore she is now \"xe\" as she is \"gender neutral\" and just jumps onto the biggest tumblr sjw bandwagon that's going around that day.\nEvery time I try mention it, suddenly she gets angry, claims that the \"patriarchy\" is forcing her to assume stereotypical gender roles. She has a lot of psychological problems as it is, and this just makes it worse.\n\nI love this girl, and despite her problems, I want to be around her. My family loves her, my friends love her. This is just too much, and I don't know how to go about weening her off Tumblr in a way she'll agree to.", "summary": "my partner is obsessive with tumblr which is causing our relationship to crumble. It sounds stupid, but I don't know what to do"} {"id": "t3_3plibq", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting Back to the Future 2 and my Fiance's birthday", "post": "Well, rather than today, I've had a whole month long period of fucking up. \n\nMy fiance's birthday is tomorrow. Tomorrow is also the day that Marty McFly arrives in \"the future\". Since he was a little boy, his dream has been to get a pair of Nike Air Mags for his birthday on 10/21/2015 and watch Back to the Future 2 while wearing them and reveling in his day. He's been telling me about this plan, literally, since we met four years ago. LITERALLY.\n\nIn September, he asked me to get him a pair for his birthday. Any version would do and he even recommended that I save money and just get a pair from a costume site ($99). \n\nI looked them up, bookmarked them and then promptly forgot. Forgot about the shoes, forgot about his birthday mirroring the date that McFly arrives in the future, forgot that this was his only request for his birthday in 2015. \n\nThe month of October, he's psyched himself up. He thinks that I remembered and purchased the shoes. He thinks that I'm not a total jackass who has forgotten her fiance's ONE WISH. He tells his friends about what I'm doing, unbeknownst to me, they high five and congratulate him on how badass this will be. \n\nThat puts us here, today, October fucking 20, 2015. As we leave from work together, on the West Coast, around 5pm, he turns to me as we wait at a light. \"I normally am really good at waiting,\" he says, \"but I can't wait anymore. I have to ask. Did you order them and have them delivered to the office? I haven't seen any packages arrive at home for you this month.\"\n\nIt is at this point that my stomach falls out of my butt and complete horror washes over me. I have forgotten his one request. As I think about it and apologize and scramble to find a way to get him these damn shoes before the end of the day tomorrow, I come to the sad realization that I cannot ever make this up. \n\nThere is one date ever that I could have pulled this event off.", "summary": "I forgot my fiance's one birthday wish to coincide with Back to the Future 2 and now I can never EVER make this happen again."} {"id": "t3_iq4en", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Public trolling. Why?", "post": "I would like to preface this with this rage comic I saw earlier:\n (I didn't make it)\n[I'm referring to the fat woman in the comic, btw. What the guy did in response is justified]\n\nI've never understood why someone would openly mock a complete stranger in public. I have never, EVER felt the urge to do something like that to someone. I've had people do it to me, too. I'll just be riding my bike or something and a car full of teenagers will just drive by mocking me or pulling up close and just going \"BOOO!\" really loudly. Where do people get the stones to do this? Why the fuck would you ever WANT to do something like this? \n\nAnd (most importantly) I ask you, reddit, do you ever do this to other people? And How do you respond when its done to you?\n\nAlso, Is this a strictly American thing? I live in the states and have NEVER seen something like this done in Japan or Europe. People seem to respect strangers more, I guess.\n\nWhen people do it to me I just feel like a dumbass and continue on my way feeling horrible about myself for no other reason that a person considered me lowly enough to be randomly mean to me.\n\n:'(", "summary": "is being an asshole to strangers in public for no reason (see comic) an American thing? Do you do it? Has it ever been done to you? How do you respond to it?"} {"id": "t3_1t2q1m", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm 17/m in a 2 year relationship (17/f). I think I'm too clingy - She says I'm not but acts like I am.", "post": "So 2 years ago my friend (girl) introduced me to a girl - we hit it off, and find each other to be very attractive. We've both had rough pasts, though hers a bit more so than mine.\n\nAnyways, at first we got along so well, we were flirty with each other, and talked as much as we could. We never wanted time apart. \nHowever recently (last few months) we constantly argue.\nThe arguments start because \"I don't know how to leave her alone.\" \nAnd this is true - I don't want to just stop talking to her. I'm a very lonely person without her. \nThese arguments happen fairly often, and have gotten worse. I know she's not uninterested in me, she still wants to be physically with me as much as possible - It's just when we aren't with each other and all we can do is text or be on the phone. \nI being a sensitive guy have brought up the fact to her that I feel like I'm too needy, or too clingy, partly because for some reason I want her to just tell me I am. She never has. \nWhen I do bring this up she says that I'm not. \nWe respect each other, and we love each other - we don't want to lose each other by any means. I can tell that she still wants to be with me. She's never been unfaithful. \nI just want to fix myself. How do I just give her time to herself and not feel so.. depressed and lonely? I've tried so many things like Drawing ( I'm a decent artist) video games, youtube videos, walks, ect. but nothing seems to get the fact that she doesn't want to talk to me out of my mind. Please help. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated.", "summary": "Have Girlfriend, wants space, I am clingy, we argue about it, cant get fact that she doesnt want to talk to me out of my mind, have no life."} {"id": "t3_l6hl3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, is my landlord allowed to evict me? HELP", "post": "So recently, my girlfriend and I bought a dog, our lease does not allow this. Our landlord never had visible proof that the dog belonged to us and stayed in the house. He saw him once and may have heard a bark at some point but nothing concrete.\n\nWe are planning to move out and have arranged a new place that allows for our dog. We have 1 1/2 months left on our current lease and our landlord (while we weren't home) posted a note (not a legal notice) on our door explaining our breach of lease and said we have 3 days to vacate or fix the default. We've looked online and consulted a few other people that have explained that this isn't the \"legal\" process for eviction and in reality we have much longer that 3 days/36 hours. We are planning on moving out in exactly 1 week anyway. \n\nIs our current landlord going about the situation incorrectly and trying to take advantage of our assumed ignorance? Can he really kick us out without a court order? Does the \"eviction notice\" have to be presented by someone other than our land lord?", "summary": "We have a dog, it's not allowed, landlord is evicting us by simply putting a typed letter with his letterhead on our front door. Is that allowed?"} {"id": "t3_2gx0dw", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not bringing in all the bags from the car", "post": "Yep, it happened today.\n \nMy wife wanted the family to load up in the family truckster and drive 30 minutes away to hit some stores. We went to Target, Best Buy(ok, that was for me), Old Navy, etc.\n \nAbout 3/4 of the way through Shoptember, my body was headed to napville. Still being the driver for our festivities, sleeping was out of the question. So, I pressed on.\n \nAfter driving the 30 minutes home, the couch was calling my name, but still sleep was unattainable. I *thought* I brought in all the bags from the car, but at this point you could have told me that I met Abraham Lincoln and I wouldn't have said anything.\n \nAs the wife starts to take inventory on her massive haul, she notices one bag missing. She re-checks the bags, nothing. I re-check the car, nothing. She calls the store of the missing bag, and all they can really do is have us come in.\n \nDuring all of this, a friend of mine came over to use the garage. While I'm out helping him, my wife asks where one particular bag (with Christmas presents in it) is. It just so happened to be in the garage (I put it there) with the missing bag.", "summary": "Took family shopping. Put a bag somewhere else and forgot about it. Wife thought that I forgot it. Blame game and hilarity ensued."} {"id": "t3_x7nu8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "what do I do about me feeling like I hate my friends?", "post": "alright I'm 18 and my friends are anywhere between 3 years younger and 7 years older and my question is that I hang out with my friends to be social, but often I feel like I hate them deep down, why is this?\n\nAlright I'll try to explain this better, I pretty much only hang out with my friends because I hate being by myself. My friends are kind, caring individuals, who show the same interests as me but often before I go to hang out with them I feel this dread that I'm going to be talking to them. I make fun of them and belittle them in my head when I'm alone even though this goes away when I'm with them.\n\nI don't know why I feel this way but it's not the first time I've done this. So I'm not sure what to do now because while I care about my friends, I feel like deep down I hate them", "summary": "Even though I like and care about my friends; who are awesome and considerate people (sometimes), I feel like I hate them deep down, why is this and is there anything I can do to stop it?"} {"id": "t3_143tq8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm an academic introvert, but on two occasions couldn't help but to correct the bullsh*t coming out of a professor's mouth. Reddit, when have you been compelled to take on a teacher due to misinformation and/or unfairly biased viewpoints?", "post": "I guess it's only fair that I go first (these aren't the only times I've argued with a professor, but the ones that immediately come to mind): \n\n1. When I was a sophomore, I was taking a course on US history between WWI and WWII. One day, seemingly out of nowhere, the professor begins talking about how Muslims are more inherently violent than other religious groups. \"They have more blood on their hands than anyone else,\" \"They show a history of violence that is incomparable to all others and whose nature is still apparent today,\" etc. etc. \nDon't get me wrong - I'm not saying every Muslim is a saint or that their history is free of bloodshed. If he was going to target Muslims, then others should get their dues as well. I asked for the sources on his expressed views, what he was basing his conclusion on, and what it had to do with the course at hand. He seemed taken aback as I cited Biblical verses and atrocities committed by other religious groups until the class was over. He refused to make eye contact with me for the rest of the semester. \n\n2. When I was in a psychology course in another school, the nature vs. nurture debate was on the table. My teacher decided to then use \"pit bulls as evidence that nature is stronger than nurture. I mean, their jaws even lock. They're naturally violent. That's why they're not allowed here,\" she said. What ensued was a 15 minute Wimbledon-esque back and forth between her and I. I asked for her sources, medical proof, etc. Nothing more than \"well, I heard...\" or \"once, my neighbor was...\" I countered her on every point - with verifiable facts. My final words were, \"Why don't we stick to human psychology and leave animal physiology to someone who's familiar with it?\"", "summary": "Engaged in lengthy arguments with two professors at two different universities regarding \"inherently violent natures\" of one religious group and one dog breed. I won. Knowledge is power and they lost because of it. "} {"id": "t3_3sgfq5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26M] got fucked and chucked by her [24F] on our second date. Feeling pretty lousy.", "post": "I met her on OkCupid last weekend. We went out for coffee and had a really nice conversation for about two hours. We texted a lot over the next few days and things seemed to be going pretty well.\n \nWe had our second date last night. We went out for dinner and drinks and the conversation was flowing pretty smoothly. I suggested that we move on to another bar. She suggested we go back to her place and drink.\n \nWe ended up making out on her couch and things moved to the bedroom and we had sex. Not long after we were done, she asked me to leave. She had work in the morning and I didn't, so I didn't think much of it because she needed to sleep.\n \nThis afternoon I got the text saying she wasn't interested in pursuing things any further. Did I do something wrong? She seemed to enjoy the sex very much, so I don't think it was that. I feel so used and could use some kind words.", "summary": "Had sex on the second date and then was asked to leave. She doesn't want to pursue things further and I'm feeling pretty lousy. Could use some kind words."} {"id": "t3_2gx86p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (m16) and my gf (f16) are having issues help!", "post": "Iv'e been with my girl friend for almost three months and its been strong for a while but then it started having arguments and me getting depressed and wanting to cut.\n\nShe gets different around me.. in the mornings and when we sleep together on Skype she is fine but right after school she gets an attitude with me\n\nWe start having arguments about little things she just told me that i wouldn't like her messages with her friends because they are all very sexual and dirty and such.. i kinda flipped out saying i'm the boyfriend, you shouldn't be doing that \n\nAnother example, Her and I got together 3 days after her break up with her one year with her ex.. and still today she misses him.. she talks about how much she misses him and wishes she can hear his voice again\n\nI just don't know what to do anymore.. I don't wanna break up with her.. but also im always getting hurt and depressed and cry.\n\nIt all makes me feel uncomfortable.", "summary": "She has been acting different and cold towrds me ever since she started talking to other guys. Not sure what to do about any of it. Its causing me depression and sadness."} {"id": "t3_1m1waq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] am not sure how to go about asking out a friend [23F]", "post": "This girl has been a friend of mine for a few years. Over the last couple of months, I've gotten a lot closer to her and talk to her much more than I used to. Whenever we hang out we always end up talking and always hit it off. \n\nI decided to ask her out but I have been a little weary of doing so. I don't want to ruin our friendship or make things awkward between us. Another issue is that I can never seem to get a moment alone with her. We're always with our group of friends and I don't want to ask her out in front of everyone. I don't find that to be fair to her. I feel like it puts her on the spot.\n\nThe most time I ever get alone with her is whenever someone decides to get up and leave for a moment but its never enough time to get anywhere.\n\nBut a few nights ago, I was talking to one of our friends. He had asked me out of the blue how things were going with myself and this girl. I hadn't told him anything about trying to get with this girl. When I asked him how he knew, he said it was very obvious. He said our body language and the way we were around each other was different than with everyone else. In addition, he said a few other people said the same exact thing. Now it is pretty much an open secret among our friends that there is something between us.\n\nI can't lie, that was great to hear from him and gave me more confidence in asking her out. But like I said earlier, getting alone with her is always an issue. \n\nSo I must ask, would texting her to ask her out be out of line? I personally feel that texting someone to ask them out is kind of low and not something that I would prefer but I just can't seem to get her alone.", "summary": "Known girl for a few years, want to ask her out, been told by friends she has mutual interest, cannot get a moment alone with her."} {"id": "t3_1v1ntc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of 3 months, says im too emotional", "post": "she says im sensitive and she likes that, and that she still loves me, but that i need to work on a few things.\n\nim very emotional and i know that but i think i do ok at giving her space, but then again, maybe not enough.\n\nshe on the other hand is not very emotional at all. she doesnt talk a ton about how she feels and keeps everything to herself mostly.\n\nwhen we talk, sometimes ill go off on a rant about how i dont like what shes doing and how she doesnt talk to me and that i miss her ..and i can tell, im starting to overreact at that point.\n\ni need advice on how to be less clingy and be ok with space, if anyone could talk to me about this thatd be great.\n\ni also have a big problem with anxiety because of when i was younger so maybe im letting that come out again which is bad. anyway, help is appreaciated.", "summary": "my gf says im too emotional. shes not very emotional at all, while i am. im working on giving her space but i need more advice.. from more experienced people too."} {"id": "t3_2ifwlh", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "[DRESS] Feeling inappropriate with my dress choice", "post": "I'm sorry, this is going to be part rant and part asking for advice. I'm at a loss at what to do. \n\nSo last friday I went dress shopping with my aunt and sister and I found the dress. I felt good in it, pretty, like a bride. An wohoo, it was under budget! My aunt was almost in tears, I paid a deposit since I'm still waiting for the Vera Wang dresses but just to be sure. We were all excited and went home. \n\nSo come Saturday I have lunch with my FH's family and I tell his cousin and aunt that I've already picked a dress and the aunt tells me \"Oh, great! Who's designing it?!\". Now, I forgot that my FH's family plays on another level ($$$$) and I want to pay for the dress on my own but now I'm feeling like it's not going to be...enough. Here's some pictures [of me trying on the dress] and the dress [on a mannequin] where you can see the lace cap sleeves. \n\nUgh weddit, sorry for the wall of text.", "summary": "I'm a moron who can't decide if she loves a dress or needs to go above and beyond and spend thousands of dollars."} {"id": "t3_2npsoj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "A guy I just met (27) asked me (25F) to go to this hippy dance party next Friday. I like him and want to go but I am a bad dancer.", "post": "I met this really adorable guy at a friend's place a couple weeks ago. We have a few common interests so we exchanged info and added each other to facebook. I gave him my number and we texted briefly before he asked me to go to this hippy dance party next weekend. \n\nThe thing is, I'm new to the city I live in, and I have no one to take with me, so I would be showing up alone, which is awkward and makes me feel nervous. Also, I'm a bad dancer to begin with, but they are playing music that is really hard to dance to, like an eclectic mix of psychedelic trance meets weird drums and Indigenous music...\n\nI'm definitely not a hippy, and it really isn't my scene (nor is it his, he just has friends who fit in there and like to go). I am sure he asked me to go to get to know me a little better, so it's not necessarily a date, but I'm still nervous, feel weird about showing up alone and about having to dance to music that is hard to dance to. He is attractive and I like him so far, so regardless of whether it is a date, I am still freaking out a bit. I am thinking of having a few drinks before to make it easier, but I'm still not sure that will help a lot. \n\nAny recommendations for making things less awkward?", "summary": "Guy asked me to this dance party with weird music and I suck at dancing. I have no friends to bring so I have to show up by myself and feel nervous about the whole thing even though I really do want to go."} {"id": "t3_tq2uz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "The most deeply engrained form of social predjudice.", "post": "An unspoken goal of humankind is to stray away from what is considered to be \"primitive behavior\" and yet, ironically, this behavior is witnessed on a daily basis. In a world humans widely regard as progressive and merit-based (the humans have largely eradicated some forms of instinctual prejudice racism, sexism, etc), 'attractivism', or subconscious and conscious favoring or rejecting of a being as a result of a judgment of their relatively unchanging appearance, is one of the most deeply rooted forms of social discrimination and will never (or face great difficulty) be weeded out of the system in which the humans persist. \n\nWithin the first millisecond of seeing another human being, a human consciously determines how attractive and aesthetically pleasing to the eye they appear. Among competing humans, generally those of the same sex containing the same reproductive organs, the humans will immediately compare their attractiveness as a form of competition. An individual's relative attractiveness largely defines how they are treated and perceived in the society they persist in. Generally speaking, individuals with a lesser relative attractiveness will find it more challenging to find success, reproductively and self-actually, in this system, as a result of deeply engrained instinctual drives. By the same reasoning, more attractive individuals will be given subconscious and conscious favor, and find it easier to find reproductive and self-actual success.\n\n Throughout history, different groups of humans have been fighting for causes, most widely generalized as an argument that an \"uncontrollable, unchangeable, 'born-with' trait should not define the overall success of an individual in his or her pursuit of happiness\", as is witnessed in a variety of active and passive social movements (women's suffrage, civil rights, gay rights, etc.) It appears as though there is always an oppressed group of people demanding equal treatment (as though all other humans are treated equally to begin with, and this group is excluded from such treatment). Social discrimination based on attractiveness does in fact fall under this category. Who is to say the 3's, 4's and 5's of this system will not recognize their obvious disadvantage and demand some sort of change? Will the future hold \"affirmative action\" programs for the unattractive?", "summary": "Attractiveness is the most deeply engrained form of social discimination as it stems from a rooted instinctual drive. Unattractive people are at an obvious disadvantage."} {"id": "t3_17bz5o", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Call of douchy revenge", "post": "A little introduction: I have a friend who is generally pleasant to be with, but when it comes to Call of Duty, you better pray that god save you from his wrath. Whether he exists or not. I'm that serious. He is insanely pro as well, so you have to put up with dying every 4.6 seconds, and having to wait for him to win with the perfect trick shot, which we should all be ashamed for not being able to do. One might wonder why I play Call of Duty with him in the first place. Well, he does this thing where he sneakily invites himself over to my house, and then insists that we play Call of Duty. So hopefully you can imagine the layers upon layers of obnoxiousness that I have to put up with.\n\nSo one day we were playing splitscreen one on one, and he was doing his usual routine of ever so eloquently discussing my sexual orientation. My revenge plan was born out of how arrogant and demanding he was about how to play the goddamn game that he (surprisingly) didn't even own a copy of. \n\nThroughout the game, he constantly threw fits over cheap weapons, and how you're \"not actually supposed to use the pp2000\", and constantly boasted about every trickshot he made on me. So I waited for the right moment to carry out my plan. When it came, it was with him telling me to \"watch the killcam \"... I could tell by the look on his face that this was the greatest, most awesome trickshot he has ever done. So I watched it.\n\n 5...4...3...2...then, just as the clip started going in slow motion, which signaled that he was about to carry out his amazing trick shot, I hit the X button, and respawned. He flipped the fuck out. But I didn't care. He could insult me all he wanted, but I wasn't going to give this obnoxious, self-inviting jerk the satisfaction of watching himself kill me in the most epic way he has ever done it.", "summary": "Call of duty crazed asshole does the greatest trickshot in call of duty history, and I end the killcam before he can watch it."} {"id": "t3_wrdio", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What should I do about my husband's friends/family?", "post": "Explanation: I've been pregnant twice; once with our son, once I was a surrogate for my best friend. I asked my husband both times if he was ok with it, neither of them were a surprise; pregnancy affects me badly, I get nauseous the entire 9 months, and so tired that I have a hard time moving. \n\nBoth times my husband has subsequently had a breakdown, mostly involving the fact that I can't complete household tasks in a timely manner while I'm pregnant. He's threatened to leave me both times, the second time he was actually chatting up his high school sweetheart too, and coming home late from work all the time. At the same time, he was telling his friends and family that I was the one having problems, that I threatened his and our son's life, that I was depressed, that I was always putting him down. I would never threaten either of them, and I was in actuality trying to encourage him and praise him, because I knew he had to take on more tasks and had a lot to do since I wasn't able to.\n\nSince then, not pregnant anymore, husband has since gotten his sanity back, and decided to stay. But now his family and friends still treat me like I was the one that was nuts, when he was on his way to cheating and outright lied about me. He says he's talked to them, but I know for a fact he hasn't told them about talking to his ex, and they still treat me like I was the one who had a breakdown.\n\nHusband and I are trying to make it work, but it's really hard dealing with his friends and family when they treat me like this. I won't tell them about the ex, as husband has asked me not to, and I'm pretty sure it would only seem as a retribution tactic anyway. So what do I do, Reddit?\n\nToss in the fact that now it scares me to consider having a second child with him because I'm afraid he'll go nuts again, it's quite a convoluted situation.\n\nThanks for listening, and for any advice.", "summary": "Husband went nuts and told his friends/family lies about me. We're staying together, so how can I get them to stop treating me like I'm the insane one?"} {"id": "t3_384sze", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [31F] problems with my SO's [26M] past relationships", "post": "Hi r/relationships. This is a throwaway because my SO knows my account. I've [31F] been with my SO [26M] for just under 2.5 years now and I'm starting to feel really upset about our relationship. My SO is the sweetest guy in the world. He's handsome, smart, passionate, and caring. One part of our relationship bothers me though. \n\nThroughout our relationship, we have kept things fairly low key in terms of expenses. We go out on a date maybe once per week to just any restaurant, which I appreciate. On special days, like birthdays, Christmas, and Valentine's Day, we exchange thoughtful gifts. Now all of this sounds perfectly fine to me; however, I found out through mutual friends how his previous relationships were. He would take his girlfriends out to expensive restaurants and shower them with lavish gifts, not just on special days. Now I am absolutely not a gold digger, but this does feel off-putting, knowing what he did for his exes while putting in the bare minimum for me.\n\nWe have talked about this since I found out, and his explanation does make sense. Back then, he first started making serious money and was not shy to use it and did not think much about saving for the future. In his mind, he had the money, so why not use it to make his girlfriends at the time happy? This makes sense to me, but it still does hurt. I know it isn't rational, but I don't know if I can get over it. How can I deal with this?", "summary": "My [31F] SO [26M] used to spend lavishly on his exes but is very conservative in his spending on me. Not sure how to feel."} {"id": "t3_12ztji", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "For the less social part of Reddit: What is something someone has done to make you feel \"part of the group\" and make your day?", "post": "I, personally, am not the most social person in the world. I have one or two close friends but that is it and I don't often hang out with them regardless. I am by no means socially awkward and people generally like me due to my wit and compassion. However the simple fact is sometimes I just can't stand people so I don't often get to know them outside of school; they become \"school friends\".\n\nToday I was supposed to see Skyfall with my family, but due to an after school program I had to miss it. One of my \"school friends\" who overheard and told me to come with him and a bunch of other \"school friends\" to see it later tonight. On top of that he drove me home, left, and came back to pick me up so I could get to the theater because my parents weren't going to be home in time from the theater to pick me up from the after school activity or to drop me off for the movie.\n\nReally long story short, I had an amazing time with a bunch of people I now consider actual friends. I usually don't go out with friends and just to see A FANTASTIC movie with fantastic people was great and it's all thanks to this guy who invited me. It absolutely made my day.", "summary": "I don't usually hang with people, somebody invited me to a movie with tons of people, I had a fantastic time."} {"id": "t3_15zgan", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I [26M] am going on a third date [31F] and don't know when to make a 'move'", "post": "Just a little background. I started chatting with a girl from work a little before Christmas, we ended up going out for lunch on the day itself (neither of us celebrate). Went very well and following weekend I went to her place to watch the game and then dinner out. Again, very well. She's coming to my place tomorrow for dinner, then either heading out or staying in. \n\nThe problem is my inability to sense the right time to initiate physical contact or to act on what I think is the right time. After the second date I dropped her off at her place, we said goodbye, and I'm 99.9% sure she was looking for me to make a move before she got out, but I just completely froze up.\n\nThere's definitely chemistry, I'm not getting any mixed signals so there's definite interest from her, and I'm not anticipating any type of rejection.\n\nI haven't been out 'dating' in a number of years. All my relationships in those years have resulted from hooking up with girls, and obviously they didn't last. Since those relationships were built on sex, this type of problem never came up. I'm hoping that going about this the traditional way will change the dynamic of the relationship and make it last longer.", "summary": "Been out of the 'dating' scene for a while and can't sense the right time to initiate physical contact (I.E. kissing) on a third date. Advice?"} {"id": "t3_3b1du9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27F] with my dramatic but lovable coworker [50F] of 18 months, I have accepted a new position within our company. How to soften the blow?", "post": "I am a nurse for a statewide healthcare organization and I have shared an office with a woman, \"Leslie,\" for 18 months now. Leslie has worked for the company for 16 years and has been deemed \"difficult to work with\" by every close coworker she's ever had. She is small, loud-mouthed, catty, and frequently borders on unprofessional. For some reason, I've never had a problem with her! I'm quiet and don't divulge much of my personal life at work, but we talk and laugh a lot. I ignore the word garbage she spews and everybody carries on.\n\nSo, here's the issue: We work in a department of 5 people at a more remote clinic. One of our providers is retiring and I was told by a boss that my current position may or may not be in jeopardy in the future. She offered me a job in a larger department on the main campus. Now, my natural paranoia tells me that she could be lying and trying to get me to switch departments for her own reasons. Either way, this is really a much better job and I should take the easy out without question. So I am. I've accepted the new position.\n\nLeslie is going to be pissed. She has never been mad at me before, but she is going to complain to everybody who will listen and she will theorize and gossip until she's blue in the face. I feel that she is unreasonable and disgruntled and will not accept the news with grace or respect for me. She gossips with the people in the department I will be moving to. They'll know everything about me before I get there. I can't tell her the real reason that I'm taking the job, either. She will be mad that upper management isn't going to get a new doctor, etc, etc. So I'm asking for a nice white lie or an easy way to tell her to soften the blow and not give her any fuel to lose her cool about it.", "summary": "Moving to a new position within the company I work for and trying to avoid a shit storm of drama from my older, loud, unreasonable coworker who is going to call me a traitor."} {"id": "t3_2vy2wv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my dad [57 M] Dad is verbally abusive", "post": "Hey guys,\nso me and my dad do not have the best relationship.\n\n I kind of just do my own thing, school and friends, and he does his work. I like it this way, but occasionally my dad becomes really verbally abusive and yells and insults my mom and I.\n\n I have no idea why, but randomly he gets into a bad mood and yells. \n\nWhen I was smaller he used to hit me when he got mad or throw things, but now I'm his size. He also used to hit my mom, but that was around 5 years ago. \n\nThese past two years my dad has been a little bit better, going off on my mom or me once a month, but that isn't the problem.\n\n I can handle his rants because I've heard them over and over, but sometimes I get scared.\n\n I get scared that my dad will kill me while I'm sleeping or something.\n\nHe has hit me before, and I have seen him act completely irrational when angry. If he fought me then I would probably win because I weigh more, and is his height, but I am worried that he might kill me when I'm sleeping.\n\nI feel like it's stupid of me to have this feeling. He is my dad and has raised me and my older brother. \n\nBut you hear this crazy stuff on the news almost everyday. Family shootings, stuff like that. What makes my family so different than them?\n\nWhat should I do though? \n\nI can't tell anyone because they will think my dad is insane and call the cops. I can't do anything because he is my dad after all, and he loves me but is crazy. I also need him because he provides for the family, takes me to school, does all the stereotypical dad jobs.", "summary": "My dad is cray cray and I dont know what I should do if there is anything that I can do."} {"id": "t3_2yfq5l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "GF of 1 year [19/F] video chatting and texting random guy. I [21/M] think this could end badly. How do I approach this?", "post": "Here's our story: I'm a college student who also works full-time, so I'm often gone most of the day on weekdays and some weekends. She stays home taking online classes and does a little freelance work online as well, but doesn't have a lot of ambition and is a little shy. (For the record, her parents still send money to support her.)\n\nRecently she picked up League of Legends and met people through that. I was happy since she could definitely use a few new friends to keep her company in her down time, but one guy has me worried.\n\nShe started texted him and spends most of her free time chatting with him and playing games when I'm not home. It wouldn't bother me normally, but when she told me they were video chatting and it changed everything. (At least she wasn't hiding it.)\n\nVideo chatting between friends isn't an issue, but let's be honest. Guys and girls don't just video chat because they want to talk about League of Legends. This guy clearly is looking for more, despite claiming he also has a girlfriend.\n\nI've snooped because I want to know what's going on, and noticed he's starting to make flirtatious comments about her looks and joking about meeting up. (He's not local.) They're also talking about really personal things, and just generally seem to be getting \"too close\" for friends. \n\nShe hasn't said anything that would make me think she's flirting back, but it still worries me. I've read a lot of stories on here and would prefer not to end up letting this go too far.\n\nAny advice would be much appreciated.", "summary": "Girlfriend seems to be headed toward a flirtatious relationship with some guy online. How do I best approach it?"} {"id": "t3_3gjyf9", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Should i even go there?", "post": "The First post \n\nThe boy/man i like age 21 male , is someone who is a volunteer at my local establishment im age 23 female He is really funny, we get along like a house on fire pretty much from the get go. Ive always thought of him to be attractive but never anythig more - I thought he was gay. We've always had a bit of a flirty banter and we've spent a lot of time together (only at the establishment he volunteers and i visit as a \"young person\") \nAnyway. I recently found out he is only \"questioning\" his sexuality and has a sexual intrest in me. (He called me beautiful- d'aww.) \nThe only way we'd be able to have a relationship is if i was to become a volunteer (something i WAS going to do anyway - but this is pushing me), but i have that nigle in my head of his questioning sexuality. What would i do/how would i feel if he wanted to be with a bloke?(man) but we were together?\nShould i even go there?\nWhat if we get along really well as friends, but a relationship wouldnt work?\nIve also told him A LOT about my past.. (Which i thought i was comfortable doing because i thought he wasnt actually interested in me) which i may have not told him/held back a while if i had known\n(Though he called me beautiful after all this..) \nHELP!!! What do i do - do i try it? \"Life is too short for regrets\" or just.. Remain good ones? (Friends)", "summary": "guy who likes me might be gay but wants to persue a relation with me as long as I volunteer at the place I visit. Ive also told him too much about my life."} {"id": "t3_gpxx0", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "Filming my travels without taking a whole host of electronics", "post": "Hey,\n\nThis summer I'm taking part in the Mongol Rally, and last weekend there was an organised film festival event. Now I'm not planning on entering the event next year, but I would like to put a video together for memories sake etc.\n\nHas anyone done any filming whilst travelling in remote areas? I'm not wanting to take a load of stuff like a laptop, multiple chargers, different cables and all that on the trip itself, so if anyone knows of any compact video camera's (nothing big and fancy necessary), that are of a reasonable price (I won't say cheap because if it's worth it I'll pay out a bit more anyway)?\n\nIdeally we'd plan to connect to computers in cities to create space on internal memory/memory cards, but that may not be possible in some areas (Kazak steppes for example), so being able to take some additional storage would be useful. I do have a 3TB external harddrive that I could upload onto, but the video-camera would need to be able to link into the directly without my laptop etc.", "summary": "I need a video-camera/camcorder at a reasonable price, not too flashy and with substantial memory/expandable memory."} {"id": "t3_2osbf4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Not sure if correct sub, but any advice would be greatly appreciated", "post": "I, m(26), work once a week at a restaurant/bar. There is a bartender, f(24), there who I work with/see once every few weeks. I always was interested in her but didn't spend enough time around her to try and get her number etc. \nI friended her on facebook about a month ago and she never accepted. I understand people forget to accept, I am guilty of this myself from time to time. \nLast week she was bartending while I was serving and she was being pretty flirtatious and giving me the eyes (I used to be completely oblivious to this stuff, but I think I am more aware now). \n\nI may not see her again for a few weeks or maybe more. I want to ask her to hang out sometime but have no idea how to go about it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated", "summary": "don't know how to go about asking this co worker out. I do not have her number/facebook and rarely see her"} {"id": "t3_2fhov1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] with my friend [23F] who was there for me through a difficult breakup with a crappy ex, is now dating said ex, wants to \"talk\" about it. How to decline without sounding bitter?", "post": "Without going into too much detail, my ex and I dated about a year ago and it ended poorly. A lot of things occurred after the fact and he really hurt me. I confided in this friend, who was a great support system and was aware of all the crappy stuff he did to me.\n\n I've sinced moved away and will be visiting family in my hometown this week. My \"friend\" messaged me out of the blue, not hearing from her in months that she wanted to get together for dinner and tell me something. I asked if everything was alright, and she said it was positive news and a \"very good thing!\", so I said yes, we could get together. On a gut feeling, I asked if she had met someone, and she basically told me that she's dating my ex and it's great and she wants to talk to me about it.\n\nAt this point, the wounds from the relationship are stil healing (ex and I went NC in May, finally!) I've decided it would be best for my heart to end this friendship and move on in life. How can I politely decline getting together? I don't want to sound upset, I just know what I need to do to protect myself and I want to communicate it politely before I de-friend her on Facebook.", "summary": "Friend who helped me through rough breakup wants to get together to discuss how she's now dating my ex. How do I decline politely without sounding bitter?"} {"id": "t3_42jxma", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] interested in [19F] for about a year(we work at the same place), and I don't even know if she likes girls", "post": "I don't even know how to write this...\n\nBasically her and I work at the same place, and I have a job that requires me to walk past her caf\u00e9. I find myself going out of my way to even just catch a 5 second glimpse of her-like, really out of my way. It makes my day even if I just see her for 5 seconds, and on the days we do get to talk it leaves me re-living the conversation multiple times in my head. \n\nShe always manages to catch my gaze when I look over at the caf\u00e9, and a lot of the times I find her already looking at me when I walk past. The feeling of excitement and nervousness I get whenever I am near her makes me go crazy! We have had a few conversations on Facebook and I feel like I can talk to her for hours. \n\nNot really sure how to even approach this situation. I don't want to freak her out by saying I like her, and then ruin a potential friendship. But then I feel like I am going crazy keeping these feelings inside.", "summary": "I like this girl who works in the same place as I do, had a few conversations, not sure if I should tell her I like her or keep it to myself."} {"id": "t3_4m30s0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my best friend [20F], I invited her to my graduation and she said she'd be there", "post": "So I am graduating university, finally! I had some issues that prevented me from going to university after high school. I'm so excited to finally be done. I don't have many close friends, but the one friend I do have is very close to me. She's been there for me throughout the last two years of my university experience. We have always supported each other. My family is a little dysfunctional and my siblings weren't able to make it to my graduation. I invited my best friend and she said she wouldn't miss it for the world and she's so excited to see me walk across the stage.\n\nThe other day I was on facebook and I saw that this friend was interested in an event in her hometown on the same day as my graduation. I thought maybe she was just \"interested\" in it to see who was going or whatever. But then she tells me that she can't make it to my grad because there's a mandatory meeting in her hometown (4 hour drive away) that she has to be at on the day AFTER my grad so she's going to drive up before that day...\n\nThe problem is that my graduation is in the afternoon the day before her meeting, and she would have ample time to drive home after it. I feel like she is really letting me down because I really only had her to invite and she said she would make it. Now I think that she wants to go home for the event I saw that she was interested in on Facebook that occurs on the same day as my graduation. \n\nDo I have a right to be upset? Do I tell her how disappointed I am? How do I prevent resentment from forming towards her?", "summary": "Friend promised to be there for my graduation and then backed out last minute. Do I have a right to be upset?"} {"id": "t3_jkp92", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "I received a goldfish that I do not want, what should I do with it?", "post": "So this morning I woke up, and there was a note that said \"There is a birthday present outside, here is a bucket for it.\" So I went outside and found that there was a goldfish in a bag filled with water. So I put the bag in the water to get the two waters the same temperature. I then asked my friend who gave it to me the story about it, and long story short, they won a fish at the county fair and gave it to me for my birthday. But since I don't want it, I don't know what to do with it. Any help?", "summary": "Friends gave me a fish from the county fair for my birthday, and I don't want it. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_43svl7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [20F] Overprotective, not Comfortable with my Little Brother [14M] Dating", "post": "I'm a 20 year old girl, I have a 14 year old brother who's in his very first relationship. He's been dating this girl for 3 months, I'm quite protective of him, and he's my only male sibling so this situation of having a brother dating, is totally new to me. I have a 15 year old sister who's had a couple boyfriends, but I never felt nearly as worried about that. Is that normal? I don't mean to me sexist but I think might be just because of the opposite sex thing, I'm far more protective of him than my sister, like it sounds stupid but I just have that \"I know how girls are\" feeling, so I'm leery about his girlfriends. And I have fears of being replaced, I've always been the one he goes to for advice, to vent to, and everything. But now he has a girlfriend to confide in and I'm worried he'll want more independence from me and he won't really need me anymore.\n\nShe hasn't done anything particularly bad and there aren't really any red flags but I find myself losing sleep over it. I admittedly snoop a bit through his phone and computer to read their conversations, I feel guilty about doing so but it just puts my mind at ease knowing there's nothing bad going on. Is it okay to be this protective of him? Is how I'm feeling normal and does this sorta thing just subside with time? Is it wrong to snoop if I'm doing it with good intentions of just wanting to make sure he doesn't get hurt?", "summary": "My little brother has a girlfriend, she's his first and I'm quite protective of him. I worry about him so much and I read through some of their conversations to make sure there are no red flags. Is this normal?"} {"id": "t3_359lid", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (21F) boyfriend (22M) in the marines just admitted to me that he wants to die in combat.", "post": "I don't even know what to say to that. All he has talked about is us moving in together when he gets back and us being happy and everything...yet he just admitted that he actually *wants* to die while he's fighting. \n\nSo, now all I can think about is that while I'm at home worrying about him, he's going to be out there running head first in to whatever comes at him so that he can die the way he wants to die? \n\nOr am I just over thinking this? I don't know what to think right now or how to feel.", "summary": "boyfriend leaves to fight over seas soon and he admitted to me that he actually wants to die in combat. Says he's always dreamt about dying like that."} {"id": "t3_1m7vxg", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Ex-Girlfriend", "post": "So me and my ex broke up about 5 months ago, didn't talk for a while, met other people, did our own things. Then begun talking once again a couple month or so after the breakup. Made it clear we weren't getting back together... (I want to, she doesn't). Finally get pissed off, and say this is stupid, we both want different things, No matter how this pans out i don't get what i want, and you do. She half agrees, but begs for me to stay in her life. I being the dumbass that i am accept, and say on one condition, that i still have a shot at getting the relationship back. She agrees, and promises that she actually means it. Couple weeks go by, we hang out alone, decide to go on an adventure at night, end up in the woods, find rope swing by river, things get heated. blah blah. We agree that no one finds out about it, and that it doesn't change anything. Thing is... i want it to change something. I want her back, but i can't have it. The only way out is to completely cut her out of my life, and i don't want that cause she honestly is my best friend. I'm not one to go out looking for help... but this time i really need it...", "summary": "My ex is still in my life, i need her out, but can't do it without putting myself through a whole new kind of hell."} {"id": "t3_30wb61", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Where do I go from here? [29/M leaving [28/F] After she got drunk and slept with a coworker. [x-post /r/relationships]", "post": "I don't want to write a book, and I don't want you all to have to read one. The bottom line is I just got out of a relationship that lasted over a decade. It was a high school sweetheart situation that I thought was going great until she got drunk and fucked a coworker. That is the one thing I just don't think I can ever forgive even though it was only once and it meant nothing, she cut contact with him, etc. So now I'm in my late twenties, single, having never dated other women. I'm stable on my own (financially, etc.) am in decent shape but...\n\nI just don't even know what to do with my time, or where to go. I've just been blowing money to keep my mind off of things. I've never been cut this deep before, and I don't want to be with her because she's not who I thought she was, and I can't trust her again, but I find myself incapable of thinking I could find someone else. Help.", "summary": "Cheated on after decades of dedication, starting from scratch. How do I find someone? How do I trust? The dating scene (according to most) is a nightmare-scape, I never wanted to be here."} {"id": "t3_1shyfw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [25F] overreacting to my boyfriend [32M] (of one year)'s joke?", "post": "My boyfriend (32 M) and I (25 F) have been together for nearly a year. We get along well and don't really fight, even though we've had occasional miscommunications. He plays his emotions close to the chest, which can be hard for me because I love to hear nice things from time-to-time and he just doesn't really say them much.\n\nThe other night, as we were climbing into bed, he made a \"joke.\" As he snuggled in next to me he said, *\"So, when are you gonna be more attractive?\"*\n\nI asked him to repeat what he'd said, to give him a chance to retract and just to make sure I'd heard him correctly before I got upset over it. He said it again. When I got upset about this, **he** got mad at **me** for \"not trusting him\" and that it was \"a joke.\" I asked him in what world would that joke be considered funny by anyone?\n\nHe has since apologized, but he chalks his responsibility for the incident up as his failure to recognize that I was feeling insecure.\n\nHonestly, I'm a pretty insecure person. I grew up with an emotionally and physically abusive father. I've struggled with body image issues my whole life because of the things my father used to say to me (encouraging me to be bulimic, etc.). All of this my boyfriend knows. \n\nWhen I told my mom what my boyfriend had said, she looked at me in horror and told me, \"That sounds exactly like your father!\" Which was something I had thought at the time he said it, but I did not say to him.\n\nBut just because I'm insecure, doesn't mean he's not at fault for making a joke with no other possible outcome than to hurt my feelings. \n\nAm I crazy for feeling this way? Am I overreacting? Because ever since it happened a few days ago, I can't take a shower without hearing his words echoing in my head over and over on a loop. Any tips on getting over it and moving on?", "summary": "My boyfriend \"jokingly\" asks \"When are you gonna be more attractive?\" before bed. I can't get over it. Help!"} {"id": "t3_12o1az", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I F(22) am dating M(21) for about 3 continuous years, five years overall, and wondering when it's appropriate to discuss the future?", "post": "We dated in for two continuous high school and broke up for my freshman year of college. The fall after that, we got back together and have been happily together ever since. We discuss things well, are very compatible, and we seem to want similar things out of our future lives. \n\nHowever, neither of us have very settled future plans, which is mainly why I haven't brought up what will happen after I graduate in May. He's a year behind me in college. I'm applying to jobs in varied, varied places, some local, some not (my field does not justify the cost of graduate school at this time). He will go to graduate school when he graduates, and is unsure of exactly where. I also realize we're both very young. \n\nHowever, we've both matured greatly over the course of our relationship. He has qualities that I really want in my partner, and I work to make sure that I have the same. I don't want to get married right now, but I absolutely want to marry him when I do. \n\nWhile we discuss every problem that has come up, we've never discussed the future before, except in a \"Do you want to go to this concert in six months?\" way. I'm afraid that a discussion will reveal that while he's invested in the relationship at the moment, he has never considered anything beyond that. \nDoes it seem appropriate to bring up, in a very non-pressured way, to at least see where it's going? With our ages, is it even reasonable to explore ways to stay in the area for a year or so, and see where he goes to graduate school, if there are jobs for me there?", "summary": "In a serious relationship, both young and unsure of future plans, should I bring up the possibility of the future or is it assumed that this is a serious relationship that has a necessary expiration?"} {"id": "t3_11902g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "my gf (25, i am 25 too) of 2 years is a butterface. is that a good reason to break up with her?", "post": "i met my gf through a friend. she is the true definition of a butterface. she has an amazing, smokin hot body you thought you'd only see in victorias secret windows. but her face is truly hideous, it was disfigured in a childhood accident.\n\nwhen i first met her i decided i could still be friends with her. i learned she was nice, smart, kind, a very cool girl. a beautiful soul you might say. she seemed interested in me and i decided to go for it because i wasn't getting any other offers. i am a fat unattractive slob gamer so i don't bring in many girls.\n\nshe has been the perfect girlfriend. she is extremely attentive in every way and will do almost anything i want. but her ugly face has bothered me from day one. it's like she's almost the entire package but i can't do without the pretty face.\n\ni lurk in /r/prettygirls almost every day just to look at all the beautiful girls in the world. it makes me sad to think that i could have one of them but am stuck with a butterface instead. lately every time i look at my gf i imagine her face is one of the girls i saw on /r/prettygirls.\ni would feel like a jerk breaking up with her for this but i don't know if i can stand to look at her anymore.", "summary": "my gf is a butterface and i want a girl with a pretty face. but she's perfect otherwise. should i break up with her?"} {"id": "t3_hhmin", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Girlfriend was approached and kissed by another Guy.", "post": "I need some guidance here fellow Redditors. \n\nI had my girlfriend call me up at 4am Sunday morning in tears telling me a guy had kissed her. After a few raged moments it came down to the fact that the Guy had been very forward on her and had harassed her during the night. It ended up with him grabbing her and going in for the kiss. Contact was obviously made yet i trust and believe my GF and her friends reports that she did not kiss back.\n\nI've consoled with my GF during the next day and i feel that things will stay on track. I dont know what to feel though. Im taking my GFs word for it all, if i didnt then i think the advice id be asking for would be about a break up.\n\nI feel angry at her not being able to defend herself against him prior to this act and that she allowed him to breach her personal space. But im just more annoyed at this jerk who had the cheek to do such things. She was more upset about it than angry which also set me back.... i would think she would be angry as being upset would show guilt. Or am i over analyzing this a little too much?\n\nHas any one experienced this before? Is this mishap a petty event in the 'hierarchy' of relationship issues? If i can realise that im just being an over emotional 24 year old then id feel a lot better.\n\n( Come a few days i might feel totally open and different about this SMALL mishap so see this post also my way of venting and getting things off the chest )\n\nThank you for any reply.", "summary": "? - Girl friend didn't kiss back, trust her word. I feel a bit lost. Am i over analysing the situation?"} {"id": "t3_4ndfh3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 F] with my new bf [30 M]... everyone I know is acting like a massive jerk because he didn't go to college and doesn't have a fancy job, but he's actually more financially successful then many of those the people hating on him!!", "post": "I am having an issue with almost everyone in my life (close friends, coworkers, acquaintances, all of my family minus my sister who's a bit more understanding) about my new bf Ted. Ted is so awesome. He treats me like gold and makes so happy. Ted is not the problem here.\n\nApparently, Ted's background is. He never went to college, then started working in a city public works office (not a glamorous job) as a clerk, and has risen to be a supervisor. He makes $115k a year for crying out loud, and has a rent controlled 1bd apartment in the crazy expensive city we live in. Everyone I introduce him to raises an eyebrow at him when they hear what he does, or expresses concern that he's using me. There are a lot of high paid professionals in my city, and most of my coworkers are too. My family all have grad degrees in STEM.\n\nThe thing is, without being rude and disclosing his salary (which he never does himself), they think he's a scrub and leeching off me because of his job! I've said he manages a department and picks up the tab for dates quite often, and it's like it just doesn't register that he's doing fine. And, most infuriatingly, some of the people who look down on him the most for not being an educated professional actually make less than he does and live with a bunch of roommates!! My brother makes all kinds of passive aggressive weird comments about what Ted's tastes and interests should be like... Ted makes 20k more than him!\n\nHow do I talk to the people I care about and really convince them that I'm not being taken advantage of and am in fact dating someone very successful, who took their own path in life which is different but not intrinsically worse? I feel like I'm talking to crazy people who refuse to see that just because he isn't in an industry that requires advanced technical degrees and pays out low salaries to most workers.", "summary": "Everyone I know can eat a bag of dicks. I like my bf and want them to stop picking at me for dating a loser when he is clearly not."} {"id": "t3_11mrv7", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "A possible new perspective for those who set goals then lose motivation quickly", "post": "Hi guys,\n\nRecently, I've realized that I was someone who would often set goals or take up new hobbies but would lose motivation and give up because I never saw the results I wanted as quickly as I wanted. \n\nI'm trying a new way of looking at things where, rather than having goals that are outcome/results based, I can have goals that are action/habit based.\n\nFor example, rather than going 'I want to lose 5 kg', I might say 'I want to be the kind of person that goes to the gym 1 hour a day, 4 times a week'. This way, my criteria for success is something more instantaneous in terms of being in my control (going to the gym) rather than an outcome that is going to take more time. So each time I go to the gym, I can actually say I've been successful because each day I do it is a day I've been the person I said I wanted to be. I find this scenario better than checking the scales everyday and getting disappointed because weight loss hasn't happened.\n\nMy theory is that getting this 'success' feedback on a more regular basis is more motivating than hoping to see results in 2 months. Regardless of how you set the goals, it will still require the same actions. However, how you frame the goals might affect your feelings towards them and might mean the difference between sticking with it or not.\n\nI should point out that this is only something that's occurred to me recently that I'm trying out (and so far so good). Also, rather than saying this is a solution for everyone, I think that, if it works, it could be more beneficial those like me who would lose motivation we aren't seeing results as quickly as we want.\n\nAnyway, just wanted to share, in case this approach can help someone here. However, I'd love to hear any thoughts you have on the matter, especially if you have thoughts on how this approach could be improved :D", "summary": "rather than creating goals focusing solely on specific outcomes (lose weight) maybe you can try creating goals based around developing and maintains the habits you would need (gym 5 times a week) to reach the outcome you want"} {"id": "t3_1iz6om", "subreddit": "self", "title": "My landlord won't fix my faulty taps (and also wants to increase rent). What can I do? [UK]", "post": "My finac\u00e9 and I moved into a small flat (apartment) about 1.5 years ago. And ever since we moved in we have had problems with the taps on the bath.\n\nThe cold tap is almost useless, just dribbles warm water when it's turned all the way up. And the hot tap has recently completely broke, turning it does absolutely nothing. So now we cannot shower or even have a bath, we have to just wash as best we can using the sink, which is making us miserable.\n\nHe has had the taps replaced before (approx 8 months ago), which fixed the problem but only temporarily. The problem returned after less than 2 weeks.\n\nI contacted him on Monday (2 days ago) and he said he would have someone round on Wednesday (today) and of course no one has showed up. Now, I have known this man for a long time and I know his little games. He always says things will get sorted, but I never hear back off him. Every fucking time.\n\nSo what can I do? There is no stopcock in our flat so we cannot even do it ourselves. The stopcock is downstairs (in his shop). Please help us out.\n\nAnd on top of all this, he recently contacted us and said that he wants to increase rent by \u00a390, meaning we will be paying \u00a3590. Is this legal? His reasons were because he received a water bill that was \"quite high\" (we contribute to the water bill) and he thinks it is reasonable to make us pay more.", "summary": "Had problems with taps since we moved in 1.5 years ago. Landlord has unsuccesfully resolved this issue. We can't shower or bathe now. He also wants to increase our rent by \u00a390."} {"id": "t3_x0nb6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My mom's dog was attacked by a bigger dog, and I almost shouted the other dog into pieces (Dovakhin?). What are some things that you've done that surprised you (and possibly others that were around you)?", "post": "Some context from my story:\n\nMy mom and I were arriving home when some woman was allowing her big dog (some kind of mastiff) to defacate all over our lawn. As we pulled into the driveway, she realized she was going to have to clean up after herself, so she asks us for a bag (real nice that she was going to just let her dog shit all over our lawn until she saw us).\n\nSomehow, one of my mom's dogs - a chihuahua - snuck out and into the front yard. The two dogs went about their business, doing dog stuff to identify one another, when her dog began absolutely mauling my mom's. Just beating it to all hell.\n\nI had no idea what to do, so I just let reflexes and instincts kick in. I just let loose this ridiculous formless shout, no real words, completely incoherent. But the damn thing was so filled with rage that the two dogs, and the lady *and* my mom were completely shocked. Her big dog just stopped completely and stared at me. I walked over, picked up my mom's dog - it wasn't hurt... just shaken - and headed back into the house.\n\nMore than anything, I think I surprised myself. That dog could have definitely messed me up, but I never thought twice.\n\nThe lady gave us her information in case my mom's dog was injured, but that was pretty much the end of that little altercation.", "summary": "At a loss for what do while my mom's dog was getting mauled, I raged out and scared everything on my street."} {"id": "t3_5209lu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[23F] boyfriend[25M] and I broke up and I am still unsure why.", "post": "Throwaway.\n\nI have been dating the most amazing person for over a year and a half. We never fight, and he was the first person to not be abusive to me. We seemed to be the perfect fit.\n\nSuddenly, he said he can't emotionally support me any longer. He's been incredibly busy with work and trying to take a separate direction in life, and worth our conflicting schedules it can't work out. So with much regret, he had to end it.\n\nI talked to him on several occasions in person and tried to tell him that we need each other and I can be there for him to help him through these times. He said he would sleep on it.\n\nFast forward a couple days and we meet again. I break down saying I can't be in a suspended state of not knowing and he suggested that we take a break for a while so he can sort things out mentally. Oddly enough, after much crying and comforting each other, we hooked up. Before I left his place he kissed me goodbye. We have spoken since then but it's just casual talk.\n\nHe swears there's nobody else he wants and I believe him. He says he loves me and I believe him. He says he just needs some time to himself, but I can't possibly wrap my head around the reasoning when he still acts like we are a couple when we see each other. And when he's constantly texting me and acting like everything is fine. Recently he called me by an affectionate name. \n\nI'm at my lowest point right now, seeking help from anonymous people on the Internet. It's a little embarrassing, but I'm at a loss and I don't know what to do.", "summary": "Somebody who I was in a loving relationship with broke it off suddenly and for an (what seems to me) unclear reason."} {"id": "t3_1n5sve", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(25F) boyfriend(26M) broke up with me claiming he needed to be on his own and is seemingly already dating someone else...", "post": "My(25F) boyfriend(26M) of about a year, whom I was madly in love with, recently broke my heart and shattered my world when he broke up with me out of the blue. We've been living together for quite a while and have a puppy together. Until about a week prior to the breakup, he was still talking about marriage and our future together. When he ended things two weeks ago, he said he just needed space and to be by himself. He said he couldn't commit to a relationship and that he needed to take a personal journey but that he believed and hoped that we'd find our way back to one another. He said all of this with tears in his eyes. Three days after he told me this, with much conviction I might add, I discovered that he is already seeing someone else. Not to mention the fact that they are planning to go away together in one month, on the exact vacation he and I had been planning. I feel so lost and I don't know what to do with myself. I can't believe he's found it so easy to move on when I believed we were so deeply in love. In retrospect, I really wouldn't have done anything differently throughout our relationship and really do believe that I treated him with utmost love and respect. How do you recover from such betrayal and deceit?", "summary": "boyfriend left me saying he couldn't commit and is already dating someone else just weeks later. Unsure of how to heal from this."} {"id": "t3_3v24ba", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "I've never celebrated my birthday up to this date, but now I feel like I have to", "post": "Hello /r/advice\n\nIn less than a month, I'm turning eighteen.\n\nI've always been that person that never celebrated his own birthday. This is because I didn't really have any friends until I got out of middle school and because I always thought my parents were embarassing.\n\nI do have some friends now, and I've been invited to several 18th birthday parties myself. However, I still do not really want to celebrate my birthday. The house I'm living in is a mess and I wouldn't even know what to do or prepare for such a party. \n\nThe real problem is that people ask me what I'm gonna do for my birthday etc. Whenever I tell someone that I haven't planned anything, they look overly surprised and I don't know what else to say. What am I supposed to do? Is the 18th birthday really a \"must-celebrate\" and will people be mad at me if I won't do it?", "summary": "I don't want to celebrate my 18th birthday but people expect me to, and now I have no idea what to do"} {"id": "t3_131pv3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [16m] being selfish?", "post": "I'm currently in a relationship with a girl [16f] of just under a year. I love her profoundly, and she does the same. Things are smooth sailing in our relationship. I feel like we have great chemistry, and our communication is open and vocal. We are sexually active, and it's great as it's supported by honesty and intimacy. I have few complaints about her, and can see myself spending a lot of time with her. She's an amazing girl, that I can't deny in the slightest.\n\nSo what's the problem? \n\nWell here's where my confusion comes in. One on hand, I have this awesome girl who has grown immensely close to me. On the other, sometimes as of recent, I feel as if I'm missing out to some extent. She is my first serious girlfriend, as I was incredibly shy before meeting her. And now I feel like I've missed out talking to other girls that I might've liked. Now this sounds incredibly stupid, as I already have a person that I love and loves me back. But I can't shake this feeling I'm getting that I want to talk and meet other girls. So what I guess I'm asking is what are your opinions on what your plan of action would be in this situation.", "summary": "With GF of about a year, who I get along and love greatly, feeling as if I've missed out on other girls as she is my first serious girlfriend. What do?"} {"id": "t3_3iebs8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25F] boyfriend [25M] of 3 months refuses to go down on me even though he did it frequently with his ex [24F]", "post": "My boyfriend refuses to go down on me. This isn't a problem as far as sexual satisfaction goes, he gets me off just fine during intercourse. And I go down on him because he enjoys it and I like it as well. But ever since we first got together he simply will not go down on me.\n\nA few days ago I asked him why he wouldn't and he says he doesn't enjoy it. I asked him if he has ever done it before and he told me he did it almost all the time with his ex. If I were him I probably wouldn't have mentioned that but he values honesty to an extreme. Anyway it made me really mad that he would always go down on her but never on me so I asked him why. He said in the period after his breakup but before he met me (about a year, he did a few casual hookups during that time) he realized he didn't enjoy it anymore and stopped doing it. \n\nThis isn't an issue about him leaving me sexually unsatisfied or unfulfilled. He always gets me off but never goes down on me. And I don't know if this makes me insecure or jealous or whatever but it pisses me the hell off that he would always go down on his ex but not even entertain the thought with me. I feel it's unfair that I'm willing to go down on him but he won't return the favor. I'm reluctant to give him blowjobs now since I know he will never go down on me yet he did it dozens of times for his ex.\n\nIf it's relevant, he doesn't have any communication with his ex.", "summary": "Boyfriend doesn't go down on me but did it all the time for his ex. Is it wrong of me to be upset about this?"} {"id": "t3_1p0tig", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my friend [16 F]. Known each other for 3yrs. How to ask her if she is still into that other guy.", "post": "I have been close friends with a girl for about 3 years now and she for about a year has had a crush on a guy (or just says that she does). She actually has never come near asking him out. \n\nNow, I have had a crush on said friend-that-is-a-girl for a couple of months. How would I ask said girl if she is still interested in her crush without it sounding too much like I have feelings for her (if she does have still has feelings for this other guy, I would prefer if she didn't know I had a crush on her).", "summary": "I want to ask if this girl has feelings for another guy, but don't want to seem like I'm totally in to her..."} {"id": "t3_3nlttk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24M] and friendship question about helping and receiving.", "post": "Basically I have a friend who I have spent lots of time helping work on their car mechanically, and car audio projects, and a few other things, for free. They now have a motorcycle project but seem to think my time is just abundant and free.\n\nI do this type of stuff to put food on my table, but they offer me no compensation. Friends should help friends but I feel Im the only one who really puts in any investment to the friendship.\n\nSo I kinda hesitated to help on this motorcycle project.\n\nThis friend has a little business of his own, which I have given him tons of business. Knowing he taxes me on all of purchases because hes got to make some money for his efforts and time.\n\nWell he broke something on the motorcycle, something somewhat important and all hell broke loose and it somewhat blamed on me because he asked to borrow a torque wrench and I lent it to him, but he didn't have the right socket to match up so he winged it. And broke shit.\n\nPoetic justic?", "summary": "Peer loves to tax me on everything, but when my help is needed it is just assumed my time and services/tools are free."} {"id": "t3_3mazl0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my SO [24 F] of 2 years long distance circumstantial/mutual breakup. First breakup.", "post": "We met abroad in Germany 2 years ago. Having both recently graduated college on opposite coasts, we spent this summer living together after 1.5 years of distance. Daily Skype calls, short week-long visits during school vacations all to the wind; now we could have a \"real\" day-to-day relationship.\n\nAnd it was wonderful. Both worked restaurant jobs to make ends meet and our relationship grew. \n\nBut Fall is here now and I am moving overseas for a job and she is staying to continue working and getting an education. Nothing wrong with our relationship. It was pretty great. Loved each other very much and the breakup was mutual, both realizing there was no end-goal in sight to distance. \n\nBeen there, done that, neither of us were at our happiest during distance but there was always an end date when we knew we would be happy together. Decided to remember the relationship as a happy one together. Not drawn out and resentful.\n\nFirst breakup. No real questions. Maybe similar stories? Just wanted to write.", "summary": "Spent wonderful summer together with long time, long distance girlfriend. Mutually calling it off due to renewed long distance. Mutually awful."} {"id": "t3_2u45wn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22M] new girlfriend [21F] may be schizophrenic.", "post": "My girlfriend of two months acts much like an average anime obsessed, introverted millennial. We hit it off immediately from our first date, and my friends all think she's awesome.\n\nOn New Year's eve, I invited a few people over to drink in the new year. 3am rolled around and we all called I a night. We went to bed and she immediately passed out. Being the drunk idiot I was, I tried to wake her up to get some lovin' on...\n\nShe woke up and started crying, hugging her knees, and saying, \"I'm dead. I'm dead. I really should be dead. Why don't you just kill me?\" My brother had night terrors when we were little, so I figured that's what it was... I just held her and told her everything was all right and I was there. I never told her about that.\n\nA few nights ago, I had everyone over drinking again. I passed out on the couch and she stayed up... And apparently went through another one of those episodes with only my friends, clueless, thinking she might be on drugs.\n\nAfter I heard about it, I asked her if she had night terrors or sleep walked or even talked in her sleep. She said she didn't.\n\nMy friend who's in the mental health field says it looked like a schizophrenic episode... And I don't know what to do about it.", "summary": "My girlfriend has episodes when she's drunk. I honestly don't know what they are or more importantly how to approach them with her."} {"id": "t3_2vqce4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm[22 M] am sick with the flu, and my parents want me home for the weekend, My [22 F] GF of 6 months, wants to spend V-day together no matter what.", "post": "This is our first v-day together. My gf wants to spend it, and she is getting really mad at the thought that I won't be here for it. My parents really want me home (they're doctors and they really like to monitor me when I'm sick), and to be fair, I'm in no position to actually do anything. I'm pretty bedridden. I've asked her to reconsider going to dinner and watching a movie when I'm better. \n\nShe said to me that she wouldn't breakup with me, but she would be mad for a really long time. It kinda makes me feel guilty for being sick and having parents that are really overbearing. What should I do?", "summary": "I have been sick for the past couple days with the flu and severe headaches. My GF wants to spend Saturday with me for v-day. My parents want me home."} {"id": "t3_yk8ab", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to tell a loved one who has anxiety and anger issues that you're not happy?", "post": "So my best friend (Male 22) and I (Female 29) have been friends for 3 months. For the past 3 weeks things have been a bit shaky and I feel like I am walking on eggshells around him. I have been staying at his house for 3 days and I have been miserable the whole time. He didn't even come to bed last night, instead opting for sleeping in the lounge room, and that hurt me. I was going to talk to him about it today but he is in a very mad mood. I don't want to leave him though; he needs me.", "summary": "How do I approach my best friend who has anxiety and anger issues about me not being happy in the friendship, without angering him (too much?)"} {"id": "t3_1x08hn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my ex [20 M] of 3 1/2 years. He broke up with me because he no longer feels the same.", "post": "Just over a week ago my boyfriend broke up with me completely out of the blue. He said he doesn't love me anymore and just doesn't feel the same. I was devastated but this is the 3rd time he has broken up with me. From previous experience I knew not to cry and beg and I have barely spoken to him since. I don't regret at all getting back together with him as we had been happy together for 2 years after the last break up. I told him when we broke up that if he changes his mind about us to let me know and we could try and work it out. \n\nLast night he sent me a text at 3 in the morning saying \"Breaking NC. Miss talking to you. I keep looking at your reddit posts. We can't talk I shouldn't text... Ahhh Fuck. Just letting you know\"\n\nHis message really upset me because I can see hes taking the break up badly and I don't know what to do. I would like to get back together with him but I don't know what to make of his text last night...", "summary": "Ex boyfriend sent me a text showing he misses me, I would like to get back together but i don't know what to make of his text."} {"id": "t3_15n1na", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Having trouble with dad letting one year old sleep all evening.", "post": "I work part times on evenings and weekends. While I am at work my fiance let's our daughter sleep all evening so he can also sleep. I have two problems with this:\nThe first is that when I get home she wants to stay up all night. I go from working to taking care of her all hours of the night while he goes to bed. \nThe second is that I worry that she may not actually be sleeping the whole time he is. I'm worried that he sleeps while she is awake in her crib for who knows how long. The reason this crossed my mind is because she doesn't sleep much when I am home with her in the evenings. Last night she was up very late and I decided to put her in her crib when midnight came around and let her cry it out a little. Her dad was sleeping five feet away from her and he didn't even budge or show signs of waking up while she was crying and screaming. It really scared me and now I'm afraid that may happen often when I'm at work. \nAny advice for either situation?", "summary": "my fiance let's my daughter sleep all evening while I'm at work and leaves me to be up all night with her while he goes to bed."} {"id": "t3_tuwbo", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I need some help dealing with something very minor. (semi-dick boyfriend alert)", "post": "Hey Reddit, I have had a brilliant relationship for a while now. But, something very minor came up just a few days ago. My girlfriend is bi-sexual.\n\nNow, I accept that. And it doesn't bother me. I mean, it's great that she trusts me. She has never really been one to hit on people or look for cheating opportunities or anything like that. And she is honestly perfect to me. I just purposed about a week ago.\n\nMy issue is two things... I feel a little paranoid, like she'll check out others girls or guys and lose interest in me... And she has a friend. That friend just said (to me) that she might be bi... She asked to experiment with my girlfriend... That was before my girlfriend \"came out\". My girlfriend said she finds the friend mildly attractive... So I worry about that as well...\n\nSo, I ask... Am I over reacting? And what should I do about this whole thing?", "summary": "Girlfriend came out bi. I'm paranoid she'll lose interest and check out others. And I am afraid that her friend will convince her too..."} {"id": "t3_t56ir", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit Cat Owners -- My cat attacked me yesterday. What should I do?", "post": "Here's the full situation: I have a frisky black cat who enjoys going out onto my screened-in porch in the evening while I watch the Daily Show. While he's out there, another cat, from the down the road, routinely wanders up to our front door and they start meowing at each other and occasionally batting at one another through the glass. Last night, I opened the door to let him back in and he was facing away from me, looking at this other cat. I called his name, he spun around, jumped at me, dug his back claws into my legs, and tried to go for my face. Thankfully, I got my hand up in time and he managed to just sink his claws into my palm instead. In a sort of automatic response, I flung him onto the ground and he hissed at me. Then I shut the door and waited for my wife to come home from her run. She retrieved the cat from the porch without incident while I disinfected my leg and hand. Is this something I should be concerned about? Can't a have cat that occasionally goes bonkers and attacks people, right? I don't know what the protocol is here.", "summary": "cat was on porch, interacting with another cat through the front door, I attempted to retrieve cat, cat went bat-shit and attacked me, wife saved the day. What's the next step?"} {"id": "t3_15yrjs", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I get paid very little. How do I communicate with my boss that I would like to be paid fairly?", "post": "My situation:\nI work for my Grandpa in inventory categorization for his store. He's always a very thrifty man and a hardened salesman in general. I don't think he understands how difficult it is working with inventory. I'm also in a third world country and I get paid little(6 bucks) compared to other accountants here(10-30 bucks). I also worked for him as a salesperson and have since gone to work in Canada for much better wages. This is only a temp job because I'm on vacation in my home country so I don't know how much bargaining power I have. I also have very flexible hours, but I can only handle like 3 hours a day before I get a headache from all the numbers. What are your suggestions to do here? Should I tell him and risk some relationship(?) or should I simply work somewhere else?", "summary": "work hard for grandpa, but he doesn't understand how difficult my job is and is only paying me a low wage despite paying other's doing similar workloads twice my wage."} {"id": "t3_2ghg14", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] & BF [27 M] (1.5 yrs together) are in a x-country relationship; how do we get together without destroying our balance? Someone has to make a sacrifice and we both know it won't be his pursuit of his passion.", "post": "There is no doubt we have a great relationship. Shortly after we started dating though, he let me know that he would be moving across the country in a year to pursue a life in music. I said I was open minded to a long distance relationship. Now we are in our 4th month apart and it sucks. Yes, there are some cool parts (getting independence and control of my own time) but ultimately, I'm excited for this phase to end.\n\nHow do we end it? There are two options. One, I leave my job, family, friends, and home behind and begin an adventure out there. Two, he gives up on pursuing music the way he originally had in mind (and probably with the best odds of success). The problem is, this is his life's passion and he has been planning this for years so I can't exactly get in the way now. Not to mention, I want it for him. \n\nI've been trying to forge my own adventure to look forward to out there by applying to grad school which I want to do anyways. However, I wouldn't have picked this location if it were not for him so it feels like a really grand gesture for him/our relationship. It makes me terrified that I am some silly girl throwing my life away for a boy. I want to see myself as more independent and in charge of my own life. \n\nIt feels like it boils down to feeling like I would do this for him but he would not do it in return for me. That's not the whole picture but I do feel like it is throwing off the balance in our relationship that I move for him. I've asked him what he can do for me to show me the balance is there but it's been sort of a stump-er for both of us.", "summary": "How do I leave my friends, family, home, and job behind in order to be with the person I love and still feel a sense of balance and Independence in our relationship?"} {"id": "t3_26whej", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21/F] need advice. First real crush.", "post": "Hello! \n\nSo, first off, I would say I am a person that has never fallen in love. I've had physical encounters, but that's that. \n\nRecently I've started picking interest in this one guy in my university. We haven't really talked much though, he always has his friends around. \n\n* It's frustrating for me because I literally could melt away any second when he smiles and his voice and just siiigh. I've even imagined myself doing things to him which is usually something that doesn't happen to me. \n\n* He's sort of the guy in the background. Has no problem talking with his friends but usually maintains a calm expression. He's rather goodlooking, however seems to be single and doesn't seem like a ladies guy even though he always hangs around with one girl (she doesn't like me one bit, however her boyfriend is definitely someone else). I've tried talking more to him but he doesn't initiate any taking with me... (then again I seem to have a very cool/cold nontalking image? not sure...).\n\n* When I start to talk to him, he seems rather friendly though. I just don't get it. Should I think he doesn't like me? Could he just be \"shy\"? I'm not even talking relationship. \n\n* First and foremost, I'd like to be friends with him, I really like him. I get extremely emotional when I've had something happening that makes me think he despises me and then again I can't stop thinking of him.\n\n* Another thing... I've got many complexes, I don't have a high self-esteem and I'm not looking pretty, I'm rather... plump. \n\nI hope this sub can help me. If I'm wrong here, please point me to a better place to put my childish worries. \n\nAnyway, the QUESTION is: How can I try and get him out of my head? Should I somehow pursue him? How can I befriend him? Do you think he might actually not like me and be polite or could he be just shy? \n\n-------------\n#", "summary": "I can't get a guy out of my head. I don't know what he thinks about me and talking to him is complicated. How can I try to get over him or what would you tell me to do? "} {"id": "t3_1b930h", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I (23F) asked him (27M) out. Had a great time but he stopped responding. Help?", "post": "Hello all. So here is the story:\n\nI met this handsome fellow out at a bar and we ended up drunkenly making out by the end of the night. I got his number and we were texting the next few days. I asked him if he wanted to go out again and meet up. We met up and had a great date. It ended with a nice makeout but this time, not alcohol induced. \n\nHe asked if I wanted to have dinner later that week and I said yes but we never made set plans. We text on and off for the rest of the week. He went on a business trip and texted me again when he came back the day before St. Patrick's Day. He was very very cute and even called me \"babe\". I asked him if he would want to hang out for St. Patrick's Day and he said he might be able to. I call him the next day and leave a voicemail asking if he would like to meet up and that I am heading to a block party. My phone's battery ran out soon after that. \n\nThe next day I texted him asking how his weekend was celebrating and I have not received anything back since. It has been a week and a half. I am just wondering if perhaps I did something wrong. Lost interest? I came on too strong? Perhaps I don't understand men as much as I thought? ha. I am SO confused!", "summary": "Met a guy at a bar, asked him out and it went amazingly with lots of attraction. He is sweet to me but flat out stops conversation one day out of nowhere. What could be the problem?"} {"id": "t3_30mwi5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] and my GF [21F] decided to take a break for a few months, has a break ever worked for you?", "post": "Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 4 years. Basically all of our college career so far and some of her high school. Lately she has been getting worried that we have been dating for so long that we are going to end up moving in and what not (marriage etc) and is afraid that this is happening at too young of an age and because we have been with each other for so long. She said she has never really been single and wanted to experience that. As someone who had a lot of bad relationships in the past (even though I'm 22 I know haha) I liked the stability and our relationship has always been great (in our 4 years we never had any bad arguments). Anyways, I told her that I would give her a few months to figure her stuff out and then we can go from there. I didn't want to do this because I almost never hear of anyone coming back from a break and getting back together but I knew it was going to be worse if we tried to hang on. \n \n Has anyone taken a break with a partner and come back together and continued to date? I am handling the situation like we are going to break up because I can only assume she is enjoying being single finally haha I wont be speaking with her for another month.", "summary": "4 year relationship, GF wants to try out being single before we move any further (since she hasn't really been single before), Has anyone ever gotten back together after a \"break\" and been fine or better"} {"id": "t3_50hnq2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [15M] need clarification with my crush [15F]", "post": "So a couple of months before the summer holiday I started talking to a girl in my high school but she liked someone else so I thought we can still be friends. Then I said something that bothered her and she wanted us to stop talking. So we did and did not communicated over summer, but since school started it looked like things between her and the other guy did not work out so I went to her and asked her if there is any chance she would consider texting with me again. She agreed and we talked the past 2 days and the first I thought the conversation was actually going ok but yesterday sometimes it felt she was responding only because she didn't want to be mean by not talking to me. Today at school when I was leaving for the buss station with one of my classmates she was coming to the lockers with her friends and as soon as she saw us she placed herself in the middle between them.\n\nSo I was wondering if you guys can clarify this for me? Did she started talking to me again because of pitty or am I overthinking or something?", "summary": "Was talking to girl and the she wanted to stop doing it. We started texting again 2 days ago and today at school she placed herself between her friends when she passed by me."} {"id": "t3_1lmpd7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19m] am currently unsure whether I am officially in a relationship with a [19f].", "post": "I met a girl two thursdays ago and we've been talking ever since despite distance issues and we spent Sunday and Monday together talking, being intimate, and watching movies. We were talking about our future and I asked \"Do you want to do this? Because I really want to.\" and she said yes and she does. I felt like we had a mutual understanding of what I meant by that. But now that I look back I felt like I should have been more forward about it.\n\nI've never really been in a real relationship before so does this mean we are officially in a relationship or still talking?", "summary": "Unused to dating and used a poor choice of words so unsure whether or not me and this girl are currently in a relationship or still talking."} {"id": "t3_40ljob", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] with my girlfriend [21F] of 2 years decided to go on a \"break\" due to her being miserable but not with me.", "post": "My girl friend of 2 years came over about 2 days ago saying she was miserable for the last couple of months but not as a result of anything I did. She said she does not want to break up because I still make her happy and am able to comfort her. At this point she started crying. She also went on to say she does not know why she is miserable but cited some possible reasons such as some of her friends, not all, saying we are a bad match for each other and some stress over the holidays with her mom being indifferent towards me but her general family liking me. She asked for some space and time to try to figure it all out. I told her if she ever needs anything, even a shoulder to cry on, I am available. We hugged it out till, she stopped crying and I gave her a tissue. Neither of us wants to give up on the relationship but right now i am at a loss as what to do except give her a lot of space think on the order of going from living together to once or twice a week seeing each other. Any suggestions on what I could possibly do?", "summary": "Girl friend comes into apartment, starts cry and saying she has been miserable for months now but I am not the cause. Should I be worried?"} {"id": "t3_49duf1", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "(M20) Got a girls phone number for the first time, completely unsure how to proceed.", "post": "*Throwaway account cause this is kind of an embarrassing question. Sorry ahead of time if the formatting is bad I don't usually make posts.*\n\nYesterday I went to a car rally with my brother, which I was pretty hesitant towards because I'm not a person who enjoys a lot of socialization, but my brother was pretty excited for it so I agreed to go with him. \n\nAnyway, my brother met a group of people around our age and they decided to hang around with us for awhile. They had been partying the night before so they were in pretty rough shape to say the least. One of the girls in the group was wearing flats and a thin sweater, (in northern Alberta, not that warm this time of year), so I offered her my seat by the fire and a blanket. \n\nI never usually approach people to talk to them, especially when it comes to talking to women I just get too nervous, so I have very little experience when it comes to this kind of thing. But I could tell that she was interested in me, she kept glancing over at me and every time ours eyes met she would smile and look away quickly. I made what little small talk I could think of to make it as least awkward as possible, and I even managed to muster up the nerve to ask her for her number. It was a pretty big deal for me. \n\nANYWAY, my question is how do I proceed from here? My brothers told me that I should wait a few days before I text her, but I've heard that a million times before and I want to know if that is good advice or not. Do I ask her out on a date when I text her? Or do I just make casual conversation for awhile? I have little to no experience in this and I really don't wanna mess this up. I'm prepared to accept rejection if it comes but I really like this girl and I want to make my first impression count.", "summary": "I got a girls phone number for the first time, how do I proceed without seeming like the absolute noob I am?"} {"id": "t3_353ojk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with [19 F] Romantic interest messaging brother on tinder", "post": "Ok, so I think I should give some background first.\n\nIve had a crush on this girl since I met her in high school, and always assumed that i had no chance with her. She dated a good friend of mine during those high school years but they didnt last. We eventually ended up at the same university, and living very close to each other in residence.\n\nA few drunk conversations occured and i ended up spilling the beans about my long time crush on her. This is when she told me that she also had similar thoughts, and had been waiting for me to start talking to her. This scared the crap out of me because i never imagined that this was possible.\n\nWe continued to talk much more frequently and became pretty close. At this point i didnt find myself ready for a reltionship with her, let alone anyone. This was partly due to her relationship with my friend, but also my immaturity at the time. After many long conversations we both agreed that our time would come and we shouldnt rush into anything. \n\nFor the next year i kept my distance romantically, but tried to remain friends. We drifted apart that summer, she got into a relationship, so i still kept my distance.\n\nThis is when things went downhill. She stopped responding to my messages, but i still tried to ocasionally talk to her becasue i really cared about her. She finally answered and told me that her current boyfriend didnt like the thought of the two of us, and that our distance was needed. This was a crushing blow. I couldnt stop thinking about her ever since we confessed our feelings for each other, and her responses to my messages ended.\n\nFast forward to now.\n\nI just found out that i no longer had her as a friend on facebook, and my texts would go unanswered. This week she finally accepted my friend request, so i sent her a message (just a 'hope you are doing alright' type of message), her response was 'thanks'. \n\nToday, my older brother told me that she had just started messaging him in tinder.", "summary": "me and highschool crush confessed our feelings for eachother, decided to wait before getting into anything, shes messaging my brother on tinder,"} {"id": "t3_1kcjyp", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "To Talk to the Ex or Not?", "post": "Hey Reddit [M], So about a month ago my Girlfriend broke up with me after we had been dating for a short time. There was one particular week in the relationship that we didnt talk much, and when we finally got a chance to talk the conversations from her end were complete cut offs, like yea and oh cool and aw thats cute. I could see the Break up coming but I had no idea why or what had gone wrong because before she was fine happy loving life and me, well at least thats how it felt?\n\n\"The break up on the day go's like this\"\n\nHer reasoning was she wasn't as committed as me, She said that it was too rushed and I suppose it was rushed and that she saw the relationship as Friends that just kiss and \". . .\",\nI told her that I wasn't going to let go so easily and she shut me down and said there is no point even trying. After she said that I just said well I'm probably too good for her and I don't know if I want to talk to her tomorrow or another day ill need some time to myself and she replied with can we still be friends, to which we said our goodbyes and we both walked off.\nSo to my question I feel as if I should talk to her for closure, I never answered her question if we can still be friends but I wanted to tell her that there's no way I am going to sit in the friendzone, I'm still open to get her back but I'm also not because I know there is no point chasing a piece of string in circles. Should I try to talk to her and apologise for being a dick saying I didn't want to talk to her and try to find out why she all of a sudden was not into me or should I just go another day thinking about her until I forget.", "summary": "Broke up with GF, The break up feels like it wasn't closed, Should I try to contact her because I feel like a dick, I think about her most days, Should I continue to move on?"} {"id": "t3_1pg10h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] of almost 2 years, are having issues regarding sex and anxiety", "post": "Please help, GF and I are having some issues regarding sex and anxiety \n\nI have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years, the sex was always great and even sometimes on the kinky side which was awesome! \nBut in the last few months things have changed, we barely have sex any more and if I initiate she only wants to take care of me.\nSome of the main issues are she is on the pill and feels that it is hurting her sex drive and ability to get wet, we are both university students so we are busy and we don't live together. The biggest problem she has expressed is that it started to hurt, this pain has led to her becoming very anxious about sex, even the thought of sex can put her on edge.\n Also we both feel we have become bored and want to spice things up. I want to satisfy her again. \nI really need some help, ideas, pointers, any thing?\nWe love each other very much and see this as only a bump in the road. But we both want to fix it. \nThank you!!!", "summary": "the pill, being busy, anxiety, pain, lack of spice, are all hurting sex life and it's spilling in to relationship. HELP"} {"id": "t3_2rf9c7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (24/F) with my best friend (22/F) of 18 years. We were supposed to move in together, but after months of back and forth she bailed and hasn't told me.", "post": "My best friend, we will call her Catherine, and I have been best friends for 18 years. She has been dating this guy, Josh for almost 4 years. A year ago, she brought up to him that she wanted to move in together and he said he wasn't ready. She brought it up with him at least 5 more times between January and November and he kept giving her bullshit reasons why he didn't want her to move in still, but she stayed because she figured he'd come around eventually. \n\nIn August, I was talking about how I wanted to get an apartment within the next few months. Catherine said she would be interested in living together if she didn't move in with Josh by then. This began a several month cycle of her going back and forth about wanting to get an apartment with me, which was very frustrating.\n\nIn November, Catherine and Josh talked again about moving in together. Mind you, Josh is a 30 year old man-child. He really has no redeeming qualities at all. Josh, yet again, came up with a million excuses as to why he wasn't ready. He also told her she needs to clean his house and cook for him more. So Catherine said she was just going to look for an apartment with me, so he had another year to get ready. \n\nI've been looking ever since then for apartments in our price range. I'd email her things I found online. As recently as last Wednesday, she told me I should submit applications to some apartments. This brings us to yesterday, when Catherines sister texted me to tell me that Catherine was moving in with Josh at that very moment. Catherine still has not contacted me to tell me. \n\nI know that whenever Catherine does decide to tell me, she is going to expect me to be happy for her, but I'm not. I can't help but feel like I was used to pressure Josh into living with her. I feel like Catherine did to me exactly what Josh did to her. Am I overreacting? What should I say about the situation when she does finally tell me?", "summary": "my best friend and I were looking for and applying for apartments together.. she just moved in with her crappy boyfriend and hasn't even told me. Am I wrong to be angry?"} {"id": "t3_2023be", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Communication and other issues between me [21 F] and my boyfriend [19 M] of seven months. I feel lost.", "post": "Met my boyfriend in August of last year, hit it off right away, and immediately started dating. We fell in love with each other, and for a while, everything was great. We wanted to spend so much time together and we were very affectionate.\n\nHe's been suffering from emotional and mental issues relating to childhood abuse and has been seeking counseling. Lately, he's been run down and stressed and negative all the time. Definitely not as fun to be around as he used to be. I feel terrible for saying this, but sometimes I don't want to be around him because it's exhausting. We're constantly addressing his problems and it's making me bitter.\n\nNow he initiates whatever physical contact we engage in, and I'm reluctant to respond. It feels like the spark is gone. I feel like I'm not getting anything out of the relationship and I don't know how to fix it. Whenever I try to talk about it with him, he asks what he can do to change it, and I don't know what to tell him.\n\nI've never dated anyone for longer than three months. Usually by this point I've gotten annoyed and kicked the guy out of the picture. I consider myself to be a stable person emotionally, so it's difficult for me to deal with his emotional roller coaster rides sometimes. I feel like it's difficult for me to relate.\n\nI miss the man I fell in love with. I miss being in love and loving it. More than anything, I miss feeling like I didn't have to worry about my relationship with him.\n\nMaybe all this stuff is normal. If it is, I feel like I'm wasting your time. But it certainly doesn't feel normal. It feels awful. It's upsetting me.\n\nTo make matters worse, we're planning to take our first vacation together in a week. We're going to Disney World for the weekend. I don't know what to do.\n\nReddit, please help me.", "summary": "Having some pretty significant issues with my boyfriend, mostly involving communication and emotional distance. We've grown apart and somehow we're going on vacation together in a week and I'm afraid."} {"id": "t3_14n5va", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23/M] dated a girl [20/F] for a month. She slept with another guy. Do I bother contacting her again?", "post": "I met this girl on an online dating website. We started talking a couple months ago, and met in person one month ago.\n\nWe got along swimmingly and were seeing each other two to three times a week. Things escalated quickly. She told me she wasn't ready for a relationship because she had recently gotten out of one that lasted several years. I was fine with that, and besides, we'd only been dating for a short while anyways. Regardless, what we had certainly had a relationship feel to it. The only noticeable difference was that it was not labeled as such. I didn't push her, things just wound up that way.\n\nAt the end of the month we ended up having sex and she was to sleep over at my place a few days later. The day that we were supposed to see each other again she revealed to me through text that she got drunk the night prior, slept with some guy, wasn't ready for a relationship, and that we shouldn't see each other any more. She then said we should get coffee (assuming I even wanted to see her) over the weekend so she could tell me how she felt. I ended up driving to her neighbourhood and we went for coffee that night so I could get the conversation out of the way and not spend days thinking about the whole thing.\n\nShe felt absolutely awful because not only did she really like me, but I treated her very well and she knew she hurt me. She told me her drunkenly sleeping with another guy was her way of telling herself she wasn't ready for a monogamous relationship. She wanted to be with me, but just couldn't do it. She then called me the right guy at the wrong time. I am certain she was being genuine with her words. \n\nMy dilemma is that while I was hurt by how the whole thing went down, she did explicitly say she wasn't ready for a relationship early on. I still like her a lot, and don't feel bitter about the whole situation. I was planning on giving her a wide berth and not contacting her for a few months. Is this the right thing to do? Should I even contact her again? Why or why not?", "summary": "Dated a girl for a month. Ended up feeling like a relationship without the title. She slept with another guy because she wasn't over a past relationship."} {"id": "t3_4jsk4p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [26F] of 6 years, need to break up with her but do not know how.", "post": "There have been a few issues that have plagued our relationship over the past year and they range from lack of trust ( i saw an exchange of texts between her and her sister discussing leaving me for another guy), lack of communication, compatibility issues and her sisters meddling into our relationship. On her birthday i planned very nice things for her including a trip to a nearby to visit a very nice restaurant, expensive perfume, Pandora rings that she wanted, pampered day out with her sisters but she cancelled on my plans in favour of a night out with her sisters. Because of these issues we went on a break for just over a month and we got back together after, however, in hindsight i think we should have just broken up then. Since we got back together things have been a lot better but i strongly feel like its time to call it quits.\n\nOn Saturday i had mastered the courage to go and see her to tell her, but when i called her to meet up she was out of town. Since then the courage I had mustered seems to have diminished somewhat and i am not sure how to proceed. I keep thinking about not wanting to hurt her and her family etc and i just don't know how i should say what i need to say to her or how to approach her as she seems so unaware or unprepared for this.", "summary": "Need to break up with girlfriend. No day seems perfect. Don't know what to say and how to approach. How do i go about things?"} {"id": "t3_2yk56x", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Orthopedist vs . Neurologist For Back Pain?", "post": "24\nMale\n5'10\"\n145\nWhite\nA year since first injury\nLower spine\nScoliosis\nIntraosseous disc herniation at T12-L1 and L1-L2\nPosterocentral disc herniation at L5-S1, with ventral canal encroachment.\nRupture/degeneration of the interspinous ligament at L5-S1\n\nA year ago I received an MRI resulting in whats mentioned above. I was told there is no way of reversing the damage. The pain never stops, it radiates in waves through my entire lower back and into my thighs. For some reason the past week has been agonizing. Randomly woke up one morning at an 8 of 10 without even moving, pushed myself through work to find myself at one point unable to walk. \n\nYesterday I brought myself to a massage therapist who said my vertebrae are not just being pulled out of alignment but they are twisting. My sciatic pain is more accurately described as a knife in my side that won't go away. Feels more like something is out of place and won't go back, causing my entire back to be in spasm.", "summary": "Should I consult an Orthopedist or Neurologist for the injuries mentioned above? Pain has become unbearable and need some type of resolve, would greatly appreciate any advice."} {"id": "t3_443pd8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (36M) with wife (32F) who wants/needs long phone conversations while I'm on a business trip, but I really don't like long phone talks", "post": "So my wife and I have been married about 5 years, and recently my job has required me to travel more, and for longer periods each time (up to a week for domestic trips, up to two weeks for international ones). I always knew she was a phone talker, while I really don't care for extended phone conversations. To me, a 15 minute call is fine and enjoyable, but for my wife anything less than 30 minutes and she says she feels rushed.\n\nSo on my business trips, we usually try to connect by voice in the morning as we're getting ready for the day, and in the evening as we're getting ready for bed. The evening calls, though, end up being 45 minutes or an hour or more, and to be honest at end of a long day at work I just want to zone out watching some brainless TV show or movie, not talk on the phone. When I've approached her in the past and have said I'm not really a phone talker and am just fine with shorter talks, she basically just says the opposite, that she needs these longer talks and without them she is unhappy. Don't get me wrong, I definitely want to talk to my wife, see how she's doing, but I don't want to talk to her as long as she wants to talk to me.\n\nI'm not sure how to resolve this. We're just very different people when it comes to this issue and it's causing us to fight on occasion.\n\nDo you have any advice or suggestions on how we might resolve this? Or maybe if any other Redditors have a similar experience I would definitely like to hear how you and your SO came to some understanding", "summary": "My wife wants long phone conversations while I'm on business trips. I dont enjoy long phone talks and prefer shorter ones. How can we find something that makes us both happy when I'm away for work?"} {"id": "t3_12xnz7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Having a bit of a car problem, not sure if this is the best place", "post": "I have a 2008 Nissan Versa with a keyless ignition that is stuck and will not go into the \"Lock\" position. Because of this, anyone who wants to steal my car wouldn't need a key and would just have to get the door open. The car thinks the key is present at all times, so I have to use the manual key to lock the doors when I get out and a little \"Hey jackass, you left your keys in the car.\" alarm goes off for about 10 seconds. I was wondering if anyone has encountered this before or might be able to give me a heads up on the cost to repair something like this. If this is the wrong subreddit, please point me in the right direction. Thank you.", "summary": "Keyless ignition won't go into Lock position on 2008 Nissan Versa, how much money is this going to cost me"} {"id": "t3_2olv2v", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] and my girlfriend [23 F] of 1.5 years just told me she doesn't want kids in the future.", "post": "Here's the deal: I'm a family man. My family has always been really important to me and, because of that, I've always had this vision of having my own close-knit family down the road--maybe 10 years from now. I'm graduating college in a couple of weeks and I'm not in any hurry to settle down now.\n\nMy girlfriend (who has 2.5 years left in grad school) and I had a long talk about our relationship last night, in which she explained to me that, given her future profession (college professor), she doesn't feel that she'll ever be in a position to have children. She feels that having kids will hold her back from her personal ambitions, which I do think is admirable and respectable to an extent. She knows that I want children in the future and is therefore reluctant to get too serious in our relationship. In other words, she feels that these differences in values will inevitably break us apart and she's worried that if we don't work out the problem now, it will be harder once we've been living together for a while and really get serious. She also thinks that if one of us concedes and compromises, one of us will be sacrificing a lot.\n\nI really do love her and with the exception of this one big friction, we get along tremendously well. Thus, a few questions: **Is it smarter to bite the bullet and go our separate ways now, sparing ourselves of the 'inevitable' destruction down the road, or is it possible that we just enjoy ourselves for the moment and cross that bridge when we actually get there?** As far as I can tell, we both are very into each other, we're both otherwise happy in our relationship, and neither of us want to break up.", "summary": "I *really* want a family down the road. My girlfriend is *pretty sure* she won't. Given this difference, is continuing our relationship futile?"} {"id": "t3_3vn7g2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[19/M] I just broke up with my first girlfriend [17/F] a few hours ago and now I feel like shit.", "post": "I had never been in a relationship before and was a virgin before I met her six months ago. I had just finished my first year of college when we first met. We talked for about a month before we decided to start dating. It became very serious very fast. I lost my virginity to her. We became incredibly smitten with one another so quickly. She told me how much she loved me and how she had never felt this way with any other guy before. I loved her too and she definitely meant/means a lot to me. She honestly made a huge impact on my life. She accepted all my flaws and I accepted hers. She made me feel less insecure and cynical. And she constantly told me how much I mattered to her. And I felt the same way towards her too, at first. \n\nEventually as things went along we started to have fights very often yet we always had these amazing moments together that outweighed having all the fights. We spent nearly every single day together. But a few months ago I told her that once I transferred to another school in about a year that I would want the relationship to end. She told me that we should at least try but I felt as though this relationship wasn't worth the effort. I increasingly became apathetic about the relationship and felt as though I was just keeping it going just to make her happy. \n\n And now just a few hours ago I came clean with all these thoughts and doubts I had about how I wasn't as emotionally invested into this relationship as much as she is, and even after I told her that she said she still wanted to keep this going. Then I just decided to end it cause I didn't want to drag this thing on when I wasn't fully committed. In that moment I felt like I was doing the right thing for the both of us, and yet right now I feel incredibly shitty. Am I supposed to feel like this, considering this is my first relationship or have I royally screwed up?", "summary": "Broke up with my first girlfriend because I wasn't as emotionally invested into the relationship as she is and now I feel incredibly shitty. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_2r0755", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21F] want to break up with my boyfriend [19M].", "post": "We've been dating for a year now. At first I thought he was so great and the most compatible for me. After learning more about him, I can confidently say, this relationship will not last. \n\nI tried parting ways multiple times before but it didn't work because I would give in and let him back into my life.\n\nThere's nothing wrong with him. He's beautiful and sweet. He's extremely smart but I just cannot handle him anymore. He's completely selfish and he doesn't make me feel appreciated at all. I never ask him for anything ever as he does not work. I just want the things you cannot get with money and apparently I'm just wasting my time waiting for it. \n\nI've tried communicating to him and expressing my feelings but it goes into one ear and out the other. \n\nHis birthday is in 3 days and I have things planned for him but I truly know I do not want to be with him. What should I do? Should I celebrate his bday with him like nothing is wrong and then suddenly break up with him afterwards? Advice needed.", "summary": "boyfriends birthday is in 3 days but I know I do not want to be with him anymore. What should I do so that I don't completely ruin his bday?"} {"id": "t3_3shz7t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 M] have lost feelings for my gf [21 F] of three years over the course of long distance and college.", "post": "I've been friends with my gf since freshman year of high school and started dating her my senior year. We went to different universities and have been doing long distance for over two years.\n\nI don't hate it because I'm sort of an asexual creature that only focuses on school and cross country, but my gf incessantly expresses her sadness that I can't be with her. To be honest, I don't really know how I feel, but I do know that I don't think about or miss her enough to say it's love. Our relationship feels cyclic and only surface deep. We have the same meaningless texting conversations nearly every day. I want to reciprocate her feelings, but I feel like a shell of a person. \n\nI don't have the heart to break up with her because she's convinced we will be spending our lives together after graduation. Also, when I say long distance I mean 2000 miles so I'm really only seeing her during Thanksgiving, Winter Break, one or two times during school, and also during the summer. I'm going to be heading home for Thanksgiving and I'm wondering if it's smart to end things now or ruin it for her as soon as she gets home. I don't know if I'm going to end anything, but the fact that I think about it constantly is a red flag. Clearly I don't know myself that well. Part of me thinks severe depression clouds how I feel about anything and I maybe do love her just the same.", "summary": "Long distance in college for two years. I've fallen out of love, but I don't know how to end it."} {"id": "t3_2iohz0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with my roommate [22F] of 2 years, boyfriend [22M] is staying with us for free.", "post": "I live in an apartment with 2 other girls. We've lived here for 2 years now. We were all good friends before moving in together (and had also lived in a dorm together), but Ann and I were always closer than either of us were with Jen.\n\nThis past spring, Jen started dating Derek. At first, he stayed at our apartment a few nights a week, which I was totally fine with. I also have a boyfriend and stay at his apartment 2 nights per week on average (the weekend). However, over the past few months, Derek has started staying at our apartment every single night. Our apartment building has the option to pay extra each month for a parking spot, and he is currently paying that amount to keep her car there so he can drive it to work every day. He also has his own apartment with a few roommates, but they only ever go there if there's a specific reason to, like a party or something, which might be every couple weeks.\n\nSo, he is basically at our apartment all the time, even if she is not there. He does stay in her room, but it still changes the entire feel of the apartment. When we signed the lease (which is not cheap), we were agreeing to pay a certain amount to live with two people we were very close with, but now we are paying that same large amount to live with those 2 people (1 which we are much less close to now) and another person who we barely even know. \n\nIn addition to this, they act very sketchy when we are home. They sneak around to take showers and to leave the apartment. They also cook dinner in the kitchen most nights and do not acknowledge us at all if we go into the kitchen during this. Ann and I have started to keep our bedrooms doors shut most of the time. Our apartment is VERY small. There is a tiny room that all of the bedrooms, the kitchen, and the bathroom are off of. This apartment does not feel like ours anymore, and Ann and I are struggling with what to do. We do not want to create a hostile environment, but this is just unfair. Please help!", "summary": "Roommate's boyfriend essentially lives with us for free and it makes us uncomfortable. We do not want to create any animosity, but we cannot continue letting him live here without paying anything."} {"id": "t3_f5fi5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Secular volunteer programs?", "post": "I'm interested in volunteering **internationally**. More specifically, I'm interested in working with children in impoverished areas or areas in crisis. I'm well aware there are plenty of organizations within the United States who need volunteers, but those are not what I'm looking for. The Peace Corps and UNICEF are both great organizations, but there are many restrictions within each program that I would not allow me to qualify. I have been prescribed anti-depressants since I was in middle school and have a handful of mental health diagnoses. I have a heart problem (neurocardiogenic syncope) and a stomach problem (colitis). Neither of these conditions affect my daily life with a little attention. I understand there are an unlimited amount of things that could go wrong with my conditions and personal history, but this is something I am serious about. I taught an ESL class three years ago at a rural public school in North Carolina and I fell in love with teaching and helping kids. I was more than proficient in the six months I was there. I've worked with kids my whole life and have no qualms with working through a language barrier. I can learn a new language with relative ease. **What I am asking Reddit for is suggestions for organizations that offer international volunteer programs. Additionally, feedback from fellow Redditors who have taken advantage of such programs; what were the drawbacks, the unexpected perks, hardships, etc.?** I would be more than happy to elaborate on any questions that pertain to my question. I'm not here to be told that kids in America need help just as much as anywhere else in the world and that I'm being selfish, yada yada. The reason I'm interested in this is to help others and personal growth. I cannot think of a better place to bring my question than Reddit. Thanks for reading this far, guys!", "summary": "Looking for a non-religious program that offers international volunteering. I have a history of depression and minor health problems and fully understand the risks."} {"id": "t3_42n99z", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My boyfriend (31/m) is generally kind and fun, but loses his temper and yells at me (32/f) and then feels bad after and apologizes. Should I stay or leave?", "post": "We've been a couple for a little over a year and it's been happening more lately. He admits to having a temper, he admits to yelling and me and saying hurtful things. I'm trying to be understanding because he hasn't been in a long-term relationship because so many women have left him and didn't give him a chance at a relationship. He's a successful man and is generally very nice and doesn't like when men are jerks to women, which is why I'm having such a problem with this one. I went to hug him today as we are very affectionate with each other, and he pushed me away and then when I asked him if it's bad to hug him, he lost his cool and started yelling at me and getting angry with me. It's funny because in the past (we live together), he would work from home and had no problem with me going down on him, but if I want to hug him, he freaks out. I don't get it. He tells me he is a jerk and he's sorry for treating me poorly but he keeps doing this and then apologizing and then tells me he'll \"work on it\" and it just happens again. I am getting to the point where I don't even want to tell him how I feel because he's going to get mad or say that I get sad about little things or that I'm exhausting. He wants to marry me but I'm afraid it won't get better. In all other aspects, he is a nice guy who has been trying to work on his consideration of other people and has become more open-minded during our relationship. Any advice? Can he change? What can I do?", "summary": "Boyfriend loses his temper and yells and I wonder if there is something I can do to make it better. And if I should stay?"} {"id": "t3_17x6rs", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "My First (Kind of Silly) NSV", "post": "I have been working very hard to lose weight and have noticed my clothes fitting a lot looser and have even been fitting into \"skinny pants\" and what not for work. I honestly have not paid it much mind until this weekend. \n\nI had a date on Friday night and I wanted to look my best for a rather handsome dude... I went to put on my favorite little black dress - too big. I tried on a clingy top - too big. I tried on the once super tight pencil skirt - too big. Pretty much all my going-out and deal-closer clothing is too big now! It is a nice problem to have I guess?", "summary": "my weight loss prevented me from being able to dress like a hoochie on date night and I instead had to wear something classy."} {"id": "t3_2cv05s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (F20) have been sleeping with a friend (M21) for a month and don't know how to ask him where we stand", "post": "we've known each other for 3 years, became friends about a year ago. i've always liked him and have always made it pretty obvious that i liked him, but he's had a girlfriend for most of the time that i've known him. a few months ago we started talking every day, and eventually i started going over to his house once or twice a week and spending the night without anything sexual happening other than cuddling.\n\none night we hooked up, i told him i didn't want to sleep with him. the next time i was over we had sex, and after that the texts stopped. i figured he wanted it to be a one time thing, so i let it be and gave him some space. we remained friendly and since we work together we still hung out together frequently with our group of friends. just when i thought everything had worked itself out, we had sex again a week ago and now i don't know what to think. another detail that may be important is that i was a virgin before him and he knew this.\n\ni guess what i'm stuck on is how to ask him what the fuck is going on without sounding like a lunatic or making things weird at work, since he's pretty reserved when it comes to things like that and seems to have a hard time expressing his feelings, if he has any for me. it used to be that i could text him any time about anything, and lately i haven't texted him in days because i get the feeling he doesn't want to hear from me.", "summary": "my dumb friend took my virginity and is giving me mixed signals. asking him how he feels about me is as delicate as open heart surgery - how to i word it?"} {"id": "t3_36p8bu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] with my BF [21 M] of two years, I have a really HL and he only sometimes does", "post": "Ever since I was young I have always been really sexual. When I finally started having sex it became all I wanted to do. The problem is that I have issues dealing with not having it.\n\nFor example, if I meet up with my BF and we don't have sex as soon as possible, I find it hard to concentrate on what we are doing. I try to focus but my BF senses it, and then we usually have some sort of argument. I don't want to pressure him into having sex which is what it feels like he feels I'm doing when I'm not all there. \n\nMy BF just isn't in the mood sometimes, and I get that but it doesn't really make it any easier. Especially when he'll say things like \"I jacked off before I came to see you so I'm not in the mood\". That just leaves me thinking he should've thought about my needs, but I don't know how to really talk about this since I don't want to tell him what to do with his body. \n\nI love him, and I don't see him just as a sex object. It's just so much easier to do things with him if I get my fix. He's so incredible and I feel so connected with him when we have sex. \n\nHow can I talk to him about what I'm feeling without crossing boundaries, and what can I do to get over this need for sex in order to concentrate? I hate that we argue about this because we don't argue about anything else.", "summary": "When I don't have sex I find it hard to enjoy anything, I don't want to be like this because I don't want my BF to feel pressured into anything."} {"id": "t3_k9myx", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "Update on my kitty, Attu.", "post": "So earlier today, my big boy Attu has a nasty run in with a beading needle. Beading needles are long (at least two inches) and super sharp. I immediately took him to the vet because I was terrified that it was lodged inside of him. They took two x-rays and said there was no swallowed needle.\n\nHere's the deal folks. My cat is usually SUPER friendly and sociable. He greets me at the door when I come home. He asks for noms when his dish is empty. He talks back to me when I ask him questions. Attu has done none of that today. All he's done since I've brought him home is crouch in corners and hide. My cat NEVER does this.\n\nWhat he has been doing: a worrisome amount of drooling, licking his lips, hacking. He seems unsteady on his feet. Seems to have a hard time getting comfortable. Generally appears to be in alot of pain...keeps his body and tail very low. Will not come when called (he always comes running!). \n\nOf course I am going to call the vet tomorrow. I was just wondering...do you think there is any possibility that the vet might have missed the needle? I haven't found it yet and I have this nagging feeling it's lodged in his throat or the roof of his mouth. \n\nI know there would be some pain from getting stabbed from a big ass needle...but I would have hoped he would have perked up by now...it's already been 12 hours. \n\nPlease give me any advice.", "summary": "My cat is not acting normally after an incident with a needle. Scared that the needle might be stuck in his throat even though a vet x-rayed him. pls2advise."} {"id": "t3_4ap1h2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20/F] got to know this guy [22/M] online and we really hit it off. Now that I found him on facebook, there's a problem. What do I do?", "post": "Throwaway account because he's on Reddit and knows my actual Reddit name. Okay, so, we actually met on Reddit and decided to become \"pen pals\" through email. \nWe have been talking for a few weeks now, and it's amazing. Our emails are always insanely long, we never run out of things to talk about. Our personalities are incredibly similar and compatible. He's very sweet and incredibly smart. Our opinions on everything (especially relationships) really match. \nWe are both single, and considering each other as potential partner in the future (not any time super soon, it's too early). \n\nProblem is. PLEASE don't think me shallow. We have yet to see what one another looks like. We only know each other's first names. I couldn't stand the mystery, so I actually took his email that he uses, and searched the email on Facebook. There is his first name. And him. And I am not attracted to him at all, whatsoever. Physical attraction is so important in a relationship to me, and I'm incredibly bummed that I do not at all find him attractive. \n\nWhat do I do? I don't want to lead him on, and he doesn't know that I searched him through his email. We haven't talked about any serious relationship together in the future yet, so I was thinking about continuing talking to him until the subject comes up. \n\nIs there any way at all it could be NOT him? He's incredibly attractive to me in every other part, except for physical. It's awful.", "summary": "started talking to a guy I met on here. We click wonderfully. He's incredibly attractive to me in every other part, except for physical. Don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_kts1r", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Help me decide on my next adventure", "post": "Alright, Reddit here's the deal, I have rashly decided I want to move. To be honest, I'm a bit of a ramblin' man anyway so people who know me well won't be surprised really. But, the kicker is I'm not sure where I want to go. So, I'm hoping US redditors will try to sell me on their town and help me come to a decision. There are a few caveats though, 1) I've already lived in a fairly extensive list of U.S. cities for 6+ mos and don't feel the need for an encore anywhere. I'm currently in Seattle, just came from the east coast bout 8 mos ago where I was for a couple years splitting my time between DC, Baltimore, NYC, and Philly pretty evenly (had an awesome job that allowed for this but company folded) so those are out too. Went to college in Chicago and Mpls for a couple years each so not super interested in them either. Also, there are some financial restrictions, I'll have about 5k or so to tide me over until I find gainful employment where ever it is I end up so cities with really high cost of living might not make the cut (looking for somewhere I can rent for around $500 a mo without living in the ultra ghetto). Moving date is Dec 1, so Reddit sell me. Sorry about the throwaway but there are some people on Reddit I'm not ready to tell that I'm outta here.", "summary": "Ready to do some rambling (move to new U.S. city), want Reddit to decide where I end up."} {"id": "t3_1huejx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by getting a friend fired from work. At least it was due to her own actions, but still.", "post": "I work at a chain restaurant and lately we have had a lot of \"coupon fraud.\" Basically, this means servers steal stacks of coupons or print them from their computer under false emails (or snatch them out of local newspapers but this is more rare) and add them to all their cash checks. Since they are their \"own bank\" and don't pay the restaurant until the end of the night, those coupons that were never really used when someone gives them cash and says keep the change end up being an extra five, ten, whatever dollars in their pocket... sometimes costing us hundreds and hundreds of dollars in losses, impacting manager salaries and bonuses, and also impacting even other hourly employees who are on the upper end of the ladder trying to move up.\n\nI found out this mass coupon fraud was going on, and I \"checked in\" a friend to her shift. Not super close, but I've been to her house and drank after work and never had any problems with her. She seemed like a pretty cool chick. I had suggested we search all of the servers' books for coupons, so I was searching them all. I flipped hers open when she set it down when she walked in, and unfortunately, there was a stack of coupons in there... Which should be impossible as all coupons actually used are to be turned in at the end of the night, and any that are found are to be turned in and destroyed immediately. Basically, if you have a big stack like that, it means you are planning to steal.\n\nThere were so many witnesses that I couldn't have covered for her even if I wished to do so. Another girl got shooed out the door, and as a 'key holder' type position, I cannot show any preferential treatment, especially if I am to be moved into management like I plan.\n\nI honestly had no idea she was one of the people stealing. She was suspended for a few days and fired today. I don't know if she will be able to even keep her apartment after this, and that's a pretty shitty feeling to know that you did to a cool person, even if they did make the choice themselves.", "summary": "Got a cool chick I had no problems with fired because she was profiting from coupon fraud. Feels bad, man."} {"id": "t3_30wo0r", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Boyfriend [19/m] is very active, I [20/f] am not... Starting to bother me.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have never had to fight because everything can be handled rationally, but I don't know how to bring this up, because I know that it's irrational, but it's how I feel! He goes to the gym with his best friends almost every day. He's improving a lot, has a six-pack and can now bench his own body weight, while I have definitely gained my freshman 15 and lost the curve in my hips I was always so proud of (and he used to tell me he loved all the time). He isn't superficial at all though, despite his fitness, he just loves being active, whereas I am not athletically inclined whatsoever. I normally just maintain my bodyweight pretty well, but lately I have been so busy the last thing I want to do with my free time is work out.\n\nThe problem is, instead of lying and saying I haven't gained weight, he says \"It's no big deal\" and \"It's just because of the crappy food at school\". I tell him I haven't been the gym lately and he says \"I love you anyways, you'll get back to it when you have time\". He's completely right, and I know he's trying to be supportive, but it doesn't make a girl feel sexy to know her boyfriend acknowledges the weight but \"doesn't mind\". He still pays attention, still wants me physically, still loves me, and yet all I can think about is how he said I should just get back to the gym when I said I hated my flabbiness, which was good advice, so I know I shouldn't be hurt by it but I am!", "summary": "Boyfriend says he doesn't mind that I've gained weight instead of lying about noticing it - I know my feelings shouldn't be hurt but they are"} {"id": "t3_2n1oov", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my [24 F] 3 years on and off relationship", "post": "My girlfriend and I don't really know what to do. We've been together for a while, and are in love. At the beginning, I wasn't ready for a relationship, and I told her I might be interested in other girls. It wasn't really an open relationship, but I didn't say I was ready to commit, and we talked about that. There was an agreement to tell each other if we ever did anything with anyone else.\n\nI didn't act on that urge I had, until she put pressure on me to be with her. The next few months I kept hooking up with people, and I was insecure, and her and I kept going back and forth.\n\nEventually I felt ready, and things started going better. But I made a few little mistakes, one of which, was kissing someone else. I had gotten used to doing that, before, and I was afraid of being committed, because my heart had been broken so hard in past relationships.\n\nWhen I committed, she didn't trust me, but we stayed together, and a couple times, she acted out because she thought things were too good to be true, thought I was lying, and wanted to experience other guys, but only really wants to love me.\n\nWe got in a fight, and decided to break up, but started getting along, but there's not much trust there, from either of us. We know that we really care about each other, and we want to somehow end up together.\n\nWhat should we do?", "summary": "Been with my gf (I don't know what we are) for a while, and we broke up, because we realized some problems, mostly trust, but don't know how to fix them so that we can be together."} {"id": "t3_1oaed5", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[23/m] Attached when I shouldn't have been, and now she [23/f] has a boyfriend. She wants to stay friends. How to move on without affecting her?", "post": "I broke up with a long-term girlfriend shortly before she left overseas so that we could get some matured perspective on our relationship and future together. \n\nSkip ahead 18 months -- We very frequently kept in contact all the while that she was abroad, and she was always vocal about her affection towards me. I never had any desire to make a move towards any other women while she was gone, and I felt that I had personally gotten the perspective on our relationship that I had initially been looking for. \n\nBut now she's picked up a boyfriend abroad, and naturally there's some disconnection between us. \n\nAnyway, I'm looking to move on with my life, but she still wants us to remain close friends.\n\nI don't think it's fair that she ought to be punished for starting a relationship with somebody else, considering she was single, so I feel guilty about completely cutting communication from her -- but I personally don't want to video call her anymore like she wants, for the sake of my own feelings and attachment. \n\nHow best to move on without implicating her? \n\nFWIW: \n\n* Her and her new boyfriend don't share citizenship of each other's home countries. They'll either need to get married after ~4 months together, or live out the rest of their relationship long-distance. \n\n* I'm abroad in a separate country all together, and won't be returning home for another 12 months; giving the decision to cut all contact some extra weight.", "summary": "Cut all communication from a close friend for 12 months at least, because she's moved on and I still have feelings for her?"} {"id": "t3_w6hgd", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Alright, Reddit. What's a job on the Internet my disabled aunt can do for income?", "post": "Long story short, my aunt has never worked a real day in her life and is the black sheep of our family. She has a bad case of scoliosis she got when she was 18 which resulted in multiple surgeries and the insertion of a steel rod into her back. She can't really do anything physical and she was married to my (non-blood) uncle up until about 14 years ago.\n\nAs a result, she doesn't work and has little-to-no experience. She has been living off my 84-year-old grandmother for years now and has basically drained her completely financially. She is a vegetarian and demands on organic food and expensive makeup and all kinds of pretentious bullshit. The entire family hates her for this.\n\nMy grandmother, god bless her, isn't going to be around forever and when she's gone, the jig is up. My grandmother pays for her rent, utilities, car, gas - EVERYTHING. \n\nAnd quite frankly, I've had enough.\n\nSo my question to you is this: what can my aunt do to make money on the Internet? This is not some kind of complicated launch a website and write everyday kind of thing - she just won't do it out of laziness. I am thinking something along the lines of ChaCha or even Amazon's Mechanical Turk. Basically, I want her to start bringing in SOME kind of income so that she is not living entirely off my grandmother. It will help relieve tensions in the family and will put less of a financial strain on my grandmother.\n\nSo, what do you have in mind, Reddit?", "summary": "Aunt is a deadbeat, leeches of grandmother. Need an internet-based job for her like Mechanical Turk, ChaCha, etc. for some form of income."} {"id": "t3_25cthm", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "Something to keep in mind about Trenitalia rail.", "post": "Self service tickets bought from the Trenitalia website can only be picked up at self service kiosks WITHIN ITALY. So be careful.\n\nMy story:\n\nI bought tickets to go from Spiez, Switzerland to Rome via Milan from Trenitalia. Then I found out I can only retrieve the first half of the ticket (Spiez to Milan) from self service kiosks in Italian train stations....as in, you have to be IN Italy to pick up the tickets. They were \"SMART\" tickets, the cheapest ones they offered, and labeled as self service. They won't mail them, you can't print them out, and you can't pick them up in the country you're starting your train trip from. The second half, Milan to Rome, was a print out ticket so I had no problem getting that one.\n\nI had to contact the concierge at the hotel I'll be staying at in Rome (Boscolo Palace Roma) and ask THEM to go pick up the tickets from the train station and mail them to where I'll be staying in Switzerland. Luckily I have over a month until I'll be there or I would have to pay $156 to re-purchase the tickets from Swiss Rail. And luckily the concierge at this hotel are absolute SAINTS. As well as Denise at Chalet Fontana, who is nice enough to let me have the tickets sent to her to hold onto until we get to the chalet.\n\nI even had a nice redditor on standby to receive the tickets if I could have had them mailed to her, but Trenitalia informed me no, they won't mail them.", "summary": "Check and double check train company policies on train trips involving more than one country and make sure you understand what the policies for each TYPE of train ticket are."} {"id": "t3_2mutja", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 F] broken up with boyfriend of two+ years. How do I fall out of love/ get over him?", "post": "I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago. A few days later I decided I'd made a mistake and tried to get him back but after a solid bit of candid discussion, we finally decided (about an hour ago) that we both needed to move on. Although we'll probably remain friends. \n\nThis guy was my first everything: first love, first date, first kiss, first sex...I was preoccupied with the idea of him to varying degrees for most of the last three years, I really did love him...in a \"do anything to make you happy\", \"always put myself last\" kind of way that was, in retrospect, a bit naive. But in any event, he had a huge (I mean HUGE) impact on me as I transitioned into adulthood and not surprisingly, EVERYTHING reminds me of him now.\n\nI'm naturally a VERY loyal person and with me love is really pretty permanent. I don't become disillusioned with old friends once we grow apart... I always cling on to my positive feelings for them. Which generally seems like a good trait. Except that now I have to figure out how to stop loving someone that I'm MADLY in love with, because I know if I don't I'll wind up sabotaging future possibilities/ relationships for both myself and my ex. \n\nI've heard all the basic break up advice: \"Work on yourself! Go to the gym! Do stuff you love! Socialize! Blah blah blahbittly blah...\"\nBut that stuff doesn't seem like it would help me to get over him. Not really. Not well enough that I could go on to see him as a strictly platonic friend. So my question for you, oh relationship gods of reddit: How do you fall out of love with your ex??", "summary": "Broke up after years of being very close to a guy who was my first everything... how the heck am I supposed to stop loving him so that I can start seeing him as a platonic friend and move on?"} {"id": "t3_eut9a", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Rather odd tax question concerning dependents", "post": "This year, I remarried and the woman I am married to has a son. He lives with us and I treat and support him as if he was my own son. I have also been supporting him financially for more than 6 months out of the year and know that I am allowed to claim him as a dependent. My wife and her son are both from the philippines and not yet U.S. Citizens. Haven't even filed the adjustment yet (doing it this month) to have them changed to permanent residents.\n\nAnyway, the thing I'm wondering is if that $1000 business applies in this situation. I'm also not sure how that benefit works. I have a daughter from a previous marriage and I know the first year I had her, it seemed like when I added her in TurboTax, $1000 was immediately added on to the amount of my return.\n\nIs that how this is supposed to work or is it supposed to be a $1000 credit against the amount I am being taxed on? Do you get this benefit every year? Do you get it for each child? Does it apply to me with my new step-son even though there has been no legal adoption or anything?", "summary": "Remarried and have a step son that I haven't legally adopted, but have supported for more than half the year. Does the tax credit/benefit for children apply to me?"} {"id": "t3_3xo2oy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (36M) dad (64M) is going to have a horrible Christmas. How do I improve it without him thinking I feel sorry for him?", "post": "My dad is in the ends of his second marriage. His current wife dislikes my sisters, myself and our families. I live in Washington. He lives in Chicago. My sisters (both live in Chicago) told me about the family Christmas party that was held tonight. \nThey told me he just sat behind the bar of my uncles house (not drinking) and not talking to anyone. My dad is usually the life of the party. He's miserable. BUT I have a solution. \n\nHe could come out here for Christmas. I have 3 young kids he doesn't get to see that much. He'd get to watch them open presents. We'd go skiing. I've already taken the week off of work. It would be perfect! And fun!\n\nBut how do I get him out here without making him think I feel sorry about him. (Or really making him think that I know what's going on even though I do.) \n\nHe's a proud guy....", "summary": "dad is in the throes of the ends of his second marriage. Help me get him to come out here and smile instead."} {"id": "t3_3cxu07", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Male with significant past trauma struggling to show interested in women physically", "post": "Hey /r/AskWomen so I am a 27 year old male and I am struggling with the Physical aspects of letting a women know I am interested in her, including body language.\n\nWhen I was between 4-12 I was significantly abused by an immediate family member to the point that I was removed from the house by social services. Since then I have been through a lot of therapy and three successful long term relationships. However, because of the abuse physical contact in a relationship comes very slow to me. I have to build trust with the girl to feel comfortable touching her or having her touch me. This includes kissing and sometimes even hugging can be a little awkward with me. Once I have been dating the girl for a couple month (2-5) I am able to be physical in all aspects and I am very comfortable with only a few hiccups. \n\nThe problem really comes through when I meet a girl I am interested and we just start dating. I have a hard time showing the girl I am interested in them. Several time over the years I have had women come back to me and say \"What happened between us? I really liked you and I thought you liked me to but you never did anything?\" They usually elaborate saying they knew I was interested in them because I would always want to spend time with them and I was checking them out, but then I would never make a move and eventually they thought I just wanted to be friends and they would move on.\n\nMy question is what tips or strategies do you have to help me in the \"getting to know you stage\" show a girl I'm interested in them for sure, without disclosing too fast all the trauma I experienced as a child. The three relationships I managed to have the girl sought me and I did not have to do much work. Most women I encounter (sorry for generalization) seem to expect me to make the first moves.", "summary": "History of significant Trauma, Struggle to show a girl physically I am interested in them when first dating or meeting them."} {"id": "t3_21mfop", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "I'm poor and need a car, my old car is unrepairable, and I think I was swindled. Please help", "post": "To start, my car has about 180k miles on it. One day it started stalling because it couldn't idle. I took it to a local mechanic who told me I needed a new exhaust system installed for $1,500. He also ran a compression test and told me the motor was great. I paid him and it did not fix the problem, the car still stalled.\n\nI took the car to a different mechanic. They deduced that the problem was in fact the motor, and that I would basically need another motor, which would be another $2,000 that I could not afford. They discovered this using a compression test as well.\n\nSo, I'm asking for advice about what I should do. I need a car, but have about 2k total left to my name, and my income is not good, and student loans. Do I have options to actually sue the first mechanic?\n\nOtherwise, of the $1,500 I paid, $900 was for the exhaust part. Is there any way I can make this money back? Does anyone know of any resources to help me sell parts of my car that I could put towards getting another one? Thank you.", "summary": "I dumped a lot of money into a car that is not fixable and need help making some of the money back."} {"id": "t3_3kcr6w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17/M] sort of friendzoned this girl [16/F] and need some help remedying the situation", "post": "So here's the situation:\n\nLast spring, my crush (at the time)'s best friend gave me her number. We chatted about school and life, but never expressed any feelings for one another, although did talk about past relationships. She was aware that I had a crush on her best friend, and was actually cool enough to help me out with her. I never did ask the my then-crush out though, mostly just because I was too nervous.\n\nFast forward to this fall, and the situation is still the same. This girl and I chat often, and she's trying to help me out with my crush. However, as the school year goes on, I realize that I don't really like my crush anymore - I begin to see that she is shallow and somewhat unkind. On the other hand, I realize that I have feelings for this girl that I've been talking to since last spring about another girl.\n\nHow do I turn this situation around? This girl still thinks that I'm infatuated with her best friend, and I haven't given any indication of anything else to her. We've talked about all sorts of personal stuff, and I just feel weird turning to a person with whom one of the primary focuses of our relationship was setting me up with someone else. After that, will she feel that she's only an afterthought to another attraction? She probably thinks that I see her as just a friend and feels that I'm just a friend to her too. How do I tell her how I feel?", "summary": "I now like this girl who thinks of me as a friend and tried to hook me up with her friend after months of just friendship, and want to turn the situation around."} {"id": "t3_3ppgf8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 F] feel like i dont deserve my boyfriend [21 M] of 4 months. I am a nymphomaniac with depression and anxiety.", "post": "I have never cheated on my boyfriend and never would (for the people who judge nymphos). My SO has depression and anxiety as well and recently hes been having break downs. But i dont know how to deal with this because im not well myself. I love him so much and feel so guilty when i imagine myself free and single as a nymphomaniac. Its not because im not happy with him its because im struggling to be well in regards to depression and it sets off my feelings of self loathing. Has anyone got any tips on how they help thier depression in relationships?", "summary": "feel guilty for being a nympho. Found the man i want to spend the rest of my life with but im suffering with depression"} {"id": "t3_2rwhcv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] with boyfriend [22M] 9 months, am I wrong to be upset?", "post": "Sorry if this sounds pathetic, I just wanted a bit of perspective before I overreact and cause an argument.\n\nBasically, for the past 5 months I have lived around an hour away from my boyfriend (before that we were living in the same city). We see each other every weekend, with me traveling down to see him more often than the other way round. I'm fine with this, he lives in a nicer city and I get to visit friends.\n\nHe is in a band and has been since a year or so before we got together, it makes him really happy and that's cool. They often play gigs and I'll normally go along and watch. \n\nFor my 21st birthday, my parents said they will pay for me and him to go on holiday (this was in October). I've been waiting for him to give me dates that we can go, hopefully around March time, so I can book it and get time off work. He has come up with tonnes of dates that he is doing band stuff and still no solid date that we can go anywhere. I also asked if we could put a bit of extra money towards what my parents offered so we could go somewhere nicer, and he said he can't afford it which is fine.\n\nThis brings me to my problem: he just dropped it on me that he is going to be paying \u00a3600 to record some songs with his band in March time. I'm pretty upset by this, as it seems that the band is clearly his priority and that he can't be bothered with this holiday. The only other issue I've really had is that he didn't get me a birthday present and I know that I can be difficult to choose things for and he didn't have much money at the time so I let it go.\n\nAm I wrong to be upset? I don't want him to stop being in a band because it makes him really happy and I enjoy going to see them play, but it seems a bit worrying that he can drop this much money on something when he 'has no money' etc.\n\nSorry for the tonne of text!", "summary": "boyfriend said he has no extra money to put towards a holiday that my parents are paying for, but has just announced that he is spending \u00a3600 on recording for his band. Should I be upset?"} {"id": "t3_287zfa", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My[25F] SO is going to be gone again after being way for 5 weeks.", "post": "I[25M] have been seeing my SO[25F] for about 2 years now. She recently got a job where she works off-shore for 5 weeks and gets 5 weeks off. We were both excited that she will be back for 5 weeks as of Tuesday this week. She recently texts me that she will be going back home to her parents place(6 hours away) to work for them for a bit ASAP as of Thursday of same week. That means she will be gone again for at least a month I'm assuming. Then before you know she will be off-shore again.\n\nMy questions is: How is this fair to me? I'm not really the type to wait around for people. In the past - if a girl was going away for more than a month I would break it off with them on good terms and tell them it just didn't work maybe another place, another time. This one is 'kinda' special, but this just seems like we won't be seeing each other for a very long time and I just can't. I don't want to waste my summer like this waiting for her. Should I bring this up to her?", "summary": "she was just off-shore for 5 weeks, now she's going to be gone working for her parents for another month+. If she really cared about this relationship wouldn't she make some effort to spend time on it? I dunno.."} {"id": "t3_2zxvn5", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Girlfriend (19F) broke up with me (22M) of 1.5 years last Sunday after a heated argument. Still talk a lot and not much has changed other then not seeing each other.", "post": "We started talking the day of again that night, but she still wants to talk to me and doesn't want to lose me. She states she needs time and doesn't know how long it will be but just needs a friend right now and too take time. I graduate in May and I believe that may be the time she is aiming for because that will take the long distance strain from us when I move back home. I know that may not be that long but just this week is killing me. \n\nTo add more we talk as if we are still together; love you, babe, gorgeous etc. Also she really likes to talk about our future and things we want to do together. Also I brought up a movie that comes out next month she wants to see and said she would see it with me. Then other times she gets upset and states that I am pushing her and not giving her the time she needs. She does not like too hear serious talk and says she wants a friend to talk to, but on the other hand we talk about things that friends wouldn't talk about. Its just hard for me to talk this way and her say she misses me and then not want to. \n\nI stupidly asked if I could come see her today and she got upset again saying I was pushing so fast, but its hard not to think its ok by the way we talk. \n\nAlso I know she hasn't found someone else or trying to find someone else, I trust her on that and I know how she is. I would just really know if someone could give me a inside look of what may be going on and what time of time frame she is looking at. \n\nPLEASE ADVISE", "summary": "Girlfriend broke things off, still wants to talk a lot but doesn't want to get back together right now. Overall really confusing for me."} {"id": "t3_pcyf6", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Ex and 'Friend'", "post": "Hi guys!\n\nSo I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years about a month ago. The main reason was that I was going studying abroad and she wasn't supportive of me at all. Also we wouldn't see each other for a year at least as she was going travelling too. Basically she made me feel crappy for taking this study opportunity and as we are both quite young (21) I thought we could do with some time apart. We left it on ok terms and decided maybe after some time we could get back in contact/be friends.\n\nAnyway her 21st birthday was at the weekend and my best friend was at the party (Mutual friends). He told me that another mutual friend who I've known for about 7 years hooked up with my ex.\n\nNow I was trying accepting the fact that we would be moving on and meeting other people but I never expected this! I knew she would be getting with other guys but I never thought it would be my friend!\n\nI basically emailed them and told them that I thought the 2 of them would have had a bit more respect for me and a bit more class. I also told them I wanted to completely cut contact.\n\nSo guys I have 2 questions:\n\n1) Did I over react? I mean technically they are both single and can do what they want. Personally though I would never get with a friends ex just out of respect. I mean if I got with any of her friends I would feel awful and probably be ostracised by our mutual friends! Double standards?\n\n2) How do I get over this and move on as quick as possible?\n\nThanks guys", "summary": "Broke up with girlfriend of 4 years about a month ago and she hooked up with my friend of 7 years at the weekend. Don't know how to feel."} {"id": "t3_l4jts", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "How do I start getting used to the idea of solo travel?", "post": "I'm a (female, American) college student who hasn't had any experience doing solo travel and I want to start figuring out where to start. I live in the northeastern US so while there are a ton of options for weekend trips around here (NYC, Montreal, Boston, and Niagara Falls jump to mind) I'm not sure where to start. I don't have a ton of money right now (hooray college!) and I have school and work during the week so I'm limited with budget stuff and scheduling right now, but that's okay because I'm honestly too scared to just go somewhere really far away for a week or whatever right now. I have traveled before (been to Europe a couple of times and spent time in China last winter as well as been to various places in the US and eastern Canada) but I was always with family or a big group so I never had to do any of the planning. I also have diabetes which makes travel a little difficult because I have to plan in advance so that I can take enough medical supplies with me (so I'm not trying to get into any sort of nomadic lifestyle). Does anyone have any tips on where I should begin? Articles to read? Websites to check out? Personal stories to share?", "summary": "How did you start getting into solo travel? How do you plan it? Do you have any advice for a sheltered American college student?"} {"id": "t3_1vu836", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I made a huge mistake and I lost a friend", "post": "I met a girl at school and we quickly became friends because we had a lot of similarities. She had a boyfriend at that time so I wasn't trying to start anything, but I remained friends with her.\n\nOne day she told me that she wanted me to meet her boyfriend but he was in college so she said she will show me his photos on Facebook(I don't have Facebook). She lost her phone a few weeks prior so she asked me if she could take my phone and log into her Facebook. I obliged. She isn't very good with tech stuff so she forgot to log out. I forgot about it too.\n\nLater that night I got a Facebook notification on my phone then I remembered that she forgot to log out from her Facebook. I did not think too much about it and simply logged out.\nHere is where I fucked up. I got the sudden urge to check her Facebook again and maybe snoop around a bit. Fucked up, I know. So I asked her for her password and said that the app that I use asks for password when logging out(remember she isn't very tech savvy). She happily gave it to me. Man, I feel so bad. I checked her Facebook now and then for a week. Then one day I couldn't log in. In school she accused me of changing the password. But I said I didn't changed it. This was the right time to tell her the truth but I didnt. Few days later she tells me that she talked to her boyfriend and he thinks I changed the password. Now she won't talk to me. \nI know this is 100% my fault and regret it. But I can't do anything but take the blame of changing her password. The thing is I am too much of a pussy to tell her the truth that I used her Facebook. I am graduating in a few weeks and I may never see her again. But the guilt is killing me.", "summary": "Misused a friend's Facebook. Someone changed her password and she thinks I did it. I am too pussy to admit that I misused her account. She won't talk to me."} {"id": "t3_lwz8w", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Went on a date yesterday and felt guilty the whole time.", "post": "My boyfriend broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. It's been a hard time but I'm starting to feel myself again. I am still in contact with him, but we are keeping it friendly and platonic. \n\nLast week, I met a really great guy and we got to talking. We got along instantly, and he asked me out. Last night he made me dinner, things were going great, but then he kissed me. I felt so overcome with guilt and sadness.\n\nI know I'm not in a relationship with my ex anymore, but it felt as though I was cheating. I might (don't yell at me for this) be holding on to a tiny bit of hope that me and my ex will get back together eventually.\n\nIs it too soon to be dating? Should I stop seeing this new guy even though he's amazing? I'm most definitely not over my ex yet. Do I have to tell him about this new guy? I really don't want to hurt anybody. \n\nVery confused!!", "summary": "Ex dumped me three weeks ago, I went on a date with a new, really great guy and felt completely guilty the whole time!"} {"id": "t3_17lhut", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20]M and her 20[F] had a talk and \"removed labels\" from our relationship. She is curious what being single is like; I am heartbroken", "post": "We have been going out for 4 months, moved pretty fast. I am deeply in love with her and she is in love with me. I have treated her like a princess and she has returned the favors. The sex is amazing and passionate, our personalities just \"click\". Last night we both just sat and cried though because something felt wrong- she felt like she couldn't reciprocate the good deeds I did for her and said things like \"I am too good for her\" and \"I need time\".\n\nShe previously has said to me that I am her whole world, that I am all she thinks about, and that we are the best part of eachothers day. This has come as a complete shock to me and I have no idea what to do. We are officially not boyfriend/girlfriend but the status is strange- I know she needs space but I texted her a little bit too much today and kind of seemed crazy (which I am not crazy, I am just hurt).\n\nWhat should I do? I know I can salvage this; I just don't know what to say. Do I just say nothing and give her complete space? Give her a few days? Did I already ruin it by sending her so many texts today? I asked to come talk to her again today and she said she \"just can't see me\". What is this? I can't think of a situation where I wouldn't be able to see her unless she like did something to really piss me off like cheat on me or something.", "summary": "M and F [20] perfect for eachother, great relationship, but out of nowhere it just ended and we are both lost and confused. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_32zskx", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How can I [23F] avoid getting snappy at my tech-challenged mother [62F]?", "post": "My mother is tech challenged, and it gets on my nerves. The thing is that she worked on computers for years (using a very specific software that ran on Windows XP [or older] computers), but now she seems almost afraid to do anything new with them. She has a laptop she uses daily to look up recipes, do online banking (including managing her investment portfolio), and Skype family. But if she needs to do something new or remotely scary, she calls me up and asks for help (I've set up a remote desktop connection I can access from my phone or computer, so I can always see what she's seeing since she has a habit of reading the entirety of a window from top to bottom, and I get the gist better looking at it).\n\nI know part of the issue on my end is that I don't like being pulled out of something into another task. It can be as simple as a video game or studying for an exam, or as involved as a romantic anniversary trip with my partner. These calls need immediate or near-immediate (\"Honey, you know you can always call me back in 15-30 minutes if you need to finish doing something first!\") attention, and I'm pulled completely off my initial task.\n\nThen while helping her through it, I get easily exasperated because I'm two steps ahead of where she is in comprehending the situation. I know I need to have more patience, but I mostly want to get back to what I was doing and want to deal with the issue quickly. I know she wants to learn, and eventually does if the task is performed commonly enough (printing a document, for example), but she is still afraid of messing something up most of the time she calls me. For example, she can run a virus scan, but freaks out and asks what to do once it finishes, even if the report is clean. \n\nI don't know if I gave you enough info, so feel free to ask if you want more. Overall, I know its my issue, and it is taking a toll on my relationship with my mother because she feels bad for pestering me (I don't exactly hide my annoyance well).", "summary": "I get annoyed that my mom calls me for help while I'm in the middle of things and I want to be nicer to her about it."} {"id": "t3_520pcx", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Fear of my son's mother attempting to change custody due to my relationship status. TN", "post": "So I've just been awarded overnight visitation with my 6 year old son after his mother kept him away from me for two and a half years. We mediated earlier this year and we (my son and I) met twice a week for a couple hours a day to reestablish our relationship. To him it was like no time had passed, he grabbed my hand thay first day and said come on dad let's go play. I'm currently engaged to a woman that I was with before my son's mother decided to stop letting me see him. I'm afraid that now that he is staying overnight with me and I live with my fianc\u00e9e, the she is gonna attempt to take me back to court to take away what I just managed to get back. Can she do this? Would I lose my visitation again?", "summary": "just got visitation back with my son, wondering if mother can change the visitation order since I live with my fianc\u00e9e."} {"id": "t3_3u973j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 M] with my SO [24 F] of 4 years, she is a sloppy drunk", "post": "Admittedly, we both drink more than average. Almost every night, but only after work/school. I only drink beer, so I can usually have quite a few before I start to feel/show it. She drinks STRONG liquor drinks, almost straight liquor with a splash of mixer, or wine, so it doesn't take her very long to get there. She rips through drinks quickly, too. I've seen her polish off 1/3 handle of liquor in a few hours.\n\nWhen she is sober, she is shy and relatively quiet. When she's drinking, she interrupts and talks over everyone. She spills drinks all the time. She burns holes with cigarettes and gets ash everywhere except the ashtray or out the car window. She's always losing her belongings. Almost every time we go out, it ends with her barely being able to walk. I have to make her leave before either of us wants to because she falls or does something else to embarrass us. All of our friends, mine and hers, know this about her.\n\nI love her to pieces, we rarely fight, and we want to get married some day. We have a great relationship. But these things are starting to get annoying. I am afraid people are going to stop inviting us places. I often miss out on concerts/events because she gets too drunk too early and I have to \"watch\" her or get her out of there. She falls asleep on the couch almost every night because she doesn't know when to stop. She has even fallen asleep on the toilet a few times.\n\nI know I have to have a conversation with her about this, otherwise I'm enabling her and it's only going to get worse. The problem is, she is very insecure and I know she is going to hate herself and cry for days if I tell her these things. She asks me all the time if people like her or think she's annoying, and I always tell her what she wants to hear, so as to not upset her.", "summary": "GF is a sloppy drunk and doesn't know when to cut herself off. I worry it's starting to affect our relationship and social life. She's too insecure for me to tell her that she's embarrassing."} {"id": "t3_1jcwg4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21m) am having a hard time separating my desire for love and affection, with my desire for my ex-girlfriend and first love (20f).", "post": "I really don't know if this belongs here, but I'm having a hard time drawing a distinction between my ex-girlfriend and, love and affection. Being the first person to show these feelings towards me I have nothing else to go by, our relationship was riddled with holes and mistakes, and it's clear that it was never going to work, and I really don't want to be with her. But still I feel like I miss her, I feel like I need her, when really I miss love, and I need love. No matter how much I try and rationalise it in my mind, it still comes back to that. I quite literally know no different and have no other experiences to associate those feelings with.\n\nIt's really wrecking my confidence, as she's already found a new boyfriend, and they're much happier together (which I'm happy about, I don't hold any negative feelings towards them), but it's a damning reminder that there's no love, at least not the kind of love I seek.\n\nHas anyone got any advice on separating these feelings?", "summary": "Don't know the difference between love, and my relationship with my ex-girlfriend, I don't know what to do!"} {"id": "t3_3dpbfv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24F] am not interested in sex with my SO [24M] anymore after a fight.", "post": "A couple of weeks ago my SO failed to pull out during sex. While the withdrawal method is not as safe as other methods, being 4% effective over the course of a year with perfect use, it's our choice to make. It's worked for us for 6 years. To clarify before I go into the details, it wasn't an accident.\n\nEspecially in our case, withdrawal requires a good deal of trust. I was tied up, we're into bdsm. I didn't even know he'd came until 20 minutes after the fact. Someone was at the door, and he decided coming in me was easier than pulling out and cleaning up, by his own admission. He came, went to the door, came back, fooled around a bit more with me, and then admitted he came.\n\nHe is immensely turned on by threatening to do things I don't want done, or \"hard limits\". He frequently threatens these things during bdsm. We've had talks in the past about this, where we've communicated that the threats were idle, and he'd never actually do them. He's threatened to choke me, to take pictures, to come in me, all things on my \"hard limits\" list. But we both know it's all talk, and we play along. Until last week, where he crossed a limit.\n\nI was upset for a few days, and I got over it, sort of. Now I'm not angry, and I can still see us having a long relationship. But I don't want to have sex with him. We have had sex, but it was just normal sex and I was basically putting up with it. I can't really see myself doing bdsm stuff with him, and thinking about that actually makes me pretty angry.", "summary": "my boyfriend purposefully came in me out of convenience despite our using the withdraw method for years. It wasn't an accident and now I just don't feel like having sex with him and especially don't trust him with bdsm activities."} {"id": "t3_qkehi", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, I need some artistic/gamer help, I thought I'd ask everyone here.", "post": "So, I want another tattoo, and being a gamer nerd I want it to be awesome with game symbols. However I am artistically incapable of drawing or anything like that so I need some help, also I need more ideas on what to incorporate. For an idea on the size of the space we have for this tattoo it'd be from my right shoulder down to my right elbow(Minus the space on my right shoulder for my Mandalorian Mythosaur tattoo, I'd describe how much space but I can't think of how to word it). The idea for the tattoo though is to take some of my favorite symbols from the gaming universe and make them small and have them cover the space of my arm, granted this is a very rough idea it looks good in my mind.\nRight now my ideas for symbols are:\n\n* The faction symbols for Republic and Empire from SWTOR\n\n* Paragon and Renegade symbols from Mass Effect\n\n* The FoxHound symbol(The one used for Kojima productions, the lightning looking fox, not the shield)\n\n* I'd like a Saints Row symbol but I can't seem to find one I like\n\n* An Oddworld Abe's Oddysee or Exodus would be amazing\n\n* An Elder Scrolls symbol (Thinking the Tribunal symbol or the Oblivion rune)\n\nSo... Ideas Reddit?", "summary": "I need help finding gaming symbols for my next tattoo then I need help drawing it and making it artistically into a tattoo."} {"id": "t3_1hjpm5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(Update) How Can I[24M] get this girl [20F], and start dating her?", "post": "Original post: \n---\n\nSoooo I finally asked her out! This is what happened:\n9:30: Finally decide to do it, and decide to play some Eye of the Tiger and Black Skinhead to get me amped.\n9:31: Trim mustache, and do a shot of Mouth Wash.\n9:33: Leave and go into the hallway by her room, and decide it's time.\n9:43: Still in the hallway, and am thinking it's time to do it.\n9:53: Still in the hallway, and am thinking it's time to do it.\n10:00: Still in the hallway, and am thinking it's finally time.\n10:10: Finally go in and say \"Hey R, can we talk?\"\nR: Yeah, sure.\nMe: I'm just gonna say it, I really dig you. I think you're great. You're smart, and fantastic. Let's go out on a for real date?\" \nR: Maybe!... Can I think about it?\nMe: You sure can!\nR: Ok, well let me think about it.\nMe: Alright!\n\nWell that's it. What do you guys think? What should I do next? Also, I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've asked a girl out in person in years. So go me!", "summary": "Asked a girl I've been crushing on all summer long, and she said maybe. What do you guys think? What should I do next?"} {"id": "t3_1x8lgz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me, 32/f, bf 35, don't have sex. I need it. He won't give it.", "post": "Had a baby 10 months ago. Am in better shape than when I got pregnant. BF won't have sex with me anymore. I initiate and he turns me down. Says it's because he doesn't want to get me pregnant just yet. Got on BC and he still won't have sex with me. \n\nI'm in my sexual prime and need attention. I would leave him if we didn't have a baby together. I'm dying here tho. I need male attention and I'm not getting it from him. I came home early from work today and found him in his office masturbating to porn. I'm pissed because he isn't having sex with me, and is getting off to other girls. What do I do?", "summary": "BF doesn't have sex with me. Craving male attention but not ready to leave yet because we have baby together."} {"id": "t3_16p2xw", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "How soon after a break up do I [21M] tell my friend [21F] that I like her?", "post": "I have a friend that I've known for about 3 years now. Over those years I feel that we've become pretty close. Unfortunately, for all the time that I knew her. She was in a relationship with another guy. That changed recently when she told me that they finally broke up. Trust me when I say I was in shock. Now it's almost been a month since they \"officially\" broke up and it's the second semester. She tells me that she went on a date 2 days ago and was currently \"casually dating\". I'm not sure if its too soon to ask for a serious relationship this early from the breakup. Thoughts please?", "summary": "What are your thoughts on when I should tell a long time friend that I like them after she's had a break up?"} {"id": "t3_2c92yo", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Need advice about changing job", "post": "So I've been looking for a new job for awhile. This is mostly because **my current job is about as stable as a game of Jenga**. I'm a legal assistant at a tiny lawfirm and I get paid under the table **($900 biweekly) with no benefits**. The attorney is in trouble with the bankruptcy court for not keeping correct records, our client base has practically dried up, we are no longer allowed to file Chapter 13 Bankruptcies (which I've spent the better part of a year learning the ins and outs of) so I feel like I barely have anything to do now.\n\n**So I had an interview** last Saturday at a pretty nice Nissan dealership about 4 minutes from my new apartment (current job is about 45-60 minutes). It's for a sales job, which I've had a bad experience with as a Quill B2B door-to-door sales rep job. It pays pretty decent if not great money as the average for the dealership is about **$3,000.00 per month. It also has health insurance, vision, dental, and a 401k**. I'm only nervous because it isn't for sure what the pay is and my student loans will start in full force at the end of the year.\n\nMy uncle, who is a great salesman, thinks i'll be great at sales too because it apparently runs in our family. My Dad feels the same, but my girlfriend is on the fence about it, but she desperately wants me to get out of my current job because it's not a good place for me to be.\nI don't know what to do and need some advice from the outside. Sorry if this isn't the right place to post this, but last time I did I definitely felt tons better.", "summary": "Have a crappy clerical job but got a job offer for a sales job at a highly rated dealership and don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_k2kit", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I just got scammed out of $200 for a ticket but found the seller's contact info. What should I do??", "post": "Reddit,\n\nI just got cheated out of $200 and have some potentially helpful information. I am coming out from my lurking hole to request some SERIOUSLY needed help. Here's the story:\n\nI was looking for tickets to a sold out event on Craigslist. I responded to an add and, after a few email exchanges, I decided to meet up with the seller. I specifically asked her to bring verification because I wanted to avoid \"scammers\". (Oh the irony!)\n\nWhen we met in a public place, she had this believable story about giving the receipt to another previous buyer, in retrospect that should have been a HUGE red flag, but but for some reason I got sucked into such distracting conversation and impressive acting that I didn't look past the surface appearance of the ticket.\n\nHours later, upon discovering that I had been scammed, I tried to contact her pretending to be interested in purchasing another ticket, but that failed. Since I do not have a smart phone to read emails, she had been previously forced to call me before the meet-up, so I had her cell phone number. I paid $15 for a reverse look up, and was able to find an address for the phone under the name of whom I believe to be her mother and father.\n\nI know I should have inspected the ticket more, but something about our interaction seemed so authentic at the time. I am way too trusting of people and I feel like I am always getting screwed over by being a nice person. I'm done being nice. The concert is today and I am so upset. I want my money back and the satisfaction of her knowing how much she sucks.\n\nReddit, please help. What should/can I do??", "summary": "I got cheated out of $200 for a fake concert ticket. Doing a reverse look up of the girl's cell phone number I was able to find names (her mother and father?) and an address. What do I do??"} {"id": "t3_jpqva", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need advice about this girl I just met. . .", "post": "So back story, we knew each other and, we knew a little about each other through mutual friends. We meet and we get that indescribably immediate attraction effect. Then our group of friends go out that night we almost immediately separate from the group find a quite corner and talk for hours. The rest of the weekend progresses with the usual beginning relationship stuff including staying up til 5am discussing life, talking about family and our hopeful futures etc. \n\nHere's the issue she lives pretty far away, far enough that it would be a long distance relationship and neither of us want that but I have never felt this way about another person ever. I hate where I live and can do my job (Network Tech) in any city. I have been thinking of moving but can't decide where, is it crazy to move where she is and try to start something real and chose my new home for the proximity to her? Or am I just getting caught up here and getting ahead of my self?", "summary": "Met a girl, crazy about each other. Currently hate life in current town want to move closer to her. Good idea or am I thinking irrationally?"} {"id": "t3_3v8pgw", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by getting the shop I work in shut down", "post": "Tifu bu getting the shop I work at shut down and loosing the business minimum of \u00a320000 in sales.\n\nSo I fancied a day off work and as a joke told a friend that a rat had been spotted on the shop floor and for him to call environmental health and report it, the day carries on and o forget about it, I go to wall into work yesterday at 2pm to see people in white suits pulling the shelves apart, and it kicked in what had happened.\n\nWent into the back office to be told that the store was closing and most likely we will be sent home and paid for our normal shifts until the shop can be reopened, I started laughing and went into the store yard to chat to the other cashiers who worked the morning shift and had a laugh with them about the whole thing. Mo more than 10 minutes later the area manager walks in and decides that we would voluntarily close instead of it going to court so ive spent the last 14hours in store deep cleaning everything and clearing all the shelves, also I have to go into work at normal shift times to carry on cleaning, what a great idea that was.\n\nShould also point out a rat nest was found along with loads of rat droppings all around the shop", "summary": "wanted a day off work, friend called environmental health and now im going into work as normal to clean a few years build up of crap under shelving."} {"id": "t3_1odusp", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Need some advice on starting my first 'career' job and how to become good at what I do.", "post": "I'm 23 and have just finished uni. I'm hoping to do postgrad study in mental health nursing in the next few years, and have just taken a new job as a home care worker to get a foot on the ladder and get some relevant experience.\n\nI really want to do well at this job and make a good start in my post-university career. I've worked around my studies since I was 16, but it's especially important to me to be good at what I do now that I'm trying to establish a more permanent career path. I want the managers to know who I am and feel that I'm a valuable part of the team.\n\nI'd love to get some advice (especially from Redditors who are older than me or who have been in their full-time job for a few years) on how to stay focused and motivated, and integrate myself within the company.\n\nI'm a confident person but I also sometimes have a bit of trouble standing up for myself when it comes to authority figures. I was sexually harassed by a boss at a previous job a few years ago and felt too intimidated to speak up for myself. I dreaded going to work every day and it only ended because I left to go to university.\n\nI'm sure I could cope well in that situation now, but novel situations tend to throw me off and make me unsure of myself. I'm particularly concerned as in care work it's incredibly important that I don't step outside of my responsibilities as I'll be liable if anything bad happens.", "summary": "If anyone could give me any tips or pointers on starting my first 'real' job and establishing myself as a solid and competent member of my workforce, I'd really appreciate it.*"} {"id": "t3_4a968y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16M] with my girlfriend [16F] of 8 months is mad because we never hang out, when really it is all her fault.", "post": "Hello, and thank you in advance for reading.\n\nMy girlfriend and I love each other very much and we're very proud we've been in a relationship for so long.\n\nAs of late, however, she's been complaining that we don't see each other as much as we used to.\n\nWhich is absolutely true, we haven't. But really this isn't my fault for several reasons.\n\nThe first reason is where she lives. She used to live, literally, a 5 minutes walk away, but since her mom has been in a car accident, she has had to live at her grandmother's house. which is 30 minutes drive away.\n\nThe second reason is her inability to plan anything. She comes from a very spontaneous family where planning is considered silly, and they enjoy living a chaotic lifestyle. This is the polar opposite of my family. We are very ordered and structured. I always try to make plans with her, but she says things like \"My family doesn't plan things, I have no idea whether or not I'll be free that day\". \n\nThen, she'll just randomly say things like \"hey, want to go out and do something\" on days that I swear she told me she was busy, and then gets upset when I don't drop everything I'm doing and interrupt everyone else's plans. She doesn't understand why I can't just leave on the drop of a hat because she really doesn't understand the concept of planning.\n\nFinally, it's her schedule. I'm literally available 6 days out of 7. I'm only busy on SOME Tuesdays. Unlike her, who has something EVERY SINGLE Monday, Wednesday, Thurday, and Friday, and usually stuff on both days of the weekend as well. Then she complains that I'm \"never available\" when really what she means to say is \"never available when I want you to be available\".\n\nIt's very upsetting when she gets angry at me when really it isn't my fault at all. I take a lot of shit from her for it, and I'm always the one who ends up apologizing even though I did nothing wrong and really the fault is on her end.", "summary": "My girlfriend gets angry at me because we can't hang out too much anymore, and I take a lot of shit for it, yet the blame is on her end."} {"id": "t3_2njlhr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How often should I hang out with my gf and her kid/", "post": "I'm 28, she's 25, and he's 5. We've been an item for 6 months.\n\nSomeone mentioned that I am spending a lot of time with the kid too soon. I understand he has no dad and I don't mind helping. I just think I still want to get to know the gf, since we barely have our alone dates.\n\nI think we hang out 2-3 times with the kid and only one time at night with the gf which is usually Fri or Sat. Those nights aren't by ourselves either, they are with a group of our friends.\n\nI don't want to tell her that I don't want to hang out with her kid, which I like but sometimes the dates are a little dull when he comes along. I do not want to hurt her feelings.\n\nAlso I need to mention, that its hard for her to get a sitter so he comes along.\n\nthe thread i made", "summary": "i think i go out too much with the gf and her kid. how can I tell her it should be less without hurting her feelings."} {"id": "t3_54zgb5", "subreddit": "college", "title": "scholarship, fees and medical leave of absence?", "post": "Ive paid 2k for this semester and ive missed about a month's worth of classes due to severe anxiety. I'm going to defer a semester (this one) or take a medical leave of absence. The problem is im on scholarship. The total is 10k and i pay 5k total for 3 semesters but im paying sem by sem. What would happen to the $ i paid? Burn? I dont want to waste my parents' money. They said its okay and all that but still. Ive read through the handbooks and scholarshop t&c's. Most of the lecturers dont know shit so Theyre gonna meet up with my dad today & discuss that. I actually didnt want to get my parents involved and wanted to handle everything on my own but i guess this time its inevitable....im so proud of myself for taking matters into my own hands up till now!", "summary": "what would happen to the 2k i paid this 2nd semester when im on scholarship and the original pricing is 10k (i got 5k for all 3 semesters)"} {"id": "t3_1v338x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "When is an appropriate time to drop the \"I Love You\" bomb in a new relationship?", "post": "Okay so I [F/19] recently have started dating let's call him J [M/19]. J and I have a very long history. We were best friends for 4 years and didn't admit our long overdue feelings for each other until about a month ago. We have been officially dating for about two weeks now. Ive always loved J as a friend because hes hands down been the only person there for me through everything. But I'm now at the point where I'm totally and completely falling in love with him. We recently spent the past month just being completely and utterly into each other. The difference with this relationship as opposed to others is the fact that this boy already knows everything about me, and vice versa. The only thing we have to worry about is being together. I honestly believe I love this boy, but I don't know how to go about it without making things awkward, or saying it too soon. So redditors please help me; when is an appropriate time to say I love you?", "summary": "Been best friends for years, just recently started dating. I believe I am totally in love with him. When and how can I say it?"} {"id": "t3_1g8f3o", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Has anyone ever tried a diet like Soza (aka Bouari)?", "post": "I know it is better to diet/exercise naturally, and I've held that view for a long while, but a coworker of mine has done it for 2 months and dropped 30 lbs so I am starting to wonder if it is worth a try. \n\nI'm not sure if this subreddit welcomes this kind of topic, but I am not sure where else might be appropriate (If you can suggest somewhere please let me know!).\n\nI have been trying unsuccessfully to kick start my own weight loss naturally (I carefully watch what I eat but I don't exercise regularly) but I work very late and long hours every day, and have a lot of trouble finding the energy to get to the gym and get started. I know it sounds like an excuse, but my department is understaffed at the moment and I pour every bit of energy I have into my job during the day, and not much is left for anything else after. I think if I had something that would help me see even a small change it might help get the push I need to start exercising again and keep losing weight without having to rely completely on everything Soza recommends.\n\nI am going in tomorrow for a free consultation to get more info. All I know right now from my coworker is that it is a few hundred bucks (depending on what plan you chose) and they can give you supplements and possibly B12 shots, as well as review a food diary with you weekly and give food plan recommendations. I am a bit uneasy about shots and putting weird things in me, but I am conflicted because my coworker seems so happy and successful with it. \n\nSorry for being a bit verbose here. If you've read this far, thank you!", "summary": "Has anyone had success or failure with the Soza clinic? Have you had B12 shots? Would I be spending money on a yoyo diet plan that would have me pack the lbs back on after I stop paying?"} {"id": "t3_2tcmzs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my boyfriend [21M] Of 6 months and I am just totally mind boggled. Help.", "post": "Apologies if this is a bit of a shaky post but it's my first ever post in Reddit! Anyway, I've been in a relationship for six months and it's the first relationship I've been in that I feel respected in and that actually is healthy. I have had a past habit of picking men that like to cheat have been mentally and physically abusive which has knocked my confidence a bit. \n\nSo, my boyfriend always replies to my texts (it s a long distance relationship), he never hides anything and is one of the most intelligent people I've ever met and I feel incredibly lucky to have him in my life as he treats me so well.\n\nHowever, the problem is me. One minute I'm so happy and then the next I have a panic about the relationship and I question aspects of it and make up problems that in reality are non existent. I don't really understand why I feel so up and down about things and I don't know if it's normal to feel like this in a great relationship?! Any experiences of people or advice would be greatly appreciated!", "summary": "Had previously horrible relationships. Currently in a ration ship with a lovely man. I'm an over thinker that seems to create imaginary problems."} {"id": "t3_3nwosb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (23M) started dating a girl in an 'open relationship.' Unsure how to proceed.", "post": "Let me preface this by saying I have essentially zero dating experience, so I would like to see what others think of this situation.\n\nBackground: I have been dating this girl (22F) for about 1.5 months, having gone on about 6 dates in that time. I enjoy being with her, and I think she is incredibly pretty. I like her, and she has said that she really likes me as well. We have ended most dates with a kiss/makeout as we say goodnight, but nothing sexual.\n\nNow onto the confusing part. She told me recently that she is in an 'open relationship' with a guy she has been dating at the end of college (she just graduated in the spring). He cheated on her a lot, but rather than break up, they decided the easier thing was to enter an open relationship, meaning they get to see anyone they want to. She described it like a slow break up process. She meets up with him still, around once a month, maybe more. This has been going on since the beginning of the summer (isn't this a long time?).\n\nSome thoughts/concerns/questions\n\nI think we are getting close to the point where things are getting more serious. After a lot of reflection, I feel I am not comfortable bringing the relationship into a serious sexual/emotional place when she is still with this other guy (Is this a bad thing?). She has made it seem like she is very interested in being with me, but at the same time she has not broken it off. Should I stick it out and hope that she fully breaks it off with the other guy? Should I move on? Maybe it is time to have a very frank discussion with her about where she sees this going?\n\nThanks for listening.", "summary": "Girl I'm seeing says she is currently in an open relationship/in the process of breaking up. Should I wait for her to break it off fully or move on?"} {"id": "t3_15zh58", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Went Off On Teacher That Hated Me", "post": "One of the teachers in my school, who is actually an aide who only helps in English class, hates my guts. I don't know why, I don't know how, but she is always either yelling at me, insulting me, or trying to convince the English teacher (who likes me) to give me a bad grade. I am known for reading in a loud enthusiastic voice. Everyone, including the aide, has known this since school started up again. This particular day, the teacher made me read a passage from Anne Frank. I start to read, and the aide says, \"jorgethecat, read like a normal person for once! Stop making fun of it, because no one thinks you're funny.\" I could see the English teacher about to say something, but I saw red. Everyone in the room's mouth dropped, and the kicker: I am Jewish. I said that I had been picked on and made fun of during most of my school years, and continued to say how everyone appreciated me exciting the class instead of reading like a robot like you and everyone else. Her face immediately went red as a lobster, and she ran out of the room. Everytime I saw her in the hall she refused to make eye contact with me. I had a huge smile on my face the rest of the day.", "summary": "Teacher hates me, decides to bust my grill about my reading of Anne Frank, lace into her with the fact that I am in fact Jewish myself, and ruin her day."} {"id": "t3_3ca6d0", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "[Story] Misplaced my drive for success after graduating college one year ago. Need advice", "post": "Hey Reddit,\nI'm kind of stuck in a rut. Since graduating college, I've watched friends move around the country getting really exciting and good jobs. I stayed in my college town for a year after graduation, and it's starting to wear on me.\n\nWhen I graduated, I wanted to take a year off to travel and basically relax. I got a pizza delivery job and saved up to travel. I went to some great places (Mardi Gras and Cabo San Lucas) and now I'll be headed overseas to either China or Europe.\n\nAnd after that year of travel and relaxation, my plan was to start my cannabis business in Washington state with a few friends and investors.\n\nBut it's really hard for me to sit down and get my business plan written because I want to spend as much time with my friends and having fun in summer. But with that attitude I'll never get my business off the ground. basically I rack disiprine.\n\nSo Reddit, I'm wondering what ways or steps can I take to get myself motivated and separate my time between business and friends.", "summary": "I've misplaced my drive to work/succeed after graduating college, what are ways I can get back my motivation to start my business."} {"id": "t3_19061m", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I (18F) am curious if I'm going in the right direction with a 19M, considering it would be long distance.", "post": "I've been talking to them for a few months now. We skype and shit. We share a lot of similar interests, which is somethings rare for me it seems (weird interests perhaps). It is great actually. But I am not sure how sexually attracted I am to them. I am to an extent sexually attracted, but it always seems to fluctuate depending on the day. We have considered one of us flying to the other, but I always get nervous that I won't find them attractive. I've voiced my concerns (without saying exactly 'their face') and they agree that we should talk more and etc and decide later. I'm worried that I'll always be like this though. :( Do you guys think this is the right thing to do? Just wait it out?", "summary": "Like a boy from faraway, not sure if I am completely sexually attracted to him. Boy says we should wait it out and see how things go. Good idea?"} {"id": "t3_3v5kia", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU: trying to fix the xbox app on windows 10", "post": "So this started 2 days ago and only just finished (almost) fixing it.\n\nbit of background I'm a bit of a gamer and got windows 10 free upgrade deal with it seeing as i had minecraft pc already i got the windows 10 beta thing. \n\nThis starts with me getting a code for the beta from a mac user so a friend can have a game that we can play (long story with that so wont go into details here may do in comments) so after giving the code I try to open the xbox app in hopes of finding my friends xbox id (so we can do multiplayer) fastforward slightly, this is after me trying to force the xbox app to log out and log in again, im in a remote service session with microsoft support, they try everything from refreshing the windows store to reinstalling the xbox app nothing works so then they go to start a windows re-imaging process (basically reinstalling the os) before they get chance to do anything they get disconnected, I wait about 10-20 mins letting my net settle because wi-fi for me can be funny, nothing. I end up having to make sure they cant re-connect because I have to go to a friends to do some minecraft recording (modded minecraft not windows 10 edition).\n\nYesterday I reinstalled windows 10 from the image I made myself a few days prior, thinking that it would be the pro edition i thought nothing of it, did a few things around the house while it was installing and updating got back and realised it was the home edition, at first i thought nothing of it tried to do some modded minecraft and it ran at what felt like negative frames per second. thought something was up and found out that home couldn't give enough ram for what i was needing so i ended up reinstalling windows 7 ultimate to get it to windows 10 pro (via free upgrade thing) but that produced problems because i didnt have a product key that would work (i used to run windows loader to get the keys to work and used it to install windows 7 on friends and families machines) thankfully I found a windows 10 disc that has pro on and ended up using that.", "summary": "xbox app broke, microsoft suport made it worse, installed wrong version of windows untill i got the right one today, took 3 days to do all of it"} {"id": "t3_2weflv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] for 3 months, I don't know if I'm happy with an innocent girl.", "post": "So I've recently started a relationship with a fellow freshman at my college and I'm just not sure if I'm happy. She's a great partner, very caring, very honest and funny, and pretty much all I could ever ask for in a girl, but there's just one setback: she's innocent. \n\nI've always kind of liked the rebellious/nofucksgiven type of girls. My last girlfriend was like that and I loved her a lot, but the problem was she seemed to not care a little *too* much. This girl I've recently started dating is religious and doesn't cuss, wants to wait for sex til marriage, and just wants to take things too slow. I am not religious whatsoever and I don't mind if someone is religious, it's just I've never pictured myself with someone who is. I've always wanted a relationship where my partner and I can be sexual toward each other but it just isn't like that with her. I know the physical aspect isn't everything, but it isn't unimportant. \n\nThere are times when I just want to be with her and think about being with her until I die, but then there are times when I just feel like being a straight up asshole towards her (not that I do). I'm very torn on whether or not to continue this relationship. I'm not sure if I should give it some more time because 3 months isn't long at all, or if I should stop wasting both of our time because this feeling won't change. All feedback is welcome. Thank you.", "summary": "My gf is very innocent and I'm attracted to bad girls. Debating on seeing where it goes or ending it."} {"id": "t3_fz3ze", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I'm suing a guy who rear ended me and ignored my calls and letters. Now he's calling me to try and work something out...", "post": "In November, I was rear ended while stopped in heavy traffic. Fortunately, I had my bicycle on a bike rack, which absorbed most of the impact and was destroyed. This did damage the part of the frame where the hitch is mounted as well.\n\nThe guy didn't have an insurance card but said he'd take care of everything. I took pictures of his vehicle, license plate, and driver's license and told him I'd contact him once I got estimates for the repairs.\n\nThe estimates came out to around $600. I attempted to contact him and did not get a call back. I sent a certified letter saying that if I didn't hear from him within 2 weeks, I'd sue him. He did not reply, so I filed a small claims suit against him.\n\nIf I win the case, I'll be able to request an order for his property to be seized and sold off to compensate me for damages and all court costs.\n\nLast night I received a voicemail from him asking me to call him back to work something out, because he can't afford to pay it all upfront and to please not sue him.\n\nI almost want to tell the guy to f off, because he had his chance to work this out over the last few months. Instead, he chose to ignore my calls and certified letter.\n\nSo my question for you guys is: What would you do? I don't think I trust him enough to set up a payment plan, and a part of me feels he should learn his lesson for ignoring me and for driving without insurance. He's something like 20 years old.", "summary": "Uninsured driver rear ends me, ignored my calls and letter, now wants to work something out after I filed a small claim suit against him."} {"id": "t3_36xeiy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [F26] have no friends and I'm getting jealous of [M23] husband's friends and acting clingy.", "post": "So yeah, pretty much the title. We've been been together for about 5 years, married for 1.5 years. I moved in with him to a small military town when we got married, and so far I haven't really been able to make friends. He just got out of the military and we have decided to stay here, but I'm getting really lonely.\n\nDon't get me wrong I try, but it just hasn't worked out for me. I've tried looking for a job but there's not a lot of opportunities here and I don't have a degree. I've tried meeting up with people on reddit, going to parties, getting involved in the vape community, meeting my SO's buddies' wives and girlfriends but no luck. I've been here almost 2 years and I have absolutely no one I can call up to go hang out with or go to lunch. \n\nI just sit at home by myself every day, waiting for him to come home just so I can have some human interaction. Then I get irrationally sad that my husband doesn't spend all his time with me. He also plays a lot of video game and has his own friends, and I'm not sure how to deal with that. I've been getting clingy, needy, and jealous that's he's logged into his game every other day for hours talking and laughing with his friends while I just sit alone on the couch and surf reddit. Does anyone have any advice at all? I don't want to force him not to game or have a life just because I don't have one. :/", "summary": "Husband plays lots of online games, and I have no friends. I try to put myself out there but nothing, I'm getting clingy and jealous of his friends. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_2ft2ov", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25/F] with my BF [37 M] of a year, second guessing his intentions", "post": "We have been together for a year. It was smooth sailing at first, he was perfect through and through but my jealousy and trust issues made us fight constantly. I was such a crazy gf but I was trying to work out my issues through therapy and all.\n\nFour months ago, he told me that he couldn't take it (the fighting and the snooping and crazy jealousy) anymore and that he wanted to be just friends. He said that he loved me but he was not in love with me because we were fighting constantly. It went on for a month plus. I begged him to stay because I was still in love with him. He agreed because he said I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And so we continued fighting and making up. \n\n6 weeks ago, we found out that I was pregnant. The first night he found out, he wanted to abort the baby and asked me if I would consider it. I said I was afraid of abortion and would think about it. We had a long discussion about having children and the possibility of being stuck in a bad marriage. The next day, he said he completely changed his mind and wanted to stay together and marry me and have kids together. He proposed the week after, rock on my finger and everything.\n\nIt has been amazing, we are planning for our wedding at the end of the month. He is super enthusiast now, takes really great care of me and kisses my belly all the time. Thing is, I just can't get over the fact that he rejected me once before, and that he initially refused to keep the baby. I kept wondering if I should leave him, but I think it would literally kill him. \n\nAm I being paranoid or is it really possible to fall back into love with someone after you fell out of it? Should I worry about his infidelity in the future? Or is this just me being a crazy jealous gf once again?", "summary": "Currently pregnant and engaged to an amazing boyfriend. Wedding is in three weeks, having second thoughts due to boyfriend initial reluctance when he first found out. Help?"} {"id": "t3_3qjb0t", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by losing the master key and office key", "post": "Two TIFU's. First one was 2 months ago, and one yesterday.\nWhen i got my job as a IT-Support, i received two keys. One Master key and another key to my office.\n\nHaven't you had the feeling where you were on your way home, and suddenly you search your pockets and somethings missing? \n\nYeah, after 2 months on my new job, i lost the MASTER key. (i've lost a key once, and that was when i was a kid) \n\nAnd now i just lost a key that opens up every damn thing in a massive IT company. Aaaand i haven't told my boss yet, because i havent had much use of that key, only my office key. So i went to tell the janitor guy who orders new keys, and he ordered a new one (havent gotten it until this day).\n\nSo yesterday i went out for a couple of hours, fixing stuff, and i came back stressing around because i had to catch the train after work. On the way to the metro, i put my hands into my pockets, and something is missing. My office key.\n\nThe worst part about it, is that i have NO clue whatsoever where the Master key is and how i even lost it, but the office key, i have a feeling that i might know where it is.\n\nI panicked, and called almost everybody that i have been helping if they've seen anything. Nothing has come up. Now i'm at work, lied about me losing my private keys to my co-workers and boss, and that i have to go look for them, i'm now waiting to book a car so i can go look for the key. \nJust my luck :(", "summary": "losing the 2 most important keys within 3 months of my new job, havent told my boss or co-workers yet, i'm screwed."} {"id": "t3_mq62n", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Are white immigrants from South Africa (to America) considered African-Americans? Should they be?", "post": "Should anyone who comes to America to live be considered anything other than American? Or have we forgotten George Washington's words, \n\n\"Citizens, by birth or choice, of a common country, that country has a right to concentrate your affections. **The name of american, which belongs to you, in your national capacity, must always exalt the just pride of Patriotism, more than any appellation derived from local discriminations.** With slight shades of difference, you have the same religion, manners, habits, and political principles. You have in a common cause fought and triumphed together; the Independence and Liberty you possess are the work of joint counsels, and joint efforts, of common dangers, sufferings, and successes.\"\n\nI fully expect a deluge of down votes, but consider this. Why do we call ourselves Irish-American, African-American, or Italian-American, in reference to where we came from, usually many generations ago, rather than American, in reference to what we are today?\n\nHere's a slightly outdated link to a news story about this:", "summary": "First-gen South African student in America put up posters asking students to consider him for an \"African-American\" award. Chaos ensued."} {"id": "t3_19heay", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Okay--How to help train an anxiety ridden dog aggressive dog?", "post": "Hey guys.\n\nI've posted on here before about my Australian Cattle Dog [Jamba] and his aggression issues.\n\nBackground: no aggressive behavior until after he was fixed around 6mo--since then it's been hell (He's also ALWAYS lived with another dog except for around 3 months between 8-11mo). Lunging/poofyness/barking/super reactive. I HAVE gotten him to be able to LIVE WITH other dogs as long as he's introduced properly, but he cannot have random dogs spring up on him either on walks or out in public. As a result, can't take him anywhere anymore except for walks in the woods and in my neighborhood.\n\nToday: We met for a free consultation is a great trainer in our area who we were interested in working with to help Jamba. However, on top of his flat $750 fee for just training, with his aggression fee it would be close to $1000 which is just entirely unfeasible for me right now (he didn't have payment plan options) unless Jamba and I are both going to be eating tortilla chips only for the next year. \n\nHow would you train a dog that is reactive both on and off leash? I'm thinking just intense obedience training where that becomes his job as opposed to him thinking his job is to \"protect mom from strange dogs\". \n\nHe said that desensitization can work SOMETIMES but that it's very difficult for that to work in some cases with high energy working dogs. However, I have been just using desensitization and also gradual introductions with him and dogs he now lives with and dogs he's lived with in the past. \n\nHe also noticed that Jamba is very nervous/has some pent up anxiety. He gets pretty chompy and his brain starts going a million miles a minute. Do you guys think I can use Kikopup's \"Capturing Calmness\" training for this or should I try a few different techniques??\n\nThanks for reading, I'm open to any suggestions/help/tips.", "summary": "ACD dog reactive/dog aggressive and has some anxiety--how to train him to be tolerant/calm/switch his job from \"protecting mommy\" to \"just focus on mommy\"?"} {"id": "t3_4xrzvm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My coworker is a lesbian who is uncomfortable with her sexuality [23f] and our male coworkers [24-30ish] are giving her a hard time about it. How do I support her?", "post": "One of my coworkers is an adorable sweet Asian girl who joined my team about 3 months ago. We all assumed she was straight. We found out last week (though she wasn't the one who brought it up) that she prefers women and she's in a relationship with a woman right now. \n\nSome male coworkers on my team who are in their mid-20s are being immature teenage boys about it. They're not mean-spirited at all -- they have the best intentions when tease her about it (and I know they only tease her because it's not a big deal), but I can tell it makes her uncomfortable. \n\nFrom what I've judged, she seems to be still uncomfortable with her sexuality. She has a hard time sticking up for herself, and she doesn't tell the guys to knock it off. She tries laughing it off, but I know she would like them to stop. \n\nI'm a 32 year old woman and we're the only women on the team (yay tech). I'm not a manager, and I don't have any direct authority over our male coworkers. I want to ask the guys to stop, but at the same time, I don't want to be the overbearing maternal coworker who takes everything too seriously, ESPECIALLY when she herself laughs along with them and hasn't asked them to stop. What can I do to support her?", "summary": "my coworker is a lesbian who is uncomfortable with her sexuality and our male coworkers are giving her a hard time about it. How do I support her as a 32 year old only-other-woman on the team?"} {"id": "t3_fop52", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Being Shady To My Friends, Avoiding My Ex", "post": "Me: 25\nMy ex: 24 (I think)\nwere together: 2 years\nbroke up: 4 years ago\n\nOk, I think that gives some pretty good context to the situation. Now, this ex of mine is a girl I've had a super hard time getting over. I can't help but have some feelings for her even though she has treated me like crap. So I do have some lovey dovey feelings for her, but then, I really really hate her. Basically whenever I'm reminded of her, I get in a bad mood. \n\nThe last time we interacted was about a year ago. We hung out a few times, exchanged texts, and eventually went on a date (that she proposed we do). This is something I was sort of hoping or, but it turned out she was just using me to get a free ride and dinner. It was really painful and humiliating, and made my resentment towards her even worse. I haven't seen her since, and I know I won't be able to be in the same room as this girl without being in a super crabby face mood. \n\nNow, fastforward to today. There is going to be a little get together tonight for my close friends, and she sort of invited herself in. Now that she's going, I really don't want to go, but I know this is going to rub my friends the wrong way. They don't know about the incident I had last with her, so they will think I'm a big baby for not going. \n\nI do think I am being a big baby for not going, but I know this will be a painful night to endure. I don't know how I'm going to go about telling my friends that I'm not going to show tonight. It's pretty shitty because some people are coming in from out of town, so it's like, yeah...\n\nSo what should I do?", "summary": "Close friends are having a get together tonight, some people are coming from out of town so I would feel really bad to skip out because my ex is there. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2u8pbs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27F] with my boyfriend [26] of 2 years, he decides to leave for a trip on Valentine's Day without asking if I cared. It's too late to change and now we're fighting. Am I blowing this up?", "post": "My boyfriend (let's call him Brad) and his friends all planned a trip for a week. I was never really informed of the plans and didn't know when they were leaving. I find out they plan to leave on Valentine's day morning by overhearing their conversation...not because Brad told me. When I confronted him about it, he tells me he didn't ask me about leaving on Valentine's day because he assumed I wouldn't care. I'll admit, I have mentioned that in previous relationships, Valentine's day was never really special to me. But I guess it was more because I didn't care about the guy I was with. I love Brad. Last Valentine's day was really great and I was really looking forward to it this year. But now it's too late to make changes to their plans and I can't help but feel really upset by this. He keeps saying we can celebrate the day before, but I don't feel satisfied. It just doesn't feel the same. It's been 3 days and I still feel pretty down about it. Be honest with me, am I making too big a deal about this?", "summary": "Boyfriend is leaving Valentine's day morning on a trip and didn't ask me if I cared. It's been three days and I'm still upset about it. Am I making too big a deal about it?"} {"id": "t3_1mjmrc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[23F] boyfriend [31M] of 1 year cheated while I was out of town", "post": "My boyfriend recently confessed to cheating on me while I was away on a research course for two weeks. We had been living together for 6 months at this point. I have now moved to a different city to finish my last 8 months of University. \n\nI spent a week with him after my course and he didn't tell me about his infidelity until I moved back to school (~1hr away). He called me, sputtering, that he couldn't continue to go on living with the lie and guilt of his mistake. He had \"fooled around\" with a good female friend of his. \n\nThis was extremely shocking to me because our relationship was SO GOOD. I had been cheated on in a previous relationship - a relationship that was terrible. It doesn't make sense and I never thought my current boyfriend could do this to me. \n\nI've never been this in-love with someone either. If there is such thing as \"the one\", he is mine. I can imagine us growing old together, which is something I've never imagined doing with anyone before. \n\nHe says he's never regretted anything in his life before this, that it's the biggest mistake he will ever make. He promises that he would never do this to me ever again. How do I believe him? I want to stay with him.", "summary": "Boyfriend cheated while I was away for 2 weeks. Now I've moved to a different city, how do I make it work and learn to trust him again?"} {"id": "t3_37ppeh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've [18 M] been texting [17 F] non-stop for the last few days, think she likes me but don't know how to progress", "post": "I'm a guy who has never had a date, girlfriend, or even somebody interested in me as far as i know so I have no idea what to do. I met this girl through being in the same course at college. We were put into a group for a group assignment so our group of six swapped details and planned a group meeting. In this meeting only me, the girl and her friend showed up so we pretty much just forgot about the assignment and just talked. Thanks to this I got to know her a bit and then earlier this week after the same class we got talking again. We ended up hanging out for a couple of hours before her next class where we talked about random things and had fun chatting.\n\nThat night I wanted to text her since I wouldn't see her for a week but I wasn't sure what to say and kind of left it. Luckily for me she texted me that night and we talked until late. The next day we ended up texting non-stop all day and met up for a bit when we both had classes around the same time. This was repeated for the last few days and everything seems to be going well as far as I know. I wanted to ask her out so I somehow got the guts (after typing the message and shouting at myself for five minutes to send it) to see if she wanted to do something during our study break in a couple weeks and she said yes but I'm not sure if she thought I meant it as just hanging out. I would try flirting or something but I have no idea how and anything I want to say that might mean something I'm too scared to say. I'm hoping you guys could help me with my situation as I don't know what to do.", "summary": "Texting for a few days, think she likes me but don't know how to progress as i'm new to this and have no experience with anything"} {"id": "t3_tcoz9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Feeling insecure about boyfriends fantasy", "post": "I'm 21(f) and he's 21(m). I'm sure I just feel really insecure because it's 5am and I'm stressed with exams, but some supportive feed back would be lovely.\n\nSo we've been dating for about 8 months and I love him dearly. He is the one I want to have for the rest of my life. Anyways, we have a fairly healthy relationship. We work on trying to communicate often and in a respectful manner. Sometimes I get super emotional and really clingy but overall he has handled it extremely well. \n\nHe really wants to have a threesome. I know that I won't have one anytime soon because I'm waaay to insecure about it. I don't even like it when he looks at porn. I would still like to do it at some point just to please him, but I don't know if I will ever be emotional able to handle it. I asked him just now if he would be okay with dealing with a super upset and emotional me for a month straight to have a threesome and he said yes. I'm glad he was honest but I was somewhat peeved by his answer. I wouldn't purposely do anything to upset him or make him uncomfortable.\n\nYour thoughts on this? Do I sound sane? I'm not asking for people to say that my boyfriend is a dick, but mostly if I'm being emotionally reasonable with myself. I don't want to make him think I'll one day have a threesome with him if its never going to happen. Thanks!", "summary": "Boyfriend wants a threesome but I don't think I'm emotionally okay with it or that I ever will be. Should I feel bad about not being able to fulfill this desire for him?"} {"id": "t3_4s8yka", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] am into a girl [18F] who I just found out (from her) that has a history of cheating.", "post": "So, for the past few months I have been talking to, and now, flirting with this one girl. We became really close friends and things were looking as if at any moment we could enter a relationship. However, a few days ago we had a very deep conversation about personal flaws and mistakes we have made in the past. That was the moment that I learned about how she has cheated on other guys before.\n\nAccording to her, the first person she dated was abusive and overall horrible to her, so she cheated on him when she was an environment where he wasn't present, and subsequently their relationship ended. But, this was not an isolated incident. She also told me that when with her next SO, she cheated on him with two entirely separate guys, both whom were dating someone else at the time. \n\nMy only response when I heard all this information was \"why?\" to which she replied \"because I'm a horny mess and can't control myself\".\n\nThere are so many red flags here it's actually unbelievable. It's like some kind of crazy red flag fiesta.\n\nDespite all of that, she told me that she regrets her having cheated and realizes how awful and fucked up her actions were. Most importantly she said that she is determined to change and is actively working on improving herself and not making the same past mistakes and decisions.\n\nOn top of all that, this is a person with whom I'm more comfortable than with anyone else and I value as a friend above all else. \n\nI honestly don't know what to do.", "summary": "People can do bad things, and cheating is an awful act, but is it forgivable? Should that deter me from pursuing a relationship with her, or should I be an optimist and go for it?"} {"id": "t3_e5zr6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "can reddit help my disabled mom?", "post": "I'm wondering if any redditors have been in a similar situation and might be able to help out. So my mom is disabled and has had polymyositis (a nueromuscular disease) for the last four years and has not been getting better. She's divorced and I'm away at college so there's basically nobody to help her do simple things around the house (grocery shopping, cleaning, maintainence) except for my sister, who is busy in high school. She's got stacks of bills and medical receipts that she needs to pay/send to the insurance company for reimbursement; needs help filing taxes; dire straights financially. We know that there are programs out there, but have been rejected (due to value of our house and not being on welfare or of retirement age)/given the runaround from many of them. Is there any kind of personal assistant or organization that could come to her house to apply for these programs, sort through/pay her bills, file her reimbursements, help with grocery etc.? State social worker has been useless- gives us programs, but my mom has to do all the work of filing, driving, following up (which she's incapable of doing).", "summary": "My mom is disabled and desperately needs personal assistant/home care help, we have no idea what she's eligible for or if there's any non-profits that can help."} {"id": "t3_35jiy7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[24/f] trying to be supportive of a friend [30/m] who's not the type to reach out for support.", "post": "This is about a specific situation, but actually I struggle with this problem with any of my friends who are not the \"reaching out\" type.\n\nSo I'm the type of person who's very vocal when I'm having a rough time. I don't lie and my first impulse is to call a friend to tell them what happened. Sometimes I become over-reliant on others, but that's a problem for a different day.\n\nAnyway, as such I struggle to identify with people who are \"not the type to reach out\" when feeling bad. I understand that sometimes these people just need time to process what has happened to them, and so they are in some sense asking for space that you should give them.\n\nBUT, I also find that these type tends to assume that you can read their minds and just know when they *really* want you to ask questions and support them... but they will never come right out and say it and would never dream of picking up the phone and saying \"help, I need you,\" no matter how badly they may actually need you.\n\nSo, how do you balance giving someone their needed space with also showing that you are there for them? (I know there's always the \"I'm here if you need me\" line, but I'm also aware that this type of person will almost never reach out and take you up on that, no matter how sincerely you mean it, even if they want you to be there for them.)", "summary": "I am not a mind-reader, help me to start reading these \"space-needing\" people's minds!! lol."} {"id": "t3_3aov6m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16M] just saw my married father [56M] skyping a woman at 1AM in the garage talking about edging and calling her a \"naughty girl\"", "post": "So this just happened not ten minutes ago. I'm freaking out a little bit. I've been suspicious of him for a while, and recently there have been more and more convincing signs (him being out unaccounted for during the evenings for hours at a time, leaving in the middle of the night for hours without telling anyone, and him being up very late in the garage talking to a woman on the phone), but this is the first definitive proof I have gotten. \n\nHonestly, with the way our family life is (mom is a hopeless alcoholic who he is most certainly not attracted to anymore, and my brother [14M] and especially me being something of failures, I'm not surprised that he felt he needed an out like this.\n\nI am really just in shock and I have no idea what to do. I could confront him, talk to my mom, or pretend I don't know anything and that this didn't happen. \n\nI struggle with depression and bipolar disorder myself, and this has just hit like a very hard blow. I was on my way out to smash my bong, and trash the last of my weed, cigarettes, and alcohol (something I have been meaning to do for too long and finally summoned the courage to), when I saw him in the garage sitting in one of the cars on Skype. Listened in on the conversation for a minute or two. I can't deal with this tonight this late, and there is no way I'm going to be able to sleep sober tonight.", "summary": "Been suspicious of my dad having an affair for a little while, finally gained definitive proof by seeing him skyping a woman and discussing sexual material."} {"id": "t3_125dcx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "25m started dating good friend's ex", "post": "My good friend was dating this girl for 3 years. She was his first love. It has been 7 years since they dated but they have hooked up as recently as 3 years ago. He has been dating someone for the last 2 years. He lives across the country for school but still is close with her and they hang out whenever he is back. She has dated several people since.\n\nI have been friends with her for over 10 years, never anything more until recently. She just told me he is going to go ballistic when he hears about it, and that he still sends her intimate texts when he is in town.\n\n1. Did I screw up big time here? I obviously didn't plan this, it just happened. Is it fair for him to have a girlfriend and still hold on to this girl who is probably my best friend? \n\n2. How should we break the news? Her and I are both equally close with him, who should tell? She wants to, but I kind of want to as well...", "summary": "hooked up with good friends ex. he has a gf. am I in the clear and how to break the news?"} {"id": "t3_2pg2m2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24m] and my girlfriend [27f] are at a stand still after 5 months.", "post": "My girlfriend has recently stopped having sex with me and told me she doesn't know if this is what she wants. She told me that, even though she would reciprocate, that our long term thoughts (i.e. moving in together in a few months) were too much for her to bare. I expressed I would change and have, but she is still on the fence. For awhile there, she seemed REALLY into me, and after our argument (which was over something that turned out to be nothing) she has become a bit apprehensive and has expressed concern with moving too quickly with me, which I quickly reciprocated and understood. I did my best to express why I thought it was okay, and now, she is still doesn't know what she wants.\n\nMind you, when I leave her alone or do not talk to her, she goes out of her way to talk to me and have me hang out with her. I know there is no one else around as we both moved to the area recently and she spends too much time with me for another person.\n\nShe expressed she has moved too quickly in the past and that it has put her into crap situations.\n\nI don't really understand if I scared her by moving too quickly, or if she is just done with me. Could you guys give me some advice? Thanks.", "summary": "GF really into me, complained we moved too fast, now tells me she doesn't know what she wants. Help?"} {"id": "t3_1x2uf7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 28f and 26m. Break? Break up? Not sure what to do.", "post": "Hi all,\n\nI've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years. We've lived together for 1 1/2 years. To start with, it was amazing, like everything fell into place. There were fights along the way but we worked it out. Once we moved in, we started taking each other for granted a bit. We had a few tough months but we were working on it and getting better. We had a few awful fights though, but worked it out.\n\nAt the weekend, we had a big fight. We had both been drinking. Without going into too much detail, as a result of his friend I got angry and shouted at my boyfriend. He broke up with me on the spot, saying he wouldn't take being spoken to like that any more. Anyway he actually took me home, we talked/argued for 2 1/2 hours, but then he walked out at 3am. Since he lives with me, his stuff is here, but he took a bag.\n\nHe walked out like that a couple times before but I'd call and we'd work it out. I called him in the morning and we chatted for nearly an hour. He wouldn't come home, but actually we had a nice conversation, and he did tell me he loved me (both during the fight and phone call). I told him that I would give him a few days space. So I haven't spoken to him for three days now.\n\nI've been taking my time and space to use for myself, but obviously I want to talk to him. I have decided I probably want to work on us, because I am in love with him. Do you have any advice for me regarding - when should I call him? Should I even bother to try to work it out with him? And any advice for how to do that?\n\nThanks.", "summary": "Living together, boyfriend left with hardly any stuff. Not sure whether on a break or broken up, but want to try to work it out."} {"id": "t3_183imj", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/F] My boyfriend [21/M] came home bragging about flirting at the bar last night.", "post": "Last night my boyfriend of about 2 years went out drinking at a bar with some of his friends. Usually I go along with them and have a good time but I was tired and had work early the next morning. \n\nHe got home at 4:30am and woke me up wanting to tell me about how his night was. I hadn't been sleeping well so I let him go ahead seeing as he was so excited. \nHe told me there was a \"cute Swedish girl\" at the bar that his single friends wanted to hook up with. He wanted to try out the cold shoulder tactic to see if she really would become more interested in him the more he ignored her, and it seemed to really work. One of the friends left so there was just my boyfriend and one of his friends left. In the end the girl invited them back to a friend's party so they left the bar with her. He told me she was touching his arm and laughing at his jokes, but when he told her he has a girlfriend she started \"balling her eyes out\". Apparently she just threw a massive tantrum and ran outside (into a huge thunderstorm) and was yelling she didn't think he was that type of guy to lead a girl on and that he was different. After that things got a bit too weird and they left. He said (as a joke) you should be grateful to have me since a girl wanted me so badly she cried. I am a good-looking girl and get hit on all the time at bars but I would never tell him, to spare his feelings and to stay humble.\n\nPart of me is absolutely gutted about him shamelessly flirting with this girl and then coming home to brag to me about it. I'm not at all the jealous type but this hit me hard. He explained it just felt good to know he 'still had it' and that it felt good to be wanted, which I can understand I guess. I'm not sure if this was really uncalled for and rude on his part or I'm just overreacting. Can anyone shed some light on this issue for me please??", "summary": "Boyfriend came home drunk last night bragging about flirting with a cute Swedish girl saying it was just innocent fun; am I right to think this is just wrong?"} {"id": "t3_3nhs32", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by watching Snakes on a Plane on a plane.", "post": "So yesterday, I was preparing for an overseas flight to France (part of an exhange at my school). Anyways, I was just downloading a ton of movies and decided I might as well just get Snakes on a Plane just because. What I failed to look over was the contents of this movie. So anyways, I'm on the plane, watching the movie, and all of the sudden some characters in it join the mile-high club. They were completely naked and having sex in the bathroom. Big floppy titties. I'm like oh shit and keep watching to see what would happen. Then all of the sudden they get completely destroyed by fucking snakes and the snake even targets her left tit as a bite target. I'm like even more wtf and pause the movie to process this a little. This is where I fucked up. I remembered that I was in the middle seat, and was between two other people. I looked at the other two people (one was an old woman, the other was a man maybe in his twenties), and the old woman looks completely traumatized and starts praying or something. The man is just chuckling and sort of beckons for me to keep playing the movie (I have subtitles on, so he can still keep up with it). The old lady then refuses to look at me, and just gets up and leaves her seat, bringing her carry-on with her. About a minute later, some middle-aged man comes and sits where she was. He just kind of glares at me for a second and starts to read his book. I realized that this was probably the woman's son, and she was so freaked by the movie that she switched seats with her son just to get away from me. The younger guy next to me then just sort of laughs and beckons to keep playing the movie. The movie sucked, so did the rest of the flight. \n(Sorry about bad formatting, on mobile)", "summary": "Traumatized an old lady with snakes on a plane titties and put a snake in a man's pants ( \u0361\u00b0 \u035c\u0296 \u0361\u00b0)"} {"id": "t3_4hkf82", "subreddit": "books", "title": "Do you have a book that you love, but are embarrassed to talk about?", "post": "2016 is the year of diversifying my reading life. What does this mean? Great question, I don't really know. At the end of last year I realized that I had read a lot of books (112 to be exact) but there wasn't much variety going on, I almost exclusively read history and literary fiction. I decided that was bonkers, and that I needed to expand my horizons. \n\nAs part of this, I picked up Outlander by Diana Gabaldon as a romance pick and I thought it was AMAZING. I realized that I didn't want to talk about it to the group of friends that I usually talk to about books, because I was kind of embarrassed to have loved a \"romance\" book so much (about 2 days later I got over it and talked their ears off about it). \n\nI was wondering if anyone else had been in the situation where you loved a book but were to embarrassed to admit it?", "summary": "Read Outlander, loved it, was to embarrassed to talk about my love for this book. Have any of you been in that situation, if so what was the book?"} {"id": "t3_1f0eas", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Am I selfish for wanting my significant other to stop smoking?", "post": "So.\n\nI've been dating this guy for almost two years now, and we've had some pretty rocky times, but we've been doing a great job of mutually working our issues out, lately. He's smoked cigarettes for the greater part of our relationship, and for the most part I haven't minded, provided he doesn't smoke them around me and keeps their use (mostly) restricted to his breaks at work. Lately, however, he's fallen into an extremely undesirable crowd, and has started doing things like chain smoking and getting high almost every night. I know the people he hangs out with, and they are exceptionally bad influences. I've tried almost everything I can trying to express to him how much his smoking bothers me, and trying to work with him to quit (especially the weed, I have grown up in a way that weed is pretty much unacceptable to me), but every time I bring it up, he brushes it off with a simple \"I'm sorry.\" or \"I'm trying to quit.\"\nHe has done absolutely nothing in the way of trying to stop either of these habits, no matter what I say or do. It's gotten to the point where I'm ready to leave him if this progresses, though I really don't want to (I love him immensely).\nAm I being unreasonable? How do I get through to him?\nI am F17 and he's M18, if it matters. Both high school graduates.", "summary": "boyfriend of ~2 years had recently started hanging out with a horrible group of people, smoking pot and chain-smoking cigarettes and the like, which is a dealbreaker for me. Wat do?"} {"id": "t3_12kfzy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is this all there is?", "post": "I've been dating my current girlfriend for a year and a half. We're both 22 and in a bit of a long-distance relationship. She lives about 6 hours away from me. Lately I've just been feeling... less. I don't know how to describe it. When I would think of her a year ago I would get butterflies and that whole deal. I loved her. And I still do. But things are different. And I know that that sort of infatuation does change over time into a bond that is more like... companionship I guess. But I don't know, I've never been in a relationship for this long and it just feels like we are losing our spark.\n\nWe don't have sex because she wants to wait until marriage, and I respect that. But our sex life has gotten a little stale. She doesn't give me oral really and every time she gets me off manually it feels like she is doing a chore she doesn't want to do and that really kind of hurts my feelings. I always initiate and always go down on her because I enjoy it and she does too. I dunno. She loves me and I know that but I feel like our relationship is lacking that passion we used to have. Is this all there is? Because I am feeling a little disillusioned with the whole long-term relationship right now. It isn't very fulfilling and I don't know what to do :(\n\nYour advice is very appreciated. Thank you.", "summary": "Can't tell if my relationship with my girlfriend is getting stale or if we are simply moving past the infatuation phase of things. I'm not feeling satisfied or fulfilled with our relationship and I just don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_1gnszg", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "[Nsv] tried p90x and didn't actually die!", "post": "First time reddit post ever. Been creeping on this sub for 3 weeks now. Thank you everyone who has posted! You got me out of my denial stage.\n\nF/23/276-264 . More than 10 lbs in I decided to try p90x again. I made it about 20 minutes in and had pushed myself too hard and had to pause it to throw up. Once I stopped seeing spots I got right back in and made it 5 more minutes! Then I started seeing spots and threw up again. Luckily I didn't really have anything to come out either time.\nAt that point though, I temporarily gave up. In a good way though! Instead I think I'll start with something \"easy\" like c25k before the butt kicking of p90x.\n\nThe NSV is that a couple weeks ago I would have been in the mindset to go eat something horribly fattening and give up all together. Today I'm 100% \"oops, I'll start slower, heh heh\". AND that after setting my alarm early enough for a workout before work for 2 weeks, I ACTUALLY got up and tried instead of sleeping in! That is HUGE for me!\n\nSo far I'm losing weight from the most simple explanation I've found yet. Eat less, move more. Not counting calories but being aware of them. Eating a small breakfast so that I don't binge out at lunch. Eating slower so I feel it when I'm full then STOPPING. Parking a little further out. Cutting down on soda intake. Drinking more water. When I feel hungry and it's not meal time I first have a glass of water and wait 10 minutes to make sure I wasn't just thirsty. Tiny little adjustments here and there. Something new added every couple of days. Taken from what other users have said here and molding it to something I know I can do.", "summary": "actually got up early to work out! Tried p90x and failed. However, not giving up! Starting with c25k instead. Making small changes to lose weight :)"} {"id": "t3_4epaj9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20F] have gotten to know [21F] for a few months, I think we're into each other but I can't tell. How do I slyly find out if she's single?", "post": "I joined this organization at my college and this girl was in charge of a lot of events for it. I got to know her as an acquaintance and nearly (!) a friend over the past few months. She's really wonderful and I have a huge crush on her. I know she's bisexual, but I don't know if she has a girlfriend or not. \n\nThe strangest part is, I feel like we have some kind of connection. I know it sounds weird but I know there is something between us. I feel like she's into me as well but I don't know if she's single or not. I can't tell from her Facebook whether or not she has a girlfriend, and I don't want to ask. Any advice for finding out if she's available and into me?", "summary": "I like a girl and she might like me, but she also might be taken. How do I figure this out?"} {"id": "t3_1n18md", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Questions about official offer letters and giving notice.", "post": "I found out on Friday that I got the job I've been interviewing for. They said I would be receiving the offer letter soon. Monday I receive an email telling me the date they would like me to start (October 7) but I let them know that the start date would have to be October 8 because that would be a full two weeks for my current job. I didn't recive the letter all Monday so I call the lady I've been in contact with and tell her that I don't want to put my notice in until I've received the offer letter and that I would now have to put the notice in on Tuesday (today) and my start date would now be October 9. She said that was understandable and okay and she would email HR right away and I should expect the letter Tuesday morning. \n\nIt's really important that I give my current job a FULL two weeks otherwise I do not recieve my unused vacation time pay. \n\nWell it's almost lunch time and I still haven't received the letter!! I need to put my notice in, I feel like I've been putting this off forever. I am very confident that the job is mine, they're just super slow. We've decided on salary and my start date. I've talked to all of my future employeers and I did a day of shadowing. \n\nHowever, I still don't want to put my notice in until I have that letter. What should I do? Continue to wait until this afternoon and then call again or put my notice in without the letter?", "summary": "New job is taking forever with sending the offer letter. Not sure if I should go ahead and put notice in. "} {"id": "t3_44uwv5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "2 years together, and we never fight. I'm going crazy.", "post": "My boyfriend (26M) and I (26F) have been together for 2 years. We bought a house together, have a dog, and are on the fast track to the chicken dinner.\n\nHere's my problem... We never fight. Barely even argue. Can this actually be normal?\n\nI have always been very open, and I'm partially this way because I don't mind conflict. If he does something, I don't sit and let it stew until one day I freak out, I usually say it right away. I know this helps, but there are times I just want to have a good argument. Usually he kills it by apologizing or doing something to calm the storm. Next thing you know, it's over before it even started. And, for the most part, the issue somehow is resolved. When we first got together, I was amazed by this, but how can this still happen?\n\nAlso, he never starts anything with me. There's no way I've gone 2 years without pissing him off. When I confront him about this, he claims the things I do are never bad enough to start something. I'm afraid he's holding in everything he hates about me, and one day, he will just blow up. Is this just how guys are? \n\nAll of this is driving me nuts. So can not fighting in a serious relationship actually happen? Am I just searching for conflict? Does anyone have a relationship like this?", "summary": "We've been together 2 years and have not had that \"big fight\" or any fights for that matter. Can this actually be normal or am I just searching for conflict?"} {"id": "t3_1esmr5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[18F] Unable to get rid of clingy, emotionally unstable ex [20M]", "post": "I apologize that I didn't really know how to word the title.\n\nI [18F] am about to graduate high school next week, and will be moving across the country for University at the end of the summer.I had a boyfriend [20M], who is a grade older than me, from sophomore year until the beginning of this school year.\n\nHe lied, he cheated, he was a loser. And I broke up with him. It was really messy, but we ended on friendly terms. \n\nEven though he has graduated high school (barely) he hasn't moved out of his parents house, started any kind of school or held a job for more than 2 months.\n\nSince he is still in my home town we still hang out occasionally with mutual friends. And I'll admit I have been drunk/lonely and slept with him a multiple times since we broke up. I know it's pathetic and I regret it. I know this is probably the biggest cause of my problems. I still really care about him, would even say I love him (not IN love with him) but I cannot trust him and do not want to be in a relationship.\n\nI digress, he is convinced he's changed. He wants to get together again to prove that he's grown up.\n\nHe hasn't changed- he still sits at home all day smoking pot, with no job or aspirations. I don't need that negative influence in my life moving on to university.\n\nEverytime I try and talk to him about how we can't be together, and that I will not let him control me and hurt me again he says that I don't care about him and that he has nothing else. He throws a fit and cries. Says I'm everything he could ever want and will regret it forever if he lets me go. \n\nI haven't slept with him in several months, and I try to avoid him at all costs. \n\nBasically, I need to make him understand I am not going to get back together with him but I do not want to lose him as a friend. \n\nMaybe that's impossible. Help? Advice?", "summary": "My loser ex wants to get back together, breaks down when I say no. How do I make him understand without crushing him?"} {"id": "t3_3yzj4t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(M23) my friends (f 18) boyfriend (m 19) put her in hospital tonight after she broke up with him, how do I help her through the next weeks/months?", "post": "So my friend got deep in to this relationship, it was her first real boyfriend. They got intense very quickly.\n\nI didn't keep in touch with her as often as normal for a month or two, however for the past week or two we've been talking as normal. She revealed that he has hit her and controls her, I told her to leave him and I offered her all the help I could. That was about a week and a half ago.\n\nShe stayed with him and tonight when I saw her they were mid argument, she had gone to get a drink from the bar and spotted me. She told me that she was leaving him and then told me how he had taken over all her social media accounts, phone and pretty much everything he could. The hits had become more frequent too.\n\nI resisted the urge to slap him with a bottle for fear of making things far worse. She was terrified. I had to leave but I begged her to go home, she said she would, clearly it wasn't to be.\n\nI was told about 2 hours ago that he strangled her and smashed her head off of the ground until she was unconscious. When her mum arrived there were 2 ambulances and 4 police cars, he's been locked up for the night, they've documented all of her scars from previous attacks too.\n\nI've helped people in tough situations before, but not quite like this. What should I expect here on in and what, if anything, can I do?", "summary": "Friend was put in hospital by controlling abusive boyfriend, he's been locked up for the night and now I need to help her through the days to come."} {"id": "t3_jlewg", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hi, Reddit. Today was my eighteenth birthday, and even though I'm a well liked, nice, fun person, none of my friends seemed to give two shits about my birthday . Why?", "post": "Even though I got the trillion Facebook notifications from all my casual friends saying \"Happy birthday!\" and \"Hope you have a great day!\" none of my really close friends even called or texted me, much less offered to hang out or even wanted to see me. My best friend of six years spent the day with her new boyfriend and my other best friends spent it either doing nothing, or being with someone else.\nI'm always really really into doing big grand gestures for my friends for their birthdays, and I would never even think about letting my friends feel lonely or upset on their special day. I always go out of my way for everyone, and then they never do the same for me. That's not to say my friends never hang out with me, in fact, they're almost always up my butt, hanging out at my house at every opportunity, or texting/calling incessantly wanting to talk because \"I'm so awesome and funny and blahblahblah\". Why is it that on the one day I wanted them to pay attention without me begging for it, they totally forgot? This sucks.", "summary": "My friends are always up my butt, but the one time I actually really want them around, they abandon me without even caring."} {"id": "t3_283xjh", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "I'm ready to get serious. Please help.", "post": "Hey everybody. I have recently come to the realization of how unhealthy I really am. I'm 25 (m) 5'9 and weigh 330. For the longest time I knew I was fat but I never really thought I was at a serious level until I went to go to my doctor to talk about my asthma issues and he said that I am on the border line for sleep apnea. This shook me a bit and started my realization process. What really put me over the edge was when I was calling to set up an appointment with a dietician and the front desk lady got my information and asked me if I would be interested in speaking with their surgeon for weight loss surgery. Having someone straight or put me into the category of weight loss surgery completely made me realize how much I needed to change my life around. I really need help as I have never been informed on proper nutrition and have no idea what to do. I have tried dieting in the past but have never been able to stick with it. A year ago I was about this weight and started keto and lost 50 pounds in about 5 months but I wasn't doing real keto, just eating a bunch of meat and cheese. I stopped because I felt like it was not a way to eat forever and have finally as of this week gained it all back. I really need some advice on how to start dieting and exercising, good references for nutrition and exercising. I have never known how to be healthy so anything you can do to help would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "M (330) 5'9. Finally realized how unhealthy I am. Completely ignorant about health and nutrition. Any and all advice/information needed!"} {"id": "t3_39dyvi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (20F) boyfriend (22M) makes me feel bad about smoking weed but denies he hates weed/drugs", "post": "Ages slightly adjusted for anonyminity, together for 9 months\n\nHey Reddit, so the title is pretty much the gist of it, but first I will add a few other relevant details, in bullet form before asking my questions\n\n- I am an occasional pot smoker, my boyfriend tried it twice and said it never did anything for him, which I think is totally fair and I never smoke in his presence or try to pressure him into smoking with me. \n\n- I also NEVER put weed ahead of necessities like my Netflix bill, phone bill birth control, or Uni tuition. I only buy it when I have disposable income. \n\n- I smoke infrequently and in fact, most of my friends don't smoke weed. \n\nBasically what I am trying to put across is that by no means am I an annoying, irresponsible stoner. However I feel like when I do bring up smoking weed, or being high, my boyfriend gets very sulky and cold. He will even make remarks about how I am a \"stoner\" and make mean comments about the friends I have that do smoke. I realize that he may just be uncomfortable with it, so now I only tell him when I have smoked out of honesty/necessity. \n\nHowever, the thing that really bothers me is when I ask him if weed makes him uncomfortable, if he hates stoners he won't be honest or talk to me about it. And sometimes he will admit it, sometimes he won't but he will never tell me why. I honestly just want some closure from him.\n\nAnother thing that I find baffling is that he is so against me smoking weed, yet he subscribes to several snapchat/periscope channels that are just girls getting high naked, and he also subscribes to r/treesgonewild here on Reddit. \n\nI guess I am just very confused and don't know how to get him to clearly communicate or how to deal with it. I feel constantly shamed and also really confused. Because he will masturbate to a girl smoking weed but treats me like a low life whenever I mention smoking.", "summary": "bf hates that I smoke weed and hates stoners, but won't admit it or explain why, I am confused by his behavior"} {"id": "t3_4k5y00", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I have no idea what to do...", "post": "Hey Reddit I need some help with my current relationship. I have been with my wonderful girlfriend for just over three years now, she just moved across the country to live with me (active duty). I had to go home on leave for family emergency and while I was there I finally was able to see my best friend of 15 years. Now the bad part....my best friend and I have been in love with eachother every since we were kids managed to meet up at her place where we just hung out and sort of flirted. I didn't except anything to happen (never cheated before and didn't think anything like that would happen) but we ended up sleeping in the same bed because she only has one bed. We were cuddling which wasn't the best idea, we started talking and we ended up kissing which led to us having sex. We both love eachother yet I don't see it working out for us yet. I hope it does but I am completely confused as what to do and how to go about this...I feel absolutely horrible but I can not stop thinking about my best friend. Please pm me or comment anything is useful!", "summary": "Had sex with my best friend who I am in love with but I am currently in a committed relationship with someone else."} {"id": "t3_53jgzd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26F] with my new flame [30M]. I am planning on taking a trip to Cancun with a guy I am seeing, but worried my strict, conservative Indian parents will find out - need your help in covering my tracks", "post": "Hi Reddit - I'm seeing someone, we like each other enough to want to go away on a tropical trip together! It should be fun except for the caveat: I live with strict Indian parents who will freak out if they find out I am going on a trip alone with a guy. \n\nI have an elaborate lie set up for this trip (which will take place in 2 months), but need your help in figuring out if there are holes in this lie\n\n- I am planning on making a fake work flyer and saying that I am going to a summit in Atlanta (I live in New York), which will be a four day intensive workshop thing. My parents aren't the type of people to call or text me too much (I have taken several trips with girlfriends this year), but they do like to know if I have landed from a flight (via text) and if I am safe. \n\n2) I share a family plan and my dad handles the phone bills - will they find out that I am international because of the phone bill? I have t-mobile\n\n3) I am going to send a company flyer about this \"summit\" to our house (using a company envelope), right after I book my trip for Cancun.\n\nHow crazy do I sound right now on a scale of 1 to a million?", "summary": "Lying to parents about a trip to Cancun with someone I have been dating for 3 months. Need help covering my tracks."} {"id": "t3_w8g9a", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Pre-Nup: He asked me to sign... and then trouble started....", "post": "Hi,\nI'm 26/f and have been engaged to a older man for 7 years. We are finally getting married in 2 months!\n\nI always knew a pre-nup would be on the table, because I make far less than he does (I work for a nonprofit... he has a company). But, it didn't matter to me, as I don't plan on getting divored.\n\nSo, he gives me a pre-nup and the name of a lawyer to call. The lawyer looks at the pre-nup and says it is totally unfair. Basically, everything is 100% separate - no shared property, no marital property. The house, the art, furniture, etc is 100% his. I get 1/50th his net worth in alimony, spread out over 10 years. No matter how long we are married, it's a set amount. There are also some things about waving rights to his will. \n\nTo me, that wasn't so bad - after all, he paid for it all. But, the lawyer said its not right. So, I go to him, and say the lawyer said certain elements are not fair or normal. He blows up. \n\nHe said I am \"Showing my true colors\" and being entitled. I tell him I don't even want more, but we should talk about certain elements ( like some kind of tiering if we are married over 10 years). \n\nNow he is so mad he wants to call off the wedding. Words have been hurled. It's not pretty. \n\nAm I out of line? Have I ruined things? How can I make it better? Help!", "summary": "He is mad I didn't sign a prenup my lawyer said was unfair. Was I wrong, and can I make it better?"} {"id": "t3_3qloro", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [30f] broke up with my partner of ten years [30M] because he has addiction problems and i want to have a family. Looking for tips on how to handle heart break when you still love the person.", "post": "It's the kind of situation where I just kept waiting for him to get better or gave him ultimatums that temporarily stuck . . . but he wasn't actively working on himself and I just don't want to wait around another ten years to see if he can. \n\nBut he's my only love. We met in middle school and were on and off from the 7th grade until we graduated. We would spend every summer hooking up and acting like a couple. And then, eventually decided to be long distance for our last year of college. We've been together continuously since then and officially cohabited for around 5. In all that time, even when I was single, I've never felt much for anyone else.", "summary": "How to deal with the pain of letting go of someone you've loved your whole life? Tips for handling the pain and general life-going-to-shit part. THanks"} {"id": "t3_457566", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17F] just witnessed my friend [16F] and my youth pastor [23M] kissing in our youth room when they thought they were alone.", "post": "this is kind of an update to [this] post that no one really commented on.\n\nAnyways. I have twenty minutes before my internet shuts off and I\"m really freaking out. Please excuse any typos. Read the other post if you want background. Nothing much had happened since all those weird things. \n\nI was driving me and my boyfriend over to our church an hour early because he has band practice (he's in the youth band) and I didn't feel like going back and forth (he was already at my house). He went to go get his bass guitar from the other side of the building where he left it on Sunday and so I went upstairs into the youth room.\n\nNo one else was in the building besides us I thought. But I was walking upstairs and heard some weird noises so I was going to jump out and scare whoever was up there but I peeked through the slightly cracked door into the youth room to see who was there and my friend and my youth pastor were kissing!! Their eyes seemed to be closed and they were like 15 feet away so they didn't see my eyes against the door I think.\n\nI don't know what the heck to do. I don't have any proof and my friend and youth pastor are VERY well respected in the church and I'm not. No one is going to believe me besides my boyfriend and he doesn't know what to do either. \n\nPlease help.", "summary": "Got to youth group early today to accidentally witness my friend [16F] and youth pastor [23M] who I already suspected of having a weird, too close relationship, kissing."} {"id": "t3_nf7h1", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "What breed would suit me best?", "post": "Hello! I've seen a couple of posts like this already, and it worked for the posters so I figured I'd give it a shot. \nIn a couple of months, when I graduate from college, I'm looking to get a dog. The problem is, I'm not sure which breed would suit my lifestyle best. \n\nI'm a 20 year old caterer, which means I'm constantly in the kitchen cooking and therefore it is imperative that the dog sheds very little (I hear poodle mixes are great for this?) I tend to get up very early in the morning to go to school/work (read: 6am) so taking the dog out first thing in the morning for a short walk is no problem. I'd like a smaller breed of dog, one that doesn't do well with very long walks and prefers to cuddle rather than run around. (My boyfriend's mother's dog is just like that, you take her to the park for 20 mins a day and she gets tired and will lay on the couch the rest of the day). I also need a dog that is somewhat smart, even tempered and easily trainable.", "summary": "need a breed that: sheds very little, doesn't need frequent grooming, is small, is smart and easily trainable, isn't very active."} {"id": "t3_1t6ve9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/F] How to tell if a guy [22/M] is just using you for sex or actually will progress to something more in the future?", "post": "First of all, I'd like to apologize for the throwaway.\n\nMy question for you folks is as follows: How can I tell if the guy I've been 'seeing' is in this just for the sex or if eventually he may want to progress our relationship to something more?\n\nAt first it seemed quite clear to me that he was a decent guy. I met him in a bar, went home with him but he didn't try anything past the make out session. I saw him about a week later for dinner at my place after he was finished work and we had sex. I saw him again today, again just at my place, where we hung out and yes again had sex. He hasn't asked me to go somewhere public but I figured it's just because he's busy with work and I'm writing finals and it's a hard time for everyone. \n\nHe says things that make me think that he may have ideas about a realtionship in our future or at least dating. For example, there was a knock on the door today and he joked abut \"oh is that your other man, are you cheating on me?\" (When we have no spoken of being exclusive at all!) and when we talked about me being a picky eater he says \"what if I take you out and theres nothing there that you want to eat?\" There's the hinting at maybe us going on a 'proper' date. \n\nBut then my mind got all confused later when he stated that he had never had a \"fling\" with a redhead before. So, is that what he thinks this is? Just a fling?", "summary": "Boy sending mixed messages, hoping that he's not just hanging around for the sex. Not sure what he may be thinking?"} {"id": "t3_25tb5a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 3.5 years, are having a tattoo problem", "post": "Thank you so much everyone! During my process of seeing things from a different view I sometimes come across an issue that I still see \"the old way\" and need help to see it differently. I just got off the phone with the prettiest woman in the world and told her about my epiphany - thanks to you all. It basically boils down to the fact that I would rather preserve her persona and who she really is rather than preserve her body the way I want to. She is amazing and very patient with me through this process and it made her very happy to hear my new view of things. She decided to wait until I get there to get it so that I can be there by her side and we will have that positive connection to the tattoo. That, and I may get one of my own!\n\nYou are all amazing, thank you again so much for your insight!", "summary": "Girlfriend wants a tattoo, I don't like the idea. Need help to change my view so I feel better about it or find a way to compromise."} {"id": "t3_1fnykl", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Am I eating to little for my size? M/6'4\"/280lbs (Food Log Pictures Inside)", "post": "My goal is to lose weight. I recently started using [MapMyRun] ( and logged my food intake. When logging my food I would make sure to create my own item of food regarding what I have eaten as to which brand and amount eaten. I have made sure that I have not missed anything out in my food log. Here is my [Food Log] \n\nI don't feel hungry or thirsty at all. Today on the 4th of June I took two [Grenade Fat Burners] One after my breakfast and one after my lunch. I plan on taking 2 a day for 6 days and see how I do.\n\nCan I sustain this level of eating and still be healthy or will it put my body in starvation mode and slow down my metabolism?", "summary": "Eating Less. Counting Calories. Don't Feel Like I'm Eating Enough *But* I Don't Feel Hungry Either. Can I Keep Doing This And Not Die?"} {"id": "t3_41k74d", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "How do I(16/m) talk to this girl(14/f)?", "post": "So I've been going to this church for going on 2 years already. I know a good amount of people, go to youth group, etc. There's this one super pretty girl that I'm REALLY attracted to, unlike anything I've ever experienced. From what I've heard she's absolutely perfect. I know, she's 14, but she's a mature 14. I'm good friends with her best friend's brother, so that should help. Problem is I've never talked to this girl. I hold the door for her as often as possible, and she smiles and says thank you. Walking down the hall, I look at her, and she looks at me, etc. I'm not an introvert or socially awkward, but I am a bit shy(and super nervous in this case). I've never really talked to a girl before. And I'm homeschooled. But so is her best friend and the brother I'm friends with, and I have some evidence that points to her being homeschooled as well. I probably would have been talking with her by now if it weren't for my sister; she's 14, and super clingy, and she doesn't talk to hardly anyone. She always waits for me to go anywhere at the church, stuff like that. So that's my predicament. And the friend zone is also a thing. I also wouldn't know where to begin as far as how to talk to her/what to say. Help!", "summary": "I really like this girl that I haven't met, I have some connections, I need advice on how to meet her and talk to her."} {"id": "t3_4dm5xs", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[29/m] I don't know what else to do about how she [28/f] argues with me, and how I feel so unappreciated and excluded from her life.", "post": "I'll try to summarize everything as short and as vague as possible, specific details or questions I can answer through pms.\nSo I've known her for like three years, we initially dated for like 4 months, however due to my insecurity issues she left me for like a year. During that year I tried to contact her and made the problems worse, eventually I saw the error of my ways, left her alone, and worked on myself. I hit the gym, got professional counseling, started going out more, and became a more happy person. One day she came back and we decided to try again, we dated for like 2 months until she messaged me and said she was ready to be in a relationship with me, I accepted and we've been in a relationship for about 5 months now. The issues that pop up are she refuses to tell anyone about our relationship, through FB or in person, gets mad at me for liking other girls pictures in Facebook, and excludes me from friend group trips she promises to take me on, sometimes won't text me for days, but gets mad at me for doing the same etc...\nI do not want to break up with her I honestly do love her a lot, I've tried talking to her about it, but it just seems like she changes for a week or promises to do something, but then later on she just reverts back to how she is or breaks her promises.", "summary": "need help with how to deal with angry girlfriend that seems to just want to exclude me from her life as much as possible."} {"id": "t3_555i3s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22m] and my girlfriend [23f] are great together and I love her, but I can't stop thinking about being single and having sex with other girls.", "post": "I know it's wrong. We've been together a year now and it's been fantastic for the both of us. We're both been doing so well in our careers since getting together and we're both just so full of life.\n\nBut I can't help it when im at a party and a girl start a flirting with me to have that desire to want to kiss or something else with her. I've never cheated, but at times I've felt like doing it, which makes me feel so guilty.\n\nAll my closest friends are single right now and it doesn't help that they bring different girls home every week. I know for a fact they're not happy themselves with their lives right now, unlike myself with my girlfriend. So it confuses me why I desire their lifestyles so much.\n\nIs this a sign I should be single or is it something I'll grow out of? This is my first relationship.", "summary": "I look at other girls and want to have sex with them despite being in love with my girlfriend and my friend's casanova lifestyles don't help. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_d91dr", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Advice needed on long distance relationship", "post": "I'm in a long distance relationship with a girl i've been going out with for 1 year and about 8 months. I met her here in San Francisco as I was studying and she was working. She lived south of SF but I would commute on the weekends to see her (2 hours drive each way). We did that for a little less than a year. She then moved up here to the Bay Area where we could see each other more often. She stayed up here for about 6 months but finally had to go back home, Sweden. I went and visited her for the summer (2.5 months of awesome European fun!) and now I am back at home, with my last semester of school. She is just starting medical school which means she will have to stay in Sweden for 5 years. We talk twice a day on TokBox and I also purchased a MagicJack before I went to Sweden that I left with her so she can call me whenever she wants from that to my cell. I really love this girl. I've been in a few long relationships, three 1 year relationships but this is the first school who doesn't bore me. She's driven, smart, and extremely beautiful (she is a 5'11\" athlete with beautiful eyes and a captivating smile). I want to marry her. My question to the reddit community is: What tips do you have to make this long distance relationship work? What's a better program to talk than TokBox? Is TokBox limited by the camera each user uses? I am mainly interested in figuring out ways we can communicate each day that makes us feel better, video is always much better than calling because we tend to make a lot of silly faces at each other and generally fool around on the camera. What other tips do you have? She is a very loyal girl, but she is very bright, I don't want her to get bored. I know she is in love with me but I want to do everything I can to keep her.", "summary": "I am in a long distance relationship and I want some tips on how to keep it going. I also want to know what the best video chat program/software/webapp is."} {"id": "t3_vt8o1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Weirdest thing just happened to me.", "post": "So, the strangest thing just happened a few minutes ago. I was riding my bike home after getting out of my calculus class early, and I was nearly there when I hear a truck honk behind me. This happens fairly often on my travels to and from work and school from people I know honking to say hi to me. So I turn my head and give a quick wave but I cannot see who is in the drivers seat, so I look forward again. Then I hear a girl yell something at me so I turn again and I see that there are four people in the back of this truck and one of the girls is leaning out saying something to me. As the truck passed, the girl spit at me, missing by a large margin, and the truck speeds off. Now I am sure I had a pretty puzzled look on my face as I kept staring at them, and the girl laughs hysterically with her friends at this point and proceeds to flick me off. I quickly shrugged it off and gave a smile and a wave just to spite them for fun. Just before they turned the corner about 50 feet ahead of me or so, they all looked confused, and I don't know, I felt like I had won a small victory over some idiots with some quick passive aggressiveness. Now I feel slightly angry, but it's not that big of a deal, they were just a bunch of brats riding around being jerks.", "summary": "Got spit at and given the finger by a girl hanging out with her friends from a truck while riding my bike home, proceeded to smile and wave just to confuse and spite them."} {"id": "t3_2j0nef", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (M20) Made out with a friend (F20) when on drugs and now I don't know what to do.", "post": "Hello! Sorry if this isn't the right place to ask, redirect me to the right place if it isn't :) Sorry about my english but its not my native language.\n\nI got to know her the first day of school since I have started university in a new country two weeks ago. \nWe went out partying three times and she was obviously hitting on me all three nights. \n\nShe sleeps far away from the city centrum so she slept over at my place twice out of these three times , everytime she hugged me and held my hand while getting really touchy in bed. \n\nShe wants to have a serious relationship (according to her friends) but I want to not be bound since I wanna check around. \n\nNow here is the problem: 2 days ago we did speed together and we started making out. I am not very physically attracted to her so I don't want a relationship and I really really wanna keep her as friend because she's a good friend!\n\nYesterday we met up with a big group of friends and I avoided her as much as I could because I couldn't tell her, she was too wasted! \n\nI think she got the message, but I feel like I still need to explain it to her or our friendship will be awkward.\n\nDid I fuck up yesterday? How would you guys approach the talk? Should I be honest and just explain that I wanna see more people and bind myself the first month? Should I just act like nothing happened and hope the friendship is still intact? Is it a doomed friendship?", "summary": "new city** --> **make out with friend** --> **don't want more. she wants more** --> **I wanna keep friendship.**"} {"id": "t3_snnge", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's something 'hyped up' that you've tried, but didn't really like?", "post": "Obligatory \"I'll start\":\n\n Over the few months I've been redditing, I see commonly people praising root beer, a soft drink. Fair enough, it's probably awesome, but being an upside down person (read: Australian), root beer isn't a common product.\n\n The other day I was walking through local shopping center, and one of the specialty candy/chocolate shops had a fridge full of imported drinks that aren't made and distributed here properly (Dr. Pepper / Cherry, Grape Fanta, Mtn Dew Volt, Mtn Dew Code Red, Cherry Coke + a few others), namely one of which was a Root Beer!\n\n I purchased it, along with a Mtn Dew code red (usually get Dr. Pepper but was looking for new experiences), and I was excited to try it. This could be the next big thing in my life, root beer! I may be praising this for years to come!\n I crack it open, its nice and chilled, let off that nice little bit of mist you get from cracking a can, mmm can't wait. I bring it up to my nose and have a sniff.....smells odd, not bad, just a little odd and a little bit familiar. I was intrigued, and before long had a nice big ol' swig.\n\n OMG, this taste, it's not horrible, but.....it has a strange sense of familiarity. I took a few more sips, handed the can to the girlfriend. She had the same expression. I sat there, thinking for a good minute when I realised, [Deep Heat!] This drink, tastes as if someone liquified Deep Heat, and poured it into my cola!\n\n Needless to say I wasn't too impressed, and we ended up chucking half that can away :(. It wasn't horrible, it just wasn't a taste I'd crave.\n\n On the flip side, first time trying Mtn Dew Code Red, absolutely loved it.", "summary": "root beer tastes like cola and Deep Heat. I don't like it. Mtn Dew Code Red is awesome though."} {"id": "t3_1jwp5s", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I [25m] have invited this girl [25] over for dinner tomorrow as a third date. Here are all the insecurities I'm experiencing as a result:", "post": "Backstory: met on the internet, went for drinks 2 weeks ago, saw Pacific Rim (great movie, btw) last weekend, went for drinks, ended up at her place (nothing really happened, some touching, I guess) stayed up all night, I had to leave, invited her for dinner later in the week. When I left we kissed. Also, I have never had a girlfriend or sex. That's probably important to mention. I'm pretty normal other than that, though, I swear.\n\nList of fears, in no particular order:\n\n* She might not like my cooking\n* I'm probably bad at kissing, and she has undoubtedly spent the last week judging me\n* Might have been too reserved last time. Don't want her to think I am uninterested, or dispassionate, or a robot\n* Might end up coming on too strong from trying to compensate\n* If sex happens, I will be paralyzed with dread.\n* What movie should I put on?\n* I think I was too engrossed in the movie last time to pay attention to her and I'd like to not do that again\n* My mind won't stop coming up with additional things to worry about\n* I don't have panic attacks, but I might be having panic attacks\n* This is all shit I should have been going through when I was 17\n* I'm probably missing a lot of info that would help people form an opinion on me and my situation.", "summary": "I'm grossly overthinking the sitch with this girl and I'm looking for some advice or soothing words to ease my worried mind."} {"id": "t3_35ra20", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [17 M] tell my prom date[17 F] I have feelings for her?", "post": "So basically I asked a girl to prom around January and she said yes. I mainly asked her because I think she's very pretty, and being around her, as limited as it is, makes me very happy and I always have a good time. When I asked her to prom I never said if we were going as friends or not (a pretty big mistake, I know), and like I said I don't get to talk to her much throughout the day. We're going with a group of friends in two weeks, and I don't really know how I should tell her that I have feelings for her and want a long-term relationsip. Is that even a possibility at this point, or is all lost? If there's still hope, is this something I should bring up at prom or before?", "summary": "Have a crush on prom date and don't know if we're going as a platonic couple or something more. How do I tell her I have feelings for her?"} {"id": "t3_2sbjez", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [34 M] with my ex [28 F]. Haven't talked in over a year. Inappropes to ask if she's going to a party if looking to avoid?", "post": "We had a meet-cute at a party two years ago. So many things went wrong or sideways and that's how we ended up talking--so many other things went wrong or sideways and that's how we ended up dating. Fell so fast it scared me until she told me she loved me too. Swapped keys, quit condoms, talked about when we'd have kids and when I'd propose. You know: a serious relationship.\n\nIt didn't last. And even when she left me, I made every effort to preserve what I thought would be our friendship. It wasn't to be, and a month later she'd jumped into a relationship with a good friend of mine, and so many of the lies she'd told and infidelities she'd committed became clear. We've barely spoken since--I'm the sort of chump who still cares about everybody he's ever cared about and the (thankfully few) shitty ones still hurt. I don't like seeing her but generally I just ignore her.\n\nNext week is that party where we met two years ago. Same host. Same occasion. The hostess is a good friend and I'd love to go, but. If my ex is there with her fiance, I'd rather not see them. Not on a night when I can't help remembering how many things fell into place to create one of the cruelest jokes life will ever play on me--every contortion I put myself through to disbelieve the obvious, every time I cried, every friend I lost.\n\nIs it totally unreasonable that I ask her to tell me if she's going so I can avoid her if I have to?", "summary": "still sore about an ex from two years ago. Second anniversary of our meeting is next week--the party we met at. Is it reasonable to ask her to tell me if she's going? Not sure I can handle the reminder."} {"id": "t3_1iq6cq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] have a huge crush on my co-worker [22F]. Was I just friend-zoned?", "post": "I get along extremely well with this girl. We have the exact same sense of humour and never run out of things to talk about. \n\nI'm always really shy around girls, and was too scared to straight up ask her out. Basically there was an event in the city that we both really wanted to go to, so I casually asked if she would want to go, and she agreed. But when it came to the day, a couple of her friends showed up too. I really wanted it to just be the two of us.\n\nI still have a crush on her, but I don't want things to be weird between us at work. I'm a relationship noob and this was the first girl I ever really liked.\n\nWas I definitely friend-zoned?", "summary": "Co-worker and I were to meet up after work. Her friends showed up. Am I in the friend zone?"} {"id": "t3_2kz26n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [24F] told me [25M] that she had 5 \"fuck-buddies\" on call prior to when we started dating, and it bothers me.", "post": "My girlfriend and I live together. We have been together for 2 years. We get along pretty well. She is smart, caring, motivated and very pretty\n\nLast night I was DDing home from a Halloween party. My girlfriend was very drunk and started talking about how much she loves me, and that when we met she immediately knew that she wanted to be with me, and how crazy it was because she immediately stopped contacting her 5 \"fuck-buddies\" (yes, she used that term). She realized she had said something that bothered me but I played it off, and I don't think she knows how uncomfortable I am.\n\nI never knew much about her sexual history prior to dating me. We had talked about exes, and got tested for STDs pretty early on (just in case) but I never asked for any of the details so I had no idea that she was so promiscuous.\n\nHere's the crazy thing: I think I'm upset, primarily because I'm jealous! My girlfriend has always been pretty, popular, and outgoing. She is very charismatic and people have always loved being around her. She partied and dated through highschool, college, and after college up until meeting me. To put it simply, she has spent a lot of time playing the field.\n\nI, on the other hand, haven't really had that kind of experience. I had a painfully awkward highschool career, and a very rough first couple years of college. I've developed a lot since then (mentally, physically, and socially) but outside of a few relationships I haven't had very much casual sex.\n\nI know I should just be really happy that she chose a monogamous relationship with me over her 5 fuck-buddies, but what I really feel is like I missed out. I wish I had had the same kind of experience when I was younger.\n\nAm I completely irrational? Should I talk to my girlfriend about this or suck it up?", "summary": "My girlfriend told me she was seeing 5 \"fuck-buddies\" immediately before we started dating, and it bothers me."} {"id": "t3_4oaomg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [32f] mother [58f] wants me to include my brother [20m] in our Father's [60m] day plans. I don't want to ruin the day, but I really do not want him there.", "post": "I will try to be as clear as possible, but I am not the best writer.\n\nI cannot tolerate my brother. He has Asperger's, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia that he mostly refuses to take medication for. He is prone to violent outbursts, and has injured both my mother and father in the past. I believe he sexually touched my then-2 year old daughter several years ago - I called the police, took her in to Family and Children's services, counseling, but she was too young and we weren't able to prove anything.\n\nMost recently, my brother stole my dad's truck for a period of 3 days. When he finally returned it, the police refused to arrest him because apparently in Oklahoma, stealing a family member's vehicle is a civil matter(?). Anyway, my parents were able to convince him at that time to check himself into a mental health facility.\n\nHe got out about a week ago, and has been living in their home since then. My parents constantly threaten to kick him out, but never take any action on it, probably because they are afraid of him.\n\nAnyway, Sunday is Father's Day, and my mother is putting the pressure on, saying they can't just go out to dinner with me and my husband and children and not bring him. I think they are afraid of how he will react.\n\nAm I unreasonable to be firm that he is not invited? Or should I try to see things from their perspective and how poorly they may be impacted if I don't allow him to tag along?", "summary": "My brother is emotionally, physically, and potentially sexually abusive, and my mom wants me to allow him to be a part of our Father's Day plans"} {"id": "t3_2k4w3s", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by branding my testicles.", "post": "So, like most posts here, this didn't happen today. Actually happened around 2 months ago.\n\nLet's just jump right into this. As a guy who thoroughly enjoys blowjobs, I like to make sure that my boys are nice and clean for the girlfriend who is about to spend a few minutes down there. While not necessarily in an unclean state, I like to at least freshen up. While the girlfriend was upstairs getting ready for bed I decided to clean myself up in anticipation in the bathroom like I'm preparing for the Queen's presence. Normally I would use a towel to clean off, but unfortunately they had all been taken away for laundry.\n\nKeep in mind her family is still in the house so I can't go running around looking for a towel while I'm dripping from my dangle berries. Her room is right around the corner and I know there is a small wall connected heater we use to keep the room warm in winter. Bingo! Run inside her room and get that going. At this point I've got the heater running and laying on the ground while I crouch over it to dry myself off. This particular heater has a metal plating on the cover with holes where the heat is blown through. \n\nHear her footsteps coming and shit! Not dry enough yet! Dip a little lower without knowing how close and I am until I feel the heat from hell on my testicles.. Ended up leaving a neat branding pattern on my balls of balls! \n\nStill got head.", "summary": "Washed testciles. Dried testicles over heater with metal face shield. Branded testicles. Got head."} {"id": "t3_4fqwd7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my friend [20 M] 7 years, I can tell he is depressed and feeling down lately but am unsure how to approach it.", "post": "I have a friend called \"Paul\". I've known Paul for a rather long time and I've grown to know him very well. That said when it comes to our emotions or how we feel, like a lot of men we don't dare discuss it. \n\nPauls lifestyle is a bit strange and is contributing towards his depression. Paul works in a bank 9-5 five days a week and brings in good money. He still lives at home with his parents which is not too uncommon for his age in the country where we are from. All his income goes towards video games and upgrading his PC as that's his passion. Although Paul enjoys being social and having a social life he doesn't have one as his life is work than video games rinse and repeat. \n\nHe often complains about his lack of a social life outside of me and his lack of a love life too but doesn't appear to be making any changes to his lifestyle to remidy it. This has caused him to become very bitter lately. he's more passive-aggressive, defensive and rejecting of others company preferring to be alone now. I went to school with Paul and have known him for a long time and I've slowly watched him change from a happy social person to a bitter sad and lonely one. \n\nI understand that if he wants to play video games and work and not see people outside of those two things that is his choice but it actively makes him unhappy, he's frequently upset at these video games and people around him in his life too. Due to the nature of our relationship (not talking about our feelings) I am unsure how I can help Paul take action and notice his ways. Maybe I shouldn't say anything at all and let him do as he pleases.", "summary": "Close long term friend is clearly unhappy and I am unsure how to approach him about it as we have never talked about our feelings / emotions, as well as he might get defensive."} {"id": "t3_20ief0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (29f) kicked out my bf(26m) of 3 years. I regret it, it was probably for the best though.", "post": "Super long tedious story short. We have a child together, we also have ridiculously frequent arguments where we are both verbally abusive to one another. I am by no means an easy person to live with and neither is he. He is also increasingly physically abusive to me. We've separated twice in the past, this time around I had threatened to kick him out if he hit me again. He called my bluff several times. The other day was the last straw and I made good on my threat and kicked him out.\n\n I don't want our child to grow up in the mess that our relationship was. The house is so calm without him here. I'm thinking about seeing someone to work through the feelings I have over this whole thing. \n\nI'm worried about him though, he doesn't have a cell phone so I can't call him, and he doesn't know many people where we live. \n\nThe whole shit show has my head spinning.", "summary": "I kicked my abusive bf out, I don't want all of the negativity around our kid. I'm still worried about him, but us being over is for the best."} {"id": "t3_27xy8d", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "BF [30m] broke up with me [20f] last night. Had threesome with friends [19m]", "post": "I am a 20 year old female and my on again off again SO is 30 year old male. We've been together for seven months now and we've lived together for ten months. We have an amazing sex life and we used to get along quite well. Since we've gotten evicted from our apartment it's been a bumpy ride. With all this added stress and looking for a place we've both been easily agitated. Safe to say we could of avoided a lot of break ups by just holding our tongues or taking a breath.\nOkay so fast forward to last night. We got in a disagreement and i began being to pushy. He decided to not listen and he broke it off with me. (I know this is a stupid cycle).\nI bumped into two of my guy friends and we went back to their place and kept drinking. (I already had quite a bit of hard liquor prior to bumping into them). One thing led to another and we ended up having a threesome this morning.\nSo.....since me and my SO had broken up, generally I didn't do anything wrong right? Because I feel extremely guilty and if he comes back.....should I tell him? Because I'm not good at keeping secrets and I feel like I betrayed him.....and I feel like I don't deserve him anymore. Gah what should I do??!?!?!", "summary": "Me and So of 7 months broke up last night. Bumped into two long term guy friends and had threesome with them this morning. Feeling guilty and need advice."} {"id": "t3_3sg3is", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "I'm getting a kitten for Christmas *Squee* Now I need some help picking the right breed.", "post": "Hello /r/cats \n\nMy SO just surprised me by telling me I'll be getting a kitten for Christmas! He wanted to keep it a surprise but he also wants to be sure that I get the cat that I want so he thought it best to tell me in advance. Frankly, almost any cat will do since we've had a lot of different (mixed breed) cats when I was little and I loved every one of them.\n\nThe most important aspect for me is that the cat is social, I want a cat that would just cuddle and sleep on my lap all day. Now I know every cat is different, but there are breeds that are supposed to be more prone to be lap cats.\n\nThe most important for my SO is that the breed is hypoallergenic since he's pretty allergic to cats as in he'll be sneezing all day when he's been in contact with a cat or if he's in a house where cats live. Although, I fear he'll have an allergic reaction regardless of the breed since we've had a friend's Siberian cat over for a few weeks when she was on vacation. Siberians are supposed to be hypoallergenic but he was still sneezing a lot. \n\nAnother important thing is we live in a medium sized apartment with a small terrace. The cat would have to be comfortable with living indoors. \n\nIn regards to our free time, I work 10 hour shifts 4 days in a row with a guaranteed 3-day weekend and 1 hour breaks where I can eat at home. So I'd be out of the house for about 4 hours before lunch and then again for about 5 hours and free during the weekend, I think that's not too long for a cat to be alone. At the moment my SO is unemployed but the plan is he'll have a job again by the time we'll actually get the cat.\n\nIn the end I'll have to choose which cat I get but I just wanted to hear from you guys about your cats and what makes them special. Did you pick a specific breed or just a random cat from a shelter? Are you or your family allergic and how did that affect your decision to get a cat?", "summary": "SO just told me I'll be getting a kitten for Christmas and I want some inspiration for picking a breed. Conditions are:"} {"id": "t3_15nutp", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Didn't do too well over Christmas break.", "post": "Basic Info: M 19/6'0/233 lbs (105 kg).\n\nSo around the middle of November I decided that I need to make a change in my lifestyle before my weight gets to out of hand. I started counting calories, running with the C25k program, doing pushups, sit-ups, and other exercises. I had been doing very well and had lost over 10 lbs going in to Christmas break.\n\nThen I go to my grandmom's house to celebrate the holidays and of course my grandmom being amazing like she is cooks really good food. At first I promised myself that I was only going to cheat on Christmas day and I did that during the first half of the week. After Christmas I pretty much crumbled, eating an entire large popcorn with butter all by myself when we went to the movies, eating way more than I needed too, didn't run or do any exercise for that matter, etc.\n\nI get back home and was scared to get back on the scale to see how much of my lost weight I had put back on. I was expecting to have gained 3-4 pounds back, but it turned out that I had gained 7 lbs back. I felt awful. That was over half of the weight that I had worked so hard to lose.\n\nSo now I am posting here hoping to get back on track or something. I don't know maybe I am just ranting right now because I am fairly upset. I don't know if any of you have gone through something similar to this, but if you have I would appreciate any info or experiences you have.", "summary": "Was doing really well with weight loss, slipped a lot over Christmas break and gained back over half of the weight I had lost."} {"id": "t3_1vokfl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [33M] am going out with my friend's [27M] enemy. She [29F] really screwed him over a few years ago. Should I tell him? What should I say?", "post": "A few years ago, before he and I were friends, my friend Jake was involved in a business of sorts with several people including several friends/acquaintances of mine (including Kathy). That business ended in strife and fiasco, culminating in Kathy and her (at the time) BF (also a friend of mine then), reneging on a handshake deal, forcing the others out, leaving them with no equity after years of work. That what Kathy and her BF did was wrong is not in dispute. It was awful. In the aftermath, the entire social scene in which we were all in rallied behind Jake and the others and basically exiled Kathy and her BF. At the time, I wasn't especially close to any of those involved and, though I privately disapproved of Kathy and her (at the time) BF's actions, I have maintained casual social relationships with both of them. \n\nBut Jake has become one of my closest friends. We organize events together and hang out often. He is still very much devastated by the experience with Kathy and the others. He avoids social events where either Kathy or her ex would attend. If he is at an event and they walk in, he will likely leave.\n\nIt's been 3 years now. And recently Kathy has been interested in hanging out with me. There has always been attraction between us and, frankly, I would have dated her years ago if not for the bad taste left by the failed business and because I know it would bother Jake. Kathy and I are going on a date this week. I imagine it will go well. Meanwhile, I'm wondering what, if anything, I should say to Jake about it. And when? Should I wait til it's serious or a regular thing with her? I can't see a reconciliation between them anytime soon. If it matters at all, Kathy would never be my primary partner so I could, conceivably keep her and Jake very easily out of each others' faces. But, if he learns about this, Jake will likely feel betrayed.", "summary": "I'm going on a date with an old friend who, a few years back, screwed over a really good friend on a business deal. What do I say to my friend, who will likely feel betrayed?"} {"id": "t3_3yo5k3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (18F) Manager keeps \"forgetting\" the amount of hours I can physically work and when I am available. I feel like she is trying to trick me.", "post": "I am an 18F who is in college, so I work part time at a small local fresh market in my city. The reason why I got hired is because my mom and sister have been there for 5 years now. I was hired last may in a different department within the store. I cannot work more than 5 hours at a time due to back problems, and I made this clear within the second week of being hired. I paid $40 for a doctor's note that says I can work up to 5 hours at a time for 3-4 weeks. During the week I can only work after 4 due to school and an hour commute to get to work.\n\nOver my time being there, she always schedules me at 3 during weekdays and I have to call to remind her I can only come in at 4. She doesn't get upset but I feel like if I didn't call in she would be. She also tried to schedule me for a 6 hour shift, 7 hour shift, and an 8 hour shift over this holiday. I had to politely remind her I can't do more than 5 hours and that I would let her know when I am physically able to because I do appreciate the hours. \n\nThis has happened so many times though, how can I remind her for the 7th time that I can't do more than 5 hours? I feel like she's trying to sneak them in and hopefully I'll do them but I really can't mess up my back. \n\nI don't want to keep reminding her, I feel like she should respect the work I can do and if she isn't happy she should find someone else.", "summary": "back problems, manager keeps sneaking in 8 hour shifts when I can only do 5 (i got a doctor's note)"} {"id": "t3_1oetq5", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Birthday Greeting Card advice/feedback", "post": "So what I'm doing is providing links to images showing a greeting card I plan to print for my SO though I'm posting here because I'm curious what others think of the card. Essentially what would you think if you got it.\n\nThe size of the card is 6.25\" x 9\" (planning on getting a white envelope for this card, seems like the normal)\n\nI don't know if anyone has seen the show Arrested Development or not, it recently made a comeback with Netflix's assistance. Long story short she's a huge fan so I made one for her off some material from the seasons. Front of the card comes from this scene: \n\nThe style of the card is themed after the posters released for the season 4 return of the show. Here is a link to those. \n\nThis link is for the outside of the bday card\n\nThis link is for the inside of the bday card\n\nAny thoughts to critiques or feedback is appreciated. If nothing else hopefully someone will come across arrested development as a new show", "summary": "Making a custom birthday greeting card for SO, she is a loving fan of the show arrested development so I tailored one with an arrested development theme and am looking for feedback."} {"id": "t3_1w8qdh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my mother [50F], have been arguing about video games for years. She is going too far.", "post": "I, like many other people my age, enjoy playing video games. I'm a student, and I focus on school for a good chunk of my time, and when I can, I play video games with friends online. On weekends, I often play from around 10 or 12 P.M. until 4 A.M. (at the latest). My mother doesn't like this, as she thinks it is unhealthy.\n\nLast night, she freaked out on me and took my keyboard, along with my headset, so I obviously can't play. I was playing a game that relies very heavily on voice chatting, and I was too loud. At around 4, she started going off on me for staying up so late. After taking my stuff, she told me that I am banned from using it for at least a week or two.\n\nI really enjoy the immersion and carelessness that playing video games gives me. I am in some difficult classes at school, and it often stresses me out. Video games are my escape from that stress, but she took that away for what in my opinion is a very silly reason.\n\nI need to find a way to resolve this issue, to both improve her view on the whole situation, our relationship, and for her to allow me to do this. Do any of you have ideas as to what I could do to resolve this? I am by no means unhealthy, if that matters. She has been doing things like his for around 2 years now, and I am flat out sick of it.", "summary": "My mother is too controlling over my time playing video games. I need a solution for our arguments and her punishments for silly reasons."} {"id": "t3_2yedr5", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Life is mildly exploding (but in a boring white-collar way)", "post": "I feel almost bad asking for help because really Im not in bad straights...but I'm so mentally lost right now I feel I'm at the edge of simply exploding. \n\nI have a good Masters program on my resume in interaction ux etc. (computer design) and worked for one of those shiny companies as an intern (apple/microsoft/twitter/facebook etc. trying to be anonymous so I won't say which one) \n\nI've been working for almost 2 years at a good but slightly less shiny company. In the last year things have gotten pretty bad. I'm still producing good work but my manager's incompetancy has left me so distraught I'm nearly comatose when I get home from depression. \n\nRecently things happened where I might be fired. I should fight it I think it is based on false perceptions the manager has put forth...but really I just dont' want to be here anymore. \n\nI came close to a good job out in SF but came in close but not quite....and came close to another at another shiny company but once again, close but not quite. \n\nThe fact I keep coming close but not quite is getting to me. And the firing may happen fairly soon. My sense of self is very related to doing good work....people ask what my goals in life are but really my career is might top priority? So the fact this manager has left me feelign lost for so long...\n\nBasically I should be able to get a good job. But I'm just feeling incredibly lost...I keep on applying to jobs but I don't know what I'll do if I'm fired. My family is all in areas where I wouldn't be able to find work. I'm sure if I can get to SF/NY/Seattle I can find a good UX/Design/Tech job but I don't know how to afford that first step...part of that is my fault I've been trying to pay off my student loans quickly rather than saving (I honestly didn't expect this firing, I thought I was safe for a few years).", "summary": "I'm sure I can get a job in SF if I can get there, I have a good resume, but my current job has left me so depressed I worry I'm coming off badly in communications. "} {"id": "t3_3e8vok", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Form 18 Worker's Compensation in North Carolina", "post": "So I strained my back on the job and was not able to work for a week. My employer happily sent me to a doctor and got prescribed some meds to help with the pain. A week later I received a letter in the mail asking for my medical information to be released that pertained to the injury. Also the form 18 was sent and form 25T which covers mileage and travel compensation. \n\nI'm just a part time employee about 20 hours a week, 4 hrs a day, 5 days a week. \n\nI don't want to claim the compensation. I just want them to take care of the x Ray and the doctor visit. The doctors office is like 3-4 miles down the road from my work place. And it seems they have already done that since I did not pay anything for the meds or the doctor visit. \n\nI am not looking to claim any lost wages, I was able to return to work on light duty but I just asked for the week off since I didn't feel like working the rest of the week.\n\nI will gladly release my medical information that pertains to the injury since its not that serious of a issue to me. Never been hospitalized in my life or had any health issue so I do not mind.", "summary": "Got hurt, didn't have to pay for doctor visit or the meds prescribed, I do not want to pursue anything else, do I need to fill these forms out? (Form 18 and 25T)"} {"id": "t3_4kt4xx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 F] have been dating this guy [25 M] for a month, i suspect i am his rebound girl", "post": "So i'm dating this guy for a month now,and i recenlty found out that i might be his rebound girl due to a song he posted on facebook.I don't know if i should take its lyrics literally,but when i sat and thought about it i remembered him saying that he had a big crush on a girl which didn't lead into a relationship,and they cut contact a month before we met.I didn't even pay any attention to it at the time,but now i think he might not be completely over her and he might be using me to forget her.\n\nI , on the other hand , recently got out of a bad situation with a guy,but it was not a relationship and i am over him and ready to move on. I'm not sure what i was expecting from the guy i'm seeing now,i was not thinking about a relationship cause it's too soon i think,but i certainly don't know what i should do now.I am having a great time with him and before this facebook post everything was good.So should i confront him and stop seeing him,or should i say nothing and keep seeing him knowing im nothing more to him than the rebound girl?", "summary": "I found out i might be the rebound girl of the guy i have been dating for a month and i don't know how to deal with it"} {"id": "t3_1vdlly", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [18/m] am considering breaking up with my GF [16/f] - problem is, she is depressed and I'm afraid of what she might try to do.", "post": "First of all this is a throwaway account, if that matters in any way. And I'm sorry if I didn't use the correct formatting.\n\nI'm really concerned for her mental well being. She admitted to me that last night she tried to drown herself because she wanted to set me free, and to set her mind free. She told me whenever I leave she starts to cry because she is alone then, and that she is afraid of losing me over her depression. She says when she is alone she can't distract herself from how she feels and that I am the only thing that makes her happy. I'm concerned, because my last girlfriend said the same thing, and that relationship ended on really bad terms. She is almost always sick lately, and her dad is not the most supportive father in the world, neither is her mom. She is on medication but I guess it isn't working. I don't know what to do Reddit. I'm concerned because if I'm the only thing she relies on it will only bring me down and affect my school work, and I'll be off to college close to home at the end of the year, so who knows what would happen then. I can't afford that. I feel almost guilty now. I don't know how to handle this, or what the proper course of action is.", "summary": "I want to break up but I'm afraid of how she might react, if I stay I'm afraid I'm ruining my own life."} {"id": "t3_2o5hq2", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by overcharging a disabled man", "post": "TIFU. I work at a vet clinic and yesterday a man came in to get x rays for his cat. For those of you who don't know x rays for a cat are around 500$. I told him the price and he was reluctant but said he had to do what he had to do. He asked if there was a discount for disabled people (he only has one arm) and I tell him unfortunately no.\n\nHere's where I fuck up, at the time of drop off owners are only required to pay 75%, he wanted to pay this now and the rest later. I warned him the price may go up depending on how many xrays or if there are needs needed. He asks his sister to sign the paperwork for him as he only has one arm and it works be quicker and leaves.\n\nLater on, we do add charges and when he comes to pick up his pet I charge him out according to my program. The day is over and I'm looking over the sales for the day. The computer is 111$ over. I look through all the receipts and realize I never charged the poor man his 75%, I charged him the full 100% and then charged him for the remainer PLUS the meds. \n\nMy manger looks at me and makes me call him and ask for the card number to refund him right away. I call and he struggles to find the card I'm ashamed, get the card number say goodbye. I try to run it through the machine \"UNSUPPORTED CARD\". YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! I call him again mortified at this point and explain, I get the right number he gets his refund.", "summary": "I over charged a disabled man's vet bill when he didn't really have the money to spend. Called him to do a over the phone refund, copied the wrong card number, had to call him back. Mortified forever more."} {"id": "t3_2h43tq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with [25M], what do you do when you're a perfect match but the timing is wrong?", "post": "Sorry in advance if this is all over the place.\n\nI don't know what to do. He's told me he really likes me, we have amazing chemistry, we get along like wildfire. I haven't met someone like him in a long time. We went into this with the idea of being casual/friends with benefits but it became clear that there was way more there.\n\nHe's told me now that he can't do this because his life is busy. My life is busy too; I have my own career and I could potentially be moving overseas next year. But if something seems promising to me, I will make time for it. I've explained that relationships for me aren't a bit different, in that my field of work needs to come first and the relationship works alongside. I am fiercely loyal and I care about the people in my life deeply, but I am not clingy and not really into boyfriend/girlfriend dynamics. He's the same.\n\nI know he feels something for me. And I think he's scared. We've had a big talk about it and basically he just can't do me or whatever we have right now. I don't know why it hurts so much - we haven't known each other all that long. It shouldn't hurt this much.", "summary": "What do you do when you know somebody really likes you (and vice versa), all the components are there but the timing is wrong? And how the fuck do you get over letting go of someone this good?"} {"id": "t3_x0y7i", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Should I intentionally cross paths with my ex 3 hours from now?", "post": "I've been NC from my ex of 4 years for the past two months (despite her BS attempts at contacting me) and things have been much better for me. I have it on good authority that she has been losing sleep lately thinking about my having moved on with another girl. \n\nSince the breakup my roommate got me addicted to cross fit, I've lost 50lbs and have been on a tear with the ladies. As sick as what my ex makes me (see post history, it's fucking bad) I still care for her somewhat and am not entirely over her. She is moving out of the city at the end of this week and I want her to see the new me but must make it completely coincidental.\n\nShe gets off work at 5 p.m. and I know the route she walks to her parking garage (our jobs are very close together and I live in the neighborhood). I'm seriously considering going for a run and crossing her path. I'd be pleasantly polite, ask how she is doing but keep it very short and move along.\n\nIs this a good idea /r/Breakups? I want her to regret the decision she made and I want me to be on her mind and questionning her judgement. What's the best way to insure this?\n\nThanks for advice", "summary": "Tempted to \"coincidentally\" run into my white trash whore of an ex gf so she can eat her heart out. She is moving away this week and I want her to regret her decision."} {"id": "t3_1ijvw2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Another Update. My husband [36] walked out on me [33] on Monday after 13 years and I don't know what to do.", "post": "Here was my last update, 10 days ago, the links to the other posts are in there:\n\nThis is just another brief update. My husband yesterday asked me to start divorce proceedings using his adultery as the reason. He says I can have the house and full custody if the children because he's moving to Belgium to be with his online girlfriend.\nTo be clear, in Northern Ireland to get a divorce a married couple has to be living apart for two years (it hasn't even been three months) before a divorce can occur with consent from both people. Without consent the separation has to be five years. The exceptions to this are unreasonable behaviour or adultery-there are others but I've not sure what they are. So he can't start divorce proceedings, but I can.\n\nI'm completely amazed by this, he's throwing away his entire life for this woman he met online only 4 months ago, and has spent less than a week with in person, and that in London. He's never been to her country, her home, or met her child, yet he''s abandoning his own children to go raise someone else's. Not to mention he doesn't speak the language.\n\nAt this stage it feels like my husband has been replaced by a pod person, he so little resembles the man I married.", "summary": "My husband wants me to file for divorce on the grounds of his adultery and for me to have our home and full custody of our children so he can go live with his online girlfriend."} {"id": "t3_12y0an", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "GF (22F) wants to live with me (27M) when we move to Austin in a few weeks.", "post": "Ok. So we've been dating about six months and known each other about a year. We started out as casual friends that has turned into more.\n\nWe love each other, and it has honestly been the best relationship of my life, so far.\n\nI have a two-year-old son from a complicated situation I won't go into that I don't get to see much, but see as much as I can. My GF has been totally okay with it so there is no drama there. Just wanted to give as much info as possible.\n\nAnyways. We're both moving to Austin soon. As a matter of fact she actually was hired today for a position she wanted.\n\nToday, she brought up the idea of us moving in together because we both want to be near each other and it would save money.\n\nBoth of our parents would probably hate it, as they are kind of religious traditionalists, but they would probably get over it. However, even if it's a small concern, it still is one.\n\nI have never been so happy with someone, and would love to have her next to me every night.\n\nMy questions are:: What is your advice? Can anyone who has moved in with their SO give me advice? What should I expect and how did y'all go about the technical stuff?", "summary": "GF of six months wants to move in together. I've never been this committed to a relationship. Looking for advice and tips."} {"id": "t3_zgrhf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I want to know if I am in the wrong or not", "post": "I rent a basement suite from a guy, and our room started smelling a little funny a couple weeks ago. Finally this past weekend we were doing a thorough cleaning and I came across some water on the bedroom floor against the wall opposite the laundry room. We then realized that this is where the smell is coming from. There was also a little bit of water on the laundry room floor (perhaps from the water tank).\n\n After moving the dresser that is along that wall, I notice that my dresser is completely wrecked and covered in a black substance. I thought this was black mold, so we informed the landlord and he came, helped pull back the carpet so it could dry, removed the baseboards etc. He then said he would take a look at it the next day. My GF and I thought it may have been black mold (neither of us has been exposed to mold/mildew so we weren't too sure) so we kept the windows open in the bedroom, kept a fan on the floor and slept on the couch. I also had to buy a brand new $200 dresser to replace the old one.\n\n After 2 nights of sleeping on the couch I talked to my landlord again and he said he would fix it the following day after work. I told him I was concerned because I thought it might have been black mold but he said it was just mildew (again I don't know the difference). I then asked if he could maybe help cover part of the dresser that got ruined and he laughed, said no, and then said \"what about the water damage\" as if it was my fault. reddit, do you think I am in the wrong here?", "summary": "Laundry room leaked into bedroom in basement I rent, wrecked my dresser, asked landlord if he would help pay for new one and now he wants me to pay for water damage."} {"id": "t3_2asq3b", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Girlfriend(19f) wants to explore sexuality with women while in relationship with me (22m), I am not ok with it.", "post": "A few days ago my girlfriend brought up the topic of her making an ok cupid account to meet cool girls to be friends with and possibly have sex with if that was a thing they both wanted to do. I told her that that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable and that I felt as if she would be cheating on me. even though she would not be having sex with men she is still having sex with another person. She said that Is ok and it won't happen. I still can't get over it though. It's been on my mind since we've talked about it. I asked her if a threesome is something that would help her explore her sexuality, She said she would like that but still may feel the need to explore with women on her own eventually and I feel incredibly sad about that. I'm just sad that she feels the need to explore sexually by herself while we are in a relationship. I would feel betrayed if it were to happen and incredibly jealous of her friendship with her \"lover\". I know she already said that It won't happen, but I can't help feeling like it's going to resurface at some point and she's going to want them even more. I also feel really crappy about saying no to her experimentation. I know I'm not ok with it, I just want her to be able to do what she has to do to feel satisfied in any aspect of her life. I don't feel like me saying no is healthy for her. My mind is running about a million miles a minute and any advice or insight from anyone with any experiences similar or not. Advice from anyone feeling the way my girlfriend does would be the most help. I want to understand what she is feeling and I can't.", "summary": "My girlfriend wants to explore her bisexuality and I don't feel with her doing it alone while we are in a relationship."} {"id": "t3_1lszmj", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I (27m) suck at talking and am insensitive to her (27f) feelings, unintentionally. (the song)", "post": "When we started I was your dream person, but every now and then you say I'm such a mean person, crying time apart torn up hearts leave dreams worsened, now I'm lost to wonder if you're just gonna leave this person.\n\nSaying that it's too late to communicate, and that every time I'd try to communicate it always turns to hate, yet in the same hour your claims are that life's great, and I'm the most amazing person you'd ever had the chance to date, turn around twice find crystallized salt dried on your face.\n\nOh foolish fate, boosting the edge to jump, I'm fucked in the head, you're done, what have I said, I'm dumb, we sleep in a bed of crumbs, made from shattered dreams to come, so we sit it silence, well practically silence, the only escapable sound is the tears dripping from your eyelids, I can't fumble for the right thing to say I'm fully blind and guide less, too far for any advices trust me I've already tried then, overall just hoping the end won't come, just off of something as stupid of what I've said or done, when all in comparison it's my bad with good being a million to one, pondering who's right or wrong.\n\nOr if there is even a difference, when it comes down to it its two lovers different opinions, you say that you love, but wait, I know that I love, but hate, the extrapolation of what I say, twisted word shrapnel blowing up in my face, but I know with all certainty it's worth it all, every branch that I hit its still worth the fall, if only my words were better phrased when you heard them call, than you could keep your love and it wouldn't hurt at all.", "summary": "It seems no matter how good things are the bad always trumps the good in the end and now I feel like I'm unintentionally ruining a beautiful relationship, and that we both most likely need psychiatric help."} {"id": "t3_33flef", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "my friend [~21 F](who I asked out and got rejected) invites me over every now and again me [20 M] feels kind of weird about it", "post": "So I asked out this girl i had known for about a year. We were just friends for a while but the compulsion came over me and well i went for it. Anyway she says no to me, which, being fair, is her decision and while I took it as a hit but still I move on and she moves on. She is going out with this dude who is a pretty alright guy, we have different interests but hey who doesn't?\n\nSo things obviously get a little tense around this girl and we began to hangout very sparingly. Eventually she asks me to hang out with her and her boyfriend but it just feels awkward. I am the only one carrying conversation and if just becomes kind of annoying. Recently I have been just blowing off her calls so I feel like shit for doing that because it is just plain rude but at the same time I really just am uncomfortable around them. Hoe do I handle this?\n\nedt: (this is a comment I made to another redditor which I think might make things a bit more clear)\n\n\"Well she is not the manipulative type, more quirky than anything else. I think she is coming from a place of genuine interest in the friendship but it still feels weird to me. also I knew her boyfriend before they went out. I met him at work but very rarely saw him outside of it.\"", "summary": "I ask out friend I have had for a year, she says no, she invites me to hang out, the hangout is awkward. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_2ip465", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18F] not sure if I should continue a friendship with my best guy friend [17M].", "post": "I've been friends with this guy around 3 years, but we didn't become really close until the end of this summer. I went through a rough break up in March, and he went through one in May. \n\nWe have a similar sense of humor, so we get along pretty well, although we're both pretty opinionated so sometimes little debates turn into arguments, but we always get over it pretty quickly. \n\nSince day one he's been very clear that he's not attracted to me and isn't looking for a relationship. I used to be interested in him, but when we started becoming close I wasn't, and a relationship wouldn't fit into my life right now. However, as time passes, he's done some things out of character, like pay me compliments saying I'm gorgeous, making plans a day ahead of time (usually they were very last minute), and most importantly getting very cuddly. \n\nWe tell each other everything, and I enjoy the mutual support, but a few days ago he asked me if I would ever want a boyfriend without the commitment of a relationship, which I answered no to. However, the cuddle factor has still been happening. \n\nMy issue is, I'm finding myself becoming attached to him. Honestly, now I like him. I know neither of us are looking for a relationship, and he's likely not interested anyway, at least not for anything with commitment. I really don't see this ending in a way that doesn't hurt my feelings. But I feel like if I cut physical contact, it'll be obvious, and things will get weird fast, and likely end with us not being close. Should I try that, or am I at the point where I have to bail on the friendship?", "summary": "Finding myself becoming attached to best guy friend who isn't interested, wondering if I should ditch the friendship before I get hurt."} {"id": "t3_26nk5y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 F] worry if my boyfriend [20M] of three years never shows his love for me and I dont think its there anymore, is that normal?", "post": "I've been dating my boyfriend since highschool and we've worked seemingly perfectly (no fights, shave views, things in common, etc). My problem is that I can't seem to shake the feeling that he doesn't really love me anymore, let alone like me.\n\nLately, it's gotten worse because I've started to notice how unbalanced out relationship is as I praise him all the time, initiate sexy time (lol), give him massages when he's sore, always pay for dinner/movies/etc, even tie his shoes and carry his backpack if he's lazy.. really anything. Its just my way of saying I love you since Im really bad with words so I try to show it rather than say it. \n\nBut he...doesn't do anything. He never tells me why he loves me he just says he does everynight out of routine. If I'm lazy to do something he just says something like \"well sucks...\" etc. He never makes me feel truly wanted sexually and I just feel like any old friend of his he keeps because its easy. Kisses, yeah. You look pretty today, yeah. But it feels too robotic, like theres no real passion or love anymore. \n\nOutward appreciation gradually decreased after the first 6 months. Everytime I've brought something like this up he just acts like its so obvious that he loves me dearly.. but he never shows it. \n\nI feel like I uneccesarily compare it to other peoples relationships where men buy their SOs flowers and have romantic dates planned and elaborate love letter. I used to do all these sweet things until I felt shot down with the way he half assed or didnt reciprocate. It being such a one way street sucks. \n\nI feel like its always my job to treat him like a princess and never the other way around. I just want to feel loved and appreciated equally. What do I do about it? \n\nSo do I talk to him about it again? Will it change? Is it just a guy thing? \n\nThank you for anyone who reads all this and helps me out. I really appreciate it.", "summary": "Feels like my SO doesn't really like me, despite him saying he loves me daily, he doesnt do squat to show it. Confused if it's in my head or I should I talk to him about this?"} {"id": "t3_2l8u9m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (21M) unsure how to break up with college girlfriend (19F) as it becomes more distant (1 yr relationship)", "post": "I've been with my girlfriend over a year now, and I just feel like we have disconnected. We see each other about once a week, rarely doing anything sexual anymore, and it seems impossible ever to meet with her. \n\nShe is a very busy student who is in a ton of clubs and is pre-med so I understand why she is busy, but it's gotten to the point where I never expect her to be free. This is a super stressful semester for her, so I don't want to like break up with her right now, but I'm thinking that could be the case. I'd probably have to go home for winter break before she finished finals so it'd be unlikely that we could do it then.\n\nI was thinking of doing it soon, like a week or two from now, but have absolutely no idea of how to go about it. I think she's sensing it too because she is always stressing now how much she loves me in the few times we are together. I just feel terrible.", "summary": "gf and I becoming distant, do not know how to end relationship. I don't want her to suffer in her other work because of the breakup. "} {"id": "t3_28yifk", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[29/m] and my girlfriend [26/f] are breaking up. She's begging me to stay.", "post": "**Issue 1:** Things have been a bit sour for a while now due to some perceived commitment issues on my part, mostly in relation to kids, marriage and moving in. However now that we've discussed it, she has now decided she no longer wants children/marriage but sees my priorities as more important to stay with me. \n\n**Issue 2:** She has also been extremely insecure about a particular female friend of mine who I have no relationship history or desires for which is causing further tensions both in our relationship and personally with the friend.\n\nShe has a gap in her study schedule soon, we were considering going away together to work overseas as a bit of a 'fix' to the relationship \n \nLately I've seen a psychologist because I've been feeling anxious, irritable and depressed. This is something I thought I'd do to try to better myself, and the relationship. However the psychology has just sort of made me more aware of what I want in life, and made me think I should follow my dreams to travel a lot more. I've kinda realised I want to make my overseas work a more permanent thing, at least for the foreseeable future and considering the health of the relationship, right now I feel like leaving it behind.\n\nAnyway, a lot of pondering and discussion has had us in constant ups and downs for the past week. I'm feeling hopeless, like I've kinda lost the energy to care about the relationship anymore. We were about to enter yet another discussion this morning and I decided that I'd had enough and ended it right there, now she's at her parents house, yet she called me begging me to reconsider.\n\nI am feeling so clouded and emotionally exhausted after the crazy cycle of fighting and making up.\n\nI kinda think if we did the overseas thing, it'd be a good 6 months for us, but I don't know if it'll really resolve our issues or whether it's just the easier option to accept emotionally. I also feel like I'd be doing it for her, and not really for me.", "summary": "Relationship has pretty much ended. She wants back in so we can go and work overseas to 'fix' the relationship."} {"id": "t3_suifx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My religious parents aren't letting me go to prom and I have a partner of a year and a half. What should I do?", "post": "I'd expect my life story to be peculiar but perhaps not so much on reddit. So for the past two years I've been secretly agnostic, pretending to pray and everything when I can/to keep up appearances. My parents are (although somewhat liberal) quite religious muslims. I've also kept my SO a secret from them of course. \n\nI told them I want to go to prom \"with the guys\" but they said they were afraid of what I'd see and hear and that I don't need any sins, so they don't want me going. Yeah. I asked twice and I've had the same response.\n\nI'm not that bothered about not going myself as I've never been a fan of large social atmospheres but my SO (as most typical teenage girls) is really excited to go. She's fully supportive of me, told me that she understands and that she'd go with the girls, but I can tell she's upset about it and is getting a tinge of jealousy when she sees her friends getting \"promposals.\" Although she's never said or expressed anything negative to me, I'm a little upset at being the cause of her ruined prom experience, knowing how important it is to her. I feel really bad. What should I do?", "summary": "Closet agnostic; muslim parents won't let me go to prom and I'm concerned about how my SO feels about it. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1qsvep", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "College student struggling with drinking due to irrational fear - not abuse, but any use at all", "post": "Hi,\n\nI have a problem with alcohol. Not the problem in the sense I overuse it, but a problem in the sense I am irrationally afraid of my girlfriend or anyone close to me using it. Not even abusing it, simply using it. My parents were both heavy drinkers and there were experiences in my childhood I wish I could forget, as everyone does. \n\nI'd like to emphasize that I'm not here looking for relationship advice- it just so happens I get panic attacks and breakdown when my girlfriend goes out, a totally normal activity. I trust her to not do anything stupid, but every time she says she wants to go out I shut down. We've talked about it, and of course I cannot ask her not to do a certain activity because that would be unfair, but it hits me like a truck every time.\n\nI'm afraid that something bad will happen when she or anyone close to me goes out, but not because I don't trust them but because alcohol has always led to pain in my life. How can I get over my irrational fear? I've tried analyzing it and I understand it's not a permanent effect, it's normal, etc. etc. but every time my immediate reaction is to shut down. My only answer is to do it myself and see the effects, but that is a very large barrier to cross.", "summary": "Irrational fear of people close to me drinking originating from poor childhood experiences. Not from trust issues with respect to SO. How can I overcome my fear?"} {"id": "t3_2tk7kf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26/m] am worried that my girlfriend [22/f] of 1 yr are going to break up because I don't make her feel appreciated/loved.", "post": "We have been dating for a little over a year and the past two weeks or so she has grown more distant and started hanging out more with her work friends, texting more when we are together and not making hanging out with me as much of a priority.\n\nI asked her about it and she said that I don't make her feel loved and appreciated. I've been busier recently with a new job (working nights and she works days) as well as trying to work harder at school. The conversation most troubled me because it seemed so final, as if it has always been an issue and there is no room to work on things.\n\nI'd like to make her more of a priority and have her feel that kind of appreciation but I worry that it is too late and she is no longer receptive. Any advice?", "summary": "My girlfriend of a year doesn't feel appreciated and is pushing away, is it too late to show her I care?"} {"id": "t3_3iwnlq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26m] and friend [23f], hung out a couple of times but I want to just stay friends, how do I not lead her on further?", "post": "I am currently going through a separation with my gf of 5 years. We are both unsure of things, but have talked here and there and there is a possibility of us getting back together. This was a mutual split and the story behind this is much too long and somewhat unrelated.\n\nNow, 4 or so weeks after my ex and I separated, I met someone else - Jen. Jen and I have hung out a few times, but I consider her only a friend. We have similar senses of humor. We talked for awhile and I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime- she said yes. We haven't done anything fancy, just watch tv and whatnot. I mostly just need friends which is why I approached her in the first place. I'm getting the impression that she thinks I am looking to be more than friends despite the fact we haven't been physical and I don't say flirtatious comments to her. I hate to have to tell this girl that I am not looking for someone like that because MAYBE she isn't either, which might be awkward.\nAny suggestions? I like hanging out with her, but there isn't attraction (at least on my end). What can I say to her to just make sure that, before we continue hanging out, she knows my intentions?\n\nI do not want her to think that I only wanted to hang out with her because of my issues with gf (this is in fact partly true, but I was really only looking for friendship).", "summary": "new girl I'm hanging out with, I just want to stay friends and I want to make sure she knows this, what do?"} {"id": "t3_4i04ta", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Relationship] Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20M] of almost 2 years, he still doesn't love me... But I love him. How do I deal?", "post": "Hi everyone, \n\nMy boyfriend of almost 2 years, still doesn't love me. We went on a short (maybe 4 week) break about a year ago when he told me that he wasn't sure if he *actually* loved me. \n\nWhen he decided this, I told him to take 8 weeks, if he still didn't want to be with me in that time, I'd leave him alone from then on. Within 6 weeks, he messaged me telling me he wants to be with me still. But it's a year on now... and still nothing. It upsets me constantly and I'm unsure if he realises just how much even though I've expressed a few times that it is difficult for me and that it deeply bothers and hurts me that he still doesn't reciprocate those feelings. \n\nI love him, and I've never loved anyone as much as I love him before and I'm not sure I will again. We live together at the moment and I'm not sure how I could afford to live alone if need be. \n\nEvery day I worry that it will be the day that he finally breaks up with me because he realises I'm not what he wants, or something along those lines. \n\nWhat should I do? I really don't want to leave him, but being in a loveless relationship is really wearing on me.", "summary": "Boyfriend of almost 2 years decided he doesn't actually love me after a year. Went on short break, still hasn't said the magic words. What do?"} {"id": "t3_1a9f55", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21m] I am second guessing myself and my choice to break up with my GF [17f]", "post": "Don't have to read that; I was just spilling my thoughts, so I'll summarize it:\n\nMy girlfriend and I have been dating 3 months. She has a best friend who is a guy who she's known since she was in 5th grade. They regularly hang out with each other and continued to do so throughout our relationship. They are even going to prom together since I'm too old. I confronted her about this and she claimed that she has never liked him, and they are purely friends.\n\nOn Sunday she had a fallout with her parents, and said she wasn't able to talk, but would \"talk to me soon\". I patiently waited 2 days then....I became suspicious, because we've never gone more than 2 days without talking. So last night, I go find her tumblr, and on it, I find this\n\nI'm honestly not sure what I should do. I absolutely should not stay in this relationship, and I know it needs to end. But one of my friends said I should not jump to any conclusions. He suggests this may be a simple short-lived infatuation she has, or any number of other explanations. I know this girl fucking likes me and I feel she does NOT want to have these feelings towards her friend. He suggested I do not break up with her on this tumblr post alone. He made a good point and it made me question what I want to do.\n\nBut the logical side of me is screaming to break up with her right now. Call her, tell her what I saw, and end it. But it *does* seem way too sudden. I almost want to wait until she calls me to see what she does or does not do. I really would like to have some closure and I want to find out how long she has had these feelings, and if she cheated on me...\n\nI know I only posted this last night, but I didn't get a lot of responses. There's a lot of possible outcomes and I keep second guessing all of them and i'm clueless. I really like this girl and I'm not good at breakups so I don't know how to handle this...", "summary": "Girlfriend might be in love with another guy. I keep second guessing how/if I should break up with her. I need some reassurance. Not negativity, just realistic advice."} {"id": "t3_1kpxhx", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Have been waiting weeks to hear back from a company I interviewed for. What should I do next?", "post": "Hi Everyone!\n\nFirst and foremost, thank you all for great content that helps the wonderful people of this sub educate themselves and eventually land jobs. I am similar to most of you (100+ applications, limited callbacks, still striving!) and have a question. \n\nI applied for a company about six weeks ago and got an email stating they wanted a phone interview (recruiter screening). After I completed the initial interview, I was passed on to the hiring manager for another phone interview. I was then asked to come in for a interview. After the interview, I asked the HR/Recruiter when I should expect to hear back about the position and was told it would be roughly 5 days. \n\nIt has now been a little over three weeks since the interview and still nothing. I have emailed the recruiter twice since then, and each time he says \"We still have not made a decision. I will know more in a week.\" The week then goes by and I hear nothing. \n\nNow, I know for a fact they were still (and probably still are) interviewing more candidates. Are they just stringing me along because they don't want to close the door on a potential candidate? Should I just take this as they are trying to get someone with better qualifications than me? \n\nI was supposed to get a response on Friday of last week and never got one. I'm not sure if I should keep going with this and do ANOTHER follow up, or if I should just take it as I was not the best fit and send a thank you letter. \n\nAny help would be great as to what my next move should be. Thanks a lot in advance.", "summary": "I interviewed nearly a month ago for a job and every week they keep saying they don't have a decision yet. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1o0h46", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my fiancee [23 F] (3 years), I can't get a job and it is throwing me off in bed - fiancee thinks I don't find her attractive anymore", "post": "Hello, I recently moved to a new city with my fiancee. I have been looking for a new job for the past five months and have been, thus far, unsuccessful getting a new job. The stresses and doubt about my selfworth have been eating at me and, recently, it has surfaced in the bedroom.\n\nI am attracted to my fiancee but as soon as we start having sex, I lose my erection. I think it's because I am doubting myself so much that I lose focus on us. It happened a couple times and my bedroom confidence is shot. I felt like, \"Well, I can't find a job right now, at least I can satisfy her.\" But now, I can't even do that.\n\nMy fiancee thinks it's because I don't find her attractive anymore. I am struggling to come to terms with the jobless situation but, in the mean time, I don't know how convince her that I find her attractive or at least make her understand why I can't keep it up.\n\nThank you for your time, readers.", "summary": "I can't get a job and it throws me off in bed...which then causes me to lose my sexual confidence so now my fiancee thinks I don't find her attractive."} {"id": "t3_gzxo2", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Ex-girlfriend wants me back as a friend. How to change it into friends with benefits?", "post": "Hey guys,\n\nfirst some background: I had a 2 years long term relationship with this girl. During an exchange semester abroad she split up with me, fucked around and got a new boyfriend. \n\nI spend the last week sending hatred mails to her, thereby cooled gradually down and skyped to her in the end. I guess she still likes me but now she lives in a new city and has a totally new social-environment. Still, she would love to visit me. \n\nAt first i forbid her to come over until she splits up with her new boyfriend. In the course of the conversation I realized two things: First, this puts too much pressure on her and she won't do it. Second, I don't wont a long distance relationship with a girl I cannot trust. Hence, being friends is alright when benefits are included.\n\nNow we come to the problem: How to communicate that only friends with benefits would be alright for me? \nDuring our relationship-days we were pretty open about sex, often just asked if the other one feels like going for it. I guess that directly telling her that \"condition\" would put too much pressure on her again. Additionally, I guess that during her daily contact with her current boyfriend she realizes that she can't \"betray\" him. \nHence, the other option would be to let her come over, be the nice great guy she used to love and in the course of events try to escalate things. Yet, if this does not work out, I would be pretty pissed.", "summary": "Ex-Girlfriend has a new boyfriend, wants me back just as a friend. Friends with benefits is the minimum condition for me. How to communicate this?"} {"id": "t3_vh8aq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Frequent flyers, what is the strangest/most awkward experience you have had on an airplane?", "post": "Once, while boarding a plane from NY to LA this man (must have been in his 60's) tried to block me as I sat down, signaling that I was in his seat. I calmly showed him my ticket and quickly realized he spoke no English. Once we worked out that I had the aisle and he the window (very important as I am 6' 4\") we settled down. However I knew something was bothering him. He kept muttering to himself and shifting around as if he was furious.\n\nHe attempted to talk to me angrily a few times but his English was so limited I had no clue what he was saying. Things took a turn for the worse when the flight attendants came by to serve food. Unlike the past, you now have to pay for food even on a 6-hour flight. The German man pointed to the M&M's and handed the lady his credit card. She told him that they don't accept cards, only cash, but not understanding her, the issue quickly escalated. It ended with three other flight attendants coming over to try and work it out with this man. He yelled and screamed at them, I thought they might have restrained him at one point. They even tried to give him the candy for free and he shoved it back at them. This all took place with him in the window seat yelling across me at the flight attendants in the aisle, making it even more awkward.\n\nIn the end, we found someone who could speak German and we discovered the man had Diabetes and his blood sugar was low. I spent the rest of the flight with headphones on, not looking at him for fear that he would start ranting again.", "summary": "Angry older German man yelled at the flight attendants for 15 min over candy. No one knew why he was so angry until we got someone to translate."} {"id": "t3_1s3zrp", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[24/m] Sent a stupid text to (23/f) I've been seeing", "post": "I've been seeing this girl for the past couple of weeks and up until this point it was going pretty well. We meet up quite regularly, we've made out a couple of times and we text each other every day.\n\nHowever, the last time we met when we were making out I was a little pushy when trying to kiss her (I tilted her head towards me) she kept her head stiff but I still went for the kiss. She seemed fine with it when she kissed me back.\n\nShe was texting me as normal the next day but I felt quite bad about what happened so I sent her a text saying that I was sorry for being a bit pushy and that she should tell me if I'm doing anything she isn't happy with. She didn't respond to this text but when I sent a follow up asking if everything was ok she said she was fine.\n\nWe texted a bit after that but her messages were short and brief. I texted her the next day simply asking how her day was and I've heard nothing since.\n\nSo what happened? I'm going a little crazy here.", "summary": "Things were going well with a girl, I was pushy when kissing her, she seemed fine with it, I sent her a text apologizing anyway and I'm now getting the silent treatment."} {"id": "t3_15yo34", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I have substancial credit card debt in collections. Let it go or pay it off?", "post": "I am 25F and I screwed up big time when I got credit cards. I have $17,000+ in credit card debt in collections right now. I lost my job in late 2008, got in way over my head, then had a hurricane come in a destroy all my things right around the same time. It was a perfect storm of financial ruin. I live in Texas. Texas is a very debtor friendly state and I had to option to walk away from the credit card debt and try to keep the lights on, which is exactly what I did. \n\nSince then, I have returned to school, I am working one full time job and another part time job, and I have slowly rebuilt a solid, but still a bit shaky, foundation for myself. \n\nI have put aside $2000 for emergencies and have made sure my bills are paid on time, every time for the last year. I have no big purchases to make in the next year or so and I think this is a good time to start tackling the mound of debt I accumulated for myself in my late teens/early 20s. \n\nI am essentially starting over and looking to improve my credit standing and my financial future. My credit score at this point is in the 580s (really really really bad) and my risk grade is F. No way in hell I'm going to be buying a house or a car with financing in the near future with that kind of record and I would like to be able to do that at some point. \n\nI am also interested in saving for my retirement but as of now, I really just need to get back on solid ground. I'm still young enough that I can change my standing and really do great things for myself but it has to happen now and I would love your advice.", "summary": "I screwed up as a teen and got a bunch of credit cards. Now I'm in debt, big time. Need help making a plan to dig myself out of a hole."} {"id": "t3_hodcn", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's reddit's opinion on this situation...", "post": "I am getting married in September. My fiance has a 50% chance of being a carrier of Muscular Distrophy. We get the test results back this afternoon. However, I'd like to know what redditors would do in our situation.\n\nFor those that don't know Muscular Distrophy is a disorder in which male's muscles deteriorate over the course of their life. In severe cases, the child could die before they are 15. In other cases, it could be that the child will just eventually end up in a wheel chair. The muscular distrophy that my fiance would be a carrier of, is the latter. If you have a child that's a boy, he has a 50% chance of having it. If you have a girl, they aren't affected by it, but they have a 50% chance of also being a carrier (like my fiance).\n\nOur options if my fiance is a carrier:\n\n1. We have kids, and hope none of them get Muscular Distrophy\n2. We don't have kids, skip the risk, and adopt instead", "summary": "My fiance may be a carrier of muscular distrophy. If in my situation, would you not have your own kids and adopt...or have your own kids and hope none of them get it? "} {"id": "t3_2jys99", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My roommate thinks my GF stole his chopsticks and CD", "post": "Here's the story: since last Sunday my roommate couldn't find one of his two pairs of chopsticks. Today he lost a software CD and now he thinks my GF broke into our apartment to steal them.\n\nHere's an intro to the people involved:\n\nMy roommate: He's messy, unorganized, and I highly believe that he has misplaced them somewhere. He says he sometimes gets paranoid about these things, but even for someone very suspicious and paranoid I don't think it makes sense. \n\nMy GF: She knows the password because she planned a surprise for my birthday two months ago. \n\nHow my roommate thinks of my GF: So this one time I was gonna have dinner with her and she suggested that he tag along. He declined, and while she was going to the bathroom she saw him along the way. She joked that she was upset that he refused to have dinner with us, and he took it way too personally. To this day he believes that she is actively mad at her. I told him that she was joking, because I have been with her for 9 months whereas he's only seen her around campus.\n\nCouple of weeks later, I am walking with her talking. I see my roommate and he waves us hi. I wave him back because I know him. My GF never really talked to him and have been introduced to each other a while ago, so she doens't know whether to wave or not. She doesn't and he takes that as a sign that she is angry at him for something.\n\nFor some reason he doesn't believe it when I tell him that she has no logical reason to be openly hostile with him. I try to tell him that whatever reason he has to believe that she is angry at him is all in his head. I try not to sound like a dick but he's taking it the wrong way, that I don't listen to his opinions.\n\nI don't know how to explain this to him. I am trying to put together my call log and text message history to show him that only when we are both sleeping can she come into our apartment un-noticed and take the stuff.\n\nI want to know how I can better convince him that she is not breaking into our apartment to take his stuff.", "summary": "Roommate thinks my GF is angry at him, even though they hardly have any interactions together. He is blaming her for his missing chopsticks and CD. Need a way to explain to him this is not the case."} {"id": "t3_42nlgb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I think I am ready to move on from my [26f] boyfriend [25m] of 4.5 years - I am no longer intimately satisfied", "post": "4.5 years is a long, long time. At least it is at my age. He's my best friend. But lately that's all I can see him as. It's painful even to type this as we've been through a lot.\n\nIt started after we moved in together (Dec 2013) - the sex just got, well, bad. I guess it always kind of was, to be honest - it lasts like, 30 seconds to a minute. Anyways..\n\nHe's gained a bit of weight since we started dating but he was overweight then too. Recently he asked me about engagement rings and I told him I wasn't ready for that... I don't think this is a problem that can be fixed. It's getting so bad that I just don't even want to kiss him anymore.\n\nI've also found myself to be quite attracted to a co-worker, which probably has a large role in this. But that's how I know that it's not my sex drive that's broken or something - it's that the chemistry is just no longer there between my boyfriend and I.\n\nI've been trying to leave for months now, but every time I look into his eyes it kills me. The thought of packing up all my things and going and the chance of never seeing/talking to him again... I just can't. I don't know what to do. He's my whole life but I don't see it working in the future if no part of me wants to have sex with him.\n\nI'm scared that the second he says \"don't do this\" i'm going to immediately take it back. I care about him so much. But the fact that I would be okay with being just friends... It's not fair to him to keep this up. I keep having these visions in my head of him coming home to an empty house and I just... it kills me....\n\nHow do I even have this conversation? He just comes home from work one day \"hey sorry I'm leaving you\"??? I just have no idea what to do at this point. Please help :(", "summary": "I don't know how to break up with my boyfriend of 4.5 years (due to lack of intimate feelings for him). I care about him a lot and seeing him hurt would destroy me."} {"id": "t3_fkrbr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Did this shit really just happen? And is it a common occurence?", "post": "Okay, so today my family came to visit me up at school and we went out to Ihop to eat. As we're sitting down, an elderly couple is about to pay and they find that they don't have their wallet with them. After they discuss it with their waitress for a little bit, my dad calls the waitress over and tells her to give him the bill. She says okay, then goes back over to the table and asks them if they've figured out a way to pay, not telling them that we have offered to take their bill. Again, my dad calls over the waitress and tells her that we'd handle it and to bring us the bill, but she goes back and still doesn't tell them about the offer. Eventually my dad just went over to the table himself and told them he'd pay for the bill. I just don't understand why the waitress felt that she needed to essentially prevent an elderly couple from having their meal paid for. Has this happened to anyone else?", "summary": "Went to lunch, elderly couple forgot their wallet. Dad told waitress he'd pay for them, she did nothing about it and kept trying to make them pay for it."} {"id": "t3_1ul8nv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How necessary is a bachelor's degree?", "post": "I'm a 18yo girl with good grades. (4.3 GAP on a 4.0 scale, 30 on my ACT) I love Spanish and all my language/ grammar classes, but I'm not interested in teaching. I hate seeing so many people get degrees in something they never use. I'm considering moving out and going to a community college for free, saving what money I can and trying to find a practical job with an associate's degree instead of continuing on to a 4yr university.\n\nIs this a good game-plan? Traveling and being bilingual are my two biggest interests, but I think that a job such as a physical therapists assistant would be a good option simply because the job market is high and it requires little college.\n\nI should mention that I have a job and am willing to continue working a lot, however my family has very little money, and I don't want debt from student loans. Any advice or comments would be appreciated!", "summary": "good student, want to travel, is a 4yr degree necessary or would it be better to just get an associate's degree and save up money?"} {"id": "t3_3ractr", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU - Accidental No call, No Show", "post": "I started this new job \"today\" for some odd reason I legitimately thought I started Tuesday. Well turns out Tuesday is the 3rd not the second and in the E-mail I received it clearly stated that I started on the second. I only found it about today. like literally an hour ago. This guy that hired me thinks im a fucking moron. I cant begin to tell you about the heart attack im currently having. I'm thinking about pulling a George and showing up tomorrow like nothing happen. I'm also thinking about sending an e-mail apologizing for my blissful brain. Would you guys help me write out an E-mail? i do even know how to start it. I'm too nervous and im having a panick attack.", "summary": "Was supposed to start a job today. Totally thought it started tomorrow. Stayed home and hung out until i checked my e-mail and evidently I did start today. FML"} {"id": "t3_504t1i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27M] with my girlfriend [22F] of 18 months, having problems due to different sex drives.", "post": "Lately my girlfriend has been feeling rejected and resentful towards me because I'm often not in the mood to have sex when she tries to initiate it, and I rarely initiate sex, because....I straight up just don't like having sex. It's sweaty, it's tiring, I feel grimy afterwards, it comes with expectations, it's never as enjoyable as my boner promises it's going to be. \n\nOn the other hand, I love my girlfriend, she's a wonderful person, and the only person that I would willingly have sex with. \n\nMy question is as follows: Am I being unreasonable? Should I just suck it up and live with doing something I don't enjoy just to keep the peace?", "summary": "I don't like sex. Girlfriend is bummed out about my not reciprocating advances/never initiating sex. Should I just force myself to keep up just to keep her happy?"} {"id": "t3_4tr3x1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [14 F] with my friend[13 F] for a year, I'm worried that shes going to develop an eating disorder.", "post": "Hi. So my friend has recently not been eating as much as she used to. She's at a normal weight I would say and doesn't have that much tummy. \n\nShe used to bring a roll or two to school but now she only brings apple slices and doesnt eat at recess. There has been a few instances where she says she doesnt feel hungry at all and wont eat. I don't know anything outside of school so I don't know how much she eats at home. I dont know if I am reading too much into it or not so I know I shouldn't assume things. \n\nSometimes she 'jokes' about how she doesn't eat anything anymore and I don't know what to say so I usually try to change the topic. But she's been saying so much self deprecating things as well (comments about how she wishes she was dead) that I dont know what to say.\n\nWe've also been going through eating disorders in class and watched this documentary about all the effects they have so she's not unaware of everything.\n\nWhat can I say to her when she says stuff like that? I dont know if I can change how much she eats but is there anything I could do to help her? And try not to suggest talking to someone because im not good at that and I dont think it would go down well with her.", "summary": "Friend hasnt been eating as much as she used to and im worried that it might develop into an eating disorder. How do I talk to her?"} {"id": "t3_17ilco", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Me [18/m] and my girlfriend [19/f] just broke up, and I can't let go..", "post": "We have bin dating for 9 month to the day we broke up, and it has only bin a short while since. I know its never easy to break up but this one just don't feel right.\n\nWell when we was together we always had fun, and a healthy sex life. But then came the 1-2 month before and she slowly started becoming less affected. We close to never kissed passionate anymore and our sex life went down the drain. And every time any thing were to happen i always had to get it started, and many times without success. This ofc frustrated me, but i thougt to myself that she just needed some time. We later talked about it and she told me she didn't have the same feelings anymore. After while she told me that she didn't want to keep disappointing me by not returning the feelings and love i gave her. With then led to us breaking up. I know i cant force her to feel anything she don't. But is there anything i could do to make her get that feeling back. I love her very much and it just don't feel right giving up on it already. All i want is to get back together with her, she is the only thing that was going good in my life, even when she wasn't affected.\n\nI know there are other fish in the sea, and life goes on, and i'm still young. That's what every body is saying, that's not the advice i need.\n\nIgnore typos, not a good speller and English isn't my mother langue", "summary": "Me and girlfriend broke up. I'm heartbroken, and it doesn't feel right. I need to get her back but don't know how or if its possible."} {"id": "t3_3vifmn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19M] with my crush [19F] for 1 year", "post": "So i have a friend that i have had a crush for a year or so, but she had a boyfriend. They were together for a year and 6 months(not sure abouth the months, but it was definitely more than a year and less than 2) and broke with him around halloween days. My sister is having her wedding next year(june 15 or so) but she needs to have the invitations list before december ends(dont know why). I want to invite my friend to the weeding, but i feel it is too soon since her breakup and i really care for her. I wanna be with her all the time, but i think this will make her feel weird, commited, even remind her of the breakup or something, and that it'll push her away from me. I really care for her and dont want to make her feel bad or something, but i cant wait that much to invite her also.", "summary": "My crush just broke with her boyfriend a little more than a month ago, want to invite her to my sister's weeding that is next year, is this a good idea?"} {"id": "t3_3yyvjj", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by watching YouTube at work", "post": "Some context: I valet for a hospital, specifically the employee's parking lot so if the parking lot is not full I do not do anything at all and and believe me this parking lot is never full I basically get paid to stand all day\n\nSo TIFU happened about 1 week ago. I was watching videos on my phone and bent my head down to block the sun's death ray of light from glaring the glass on my phone that was keeping me from learning how to origami in 1080p resolution and apparently some snitch ass lady reported me to human resource for sleeping on the job because she couldn't see that my eyes were open and it got around to the head of HR and even to the mothafucking director of the hospital so today my supervisor called me saying they were letting me go since the hospital doesn't want people like me working for them (just because I'm Asian) at first I thought it was a prank because I was pretty cool with most employees working there so I guessed it must have been that crazy white lady who I've seen telling everybody what to do and thinks she owns the place(she's just a receptionist)....so now as I guess I can sleep in on Monday \n\nHappy New Years!", "summary": "was watching utube at work and got reported by a crazy lady who works at the hospital for sleeping on the job and now I'm job less"} {"id": "t3_29pwoo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What's my [F/21] best chance of getting him [M/26] to talk to me?", "post": "Last Saturday me and my ex broke up. We had an incredible bond with each other. But his work had been taking him out of town every week for nearly our entire 6 month relationship. \n\nAnd when he was home on the weekends he had all these family obligations so we hardly got to see each other. When he ended it he told me he loved me and kissed me goodbye... He told me that I should be with someone who could give me everything I deserve and said we would talk \"SOON.\"\n\nToday I ran into a bit of a crisis. I found this helpless baby animal and wasn't sure what to do with it. He was always good with stuff like that so I texted him and he replied immediately.\n\nAfter we were finished talking about the situation I asked if we could talk soon about us and told him that it would mean a lot to me to end things on better terms and that I also needed my apartment key back.\n\nNo reply.\n\nI'm not sure what to do... He was my first love and the guy I gave my virginity to and I know if I don't talk to him it will take me ten times longer to heal because I have questions only he can answer. \n\nWhat's the best way to handle this situation? He replied to help me but stopped texting back when I asked when we could talk. I know if I keep texting him that wouldn't be good... but if I want him to talk to me how should I handle this? \n\nI'm afraid if I wait too long it will never happen. I could just show up at his house but I want a mutually agreed upon talk.", "summary": "Ex texted me after break up but stopped texting back when I asked if we could talk about us. What's the best way to get him to talk to me? Should I just leave him be for a few weeks."} {"id": "t3_448mdr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[23F] My Boyfriend Told Me His [22M] Ex [22F] Hit Him", "post": "My boyfriend we're dating for 9 months and have strong feelings for each other, just over a week ago he opened up to me about issues in a past relationship. His girlfriend was very controlling, telling him he's not allowed to have friends of opposite sex, and has punch him and stuff like that, it really upset me and I was very empathetic with him when he told me that. I care about him a lot and I found her Instagram and where she lives, and I want to confront her. Would it be better to show up there and speak to her, or to just message her? I haven't told my boyfriend about it, but I really want to talk to her because it angers me that she'd do that to him. I'm worried if I tell him in advance then he'll not want me to do it, but I really want to talk to her. He means a lot to me, I feel kind of intimidated because I'm skinny and weak, she works out and stuff. But I really want to confront her. I've only lived in America for a few years so I'm not all that familiar with the customs here, so I think it maybe seems like I'm over reacting but I care for him a lot? I think I could get her to apologize to him, and she'll probably realize how horrible what she did is. Should I do it? What should I say to her?", "summary": "My boyfriend had an abusive girlfriend, and he opened up to me about their relationship. I found out where she lives and I want to confront her."} {"id": "t3_yfvkq", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "How do I get good and angry? I am just sad, and can't move on this way. -31f-", "post": "When my ex (26m) and I broke things off for good at the end of June, after six months, he said some incredibly hurtful things to me. \n\nThe one that sticks out the most is that he said I was terrible in bed. I cannot shake the feelings of inadequacy and sadness this left me with. Even though I *know* that a) this is the equivalent of women telling their exes \"you have a small dick\", and b) he actually took it back. He admitted we had good sex. \n\nI have always been somewhat self-conscious about my oral sex skills, and this just confirmed it for me. It was like a bullet to the heart. Even after he took it back, I knew that there was truth to it. And every time I think about it, I cry. I'm crying right now.\n\nIt's this huge blow to where I felt the most inadequate that is just eating me up emotionally. I feel like I just need to get angry at him for being such a bastard (he admitted he only said it to make me angry at him). But I can't get angry. I just get really sad. I try not to think about it too much, but sometimes I think about it and get really bummed out. I just want to get pissed off and write him off for purposefully hurting me. \n\nLuckily, this isn't effecting my sex life, or my current relationship, except for secret feelings of disloyalty that I'm still so hung up on something my ex said during an otherwise routine breakup. It's really unfair to me and my new beau to be so sad about a stupid comment from an ex.\n\nI don't know if anyone can help, but I'm all for mind games I can play with myself to turn the hurt into anger or indignation. Or effective ways to deal with and let go of sadness; I'm much better at dealing with anger than with sadness.", "summary": "my ex-boyfriend told me I suck in bed; I want to be angry but my ego is so bruised it just makes me cry when I think about it. How to turn sadness --> anger?"} {"id": "t3_1wi6tw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm afraid of becoming involved with someone again. Personal issue", "post": "I'm a 25 year old male. For the last 4 years I've been afraid of getting involved with women.\n\nIt startes after I fell head over heals for a girl in college, for four years at school I was crazy about her but it was never returned.\nAfter we left school she seemed to be more interested in me than before, we started to see each other often after work and eventually became physical, we never had sex but there was intense forplay most times I saw her.\n\nThis lasted for about 4 months, just fooling around nothing to serious. I decided I wanted to take it further and become more involved with each other. She came over and we started to talk, I let her know I care about her a lot and she said the same, when I asked if she wanted to be my girlfriend for real she said \"I don't know\".\n\nNow at the time I was crazy about her, when I asked what she means by \"I don't know\" she just repeated it. I asked if she wanted to keep doing what we were doing and it was the same answer. After talking more it became clear we were not on the same level, I broke it off and she went home.\n\nI had a period of deep depression for a while afterwards, it hurt to not be loved back but I got through it eventually. Since then I've had one summer fling, nothing serious just a few weeks but since that I've been afraid of getting involved again.\n\nIs there anyone that might be able to relate to this and can offer some words to help?", "summary": "serious depression after shotlrt relationship where feelings were not mutual, resulted in me with a fear of comitment."} {"id": "t3_2xti6f", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "My explanation of my work gap history retracted my interview?!!?", "post": "Okay so I have a work gap which is a year. It all started when I worked as a seasonal sales at Bestbuy and I didn't get placed to part time because the department that I work at was full. Since then I haven't been looking for jobs because my dad said we might be moving out to a different state. \n I got a phone call the other day saying that they would like for me to come in the next day for an in-person interview for I'm guessing for an AA job I applied at. But it was through a website that helps you search for jobs called OfficeTeam. The interviewer then asked what's going on with my work gap. So I said along the lines of \" My dad told my family that we might be moving to another state so I've withdrew from the job search since I don't want to work for like a month and just quit. But now my dad got a job offer to work overseas and held off on moving, so we might move in a few years or never.\" \nAfter that the lady said I'm sorry we might not be the resources you need but we will try to help you still blah blah blah. And I said so that means I don't have to show up tomorrow? And she said yes. That was it. I guess I'm no longer considered for the position. \nSorry for the long post I'm just dumbfounded I can't explain any more as it is the truth and I have an interview for a job at Bestbuy tomorrow and I'm not sure how to approach the work gap history. Please I need your help!!!", "summary": "Got an interview on the phone saying to come in the next day for an in-person interview, explained my work gap and then I suddenly don't have to show up for the interview. "} {"id": "t3_3hvtyl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My mum [41f] wants me [18m] to live with her after uni and get a house together.", "post": "I'm 18 and live with my mum along with my sister who is 19. My mum is divorced and receives a relatively low salary every month but does get plenty of benefits and has quite a bit in savings.\n\nI love my mum, she has literally provided me with everything I want and need (within limits ofcourse). However she has certain 'rules' that I must follow like never drinking alcohol due to previous experience and her upbringing and also no drugs. These I understand but I do not agree with so I do not follow (without her knowledge)\n\nAnyway the point is, my lovely mother who has raised me with everything I want, wants me to stay with her after uni, and into adulthood. When I start earning, she wants us to get a house together so if I ever get married my wife would have to come live with us which is really not what I want. I feel so bad for saying this as she has given me plenty throughout my childhood, she always let me go out, hardly ever said no to anything I wanted to do/get. Yet I don't really want to do this. She is a Hindu and still has a few traditional viewpoints on life, however I am an athiest. It is relatively normal in our culture for younger kids to take care of their parents after they start working and live with them, but personally I prefer to live alone; she sort of just expects me to live with her after uni?\n\nI know plenty of you may be wondering why I am worrying about this considering I have not even started uni yet, but I just need to know how to handle this now and let her know my feelings without offending her. I don't want to be stuck in a situation where I have no choice :(\n\nBy the way I have no problem in living on my own and providing for her separately, but I have no idea about how to go on having this conversation with her.", "summary": "Mum want's me to stay with her into adulthood, I don't want to but don't know how to go on about it talking to her because I feel like absolute shit."} {"id": "t3_1u8231", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] am very indecisive about my [18M] ex boyfriend.", "post": "We dated for 2 years, but I recently (about 2 months ago) ended things after having doubts. Within the first year, he started showing qualities that I really couldn't accept (waaaay over excessive weed use, won't ever come around my family, dropped out of high school, extreme jealousy) & I constantly begged him to work on it. \nWhen some of his own family issues arose, I pushed off everything I asked him to work on, and concentrated on making only him happy. Now, a year down the road from then, I've realized how unhappy I am in the relationship. After ending things with him, he has begged for another chance, promising to do everything I always asked of him. But I feel as if it's almost too little too late, and my feelings just aren't there anymore. I'm also enjoying the freedom of being single and being able to text/talk to other guys without any guilt. (Haven't crossed the line of seeing anyone else yet, but even texting other guys on a regular basis is a weird step for me). \n\nI still tend to have twinges of feelings for my ex, feeling like I could love him again and we could fix things, almost daily. But they only last a short while and are quickly replaced by doubts. We still hang out very frequently & I am having a hard time refraining from physical contact, as is he. (Nothing sexual, just hand holding/cuddling etc).\nI know that he completely loves me, and it shatters my heart watching him break down every time I'm around. He was always 100% loyal to me, and cared about me more than anything. I want to still be there for him but I'm not sure I want to be in a relationship. \n\nDo these doubts mean I no longer love him? Do the small twinges of love that come back mean that I do still love him? Am I just stringing him along & hurting him more in the end? Should I break all contact and let him move on? Help :(", "summary": "broke up with boyfriend of 2 years when I began to have doubts in our relationship. We are each other's best friends, and he doesn't really have anyone else, am I hurting him more by sticking around, or saving him?"} {"id": "t3_wbxt1", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[19/f] Should I tell my boyfriend [19/m] that someone else is interested?", "post": "I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months. He's really sweet and I don't want to upset him but recently someone from work (Gah! Don't they say 'Never date a coworker'?) asked me if I wanted to 'do something sometime'. I do want to be friends with this guy and he knows I have a boyfriend. We're going on a hike after work this week and I'm pretty sure he knows that it doesn't mean anything. I feel weird though. I'm definitely not going to break up with my boyfriend for this guy, even if I do break up with him eventually due to other strains, because that's a shitty reason to leave someone. Help me, reddit. I don't know where to go with this.", "summary": "I'm going hiking (alone) with some guy who asked me out while I have a boyfriend. Do I tell my boyfriend or leave him in the dark so he doesn't freak out?"} {"id": "t3_1opcm0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F, college freshman] have hangups about drug use that I can't get over. Involves a [19M] (2 months).", "post": "I'm a freshman in college, and I have issues with daily drug use. I have absolutely no problem when friends do it, but I always get uncomfortable when romantic interests use it on a daily basis.\n\nAaaand I'm right now kind of pseudo-dating a [19M] who smokes. \n\nNow, we've have a discussion about this. I told him that I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who smoked every day. He promised to only smoke on the weekends, and that he wouldn't want to jeopardize a potential relationship with me simply because he wanted to get high and play GTA.\n\nThat worked for about a week. \n\nIt's Thursday. He's high. He got high yesterday. And the day before. \n\nI don't want to be his parole officer. I don't want to feel ostracized from the person that I should be able to feel close to. But I also want to know if my feelings towards marijuana use are justified, and if I should be making more of a concerted effort to overcome them instead of immediately ruling out people just because of it. \n\nI would really, seriously appreciate any advice people could give me. I'm just kind of cranky about this whole situation right now.", "summary": "I [18F] am okay with recreational drug use but viscerally not okay with daily drug use. He promised to cut back, but that didn't work for long. How do I deal with this situation?"} {"id": "t3_2ddcvo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24M) feel used after a one time hookup that I had (22F)", "post": "I met a girl on Tinder. I know it's not the idea place to find a relationship but I started chatting with a girl and we really hit it off. We chatted for a few days and decided to meet of for drinks. The date went really well. Probably one of the best dates I've been on. We decided that she'd come over a couple of days later and we would hang out and watch movies. We end up hooking up, which I wasn't really even going for, she kind of pushed for it. Everything was cool after, she didn't end up staying the night but we did establish we'd see each other within a couple of days. The next day I text her and she's not really as responsive as before and says that she really enjoys hangin out with me but she doesn't want to get into anything serious right now. After this I feel like she's starting to fade. I go 3 days without hearing from her and get this today:\n\n\"Hey I'm soooo sorry I've fallen off the face of the earth! In a life plot twist, I've kind of had some personal shit go down...you're such a great guy and that's why this sucks but I don't think I'm in the right place to start hanging out with someone right now. I had a great time hanging out with you though, I'm so sorry \"\n\nI'm glad she actually responded to me but I'm having a really hard time getting over the situation. I realize she owes nothing to me and that maybe she just wanted a one time thing but it's the first time something like this has happened to me. Part of me feels used and let down. She was super cool and seemed really interested and then out of nowhere she faded off and sends me that. I'm not sure if I should let it go all together or if I should try to see how she's doing in a couple of weeks.", "summary": "had a great date. Hooked up a couple of days later. She isn't at a point in her life for anything like this right now and I feel used and hurt."} {"id": "t3_ijcrg", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Portfolio Recovery Associates: What was your experience and how did you deal with them?", "post": "Back when I was 17, my dad opened a credit card account in my name over the internet. Over the next year, he maxed out the $1000 dollar limit. I didn't know about the credit card existence for some time and when I did, I demanded my dad pay off all the debt and he said he would. He never did. This has lead to the debt being bought and me being summoned to court. I foolishly turned to my dad again to take care of it and he said he did; he lied.\n\nI'm now 21 and trying to make a life for myself. I've ceased all contact with my dad except for emailing, even then it's only about the legal issues. I found out who bought out the debt and it was none other than the PRA. I've called them to say the credit card was opened illegally and my identity was stolen, but they decided to hang up on me instead. I've heard some nasty stories about their calling practices, but luckily, I have only gotten one phone call from them and oddly it was when the woman who was handling my file was out for a lunch break.\n\nAfter a quick Google search, it's obvious these guys are bad news and a pain in the ass to work with. If anyone has had to deal with them before, what was your experience? If you succeeded on making them leave you alone, how did you do it?", "summary": "Stolen identity. Getting fucked. Don't want to be fucked. How did the other fucked stop themselves being fucked?"} {"id": "t3_2ku63z", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "5''3, 137-140lbs. started at 163lbs and need to lose 10-15lbs more until \"goal weight\", or just general happiness: need advice about meal prep!", "post": "i've been a long-time lurker in this subreddit (and reddit, in general), and need some advice on good meal prep containers. the only ones i've been able to find at the store are the gladeware ones without any separated compartments and just one jumbo container where my food would just slosh around all the time.\n\nbasically i'm looking for containers that have compartments, are BPA free, relatively sturdy, leak-proof, and hold a moderate amount of food. \n\ni guess what i'm wondering is if any of you have preferable brands or recommend anything specifically, or have tips and tricks for general meal prep. i usually pack lunches at school but i'm usually in classes/at work from around 7:30-10/11pm and am getting frustrated with the types of food i'm able to bring because of my container situation.", "summary": "i need food prep recommendations that are sturdy, bpa-free, have separate compartments, and hold a decent amount of food. any help is appreciated."} {"id": "t3_3348ss", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [23 M] with my gf [19F] 1 year, I find it very hard to open up emotionally, and it hurts her.", "post": "I'm an extremely logical person, and I'm passionate about certain particular things: language, philosophy and literature. So much so to the point where I'm borderline neurotic (if I don't understand something fully, or if it interests me greatly, I will often not stop until I've achieved whatever I've wanted to achieve. Here's an example: I'm studying French, but I got frustrated at not understanding all the grammar, so I spent 3 days, 10 hours minimum each day, studying the entire grammar book.\n\nI'm in a long distance relationship and we talk regularly. She admitted yesterday that she doesn't feel warmth from me, I come across as quite cold to her, as I (unintentionally) direct the majority of our conversations towards my interests. Admittedly, she is more interested in me than I her, but that doesn't mean we don't feel the same way for each other.\n\nI don't have a high emotional intelligence. I'm good in social interactions, but romantically, I almost explicitly express my feelings through love, or humour.\n\nI really want to improve my emotional intelligence, but I don't know how. I want to make her feel appreciated. I would like to talk about how I feel and not just ideas, but the words don't come. To be blunt, with regards to these aspects, I'm emotionally retarded.", "summary": "I'm extremely abstract and, although willing, I find it hard to associate with my gf on a deeper emotional level."} {"id": "t3_3oggp8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] trying to right my wrongs with past relationships and move on with my life", "post": "I was in a relationship for the past 4 years with a woman, Bess, who I felt very comfortable around and grew accustomed to the relationship I had. However, it wasn't very emotionally or physically satisfying or motivating, so about a couple months ago, I tried seeking solace in fantasies. About that time, a close long-distance family friend (non-related), Stella, told me she liked me, I began fantasizing about this illicit relationship. Around a month ago, I broke up with Bess and tried going out with Stella, but found out that my fantasies were not reality, but in the process, screwed up both relationships with these two women.\n\nWith Bess, there was the sense of emotional infidelity, and with Stella, due to the recent nature of the break-up with Bess, seemed more like a rebound relationship. Being around Bess for so long, I grew accustomed to being very physically intimate and imposed that onto Stella, who did not reciprocate and felt very insecure about the rapid progression of our relationship. Reflecting back, I now feel very scummy about the way I treated both of them.\n\nRight now I'm not looking to get back together with either of them, but I just want to bridge the gap between these two relationships. I severely f'd up... I'm trying to give them both time and space, but I want to rectify my wrongs with both Bess and Stella so I can move on from my guilt. Reflecting upon my actions, I feel very immature and indecisive, but would like to grow as a person so that I don't do stupid things of this caliber again.", "summary": "Guilty over my emotional infidelity with woman #1 and over the top physical intimacy with woman #2 strained both of these relationships. I want to rectify my wrongs so that I can forgive myself and move on."} {"id": "t3_1u8dtw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17M] don't know how to deal with my girlfriend[17F] of 10 months alcoholic and mentally ill brother [26M].", "post": "Basically me and my girlfriend have a great relationship that has been going on for about 10 months but recently she opened up to me about the problems her brother is having and I don't know how to react. \n\nHer brother is 26 and has been submitted to rehab/mental hospital twice for his problems which I don't know all the details about but will tell you what I do.\n\nHe has had long run problems with drug and alcohol abuse, my girlfriend having to lock her room as a child to avoid her brother stealing from her for drug money. \n\nHe clearly has mental health issues and is very depressed, since his last stint in hospital he has been arrested for lashing out violently at there father and a few nights ago there family found him at the \nhouse passed out in a pool of his own vomit, and he cried constantly for hours after they woke him and at other times since then he has started crying in front of the family. \n\nMy girlfriend is now scared he is going to kill himself and honestly this doesn't seem to far fetched.\n\nI really just want to comfort her, make her feel like everything will be alright and make her feel safe, but my own life so far has been very comfortable and I just don't know how to deal with a situation like this.\n\nAny advice or stories from people who have been in similar situations \nwill be very well appreciated.", "summary": "My girlfriends brother is a depressed alcoholic and she is scared he will kill himself. My comfortable life has left me unprepared to deal with this kind of situation and I just want to say the right things to her."} {"id": "t3_1pibtn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 M] have been feeling guilty about my situation with my girlfriend [19 F] of one and a half years and can't really figure out what to do.", "post": "I am in my 3rd year of university, and this current year, because I didn't do so well in my courses last year, I have been put on academic probation for the duration of the year.\n\nWhen I told my girlfriend she was very supportive of what I told her and said that she loved me and that this didn't change how she felt about me.\n\nNow this is the kind of reaction I was hoping for, because I wanted some support, when I told my parents, there was just a lot of yelling and making me feel guilty about all of it, which I do and I understand that I fucked up, I'm trying to make amends this year by taking certain courses to be accepted back into my program.\n\nAnd so when I told my girlfriend and she was very okay with everything it was a change up to what I was used to. And she'll tell me I'm smart and that she's proud of me for trying to get back on track but I still feel extremely guilty.\n\nCause the things that are worrying me is that what if I can't get back on track and then when I'm a university drop out, she'll leave me. Or what if because of this I go nowhere in life and she chooses to stay with me and I drag her down.\n\nShe seems okay with my situation and I have yet to ask her about the \"what if\" of me not finishing my program. I've just grown up with a family that looked down on those that didn't succeed and when she did the complete opposite I was surprised and kind of like I wanted her to be upset with me.\n\nSo all I want is some kind of advice as to whether I should talk to her about it, or if I should leave it and just put more focus on school hoping that she actually is okay with it all.", "summary": "I'm on academic probabtion and just feel incredibly guilty and am really struggling to be fine with how okay she is with it."} {"id": "t3_22c1w4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Probably a pretty standard relationship advice question, but still, I need help.", "post": "So, I've (23m) just spent the last 2 hours on the phone to my girlfriend (24f) of three years. \n\nWe do have a pretty volatile relationship and have come close to breaking up quite a few times, however I've always taken these as knee jerk reactions to large arguments. Today it's different. Phone call out of the blue, saying that she doesn't think we're working. A lot of the things she want's in a relationship I'm really not good at (e.g. she's a planner, I tend to let things occur and intervene if required) \n\nWe had a civil conversation and ended up at a crossroads: A) break up now. Or B) Take a 2 weekish break and reassess there.\n\nPart of the issues in our relationship are around me generally 'not knowing' how I feel about things or where I want to head. She knows, but I don't. \n\nEssentially now she's wanting me to spend 2 weeks to think and a answer what I want out of the relationship and where I want it to go. And I'm generally shit at doing anything other than stiffle my emotions so yeahhh. Help? Where do I begin thinking?", "summary": "Have been asked to think about scary, emotional things such as 'what do you want out of this?' and 'where do you want us to go?' And I don't know how."} {"id": "t3_1zjfoh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why can't I [27 M] stay in love with my long-term (4yr) [26 F], when she's perfect?", "post": "This is hard to do because even as I write I am kicking myself for even needed to put this on reddit, but I'm not sure where else to go. My GF and I started dating 4 years ago and agreed on a mutual 'break' for an undetermined time period to make sure that our next step, marraige, is the right one. We agreed that if we were to sleep with others, they couldn't be mutual friends, we had to use protection, and also follow a don't ask, don't tell policy. We separated for 2 months but she has recently moved back in.\n\n I'm just having such a hard time with how to feel. I loved being single - the chase, going to bars with the feeling of what might happen, the freedom of not checking in with anyone. But on the flipside, my GF is truly perfect. So beautiful, loving, kind, considerate, and sexy. Our sex life is incredible. She is everything I would ever want in a wife, but if I don't stay true to her and give her 100% at this point, I'll lose her.\n\n I feel like this should be so easy for me. \"She's great, she's the one\", I tell myself. But I can't help thinking of the fun flings with interesting girls (one of which I actually dated) I had while single and the amount of other girls who may have the same qualities. I'm scared that I'll always have the feeling of what may be out there, even as I have Mrs. Right waking up next to me. Overall I want to be fair to her. She deserves the world and I want to give it to her, but I'm failing.", "summary": "I wake up next to the definition of a perfect woman, but the idea of waking up next to her forever scares me incredibly. I'm wrestling with how to be fair. "} {"id": "t3_j60wb", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Calling all Vibram \"Barefoot Runners\"", "post": "Background, I ran the Indianapolis Mini Marathon in just over 2hrs in may. I felt pretty good about the time as this was my first half marathon, and had been training for months. At race end I ended up with great memories and a stress fracture on my lower right ankle. fast forward to today, softball season and golf league is now over and I desperately want to get back to running. I bought these shoes to Reinvigorate my desire to run. P.S: months leading in the half marathon I was running 8-10 miles 4 times a week, and would love to get back to running 5-6 miles 4-5 times a week with these new shoes. So here's were you wonderful people of Runnit come in. share with me your personal experiences with the shoes, and give me some ideas about mileage build up.", "summary": "I just bought a pair of Komodo Sport Vibram Five Finger shoes, and am looking for advice on a good program to start running in with out injury."} {"id": "t3_gs6fp", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Should I Wait or Move On?", "post": "I visited a friend at another college and met his friend/floor mate while there. I started talking to his friend on fb, and it turned out that we had a lot in common and we got along very well. \n\nWe began talking all of the time, on gchat, skype, phone, texting. We would stay up all night long talking to each other. In a short matter of weeks, we became more comfortable with each other than anyone else. I am someone who suffers from depression, and he made me smile and gave me hope and strength. \n\nThen one day about 2 months after we met, he called me and said he didn't want a relationship while in college and that we should stop all communication between each other. I later learned it was actually his parents who had insisted he stop talking to me because they didn't want him in a relationship. \n\nShould I wait for him until we finish college (we're both in our 1st year), or just move on?", "summary": "I met this amazing guy but his parents do not want him to be in a relationship in college, so he stopped all communication between us."} {"id": "t3_43lwpy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[F19] kissed and fell in love with [M29] who is taken.", "post": "Apologies for my English and spelling, a non-native speaker on a phone here.\n\nWhen we met we immediately hit off. We like the same things and have similar personalities to a point that is crazy. We are so alike and he understands me completely even if I say so little. He is the definition of the one for me, Physically and mentally. We have known each other for quite some time now and I met his SO around the first time I met him. After that I haven't seen her often. \n\nThe tension around us is so present, flirting is just something that gradually developed. We spoke about our feeling ( that we are so similar and get along so well) and it is on both sides said that it is extraordinairy. We kissed a while ago (while being drunk, this is not an excuse, just for your interest) and it left me confused. We planned to talk about it but it hasn't happened yet. We did, though, kiss again (drunk again) and drunkenly talked about our feelings for each other. He said he loved me but because of the age difference he couldn't chose for me, eventhough he doubts his current relationship and says his gf doesn't make him feel good at all and I do make him feel good and loved. At this point I have fallen in love with him and struggle with my feelings and his betrayal towards his gf ( whom, in my opinion is a controlling bitch who doesn't let him live his life. She checks on him every second and is mad for no valid reasons. I am not the only one who thinks this and this opinion was formed before we kissed the first time). We do plan to talk but it's difficult since there is always someone else around. I am lost. What am I to do?", "summary": "fell in love with a taken man. We both have feelings for each other and kissed. I have no idea what to do."} {"id": "t3_39msag", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[ADVICE] one night stand?", "post": "So I went to visit another state for the weekend and ended up going home with this guy...\n\nI went to the club with my female relative and when we were dancing this guy approached me. Let's call him Josh. He said let's go to yours in which I replied \"definitely not mine\" since I was staying at a relative's place for that weekend. My relative then asked me whether I want to go home with him in front of Josh - I nodded (I was so wasted that I didn't realised I was ditching her :(. Josh then told her that he would drop me home tomorrow morning.\n\nFast forward to the morning - I checked Google map of my location, it was 40 minutes away from CBD (where I was staying). I started putting on my clothes and he woke up and told me that he'll drop me home soon so I hopped back on the bed and we talked for a bit. He offered me coffee and breakfast but I refused (he told me that his mates are coming over soon when we were chatting in bed).\n\nSo the 40 minute ride back was not awkward at all - we pretty much were getting to know each other. When I was about to leave the car he asked for my phone number. He then texted me 5 hours after (probably after hanging out with his mate and nap (he told me took a nap). He said he had fun last night and to let him know the next time I'm visiting again.\n\nThis is probably the very first \"first night stand\" that I've done. What does it mean when a guy asked for my phone number? Wouldn't he just dropped me off and ran away considering I was only visiting for the weekend?\n\nDon't know the age, he told me but I can't remember...", "summary": "what does it mean when a guy drop you home and ask for your phone number after you spent a night at his place?"} {"id": "t3_3nlxll", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "(MA) Laid off but retained as 1099. Can I collect unemployment?", "post": "So some brief background - I'm a project engineer at a small engineering consulting firm in MA. I have been with the company for 2.5 years as a salaried W-2 employee.\n\nToday I got into the office and received my letter of termination from the company. The reason for termination is that because of economic downturn and pressure from the bank to pay off a loan, they need to trim expenses in order to keep the doors open. I did see this coming, though I guess it came sooner than expected. \n\nA number of people who work at this company are 1099 employees and work on a consultancy basis. Thus I took my letter of termination and walked to my boss' office to ask how we would be moving forward - is this a complete separation of the company and myself or would I be brought on as a 1099 employee on a more part-time basis? He told me that he wants me to stay with the company on a part-time basis and that I'd be paid as a 1099. He thinks I'll be contributing roughly 20 hrs/week but it's fluid depending upon the company's finances. \n\nBecause of job loss, I'll also have to move from my current place in MA back home with parents in ME - I can't afford my place any longer.\n\nHow do I move forward? Do I file unemployment? If so, do I file it in MA or ME? Do I need to set up an LLC or an S Corp for my 1099 work? Any advice at all would be appreciated.", "summary": "Can I collect unemployment after being laid off from my W-2 job but retained by the same company for 1099 work?"} {"id": "t3_2fqgcr", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "How do I approach this girl?", "post": "I see this girl around my dorm building(we've been here for like a week) every once and a while and I want to talk to her. The few times I've passed her I've chickened out because I didn't know what to say. Next time I want to go for it and I want to say something along the lines of \"Hey I've seen you around a couple of times and I think you're really pretty so I wanted to introduce myself 'intro here' and I was wondering if I could get your number?\"\n\n The only thing is that I dunno if it's too forward to ask her for her number right away or if that's normal. I'd make small talk but whenever I see her she looks like she's headed somewhere and I can't just interrupt her with small talk. Also sometimes I've heard it's better to give her yours instead of asking but I dunno if carrying around my number on a slip of paper specifically for her would be weird, and also I've heard other people say that giving the girl your number makes you look wimpy/like you're begging. What should I do?", "summary": "Girl in my dorm I see semi-rarely,want to make interest clear/get the digits, don't want to be a weirdo, how-do?"} {"id": "t3_2bkh8c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 M] am quiet by nature. Do I have to change to meet someone?", "post": "I don't say a lot even among friends. The only person I've felt comfortable engaging in enthusiastic conversation with is my brother.\nI am a good listener and enjoy hearing what people have to say and I will answer questions just briefly. I tend to show friendliness through favors, helping out, paying for stuff without asking for money back, that sort of stuff.\n\nHowever I'm not good at making new friends because I'm not a good conversationalist. And I've never even been on a date because I'm not good at talking to girls. I've been trying to get a date for the 2 years I've been in college and I haven't had a luck because it's against my nature to engage someone in conversation.\n\nDo I have to change the way I am to meet people (hopefully girls) or is there some way to play to my strengths and weaknesses?", "summary": "I tend to show friendliness through actions rather than words and I'm wondering if I have to change this if I actually want to get a date?"} {"id": "t3_2br530", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU trying to get my friend drunk (nsfw?)", "post": "Some back story, one of my best friends decided to have a party at his place while his parents were out of town (he's rich so it was a nice ass house) and I told him I'd help him set it up. While we were getting everything ready he told me that he wanted to blackout tonight, I told him I'd be damned if he I didn't make sure of it. Fast forward to the party, I come around every 20 mins or so to make sure he got a shot of whatever I could get my hands on. Now this is where I fucked up. I'm a skinny ass mother fucker so I couldn't handle nearly as much as my friend could. So I ended up absolutely shit-faced 1 1/2 hours into the party. Apparently I ended up playing a shit ton of guitar hero with some friends, hit on some girls, and then proceeded to throw up all over myself... Thankfully I'm not going to see most of those people ever again, but I had my phone in my vomit-ridden pocket. Now my phone is royally fucked.", "summary": "tried to help a friend get drunk, forgot I was a lightweight, kicked ass at guitar hero, threw up all over myself, and fucked up my phone."} {"id": "t3_3u706h", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "I've been arrested for possession of marijuana and adderal without a prescription.", "post": "I'm a 21 year-old Mechanical Engineering student and I live on campus at my school in the metro-Atlanta area. I have been a student here for a while, now. I used to be a huge smoker a year ago when I lived off campus, found it detrimental to my status as a student, and moved back immediately. This Friday was my last day before my Thanksgiving break and I wanted to unwind for the week. I bought an 8th and threw it in my stash jar. I went to lunch earlier that day with a friend with an Addy prescription, and after talking about how difficult it was for me study and stay focused, he gave me a few pills that I never even intended on using, I just threw them in my stash jar also. A friend of mine was walking up the stairs to my apartment with another friend of mine and he was very blatantly and loudly talking about smoking. Someone in my building overheard him and called the cops on us. When the cops knocked on my door, my friend's gram, my piece and my grinder were clearly visible. They searched my stuff and found other pieces, but not my personal stash jar. Keep in mind these are campus police, and that they don't need a warrant to come in and search what is already out in the open. The cop asked me if I had any other drugs to report, and I handed over my stash jar out of absolute fear they'd find it anyway, as it wasn't very well hidden in my closet admittedly. They arrested me for possession of Addy and weed and I'm looking at a felony and a misdemeanor, getting kicked out of school, or at the very least my apartment at school, and thousands and thousands of lawyer, court and bond fees. As of right now, I have no court date, I've paid 572.00 dollars towards my bond set at $5720, have gotten in contact with a Drug and Alcohol counselor, and have been referred to a handful of lawyers by coworkers and friends. This is also my first offense and the police report given to me is riddled with evidence that shows I was polite, kind and cooperative to the arresting officers.", "summary": "got caught with weed and Addy on campus at school, I'm looking at a felony and misdemeanor. Just looking for some advice. Thank you all very much."} {"id": "t3_2jmvoo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've [29M] never had a mutual attraction to someone.", "post": "My \" love \" life ( for lack of a better word ) is one of the few things in my life that is consistent. That being I've never had a mutual attraction to someone. I'm comfortable with my sexuality, I know what I'm attracted to. I've just never had anything \" mutual \". I attract crazy women, jail bait, and women I'm not attracted to ( be it physical, personality, or not having a \" spark \" with said person ). When I'm attracted to someone they either want to be friends or want nothing to do with me. Yet the reverse is also true if someone is attracted to me I want nothing to do with them. I'd rather remain single my entire life then lower my standards and I see S.M.V ( Sexual Market Value ) as demeaning to say the least. The reason I won't lower my standards is simple I don't want to have sex with someone that I'm not attracted too. That's not to say I view sex as being the only thing in a relationship. I want someone I can share my passions with, my dreams my goals and be intimate with. I can't really see myself being intimate with someone if they turn me off or are sexually repulsive. All this does is leave me with unanswered questions. Like. Am I going to remain single my entire life or is their any hope for a guy that has been single as long as I have ? Is lowering my standards really the **ONLY** hope I have ? Or if I do lower my standards can I really be happy in a sexless relationship ? Like I stated I won't lower my standards but these question do bother me.", "summary": "My lack of mutual attraction is starting to get to me. And I'm wondering if this is the way I'm going to live the rest of my life being single."} {"id": "t3_33jn6w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21F) think I've fallen out of love with my (22M) boyfriend.", "post": "I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I don't feel very happy with him anymore. \n\nThe sex is great, we get along amazingly, and he's a pretty great boyfriend. \n\nBut recently I've just started losing interest. I'm not happy the way I was when things were beginning. We've been together for a little over 3 months, but we have known each other since 2013, we dated back then for a bit. \n\nI've just begun questioning if I'm truly happy with him. I've finally just met his parents and currently his friends are at the house (I haven't met them yet) but I'm so sick that I am laying upstairs on the bedroom. \n\nI need a little advice. I don't want to end it just because I *think* I'm unhappy. I truly love him, and I just don't know what to do.", "summary": "Think I might be losing interest in my boyfriend, but don't want to make a mistake and end it without truly realizing how I feel."} {"id": "t3_10p71r", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "The local fire department tried to block my wife and me in a local park parking lot. Redditors, what defining moment in your life made you lose hope in humanity?", "post": "So my wife and I finally had the night to ourselves with the kid at a sleepover. We drive to the local park for a romantic(ish) walk together. When we get back to the car and try to exit the parking area from the main exit we find it blocked off for a \"Movie in the park\" night. This parking lot has two entrances/exits so we drive to the other one to find it also blocked off...this time by a fire truck and some of the local firemen. As I motion to them that I need to exit, they wave me back in the direction of the turnabout that leads to the blocked main exit. Never mind that this would be something of a hazard, there were plenty of other people who had parked before this whole blockade had been put into place. I nicely ask the fireman to let us out and the following was out discussion:\n\nMe: Sir, we need to get out of the parking lot.\nFire man (FM): Use the other exit, this one is blocked off.\nMe: You guys blocked the other exit off, too.\nFM: (gives me a blank stare for a few seconds then calls over 3 of his fellow fire fighters).\n\nIt is a good 2 or 3 minutes for them to come to the stunning conclusion that \"Hmm, this *could* be a problem\".\n\nEventually they decided it was best to let us and others out to return to our homes but I think I lost the last of my faith in humanity. I also hope they never try this approach with a burning house.\n\n;", "summary": "Firemen blocked off the only two exits of a parking lot and had to form a council of 4 to deduce that it *may* cause a problem somehow."} {"id": "t3_2inpp2", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How to Convince an ex (27/M) to try friends with benefits with me (24/F)?", "post": "I need advice here people. I'm 24(f) and he's 27. We were together for almost five years, until we just broke up. He was my first major boyfriend, and the first guy I ever slept with. At first my goal was to try to talk to him and see if we could make it work. I really don't think that is going to work this time. So since reforming a relationship/any kind of dating is out of the question I would like to try friends with benefits. Because that would be better than nothing. I am pretty sure he's on the fence about it, but does anyone have any advice about things I could say during our conversation to help convince him it's a good idea?", "summary": "Need advice on how to convince my very recent ex on giving friends with benefits a try, since for me that would be better than nothing."} {"id": "t3_rca5k", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, am I a horrible son?", "post": "My mom just told me that we would be going skiing for a trip on spring break, and she wanted to surprise me. I am a senior in High School, and I am desperately trying to save money for college. I work 30 hours a week during the school year, and it has me exhausted 24/7, so I love any opportunity to be able to work when school is out. She did this during winter break as well, both times I have been upset and thus made her extremely sad, making me feel like a shitty son. Not only that, but I now have to ask off work, when I am currently in the running for a promotion. I love her but she doesn't get it. Am I right to be mad?", "summary": "My mom scheduled a spring break trip for me and now I have to ask off work. I to mad, she got sad, and I feel like shit."} {"id": "t3_34r9c3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "27f not sure where i'm going wrong with 27m of 6 months", "post": "We dated 3 months and he dumped me. We had gotten back in contact after I'd texted that I was distracted when we dated and wanted to meet up. He agreed because wanted to give things another shot because he said he dumped me because I didn't seem interested enough when we dated the first time, like that I wasn't engaged enough during dates, never initiated plans, etc. (which was valid considering I was dating two people at once and was depressed then).\n\nNow that we've been seeing each other again for a few months, he's been distant this time. He's been unemployed for 6 months and I know he's forgetful and lazy as a result of depression. Like he'll go along with things but doesn't initiate anymore in the last month. I'm showing him I'm interested like he wanted but he's been distant. Confused because why would he be distant if I'm showing interest if that was the supposed problem?", "summary": "We dated before and he said I wasn't interested enough, yet now that I am he's not taking things to a new level. Confused..."} {"id": "t3_45e0ce", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "girl [17 F] won't stop messaging me (24 M) on social media and spies on me in person.", "post": "I met this chick at a school club get-together for the super bowl. \n\nShes new to the US and I thought it would be cool to have an international friend, so we chatted at the party. She stated that she liked hiking, and since I plan hiking trips at my school I suggested for her to come to the club. This was 4 days ago.\n\nSo i got her facebook info. The next day she somehow found my intagram info and added me, I didn't think anything of it at the time. \n\nAnd the madness begins...\n\nThe next day she starts messaging me on fb messenger. Like, non stop chit chat. I went about ignoring most of her attempts to get me to talk. She would say stuff like, \"hey, just got home.\" or \"are you doing homework?....\" and I would give one word answers but still she keeps on going. Its super frustrating. She even went so far as to bug me at 1030 p.m. tonight to come and help her move one grocery bag up to her dorm... I said \"Sorry I can't\" then she got all spiteful toward me. Keep in mind I don't know anything about her, only talked once in person at a party.\n\nI think she likes me so I want nothing to do with her anymore. On top of that she moved into my building on campus. She alerts me when my roommates are coming in and texts me when she sees me from her room. Its really creepy.\n\nI ended up blocking her on facebook.\n\nI know we will bump into each-other on campus, what should I do if she brings up the fact that I blocked her? I'm thinking about just saying \"I deactivated my facebook.\" I just don't want to be too much of a prick.", "summary": "underage girl bugging the crap out of me, borderline stalking me. Blocked her on facebook but will run into her in person due to location. How should I proceed?"} {"id": "t3_3qbgrx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my wife[26 F] of 3 years, my aunt[60sF] just started a relationship with my wifes' mother......my mom is pissed", "post": "Ok so I never thought I'd have to post here but here I am. So a little back round. My mom and dad have never been supportive of my aunt and her \"life style choices\" as my mom calls it. However they have always been polite and nice to her at family gatherings. I constantly have to point out their bigotry but they just throw the bible in my face.\n\nOk so Last night I got a text from my mom stating that her and my dad got an email from my aunt that she is now in a relationship with my wifes mother. She was super pissed and basically told me that they will be cutting my aunt out of there lives for her \"poor choice in a mate\". I love my aunt and really love having her in my life. I feel more comfortable talking about important things with her than I do my parents so cutting her out of my life is not an option. However I don't want to estrange my parents because even though they are backwoods bigots they are still my parents and I love them very much.\n\nMy wife is struggling with it cause well, It's her mom and my mother just called her mother a \"poor choice in a mate\". So she is pissed at my mom. Which I totally understand.\n\nSo my question is. How do I defuse the situation without losing any family members? is it possible? or is it a lost cause? Clearly my mom and dad are in the wrong. I am just baffled at the whole situation. I just need some advise", "summary": "My mom and dad are not supportive of my gay aunt. She is dating my wifes mother. mom called MIL a bad choice of mate. wifes pissed. I'm baffled. how to defuse the situation?"} {"id": "t3_39qvs2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20's F] with my father [60's M]: I'm scared he may be an alcoholic and I don't know what to do.", "post": "I think my father may be an alcoholic, but I was hoping someone who may have experience or some knowledge about it can help me out and help me figure out what to do.\n\nMy dad has a steady job and has never had drinks at work/ work functions. However, recently I noticed that his beer intake has grown. He drinks about six to eight 16oz (about 96-120 oz total) cans after he gets home from work. He's not verbally abusive/physically abusive, but he does get hard to understand and I worry because I feel like I have to take care of him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid like fall over/ trip and fall when he's cleaning. \n\nThe reason I'm writing this mostly is because today he drank an entire bottle of wine by himself along with 4 16oz beers, and he already asked my brother to go get him another 4 pack. \n\nHe used to drink a lot about 10 years ago, but he stopped and then started again in the past 4-5 years. His intake has grown tremendously, from two 8oz cans a day to now what I've described.\n\nI have anxiety, especially when it comes to things like this so I don't know what to do. If I bring it up he will get upset, but I don't know what else to do? Is he an alcoholic? Am I overreacting? Please help. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "My father drinks beer everyday after work, and gets drunk on the weekends. I'm not sure if this is alcoholism, and if it is I don't know how to bring it up. I'm mostly concerned for his health."} {"id": "t3_2kalee", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to fix my apartment building's rat problem.", "post": "For a number of reasons I'm stuck with my current apartment. Turned out that the building's entrance hall starts to smell terribly from time to time and it's been going on since the place was built.\n\nI got fed up with it and decided to find out what might be causing the stench. Went down to the basement and the place was littered with dead rats. Waste and rotting rat bodies piled right under the front entrance.\n\nDocumented everything, called the management company and threatened to call the authorities, if they don't fix it. So they did. Cleaned everything out, sealed all the windows and hatches, distributed poison, etc\u2026\n\nIt didn't fix the smell one bit, so there's some other source. And it turns out a few elderly ladies in our building were feeding stray cats, that lived in that same basement. Cats got kicked out now that it's closed off.\n\nSo naturally, I'm the worst thing that has ever happened to this Earth. The ladies are convinced I was after the cats and broke a delicate equilibrium - the building is surely going to get infested now that they're gone.\n\nThey spend all of their time on a porch out front and I can't leave the apartment without being harassed. They've been telling everybody what a horrible animal-hater I am and the fact that I live there somehow doesn't compute to them. They act surprised and agitated every time I pass by.", "summary": "Called in about rats in my building. Accidentally got cats kicked out instead. Hated by my crazy neighbours now."} {"id": "t3_ykvlh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [25F] of 4 years takes break from relationship for 3 months. I [27M] am fed up with the arrangement. Both want to go to relationship counseling but she refuses to give up sleeping with other person while we go.", "post": "Me [27M] and my girlfriend [25F] have been together for over 4 years. Things have been rocky sometimes, but overall pretty good. She decides 3 months ago to \"take a break\" so she can figure some things out. I try to be supportive, we set boundaries, and she does her thing. Needless to say, boundaries have been broken and now I have trust issues.\n\nFast forward to last night. I have decided I am no longer interested in this \"taking a break\" state. I have been very unhappy during these last 3 months due to broken boundaries. I tell her this. Instead of breaking up, she wants to go to relationship counseling. I agree that I would give this a shot but that I require the following:\n\n- She stop sleeping with him\n- She break contact with him\n\nShe thinks this is unreasonable because I don't trust her. Her logic is that if she stops sleeping with him, I might not believe her, so she should just sleep with him. She also will not cut ties with him because he is the only person at her work that is near her age and she is friends with (NOTE: coworkers was one of those boundaries I asked for because of the complication is causes, she broke this boundary).\n\nAm I being unreasonable by asking these things?", "summary": "4yr relationship went on break. She wants to go to relationship counseling but keep sleeping with her lover while we work on things. I think it's nuts but am looking for another opinion."} {"id": "t3_2o3577", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[19/F] My ex's (19/M) girlfriend (18/F) has hit on me several times without him knowing", "post": "Hi, Reddit. I'm in a very unusual situation. I'll call my ex Joe for this story. I met my Joe (19) when we were both 17. I instantly fell in love and we were dating for an entire year when he left me for someone else. I was shattered. 3-4 months later they broke up, as she had cheated on him several times, with both guys and girls. Joe and I remained friends during this time and after two months we got back together. I know it was a stupid decision. \n\nWell, we dated for 2-3 months more and this girl decides to come back to him and he leaves me again (I know I shouldn't have been surprised). At this point, I decide to cut all contact with him. I go by his place when he's not there to collect part of my things and she's there. At first she just started making small talk, then she kissed me out of no where. I told her I was heterosexual and she told me she had huge crush on me, but knew Joe would be angry and asked me not tell him. Two weeks and several drunk texts later, she's hit on my numerous times and made her intentions with me very clear. I still needed to get the rest of my things though, so I went to his place and she was there. She was sober, so I didn't think I needed to worry about her coming on to me, but she kissed me AGAIN. \n I know this is a dream for a lot of guys, but Joe would definitely be very upset if he knew about this and I'm not sure if I should tell him or not.", "summary": "Ex's gf has kissed me twice and hit on me several times and wants to get with me. My ex would be very upset at this taking place."} {"id": "t3_1ugre9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I (27F) be upset that my BF (26M) didn't get me ANYTHING for my Birthday on Christmas?", "post": "We've been together for about 6 years and living together for approx. 3 years. I've had conversations with him in the past about this so he is aware of how I feel. He knows, at the least, a card would mean a lot. I used to give him gifts/cards for Birthdays and random things I think he might enjoy. He's always thankful to receive gifts, but he's never really returned the favor. \n\nMy BF is doing very well for himself financially and buys quality Christmas gifts for his large family (sometimes hundreds of dollars on one gift). All I wanted for my Birthday (aka Christmas) was to do something low-key together. Go to Dinner. Watch a Movie. He works from Home and decides his own hours. After waiting and having him \"postpone\" things for weeks, it was already Christmas Eve. He had let the hours and days slip into weeks and a month. I realized, after all the patience and waiting, that none of the Christmas things I wanted to do for my Birthday was happening. Around 1am on Christmas Day (after a heated discussion), he decided to purchase me a 3-month subscription to Spotify. It upset me. I still feel silly having spent over an hour looking for his Christmas gift weeks earlier while he hastily clicked send in the middle of the night.\n\nWe went to his family's house for Christmas. I spend many hours wrapping gifts for his family every year. I wasn't expecting much, but while celebrating Christmas at his family's, I hoped someone would remember that it was my Birthday. I've been hanging out with his family for years now. No one remembered. Maybe he didn't tell them. Maybe they forgot. It was disappointing though. I felt like an outsider as I sat on the floor watching everyone exchange gifts on my Birthday, wishing each other Merry Christmas.\n\nOver the years, similar instances of his laziness and selfishness has left me questioning whether I want this to work or not. Am I overreacting? Am I entitled to be upset? Or should I shut up and get over it?", "summary": "My BF has not gotten me anything for my Birthday, which is on Christmas... for the past 4 of 6 years of our live-in relationship."} {"id": "t3_1ttutu", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(17/m) In a great relationship with my girlfriend (17/f), but facing some issues", "post": "We are both high school seniors who will be going to college in a year. The college I am going to is about 3 1/2 hours away from the one she will be attending. She has been my only serious girlfriend up to this point, and she wants to stay together through college and then move in together. Every time I'm with her, I have so much fun. She is so great, but in the back of my mind I want to have experiences with different girls. Not sure what to do/think. I know if I break up with her, she may be gone forever, and I know that I'm really in love with this girl.", "summary": "In a great relationship with my girlfriend, but I think I want to date different people in college. Need some help!"} {"id": "t3_2nx3h9", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "The moral of the story is: don't be a crazy stalking spouse.", "post": "Backstory: I recently found that my husband has been secretly sexting (real) people. We're trying to work through it all but I'm still feeling really betrayed and inadequate. I'm not entirely convinced it never got physical.... \n\nToday, he receives a text from a number not saved to his contacts while I'm next to him. He says it's a wrong number and hastily deletes it. A bit later, the same number calls him; he doesn't pick up. I memorize the number. I ask why he's not responding to it and he gets angry.\n\nI wait til he's asleep and send a simple \"hey\" from his phone to the number I committed to memory. Long story short: I figure out that it's his ex-wife and she tells him (me) that she's started cutting again. She states she needs help. I stopped texting and deleted the exchange, panicked and feeling tremendously guilty. \n\nHave been laying here mulling it over in my head. As a former cutter, I can't not do anything. She and I have never communicated, but I think I'm going to write back to her from my own number and refer her to some resources. I know that this likely means my husband will find out and this will set us back again. \n\nAny ideas on how I can get her these resources without incriminating myself?", "summary": "I crazywifestalked my husband's phone and inadvertently ended up receiving \"I started cutting again\" cries for help from his exwife..."} {"id": "t3_yodfo", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I've moved on - why does this hurt so much? (X-Post, r/Relationships)", "post": "Hi, guys. I'll try to keep this brief, but give all the backstory I need to make myself clear.\n\nAt the beginning of December, I [19 f] broke up with my first long term boyfriend [18 m]. First kiss, first lover, first everything. We dated for almost two years. It was a very toxic relationship, he was selfish and sexist, very immature and very dominant, but I never realized it because I had never experienced anything else. Even sex with him was never anything special. We never \"made love.\" We just had sex.\n\nIn February, I met the most wonderful guy on earth. He is everything my first boyfriend wasn't, and I am head over heels madly in love with him. Every time we make love, it is passionate and loving and perfect.\n\nMy ex-boyfriend, all the while, still showed signs of not moving on, and swore up and down that he would never find anyone else for him, nor would ever want to.\n\nToday, however, I found out that my ex-boyfriend has been casually hooking up all summer with a girl we both know, whom he will be attending college with, both as freshmen. I also found out that he blocked me from Facebook, and unfollowed me on other social networking websites, seemingly unprompted.\n\nI thought I had moved on. I have no complaints about my relationship - heck - or even my life. But why does this hurt so much? Is it wrong to wish, even just a little bit, that he still hadn't moved on? I guess I just miss feeling wanted. Even from someone who treated me so awfully.\n\nAny words of advice, or similar stories?", "summary": "Moved on from toxic relationship, ex-boyfriend didn't until recently, when he started hooking up casually with a mutual friend. Why does this hurt so much?"} {"id": "t3_1hxurf", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "24[F] still madly in love with ex, but content with new bf.. not sure what to do", "post": "I'll keep this short and sweet.\n\nMy ex of 3 years and I split up a while ago, and during the time apart I've never not thought about him or not missed him, even after I moved on and entered a new relationship. I'm happy with my current boyfriend, but a large part of me wants to get back with my ex (he very much wants us to have another chance, but not immediately; he wants us to keep focusing on improving ourselves and get back together when the time is 'right').\n\nI'm not sure if I should 'give up' on that relationship and move on. I'm not sure if I even can.", "summary": "I still love my ex, despite having a new relationship that makes me as happy. Can't stop thinking about wanting to be with my ex."} {"id": "t3_4lbgh5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(Advice) My (17f) boyfriend (19m) doesn't trust me?", "post": "So I've been dating my bf a year and a half now its long distance but we met recently and it was amazing I'm seeing him again over the summer. So a couple weeks ago we had an argument because I said something and he miss heard me and I swore up and down that I was telling the truth but still he didn't believe me it made me upset and I was. Clearly upset but still he wouldn't believe me. This happened again last week, and it really upset me but that time it was before School Be cause he usually wakes me up for school and we talk before I go in. This morning his brother came in and didn't believe me about something too and it made me feel bad and then I remembered how he never didn't believe me too which made me feel worse. I've never given him a reason to not trust me EVER and yet he didn't believe. \n\nSo I brought it up to him and he said that he only pretended to not believe me because he missed me and wanted to keep me talk??? So I said but I was clearly upset and he said ik again I just wanted you to keep talking. Then he said that he missed me even though we talk every single day I wake him up for work he wakes me up for school we talk all the time from 3pm when I wake him up to 10pm when he comes into work then he wakes me up at 6am to go to school. So how can he miss me?? This week we didn't really talk in the morning because I've been severely depressed so its been difficult for me to get out the bed or I just wanted to be alone. The thing that makes me angry is that he tried to turn it around and say that the reason why he did this was because he missed me thinking that we had that fight this week when I didn't talk to him in the morning much but \n This fight was last week. What do I do do I stay mad at him do I confront him again or do I ignore it?", "summary": "my boyfriend thought I was lying during two small fights we had even though I've never given him a reason to not trust me and I don't know if I should talk to him about it because we keep fighting."} {"id": "t3_3bhmhh", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Me [24M] and my girlfriend [25F] broke up recently out of the blue, she asked to brake up but was really distraught about it... What happened?", "post": "We've been dating for 4 months and we had some drama in the beginning (ex tried to intimidate her), but during our last month together everything was good. Then on a Friday after work she comes home and when I go to kiss her she stops me and says: I've been praying and I can't shake this feeling, I feel that God is telling me to call this relationship off\". She was crying, we hugged and we kissed each other's foreheads telling each other we loved each other. She asked me not to call her or text her because it would make the break up impossible for her. She grabbed her stuff and left noticeably sad (as if she got dumped). I begged her to stay... I really do care about her... What happened? Should I go after her? Or should I let her be?", "summary": "we really love each other and connect in a deep level, but she wanted to break up because she said God was warning her. She was very upset."} {"id": "t3_2c1blt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Did my girlfriend cheat on me?", "post": "For the past two months my girlfriend (who I have been dating for the past year) has been studying abroad and doing a service trip in a foreign country. It's been pretty smooth sailing until yesterday. Last night my girlfriend sent me this message over facebook \"We had a thank you dinner tonight for the people who helpes while we were here which was fun but then a bunch of the girls wanted to go to a bar since its our last opportunity to do something like that so we all went but I hated it. The guys there kept grabbing me and pulling me into dance. Some like sandwhiched me inbetween them and another just brushed his fingers across my chest. It was honesetly the worst experience ive had here. Thanks for never pressuring me into anything or being forceful. I love you\" Then I sent a long and lenghty response and asking her what I could do, how to make her feel better, etc. and she responded with \"Theres nothing you can do until Im home and with you. I know im probably just paranoid and its nothing but why didn't she just tell the guys to stop? or say no to dancing? and if she wanted them to stop it would have been fairly easy to stop them in a bar full of people right? Please let me know what everyone thinks and that it is nothing and im paranoid. We are both 20 years old and have been dating for a year.", "summary": "My girlferiend has been studying abroad and went to a bar and I think she might have made an excuse for cheating on me"} {"id": "t3_4hmj4w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my ex [24 F] of 4 years. Should I seek closure after years of no contact.", "post": "Hi reddit, \n\nMe and my ex shared one of those big, only-a-few-times-in-your-life relationships. Unfortunately it didn't work out as most relationships don't when you go from being a teenager to a panicking semi-adult. \n\nThe break-up was somewhat messy, but nothing insanely bad. I'm sure she regrets some things as do I. We were both on the cusp of change and although our ambitions and life goals had never NOT been aligned, I think the relationship itself just got too big for us. This combined with the honeymoon period puttering out eventually suffocated the whole thing. \n\nWe've barely been in contact in two years. Pretty much not at all. I think I sent her a letter a year ago saying that even though we both got burnt, I was still happy that we had gone through the experience. She never replied and I would've been shocked if she did. \n\nHere's my problem. I don't think I'm completely over her and I don't know if she is either. But then again, two years is a long time and I have made some headway. I know what went wrong. What I messed up and where she messed up, but the knowledge barely gives me any comfort. I think the thought of her scares me. Seeing and talking to her scares me like a shock of electricity, ya dig? So I think, if we'd just meet and talk maybe I'd be easier to work through it. \n\nIt's a mess. I'd love to get advice from others who've been in my position. Does the elusive 'closure' actually exist? Do ex's get together again? \n\nThanks.", "summary": "Does closure exist? Do ex's get together? Should I talk to her after two years of no contact. She's still in my head and life is confusing."} {"id": "t3_1o17zx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Redditors in a relationship: if in a dream you had the opportunity to have sex with someone other than your partner, would you?", "post": "My thought has always been this: say you and another person could have sex and you are 100% certain no one but you and that person would ever know. Most people who consider themselves faithful would decline the opportunity. Now, say the opportunity presents itself in a dream where you could have sex with another person. Most people who consider themselves faithful would say they would do it, but what's the difference?\n\nAnd please don't tell me you can't control yourself in dreams. Sure, you may not be able to run as fast as want to when you're being chased by a storm, but no one has ever claimed they dreamt they were having sex and they couldn't stop. Fun fact: Blue's Clues taught me how to control my dreams.", "summary": "I don't see much difference between \"cheating\" on someone by having sex with another person in a dream and cheating on someone by having sex with another person in real life. "} {"id": "t3_39jvcs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [27 M] Wife [23 F] of just under 1 year said that her \"love language\" is different than she had previously said.", "post": "Backstory:\n\nWhen we started getting serious about our relationship a few years ago we read the book \"The 5 Love Languages.\" She had told me that her's were \"receiving gifts\" and \"acts of service.\" So for that past 3 years I have been showering her with gifts and doing things for her (dishes, laundry, trash, general house work) to show that I love her. She had never shown any real response to what I was doing. It seemed like she didn't care. I continued showing her how I loved her by doing these things. I would do romantic things for her like cook dinner for her and have dozens of roses everywhere in the house or buy out restaurants and fill them with candles and roses so she felt special. \n\nWhat happened tonight:\n\nShe came home from spending a week with her family saying that I don't show her that I love her and that her love languages are not gifts and acts of service, but rather words of affirmation and me telling her how I love her. I am not a well spoken man and I have never been one. \n\nIt almost seems like she wants to end our marriage because she doesn't feel loved. She said she hates who she has become because of me. \n\nI am going to try my hardest to tell her how I feel and to encourage her. But I'm not sure if it will be enough.", "summary": "She changed her mind on how she wants me to show her affection and love. Now she wants to leave me because of it. "} {"id": "t3_3d5a6o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my GF [20 F] -- She wants financial security but I'm headed down the entrepreneur/business owner path", "post": "We've been together around 6 months now, everything is going beyond well, but she's realizing that she will never feel financially stable unless I have a degree. \n\nMy business is very immune to market conditions(buying/selling products) and I know that I can always move to a new product and maintain cash flow. It's risky to her to keep opening/closing businesses, where I see it as business as usual. Even if I had a bankroll and a track record, she still wouldn't feel comfortable with this.\n\nThe more we talk, it seems as though it isn't so much about the degree, but a matter of going down the beaten path. My mentality is to go where the best opportunity lies, even if it is on the off-beaten path.\n\nShe has some trouble with wanting to control the world around her, though I'm not sure if that is at play or if that's what she truly wants.\n\nWe're so incredibly in love with each other and have already talked with eachother's parents about our future potential and marriage, but this is a make or break issue we have.\n\nWe're very picky with who we date(both single for many years) and we click on so many things we didn't think it was possible to be so connected to someone.", "summary": "Despite being in love, we have a different mentality towards life. We want to spend our lives together, but this is a make/break situation and we don't know how to proceed. "} {"id": "t3_185e7m", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "If you know a dirty secret about your close friends SO, should you keep quiet?", "post": "Hey guys.\nSo i am at a loss. I've been put in a pretty awkward position in a situation that is now effecting me and my fianc\u00e9.\n\nHere's the story...\n\nI have worked at the same place for 5 years. For most of that time I have worked side by side with a girl there. She is a few years younger than me and is pretty innocent and not very street smart. Her and I have become great friends over the years and I care a lot about her.\nI have known her boyfriend, who works with my fianc\u00e9, for a very long time. \n\nHer boyfriend, since I've know him, uses drugs on weekends for fun with friends. His girlfriend, my work friend, knows he has done this in the past and tells me that he hasn't done drugs since he's been with her. She always says she is so proud of him as well as herself for \"fixing\" him. Which is really not something I agree with. I learned early on that you can't change anyone if they don't want to change themselves.\n\nAnyways, here is the problem. Her boyfriend is lying to her and has been for years. He still uses drugs with his friends when they spend time apart. I know this because the other day he tried to give my fianc\u00e9 shrooms. AT WORK! I was pretty pissed. My fianc\u00e9 was taken back as well. My fianc\u00e9 said that my friends boyfriend has told him many times about using recreational drugs on the weekends. He also told him that his girlfriend has no idea.\n\nI care a great deal about my friend and am not sure what to do. The other day I felt like telling her to tell her boyfriend not to try to give drugs to my fianc\u00e9 at work. He could get fired. But at this point I'm not sure how much of this involves me or what I should do. If my fianc\u00e9 was lying to me for years about using drugs I would want someone to tell me. I just don't know that it's my place to tell her. I don't wanna be a douche and rat him out, or ruin their relationship. She loves him so much and seems so happy. What the hell should I do?", "summary": "I know that my good friends boyfriend is using drugs and has been lying to her about it for years. Should I tell her or keep out of their business?"} {"id": "t3_g9b03", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My girlfriend may desperately need my support, at a stressful life changing time.", "post": "First time poster after browsing for years; I hope that I am posting in the right subreddit, please feel free to redirect before things get repetitive. I am also fully aware that audience outside of the UK may have difficulty understanding the UK academic system however in all honesty the back story is not dependent on responding to the premise. Anyway, onwards:\n\nMy girlfriend, of 4 years, suffers from performance anxiety after being bullied during her early teens (before she knew me and for the for the first year of our relationship). She got good grades at GCSE (yep, from THAT side of the pond) from grades A-C in 10 subjects. Since then she has failed all but a couple of modules in her A levels. I am not too keen on submitting exactly what her A levels are, she has been known to browse reddit on occasion, but lets say they are not easy subjects. She currently has offers from 4 universities in the UK, all requiring very low grades that reflect her AS level performance, however her school are skeptical as to whether she will meet them. I have always been supportive of my girlfriend and would never want to even discuss any alternative arrangements as I don't want to make her feel as if I am doubting her, however should things not go to plan I don't want to find myself in an awkward situation, unable to help. I am worried that she may not get into university and really just wanted to know how reddit felt, without it turning into a circlejerk on pro/anti-university. It is stressful for my girlfriend as she works so hard, gets good marks in her practice papers only to see the grades slip through her fingers when it gets to crunch time. I have offers to do Economics to 3 Top 10 Universities and can say hand on heart she has alot to offer. I will however be very busy once I start my courses in late september and will therefore not be in the best position to help her at all times. So ladies and gentlemen or reddit, I am therefore asking you your opinion and/or experience on what she should do should she not be able to get into university and, perhaps in a way more importantly, in what ways might I be as supportive as possible.", "summary": "My very able but performance anxiety suffering girlfriend may not get into university this summer and pursue her chosen career. How might I best handle the worst case scenario and what advice might you give her should she not get into university?"} {"id": "t3_2lwdrd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27M] with my Fiance [27F] of 11 years, Feeling strong romantic feelings about an old friend; confused/frustrated not sure what to make of it.", "post": "A little background: I've been with my fiance for 11 years now. We met in high school. A little after we met, she introduced me to a friend of hers(27F now), whom I had a few classes with, and become close friends with as well. Turned out that she had a crush on me back then. I always had a bit of an attraction to her, as well, but I remained faithful to my girl.\nAfter high school my girlfriend and I stayed together, we now live together and are planning on getting married (eventually). I've kept in on and off contact with the friend, helping her through life stuff, being a good friend. I see her every few months or so.\n\nLast few years, I've been finding myself thinking more and more about her (the friend). Having dreams. General thoughts about her, that kinda thing. \n\nAt this point I'm thinking about her all the time. The damnedest thing is, I still love my fiance. I would do anything for her, and I want to be with her, but I can't stop thinking about my friend.\n\nI'm losing sleep over this, and have no idea what to do/how to proceed. Can a man actually love two women? I'm just so damned confused and frustrated about the whole thing...\n\nAny words of advice would be greatly appreciated, guys.\n\nAdditionally: I've been having really strong urges to tell the friend how I've been feeling. I don't even know why. I don't even necessarily want her to feel the same way. I just feel like she needs to know. I can't explain my logic on this... Anyone who can help me make sense of these feelings would be my hero.", "summary": "I've been with my Fiance for 11 years, and I'm afraid that I'm in love with an old friend as well... I'm confused and worried and feeling guilty and not sure what to do..."} {"id": "t3_411od9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (29/M) am having emotional issues in my relationship with my gf (28/f). Need advice in handling emotions and suggestions on dealing with them.", "post": "I have been struggling in my relationship with my girlfriend for about 3 months now with getting upset or frustrated over little things with her. These little things have lead to long conversations and often leads to fighting that can carry on for up to a day or two. The irony is that I feel like I'm rational when I get the emotion of being upset, angry, irritated but after realize that I may be off side. Even when I feel like it's justified, I ask myself after why I couldn't have just taken the high road and be a \"man about it\". \n\nMore recently, i.e. the last 2 weeks, it's been chaos with almost one issue a day that's at least caused some friction. We are seeing each other almost every day and I feel like that can be a huge part of it, but nevertheless I can't rationalize my thoughts after having some time to think about the emotion. These last two weeks I've started to be really hard on myself, having trouble functioning at work and suffering from being extremely down and perhaps even depressed. I know that my I'm constantly starting friction and that after I do, I feel so down because I'm telling myself that I can't be doing this if I want to be in this relationship long term. \n\nI guess I'm wondering if anyone has had to deal with constant emotion in a relationship where it would lead to friction or fighting, and how you overcame the emotion and took the high road. Geez it seems so simple when it's written down but I'm really struggling with it. I love this girl and fear that another week of this will be the end. \nDISCLAIMER: I am seeking professional help.", "summary": "I am getting upset easily and causing friction often. How do I attend to these emotions without showing them or causing any issues?? Tips?"} {"id": "t3_wyywl", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Minimum Wage Drones of Reddit, What Are Your Best Customer Harassment Stories?", "post": "So I'm home from university for the summer, and I work a summer job at a large music venue directing cars in the parking lots. For some reason a majority of the people that leave the venue find it acceptable to harass the employees working in the parking lot because we only make minimum wage and therefore (in their minds) we're useless. Yesterday, a 40+ year, old beer bellied ginger man, kept telling me and my co-workers he was going to go \"Aurora Colorado\" on us, because we were \"lazy fucks\" and wouldn't help him get a cab. The thing is we don't control the cabs, and the guests have to call a cab if they want one, and its completely out of our control when the cabs come. He then started to pick fights with families waiting for cabs and kept calling some dad an \"old bitch\" in front of his family, because he wouldn't join him in harassing us. This happens almost every time I work at that music venue, for some reason people think A. min wage employees control the organization they work for and everything they don't like is their fault and B. because you're a min wage employee you're worthless and therefore its ok to harass you. So reddit, what are your best customer harassment stories towards you or any of your co-workers?", "summary": "Middle aged ginger man who should know better told me and my co-worker he was going to kill us because he couldn't find a cab."} {"id": "t3_o3ro9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit: Do you check for photo Id's on credit card purchases? If so, have people ever gotten upset because of it?", "post": "Today, I checked out a guy and he payed with his credit card. I then proceeded to ask for his ID in which he said \"My signature is on the back of the card and when I sign it will look exactly like it.\" I thought to myself \"Anyone can look at a signature and replicate it on a electronic signature machine.\" so I proceeded to tell him that I would prefer an actual photo ID. He then stumped me with \"Visa has a merchant agreement in which if the back of my card is signed then I don't have to show you my ID.\" Touche sir. Just proceeded with the purchase and he was on his way. But seriously, you'd think that people would be happy that you're at least checking IDs on credit cards to catch potential stolen cards. Whats your story?", "summary": "Checked out guy, asked for ID, got pissed and pulled merchant agreement card, made me feel like a douche."} {"id": "t3_23owz5", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "need advice on how to help my brother deal with the emotional toll of being burglarized by a \"friend\"", "post": "so this easter, my mother, brother, brothers gf and i visited family in canada. it was an amazing vacation of course, everyone wants a break from their \"real\" life. anyway, we returned home 5 days later to find my brothers apartment had been broken into, turned inside out, and emptied. 55\" LG smart tv, 32\" samsung tv, ps3, wii, 2 computers, keurig, tools, jewelry(given by family members who are no longer alive) . THEY TOOK EVERYTHING. his place looked like a before scene of a security system commercial. they even took his car. this great vacation chopped down by the grime of our society. to top it all off, he suspects that his first friend he met when he moved to CT was the one who either orchestrated it, or carried out the act , which you can tell my bro doesnt truely want to admit to himself. he drove this \"friends\" pregnant girlfriend around, dropped laundry, lent money, things friends do for friends. and this guy turns around and pulls some horrid act like this. i know my brother feels helpless and victimized because i feel that way and it wasnt even me that this happened to. he is already a person who silently suffers with mild depression because of his weight which leads him to already shy away from life. i dont want him to burrow deeper. how can i help him pick up and carry on? or get him to help himself?* I SHOULD ADD THIS \"FRIEND\" HAS PRIOR GUN CHARGES.", "summary": "99% of my brothers possesions were stolen from him by a person he considered a friend, while he was away on vacation and i dont know how to help him. ADVICE PLEASE."} {"id": "t3_1uc8wi", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by doing nothing wrong.", "post": "My eBay seller fees for December totaled $12.60. Fine. My PayPal balance was upwards of $50. Surely they'll charge me $12.60 from that, right?\n\nNOPE. Today I get a letter from my bank:\n\n> On 02 JAN 14, [bank name] received and returned an EFT (Electronic Funds Transfer) item UNPAID. A fee of $25.00 was charged to your [account number] account.\n\n> The EFT item was from PAYPAL for the amount of $12.60. The item was returned for the following reason: Insufficient Funds.\n\nI also get an email from PayPal:\n\n> Hello TortoiseWrath,\n\n> You recently attempted to transfer funds from your bank account. ^^^NO ^^^I ^^^FUCKING ^^^DIDN'T\nYour bank has declined the funds transfer because your account did not have sufficient funds available. We will automatically re-attempt this transfer in 3 business days. ^^^OH ^^^GREAT ^^^THANKS ^^^JUST ^^^KEEP ^^^NOT ^^^USING ^^^MY ^^^PAYPAL ^^^BALANCE Please fund your bank account immediately to ensure this transaction can be completed.\n\nI go to my bank. Great, the bank's closed and the ATM is broken. It is the only ATM within 100 miles.\n\nI try to transfer $25 out of my PayPal account to cover both the transaction they're repeatedly trying to make and the -$5 balance they've forced upon my bank account...\n\n> This will take three to four business days.\n\nFUCK YOU. Now you're going to overdraft my account again on Monday, aren't you? Probably in the middle of the night on Monday, before the bank opens so I still won't have any money in it.\n\nNaturally, when I contact PayPal about it, they blame it on me:\n\n> Because you did not ensure your bank account balance was greater than the transaction amount, we cannot assist you in this matter. Please fund your bank account immediately.\n\nSo apparently TIFU.", "summary": "PayPal decides to charge from my bank account instead of my PayPal balance, overdrawing my account. They blame it on me. I lose $25 and will probably lose $25 more."} {"id": "t3_34gnc7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(26m) hiding something, from me (26f). Am I crazy?", "post": "My fiance (m26) works from home occasionally. He went to the gas station to grab an energy drink and left his work PC up with a personal convo from a member of the opposite sex. \n\nThe convo says \"the girl is finally going to bite the bullet and buy something, she'll text him about it.\" I ask about it later, because I'm curious and wanted to know. I didn't go through his phone and didn't blind side him. I just let him know that he left it open and asked what she needed to buy that she couldn't text through work?\n\nHe gets defensive right off the bat asking why I went through his things, shrugs it off saying I should just trust him, and that this is a null argument. That me not trusting him is the core issue and I should just take it as that. I said that I wasn't really okay with that and he just says well I apologize.\n\nI thought being together as partners meant we shared everything. Am I crazy for bringing it up or do I have a right to be upset?", "summary": "member of opposite sex talks to my fiance about buying an item that was not fit for work chat/needed to be discussed through text and fiance says its not my business to know."} {"id": "t3_1fab6s", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "How should I (20 M) re-establish communication with an ex (19 F) after not speaking for a year?", "post": "We dated for over a year. She was an exchange student here in the US and my family hosted her after she got kicked out of her original host family. We were best friends and then a relationship happened. We continued to date long distance after she left for about 6 months until I went to visit her in her country over Christmas break for an entire month. She decided she couldn't keep doing long distance so we decided to break it off when I left. Then I made an ass of myself when I got back and realised I still wanted to be with her. I would get drunk and send her stupid messages on facebook and skype that were either hurtful, immature, desperate, angry or a combination of these. Then we just stopped talking, she because I was a dick, and I because I was embarrassed. We haven't spoken in over a year. Now, however, she is coming back during this summer to see old friends and such and she is staying with my family, being that we hosted her, and I am living here over the summer during my university's break. I have no idea what to do. I figured it would be best to try to re-establish communication to avoid awkward moments where we just play hide and seek trying to avoid the other. But... I haven't the slightest idea how to do this. I feel like just saying \"Hey! how are you\" is too casual and not in the right place for how things were left off.", "summary": "Ex is coming to visit. Haven't spoken in a year. How do I start speaking to her again before she gets here?"} {"id": "t3_3tech7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [20 F] break up with my boyfriend [20 M]??", "post": "I'll keep this short: my boyfriend and I started dating senior year of high school. We spent all of our time together. Now we're juniors in college and I'm not sure if I still want to be with him anymore. We've been together for almost 3 years now. Can you help me??? \n\n1. Pros: He's so loving to me. He takes care of me and is very helpful around the house (he even does my laundry). We both share a love of food and movies. He does absolutely anything I ask of him and gives me lots of hugs. \n\n2. Cons: We don't have very in-depth conversations about anything anymore. He's very insecure about himself and HAS NO CLOSE FRIENDS apart from me, meaning he's very clingy and spends ALL of his time on me. He doesn't like it when I want to travel or if I want to visit family over the weekend. He is not motivated and gets into sad moods sometimes that I can't get him out of, which in turn affects my mood. We are of different faiths and we are of different political parties. I also found that I don't like hanging out with him very much unless I get something out of it (like if I'm lonely). My boyfriend also works one small job and I usually pay for most of our expenses. \n\nAnd I don't want to have sex with him much, or make out, but he claims that those are things he needs. When I don't give in, he gets irritated, sad, and quiet. When I do give in because I want him to be happy, I feel as if I'm an object. \n\nTo those of you that broke off long term relationships: how did you figure it out?", "summary": "My boyfriend loves me, and I love him, but I'm not sure if our pros outweigh our cons. Is this the \"grass is not always greener on the other side\" argument? Or should I break it off?"} {"id": "t3_1djftx", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I [21M] have an absurd apprehension with new relationships.", "post": "I was involved in a lengthy relationship during my first year of college. Me [21M] and her [now21F] went to high school together, we went to prom, and began dating shortly thereafter. She broke it off with me, and I transferred to a university out of state. I'm now a senior at my university. Over the past year or so, I've begun to initiate relationships with various girls, no sex(my first girlfriend was my only sexual partner) but after a month or so of build up, I just get this intense feeling of wrongness. It's like, everything is going well and then all of the sudden, I just don't want what it is that is forming. I'm guessing it's all tied to that first relationship, but will it get better with time? Do I just need to take these budding relationships slower(aka REALLY slow) or what? Hopefully someone here can help me figure this out.", "summary": "After my first relationship, I now just can't form a new relationship, despite enjoying the company of new potential partners."} {"id": "t3_2tsmdh", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I really don't know how to handle a situation like this. Am I paranoid or is this actually weird?", "post": "I met this girl in one my playwriting courses a semester ago and then we shared another class during Jan term and really hit it off. I realize \"we really hit it off\" sounds cliche but I really mean it. We grabbed dinner after class one night and sat there talking for 5 hours. Another day we got drinks and sat around talking for 3 hours; and then on Friday we talked to a good 6 hours. I asked if she wanted to come to my apartment and talk some more, mostly because the places we were at started getting noisy. I ended up kissing her and it turned out that we had some mutual feelings for each other and just kept talking. Anyway, she ended up having to leave my apartment, but it was on really good terms and a lot of laughs. That was on Friday and I haven't heard from her. I already sent a couple nonsensical texts, but still nothing. Finally last night I got a little paranoid and just asked if everything was okay. She still hasn't responded to any of my texts and I don't want to send another one because I don't want to seem like I'm harassing her. Any advice? I'm probably crazy. Sorry if this whole thing seems sleazy or douchey, I'm really not the type that would just kiss a girl unless I felt like there was some kind of a connection.", "summary": "I had insanely long conversations with a girl from one of my classes. We ended up kissing and she left my place on good terms without the slightest hint of negativity. Now it feels like she's ignoring me."} {"id": "t3_1mti2g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [23F] keeps telling me about her infatuation with celebrities and I [22M] am uncomfortable with it.", "post": "My girlfriend of 2 years likes to go on and on about how much she likes certain k-pop stars. Usually, I'm okay with listening to it and I'll humor her, but it does get on my nerves at times. Sometimes, I feel like some of the things she says can be inconsiderate and hurtful, like I am lacking or not right for her (I would leave you for someone famous, I would sleep with him if he smiled at me like that, etc). \n\nSo I tried to rationally tell her that I was uncomfortable, but her rationale is that its a celebrity and as we are non-famous folk, it would never actually happen, therefore I should not be so sensitive. And then she turns it around and says that I don't have self confidence and that I should work on getting more confidence. \n\nSo, is it irrational of me to feel the way I'm feeling?", "summary": "Having trouble getting girlfriend to understand why I'm uncomfortable with her celebrity obsessions. Don't know if it's fair of me to be uncomfortable with it."} {"id": "t3_2rvxjk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[30F] goes silent after successful 3rd date; past trauma is clouding my[32M] judgment.", "post": "I [32M] had a very successful third date with [30F]. I went over specifically to spend the night; had amazing sex. She seemed to really like me and vice versa. In the morning she took my hand on the way to and from breakfast, and we napped after. Later that day she texted me \"you're pretty great,\" and I responded in kind.\n\nA couple days later I noticed the conversational tone and the frequency of her texts were decreasing. Odd, but nothing to worry about, as she has a lot going on. I secured a fourth date with her.\n\nThe night before the date, after I had gone to bed, she texted to say a house guest was arriving earlier than expected, and that we'd have to postpone until she got him settled. Reading this filled me with dread, like I might not hear from her again--I can't explain why. Note that it doesn't matter to me if the house guest is a love interest of hers.\n\nThis is day 4 of not hearing from her. I texted her yesterday to ask how things were going and got no response.\n\nI'm a very resilient person. In a few weeks this will be just a blip on the radar, but because of personal experiences (last girlfriend died; woman in question is not aware of this), this is pretty painful for me, and this pain is clouding my ability to think rationally, or put myself in her shoes, or see how not a big deal this is.\n\nPlease help me understand.", "summary": "The woman I've started seeing has stopped talking to me since a friend came to stay with her. It's probably going to be fine, but due to past trauma, I'm stuck and unable to process this."} {"id": "t3_2gdvbo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How does one make friends in a community college, working a job with all older coworkers? [20/f]", "post": "I go to a community college, where no one really talks because we don't live on campus i guess. In the past 1.5 years i have made a few acquaintances from talking in class but that's pretty much it. \n\nI also work a job that is so much fun, but most of my coworkers are significantly older than me. There are girls there that are around 27, but i'm sure they don't want to hang out with someone that just got out of their teens. We hang out and talk at work, but we don't hang out outside of that. \n\nI am just looking to make some real friendships, and am lost for a way to go about this! In high school it was totally different, but now i just feel confused. Everyone seems to want to avoid each other at community college, instead of make friends. Please help!", "summary": "my group of friends moved away to college this year, leaving me alone at my community college and at a job with mostly older girls. How can i make friends and approach people in a non creepy way?"} {"id": "t3_1jdiwg", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "[NSV] Registered for my first class for a degree in athletic training!", "post": "So last year I was a horribly depressed fat person trudging her way through a hospitality degree she didn't really like just to have a chance at a job someday. I really, really didn't like it. But hey, working at a hotel seemed like an alright job. I didn't really have any passion for anything.\n\nThen I decided to start getting fit. And you know what? I found a HUGE passion for it. I want to sing the wonders of fitness from the rooftops! I want to grab the people like I used to be by the hand and guide them through those first steps of just getting moving. I absolutely love exercise, I love getting online and learning about the newest science behind athletics, I love watching my body change and get stronger. I've never, ever felt a passion for anything like this in my life. \n\nI decided to just do it. My therapist is recommending only taking one class this semester anyway because of how depressed I got last year, so I decided now would be the perfect time. I'm going to take that introductory class and see if I like it. I might not, and I'm prepared for that, but I'm just so proud of the fact that I've become this strong, athletic person I never thought I could be. And I want to help other people discover that within themselves too.", "summary": "Former fatty who couldn't lift ten pounds or run for a minute straight is lifting 60 pounds, training for a marathon, and is going the academic route of helping other people do it too."} {"id": "t3_3zpx6x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30F] with my friend [33 M], feel like i'm unable to help, thinking of throwing in the towel. (social anxiety)", "post": "My friend has crippling social anxiety. He has no friends and his only contacts are his father and stepmother. The harsh truth is, he's not too attractive physically and mentally. Physically, he's like a 3 and mentally he's constantly having a victim complex, complains over everything and his conversations revolve around the negative things that have happened to him.\n\nHe's never had a relationship and hasn't had friends for about 10 years. Anyone he's interacted him has eventually spurned him after learning that he is clingy.\n\nI can understand that years of rejection have made him bitter, but the only way to improve his life is to let go of that.\n\nI feel like no matter what I say to him or how many plans I make for him to help him, he will insist on letting the negativity colour his world. \n\nThe only thing that stops me from not caring is the fact that he has helped me in the past. The only problem is, i'm feeling like my attempts to help him are futile and fruitless.\n\nA while ago I sent him a long email telling him how to fix his life - to work on confidence, how to be part of communities, how to improve himself to look and feel better. He didn't listen to any of it. He essentially said 'this is who I am and you don't understand me at all.'", "summary": "Isolated friend with crippling social anxiety is stubbornly negative, I am getting frustrated and wonder if he can even be helped."} {"id": "t3_4kvyoq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My best friend [31/M] flirts way too much with me [29/F] and I catch feelings over it (on/off)", "post": "Me and my best friend (of about ten years) have a lot in common (art, spiritual practice, crass sense of humour, shared dreams). We started planning to launch a business together (maybe more than one) and also have medium-term plans to create art together. All great. \n\nMy problem is that he's way too flirtatious in general and especially with me and my feelings keep getting stirred by it (as in everytime we flirt too much I'll start catching feelings for him and then start getting jealous of him, like he was my boyfriend). \n\nBear in mind I really do love this guy and I know he loves me, we have a great friendship that I value over almost any other relationship in my life. But a lot of our interaction involves banter and teasing and I believe I'll ruin our relationship if I ever ask him explicitly to lay off the moves.", "summary": "my best friend and future business partner/bandmate is a dirty flirt and I keep catching feelings for him. How do I cut this shit off?"} {"id": "t3_20lzks", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26M] with my ex-girlfriend [21F] are trying to be friends after breaking up. Just need a little 3erd party advice.", "post": "I had been friends with my ex-girlfriend for 2 years and dated for 6 months. She studied a broad, things got complicated but overall she made some wrong moves and we broke up.\n\nNow 4 months later, we were both over each other enough to see each other again. We went out this past weekend and had a blast. We shared some deep conversation and I felt like she had regrets about causing us to break up. We ended up having sex (which is pretty casual for us) and now I am just wondering what I should be watching out for in order to stay away from trouble. I definitely don't want anything too serious but wouldn't mind dating again. I still feel I have more to learn about myself through her and don't want to do anything too dramatic either way to make things more complicated. \n\nCan friends with benefits work when people actually love the other person as a person but know they aren't made for each other? Do you feel I am walking down a slippery slope?", "summary": "Ex-girlfriend and I, after 4 months to cool off, are hanging out again. Not sure if friends with benefits is a slippery slope?"} {"id": "t3_1ms35h", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Lost 50 pounds in three months", "post": "[Pics of Mr Sexy](\n\nMale humanoid, 5 foot 9 inches tall, starting weight: 270 pounds, current weight: 220 pounds, eyes: blue, personality: magnetic\n\nExercise: 15-30 minutes of half-assing (I have a prosthetic shoulder and I have to take it easy) P90X every day for days 1-60. Little to no exercise for days 61-90 (everyone else in my P90X group dropped out and I blew it off). 5 pound weights, no pull ups, some pushups but only against the coffee table not the ground.\n\nDiet: Chicken breast, turkey breast, slim fast shakes, veggies, salmon, tuna, protein powder, skim milk. 700-1200 calories a day for days 1-30. 700-1000 calories a day for days 31-60. 500-800 calories a day for days 61-90.\n\nNon-food ingestibles: 100 oz water, amphetamines, sports multivitamin, vitamin A, iron, calcium\n\nThings going for me: Naturally awesome, former athlete, more willpower than Batman\n\nThings against me: Prosthetic shoulder, two calcified vertebrae, three torn muscles, one tearing muscle which can't be fixed only worsened, affinity for cookies, baker wife, have to eat in restaurants four times a week, host a dinner party once a week, stay at home dad to a 2 yo son so I can only exercise at nap time and I have to taste all his food\n\nGoals: 220 was my goal weight and three months was my goal time, so mission complete on that. I'm not the same size that I was when I met my wife 10 years ago. Wow! 10 years erased in 3 months. My next goal is to reach 199, my weight when I left high school. My goal time for this was Halloween, but I don't think I'm going to make it. We'll see. The reason I'm doing this is that I don't want my son growing up thinking that that is how a man is supposed to look. I only got that way because of my severe, life changing injuries.", "summary": "5'9\" prosthetic shoulder 270-220 in three months with minimal exercise and extremely low calorie intake of lean proteins, veggies, and shakes"} {"id": "t3_3vb7cn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my Roommate [22 M] from this year, makes it unpleasant to be at our house", "post": "I have known him since my freshman year of college and we have been pretty good friends since then but it was not until moving in with him that I realized he is a total ass.\n\n He has no respect for my things, he ALWAYS expects something in return for anything that he does no matter how small it is and will ask. For example occasionally he will buy some sort of food or something for the whole house and then hold it over everyone's head until he receives something and on top of that he takes my food.\n\n I know he takes my food because I have caught him twice. I called him out both times and still notice things going missing. The other night I caught him taking some of my food, called him out and then kinda yelled at him, the result: I'm pissed and he does nothing. He literally does not care whatsoever. \n\nNot only this I constantly see him use my other roommates and they have noticed food go missing also. He is really just concerned with himself and does not give a shit about anyone around him.\n\n He constantly asks how he looks, goes on for hours about the most insignificant things in his day, never asks about anyone else, and on top of all that if you say anything negative to him he takes it super personally. His ego is more easily bruised then anyone I've ever met. \n\nAll this adds up to me really not liking being at our house. I stay at school for long hours and really it is mainly to avoid him. I need some advice on how to deal with someone like this and need to make it through the year because we already signed the lease until June. He does tons of other obnoxious things but I won't go too much into it. Please help!", "summary": "I have a narcissistic roommate who makes it hard to be in the house, I have to live the remainder of the school year with him, any advice?"} {"id": "t3_3p0z7y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my GF [17 F] 1 Month, My ex [ 22F] my ex texting me back after being no contact over 3 month", "post": "Hey guys i've been breakups with my gf over the past 3 month. Because she got another guy that she said will make her happy more than i do. I and my ex have been no contact since last 1 and a half month because i already found my new girlfriend. Starting from last week my ex contact me back saying that she just wanna be friends with me. I do ask her if i wanted to get back with her would she agreed but she said no. So i am just wondering why does she contact me back and should i leave my gf right now to get my ex back. She said that she is really lonely right now because her bf not giving a damn about her. So why does my ex text me and what do she want from me?....\n\nWhy do i leave my gf right now?. \nMe and my girlfriend have been planed to get engaged on next year . But she's a workaholic kind of girl. She is now 17 but in the morning she goes to school and at night she go to work part time at somewhere near her place. I told her that i can give her what she want but she refuse and she wanted to buy everything by herself. But then we rarely texting or call each other. maybe once a day but its only take a few minutes like 5 min and she will drop the call. We also had a fight every single day. Because i keep on disturbing her life. We are on a long distance relationship so i could'nt see her face to face. I dont even know what she's been up to. I dont know anything about her.\nShould i leave my gf to win my ex heart back?.", "summary": "Why does my ex contact me back? and should i leave my gf right now to win my ex heart back? i still love my ex so much."} {"id": "t3_zjlk2", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Hit my initial goal! My 1 year journey, (M/24/5\"10) 232-180 w/pics.", "post": "Here are the before and afters: \n\nI started at 232 lbs on December 10th 2011. I was looking at images of me and was disgusted with my self. I started using the iphone app Loseit and utalizing the /r/loseit community. After 9 months of hard work I have hit my initial goal of 180 lbs.\n\nAfter doing all this it has in turn made me more objective and after coming so far I now want to build muscle. I can't stand being soft and flabby especially after working this hard. I start my strength trainging September 10th. I'm hoping to bulk up and get toned. \n\nI hope I can be an inspiration to anyone that doesn't think it's doable. I know I didn't until I did it. \n\nWe are all capable of extraordinary things. We just need to push ourselves and do them!", "summary": "I lost 53 pounds in 9 months from hard work. Now I plan to weight train to get into super cut shape. All thanks to lose it!"} {"id": "t3_2mxyql", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my GF [20 F] of over 3 years, she cuddled with another guy", "post": "So my girlfriend of over 3 years told me she cuddled on the couch with her best male friend, and also said she has a crush on him. The day after they cuddled she cut off contact with him, and told him that should have never happened. \n\nThis guy and her had started snap chatting often and him and his friends hangout with her and her friends a lot, so they are in contact often. I told her a few weeks ago the snap chatting needs to be limited because there has to be boundaries with opposite sex friends. I told her she's treating him like she would treat a crush, but she denied she had feelings.\n\nThe worst part is that she didn't tell me for 5 days, and in between the time of it happening and her confessing we went to a party with the guy. I hung out with him through the night and my GF made a couple comments about how she's glad me and him are friends. \n\nThis is the first time something like this has happened. She says it never went farther than cuddling, which I'm choosing to believe. She says the reason she didn't tell me was because she knew it would be the end of us and she didn't want to lose me.\n\nOther than that she is afraid of staying with me because she feels she will regret missing out on being young since we've been together since we've both had any freedom from parents. And feels that's the reason she did this was because she wanted to experience someone else.\n\nIs there any way to make it work, I'm close to graduating and thought she was the one, or should I just cut it off now?", "summary": "GF of 3 years cuddles with guy on couch, regrets it, but has commitment issues. Should I try and make it work or move on?"} {"id": "t3_400ssc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me(18M) refused a gift from my brother(21m) and friends because I did not want them to waste money on me. I'm not sure if I did the right thing.", "post": "So I'm gonna do a skydive on Sunday and for 180 New Zealand dollars the will make a video of this experience. I said to my family that I don't want a video of this experience and that it's to expensive for me anyway. So my brother said no worries I will fix something for you. So again I said that I don't want this video and that he should not be wasting money on something that I don't want. 5 minutes later he donated 180 New Zealand dollars as a gift from him and 5 friends. At this moment I was quite upset because he did not care about what I said and 5 minutes later I gave him te money back with a explanation why I refuse to take it. And now my brother is pissed at me for not excepting his gift. Did I do the right thing by refusing their money so that it won't be wasted or am I overreacting and let them decide what to spend their money on?", "summary": "I refused a gift from my brother and friends because I don't want them to waste their money. Not sure if I made the right decision."} {"id": "t3_25z820", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M18] am in a tricky spot with my FWB/GF [F19]. I'm not sure how I can get out of this the least hurt.", "post": "Girl[19] I've[18] been involved with for about 4 months now got me in a tough spot.\n\nBasically : early this semester, she approached me for casual sex. She had just gotten out of a 4.5 year relationship with a guy she still wanted to be close friends with. The guy had plans of getting back together too, so it was obviously complicated. As for me, I'm leaving in the middle of summer to study abroad for a year. \n\nHere's what happened : FWB deal worked for about 2-3 weeks before we mutually admitted feelings for each other. (I wasn't expecting this though). We decided to exclusively see each other (including dates and other couple activities), but didn't give it a label. She, however, never told her ex about me, since he was still madly in love. She was stressed with having to keep us both happy. Obviously this wasn't ideal for me, but I was happy just being with her. \n\nFast forward to this last weekend and it finally caught up with her. Ex came by while we were together and heard us having sex. He is supremely hurt by it, and so is she. She doesn't want him gone completely, but she also thinks I've put up with enough. She says she's gonna need some time to herself, to sort herself out.\n\nAs for me, I'm torn on what I should do. As much as it makes sense to just leave her and be saved from the trouble, I also care deeply for her, and would like her to remain in my life (no matter what form that may be). She's been incredibly distant recently, and she's admitted it will be like that because of what happened. \n\nShould I just save myself the worry and hurt and cut ties? If not, then what should I do?", "summary": "Gf/fwb with priority issues is in a state of bad hurt. How can I get out of this with the least amount of hurt?"} {"id": "t3_4rzzre", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Am I wasting my time with her? Need advice", "post": "Let me explaine my situation (Sorry if I make mistakes, english isn't my first language). So I'm a 20yo male, been dating this girl for 3-4 months and it's my first relationship. I've known her for 3 years and she has been treated like shit by her 2 other boyfriends in the past, I should also mention that she is on heavy anti anxiety meds and has depression (this will seems like an important detail)\n\nAnyway hear is why i'm asking this - everything was just perfect until about 3 weeks ago, at first the contact was constant, we would text everyday and with time it became more rational and we'ed text a bit through the week before we saw each other. This all stopped after one date where she told me the L word for the first time - one week no contact, and when i texted she replied 1 week later. The thing is, we still saw each other on a date, and she was affectionate and all, but then BAM she goes cold on me by text again but a week and a half latter we see each other again and it's all normal in person again.\n\nI have confronted her about this, asked if everything was ok but she gave me very vague answers like \"I'm the kind of person who needs to think about there problems before asking for others people's oppinions\" and \"You can talk about anything with me\" (In my head I was like : wtf, you never answer your phone and text when the planets are aligned) \n\nI should also add that I left the country for a month and a half 4 days ago (maybe that has somthing to do with her distance? but shouldn't it be the opposit?)", "summary": "My girlfriend's words contradict her actions, this could be her messed up head (or just mine) or somthing else, some advice would be lovely"} {"id": "t3_gf06i", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Pappy's 60th- Help me Reddit, you're my only hope.", "post": "Well you're not, but your help would be appreciated nonetheless.\n\nMy dad's turning 60 at the start of the Easter holidays. \n\nHe's had a rough couple of years (has only one fully functioning kidney, lost both parents- yes they were in their late 80s, but I'm guessing it doesn't get easier with age- a major heart attack and one of his brothers died recently during surgery). \n\nI know it's expected, given that I'm the fruit of his loins, but he really is my hero. He came from a rural background (and I mean FUCKING rural- no electricity in the middle of a forest in India where the majority of his siblings still are) and with no support (there was nothing his family could give- 8 kids and that) managed to become a doctor, relocate to the UK and build a life for his family. All by himself.\n\nAnyway, my mum and I were discussing what to do for his birthday seeing as it's a pretty big milestone, and he could do with cheering up since losing his brother, so we were thinking about taking him abroad for a couple of days.\n\nThe thing is, I can't think of where to look into.\n\nSo far, my ideas have been:\nBarcelona\nBlue Lagoon\n\n..and that's it.\n\nDespite being in the UK for almost 30 years, my folks only recently acquired their UK passports and so far we've checked out Paris and Rome, so other Europe-based locations would be good.\n\nHe likes 'things of interest' so just sitting on a beach probably isn't his idea of a huge amount of fun, and he's still recovering from a serious bout of gout so lots of walking's out as well.\n\nSo Reddit- any ideas? Thanks in advance.", "summary": "My pa's turning 60 after a shit couple of years. Need short break ideas to cheer him up and show him how much we love him."} {"id": "t3_djnmk", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I don't need your money, I just need your help to meet the most brilliant minds in the world.", "post": "I'm going to keep it simple.\n\nMy name is Pablo and I live in M\u00e1laga (Spain).\n\nOn October 21st, 22nd, 23rd 2010 there is going to be this congress of brilliant minds in my city. [english link here](\n\nThe tickets are 1250\u20ac / person (almost 1700$) and I don't have the money to buy it, but I really want to go, I think it's a good chance to get some good ideas from these people (Scientist, thinkers, Nobel price winners...).\n\n**BUT**\nthere is a contest where you write an idea to change the world (for better, of course), and the 21 most voted ideas gets 2 tickets.\n\nSo, a female friend of mine wrote an idea and, if her idea gets to the top, she will give me the second ticket and we will go together.\n\nCould you, please, [register here] no spam, and vote [her idea??](\n\n**THANK YOU VERY MUCH!", "summary": "Want to go to a congress of brilliant minds with a female friend, please vote [her idea] so we can go for free.(we have no money)"} {"id": "t3_2othfz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (19M) have a friend (19/20ish F) who asked me over for dinner. Both single (she recently), is it just dinner or could this lead to more?", "post": "Hi reddit, I have the following situation, and I don't want to be rude or sound like an asshole by asking her, so I'm asking you for advice.\n\nI am a 19 yo dude, still living with my parents, and broke up the last time rougly one and a half year ago (which was also the last time I had any physical contact with girls, not counting my mother).\nFriend of mine, 19 or 20ish girl, broke up recently/is still breaking up/she's not sure either, living on her own.\nI am in my 2nd year of university, she is in her 1st year of college (different studies).\n\nSo there is this girl, a friend of mine who is also a colleague (only in the summer) of mine, and we both study in the same city (however I still live at home, 2hr drive; she lives on her own).\n\nLately (3 months back) she broke up with her then-bf, and she and I started talking from time to time, then she got anther bf, and apparently they haven't been talking for the past 5 weeks so they probably broke up as well...\n\nNow I've gone through a nasty breakup too, so I said if there's anything I could do then she should just ask, asked how she was doing, if she still managed to get through the days allright. Then she asked if I could come over for dinner somewhere next week, and I said yes of course.\n\nNow, I'm a 19yo dude, she's a 19/20 ish girl, both single, and both (at least) straight... You understand where I'm going: is it going to be just dinner and chatting, or do you think there's a reasonable possibility of me spending the night in whatever way over at her place (and should I pack a clean pair of underwear and maybe condoms just in case) ?", "summary": "19M and friend 19/20F, she invited me over for dinner. Both single, both straight: is this just going to be dinner and chatting, or could this lead to more?"} {"id": "t3_35fike", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by attempting to front flip off a yoga ball", "post": "This happened a few days ago but the FU will linger for weeks. I was bored after a very long workday and had a brief lapse in judgement. Something in me decided it would be a good bit of fun to jump up onto the yoga ball in my living room and flip forward onto the couch. What could go wrong?\n\nI get a running start and launch myself up onto the ball. My right leg lands perfectly on the top portion and balances. Unfortunately my left leg was a bit late to the party and the impact shot the yoga ball out from under me. I fly in the air and land on my back, head, and left wrist. I can feel my wrist hurting but most of my focus is on my ringing head. I try to stand and end up lying on the couch until I regain my equilibrium. After a few minutes my head feels fine, but my wrist continues to throb. I throw some ice on it and move my fingers around but there doesn't seem to be any real damage done. When the pain doesn't subside in a few hours I conclude I must have sprained it and resolve to go to the doctor. \n\nNext day I get an xray done and find out I have fractured my radius. I am getting fitted for a cast soon and will most likely be out of work for at least a month. Worst part of it? I'm a lefty.", "summary": "Tried to do a flip off a yoga ball, fractured my radius, can't work or use my dominant hand for at least a month maybe longer. Don't try this at home kids."} {"id": "t3_15vs5g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My best friend [22/f] cheats his new boyfriend [21/m] with me [21/m], but i love her.", "post": "I known her for 6 years, we never dated, we are really best friends. We meet like 5 times a month to stay together and we travelled also a lot just the two of us. But in the last 2 years all time that we meet we also have sex (at first was her idea).\n\nShe never had a boyfriend since last year so basically i was happy with the situation and so she was, i also proposed a lot of time in this years, but she answered every time with just sex for now, i don't want to break our friendship with a relation. Last year she meet a boy and started dating him, he was an idiot so she left him and we started having sex again. Now again she found a boyfriend, but she want to continue to have sex with me, also she never had with him in 3-4 months of dating.\n\nWe stayed at his boyfriend's home for the new year's eve and when we come back to my place we slept together. Basically we talked all night at bed, she told me that she want to leave his boyfriend to find another one, that if i was with her now, she would left me in 2 weeks, because she want to have sex with other people instead of me. For her we should be free to stay with other people and also continue our secret relationship, and maybe when we are tired of that (she talked about 5 years), try to stay together.\n\nI really don't know what to do, i love this girl, i suppose. What i should do, find another girl, cheat her with my friend and wait? really i don't know. i can't stay with a girl and have sex with another one, i'm not into that. Should I stop having sex with her? Or continue to convince her that we should stay together now? thanks...", "summary": "My friend doesn't want to date me but just having sex until we are older, because she wants to date other people. I love her."} {"id": "t3_49y4si", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Is it a bad idea to move straight out of your parents and in with your SO?", "post": "My boyfriend (21) and I (22) have been together several years, but I go to school in Toronto and he lives in our hometown an hour and a half away. Now he's graduating and has some great job prospects out here, and we've been talking all year about moving in together - but his parents are unsure. They think he should live alone or have roommates first. The problem is, rent is expensive here, and living with me we will each save between $50-$250 a month, without being stuck in a lease. Plus, we can adjust the rent between the two of us at any point while he gets his career started since I'd already be saving so much. He's also nervous about new roommates because he's a real quiet guy who likes things clean and gets along better with females than males. With me he'd be living with two very clean female roommates he already knows well. Most of all, after having to commute to each other weekly for 8 months of the year, we'd like to be able to share more of our lives together, and we feel we're ready as a couple. But I see their point that it's an experience he may not get again. We do plan to have our whole lives together, but then again, we'll probably just end up staying at each other's places all the time anyway, and pay double the rent for it. It's his big life change, so I've left it up to him now. He says he wants to move in here, but I'm just being the paranoid girlfriend who worries if his parents have a point. Thoughts?", "summary": "Boyfriend's parents think he should experience living alone, but we want to live together after two years of long commutes, and it would be cheaper."} {"id": "t3_1ioom0", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Job ProTip: keep a written log of your accomplishments at the end of the day/week", "post": "Write down your accomplishments at your job on a regular basis. Do it at the end of the day or end of the week. Put as much detail as possible. It will advance your career.\n\n**Example**: you are a cashier at a local gas station. write down how many customers you handled (estimate), how much cash you handled, how much inventory you did, etc. write down anything uneventful.\n\n**Example 2**: you are a sysadmin at a business. write down the progress of all your projects. keep track of hours you worked or had to be on call. were there any fires you had to put out? what did you learn this week? write it all down. Try to put things in terms of money generated or saved.\n\nTwo reasons why this will advance your career:\n\n1. When it's time for your job review, you will have specific facts to back up claims that you are a good employee deserving of a raise or promotion. You can say things like \"I generated $1000 in revenue this month.\" Or \"I put in 100 extra hours last month to make sure we hit a deadline.\" If you hadn't written it down, you would have forgotten all the details and wouldn't back up your claim that you deserve a raise or promotion.\n\n2. You're resume becomes a breeze to write. Now you have a lot of examples that demonstrates why you are an excellent employee.", "summary": "Write down your accomplishments so you can later explain to your boss why you deserve a raise or later explain to a new employer why you deserve to be hired."} {"id": "t3_3kg7h9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17/m] I broke up with my gf [16/f] and I regret it", "post": "I'm going to try to keep it brief but we were together for about 4 months. I broke up with her about a month ago because I was under a lot of stress with school, work, and the relationship and I just needed a break to get all of my shit together. I initially wanted to just stay friends and talk and in the future when I felt more established and content we could try again. The issue is I really hurt her and she distanced herself from me because she believes she couldn't trust me again and she didn't want to give me a second chance. I still really love her and I want to try to work things out but I don't know what to do. I've apologized and I've explained my reasoning behind the break up. I understand I hurt her and I've been giving her the space she needs. Its been about a month since we've spoken and before I stopped talking to her she would constantly get angry at me whenever I attempted to talk to her or text her. I feel really bad, I never wanted to hurt her. I wish I could tell her how sorry I am and explain that it would be different this time.", "summary": "broke up with my girlfriend to get my shit together, she was really hurt and she doesn't trust me anymore. i want to make things right"} {"id": "t3_3z2xlr", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Domestic violence, what if i retaliate?", "post": "I'm 22 years old right now, and my step dad came into our lives when I was 12. For the last 10 years, he's been an alcoholic and almost every weekend he gets drunk and threatens me or a member of my family. For the longest time, my mother had us kids convinced that this was normal. That other families deal with the same bullshit. Anyways, I found out recently that my step dad has hit my mom on several occasions, cheated on her, and the other night he went too far. I'm on vacation and when I first got here, my mother called me because my step dad was threatening her because he had this crazy idea that she's seeing another man. (Not even a small chance that this is possible) To make matters worse, he lied to her and told her that I told him she had a boyfriend. Now my mom is absolutely being manipulated by my step-dad, but there's nothing I can do because she refuses to get help. When I get back to California, I'm going to try to orchestrate a fight. He's almost always drunk, and he's pushed me/threatened me countless times. What happens if I retaliate, and completely lay him out in his own home?", "summary": "My step dad is an abusive alcoholic. If I'm in his house, he's drunk, and he pushes/lays a hand on me first, can I legally retaliate and kick his fucking ass without going to jail?"} {"id": "t3_54yaui", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by thinking my dad was dying.", "post": "This actually happened two years ago during my summer holiday.\n\nNot sure if this fits in TIFU, as it really wasn't my fu, but I think it's a good story nonetheless.\n\nI had gotten a new job driving around grocery stores placing and sorting liquors and various drinks on the shelves. One day, I had just finished up in the first store when I got a phone message from my dad. To my surprise, the message basically said that he had been run over by a car and stabbed with a knife, and that he was now in a hospital.\n\nAt this point, I think that a psychopath has decided to kill my dad for some reason, and that he's either dying or gravely injured. I immediately call my mom, to hear if she knows anything. She hasn't gotten this message herself, and starts freaking out. She in turn calls my brother, who at the moment was working selling newspapers over the phone. He gets quite hysterical after what I heard, and basically stands up and panics. All his coworkers try to calm him down, but he is obviously super stressed because our dad has apparently been in a random freak assault incident. So now all of us think that my dad is dying, and I'm in tears.\n\nBut then my mom manages to get in touch with my dad. As it turns out, he is completely fine, and is clueless to the ongoing events. We are all relieved, and are left confused and happy.\n\nHe insisted that he hadn't written the message, and that the phone was in his pocket the entire time. I showed him them the message, as I thought it was curious that somehow the words \"stabbed with knife\", \"run over by car\" and \"hospital\" had been typed in the same message, but I got no answer.\n\nI still to this day have no idea why I got that message. I don't believe it was a joke, because that would be a pretty fucked up thing to do. Maybe autocorrect worked its magic.\n\nThe message is in Norwegian, but I'm sure there are other Norwegians here who can verify what is written.\nLink to message sent: [image](", "summary": "Dad sends me message that he's been stabbed and run over by car. Family panics. Turns out he's just fine."} {"id": "t3_3xrm1d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girl [24F] gave me [22M] email address. Emailed her back, but no response for a few days", "post": "I'm 22 and working at a hospital. I got signed up for a 5 day study testing kinesthetics. The person conducting the study was a girl (maybe 24?) who was part of that lab. She's from England and studied at a prestigious university. I spoke to her from day 1 to day 5 of the study during breaks and such. \n\nWe grabbed breakfast together on day 3 and sat and spoke for a good 20 minutes. I asked her out on day 5 (Friday morning) and she gave me her email address. She explained that she would add me on whatsapp and we could work out the details, and also told me to email her my number. \n\nI emailed her with a simple \"hey it's Alex. My number is ....\" that Friday evening. She did mention that she would be out of town with friends on Sat and Sun. She still hasn't responded (Monday evening). Maybe I'm being expecting a quick response or maybe she's just busy. I'm not sure. Is this a dead end or should I wait a few more days and email her again with a more direct \"are you still interested in going out etc\"? Thank you.", "summary": "English girl gives American guy email address after asking her out, guy emails her but no response for 3 days. Wait longer or just a waste of time?"} {"id": "t3_3pf5h3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why does my [27 M] boyfriend want to come with me [25 F] to my Job?", "post": "Whenever he is available and not working or going to school, he likes to come with me to work. Now this makes me uncomfortable because it would be all gravy if he came and went and did his own thing but that's not what happens. He comes, sits in the office and wants to grab my butt or kiss me (cool but what if we get caught? There are always people in and out of the office. I'm a lil uptight like that).\n\nIf I don't pay him any mind and DO MY WORK, he gets upset that I am ignoring him then he storms out of the office. Like clock work. I honestly wouldn't mind it if he didn't need constant attention, which he does.\n\nI know it hurts him when he asks if he can come with me and I come up with some vague excuse as to why he can't, but how do I tell him without hurting him that I'd like to keep my work and relationship separate (I have already tried those exact words) but it always turns into a big argument... Oh he likes to argue alot!!!! sighs", "summary": "my boyfriend likes to come with me to work but it makes me uncomfortable and in turn we fight since I can't hide it. How can I ask him to stop without hurting his feelings?"} {"id": "t3_3yxurt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21F] roommates [both 22F] are making my life a living hell.", "post": "Hello! I mostly just really need to vent, but advice is welcome and appreciated.\nOkay, so, the girls I currently live with were my best friends for years. This is my third year living with them. The first two years were fine. Slowly things have begun to turn into a nightmare. They talk about plans in front of me, they ignore me, they blame me for things I didn't do. One day, one of the roommates, let's call her Sarah, trash talked me for like 20 minutes because she didn't realize I was home and could hear everything she said. That crushed me. This girl was my best friend since grade school. \n\nI'm SO uncomfortable living with these people, but the lease ends in August and the rent is so cheap, especially for the area that I live in, that I don't want to move out. They are already spreading rumours that I am planning on moving out without finding a replacement and that I'm fucking them over. (?) I've never mentioned wanting to move out in front of them, so I have no idea where this is coming from.\n\nA few weeks ago, I asked them why they have started treating me this way, and they told me it's because I've \"changed\" and \"they can't trust me\", but didn't have any specific examples and I'm left having no idea what I did wrong. Sarah seems to be the ring leader while my other roommate, Claire, is more like the sidekick/follower. But that entire group of friends has stopped talking to me completely.\n\nSo, Reddit, what the hell do I do?", "summary": "My roommates decided that I am an enemy and I hate being home, but the rent is so cheap that I don't want to move."} {"id": "t3_1p4gda", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19F] with my SO [24M] of ~2 months, Apprehensive about meeting parents", "post": "We've been together a couple of months and everything is going swimmingly, I'm wrapped in him and couldn't be happier. \n\nSo, the other day he brought up having dinner with his family and it made me really nervous and I don't know why. The thought just makes me feel apprehensive. I don't think I'm worried about giving a bad impression, and it doesn't feel like things are moving too fast or anything, but I do feel daunted.\n\nI do get nervous meeting new people, but it's worth noting that I've met both his parents briefly in passing, so they're not complete strangers to me.\n\nHe knows exactly where I'm at and that I feel like this, and so we're holding off for now...I just wouldn't mind some other perspectives/advice/thoughts as I do actually want to meet them properly. Even some suggestions on how to make it easier or something.", "summary": "I want to meet my SO's parents but feel irrationally apprehensive about it. Looking for some advice/suggestions to make it easier."} {"id": "t3_2vke1q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [20/f] nervous to open up to the guy [21/m] I've been dating about my sexual assault", "post": "I was sexually assaulted twice, and it's kind of fucked up me big time. The last time was just recently, about a month ago. \n\nI want to tell the guy I've been seeing about it, (we've been together for a little less than a month) because sometimes I get really down really randomly about it, and some nights I just cry, and I want him to know and maybe be there for me.\n\nThe only problem is I haven't told many people about it, and I don't know how, and I definitely don't want the pity and awkwardness that comes with telling people.\n\nHow do I even begin to approach this with him?", "summary": "I'm ready to tell the boy I've been seeing about my assaults, but I'm conflicted about how to bring it up"} {"id": "t3_3qdgfl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24f] still heart broken over butthead ex-boyfriend [29m]", "post": "I realize that this is a question that is probably asked a million times, but it's something I'm struggling with - \n\nFor a couple years, I've been in an on and off relationship with a guy who hasn't met my needs, hasn't made me happy and spends most of his free nights getting drunk, alone. There is no rational reason that I should still be pining after him -- but here I am. He's manipulating, awkward, mean... I honestly can't think of very many reasons to be heart broken, but I am. I'm not in love with him and I don't want to be with him, but I do miss him and it hurts that he's dating other people.", "summary": "I'm a dummy who's heart broken over someone who doesn't want me/I don't even love. How do I move on?"} {"id": "t3_2dthib", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my fianc\u00e9 [ 30 M ] together 4 years, fianc\u00e9 ogles trashy girls on Instagram regularly", "post": "I have been with my fianc\u00e9 for four years, I have always known his previous/usual tastes were slutty, trashy looking girls and I thought being a girl from a good family with a degree I had broken the mold. One of his exes was on the reality show \"For the Love of Ray J\" to give you an example. \n\nTo cut to the chase, lately I have been walking by and happened to see him on Instagram looking at pictures of trashy girls, some of them it's not even pictures of their faces in it just straight up ass shots. Gross. This happened multiple times over the past month. When he saw that I caught him, he scrolled up fast to make it look like he was reading text, so he's obviously hiding it. I have an IG, but I don't even follow any guys let alone guys who post sexy shirtless pictures. \n\nMy issue is this... I am one of those girls that is fine with pornography, I actually watch it myself. But some of these trashy girls he follows are his exgirlfriends and girls he has slept with too. Some are also known prostitutes. It just feels different. But telling him or asking to stop doing it seems strange and I'm not even sure if he would, kinda like kids and porn he's just going to look behind my back.", "summary": "Fianc\u00e9 chronically likes sluts, follows them on IG and ogles. I'm uncomfortable, but don't want to infringe on basic sexual rights. What do I do? Nothing?"} {"id": "t3_1gjuvc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19f] need some advice on what to do with my ex [24m] (x-post from r/Longdistance)", "post": "Reposting here since I would like as much advice as I can get. \n\nPrepare yourselves, this is going to be a bit long. \n\nA bit of backstory:\nBack in December my now ex SO started our relationship - he lived in Ireland and I was in the UK. He then moved to Germany in January for a few months and we still continued to happily be together while he tried to start a career. We kept visiting one another when we could and things were great. He then had a job opportunity in Korea come up and we decided to end things mutually on my last visit due to the increase of distance - we lasted a good 4-5 months being long distance. Since then, we have seen each other a few times (we have a good many mutual friends and met each other in quite a tight-knit community) and I still have very strong feelings for him and we still are trying to be friends even though its difficult controlling our feelings for one another (I know this because the last time we saw each other we slept together again).\n\nNow he's currently back in Ireland and I'm going over there soon for work reasons and have an opportunity to see him again very briefly. We've both been single now for 2 months and it has been hell for me. I want to ask him to give our relationship another shot and tell him how I really feel. I really think that we can work as a relationship again even though the distance between us is going to increase when he moves to Korea in a couple of months. \n\nDo you guys think this is a good idea?", "summary": "my ex long distance SO is moving further away, I want to give our relationship another chance. Not really too sure what I should do. Help..."} {"id": "t3_2pmrgy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "NOT quite sure if me (29 F) and my boyfriend (24 M) have a future together. Anyone in a relationship Older woman / Younger man/ who can share their stories and advices?", "post": "We have been together for almost 3 years now, and everything has been as perfect as it can be. We are perfect for each other and share a deep love.\n\nBut recently I've been worrying about the future. I've already lived abroad, studied a masters and lived by myself, but he hasnt'd done that yet, and I don't want him to lose the opportunity to do so.\n\nWhenever I tell him that, he says that he doesn't matter for those things, and that cannot wait for us living together. I also worry that by when he wants to have babies I will no longer be able to do so.\n\nIt helps me a lot to read success stories about older women with a younger boyfriend or husband, gives me hope for the future", "summary": "NOT quite sure if me (29 F) and my boyfriend (24 M) have a future together because of age difference."} {"id": "t3_3ora7s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M]wants to talk to a girl [18 F] that i get to meet everyday at the bus stop, i always make myself look busy, if i were to one day talk to her would she look at me like im a crazyboy?", "post": "basically ive been meeting her or with her friends at the bus stop, i swear everyday i tell myself TOMORROW! YOU CAN DO IT!!\nNext day in the morning and i ignore her but not by my will, its just im shy, but its really awkward for me, if a girl tells you hi and she starts 1 sentence or small conversations how do i keep up?\nshe goes in same school, same class (would that be a bad idea if shes in same class?) \nit's also something to note that im not the same ethnicity and my peoples have a very bad reputation, to describe my looks id say i have thick hair, my hairstyle is like ralph fiennes in schindler's list. My eyes seem \"worn out\" (a bit baggy, looks like im tired 24/7 or high but im not)\nI am 187 cm and medium weight, my breast are huge becuase i bench press a lot so are my arms but im not a big guy at all.\n\nnow my question is to all the ladies in the place with style and grace, if i were a guy that talks very little, of another race, and you know nothing about me other than I score good on tests, I have ignored you/seemed busy with my phone when I knew you were looking at me trying to chat, You have tried walking with me but an sms had me to stop and reply to it, making it as if I told you \"dont walk with me\" \nWhat would you do if I suddenly started being open and talking to you? im pretty sure I fucked this up.", "summary": "Im a sucka for love, I can't act around girls at all, I have ruined my chances for myself now."} {"id": "t3_130x3t", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm up for a promotion. I will go from an hourly position to a salaried position. I need help negotiating my salary.", "post": "I work as a waitress at a restaurant company. It's not corporate but the company does own several restaurants and is very successful on a local level. I have about 10 years experience in the service industry and have been working for about a year and a half with this company. Since I started working I have moved up the ranks quickly and now am a shift leader, head of training and have been captain of some banquet events where the CEO had addressed the whole company about my performance. My boss has told me they are considering promoting me to an assistant manager position. He told me what a typical high-low salary looks like for my position in the company and told me to ask for something in the middle. I make pretty good money serving tables and I want this promotion to be an increase in my pay. In my city, the average salary for an AM is 39k. I want 40k. I make about 38k+ as a tipped employee. What are some good ways to keep from going too low in negotiating my salary? Where do I even start? I've never had to do this before.", "summary": "I'm getting a promotion at work. How do I keep from getting low-balled when negotiating my pay?"} {"id": "t3_312jbu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20/M] need to break up with my girlfriend [22/F] of six months. I'm scared.", "post": "We met through work, and I started sleeping over in her apartment within weeks, and somehow I found myself moved in within three months, mostly because of convenience. I always kept telling myself it wasn't long term, but I never manned up and ended things before they got out of control.\n\n**I feel like a monster.**\n\nI have feelings for this girl and we really get along. She's so sweet, very innocent and sometimes very lonely. We work together, though I plan to leave this job when we break up (I have two).\n\nWe occasionally have fights, mostly her getting jealous of other women in my life, or crying because I don't show her much affection. Our sex life is abysmal and we are not at all compatible, though she tells me she thinks it's \"the best.\"\n\nI get a lot of love from her, and the relationship has it's positives, but I feel like I'm stringing her along and using her. All the while I feel frustrated at the lack of time for my own hobbies, to run my business or pursue other people. That last part makes me feel monstrous.\n\nShe wants me to travel five hours out of town to visit her family and go on holidays with her in the next two weeks. I know doing it before then is the right thing to do.\n\nI'm so scared. I know I'm going to break her heart, and I feel so guilty.", "summary": "I want to break up with my girlfriend, but feel dazed, confused and scared. We live together to boot."} {"id": "t3_3e3xhq", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Am I [23m] slut shaming my coworker [26f] for telling her that you have to expect consequences for sleeping with multiple partners around the office?", "post": "I have been accused of slut shaming one of my coworkers when she came to me for advice about her current situation where it was revealed that she is sleeping with multiple partners around the office (it's a fairly large office and there are at least 3 partners within a 3 month period). She was complaining to me that she feels frustrated that guys can do it without judgment while people seem to have a problem with her actions for doing it. The core of the issue is that she feels that once everyone found out, it fractured office friendships and made it awkward for us to go out in groups because of the different sexual tension. I'm not sure of specifics in terms of the nature of the relationships, but she has asserted that she is completely upfront about expectations and the casual nature of the sex. Even so, it's definitely clear that the office has retreated into cliques as a result of these relationships. Now I got put into the middle of it when she talked to me about everything and I said (paraphrasing) \"Just because you have complete freedom in choosing your sexual partners doesn't mean that sex comes without consequences.\"\nAm I slut shaming her as she has said to me? I feel like \"don't shit where you eat\" is an oft-told expression for a reason and while she has the complete freedom to fulfill herself sexually with whichever consenting adult she wants, I think it's a little naive and immature to expect that you can do so without fear of social consequences. Am I slut shaming her by telling her this?", "summary": "Coworker is sleeping with multiple coworkers messing with the office's social dynamic. I told her she has the freedom to sleep with whoever she wants, but sex brings consequences. Am I slut shaming her as she has accused me of?"} {"id": "t3_3yjqvp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29F] with my bf[28 M] 4 years, use of pornography and sex life", "post": "Obvious disclaimer throwaway.\n\nMy bf and I have been together for 4 years. Our sex life is sort of lost its spark, (we have sex once a week, sometimes every two weeks and this last week, he withed sex because he was upset and wanted to \"punish\" me, because he was mad, which was really controlling and not ok). \n\n This aside, there have been some issues that have arisen with pornography. I discovered that he was looking at camgirls and paying them. They were not private chats or private shows, but I asked him to stop, just because it crossed a boundary, vaguely cheating to be interacting with live girls. So, he stopped paying for live cam shows.\n\nHowever, I just discovered that he paid and downloaded a 3 videos of a camgirl (not a \"live\" show, just bootlegged/recorded versions of the live show, so he wasn't paying her to take off the clothes). BUT-- it was the same cam girl he was looking at, and paying for,in the past. A girl that I look nothing like, different race, different body type, 10 years younger than me...which makes me feel insecure. I am fine with masturbation and sexual expression, but not when it seems to be getting in the way of our own intimacy. \n\nThe real problem is, he masturbates more than we have sex. I consider myself to be an attractive, educated, well rounded, funny, pretty, and sexual person. This is starting to make me feel undesirable, insecure and sexually powerless. I've never had these feelings before. For some reason, he'd rather tug his own than be intimate with me. Now, I don't really feel comfortable. He's witheld sex, and then is masterbating to girls that look nothing like me. \n\n I've discussed this with him, but he gets really defensive and insists that there is nothing wrong and tells me to \"relax.\" I don't know what to do. I don't want to break up with him over this issue, but it's hurting me. Advice?", "summary": "bf isn't as sexual as he used to be, masturbates more than we are intimate, and it is effecting our relationship and my comfort level."} {"id": "t3_18rsxp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me(20/M) and her(19/F) How does she feel and what should I do?", "post": "So this girl and I hadn't talked for a month because she was mad at me. \nShe kinda established already that she doesn't seem interested in dating me. \n\nLast night our friends called us over to hangout with them not knowing each other(Her and I) would be there. We hung out and our mutual guy friend tells me to take her home and that we should talk.\n\nWhen we go outside I ask her what it is that we need to talk about. She says that our friend says I was mad at her. I told her that I wasn't mad at her, and that she knows me, if I was mad at her she would know it.\nShe then says that honestly she misses me a lot and that she feels like I been neglecting her.\n\nI told her that due to the semester starting I have a lot of friends that I want to hangout and she acknowledge this as true. Because she sees me with someone all the time in campus. The other thing I told her is that I have been meeting girls because she had established she doesn't want to date me. She stayed quiet.\n\nWe get to our friends house and as we are walking I tell her that I am sorry she feels so neglected by me. I also told her that I hadn't changed(I don't think so) and that I have never texted her first. We hadn't talked in a month because she hadn't talked to me.\nShe acknowledge she was mad at me for taking a class with her but sitting with two different girls, I told her the reason for that was that I can't stand her best friend, she is a fucking sour grape, and honestly I don't feel like taking that sourness. She stayed quiet. \n\nWe got to our friends house and watched a movie. The ride back stayed quiet, she sang quietly to some of the songs on the radio. We got to her house and she said good bye.\n\nI have oneitis for this girl, I been trying to get over it. I haven't gone out of my way to ignore her either, like how she says she feels I have. I really value this relationship and I'm not sure how to mend this.", "summary": "This girl hasn't talked to me for a month. I have done very small conversations but she says I been mad at her. Then last night happened and I am confused."} {"id": "t3_mwvsd", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I know she WAS into me, but is she still?", "post": "Okay, so I'm a 16 year old guy, not had many girlfriends in the past.\nShe's a 16 year old girl and also my best female friend.\n\nWhen we first met, she was in a relationship and I wasn't. I then got into a relationship just as she got out of her's, then I broke up with my girlfriend and she got with a new guy etc.\n\nThis has gone on for about a year and a half now, but now we're both single, and since I split up with my previous girlfriend (and a little bit before that actually) , I've really fallen for her. The problem is, since we're such close friends, I'm worried that I'm in the friend zone, and there's a fair bit of evidence to support that theory. However, a couple of my friends told me that she used to be really into me, and after looking back over our conversations and facebook messages and such from a while ago, I think they were right.\nSo here's my question: Is it likely that she would still be interested in me, if I was to ask her out, or would she reject me and our friendship ruined?", "summary": "She used to like me, but now we're close friends and I like her. What are the chances that she still likes me?"} {"id": "t3_hhmgo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My negativity is affecting my relationship. How can I become a more positive person?", "post": "I tend speak very negatively, mainly, I complain a lot. A lot. I have always known I wasn't a particularly optimistic person, but lately I have been made aware of how much I complain and see the negative -- I am appalled at myself.\n\nThe worst part is how it is hurting my boyfriend. He is an optimist and my negativity is really starting to affect our relationship. I can be perfectly happy and having fun while complaining, but he (totally understandably) feels like I hate my life and everything about it. This, in turn, makes him feel like a bad boyfriend because I am so unhappy.\n\nI want to be a positive, upbeat person that others like to be around. I don't need to change my life, I love my life. I need to change how I see it, how I relate to it, and how I communicate that. I don't just want to not complain, I want to be more positive. Help?", "summary": "I always see the negative and complain a lot -- but I do like my life. How can I become more positive and see things in a good light?"} {"id": "t3_zcbmp", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I[21m] have a date with a girl[18] in a few days, and i fear i am going to mess it up.", "post": "So just to give a quick background. Im a 21 year old un-kissed virgin (IE the average stereotypical redditor).\n\nI have been on a few dates with a couple of girls the last few months, whom i have met trough online dating. But none of them worked out and didn't go anywhere. Because i ether was to afraid to really do anything, or i panicked over the fact that i wasn't doing and just made it worse.\n\nWell, now i have another date with a girl who is without a doubt the most compatible girl i have come into contact with so far.\nSo far we have only communicated online, and this is our first time meting face to face.\n\nThe problem is that i really just don't know how to flirt. I have no problem making friends with a girl, and i have more female friends than male ones.\n\nAnd as i don't know how to flirt i fall back on treating my date like just a friend, even tough i am very attracted to her.\n\nI clearly have some boundaries that i need to break, but i just don't know how to do so without panicking.\n\nI am meeting her about 6 in the evening next Saturday, after she is done working. My plane is to take her to a restaurant if she is hungry or cafe if she is not. And go for a walk after that if she is up for it.\n\nI really don't want to mess this up like i have done in the past, so any suggestions or pointers are most welcome.\nHow can i show her that i am attracted to and build intimacy without crossing a line and making her uncomfortable?", "summary": "I have a date with a great girl in a few days, but i am terrified to mess it up like i have in the past."} {"id": "t3_4ylrfq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (19M) just found out that my dad is not my biological father, and I don't really know what to do.", "post": "Hi /r/relationships...\n\nI went with my mother to get my driving permit today. I passed, and when they gave me my temporary permit there was a middle name that I didn't recognize. As far as I knew. I had never had a middle name, so this seriously confused me. I asked my mom about it, and suddenly she burst into tears and told me that she was pregnant with me when she met my father, and that he agreed to raise me as his own. I didn't know how to feel, but there wasn't any sense if anger, betrayal, or anything. \n\nNow my parents are divorced, but they still maintain a decent and functional relationship. Am I right in just pretending that this while thing never happened, and to just go to the DMV and have the named changed as soon as possible. I don't want to say anything to my brothers and sisters, who are both biologically my parents kids. As far as I'm concerned, the dad who raised me is my actual and only father. What should I do?", "summary": "found out today that the father that raised me with my mom isn't my biological father. I don't really care, and want to move on like nothing happened. Is that right?"} {"id": "t3_2h2i8l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 F] with my BF [28 M] of four years, saw picture of himself he never sent me", "post": "I just moved cross country to be with my boyfriend of just about four years, and a good chunk of that time we have been in a long distance relationship. We both have Facebook accounts, and although he is notorious for hating pictures taken of himself, he has never hid the fact that we're together and in a serious relationship. \n\nToday while out shopping, we were looking for something in a home store and when he got out his phone to look at a picture he had taken of the problem, I saw a picture he had taken of himself smiling and posing that I hadn't seen before and looked recent. Several minutes later, we drove back and we got in a little tiff about organizing the house. I finished my stuff, but he seemed irritated still and left to go do errands without telling me.\n\nNow, I know that I am pairing those two events together, and they likely don't need to be. However, I am very curious about why he took that picture of himself and for who- even when we were long distance I'd have to beg him relentlessly to get a photo sent so I'd remember what he looked like.", "summary": "Will talk to him later, but needed a sanity check on whether it's ok to be curious/anxious about seeing a picture of himself on his phone when he hates pictures."} {"id": "t3_3q1tgb", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I [21F] tell my dad [55M] to back off?", "post": "I would like to apologize for the block of text in advance.\n\nSorry.\n\nSome background info:\nMy boyfriend [22M] and I have been dating for 4.5 years as of September 2015. My parents (Mom, Dad and Stepmother) and my little sister all really like him, and his family (mom, dad, stepmom, older brother, step-siblings) all like me. Boyfriend (we'll call him Joe) and met back in high school and go to colleges that are about 10 minutes away from each other. Right now we are living together, much to my dad's chagrin.\n\nMy dad started bugging us to get engaged since my freshman year of college (about 1.5 years into our relationship), but recently it has gotten really bad. My dad moved from California to Texas after my little sister graduated high school and every time I talk to him or go visit him over the holidays he asks me 'where this relationship is headed'. I know that he wasn't wild about me moving in with my boyfriend before getting engaged, he's a bit old fashion, but he has since accepted it. What he can't get over is that we've been dating for 4.5 years and I don't have a ring to show for it.\n\nRecently my younger (6 months) cousin, his niece, got engaged and this has made things worse.\nJoe and I have discussed getting engaged after we have both graduated, he has enough money to buy me a ring we both love, and we have our own place in the California Bay Area -so probably an apartment or a condo because houses will be too expensive for a while. He is graduating in December and I'll be graduating in May.\n\nI have told my dad on multiple occasions that I will NOT get engaged while still in college, but just ignores me or brings everything up the next day. How do I explain to my dad, who tapes episodes of Say Yes to the Dress (which I really don't watch) for me and practically dragged me into a jewelry store to look at engagement rings, that he needs to stop harassing me and that Joe and I will get engaged when we are ready?", "summary": "I've been dating my boyfriend for 4.5 years and my dad won't stop bugging me about getting engaged on his timeline."} {"id": "t3_2akh2y", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I have a serious problem with spending money...", "post": "I am currently 20 years old, and have been working to earn money since I was 16. This also started a major mental issue I have had in regards to spending money. You see, before I had a job money was meant to be spent, and I sure never had a single problem going out and spending that money freely. But over the years I have gown accustom to aggressive saving, and that has over time lead to me overall having more money, and not wanting to spend my money at all. As of lately, for no good reason, I have been aggressively saving 50-70% of each paycheck, though I'm not saving for anything in particular and my day to day expenses are still very minimal. I have more money than I have ever had before, and I can't bring myself to spend it. \n\nFor example, today I needed to buy a mount for my camera, sitting at best buy I spend literally 30+ min contemplating whether or not it was worth buying, despite knowing I would need it to do what I want to do. Someone how, even with well over $2k in expendable cash (not including emergency reserves) and another paycheck coming tomorrow, I couldn't bring myself to spend $40 for this mount. I went home empty handed. \n\nThis extends to pretty much every purchase. I saved for months to buy my own motorcycle with cash rather than finance it, and despite it being the most fun thing I have ever owned, many months later I still have buyer's remorse. The first day I was so desperate to return it, that I struggled to tell myself I should keep it. My friends don't like hanging out with me as often because whenever we go out to eat or spend money, I always psych myself out over spending any of it, even if I have no shortage of it. \n\nWhat makes things weird is this all started when I started earning more money. I make a lot more than I did when I worked minimum wage, and ever sense then my lifestyle has adapted, my saving has increased tenfold, and my spending has stayed roughly the same, but with a lot more mental consequence. \n\nReally not sure how to get out of this mental state. I want to enjoy buying things, but I simply haven't in a while.", "summary": "used to love to spend money, make more money than I did in the past, now I feel guilty with every purchase."} {"id": "t3_4vvyeo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] have been dating 5 years and I'm unsure if she's \"the one\"", "post": "Hey r/relationships. As the title states my gf and i have been together 5 years. we live together and have a dog. day to day things are fine but we have both noticed over the past few weeks or months it seems like we are more like room mates than in a relationship.\n\nI dont know that we are on the same page as far as future plans. we have talked about marriage and kids etc etc but i just dont have \"the feeling\" that i think i should that she is \"the one\". she is at the point where she needs more commitment (or the promise of it) or its a waste of our time. \n\nIt would be fair to say that she shows more love than i do her. in the past ive attributed that to being distracted/stressed with school and everything else but now that im out of that stage of my life im not sure. I do love her but i'm not sure if thats a result of living and being together so long or if its because she actually is the one. I'm not sure how it works but i feel like after 5 years if it was meant to be I would know. \n\nI'm probably answering my own question as I type but i just continue to go back and forth between knowing that i do love her and want the best for her and the fact that we are not on the same page and that if i had to decide today, I am not ready.", "summary": "I'm not sure if my gf of 5 years is \"the one\", and at this point a decision needs to be made one way or another."} {"id": "t3_42wm31", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (22f) fianc\u00e9 (24) has been searching his ex-fianc\u00e9 on Facebook a lot.", "post": "Hey guys\n\nSo, I(22f) was on my fianc\u00e9's (24m) phone because we were at my friends house who he never met and I used his phone to find her through his Facebook and add her for him (his request). We've been together for over a year.\n\nSome background information, he was engaged just last year to some girl he claims he didn't really like but felt pressured to marry, but she cheated on him and he left her.\n\nSo I went to type in my friend's name, but his last three searches popped up in the drop down, and his ex-fiance was the first one. So out of curiosity, I opened his activity log and he has searched her over ten times, the month of January 2016, alone. He told me he had blocked her.\n\nI'm not really sure how to feel about it. I know he loves me and we are engaged, but it still makes me insecure. I don't search my exes. \n\nIs this something I should ignore or bring up?", "summary": "My fianc\u00e9 has been Facebook searching his ex fianc\u00e9 a lot over the past few months. Should I be bothered?"} {"id": "t3_517846", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] am having concerns about dating and pursuing a new relationship.", "post": "I am currently attending school at a military academy. Over the past 2 years I've faced 2 relationships that put me through the ringer from an emotional standpoint. The first [18F] lasted about 5-6 months before we dated for a week. We hooked up, but shortly after she broke it off. About a month later she was dating another guy (he goes to the same school). I fell into a bit of a depression and couldn't concentrate on school and went severely down-hill with motivation. \n\nAfter about 8 months I met another [18F] girl. She helped me get through a lot of personal issues especially when it came to family troubles. I'm not sure if it was the honeymoon phase or what but I came off as smothering. We dated for a month before she broke it off. Same situation, broke down and stopped caring about everything. I see her all the time here at school but it doesn't bother me as much anymore. Really what made me upset was the breakup and the feeling like I lost someone close to me. I felt like I was at fault and I messed up. Even though it has been about 7-8 months since the breakup I only feel like it has been a month or so since getting over it. I still have my bad days, but not nearly as bad or as often.\n\nThe dilemma I face now is I have met another [20F] who I am interested in asking out. She is older than the other two which I realise now is part of the reason why it didn't work out, but she seems to have her stuff together. Some of the concerns I have are: 1) She's lives in the same squadron as I do, and I really don't want to risk problems in squad while I live here for the next year, 2) I'm worried that due to my prior relationships, maybe I'm not mature enough for a relationship or if it doesn't go well I'll take it personally and crash again, 3) Both of us may be busy with school, I don't want to be a burden on her if it came down to it. What are your opinions? I can answer additional questions, because I know I didn't put everything.", "summary": "I had 2 failed relationships that were a major hit against me, not sure if I should pursue a relationship or stay away from it."} {"id": "t3_2kzt8z", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by paying \u00a3120 to take a dump", "post": "So this happened last week. It's about toilets so the mods wouldn't let me post until a Saturday. \n\nI fucked up by going to the loo before my client meeting last Thursday morning. I arrived at my clients offices twenty minutes before my meeting was due to start. Realising I had an almighty pre meeting nerves and coffee shit brewing, I decided to relieve myself.\n\nI went into the single toilet off of the hallway and sat down to do my business. Due to the amount of coffee I had consumed earlier I released a satisfying torrent, worthy of any man dealing with low level ibs.\n\nAfter finishing, I proceeded to start wiping. But my dear reddit I forgot to check that there was toilet paper in the loo. Panic ensued. I looked everywhere. There wasn't any paper towels or even dirty tissues in the bin. Fuck.\n\nI tried to call my colleague to help me but I had no mobile signal. And then it dawned on me. Receipts! I had receipts in my wallet. What I failed to realise was that I'd cleared out my wallet the night before. All that remained were my expenses for client meetings on the previous day. \n\nSo reddit. I did what I had to. I wiped my arse with three receipts totalling \u00a3120. I can no longer claim that money. I wiped my bum with \u00a3120.", "summary": "There was no toilet paper so I had to wipe my arse with expenses receipts totalling \u00a3120 that I now can't claim from my company."} {"id": "t3_1xxat9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29/m] seriously disappointed my [31/f] girlfriend. Any advice?", "post": "So my girlfriend got me chocolate and a thoughtful gift today. What I had planned to do was surprise her at work with flowers and a card. In addition, tomorrow, I was going to drive 4 hours to get her a very special cake.\n\nI played it off like \"oh, I'm sorry, I didn't get you anything, I thought we were doing something tomorrow!\" Now she's VERY upset at me, said \"I thought you were going to surprise me at work or something (she works tonight and I have planned to surprise her)!\" She said,\"forget it, I want nothing, not today, not tomorrow! Leave me alone!\"\n\nWhat the hell just happened?\n\nAlso, it's her birthday on Sunday. She's been declaring this past week her birthday week. Since Monday, she's received a $120 mani/pedi, a $300 Nintendo Wii with 4 games, 2 dinners, 1 lunch, and 1 day of puppy watching at a shelter because she knows I'm going to get her a dog. Also, she owes me $150, which I probably won't get back, but I don't mind. Why does none of that already count? Why is she so mad at me? Also, the 4 hour cake tomorrow!", "summary": "I've given lots of gifts to my girlfriend the past week, but she thinks none of them were given today so now she's mad and wants nothing."} {"id": "t3_y0seb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I am bored with life and I have no idea what to do with it. I have $20k in my pocket....what should I do?", "post": "Life has become quite Cynical to me at the moment. I am bored with life. I have no meaning, I could die tomorrow and really would not care, so be it. I am currently traveling, yet slowly and am in a set location for a few months (for free magically.....man its amazing what you can do when your a nomad) and I cant seem to spend it fast enough. I think I spend on average like $4 a day on food [locally grown organics] if that, except today when I splurged on a $5 burger and fruit smoothie. I am an expat from the US & now a solo traveler/FA for about 6 moths by choice. {some people drive me crazy....naturally. And I have this feeling that 99% of society falls in that category} So help me reddit....what can I invest in, experience, do, love, or go. Been to college and done that so don't say it. Yes my family has issues, but they have not asked me to help on their own. I am 21 and free as a bird....give me ideas please. \n\nI am looking for passion. Perhaps a good investment idea or restaurant concept. I spent $50 bucks yesterday on kickstarter, so I guess I do see a bit of hope in the world. \n\nI am looking for serious answers. AMA for clarification purposes. Please don't tell me something I already know....like the give to the poor yadda yadda yadda. I am looking for excitement. Something to be passionate about. Been to college and done that. Currently traveling. Excite me, no I will not give it to you, but maybe we could share it. \n\nBe aware, you are talking to a philosopher here. If I have heard your answer before then do not state the obvious....like the fact that you like to live under bridges. To clarify again I am a Cynic, and not a cynic.", "summary": "I have $$$ & looking for something meaningful to do with it. Please don't give me a useless/pointless/meaningless answer. AMA if you need clarification."} {"id": "t3_3ff02c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] with my girlfriend [19F] of two years. She's having a hard time opening up about her problems and concerns. Advice?", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for around two years. Neither of us are very confrontational, so when a problem arises, it doesn't ever really get mentioned, but sort of just brushed under the rug. I know this isn't healthy, and we're trying to fix it now.\n\nAfter a near-breakup experience back in February, I've made sure to be better about letting her know when I have a problem, so things are ok on my end. She, on the other hand, is having a difficult time opening up, even by her own admittance. \n\nWhen she has a problem, even small, she doesn't talk about it to anyone, and puts up a front to appear okay. The problem stews in her head and worsens her mood, making her mad at every little thing I do, and making her think we're not good together. \"Familiarity breeds contempt,\" so to speak. This eventually led to her rash decision to break up with me for about a week, after which we talked things through and were happily reunited.\n\nSo we are now determined to improve on her communication to make our relationship work out, but the problem lies therein: how do we help improve her communication, which is so ingrained in her person? I've agreed to do all I can to ask her about how she's feeling and if she wants to talk, but it's mostly up to her to open up and let me know. So, is there any advice anyone can provide for helping her come out with her problems and talk about them? How can she make it easier on herself to bring up her issues?", "summary": "My girlfriend has a hard time bringing up and talking about her problems. Any advice on how to make it easier for her?"} {"id": "t3_2pt8fb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my ex girlfriend [17 F] of two years, broke up a week ago and i really miss her", "post": "My ex and I broke up because of too many arguments. After the first year and half we were constantly arguing and we broke up and got back 3 times. This is the fourth time. We have many experiences together and many memories that are just hard to let go. I miss her so much i really want us to get back but I don't know if i should go for it or not. I know that I'm still young. But I've never felt this way towards someone. Because i miss her so much we ended up talking one day. The conversation was going fine then we started talking about us. She said the only reason she broke up is because of the constant arguments and we never seem to stop arguing, she said that she is happy because there are no more arguments but she said that she misses being with me. I feel that way too.\n\n I really want her back but i just don't know what to do. Should I go with the no contact rule? I'm afraid she will move on really quickly. Also i forgot to add that the arguments are both because of my insecurities and jealousy and her anger and not wanting to lose an argument. I just really miss her.", "summary": "Miss my girlfriend after a break up. We have broken up and gotten back several times, but i dont know if i should try to get her back."} {"id": "t3_10t0e0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "First submission to Reddit. Lost something very personal to me and I am not sure what to do...", "post": "Hello all,\n\nAfter about a year of lurking, I have decided to submit this as my first submission ever because I am at a complete loss on what to do. Over time, I have seen Reddit come together to provide amazing advice for people in need. As my first submission to Reddit, and I am asking for your help and on how to go about trying to retrieve stolen items from my fianc\u00e9. Currently, we are living in/around Disney in Florida and are originally from Michigan... So here's the story and details:\n\nOn October 1st, my fianc\u00e9 was out with some friends and around 2am she had lost her purse in the Disney area. She was outside at the time and security attempted to help her find her purse to no avail. She went home for the night.\n\nThe next morning we called Guest Relations at Disney to find that her purse had not been lost/found. We cancelled all forms of payment and proper ID's to get them cancelled and resent to us on different accounts. A police report was also filed against the stolen purse. The value of the purse is that of a felony (things inside included and personal items).\n\nWe found that at 5:00am one of her cards were attempted to be used at a 7/11. Since then we have contacted the store and had requested surveillance to be checked. Nothing has come out of this yet and I am attempting to go to the store in person tomorrow (10/2). I am curious on how any surveillance can be used to assist police in any investigations but have no clue if they would even take the time to look into this case.\n\nI have contacted local pawn shops in town to see if anything had been seen in person comparable to the items missing. I have also checked various popular websites to see if anything had been publicly posted. Nothing has shown up yet and a whole day has gone by since.\n\nThis is about the extent of the information I have available. I'm not sure what options I have beyond everything that has already been done and am looking for dire help before too much time passes and all is lost.", "summary": "My fianc\u00e9 had her purse stolen with fraudulent attempts used on her account. I need the purse back because the value is very personal and I'm not sure what else to do."} {"id": "t3_4ngdgi", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Does she want me?", "post": "Okay so there is this girl ive been talking too alot for the past 2 months. We meet up alot in real life and just talk all the time and it's great. Recently I confessed that I really like her and would like the friendship to me more then just a friendship, she said she doesn't like me like that and she had broken up with her boyfriend 3 months ago and didn't want another relationship so soon, but she said she would love to go on a date to give it a go.\n\nLast night the subject of our conversation turned into sex and I was jokingly saying that I will become a Wizard because that's what happens when you are still a virgin after 40/50 years (I couldn't remember neither could she), afterwards I proceeded to joke om that I would be so desperate I would land up going to the red light district in Amsterdam. Then she started telling me that it's not true etc etc and she just spammed me with those grin emojis and kept saying 'Heeeeeyyy jij' (which translates into Heyyy you). I got confused and asked her what she was on about and she said 'nothing hihihi' with a blushing emoji.\n\nSo now im left confused wondering what she meant.", "summary": "I mentioned to a girl that ill be a virgin for life and she sent confusing messages back saying noooo and hihi with smirking and blushing emoji's."} {"id": "t3_1me66a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25f] have to move away next summer for two years. My boyfriend [25m] of 1 1/2 years wants to get married before I leave, but he can't come with me.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating 1 1/2 years and have built a very strong relationship, at this point I'm about 95% sure he's the guy I want to marry. Problem is, I'm in an intense program at school that requires that I move away next summer, ten hours away from where I live now. I'll be gone for two years. He has suggested that we get married before I leave, and to be honest I'm pretty sure I'd want to get married next summer except for this issue. He is unable to come with me because he finally got his dream job here, and leaving just isn't an option anymore. I can't ask him to give up his career in favor of mine, and he would never ask me to do the same. \n\nI love the idea of being married to him, but I want to be excited when we finally do, not dreading the fact that we'll have to be apart right after we do get married. \n\nAnother problem is that the two of us have decided to wait until marriage for sex, and if we were to wait to get married until after I graduate it would mean visiting each other would be great, but there'd be tons of temptation to do things we vowed not to do. But if we did get married, I can't help but worry about where we would stay when visiting one another- it would make sense for both of us to have roommates to decrease our costs of living, but I don't want our married lives to be spent in houses we share with our single friends. \n\nI know I still have a few months to decide, but I know that time will come faster than I want it to. Any advice anyone can give would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "I'm leaving next summer for two years, my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years has suggested we get married before I leave."} {"id": "t3_2awf5t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I his cover story?", "post": "I [24 f] have been with my boyfriend [29 ] for a little over two years, we licte together in his house. The first 2 weeks of our relationship were great, and he wanted me all the time. Shortly after he started acting like a dick. He puts me down, talks to me like I'm stupid and makes fun of me to his friends or mine and even talks crap about me to his ex. \n\nWe haven't had sex in over a year and the last time we did, I had to beg for it and it lasted less than 5 mins because he said he had a headache. He's never finished during sex with me but he has no problems ejaculating with his flesh light or in the shower. \n\nHe makes fake passes at me and half heartedly grabs my boobs or ass and complains all the time about how I'm 'unresponsive'. But when I invite him to shower with me, he doesn't touch me or look at me or get hard. I can't remember the last time I saw him get hard. My friends think he's gay, and I'm not sure what to do anymore.", "summary": "My bf of 2 years doesn't seem to be physically attracted to me and my friends think he's gay and using me as a cover."} {"id": "t3_127wnj", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "M[19] just ended a long-distance relationship with F[17]. She wants to meet up as 'friends' next week.", "post": "I broke up with my girlfriend after just over a year of seeing her last night. A couple of months ago I moved to uni over 2 and a half hours away and the long distance has effectively ruined our relationship. Neither of us were happy so I decided that it would be best to end it.\n\nShe is my first true love and we've experienced everything for the first time with each other, so letting go of that was very hard. She wants to see me as 'just friends' which would mean her coming up to stay with me for 2 days next week. I feel that this is either going to make this break up even harder, or that we will end up getting back together, only for us to have to go through this pain again at a later stage.\nIs seeing each other a good idea, or should I tell her that I think it's best if we both had some space? Thank-you for any responses.", "summary": "Long distance meant relationship had to end. She now wants to see me as friends and I don't think this is a good idea. Is it?"} {"id": "t3_25ehm3", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Going for an internship this summer with a judge. Another student at the internship told me he is going to make sure he embarrasses me as much as he can so I don't get a recommendation letter. What do I do?", "post": "Going for an internship this summer with a judge. Another student at the internship told me he is going to make sure he embarrasses me as much as he can so I don't get a recommendation letter. What do I do?\n\nMy plan is just to ignore such comments and do my job. However, I'll have to be working with him for our judge. He told me he's not going to work with me and going to make sure that he tries to make himself look better with any chance he gets. He's in his late 20s and I'm 21 Admittedly, it's a competitive environment, but is this what happens?\n\nLike I said, I'm going to ignore such comments and work with him when and how I have to. I actually looked forward to working with this other student, because I've heard he knows his stuff, but after speaking to him about it I was put off.", "summary": "Instead of giving me advice to be antagonistic towards him, I want to make it a beneficial environment so we can be friends and actually work together. Any tips?"} {"id": "t3_2ijgwi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "He [30/M] doesn't want a relationship with me [25/F]. I've told him I do. He still puts more effort than I do into getting together.", "post": "I have become friends with this guy even though we used to hate each other. Also, we sleep together but that's it. Nothing romantic. He's never even told me I'm pretty, and that bothers me. I told him that last weekend and all he said was \"well I thought what we're doing is courtship/dating. So-and-so even asked me if you were my girlfriend.\"\n\n\"You said no, right?\"\n\n\"Well yeah, we're not together.\"\n\nI previously told him I didn't want to keep casually sleeping together, and he just waited it out until I changed my mind. \n\nAfter that, he wanted to go out more as if we were together. He's done this with other girls. I've heard about how they left because he didn't want a relationship. Of all the crap excuses I've heard in my lifetime, I really believe he has intimacy issues. He's never said that. It's just obvious.\n\nBut if he doesn't want me, why does he keep inviting me out places? Why doesn't he just booty call? I love hanging out and talking with him and of course I love the sex, but this is getting to be ridiculous. \n\nIt's making me feel like I'm not enough. But I really care about him and want to keep him in my life.", "summary": "Friend with benefits asks me out a lot but still makes me feel unwanted. I'd be just as happy without the 'benefits.'"} {"id": "t3_1z0u96", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my BF [23 M/F] 4 years, still love my first love?", "post": "About 4 1/2 years ago, I was in a relationship with someone I completely adored. He was all I could have ever dreamed of in a partner. I messed it up by opening up about the depth of my feelings way too early. He broke it off with me about a week later and I was devastated.\n\nFast forward 5-6 months when I meet my current boyfriend. He was nice, really funny, sexy as hell. I love him with all of my heart, he's put up with a lot of my shit. But I put up with a lot for him too because I love him. Sometimes I wonder if I just stay with him because I know these things.\n\nAfter 4 1/2 years I still have feelings for my ex. I miss him and am even envious of him and his new girlfriends relationship. I am so happy he found someone he really cares about too but it destroys me. I just dunno what to do. Are strong love/missing feelings normal for a first love this long after? It makes me re-think if my current relationship is worth it.", "summary": "Ahh dunno what to do. With my boyfriend in LTR, still in love with my ex, my \"first love.\""} {"id": "t3_mr6xp", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "And a newcomer approaches...", "post": "And is quickly defeated by himself.\n\nHey everyone. 6'0\" 230 male here who has never worked out a day in his life (that's a lie, but roll with it.)\n\nSo I've gone through my Facebook photos to old pics from my early college days (6 years ago till about 4 years ago) and I am sad to realize how much weight I put on through what many would consider an unhealthy obsession with binge drinking and bad habits. I've decided that now, a whopping 60 pounds later, that perhaps I should attempt to make some healthy life choices.\n\nSo I started today. Bought myself a pair of Asics running shoes and went out for what was to be a light jog/walk. Opened up my iPhone's Nike+ GPS app and went off... I promptly died.\n\nThe whole trip was 1.2 miles. I jogged probably .75 of those 1.2 miles. And I was out of breath the entire time. \n\nBad habits I aim to stop:\n* Late night snacking\n* Related to that, staying up late (often 3-4AM)\n* Fast Food (I work retail with only a 30 minute break. It's tough.)\n* Smoking (I quite smoking mostly, but still do when out drinking with friends)\n* Heavy drinking (Have a head start here. Bad experience convinced me that being 24 and acting 18 isn't attractive anymore)\n* Making excuses (Will be the hardest one to quit)\n\nJust looking for anyone else who has had a similar start... I've not the slightest idea what I am doing. Though I'm disappointed in my result, I'm glad that I at least put forth the effort today.", "summary": "I'm fatter than I was and trying to not be anymore. You'll be hearing more from me, I hope."} {"id": "t3_4wkaq5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] have had a lot of problems with my boyfriend [20M] and don't think we should be together anymore but am too scared to do anything.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now and have lived together a little over a year now as well. I'm going to community college so we still live with my mother and younger brother and my mom charges him rent (much less than she even charged my older siblings). He works but doesn't go to school or help me around the house. At this point it feels like an expectation for me to clean up after him all the time and he gets easily offended or upset. We have often fought about him thinking I'm lazy or don't contribute enough. I no longer feel like he is supportive of me at all and he continually talks down to me because I don't have a job at the moment and am focusing on school. I suffer from depression and anxiety which often messes with my sleeping schedule and energy. I just constantly find myself filled with anxiety afraid I'm going to upset him somehow, almost like I am walking on eggshells to keep him happy and not focusing on my own happiness. I often think about all the things i could do if we werent together without feeling guilty or afraid of him getting upset at me and feel no guilt afterwards. I just feel trapped. We met online and he moved 3 hours from home to live with me and now has a stable job (albeit at a fastfood restaurant but its still a job) and has settled in and he allows me to use his car, making it much more difficult to leave him considering he lives under my roof. He wasn't always like this, this has just been our lives the past 6 months but i don't feel like i can deal with it anymore, especially with the way he dehumanizes my family. I am too scared to break it off with him because he often punches walls and things when he gets angry (he has never physically hurt me before) and my anxiety stops me from ever saying anything to him. I rarely feel like i can stand up for myself. Is this an abusive relationship? I don't know how to go about this or what to do. I probably left a lot of details out so comment any questions and i will be happy to clarify.", "summary": "No longer happy in relationship, boyfriend constantly makes me feel miserable. Not sure if on purpose. Abusive? Should I end it? How?"} {"id": "t3_2jkz3s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[17M] getting mixed signals from my crush [17F]", "post": "Met and started talking to this girl at my high school a few weeks ago. We only have one class together and don't see each other during the day.\n\nShe is very nice to me when we talk in person. She choses to sit right next to me, broke the \"touch barrier\" with me, compliments me frequently and etc. I have taken this to mean that she could be interested in me. I should note that I have never had any experience like this before. I am a fairly good-looking guy, but I have moderate-severe social anxiety.\n\nAnyway, I want to get to know her better and ideally would like to ask her out on a date sometime in the next couple of weeks, but she doesn't seem to be reciprocative to my approaches online. We have messaged on FB a few times, and she seems to be just as enthusiastic to be talking with me as she is in real life. None of the notorious \"one-word responses\"... Detailed responses. \n\nBut she never messages me first :/ And also I was able to get her phone number, and what alarms me the most is that she has not responded to any of my texts approaching her for casual conversation related stuff (what are your interests, future plans? etc.). I have sent two, both appropriately timed so as to not seem desperate. And I *know* that she is receiving them because she recently texted me asking about something school-related, which she could not have done without receiving something from my number first... So that rules out the possibility of a tech problem being the culprit...\n\nAny insight or ideas as to what could be going on? It kind of hurts me because I really thought we had a thing going, and I am really hesitant to try to make any more advances until she tosses the ball back :(", "summary": "Getting really strange, mixed signals from my crush, should I accept that she isn't interested in me, or continue to pursue a relationship with her?"} {"id": "t3_339fjq", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Sharing an Anniversary", "post": "Wedding is in about a year- been thinking May 2016 since we got engaged in February. Due to bridal party members being in grad school, we are limited to the last 3 weekends, so the 14th, 21st& 28th. Originally wanted the 21st-got it in the church calendar a week ago. Find out yesterday the priest, an old family friend coming in from out of state, actually has a conflict that weekend. 28th is Memorial Day weekend, and all our families are traveling 3+ hours. Don't want to deal with booking stuff/travel on a holiday weekend. Fine, the 14th works for us and priest. Talk to my mom about this, and am reminded that the 14th is my aunt& uncles anniversary. It won't be a milestone year, and they won't be offended or anything. My main issue is a) do I have to recognize this during the ceremony/reception? And b) FIL, FH's aunt and uncle& grandparents all share an anniversary that we chose to not use. They won't be offended I don't think but it's a little rude.", "summary": "had to change our date, now it's the same as a close family members anniversary. Do we recognize them day of? We also chose to avoid a date sentimental to multiple couples in FH's family, so is that awkward?"} {"id": "t3_3itl9a", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not passing a school project", "post": "I'm a 9th grader that (I think) excels the most in Computer subject. The story started when our teacher gave us a project that we have to combine HTML pages and CSS to create a functional school website sample. We were given a LOT of time (1 month) to create it and assigned to a group with some students who also have a good knowledge in web developing. The project was working good. All links are functional, the style looks good, and I found out we have the best creations among other groups. So it means we usually come with meet-ups to my group leader in their house. Spending a lot of time that I'm not with my parents, and always saying the same reason that I'm with my friends doing our project. And which makes my parents think that I'm just wasting my time playing with friends and not doing house chores. So my parents confiscated my gadgets including my phone (which I use to encode contents while I'm inside the school) and my laptop (which I use to preview in browsers to test compatibility). And my parents doesn't trust my reason because they usually see me playing video games. Two weeks before the passing time, my group members found out that I don't have the data to include on the whole project (since I was assigned to make the 20% of the whole project). Then, I'm with my friends the whole week, encoding the contents on my classmate's computer. Even though, after that week, my parents required me to go home on the school's dismissal time and I can't join them anymore. They tried their best but haven't finished and my group mates (including my crush) are mad on me , because of me. And I felt to be very fucked up... so my parents gave back my gadgets two hours before this post. And the worst, yesterday was the deadline.\n>", "summary": "We haven't passed our Computer project because my laptop was confiscated by my parents and my group mates are mad at me."} {"id": "t3_1fe5bw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My husband (23M) and I (22F) got into a huge arguement and I left the house. I regret my decision somewhat but I don't feel I am wrong. What should I do?", "post": "My husband and I have been together 6 years and today we got into a huge arguement over him inviting a friend to come live with us. \nI didn't want the friend(23m) there but my husband made a point of not leaving him in the streets. -Ok I can agree to that. No one should be left in the streets and the friend was going to pay us anyways.\nWell I had not much say in the friend staying so I gave that battle up. But where I drew the line was at him bringing his pets too. I didn't want his pets at our house and my husband agreed that it would be fine as that was my only restriction. Well he ends up asking me anyways if I'm sure that the pet can't come. I say no. Its another arguement because I feel he's pawning it off on me when we're supposed to be a couple and when we make a decision that decision is made. The answer remains no to the pets.\nThen the friend says he would be willing to put a deposit. The answer is NO . So then he says he doesn't want to live with us afterall. So I feel like my husband and I argued over him for nothing. And I'm mad at my husband for even trying to do him a favor.\nSo anyways I was so upset and I just felt so uncomfortable because I feel that my husband is going to blame me if anything happens to his friend , that I made him bring me to my moms house. I didn't speak to him the entire 30 minute ride. Didn't say when I would be back. And I already miss him dearly but I can't forgive him for putting his friend between us. I would like to go home but I don't feel I should apologize and I actually feel he owes me an apology. Part of me wants to apologize to just end this but I feel if I do I will be blamed for his friends future failures that could have been prevented if he lived with us.", "summary": "fight with husband. Want to apologize to end the fight but not be blamed for it because I don't feel it was my fault.what can I do?"} {"id": "t3_4scv5q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] 6 months, moving in with male roommate", "post": "Redditors,\n\nAt the beginning of the relationship, my girlfriend applied for a job that would provide free housing this year while she is at college (I work in a city 3 hours away). She did not receive the position, so she found a roommate: a male roommate who is someone she went to high school with. Since we had just started dating, I didn't really have a lot of grounds to tell her she couldn't, but she did ask me (and was incredibly nervous) prior to making a decision. \n\nNow, as school is about to begin, I find myself worrying to death over the situation. She and I love each other very much; however, my concern is that issues will arise since we are 3 hours apart. She reassures me that there is nothing to worry about, but I can't help it. \n\nWhat should I do? What should I ask her about the situation, and how can I lessen the chances of anything happening? I can see myself marrying this woman beyond a shadow of a doubt, and it would break my heart if something were to happen due to the roommate situation.", "summary": "GF moving in with a male friend from highschool and she and I are in a LDR. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_n9ilh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Rape Culture: The stuff lads' mags are made of?", "post": "Hi reddit,\n\nI recent came across a blog post by a local Northern Irish writer, [\"Rape Culture: The Stuff Lads Mags are made of\"] It's not the best written thing in the world, but it asked a lot of (what I thought) were interesting questions on a piece of research that showed approximately 50% of the public responding to a survey, couldn't tell the difference between 'lads' mags quotes, and *quotes from convicted rapists*.\n\nI don't really subscribe to the ideology of 'Rape Culture', but this recent study does make me wonder about it. So I wanted to ask;\n\n**Men of reddit, (and I'd like to hear back from UK/NI Redditors!), do you think that the language used in 'lads mags' is dangerous???**", "summary": "version; [\"What do lads' mags and rapists have in common?\"] ... Our local writer has lifted a huge amount of material from this article, so it's a good substitute to read up on the issue."} {"id": "t3_2tatpp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [26F] boyfriend [27M] of almost 3 years decided he wants to move 45 minutes away from our current city. I do not. What now?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have a good relationship. We've had our ups and downs but we're best friends and I can't imagine being with anyone else. \nWe started living together this past May and things have been great. We get along well and neither of us have any serious complaints. He's been working from home for the past year and is starting to get sick of it. He recently started volunteering to teach kids how to code (his profression) at a program that's in a major city about 45 minutes away. He drives there every Saturday morning and he loves the program. \nLast night we were talking about what we were going to do when our lease was up in May. I told him I love our house and the town we live in and I would like stay for another year. He very matter of factly stated \"well I'm planning on moving to X city when the lease is up. I thought you'd want to do that too.\" I explained all of our friendsand family live here who we see very often and commuting back and forth to see them would be awful. I also really just hate this specific city and have never had any interest in living there. His response was \"well just stay here. you can afford to do it if you get a roommate.\" \nMaybe I'm overreacting but that was kind of hurtful to hear. I feel like I have no say in what's happening. I told him this and he said he might end up staying here but if not he would absolutely want me to move with him.\nI feel like I'm stuck. If I don't move to a city I hate to be with him our relationship will take a step backwards and I don't even know how it would continue to work with us. I also don't want to make him stay here because I feel like he'll end up resenting me.\n\nAny advice would be extremely helpful. Thanks!", "summary": "boyfriend wants to move 45 minutes away to a city I hate. If I don't do it I feel like our relationship will end."} {"id": "t3_1k1nxn", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[22/f] I have so many conflicting emotions about my relationship with my girlfriend [27/f].", "post": "**Background**\nWe've been dating two years (as of next month/September 29th, 2013). It's my longest relationship and her longest functional relationship. I love her a lot and even though we really don't have many of the same interests, we really balance each other out. I moved in with her around the 6-month point due to issues with my mom and younger sister and that's when things started to get...I don't even know. Not in the normal \"we moved in together too soon\" way. It's her dad. He has struggled with depression for years and often puts her down. It's presented as jokes, but you start to feel some sort of truth behind them after a while, you know? He also likes to hoard things. Papers, old computers, TVs, etc. Any room that isn't used regularly is filled with junk, and the house as a whole isn't cleaned regularly.\n\n**Issue**\nHer dad has guilted her into living with him until he dies. She's almost thirty and has never been independant, and has no confidence in her decision-making skills. I am now roped into this situation and have no idea what to do. I feel like I'd be making her choose between me and her dad if I said anything.", "summary": "My girlfriend and I live with her dad, who has guilted her into living with him in a semi-hoarder house until he dies. Meanwhile, I want to make a life with her."} {"id": "t3_sexur", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Please read, I really need advice! (x/post from r/self)", "post": "Okay, so here's my story: 9 years ago my boyfriend died. He had been out of contact with his family during most of the time we were together, and they lived across the country so I had no opportunity to really get to know them at all. When he died, I flew across the country to go to the funeral and I was able to meet his mother, father, and sister. I was all kinds of messed up at the time and I have since lost everything that I ever had regarding the whereabouts of his family. I have periodically searched the internet to see if I can find them, and recently his little sister opened a FB account. I really want to get in touch but I don't know what to say, and I don't want to upset the family. I should mention that his family was very gracious with me and they were thankful of my relationship with him, so I know that they don't hate me. What do I do? Do I send this girl a message? What should it say? Thank you for any insights.", "summary": "I just found my dead boyfriend's sister on FB. Should I get in touch with her? What should I say, if anything?"} {"id": "t3_1ow71j", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Did I almost get kidnapped?", "post": "I just got out of a moment that just terrified me, I'm getting it out right now because everyone's asleep and I need somebody to talk to about this. \n\nI was heading back to my dorm from a friend's apartment. I'm on my bike, just leaving the apartment complex and this Jamaican-looking (best I can describe her as, her english was a bit off too) says \"Hey mister\" I respond \"What's up?\" because I'm a little buzzed and my conversation skills are a bit shaky. She doesn't move or reply. I start to bike over there anyway feeling weird about the situation. She doesn't move one bit as I approach her. You know how you see someone and you both move halfway towards eachother to meet in the middle? She did not do this. \nShe then asks me if I have a cell phone to use. I know many people don't have cell phones but I'm in a college town and she seemed modern, but still a little off.\nAlso keep in mind that I am a 5'5 18 year old boy. I have a muscular frame, so I don't look that small, but I'm still very scared of people bigger than me, which is a lot of people.\nSo she asks to use my phone, and thinking she may steal it, I ask her for the phone number and put it in and dial. She often reminds me how scared she is to walk at night by herself. This happens about 4 times though the interaction with eachother. \nI hand her the dialing phone and she puts it to her ear for about 2 seconds, much too short for the dial tone to even go through. She says \"Oh, they didn't answer\". The whole time she is looking though me with her eyes. Like she's possessed or something. \nShe then reminds me again that she's scared to travel alone at night. It's about 3:20 AM by the way during this. She asks me to walk her to the street light. It wasn't the direction I was going thank God. I get very scared during this and bike away in the opposite direction as fast as possible. \nWas I wrong in suspecting something was up? The whole time I was beyond frightened.", "summary": "Strange lady approached me at 3:20 AM asking me to lead her to the stop light, do people kidnap people like this?"} {"id": "t3_f9by0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "3D experts of reddit, I need a 3D model of a city for my research. Any advice appreciated!", "post": "For investigating navigational deficits in patients with Alzheimer's disease using VR experiments, I need a 3D model of a city as a starting point. It should look as photorealistic as possible and should feature a few salient landmarks. The experiments will only investigate outdoor wayfinding and scene recognition abilities, so it's not necessary to be able to enter the buildings. I searched a lot for for suitable models, but could only come up with [this] for example - can anyone tell me if this is what I'm looking for? Would I be able to use that for street navigation experiments? I am a PhD student in CS, but did not work a lot with 3D before - so any advice on this is welcome!\n\nI can ask my mentor for funds, so if it is of good quality and costs money, that should not be a problem.\n\nFellow redditors, are there any open source 3D models of cities available that you know of?", "summary": "Need a 3D model of a city for navigation experiments involving wayfinding and scene/landmark recognition tasks. Please help!"} {"id": "t3_1p2fgi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [30 F] neighbor keeps banging on ceiling and turning up music because my kids \"are too loud\" I am [23 F]", "post": "I have a 2 year old and a 6 year old. And we have lived in this 4-plex for 6 years now. Our newish neighbor keeps banging on the ceiling because of my 2 year old's running and walking through the house. He does have some pretty loud footsteps, I don't know how he makes himself sound like a giant stomping but he does. And it's almost impossible to tell a 2 year old what not to do with his own legs. \n\nIt's becoming stressful for me, to try to keep my kids quiet when they are not doing anything wrong. They're children and they're playing. Another thing she does, is blare her music when my kids are playing, and it's not just a little to drown out my kids, its wall shaking loud. Do you think I should try to make my kids be quiet, just so she's not annoyed? Or do they have a right to live? \n\nWe've lived downstairs before we moved up here, and the people that lived up here had 3 kids and they were loud, but we understood and never really bitched about the noise, unless they were up in the middle of the night partying. Both my kids go to bed at 8, so it's not like they are interrupting her sleep.", "summary": "Neighbor bitches about noise my 2 year old kid makes, is she being a bitch? Or should I try to keep my child from having fun?"} {"id": "t3_3gv7e6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25M] am slipping into old patterns with a long term friend and crush [24F]. Am I making the wrong call?", "post": "I met this girl, years ago on new year's eve. We hit it off. This is one of those few you meet whom you compare all the rest to. Went on some unsuccessful dates, I'd just come out of a big relationship, and hadn't really processed properly, and things slowly fell apart. We had some minor issues, but it was mostly bad timing and poor assumptions.\n\nFour years later now, we have been on again off again friends, and recently have fallen back into a pattern of long emails, sometimes several times a day, and hang out more and more often. We talk for ten hours without noticing the time go by, and we are extremely comfortable with one another.\n\nShe has had a long term romantic entanglement with a highschool sweetheart, and has only this year really moved away from it. Now I see more of her, she is again more liable for physical contact, and is sweeter than ever.\n\nShe is quite an introspective person and at the best of times liable to conceal her true feelings, she has her reasons, and I don't fault her for them, but this also constantly leaves things in a state of confusion. We're friends, but most of my female friendships don't extend to this level of intimacy, and the ones that do have clear boundaries.\n\nThis is why I'm confused. I understand that many of these things are normal for friendships, buy I can never shake the feeling we have a connection. Am I being mislead, am I simply blind, is she just trying to be my friend and I'm hopelessly complicating the situation? I can't tell anymore, and I can't really seek clarity with her because those kind of conversations are like smoking on a powder keg, and at the end of the day, I don't a row.", "summary": "old flame and longtime friend is back in my life, it confuses other relationship prospects, and I'm concerned I'll end up making a mess and hurting both of us."} {"id": "t3_20jy4y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25m] just broke it off with my gf [27f] after 1.25 years. I don't know how to feel.", "post": "We always had problems, even during the honeymoon phase and i'm the only person who didn't see it. Well my eyes are open now and my gf has done a lot of things to suggest that she's using me. Such as, i won't move to NOLA for you, but i'll move to Seattle so \"I can start a new life\". Good luck with that. I couldn't even imagine starting a new life with her. \n\nI feel like i'm worth less to her than a dog. If i'm not doing exactly what she wants me to do, she's just pouty and immature about it. If i try to be myself, she ends up mad at me so easily. Very intolerant. Well I'm not changing who I am just to keep her happy. I broke it off last night and it hurts so bad, but it's also relieving. She definitely wasn't the one. \n\nI'm just... not sure... that i have the strength to not go back. My brain is really good at talking me into it...", "summary": "Needed to vent about how my gf was bringing me down and using me. Broke it off last night and unsure how i feel."} {"id": "t3_1rxtcj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [21 F] go about telling my parents / family that I do not want children...?", "post": "Hi Reddit!\nThis is the first time I've posted in r/relationships...And I was hoping you guys could give me a little insight as it seems you guys have good advice.\n\nOk so, a little background first...I'm an only child and even though I'm 21, I know I do not want kids...\n\nThis is mainly because of health issues that I know I have / have had in the past that are hereditary.\nBut it is also because I just don't want kids. I don't think I'd be the best mother for various other reasons and I'm completely content to spend my life with my boyfriend, also 21, without us having children together.\n(He also doesn't want kids.)\n\nMy biggest issue and the stress I'm having is based around that I'm an only child and I know that hearing that I, my parents only kid together, don't want to have kids is going to be hard for my family, especially my Dad, to hear...\n\nSo my question is this: \nIs there any way to make this information easier for them?\nHow should I even go about telling them?\n\n(I never really talked in depth with them about having or not having kids, I've always guessed they assumed / hoped that I would have kids in the future based on how they talked about the subject when it was brought up by other family members.)\n\nAlso, if it's worth mentioning, my parents have been divorced for years and my Mom is remarried / my Dad has a girlfriend...So the two of them having another kid together is pretty impossible. Haha.", "summary": "I don't want kids and I'm an only child, how should I go about telling my parents / family, specifically my Dad, without upsetting them...?"} {"id": "t3_2pz4gw", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[23/M] My GF [22] says her newfound independence means we may need a break...", "post": "Hey all. I'm crazy confused and would appreciate any help I could get. Never posted before, but I figured it couldn't hurt!\n\nOkay gf (22) and I (M 23) have been dating for 3 years. We've done long distance a couple times for summer breaks in college. But now we have graduated and she is pursuing grad school and I am working pretty far away.\n\nWe have had almost zero problems in our relationship. Everything has been going fine. We haven't been doing great the last 2-3 staying in touch as we both had major exams for a long time.\n\nOut of the blue my gf called me and said that she has really grown during our time apart. More confident, more independent, and happier. She says that she doesn't miss me ALL the time like she used to. (which I think is healthy)\n\nShe says that she still loves me but wonder what a break would do for her. She doesn't want to see other people. She just wonders if it would help her grow even more. And she worries that this independence she is feeling is a sign of us growing apart.\n\nI'm trying to be supportive, she has always been shy and quiet. I am so happy she feels more confident, but I just don't know what else to say. I would love some help! Much appreciated!", "summary": "Our long distance has caused GF to feel more independent and happy. She is worried this is a sign of us growing apart. Possible 'break' incoming?"} {"id": "t3_4kf8a2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30F] with my neighbor [60s M] of 1 year, he tells me that I can't park in my driveway.", "post": "So I've been living in my rental apartment for about a year. We have 4 parking spots, my downstairs neighbors have 2 spots, and my husband and I have 2 spots. The only downside is that our spots are surrounded by a wall that diagonally cuts through the driveway so our spaces are a little tighter, and my car juts out right before the actual street. \n\nToday my elderly neighbor Mr. Grumpy tells me as I am getting out of my car that I am parking illegally because I am blocking the sidewalk and also ruining his \"view\". I told him that I didn't know that was a problem because there isn't an actual sidewalk that cuts through our driveway (although there is in front of his house). \n\nI'm pretty annoyed because while technically he may be correct, there are dozens of cars on our street that park half of their car **on** the actual sidewalk. Also he waited almost a year to tell me this was an issue. I'm not sure what to do at this point. My husband said I should ignore him since it's not his property. Should I tell him if he has a problem he should call the city and have all the cars ticketed then?", "summary": "My neighbor is grumpy about where I park my car, even though my landlord said I could park there. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_4kb54n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Would it look pathetic if I [24/F] removed my ex boyfriend [26/M] from social media after 4 years?", "post": "Over 4 years ago I broke up with my lazy free loading ex boyfriend. We had dated for a year and during that time he had cheated on me with multiple women (maybe 8-10 girls?) Once finding out, I of course immediately left. After that I would still see him at mutual friends birthday parties and events. My anger towards him lingered because I would have to see his face and he would always approach me and brag about his life. I know he was trying to one-up me because he would see through social media all the things I was achieving in my personal life. This only made him more angry and he started making rumors of my new boyfriend whom I've now been with almost 4 years. \n\nAnyways, this past year I have not attended any events and have instead taken my friends out privately to lunch or dinner for their birthdays. Since my ex hasn't seen me in a year he has decided to try and one up me on social media. I honestly cannot express just how immature and spiteful this guy is. I should have deleted him off social media a long time ago, but now I feel like it will look pathetic on my part to do so.", "summary": "Would it look pathetic if I [24/F] removed my ex boyfriend [26/M] from social media after 4 years?"} {"id": "t3_3bktrf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[F24] I cheated on my boyfriend [M32] of 3 years with my coworker [M29].", "post": "I had a threesome with my coworker (we'll call Travis) and a close friend of mine [F21] about two years in to my relationship with my boyfriend (we'll call Sam) and kept it a secret. \n\nAfter that, Travis and I kept drunkenly hooking up sporadically over the past year. Most of those hook ups would be after a night of drinking with our other coworkers and he'd bring me back to his house and we'd have sex. \n\nI broke it off for a couple of months and then we started up again. All the while, I never said anything to Sam.\n\nEventually, Travis and I started having a semblance of feelings for each other, he more than me (ie he would ask me out to dinner or ask me when he could properly take me out and I would leave as soon as I could or just kind of dodge the question) and so I stopped it once and for all - hooray!\n\nI still have to be on talking terms with Travis (he's a decent person and I still work with them) but he's not talking to me. Also Sam is none the wise but Sam and I are getting more serious in our relationship and I think he's the person I want to marry.\n\nWhat do I do?", "summary": "I had some drunken hookups with a coworker over the past year until it got weird. I never told my boyfriend. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3ocfag", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30F] with my \"friend\" [36F] of one year - the most tumultuous relationship I have ever experienced", "post": "Everything aside, I love and care for this person. That said, she has hurt me so much, lashed out, said one thing in the morning, another in the afternoon, and back to the first statement in the evening. It is a roller coaster.\n\nThe final straw seems to have happened, though it also has happened before. \n\nA mutual friend was coming up to visit, and I had offered my place to them a while ago. They seemed happy about it, so I didn't think to mention it to my friend. When I did say \"oh, so-and-so is going to crash at my place,\" it was like I had lied to her deeply. We admittedly spend a lot of time together at her place, and she said it just made more sense for him to stay there. Then she started to say I had some kind of unconscious thing going on, and was lying to myself. In my mind, I had offered a friend a place to sleep, and didn't want to back out of what I had said.\n\nUltimately I did. She told me to get out of her life, out of her space, that I was swarming around her and her life, invading her circle of friends (which she had invited me into), and it felt gross. Called me manipulative and controlling (I admit I can be controlling, and try to mitigate it as much as possible). \n\nAll of the events and hangouts that were happening this weekend, I have removed myself from (which I'm bummed about), and have had to cancel with lots of friends. I hate this. She told me she feels frightened of seeing me, and feels unsafe around me.\n\nThe last several times she has lashed out and said she wanted me out of her life I have respected it fully, not reached out, and severed ties. Then, within a week, she would reach out and want to repair things. It hurts so much, and I want the pain to stop.", "summary": "Friend got beyond mad at me, wants me out of life; why does it hurt when it is the best choice? How do I not internalize all the things said?"} {"id": "t3_2znl16", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17 M] love her [16 F], but I'm not happy anymore.", "post": "Hello everyone. Please don't make our young age change how you view this post. Me and my girlfriend are together for 9 months now, I love her, I truly do, and I know for sure she loves me as well. This relationship started really well, had its ups and downs, but everything was going nicely, we even traveled together for three weeks. But when we got back from our trip, I found myself feeling very stressed out, and just not happy with this relationship like I used to be. She is very needy, and I end up never texting her as much as she expects, even though I try my best (I'm not very talkative). I feel like if I'm by myself at my room doing anything other than talking to her, she will feel bad and insecure. She already told me she needs my constant attention, and it seems like an attention I will never be able to give her. \n\nWe pretty much only see each other on weekends, and we don't see each other as frequently as we used to. It is very stressing and difficult to try to balance my girlfriend and my friends, I feel like I will have to end up disappointing someone. We have been discussing/fighting a lot recently, this has been the case for the past three days. On Tuesday we were talking and she suddenly complained about how I haven't asked about her day recently, which makes her feel like I'm not interested in her. Yesterday she was very stressed out about tests and such, and she ended up getting mad at me for that I guess. Today was the worst. Last week she said that \"next weekend (this weekend) I'm all hers\". With this, she meant that we were going be together for the whole weekend, I didn't understand it like that. I made plans with my friends for Friday, and today, one day before the weekend, she asks me why I didn't plan anything for tomorrow. She is now REALLY mad at me for not going out with her tomorrow. Am I that wrong for making plans with my friends for tomorrow? \n\nI love her so much, I am very afraid of losing her, but this relationship doesn't make me happy anymore, I am very stressed out.", "summary": "Girlfriend is very needy, I feel like I can't give her the attention she needs, relationship is not making me happy anymore, everything stresses me out so much... I love her and don't want to lose her, though."} {"id": "t3_33wqth", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18 F] good friend [18 F] has gone and got the same tattoo design that I've wanted for years", "post": "My friend in question and I have always been interested in getting tattoos, and over the past few years have had multiple discussions about ideas of what we would get. Throughout all of these, I have always said to her about one specific tattoo I have wanted and (still am) definitely going to get. It's quite a generic design, however it has a lot of personal meaning to me. \n\nA couple of days ago, with no warning whatsoever, she showed up with the exact same design on her index finger.\n\nI was very surprised and quite upset, but when I communicated my feelings to her she got very annoyed.\n\n Her argument was that you cannot monopolise a tattoo, that it's a rather common design and that regardless of appearance tattoos have different meanings for everyone. I fully understand that, however I feel that there are an infinite number of other designs you could get to express yourself. Furthermore, even if she was absolutely dead set on this one that she could've had the respect to tell me, knowing how long I've wanted this for and how much meaning it has to me? \n\nI realise that there is nothing I can do now, considering that it's permanently on her skin, but do I have any right to be upset/annoyed?", "summary": "My friend has turned up, without warning, with the same tattoo design that she knows I have wanted for years, do I have the right to be upset?"} {"id": "t3_29cjdx", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "This girl", "post": "So this may not be of life threatening urgency but I feel I need to get this out anyway I can or my head is going to explode. So I'm a 17 year old male, and I think I'm starting to fall in love with this girl I've known for about 3-4 years. She recently broke up with her off-again-on-again boyfriend of 2 years, and recently has started being a lot more friendly towards me, and a lot more enthusiastic about me. (I know its a terrible way to put it but it fits surprisingly pretty well.) I know I'm probably just misreading signals or straight up imagining signals that never existed, but I can never fully push them out of my head in case they actually mean something. Normally something like this wouldn't get to me so much, if I ever start liking a girl I usually try my best, get rejected (or not, but I usually do) and move on. This time is different though, firstly because I've never felt this strongly about someone before (my heart feels like its about to burst out of my chest when I talk to her) and secondly because I know no matter how hard I try the chances of us actually getting together are so slim they're practically non-existent, and that this is going to spend weeks crushing me emotionally. I'm not asking for advice although any and all will be greatly appreciated. I'll keep this updated if it gets any kind of attention but I'm pretty new to reddit and I doubt my first post will get much notice. Thanks for reading about my teenage troubles.", "summary": "I'm falling in love with a girl I'm friends with and the knowledge that the chances of us ever happening are minuscule is crushing me."} {"id": "t3_yy46s", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Hurt..Emotionally and slightly physically..I'm Lost.", "post": "My boyfriend[22] hurts me[21]. (together for almost a year) Usually just mentally, and occasionally physically. I'm scared to leave. I don't know how to leave him without getting hurt. I need serious help. I don't know what details to share...I'm scared. I don't remember what I've posted before but I'm being 100% honest now. I'm afraid he is going to hurt me if I leave.. I drink to make it(physical/emotional abuse) hurt less. What do I do?! Help me please. I am drunk right now and he's not here at the moment...Idk when he's coming back home. I don't know where he is right now... Help someone please.\nI think I need more someone who's been there to talk to me more than people just telling me what to do. It's a hard situation right now. I've told people, but with connections he has to other people.. it could hurt more than just me by getting others involved.", "summary": "Emotionally and phsycially abusive boyfriend. I don't know how to get away without getting hurt. I'm scared, and I'm drunk as much as possible to buffer the pain."} {"id": "t3_4ftgyf", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Saving up for MBA - Cash or Equity", "post": "I'm 2 years into my career in finance right now, and am planning to get my MBA in 4-5 years from now. I'm most likely looking to go full time for it.\n\nI've been maxing out my 401k contributions and am purchasing stocks through our share matching plan as well. \n\nI'm not entirely sure how I'll be financing my MBA, but I know I want to have a good sum of money saved up for when I do go. I've been putting away $500/month into a savings account. When I get a raise, I'm going to try to put even more away per month for it. My question is, should I just leave the cash I'm saving in my savings account, or should I be putting it into the stock market?", "summary": "I'm putting away cash to be used in the 4-5 year time frame. Should I be keeping my cash in my savings account, or should I be investing it somewhere?"} {"id": "t3_5451dp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my GF [22 F] duration, how to convince from taking diet pills without insulting her?", "post": "As far as I know, I've never insinuated she's fat, but I've jokingly said things like \"you'll never be fat enough for me\" to change her view on what ppl consider the ideal girlfriend. She's doing buying diet pills so she can be the weight she used to be before she met me. The function of the diet pills is to curve hunger, but she says it makes her even hungrier. I've said she doesn't need to, and she can lose weight naturally while I help her. Eating healthy with almond snacks and exercise. Not that she doesn't exercise but she loves Dim Sum.", "summary": "Girlfriend bought a bunch of diet pills that I don't support, how to stop her from continuing on an unnatural path for weight loss?"} {"id": "t3_3wawrx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being a cheating piece of shit.", "post": "So, it's not exactly the cheating as in \" I cheated on my girlfriend\" kind of way, but more as in \"Dude, show me your answers!\" Way.\n\nSo a little backstory.\nI am a sophomore currently but due to a complicated few years I had lost ways to talk to others my age and got anxiety whenever I was spoken too. No, I'm not going to self diagnose, but long story short I realized that being in public school was not so much an option for me any longer.\n\nHere's the Fuck up,\nthis year (3 almost 4 months so far) I've taken the questions on my school and just posted them ( or copy and pasted into the search bar) and had found answers to the problem without reading the lesson nor the question. Now I have done this to the point where in my Geometry...I honestly have no idea what is happening any longer. I look at the questions now a days and it's just a scramble for me to understand.", "summary": "Cheated on my school work for so long, kinda fucked myself over and don't know how to do 10th Grade math at all."} {"id": "t3_514jgv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 M] met someone [21 F]. She has a boyfriend, and I'm inexperienced with how to not interfere.", "post": "We're both university students, and I don't have a lot of experience being more than acquaintances with people. I'm adept at being pleasant with people who I find myself around, but I have only a few close friends, and all of them are men.\n\nI met this woman in a shared class, asked her to get coffee with me, and hung out with her for a few hours following. We talked about a lot of things, and we seem to have lots in common: literature, thoughts on current events, thoughts on what's attractive in a relationship, humor, etc. We ended up hanging out the next day for an hour or two, as well, and she mentioned having an SO casually. \n\nI don't think I was flirting with her prior to this knowledge, but to be sure, I made sure not to talk about stuff that could be seen as inappropriate. We kept it to books, mostly. \n\nThe next day, a Saturday, she initiated hanging out, and we spent a few hours around town looking into bookstores and grabbing a quick bite for lunch before I had to go to work. \n\nI don't want to be presumptuous about her relationship, so even though she's mentioned a few negative things about him, I've been operating under the assumption that they have a healthy relationship. For the purposes of the advice I'm asking for, I'd like you to tell me how to proceed with that image in mind, unless there's something exceedingly obvious you see that I don't.\n\nHow should I go forward with this friendship? I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to date her, but I'm also completely capable of being her friend without doing so. My thought is that I should just continue getting to know her without straying into inappropriate territory, but I don't have experience with this sort of situation, so I'd appreciate the help.", "summary": "Met a girl, we hit it off, she's in a relationship, I'm inexperienced with these sorts of things, is continuing to befriend her the best option?"} {"id": "t3_3l4z5y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20m] girlfriend [20f] broke up with me because I said I'm attracted to my male roommate while drunk", "post": "We've been together for 6 months. It hasn't been the easiest relationship, she's working through a lot of her issues.\n\nLast night, I had about 6 drinks. I called her, we had a pretty normal conversation. However, at some point things got pretty fuzzy. I don't remember how it came up or why I said it, but I told her I'm sexually attracted to one of my male roommates. I don't even know if I am. I barely remember what else happened, but she got really upset and I think she broke up with me. She told me I hadn't been honest with her. I don't remember what else was said by either of us. We haven't been in contact since last night.\n\nI don't know what to do about this. The thing is, she's known since before we were in a relationship that I might be bisexual. Also, she is bisexual herself, so I don't know what the problem is.\n\nAny advice is greatly appreciated.", "summary": "Girlfriend broke up with me because I got drunk and told her I'm attracted to one of my male roommates."} {"id": "t3_1janzm", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, How do you get past feelings for a previous SO? (Details in the comments)", "post": "I'm a 22M who got out of a 3+ year relationship last December and I've been working/going to school/dating to try to get my mind off my previous relationship. Despite my best efforts I still think of my previous SO and sometimes even miss her (even though I was the one that broke things off). At the time I decided that we should stop dating I was 100% sure of my decision and knew that the relationship we had was unhealthy for both of us. Still, I find myself missing the communication and friendship that we had. Right now we don't live anywhere near each other due to school and we haven't had any form of contact for the past 7 months. I know that talking to her will just open up a can of worms and make things between us even worse, so I want to know. What would you do or what have you done in your past to get on with your life?\n\nTo make things clear: I don't have any intention of ever getting back together with my ex. As I said above my decision, to end things between us, was based on the fact that our romantic relationship between us was unhealthy.", "summary": "Been out of a 3+ year relationship and still have feelings for my ex. Any ideas on how to move on?"} {"id": "t3_e7zcl", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is there a way to run mac programs on a pc??", "post": "I figured you guys would know. I have an 08 Sony vaio with vista (blech) and really really want to download gamesalad to create iPhone games (Its a dream, perhaps misguided, of mine to create games and this seems like an ideal first step, my brain has been racing with ideas for games since I discovered this program the other day and no bs have been drinking nyquil so I stop popping up and writing down more ideas, for example: an Italian plumber who battles a dinosaur for a blonde monarch who can't hire security!!) and it only runs on mac, so is there a way to either install the new os for mac on my piece or maybe just get a program to run that on my comp??", "summary": "can I either dl macs new os on my vaio vista laptop or run it via some emulator? "} {"id": "t3_3fxv93", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] feel like I don't know how to talk to my SO [20F] any more", "post": "So, I've been with my SO, Katie, for 5 years, going on 6 this November and I feel like I don't know how to talk to her any more. Whenever we talk lately, our conversations just end up being about how work was that day, and then that's really it. I don't think it can be attributed to anything happening in our relationship, since we haven't fought about anything in a long while and there hasn't been anything that would seem to cause any kind of distance between us.\n\nI'm not sure if it's a problem in our relationship, or if it's just me not knowing how to carry a conversation. I really want to be able to talk to her, but on the same hand I don't really know *what* to talk to her about. \n\nSo I guess what I'm asking is not only how do I talk to her, but what exactly do couples \"normally\" talk about?", "summary": "Don't know how to talk to my SO, not sure if it's a relationship problem or me not being able to talk to people.d"} {"id": "t3_1a2m8c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to help my friend who had licence suspended?", "post": "Hi, \n\nMy friend John (32 M) was on his way to visit me today when he was caught out by a random breath test. He had his licence suspended for 3 months and also has a court date. I feel guilty because a) he was coming to visit me and b) the alcohol in his blood would have been from yesterday when he went to a friend of his house and had whisky that I had given him as a thank you present that afternoon.\n\nHe is a fantastic guy, and this is going to cause so much headache for him in terms of being able to go to and from work etc.\n\nI am in a financial situation where I would be able to help him out and I really want to help him out somehow. This is not just because of my own guilt! I really just want to help because I am a situation where I can.\nThe problem is that he is a real gentleman and would be unlikely to willingly accept my help. He is generally not the type of person that would accept help easily. I was thinking of sending him an anonymous card with enough money to cover a taxi trip a day for 90 days. That seems a bit silly though?\n\nIs there any other way to help him out or should I just let it be?\n\nAlso just for background we dated last year. Things got complicated with my ex at the time, but me and John remain good friends.\n\nSorry if this seems like a strange question. I just don't have many friends and am not very good at knowing the right thing to do in social situations like this.", "summary": "My friend had his licence suspended. I really want to help out, but don't know how. Or if it is even appropriate?"} {"id": "t3_1u18wp", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [18f] just got dumped by my [18m] boyfriend. Unsure of gift protocol.", "post": "Recently my boyfriend of 3 months dumped me, pretty much out of the blue. Long story short, our relationship ended amicably despite our feelings about the relationship not being mutual (I wanted to make things work, but he wanted to just remain friends). We exchanged Christmas presents the same day we broke up. I got him a few things that matched up with his interests, and he gave me a nice bracelet. He made sure to emphasize that he bought this awhile back, presumably before he started drifting away from the relationship.\n\nThe pamphlet that came with the bracelet said that it was made of precious, authentic gemstones and is often given to another person as a declaration of \"unconditional love\". As I'm sure you can imagine, I cannot find it in my heart to keep this bracelet. Whenever I look at it, I am reminded of the love I felt (and still feel) for him, and I am also reminded that this bracelet was given to me under circumstances that no longer apply. It hurts. I'm pretty sure I'm never going to wear it for this very reason, so it'll go to waste as long as it's sitting here in my room. I want to mail it back to him.\n\nI realize it's rude to return a gift, but I just don't think it'll be good for me to keep it. As it is, I'm implementing the \"no contact\" rule so I can have time to process and move on. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I know that keeping it around will not only give me a false sense of hope, but will also deny him the chance to give the bracelet to someone truly special. I plan on sending the gift back with a letter explaining why I couldn't accept it, so hopefully he will understand why I had to do this. If possible, I'd like to do this in a way that will not harm our chances of remaining amiable acquaintances.", "summary": "My ex-boyfriend gave me a romantic gift the very same day he broke up with me. Am I wrong for wanting to send it back? What would be the least drama-filled way to send it back?"} {"id": "t3_3rttlm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21/M] don't know what to do about my Brother [24/M] and his fiance's [26/f] marijuana abuse.", "post": "Throw away because my Brother and some of his friends are redditors, and I don't really want him seeing this unless I choose to show him. \n\nMy Brother has been using for a long time, basically since he was 17 or so. It doesn't really affect our relationship too much, and he's able to hold down a job, so he seems to have that all sorted. Mostly what's concerning me is that both he and his Fiance seem to be permanently intoxicated. All hours of the day and night. One of the kickers being that he has trouble sleeping, and his Doctor has told him laying off for a little while might help. My main concern, however, that his relationship with his Fiance seems to be almost entirely defined by the fact that they smoke as much as each other. They do both love to cook, but most of the time they spend together seems to be spent getting high and watching T.V. They've been smoking ever increasing amounts since they met around 3 years ago, and I'm worried what their relationship will/would be like if one or both of them had to quit using. I don't think it's sustainable. So both my parents and I have suggested taking a break from it for 1-3 months, and seeing what happens. His response was pretty dismissive, saying he knows he can stop any time, he just doesn't want to. Should I even be concerned? Their relationship isn't really my business, except that I want him to be happy. The thing that really gets me is that if it was the same situation, except with alcohol, no one would deny there is a big problem. The way I see it, they're kind of like high functioning alcoholics. (Though obviously with weed.)", "summary": "Brother and Fiance use an ungodly amount of weed, I'm not sure what their relationship is like without it. Is there anything I can/should do?"} {"id": "t3_43v5f6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] and my girlfriend [20 F] of two and a half years, broke up in December. I keep making myself sad by purposely thinking about her. Is this normal?", "post": "We broke up on December 17, 2015. \n\nAfter the break-up, I realized just how much she meant to me. I love her, and am still in love with her. She's moved on (She had another guy over at her place on December 18th...)\n\nIt was tough, but I mostly got over it. For the past 2 weeks, however, I've realized I enjoy listening to songs that remind me of her. Songs that are related to love and such (Think Taylor Swift, 1989). I've realized that I'm definitely not over her. I still love her.\n\nMy question is why do I enjoy making myself sad by thinking about her? Is this normal? Has anyone else ever experienced this? I find myself going out for walks just so I can listen to songs which bring back all of the old memories... Why?", "summary": "I keep listening to sad songs which remind me of my ex, who I'm still in love with. I apparently like doing this to myself?"} {"id": "t3_qdtv9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Break up or open relationship?", "post": "Me-20, him 23. Dating for a year. We're both in college and we were just about to move in together this summer. Unfortunately some hidden events during our relationship are coming up. There have been four instances where he's been unfaithful. They go as follows:\n1. When we started dating he left out the fact that he was still dating his last girlfriend. \n2. He sexted with two of his exes a few months into our relationship after we had established our relationship boundaries about that sort of thing.\n3. He slept with one of his exes over our winter break from college (which I just found out about)\n4. He used his own money to recently purchase some sex toys for another ex.\n\nI'm at my wits end here. I love this guy a lot and other than those things he really is a great boyfriend. I'm asking you all if an open relationship would solve these issues or if I should just call it quits. I'm just so tired of having my trust broken again and again.\nWhat do?", "summary": "Boyfriend of a year won't stop cheating, would an open relationship get this out of his system so we can be committed later?"} {"id": "t3_pfoy7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is it okay for people with an illness to request donations from other sufferers?", "post": "**Back Story**\n\nI have a nerve disease referred to as [RSD or CRPS.] I was diagnosed at 15 and it is a pretty shitty disease. One highly touted (experimental) treatment for the disease is a [ketamine coma.] When my case was at its most acute, my family tried to get me to Germany to receive the treatment. They couldn't afford it. It is EXPENSIVE.\n\nA RSD/CRPS Support Page on facebook just linked to another woman's [webpage] plea for donations. Of course, I understand WHY she needs to raise the money. \n\nHowever, is it wrong of me to think her horribly self-involved? I'm in debt over my own (non-experimental) treatments. And I do understand that not only those afflicted with CRPS are part of the support page, but they're usually friends and family of those who are.\n\nThe thing that bothered me the post was this quote from her page, **\"Please allow me the opportunity to get my life back. You are my only hope; let me be your victory!\"**\n\nSeemingly innocuous, but the first thing I thought was, \"Bitch, I want to be my own victory.\"\n\nSo tell me Reddit...am I overreacting to a suffering woman's plea for help, or was she out of line to (appear to) put her case above the rest of us?", "summary": "Sick and suffering woman asking other sick and suffering people and their families for money for her treatments. I'm upset at her audacity to do so. Who is the bitch here?"} {"id": "t3_susjt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, my sister's prom is in two days and her dress has been ruined. She is extremely upset, I am trying to find a new dress, but so far I haven't had any luck. Does anyone have any ideas for a low cost, quick, but nice prom dress so her night isn't ruined?", "post": "As the title suggests, my little sister's prom dress was basically destroyed. it had been fitted, color coordinated...you know the whole shebang. When the dress maker finally shipped it out to us with the alterations it was basically in tatters. The woman who runs the shop says it must have happened in shipping, I really have no idea. All I know now is that my little sister is crying and I need to try to find a solution to her problem. \n\nWe spent almost all day out looking for dresses with no luck, dresses either did not fit her or were way too expensive for me, I already sunk a lot of money into the first dress (more than I should have in the first place), and while I'll be getting a refund my funds are now extremely limited. I'm out of ideas. I've looked into rental (slim pickings), craigslist (kind of eww, but when you're desperate you are desperate), and I'm out of conceivable options. My last chance is driving two hours out to the larger metropolitan area to hopefully find something worthwhile.\n\nI'm a guy who frankly knows next to nothing about dresses, fitting, alterations any of that jazz; and I'm pretty much the only one around to help her. (God help her...right?) I don't know if this is the right place for this or if you guys can even help me, but I'm desperate.", "summary": "I'm a guy who knows nothing about dresses, but I have to find my sister a replacement dress in two days. I have no idea where to find a suitable one"} {"id": "t3_1gscef", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Negotating pay rise/better conditions in current job - how to do it, what tips?", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nI work 30 hours a week, for which I'm paid at around the going rate.\n\nI have a job on the side, which I'm allowed to do when I take holiday from my work.\n\nMy contact is up for renewal in August, and though the employer is happy with me, they'd be 'grateful' if I reduced or rescheduled my stuff-on-the-side to times that suit them better (which is pretty much impossible).\n\nI've planned a meeting with my Area Manager in July to discuss this and to try and find a solution.\n\nIdeally, I'd be very happy to stop my stuff-on-the-side, but as this would leave me around \u20ac4k a year worse off, I'd like to negotiate something better in exchange - an extra \u20ac300 a month, or something of similar value would be more than adequate.\n\nI'd appreciate tips on strategy about how to achieve this\u2026 and am sure that the kind and wise folk on self.jobs can help me in my goal!", "summary": "Looking for more money from my boss in exchange for giving up other lucrative work I do in my free time, appreciate tips on how to approach this without coming across as an arsehole (US: Asshole)"} {"id": "t3_15omek", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(22/m) needing to break up with a Co-Worker(21/f) gently!", "post": "Long time Reddit Lurker/First time poster (who'd thunk it would be here lol). \n\nBasically as the title states but here is the back story:\n\nStarted talking to a gal from another department about 2 weeks ago (12/12/12 to be exact) and we quickly started dating. I noticed her a few months ago and always thought she was really pretty and looked sweet/innocent. We start talking, go on a few dates, and then quickly wind up in bed, a few times. So now we're dating...so she says...even changed her Facebook Relationship status too, even though I have not done the same.\n\nWell now she is getting promoted to my department making this an HR issue/something that has to be kept a secret (which it has been from the start). I've had issues in the past dating people from work that are a part of the same team and it always blows up into an HR problem! Especially if you tried to hide it for too long because someone always finds out. \n\nAside from that though I've now decided I see no future with this girl. We are completely different in ways I cannot overcome and instead of prolonging the inevitable, I'd like to end it now and save us both the trouble. \n\n*MY QUESTION:* How do I do this, without completely destroying the work environment/her perspective of me as a person?", "summary": "Started dating girl, girl joins my team at work, no longer like girl, need to breakup without work being too awkward."} {"id": "t3_4xsps8", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Honestly, I have no idea what I should be doing", "post": "I'm scared to all Hell about what I should be doing right and what I shouldn't be doing at all. I'm a 17F and I'm about to turn 18, I have a job at an ice cream shop that might be giving me carpal tunnel, screwed up my chances of getting an AA during high school due to a lot of my own insecurities and personal relationship issues, I think I'm slowly starting to lose someone who means nothing but the world to me because I'm really insecure and I just blurt sad things or mean things about myself without realizing it and I think he's getting sick of it.\n\nI've been having a lot of issues involving my depression and anxiety, it kicks in after a certain time of night and gets worse in the Spring especially but all around I am nothing but a stress ball that just keeps bouncing up and down. My hair started falling out (it's fixed now!!! three months later there are only a few strands coming out!) and i started to dissociate myself with what's going on lately. I've been trying to fix things with people who've done me wrong or I've done wrong just so I can find peace but all I'm finding is bad memories and now I have nightmares and I couldn't sleep for a few days and starting falling asleep at the wheel where I almost hit a telephone pole. \n\nI need advice. I need guidance. My counselors have tried pointing me at colleges and what path I should take but when I pursue it doesn't feel right. I don't feel right about anything.\n\nI honestly want to cry 90% of the time and he's dealt with me being like this for nearly three years.", "summary": "i feel terrible a lot and i've very insecure mostly due to a previous abusive relationship and i dug myself into a academic grave and have no idea what to do anymore and my anxiety is coming back and im pretty scared lol"} {"id": "t3_1twdzf", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [29f] left my SO [28f] and feel like a terrible human being", "post": "I'll try to keep this short. I was together with her for 6 years. It was a really shitty 6 years for me. She has A LOT of psychological issues. Was unemployed, can't show love, hates to cuddle... this list goes on. Basically, I gave her everything and she improved a lot, now she is in therapy, has a job and doesn't completely freak out when someone touches her. I feel we made real progress and we both grew as humans through this relationship.\nHowever, I am moving for a job out of the country. and I know this relationship will not work out being so far apart. She is not that far to keep a relationship healthy on that distance. i don't hold it against her, I really do not. Also I tend to get really really jealous (ramains as my previous guy cheated on me and she did in the first year but never since, I am not proud of it). I am just convinced that it will not work out and when I spoke to her, she agreed. So we broke off and decided to stay good friends, since I am also her main source of trust. Now we have this awkward relationship where we discuss really really intimate things and I know she feels terrible although she plays fine (I learned to read her subtext). And I feel horrible like I left her alone and I also still love her. To make everything worse a good friend is hitting on me and thinks now is his chance. I'm sexually frustrated because I have not had sex in years (due to her condition) but I am still emotionally attached to my last SO. On top of moving, getting to the new job, finishing my degree and stuff, I kind of lost track on everything. Help?", "summary": "Had a SO with psychological issues. Worked on it together. Left her because I am moving and it is draining me. Feel like I failed her. I am a horrible friend and wife."} {"id": "t3_2g4eon", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[25F] [30M] Broken up 7 months after 3.5 year relationship: Still Shattered", "post": "So, I met my ex literally the day I moved out of my mother's house. He lived in the same building as me, and we became close friends who went on sporadic dates. He was in the navy, so I was hesitant to initiate anything serious. \n\nFF 2.5 years of staying in touch and having a great time that ends in passionate kissing almost every time we hang out, despite having moved several states away. We get together. Relationship is great. Really great for about 2 years. \n\nWe had moved in together. We started having really bad money issues when a lot of career things didn't really work out. Over the course of the next 1.5 years, we both had to drop out of school to start working jobs we didn't love. We also attempted an open relationship that was ridden with jealousy. Things got tense and bad and sad and sometimes volatile. We broke up. \n\n7 months ago he moved out of our shared apartment. I've thrown myself into hobbies, the gym, friends: all of the things. My friends tell me I'm doing great--I'm passionate and gorgeous and all of these great things. I've been going on dates.\n\nBUT. I think about him all the time. I miss him all the time. Things happen in my life and I want to share them with him. I can't seem to truly believe in connecting to any of the people I've been on dates with. 7 months seems like a long time. Am I rushing myself? Do I just keep marching forward and hope more time will mend me? Is there a point at which you decide you really just want your relationship to work and try again?", "summary": "I've been doing all of the reddit break up protocol of staying busy, fit and full of hobbies--when do I get to start feeling better?"} {"id": "t3_3nlhtu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "So I [18M] have been growing distant with my gf[21F] and I'm getting feelings for her cousin[16F].", "post": "I know guys. This is a pretty fucked up situation.\nI've been with my gf for about one year and things were going okay, but a few months ago I started losing interest because I'm feeling very unfulfilled with our communication and ambitions.\nAnd I've been contemplating breaking up with her for those few months and I'm having trouble finding the right way to do it. But a month ago she brought me to a family gathering where I met her cousin and we immediately hit it off, same taste in music, books, movies, TV, art, ideals, philosophy and ambitions. And we've been talking online almost everyday since then.\nI'm pretty sure she likes me and I know I like her a lot. And she knows that I've been going through stuff with my gf and she told me last night that she thinks that I talk to her too much when I should be talking to my gf to try to work things out and she doesn't want to be a contributing factor if I and my gf break up.\nWhich I totally understand but I'm just having trouble on what I should do now.\nI'm not happy with my current relationship and I want to break up but she is very attached to me so I can't figure out a way to let her off softly and I know if I make her heartbroken then there is no way I can continue any sort of relationship with her cousin.\nPart of me says I need to walk away from the whole thing. But I have a real connection with her cousin so I don't want to. Halp plz.", "summary": "I have a crush on my gf's cousin. I want to break up with my girlfriend for many reasons but I don't know how to do it without hurting her."} {"id": "t3_r59sx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I kinda just screwed it up with a girl, by saying I'm not a DJ who takes advantage of drunk chicks. what do I do?", "post": "Hey there Reddit., \n\nWell last night a group of girls and I were playing truth or dare. The girl I'm really interested in is is the group. And \"somehow\" the topic of virginity came up. I just happened to ask who still is. They said only one of the girls in the room (not the one I am interested in.) I was fine with it, but I had to speak up and say that I was still one. \n\nThey all kinda all looked at me all surprised. Because before I had moved I was a house DJ at a bar, and I would always have chicks all over the place. I told them I'm not one of those guys. I don't take advantage of girls, especially if they're drunk. \n\nI am kinda socially awkward when it comes to girls, I can never seal the deal. But when it comes when I DJ, I'm a beast! I flirt with every chick in the bar. Buy them drinks and all that. End up making out with them, but I've never slept with any of them. \n\nBut because of that, I feel like I have worked backwards with what I was trying to go at. She did kinda seem like she was turned off, but it was late. I just have a horrible feeling about it. She's a pretty calm girl, but I have heard girls often don't like being guys first, Help me out please!", "summary": "I'm a virgin DJ who doesn't take advantage of drunk chicks, because of that, I feel I turned off a chick."} {"id": "t3_r1liw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend and I don't sleep in the same room anymore. Is this a bad sign?", "post": "Hey guys, I'm 20 and she is 21 and we've been dating for over 1 1/2 years. We've also been living together for around 9 months.\n\nFor the past few months, we've been sleeping in different rooms. It started when we first moved into our new apartment. The circulation is bad and it gets really mucky and hot in our bed and so for the first few months, she would wake up in the middle of the night and have to go sleep on the futon.\n\nAs time progressed, we tried different ways to fix the situation. The maintenance people said there was nothing wrong with our AC, and then we tried moving to another room, but it was the same problem.\n\nFinally, I bought us a King Bed which helped a little with the heat, but I've also gained weight over the few months, and my girlfriend complains that my breathing and snoring are too loud for her to sleep with. \n\nSo now she sleeps on the futon and I sleep on the bed. \n\nI am wondering if this is really unhealthy. I feel like it is and i've talked to her about it and she says that it sucks, but she needs sleep. Also, her parents haven't slept in the same room for years, so I don't think she thinks its that un-normal.\n\nWhat do you guys think?", "summary": "Due to heat problems and me being a noisy sleeper, GF doesn't want to sleep in same room as me. Her parents don't sleep in the same room, so she doesn't think its that weird."} {"id": "t3_3dujg1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 M] with my best friend [29 M] are losing touch and I think his troubled marriage and wife's dislike of me is to blame.", "post": "My friend and I have been close since high school. We remain tight and text/e-mail every day. However, whenever I ask him to hang out on weekends, he always has an excuse. He usually ends up staying home all weekend with his wife. His wife and I used to get along well, but she's grown distant in recent years. She seems to dislike the fact that my wife and I are moving forward in our lives, while she remains stuck in a job she hates. Therefore, she never visits and has zero contact with my wife/myself.\n\nMy friend and his wife have been married for a few years, but their relationship seems unhealthy. She has bad anxiety and depression. She hates leaving the house and socializing with other people. She seems to resent all of my buddy's friends and I'm afraid she might be the reason why we don't hang out anymore. Her anxiety and depression have gotten to the point where she constantly tells my buddy that she hates her life, wishes she could just run away, wishes she was dead, etc. I've been concerned obviously and asked my friend whether she would seriously harm herself, but he assures me that it's all just talk that happens every time she's upset. I've encouraged him to: seek therapy on his own, suggest his wife seek therapy, go to couples therapy, but she refuses to get help and he doesn't seem to want to either.\n\nI'm feeling pretty lost. I love my best friend, but we're drifting apart. I'm *fine* if his wife doesn't want to be close with me or my wife, but I don't like that my buddy is losing touch now too. I'm not sure whether she doesn't like him leaving the house to spend time with me or if he feels guilty leaving her alone at home. I *don't* think he has anything personally against me because, as I said, we still text/e-mail all the time.\n\nHow should I approach this situation with my buddy?", "summary": "My best friend has become distant. I'm wondering if his rocky marriage is affecting our friendship since his wife doesn't seem to like me/my wife."} {"id": "t3_gtfq2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Three-Girl Dilemma Please Help", "post": "Alright, so just a little bit ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years (girl A), we were both each other's first major significant other. However, before I even started dating her, I was much more interested in one of her closest friends (girl B, who I am also pretty close friends with). \n\nThe only reason I didn't go for her in the first place is because her strange demeanor. She had never been with someone before, and still hasn't really been (other than a brief stint with one of my best friends, only further complicating things.) She is straight, but generally shows little interest in dating\n\nSo I dated this girl for 2 years, broke up just as we were going off to college, and all three of us (plus my good buddy that dated girl B for a month or so) went to the same college. We are all about 19 years of age.\n\nOn top of that, another close friend of both of these girls (girl C) started hanging out with us on campus when she went to a nearby college. I ended up drunkenly hooking up with her a few times, and now she is seriously interested in me... She's a nice girl, I like her, but I'm not really interested in her like that.\n\nBut I'm stuck, all the feelings I originally had for girl B (the ones that didn't leave) have come back. I tried to get out and meet new girls, with some success, but none of them really interested me as much.\n\nSo, Reddit, what should I do? Telling B how I feel could create a lot of problems, and has no guarantee of working especially given how loyal she is to her friends, and I could lose friends too. Should I settle with girl C? Or should I drop the whole thing and just try to walk away?", "summary": "I dated a girl for two years but always liked her close friend. Now a third friend of their's wants to be with me, but I'm still obsessed with the same girl. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_2qtlis", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by buying a phone", "post": "I just got a job, got a source of income. My first job, I'm 18. I am intelligent- you can't say this without appearing pompous- for my age, and usually avoid mistakes people make. But by believing this, I thought it was true, I never make the mistakes, which was the mistake in itself. I bought a $720 phone- I won't advertise anything, or endorse any product, without receiving money- and well.. I have it. Yes, it's sitting next to me charging as I type this, mocking me. See I already had a phone, but it was 2 generations old. I'm upgrading for the sake of upgrading. My aunt talked to me about this, decision. Bringing up the marshmellow experiment, long term gratification. I myself am a psychologist enthusiast, this resonated deep within me. She's right, I am the kid who just licked the marshmallow, holy fuck. But by realizing this poor decision, as I am a college student with debt accumulating. This was a horrible choice!! I am becoming a consumer, but it doesn't stop there. Now it's a phone, then it's a smart watch charger, then god forbid an ice-cream! I'm out of control, but get this. This was a chain reaction. By realizing this, I remember about GIRL ( no name, pseudonym). She was into me, but I didn't realize it, because I was an idiot. Now, it relates to this TIFU (well, it was 2 days ago, when I bought it) But I remembered the expression every poor person uses, \"Money doesn't buy happiness\" I agree, but it makes it easier. I was buying my happiness, I realized I was buying this phone for momentarily happiness. I will need more, tomorrow. God I realized this so young, before it got bad. I need to get back with GIRL, because I have a hole in my heart. Happiness, she will fulfill my desire, leaving me sane again.", "summary": "I just got my first job, spend paycheck immediately. Thinking I was better than americans spending money, I was doing the exact same thing, driving me into debt."} {"id": "t3_52yk5a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23f] new boyfriend [21m] is rooming with my ex-fiance [21m]... send help", "post": "For anonymity, I'll refer to my new bf as Jess and my ex as Dean.\n\nDean and I were together for five years, engaged for almost three. We broke up in March somewhat amicably (I'd known it was coming but didn't process it too well). I had minimal contact with him over the summer, during which time I started seeing Jess. Now I knew as early as last February that they would be rooming together this year (they're in college) but I'm having some trouble coping.\n\nDean has also moved on, and his new girlfriend \"Lindsey\" is everything I wish I could be: petite, beautiful, fit, active, not mentally ill. Now I want to emphasize that I do not want to get back together with Dean, but spending time with him and Lindsey is.. wildly uncomfortable for me. She also seems to pity me whenever my depression acts up, which makes me want to spend even less time with them.\n\nPoint: Dean and Jess room together, and I am here maybe four days a week (usually Thur-Sun) which was fine, but Lindsey has started visiting the same days. She and Dean tend to spend alone time together and lock Jess and me out of the room. But when they do hang out with us, I become very uncomfortable and generally have to leave the room.\n\nAny advice on dealing with this? Jess and I don't go to my house because I prefer not to be there; our group of friends & the dorm used to be my \"safe space\" but now I don't know what to do.", "summary": "current boyfriend dorms with ex-fiance. Ex's new girl is always around when I come to visit and she is everything I wish I could be, physically & mentally, so being around them is hard. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_2l5t3m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "r/relationships, what should I [21/F] know or think about before making the final decision to move in with my boyfriend [21/M]?", "post": "So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for 4 years now, and are currently seniors in college (graduation is in May). I am moving back to our hometown where he currently lives (I live about 30 minutes away at a larger university) to go to graduate school. We talked about moving in together when I come back, but I haven't made a decision yet just because I'm not sure if it's a good idea or not.\n\nI know that, one thing that bothers me the most is his lack of cleanliness. I mean his house seriously smells, and always looks like it has been hit by a tornado of mess. It's bad. I never get too upset about it or nag him to clean it too much simply because I don't live there, it's his shit, and I'm letting him enjoy is weird foul bachelor frog pad for the time being. I'm just worried that when I move in, he will want to continue living like that and I'm going to turn into his maid...\n\nAnyhow, there are lots of other things. I really just want to hear your experiences, maybe there's something I should consider that I haven't yet?\n\nThanks <3", "summary": "Been dating for 4 years, talked about moving in together, but I want to know what I should expect before I make a decision, so tell me your story please."} {"id": "t3_yl5wv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend [23M] dislikes sleeping with me [23F] in the same bed. It's starting to wear on me and make me insecure, need some advice/feedback", "post": "To start, I should clarify that by sleeping I mean the issue is with actually sleeping (not sex...though that happens too sometimes haha). Our situation is a bit unique, we live in the same house, with 2 other people, but in different rooms. We've been dating for about 6 months. When we first started dating, he would always invite me into his room and seemed to really enjoy having me stay in his bed. He'd often wake up during the night and hug/kiss me. Looking back, this was probably a sign that he wasn't sleeping very well, but it was still nice feeling wanted.\n\nFast forward a few months and he can't really stand to sleep with me. Sometimes he tries and then gets uncomfortable or hot or has some other reason and ends up leaving the bed in the middle of the night. Other times he just refuses to at all. I've never had this problem with any other boyfriend and I am unsure of how to deal with the implications. I know that it's not really personal, he just seemingly doesn't sleep well with other people and may just have sleeping problems in general. But it still just really irks me and has been grinding my emotions. I find a certain sense of security sleeping with an SO, and when I feel that he doesn't reciprocate it makes me feel very insecure. When I bring it up he usually gets irritated and doesn't seem to understand my feelings on the issue. To be clear, I understand this looks like a relatively small issue from the outside but I can't shake being hurt by it and just want some perspective. Girls, how would you deal with this situation? And guys, do you have any insight for me?", "summary": "Boyfriend used to love sleeping in the same bed with me, he no longer does. This makes me feel quite insecure and I am unsure about what to do - would like some perspective on the issue."} {"id": "t3_3fj1u5", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[17M] Guy asked her [17F] for drinks. Any advice?", "post": "So, basically here's my situation: We have been going to the same English course for like 3 months now. At first, i didn't know her but i was determined to ask someone out. So there was this blonde and blue eyes. I tried, got rejected even before asking (what a bitch). Then, i was walking down the street with a friend of hers and just happend naturally. I asked her friend to go to Starbucks with me. Her friend got a little nervous and made up an excuse. I didn't went to SB and to my luck we saw each other two blocks ahead. I said i realized i had no money left and she laughed. My intentions were clear here. Almost died of akwardness.\n\nI took like a one month reccess and started over again. Casually, i started going to the same bus stop of this girl (i think you can kinda see my intentions here) and talking to her till her bus came. Last time i saw her we settled to go for a drinks next time we saw each other (1 day before 2 week summer recess)\n\nNow, she came back from a family trip and im seeing her next tuesday.\n\nSo, here's the problem: as you read, i didn't asked her out. We are going just for drinks or something. I think it's pretty obvious that i like her. \n\nAnyway, if things go well im planning on walking her home or something and in the end telling her something sweet like she's intelligent for e.x and that i really like her. Then, asking for hee number and a second date to the movies.\n\nWhat do you think of my \"plan\"? Any advice?\n\nPD: As you can see im kinda unconfident (maybe because i never kissed nor been in a relationship) so i you could link me media to be more confident with girls that would be great!", "summary": "Insecure guy asked her for drinks. She agreed. Im taking her to the dribks and planning on making my intetions clear at the end of the date. Also, link me content to be more confident with girls."} {"id": "t3_1atqth", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (26M) of 3.5 years has cheated on me (21F) three times. I don't know what to do.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years and we are each others best friends. We live together in a 1 bed room apartment. And he's just my world. Other than him cheating on me we have a really good relationship. We can talk about anything, and I trust him with everything.\n\nHe first cheated on me within the first few months of us being together. There were some girls that he sexted before we got together that he just never stopped sexting. One day he left his email open and I saw all the pictures that he had sent from his phone to his email. I guess to save them for later. I confronted him, he apologized, and said it would never happen again. His explanation for it was that his previous girlfriend wouldn't let him watch porn so he felt like he was still retaliating. I knew we weren't super serious so I decided to forgive him and move on.\n\nAfter being together for almost 2 years he went out with about 6 of his male friends to a party. Apparently, he spent all night dancing and making out with a chick there. The next day he came clean to me about it. He said that he was really drunk and he felt guilty about it. He said that he wanted to tell me (even though I would have never found out) because I deserved to know. Still, I forgave him, and I just wanted to move past it.\n\nLast night, he told me that a week ago when he was at a bar with his friends he wound up kissing a girl. He said he doesn't know who she was, and that he was incredibly drunk, and kind of out of it.\n\nI just. I don't get it. I try so hard to understand that people make mistakes. I try to be the best girlfriend that I can. He's left me throughout the years of us being together feeling inadequate. I have to struggle with my self esteem because of the things he has done.\n\nI don't know what to do. I just. I'm at such a loss.", "summary": "Dated 3.5 years. Partner has cheated 3 times. I know I should break up but I don't know if another chance is worth it."} {"id": "t3_j1kfb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My office has started Prank Wars. It is crucial my group wins... Ideas?", "post": "The office I work in has a group of six interns, three girls and three boys. Originally, we started playing pranks on each other when one person was out of the office. It started off simple with things like turning everything in the cubicles backwards, tilting computer screens, etc, until last week when my group (the girls) completely wrapped everything in the boy's cubicles in tinfoil and saran wrap (computer moniters, chairs, speakers, printers, pens, staplers, cups, literally everything) while they were all out of the office, so they were unable to get into their cubes the next day. They are now planning something big to get us all back (probably on Friday since all of the girls will be gone), so we need to start planning ways to retaliate. Please help us Reddit!", "summary": "We've started intern prank wars. My group struck first, completely saran wrapping the boys' cubicles. We're patiently waiting for their prank which will happen Friday, meanwhile we need to start planning our next attack."} {"id": "t3_31v8od", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22/F] have an unbelievable amount of sex with my [25/M] brother every weekend and it is affecting family relationships.", "post": "We have been doing this nearly every weekend since August. I go to his house on friday, get high and engage in extreme sexual activity until sunday. it's completely my fault - i pressured him to do drugs for the sole purpose of getting him to sleep with me. It has begun to affect our relationship as well as our relationship with our mother. \n\nI should also mention that our mother came by 2 weekends ago unexpectedly to drop something off while i was fully nude and dancing/shaking in front of my brother, who was on the couch and she saw me through the window. I ran into the bathroom and she just left. when i returned home, she was clearly upset and subtly let me know that my bro and i have been doing things.\n\n I know this is wrong but I genuinely enjoy everything we do. am i sick?", "summary": "seduced my brother, had regular sex, enjoyed it for months and now i think it's time to stop. how do i resist the urges and convince my mother we aren't sleeping together? should i seek help?"} {"id": "t3_2ha5l1", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by taking sleeping pills.", "post": "This happened on Monday but nonetheless I'm not happy about it.\n\nOn Sunday I closed for the job I work at and I was out until about 12AM. After a 12 hour shift I was extremely exhausted. And so, once I got home from said job, I decided to take a shower and take some sleeping pills, and go to sleep. Not in that order. I took the pills first, not knowing what effect they would have on me.\n\nI get into a nice hot shower and begin to feel very drowsy. About five minutes into the shower (and 15 minutes after taking the pills) I decided to just sit down in the shower and let the water wash over me for a while. No one else was home so I figured, why not? I don't remember much after that.\n\nOn Monday, I had another shift to work at 10AM. I woke up in the shower at 9:54 and realized my wrongdoing. I panicked and got to work as quick as possible, getting their six minutes after my shift was supposed to start. My boss was not happy at all, and I received a scolding despite it being my fourth day on the job. I nearly got fired but it's water under the bridge now. My manager found out what happened and actually laughed it off with me.", "summary": "took sleeping pills before getting into a hot shower, fell asleep in the shower and was late for work the next day."} {"id": "t3_2zvw0b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] find a girl [18 F] at my workplace cute. She's leaving the job, what do i do?", "post": "My background: 0 relationship experience. Never hugged or kissed another girl before. \n\nSo i just started work a week ago(part time retail), and i met this really cute girl 3 days ago [18 F]. She have been working for a couple months already and is going to leave in a week time. That leaves me with only a week left to see/talk to her. But because we work at different shifts, i can say that the most i get to see her for, is another 3 days.\n\nAt my first day of work she totally didnt want to communicate with me at all. Our superior tried to introduce me to her and her to me. I gladly smiled at her but.. she didnt even bother to look at me or say hi. I thought i left a bad impression of myself, on her. But on my 2nd day of work, she suddenly initiated a conversation with me and we started chatted throughout work and it was really nice because i get to know her abit more. She seems happy to chat with me BUT she also chats happily with one of our male colleagues.\n\nI don't know what to do since she is leaving in a week, i really want to stay in touch with her as her friend, and continue from there, but how? I've already got her number (over here we share all our colleague's numbers.)\n\nBecause i have no experience, i dont know the DOs/DONTs.\n\nCan i tell her that she's really cute? \n\nShould i ask her out for a meal? \n\nCan i ask her how she feels about me?", "summary": "I met a girl at work, she is leaving soon, i want to stay in touch with her without being a creep because i only met her a couple days ago."} {"id": "t3_s73xk", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I've been a suffering as a victim from my mom's problem for 13 years. What can I do?", "post": "My mom has what she calls these \"obstacles\", which is basically when she wires money to people through western union or green dot. These happen about once every 2 days, and the people request around $500 each time. I'm 15 and currently staying with a good friend of mine because of my living situation. My mom has been secretive about what this money is going towards, but my Uncle has come up with that my mom is a victim of a \"Gypsy scam\". He thought of this because my mom always says she can't explain this problem because it will jinx it, and that the money is coming back to us. She has resorted to stealing from my grandparents, taking my college funds (roughly $15,000) and works as a lap dancer. We haven't confronted her about the fact we think she's being scammed by gypsies yet, because we know she will just deny it. What can I do to convince my mom that she's being scammed, and she needs to start rebuilding our lives?", "summary": "My mom has been giving about $2,000 a week to people thinking she's making our lives better. What do we do?"} {"id": "t3_4f6k7s", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Day 1 (again...) F/29/5'6.5/SW196.4", "post": "So, today is day 1... again. I'm getting really sick of starting \"over\". \n\nOver the past 8 years, I've gained 50 pounds. I topped out at 202 about 2 years ago. I've done and quit Weight Watchers, MFP and low carb diets, I don't know how many times over the years. I've had the gym membership, C25K, workout videos, etc. I know what I need to do, I just can't stick with it, and I'm sick of half ass \"trying\".\n\nSo that's why I'm here. Today is Day 1, again, and I'm wondering what I can do to stick with it. I'm wanting to do low carb since I can't control myself around carbs. My thing is, I don't know how to stick with it. I'm great at starting my day pumped and ready to take it on, make the lifestyle change, and lose the weight, but by the end of the day, I want pizza and beer. I don't think I've made it past 4 whole days in the past 5 years. \n\nSo r/loseit, what motivates you to keep going? Any advice on sticking with it? \n\nI'm ready to do this, but I also just really want a biscuit! WTF.", "summary": "Want to do low carb diet, can't follow through over the past 8 years, I lack motivation and determination. How do I get past day 4?"} {"id": "t3_19afgc", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Principal gets it!", "post": "So, when I was in high school my principal, Mr. C, and his administration was never too fond of the \"arts.\" My high school was a small football high school\u2026. Nuff said.\n\nI am a musical, theatrical type of person so this, in plain words, pissed me off. I ran a set crew for the middle school drama club consisting of 7 or 8 high schoolers. Basically, we would go back to the middle school, 30-45 minutes from the high school during the week after school and on weekends to help build the set for the middle school.\n\nThere were 2 days a year we needed to miss a day of school for the plays. It was for the dress rehearsal of the spring and fall play. Mr. C didn't like that at all. And always gave us a hard time, lectured us about how unimportant it was, and put on a whole shit show to illustrate his disapproval. But our parents signed release forms written so ultimately, there was nothing he could do to stop us. \n\nGRADUATED YAY\n\nSo, now I perform music in various bars throughout my hometown and surrounding area. And I have been waiting for the day Mr. C shows up in one of these bars. Last Friday. It happened. \n\nI was giddy. I changed my set list around and the third song of the first set I dedicated a song to him. \n\n\"I always love seeing my teachers from highschool out at bars. It gives me time to talk and catch up with them. And in high school there were many teachers I liked.. but as always there were certain people I DIDN'T like\" and looked right at him. \n\n\"Why you gotta be so mean\u2026 I can see you years from now in a bar\u2026 a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life\" \n\nI stared at him the ENTIRE time.\n\nAt the end of the song he threw his money down at the bartender and stormed out of the place. I called after him in the microphone \"Bye Mr. C!!\" \n\nWas deliciously vengeful.", "summary": "Principal was a complete and total asshole throughout my high school career, sang Mean by Taylor Swift at a bar he was at and announced it was for him."} {"id": "t3_2erupa", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Consolidating debt, good idea?", "post": "Hi Guys,\n\nI have 5 credit cards with roughly 10k debt total. One of these cards charges me about $100 per month in finance charges as it has $6,000 on it. \n\nI have 4 other cards that have 4,000 combined. One has 1,500, one has 1,000, one has 1,100 and the last one has 400. \n\nAnyways, I'm tired of the finance charge from the biggest card and have applied for a personal loan to consolidate my debt. I was denied for my $10,000 loan and offered a $5,000 loan as they could only offer a loan for what I currently make per month. \n\nI talked to my parents and they are willing to SIGN for the loan and I'll be a co-borrower so their credit will get me the full loan. Their credit score is around 750. \n\nBefore they go into the bank, I just wanted to make sure I'm doing the right thing. I'll pay about $300 per month for 36 months for this loan. I plan on paying it off much faster but can't afford to do an 18 month loan where I get stuck with $600 per month at the minimum. \n\nAny tips for this? Is this a good idea?", "summary": "Consolidating 10k worth of debt. Parents will sign for the loan and they have near perfect credit. Good idea?"} {"id": "t3_2rfuta", "subreddit": "running", "title": "How do you track shoe prices to get better deals?", "post": "I started \"seriously\" running a few years ago (I'm a slow runner, but by \"serious,\" I mean doing it frequently and entering races). I went to Road Runner and found that the Mizuno Wave Creations were good for my feet. I used to get weird pains before, from an old injury, but they helped me feel much better after a run.\n\nAnyway, I buy a new pair each year, since I put about 300-400 miles on them in 12 months anyway, but each year I was spending like $140 because the new versions had just come out.\n\nYesterday I hit Road Runner's sale and instead of shelling out $140-160 for the newest model, I just bought a way marked down (and UGLY!) version of last year's for $60 bucks. I'm happy about this, but I was wondering if there was a happy middle, where I can spend maybe $90-100 once a current year's model is a little old but not a whole year old.", "summary": "What do you all do to find a good price on your favorite model of shoe? What time of year is the good for getting discounts on the current model?"} {"id": "t3_21zb5g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 M] was about to enter my first relationship, and now hope is fading. Help me stop panicking?", "post": "I was being set up with a wonderful girl by my best friends, and it was going well. She would drunk call/text me, and even when sober we hit it off quite well. After 3-4 weeks and a few double dates, I decided to text her about doing something together. Just the two of us. \n\nI first asked her if she was free on Friday, to which she responded the next morning in the affirmative. I then proposed dinner and my plans, and haven't heard anything back for 12 hours. \n\nI have no idea what will happen, nor do I believe it possible to predict. I'm just sitting here - a kissless virgin who was on the cusp of a wonderful relationship - faced with the potential of having to start all over again. And I'm terrified and on the verge of a mild panic attack.", "summary": "I know in 10 years this won't matter. I know life goes on. But I can't seem to calm down, and I'm terrified of what's to come. Any advice/perspective?"} {"id": "t3_3vqioj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [late 20's M] with my [late 20's F] wife of 6 years. Had relationship issues a year ago and can't stop thinking about divorce.", "post": "Summary from last year\n\nI was thinking about our relationship and where we were at. I ask her how she thinks things are. We end up deciding to divorce, but she took a look at herself and things she needed to work on. I decided to stay and work things out with her. \n\nLately, I cannot stop thinking about all the events that happened last year. I have been looking at divorce more and more. I cannot get these thoughts out of my mind. We don't really have any relationship problems, but I do not think we are compatible romantically. We don't have many shared interests and don't have conversations unless it is about work or some family gossip, etc . . .\n\nPlease give me some advice. Do I start the divorce process or do I stay in the relationship that I don't feel will last much longer.", "summary": "Last year we agreed to get divorced, then decided to work it out. Lately, I can't stop thinking about telling her I want out."} {"id": "t3_1fa9ca", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "My GF(18F) broke up with me (18M) due to impending college separation. I want to get back together at some point. How should I approach this?", "post": "Things were going well for about 2 months, then she surprised me with a \"let's talk\". Afterwards, she told me she still had feelings for me and it was not at all my fault. I understand her reasons (She's pretty intelligent and very independent.), but I think if the circumstances were different we'd still be together. I'm interested in dating her again, but I don't know how to approach this goal if a long distance relationship is unavoidable. Should I wait till we both get settled into school and see where things go from there? I'd especially like to hear from someone who has reconnected with someone they've dated in high school later in life.", "summary": "My girlfriends broke up with me because she doesn't want a LDR, but still has feelings for me and I want to continue dating again within a decent time frame."} {"id": "t3_2wpzbi", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "How does flirting change as you get older?", "post": "I'm a female college freshman, who is finding herself completely lost and confused by the environment I've found in college. I'll admit that I'm pretty inexperienced, I've only had one boyfriend, and we didn't get all that far, but in high school, I definitely understood how to flirt. I never really went past flirting, but I could do it.\n\nNow in college, I'm in some upper level classes, so most of my day is spent with people at least few years older than me, and I'm confused by what flirting is. Last semester, I kinda think my TA was flirting with me, and, of course, it never went further than some innocent (what I think was) flirting, because I won't risk my 4.0 and he's not dumb enough to risk his career. He would lightly touch my back and fake call me out on things and do playful things like that, but at the same time, I'm not entirely sure he wasn't just being friendly, since he told me he had a sister about my age. \nAnd this semester, there's this guy, who my friend and I have estimated to be in his mid-twenties, and he always sits next to me in this class and remembers to ask me about the things that I mentioned briefly a while ago. And basically I have no idea if he's just better adjusted and friendlier than most high school boys or if he's being flirty. \n\nI don't really think I need questions about these specific guys answered, I'm just trying to give examples of my confusion.", "summary": "Does flirting change as you get older? How does it change? Should I just stick to horny, more like high schoolers, freshmen boys, since clearly I have no clue at all what I'm doing?"} {"id": "t3_2mivvi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] like a friend [19 F], text her and go on walks; want to get closer, but don't know what to do", "post": "I'm a 18M and like a friend [17F]. We've known each other for nearly 11 years (growing up together) and I don't know how to get closer to her. \n\nBasically, our relationship has been little more than acquaintances until the last few weeks. We knew the other existed but that's it. \n\nOver the course of the last few weeks, I've been texting her and even though she is a little shy, but she wants to make new friends/get to know people better. She doesn't talk too much (like other girls I know), but she's got a great personality. I got her out of the house and we went on a walk. I really am not looking for anything more than getting to know her better and become tighter. \n\nWhen we talk, we talk usually chat about random things. I instigate conversations, but I'm fine with that. We ask each other random questions and respond -- some of the random ones include: what is your deepest regret? what is one thing you've always wanted to learn but never have? and so on. \n\nI want to get closer to her and I enjoy her company. I *think* she does too. At least, I *hope* she does. Even if she isn't interested in a relationship, I would love to be just good friends with her. \n\nHelp me make a move.", "summary": "Know a quiet/shy girl, text her and went on a walk, but don't know what to do next."} {"id": "t3_13bmlh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A few years ago, a last minute change in my normal routine narrowly saved me from being killed in a plane crash. Reddit, what are some instances when a last minute event or decision inadvertently saved your life?", "post": "When I was fifteen, my family and I were visiting our lake house for a few days. The water sits about thirty yards away from my house, and every morning right after I would get up, I would go for a swim and sit out on the beach. On this particular morning however, my mother decided to cook a large breakfast, so I stayed in and ate instead of going down to the beach. After I finished breakfast, I was about to walk down to the beach when I witnessed a single engine plane crash right in the exact spot my family and I always sit in on the beach, killing both of the occupants instantly. Had I decided to go to the beach even five minutes sooner, it probably would have killed me and anyone else in my family who came along.", "summary": "The last minute decision to wait a few minutes before going to the beach most likely saved me from being hit by a crashing airplane."} {"id": "t3_4csm9s", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Auto loan interest rate is way high, but i make enough to double down monthly payments", "post": "So i bought a nice used car for 11.5k+ tax (2009 Accord coupe v6) And they gave me a high interest rate (7.19) for being a young male. I put 3k down so I'm close to 9k left. my monthly for 48 months is $269 with Ally. I tried paying $100 extra a month but those con artists are not applying the whole amount to the principal ! My first extra payment only 60 bucks went into the extra principal. the next like 80 went in. the rest is being applied to the finance charge.... I've called multiple times to tell them the WHOLE payment needs to be applied. they tell me because finance charge is calculated daily it gets taken out of my monthly payment. the rep told me to add my extra $100 to the monthly statement thats due near the end of the month. Is that good advice?", "summary": "instead of paying my monthly statement + $100 mid month extra payment , should i just pay a total monthly statement with the 100 dollars extra included"} {"id": "t3_21ozm9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30's F] with the guy I have been seeing [30's M] for almost two months.", "post": "I dont know what to say here, except that I was finally happy. I thought this was it, we weren't like totally on fire or in sync, but it was pretty damn close.\n\nSaw him often, the chemistry was insane. And then all of a sudden last weekend he tells me he has an interview in a different city. I know he hated our current city, its too big, too loud, too crowded and people arent friendly. I have been here for a really long time and I love the energy, ruthless or otherwise.\n\nI told him to give it some time, we just met, let me help him like this city as I do. He told me he is confused and needs time to think things out, he likes me but is not happy here.\n\nAnd then I just got one message from him after his interview. Its been 5 days but who is counting. We never talked about being exclusive. So I bit the bullet and went on a date last nite. All it did was reaffirm how much I missed and liked this guy over a short period.\n\nI messaged him and called him. No reply yet, I dont know if its a lost cause. I miss him and I cant bring myself to start dating anew. Why isnt meeting someone you instantly click with the end of it all?", "summary": "Instantly clicked with the guy I started dating. He is not happy in our current city and is thinking about moving. Have not heard from him in few days. Is this it, time to move on yet again?"} {"id": "t3_t1wb6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Let's hear it, your worst/best break up story. Funny/sad/crazy, I want to hear the extreme.", "post": "Here is mine.\n\nWas married to my now (obviously) ex wife. She had been drinking. Were both sitting on the couch watching tv. She looks over at me and says, \"remember Adam?\" (adam is her \"gay\" best friend.) Of course I do...while you were away last weekend we slept together. \n\nI was in complete shock. She said it so non challant and out of the blue, but I knew instantly she was not joking around. So what did I do? I changed the channel and kept watching tv. I just zoned out. This pissed her off, so she left. When she came back two hours later she was shit faced. I was still on the couch watching tv. (i just did not know how to process what was going on and reddit didn't exist at that time lol) she sees me still sitting there, this pisses her off even more. So she goes to the kitchen, grabs a steak knife, and slits both of her wrists. I jump up tackle her and hold her on the ground while I call 911. Keep pressure on her wrists till they come. The entire time she is begging for me to let her die. I honestly contemplated just walking out right then but I didn't. Cops and paramedics show up. Take her away to a psych ward. While she is there I move out all my shit. The best part, I was leaving for Iraq In a month. When the cop asked what happened I just said, I'm leaving for Iraq in a month and she just told me she cheated on me and slit her wrists. The cop looked at me and said \"dude...that sucks.\" Then turned around and shut the door and left me by myself.", "summary": "wife cheated, slit her wrists, asked me to let her die, I thought about it, she went to psych ward. I went to Iraq."} {"id": "t3_29f84v", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should I tell somebody I barely know, that her new tattoo has a massive spelling mistake?", "post": "I'm currently in a dilemma. A girl I went to high school with, who I wasn't friends with, and that I haven't spoken to since, has just had her first tattoo and posted a picture of Facebook for all to see. \nThe tattoo reads.... 'With Pain Comes Strenth' \nThe tattoo is on the side of her forearm running from the base of her hand (little finger side) to her elbow, and has a small pink butterfly at the end. \nNow she's posted this on Facebook, and it has 30 odd likes and 21 comments all saying how lovely it is etc etc. Nobody has pointed out that's she's missing a G and looks like a twat.\nMy group of friends and I, (who all went to school with her, but were never her friends) have had a massive laugh over this all day, but now I'm sooooo tempted to tell her and don't know what to do. \nThere's two reasons I want to tell her, firstly so she can get it fixed soon and doesn't look like a twat for weeks until somebody else points it out to her. \nBut secondly, and the bigger reason, for pure selfish indulgence of the drama that would occur. \nMy friends are all game for me telling her, my boyfriend, who is always Mr Good and moral is telling me no. \nSo I've turned to Reddit, what should I do? And what are the consequences either way?", "summary": "A girl I barely know has the g missing out of strength and I don't know if I should tell her for my own selfish gains"} {"id": "t3_2nszjv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18F] boyfriend [18M] of one year doesn't do anything romantic for me, or put in the same effort I do?", "post": "I know this is a trivial issue, but it's starting to affect our relationship in the sense that I've started to compare him to another friend of ours, who treats his girlfriend much differently. I don't want huge stupid displays of affection as if we were in a movie, just something, anything. I don't even want expensive things, that's not the point. I try to do romantic things for him, like leaving him cute messages around his room or texting him out the blue 'I love you', or even just buying him his favourite drink for when I meet him, but I don't get anything in return.\n\nI feel like I'm the one making all the effort in this. A few months ago, I tested this out and deliberately didn't text him (we don't live together) to see if he'd text first... Three days later with no text from him, I broke and text him, very upset about this fact. He just said that he didn't really have anything interesting to say so he didn't say anything. Does this mean he just didn't think about me at all during this time? \n\nHonestly, it upsets me and makes me feel like he doesn't really love me as much as I do him. I know this isn't true, because when we're together and alone, he's so cute and caring, it's unbelievable. I have spoken to him about this and he's just said that he's not like other guys and just doesn't think of doing these romantic little things, and gets angry that I compare him to them. I don't know what to do, I love him so much.", "summary": "My boyfriend seems to care less than I do about our relationship, and doesn't do anything romantic for me at all."} {"id": "t3_37zfjz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [23 M] too much of a bitch to break up with my GF [21 F] of 4 years.", "post": "She was my first serious girlfriend (I was a late bloomer) and I still really like her, but Ive never had the opportunity to be single and see what else is out there. \n\nShe cheated on me a couple years back and then told me in the fall of last year. I thought that this would be a perfect excuse to break up with her, so I did, for all of one week. \n\nShe would not stop messaging me, telling me how much things have changed and how much she needed me and how I was the only person she could see herself with. She started sending me gifts and had her friends text me telling me how sorry she was and how much of a mess she's been since the break up.\n\nOf course, I could not stand to see her so upset, so I eventually caved in and am now with her again. Since then, things have been great and I truly believe that she's changed and that it will never happen again, but I still wish I had an opportunity to be single, as I have never truly experienced it.", "summary": "I kind of want to break up with my girlfriend, but really care about her and cant stand to see her upset... what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_2ge3wq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My SO of 2 years (21 F) is traveling, she went to club and danced against a guy, but tells me (21 M) it's just having fun and got mad at me for being upset", "post": "I just need some advice Relationships, am\nI being overly jealous? Some quick backstory, my SO is volunteering for a program in another country. She's made great friends with the other volunteers, but most of the guides are older men and they actively try to seduce the girls. My SO has denied all advances, but two of them keep telling her they really like and care about her. Makes me uneasy to begin with. So last night she went to a bar with her friends and then a club, and danced with one of the two guides. I love her dearly but the thought of her even dancing like that with someone else bothers me. If I try to bring it up she gets very defensive, but understands why I feel the way I do. Were both extremely close, have been best friends for 6 years, dating for two, we've lived together for a year. I know she would never do anything that's considered cheating or would hurt me or our relationship, I just feel very off about the whole situation.", "summary": "SO is traveling, danced with/up against a guy in a club, says it meant nothing it's just having fun and being free and would never do anything to hurt our relationship but I'm jealous. Overly so?"} {"id": "t3_52mp63", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "my [25f] school friend [37m] wont stop making critical comments/jokes and its starting to hurt my feelings. How do I adress this without coming across as rude?", "post": "Sorry if the formatting is off, posting on mobile.\n\nI've known Brian for about 9 months as a part of my friend group in my small class. He has always been a bit negative and really observant, but lately he will not stop making rude critical comments about my personality and appearance. \n\nFor example, I am a really quiet person and was really tired yesterday, so I wasn't very talkative. All through class and lunch, Brian would not stop singleling me out and making snide comments that made me feel really self conscious. comments like:\n\n -\t \"Boy you are alot of fun to be around\"\n -\t \"why do we even hang out with you?\"\n -\t \" sure are talkative arent you?\"\n\nhe made comments like this over and over again as well as calling me rude. for clarity, all of our other friends were also just sitting around quietly too, I wasnt ignoring him or anything. just was quiet and tired. \n\nThis is not the first time he has done this either, and we only started the semester a week ago. Even though it hurt my feelings, i figured he was just joking, and said something sarcastic in return. Its becoming a daily thing and its making me uncomfortable. \n\nNot only that, but is also constantly pointing out and making fun of my physical flaws, like a few gray hairs , my zits, a chip in my teeth or not smiling enough etc. I feel like I'm under a microscope. \n\nI'm at a loss of how to deal with this. On one hand I feel like I'm being way too sensitive, and maybe he's joking, but I cant ignore how uncomfortable I am around him because of this. I just want to avoid him, but can't due to class size and my friend group. Reddit, what would you do?", "summary": "my friend is making rude comments and making me uncomfortable and I dont know what to do about it. Not sure if I'm being too sensitive."} {"id": "t3_3y6fmx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Announcing a pregnancy to in laws who have been awful and we [30 mf] are low contact with...making me want to vomit.", "post": "I'll keep it short- my in laws have treated me poorly since day one. Husband had a kid with a short term GF over 7 years ago and they broke up before he was 1. We have kiddo every weekend and some weekdays and pay CS. We are involved. His stepmom/my step MIL is frenemies with his ex because they both love to start drama, and she's always funneling the ex info. Step MIL has gone so far as to go to my parents a month before the wedding to try and cancel it because \"husband doesn't deserve a life, he left the mother of his child.\" She's been awful to me and has lots of diagnosed substance and mental issues, so it's not in my head. It's been a constant cycle of apologies and abuse and we finally went no contact with her after she \"accidentally\" sent my husband a mean text on Father's Day about him meant for his ex. We are still low contact with his dad because he's a good guy but also has a lot of diagnosed issues. He's never been talkative or warm to me but he's good to my stepson and husband. \n\nWell today he wants to go there and announce our pregnancy, we've told everyone else over a month ago and now that stepson knows he wants his dad to hear from us, otherwise they'll hear from his ex. He wants me to go over with him because they may not be family to me, but I am my husbands family and he wants me there. I'm currently typing this in the bathroom getting IBS flair ups over the thought of going there. I don't want her to touch my belly, to try and hug me, we've agreed she won't be a part of this child's life. But obviously she will hear us tell his dad and do her crazy narcissistic \"Grandma of the year\" BS. Is this the time to just sit there blank and not say anything or to let her know that she's not to be involved? How do I announce it to his dad without her thinking, as she will, that my child is a proverbial olive branch?", "summary": "how to tell NC step mother in law that she will have nothing to do with baby when we announce it to my fil? Want to support husband but also reinforce boundaries."} {"id": "t3_3t70ao", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by stabbing myself in the head.", "post": "I have had a certain routine after taking a shower for a couple of months, it will probably have to change...\nAfter I dry myself off and put my clothes on, I put the towel on my right shoulder.\nThen, I take a cotton swab and stick that into my left ear.\nNow, I go to the garage (it's inside of our house) to hang my towel (the towels always stay there until they are washed) and use it to dry my hair off on the way.\nWhen I'm done with that, I go upstairs and clean/dry my ears on the way up.\n\nNow to the FU.\nYesterday, while drying my hair off on the way to the garage, I was in a hurry and apparently wasn't careful enough, because I hit the cotton swab either with the towel or with my hand and slammed it into my ear. You can maybe imagine the pain I had during that moment, I would say it was in the top 5 of pains that I have ever experienced.\nObviously, I thought that I had just destroyed my eardrum and checked for blood. It seemed like there was none, so I was pretty relieved. \nI continued my way (with ear pain, of course), hoping, that nothing bad had happened and everything would be fine. \nDuring the evening, I noticed, that I was't able to hear very well on my left ear but still went to bed hopeful.\nToday, in school, I felt something in my ear, scratched it and found out it was dried blood. \nAlso, the ear pain didn't disappear but instead was joined by a headache. Now I don't know if I should still be hopeful or not...", "summary": "Slammed a cotton swab into my ear, the result was blood, a hearing loss and a whole lot of pain."} {"id": "t3_16ond2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is it business-like for my car dealership to request to buy my car back to receive a brand new car in return? Or is this a scam?", "post": "Yesterday, I received this notice in the mail that read: \n\n\" Dear drtide4,\n\nToyota Scion of Turnersville would like to thank you for doing business with our dealership and would like to continue to earn your business. \n\nAccording to our records, you own a 2009 Toyota Corolla. Based on this information and the value of your vehicle, I would like to exchange your 2009 for a brand new Toyota or Scion with a monthly payment near or below your current payments! \n\nWe absolutely need to reach our goal to purchase approximately 2 million dollars in pre-owned inventory prior to January 31, 2013. Instead of only going to the auto auction, we would like the opportunity to purchase your Toyota Corolla\n\nPlease act fast and come to the dealership prior to January 31st and allow us the opportunity to make you an offer that you can't refuse (a visual inspection is required in order to assess the value of your Toyota Corolla).\" \n\nAre these typical of dealerships when dealing with a loyal customer? Or am I being scammed by my own dealership?", "summary": "My car dealership wants to swap my '09 Toyota Corolla for a brand new Toyota or Scion. Scam or not?"} {"id": "t3_g3kqy", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Currently unemployed - which tech certification exams are worth taking?", "post": "Background: Worked a temporary job at a large company while I was in school and right after I graduated. That contract ended in December. I went to school for Computer Science. While I was working that job I learned that I liked hands on work (getting dirty with networking, tech support and general shit) more than anything else.\n\nAnyway right now I'm applying to just about anything I can. A lot of places that spark my interest usually mention the A+ certification in the requirements. I've heard different things about this exam from people I know and what I've read online but the fact that real jobs are requiring this exam is hard to ignore. I've also read a lot about taking the CCNA as it will help a lot on top of my hands on experience.", "summary": "Unemployed IT grad and looking for work. What (if any) certifications are worth taking while I'm working 0 hours a week? Hell, they can't hurt right?"} {"id": "t3_2rl4pr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend of three years [21M] constantly calls me [21F] a whore", "post": "Update: I DUMPED HIM. Thanks for all the advice guys! It was hard but I can live.. \n\nHey guys.. \n\nI've been with my boyfriend for three years (I'm a female and we're both 21) he lost his virginity to me but I wasn't a virgin when I met him..\n\nThe first two years were wonderful and we always felt like we're soulmates.. Thing is he thinks I'm a whore because I hooked up with a guy he hates a year before I met him.\n\nHe says his opinion of me will never change and he will punish me for it forever :( he makes jokes about this and calls me a slut/whore almost everyday whether jokingly or serious ..\n\nIt really hurts cause I thought I meant more to him but I guess I was wrong.. Anyway this makes me feel so shitty about myself that I just wanna stay in bed and feel so inferior to all the other women who are virgins.\n\nI hate it cause its like none of the things we did matter, and all he'll ever think of me is a whore.. It sucks thinking that he will respect another girl and not me simply because of a mistake which I regret deeply.. \n\nI know I can't change this cause it happened five years ago.. What can I do? I really love my boyfriend and we want to move in together soon but this is slightly annoying and he won't stop..\n\nAm I overreacting? Should I suck it up and go with it? \n\nTalking to him is useless cause we had conversations about this tons of times and he still says I'm a slut.. \n\nAny tips? :(", "summary": "I had sex with a guy a year before I met my current boyfriend and my bf says he thinks I'm a whore and his opinion won't change.."} {"id": "t3_1azldb", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[27M] been dating [23F] for roughly a month. Wondering when to make it official.", "post": "Brief background. Both of us are working professionals in Boston, she will be entering law school in the fall. The past (only) three relationships I have been in were all friends who transitioned slowly into relationships, so despite my age I am relatively new to the dating song and dance. So here I am.\n\nWe met about a month ago, and we did what I suppose is the normal dating ritual. First date was dinner and drinks after work, I paid, she offered but only once. Left on a hug. Second date was a day date, but escalated to a movie, making out and staying over. Third date was very intimate in the same vein. Since then, been hanging out and just spending random free moments with each other.\n\nAnd because I'm sure the question will come up, no sex yet.\n\nShe will be going on a family vacation to England soon, and to be very honest, I have not felt this smitten in regards to a girl, ever. Not even my previous relationships. My gut wants to ask her to make it official sooner rather than later. My head is saying to wait and be patient.", "summary": "Been seeing a girl for about a month, progressed very quickly, strong feelings, when to make it official, sooner or later?"} {"id": "t3_4y00xg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 f] recently broke up with my bf [21 m] and I think I'm going crazy", "post": "I'm so sorry I know this isn't really the place to post this, and if someone could let me know a better sub, I'll move it there. I just feel like I can't get over my bf and just hit a breaking point tonight. Basically we broke up because of distance and we both left on the terms that we still love each other and should ultimately get back together. That was about three weeks ago. We also had a deal not to talk to each other for 3 weeks, so I recently messaged him when the time was done. The thing is, when he messaged back, I realized that there was no way I could message him back as if I was normal. I don't know why, but for me this was kind of a breaking point. I guess it finally sunk in that we really broke up. Now I don't know how I should play it, should I message him back as if I'm trying have a conversation with him, or give a really short answer to cut him off? Or I guess just tell him the truth? I'm really leaning towards the last, but I don't want to come off pathetic.\n\nAdditions info: what really just pushed me over the edge was that I just had an orientation with all the people in the program I joined where I live abroad, and all the guys were such major creeps and were so gross to me. It was so demoralizing and made me realize how much I gave up in my bf. All I want is to be with him, but I know that's impossible while I'm here. I'm just so tired of all of this. I just want something stable right now, or something comforting or I don't even know.", "summary": "broke up with my bf for distance, don't know if I should talk to him, and feel really demoralized by the new people around me."} {"id": "t3_22prsq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm a 24 year old male and can't keep an erection during sex, even with medicine. Help!", "post": "I have been going out with this girl for the last few months and asked her to spend the night a few nights ago. I have had issues in the past with maintaining an erection so I asked the doctor for some medicine to be prepared. I took 15 mg of Cialis before she came over. When we went to bed things started getting hot and heavy. She was rubbing her ass on me and I told her I was getting pretty hard. We made out for a while, and I was completely into the moment and thought I was enjoying it. I wasn't concerned about maintaining an erection because I thought the Cialis would take care of it. She then she asked if I had a condom. It was about this time I noticed that my erection was gone. She stimulated me directly, but I wasn't able to get a full erection again. Sex was not had, and needless to say the night ended badly. She left pretty quickly in the morning.\n\nI think I have confidence issues/performance anxiety. When I'm masturbating, I have no problem getting hard or orgasming. However, this was an issue in the past with my previous girlfriend as well. I would get hard, start having sex, and then basically fake it. I thought the issue was that I wasn't that attracted to my previous girlfriend, but this new girl is drop-dead sexy so I don't think that's it. I really don't understand what's going on with me, and how I can move past it.\n\nThe new girl blamed herself. She said she thought she just doesn't turn me on. I assured her that it wasn't her and made up an excuse saying that I thought that I had taken too much of the medicine the night before and that it had made me feel sick. I don't know if she bought it. I really like this girl, we get along amazingly, and I don't want my sexual issues to end this relationship, but I just don't know how to move forward with this. Is there any advice anyone has that might be able to help me, both with the sexual issue and how to handle this relationship in particular? I don't think I'll ever be able to have a relationship without resolving this.", "summary": "Having a hard time maintaining an erection probably because of confidence/performance anxiety, and I think it's going to kill my new relationship."} {"id": "t3_4qjl8y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (21f) horrified of insects. I don't think my (29m) boyfriend quite understands my fear.", "post": "Sorry in advance for the extremely long post..So let me start off by saying my whole life I have lived in states that don't have very bad insect problems, little spiders at the most. I recently moved south west and I'm experiencing large insects constantly for pretty much the first time. \n\nYou're probably thinking this sounds ridiculous but it gets better. The house I'm currently living in is constantly having cockroach problems. Most the time they will be dead and I'll find a few of them laying in the living room or kitchen. That alone grosses me out beyond belief. We get our house sprayed but somehow they manage to get in. \n\nAbout three times in the past week I have came across live ones and I have almost gone into shock. It's gotten so bad that I'm sometimes scared to do the dishes because I fear a live cockroach will crawl on my hand or whatever it may be. Let me be clear, my boyfriend and I have an amazing relationship so that really has nothing to do with this.. Anyway, I've stressed this to my boyfriend plenty of times and I've even mentioned moving to a new house. He does show that he cares that I'm so freaked out and disgusted by the bugs and he will do anything he can to make sure they don't get in to the house, but he pretty much refuses to even think about moving. He's lived in this house for a while and I've only lived here with him for a year. He really enjoys the space of the house and the backyard which I can understand. But the bug problem is really starting to get to me and I don't think he truly understands how bad it freaks/grosses me out. \n\nAm I being petty over something so small?", "summary": "have a horrible fear of bugs, our house has been getting a lot of cockroaches and I want to move. Am I being petty?"} {"id": "t3_2esm8x", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[27/m] Just broke up, losing friends, and feeling rock bottom like never before.", "post": "Some background - I have a pretty large group of friends/mutual friends. One of these friends had broken up with his girlfriend two years ago and I ended up starting dating his girlfriend. They were also friends in the same group of mutual friends. The relationship lasted about a year and ended recently when it just wasn't working out. \n\nRight now I feel like I'm in a hole that I can't crawl out of. Since dating the ex, I feel like I've drifted apart from my friends and also the old boyfriend has become closer to the mutual friends and doesn't have many nice things to say about me. Now that my girlfriend and I have split up, I feel like I've lost everything.\n\nEveryday, I see through social websites i.e. facebook all the things that everybody is doing and that I'm not really invited to. What makes it worse is that my ex is invited to hangout with them. Feeling this everyday is the worst feeling in the world.\n\nI'm not sure what to do. I feel like I fucked up dating within my group of friends and also and friend's ex gf. I feel as though everybody has a negative impression of me at this point and there's no way out for me. Its quite a large group of friends and I'm really starting to feel like its a small world.\n\nI can't stop thinking about how shitty this feels and the feeling of being excluded. I have a full time job and I work out regularly but thats not enough. I have no idea what to do at this point. I really am starting to feel like my life is over and theres no way to come back. I feel like im stuck. Is there anything I can do?", "summary": "dated friends ex gf, we all share a pretty large group of mutual friends. after gf and i broke up, feel like im losing all my friends and struggling to carry on"} {"id": "t3_2vuhep", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [26M] religious coworker [20M] keeps trying to preach his religion at work.", "post": "I have a coworker who is a Jehovah's Witness. He's a good guy all around, and he and I get along well. However, over the past several weeks he has been bringing religious pamphlets to work and has continuously started up religious discussions. I'm an atheist, and when he first started in the department, and he initiated this discussion, I let him know that religion isn't my cup of tea.\n\nWell, he avoids the discussions with me for the most, but instead bugs the other guys in my department about it, and they're starting to get fed up. Occasionally he will try chatting with me about it, but i just try to change the topic to films. He enjoys movies. I don't care what his beliefs are, I get why he does it, I just don't think this is should be going on at work. I don't want to get management involved until after I approach him about it. I told the other guys I would ask him to stop, and to not get the manager involved just yet. I'm just not sure how to do it yet\n\nSo here is my question: how do I go about asking him to stop? I don't want it to come off as if I'm attacking him. I don't want him to think that I'm trying to oppress his freedom to express himself. \n\nOn the chance he doesn't cease his proselytizing, what exactly should I say to the manager?", "summary": "coworker is super religious. Everyone in the department is fed up. How do I tactfully ask him to stop so I can avoid getting management involved?"} {"id": "t3_rp7el", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can someone help me find this for my dad?", "post": "When my dad was growing up, his father used to come home from work and would try to entertain them with different little toys and other things he would bring with him. One of the things my dad always told me was his favorite was a lightbulb that my grandpa would put into his mouth (Not the large end, mind you, but the actual part you would screw in) and somehow light it up. He would let them touch it and look at it, but they couldn't find a switch or anything that would light it up. They still have no idea how it worked and my grandpa died about 15 years ago. \n\nDoes anyone know where I can find one of these, if they exist still, or how they work?\n\nThank you!", "summary": "Grandpa had a light bulb he could light up by putting the narrow end into his mouth. I'm looking for one like it."} {"id": "t3_10o53l", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, my grandad has cancer. How do you deal with mortality?", "post": "This is a bit of a cry for help. My grandad was diagnosed a while ago with bladder cancer, but given his incredibly poor health choices and age, it's a miracle nothing this bad appeared sooner. \n\nThe medication and radiotherapy that he is currently undergoing has slowly been chipping away at his demeanour for the past 3 months, but only when I saw him today, barely concious and in a lot of pain, trying to smile, did it suddenly hit home. I knew that I would have to deal with it at some point, but I guess I just figured I'd cross that bridge when I came to it.\n\nThis isn't my first dealing with death. When I was 7 I watched my other grandad die slowly of brain cancer. He was a man who made some wrong choices, but always with the right intention. My father also died very suddenly when I was 15, which I was also unlucky enough to witness first hand. Those two men deserve far more than this paragraph alone, but I'm trying to keep things concise. These things, amongst others, have been the cause of the past 6 years of my life being severely depressed. Recently I have come out of it, but there are times when even small things get to me.\n\nI have always had incredibly supportive friends and family, and my SO, who puts up with all my crap and stands by me through everything, but even with these things there are moments in my life where the brutality of it all pins me to the floor.", "summary": "I don't know how I'm going to deal with the death of my grandfather when it inevitably comes, even having experience with death before. What the hell should I do?"} {"id": "t3_17cb38", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is my guy-friend (15m) interested in me (15f)? If so, how can I gently say no?", "post": "So the story is this.\n\nI've known this guy (Tom) since we were 11 (4 years as friends). He's a nice guy, goofy and fun to be around. We just started staying after school on Mondays in the leisure rooms where we drink tea and study, draw, exchange funny videos or gossip together. We've decided to do it every Monday, though we only done it twice before.\n\nTwo days ago it was my birthday. On that day Tom and I were walking alone down an empty hallway when he says 'You know, winstonspoke, I've been thinking.\" \n\nI turned to him and saw that he was pale, sweaty and incredibly nervous looking. My brain immediately goes to, 'oh my god? Is he asking me out?'.\n\nBut then he says 'since it's your birthday and we have tea together, I should buy you tea on the weekend as a present and we can drink it together. What kind of tea do you want?'\n\nI answered quickly, got to class and then ran to my girl friend. I told her about the encounter and how it confused me. She responded with 'Don't worry, he's just a nice guy, he does this to everyone. Tons of other girls think he has a crush on them.' \n\nNow I agree with her. Tom is a nice guy, more friendly than the other guys in our grade, girls often think that he is interested in them while he is not. But it felt different than his usual kindness.\n\nSchool ends, I talk to my other girlfriend and she says that he probably likes me. Then she asks how would I react if he did ask me out. I've decided I don't want to date him. I don't want to date at 15, nor do I find him to be pleasing in that way. He's a friend, that's all. \n\nBut I'm not even sure if he likes me that way. What do you guys think? And how should I deal with it?", "summary": "Guy friend maybe interested in me, he asked to buy me a gift for my birthday and we have tea after school every Monday. How can I say no politely without ruining our relationship as just friends for 4 years?"} {"id": "t3_2zg306", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] short, girlfriend having random and abusive mood swings", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship now for roughly six months. The first month we were together was absolutely incredible. If I tried to find something to complain about, I wouldn't have a single idea. \n\nHowever since the second month she's had periodic and random mood swings. Sometimes she'll be the romantic, loving person she was when we first started dating, other times she'll be distant, cold, even to the point of not caring. If there were rhyme or reason to this; such as a serious fight, a complicated disagreement, or something going on in her life that'd make her more irritable, I'd understand - but her moods change on the drop of a dime, she goes from laughing to furious in under a second.\n\nFor the last few weeks she's been in one of her better moods, we've had a great time and enjoyed each other's companies in our preferred ways; watching movies together on Netflix, enjoying some literature works we both like, and just generally talking on the phone together while we took part in our individual hobbies. However tonight, because of a simple opinion I had, she turned around and made me to be a villain.\n\nI asked her to talk things out with me, and it became a barrage of unending attacks regarding how I was completely wrong for my opinion, and how even once it was resolved she was well within her right to continue to treat me horribly.\n\nAt this point I'm at a loss; I want to make things work but sometimes I feel like she's grossly unwilling to. This is only made worse by a suspicion that she'll text me in a few hours or tomorrow morning with a sweet apology. I don't want to break up with her, or lose her, but I feel as though I'm being outright abused at this point and any attempt I make to stand my ground turns me into her personal punching bag for the rest of that night.", "summary": "Girlfriend has frequent mood swings which turn her from sweet and loving into distant and abusive, and I'm at a loss as to where to take the relationship."} {"id": "t3_1r0k6h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Word got out that I [M36] bought my uncle [M61] a new truck. Now I've got other relatives asking for help. Going to be an awkward Thanksgiving!?", "post": "Well, I've gotten myself into a really difficult situation and now I'm looking for a way out!\n\nMy uncle's driven the same truck for the past 10 years. He's a hardworking guy and has never asked for a handout. He did an awful lot for me growing up so I wanted to do something nice for him as a way to say thank you. I received my bonus a little early this year and decided to surprise him with a new truck. In all the years I've known him, it was the first time I've ever seen the man cry. It was awesome and I'm glad I did it. He deserved it.\n\nThree of my relatives heard that I bought my uncle a new truck, so now they're expecting me to help them out as well. Each of them have a sob story and have been regularly calling and emailing me to see how I'm doing. I'm not stupid, I know they're only being nice because they want money. The problem is, I'm not going to help them. \n\nWe have a huge family, so I know others are going to approach me as well. (They'll probably ask me face to face at Thanksgiving and/or Christmas). Awkward!\n\nImagine sitting at a huge dining room table and half of the people at table are pissed at you because you won't give them money. Not my idea of fun!\n\nWhat's the best way to handle this? It's probably inevitable but I don't want to have half of my family pissed off at me. TIA!", "summary": "Helped out my uncle, now other relatives want help as well. I have to see all of them for the holidays and I'm not sure how to handle it."} {"id": "t3_37og2k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30M] dating a [30F] who says I need to open up to her. All my ex's have said similar. What am I doing wrong?", "post": "Me [30M] dating a [30F] who says I need to open up to her. All my ex's have said similar. It has been a recurring trend where women assume I am not into them when I really am. If opening up is something everyone else does in relationships I genuinely do not know what that means. I am beginning to wonder if I am just not an emotive person, but how do I make her understand that?\n\nCan anyone give an example of what they would consider their SO opening up to them?\n\nIt's not like I keep secrets or lie to them about anything, although I often keep my negative thoughts to myself. And I don't think I have much baggage in which to unload, I try to live a pretty simple life and don't stress much about other people. I more-or-less live my life as normal when in a relationship, go to movies, dinner and drinks, take a day trip to the beach, etc, and I enjoy the companionship of someone else. Her happiness is naturally important to me and I try to express it and show it by doing nice things like making dinners, taking trips, meeting her friends and family, small gifts etc. But on an emotional level I am clearly missing something.", "summary": "Women accuse me of not opening up to them in relationships. Unsure if I don't not know how to open myself up to others or am an emotionless robot doomed to be alone."} {"id": "t3_2qeqnv", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Ugh, quicky wedding.", "post": "Hey Weddit!\n\nMy FH and I have been together for almost 8 years and engaged for close to 3 we talked about wedding dates when we got engaged but as we had two small children, a house and both finishing school we knew it'd be a while. Originally we were thinking this year and that didn't happen and now his sister is engaged and getting married next fall. We though this was fantastic as it meant we didn't have to worry about planning for a few more years (we both find it stressful) so we were thinking 2017 (his oldest sister was married in 2013 so it'd be two years between each). My grandmas health recently declined and I'm not sure she'll make it another 2 years until our wedding so we were thinking of having a courthouse wedding soon and having our immediate family come then take everyone out for supper after.We still want to have a \"wedding\" eventually maybe a renewal? But when discussing more the JP is only available during certain hours and my FH can't get time off work during the week for it so it's seeming like it'll need to be at night/weekend which means renting somewhere to have the \"ceremony\" so it's turning into a wedding of sorts and we don't have the money currently nor do we want a wedding right now. I'm just wondering if anyone has been through a similar situation or how I would approach FSIL so she understands I'm not trying to ruin her wedding by having a quicky. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions are totally welcome!", "summary": "Elderly grandmother not doing well wants to attend my wedding. FSIL has wedding planned for Nov 2015 don't want to overstep but want to get married so grandmother can be there."} {"id": "t3_3ui9tc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Feelings I [20 M] have about my first girlfriend [19 F] and our relationship of about 2 weeks, not sure I am ready", "post": "So I am in college and got my first ever girlfriend; I have hooked up with people before, also just in college, but never had a relationship. \n\nThe weird part is I was so sure I wanted a relationship, but since we started dating suddenly I am not so sure. I feel myself almost wanting other girls even more badly now (sort of a want-what-you-can't-have type of thing). \n\nI'm not sure if this is a normal reaction to a first relationship or maybe I thought I was more ready and mature then I actually am. Any thoughts?\n\n(We haven't had sex or done anything past 2nd base so could it be sexual frustration?)", "summary": "got my first girlfriend, I was sure I wanted a relationship, now I am distracted by other women, not sure if I should stick with it or whether I'm not ready for a gf."} {"id": "t3_v89mm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Strange Prenup - Is my wife asking too much?", "post": "Hi. I was married last year to wife whom I love very much. I am over 40, she is 35.\n\nShe requested a prenup when we first started talking about kids which I eagerly agreed to as I have already saved for retirement. She agreed that anything I had before we were married should remain my separate property.\n\nWhat she asked is that if she agrees to have our children AND she ever becomes unable to work AND it is well within my means that I always agree to pay for her basic needs even if we divorce. At the top of her list of things she wants covered is healthcare followed by food and shelter and basic bills in a relatively modest way, not an excessive lifestyle, just her needs. \n\nShe is a hard working person. She's not looking for a meal ticket. She loves to work. But she has struggled developing her career over past five years or so partially due to health trouble and a move we made together. She has health concerns that are not life threatening but do impact her earnings potentially. Having kids could make this worse. \n\nI agreed to this when we first decided to marry, but now that she wants to add this to the prenup before she gets pregnant, I wonder if she's asking too much.\n\nI make over 150k+ per year and have already saved for retirement. She makes less than 50k per year and still has student loans.", "summary": "Wife wants to legally bind me to take care of her basic needs indefinitely should she ever not be able to work if she agrees to have our kids. Ok or not?"} {"id": "t3_4kpg26", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "me (M25) read flirty messages from my (F23) gf and I'm afraid of the worst", "post": "I dont know where to go for advice since I dont have a lot of people to talk to but here's a shot. So my GF has been distancing herself from me the past few days. She's made some new friends online to game with recently and is staying up later than usual, one guy specifically lives not but a stone's throw away. And that one guy sent a FB messages to her saying \"I care about you\" \"I'm attractived to you\". I confronted my gf about this and she said she was feeling depressed and felt unattractive so his comments were making her feel better. I wanted to ease my mind and see the messages myself (she has done the same to me when trust was an issue) but she refused saying that is was a private massage and that What she told \" he was trying to cheer me up\" me would be enough. I got worked up from it and began gathering all my possession to leave but she still kept to her story and out of exhaustion from fighting from 4-6am", "summary": "I gave up and went to sleep with the feeling she's hiding something or I'm overreacting to her \" private massages\" so all in all what are your thoughts on this?"} {"id": "t3_31s39u", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by going in dry.", "post": "So, I was getting ready to head off to sleep for the night, and as per usual was going about the things on my pre-sleep to-do list, such as brushing my teeth.\n\nAs I just finished putting the tooth-paste on to my toothbrush, I was about to run some water over it and commence the brushing of the teeth... but I had a moment of just basic clarity, where there were no thoughts and I was just doing what I was doing... and that lead me to forget to put water on my brush and just put it straight in my mouth all dry and weird.", "summary": "Was getting ready for bed, prepared toothbrush for teeth-cleaning, forgot to put water on it, went in dry, decided to make TIFU post with innuendoish title."} {"id": "t3_2mjcq5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm 19 F] and my boyfriend [19 M] of 7 and a half months, our lives are headed in opposite directions and I don't want to get to attached and that I'm in a lost cause.", "post": "I compete in pageants also do modeling, I'm in the visual arts program. He is the best player in football for his position, in the country, and has a very high chance of making it to the nfl. We've talked about what we'd like from our relationship and that if he does get to the nfl he'd still want to be together. Now, I know we haven't been dating for a long time, but knowing that our lives are headed in completely opposite directions puts me on edge and afraid of the future. Through all the people I have dated I've never met a guy as nice as my boyfriend. I guess you could say we're both hopeless - He's also my neighbor. plus, i guess you could say hes a little socially awkward (?) cause he has trouble talking to girls (only spoke to me because i was looking at his computer screen) but thats not really a deciding factor. I do get hit on a lot but ive never felt anything towards any guy whose come up to me because i feel like i have everything i want already. Lastly, we have no secrets. I can look through his phone and fb and he doesn't care and he can do the same although we choose not to - I jokingly swipe through. There's a lot more but I don't want this to get to long.", "summary": "Would a pageant/model girl be able to keep dating a pro football player, should she keep dating him even though people say the chances of staying together are slim, will the circumstances let it work?"} {"id": "t3_1zkpkc", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "Flights to Korea in May", "post": "Hello r/travel,\n\nI am planning on flying to Korea this May (middle to end of the month). I have been searching various sites and gathering prices. I am wondering if anyone thinks that the flight prices will rise more than they have in the last week. I looked at flying into Tokyo (Narita) or Seoul then catching another flight to Busan (my final destination in Korea).\n\n Details:\n\n --- Flying out of Denver (beginning 15 May)\n --- Willing to either connect in Narita or Seoul to fly to Busan or make Seoul my last airport stop and catch a bus south to Busan.", "summary": "Should I buy whatever flight will get me to Korea now or wait to see if the price drops in a few weeks? It is currently around $725 one way."} {"id": "t3_1qgpno", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is my [23M] dating apathy normal?", "post": "Hey I'm a 23M just living my life and trying to have fun. I got out of a difficult 1.5 year relationship about six months ago, but went NC after hooking up for a few months, four months ago.\n\nSince then I've hooked up with a few women, and have briefly dated a bunch but I've ended all of them after a few weeks at most. \n\nAlthough I'm happy being single and really enjoying my space, and freedom to devote time to friendships and work, lately I have been yearning to have a partner. \n\nI met a cute girl the Friday night. Got her number and set up a date for tomorrow night (night has been reserved but I haven't confirmed plans yet). The thing is, now I'm totally apathetic about it. I barely know her and it just seems like energy and time. What is the point? I'm not that enthusiastic about this at all, but I feel like I need to put myself out there to meet people and move on with my life. \n\nAnyway don't know what to do. Part of me wants to go on the date and see what she is like, part of me just wants to cancel or make an excuse.\n\nAnyone else feel like this? How do I get out of the apathy phase, or do I just go with it?", "summary": "Apathetic about dating, but have a desire to put myself out there and be social. Unsure of whether or not I should proceed with a date I've set up."} {"id": "t3_2hl1d0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Help! My [21/F] roommate [20/F] walked in on me post-masturbation. How do I not make this awkward?", "post": "It's about a month in in our living together. She's fairly conservative and Asian, and I'm supposed to be fairly conservative too. On the weekends she leaves town by 7 pm, and we don't regularly communicate, so around 9 I thought the coast was clear. I finish around 9:30 in a glow lying naked. Before I even realize it, the door is open and she (and the hallway) can see me in the buff. I quickly snap a blanket over me (too late!) and lie there, pretending to be asleep as she packs ands leaves, turning off the light. How should I address the issue so we can still be amicable? Did I fuck up everything? Her friends are my friends and I don't want to lose them. Should I be direct or pretend nothing happened?", "summary": "Should I leave a note, text her now, or just pretend nothing happened? Also, don't suggest asking me to hook up with her, I'm completely serious here and no pms please"} {"id": "t3_18frri", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Me [20/M] and my boyfriend [30/M] are going nowhere, is this okay?", "post": "My boyfriend and I, of the last two years, have a very happy, cute, fun relationship full of good sex and laughs. We may have the occasional fight but I really can't see anything breaking us up unless I were to choose to end it. Here's the problem, we rarely talk about serious things, but his work is considering assigning him to a new project and we discussed what he finds acceptable in terms of how long he's gone.\n\nHe answered \"whatever it takes,\" which I clarified further to mean that is pretty much willing to spend 3 months at a time in a foreign country without me (at all). This hurts a little because I have refused to study abroad in college to do exactly this to him (and our relationship). I honestly thought our relationship was past this by now. \n\nIn the end, this made me really think and realize our relationship isn't going anywhere no matter how crazy we are about each other and I can't really figure out why. I can't picture myself with anyone else (and I know he feels the same) but am confused at both the problem and what I should do. Advice?", "summary": "boyfriend is willing to leave me for 3 months at a time (which doesn't really bother me) but realizing that after 2 years our relationship isn't very serious does."} {"id": "t3_18zmih", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "How Do I Come Out More Mature?", "post": "I did a stupid thing and dated within my friends circle. I know, I know. Lesson Learned. But now I have a new problem.\n\nThis group of friends go out for breakfast every Saturday Morning. It's become a tradition that we've come to look forward to. We go to the same delicious restaurant with fair prices, and the wait staff knows us all by name.\n\nMy ex and I continued to attend after the breakup. We looked past the awkwardness because the tradition had become so important (and fun!). But now a new obstacle has presented itself. He has acquired a new girlfriend who has no taste for my presence. Thus, he set an ultimatum for our friends circle: It's either him or me.\n\nWhat do I do? Do I continue to go with my nose high, saying that he can stay home (since this is just childish)? Or do I put my pride to work, and step back so as to avoid any of this ridiculousness? Which option would make me more mature?\n\n::", "summary": "My ex wont come to mutual friend gatherings if I'm there. Do I continue to go, or step back? Which is more mature?"} {"id": "t3_11bvjl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "r/relationships... am I[18M] an overly attached boyfriend?", "post": "We've been in a long distance relationship for about 5 months now, and it's been amazing. However, the past week or so, when we text she seems uninterested. She used to actively converse with me and it was great, but now she's just throwing one liners at me. She never really contributes to the conversation either. I constantly find myself struggling to come up with a topic to talk about because she just doesn't contribute anymore. It makes me feel like she just doesn't want to talk to me anymore, and it sucks really. Just the other day we were typing to each other on skype, when she told me she was going to do something right quick. She was \"gone\" for an hour, but was posting on a website we both go to during that time.\n\nAm I overreacting? I just really hate how it makes me feel..\n\nThanks reddit.", "summary": "Girlfriend of 5 months acts like she doesn't want to talk to me, makes me feel like shit, what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1gjak9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Me: 24/m. My divorced friends M/24 F/23. Clean-up?", "post": "I'm friends with this couple that recently got divorced (about 2 months ago). I met her fiance-at-the-time through her and I was a groomsmen in their wedding. I hang out with him more than I hang out with her, but they were usually together anyway. The girl was VERY adamant about trying to hook up with me even while they were together. I never did, even though she's a solid 8.5/10 (redhead). Now that they're divorced, I was curious if there was a time frame before I let myself get a little bit more friendly. Note: I don't necessarily want to/ have to have sex with her, but it seems like that's what she wants. She's coming down from where she lives (about 2 hours North) to come hang out in my city, as she has family here. She wanted to spend the night at my house, which I ok'd because we have a spare bedroom and they've hosted me on myriad occasions. I guess I just wanted to know if it was ok to LET something happen. My male friend had told me that he'd prefer I didn't but if I did, he didn't want to know about it. Aghhhh", "summary": "A (girl)friend of mine just recently got divorced from one of my good friends as of two months ago. She wants it, can I give it to her?"} {"id": "t3_lduqt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I stop feeling ashamed when I tell people I'm going to art school?", "post": "I'm currently majoring in 3d animation, focusing on 3d modeling with the ultimate goal being to work at a game developer when I graduate. I'm 1 1/2 years in and while I really enjoy what I'm doing, every time I have to tell someone I go to an art school it feels like I'm being punched in the gut. I always immediately mention I'm majoring in 3d animation, a legitimate career, with the hope that it'll stop them from picturing me as one of the more negative stereotypes of art students. \n\nI guess I'm just not the artsy type. My hobbies are much more science oriented, and I particularly love astronomy. If I ever have free time to let my mind wander, it's very rarely about anything related to art. But I love 3d modeling because it lets me take something from my imagination and create it on a computer screen, no matter how complex it may be. And there are a fair amount of paths I can take my career with it, as opposed to my other hobbies, like astronomy. But while I will feel proud to tell people I'm a 3d modeler when I get hired as one, I just feel ashamed to currently be an art student, instead of, say, an astronomy student, a physics student, a medical student, an engineering student, and so on.", "summary": "How do I overcome my shame of being an *art* student and turn it into something I'm content with being, if not proud to be? "} {"id": "t3_1rzgnv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, which has the highest probability of bringing me happiness down the road: having kids or not having kids?", "post": "In the next few years I'm coming up on a decision that affects the rest of my life: whether to have children or not.\n\nAll of my guy friends who have children love their children, of course, but also talk non-stop about the freedom of their childless days. Days when they could go on a journey on a moment's notice as a single man or with a wife/girlfriend... take the time to pursue the things that made them happy (hobbies, interests, risks)... essentially days with less responsibility. They are rarely able to come out for birthday celebrations among friends, planned weekend getaways, involve themselves with sports teams, usually because they have the responsibility of looking after their kids.\n\nMy question is this: do you find there is a better chance of fulfillment in a life where you have kids or don't have kids?\n\nWhen I look at religion, I would consider myself a philosophical agnostic but practical atheist. I'm a scientist, so although I don't base my life decisions on the existence of an afterlife or god, I don't rule out the possiblity that there is a higher power -- even if that possiblity is infinitesimally small. Of course, if I had to bet my life on whether there existed a higher power or not, I would bet that there is not. For me, for a decision like that, it is a philosophical probability calculation of sorts. In my mind there is more proof that there is no higher power (although not with 100% certainty).\n\nSo when I apply this logic to the notion of having children, I think to myself: I can't predict the future with ultimate certainty. Given that I am immensely happy now (early 30s, long-term girlfriend), is the probability higher that living a life without children will make me happier and more fulfilled than a life without children, or higher for the contrary?", "summary": "I live my life as if there is no god, even though I'm agnostic. I'm happy now and don't know if having children will make me more happy or less happy. Should I have children?"} {"id": "t3_10kd59", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "24/M Ex 23/F is trying to talk again.", "post": "Throwaway EX is on. reddit\n\nSo here is the deal, it was an on/off again relationship for about 4 years. Had some shit go down neither of us were able to deal with like adults. Ended it about 2 years ago, haven't said a word to each other in at least a year and a half. Not a word not a FB hello nothing, zero, zilch, nada. \n\nA week ago the e-mail saying \"hi, how are you.\" Leads to the exchanging of phone numbers etc. After having a couple of conversations with her I realize I want no part of being with her. \n\nHowever I do still enjoy her company. What I need from you all is to tell me how exactly you would go about putting a EX-SO in the friend zone. \nHelp me out here people, I can't date her; WON'T date her. But I want her in my life. Make me some magic internet.", "summary": "Ex is interested in reconnecting, I'm not. I need all your best advice M/F to help me friend zone her."} {"id": "t3_42n4b2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (31M) afraid that I have too high of a sex drive and it's causing personal problems and potentially affecting my marriage.", "post": "I feel like for around ten or fifteen years ever since I was in my teens and early 20's, I've had a really crazy sex drive. Even after I've been married to a great wife for a long time now, I hasn't really gone away. I'm starting to be concerned, and I'm not sure how to handle this.\n\nIt's caused so many issues for me that I'm just not comfortable with. I feel like I'm addicted to porn more than should be normal. Even some days when my wife and I have great sex, I'm still looking at it and masturbating hours later. I also feel so guilty for looking at other women in some places. I try so hard to just watch the TV while I'm at the gym, but I feel like I can't help myself from looking or fantasizing when I see other women working out.\n\nI just don't get it. I have a very attractive wife and I should be more than fulfilled, but I just feel like I'm never really getting enough. I just always have an appetite for more, and it consequently makes me feel so guilty too.\n\nI love my wife very much and could never bring myself to act on anything outside of what we have, which is why I feel so much guilt for always feeling like this. I really just don't know how to make these feelings go away and feel like I could use some advice or help.", "summary": "I have a very high sex drive and appetite for sex, and it's causing problems for me personally, and I'm afraid it could cause issues in my marriage later on if I don't figure out what to do."} {"id": "t3_ul7g2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, why do we faint in response to pain/physical shock? Is it a physiological response or a psychological one?", "post": "Alright so I was wondering, why is it that we faint in response to pain? At first, I thought it was just a response to excruciating pain that the mind couldn't handle (or something or other along those lines). But that didn't seem to check out entirely.\n\nSee, what got me wondering this whole thing was I remembered an instance from a few years ago. I was playing baseball, and I tried to bunt for a base hit. If you don't know, that means I hide it and square really late, to use both speed and the element of surprise to leg out a base hit. Well, the guy was throwing roughly 90 mph, and he buzzed me up and in. It was coming straight at my face, and since I squared late, I didn't have enough time to really get out of the way. Naturally, I put the bat up and blocked my face. It worked, except the ball hit directly on the middle finger of my right hand.\n\nWell as you can imagine, it wasn't pretty. My finger ballooned to the size of a hot dog wiener in about two minutes. In fact, it got so fat that the top layer of my skin split just from sheer pressure. \n\nNow while it looked disgusting, it wasn't nearly as painful as you'd expect. It was bleeding everywhere, and it did hurt, but by no means was I in this earth shattering amount of pain (I actually tried to step back in the box before I realized it was hurting about 30 seconds later). Yet while I was at the hospital, about 30-45 minutes later, I suddenly became very thirsty, my vision blurred a little bit, I started seeing stars, and I got a little jelly-legged. I didn't faint, but I was very damn near to it, and the nurse made sure to sit me down before it happened. \n\nThis story seems to kind of rule out the \"pain\" theory. There has to be something else going on. So why is it that we faint in response to pain or physical shocks?", "summary": "Finger got hit by a 90 mph fastball. I was in pain but not mind-bending pain, yet still almost fainted. Why?"} {"id": "t3_1wb2l2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with gf [21 F] of 14 months, best break-up ever (?)", "post": "I've been a lurker for some time, but now I want to share my story with you.\n\n---\n\nThis morning, I broke up with my girlfriend of 14 months.\nI was so afraid to tell her that I don't love her anymore, but I took all my courage and knocked on her door.\nI started to babble about how much I'm sorry for doing this and that I want to end the relationship. Tears were shed and after a few minutes she turns to me and says: 'It's okay.'\n\nShe smiled at me and hold my hand to reassure me that everything's gonna be fine.\nI wasn't prepared for such a reaction and I just started to ball my eyes out for a good 10 minutes or so. She sat beside me, her hand on my shoulder and telling me that everything's gonna be okay.\n\nShe stayed calm and comforted me\u2026although I was the one breaking her heart. After half an hour, I decided to leave her alone and went home.\nI was standing in her door when she smiled at me and said: 'Hey, we can still be friends.'\n\n---\n\nBack at home I started to get a bad feeling about this and started to rethink my decision.\nI'm still sitting here in front of my computer, bewildered at what happened this morning.\n\nI don't know what to think of it...", "summary": "I [23 M] broke up with gf [21 F], she took it like a champ and in the end I was the one crying my eyes out."} {"id": "t3_3rk893", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by giving a charity a smoke bomb.", "post": "This happened a few hours ago.\n\nOutside one of my local grocery stores today was a charity collecting money to help disabled people find jobs suitable for them. I saw this as a good cause having experience with a, now stable, person who has a mental disorder. I reached into my right pocket and pulled out a few quarters to put in the donation box (similar to those of the Salvation Army).\n\nAs I walked away I heard a person behind me say in a semi-loud tone \"What the hell?\" I immediately turned around and was shocked to see the donation box erupting smoke from the top. At first I was wondering how the hell money catches on fire like that, then my face reddened.\n\nNervously and cautiously I proceeded to reach into the same pocket from which I pulled the donated quarters. I pulled out another coin and realized it was a special coin that made a very small explosion and released a large amount of smoke.\n\nNow you're probably wondering why the hell would I carry one of these coins around. Well, I am a street magician. I perform tricks and usually carry around a few of my magical items just in case I feel like doing one. It just so happened today I decided to carry some smoke emitting fake quarters in my pocket.\n\nBefore I was able to explain to them what was going on, someone had already called the fire and police department. I asked why the police, and they said the donations box looked like a bomb. After the two arrived I explained myself and was asked a few questions about my quarters.\n\nIn the end everyone told me that I shouldn't pull that shit, even after I explained to them it was an accident. I am now afraid to show my face in front of the store because everyone knows me as the \"guy who made a fake bomb\"\n\nI am going to go back tomorrow and explain myself further and hopefully not get any dirty looks from people.", "summary": "Accidentally donated a magic fake quarter that emits smoke everywhere to a charity in front of a store. The police were called and everyone thought I made a bomb. "} {"id": "t3_2u8fmf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I feel that if I [20F] and my bf [19M] don't live together it ruins our relationship.", "post": "Im right now with my bf for almost half year and i feel that i need to live with him. Everyday when im in work i dream to about after end job back to home and hug him. We love each other but for me - and for he too as he say - we spend to little time together because I'm working a lot + i have own responsibilities, hobbies and shit like that. My boyfriend only study in weekends and probably he will search a job, but he have less responsibilities than me so he have more time for everything. I thinking of live together. I have two rooms apartment and its perfect for two people. I lived once with my ex bf together and it was good, i want repeat this but my bf is opposed. Why? Only because he live with his ex gf for month and it was boring after two weeks, and he is afraid that we start fight together. What is totally ridiculous because we never fight, we have only some discussion every once in a while if something is wrong in our relationship. I feel that living together is exactly this what I need right now and if we dont live together slowly and slowly it break our relationship. Don't know what doing, yes i talked with him about this and i dont know what more arguments I can use.", "summary": "I want live with my bf but he is scary it ruins everything and im scary that not living together will break our relationship."} {"id": "t3_2zxg3y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my GF [23 M/F] 4 years, our mutual friend recently informed me that she cheated on me", "post": "The other day one of our mutual friends told me that my GF had sex with another guy roughly 3 months ago. \n\nThis friend of mine was dating my GF's best friend for about 3 months before they had lengthy and complicated breakup that finally ended about a week ago. Now that they're finished he has no reason to keep any of her dark secrets especially since we are still friends. \n\nHe heard about my GF cheating on me when he overheard a conversation that my GF and her best friend were having on speakerphone. He was in the room unbeknownst to my GF at the time. He didn't want to say anything to me because his GF (now ex) at the time threatened to break up with him if he spilled the beans. We are not the best of friends so that's understandable. His ex is also totally had him wrapped around her finger. But now he owes her nothing and I've been helping him get over this breakup so he felt compelled to tell me. \n\nMy GF is denying this and her friend are denying this. My GF isn't angry at this accusation, just more sad about it which is a little telling. The guy who questionably banged my GF also denied this. I knew they were friends from a long time ago so I didn't think twice about them hanging out but now it all makes sense that this happened.\n\nI wish I had evidence to prove this because as of now all I have is my friend's word. My friend deleted all his convos and changed his number after his bad breakup so there's no evidence there. I trust him but I just don't know what to do and who to believe.", "summary": "Friend told me my GF cheated on me. All I have is his word and no real evidence or confessions. I want to leave her but not having evidence is making it hard."} {"id": "t3_24p5u2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20 F] boyfriend [21 M] of 9 months is a film-maker and has got an offer to direct softcore and fetish films.", "post": "My boyfriend is going through film school, and received an offer from a friend of his to direct a bunch of No-Budget Softcore and Fetish Films. The kicker is that the friend of his, is the woman who is going to be starring in them and who he dated for 6 months back when they were in High School. When I told him I wasn't sure how I felt about it, he assured me it's \"not porn\", but just erotica, and that fetish wise, there is nothing harder than spanking, and that lots of directors started out doing this sort of gig for money, and that what he felt for her is over, and he sees her as nothing more than a friend now. He is struggling financially and it would be good for him monetary wise and even practical experience wise, but I won't lie, it makes me feel uncomfortable with the idea of him surrounded by naked women, especially considering he had a thing with one of them a while ago.\n\nAm I reading too much into this, or should I put my foot down with this?", "summary": "Filmmaker Boyfriend got an offer from a friend of his who he dated back in High School to direct a bunch of softcore and fetish films she is in."} {"id": "t3_js8e2", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Want to get to know girl to go out with her, but afraid b/ of bad past relationship. Help?", "post": "Okay, im a guy, she's a girl, and we are both mid-way-ish through high school.\n\nFirst off, first post to anything /r/relationships, and its kinda awkward for me. Please excuse any mistakes I have made.\n\nAnyway, I was at archery when a girl walked in, wanted to shoot for the first time. Being me, polite and have gone to 4 national tournaments, I helped her out a bit with the coach. She accidentally shoots my target and the coach said \"for every time you shoot his target, you own him a kiss\". She ends up owing me 2 kisses. I joke about this, we laugh, and be friendly and pick up her arrows. This continues for the rest of practice (an hour).\n\nShe then gets her friend to ask her for my phone number. I give it, as I'm not an idiot. Problem is I know nothing about her. Her name, age (assuming high school, she looks it), or even if she goes to my school or not. \n\nBecause of this, I'm a little scared. More than the usual nervousness for a kinda nerdy kid in high school. For the fact stated above, and my last relationship didn't end too well. \n\nWe went out for a year, from 8th grade to 9th. We were kinda serious, at least for the age (emotionally, not physically. She never let me \"make out\" with her :/ )but, in short, was verbally abusive. Lots of insults, most hurtful being asking for me to change my personality and then pointed to a guy with the personality she liked. Broke up with her felt great. A year later, and here we are.\n\nSo I don't want this to happen again, but I want to be in other relationship. I miss it... so much.", "summary": "Girl asked my #, gave her it. Now I want to go out with her, after I get to know here. But bad ending of last relationship and not knowing her at all are in my way."} {"id": "t3_41a0h8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my Girlfriend [22 F] of 2.5 years, can't help but feel unsure about her", "post": "I have been with my girlfriend for 2.5 years now, and it feels like we are getting to a point where it is time to decided if we are going to move forward with our relationship or not. \n\nI have been having mixed feelings about the situation, but am not sure if they are actual feelings or if I am just panicking about making a commitment. \n\nI feel like I have always been describing her in my head when I think about an ideal partner, but for some reason I keep thinking if there might be someone better. But I am afraid I am just having a fear of commitment and am trying to find any reason not to. \n\nAnd because of this I have been distant to her lately, and I don't have any real reason to be except for 'I sort of feel weird', which to me just feels like a cop-out. \n\nThe only real issue I can say we have, is communication. She shuts down when she is upset, and it can be difficult to get out what is actually bothering her. But that being said she has been working on it and is getting better at expressing herself. \n\nWe don't currently live together, but it is getting to that point where it is time to jump in, or go our separate ways. \n\nAm I just throwing my own personal fears onto the relationship? Or am I in a situation that I should be getting out of?", "summary": "I am worried that I am looking for problems in the relationship when there is nothing actually wrong, and I just have a fear of commitment."} {"id": "t3_1zwhtd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] began to recently speak to my new interest [19F], receiving signals but need help on clarification.", "post": "So before I go into details, let me paint the picture. I started the spring semester without any intention of looking for an SO, but the moment this girl walked into my class and sat next to me, I couldn't help but think she was attractive as hell(I'll go ahead and call her E). It was the first day of class, so the professor is explaining the syllabus and other crap, and as the professor continues, out of the corner of my eye I find E just completely looking at me and smile at one of my remarks. I make an effort to turn and talk to her but she quickly avoids eye contact and looks at her phone.\n\nFast forward to February and I decide to strike a conversation, so I decide to ask her about her running apparel, and we end up talking for bit before she says she has to go for track practice. We shake hands, exchange names and smiles and part ways. Over the next 4 weeks I don't see E because of what I think is a busy track schedule. Then this past week, on Wednesday she actually showed up to class, and I made conversation after class again. We start talking about how her recent out of state competition was, and our majors, and just exchanging laughs as I walked her to her dorm. When we arrived at her dorm, E initiated a hug and thanked me for walking with her to her dorm. As E was walking away, I decided to call out her name, and she turned around with an obvious smirk on her face, and I asked if she wanted to go to concert with me, because I had an extra ticket. E said that she would've liked to go with me, but that she already had plans for that day. We smile and go our separate ways again, only to remember that I forgot to ask for a number. I decided to go for it yesterday, but unsurprisingly, she didn't show up for class.\n\nI feel like I'm getting signals of interest from her, but I can't help but think that she is merely being polite. I also think I have a really small sample size of our one to one conversations, to act accordingly. Anybody got some input for a fellow single college student?", "summary": "Single college student who may or may not be getting signals from fellow classmate (who's athletic schedule keeps her busy), but can't seem to think of it as anything more than kindness."} {"id": "t3_2m6xe3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by having people in my mom's home.", "post": "Once upon a time, I decided to have some friends over during the day while my mom and sister were at school and work. I smoke and so I thought it would be a great idea to smoke a blunt inside the house. I never smoke blunts so I didn't know about the lingering smell of one. \n\nSo we were chilling and playing pool and music in the basement blowing most of the smoke out the window of course for a few hours before my mom gets home and as time went by and we realize it smells a bit around the living room area from the basement, we open up some windows for a bit before we leave. \n\nMy mom comes home from work a few hours later and calls me \"Who was in my house smoking weed?!\" (Note: She's black and pretty religious so...she's yelling) and...I pretty much end up lying to her, get caught lying and telling her she won't smell smoke in her house ever again from me.", "summary": "I got caught smoking inside my mom's house not knowing blunts linger hella long and that it supposedly smelled for 2 days with the windows open and the whole living room being frebreezed to death."} {"id": "t3_3ao6nc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[17 F] My boyfriend [17] is going on a backpacking trip", "post": "I'm sure I'll be blown off because of my age, but I am having a nervous breakdown. Recently things have been exceedingly hard, and I'm having a hard time coping. My boyfriend has been there for me and is a sweetheart, we don't fight and I never have to worry about anything with him--- until now. \n\nHe's going on a two week backpack trip and I can't contact him whatsoever. For some reason, despite knowing he would never in a thousand years cheat on me, I worry he will find another girl on the trip and like her more than me. I'm trying so hard to reason with myself but I have this paralyzingly fear this trip will make him not like me. I know it's unreasonable and I'm overreacting, but I don't know what to do. This is the first time we've been apart for a long time and I miss him terribly. He said he loved me and he'd write a journal everyday about his trip like I asked him to so he'd be able to remember it. \n\nDoes anyone have any advice or can help me? I feel ashamed of myself for freaking out so badly. I feel embarrassed just writing this but I really want some help or kind words. \n\n(I'm on mobile so sorry for any spelling errors or weird words.)", "summary": "Boyfriend leaving for 2 weeks and can't talk to him, irrational fear he'll fall out of love with me."} {"id": "t3_4fxsym", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25 M] had a threesome with my roommate[25 M] and his girlfriend [24 F] and now there's tension.", "post": "My roommate has been dating an old friend of mine for the past year. I've always found her attractive but due to them being involved, never done anything about it. A few weeks back, they asked me to have a threesome with them, and even though I felt weird about it, I went ahead with it. I was worried it might lead to latent feelings for her coming out, but I managed to keep a lid on them, or so it seems. \n\nHowever, my roommate now doesn't trust me, and thinks we might cheat on him. I tried to convince him that there is nothing between us, but he can't be convinced. It weird because since she used to be a good friend of mine before they met, there have been times when we've been at home watching a movie, and he walks in all suspicious, and saying he doesn't trust us.\n\nThis is hurting all of us, and I don't know what to about it. I've been friends with this girl for over 10 years, and roommates with this guy for 5, and I don't wanna end it over a non existent thing.", "summary": "I [25 M] had a threesome with my roommate[25 M] and his girlfriend [24 F] and now there's tension."} {"id": "t3_117o5j", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Adjusting to new job, regret leaving old one", "post": "I just recently got promoted (yay) as a trainee for a job. I prefer not to say what industry it is in. To get this job I had to transfer work locations (same industry) leaving behind a lot of friends. The place I used to work at was great, I had been there 6 years. \n\nMy new work location I expected to be very similar, similar crews and routine. However I just met the crew and was totally shocked. It's completely different, what is bothering me the most is everyone is segregated to themselves. I hate the atmosphere compared to my old job. Even at lunch everyone separates. I seriously regret the transfer right now. I could have pursued the same position at my old work location but unfortunately the place is planned to shut down and I have a long career to think about.\n\nHow did you adjust to your new position? Did it take long? I could go back but that would entail being a quitter, potentially leaving me not able to pursue this position ever again, and also risking my career length as I could lose my job eventually at the old location (not likely, but not unlikely either). Has anyone ever beein in a similar situation and stayed or left, how do you feel about your choice?", "summary": "Changed work locations to be promoted, new atmosphere has got me feeling depressed. Can I adjust, or should I go back?"} {"id": "t3_cg0lp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is it possible to fight to pay the bills?", "post": "If I wanted to become a professional fighter to pay the bills and work my way through college, where would be the easiest place to start? Here's my plight:\n\nI'm working my way into a rough spot on money, living as a college student holding down a fulltime-ish job to pay my car note and rent and other stuff. I'm about to move on to a full-blown university which costs 4x as much as my current community college. I'm going to have to take a ton of loans out and I'm a little scared of being $60K in debt by the time I get my B.A. or B.S., whichever route I end up going.\n\nI've reached a fun point in my quest to get into shape. I no longer get sore, even if I work out for hours, and I can run several miles comfortably. I quit smoking and started kicking my own ass this way daily and it's showing really satisfying results. I know I'm not built to be a professional-grade fighter yet, but I think it could potentially be in the cards if I can find the right place to get started.", "summary": "Anybody know much about the world of professional fighting? Any discipline works, as long as I can eventually turn it into a pay day."} {"id": "t3_261uxd", "subreddit": "self", "title": "A few thoughts.", "post": "I've heard that one of the greatest fears is of the unknown, but when I was much younger the unknown was what drove me to discover. Anything and everything within earshot or eyesight was soaked up and provoked endless questions. \n\nAs I grew older my curiosity made me dig through books and lectures to find information to fill my head with. There would be debates, arguments, appetites for information that couldn't be quenched. I used to get furious and thirsty for discussion when there was an opinion that differed or challenged mine. Some people would say \"You've lost your mind!\" in response to an idea I'd have.\n\nOlder still and my thoughts began to waver and I realized how little I knew. I would think back on experiences I had growing up, and what may come in the future. Had I isolated myself, become too engrossed, or done things I'd like to forget?\n\nMy mind slips and I've lost a thought here and there, I notice I can't recall where I've been a few days ago. There is a picture on the wall and the name of the man there escapes. My son told me it was me when I was much younger than I am now. Everything seems to be eroding in to the unknown, and what was once my childhood fascination has become my greatest fear.", "summary": "I was just watching an episode of The West Wing where CJ Cregg has a father that is suffering from the symptoms of a brain disease and it made me want to write something."} {"id": "t3_2p1i3o", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "A strange situation with my coworker.", "post": "So yeah this is my throwaway, since a lot of people I work with are on reddit. Here's the thing:\n\nI started a new job a few months ago. There's this girl that I work with who I thought was kind of cute, but quickly discovered she wasn't my type after a few conversations/light flirtation. I never asked for her number or to hang out outside of work, and have never given her any indication that I want to be anything other than coworkers. We never really talked about it, and I had assumed that we were coworkers who were friendly with one another. Sounds okay right?\n\nWell today I found out she has been telling people that we work with that I'm \"creepy\" \"weird\" and \"annoying\". She also seems to be under the impression that I'm stalking her, despite the fact I've never seen her outside of when we work together. Normally, I'd chalk this up to attention seeking behavior and forget about it, but people are acting strangely around me now. It is making work unpleasant, and I'm afraid it could get me in trouble and cost me my job. I'm afraid to confront her, because I don't know what she might do. She has been there a lot longer than I have, so people are more likely to believe her than me. I'm just at a loss. I really have no idea what to do here.", "summary": "Despite barely interacting with a coworker, she accuses me of being creepy and stalking her. Worried this might get me in trouble/fired."} {"id": "t3_4me28p", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "[Help] Please help me understand why my dog is acting this way!", "post": "I live in India where its common to see stray dogs and 9 months ago I found my dog Milo. She was only a puppy, barely 2 weeks old when i found her outside of my local supermarket. No one even looked at her but you could tell she was starved and looking for someone to love her. Me and my sister took her home. We showered and fed her and for the first week she was completely distant. But she slowly started opening up and eventually became a part of the family. My mom is the main caretaker now as I got busy with college and my sister went back to America. We are planning on sending Milo to America too in August so we made all preparations, including getting her spayed. This is where the problem started. The surgery went fine with no complications, however they did not have a cone to stop her from reaching the sticthes. We tried to use a muzzle but she could still get to them and she removed the stitches 2 times. After the second time we decided to make our own cone out of cardboard and it worked perfectly. She was a little out of it when we put on the cone but she quickly adjusted by the next day. After about 20 days the wound was starting to close and we decided to give her a bath. We took the cone off and she didn't seem different. HOWEVER once we put the cone back on she started acting more aggressive. She would start biting at my mom, me and the furniture. Up until now she had never shown any signs of aggression. My mom finally got fed up and started to tie her up every time she acted like this. I thought it was a little to far but it seems to work as she just barks for a little bit then goes back to chewing her towel and bed. Could anyone please help me understand why my dog is acting this way? I've been completely flustered and frustrated these last week and don't know what to do.", "summary": "Adopted dog off of street. Got her spayed. Put on a cone. Once I took off the cone she started acting more aggressive and biting everything."} {"id": "t3_4pmyo9", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by giving a vending machine a $20 bill", "post": "This happened last night.\n\nMy girlfriend and I are staying overnight at a hotel to go to Hershey Park in the morning. Both of us needed water because god knows why the air was so dry. So I got out of bed and told her I was gonna go look around for one of the vending machines to get water. I forgot I didn't have any single bills left and thought I'd be okay using my credit card.\n\nHere's where the fuck up started.\nI got to the vending machine (which was right around the corner from my room) and noticed there wasn't the conventional \"$1.00 and $5.00 bills accepted\" so I thought it'd be okay to use a $20 bill instead of my credit card I'd get dollar coins back, right?\n\nAfter I got my drink, I was tired so I had to look reaaaaal close to see that there were quarters coming out instead.\n\nGot $18.50 worth of quarters back from a vending machine. Instant regret.", "summary": "Used $20 on a vending machine thinking I was gonna get dollar coins, got $18.50 worth of quarters instead."} {"id": "t3_16lazf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Grandmother suffered a stroke in Managua, Nicaragua. Can anyone help?", "post": "My wife's grandmother suffered a stroke in Managua, Nicaragua on Christmas Eve. We spent all day, Christmas Day, searching for tickets for her mom to visit her there and help. This is a third world country and she is in destitute poverty there. The doctor said that she requires physical therapy but her first appointment is not until February. They also said that she requires an adjustable bed. \n\nMy wife did not feel right posting this so I am doing this in order to show her that there are people out there willing to help when things like this happen. \n\nIt's a long shot, but, is there anyone in Managua that can offer us some help? We need help locating a bed for her, getting physical therapy and probably speech therapy and in general someone to look after her. \n\nSpecifically: \n1. Can anyone donate an adjustable bed? \n2. Is there anyone willing to take care of her? We are willing to pay someone to do that.", "summary": "Wife's grandmother suffered a stroke in Nicaragua. We need to get her an adjustable bed and a person to look after her. Please help."} {"id": "t3_36gbz3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F]: A lot of my friends live very far away and I'm finding it hard being socially isolated.", "post": "I recently graduated from university along with some classmates I was friends with. Expectedly, they went their separate ways and now we are stuck with online correspondence. However, I have all these hobbies and things that are social and I'm going stir-crazy with no one to do them with. It makes me feel like no one cares about me, like I don't have any friends even though I know this isn't true.\n\nI feel jealous when my housemates have their friends over and the prospect of having to return to my parents' house when my lease expires near the end of June is giving me anxiety and I usually end up a little teary knowing that definitely zero people will visit me there. It's 45 minutes into the countryside from my house, which is already >1 hour travel away from my friends.\n\nWhat are some things I can do to feel a little more like I did when I was younger and enjoyed solitude & single-people activities? What are some hobbies to do alone? I'm not a very crafty/creative person. Thanks for your advice, hope this is the right subreddit.", "summary": "All my friends live an hour away and when I possibly move home, they'll live even further away. What are some things I can do alone or what are some ways I can feel less lonely?"} {"id": "t3_1wx7cm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [19, M] pathetic for having such a hard time moving on from my ex [21, F]?", "post": "I've been having a ridiculously hard time moving on from my ex. We had a very unhealthy relationship, with her leaving her ex for me, and then leaving me for her ex, with numerous issues in between. But when things were good, things were incredible. She is being very closed off, although we both admit that we're still in love with each other, but that us together isn't the best thing right now.\n\nThe problem is, she has someone (her previous boyfriend of five years, now current boyfriend again) to lead her through this, while I have no one. I fell into the greatest love of my life, and to have my heart broken, and abandoned, is such a soul crushing feeling. But I really loved who I was with her, and the fact that we have to see each other at work never lets the love die. I think about her constantly, and feel so empty without her.\n\nRecently she has been pushing me away (because our talks of missing each other aren't healthy for her relationship, obviously), and although its been two months, I'm still having a really hard time moving on. The two biggest reasons are guilt (flirting with other girls feels like I'm cheating on her), and I just feel I'll never love as much as I did with her.\n\nI guess I just wanted to know if I'm pathetic for being hung onto this for so long, and if there was any advice for fixing this situation. This is all written during a moment where I am very emotional, so I can clarify if ppl have any questions.", "summary": "Having a hard time moving on due to feelings of guilt and loneliness, want to know if its normal/how to fix it."} {"id": "t3_wa7zs", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Question about returning back to university.", "post": "Signed up a few weeks ago. This is my first post. \n\nI (F23) attended a university for 4 years, yet never graduated. Mental, emotional, and physical stress towards the end of my senior year caused me to not return to classes. I never officially withdrew from the university, just never signed up for next semester. I proceeded to pretend I was a university graduate, but without a piece of paper to back me up. \n\nAm wondering if any other people are in the same boat as I am; I'm feeling really lost and hopeless. I want to return and finish what I started and worked so hard for, yet came up short. I feel like I'm being left behind while all my other friends are getting well paid jobs. Feeling like a poser.", "summary": "Went to uni for 4 years, didn't graduate due to emotional stress, want to finish what I started yet don't know how to go about this."} {"id": "t3_2heq0r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] having sexual problems with my new girlfriend [23 F] for the past few days. Sex is hurting her, help?", "post": "So I recently met this girl and we hit it off, we've been dating for a couple weeks now and recently just started attempting to have sex. \n\nShe is REALLY tight. My dick is ~6 1/2 - 7 inches and quite girthy, and she says that sex in general is very uncomfortable and ends up hurting her.\n\nI'm not sure what to do. We've had sex since, and I went a lot slower, but she said that it was nothing but uncomfortable. Is there any way around this?\n\nShe's mentioned that she doesn't want to continue having sex if it's going to hurt this much. This may end up affecting our relationship majorly.\n\nHelp!", "summary": "Have been having sex with girlfriend of couple weeks recently, she feels really uncomfortable during the act and I end up hurting her. Is there anything i can do?"} {"id": "t3_2d2qxc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my [20 F] together 3 years, fell out of love.", "post": "So I've been dating this girl for 3 years and had a perfect relationship. We hung out almost everyday and truly loved each other more than anything. Recently I haven't had as much time to spend with her and she started hanging out with a friend. Then she tells me that se doesn't have the same feelings for me anymore and it isn't fair to me. \n\nAfter the break up she still texts me and wants to hang out with me but doesn't wanna get back together for that same reason. What should I do?I really care about this girl and it's killing me inside to lose her", "summary": "dated a girl for 3 years, perfect relationship, haven't hung out as often, tells me she fell out of love, we breakup, she still talks to me"} {"id": "t3_qxv84", "subreddit": "books", "title": "I was just disappointed by the two later books in \"The Giver\" trilogy. What books in a series do you wish you never read?", "post": "After reading \"The Giver\" in 6th grade, it's always stuck with me. Once or twice a year I'll give this book a read. The ending has always struck me as powerful, because you're left with a kid who's run off and at this point has no one, dying in the snow. In his dying moments he hears music in front of him, and maybe behind him, as a sign of his ultimate sacrifice in order to bring color to the world. I've always seen it as a strong, poetic ending and I think it's shaped much of my philosophy in life. For reference sake I'm now 27.\n\nSpoiler alert. Then I had to go and read books two and three and find out that the kid from The Giver's not dead at all. He went and became leader of another dystopian future-town (that I guess has been inundated with the horrors of capitalism through the Trade Mart?)", "summary": "I wish I never read the followups to The Giver because a central character I had thought poetically died in a classic tragedy is actually alive. What do you wish you never read?"} {"id": "t3_41ydlp", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Living at home (with parents) with no commute to work, living in city with friends 25-35min commute to work??", "post": "I'm 23 went to college, travelled the world for a bit now I'm back at home living with my parents. Don't get me wrong its not like I'm living in the basement playing video games and eating pizza for all meals. I work at fun job (make a decent salary) and it is only a 10 minute commute to work to and from home. My parents house and my job are in a suburban area (Grapevine, Tx) outside the city (Fort Worth, Tx). Here is the problem. After being independent for the last 6 years, living at home... well it kind of sucks tbh. All my friends are living in the city, majority of the single girls my age are living in the city and there is just more to do there. I have chance to move into the city either alone or room with a good friend. The big issue is the commute. It could take me minimum 25 minutes to maximum 45 minutes with most likely an average of 35 minutes. Considering I've never had to really commute to a job before, I'm asking you to help me understand what a commute is like, will it really be that bad and ultimately aid in my choice of moving to the social city or staying in the family suburbs.", "summary": "Remain living at home with parents in friendless suburb only 10 minutes away form my job or move to city filled with friends but make 35 minute commute to work. "} {"id": "t3_1tyyi7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21M] My [21F] GF of 7 months just told me she got her breast groped by her Sister's BF", "post": "So towards the end of of a phone call I was told by my girlfriend that she had her boob felt up by her sisters boyfriend while napping in bed with both the sis and him. She told me that she had to tell me because she felt guilty even if she had \"handled\" it by having a go at him and telling her sister what happened. It turns out the sister was asleep while this groping happened. At first i was pissed off with the sister's BF for obvious reasons and started to tell my GF that i wasn't annoyed at her because i could hear a worried tone in her voice. Then I questioned why she sounded so guilty, it turns out that she let this groping to go on for a couple of minutes. Now my anger is directed at her too.\n\nI can clearly see she feels guilty and horrible for whats happened , i really can! but i just don't know how to react. To add to the mess we are currently long distance and we've planned for her to come and visit me tomorrow. Part of me feels like i need distance so I want to tell her not to come but at the same time I don't get to see her that often! \n\nI need some opinions and advice please on how to react to my girlfriend's confession and not so much on what to do with that asshole.", "summary": "GF got her boobs fondled by sister's BF and allowed it to happen instead of pushing him off. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_2rvtpb", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(32m) My exgf(22f) I am thinking of breaking the N.C because I have found her, her horse.", "post": "I will try to make this brief and please be gentle.\nMy exgf cheated on me over the holidays and I kicked her out and told her not to contact me. We haven't had contact since this happened. When we started dating she told me she was forced to give up her horse and would like to know if she is still alive. Every time anything that has to do with a horse she gets emotional. Being the nice bf I am, I started to look for her horse. fast forward to yesterday: I received an email asking if this was the horse I was looking for. After an hour long Q&A it turns out it was her horse. Do I give this information to her or not?", "summary": "exgf had to give up horse, loves her horse, I found said horse. She cheated on me, do I still give her this info?"} {"id": "t3_2f8evh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my Ex [20 F] together for 7 months, I believe she has BPD", "post": "I believe my ex has BPD. She matched much of the criteria on various sources I researched. She would always lash out but then regret it later. I felt like I was walking on egg shells around her. She always felt like I had abandoned her. One moment everything is fine, next moment she might be packing her bags and leaving my place. \n\nI was always so afraid to commit myself fully to her because I noticed her BPD tendencies really early on. Obviously, I didn't really know what I was experiencing. I very likely didn't handle things the right way.\n\nThere was no telling how unpredictable her reactions would be. She would always feel abandoned by me. Obviously there were lots of different cases of this happening, but there is one that definitely stands out. This one hurt me the most. She had been drinking a lot one night with her friends and I told her I was going to bed. I genuinely just wanted to sleep; it was late. She ofcourse took it the wrong way and got upset, thinking that I was mad at her. She sent me lots of texts immediately expressing anger. \n\nThat night, she cheated on me with a guy she met down town. She told me the next day. Her reasoning was that she felt like she was losing me and that this was the only way she could address her feelings. She said she had been \"falling hard\" for me and didn't know how to control her feelings. I forgave her. I continued to stay with her for another 4 months.\n\nI broke up with her last month. I have been dealing with regret because I essentially quit on her. I feel like I did the best thing for myself and her own growth. However, I still wonder if it could've been handled, if things could improve. Lord knows the good times were great.", "summary": "After further research, I believe my ex has BPD, she matched an overwhelming amount of the criteria; broke up with her a month ago. Should I move on or is this something that we can work things out on?"} {"id": "t3_4zq6cv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [38 M] with my fianc\u00e9e [26 F] 4 years, my ex-wife [37 F] won't leave us alone.", "post": "like the title says.\n\nI was with my ex-wife for 10 years but after being together for so long she said she wanted to spice things up. we tried a lot of different stuff until we both wanted something risky.\n\nshe wanted to sleep with other men while i watched, i was okay with this and liked the idea. we did this for a little while and our sex life improved it was all very hot to us.\n\nshe started getting really into it and i started to feel inadequate so i told her how i was feeling. she said we could stop and we did but my insecurities never went away and ate at me.\n\ni filed for divorce she really did try but i just didn't want to be in this marriage anymore it felt tainted. a year after the divorce i met a very beautiful woman (Nicole) i really enjoyed her company and asked her out.\n\nwe have been together for 4 years now and we are going to have our first child together. my ex-wife is pissed for some reason mostly at the fact that i said i never wanted children.\n\nI did some soul searching and realized i wanted a family and Nicole did as well. my ex is saying all sorts of things like how i wasted her time and how i just traded her for a \"younger tigher whore\" and never loved her.\n\nshe keeps sending my fianc\u00e9e nasty messages and has tried to say that i was cheating on her with my fianc\u00e9e. i don't know what to do and don't know why she is acting like this now.\n\nany idea what to do?", "summary": "My ex-wife won't leave me and my fianc\u00e9e alone and keeps sending us nasty messages. I'm not sure what to do about this."} {"id": "t3_2ovs0t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27M] with my [24F] dating for about a month, but have been friends for 2 years. Unsure how I should go about defining the relationship.", "post": "Background: I have known this girl that I am currently dating for a little over 2 years. When I met her she was in a relationship that ended up lasting 6 years (they just ended it in July). She is a part of a group of friends that I regularly go out with almost weekly, and over the past few months she had begun to get really flirty with me.\n\nShe ended her past relationship (I stayed completely out of this situation, so it was entirely her choice) and was single for a little bit. About a month ago, at my friend's birthday party, she said that she made it goal to be the last one to leave. This was obviously to spend time with me. We talked for hours before she left, then I walked her out to her car and kissed her. She said that it was very unexpected, but also very nice. She came over the next night and we kissed again. After that, she mentioned that she wanted to talk about what our status was. We talked and decided that we were both interested in each other (and had been since we met), but that we really didn't know how we got along romantically, so we decided to date and see where things went. \n\nEver since then, we have been regularly going on dates, often seeing each other a couple of times every week and texting/calling almost every day. We send good morning and good night texts to each other pretty equally. We have escalated to sex and have done that a couple of times. She is constantly telling me that it's \"surreal\" that this could happen because of how long we've had feelings for each other. \n\nThings are going great, but I like exclusivity. I know that she is not that type of person that would probably be seeing other people and I'm definitely not wanting to see other people. How should I bring up that I want something a little more serious? Should I bring that up at about a month in? I know it's not a lot of time for dating, but we've known each other for 2 years and have been pretty good friends for that duration.\n\nThanks for your help!", "summary": "Been friends with a girl for 2+ years and dating romantically for about a month. Should I (and how should I) ask for something a little more serious?"} {"id": "t3_1o1gk5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20F] don't feel mentally stable enough to keep a relationship with my SO [19M]", "post": "As of late I haven't been myself and am very mentally self destructive. I have been together with this guy for six months but have been seeing eachother for a year. I am head over heels for him and he is for me. \n\nThe reason I do not feel mentally stable enough to be with him is because I will get into these weird moods where I don't even want anything to do the world. I get ridiculously sad and will ignore everyone and sit and stare at a wall for hours. I feel like I'm doing it purposely to him but I don't want to hurt him. I can't even explain it properly. I am just generally an ubhappy person 90% of the time and don't think I shouls destroy someone like I do myself.", "summary": "I subconsciously try to hurt my boyfriend by ignoring him and it may be a cry for attention, I don't know."} {"id": "t3_3juksl", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by touching boobs for the first time (Semi-NSFW)", "post": "Okay so this happened around 3 months ago. Keep in mind I'm a guy who likes role-playing and tends to make a lot of puns. So I had been dating this girl for about a month and a bit and things were going really great. \n\nWe were alone one day and we were spooning (I was the big spoon) and I had my hands resting around her waist under her shirt. Eventually she gets an idea and says 'Hey wanna touch my boobs?' And being the horny teenager I am, I'm like 'hell yeah I do!' And thus began the moment I began to fuck up. \n\nOkay maybe it was because I was a bit nervous but for some reason as I started working my way up to her boobs I began to commentate (in David Attenborough's voice) like I was some explorer on an adventure to her boobs. \n\nAfter crossing the Grand Canyon (her belly button) I eventually got to her breasts where I said ' Wow I must have fallen and died in the Grand Canyon because it feels like I'm in heaven'.. I thought it was pretty smooth and I think she thought it was kind of cute. (Looking back she probably didn't it was pretty lame) \n\nBut it didn't last long because I was instantly back into explorer mode. \n'Hmm it looks we've reached uncharted land, I'm going to call it...Boobsville'\nAnd this is where I really started fucking up. \n'Shh I need to watch out for booby traps' I started to giggle a little bit but I kept it together.\n'Don't get too close to the natives, they might give you the Boobonic plague.' At this point I was trying so hard not to laugh I was holding back tears. \nEventually I got to her nipple, where I couldn't help but say 'Wait a second, how the hell did we end up in Nepal' and then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably to the point where I could no longer continue my boob exploration adventure. \n\nShe broke up with me the next day. I'm not sure if it was because of the boob incident but I still don't regret it and I would totally do it all over again.", "summary": "my girlfriend let me touch her boobs and I fell into a booby trap, got the boobonic plague and went to Nepal before we broke up the next day. "} {"id": "t3_1ru4gw", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I (23f) handle my boyfriend's (23m) jealousy?", "post": "We've been together for 2 months and it's been really intense. We're super in love, it's like we're teenagers. He tells me I'm the first girl he's been with that he actually cares for and I believe him. It's also super obvious that he's crazy about me. He treats me really well. \n\nAs for me, it's hard to know exactly how your actions are perceived and interpreted, but I really think it's also pretty obvious that I am crazy about him. We're the couple people roll their eyes at because we're so cheesy. \n\nBut he gets jealous. He doesn't call me names or hurt me physically at all. He's just kind of... Bitchy. \"Oh sure, when HE calls, you go right away. Well go then, I'm not stopping you!\" That kind of stuff. I guess he might be jealous when he's sober, but he only ever acts on it or really shows it when he's had a few drinks. When he does, I usually just try not to antagonize him and try to show him he has nothing to worry about without really giving in too much? I try not to make a big deal out of it, because if either of us have been drinking, it would only make things worse. But it really sucks sometimes. I just want to go out and have a good time with my boyfriend without having to walk on egg shells because he might explode. \n\nHow do I handle this? I'm not blaming him, he can't help feeling this way. But I also don't want to accept it. I'm more than willing to give him time to adjust to being in a relationship, but if there's something I can do, that would make things a lot easier. Thanks!", "summary": "My boyfriend gets jealous when we go out and I would love some advice on how to handle these situations and the jealousy thing in general."} {"id": "t3_3fufrs", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Autopay Accident - How to Best Handle?", "post": "Hey all -\n\nApologies if already posted - on mobile. Have heard good things about yall. Maybe yall can help a newb in need of advice. \n\nSo, I'll jump right to it. I have multiple accounts at the moment. A \"bills\" account with checks, which is used for bills. A savings (with weekly deposits of $25 - not much but trying to save). And a \"fun money\" account through simple for spending/short term savings. \n\nI apparently left an autopay for my car payment turned on in my main bills account and it is posting as we speak. I had already paid the bill manually and didn't get any sort of reminder this autopay was happening until this evening when according to the bank it was \"too late to cancel\" and it will take them 45-90 days to refund the money. The issue is: rent will be paid this week out of my bills account and I hate to pull so much out of savings to be waiting in limbo to be repaid. Should I a) pull out money from my savings to pay for expenses and bills and keep paying extra on bills due (such as loans and credit cards) or b) reduce payment on my credit cards (from $100 over minimum balance to just minimum) for the next few months and put things as needed on them to be repaid in 45-90 days? Aiming to make the best situation happen in this rock and hard place scenario. Hope this makes some sense. It's late and I'm tired and slightly frustrated at myself. :/", "summary": "autopay error. Not enough in account. Pull from savings or pay less on bills to balance until money is refunded to account in 2-3 months?"} {"id": "t3_r0wpf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How would you deal with this situation if you were in my shoes? (Do you live the life you want, or the life others want you to have? Does love conquer all?)", "post": "Dear Reddit,\n\nThis is my first post, I'd really value and appreciate your answers! \n\nI'm female, 20 years old. Born/live in Australia, both parents Lebanese.\n\nI have been dating the most amazingly fantastic creature of all time for just over a year now, though the relationship is doomed because of my parents' hate towards him (despite them never meeting face to face with him before).\n\nReasons they hate him:\n\n**1.** He's Jewish (My mother says the biggest betrayal I could ever do - EVER - to her is date him [she has never mentioned this anti-Semitism before])\n\n**2.** He's 29 (Nine years older)\n\n**3.**He's different (Mohawk, unique tastes and lifestyle, just... different)\n\nBefore he came along, I never knew I could feel this amount of love, care and admiration for someone. He is perfect in my eyes, flaws and all. I'm crazy about him, hanging out with him/kissing him/hugging him never gets old.\n\nIf I carry on with the relationship, I will be disowned by entire family. (Father already ignoring me, relationship with my mother already in shambles... I've never had a close relationship to either of them.)\n\nIf I end the relationship, I will make my parents happy and will show respect and understanding towards them, but will never know where it could have lead and will lose my best friend, will be forever devastated, (may find someone else just as good????).\n\nI am working and saving up money to move out by the end of the year because I disagree so strongly to how my parents have acted, it's just terrible living in this house.\n\nI am under an incredible amount of stress and rarely sleep well, I go to great lengths to not be in a room with my parents.\n\nThanks, I hope someone can give me some good advice, I'm really struggling to find people who can help shed light on what's the best thing to do, and so is my boyfriend.", "summary": "Would you live out the life you want i.e keep dating the person of your dreams (would love conquer all?), or do what makes your parents happy, i.e stop dating someone for them?"} {"id": "t3_2k6yxg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why can't I (22 F) get over my jealousy I have over my boyfriend's (27 M) ex/mother of his son?", "post": "God, I feel like I'm ruining my relationship, over fucking Facebook likes. I'm more upset at myself than him over this, but I don't know how to stop this vicious cycle I've put myself in. \n\nA little background... we've been together a total of three years with two breaks in between. I'd rather not go into detail about those because I don't feel it's relevant. He assures me they didn't hook up and I believe him and trust him. I honestly have no reason not to. It's her I don't trust. \n\nShe's absolutely gorgeous and the mother of his child. She's also half Japanese, and of course he has a thing for Asian women. How am I supposed to compete with that? I have no confidence, I never had. I don't know how to do that. \n\nI don't trust her because she tried to get him to kiss her while we were together. Nothing happened, and he was mad that she tried that. Also, their relationship ended because she cheated on him, after a 7 year relationship and a baby at home... with his own brother. \n\nHe tells me I'm beautiful and that he loves me everyday. He is singlehandedly supporting both of us while I wait to get back into school. He spent tons of money and time moving me in, across the state. I see the way he looks at me, and he tells me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.\n\nSo what do I do? I get mad over stupid fucking facebook likes. He has like dtwo of her photos in the last couple weeks. I get upset because I feel like i can't compare to her, he gets mad at me for getting jealous, I feel worse cause he's mad, my confidence drops, etc. It turns into the dumb cycle. I don't know how to stop. It's a fucking button on a website. It literally means nothing. Why am I tearing myself up over it?", "summary": "I'm getting jealous over my boyfriend \"liking\" his ex's facebook pics. It's dumb and i want to not be upset by it. Help? :("} {"id": "t3_wltwo", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Girlfriend of a year, stops having sex due to religion... I call BS. What do you guys think?", "post": "Gf is 21, I(Bf) am 22. We are both in school, however due to the Summer we are long distance for now. We often talk to each other on skype like almost everyday, and so her mom who is super religious of christianity decides to walk in and look at a conversation of ours on her computer where we talk about sex (we do not usually write about this stuff other than saying i love you and what not but because our sex life is good we were comfortable talking about it), she doesn't talk to me for a while, and when she does tells me everythings cool but she can't have sex with me due to her faith in God. Her faith in Christianity was also strong before but that never stopped us from having sex. Now I'm afraid that our sex life is down the drain for good, I do know I love her, but I don't want to break up with her because of this. I will have a difficult time to adjust, I asked her if it was because of her mother she changed... But she replied no, it was her belief. And if I respect that I will wait until marriage... (I do not plan to get married early, it's impossible with my insufficient funds)to have sex with her again. I'm pissed and hurt, I told her the reason I feel hurt is because she is trying to block out those intimate moments we had and that she's only trying to appease her mother. I also told her, that everything would be fine once we got back on campus because her mother will not be snooping around...She swears it isn't because of her mother and still refuses to have sex... FYI We can't even sleep on the same bed (no sex).... or have actual sex for that matter. What should I do?", "summary": "Girlfriend doesn't want sex anymore due to religion after a fight with her mom figuring out I had sex with her, and now is forcing me to wait until marriage for sex. This is an impossibility."} {"id": "t3_54gnlw", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by knocking over a bucket", "post": "So this happened a while back at my school. Me and some friends were sitting in some really big stairs at the end of the cafeteria, but of course nature called for me so I started walking down the big steps down the stairs, and There Is a bucket in the middle of the stairs that I do not notice at first so I end up walking into the bucket, and keep in mind There was trash in the bucket, and about 200+ students sitting in the cafeteria so of course everyone looked straight towards the stairs because of the big bang the bucket fall made, and someone starts applauding. Eventuelly the whole cafeteria is applauding me while I'm Just standing There in view of everyone really awkwardly looking down at the students slowly walking towards the Edge then backing off slowly.. Eventually after what felt like ages of applause it stopped. This was the most emberassing thing and at the same time the most hillarious thing to happen to me, after a while the bucket was signed with my name on it, it even got a Facebook profile WITH MORE FRIENDS THAN ME, and even after a half year people recognize my name as \" the bucket\" every time my name is written down. Even to this Day a year later the bucket with my name on it is standing at the same spot. With my name on it and people still keep recognizing it.", "summary": "I knocked over a bucket, became a celebrity at a school for like a month altough people still recognize me as \"the bucket guy\" a year later."} {"id": "t3_4ej7qh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Socially awkward here. When can I [18M] kiss her [18F]?", "post": "So this girl and I were set up by our older sisters. We go to different schools and live about 30 mins away from each other.\n\nWe've gone on a few dates. I hug her before and after each date. We haven't held hands or kissed yet but I want to. Obviously she likes me since she asked her sister to set her up with me. She is waiting for me to ask her to prom and has asked her sister frequently about how I plan to do it (her sister knows since she is friends with my older sister, who I have told the plan to). I'm asking her to prom this week on our next date with this super clever \"activity\" of which she has no clue.\n\nAnyways, I want to kiss her this date and hold her hand. It's gonna be about a 1 hour date and 1 hour drive time together. I'm sure that my cleverness will blow her mind. Would this be a good time to kiss her? I am planning on holding her hand walking from the car and would feel comfortable doing so. Any advice would be appreciated!", "summary": "I was set up with a girl who I'm asking to prom and I haven't missed her yet. Can I kiss her when I ask her to prom?"} {"id": "t3_11tc0y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] almost had sex with a friend [21F], we're closer for it, but I want a relationship with her.", "post": "My friend [21F] and I [21M] have been friends since we started university together on the same course 3 years ago. Up until a month or so ago, there had been no sexual feelings between either of us, that is until alcohol was involved. \n\nWe hadn't seen each other for a few months as we were both abroad and when we got back we decided that we needed a catch up. I met up with her, we chatted and had a few drinks until eventually it was pretty late and she offered to let me stay over. However, it turned out that she had no spare bedding for the couch and said that we could sleep in her bed. This quickly led to us cuddling which led to spooning, etc.. I won't go into to much detail, but we didn't actually have sex as neither of us had a condom. We did seem to be very sexually compatible though.\n\nThe next days and weeks have been great, no awkwardness, and we've become much closer for it. Because of this, I realised that we're good friends and seem to be sexually compatible, so my mind starts ticking over, and I realise that I'm falling for her. We've talked about what happened (while she was very, very drunk) and she felt the same way and we decided to see what happens between us. \n\nThere are, unfortunately, some problems. She is incredibly busy with her sporting endevours so we only really get to see each other at uni. I do keep asking her to go out or to meet up just the two of us, but she's either busy doing uni work, training, or recovering from training for me to actually see her. So the problem is, I'm left in this limbo where she is more than a friend at this point, but not my girlfriend. We're never alone, but it's not like we never see each other. I don't know what to do, I'm pretty knew to the whole dating game so I wondered what I could do to make things work out?", "summary": "I nearly had sex with a friend, we seem to like each other but since then haven't been alone together, what can I do to make this relationship work?"} {"id": "t3_xuave", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Bleeding during/after plane flight normal?", "post": "I'm a 24 year old male, and this isn't my first time on am airplane. I've been on airplanes 6 times prior to yesterday, and never had an issue. Yesterday I took 2 airplanes... One from NY to Atlanta, Georgia. Then again from Georgia to Guatemala. When I was boarding the 2nd plane, before it took off, 2 drops of blood fell from my nose... I pulled my head up and it went away. At the end of the 3 hour flight, when I bent over to get my carry on bag, my nose just started pouring blood quickly. My clothes were damaged, my hand was literally covered in red, and it made a scene as everyone saw what happened.Also later on that night, more than 12 hours after flight, and after 5 or so hours of sleep I bled again, but only a bit.", "summary": "bled from nose 3x during and after flights. Want to know if this is normal. I have to do flights again in a week and am slightly worried."} {"id": "t3_31fg47", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22F] Girlfriend is leaving honeymoon phase and now I [22M] want out", "post": "Together for 5 months. Dated for 2. I've never been in a relationship longer than ~3 months while she's been a few LTRs.\n\nDuring the \"honeymoon phase\" when we made it official between us, we were extra affectionate. We wanted to see each other every day, would text and Snapchat often, and would have sex all the time.\n\nAfter a while though, feelings faded. Hers faster than mine. Dates became dull. Texts became less enthusiastic. Pillow talk after sex would be brief.\n\nShe says she's in the comfortable stage. Where she's secure enough in the relationship that she can be herself.\n\nI was left behind in the honeymoon phase. I would still get excited to see her. I miss the sweet texts of \"thinking of you\". I miss the pillow talk after sex.\n\nShe still tells me she likes me when we're together. It's gone from \"I really really really like you\" to \"I like you\" though.\n\nNow I want out. I want another honeymoon phase. I want her to want me as much as I want her.\n\nAm I looking for too much in a relationship? It's the first time I've been in a relationship this long. I understand the honeymoon phase can't last forever. Maybe I just want a more affectionate girl. Or that I enjoy the security of knowing she likes me as much as she does.", "summary": "No longer in honeymoon phase. I miss the affection and want to move on. First time I've made it this far. Not sure if I'm expecting too much from relationships."} {"id": "t3_3e1l31", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with a[23 F] I've been talking to went dark. No clue why", "post": "Never met this chick in person. She messaged me on an online dating website almost two weeks ago. \n\nWe've been texting religiously everyday for the entirety of the two weeks. Our schedules just haven't worked out since she had some events going on and I was out of town.\n\nWe last chatted Saturday and the conversation casually ended with a \"let me know how your thing goes tonight\".\n\n Now, I've never been clingy - just not that type of person. We use a messaging app so I know she has seen my message on Saturday. She didn't say okay or even respond to it. Fair enough. No message on Sunday.\n\nMonday rolls around, I send a \"Hey, How's it going\". She checks the message instantly, but doesn't respond at all.\n\nThis is super-weird because we chat back and forth all day. I thought that maybe she was tired of texting through the app because she mentioned she downloaded it just for me and mentioned that I get a sim card so we could SMS. So, I thought I'd call her. I called her from my house phone (yes, I have one) and left a message. She never called back, never texted. I should also mention that she also consistently initiated the conversation, too\n\nThis is all really odd to me since we had planned on going on a date this week. I thought that maybe she is talking to someone else, too (which is fine). However, she is online on the dating site right now.\n\nCan someone make sense of this for me? I am baffled. What is my next step or should I just leave it alone and move on? I already left her a voicemail and the last thing I want is to come off clingy", "summary": "I've been chatting with a girl from online via text for two weeks everyday, abruptly stops communicating with me. Don't know why"} {"id": "t3_p19g7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, a friend of mine played a clever joke on me. Care to help me get back?", "post": "[This](reddit.com/user/downvote_ohmygord) is the friend in question. He made an account devoted entirely to telling me \"fuck you.\" I know the perfect way to get back at him.\n\nEverywhere he goes, he sees the number 117. It has been a problem for years, kind of like the number 23 for Jim Carrey. Seriously, there have been several instances where we were simply walking through the hallways of our high school and heard a random dude with no knowledge of the problem whatsoever ask us questions like, \"Hey, what's 89 plus 27?\"\n\nI can tell that he finds his frequent and daily encounters with this number to be incredibly creepy. So here's what I need you to do:\n\nGo to his [account](reddit.com/user.downvote_ohmygord) and reply to all of his comments with \"117.\" Send him messages. Be creative. I want to see the look on his face when he loads up reddit in the morning and sees the number 117 all over his inbox.\n\nAny help you can muster would be capital. Thank you in advance to anyone who decides to assist.", "summary": "Spam [this guy](reddit.com/user/downvote_ohmygord) with the number 117. Anything you can do would be tops."} {"id": "t3_2gx7oz", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Why are you so fat? A question.", "post": "Hi Reddit! First...thanks for giving me a great place to learn about weight loss and watching your transformations gives me hope. \n\nI am a teaching assistant at a preschool for special needs students in an integrated classroom (I have typical and special needs students in one class). I have recently been placed in a new classroom. Now, I know I'm fat...this isn't a revelation but something happened to me today that I can't figure out how to deal with. A few of the students mentioned my weight and said things such as \"why is your belly so big?\" or \"You are funny looking and fat\". I can deal with this if it was someone driving by me in a car or on the internet, but these are kids I am teaching and working with everyday. I didn't know what to say because I was so embarrassed and was so happy none of the other staff members heard these comments. I guess my question is....how do you deal with this? I am mortified and almost want to quit just so I don't have to face these children again! I tried to explain to the one child that what he was saying hurt my feelings and that he made me sad, but he just thought it was funny. \nSo...what is some advice for dealing with this? My weight loss journey is slow and it will be years before this \"big belly\" is gone!", "summary": "Special needs and typical students called me fat today, not sure how to deal with the situation and I'm mortified for it to happen again in front of other staff members."} {"id": "t3_3v838a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] Feeling lost. Vent! [20F]", "post": "Hi, I'm 23, recently I've lost a lot weight (85lbs). People have been telling I look great and at work friends tell me how I'm blowing up. \n\nAlways avoided girls before in general (especially at work), until this girl at work introduced herself and offered rides. She and I had a good amount of things in commons and i definitely felt something as we first started to get to know each other. I Started to enjoy taking to her at work later even fb messaging. \nNever before tried messaging a girl to start convos but I did with her and she would engage in the conversation. Got to the point where she was stressing about a test and I tried reassuring her she will do great. She replied if your right I'll buy you lunch. \nI really thought she was interested in general and so did few friends. \n\nSo the next time we were working together I decided to ask her out. \n\nShe seemed to be in a great mood, she was trying to make sure I notice her ever chance she got in our large retail store. She came to ask for my help and it was just two of us in the back half of store with an awkward silence for a second thought to myself now or never. Told her \"I have to tell you something that might be weird\" she said \"if its weird don't say it\" \"I have to in order to get this off my chest\" I said quickly. Then just asked her if she wanted to go out sometime to which obviously she said she was too busy. \n\nI should've known she wasn't interested especially since she told me a while ago about another guy who treats her really rude after she said no to him asking her out and I was the only one starting conversations on fb. \n\nI don't hate her for saying no, it just hurts when I'm around her. What hurts more is we don't engage in conversation like we used. I don't message her fb but still talk her in person every chance I can. The worst is how her end of the store seems to treat me differently. \n\nFeels like I lost a friend even though she still offers rides and trys her best to engage in conversation", "summary": "i know i have to move on, so Now for the first time in my life I want someone who is interested in me the way i was with her. But I Have no idea how?"} {"id": "t3_13e7qs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18m] personal/emotional issues are affecting my relationship with my gf [19f] of two years.", "post": "My girlfriend and I started dating in high school and now go to college together. But, before this year, she was a freshman and I was a senior in Hs.\n\nDuring that year of LDR, some personal issues began to creep up on me. My first girlfriend (during 8th/9th grade, lol) cheated on me multiple times (cheating = make out or kiss at that time) and I have never gotten over it. Because of this, I was *extremely* jealous when she spent that year away.\n\nI began to despise all of her guy friends until I actually met them, thinking they would try to hook up with her or something (my gf would never ever cheat, though).\n\nI hated hearing about what she was doing on the weekends, her going to dance parties, trips to the city or whatever it was. I always tried to prove myself right and her wrong and I still do this today, and I HATE it.\n\nI can't seem to trust her even though she deserves my trust. I'm always bickering with her about super small things when, in the past, we never fought. \n\nWhen we both came back to school this year (me as a freshman), we had completely different friends groups, which is a new thing for us as we always shared the same friends. She lives on the other side of the campus, and because I am involved on campus a lot and she is busy studying we don't see each other as much as we used to.\n\nI've also been battling depression for quite some time now and only recently have I sought help for it. I'm now taking Wellbutrin, an antidepressant, but I'm still depressed and am not enjoying our relationship.\n\nHer and I have talked about it, we both feel distant from each other. I thought some of my personal problems would be relieved once we were at school together, but they have not gone away. Advice?", "summary": "I'm depressed, have issues with trust and jealousy, and we both feel distant from each other. I'm the problem and I don't know how to fix myself."} {"id": "t3_2u31xy", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Soccer / Futball Keepers of Reddit, How Do You Protect Your Hands Besides Gloves?", "post": "I play on an indoor soccer league that runs 5v5 with a keeper each. We play on turf and boards (think hockey rink) and because of the turf and how close the shooter is, I get absolutely rocked while playing keeper. \n\nI wear decent ($100 ish) keeper gloves that have the plastic spines behind the fingers to help protect you from having your fingers overextend but even with those my pinky and ring fingers really hurt. Sometimes I take a particularly hard shot and I mess up my wrist.\n\nNormally I would tape up my two fingers together but since I am wearing gloves it prevents that and I really don't want to tape them on the outside. Any suggestions is welcomed.", "summary": "I play indoor soccer as a keeper and my hands are getting rocked! Good / proper taping or wrapping techniques is requested."} {"id": "t3_10597y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[F,26] Mom died, hate my job, stuck living with family. I cope with weed, boyfriend[25] doesn't know. How to come clean?", "post": "We've been dating for 5 years and a half. My mom died 6 months ago and it's been harder than I can describe. I live with my family (dad, grandma (mom's side), sister with two kids) and I really want to move, but I feel like I can't do this to my family. They're mad/sad all the time. My sister argues with everyone, my grandma is old and weak, my dad... well, he lost a wife, how do you think he feels? I feel this is all too much for me, so I started smoking weed to relax. I've been doing it everyday now. I feel guilty because I haven't told my boyfriend. I don't think he knows. How should I approach this to him?", "summary": "I lost my mom and my family's messed up and I smoke weed to cope with everything. Boyfriend doesn't know and I don't know how to tell him."} {"id": "t3_nrpf9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can't stop having feelings for this guy while I know I shouldn't\u2026 What should I do?", "post": "20 year old female here. I've been friends with this guy (18 yo) for about a year now, and a couple of months ago I started to feel more than friendship. After some time I started to think that maybe he felt the same for me, but I wasn't sure.\n\nThen, on a night some weeks ago, we kissed. We spent the whole night making out, lying in each other's arms. For the record, both of us hadn't drunk at all that night. We were both stone cold sober. In the morning, out of the blue, he told me that it had been a mistake and that we should never EVER do it again. He said I was the coolest girl he knew, but that he was not capable of being in a relationship at the moment and that he didn't want to jeopardize our friendship. I told him it was fine and he shouldn't worry about it, and then left. Hurt like a bitch. After that I kept seeing him every week, as friends of course. I still felt the same way, but he didn't need to know that, right? \n\nHowever, he's acting weird lately. He says stuff about us doing sexual things and acts pretty jealous when I'm talking or even standing close to other guys. Also, I found out that he's been checking what I've been putting on my main Reddit account (yes, this one is obviously a throwaway). \n\nNow I've met this other guy. We share some interests, get along great and he seems really interested in me. But every time I think about him and ask myself if I like him, the first guy pops back in my mind again and seems to fill up every bit of space in my head.\n\nWhat should I do? I have tried to forget about guy no. 1, but it's as if something is telling me that I should hold on to him. On the other hand, I ask myself what use there would be in that. What do you guys think?", "summary": "Have feelings for some guy while I know I probably shouldn't, while some other guy seems really interested but also makes me realize that I'm not even close to getting over the first guy. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_22qbqa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Don't know if I [22F] jumped the gun on breaking up with my boyfriend [26M] of 8 months.", "post": "Just broke up with my boyfriend of eight months over long distance issues. \n\nHe is a great guy and I love being around him. He's like me in a lot of ways, and I just feel so relaxed around him. I honestly can't think of much negative to say about him.\n\nIt's been great, however, three months after we started dating, he decided to pursue finishing his bachelor's degree. I was 100% supportive of him, and this kind of cemented his decision to go back since he was worried that it would ruin a great new relationship. I knew he would be graduating in June of this year, which isn't that long of a wait, so I stuck with him. \n\nThe only real issue is that he has no idea what he's going to do when he graduates. He's going to be a fireman, and the jobs in that field are very scarce. Meaning, he'd have to take a job anywhere that would hire him. This could take him even farther away from me and I can't deal with that uncertainty. Yesterday, I asked him to make some sort of commitment to me so I know that we have some plans for the future. He just told me \"You're asking something I can't provide or guarantee at this time in my life.\" I know it was asking a lot of him, I guess I just wanted to know if he would do everything possible to try and make a future for us happen, but I know he can't.\n\nI don't know if I'm just insecure because my last relationship was a long distance one and it didn't turn out well. I was in a relationship with somebody who joined the airforce. He kept stringing me along for years before eventually leaving me for someone else.\n\nI just couldn't handle it if I waited for him just to have him move on with his life. But I'm really hurting right now wondering if I did the right thing.", "summary": "Broke off a great thing with my boyfriend due to too much uncertainty in a long distance relationship. Don't know if I jumped the gun just because I'm feeling insecure."} {"id": "t3_13tmnl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "F33 Snooped on my BF (35) and saw something I didn't like ... what do?", "post": "Been together for over a year now. A few months ago he got a great job across the country and asked me to move with him. We have had an amazing relationship and so I quit my job and followed my heart. \n\nFast forward to now- I am currently looking for a new job and am totally dependent upon him financially as well as emotionally (I don't have a lot of new friends here just yet) I noticed a significant decline in our sex life, which at first I chalked up to his stress from moving etc. But it has continued, and if I try to talk to him about it he claims I am putting more pressure on him and thus making him want sex even less. He frequently turns me down and it makes me feel unattractive and insecure about us. And since he won't really talk to me about it I am left wondering why. \nSo I did it. I snooped through his phone and saw flirty texts to his attractive female co-worker. Talking about his trying to \"put the moves\" on her and recently even asking her after work if she wanted to go get drunk together- it didn't happen (that time) but he apparently wanted it to. I know I shouldn't have looked (and I never felt the urge to before) but having left my job/city/friends to build a life with him I guess I just needed to be sure it wasn't a mistake. I'm so terrified because I am entirely dependent upon him right now. Would he really ask me to leave my life for him and then cheat a few months later? I'm sorry but I am so upset right now and I just need an outside opinion.", "summary": "moved across the country for my boyfriend and started having relationship problems. snooped in his phone to see flirty texts to his attractive co-worker. what should I do? I feel gutted :("} {"id": "t3_19n4zp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "**NSFW** Is our [F18 M18] relationship becoming completely focused on sex? How much is too much?", "post": "I [F18] will be the first to say that I am young and a bit naive. I gave my virginity to my boyfriend [M18] pretty early in our 8 month relationship (because I wanted to, not because he forced the issue) and since then we have been very active sexually. If we get the chance, sex every day is welcome, and I've been the one asking the most. \n\nI didn't really think this was a problem until yesterday. He came home for the day and all we did was have sex. No movies, no chatting, no leaving his bedroom. In fact, he didn't even ask if I was in the mood. Practically the minute we hit the bed he whips out a condom and that's that. Right afterward, he crashes from a lack of sleep and I head home. I felt kind of used. \n\nUsually, we do a lot more together. He likes to make big romantic gestures and take me out as much as he can, we like to watch movies together, run errands, whatever. I just like spending time with him. He's genuinely a good person, so I'm not concerned that he's only with me for the perks of having a girlfriend, I'm just wondering if we both need to reassess how we handle sex. Have we allowed it to become the focus of the relationship? How much is too much? How do I fix this?", "summary": "My boyfriend and I are having a lot of sex. How do I know if it is becoming the focus of the relationship?"} {"id": "t3_2fz5ci", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my (ex?)girlfriend [17 F] 2.5-5 months, cheating or sexual harassment?", "post": "I'll be short about this.\n\nA few days ago my girlfriend called me and said she did something and that I'll want to break up with her but she couldn't tell me over the phone and had to text it to me (she sounded like she was about to cry) We are in a long distance relationship since about 2-3 weeks ago.\n\nShe then texts me that she \"slipped\" and had done something sexual with another man. I'll be honest our relationship was already not very healthy so it didn't really come to me as a surprise.\n\nNaturally, I break up with her. She doesn't want to accept that we are broken up. She calls me and keeps asking for a second chance saying that she regrets it and it was a mistake. I am adamant about staying broken up though she is crying and refusing it.\n\nA few hours later she texts me that it was out of her control. I ask how that's possible if she gave consent and she says she didn't. So the situation is now very complicated. \n\nAfter hearing this I sort of \"un-broke up\" with her and instead switched to a \"break\". This is kinda arbitrary but whatever. Anyway I just don't know what to do now. I don't know what to believe. Even if she is now telling the complete truth I don't think I would want to go back to a relationship though I would feel a sort of responsibility to.\n\nI don't know if I gave enough here for you to form an opinion but you may as well try. You can go and look at my last post if you want more information. You'll probably call me an idiot for not breaking up earlier honestly but that's ok.", "summary": "Girlfriend told me she cheated on me, later claims that the she didn't consent. (Hands in pants, kissing on neck) What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_ixhva", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can someone help me find this cute girl I met on Maui? [details below]", "post": "I'm on vacation and I was riding some big waves in Maui and I saw this cute girl and we started talking having fun. She had to go and I asked her if I could contact her on Facebook but I can't find her, but I do remember details that could help.\n\n**Details:**\n\n* First Name: Courtney\n* Last Name: Started with an A, sounded like she said Alison but not 100% sure\n* Just graduated\n* Approx. 18 years old\n* Brunette\n* She lives in North Dakota\n* Plans on going to Boston University (not 100% sure)\n* Single\n* She plays hockey\n* Boston Bruins fan\n* Watches mostly College Hockey", "summary": "Met a cute girl in the ocean by the name Courtney A... and need help finding her on facebook. Details above."} {"id": "t3_j5j40", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Dear gamers of Reddit: How much is too much?", "post": "Hello gamers! I (20) am the devoted girlfriend of a gamer (24), and let me clarify this first: I have absolutely no problem with him gaming. (I actually prefer gamers vs. non to date.) I used to game when I was younger, so I can understand the appeal.\n\nAnyway, my boyfriend informed me last minute that he would be hosting a two week long LAN at his house. This means limited contact (except for a few messages informing me that he is still alive) and he pretty much refuses to have a phone conversation with me because he is with his bros and it is always a \"bad time\". \n\nTwo days before this, he just finished a week-long camping trip with his other (male) friends.\n\nSo my question to you is: how much time should be allotted to gaming when one has a girlfriend? Do you think it should increase/stay the same/decrease when one is attached? I understand the importance of male camaraderie, but is it unrealistic for a woman to want her boyfriend to slow down on the \"bro time\"?\n\nLadies, I would also like your thoughts.", "summary": "My boyfriend spends a lot of timing gaming and being with his guy friends. What would you consider \"too much\" time spent away/with others?"} {"id": "t3_398wy1", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by letting a hooker into a hotel and giving her a random roomnumber", "post": "NOTE: This happened a few months ago but just thought about sharing it here now.\nSo I was in Bruxelles on a trip with my school. We were a few classes from my grade. I lived in a room with three of my classmates, we had been there for a few days and were having a blast. The night in focus I ran down to a mini-mart for some snacks, when I returned a big black BMW was parked right infront of the entrance, and as I'm sliding my keycard to unlock the door, this plastic-filled has-been of a woman jumps out of the car and start to ramble in French. I explained I don't speak French and tried to get in before she said anything, but she walks right behind me, still talking. She finally understandood, and asked if I was the one who had called her. I just wanted to get her away from me, so without thinking I said \"It wasn't me, it was room 37\". Instantly knowing this was gonna fuck up someones night. She thanked me and jumped in the elevator. I sprinted up the stairs and into my room, and pretended nothing had happened.\nMy god the following that happened I did not see coming.\nA few minutes after I had got to my room, loud yelling started from a floor below. The room I had send the hooker to, was some from one of the other classes, and their teachers went apeshit on them, and they were send home the next day.\nI still haven't said anything, and I probably never will knowing that they had to go to special classes every sunday from then til now, and they are not allowed to come with us next year, when we go to Scotland.", "summary": "I gave a hooker a random roomnumber and they were send home and had to go to classes on sunday and were banned from the trip next year."} {"id": "t3_v5f03", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I'm having a garage sale today, and in the midst of it, I had a woman offer sex for money. My wife was standing in the kitchen and I've never felt so awkward in my entire life. What are some of your similar awkward situations?", "post": "This woman and her friend had come by the garage sale earlier today and were looking around. I didn't think much of it at the time, but they came by real quick, and left in a hurry. Well when they came by my wife was inside getting more boxes packed readying them to move. So fast forward about 2-3 hours and I see one of the women standing on the corner, caddy corner from my house with a broken down vehicle parked next to her. So, being the generally nice guy I am, I asked if she needed help. She practically came running towards me and said her car had broken down around the corner and she needed gas. Well, I didn't want to hand her straight cash and said that I didn't have a gas can so unfortunately I wouldn't be able to help. Well she quickly replies \"well if you help me out I'll help you out.\" and my response was \"how could you help me?\" without blinking she says \"C'mon, you know... I'm not wearing any panties right now.\" I turned more red than a tomato, quickly remembered that I had gotten a as can a few days ago. Before going to grab it, I said to her \"well I'm not sure how my wife would feel about this...\"and she says, \"hell, she can join us...\" I quickly went and grabbed the gas can and brought back up to the driveway (anything to get her away at this point). Then she looks at me and says, I'm so sorry but I lied, my car isn't broken down, I'm just hungry and need some food. So I went in the house, told my wife the whole story and my wife grabbed her some granola bars and othe food and sent her on her way. I was so weirded out by the whole thing. My wife was laughing at how red I was and still am.", "summary": "hungry woman informed me she wasn't wearing panties and would perform sexual acts in exchange for money. My wife and I gave her food and sent her on her way. "} {"id": "t3_2by78p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19M] girlfriend [18F] went to guy friends apartment got too drunk to remember the night and slept there.", "post": "My girlfriend got really upset one day and broke up with me. We resolved it Sunday she was just freaking out about all the changes in her life. \n\nShe broke up with me on Tuesday and we talked and I thought we resolved it to taking a break not breaking up. We were going to try to work it out. \n\nWe were talking about stuff and then she said she was going to her friend Kaylas for the night. So I let her go. The next day we went to lunch to talk and she reaked of alcohol. I asked her how much she drank and she said enough to not remember the night. \n\nI don't like that she drinks but it was fine she was with her best friend Kayla. \n\nSunday comes and she says she needs to talk to me. I go over and she is bawling and said \"I didn't actually go to Kaylas Wednesday. I went to Ryans.\"\n\nHe is 19 and lives in an apartment by himself. They worked that night together and asked her to come over to talk because she was upset. She went over and they talked and before drinking told him nothing was going to happen. Then she drank who knows how much but she doesn't remember anything after that. He swears to her nothing happened. That he slept on the couch etc. \n\nI trust her saying she didn't want anything to happen and he is just a friend. Except he has told her before he has feelings for her. \n\nShe told me even if I did do something with him we were broken up so it's not cheating. That makes me kind of fishy. \nWe talked about it and I'm pretty certain nothing happened but I can't help feel betrayed by her and hatred for him. I don't trust guys around her very much because they all try something on her. \n\nAm I in the wrong to be upset even though we were broken up? I have forgiven her and if if happens again I'm gone. But how do I cope with her still being friends with him. She talks to him all the time and I can't help but feel jealous and hatred.", "summary": "Girlfriend and I broke up, she was upset and stayed the night alone with guy friend. She got drunk and doesn't remember anything that night. Back together now can't stop feeling angry"} {"id": "t3_3w9w22", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 M] with my girlfriend[18 F] several months, still feel things toward my ex, even though I'm in a near perfect relationship?", "post": "So a few months ago, I got dumped on my arse pretty hard. One day, my girlfriend (of the time) stated she wasn't happy and was really horrible about it. \n\nAfter getting it out of my system and living in our family's London apartment for a month and half, I eventually started looking for another. \n\nI met an absolute angel. She is absolutely flawless in my opinion and the dynamic of our relationship as well. If we have the slightest problem, we air it out straight away. Even though it's only been a matter of months, it feels like we've been together years. She makes me feel like the luckiest guy on the planet. But there's one issue and I haven't the slightest idea what it is.\n\nI completely cut off my ex in every way. I sometimes spot her shitty bright yellow Fiat 500 about the town we live in, that's it. Yet, I sometimes miss her, even though we didn't work. She was an arsehole and completely closed-minded. Even superficially, nothing compared to my new girl. So why the fuck do I still have these unexpressable emotions from time to time? If I've found the girl of my dreams! The complete polar opposite. Someone who I can logically predict being with for many years to come?", "summary": "I've found the girl of my dreams, the polar opposite of my dreaded ex. A relationship that's going to last years, maybe even my life, based on logical evidence. But there's still unexplainable feelings? Why?!"} {"id": "t3_1bwn9l", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Prepare for the rantings of a 19 year old girl.", "post": "As the title says, I'm a 19 year old girl. Where I am it is 2 am, I love sleep but I suck at actually doing it. I take sleeping pills, but for some reason I just don't take them. I guess I enjoy this maybe. \n\nI'm also borderlining an eating disorder. No, I'm not sickly thin. I don't \"look\" like I have problems with food. I was 189 lbs when it started in September, I am now a slimmer 162. No, I do not know where it stops. Maybe once I am dead. Who knows.\n\nThen there's this guy. Obviously there's a guy, I'm a teenage girl. It's what society has said the root of my problems would be. I like him, he likes me. He just got out of a year long relationship a few months ago, I haven't had a boyfriend in almost 2 years. I want to make it work, sometimes I think he does too. But usually I just can't tell. He is thinking of moving across the country for a few months, and doesn't want to make anything official if he's going to be gone. In all honesty, I could care less if he is gone for a few months. We already live in different cities, so it wouldn't change anything. But I would like to give it a title.\n\nAnd now I've created a wall of text no one will take the time to read, so here's my short version...", "summary": "I have an eating disorder that no one knows about but everyone continues to encourage me to lose more, I like a guy who says he likes me but I'm a confused teen who doesn't seem to get the guy."} {"id": "t3_1ap2f1", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "My girlfriend [27F] is much too helpful, or am I [23M] just being greedy with her time?", "post": "I've recently made it official with her after a few months of dating. She has friends all the way back from high school that are a part of her life. Guys and girls alike.\n\nBut there's this one dude that irks me.\n\nThey don't spend casual time together like eating lunch or anything. He's... a bit inept. She drives him out of town so he can buy video games, or takes him to the dentist. Stuff like that, a pro-bono social worker.\n\nBut it's every fucking week. I couldn't see her *this week* because she's spread so thin as it is.\n\nI've known her for 3+ years now. But we still need to figure who we are together.\n\n*He isn't unable, if you will, I think the putz just got used to her caring for him.*\n\nDid I mention we're all in our mid to late 20's? What the hell, man. Get a car, or your fucking parents.\n\nIt isn't festering in me just yet. When something bothers me I can feel my face get warm and I clench my teeth. It hasn't got to that point, but I don't want it to get passive-aggressive with her, and then aggressive-aggressive.\n\nShe told he's recently learned to tie his shoes. *What the fuck is this*?", "summary": "How can I let this girl who I can see myself with indefinitely, that she has to let her man-child-friend flourish on his own? I'm not ready for a kid."} {"id": "t3_3dqovz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [34m] with my wife [28f] She lost weight and looks beautiful. What's my issue?", "post": "*", "summary": "My wife has always been attractive to me but now she lost weight and is attractive to others. Why can't I just be happy with this?"} {"id": "t3_36de71", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my boyfriend[23 M] for two years, share a hotel room with bf's mom? Awkward?", "post": "Hey guys! I just want a general opinion on this situation. I am a 22 year old graduate student who is pretty much independent and takes a lot of pride to have my independence. I have been dating a guy for two years who is the exact opposite. For the entire two years he has lived with his mother. He is an only child and adoptive. His mother has NEVER married and decided to adopt a baby in her late 40s. Their relationship is completely crazy imo. She cooks for him, does his laundry, puts his laundry away, pays for everything and anything, monitors his bank account, leases his car, sets up his doctor appointments, goes with him to his doctor appointments and even clips his fingernails and toenails. \n\nNow some things I understand because being it is not uncommon for many college students to stay at home. But it is a little much. Besides that, they get in to major fights in front of me. I have seen her nag him about the most minimal things. In return, I have also seen him tell his mom to shut up, call her a bitch, scream, yell, knock things down, and slams doors.\n\nMy boyfriend just received his A.A and will be transferring to an university three hours away. He has orientation this week and has invited me to come with him and his mother. They are going to be staying in a hotel room. I am having a sense of apprehension imagining two days of them in a hotel room together. I find it a little awkward being in a beautiful beach hotel with his mother lying in the bed next to me, watching our every move. What is your opinion?", "summary": "Boyfriend and his mother have a codependent, strained relationship. Have to stay in ONE hotel room together. Awkward or no?"} {"id": "t3_2s45rm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Separate or stay together during marriage counseling? M31, F27, married 2 years", "post": "My wife and I have had our share of ups and downs for the past 2 years we've been married. We recently \"separated\" for 11 days, and I just returned home. We talked a lot, and agreed we have some real issues. Primarily, she has trust issues with me. Since I've been home (one night) things have been great between us, when we don't directly discuss our marriage. Even our sex life has been on a totally new level.\n\nWe are going to go through marriage counseling weekly at least. During that period, we are entertaining her moving out to a nearby apartment while I stay in the home. We will still be married and committed to each other, just not living together. Is this a normal thing to do? Is this a good thing to do? Or would that just be the start of the end?\n\nThanks in advance, everyone!", "summary": "Is it okay for a couple to separate while they are going to marriage counseling or is that just the beginning of the end?"} {"id": "t3_1zdqf5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] and my boyfriend [28 M] of 1+ yr had a nasty, stupid fight and I feel very strange about the fact that he used my desire to marry him against me in it", "post": "A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I got in a very weird fight about something completely stupid: I'm taking a grad course that he took awhile ago, and I was doing my homework but didn't want to ask him for help because I wanted to do it on my own, and didn't want to do it at that moment; he got really pissed and told me I needed to give him the homework problem and do it right that instant, and I told him absolutely not. \n\nThe fight got really, really ugly, and I ended up having a nasty panic attack in the middle of it. \n\nWe are very close, and have been talking a lot about getting married in the future. However, during the fight he said that if I wanted to be his wife, I needed to grow up and stop being immature (about the homework thing). \n\nThis has completely changed the way I view our relationship, and, though I am still very much in love with him, something in my head has clicked and I no longer have a desire to marry him. I'm appalled that he would have used the fact that he knew I wanted to marry him against me in a fight, and I really can't get over it. \n\nI'm not sure what to do in this situation. Ideally I would like to not be upset about this, and go back to feeling the way I did before the fight. I hope I am not being petty. I know a lot of nasty stuff is said in fights that is not meant.", "summary": "my bf used the fact that I want to marry him against me in a fight, and I haven't been able to get over it."} {"id": "t3_fnyy1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Put an offer on a house, need some sound advice Reddit.", "post": "I got a loan approval through my bank at $160,000.00, saw a house on the market at $169,900.00 and basically after weeks of searching, decided this would be the house for me. My realtor and I figured we could get it with an offer of $160,000.00 because it had been on the market at the list price with no offers for nearly two months.\n\nThe seller's agent called my loan officer attempting to get me approved for higher so they could try to still sell it to me, but at list price. My realtor isn't budging and neither is my loan officer, so at this point is there anything I could do to sway the seller's mind on selling higher?", "summary": "Seller's agent is kind of a douche and wants to sell me a property at nearly 20% more than what the original buyer bought it at a few months ago."} {"id": "t3_2avnzq", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Something a little different... I need help with a \"mini thesis\" topic!", "post": "Hi r/personalfinance!\n\nI've been lurking here for a while, and you guys are very motivating for me in terms of getting excited to graduate college, get a \"real\" job, and start saving. Meanwhile, I try to save as much as possible with my ~$300/month job. \n\nThis upcoming semester, I'm taking a class called Topics in Econometrics. I have to do a research paper of sorts, that is basically a mini thesis. I don't have to go all out and do 40 pages, or come up with my own theory, or even present it. I do, however, have to think of some sort of question or problem, collect data (I can get previously collected data from reliable sources, of course), and then analyze it in STATA and write ~10 pages on it (not bad at all). \n\nHere's where you come in! Since I've been so into personal finance lately, I was hoping to do something relating to this topic, as it ties in nicely with my field of study (economics, obviously). So, I was hoping that you guys could help me come up with a rough topic idea! I was thinking maybe something with average household debt, or retirement funds, etc. Something like that!\n\nThanks for any suggestions, stories, etc.!", "summary": "Taking Topics in Econometrics, need a research topic involving personal finance in some way that has an abundance of data available and won't be too difficult to analyze and manipulate into a decent economics-related research paper*"} {"id": "t3_mm30k", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Another disgusting roommate question", "post": "Dear Reddit, \n\nI'm a college student, and my roommates are absolutely disgusting. I live in a 4 bed/4 bath apartment, and my roommates don't keep our common areas (living room/laundry area/kitchen) clean. I understand a dish or two in the sink, but often times the kitchen sink is unusable due to their dirty dishes literally filling it up above the faucet. Counters occasionally have food stuck on them. Last weekend my mother and I discovered mold growing in the bottom of their trashcan (I use a different one than them), and I've found mold in the dirty dishes the majority of the times I clean the kitchen. Additionally, they've been stealing my food (which I've fixed by using a mini-fridge.\n\nI tried confronting them about the food stealing problem a couple weeks ago by messaging them on facebook. While I realize this isn't the best mode of conversation, our schedules are such that we rarely encounter each other, and its difficult to get everyone together at once. The response I got from them was a fairly confrontational \"don't talk to me on facebook and don't be passive aggressive (which I wasn't doing intentionally)\". I brought things up to management a week or so ago and they said they would talk to them about it, but either management never talked to them or my roommates are ignoring them (which is highly possible, my roommates have no respect for our management whatsoever).\n\nWhat should I do? It's been 2 weeks since I tried talking to my roommates, and about a week-week and a half since I talked to management.", "summary": "My roommates are disgusting and don't clean the common areas, and I've tried talking to them and management with nothing improving."} {"id": "t3_y5kpo", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[16/M] How to act with my friend [16/F] I made out with? I'll explain inside", "post": "So I have this friend, we'll call her Sophie. We talk every so often but don't really connect much and that's why I haven't had feeling for her before. She is really nice though, pretty and good to talk to but I just haven't had the chance to hang around with just the two of us.\n\nSo we went to a party, right from the start she was hugging me and flirting - she got drunk quite early and later on I was also. We layed down next to eachother, spoke for a bit then made out a couple of times. We spent the night hugging, and made out a few more times. Generally just relaxing and it was really nice. I think she was sober by the time I left, I kissed her goodnight and left. It was kindof like I was in a relationship with her that night.\n\nSo I hung out with my friends today, and she was there but refused to give me eye contact and didn't really want to continue conversation with me. I thought we could just carry on as usual but I guess she feels awkward about what happened. Now I do like her a little because of what happened, but I don't really know her well because I've never really spoke to her much.\n\nI don't know how to sort this out. I don't know whether to talk to her about it, because it could make it even worse, or just leave it and try to act normal. We have another party in a week so I atleast want to be able to speak to her.", "summary": "Spent a party with a friend, made out a few times, she acts awkward with me the next day. Should I talk to her about it or leave it?"} {"id": "t3_398f9h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (25 f) dating a needy, self loathing (27 f) girl and want out. How do I end it?", "post": "I'm someone who has always identified as an alexythemic ( I don't feel or express much emotion), but I still have the basic human need to fit in and appear normal. So I began dating this girl. She seemed great at first and understanding of my need to be on my own sometimes. But as time passed, it became obvious that she is very needy, insecure, self loathing and irrational. She wants things that I can not give her, and the needy things she's pulled in the past like guilt trips, trying to isolate me from firends and family, and control all of my time, have caused resentment to build that I can't get over. I'm a non-confrontational person and I know any attempt to break up with her is going to result in waterworks and more guilt trips. I'm looking for advice on manning up and breaking it off. Any advice would be helpful.", "summary": "Needy, emotional girlfriend is smothering my non emotional, uncaring self and I need a way out that won't end in WW3."} {"id": "t3_wqzvd", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Tell me about the time you faced your worst fear and how you reacted. I'll start.", "post": "I was visiting grandparents in Japan, and they live in a very rural area, a location very unfamiliar to me, being brought up in the suburbs of Maryland. I was terrified of any sort of insect or related creature: caterpillars, spiders, crickets, slugs, you name it. Around the age of 12, I tried to convince myself that I wasn't scared of bugs, i just hated them. But years later, I had come to terms with my fear: I am fucking TERRIFIED of bugs and the sort. \n\nSo there I am brushing my teeth in the bathroom at my grandparents' house when I step on something wet. I'm barefoot, by the way. I think it's water or something, so I just slide my foot onto another section of the wooden floor to get the water off. My foot slides a little too much for having just stepped in water. I lift my foot and to my utter horror, I stepped on a god damn slug with my bare foot and smeared it all over the bottom of my foot. I screamed and fell backwards and smashed my head on the tile wall and lay there frozen. I didn't want to touch the smooshed slug on my foot to get it off, but there was still a GOD DAMN SLUG smashed on my foot. I wiped it off on the edge of the sink, and ran out of the bathroom screaming for help. I did not react very well. Now, tell me about your experiences?", "summary": "Terrified of bugs and the sort, stepped on the putrid demon's spawn known as a slug barefoot, emotional and physical damage."} {"id": "t3_ha1g4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Blue-collar home servicemen/service installers of Reddit: got any weird work stories? Let's have 'em! I'll start...", "post": "Last year, while working as a cable TV installer and internet service tech, I had a trouble call for an internet problem at an address that was way out in the sticks. Upon arrival, I was allowed to enter through a decrepit electric driveway gate, then I had to get the owner's purple-haired mother to put their four barking, jumping dogs with muddy feet put away in the back yard. Finally, after being let inside the double-wide manufactured home built in the late 80's, the person with the problem turns out to be handicapped.\n\nHe was using a huge 60\"(?) Samsung HDTV to play XBox Live, surf the net, etc. and had a few config problems that needed to be addressed before he could get everything working they way he wanted it. \n\nHe was probably 50 years old, with long flowing white hair, weighing easily three hundred and fifty pounds, sitting in a base-model wide-body black and chrome wheelchair with the foot stirrups folded away so he could shuffle by foot or by hand as needed. He was quite visibly albino, which was interesting to see, but not the most interesting thing about him. \n\nHe must have also been asthmatic or had some other breathing problem, because there were at least ten to fifteen 4-foot tall medical oxygen tanks standing in rows against the wall in the living room. Yards and yards of clear vinyl tubing stretched across the floor in all directions. He ran the tubing over indiscriminately while we moved around his house. \n\nThe best part though, were his clothes.\n\nHe wore a blue XXXXL t-shirt and a white bath towel across his lap. And a wheelchair under his arse. That's it.\n\nI corrected his router problem and got out quick.", "summary": "I fixed a fat asthmatic tech-nerd nearly-naked albino dude in a wheelchair's internet service."} {"id": "t3_3g9k2r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my friends [21-24 M] feel like I've outgrown them in certain aspects. Don't know how to proceed", "post": "I'm a 22 year old, about to finish my undergrad degree in mathematics, I have some friends who are older and already in the workforce. My main issue is now every time we hang out it becomes some type of pissing competition over money/jobs and what have you. \n\nI personally want to continue along in academia and get my masters (definitely) and phd (potentially). I come from a very educated background and all the successful people in my life assure me that this is what will ultimate earn me major rewards down the line (financial and job security). I've also passed 3 actuarial exams.\n\nMy main issue is that now I don't feel like my friends really respect what I'm doing. Or maybe not even that they don't respect it, they just actually think toiling away at some large corporation for 65k a year is some type of life goal to aspire to.\n\nI'd hate to look back when I'm 30 and be disappointed at just partying away my 20s and not really doing anything constructive. By the same token, I also don't want to \"leave\" my friends behind. \n\nI don't know...I really don't know what to do, any advise would be appreciated.", "summary": "I want to pursue education at a very high level before entering the workforce, friends are content being low level schmucks that give me grief over my choices."} {"id": "t3_4reeqi", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "My online friend is in love with me and I don't know what to do.", "post": "I don't use this account much but basically, I'm a kid with alot of anxiety and the things you'd expect of a teen.. I like to seek online friends to play games with and just talk to, you know? Some of my best friends are online, that's just the way I like to know people, and one of my best friends is a girl my age who we will call Kaley. Kaley and I have known each other for 4 years, when we met we were still just little kids playing Minecraft.. but lately we've been talking more and things got weird.\n\nWe've video chatted occasionally and the past few weeks she's been calling me cute and stuff and just laughing it off after (nobody had ever really complimented me before so it caught me off guard). She then proceeded to get more and more flirty and our conversations evolved from just banter to some more emotional and heavy conversations about our lives and I think my reaction to these things led her to believe I liked her too.. then yesterday she texted me one thing and hasn't been online since:\n\n\"I'm in love with you\"\n\nNow here's the thing.. It'ds not like I *dont* find her attractive, I really do and if I knew her in real life I would've been ecstatic, but we're high school students who live on different sides of the country (Texas, New Jersey), and even though I do kind of like this girl back, a real relationship just isn't possible right now, and I don't know if it's possible to go back to being friends now.\n\nI don't know how coherent this post is, I've always been really bad at putting my thoughts into words.", "summary": "A girl I know says she loves me but it wouldn't work and I just want to be friends, what do I say?"} {"id": "t3_2hxay8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] lost attraction towards my GF[21F].", "post": "Hello, I've been in a relationship with my GF for over 2 years now. \n\nShe's smart, brilliant, and loves me deeply. She has a ton of features I like about her, but for some time I've lost attraction to her. I do get aroused when I see her naked, but a lot of the times I don't like her looks (as in meh, not dislike). \n\nI'm 22 so I don't know if my body chemistry is influencing my opinion, but I feel like I have testosterone through the roof, and I go crazy horny for random girls. Our sex is not something I really want anymore, but we do have it(quite less than before tho). \n\nOver the last half year I've felt like I don't want to be in that relationship badly a few times, and the last 'attack' came on half an hour ago, but now that it's settled I feel regular again. I'm not sure if I'm guilting myself, or actually reasoning to stay with her, and like her. \n\nI do love her, and this is my first serious relationship. Sometimes I even feel like I could marry her, but I'm still not sure she's the ultimate woman for me. Therein lies the problem. I can't imagine breaking her heart (which I'm pretty sure I would, big time). Maybe I should stay with her, and chalk this up to something else? \n\nI've tried to blame my insecurities, commitment issues, reasoning if a marriage with a girl on the side is right, remembering all the good times we had, analyzing the quote 'The grass is greener where you water it', and probably some other things, yet the doubts persist. \n\nI know the answer to this sounds maybe a little clear-cut, but as much as I sound as a shallow selfish prick(which I might be), I do love her, and I'm lost. How do you know when someone is right for you?", "summary": "Not as physically attracted to my GF, and not sure what to do with our relationship. She loves me deeply, and I don't want to break her heart."} {"id": "t3_1lasti", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Should I pursue a relationship with a beautiful woman 6 years older than me?", "post": "I (25/M) asked a beautiful girl (31/F) out whom I met at a bar last week and we had our first date last night. She seems like a wonderful person, and I am incredibly attracted to her. When I asked her out I thought she was about 23 or 24 since she looks really young, however, I found out last night that she is in fact 31 years old. While 31 is not old in the slightest, she is a bit older than I am, and since I've never been in this situation before, I'm feeling a bit confused. She is in the same place in life as me and is at my maturity level, thus I'm not thinking much about it. It doesn't seem to bother her as well, and she seems really into me. We're scheduled for another date tomorrow night.\n\nAm I right to assume that 6 years is not a significant age gap?", "summary": "I recently asked a beautiful woman out and was surprised to find out that she is 6 years older than me. Is a 6 year age difference that big of a deal?"} {"id": "t3_1s39ax", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Update] My son [17 M] is dating an Asian [17 F] girl but her parents are making it difficult.", "post": "Original Post: \n\nThank you for all the responses! A quick", "summary": "After their first date was cancelled by her parents, they invite him on a group/family date. It goes well. The next day she sends him pictures of her family wedding rings."} {"id": "t3_2b6h7k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27F] am sure that my husband [28M] of 5 years has some sort of mental illness. He refuses to get help.", "post": "My husband and I have been married for five years, together for seven. He's always had a temper and been a little whiny, but it was nothing that ever bothered me. Over the past year or so, it's gotten BAD. And his behavior is super bizarre at times. Some examples...\n\nSomething as small as him asking me to rub his feet and me saying \"in a bit\" will turn into him saying \"FINE. Get the fuck out then\". If I ask a question about anything, he says \"I don't fucking know, don't talk to me\". \n\nRecently I got up in the middle of the night to pee. When I came back, the bedroom door was shut and locked, and my pillow was outside. I was too tired to sit there and deal with that, so I got a bobbypin and picked the lock. When I got in, he said he was testing me and I failed because if I really loved him, I would have asked him to open the door.\n\nThe other day he woke me up in the middle of a nap to ask what I wanted. I asked what he meant and he just said \"WHAT DO YOU WANT. I'M SO MAD AT YOU\" and left the room.\n\nHe blames me for a lot that isn't at all my fault. If he loses something, or someone says/does something to him, it's my fault. \n\nI'm positive something is not mentally right. Stuff like I've listed above happens DAILY. I've told him before that maybe he should seek help for it, and he said if I ever asked again, he'd divorce me. He hates teachers and doctors (no clue why...he's always had issues with them) so I think that's part of the reason he won't go. \n\nIt's at the point where I feel like I need to walk on eggshells around him and it's draining me. I can't force him to do anything, but I feel like I would be a really shitty person if I left him when he's obviously in need of *something*.", "summary": "I think my husband needs psychiatric help, but he refuses. I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do."} {"id": "t3_fkj8o", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Look what you did to me Valentine's Day", "post": "Throwaway account\n\nSo to give a bit of a back story: My first love (yes I am 25 years old and fell in love for the first time at the old age of 24) broke up with me this past July, one month before I moved to France (I am here for a year). His reasons for the breakup had nothing to do with my move, it was more along the lines that we were not compatible. However, the relationship was really fun and we did love one another. My heart still aches for what we had but I do not miss him specifically. \n\nI recently learned that he is in love again with someone he met at work and he is pursuing her hard. He is pulling out all the stops. (Yes, I know. I should block him, etc. Easier said than done.) It makes me really sad to know that this girl is getting the best of what he has to offer, and it seems very clear that he is head over heels in love with her and way more so than he ever was with me. It just hurts. \n\nTo top it off, I am in France with no boyfriend. It is not that I mind being single...okay, it does. But it is just that he is in love and I have no one. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I am just feeling overall shitty. The guy I did like turned me down last week and it just feels like I will forever be alone. \n\nI know, go ahead and turn on the tiny violins for my not-really sad life. But please, broken hearts hurt and if anyone is out there who can give me some advice I would truly appreciate it. Also, if anyone wants to chat or something on Valentine's Day that would be nice. I hate that I care about Valentine's Day because it is just a greeting card holiday. But hey, I am a girl and deep down, I care very much for all the love stuff. Here are some recent pictures of me just in case you are curious:", "summary": "Feeling forever alone right now after learning my ex is madly in love. Anyone out there want to cheer up a lonely girl?"} {"id": "t3_1v4ks1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "The girl [22F] I[24M] love has bpd...what can I do to make it work, or am I just setting myself up for pain?", "post": "I am really in love with a girl who has BPD. We aren't officially together...though we sort of act like a couple. I think it's also worth mentioning that her previous boyfriend dumped her about about 2 months ago.\n\nShe's wonderful and for the most part we get along great. The only issue is that she has BPD. A big issue. She can go from loving me one week to hardly speaking the next. She also has been prone to some really bizarre lying which is the worst part of it for me.\n\nI understand that a lot of it is the personality disorder. Can I help her get through this? Or at least manage it. I truly do love her. Is it not worth the pain? I would love to hear from people who have dated those with BPD or are in a relationship with one.", "summary": "Girl I have strong feelings for has borderline personality disorder. How can I make it work? Or is it not worth it?"} {"id": "t3_40689t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me(30f) wondering if I want kids someday, is nearly driving me crazy.", "post": "I'm 30 years old, and in a 7-month relationship with someone that I don't even know I'll end up with. He has a 4 year old daughter, and I do love her, but at the same time I like time to myself. I feel so selfish when he has her (1 day a week), and I want to go do my own thing. At the same time, I honestly can't think of anything better to do with my time, and I feel like my life is \"missing something\" by not having a family. I think that having a family would be a great blessing.\n\nI found out a few months ago, that it may be hard for me to have children, which is why I think its been on my mind so much. Especially with wondering if I'm even with the right man at this point (I'd like to have kids sooner than later, if at all)\nI'm starting to see a counselor because on top of this stress, i also suffer from SAD. \n\nCan anyone offer any kind words of advice? What is wrong with me?", "summary": "I love the idea of having time to myself, but am honestly miserable and feel so alone, like something is really missing in my life. I'm so unhappy without a family and it's kind of driving me crazy."} {"id": "t3_13xa36", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, has a family member ever dated someone you have already had sex with but you've been unable to tell them out of shame?", "post": "When I was 18, I was fond of going down to the local RSA (returned services association) to play darts and drink huge quantities of cheap beer with all the old timers. One night I got talking to this woman in her mid-forties who keep paying for my drinks after I had run out of cash. \n\nI of course ended up completely off my face so she kindly offered to let me stay on her couch for the night. We got back to her place and she continued plying me with rum and bourbon and before I knew it we were in her bed with her thighs wrapped around my head. \n\nI must have passed out after this as I woke up in the morning alone in her bed in a huge pool of my own piss. While trying to sneak out the front door without her noticing I walked past a kid of about 12 years old on the couch who demanded to know who I was. This of course brought my unfortunate partner from the night before (his Mum) out of the kitchen and she proceeded to give me the dirtiest get-the-fuck-out-of-my-house-before-I-stab-you-look so I scarpered out of there and walked the 10kms home reeking of piss.\n\nSeveral months later I'm hanging out with my Dad on the weekend and he tells me he wants to introduce me to someone special. A short drive from his house, we pull into a very familiar driveway and he introduces me to his new girlfriend who also happened to be (and still is) the most embarrassing and traumatic one night stand I've ever had in my life.\n\nHe broke up with her after a few months but I was too mortified to tell him until a couple of years ago.", "summary": "Me (18) takes home a woman (40s) has terrible sex with her and pisses in her bed. Several months later my Dad starts dating her and has no idea."} {"id": "t3_3q6woz", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by comparing someone to Hitler at a Jewish wedding.", "post": "Okay so this actually happened last night, but still in the last 24 hours. Although I wish it wasn't, this story is 100% real.\n\nSo I attended my boyfriend's boss's Jewish wedding last night. It had an open bar, lots of dancing - pretty much a good time was had by all. At one point my boyfriend left me alone, so I did what anyone else would do surrounded by a bunch of people they don't know: hop on Reddit. I read the article on the philosophy of killing baby Hitler, which talks a little about how depriving the Nazi party of such a charismatic leader could have been enough to nip WWII in the bud. My boyfriend returns and I get up to dance, still pondering Hitler's infamous charisma.\n\nLet me mention here that the company my SO works for is all Russian guys, save him and this other guy, who we'll call Phil, because that's his name. Now Phil doesn't really fit in with everyone else (as a young, tattooed, black kid he stands out in a room full of Russian Jews) but is literally one of the most charming people I've ever met. He's dancing with grandma, playing with the kids, flirting with the ladies and everyone's eating it up. He's just one of those \"it-factor\" people; EVERYONE loves Phil.\n\nAnyways, we get done dancing the Hora (I think that's what the chair dance is called?) and my boyfriend asks if I want to go down to the hotel's lobby and smoke a cigarette. We're both laughing about how enthusiastic Phil was during the chair dance as we approach the elevator. We stand there with a group of older guests waiting for the elevator, talking about Phil when I say, \"Phil is so charismatic... like he has a Hitler level of charisma.\" It was like fucking slow motion as I turn to see all these old Jewish people just staring at me in disbelief. My boyfriend mouths *what the fuck* and I decide there's no way in hell I'm going to ride the elevator 15 floors with these people. I turn around and book it as fast as my stilettos would take me to the bathroom and hid.", "summary": "Went to a wedding. Reddit made me think about Hitler. Compared someone to Hitler positively in front of a bunch of old Jewish people."} {"id": "t3_4wty8g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[18M] have known for my best friend[18F] for about two years and I think I liked her. But I don't know how or if I should approach her about it.", "post": "I guess some back story about how our friendship is. We met about a year ago in our algebra 2 class and we sorta worked up our friendship throughout the year (I was a huge introvert who basically had no friends and hardly talked to anyone in school) it started off with her asking for my help in the class since she had trouble understanding what exactly the teacher was saying, so I basically played as her tutor for the entire year and then we started hanging out outside of school that summer and got to know each other really well. like we found out that we were born in the same hospital only a week apart (she calls me a baby since she's older and I call her a grandma since she played a grandma for acting) I got to know her family and her mother recently came out and told me that out of all of her friends I was her favorite. (I tend to help them around doing lawnwork since her dad isn't around that often as he travels for work) honestly at first I was just happy to have made a great friend but as I hung out with her more I noticed all the great things about her. She has a fantastic personality and is incredibly fun to be around, she's beautiful, can act,sing, play piano, and is a amazing artist. We're kind of opposites in the way that she's really loud and outgoing but I'm really quiet and am a bit less engaging then her.I really like her but I'm not sure if I should ask her out, mainly because I'm a little scared that if I do it might change the way we act around eachother and I don't really want that.", "summary": "me and my friend know eachother pretty well and I like her but I'm not sure how to ask her or if I even should."} {"id": "t3_40zq72", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25M] with guy I'm dating [21 M] 3 months, doesn't want anything serious but actions confusing", "post": "He said he is not looking for anything serious. He's only been single after two year relationship since May 2015. Said relationships are 'draining'. \nWe hang out once a week. I wish it to be more. \nHe only ever really comes to mine when he is \"free\". Never any real urgency about wanting to see me when we could after work. It's always gotta be when we both aren't working the next day so he can stay over. I wouldn't mind going to his house for a dinner? \n\nWe do dates like hikes, museums etc\nWe have sex. \nHe texts me every night asking how my day was. \nThis usually follows with a \"I miss you\" text from him. \n\nHe's met my friends and I'm thinking I haven't met his. \nDo I need to back off a bit in this regard? Stop showing him off as if he were my boyfriend?\n\nHe's never actually said \"I like you\". \nI have once. \n\nI wanna let my guard down and get close to him but I can't help feel I'm just something he is using to pass the time by. Which will crush me. \n\nI have so much fun with him and when he leaves I'm left wondering when I'll see him again. I want a relationship where plans are made as we say goodbye.", "summary": "Is this guy interested? Doesn't want s relationship but sends mixed messages. I'm falling for him and want more but I don't think he does? Not sure how to ha she this going forward. "} {"id": "t3_3lxuh3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my new boyfriend [35 M] of 2 months deciding whether or not this is a good idea?", "post": "So i got a new boyfriend 2 months ago and its been going really well, we have the same tastes in things, Similar interests all the stuff that should be going well is. \n\nI really care about him and we've both vocalised this to one another. Not quite love but its quite intense. \n\nHowever, i can't get this feeling out of the back of my head that maybe 35 is a bit ambitious for me. Am i choosing a man that i can't really have anything int he future with because of the age gap? \n\nWe talk about going travelling and meeting his mum in his home country. We even went on a trip this weekend and we had a great time. \n\nThe discussion came up this weekend that after he finishes his degree in summer 2016 that he MIGHT go and work in an abroad country. The problem is I still have 2 more years of my degree to do. \n\nFrom what he is saying, he is keen on something long term, but when he talks about moving for work, i seem to find it a little strange. He said that if we are attached we would make it work, we would come and see each other, but I'm going to be in my final year of my degree, working only 10 hours a week on minimum wage, i can't really afford or have the time to go and see him. \n\nI would feel like I'm missing out on my own social circles. \n\nObviously, i can't hold a grown man back from what he wants to do and i have no intention to, but is there really any point in me in putting effort into something that may eventually end? \n\nAnd am i really just kidding myself on thinking I can actually have a relationship with someone 13 years my senior? Has anyone else achieved this successfuly? Do I have an future with him in the long run or am i just being too hopeful?", "summary": "Bf of 13 years senior MIGHT be leaving at end of his degree. Is there any point in me putting effort into a relationship that may end? Do i really have a foreseeable future with a 35 year old guy?"} {"id": "t3_4q95hu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [F/21] feel very insecure after finding photos of my boyfriend's ex partners [M/26] on his laptop?", "post": "We've been together nearly a year. \n\nI realise this sounds silly, but I'm a fairly insecure person to begin with. I know I'm not unattractive - far from it - nevertheless, its still the reason that I've waited to have sex and only did so a few months ago with my current boyfriend. I still have difficulty opening up. I've suffered with eating disorders while growing up and although I've recovered, I still find myself constantly doubting myself (although I'm working on it).\n\nAnyways, my laptop broke so I've been using his second laptop and found a few explicit photos of different partners he's had. He said he completely forgot about it, which I doubt considering he was going through all of his photos a couple of months ago and showing me some of the hilarious ones. By doing that, he would inevitably come across them, but I've chosen to ignore that.\nSince seeing them though, I've begun to feel very uncomfortable with myself and/or around him as I no longer feel 'secure' with myself. I realise these are my own issues to deal with and not his, however, I just find it a bit insensitive and feel completely inadequate.", "summary": "Boyfriend has nude photos of his ex girlfriends/partners on his laptop. I feel hurt and inadequate and find myself constantly comparing myself. Am I wrong or overreacting in feeling this way?"} {"id": "t3_38909k", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Reddit, I need some advice on a career change", "post": "So, I have been working as an Executive Assistant to the CEO of a Health/Life Insurance Company for about 4 years and I'm not happy about it. I really would like to get involved in the film/media industry. I graduated from college with a B.S in Mass Communications and I really truly want to work in this industry but I feel like I missed the boat. I took my current job because I was just out of college and needed a job asap and it was during the recession and I was scared to leave it once I got it. Now I feel as if I'm stuck but I really want to follow this passion. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.", "summary": "Want to get back into working in the film industry but have been out of the field for a few years as an EA in another field. Please help."} {"id": "t3_bblnk", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I've failed at IT, should I do interior design? If so, HOW? (Career advice)", "post": "Dear Reddit,\n\nI've been working on getting into Information Technology for all my working life (about five years). It's what I've always wanted to do, but it really seems that I'll never manage despite it being my passion. I started a distance education course to get a bachelor of tech, but haven't managed to keep going on it due to various life things (job being crap, not having/making enough time, motivation fail).\n\nNow that I'm out of work, I've been trying to find a job. I've worked in call centers, and will kill myself if I have to do it any more. I've done a lot of support, and am naturally pretty good with computers. I just can't get a start.\n\nSo now, I think I've pretty much given up. I think I have to do something else (have been out of work for three months, and the partner can't support me anymore.)\n\nDone some \"career prospecting\" questionnaires online, and one of the things that keeps coming back is interior design/decorating. I don't know if I have a flair for it, but I enjoy it, and think that my idea of what \"works\" and doesn't is pretty good. I've managed to decorate our apartment nicely, and people seem impressed by it. I've talked a lot about it, watch all sorts of interior design shows, and have defined ideas about what is \"right\" and \"wrong\". I've discussed it with friends, and it seems pretty attractive to me. So, I'm thinking that's a possibility.\n\nI've been wondering about it for a while, and now I have a chance to do it.\n\nSo, should I give it a whack, or should I continue trying to get into IT which seems thankless and impossible? If I should, how do I go about it? Take some courses, look online, or just present ideas to people?", "summary": "Trying to get into IT, and failing. Having an early midlife crisis. Should I do interior design, if so, how do I get started?"} {"id": "t3_2mixf4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "He [25M] dumped me [23F] by just never talking to me ever again - dealing with abandonment.", "post": "\"Ethan\" and I knew each other for about 10 years. Have always been pretty good friends, and he's always expressed interest and I always shrugged it off; because I liked just being his friend.\nWe didn't always keep constant contact. We'd go months without talking but then pick back up and get dinner and begin catching up all over again.\n\nLast year about this time, he was in Afghanistan working as a civilian for the Air Force. While he was there, his ex had been seeing other people and dumped him. He reached out to me via Facebook and just like normal, we picked things back up. Caught up, spoke about our current relationships.\n\nBut this time, we bonded a whole lot more. We grew to have more of a romantic relationship. It was really great. We made plans for when he came home and when he did, in about February, we made things official. We were a couple. But he had gotten a job across the country. So we continued in a LDR.\n\nHe flew me out twice between the months of March and April. (I couldn't afford to pay for flights myself, he offered and I accepted.)\nWe talked a lot about me moving out with him and I really wanted to, though I was afraid and weary. \n\nI was HAPPY, happier than I had been in months. However, towards the end and in my last visit, I sensed that he was not. He would tell me he wasn't happy being away from his friends and family, he was depressed.\n\nFinally he just cut all contact at once in June, making the actual relationship being about 4 months. He didn't reply to my texts, didn't answer my calls. Nothing. That's how I was dumped.\nHe unfriended me on all social media.\n\nIt's been 6 months and I've never felt so depressed and abandoned ever. I'm not myself. I sit and mope around alone often. Sometimes I still find myself crying.\n\nI don't know how to get over this. \nI need help. What can I do? What advice would you give to someone who has experienced something like this?", "summary": "friend for 10 years, finally become romantically involved in LDR for 4 months but then he cuts all contact. I feel desperate for closure and reasoning. Help?"} {"id": "t3_2au4ci", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[18M] with [19F], 3 months (5 years), she is distant and I feel conflicted.", "post": "We've been friends for 5 years, and after being apart for 2, she recently came back to my hometown and we met up and hit it off. She admitted she had had a crush on me the whole time, and I her. Things were hot, wet and wild until the first time we had sex. It all went downhill from there.\n\nShe had to leave for Quebec to deal with her mother's affairs after her passing, and was very worried. So far we're 1 month into the relationship, and she's too anxious and depressed to be intimate before she leaves (2 weeks). She's gone for a month.\n\nUpon her return, she is quite cold. When I see her a few days after shhe gets back, she refuses to kiss me, saying \"after leaving for a while I get nervous\". I abide this, and try and work up to it. She is not receptive.\n\nShe admits, a week later, that she has been feeling very anxious about going to school, since it's somewhere in Quebec where she doesn't know anyone. She says \"I'll just distance myself from people so it won't hurt to be gone\". I explain why this isn't healthy, and she won't have it. She is very anxious and depressed at this point.\n\nIt's been a week of her abandoning dates and being outright cold. I have been in her shoes, oh god I have, so I know that this is really hard, but I feel abused and neglected. I want to talk to her - I've been trying to - but she's been very difficult to talk to. I don't think I can do this, but I feel I owe it to her to not leave her in a time like this.\n\nI'm simply lost. It's worth noting that we've been very close friends since we were young teenagers, and she's always been a bit unstable - and so have I. I know she isn't long-term relationship material, but I still want to make this work. She's my first real girlfriend, while she has had several boyfriends.", "summary": "She's going through a hard time and is incredibly distant. I want to help and support her, but I feel like I've been neglected."} {"id": "t3_2kwn3y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My SO (21M) does not want to trick or treat with me (20F) to play games with a friend online for the 6th year in a row for Halloween.", "post": "I bought kigurumis(onesies) for my bf and I from kigurumi-shop online. They usually cost $50-70 depending on deals. I bought a korilakkuma bear one and I really wanted to buy him the rilakkuma one so we could match but he's too embarrassed to wear it anyways. He gets easily embarrassed about a LOT of things. So I just bought him the dinosaur which he would rather wear. \n\nNow he is just wanting to stay at home to play games with a friend that he's spent Halloween with for 6 years straight. He has never met this guy in person and just this past year he finally saw a picture of him but they're best of friends. \n\n This is my third year with my SO and finally this year my parents approve of our relationship (after complicated religious arranged marriage issues). I want him to come outside for once and trick or treat with me and my two sisters who will be wearing a pig and koala onesie. \nHe doesn't think its fun to do these cool holiday events and isn't a big fan of candy. He would rather play games all day every day if he could. I'm not that big on games so to me he's kind of boring and lazy. But he will do things for me every now and then.. I just want to share this new experience with him. He did this to me last year too.\n\nShould I just let him be? Is it wrong for me to take him away from his friend whom he has known for 6 years vs me of 3 years?", "summary": "My bf would rather play games with a friend for Halloween for the 6th year in a row. I want him to trick or treat with me. Is that wrong/too much to ask for?"} {"id": "t3_2zmxsr", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Unsure if company is a scam or not. Should I proceed?", "post": "I've been job hunting quite a bit lately and have been running into quite a few fraudulent companies trying to elicit personal information from me for what I suspect is identity theft. Anyways, today I received an email from another company offering me a job. My warning bells were ringing so I shot them off an email asking for more details. They sent this in response:\nDear (fullyoperational),\n\nWe offer you a kind of Internet job (work from home) - every time you will get all the instructions by email and by phone. Your task will be to receive payments from our customers by Email Money Transfer and send these payments to our Representatives in Europe by MoneyGram (5% of every transaction - this is your commission, you will keep 5% and 95% you should send to our Representative by MoneyGram, 95% includes the charges). The thing is there is not such system as Interac e-transfer in Europe, that's why we need a person in Canada who will be responsible for receiving payments from our Canadian customers by Interac e-transfer.\nYou will not have to contact the customers, every time you will get all the instructions by email from our company.\nUsually each transaction will be around $1000-$1500, you will get 1-3 such transactions per day.\nDuring the probationary period (first 1 week) you will get 5% of every transaction. After the probationary period you will get $300 a week plus 5% of every transaction on top.\nThe salary (approximately $2700 - $3200 per month) will be sent to you by Interac e-transfer.\n\nKind Regards,\nX\nat company X\n\nNow the company name and website is legitimate, but this whole things sounds exceedingly fishy. What can I do to figure out if this is a scam or not?", "summary": "Company offers me a job, it involves moving money around from Europe and NA. Sounds like a scam, probably is, but want to be sure."} {"id": "t3_2j0tqd", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by getting too drunk and scream vomiting.", "post": "So this was last night. I went to a friends party and proceeded to make a sorry attempt to drink away my life problems by drinking more booze than a human being should. Now I am the type of person who is very afraid of bothering people, so when I inevitably started to feel sick, I decided the best place to vomit would be behind my friends shed outside, so I laid down in the cold, wet grass and vomited on myself and the grass. I thought no one would notice I was feeling sick and therefore wouldn't be a bother to anyone, which was idiotic. I'm guessing one of my other friends realized that I was missing and went looking for me and found me laying in my own vomit behind a shed shivering and soaked. He went and got my other friends, who saw me shivering, crying, laying in vomit, and pretty much in the most pathetic state imaginable.They coaxed me into standing and tried helping me back to the house, but I got sick on the way and collapsed in his backyard. Take two, this time I got to the bathroom, and began scream vomiting (aka [liquid scream] I was forced into my sober friends car and driven home where I stumbled to my room and passed out. I was the only person to get this drunk at the get together, and now think that all my friends are judging the fuck out of me. Oh, and now I have a cold.", "summary": "Got very drunk, laid in cold grass, scream vomited, now have a cold and friends think i'm pathetic."} {"id": "t3_qrnk9", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Half Marathon Help Please !", "post": "I am (attempting) to run the Charlottesville Half Marathon ( my first race) on April 7th. Always played team sports (lax) but now post college have been working on running. My longest run thus far has been 8 miles, last weekend. I added 2 miles last week because I have been behind schedule and was planning to do the same today (run 10 miles).\n\n The week prior to the 8 mile run I had to skip a week of training due to illness. Today I am supposed to do another long distance run but I am feeling achy and fatigued. \n\nDo I do the run and take it easy? Should I rest? Am I totally fucked for running this race with all these training interruptions? Would appreciate reddit's expert advice! \n\nAlso, this is the program I have been using:", "summary": "My training schedule has been fucked due to unforeseen circumstances, can I still pull it together for this race? Also, I'm feeling achy and fatigued today. Bad idea to take an easy long distance run?"} {"id": "t3_1zimv6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[21 F] boyfriend [21 M] of 6 months, has been losing his hair. He's going through a lot of emotional problems because of it.", "post": "My boyfriend and I are both Juniors in college.\n\nHe's been experiencing hair loss since he was 18. Since we've started dating, this issue has come up in bits in pieces to where I'm away of the problem, and how insecure it makes him feel. I try to reassure him, and generally just never bring it up. If he mentions it, I tell him I love him whether he has hair or not, how attractive i find him, etc etc. Up until now, it's usually worked out fine; he realizes he shouldn't stress, and we go on to what we were doing.\n\nWell, recently we had brought up the issue of graduation and I mentioned some new grad schools i was considering. He got upset, but this somehow eventually led to him breaking down and bringing up that he had lost more hair in the shower that morning. We talked, and he admitted it's a big self-esteem thing for him, which of course makes sense. We discussed him seeing a dermatologist, but he's researched before, and I now have too, and it seems all he can do is just accept it, since the medication has sexual side effects, which is not something he (or I for that matter) can accept.\n\nSo, he'll make an appointment with a dermatologist once spring break is over, but I'm starting to get worried about how to help him. I really have no idea what to do or say. I try and reassure him, but it seems like such a personal problem that, no matter how much I say he looks great, the fact that he's only 21 and losing his hair is tough. He has no bald spots, but it's thinning, and that enough is bad.\n\nWhat can I do? Should I just not bring up this and make it a taboo topic? Should I talk to him more about it? Or just do as I am now and accept that that's all I can do? Thank you. I've never seen him that upset before, and it's really made me start worrying.\n\n___", "summary": "Boyfriend is losing his hair. Huge hit to his self-esteem and has taken over his thoughts. Can I do anything?"} {"id": "t3_1mfh99", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My best friend (f) who wants to fuck my other best friend (m) is now friends with his wife.", "post": "One of my(f) best friends is a guy, who's married and has two kids. This is a strictly platonic relationship- I cannot stress this enough. We have a professional relationship but also each others drinking buddy. I brought him around a few of my friends and they all love him. My other best friend (f) REALLY likes him and would fuck him any day of the week- but he's married and he would never cheat on his wife. \nHim and I talk a lot and I recently had to go through unnecessary bullshit drama with his wife because she accused me of being a slut and fucking him. You know how that goes- drama drama drama. Long story short she fucking hates me. Fuck her. \nLast night he and his wife end up running Into the other friends at a local event- I was not there but the other girl who wants to fuck him was. Well turns out she Introduces herself to her and claims that she \"understands\" her dilemma. (The drama/jealousy bullshit between him and I) They hang out all night and now all the sudden they are all fucking best friends. \nShe's the one who wants to fuck him. I'm the one who's close friends with him and I can't even hang out with him without being accused of fucking him. Needless to say I'm pissed.", "summary": "I can't hang out with my best friend without his wife thinking we are fucking. My (f) best friend DOES want to fuck him and now she's friends with his wife. Wtf."} {"id": "t3_227b8v", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Best place to put emergency fund to maximize interest?", "post": "Hi Reddit! I'm financially satisfied in the second year of my post-masters job. I'm using this time to have fun and build savings for my future. \n\nNot sure if it matters, but here are my details:\n\n29 y/o American female, 51K/year salary\n\nTake-home pay (after taxes/12% to 403b): About $2600/month\n\nRent/Utilities: $800\nStudent loan: $515 (after consolidation & income-based repayment)\nFood/groceries: $500 (I'm a foodie and enjoy restaurants and cooking)\nTo emergency fund: $550\nThe remaining $235 is other/discretionary spending. (the usual: movies, fun, the occasional taxi, phone).\n\nI personally think my finances are in good order, and though I have a lot of student loan debt (just under 70k at 6.5%) I'm a candidate for the public service forgiveness program, which will forgive my remaining balance after 10 years.\n\nI also have about 2K in a mutual fund that I hope to add to later; that isn't my focus right now.\n\nSo, my question is about my emergency fund. I currently have $9K in a savings account, which is where my $550 goes each month. My interest rate is .01% which is basically nothing. I know I should fix this, or my money will lose value as I'm actively saving. So, what should I do?", "summary": "I have $550 that I put into my emergency savings each month. My interest rate with my bank is incredibly low. Where should I put this money to keep it safe and maximize my interest rate?"} {"id": "t3_40ewz4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29 M] am engaged to my fianc\u00e9 [30 F]. I got drunk at an office function when a co-worker [26 F] and I...", "post": "This story isn't about me: I'm actually asking how to navigate a conversation like this emotionally, practically, and intelligently with a friend/colleague - really.\n\n\u00a0\n\nHe and I are roughly the same age so when he told me...\n\n* at an office party's **after-party** (that I did not attend)\n* he became black out drunk\n* and the next morning was told he got handsy with (and seemed to have kissed) another co-worker in a corner of the bar\n\n... I did not know how to respond.\n\n\u00a0\n\nI struggle with the *\"being drunk is never an excuse\"* POV because I too have done regretful, though reparable, things while very drunk. I also cannot fully side with or against the *\"when you're drunk, you're uninhibited, and your true self comes out\"* offense/defense.\n\n\u00a0\n\nWhat is /r/relationships stance on doing things you wouldn't do sober but did when you were [very] drunk?", "summary": "Friend got SUPER drunk at an office party and cheated on his fianc\u00e9. I don't know what to say but would like to hear your take on the subject."} {"id": "t3_18qa46", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Delayed petty revenge, fifty years to be exact.", "post": "When I was a student in the 1960s, I had a teacher which we will call Mrs Jackass. Mrs Jackass was the reason I never saw bright light in my school years ever. She was shouting at me always for no reason e.g dropping a pencil onto the floor during a test. But this was the last straw that broke the camels back. One day, I had a bleeding nose and went to get a tissue. She hit me with the cane for bleeding in class and I never got that tissue. Now I'm a waitress in a restaurant and Mrs Jackass steps in to order some Steak with Chips. I took down her order and went on to get this really old and musty steak. I asked the cook to cook it and he did. She was about eighty and recognised me after a few minutes. She gives me \"the stare\" as I hand over her food. Long story short, she left her plate half eaten and gave a big tip. Best delayed revenge ever.", "summary": "Bitchy Teacher gives me a hard time in school, fifty years later I give her the worst steak I can give her :)"} {"id": "t3_346fma", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20M] 2 years, excitement is gone", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been going out for 2 years and have lived together since we met (College halls). He's a great guy and I honestly have very little to complain about.\n\nThe issue lies where I just don't find 'us' exciting anymore. It's not the sex, it's just the relationship as a whole. Everything is repetitive and bland, and I really just don't know what to do about it. \n\nWe are going on holiday in a few months and are also living with each other for another year which makes matters somewhat more difficult.\n\nI know he is absolutely besotted by me and it makes me feel like a terrible person but I'm torn between letting him know or just riding it out. Either way we have no way out of a contract with an apartment, just the 2 of us. \n\nI have approached the subject of breaking up before and I'm normally told that \"If we break up, I can't be friends with you\" or he starts crying.\n\nI have no real reason as to why I don't feel the same, I think it's just what has happened over the time we've spent together and I know he wouldn't accept that. He is possessive and would most likely think that if I was breaking up with him, it would be for someone else, which is absolutely not the case.\n\nEssentially I'm looking for advice on the next steps and if need be, how to go about ending things on good enough terms to spend the next year in close proximity. I don't want to have to keep lying and making things worse for the both of us in the long run. I want to stay friends with him.", "summary": "My boyfriend loves me but I don't feel the same anymore, we're living with each other for another year. Help."} {"id": "t3_1hop0j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[15/M] Dad[47/M] is cheating on Mum[45/F]", "post": "Well, I don't really know where to start. We found out a week ago. My dad was at work but he had left his phone at home. A message came through. My sister just read it out of curiosity. We then found messages sent from a random mobile phone number to his saying things like \"meet me here/pub\" or \"can't meet you today at 12\", \"want a massage? ;P\".\nWe then phoned the number and a woman picked it up. We didn't ask her anything, and put the phone down. We then began adding things up. He had been acting suspisciously for a while now. He would coem back from work and change then go back out. He was getting new clothes, being more aggressive, etc. \nI've never had a good relationship with him. (He abused my mother a lot and said I wasn't his child). He forced her to have an abortion, he is such a piece of shit. I absoloutly hate his guts. Anyway, my sister told my mum today and she phoned him. She said \"come home straight, I know what your doing\".\nHis response was to say \"OK\" and he cut the phone off. I seriously want to plant my fist into his fat head. He tries to keep us under his thumb. I stand up for myself and my family now and he hates it. He says I \"talk too much\" and \"disrespect him\". \nMy mum just puts up with him, she hardly stands up to him. I just don't know what to do. He makes all the money (my mum has a low wage) so we rely on him. I want a good education etc. but probably won't be able to afford it. I really don't know what to do.", "summary": "dad cheating, told my mum today. Both coming back from work soon. Don't know what will happen. We rely on his money."} {"id": "t3_ly17i", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What to do about a lying roommate?", "post": "I have two roommates both of which are friends of mine and currently one roommate and I are pissed. Our other roommate made an agreement with our landlord that she can have sugar gliders as long as they don't mate because he doesn't want babies. Well she had 3 to begin with but 2 of them were evil so she sold them, which you're not supposed to do cause separating groups is a bad idea and now she's trying to get them back which is problem number 1.\n\nThat is a minor problem compared to what's going on now. She bought two new gliders a male and a female that are siblings and she told us that siblings won't mate. My other roommate and I did some research and aside from finding out that she hasn't been properly caring for the original one she's had for over a year we also saw that males and females will mate even if related. We also found out that she told her boyfriend that she plans on mating and selling the babies which brings up all kinds of legal issues that don't really concern me. The thing that worries me is the fact that our landlord said no babies and she should know that.\n\nI don't know what to do about this how should I go about confronting her? I've never really had to deal with a situation like this before because this is my first semester away at school and with roommates.", "summary": "Roommate bought sugar gliders told me because they were siblings they wouldn't mate. I found out she lied and I'm super pissed because our landlord said no babies."} {"id": "t3_mplmy", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Was I being a dick for moving his bag on the bus?", "post": "So today I got on the bus in the morning, and all the seats were taken except one and there were a few people sitting.\n\nAnyway my friend was sitting in the back and I wanted to go sit back with him, and there was a seat open except some kid in my grade that I didn't know had his bag on the seat. \n\nAs I walked to the back, the kid with the bag makes good eye contact with me and sees me coming, and people only come to the back of the bus to sit since its terrible to stand. He doesn't move his bag, and then my friend motioned him to move it as I was walking back. He didn't...\n\nSo when I got back there I just picked it up and threw it on the ground. \n\nKid was your average highschool kid, spiked hair in the front, lacoste shoes, american eagle jeans, hoodie (in winter, its cold I live in canada) and AM shirt.\n\nyeah the kid didn't say anything because I gave him a death stare.", "summary": "through a kids backpack on the floor after he didn't move it for me on the bus. Gave him death stare and he said nothing. "} {"id": "t3_1nwt8d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Update: 33m, am I in love or obsessed?", "post": "Here's my original post from a couple of weeks ago: \n\nSo things haven't changed. I'm still in a relationship for now, but somethings have come up. We had a talk last week where I admitted to her that all I think about with her is sex. How whenever we get home all I want to do is have sex with her and then just do nothing else. She asked me if I could be there for her emotionally, and I froze up. I wanted to tell her no and tell her that I don't think we're going to work, but I didn't really plan on how I would say it, so I just said I would try to be there for her emotionally. Since I don't really have any other place to stay yet, I chickened out...\n\nWell, this past Saturday we ended up going to see 'Don Jon', and there were things in the movie that I realized I was doing (if you haven't seen it, I'll try not to spoil it for you). The main thing I brought from it was that I don't \"lose\" myself in sex with her, but all I want to do is have sex with her. This is selfishness on my part, but I know that with her all I want to do is the physical act. I also realized that I would only go out with her on dates because I could count on us having sex when we we got home. This isn't healthy, and I know it.\n\nSo, now I'm at a point that I need to sit down with her and tell her my feelings, but in a way that is respectful. I know she's going to be upset, mainly since our last breakup was so messy (mainly my fault), but I know it has to be done. Guess I'm not too worried about her kicking me out other than fact that at the moment I would be homeless, but I can get past that issue somehow. Guess I'm just needing some tips and advice on how to do this as respectful as possible.", "summary": "Realized I'm only back with my gf for sex and not out of true love, but want to end it in a dignified manner were we could at least still be friends."} {"id": "t3_15244y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M/18] want to get back with my Ex but she [F/19] does not want to", "post": "At the end of August I broke up with my girlfriend of three years. I thought it was mutual but she was really upset and started in a way harass me. I got a new phone number and blocked her from everything. About a month of not talking to her, her friend asked me to re add her on Facebook so we could talk. I did and she apologized but at that point I didn't have any desire to be with her again. However since we started talking we started to hangout a lot more (I commute to college and she is the only close friend near where I live). Well we got close again and started going on dates and even hooking up and now I have those same old feelings. She said she loves me back but doesn't want a relationship right now. She said she would still be committed to me and that in the future we could try and work things out. We still talk everyday and hangout a few times a week but I just don't really know how to stop feeling so depressed about it.", "summary": "I want to get back with my ex, but she doesn't want to. How can I get over it this while still being friends"} {"id": "t3_uxobv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Should we colonize outer space, just like colonizing America?", "post": "We have spread across Earth. Wiped out part of a race to get across America and spread it out in full. We went to colonize America in the first place for religion freedom. Now must we espace Earth, do advance humans with our knowledge of technology, and be without the religious/moral limits that society imposes on advances technology. \n\nAmerica is split with many different majority groups. Liberals and Republicans are waging war against each other and cause filibusters all the time to prevent advancement in any area (Whether it be corporation domination, Gay marriage, NASA, school funding, etc). The constitution is now symbolized as an ancient text which we now have to \"interpret\" and infer what it means. We must start new. The structure of the constitution cannot hold the massive population, and culture diversity, of this nation together. Too many conflicting views that are interpreting the constitution into different meanings.\n\nSolution: we have to start fresh with a new colonization of space, moon, or whatever. What do you suggest we do to prevent the overpopulation of earth, and/or the perplexing counter views of America?", "summary": "America is based off of old, out-of-date ideals that can't be applied to massive country. Colonize Space to rebel of Earth's limits to progress humanity?"} {"id": "t3_di1yh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Redditor crush, advice?", "post": "About a month ago, I think, I started crushing on this redditor. He's a nice guy, likes the same things as I, and doesn't seem unattractive, though I don't think pictures are good indicators of attractiveness. He doesn't have a girlfriend- almost makes me wonder what's wrong with him, if an awesome guy such as himself doesn't have a girlfriend! Haha.\n\nProblems are as follows.\n\nLeast importantly of these is that I wouldn't want to burden him with whatever emotional baggage I haven't taken care of myself. He might not like me anyways, I'm lazy and such.\n\nMore important things: age/2 + 7 puts me a few years short of the rule of thumb for acceptable age; I'm over 5 years younger than him. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if he found it a bit unsettling. I consider myself quite mature for my age, but I'm sure any immature person would say the same.\n\nHe also lives on another continent, and I think that'd be the most impossible part. Could such a relationship be sustained? I wouldn't want to force him to ignore possibilities around him.\n\nSome suggestions I've gotten from friends have been not planning and PMing him, striking up a conversation and see what happens. Perhaps she's right, and it shouldn't be taken so seriously. Another friend has told me to become friends and, hm, hope he falls for me, I think it was.\n\nDo I become friends with him and hope he falls for me, or hope my crush fades, or either/both? Do I just message/PM him and start talking, and see what happens? Do I tell him flat-out? Do I tell him, and say nothing will come of it and such, but that I just wanted to tell him what a great guy he is, and not to despair terribly about getting a girlfriend?\n\nAsking yourselves how you'd want it to go if it were you would answer my question best, perhaps. I'd like to see people's different ideas on this. Or if they all have the same idea, haha.\n\nAlso, is it impolite to watch people's user pages for new comments?", "summary": "Female has a cross-continent crush on male redditor a few years too old for her, following the rule of thumb. Advice pl0x."} {"id": "t3_1z4a9c", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[22/M] I drunkenly confessed my feelings for a good friend [22/F] of mine that is currently in a relationship with someone else.", "post": "A little back story: She is roommates with one of my best friends, Katie, and I was able to meet through her. She, lets say her name is Sarah, has been with her boyfriend on and off for the past four years, so as long as I've known her she has basically been in a relationship. Although she has been with someone, there has been explicit sexual tension between the two of us for the past year and a half. I have been told by Katie that she has feelings for me and has talked about how she could see herself with me, and that she would be with me if she was single. \n\nDuring this weekend I drunkenly told her how I've felt about her, I told her that if she was single I would try to date her. She was pretty chill about the whole situation and didn't tell me how she really felt, but just let me say what I was thinking. Since it occurred she hasn't been weird or standoffish, nothing has really changed between the two of us. \n\nWith all of that being said, I would never do anything with her while she has a boy friend, I'd never want to put her in that position and truthfully, I really like her boyfriend. But I guess my question is, how should I deal with it? Should I bring it up to her and talk about it or should I just let things play out and hope that she breaks up with her boyfriend and make a move that way?", "summary": "Drunkenly confessed my love for a good friend, should I bring it up or should I let things just run it's course?"} {"id": "t3_1h1kps", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Where to find my golden parachute, or how to not step into another job puddle.", "post": "I graduated from a midwestern state school with a political science degree in 2010, I did well in my field, had an internship at the State House, and later worked late last year as an intern/finance assistant on a political campaign. Since then, i've been reaching towards a year at my current job, as a server at a \"fine dining\" restaurant here in a small midwestern town. \n\nI'm subscribed to a jobsthatareleft job server, and check my email and keep up on my resume, but I'm not sure where to go from here. I'm trying to stay with my current job for at least a year, so I look like a steady employee post grad (as I've managed a coffee shop for half a year, but made no money, so left for the internship/serving positions) and I do like my job. \n\nBut that's part of the problem. I can make more in three shifts at this job than I find at most any of these jobs even remotely anywhere near my field/passions, etc. \n\nI don't want to serve for the rest of my life (I'm almost 30) and would like to do something I'm passionate about, but I can't do a whole lot in this town, especially as a career in anything even remotely related to this. \n\nI have no qualms about moving pretty much anywhere, but I don't really know where to start with something I can actually hang my hat on, so to say.", "summary": "College grad, passionate about my field, currently making more serving than I would in a lot of so called \"real jobs\"...want to move, but don't know where to start anymore."} {"id": "t3_3p89q8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25F] grandpa [78M] smells really horrible and my family doesn't know how to deal with it.", "post": "My grandpa was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago. Just around that time, my family and I noticed he started to smell bad. Not just old, unwashed man smell. Like hold-your-breath-because-something-is-dead-and-rotting-and-I'm-going-to-gag smell. Some family members say it smells like shit and I think it smells like a fungal or bacterial infection.\n\nNo matter what it is, we are all extremely uncomfortable with it. We don't know how to broach the topic with him because he is old and stubborn and it is extremely awkward to say it to his face. He is a good grandpa and didn't smell before a few years ago but the smell is so bad now that we don't want to be near him.\n\nMy aunt tried to get my grandma (who is apparently immune to the odor) to mention the smelliness to him in case the problem was related to personal hygiene. My grandma said that when she mentioned the smell to my grandpa he just said that if it was so bad then maybe he should just kill himself. His reaction was so distressing to my grandma she has been afraid to bring it up again at the risk of making him depressed.\n\nWe don't really know what to do. We are all greatly bothered by the smell but we are also concerned about a possible underlying medical problem that could be causing it. My grandparents are somewhat secretive about their health so we don't know if my grandpa's doctor is even aware that the smell is persistent.\n\nDoes anyone have advice for handling something like this? Does anyone know if it is possible/legal to contact my grandpa's doctor to have him look into possible causes? This whole situation makes me sad because I am about to have a baby myself and I worry my kids will never want to get to know their stinky great grandpa.", "summary": "My grandpa smells REALLY bad and no one in the family knows how to tell him or get the problem fixed. How can we solve this problem without making him feel horrible?"} {"id": "t3_28io7q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my Ex Gf [20 M/F] and girl I met abroad [21 F], 3+ years relationship, broke up with GF abroad and now realized I messed up.", "post": "So My GF and I of 3 years were both studying abroad at the same time in different locations. We had a really good relationship but for the past year she had not been putting in same amount of effort and things had become stale (sex life, gifts, etc). I go abroad and start to realize that I was putting in much more. There was another girl on the trip who had a bf of multiple years and I flocked towards here because of my flirtatious personality I thought it would be the safest bet. She fell for me and dumped her bf and I was infatuated with being wanted that feelings started to arise for me as well. I had planned on seeing my gf 4 weeks into the program and the night before I go she tells me she likes me and is dumping her bf. I go see my gf feel really guilty get blacked out drunk and then we fight and break up. Get back to where I was studying and start hooking up (no sex) with the other girl for about a week until I realized I fucked up. I started being distant until she called me out and said she just wanted to have fun for last 2 weeks and no strings attached. I planned on coming back home and being single for a while cause I never have been before. After coming back the other girl has been very adamant that she does not want the study abroad thing to end and I saw my ex and all the feelings came back and I realized it was the fantasy bubble of abroad that made me feel all of these things. She said she was pretty much over it and just needed time but still loved me, now all her friends are telling her I cheated (i didnt) and she freaked out on me. What do i do?", "summary": "Broke up with gf of 4+ years for a diff girl while abroad now that im back I realized I messed up and want her back. She wanted me back but now she isnt sure."} {"id": "t3_xtf1t", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I have reason to believe my dad is cheating on my mom. Should I bring this up to my mom? Or should I let it be?", "post": "Some background: My mom and dad haven't ever been on the best of terms. My mom isn't exactly the best mom ever. She has her phases where she worries insistently on an issue (example: she felt itchy so she though there were bed bugs, went to several doctors, got medications, replaced all the beds, had the house fumigated). She can be very irrational and blames everyone but herself for the trouble (usually my dad or me).\n\nToday, my mom called me. She seemed very angry. Apparently my dad told her he was \"going to work\" (putting on work clothes and grabbing his work things). Things seemed kind of fishy so my mom drove down to his work place and he wasn't there. When she asked the manager where he was he said he wouldn't be working until Wed. This isn't the first time he's done this. He's done this before. My mom suspects it's a gambling issue (my dad plays cards with his friends). But I know something my mom doesn't know. \n\nWhile checking my phone plan online I noticed my dad opened a new line to the family plan. It looks like it's been open since May 2012. I suspected this might be a backup phone for him but looking at the call history on this new phone it looks like it's been used to call him phone number many times. There are other numbers on the list.\n\nI don't really want to share it with my mom just yet. I was contemplating investigating some more maybe putting a gps tracker on his phone and checking where he really is when he's \"working\". I was considering calling this mysterious phone number but I'll probably have to use a pay phone or call from my skype. Maybe pretend to be a telemarketer or an att rep? Or am I being too paranoid? Should I just let this issue go?", "summary": "Dad lies about going to work. I find new phone line on family plan. Mysterious phone number being used to call my dad's. Mom suspects gambling. I suspect worst."} {"id": "t3_4qd3ng", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (16F) Mom (42F) blamed me for her failed marriage. Now she's trying to talk to me again.", "post": "Background info: My parents (42F and 50M) are divorced. I live with my dad full time. \n\nMom and I got into a heated argument about college. She claimed she didn't have the money to have me and my 3 sisters in college at the same time. My mom makes good money, she's a surgeon and my dad's a well respected and busy lawyer. I got really heated & careless and said that I didn't ask to be born and maybe she should've been more responsible with birth control. She then said that she and my dad only got married because of me and I'm the reason for her failed marriage. \n\nI believe her because it makes sense. My older sister (19) has a different dad than me. I was at my parents wedding when I was 6 months old. \n\nI haven't spoken to my mom since but I heard from my dad she wants to talk to me. What do I do? I'm incredibly angry and hurt.", "summary": "Mom got upset with me and told me she only married my dad because she got pregnant with me. It makes sense, and she's trying to reach out to me again."} {"id": "t3_pnpax", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So reddit, there's this girl...", "post": "This is what I get for being a gentlemanly, classy guy.\n\nAt my college the gender ratio is about 7:1 (guys:girls) and so what happens a lot is that a girl will draw an inordinate amount of attention. This leads to guys (desperate because of the awful ratio) to be generally creepy and stalker-like. So my dilemma is that I, being one of the non creepers, have started attracting girls that want a guy that doesn't creep on them.\n\nSpecific occurrence: At the beggining of this semester while I was at the school's dining hall, this girl (that I know) comes up to me and pretty much demands my phone number and gives me her's. I didn't think this was too strange, but my friends who were eating with me said it was pretty obviously a \"Let's get together.\" move by her. Over the next couple of days she sent me mundane texts in a flirty fashion, smiley faces that didn't belong, over blown care about my feelings for being interrupted etc. \n\n This morning during my chem 2 lecture one a girl that I know in an ok way, who, on many previous occasions (we work on homework together and have had classes in the past together) said she HATED when people touched her (in any way). So this morning she said she wasn't feeling well and demanded that I feel up her Lymph nodes in her neck. This story doesn't properly portray the amount of aggressiveness that I am feeling from her. \n\nWould I mind getting to know her better? No, I think she is nice. \n\nI am freaking out about how she is going about it. YES!\n\nHoly mother of god, I have had girls come onto me before, but never from this direction, and it is starting to put me off.", "summary": "There is this girl after me (she likes me), but she is coming on *WAY* too hard, how do I make her calm down?"} {"id": "t3_17b0mn", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Anniversary of father's death, had a rough day.", "post": "Hello, loseit.\n\nSo, like the title says, today was the 9 year anniversary of my father's death. He died of a heart attack in his early 50s. I am 25 currently. Knowing that being overweight likely contributed to my father's early death, I have long been trying to commit myself to getting into shape.\n\nI've been doing really good lately, and have passed 5 pounds lost (not a lot, but better take it slow than keep gaining!). Today, though, without consciously realizing I was doing it, I just kept eating. It wasn't like a day long binge, but I had heavier than normal food for lunch (Chick-Fil-A) and heavier than normal food for dinner (lasagna with friends) followed with coffee (Starbucks after lunch and K-cup with sweet creamer after dinner) and several cookies a friend made for the dinner deal. I know this is a psychological thing, so I'm just counting it as a cheat day and moving on, but damn if it doesn't feel shitty to work against the goal I made because of the very event that is leading me to eat emotionally.\n\nThis post is basically just me venting. I am learning to change my lifestyle, and I need a new way to deal with this particular psychological trauma. Food was always something special to me and my father, but it wasn't healthy food. We would make cookies or brownies together, then eat most of what we'd made. One day of poor eating habits won't set me back too far on my goals, but I'm afraid the one day will turn into a lot more than that if I don't acknowledge the issue and deal with it. So tomorrow, I will eat healthfully as I have been learning to do, and do the weightlifting I put off today. From there I will return to my routine.\n\nLoseit, now that my rant is over, what are some things you do that don't involve food to console yourselves on days when you are grieving? My fiance suggested that we give to a charity in his name to help turn the day to a positive direction and a celebration of my father's life rather than moping and being depressed all day, which I like, but I am looking for extra ideas.", "summary": "Anniversary of father's death, consoled myself with food subconsciously. Acknowledging the issue and seeking advice for better options."} {"id": "t3_27n7zz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my Crush [16 F] no, Been talking alot, i grew really fond of her. After a looong time i really gathered the courage to ask her, and i was 100% i had finally found the girl... She sent me a snap with herself and her boyfriend..", "post": "So, as the title said.\n\nI have never felt this big rush of emotions, i really do not know how to react..\n\nI have been rejected before but not with someone i actually liked this much, its like we.. its like, both of us had really unique interests (like mountain climbing and such). and we had all these in common... we could talk for hours about these things..\n\nI don't really know how to react, what to do.. i am feeling a mix of mostly sadness and anger.. suddenly everything feels out of place and i just want to go to sleep and forget everyone and everything.\n\nDo you guys have any suggestion on what i can do? to get over or it or simply forget?\n\nThanks in advance in means alot..", "summary": "Liked a girl alot, thought she liked me (it really seemed so). got a pic with herself and her boyfriend, rollercoaster of emotions.. no idea what to do.."} {"id": "t3_3n2k9a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "F(25) Unable to make female friends... :(", "post": "Hey guys... So I was wondering if I could have some input as to why other women don't like me and why it is so difficult for me to find female friends. \n\nFor starters, I am quite introverted (but very friendly) and spend most of my time working, being active (yoga / running), playing video games and reading / writing. I love comedy and make people laugh. Some people have stated I am intimidating but I started wearing lighter clothes & lightened my hair (I used to wear lots of black and have dark hair) to seem more approachable... still nothing. \n\nI have a great job, make really good money - more than most people I know but I don't talk about it or show off - and have always had a boyfriend. I am pretty, not movie star pretty but nice normal girl pretty and I am kind - something which the only friends I have ever made always took advantage of. \n\nHere is the thing: other women act like I'm a freak. When they find out I don't have social media (I think it's mostly an outlet for vanity and I would rather focus on my own life than waste time seeing how hard people try to make themselves look good - I never tell people that though!) they reject me. \n\nI also don't watch reality tv which makes me feel completely left out of most conversations. I don't give a shit about lululemon or those other brand names and I have NEVER drank anything from Starbucks. \n\nI feel so alone because I have rarely met anyone else like me and I feel like all of the other girls have always criticized me for being the black sheep and often find mean ways to put me down for no reason. I try to be friendly - give compliments - smile... nothing. Please help me guys :( (Sorry it is so long!)", "summary": "I think I am a normal nice person but other women don't like me and I don't have any friends. Why? Any advice? Thanks!"} {"id": "t3_tzicn", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Scraped knee", "post": "Hello again guys, quick question.\n\nBackground: Went out and had some drinks came back home, missed a step outside and fell ~5 steps landing on my knee (concrete). When I awoke the next day I did the best I could with what I had (beach house) to clean the injury.\n\nThat was 4 days ago, my scrape is healing pretty quickly, already about 30% smaller from the original wound, BUT since Day 1 I've been having this white-yellow discharge from the scrape. It produces at an accelerated rate when I shower, I try to place a paper towel over it and press lightly to lift some of it off. From what I gathered, it's not smelly, which means it's not infected. It is a little red around the outside, but I figured I'd check in with you guys to double check.", "summary": "Scraped knee, healing quickly, still white-yellow discharge. Little bit of red surrounding the scrape, but not sensitive. Should I be concerned?"} {"id": "t3_42b9q6", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "(Australian Law) Picatinny Lasers/Weapon Sights", "post": "Hi!\n\nI have looked everywhere possible, including official government sites regarding lasers and other military/force-using weapon attachments and for the life of me I cannot figure out what is legal or not.\n\nThe first issue:\nNSW Law regarding lasers must be under 1mW and you apparently have to have a permit, or a reason to have one in public. **I do not intend to be in public with these at all, and it's purely for personal and fun use, not for HvZ.**(until I find a non-potentially blinding laser for HvZ/nerf events.) \n\nHowever, I think this law mainly applies to handheld/keychain lasers. Picatinny ones are for weapons/small arms, and thus in a (sort of) separate category to handheld ones, even though they can be handheld with ease. \n\nThe second issue:\nImporting lasers, regardless of their use weither weapon or handheld, can be subject to confiscation and a fine of 5,500$+ AUD, even though it may be 'legal' to own.\n\nThe first issue is solved by adequate knowledge of the law which I cannot seem to find and confirm (i do not fancy getting a fine because some guy on ebay said it was okay) \n\nThe second issue is solved by domestic purchase. \n\nThese, and any other future picatinny weapon accessories are not and will never be used on a real firearm, and are intended soley for NERF toys. \n\nCould I please get some confirmation on what I can and cannot do? as well as laws regarding use, possession, etc of anything related?", "summary": "Want to get a >1mW picatinny laser sight but not sure if it's legal to import or own in NSW Australia and can't find any solid information regarding such."} {"id": "t3_24qsfx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My SO [25M] wants to have a threesome with me [23F] and another woman, need advice/tips.", "post": "I have known my SO since I was 16 and he was 18. There was always chemistry between us but it seemed like when one of us was free the other wasnt and vice versa. We finally ended up dating when I was 20. Things have been spectacular between us ever since. We are living together, we are going to school full-time, and we have an awesome kid. I know this sounds so cliche and cheesy but it feels like we're soul mates.\n\nAnywho, so he and I have always been pretty open and truthful about things like if we see an attractive person or if someone is hitting on one of us or something like that. We actually almost make it like a game when we go out to the grocery, etc. to try and find MILFs haha. We are also very open sexually with each other and like to try different things. So my SO has brought up trying a threesome (with another girl) quite a number of times. Sometimes he says it seriously and sometimes its jokingly although he would be totally for it if I agreed to then.\n\nI am not sure how I would feel about it. I would probably identify myself as pansexual and I have been involved sexually with females so being with a girl isn't the issue. In fact, I have actually already had a threesome with my SO back when he was dating his ex (I was 17) and it ended up turning things sour with their relationship. Granted, their relationship was pretty messed up at that point already. My main concern is that I don't want to mess up our relationship somehow by having a threesome. Just sexually speaking, I am totally down for it though.\n\nSo Reddit any suggestions? Anyone experienced anything similar? Any tips on how to make a threesome work when in a long term relationship?", "summary": "my SO wants to have a threesome and I don't know if I want to because I don't want it to negatively affect the relationship. "} {"id": "t3_4a15re", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Can ZzzQuil be used as a substitute for Benadryl?", "post": "I've recently started taking some new medications (Gabapentin, 300 mg 2x a day, and trazadone 50 mg once a day at bedtime) that seem to have the side effect of making me itch like crazy (I also get the sensation that I have bugs crawling on me all of the time, which certainly doesn't help). Fortunately, I see my PCP in a week, and can then speak to her about having, at the very least, the Gabapentin changed to another medication for chronic pain, because after everything I've read, it more than the trazadone seems to be the culprit (in;b4 withdrawal advice, I promise I have read all about it and will speak to my doctor about how to safely come off of it. Fortunately, I'll only have been taking a relatively low dose for about two weeks at that point).\n\nAnyway. Because I'm itching so much, I have been scratching to the point where I'm tearing skin, or leaving those blood-blister-type bruises. Even my Curel Itch Defense lotion, which works wonders on my legs during the winter when it's dry, doesn't help. I have the topical Benadryl cream, but it didn't help much at all. I am completely out of the oral Benadryl, and because of how this medication effects me, I don't trust myself to drive out to the store.\n\nI do, however, have ZzzQuil at home. I know that both ZzzQuil and Benadryl have the same active ingredient (diphenhydramine hcl) in the same strength (I believe it's 25 mg off the top of my head). Even though it's listed as 'sleep aid' on one, and 'antihistamine' on the other... Will ZzzQuil work as a temporary quick fix in place of Benadryl? How exactly does diphenhydramine hcl work?", "summary": "Can ZzzQuil be a substitute for Benadryl (in the antihistamine sense) because they both have diphenhydramine hcl as the active ingredient?"} {"id": "t3_2d5biu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Dating] Me [21 M] with my crush [18 F], Should I ask her out, again?", "post": "I asked this girl who I work with out on a date; it was only a simple coffee/drink date and happily she said yes. But that arrangement never happened as she was busy, so I thought I would plan in advance and ask her on Facebook. I asked her on Facebook after having a nice chat but she ignored my message about the coffee date, so I didn't want to be annoying any more so I just stopped asking after that.\n\nBut I went out out last night and a couple of people who we were hanging around with noticed she might be interested in me, and told me to buy her a drink. But sadly they told me this when I was leaving so I never got the chance to buy her a drink and confront her again.", "summary": "Asked a girl out she said yes nothing happened. Asked her again she ignored me. Went out last night, people think she likes me."} {"id": "t3_1ng5bi", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "My roommate and I (both 19f) are both lost; Thinking of finishing up this year and moving", "post": "Here's the deal: both my roommate and I have absolutely no idea what to do in life. Not even a clue. We both feel so stuck here, we've grown up in Michigan and can't stand it. We don't want to waste any more money at college without growing a little first and discovering ourselves (typical college kids, right?) and have been thinking of moving out of state, preferably to Cali. I know, I've researched, Cali is EXPENSIVE. However, I feel that given the time to find decent jobs before moving out there and living with her aunt in Fresno while we save up more money and find a good place to live, we would be able to make it work. Whatever happens, whether it ends up being a mistake or not, I think it would be a good life experience to get out of state and, if you will, start over. Please don't comment saying it's a terrible idea, stay in college and finish your degree, etc. etc. All I know is I am miserable here, I feel like I'm not going anywhere in life, and I want a change. Maybe I'll get out and not feel any different, but that's on me. I just need some advice.", "summary": "Roomie and I want to move out of Michigan to Cali, we hate it here and are done wasting our money in college because we have no clue what we want to do. Help?"} {"id": "t3_2c8z5v", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "How to stop alley cat from using my backyard as hunting ground (mice, birds)", "post": "I live in downtown Washington DC at a house with a small fenced in backyard, which is a rarity in this mostly urban area. There are a couple of neighborhood cats that roam the alley but within the past two weeks there is a new face that has made its home in my backyard. I this cat in my yard 4-5 times a day in a hunting stance and scare her away when I can. Over the past ten days she has killed at least 15 mice and a couple of birds in my backyard, placing them in piles at my doorstep to rot in the hot sun. The smell and abundance of flies this attracts is not cool with me.\n\nHow do I humanely teach this cat to stay out of my backyard without spending money on automatic sprinklers or ultrasonic noise machines? Keep in mind that I don't always catch her in the act, so it has to be something that keeps her out of the yard entirely rather than just when she sees me. I was considering either a high volume water gun or a low powered airsoft gun may do the trick, but I'm not sure if these would be enough to deter the cats entirely.", "summary": "An alley cat is making piles of dead animals in my backyard, and I want recommendations on how to permanently scare her off of my property."} {"id": "t3_48sgts", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23F] boyfriend [25 M] of a year and a halfs brother and his girlfriend [both 23] don't like me", "post": "I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now, and his brother and his brothers girlfriend still don't like me. I'm naturally a very shy person, and I take awhile to open up to people. In the beginning I tried really hard to be talkative with them, even though I wasn't comfortable, and I thought I was doing a good job. They live a few blocks away and they have a big golden retrevoer dog, so I would spend a lot of time petting him when we would go over, and they started to get offended that I was too quiet. \n\nThey accuse me of not even liking my boyfriend, and of paying too much attention to other guys, and they've even accused me of stealing from them. All for no reason and with no context, I feel like they're just trying to find excuses to not like me. Being shy has always been an issue for me, and I really did try to make a conscious effort when I was around them in the beginning to talk more. Like I said, they live a few blocks away, so we used to go over there almost every week, and now they never invite us over and they never invite us to hang out when all of our friends are getting together. It's been over a year and they still don't like me. I want me and my boyfriend to start being included again, I feel bad because it's my fault they don't want to hang out with either of us just because I'm around. They say that my boyfriends just blind To it all and can't see how I am, when they are the ones who made quick judgments because I was shy. \n\nI also really miss their dog, and I want to start seeing him again haha\n\n Should I just not care what they think and not let it bug me anymore?", "summary": "My boyfriends brother and girlfriend don't like me even after a year and a half of dating because I was too shy in the beginning. Should I stop caring and not let it bug me?"} {"id": "t3_4wdcil", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 F] can't understand my [19M] boyfriend's sociableness ,what should i do ?", "post": "First of all,i'm sorry if i misspell words or something as English is not my language but i really hope you will understand what i'm trying to say\n\nSo,i'm with my boyfriend for 1 year now and he is a very friendly and sociable kind and i'm very unsociable,i have no friends and i don't want,anything more than 2 people around me feels overwhelming as hell:/ And he is the total opposite.He can't live without friends,he likes people around him etc\n\nAnyway the problem is now he wants some time only with his friends (he usually takes me with him..) and i know it's allright to let him go out with them sometimes ,but i just't can't understand this.I'm not jelous , it just makes me sad to know that he does things without me,it makes me nervous and unimportant.And i know this is not normal but i just can't cope with this feelings:/ I didn't say anything to him about this as i know it's not his fault and he has nothing to do\n\nWhat should i do to get over this?I don't want to ruin this realtionship becuase of this thing,but also i hate feeling this way...please i need some help", "summary": "I'm anti-social ,my boyfriend is very sociable and i can't keep up with him,this makes me nervous and sad,i need advices pelase"} {"id": "t3_3tqqbd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my [17 F] of 2 years broke up. She wants space. How do I get her back?", "post": "We were dating for 2 years and we had no problems in our relationship. I left during the summer to visit family in the mid-west during that time I started to lose feelings for her for unknown reasons. I broke up with her 3 or 4 days before her birthday in september like a fucking asshole over skype.\n\nI saw her again once school started back up and immediately started regretting my decisions. We eventually got back together and went to the homecoming dance and were together for about a 3 week period until she told me the day after homecoming that we should really take a break and focus on our friendship and that she needs space.\n\nIt has been 3 months that I have been over clingy with her and trying to give her that space but I haven't because she was the only person I could talk to about my problems and I just get in moods where she is all I can think about. But within the last 3 or 4 weeks I have been giving her some space.\n\nShe still occasionally tells me that she loves me and I say it back. But a couple days ago I said I love you through text and she told me to not say that, I then asked why and she said \"because we are not in a relationship.\"\n\nI haven't seen her in about 2 weeks. What should I do to attempt to get her back or have her want to talk to me? Do any of you know from experience if the giving space thing works? How should I try talking to her again? She has a Christmas party every year with about 25 friends always and I am in her friend group. Should I try making moves with her there?", "summary": "I broke my girlfriends heart and am trying to get back with her but she said to give her some space for now. Does the space thing work and how do I get back with her?"} {"id": "t3_xswmu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Help! Sibling Rivalry: five years apart and cannot get along.", "post": "I am a male 22 and my brother is 17. I came out to California to visit my parents and younger brother for 12 days and after day three I'm already getting on the plane and flying back home. The problem is that I cannot get along with my younger brother and it drives my parents to the point where they cannot stand me being there any longer. I call my brother fat and tease him about being lazy which makes my parents fire back at me and tell me to stop. I try to do my best to avoid this topic but for some reason feel compelled to verbally attack him. Can anyone who may have been or is in a similar situation give me some advice on how to improve my relationship with my younger brother. I see him rarely now and just need to stop this all together.", "summary": "Verbally harass my younger brother to the point where I am no longer welcome to stay at my parents house while visiting the family."} {"id": "t3_fxpy3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Your Strangest Trust Game?", "post": "I was up all night in downtown Toronto waiting for a 7am flight to Cancun, Mexico. I was just chilling in 24 hour diners and cafes. \n\n5 am rolls around, and I needed to get some cash for my trip (I had about 50$ American, no credit card, and just a debit card.). I put my debit card into the bank machine, and the contraption EATS IT! I was struck with panic. I didn't have enough money to even make it to the airport. I stood there for a couple of minutes pressing every damn button and trying to use any possible force to get the card out too. (BTW I had put my pin # in it, and the screen was frozen on the withdraw page) \n\nA random guy passes by and is talking on his cell phone, and comes to use the machines too. He ends his call. I talk to him with a crazed voice, explaining my situation, and if I could use his phone. I call the emergency number, and the operator tells me that I can deposit my money into this random guy's account!? \n\nI am flabbergasted. He keeps asking me if I am homeless. \n\nLong story short, I deposited a huge sum of money into his account. He didn't run away with it. He gave it to me. We gave each other the strangest look, and both said \"This is the strangest trust game I have ever had!\"", "summary": "Flight left to Mexico at 7am, needed cash, only had debit card. Machine eats card. Random stranger lets me deposit my money into his bank account. Gives it to me. Trust."} {"id": "t3_10rhdw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm supposed to graduate from college this semester but I'm missing one credit. What should I do?", "post": "As the title says, I'm supposed to graduate with a degree in Economics after this semester, but as I transferred to this University 2 years ago, I am supposed to have 60 institutional credits. Due to me being incompetent and missing the fact that I was supposed to take an extra credit this semester, I will only have 59/60. \n\nI have started applying for jobs already, but I have a mediocre GPA and am currently trying to expand my repertoire to make myself more marketable (I started taking some computer science classes this semester). Now I have two options. 1, I could probably get into a 1 credit drum class and fulfill my requirement for this semester. 2, I can wait another semester and take another full load (taking 18 now so I would probably do the same next semester) and hopefully boost my GPA and would have much more math and computer science under my belt for graduation. I already have a decent amount of math (taken calculus up to Diff Eq and probability, as well as all econometrics courses offered).\n\nWhat would you guys recommend?", "summary": "need one credit to graduate, should I try to get into a drum class and fulfill it this semester or take a full load of math/comp sci next semester to be more marketable?"} {"id": "t3_n8gl9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's your most memorable high school moment/story? I'll start.", "post": "A friend of mine ran into class and on the top of his lungs yelled, \"EVERYONE! THERE'S A GIANT MAMMOTH SHIT IN THE WASHROOM\" and then darted back out. Naturally, my response was \"wtf? A mammoth sized shit? No way, this definitely needs to be checked out.\" Before my teacher could say otherwise I ran out the door and to the boy's washroom. \n\nThere was a lineup snaking across the hallway when I arrived. The teachers even gathered to witness this monstrosity. The anticipation was killing me. After hearing several, \"it's so huge\" \"wow, how did that come out of someone's ass?\" comments, I knew this was going to be good. \n\nWhat I saw was a Guinness book world record size shit. This thing was at least 3 feet in length and around eight inches in diameter. It was as if King Kong himself had taken a shit. We stood there perplexed, wondering how such a shit was possible. The best part was that it couldn't be flushed. So our janitor had to haul out this massive one piece dyno-core shit and burn it outside in a remote part of the track and field. Needless to say the story spread like wild fire and the shit became known as \"The Log.\"", "summary": "A Massive King Kong size shit was discovered in the bathroom of my former high school and to the amusement of students and teachers it became known as \"The Log\""} {"id": "t3_18olzt", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "Travel Advice Needed From Dog Owning Travelers", "post": "I originally posted this in /r/dogs but I thought this sub might be a better place for it. My question is: My girlfriend and I are hoping to adopt a dog next summer. Both of us have wanted to get a dog for many years now and next year we will finally have the opportunity to do so. However, both of us also love to travel and would like to spend some time in Southeast Asia/Australia/South America, before we get too old to do some of the more physically demanding things that we enjoy. We aren't the type of people who would feel right just dumping our dog on a sitter for a couple of weeks/months. So our question is basically what are our options? Does anybody have any experience traveling abroad with their dogs (particularly in less developed countries)? What options worked for you? How did you find dog friendly airlines/hotels/campgrounds/places to visit? How did you negotiate various culture's views on dogs as pets?\n\nAll we have been able to come up with so far is that we either choose traveling or we choose the dog. I feel like there has to be some sort of middle ground here.\n\nAny advice is greatly appreciated!", "summary": "Hoping to get a dog next year but also want to travel abroad (Asia/South America/ Australia) in the near future and need advice on making traveling with my dog work."} {"id": "t3_3tq70q", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by rocking out too hard to some Foo Fighters.", "post": "This happened last night at a bar with some friends. \n\nWe were enjoying a typical Friday night. Pregamed the bars with some brews and wine, BS'd and what not. Went to one of the Friday night bars in town, which is within walking distance of about 3 other bars that are always packed on Fridays. We were getting ready to leave the first bar, our group of about 5 standing by the door waiting for my girlfriend to come back from the restroom. I hear, very faintly, Dave Grohl's beautiful voice through the chaos of a packed bar. He's saying \"I've got another confession to make!\" If you've heard this song (and who hasn't?), you know there's no instrumentals going on while Dave belts out the opening line. Then, there's some faint guitar in the background, but not enough to really hear over a noisy bar scene. But then, oh then, there's the magnificent \"I needed somewhere to hang my head\" and the full instrumental \"drop.\" Basically, it's a classic headbanging moment. Which is where I fucked up..\n\nBecause nobody but me heard the song, I was the only one to react to this part, headbanging rather intensely. One headbang is all it took. Next thing I know, it feels like somebody stabbed me in the eye with a hot steak knife. I clutch my face and turn around, run into the wall, and just scream. \n\nTurns out, I handbanged right into my friends hand, specifically, her thumb, who happened to be raising it at that exact moment. Now it looks like I got punched square in the eye because it's black and blue and there's a cut underneath it. I've had to explain to everyone who has seen me today that I rocked out a little too hard to the Foo. \n\nWhich is kind of badass in it's own right.", "summary": "Heard \"Best of You\" by the Foo Fighters through a noisy crowd, got excited, headbanged my eye right into my friends thumb."} {"id": "t3_3mwqsh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 19[M] confessed to 17[F] and she likes me back but", "post": "So I recently confessed my feelings to a close friend of mine and she reciprocated. I felt great. A few days later she tells me that she isn't ready for a relationship and she wants to scope things out and see where she stands, probably because she just finished high school, I completely understand.\n\nI was told that there is a possibility of dating, but not right now. So I backed off for a bit and gave her some space and now she's inviting me to hangout, watch movies together etc. I'm confused on what to do because I'm getting mixed signals, I asked her again and she says she's not ready yet and doesn't want to hurt me but every time we meet up together we get closer. \n\nI'm just confused on what to next, keep pursuing or just take a step back and when she's ready ?", "summary": "confessed feelings for friend, she reciprocated but doesn't want to be in a relationship, but giving signs she does want to. So I'm confused on what to do next."} {"id": "t3_1u2yyn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] have been debating breaking up with my SO [20 F] of 3 years", "post": "i just really don't want to hurt her and i want her to be happy and i don't want to keep dragging her along with somebody that isn't 100% into the relationship. \n\nIs it normal to feel like this, i mean somedays i feel like i'll spend the rest of my life with her and then some (like today) i feel like i need to end things ASAP and let her go before her feelings become even deeper.\n\nI do love her and i don't know whats wrong with me im just not happy with her even though shes more than i could wish for.\n\nDoes this relationship sound like it needs to be ended or is this uncertanty and back and forth of emotion and committment normal?", "summary": "I don't want to drag GF of 3yrs further on in a relationship with somebody that isn't always 100% committed to our future. should i end it or wait it out?"} {"id": "t3_ivcic", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Can someone help me figure out if the guy I'm dating is disinterested, immature, or both?", "post": "I'm 28, and I've just started dating a 21 year old guy. On our third date, before we had sex for the first time, I told him that I'm not looking for a serious relationship and don't really have time for one, but I'd like it if we could see each other casually. He seemed cool with it, and we had a great night. He kept telling me how sexy I was and gazing into my eyes while we were doing it, which I took to mean he liked it. The next morning, we had sex again, he made me coffee, and we watched a movie and cuddled before I left that afternoon. Incidentally, we also had another hardcore makeout session at the door which could have very easily turned into another round of banging. \nHe texted me a couple nights later that I had left a couple beers at his house, and I said he could keep them. I didn't hear back from him, so I texted him on the next day to see if he'd like to make plans for later in the week. Two days later, I get a text saying his phone had died so he wasn't sure when I had sent the text, but he would like to get together. I told him I had already made plans (true), but maybe some other time. Now it is almost a day later, and he hasn't responded. Do you think I should just delete him from my phone and move on? He seemed like a nice kid, but unless he is no longer interested or seeing someone else, I can't imagine why he would be so unresponsive.", "summary": "Was seeing this guy (7 years younger), casual relationship, had one night of great sex, cuddled in the morning, now he is rather uncommunicative. WTF?"} {"id": "t3_lw15u", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Opinion is on strangers and photos of your kid", "post": "Trick or' treating with my daughter, one duplex middle aged man asks to take our picture -- thinking nothing of it I let him; no candy (I'm a bit miffed that I didn't say, uhh not comfortable with that)... Later on I started to think something is wrong. Asked the wife and she requested i go ask him to delete it.\n\nWent back asked him to remove it. He dodged by knocking on the door by his and asking for some candy. I said \"I'm not interested in candy, I'd just like you to remove the photo\". He started to protest \"you can't come in my house\". I replied \"I don`t need to come in, i just want to see you delete the photo\" , but his neighbour (turned out to be his mom) said \"no if he asks you to delete it you must\". He invited me in, talked to a guy he called his brother \"I need the camera, i have to delete the picture of the little girl\". I mentioned that i needed to see him delete it and his brother brought the camera over and showed me it being deleted. All this amidsts protests of \"what kind of guy do you think i am\", and my assurances that it was just that i didnt feel comfortable. Brother says ignore him he is drunk.\n\nSo as far as i know it is deleted (could be other copies obviously). I`m a bit freaked that there is now a man near my house that wanted to take a photo of my kid (I was in the picture). I hate being paranoid, and (i think) i remember reading that pedophilia is very rare, and much more feared then warrented (compaired to say driving in a car). \n\nFunny thing is i found his protests damning. Then i thought about it and if he had been really easy and willing then that might have also been damning. Any opinions?", "summary": "strange man took photo of me and my kid on halloween, i got paranoid and asked him to remove it, under protest he did. Still a bit freaked and looking for opinions."} {"id": "t3_3hjhc7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [17/F] has pretty severe anxiety/depression/OCD. I'm (18/M) worried that having to counsel her daily is putting a strain on our relationship. (1.5 years)", "post": "My girlfriend has pretty severe anxiety and depression, and was recently diagnosed with a form of OCD, called OCT (Obsessive Compulsive Traits) which basically means she has some symptoms of OCD, but not enough to be complete OCD.\n\nShe has a really intense fear of death, that is triggered multiple times a day and because of this I find myself transforming from a boyfriend into a counsellor. Because I'm not a counsellor, nor have I done training, I find that I can only help to a point and can't help but beat myself up when I can't make her feel better. I understand how complex and complicated mental illness can be, as I've also been diagnosed with Depression, anxiety, and PTSD.\n\nWhen I'm feeling down I immediately feel guilty as I know that me being upset will effect my girlfriend, and exacerbate her illnesses.\n\nI'm worried that having to counsel my girlfriend so often, and now being scared of having her aid me when I am upset is putting a strain on our relationship. I truly love my girlfriend, and we communicate really well, but I have no idea how to communicate something like this to her without hurting her.", "summary": "Girlfriend has severe mental illness, as do I. I find myself counselling her often, whilst being scared of asking for help. How do I communicate this?"} {"id": "t3_46rnap", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU for cumming on my wall for four years [Reuploaded] (NSFW)", "post": "Like most posts this didn't happen today, it happened over a 4 year time period when I was in highschool.\n\nIn highschool I had a couch shaped bed that had a small slit where the \"back of the couch\" and the bed met. I decided that it would be a good idea to instead of cleaning up my white cream after a personal session, to simply blow my load through this slit and onto the wall next to my bed. I yanked my chain 2-3 times a day and it was beautiful to be able to splooge in the slit in my bed and then go on with my day. That slit became a beautiful, beautiful canvas and my spunk was its sticky paint. The fuck up itself didn't happen until it was time for me to move to college.\n\nBefore, I moved out my mom thought it would be a good idea to get rid of my bed and tidy up my room. I went up to my room with my mom and she pushed my bed away from the wall. What she uncovered was unimaginable. My wall looked like a jackson pollock painting was fucked by Lexington Steele. Thick orange residue was covering the wall and a great concentration of it was right in the middle of the wall where I most often shot off my load.\n\nMy mother was horrified.\n\nShe made me get hot soapy water and two brillo pads. My mother and I scrubbed all of my babies off the wall without saying a word. We had to scrub so hard that the paint behind the gunk was also rubbed off. It took us about 2 hours to scrub it all off because of the sheer volume of jizz that had accumulated overtime.\n\nThankfully, my mom assumed that one of my drunk buddies blacked out and puked behind my bed. It was thick enough and orange enough that it wasn't hard to see why she wouldn't assume it was her son's love juice.\n\nI now have acquired a jizz rag, but goddammit do I miss that wonderful slit", "summary": "came on my wall for 4 years, washed off the thick residue with my mom and the shame with a bottle of Jack"} {"id": "t3_20odf5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30/F] with my boyfriend [27/M] of almost one year, seems to have aggressive sleeping activity, but only after drinking - Have you dealt with this?", "post": "Let me state outright, my boyfriend is not an alcoholic. On the occasions that he does over indulge - he acts and behaves appropriately with me and others. My only frustration (for me) seem to be after he is fast asleep. \n\nAfter an evening of overindulgence, his sleep patters and sleep activity significantly affect my quality sleep time. After about 30 minutes, once we've gone to bed, begins roughly 3-4 hours of \n\n-heavy tossing and turning\n-blanket stealing\n-pillow stealing\n-he becomes a bed HOG\n-leg kicking\n-tossing/flinging his leg(s) and arm(s) over me\n-he will try to cuddle up with me by hugging me (kinda tightly)\n-he will occasionally get out of bed\n-attempt to leave the room\n-get out of bed to lay on the floor\n-fling himself back onto the bed...\n\nall while seeming to continue to sleep quite comfortably. I on the other hand, get nearly no sleep. He does not wake himself up during any of this. He remembers none of it, and barely believes me when I recall my evening of dealing with his aggressive sleeping.\n\nHe will wake up and is responsive when he does and will do what I ask - 'get back in bed', 'pick the covers up off the floor', etc... but then its right back to sleep and the same sleep aggressiveness.\n\nHave you dealt with this? My current technique is to sleep at my house/sleep on the couch or ask him to be more thoughtful of his alcohol intake on those nights when one of us plans to stay over. Are those my only options? Suggestions? Have you experienced similar sleep behavior with another person?", "summary": "Boyfriend is an aggressive sleeper after overindulging in alcohol, this completely interrupts my quality sleep time. Have you dealt with this?"} {"id": "t3_32xgai", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Don't have any empathy after I injure myself working for you, guess I'll follow the doctors advice to the letter", "post": "First i will apologize iin advance for formatting since I am on mobile. \n \n \nSo 2 months ago to the date I injured myself at work twice in the same week. As a result I've spent 4 weeks off work and have been seeing a physiotherapist daily since. Now it's bad enough when you imply I am faking it and I should suck it up in conversations even thought the m ore serious of the 2 accidents was caught on camera. So company policy is heartless and 4 day after being out on leave my private insurance will be cut since I'm no longer working. Dick move but I can live with that. But once I do come back to work and you write me up because I'm not smiling and looking happy.(I don't know about you guys but happy and smiling is probably not even in the top 50 words I would use to des rube someone in constant pain.) Then you threaten to dock me the time I spend icing my injuries from my pay and complain that working 3 hour shifts to accommodate my physio is a problem and mention you won't be able to give me hours if I can't do 4 hour shifts. That's when we have a real problem. \n \n \nDoes it surprise when after my last doctors visit I have a medical note saying I can only work 3 hour shifts 3 times a week. And another stating I have to ice each injury for 15 minutes every 90 minutes. So I guess I now have to punch in and Ice myself for 30 minutes work for 90 minutes then reapply ice for another 30 minutes then work the last 30 minutes. That's so much better than when all I asked for was to ice myself half way through my shift.", "summary": "Injured at work. Boss threatens to dock pay for applying Ice. Now has to pay for applying ice twice during shift."} {"id": "t3_ucqec", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Whats the best prank you've ever pulled or had pulled on you?", "post": "I'll start with one that was pulled on me today. Currently in Italy and I wanted to go a club later this evening to flirt with gorgeous Italian girls, needless to say I should of known this would backfire. However, I asked a man how to say \"You are beautiful\" in italian and he told me \"Vendisi\"\n\nWell I went to the club and approaches a beautiful woman and said \"Vendisi\" in which she glared at me and stormed off. Confused, I tried again, in which the next woman started screaming at me in Italian, the bouncers came over, they exchanged words and I was thrown out of the bar. \n\nI was confused and so upon returning to the hotel I asked the person at the front desk what I did wrong. Apparently \"Vendisi\" means \"For sale\" and I asked it in a tone that seemed more a question. In other words I accidentally just asked beautiful women if they were prostitutes and for sale...", "summary": "Accidentally asked women in another language if they were for sale and got kicked out of a bar for soliciting sex."} {"id": "t3_ghi8g", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm in 9th grade now, and I've been wondering this for a while. Am I right or stupid?", "post": "I don't get why school insist on teaching us the same stuff in history every year. When ever I ask they just say \"The past history is what made us who we are today\". But I always wondered what does that make todays news? Something for our great, great, great grand children to learn about, teaching them what made their future country what it is? Why can't we learn about things going on in Libya, things in Egypt, things going on now that is molding us today. Not the same old stuff that molded us into who we are. I want to learn about the present to help make a better future, not learn about the past that made us a better present. I want to know why these revolutions are happening now, not why the French revolted hundreds of years ago. They say were learning about the past to make a better future, then why the hell is there more revolutions? Are our great, great, great grandchildren going to learn about Libya and Egypt so they can make a better future while another revolution is happening? Is my rant stupid or am I making any sense?", "summary": "Why are we learning about the past revolutions to help make a better future when there is multiple happening now and learning about the past obviously hasn't been working out well?"} {"id": "t3_2wcwob", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not changing the place holder text on my Girlfriends website", "post": "Hello, this is my first TIFU here and I know it's not the best but here we go!\n\nSo my girlfriend recently transfered to a new school and she is trying to fit in with the new class mates and teachers.\nHer IT teacher asks if anyone is interested in composing a team to build and present a web site at the nation wide IT contest. The contest starts regional and goes national and has multiple categories (web design, web apps, programming, multimedia, etc.)\n\nShe has no knowledge and asks me (a programmer) to help her out with it and teach her a few things.\n\n---\n\nI make a website and give her some basic knowledge on how everything works, she is happy I am happy.\n\nI build the website in a day and show it off, it works ok, not much to talk about.\n\nI have 3 placeholder buttons, one is a to google, the other two have POOP and PISS written on them.\n\nWell, she copies the website's directory folder to her flash drive and goes to school, I too go to school.\n\nShe calls me up 1 hour before the end of my class we talk a little, she is all cool but wants to talk (ok?).\n\n---\nI go home and she tells me that she presented the website today and asked me what kind of silly stuff I wrote on the website.\n\nMy answer: Just HTML 5 and CSS 3 honey...why?\nGF: Think again...\nMe: *the think machine un-jams* OW SHIT! I FORGOT I SWEAR I FORGOT\n*home violence insues* (not really)", "summary": "TIFU by leaving 2 buttons that read POOP and PISS on my GFs website that she presented to her teacher."} {"id": "t3_18f2f4", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Is there a way of contacting this girl [22F] without being either a creepy stalker or a pathetic guy [23M] waiting for doomsday?", "post": "(throwaway) \n\nTo make long story short, I went to a party with a friend of mine and met a gorgeous girl. We looked at each other, smiled, started talking and spent almost the whole night together, finding out how much do we have in common, touching, smoking, drinking and ending up as one of the last couples on the dance floor.\n\nJudging from my experience, I'd say we really hit it off.\n\nGoing home the same subway line, I thought I would have a lot of time to ask her for a date / give me some kind of contact / etc., but my drunk friend decided to spend the whole journey trying to persuade her to come to our place and sleep with me, which was both funny and embarrassing at the same moment (I didn't want to do it, because I already knew she was not \"that kind\" of a girl as we didn't make out that night, although there was some lip contact while french smoking). We laughed it off and I almost telepathically killed him, however, she already had to exit the train, so she gave me a strong, 5 sec hug, kissed me on cheek and jumped off.\n\nNow, skipping the part when I'm an idiot being stunned and not able to use the 5 sec hug to ask for a surname, as we talked a lot, I know she studies at the same Uni and I was able to find her surname (yes, I successfully extracted her first name during the course of the evening) using school's contact directory (they surprisingly allow us to query the whole students' database, so I used the first name and her major as criteria) and look her up on FB.\n\nDo I message her when I get back to Uni (I'm out of town for a week right now), or just lay low and wait till we meet on campus / another similiar event, considering we share the same music / bar taste and the city is not that big?\n\nThe first option seems a bit creepy, the second a bit fantastical.", "summary": "Met a girl, had a great evening, wasn't able to get her contact info due to stupid circumstances, looked her up on FB. Do I message her?"} {"id": "t3_2hysxb", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not trimming my bush, and yes *that* bush", "post": "So this happened last week.\n\nSome background: I just graduated college last spring as an engineer. My gf graduated at the same time. My gf was in a sorority, but I was not in a fraternity. My gf has some friends from her sorority who are still in college but are not the brightest out there.\n\nLast week while I was playing video games after work, my gf comes in and tells me one of the aforementioned friends is showing up for some help with calculus. I said OK while not thinking to much of it. About an hour later the girl shows upa and I help her with her homework for about another hour or so when my gf stops us to eat dinner.\n\nDuring dinner the conversation between them (I was eating silently not really paying attention) turns to our (gf and myself) sex life. Sex has not been a big deal between us. We have been dating for three years, and while having had many passionate moments which were enjoyed on both sides, it has not been the priority in our lives.\n\nThe sorority girl finds this interesting and assumes it is my fault. The last time we \"did the deed\" was about a month and half ago on her birthday. Since then, I had not bothered to trim or shave down below.\n\nMy gf and the girl soon begin to get frisky from all the sex talk and are starting to get it on. \n\nSkip ahead 45 minutes (that which is in the middle I shall leave to your imagination; hint: we had a threesome), the sorority girl now thinks (and my gf is turning to her side) that my bush \"seriously diminished the overall quality of the sex.\" To which I respond they didn't give me a heads up or anything to prepare; it just sort of went down. \n\nSo now my gf doesn't like our sex anymore because of that threesome.", "summary": "had a threesome with gf and gf's friend while having a wicked nasty bush, gf no long wants to have sex because of this negative experience..."} {"id": "t3_egbkr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Would You Write an Anonymous Letter About Your Secrets to a Perfectly Good Stranger to be Pieced Together for an Art Show?", "post": "Redditors, I have an inquiry here of great meaning to me. To give a few background notes, I am an art student who has an obsession with the unspoken aspects of our existence. It has been the theme of my work (some performance pieces) and I would like it to be an exposition for my final show at the end of the year. \n\nI know that everyone has things, no matter how relegable they seem to PostSecret content, that they just can't tell other people. Things about themselves, their thoughts, unexpressed hurt (or even the beauty they perceive in little things that they feel others would belittle them for even having thought it); anything. I am asking if I could recruit the help of the Reddit community in the form of anonymous letters to me about these things. I'm not sure how I would manage this yet, I'd suppose I'd have to get a P.O. Box or something of that sort. But this is not PostScecret and I am not going to sort through them for the ones that are most marketable. They will all be arranged together and hung as aspect of my final show. (I would like to note that I do not attend an unknown institution, so it is not as if the things you write to me will be hanging in the unfrequented space of some tiny art school in a backwoods Nebraska town. I would very much like it if I could have some feedback on how many would be interested in this.\n\nLet me be the friend to your Charlie? (if you get the reference)", "summary": "Would you be interested in writing a letter about your unspoken and unexpressed thoughts and emotions to a complete stranger as a part of her art show?"} {"id": "t3_mn1hr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Any ideas on what this tick sound could be? Any personal experiences with it?", "post": "Ok so when I was a child there was this tick sounds in my room, it would randomly start when I was playing or something.. tick ... tick.. tick .. tick tick TICK TICK TICK. It would start slow then get louder and more aggressive. When I would get up to go look for where the sound was coming from it would stop. Sometimes it would even stop when I would turn to face where it was coming from. I forgot about this. Then years later when I moved in with my bf at the time. It started again when we were in bed. It was the same; it would start slow get faster, stop when you move or talk. It would drive my bf crazy. He took everything out of the bookshelves trying to find it. But you could never pin point where it was coming from. And it would always stop when you try to find it. As soon as your almost asleep again.. tick ..tick.. tick. TICK TICK TICK. Sometimes we would just yell at it to shut up. Sometimes it was like it was right next to us in the air. This was a few years ago. Now I have it in my room again. Does anybody else have this tick, and know what the hell it is? I have no idea.", "summary": "I have a tick sound in my room which moves around and stops when I try to find it, Does anyone know what this is?"} {"id": "t3_48zurb", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By nearly paralyzing myself", "post": "While this fuck up didn't occur today, I have finally found a community to share my stupidity with. \n\nSeveral months ago I decided to join the gym in an attempt to get in shape before my 30s(I'm 26 now) and my body no longer wants to cooperate. Over the course of trying to find a routine that worked for me I had observed several people using the roll out ab wheel. Looks easy enough I thought foolishly. So, on a slow day at the gym I found a quiet spot in the yoga room and decided to attempt ab roll outs. \nThere was one problem, and so began my fuck up, I couldn't recall if the people I observed started the exercise in a standing position or on their knees. After deciding starting on my knees sounded too easy I chose to the standing position. With my back against the wall, I bent over with the roll out wheel at my feet and began to slowly roll forward. Only then did I realize my core couldn't support my weight and as I hurriedly rolled onto my face I heard my entire spine crack. It sounded like someone ran their hand from key to key along the length of a piano. I laid face down with my arms outstretched still clutching the roll wheel wondering if I had just become a paraplegic. After a minute or two of lying there I wiggled my toes and let out an embarrassed chuckle because by now more people had trickled into the yoga room. Although I am not paralyzed, every time I step off the curb too hard I feel jolts of pain in my spine as if someone is tazing me.", "summary": "I tried to use ab roll out wheel and cracked my spine from tailbone to my neck and thought I became a paraplegic"} {"id": "t3_27gx1b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 17/M struggling to work out what to do with 17/F friend", "post": "My very close friend has been dating one of my other close (but not as close) friends of five years for nearly a year now. she has told me that things between them aren't really working (not happy but not unhappy) and that she has liked someone else for nearly 4 years and thinks that she would be much happier with them. I am at least 90% sure that that person is me and she was recently asking me for advice on whether or not to break up with current boyfriend to pursue other person.\n\nhere's where it gets kinda messy. I am going on an overseas holiday with some of my friends (current boyfriend included) at the end of the year to celebrate graduating. I don't see things being very enjoyable for anyone if she breaks up with him to be with me before then, but, that is a long time to be in a relationship where there isnt really a point. \n\nAlso, our school Formal is in a little over two months and things have been being finalized for a while. I told her to think about it until afterwards otherwise things could get difficult (tables/limos/etc.) and not to break up with one person to pursue another. \n\nI think that I could see us together but I'm not sure. Please help, I'm way out of my depth here and have no idea what to do.", "summary": "i think my friend A wants to break up with another friend B to be with me when me when im going on a holiday with friend B soon"} {"id": "t3_2r665y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [16m] in love with my best friend [16f]", "post": "First off I'd like to start by saying that this is my first post here so my apologies if it isn't clear or any other issues I will gladly elaborate on anything if needed. Although I am young I am mature for my age and if you could please read and comment on this post with an open mind and try to keep the \"you're still in high school\" to a minimum I would appreciate that as well!\n\nI'm in love with my best friend, all my friends are fed up with her, because they think I'm wasting my time, all her friends think we would be amazing together but none the less they can't make her see it.\n\nWe hang out a lot and we always make each other laugh and brighten our day... I've seen her get used by almost every guy she's ever gotten semi serious with. Even though she's a beautiful girl inside and out she seems to attract assholes who just want sex. We both want a long term relationship.\n\nShe has honestly changed my life, I think about her all day everyday, I'm a better person because she's made me try to improve, sometimes I lay in bed and just cry because I feel so hopeless but I can't bring myself to give up because she is the perfect girl for me, you know that girl that you imagine when you close your eyes and think about the perfect girl? The girl you think you will probably never meet because someone like that probably doesn't exist? That's her to me..\n\nThe frustration and confusion is so unreal I can't even explain it, it's the most painful thing i've ever experienced, when you want something so bad you would do anything for it, but you can't have it.\n\nI'm too embarrassed by the fact that I'm in love with someone who doesn't see me as anything more then a friend to tell anyone. She knows I'm interested in more but I don't think she understands that these feelings are never going to leave me no matter how much she says \"we should stay friends\" I'm not going to be able to settle with that.", "summary": "I'd rather you read the post but if you absolutely cannot! Basically I am in love with my best friend but she doesn't think we should be more then friends."} {"id": "t3_1g0k94", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[24/m] Starting to date again... how to deal with issues from being sexually abused when I was younger?", "post": "So to begin, when I was about 11, there was a summer in which I was abused by an older neighbor. For the most part it wasn't really something that weighed on my mind much at all throughout my teen years but I had enough going on that I didn't really do any dating in high school. In college though I quickly got a girlfriend, the first real relationship for either of us. Long story short, we \"dated\" for a little over two years but it mainly consisted of just hanging out watching tv in each other's arms. Our first kiss didn't happen like a year and a half in and physically things got no further. It was incredibly frustrating to me to not make a move or even express myself that our break-up happened over Facebook. It ended without me ever telling her what happened to me back then. \n\nI've done no dating since then but I've just started trying to get back into it. I've had a few first dates and one second date, with things not progressing for the typical reasons. But what's been on my mind a lot more now is what will happen if a date DOES lead to a serious relationship. I don't want to keep this thing hidden from someone I love like I did last time, but I don't want to feel like I'm using it as a crutch for not showing affection or advancing physically or whatever. \n\nDoes anyone have any advice they could offer? To anyone who either was in this position or their SO was, when in the relationship did it come up?", "summary": "Sexually abused when I was 11. No relationship til college. Never progressed beyond kissing, never told her about my past. Want to be more open if I get into another serious relationship but I have zero clue beyond that vague goal."} {"id": "t3_296urw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (17M) think my girlfriend (17F) is being selfish.", "post": "been with my girl for like 2 years now. I really enjoy her and we have a lot of fun. She's kind of nerdy, but I like her that way. She cosplays a couple times a year and it's pretty cool to watch her make and sew her own costumes from scratch and then wear them. It's impressive.\n\nWell, I have this awesome punk band I am apart of. We have been getting a lot of gigs this summer and have been having a lot of fun with it. So, we have a show in July on Sunday. My gf knew this. It falls on the Sunday of one of her conventions, but she agreed to only go on Friday and Saturday and then go with us to our gig (about 45 minutes away.) She preordered her ticket. Well, then we got a second invite for another show that same weekend, but on the Friday and we all agreed to it, and when I told her, she was very upset and reminded me that it was the weekend of the con. I had forgotten, but I asked if she could go with us and just go on Saturday, but she told me no, that she still wanted to go to her con. The gig is in the evening, so she said she'd go earlier on Friday and leave by early afternoon and just meet us at the gig, but I think thats unnecessary gas being wasted.\n\nI know she's preordered and she put a lot of work into her costume, but I think it's a little selfish that she won't give Friday up, she has all day Saturday to go to the convention.\n\nHow can I convince her to not go on Friday?", "summary": "girlfriend won't give up one day a convention to come see my band, how do i convince her to do it anyway?"} {"id": "t3_4ffz34", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19 F] boyfriend [19 M] of a little over a week said \"I love you\"", "post": "So this is my first serious relationship and his first relationship ever. We've known each other for a little over 2 years and became best friends in that time.\n\nSomewhere in that time he developed feelings for me, which I kept trying to ignore because I didn't return them. That went on for more than a year. But, 2 months ago I realized I liked him back. Things escalated and he's been my boyfriend for a little over a week.\n\nYesterday though, we were hanging out in my house, making out. I stopped to look at him for a while and smiled, he looked at me for a moment and said \"I love you\" quietly and kissed me again after few seconds. I smiled, kissed back and left it there. It felt genuine.\n\nNow, I didn't want to make a big fuzz about it because he is still one of my best friends and I guess I get where he's coming from (the fact that he has had feeling for me for more than a year). But I don't know what to do. We've talked and texted since then as if nothing ever happened. Do I keep ignoring it? Hope he doesn't repeat it until its appropiate? God forbid, address it?\n\nI want to leave it clear, though. I've not been happier in a long time and my feelings are really strong for him. But I don't know if I can say it yet.", "summary": "My best friend of 2 years became my boyfriend a week ago, said \"I love you\" to me yesterday, and now I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_rz5uw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "SO's friend died, now friends family is..", "post": "GF/SO (16) and me (17). Been together 8 months.\n\n.\n\nA couple of months ago my SO's close friend died (i'll call him M), and a week after she made her first visit over there to pay her respects. She had never met this guy, but he was hitting on her for about a month prior to him dying - SO said no and ignored everything from him. He told his family about my SO, but never mentioning she has a BF. She's told me she told them she has a BF, but then one of them posts on her FB wall - \"future wife of M\" with a picture of my SO next to his grave.\n\nToday she tells me, she has agreed to let his family pay half her tuition - but the catch being she has to visit 2 or more times a month (alone). SO told me that they have money to spare, they don't need it so they want to pay half her tuition..\n\nShe also mentioned as shes the \"closest\" friend, she is now like a daughter to them. She's spent the last week over there at their place.\n\nI really have no idea what to think about this..", "summary": "SO's friend died, SO agreed to let friends family pay half her tuition if she visits 2+ times a month."} {"id": "t3_3qsfzz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my SO [25 F], I have seen some of her exes and they are significantly more attractive, hard to believe when she says I am cute/hot/sexy.", "post": "Hey, this is my first time posting to this sub. I have recently (3-4) months started seeing a new girl, and everything is great. We communicate well, have fun together and really get along, and have a very satisfying and healthy sex life. I am very attracted to her physically and mentally, and feel she is too.\n\nThe only problem is, I have seen pictures of her exes, and they are VERY attractive. It has made it hard for me to accept when she says I am cute/hot/sexy because I don't really compare in my mind...it has really hurt my self-confidence and I don't really know how to get past this.\n\nI'm not saying this is a deal breaker or anything close, not even an issue besides that I kinda just don't feel attractive anymore. Someone please give me any advice or reassurance.", "summary": "Girlfriend has some very attractive exes and it's hurt my self confidence. I wanna believe she thinks im \"sexy\" but its making it hard."} {"id": "t3_2kftoa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm thinking about divorce.", "post": "I [26F] have been with my husband[29M] for almost 9 years now, married for 4. In the last 2 years I have had serious second thoughts about being with my husband forever. He is a really great guy, very responsible and he wants children but right now at I don't really want that. I want to travel and party and have fun but he's not really in to that at all. I've also had problems with attraction. He's is around 250lbs and I'm just honestly not attracted to him at all. Lately since I have been going out with friends he has been jealous and it has caused a lot of fights. I kinda just feel done with it all. I care about him but I feel like the love has gone and I don't know if it will ever come back. I get annoyed easily at him and really don't have any desire to spend time with him. Is there any hope? Should I just accept it and try to end this as amicably as possible?", "summary": "I've lost the love and attraction to my husband, should I just throw in the towel? All we do is fight."} {"id": "t3_1tqbvf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my ex [19F] broke up 6 months ago, broke no contact and left me feeling in a weird place", "post": "long story short we were together on and off for 4 years she broke up with me 15 times and cheated on me 3, last summer she came back from college and slept with me a few times and then said we couldn't be together cause i was an atheist and she was a firm believer since she had been going to a private christian school. i broke no contact and talked to her and the thing that stuck out most was she said her purpose was either to be with me or lead me to god and the man had to be the spiritual leader in the relationship and she couldn't have that with me, idk why but it gets to me is there something wrong with me, i mean i can't change the way i think but am i less of a man cause i couldn't give her what she needed, maybe I'm just crazy just needed to vent thanks for anyone who listened.", "summary": "talked to me ex and she said that because i wasn't a believer i couldn't give her what she wanted despite everything else makes me feel inadequate and like somethings wrong with me."} {"id": "t3_26uuq5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21M) am wondering - do I like her (20F) or do I just love the attention?", "post": "So I'm a 21 y/o male who is currently pursuing a STEM degree. I have never been in a relationship, and up until recently, I haven't met ANY eligible girl whose company I enjoyed.\n\nEarlier this year, a shy girl started working where I do. I eventually got her to open up and she's now friends with me and all of our coworkers. She began to gravitate towards me and we recently started to text/flirt - its been going nonstop. I'm planning on asking her out, but something crossed my mind that I can't shake off.\n\nBasically, I've never texted/flirted with other girls before. But I often fantasize about spending time with a SO. How do I know that I want to spend time with THIS girl - not just A girl? I guess the first few dates could answer that question. But...we are friends and coworkers. I don't want to risk creating an awkward barrier between us (if things don't work out) if I don't have to.\n\nSomething else contributing to my worries is the fact that I am still looking at other girls. I know that we haven't even gone out on a date, but I have been thinking about her/flirting with her a lot. I would think that if I was honestly interested in a girl all my attention would be shifted towards her and no other female. That hasn't happened (yet). I guess something I'm afraid of is getting involved in a relationship and then dumping her to be with/gawk at someone else a week later. I've seen guys do this, and I'm worried that I may turn out to be like them.", "summary": "Wondering if I want to spend time with this specific girl, or if I just want to fulfill my fantasies of having a SO."} {"id": "t3_2awmh9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M 21] agreed and signed to move to my gf's [F 19] college town, and now that the move in date is near, I am second guessing everything.", "post": "Backstory: I have been dating my gf for over 3 years now, the last 2 have been long distance (just 3 hours).\n\nAbout 3 months ago I left my IT helpdesk job and decided I needed to go back to school for a BA in programming. Since that job was one of the major things keeping me in my town, my gf proposed me moving to her town. Since I am doing online classes, I would be able to move and live with two of her male friends that I have become good friends with.\n\nIt sounded like a great idea, new town, new friends, and only being a short walk away from her apartment. But then I started really thinking about what this all meant. \n\nThis means that I am committing to this relationship much more then I ever have, not to say that Im half-assing the relationship now. I guess I'm really scared of this big of a commitment. Now I'm second guessing everything, especially my lack of experience outside of this relationship (we have both only ever had sex with each other). \n\nOn one hand I really want to experience the thrill of a new person, but I know everyone goes through that phase and I know the real goal for me is a life long partner. \n\nI feel like its too late for a \"break\" and I already tried that idea to little avail. I love her so much and I feel like we are really great for each other. I do not want to risk our 3 year relationship for no reason. But what if we are just habitually together? I just want to get this nagging feeling out of my head. \n\nOh and the lease starts at my new place in her town on august fifteenth, so I have to have it figured out by then.\n\nplease help", "summary": "I signed a lease to move to my gf's town and now that the move in date is near, I am second guessing everything."} {"id": "t3_26ceyw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Can someone help me [21/F] define this relationship [24/M]?", "post": "I've been seeing a guy for about two months and a half, for a total of around 18 dates. I think I brought up the exclusivity talk too early (around the 5th date), and when I had asked if he was looking for an exclusive thing, he replied with a sheepish, \"uh, I don't know.\" I said, \"oh, okay.\" \n\nWe kept seeing each other, and when I had stumbled across his okcupid profile, I texted him, \"oh, you're on okc X).\" He replied really quickly, saying \"oh lol yeah but I never use it. and never had much luck with it. you?\" and I had said, \"tried it a bit in the past.\" The next day, he texted me, \"I'm not seeing anyone else, if that's what you're afraid of.\" I told him \"that's good to know. I'm not either.\" \n\nHe hasn't been on the okc account since January, though I have also stumbled across his profile on another friend/dating site, that he does go on seemingly on a weekly basis (howaboutwe.com). He's bought me a gift recently (a soap holder that he said was my color). He's said some rather nice things like, \"You make me feel safe,\" has called being with me \"addictive,\" and told me I was pretty... \n\nI'm not really sure where we are now, and I don't really want to have that conversation with him again. I also haven't had a lot of experience with relationships (he said he hasn't either), so any outside opinions on what it seems like this thing we're doing is would be great. Thanks in advance!", "summary": "Inexperienced girl has been seeing a guy for two months, and would like some outsider evaluation on what type of relationship it is."} {"id": "t3_kenlr", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Korean Redditors: I need your help (for my dad who has cancer)", "post": "My dad is battling cancer for the third time and the chemotherapy treatment is much more intense this time around and he's suffering through terrible nausea, vomiting, pain, and depression. It's hard to see him like this as we still have many more long months ahead of us. The medications are barely helping and it makes me nervous to see my dad having to take morphine and valium and the like. I also happen to be an avid pot smoker (he doesn't know) and am aware of the therapeutic benefits of marijuana for cancer patients. \n\nMy Korean is... OKAY. I can speak conversationally and I read/write rather slowly. It's been hard for me to go through Korean websites looking for information I can show my dad so that he can consider for himself if he'd like to try some weed via vaporizer. If you are fluent in Korean, I know it shouldn't take you too long to find an article or anything I can print out and show my father. I really would appreciate it if you could help us.", "summary": "My Korean dad has cancer, please post reliable, accurate articles discussing the benefits (and also risks) of marijuana for cancer patients."} {"id": "t3_2bynom", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not answering my phone.", "post": "A couple weeks ago I was out of town visiting a friend for her birthday. We just finished our freshman year of college, so we're all at home for the summer, but her parents were out of town, so we had her house to ourselves.\n\nOne of her other friends who is super hot, but a total dick was there. \nAt the beginning of the year, I had a crush on this dude, but like I said, he was a total ass. Anyway I'M FUCKING HAMMERED when we get back from downtown and I go to bed with this guy. Sex is one of the few times I don't have my phone by my side, so it's usually on silent. ANYWAY, I plugged it in to charge. We're about 45 minutes deep and hear a knock on the door. \n\n\"CBinNeverland, come tell the cops you're alive!\" MY MOM CALLED THE COPS BECAUSE I DIDN'T RESPOND TO HER TEXT FOR 30 MINUTES. I check my phone and there's FIFTEEN new texts and FORTY MISSED CALLS. **FORTY.** I am 19 years old, mind you. So we've all been drinking and I'm thinking \"Dammit, mom. You're paying my underage fines.\" I walk out in his t-shirt and my underwear.\n\nThe cop starts laughing when he realizes I'm **nineteen** and my mom went nuts because I didn't answer for 30 minutes. He has me call her, assure her I'm alive and leaves. But I was humiliated and pissed and my friends still think it is just the funniest thing that's ever happened to us.", "summary": "my mom freaked out because her daughter who is a college sophomore didn't answer the phone for 30 minutes and had the cops come."} {"id": "t3_4of8i1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(17M)am gealous because my girlfriend(16F) of over 4 months is having conversation that she starts with my classmate.", "post": "I am now really down because of this. We had an argument 2 months ago about this and I told her to stay away from my classmate(he is a really bad person and always speaks really bad about her when he is with others or even with me, we've been colleagues for 10 years now and he is awful, I hate him), and I'm sick of it. \nThe problem is, today after checking her phone I realized she starts most conversation and he is mostly not answering to her immediately. \nI am not sure what to do and I am really confused and really really sad and disappointed. What should I do?", "summary": "Anxios about talking with my girlfriend about her feelings and why he speaks with one of my classmates,after having an argument 2 months prior about it."} {"id": "t3_2kygt7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description", "post": "Officially, polygamy is still illegal. I am optimistic though. I do well with girls. I had five gfs for most of this past summer. It fell apart when I had to kick one of the girls out.\n\nI kind of fell into having five gf to start with. I had a gf, but we were breaking up because of distance. I started dating a new girl, and the old gf wanted to date me. They both moved in, and we looked for a third, then a fourth but we found two. Didn't want to pick between them. So boom, five gfs in the period of six months. They all lived with me for three weeks, then I had to kick out the third. She was just in it for fun, and the rest of us were all serious to the best of my knowledge. So then I kicked out after we talked about it. Well we stayed together for two months, the four girls and I.\n\nThen one left. She left, and we all waited. She wanted to come back, I said there would be a waiting period when she returned to make sure we were all good. She was upset that she would singled out, and then didn't want to come back. That ticked off one of the girls remaining.\n\nSo now I have one gf left, but she has to move back home to help her family in December.\n\nSo I am looking for girls serious about polygamy now, because I am hooked. It was the best ever. I think five was a bit much, I only have three other window seats in my truck, so I am thinking three is great.\n\nThis mission seems impossible. I mean I am looking for three gamers that like to work their forty hours in a week, and do things as a family like snowboard.\n\nI don't care if someone doesn't believe me. I just want to know where to meet girls like this. \n\nI am currently trying dating sites. Not sure how I can make it happen.", "summary": "I can date girls easy, but I want to date 2- 3 awesome girls who are into cohabiting or nearly polygamy"} {"id": "t3_21srun", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (F33) Accept I may never have kids?", "post": "Yeah, I know many women have kids well into their 40s, but most don't. I'm almost 34 and I feel like there's no prospects in sight. I've been with a guy (37) for 4 years, but we're still not engaged. There's still no commitment. He won't even add me as a friend on Facebook, not to mention his status is still 'single'. I feel like a damn teenager here caring about stupid things like diamond rings and Facebook status, but what am I supposed to do? Date him until all my eggs are gone?\n\nI can't afford to ever freeze my eggs. I could possibly use a sperm donor if I move in with my parents... but then I'll have a kid but no man, possibly ever.\nI know the answer is to leave him, but it's almost like, why bother? I'll probably never find anyone to have kids with soon enough.\n\nI let him know when we got together that I wanted to get married and have kids... he pretended to be on the same page. Then he just kept leading me on. And I feel like it's too late now.\n\nI am so scared I will never have a kid.\n\nI don't know the point of this post. I'm just really sad. I wish men would realize exactly what they were doing when they lead women on this late in life. It's cruel.", "summary": "getting old, boyfriend of 4 years still won't commit. i feel like it's too late to start over to try to have kids."} {"id": "t3_1mqjj0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How would Reddit feel about a Reddit podcast?", "post": "I'm developing a podcast as a part of my Master's thesis in mass communications. In media terms, Reddit represents an evolved audience in that we are capable and willing to participate in the production, distribution, and alteration of various kinds of media. I want to harness this potential by allowing the community to determine the shape and style of a podcast. \n\nWould any of you be interested in listening to and/or contributing to the production of a podcast that derives the majority of its content from things posted in various places among the Reddit community? \n\nI plan on using the podcast to discuss issues that the community has deemed important through voting, and I'd like to highlight some of the funny, poignant, heartwarming, and fascinating posts that make it onto the site like many of the TILs, ELI5s, LifeHacks, etc. However, I really want to get the community involved! \n\nI have considered interviewing highly active users, mods, and admin, but I would love to hear any and all of your ideas about how I can create something that is truly valuable to at least some of the wonderful people who enjoy Reddit as much as I do.", "summary": "I'm creating a reddit-based podcast and want your ideas on how to make it great/valuable to the Reddit community."} {"id": "t3_2mo3w3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Getting mixed signals from 25M (I'm 24F). Dated three weeks, acquaintances for a year. Help?", "post": "Went on a few dates with him and things are going okay - it's honest, straightforward, and no games. Two of our friends are in a serious relationship so that's how we know each other. We genuinely enjoy each other's company. \n\nDate 3 rolls around, we're at his place, and he says something along the lines of \"I've been having fun being with you and I've been looking forward to seeing you all week, but I have to confess, I'm not falling in love with you.\" I'm gutted and say that \"good thing, because I was starting to fall for you\", but we mutually decide to go back to being just friends and left it at that. This was Friday night.\n\nFast forward to Monday (I cried and drank a bottle of wine to feel the rejection out, and then resolved to move on Sunday.). I get a text sending me hugs, love, and butterflies (flowery language isn't uncommon from him, but it's very lovey-dovey) which then confused the shit out of me. I replied in a friendly fashion and have resolved that he's doing all the initiating from now on. My attachment was nipped in the bud by saying what he said, but now I'm confused. I miss the days when we were straightforward and I knew what to expect. None of this 'friends on Friday' and then 'sending me love' on Monday. \n\nWhere do I go from here? Do I reset boundaries when I see him next (because that conversation isn't exactly text-appropriate) or just let him figure his shit out while I keep living my life as I did before we started seeing each other? Someone has suggested cutting him out completely (more like telling him to go fuck himself), but I really don't want that :(", "summary": "Dated for three weeks, he decided he's not falling for me while I've started to get attached so back to being friends. Getting mixed signals... what to do now?"} {"id": "t3_3jvoba", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "I'm a socially awkward [22M] who needs some help with a [26F] class mate.", "post": "I recently started a new education. On the first day I was sat next to a girl that I fell in talks with and have a lot in common with. \n___________\nFor the last week we've been sitting next to each other and hanging out in the breaks. We even walk about 10 minutes of the way home together most of the time. \n___________\nNow, here is the issue. I have some level of social anxiety and am pretty introvert in general, so its quite rare I find someone I can talk to.\nAnd we are talking about a girl in a class full of programmers. I am somewhat scared that if I wait too long I'll lose my chance.\n\nEspecially since she is a smoker and I am not, she often talks to the 1 other smoker in our class who is also showing sings of interest in her.\n___________\nSo far my only real contact with her outside of school is facebook, and we've only talked very little on there twice where I initiated, but being the coward I am I pretty much stop all communication she replies with something that isn't a direct question or topic prompt.\n___________\nBesides that, even if I decided to ask her out, I have 0 dates under my belt, and don't know the town that well despite having lived her for 3 years (yay for social anxiety!)\n___________\n\nMight well be over analyzing everything, but I kinda need some advice on what to do in general, since asking out directly might be a bit too fast since we only met a week ago. Any way I can try to show her I am interested without being too much of a creep?", "summary": "Don't want to miss my chance with a girl in my class, but I am quite socially awkward. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_15tj4f", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Did I misread a situation, or am I looking too much into it? (23 M) And (18-25? F)", "post": "Background:\n\nI'm a 23(M) and am clueless about most female interactions aside from platonic friendships and professional settings. Basically I'm crap at reading inbetween the lines and taking hints from females.\n\nWhenever I have had an opportunity I always backed out as I worried what other people may think, worried that I was being a 'sleaze' etc, but deep down I know it's probably a self confidence thing.\n\nHave/had low self confidence and have issues with insecurity which I am working on improving.\n\nSituaution:\n\nIn a large crowd standing very close together with strangers at a New Years Eve music festival.\n\nWhat happened:\n\nAn attractive female began bumping into me during the New Years concert. She was with a bunch of other females I assumed to be her friends, so I thought she was just a bit excited for the band / the fact it was New Years.\n\nAfter a while she started some small talk about how the band at the time wasn't that good, I reciprocated and made some light hearted jokes regarding the band.\n\nA few more minutes pass of her bumping into me while dancing, she asks if I could lift her up on my shoulders so she could see the band playing better - I oblige, not thinking much of it.\n\nAfterwards she thanked me and went in for a hug.\n\nMy friends then begin to walk away, I begin to get nervous and worry that they are leaving me; so I hug the girl again and wished her a happy New Years and said goodbye.\n\nMy analysis:\n\n- She either was interested in me and my insecurities lead me to believe she wasn't or;\n\nShe only built rapport with me so she could get on my shoulders for the final song by the band (it was the only reason anyone was waiting around for that band).\n\nQuestion:Did I misread her intentions or am I reading too much into it?", "summary": "Girl kept bumping into me at a concert, hoisted her on my shoulders. I am unsure whether or not she was interested in me or just to get a better view of the band."} {"id": "t3_1tp8bf", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "19/m] I fucked up Christmas and my girlfriend [19/f] is really upset at me and I don't know what to do", "post": "My girlfriend and I got into a fight at her house, she pulled my hair and I asked her not to put her hands on me like that and then she slapped me, so I pushed her and she fell back into a shelf, and her parents rushed in and her dad punched me in the face, and then I was moved from the house to the yard where I was talked to by her dad, and they gathered all of my things and gave them to me and her dad took me home. She hasn't talked to me since I left and I am going crazy, I love this girl more than life itself and I want to be with her more than anything. This was the first time anything was physical between us and now I don't know what to do. She removed our relationship from facebook and it says single now and I don't know what to do. Everyone is telling me that I should just give it time and it will be ok, i've left her a bunch of messages and voicemails yet no response. So Reddit, please help me", "summary": "got into a fight, things got a little physical, girlfriend hasn't talked to me since it happened, wondering what is going on"} {"id": "t3_2wrgne", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by cursing in front of my friend's mom.", "post": "So last weekend my friend's mom took me, her daughter, and another girl (SJ) to the mall. As we were driving there I was looking through my phone and texting a friend. So while I'm typing on my phone my friend, SJ, looked over my shoulder and made \"Really?\" face. This is where the fuck up begins, my friend, the daughter, told me not to curse in front of her mother, an extremely religious white woman. It was the one thing I was not supposed to do. I looked at SJ and told her, \"Shut the fuck up.\" My friend's mother turned around and stared at me in disbelief. She then pulled out a cross from her necklace and held it in front of me asking me if I thought the lord approved of my words. I began to profusely apologize to her, but the damage was done.\n\nNow fast forward to this weekend, yesterday the daughter, SJ, another friend of ours, and I were at a drill competition waiting for our turn to go into the box. As we were waiting the mother comes up to us to just chat a bit while we waited to compete. When she saw me she began to berate my language. She told me that my word choice was \"unbecoming of a lady,\" that I had a potty mouth, and was a trash talker. She said all these things repeatedly as she chatted with us. It wasn't subtle either, she would be talking to her daughter saying something like, \"So what are you going to do for lunch, are they selling food or\u2026\" and then she would look at me and say something like, \"Your trashy friend looks tired, did she wear herself out with all that potty language?\"\n\nSo yeah, that happened. I didn't mean to curse in front of my friend's mom, it just came out and I had only said one curse word. I began profusely apologizing to the mother afterwards but I'm pretty sure she disliked me now.", "summary": "Said the F word in front of an extremely religious white woman, now she thinks I'm unbecoming of a woman."} {"id": "t3_1k7aa6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Recently discovered me (17M) and my girlfriend (17F) have completely different life plans. Help needed.", "post": "First and for most I would just like to apologise for any grammatical errors as I am currently writing this on my mobile.\n\nAnyway recently I, a 17 year old male, who is still studying at college (UK) have discovered from casual talking with my girlfriend of 10 months that we have completely different life plans.\n\nI want to explore the world, have as much fun as possible and then hopefully move abroad to a country like USA and set up my own business and become a successful entrepreneur. Then with a sufficient bank balance, settle down with a family and hopefully have some kids.\n\nThis differs a lot from my girlfriend who wants to stay in our hometown and just have a casual job at a little shop and live close to her parents then get marries and have some kids.\n\nNow I have no intention of doing this as I really despise my hometown and i see very limited career opportunities here and i am pretty sure i won't be able to be a successful entrepreneur here.\n\nAnyway i am just a bit stuck as to whether to talk to her about my concerns or whether i should break up with her as soon as i can.\nAny advice is welcomed as i am completely stuck with what to do.\nThanks.", "summary": "I recently found out my girlfriend and I have completely different life plans and I dont know whether or not to break it up as soon as possible or just talk to her about it."} {"id": "t3_4912ur", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to Cope up with breakup", "post": "My boyfriend [25] and I [20] have.. Had I guess been dating for almost two years now. It was a very on and off thing. We broke up almost a month and a half ago and we got back together after 2 weeks. \nThis time things were different. He bought up his concerns and when we got together I made sure that his concerns weren't there anymore and I tried really hard to be an amazing girlfriend.\n\nI put in a lot of effort and today he got upset because I wasn't able to hang out when he was free. And he straight up said that he wasn't happy and I wasn't trying which hurt so much for so many reasons. He said we should be in an open relationship and I said I'm not going to go down that road and broke up with him. \n\nI know it's the right thing to do but idk how do deal with being single, having no one to send messages to and not having to talk to him. How do I keep myself distracted and not talk to him. I have no will power and that's why I keep going back to him. This is the only relationship ive been in. Also, my birthday is in 10 days so I would like to deal with this shit as soon as possible", "summary": "broke up with the only guy ive been with. Want to move on but dont know how. Also need help finding something i can distract myself with"} {"id": "t3_13q2lb", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [21f] feel like my bf [22m] already knows everything about me... now what?", "post": "We've been together for a year and a half and I have never been happier. The relationship is just as wonderful as the day we met, only better, because we have a year and a half's worth more of shared experiences. We are honest, have no trust issues, communicate well, have a great sex life, and enjoy each other's company. All in all, perfect.\n\nExcept... I realized the other day. I feel like I have nothing interesting left to tell my bf. I really feel like he knows EVERYTHING about me... we even talk about things that most people don't talk about in a relationship. I can find interesting things to tell him about each day, like stuff that I do, but once that runs out, I feel like I just have nothing to say. I suppose we might spend too much time together, and it might help to do more things apart... but I am happiest when I'm spending time with him, and we share most interests, so why not just both do stuff? I end up wishing he was there when I do stuff alone, because I know he'd like it too.\n\nAnyway,", "summary": "I feel like I've already told my boyfriend my whole life story. How do I come up with ways to keep the conversation interesting?"} {"id": "t3_2w93gx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 F] with my Boyfriend [29 F] dating for almost a year, I feel upset about his insensitive reaction to my getting laied off, he says I'm wrong and should stop projecting.", "post": "I found out I got laid off this morning and expressed to my boyfriend how sad and upset I was about it. He woke up and went straight to his phone and gave me the occasional mhmm and uhuhhs as he messed around on his phone. I continued to state that I was really upset and sad about the matter and he finally put one arm as if to say \"fine you can lay on me.\" When I did that however, he didn't put his phone away or anything. Instead he used my head as a phone rest while he continued to reddit. I found the fact that he couldn't be bothered to put his phone down when I as obviously really upset for something reasonable completely insensitive. He says I'm wrong and shouldn't project how I expect people to act when they are comforting others and that's just his way to comfort. I think I should have at least had his undivided attention for a few seconds when I was as upset as I was. Am I wrong to think he's an insensitive jerk?", "summary": "got laid off from work and went to my boyfriend for comfort. He couldn't even be bothered to put his phone away for a moment during the exchange."} {"id": "t3_xccdu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, my peaceful community has been shook up by a stabbing/sexual assault down the street and I'm leading a militia of local men to meet this adversity and keep the peace. Thoughts?", "post": "Where I live is a pretty quiet place, but we do live in a somewhat rough town. Poverty and unemployment are on the rise. My end of town has been all in all a very peaceful place, many families live here and less then 3 blocks away from my house some idiot stabbed and sexually assaulted a young woman walking home a couple of nights ago. Other locals have reciprocated my outrage and agree actions must be made. I've begun touching base with a local walk home group from the local university. My current plan A is to patrol/guard the only road pedestrians and vehicles can use to enter our end of town and offer an escort service for anyone desiring protection. I can't sit idly while the shadows creep onto my doorstep. Any thoughts regarding action or leadership would be greatly appreciated, constructive critiscism as well.", "summary": "A young woman was stabbed and sexually assaulted down the street from my house and my community will not accept this kind of violence."} {"id": "t3_3cyqk8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [26M] child's mother [24F] won't respond to my request/demand for public visits only", "post": "[OP](\n\nAfter all the advice I got from you all and my attorneys office I emailed the ex to state that I would require public visits until we have an independent supervisor in place mutually or appointed by the court. \n\nI sent the first email Thursday night, with a follow up this morning, and just made a call to her mobile which ended in voicemail. \n\nIf she fails to respond what should I do?\n\nHer expectation is that the visit tomorrow will be at her house. But obviously I am uncomfortable with that considering she called the police on me at my own home for a \"perceived\" threat which the police apparently found baseless since they didn't make a report and left.", "summary": "notified child's mother of only doing public visits after she called police on me, she won't respond. Visit tomorrow, she expects me to be at her house, what to do?"} {"id": "t3_3b9m7v", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I[30/f] messed up and snooped through his phone and now I am feeling like i cant' trust my new husband [31/M]", "post": "some background, im an ex-snooper. Aka after years of tormenting myself by always snooping through ex bfs phones and even current husbands, i finally \"quit\" cold turkey. I know this may sound dumb but it was almost an addiction for me.\nLast week I had a slipup after our honeymoon (idk why..things have been going great since being married about 1 month!) I stupidly looked through my husband's phone and saw he had made a work call to a female coworker we'd had issues over in the past. (he went and got a drink w/her and didnt mention it and i felt uncomfortable, even though it was just one beer before a meeting..which I found out through snooping.)\nToday i STUPIDLY checked and saw the call has since been removed. \nI know this is ridiculous, we just got married, etc but should I be worried? I'm curious to the men out there-are you likely to hide things to avoid conflict? He is very conflict adverse. Should I be worried? I know we are all allowed to have realtionships with coworkers etc, but seeing that it had been deleted makes me wonder if I should trust my gut..were there more calls, etc? \n\nI won't be snooping anymore, it just ruins my day and I cant admit it to communicate about my fears but am just wondering how sketchy this seems to an outsider prespective.", "summary": "new husband seems to be removing evidence from phone of calls from a co-worker who we had issues over in the past...should I be worried?"} {"id": "t3_2d77wk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [20 M] struggling to understand something and I'm feeling hopeless for future relationships.", "post": "I know this may come across as a stupid question,but I have noticed with most long term relationships there is often a period of time where they are broken up or take a break and then getting back together. Most people on r/relationships advocate not getting back together with exes as they are exes for a reason. So how are long term relationships supposed to work? How do people stay together for so long? I feel as though there is such a fine line to having a relationship that lasts a lifetime especially in today's society. I'm having doubts that I could have a successful relationship based on this train of thought. I'd really hate to think of relationships work this way. So, /r/relationships, how do long term relationships work.", "summary": "don't go back to ex + long term relationships most likely break up and get back together contradicting thoughts. How does it really work?"} {"id": "t3_32mdc7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Found out my(F16) best friend's(M16) mom (F45) is cheating on her husband via Instagram", "post": "A little background... I've been friends with this family since I was born and my best friend has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. My dad also grew up with his dad and are best friends.\n\nI was going through my Instagram feed and went through my discover page. I follow his mom on Instagram and she knows that I follow her because she also follows me. I noticed that she liked a picture of her and some 20 something year old guy kissing. I creeped his profile and found out that it's been going on for a while. I was at first in disbelief and didn't know what to do. I ended up telling him and now he knows and has completely separated himself from his mom. \n\nNow my question is, do I tell my family? We've known them forever, but is it really our business? I feel like if we go to their house it's gonna be awkward because I know about this, and we go there often.", "summary": "Been friends with this family for a long time, found out through Instagram that the mom has been cheating on her husband for a few months, do I tell my family because of our relationship with them?"} {"id": "t3_2e2koh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 F] with my bf [30 M] of five mths, I thinj he's cheating on me", "post": "We met on tinder. I didn't think i would be able to find somebody \"proper\" on that app and it was more of a joke when i first started it.\n\nI didn't physically meet anyone else other than him from that application and I quickly deleted it after we started our relationship.\n\nI knew he still had it on his phone but i just thought he was too lazy to get rid of it or something.\n\nHe said he was going to be gone for work for two weeks. He ignored most of my messages except when i asked him if he was coming back last week to which he said no not for another week.\nSo another week has passed and i thinj he's in town but he's MIA.\n\nI couldn't help but feel that he had changed and i felt something was off.\n\nI reinstalled tinder and i see that his profile has newly updated photos. Now i know that the application doesn't just automatically update the profile photos and you gotta select them.\n\nSo i think he's been cheating on me and he's nowhere to be seen.\n\nThis is killing me and i want to do something about it.\n\nI cried to sleep last night and i woke up early this morning because i just couldn't get the thought off my head.\n\nI don't know when i will see him again and i really want to confront him (i can't stand cheaters. He knows it and he had even told me that it's not my fault i met guys like that in the past.)\n\nI know at the latest i will see him by next week. But what should i do in the meanwhile? This is driving me nuts and I'm dying inside.", "summary": "i think my bf has been cheating on me and he's recently been very aloof. Will not be seeing him for probably another week. What can i do to not be so depressed and stop thinking about this?"} {"id": "t3_2rhz7w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my Gf [16 F] 3 year relationship, Long distance relationship + strong feelings gave me reason to end the relationship - is this justification for her hate?", "post": "Recently I had to move because I was going to a better school in a different area, but\nI still had an ongoing relationship. I told her that I didnt want to see our relationship\nslowly crumble because of the distance and that the least i could do for her was let her go so she'd be able to find someone else closer to home who could actually be there for her, not just through texts or calls. She won't talk to me anymore.\n\n(I understand we're both young and obviously it would be difficult for either one of us to be mature enough to deal with the situation)\nWas my decision correct in some way? Or was I just having a moment of weakness? Is this reason enough for her to hate me?", "summary": "! - broke up with gf because i live far away now and i wanted her to be able to date someone closer to home. Was i wrong/should she hate me?"} {"id": "t3_2byr1t", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "21M needs help!! 21F I've been talking to has gone AWOL on me", "post": "I've been talking to this amazing girl (21F) for about a month now- we've never met, a mutual friend gave me her number- and it's been going great. Neither one of us expected anything, and she admitted that she really didn't want to start anything until after she graduated, but after talking for a week or so, she was rethinking that plan. We talk almost non-stop, from the time we wake up until one of us falls asleep, rinse and repeat every day pretty much. She just took a huge test for her career last week and told me that she probably wouldn't be around that day and would just text me the next day. Skip a few days ahead and I still haven't heard from her- I figured maybe she needed a few extra days, but after multiple calls, texts, and voice-mails, still nothing. We had been talking about finally having a first date, we are definitely into each other and want to pursue something, but I don't know what to do. I can't just let her go, my heart is definitely set on this girl, she's incredible, and I just want to pick up where we left off. She doesn't have a facebook or anything, but I've thought about sending her sister a message which I've written and asking her to pass it along, but I don't want to come off as overbearing. Help reddit- what is the best thing to do?!", "summary": "talking to amazing girl, hitting it off, she stops all communication all of a sudden. what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3xrdcc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [F/25] boyfriend [M/24] would rather stay up and play video games instead of coming to bed. Together 2 years.", "post": "My boyfriend and I had an evening routine where we'd watch youtube videos or movies before bed. This was our time to cuddle and be intimate. I'd eventually fall asleep and he was free to stay up as late as he pleased. \n\nBefore moving in with his room mates, I asked him if our routine would change? I asked if I'd be going to bed alone now that he was living with his buddies, who he games with. He promised our routine would stay the same.\n\nHe's been living with his room mates for under a month now and in the 7 times I have slept there, we have gone to the bedroom together once. I brought it up, asking why I am finding myself in bed, alone, at his apartment and he said it is because he doesn't have the WiFi set up and we have nothing to watch. I figured that made some bit of sense and let it go. That was 2 weeks ago. They are all broke and the Internet won't be connected for a long time.\n\nOur sex life is dead. I am used to having sex 2-3 times a night. I can count on 3 fingers the amount of times we have had sex since the move. \n\nTonight, I said I was sleeping over only if he came to the bedroom at the same time. I said I was tired of going to bed alone. I feel lonely, especially since i am a guest and the whole point of me being there is to spend time with him. I reminded him of his promise and he replied with \"I never promised you that. I'll go to bed whenever I want. Sorry.\" \n\nI can't imagine continuing to have such a dead sex life. I can't imagine having no more \"we\" time. I don't know how to ask him to compromise. I don't want to attack his video games, but I feel like they're the priority over me. What do I do?", "summary": "boyfriend stays up late every time I'm at his place and our sex life is dying. I hate the disconnection it's creating. How do I approach this situation?"} {"id": "t3_3970cn", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "parenting etiquette?", "post": "So, I am a fairly new parent. My son is 10.5months. Anyway, I have a question about how others have would have reacted in a situation similar to an event that happened just a couple of hours ago. My spouse and I were at the children's museum with our son. At one point a young boy was bawling and did not see his parents. He was wandering near me and I asked if he was ok. He ran to me at this point and put his arms up to be picked up and comforted. This has never happened to me and my instinct was to pick up the boy and find his parents. That is what I did. Just as I picked him up and asked where his parents were, his father came rushing over. I eagerly handed him over and apologized to the father a couple times for picking up his son, even though the father did say \"thank you\" and that it wasn't a problem. In hindsight I think I should have just held his hand to help him find his parents, but the only kid who has ever cried to me with his arms outstretched is my son who I pick up without a second thought. So how would you have reacted? Thoughts on my reaction?\nAnd does it matter that I am a woman with many tattoos and piercings?", "summary": "picked up a stranger's crying child at children's museum in an instinctual reaction from the outstretched arms, promptly found and handed child over to his father. How would you have reacted?"} {"id": "t3_2tmr0n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23 F] friend [47 M/F] is in an unhealthy, maybe abusive relationship. How do I help her.", "post": "Background:\nI met my friend a year ago and we instantly clicked. She's had a troubled past, coming from an abusive home, and having been in two marriages with physically abusive men. When I met her she was recovering from her second divorce, finally living on her own with her three kids.\n\nI love her, she's quickly become a rock in my life, she's so helpful and caring. But she really, really has man issues.\n\nShe met her most recent man online. He comes from outside the country and has his own company. They got talking. He wanted to launch his product in our country, and they met up while he was here on a business trip. She insisted it was all casual. Then he offered her a job. She was out of work and money was very tight. She also seemed happy he thought she was capable. She did not get a contract but started working anyway. He then moved in with her, and so did the company inventory. From then on it got worse and worse. He yells at her and her kids. He does absolutely no work, but gets angry whenever he thinks she does not do enough. He gets angry whenever she comes to see me, he dislikes me and blames me whenever she talks back to him, saying I put ideas into her head. He pays her absolutely no money, whatever money he has goes to gambling.\n\nI'm so concerned for her. She often sits here bawling her eyes out because he picked another fight. I try to gently tell her this is not healthy. She's often said she's going to kick him out or do something about it, but then the next day she tells me they worked it out and they are making progress. And then a few days later the cycle starts again.\n\nThis shit is tearing me apart. I don't know how to help. As I said I try to gently tell her this is not good, but when I push it too much she gets kind of defensive. I just don't know how she can possibly not see what I'm seeing...", "summary": "My friend is in an unhealthy relationship. She keeps saying she will kick him out but it never happens. How do I support her the best I can."} {"id": "t3_2widwt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 F] with my BF [28 M] 1.5 years, he's a Twitter troll", "post": "I wish the title was self explanatory but if it were that easy I wouldn't be posting...\n\nThis is a serious relationship for both of us and honestly if I were ready to get married right now he would propose in a heartbeat. \n\nOne major problem that I realized is that he is a troll on Twitter. He will pick fights with strangers and say some truly awful things like calling women \"pigs\" or gay slurs like f*g. I am really mortified just writing it and until recently I kept it secret because I didn't want people I know to judge him or me for it.\n\nI absolutely confronted him a year and a half ago and told him it was disgusting and assured me it was jokes but admitted some of the language was wrong. He admits that he shoots off at the mouth but really it's Twitter... you type something out and push send.\n\nTo his credit he has gotten a lot better. It used to be a regular offense but he has gotten his act together. Last month he deleted his Twitter altogether... I was happy because I've never asked him to delete it (it's not Twitter's fault that he can't be civil on the internet... I pointed out it's something deeper but he brushes it off). I never thought of his Twitter after he deleted it but yesterday the link was in my history and I accidently double clicked on it and, what do you know, he's been posting for the last month. \n\nHe told me when he deleted it but he didn't tell me when he started up again and - yep- there he is up to the same troll-y bullshit.\n\nThing is........... he's a wonderful boyfriend to me and my family. My parents love him and he would do anything I asked him to, he would be there for me forever, and I believe that he really loves me.\n\nI guess I just wanted some input... like if love is accepting someone for who they are and overlooking flaws like this since we are all imperfect. It just seems unrealistic that I would end a serious relationship because \"you're a troll\"... but it does hit something deeper in my core. I'm also sick of nagging him.", "summary": "Boyfriend is very loving to me and my family... is also a troll on Twitter and says some disgusting things to other people that are disturbing."} {"id": "t3_1ajxis", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (19m) need to figure out if my (18f) girlfriend is commited to a long term with my 'baggage'.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for three of the best years. We've never had a fight that has resulted in anything (i.e. where we couldn't sit down and talk about what's bothering us and either get things worked out or agree to disagree). Basically what I feel is a really healthy relationship. \n\nWe've always joked about being old and 'yelling at dumb kids' together, doing crazy things together when we're old, but never talked about getting married or anything of the serious things. However, over the last 4 or 5 months or so, she has been talking somewhat more seriously about the topic, to which I've obliged. \n\nHere comes my problem. I recently took a management job in a field I've been involved with for a long time. This field that I'm in gives me the opportunity to (easily within the next 8-10 years) have a 6+figure income, along with many many other benefits associated with the job. However...the lifestyle is a bit demanding. I can't get into too many details regarding it because it's somewhat on the secretive side, but I can relate it to the life of a rockstar. Basically even though I'm the only one actually 'involved' it requires commitment from spouse/family. \n\nMy fears come from how my girlfriend, while supportive of myself in this lifestyle, hasn't ever shown much involvement/desire for it. She has asked lots of questions and came along with me multiple times...but I've never seen the desire to be involved. And then when I gather myself enough to try and ask her I think of how young we both are, and I don't want to 'trap' her without letting her spread her own wings. She is only my second girlfriend and I'm her first 'serious' boyfriend. \n\nAll in all, my question is: How can I ask her if she's willing to commit to learning/being involved in my work environment, one that could easily support a family within the decade, without pushing her out of my life?", "summary": "I (19M) need to ask my girlfriend (18F) of three years if she is willing to commit to being involved in my lifestyle without ticking her off and getting dumped."} {"id": "t3_3g2lbr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [m23] delete my ex [23f] from my life?", "post": "So she was the first girlfriend I ever had. I didn't start dating until I was 21 but didn't get a girlfriend until I was 23. She had relationships before. We were together for 6months. She said she doesn't love me in that way anymore but she still loves me as a friend. So I'm trying to be her friend, but every time I try to talk to her she sounds like she doesn't want to talk to me. She always end the conversation like not even 10 minutes in. I feel like she doesn't care if I'm In here life anymore or not. It's just that I've never NEVER clicked with a person (man or woman) like her so I still want her as my friend but she's making it very hard. The rejection of not wanting to be in a relationship with me hurts, the fact she deleted everything off her instagram and Facebook that had to do with me hurts but I can handle that. It's that she said she still wants me in her life and then acts like she doesn't is what I can't take. What should I do? Should I tell her that? Should I just delete her from my life altogether? Help me Reddit.", "summary": "gf and me broke up, says still wants to be friends, doesn't act like it, should I drop her from my life?"} {"id": "t3_35v498", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "(Ohio) A waitress at a restaurant wrote in a tip after I signed the credit card receipt.", "post": "Hi guys, I was hoping you could give me a little advice here. \n\nI went to a restaurant with a big group and paid for the party. We got a room with food and I paid for all of that with my credit card. They added a 20% \"service charge\" so I didn't tip anymore on top of that. I signed the credit card receipt and we moved to the bar to drink a little. I covered the cost for drinks for my sister as the party was for her. I paid with the same card, but on a different transaction and a different receipt. I took my copies and signed the restaurant's copies and thought that was the end of it. Well I just received the credit card statement for this month and the charges were on there, but there was an extra fifty dollars added on to the party bill and an extra 3 added to the drinks. I contacted the restaurant and they sent me a copy of the receipt that I signed and it was clearly not my handwriting. I emailed the copy that I kept in which there was no tip and what the total should be, in my handwriting that is clearly different. I'm waiting to hear from the General Manager of the restaurant, but I wanted to get as much info as I could before then. If they don't refund me, I'm going to dispute the charge, but as I said, I want all the info I can get here. \n\nThank you for reading!", "summary": "Waitress gave herself an extra $50 tip after I signed for my credit card. What do I need to know?"} {"id": "t3_53woyy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27F] pregnant with my boyfriend's [27M] baby. Cannot afford the baby, but terrified of abortion due to PCOS. What if I can never conceive again?", "post": "As the title suggests, I found out today I am pregnant (not planned) with my boyfriend's baby. I told him immediately, and he offered his support regardless of my decision. From a financial point of view, I know the answer but emotionally I am a mess. \n\nA bit of background. I suffer from PCOS, and have worked hard in the last two years to better my condition as much as possible through diet and exercise. I am currently attending graduate school, which is very stressful and pays very little. My boyfriend, \"Leo\" works full time and is doing his undergrad, both of which are very stressful situations for him. Money wise, the two of us are ok, but no way could we afford a baby in this situation.\n\nWe briefly discussed that the best option is to terminate and while I know that to be the best course, I am so afraid of the consequences. One of my life dreams is to be a mother, and I thought maybe I never would be (naturally) due to my condition. Now that it has happened, I am floored. Because we are thinking of terminating, I can't talk to anyone about this so I am using this space to just vent and get my thoughts out there. \n\nHas anyone here experienced PCOS, got pregnant and terminated, and went on to have another pregnancy to term? I should note I do not know how long I am, (took the hCG test, found out today) and will be meeting with my doctor to find out more details. Is there anything I should bring up to her? I am sorry if this isn't the right place for this.", "summary": "Pregnant, suffer from PCOS and afraid to terminate though it is the best financial decision. I just need some advice, life experiences, anything. Thank you."} {"id": "t3_4m8xcb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My husband [33M] and I [27F] Have been married 6 years. We have been back and forth on something the entire time and I just need to know if I am being reasonable for my own peace of mind.", "post": "Thank you all in advance for any advice. My husband and I have had this ongoing argument and while he has agreed to my terms, I want to know if I am being overly controlling on the matter. \n\nA few years ago my husband received nudes of a close friend of his against my wishes. I was furious. He has not reciprocated on this. The argument stems from the fact that I don't want him looking at women he knows personally naked. I don't mind him looking at porn and there is plenty of nakedness available online. \n\nHe thinks this is too controlling and thus broke this rule behind my back when this happened with said friend. His argument is that the masturbation is better if he knows the girl. My argument is that as his wife, I should have complete control over the sexual aspect of his life as he should with mine as my husband. (I don't mind him taking care of himself or looking at porn, it is not an issue in our relationship and it keeps us sexually healthy.)\n\nThere is nothing currently going on with his female friends and such, he has refrained at my wishes. I just want to know, am I being unreasonable?", "summary": "Is it reasonable for a wife to request that her husband not see the women he knows naked (strangers/porn not in person is okay)? Or is this overly controlling behavior?"} {"id": "t3_3tu73j", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by discussing the new Hunger Games movie with my family", "post": "Movie spoilers alert\n\nI watched the Hunger Games movie last night.\nSoo.. earlier today, I was having breakfast with my sister and my mom. I was talking to my sister about how I was disappointed with the movie's ending. She hasn't watched the movie so I was explaining everything that happened. How Katniss fought so hard in the revolution, how she killed the president, and how after all she did, she just went off to leave in a meadow with Peeta. I think this were my words: \n\n\"After all she did, she just became a stay-at-home mom, I thought she'd be someone important.\"\n\nMy mom laughed awkwardly and I instantly thought: \"shit\". Because that's what my mom is, she's a stay-at-home mom, and a couple years ago she told me how sometimes she would've liked to have a job and do something more with her life. I felt like I said those words to her, and now I feel like shit.\n\nIf you guys have any ideas on what I can do/say to make her feel a bit better, that'd be great.", "summary": "Talked about the new Hunger Games movie with my mom while having breakfast. Ended up making her feel bad accidentally. I feel like shit."} {"id": "t3_12j8w0", "subreddit": "self", "title": "I just need to vent. Bullying will not be stopped. Ever. We need to take a different approach to this than 'STOP BULLYING'...", "post": "I just need to vent. \n\nWhy can't the world realize. You can NOT stop bullying. You CAN however, teach your children and those around you not to take everything so seriously and to the heart.\n\nI am SO sick of everyone losing their shit\u2026 over the slightest joke made AT another person, instead of for them. **I got in shit for work for posting a pic of a honey boo boo comparison. They said I was a bully.** \n\n**Bullies are not going to stop bullying. Not now, not ever.** I don't mean bullies can't reform, I'm just saying there will always be a new generation of bullies to pick up the slack.\n\nKids don't realize how harsh they're being\u2026 but no matter how well they're raised\u2026 peer pressure will always make them crack\u2026 at least once\u2026 \n\nI was bullied in public school/ high school. I cried myself to sleep lots of nights. I'm not seeking pity here.. I'm just saying-I'm sure 90% of people were also bullied in a life changing way.. \n\nBut what my parents taught me.. is 'Don't listen to other people, be better than them, and you will come out as a better person'. .. Tough it out.. you'll be ok. \n\nThey didn't baby me and say oh you poor girl here let's go talk to your teachers and get them suspended and have it result in even more bullying for you.\n\nI know social media makes it worse than when I was a kid.. But I think kids will handle bullying better if they're taught that in 5 years from now.. your public bitchfest on facebook is going to look PRETTY lame.. to everyone.. probably even your current group of friends.", "summary": "I think the parents/teachers/role models need to cool it on the 'stop bullying' campaign... And seriously consider an action plan for a 'self confidence' and 'how to properly.. and responsibly use social media' campaign"} {"id": "t3_39u1bo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description", "post": "Hey everyone!\n\nI broke up with my ex approximately one month ago, some 2/3 weeks after I told her I didn\u00b4t feel the same for her anymore. I know she loved me, but we were constantly fighting, and after 3 months together, I felt we were to incompatible.\n\nThe decision to move on was unanimous, but even knowing we weren\u00b4t compatible, not meant to be together and all that, I still had the strongest attachment to her, we were great together, very supportive to eachother, caring and with great chemistry.\n\nI\u00b4ve been loyal to the No Contact rule since then, and I usually feel great or absolutely ok and moving on, but knowing about her, having a friend saying he talked to her, knowing that she will be in a particular place in a particular time, I don\u00b4t know, she seems to be my fuc*ing kryptonite, I feel sad when something like that happens, and I feel like she\u00b4s my weakness.\nBecause overall I feel ok, I\u00b4ve been busy, going out with friends, studying, going to kickboxing, planning my vacations, etc, and as soon as I feel great about myself, the simple knowledge that she talked to a friend of mine, or that she went to a party, or that she is moving on, can really put me down.\n\nEven doing the best for me and even knowing that I feel well most of the times, it seems it\u00b4s being hard to really move on. Getting to that state of not giving a fuc* about her or about what she\u00b4s doing seems to be a far thing.\n\nSorry for the long post!! Would be grateful to hear similar stories, and how did you overcame the whole thing.", "summary": "One month after breaking up, I feel well and moving on, but knowing about my ex can really put me down again"} {"id": "t3_27bn39", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My wife [24F] of 8 yrs recently divorced me [26 M] to date her coworker. We wants to remain friends, but it's torture for me.", "post": "We were together for almost 9 years, married for 4 months.\n\nWe were high school sweethearts. Both us never dated before we met each other at the ages of 18 (me) and 16 (her). Things were grand for 3-4 years. Life was extremely financially difficult, but we were still very much in love. Then I I began drinking in secret. Eventually I did the unspeakable and physically assaulted her on two separate occasions while black-out drunk. She left one month after the 2nd incident to begin a serious relationship with one of her coworkers that she had been emotionally cheating with.\n\nMy ex-wife wants to remain friends, as do I - 8 years is a huge investment, and we still connect on many levels that we've not found in anyone else. It has a brother-sister dynamic now. But I still love her, and this is compounded by my \"reawakening\" upon quitting alcohol: I finally appreciate her as she deserves. Yet it's much too late, and all her attention has been realigned with her coworker.\n\nShe still cares for me deeply, and recognizes me for who I am sober, but will never romantically involve herself with me again - I represent too much pain and loss. She has forgiven me for what happened: I don't know that I ever can. She wants to be lifelong friends, but it's torture for me: I am obsessing over her and her personality, what she's doing, how things would have been different had I admitted my addiction, our past...", "summary": "My HS sweetheart left me for another man after my drinking caused physical abuse. We want to remain friends, but it's causing me emotional turmoil and obsession. I don't want to lose my best friend."} {"id": "t3_1cg03i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Thinking about engagement but she [24f] and I [25m] live ~450km apart and will for the next 3 years.", "post": "We've been together for a little over 4 years. I know I'll end up with her, been seriously thinking about engagement for a while and she'll definitely say yes. \n\nAfter dating for 2 years, we lived together for a year. But I got into med school in a different city (about 450km away). Started in September. She has a great job that she can't leave - it's exactly in her field, she can't do it where I live. We see each other every other weekend, over the holidays, and I'll be living with her over the summer.\n\nAs a relationship, long distance has been working well for us. We are very committed and while being a med student is hectic, we speak at least twice a day. I want to get engaged, but I'm concerned this might cause emotional difficulty (not being able to be with one's fiance) and would create a looming problem of either getting married while still being long-distance (I still have 3 more years of school) or being engaged for 3 years before getting married - both of which seem like bad options.\n\nShe's the one, for sure. For sure, for sure. And once I finish school I can move back to where she lives. I want to get the timing right in a way that works for both of us.", "summary": "Know I'll end up with her. Want to get engaged but not sure because we're long distance and will be for the next 3 years."} {"id": "t3_3jq0br", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[27/f] Why have I been cut off by my close friend [28/f]?", "post": "So, here's the story. I have many friends who I may catch up with weekly, monthly, sometimes even yearly. We all live in different areas and that's fine. However, a few weeks ago I noticed one of my closest friends had un-friended me on Facebook. I thought it must have been a mistake, as she was still friends with many of our mutual friends and hadn't had a \"culling\". Plus, last time I spoke to her we were on good terms. So I re-added her, and sent a text message. No reply. Then I notice that \"request sent\" had changed back to \"add friend\" again, so clearly my request was deleted. I've sent another message but still no reply. I asked a mutual friend and they had no idea what was going on.\n\nThe thing is, this friend is one of the kindest people I know and it's very out of character for her to cut someone off. She regularly wants to catch up and see how things are going. She's even vented to me in the past about friendships falling apart when she's not sure why. So to cut me off without any reason seems very odd. She's never done it to anyone before as far as I know, and I've known her for years.\n\nI just want some advice on why she might have done this? The last time we talked (granted it was months ago) there was nothing wrong. Now, she won't even respond to me. It seems pretty extreme. I tend to dwell on things like this and worry about what I've done and it's doing my head in. Is there any way I can fix this, or should I just let it go?\n\nThanks for any advice, I'm really confused and sad about this.", "summary": "My close friend suddenly cut me off, with no reason nor response. What have I done? Can I save the friendship?"} {"id": "t3_l1hh5", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Long term girlfriend back-stabbed me and I cut ties tonight.", "post": "We dated for most of high school. Made it through our first year of college, but she found someone else. She still talked to me after that. She hooked up with my a bunch over that summer and never told him, which I felt bad for. She finally told him and he blamed me, not her. They're still together. She now says its my fault. I feel like I've been betrayed. Hard. I never had this problem, and I feel like a sucker for having to resort to reddit for help. \n\nI really don't need to drink myself to death. Alcohol and I have had rough encounters before. I really don't want to fall back into that. What the hell am I suppose to do?", "summary": "My gf hooked up with me while dating someone else and said it was my fault for allowing her to do so. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1qrlzf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend sped up this relationship so fast, and now after 3 months, he's acting like we've been dating for 3 years.", "post": "My boyfriend (25/m) started our relationship with an extremely hot pursuit. I am 24/f. He was suggesting vacations and future stuff before he even asked me to be his girlfriend. He would contact me quite a lot, want to see me all the time, and do all sorts of romantic stuff for me. 1.5 months in, and he said the \"L\" word. After 2 months he talked about getting engaged in a couple of years. I tried to tell him to relax and slow it down, but he didn't quite get it. Basically, I know that he's most likely \"the one\" but I thought we could you know...pace it, since it's only been a few months.\n\nOn my birthday about a month ago, I told him I loved him. And for a week or so, things were great. Well, he's still moving fast. Except now, he texts me less and has grown kind of complacent (isn't as romantic, etc.) He always told me in the past that he prided himself on always wanting to treat a girl amazingly. Last weekend, we were supposed to go see a concert I had been looking forward to for months. That morning, he woke up really sick (we were in bed together), and we couldn't go. He had a sinus infection, and it wasn't catching, so I asked if I could stay with him and take care of him. He made me leave (he had driven me to his place, so I had to ask a friend to come pick me up).\n\nI know that he's not ready to break up with me, but he is acting like we've been dating for years. What will it be like then in 6 months or a year from now? I talked to him about it and he said he's gotten complacent and \"this is reality now\"\n\nI feel like it's unfair, because he's been setting the pace the whole time in this relationship. Is there anything I can do? Has anyone heard of this happening?", "summary": "Boyfriend moved the relationship so fast, that the courtship was a blur and now he's acting like we've been dating for years after only 3 months."} {"id": "t3_4jq2w8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25M] SO [26F] is driving me absolutely nuts.", "post": "My SO of 1.5 years, has been driving me up the wall for along time now.\n\nShe complains, or moans or is unhappy about absolutely everything all the time and its sucking the life from me. \n\nThis dog needs eyedrops twice a day at the moment. I gave the dog eyedrops then I said \"and she'll get another one later on\" \"No\" she sharply replied, \"once I come home she will\". So the answer was yes, but seems like the answer was no because I said it. And things like this happen all the time. \"Just round the corner isn't it?\" Will be met with a sharp \"No, just down the road\" \n\nIt is if I need to be absolutely precise with any generalisation I make or I'll be snapped at. \n\nShe is very dominant and I'm reluctant to move in because of this. Moving in together is something thats been on the cards but her house is very much 'her' house. Everything is where she wants it to be, everything is done how she wants it to be. \n\nIf I do something helpful without asking about it she will get annoyed about some small insignificant detail about what I've done.\n\nI always worried to ask her how she wants things done because she will become exasperated about it and talk to me like I'm am idiot. I only want to do it the way she wants it done so she didn't get annoyed. However it didn't matter, if I don't ask, she gets annoyed, if I ask,she gets annoyed and there seems to be no way to get through it. \n\nShe loves her dog more than anything, she loves me but when I'm around I feel like I'm just there just because I'm meant to be. I'm bored and unhappy. I don't know how to try and address and improve the situation without her getting annoyed at me.\n\nI've said in the past that I am afraid to ask about things because she gets annoyed and she told me that I don't get afraid and that was kind of the end of that.", "summary": "gf moans, complains and is never happy with me. I don't know how to deal with my unhappiness."} {"id": "t3_2shrsi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [26M] break up with my girlfriend [28F] of one year and minimize the impact on her?", "post": "I have been dating my girlfriend for just over a year. The relationship has been more than great. It is the best relationship I have ever been in. She is caring, loving, respectful and loyal. There isn't a thing she wouldn't do for me. Unfortunately I have issues.\n\nLately, I have been thinking about the commitment. I don't think I'm ready to be committed to someone at this stage in my life. I need a few years to get certain things out of my system. Like sleeping around, meeting and dating more people. I know this sounds terrible, but I can't be dishonest with my girlfriend. When I go out with my guy friends, all I want to do is talk to women and hook up with them. I have not cheated on my girlfriend at all, but I am concerned that eventually I may slip. She deserves better than this.\n\nHow do I go about this without totally crushing her heart? I am so upset and hurt even thinking about breaking up with her. I'm the verge of crying as I'm typing this. She has been so wonderful to me, yet I am the asshole that wants to break up.", "summary": "I'm not ready to be committed to my amazing girlfriend at this point in my life. I don't know how to tell her this without crushing her heart."} {"id": "t3_enwdc", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "I am professional in to many fields, I guess. How should I promote myself?", "post": "Hi Reddit, I can do many different things and love to do so. I feel companies are looking for specialists rather then generalists. How should I promote myself.\n\n* I did studio works for about 8 years, I'm good in recording, mixing and mastering audio. Some of my work went top 50 in the country I live in and other european countries. Though I never made a lot money with it.\n\n* I worked as a lighting technician for an international entertainment show for about 2 years beeing traveling with the show all over europe (each tour about 6 month - so 6 month touring - 6 month other jobs). I also did light in theatres and for small tv-productions.\n\n* For my music projects in many cases I would also do the promotion, so I am also pretty okay in graphic design and web stuff. I'm not bad in doing advertisements, posters, flyers etc...\n\n* I've been a host for various live shows and I am pretty good in that - yes I love to be on stage ;)\n\n* I lead international teams of about 10 people. Advised them technically but also made schedules etc.\n\n* I planned/supervised lighting and powersupplies for a whole conference, in 3 different locations, providing light that works both for the audience and HD broadcasting. At the conference there also was a TV show and parties - I did the light for.\n\nMy problem is: I really love all of those fields. I often get bored, if I just do one thing for more than 2 years. I am currently back at a media university to finally get a degree in the stuff I do anyway. \n\nBut when I apply somewhere it always seems like wether the potential employer doesn't believe I am able to do all that - or doesn't have a need for somebody like me.\n\nI worked as a freelancer for quite a while, but all the tax/paperwork is something I really hate. Plus advertising for my self as a \"jack of all trades\" seems hard. Especially the fields I love to work in are both technically and creative.", "summary": "I love to work in many different fields: sound, recording, light, advertismens, webstuff, technical stuff. It's hard to find anybody who has a use for my strengths."} {"id": "t3_48jsg7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my girl I'm interested in [24 F] not sure if I should cut my losses and move on", "post": "edit: the girl, not my*\n\nSo I've recently started heading out into the dating world again after spending what seemed like eternity getting over my ex. I've been talking to this new girl off and on for the past couple of months, snapchat on the regular, etc. \n\nI finally work up the cajones to tell it to her straight, \"look I like you and I'd love to take you out on a date when I'm back in town.\" She responds wth \"LOL you crazy. We can always hang out.\" I basically tell her that I'm not fucking around here and that I am interested in taking her out on actual date. That's where I'm sitting at now and I'm not even sure how to and if i should follow up.\n\nWe've talked about dating in general and she off-handedly mentioned to me one time that she always wanted to know what it was like to be chased instead of always being the chaser. 9 out of 10 times I wouldn't have the patience to be playing these games where I get vague answers like the one she provided, but I actually really like this girl. I basically have no relationship experience outside of my ex since we were together for so long, so I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing right now.", "summary": "asked girl out on date, she replies with a vague no? not sure if she's playing hard to get or just plain disinterested"} {"id": "t3_22j78d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my GF [25 F] of 11 months, lied about sexual history, didnt tell me her EX was diagnosed with herpes... I'm not angry?", "post": "Me and my GF have been going out for around 11 months. When we first got together i asked her how many partners she had in the last year. She said 1, her ex. We then had sex without a condom based on this information. She got tested a month later and had chlamydia. I never tested positive. She told me her EX must have cheated.\n\n9 months later I snooped on her and connected dots to figure out that she had another \"fling\" while things with her old BF were fizzling. Completely understandable, however she hid this from me because she thought i would \"think less of her\". This is where she got the chlamydia. I'm of the mindset that your past doesn't matter - what matters to me is that i made a decision based on a small set of information and was lied to.\n\nWhile i was snooping i also found a text from her EX (from ~2 weeks earlier; so 10 months after they broke up) telling her that he had herpes but has since had other girls she he was letting her know and possibly blaming her - she didn't even think to tell me and she didn't even think to get tested. I was pretty upset by this and made her get tested, her test is today.\n\nAnyway - I cant help but think that i should break up with her over these two things. However, i'm honestly not \"mad\" at her. I just feel like the trust has be set back a fair bit. Is my reaction wrong/irrational? I really do love this girl, but shes also my first major relationship so I may have \"first love\" syndrome or some shit. Just looking for unbiased opinions.", "summary": "GF lied about a partner between me and her ex. Didnt tell me her ex was diagnosed with herpes after they broke up. I'm not angry, but feel that the trust is lacking on my end. What do?"} {"id": "t3_13dmr1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19M] really like her [19F] but both of us are afraid of commitment.", "post": "Hi, \nso here's the situation: \n\nI (19M) just started studying abroad and I met this girl (19F)... We seemed to get along together very well, though we're both somewhat socially awkward around other people. \nWe started cuddling and kissing three weeks ago. (We're both still virgins so we agreed not to have sex in the near future and I'm really glad we did. It takes a lot of pressure off.) \nThe problem is that we'll go on Christmas break for 6 weeks in two weeks time and there's no chance we're going to see each other during that period. \n\nWhat are we going to do? Neither of us is experienced when it comes to relationships and we are still in a \"wait and see\" mode because both of us are afraid of commitment and we only have been knowing each other for two months.\nShe said she's not really comfortable with this situation - cuddling but not \"really\" being with someone. \nShe always asks \"What do you want?\" and I never know how to respond. I think I want to be in a proper relationship with her. But I'm not entirely convinced. It might be too early. I might enjoy \"just\" the cuddling. I might not be ready for a relationship (though I don't know if I'll ever be.) \n\nSo what should we do in the next two weeks? Should I tell her I want a relationship? Or should we wait and see what happens when we see each other again after christmas? Any advice is muchly appreciated :)\n\nI'll be back in ~6 hours and I'll reply to every comment.", "summary": "Unsure what I should do with the girl I've been cuddling with. Cristmas Break coming up and we won't see each other."} {"id": "t3_210f8x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (30+f) and bf (30+m) together 2yr 3m. Lease is up in june want to end relationship but extremely codependent.", "post": "Im in a db situation (sex 1x amonth and its lame) ive talked to him many time and his efforts are null. He sold me a dream of a future that I feel was all part of his game. I want to end it.\n\nIm gonna jump to the last straw. This week he had a business trip. He rarely grooms his pubes but 2 days before he naired. We hardly have sex and the only time he groomed was the beginning of our relationship. He only responds to my texts. Isnt asking about my day and didnt call me last night. I get hes busy at the convention but I also feel him nairing was opening for opportunities. what would you think? I cant go on with having suspicions. I cant go on even having no proof of cheating. The lack of sex between us and his broken promises have depleted my self esteem. No man may ever want me and while that does scare me I cant keep making myself crazy. I need words of encouragement.", "summary": "bf randomly nairs for a business trip. We are in a deadbedroom (sex about 1x a month) What would you think?"} {"id": "t3_48mrof", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I [18M] probably won't be able to go to prom with my girlfriend [18F] and I'm worried", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost two months now. She's a senior in high school and I'm a freshman in college. We had known each other in high school but started over the Christmas break. Our relationship is wonderful: We are perfect for each other. This problem arose just yesterday. We had talked about going to her senior prom a week before. My own senior prom last year was shit but that's another story. So I was really looking forward to going to hers (the school's cut-off age for the prom is 21 and I'll be 19 this April so I'd be good to go). She tells me the prom will be on Saturday, May 7th, and to let her know as soon as possible if I can go. I told her all my final exams would be done before then and that I'd most likely be able to go, but I'd let her know otherwise. Well late last night my economics professor posted the date of his final. And, it's on May 7th. Could the timing have not been better?\n\nSo, to summarize, I really want to go to prom with my girlfriend but I'll have a final that same day (my other finals are essays and those will be finished in late April). I was thinking I could ask if I could take the final earlier, because I'll have nothing better to do that whole week. But he'd ask for a reason why, and I don't think \"prom\" will cut it for him. I could just let my girlfriend go with.....someone else, but of course I'd really not prefer that. What's the best course of action to take here?", "summary": "Prom is same day as final exam, feel bad about asking to move exam, feel bad about telling girlfriend I can't go, feeling stuck"} {"id": "t3_39sfqr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (F15) befriended the man (M39) who is my bio dad but he doesn't know he's my dad, how can I tell him?", "post": "Ok I will try to make the long story short. My friends and I volunteered to work a fundraiser for his restaurant two weeks ago that his wife organized. We did a very good job and he offered to hire us if we ever need a part time job and if we ever move to live near his restaurant.\n\nI posted this once before\n\nI became friends with his wife first because she was organizing the whole event. But now we are welcome at the restaurant all the time and they just don't charge us even if we offer to pay. They have 3 kids and one of them is only her bio son from another man, the two little ones are his kids. I text with her often now. Me and my friend are going to get free piano lessons from him starting on next saturday. I feel like we are becoming part of their family. They really like us.\n\nHe is the most amazing man you can ever meet. He likes everything I like and he is nice to everybody. He really loves raising money for kids and they even have cops come to their restaurant all the time to become waiters for a day and the money goes to buying school supplies for poor kids. Everybody seems to love him and his wife. She even invited me and my friends to a day at the beach. \n\nThings are just moving fast. They really like us because we volunteered for three days to work for free to raise money. But now I'm feeling very anxious about telling him that he's my dad. I really don't want him to hate me. This would really crush me and I'm really scared of this happening. I know that a dna test would have to be done but we look too much alike. His wife even says we have the same eyes and not even his two sons have his eyes.", "summary": "I am friends with my real dad but he doesn't know he is. I'm scared and confused how to tell him"} {"id": "t3_2xj349", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my [18 F] of 14 months, she just told me she's been faking literally every orgasm. ever.", "post": "Hi /r/relationships, this is a throwaway account. \nEverything between this girl and I have been pretty solid. We get along pretty well, and rarely have major disagreements. We agree on most political/religious issues. \nLast night, after we had dinner, she told me that she couldn't handle lying to my anymore. I had expected something a lot less serious, but that's when she hit me with the fact. \"Every orgasm you think you've given me has been fake.\" \n\nShe then went on to describe how, as a little kid, whenever she tried to hold in her pee, she'd squeeze her legs with her hand between her legs or something to get off. Ever since then, she told me that that's the only way she's ever been able to climax. In fact, she says that it only takes her several minutes to reach orgasm with this method, and that she can do it even without taking her underwear off. \n\nI felt really betrayed when I heard this, particularly about two things. Firstly, before this confession, she had told me that she had never masturbated before. Secondly, EVERY SINGLE INSTANCE WAS FAKE! I mean she even faked the vaginal contractions and the fluids coming out. \n\nWhen I asked her why she did it, she claimed that she didn't want to make me feel bad, and that \"it wasn't like you were going to give me an orgasm anyways, so I faked it.\" \n\nRather than saying something stupid and regretting it, I told her that I don't blame her or her situation, and that I needed some time to cool off. So, what the hell do I do now?", "summary": "GF of 14 months has faked every orgasm ever, because she can only climax by putting pressure on her clit. Prior to this event, I never even knew she did it."} {"id": "t3_13c499", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Stupid teenage relationships :'(", "post": "Hio,\n \n\n(had to edit because reddit didnt like that I assumed people were smart) \n\nTo start things off, I met this girl when I was 16, I loved her and she loved me etc, young relationships.... things went great... got into a few arguments as to be expected from a first relationship (yeye i started old). We had a great relationship and she was very forming to me as a boy learning about who he was at the time.\n\nWe broke up when I was 18 (bot told me to tell you guys 2 years, sorry for assuming you guys can do maths), just before beginning college, reason being on my part due to her going away to another part of the country where we would be far apart, I knew we didn't handle long relationships all that well and I decided that it was best to cut things off so that she could excel at college (in part due to the points she got to registering for the college she wanted weren't good enough in part due to our relationship I assume).\n\nThe question I pose .... I'm 24 now, have had a few relationships in the meantime but I've always had feelings for her, I'm not sure if its the irrational teenager still talking within me saying that I like her or its the (supposed) adult that I am now having feelings for her.\n\nShese a rad person, I couldnt fault her for a second, but could it be jaded by my teenage self?\n\nI guess what I'm asking is, are the feelings I'm having now are remnants from what I've had for her when I was a teenager or are they genuine?\n\nI don't regret breaking up with her, I think its one of the best decisions I've ever made because she seems to be happy now and it's just been getting me down lately because I've been afraid to go into new relationships until I've confronted/rationalized my feelings for what I have for this person.", "summary": "Got into a 2 year relationshop as a 16 year old, am 24 now and have been emo for past year + about it."} {"id": "t3_3raek5", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by using the handicap restroom stall. (NSFW)", "post": "When I use the restroom at my school, I make sure it is the best experience I can possibly get out of it. You see, my philosophy is, if you're gonna use the restroom in public, make it so it feels like you're at home. So I'm at my school library, as we speak, and just a little while ago I had to use it pretty bad. I walked into the restroom and stood there at my vast amount of available stalls. During that time, no one was in there but me, so I thought to myself, \"If I choose the one closes to the door, people can see me through the stalls slit as they walk in and smell the aroma I would give off, and also hear the bass I would be dropping. If I went to middle stalls, they're more then likely dirty.\" So I thought, the handicap stall!! Today, I'm going use the restroom like a king. With no respect for my fellow handicap colleague, I swung that stall door open, slid my jeans and underwear off. (I'm a brief type of guy!) I went full commando. The nice breeze from the ventilation was heavenly. As I comfortable sat down. I began to what only one can call, the moment of relief. At that moment, I heard the restroom door open. What seems to be only none other then a sound of a wheel chair rolling through. I froze. Embarrassment swallowed me whole. The sound grew louder and it came closer. A struggle ensued, as the gentlemen wrestled trying to get the stall open, his eyes lined up with the stall slit. I knew, he knew, that I knew, I was not handicap. I felt ashamed. I also felt violated. I couldn't yell, I couldn't even speak up to tell him to stop staring or, \"can I help you sir?\" We locked eyes, and perhaps he even saw me for what I am worth. He left moments later. I sat there hopeless, scared, humiliated. I no longer needed to use the restroom. I wiped, rose up, gather myself, and returned to my little cubicle to continue studying,... I can help but to feel my innocence is lost.", "summary": "I used the handicap stall. Took my jeans and underwear off. Dude in a wheelchair caught me in handicap stall. The end."} {"id": "t3_19r23y", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Seeking advice on taking action against a desision made by Kaiser", "post": "I will try to keep this concise and provide any information that may be needed.\n\nA dear friend of my wife went into cardiac arrest triggered by a blood clot about a month ago. The facilities that took her in decided to put her into a medically induced coma (sorry for having potentially incorrect terminology).\n\nThe doctors said there was basically no chance of her making it out of the coma, and if she managed to pull out would basically be a vegetable. In the weeks following the incident shes made the following milestones:\n\n* Waking up\n\n* Tracking objects in the room with her eyes\n\n* Acknowledging and noticeably recognizing people she knows (and looking at them in their eyes)\n\n* Reaching out and grabbing for loved ones\n\nKaiser has informed her mother (The friend is 26, mother is only person with power in her life) that it is in their opinion that she will not make any further significant improvements and are requesting the mother permission to transfer her to a sub-acute facility.\n\nWe have all petitioned for at the very least a second opinion on her progress, but were swiftly declined by Kaiser on all accounts.\n\nIdeally the mother would like her transferred to a rehab facility, but if there's no way to make that happen, she would like to bring her home to pass at home.\n\nKaiser has giver her one option, transfer to a specific sub-acute facility, or they will issue a \"Notice of refusal\" to her tomorrow.\nWhere can we go from here? Sorry for the length, thank you for your time.", "summary": "Kaiser wants to send a friend who just came out of a coma into a subacute facility, how can we get her sent elsewhere?"} {"id": "t3_2pf0op", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "My new employer disclosed my confidential info to my current employer against my wish... AZ", "post": "I currently work as a physical therapist at a small privately owned clinic. When I signed on for the job I agreed to a 8 mile non-compete clause stating that I would not work in that radius. My dream job at a well known hospital chain finally had a opening and I accepted. I quit current job and was instructed by my future manager (a former employee at the small clinic) to not disclose my future location because they have tried to use legal action against PTs who were leaving due to the clause. In the new hire paperwork, I elected to not have my new employer contact my current employer. That background company called me one day ask asked if they could call my current company to only verify current employment. During the phone conversation, I told the woman that she could, if the name of the facility that she is asking for is not disclosed and if the verification of employment without specifics was the only contact they had. Two days later my current employer emailed me stating \"hospital chain (location) contacted me asking confidential information about salary etc, would you like me to disclose or not.\" I contacted HR and I have had higher ups apologize stating they are \"investigating the issue\" I realize I should have told the background people no, but the woman assured me the only thing they say when they call is \"does employee X currently work at your facility.\" and that was the end of the conversation. I want to know what I should do? I know I cant ask legal advice but I do not want to be taken advantage from a large company with a legal staff.", "summary": "told new job's background check people to not disclose my future employer, they did. My current job can possibly initiate legal action due to a location clause for non compete. What advice do you have for my situation?"} {"id": "t3_1u3jo1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17M] and my 'partner' [18F] - caught her with my best friend.", "post": "We met and hit it off the first night and this continued for just over a month and a bit, things were going good but i had noticed my best friend was spending lots of time with her like going for walks and getting coffee and lunch and he would always pay (friends would split it, if the guy is interested he would pay usually).\n\nThis went on for a while and after a night out with the group of us last week I noticed the both of them had become quite distant and rather unwilling to talk to me much. In the end, a week later at a party I stumbled across the both of them hooking up. Who should I be angry at? The girl I've known for about 6 weeks or the guy who I have been to school with and friends with for 6 years? I feel like it's more of her fault and that she initiated it but I can't help but think about the fact that he's been my friend for 6 years and did this with the girl he knows i'm seeing and am involved with.", "summary": "Best friend hooked up with girl I've been seeing for just over a month, caught them in the act, not sure who to be angry at."} {"id": "t3_53c2b6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Me [26M] and my girlfriend [28F] of seven years have been engaged for a year, she wants me to convert to Judaism when we get married and I don't know what to do.", "post": "Me and my girlfriend have been together for seven years, I've known about her being Jewish since we met and I've respected everything that she and her family do when it comes to their beliefs. I attended her younger brother's bar mitzvah and I've been researching Judaism for a long time since we met. It's something that I've been really interested in considering that I've been raised in a non-religious family.\n\nFor the last year, we've been talking about various stuff about what we want at the wedding and what last name will we take and one of the main things that she wants is for me to convert to Judaism. We have been talking about this for about four years now as we have grown closer and I've learned more about her. I'll say again, I've never been religious myself, but now we've reached such an important moment in our lives that it's been brought up a lot now.\n\nI only know a few things about how the conversion process works and I've told her that I'm a little nervous about it. Getting married is a big thing, but converting to a religion is a much bigger thing that can change your life and be very overwhelming. We have visited a rabbi and I was turned down twice, but my girlfriend wants to try again as she really wants this to happen.\n\nI just don't know what to do or say about this whole thing, any advice?", "summary": "Me [26M] and my girlfriend [28F] of seven years have been engaged for a year, she wants me to convert to Judaism when we get married and I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_10ynqs", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I want to move into an apartment with some of my friends but have no idea how to convince my parents. What would/did you do/say?", "post": "Dear Reddit, \n\nI am a 21-year old male who, along with two other friends, want to move into an apartment together. All three of us are still studying. One of us has already gotten permission from his parents. It would be hard but not impossible financially - I work in a pet store one day a week and me and one of my to-be roommates both study IT and there's always some way to earn money in that sector. If necessary, we also have a backup plan to earn some extra bucks that I'd rather not share here. Due to several reasons, I can't tell my parents about this. \n\nMy main motivation for wanting to move out is the fact that my parents are moving far away from where I live now, making my daily commute to and from school (with public transport) a 2 hour one instead of a fifteen minute one, plus the added downside of leaving everyone and everything I know for a small village in the figurative middle of nowhere. They also keep telling me that I am not prepared for the real world and this, to me, would be a great way to learn how to function completely or almost completely autonomously in society. \n\nThe problem is that I don't know how to convince my parents to let me go through with this. I'm inclined to do it anyway even if they don't want me to, just because I need a place where I can get away from them and it's impossible if I'm stranded kilometres from every place I know. What I would like to know most is how you would or did convince your parents to let you move out, as well as any advice for someone who's planning on moving out.", "summary": "Want to move out from my parents so that I don't have to move with them with two friends, financially feasible (living alone is, paying for my studies isn't) but I don't know how to convince my parents."} {"id": "t3_3gsx7m", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by smiling at a cute girl in the elevator", "post": "I was walking into the elevator in my apartment building on the 7th floor, as I enter I see a cute girl so I smile as I walk in (as I smile when I see any cute girl) I turn to the right to press the lobby button and as I look to the right (my blind spot) I see her big ass buff boyfriend shit gets awkward as he stares me down, still I decide to stand next to her and between him because after all, it is an elevator how much space do you have. He then moves to go hold his girls hand and then looks at me like i'm crazy (LOL) I don't know if he thought I was hitting on his girl or something but that wasn't even the case (but she was cute) we're all just standing there as we descend 7 awkward floors before we get out and part ways. The most awkward part of this all is I see this guy while i'm doing my laundry, he lives one floor above me so I often see him in the elevator when he does so now every time I see him he'll probably remember me as the guy who tried to hit on his girl.", "summary": "I smiled at a cutie while her boyfriend was next to me in an elevator. He lives one floor above me."} {"id": "t3_43aizp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [33 M] with my mother[69 F] 20+ years, How do you deal with a parent that does not listen to you?", "post": "I'm not talking about family members that hear you, then ignore your advice. I mean it in the literal sense, where they only catch 2 maybe 3 words out of every 30 words you speak.\n\nI'm a 33 year old, accomplished, 100% independent man. For my entire life, my mother has treated me as if i were a 5 year old child. She'll hear one keyword out of a sentence, completely ignore the context and concepts being conveyed in the sentence, then start talking about something that's loosely related to that one word. It's literally driving me insane, and i'm about to cut all ties with her over it.\n\nFamily counseling hasn't worked, pointing it out every time it happens doesn't work, using a voice recorder and showing that she does it hasn't worked, writing instead of talking doesn't work. And the worst part is, even with undeniable proof that it's happening, she wont' even acknowledge it. I'm at wit's end with this, Does anyone have any suggestions?\n\nAlso, for context, she doesn't seem to have this problem with anyone else.", "summary": "Ongoing respect and listening problems with my mother. About to cut all ties if i can't find a way to improve the situation."} {"id": "t3_2n3tet", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23F] am really lost with my pseudo-FWB [24M] and don't know how to progress from here...", "post": "We met on Tinder a few months ago and have been on approx. 5 dates (3 sleepovers at his place.)\n\nI feel like we've hit the point where we need to have the \"defining the relationship\" talk because everything has gone smoothly. I've met his roommates and close friends multiple times, gone on a double date, watched football games, had brunch and dinner, etc. \n\nLast time I saw him, I asked if he was sleeping with anyone else since we are only using BC pills and he said he wasn't. However, he is still active on Tinder. \n\nI think he sees us as FWB since we only occasionally text. Usually he asks how my week is going or to make plans with me. Other than that we don't text much. \n\nHe seems to enjoy my company and always includes me in activities with his friends as well, but this hasn't given me enough time to completely trust him and communicate all my feelings. At the same time, I'm going crazy and need to get all of this off my chest without shocking him with sudden serious talk.\n\nWhat is the best way to go about this? I know that I want more than FWB with him since i can't separate emotion from sex. I feel really down and worse after we hang out.", "summary": "I'm in a pseudo-FWB situation getting mixed signals from him, and I don't know how to confront him about it or where to start the conversation."} {"id": "t3_2os1qf", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being a guy with long hair", "post": "This didn't happen today, but a few months ago. But heres the quick background; I'm a 19 year old male, and have had long hair for about the past 5 years. I often wear it in what is now called the \"man-bun\", and due to that sometimes I forget how long it is, which at the time was easily past my shoulders.\n\nHeres the story - I went out with some friends to a club. I'm not usually a dancer, but I was with a girl who wanted to dance, I had a few drinks in me, so why not? A few of us get on the dance floor and are having fun, then the girl asks me to take my hair down. I don't see an issue with it so I do, and continue to dance.\n\nAnd then I felt hands around my waist, and someone grinding against me from behind. I look over my shoulder to see this guy grinding against my ass in a very sexual way, when he starts to slide his hands down to my groin. I jumped and turned around fully and it took him a few seconds to realize that no, I am not woman with a mans build, but just a dude. He turned and ran away.\n\nI guess its a fuck up on both our parts, but needless to say I don't wear my hair down while dancing anymore.", "summary": "I'm a 19 year old male with long hair, had it down while dancing with a girl, guy grabs me and grinds against my ass and start to feel me up thinking I'm a chick."} {"id": "t3_4b3svu", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to make a friend.", "post": "So, I like I always do on a saturday decide to go out to try to make friends, get a life, a hobby something to make me less of a useless person. I picked up a card game recently and decided I could change my life through it, I started by going to my local game shop. All started out well, we played some games, shared some laughs, there where some pranks and in jokes made. After a few hours, I take a different seat and notice a mostly empty pack of crisps, so I decide someone must have left it here and because all the guys where pretty chill, I take a bite. Ten minutes later it turns out someone owned said bag of crisps, so of course I buy him a new one, sit back down and expect the misunderstanding to stop. But then I fuck up, people start casually mentioning it and it turns into a full on debate. I don't know these people but they are close friends, of course I try to argue but I realise I'm a worthless piece of junk and leave the store. I had one chance at finally turning my life around and I fuck it all up in one second. It's pretty much decided I should never come back.", "summary": "I'm a useless piece of junk that doesn't get what is too far in terms of friendship and social norms, so now I have no friends."} {"id": "t3_2csnec", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My (23f) bf(23m) of 2 years lied to me in the beginning", "post": "I recently discovered my boyfriend lied to me at the beginning of the relationship. He claimed there was never anything between him and this friend of his. I overheard her say something halfway into the relationship, over the phone. Something you don't say to a friend. I don't think he cheated though.\n\nI was snooping on his computer, something he would possibly break up with me over. I found that he had said he met this \"awesome girl\" around the time he met her. This has left me upset and I feel betrayed. It was a post he made on here over two years ago, before I met him. But still. He lied to me.\n\nHe knows that this is an issue because my ex cheated with a girl he liked before he met me.\n\nI don't know how to ask him about it. We are about to move and I refuse to move if he won't admit that he lied\n\n____", "summary": "he lied about a friend he used to like claiming there was never anything between them. I just figured out that it was a lie. How do I bring it up?"} {"id": "t3_3pemku", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How can I (24/M) avoid the feeling of wanting to back away and cutting it off with a girl (23/F) before it gets serious?", "post": "So I've noticed that anytime things start to get serious with a girl, I tend to have the habit of cutting it off and backing away before things get serious to avoid getting hurt. \n\nIn this particular case, we've been seeing each other for about almost a month, fairly often. Both of us opened up about how we feel for each other.\n\n I think she's awesome and there's definitely some potential there, but I just start to have all these thoughts about why I should cut it off so I don't end up hurt.\n\nHow can I avoid this feeling? I never know how to distinguish if it's a 'gut feeling' or me being paranoid..", "summary": "Tend to have the feeling of wanting to cut it off with a girl before it gets serious because I'm scared of getting hurt. How can I avoid it?"} {"id": "t3_4v5jgz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20 M] gf [19 F] broke up with me for someone else in my friend group.", "post": "So we broke up a few weeks ago and now she is dating someone else in my friend group. I don't know what to do. My friend group is very close and my brain is telling me to cut them both out of my life for all the pain they have caused me and because I can't take these constant reminders and seeing them together. \n\nHowever, cutting them out isn't such a simple task. Like I said my friend group is very close and I'm afraid it will tear a hole in our friend group if I delete them from my life. If everyone is hanging out and they're there, I don't think I could muster up the strength to go. I'm lost and afraid. Life is never fair is it?\n\nTime will hopefully heal this, but right now I'm devastated and a mess.\n\nWhat should I do?", "summary": "Gf broke up with me and is dating someone else in my friend group. Do I cut them out of my life?"} {"id": "t3_bb9zh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hearing Problem (with music, keys)", "post": "Let's keep this short. I play several instruments, and am very familiar with keys, tones, etc. 6th sense, you know?\n\nEitherway, in the past week, I woke up one day and all the songs that I know are about a half key lower. All of them.\n\nI've tried listening to them through different sources (computer, laptop, stereo, live), through different websites, and through different interfaces (headphones, speakers, stock speakers, cars). It's all the same, and doesn't seem to be going away. It's very depressing.\n\nIf I tune an instrument, according to the tuner, I have tuned it too high by just a bit. Everything is sharp.\n\nNo trauma. I'm a pretty healthy person otherwise (that's an understatement). It wasn't after any sort of loud event. \n\nI just turned 26.", "summary": "What I KNOW to have been a G in a song for years on a CD or MP3 is now a little above an F#. My hearing is still close enough to know what something should be."} {"id": "t3_cbcbq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Advice on Terrible Family Situation Needed", "post": "I'm an early 20's guy with no income to speak of, some credit card debt, and no possibility of returning to the university that I attended because of financial issues. I have two younger siblings who deserve much more than their current family situation.\n\nBackground: It was 2 years ago when my parents separated. It was 3 years ago when my mother started looking around for other guys. Based on her extremely erratic behavior, I have concluded that she has some sort of borderline personality disorder or chemical imbalance (she had been on anxiety pills for a long time). She sleeps around, locks us out of the house when she's doing it, squanders her custody time with my 2 other siblings, and has no intention of listening to me or her children when we say we want her back. To top it all off she drinks pretty heavily.\n\nRecently she went on a week trip without notifying anyone, and left me, a non-participant in any and all custody agreements, with responsibilities of my own, to care for my siblings. She also receives overage benefits from my dad which she immediately squanders on shoes, alcohol, and clothing.\n\nWe've had conflicts and she's kicking me out at the end of the month. So there's that as well.\n\nHow can I remove them from her custody? She has already demonstrated a complete disinterest on her \"days,\" but how do I show that to the judge when apart from things only family would see there's not much legal standing. I want to make it better for my brother (13) and sister (16) but I have absolutely no means.", "summary": "Parents divorced. Crazy Mother. Getting kicked out of my home. How can I get custody of my siblings, or rather take custody of them away from my mother?"} {"id": "t3_1g2rzc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20/M] GF of two years [20/F] is planning to spend more time overseas than with me.", "post": "I have been dating my current girlfriend for nearly two years, and we have had a very loving and stable relationship together. Last summer, she spent most of that time in New Orleans, and everything went mostly smoothly, but I recently pieced together her plans up until the end of 2014.\n\nShe is currently abroad in Africa, and she will be over there for most of this summer, taking a half of a month at the end to go to Europe. She will be back at school with me for the fall and spring semesters, and then she will be going back to Europe for the next summer. Afterwards, she is spending the fall semester traveling overseas as well. Overall, this adds up to 9 months at school with me, and 10.5 months out of the country.\n\nI confronted her about this today, and she simply responded that traveling was something that she had to do for herself, and that there was nothing I could do to change her mind. She requested that I join her for the Europe trips, but she knows that I am not in the financial situation to leave.\n\nAs I was first starting college, I was in a relationship that turned into a long distance one, and it did not end well, after about a year. I am terrified of the same thing happening, but I love her very much and I want to hold on.\n\nAm I overreacting? What should I do?", "summary": "Girlfriend is planning to spend 10.5 months traveling the world, while leaving only 9 months at school with me. I want to make the relationship work, but I have no idea how to go about it."} {"id": "t3_1uxxzi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to handle this tricky situation ive gotten myself into...23/f and 31/m", "post": ">ok so throwaway for obvious reasons....\n\n>Ok so I'm a 23/F and he is 31/M manager. I have a SO but the chemistry between me and (let's call him Sam) was electric from the minute we met and we obviously like each other. So within the first week, Sam had asked if I had a boyfriend, to which I replied, yes, however that same weekend he invites me over to his house to have a drink with him and his housemates. I agree, thinking that maybe he was just being friendly and nice and that while I would like to sleep with him, I wouldn't make any moves unless he initiated. Anyway long story short, he initiated and we slept together and over the next few weeks we slept together another few times. \n\n>At the start, I was thinking it would just be a casual relationship and I could use it to blow off some frustration about my current SO and live a little bit as well as Sam is great fun and provided a good release (I do love my SO very much, however I am currently feeling trapped in domestic life) at the start, going to work was fine, however now he has started playing mind games with me and I'm going insane\u2026my anxiety levels are way up and as I'm typing this I'm sitting at work feeling like I'm going to vomit. \n\n>I feel incredibly used and I was wondering, how do you get over feelings of rejection and being used? any advice on how to handle him when we work closely together?", "summary": "slept with my coworker, developed feelings, he is playing mind games and im now struggling with feeling of rejection. Also need any tips to handle working together"} {"id": "t3_4s8y2a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 M] cut ties with my friend [21 F] today, she doesn't know.", "post": "I'm not sure where to start. Im a guy whos a sophmore in college. About 11 months ago I met this girl and we quickly became friends. A few months ago I started to get feelings for her and got the guts to ask her out. She said no (which sucked a lot and hurt) but we \nremained friends (She still had feelings for her ex which is why I believe she said no). Well I thought I would get over her but apparently I never did. She is back with her ex now and i think im jealous. Whenever we would hang out or grab lunch I was always ok. I even forgot I did ask her out, but as soon as she told me about her ex everything came back. I didn't really react or show any emotion and changed the subject.\n\nNow the thing that sucks is that she's a good friend, its really hard to find true friends and when it comes to that i hit the jackpot. But because i have feelings that i never got over this friendship wont last. I hate that its my fault that i have these feelings and because of me I'm gonna loose a friend. To add more to how much its gonna suck she is literally the only friend i have.\n\nI decided that i would just cut ties and never talk to her again. She sent me some text messages and i'm not going to respond. I haven't told her and will keep ignoring her texts. She has no clue now, she thinks everything is normal for the time being. The last time I saw her (yesterday) we were laughing and said see you later. No point in explaining that i still like her or just suppressing these feelings. Its not worth it. Even if i did i wouldn't know where to start. I wish i never met her it would have been so much better. I feel like i should do or say something even though it would be awkward/tough situation. I'm not sure if what im doing is right.", "summary": "Got Jealous of friend's (who i have feelings for) relationship. Ignoring her and feel like a horrible person."} {"id": "t3_53bcbn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my cool friends that I've somewhat been crushing on [17 F] a few months, need some help here", "post": "I'll try and make this quick, since its not a complex situation, I met a girl at work who was seasonal, we get friendly wanted to go the movies with me and stuff (still hasn't happened yet), started crushing on her, got a boyfriend when school started (she's a senior in high school, I'm a freshman in college), we snapchat each other everyday, etc. Now at the moment don't know if she still has a boyfriend or not, or whether or not she has any interest in me at all. It could be she sees me simply as a friend, or perhaps she has a thing for me as well, I really don't know. I am trying not to assume anything since I've learned when I assume stuff, that's where I fuck things up. So I'm gonna try and go to the movies with her sometime, I have even told her if she does not want to she does not have to go to the movies with me, but she says she'd definitely like to.", "summary": "^^^read above, just need some outside input on this, and what they think or suggestions are or anything in general, just wanted to hear some different opinions on this and see what people think is all."} {"id": "t3_n1cwe", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I am now the proud owner of a cute little bluenose pitbull puppy. But reddit, I am looking to you for some guidance...", "post": "I got him yesterday, he is adorable and I am very happy with him!\n\nIt is very important to me that I train him correctly and make sure he develops to his full potential. So I am trying to figure out my plan of action for training. However I am getting tons of mixed information on how I should train him.\n\nI work a 9-5 mon-fri and my girlfriend is showing up at the house to spend about 30 minutes with him at lunch. She also has days off during the week and works weekends so he will have occasional days off from being stuck at home alone.\n\nLast night I bought a baby gate and used it to block him into a large downstairs tiled bathroom. That is where he is now.\n\n**So now my questions**\n\n*First Lets assume money doesn't matter and only this little guys comfort and development does!\n*Now that I am at work a few people told me I should crate train him, I was thinking that might be pretty crappy to be locked into a cage all day, but they say it is actually most humane for the dog.. won't he pee and such all over himself? Should I just get a huge kennel that even I could fit in comfortably? Or get a small one and upgrade it as he grows?\n*I also have a large open tile area that has a door which I could put a indoor doggy gate and doggy door so he could freely go outback and inside.. I was a little worried about security, but figured I could start with a small doggy door and then upgrade it to larger ones as he grows, at that point no one will want to try to come in anyways :)\n*When I put him to sleep last night I put his food and water in the bathroom, I think this is why he pooped and peed so much, I also left the food and water there before I went to work, should I leave him without food and water throughout the night/day and that might get him more sanitary conditions? \n\nI have more questions, but for now tell me what to do reddit. I will listen.", "summary": "I am a new puppy owner, first one, done my research, getting mixed information, feel free to give me two cents on anything about raising a 9 week old puppy."} {"id": "t3_2wt1aq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my girlfriend[20F] of 1+ years; she doesn't know what she wants sexually and its hurting our sex life", "post": "I'm just gonna come quick and say it. I come quickly during sex.\n\nBecause of this I am much more open and giving in sex in terms of oral and fingering. Unfortunately, my gf isn't too fond letting me do oral or fingering because she's never had a partner whose been good at it. I've done it once or twice to her but because it wasn't perfect she isn't too keen to try again.\n\nThis leads to minimal foreplay and short sex. She loves nipple play which I usually start off with. But obviously she doesn't get wet enough from only nipple play so when it comes down to actual sex, its sometimes painful for her. (and when its not I come quickly.)\n\nShe doesn't like tongue kissing either so make out sessions don't really work for turning her on. Her sex drive has always been low (2-3 times a month at best) but she hasn't been wet enough recently so everytime we try, its too painful for her to continue.\n\nWhen I ask her what she likes sexually or what I can do to her that she would like, she always says she doesn't know. I've suggested toys, (she refuses), i've even suggested eating her ass, (she smiles at the thought, but still refuses)\n\nSome extra things about us:\nShe has never had an orgasm from any of her partners or me.\nShe's the first girl i've been with so i'm a bit inexperienced.", "summary": "My girlfriend won't let me do the common foreplay things and she is obviously sexually frustated. Please give tips/advice"} {"id": "t3_3ue5rm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] keep getting \u00abghosted\u00bb by women.", "post": "Hello, I recently met a couple of women (25, 21) via Tinder in the past couple of months that I really liked and felt like we connected, but they end up cutting off contact, and I don't know why.\n\nThe first girl, we'll call Rebecca, we had good chemistry, we could talk/text each other for hours. Our first date was at a bar, we talked and got to know each other very well. Our second date was to an art museum, everything went well too. Our third date was hanging out at my place, that's when we had our first kiss, but we didn't go beyond 2nd base (her decision, and I respected that). I asked her out again, and she said she wanted to hang out again, but all of a sudden (that week)she just quit talking to me all together.\n\nThe next girl, we'll call Lexi, we had our first date at another museum, we had good chemistry, could flirt with each other, and seemed to get along great. We kissed on our first date. We hung out at my place for the second date, and just watched netflix and kissed (we didn't do anything sexual, neither one of us was in the mood as we were both tired and I still wanted to get to know her better). I asked her to go out to dinner with me (3 days after our previous date), and again, I get silence.\n\nCould anyone give me insight into why this is happening? They just stop talking to me after seemingly good dates. Obviously I would ask them why they do it, but they're clearly not into responding to me, so I won't get anywhere there. It's frustrating because I don't know what I'm doing wrong, is inviting them over to my place a bad move? IDK what I'm doing wrong.", "summary": "I keep going on dates with women and they always end up not talking to me after we go out and I get no indication as to why."} {"id": "t3_3vddm2", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By wanting a Movie", "post": "So this happened a few years ago. It was the holidays and my Grandma thought i should get some things for Christmas.\n\nI Get some clothes, a Game or two, and a new pair of shoes.\n\nNote, i'm not a Greedy kid. I got mainly things i needed, and a couple games.\n\nSo my Grandma had to return some movies, and like the curious little child i was, i looked around for a Movie i wanted.\n\nso she's been waiting in line to return these movies, after like, 15 minutes of waiting in line. She wants to get out of there ASAP.\n\nI ask for this Movie my Sister loves, and she says *\"I Can't buy anymore, go put it back please.\"*\n\nNah, i'm gonna keep asking for this Movie.\n\nShe get's a bit more stern with me, and tells me to put it back.\n\nOf course, i don't do that.\n\nI Keep holding the Movie until she finally Returns these movies, and when we start leaving..\n\n**I KEEP HOLDING THE MOVIE**\n\nSo i walk through the Theft Detector, and this loud beeping goes off. I Activated an Alarm by wanting this Movie.\n\nShe's FURIOUS with me, of course. and I, sadly put the movie back. She apologizes to the Cashier, and continues Outside.\n\nShe gives me this rant about how i should \"Never do that Again\" and \"How that could get me arrested\" and so on.\n\nI get dropped off back home, knowing that my Grandmother no longer trusts me to go shopping with her.", "summary": "I Kept holding a Movie through a Theft Detector and my Grandmother never takes me shopping anymore cause she doesn't trust me."} {"id": "t3_50ljop", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] have a friend [18M] who switches between phases of treating me like I'm a lifelong friend and phases of ignoring/avoiding me. I don't understand it :(", "post": "I've known him (I'll refer to him as \"M\") for about a full year now, when I moved schools. We bonded over a shared passion for English and similar bands back then. He introduced me to all his friends and I felt so accepted, so welcome -- like I meant something to M and all his friends. In the weeks that followed, M and I got a lot closer: I went to see his band's gigs, which really surprised but really touched him a lot, too (he told me so himself - that it meant a lot to him), he invited me to parties, we caught the team home together, we paired up in class, etc. \n\nBut then there's periods of time (like, around two weeks or so - started being a thing this year) where I may as well not even exist to him. He won't sit with me in class, he doesn't initiate conversations with me unless he absolutely has to, he ignores my presence, he doesn't smile at me, when I try talking with him he'll give short, disinterested answers... And then, two weeks later, he'll be back to \"normal\", smiling at me all the time, sitting next to me, messaging me, liking my FB posts, we have conversations that make me feel like it's not our ears that are doing all the listening, but our souls instead. He'll tell me out of the blue that he likes my T-shirt, or my dress, or the essay I read to our Literature class that day, he'll walk with me to the tram before we catch it home together... I love these days. I feel like I mean something to him when he's like this. \n\nAnd then right when I feel like it's all okay again, it'll cycle back into that two-week or so period where he'll start avoiding me again, taking the train when he sees that I'm off to get the tram, keeping a distance from me in class... :(\n\nIs this normal? Why does he do this? I don't know what to think anymore and it really gets me down.", "summary": "why does my good friend either actively seek me out or actively avoid me, and why does he keep switching between the two?"} {"id": "t3_yu0s4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I was rejected by my best friend. Maybe?", "post": "I submitted a post a few weeks ago wanting help with feelings I had for a long time friend, but I deleted my account for fear that he would find it. I took the advice I was given and told him how I felt. This is how it went.\n\nI (F23) have been in love with my best friend (M23) for about 14 years. We grew up together, but he moved away about 8 years ago. We kept in touch very frequently. Only one long period of no communication due to stress in school, I guess. I recently went to go visit him and it was the first time I had seen him since he moved away. Ever since I came home, my feelings for him had been overwhelming.\n\nI broke down one evening and wrote him a very nice email, basically saying that I had feelings for him and I wanted to know how he felt. He emailed me back a week later. He told me that he wasn't very happy with the way things were going in his life right now. These are all things that I sensed when I visited him. He is just having a hard time as a recent college grad finding a job and he also has a medical issue. Nothing too serious, but I think it bothers him. Anyway, he then goes onto tell me that he really wants to focus on getting into school and because of this he, \"for the foreseeable future wants to remain friends.\" He also said that he knows this is not what I wanted to hear, but he respects me for writing him.\n\nHe's right when he said that it wasn't what I wanted to hear. I just wanted to know how he felt about me. Now all of my feelings are out on the table and his are still a mystery to me. I haven't responded to his email yet, because I am not sure what to say. I'm not sure what he meant by the \"foreseeable future.\" Is he just saying that to protect my feelings or does he actually feel like maybe one day we could be more than just friends? Should I read between the lines and assume that it is never going to happen?", "summary": "Told my long time, long distance friend that I had feelings for him and responds saying that because of stress, for the \"foreseeable future\" that he would like to remain friends. Confused in how to respond."} {"id": "t3_ncj82", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How should I proceed with this girl?", "post": "Ok so here's the story so far.. In my school there is a girl that caught my eye about 8 months ago. Over the course of about 3 or 4 months I kept awkwardly stalking her on FB and stuff like that until I finally managed to approac her and talk to her. I think I've had a huge crush on her at that point. We had a real good conversation and she seemed like such a sweet and interesting person. Between then and now there were two huge gaps where due to schedule stuff we wouldn't see each other in school at all. So now the situation has become really awkward as I only managed to say hi to her once or twice since then and sometimes we don't say hi at all. I think she's getting the feeling that I'm kind of a creep. I decided to forget about it and I noticed that I thought about her less and less. But actually I think it's kind of a shame thinking back about how awesome she was. How should I approach her now and get conversation going again?", "summary": "I have a crush on a girl, had one great conversation with her, didn't see her for a long time, now it's become awkward to even say hi. ****"} {"id": "t3_319k85", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I resented my brother growing up, now I feel horrible and wish I could build a relationship with him.", "post": "I was an only child until I was 12 and always wanted a sibling. I was jealous of my friends who had a live-in playmate and someone to talk to. My mum was a single parent and spent most of her time either at work or on her computer. I used to play Monopoly by myself and pretend to be someone different for each of the 'players'.\n\nMy brother was born when I was 12. I was ecstatic - finally I was getting the sibling I had always wanted and I adored that baby. By that time, however, I was old enough that instead of being an older sibling I ended up more like a second parent. Initially this was fine, I enjoyed looking after him because I had always liked babies and it was fun to see him develop.\n\nAs we got older, I was left looking after him more often. I looked after him every day after school all through my teenage years while mum was at work. I couldn't go anywhere, I couldn't stay at a friend's, I couldn't make any plans for after school because I had to get home to my brother. I wanted to be a teenager and do normal teenage things, but instead I was stuck at home looking after someone who shouldn't have been my responsibility. I resented him for that.\n\nIt made me depressed and angry, and destroyed any chance of building a loving relationship between him and I. He's 11 now and I know nothing about him. I only ever see him when I visit mum, and even then we don't talk. I still see myself as an only child, and him as one too. We didn't grow up together as siblings, we grew up as caregiver and child.\n\nI'd love to build a relationship with him, because I feel horrible when I think about the way I treated him. The way I took my anger out on him and never showed him any love. But I'm pretty sure he that's all he remembers about me, and he won't understand why it was that way.", "summary": "Was an only child wanting a sibling, got a brother when I was 12, was nothing like what I thought it be and I took that out on him. Worried that I can never form a relationship with him because of it."} {"id": "t3_2wmk4h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30/F] trying to figure out how to see this guy [32/M] that I like.", "post": "There is this guy I like that works at a local hardware store. I've seen him many times, we've talked several times and get along. I've been wanting to ask him if he wants to grab a drink sometime, but I don't always see him when I am in the store. I think he works in the back storage area and not out on the floor. And yes, I know he is there because I know the car he drives, he told me that once. \n\nSo how can I get to see this guy? I don't want to be stalking the store! It's like how many things does a girl need to buy at a hardware store.\n\nSo guys, what's your advice? Again, I don't want to seem like a stalker, but I do want to see this guy again at some point...soon.", "summary": "Trying to see this guy I like again, but I don't want to seem like I'm stalking the store he works at."} {"id": "t3_11k6og", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23] am worried she [22] will forget my birthday.", "post": "Me: 23 M\n\nHer: 22 F\n\nTogether for about 6 months.\n\nMy birthday is in roughly a week. She hasn't mentioned it. Should I be worried that she could forget it? She knows when it is, or at least, we have talked about it in the past and so I can expect that she knows. But she hasn't mentioned anything about it in the past 2 months. Should I remind her? Or should I just wait and see if she remembers? If she forgets, what should I do?\n\nSorry if this seems pedantic- it probably is. But my last GF, while not forgetting about my Bday, always had lack-luster responses about it. Not getting bday sex was the least of my worries with her. We were together for a good while, so I don't know if I should be worried about this or not or what to do.", "summary": "Do I remind gf about my bd, or hope she remembers? If she forgets, what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_oyx1k", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Does anyone know a manager or worker with keys to a Chuck E. Cheese (in West Michigan) that would do an after hours party for a nice chunk of change? (Please read, it's awesome)", "post": "So hopefully this will get upvoted enough where a lot of people will see it, so my odds are better at finding this. I am helping organize a bachelor party for my best friend in the coming months. I don't want to say when it is in this post, nor the exact city for fear that this fellow redditor will see this and be wise to what's happening. (hence the throw away account)\n\nWhile brainstorming at a bar over delicious beer, my buddy and I have come up with a bachelor party that will consist of strippers (obviously), a clown (the worse, the better) a B or C list celebrity to show up and just sit there (partially stolen from a great Nick Swardson stand up), and 6 goats. The goats will not be for fucking, but will just be roaming around, so when people come in they just say \"Whaaatt the fuuucckk?\" ....ALL OF THIS TAKING PLACE AT A CHUCK E. CHEESE. I know it will be expensive, but I think I can swing it, and want to throw my best friend the most epic bachelor party ever. I realize there are certain health code violations that will be broken, which is why I need someone who just doesn't give a fuck. You or they will be paid for their services. Staff does not have to be there, we will bring our own food and drink and goats and strippers.", "summary": "Need a Chuck E. Cheese to throw a stripper, clown, and goat infested bachelor party for my best friend."} {"id": "t3_mhrlt", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Am I overreacting?", "post": "My boyfriend is going on a trip to visit a friend who is currently overseas. She is already there, and will meet up with him when he arrives. They have been good friends since before we dated, and I found out they had a relationship (again, before I knew him). He once told me he had very strong feelings for her, second only to me. \n\nI have no problem with the visiting, but I asked that they don't share a room just the two of them. I wouldn't mind them being in a large, dorm style room, but otherwise prefer they sleep separately. She got upset and asked if he was joking, saying it was going to cost more money etc. He stuck firm (maybe because I was there) and said no. I really don't want to come between them, but I am incredibly uncomfortable with the thought of someone that's had sex with him sleeping with him. It is not a matter of trust, as he once cheated on me before, and I seriously doubt he would do it again.", "summary": "my boyfriend is going overseas to stay with an exgirlfriend (now platonic friends). I asked them to sleep in separate rooms as I wasn't comfortable with them sleeping next to each other. Am I overreacting?"} {"id": "t3_244i0x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my 21 [M] fling- how to go on more dates without seeming clingy/overly-demanding?", "post": "I'm a 22 year old female and a senior in college. A week ago, I started hanging out with a friend from class who is also graduating this year. He came over and we spent 4 hours talking about everything from family and kids to human morality and religion. It was great to be able to talk with someone about substantive topics rather than the usual \"Omg how drunk were you?\" conversations that the kids at my school usually have.\n\nWe started out by just kissing and then after a few more times of seeing each other, we slept together. I saw him 4 times this past week. Is that excessive?\n\nHe's moving to Paris after graduation and I'm moving to New York so I obviously don't want a relationship out of this. On the other hand, I'm getting bored of just going out for drinks and hanging out in my room. I want to get dinners and do other things, but I don't want the guy to think that by asking for more, I'm getting clingy or expecting him to be my boyfriend. I basically just want to do more activities with him other than talking and hanging out at my house, but still want to keep things fun and casual since we only have 3 weeks left together.\n\nHow do I transition to doing dinner, movies, etc... without seeming like a stereotypical clingy girl?", "summary": "I want to do more than hang out at my house with the guy I'm seeing, but don't want to scare him into thinking I want a full-blown relationship."} {"id": "t3_2aw5wn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why does my [27F] boyfriend [31M] of two years not want to marry me?", "post": "He is my first boyfriend and the only person I ever slept with.\nTo me he is the one I have always waited for. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.\n\nMy boyfriend has made it clear to me that he has never loved anyone as much as me. He tells me that to him I am the greatest woman ever.\n\nThe problem is only, whenever I bring up the question of maybe possible ever getting married, he gets very quiet, looks away and doesn't talk about it further.\n\nHe was engaged to his last girlfriend but she cheated on him and he wasn't fully happy enough with her anyway to be with her fot the rest of their life.\n\nI had absolutely no problem if he would tell me that maybe one day he could see himself getting married to me but he doesn't want to talk about marriage, yet.\n\nBut he says nothing at all. He looks away as if he can't look me in the eyes because he has doubts already about us.\nThat's my issue, I feel like he has deep doubts about our relationship and not being able to say he could imagine marrying me makes me very, well, just very sad.\n\nDo I need to be worried? Shouldn't a man who tells me he loves me so much be able to say without any binding that he can imagine to spend the rest of his life with me? Instead of looking away and not say a single word anymore when the issue comes up?", "summary": "my boyfriend of two years says he's very happy with me. Shows me he loves me but can't even say non bindingly that he can imagine to marry me one day. Which makes me think he has doubts about us."} {"id": "t3_2acv35", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[34M] I am insecure and have no self esteem but am tired of waiting for it to go away. Can I date? Female perspective?", "post": "I'm trying to do all the usual recommended things to get self confidence back but it's either not working or it's going to take a LONG time. I'm getting older, my loneliness is compounding the problems, and I'm a bit worried about the future, so I think I want to at least try to find someone. \n\nI'm pretty sure I won't be able to give it my all though, I'm obviously depressed as well and don't have much interest in anything really, at least right now. I'm kind of hoping I'd snap out of it once I talk to someone and get the urge to go on adventures again. But of course I don't know if that will happen.\n\nI've been trained that men have to be super confident before getting involved with someone. Sometimes I just think this is just the way I am, and that means I don't deserve anyone... it's kind of a bummer.\n\nI'd like to know your thoughts. Especially a woman's who has been on the opposite side, dating someone like me. Thank you. and please be honest.", "summary": "I am insecure and have no self esteem but am tired of waiting for it to go away. Can I date? Female perspective?"} {"id": "t3_2xp1gu", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (19m) and (23f) have a weird flirty friendship", "post": "So I have known my friend (let's call her L) for around a year and a half now give or take a few months, and have gotten on reasonably well apart from a few random fallouts over nothing really that didn't last more than a week or so. \n\nSo I never actually noticed it until someone pointed it out to me that she flirts a bit with me and I do back though I don't realise it at all.\n\nNot long after someone pointed it out to me I realised all the things that I had missed, such as: if we on a night out, she'd always want me to come and dance with her, we'd walk to the next place together, sometimes holding hands (never though into that before as I know a few girls that do it to make them feel safe or whatever) but it was only me she would. \n\nDisclosure for this bit: I have no idea if this actually happened, though a few people have said it did. Never bought this up with her since this happened\n\nWe were out, met up with L, in a club when she got into town, APPARENTLY we kissed, though I have no recollection of this happening, and nothing has been said since. \n\nSince then, we will talk in work and it's like normal, but outside of work, I hear nothing from her anymore unless I see her. Yet we will go and get lunch together on our own if we have the same break at work.\n\nI do actually like L a lot, but I don't know what's ever going though her head. \n\nOne thing of note is she hasn't had a so in a long time for whatever reason, maybe that's why she's so evasive?", "summary": "know a girl from work, quite flirty, after apparent kiss nothing has been the same outside of work though in work it's fine. "} {"id": "t3_2xyjv9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with a girl i like [17 F] Dont know what my next move should be", "post": "Hey everyone recently i was at this event for my school and we did this thing about put nice things in other peoples envelope to say something good about themselves.\n\n I havent had my first kiss yet and was wondering if u guys can help. This girl asked me to go for a walk with her when we had free time so i did. I liked her for some time now and have been flirting with her for quite awhile however i rarely see her since i have such a big school. \n\nAnyway long story short we talked about kissing each other and we decided not to. I got over it until i saw a message saying \"I should of kissed you\" now i assumed it was her since we talked about it and walked for about 45 minutes. So i texted her two days ago and she responded yesterday but it seemed kind of dry she said it was anonymous and that i could or could not have been her so i told her the next time it comes up im not gonna let the opportunity go. Im really confused with what to go about doing next, I always hype myself up for stuff like this but then just get let down so i dont do it often. I dont know what my next move is im pretty sure she has feelings for me but idk any advice on texting, talking, next move etc. All help is appreciated.", "summary": "I Like this girl and i think she wants to kiss me but when i txted her it was kinda dry, so idk what to do next."} {"id": "t3_1exx9v", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "[SV]23 M 5'9\": 267=>225 w Pics [Oct 2012=>Now]", "post": "Hey /r/LoseIt folks. I started my second serious attempt at weight loss this fall, as I started graduate school. I started seriously Oct 1st, adding activity by living somewhere urban and close to work/school, and trying to eat a little more conscientiously (personally, I used 4 Hour Body's quasi-keto low carb diet. Hooray beans!). For the first couple months, I did daily weigh-ins as part of my morning routine, and I need to get back to that. I'm not calorie counting yet, but that and the gym are what I've kept in the back pocket for when I start gaining weight.\n\nIf you're anything like me, you occasionally get frustrated with the folks who lose 10 pounds and see a world of change. I honestly couldn't point to anything in the mirror that signalled weight loss until the last month or two. In the pictures below, I still really don't see much of a difference. But I'm down from a 42\" waist to a 38\", the scale claims that I weigh less, and friends/family make comment on it if the subject comes up. So, if you see big changes on the scale, but none in the mirror, keep at it. I know you've heard it before, I know it's a pain, but it's doing you good. You are losing weight. You are making progress. And hopefully you're trying to change your life for the healthier, not just your look for the slimmer. \n\nAnyway, here are pics:\n\n[Front Comparison \\(January 2012 to May 2013\\)](\n\n[Side Comparison \\(November 2011 to May 2013\\)](", "summary": "In month 8, have trouble seeing changes in the mirror, finally see changes now, and pics are provided. Keep at it, if you can't see changes, someone else definitely can."} {"id": "t3_3zmtpz", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Me [23M] confused about [22F] friend", "post": "So basically we had a going away party for one of my friends, we'll call her \"A\". Everyone got drunk (I was tipsy). Enter A's friend we'll call her \"B\". The whole night we were dancing and holding hands (She was sober apparently). B saw A get really drunk and decided we should leave, even though I didn't come with them B insisted I come. \n\nWe drop off everyone and it's me, A and B. A is extremely sick and starts vomiting everywhere so we have to drop her off at her house. So now it's me and B alone in the car just talking about whatever. Now I have never really been interested in B and I've seen her a couple of times but never caught my eye.\n\nFast forward after A left out of state. B starts texting/snapping me on the daily and she said \"even though A left, we still better hang out\". She'll send me selfies with her dog and all that kind of stuff. After texting around , I find we have a lot of things in common.", "summary": "Should I take this as she's interested? and I know no one here is a mind reader but why would she start talking to more after her friend left (Just to get some ideas ). "} {"id": "t3_1fyo5m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it okay to tell my lover that it bothers me when I don't hear from him for over 24 hours?", "post": "Me: Female 31\nPartner: Male 26\nRelationship Length: 1 year 6 months\n\nI ask, because it makes me feel needy and shitty that it bothers me so much. Normally he is very attentive, loving in his words, texts me several times a day if not more, but then suddenly out of nowhere he'll take forever to text me back, his replies very short and unloving even if I am trying to show HIM love, and if I don't say anything, I won't hear from him for a day or two - sometimes more - and then all of the sudden he'll be attentive again. I HATE THIS. Mostly I hate that it even matters to me! Should it matter to me? \n\nI want to be that cool girlfriend who doesn't give a shit, especially since I do have my own life, own hobbies, tons of friends and I could care less with anyone else, yet here I am, sweating it like a fucking lovesick 12 year old girl. I hate that anyone has this sort of power over my heart.", "summary": "My lover has weird texting habits and I want to know if it should bother me as much as it does and how I can handle it."} {"id": "t3_1esrtz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] am into my friend's [20M] half-brother [22M], but my friend has feelings for me. How should I proceed?", "post": "Last week I [19F] met one of my good friend's [20M] half-brothers [22M] and we really hit it off. We have plans to go out for drinks this week (drinking age here in the UK is 18), and have been \"talking\" every day since we met (Facebook and texting). I've known my friend for nearly 3 years.\n\nThe problem, though, is that my friend has feelings for me, although he has never told me himself. Some of our mutual friends and coworkers have told me that he wants to be with me, but I have no interest in him, and I am fairly certain he is aware of this.\n\nSo right now I'm debating what to do - I feel like if I were to pursue things with the half-brother that my friend would be hurt, but I don't want to miss out on this chance to get to know someone who may turn out to be perfect for me.\n\nI'm just wondering if pursuing things with the brother would be a totally scumbag move on my part, or if anyone here has experience (good or bad) with something similar?", "summary": "going on a date with my friend's brother, but my friend has feelings for me. Am I a scumbag? How should I proceed?"} {"id": "t3_3vfdsm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] struggling to believe I'm good enough to be in a loving relationship", "post": "I'll try to keep it brief, but it may end up as a wall of text so here it goes..\n\nI'm a 26 year old with a great job, who has traveled the world (and plans to keep doing so) and from what I'm told I'm smart, funny, pretty good looking, etc. Yet no matter how hard I try, I end up crashing and burning at potential relationships with girls I have feelings for.\n\nI've had a couple of casual things here and there that have lasted a bit, but anytime I meet someone who I have a genuine connection with I put so much pressure on myself to impress them and be the ideal guy that I end up screwing it up when something goes wrong and I become insecure that I'll lose them (and some of these crash and burns have scarred me with how ****ed up they've ended) \n\nI'm starting to lose hope I'll ever be able to be myself around any girl I really get feelings for, and even if I am they'll accept me. I've never had a relationship before and the constant failure is breaking me down. \n\nHow can I turn this around? how can I move past my failures and truly believe I'm enough and that I'll find that connection?", "summary": "Constantly get in my own head when dating, consistently fail at relationships, how can I believe in myself and believe that someday I'l find someone?"} {"id": "t3_1yufu6", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "Just a thought about being motivated to prove others wrong.", "post": "I've seen and heard many photos with quotes and sayings on proving people wrong and how that's motivating to keep reaching for whatever goals. Am I the only one who is not at all motivated by this? Frankly, I do not care for what people think of me [as in judgmental and/or ignorant criticism] and don't have much interest in competition. Rather, I aim to better myself from who I was yesterday.\n\nIf I were to try and prove people wrong with their judgments of me, I'd be steering in quite a different direction rather than focusing on improving myself and what I want to do. A direction that might just be harmful to me in the long run. \n\nUltimately, I think that it is not others you should prove wrong, but the inner voice that tells you how you aren't qualified or able to do what it is you want to do. So instead of aiming to prove others wrong, where one might indeed end up proving them wrong yet see themselves on a path they never truly desired, one can look from within. \n\nWe [probably] have all faced that inner voice that questions our own abilities and drivers to get us to where we want to be. I once heard an excerpt from Ayn Rand's *Philosophy: Who Needs It* and she wrote something along the lines of: Instead of questioning and doubting your abilities and competency, simply ask yourself what steps are necessary to take and what barriers need to be overcome in order to get to where to want to go. In other words, instead of doubting yourself in relation to your goal, focus only on what needs to be done to get to your goal.\n\nIn my humble opinion, I believe this is a truer method for self-satisfaction as opposed to proving others wrong.\n\nI am by no means trying to preach. I simply feel the 'proving others wrong' motto is good with intention but not so good in implementing.", "summary": "Prove yourself wrong with your greatness, limitless effort, and potential of success rather than proving others wrong by being fueled by their negative, judgmental, and ignorant notions of you."} {"id": "t3_2lcng8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my clingy Ex [18F] that lasted 1 month, just broke up a week ago. Don't know if break up was justified.", "post": "We are both 18 and in college, and live in the same dorm complex (not the same rooms though). I broke up with her because I felt like we went WAY too fast and she had way too much emotional attachment (there was a point at which I didn't feel attracted to her even). I didn't feel like she would change her clingy-ness much at the time.\n\nHowever, after a week of breakup, I've been reconsidering if she can change. Maybe it's just me missing her attention, or that I don't like being alone, but I'm now unsure if I overreacted about her emotional attachment and clingy-ness.\n\nWhat do you think /r/relationships? Should I reconsider the breakup or stick with my decision?", "summary": "Broke up with girlfriend since I felt she was too clingy and wouldn't change. However, I now feel like she might(?) be able to change. Did I over react?"} {"id": "t3_2qzxo3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by telling my girlfriend i kissed another girl last new years", "post": "Hello reddit, \ntoday, i fucked up big time by giving my girlfriend the worst new years eve present of all and throwing into question our whole relationship.\n\nHeres a little context:\nMe and my gf have been dating for almost 16 months, the whole time its been a relatively smooth and very productive relationship. We get along great, lots of physical attraction, the whole shebang. 1 month in I fucked another girl, felt really bad about it, told her and we were able to work through it. Every new years, my gf goes on vacation with her family, and last new years eve being at a party with some friends I gave another girl a new years eve kiss at midnight. Not thinking it was a big deal and not wanting to create drama, I never mentioned it. This whole relationship we've had pretty good communication and i've tried to always be truthful with her. Anyways, now heres the fuck up:\n\nShe calls me drunk from her vacation and everything is great as usual and we talk about a lot of things including our ideas of what love is and if i've hooked up with anybody since shes been gone (~2 weeks since we've seen each other). I haven't but said that i had been feeling very sexual and thought about fucking a girl i met last night. She then asks me to tell her a secret. In my infinite wisdom, i say last new years i pecked another girl for a midnight kiss and she instantly got really sad and angry. Now this throws the whole relationship into question for her and shes saying i should take the rest of the break off and hook up with who i want. I truly only want her, but it seems like im always doing stupid shit that makes it seem like i don't want her. Reddit wat do?", "summary": "Told my girl i gave a rando a peck last new years, she's pissed, i'm trying to fix things"} {"id": "t3_4fqbxf", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Nausea with CICO?", "post": "A little bit of background: 21 F, 5'7\", ~165. I've been \"casually\" dieting (making healthier choices & eating less) since November, but a little over a week ago I downloaded MFP and started CICO. I usually eat 1,110-1,200 calories, a little less on days when the nausea is bad. I don't know if it's relevant, but I also take a stimulant medication (prescribed by my doc) which suppresses my appetite for most of the day. \n\nSince starting CICO I've woken up incredibly nauseous every single morning. I've pretty much always had problems eating breakfast in the morning due to nausea, but it's much worse than it has been in the past, it lasts for hours. If I make myself eat breakfast before noon, I end up throwing it up (it's happened four times this week). But when I don't eat it seems like the nausea lasts well into the afternoon, making it hard to meet my caloric needs for the day. I've read it could be low blood sugar, but would that really affect me so strongly every single morning? I usually eat a snack two hours before I go to bed (10 pm). I've also read dehydration can cause it, which could be the case, but again, would it really be this bad/frequently? What can I do to stop this from happening?", "summary": "I'm nauseous most of the day since counting calories. Why? Did this happen to anyone else? What did you do about it?"} {"id": "t3_1bi8ny", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [32F] and my partner [35M] of seven years, are starting to fell the pressure to get married.", "post": "We've been together for almost seven years and we never felt the need to get married, we've bought a house together, a car, made financial decisions together and so on. We feel like a married couple, but our families and friends keep asking when we're going to get married, why we don't want to get married, want to know if we're having problems and things like that. We think marriage is really a huge thing, especially here (Italy), where getting a divorce takes at least 3 years and quite some money spending, besides that we wouldn't have problems getting married, but we talked about it and what came out of it was: if we never thought about it, there must be a reason. I'm scared we're going to rush trough it just because \"it's the right thing to do\" and it'll damage our relationship.", "summary": "Me and my partner feel the pressure to get married, I'm scared we are going to rush it to please others and it'll damage our relationship."} {"id": "t3_uq5ub", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What should I do? (car accident question)", "post": "Well, not really an accident per say (minimum damage)(not even to care itself). I backed up maybe 9 inches and barely touched this lady's car outside my house. No damage done to the car at all. She did have a very ugly chrome Nissan license plate on the front of the car. Barely pushed the plate back to where I could have fixed it by hand... The lady stormed out of her house all mad and asked how much money I had on me at the time...and said \"I guess i won't call the insurance). I looked up the license plate on the Nissan web site and it is 50 DOLLARS! I really don't want to pay for that piece of shit. What should I do reddit??", "summary": "Barely messed up a ladies front license plate, she tried to extort me, don't want to buy a new one."} {"id": "t3_25dpq6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [18 F] Over 1 1/2 Years; Am I Wrong For Wanting To Do This?", "post": "So I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half now. We are madly in love. I was her first kiss and we both have each others virginity so this is a very serious relationship. We block out other people from our relationship. By this i mean i am not aloud to talk to other girls, and she isn't aloud to talk to other guys. \n\nI dated a different girl earlier in high school and wasn't really a boyfriend to her, never really treated her as a girlfriend. I was a jerk to her. Now that i've kept a GF for so long, i know the ins and outs of a relationship. Is it wrong if I want to hang out with said ex? I was just thinking maybe one time. I've talked to her before, and my GF has freaked out, my GF hates my ex. So obviously she wouldn't know about it. But another problem presumes, i haven't talked to her for about 6 months because my GF has cut off all communications I had with her. The only way i could even ask if she'd hang out with me somewhere, is for me to make a fake facebook that my GF couldn't find.", "summary": "Is it wrong for me to want to take a girl out on one date to change her view about me while already in a committed and serious relationship? GF wouldn't knw about it."} {"id": "t3_3iogy0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(20M) Bumped into an old friend(20f) not sure if I might be crossing a line.", "post": "So I just started school in my home state and it turns out I have class with a really good friend from awhile back that ended, I would say painfully/unpleasantly.\n\nI met (20F) around middle schools and we became \"bf and gf\" (as much as that is in middle school) I like her a lot and even when we broke up we usually talked and hung out quite a bit. however one day I kinda just stopped talking to her, and even when she made quite explicit attempts to reconnect I ignored them ( this was around soph. year of high school). The reason being is that I had to change from my mother's house to my father's and he was extremely abusive. I felt like I didn't want to be around anyone one after that, I was convinced that I would hurt them and I was embarrassed about my home life. I used to be a really out-going charismatic and fun guy, but after living with my father for a short 2-3 years father's I was essentially dead inside. I could never even imagine having the time that I had had back then. thus I never tried to get back in touch. I pretty confident that I hurt her, however maybe she doesn't see it that way at all?\n\nWhen I saw her today, I said hi and gave her a hug, told her it was good to see her and got her number so we could keep in touch. However when class ended she left quickly and made no attempt to say anything. I'm not sure if it means nothing or not. I'd really like to just sit down with her and at least say sorry. I feel quite bad about it. I'd like to know how to best handle the situation, my plan was to call her and meet her for coffee around lunch sometime next week apologize and then hopefully catch up and maybe set a precedent for another meet.\nLet me know what you think, I appreciate it.", "summary": "bumped into an old friend and wondering if it would be rude to hope to become friends again because of what I did last time."} {"id": "t3_4tu3zw", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "My wife wants to use all our money to buy t-bills, as it holds basically no risk, and travel. Decent idea?", "post": "We've accrued roughly liquid about ~$2.75 million between the both of us and owe no property, no debt. If we were to use all of that money to buy t-bills, assuming a ~2% return with a yearly expiry, that's about $55,000usd a year in a very safe return. Does this make theoretical sense or am I missing something?\n\nWe'll then use this money very frugally to sustain us as travel a bit and live in a few countries (mostly SE asia). \n\nIs this a decent idea? We both are pretty strongly against investing all our savings in any kinds of funds or anything that isn't as safe, very risk adverse. Don't think there is anything as safe as t-bills(?). Even investing in index funds/etc, etc. We don't want a 5% return or 7% return or etc if that means we have to up the risk. We are happy with 2%. \n(as an aside, we would just go to the bank and literally buy them there and have them hold it for us?)", "summary": "we want the safest return for our money, seems to be t-bills, want to use the interest from it very frugally abroad. Am I missing something major or something? Don't want to get blindsided."} {"id": "t3_zft1b", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Should I Wait?", "post": "I'm a nineteen year old male and there's this girl that I work with, who's the same age as me, that I like, but the situation is kind of weird. After talking and flirting a bit and getting to know her more, I asked her if she would like to go out sometime (well not asked, I said that we should go out sometime). After I asked her out, she said she was going to think about it. Alright, I thought to myself, thinking she was going to say no, I figured that I should suck it up and move on.\n\nSo she sends me a text later saying that she doesn't have an answer for me yet and needs some time because she likes this other guy, but isn't sure if he likes her back. From what she told me, they've been hanging out for the summer, though I don't know if the guy likes her or not. I'm thinking that he doesn't because 1, obviously I don't want the other guy to get her, and 2, if nothing has happened after hanging out for the summer, maybe he only likes her as a friend.\n\nI think she likes me as well, though, since she hasn't really said no and we're pretty flirty with each other when we're at work. I know that I'm the plan b right now and I'm not going to wait around forever (I've done that before >.>), but this girl is pretty cool and I like her a bunch, so is it worth waiting a little bit more? Should I just ask her who she's going to pick, me or him?", "summary": "19 year old me likes girl, girl likes other guy but doesn't know if he likes her back. I'm girl's plan b, should I wait or just leave?"} {"id": "t3_3vghdb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[17 M] in a 3 week relationship with my GF [17F] I'm not feeling the connection and want to end it but I learned through a friend she's bought me (very) expensive X-Mas gifts and is having some emotional trouble, what do I do?", "post": "Ok so me and (lets call her) Lily have been dating for three weeks but hanging out for awhile before that. We're young and stupid so people (including) her are acting like we're soul mates already but honestly? I'm really not feeling it, our conversations are the exact same every time (we have like 3 topics we rotate between; music she likes, cheesy pickup lines and family guy. :| ), we have no real shared interests, different outlooks on life and the things I see as cringe worthy, petty or naff she finds hilarious, important and emotional. She's a very nice person and has all the best intentions but I just don't see any real connection and she obviously does. \n\nMy plan was, obviously, to end the relationship. I've got an important week coming up next week with some University Interviews and the such and I decided I wanted it done by then, to have it out of my mind, so I was planning on doing it tomorrow. Yesterday, however, I pissed her off (turned down an offer to go hang out at hers after school because I had prior arrangements with friends, which I think is reasonable, right?) and she's been bouncing between depression and extreme niceness since.\n\nI then found out from a mutual friend that she's bought me an expensive festival ticket for Christmas AND today she's been extra, extra nice, throwing compliments at me and just told me she's bought me another present. She keeps talking about the future and I'm trying to deflect but its really hard to not accidentally reveal anything over text and stay honest. :|\n\nI really don't want to hurt her too badly but its clear to me that she's already very attached, in a relatively brittle emotional state and she's invested a lot of money in a gift she probably won't be able to get money back on.\n\nI feel cornered and my friends are all as useless as I am, any pointers?\n\nCheers.", "summary": "Short term relationship not working out, girlfriend clearly super into it and has bought me lots of expensive gifts, how to proceed from here?"} {"id": "t3_3ojxne", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [19 M/F] falling for my best friend [19 M/F] [non-romantic?]", "post": "I'll try to make this short and sweet by explaining all the important facts. Also, sorry if I flaired wrong. I didn't know where to put this under\n\nWe've been friends for roughly a year or so and met through an online game. We've never met because he lives in a different country, but we will see each other for the first time this Christmas break while I'm staying at my relatives house. \n\nWe talked about how we would have sex with one another if the other was sexually frustrated in our early stages of our newfound friendship. We also talked about how if we were in a relationship, I would probably turned off by his affection because he's apparently extremely affectionate. I don't know what he's in a relationship, but I did agree that I'm totally not into mush but I do feel loved and appreciate it. This was about 2 months in our friendship and at the time, my feelings for him were platonic. \n\nI plan to meet him first in person before I confess anything to him. I'm not even sure if I'll confess to him in person. All I really want to do when I meet him is to enjoy his company... in the same country.. and in the same timezone.. I don't know when we will have this opportunity again. I'm not afraid to tell him and worry that our relationship will go down in shambles. Yes, there is a possibility that it will get awkward, but I don't think it would be a big deal since we'd talk it through. If we can't get past the awkwardness, then what's done is done is it wasn't meant to be.\n\nWhat I'm nervous about is that the guys I've liked in the past have liked me first and dropped hints. This is my first time liking someone without knowing if the feeling is mutual. It doesn't help that I'm a little dense in the romance department so it takes a bit for me to catch hints... if I even catch them.\n\nNote: we both understand the difficulties that come along with being in a long distance relationship as we have both been in one.", "summary": "falling for best friend and I'm nervous because it's the first time I don't know if my feelings are being reciprocated"} {"id": "t3_js5ry", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "All mixed up", "post": "Alright reddit, I need someone to help me figure out why I can't get my mind to ease up. \n\nI'll start off where everything hit the fan: the beginning of college. \n\nI was with a girl for years before college, and she was great. Nothing about her was terribly wrong and we had some history as kids, so it was cute. None the less, I went off to college and she stayed back home because she still had some highschool left. We had talked about it, and with me living at college it would be too difficult to come home every weekend. Mainly due to the whole money thing. So, we break it off well until I find out she started dating my best friend literally days after we broke it off. It hurt. A lot.\n\nSo second part begins after this. I start dating a girl soon after and become quickly attached. This girl opened my eyes to certain things I hadn't really known, and I love that about new people. We had some differing opinions on smoking pot, and in general just smoking cigarettes due to my ability to just game away my stress. She however felt the need to smoke and blah blah blah. Little side note here, I was her basically true first boyfriend due to VERY strict Greek parents. So, she had a but to learn about talking things out. None the less, she was great up until the second semester began. She became distant, depressed, and a sudden claustrophobia had kicked in from absolutely no where. We tried to talk it out, and I was the most leniant i've ever been to try and keep her around, but to no avail. \n\nMy confused thoughts are this fellow relationshipers:\n*I still feel attached to girl 1. her whole family misses me, and ikes me more the better current guy(heh). \n*I still feel attached to girl 2, even though we only dated a short time and she was becoming psychologically more unstable as the days went on.", "summary": "I still have feelings for an ex I left year ago who's dating my ex best friend, and this other girl from college even though she's a bit more unstable. "} {"id": "t3_53q8u8", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by stepping on a bee's nest", "post": "This all happened while i was at work today; I am employed by a utility company and often have to go to rural locations to perform maintenance on transmission towers. Around lunch time i had to take a wiz and walked towards the tree line for some shade. During my piss i started getting swarmed by mosquitoes and took a step back, apparently crunching a ground nest. This caused the hive to start stinging me all over my arms mid piss (luckily i pulled my pants up in time to avoid stings to the danger zone). I tried running back to the truck and ended up dragging the bees to my co-workers and most of them got stung pretty badly as well. my foreman was the only one in the work truck and didn't get stung so he had to drive us all the the nearest drugstore an hour away so we could all get some benadryl.", "summary": "stepped on a ground nest while taking a piss, pissed all over my pants, got all my coworkers and myself stung a bunch of times by angry bees."} {"id": "t3_4spn5j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19M] sister [14F] told me that she has an embarrassing problem that our parents haven't done anything for. I took her to see a doctor and parents are upset.", "post": "So last week my sister called me and asked me to come over when our parents aren't home and she has something important to tell me. I went there and she told me that it's embarrassing but basically when she goes to toilet to have number 2 it's very painful. I asked if she's talked to our parents and she said they don't believe her. She asked me to take her to the doctor. So I booked an appointment for her and took her this Monday. Luckily her issue is not as serious as it is painful and hopefully she'll be fine soon.\n\nSo somehow our parents learned and are upset that I took her to the doctor without their permission. They say this is me interfering with their parenting. That I'm old enough to make decisions for myself but not to make them for my sister. I really think this is dumb. I mean she's 14 so she can technically go to the doctor herself. She just asked me to drive her there and be there because she was a little afraid. I also think it's stupid for whatever reason to not take her to the doctor when she's not feeling well. Parents say she has a history of calling in sick for no reason and that's why they didn't believe her.\n\nSo right now she's grounded for going behind their back by involving me and I'm also banned from seeing her for a while because I went behind our parents back by taking her to the doctor without their permission. They expect me to apologize and promise that this won't happen again but really I in good conscience can't do that because if she asks me again to take her to the doctor I will. But I think they're just going to be mad at me and will ban me until I somehow tell them that I was wrong by doing that.\n\nHow I can handle it?", "summary": "I took my sister to the doctor because our parents refused to, and they're now mad at me that I did and they expect me to apologie and promise that I'll never do it again."} {"id": "t3_3snj3i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is my ex[25 F] immature? I'm [22 M]", "post": "When we got together I was desperate for a relationship and a friend gave me the bad advice that she was looking for one. We got together, I found out she had a boyfriend that she was breaking up with(long relationship), we end up dating anyway, even though I noticed a few red flags I didn't bother since I was a cloud of fluffy misery and despair. After more than a month she breaks up with me (I felt bad inside but I was giving a lot of positive energy and was smiling a lot with her, genuinely I felt happy with her). So we break up because apparently she isn't ready for a new relationship, I am just too perfect and a sin so she can't be with me nor sleep with me. \n\nNow after her I was heartbroken, because of a lot of things. Thanks to a wonderful friend I was able to change my thinking a bit and turned more positive, and actually started looking and feeling good. Next thing I know I get a miles long message from her like how she saw me in the club and didn't know if it was me or not and she wanted to say hi but I disappear and so she couldn't say hi. \nI replied and we talked a bit but then she started to act like a b and answered my messages very sarcastic, and like always our discussion ends with sex talk where in the end she says she wants me really bad but can't do it because I am a sin and she couldn't allow that to herself. I stopped talking to her since then. \n\nIs it just me or does she act childish? \nShould I just ignore her the next time she sends me a message?", "summary": "My ex tells me I am perfect and that she wants to do me all night long, then changes her mind and calls me a sin and a teaser when she actually starts the topic. So should I ignore her from now on?"} {"id": "t3_1yt336", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Update: My [25 M] girlfriend [23 F] of close to 2 years, is sending videos of herself to other men. She \"tried\" to kill herself.", "post": "Here's the original [post](\n\nI decided to end it with her after reading all the responses and coming to a sound conclusion in my own thoughts.\n\nShe had said in the past that she would kill herself if our relationship ended. I didn't take her seriously, even though I knew she had actually attempted in the past over a break up. She took pills, but her ex called the police.\n\nThis is all so new to me. I didn't know this is how people reacted, but I guess I can understand. After I told her that I wanted to break up, and after her many pleas of asking for forgiveness, she got up and grabbed a knife. She leaned against a wall to apply pressure with the knife so it would cut her. This didn't do any real damage, but enough to make me restrain her.\n\nI honestly didn't know what to do. She kept looking around for shit to try and kill herself with so I just caved. I told her that I am willing to try again if she seeks therapy, so we started looking for therapists. \n\nI know this is fucked up. I know that I shouldn't have caved. This is my first relationship; my first time dealing with anything like this. I care about her and the fact that she did agree to the therapy makes me want to stay and see her through. But it's still fucked up, I know.\n\nHas anyone else gone through this? How did you deal with it? If she doesn't get therapy then I will end it, but how do I stop her from trying to kill herself if the time comes? I don't want her to die because of this. I can't trust her not drive herself into oncoming traffic if I tell her to leave. Do I call 911?", "summary": "Tried to breakup with girlfriend; she tried to kill herself. She agreed to therapy, but if she doesn't do it and I break up with her again, how do I deal with the likely possibility that she'll harm herself?"} {"id": "t3_26r9lp", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Mind your surroundings...", "post": "Was doing my weekly shopping at a local grocery store picking up single persons food items. I've got 15-20 items but the lady in front of me has half a basket but is price-checking 2-3 items, couponing, writing a check and basically going the Olympic distance on being the longest checkout time ever. Finally a manger opens up another lane just to serve me and the people behind me its taking that long. \n\nI didn't have any particular place to be but it was the principle of it. *sigh* \n\nI leave the store and do another errand before stopping at another store on the way home for fruits and veggies (freshest and best in town. Everyone shops there). Low and behold, slowest-checkout-lady-ever is wrapping up her shopping and heading to the checkout line. As I only had a few items, I beat her to the line by a few steps. The cashier rings me up and I have an outdated, canceled CC in my wallet. (I was lazy and forgot to remove it) I attempt to pay with it and take my sweet-ass time wondering why it won't work. \"*But there's money in my account! I swear!*\" \nI easily take 5-7 minutes of this ladies time (much to her annoyance) as I finally switch cards and it works perfectly. In her cart was icecream... I felt soft served melted vengeance was mine that day.", "summary": "Lady at grocery store checkout takes a ridiculously long time at store#1 only to have me do the same thing to her at store#2."} {"id": "t3_exfqp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can someone please help me find a PA job in Los Angeles?", "post": "This is a complete shot in the dark, but I'm bordering on desperate so here goes:\n\nIf any redditors in the L.A. area need a PA, please please consider me. I'm a college grad with lots of multi-media knowhow (AVID, FinalCut, CS4) and I need steady work badly. I had a temp job with Google that lasted 2 years, and I assumed (wrongly) that it would look good enough on a resume to land me another job. I'm running on empty, I moved back home and it's clearly becoming a financial strain on my parents. I'll work infinite hours, and work hard. I'll start at the bottom and work my way through smiling. I have no ego, I have no attitude. I just want to work, earn enough to move back out, and get my life going. \nThanks to anyone who takes the time to read this.", "summary": "I'm running out of options and I need work, I'll work infinite hours, I'll be happy to do just about anything. And once I have the ability, I will plan to pay it forward to another redditor."} {"id": "t3_y3cvt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Do you have any interesting stories of malingering?", "post": "An old supervisor of mine has anxiety/depression and is also a closet homosexual. Needless to say he goes to see medical professionsals a lot. I'm not going to say he's malingering on purpose but he only works 2 days a week because he isn't required to work on days he has therapy. In my opinion he is unfit for duty and should go work somewhere he can relax a bit more and be himself. We've talked about it and he thinks it would eliminate the source of a lot of his stresses. However collecting a decent paycheck with full benefits and paid vacation and being 5 years from full retirement benefits he's deciding to \"hang in there\"\n\nI can't say I blame him really because Im sure he does suffer from some OCD/anxiety and it would be really hard to be gay in our work culture but having worked for him and being friends I know there is a certain amount of embellishment. But the fact that before his latest episode that caused him to go to therapy three times a week he would often take weeks off at a time due to issues too sensitive to question. Admittedly I'm a little jealous and wish I could work the system in such a way. Still I am hesitant to fully point the finger on the slight chance that it really is as bad as his medical history claims but I can't help but be skeptical.\n\n/rant", "summary": "former supervisor has plethora of mental illness and is repressed homosexual. as a result barely works but maintains 100% entitlements. I'm sort of skeptical and jealous."} {"id": "t3_3bn9tn", "subreddit": "running", "title": "How long will it take me to go from running ~15mpw now to a 3:45 marathon sometime in the near future?", "post": "I run casually right now but I really want to run a marathon at 3:45 someday. I ran chicago two years ago at 5:15 and I know this seems like a huge difference but that previous marathon was done on very little training (I wasn't as dedicated to training as I should've been). Now I want to make this happen and am feeling much more motivated to stick to a solid plan. \n\nI don't want to get hurt so I don't plan on trying to make this happen this year but how long do you guys think I need to base build before I can train for a race time like this? And what type of training plan worked for people that finished at this time?", "summary": "I'm a 26yo F who is currently at ~15 mpw looking to someday (ideally in the nearish future) run a 3:45 marathon, looking for advice/tips please!"} {"id": "t3_2o82g3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] random paranoia about future spouse's sexual compatibility?", "post": "Basically I've only really had one boyfriend. He was great and we broke up a few months ago for other random reasons not important. Anyway, we never had sex or anything but when we made out and such I could just tell he is great sexually.\n\nEven both of us we just matched up really well and were into the same stuff. I know that if in the future if we were to marry (I'm saving for marriage) we would have really great sex lives and he be a great partner.\n\nBut now I'm randomly paranoid that whoever I do marry (no likely to be said ex) isn't going to be great sexually. I guess that's fine but you know.... I'd prefer to have sex. I'm just afraid I'll meet a guy who completely perfect in every way but he'll be terrible or we won't be compatible like I was with my ex.\n\nIt's not a pressing matter but I just wanted to see other people's opinions and thoughts on the matter. Anyone else feel this way, have this happen, or any advice? Thanks!", "summary": "Ex and I were sexually compatible. Now I fear my future spouse and I won't be and it'll be terrible. Random fear. Thoughts from you guys?"} {"id": "t3_2fby9j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [24 M] just end things with my gf [22 F]? How do you avoid jealousy?", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. She is heading off to to study abroad, and I won't see her for more than a week until roughly May.\n\nWe lived together this summer and I love her. But we also have done the long distance thing before (for about 4 months) and I found myself resenting her a bit last Spring because I saw her so infrequently, while at the same time several girls were acting flirtatious towards me.\n\nNow, I think I have gotten over that, but obviously I don't know how I will feel in a few months time. So I'm looking at my choices and...\n\n1) Stay with her. I want to do this right now, but I'm scared that January/February will roll around and I will regret not breaking things off while we both were kind of on the same page about that sort of thing (we have talked a lot and she knows that it's a possibility that I can't do LTR again)\n\n2) Break up with her now. Obviously I don't want to do this, but if I need to, better to do it now than drag things out.\n\n3) OR..\n\nHas anyone EVER downgraded an exclusive relationship to a break, and then get back together? Like, with communication, could both parties sleep with other people and still remain a couple? Or is that bound for disaster?\n\nI should mention that I tend to get a bit jealous. Is there a way I could work on this to somehow be ok with her sleeping with other people? Like any mental tricks to help overcome the jealousy? I miss talking to her so much, but I don't know if it would be healthy to keep talking to her like my gf while we are both sleeping with others (sleeping, not dating).\n\nThoughts?", "summary": "GF is studying abroad for the better part of a year, and then finishing up school. Stay with her, break up, or hope that a \"break\" works out?"} {"id": "t3_1xq5tt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Having issues at work, need advice how to handle it or if I am in the wrong", "post": "I was hoping this year would start off well, started working out and tried to get in better shape.\n\nThings did not go as planned. Working out let to severe chest pain, my doctor ran a bunch of tests and concluded its costochondritis, basically he does not know why I have pain. Pretty much told me to take pain reliever and rest it out. Pain would come and go, then one morning I could barely move my hand without flinching. So I took day off. Next day I came in to work but she told me to go home and rest after a while.\n\nPain gradually subsided but led way to asthma. I have not had asthma for years. Back to doctor, he gave me inhaler, was late at work. Then this week again I barely slept sunday night and told her I will be in late. I came in late around 11 and left at 5. \n\nSo yesterday she sat me down and told me how this was performance impacting and she was giving me a soft warning for the upcoming reviews. She admitted I have not missed any timelines, but cause I am hitting all of them while taking this time I must not be working upto potential. She told me maybe I should consider using my PTO and sorting out health issues.\n\nI do most of the complicated analysis at work. Anything complicated is thrown my way with a day or two deadlines. I understand I have been not in at work as much. But technically I just took a day off and was late here and there cause of appointments. What are my options here besides quitting. We get our bonus payout in a month.", "summary": "Manager gave a bad feedback as I have been sick quite a bit since beginning of this year, told me this is a soft warning."} {"id": "t3_ml3iy", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My brother is aggressive, secretive, disrespects parents, and becoming notorious for selling hard drugs. It's destroying my family, help?", "post": "I heard from an acquaintance that my brother is a well-known dealer. Now, he's underage (17), but he often orders weird substances over the internet, and has huge vats of substances sitting in his room, which he then boils off when he thinks we're all asleep. \n\nMy parents are probably in denial, and we're really in debt, so they don't have the energy to deal with us screwing up like this. When my mom finally worked up the nerve to approach him about it, in a very gentle way, he blew up, and starting throwing things around the house and yelling that we don't trust him. Before he stormed into his room, he spit a loogie in the hallway and told her to \"fuck off\", just to give you an example of how disrespectful and ungrateful he can be. \n\nHe has a job (which my father got him), but is a high school drop out (despite my mother making every effort to get him back, or home school him, at least). My parents pay for all his food (he won't even eat things around the house, he constantly asks us to pick up take-out on the way home, at our expense), internet, clothes, etc. He just *doesn't get anything done*, unless it's illegal junk like this. \n\nWhat would you do, reddit? We're a good, middle-class family, we all work hard, why is he so bent on making life difficult for himself? We're all at wit's end with him, but he just doesn't have the respect for us, or enough fear for the consequences (of being kicked out, or sent to juvi, etc), to even *try* to get his act together. He can get violent, arrogant, and manipulative, and he's destroying my family.", "summary": "Brother is high school drop-out making/selling hard drugs, gets violent when approached about it, and has zero respect for our own family. Help, *please*."} {"id": "t3_496vq3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How should I [26/M] break it to possible new girlfriend [28/F] I suffer from premature ejaculation?", "post": "I've recently ended a relationship of seven years because things were not working out anymore. We lived together for almost 4 years, were incredibly comfortable with each other and knew everything there was to know about each other. \n\nAs you could guess from my post, I 'suffer' from sever premature ejaculation and I'm ashamed by it. I usually ejaculate within 10 seconds of intimacy. My previous girlfriend [29/F] and I had some tricks up our sleeves to bypass this; use Durex Performa condoms, get drunk or use Promescent. That last one I haven't really tried. I bought this moments before our relationship went downhill so didn't have the chance to try it.\n\nNow there's this woman [28/F] I'm hanging out with lately and I have the feeling there's mutual interest but we're just having fun at this point. We haven't even kissed but there's flirting going on... Now if this evolves into something more ... how should I break it to her I suffer from premature ejaculation? Let's say we have a fun night and we end up in bed and I ejaculate after only 10 seconds (or even during foreplay) the mood may be ruined...\n\nShould I just tell her beforehand and suggest to use Durex Performa/Promescent or make sure I am drunk the first time? I've been out of the game for over seven years so I don't know how this works.", "summary": "Flirting with woman after having a relationship of seven years. Not sure how she should find out about my premature ejaculation if things between us progress..."} {"id": "t3_44yl8a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend's [M28] touch no longer feels good and he's lost desire for sex with me [F23]. Help!", "post": "We've been together for about two years, largely long distance with semi-monthly visits and some longer periods (2+ months) being together. We've been poly/non-monogamous the entire time, and I have another boyfriend (of 1 year now), he has some casual partners.\n\nLately, things feel very shaky between us. \nWe still appreciate and support each other a lot, and there's a lot of affection and humour and enjoying each other's presence, but there appears to be at least three problems:\n\n- He doesn't want sex with me anymore (but does still have sex with others, we're non-monogamous) - if I initiate he might have sex with me, but doesn't come or seem to enjoy it\n\n- Somehow his hugs and kisses, that used to make me feel euphoric, now often has me feeling indifferent or even annoyed sometimes, especially if I'm trying to focus on something else\n\n- He doesn't understand the depression that has crept up on me in the past 3/4 year; the idea of being sad for no particular reason or just because of a general sense of lostness is totally incomprehensible for him, and the lack of understanding feels like a wall between us. When I can't muster up any enthusiasm for any particular activity, he feels rejected and helpless.\n\nTo deal with the last point I've tried explaining the feelings I'm having (without much success) and found him some resources for how to deal with a depressed partner and understand symptoms, hoping it might sink in eventually. For the other two points, I feel completely at a loss as to how to fix it...does anyone have any advice or experiences to share about this kind of situation? It hurts quite a bit and feels very scary", "summary": "Suddenly I no longer get happy when my boyfriend touches and kisses me. He also doesn't want sex with me (specifically). What do?"} {"id": "t3_4euu45", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting my bike was fixed.", "post": "This happened this morning but started yesterday. I took my bike in to the shop because it wasn't shifting. I talked with the mechanic a bit and mentioned that I needed to tighten my brakes, but hadn't had the chance yet. He offered to do it for me and I agreed. I went to pick it up this morning. I rode down the block to catch the train since it was raining. As I started to reach the end of the block, I squeezed the brakes to slow down. Both of them. Next thing I knew I had slammed into the ground and my bike landed on top of me. I hurt my shoulder and knee pretty bad and got road rash on my arm. Not to mention I got soaked from the rain. I got my head hard against the cement but luckily I had the good sense to put my helmet on so I didn't get a traumatic brain injury. Remember to wear a helmet kids, if only to save yourself from your own dumbassery.", "summary": "got my brakes tightened at the shop. Squeezed them too hard and flipped my bike. Didn't die because I wore a helmet."} {"id": "t3_4krdmu", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Laundromat ripped me off.", "post": "So this is half a fuck up, half a question which I hope this is the right place to post. It happened over a week ago, last Saturday to be exact. \n\n I decided to do my laundry at the local Laundromat, which uses a card system. So with a $30 load, I insert my card and a $50 bill into the machine, only to find it added $1 to my card. Furious I told the girl about it (who, long side story, had actually seen me with the $50). She calls her manager, they talk, she tells me she will take my number and they will call me once the weekend is over. (claims the manager will have to check the machine for the $50)\n\n Monday (last week) rolls around and i go there asking about my $50 and I get the same tale, this time from another associate (manager hasn't been in yet, bla bla bla). It has been a full week since then and still no call. Am I screwed? should i go and bitch at her everyday? Or should i just call it a loss and move on.", "summary": "laundromat took my $50 from a card reader and told me they would call me. Still haven't called over a week later."} {"id": "t3_41a0o8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M with my gf [29 F] little ver 3 years, not sue what to do. break up or contnue", "post": "I'm in the is relationships a littler over 3 years now, and i'm not sure what to do anymore. She's an amazing person and a great friend, but ive been finding myself asking wether or not I want to continue this or if we should go our separate ways. We've definitely had some rocky points in our relationship. She's been telling me that she doesn't feel like I am as attentive or give her the attention/ affection that she wants, and that i've been increasingly cold towards her. \n\nAdmittedly I do feel some reluctancy to continue things with her. It's gotten pretty rough with our work schedules, i work mon-fri 9-5, she works at a restaurant 5 nights a week, especially every weekened. We don't really see each other like we used to. It seems like we are fighting regularly, not every day, but maybe every week there is something, and it usually comes to us talking about being together. We've almost broken up a few times now.\n\nShe is a great person, and I think she would make an incredible partner, but I think I'm afraid of committing here. I can't tell if it's because I want this to be over, or if it's the fear of committing to a single person for the rest of my life. I'm not sure I am ready to do that yet, and it's not fair to her to keep around because we are comfortable or whatever. Feels like our break up has been looming for a little while now.\n\nI also have this fear of losing her and regretting it later. I don't know what to do anymore. This isn't getting any better, and my indecisiveness is really taking a toll on our relationship. I want her to be happy, just not sure it's with me and if I'm just preventing myself, and our relationship from being happy or if it is just over and we are dragging it out.\n\nwe've been through a lot, she has suffered with depression and biplar disorder, and I used to be jealous. It's gotten better but I believe it' definitely taken a toll on our relationship, and how we feel towards one another.", "summary": "Been in a relationship with gf for 3 years, and not sure what to do, if should break up or stay together."} {"id": "t3_d3zfv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Do you think its fair for me to ask my girlfriend to stop drinking if she wants me to stop smoking marijuana?", "post": "I have been smoking weed for the past few years almost daily, with a few weeks off here and there. I have had a steady job and am living comfortably with money, a car, and everything else I need. In other words, I feel I am a functioning 'pothead'. My girlfriend (of a couple weeks) is pretty opposed to me smoking marijuana and wants me to stop. Unfortunately she also has a habit (lately, at least because of summer) of going out drinking 3-5 times a week. Each time getting drunk... not completely wasted, but still too drunk to drive. Which is where I come in, I'm usually high but not drunk at all by the time we leave. Inevitably I end up driving people home. \n\nANYWAYS, do you think it'd be over the top to say something to the effect of: \"I'm opposed to you getting drunk and would like you to stop.\" ? I'm not trying to start an argument but I can't think of another way to get my point across. One idea is for me to just not drink at all when we go out, save a beer or two, and instead occasionally hit my cigarette-pipe outside unnoticed. I told her how many people have died from smoking weed and she didn't really believe me... Maybe I could educate her.\nAny advice on how to convince her I'm alright?", "summary": "New gf wants 3 year weed smoker to stop, but new gf likes to get drunk a lot. Advice?"} {"id": "t3_2rwxch", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[26M] Girlfriend [22F] just got in a fight about me being on my phone while she's naked?", "post": "So she doesn't feel comfortable with me pointing the back of my phone at her while she is naked. I'm just on the internet, not in the camera app, and in a normal, relaxed position (the way I was sitting, it wasn't like I was pointing it at her to make it look like I was taking a picture).\n\nI don't think it's about trust, I think she really believes that I wouldn't take a picture of her without her consent.\n\nShe believes that there is a (she admits 'less than .5%') chance of somehow a picture being taken of her and uploaded to the internet without the phone user's control. Obviously this is theoretically possible, and I agree with her that it is possible although I think it's a muchhhh smaller chance than she thinks. \n\nSo the fight happened because I refused initially to not point the camera at her (again, my phone is huge so it's hard not to face her and be on my phone and have it look like the camera is not pointing at her). I put up a fight about it because I felt that her reasoning (especially if she trusts me) was ridiculous.\n\nFor what it's worth, we've been dating three years and this exact thing has never come up. I've known she's not comfortable getting an indecent picture taken especially on a cell phone, but it's never come up that I can't point a phone at her while using it while she is naked.\n\nSo should I just accept that she has this (what I think is weird) thing about phones and her naked and try to be careful about where the phone points in the future so that she is comfortable?", "summary": "GF believes the chance of pictures being remotely taken and uploaded from my phone without my control is high enough for her to not feel comfortable with me being on my phone and pointed towards her direction when she's naked."} {"id": "t3_1f48uf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Being jealous or just setting the rules? [15F] and [16M]", "post": "So this is my first true relationship I guess you can say, and I kind of have a problem. So my girlfriend decides to go to her friends out and hang out with a group of her friends. That group has 5 people counting her. 3 Girls counting her and 2 guys. The 2 other guys have a record of having a \"crush\" on her. So she goes over to their house and they start \"messing around\" and they all begin to violently wrestle and fight over a computer to play tetris (yeah don't ask me). \n\nNow is this crossing the line? That my girlfriend is wrestling with 2 other guys that have had recent crushes on her? Am I just being jealous or is she crossing the line. She said she was sorry, and I'm really uneasy about it. She's been put as flirt before. I realize some people say \"If you can't trust them you shouldn't be with them.\" this is the first incident so far. I'm giving her a chance to prove herself, so I've pushed other peoples opinions away and given her a chance. We're fairly new by the way about 1 month which is tomorrow. Which we are spending the day together tomorrow.\n\nNow the philosophy I said to her was \"If I wrestled with other girls you wouldn't like it.\" so she agreed. Whatever she does that she wouldn't like me doing then she shouldn't be doing. Should any trust be lost?", "summary": "Girlfriend goes to a friends house. She wrestles with 2 guys who both have had recent crushes with her. What should I do? Punish? Trust issues? Any suggestions on what I should say to her later tonight?"} {"id": "t3_1k869u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[25M/] broke up with my now ex-gf [23M/F] of 3 years. I have both our concert tickets that we talked about going to for months. Thinking about sending her a ticket.", "post": "I bought two tickets a few months ago for a concert that is taking place in september. We were both incredibly excited for this show and counted down the days until we go together. Unfortunately, shit hit the fan and it ended up in a pretty bad breakup. It's been about a week since I have spoken to her and I just don't know what to do. By reading through this subreddit, I have taken note that I should cut off all contact with her. But I mean I got these two tickets which breaks my heart. She knows I have them and she's been wanting to go for about 9 months now. I really don't want to be the dick that screws her over to not going. \n\n1) I miss her a lot but we both hurt each other by saying some hurtful things and yelling at each other. What do I do? Call back? Write a letter?\n\n2) Do I send her ticket so she can go to the concert? \n\nIt's all so weird because I don't know what our relationship status is and I really want to give this ticket to her and wish we were back to the good old days. But at the same time, this past argument really made things shaky on the stability of the relationship.\n\nAny advice would be appreciated.", "summary": "broke up with girlfriend. Have her concert ticket that we both wanted to go to for months. Do I try to mend the relationship or just give her a ticket as a friendly gesture?"} {"id": "t3_2igk0x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I was an asshole to my roommate. Ways to resolve? F(21)", "post": "I live in some pretty awful housing at a seasonal job. Everyone here lives in dorms. I drank too much last night (my fault), and I ended up bringing back a guy that I've been hooking up with. I brought over a couple friends, and we made food. I didn't expect anything to happen, but one friend went home and the other one passed out. \n\nOne thing led to another and me and the guy were making out on the couch in the living room. My guy friend was sleeping on the couch and it was awkward, so we moved into my room. I share a room, as does everyone else. We ended up having sex in the room and she woke up towards the end when he was about to leave and she screamed at him.\n\nI know I should NOT have done that, and I do feel really bad about it. I'm not going to blame the alcohol, I know it's my fault. I woke up this morning and straight away went to find her and I had a really sincere apology to give her but she told me she didn't want to talk to me. \n\nI do think she's being a bit hypocritical. When she was interested in a guy, I ended up sleeping at a friends house that night so that she could have the room to herself. When I came back the next morning, they hadn't had sex yet, so I went to my room to sleep. They ended up coming in and I could hear them making out/fingering as I was trying to sleep. I know they didn't have sex, but they made an equivalent amount of noise.", "summary": "I messed up and had sex with my roommate in the room. I tried to apologize but she isn't having it. I'm moving out in a week and will never see her again, but still want to make things right."} {"id": "t3_25xxt5", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by racing on electric go-karts.", "post": "Last Friday (May 16th), I went on an end of the year field trip. I went because I thought there was an actual go kart track and all. When we showed up, it was a small track for electric karts. I was slightly disappointed, but hell, I can still have fun. So I hop in the kart and wait to go. Slowly, one by one, we left the pit. The light turned green and we started to race. All was well until someone spun out and the attendant stopped the karts with the controller. Only thing is, one kart failed to stop in time and slammed into my kart. I jolted forward and thought nothing of it. Later on, I went to work and noticed a pain. I went home and told my mom, causing her to kick in to nurse mode. She told me that I have a very minor case of whiplash. So I got to lay around on over the counter pain killers and totally forgot to study for my final today. Now I'm stuck on reddit, studying for a final, and trying to block the pain out for now.", "summary": "Went go-kart racing, got rear-ended, found out I have whiplash, laid around and didn't study for final because I laid around doing nothing."} {"id": "t3_nci8v", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Xmas Sacrifice \"Lesson\" - parental guidance required", "post": "A friend told me about a family Christmas tradition where they ask their children to give up one gift off their \"wish-list\" in exchange for putting that money towards a charity. This seemed like a great idea so I attempted it with my 5 year old daughter and it didn't go that well. Instead of letting her pick, I suggested a toy castle she wants (and already has a couple similar) and in exchange, suggested we buy a less fortunate family a goat through a charity site.\n\nIt turned out to be a far more challenging decision for her to make than I anticipated and it took lots of explaining and tears. Turns out she really wanted that castle. She finally made the right choice and reluctantly agreed. However in hindsight I feel like it was too intense of a request to ask from a 5 year old, that maybe I was too pushy and generally I feel like crap about the whole thing. By the time she went to bed I think she was feeling good about her decision and it hasn't come up again.\n\nNow I have two choices: 1) Complete the \"lesson\", stick to my plan and just not buy it. \u00a0The charity is sending a card with a picture of the goat I was going to put under the tree for thanks. 2). \"Reward\" her kind act by still buying the castle and say its from Santa and he decided to give to her because he was \"so impressed with her generous act\". Thus still making her extremely happy and surprised Xmas morning.\n\nNeedless to say she is getting other toys she requested Xmas morn.\n\nSuggestions?", "summary": "I asked my daughter to donate a Christmas gift so we can put that money towards charity. Now I feel guilty and wonder if I still buy the gift as a \"reward\" or stick to the \"lesson\"."} {"id": "t3_4x5zco", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [31/f] boyfriend [35/m] is the worst at receiving gifts.", "post": "I've been with my boyfriend about a year and a half. Best relationship of my life, I'm happy and loved. But he is the worst about receiving gifts and I keep getting my feelings hurt.\n\nChristmas 2015 was the first real gift giving occasion we ran into. I gave a thoughtful, but inexpensive collection of gifts. He bought me an expensive tech toy. I immediately felt bad and then he just kept saying he wanted a fun toy. We bickered about it and moved on. \n\nSo we get to his birthday. I spent months trying to figure out what to get him knowing that he's super picky. I decided on the amazon echo dot because it can do lots of things and he could spend a lot of time customizing it. But he clearly wasn't impressed--it doesn't connect to his preferred apps and he doesn't already have amazon prime. He told me I could keep it for my upcoming birthday. He acknowledged his poor reaction and apologized. \n\nThis is not something worth breaking up over. But if every holiday that involves gifts is going to stress me out and ultimately end with me upset, is it even worth the effort to buy a gift? Are there couples that just don't ever exchange gifts?", "summary": "I end up with hurt feelings because my boyfriend is super picky and sucks at accepting gifts. I'm frustrated and need ideas on how to resolve this."} {"id": "t3_2jf9ia", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU and nearly got hit by a car", "post": "So I have to get two buses back from university to my house. This happened after the first bus, before the second.\n\nJust before getting off bus 1 I put my earphones in, pressed play and set off to the bus stop just down the road. Half- concentrating on where I was going, but still conscious of my surroundings, I manoeuvre the crowded path to the crossing on the road. No green man yet, but a quick glance left and a quick glance right told me the road was clear. So I set off across.\n\nJust as I get about half way I hear tyres screeching from the left, getting loud FAST. Shit. My heart skips a beat but thinks it's skipped a thousand so tries to make up for it my quadruple-speeding immediately. I suddenly sprint to the other side, and miraculously make it. Legs of jelly, forehead of sweat, I'm alive.\n\nLooking back up and down the road, the car doesn't exist. All I see is the same empty road and two guys on the other side looking at me strangely for what I had just done. That's when I realised: the screech of tyres was in my earphones. It was the song I was listening to, not a car in the real world. My head goes from sweating to beet red, and I slowly make my way to bus number two, earphones definitely out of my ears this time.", "summary": "listened to music while crossing a road. Screech made me shit a brick, turned out to be my music, not a car. Embarrassment ensued."} {"id": "t3_10bh0d", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should I cease contact with a friend over an accusation of theft?", "post": "Today I got a text from a guy named Bryant who I sometimes hang out with and share many mutual friends with. The message said \"My man, I'm gonna need 40 dollars for that sweater that you took from me\" The sweater he's referring to is one that I found in my car several months ago.\n\nSeveral months ago I asked my friends if anybody had lost a sweater and Bryant mentioned that he had lost a sweater (never proven to be the one I found). I offered to return it and he declined, never bringing the issue up again.\n\nToday I responded to his message, telling him that I would look for the sweater and return it if I found it, but that I would not give him money as it is not my responsibility to keep track of his clothes. He accused me of stealing it and said that I am \"disappointing\". I replied that I wasn't looking for his approval and that reiterated that I would give him the sweater if I found it.\n\nI have blocked his facebook page and will probably avoid this guy in the future, even though he is often at my good friend's house. Is this an appropriate way to handle this?", "summary": "Dude says I owe him $40 for a sweater I found several months ago and no longer have (which may or may not be his) Should I just cease contact with him?"} {"id": "t3_4zlky0", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "[HELP] My parents are thinking about getting rid of my 8 year old cats (who are brothers) because they have a urine problem.", "post": "When I was in the 2nd grade (I am currently a 10th grader) my mother surprised our family with two cats that were 'getting to old to be adopted'. We've had these cats for 8 years and throughout those years they've peed on anything left on the floor they can claw at. This includes but is not limited to clothing, backpacks, and blankets. My parents have put up with this (though vocally stating how much they hate them) for our sake but recently they have peed on carpeting and furniture and this is my parents' last straw. \nWe all love these cats and they're not 'bad cats' in anyway. One of them is skittish by nature but other than that and the urine problem they are loving animals who have been considered as part of the family in my eyes. These are my first cats and the only childhood pets I have left that haven't passed away. For now, my mother has banished them to the basement unless we can find a way to stop this, or else they'll go to a cat rescue where no one will adopt them. \nReddit, I'm writing this through tears, please tell me how to get them to stop, or any advice that pertains to this issue. If this helps at all, one of the cats lives half of his live outdoors and uses the bathroom out there as well, we also have two dogs that push their buttons sometimes but ultimately they get along.", "summary": "My parents are going to give my two brother cats away to a cat rescue (essentially killing them) if they don't stop pissing everywhere. PLEASE HELP!!"} {"id": "t3_2223kf", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Something happened at work. What should I do?", "post": "I work for a retail of a major corporation. I really like my job, and I take the job, my store and my fellow teammates needs seriously. We had a pretty fabulous boss, but he was supplanted by a younger, Hispanic AGM from another, local store. I think the plan was to diversify, ethnically, in an otherwise rural community. To my point..the first or second day of my new manager's first day, a customer to whom I frequently deliver put his hands on me in a way that really made me feel horrified. When I returned to the store, the client in question was waiting on hold to ask for my phone number. I told my new boss. He casually took the name/details and let me know I wouldn't deliver to that location anymore. He also urged me to keep the incident to myself. I was willing to shake it. I mean, I've definitely dealt with bigger violations in my life. Only, a few days later he made a remark that..I don't know, you judge. It was really cold this winter and I frequently wore this big, fuzzy hat from Alaska. I moved to my current location from Houston, TX; so I was inclined to bundle as best I could this winter. Anyway, I was gearing up to make a run when the new boss announced, \"You know, you complain about all the attention you get from men, then you wear that hat.\" I feel violated. My hat does not have a sign that says \"feel free to put your hands on my body.\"", "summary": "corporate lvl client touched me inappropriately. Was willing to let it go because the boss was new. New boss, later, suggested that I somehow asked for it."} {"id": "t3_2quz81", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [22 F] let things happen, or ask for clarification with a my friend [24 M]?", "post": "I have a somewhat confusing relationship with one of my closet friends. We started out by talking in a dating sense, but never had sex (or much of a physical relationship). At the time things were pretty complex in both of our lives so after a couple of months we decided to be friends. He is now one of my best friends, about 20 months later.\n\nThe confusing part happened about 6 months ago. He started to pull away a little bit, and I was worried he thought I was leading him on. I took a week or two and debated, and decided my life had slowed down enough to give dating a shot. He asked for some time to think, and about two weeks later he told me we couldn't be friends anymore and cut off all contact. Fast forward to three months ago. I was still hurt but was moving on, and started dating a really sweet guy. A month later friend sheepishly apologized with a very short email, and said that an SO should be your best friend. I told him it wasn't fair for me to drop boyfriend for him, so we tried to maintain what was now an awkward friendship. \n\nA couple of weeks later I told friend I really did want to be with him, but I wasn't sure it was best. We got into a small argument and both agreed we only wanted to date because it felt like we *should* be together. However, that's just not true, and we both know it. This week I broke up with boyfriend because I felt guilty about my feelings for friend. I told friend it was because things had been very awkward and I wanted a normal friendship with him again. We have been texting everyday since (which is slightly more than usual for us). He leaves for vacation tonight, so we wont have contact for another week until he gets back to campus and we see each other for the first time since break started. \n\nMy questions are: how do I approach this situation, and are we both on the same page with our relationship? ie) are we working towards dating and do I need to clarify that with him?", "summary": "I am not sure where a back and forth friendship is at currently, and I don't know how to move forward."} {"id": "t3_3jvquy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24f) found flirty texts to a 'Daddy' (46m) on my bfs (25m) phone, maybe one message that hints he may be cheating", "post": "In the past few weeks I noticed my boyfriend has sort of withdrawn his phone use in front of me, he used to use it all the time so I thought it was a little odd. Then I had to make a call on it and found it had a password, no prob, I used my own.\n\nHowever the other day while my boyfriend was showering he was waiting for a call from work so he gave me the password to unlock it in case the call came in while he was showering. I ended up snooping. Typical, I know. \n\nI looked through his texts, no messages from any women or anything but there was one series of messages to a Daddy. Now I have met my boyfriend's dad and even have his number for emergency reasons, both his parents in fact. Nothing in your face but there were a few messages referring to 'Daddy' as quite handsome and 'Daddy' was complimenting my bf on his eyes. They also talked about stress relief, jacking off a lot, in a way that would seem like a general if weird convo between guys IF I didn't know how my boyfriend is when he's being flirty. Then there was one message from 'Daddy' telling my bf he has a gorgeous looking dick. \n\nI'm not sure what's going on here, is my boyfriend gay? Bi? Is he cheating? Ready to cheat? Thinking about it? I'm not even sure how I feel about all this. Just confused as fuck, if it had been a woman it would've been easy to just lose my shit over this but I had zero clue my boyfriend liked guys, so I'm way more confused than hurt, though still hurt.\n\nDon't know what to do though?", "summary": "boyfriend has a 'Daddy' he's been flirting with, one text mentions is him complimenting my bfs dick, more confused than hurt about all this crazy shit"} {"id": "t3_34dxfe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Thinking of breaking up with boyfriend M28 who doesn't want to put in more time and effort into our relationship F27.", "post": "I have a boyfriend that I love. Even with his shortcomings. Which we all have.\nBut I feel he is not devoted enough. I'd like to meet more often, chat etc. He knows this, I told him nicely etc. When we meet it's wonderful.\nHe is content with meeting once a week and if that falls through, he is not particularly upset.\n\nI feel awful because I ask him for more meeting etc and I sometimes get to the point where I sound accusative and horrible. I respect his time and commitment to his son, but I'd like to meet more often when he doesn't have the sweet little boy. No, those weeks he runs, rides his bike, meets friends...etc.\n\nAnyways, I'm fed up. But can't bring myself to break up yet. The question is: if we have a great relationship but I can't get him to invest more, shall I give up? \n\nI feel that there is a big gap between our needs. I understand he has his own life and so do I. But I was hoping for maybe an extra date when he is not parenting. Is it too much to ask for? \n\nE.g yesterday he didn't email me all evening because he was skyping someone for four hours. I don't doubt he did, but I would have appreciated a quick email saying, hey, I'm on Skype with Jessica, talk tomorrow. Am I being unreasonable?", "summary": "Boyfriend is not ready to make more time for me. I feel horrible and cry every day. Thinking of ending it."} {"id": "t3_18upqb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [26F] Mother in law [49] keeps making plans to come over and see our daughter, but ditches them.", "post": "Husband [27M] and i have known each other for around 7 years.\n\nLast year we had a child.\n\nMother in law has been getting annoyed at us because she hasn't seen our son in a while (+2 months), wants to make plans to see him, then won't show up, and won't ring to tell us that she's decided not to come, and automatically assumes that the next day she can just show up.\n\nSo i get my husband to ring her and tell her she can't come over the next day (Due to us mainly needing to go shopping) and she says \"Oh, good thing you rang me because i would've just shown up anyway.\"\n\nShe has some of our things, like kinect sensor, some of my clothes, etc.\n\nShe apparently doesn't feel \"Comfortable\" in our house for whatever reason, and wants us to travel to her house (Our car isn't working at the moment.) But we don't have the money to spend $30 in public transport + 15 - 20 on food. \n\nShe's apparently coming over today, and it's now almost 12pm.\n\nHow do i get this woman to stop being so rude?", "summary": "Mil makes plans to come and see our son, then doesn't come over, doesn't ring us to tell us she's had a change of plans, and then assumes she can just come over the next day."} {"id": "t3_3gy8y0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "1 UPDATE: I (18M) don't feel comfortable with my girlfriend's bestfriend (20M) being presistant with my girlfriend. (18M)", "post": "Here's my last post: \n\nSo here's the update. My girlfriend and her best friend had a long talk. My girlfriend and I agreed that her best friend should stop tell her about his feelings and to tell him to get over her. She showed me the chat with him and I read it thoroughly.\n\nBasically, he said he's fine with being best friends with her and liking her romantically. Even though she tried her best to tell him to get over her, he said the only way he would be able to get over her would be to TOTALLY cut her off. Like never talk to each other again kind. The thing that both of us are worried about is that he is literally shutting himself out from all other romantic relationships because of her. He says that having them as best friends is more than he could ever want. Honestly, there are two cross roads my girlfriend can take.\n\nCease contact with him forever so he will get over her \n\nor\n\nPretend like it all never happened and for him to keep all his feelings to himself\n\nMy girlfriend chose the second choice. She knows herself that cutting him off would be the best for him but for herself, she doesn't want to cut him off. Honestly, I don't know what the right choice at all and it is currently bringing in relationship problems for my girlfriend and me.\n\nI will be able to reply to comments for about 3 hours so please give me advice.", "summary": "My girlfriend's best friend gave her an ultimatum and she decided option 2. I don't know if this is really the right choice."} {"id": "t3_1u4fn2", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Let's talk love at first sight, everyone [30s/m] [30s/m]", "post": "Ok, here's the deal. Throwaway for reasons. I'm an early 30s gay male, and I live on the left coast. I recently went on vacation to NYC with family...and met a guy (via iPhone, natch). It was supposed to be just a hookup, but it's turning into more than that. The first time we kissed was...perfect, actually. He was easily the best lover I've ever had (and I've had a few...). We spent as much time as we could over the next few days together, and I very quickly realized that there was a lot more to this than I expected. He's said the same things. I've never felt this way before, and I've dated plenty of guys (in fact, I'm generally pretty guarded around people). I kept my bullshit-detectors up and found zero bullshit. He didn't act differently in public, in bars or when he introduced me to his friends. I was totally honest with him and I believe he was totally honest with me. I spent most of my last day there with him, and it felt totally normal, like this was the way it was supposed to be. Is this something I should pursue? Has anyone else experienced this? Can this work? Any advice?", "summary": "Met someone on vacation and kinda sorta fell in love in a few days. Is love at first sight a real thing? Has anyone experienced it?"} {"id": "t3_4yesuz", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [24f] rebounded into my current relationship [21m]. I have no idea what to do about it now", "post": "Let me start off by saying I've been single for about 6 years now. My relationship skills are a bit rusty, which is probably what got me into this. \n\nI was dating a guy (not my current boyfriend, let's call him Patrick) for about 2 months starting in May. He went to the same school as me but moved back home when he graduated, about and hour and a half away from me. We would text and talk everyday and went on about 4-5 dates during this time. Then out of nowhere (to me, anyway), he tells me he's not up to do long distance and says we should just be friends. \nI'm heartbroken, of course, because I really liked this guy and thought we were actually headed somewhere. Anyway, while I was dating the previous guy, a mutual friend invited me to watch the GoT season finale with him and his friend (my current bf, let's call him Will). I thought he was cute but didn't think anything more of it because I was already interested in Patrick. \n\nFast-forward to a month or so later. I'm not dating anyone anymore. Will hears from our mutual friend that my job is hiring. He comes in to apply and also asks me on a date. After our second date, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes mainly out of shock and I was still hung up on being sorta dumped by Patrick. But we've been dating for 2 weeks now and we hardly know anything about each other or talk very often (he sometimes takes a full 24 hours to reply to texts from me). I want to dump him or at least regress to just dating since we went so fast, but he hasn't dated in a while either. I don't know what to do because I don't want to hurt his feelings, make our mutual friend feel awkwardly in the middle, but I also don't feel good about this relationship.", "summary": "I don't actually know my current boyfriend all that well and I don't think I want to date him anymore. "} {"id": "t3_2t8gpm", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I need some advice on improving my living situation and my life in general.", "post": "I graduated from highschool in 2012. I am now 20 years old (21 in June). So about 3 years ago my mom finally won custody over my sister and me after about 10 years of custody battles. The only problem is that all the years before took such a financial toll on my mom. So the past years she's basically been struggling to even be there for us at all. About 2 years ago she lost the apartment that we were living in. I had to live with my bestfriend for the last months of Highschool. My mom and sister stayed with one of her friends from the area. After Highschool we all moved in with my mom's parents. It's a mess really. I don't like going into detail on the living situation, but let's just say its very messy. I really don't like living like this although I have for the past couple of years. \n\nI have a pretty nice job at a high end computer retailer and I'm looking to continue education for a better career. The only problem is I really don't have the drive to do anything significant at the moment. What I would like to do is get my own apartment (Don't care about the size) and start again on my own. I feel like I've been dragged into a pit with the rest of my family that I cannot get out of. I just need some advice on how I can move forward.", "summary": "I have a terrible living situation at the moment. My current goals are simple: Get my own place to stay and a way to get back and forth to work. That's all I want right now."} {"id": "t3_1soupk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my Pre-op trans Boyfriend [17 M] 2 months in and I've been doubting my feelings", "post": "This is my first relationship with someone, so excuse my ignorance. But to cut to the chase, I'm in a relationship with a transgendered guy (Born with female body, transitioning to a guy once he's able to) and I am beginning to doubt my feelings for him. I have always claimed to be omnisexual/pansexual, but now that I'm not quite sure if I'm going to be attracted to my boyfriend after he has transitioned. \n\nJust recently I've been having these thoughts where I would think that I would be attracted to him so much more if he were to keep the long hair, wear dresses and be, well, female. I feel like absolute shit due to these thoughts because I feel like such an asshole. Am I just using my boyfriend and attracted to him all because of some perverted thought that I'll be getting some in the future from him? I have no idea...\n\nNow the problem I'm running into is telling my boyfriend this. Telling him that I'm afraid of losing attraction to him either because I don't like men like I think I do, or that I'm incredibly shallow. He has such strong feelings for me that I am scared I will absolutely crush his heart by doing that.\n\nNow don't get me wrong, whenever I'm with him I'm happy all the time and think how wonderful it is to stay in each others' arms for hours on end. So I don't know why I'm thinking these thoughts and feeling these feelings when I'm away from him.\n\nI'm confused, I'm doubtful, and I'm scared. Please help.", "summary": "I feel like I'm losing my feelings for my boyfriend due to the fear of not being attracted to him after he undergoes his transition to a male."} {"id": "t3_4fr44o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Boyfriend's dad saw me[f 21] naked. My boyfriend [m 25] now wants me to have dinner with his parents.", "post": "My boyfriend lives with his parents right now so 90% of the time we hang out at my place or we just sit in my car parked outside of his parents house (we are in the process of finding an apartment to live together).\n\n A couple weeks ago me and him were watching movies in his room one thing led to another and we had sex in his room and I fell asleep. I tried to leave but he said it would be okay. The next morning while my boyfriend was in the shower his dad came into his room woke me up and started yelling at me and he saw me completely naked. \n\nso last week we were at his house again watching movies in his living room. His dad came in again. My boyfriend introduced us and I was super embarrassed and shy because of what happened. My boyfriend said \"sorry she is a little shy\" and his dad said \"she didn't seem so shy when I met her\". \n\nhis mom has also called me a \"bootycall\" and his dad said I have small boobs. \n\nI'm not sure what to do. My boyfriend really wants to take me and his parents out to dinner. I tried to explain why I'm so embarrassed but he says it isn't a big deal. I've asked him if we can wait a little longer before I meet them to give me some time to not be so embarrassed but he insists that they'll love me.\n\nI'm not sure what to do. I don't think I'll ever have the courage to meet his parents after all of this. How would I even handle meeting his parents?", "summary": "boyfriend lives with parents his dad saw me naked and yelled at me. my boyfriend still insists on me having dinner with him and his parents. not sure how to handle it"} {"id": "t3_1f31bb", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Possibly in love with my best friend. Help?", "post": "This wouldn't be so hard for me (22f) to handle, except I have to sit idly by and listen as he (22m) talks to our mutual friends about hooking up with other chicks and whether or not he would have a chance getting with any of them.\n\nI feel extremely used when I think about him looking for other girls, despite understanding he says we have no chance... I've tried just cutting the sex out of our friendship and looking for another guy to catch my eye, bit I've fallen to hard... \n\n I can't just say goodbye and be done with him because we've been really amazing friends far longer than I've had these feelings for him. And his friendship means more to me than my feelings for him\n\nBackground help:\n\nIn a \"fuck buddy\" relationship for about a year now.\n\nHe knows my feelings for him, ive told him flat out, and but tells me he can't allow himself to open up to another person because he can't stand another heart break.\n\nWhat else is there to do?", "summary": "what should I do if I'm in love with my best friend and he tells me he's given up on dating, but bluntly continues to look for one in front of me."} {"id": "t3_ggg15", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Where do I stand with her?", "post": "I realize that I'm probably in the friend zone, but I can't quite tell, because occasionally I get very mixed messages, here's the situation:\n\nI (24M) dated her (23F) in college, and we've just started talking to each other again recently, after I screwed up the previous relationship by cheating on her (not proud of that). I've been going through a kind of hard time at work recently, and we had been talking about that.\n\nWhen she was upset a few days ago, she called me, because she wanted to talk to me about it, which kind of threw me off a bit. Yesterday, I tried to give her the real apology I always felt like she deserved for me screwing up before, and she said that it meant a lot to her, and then said that she was really happy to have me back in her life, then said that she was really glad that I answered when she called me, because I was the only person she wanted to talk to.\n\nHowever, despite those things, which would make me think she might be interested in a relationship, she's said a few times now that she wants to be friends. What's going on here?", "summary": "She's been calling me, and saying things that seem to indicate she's interested, but also mentioned a few times that we're friends, what does she really want?"} {"id": "t3_4rvbno", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Stressful workmates for a summer student", "post": "I'm currently a summer student with 2 months left of employment. I'm working on project that requires high contact for 10 hours each day with three other team mates. We are all between 21 and 28 years old. The issue is that these people are highly crude and I find it hard to share in the things they find funny. \n\nThis morning, as #1 was making jokes about his girlfriend and how he's going to put her in line by hitting her in the face (a joke commonly made between the three of them). I didn't laugh, but he looked over at me and said, \"you laugh now but wait until you get it, just 'BOOM' straight in the eye.\" I'm assuming he was making a joke about my boyfriend hitting me. I just didn't know how to react, I know he doesn't like me, but this was too far. \n\nThe bad jokes continue as all three of them mimic someone who is mentally handicapped, and saying derogatory terms, while also pretending to be characters in movies who were mentally or physically handicapped. They think it's so funny and then call me frigid for not laughing. They also are extremely racist and just generally offensive. \n\nMy question is, do I ignore these things for two months? I can't think of any other option because I need the money for school and I can't find another job right away. im also unsure of if i am possibly being overly sensitive?", "summary": "my coworkers for two more months are being super offensive, do I say something or ignore it, and am I being too sensitive?"} {"id": "t3_4un1g8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19,F] keep wanting to hurt my best friend [19,M], whom I love.", "post": "I've recently fallen in love with my best friend, but he doesn't reciprocate. We've been very close for years and I thought I would be one of the most important people to him, and I know I am, but there are others he has bigger feelings for than me and it makes me want to die. I know it sounds awful, and it IS awful, but I keep wanting to hurt him emotionally--try to prove to myself and him that I'm much more important to him, important enough to cause him as serious a wound as he did to me. \n\nThere's no need to tell me I'm being a bad friend, because I know that, and I've been keeping my distance from him for a while now because of it. The problem is, he wants me back in his life; he keeps saying he misses me, that he still cares about me no matter what. That hurts me in more ways than one: how could he still care about someone who wants to hurt him? I don't feel like I deserve that. And--although this is a part of me I hate--I can't help but ask myself, don't I matter enough to him to scar him? He's forgiven me too fast...too fast even for someone like him. I want to be back in each other's lives too, but I don't have the courage to tell him how much of a terrible person I am. I don't even know how to begin to deal with these feelings. I might need some kind of pep talk.", "summary": "I keep wanting to emotionally hurt my best friend to try to prove my worth to him and myself. How do I begin to deal with this?"} {"id": "t3_jq855", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Which 'life lessons' do you use to judge the maturity level of others?", "post": "Not sure if the title is obvious enough so here's my example.\n\nLife lesson #241: Nearly everyone experiences a bad break up at some point in their life, hell some people even experience a dozen or more. In my experience you can pull yourself up, realise the other persons shitty behavior (and your own) is pretty normal in the grand scheme of things and move on with your life - or you can hold a grudge and use every available opportunity to publicly bad mouth your ex.\n\nIf I meet someone and they start whining about their ex, how bad they had it and how stupid they were to stay with him or her, I tend to judge the person telling the story rather than think anything else about the ex.\n\nSo tell me what life lessons do you use to gauge another's level of maturity? Does forgetting a question mark make them an idiot. Maybe cracking mum jokes makes them a 12 year old in your books?", "summary": "Don't whine to me about your ex or I'm going to think you're immature and hit on your mum instead."} {"id": "t3_35xpp6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU when i sliced my girlfriend", "post": "TIFU when I was at my girlfriends house. \n\nWe where having some fun in her room and their was a picture frame on the wall behind her. So that we didn't break it we took it down and moved it to her bed. \n\nWe then continued to play around and then I picked her up and fell backwards with the intention of having her lay on top of me on her bed. \n\nDumb arse me forgets that I had placed the picture frame in the bed only minutes before and so I land right in the middle of it. At the same time I hear a scream. My girlfriend in an attempt to stop us stuck out her hand.\n\nThe sharp glass sliced through the tip of her finger. The finger wouldn't stop bleeding and we weren't sure how to explain things to her mother.", "summary": "Was having 'fun' with girlfriend. I Sit on photo frame. Girlfriend cuts hand trying to stop me. Blood everywhere"} {"id": "t3_fw6nh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Paypal is holding my university tuition as they deem the money transfer from my mom \"suspicious\" and possibly \"money laundering\", is there anything I can do?", "post": "A bit of background. I'm an international student studying in Australia, but originally from Canada. My mom has been sending me money for my tuition via Western Union, which costs a small fortune (something like nearly $1000 to send $10,000.\n\nSo I told her to have my sister setup a paypal account for her, as sending that much from her bank account via paypal only costs $60.00. Now there was already a delay in that my sister didn't confirm the bank account, which took a week to do once she actually went to send the money. So I had to get an extension on my school fees, as this week ended up pushing me over the due date.\n\nSo today I received an email stating that the money has cleared (Hooray!), Followed by an email stating \"Your account has been limited due to Australian anti-money laundering laws\". I called Paypal and they advised me that if I scan and email in the required documentation, it will be 3 days before they even look at it. I told the customer service rep on the phone that my tuition is due on the 11th of March (that's when the extension goes to), and he said it's highly unlikely that it will be processed by then.\n\nSo it seems I may get kicked out of school and subsequently this country because Paypal is fucking with my tuition.\n\nNow I realize a money transfer from mother to son is obviously highly suspicious. But come on! Does anyone know of anyway to speed up this process?", "summary": "Paypal is witholding my tuition because they're assholes and as such I may get kicked out of school and Australia."} {"id": "t3_hgm4w", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Please help reddit... I had my wisdom teeth out Tuesday, dry sockets in all sockets developed Thursday, today some bastard gland on my neck is swollen like a tennis ball, everything I swallow feels like razor blades, and I'm going overseas in a week", "post": "Warning, this is a repost because I'm paranoid. Also, I'm anatomy stupid. I think this is a gland. Its on my neck in the area you would feel if you were checking your pulse on your carotid artery. \n\nPlease if there are any dentists type do you know if the tonsil swelling is normal after developing dry sockets? i had the first medication applied Thursday, I'm going back Monday. On Thursday I had a fever so bad it was 89 degrees out and i was still shivering even though I had on full sleeves and pants, a coat, had a small heater blowing on me, and was under a blanket. My teeth were clattering so much it was hurting the sockets. Migraine was so bad I couldn't walk. Since the medication my fever has reduced drastically but my throat now hurts so bad its difficult to describe. Even swallowing my own spit feels like razor blades in my throat. Gargling salt water helps a tad but even hydrocodone does not relieve this pain. I am leaving America in a week and I am scared\n\nThe reason this is freaking me out is because I can not remember having any gland or tonsil swelling ever in my life, even as a kid. It's the weekend now so the dentist is gone till Monday :(\n\nI just need to know if this sort of thing is normal or if I should go to an ER or something?", "summary": "Wisdom teeth out tuesday, dry sockets developed, medication applied, uncontrollable crazy fever, now swollen glands. Also my breath smells like ass "} {"id": "t3_4i21jm", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Should I [17/F] go for a guy [18/M] who went on a couple dead end dates with my friend's sister?", "post": "About a year ago, this guy asked my friend's sister to prom. He was interested in her, and she basically had no interest in him. She said yes, but only as friends. Even after this he clearly still had feelings for her. She didn't really have any interest in dating him, but she thought maybe she'd try going on a couple dates with him. She wasn't sure if she genuinely wasn't interested or she was just scared because she hadn't really had any relationship experience before.\n\nI know this guy because we have a class together and we sit together. He's somewhat shy, but sweet and funny. We've spent some time together, we co-led a group of kids at a volunteer event, and obviously I'm around him every day. I definitely have at least some feelings for him, and I can't really tell if he reciprocates, he's just generally a very quiet person.\n\nHim and my friend's sister went on a few dates, and as it turned out it was somewhat awkward and very very platonic. Neither of them attempted to make any move on the other, and things were generally very tense. Like, sitting down and having a pro-cons conversation about kissing eachother and then not kissing eachother tense. She plans on breaking whatever this is off with him the next time she sees him, but she doesn't even know if this will be necessary because they haven't even hung out in a month. Any interest that either of them had is dead.\n\nAs I said earlier, I kind of like this guy. Graduation is soon and we'll soon be going our separate ways, though we'll still be in the same area. Should I just give him my number, whether it turns out to be platonic or not? Or should I just steer clear?", "summary": "Have a bit of a crush on a guy who I see every day and won't be seeing soon, he went on a couple platonic dates with friend's sister, should I even bother giving him my number?"} {"id": "t3_10m9xe", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "If I found an ex-meth head trying to restart his life and found evidence he was trying to get bath salts, what should I do?", "post": "Backstory: Because of a very unlikely string of events someone I consider family left his email account signed into on my phone. Of course mobile view is enabled and I found it difficult to log off. While trying to do so I saw this email and my mind was blown. He's going to college, trying to get his life back on track after some mistakes in high school. I'm not directly related to him but he's considered part of my fiancee's family and thus I consider him an extension of my own family, and I stick up for family.\n\nI'm all for responsible drug use however bath salts and a lot of the other herbal products they discussed via email all have some kind of risk associated with them. I keep thinking of him flipping out and killing one of the dogs, or ruining his college career, and me being the sole person who knew and could have done something, anything, to prevent this situation from spiralling out of control.\n\nTelling my mother-in-law is out. He'd get kicked out and go back to the same shitty home situation as before. My father-in-law would probably have a heart attack and it would be game over then. For both of those reasons that idea is out.\n\nAlso, he hasn't actually ordered anything as far as I'm aware. But those are very recent emails. I'm just at a loss as to how to approach all of this, as I know he's a good kid and just trying to keep his nose clean and get that urge out of his system with a replacement. I just can't help but feel that the entire string of events leading up to this moment was for this reason, so I knew and could do something about it. The only question of course is what to do.", "summary": "Someone I consider family is considering using bath salts in the immediate future, and it could fuck up the new life he's tried to start. What do?"} {"id": "t3_186xps", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[18/18 m/f] How do you make a smooth transition, in conversation? from online to offline?", "post": "I live in China, and go to an international high school. I met a girl recently (about a month now) and we talk all the time... online. in person I don't really have a problem talking to her but it can be really awkward. She can be kind of shy, and so can I. I know we both like each other; her friend told me she likes me and she knows I like her through the same friend. so it is not exactly openly talked about, and right now we are just friends. I think we are both have this uncomfortable boundary that we are afraid to break, and I have no idea how to do it, but online we talk for hours on end and lose complete track of time. We can't \"be ourselves\" around each other in person. How do I fix it.", "summary": "Met this girl hit it off, but we are both uncomfortable speaking to each other in person, but absolutely marvelous online. How do I get comfortable speaking to her in person?"} {"id": "t3_4cmkhz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend's[20 F] therapist [40's M] recommended that I [21 M] consume illegal drugs with gf", "post": "Hell, I'm not even sure what subreddit to put this under. I've never heard anything like this before.\n\nBasically, my gf (will call her Becca) have been together for almost 2 years. Never had any problem with intimacy over the course of our relationship. Recently, she began to attend some long needed but only recently affordable therapy. She's working with a psychiatrist and a therapist. \n\nAfter some time, the psychiatrist diagnosed her with BPD, some nasty stuff. From my understanding, there is no cure, only treatment that will help. Psychiatrist proceeded to put her on antidepressants. All cool, however, she quickly encountered a problem that the psychiatrist warned she might run into. It's become near impossible for her to actually orgasm. She can't even get it done from masturbation. \n\nGf took to the net to research and found that marijuana actually alleviates this side effect for the most part...and sure enough, it oddly enough works for her. She can orgasm now, but only while under the influence.\n\nSo now today, we're speaking to her therapist (not psychiatrist) and the issue was brought up. The therapist not only totally endorsed her use of illegal marijuana for a medical (although sexual) purpose, but proceeded to suggest that I also be under the influence any time sexual activity is taking place in order to ensure that we are \"on the same neurological spectrum during intimacy.\"\n\nI thought he was joking but he's apparently totally serious. I'm not sure what the hell to make of this, total shocker. So my question...\n\nIs this some sort of unprofessional anomaly? Are we dealing with a nut job? Is this valid advice? I can't decide whether this is something to embrace or something to report him to someone for. I can't believe I'm asking internet strangers a question like this after visiting a professional but this just sounds so bizarre.", "summary": "Girlfriend is using marijuana for \"medical\" purposes, her therapist has recommended I use marijuana with her to be on the \"same neurological spectrum during intimacy.\" Advice?"} {"id": "t3_3zbtc9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 M] found out my brother [25 M] is having an affair with his best friend's girlfriend. [25 M and 25 F]", "post": "Some information:\nMe and my brother are sharing an appartment together. I finished school last year and started working, he quit his job 9 months ago and hasn't really looked for another job since. Despite that he has been able to pay half the rent with his savings until recently, so far I haven't pushed him to get a job. Generally spoken me and my brother go along really well.\n\nHe has known his best friend for about 13 years, the guy has also become a great friend of mine. 2 years ago his best friend got a new girlfriend and their relationship went fairly well until recently. I noticed that they weren't as attached to eachother but never really put much thought in it.\n\nWhat happened:\nMy brother went to a concert with my best friend's girlfriend a few days before New Year. Everyone knew about this and me and my brother's best friend couldn't go because of work.\n\nA few days later I thought I got a skype message on my phone and was quite shocked about what I thought I received from his best friend's girlfriend. The message included stuff about the secret relationship between my brother and her asking if I had a clue of their affair. I realised that was my brother's phone.\n\nRecently, my brother also said he was seeing a girl and that I shouldn't say anything about it to anyone to avoid questions (as it was more of a sexual relationship). He would leave the house early in the morning and arrive back late in the evening. \n\nThat didn't bother me because I always respected his privacy and was happy he found someone. After seeing that skype message I realised he is visiting his best friend's girlfriend while the guy is working. I feel really bad for the guy and lost a ton of respect for my brother and his bf's girlfriend.\n\nWhat do you guys think about this, should I not act upon it or should I talk with either my brother or his friend?", "summary": "brother is having an affair with his best friend's girlfriend while said friend is at work. He doesn't know I know about it and I'm asking for advice."} {"id": "t3_36jaiv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU unleashing my dog at the beach", "post": "I did something stupid yesterday! Reddit will probably tear me apart for this but who cares it's funny. \n\nI got a dog about 9 months ago who has become my PIC. We're pretty much inseparable, he rarely leaves my side. He knows how swim due to teaching him in my pool and swimming in small ponds/lakes together and I usually just unleash him and he does great (we train obedience every other day so he listens amazingly well). I brought him to a dog friendly beach (St. George Island, FL) yesterday because I'm moving and wanted him to experience the ocean once! \n\nI'm super excited to play in the waves with him and there aren't that many people around so, fuck it, I unleash him and run with him to the water. \n\nHe gets hit by the first wave and FUCKING BOOKS IT down the shore. I stopped laughing and started running after him. \n\nUnfortunately the fact that he's the fastest dog I've ever seen combined with the fact that I run 5 miles every other day with him means that he can run.\n\nThe entire beach is cracking up laughing at me chase the dog and I'm dying because running in the sand sucks. \n\nFinally he turned around and stopped after about 2.5 miles and I caught up to him. Everyone stopped me to talk on the way back saying how funny it was to watch and that they couldn't believe how fast my dog runs. Longest walk back ever!!\n\nSo friendly reminder unleashing your dog is a stupid move (not to mention usually illegal).", "summary": "unleashed my dog at the ocean for the first time. Ended up in a 2.5mi high speed beachside sprint"} {"id": "t3_3ccz1z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] want to lose some weight and get in shape, but my boyfriend [22F] is against it.", "post": "I'm not overweight, but I'm pretty much the picture of skinnyfat. I've recently started cutting down on my calorie intake (not much, just maintaining a ~300 cal deficit) and following an exercise program, looking to lose 10-15 lbs and build some muscle. I've started seeing results and I'm pretty happy. However, my boyfriend doesn't feel the same way.\n\n He noticed that I wasn't eating as much and asked me what was going on. I just told him that I wanted to lose a bit of weight and get healthier. He was really concerned and said it would be unhealthy for me to lose any weight. Now, I am 5'2 and 105 lbs, which might sound thin, but I also have 24% body fat and am extremely flabby. I could easily lose a small amount of weight without being unhealthy. However, my boyfriend said that he was worried I was developing an eating disorder. I said I was still eating a normal amount and that it's not unhealthy for me. But he refuses to accept it.\n\nI'm wondering if he's insecure about his own attractiveness. He is a nerdy, kind of chubby guy, which is my type, but it's not what society considers ideal. I have heard about men not wanting their GF's to improve their appearance because they're afraid that they're trying to attract a hotter guy. But it could just be that he doesn't understand what I'm trying to do. Any advice on what could be going on? And how to discuss this with my boyfriend?", "summary": "I'm trying to lose a small amount of weight and start a healthier lifestyle. BF is very concerned and thinks this is unhealthy. How to get through to him?"} {"id": "t3_om18l", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Would this help to end world poverty?", "post": "I noticed girls posting statuses on facebook of them claiming to go to a country for an allotted time. Upon further research, I found that the enigmatic statuses were to create awareness for breast cancer. \n\n I also discovered that similar status trends have happened in the past, such as naming their bra colour for breast cancer, and people changing their profile picture to their favourite cartoon to end child abuse.\n\nLooking at the numbers, it seems to have worked. Funding for breast cancer is in the millions every year, and I asked some people if they knew about child abuse and they told me that it was a reality. Clearly the statuses worked!\n\nNow reddit, I am asking you if we can use this technique to decimate poverty from Africa. I was thinking we should make our statuses in such a way that we mention our *favourite food* and say that we eat it on *whatever object is directly to our right*. \n\nIn my case, \"I eat sushi on my guitar\"\n\nIf we band together, we just might have enough statuses to cause an end to hunger!", "summary": "Your facebook status will save lives if = 'I eat **favourite food** on **object directly to your right**'"} {"id": "t3_qysvk", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I have severe rheumatoid arthritis and I just learned that I'm losing my insurance in a month. Any advice on what I can do is appreciated.", "post": "So here is the deal. I'm twenty-one and I've had polyarticular rheumatoid arthritis since I was ten. My insurance has never been fantastic - I've always had zero prescription coverage, but I got around this by taking IV medications which were considered procedures. \n\nI don't have a job, as my chronic illness has always kept me from being able to work at most jobs, so I work from home on my own business that isn't big enough yet to support affording my own health care. Until now, I've been living with my boyfriend and on my Mom's health insurance. Recently she found out that within the next month or two her position at the company will be eliminated.\n\nAt this point I really don't know what to do. I live in Oregon and it seems that I don't qualify for state health care because I'm not young/old enough and my RA has not yet progressed to the point where there is such permanent damage that I'm unable to walk - therefore I do not qualify for disability. \n\nI can't afford private insurance - living pretty much paycheck to paycheck. Medical cards have been suggested, but I don't have that kind of money up front to apply and see if it helps.\n\nWithout my medication - I'm bedridden. I literally cannot even lift a sheet off of myself, let alone shower, go to the bathroom without assistance, make myself food, run my business or anything else. \n\nAnyone have any suggestions for how to handle this or any resources I may not be aware of? I've been researching since I found out, but I'm not seeing a lot of options so far. \n\nThanks in advance for any insight you can provide.", "summary": "I tried to make it as short as possible while still giving the basic information about my situation. Please just read it. Karma and magical unicorns will reward you at some point in your future. Probably with cute cat pics."} {"id": "t3_3as8zy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [27M] roommate [22F] has a boyfriend(?), and I just heard she slept with my other friend [25M]. What do I do?", "post": "Let's call her Annie. Annie took over the lease after my old roommate moved to another city. She seemed cool, clean, and polite. She's really quiet so we never talk much other than hi and bye. She pays the rent so I don't need much else.\n\nAnnie has her boyfriend(?) sleeping over quite often. Let's call him Ben. I'm not actually 100% sure Ben and Annie are dating, they could just be friends with benefits. I never asked because I don't know either of them well, and it's none of my business, until now.\n\n****\n\nA couple weeks ago my friends and I were hanging out at a bar. Annie also happened to be there (the bar is nearby my apartment), so we say hi and I introduced her to some of my friends. I noticed my friend Charlie and her were chatting quite a bit. Charlie later told me Annie is cute, and wants to know her more. I told him, she has a boyfriend, leave it at that.\n\nFast forward to last Friday, my (other) friends and I were chatting and they noted that Charlie and Annie were hooking up. I was flabbergasted. Ben just slept over yesterday (Sunday). I was confirming with my friends again and again if they're sure it's Annie, and they said yes, they saw Charlie and Annie at Charlie's apartment.\n\n****\n\nSo... I considered not minding anyone's business, but I figured I'll post here anyways for the hive mind's advice.\n\nI don't know the following, which makes it all tricky:\n\n* Are Annie and Ben dating / exclusive?\n* Does Charlie know Annie is still dating? (maybe he thought she broke up?)\n* Does Ben know anything?\n* Charlie's also my friend, not too close, but I want to make sure he's eyes open in this.", "summary": "Found out my roommate is boinking my friend. I assume the guy sleeping over is her boyfriend, should I get involved?"} {"id": "t3_2ovj8m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How many people do you think will judge me [23m] for dating a [19f]?", "post": "Yes, it's the age-old age question, with a twist: a hint of insecurity to underscore the familiar flavours we've all come to expect from this sub.\n\nBut silliness aside, how much flak do you think I'm likely to get for this, whether to my face or behind my back? I've heard guys a year younger than me say 19 is too young, so I'm a bit worried about it.\n\nTo be clear, I see no earthly reason why maturity should be an issue. She's wrapped up three semesters of university with the most recent being spent living abroad, and I feel like I'm somewhat behind where I \"should be\" in the maturity game since I spent three years (from Grade 12 until the summer after my second year of university) being pretty much too depressed to leave my room.\n\nSo, should I ask her out?", "summary": "I'm sensitive about what people think of me and I worry that me [23m] dating a [19f] will creep people out. What do you think?"} {"id": "t3_3ehuvm", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (M/29) decided to be friends with my ex (F/27) upon her request, and I have been very mature about it but she hasn't, I really need help!", "post": "I don't want to write a long essay so I will try to be as brief as I can, basically me and this girl we were best friends for years then we had a fallout in 2013 and we didn't talk for a year, in 2014 she contacted me telling me she had a dream of me and we end up talking and catching up before I knew it we were talking about us being more than friends and she told me she had feelings for me and I had feelings for her so we decided to give it a go, it didn't last long we had a silly fight and she broke things off with me and went back to her ex, I was hurt naturally because the fight was a silly misunderstanding nothing more but I decided to let her go since she was very unstable and I was going through some family feud, a year later she is back around and wanted to be friends with me again I decided that I will be friends with her again and I will never mention the past so I won't make her uncomfortable because I know she feels guilty about it, I decided if I am going to be friends with her I will do it for real and not hold any grudges and turn a blank page, the problem is she keep mentioning it, like how stupid she was for ruining what we almost had and how she always destroys everything that makes her happy, I don't know what to do about it really, I am sure if I tell her to stop talking about it she will get offended and I am afraid that she is mentioning this as some sort of a hint maybe to make me tell her I want her back? I am honestly confused and I don't want to destroy our friendship at this point, can anyone give me an advice?", "summary": "Friends turned More than friends, she broke it off a year later wanted us to be friends and keeps mentioning the past and blaming herself."} {"id": "t3_14v6rg", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Is it bad that I get so worked up looking at coworkers/coeds/colleagues' work that I actively avoid exposing myself to it?", "post": "I've never been able to quite identify why, but I've always hated being shown other students/coworkers/colleagues' work or accomplishments. As a web designer/developer, this sort of comparing/contrasting/exchanging of others' work and ideas seems to be a core concept in my field, but I've just never really enjoyed it. My friends and colleagues are constantly seeking out awesome new examples of stuff that others have posted on various 'creative'-centered sites, saying things like, \"Look how talented this guy is!\" \"Isn't their work awesome?\", but meanwhile my gut response is always to look for flaws in what I'm shown, to bring them down to earth rather than hoist them further up on a pedestal with more praise. I just don't see the point in looking at something that's much better than what I've done, since it just reminds me of how far below them I am and how much farther I have to go to catch up.\n\nI honestly wouldn't think much of it, except that I wonder if this attitude of mine may end up isolating me creatively and cause my own work to stagnate and suffer. Is this a valid concern? If so, how can I adjust my attitude towards others' work so it's not something I actively avoid?", "summary": "I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was... and if someone already did, I want them to die in a fire"} {"id": "t3_4n6lw3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by kayaking with 0 experience", "post": "I had some friends who were experienced kayakers who invited me on a trip with them. We live at Lake Berryessa in Napa ca. We had traveled down to Putah Creek and started at the bottom of a ~300 foot dam drain into the creek. This was our first mistake. I had 0 experience. I literally had gone in the water 10 minutes before and learned how to turn. So here we are thinking I am ready and we set off around the first bend. Easy enough, I had a slow current going. I can handle this I thought to myself. Then things changed, and quickly. The slow current became wild and I quickly found myself in much deeper shit than imagined, I panicked trying to avoid some trees and got turned around. Now I am going down rapids backwards with zero experience. I hit a tree that is 75% submerged so basically I hit the tippy top of a full grown underwater tree and instantly got tangled in the branches. my kayak began getting pushed under water deeper into the branches while simultaneously it began to flip upside down, so now my heads getting pushed under water and the current is pushing me to the center of the tree. Nearly drowned within 10 minutes of my first kayaking experience, I ended up hulk gripping all branches near me and climbed the tree to safety. After that I now have a semi serious fear of rapid waters.", "summary": "Kayaked backwards down rapids with no experience, hit a tree, got stuck, and eventually climbed to safety. Still kind of scared of water after that day."} {"id": "t3_2pepdx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [25f] going to concert with a male [31m] friend I [24m] have never heard of ..", "post": "So, we're chilling and out of nowhere she gets a text from a friend of hers I don't recognize. No biggie because I don't know many of her friends, and she knows very little of my friends. \n\nShe exclaims 'oh shit, Sting is going to be in town'. I asked her if she's going and she said 'yeah, I went to a Sting concert a long time ago and my friend just asked me if I'm down to go again'. An hour later, she told me she just got her Sting ticket.\n\nWhat makes me uneasy is that she admitted (through trickle-truth) that she cheated on her ex boyfriend once, and that this friend she is going to the concert to is from the time when she used to be very promiscuous. \n\nHonestly, I don't think she has cheated on me, and I don't think she plans on cheating on me with him. Nonetheless, I am feeling uneasy. Am I right in being uncomfortable with her chilling with a guy alone? Or am I being totally unreasonable?", "summary": "guy that went to a Sting concert with my gf before I met her texts her asking to go to sting concert again. Gf agrees to go to a concert with him"} {"id": "t3_4dsyf3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] and GF [21 F] of 6 months having to mutually break up due to her moving away during summer. Need general advice counting down to D-day!", "post": "Seeing this girl for about 6 months now. We genuinely get on great and would definitely be in it for the long run had it not been for her going away for 4months. It is an opportunity she couldn't turn up and I would have done the exact same.\n\nWe know we are breaking up and accept the fact. We both know that I will be with other girls and she will be with other guys during the duration she will be gone.\n\nWe will be breaking up reluctantly and mutually.\n\nI feel this is worse than a messy break up. If its messy, you can fight, hate each other and forget about it. In this case we are both reluctant, will be keeping in contact and will both be lingering on for the 4 months knowing that both of us are with other people.", "summary": "Mutually breaking up as she is moving away for 4 months. Long term relationship is out of the question. Need general advice on counting down to the day she goes away and handling the 4 months."} {"id": "t3_23r5qv", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [28/M] broke off my engagement three months ago and tried to contact my ex [28/f] and she hasn't responded.", "post": "Using a throwaway and it's a long one, so \n\nEnd of January, I broke things off with my long-time gf/fianc\u00e9 of nine months in a string of bad decisions on my part. We talked it over a few days later and decided to take a break. A few days later, I demanded we work things out and she refused, so I went into full-on panic mode and tried to OD on sleeping pills. \n\nMom took me to the ER for an evaluation and out of the blue, she showed up at the hospital. She spent the next few days with me and I was sent to the county mental health facility for 72 hours. Before I was released, we had a phone conversation in which she said she loved me, cared about me and wouldn't disappear because me getting help was crucial. \n\nFast forward to now, we have not spoken since that phone call. I mustered up the courage to ask her to meet for coffee and she has not responded. I need to know if she was just blowing smoke up my ass and has no intention of seeing things through. My paranoia has led me to believe she is already seeing someone else and a recent Facebook photo update seems to imply she is \"single and ready to mingle\". Should I expect anything from her at this point? Is it done? I am clueless.", "summary": "I broke up with my fianc\u00e9 and tried to reach out after a few months and she hasn't responded. Is it really over? "} {"id": "t3_3dfyh4", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (27F) am struggling with moving on from him (31M)", "post": "... But he's having zero issues. We've been in a relationship for almost 4 years. It really wasn't an easy period of time -- pretty much a roller coaster that got crazier towards the end. To me, the relationship was meaningful. We were in love and both tried really hard and gave it a lot of time to work things out. Needless to say, at least for me, there was definite significant attachment and genuine care for him. Many conversations were had about marriage, children, and the future. We planned at least the next 2-3 years of work/life around each other despite the fact that we had major communication issues that were never resolved. I didn't want to waste his time because I didn't see us together forever, even though I loved him more than I've ever loved. \n\nI broke up with him one week ago and he stopped communication immediately. That part, I could understand as it's not a good idea to talk to each other so soon. What really hurt was that I found out he began online dating just a few days after (or maybe before? I don't know) things ended between us. I could not fathom how he could actively seek another woman/sex so soon, especially since I don't see myself pursuing another relationship for a long time. \nWhat was really a slap in the face was seeing a photo he posted which I took, wearing a shirt that I picked. He's looking for a girl who is interested in the exact list of activities that we enjoyed together. \nI always thought our relationship was special, even though it didn't work out. Finding out that he was so ready to move on makes me question what our relationship was to him. \nI've been mourning our break up every single day and hoping we could at least be friends. Obviously that's out the window. \n\nI try really hard to stay occupied but the thoughts pop into my head throughout the day. That I've been led on to believe this was a great love in my life that didn't work out, when really I was some girl who was easily replaced, whom he had no emotional regard for. I do want him to find someone (or just get laid), just not this soon. Every part of me hurts.", "summary": "broke up with boyfriend one week prior, he's already trying to date. Questioning the past 4 years, what it really meant, and how can I move on from this."} {"id": "t3_1pu4p9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I face my ultra conservative fundamentalist parents after this? (xpost /r/Advice)", "post": "I'm a 20 year old college grad with a full-time job living at home with my parents while considering career options away from home. My girlfriend of nearly 2 years lives about a 6-hour drive away. This weekend, I took a bus to her campus for a visit.\n\nBefore leaving, I packed my clothes and left my bag at home while I went to work. My mother drove me to the bus station to see me off afterwards. When I arrived to meet my girlfriend, I opened my bag to find a note taped to the side of a box of condoms. \n\nMy mom had left me a note explaining how upset she was. I don't have the paper with me, but I'll paraphrase:\n\n\"Surprise!! Yes, I guess we're both a little surprised now.\nI cannot believe you're making these kinds of choices. I am heartbroken.\nI had so hoped you could offer yourself to your future wife as a virgin.\nPremarital sex is sin and an abomination to the Lord.\nBy the way, I found these while I was packing snacks for your trip.\nHope you have a nice visit.\"\n\nBoth of my parents are incredibly conservative and radical fundamentalist Christians. My father is a deacon of their international church.\n\nAlongside my girlfriend, I wrote an email to my mother yesterday.\n\n[My email](\n[Her response](\n\nI'm not sure what to do or where to go from here. I'm arriving at the bus station nearest home in a couple of hours. Then it'll be an hour and a half ride home with mom (assuming she hasn't brought along dad?). I'm scared sick and the stress is eating away at me. Thanks in advance for advice.", "summary": "Fundamentalist mother found out her baby boy is having sex, has dealt with it passive aggressively. Going home from a trip to see girlfriend as I write this post, not sure how to deal with the situation when I get home."} {"id": "t3_1zc8yj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [25 M] deal with my trust issues and not let them get in the way of my relationships?", "post": "My mother has bipolar disorder and intense paranoia, and while neither I nor my siblings are bipolar we have picked up a certain amount of anxiety and issues trusting others. \n\nI am currently in a relationship (25 F, 5 months) and while it is going wonderfully I am from time to time plagued by the idea that my SO is not being sincere. Most of the time it is absolutely fine - we say that we love each other, I mean it and so does she. Occasionally though, especially when I am feeling anxious or stressed, I convince myself that she is being insincere, that she doesn't have the same depth of feeling for me that I do for her, that she's having doubts and not telling me about them. When I'm in a positive frame of mind and can view things in what I hope is a mostly objective manner, I know that she is being genuine and that we really do have a connection that could be something significant in both of our lives. I'm terrified however that my moments of weakness where I let my anxiety get the better of me will end up damaging our relationship in the long-term. \n\nDoes anyone else have experience with this? What are some methods I can try to control these feelings?", "summary": "How can I deal with trust issues and not let them ruin a great relationship, when 90% of the time I know that everything is fine?"} {"id": "t3_2ou2w2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[20 f] never had a boyfriend", "post": "Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.\n\nThe closet I've actually gotten to having a boyfriend is hooking up with someone last year during my sophomore year. All of my friends around me have boyfriends, and I haven't even gotten close with one guy yet. I've liked a lot of guys, the last guy I liked wrote his phone number on a baseball, and gave it to me; but he never text-ed me back. I liked him for about a year after that until he transferred to a different school. Ever since then, I've been trying to fill that void with numerous guys (one of the guys that I liked, I thought he liked me.. until he started getting with my friend). It's always been like this for me ever since high school. My best friend is already married (for about a year), my other best friend is going to get married. And I know plenty of girls that I know who are married and having children (I take that as a blessing, at least for me). But then again, I realize that I tend to aim too high for guys, Im attracted to athletes, but none of them seem to like me back because Im too ugly, and too awkward for them .", "summary": "never had a boyfriends, friends have boyfriends, likes athlethes, but it too unattractive for their tastes. questions why she doesnt have a boyfriend"} {"id": "t3_2fjeiu", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm [29/m] and have always been a fan of Sending Flowers. But my new GF [30/f] says she doesn't like flowers or chocolate.", "post": "Any advice on how I can still fullfil my want to surprise her at work or do something nice to show how much I care about her in a similar manner? What I would like to do is send her flowers / chocolates or something to her work as a surprise. I've always liked doing that with past relationships. I enjoy it, and I enjoy how they react when it arrives and they don't expect it. But this one is different. And wouldn't like it. I've never had this issue with women before. Not saying they are all the same, but I've never had a GF that didn't like flowers or chocolate. She's very independant / tomboyish, she likes pink, but that's about the extent of her girliness. I'm really just at a loss of ideas. I know this is a pretty small issue compared to a lot of other ones on here.", "summary": "Tomboyish GF doesn't like flowers or chocolate. I want to do something along those lines as a surprise. Any Suggestions?"} {"id": "t3_1ad4nn", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Does anyone else intentionally ignore advertisements?", "post": "So, I've been noticing over the last few years that I make an intentional effort not to even look at certain in-your-face adverts, and advertisements that seem to pander to my age group to an insulting amount. Sort of as a (probably pointless) middle finger to large corporations that try and pander to my age group (young twenties male).\n\nFor example, I mute and change tabs on YouTube whenever a commercial comes along that doesn't give me the option to skip in five seconds. When I see commercials trying desperately hard to appeal to my tastes [(by shoving what I like down my throat)] it offends me way more than it perks my interest.\n\nI even make intentional efforts to not look (or at least not click) adverts from sites like adf.ly. I don't mind being presented with something that might actually be useful to me (with facts not flair). But all the gimmicks really irk me and make me regret giving them my money (for products I would have bought already, even). I feel like I'm only funding their efforts to exploit me and other's like me.", "summary": "[I feel like advertisers think I'm completely stupid and I refuse to reward them.] (Coke is a diuretic)."} {"id": "t3_2urzvd", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by going to court", "post": "This happened when I was a wee lad but remembered it from a recent askreddit post. Figured I'd share here. \n\nI tagged along with my dad to court, so he could fight some sort of ticket he had gotten. Anywho I was about 7 years old at the time and had to take a massive dump, but being the curious 7 year old that I was, I didn't want to leave so I could witness how exactly this court stuff worked. Well me and my dad were on the second to last row in the courtroom waiting for my dads trial or whatever, the last row is where all the cops sit, and beside me is another guy waiting for his court sentence. Now this guy beside me had obviously been waiting for awhile as he was completely passed out. About half an hour passes waiting for my dad to plead his case, when all of a sudden my gut starts to fill up with the gas of a thousand demons. 7 year old me doesn't think twice and I release it in all it's glory. \nThe long wooden benches we were sitting on reverberated the fart 10 fold. It was so loud it stopped the court from proceeding and in the midst of all the laughter and chaos, 2 cops sitting behind me grab the guy who was passed out beside me, and toss him out of court. They had apparently thought he was the one who farted lol. \nMy dad knew it was me but told me to be proud as he said it made the judge laugh whom was apparently a hard ass. That ladies and gents is my fart story.", "summary": "Went to court, farted so loud the guy who was passed out beside me got kicked out. Halted court and made the judge laugh."} {"id": "t3_37clpe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with this guy I'm dating [20 M] for about three months, I'm not the best when in comes to dating and this seems to be stagnating need advice!", "post": "So this past semester this guy and I shared a couple of classes. One day one we both recognized each other from Grindr (we'd never messaged each other). We would sit by each other and talk and eventually spend a couple nights a week studying together at the library.\n\nI was the first to ask him on a real date and it went great!. Then he asked me on one and it also went great. However, our whatever-you-would-call-what-we-were-doing seemed to stagnate after this. \n\nI would always to the first to text him/ask him out. He would always respond and say yes, but never initiate it. I stopped texting first to see if he would eventually start something up and I waited a week before breaking and texting him.\n\nI really like this guy, but I'm at a loss of what to do. I don't know if I'm looking to deep into this. Should I bring it up to him or just let it fizzle out like I'm scared it will.\n\nHELP!", "summary": "I'm really bad at dating. I seem to be putting in all the effort, but I don't know if I'm just stressing myself out."} {"id": "t3_38raks", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Trouble breathing, chest pain, neck pain, throat pain, swollen nodes, headache.", "post": "20/male/6ft1in/160pounds \nSuburban Massachusetts so to my knowledge I haven't been exposed to any infectious diseases in the last few days. Get migraines, no medications. \nSymptoms began this morning roughly 12 hours ago soon after waking up. Woke up, had granola and a yogurt (which recently has been causing coughing fits...Recently I've been suspicious I may be developing an allergy to yogurt...). Showered, etc... Shortness of breathe was what hit me first, leading to some chest pain that's only gotten worse. I've only been taking small breaths all day now but the pain has lingered. It feels like my lungs are compressed since I've found I can only take about a quarter breath without feeling immense chest pain. The pain is there when I don't take large/normal breaths but its tolerable. I've felt my throat tighten up and have had trouble swallowing just saliva. When I do swallow though I'm feeling pain at my sternum. My neck aches and my lymph nodes are swollen so I'm worried I've got something. Had some bone and muscle soreness which I attribute to whatever this is, I haven't been active this week. Chest pain gets worse from time to time throughout the day but sitting upright seems to help a bit. \n \nI generally try to brush stuff off since I live my mom's had a lot of serious health issues and it's always a contest... but I don't like not being able to breathe so i'm a bit worried and curious...", "summary": "Headache, neck ache, swollen lymph nodes, trouble swallowing. Pain and pressure on my lungs with trouble breathing. Some bone soreness around my body."} {"id": "t3_2fdir8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M/] possible career jump, father [50s] encouraging it, everyone including mom[50s] hates it.", "post": "guess im looking for some outsides thoughts to this. \n\nrecently i was extended a position in I.T. security for a privatized Defense company. This position is nearly Double in pay from what i currently make, and could possibly be the biggest thing for Career over all. My father is pushing for me to take it, My mother ABSOLUTELY HATES IT, i mean hates it. my friends that ive told are trying to talk me out of it. and girlfriend of several months upfront is being supportive of any decision i make, but i know shes completely against it as well. her body language and tone of voice whenever i bring it up make obvious. \n\nthe position is a 6 month contract in Kuwait or Baghdad, the other 6 months would be spent Abu Dhabi or Dubai or i could continue into a second 6month contract in Kuwait/ Baghdad. regardless ill be out of the states for a year most likely more. \nI know its Dangerous, but it could be worth, i guess? do i risk my relationship with my family? im almost certain it would probably cost me my relationship with my gf, i mean why would she stay with me if she cant see me for upwards of a year.", "summary": "Offered a job over seas in a dangerous Country, dad says go for it, everyone else doesnt want me to.causing a rift in my personal and family life."} {"id": "t3_1ke453", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[16M] with my girlfriend [16F] 7 months, She is moving 6 hours away roughly.", "post": "she is moving away at the end of this month, and although we may only be 16 I feel like we could have lasted a lot longer than 7 months. I guess I feel angry at the situation (because it would be selfish to be angry at her) and its hard to accept even though I have known for a fair amount of time. Sometimes I do get angry at her and I feel sic or weak in the stomach and I don't want to feel that way.\n\nThe worst part is we haven't done anything to cause this relationship to end! she is just simply moving away. I'm scared that long distance wont work and the fact that I wont be able to see her and touch her makes it harder to accept. We don't say we love each other because we both agreed we don't know what it is being 16 but we have both admitted to wanting to say it very strongly at times. The hardest part about her moving away will be having to adjust to life with out her, that thought haunts me a lot and it saddens me. I just feel like I should never have let myself feel so strongly about someone but then I hate when I think like that because really it was worth it.\n\nI don't know what I am expecting by writing this post just maybe because my girlfriend could have a chance of seeing this (even though it is very unlikely) or maybe cause I just needed to understand how I felt about the situation.", "summary": "She is moving away, although we are 16 we mean a lot to each other, I'm scared long distance wont work."} {"id": "t3_mmqbl", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I have failed...", "post": "A few days ago I posted a thread about how I wanted to get together with my good friend who's seventeen like me, musician, hipster, etc etc. I was planning on doing something with her when I got back to the states (Reddit gave me some good tips and information). One thing that worried me was that her ex-boyfriend was coming back to town. \n\nI was informed via facebook last night that he went to surprise her at school. I was sort of playing a counseling psychologist asking how she felt and why she thought so etc, and it was all going hunky-dory until she said the words, \"and then we sort of touched hands and I'm sort of confused at the moment.\" At this point I felt a huge knot in my stomach. \n\nI sort of stopped talking to her after that part (my computer battery was dead anyway). Well, I had a hard time sleeping that night, I feel like shit right now, I feel the knot still in my stomach. What is recommended? For the last three nights I've talked to her for about an hour and a half each night, but now I really don't want to talk. \n\nWhat do I do?", "summary": "My good friend, who I want to date, touched hands with her ex-bf after a few months of him being away at college and now I feel like shit."} {"id": "t3_2zuhj6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20F] have been posting nudes online cause I felt insecure that my fiance[22M] of 4 years had nudes of other girls saved on his pc and not mine, how do I stop?", "post": "So me and my fiance always exchange nudes, I send him very sexy photos of me which he says he really loves and sometimes he sends me photos of himself, which I love too\n\n2 weeks ago I found nudes of girls (amateur pics taken from tumblr not sent to him personally) and they looked gorgeous with big beautiful boobs and flat tummies and big bums\n\nI know it's stupid to feel insecure over a PHOTO, but something in me just snapped, I felt shitty and annoyed and inadequate, and as stupid as it sounds kinda offended that he wouldn't keep my nudes saved on his computer( he keeps mine on dropbox) and keep some stranger's images there!\n\nSo I took a couple of naked photos and posted them onto gonewild (Don't bother checking this is a different account)\n\nI recieved GREAT feedback two of my photos were at the top of the page and my inbox was FLOODED with men telling me how perfect they thought I was.\n\nIt made me feel good cause I felt that these men were desiring me and thinking I'm really sexy (kinda what my fiance thinks when he looks at those other girls) and it felt so good, kinda euphoric, that someone out there would rather look at *me* and probably save *my photos* on their computer..\n\nbut now it just got out of hand and I cant stop posting.. I dont WANT to post because I feel like it's abit low and I don't really want people to see me naked (god knows what kinda creep could be wanking over those photos)\n\nI know what I did is STUPID and very lame, but I want to stop and try to build my self esteem through other ways rather than posting nudes.. does anyone have any helpful tips?\n\nThank you", "summary": "= I found nudes on my fiance's computer of beautiful girls, so I posted some photos to gonewild, now I can't stop seeking validation via posting nudes."} {"id": "t3_2ttjzr", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Late Start. Getting life back \"on track\".", "post": "BackStory:\n\n18 years old, just graduated highschool. Father tells me not to bother with college because he taking me as an apprentice for the Electrical/Mechanical Engineering firm he worked for. 3 months later he dies of a heart attack. Loong bout of depression ensues. \n\nFastforward 2/3 years. Got over depression, Got a (somewhat) steady job. Still living with mother. Used Pay and the small pell grant I qualified for to take GenEd + intro classes at a community college to get a feel for what i may/may not like to peruse as a career. Then I get in an accident which mangles my left leg. Lost the job, and put my classes on hold. Recovered after about 7 months. tried to find another job; Application process goes well but when i show up for an interview and they see me walking with a limp, I'm (more or less) deemed \"too risky to hire\", despite me saying it isnt really problem. Goes on for years. Unable to continue classes.\n\nFastforward to now, about another year (24 yrs old). Still living with mother. Had a very rough financial year, last year (lost the house we were living in for the past 7 years - and to move to an.... extremely run down part of town). Managed to land a job a couple ago months only because a friend of mine vouched for me and noone else wanted the job.\n\nRight now, Im not happy with my current situation. I want to get myself back on track. Im just unsure how to do that.\nOne hand I've friends and family telling me to go back to and finish college. \nThe other hand has just as many friends and family saying \"a degree isnt worth the paper its printed on\", urging me to take up a practical hobby (like carpentry or coding) while you work, then looking for an internship somewhere once I'm good enough at it.", "summary": "Started working / college late due to family tragedy. several years late. Then an accident delays it even more.. little practical skills, what skills i have are not too useful."} {"id": "t3_e6hey", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My Roommate is a Drug Dealer. Help Please?", "post": "I'm a freshman in college, and I know for a fact that my room mate is dealing weed. I also know that he has access to lots of harder drugs, but I don't think he is actively dealing those as well. \n\nThis wasn't too much of an issue at first, but now its getting to the point where he often has really sketchy friends coming into the room at 2am before going out to get high. \n\nHow can I keep myself from getting in trouble when (it's going to happen eventually at this rate) he gets caught? I really don't want to turn him in because I'd rather not have all his sketchy friends pissed off at me and on top of that hes never really done any wrong to me.", "summary": "Room mate deals weed, does harder stuff as well, possibly deals it too. How do I stay on the right side of the law?"} {"id": "t3_1kvsh6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20M] seek some advice about a crush [19F] what to do next?", "post": "I've known this girl for a few years now, and when we first met we almost went out with each other. We talked often, were affectionate to each other and later down the line shared a kiss or two. For a reason I'm not sure of, we talked less as the days went by, then we just became friends.\n\nAfter a couple of years of general chat every week or so, and after moving back to where I used to live, I bumped into her at a bar, and we talked for a while and I was attracted to her again. We've talked since then via FB, now I'm thinking I should get her number and ask her out.\n\nBUT since I bumped into her, I asked her to go out on a date and she didn't give me an answer, instead asking something else. If you guys want to know what she said, I'll gladly oblige.\n\nI really like this girl. And from what signals she's given me, she likes me too, but, I'm not sure how much. I want to push for a date, but I feel asking outright will make her weird about things. How can I subtly ask her out? And how can I come up with an engaging conversation via FB chat?\n\nThanks!", "summary": "I like this girl, I want to ask her out, but in an indirect way. Had past attraction, but there were some long periods without contact."} {"id": "t3_p53i7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Stickers are still awesome! Right?", "post": "Hey, all. Long time lurker here (and I'll probably go back to it for months to come until I'm done here / get enough help).\nAlso, I love stickers. Like shirts, I believe stickers are a great way to express one-self.\nSo... I've been looking into stickers for my laptop to put on to show people what kind of person I am. The thing is, I have enough as is already, but I have this one big spot open for a specific sticker I can't seem to find. The specific sticker I'm talking about is more like something I want to say to the people who look at my sticker(s).\nI basically want a sticker that says, \"I encourage you to interact with me\".\nWhile I am not home or with friends, I WILL wear headphones (even if my mp3 player is dead or not. Its comforting for me to wear them. Like a pair of socks) 95% of the time. I find that discourages most people to even converse with me. I'm also a silent type until someone sparks a conversation (in which I will not shut up till we have to. I'm very open minded).", "summary": "I was wondering if there's such a sticker out there or a website where you can make custom stickers with text or maybe certain graphical images."} {"id": "t3_4d6nzd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 F] am 16 weeks pregnant and I don't know how to tell my parents I am pregnant and that its not my boyfriends kid.", "post": "about a month into mine and my boyfriends relationship i cheated on him with a friend of mine after i got drunk and we didnt use a condom or anything and then about 8 or 9 weeks ago I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive and I know that the kid isn't my boyfriends (19)because we have been careful to use contraception. \n\nI have told my boyfriend what I did and he has kinda forgiven me and he said he will try and help be there for me and the kid and i know that must be real hard for him. \n\nI just need help in how to tell my parents that i am pregnant as i dont want them to figure it out for themselves and should i tell them that its not my boyfriends kid or not? I feel that they will be disappointed in me and angry especially if i tell them that its not my boyfriends but i need to tell them cause i want help and support from them. So how can I make the conversation I have with them easier.", "summary": "I (F 17) am 16 weeks pregnant and its not my boyfriends kid how do i tell my parents i am pregnant and should i tell them its not my boyfriends?"} {"id": "t3_3t6tzq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19f] boyfriend [19m] wants to go on overnight retreat with girls I've never met", "post": "Hi all. This is weird, but I'll give it a go.\nMy boyfriend of a year and three months wants to go on an overnight retreat with his club (co-ed, obviously). \nI am a little uncomfortable with this. \n\nFirst, he hid it from me for about a week. His excuse was that he had midterms and didn't want to stress himself out. Okay. However, then a few more days passed, he paid for the retreat, and still didn't even mention it's existence. Finally, he told me face to face, a week before the trip, that he was going and that was that. I felt as though this should have been mentioned at least when he first heard about it, if only to keep me in the loop of his life. It is odd to plan a trip without mentioning it to your s/o.\n\nNext, I have never met any of these club members.\nFinally, we have not spent very much time together recently. We are semi-long distance, living about an hour away at different universities. We have spent maybe two days together the past three weeks. \n\nI actually said he should go, even though he says he understands if I wouldn't want him to. I have not always been the most understanding person in our past. I am trying very hard to be understanding and trusting. However, I'm not sure where the line between being understanding and putting myself way to far out of my comfort zone ends/begins. \n\nPlease let me know if this is something I should be unfazed by.", "summary": "boyfriend wants to go on a retreat with his co-ed club, not sure if I should be worried for many reasons"} {"id": "t3_qymny", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "Hi there, I'm a lurker, just coming out for some advice on staying motivated while I'm exercising.", "post": "I hope it's ok to ask for advice. My problem is about staying motivated while I'm in the act of exercising. Getting myself to the point where I'm exercising isn't too hard, but doing it for prolonged periods of time is what I'm worried about.\n\nI'm 21, 5'9'' and weigh 145. I'm maybe a couple pounds overweight for my height (I think), so my goal is mostly to tone up and get more energy 'cos I'm a lazy person. I shouldn't say lazy but introverted - I like reading, drawing, playing video games. This ties into my problem because I find that I get bored very easily while working out. Not even that tired, just bored because I feel my mind going blank. I feel the need to be doing something with my brain while I am working out, and the reduced blood flow to my brain makes me feel strangely unoccupied. It almost feels like I am wasting time, even though exercise is obviously a great use of my time.\n\nI work out 30 mins tops most of the time, and most of the reading I've been doing suggests I should be doing it for an hour or two per day. I would like help on this because I am trying to build good habits. Does anyone have a similar experience? Any advice is appreciated.", "summary": "I need advice on how to keep myself from feeling what I imagine is a false sense of boredom while I am exercising."} {"id": "t3_53de3e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[22/f] long distance boyfriend [21/m] has moved in with 6 other girls and I feel a little uncomfortable with the situation, need help on overcoming jealousy issues", "post": "To start off i understand this might be perceived as a little petty but i would really love some genuine advice on the situation.\n\nA little backstory, my current boyfriend has just started at a new University for his second degree, we have been together for 1 & half year and met during his first degree.\n\nBefore him i also had a long term relationship with my ex who upon arriving at his university, broke up with me because he wanted to sleep with his housemate. \n\nMy current boyfriend has just moved into a flat in London with 6 other girls who also attend his University although none of them know each other prior to moving in.\n\nI know it will sound horrendously petty and due to insecurities and horrible experiences i had with my ex i am extremely scared i will be jealous of my boyfriend living with 6 girls. \n\nHe is 21 whereas everyone else is 18 and there have been incidences in the past where slightly younger girls approached him because they were interested in him. \n\nI feel a little uncomfortable with the situation and although i do trust him, we will be in a long distance relationship and I don't want to be a jealous girlfriend causing problems in our relationship.\n\nSince moving in (2 days ago) he has already been somewhat distance and despite being paranoid, i feel our relationship is changing. He has become a lot less empathetic in how i'm feeling about the situation and there has already been an incident where he was in a situation where girls were express an interest in him. \n\nUltimately, i love him and he has never been unfaithful to me in the past nor has he treated me badly but i want to maintain a healthy relationship and even if there isn't anything substantial to worry about i'd like to find a way to cope with any potential jealous issues. I'd be super grateful for any advice :)", "summary": "boyfriend moved to a new university, living with 6 girls and i feel insecure and uncomfortable with the situation due to a similar experience with an ex who broke up with me as as result."} {"id": "t3_tuccm", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do you deal with an asshole? What's your go-to comeback?", "post": "My boyfriend has a friend that is a HUGE asshole to me. He's a 350 pound womanizing asshole. I bring up his weight because he's CONSTANTLY saying how fat some women are and how he'd never \"do\" them (the last girl he said this about was 5'8 and 160). He always says rude things to me and I'm wondering what does reddit do to blow off a jerk? \n\nI'll give a really quick example: We were all leaving a restaurant (my bf, him, me), and my boyfriend tells me to show him my teeth. I figured I had something in my teeth. The \"friend\" laughs and says \"she's so stupid\", talking about me. I'm completely baffled at this moment and had NO idea how to respond. I need great comebacks and stories to motivate me on how to stand up to this jerk! \n\nAlso, before anyone says anything, I ask my boyfriend to NOT stand up for me unless things get ridiculous. The story I just told, he told the guy to never talk to me like that again and we just left even though we were supposed to meet at a party later. It seems like when my bf stands up for me, this guy just picks on me even more when we're alone. Mind you, I'm 21, my bf is 25, and this guy is 24. It sounds like I'm describing middle schoolers, ha. I just want to know what you guys do to deal with the jerks in your life!\n\nBackground info about the guy for potential comebacks: He's 350 pounds. He's a virgin, but acts like a badass know-it-all when it comes to sex. He's never had a real girlfriend. He thinks he's the funniest person in the world and he's NOT. His favorite website is memebase if that sums it up for you", "summary": "My boyfriend's friend is a jerk to me. I want to know good comebacks and any stories you guys have about jerks in your life to give me motivation/dialogue to stand up to him."} {"id": "t3_3v4ag8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24F] boyfriend [27M] just came out to me as bisexual", "post": "I need help trying to gauge my feelings. \n\nI have been dating Logan for five months. I'm just going to be blunt, a lot of people think he is gay just because a lot of his personality fits the stereotype. He himself has told me that he knows people think this about him. \n\nI never questioned him because he genuinely cares about me and our sex is amazing.\n\nHowever, last week, Logan came out to me and said he was bisexual. He has hooked up and dated boys in the past. Telling me this, he said, in no way changes how he feels about me. \n\nWhen he told me this, I felt like everything I had been so self conscious about before came to life. I already know what people think of me: that I'm an oblivious girl who is clearly dating a gay guy. \n\nAnd this is the part that's really fucking with me: I'm less attracted to him now. This is on a purely primal and sexual level (I am of course a huge gay rights supporter and all that, this has nothing to do with being homophobic) but I'm just not turned on when he touches me anymore, because my mind keeps ruminating on the fact that he's also been with other guys. \n\nIs that horrible? It's kind of like how I don't watch gay porn because it doesn't turn me on. When he tries to fuck me, I think of how he has fucked other guys, and I can't get turned on. \n\nI just don't know what to do.", "summary": "My boyfriend, who everyone thinks is gay, just came out to me as bisexual. I don't know what to do, and I am also not turned on having sex with him anymore."} {"id": "t3_3hx7tk", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "[Vent] So frustrated right now.", "post": "To preface: I've been working with my dog I adopted 6 months ago on leash manners, dealing with distractions and not pulling. He's 75 lbs and pulled me down several times when I first got him. He's worlds better, but still has triggers. \n\nWalking in my neighborhood tonight I ran across one of my more eccentric neighbors, Donna. Donna has a drinking problem and we've run into her before on walks. She is sometimes in her front yard and will scream at my dog to come there, usually when she is holding one of her cats. I've explained REPEATEDLY that Jethro is cat aggressive and usually I have to drag him away while she yells that he just wants to say hello. No, he wants to eat your cat. \n\nTonight she did it again, no cat. When I stopped and held him, she walked over to \"instruct\" me on training him. She grabbed his collar and jerked while screaming at him to sit. I removed her hand, told her I had it under control and left. \n\nShe just showed up at my back door as I was letting him out, drunker than she was when I saw her earlier. She proceeded to go into the gate of my yard as I asked her not to and start grabbing for my dog as she is spouting C\u00e9sar Milan crap at me about being an alpha. She grabbed his collar and started yanking on him again screaming at him to sit. He sat. Shit, I would've been so scared I would have sat down too. By this time, I get down to the yard and she is all but laying on my dog, hugging him. He is clearly uncomfortable and starts barking at her as she keeps telling me, \"See? He's so happy!\"\n\nI grabbed his collar and told her to get the fuck out of my yard and to never touch or talk to my dog again. I am so furious I'm shaking, and Jethro is clearly freaked out.", "summary": "drunk neighbor tried to tell me how to train my dog by physically assaulting and probably emotionally traumatizing my dog. I know I'm traumatized."} {"id": "t3_44cxmn", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "I [18M] don't know what happened to me during class today", "post": "Age: 18\n\nSex: Male\n\nHeight: 6 foot\n\nWeight: 175\n\nRace: White\n\nDuration of complaint: About 10 minutes\n\nLocation (Geographic and on body): Head, legs\n\nAny existing relevant medical issues (if any): Keratosis Pilaris. I don't think that's relevant, but better to just say anyway.\n\nCurrent medications (if any): None\n\nToday during my chemistry lecture my professor was not there. My TA put on videos that the professor told him to put on of the effects of radioactivity like in Polygon. I was fine until they showed a solider that had PTSD getting his arm ready for dope and they showed him giving himself heroine. I'm generally ok needles (I have immediate family that is a type 1 diabetic so I see blood and needles everyday). This more than just scared or disturbed me. I started extremely sweating and took off my hoodie and put my head down on my desk as I couldn't sit up. My legs were very weak and I probably couldn't walk if I tried. Then my head started going crazy and there was a lot of yelling and talking and it seemed very real (but no one was talking during the video for real). It got very loud then went away on it's own in a couple minutes. The loud part was the worst symptom. I'm fine now, but I don't know what happened to me and if it will happen again. I can picture the heroine being injected now just like in the video and not feel bad at all.\n\nThanks for any help in advance.", "summary": "Disturbing video made me sweat, weak legs, yelling going on in head. Don't know what happened to me."} {"id": "t3_42qmo1", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Finally got diet and exercise under control. Struggling with sleep. Help?", "post": "So I've never been a great sleeper. As a kid, I would stay up half the night reading just because I loved to read so much, but then struggle to stay awake during class. It seems these are habits I haven't grown out of as an adult. Whether I'm actively trying to get to sleep or staying up to read, I can easily stay up most of the night and not fall asleep until a couple hours before I need to be awake for work - thus making my work days a struggle. This has absolutely played into my weight issues, as evidenced by my late-night bored and mindless eating when I can't sleep. My doctor told me sleep would get easier as I get fitter, but I don't think it's working. Getting to sleep seems to have only gotten worse over the last month or so while I'm actively losing weight and eating significantly better, only now instead of late-night binging, I just lay there obsessing about food for the next day. Has anyone else struggled with sleep, and even moreso when trying to get fit?", "summary": "Chronic insomniac for most of my life, and getting fit is not helping me get more sleep. In fact, I'm usually getting less sleep. Please help."} {"id": "t3_12wp18", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "my boyfriend of 2 years (18m) and I (19f) have been broken up for 2 months, something got in the way and now he won't speak to me. reddit, i have some questions.", "post": "so my boyfriend and I were dating for 2 years and suddenly broke up 2 months ago for reasons that are not necessary to this story. we spoke every day since, talking about getting back together and working things out and giving things another chance. About a week ago, he met this girl who everyone says is nothing compared to me, and let's just say she's a little over the top crazy (no, i'm not just saying this. she literally has issues; she was in our group of friends once and showed us all that side of her) and suddenly he didn't want me anymore and has stopped speaking to me since, and hasn't answered any of my messages to him. That was literally only a little over a week ago, and they have already had sex and speak everyday as though they are seeing each other. I guess my question here for everyone is, is she just a rebound or does he actually like her and will he come crawling back?", "summary": "boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me, we spoke about getting back together but changed his mind overnight after meeting this girl who was in our group of friends once."} {"id": "t3_28puaa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [24f] worried about my boyfriend [21m] of 3 years being overly interested in coworker", "post": "Me and my boyfriend were looking through the part of facebook that shows who you've been searching and I didn't like what I saw. He has been looking up this one particular girl he works with multiple times a week for months now. He hasn't been looking up anyone else more than once in the months I looked at. He's not close to her or anything and she never posts anything (her last post was months ago) so I'm having trouble grasping the reason he's looking her up so obsessively. \n\nHe says he doesn't want to be with her or anything, that he's just more interested in her than anyone else he works with because she's quiet and mysterious. He just wants to learn more about her. This didn't make me feel better, he has people he's pretty close to that he works with and the fact that he's more interested in her than anyone else makes me uneasy. The fact that she doesn't post much makes it even weirder, he'd have seen everything there is to see the first 2 visits tops. Yet he keeps coming back. \n\nHe thinks I'm being crazy, but I feel this is weird. So basically I just want to know if this is something I should be worried about or if this is normal.", "summary": "My boyfriend has been looking up female coworker's facebook profile a lot for the past few months and says he's just really interested in her because she's quiet. Is this normal?"} {"id": "t3_x674m", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Not sure how to make this not vague...one guy who likes me is trying to turn me against guy I'm dating?", "post": "Yeah...so I'm 21F, dating a guy (let's call him Bob) who has been in Russia all summer for an internship. He's originally from Belarus but has been in the US for most of his life. Before he left we had been dating about a month but things were going great. We said we'd \"pick up where we left off\" when he got back, so technically no commitment. I, however, didn't want to mess anything up so I stayed loyal. He seems to have done the same since when I asked him to be sure and get tested if needed, he said I had nothing to worry about. \n\nNow another guy (Joe), who I dated for a short period but who ultimately screwed up his chance (I am still friends with him since I enjoy talking to him), has been messing with my head. Bob tells me how much he loves Russia, doesn't want to come back except to see me. Joe says there's no way he loves Russia unless he's \"getting European pussy.\" Says a man doesn't love a place unless he's getting sex. I should add that Bob isn't always the most forward with his feelings and comments on a page with scantily dressed women on Facebook, where everyone can see. Now that he's coming back in a week, he's been more vocal about saying he misses me and can't wait to spend time with me. Joe says he's just saying those things to \"butter me up\" to ensure that my \"arms and legs will be wide open.\" \n\nBasically Joe thinks I'm being blind and disrespected. I have a tendency to defend those I'm dating. Thoughts? Slap in the face? Let me hear it. Don't worry, I plan on talking to Bob when he gets back. And I've told Joe to stop talking to me.", "summary": "Guy I'm dating is coming back from Russia. Guy I used to date thinks he's been sleeping around and lying about it. Am I being blind?"} {"id": "t3_uos9b", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Little bummed out. Denied for a 15k car loan. Keep trying?", "post": "So I've been looking for a new car for about a year now. Finally found one I like. Made sure I could afford the monthly payments with generic loan calculators online. Well today I applied online at a local credit union only to be called back an hour later saying I was declined. Reason being I have \"too recent\" of a delinquent student loan payment. She also said that was all she had to go by. Well I called my student loan company. Last time I was delinquent was in Jan of 2011 with a 30 day late payment. Otherwise I'm completely current. \n\nI'm a little frustrated that she said my student loans were the only type of credit she saw. 12 years ago I got a small loan for my first car and in 2009 I got a secured credit card to establish and better my credit. I had it for 12 months and is now closed. \n\nMy credit score in in the 680 range, I know that doesn't mean a whole lot in terms of loan approvals but I'm sure they take in some consideration. \n\nAm I really too much of a risk for $15k? I'm a little bummed out about this. Should I try another credit union to seek approval? I know my credit takes a small hit when doing this so I don't want to waste my time and credit trying multiple places looking for approval if I'm going to get the same answer.", "summary": "Thought I had a decent shot at getting a used car loan, got shot down. Do I continue looking for approval at other credit unions/banks?"} {"id": "t3_1ovcg4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20f] need help. My boyfriend [26m] will not communicate with me, and our relationship is practically over because of it.", "post": "***Important", "summary": "My boyfriend let something bother him for so long, that now he doesn't feel the same about us anymore, but he literally WILL NOT talk to me about the situation."} {"id": "t3_etsvf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Civilization V won't give an install screen when disk is inserted into drive. What do I do?", "post": "I've used two different PC's that are able to run Civilization V, and both read the disk, yet never give me an install screen to move the process along. The demo runs fine on my PC, so I don't think the specs are an issue; especially since that has nothing to do with the installation.\n\nI'm inclined to think it is something with my disk, but before I take action, I'd like to make sure I'm not overlooking an obvious step that I have not yet taken. Please help! I've been waiting to play this game for so long =p\n\nOh yeah, and Gamestop claims that they will not except returned PC games when opened because it is easy copy the game, and then just return it....even though they're return policy explicitly states that opened games can be returned for an exact copy of that game. They told me to email the manufacturer of the game.", "summary": "Civilzation V won't let me install on either PC's I have. Gamestop won't swap it for a copy, regardless of condition and want me to email manufacturer. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_10jpgz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "College redditers, are any of you feeling as though most of your credits or other requirements are for the benefit of your school rather than your future? If so what situation has made you feel this way?", "post": "In contrast, if you haven't felt that way feel free to share what your college/university has done for you that has created a major, positive change in your life. I would love to hear some pleasant stories as well.\n\n I'll start with my own experience. At the (minor) risk of being identified I will avoid sharing too many details. \n\n I'm currently attending a four year university after just transferring from a two year college. I was very excited when I scored surprisingly high on a placement test for a subject directly related to my major. This later turned into a bad thing as I discovered I still owed credits for the four classes that I had tested out of (20+ credits). Other classes that I could earn these credits in are less related to the subject and are worth half the credits of the normally required classes. This means I will have to take eight classes in the subject instead of four. \n\n I asked myself why the school did this and I could not think of how this would benefit me. I asked my adviser why and was told that's just the way it is. The school would get more money, I would attend longer, and they would be able to claim to have contributed to a larger chunk of my education. How does this help me at all? \n\n I considered studying abroad in a place where I could earn the credits by taking more advanced classes in the subject instead. However, I was told that as a new transfer student it would be preferable (likely required but I haven't found out yet) that I have more credits at that school so I am more established there. Again I thought about why this is. I can't see how this would benefit anyone other than the university. \n\n I know it is idealistic to think that students shouldn't have to contribute to their school in some way but we are paying for it at least.", "summary": "I have to earn credits in classes I tested out of and would have been better off coming into the school without knowing anything about what I am majoring in."} {"id": "t3_2w329q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Thoughts on my ex [26M] of 3 years, cheating on his current gf [19F] with me [26F] but here's the kicker.", "post": "So my ex of 3 years has cheated on his current gf with me a few times. One time she found out. They fought but are still together in a now rocky relationship. She hates me and won't let us see each other . But he still does and still cheats on her. But here's the kicker I have herpes. Neither of them do. He's putting her as risk all the time. He is ok with the fact I have it and knows the risks. But she is at risk and knew she was the first time she found out he cheated. But he continues. Any thoughts on this. To mean it seams like he doesn't give two shits about her. Thoughts?\n\nI don't think telling her will get any where cus she is a little crazy and will think I'm just telling lies to get her to leave him. \n\nPlease no lectures about how I should drop him like a rock because that won't be happening since we are business partners and I would loose way to much to stop working with him and please no lectures on how I should just stop sleeping with him I know this shit. \n\nI just wanna know your thoughts on whats the point of him doing this is. \n\nAlso here's a little context to give you an idea of what kind of relationship me and him had. \nFrom the beginning of the relationship we where in an open relationship and we were allowed to sleep with other people any time we wanted, so first of all I don't care if he cheats on her. But she wants a closed relationship with him and he says he will for he but doesn't.", "summary": "I need your thoughts on why my ex would put his gf at risk for an std by cheating on her with me."} {"id": "t3_479hhx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M/20] suspect that my [F/20] girlfriend's male best friend [M/20] has feelings for her.", "post": "I have been dating my girlfriend Sarah for almost a year. She has a male best friend, John, with whom she is very close, but it hasn't proved to be a problem in our relationship, so I was pretty ok with it. I don't hang out with any other girls one on one, but that's just because I'm in a major with very few females, so most of my friends are guys.\n \nEvery time I've met John, he's seemed friendly, but he is always somewhat short with me. He constantly texts and snapchats Sarah, except when he knows she and I are together, in which case he just stops. He also doesn't seem to like being around us when we're together, because he is awkward and looks somewhat uncomfortable. In the past when we've all gone out together he has tried to subtly assert just how well he knows Sarah in a way that seems competitive/confrontational. \n\n John has been on and off with one of his previous girlfriends since the time I started dating Sarah, but he can't seem to make anything stick. Sarah says it's because he just can't get over his ex, but I suspect that he might not be able to commit to anyone else because he has feelings for Sarah.\n\nNow the kicker is that next semester Sarah is planning on getting a single person apartment that is literally directly beside John's apartment, which she is excited about because they're good friends. This makes me uncomfortable, but not because I don't trust my girlfriend. I totally trust Sarah, and she is by no means a flirty or overly sexual person anyway. It's John that I dont really trust, and I think that for whatever reason she can't see or accept that he might have feelings for her. \n\nMy girlfriend doesn't know that I feel this way about John, because I know that she firmly believes that they have a platonic relationship (she may be right), and I think she might accuse me of being jealous or possessive if i tell her. \n\nIs it wrong for me to be feeling uncomfortable about this? Am I being jealous/possessive/controlling, or do I have any legitimate reason for concern?", "summary": "Girlfriend has guy best friend that I think might have feelings for her. Am I being jealous/possessive for being concerned?"} {"id": "t3_2d2m2z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17M] got dumped by my [17F] girlfriend of 5 months", "post": "She broke up with me on the 3rd through text and we're in different countries right now, we'll be around each other after summer though.\nbasically i was an asshole and didn't treat her the best i could.\n\nIt's been 2 weeks of no contact, but on the 3rd august she told me \"talk to me on the 16th\". Now I don't know why she told me to contact her, but I'm not sure if I should. I've been working on myself for these 2 weeks and overall becoming a better person and trying to love myself again. Right now, I can follow my mind, and I'm sure that if I get back with her I can be the person she deserves.\n\nMy question is, should I contact her on the 16th ? Should I wait for her to contact me ? I'm at the point where I can live without her, but I still see our relationship working better around this time which is why I wanna give it a shot.", "summary": "getting my ex back, dont know if i should wait for her to contact me, she told me to contact her on the 16th but im not sure what to do"} {"id": "t3_3rypxn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "24m trying to survive my 20's as all my college friends are moving away", "post": "I've been out of school for a year now but more and more of my friends have been moving away. I do live with one of my best college friends and we hang out and stuff and we have some friends who've stuck around but I really only hang out if my roommate makes the plans. He's a social butterfly - plays in 2 bands and 2 hockey teams. I'm more introverted - I like my down time, especially on weekdays as my teaching job keeps me busy. I know for a fact I don't have that kind of energy to maintain those commitments. \n\nI know you'll just say find a hobby but I'm just not really interested in specific stuff - I kinda just like chilling not anything specific like playing hockey or music. I have a girlfriend and the relationship is great because it's not one where it drains on my free time to meet other people, I just don't know where to start. \n\nI'm kind of a contradiction - I talk for a living conversing with students but I just don't like to be the center of attention and start conversations at a bar or whatever. \n\nI live in a midsize city so finding people is no issue it's just finding stuff that I want to do within the short precious weekend time I have. \n\nAny suggestions would be awesome to get over this seemingly typical mid 20s funk. Thanks", "summary": "in my 20s but friends from colleged have moved or are moving. 1 roommate whose more social. looking for easy ways to branch out that don't involve me undertaking some big new hobby"} {"id": "t3_4uyyky", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I date someone who's moving overseas for 2 years?", "post": "So, I (22F) recently met an a guy (22M) who's in the Air Force. We've been talking for about 3 weeks now and things are going pretty smoothly. He's nice, funny, and really sweet. Although I only see him on the weekends (he has a curfew), he goes out of his way just to make me happy and does the sweetest gestures. \n\nAnyways, he's going to be stationed in Italy for 2 year within the next 3 weeks. He asked me to be his girlfriend but I'm not sure what to do. He's never had a real girl friend so I'm worried that he won't accept me for who I am but rather the idea of who I could be. Plus, long distance will be very hard because I feel like the only way long distance works is with a strong foundation and we don't have that yet. \n\nI guess what I'm asking is should I give him a chance or should I just move on since he's moving away?", "summary": "Guy is moving to Italy for 2 years in 3 weeks and we only met 3 weeks ago. Should I give him a chance or cut my losses to avoid a heart break?"} {"id": "t3_3a1w4l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm[21/M] debating if I should tell my crush [21/F] how I feel despite knowing she's seeing someone", "post": "So here's my situation. \n\nThere's this girl I like from college. We're both friends, we sat together during every class in the semester, we sometimes go out drinking with other friends, and occasionally talk via social media (Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, etc.) I can certainly say I have a crush on her but I don't think she sees me as anything more than a friend despite some occasions where it would seem we were \"clicking\". \n\nI mulled over about confronting her and telling her but opted not to since we're both going to study abroad in an exchange program from August to January; and you guys know how long distance \"relationships\" usually workout. However, I'm just finding out she has been going out with one of her other friends (Best friend's cousin to be exact. No, I'm not a stalker) and it appears to be getting serious. \n\nThere's this party- more of a reunion really- on Friday and we're both going to and we'll be staying the night. Considering how \"hurt\" I was when I found out about the other guy, I think this is starting to be a bit more than just a crush and I feel I should let her know before it's too late. \n\nSo the question is Reddit: should I go all Jim Halpert from The Office and just let her know or am I just going to ruin things? \n\nI've already paid the price before for not telling someone how I feel about them and worst case scenario is we won't see each other anyways during the next six months.", "summary": "Crush is seeing someone else and I want to tell her how I feel before we both leave the country to study abroad."} {"id": "t3_3pz8kz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (26F) recently began dating a guy (30M) who has less money than me and it visibly bothers him, how do I handle?", "post": "I (26F) recently started dating a guy, 30M, let's call him James. We've been seeing each other only about a month. \n\nI really like him. He is so funny, so smart, and treats me really well. \n\nThe issue is money. He has a low paying job right now and lives paycheck to paycheck; for example an unexpected $30 bill would put his acct in the negative. In contrast I have a full time job that pays me moderately well for my experience level, and I have several grand in savings (not a huge amount but I'm proud of it), always enough food in the fridge, gas in the tank, etc. Dropping $50 on a night out once or twice a week isn't a big deal to my finances, although I am trying to cut back on that sort of thing. \n\nI don't care that he doesn't have as much money as me, but he gets weird about me paying for stuff. I feel like I can't suggest doing anything that costs money without causing him stress. Example: I stay over and when we wake up the next morning I wanna go out to breakfast. He is visibly torn between wanting to make me happy by going out and wanting to avoid a situation that costs money. I've suggested cooking breakfast together but that doesn't seem to make him happy either since we would still have to buy ingredients (he like doesn't eat on his own...). Also, sometimes I want to be able to go out to eat or to a movie or concert etc. \n\nI just want to spend time with him, and I don't mind paying for our activities. But I don't know how to discuss it without emasculating him. \n\nAs a side note, his total lack of money is hopefully temporary due to some family legal issues that happened almost a year ago that I don't wanna get into here. He's not a deadbeat so I don't want that to be the topic of discussion, i have faith in his ambitions/ future earning potential etc.", "summary": "Dating a guy who is broke but doesn't want me to pay for things, how do I handle it to not hurt his feelings"} {"id": "t3_1ur29o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ex dumped me over a year ago and i cant get over her (UK) i need advice", "post": "hi,\nso my ex finished me over a year ago. im still in love with her\nshe was severely depressed for the 4.5 years we were together, and she told me that it was my fault when she finished me.\n\nI was depppresed when she left and even though my life has become better (new job in london, flat, car, new GF) I still feel hurt and lonely without her. I have nightmares about her every night. i wake up in tears most nights. i think of her every day. she was my soul mate.\n\ni havent had contact with her since may 2013. her last txt basially told me to fuck off\n\nwe were in love and now she doesnt love me.\nit hurts.\n\ni just need to know if anyone else has been through this. does the pain stop? I miss her so much.", "summary": "Ex dumped me over a year ago after a long relationship. life has moved on but I still love her, any advice on how to cope/get over her. does it go away?"} {"id": "t3_2jwka6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 F] have a bad dependent personality and it's causing problems in my relationships", "post": "I have always had a dependent personality and I am the type of person who gets addicted to and/or obsessed with things very easily. I get depressed when I have to be alone or go a period of time without seeing my friends or family. \n\nRecently I started dating my first boyfriend and things were going great and I was happy until almost 2 months later when he broke up with me out of the blue (\"no emotional connection,\" he said). This nearly fucking killed me because, like I said, I had become dependent on him and I fell very fast.\n\nNow I'm starting to feel depressed again and I fucking hate it. I don't know what to do. I really need to fix my issues because I'm scared that they're going to effect my future relationships. And I always feel like I'm annoying my friends because it seems like I have to be around them all the time. \n\nWhat do I do? I'd really like to avoid any kind of medication if at all possible.", "summary": "My dependent personality causes problems in my relationships and I always feel like I'm annoying my friends because I always need to be around them. I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_redql", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Want to get over worrying that my BF might like his female friend more than me. Advice?", "post": "We're in our 20's, been together for about a year, very happy and loving 90% of the time. The problems we do have once in a while stem from both of us being easily jealous. We almost broke up a few months ago because of a male friend of mine and jealousy we thought we couldn't get passed. I listened to advice and cut my hanging out with male friends, and now I hang out with guys on rare occasions. He still asks occasionally about this or that friend- have I contacted him, etc., but for the most part I know his trust in me has grown and I feel lucky that things worked out.\n\nOn his end, he has an attractive female friend that I used to feel super insecure and jealous about. They would go out drinking, and text, and I feared that he liked her more than me. Found out she wasn't telling her BF when she hung out with my BF, which seemed sketchy. Because her boyfriend objected, they stopped drinking together and my boyfriend told me the texting was minimal, and I've been feeling happier and more secure. Might be kind of fucked up that I'd feel good about it since he said it made him sad that they were not spending as much time together, but for me getting coffee once in a while is way better than going out drinking without SO's.\n\nSo his birthday is coming up, I'm making him a gift, and he told me last night that when he visited the store she works at she told him she's making him something too. I'm over the other stuff, but I feel like her making a handmade gift is intimidating. I don't want their friendship or this gift to be an issue for me, how do I get my mind to stop thinking about it?", "summary": "How do I get over feeling jealous of my boyfriend's friendship with another girl and the handmade birthday gift she's making him?"} {"id": "t3_d7whb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Okay Reddit, I know you can help me out on this one...Need help identifying a bug found on my bed.", "post": "Okay, so here's the low down. I'm on my bed loafing when this bug mother fucker crawls up my arm. I'm naturally terrified even though he can't be more than a quarter inch long, so I scoop him up with some toilet paper and set him aside (he's still alive). \n \nI'm mostly concerned because recently I have been having an uncomfortable rash, which my doctor told me was most likely [this] I fit all the symptoms perfectly, so I am fairly certain this is what I have.\n \nHOWEVER, part of me still fears bed bugs being responsible for this rash... So essentially this is why I am more concerned than usual to find a bug on my bed. NOW, I took the best picture I could of it considering I only have a crappy webcam, view it [here] \n \nMy description? He's about 1/4 inch long, 4-6 legs (not sure because he's tiny and I'm blind), thin, narrow body, it has 2 antennas and what appears to be a tiny stinger or something of that sort at the bottom of his body. \n \nAlso, this is a throwaway. I don't want rashes and bugs to be associated to my main account because I'm weird like that... I'm fairly sure it isn't a bed bug, but I'm still curious to find out what he actually is... So give me your best guess, Reddit!", "summary": "Bug spotted on bed, I'm worried, 1/4 inch long, thin, antennas, brown... Help me?"} {"id": "t3_2m8nwn", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Hey ladies of AskWomen, I need opinions on whether I should confess something to a female friend...", "post": "Just a bit of background before I go any further. I'm 18 (male) currently, and she's 19 (not that age should matter). We've known each other for 9 years, and are about halfway through year 10 of having been friends. Now, for these past 9 years, I've been in love with her. At first I thought it was just one of those \"School-ground\" crushes that come and go, but every year, she's been there in my mind and my heart. I've tried to push it down, but it keeps coming back. \nNow, I know that I should tell her, but there's a few things holding me back. First, we've been friends for such a long time, that I don't want to end it by opening up to her. Second, there was one time where someone asked if we were a couple when we were out for a lunch, and she just laughed saying \"No.\" a fair number of times. This was a couple of years ago, but it's still there in my head. We had a few one on one moments this last summer before she left for college, and it ended with a hug that went a fair bit longer than the \"just friends\" hug that I get from a lot of my other friends. Should I proceed and tell her how I feel, or should I bottle it up?", "summary": "I've known this girl for a long time, and we're both good friends. Should I tell her how I feel, and risk ending it?"} {"id": "t3_3ookze", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Unsure of how to connect with girls.", "post": "I am a 21 year old male college student and have never had a serious girlfriend. It's not a problem of looks or even meeting people. Honestly, girls give me their numbers all the time and I have a nasty habit of sloppily making out with random girls on weekends (which I have made a point of not doing anymore).\n\nLately I just can't help but feel kind of lonely. I just have a problem connecting with people. I don't know how to talk to them after I've met them. I always have really shallow text conversations with the girls who I meet and it all just feels forced to me.\n\nThere's always a \"haha\" thrown in there even if nothing funny was said. I don't ever know how to initiate conversation that isn't just a random \"Hey, what's up\" and even after I send that text I never know where to go from there. I really don't know how to show a girl that I'm interested in her without feeling like a creep.\n\nNow, there's a girl I met last week at a concert who gave me her number. We've had one or two text conversations but nothing too extensive. I've gotten to this point with a lot of girls and I always just stop talking to them because I feel like I have nothing interesting to say. I just don't know where to go from here, any advice would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "I meet a lot of girls out, they give me their number, I stop talking to them because I feel like I have nothing interesting to say."} {"id": "t3_42t1zj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [23/F] worried about my dad's [54/M] eating habits and think he may have an eating disorder.", "post": "So, for starters, my dad has been vegan since before I was born. This is not a problem -- me and my mother and sisters are vegan too. He practices it differently from me in that he refuses any processed foods and is very strict about ingredients like beetle in food dye, bone char in sugar, etc., so what he eats is already very restricted. He's always been intensely health-conscious and practices yoga and Pilates, biking, as well as doing strength training and other programs.\n\nHe often gets into specific \"fad\" diets for periods of time, which are always a bit worrying, especially considering that he's extremely thin and still expresses that he thinks he's fat.\n\nMost worryingly, he's been on a raw diet for about a year, and he's thinner than ever. And now on top of that, he's doing \"intermittent fasting,\" which means four days a week, he only eats 500 calories all day (and doesn't eat until dinner time).\n\nI've talked to him about what I think about his diet, but he's fully convinced he's being extremely healthy and this diet will increase longevity and prevent cancer. But he's bone-thin and he doesn't seem satisfied with that -- he wants to push further. I think fasting is also a spiritual practice for him, as he seems to see it as a way to test his willpower and mindfulness.\n\nFor me, it looks like orthorexia or even anorexia. I understand that intermittent fasting can be healthy for some, but he doesn't need to lose weight and simply isn't getting enough calories. I can't exactly force him to change, and anytime I bring it up, he brings up studies he's read, programs he's watched, etc., that convince him what he's doing is healthy. I'm convinced these studies and programs are more relevant for people who are overweight and need to burn fat, and that at this point he should actually be concerned about having enough fat on his body as he transitions into old age (both his mother and father have trouble with appetite and are far too thin).\n\nWhat can I do in this situation?", "summary": "my dad likes fad diets and is far too thin, now on a raw diet for a year+ and doing intermittent fasting. Won't listen to me and thinks his diet is very healthy. How can I stop this?"} {"id": "t3_2oie9l", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[18/m] Falling for my high school friend [18/f]; Don't know what to do", "post": "Some background info: I'm in college, 18, no girlfriends yet. It takes time for me to like someone enough to where I want to pursue them. I only pursued one girl in high school. Throughout high school, I was plagued by the \"friend zone\" and my introverted nature. Needless to say, my pursuit was fruitless.\n \nRecently, I have reconnected with a friend from my class. She goes to the same college as me now. Back in high school we had a great relationship; We both played on the tennis team and took most of our classes together. I was open with her since freshman year about advice on how to pursue my crush, and I also helped her with her troubles here and there. We kinda fell out of touch after HS but she recently contacted me. \n \nI like this girl because i can be myself around her. She has a very caring, optimistic, hardworking personality that i love, not to mention that she's beautiful. Our conversations come with ease and are usually very entertaining (she makes the introvert me go away). \n \nI'm afraid I was too caught up in my pursuit of the other girl in high school to appreciate my friend back then. After we recently reconnected, I took her to lunch with me. I think she got the vibe that I was interested in her so she was a bit nervous, but i think we had a great time nonetheless. However, I texted her the next day and asked if she wanted to come study but she said that she had no time (excuse: finals/retail job), but i have found out that she has been hanging out with another friend from HS (he's not interested in women) a lot via social media. \n \n I REALLY do like this girl and I think she may have just a hint of attraction towards me. I really don't know what to do now; I have texted her once since then but it was strictly school stuff. After our lunch she said she definitely wanted to play tennis after finals were over. \n\nWhat should i do? Why did she blow me off? Advice / viewpoints welcome.", "summary": "Falling for super cool friend [18/f] from HS. Don't know what to do. She may have blown me off. {sorry not sure how to summarize this situation}"} {"id": "t3_342kys", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by destroying my computer's hard drive.", "post": "Obligatory not today...\n\nI worked late the night previous and my GF woke me up early in the morning. Being that I was already in a salty mood my GF decided it would be best to start an argument about a very important topic. In fact, it was so important that I can't even remember what the argument was about. In any case, I felt the only appropriate response would be to chuck what was in my hand at the time, a lighter, at the door in my apartment. Well, due to my athletic prowess I managed to misfire completely and hit my laptop which was on the coffee table. At first I thought I got lucky and only hit the coffee table. It wasn't until later when I tried to boot up my computer, and failed, that I discovered a little dent next to the mousepad on my laptop. Wouldn't you know it, the lighter hit in the perfect spot to destroy the hard drive. As I sat there, listening to the dreaded \"click of death\", I couldn't help but think TIFU...", "summary": "Destroyed hardrive due to mild athletic retardation. How do I fix the \"click of death\" reddit?"} {"id": "t3_4kxil0", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Confused by crush. Don't know hot to start conversation", "post": "One girl I kinda like etc etc. I have seen her fairly often around highschool (kinda small)\nWe've made awkward eyr contact a few times, but I've never talked to this girl once, she's 2 grades below m and hangs out with the \"shy\" group (might have something to do with it?)\nIve Never talked to her, I'm too shy to start a conversation, but she found my Instagram account and followed me ? Out of the blue \n\nI really wanna start a conversation (over dm, that too bad?) But don't know how to say anything without coming off as a crush or sounding mean. I also don't wanna make her feel awkward by saying \"why did you follow me\" \n\nWhat should I say? Or do?\nSorry for grammar, in mobile", "summary": "crush followed me on instagram out of the blue. Never talked to her before, wanna start a conversation over dm"} {"id": "t3_ycgu2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, What is the funniest thing you have seen while at school?", "post": "Mine was a t the end of the year. All the students had to take their math final in the school gym. There had to be about 400 kids in this one room. My friends and I all had the same teacher, so they way they sort it us was by teachers and we were all right next to each other. Our teacher specifically had a tradition of giving lollipops out to her students during the final exam. My friends and I are all done and just casual looking over to each other and what not. My three friends decide to take the lollipops out of the wrappers and start eating them. Eventually this turns into them pretending to give blow jobs on the lollipops. They start making gurgling and choking sounds that someone would make while giving a blowjob. We were sitting in the middle of the gym and it was dead silent. I began to laugh hysterically over this. I realize I made the entire gym look at us and my friends and I begin to crack up. Everyone goes back to their tests and my friends decide to do there blowjobs again. I keep my head down trying to hold in the laughter. Needless to say, we all begin laughing again and everyone stares at us over some laughing and blowjob noises.", "summary": "Teacher gave out lollipops during final exam. Friends make blowjob noises in silent gym. We laugh our asses off."} {"id": "t3_hxle9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Going from Masters Degree to Hitchhiking?", "post": "So my brother is graduating with a bachelors degree soon and wants to stay another year and a half to get his masters degree. He's recently developed this great idea that after graduating, he wants to hitchhike across the country and perform circus type tricks to make ends meet (unicycle, hacky sack, juggling, etc). He doesn't want a 9-5 job where he's tied down and just wants to go live life freely. He cited The Spartan Student as a reference as to how he can make it work ([link] To make things worse, he doesn't have plans as to what he wants to do with his masters degree in computer science. He just wants to get it because it's only another year after his bachelors.\n\nDoes anyone have any sort of experience with this type of mentality? What are the dangers of living like that? Do others think this is as dumb as I think it is?", "summary": "Brother has 2.5 years to get bachelors and masters in Comp Sci. Plans to \"live like a hobo\" afterwards, hitchhike around, and perform street tricks to get by. How dumb is he?"} {"id": "t3_4ngbty", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Seriously need some help on how to act and handle a friend.", "post": "I'm having serious issues getting a grip on my jealousy/anger in dealing with a lady friend of mine. I'll try to be as blunt as I can here. We've been flirting back and forth for about three years now, other than some heavy petting and making out, nothing else has happened. I know...three years....time to leave. The issue is that I've developed strong feeling for her in that time and don't want to just walk away. At the same time, she appears to \"flirt\" with my friends and acts quite affectionately toward one of them. I hate this, I can't stand it. I know I don't control her, we aren't a thing, and she's free to do whatever. The reason I say \"flirt\" is because I can't even tell if it *is* flirting or friendliness, my gut says it's the former...though he has a gf. \n\nIn the time we've been together, I think I've become obsessive/possessive of her, she acts differently toward me, less affectionate, and distant. However still flirty and attracted. I can't tell if I'm looking too far into everything or if things *really* are happening behind the scenes. \n\nI think the bottom line for me is, I can't stand her knowing full well how I feel while flirting with my friend *and* me. It infuriates me that she won't flat out tell me what's going on. \n\nI'm hurt and angry, I can't help but feel betrayed. I feel as if my friend has taken my place and now she just sees me as....whatever. I realize this is jealousy, but it don't know if it's unfounded or how to stop.", "summary": "I feel hurt, angry, jealous, betrayed, and confused. I'm I right to feel so, how do I stop for the sake of my sanity and our relationship with her."} {"id": "t3_cp5yu", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I know I am overreacting a bit here, but am I in the wrong?", "post": "Hey all, I browse this subreddit a lot and try to add my two cents in when I can, and now I need to vent and ask for your advice. \n\nRecently my girlfriend and I moved in together and my Mom sent us a gift card for 25 bucks to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. We never got around to going to the store because it is a little bit out of our way. \n\nToday my girlfriend texted me saying she went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy a friend of hers a present for her upcoming wedding. A small present, but she then said she used the Gift Card for the purchase. \n\nThis really pissed me off. First, it was a gift from my mother for something to buy for our new apartment. Second, it's not like we can't afford to buy the gift on our own. We are both successful, so to me I thought it was really disrespectful. \n\nWe got in this huge argument and I am still really pissed at her. I just can't believe that she used something my Mom sent us for our apartment to buy something for someone else. I know it sounds petty, and it most likely is, but would any of you get pissed at this, too?", "summary": "Girlfriend used gift card from my mom to buy a present for her friend's wedding. It really pissed me off."} {"id": "t3_26fpvb", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to wipe with baby wipes and using the wrong thing on accident. (NSFW)", "post": "Around 3 in the morning me and my lady are getting frisky and by the end of sexy times I am exhausted and want to go to bed. In order to feel cleaner so I can lay down and go to sleep I go to the sink, grab some wipes and clean off my dick and balls (it was dark and we were sloppy so I got thorough). After I finished wiping up I started feeling a small tingling then I noticed that I didn't grab baby wipes. Instead I grabbed fucking Clorox Wipes and scrubbed the most sensitive parts of me with it. And that's when the burning started. My GOD did it burn. Felt like a total idiot for even having those two objects near eachother, it was so awful...", "summary": "I accidentilly clorox w/bleach-ed my junk and it was so firey and intense that I danced around wildly and wanted to cry."} {"id": "t3_3i8all", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 M] love my gf [19 F] (10 months) very much but am questioning if I want a relationship right now", "post": "My girlfriend and I met at school last year and are nearing a year together. We connect amazingly and have a healthy, working relationship and I care about her deeply. From the beginning I have feared commitment but due to our chemistry gone with the flow and things have been great.\n\nHowever my last year of college is coming up and I'm having a quarter life crisis of sorts and feel the itch to be single. While I still love her, I just feel too young to be committed and with her being my first serious relationship, want to experience dating/seeing other people too.\n\nAlong with that I feel that I am still learning about who I am and so while I realize that it is possible for people to grow together, I just feel a lot of uncertainty about myself and just don't feel that I am ready for a lifelong commitment for a long time and that I'll be able to stay committed to her until that point.\n\nAdditionally with the last year of college I want to spend as much time with friends as possible as I know that after this we will go our separate ways and things will be very different. So for right now they take priority over her.\n\nAlso with the last year of college I have no idea where the future is going to take me, if a job will take me far from home or not and whether the relationship is worth the effort at this age (she will have two years of school left)\n\nI've already expressed some of these feelings to her (not the other girls part) and she was upset but still wanted to be with me. I feel so torn because she is such a great girl and I really care about her and know that if I do go a different direction she will be absolutely crushed. And at the same time I'm not so sure that I want to let go of something so great because of my immaturity, but that may be a good enough reason for her sake.\n\nI'm seeking advice on what to do or how to sort through my feelings and make the best decision for both of us", "summary": "Entering final year of college and feeling itch to be single, despite being in a healthy relationship. Trying to decide what is best for both myself and her?"} {"id": "t3_3rhw4q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with guy I'm dating [24 M/F], for 2 months and recently became exclusive with doesn't seem into me anymore", "post": "Hi! Using a throwaway because he uses reddit. \n\nHave been dating this guy for about 3 months. We live about 3 hours from each other, but that isn't really an issue. We've been very flexible with visiting each other. We've \"only\" been on 4 dates total, where 3 of them have been spent as entire weekends at each others apartments.\n\nIn that time period I assumed we weren't exclusive, so was dating other people and having fun. Last weekend I spent the weekend at his place, and he seemed very surprised that we weren't exclusive. We talked about it, and agreed to become exclusive, as we both like each other and want to know where it's going.\n\nThe thing is, after this weekend, he has been really unresponsive in texting and communication. He doesn't really seem to want to talk to me at all. That is fine in itself, but before we became exclusive he texted me all the time, and seemed kind of annoyed when I didn't reply. I mean, different people text differently, I get that. But just seems weird to me that he doesn't want to communicate at all in the beginning of brand new and exciting relationship. I just can't get rid of this gut feeling I have, that now that we're exclusive he lost interest in pursuing me...\n\nI have no idea how to talk to him or if I even should. I don't want to be needy or pushy, but on the other hand, I really want to know if he lost interest, so I don't waste my time and feel annoyingly insecure, because I don't know where I have him.", "summary": "Guy I recently became exclusive with doesn't seem to want to communicate. Should I confront him, wait it out or listen to my gut feeling, and move on?"} {"id": "t3_31sklv", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Keep my easy job and free time or go to another company and earn more/challenge myself?", "post": "I'm having a hard time deciding what to do with myself. I'm searching for a job. I'm actually expecting a formal offer this week (not to sound overly confident - the hiring manager literally said that sometimes it takes a year to find a candidate they even want to interview and the never do 2nd interviews and he spent extra time selling himself and the company). \n\nSo, here's the thing. I am spoiled at my current job. I've been here 8 years. I can work from home. I work maybe 7 1/2 hours a day on average. I get 6 weeks vacation. I live 15 minutes from work. My boss is decent. My coworkers are decent. I keep getting decent raises (3+%). --- I'm looking elsewhere because some managers I have to deal with just aren't pulling their weight and my workload and headaches with the workload are increasing significantly this year while my pay is not. My boss is trying to get me a bonus, but not a raise. I sound whiney, but it is a pretty boring job and the challenges are from other people just not communicating in a timely manner. \n\nA new job would pay more and be more interesting, but I would work more, have a further commute, less vacation and no working from home. I'd likely work with people I could actually befriend though (my current coworkers have kids my age). I'd have to learn a new industry. But they offer free lunches, a gym and some team building things I don't have today. \n\nPay comparison is $60k (current) vs $70k (new)\nBenefits 6 wks PTO (current) vs 3 wks (new)\n\nI don't know what I want!! What would you do?", "summary": "do I keep an east job with good pay and lots of free time or take a challenging/interesting job with little free time but more pay?"} {"id": "t3_rkd9m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Mother wouldn't let me have a shirt I ordered because she didn't like it. She threw it out.", "post": "I'm 17, still living at home obviously. I ordered [this] shirt and it arrived in the mail today. I ordered it on my debit card that had my money on it, but because the shirt said \"Fuck\" on it, it gave her grounds to take it and throw it out.\n\nShe proceeded to go on a tangent about how I'm going to take pictures in this shirt and they will get uploaded to facebook, then future jobs/colleges will look at it and then revoke any offers they gave me. I explained to her that it's within our first amendment right to wear a shirt that says \"fuck\" on it. In response, she told me to shut the fuck up and said it in a tone that mocked the shirt.\n\nLater, she somehow related the t shirt to drinking and doing drugs and how those things get uploaded to facebook. I don't have a single picture on facebook of me drinking or smoking, but somehow she justified throwing out my shirt. I understand I'm under her house and under her rules, but I can't help but feel it is wrong of her to throw out the shirt I paid for. And it's not like I'd wear this shirt to school or something.", "summary": "My mom took my shirt I ordered and payed for, and threw it out because it said the word \"fuck\" on it."} {"id": "t3_3h0fop", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[25/m] Struggling with Hot/Cold [23/f]", "post": "Dating this girl for almost 2 months. Hangout roughly once a week. We go out to dinner and hang out at each other's houses. Sex is great and we do it and sleep over every time we hang out; she says Im the best she's had and only one she does it with. When we're together in person, she's great - kisses me as soon as she sees me, always has her hands on me, holds my arm walking in public, she talks to me about everything in her life, etc.\n\nBut as soon as we aren't together - she completely falls off the face of the earth. Ignores 3/4 of my texts, calls. When she does answer them, texts are always communicative, calls are always invested in, etc. But she never initiates texts herself, though she used to when we first started seeing each other.\n\nA few weeks ago I got the feeling she only wanted FWB and told her, and she said that isn't what she wants. After that she didn't talk to me for about 3 days when I finally got ahold of her again and we met up again and everything was normal like nothing happened. I walk in the door and she's all over me again, we have a blast. Cooks for me, great sex, talk for hours, hang out til 5 am before staying the night, kiss goodbye etc etc etc. As soon as I leave - radio silence; going on 3 days now. I texted her last night to call me before I get headstrung but still haven't heard anything yet. \n\nWhat gives?", "summary": "Girl is great in person, but recently giving me the cold shoulder when we aren't face to face. Feel like she only wants FWB."} {"id": "t3_45eyra", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [34 M] with my wife [34 F] of seven years, are having a tough time figuring out what to do as a couple in every day life.", "post": "So, me and my SO have been together for seven years, married for five and we are parents to a lovely daughter who's 2 years old.\n\nMy wife told me the other day that her experience is that I never take an initiative to do something as a couple. With dysfunctional parents, all I've ever learned was to sit in separate chairs all evening to one of them went to bed - so I have basically have no idea what \"couples do\".\n\nThere are of course some key factors that needs to be kept in mind, when trying to figure something out - we can't leave in the evening since the little one is sleeping and having a babysitter is fairly rare (back to my dysfunctional parents) and something we usually pay a helpful girl to do.\n\nI asked my wife what she would like to do and I kind of get a vibe that it's really annoying that I ask this, especially since her answer was \"google it\". But that's what I did and guess what shows up; rent bikes, go hiking together, attend festivals even stuff like rock climbing, bungeejumping and sky diving is stuff I find - it just doesnt fit into my idea of \"doing everyday couple stuff together\".\n\nSo, hoping for some inspiration - what do you guys do?", "summary": "I can't figure out what to do with my wife in the evenings, while the kid is sleeping. I'd appreciate suggestions."} {"id": "t3_xdkge", "subreddit": "running", "title": "How much do you run in minimalist shoes?", "post": "I've read a lot of opinions on this subreddit, but what I'd like to know is specifically the mpw and your experience.\n\nI have a pair of VFFs that I used very briefly last year, then forgot them overseas when I visited my family. I'll have them again in a few days and I'm thinking about how much I should run in them.\n\nI have been running on and off for almost two years, and I never had an injury per se but I used to often get consistent pain in my shins, and sometimes calves. A couple of times it got bad enough that I had to stop for a couple of weeks. I believe it is mostly due to me getting impatient and doing too much too soon. So for the past few of months I have been a lot more disciplined and I've never had even the slightest pain issues. Currently I'm at ~40mpw. I have a midfoot strike, and I have taped and analyzed my form and I am pretty happy with it, so I'm not too worried about injuring myself too easily in the VFFs due to improper form; but still, I feel like the compound effect of too many miles might destroy my knees/ankles/what have you regardless of form. I know in theory it shouldn't, but then again in theory, theory and practice are one and the same, which is never the case in practice :). So this is my question:", "summary": "If you run or have run in minimalist shoes/barefoot, how may mpw would you do and what is your experience with that mileage?"} {"id": "t3_3q40kh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [29F] date my colleague [39 ] ?", "post": "(Note: I'm changing the academic field here and using equivalents)\n\nI'm a graduate student in social work and also TA in the sociology department. There is a professor (39 m) in the office next to mine. He teaches critical race theory and I've never taken a class with him. His research interests are not related to mine at all. We always end up chatting about random things and I enjoy being friendly with him. He's really nice. I'm getting a pretty strong vibe he has a thing for me. He's tried to ask me indirectly if I have a boyfriend and seems really nervous when he initiates conversations with me. He's never been creepy or acted like a predator. \n\nHe's always interacted with me as a friend or colleague, never as a student. I would like to ask him out, but I worry about two issues. 1) He is assistant head of the sociology department. 2.) It's always awkward to date your sort of colleague.", "summary": "I'm pretty sure a professor next to my office has a crush on me. The feeling is mutual. Should I date him?"} {"id": "t3_39x37w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[20M] telling my[20F] girlfriend of two years i feel uncomfortable with her all the time", "post": "So, prepare yourselves. This is a bigger little issue that has lingered throughout our relationship, here is a brief prologue. My girlfriend, lets call her Stacey, and I have been dating since our sr year. In our last year of highschool, she would spend the night. And that summer, about three times a week. I thought that was a lot.\n\nFf two years, me living with her and moving, and we have the same issue. It is near impossible for her to say bye unless she has something planned to keep her distracted from me. Her parents know she is constantly about me, and even embarrassingly joke about it. I thought maybe it was me but..\n\nLast night, her mom was going to the store before her vacation and clearly wanted Stacey to go. Stacey didnt want to, so I offered. Her mom wasn't psyched, and a few minutes later shrugged and said \"ah I'll just go by myself.\" I knew what that meant, both her daughters didnt, and made Stacey go. The same situation has happened plenty, and because Stacey keeps our relationship private I feel her family and friends get the wrong image of me. Aggravating me more during our arguments when she says \"you sound crazy\" when she is with her friends. After reassuring with my family and friends (obvious bias, i know) that it **isnt me** when we argue, and that she sort of engages me and pushes my buttons when i get that really upset. More recently, a friends mom of hers confirmed I'm not crazy. She just doesn't listen with an open mind. That trait isnt unique to this situation either.\n\nTo be fair, she does do a lot to carry her weight. She is sweet and loving, and cares about me. I love her too. We do argue a bit better. I feel like it is because of my endorsement of her staying most of the week without saying anything about it. My issue being that it is **very** distracting, and my mom does not want her to move in, and its hard to send her home because she gets offended.", "summary": "my girlfriend wants to spend every free moment with me, and she cant live with me, so i feel like an asshole when sending her away."} {"id": "t3_4zl4ej", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [30M] takes everything I say as a personal attack. I [23F] try to be sensitive but I'm at the end of my rope.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. When we first got together, things were amazing. He was everything I wanted; funny, smart, good-looking, we had a lot of great times together, etc. Over the years, though, it has become more and more apparent how sensitive he is. \n\n*Anything* I say is a personal attack on him. If he suggests we go out for Chinese and I say I'm trying to eat less salt (history of high blood pressure in my family), he gets huffy and says I'm calling him unhealthy. No...I'd just rather not eat 3 days worth of sodium in one sitting *that* particular night. If he asks what I think of his hair style and I say I preferred it another way, he says I'm calling him unattractive and I must not like him that much. Again, not at all...I'm just not going to shower him with adoration when he asks for my true opinion. He says, \"I really think the cyclists are so interesting\" and I say, \"True, but I've always liked watching the gymnasts\"; suddenly I'm belittling him and calling his interests stupid. If he says he wants to go to the movies and I say I would rather stay in, I'm again somehow judging his wants and needs.\n\nIt's not like I say no to everything, or disagree with everything, or anything like that. But I'm not the same person as him...I'm going to have different opinions and prefer certain things. That doesn't mean I hate him or think he's dumb, I completely respect his opinions. I just don't always share them. \n\nI honestly don't know if I can continue in this relationship. I've tried talking to him about it and he denies that there is a problem. But I also hate to throw away 2 years with an otherwise great man over this. What do I do?", "summary": "Boyfriend takes everything I say as a personal attack. I'm at the end of my rope and don't know what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_2592b1", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I need help asking my mom to let me leave home TOMORROW!", "post": "I'll try to keep this as concise as possible. \n\nI'm nearly 21 years old and grew up in Atlanta. All of my friends live there. I went to college in Maryland and my parents moved to Orlando. Fast forward two years and I now live at home in Orlando with a job bussing tables at a local restaurant and have no friends in this whole damn state.\n The job is fine but they keep jerking me around with my hours. They will constantly cut me really early or tell me not to come in at all simply because they over-hired. I'm sick of it and I want a new job. The job I want is at the summer camp where I have worked for three summers and been a camper for seven. I have friends that are going back this summer and the camp director so I know I can get hired.\n I'm supposed to take classes at a local community college this summer and the payments are due on Monday(36 hours from now), So I have to get the job by tomorrow. I don't know if I can do that so quickly. So I need to ask my Mom to let me cancel the classes so I can take the chance of getting the job (I know I will get it because the camp directors love me). This is especially difficult because tomorrow is Mother's Day!\n My Mom loves me and wants me to stay home but her and my Dad are constantly with each other and me. None of us like each other, which is the real reason I want to leave. I don't know what to do!\n\nPlease help", "summary": "I want to leave home fore the summer to get away from my parents, but have to ask my mom tomorrow on Mother's Day."} {"id": "t3_3s3dih", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [F23] tell my boyfriend [M24] of three years that my parents are related?", "post": "I've known for about 4 years that parents are first cousins, they didn't even tell me, I had to find out from my brother. I was really upset and I have never ever told anyone.\n\nMy parents are divorced and I haven't seen my mom in over 8 years. I do see my dad from time to time, I don't think he knows that I know I've never talked about it with him. I've just been trying to forget it myself.\n\nWhen I found out I immediatly searched for a ton of information online and whether something could be wrong with me because of it or if I ever had a child they'd be more prone to have a genetical disorder. But it seems that the chances of that happening would be the same if my parents had been unrelated. I guess that's why I haven't told my boyfriend about it. He's never met my mom, he rarely sees my dad. I didn't think that I needed to before plus I'm still really really not comfortable with it.\n\nLast night my boyfriend and I were talking about the future and starting a family one day. Now I do feel as if I have to tell him because I've been feeling guilty the entire day. \n\nHe cares about me a lot and he really does love me but I have no idea how he's going to react. But I feel if it were reversed I would like my partner to tell me all of this before we'd start a family. It wouldn't change anything for me but I would want to know. I'm just really dreading the conversation I'm about to have.\n\nI'm wondering would you ever break up with someone if they'd tell you something like this? Would this be something you wouldn't be able to get over?", "summary": "Boyfriend and I are talking about starting a family. I know I should tell him that my parents are related. Would you break up with someone over this?"} {"id": "t3_1n6xwl", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Really strange muscle issue [Quad]", "post": "Long story short, I went into a lengthy, run heavy workout very dehydrated which brought about expected DOMS in my quads for a few days after. It was around 2 days after this workout that I crouched down to pick something up off the floor and was met with an immediate tear/ripping feeling in my left quadricep. Strangely after wrapping it overnight, the pain all but subsided until I tried to run again a few days later and I was met with the same tearing/ripping feeling immediately. Pain goes away within a day, I rested for a week before starting doing incline treadmill and plenty of squats to re-strengthen. Eventually over three weeks of being safe and strengthening it, I got back to the point where I can run again. Here's the strange part. I can run in a straight line no problem (treadmill and neighborhood runs), but for whatever reason as soon as I go to cut while playing field sports it immediately goes to tear again. It feels like it's really deep into the muscle (not on the surface) and only gets aggravated with certain motions. I guess I'm just perplexed as to what to do, because I can go out and run a mile or two without any issue, but if I were to quick make a 90 degree cut it'll re-aggravate and bring instant pain. Strangest injury I've ever had to be honest, and with it being deep into muscle I don't know how to treat it properly. Any advice? \n\nGuess this wasn't too short", "summary": "Can run straight fine with no issue, go to make a cut and quad feels like it's tearing, brings about unbearable pain that's gone within 24 hours"} {"id": "t3_2iwcls", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My kind-of-ex [23/M] of 8-years and I [23/F] started taking a break on my terms two days ago. Now his grandfather is dying. What to do?", "post": "I posted earlier this week about possibly taking a break with my boyfriend. I ended up talking to him and putting things on hold two days ago. He is still very hurt, and wants to wait for me even though I have told him I may never come back. I lived with him an hour from my work / friends, but I have temporarily moved into my friends near my work until I get a room in two weeks. \n\nBasically, he is taking it really hard. I haven't seen him because I am desperately afraid of going back. And that wouldn't solve anything. I know I need some time to figure myself out, and I don't think I can do it with him right now. \n\nHis grandfather has been sick for a few weeks. Last weekend, the doctors gave him six months to a year left. His family is super close. And over the last 8 years, I have been to almost every family event, and am pretty close to his family. I am almost part of the family. \n\nHe texted me today to tell me his grandfather is going to die tonight or tomorrow. His family lives about an hour from where I am currently staying. He just wants me to know in case I want to say goodbye. I desperately do, and I am going tomorrow. I just hope I can keep the focus on his grandfather and not our relationship.\n\nReddit, do you think it is a good idea to go? Or am I making a huge mistake?", "summary": "After 8 years I am almost a part of his family. Now his grandfather is passing away and I want to visit him but don't know how to handle it with our recent break."} {"id": "t3_29gb96", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my friend [21 F] and a crisis of conscience.", "post": "During highschool I was best friends with two girls, K and C (as I'll call them).We got together with for a reunion of sorts 3 years ago, our first year into university. It was very apparent the C had some form of eating disorder, and was as thin as humanly possible. It frightened me, but I lived 3,000 km away and felt like there was nothing I could do. \n\nC and K were always thick as thieves, and lived together at university, so I guess it fell on K to help. She fought for C every step of the way, taking her to the doctor, checking up on her and generally being there for everything. It turns out that Cs brother had taken his own life and she did not cope well, becoming anorexic. But, with Ks help she got better (she was apparently VERY ill at one point, being admitted for severe malnutrition) and they seemed as strong as ever as friends. \n\nI recently had a wonderful sit down with K to reconnect, and she told me that C cut her out of her life two years ago, about 6 months after her recovery. It came without warning, as she deleted her off facebook, won't take her calls, nothing. With how ferociously K fought for her health, I can't help but wonder if she, C, see's K as a villain, the one forcing her to address her demons. \n\nMy point I guess is should I contact C and plead for her to allow K back into her life, or would that only aggravate the situation? It tears K, my dearest friend, up inside and she feels as if she did something wrong. I can't escape the thought that C may regret cutting out the person who loved her dearest and will wish she hadn't down the line, but I don't know if it is my place to say something. I'm just...confused and heartbroken and upset.", "summary": "My two closest friends relationship collapsed, is it my place to attempt to mend it, or would that only add to the animosity."} {"id": "t3_13u96h", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Okay, AskReddit, I need your help, and fast. A buddy I know from work is about to literally throw away her life for this shady guy she met online. I have her number. What should I do/say?", "post": "So background story: I went into my old work to ask for a job during the holidays and found out that Katie (not her real name) had left the company. When I asked why my manager asked me if I really wanted to know. I said yes, and she explained the situation. Apparently Katie had met this guy (let's call him Adam) on skype a year earlier. He's from Israel, and apparently he'd seduced her and had basically siphoned money off her by claiming that people were after him (he'd show up on skype with \"bruises\" on his face) and she'd feel so sorry for him, she'd sell her stuff and give him the money. It got to the point where she was talking about selling her car for him, because every time she didn't have money for him when he asked her, he'd cuss her out and emotionally batter her. Nothing that anyone at my work said could change her mind about this guy, she'd just deny that he had ulterior motives. Recently she'd been talking about marrying him. And apparently it's turned into a plan: She would fly to Turkey (where it's \"safe\") and they would both get married. Suddenly Adam finds a job and is magically able to come up with ticket money for Katie in just a few days. She's leaving on the 1st. \n\nWhat can I do?? This guy just screams danger - I've lived in the middle east for most of my life and I know what women's rights are like there. I have a feeling that if she leaves, she won't be coming back. \n\nIf she was still in town I'd go over and basically lay it out for her but I can't - she's back in her home state with her parents, who don't seem to really care about actually stopping her (although I heard that they're against it). I just can't stop thinking that he'll whisk her away to another country and then sell her into some prostitution ring or something. I'm not particularly close to Katie, but I have to do *something*. \n\nBut what?", "summary": "Former work colleague selling everything she owns to be with this shady character from Israel; what can I do to stop her?"} {"id": "t3_2xfycd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M/19] am gonna be meeting up with my ex [F/17] in a couple of weeks about maybe getting back together - how to approach it?", "post": "We dated for about a year, getting together while we were both in sixth form (UK, not sure of the US equivalent) and I broke it off a couple of months after leaving for university (I live away from home, about a 3 hour drive) pretty selfishly as I wanted to experience the life of a single lad at uni. After enjoying myself for a bit, I realised how much I missed her and took her for granted, you know the little things like having somebody to talk to all of the time, somebody to depend on and her in general. I isolated myself from all of my friends and eventually became depressed about the situation as I discovered she had practically wiped any existence that we even knew eachother.\n\nThen, out of nowhere we suddenly begin texting again, leaving me completely and utterly confused about where I stand with her. To make sure I didn't end up becoming depressed again, I made my feelings absolutely clear that I wanted her back and essentially issued her an ultimatum, to which she responded saying she knew what I was going through but claims a lot has happened and that I need to understand that she \"isn't saying no\".\n\nI come home for a couple of weeks at the end of March and she wants to meet up and see what happens.", "summary": "I'm still in love with this girl and I don't want to fuck up again. Please, tell me the best way to approach this and not make a twat of myself again."} {"id": "t3_3tc01g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (28M) went through my fiances (27F) iPad and found messages that imply she is having an affair.", "post": "My fiance and I have been together for about 4 years. Dating for a little over 2 and engaged for the rest.\n\nAbout a week ago my she spent the night at a friends house. I have been suspicous for a few months now but for some reason I decided to look at her iPad and see if there was anything obvious that night.\n\nI went straight to her Facebook and looked through her chat log. Going all the way back to early 2014 I found a number of conversations that she has had with other men. They ranged from random guys just hitting on her and her politely declining or shutting them down to a couple conversations that seemed like she was setting up romantic dates when she was going back to her home town to visit.\n\nI ended up confronting her about it and she claimed that it was all a misunderstanding. She said the random guys were just friends of her facebook friends and she didnt want to be rude to them and tell them to just go away. She said that the messages that sound like her setting up romantic dates were just her meeting old friends and that there was nothing romantic about it.\n\nWe ended up having a pretty big argument about it but we have kind of moved on. At the very least she is acting like it didnt happen. I do not know how to feel about the whole thing. She did say that the day after she almost packed her bags and left.\n\nMy best friend has strongly encouraged me to leave her. I think that logically it's the smart thing to do but every time I start to think like that something inside me screams no.\n\nI need an outside opinion... should I just end it and send her packing or should I give us another chance?", "summary": "I found suspicous messages on my fiances iPad. I accused her of cheating and she denied it. We are now acting like it never happened but I cant decide if I should just end it or give the relationship another chance."} {"id": "t3_2i2pry", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my BF [35/M] Need advice on something I found.", "post": "Ok, to start, I know the age difference is... disconcerting. I can answer questions about that if you have any. But the reason I'm writing is; this is a new relationship, we're still figuring things out. We have been trying to take things slowly, being careful not to rush into things. He has been more than honest with me from the get-go, any and all questions he gives me quick and honest answers. He gave me the account info for his xfinity account so that I could watch tv. You know how the buttons for tv, and email are right next to each other? I accidentally clicked into his email, I went to close out of it when an email caught my eye. Sent at the beginning of the month from cams.com saying that his premium subscription was about to expire. The emails before and after were unread except this one. I assume he renewed it because he received their monthly email yesterday. \n\nI had asked him before if he looked at porn and he said yes, but not very often. Porn I am fine with as long as it doesn't interfere with our relationship, heck, I might even watch it with him. But this feels different to me, with his membership he could not only view the cams, but do private shows, chat with the girls one-on-one, etc,. And the emails were sent while we were together. We had sent pictures to each other and I thought it was interesting that he had always been very comfortable asking for certain things, but never gave it much thought; now it all makes sense. And it's left me feeling weird. I plan on talking to him about it. But I'm just not sure how to feel about this whole situation. What do you guys think?", "summary": "Found emails that suggest my bf is a \"premium subscriber\" to a camgirl website. Not sure how to feel."} {"id": "t3_3tqwq0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[19F] I hate my Brother's [15M] GF [15F]. How to Stop being Overprotective Older Sister?", "post": "My little brother has been dating this girl for almost a month now and I don't know how I feel about her. He's my only sibling and I'm very close with him, our mother passed away when we were just 12 and 8, so I've always taken care of him a lot and everything. She's his second girlfriend, and I've always been very protective of him and I have a hard time accepting the fact he's dating. I still think of him as a baby, and I know that's probably not healthy at all. How do I cope with this? I look through his phone and social media accounts sometimes and I feel guilty about it, I'm just worried about his girlfriend treating him right or not. And I don't want some other girl to be closer with him than I am. I think his girlfriend's afraid of me because I've been kind of bitchy towards her (even though I don't mean to be) Are my feelings about this normal?", "summary": "My little brother has a girlfriend and I don't like her, I go through his phone and am constantly worrying about it."} {"id": "t3_1v1fpu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30F] with my fianc\u00e9 [38 M] 6.5 years, I really struggle with the fact he's been married before", "post": "Hey Reddit,\n\nI'm 30F and adore my 38M fianc\u00e9. We are totally crazy about each other and getting married soon.\n\nBut the one thing I've never really been able to make peace with is the fact that he has a previous marriage - he got married really young really quickly to a woman 10 years older and they had a child which he felt pressured into having. He has told me a million times that he didn't really know what love was, what we have is infinitely better and deeper, I am the one great love of his life, and that he thought he loved her at the time but in hindsight deep down he always knew it wasn't quite right but stuck with it in the hope that it would all work out. Their marriage was a disaster and they broke up 6 months before we met.\n\nIt seems like no matter what he does or says (everything possible to the contrary), I have this hangup that the truth is actually that he wishes it had worked out with her and I'll never compare to her. I find it so hard knowing that he married her and had a child, and feel like that makes me less important or significant to him. I know it's mental, I just don't know how to just let it go and believe everything he says. I always feel like I'm second best, that it's a contest and I have to prove that I'm better/more loved than her. I know it's likely linked to low self esteem issues - what I want to know, reddit, is those of you who are the second husband/wife, have you had similar issues, and if so, how did you overcome them?\n\nI'd also welcome people just saying I'm a giant dickwad and to stop thinking so much.\n\nThanks in advance!", "summary": "I feel second best to my fianc\u00e9's ex wife despite him telling me that it was a huge mistake and that I am the one great love of his life"} {"id": "t3_2eyti3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting I'm an actress and kicking the director in the nuts.", "post": "Throwaway because NDA's and privacy and stuff.\n\nSo I'm an actress. You could argue that's my first fuck-up -- not exactly a lucrative career for 99% of us. However, I recently got cast in a decently high-profile supporting role that has the chance to really give my career a boost.\n\nThere's just one problem: one of the scenes is a torture scene where my character gets tied up and, well, tortured. Think James Bond or 24. Pretty standard stuff nowadays. The problem? I was tortured and sexually assaulted in my late-teens. The scene makes me incredibly uncomfortable but I figure it was a while ago, I've overcome it, it'll be worth it for my career in the longrun, it's just acting, etc.\n\nRehearsal yesterday. Seeing the set makes me feel panicked. I'm tied up. Begin to hyperventilate. Scene begins. Cue PTSD flashbacks. I freak out and begin thrashing around, screaming. Everybody thinks I'm just acting. I forget that's what I'm doing. Eventually my bawling becomes unnerving and the director approaches me to ask if I'm okay. I instinctively bicycle kick in his direction and make contact with his nuts.\n\nNot sure if I'm fired or need additional therapy or what. All I know is that I destroyed my director, badly screwed up my wrists, and made everybody on set think I'm emotionally unstable. I also still need to do that scene...", "summary": "Forgot I'm an actress, freaked out, and kicked director in the balls due to PTSD during torture scene."} {"id": "t3_54i7de", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I, M21 need help getting over my gf, 21, before she breaks up with me", "post": "My gf and I have been together for 5 years and for the past couple of months I've noticed she's been getting distant with me and has said she does and doesn't want to be with me. I on the other hand am 100% sure that I want to be with her. We're still together and sometimes things are great, she's very loving with me and affectionate, I love that, and other times she doesn't notice me but still tells me she loves me. I can sense her breaking up with me is imminent, but I'm not ready for this. How can I begin to prepaid my self for this? I don't want to break up with her or for us to break up, and sometimes it sees like we won't. But I want to prepare my self as best as possible. I really honestly don't know what to do and I feel horrible", "summary": "My gf of 21, in a 5 year relationship, has been very distant with me over the past months and I, M21, want to begin to prepare my self for her to breakup with me"} {"id": "t3_1152sz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "When I was a kid, my parents always kissed me on the mouth. I never thought anything of it, because it made me feel loved, and I felt safe. Is this weird or wrong? What kinds of things happened in your childhood that were perfectly normal to you then, but looking back may have been wrong, or weird?", "post": "Let me start by saying I am a girl. My parents never touched me inappropriately or anything. I feel I had a pretty happy childhood. My mom would kiss me on the lips with just a peck, likewise with my dad but he stopped when I was a teenager. My mom kept doing it until about around the time I turned 18 and started feeling weird for it. I also used to cuddle with my dad, and sometimes he would, laying next to me while I was on my back, just put his leg over me. It never got any kind of sexual or weird like that though, and I liked it back then. Like I said, I felt safe and loved and had a generally happy childhood. Today I have a good relationship with my parents. But I've always wondered.", "summary": "Parents kiss me on the lips as a kid, dad cuddled with me, had happy childhood. Started feeling weird about it and curious if it was weird or wrong all along."} {"id": "t3_14vvrc", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "She said we would be together", "post": "I'm going to try to keep this brief. Thank you in advance.\n19/M. Hurt by 18/F.\nWe have known each other for a few years, and it's been on and off. I am a college student, while she lives back at home with her folks. We had been seriously talking for a few weeks, and I, the hopeless romantic, believed in her. Over Thanksgiving break, she said we would be together. I believed. I returned back to school in Boston, and for a few weeks, everything was fine. We were talking, and I believed we were progressing. Then two weeks ago, she said she didn't want to be together with me because of the distance. She drops contact. It stung, but I completely understand, I thought she just wanted some space. Today I signed on to facebook to see that she is in a relationship with some fella who goes to school in Florida.\n\nIt just fucking stings man. She cuts deep. I wanted to believe, but she just me up into ribbons. I can't believe it. \n\nWhat should I do? Any advice as to how to let her go, or what my next step should be?", "summary": "Initially said we would be together, then said she didn't want to be because of distance. Week later she drops contact and is in a relationship with a guy who lives 1,337 miles away."} {"id": "t3_g4oo3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I have been a lurker for years. Now I need education advice.", "post": "I am a 24 year old Canadian who wants to go back to university. I went for a few years right out of high school, but I didn't find a program that could keep my interest. Now, a few years later and a huge chunk of student loan debt paid back, I want to go back. This time around, I want to go for chemical engineering. I am not the greatest math student, but I am a quick study and I'm determined to get a degree in something I think would be worth it. I was wondering what reddit thinks. I'm not really sure if I should because I'm afraid to fail and afraid of sinking into debt. I hope someone taking the course or someone in the field could share something about their experience with ChE. Sorry if my question isn't clear. (sent from my phone on a work break)", "summary": "24 years old. Want to finish college with a chemical eng degree. Weaker at math than other subjects. Need advice/encouragement. (feel free to AMA you think is relevant)"} {"id": "t3_2jupwa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 F] with my \"semi-boyfriend\" [26 M] of two years is past his timeline for committing to me.", "post": "We have been dating for almost two years (with a 6 month break in between). We broke up for several reasons, the biggest one being that his parents could not accept me because of my religion ( he is Christian, I am Muslim). He left me heart broken even though I believed he is the love of my life. I have dated guys before AND after him. Anyways, six months later, we start talking and hanging out. One thing leads to another and we realize how much we do still love one another. This time, he says things will be different. He will fight for me, talk to his parents, even brought up marriage and kids. All things I have wanted with him from the start. However, because he broke my heart last time, I don't believe it until I see it. I told him that if we are to contine to see each other, he has to take steps to show that - whatever they may be. He asked for some time (2-3 weeks) and he has shown me nothing of that sorts. He even told me he would write me a letter explaining his plan of action. We are now going on week 5 starting today, and I'm getting frusturated with no action. I know giving ultimatums is discouraged but what advice do you have for me? Should I wait it out and be patient and continue investing myself in time hoping it will pay off or do I tell him to keep his distance ?", "summary": "The guy that i love asked for 2-3 weeks to make a decision regarding the plan for our future. We are now going on week 5 and he has shown no efforts. Should I wait for him or leave him?"} {"id": "t3_3sczk7", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "I failed to use a personal connection, and now I fell really bad.", "post": "So I royally f'ed up. In October, I went with my brother to his girlfriend's Columbus day BBQ. While we were sitting around the campfire, her neighbor stopped by who happens to work at a financial firm, and I briefly herd how he sells stocks and bonds. \n\nI was interested but I barely knew anyone, so I didn't say anything. But the next weekend, at my house, my brother's girlfriend was over and I asked her what he did, and if his company offered internships. She said she would text him for me (they are really good neighbors). \n\nWell, she texted me a few days later saying that he told her if I had any questions I could email him, and he gave me the company website, but said they haven't had an intern in a while. So I searched on their career website, but couldn't find anything. So I assumed his company didn't have an internship program because they are a smaller firm.\n\nBut recently as I was looking for internships, I googled: \"*company name* internship\" , and found their internship page, which said the deadline had already passed.\n\nNow I feel like I wasted the good intentions of someone who had no obligation to help me, because of my procrastination / short-shortsightedness.\n\nI want to email this person to at least thank them for offering to help, which I should have done a lot earlier. But I don't know what to say or how I can not seem ungrateful / down right lazy.", "summary": "Found a potentially valuable personal connection, didn't do enough research, deadline for internship passed, now I seem ungrateful. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2g17cc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my girlfriend [17F] 7 month online girlfriend", "post": "Basically my online girlfriend and I got into a bigger fight then usual about jealousy, her playing with guys on a game we both play [league of legends] and me not being allowed to play with girls, a bit of context is she told me she is a sociopath. [I have info to both her facebook and skype].\n\nWe fought often about this jealousy/over protective thing.\n\nA couple of days ago when we were fighting about it she said I always push her away, then said \"Well you don't have to push me away any longer\" and broke up with me, we didn't talk for a whole day then while I was at work she texted me and said \"I miss you\", and we started talking again and she told me she wanted to be close friends that still said they love eachother and all that, and when I asked her she said we're exclusive but she doesn't want to put a title on it and \"we will see what happens\".\n\nI feel lost what to do, should I break it off fully with her? is she using me as a backup plan?\n\nAlso while trying to talk to her it's seemed to be a lot more difficult to talk, like she is trying to act not interested in me.\n\nAlso our facebook status is still \"in a relationship\".\n\nALSO I SHOULD ADD: she told me she just is to stressed out right now, she has school and this and that and the breakup is \"both of our faults\" etc.", "summary": "Online girlfriend of 7 months broke up, wants to be close friends that has all the online relationship components but not to call it one, what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3w8p2l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 F] with my ex boyfriend[20 M] one year and eight months, I cannot remember actual abusive in relationship.", "post": "I broke up with my boyfriend on Sunday. I left him because things weren't working out and I was scared for my safety at times. One would think after leaving an abusive relationship that there would be nothing but pure happiness! But now that I'm out of it... for some reason I cannot remember ANY abuse. No mental, physical, or emotional abuse. I can only remember the happy times. And because all I remember is this nice, loving, caring man... I feel like shit for leaving him. \nThe other day I was looking through my camera roll and found a bunch of photos of me and him together but I didn't look so happy. I found pictures of bruises, scratches, and red marks on my skin. I found pictures of myself where looking into my eyes all I could see was a miserable person. And photos like that remind me that I made the right decision.\nUnfortunately, my mind wont accept that these situations ever happened. I do not understand why this is... but it's really getting to me.", "summary": "I broke up with my abusive boyfriend and now I cannot remember any form of abuse (but there is photographic proof). Therefore: I feel like a piece of shit. Why can't I remember it?"} {"id": "t3_3ebufj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description", "post": "GF and I have been dating for about 10 months (she is 21, I am 26), with a good chunk of that in an LDR as she has been studying abroad. She will be moving to NYC when she finishes undergrad for her job and family in december while I live in Baltimore. I want to move to a big city in the near future, but never wanted to go to NYC because of how expensive it is. I also just started a new job a few months ago and the earliest I could move career-wise would be roughly a year from now.\n\nShe has thrown out the possibility of moving in together in NYC as a way of cutting the cost down. However, I think moving to a city I don't otherwise want to be in and immediately moving in together is generally a bad idea, especially when we have not been dating that long. But I really couldn't afford to move there on my own and I hate the idea of spending most of my money on rent.\n\nI love her, and I'd like to find a way to make things work, but I am having trouble finding a way to make moving to NYC a smart/reasonable decision. We could just delay the decision until December, but I am not sure what could change before then to make this easier.\n\nAny advice on what I should do? Am I being selfish?", "summary": "GF will be moving in a few months to a city I can't afford. She offered to move in together. I think its too soon, but can't think of another option, don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_i6glh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Should i help this person? If so how?", "post": "i am a high school student, and i was surfing reddit the other day. i am fairly new to this site so i don't know every single sub-reddit, but my friend told me about the ever so fucked up r/jailbait so being foolish i went there. i was creeped out, even though the girls are my age. but i saw one photo, and it was a facebook photo of a girl that goes to my school. she is 16 and therefore under age. I found the original poster but it was just their porn account. he posted several other photos of her. I don't know if he had her permission, but i doubt it. for the record, i don't exaggerate when i say she is widely believed to be the hottest girl in our grade, and possibly the school. i am a boy who has never spoken to her and i don't want to sound creepy by saying, \"oh hey hottest girl at school, i saw some photos of you in a bikini on a porn site! maybe you should do something\". what should i do?", "summary": "there are r/jailbait pics of a girl i know and she didn't post them, what do i do?"} {"id": "t3_3fkwpl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 F] am too insecure, attached to my boyfriend [24 M] and not happy", "post": "We've been dating for about six months. The relationship has been somewhat rocky throughout. We go to the same university but are both home in separate cities and our relationship has been long distance for the past couple of months The main reasons for our problems are that I am dealing with a lot of insecurities and he often feels disrespected and unheard. For example, he's taken pictures/videos of me during sex. I asked a couple weeks ago whether he took similar pictures of his exes and he said yes. I asked if he still watched them and he said he did. I tried to get more information on why he kept them and wanted to watch them and he said I was being insecure and invasive and told me the conversation was over. I kept pushing and he said \"fuck you\", told me to leave him alone, stopped talking to me for about a day. \n\nWe often have arguments like this. I'll keep pushing a subject until he gets angry and stops talking to me. Generally, these arguments stem from me feeling unattractive or otherwise insecure. He used to reassure me that he was attracted to me and loved me but now he just gets upset because he feels like his words have no impact on me. He did cheat on me early in our relationship. He doesn't consider it cheating because technically we weren't dating, but we had already agreed not to sleep with other people. I think a lot of my insecurities stem from that but I can't bring it up directly because he will get angry and shut off. \n\nWhen he stops talking to me I feel lonely and panicked. I usually text him several times, even though I know he will ignore me. I have a fulfilling life outside of him but I seem to lose sight of that and can only think about how much I miss him and am afraid of him leaving me. He feels like his space isn't being respected and he can't ask for a break. This is actually our situation right now. I'm not even sure what I did wrong but he told me I was exhausting him and never gave him space so I'm trying to do something productive other than smothering him.", "summary": "My boyfriend often gets upset with me and wants space. How do I give him space and stop being so unhealthily attached."} {"id": "t3_1i6c82", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I suck at everything.", "post": "Let's clear this up right now: I'm not good at *things*. I've never had a particular talent. In fact, it's pretty rare that I'm even mediocre at something. And yeah, this has led to a shitstorm of self-esteem issues. I'm working on it.\n\nBut it seems like no matter how hard I try, I never improve. I'm a student at a US University, and generally speaking I don't do too well in my courses. I'm constantly accused of just not working hard enough, but I don't know how it's conceivably possible for me to work harder than I already am. I've tried many different studying methods, and am constantly switching up variables in my study habits to try and find one that works, but I haven't found any particular way that will guarantee me the A's that everyone else gets with no effort at all.\n\nThis isn't only about school though. It's about everything, from cooking to music to making friends. I'm not good at any of it, and I want to get better, but whenever I ask people how, the answers are always the same. \"Try harder.\" \"Improve your work ethic.\" And when I ask how it's even possible to try harder than my hardest, I'm always told to \"figure it out yourself.\" I wouldn't be asking for help if I didn't need it. I can't just magically become better at calculus overnight by going, \"Oh, I just didn't think hard enough about it!\"\n\nTo make it worse, my loved ones have all given up on me. Maybe they're just tired of my bitching. Maybe they don't actually have answers. Maybe they just think I'm not worth the effort. Maybe I've pushed them away with my crazy, hysterical fits of self-hatred. And maybe some of them *actually* think I can figure it out on my own. Regardless of their motives, I get no help on this issue from the people I depend on most in life. It's no fault of theirs, but it doesn't make my situation any more bearable.\n\nI just want to be *good at stuff.* Like my mother and brother and father and all my other super-gifted relatives. Is that so much to ask?\n\nend pity party", "summary": "I suck at everything. Want to stop sucking at everything. No one can/will help. Stuck in loop of self-hatred because sucks to suck."} {"id": "t3_1dr5mk", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I [23M] am wondering if I should ask out the receptionist [23F] at my local gym.", "post": "Ok to start off, its been awhile since I've been in a relationship. My last one was almost 3 to 4 years ago, and after college, I went into medical school where I have absolutely no social life...or life in general :(. But this summer, I finally have some free time, 2 to 3 months and I really want to get back out there. \n\nThe matter at hand is that I've been talking to the receptionist at my local gym. By talking I mean mostly small talk and now more recently we've been cracking jokes together about each. I haven't really dropped any hints other than just being a friendly person in general, but I sort of want to get her number and ask her out. I'm not sure if this is a good idea b/c she may just be acting like this b/c its her job to be friendly to the customers. But then again, I don't really see her cracking jokes with the other ppl at the gym. My gym is pretty small too, and a lot of the times it could be relatively empty, so its pretty simple for me to strike up a conversation with her, when im leaving or coming in. I guess my question is, should I just make a move or just see how things go?", "summary": "I like the receptionist at my gym, we have friendly conversations which have gone on to joking around with each other. Should I make a move or should I just let things pan out?"} {"id": "t3_2mo95q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girl I was seeing [24F] broke things off with me[22M] because she wanted to work things out with her ex, looking for some advice.", "post": "Here's the story. I met this girl a little over a month ago. We immediately started seeing each other and things were going great for a while. I ended up caring about her a great deal and really wanting something serious with her. \n\nThen her ex showed up. They started talking again and she decided that she wants to try working things out with him. Okay, normal breakup I thought. We talk about it and decide to just be friends, and a few days go by. \n\nLast night, out of the blue, she texts me and tells me that she really misses me and can't stop thinking about me. I say that I miss her too, and she insisted on me telling her how I feel about her. I resisted out of respect for her and what she decided, but she kept pushing, so I asked her if she really wanted to know that, and she said yes. \n\nI told her everything. How much I care for her, what she means to me, how I wish I brought up all the relationship stuff earlier. After all this, she tells me she still feels the exact same way about me, and then she says this: \"I don't want to say it, but I love you\". I gave her some advice about trying to work things out with someone while being in love with someone else. I ended with saying that what she does with that advice is up to her, and that she needs to do what she thinks is best. \n\nI want to tell her that she's making a mistake, but out of respect for her I'm not going to. I don't want to cut contact with her and she really doesn't want to cut contact with me. I have no idea what to do at this point.", "summary": "Girl I was seeing broke things off to work things out with her ex, is now saying that she can't stop thinking about me and really misses me, that she loves me. Looking for some advice on what to do."} {"id": "t3_359bb6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] off and on for 8 years, she slept with a couple of her guy friends while we're broken up, still wants me to hang out with all of them", "post": "So me and my girlfriend's relationship has been extremely rocky for most of its duration. We've both done a lot of shitty things to each other, trust has been broken on both ends, but we still manage to forge ahead. For the most part, things are good though. We are a great team, at the end of it all.\n\nHowever, throughout our relationship, we've had a handful of breaks. The last time we broke it off, it was because I betrayed her trust with some things I did online. I take full responsibility, and understand why this may have her feeling that she doesn't owe me anything.\n\nThis last break lasted two or three months, and throughout that time she told me that she had slept with one other guy, yet wouldn't tell me who because it's \"none of my business.\" Fast forward to about a year afterward, and after a little pressure is applied, she admitted that she had fooled around with a guy friend she hangs out with fairly often. And just recently, she let it slip that she fooled around with *another* of her guy friends. However, she insists it was a long time ago, and that nothing has happened since.\n\nNow, I know I screwed things up before, and those things probably would not have happened if I hadn't. She considers these guys very close friends, and was friends with them long before anything happened intimately. For that reason, I've been cool with her continuing to hang out with them. I simply told her that I didn't want to be around them while they were together.\n\nFor whatever reason, this bothers her. She's upset that I don't want to hang out at their place and drink/party with them. I just want to hold onto some semblance of pride, and not grin like an idiot in the face of guys who she messed around with in the past. This has caused some serious tension in the relationship, and I honestly don't understand why. Am I being unreasonable? These aren't people I particularly get along with anyway, and she's more than welcome to spend as much time with them as she wants. What's the right answer here?", "summary": "Girlfriend messed around with a couple of her friends while we were on a break, is upset that I don't want to spend time around them."} {"id": "t3_16qj35", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (25f) am feeling a bit flustered since my boyfriend (27) admitted that he doesn't want to get married. What should I do?", "post": "When my boyfriend and I first started dating (six years ago!) I was convinced that I was never going to get married. My boyfriend, however, was convinced that he was going to marry and live happily ever after. Well, we fell in love and have had a pretty wonderful relationship. We get along well, are on the same page about a whole bunch of the big stuff (kids, religion, politics, whathaveyou), and generally enjoy hanging out with each other.\n\nAt some point, some wires must have gotten crossed because I began to think that I would like to get married. Not because I suddenly wanted to don a white dress, but because I could see a happy life with this man. Assuming he was on the same page (as I had no reason to think that he wouldn't be), I started to accept that we would, at some point, get engaged and then married.\n\nThen the other night, he confessed that he doesn't think he wants to get married. He emphasized that he loves me and he wants to be with me (and I don't think I have any reason to not believe him), but it still feels like the floor has dropped out from underneath me. I can't help but feel a little led on. Or that I'm deficient in some important way. I'm heartbroken!\n\nI hate to admit it, but after that blow I've begun to think about what my life would be like if we did decide to part ways. I would be doing a lot of things differently if not for this relationship (which, while stable and pleasant, can feel boring and stifling at times). I want to travel and move someplace where I can achieve my big city dreams, but he seems content staying put.\n\nI honestly don't know what to think at this point. I feel a bit silly being affronted by his decision when I didn't even want to consider marriage when we first got together, but I am. I don't think I'd ever want to marry someone else, but I do think that something has to change. I almost feel as though I've already gone through a breakup. What would you do if you were in my situation?", "summary": "My boyfriend, who had previously said he wanted to marry me, decided that marriage isn't for him. He still loves me and wants to be with me, but I have other things to do too. Should I stay with him?"} {"id": "t3_3cb3vn", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I Feel Bad About Spending Money", "post": "For context:\nI have a nice sized bank account with about 20% of my money. The other 80% of my money is in investments that makes me a few hundred dollars every month from interest.\nA lot of this money came to me from a lawsuit when I was bit by a dog as a baby. Another portion of it came to me as a teenager when my mother died unexpectedly. I am a typical college student that attends a relatively inexpensive university. I currently live by myself in an apartment. I work a job that pays just a bit over minimum wage.\n\nI always feel guilty about spending money if it is something other than food. This is a problem at times because I have a huge passion for technology which can lead to expensive purchases. Whether it's computers, audio equipment, phones, video games, etc, I love tech. As for large purchases, I have one laptop that is three years old, an Xbox One purchased about a year and a half ago, one phone that is a year old, and a 60-inch Vizio television that I bought a year ago, along with a Sony RX100 M3 and a tripod that I bought a few months ago. I had incredible buyer's guilt from most of these things, especially the last two. I recently just ordered a nice couch for my apartment as the one I currently have is falling apart and came from an old roommate. This purchase is what made me write this.\n\nI believe that a large portion, but not all, of my buyer's guilt comes from fear that my friends will look at me differently for being able to afford things that they cannot right now, even though all of us attend college and will get very nice jobs after. They know my situation. But the fear is still there I guess.", "summary": "I feel bad about spending money because I don't want my friends to look at me differently, even though most of my money came to me through painful experiences. Thoughts?"} {"id": "t3_2m15ev", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my girlfriend?[21 F] ?, Managed to grab my dreamgirl, but am I overthinking things?", "post": "So, I've had this girl in my life that I've essentially had a crush on since high school. During high school, I asked her to homecoming, but was rejected seeing as she wasn't going. Little bit of drama later, we became much better friends during the next year or so. Fast forward and we come to one of my last nights in the state. I visit her on my last night, and we just talk for hours pretty much. But me being inexperienced with women, my friends had told me much later on that she was hitting on me.\n\nSo, fast forward another year, and I'm back in the state. Over the past few years we've talked on and off every couple of months managing to always keep in touch. She's always seemed to have a boyfriend which is why I never made a move again. We had a lot of fun conversations and stuff with a lot of common interests which is why I liked her so much.\n\nSo come to the present. I moved back to the state we lived in previously and she moved away to a different state. Lately I'd been talking to her more and more when I realized that for the first time in a while, she didn't have a boyfriend. So, I manned up and asked her if she'd like to try a long distance relationship, she said yes. \n\nThe thing is though, I felt like it was more of a 'I know that you've liked me all this time so I guess' acceptance. So up until the end of the day that I asked her, we had our fun conversations. And now, I feel like it's been dulled. Previously she'd get back to me keeping up our fun conversations, but now it feels kind of one-sided.\n\nMy suspicion was at first that I was texting her too much, so I toned it down a bit. She does have a fairly busy job, but even at the end of the day... I tend to over think and analyze things a lot. Maybe it's me just being paranoid. But just wanted some clarification on this.", "summary": "Finally managed to grab dream girl that I've known for 4+ years, conversations feel one-sided and I still don't really feel like a \"boyfriend\" to her."} {"id": "t3_2lzu9i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] I've been taken advantage of by Friends, Family and SOs my entire life, what can I do to break the cycle?", "post": "Ever since I can remember I have always been a pushover. Always worried about what other people think or feel instead of how it effects me or makes me feel. I'm the guy who is always there helping friends or friends of friends move but don't have anyone willing to help me when its moving day.\n\nMy family frequently \"borrows\" things and never returns them. I'm the shoulder to cry on when shit hits the fan but when I'm in need everyone is awkwardly distant. I moved across the country and besides me contacting my family I don't hear from them at all.\n\nI only hear from friends when they need something from me. Friend without a car wants to hang out all the time until she gets a car then I never hear from her and shes always \"busy\". Never get responses from a friend until he needs a special order from me from my work. Meet a friend who is interested in my hobby. Take her along, show her the ropes and get her set up then once shes established she blows me off for other people in that hobby.\n\nWith several of my SOs after they left I realized they were using me to a point and once they got what they wanted or were self sufficient they were gone. One was unemployed so I paid for just about everything until the day after she got a job when she told me \"She wasn't ready or looking for any kind of relationship but we could still be friends.\" A few of them were with me because they were bored or lonely and left as soon as their situation changed.\n\nI realize that the problem probably lies just as much with me as it does with the people in my relationships. I'm told to stop being a doormat and when I try I usually just end up lonely because I have no friends or family around.\n\nWhat can I do stop getting taken advantage of with or be happy being alone? I know this may not get any response but it feels better just typing it all out.", "summary": "I'm a doormat that has a history of getting taken advantage of. How do I build healthy relationships that are give and take instead of just give?"} {"id": "t3_1zeo25", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/m]Considering rekindling things with an ex[20/f] who was unfaithful.", "post": "I would never in a lifetime even think about this, but she was a sex addict. Certified. When she was 14 she fell \"in love\" with a 20 year old who used her for years and IMO is what set off her issues. It eventually moved past just sleeping with a lot of people. Her indiscretions while with me included sleeping with one guy, attempting to with another but couldn't find a ride. Met a couple of guys on OKCupid and may or may not have with them. She had a sugar daddy that she lied about. She was on ten or more dating/fuckbuddy websites. Had several people that she would sext and cyber with occasionally. Traded nudes with lots of those guys. Among other things. She has been in therapy and institutions a few times throughout her life and it's never taken. Until now. She's been good for the better part of a year.\n\nI believe that she has been 'clean'. Although she's still friends with that pedophile mentioned above. I also know addiction first-handed. I doubt I could trust her again but she knows that and has promised full transparency. No snooping through her phone to find out if she's been fucking someone or anything. This women was/is the love of my life. Aside from these things, which were devastating, she is absolutely perfect. We were perfect. My life has been amazing since I left her and I completely got over it, but I still know that with her I was complete. She lied, cheated, made me lose my mind for awhile, but an addiction is an addiction.", "summary": "My exfiance is a sex addict who seems to be clean now. We're both convinced that we were meant for each other. Idk what to do."} {"id": "t3_11zodi", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "How do you tell someone that their spouse is cheating on them?", "post": "I've been carrying this guilt around for a long time and it's time that I man up (figuratively, because I'm a chick) and I tell the wife that her husband is cheating on her. \n\nWe have known this family for a number of years. I went to school with their older daughters, and our younger sisters are best friends. \n\nA while back, our families got together for dinner and polite company. The next day, the father gets my number off of facebook and proceeds to text me for a few hours. Myself being totally innocent at the time had absolutely no idea what he was doing until he asked me if I would like to have some fun. I pointed out that he was married, to which he said \"I get bored.\" \n\nI told him that I wouldn't rat him out to his wife as long as he kept his distance and left me the hell alone. \n\nI went to work the next day, and vented to my coworkers about it. A lot of us had attended high school and knew the family as well. Turns out, this dude has gotten with more than a few girls my age. This dude has been stepping out on his wife for quite a while, and I feel like shit for telling him that I wouldn't say anything. \n\nA few months ago, he contacted me on facebook. \n\nThis obligates me to spill the beans, but how do you tell someone that their husband is a cheating asshat?\n\nWhat do, Reddit?", "summary": "Dude is porking other girls outside his marriage and propositioned me, now the guilt of not telling her is getting to me."} {"id": "t3_2b5313", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[25/m]How do I tell my girlfriend [25/f] that I have no relationship history?", "post": "I could probably write a (bad) book about how badly my teenage years went, ended up isolated socially and an unkissed virgin until I was almost 24. For the better part of a year I have managed to improve myself, I moved, got a better job, worked out, had a few encounters with girls. Now I have been seeing a really great girl for a couple of months and understandably she is trying to dig into my history a bit, but she has already noticed I am being a bit evasive on the subject. \n\nI have been \"pretending\" that I am a normal, outgoing, confident and social person, when really I feel like I am not. And even if you argue that I am, I have no doubts that if I tell her the entire truth she will think less of me.\n\nFrom what angle should I explain myself from, and/or in what way should I bend the truth to come out of this in the best way possible? I am even fine with fabricating complete lies if that's what it takes.", "summary": "Girlfriend want to know about my past relationships when I was an nerdy, unkissed loser until I was 24."} {"id": "t3_3vsdca", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My wife [34F] of 15 years passed away earlier this year, does this get any easier?", "post": "My wife died in an accident earlier this year. We'd been together for 15 years, since I was 21 and she was 19. I've had so many people tell me that it gets easier, it'll get better, I will be okay but I wake up everyday and nothing, it doesn't hurt any less. The pain hasn't dulled in the slightest. It feels like everyday is worse than the last when I've heard it's supposed to be better with each passing day. \n\nAll I can think of was I never planned for this. We talked about adopting a child or two. We bought our first house together back in January, we talked about spending our Christmas in the Caribbean as we both really can't handle the cold. All I have these days is my job and every single person there treats me like a fragile toy or something. It gives me something to do though, it kills half my day so I don't spend that time bombarded with memories. \n\nThe rest of the time though, every single thing reminds me of her. My friends are completely supportive and so are my family members but it's just not helpful you know? It doesn't change the fact that the love of my life is gone. It doesn't change the fact that I don't know if I will ever love anyone the way I loved her, if at all. I know how melodramatic this sounds but it's how I feel. \n\nI don't know how to be better despite so many people saying it'll be easier. \n\nDoes it get any easier? Because it's only gotten worse for me.\n\nIn March, heaven might have gained an angel but I lost mine.", "summary": "wife passed away earlier this year, I've been stuck in a rut and it feels like I'll be here for a long time to come"} {"id": "t3_34zihw", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Boyfriend [M/21] struggles with alcoholism, how can I [F/22] help him?", "post": "I made an account just to post here. I am in a terrible spot in my relationship and though the wise people of reddit could help. \nI [22/F] have been with my boyfriend [21/M] for two years. I can honestly say he is the love of my life. I want to marry him and have a family someday when we're done with college. \nHowever, about 6 months in the relationship, he admitted to me about past occurrences with the law. He has a history of drug and alcohol abuse but saw our relationship as a new chance. I took this to heart and have done nothing but encourage him, like calling him just to tell him he's important or not drinking around him.\n He got arrested for drunk driving one night on his way to get me from class. I stayed with him the whole year he was on house arrest (although I spend 1/2 that on an out of state internship). Now he is on probation and thinks maybe one or two drinks is okay, even though it goes explicitly against the rules.\n I've done almost everything in my power besides breaking up with him to Give some kind of \"wake up call\" but he continues with immature behavior. What should I do to help an alcoholic who I love dearly?", "summary": "My bf struggles with alcoholism, and I've stuck with him through house arrest and probation, but he still lies about his habits. How can I help him with his addiction?"} {"id": "t3_2l6epu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "me [24 F] with my bff [24 F] disrespectfully bailed on me, hasn't apologized, what does this mean!?!?", "post": "Halloween. All week I ask this girl that I've known for 10+ years what she's doing and invited her to my friend's party. At 5 pm, I text her, \"are u coming?\" she says: \"that's the plan isn't it?\"\n\nso my other girl and I go to the liqueur store and I pick her booze up, we go to her apt, where she is fake getting ready, then she starts saying weird shit that makes me believe she's about to bail like \"my bf is asking who's party we're going to\" and I start bitching at her being like \"can u not do this to me, like say you're going, make me come here, then change your mind?\"\n\nshe cuts me off, says she doesn't know what I'm talking about, leaves the room, then yells from her bedroom \"can my friend come?\" I say yes, then she spews BS about how she will meet us there. I don't even want to fight with her so I just say okay and leave.\n\nShe ignored my texts the rest of the night and she hasn't talked to me since. Am I overreacting in thinking that she doesn't give a fuck about our friendship? What do I do if she texts me?", "summary": "my bff ditched me on Halloween after she makes me scoop beer for her then ignores my texts and hasn't talked to me since"} {"id": "t3_50fsdj", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I'm absolutely terrified for her.", "post": "I can't even properly place how long this has been happening.\n\nMyself: 18. Chronically ill, in pain most of the time, depressed and schizoaffective. Currently out of work and out of school, because I genuinely can't get my shit together well enough -- though I'm trying to get a job and planning to start at community college soon. My parents are pretty damn good, but don't really understand everything that's going on with me and tend to get frustrated when I try to help them get it.\n\nMy SO: Also 18. Depressed and anxious at *least*, and showing serious alcoholic tendencies, but we have no idea what the \"facts\" are about her mental health. This is because her family situation is horrible. She's working part-time (as often as she possibly can) and going to college, still living at home and unable to support herself alone. Her father is one of the most disgusting piece of shit humans I've ever had the displeasure of knowing of. He's severely emotionally abusive, to both her, her mother, and her adolescent brother. No one can do shit about it because he provides for the whole family, basically.\n\nWe live several states apart from one another and have been together for a while. And it drives me absolutely up the wall knowing I can't do anything for her. Everything is too fucked up, and I'm terrified on a daily basis that something's going to go wrong -- which is lovely, considering I'm *already* paranoid.\n\nI love her more than I could even express, and honestly, our relationship is one of the best I ever had. But being forced to sit idly by while the person I love is subjected to this, is unsafe, is feeling worse and worse every day... I have no idea what to do. This is so impossible to bear.", "summary": "I'm chronically ill and my life's in vague shambles. My partner is in an abusive household she can't get out of. I'm so scared for her and there's literally nothing more I can do."} {"id": "t3_1szzp6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [30 F] tell him [32 M] I've had a crush on him for years?", "post": "At one point years ago, we went to the same school. We had a class together and I learned his name and found him online. I wanted to talk to him back then, or just send a message, but never had the nerve. So, we never actually had a conversation. School ended, I moved away, had multiple relationships and jobs... \n\nBut I never forgot him.\n\nA few times a year I would google him to see what he was doing. I found his blog which went as far back as to when we were in school together, and found out we had a lot more in common that I originally thought. If only I had known then what I know now, I definitely would have tried to talk to him. \"If I ever see him again, I'll march right up and start a conversation like a normal person!\" I've been telling myself. Yeah right, I'd probably lose my nerve again. :( \n\nI'm going to be in his city for a few days during the holidays to visit friends. There is a tiny chance that he will be at a bar at the same time that I am, but a bigger chance he won't be. I live far away now and don't go back for visits often.\n\nReddit, should I message him and confess everything? \n\nI don't want him to feel creeped out, and if he wasn't interested then I would respect that. A flat-out rejection might be just the thing to finally get him out of my head.\n\nHas anyone else ever gone through this? I've read a lot about \"limerance\" and it sounds pretty close to my situation. I don't know what else to do to get over it though.", "summary": "I've had a secret crush on this guy for years. I'll be in his city for the holidays. Should I tell him?"} {"id": "t3_3ccjm5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 M] told a girl I liked her [19F] in a drawn out, multi-step, inconclusive manner - next step?", "post": "So I had this really awkward talk with the girl I've liked for the past year now. We work in the same place so I started by asking if anyone had been asking her about us - I now regret this and I wish I'd just said I like you, let's go out some time. Instead I guess I wanted to gage her reaction and I ended up jokingly asking if she had a 'crazy crush' on me. She laughs and says 'not crazy'. A few sentences when we talk about what other people have said I say the words 'so if I did ask you out, what'd you say' to which she says 'I'd give it a go'. We kind of ended it there because we both had places we realy needed to be.\n\nToday we talked again, kind of breifly. This time I just said 'cut to the chase, d'you want to go out with me sometime' She once again said she'd give it ago but the way was kind of non-enthusiastic. I wasn't expecting her to celebrate but the way she said it made me feel bad, I felt like it was something I was now pressuring her into after a year of being friends. Anyways, I check my phone and see my grand dad just died so said we'll leave this hear since I have to go for a few days (almost instantly because of funeral circumstances). \n\nBasically I feel like I've dragged this on in a really weird and awkward way. I think it's kind of clear that we both like each other, but she has some reservations because of her own life and I did too which was why I hadn't asked before. Basically, how would you proceed?\n\nThe way I'm thinking is over the next few days, send a few texts, give it some space for a few days or so and then when it makes sense ask her to actually do something and say let's make a date of it. That sound reasonable?", "summary": "How should I proceed having kind of established me and a girl like each other in the most mammby pampy way possible"} {"id": "t3_35p9sh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17M] concerned about age gap with a potential girlfriend", "post": "I am an exchange student in a foreign country this year, and in the next few days i will be going out with a girl that i met recently.\nMy concern is the age difference and wonder what you guys think about it. I am 17 and will be turning 18 in 2 months, she is 16 and her birthday isnt until november. \n\nSo i am 1.5 years older than her and it makes me a bit unsure, even though when i met her i assumed she was 17/18 based on her looks.\n\nI recently read a post about some girl (15) that was going out with a guy that was like 24. I know that is totally different but just reading the stuff about how the family was very concerned etc puts me off. Because there *would* be a period of a few months where i am 18 and she is 16, and i worry about the connotations of that and what her family etc would think.", "summary": "Im 17 almost 18 and a girl i am going out with in the next few days is 16, im worried about the age gap."} {"id": "t3_435d8l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my husband [26 M] married 4 years, he cheated on me for first 3 years and I'm so lost", "post": "My husband and I have been together for 8 years, but married 4. Our first 3 years of marriage, he cheated on me several times. He slept with another woman once, but sexted/exchanged nudes with other women/a co-worker several other times. \n\nI want to be clear, I am not looking to divorce at this point, I'm just looking to see if we can reconcile things and perhaps move on from there. I have tried to hold it together for the past 3 years of knowing and I feel like I'm falling apart. My main reason for not divorcing is that we have 2 young children together and I don't think it's healthy for them to grow up in a single parent home. Plus I don't think I could ever trust any other man again, especially around my kids (due to traumatizing events in my own childhood).\n\nI am lost, I don't have many friends who understand what this feels like or know how to help. I feel emotionally dead inside, super worn out and struggling to even mother my children some days. I've started counselling but I wondered if anyone on here could offer support. What else can I do for help?", "summary": "Husband of 4 years has cheated on me for 3 of them, I am extremely worn out mentally, physically and emotionally. Have started counselling so I can be a better mother, but still don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_54gthd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 3 years. She keeps dropping hints that she expects a proposal, and I'm not ready. We have a long trip planned soon, and I know she'll be miserable there if I don't pop the question. Should I warn her before we go that it won't be happening while we're there?", "post": "We're visiting our college, which is important to both of us, for homecoming. Her whole family and my whole family will be there. She has mentioned multiple times, and had her best friend text me, that that weekend is her ideal time to be proposed to.\n\nI'm not completely ready to propose, and I know I will not be doing it in 2 weeks. I think I want to propose to her eventually, but not right now. Should I talk to her before we go so she knows exactly where I stand so she doesn't get let down when while we're there?", "summary": "Big weekend coming up, she expects proposal, it's not coming. How to warn her it won't be coming?"} {"id": "t3_212t7b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[M18] Why do I still feel like this?", "post": "A little short story of my past relationship nearly 2 years ago now.\n\nI was 16 and my girlfriend cheated on me at parties. Several times. and I knew about each time she did them. But idiot me stayed with her thinking she'd change each time. So before every party she went to, i'd get very paranoid. Couldn't eat, nothing entertained me, became very down and of course she cheated on me, everything came out, back bf and gf (We actually never broke up until the final time she did it.) and then a couple month later we're back to square one.\n\nNow i'm with my new girlfriend of 6+ months [F17] And she is amazing. I think the world of her, she thinks the world of me, and so forth, all the gooey stuff. Sexual life is good, talking is good.\n\nSo, tomorrow, she's going to someone's 18th Party.. and it's starting again. I having no reason not to trust her. it's just.. that's what happened last time, and my heart got broke. Why do I still feel like this? I don't want to become paranoid like last time and ask her questions like \"Did any kiss/touch/etc you?\" No. nonono. I can't do that again. I have said a couple things like, make sure no boys do anything and of course she said \"no of course not\", and the all the sexy, cute stuff comes out like yours is the only one for me etc.\n\nHow can I stop feeling like this? I don't want to be feeling paranoid like this everytime she goes out to partys. It's been 2 freaking years since the last time too. My head is just a complete mess.", "summary": "Past realtionship, gf cheated multiply times at partys, got me paranoid, two years later, new gf, going to party, paranoid again for no reason."} {"id": "t3_3dpo6k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with [21 M] not really sure what to think", "post": "I want to apologize in advance if this is in the wrong place or sounds too frivolous/needy. I'm not really sure what to think about my situation and whether I should keep talking to this guy or just let it go.\n\nA month or so ago I started talking to this guy, really nice and he seemed genuinely interested. I probably talked to him more than I talked to my best friends. We exchanged numbers, we hung out, etc. Thing is, we haven't really hung out in person much at all. Once he came over to my house and stayed for several hours, another time we went to see a movie together. That's it. Other than that, we text and snapchat a lot but that's about it. I think it's more to do with our work schedules than anything else, but it always seems like we make plans often but never really follow through with them (playing volleyball together, going swimming, getting coffee, etc.) \n\nRecently he's kind of been more distant though. He goes hours and even days without so much as opening one of my snapchats (he might update his story, snapchat other people, but doesn't even open mine). I also followed him on Twitter a while back and he never did follow me back. The thing is, he always seems genuinely interested in me in person. Despite all of this other stuff he seemed really excited to go to the movies with me, we talked a lot, it was like nothing had changed. Usually when he starts a conversation with me on snapchat or text he sounds like he genuinely wants to talk to me. But halfway through these conversations he just sort of stops responding and ignores me until he starts this whole process again. \n\nAgain, I really hope I don't sound too overly-attached or needy. I just don't have much experience with relationships (I've talked to quite a few guys but I've never actually been in a relationship with anyone, they all just stop talking to me after a few weeks) and I'm not sure if I should keep going with this guy or just move on at this point. What do you guys think I should do or say? Any advice you can give me would be really appreciated, thanks in advance.", "summary": "Getting mixed signals from this guy I've been talking to for a while, not sure if I should keep at it or just move on."} {"id": "t3_2vox4e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [F23] is involved in an emotionally abusive relationship with another [F23]. What can I do to help?", "post": "My close friend has been in a relationship for over a year with another woman. My friend has gone through a lot of stress because she just came out to her family and her partner is the first girl she has ever been with. \n\nI have tried to be open-minded about her partner, but recent events have caused me to lose my patience. Her partner has essentially decided she isn't sexually attracted to my friend anymore, and while she still wants to be in a relationship with her (because my friend is very successful career wise and has a lot of money), she is going to start sleeping with other women. When my friend says anything about being uncomfortable with the situation, her partner simply says, \"Break up with me then.\"\n\nWhat irritates me the most about all of this is that her partner has essentially brainwashed my friend into believing this relationship is healthy. She tells her that open relationships are normal in the LGBT community, and that \"straight people don't get it.\" But my friend **does not want an open relationship and is not comfortable with it**. The absolute **worst** part about all of this is that to further humiliate my friend, her partner *discusses* her sex life with her and has even brought sex partners over to my friend's house!\n\nI am at a loss on what to do. When I try to discuss it with her, she talks to me about how her friend's who are straight just don't understand. I can't believe this waste of space person exists and I want to slap her in the face. I am so concerned that if I try to intervene I will lose a friend. What on earth can I do?", "summary": "Friend is being emotionally abused by her partner who is forcing an open relationship on her and humiliating her. How can I help?"} {"id": "t3_2d9qo6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my SO [19 F] suddenly stops talking to me with no warning sometimes.", "post": "We've been really good friends for several years and harbored feelings for each other for most of that time. \nWe've been \"together\" for a few months now, and everything has been going very well. We never really fight and when we do we're able to discuss things pretty openly and calmly so we can come to a resolution.\n\nUnfortunately, we live about 8 hours away from each other. She visits her family here often and she has plans to move back home ASAP, but it's still pretty taxing. \n\nThe only real problem I have is that occasionally she will just stop talking to me. There's no warning for when it happens. The silence typically lasts 3-5 days. It really sucks and I don't ever know what to do when it happens. I've brought it up to her before, but we never really come to any sort of resolution. \n\nIs it okay for me to be upset by this? I've had a string of very unhealthy relationships prior to this, and I've picked up a bad habit of minimizing my feelings for the sake of other people. She's done a lot for me and I don't want to make a big deal over something that I have no right being upset about.", "summary": "Long-distance girlfriend stops talking to me with no warning sometimes. Is it okay for me to be upset by this?"} {"id": "t3_1mdw1k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [22/M] losing interest in my SO [21/F] of 18 months. Advice on how to handle my feelings or what to do!", "post": "I've been with my girlfriend 18 months but recently I've started to think about a life outside our relationship. These thoughts started about a week or so ago and have only gotten stronger over the past few days.\n\nAllow me to describe the scenario:\n\n* I've found myself looking at other women the way I looked at my SO before we were together. I'd never be unfaithful (I know from experience the pain and upset that comes with it) but I feel guilty none the less.\n \n* We're having regular sex but it feels like we are doing it for the sake of it when we're horny rather than because there is a connection (at least that's how it feels to me). She's quite good looking so there is attraction in that sense of the word but in terms of personality I feel as though I'm tired of her, that shes annoying me or perhaps we are incompatible (this feeling comes and goes).\n \n* I've found myself making up excuses to not meet up with her or stay at her place despite the fact she lives less than an hours drive away. She is in no way a needy partner but recently I've been finding it hard to give her the attention and affection one would usually give to a SO.\n \n* The worst part (and it kills me to say this) is when I say I love you I don't feel as though I mean it. I feel like a lier despite the fact that I obviously care about her, just how deeply is something I struggle to define.\n\n---\n\n**Should I talk to her about how I'm feeling? If so has /r/relationships got any tips on how to start/steer the conversation?**\n\n**Have any of you ever found yourself feeling the same or in a similar situation? If so how did it pan over time?**\n\n**Any general tips to help myself understand how I am feeling or what I want**\n\nThanks in advance for any advice. I feel relieved just typing that out.", "summary": "Losing interest in my girlfriend of 18 months, confused about feelings and how to handle the situation. Looking for advice!"} {"id": "t3_2ozidz", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by missing most of my final even though I was on campus", "post": "So today I had my last final of the semester in genetics. Most people in my class are failing but I had the chance to get an A if I got an A on the final. I was up all night studying and left my house this morning at 8 so as to not be late and give myself a chance to study a bit before the test. Now the class normally begins at 10:50 and my university does this thing where your final normally begins at the beginning of the hour your class starts rather than the normal time do I assumed my test was at 10. Flash forward to 9:55 and I'm waiting in the lobby of the bio building but there is no one else waiting. It is then that I begin to realize the test is not in fact at 10. I finally find the syllabus for the class and there in all capital letters: FINAL EXAM 9:00.", "summary": "I got to school at 8, thought my exam started at 10, figured out (at 10) that my exam actually started an hour prior and I had been sitting in the building the whole time"} {"id": "t3_uwbr8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, What are some of your craziest/most fucked up roommate stories?", "post": "Anything from crazy nights to hospital visits to waking up in three towns over. I'll start: \n\nThis happened my freshmen year (2years ago) of college. I stayed in one night to catch up on some homework/study while my roommate and some of his friends were going out drinking. 2 hours later I get a knock on my door. It was his two friends. Apparently my roommate decided to steal someone's drink which unbeknownst to him it was drugged with something. Me and his two friends were now tasked with bringing 200lbs of dead weight up stairs to the third floor in a building with no elevator without catching any attention. The night ended with him on the floor of the second floor stair case posted up with a book open and a pair of sunglasses on until the morning.", "summary": "Roommate stole drink, drugged himself. I was tasked with bringing him upstairs. Ended up on the second floor (I lived on the 3rd) in a corner with a book and sunglasses."} {"id": "t3_1hktq1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22] boyfriend [23] was just diagnosed with biopolar disorder. Looking for advice for dealing with this in the long term.", "post": "My boyfriend of one year was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He's been really bothered by it this past week. I told him that it didn't matter to me and that it didn't affect our relationship.\n\nBut then I really started thinking about it and am a little bit worried. We aren't living together but have plans of moving in together in a couple of months. He has episodes of really high energy occasionally and I've seen him get extremely stressed out over seemingly little things, but other than that he's never really struck me as abnormal in any way. I'm worried that things might change when we move in together.\nI'm curious as to if anyone else has experience living with an SO with bipolar disorder and if they have any advice for me.", "summary": "My [22] boyfriend [23] was just diagnosed with biopolar disorder. Looking for advice for dealing with this in the long term. "} {"id": "t3_31rn9o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (24M) too jealous in this relationship. I want to leave her (25F) because I think it's the only way to be happy.", "post": "Let me start off by saying this is my first relationship. I lost my virginity to her and my first kiss, I was a late bloomer. She has some history and even after being together for 10 months I still think about it, mostly because I'm still angry she told me about it within the first week of dating without me asking, I get jealous that she got to experience other people and I didn't. Even more the fact that she hooked up with a guy 2 weeks before our first date and the fact that she was texting 3-4 other guys while we were dating. My roommate tells me I should break up with her because I don't love her, I still don't know what I feel.\n\nI have depression so I'm afraid the only reason I worry too much is cause of it and it will be the reason I end it with her. \n\nI obsess over leaving her yet when I'm faced with her I feel better, she's a friend.\nShe's the perfect match for me and she's beautiful and she's told me she wants to marry me. I don't know what I should do, I want to see other people and thinking that she got to do that and she knows I haven't, it makes me a bit mad that she wants to lock it in with me.\n\nShe's super nice and has done nothing wrong, I just get jealous too much cause she talks to other guys and I worry way too much that she has feelings for others. I'm reluctant to trust her for something she did in the past. I can't over see this. It's wrecking my mind.\n\nI need some advice, if I can't get any I will leave her sometime this week.", "summary": "I believe depression is the issue I can't be with her, but yet again it might just be me not loving her and I don't know what to do in my first relationship"} {"id": "t3_3x8vgj", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU, by leaving my wallet with $300 in my car.", "post": "So my wife, my daughter and myself went to a families house last night and got home pretty late. We were all really tired and ready to get home to get some sleep. My wife had just handed me my wallet before going into 7/11 to get a water and I set it down in the console not even thinking about it. We get home, I grab my sleeping daughter and 2 shopping bags and think nothing of it since I was so tired and ready to go inside to sleep. I wake up for work and couldn't remember if I left my wallet in the car or not. Check the house, nothing so I get in my car to leave for work thinking it was in there. What's strange is I didn't have to unlock my car. I remember locking the door the night before because it beeps really loud when it locks. Shit shit shit.\n\nFuck me, my wallet has been stolen. $300 that will go towards gifts and gas until next Friday when I get paid, all gone. Now I will have to sell my only possession that I love because I fucked up. Well I guess we had some good times this year ol' buddy ol' pal. Maybe I will be able to get another", "summary": "Left my wallet in my car because I'm a fucking retard when I'm tired and it got stolen. $300 gone. Thanks ~~Obama~~ brain"} {"id": "t3_52yacd", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Dress length help, and what should the groom wear?", "post": "Weddit! I ordered a dress online that I really like (pretty much as close to my dream dress as I can find). However, it is TIGHT. I mean, it's form fitting/cut that way/hugs all my curves. Soooo...FH and I are big time into dancing, not pros or anything but we LOVE to boogie. So now I'm second guessing my dress choice and am considering a shorter dress so I can comfortably dance with my husband. I love the look of some of the short/tea length dresses I've seen online. \n\nHOWEVER...I would love to see my man in a fancy suit. Not a tux, necessarily, but a nice, black suit. Would this \"match\" a short wedding dress? Let's assume the dress is more formal than casual. I'd put money on the fact that he'll take his jacket off for the reception and dancing, but will we look mismatched standing together at the ceremony, me in a short dress, him in a suit? About our reception: appetizers, drinks, dessert, not a formal dinner. Opinions/personal experience, please!", "summary": "Does it look weird if the bride is in a tea/knee length but fancy dress and the groom is in a quality black suit?"} {"id": "t3_1egd0h", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I(23M) am chasing after a \"engaged\" girl(25F) who has a kid.", "post": "I just the Quotation marks because she has told me that they are no longer engaged but she still lives with him and she still wears her ring, sometimes, she did have it off when she came out with me for my friend's birthday. They don't have the best relationship as it is, from what she tells me they fight alot, and he forgot her birthday this year. Her and I have alot a fun together, talk everyday alot. We've been friends for about 6 months and recently I asked her out on a date and she told me \"You know I'm in a weird situation\" but it told her I didn't care and she agreed. I don't know how to read this situation. Am I in a no win scenario?", "summary": "I like girl who I've been friends with for a while she's engaged with a kid, but tells me their relationship is very rocky."} {"id": "t3_2w8df6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] two years, haven't spoken to gf, went on a date with another", "post": "Hi, I've been having issues and my heart is currently pounding, like someone's stabbing me and telling me what I did was wrong and oh boy do I know I did. Here goes the summary: \n\nBeen talking and seeing a girl for a year or two, first began dating in University, when we were on a trip to Germany, we grew very close, very close. \n\nTo me, she's a model, she's a woman that I would never leave and I think she's above beyond anything, truly the best being in the world to me. However, about four to five months ago, a relative of her died, I offered to come and support her, she avoided much of what I said or at least it looked like it to me but was trying to be nice about it, and I noticed it.\n\nThis was on Friday, afterwards we were talking about meeting up on Saturday but she never messaged or called. From that point on we never spoke, it's been like this for 3-4 months or maybe even a bit more but certainly less than 7 months. \n\nHowever, what hurts me the most, is that I went out to cinema with another girl, and I feel like I am being disrespectful to the woman I truly first sought out at first. \n\nReddit, what is your opinion?", "summary": "Haven't spoken to girlfriend for 5 months for weird reasons, went out with another woman, guilt is clear and I think what I'm doing is complete disrespect, wat do"} {"id": "t3_igz7e", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "I feel stuck", "post": "This is a bit complicated, and probably more than a little longwinded, but I will try to keep my situation brief.\n\n+I am currently enrolled in a science-based university program that I dislike, I'm going to be a second-year student this September, and I've never had a class that I legitimately liked.\n\n+I can't quit this program because I need the credits from the courses offered to enroll in another program that I don't care for.\n\n+I'm only enrolling into that program because it promises a job with good hours and good pay, but I have had experience with that job before from volunteering and if I really end up working at that job, I would probably hate it.\n\n+I can complain about my planned education/career path all day, but when asked what I would like to be ideally doing in the future, I can't come up with an answer. I feel as if I'm legitimately good at nothing.\n\n+I can't talk about this to my family because as soon as I start mentioning that I might want to switch programs/careers, my mom flips out. I love her and I can talk to her about anything else, but my education/career path is a no-no, apparently.", "summary": "I hate my career path but I can't think of anything else to do since I'm not really good at anything."} {"id": "t3_135uh2", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(21/M) Studying abroad in Australia next semester, and I don't know how to explain to my (19/F) girlfriend why.. Any advice?", "post": "EDIT: Okay, so my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now, we are best friends, and have never had any relationship issues. We hang out with the same group of friends, which is primarily my college buddies (not the issue), and have grown very close. I have always been an independent, social, and confident person, and I have always enjoyed my personal freedom and space. My girlfriend knows that, but recently I feel we have grown so close, there's no separation.. I have recently applied to, and been accepted for a semester program in Australia (I am currently a junior at Colorado State Univ.), I have committed to the program, and have already told her this. However, I have decided that it is best for her and I to spend some time apart for this next semester, and to casually date other people. My girlfriend is very much in love with me, and has grown attached I'm afraid, although I do love her as a person, and as a best friend, I do completely believe we need time apart, in order to mature our pallet, so to speak, for people we might want to spend our lives together.. Basically my question is how can I explain this to her, without completely breaking her heart, and let her know that I do really care about her, but also really do need time apart to pursue my own personal conquests, as well as casually and socially date other people?", "summary": "Studying abroad next semester, need time apart from my GF of 2 yrs, dont know how to explain this to her without destroying her."} {"id": "t3_2hsxuc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 M] have contradictory ideals in regards to my [18 F] crush who I want to ask out.", "post": "Alright, so this might just be a stupid question that I need not worry about but I'll just come right out with it. Alright, so I have been recently crushing on this girl that I have known for about 4 years. I don't see her often anymore since she goes to a different school.\n\nAnyways, I have recently been paying her visits every so often at her work contemplating whether or not I want to ask her out. Only recently have I decided I do it. So I'm mustering up the courage to call/text her and then I see a Facebook post from her along the lines of \"I am humbled constantly by god\" and some quote by a guy glorifying god. That in a sense off set my though process and made me question if I was compatible with her.\n\nLike I said before I have known her for 4 years so I do know she is a devout Christian. Now I'm not one to really care about what people give a damn about, I'm rather ambivalent about the whole thing actually so that's why I was offset by her Facebook post. I still want to ask her out but I don't know if I can make her happy by not having the same passion for something like that.\n\nSo /r/relationships I am asking you what advice would you give me in regards to how it is being in a relationship with someone who you have known for a long while and have a decent amount of stuff in common, but a vital ideal that pretty much defines a person is exactly the polar opposite of the other.", "summary": "I have been crushing on a girl I have known for for years and was thinking of asking her out. However her outright devotion to God is throwing me off a bit."} {"id": "t3_2s8egh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [39F] has fled her own home because her boyfriend's [42M] 18-yr-old son threatened her when she asked him to move out--cops say he has squatter's rights. Advice?", "post": "A friend of mine is dating a man who has an 18-year-old son with Asberger's--they've been together three years. The guy and the son moved into her home last year. She enforces basic rules in the house, but overall she has taken this kid on trips, bought him clothes, food, supported him, you name it. Her boyfriend is \"nice\" but a total pushover--raised this kid with no boundaries, rules, respect for others. He was diagnosed with Aspergers a few years ago and holds a part-time job.\n\nOver the year, the son has threatened my friend with physical violence after an argument probably three times. He is verbally abusive on a daily basis. My friend finally decided she'd had enough and asked him to move out. Well, he called the police. The police said the kid has \"squatter's rights\" and she can't kick him out, and she has to give him 30-days notice. Ok, done. But for now, she's terrified to stay there with him. He collects knives and swords and has threatened to use them. The cops say they can't do anything unless he actually \"tries something.\" WHAT THE FUCK.\n\nSo she is crashing with me. Kicked out of her own home by this psychotic, asshole 18-year-old, and her \"boyfriend\" is just wringing his pathetic little hands and standing in the middle of it all, doing nothing.\n\nAre the cops correct here? They said even getting a lawyer won't help, and then can't remove him for 30 days. \n\nAny advice? I honestly feel like getting my 19-year-old brother and his friends to go over there and kick the shit out of him.", "summary": "My friend has fled her own home because her boyfriend's 18-yr-old son, who has threatened her verbally, won't move out. Cops say he can stay for 30 days, she's homeless until then. Advice?"} {"id": "t3_4rmq27", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [33 M] and my wife [32 F] disagreement about making plans", "post": "Hi,\nfirst of all, I know this whole incident will sound trivial, but my wife and I have been going back and forth with it all day, so I'm looking for either reassurance, or someone impartial to let me know if I'm looking at it wrong.\nMy wife's license expired, so I drive her to pretty much everything now. She phoned the opticians today to have an eye exam, and booked an appointment for tomorrow, then called her work and asked to change shifts (I drop her off at work each day) and didn't say anything to me about, despite the fact that I was in the same room as her.\nI asked that in future, if i'm there at the time she is making plans, if she could run something like that by me first to make sure I don't have any conflicts, (if it were the other way around, if I was told a time for an appointment, I'd say 'let me just check I can do that', then cover the phone and say something like 'are you okay to drop me off at the opticians tomorrow about 10am?', but maybe that's just me). My wife says that she shouldn't have to 'ask permission', but I really don't see it as that. I said that if her plans involve me, then it would be common courtesy to make sure it's okay with me too before going ahead with it. \nMy wife argues that if it was a problem, she'd find an alternative solution (eg. change the appointment, or get an Uber), so it doesn't matter if she runs it by me first anyway, but to me this seems rude. Am I wrong about this, or am I asking too much?", "summary": "I do the driving, so should my wife check it's not a problem for me to drop her somewhere if her original plans change?"} {"id": "t3_qoex5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Honest question; if governments are allowed to hire military contractors, is there anything stopping an NGO from hiring them to catch a wanted war criminal?", "post": "With all the Kony business, my friends and I were talking [7] and my friend challenged me to think about how we would physically go after someone if we absolutely needed to.\n\nMy friend, lets call him mark because that's his name, pondered and asked, 'what is actually stopping us from getting on a plane with a hundred people and trying to capture him?'\n\nMy other friend, lets call him nick (not his real name), responded \"isn't that the whole reason he surrounds himself with armed child soldiers?\"\n\nMe and mark; \"Oh yeah...\"\n\nThen nick, clearly wearing the most reasonable head at the time asks, \"so, what's to stop a site like Reddit (yes they are redditors, obviously) from amassing a chunk of money like they did for the orphanage, and hire some ex SAS commando sniper team to take the guy out?\"\n\nI asked; \"Well, why doesn't a charity just do that?\"\n\n...", "summary": "So Reddit; whats to stop a charity from hiring a private military contracting company and going after war criminals? Or even just placing a bounty on a criminals head big enough to attract the \"right\" people?"} {"id": "t3_2hfgaf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25M] with my girlfriend [26F] of 4-5 months, don't really have anything in common, already thinking about not being with her.", "post": "Hello, this is obviously a throwaway account.\n\nI've been with my girlfriend for about 4-5 months now and I'm already doubting our relationship. I'm worried that the problems I have are the result of an innate shallowness I have. I find her attractive physically but I'm finding her as a person to be unattractive.\n\nI don't consider myself to be a bastion of humanity, but I keep myself fit, I take care of myself, I work hard and I'm quite popular as a result of a lot of this. She also works very hard but doesn't really do anything else. She complains about being overweight but doesn't actively try to change that (ignoring the fact that she *isn't* overweight and I tell her likewise) and isn't particularly active socially or physically.\n\nWe also have very little in common. I'm quite nerdy and passionate about a lot of things and she just isn't really. I'm very easy going so I'm happy to cuddle up and watch whatever she wants to or talk about what she wants but there's is absolutely nothing I do she takes interest in. Again, I don't think this is at her fault, there's just very little we have in common.\n\nI enjoy her company, and the sex is amazing (even though my sex drive is much lower than her's) but I just think this sort of relationship is going no where. I feel guilty enjoying my sporting lifestyle while not spending time with her very often in the week.\n\nAm I being shallow and is this a facet of a lot of relationships? I'm quite inexperienced with relationships and my last one (1.5 years) failed again, because I started to lose respect and attraction for my partner.", "summary": "Been in a relationship for 4-5 months. Starting to lose respect and attraction for my partner because of conflicting interests and personalities. Am I being shallow? What can I do about this?"} {"id": "t3_kt7lb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "HEY REDDIT! What is the most memorable punishment you've ever received?", "post": "After hearing some insane stories in English class today, I wanted to hear more stories. So come on Reddit, tell me your stories!\n\nI'll go first.\n\nWhen I was little, I took a permanent marker and doodled on my wall. Although my parents rarely flogged me, this act really pissed them off. My dad took a wooden broomstick about 4 inches in diameter, told me to bend over, and proceeded to flog me so hard the stick snapped in half. Taught me to never be an annoying little douche again.\n\nAnother one, not really a punishment, but outrageous nonetheless. I got in trouble at school in 8th grade and my parents were out of town on a business trip. When the school called home, they found out that my parents were out of town and proceeded to send me to the police station. At the police station, I was told that according to State Law, it was illegal for me to stay home alone without my parents (I was 15). Instead of letting me stay over with my relative living a state over, the family and child services put me up for adoption and sent me to live with a foster family for 4 days until my parents came back from their business trip.\n\nBest part: my foster family was black and lived in the ghetto and was taking care of 4 other children. I was a 5'7, 120 lb Asian kid. Even the cat could beat me up. My stay was actually fun, and the family actually used an adoption grant of $200 to buy me new clothes!\n\nAnd so that's the story of how I came to love R&B and Rap. ;)", "summary": "Asian kid gets in trouble at school, sent to live w/ foster family in ghetto, bought some nice clothe$$$. "} {"id": "t3_l17hs", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Finally found my major, I think. How do I feel good about it?", "post": "To clarify a bit, I've been a huge major hopper over my first two years of college. I started as pre-med biology, then went to English, then to physics--very short period--and then to computer science. My other friends have had two majors maximum, and my parents didn't go to college. I've been taking chemistry this semester, and I LOVE IT. I am reading books outside of class on it for fun, going through the lessons on Khan Academy, asking questions in class, and otherwise engaging with the material in a way I haven't since about eighth grade. I really, really think chemistry is the place for me. The thing is, I already feel like a loser for switching around so much and wasting so much of my time/money, and I'm worried the people I care about will see me as some kind of a loser if I switch *again*. I know I shouldn't worry about what other people think, but it's easier said than done. How do I get over wanting my friends' and parents' approval?", "summary": "After switching majors a lot, I've finally found one that fits me. I'm worried my friends/family will disapprove if I switch again. How do I stop wanting their approval?"} {"id": "t3_3hdio8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16 M] have been texting back and forth with a girl I am interested in [16 F] throughout summer.", "post": "So I met her sometime towards the end of the school year, and a week before school ended, I got her snapchat. We have been texting a while, with sometimes long breaks due to her working hard on her summer school work and taking a vacation up to Texas to visit family. I'm rather shaky on what constitutes someone showing interest in you thanks to my many rejections, but I am pretty damn sure she's interested in me. \n\nShe has said that she hopes to go out some time, but she is a very busy person, and her parents are shaky on letting her go out with other guys. Her parents have told her that she cannot go out with me as of now because of school, which is starting in a week for both of us, but we are still able to text and possibly see each other at the bus stop. All of our texts have been nothing but casual conversations, jokes, compliments, and sweet comments that point to a possible relationship. \n\nThis is one thing I do not want to fuck up. It is without a doubt one of the best things that's happened recently, and my life has been quite rough. What should be my next step?", "summary": "Might finally have a chance to get a girlfriend after 16 years of trying and failing. What should be my next step?"} {"id": "t3_4vj1pn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [23F] and I just found out that my boyfriend [26m] uses dating websites and craigslist and has our whole [6years] relationship", "post": "I just got a new notification in my E-Mail that my E-Mail was no longer the recovery E-Mail for my boyfriend's E-Mail. I guess he had made that E-Mail through my G-Mail account and just updated it. When I clicked on the link inside, I basically ended up looking around because I've always had this small inkling that he was cheating on me after suddenly password protecting everything and using a password that I didn't know for most things and this was my opportunity to kill that voice in my head that was just me being paranoid (girlfriend logic right.)\n\nSo at first it just looks like a lot of Youtube and gaming spam, but occasionally he signed up for a new dating website. I can not tell you how hard my heart sank. I proceeded to try to log into some of those accounts to see if they were still active, and none of them were (the ones I could get into,) with no messages. Eventually I started to find craigslist replies that he made with girls looking for a boyfriend. More dating websites. Blocked girls on google hangouts. This spans the entirety of our relationship (6 years.) \n\nThere is no \"proof\" that he's cheated. But I feel like this is enough? If he has cheated, and it seems like he's really made a strong attempt, with how many girls?! We just renewed our lease (we live and work together.) What do I do?", "summary": "Found out my boyfriend has been trying to hookup with girls on craiglist and dating websites. I have no idea if he actually slept with any of them."} {"id": "t3_fp7is", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is a good programming language to learn?", "post": "As it currently stands, I have no means of affording class. Instead of just waiting until such a time that I can, I'm going to try doing things for myself in the meantime, taking piano lessons, reading jazz fake books, and one of the things I want to do is get back into programming. \n\nI was an IT Intern for an electrical contracting company for about 8 months before being laid off after they closed some major contracts. My initial job was to pick up the slack, but after about a couple months of being there, they didn't have much else for me to do aside from maintaining SIM card phone lists (the company was T-Mobile at the time) and maintaining the IT office. So they put me on software analysis. First Microsoft Infopath, then a few others, and eventually they had me try out SharePoint. They wanted to use it for the company, so they set up a mock server, and I messed around in that. Once I had a good handle on that, I made some applications using VB.NET to expedite some command line functions for importing templates and other miscellaneous tasks for SharePoint. I know a fair bit of VB.NET, a tiny bit of C#.NET, but haven't used either in a couple years now, so what should I look into (re)learning, and how can I go about learning/using it?", "summary": "What programming language would be most beneficial for me to learn or at least look into with a small prior background with programming?"} {"id": "t3_2gpu75", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf (18) and I (18) clash big time on one thing.", "post": "She goes out to clubs and that a lot with her friends. Obviously I don't mind but she does it a lot more than she sees me and every time she is with me she's organising another night out.\n I am a man who would rather stay in on nights and clubs are a strange situation for me because I've never really been someone to go to clubs. But she is and its been causing distances between us due to our clash of opinions. I love her to go out and enjoy herself and everything and I'm not a phyco or what not but we do clash and its really bothering me and I should add that it sometimes pushes me to the brink of depression again. That's how strongly I feel about it because it kills me that something causes conflicts between us. \nWe have been going out for nearly 2 years and we are literally so well matched. If I was pushed I'd probably say perfect. Except for this one thing. I'm wondering on what to do. I don't mind it so much that it would be a serious deal breaker right now but it is causing little issues between us. I don't even know if its jealously of her friends spending so much more time with her than me or anything.\nBTW I had slight depression about a year ago but she was the one who kept pulling me out of it. She means the world to me but this really is getting to me. \nJust need some advice from people who would like to help and maybe have been in similar situations. Thank you", "summary": "my gf and I match perfectly except on going out to clubs and getting drunk and that so much that I'm worrying that it is increasingly pushing me towards depression again"} {"id": "t3_1dg91q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Hoping my LD boyfriend [26M] will grow into being more affectionate towards me [18F], after six months, what can I do to get a little more attention?", "post": "My boyfriend is absolutely amazing at everything that he does. He's a wonderful person and I can confidently say he's my best friend. Roughly three months ago, he moved about 1k miles away (work related). We talk daily (even if it's brief, one of us manages to call) and I've visited once. Gradually (pre-move) he became less focused on me and more so on the move. I couldn't expect anything less. Lately, it seems like environmental factors have been influencing him more frequently (forgets to call me back, fewer intimate conversations, ect.). He's easily distracted, and generally a reserved person. What can I do to help him open up to me without being overbearing?", "summary": "I'm having a shitty day and I want my LD SO to be more comforting/want to be more involved in my life, without coming across as crazy."} {"id": "t3_2wsx3o", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by visiting my gay boss after work", "post": "this TIFU happened last night. I'm a 20 year old guy who started working at a restaurant a couple of months back, and it has been great. I like the people there, the chef (my boss) is a nice guy. A few weeks back he asked me if I wanted to come over after work sometime, and I was like sure, sounds alright. Seeing he's twice as old as me and he knows I'm straight I didn't think that he would make some type of move.. back to yesterday, work was done and at around 11 pm I was at his place. Just chatting a bit, how our vacation was, couple of beers later he asked if I'm seeing a girl at the moment. That should've been a sign for me but I wasn't thinking anything of it.\n\nSuddenly he sais ''I don't care if you want it or not but im just going to give you 3 kisses\", and he proceeds to give me 3 kisses on the cheeks. I was caught a little off guard by that but he didn't go further, I sort of ignored it. 10 minutes later he suddenly, it seemed like it was out of nowhere, puts his hand on the back of my head and starts to kiss me on the lips.. I was so fucking surprised it took a second to realize what was going on as I could feel that he tried to invade me with his tongue (0.o). I pushed him off (I can't believe how nice I was about it) and said: I'm sorry but that's enough. He was sitting there with this huge smile on his face, while the only thing I could think of was what the FUCK just happened...\n\nAfter that we had a few more beers, talked a bit more and he didn't do anything weird. Went home feeling pretty damn strange. Now I know my boss is into me and I find it pretty weird.", "summary": "went to my 40 year old gay boss's place after work and he kissed me, a 20 year old straight guy."} {"id": "t3_4ev1v9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25/m] have been single for 5 years. Now that I am finally completely over my high school sweetie, I don't know how to start dating again, now that I think I am ready. Help?", "post": "Some backstory: I fell crazy in love with a wonderful woman, we were friends for years before dating, the relationship lasted about a year, we remained friends for a little while but she cut the ties just last year. I don't know why, she just deleted me off every social network we shared and I let it be without question. \n\nI've been single for 5 years because I've spent the first couple years hoping for another chance which never came. I spent the last few years trying to provide my own closure and heal my proverbial wounds. \n\nNow I'm tired of being alone and lonely. I'm not butt ugly. Many people have declared their attraction to me many times, but I knew better than to lead someone on when I knew I was still repairing. \n\nI believe I am ready to find someone to fall in love with again, but the process that brought me to my previous love was a long, complicated, hurtful journey, which I'd rather not repeat. I've fought addiction, self harm, self discovery, depression and black out bipolar rages, and many other adventures.\n\n I'd prefer not to go through that dark process again, while I try accepting a new love. \n\nI've found (part of) myself, I love myself, and I am accepting of others. I am also really awkward, geeky, shy and overly Canadian. \n\nHow can I thrust myself back into the dating world and find someone who makes me feel as fantastic as I once did with my first love? Or maybe even better?", "summary": "Fell in love with an amazing person, lost that person, single 5 years since break up, now ready to date again but socially awkward and shy."} {"id": "t3_27jn8n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23f] messy friend/roommate [21f] won't get rid of her trash. What do I do?", "post": "I live with my best friend and she is the messiest person I've ever been around in my life. I didn't know it was this bad before we moved in (8 months ago), but now I know. I still love her despite her messiness, but obviously it's starting to trail into my life, which I dislike.\n\nFor the past 6 months she's been collecting beer and liquor bottles and cans in our household. Her boyfriend drinks like a fish and the 2 of them can easily put away 20 cans/bottles in a night, so on top of that happening every week, and parties .etc over 6 months, we have a shit ton of bottles in the house that have started to make their way into our shared living space, and I fucking can not stand it.\n\nI hate this, not only because it looks disgusting and like we're alcoholics (not even a quarter of those bottles/cans are mine), but it looks like we live in a trashy frat house. I'm serious, the bottles and cans are everywhere. She is keeping them because she wants to eventually bring them back to the store to get money back for the cans. I've asked her probably 5 times now to please get rid of them. I've asked nicely and she keeps saying she will, but weeks keep passing and she keeps collecting them.\n\nNow we're at the point where there's bags of cans in our living room, and bottles on the table tops, just making our house look like shit. I want to throw them all out and not care, but I don't want to cause a rift in our friendship over something so stupid and small.\n\nShe counted the bottles and cans the other day and she would likely get around $25 back for all the ones that we have in the house right now. Should I just throw them out when she's not home and give her the $25? I know how she is, and she will keep collecting them and keep making our living space look like shit, because it doesn't bother her. Messy is normal to her, so it doesn't affect her at all. This is ridiculous.", "summary": "My friend is collecting mass amounts of beer bottles and cans in order to get money back, it has been going on for months and she hasn't brought them back out of laziness. Our house now looks like shit."} {"id": "t3_27fgxw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Friend cheated on her husband.... Do I have an obligation to let him know?", "post": "This has been bugging me ever since I heard that a friend (29f) cheated on her husband (32M). However, everything that I've heard has been through another friend. The woman who cheated on her husband and I have known each other for about 5years so I'm not completely surprised by her actions. In the past, even when she and her now husband were dating, her guy friends would send her dick pics and that always struck me as being odd (she actually showed me the text on her phone). My friend and her husband also have a child together and a big reason to why they got married. This friend has confided in me multiple times that they been having problems in their sex life (he won't initiate/have sex with her) and that probably led to her cheating on him. \n\nThe thing that is grating is that I see pictures of the guy she cheated with hanging out with her, her husband and child almost every weekend. If I were in her husband's shoes, I would flip my shit having their kid around the other guy. BUT.... I don't have solid proof other than what was told to me so I feel iffy about saying something to him. And there's a child involved. Do I just keep my mouth shut or do I have an obligation to let him know?", "summary": "friend cheated on her husband but heard from another friend. Do I butt out and let it solve itself out or do I need to say something to the husband?"} {"id": "t3_37lts7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My best friend [f21] is marrying a jerk [m22]", "post": "Sorry this is gonna be kinda long, but I really need some advice. I'm (f21) and have know my friend for almost 10 years. My best friend is about to marry a jerk, and above being a jerk, this guy shows all the signs of being an abuser. They've been together for about 9 months, and within that time I've seen my BFF become a totally different person. She dropped out of school to \"support him\" even though all of his living expenses are being paid for. They fight all the time, and have to \"set goals\" to spend quality time together. He says condescending things to her CONSTANTLY and her answer is always \"well, we play rough sometimes\" no, taking food out of your hands so you don't \"get fat\" is not playing rough. I've talked to her about it multiple times, and it's like she's turned her brain off. They get married next week, and I feel so sick about it. It's not just me that sees it, her mom and other friends are all concerned.\n\n They are going be living down the street from us, and I don't want to watch her get walked all over and pretend I don't see it. I started writing her a letter to give her, which I know will end our friendship because she's made it clear that if you don't like her man, she'll cut you out. But is that the right thing? Have any of you had a similar thing happen? \n\nThere's so much more to the story, but I don't want to take up your whole day. Any thoughts would be appreciated!", "summary": "my best friend is marrying a jerk, I've never seen my friend more miserable but she's still insists on marrying him. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1is3hn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am [21M] am wondering what to do about contacting a [22 F] who regave me her number before going out of State for the remainder of this Summer", "post": "R/relationships a couple weeks ago a 22 year old college student from one of my Summer classes moved back to her homestate for the remainder of Summer who I talked to alot. We had great conversations and I asked her to get Coffee on the last day of classes in which see said yes and regave me her number during that time without me asking (my phone was stolen after the first time and then I got a new one). Unfortunately the Thursday before this past Thursday, I texted her asking her how her 4of July was around 10:30 in the morning and she never responded. Though this may sound optimistic I feel that she actually didn't even get my text because this happened one other time during the Summer session when I asked her a hw question. Do you think I should just let it go or attempt to contact her at a later time in the day and this or the upcoming week? Thanks.", "summary": "A girl regave me her number without asking but she failed to text me back after texting her around ten thirty two weeks ago."} {"id": "t3_2h04d4", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Short Frenulum question", "post": "18 year old virgin\n\nwhen I was 16 I did a little research on the internet and discovered that I had phimosis. I stretched regularly and after a month I could retract the foreskin over the head when flaccid/erect. I then stopped masturbating for ~8 months and when I tried to masturbate again I realised that the skin had grown tighter again. I've started stretching again and I can comfortably retract the foreskin over the head, BUT any further and the frenulum turns a little white (the blood drains out) and the frenulum feels a little bit stretched. I'm still making progress with frenulum stretches but it is pretty slow.\n\nMy question for this subreddit is: How far do I need to be able to retract the foreskin to safely have sex? After doing some cursory research it seems like it only needs to be able to pass over the glans. But wouldn't that only allow for ~ an inch of penetration?", "summary": "frenulum is tight. How far does my foreskin need to be able to retract in order to have sex without tearing something? During sex, how does the frenulum avoid being pulled back and snapping after it has fully extended?"} {"id": "t3_4cgno2", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "PSA: Buying a kid's bike isn't just about the wheel size.", "post": "I thought the wheel size was the only measurement that mattered.\n\nLearned the hard way that's not the case.\n\nNo one ever talks about \"crank arm length\" -- the length of the arms that the pedals are connected to. And the length is pretty damn important. They are generally measured in millimeters, and the 170mm crank arms that came on my kid's 20\" bike are as long as those on my adult bike. (Apparently this is a thing on BMX bikes, this bike wasn't clearly billed as such)\n\nThe result is that when his feet just about each the pedals at the lowest position, his knees are practically in his chest. As an inexperienced rider this throws him way off balance.\n\nTrying to find replacements, but these aren't parts generally designed to be replaced on cheap bikes. So now it's one of those situations where attempting to save money is probably going to cost more money.", "summary": "Don't buy your kid a bike they can't sit on first. Bite the bullet and go to a store or bike shop."} {"id": "t3_13t84b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I think I'm being manipulated by my boyfriend [both 19]", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to three years now. We are both 19 years old. I'm extremely happy and satisfied in my relationship but I am starting to feel as though the feeling isn't mutal. I almost want to stop writing now because I'm so afraid it might be true. This summer I went to another state to visit my family. While I was gone my boyfriends ex messaged me saying that he was texting her and told her that he loved her.\n\n I thought this was just manipulation, because shes been after him for the entire time we've been dating. Every time she tries my boyfriend let her down a little too easy and never really stood his ground. I told him what happened and all hell broke loose. I kept catching him in lies and each time he would lie and I told him what I knew, he said I was doubting him and didnt trust him, and that we shouldnt be together if I kept it up. He finally admitted that he told her he had feelings for her, but he didnt mean it. He said he only told her that because he felt bad for using her for sex and leading her on by making her feel like he was going to marry her. I dropped the situation. He finally stood up for me to her, told her to never speak to him again. I have never been happier.\n\n Each day I fall more in love with him, and plan to move out soon so we can get married. I cant help but to feel a distance between us though. He always is carring this huge guilt and has no self worth. It feels as though I never really satisfy him or make him happy the way he makes me. I feel this is because he couldn't have the girl he always wanted, and has settled for me instead. Recently he was telling me what I've done for him and included \"You helped me stand up for myself from her manipulation.\" (She was guilt tripping him about the sex quite often according to him at least.) And I cant help to ask myself if I'm the one who's being mannipulated, and if I should ever stand up for myself.\n\nI hope this all makes sense.", "summary": "I want to marry him and he has told me he wants to marry me too, but he may be still hung up over his ex."} {"id": "t3_52nwpx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my now ex-girlfriend [20 F] 3.5 yrs, just broke up and I'm not sure how to handle myself.", "post": "Some Backstory: Dating since junior year of high school, she moved away and we did long distance for a year. We go to the same University. Now she lives two floors beneath me.\n\nMy now ex-girlfriend and I had been dating for a solid 3.5 years when we somewhat mutually broke up. We had our troubles the last 6 months but I suppose it finally boiled over. She told me the weekend we moved back to school that she did not want to be in a relationship with me anymore. I asked what I can do to fix it and she said that the problem wasn't me. So we decided to take a no communication break for a few days but we ended at the same conclusion. I still love her very much and she says she loves me but the relationship was not working. \n\nSo here I am on the second day of being single for the first time since my junior year of high school. I have no clue how to handle myself. I don't want to feel sad. I don't want to get mad when she finds another guy. I'm very much the jealous type. I know I will see her around, quite often actually. I just need some advice as to how I approach a broken heart after a break up.\n \n\nThank you all in advance.", "summary": "3.5 years of dating, break up, but will still see her in my building and on campus. How do I deal with my first real break up? How do I deal with being single?"} {"id": "t3_3c2yu8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27] with my so [28] not sure if emotional incompatibility is a deal breaker? Your experiences please?", "post": "hi reddit, using a throwaway because obvious is obvious.\n\nMy SO and I have been together nearly 2 yrs, we live together, I Feel as if we can never see eye to eye on anything, given that we are so vastly different emotionally - like actual chalk & cheese.\n\nRelevant info - he has had a stable, loving and supportive upbringing with almost zero hardship, and I suspect he was coddled a lot as his mother still coddles him and doesn't treat him like an adult. He is sensitive, diplomatic, fair - which is why I love him, but he cannot express emotion and especially cannot express OR handle any negative displays of emotion. He shuts down, and feels nervous and scared when someone displays angst, anger, anxiety, etc.\n\nNow I am the exact opposite! Was in long term r/ships with 2 abusive partners (have since come to my senses) despite being a smart, strong willed person with in tact self esteem and the ability to stand up for myself. Also abusive father, alcoholic parents, previous drug abuse, overall shitty life, but I try in every way to make it better.\n\n I have always been overly anxious, and I have a past history of PTSD and an overactive fight or flight mechanism, I am loud and make sure I am heard, I show happiness with the same force that I show anger, sadness, glee, everything. My partner I am discovering, cannot handle this. He has told me he no longer talks to me as he is scared of my reactions. He is scared of me being upset or angry. I feel like his most common catch phrase is \"calm down\" as he seems to think I am constantly anxious or angry or stressed when I feel normal. I feel like I am the one that needs fixing here, but he openly says anger is not normal - whereas I believe it is just as normal as happiness! Am I crazy?!? I am sooo sensitive towards him, but I don't want to be. I want to be with someone who isn't afraid to scream or cuss or cry when things don't go their way, and throw a fuckin party and tell everyone everything, when something amazing happens. \nAnyway...", "summary": "Partner thinks my emotions are too much/scary/make him nervous, I think I am normal (to a degree!) but am starting to think maybe I am actually unhealthy and emotionally unstable? Can we make it work?"} {"id": "t3_4d6unb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (M/24) am strangely stressed out by this girl (24) I started talking to again.", "post": "I don't know what it is. We started talking again just 3 days ago. We dated for about a month January of 2015 and have just reconnected again. \n\nThe reason as to why we broke up was because I thought that we wouldn't work sexually because she didn't like foreplay. I find that to be trivial today and feel like I was very closed minded and selfish. \n\nBut ever since we've started talking again we've hit it off without a hitch. We're already kissing and holding hands. I stayed the night with her last night and slept in her bed, but haven't had sex. Before we were going to bed I did get really stressed out because I didn't want the sex to be a problem again. I also gained 50 lbs. As well so I was a little self conscious. \n\nThe only thing I can chalk this up to is that our connection is just really intense and I'm just overwhelmed. I've been single for about 8 months now after an emotionally abusive relationship. Just wanted to throw that out there. She has been single pretty much since we dated too. \n\nI also feel like she is out of my league and that could be just my weight talking so. \n\nAny help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks", "summary": "Just started talking to this girl I dated last year and I'm really stressed out when I'm around or think of her. Could just be an intense connection."} {"id": "t3_1395s3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] cheated on my long distance girlfriend [21F] while drunk. Need advice...", "post": "I've been dating her for a little over 3 months but we were really close friends for several years. There was tension between us through that time but we finally started dating this summer.\n\nWe started the relationship in the same city but go to separate colleges so it's been long distance for the majority of our relationship. Normally I would never ever consider cheating, but last night I was on a barcrawl with several people in my major and at the last bar (when I was the most drunk) I somehow ended up making out with a random girl. I don't remember how it happened, who approached who or what. That's all that happened though, and I went home.\n\nI do remember feeling really bad and kept telling people \"I didn't mean to I didn't mean to\", and when I got home I told me roommate about it. The thing is... I also buttdialed my girlfriend during part of the conversation.\n\nI'm not sure if she heard anything but she hasn't talked about it. Although she hasn't talked to me really today except one text message, and this week we haven't talked much because she's been busy.\n\nI don't know what to do. Like I said I really really care about her... I don't have much experience in relationships so I don't want to come out and say I 'love' her yet but I can't imagine being with anyone else but her.\n\nSo if she didn't hear anything and doesn't know what happened, should I just keep it a secret? Should I wait some time before telling her? Or should I come clean now? She has trust issues with men in general anyway so I'm afraid telling her this would destroy everything (although I probably destroyed it anyway last night...)\n\nAnd if she did hear something what should I do?\n\nThis has been bothering me a lot today so I would be very grateful for some advice...", "summary": "Cheated on long distance girlfriend while very drunk last night, she may or may not have heard about it when I accidentally butt-dialed her. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2pf3lb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] her [21 F]. Help me figure out the grey area before being exclusive", "post": "I'm curious about how y'all treat the time before being exclusive with someone. I met someone about two weeks ago. Had a very fun first date that ended with making-out, cuddling at a park and a snuggl'd walk home. Two days later we have sex (it's awesome) and we've hung out a handful or so of times since then all including her staying over, having sex, cuddling, being kissy, affectionate and fun. \n\nHowever, even though she intiatates texting with me, she has yet to ask me to hang out with her. I've done all of the asking which is starting to annoy me, but also making wonder where we are at.\n\nI have an old FWB that I have ridiculously awesome sexual chemistry with that has been hitting me up. I want to explore this some more, but I don't want to hurt my new friend's feelings or ruin the potential between us.\n\nIs it best to avoid the old FWB? Should I ask my new friend where we stand?\n\nI feel like it is too soon to have that conversation and I would only be implying that I want to see other people.\n\nWhat would you do? How do you feel about the period before being exclusive?", "summary": "Met a really awesome girl but I don't know if she wants to be exclusive. Old FWB is hitting me up and I want to see both if it isn't going to jeopardize the chances with my new friend."} {"id": "t3_2z38we", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend? [26 M] has been giving me mixed signals about the status of our relationship [27/F].", "post": "Me and my boyfriend of about 2.5 years broke up around Thanksgiving last year. It all started because we had always talked about taking the next logical step and moving in together, I was ready and waiting for him to be \"ready\" and want it together. Then one morning he said to me that he wanted to move out on his own, but not with me. He couldn't give me any real reason, except that he was \"too young\" to settle down. He broke it off and we stopped seeing each other. I started dating other people, but he still always tried to contact me. Over the past month or two since he moved we started talking again. I've always loved him and wanted a life together, if I had to wait for him to be ready, then I was willing to sacrifice what I wanted at this point for him to be happy too.\n\nWe never officially \"got back together\". He never asked me to, and any time I brought it up he brushed me off. I didn't want to sound petty, asking why we aren't friends/adding each other on Facebook/instagram, and putting a label on it. I did find out however that he was lying to his friends about still seeing me.\n\nI'm just ready to move on at this point. I've never felt so used. Am I being unreasonable? I'm trying to be understanding and so badly wanted us to work, but he just doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself.", "summary": "I don't even know where my \"relationship\" stands at this point. Do I cut him off and move on?"} {"id": "t3_1sq8qi", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Stupid and Clumsy", "post": "I'm stupid and clumsy which almost makes me worthless as a human being. A few months ago, I was breaking up a slushie with a knife, because I'm stupid, and it slipped into my finger cutting my flexor tendon.. I'm still waiting on surgery for that. Then, last night I tripped and stepped onto a Christmas present I bought for my best friend, breaking one of the stir sticks. I went in the garage to try to find some glue to glue it back together. I picked up a can of spray paint, and took the top off with great difficulty and the little sprayer thing popped off. I don't even know why I did it, I guess I was just curious. I picked up the sprayer thing to put it back on and then the whole can exploded. It exploded all over my hands, the garage floor, the inside of the garage door, and the back end of my mom's car. I immediately ran inside and tried to wash some of it off my hands and then ran back out side with bleach and threw it on the garage floor, only on the garage floor not my mom's car. It got some of it up, but not all. I then saw that there was paint on my mom's car and mixed car wash solution and got some sponges to take off the paint. It took me about 3 hours, and I did tell her what happened and she knew I was trying to clean it up and it was an accident. (She was frustrated, but didn't yell.) Well, this morning she texted me that I took the finish off of her car by scrubbing it and it's on the garage door. She's still not yelling which almost makes it worse. I just feel like a useless human being. I do stuff like this all the time. I'm about ready to stop existing and causing so much grief.", "summary": "I accidentally exploded a can a spray paint on my my mom's car and garage and then took the finish off my mom's car trying to clean it up."} {"id": "t3_2i20cr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with someone I've been getting romantically close to [15 F], I don't know whether to start a relationship or not...", "post": "Well, I think both of us are emotionally unstable and immature. I've never been in a relationship and she's been in a couple. She told me she wants to make my first relationship \"so real.\"\nI don't know what to do, because I know if I date her then I might get really depressed if things go wrong (I can get depressed now over really petty things that happen between us, as can she)\nI guess what I want to know is should I go through with this? Is it worth the potential pain it can bring or should I just leave it alone and get on with my life? Again, we both really like each other, it's just im not sure the both of us (espicially me) are ready.", "summary": "Me and this girl really like each other, but we both get depressed about petty shit between us really easily. Should we date and take a risk and suffer through the pain it may bring us?"} {"id": "t3_3r06it", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should I drop? (Fraternity)", "post": "Hey so just some background info, I have social anxiety and act very differently when I'm around new people, and people I'm close with. I started pledging cause I wanted to stop having this issue and meat some new people. \n\nHowever, I'm not even close with my line brothers and I'm starting to think that this process isn't even worth it. The only rea son I'm staying is for some hope of fixing my social issues. The past 2 years I've been having social anxiety issues and that's something I really want to change about myself In addition, school work is stacking up.", "summary": "Hoping to rid myself of social anxiety by joining a frat. Not working, I'm not even close with the people I'm pledging with."} {"id": "t3_wzika", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Guys.. I'm slowly dieing here. Need advice. 21/M 20/F", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for about 2 months, yet we have known each other for months before that. We live in the same city now but in the next couple weeks I will have to go out of town for work (~7 hours away).\n\nHere is the dilemma: The long distance is not an issue, but the real issue is that we both know that our relationship will not work out in the long run due to family compatibility issues (culture, etc). Family is very important for the both of us, so we understand that in the long run if our families aren't happy then things will be very difficult in the future.\n\nSo right now we are in a depressing gut wrenching stage where we both know I am leaving in a couple weeks, and we aren't sure what is happening after that between us. And the closer and closer this date gets the more we naturally tightly hold on to each other. It's seriously depressing. We both are kind of aware that it has to come, we would love to remain friends but obviously it's really hard to remain friends in a situation like this.\n\nFor me, I know I can deal with things over time, but what kills me is I know she'll be devastated by this. It really tears at you seeing an extremely gentle caring person potentially get hurt. Especially when she's so understanding and willing to take the hit. We have both told each other we'd just enjoy each others company and after I leave for work we'd figure it out. However obviously its still very hard. Part of me wants to say fuck the parents, lets do this. But realistically its not that easy :(\n\nAny advice in this situation? Is there something I can say/we can both do to make this easier? Anyone had any experience with a situation like this? This thing has honestly been eating away at me. Thanks in advance.", "summary": "2 months in, I have to leave for work, we both know it wont work out due to family. The closer it gets, the harder we hold on. Tears everywhere man."} {"id": "t3_46b8uk", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by teaching my S.O. to snowboard", "post": "This actually happened on monday but this is first day back on reddit. My roommates wanted to go snowboarding and my gf was off for Presidents Day(Silly US holiday) so we all went to our local mtns. One of my roommates and my gf had never snowboarded before so I knew we were in for a interesting day. We started on the kiddie slope it was super easy but took forever. My roommate(who knew how to board) got plowed on the first run so I could tell there were a ton of idiots out. Last run of the day we decide to go to the top and try a Medium run its really easy but just longer and we wanted a picture from up there. My S/O was getting tired and lazy and kept falling, she was getting to that give up stage all guys hate lol. She fell at a bad spot that was down a hill and before a sharp turn. I said \"Babe you have got to get up we are going to get hit here if we dont move.\"She gets up and goes about 5ft and falls again. This time I sit about 5-10 away from her and try and coach her back up. Once again I say \"We really have to move or we are going to get hit\" She complains a bit then out of the corner of my eye I see a college kid comming and he has no control. He dodged my gf and that put him right on track for me. I bracked for impact and his board went right into my arm. Soon as I felt the pain I knew it was bad. Within seconds my S/O had taken her board off and was asking if I was okay and finally I got up on my board and got out of the death zone that was that spot. Ski patrol wanted to take me down on a strecher but I went super Alpha mode and boarded down the Mtn. My gf now feels awful and walked down the whole mtn. I went to the hospital and I cracked both bones in my right arm. Joy. \n \n###", "summary": "GF got tired and lazy snowboard, fell in bad spot. I tried to coach her to move so she doesnt get hit. I get hit and break my arm."} {"id": "t3_1cskpg", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[22/m] I cheated on my [21/f] girlfriend of two years", "post": "This is my first time posting here, and I wouldn't be doing this unless I was desperate. I went to a party a couple of nights ago and cheated on my girlfriend, whom I loved and still love very much. I told her, in person, the following day, what I did. She cried, and it was heartbreaking to watch, but I sat there and consoled her. I didn't try and make excuses for myself, I just told her what happened. We've decided to stay together, and she said that she still loves me. She obviously hasn't forgiven me yet, and I don't expect her to. This is where I need some assistance; I hate myself. I can't stop hating myself. I've started crying out of nowhere. I tried to cut myself with my watch immediately after I cheated. I'm starting to think that I need to break up with her, because I don't deserve her whatsoever, even though we both love each other. What should I do?", "summary": "Cheated on my loving girlfriend, got back together, and I'm considering ending it because I don't deserve her."} {"id": "t3_1jhtc8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Redditors who have picked up and moved across the country, what advice do you have for someone who wants to do the same?", "post": "I am 22 and live in Michigan, and I am giving myself a year to save up and move to California. I took a road trip there when I was younger and loved the Pacific Coast Highway and Yosemite, and I need a change of scenery, so why not? I just don't know how to get started besides planning a route and calculating the cost of gas.\nThe rough plan right now is for me to sell my car and motorcycle next summer, buy a truck, sell all my furniture/non-essentials, pack up whats left, and head west after Labor Day. I have relatives I can stay with in Kansas and Colorado, and I will probably spend a week or two staying at my grandparents farm in Kansas since I don't see them very often. My roomate wants to join too, and he's never been to the west coast. Once I get there I want to get a job in Yosemite during the spring, but that isn't set in stone, and I'd need a job over the winter (maybe working at a resort in Lake Tahoe?) And I have an 8 year old husky, which should make finding a place to stay interesting.\nHow do I start the planning, or do I just have a few thousand dollars saved up and wing it?", "summary": "Saving money for a year, selling everything, buying a truck, and move to California with my dog and roomate. What should I know/consider/plan for?"} {"id": "t3_38logd", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by locking myself out of my room.", "post": "It all started with a cultural tour. Being active duty military and stationed overseas in Japan we were voluntold to partake in a tour of the local area. Fun and dandy right? \n\nI was ecstatic about the free tour of the local area. Except when I woke up five minutes before the tour starts. Luckily the meeting area was a Starbucks just outside of my room.\n\nQue the rushing, the frantic panic to dress up, and get down in time. I left my ID which is also conveniently my room key. Two more mistakes. (Straying away from the story, the military is all about being on time and integrity. Hence \"excellence in all we do\".) \n\nRealizing I fucked up bad, I told the host that I had left my REQUIRED ID in my room, which is my room key locking myself out. \n\nI couldn't go on the tour and now I'm stuck in the Starbucks waiting until one of my supervisors picks me up and lets me into my room. I'm expecting more than just a little scolding, paperwork even.", "summary": "Locked myself out of my room, and left ID inside room. Stuck at a Starbucks and waiting for supervisor to pick me up and receive paperwork."} {"id": "t3_3fjy0b", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Riding the tech wave, getting overpaid by any sensible metric. What is the best way (financially) to leverage my current situation?", "post": "Hey PF, a little background. I'm a recent grad in CS (undergraduate) and work for a large well-known tech company. Here's my approximate pay breakdown for 2015:\n\n * Base: $130,000\n * Bonus (cash & stock combined): 60,000\n * Total: ~$190,000\n\nI've heard a lot about how the tech industry is in a major bubble that can burst any moment, so I'd like to figure out how to use my current situation to make the best next career move financially and make sure I'm still on an upward trajectory even if/when the bubble bursts. Options:\n\n * Work hard for as many promotions as possible at current job until the bubble bursts\n * Diagonal move within the tech industry to try to get as many promotions as possible until the bubble bursts (might get promoted faster, but probably wouldn't be as laid back as current situion)\n * Switch industries as soon as soon as I get my next promotion, and leverage current high pay to negotiate a senior position even though I don't have senior-position-level experience.\n\nAnyone have experience from a previous bubble who can weigh in? Obviously there's more to work & life besides your salary, but I'll save those questions for another subreddit :)", "summary": "Tech industry is paying way more than seems reasonable right now - how can I make sure my salary keeps going up over the medium/long run even if/when the bubble bursts?"} {"id": "t3_1dcqt2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22m] and having trouble dealing with a [20f] emotionally distant girlfriend of 3 months.", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nI'm posting here because I'm really at a loss on how to deal with this issue. I've been seeing this girl for 3 months now, and for the first little while I had a very hard time reading her and seeing how much she was into me. As a result I felt very insecure in the relationship for the first month or so. As things progressed, she began to show more signs of wanting me / liking me but was still acting very distant most of the time. For example, I have to initiate EVERYTHING (setting up dates, texting/facebook conversations, touching / sexual advances, etc.). It is a little strange though, as once I've initiated contact everything is very great and she always seems to enjoy my company.\n\nI really like this girl, and enjoy imagining a future with her, but I see some red flags that I find really difficult to interpret:\n\n* she has never once given me a compliment\n* I have done very many nice romantic gestures for her, but she has never ever reciprocated these\n* whenever I try to talk to her about her being distant, she instantly tries to change the subject\n* If I don't contact her for long periods of time, she doesn't seem bothered by it at all\n\nShe once explained to me that she is very emotionally reserved / guarded due to growing up with an 8 years older sister who used to make her life a living hell. I have seen signs of her opening up to me, but I am concerned that she will never truly \"let me in\". I don't know if Ill be able to continue the relationship much longer if this is the case.\n\nI want to talk to her about all this, but I'm really worried I will come across as overly attached / needy and that I can't let her be herself. I want her to be herself, but I also want to feel loved and appreciated in this relationship. What bothers me is that I've talked to a close friend of hers who says that she talks about me all the time and is really into me, but she never tells me anything like that!", "summary": "GF is very distant, and I feel very under appreciated. Will she \"let me in\" as we get to know each other better, or should I end it now?"} {"id": "t3_2pt88o", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trusting my housekeeper", "post": "Ok so maybe this is more of a Today My Housekeeper Fucked Up, but here's the story. I pay $150 every two weeks for a housekeeper. It's expensive but I work a lot and it's worth the money. As a Christmas bonus I set out $300 cash to give to her. I took out an extra $100 for myself and stuck it in my money jar (a secret jar in my room.) I laid the money for my housekeeper on my dresser and went about my day. I just went to give her the cash and for some reason I counted it before I gave it to her. It was short $80. I looked everywhere for the extra money. I figured it fell on the floor, I accidentally put it in my wallet, etc. I handed the money to my housekeeper and told her Merry Christmas and I still owed her $80. I told her I couldn't find $80 from the cash. She looked at me, and her eyes started watering and she told me \"I have the $80. I needed to buy presents for my kids, I'm sorry, I am so sorry.\" I told her it was ok, and I went to my cash jar to take out the extra $100 to give to her. I planned on never having her back but I guess my heart hurts for people who have to resort to stealing. I opened my jar, and lo and behold, all the money was missing. I asked her if she took it, she said yes, tried to give me all the cash back and I said, \"keep it, but please don't come back.\" Sucks. She was a great housekeeper. Except for the stealing all my cash part.", "summary": "My housekeeper didn't realize the cash I had out was for her, and she stole it. Tried to give her more money as a severance package, turns out she stole that as well."} {"id": "t3_2dz01q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my unofficial girlfriend [18 F] one month, she only calls to argue.", "post": "Quick backstory, met a girl, got close extremely fast, within a month we knew as much as you could know about each other in that time span. During the course of or relationship I got the vibe of her questioning what we were. She was very adamant that she didn't understand why we only hung out in the night, as in 10 o'clock or later. I'm always very busy, so I don't get a chance to see her in the day. When we were together, we were very happy, it was the most intimate experiences of my life thus far. All of a sudden her jealousy gets the best of her and we end things on bad terms. She ended it. Unwarranted jealousy, because I wasn't seeing anybody else but her. In fact, she was jealous over her gay best friend, whom I hung out with on two occasions. \n\nIt's been about 3 weeks since we ended things, and she apparently has a new man in her life with whom she feels the need to flaunt everywhere. The thing is, she still calls me. Sometimes multiple missed calls, sometimes one missed call. I never contact her. When I do answer, she acts innocent at first, then begins to argue and lash out on me. I never show anger towards her when she does this, I simply keep calm. The way things were going, it wouldn't have been crazy to say we were on the way to falling in love. And I've never been in love.\n\nThe question I have is, what's her angle in doing all of this? We've been separated for almost as long as we were together. Yet she still feels the need to lash out, not even including the fact that she's \"so happy\" with her new man. I find it odd that if she's so happy and over me, then why is she still contacting me. I just want to hear other peoples' opinions. Thanks.", "summary": "Get extremely close to a girl, see each other for a month, break things off, 3 weeks have passed and she still calls me to argue. Despite having a new man and being \"happy\"."} {"id": "t3_2avthy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23F] jealousy is ruining my relationship with my SO [27 M]... or do I actually have a reason to be concerned?", "post": "My SO and I have been together almost a year. Right before we met, he had a very bad breakup with his ex. They dated and lived together for 2 years and she cheated on him multiple times. She was very manipulative, and he's actually teared up when talking about their relationship because of how much it hurt him. He basically had to uproot from the city they both lived in and move to another state because he couldn't be that close to her anymore. \n\nFast forward to now, a year later. He and his ex have reconciled their differences and talk frequently. I have never considered myself to be a jealous person, but there's something about her that makes me sick. When I see he's been on the phone with her, I just get so unbelievably upset. He tells me time and time again that it's over between them, but I just can't figure out how he could have forgiven her this fast for everything. They text frequently, g chat at work, and talk on the phone at least once a week. I've met her once, and he had to ask her permission if it was okay to bring me to a party that she would be attending.\n\nI really don't want to be a jealous and controlling girlfriend.... but I can't help but feel there's something going on that I don't know about? He always seems so excited to talk to her. He praises how funny she is and how she just totally gets him. Whenever he has a big issue, he talks to her and not me.\n\nEvery time I've mentioned this to him, he gets defensive and mentions how he just needs someone to talk to every once in a while. I talk to my roommates when I'm having a relationship problem, so why can't he talk to his friends?\n\nI feel totally stuck.", "summary": "My SO still talks frequently to his exGF, who cheated on him multiple times. Am I being crazy that this upsets me?"} {"id": "t3_2yimm0", "subreddit": "self", "title": "trouble at work..frustrations", "post": "So I just started a new job about a month ago. Almost as soon as I started working, problems arise. In part because of my punctuality but also misunderstandings and lack of training. \nI am supposed to be at work at 9am. But for the first two weeks, I've been making it between 2-14 minutes past 9. I then get an email from my supervisor telling me I need to be on time and also how I was not clocking out when I went to class (they are letting me take one hour to go to school). I freaked out and told them that I just switched my lab at school and that I'd be on time from now on. They said I was supposed to mark it on my calendar so I knew where I was. This was something I had no idea about and apologized for it. Anyway, week three I started being on time. on Week 4 I started going back to being 2-8 minutes late. Also, one thing I had been doing was to 'vent' with my cooworkers about how I felt so stressed about working full time and attending part time classes. I also mentioned that I felt like I was being micro managed. Guess what? This came back to bite me in the ass today where my supervisor basically told me I needed to stop this 'disrupting' behavior. I explained myself that I did feel like I was being micro managed. I also mentioned that besides these issues, the person I assist at work is very happy with my job performance. \nANyway, sorry to vent, I just feel like I can't trust anyone at work and I don't have a support system there. Everyone at work has been nice to me. but now, I don't really trust people there since someone told on me. From now on, my plan is to keep to myself and be like 30 minutes early. Am I overreacting? Anyone has experienced something similar to this? I just feel like I walk on eggshells at work and I that I don't fit in. Thanks for reading..", "summary": "getting in trouble at work for my attendance and miscommunications. I feel like I don't fit in at work and feel overwhelmed about it.."} {"id": "t3_4h82cx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24F] am having a difficult time dealing with my raging emotions, trying so hard not to let it out on my boyfriend [27M], looking for advice, subreddits, anything really.", "post": "I have always had issues with my emotions. While a lot of people treated me completely unfairly for it in the past I still knew there were things I needed to work on. After a big bump in the road in my now 3 year relationship with my boyfriend about a year ago, I have sought help and have been diagnosed with Bipolar 2. I am now on lamictal, which is a mood stabilizer that helps a LOT, but not always.\n\nI just have moments where I snap and suddenly am very angry. It is short lived most times and I'm generally aware I am being stupid but I am sometimes not able to pull myself out of it before I say something stupid. My boyfriend is incredibly understanding and doesn't take things personally. He also understands when I have moments where I get very upset to the point of crying over trivial shit.\n\nI love him but I just hate when I snap on occasion and say something mean. I'm also having trouble with anxiety. It's almost 2 AM and I can't bring myself to lay down because I feel anxious about it for no good reason. \n\nI'm anxious, at times incredibly hyperactive and needy, snippy at times, and overly emotional at little things occasionally. I am making myself sound like the worst right now, but I want to emphasize that I'm totally aware of these flaws and am able to apologize now (something I wasn't good at before) and for the most part I am not like this all the time.\n\nI HAVE gotten so much better. I am a much better and more self aware person and am happier 90% of the time. At this point, though, I feel kind of stuck. I've fixed the major major issues I've had but I feel like I can't get over these things.\n\nSo... looking for advice? I don't know of any good subreddits for advice for this sort of thing besides here. So literally any help would be appreciated.", "summary": "I'm a bipolar mess trying really hard to work on my issues so I don't hurt my boyfriend. I'm looking for advice on how to continue getting better."} {"id": "t3_27wopb", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [23/m] am worried that I annoyed my friend [23/f] to the point that she is ignoring me.", "post": "I may just being a silly insecure paranoid twat I am but I am worried about my relationship with my friend.\n\nWe text each other a lot and I have pretty bad thoughts and depression a lot and she always said she would lend an ear for it but lately I get very little replies from her. \n\nI worry that on the last night out (3 weeks ago) me, her and a few other friends had I may have said something really silly to her like \"I like you\" and maybe she is now distancing herself from me. I don't remember saying anything like that nor was I particularly drunk that night so I don't think thats the case but I am a huge fucking worrier with absolutely everything.\n\nI am also aware that a lot of stuff is happening in her life at the moment as well. Busy job, serious relationship that sort of thing so I try to tell myself she's just busy but she seems to have time for others from what I see on Facebook and stuff. I've been pretty isolated from her and my friends since I had to move back home and I rarely get to see anyone and its all rather depressing that I miss so much.\n\nSo should I really worry? I sent her a text simply asking \"How're you doing?\" in hopes she might answer something thats not just about me spewing my insecurities at her but I don't know what to do beyond that.", "summary": "Friend and I used to text alot and with regularity and now it feels like she is ignoring me and fed up with me."} {"id": "t3_zpf9k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What did I [27 M] do wrong to screw this up with her [22 F].", "post": "So, my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2.5 years. I know this will throw /r/relationships into conniption fits, but we moved in together probably a week after we started dating - we moved into my parent's house. We lived there for like 9 months and then she declared that she didn't feel comfortable over there and wanted to be with her dog at her parent's house...so we moved over there. Things were going great for a long time... I mean, we had our issues like any couple, but I thought we were working through them in a healthy manner. \n\nSo yesterday, when she gets home from work, we talk and she says that she doesn't feel like she 'owns her own bedroom' anymore. She tends to stay up late and likes top fall asleep with the TV on and hates the fan on. I go to bed by 10 at the latest because i wake up at 4am for work and i like the fan on because her room is hot and i can't sleep when I'm warm. Also, i sleep on the side of three bed where her containers with all her hair stuff are and she fells like she can't get to her stuff.\n\nIdk. I'm just confused as hell. She has been dealing with being the maid of honor at her best friend's wedding last Saturday and probably spent 20 total hours at home last week. She also said that she feels like the newness is gone from our relationship - to which i responded, 'what do you think married life is like?'\n\nWe're not on a 'break' or anything like that, just 'I'm not living there anymore.'\n\nI don't know why i wrote this, maybe i want some advice or insight, or just another opinion on the situation.", "summary": "she asked me to move out, said i was in the way, also said that the spark is gone, don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_10ipld", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (25M) met someone (21F) a month ago, we hit it off great and just hit a roadblock out of nowhere. Help?", "post": "So I met this girl a month ago from an online dating site. Right from the first date we hit it off great. Things escalated at a normal speed throughout the next few weeks, we were constantly txting back and forth, etc, and all seemed well. This past week she had offered to come over to my place to make me dinner and we agreed to friday. Fast forward to friday afternoon and she suddenly seems to have flipped a switch and is all the sudden feeling undecisive about continuing to see eachother. Says her mind isnt clear. She says \"I really like you so much, but right now im so confused, gone through a lot of shit this past year, unsure if i can be anyone's gf or have a relationship at this time. But I really like you!\"\n\nWe don't get together friday night, I go see her saturday to talk and she just reiterates what she said and explains how she feels. Also explains how if we continued on things would continue to escalate and shes worried she will become too involved/tied down and miss out on her 20s. She says its up to me to either move on or we can stay friends until her mind clears... Again she reiterates that she does really like me. Also makes it clear its nothing I did and its not another dude.\n\nSince seeing her saturday I decided it was best to give her some space and havent initiated any contact with her since. She hasnt contacted me either.\n\nSO, basically im wondering how to approach this now because I do really like her as well and want to atleast fail trying instead of throwing it away. Im just worried about her losing interest or me getting demoted to friendzone. Also as much as I want to believe she was being truthful, I dont know if this is just a cop out to get out, if there is in fact another dude, if shes just having a freakout since we met online and prior to meeting we didnt know eachother IRL (this is her first time meeting someone online), etc... WHAT DO I DO?", "summary": "met girl online dating things going great for a month, she has sudden freakout in her mind about continuing on. How do I approach this now?"} {"id": "t3_1mf9se", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29m] had a great first date with a wonderful girl [28f]. Problem is, she's my ex's roommate.", "post": "My ex and myself are very good friends (strictly platonic). We dated for two years, nearly a decade ago, so much time has passed. We were good friends before we dated, and are even better friends afterwards. From what I can tell, there's no intentions or signals from either of us get to get back together.\n\nWe had one rough point - and this is kind of important to note...very shortly after breaking up with me, she started dating my best friend. And my entire circle of friends knew about it, but they were given explicit instructions to keep me in the dark. That circle of deception, targeted to one person...me...was something I was very angry about. We eventually patched this up, but it took several years and a long tearful cab ride together to sort things out.\n\nAnyway, back to present day - I met her roommate a few weeks ago when my ex invited me over to a BBQ, and the roommate and I had a great date tonight. If things keep progressing well, I would like to tell my ex, considering how badly I got burned beforehand in a somewhat similar situation; I feel like it's only right for her to be among the first to know. My ex and I are pretty much best friends at this point in time, but I would feel very weirded out if I ever saw her over to hang out (much less sleep with) my roommate privately in his room. I'm sure she'd feel the same way if I were there just to hang out with her roommate and not her.\n\nSo...I know the general advice is to dump the ex and never see her again, but to those rare few that are on good terms with their ex's...any advice on how I should proceed?", "summary": "My ex and I are on good terms, but is there any way I can go out with her roommate without making things weird?"} {"id": "t3_v0lub", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, advice on \"breaking the ice\"?", "post": "My parents and I went to this local restaurant after my graduation and the cute waitress that served us kept on looking and smiling at me. It was so obvious that even my parents noticed it too. \n\nI would like to ask her on a date to get to know her but the problem is that this restaurant she works in is a proper family type restaurant. The way I see it, I can't really show up again with my parents to try to talk to her, I can't really show up with friends because it isn't the sort of place 4 college freshmen would find themselves in and I can't really go alone because..well, is it just me or is that a bit strange? \n\nPlease some simple advice on what I can do?", "summary": "quick advice on how to ask a cute waitress at a very legit looking restaurant (can't really show up on my own)."} {"id": "t3_3p1ski", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not understanding Nanny Tax Law", "post": "TIFU, I thought nannies were 1099 employees. We just had our first baby and it was the first nanny I ever hired. Today is her last day (she is moving) and we were making sure we had everything when we realized they are paid as regular employees.. as in W-2 as in.. we should have been witholding taxes and social security and all that stuff the whole time (7 months)\n\nThis is a disaster, my wife calls me crying telling me that I have to take her last check from her to pay her social security taxes since we should have been taking them out each paycheck. We are not by any means rich. \n\nThis means when i get home in 3 hours I have to be a horrible person and not pay her and instead pay the social security that should have been deducted from her pay check every payday. This will suck leaving her last check pretty much $0. What a sendoff. I feel like such a jerk and it was entirely unintentional due to us reading something early on and misunderstanding it.", "summary": "Should have paid nannies taxes from each paycheck, didn't now she owes $500 to the state that I have to take from her last check."} {"id": "t3_1ycss5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my wife [24 F] of 7 years. Wife is looking to be done for good, I'm trying to fight.", "post": "We have been together for 7 years and have 2 small children (2 and 3). \n\nWe have both had issues with impulse control and stepping out of the relationship or causing distance when stress gets high, but we are the best of friends and partners when things are going well.\n\nIt feels like our biggest issue is communication, we never speak about the tension until the bomb is already going off.\n\nThere is no history of abuse or drugs. There was a social drinking problem on my end for the first few years of the relationship which caused me to be much more distant than I would like.\n\nI've been struggling with being the person I want to be for me, her, and my family since the start, but I've often failed. Relatively recently I have been succeeding in showing her how much I care and who I want to be. She seemed to appreciate these changes.\n\nWe have had several breaks over the course of our relationship where she gets space then eventually comes back, but we have never really \"started over\"\n\nWe are currently having one of these breaks, but this time it looks like it may end in divorce. I'm struggling to keep it all together for us and the kids.\n\nI don't know what to do. She doesn't want to discuss, talk about, or go to counseling. \n\nMy current game plan is to give her space, be nice and present as much as possible, and hope for the best.", "summary": "I'm trying not to let the woman I love slip away and destroy our family in the process. I don't know what to do other than give her space."} {"id": "t3_2b5f3a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] asked a girl I met at work [22 F], I met her about a month go, out to get a drink and she agreed but stopped responding?", "post": "I asked out this girl I met at work about a month ago to go to drinks with me and she smiled and said yes. I told her I would get back to her with a time. I didn't outright set a time though, I just kinda talked about random stuff with her the first time we messaged.\n\n Each message she sent me was pretty long and full of smiley faces. I asked her If she was available on Wednesday and she said maybe but she needed to get her new schedule from her new job. \n\nShe got back to me to tell me that she couldn't Wednesday and she would get back to me with a better time. its been like four days now and haven't heard from her. should I message her again and what should I say?", "summary": "Girl said she would text me with a better time to go out for drinks but haven't heard from her. She seemed really interested though!"} {"id": "t3_37pm48", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Not even sure if this is the right place for this... but I think I might be confused about my sexuality? [24F]", "post": "I was raised Catholic, and even though I'm not religious anymore, I definitely still deal with the Catholic guilt. I also think I have body dysmorphic disorder, as I feel extremely self-conscious about my body (even though my ex assured me that I have nothing to be ashamed of, that I'm very sexy, etc.)\n\nOk so here's the part I'm confused about: guys that I think are pretty cute and interesting to talk to, whenever it gets to the point where I should probably kiss them or make some other kind of physical move, I shut down and do nothing. In that moment I find myself doubting whether or not I am actually attracted to them or something? It's like the anxiety of taking it to the next level overrides all the other emotions. \n\nAlso it's this weird thing where I've never really learned to \"flirt\" and I think that a lot of my interactions with guys tend to skew towards friendliness rather than... flirting or whatever? So then that's like an added layer of awkwardness where there's this platonic exchange going on but we're supposed to suddenly get \"sexy\" or whatever. \n\nI didn't have a huge sex drive with my ex. He pretty much wanted it every day, whereas I was closer to once every week or two. At the beginning of our relationship I wanted it more often. We had pretty great sex overall, at least when I was sincerely in the mood. \n\nDoes any of this seem to indicate that I'm not heterosexual?", "summary": "I find myself having sort of platonic relationships with men even when I find them attractive. Hard to initiate the sexual stuff, not sure if it's insecurity/Catholic guilt or cuz I'm not straight. "} {"id": "t3_2cpu6m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16F] with my Mom: 32F. She decided she doesn't want to be a mom anymore. Sending me to live with my aunt.", "post": "My mom told me that she wishes she never had kids. I am 16. She has pretty much decided she cannot stand to be a mom anymore and has asked my aunt to let me attend high school where she lives. My aunt cannot have kids, so she was willing to take me. \n\nThis means I have to move 200 miles away, to a good school but not the one I grew up with. I am a junior in high school this year and it will mean I have to do all my work over again (making friends with people, getting to know teachers). Not only that, I have been in Drama for the past two years and I was supposed to be a Drama Director this year. \n\nMy mom is ruining my life with this. I feel like I will not be able to do all the things I worked for and thus put on my college report. I will be the nobody, like they will let me be class treasurer if they don't know me. I have a job here, with good hours and an understanding boss. \n\nI am not sure what to do. I have tried talking to my mom, but my dad divorced her and I have not spoken or seen him in 9 years, so she says I need to let her live her life. She signed up to go back to school, quit her job and is on student loans. She sold the car I was supposed to use to get to work and has been giving me boxes. I am supposed to move in a week, right before school starts at my aunts. \n\nI need help.", "summary": "My mom decided to send me to live with my childless aunt. It is going to ruin my chances for college."} {"id": "t3_2q6jx6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25F] husband [26M] is lying to me constantly", "post": "We've been married for almost 7 months. Even while we were dating, his family has been a constant source of drama and conflict. We even went to couples counseling before we got married and the advice we were given was that we needed to establish boundaries between his family and our relationship.\n\nLately he has been lying to me about things related to his family. When they all try to make plans about things, he never tells me what's going on and I only hear the final plan once it has been decided (and then I'm the bitch because I can never attend because no one has asked me what my schedule is like). He even lied to me about his student loans, which I only discovered because I made him pull a credit report and the numbers did not match the information he had given me. And then I saw in his texts that he told his mother 'I'm telling her X, if she asks you for some reason, back me up.' \n\nLast night things came to a head, when his mother sent out an email scheduling an event saying \"after many back and forth emails.\" I had not been included on any of these back and forth emails, and my husband swore he was also excluded from the conversation. I picked up his phone, went through his texts, and found the text his mom sen him in the hours before her email, saying \"I'm sending you a separate email to discuss scheduling.\" He STILL denies lying to me, saying that what I saw wasn't what I thought, and he shouldn't have to defend himself to me. AND he's mad that I betrayed his trust and looked at his phone.\n\nWhat am I supposed to do... I feel so lost.", "summary": "There is no trust left in my marriage. My husband keeps lying to me, even when he's caught red handed. At a loss for what I'm supposed to do now."} {"id": "t3_3cnm21", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(28M) think my friend(27F) is in an abusive relationship - Not sure what to do", "post": "A friend of mine from high school texted me tonight saying that she thought she was \"haunted\" and that she was seeing figures in the night that would \"charge her\" and \"keep her (and her child) awake at night.\" She went on to say that she woke up everyday with a new bruise. I thought she was being a bit dramatic as I have known her to be sometimes. But then, she texted me a picture where it was clear that she had several bruises on her body. I think she was trying to ask for help in a way. \n\nThis isn't the first time I've suspected she was in a bad situation, just the first time that I am \"potentially\" seeing evidence. I haven't actually seen her in about four years although we live in the same city. We text occasionally but we don't have consistent communication. \n\nI know she is in a complicated relationship/marriage (I'm honestly not sure of their actual status). She has mentioned to me times where she felt threatened to the point where she would hide from him. There are other details that I can't go into that, in hindsight, are huge red flags. So I'm pretty sure that the abuse is real and ongoing. \n\nNow that I am confronted with what seems like evidence, I feel highly compelled to do something. Especially knowing that a child is involved. No, I'm not going to march over to her place and try to rescue her or anything that dramatic without knowing more of the situation. I'm really thinking what can I do to support her as a friend and point her in the direction of getting out. \n\nI don't know that involving any domestic abuse groups right now would be the right move, especially without me having talked to her about it first. I don't know how such organizations operate when it comes to anonymity. I highly doubt it be an effective move unless she was 100% committed to getting out of the relationship (which I only suspect she does, I don't know how emotionally complicated it truly is).\n\nI've dealt with some hardcore drama in my life but nothing quite as intense as this. Just need a bit of advice.", "summary": "I highly suspect that my friend is in a violently abusive relationship with the father of her child. Not sure how to help her while keeping her and myself safe."} {"id": "t3_flxh6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Relationship Redditors: Where is the line between romantic gesture and creepy stalking?", "post": "Yesterday I Learned that I'm a creepy stalker: \n\nGetting away from my specific Forever Aloneness for a moment, I'm left wondering: where is the line between a romantic gesture and creepy stalking? I clearly lost track of it somewhere.\n\nHere's a for-instance: lets say you break up with your S.O. and a few months later you decide you want them back. I see two groups:\n\n- People who are just lonely and want to get back with anyone, and the ex starts looking better and better\n\n- People who took a look at their actions, made some corrections, and want to try to patch things up\n\nSay for the sake of argument that we're talking about the latter case, what can you do to reach out that's romantic but not creepy?", "summary": "I messed up and got all creeptastic, but I suspect there's a better way, help me find it."} {"id": "t3_3s568u", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My girlfriend 19f and myself 19m have been dating for over a year now and still fight all the time, I am not sure what to do. (tough situation)", "post": "My girlfriend 19f and myself 19m have been dating for about a year and a half now. To try and make a long story short, her parents got divorced right after we met and got together so I am her only \"go to/family\" because her relationship with them has been destroyed and the parents treat her horribly now. We are both in college and do not have similar attitudes and most of our hobbies are very different. She does not get along with others very well but I can make friends with a bug. I am the dominant one in the relationship and she has been the dominant one in her past relationships so this causes problems between both of us as I'm sure you can imagine. For months now we have been fighting more than ever and it all seems to come from me not spending the amount of time she wants me to spend with her, but even when I do this we (mostly me) are only happy for a few weeks and then this process repeats. Another thing I would like to mention is that I am very focused on my future and career and I spend most of my time working, studying, taking care of any leadership positions I have, and working out. Those are my passions and I feel like it would be selfish of me not to take advantage of all the opportunities I have been given. This relationship is very unhealthy for the both of us and I was wondering if you guys had any suggestions or advice? Please help all suggestions are welcome.", "summary": "me 19m and gf 19f have a relationship I feel is unhealthy and I am her only \"rock\". I am not happy with where we are."} {"id": "t3_1mfaeq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27F] worry that we don't have the fire we're supposed to [28M] even after a year", "post": "We love each other very much - he's my best friend and the one person I look forward to growing old with, even though we've been dating just less than a year. We are cuddly and talk about everything. Just being near him relaxes me and warms me. We have so much fun together and he makes me feel brave.\n\nBut we sit opposite each other when we eat out or have drinks, not side by side and gazing lovingly at each other. \n\nWe have sex once or twice a week, and it's usually once we're already naked in bed. \n\nWe've never once argued, maybe he treats me with kid gloves.", "summary": "We never do anything \"romantic\" or \"passionate\" and we never argue, ever. Aren't we supposed to? What's wrong?"} {"id": "t3_2bxp9q", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I think my friend wants to go on a date.", "post": "we've always had a flirty friendship but to me she has always felt out of my league. although the last 6 months she has started seeing guys who remind me and some of our mutual friends of me. we've gotten a lot closer in the past few months and closer still now we are both home from university for the summer. the other day she text me asking to hang out, but i was already hanging out with a mutual friend so the three of us ended up going out but i could sense that wasnt what she wanted as she was quiet the whole time. we were sat on a bench type seat outside watching the sunset and she came in close and put her head on my shoulder at one point. she has asked to hang out 'just us two' now and we are going down the beach in a few days time. im unsure what her intentions are, i do have feelings for her so may be seeing things that aren't there, as she has always told me about guys shes gone on dates with and i helped her through a difficult breakup 3 years ago which she still talks about sometimes to me now. when out drinking last weekend her best friend out of the blue asked me if i liked her to which i gave a very vague answer that could have been interpreted as yes and since then she has been asking to hang out alone, even though her friend did swear she wouldn't say anything. is this a date or is this to friends just hanging out? i've planned on highlighting how close we've gotten lately in conversation and gage where we are off her response, is that a good idea or am i pushing something that isn't there. ive spoken to two non mutual friends and the boy said go for it the girl said tread lightly. any help would be appriiacted", "summary": "a long time friend has started getting close to me and has asked to hang out alone. are we friends or is this some pre curser to a date."} {"id": "t3_32d2sc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 F] with my boyfriend [32 M] of 5 months, and the very strange interaction with a credit card.", "post": "I'll try to keep this short. Met a guy online just before Thanksgiving and we seem to have been hitting it off. We became official about a month in and it's moving slowly, which is fine with me. I saw him this Friday after work for a short date as I was volunteering that night but we both thought it would be nice if I stopped by for dinner. We ordered pizza and went to pick it up in his car. He paid for it. \n\nHere's the strange part. He took his credit card out of his wallet in front of the clerk. The clerk scanned his credit card and instead of passing it back to him, handed it to me. My initial plan was to take the card and give it directly back to him. I didn't think this was a big deal as the clerk made a mistake, but to him this was a HUGE issue. He snatched the card from the clerk. Normally he's very soft spoken and his reaction seemed a little weird/ over the top, so I said jokingly, \"I can't hold your credit card?\" \n\nI got a curt, \"No, don't touch my card. You can't have it,\" as a response, said quite loudly (I had never heard him raise his voice before) and then he was very quiet and upset until about 15 minutes before I had to leave. The clerk even apologized about giving the card to the wrong person.\n\nI'm 30, I have a good job, I have minimal debt. I wasn't going to take/steal his card. I can't come up with a response as to why holding his card would freak him out so much. He is frugal, but I always thought it was rational (using coupons etc even though he's making 150K a year) but this seemed super over the top. I'm planning on talking with him about this on Tuesday but I want to make sure I'm not over-reacting.", "summary": "Boyfriend had an over the top reaction when the clerk accidentally handed me his credit card. Not sure how to interpret it."} {"id": "t3_t5qps", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Burned the carpet! I desperately need your help Reddit!", "post": "So heres the story. My mom and I live in an apartment, and I will be going off to college in a few short months. My mom plans to move in with her fiancee once I leave for college, so we will be leaving the apartment shortly. Now, as it approaches our problem-free move-out, tragedy struck. I was smoking a hookah in my room and the charcoal fell off and onto the carpet. I tried to clean it up as best as I could and as fast as I could, but the carpet did get burned in two spots pretty close together. My concern is that now we will have to pay to apartment complex to fix the carpet, and we don't know how much that will be. Mom has already made it clear that it will be me who comes up with the money for this, but before all the shit finishes hitting the fan, I could use your help in two ways, Reddit.\n\n1) Do you think, based on the size of the burns, they will charge us to re-carpet the entire room? Or will they only charge us for the patch that is damaged that they can replace? And how much do you think each would cost?\n\n2) Is there anything I should do before they come to check out the damage (we havent told them it happened yet, just did last night) that might help it look better or not damaged at all?\n\nI appreciate any help, I'm sorry if its really long but I wanted to make sure I covered the details. Please help me out, brothers and sisters!", "summary": "accidentally burned my apartment's carpet and need to get it fixed. how much will it cost/what could I do to make it cost less/fix it?"} {"id": "t3_379061", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [F22] have developed a big crush on one of my managers [M27]. Is this asking for trouble?", "post": "I work in the service industry as a cash girl/server/bartender. I've been in all three positions for a year now and really enjoy my job. It's great while I'm a student, the hours are flexible and my coworkers are great. Especially Noah.\n\nNoah is intelligent, funny, sweet, handsome.. the list goes on and on. He's basically perfect. He's the head chef. He tends to work day shifts and spends the first few hours of his shifts doing his office work. I do our bookkeeping stuff five or so days a week, so he and I spend a lot of time together in the office. We spend a lot of the morning chatting and joking around. A few weeks ago we started a tickle war.. We're both incredibly ticklish, so we sneak up on each other and poke eachother's sides. \n\nWe've hung out outside of work a few times during staff parties. Last time was at a coworkers birthday. Noah and I spent the whole time sitting at a table in the corner chatting. There's definite chemistry and I'm 99.9% positive that he likes me back.\n\nThe trouble is that he's in a management position. He isn't my manager, but he's still in a higher position at my work. I was talking to my GM about dating coworkers and was told that dating coworkers was fine as long as it doesn't interfere with work. My GM is dating one of my coworkers who is a server there, so I don't think Noah and I dating would go against any company policy..\n\nBUT I'm still hesistant. I've seen dating in the workplace go horribly. I've avoided it for that reason. I just can't help but think about what I'm missing out on if I don't pursue this. I also don't know how make a move.. I'm used to having the other person make the first move.", "summary": "I have a crush on a manager at work and am pretty certain he likes me back. Should I go for it? How do I make a move? Do girls even make the first move?"} {"id": "t3_13ngxz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Am I over-reacting? what should I do?", "post": "BACKGROUND: me and my sister are artists. we draw and paint on paper/ canvases.\n\nStory: basically, we got some artwork framed at a frame shop that our mom found/knew about. well a few weeks later my sister needed one of the paintings to be without a frame for a contest. we took off the frame and lo and behold, around two inches was cut off the bottom of the canvas board\n\nthe painting did look shorter when it had a frame on it, but we didn't think much of it. it appears to me like the lady at the frame shop just had an extra frame lying around and decided it was a close enough fit and cut the bottom off the canvas board. instead of making a fitted frame for the painting, she used a pre-made one, most likely to save money or because she was lazy\n\nit is on this type of canvas\n\n \n\nAm I over reacting or does this rustle anyone else's jimmies? should I ask the woman why she would do this? I know that the painting is simply wood pulp board with colored chemicals on it, but my sister worked hard on it. I don't want to say that a painting is an artist's child, because that sounds so corny, but if you put a lot of time and effort into something, you wouldn't want a cheap woman cutting off the bottom two inches! we don't want any restitution, or anything, I'm just wondering wtf was she thinking?>_< \n\nAlso I need to get some more pieces framed, and my mom wants to use this place again, but she doesn't know about the cut canvas yet. should i tell the lady not to cut off the bottom this time? should take my business elsewhere? are there any frameshop workers out there on reddit that can provide insight?\n\nsorry if this is sprawled, I'm tired as fudge.", "summary": "cheap woman cuts off canvas and frames it. should i forget it and take my business else where? or am I being overly sentimental? "} {"id": "t3_2m5qra", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[28/f] My boyfriend and I are both aspiring artists but I'm having a hard time respecting his (31/m) art", "post": "Maybe this would be better suited for an art-specific subreddit, because I'm afraid this will come off as pretentious or something, but I thought I'd start here to see if anyone has any advice. \n\nMy boyfriend and I both work professionally in the photography industry (separately) but we both also have our personal creative side of photography that is separate from our jobs (like fine art - stuff you'd find in a gallery). When we first met and I found his website, it kind of turned me off because I didn't really like his work. But I got to know him and we've been together for almost 2 years. \n\nSince I've known him better I kind of \"get\" his art a little better, but I still kind of cringe when I see it or he does something new. I try, as a fellow artist in the same medium (but completely different style) to give constructive criticism when it's appropriate, but mostly I am just supportive and positive enough without being emphatic. Really I think that 95% of his work just plain sucks. \n\nIt's not like he's parading around thinking he's great though, he rarely seems inspired or puts a lot of effort into anything. I try to inspire or motivate him, and encourage the things that would make his body of work more consistent and just...better...but he still just sucks.\n\nIt's kind of dragging on me because I feel like I put a lot of effort into trying to \"help\" him (he does ask for my help and doesn't get defensive when I critique, so it's not like I'm just constantly giving unsolicited disapproval) but I can't tell an artist how to do their own art. I just think he has so much wasted potential and I'm tired of being supportive and positive when he creates work that I secretly hate. Where can I go from here?", "summary": "I think my boyfriend's art sucks. I've tried to gently help him improve but I think he just sucks, and I feel bad!"} {"id": "t3_2qihrh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How should I [20 F] tell my friend [20 M] that he needs to let go of his \"ex\"?", "post": "I have known this friend for almost a year now and we meet up often because we decided to become gym buddies. Every time we talk, whether it is in person or online, he talks about his ex-girlfriend in one way or another. If there's any kind of link between our convo and his ex \u2014 he brings her up. It's always \"my ex used to.. \" \"my ex told me.. \" from him. It's honestly have gotten so bad to the point that I want to roll my eyes whenever he brings her up. She is his first girlfriend and they broke up 2 years ago. Here's the kicker; they have never even met in person. She lives in Asia, he lives in the U.S. I tell him that the past is the past and he needs to let her go (he insists that he has, it's just that our conversation is relevant about her and he does think of her from time to time). Yet, he still talks about her ALL THE TIME. How should I tell him nicely that I am frankly tired of his anecdotes about his ex girlfriend and that he should stop? \n\nSorry for my bad English.", "summary": "Friend keeps bringing up his ex long distance girlfriend (his first girlfriend) from Asia whenever he gets the chance; I am tired and annoyed. How do I tell him to stop in the nicest way possible?"} {"id": "t3_yd07f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am m[23] she is f[20]. Found out she lied and maybe cheating on me. Please help.", "post": "Hey this is my first time posting here so please bare with me if I am doing this incorrectly.\n\nI will keep this as short as I can.\n\nWell I've been with my girlfriend for over 4 years now. I am a student at a D1 school (very high overall rank). There have always been ups and downs in the relationship (she has fucked up a lot and has apologized repeatedly).\n\nWell anyways she always tells me shes going studying at a friends house and at starbucks or the library or volunteering etc. Well we were hanging out and she wanted to check her facebook on my phone.\n\nShe left my place and I went to the gym. I come back and am taking a dump and bring my phone with me and go on facebook, only to find out she is still signed into facebook on my phone. So I see all these photos that I've never seen. She blocked me from themmm...they are fucking party photos with her literally getting dry humped by other guys.....\n\nAlot of the photos were mobile uploads from friends and the times listed on them were pretty much all the times she would say she went \"Studying\" or went to a friends place etc.\n\nI put so much trust into her only to get this in return. I have been faithful since day fucking one.\n\nShe isn't home yet, but I have a feeling that I will be spending the night(most likely more) in jail.\n\nHelp me please. I don't know what do I do. I cant fucking control it. I haven't ever felt these kinds of emotions all piling on to me at once. For all I know she could be doing much more.", "summary": "Girlfriend of 4 years left her Facebook open on my phone and I found photos of her partying and she lied to me on several occasions."} {"id": "t3_tqop2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What are the pros/cons/potential pitfalls of adopting a data-only VoIP smartphone plan?", "post": "The long story short is that I want to upgrade my phone but in the long run it will cost me hundreds (perhaps thousands) of dollars to do so because I would have to give up the unlimited data plan I have right now. The desire to save money has fueled my research to find a different solution, and recently I stumbled on this article: \n\nThis article speaks to me in a lot of ways--I already have Google Voice as my primary phone number, I was hoping to upgrade to a Galaxy Nexus, and adopting a 5GB data plan with no voice/text element would potentially save me about $15-25/mo. That said, buying a phone off contract is a much larger one-time expense compared to upgrading ($400 versus $150 with a new contract). But a new contract will end up costing me about $20 more per month for less functionality than my current contract.", "summary": "I'm very tempted to drop Verizon entirely and adopt an AT&T data plan and use VoIP to place & receive calls. Good idea? Bad idea? I don't want to jump into this without thinking it through completely."} {"id": "t3_3496eu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [34 M] am not happy with my marriage of 6 years, but care for my wife [35 F].", "post": "We have a good marriage - supportive of each other, very little arguing, etc., but I feel so unfulfilled. My wife is sweet and helpful, but also very boring. She is a shallow thinker, not vain, but doesn't process things at a deep level, which really hinders our conversations. She is a huge introvert and homebody, so we rarely do anything besides Netflix - usually separately, as our entertainment tastes differ quite a bit. It's like our differences have just become exaggerated over the years to the point where I'm experiencing an overwhelming sense of loneliness (my profession makes it hard to have friends). \n\nShe also relies on me for common information that an adult should know. It often feels like I'm in a parent/child relationship, not a husband/wife relationship. This leads to me getting frustrated easily with her when I'm usually a very patient person. I find myself talking to her in tones that I never thought I would use with my wife. \n\nThe extra wrinkle is that she has health issues that are only getting worse with time. They are eventually going to make me her caregiver in the next 10 years or so. It scares me that I'll soon have nothing but her mind to connect with and we don't really connect well there. \n\nWe've been trying to get pregnant for over 2 years, but I think her health issues are getting in the way. In spite of this, we are heading to a dead bedroom situation. I find her very physically attractive, but I think all of this is just messing with me too much mentally. \n\nI just don't know what to do. I can't make her smarter. I can't make her healthy/more active. I can't make her interests change. And she can't do any of those things either. I don't want to leave her, but I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this.", "summary": "I feel like I've made a huge mistake with who I married. We are drifting apart in so many ways. But I don't know what can be done to fix things."} {"id": "t3_4ehq4y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What would be the best move for myself [M/18] to make with this girl [F/18] I have feelings for?", "post": "I met this girl over a year ago and I've kind of had a thing for her although I never actively pursued as at the time I felt that that all she wanted was a platonic relationship. I was also looking to pursue another girl at the time. Fast forward to fairly recently, where we hung out and there were some flirty vibes. We hung out a few more times and the most recent time I brought her to meet some of my friends. A few days later she told me that she found one of them interesting and wanted to talk to him more. Although, I made it clear that this certain friend is known for being a player and that it probably would not be the greatest idea to mess with him. \n\nAm I better off just keeping my feelings to myself and keep it as is?", "summary": "I have some feelings for this girl I've know for a little while but I don't exactly know if it's best to keep it as is or say something."} {"id": "t3_2wp359", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I can't get approved for a credit card. How do I build credit?", "post": "A little backstory: I'm 27. When I was in my early twenties, I opened a card with a $1,000 limit. Maxed it out and didn't pay it for a few years. I also had a checking account go to collections for being negative too long. Also, stopped attending school and didn't pay my loans for a few years. \n\nWithin the last two years, I've paid off everything on my credit report in full, with the exception of my student loans. I've made every loan payment on time for the last two years, (automatic payments) and have about $7,000 left. I bought a car and have made more than the minimum payment and have never been late. \n\nBut I still have a low credit score and am wondering how to fix it. I applied for a credit card with Discover and got denied. It says due to outstanding non-payment. I'm worried that there's something on my credit report that I missed, but I don't want to pay another $60 to check all three scores. \n\nIs this just a waiting game, or is there something I can do to build credit in the meantime? TIA", "summary": "Messed up my credit, now back on track but still can't get a credit card... How do I fix it?"} {"id": "t3_1uq6z2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend of 11 months [15F] and I [16M] love each other more than anything, but are finding ourselves increasingly unhappy as of late. Any suggestions to keep what we have?", "post": "I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since early February 2013. Everything had been so perfect with her through about November, I would say. After that, though, things have taken a downward turn. \n\nWe've both been increasingly irritable, and generally unhappy. We constantly apologize for silly things, and blame ourselves for anything that goes wrong between us. We just aren't happy, and don't have fun together, and I just want the happiness we used to have back in our relationship. I proposed it may be the depressing weather, stress from my job, or stress from work, but those just may be me making excuses to cover up a larger problem. I don't know what to do, really.\n\nI'm happy to give any details on the matter, so long as they're not exceedingly personal. Thanks, Reddit.", "summary": "My girlfriend of 11 months and I have been increasingly unhappy as of late, and I'm looking for any positive help/suggestions."} {"id": "t3_175ac4", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "I got offered a job at a strip club today (without asking for one) due to my weight loss.", "post": "I'm male, 21, single parent and accountant. \n\nAn acquaintance I first met about a year ago were hanging out with some of our mutual friends a few nights ago. When I first met him, I was pushing 210lbs. I've always had a large frame (sports in high school, genetics) but have always been able to maintain about 160lb with about 10% body fat until my son was conceived. \n\n\"Sympathy weight\" turned in to just \"getting fat\" and I got fucking tired of it. I'm now back to my High School weight; 160lbs, 11% fat index. \n\nThe only things I did were:\n\n* Portion control.\n\n* Rode my motorcycle ~2 hours every day in full gear, in the Texan summer (work commute). \n\nThat's about it. I've never been more flattered, but I turned him down. I already have a good career I'm building. I really wanted to tell someone about this, and I figured you guys (and gals) would appreciate this story. I suppose I could post a couple pics, but only if they're requested.", "summary": "used to be fit, got fat, got fit again, got an offer to be naked in public which I turned down"} {"id": "t3_3wyw5a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "We [18M&18F] seem to connect. What do you think", "post": "So, we met yesterday at the University Entrance Course. She had a lot pins on her schoolbag (anime, dota 2, disney chracters, etc) so i asked her did she got those. We found out that we had a teacher in common when we were in High School (we went to different high schools). Going on with the talk i found out that she cosplays and goes to anime conventions. Wow. She is the one i've been looking for.\n\nNow, im seeing her tomorrow and i was thinking of asking her to the start wars premiere. I'm sure she has seem the other ones. \n\nWhat do you guys think?", "summary": "Met my type (geeky and nerdy). I'll ask her to come to the Star Wars premiere with me. What do you guys think?"} {"id": "t3_1p02md", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22M] feel ignored by my girlfriend [22F] on our long distance relationship", "post": "First of all, sorry about using a throwaway account, I'm trying to ommit a few tings to maintain my privacy.\n\nSo, we had our ups and downs, but in the end we always loved each other very much and we always did many things together for the 7 months we lived together. Whenever we were apart from each other we texted each other and she didn't take long to answer, it felt great, we talked about anything. Then 2 months ago I had to go abroad for a scholarship which might last 1 year and ever since then it's been hard for me to deal with a few things, which is why I came here to ask for a few opinions to see if I'm making it out to be way worse than it actually is.\n\nSince I came abroad we've been trying to keep in touch using facebook and skype, but due to the 5 hour time difference sometimes it's hard to communicate at times. This has become increasingly difficult for me to handle when I see that she never starts a conversation with me or that she's commenting on pictures and liking facebook statuses while my message has been hanging there for 1 hour without any answer.\n\nI have to admit that on two occasions I went the passive aggressive route and just decided to tell her that I'm leaving, which immediately triggered a response from her.\n\nFor quite a few times I just felt like I should just deal with it and try not to argue, which turned into ignoring her for a while until I felt calm enough to respond politely or just tell her that I don't like the way she acts.\n\nIt's been 2 months and it hasn't changed, it's starting to make me feel exhausted and I don't know if I'll be able to deal with this for much longer. \n\nThere was this one time when I almost broke up with her, which ended up on a really long conversation on skype where she could barely talk to me because she was crying but I feel like it would've been easier for me if I just ended this because I can't understand what's going on or I can't accept this behaviour which feels unusual to me.\n\nIs it just a normal thing and I'm overreacting?", "summary": "Ever since we were forced to have a long-distance relationship I feel like my girlfriend has been ignoring me on purpose and I'm not good at dealing with that"} {"id": "t3_2xkko7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My mom's boyfriend [M/48] wants me to move out as soon as I turn 18. My mom [F/41] is agreeing with him. What can I do? - Update", "post": "[link to original post](\n\nOn mobile. I apologize for any mistakes. Small update for those who want it.\n\nit's been a while since I've updated. I logged in this morning to see a few messages, mostly asking if I am okay and how are things going.\n\nTo make an incredibly long story short: I am currently sleeping on a friend's couch. Mom's boyfriend kicked me out, mom didn't say/do anything. She signed away her custody of my sister and sister is now living with my grandparents. As far as I know, her and her boyfriend and his kids are still living together. I have had minimal contact with her since her boyfriend kicked me out.\n\nThings have been...okay. My friend's parents are charing me $25 a day to stay here, but money is getting tight. It's hard to save up when my only income is mostly tips. Add what little bills I now have into the mix, I really don't have a lot.\n\nGoing to try and stay here with my friend until June so I can graduate high school, then move to VA to attend, but that isn't set in stone yet. Friends parents can kick me out any time, and that worries me. Now I'm just trying to find more/better ways to make money. \nA lot of you gave me great advice, and I really appreciate it. More than most of you will know.\n\nWill update again whenever things change. Sorry this isn't much, but it is an update for you all.", "summary": "Things got crappy. Then got better. Are getting crappier now. Money is tight. Really unsure of what to do."} {"id": "t3_18l8wi", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[22/f] Partner leaving the country [23/m]", "post": "I've been spending time with this guy who is only here to study, and he doesn't know if he will be leaving the country or staying another year to continue his studies. I'm studying French, and he's French and studying computer science. We are not a couple, but lately we've been connecting on a more serious level, and I'm starting to develop feelings for him that weren't there 6 months ago. \n\nThe fact that he doesn't know if he is staying in the country or not makes me hesitate to pursue this romance further. I've lived in France before, and if our romance were to last in the long-term I'm not sure if I would be willing to live in France.\n\nAlso, the fact that we're in some sort of friendship-romance limbo is confusing and frustrating as well. Lately we've been spending a lot more time together, talking for hours on end and continuing to spend time together on a frequent basis. This is one of the most organic relationships I've had where our relationship is based on conversation. However, I'm afraid and I assume he's afraid to make a move. How do I make a move? Should I platonically but intentionally touch his hand, arm, etc.? Should I tell him flat out that I start to have feelings for him?", "summary": "Current flame is not sure whether he's staying in the country or not. Do I pursue the romance despite the unstable future? How do I let him know that I am starting to see him romantically and not as a friend anymore?"} {"id": "t3_28ebna", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I talk to my boyfriend about moving in together? [24F, 29M]", "post": "My boyfriend recently bought a new house and is moving all of his friends into it. However, even though I spend 99% of our time together at his place (he doesn't want to stay at my place), he has not invited me to move in. He is away for work for 15 days a month but for the 15 days he is home I stay at his apartment exclusively.\n\nI figure if he was ready he would have asked now that he has more space, so I want to respect the fact that he isn't there yet. However, I don't want to be together for years and years while living separately, especially since I am also paying a huge amount of rent to stay in an apartment for half the year.\n\nHow can I tell him that I would like us to think about moving in together in the relatively near future? We have been dating a year (plus a handful of months long-distance) and I would hope that there is a solid plan in place by the 1.5-2 year mark.", "summary": "Ready to move in together, boyfriend doesn't seem to be. He just bought a house and it seems like a good time to see if things are heading in that direction. How do I ask?"} {"id": "t3_1a8wxt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[f23] need some tips on how to deal with my SO [m23] and his single male mentality. We've been dating for 1.5yrs.", "post": "I have a couple things that I need some advice on how to address. He has some bad habits that aren't really bad habits... if you're single. We are living together and going to college. At LEAST 3 or 4 times a month we'll be at home doing our own separate things and he'll just get up and leave the house to hang out with our other roommate or his friends without saying a single word to me! I encourage him to have is own life apart from me but I think it is self centered and disrespectful to just leave the house and stay out all night without even saying \"hey I'm going to go meet up with friends, see you later.\" I'm not trying to stop him or control him in anyway, I just want to be kept in the loop. I've brought this up before and sometimes he apologizes and says he wont do it again but he does do it again and when I bring it up again he gets very defensive. \n\nI know I am being insecure about this but when we are out together with friends, he reminisces about \"the good days\" when he was 17 and in a band doing all sorts of drugs ALL the time, drunk most of the time and bringing home girls left, right and center. I understand that he is probably exaggerating some of the stories but it hurts to hear those stories being told like those were the best days of his life and it has been all downhill from there. In my girl brain I hear, \"I wish i was single and had no responsibilities, and being with you (me) isn't what I really want\" \nThese are the 2 most prominent things that happen. There are more scenarios that add to my issues. \n\nAny advice on how to deal with this?", "summary": "My bf still has a single male attitude and I'm not sure how to address the issues without sounding like a nagging girlfriend."} {"id": "t3_1kit1o", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "He's [19M] just not that into me [19F]?", "post": "I met a really nice guy last semester and finally got up the nerve to ask him out just as he was leaving the country for a month; he said yes to a date when he returned and we talked almost every day while he was abroad. We got really close, so much so that neither of us really consider ourselves to be single any more even though we've yet to go out.\n\nHe got back home, to a city about an hour away from mine, a little over a week ago. We each had prearranged plans so I knew I wouldn't be able to see him until this weekend at the earliest. Knowing that he lives a distance away I assume that any trip up he makes isn't going to be spontaneous. I finally got up the nerve (or lost my patience waiting) to ask him if he would like to meet tomorrow. I'm thinking that if both parties are really eager to see each other (as he has seemed to be and I am) it would happen on the first available day. WRONG.\n\nHe said he might have some other obligations (picking someone up from the airport) but he'll try, I told him not to bother. I just feel like if he really wanted to see me wouldn't he have made arrangements in his schedule to do so?\n\nWas this just an internet-summer-fling and now he's not interested? Should I just stop talking to him or should I continue to try to see him?", "summary": "I've been in an internet romance with a boy from school and now he doesn't seem to want to meet up in real life. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_235u87", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 M] feel like I cannot form great relationships. Only child and just got treated for anxiety/inferiority complex.", "post": "I basically am playing the field now. I learned basic social skills and made some nice acquaintances at my university. I call them acquaintances because I commute and only see them for class. \n\nI wasn't raised in a very encouraging environment. My parent's marriage has shitty communication which had a negative influence on me. \n\nI try to talk to people now but I don't get close or even replied back too (text). Really, I am just a horny dude who wants a girl but I suck at forming relationships. I quit alcohol and marijuanna because I used to heavily abuse them as coping mechanisms. Sober in University is so much fun when ya whole school is ghetto and goes to whoever has the best shit party. \n\nSo any advice? I've read books like mark manson's models and also 48 rules of power. I was hoping someone knew a book that leads to creativity for talking with someone. I met a new girl [ 21, F] and I don't really know her well since we met last Saturday but I want to get close. \n\nDo talking to people involve saying dumb shit over texts and making retarded jokes? I used to do that when I was on weed and girls always fucking loved it.", "summary": "Sober. Problem with getting personal for women. Don't know if I am awkward and should find books on this."} {"id": "t3_3i9ehn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (32/m) Dating someone (23/f) nearly ten years younger for the last five months.", "post": "In the beginning, I thought dating a younger person would be refreshing. I'm (32/m) a professional and meet my current gf (23/f) at work. My prior gf (34/f) really stressed the ultimate goal of kids and marriage. Unfortunately, she was uneducated ( turns out a really important thing for me) and messy. Great heart though. My current gf, doesn't have those stresses. She is living her life. She doesn't like partying and drinking. In fact, she is into comic books and nerd culture. So she is super understanding about my gaming. We bonded over these things. On top of that,she is educated and has a great deal of common sense. My issue now ( it's been five months) is that her age becomes very apparent in social settings. It's almost cringe inducing when she talks about animated films when I'm talking to a colleague about stocks or work. \n\nI am very patient so I don't react to this. It's just in my mind that she is being judged this I'm being judged. Should I ignore these insecurities? I do love her, but this is the main issue I have thus far. Other than her laugh... But if interested we can talk about that as well. Any advice?", "summary": "dating a someone much younger than me. Social setting is very awkward due to my friends or colleagues not having the same excitement over \" childish\" topics get and I can talk about. How much should this bother me?"} {"id": "t3_30dm2j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Self-sabatoging my[26F] relationship with my BF[30M], please help!!", "post": "Basically the title explains it all. I have been with my BF for 9 months now, and we were friends for 4 years before we started dating. Things when I'm not over-thinking everything are very good - we get along super well, spend almost every night together, great sex, etc. We have talked about our lives together, our future, and what that will look like. Our biggest issue has been that I am much more affectionate than he is, and I wasn't feeling needed and desired by him. He is very sweet to me, and I believe a huge part of the problem is simply me. I have fairly bad trust issues, based on things that have happened in my college years, and I trust BF more than any guy I have dated. I know he would never ever hurt me, and every time I've gotten upset and told him how I was feeling, he always tries to go a step further and make me happy. But I feel like I am self-sabatoging this, possibly because I DO trust him so much, and that scares me so much. After my past, I am not super comfortable having so much faith in another person. But he is never going to be a fan of tons of PDA or even wanting to cuddle up on me all the time when we're alone, so how do I stop myself from reading into this?", "summary": "BF less into affection than me, makes me think he's not as \"into me\" even when I know this isn't true. How to be ok with that?"} {"id": "t3_1teqq9", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "[Serious] Is there a way to teach my dog how to use the bathroom toilet?", "post": "Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I've been training my dog to go outside to bathroom for some time now, but despite the constant training to poop on command she is not getting the que it may be time to poop especially when it is pouring rain outside. \n\nI've kept a rigid schedule she usually follows but she gets really choosey and prefers to take her time. So I end up saying \"poopy potty time\" half a million times looking like a crazy person to the passer by. I am at my wits end and decided if I cant get her to make quick on her Lincoln Logs outside when I want her to, maybe I can just get her to use a toilet and not have to worry about her schedule. Of course I would take her for walks and stuff for exercise but I just am tired of standing outside in the pouring rain waiting for her to produce a chocolate brownie. \n\nShe is a very smart dog and I have taught her other things like using her left or right paw to shake, but Potty training has been a nightmare. I have trained her for months now and there seems to be zero progress on freeing any chocolate hostages upon order. So if I can't realistically get her to toss her milk duds into the porcelain throne, maybe just some additional pointers on the pooping on command thing could really help ease the frustrations with production in her chocolate factory.", "summary": "Dog refuses launch her dark submarines upon order despite repeated training, requesting possible training for evac at the torpedo bay or additional instructions for helping speed my order up for dunkin' donuts."} {"id": "t3_3qgawa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it her [21F] anxiety, me [21M], or something else?", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for 19 months now and have started living together back in June. We ran into some money issues and are both in a bit of credit debt. We have started making adjustments so we can pull ourselves out (awesome!).\n\nHowever, last night I had to come down on her hard because she barely pays the rent each month. In doing so, it turned into me raising my voice at her and fighting. She would constantly tell me to go away and stop talking about the subject matter but I was persistent to make sure she understood that bills need to come first before everything else. Granted she only needs about $400 a month which is almost all of one paycheck but we are roommates and need to split everything, which we aren't.\n\nI understand she is happy to have money finally in her life but I just want her to understand that rent and bills need to come first before personal spending. \n\nMoving on, she always gets like this when I confront her about anything money related or regarding an issue in our relationship. At least, in person. When I talk to her over texting, she can talk no problem. She tells me she has anxiety and can't do simple tasks like a normal person. She hasn't been to the doctor's to actually be diagnosed but I hope she isn't using it as an excuse for why she doesn't understand these adult things. Maybe she doesn't want to grow up? Maybe she wants me to pay for everything and save her own dough (which I came down on her for again and she just wouldn't look at me and roll her eyes).\n\nIt's stressful for me and her because it's now affecting our relationship that was perfect when we moved in together. She said moving forward she will give me the money even though she's got her credit debt (which is nowhere near as high as mine).\n\nI feel like I am trying to do the best thing for us. Am I? Your thoughts?", "summary": "Does my girlfriend really have anxiety and is preventing her from cooperating with adulthood, or does she just not want to grow up?"} {"id": "t3_1dnmdy", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What does it feel like to love yourself for who you are no matter what your orientation is?", "post": "So this is something I've been thinking about a lot, I wanna love myself and accept who I am and how I am. I am a bit overweight but I am playing a lot of basketball since its summer time and plan on doing some swimming too to lose some weight.\nBut there are other things like I am a bit hairy and I have a sort of hump on my back so all these physical things just make me a bit insecure. I feel like life would be so much happier/different if I accepted myself, how does it feel for those of you out there who have done this? thanks!", "summary": "A bit insecure about myself due to physical limitations, how can I turn this around and what does it feel like to love yourself for who you are?"} {"id": "t3_2j0y3o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [19/M] seriously confused about what I'm feeling after seeing my ex [19/F] again.", "post": "So around 8 months ago, my ex [19/F] broke up with me pretty out of the blue and i did struggle with it for a good few months, I wont lie. I thought that she was the person i I'd be with forever, sounds stupid I know. However, recently I've felt like I've got over her as best I could and things have been fine.\n\nWell recently we've started seeing each other again at social gatherings (same friend group), and shes been acting like she used to with me; flirty and touchy, and picking me out of a group of people to talk to, looking at me when jokes are made or just when theres silence. All the sort of things she did before we initially got together.\n\nNow heres where my feelings are making me confused... Its making me want to ask her out again. I know I shouldn't because these kind of things only ever end well for a few people, but my feelings are just making me so confused about whats going on and what I should do.\n\nI guess really I'm just asking for any advice that you can give me now. Or any experiences that you've had this happen to yourself and what happened. Thanks.", "summary": "I'm [19/M] confused about feelings for my ex [19/F] which are cropping up again after a few meetings with her again... Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_2bsu1f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [24/F] talk to my roomate and friend [23/F] about her weight?", "post": "Hi Everyone,\n\nI've lived with my good friend from college for the past two years. We moved to the big city right after graduation. While she was always larger than average - in the past year she's gained even more weight - to the point that I think she is going to have serious health problems. The best I can estimate is she's probably at 5'3 and over 250 lbs. \n\nI'm worried for her. And I want to say something. I know part of the reason she eats is because she hates / is stressed by her job. Do I have the right to say anything? To offer to help? I don't want to be viewed judging what is pretty and not or body shaming - I'm just seriously concerned about her health and want to help without ruining our relationships / making her feel uncomfortable in our home. Do I even have the right to say anything? \n\nTo complicate it, I've always been thin. I'm 5'8 120lbs. I do also go to the gym 3-4 times a week and am careful about what I eat. I'm aware that me addressing her weight could be viewed as critical or unhelpful given my body. \n\nAny advice would be appreciated.", "summary": "My good friend and roommate has gained significant weight over the past year to the point of obesity - should I say / do something?"} {"id": "t3_3rgki7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21 f] snooped around fwb [27 m] apartment and found out he has lied about everything", "post": "been fwb with this guy for a few months it's getting to a point where we both have feelings for each other and he talked about wanting to be my boyfriend.. \n\nhe works nights so I often go over around 5 and leave at 11 when he leaves for work. He always offers for me to just stay the night at his apartment while he goes to work but I usually decline. This time I was pretty drunk so I just stayed the night. I woke up around 3am really wanting some water and was being nosy and saw some papers on his kitchen counter (i know i shouldn't have done this)... I read them.. \n\none was a pay stub he told me he worked for one company but the pay stub was for a different company and his name is different than the one he told me (i already suspected this because I looked up his phone number on facebook and found his profile under that name) also the name he told me isnt his middle name. I also found some papers and they were for a chemical substance abuse program and he had signatures from a parole officer. \n\nI want to ask him about it but don't want him to know I snooped around his apartment like that. He is really polite and one of the sweetest guys I have ever met he treats me like a queen and i am just really confused on what to do. should i drop him or ask or what idk what to do.", "summary": "snooped around my fwb who im considering getting serious with apartment found out he lied about his name, his job, and might be on parole. not sure what to do or whether or not to ask about it"} {"id": "t3_1m1r3h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Trying to set up a date with a woman (25F) and I (24M) cannot find a night that she is free. What can I do?", "post": "So I went on this date a few weeks ago with this girl that I have had a crush on for small while. Everything went well, conversation flowed and we both had a great time. For the last week and a half I have been trying to set up a second date, but this girl is always busy. She just got a new job and is working a ton of hours to make ends meet. So every time I try to set up a date with this girl she has work, and every night that she isnt working she usually ends up babysitting her nieces and nephews. \n\nAll in all, I dont think she is blowing me off on purpose, but at the same time, I am starting to get tired of trying to set up this second date. She keeps saying she is interested in meeting up again. And I really do like her a lot, so I dont want to just give up as long as she says she wants a second date. So, what is something I can try to set up another date? I told her a few days ago to text me a day she is free and we can set up something then, but I haven't heard back from her yet.", "summary": "Girl is interested in a second date, but she is busy every time we try to set up another date. What can I do, if anything, to help move things along?"} {"id": "t3_2qvtjr", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Bathing my lhasa apso", "post": "When I adopted my previous dog, he was 8 years old and was found in a garage. He lacked socialization, wasn't fixed, and generally demonstrated non-doggy behavior. I loved him to bits as he was incredibly sweet except when it came to grooming. Literally if I took him to a groomer, they would not take him back. I ran out of groomers in one town and started going a few towns over. I tried to home-bathe and clip him, but had to enlist two friends to help.\n\nHe passed away a few years ago and last Spring I adopted a lhasa apso puppy (Hudson). I have always taken Hudson to a grooming salon because of my previous experiences. He does great. The groomers love him and actually ask me to request them by name so they can take care of him again. I tried to bathe him tonight and he did swell. However, I feel like his fur is dreading/tangling. I have been combing him nonstop and taking out any tangles, but it seems to be no use. He doesn't appear to be in any pain when I detangle a strand, as he is preoccupied by his post-bath toy. Will the tangles go away on their own? Is their a doggy conditioner I should be investing in?", "summary": "washed lhasa apso for first time tonight and no matter how much I comb his hair keeps tangling. Am I doing something wrong? Are there products I should purchase?"} {"id": "t3_4gx5gx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [30M] fianc\u00e9s [30F] sister [27F] is throwing us a wedding shower before our wedding. My mom thinks we are doing this to get more gifts. Are we wrong to have a party like this?", "post": "We are getting married in September and my fianc\u00e9s sister wants to throw a wedding shower for both of us. She is planning everything with the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Everyone seems to be on board and excited. My mom says we are being greedy by throwing this party. She saw the evite on my brothers computer and saw that registry information was on the invite. She thinks the only reason we are having the party is so we can get gifts for the party and the wedding. That is not the case. Are these kinds of parties common before a wedding?", "summary": "fianc\u00e9s sister is throwing a wedding shower for us. My mom thinks we are doing it to squeeze extra gifts out of people"} {"id": "t3_24tylw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I talk to my (25m) gf (23f) about her poorly trained, creepily annoying dog and how he doesn't allow us to have personal time at her place (where we spend the majority of our time)?", "post": "Seriously. We can't lay on the couch without him throwing a temper tantrum and constantly whining. If he isn't whining he is sitting a foot away staring. And staring. And staring. If he doesn't get attention then he goes to the foot of the couch and hops on the end table and stares. Then he starts barking incessantly. He is only getting worse and she keeps allowing his terrible behavior. 1. This is a gigantic turn off to me. 2. This is really annoying. When I stay over he has to sleep in the bed. Whatever, but we can't have sex without him barking. We can't shut him out of the room without him barking and annoying her roommate. I like this girl a lot and I've made progress with the dog over a weekend, but when I go back next his behavior goes right back to what it is because she's allowing it to continue. \n\nI don't want her to get rid of the dog or anything. In fact, I rather like it, when he isn't being an annoying little shit head. Which is frequently. I'm not sure if this belongs here or in /r/dogs, but how do I go about communicating to her that I'm not okay with her dog being this poorly trained? I know it isn't the dog's fault and I'd never ask her to get rid of it, but I'm not going to continue this relationship if the dog is going to keep us from spending quality time together when I stay at her place. I'd like to open a dialogue between us about how we can go about training the dog. Is this okay to do or should I just move on since it bothers me this much? \n\n \nSide note: Staying at my place more frequently is not an option. Sadly. Also, I have to be honest, this is kind of a last straw sort of thing as we've had some fairly serious issues that I should have broken up with her over; instead, I chose to stay with her and work through things. I like this girl a lot, and want to fix this issue as well.", "summary": "My gf's dog is super annoying and doesn't allow us to be together or do anything remotely intimate when I'm there. The jealous bastard."} {"id": "t3_2bkjmq", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "God Damn It: A Textual Interpretive Dance", "post": "Noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise. \n\nAnd then all the doors close and the lights turn off. And finally there is a period of time where there is quiet, an opportunity for peace. Wouldn't that be nice? It's a shame, because this is when I'm supposed to be sleeping. *Recharging my batteries* so I can get up early and join in tomorrow. But despite being immersed in nonsense, I've kept some of my wits. So I think, *fuck that*. If there is going to be a break from noise, I'm going to experience it while I'm conscious. I'm going to incorporate at least a *por*tion of my waking life into silence. So I take a goddamn walk. It doesn't matter where, I've got a backpack, and a notebook, and some god damn glowsticks I picked up at the 99cent store. It's going to be great. Between the mental fits, at least.\n\nThere is no reasoning with noise. I don't have the energy to care to explain why. Though it is interesting, in a certain light. Reason requires a connection. A common ground. You can't connect with a clashing cymbal. Maybe you could in a esoterically spiritual, Fibonacci sequence fractal-tone sort of way. In a foreign language. But then you've disconnected from your own rationality. \n\nIt's like, you've got a tree in England, which is your mind, and I've got my mind tree in Delaware. And these mind trees are capable of connecting to each other, like in Avator or something, so I uproot my mind tree and sail it to England, to try to connect with you on your own turf. Some foreign place I know nothing about. Well, I don't live there, so I eventually sail my mind tree back to Delaware and as I get closer to my own home, everything foreign deteriorates in the new atmosphere, and I'm back from my spiritual trip with nothing to show for and no progress made. The", "summary": "of this paragraph would be: I tried to explain why you can't connect with noise, but fuck it, just trust me."} {"id": "t3_32wxs2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (21F) flatmate (20F) and I, have a lot of issues to sort out.", "post": "I share a house with her Jane (lived with her for 8 months, 4 more months to go), my boyfriend John (together for 1 year, 8 months. Lived together for just as long) and another flatmate Rob (8 Months). \n\nIn the freezer, where a total of 4 shelves are, she has 2 shelves to herself. the rest 2 are shared by 3 people. Today jane stuffed a bunch of her things in one of the shelves that was ours. I have told her so many times not to do so and she still did it, when I knocked on her room and came in she said \"did I say come in?\",\n\n I went to the kitchen again and she even moved my weighting scale to put her vegetables on the top drawer. She is driving me nuts and I am upset. \n\nI think the stress of exams + her is getting to me and I dont know what to do about it. It is also negatively affecting my OCD. I really need help.\n\nNote: John and I agree she needs to move her stuff. Rob has a crush on Jane and refuses to be a part of this shit and I dont know what to do about it.", "summary": "flatmate moves my belongings and take up too much space in the freezer. I need advice on how to handle it."} {"id": "t3_2sg3go", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend aka wifey (31F) and I (23M) has been in a 11 month relationship. She has lied, cheated, and keeps stealing from me. I feel so hurt today. Please help a fellow redditor as I'm not sure what to do with this relationship :'(", "post": "I'm hurting so bad right now and am very disappointed at Lauren. Today she stole some of my prescription (again) today. As far as we have been in this relationship, she is very opportunistic when she steals from me e.g. Money, my prescription medications, etc. At this point, I have to hide most of my valuables from her. \n\nFrom the cheating standpoint; Lauren has slept with her ex, RJ, early on in our relationship. RJ and Lauren have been dating for 12 years with an 11 year old daughter, Annie. Thing is, she doesn't generally like women and prefers having guys as friends. Also she keeps in touch with former flings post break up. I always find out or \"catch her\" after the fact as she isn't forthcoming to me. She expresses remorse to me long after an argument breaks out from this. This includes flirt text through FB, phone, pics sent, etc. \nWhat hurts me is that she tries to cover up/lie her way out of it or somehow turns it around to me. \n\nI haven't given anything less than the best of me, all of me, in this relationship. I support her and her daughter and have sacrificed alot to keep/maintain this relationship. I'm not saying I'm perfect or a saint either. I harbor these trust issues inside of me because of her past actions. However, I can proudly say I never have done anything remotely close to what she has done to me. In a way, I see myself healing her heart from her past and always push her to do the right thing and be the best she can be. \n\nTwo question(s) that concerns me:\n\n1) How should I approach her with the stealing situation? \n\n2) Is this relationship too toxic to even save?", "summary": "Girlfriend, lies, steals, cheats on me. How to approach her opportunistic stealing habit and/or is this relationship too toxic to stay in? "} {"id": "t3_1uqrm1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Just graduated college [23F] and having doubts about moving to another state for my boyfriend [26M].", "post": "We just recently got back together - I've posted about the breakup with this throwaway account a few months back. \n\nAfter a three month break-up and dealing with a loss of trust (he initiated the breakup), I'm having such a hard time feeling confident about relocating for him. I love him with my entire heart and I want it to work, but all of the romance between us has gone completely out the window. Once he won me back, he has gone back to being \"comfortable\". A huge part of me feels like I can't risk moving my entire life for him to have my heart broken again. On the other hand, long-distance will not work for us.\n\nWhat should I do?/What would you do?", "summary": "I'm in love with my boyfriend but he has hurt me in the recent past. Romance seems non-existent and I'm having doubts about moving for him."} {"id": "t3_1jla1k", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Anyone else have a fear of hearing passive aggressive, back-handed comments? What do you do to cope besides ignoring it or accepting that \"the world is sh*t\"?", "post": "Can you give your experience of hearing questions or comments put in a passive aggressive way? (Where the person did so assuming you would not understand, thinking they could get away with it for their own satisfaction to perhaps make you look dumb or boost their ego?)\n\nAny response is great but if I'm looking for specifics, I guess I want to hear from a like-minded realist who has possibly been jaded by overly sensitive people, holds back almost all wit, has to force out being nice and does a decent job at it, does not easily set up for another person to reply in a nasty passive aggressive manner, and has an exceptional sense of social behavior. And when hearing passive-aggressive replies, sometimes provides a mirror-like dose of their medicine, maybe more, where the original aggressor cannot find the words to come back, can not initiate a physical fight due to an ego that's burnt to a crisp, and walks away with their tail between their legs 100% of the time.", "summary": "I have a difficult time accepting passive aggressive, back-handed comments, and wish to find out how others cope with them."} {"id": "t3_3z4ht8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [25F] get over what my ex bf [26M] did?", "post": "Background: I have been with my ex bf for almost 5 years. Throughout this time, he has pretty much done everything to betray me that you can imagine. I've caught him cheating on me with 7 different women. He once dumped me two days after my dad passed away. He's been physically abusive to me on several occasions (which I reported, but nothing was ever done, as he didn't \"hurt me enough\"). \n\nMost recently (and shockingly the final straw) occurred over the last few days. He forgot my birthday (which was at the end of December). On NY eve, he texted me saying he fell asleep, and thats why he ignored me that evening. This AM, he sent me a picture (by mistake) of him and another girl taking a nice selfie together- obviously from last night.\n\nHe told me that he had been seeing this girl for six months. He had introduced her to his parents as his gf. I begged him for months to have me over for dinner with his parents, but he said no, as I was \"a huge bitch who his parents hated\". He would fuck her and then come and sleep in my bed. Everything i wanted from him- to be involved with his family, to hold hands, to take pics together, to go on actual dates- he did with her. she is significantly heavier than me- apparently his dick gets hard for anything who is willing to fuck him.", "summary": "I do not want to continue in a relationship with him. But I am completely filled with anger. How do I move on from this, and not let it affect future relationships?"} {"id": "t3_2f9c2o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20F] 6 months,she has been with 10 other sexual partners", "post": "I met a really great girls. She is nice, has a really good personality and really likes me. We have a lot in common. We have very similar interests.\n\n I am a little embarrassed to say this, but i lost my virginity to this girl. However, a few nights ago she told me that she has been with 10 guys and she lost her virginity as a young teen. I really like this girl, but i cant help but feel weird about that fact. I hate that i feel like that because i should only care about our future and that shes with me now. Every time i think about it i just get this awful feeling and i keep thinking about it and i just get sad and wonder if i should be with her. \n\nThe worst part is that she is self conscious about that part of her and i dont want to make her feel bad. Is there a way to get over this or is this a normal feeling?", "summary": "My new girlfriend has had a lot of sex partners and i feel bad about it. Is this normal, how can i get over this?"} {"id": "t3_2nbtxm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 F] ruined a relationship with my SO [20 M]of 2 years due to depression, Is it salvageable?", "post": "Hi, made a throw away account and I never post much on reddit so sorry for terrible formatting! \n\nI and Steven had been together for 2 years and in august we moved in together in a new city to start our studies. It was going smoothly due to us being able to communicate well together and Steven is a very caring person and I appreciate him very much for all he's done to me. \n\nAbout 2 months ago I got depressed and it was very taxing on my studies and on Stevens mental state, which all culminated into a fight and him eventually calling it over the day after. It was hard 3 days for us but we managed to patch up and remain friends. I still have trouble sleeping at night and I envy him for being able to let go so easily (heck, he even said he loved me the day before the break-up!). \n\nI know its very naive of me for hoping we can get back together, but for some reason I can't let it go \u2013 he has been such a wonderful partner and I feel so awful for steering this train into the wreck it became and I wish I could have stopped it sooner. But what's done is done, and it's a painful and very necessary reminder that I must keep myself in check so I don't hurt others.\nWe started goofing around as friends again and we even play video games together and generally make sure to eat together, but we rarely talk on an emotional level.\n\nWe will live together for about a month more, and it seems stupid, but is he able to love me again? And if so, how do I manage to do that?\nWhat I can hope for right now is to remain good friends and maybe somewhere down the line, may it be months or years, I can have my second chance. I just don't want to hope too much, however ): There should be room for moving on, too\u2026", "summary": "Depression hit me, SO took it hard and broke up, we still hang out and I have 1 month to make him consider me as a potential partner again."} {"id": "t3_1uqyqa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (21M) trying to figure out what pace to set with her (20F).", "post": "Over the Christmas break, I asked out a coworker who I've really grown to like. The first date wasn't bad, but wasn't amazing either. However, the second date, two weeks later, went really well, and she said she was open to the idea of another date. \n\nBecause I'm really interested in her, I want to go out with her again this weekend (our last date was on Friday), but a couple people, including my sister, say that I might be going a little bit too quickly and I should maybe wait another week, if not two. Since we are both college students and have different days off, the weekend would be our only time to go out without planning ahead by at least a week. \n\nA week in between doesn't feel like too short of a time to me, but I'm still not sure how much she may or may not be interested in me, or what type of relationship she might be looking for. I'm interested in her enough that I'm feeling just a little bit impatient and don't want to wait too long before asking her out again. I also despise playing mind games, so that rationale for waiting just doesn't seem compelling to me. \n\nWith all that said, I don't want to go too fast with this, because I know (through the work grapevine) that the last guy who she liked killed his chance with a mixture of moving a little fast and getting ahead of himself and thinking they were basically a couple after two dates (the second half of this seems to have been a bigger factor than the first half).\n\nWhat would you recommend doing? I see her four days a week with work, but we don't really get to interact for more than five or maybe ten minutes each time. Should I wait another week so that she doesn't feel like I'm coming on too strong? Or is it not really a big deal, and I can go for it? How do I wait without driving myself crazy or psyching myself out? Thanks for any input.", "summary": "I'm trying to figure out how long to wait in between the second and third dates, and avoid moving too fast. How long should I wait?"} {"id": "t3_2izouj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21M] gift giving doesn't come naturally, needing advice on what is appropriate for gf [20F] of 8 months", "post": "Gift-giving isn't something that comes to me naturally, so in past relationships I've been guilty of overlooking/underthinking this important part of being a boyfriend. \n\nI'm looking for advice on what would be appropriate to get my girlfriend for Christmas (I'm trying to think ahead because in the past I haven't!). I know that ultimately it depends on the unique girl/situation, but maybe y'all could help me with guidelines?\n\nSome particulars about the relationship - she and I are both college students, we're serious (talking about our future, have said 'I love you', etc.), but definitely independent and still learning about one another. I have a fairly good income for a student and would be comfortable spending up to around $300 on a gift. I want to get her something that says 'we're serious and I really care about you' but without saying 'you're mine forever and don't forget it'. You know what I mean? She's pretty girly - likes clothes and jewelry and stuff.\n\nAgain, I know that this all comes down to the particulars of the relationship, but as someone without much experience with stuff I could really use some help with examples/guidelines about what is appropriate.\n\nThanks!", "summary": "Not sure how to give gifts, looking for advice on where to start/what is normal and appropriate to give a serious gf of 8 months."} {"id": "t3_2bou6t", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Back Door Roth IRA", "post": "I've been reading about investments and Roth IRAs sounded interesting. I can afford the maximum contribution on what I make part time. However, I looked at the income maximums. Because I live in NYC and am planning to go into a STEM career (something programming related, probably won't get an MS though), I know that I have a greater chance than others to be fortunate enough to pass the income limit sometime in my lifetime. Plus, a Roth IRA can be maintained until I'm 70, and a lot can happen in that time.\n\nThe income limit for married partners is higher, but I have no desire to get legally married regardless of whether I have an SO or not, and from how I understand it, the taxes only help if one partner makes significantly less than the other. Again, considering my occupation and even my current SO, I'll likely be making around the same amount as my SO, though obviously I can't be sure.\n\nI also heard about back door Roth IRAs and tried to read about them but the jargon confuses me and I don't know if there are notable differences between it and a normal Roth IRA.\n\nFor record, I'm still in undergrad, so yeah, I'm jumping the gun a bit on everything.\n\nSo", "summary": "should I start with a Back Door Roth IRA or start with a normal one then go to a back door one if I need it? What are the real differences, if any, between a Back Door one and a Roth IRA?"} {"id": "t3_4mw66r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "BF [25M] of 9 months refuses to be in photos with me [25F]", "post": "(I'm not actually a redditor, but my friend recommended using her account to post about my issue...)\n\nI have been seeing Daniel for about 9 months and things have been awesome. We have a lot in common, and it's always a great time when we're together. Even though it hasn't quite reached a year yet, I see things going well in the future. However, one incident from about 6 weeks ago is still bothering me and I don't know if I should bring it up, or even how.\n\nA little bit of context: Like most people my age, I'm on social media. But it also isn't that big of a deal to me & I don't spend that much time obsessing over it or posting too much. For example, if I'm on vacation, I'll post a photo or two with friends, but not necessarily document every moment for everyone. I much prefer to keep my personal life private, and especially don't post about my relationship. Daniel isn't hugely into social media either, aside from snapchat where he posts to \"his story\" pretty frequently.\n\nIn April, Daniel & I went to a local music festival together featuring a bunch of our favorite artists. I was dancing and having a good time, and pulled out my phone to take a video selfie of me dancing. Daniel was dancing behind me, and you would've thought he hit the dab with how fast he moved his face out of the frame. I was surprised, and realized that after all this time we haven't taken any photos or videos together.\n\nI'm about 99% sure that it isn't an issue of him having a side-chick or whatever. Our relationship isn't a secret, and I've spent plenty of time with his friends. This isn't even about posting it to Instagram and letting the world know about my relationship. The fact that he doesn't want to have any documentation of our relationship seems like a red flag. And frankly, it hurts.", "summary": "BF of 9 months jumped out of the frame when I was taking a video, and we've never taken a video or pic together. Is this worth bringing up, and if so, how do I go about it without sounding insecure?"} {"id": "t3_1kez9t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Relationships] Are me[19M] and my SO[18F] falling out of love? How do we stay in love?", "post": "My SO and I started dating last October, in College, and things went...well absolutely wonderfully! She's exactly what I want in a person, and more! We had nearly everything in common and we fell in love like that. We were crazy for each other, and spent tons of time together. \n\nWe spent last year together, happy and pretty carefree. Then the summer came. We live in the same state, but over 100 miles apart. We knew it was coming, and we knew distance would be tough. But we thought we would be different, that we'd stay in love.\n\nAnd we did, for the most part. When I came and visited, she admitted that she didn't feel as strongly for me as she did when we were together. I felt the same, and we supposed that was to be expected from spending so much time apart.\n\nFor the two and a half months of summer, our lives pretty well diverged. I was working my office job while she was singing in a musical. She went to parties while I woke up at 5 every day. \n\nBut we survived the summer, and we're back at school now. It's been a little less than a week. But it's not the same. We are spending time together again (as much time as marching band camp allows), but neither of us is falling as deeply in love as we'd hoped. Once band camp finishes, classes will start, and we're worried that we'll just drift even further apart after that...\n\nSo now we're scared. Both of us still love each other, both of us still want to be together. We don't want what we have to end. Have we just fallen completely out of love? What can we do to get it back?", "summary": "SO and I fell madly in love last year, spent the summer very far apart and were less in love. Now that we're together again, we still don't feel the same as before."} {"id": "t3_tpg35", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend has trust issues, can I salvage us?", "post": "My girlfriend (22F) has trust issues with me (25M), which I think stems from her having an immature way of looking at things. She looks at our issues as a her-versus-me problem rather than a relationship problem like I do.\n\nTo give an example, a long time ago we were out at a bar and she walked off with a strange guy. At the time I considered it a black and white relationship killer, but she explained herself and I took her word for it. I've forgiven and forgotten. She even makes a nice gesture to show she cares about regaining my trust by cutting off contact with her friend she walked off with.\n\nContrast this with an example of something I've done that pissed her off. We are out and some lady asks for directions, I lean forward to see around the corner and point, and my girlfriend takes this as me leaning in closer to her because I want her. I explain myself but she doesn't believe me, practically calling me a liar, prodding me to \"admit it\", telling me I broke her trust, this is why she has trust issues and so on. Telling me that I should know not to do that, that it's common sense, that other people wouldn't treat her like this. \n\nShe completely ignores my point of view, and implies I'm lying constantly. We've had a big talk, and she sees it as something I'm doing wrong, that if I loved her I would know how to behave. I see it as a fundamental lack of trust and/or communication on her part. I would love to say things have gotten better over time (we have been going out 5 months) but it seems to not be improving noticeably.\n\nAnd then there's marriage. She really wants to marry me (when she doesn't want to break up with me). She thinks marriage will improve things between us because I will prove my commitment to her. However I think that things I do to prove my commitment to her, like moving in with her, go unnoticed, and that marriage isn't going to change anything. I think that she will be fine for a month after we get engaged then the trust issues will creep back in, and worse. It needs to be fixed before we get married.", "summary": "I feel like my girlfriend's lack of trust is not improving, and when I tell her this she is defensive, blames it on me, calls me a liar and accuses me of things I haven't done or thought."} {"id": "t3_2bv0sr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28F] with my boyfriend [27m] of 10 years are having problems.", "post": "I have been with my bf for 10 years and he finally proposed! Long story short he turned into a different person and we broke up. \n\nWe got back together and we were working through things but still arguing constantly. Then I messed up and although we never split we were pretty close to it.\n\nLots more arguing ensued and a lot of trying to score points on who hurt the other more started. I spoke to him a few days ago and said we couldn't do that to each other anymore and that we had to move past it and not cast things up anymore. He agreed and said he wants to be with me and wants to make it work.\n\nThere in lies my problem. I spent the last 10 years building a life and a future with him and then it was gone. I do not feel secure just now and he says he wants to be with me. I want more than anything to believe him but I keep getting paranoid.", "summary": "he messed up we broke up, got back together I messed up, didn't break up but I don't know how to feel secure in the relationship anymore."} {"id": "t3_44qq2e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "So I [18 M] found out my soon to be [19 F] girlfriend so going to be moving six hours away from me.", "post": "So just to get started, no we arent dating yet. I was planning on asking her friday night if she would be interested being my valentine. \n\nWe've been texting each other for around three weeks now. I cant get her off my mind, shes all I think about and its effecting my school work. The thing is; shes moving out of state to go to a different college, so even if I do ask her out now, id only have 3-4 months with her to bond.\n\nI have no idea what to do reddit, we're going to a basketball game friday night, and technically that will be our first \"date\" if you can even call it that. Should I ask her to go see a movie or something before valentine's?", "summary": "Me and a girl have been talking for weeks and I felt like we have everything in common, but shes moving out of state to go to a different college."} {"id": "t3_39vmb3", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "Sick cat should I be worried?", "post": "Hi so my cat Ellie May started out yesterday as pretty lethargic and seemed to be doing a fair bit of sleeping actually found her sleeping on the stairs yesterday which is out of character for her. She normally sleeps on our bed or at the top of the stairs behind the banister where the dog isn't allowed. This morning after I let her outside so she could go visit the neighbour I found a spot where she threw up at some point after we went to bed. The neighbour came over a while later and said that Ellie was acting weird and throwing up and in pain. So I took her to the vet after that cause I was worried and they did an x-ray and took some blood x-ray came back clean and the blood won't be analysed till sometime tomorrow. They gave her some shots and gave me some pills for her tomorrow. And now tonight I found her sleeping/hiding behind out bedroom door and moved her to the bed and she has gone back into hiding under the bed. Am I over reacting or should I be worried and take her back to the pet hospital?", "summary": "Sick cat took her to the vet got sent home after a few shots and she seems much more lethargic and acting more out of character."} {"id": "t3_48n8qi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] with my husband [23M] of 6 months, how do I tell him I want my own bank account?", "post": "OK so I'll be using a throwaway since I got my husband hooked on Reddit and I don't want him to know my main account.\n\nWe have been married for 6 months but we dated for years. My husband comes from an extremely religious background and we were not able to move in together until we got married. I know /r/relationships absolutely hates this but I had to respect my husband's religious beliefs. \n\nWell, when we got married, we got joint bank accounts. We make the exact same amount of money and get paid at the same time as we work for the same company. I was extremely irresponsible with money when I was right out of high school so my husband handles most of the bills.\n\nWell, my husband has a job on the side and the money that he makes from that he puts in to a separate savings account. I don't really have a problem with this as it's his money and he is able to do with it what he wants.\n\nThe only problem is that sometimes I would like to buy something for myself, like makeup, or a new chew toy for my dog, and my husband gets extremely upset. I don't have money separate from the joint account since I only have one job. So if I want to make a purchase, I have to use our joint account. I really don't like having to \"ask permission\" to spend my own money. And let me make this clear - I don't go crazy and buy things I don't need. I also try and use coupons in combination of shopping while items are on sale. I am *very* frugal compared to how I was when I was younger.\n\nSo, I would like to talk to my husband to let him know that I want to go back to having our own bank accounts. I know he'll be upset, so I was just wondering if anyone could help me. What should I say? Are there any specific points I should bring up? My sister, who has been married for a long time, said that her and her husband had problems when they had a joint bank account and the issues got much better when they went back to having their own accounts.", "summary": "Husband and I have a joint bank account that is causing problems. How can I talk to him about getting separate accounts?"} {"id": "t3_395qma", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [M26] and I [F24] are about to be long-distance and I'm scared of our future.", "post": "So I have been dating my current boyfriend for a year and a half and we are about to be long distance (3 hours away) starting mid-july. The basic plan is to be long distance until he graduates with his PhD sometime next year (probably in May). Now, I currently have a job back home and won't be making much (27k) and will be living with my parents. I have a MA degree, but I am currently trying to enter a field unrelated to that degree. Now, onee my boyfriend graduates, he said he would most likely want to get a job in St. Louis or Kansas City (a different state than I'm from). Now, I told him I'm fine with moving wherever he gets a job, but he told me yesterday he didn't plan on being engaged until after we lived together. Now, to me, that's super scary to move to a new city where I may have trouble finding a job and then not even being engaged. He also mentioned he is not worried about me finding a job and we'd figure out finances since he will most likely be making enough to cover both of us and he could \"loan\" me the money in the meantime. Now, I'm not sure what that means. \n\nI guess, this is a year from now, but I'm freaking out a bit about the idea of moving to a new state, not engaged, not being able to find a job in my field easily (I'll have a year experience in it at that point but again, the unrelated degree). Do you have any advice? He mentioned that he's serious about us and sees a future with us but also that he is scared to think about committing his whole life with marriage right now.", "summary": "Dating for a year and a half now, about to be long-distance for a year, freaking out about our future if we end up moving to a new state after he gets a job. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_35kl9w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (25f) Painful breakup with boyfriend (25m) of 3+ years.", "post": "Hi reddit. \n\nStill in the shock phase of this as our breakup was just yesterday, but been brewing for a long time. He's in the army and spends a lot of time away, I suffer from depression and being alone is not something I would want to do as a parent and so on, trying to raise kids alone - I'm just not strong enough for that- as the person I am at the moment, anyway. \n\nWe have been together since uni. He's been the longest term boyfriend I've ever had and also the most gentlemanly, charming, generous and patient. \n\nHe says he loves me too and all the evidence supports it. He's always been there for me. At the end of June he's moving a considerably further distance away in the same country, still accessible but with 4 hour journey time. \n\nAnyway, I feel totally stranded as to whether this is t he right thing for us both. I dread regretting him be the one who got away further down the line but I just don't think I'm cut out for military wife life. \n\nAlso any tips on telling friends (they always always ask me how he is any time I speak to them) and cutting off the conversation immediately. I don't want to have to relive telling them 30 odd times.", "summary": "long term relationship, still love each other, breakup because of uncertainty of future, what should I do? And how to tell friends?"} {"id": "t3_qrp32", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Getting threatening messages from Ebay buyer, help?", "post": "My dad sold a Kindle Cover for roughly 15 bucks a while ago. It was the old, slightly defected one that sometimes causes the Kindle to turn off/lose battery. In his description, he copied some description of the item of some other site and the description turned out to be that of the new Kindle cover. So this guy buys it, sends it to his friend in Russia. Guy in Russia finds out that it's the old cover, starts complaining about how the item description is false (ok, our fault) and he wants a full compensation for the item and the shipping it cost him to send it to Russia, along with all the fees and refuses to ship the cover back, instead sending images proving that he destroyed it. He finds out we are Russian-speakers as well, starts sending us non-stop emails to our private emails. After some reluctance(we used the cover, it's definitely usable), my dad pays refunds the item. Apparently, my dad missed $1.04 in some extra fees. THIS TIME HE FINDS OUR PRIVATE HOME NUMBER AND CALLS US DIRECTLY. We did not give him our number or any permission to contact us through that number. So my dad pays him the $1.04, but PayPal took off 30 cents, and the guy only got 80 cents. This is the GOOD PART: He sends us an email threatening to send messages describing our \"wrong-doings\" to ALL OUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS AND REAL LIFE NEIGHBORS. What should we do?", "summary": "Guy from Russia buys Kindle cover, not what he wanted, we refund him, miss 24cents, he's threatening to send our facebook friends and real life neighbors a report of our \"wrongdoings\""} {"id": "t3_34pp31", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU and purchased the wrong channel", "post": "Not a throwaway account cause I'm not super embarassed.\n\n\u00a0\n\nObligatory \"this didn't happen today\" but yesterday my buddy was hyping up this big \"Fight of the Century\" thing that was supposed to be going down. Like any good friend, I figured I'd front the bill on the channel and he could just pay me back for it later.\n \n\u00a0\n\nWe must have got the wrong channel though! Don't get me wrong, even though my friend got super depressed I thought it was pretty cool watching some guy run a Nascar-styled marathon, going lap for lap in what had to be the smallest track I've ever seen. They even had to put up ropes to keep the guy in the ring as he raced around! Must have not been enough excitement for regulars though, because believe it or not there was also another guy who just kind of kept punching the runner. To his credit the runner just kept blocking and running - I mean occasionally he threw a punch because who wouldn't ya know? - until he had completed so many laps I'd lost count. I did find it silly that they had to have judges at the end to declare him the winner though, I mean, he **was** the only one running the marathon...\n\n\u00a0\n\nAnyway! Seems my bud didn't find this as cool as I did, since he just sat there with a look of disappointment and kept shaking his head. I'm thinking next time I will have to be way more careful buying stuff on the TV... I doubt my bud is going to pay me back after such a screwup.", "summary": "Must have bought the wrong channel. Even though I found it kind of cool, I don't think my friend will be paying me back for it."} {"id": "t3_1v3e3r", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "25/M (bi) Am I friend-zoning my co-worker?", "post": "So, I am bi, but I'm not necessarily out to everyone. If someone asks me, I'll tell them or confirm it, but not many people ask that kind of thing so not many people know.\n\nMy co-worker found my okcupid profile, and he is bi too, and he completely changed the instant he found out. He started inviting me over to his house, asking me what I'm doing after work, being super touchy at work, making or bringing me presents, etc. Problem is, I'm not interested, he does coke and drinks way too much. If those two things didn't happen, I might have considered it, but because of that I think of him as just a good friend. \n\nThis is where I have my question: My roommate says that by not telling my co-worker exactly where he stands I'm friend-zoning him. In order for our friendship to continue I have to sit him down, acknowledge that he's into me, tell him I'm not into him, maybe even tell him why, and then the friendship can continue.\n\nI say fuck that two ways to Sunday, people aren't stupid, if this guy can't pick up the multiple MULTIPLE hints that I've dropped that I'm not into him, that's his fucking problem, not mine. If I was down to bone, we would have boned down by now, or at the very least gone on some obvious dates. Though I feel that all communication is excellent, the above communication just sounds torturous and horrible for both parties. Who is right?", "summary": "Co-worker wants to bone, I don't want to bone, Roommate says I'm friend-zoning, I say friend-zoning is fucking bullshit."} {"id": "t3_3h26dt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [M23] gf [F22] is going on a day trip with a male coworker, I trust her but I'm still bothered by it. Have you been in a situation like this with your SO? What do you do?", "post": "My gf is working abroad right now. I trust my gf 100% not to do anything. I'm just bothered, almost jealous, that she is going with this male coworker. \n\nShe has been to a few new cities and is exploring the surrounding areas. She was supposed to go on an overnight trip with a group but most of them bailed. So her and this coworker plan to do a day trip to a different city. \n\nShe asked me and I said its fine, I trust her after all. But in reality, I'm bothered by this. I just don't want to become a jealous, controlling partner that restricts her freedom. I have a feeling I'm just really paranoid/self conscious that I get jealous. Is this correct? \n\nI should add that this particular male coworker has invited her out to activities before (one on one).\n\nHave you been in a situation like this before? How did you handle it? What do you think I should do?", "summary": "gf is going on a day trip with a male coworker. I'm jealous and don't think I should be. Looking for insight on how to properly handle this situation."} {"id": "t3_112rta", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How can I give my Gf [F/19] space and make her regret asking me [M/20]", "post": "Apologies beforehand if this is an immature question.\n\nSo my gf [19] (been together for almost 3 years), her sister [18], a friend [F/20] and me [20] are going to a music festival. I have this problem that whenever we go to places, I'm always on top of her, as in almost glued to her. She asked me if I can giver her space tomorrow so she can hang out with her sister and her friend and I said of course, because that's what a good bf does right? \n\nAnyways, I do plan on giving her space but I want to know if there is a way to make her regret saying that so she can be stuck on me. It is a little hard to put into words but I just want her to no give me space, basically. Does the \"avoid her\" trick work in this situation? I just want her to be annoying and glued to me. Apologies beforehand if this is an immature question.", "summary": "After asking for her space, I want my gf to regret it and stay next to me, how can I accomplish this?"} {"id": "t3_18q3cv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Gf (18) and I (18) are scared religion may come between us.", "post": "(We've been together for almost a year). We've been in a long distance relationship since the start of this school year and things have been going even better than we had expected. Her school has a very active Jewish community while mine is much smaller. She has been actively Jewish her entire life and has become even more so at school. I was raised a similar way and have also become more active, just not to the same degree. We're both afraid that our differing degrees of observance will come between us in the long run, even though we have each on separate occasions expressed our concerns and that we want to make it work. Should I be concerned? Is there anyone else who has had a similar experience with advice? Thanks!", "summary": "Gf and I individually worried religion will come between us. Is it good that we both clearly care or bad that it may become an issue?"} {"id": "t3_235785", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my second mom/aunt [51F]- she's not coping with stress and is spiralling downward. What do I do?", "post": "My aunt's house flooded in January and ruined some recent, expensive kitchen renovations. She was very upset at the time (reasonable) but the insurance company is fixing everything and the repairs are well underway (it should be back to normal in a month). \n\nMy aunt however, seems to be having a hard time moving on from this incident. We used to talk on the phone everyday but I've since had to back off. She won't talk about anything else other than her house and how she's so depressed about it. She keeps asking \"why do bad things happen to good people\"- it's like someone died. She's stress eating and stopped exercising. She sits at home all day and thinks about her house (she hasn't worked for 15 years despite being highly educated). She told me she has nightmares about her kitchen. \n\nShe's usually upset about something (i.e. she's always complaining she's gained twenty five pounds and has very low self esteem). I feel that she's gotten a lot worse in the last few months though. \n\nMy family is VERY non-confrontational and my mom/other aunt/sister don't think its appropriate to talk to her about it. Plus, my aunt doesn't have a great history of dealing with criticism/suggestions about her life.\n\nI'm worried about her and I want her to feel better. She always says I'm her \"go to person\" but I can't deal with all of her stress plus my own. I tried to be understanding at first but after three months it was too much. I don't want to sacrifice our relationship but something needs to change. She lives far away from me so I can't talk to her in person. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "My aunt is having a hard time moving on from a stressful experience and is spiralling downward. Historically she does not take advice well so how do I deal with this/help her deal with this without sacrificing our relationship?"} {"id": "t3_24o1y0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "in a relationship someone who suffers from depression. putting stess on my happiness. is this a healthy relationship?", "post": "I (M17) am in a relationship with my GF (F17). We have been dating for 2 years. Over time her emtional and mental issues have become more apparent. She has horrible self confidence issues, horrible mother/daughter relationship, and lots of other Type-A depression symptoms. Obviously this puts stress on me. I try to make her happy, tell her she beautiful, everything you can do. And none of it helps. She is very unloving and self centered concerning her own issues.\nDESPITE all of this: I love her. I really do. When she is happy she is amazing. \nAnd I want to help and be there for her more than anything.\n\nThe question is: is it healthy for me to be in a relationship with a person who suffers from depression?", "summary": "When it gets down to it, is it Healthy to be in a relationship with someone who suffers from depression( especially at the age of 17). Even if you are in love, where do you draw the line?"} {"id": "t3_gw4vr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm black, she's white (from Europe)... parents are slightly racist. What do I do?", "post": "So I've been talking to a girl (Eastern European)for about three months now and we're both 19. It's starting to get rather serious but before we started talking she warned me that her parents (father especially) would disapprove of her dating outside her ethnicity. She also said that she'd probably have to keep it (the relationship) a secret from her parents. It didn't really phase me at the time because of how early the stage of the \"relationship\" between the two of us was, how ever now it is really bugging me. I think the only thing preventing me from asking her out is the situation with her parents. I'm worried that if I do start dating her, I wouldn't want it to be a secret from her parents. But on the other hand I wouldn't know how to go about meeting them knowing that they would disapprove of me anyways.", "summary": "Both 19, I'm black & she is white. Aren't dating but are seriously talking, but her parents are racist and would disapprove of me. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_4je3dv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [20 F] for 3 years, I found LSD with him, and he claims he is \"holding it for a friend\"", "post": "Me and my boyfriend tell each other literally everything, or so I thought up until today. \n\nSo because I'm going through finals right now, I asked my boyfriend if I could have some of the Adderral that he left at his house before we went back to school (he goes to university about an hour away and lives at an apartment near campus). No problem, he said he would have his sister drop one off at my house. She brings it and I go inside, and I notice inside the small baggie along with the Adderral pill, is a very small white square. I knew it was some kind of drug but I wasn't sure which. \n\nI called my boyfriend and asked him what it was. He laughed nervously and told me not to take it. As I tried to pry, he just kept telling me not to take it. Finally he admitted that it was acid, and that he is holding it for his friend. I just don't buy it. That is literally the oldest excuse in the book when it comes to drugs. Why would your friend need you to hold LSD for him? When I told him I'm going to throw it away because I don't want acid in my house, he got upset and told me not to. \n\nI'm just so upset that it is possible he is doing these types of drugs and not even telling me. He has asked me before what I would think if he took acid or mushrooms, and I told him that while I am not a fan (yes I know I'm a prude) I would not stop him. I would just like to know that he is doing it and I want to be assured that he is in a safe environment. \n\nHe didn't even care that I was audibly upset when he hung up. Am I overreacting?\n\nThank you!", "summary": "Accidentally found LSD that came from my boyfriend, he claims he is holding it for a friend and I don't believe him."} {"id": "t3_1u5kef", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [22/M] want to tell my SO [23/F] that i love her and might have a golden opportunity to prove it to her.", "post": "We've been dating for about 11 months now and been friends for 18. She accidentally told me that she loved me a few weeks ago while having sex and i wasnt sure i was ready to repeat it back to her. All i said was \"thanks sweetie, that means alot to me\". I could tell she was expecting a different response but didnt know how to fix it. She is currently visiting her family and we will be reunited next week (total of 2 weeks without physical contact). I want to make her feel special and tell her that i love her. I am planning on cooking dinner before i leave to the airport so that it is ready when we get back. I am going to leave rose petals from the front door to the kitchen to the bedroom. And in her bed i am going to leave a tiny babydoll set i purchased that i think she will enjoy. I want to have a candle lit dinner at her place, then head to the bedroom for some lovin. I want to tell her that i love her mid coitus. I am not sure if she is going to like it or if it is too cliche. Any advice on this evening?", "summary": "GF and i will be reunited after spending two weeks apart, i have a candlelit dinner, roses, and sexy lingerie planned for our evening. Advice?"} {"id": "t3_4xo4i3", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Guilt about losing weight again after gaining most the weight I lost a couple years ago back", "post": "Hello again everyone, I was wondering if anyone has had the guilt that comes with losing weight again after having lost a bunch before only to gain half it back. My story is in 2013 I went from 285 to 215 and then in 2014 I moved in with my then girlfriend, started my career, and finally got married which I ended up putting my diet on the back burner during all that time which eventually led me back into binge eating habits. I got to 256 before I finally saw a picture of me and was disgusted at myself. I'm back on track, lost 21lbs but I feel some guilt like if I tell someone I've lost weight, in my head I'm thinking \"I mean I lost this weight before, just back at it again...\" and while I'm not allowing the guilt to take over and screw up my progress, it just sucks to know that had I kept going I was only 15lbs from my goal weight back then. On the bright side, losing weight again has led to me being more organized in every other aspect in my life from better time management, to even allowing me to focus on studying to further my career. I just want to end off on letting you guys all know that your stories in here are super inspirational, and I come in here at least once a day to keep reading them because it helps to remind me that even at my weakest points, that others have fought much harder battles than I'll ever know. Thanks Loseit community.", "summary": "Lost a bunch of weight in 2013, gained half back over the last 3 years. Feel guilty about having to start over again."} {"id": "t3_4cc5v6", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Has anyone been successful at claiming the entire amount of their premium tax credit that they did not use during 2015?", "post": "I was eligible for a premium tax credit for 2015 but I did not use it because at the time I did not know what it was and just paid the monthly health insurance premium out of pocket. Apparently in order to file my taxes and claim the tax credit I need the 1095-A form. I called the marketplace 2/29 because I had not received anything from them. They told me that they created an escalation and that they will populate it. I waited and waited and did not get anything back so I called again 3/14, They told me that it was not ready and that it can take up to a month. I called today 3/28 and at first told me it has not been a month and then told me that they actually don't know how long it can take after I asked them. Excuse me? how do they not know that? I asked if it will be ready before or at least by April 15th so I can file my taxes and all they kept saying is that they don't know. HOW!???? Then they told me that I can call the IRS and find out what I can do after I asked them that. I'm sorry, but no. They should have those answers readily available to someone in my case. They want to to waste another house of my life to find answers that they should be telling me. I asked them how they can not know all this information? It's not like I have to option to not file my taxes... so I'm just curious to see if someone has been able to successfully claim the premium tax credit that they were eligible for but decided not to use it when filing your taxes this year.", "summary": "Healthcare.gov is a joke. Curious to see if someone was able to claim the premium tax credit that they were eligible for but decided not to use it when filing your taxes this year with a problem. "} {"id": "t3_25t98r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20/F] saw the girl I'm seeing[20/F] go upstairs for platonic cuddling with a guy [20/M] while I stayed downstairs as a third wheel.", "post": "Hello Hello.\n\nThis is my first female-female relationship-esque. We realized we were both into each other at Steve Aoki which led to sleepovers/cuddles, relationship conversations X Y Z. This has been going on for less than a month.\n\nEverything was good (some minor red flags but nothing I can't overlook since a 0.7 can round to the 1) we drove 6 hours together back to our city from our hometown. We held hands, we make out, she tells me I'm beautiful that-- you get the point.\n\nThings got tricky when we were drinking at a mutual friends house last night. 5 people are there except one guy isn't drinking because he has biking in the morning, which led to him going to bed around 1130. Overall the night was going pretty well in my opinion until 1130 when he went to bed and she immediately got dressed into her sleep attire/followed him upstairs for some platonic cuddles. All in the name of me taking her spot to sleep on the couch (?)\n\nSo now I've become this third wheel with our mutual friend/her boyfriend. They know her and I have started a thing, to which they both looked at me when she went upstairs. I didn't have anything to say, she's not my girlfriend.\n\nYet, I felt so hurt.\n\nShe texted me this morning asking if I was sick last night (which I was) and told me that I should have told her because she would have taken care of me... I don't want to complicate this by getting upset about what she did and yet part of me reeeeeallly wants to tell her to go fuck herself.\n\nHow do I proceed homies?", "summary": "The girl I'm seeing leaves me at a mutual friends to go have platonic cuddles with a guy she just met. Then follows up the next day to see how I am."} {"id": "t3_niqkf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Dear reddit, my blog suddenly got a insane pageview boost since last august. They are all google image search hits. What to do?", "post": "As the title suggest, I have a blog that suddenly became successful... on paper. I started it last year as a place to vent my mind. I didn't need to get a lot of visitors, but if people would actually read what I had to say, I would be a very happy camper.\n\nFast forward to a couple of weeks ago, I checked the stats to a youtube video I made and found out 1/3 of the views came from my blog. That was great! So I checked the stats from my blog and found out that since last august the pageviews are steadily increasing. Last month alone I recieved around 1200. Thankfully the blog gave me the links that viewed my blog most and then I got sad.\n\nThe links are almost all to stock pictures I use to brighten up my posts. I don't know if I should be happy for the views or feel down, because my posts are probably not read.\n\nNow there are people reading my blog, I've had a comment on one post and I got some great reactions of people I know who heard about it from other friends. The problem is they get drowned under all these google image hits.\n\nWhat to do? Should I remove the pictures? Should I just take mother Mary's advice and let it be? Is there a good way to generate traffic to my blog aside from posting links on reddit?\n\nThanks in advance for your help.", "summary": "My blog gets visited by people who want other people's images and not my blog posts. What can I do to turn the tide?"} {"id": "t3_ddqmp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Have to write a presentation regarding IT for uni and need ideas. Help?", "post": "Hey guys - the presentation can be anything from networking to OOP (the first two ideas that came to my mind). The problem is that networking was done last year and I don't want to write about anything that I know for sure is a repetition. As for OOP, since it's the first course in IT studies, I'm not sure if most people will even understand what programming really is about, let alone grasp the concepts of OOP. (OOP is due next year in uni).\n\nA little background about my knowledge - I'm fairly knowledgeable all around IT. I've spent last 6/7 years coding webpages in PHP, I'd say that I am at senior developer level. I've worked for four months as an IT security consultant so I have a good grasp of that as well. I also know the ins and outs of IT project management, the tools to use and the reasoning behind correct decisions in IT project management. Basically, I could write about almost anything with the help of Wikipedia.\n\nThe presentation is meant to share some knowledge with fellow students so it doesn't have to be anything supersmart and superlong.\n\nIt's just that when I try to come up with a decent idea that everybody would enjoy watching a presentation about, my mind just draws a blank..", "summary": "Need ideas for a presentation for my fellow students at uni and my mind seems to shut down when I try to figure out about what exactly to write so I'd love if you guys could help me out."} {"id": "t3_14mdlc", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Denied a student loan because of debt that doesn't exist. What do I do?", "post": "In March of 2012 I visited the hospital because of a broken foot. I paid my insurance provider's (UPMC) co-pay thought all things were fine. \n\nIn October of 2012 I received phone calls from multiple debt collection agencies saying I had outstanding debts with the hospital that needed to be corrected. After conferencing with a representative with UPMC I was assured by all parties that my credit report *would not be affected* by this transaction and that all debts were paid. \n\nFast forward to this week. I had applied for a student loan for this upcoming school year and was denied because of a debt collection entry on my credit report. You guessed it; it's from the debt collector that previously assured me my credit score would not be touched. \n\nAfter calling the debt collector and UPMC again, it appears that all I can do is wait for the debt to be removed from my credit report. Is there a way to expedite this? How do I dispute a collection claim on my credit report?", "summary": "I was denied a loan because of a debt collection that I was assured by the collection agency was taken care of. How do I dispute this?"} {"id": "t3_151h15", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Ex girlfriend refuses to testify against her rapist... what can I do??? [X-post from /r/rape]", "post": "So long story short, my ex girlfriend was raped a couple days ago by her now-ex brother-in-law. She took an ambien, he was drunk, he was basically the scum of the Earth taking advantage of her like that.\n\nThe only reason she tells me she isn't going to testify (and she tells me she will admit that the entire incident was consensual if I so much as consider calling the police) is because her sister is afraid that she won't get child support from him for her 1 year old twins. He's even abused her in the past, but because they live in Arizona (where if a father is in jail he doesn't have to pay child support), even she hasn't called the police on him yet. I'm basically asking - is there anything I can do when everyone involved (including the father - another waste of human skin) isn't willing to call the police on this guy, let alone testify against him or press charges? All I want is at MINIMUM to have him registered as a sex offender or SOMETHING.\n\nI'm at the end of my metaphorical rope here... help me guys...", "summary": "ex girlfriend won't testify against her ex-brother-in-law rapist because she's afraid her sister won't get child support if he goes to jail."} {"id": "t3_3hzwna", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[19/M] I'm trying to find any way to help my [19/F] with her past relationship problems that are leaking into today.", "post": "Hey reddit, my SO (19) and I (18) have been together for about 6 months now.\u00a0 I met her in school and she was apart of an international student program in America\u00a0 from Finland.\u00a0 Anyway, we started dating around March, and in June she went back home for the summer before we start college.\u00a0 Prior to our relationship, she was in a relationship with another guy in Finland before she moved.\u00a0 They both came to America, but on opposite sides of the country.\u00a0 This was about a 1.5 year relationship that ended when he cheated on her when he went back home for holiday.\u00a0 Some of her friends told her and sent her pictures for proof.\u00a0 She was obviously infuriated, so she quickly ended the relationship around December. It was only three months in between her last relationship and this one, and it was obvious she still had strong feelings for him.\u00a0 She denied any questions of her remaining love for him to spare my feelings, and only admitted to this a few weeks ago. She now promises that all her feelings are gone and she doesn't feel that towards him now.\n\n\u00a0Fast forward to today, they're both back in Finland, they text semi regularly (few times a week)\u00a0 and it always ends with her being upset and coming to me and either crying or just generally being in a bad mood.\u00a0 I don't know what she wants to do.\u00a0 She's trying to convince him that he changed, and he's denying everything. But he still manages to get such a huge reaction out of her.\u00a0 Personally I don't think it's good for her, but I've been hesitant on stepping in, in fear that I would make matters worse.\u00a0 He's causing her more stress in her already stressed life.\u00a0 And I don't know why she still puts up with him. But I just feel hopeless and I want to help her. \n\nSo reddit, my question is this: is there something I can tell her or do for her that can make her see that this is just an unhealthy friendship? I honestly just don't know what to do.\u00a0 It pains me to see her like this.\u00a0 Thanks in advance for your help.", "summary": "SO still insists on keeping a relationship with her ex that cheated on her. She gets upset constantly from talking to him yet won't stop. Help."} {"id": "t3_145ax1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is your opinion on Gun Control?", "post": "Ban them? Heavily restrict them? No restrictions?\n\nI believe most law abiding citizens have a right to bear arms. However, I also believe almost every American should own a gun as well. A society where everybody is capable of defending one's self is, in my opinion, a potentially safer one. Muggers, public shooters and even police would think twice before committing unjustifiable murders if most people were able to defend themselves. \n\nThe best reason for people to bear arms would be if the need to have a revolution ever occurred. A Government has to fear it's people so it'll continue to obey the needs of it's citizens. There could someday come the point where we the people will have to do something against an immorally bankrupt and corrupt Government. Governments do not last forever and revolutions occur most often in older Governments which have ran their course and have fell off the path of supporting it's citizens. \n\nI find the idea of banning guns to be incredibly ignorant. Doing such a thing while arming the police force and military could cause a tyrannical government to become unstoppable. Guns exist and limiting firearms to us only put the firearms in the hands of those who do harm like Gangs and Murderers. Everybody should have the right to protect themselves from threats against their well-being. More people with firearms does not equate to a giant increase in murders; it helps ensure our own freedom and protection. Well, maybe in Africa more firearms causes a lot more deaths but I'm talking about a civilized society with a Government that enforces laws against murder.", "summary": "All people deemed responsible should own, and carry, a firearm. The Second Amendment is crucial to maintaining a sound Government. "} {"id": "t3_l97sf", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I want to eventually get back together with my Ex... how do i approach this?", "post": "I'm going to post my links from my other posts because theres a lot of information and i dont want to type it all again. if you would like to know more about my situation click on these links:\n\nI'm 25 and I called my ex for the first time since she broke up with me 12 days ago. I really miss her and am very much in love with her. I know shes going through some stuff right now and doesnt need a serious relationship right now. We talked for an hour tonight and it was great. I asked her a couple of times if she needed to go and she always said no. At the end i told her it was good talking to her and she said it was really good talking to me too. She said i guess ill talk to you later, and i told her i'd call her in a few days or something. She seemed happy and said ok.\n\nHow do i need to approach this? I dont want to push her away or try to move too quickly. I do want her back in my life.", "summary": "My ex broke up with me last week because she couldnt handle a serious relationship right now. We talked to night and it went great. I want to get back with her."} {"id": "t3_wfxo6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Heard you like puzzles - the May Day Mystery has gone unsolved for over 30 years. Care to give it a go?", "post": "My university's student newspaper has been running mysterious full-page ads from an unknown group every May 1 since 1981. Each ad is a seemingly random collage of math equations, scientific diagrams of all disciplines, maps, symbols, art, passages in dozens of languages, references to key figures in history (namely Martin Luther, Calvin, Cromwell, and Gustavus Adolphus), and extremely cryptic passages referring often to \"The Loyal Order of Un-reconstructed Freaks,\" and \"The Hotel California.\"\n\nSome examples: \n\n[2008](\n\n[2004](\n\n[2003](\n\n[Maydaymystery.org] has every May 1 ad since 1981, as well as other, smaller ads that appear on other dates.\n\nThe person or group responsible seems to have significant means, as 30 years worth of full-page ads in a university newspaper can't be cheap (dat youth demo). Plus, since the site was set up, the webmaster has been receiving even more cryptic e-mails and letters, sometimes with gifts like [rare coins] (this is a Mexican gold 2 1/2 peso dated 1945. Real gold.).\n\nThere are also references to a [safety deposit box] in a bank in Downtown Tucson.\n\nAn eccentric local lawyer apparently acts as the group's legal counsel, but refuses to discuss the origin of the ads. [Here's a local news story with some more background](\n\nSo, reddit, can you solve this 30-year-old puzzle?", "summary": "Cryptic full-page puzzles show up in college newspaper every May 1, makes the [Subway Cipher] look like the Daily Jumble."} {"id": "t3_552uo5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24/M] girlfriend [21\\F] has decided she wants to become celibate 9 months into our sexual relationship, without any religious motivation to do so.", "post": "My girlfriend has decided shes wants to give up sex for 12 months because it's something she said she has always wanted to do. She is not religious nor is taking up any religion. When i ask why, the response is with unsure answers and ends by saying it'll 'make her a better person' and she'll find out why when she does it. Naturally I cant make sense of her choice from the response she gives me.\n\nI understand there is much more to a relationship than just sex, and breaking up with her is the last thing i would want to do. It's something I don't think I will do regardless of her decisions. However, I value sex as really important to me and our relationship. Therefore the thought of no sex for a whole year upsets me. The thought of a loved one taking away something I can only enjoy with her definitely hurts me more. I'd like to call it a selfish act but it's not something being done out of spite, but just for a reason I don't quite understand. \n\nAny input or reasoning behind this choice would be greatly appreciated", "summary": "GF wants to give up sex for a year because she thinks it'll make her a better person and cant explain how. I don't know what to think of it all"} {"id": "t3_162z8w", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[25/f] can't get over my boyfriend's [26/m] past", "post": "First of all, I know that it's not a great idea to get too hung up on your SO's exes. I've heard all of the things like \"he chose to be with you/is with you now which means that even if you think his ex is perfect, she must not have been.\" which logically makes sense... but my brain won't seem to accept it. let me also clarify that my relationship right now is my first \"normal\" long term relationship. even after a year into the relationship I can't get over the feeling that I might be getting compared to the ex and that I might not be as good as she was. I'm intensely curious about my SO and his ex's relationship. they had met as exchange students in another country and were together for that year and in an LDR for about a year and a half afterwards. Something about the LDR part of their relationship has me worried that maybe they only broke up because of the distance and not because they stopped having feelings for each other. I have also seen pictures of his ex and I look very similar to her. That used to worry me slightly in the beginning of our relationship because I thought that maybe he was only interested in me because I reminded him of her. My SO doesn't actually give me any reason to be feeling this way, but I think it might be my insecurities that are fueling these thoughts. He's been pretty open about her when I ask but I've also been pretty shy to ask about his past... I don't want to be that kind of a girlfriend. I haven't told any of my worries to my SO because I have always been kind of \"cool\" when he does mention ex-girlfriends. I think it would be a very big and ugly surprise for him to know how I actually feel about it. When I step back and try to look at the situation logically, it doesn't make sense at all and I know I'm being silly. But I've always been an overthinker and sometimes I just can't get the thoughts out of my head. Is there anything I can do to keep from slipping into these really bad thoughts?", "summary": "my brain won't let me stop thinking unsolicited thoughts about my SO's ex girlfriend and I can't make it stop"} {"id": "t3_1d453g", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I am[19M] so of a chicken to go and talk to a girl[19F], so my friend added her on Facebook for me and sent a Hello message, how should I ask her out?", "post": "Okay this would be my first attempt to ask a girl out I am 19 and so is she. she is cute and in two of my classes.\n\nPlease help a newbie\n\nThe part were I say that I deserved higher was my other fucking friend getting back on me (I am stupid to let him work on my computer).\n\nThis conversation has been done in a period of three days in which she was traveling in two of them and we had many exams.\n\nHello\n\nI am sorry I meant to send the last message to someone else. Saturday\n\n11:03am\n\nnot at all\n\n11:19am\n\nBtw i just noticed that u received high honors, congratulations\n\n11:50am\n\nthanks:) i dont know wheter you received or not\n\n11:53am\n\nYes I did but I just Honors Sunday\n\n8:30pm\n\nit doesnt matter,you got honors it's enough i think Tuesday\n\n10:05pm\n\nI dont think so I beleive that I deserve more Wednesday\n\n2:24am\n\nI meant that I wanted more and there was some things that happened \nwith the chem teacher that had affected my grade, so yeah I wanted more haha. Wednesday\n\n7:27pm\n\nif you want more you should study more.i hope you can get what you \nwant\n\n9:01pm Yeah, I know I wasn't as I should last semester. how are you \ndoing with math and phys this semester?", "summary": "added her on Facebook started a conversation it got a bit creepy because of my friend writing to her from my Facebook, but still want to date her."} {"id": "t3_4fkoe0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] with my boyrfriend's [24 M] recent sensitivity.", "post": "Lately my boyfriend has been sensitive and I don't know how to handle it. Lemme start off by saying I have no issue with him being sensitive, however I have been the cause of the sensitivity which makes me uneasy. \n\nThe instances: 1. When he was explaining something about me when we first met, I said it was a little weird (he creeped on me a little, but in the end I don't care anymore) 2. He likes to say he itches himself and I said \"You scratch yourself not itch yourself (jokingly). He then became distant in conversation after I said these things and brought them up later saying I hurt his feelings. Both nights became awkward even after I apologized. \n\nMy apologies were sincere as I don't mean to offend him in anyway. However, I don't really understand how what I said were insensitive things to say? He says he hasn't been mentally there this week due to smoking less nicotine, eating better, and working out more. How do I go about taking to him/handling the situation?", "summary": "Boyfriend is sensitive to what I've said, however I don't really think what I've said is insensitive. Help."} {"id": "t3_30ftfa", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Need some help deciding my career path.(wall of text but tl:Dr inc.)", "post": "I am 19 and am having trouble deciding if I really want to live my life the way I am right now. I am an Apprentice Line worker and have been for 5 months now. When I first started it seemed like I would be making a lot of money then I realized how much of it has to go into living in a hotel and eating out and travel expense. I make 24 dollars an hour and almost every job says it is going to be 60 hours a week. Very few weeks have I actually been able to work that many hours and have only been able to be at jobs for about two months before they either are finished or lay off the people low on the totem pole of seniority. So I have no money saved Living paycheck to paycheck In a hotel racking up credit card debt because my paychecks take two weeks to start direct deposit and I have to drive almost 8 hours to be able to put them in a branch of my bank. Which I don't have time for because every day of the week I'm working or at least have to show up to work and be there for two hours. I know eventually I'll be making almost double and I love my job and the people I work with, But I'm still not sure that the struggle is worth it. My other option is to go to college and become an engineer which when I went to technical college Seemed like it would take too long when there is something that cost less to get into but makes enough money to live well, but now I'm rethinking my position. I would give almost anything to have a job with steady, predictable hours in a single place that I could call home. I know I could do the work and pass. the money might be a problem because my parents make too much for help but not enough to pay for my whole college tuition. I could take out private loans but I can't decide if that's really worth it. Please help me. \n\n(", "summary": "I'm 19 I have a good paying job $24/hr but shitty hours and have to travel everywhere and stay at my own expense. Should I go back to college to get a less traveling equally paying job?)"} {"id": "t3_2t69xp", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by making a super religious person think I'm a satanist.", "post": "So, at my school, there's this girl who's super religious. Of course, whenever I say \"Praise GabeN!\" jokingly with my friends, she takes it to mean that I'm a satanist and I'm hellbent on killing everyone I know. She yells at me to never say \"Praise GabeN!\" around her again because somehow not following her religion offends her some shit. (I'm agnostic BTW) So, she thinks I'm a satanist and that GabeN is some hellspawn demon. When she asks me, I answer sarcastically \"Yup, I worship satan, yup.\" So, she fucking reports me to the principal's office and says I plan on blowing up the fucking school and everyone in it. After hours or talking with the school and the cops, I'm finally free, and this jackass just wasted hours of my time.", "summary": "sarcastically said I'm a satanist around a religious person and she takes it to mean she should report me to the cops and the school for being a psycho murderer."} {"id": "t3_f0xr3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey AskReddit, I need someone to draw a fox so that it can be graciously displayed in my room.", "post": "Any kind of fox: red, fennic, arctic, you name it. I just rearranged a few things in my room and I have some friends' artwork hung about the room. What I don't have is a work of a kind of fox, my favorite kind of animal. There is a big empty space as soon as you open the door to my room, and I'd like to see a fox upon entering :). I love sketches, vintage type drawings, and really anything self-created. Only problem is that I'm terrible at drawing.\nReddit has never let me down, so I'd love to see what some of you can come up with!\nI'd like to frame it and put it up, the space is 26in./66cm in width.\n\nI'm also a fan of african elephants as well. Or wild animals, for that matter. :)", "summary": "Anyone that wants to submit an original artwork of any kind of fox, elephant, or wild animal to be displayed on my wall, please do so!"} {"id": "t3_ued4v", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Do you have an Emergency/Get Home Bag? If so, whats in it.", "post": "Recently, I have been thinking a lot about either purchasing or putting together a Emergency/Get Home Bag. For those of you who are unaware of what these bags are, its pretty much a bag or pack you can grab quickly which will help you survive in the event of a natural disaster or with recent events, a zombie apocalypse! Theses are different than a \"bug out bag\" as the Get Home Bag is designed for when you are on the road. \n\nMost of these bags come with a couple days of food, fresh water, a sleeping bag, tent, first aid kit, etc. I see one online which looks like a very good deal: and have been thinking of purchasing it.\n\nLots of places online tell of great ways to make such a bag, such as:\n\nor\n\nBut, what I want to know, is if you do have one of these bags, whats in it that you think others dont think of?\n\nIf you dont have one, I want to know your honest reason for not having one. Am I crazy for having one? Let me know!", "summary": "Want to put together a better \"Get Home Bag\" than all the places on the web. Tell me your ideas or tell me why I'm crazy for wanting to have one."} {"id": "t3_4l6mc1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I 28f want to leave my husband 34m because he's emotionally abusive, how do other people gather the courage to do stuff like this?", "post": "Hello everyone, \n\nI've been married to him for 10 years now, he's the only relationship I've ever had. I've only lived with him and my family back home who I left him for. I'm tired of the emotional abuse he dishes out an don't know how much more I can take.\n\nBut, I'm having a hard time actually doing it. How do I just up and leave him? All of this time, plans, savings we've managed to scrounge together. I mean, at 19 I had no problem ditching my family who quite frankly don't deserve what I did to them. They were the best parents I could ask for and I just left them and my siblings. I even lied to their faces! How was that so easy and this so hard? \n\nI've wasted the best years of my life on this guy, missed out on so many milestones back home, time I could have had with my brother who just over a couple years ago overdosed on heroine. I could have already been done college but no, he said I shouldn't go to college an here I am. I'm so lost and confused and I don't know who to open up too, I can't even get a therapist because he thinks they are a waste of time and money.", "summary": "How do people leave their spouses after everything that was built. I'm scared and don't really know any other life outside of my marriage."} {"id": "t3_vxkyp", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "I got married this past Saturday! Thanks for all the help r/weddingplanning!", "post": "I got married on Saturday and I just wanted to thank all of you for all the help along the way! After a year of stressing & worrying about throwing a wedding that we could be proud to call our own AND that would be fun for all our guests AND was affordable, it went perfectly. Literally. Not a single thing went wrong. Well, I didn't take the time to actually enjoy any of the food and decor details that I worked so hard on, because I was so busy talking and dancing, but I know all the guests enjoyed them, so it wasn't a waste. \n\nA few things I realized - before the wedding, people kept telling me to remember to eat and to breathe. I thought these people were a little silly - of course I'd remember to eat and breathe, right?! But on the day of the wedding, I realized why they said this - you literally do forget to do both, or you try to but your nerves are so intense that you almost can't. Anyway, turns out this was actually good and needed advice. :) Also, after being SO incredibly nervous the day before and the day of, about 5 minutes before walking down the aisle, I got super calm. All of a sudden I wasn't nervous in the least - I was just ready and happy to do it. (I should note, I wasn't nervous about getting married, or the man I chose, I was just nervous that things would go wrong - like the trolley or the food or something like that.) But nothing did! Everything, including the weather, was perfect and I'm so happy it happened the way it did. And, to be honest, I'm happy it's over and we can start the next chapter in our lives. Thanks for all the help and calming words along the way!", "summary": "Got married on Sunday and it went perfectly! Turns out \"remember to breathe & eat\" is not stupid advice after all :)"} {"id": "t3_24pq17", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my [26 F] girlfriend of 1.5 years do not love each other equally and I am curious of everyone's input on that.", "post": "I've been dating my gf for the last 1.5 years, and she's nothing short of a fantastic individual. She's the first woman I'm comfortable with being the mother of my future children, which says something about her character. \n\nShe is madly in love with me, accepts me for my faults, and would be as loyal as a dog to me as we move forward; however, I don't love her as much as she loves me. I get annoyed by her little tendencies, habits, and a lot of her little knacks have just been troubling me over the past 3 or 4 months. \n\nIn our team of love, she certainly pulls more weight, and I feel very emotionally unattached and distant. It breaks her to tears every time that I bring this up to her, and I don't know how to handle it, or what to do.\n\nDoes anyone have any input, advice, or suggestions what may help us find that spark again, or if that is even worth it?", "summary": "I'm falling out of emotional love with my gf, but she hopes for a wedding ring and I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_2ij17t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[22 M] S.O.[23 F] of a few months is not very open with how she feels about me.", "post": "I like showing my affection. Through words and actions. I've never been with a girl who wasn't as open as I am with my feelings. \n\nMy current S.O. is pretty much the opposite. She rarely states her feelings for me in anyway, especially unprovoked. If I flirt with her or compliment her or anything like that, it's almost as if it makes her uncomfortable. It's to the point where I don't really feel comfortable calling her by a dumb pet name or even saying she's pretty. \n\nI know people show how they feel differently, which is why I've been giving her time - I'm hoping that maybe she just needs extra time to be accustomed to me? I really don't know. This is completely foreign to me. \n\nI really like her. And I *think* she likes me, but honestly it's so hard to tell. I don't want to make her sound like an emotionless person. We have a lot of fun together. It just feels like there's some weird gap between us. \n\nI'm currently adopting the \"wait and see\" method to give her more time to get comfortable with me. I just want to know if anyone has experience with this and if I am doing the right thing. I don't want to have to have some weird \"you're not showing me that you like me enough\" conversation. \n\nMany thanks. And sorry if this is super vague. Let me know if I can clear anything up.", "summary": "I'm open with my feelings. Girlfriend is not. I wish she was, but I don't want to make her uncomfortable. What do?"} {"id": "t3_f21dt", "subreddit": "self", "title": "My 36-yr-old brother had a heart attack today.", "post": "My brother is in the hospital. Last night, he had some pain in his arms and in his back. He said it felt like a muscle ache. He couldn't sleep all night, and in the morning went to the Walgreens walk-in clinic. They told him he might be having a heart attack and to get to the ER. Well, they were right. He drove himself to the hospital, where they determined one of the main arteries in his heart had 100% blockage. They brought him into the cath lab, removed the clot, and put in a stent. With the stent in place, the blood flow is back and there is no more blockage.\n\nThey say he will be in the hospital for a few days. There is some concern about how long the heart tissue went without blood flow, and there could be some serious tissue damage. But the doctor was hopeful that it won't have a serious impact on his quality of life. The good news is that as far as they can tell, all the other arteries are totally clean and there were no other blockages (not even partial blockages). So this may have just been a clot that formed somewhere that broke off and traveled to the heart. I'm not sure if we'll ever get definitive answers.\n\nThis has certainly been eye-opening -- a 36-year-old non-smoker, non-drinker, non-druggie having a heart attack. I never expected to get a call like the one I got today. It's been a bit of a surreal day, but I believe he will be OK and my family will be OK. \n\nI wanted to post this to make people aware that not all heart attacks are grabbers, where you feel chest pains and the \"typical\" pain in your left arm. If he had known this was a heart attack when the symptoms first started, the damage may have been minimized. Thanks for listening, reddit.", "summary": "A young otherwise healthy guy has a heart attack with atypical symptoms. Maybe knowing this will help someone else."} {"id": "t3_2jog16", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my best friend [27 M] 10 years, turned into a total asshole out of nowhere.", "post": "So basically, a friend and myself have been pretty close for going on 11 years now and lately, the guy has just been a total asshole. Over the last year or two, myself and another close friend of ours, have noticed a growing trend in this guy being a total dick. I mean arrogant, complete smart ass, and totally self-serving. He has a problem with alcohol which im sure feeds this. Either way, I'm not sure how to approach it any more. I have tried telling him that he needs to watch the way he treats his friends being as we haven't done anything to him. He constantly tries to pick fights over the stupidest things, anything from government policies all the way down to grammar. Yes, grammar. I really don't want to lose a close friend who I have known for nearly half my life.", "summary": "Long time friend has become totally hostile, arrogant, and asshole-ish over nothing and I don't know what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_1hsp0p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[M17/18] girlfriend[F17/18] headed for college (most likely) soon; don't know how well we'd handle long distance. Advice please?", "post": "(Brief explanation of the 17/18: we're both 17 but our birthdays are in a month, so...)\n\nSo, my girlfriend of 3 months will most likely be attending college soon (A major deciding factor being some medical complications which I will not be getting into). The campus is about a 6 hour drive from where I live and being my age, even with a job it's an expensive trip, not including accommodations since dorms are strictly one-gender. \n\nDespite how much I'd really love to see her on a regular basis, I don't know how often I could afford to go all the way to see her. Included that my parents are divorced and my mother travels for her job, meaning I have to supervise the house and my younger sister while she's out (which can be for up to 5 days at a time).\n\nWe're already pretty used to seeing each other only once or twice a week since we live about 45 minutes apart, but neither she nor I know how well we could handle not being able to see each other for weeks at a time.\n\nWe've talked about it, and despite Skype, text, and phone, it doesn't compare to meeting face-to-face. We have a wonderful relationship in every aspect (we have fun, communicate well, share interests, respect each other, I could go on) and love each other very much. Neither of us want to end it because of distance reasons.\n\nI'm currently unsure of where I'll be attending college (aside from that I will be attending, and within the state), though one of my primary choices is one hour away from where she will be, at a good school, and in a city where I have family that would gladly take me in. The issue again with this school is my mother's traveling job and the need to be half guardian half house-sitter.\n\nI am currently in an state of I-have-no-freaking-idea.\n\n[", "summary": "] Girlfriend moving (likely) to hours-away college. I am currently in a position of responsibility on a somewhat regular basis and must therefore stay put. We don't know if we could handle the distance."} {"id": "t3_1f25t0", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Told my girlfriend I love her but she's afraid to love back (Me 16/M, Her F/16, Length: 2 Months", "post": "Here's the deal, we've been dating for about 2 months and about a week ago I told her I love her. In reality she had been dating one of my friends for a year and I liked her since then (Friendzoned obviously) but he didn't treat her right and was really hurt by it. Her parents are also divorced and been through many dads, has been bullied a bit and abused. Perhaps it's easy for me because she's the first girl I've ever loved. But she feels bad for not explaining it to me (I told her to not worry about it, she doesn't have to explain anything, i can't force her feelings). So any advice on the matter would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "Told girlfriend i love her, she's had a bad boyfriend, parents divorced and abused, afraid to love back (what she said).Need advice"} {"id": "t3_2xw5l6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 F] with my ex [30 M] of 1 year. How to break no contact and be friends?", "post": "I know a lot of people say never, or to wait till he contacts you before deciding if you want to talk to him (often advised 'no' anyway). But when I am truly over the hurt and anger of the breakup, I would like to let go of the grudge holding me onto NC. I'm not going to rush into this until I've had a good 30 days, or until I no longer feel like I want him back.\n\nWe have lots of similar interests and ideas and I value him as a good friend, even after things started going wrong relationship-wise. Also, if anything, I do still care about him and I think my forgiveness will really help him move on with other aspects of his life (not going to go into details but he really hurt me, and he knows and regrets that). He is not going to contact me first because I told him not to, until I am ready and I contact him, and he is respecting that space. \n\nI am wondering how I do that. We are not living in the same country now so a meet up is not possible. Long email with heartfelt thoughts about relationship and me saying I forgive him? Casual text asking how he's doing (implicitly letting him know I do forgive him and want to be friends)?", "summary": "How do I break no contact with my ex after he hurt me, to let him know I forgive him and to hopefully be friends?"} {"id": "t3_q368e", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, How can I tell my dad to do his own homework?", "post": "My dad is going back to school. I'm a sophmore in college and he's barely going back. Every assignment he get he asks me to do for him or help him to the point where I end up doing it. He pays me and I do still live at home rent free. When I refuse to help him and tell him that he needs to learn for himself and that he is cheating himself in the end. He throws a thantrum and makes me feel like shit. Then he goes to my mom who has 2 jobs and has 5 classes. She does anything for him. \n\nHe's acting like a baby and I don't know how to make him realize that he needs to do his work. I offer to tutor him and I truly try to teach him how to learn but he just does not want to do it. When things aren't done perfect, he threatens to quit school. Its so childish.", "summary": "My dad doesn't do his homework and forces my mom and I to do it for him. Whats a nice way to tell him he's only cheating himself?"} {"id": "t3_jvfts", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How can i stop over thinking every thing?", "post": "Overthinking is a huge problem for me, it's driving me nuts. It makes me hate alot of people, even some friends. If someone makes a small joke or prank, i just wouldnt be able to get it out of my mind till i get to the point of hating them, even though i know that it was just a joke or that they were just kidding. And i can never stop fully evaluating any person or situation, i always try to simulate anything i do and i even sometimes just keep trying to convince myself if i should say a joke or note. This is really crippling me socially, even though in some situations i dont have any trouble at all being confident in conversations, most of the time i just think that most people are out to get me which makes me really overthink most of the things i say or do.", "summary": "I over think people and situations and it makes me paranoid concerning people and really breaks any confidence i have. Can anyone helpe me stop this horrible habbit?"} {"id": "t3_48f045", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by hating how I look", "post": "Backstory: I personally hate how I look in my school photo and especially how I look in my ID badge clamped onto my blazer. Girlfriend takes the piss out of me because of how shit I look. Stupid facial expression, it was taken before a well needed haircut and the quality of the ID is shit.\n\nA'ight, I was in Chemistry and I was tired of having to see that ugly ass ID badge, so I thought I'd be clever and draw myself a less shittier looking picture for my ID and then slip it in my badge. Didn't look too shabby.\n\nRoll around to Monday and the strictest teacher comes up to me because he always has two cents to put in about my uniform and sees my badge, he immediately stops me to a halt and demands that I take the picture out of my badge, so I do because I can't be fucked to argue with him cause it's not worth it and I arrive at my exam late.\n\nWhich brings me to yesterday where my head of year comes up to me in my physics exam and asks that I see her at break, so I answer Physics questions for 2 hours and see her at break.\n\nI'm in her office and she holds up my amazing artistry, *fucks sake again with this shit*, she then gives me a detention because I'm \"defacing my uniform\" and \"setting a bad example for the year 7's\" not that I care about either. It is now a waiting game where I will see how this detention pans out later today.", "summary": "I hate how I look so I drew a replacement photo for my schools ID and now I got a detention because of it."} {"id": "t3_1hw0u5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[23M] gf[22f] of a year and a half, is jealous of my friend[23f]", "post": "I met my girlfriend in undergrad and she is a year younger than me, I just graduated so she has a year left to complete. My hometown is 1500 miles away from where I went to school so we will be in an LDR for about a year. I met my gf in school and our relationship feels like a dream at times. We write letters to each other daily and skype frequently but recently she has become increasingly jealous of my friend from my hometown. I understand that now that I am back home I will be spending less time with my gf and more time with my friend, and this contributes towards the feelings of jealousy, but I really feel like these notions are unfounded. Most of my friends from hs are girls because my guy friends from middle school ended up going to a different high school. As a result, most of my friends from hs are girls and most of my friends in undergrad are guys. I've never dated any of these girl friends from high school, so I really have a hard time understanding why she feels like this. My family and friends all love my gf (they've skyped and met her casually), but they've never met her in person. I can't wait for the opportunity for her to get to know my friends in person so she can see that the jealousy really is for naught. But her family is uncomfortable with her traveling 1500 miles across the country to visit me, which I understand. So, I feel like i'm in a bit of a pickle at the moment. I hate seeing my gf so upset, but I really don't even hang out with my hs friends that frequently. When I do, I almost feel like I shouldn't tell my gf that I did. I still tell her at the moment, because I feel like not telling her is hiding something but I don't know what to do! Help me reddit!", "summary": "I'm in a LDR, with my gf of a year and a half, and now that i'm back home, my gf is becoming jealous of my female high school friends that i've never dated. -_____-"} {"id": "t3_gnlbd", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Do restaurant food delivery drivers prefer being tipped in cash, or having you charge the tip to a credit card if you are ordering online?", "post": "I'm sure they prefer being tipped (generously) to not being tipped. But given the prospect of an equal and generous tip, do they prefer it in cash, or on the credit card.\n\nWhy I ask: I ordered from papa Gino's and I noticed that they add in a delivery fee (which is not a tip, of course, because they keep that) and then have a selection list for \"tip\" which will calculate 5, 10, 15, 20 percent and add that to your bill. You also have the choice of \"custom.\" So, you could put in any amount. If you wanted to tip in cash, you'd have to either pay the whole thing in cash or put \"0\" in the tip amount which doesn't sit well with me (even if I intend to make it up to the driver). \n\nI usually tip in a way that is mindful of the driver's time and rising gas prices, but I am also slightly suspicious of companies and wonder if the driver actually gets that tip.\n\nIn this case, I asked the driver. She seemed happy to be asked and told me that she does get the tip if I put it on the card, and that it is \"probably safer that way.\" I didn't want to take up her time, so I didn't get clarification. I assume she meant it is safer for them to not be carrying cash.", "summary": "If you are/were a driver, would you prefer a cash tip; do you trust that you'd get the money if it is charged to a credit card?"} {"id": "t3_2fnmr5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Do I (24/f) have a right to be concerned about my (23/m) boyfriend of 1.5 years recent behavior in our second LDR?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have recently started our second LDR (we had a short LDR last year that lasted 4 months). He is currently living 8 hours away from me in order to obtain a second degree. His recent drinking behavior, however, has concerned me.\n\nSince leaving for school, he has been going out almost every other night to drink (either at bars or in the dorms) with his dorm-mates. The reason why I'm so concerned is because before leaving for school (during the 12 month period when we were together physically) he expressed a detestation for drinking, claiming he was \"happy\" and had \"no need\" to drink. \n\nAm I over reacting? Rationally, I want to believe he is simply attempting to make friends with his dorm-mates and going along with the social norms of dormitory life. However, a second part of me is concerned about the recent behavior change considering he rarely drank before. Should I wait it out and see what happens, or ask him about the behavior on our upcoming skype date? \n\nThanks for your help!", "summary": "Boyfriend in LDR has been drinking more than usual since leaving for school. Should I ask him about the recent behavior change or wait it out?"} {"id": "t3_28dwwv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Grandma likes to spoil me (25/F) and my family makes me feel guilty about it.", "post": "I am 25 years old and my Grandma's first grandchild, ever since I was little she always liked me to visit her and do things with her. She would even take me school clothes shopping every year because my family didn't have the money.\n\nAt 25, she still does these things for me (minus school clothes shopping). She always wants me to visit her house for about a week every year and she always insists on taking me places and buying me things (Not expensive things, mostly like thrift store clothes or maybe 1-2 new things), or if we go out to eat she always pays, she pays for everything basically. If I try to refuse something or offer to pay, she flat out refuses and won't let me.\n\nShe even buys me a plane ticket just to visit my family and her each year (we live in different states now), even when I say I have money and can pay, she INSISTS I let her pay.\n\nMy family thinks I shouldn't let her do these things for me, but it makes her happy. When I turn things down she wants to buy me, she gets sad and upset. I don't know whether or not to just let her do this, or what.\n\nI don't know if it's all because my parents feel jealous or guilty because they don't have the money to do the things my Grandma does for me and they wish they could.", "summary": "Grandma likes to buy things for me but my family says I shouldn't let her. I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_4iagfs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My partner [18F] of two months broke up with me[18M] because she was not ready for a relationship", "post": "Girl i have been seeing for two months broke up with me over text last Sunday.\n\n I do not understand what happened, we were perfectly happy a few days before. \n\nShe just sent me a text out of the blue only wanting to be friends even if we had made plans to do things during the summer.\n\n I sent her a \"sorry you feel that way, but thank you for the memories\" kind of message, but she didnt answer.\n\n I feel so lonely and want her back but most people around me tell me to forget her\n\nShould I just let go? Even after all we have done together? \n\nIt is to note that I still have very strong feelings for her even if she hurt me immensely.", "summary": "Girl ended things with me and I want her back and want closure (at least), should i ask to meet her or is that too clingy?"} {"id": "t3_3bwld9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my GF [17 F] My girlfriend is mad at me, would you be too?", "post": "Hey /r/relationships, I have been with my Girlfriend (lets call her \"Emma\") for just over a year now and its been mostly a great time and we love each other very much. I graduated in 2014 (so I am in college), and shes due to graduate in 2016; but I have a situation and I don't know If I did anything wrong so I need a second opinion.\n\nAbout two days ago we were invited to one of my girlfriends friends party's on this upcoming Saturday, and I said \"yes\" because I didn't have any other plans. Well, yesterday when I was hanging out with one of my best friends, who is back from uni, invited me to her house for a small get together with a bunch of our friends who I don't get to see besides the summer.\n\nFor the next three nights I am working till 9 pm and I am usually very tired by the end of the three nights, and the last closing shift is on the night of the two events. Emma said that I didn't have to go if I didn't want to, by which I replied that \"I was thinking of stopping by my friends house for a few minutes because she is having a little get together with friends\" and reassured her that I will make sure to get her to her friends house regardless if I am going there or not. Emma got obviously angry by using \"k\" and when I made a joke about that, she said that she \"got (my friends name)'d\" and than she abruptly said \"I'm going bye\". I think she is acting like this because I am going to stop by my friends house for a few minutes rather than go to her friends party with her, even after she said I didn't have to go if I didn't want to. Plus, I also gave her a few days heads up that I might not be going, rather than ditch her the day of. My question is: Would you be angry too, or is this something I shouldn't worry about?", "summary": "Girlfriends mad at me, I don't know If I did something wrong or not because shes being passive aggressive."} {"id": "t3_26zqw3", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "My dog is having trouble with any new tricks, please help!", "post": "So I have a one year old golden retriever who is having trouble learning any new tricks. When I first got him, at 8 weeks, I taught him the basics (sit, down, stay) and manners. Then, I thought touch (with his nose) would be a fun trick to teach, and it was. Until now. Now, whenever I do anything, he tries to touch it and won't learn anything else really.\n\nAfter I taught him those first 4 tricks, I got lazy and really stopped working on anything besides manners and those 4 tricks. He really doesn't even lay down without a hand signal for some reason. \n\nHow do I work through this? I really would love to work on a lot of tricks, but he really won't stop touching me hand whenever I try to lure him (and I mean like jerk touching, not nice luring).", "summary": "Dog always tries to touch my hand with his nose, makes luring near impossible and teaching \"shake\" or \"paw\" a nightmare."} {"id": "t3_3vjrmb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20M] second date with a girl [20F] ended with a hug, not a kiss. But she said she wanted to see me again after finals/winter break end?", "post": "Last night I went on a really great second date with a girl. Despite it being reading period, with finals approaching next week, we went to see a comedy show, and then got hot chocolate at a coffee shop afterwards and talked until closing. I walked her home afterwards.\n\nAt the end of the date I really wanted to kiss her, and I started moving my hands towards her waist to hold her, but before I could do anything else she leaned in and gave me a tight hug, and told me she wanted to hang out with me again after winter break.\n\nDid she not want to kiss? Or did she just misread it as a hug?", "summary": "Second date was really good, tried for a kiss at the end but got a hug instead, and an invite for a third date. Rejection or miscommunication??"} {"id": "t3_2d6vxc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 M] going to a bachelor party and a few in the group [29 M]x3 want to deviate from the original plan behind the bachelor's back. We've known each other for 10 years.", "post": "2 of my friends are getting married and we're (15 of us) going to Vegas to celebrate for both of them next weekend. Each bachelor would get their own night to choose what we do. Saturday will be a nice dinner and bottle service at a club. Friday night was going to be a comedy show and late dinner afterwards (some people arrive in the evening). \n\nSome people are not on board with the Friday plan and want to go to a club instead of the late dinner after the comedy show. They started an email thread to half the group (friday bachelor excluded) trying to convince us to go to the club with them.\n\nI feel this is a pretty awful thing to do and I told them I wouldn't be comfortable with it. I think this could potientially ruin the weekend causing some rifts among the party not to mention how shitty my friend would feel if he found out.\n\nAre they being selfish and should I try to stop this or should I just let them go?", "summary": "Some friends in our bachelor party want to change the plans for one of the nights without including the bachelor. Not sure if I should try to stop them or let them go."} {"id": "t3_3pavwb", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm [27m] annoyed at GF [29F] and my physical Disabilities.", "post": "me and my SO been in a LDR for 2 years 2 months, we have known each other for 7 years had 5 visits things were great until 1 year in we planned on moving in together but she could not find work she had no complaints about my disability(duchenne muscular dystrophy) we were making funny jokes about it and such.i was bummed not being together i accepted it And dropped the issue. \nthis past march i got violently ill and had to be hospitalized (we both thought i was gonna die).she visited in august said i have to go to her state \"next time\". now every time i bring up my visit to her she has been wishy-washy about it, i ask why and she says \"who is going to take care of you?\".", "summary": "GF of 2 years now suddenly makes it feel like i am a burden to her when i want to visit. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_2djm2n", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I may be in a sexual pickle", "post": "I lost my virginity recently and I can't tell any of my close friends because it was with my best friends ex girlfriend.\n\nThey broke up recently and she legit came onto me after I drove her home one night and a few nights later she was at my house and the deed happened and rubbers were used. I freaked out but she really didn't see anything wrong with it while I was freaking out. \n\nThis has happened a couple times since then because sex is really fun now that I've had it but it still kills me inside.\n\nThe funny thing about this whole thing is that I recently had sex with another girl who all my friends think I lost my virginity to. \n\nIt's a weird situation for me", "summary": "I recently lost virginity to best friends ex girlfriend but everyone thinks I lost it to another girl I recently have done the deed with"} {"id": "t3_31opgm", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by telling my friend I was going to molest his kids", "post": "Obligatory \"This happened two days ago\".\n\nAnyway, I had a buddy of mine over my room (we are both in college right now, and he's an Italian international student). We were just hanging out, but he was talking about all kinds of random stuff, like how he wanted to name his kids Gladstone and Bhivari (or something similarly ridiculous). So I made some joke and he starts laughing like \"Yeah, and you're gonna be my kids'... I don't know, what do you call that thing in English when you're like a fake uncle or something?\"\nSo I - and here's the fuckup - did my best marionette impression, which consists of wiggling my fingers in the air, and said \"The Godfather\" in a laughing (re: weird as hell) manner. Then, upon seeing his expression, I realized that what I was doing was making a gesture of fondling in the air while declaring my probable relationship with his future children.", "summary": "Tried to do a Godfather marionette impression, told my friend I was going to fondle his little ones."} {"id": "t3_3hbtvy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [40/F] with my bf [37 M] 1 year, I went on vacation with platonic male friend and lied", "post": "I was invited to a wedding of a male friend I have known since I was 15. I asked my boyfriend if he could go with me and have a mini vacation since it was on the opposite coast we live on. He couldn't because he had his kids for the full week that week.\n\n I have another male friend from college who I've travelled extensively with, and we've also been roommates in the past. We've been just friends for about 25 years and are great travel buddies. He also knows my friend getting married so I asked if he'd like to go and we could do some traveling in the area. He said sure.\n\nMy boyfriend and I were having some arguments, he has had problems with other friends of mine and taken hard lines like 'I won't hang out with them again' or 'you can hang out with them but I wont be there' and he has shown signs of not understanding men and women who are just friends. I was afraid to tell him my plan and have a fight or him draw a line in the sand and make me feel like I couldn't travel with my friend anymore.\n\nI took my trip now I feel so guilty for being dishonest and lying saying that I was there alone. I've never felt so deceptive and I never want to do this again. If I need to have a fight, I'll have the fight. But I still don't want to tell him because he can be emotional / punishing tantrums, and see things very black and white. If I know that I'll never do something like this again, can I keep it to myself?", "summary": "Do I have to tell my bf I had a platonic male friend with me on holiday? I've decided not to be dishonest again."} {"id": "t3_14reud", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "BF(17, M) and I(18, M) have broken up after 2 years. I'm so confused by everything that is happening now.", "post": "Me and my boyfriend broke up about a week ago. He said that he needed time for himself and that a relationship was too much pressure for him right now. So obviously I was completely devastated, but he almost didn't even seem to care that it was over.\n\n I couldn't handle it and almost went off the deep end. All I could think about was hurting myself and wanting to leave and never come back. I even tried to hurt myself. I'm so ashamed but I couldn't control myself. It hurts so much.\n\nMoving on to the next day, he kept calling me and telling me that he made a huge mistake and that he wanted back. Which just added even more to the confusion and hurt. I had some hope left so I said I would think about it.\n\nSo, onto the next day, I called him and said that maybe we could try again. Which obviously was a mistake because as soon as I told him that he said he didn't know if that was what he wanted anymore. Which by that point, my head was so cloudy and I couldn't even think straight. I instantly reverted back to my dark thoughts.\n\nTo make the rest of this shorter, ill simplify this part. We were on a talking basis, he told me he wanted to be boyfriends, but without the title to take some pressure off and that we shouldn't see each other as often as we did, I agreed -_- So that worked for a couple days.\n\nThen yesterday, I called him, he blew up on me, said this wasn't going to work at all. So as horrible as I felt, i agreed and we said our goodbyes forever. I packed up the things he gave me. Okay, last part, sorry for the length. He calls me last night apologizing for saying what he did and yelling at me. Then says he wants me to text him and that he loves me. I'm just so damn confused. I cant think straight anymore, i don't know what to do or think. I'm so lost and in pain. Any insight or comments would help. Thank you.", "summary": "Boyfriend and I broke up after 2 years for time to himself, he's been messing with my head and sending me signals then going back on them, I'm terribly confused and in pain and really need some help/advice."} {"id": "t3_xi3ui", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/m] been dating for 2 1/2 years with (20/f), and we are starting to loose interest(decently complex situation). What is a good way to spice things up in a relationship?", "post": "A little back story to understand my predicament:\n\nme and my girlfriend have been dating for two and a half years. We started out long distance about 5 hours away when we were both around 18. We saw each other every now in then when we could via greyhound(shitty bus service). We disliked the long distance and made plans to move in with each other for college after high school. We did this for 2 years and recently have moved back up to her house. However, the past several months including before the move she has been seeming less interested. This reached its peak when we our now not living together and I am living with her brother of 21, 30min away(I am good friends with him). Their is pros and cons to this situation such as i was able to get a job, her house is kinda shit, and the school up here is allot closer, but the bottom line is we are not living together anymore due to her feelings of disconnect. It may be a good thing because we are young and living together can take its tole.\n\nWe still have sex, but not as much. What I mean is we use to have allot of sex sometimes three times a day everyday(yes, it was good times), and this was mostly because of her wants I suppose mine as well. Now its about two to four times a week, and they all seem to be brought on by me not her. She also seems less interested in conversation, and many of my attempts seem to be shot down due to lack of interest. This was only somewhat true before as allot of the shit I talk about is random, but she would humor me basically all the time if she didn't care. I was perfectly fine with that. \n\nAlright, well that got a bit lengthy. Anyhow, I really don't want the relationship to be over and she still seems to want to be with me, but i feel this relationship may not last if things don't change.", "summary": "Went from long distance, to living together, to living separate but short distance, and the relationship has been dwindling the past couple of months."} {"id": "t3_32qztz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] am falling for my friend [20 F] who leaves in a few months, should i let her know?", "post": "Hi guys, first time posting here so i hope I've got the right place!\n\nThe situation right now is that i'm a student in accommodation, a rather large one at that with 15 people in it! However as the year has progressed, I've become really close with this girl in the flat from another country, here on exchange. We started playing board games with the flat in groups, however in the past 3 weeks or so it's grown into literally stayed up till 9am in the morning talking to her without skipping a beat, and we gel so well in hobbies, interests and everything! its fair to say i'm a bit smitten.\n\nHowever, the catch is that she is only here for a year, with her leaving in about 3 months. Knowing this is making it harder to stay friends, as any kind of interaction makes me sad, despite the fact i feel so happy around her. Even if i did tell her i liked her, and in an ideal world she said yes... it is VERY likely it wouldn't work out in the long run anyways, me being here and her going back home 1000's of miles away \n\nTherefore what i'm trying to say is, is telling her my true feelings for her a good idea or a bad one? I've tried to keep my distance the past few days to think through my feeling, which only confuses her more i imagine as we talked almost constantly. She's really enjoyed herself in this country so far and just adding more stress is definitively something i don't wish to do, even if i get the vibe that she may like me back. (of course I could be wrong on that, never was a good reader of women!)", "summary": "Have fallen for a friend, who i might never see again, is it right to tell her the truth on how i feel?"} {"id": "t3_2j8gm1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[20m] got really drunk one night and my ex came onto me, I kept saying no but eventually gave in. I told my girlfriend [18f] about it the next day and we talked it through. We're still together but I need advice.", "post": "Before any of you tell me, I know that I'm scum for cheating. I feel absolutely awful. I hate myself for it. I haven't eaten anything in 2 days and yesterday had to fight the urge to drive off the road because I can't stand myself. \nMe[20m] and my long distance girlfriend [18f] have been together for 4 months but I truly believe she's the one. I don't know why I cheated and I hate myself for it. She's giving me a second chance but I desperately need advice on what I can do that will help her believe that it will never happen again. I don't know how to gain her trust back and make her believe what I say again.", "summary": "Cheated on my girlfriend when I was drunk. Don't know how to earn her trust back when I know it won't happen again and I mean what I say."} {"id": "t3_2qim6j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 6 months, unsure whether to continue the relationship", "post": "Okay before I start this, I know that I'm only 19 and 6 months is nothing. We both full of ourselves and think that we're too mature to have relationship problems because relationship problems are for kids who don't know what they're doing or for adults who actually have problems. Unfortunately, we're not as smart as we think we are. \n\nBackground - We started off as friends with no intention of ever being together until one night that changed everything. Feelings were spilled yadda yadda. We didn't want to take it too seriously because we're barely adults and we know that we don't know the first thing about a real relationship. Plus we hated labels so we just refused to say we were together even though we hung out all the time, texted all the time, went on dates and stuff. A couple months into our \"relationship\" (still unlabeled at the time), she \"cheated\" on me. Now, we weren't official so I wasn't mad. Still I was hurt and she felt bad. After that point we realized that we cared about each other too much for this kind of shit to happen again. We slapped a label on it and have been exclusive ever since. \n\nSo things have been going great, my parents love her, all this good shit until I leave to visit family for the holidays while she stays home. I have this problem with trusting her because of what happened before, even though it was \"different\" because we weren't officially together. Still there's not a ton of trust. I have reason to believe that she might've done something tonight that I would not approve of.\n\nI haven't been able to enjoy my holidays because I keep thinking about her and it's getting in the way of family. This part is important. \n\nI'm beginning to realize that I'm not getting to the point. Maybe I don't know what my point is. Maybe I'm too immature to know what I really want. Point is...", "summary": "If she cheats on me again, what the hell do I do? If she didn't then what can I do to not be so distrusting? I'm so conflicted. And is this healthy for us?"} {"id": "t3_hlzb9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What do you do when you're pissed?", "post": "I'm seriously so angry with life right now, I just want to break chairs and throw glasses and mostly ruin my boyfriend's stuff. His sister is in town and although I wasn't expecting fancy dinner or anything actually romantic, I was at least expecting him to call me about 2 hours ago to tell me what our plans for the evening were. Instead he calls 10 minutes ago with \"We're waiting in line to get our tickets for (show) tomorrow, want to come join?\". This is a show that I'm not even attending, because he didn't think to mention that I'd have to buy my own ticket since his sister bought his months ago. It was sold out by the time I thought of it myself. So now I've sat at home waiting for him to call for 2 hours for an invitation to come wait in line? I just want to punch babies right now I'm so furious. I was actually in the car heading out before I realized how pissed I was over this, called him back and told him to call me later when there were actual plans for the evening. I've been talking about how important this anniversary was for months, and I'm absolutely devastated at how inconsiderate he's being. How do you cope when you just absolutely hate the world?", "summary": "My boyfriend is extremely inconsiderate and I want to break his everything. Know any healthy alternatives for anger relief? "} {"id": "t3_31eewi", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by pushing my mate in the back", "post": "So just to clarify, this actually happened nearly 2 years ago, we were on an AS economics trip to London. It was extremely poorly organized and resulted in 3 or 4 underpaid, overworked teachers trying to stop 50 underage teenagers from drinking. \n\nAnyway, so during one of these said poorly organized days we we walking through the middle of London, from the museum of coins that no one gives a fuck about, to the market of cheap shit that no one wants to buy. It's fair to say that I was thoroughly bored out of my mind. \n\nNow London is a big city and there's a lot of people in London. Sometimes (apparently I wasn't aware of this) one of these people can get accidentally caught in your group even though they're not actually. The worst bit about this story is that I'd clocked this guy well in advance of what I did. I'd noticed he was kinda trapped in our group... The poor man, he had no idea what was coming. \n\nThe bloke stops in the middle of the path, he's about to take a photo. I come walking up behind this lad and totally didn't even think that he might not be one of my mates, he looked just like one of them from behind.\n\n'TWAT!', I exclaim as I walk past him and give him an almighty shove in the back. \n\nI instantly knew I had fucked up. Very quickly, I knew I was even more fucked as I saw his iPhone spinning towards the floor.\n\nI couldn't bring myself to deal with this so I took the cowards way and just speedily walked off pretending that nothing happened.\n\nTo make the whole thing worse, one kid on the trip saw the whole thing unfurl and whilst I tried to reason with him that I did it on purpose because I don't like people who stop in the middle of the path to take photos (apparently at the time I was more willing to be labeled as someone who does that than to be labeled as someone who mistook a random bloke in the street for my friend), he knew I was lying and I could tell.", "summary": "Went on shit trip to London, accidentally pushed kid and called him a twat because I thought he was my mate, might have broken his phone but I never looked post impact, I was too ashamed to admit the truth afterwards."} {"id": "t3_31po4u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] 1 year. I want him to have more control over me? (help)", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been open minded in the bedroom, however I want him to have more control over me... I love the idea of being totally dominated... Mentally and Physically. \n\nHowever, I am finding it really hard to surrender to these desires because he has a really close female friend. As a person I am pretty confident and do not get jealous easily.. But something about there friendship seems off to me. For example they will go out for drinks alone together and I wont hear anything till the morning... plus I have never met her... He reassures me and tell me they are just friends and I shouldnt worry about it. Am I being a fool?", "summary": "I want to be more dominated by my partner, however his close relationship with his female best friend is holding me back. What are ideas for submission and how I can get past her?"} {"id": "t3_33zrqc", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "A conundrum in Georgia: leasing office woes (gift delivery never made it to me)", "post": "Hi all! I appreciate you looking at my post. As the title says, I'm dealing with a rather cruddy issue with my leasing office, and I'm not really sure how to proceed. Feel free to let me know if I should be posting this elsewhere.\nBasic story: my birthday was in early April, and recently a dear friend hinted that something special might have been dropped off in the office for me. I called the office yesterday to inquire and the lady who picked up immediately asked if I had gotten her voice message about my flowers. Errr, no, sure hadn't. No calls from them on my phone at all. Well, apparently about a week and a half ago a lovely floral arrangement was dropped off for me in the office, and allegedly they tried calling to notify me. The lady even admitted that she might have dialed incorrectly, and also she didn't bother to follow up as I go out of town at times (I have been home the entire month of April except for one night). They let my lovely flowers die and then threw out the remains, including the vase and any cards that might of come with it. I was aghast! I sheepishly asked my friend for the price tag of her nice gift and, including delivery fees, she paid over $80 for the office ladies to have a pretty bouquet to enjoy. I feel cheated, but I really don't know if I can hold them accountable for this debacle. Like, would you, as a neighbor, ignore a time sensitive item such as flowers and just let them wither on the vine? Can I ask them to somehow make amends, or should I just let sleeping dogs lie? My gut feeling is they wouldn't budge an inch. And best believe I'll be refunding my friend for her generosity! Any advice is greatly appreciated, and I even feel better now that I've had a chance to vent. Thanks!", "summary": "flowers for me were delivered to leasing office, which only gave bare minimum attempt to get them to me; now the bouquet is dead, I never even saw it, and I'm royally ticked off!"} {"id": "t3_2p8r3b", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My Room Mate [32/m] is being catfished and I can't make him realize.", "post": "So my room mate separated from his wife (divorce pending) in July. Before July he was talking about this hot polish girl he met on second life. \n\nWhen we moved in together after the divorce he's playing a lot of video games online with \"Jenny\". He'll play all night with her from after work around 6 pm EST to 12-2 EST. Or for those doing the math 12-8 AM Polish time.\n\nThen she's visiting her aunt that lives in our state but a few weeks before cancels the trip.\nNow she's getting a temporary passport, or is it a temporary visa? to come work at a local gym thats a franchise of the same company she works for (it's not I checked). The same company that doesn't have a location in the town she claims to be from. \n\nThen I'm talking to him one day and he's talking to his computer without headphones, reading the computer, then talking to the computer more. Later I ask \"So does she talk to you?\"\n\"oh no her mic is broken, don't know how to fix it tho!\"\n\nThis is strange but then a month ago she sends him to our local Best Buy where he finds a fully paid for", "summary": "Polish\" girl with holes in her story is lying to my room mate but also buying him things and spending huge amounts of time talking to hime playing games but only communicating through typing."} {"id": "t3_2aoy6n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with exgirlfriend [21F] update and some feedback needed", "post": "So I've already been here to talk about this and had some good feedback. \n\nFor the full story, these are the two previous topics I've made about it\n\n(Original Thread When I saw her in the gym after 2 years no contact)\n\n(After I've spoken to her in the gym)\n\nAnyways, I've now spoken to her for a fairly long time in the gym the couple of times I've seen her, she seems to want to talk to me and has come up to where I have been an clearly approached me. As said in the previous topic even saying randomly how she's broken up with her boyfriend and and asking if I have a girlfriend now.\n\nThe problem is I don't know when at all I'm next going to see her and it's just randomly us bumping into each other at the gym. I was hoping to see her in there tonight but she wasn't there which may have been down to having a long gymnastics competition on the weekend. \n\nI still have her phone number from when we used to talk, just under a couple of years ago. I could text her and ask if this is still her number and then have some small general talk but I don't know if that seems a little crazy that you've still had their number on your phone since then. So I don't know if it would be better to just wait for whenever I do bump into her again in the gym and ask for it, despite actually really having. I also don't know if it's too soon to go about trying to contact by phone? \n\nI don't want to ruin any chances I have with her as we've got on well at the moment but I also don't think I'm bumping into her enough to form any connection, not to mention it's hard to have any decent conversation in the gym.", "summary": "Feedback on what best to do in terms of chances with ex-girlfriend. Whether to text her or not as only bumping into her at the gym occasionally at the moment despite getting on well."} {"id": "t3_4dbj07", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26F] with my boyfriend [30M] of 5 years, communication in the bedroom going sour.", "post": "I've been with my wonderful boyfriend for 5 years. We're awesome together, the love and passion is clearly there and he bends over backward for me all the time. But there's one thing he's never really stepped up on, and that's foreplay and specifically oral sex.\n\nI can count on both hands the amount of times he's gone down on me in our relationships, whereas I do that for him constantly. I've tried to bring it up before, to ask whether he's uncomfortable doing it, and I've only ever gotten the answer \"No, I'm just lazy\". Which was hurtful and all, but I figured me expressing my desire for it more often would wake him up to the fact that that's not a good excuse.\n\nOf course, nothing really has changed. He does everything else well, but with us having been together so long, the little things are bugging me more. He doesn't really know how to \"turn me on\" either - with the fingernails on the back or playing with the hair while watching TV. As far as he's concerned, \"foreplay\" is heavy duty making out with some boob groping and then it's sex. The worst part is that whenever I actively try to ask for something different, or get him to understand what I want, he feels extremely inadequate and questions everything about our relationship. It's left me terrified and desperate because he's a very strong independent man who doesn't really let much bother him, and yet, it's impossible for me to give him any constructive criticism so that *I* can be happy. \n\nThis all came to a head last night where he went down on me but then lost his \"mojo\" after. I was really upset and took it personally, like it was proof that he really didn't like doing it, but it turns out I've just made him so self-conscious about everything that he's got performance anxiety (which is completely new for him). It leaves me feeling like a slave-driver and the mean person in the relationship, but I know that the alternative is me putting up with things I'm not happy with. I have no idea how to proceed. Help?", "summary": "Long term boyfriend doesn't understand the foreplay I want/need to be happy, and is dealing with feelings of inadequacy and performance anxiety as a result!! Don't know how to resolve..."} {"id": "t3_3vxnst", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my Friends [23 Ms] 8 years, I feel like I have outgrown/matured faster than my circle of friends. They are my best friends, but they continuously embarrass me, and put me in difficult positions", "post": "Hello all, so I had an epiphany moment on the weekend in which I realized my friends are extremely immature and crippling. \n\nWe have been friends since Grade 10: We all had common interests, we all play instruments and jam, we love to drink, we all were a little mischievous. We are a group of 7 guys that (5 have been hanging around since JK) have all been friends for a long time. I joined the group late, but have been welcomed into a circle of best friends. \n\nIn high school we all used to drink and do dumb stuff, but unfortunately it doesn't seem to stop for some. A few of us are more mature than the others, but there are 3-4 of them that are ridiculous.\n\nWe are all university educated guys, most have good jobs, and some are still in school. Girls obviously don't hang out with us because we are obnoxious, but regardless the shit continues.\n\nTo put into perspective how ridiculous things are: In the last month I will tell you all the situations I have been exposed to (without participating in). 1) Squirting mustard all over a bar table, 2) Starting a fight in the bar 3)Getting kicked out of the bar, 4) Annoying a waitress and not tipping her 5) Soy saucing a Chinese food restaurant's bathroom . It never ends\n\nI have now come to the point where this small minority of a group have embarrassed me to no end and our interests are conflicting. I work full-time and casually like to go out on weekends and have beers and some food, they don't like spending money. I don't like causing mischief anymore, they do. They wont go on vacation EVER, I want to go on trips.\n\nI don't know what to do! My best friends are idiots, and I seemingly am forcing myself to fit.", "summary": "My friends are immature, and I have outgrown them. How do I approach their stupidity without never talking to them agian."} {"id": "t3_2ntix8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Redditors with parents who were stoners/fine with alcohol or drug use, what was it like?", "post": "Long story short, three days after I graduated high school, my dad and I a talk that eventually led to the subject of drugs, which then lead to me learning that he'd be fine with me drinking/smoking pot occasionally. Because my experience with inebriating substances only came when I got a job and income around three months ago (two years later), I've only been intoxicated around him five times. It's been an odd feeling being able to openly be buzzed or stoned around him, and it's led me to wondering about how other teens used this permission more often than me and how their life was because of it.", "summary": "If you had a parent who let you drink/ get stoned, what were your childhood/teenage years like?"} {"id": "t3_1eghs4", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Hey /r/running! I've not been running for over 8 years, just started over. Could use some advice! (More info inside)", "post": "8 years ago, I was 18 years old. I was training basketball in Sweden in the second highest league, and training around 15-20 hours / week. I was fit as f***. That intensity was from age 16-18, 3 years. And previously, I'd been training in a soccer team, basketball team, as well as some other sports back and forth.\n\nSometimes, we had long distance running on the schedule. My record on \"10 kilometers = 6.2 miles\" is around 43-45 minutes, which is pretty decent in my opinion. \n\nNow, I've been lazy as shit for the last 8 years, I practically stopped traning before I was 20, and I've been not doing much at all since. Only casual push-ups and stuff in my apartment etc.\n\nI've picked up my runnign shoes again, and I've been out a couple of times since the end of April. It feels great after a nice little running session. I usually run the same route each time, around \"4.5 - 4.6 km = 2.85 miles\", and atm I am going in on 25.5 - 26 minutes. My aim is to go below 20 mins within a relatively close future.\n\nIts a bit heavier to run now, as I've gained some weight and lost some muscles. I'm at 194 cm and 109 kg atm (6 feet 4\u215c inches & 240 pounds).\n\nNow, I've never had any real strategy when running, as I've always had the cardio and mind to keep going, high speed etc. I've sort of lost both today, and I thought I'd start with some better technique or willpower until I am getting some of the fitness back (or whatever its called, I'm Swedish).", "summary": "I ran when I was 18 (26 now). Used to run fast. Want to do it again. Need tips."} {"id": "t3_1lg5fa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M20] have strong feelings for my boss [F30]", "post": "So my situation is a tad complicated, but here goes nothing. \n\nOver the past couple years, while working at my current job, I have developed strong feelings towards one of my managers [F30]. I have always been one of her favorites, however i'm not sure if it's because of my work ethic or something more. I honestly am not sure what to do as my attraction seems to grow stronger everyday and whenever i'm around her I just want to confess everything. She is one of the most beautiful girls and we click on so many levels and our conversations just feel natural (Which says a lot since I'm incredibly socially awkward.) I'm not really sure how to explain it but I feel like something's there. Whenever i'm feeling slightly out of it she **always** knows and asks about it. When I ask why shes asking she always says something along the lines of \"because i care about you\". Not sure if that's a motherly thing because of the age difference or something else. \n\nTo make things more complicated, I have been in and on and off long distance relationship with a girl that has been very rocky and i have always questioned if she is really the *one*. However, even after saying that I just can't end the relationship because I'm one of those guys who doesn't make any moves on girls so relationships are a rare occurrence (2 GF's both came onto me first). \n\nBasically I'm just asking for some guidance on both situations. Like I said previously, I'm very socially awkward and have no idea how to handle both these situations.", "summary": "I[M20] have **crazy** feelings for my manager[F30], but I also have an on and off long distance relationship that I don't know what to do with."} {"id": "t3_22ze41", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Was I wrong?", "post": "Using a throwaway account just in case.\nI may have fucked up badly. I've been dating a girl for about a year and a half now and we started talking about moving in together. I'm reluctant to do so for a few reasons, one of the main ones is the condition she keeps her place in. I'm not a neat freak or anything but I do try to keep my place clean and tidy.\n\nI went to her place on Saturday before she woke up (I have my own key) and it was just a pigsty. Her place is always messy and it's something I've talked to her about before. I've cleaned and tidied it for her on a few occasions, thinking that if I led by example, it would inspire her. She is sick a lot (asthma, cold and flu) and part of the reason I believe is the condition of her apartment.\nOn Saturday, Their was garbage all over the floor, dirty dishes everywhere (some with mold) clothes thrown everywhere. Her grocery shopping was left on the floor and not put away and the place stank. She also has pets and they weren't being kept properly either.\n\nI was angry as this is no way for someone to live. I told her how I felt about this and that I wouldn't come to her place if this was the condition it was in. It just got to me as this was something we'd talked about before. I didn't raise my voice or threaten violence or anything like that (she knows that's not the kind of man I am.) I just tried to calmly explain my reasoning. I have a non Canadian accent (I'm an immigrant), and when I get angry it gets thicker which is the only way someone could tell the difference. \n\nI told her I wasn't going to stay there that day and was going home. We haven't talked since which is unusual for us. I did send her a text on Saturday night wishing her a good shift at work but with no response. \n\nI guess my question to Reddit is was I being unreasonable? I've started very early stages of looking into buying a house and living together but this was one of the sticking points.", "summary": "Girlfriend is a bit of a slob and I'm not happy about it. Confronted her about it and now I'm worried I've messed everything up. Sorry about the length but I feel context is important."} {"id": "t3_1nfo3b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(23/m) partner(20/?) says she's a genderqueer and wants me stop addressing as a female.", "post": "Hey guys I have an unusual issue I just don't know how to deal with. \n\nMy girlfriend of three years told me that she doesn't associate with either gender and wants me to stop addressing her as anything female related. One of the main things that bother me is that she wants me to stop referring to her as a 'she' and now start calling her a 'they', so I'd have to say: \"they want me to start calling them my partner instead of girlfriend.\". \n\nI can't get my mind to it, how do I go about this? I'd really like some insight from different people because my partner is giving me a hard time when I have trouble adapting.", "summary": "partner wants me to stop associating her with anything female related, even stop addressing her as a 'she' and start calling her a 'they'."} {"id": "t3_3hsr0f", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My [27/m] SO [26/f] has trust issues, had sex with someone else before the DTR talk. Do I dump her ass?", "post": "So the title has some ambiguity to it, but I need your advice Redditors. This is a throwaway because I know she uses Reddit too, and not sure if she is on this sub or not.\n\nWe met online about a month ago and have been seeing each other pretty seriously since then. \n\nSo fast forward to three dates in, we have a long and enjoyable date, during which we were talking about dating and how everybody dates multiple people at the same time, as is the hookup culture. I won't state what I said, as she may identify me here, but she said that though she had dated multiple dudes at the same time, she doesn't anymore.\n\nAt the end of this date, she was going on a trip where I wouldn't see her for a few days. I wished her well. Then a couple days later, she doesn't have her phone, and a few weeks later admits to having sex with basically a BFF/fuckbuddy on this trip. \n\nOn date 5 (5 or 6) at this point, she is very affectionate and drunk and wants me to commit to exclusivity on the spot. I had asked a prying question about her, and she very quickly said she didn't want to answer it.\n\nShe wanted to define the relationship (DTR) before I even asked about this encounter and found out for sure. \n\nI didn't think much of it now, but now I'm seeing that she is the one with major trust issues, and I had done nothing to cause this. \n\nWhat are your thoughts Reddit?\n\nBefore you have the DTR conversation, you can fuck everybody you want, I get it. We have a hookup culture in the West, and while I don't like it, it is what it is. But I don't like when I straight up asked her, she dodged the question.\n\nSo my question is: Should I dump her? And/or should I hook up with someone else to better explore what's out there? \n\nWhat are your general thoughts?", "summary": "My significant other has sex with someone else before defining the relationship, but rushes to define the relationship after and wants exclusivity after she fucks this dude. I think this is unfair, what do I do?"} {"id": "t3_2m70ic", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26F] was disowned 5 yrs ago by my Father [60F], now things on the mend. How do I introduce my GF of 7 years?", "post": "Control freak father. I had to lie for many years regarding my sexuality because he did believe me and thought I was brainwashed. \n\nFast forward 5 yrs later. I have been with the same woman for 7 years, who he barely met once prior to the disowning thing. Now our relationship is on the mend because I think he has grown and changed his opinions, but Im not sure how he will respond to meeting her. \n\nI really want to figure this out before the holidays because I dont want to go visit with my family without my GF. Also, my allegiance is to her family because they accepted me with open arms at every holiday over the last few years. So I definitely need to have plenty of time for them on the holidays. \n\nAnother complicating factor. My mother lies to my father constantly to \"protect him.\" She has met my GF many times and even gone out to dinner with us, but my dad has no idea. She would have to pretend she had never met my GF before, which is just awkward for everyone. My whole family walks on eggshells around him and is so afraid of pissing him off or of him making a scene, so we won't make any progress unless I force it. Ugh. Any advice would be much appreciated.", "summary": "Should I ask him/explain the importance of him meeting her or just pop over for a surprise or casual meeting at a party?"} {"id": "t3_4i34dl", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I've got several, ever-changing sources of income, and I want to be above-board with the government about it. Please advise!", "post": "Hey folks, I'll cut right to the chase here. For the last ~5 months, I've been working for a guy who pays me an hourly rate and he writes me a check every two weeks. No tax forms filled out, nothing on the books - the plan is to do 1099 for now. He's in the process of building a business and there's an open dialogue about making me an official employee (W2s and all that fun stuff) and I'm not too concerned about that. \n\nI also do side work when I can: I'm a charter boat captain and mainly work for one small company. Again, no forms, just a hand-written check, but in this case there's been no talk of how to handle taxes and whatnot. The owner seems to have his own system, and I frankly don't want to be an employee because it keeps me a little more free. That said, an audit wouldn't bode well for me. \n\nOn top of all this, I also do occasional (6-10 hours/week) charters for a rental company, and in this case the renter pays me cash directly (the rental company's way of being uninvolved in the transaction).\n\nWhat I'd like to do is get all the proper licenses to have a business under my name and record everything as income for the business - so far I've got a San Diego county business tax certificate, but I know there's more to it than that. Then I'd put all my cash earnings - fully claimed - into their own account and pay my taxes from those funds. \n\nDoes anyone have some insight how I might do that in San Diego? I'm not too sure what my income for the year will be, as I'm just starting out in this venture, but a rough estimate would be around $50k. \n\nThank you so much for any input - I hope this wasn't too wordy, just wanted to make sure the right info got in here. \n\nAlso I understand everyone has their opinion about tax laws, rates, etc - as do I - but for the time being I'd like to hang around within the realms of the law.", "summary": "I do lots of work for different entities and don't want to deal with 1099s, I'd rather just have people pay my business (I'm the only \"employee\")."} {"id": "t3_27h0m4", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by causing a car accident, then not taking responsibility for it", "post": "(throwaway account) Like most of these, this did not happen today. I was either in my late teens or early 20's, driving to work early in the morning. I was working crazy hours and not getting enough sleep at the time, and as you know- \n\n-fuck this. I'm still trying to make excuses for it, even now! Sorry, I was definitely awake and alert enough to see that my light was fucking red. Anyway, I ran a red light going ~45-50mph, thinking that the cars turning out in front of me (coming from the opposite direction) were making yielded left turns on green. But no, they had an arrow and my light was fucking red, so you probably already know what happens next. I didn't exactly t-bone him, it was more of a head-on (I'm guessing he tried to swerve back, but by then it was too late). Both cars totaled, police and ambulance show up, they start talking to him first and from me listening from a distance, I gather that he has no license, doesn't speak any English, and has no ID or anything whatsoever. So they come talk to me after getting essentially no where with him. I saw my chance to push the blame to him, and I took it like the fucking piece of shit that I am. I told the cops that my light was green and they had no reason not to believe me.\n\nFast forward ~30 days or so, I get a subpoena stuck to my front door. It turns out he isn't an illegal citizen, his wallet just wasn't on him at the time of the accident. He probably met with the public defender to try and fight the charge. So I show up to court, get up in front of all those people and reiterate the lie that I told the cops. I will never forget the way he looked at me when I finished. He received a jail sentence, got fined heavily and got his license taken away. When you think about it, the only reason the truth wasn't and never will be recovered is because he couldn't speak English. I still feel like shit to this day and I will never tell anyone what I did. Why couldn't I just not have been colorblind for those 2 seconds? I fucked up.", "summary": "I ran a red light, crashed, saw an opportunity to be a piece of shit, took said opportunity, other guy lost in court."} {"id": "t3_11l03z", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "My life is slipping.", "post": "I have ADHD and generalized anxiety, and my mom recently took me off of both of my medicines because she decided medication was evil and she'd rather watch my life go down the drain than have my sleep schedule messed up a little because of medication. I feel like it's next to impossible for me to get anything done because I spend more time worrying than actually doing it, and then I just decide to ignore it until the very last minute until it's absolutely crucial to get it done.\n\nI'm a senior in high school and I'm absolutely terrified of applying to college. Everyone I know has applied to at least one college and I'm afraid to apply because I'm afraid of rejection. I don't have clubs or sports to make me seem active, because I don't like to commit to things like that and then have to miss events because I'm busy. I'd just rather not be busy. But not having any clubs and sports looks really bad on a college application, so I've heard from many people. It's too late to join anything now.\n\nI'm scared. I don't have much time until it's inevitable for me to face all these responsibilities and I'm so afraid. What if I fail? What if no colleges accept me because they catch on that I'm a total loser even though I'm very smart?", "summary": "I'm putting everything off and being extremely apathetic and I see it having bad results but I'm still doing nothing about it."} {"id": "t3_zuflm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[17M] My girlfriend of almost two years now shows no affection whatsoever, and it's depressing. [17F]", "post": "We started out a strong, normal relationship... but as time dragged on she became colder I suppose you could say. I love her and all but it's getting old, we'll be together doing... something, whatever, but as you know people like to kiss... hug, or show affection in general. Well everyone except my girlfriend. I've tried waiting it out and it's just making me want more. I'm not kidding when I say that my girlfriend hates kissing, although she used to enjoy it. When I say kiss I don't mean making out, I mean literally a peck. She will push me away or tell me something like \"Your breath stinks.\" (While it doesn't, you just have to trust me on this one) just to avoid physical interaction. It's been getting to me recently, and it's actually bringing my confidence down about myself. I don't know if I'm ugly, or I'm clingy... it's just mind boggling. I've tried talking about this with her and she simply says, \"I just don't like it\". But honestly I feel as if that's an excuse and this has been ongoing for about 7-8 months. I get jealous of seeing something as simple as couples that simply hug and give a peck when they see each other, I get none of that except a cold \"hello\", it's just not the same anymore and I don't know what to do. I don't even know if she loves me anymore...", "summary": "girlfriend shows no affection for no reason. I want it, dunno if I'm ugly clingy or god knows what, have tried talking about it, no dice. halp"} {"id": "t3_21zbui", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Just found out the guy (29) I've (25f) been dating is living with an ex girlfriend", "post": "She needed a place to stay and he let her live with him temporarily. Supposedly she's moving this month. \n\nHe's referred to her as his friend every time he's mentioned her. We even hung out together once. I don't think he ever would have told me the truth had it not come out. We were with his family and his mom mentioned her as an ex.\n\n I'm just really disappointed and worried about his hiding it. A) he either lied just because he's a liar, or B) there's something to hide. We've only dated a handful of times, so I'm not trying to be dramatic. It's just unnerving and seems like a red flag. Is that justified reasoning?", "summary": "guy referred to his female roommate as a friend. His mom let it slide that she's an ex. Am I being emotional/too jealous o or is this a red flag?"} {"id": "t3_3irooj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my Ex-GF [18 F] of 6 months, she says she wants to be with me and build with me, proceeds to ignore me.", "post": "Okay, to start we were together for a short while last year and during that time it was great I really liked her and felt it was reciprocated. During that time though I found out she was talking to other guys behind my back who were attempting to sway her away from me. Eventually we broke up but remained somewhat close to the point where she would still come to be with her problems. (which was a lot)\n\n I cared about her a lot and I still do, recently she started at college and suddenly tells me that she wants to build with me and be with me for my success. Although, I don't really believe her. \n\nSince the day I've met her she's blown me off I can't count how many times, takes an unnatural amount of time to text back, and ultimately ignores me to the point where I feel she doesn't care. But the few times she does respond to me it's something that really makes it seem like she does care about me. Her actions towards me just leave me confused and feeling left out, I feel like I'm being lead on but I don't know. I try to discuss it with her but she's generally distant and avoids it. Just not sure what to do from here, just drop her completely or keep trying?", "summary": "Ex that I care for a lot tells me she wants to build with me and be with me, proceeds to ignore me and leave me feeling down. Drop her or not?"} {"id": "t3_14bb02", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [26f] doesn't want to dance with me anytime I [26m] ask, but when I gave a friend permission to dance with her she went instantly.", "post": "We have been together for over 6 years and every time we go to a club or place where there is dancing I want to dance, but she doesn't want to. We danced a couple times before during our first year together, but since then she doesn't want to dance with me. I've asked her a few more times throughout the 5 years and she would say she doesn't want to. I figured that she does not like to dance because she is shy or something. However, when she is drunk she sometimes shyly dances with herself (moving of arms etc, swinging side to side, etc.)\n\nThen sometime ago we were out with a few friends and we had a few drinks. A friend asked me if he can dance with my girlfriend. I said yes thinking that she was going to say no because she never wants to dance with me. So on my part I kind of want to see what she would say. Then when she was asked and got up immediately I was surprised along with our other friends that she went dancing with him. Apparently she was drunk from what she told me, but I didn't think so because she only was able to comprehend and hesitated when my friend asked her to dance. They didn't dance long, but it was for about 2 songs.\n\nLater on, about 30 minutes after she danced, I wanted to dance so I asked her and she said no. The next day I got mad at her about that night. She said she didn't remember me asking her to dance. Then later on she says she doesn't feel comfortable dancing with me in front of friends.\n\nConsidering that I usually like to dance and she doesn't. Am I at fault here? Do I have a reason to be mad at her? Why does she do this?", "summary": "My girlfriend usually never wants to dance, but immediately danced with a friend who asked with my permission. I ask later on that night and she says she doesn't want to."} {"id": "t3_39ip9l", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Yet to have a pain free run, advice please?", "post": "Right, so I have never been a very active person until I recently started excersicing and watching what I eat to lose some weight. It's through that that I found running, and realised how enjoyable it is and how it is something I would love to do. So I set about starting c25k, progress wise, I'm on W5D1. However I'm yet to have a pain free run. \n\nI've got Tibial Torsion, which means my feet turn out basically, my right foot considerbly more than the left. I also believe I have Plantar Fasciitis at the moment, as well as calf tightness. I over pronate and I am flat footed. Apart from that my feet are fine!!! \n\nI've tried different shoes, Insoles, and supports, taping, excersises etc etc and find the best thing for me so far has been barefoot running, and I'm considering buying some vibram five fingers shoes? I tried out running in sufring/water shoes and still got the pain. So far only running in my socks has been painless enough to run for a considerable amount of time and begin to enjoy it! \n\nI'm due to see a physiotherapist in the next month (NHS are very very slow) but for now I just wondered if anyone had been through any of the problems I've described, and what helped them? Also whether anyone has any of above problems and wears five fingers, or minimalist running shoes?", "summary": "I have tibial torsion, plantar fascittis, over pronation, calf tightness, and flat feet. Advice on one or more?"} {"id": "t3_1r0wx7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my Girlfriend [24 F] of 1.5 years. I need advise on breakup", "post": "Hi Reddit, \n\nI need advise on how I should approach this situation. Me and my gf have been going out for the last 1.5 years. She got a secondment program and she decided to take it and go overseas for 4 months, this was in July.\n\nI wouldn't describe our relationship to be perfect, we had our ups and downs, and I tried to change myself so that she'll be happy to be with me. Since she left, I talk to her regularly but for the past two months I've been getting this feeling that I do not want to be with her. \n\nThe past two months have been pretty relaxed and I didn't feel guilty for not doing something and in general I was happier. in short I realised i do not want to be with her. Since she is overseas I do not know how to deal with this. \n\nAs of late, I don't communicate with her as regularly because I want to distance myself from her. She will be back in the next two weeks, and she is buying me all these things and I honestly don't want anything from her. I need to tell her how I feel but I don't know how to do it and I know I don't want to do it over the phone.\n\nif you have any advise for me please it would be much appreciated.", "summary": "i want to break up with my gf who is overseas and she will be back in 2 weeks with all these gifts that i do not want."} {"id": "t3_ep90p", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Need some input on my situation", "post": "I have been in a relationship with the girl that I am with now for about 3 years now. Things started out great, but as time goes on I find myself more, and more irritated with the girl and the situation. I want to break it off, and I will soon, but that is not what I am here for.\n\nMy current GF and I share a friendship with another couple. They are some of my closest friends, both of them are, and I would really hate to mess that up. But, I am falling for my friends girl, and I am falling for her hard. Its getting to the point where I dont want to hang out with them because its hard to see them together. I also think I am picking up signals from her. She has begged us to spend the night at their place, she has yelled at him for cutting our evening short while looking at me, along with other things that make me think she may be into me. I am probably just crazy, but I feel like these are signals.\n\nThey went through a hard spell not to long ago, and I have a feeling that they are not at 100%, and I feel like they are just with each other to not be alone. Their hugs seem forced, and the time that they do spend together seems like a clock watching party. \n\nRA, I plan on being single not to long from now, and I need some help. If they break up, would it be acceptable for me to approach her and let her know how I feel? If my friend took my ex out I dont think I would be upset, right now it feels like we are roomies and thats it. \n\nWe are all 21-23, and attending college.", "summary": "I think I am in love with my good friend's gf, and my current gf and I are friends with them. Wat do?"} {"id": "t3_p7jgj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's something that happened to you by complete coincidence that really made you think?", "post": "Odd question, but just now on our way home from a night out, we decided to stop by Jimmy John's to grab something to eat. I didn't order anything, and as we were leaving I noticed a completely untouched JJ Gargantuan sub just sitting on the sidewalk next to a full large drink, with a receipt under it from half an hour ago. I felt bad about taking it, but my friend convinced me to. I was SO excited to get home and eat it (being buzzed and hungry made me completely unconcerned about where it came from or anything that could have been wrong with it), but then 2 blocks later we passed a friendly homeless man checking a bin for cans. Homeless people are actually quite a rarity on this campus, and I asked if he would like a sandwich. He sheepishly said he would gladly take some if I was willing to give. Gave him the whole thing, and left feeling good, but a little strange: like I was being watched.", "summary": "Was gifted a cosmic sandwich by some other-worldly power, and moments later was given the choice to either eat it, or give it to a homeless man."} {"id": "t3_2j0ne5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] can't commit to a relationship with my [19 F]", "post": "I'm 18 and have never been in a serious relationship. I have, I suppose, a girlfriend. She's fun to talk to, we share a lot of the same interests, but she wants to turn it up a notch.\n\nHere's the thing, I've never really been bothered with relationships. I'm quite happy keeping my own company and I really value the freedom of being independent. But I do really like this girl, and I'd like to see more of her, but I simply can't cross that threshold. I'm really worried that I'm just going to end up upsetting her because she expects more from me. \n\nThis has happened so many times now, talking to a girl, she wants to take it further, I don't want to commit. Is this going to be me now? I like companionship, someone to share experiences with, someone to talk to and someone to cuddle with. But the relationships I see seem to be about being on call 24/7, spending all day returning texts and basically throwing a whole lot of your personal time away for smalltalk.\n\nWhat am I to do here? Either I tell her I'm not interested and I maybe loose her as a friend if it upsets her or I go for it. The thing is, if I do, it could either go really nicely, or it just raises the stakes and makes things worse if I realise it isn't for me and want to get out.\n\nI've also gotta say, for some reason, I feel that relationships are something I need to somehow keep secret or lie about to others. I get some weird mental block there. I'm generally quite reserved, and I don't know if that's got anything to do with it, but it's like the person that I love is a personal thing, and personal things should stay private. That's a shitty way to put it, but it just seems weird to me, even though everybody does it!\n\nA psychiatrist could probably have a field day with me!", "summary": "Can never quite bring myself to commit to a relationship, don't want to be an arsehole by stringing someone along either"} {"id": "t3_3mn7yj", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Why is it that when you have finally forgotten about your problems for a moment and everything seems good life finds a way of rubbing it in your face?", "post": "Hi, I am a 19 year old mexican male who two months ago had to move out to the US. My life was not precisely perfect but it was peaceful, had a girlfriend (we didnt break up because of me moving out but it did certainly make everything harder) and each weekend I could just go out with my close 5 friends and unload all problems and worries for a moment.\n\nI was enrolled at a University with 40% scholarship and 6 class credit because of my IB Bilingual Diploma, now not wanting to brag but its part of my frustration that I had to fight a lot for that Diploma, teachers who did not want to reccomend me and told me I would never make it, parents who did not know how to pay for it... basically never believed in me in this matter but I proved them all wrong when I got a 31 (24 is needed to get the diploma) a B in my English extended essay (a 4000 word research paper, 4 guys and I were the second generation to do this paper in English) and a B in my Theory of Knowledge paper which my teacher pronosticated for a C with danger of becoming a D.\n\nSo I get my diploma, life again seems to go great, my uni tells me about the 40% scholarship (we expected a 20% since nobody thought Id get the diploma), now a little context here my fathers business was in decline and money was really short this is the reason why we moved out. All of a suddent life decides to give me a sucker punch with the whole moving out thing, US schools dont recognize the IBO so my diploma was a big waste, went from private school to community college which because of my international status costs the same as my private school WITHOUT scholarship. (fast", "summary": "here dont want to make this too long, we thought Id get in-state tuition but turns out our visas get the international tuition so another suckerpunch)."} {"id": "t3_3e2koz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [22M] \"Richard\" with his parents [40s?], they no longer want him moving into a house together with me and another friend because the other friend has a rattlesnake. And a fer-de-lance. And a few cobras.", "post": "Two friends and I have been planning to rent a house together this coming school year. I'll call the friends \"Richard\" (the one backing out) and \"Thomas\" (the one with snakes). Thomas has forty or fifty snakes, of which five are venomous. It isn't just a hobby for him; he's an honest-to-god expert -- the nearby hospital called him for help when someone showed up with a snakebite. Some of these snakes are extremely dangerous. Thomas has had these snakes with him for years (including in a dorm room -- don't ask) without incident. He has permits for all of them.\n\nWe were within a day of signing a lease when Richard's parents called him and said things to the effect of \"oh god please no.\" As a result, he's dropping out of the lease. This is a bit of a pain. I personally am not super keen on the idea of finding a third person for a lease this late in the day, even putting aside the difficulty of finding someone who would be okay with Thomas's snakes. I also get the impression that Richard would very much like to move in with us, but is unwilling to upset his parents so greatly.\n\nI'm open to any advice, whether that advice is \"move on and find a third renter,\" \"here's something you could try to make Richard's parents feel better about this,\" or \"here's something you could try to show Richard that he shouldn't listen to his parents on this.\"", "summary": "roommate1's parents are scared of roommate2's snakes, have convinced roommate1 to drop out of plans to rent house."} {"id": "t3_2z08oz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 F] with my BF [32 M] 2 years, he can't get over all my friends are still friends with my ex", "post": "I have cut my ex out of my life, but we were together a long time and our worlds were merged. My current bf and I have been trying to work on his overprotectiveness and jealousy issues a lot which stems from fear of abandonment. He tries to convince me that my friends are no good, they don't have anything going for them, and that I am better off meeting people I look up to. He even said that because they didn't take my side he doesn't trust them to be there for me. \n\nThe thing is, my friends are good people. They may be a bit passive, but would never put me in harms way. They respect me enough to not invite my ex and I to the same outings. I've tried making new friends, but BF was actively making sure that he got all the attention and guilt tripped me whenever I was out without him.\n\nHow do I tell him that I will not abandon all my friends based on the fact that they are still friends with my ex? I don't think this should be an issue in our relationship at all.", "summary": "BF mad that my friends are still friends with my ex, has abandonment issues. Looking for advice to bridge a conversation to let him see his irrationality."} {"id": "t3_25h87i", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "What can I say to make her understand?!", "post": "ok, so i (M/17) have this girl in my class (F/18) who is absolutely astonishingly beautiful! the only twist to this clich\u00e9 is that I am not in love with her whatsoever. \n\nshe is unbelievably kind to everyone, her smile can light up an entire room, her face is flawless and she is so damn quiet it almost feels like she's shy most of the time. \n\ni just want her to understand her potential and beauty as a human being without being creepy/putting her on a pedestal. because sometimes, when that smile of hers is gone, it just feels like she needs to know. so how in the world do i tell her in a friendly manner? i don't want to be more than friends, nor do i want to fuck her. i just want her to know how extremely beautiful she is.", "summary": "girl in my class is a solid 10 in both looks and personality. i want to tell her about it without making it look like i'm some thirsty looser who want a relationship."} {"id": "t3_31hk9g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 F] broke up with my ex in August and still can't get over him", "post": "I was dating a guy last summer, and I still can't get over him. I know this is totally crazy because we weren't in a long term relationship or anything even serious. We ended the relationship on good terms, we mutually agreed to breakup because after the summer we were going to be literally halfway across the world from each other. \n\nI think this is taking such a toll on me because he's the first guy in my 23 years that I felt myself falling in love with. When I was with him I never felt so at home before, and he made me feel so loved. I felt something with him that I never felt with anyone else before - I remember one time when I was looking in his eyes, I felt like I was drugged, and that honestly scared the hell out of me. But what do I know? My past relationships, if you can call them that, before him weren't anything real, they were either friends with benefits or someone I was dating, just so I could have someone there. Maybe I'm just an immature girl whining about a guy she should have gotten over a long, long time ago. \n\nIt's been 8 months, and I know I should be over him, but I still think about him too much and I look at pictures of us together far more than I'd like to admit. I've unfollowed him on Facebook and don't talk to him anymore because I know I'll just get too attached.\n\nThe rational part of my brain is telling me that I'm over romanticizing the relationships, only remembering the good parts, and that we were together for such a short period of time that we didn't even get past the honeymoon phase. But the irrational and emotional part of me can't stop clinging onto what we had. \n\n/r/relationships, how do I get over him? I've tried the whole spending time with friends, going out, etc, which do help, but there are still those nights, like tonight, when I just miss him terribly.", "summary": "Can't get over a guy that I briefly dated last summer, he's the first guy I felt like I was falling in love with, how do I get over him?"} {"id": "t3_4dyeu5", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU: Shot a stream of pressurized water at a girl's eyes", "post": "Disclaimer: I'm the newest newfag that ever newfaged. First Post.\nThis happened like 5 minutes ago. (Also sorry for shit grammar)\n\nSo I'm sitting in chemistry class bored as fuck trying to pay attention to a conversation my friends are having about starting an avocado business (Boring as FUCK). I start fucking around with the weird pressurized sinks that we use for science and such. I hold the water back using my thumb and a giant mist of water explodes in the air. everyone noticed and laughed. I tried to re-create the situation but to my dismay, when i place my thumb on the sink nozzle, a steady, concentrated stream of water hits my female classmate directly in the eye. Everyone gives me the stink eye and I awkward say \"sorry\". The girl's eye got kind of reddish and now I'm going to be shunned for a couple days. RIP", "summary": "bored as shit in class. place thumb on a pressurized sink nozzle that shoots a stream of concentrated water in a girl's eye."} {"id": "t3_2an72w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 21M with 19F. Have had unprotected sex for six months without STI discussion. Should I bring it up now?", "post": "So ill preface this by saying I love my gf very much and trust her completely. \n\nWe'd been talking for a few months and were comfortable with each but hadn't had sex. Our group is at a retreat. We get away for the night and start messing around. She wants to have sex but I have no condom. She asks if I'm comfortable with pulling out. I say no. This kind of worries me that she is prepared to have sex with no condom not being on birth control and no discussion of STIs. Then a few weeks later we are in my bed and I'm putting the condom on but she says I don't need because she got started on birth control. I was inexperienced so I thought this behavior was normal. Me being extremely horny I said ok and just got at it without thinking about STIs.\n\n Then for the next six months I don't wear a condom have sex like everyday. She's on the pill. We have a fantastic time and our relationships grows and blossoms. She's a wonderful person and I love her to death. \n\nBut here I am a bit worried about our reckless behavior in the past. I guess I trusted her and she trusted me. I have had one girlfriend whom I had unprotected sex with over two years ago (said she had been tested) and a one night stand a year ago with a condom. That's all my sexual history. I'm ashamed to say I've never been tested. I do lot know her history.\n\nShould I bring any of this up? Would there be a point now? I don't want this to ruin our trust or anything.. I understand we were both reckless but nothing came of it. Is there any tactful way of bringing this up or should I leave it?", "summary": "have had unprotected sex with gf for six months. She is on pill. We have never discussed STI's. Should I bring up now? I do not want to ruin trust."} {"id": "t3_4ib5u9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24 F] rejected a long time friend [23 M] before they actually confessed; can we still be friends?", "post": "I had an inkling in the last few years of our friendship, but chose to ignore / not read into any 'signs' as we have been friends for a long while, and he used to like another friend of mine. \n\nA mutual friend recently confirmed he had feelings for me, after I suspected her of purposely inviting him to outings and leaving us alone together on more than one occasion. \n\nApparently it's been a while... And a lot of other mutual friends/acquaintances were aware they had feelings for me all this time... So I messaged him, and turned him down. Without him actually ever confessing. \n\nHe replied... really politely... but we haven't spoken since.\n\nI don't really know what to do. Are we still friends? Do I try to remain friends? Or just leave it be? He's a really great guy, but I'm just not attracted to him... I feel like I've lost a good friend.", "summary": "I rejected a long time guy friend before he worked up the courage to ask me out (found out from a mutual friend). Can and should we remain friends?"} {"id": "t3_3djfme", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by freezing up when it mattered", "post": "This technically happened yesterday, but within the last 24 hours, so that counts, right?\n\nAnyway, I think a little background info is necessary to understand this fu. I just graduated from high school, and in high school I learned that I have no social skills and possibly social anxiety. I also couldn't say a word to girls, as I was extremely shy, and this resulted in various stupid crushes.\n\nNow, recently I had been trying to get past my shy tendencies when talking to girls. I have been talking to this girl, who I'll call Alicia, on Facebook fairly often, and figured why not ask her to hang out sometime? We had hung out with a group of friends before, so we knew each other, but we talked primarily on Facebook because she lives about an hour out of town in the country.\n\nTo my surprise, she agreed to hang out and even invited me to a youth thing, which was yesterday. So I was pretty stoked, but also extremely nervous the entire day, which is understandable I think.\n\nBecause it was a group thing, I brought a friend, and we showed up, albeit late because I had to work. To cut to the chase, we showed up, talk to a couple other friends, and then sat around on the grass, when Alicia and her sister walked up. So it was just me, my friend, and those two. I completely froze up. As in I don't think I said a word directly to her outside of \"hey\" and \"bye.\" I was there, and I listened, but I barely spoke because I couldn't think of anything to say. After 30 minutes, she left, and I knew I screwed up. \n\nThis isn't exactly a massive fu compared to others on here, but man I feel like shit right now. I was the one to suggest we hang out, and I didn't even really talk to her. I feel like such an idiot, and I probably ruined any chances I had at anything.", "summary": "Asked a girl to hang out, she agreed, I showed up, froze, and wasted a good opportunity with a nice girl because I'm Shire than Bilbo Baggins."} {"id": "t3_2kpxsc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [40 M] with my lover [32 F] 1 month, slept with best friend (married) in the recent past", "post": "Met this girl at a married friends family function. my friend is almost family, I dated his sister for 15 yrs which just fell apart, we haven't been together for 2 years. So i meet this new girl 32F last month. We hook up and the sex is AMAZING. Nothing is off the table. 32F works indirectly with my buddy. He has been married for 4 yrs and has a daughter and step daughter.\n\nShe tells me a \"secret\" that she had sexual relations with my married friend. I am in complete shock. Now I have to face her, My friend, his wife and my EX? She is a hot mess. smoking, drinking, you name it. She also told me that she cheated on her ex fianc\u00e9. Im seeing a pattern of self destruction. \n\nMy concern is my friend and his wife, my ex and family. How can I proceed to visit them knowing this secret? I usually visit once a week and hang out for dinner. I don't think that I can face any of them. I know its not my fault or responsibility but I don't think that I can handle it. \n\nPlus now I am obsessed with trying not to think about her 32F screwing my married friend. The sex is so good, ANYTHING GOES, our sexual appetites are voracious. I know nothing good will come of it. I already don't trust her.\n\nShould I stay away from everyone involved? I am devastated. I thought about telling my ex, but i don't want to be the guy who screwed a home wrecker, spilled the beans and ruined a marriage with children and was screwing a \"slut\".", "summary": "Me [40 M] with my lover [32 F] 1 month, slept with best friend (married) in the recent past"} {"id": "t3_1ob5mc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Tried something new, not sure how it went.(M20)(F20)", "post": "Told my real close friend that I am into her, and not sure how she has taken it, me and her have been real close for a while, but unfortunately she has a boyfriend, who she hasn't been on best terms with recently, but they seem to be getting on again. So I told her after I left her place, and from what I know, if girls aren't interested they will usually tell you right away, and let you down easy, or just completely destroy you, neither has happened.\n\nShe just hasn't replied, at all, nothing, I let her know roughly 24 hours ago and still nothing, so anyone got any idea to what might be going on? The only thing I can think of is that shes just consolidating herself about what to do next, like choosing what guy, but that's just me being stupidly hopeful.\n\nAny idea?", "summary": "Told my friend I'm into her about 24 hours ago, she has a boyfriend who shes on rough terms with, still no reply, whats going on?"} {"id": "t3_131crw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I just had a powercut, while in the bath, and I panicked and thought I was being invaded by aliens. Reddit, what situations have you ever panicked in and believed it was something worse than it actually is?", "post": "Here's some context... So it's about 00:30, I'm washing my hair, and I'm about to reach for the bottle of shampoo. Suddenly, the lights just go out and I'm sat there, arm outstretched in the pitch black of my bathroom for about 5 seconds. My initial thought is \"I have no idea where anything is, and everyone else is asleep, this is going to suck\". Then some five seconds later the lights come back on, and with them I hear alarms. They're not that far away, I'd say they're just at the end of my road and now I'm sat here thinking \"what the hell are alarms going off for?\" there must have been three or four alarms going off. So just as I'm calming down, my douche-bag brain throws an image of X-Com; Enemy Unknown's thin men into my brain, running down my street shooting cars causing alarms to go off. Now I'm in a panic, I don't dare move unless those creepy aliens hear me and come after me. In the end I just return to washing my hair, because who wants to die with bad hair? And then I remember my computer was turned on while it happened and now I'm worrying about my computer, which is fine as I now know.", "summary": "I was washing my hair when the power went out and thought aliens were coming to kill me, so I ended up washing my hair so it looked nice in case I died."} {"id": "t3_1o0sjp", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Advice on how to tell this girl how I feel? It's complicated...details in description (17M)", "post": "Hey everyone,\n\nSo I'm deciding to move on this girl that I've liked for a while. Anyways, I told her friends that too (this was probably a mistake) and then they told her that.\n\nAccording to her friend, she is going to give me a \"chance\". However, I was just told that she changed her mind because of this reason: she thinks that I hate the girl that didn't want to continue a relationship with me. That is completely false. I told her friend this and hopefully she told her that.\n\nSo what would you guys say? I was thinking something like \"I know that I made the mistake of telling too many people how I felt. All BS aside, do you want to just hang out ______?\" Then I would say something about how I just want to test the waters, etc. \n\nThis is the only girl at my school I've ever truly liked, so I'm hoping you guys can give me some advice. I really just want some closure on this. Thank you!", "summary": "Girl was told wrong information about me, and I've tried to fix that. How do I best get some closure on this (is asking her to hangout the best thing to do?) Thanks!"} {"id": "t3_2r2i16", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19m] friend [20m] hit my car in the morning after new years around 5 am, hasn't come clean and says he wasn't even driving.", "post": "Lets call my friend Jack okay.\n\nJack was pretty drunk I assume, as I went to sleep around 3 and he was still drinking, but he decided to leave with a friend at 5 am for some reason. \n\nAnd as he backed out of the driveway he hit a hedge kept going and scraped the front of my car, then I assume he just drove off, also a few bottles of alcohol went missing too which we all assume he stole. I got his brother to take a picture of the dent in the car which has matching paint to my car on it.\n\nalso im going to their beach house tomorrow for a week and i dont know if its going to be awkward, i called him on thursday and asked Jack what happened and he said he didnt even drive and blamed it on his friend, and when i called him he said Jack drove into the hedge and then they swapped spots.\n\nalso during the night he stole another guys cigarettes, everyone knew but he kept saying they were his even though ive never seen him buy those type of smokes before.", "summary": "friend hit my car 5am new years day wont come clean, I've called him once and he said he didn't do anything just want him to take responsibility for once."} {"id": "t3_3he2zn", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to kiss a girl", "post": "So this just happened two hours ago. \n\nA few days ago, I found a nice looking girl on instagram, messaged her, added on Facebook. Starting chatting, she seems really awesome. Anyways, she's a waitress at this shithole of a bar where nobody really comes, so we arranged that I come. Went really well, but there wasn't really a kissing opportunity. Same happened on the next 'date'. \n\nWell, tonight I came around 11 pm, an hour or so before she closes the bar in hope that I will walk her back home. We're talking, everything's going really well. She closes the bar, and we start heading home. We stop somewhere to have a smoke. All of the sudden, rain starts pouring like crazy. We hide in a lobby of a random building where people live(not sure how to express myself really, english is not my mother language). \n\nGreat so far, right? Alone with a nice girl, pouring outside. So as a social fuck-up I am I just can't seem to 'seal the deal' and just kiss her. So I ask her.\n\n'Hey, uhm...'\n\n-yes?\n\n'Can I kiss you'\n\n*5 second silence* -Did you just ask me that? Haha\n\n**falls into a pit of hell** \"Uhm, yes.\n\nSo I try to kiss her but it ends up being more awkward and she's like 'ehh not now'. I'm really dying right now.\n\nWe start talking again, the rain stopped and I walked her home. She asks if I want a drive back home. Yeah sure, what the hell. What could go wrong. She stops by my house, I take off my seatbelt. And I just sat there overthinking the possible outcomes of anything I really now and she told me 'just go haha'.", "summary": "Asked a girl for a kiss, she started laughing at me and asked if I just asked her that. Fucked up again when she drove me home."} {"id": "t3_2c8pf0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend (21/M) of 1 year was invited to birthday dinner and told me (21/F) to join.", "post": "Just last week, a mutual friend of ours invited people through a Facebook message asking them if they could come to her birthday dinner. My boyfriend was part of the Facebook chat, however, I wasn't part of it. He told me it would be fine if I went because I am also friends with the birthday girl, and with the others that are coming. I feel like I wasn't invited though because she didn't add me to the chat. I am scared that she made a reservation and that she will have some trouble getting her table because she has one extra person. My boyfriend told me to not worry about it because she probably assumes that I will be coming with him. Reddit, I'm worrying. Any ideas? Also, her birthday was actually yesterday and I texted her, in hopes she will say something about the dinner. My boyfriend also joked saying \"Maybe she will invite you\". But she didn't mention anything. Am I thinking too much?", "summary": "Mutual friend invited people to birthday dinner through Facebook chat, boyfriend was invited but I wasn't . He told me to go and not worry because she probably assumes I will becoming. But I'm worried. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_21lj71", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I've been thinking about leaving my girlfriend..", "post": "Some backstory: We have a daughter together she is one and a half. We've lived together since she was pregnant. I've tried to leave her before but she threatens to keep my daughter from me(In Ohio, I have no rights). Im miserable. The relationship is more of a burden than joy at this point. She treats me like shit and anytime I try to confront her she causes huge scene and then blames me. I dont want to be with her but I feel trapped. I honestly dont think she could raise our daughter without me always \"holding her hand\" through things. Ive thought of taking my daughter and moving away without her but I dont want her growing up without a mother. I dont know what to do anymore.", "summary": "Ranting about my awful relationship. Trapped with babymom cause she holds our daughter over my head when I try to leave."} {"id": "t3_13sotk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22m] girlfriend [20f] of 7 months is having anxiety about us", "post": "So here's the deal. Girlfriend and I got together tonight to talk and hang out like normal (we both just got back from thanksgiving break and wanted to have some time together - we are both in college at the moment). We are having a great conversation and having fun. Then all of a sudden she sort of dropped a bomb on me. She told me she's been having anxiety about our future together. She said that she didn't want to break up, I make her extremely happy, it has absolutely nothing to do with me, but she's told me that something just isn't sitting right. I was sort of confused and frankly a little blindsided, but I asked her what she meant. She tried to explain as best she could, and said that for the last couple weeks she's just been really unsure about our relationship and just wondering if it is right/best for the both of us. Again emphasizing that it didn't have anything to do with me and she was just not feeling right about something. I pressed in a little and tried to see what the root was but honestly I don't even think she knows. \n\nReddit, this is tearing me up. I hate to see her like this. I absolutely love this girl and would do anything in the world for her. I just don't know what to do or say or anything. I want to make it all better but can't. I feel like crap and wish I had a magic phrase I could say to make her feel better about us. But I can't. I'm not sure where to go from here and any honest advice is greatly appreciated.", "summary": "girlfriend is anxious and worried about us but she's not sure why. Says it has nothing to do with me or anything I've done. Want to reassure her and make her feel better, no clue how."} {"id": "t3_2um7zs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my gf [21 F] 3 weeks, Online dating trust issues.", "post": "I met my current gf of about 3 weeks on an online dating website. About 2 days later we meet up at my place, hook up, have a good time etc. The day after we decide to make it a mutual relationship with each other as exclusive.\n\nI am concerned however about some possible red flags that are coming up often and repeatedly. She always wants me to express my feelings about her and I always say that I like her and I want her to be my gf. However, she always brings up being afraid of being cheated on, left for some other girl and not wanting to waste her time.\n\nNow I wouldnt be so concerned about this usually as we are a new couple and all and trust isn't fully formed as that takes a bit of time. However, when we were together at her place I reached for my vaporizer and she was on her phone. she immediately shields her phone from me seeing it. I thought it was really odd and she seemed upset afterwards. I kept asking her whats wrong and if shes ok a few times and she would not tell me why she was acting that way. I left it alone and brought it up the next day. She said she was talking to a guy she had \"a long story with\" and she eventually told me he kept ditching her or whatever and she had given him money a few times to come see her. I was like ok, tried to explain that he probably doesn't care about her in that way and moved on.\n\nShe also continuously browses dating websites still even when I am around her. And has on more than a few occasions talked about her latest ex in great detail and on one occasion called me by his name accidentally.\n\nNow is this some sort of insecurity/self esteem issues or are these truly red flags? or am i just being some sort of insecure/jealous asshole?", "summary": "Gf of 3 weeks I met online still browses dating websites every day. Attempts to hide conversations with other males from me and still talks about her ex. Insecurity issues or red flags?"} {"id": "t3_203qb9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Fuck me. (20/m) (19/f) (19/f)", "post": "So long story short, my girlfriend of 2+ years cheated on me about a month back. Things have been rocky since then and things just weren't the same. I tried to make things work because I love her and care about her and does the same. But I thought it would be best to move on. \nBefore my girlfriend of 2+ years and I got together, I had a best friend who I had a thing for since the first day I met her. She gets me. We stopped talking for about a year because of some issues we had with each other but I really, really missed her. We started talking again about 2 months ago and she makes me so happy. We've hung out a few times and all these feelings I once had for her came flooding back. She just got out of a horrible relationship with an abusive guy a few weeks ago, and she's not ready for a relationship. I told her about my feelings for her and I told her that if she doesn't want that I'm totally okay with it because I'm just happy to have her back in my life. She just wants to be best friends and see if it leads to anything more, but we're being flirty and stuff with each other.\nHere's the big problem, my ex girlfriend is still a big part of my life. I want to move on and not be with her, but I care about her. She bought me knicks tickets for my birthday and wants to give them to me still, but I don't know whether to take them or not. I wanted to take the girl I'm talking to, to a knicks game, but now idk what to do because my ex got me tickets and If I take them and take this other girl it's going to be rude and disrespectful. I want to be with this new girl and see if things work out, but I feel like there are still feelings for my ex and everything's just going crazy right now. This was probably so incoherent and whatever but it's because I've got so much going through my mind right now. What do I do.", "summary": "ex girlfriend cheated on me and I want to move on with old fling. still feelings for ex but have just as strong feelings for new girl."} {"id": "t3_3fveiy", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [M24] love my gf [F23] but she hasn't fallen yet; deciding to invest longer or play it safe and give up", "post": "I've been dating my girlfriend for 7 months now. I've been out of a 6 year relationship for one year now and wasn't planning on anything serious. Neither was she. It was agreed upon to date until we both go to graduate school since we both had plans to move out of state.\n\nShe has been by far the best girl I've dated. Everything I could ask for- honest, sweet, fun, the whole deal. We both grew to care way more than we thought we would but its pretty clear I'm a bit more infatuated. That'd be fine, but here's the catch. She has to move in a month. She's stated she would love if I moved with her or even would do long distance until I was able to. What holds me back? She's never been in love before and she gets attached very slowly. I know she cares about me alot but there's alot of things that make me feel like it isn't enough. Maybe I'm just used to having my girlfriend love me from my ex though.\n\nI'd love to go to school where shes going anyways so its not that big of a deal, but it also is. We wouldnt be living together, its just a chance to see how our relationship progresses. I have been in love and I have been hurt before so I'm feeling very guarded about taking such a risk when she may never fall for me (I fell for her trying not to after all!). I also feel like long distance would hurt my chances of her falling for me more and have usually viewed that as doom for relationships.", "summary": "How long does it take most people to start falling in love? Should I take the risk for a dream girl even if it means moving my life around more than she'd be willing to do?"} {"id": "t3_1k21vh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Advice on how [M 20] may be feeling. I'm [F 19]", "post": "Boyfriend and I start uni soon (less than two weeks). We met there on campus and have been together for almost eight months. This summer has been difficult for us, as he has a hard time dealing with distance. I would like to talk with him more often than we do right now (every three days or so), which I asked him to. First time went alright, we started talking more. He backed off again and we only talked a couple times in the last two weeks. \n\nNow he says he wants to take a break since he doesn't \"feel anything\". What does that mean? He doesn't want to break up, but apparently doesn't love me right now like he has said? Can someone explain to me how feelings of love can wane to the point that you don't even want to talk to your SO? \n\nHe's my best friend. I want nothing more than to spend as long as I can with him, to be in his company. I want our relationship to succeed, but don't understand what he means when he says that feelings come and go. My love for him is so strong that it's physically hurting me to think that my best friend doesn't even care enough to want to even talk to me. Phone, text, email, nothing. I don't feel that I can even talk to him about anything right now, since we're on break. What does that even entail? \n\nSomeone please try to give me a little insight on him and what he's feeling/going through. I've never experienced my feelings of love for someone to just disappear. It took me until meeting him to let go of someone who I'd loved for almost five years. Help!", "summary": "Boyfriend declared we're on a break because he's not feeling anything, I want insight on what he's thinking."} {"id": "t3_2wmjll", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by confiding in my supervisor", "post": "Hey, this just happened tonight... I get points for that, right?\n\nWell, tonight I came into the local coffee joint to see what was up. Alright, I went in there to see this cute girl that was scheduled to get off around the time I was going to show up. As she was getting off we chatted for a bit before she headed home with stuff to do... Here comes the fuck up.\n\nMy supervisor had seen me and her talking. He's a cool guy, asked me to party with him after work (I passed, work tomorrow morning) and we cracked jokes an had a grand old time. Well, he began callin me out on why I was taking selfless and who I was talking to on my phone. I trust this guy, he's cool, so I tell him it was the girl that just got off work. He begins putting two and two together and questions me about her. I figure, whatever he's cool he won't tell anyone, and let him know I like this girl... Big mistake!! He immediately lets the other two employees working know over his headset that I'm interested in this girl and proceeds to crack jokes. He then tells me he will be telling her, when they work together on Sunday, that I am in love with her... \n\nOn the bright side (maybe... I guess we will see) this gave me the... Confidence, for lack of a better word (motivation, maybe) to see what she's up to this weekend.\n\nSo... TIFU and expect a TIFUpdate", "summary": "I confided to my supervisor about being interested in a coworker an he plans on letting all our fellow employees know this"} {"id": "t3_16fa7w", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I think I was just lied to, need some advice on where to go next.", "post": "The girl I've been seeing for the past week just let another guy answer the phone and say that he was her brother. He told me that she was having a rough day and not really in the mood to talk and that she would call me tomorrow. We have talked extensively about my brother, because we don't get along and yet she has never mentioned her brother. I'm not really upset that another guy has answered her phone; I am more upset that I believe he lied about being her brother. What is the best way to approach this situation to foind out if she's actually lying to me or if (s)he was telling the truth. I want to avoid looking like a jealous asshole because jealousy really isnt my problem here. My problem is the possibility of the lie. She knows how much I hate being lied to and yet this does not sit right with me. I should also mentioned that she is 18 and I am 28, so there is a little bit of an age gap here. The issue might be caused by immaturity... I'm just looking for a good way to bring it up and find out the truth without seeming like a jealous douchebag because like I said, I don't care who the guy is or what they were doing together ... but don't lie to me.", "summary": "Younger girlfriend had some dude answer the phone claiming he was her brother, I think he's lying to me and maybe she is responsible."} {"id": "t3_1hsdp5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[20M] want to love and trust my [18F] girlfriend of 4 months.", "post": "Hello, this is my second serious relationship and I was cheated on in the first. It really got me down, and hurt my self-esteem. Now, there have been 3 instances where I have shown my current partner my \"real\" personality. First I asked her to show me a convo of her and her ex because I was scared. She did and was surprised I asked her to.\n\nNext, I wanted to see the same conversation for a stupid reason. We were discussing who texted whom first and I asked to see the same text from the same time in the first reason. I selfishly thought that since it was already in the open it was fair game for me to invade that space again. In the moment I didn't think about this but she felt it was the same way.\n\nAnd now recently I asked her a question about a friend she has. I asked her about him and if they had a romantic past. She seemed very disappointed and said she had already told me no (but I had forgotten). She said, \"What? do you think I have a secret boyfriend or something?\" I asked her right when I dropped her off and she was late to be home, and said we'd talk about it the next day.\n\nIt's been 2 days and we have not talked about it but have been hanging out consecutively since I last asked her. But everything has been normal and we're very loving towards each other. We've built our relationship strong and right from the start, we are very fond of one another. She is the type of girl that won't give her attention to anyone and I'm lucky and grateful to have it.\n\nNow how do I make her feel like I trust her. I know she feels, even slightly, like I don't trust her and am a ticking time-bomb of jealousy. Do we just move on like nothing ever happened? Or should I bring it up and be like, \"listen I feel bad about bringing your friend up and I want you to know that I love you and trust you.\" Maybe even suggest that I wouldn't have a problem with them hanging out or whatever? Let me know what you guys think, thanks!", "summary": "I've let myself become insecure and came off as controlling and jealous to my lovely girl a handful of times. I don't want to trap her, how do I make her feel free?"} {"id": "t3_3en13j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] don't know how to stop hurting(emotionally) my gf[18F]", "post": "Hi, I've been a frequent lurker here but I could really use some advice right about now. Thank you if you take the time to read through my post. I'm sorry if this is all over the place.\n\nI've been with my SO for about 4 months now and things have been great up until the past 2 weeks. She's brought to my attention numerous times where I would do things without thinking of her, or what she does for me. With her going away to college next month, I feel as though this is going to break us.\n\nI completely agree with everything she says though which is the scary part. Without going much into detail, she holds our relationship together. Shes is possibly the busiest person I've ever met and yet still makes time for us to have together. I've really taken her for granted and now I don't know what to do.\n\nShe told me how shes just emotionally exhausted she is at this point. That shes given so much and I haven't been pulling my weight. She also asked my why she should even bother trying so hard if I cant even do little things for her. Ill admit there has been a lot of miscommunication in our relationship but I really am doing my best to help us. She hates me beating myself up over all this but it's the only way I can realize just how badly I've been fucking up.\n\nI already know there are going to be comments about this just being \"young love\" or to \"jump on the breakup train\" but I really want to try my best to at least work towards this. I just dont know how to stop hurting her. Seeing her depressed over us is the worst feeling I've ever felt before.", "summary": "I don't put in enough effort and don't think before I act. SO is scared what this means for us and I want to make it up to her."} {"id": "t3_2zkhgt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [15m] can't stop touching my friend/gf's [15f] thighs, she tells me to stop but I just can't, and I hate myself for it.", "post": "I am in a bit of a dodgy situation with my friend. We both like each other as more than friends, but we are too bogged down in school work to start dating.\n\nShe keeps on telling me to stop touching her thighs so much, even when we are alone. I seem to have this constant urge to touch her, not just stroke her thighs, but even just have my hand on them.\n\nAlthough constantly touching her makes me seem, I don't think materialistic is the right word, but that I only want to be with her for her body. This is not the case. \n\nI don't know why I have always touch her thighs, but I think it has something to do with the fact I am really bad at hugging. Whenever I hug her it just feels really awkward and bad, but I still like physically connecting to her.\n\nI feel really bad because I can't seem to stop touching her, even subconsciously. Due to a lack of sleep, one math lesson I was half asleep, my eyes were open, but nothing was clicking in my brain. I was woken by her nudging me a few times and asking me what I was doing, because as it turns out I was stroking her thigh.\n\nTo try and stop myself from doing this, I went for a week without touching her in any way. All this did was make me feel really detached from her. I really feel like she is starting to think I only like her for her body, and is starting to like me less because of it.", "summary": "I can't stop touching her thighs, she is starting to like me less because of it, but I just can't seem to stop."} {"id": "t3_1u7mu4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "The last guy I was in love with [24/M] called me up tonight and left a blank voicemail. I'm [22/F], what do I do?", "post": "I'll try to summarize our relationship as simply as possible. We dated somewhat casually for three months before real feelings started to develop, and when they did he was really quick to pull away because he didn't want to get into anything serious. We were then on again off again for the next 4 months, until he decided to end it with me once and for all, stating that he wasn't ready for full blown love and commitment. I know what you're thinking, that he's a commitophobe but he isn't because he had gotten out of a 5 year relationship just two years before I met him.\n\nAnyway, I get a missed call tonight from him and a blank 10 second voicemail, no follow up text. Normally I'd just assume pocket dial (my name starts with A so it happens sometimes). But here's why it's making my heart pump with hope:\n\n* It's January first. The hopeless romantic in me wants to believe he thought he would wait until the new year, and if there was anything left he'd reach out.\n\n* Only two days ago, I removed him from my facebook chat block, so he can again see when I'm online again. Maybe he interpreted this as my first move?\n\n* Three weeks after we broke up, I texted him saying happy birthday. He responded saying that he didn't know who my number was because he got a new phone. Him calling me again is a sign that he had saved my number.\n\nI know I'm crazy and that this is probably nothing. But love makes you crazy sometimes, doesn't it. I've really tried hard to move on from him, I haven't even once contacted him or even LOOKED at his facebook profile, but I've had no success, I still have intense feelings for him. Do I owe it to myself to find out for sure, or am I just bound for more heartbreak? I calmed myself down with a hot shower, and thought I'd let reddit help me out on this one.", "summary": "I can't tell if my last love wants me in his life again, or if his call was just a meaningless coincidence."} {"id": "t3_2swzgy", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "How can I get to know a stranger?", "post": "Hello /r/dating_advice. I have been struggling about something lately and I am already out of ideas, and before giving up I wanted to ask you if maybe you could help me. Please forgive my English. \n\nSo... There's this guy in my German class I like and never talked to. I know it sounds like I was a five year old, but I swear... I'm not the kind of girl who's obsessed with a different person each month. In fact, I am getting scared because I haven't had a crush since almost a year... I guess this is normal, but as a 20 year old it confuses me. The nearest I have been to have a crush is this guy... who I don't even know. But this is not the topic I wanted to talk about.\n\nMost of all I don't want you to judge me for this. I just can't help it, and believe me: I tried. It's not only about how he looks, I have told my friends a thousand times that he's not even my type. I guess I am just curious because I like his attitude. It's hard to explain, to be honest. \n\nWe have never talked, we have no friends in common (yep, already checked fb), and we don't even study the same career (I think German is one of his optional subjects). \n\nWhat do I do to get to know him without being a creep?", "summary": "I like a guy from my German class I have never talked to and I need some advice because I haven't handled this situation before."} {"id": "t3_1s1h9h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my GF [22 F] for 5 months, There's going to be long distance between us in the future, which she doesn't want, but I do.", "post": "I've been dating this girl for about 5 months. We meet almost every day, call/message all the time - we really like each other. I'll be going abroad in a years time to do a 17 month course - I'll be back home twice or thrice a year. \n\nShe says she doesn't want to be in a long distance relationship. So, I guess, if I leave we're going to break up - even though I don't want to.\n\nMy question is - What's the probability that her opinion will change if we go out for another year? Should I just break it off now and find someone who wants to be with me no matter what the situation before we both get more hurt?", "summary": "My GF doesn't want to do a long distance relationship in a years time, should I break it off right now?"} {"id": "t3_47215k", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Here are my dating problems....any advice is appreciated.", "post": "The problems I have had with dating isn't that I can't find a guy, its that I can't figure out how to get laid...\n\nWhenever I immeadiately get asked for sex, I get turned off. I don't exactly know why, maybe because it feels too easy?\n\nI don't have much experience in relationships, flirting and sex(I've only had sex once) and am unsure how to practice.\n\nUsually when I wait for sex, the guy and I get stuck just talking. I don't seem to be able to turn the conversation to sexual tension. I can usually talk sexy via text really well, but it seems only when he initiates.\n\nThe only guys I have found are on the internet. I did have two coworkers ask me out, one didn't hold conversation very well( and fell for girls very easily. It didn't last long) the other I had a hard time shifting the convosation to sex because he always brought up day to day conversation. I ended up having feelings for guy 2 and had to end it because he told me he wasnt looking for serious. But, after breaking it off with him, I later realized that being blunt about wanting sex is the way I should have gone. I later used this on a guy(from online website, we met publicly 2x's) that wanted casual sex, and he kind of blew me off( he lives with his father and step mom, and wanted to make sure both were out of the house. Then I heard nothing.) \n\nI would go out places and try to connect to people publicly, and, being really shy, and clueless on how to flirt, I get no where.", "summary": "what is some advice on flirting, initiating sex, should I get over sex before first date in order to learn more about my body, how to keep a relationship thriving."} {"id": "t3_53v29v", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I'm 25 and my SO is 19 - we're both really happy, but am I being irresponsible by being with her? [X-Post from r/Relationships]", "post": "We'll call her Emmie - we're both female, if that helps. We met/became fast friends when she was 17 and I was 23, and got closer over the next two years. At first it was definitely somewhere between a mentor/friend role, but over time it developed into a genuine friendship, especially post high-school.\nWe've always been extremely compatible, but we were both in long term relationships. This past summer, both single and back at our shared summer job, we got together fairly quickly and it's been pretty much smooth sailing since then. At first I was really worried about what our mutual friends would think, but everyone that knows us says it makes sense.\n\nObviously it's easier to live in a bubble during the summer, and she's back at college now and I'm back at work in the city. It's still felt/feels like a healthy and happy thing for both of us though - we're both good at communicating, and have talked about all aspects of this. \n\nMy biggest concern, which I've voiced to her, is that I'm preventing her from enjoying all the fun, formative experiences in college (like having that random drunken hookup, etc). And we've both given each other permission to have fun within limits. We're both pretty entertained by any random drunk make-out stories, etc. She's very mature (I've never dated anyone younger than myself so this is really new for me), and I want to take her at her word, but I also don't want to be the irresponsible adult who should know enough to walk away and let her have a 100% normal college experience. What do you guys think?", "summary": "I'm 25, SO is 19, things have been great but I'm worried she'll miss out because of me."} {"id": "t3_1qojuo", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "She said no to a date because she was too busy, how should I take this?", "post": "A little backstory: I've known this girl for about 2-3 months now. We both go to art college, and live in the same dorm (her one floor above me). We're great friends and have a lot in common (both like nerdy stuff), and I've been wanting to ask her out pretty much since we met.\n\nI literally just asked her out about an hour ago (at about 3am), she and I were heading to bed after a long night of hanging out with our friends. I followed her a little bit until nobody would be able to here us. And I really had to force myself, but I managed to (*very*) awkwardly ask her out on a date. She thought for a little bit (4-8 seconds), and said no, because she was going to be really busy working on like 3 projects tomorrow, and she went on to explain one of them a little bit (which I totally believe, because our art college keeps us busy). I said maybe another time, and we said goodnight.\n\nThere are many scenarios that could be happening right now: She was not interested and was trying to get out of it, she was interested but was caught off guard, she was interested but legitimately needed to work on things (which honestly is true for me too), and I could go on....\n\nSo I feel like the best course of action is probably just wait and see what happens at this point. My only question is if nothing happens and we almost even pretend like it didn't happen, should I ever try asking her out again? And perhaps is there any way I should try to act tomorrow? Otherwise any other random advice/relevant stories you could offer me?\n\nThanks", "summary": "I asked my crush out finally, she said no because she has a lot of work to do tomorrow (which I believe). Do you think she could be interested at all? Any stories or advice to share?*"} {"id": "t3_v309r", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why is the upvote/downvote difference for great, front paging content almost always between 1500 and 3000 votes?", "post": "I don't understand it, and it's starting to seem almost suspicious to me. I mean, I understand that there will always be dissenting opinion, and trolls that just downvote everything, people that are sick of it being on the front page, etc., etc., but great front page content is almost always ahead by a margin of 1500-3000 upvotes. I guess I'd just expect to see a wider differential with some of the content. Sure, some of is bound to be more split, but some of the content I've seen is just amazing stuff. Content that speaks to us a human beings. Content one would expect maybe 25,000 upvotes to let's say 4,000 downvotes, to account for trolls and such. Nope. Never. Not from what I've seen. That content will have 25,000 upvotes and 22,000 downvotes. It seems odd to me. Is there a design to reddit that's behind this? Or is it really just the way it is?", "summary": "Why is there almost always an almost even split for front-paging content when one would expect nearly universal acclaim?"} {"id": "t3_3b5bq5", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Why isn't he asking me to hang out?", "post": "I've had a crush on this boy since second semester of my senior year. We had a class together, and although we barely talked, I couldn't get him out of my head. Now it's the summer, and a few weeks ago, I confessed that I had a crush on him, because I assumed that we wouldn't be seeing each other anymore after we graduated high school. But it turned out that he has a crush on me too, and we went on a movie date this past Sunday. \nWe're both going to separate universities this fall, so we told each other that we're not going to date. We would just be two friends that think the other is cute hanging out over the summer. \nBut sparks were definitely flying during that movie date. It seemed like he liked me, and I thought I made it pretty sure that I liked him. I asked if we could hang out again sometime, and he replied \"of course!\" with a genuine smile. \nWe text now and then, and I get how not all guys like to text (I don't really text either), but I'm concerned because he hasn't asked me to hang out anytime since then. Actually, he hasn't texted me at all, which usually doesn't concern me much, but I really want to hang out with this kid. \nAnd I could totally just ask him out instead, but I feel like I initiate every single time. I confessed. I asked him out on a movie date.", "summary": "Girl confesses to boy, boy likes girl back. Girl asks boy to movie, 'date' goes swimmingly, say there will be another one, but he won't initiate date?"} {"id": "t3_3jx7kz", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Newly adopted dog potty-training issues", "post": "We just adopted an American Eskimo-Western Terrier mix and he is super sweet. He is very lovable and very gentle and seems like he has already taken us as his parents. He came from a foster home who told us he was potty-trained... but so far we haven't had luck with that. \n\nWe have taken him on multiple long walks, and each time he will not go while on the walk, but instead he goes in the house within minutes after we get back from the walk. He waits for us to turn our heads for a second and then goes on the floor/carpet/couch. He also has not been eating much since arriving, and he has thrown up twice (during or afte a car ride) since getting him yesterday.\n\nThe weird thing is that he seems very much at home with us. Cuddles with us, learning some basic tricks with us, but he refuses to use the bathroom outside with us. Any idea on what could be wrong and what we can do? We considered the possibility of him being sick (he was in the car for over 4 hours for the drive to pick up him), but would that be reason for him to not use the bathroom while he's outside on a walk?", "summary": "Dog was potty-trained with foster, but now waits until we get back indoors to use the bathroom with us. How to fix?"} {"id": "t3_1zgoq9", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "If I only wore a condom...need advice on gf's (un)expected pregnancy", "post": "My girlfriend (age 32) and I (age 29) have only been together for five months. After we had sex a few times, she started telling me to finish inside of her. We have always had unprotected sex. Come mid-January I started contemplating ending the relationship. However I wanted to wait until she had her period. Needless to say, we were both happy that she got her period. But, then she texted me the following day saying she no longer had her period. Mentally I was freaking out, looking up pregnancy symptoms, and then sending her links about what a 1-day period could mean. She started to freak too and for the next month she never said anything. She missed February's period and had 1 test several days ago that came up positive. \n\nShe's super upset, stressed, and I am too. I'm mad at myself for allowing this to happen. Her and I do not have the means to raise a kid. She just moved back in with her parents and I live with a family member. Most of my paycheck goes to student loans/debt. One of the first things she said when she broke the news was that she was not having an abortion. I tried discussing with her that we need to be smart about this and that it's not right to go forward with a pregnancy when we cannot even care for ourselves. \n\nI respect that this is her choice, but it's really hard for me to support that choice. I come from a broken home and was raised in chaotic environment. I cannot look in the mirror and say that I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl. Though I really do not want to see a child come into this world without a father. \n\nHere's the other thing: I also have another girlfriend of 2 years. I know what I am doing is wrong and it's being addressed with my therapist/psychiatrist. A part of me just cannot be honest with either women and it's something that bothers me greatly. I split my emotions with them and at times I feel like all this is not real. Reality is here though and I am not sure what to do. But if I do anything, I want to do what is right.", "summary": "Got GF of 5 months pregnant, but also have another GF of 2 years. They also share the same first name."} {"id": "t3_2rwp0c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M/] with my Girlfriend [23 F] of a few months: When is it no longer jealousy?", "post": "I have been dating her for a few months and have been wondering if this type of jealousy is normal and healthy, or if there is something behind why she is like this with me. We se each other about twice a week... sometimes twice every other week because of distance. \n\n------------------------------------------------------------------\nI have given her no reason to not trust me. Some things she has done of late: \n\n* Always telling me to behave before I go out with the guys \n* Asking me who the girl is that is above her on my top 3 snapchat friends (She doesn't really snapchat often, I snapchat a lot) \n* Misheard me, thinking I said my guy friends name on the phone, I told her I didn't. When I get off the phone and call my classmate back, I have a call from her on call waiting. I answer to her saying \"busted... Night\". get a text shortly after saying Why would you lie to me about that? When i explain to her and ask why she would think I would lie about something like that.. she said I'm exhausted don't have the energy to talk about this.", "summary": "Girlfriend seems untrusting, claims to have all good prior relationships with boyfriends. Is this typical Jealousy, or a bit much?"} {"id": "t3_17a7hs", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Etiquette for multiple offers and how long I can hold out?", "post": "I'll be graduating in May with a degree in Aerospace Engineering and a minor in Computer Science. I've got a few years work experience in CS, and ideally would like to do CS work in the aerospace sector. I've had a couple interviews with aero companies that seemed to go really well, but I'm waiting to hear back, and have another with a non-aero company for a CS job. It's a good company, and I would enjoy working there, but what's the etiquette if I'm offered a position there before hearing back from somewhere else? How long can I ride that out? I have several resumes out for other companies that should be pretty promising, too, and I'm not sure I want to give up on them if the CS job gives me an offer, but I also don't want to lose that offer. What's the best way to handle this sort of situation?", "summary": "Possibly courting multiple offers, promising lead at a company in a sector outside of my ideal. How do I juggle it?"} {"id": "t3_3xi1u5", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "[22M] I want to quit my job, but I'm not sure if I could live with the guilt", "post": "I'm an undergraduate engineering student set to graduate in May, and I've been working as a supervisor in a cafe whenever school is in session for the past 4 years.\n\nThe short version goes like this: I've felt like I have no time for myself, and I only want to work 5-10 hours per week in my last semester at school. CafeBoss has agreed to this, but last semester he also agreed to my request for 10-12 hrs/wk before putting me on about 20. The work is tiring, dirty, and stressful. My girlfriend approached me with a \"minimum 5 hour/week\" office job, and let me know that it is guaranteed. It pays similarly, but instead of being fast-paced and stressful, the people who work there play Netflix in the background.\n\nIt seems like a no-brainer, but CafeBoss is a nice guy who needs help, especially now. We're short-staffed, and he is only allowed to leave the cafe when myself or the other supervisor are there. The other supervisor is a good friend, and most people who work there are too.", "summary": "Should I leave my job of 7 semesters and force my boss to work more for an easier final semester at college?"} {"id": "t3_2wmrt9", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by cashing in my Club Nintendo Points", "post": "This is nowhere near as bad as the awful shit that I usually see around here, but I just need to vent.\n\nSo as many of you might have known, Club Nintendo is shutting down, and everyone's scrambling to cash in their points for something worthwhile, myself included. I haven't really been using my codes up until Mario Kart 8 came out with that offer for a free Wii game if you register it. Anyway, I cashed in all of the games I could find with redeemable codes, and soon was swimming in coins.\n\nNow, something else you might not know is that Club Nintendo has been down for about a week or more for maintenance, something that annoyed me to no end, so much so that I went straight to cashing my coins before it went under again. I remembered the games they were offering were just either some shitty eShop game or some virtual consoles that I wasn't interested in, so, without hesitation, I decided on getting that sick new Majora's Mask message bag, almost depleting my load of coins.\n\nI guess it was the annoyance of the incredibly long maintenance period, but it never clicked in my brain that they could have added some things to the rewards shop during that time.\n\nAfter placing my order, I noticed I still had a small amount of coins left, so I decided I would see if I could waste the rest of them on a virtual console or something, so I looked into the rewards. Staring back at me was The Wonderful 101, prime and ready for buying at a mere 600 coins. I have a little under 200 now.", "summary": "I spent all my Club Nintendo coins on a bag that I'll receive in 2-5 months, when I could have been basking in sweet Platinum Games bliss this very minute."} {"id": "t3_wgfsa", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(16/f) interested in (16/m) but he has a girlfriend. (Tl;dr at bottom)", "post": "So I met him through a mutual friend. At this time he was dating another girl but things weren't going well and she ended up breaking up with him a few weeks later. Her and I are now friends, and I also don't want to hurt her. Fast forward two weeks after the breakup with girl 1 and he's with his ex girlfriend (girl 2), now for about 2-3 weeks. He and girl 2 dated over a year, she took his virginity, and she cheated on him twice. He knew about it, they fought, but stayed together for a little longer, until he finally broke up with her. girl 2 is rude, sleeps around, and doesn't love him. She uses him for money and doesn't let him talk to/hang out with anyone else, not even other males. She is more beautiful than I am, but he seems to like me and I'm not way out of his range. I really do like him, he's honestly the nicest person I've met. I don't want to sit around and wait for him to break up with girl 2, I don't want to hurt girl 1, and I don't want to push him. I've been single for about five months now, my ex and I broke up on good terms, it just wasn't working out.", "summary": "He was with one girl, they broke up and now he's back with his cheating/lying ex. I want him to see me as more than a friend and realize that getting back with his ex was a mistake."} {"id": "t3_ev13a", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How does one deal with 3 of your friends having a threesome in your livingroom on New Year's Eve while you sit in the kitchen alone?", "post": "New Year's Eve this year I had to stay home and take care of my son so I had a couple friends over. Two of said friends drank a bit much and started going at it, which is kind of whatever. They were just making out, and it was weird, but we just moved the part to the kitchen. Some people leave and eventually, another friend joins in on the making out. I hadn't drank that much that evening due to child care, so I went in the kitchen, poured a glass of Scotch and thought they would leave to someone's apartment once things started getting crazy. But, alas, when I walk back into the livingroom after sipping my drink, there are no clothes on any of them and they are on my floor - they don't even notice me walk in. \n\nThis is totally fucked up, and the evening ended by me going into the livingroom, yelling to get the fuck out of my house. One friend was staying with me since he was visiting, and I put all his shit in the hallway of my apartment for him to pick up. This was a gross disrespect for my house. I realize the humour in this, but still feel offended. The other two friends I told to go to hell and expressed my anger that evening. Is it weird that I am this angry about what happened? I really don't want to talk to any of them again. Should I make some repercussions over this? A prank or fuck you of some kind?\n\nCue jokes about joining in.", "summary": "New Year's Eve, close friends have threesome in my house, should I be this pissed off about it?"} {"id": "t3_4o4ew5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 F] would like to ask out my Professor [41 (?) M]. Is this ethical and allowed?", "post": "hi guys. I just want to make this short and sweet. I'm hoping to get advice on this situation so that I can act accordingly and not get myself or my professor in any trouble:\n\nI just graduated in early June from college. I met my professor in my sophomore year. Everything was strictly platonic of course, I did not make a move, I studied hard in his class, and did very well. However, As time progressed I began to develop feelings for him.\n\nI have kept my feelings to myself for 2 years, now, out of respect for his job and for myself. I took other classes outside of his department and I did not make it obvious that I have feelings for him.\n\nAs a recent graduate, I'm taking one more class with Professor just as a precursor to grad school this fall. I will not be attending the same university for grad school that I have for undergrad. \n\nI would like to ask him out for coffee once this class is over (I will be fully non-affiliated with the school and no longer under his tutelage). He is a very kind-hearted, intelligent, and handsome man. I do not want to miss out on the opportunity, if it is there.\n\nWould it be unethical or a violation of some sorts to ask this man out once my class with him is over?\n\nIf it's fine to ask him out, what would be an appropriate way to do so? What should I say?", "summary": "I just graduated earlier this month and I'm taking a class post graduation to prepare myself for grad school this fall. Is it okay to ask my professor out once the class is over?"} {"id": "t3_2m2i8h", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My boyfriend [20M] is a very nice guy and due to this does not want to be rude when ex-girlfriend [19F] contacts him and it bothers me [18F] terribly.", "post": "First and foremost, I see all texts and have complete trust in my boyfriend. We have been dating for four years and have never had problems with cheating or dishonesty, but still having the ex-girlfriend linger is just frustrating.\nShe seems to think they are the best of friends and instead of talking to her own boyfriend or friends she needs to FaceTime my boyfriend! He is such a sweetheart and does not want to be rude and just shut her out as she had a very rough childhood and had told him about a lot of it so he feels obligated to be a shoulder to cry on. It bothers me and I'm not sure how to handle it, I don't want to be the crazy girlfriend but this is something I've tried and failed to get used to.", "summary": "ex-girlfriend of my SO still stays in contact, he doesn't care for her but feels too bad to tell her to lay off, bothers me but not sure how to deal with it."} {"id": "t3_2j03mr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My 20f boyfriend 22m only says he loves me and that I'm beautiful during sex.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have a very good sex life. We're very happy in our relationship spend a lot of time together and are from the same friendship group. He is very loving and does a lot for me. We were best friends for a year before hand, been together 7 months. \n\nI don't know if I should be concerned and I do think I may just be being a bit neurotic, but he only tells me really lovingly the he loves me 'so much' and that I'm 'so incredibly hot' during sex and never otherwise. He says a lot 'I love you, I love you so much' when we're having sex or during sex but doesn't any other time. I wonder if because we have sex usually more than once a day (we both have very high sex drives before hand), not having sex every day is rare and if we don't it's only if we are too busy to see each other that day. \n\nMy issue is I'm not sure if the professions of love are because I'm having sex with him and he's really loving having sex with me so much. I worry that although he does a lot for me and is supportive that it might be driven by sex and how often we have it. \n\nI'm probably being crazy but can anyone give me advice? Help me figure out if I'm crazy or if what I'm saying makes sense?", "summary": "My boyfriend only really tells me he loves me during sex, we have sex very frequently not sure if he is with me and does so much for me because of that."} {"id": "t3_2y1xjm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my gf [16 F] of 3 months she was sick for 4 weeks and now i dont know what to do", "post": "My gf had Mononucleosis and we didnt see each other for a month and things have changed in our relationship.\nLately she doesnt talk to me or anybody i think and shes starting school in monday and she doesnt want me to come over until then, she \nsaid she wants to talk about us and things, she said she changed, and she said that we are okey and she doesnt want to break up and i dont know where im at right now and feel like shit.\nI adore this girl and i dont want our relationship to end please help i dont know how to aproach her when we see eachother.", "summary": "gf was sick we didnt see eachother shes anoyed now and doesnt talk to anyone she wants to talk about us when we see eachother and mentioned that she doesnt want to break up"} {"id": "t3_40eb2i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21 M] My girlfriend of 3 years [21 F] is forcing me to get back with my emotional and abusive parents, and if I don't, she doesn't want anything to do with me until I fix it.", "post": "Hello reddit, I have a problem in my life. My girlfriend is forcing me for me to get back with my parents whom I strongly dislike. I felt super happy without them, and I felt like they were the source of my unhappyness. Ever since I told my gf about me not talking to them anymore for 5 months, she wants me to \"fix\" it. She's always giving me advice on how to fix my relationship with my parents and now she doesnt want to do anything with me if I don't fix it. I haven't talked to my parents in 7 months, and I felt super happy ever since I stopped talking to them.\n\ni don't feel happy anymore because I feel corned by my gf. I feel blackmailed and forced to do something, and if I don't, she doesn't want anything to do with me until I fix it. \n\nI said my feelings and everything on how I feel forced and cornered.\n\nWhat do I do reddit. Ever since my girlfriend is forcing me and I would even say blackmailing me, I feel really unhappy what shes doing.", "summary": "Girlfriend is forcing me to fix my relationship with my parents, and if I don't , she doesn't want anything to do with me."} {"id": "t3_1vvy10", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my boyfriend [22 M] 5 months, limited time together, wondering how to keep it exciting and make the most of the time we do have!", "post": "My boyfriend works long hours Mon-Sat (630AM-7PM usually) at a labour-intensive job and so he goes to bed pretty early during the week (usually by 9). He'll sleep at mine about half the time but even so, we only have 2 hours or so to hang out because he has to go home, shower, and then we have to commute a bit to meet each other (we're in a large city and about half an hour apart). Also, I work until 3PM on Sundays. So we really don't see each other as often as we'd like to and when we do hang out it tends to be similar activities all the time (either going for a beer and food somewhere, chilling at my place watching shows, or going out to play pool or to the movies). I'm at school all day and so we often don't even have that much to talk about because our days are always the same. Reddit - I'm looking for creative and inexpensive ideas to keep things different and a bit more exciting. It'd be nice to surprise him with something nice every once in a while because he's got a pretty rough job and just seems tired all the time. Any ideas?", "summary": "Not enough time to hang out, similar activities every day (me=school, him=work), need ideas to keep things exciting on a budget and only a couple of hours in the evenings."} {"id": "t3_3c1x3c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25F] boyfriend [35M] of 3 years has suddenly begun to sound exactly like my ex, same tone of voice and all", "post": "I haven't seen my ex, Dane, for 4 years, and we haven't had any contact whatsoever. One weekend I'm visiting my parents and my mom lets slip that he's married now, with a baby, and I get curious and decide to look him up on facebook. I find out all kinds of horrible things about him (abusive wife, homeless, sick baby, no hair) and I regret ever looking him up in the first place.\n\nThat night, my current boyfriend, Jay, gives me a call, and wouldn't you know it, he drops the *exact* same not-so-common catchphrase, in the same tone of voice, that Dane used to use when he'd call me. They sounded so eerily similar that I can't even respond for a bit, half of my brain is thinking Dane somehow got my new number and called me up. Throughout the conversation I'm completely distracted by the fact that Dane's voice would suddenly crop up and drop another phrase--and it did, several times. And Jay and Dane *do not* inherently sound alike.\n\nI try to ignore it, but after a week of this I can't stand it anymore and I ask Jay if he's noticed that he's begun to talk differently. He says no, but I swear to god he *did not* used to sound like that. Jay and Dane don't know each other, they've never met, and Dane doesn't have an internet presence or a particularly distinctive voice (no goofy accent that Jay would unwittingly put on to be funny). I don't know how this could happen or what to do about it, every time I talk to Jay it's getting clearer, it's gotten to the point where I've started putting off calling him just to avoid that fucking stupid voice he's begun to make. It enrages me. How am I supposed to deal with this? Has anyone else gone through this?", "summary": "My current boyfriend Jay has begun to sound like my ex boyfriend Dane and I have no idea what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_260en7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] need to leave my abusive ex [25M].", "post": "We started our relationship last October, but it quickly turned to shit. What was supposed to be a carefree relationship became forceful, angry, and sometimes abusive. There have been many occasions of him forcing himself on me, yelling at me and making me scared by putting his hands around my neck, etc. \n\nBut when he's not angry or aggravated he's actually the most intelligent person I've ever met. He's also very empathetic and calm. It's just when I set him off he would really, **really** blow up. \n\nI finally made up my mind and left him a little over two months ago, but he's recently been trying to get back into my life. I couldn't resist. I've started seeing him and sleeping with him again. I always insist on using protection, but he constantly tries to manipulate me into letting him enter me without one. Sometimes he tries to pry my legs open. \n\nThe last straw was when I found some child pornography on his computer. It was frightening, and I couldn't understand how somebody could be this cruel. I'm disgusted with myself for being with somebody like this. \n\nHere's the catch: it's not easy for me to leave him because I don't have many friends. I don't have friends at all. He is my **only** friend. My worsening anxiety and depression has caused my friends to withdraw from me, so I can't get any external support. None from my family, either- it is already dysfunctional. \n\nBasically the main things I need help with are my conflicting feelings regarding this person and myself- I feel disgusted with him for being a rapist and watching/enjoying child porn, but I also hate myself for having such deep feelings for someone like this. \n\nSecondly is leaving him behind myself, because I don't have friends and I don't plan on getting any external help. I need to really, **really** leave him myself.", "summary": "My feelings for my sexually and physically abusive ex boyfriend are preventing me from leaving him, and are starting to cause me to deeply resent myself. "} {"id": "t3_2xz5tg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my ex girlfriend [18 F] 1 and half months, personal doubts and unknowing cheating", "post": "Im in a really weird situation at the moment. I've been with a few girls at different times, and every one has used me thus far. I've been living with depression ever since my second ex who had also been through a lot. It got even worse when my mother passed away in august, and was put through a lot of stress that day. I've lived with it ever since. \n\nAround December, i started seeing a girl whom i ended up losing contact with in the middle of the relationship, and thought i had ended it. Little did i know i didn't. Middle of January, i met this girl (the one i mentioned in the title) and things went great between us until February, when she lost contact because of her parents (she snuck on every so often to see me) and i found out that through what i could only assume to be a drunken text saying that she was driving under the influence that ended up being just rushed, and broke up with her the first time because of the worrying and depression i was having because of it.\n\nI started seeing massive red flags in the relationship once we got back together and today found out i was still in a relationship with that girl from December. I broke up with my current girlfriend because of doubts and past relationships.", "summary": "I've been living with depression for a year now, broken up with my girlfriend over trust issues, and found out i was unknowingly cheating on her with another girl who was looking for me and feel terrible about it"} {"id": "t3_1f5ax5", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "27(m) too afraid to ask 23(f) if she wants to go out sometime.", "post": "About a month ago I starting going to this local deli for lunch and I saw this girl there that caught my eye. I am a shy guy, so I didn't say much the first time I met her. We have had some small talk going, but nothing major. Well, the other day I got into a nice conversation with her and learned a few things about her.\n\nThe scenario was quite interesting, I went into the deli before they closed and it was pretty quite. There was a couple in line before me so I figured I would go use the washroom quickly, I came out and the girl and her manager were laughing about something. They explained the woman from the couple seemed a little jealous of her boyfriend being a regular to the deli... most likely because the girl ringing him up is pretty.\n\nThe manager quipped \"Never bring your girlfriend here, she might get jealous, too.\" I said I was single and the girl replied \"That's good, relationships are a headache.\" This gave me an opportunity to indirectly ask if she was single, to which she pretty much said yes. She then pretty much seemed to say she was looking as did the manager, who happens to be her best friend. I failed to ask that day.\n\nI went back in a few days later expecting to feel comfortable enough to ask her.. but I froze up.. even though we both know a good amount about each other now, I still could not bring myself to do it.\n\nIs waiting this long to ask a girl out a bad thing.. or should I just relax and take my time and ask her when I really feel comfortable? Perhaps get to know a bit more about her... like interests... so perhaps I have a good idea for a date.", "summary": "Shy guy here having trouble asking a girl out from a local deli. Is taking my time a bad idea or not?"} {"id": "t3_i2ffj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "For the Greater Good... What morally ambiguous or downright reprehensible things did you do, big or small, for the greater good?", "post": "Sort of inspired by [this comment] or not) and my own situation.\n\nTo get things started...\n\nI was recently thrown into a situation where it became quite apparent to my family and me that an older relative was being taken by a dating scam. Everyone knew it, it was just too obvious, but we had no hard evidence to prove it to him. This relative has no job, no home, and sends nearly every penny of his unemployment check to these scammers. He sold off all of his things, the last being his laptop as they convinced him they would be traveling to the US to see him soon. I know, it's clearly a scam, it sounds preposterous and you all know it, but we just could not convince him. \n\nSo what did I do for the greater good? I put a keylogger on the desktop he was using in order to get his email passwords, and I went in to get the photos of this \"woman\" (turned out to be [Raven Riley] Their whole correspondence was sad and disgusting, spanning the past year and probably thousands upon thousands of dollars lost. \n\n I felt a bit dirty snooping like that. Just now I wrote him an anonymous email pointing out everything fake about this situation, with links to sites talking about the scam, the porn star's website, others who got taken by people using the same photos, and so fourth. Hopefully he comes to his senses and we can be done with this, and his life will turn around before it's too late.", "summary": "Put a keylogger on family member's computer to get his email password so I could sift through personal emails to gather evidence that he was being scammed"} {"id": "t3_2w6np1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [16 F] sister got into my [19 F] Facebook account and read my messages to my SO. I need advice. [Non-Romantic]", "post": "After much strife and emotional abuse, I disowned and went no contact with my parents (mom and stepdad) back in September. I put up a 7 page letter, publicly disowning and outing them for the things they had done to me on both of my FB accounts (I have two accounts: one for my family and one for my friends). I expected some sort of retaliation, but... not like this. \n\nThe day after I posted it up, I got a call from a family member saying, that someone from my old family was in my FB account. I didn't know *how* they got in, but I locked them out afterwards, and set up *all* the security measures I could, on all of my accounts.\n\nSo, come a few months later, my sister visits me, and I've already assumed it's my biological mother. I get to talking with her and she goes out and *admits* it, proudly, too. She just \"wanted to see what was going on\".\n\nAt first, I felt relief, because it wasn't my biological mother. However, now that the relief is gone, I feel betrayed. Not only did my sister have to know what email I was using, she also had to figure out my 15 character password, which included numbers.\n\nShould I cut off ties with her, or should I just brush it off and forgive her? I'm honestly at a loss.", "summary": "My sister hacked into my account, read my messages and acted like it was nothing. Advice needed as to whether to forgive her or go no contact with her as well."} {"id": "t3_1ng8ft", "subreddit": "running", "title": "How do I accept that I might not run in my first marathon due to injury a bit more graciously?", "post": "Hey runnit, \n\nI started running about 2 years ago and ran my first 5K almost a year and a half ago. At New Years, I started training for my first half marathon, caught the crazy bug and decided to run a full. I've been training since June and have had a few setbacks, but overall been able to stay on schedule until now. For the past couple weeks, I've had some bad calf pain. Massage helps it a little until I try running on it again. I made a mistake and pushed through 18 miles with it and now it feels even worse, unsurprisingly. My marathon is November 10th, and I'm realizing now that even if I took 2 weeks off to rest it, I wouldn't be able to get my mileage up for the marathon in time and would risk hurting myself even more. I really don't want this to turn into a chronic injury situation. It's a charity race, so there aren't any deferments or refunds, and it would cost me an extra $50 just to switch down to the half. \n\nI have a few friends that are also running the marathon and originally signed up to run it because of me. I plan on going and supporting them, but it's really hard to not be bitter. I've worked so hard and have come so far, and I really wanted this for myself. I know there will always be more marathons, but I'm having surgery at the end of November for something unrelated to running and will be put out for a couple more months until I can get back up to speed. \n\nI guess overall I'm just looking for advice on how to take this easier, be easier on myself, and still support and encourage my friends without coming off as bitter or angry? Any other advice about the situation?", "summary": "Injured, most likely won't be able to run my first marathon. Feeling bitter/upset about it, but still want to support my friends. Help?"} {"id": "t3_4k7952", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 F] can't have my Boyfriend [29 M] watch women perform solo in Porn but two-somes, three-somes or more-somes are fine with me", "post": "We are in a distance relationship of two years by now and we do watch porn seperately or together or do just the skype fun BUT i simply cant have him watch women masturbate solo. I don't like the image of him jerking off to a woman that is masturbating on her own. Maybe it is because its the only thing that he can do with me, so why look at another girl who basically fakes it anyway? It feels to intimate to me because he is focusing on one girl, not two or more people having fun.\n\nHe of course doesn't understand my standpoint AT ALL and thinks that i am unreasonable. To him it makes no difference if he watches two girls or one. He even laughed at me sayin: shall i pause a porn as soon as she touches herself?\nHe also says that he isn't looking at anyone specific, he has no favorite porn star. \n\nWhat do you guys think? Am I being unreasonable?", "summary": "I can't have my Boyfriend watch one girl masturbate on porn because this feels too intimate compared to two people having sex (or more)"} {"id": "t3_2s724n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my ex boyfriend [26 M] 7 months, I broke up with him and am now regretting it", "post": "I dated a wonderful man last year for about 7 months. I broke up with him, I am now realizing, because of a previous relationship. This isn't so much about that, I'm working on that aspect of myself. I'm just in so much pain right now because of my regret. \n\nI broke up with him about August last year, and we remained friends after that even though I could tell he was not over me. We talked a couple of times about why we broke up, and when I realized that I broke up with him because of a past relationship, and how, without that past relationship I would still be with him, it killed me. It broke my heart.\n\nHe is now dating someone else. I know he is still getting over me. I talked to him about my feelings yesterday and he essentially told me he was trying to move on and I should too. I just don't want to. \n\nI could spend the rest of my life with this man and be so happy, the regret I'm feeling is overwhelming. I can't even constructively, objectively use it to see what issues I have myself to work on, it hurts so much. Especially because I did it to myself, this was a mistake I made. How do you get over regret like this? What kind of steps can I take to alleviate this pain?", "summary": "Broke up with a man, regretting it immensely. Can't figure out how to get over that regret and hurt."} {"id": "t3_1k1737", "subreddit": "books", "title": "Anyone want to discuss Gone With The Wind with me?", "post": "My girlfriend and I suggested books for each other. I chose \"Dune\" for her, obviously. And she chose \"Gone with the Wind\" for me. I have waited a while to post this to see if my feelings changed, which they haven't, so I'm looking for someone to agree or tell me I am stupid.\n\nAfter finishing this book, I honestly think it is the \"great American novel\". As a reader, I try to consume as many of the classics as I do modern books. I had low expectations for this 1000+ pages because of all the hype about the movie(which ive never seen). But I was pleasantly surprised. I was amazed at how well Margaret Mitchell was able to develop her characters and make you feel so many emotions about them. I think it was brave of her to make the protagonist such a selfish, spiteful, entitled asshole most of the time. While making her such a determined, independent badass the rest. I think Rhett is a wonderful counterpoint. And the fact that she filled every inch of that book with gripping story impressed me.\n\nI know its not perfect. There were some clich\u00e9s that bugged me a bit. It was definitely written in a style without flair and surely intended to be accessible to all readers. The ending wounded me a bit. And some characters I wanted more or less of. But as a whole, I think it is a brilliant piece of writing. I will definitely recommend it to others.", "summary": "Is Gone With the Wind good enough to be considered one of the greatest American novels. Did you enjoy it? Thoughts of any kind?"} {"id": "t3_sv2ue", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "If a group of scientists started a sheltered society of modern day man, what do you think would happen?", "post": "Okay Reddit, say a group of scientists started a social experiment where they took babies given up at birth by parents and raised them in a sheltered environment out in nature. No clothes, no language, no religion, no weapons, nothing more than absolute bare necessities to assure survival of the children. Medical intervention would only be used to suppress modern day illnesses passed down to children during the transition into primal life/through genetics. If any factor started to show that a child did have a hereditary illness great enough they would be removed from the experiment as an oddity that would taint experiment results. \n\nSo, what do you think would happen and why? (Would they develop language, science, religion, discover sex, war, etc.)", "summary": "scientists take children raise them with as little interaction as possible and create a non-influenced civilization of humans. What would happen?"} {"id": "t3_4gna21", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [F/20] like and older successful guy [M/26] and am worried the age difference is scaring him off although I am very mature.", "post": "I like this guy who is 6 years older than me and I feel that he is worried about the age difference. I am much more mature, independent and educated than many women his age but I think he does not want to pursue a relationship since I am so much younger than him and people may think it is weird. \n\nI don't know if I should make a move and find out if he likes me of if I should let him pursue me. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable but I also really care about him and think we really connect. The worst part is that we work in the same office so I don't want to make it feel awkward. I also feel insecure because he is very successful and I realize he could probably date anyone he wants.", "summary": "I [F/20] like older successful guy [M/26] and worry he won't pursue me because of age difference. I also feel insecure because I realize he could probably date anyone he wants."} {"id": "t3_4h7md7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 M] am not sure how to act around her [20 F] anymore", "post": "I'm part of a group of people who have the same ideologies and the same kind of personalities. Fun, professional, weird (in a good way), etc. I care about people and I get really close to those who are very dear to me. \n\nThis time, I started to develop those feelings in a greater way and I grew very found of someone who I work with in that group. I'm always there for her and vice versa, we talk, we enjoy each other's company and I feel comfortable around her. She makes me feel that kind of happy feeling I haven't felt in a long, long time.\n\nThe problem (besides working with her) is: I guess she doesn't feel the same way AND, because of some vague post in social media, I guess she's already interested in/dating someone. But I can't be sure about that, I just can hope it isn't true.\n\nI know that probably you are gonna tell me to go talk to her, but I can't do that. I can't because I'm not capable and I can't because I'm too afraid of what her reaction would be and how it would affect our relationship. \n\nBut as this uncertainty grows, I start to get a little downhearted and every time I'm with her she notices that I'm blue. I don't know how to act around her anymore, I'm having trouble to be the same person I was in her presence, because I realize that I'm going to have to spend a lot of time with her at work, loving the way she is, knowing that I'm never gonna get this relationship any further. \nPlease help me, I really don't know what to do.", "summary": "I'm in love with a friend with whom I work and I don't know how to act around her anymore. Not sure if she has boyfriend either. I feel down."} {"id": "t3_y3q3a", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Need help - our dog is screaming bloody murder while we're away", "post": "My boyfriend and I adopted a puppy about 6 months ago - he's now 9 months old. Unfortunately, he literally screams like he's being burned to death when we're not home. He doesn't start for awhile - I've waited outside after closing the door for a few minutes and he's quiet - but when we get home from work, we can hear him whining from parking lot outside, and we live on the **third floor**. \n\nNormally I wouldn't care, but the neighbors have complained several times. We know to just ignore the noise until he stops, so he doesn't associate his screaming with us getting home. The issue is that he knows he has to be quiet in order to get out of his crate, so he stops as soon as he hears us on the stairs or, if we sneak up, as soon as we unlock the door. He'll even voluntarily go in his crate sometimes to sleep, so I don't think he hates it in there. \n\nI think he's associated his whining with us *coming home*, though at least not with him getting out of his crate. I'm not sure what to do! Sit outside in the parking lot until he stops, while the neighbors get more bent out of shape?", "summary": "Dog whines loud enough to make neighbors complain while we're away, but can't catch him in the act to discourage the behavior."} {"id": "t3_eaczx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, what's the nicest thing someone has done for you lately?", "post": "I've been wanting a kitten for quite a while now, but haven't been able to work up the nerve to do it or to be able to pay for all the initial supplies (litter box, food dish, etc.) as it can be costly to get the whole shebang set up. This weekend I found out that my cousin had two kittens he was giving away and my boyfriend encouraged me to go for it and offered to loan me the money to get everything set up! I now have two adorable kittens (I didn't have the heart to only take one of them when I saw them as they were, and still are, totally inseparable) to play with and love and I couldn't be happier!", "summary": "My awesome boyfriend encouraged me to finally get kittens after I had been wanting them for a long time and offered to loan me the money to get it all set up for them! "} {"id": "t3_32eo0e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[M/19] stupid Tinder situation pissed me off.", "post": "So I use Tinder pretty regularly at my college, and I was browsing it earlier, as usual. I came across this girl I find *really* attractive in one of my classes, and I matched with her! I couldn't believe it. I messaged her, basically saying \"hey, aren't you in my Bio class?\" And I received no response.\n\n2 hours later I check my phone again and I see she unmatched me. Now I go to a pretty small college, so I pretty much know who she is. Also, we share a class together and have a ton of mutual friends on facebook. I just feel like it was pretty ruthless of her to do that--the least she could have said was that she accidentally swiped left on me and that she wasn't interested. It's just really kind of getting under my skin the more I think about it.\n\nI kind of wanted to send her a private message on facebook, just to say that I was kind of hurt by what she did. I don't really know what that will accomplish, but I kind of want her to realize she acted like a dick. Would this be too creepy? Should I just forget about it?", "summary": "Matched with classmate on tinder, tried to talk to her, she unmatched me. Should I send her a message saying she acted like an ass or should I try to put the situation behind me?"} {"id": "t3_wnst3", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Looking for tips warming up for race day", "post": "Hello fellow runners! Just to give a little background I have been training for the Chicago Marathon on Hal Higdon's Advanced 1 plan. Currently I am doing about 40 miles a week with my long runs being about a 9:20 pace, my marathon pace runs being about 8:25 - 8:35 (my goal is to finish in 3:45).\n\nMy current marathon time is 4:10 which does not qualify for a starting corral at Chicago, so I just signed up for a nearby half marathon in 3 weeks which is perfect for two reasons. First, it falls on my running schedule as the exact week I should run a half marathon as a race. Secondly, this gives me a chance to qualify for a Chicago starting corral.\n\nI just ran the Peachtree Road Race 10k on July 4th in 48 minutes (a friend gave me a number) so I feel fairly comfortable running 8 minute miles and recently did a 7.25 mile pace run at 8:25 pace.\n\nI need to get a 1:50:59 (8:27 pace) during this half to qualify for Chicago Corral D. I have never really run for time in anything and always run for fun, but now I do actually care about being in in Corral D at Chicago and finishing that marathon in 3:45.\n\nSince time is of the essence in this race, I need to start strong and finish just as strong if not stronger. On marathons or other races I will just start, go slow for the first mile or two to loosen up, then open the flood gates. I don't want to do that for this race and want to feel comfortable right from the start to lock into my 8:25 pace and just go that the whole way.\n\nWhat do you recommend for warming up for this? Jog a mile before the race starts? Just do lunges and some active stretching? Any tips would be helpful. Obviously I have read a lot and am aware of what some people do (strides, lunges, warmups, etc) I was just hoping for a little bit of personal advice from my fellow redditors with you having some information about my current running regime.", "summary": "Needs tips for warming up prior to running my half marathon in 3 weeks so I can qualify for a starting Corral at Chicago. I need 1:50:59"} {"id": "t3_36nz9p", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "How do I talk to a girl I don't know?", "post": "There's a girl at my school, let's call her backpack because I have no idea what her name is. \n\nI would stand outside the door waiting for my bus and she would stand outside them too and look at the door a lot, and I thought she would glance at me while doing so. After a few weeks of that happening, I decided I wanted to find out if she was actually glancing at me or just waiting for someone. I ended up finding that she was looking at me pretending to look at the door.\n\nNow I've seen her a lot since and I've been wanting to talk to her ever since I found out but I have really really low self confidence and a low self image since my ex, she abused me, lied and cheated on me and then promptly dumped me and started dating the guy she cheated on me with.\n\nI have no idea how to talk to this girl. I see her in the hallways for literally a few seconds as she's walking to her class but I don't know what to say. \n\nWhat I thought about doing was is she usually is alone by herself at the buses, and I thought about going up to her and saying \n\"I saw you were standing by yourself, I thought I'd come over and keep you company - my name is ineedgirladvice, what's yours?\"\nWe have no friend connection with each other, no classes, nothing. I've told myself that I was going to do it everyday that I see her, but like I said my self image is horrible and every time I'm about to my brain decides to go \"You're ugly and disgusting, there are better people out there.\" I've been diagnosed with severe bipolar depression and it's really hurting me a lot trying to talk to her.", "summary": "How do I talk to a girl that MAY like me but I have no idea who she is - we have no classes together, no mutual friends, we're not even in the same building together."} {"id": "t3_4bdx83", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] dating for 3 months, found out I am not his type", "post": "I met this wonderful guy and we seem to get along quite well we are very similar in the things we like and our interests and we are both really into sports. \n\nSexually everything was going great until he casually told me about the kind of girls he likes (I inquired too much). He likes petite girls with \"nice boobs and ass\", large hazel eyes and straight brown hair. He said he finds that type to be very hot. I am a very tall blonde girl with virtually no boobs or ass at all (always been self conscious about that so it adds to the insecurity.) I always thought of myself to be moderately attractive and had the same insecurities as the average girl but now I feel a lot more insecure. \n\nI feel like he is with me because of all the other stuff we have in common and because we're a good match on every aspect aside from the physical stuff. I am very attracted to him physicallly but I am worried he doesn't feel the same way especially since all his exes fit his physical type. Could he possibly be with me without being attracted to me? Personality is really important in a relationship and all but I also want to be desired physically by him", "summary": "my boyfriend limes a physical type completely different to mine. I am worried he might only be dating me for my personality"} {"id": "t3_480m27", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (15M) was wondering if she (15F) is interested in me", "post": "So I've known this girl (let's call her Liz) for about 3 years. Recently I've noticed that Liz has been giving me a little more attention I guess. We don't have any classes together so I only see her on the bus, where we actually met, and before and after school. Whenever I'm on the bus Liz always seems super happy to see me and always wants to sit next to me. Then when she sits down she asks how I'm doing and if I'm going to swim practice. I respond, ask her how she's doing, and so on (she laughs at my jokes and stuff a lot too.) After we have been taking for a bit she gets really close to me. She leans on me and her face is up on mine. I know that physical contact is a sign of someone being interested, but I'm not sure if she's just thinks of me as a friend. We get off the bus, walk together to the school and join our group of mutual friends. It's pretty much the same routine on the bus ride home, except she says goodbye. Is Liz interested in me? I have very little experience so I would be glad to listen to any advice you guys have.", "summary": "Girl showing signs of affection, (Lots of physical contact, happy to see me, likes to talk to me) is she interested?"} {"id": "t3_3qqtyu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [35F] just found out my BF [23M] has been lying to me for 3 years about his virginity", "post": "My BF and I have been together off and on for 3 years. Our relationship has been entirely long distance, due to various circumstances. When we first met online, we discussed our dating histories, and he made it seem like he was fairly experienced. He later told me he had only had sex with a couple of girls and had a blowjob from another. \n\nNow, three years later, I have finally bought a plane ticket and booked a hotel room to come see him this December, and last night he informed me that he has been lying to me all these years and he is actually a virgin. He has pecked one girl on the mouth, and that is the extent of his experience with women. \n\nI don't know what to do. The virginity itself isn't an issue, or at least it isn't much of one. But the lie is killing me. It's one he referred to and referenced and built on over and over all this time, embellishing and reinforcing it every time it came up. I have been sexual with him despite obviously never having physical sex with him, and I feel like I would have done things differently in that area if I had known. I feel stupid for never seeing through his lies, and angry at him for maintaining it so long. He wants to move forward as though nothing has changed, because for him nothing has. What do I do now?", "summary": "My long distance boyfriend of 3 years lied about being sexually experienced, and he has told me the truth only now when I have purchased a plane ticket to come see him."} {"id": "t3_1hnla8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M/24] just spent a great week with my gf [F/20] of 2 months and now she's \"thinking of her ex\"", "post": "My gf spent the week at my place and we had a great time. This morning she was acting weird and decided to go home because she was feeling homesick and texts me on the way back that she's thinking about her ex again. \n\nThis is honestly the first girl I've liked in a very long while and I care about her. I have literally no idea how to respond to her texts. She says it's unfair and things are going really well between us but the thought of him popped into her head and she's confused or whatever. Standard stuff I guess.\n\nRight now I'm giving her the silent treatment, but only because I don't know how to respond. I want to resolve this (even if it means breaking up) but I don't know how. Do I give her space to think about it, do I convince her I'm the right one for her?", "summary": "Things going really well with gf of 2 months, now she's randomly thinking about her ex. Not sure how to proceed."} {"id": "t3_48k8jv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by falling into a busy avenue", "post": "I live by a busy 4-lane avenue, in a city where town-hall couldn't care less about the state of the sidewalks. Most are in terrible state, some don't exist (like, just dirt/grass). Basically, terrible. I live on the 9th floor of a 25 floor building.\n\nI was leaving home (left side of the avenue, one way only traffic towards me) and getting away from my building walking on the lovely crappy sidewalk when my smart ass decided to look BACK and UP towards my apartment, who knows, maybe my wife was looking.\n\nAs I do so, my right foot trips into a hole in the sidewalk and twists, so I fall towards the right - except to my right was the busy avenue. I had barely time to look back in front and see .... THERE WAS NO CAR COMING!\n\nSo I fell hard and dropped into the avenue with enough force to throw my glasses all the way to the other side, and I actually ended up in the second lane.\n\nI had just enough time to get up, go for my glasses and cross the avenue before vehicles (obviously coming slow now) catch me.\n\nTook me some 2 hours to calm down. Oh, yes I twisted my ankle and went back home limping. \n\nYay I am alive =D\n\nWhat I learned: bad sidewalk and busy street = stay away from the street and pay attention.\n\nMaybe if there were vehicles coming I could have tried to force the leg and fail the left one to try and fall in the sidewalk, but probably wouldn't work, and if it did work I would probably break the foot in the hole", "summary": "twisted foot on hole in sidewalk while look away, fell into middle of busy avenue, very luckily no vehicle at the time"} {"id": "t3_3klebk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Would it be wrong of me [20F] to edit together some old videos including a past relationship?", "post": "I'm currently in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend [23M] of 6 months. I do not wish to go back with my ex or be with anyone else, I am very happy.\n\nHowever, I have a bunch of video footage from my relationship with my first love/best friend/high school sweetheart, who I was very close with for most of my life and romantically together for two years. Not sex tapes, just silly stuff. us climbing trees, jumping on th trampoline, decorating the Christmas tree, home movie type stuff. I was planning to edit the footage into a cute video as an anniversary gift, but we broke up before I finished the project.\n\nNow, I am getting into filmmaking as a career, and stumbled upon my unfinished project.\n\nPart of me would really like to finish it but make the focus less about him and more about my life, NOT TO GIVE TO HIM OR SHOW ANYONE. Purely for myself. I am not still in love with him, but I do look fondly on that time in my life and treasure those memories. I think it would be a fun project to just finish up and have a little nostalgia. After our breakup I was sexually assaulted and fell into depression, and I find comfort in those happy times when I felt more innocent and carefree. It would be more focused on that time of my life, my ex just happens to be in almost all of the pictures and videos from that time (which i dont mind, we're still good friends).\n\nBut is it a bad idea? Would it be seen as unhealthy? Would that count as keeping a secret from my boyfriend/would he understand if I tried to explain that? \n\nI think sometimes there is value in reflecting on your past, and sometimes digging up old memories an cause trouble. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out which it is in this situation.", "summary": "I want to edit together some old footage for nostalgia/personal reasons, but most of the videos include my ex boyfriend. Should I just leave it alone and or is it okay?"} {"id": "t3_q8gke", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I've become an overwhelmingly unproductive person. HELP!?", "post": "So in the past few months I have not done a single reading, homework, or online assignment (well I did HALF of one of the online ones). I have become so addicted to procrastination and satisfying whatever momentary desire I might have over doing homework or other productive, necessary things on my to-do list. I keep thinking to myself later this evening or tomorrow I'll kick my ass in gear and go on a productivity spree but that moment just never comes. I don't mean to come on here and ask you to do my homework or motivate me or anything, I'm just looking for advice on how to get out of this complete productivity block. I realize that I can't just rely on myself and expect to get over it because obviously thats not happening.", "summary": "I've become much lazier than I'd like to admit. I'm addicted to procrastination and I need your advice on how to get back into a productive flow"} {"id": "t3_2lmmdf", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by emailing an obscene comment to my friend referring to a professor, and having it accidentally get sent to my professor.", "post": "Okay. So, I am currently a graduate student at a business school. My program requires us to work in groups. Throughout the semester so far, I have become very close with my fellow group members. \n\nLast week our group was seeking feedback from a professor on an assignment we were working on. So, my friend (let's call him Jim) emailed our professor on our behalf.\n\n *Side note: The professors in our department are very casual with us and allow us to call them by their first names* So, for the purpose of context, my professor's name is John. \n\nJim gets an email back from Professor John. Jim forwards us the email without the feedback and says that John had some great insight on our assignment and that we'll meet to discuss Monday.\n\nI email Jim back imitating professor: \n\n*\"Jim, suck a dick fatty\"-- John*\n\nFast forward to this week. Jim and I laughed about my email back to him imitating John and we discussed John's suggestions on our assignment. \n\nJim decides to email Professor John back and thank him for his suggestions, but does so through our email chain (without realizing Gmail shows previous conversations attached to the email chain). So, when he did so, John saw my email to Jim. \n\nProfessor John, being a nice guy simply emails Jim back saying \"Always a pleasure to be of assistance... Also. I'm sure this is out of context, but the email message from Mr. (my name) below is concerning. If there is something we need to discuss, please let me know\"\n\nBasically, I freaked the fuck out and had to daunting task of emailing my professor and apologizing and telling him it was completely out of character. Probably the most uncomfortable apology i've ever had to make.", "summary": "I emailed friend. Told him to suck a dick, imitating professor. Professor ended up getting the email. I write awful apology"} {"id": "t3_1eti3i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why didn't he (25/m) try to hold my (25/f) hand? And other budding relationship questions.", "post": "Duration of relationship: About 2 months\n\nI feel like I'm getting mixed signals from a guy I'm trying to date.\n\nAfter reading a bunch of relationship threads on reddit, I finally mustered up the courage to ask him if he wanted to hang out today, because he is extremely shy so I figured I would make the first move. He said yes. We decided on a movie.\n\nHe gave me his address and told me to come over. When I got there, I found out that the movie he picked doesn't start for a couple of hours, but that's fine. We talk.\n\nWe go to his room to watch some TV while waiting for the movie to start. We sit on his bed and watch, but no touching or anything.\n\nWe go to the movie. He doesn't offer to pay for my ticket (which is fine, I don't mind paying it just made me worry that he doesn't like me because he didn't offer). He doesn't put the arm rest down between us, which I'm hoping is a good sign, but we don't touch during the movie.\n\nAfter, we stop at a restaurant for a drink. He pays for my drink.\n\nBack at his place, we go inside and watch a little more TV. We sit closer this time. Our hands touch this time while watching TV. He doesn't pull away, but he doesn't try to hold my hand, either. We just sit there watching with our hands touching for about 45 minutes. Talking and laughing about stuff, of course, but our hands are touching.\n\nAfter it's over I get up to leave. He tells me next time I can pick the movie. We say goodnight, but there's no goodnight hug or kiss or anything like that. \n\nWhat do you think? Does he like me?", "summary": "On one hand, I feel like he might like me since he accepted my invitation, invited me to his place a couple hours earlier than he had to, and made no effort to move his hand away when we were touching."} {"id": "t3_1v2wzt", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Trying to get that last 10 off", "post": "Hello Loseit!\n\nI am 6'8\" and 215 pounds. I'm not fat by any means, but I'm wouldn't say that I'm happy with the way I look. I was looking at the common diets in the FAQ and the only issue that I had with them was that I row, which is extremely demanding. It is not uncommon for me to have 2-3 double days of very hard work in a row. I used to be 235 and was able to drop 20 lbs through paleo and keep up my energy, but I'm grinding to a halt when it comes to weight loss and I can't seem to get under 215. I would love to be just under 205, but I'm not sure what my next move should be.", "summary": "I want to loose the last 10 lbs, but can't cut back too much because of my really intense rowing schedule. What diet should I do? "} {"id": "t3_3wwv35", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My wife (32F) and I (37M) are in a tough patch. How can I still make Christmas special?", "post": "My wife and I are a slump. We have baeen married 5 years and dated 3 before that and have two children (3 and 6 months) we are currently not being sexually intimate and this has led to resentment and strengthened my depression.\n\nI am managing the illness with medication but sleeping in the same bed with my wife knowing I can't be close to her is often enough to trigger anxiety attacks. \n\nWe are constantly fighting, she tells me I am selfish, cruel, manipulative and a host of other things. I don't think I am, but I am definitely mentally ill so maybe I am.\n\nThing is, my wife loves Christmas but this year, with our troubles, new baby and a host of other stresses means she is hating every day. I want Christmas to be a joy for her like it used to be, but anything I do is called out for being an attempt at manipulation or I am accused of being underhand, like there is some great scheme to make her feel inferior. I just want her to enjoy this time of the year.", "summary": "My marriage is in choppy waters but I still want to make Christmas special for my wife. Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope."} {"id": "t3_1oylif", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I Really Like My Best Friend (M/17)", "post": "Hello!\n\nI like my best friend. She is a girl, I am a guy. We have known each other for a year and a half, and have been best friends since we see each other a lot, talk all day (text eachother non-stop if we aren't together), and have a lot in common, from movies to music. I really like her. \n\nI have not told her how I feel, but once, a few months ago she did say she doesn't like me in that way (it just came up somehow). I am hoping she changed her mind.\n\nHer friends tell me how cute we'd be as a couple.\n\nOur friendship in a nutshell:\n\n- We have poke/tickle fights\n- We play with our feet under the table at lunch (holding them togehter, wrapping them around)\n- We text, literally, all the time!\n- When we watch movies, we sit really close to each other\n- She gives squeeze hugs :)\n\nI just don't know what to do. Should I tell her even though she has told me before she doesn't like-like me (maybe she changed her mind?)? Based on the nutshell, it seems like she does but I just can't tell. I'm just worried our friendship wouldn't be the same after I told her if she didn't feel the same way.", "summary": "I like my best friend and I want to tell her, but I am worried about what would happen to our friendship if she didn't feel the same way. "} {"id": "t3_13byyd", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm having trouble adjusting to my girlfriends libido. Reddit, is it ethical to break up with someone over a bad sexlife?", "post": "I'm having more trouble adjusting to my girlfriends libido than expected. She doesn't have a thyroid anymore, so she has to take meds for that. The one thing that the meds don't fix, is her sex drive- or lack thereof.\nWhen we make love, i feel like it's a one-way dialogue. The confusing thing is, she says she wants to have sex. If we're in/on the bed without sex, she'll say i kinda 'left her hanging' if i don't feel like doing 100% of the work.\nWe've gotten to the point where my sex drive is starting to dimish (along with my confidence) due to her lack of input in the sexual acts. She does not counter any fysical acts like giving massages or foreplay. Pretty much all she does is follow instructions when given and kiss back at appropriate time. She says that she has trouble giving fysical stuff because of insecurities. She says she enjoys our sex very much, but i can't keep giving her sexual energy if she never shows appreciation or affection. Is it unethical of me to think about leaving her mostly because of our sexlife?", "summary": "my GF doesn't have a thyroid, she lacks sex drive. because she doesn't counter any moves, i'm starting to lose sexual as well as emotional interest. is this 'bad'?"} {"id": "t3_3bxyx2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My GF [19F] of ~14 months broke up with me [22M] about a month ago. Having trouble getting her out of my head.", "post": "I'm having a tough time getting through our breakup. I think that it gets hardest when I think about her or reminisce about our time together. The problem is that everything seems to remind me of her. Almost anything I do or see brings back some memory of her. I'll see some food and remember that was a food she liked, and just like that, she's back in my head. \n\nSometimes it'll be some memory that comes up out of the blue. I'll be doing nothing and I'll remember the time we went out on a date somewhere or some other time we spent together.\n\nIs there a way to stop this, or is it just something that will go away with time. I know that I can't just wipe her from my memory, she'll always be there, but is there a way to make it happen less, or hurt less? I know I could get over her much easier if I was able to get her out of my head.", "summary": "GF who broke up with me keeps coming back into my thoughts, how do I remain sane/stop thinking of her."} {"id": "t3_50s21a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (26/F) talk about my life when feeling down?", "post": "There are some people I (26/F) am close enough to that I can be open with. With others, though, I feel uncomfortable being 100% honest when they ask \"How's life?\" because I don't want to make them uncomfortable and while I appreciate sympathy & empathy, I really do not want to be pitied. Also, I feel that it's not always the time and the place to go into the details of why I am having a difficult time.\n\nDoes anyone relate?\n\nI really don't want to outright lie-I want people to understand why I may be more subdued and like anyone else, I want to be understood. It's one thing to give the standard \"Everything's fine!\" answer when talking to strangers and acquaintances, but I want to be more forthright with my friends.", "summary": "How do I answer the question, \"How's life?\" when going through a tough time in a way that isn't disingenuous but also doesn't bring the mood down?"} {"id": "t3_dof0s", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I need your euphemisms for sex. Well, more like not-quite-sex...", "post": "Reddit, have you ever felt your vocabulary lacking when you need to refer to sexual activity with your girlfriend/boyfriend? I know I have. For whatever reasons, you and I might not be having outright *intercourse* yet, but there's definitely stuff going down, and we need to have better names than \"stuff\". Because- I don't know about you- but terms like \"oral sex\" or \"mutual manual stimulation of genitalia\" feel pretty clinical, and hearing something like \"Hey dude, you wanna feel my tits, kiss my nipples, and maybe even rub my clit semi-effectively for half an hour tonight?\" would just sound crass.\nSO: we need words and phrases to fill that gap. They can be juvenile, they can be cute, they can even be hilarious to the point of not being unusable (in fact, I expect Reddit to do nothing less than spend most of its time on this third category). I'll offer an initial few:\n\n* fooling around\n* canoodlin'\n* WOOHOO-ING", "summary": "sexual intercourse : \"making love\"/\"fucking\"/\"phallic spelunking\"/etc :: the other three bases : ???"} {"id": "t3_341y6i", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "24 y/o M, Married, One Child. Should I Sell??", "post": "I currently own my home Est. Value 106,000 at time of purchase. My wife and I have about 25,000 in the house we could get. Our reason for considering selling are two fold. The first is that I graduate and start law school next fall so I will have to quit working for at least the first year and we will need a cushion to get us through, she works but her wages are somewhat negligible when compared to our expenses. The second is that they are currently developing a huge shopping center about a mile away from my home and the value of the home has likely increased somewhat significantly. I have not had the home appraised yet because we are so on the fence. We could sell and have that money but we would then need to pay rent and our mortgage payment is pretty small 600$ and rent would likely be a little more (though not much maybe 7-800$). I just don't know if we will be able to stay afloat for 3 years while I am in law school without any quickly attainable assets.", "summary": "have 25,00 in a house, am going to law school and will need the cushion. sell the house or try and figure something else out?"} {"id": "t3_349u6h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend (20/F) broke up with me(22/M) because she turned lesbian", "post": "So, after 5 months she figured out she likes girls . She's been thinking about that for a long time and after meeting a certain girl, she decided she is more happy with girls rather than boys.\n\nNow, the problem is that I lost a soul mate. She is the first to understand my problems, first that I opened up to, not just as a girlfriend, but as a person. She knows more about me than my parents. All that I had planned is now lost, I am lost, I don't know what to do and how to deal with this. I am too emotional to just forget some one that I loved with all of my heart, and even tho she did all of this to me, I still love her and care for her.\nReddit, what should I do? How do I get over this? I've taken some pills to calm myself down, but I don't want to be on pills...", "summary": "GF breaks up with me because she decided she likes girls, broke my heart, lost my soul mate. Need help to get over it, if possible."} {"id": "t3_1wimy1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (25m) read my (22f) journal", "post": "I keep a journal and although I'm not an avid writer, I do make note of the things that are a big deal imo, whether its good or bad. \n\nImportant info: \n- been with current bf for 2.5 years\n- cheated on bf with ex 2 years ago \n- I haven't completely forgiven myself for hurting bf\n\nA couple of weeks ago I dreamt I was in McDonalds and my boyfriend was sitting at a table, and my ex talking to him. They both looked up, noticing I had walked in, and I walked out with my ex. \n\nMy boyfriend, sometime since then and last night, read my journal. He's convinced I'm not over him and is considering breaking up with me. \n\nI completely understand that he has every right to break up with me or what have you, but I do love my bf and I want nothing more than for us to make it through this and continue until we're grey and saggy. How do we overcome this??", "summary": "cheated on bf with ex 2 years ago, bf read journal entry of dream with ex, thinks I'm in love with him and is considering breaking up with me."} {"id": "t3_2ueym1", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [18M] have lost all my girlfriends [16F] trust and don't think I can get it back", "post": "Lately me and my girlfriend of a year have been having a rough time. She had a pregnancy scare, she is stressed about school and wasn't sure if she would be happier focusing on herself or not. She broke up with me and I being sad and wanting to be comforted texting an old friend of mine in which I used to have interest. I reminded this friend how I used to feel about them and that I'd like to hang out to be comforted, they agreed and said they used to feel the same. I told them I wouldn't be able to move on for a while and that I still love my girlfriend.\nHowever, my girlfriend decided she wanted to be back together the following day. I told this girl who was planning on seeing me that I could no longer see her that day and me and my girlfriend ended up going on a fun date. It was a great time but on the way back home, while my girlfriend had my phone in her hand she got a text from this girl and got curious as to what she was talking about. She saw this and got terribly upset, wondering why I wouldn't just ask her to comfort me. I told her that I tried but she wanted nothing to do with me at the time and that I was looking for something similar to her, to recreate the feel of cuddling with her in hopes that I could feel a little better. She went hysterical and started crying like crazy, I felt bad, she no longer trusts me and decided that the only was we can stay together is if she forces herself to care less. I know this will make her eventually break up with me. I decided to delete my Facebook and all my phones contacts so I do not do this again, I know I won't and I now hate myself for being disloyal even in the slightest way. My low self esteem and need for contact has ruined my relationship and I do not know what to do to regain the trust I once had. Any advice?", "summary": "my girlfriend saw my texts I sent to a girl while we were broken up and fighting and got really upset and thinks I do not care for her or love her, don't know how I could fix this"} {"id": "t3_2sqii7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my ex [18/F] five months, broke up last night because she needed to learn who she was.", "post": "I'm a junior in college, I met a freshman and we hit it off really well. She seemed to be a level headed, mature person and I really respected that. We had all the same interests and shared many common views. We quickly said that we loved each other, however we are both extremely busy with school so we just saw each other mostly on weekends.\n\nOver winter break however she began to grow distant--- stopped texting, told me she wasn't ready for a super serious relationship (understandable neither am I yet) she began talking about saving sex til marriage (she's catholic/I'm not... yet we've already had it multiple times) and then the day before break ended we broke up because she wanted to take school more seriously. \n\nWe got back together the night after because she felt she made a mistake. I felt an obvious distance still and then confronted her with it last night where we broke up again for the same reasons. Which are that she wants to explore who she is, make friends beyond me and take school more seriously. She reluctantly broke up with me and even said she still loved me. However, I decided that enough was enough, that breaking up is final and I respectfully walked away. \n\nI feel a little like a loser, I feel like I wasn't good enough for her to stay but I understand her reasons. I'm still hurting though but absolutely embracing it as it obviously was not meant to be and was doomed for failure.", "summary": "A girl who I thought was mature enough for a relationship with an older guy, actually wasn't, and is still trying to figure herself out. (big surprise) Being lonely hurts so I'm looking for guidance and kind words."} {"id": "t3_rkowa", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A little help reddit? I am absolutely terrified of math and want to overcome it...", "post": "I have so much trouble with algebra and above that its crippling. Im in College now.\nMaybe it started in elementary, I don't know, I didn't even like math back then. It sent me into panic attacks back then even with the smallest of problems. I do know that anytime I even see a math problem I start to sweat. I actually have anxiety attacks when I do any kind of complicated math problems. It has hurt me so much through high school and now college. I feel like I have tried everything to try and make my brain work better with math. I have all but given up with it. I have even changed my major when I found out I had to take a hard math class. Its like a freaking mental handicap and I'm sick of it. Im willing to retry everything if I an get some suggestions!", "summary": "I hate algebra and almost any kind of math, it seems impossible for me to do and I want to change that.*"} {"id": "t3_360qr2", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By asking my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.", "post": "So today I get picked up from work by my SO, mind you she's a vegetarian. As soon as she picks me up I tell her I'm in the mood for some Wienerschnitzel which i haven't had in a really long time. Mind you she's ok with it and says she'll figure out something to eat. So as we get to our destination I go inside to get food and come back, and she's listening to her angry playlist. This playlists consists of My Chemical Romance, Nirvana, and System of a Down to name a few. When I ask her what she's going to eat she totally ignores me, ok i thought maybe she didnt hear me over the sound of the music. Again, I ask this time louder and she totally ignores me. So at this point my mind is racing Wtf did I do? We drive straight home and she gets out of the car slams the door and goes to the apartment only she can't get in because she dropped her house keys and I picked them up. (Insert evil laugh) she goes back to the car for what I assume is to look for her keys and by this time I'm in the kitchen eating my food and typing this on mobile.", "summary": "Went to get some Weinerschnitzel come back to my gf car only for her to be totally pissed off. Why? I have no idea."} {"id": "t3_310iy1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (22/f) still find my mind wandering to my ex (33/m) sometimes. Does this happen to anyone else?", "post": "I'll try to keep this short. It's been over three since things ended with my ex. I've been with my current boyfriend (m/22) for about 2.5 years and everything is really awesome! So this isn't an issue of going back to my ex or whatever but I was just wondering if anyone else out there still thinks about their ex sometimes even after so long. \n\nBackground story. I was a senior in high school when it started and a first year in college when we ended things. The relationship lasted around 7/8 months and it was my first serious, \"I love you,\" kind of relationship. The way things ended were very dramatically and traumatically. I made stupid decisions and was naively led into thinking that being with him was wonderful and it was cool to have someone so much older like me (yes, stupid I know). My family life has been really horrible for many years; both parents are very emotionally and physically abusive so I clung to him for the attention and support. The only other person I had was my sister (she and I have always been extremely close) and she saved me from wanting to kill myself when my parents attacked me after finding out about the guy and forcing me to end it with him.\n\nI guess my question is, does anyone still think about their exs sometimes? I know that I don't love him anymore and wouldn't ever consider getting together with him even if I were single or whatever but I think the experience was so ingrained in my head that it lingers on. I'm guessing it'll eventually stop coming to my head but yeah... any experience?", "summary": "Dated older guy and things ended poorly; still think about him from time to time; does this happen with other people too?"} {"id": "t3_4i5nee", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19M] feel overwhelmed by siblings [23F, 25M] successes", "post": "My brother, 25, is the oldest child and was the \"example\". He did the things that typical high schoolers did, but was never caught, was never suspected. He was great at never getting caught. He received a 33 ACT score, graduated 4th in the class, and went on to attend an Ivy League school. He transferred closer to home jr. year for personal reasons and graduated in 5 years. \n\nOverall, he's been a success. Got out of college, got a great job, and is living on his own, paying off his debt with relative ease.\n\nMy sister, 23, took the hard way with everything. Hard to explain, but she moved out right after high school graduation and got a full time job, only attending an online nursing degree. \n\nAfter a few years, she moved in with her boyfriend, now husband, and continued working full time. In the past year, she was married, had a child, bought a home, and became an RN. She, too, is \"successful\" in my parents eyes. My sister lives happily in her house with her husband and young son, while working as a full-time nurse.\n\nMe, 19, just finished my freshman year at college in which, I struggled. I finished with a 2.6 GPA and received a D in one of my classes. I have no idea what I actually want to do with my life, I am still undecided. I'm worried that I will not live up to the same success as my siblings. I feel overwhelmed because I don't want to be the only child who was not a \"success\". Am I being dumb?", "summary": "My siblings are mostly successful and living happily. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and am worried that I'll be the only child that was a failure."} {"id": "t3_1q600z", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Hi r/Offmychest, mind listening for a second?", "post": "I'm 22 years old now, no job, no car, no real life to speak of. I play video games am pretty over weight, horrid self-esteem and can't seem to pull anything together. Since high school everything has gone down hill, I gained weight, lost all my friends in a move, and can't connect with anyone around me.\n\nAs said, I'm a gamer so naturally I have friends online sort of, well today I fell into a trap of a situation, a friend who I've known for about 3 years who won't talk on mic, but refers to herself as a female, told me I was important and special. It felt AMAZING to see it typed, but once again, it was typed, she even told me, indirectly, that I was a place holder till her boyfriend is back around.\n\nI can't sleep without crying myself out, or clutching to a pillow and pretending to be cuddling someone. I hate it, I want to move far away, and try to get my life back on track, but with no job, no money, and little education, I'm terrified and don't know what to do.", "summary": "I suck at life and grasp at the smallest hope of someone liking me in an online, never seen or heard her, relationship."} {"id": "t3_1tf379", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I break up with someone?", "post": "The girl I'm \"dating\" (kind of) treats me bad. We have different expectations and views of relationship. I'm unhappy with the current state of things and there's no way to fix them.\n\nThough I can't simply ignore her, I don't like playing games. Also, I'm trying to build up the courage to just say \"hey, it's over\" or something. I don't know, she's my first GF (also my ex), I don't know how to put an end to this. I really like her but I can't accept this kind of behaviour.\n\nShe's 19, I'm 21. We barely meet or talk. We last met like 3 weeks ago because she's busy with school and work. She doesn't respond to my texts [mostly] and I simply feel like she doesn't give a shit. \n\nYes, we talked about it several times. Didn't change the situation, she basically told me that I have to accept everything about her [including lack of time for me or even affection]. We argued last night, of course via facebook [because hey, we don't see each other very often] about her lack of time for me. I told her that I'm getting less and less comfortable with things and she doesn't care because she can get high. She got upset, turned off chat for me and ignores me. I even reached out my hand and asked if we could stop arguing, no response.", "summary": "Started dating my EX again. She doesn't have time for me, I feel like insecure crap. How do I put an end to things? Via facebook chat..?"} {"id": "t3_q4vl2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Who is right in this argument?", "post": "My friend and I were discussing about her not being able to get a job out of state at a horse riding facility in Montana. She is currently not even 16 yet. I told her that it is almost impossible to get a job at that age, and to get what she wants. What she wants is to get paid, as well as have the facility to provide a trainer, lessons, and other requirements. I provided her with a local pony riding facility that provides riding privileges to those who volunteer. She says what I suggested is basically poop. I believe this is the best she will EVER receive. Am I correct, or is hers even REMOTELY possible.", "summary": "Friend wants job at horse facility that provides lesson/trainer. She is 15. Says my help of a volunteer facility with free rides is poop. Who is right? "} {"id": "t3_2hlp6j", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Why is Low Carb suggested in the FAQ?", "post": "I'm sure I'll get downvoted for this but I'm wondering why things like low carb and four hour body are suggested in the faq? The reason I'm saying this is because these are rigid/absolute approaches that can lead to eating disorders in the long run. I speak from experience I tried low carb ( keto) and saw some success with it initially. I quickly deemed it the panacea to being fat, but as time went on it became a mental drag to stay on the low carb diet. When I came off of it or \" cheated\" I cheated **HARD**! I would think to myself \" eh, it's ok i'm just going to back on low carb tomorrow ( or Monday)\", and when I wasn't low carbing I would eat like food was going out of style because I was planning to return to miserable low carbing. This happened over and over again. Eventually, **I ended up 80 pounds heavier than I was initially when I had first started the low carb diet.** I later learned that rigid dietary approaches lead to eating disorders like mine and that I wasn't alone. \n\nI think it would be a lot better if the FAQ explicitly mentioned and suggested flexibly dieting ( and counting Macro nutrients) as an option. Overweight people will find the results from low carb diets very appealing because the results are initially awesome, but I'm worried they will fall into the same trap of the on/off switch that is a diet/binge cycle that I had. I think the FAQ shoud promote an eating life style that will be maintainable for life, and the restrictive behavior from low carb and four hour body is just not maintainable for a life style in my opinion. I can't remember the exact quote, but Layne Norton said something like \" If you can't see yourself on the staying on the diet 10 months from now, than you shouldn't be doing it.\"", "summary": "I think low carb is not the best option for most, I think flexible dieting is. I have experienced an eating disorder from low carb, and successfully lost all the weight I gained from binge eating."} {"id": "t3_2nn6su", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "120 Pounds Lost", "post": "I think it's about time I posted something to this sub but I'm terrible with words.\n\nHere are some progress shots 1 1/2 years after changing my lifestyle. 340 to 220.\n\nFace \n\nBody \n\nI work at a job that gives me various levels of physical strain each day. Some days I'll be at a computer all day, others I'll be moving 1,200 lb pallets around a warehouse and tossing heavy boxes up high. I never went to a gym during this time but I started watching what I ate.\n\nI understood that I have terrible willpower so I took it in baby steps. Walking to lunch, switching to just water, and taking a daily multivitamin kicked off my weight loss and I found myself losing 5-10 pounds every week or two. My lunch withered from a large meal+extras to a single entree and small side with water to drink. My dinner became a sandwich with some extras, and I was pretty much always hungry.\n\nFor exercise I had my job which keeps me fairly active. I don't know how much walking I do even on my slow days, but with myself being the size I was any activity was basically a workout. I was always exhausted by stairs and out of breath but now I enjoy how light I feel walking up them. At home I had a door-frame pull up bar that my friend/roommate encouraged me to use. When I first tried it I could do 0.1 pull ups and it sucked, but I would always try again when I walked past it in the hall and as time went on I got to my current max of 4. \n\nThere was a nice corner counter in my kitchen I would also stand at and do dips. Whenever I was in the kitchen I did as many as I could. I started with 10 small dips, but now I'm up to 40 big ones. Basically as far as exercise goes, it was just body weight exercises and what I was able to do at work.", "summary": "I started watching my intake and making small changes to my life which over time has led to progress and a better lifestyle."} {"id": "t3_252r0t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22/m] and friend [24/f] have been friends for ~8 months. Sometimes I feel bad because...", "post": "...I think she's fake, a liar, and not interested in my emotions. I feel like her therapist. When her and her boyfriend get into a fight, she ends up calling me asking if she overreacted. Sometimes the calls are constructive, other times they're filled with nothing to talk about. The calls can last up to an hour and a half. I'm her therapist.\n\n---\n\nWe workout together, occasionally. Her boyfriend doesn't know that we're \"friends\". This last weekend, there were 13-15 calls exchanged between her and me (about half were missed from where she tried to call me). Total of ~2 hours of talk time. Monday morning she called because she got into a fight with her boyfriend. Tuesday rolled around and I felt sick to my stomach. \n\nI didn't talk to her on Tuesday. Wednesday night she asked me to come workout. I agreed. After we finished, I felt bad.\n\n---\n\nI want to express myself to her, but I feel like she's a douchebag and wouldn't understand. I'm a very sensitive person and expressing myself makes me happy. Especially when someone understands my feelings.\n\nI need suggestions on how to talk to her about this.", "summary": "I don't feel good about being my friend's therapist without getting much in return. How do I express myself to her? In the past I thought about dating her, but now, I'm not so sure."} {"id": "t3_1ulz0d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17M] am having trouble breaking up with my girlfriend [16F] of nearly two years", "post": "I feel like this breakup has been coming for a while. I've had on and off feelings of wanting to break up with her since summer, but until now, they've gone away very quickly. But its not as simple as just breaking up with her, to me. \n\nMy issue is that I don't dislike her in any way, I just dont feel the same sort of attraction I did for the first year or so of being together. I still care for her a ton, and I know that any talk of breaking up, even hypothetically, would send her into a terrible spiral and thats the last thing I want. I'm just not into being romantic with her anymore. \n\nShe also has issues with self-image and self-worth that are going to be hard to avoid, as she's going to bring that up and blame that for the break up, when simply, I just want to be single right now. I miss being free to hang out with my friends whenever I want without feeling obliged to be with her, and I miss my enjoyment of sports that she inadvertently guilts me out of. \n\nTo top that off, I will probably end up losing half my friends over a breakup because their her friends that simply took a liking to me, but we all never got close, so my social life can go in the crapper. \n\nAny advice whatsoever would help a ton.", "summary": "I want to be single but also still care for my girlfriend very much and dont want to send her into a downward spiral."} {"id": "t3_1nvobk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friends are no help, so I thought I would try Reddit", "post": "I found out my live-in-girlfriend of 3+ [27/F] years had been cheating on me...So I confronted her [M/28], and broke up with her, and then moved out. She is desperately trying to win me back and call/texts/emails me about how she wants to fix things and make it work.\n\nBut the girl [F/28] that told me about my unfaithful girlfriend, I have secretly had a thing for for over a year now... ever since I was introduced to her by my ex. And it turns out, this girl is in love with me! I went from what should of been a horrible time in my life, to the happiest times of my life. I'm still in shock of how everything went down and getting use to living on my own, but I can't get this girl out of my head. Part of me feels guilty for how this all happened, and I think sometimes I should let the ex know about it, or just let her find out on her own... \n\nShould I tell the ex? Should I feel bad for this? Or should I be pumped the universe made this happen for me and let everything work out how it's suppose to?", "summary": "Girl told me my girlfriend was fucking her friend. Turns out she is secretly in love with me and now we have been dating since I broke up with my ex"} {"id": "t3_3ea0bi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my GF [17 M/F] dating for 3 months, her friend told me she loves me, what do i do?", "post": "This might be a long paragraph so sorry for that, im just really confused, and this is my first post ever\n\nI have been dating my girlfriend just shy of 3 months and have already expressed my feelings for her (i.e. told her she means everything to me and i love her) she has said the same to me and aside from not seeing each other alot because of busy schedules (me=work, her= softball and strict family) and the here and there occasional fight we're in a good relationship. \n\nNow her friend, lets call her Mary, has been friends with her in school and played softball with her for years so she knew her well before i did and talked to her alot. Since we have started dating i have always gone to mary for advice for help since shes a girl and knows things about my gf and i being in my first relationship dont understand them. I've never hung out with her unless my girlfriend was with me. \n\nToday after not seeing my gf for 3 weeks, I went out to dinner with my gf and mary, it was really nice but as soon as i got home mary sent me a text saying \" im sorry but i gotta tell you, i love you\" \n\nI don't have feelings for her, she is only as a friend to me totext and that's it, and she asked me not to tell my girlfriend because shes afraid she will lose both me and her as friends.", "summary": "dating gf for 3 months and friend tells me she loves me. I have no feelings for her and do i tell my girlfriend"} {"id": "t3_2twb9w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to Successfully Move On (f/19)", "post": "I have been with the same guy for well over three years (on and off). We've had an awfully rocky relationship..both of us haven't been entirely faithful to the other.. whether it be emotional or physical. However we have always been so drawn to each other that we crawl back to one another. Yes this isn't healthy, I understand, and in hindsight I ought to have been more strong. But that's besides the point. Anyhow, now he is embarking on a new career pathway.. the army. So the relationship is done indefinitely, we've come to a mutual consensus that long distance is hard for a healthy couple,let alone an unhealthy one. There is no bad blood and I feel some relief because I think he was beginning to resent me due to my neediness and obsession with affection. I'm not going to divulge too much information about it but I guess I'm just looking for some support and advice. After always crawling back, how do I maintain my strength and resolve. How do I ensure this is over for real? What should I do?", "summary": "ending of a long relationship because it is genuinely what is best. However,have a history of falling back into the relationship. I'm just asking how do I ensure that this is the last time. Any insight would be appreciated :)"} {"id": "t3_3795g9", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by asking my mother's opinion on women", "post": "First post - bear with me.\n\nSo about an hour ago, I was watching an episode of the show Quantum Leap, and this particular episode was about a man that came back from WWII with a Japanese bride. He then suffers tremendous ridicule from his mother and neighbors.\n\nAfter the show, I asked her what she would think if I brought home a non-white girlfriend or bride. I expected to joke around a little bit then get an, \"as long as she makes you happy,\" but no. I was shocked to hear hesitation and a sigh. \n\"Mom?\" I respond.\n\"Well...\" She says. \nThis is where things took a turn. I sat there on the couch for an hour trying to get a straight answer out of her, but I couldn't tell if she hadn't taken my question seriously or if she was intentionally avoiding my question. By the time she saw my straight face and realized how serious I was, she gave me her answer. Although this answer was broken up into lectures about religion and tradition, and what would make her happy, I knew what she was saying.\n\nNow I'm afraid to bring home any girl that may not fit into my mother's bigoted standards and I lost a good amount of faith in her views. I understand that she was raised by parents who are no where near as understanding as she is, but I can't shake this weird feeling I have in me that I won't make my mother happy, even though love is about making myself happy. I love my mom but she really worries me sometimes.", "summary": "asked my mom what she would think about me marrying/dating a non-white girl, we about it, I discover my mom is more of a bigot than I thought."} {"id": "t3_54da5z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "hanging [19 M] with this girl [17 F] every night past 3 months, am I dating/in a relationship with her? (feel blind to what's happening)", "post": "I've been talking to this girl since the beginning of this year but just the past 3 months we've been seeing each other every single night. She's not the best at expressing herself emotionally like if I tease by saying I'm gonna leave or walk ahead she'll grab my arm and say \"no..\" (neither of us are 12 but this kind of behavior isn't the best reminder). My question is if we're actually dating or in a relationship even though she's not comfortable talking about it or setting rules in a direct way. It's really easy for me to get intimate, everytime we greet I hug her and we kiss for a little less than a minute and do the same when I walk her home.", "summary": "kiss girl upon meetin and kiss her goodbye every night past few months, she only sees me and rarely hangs out with other people and i kinda do the same, are we something or am I overthinking"} {"id": "t3_252rdr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [21M] starting to feel self-conscious about my lack of relationships.", "post": "I have one friend who is already married, another two friends who just got together (one of which who was recently in the same boat as me, now I feel like the odd one out), and countless other friends who either have or have had relationships. I'm beginning to feel like there's something wrong with me and that I'm falling behind. \n\nI know that I'm probably self biasing, and if I look around I'd probably see more single people than not, but it's hard to reconcile my rational thoughts with the irrational ones. Maybe I just need someone to either convince me that there's nothing wrong with me, or tell me that there definitely is and I should start trying to fix it. \n\nI don't know if I particularly want a relationship, I don't think I've met anyone that it would have worked out with, I'm just feeling very self-conscious, and am afraid that I'm getting bitter. \n\nI don't know if this is appropriate to this subreddit. Apologies if it's not.", "summary": "Lonely-ish, self-conscious of lack of experience/relationships, feel like odd one out. Am I?"} {"id": "t3_ejyf8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Marginalized by the CEO and don't know how/if I need to say something", "post": "At our annual holiday party at the kickass startup company I work at, our CEO gave a slightly inebriated speech/toast. In it, she mentions the four programmers who are my co-workers. She mentioned and thanked the CTO and the COO. In fact, it was incredibly awkward when the toast was over and everyone realized she hadn't thanked ME. \n\nThis is another slight, however small, in a long history of marginalizing behavioral towards me. I feel like I would like to address it with her because, frankly, the programmers aren't the ones who run everything day-to-day. They work EXTREMELY hard but so do I. My contributions as PR and Operations Director never seem to matter.\n\nI'm not entirely sure what to do. We are the only two women in our office of eight. I just hate these repeated awkward moments that everyone else picks up on but yet none of them DO anything, like say \"Dont forget Jen!\". Has this happened to anyone else? What did you do or wish you had done?", "summary": "my CEO does not acknowledge my work contributions but I loooove my company otherwise. Advice on how to discuss with her?"} {"id": "t3_11vcgy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to rebuild [19] trust in a relationship, shes [18], we've been off and on for two years.", "post": "Well, basically I am/was dating this girl off and on for about two years. I've had 5 other serious relationships before this one, and I can honestly say, this has been on of the most unique/intimate relationship i have ever been apart of. I've never cried in front of a girl until this one (multiple times) and i've never told a girl I loved her without trying to get into her pants. Over the past few months, we've had some trust issues, (we'd break up for like a day she'd hook up with someone, id do the same) and now we have very rough trust issues and she's convinced that it will never work or be the same, but i can tell shes indecisive, and I feel as though anything is possible with this girl because I swear to god if real love exists, this is the one of my life. (We've been together since I was a junior in highschool, I'm now a sophomore in college(19), shes a freshmen in college(17)).\nWhat do i do.", "summary": "Two year long relationship, found the love of my life, How do you rebuild trust, I don't want to lose her."} {"id": "t3_219x6y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 F] want to break up with my long-distance boyfriend [20 M] almost 3 years on/off, boyfriend suddenly had a huge change in values", "post": "I grew up living two doors down from my current boyfriend. We started dating when I was 16, 3 years with a one-year break in the middle.\n\nMy boyfriend attends an extremely conservative college. When I say this, I mean I overheard two guys talking about how aborted babies go to hell in the common room of the dorm. I don't mean for this to sound judgmental of peoples' personal views, but my boyfriend seemed to have a huge change in his values. Before, he was fairly laidback and open-minded. Since attending this college, he has been saved by Jesus. I am spiritual but don't identify with a religion, which bothers him. He bothers me to go to church with him when I always say no. When discussing religion one time, I said \"I don't bother you about your beliefs, so why do you bother me about mine?\" and he said \"They're not my \"beliefs\" they're the truth!\" This personality really turns me off and shocks me. \n\nIn addition to this, I have lost all sexual attraction to him. Although it pains me to admit this, I have been fantasizing about a guy I used to have a little thing with. I mean I have sex dreams about him and think about it all of the time. I don't think that's healthy.\n\nI have a codependent personality - I have always had a boyfriend or a love interest and for me it's a sense of security and stability. I have really bad luck with friends and social anxiety, making a boyfriend perfect comfort. Having someone to text makes me so happy and I'm bracing the impact of what I know I have to do. \n\nWorst of all, he plays college baseball and I won't see him until summer.I want to do it before then, mostly because he deserves to know and also because I wanna be single on spring break (shameless). I've asked him if I could drive up for lunch and he said there's no time. He broke up with me over the phone before and it was terrible, I can't see doing it to him. But I feel like I'm lying to him by not saying anything.", "summary": "Long-term boyfriend had sudden change in values, I have started having sexual feelings about another guy, I am codependent and don't know when to time the break-up"} {"id": "t3_1jzhcv", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Help with \"Picking Up Girls\"", "post": "So currently me and my friends are on vacation in a place where we speak enough of the language to have very good conversations and easily talk to people, however at times are a bit rusty. Currently we've decided to go out a lot the last week into town and enjoy some of the local bars. These past few days we've for the first time in our lives tried out luck with girls. \n\nOnly problem is we're all virgin MMORPG and have little to know experience with this. We usually spend 20 minutes sitting thinking of what to say or how approach them and by then we find ourselves sitting like idiot and they've left. \n\nReddit, we don't know how to look or dress or speak with confidence and we need help on how to do this.", "summary": "We're Nerds and we need to figure out how to speak dress and act with confidence to help us have the summer vacation of our lives."} {"id": "t3_1lnb28", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[27M] with my [25F] girlfriend together for 9 months, wondering what to do.", "post": "Hi everyone,\n\nI'll try and keep this as short as possible. I'm an American who went to work in Dubai for about a year. From last April until January I was with one company. Towards the end of my time with this company, I met my GF (we'll call her M). \n\nM and I hit it off immediately. Shortly after we met, I found out I was laid off from my job. I left Dubai and went back to the States for about a month. During that time, I got a good tip on a job back in Dubai which meant I'd be able to be with M again. So I went back. \n\nThe job turned out to be extremely low paying and not what was advertised. I dealt with that for 4 months and searched for and found a job back in the States last month. She begged me not to go, but I insisted I wouldn't be able to find a decent paying job in Dubai (true at the time). \n\nSo now I'm back and we are Skyping everyday and I'm missing her like crazy. This new job back in the States is great but she isn't here and I miss her terribly. \n\nThere is another job opportunity I'm pursuing in Qatar. My dream would be that the job is good and I would be able to go back to the Middle East. Dubai is only a 1 hour flight from Qatar so I could see M much more often. \n\nI guess my question is: Should I leave the States again to pursue my relationship with M? I really love her and miss her and my life feels empty without her.", "summary": "Was in Middle East. Met girl. Came back to States, left to get job near girl. Job bad, came back to States for better job. Job good, no girl, I'm sad. What do?"} {"id": "t3_255wll", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Update] Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of 2.5 years, I forgave her but am now having second thoughts.", "post": "[Original Post](\n\nSo I talked to my girlfriend about it. She understood blah blah that worked out. The problem is: I don't feel any better. I feel so strange about our relationship now because of things she's said to me. I think I want to break it off. Check my post history if you want to see some of our problems. \n\nIt's just weird now because she acts so happy. Once again is talking about the future. Booked something for our next anniversary (next February). And misses me on the days I stay home - I finally got the alone time I've been asking for. I'm not sure how to approach this. I don't want it to end but at the same time I hope it does, while wishing things were perfect once again.", "summary": "Talked to girlfriend about issues. Didn't make me feel better. Things are good but I don't feel excited about the relationship anymore."} {"id": "t3_4ih2hc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] with my live-in bf [25M] of 1.5 yrs. Vacation plans making me question the relationship", "post": "I have been together with my boyfriend for 1.5 years, living together for half a year. I finally finish university this Summer and have a couple of months off before I start a very high paying but also very stressful job where I'm unlikely to be able to take significant time off for a couple of years.\n\nI know this post probably seems like a first world problem, but it's making me wonder if it's a symptom of a bigger value clash. \n\nI wanted to go away on vacation for two weeks this Summer. My boyfriend is working but has not managed to build up savings. as such, I offered to pay for his flights from money I've saved from my part time job. He'd have to pay for his other expenses but since I wanted to go to cheaper countries these probably wouldn't be more than \u00a330 a day which he can afford on his salary (and in fact is probably close to what he'd spend staying at home or less if we sublet our apartment for some of that time).\n\nMy only criteria was that we'd go somewhere outside of Europe that was not super expensive to fly to or stay in (like Japan). I gave about 20 suggestions and he would not agree to any of them for no particular reason. He is saying that I'm being uncompromising and unreasonable for not wanting to stay in Europe, but I just really wanted to have a final trip before my job to somewhere exotic! \n\nMy other concern is that last summer we went away for a couple of weeks and his behaviour and negative attitude absolutely ruined the trip. I'm also concerned that I'll end up paying a \u00a3500 air fare for him and then hating the trip because of him.\n\nAm I being crazy? Who is in the wrong here? This is really upsetting me as travel is a value that I really want my partner to share and am wondering if this might develop into a dealbreaker.", "summary": "both me and boyfriend think the other party is being unreasonable about vacation plans. Help me with my first world problem please?"} {"id": "t3_1h6gn1", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Me[20M]; inexperienced with girls, about to ask a girl[20] from class out", "post": "**Info about me**: For the first time in my life I actually feel happy and confident, the only problem is that sometimes I feel lonely. I have never had any experience with girls, I was always that shy, withdrawn kid. My flirting skills don't exist. However, after months of hard work I've improved my social skills, have a bunch of friends, I traveled quite a bit, and have some interesting hobbies, I just still suck with girls because I have no idea what I'm doing.\nThis summer I plan to learn picking up skills, learn how to flirt and so on. I'm going to cold approach some girls, I have even saved up money for a bootcamp. So this shit is going to happen, finally !\n\nSo there's this cute cool girl in my class. We've met at the beginning of classes, in October last year. We aren't too close, but during that time we've had a couple of interesting conversations, and sometimes we talk and I think she occasionally playfully teases me or something (like, telling me how she hates me and then smilling?). So I guess we are like 2 friends acquaintances/friends from a class but not too close.\n\nA few weeks ago after that improvement in my life I realized I kinda liked her I would like to meet her outside uni, spend some time with her and do something fun. The problem is, like I said, I have literally 0 experience with that stuff. So I played with that idea of asking her out a little bit, then I decided yeah let's do it and now I have doubts so I came here.\nShould I ask her out **now**, or learn how to flirt, travel, improve myself a little bit more and then **after summer** do it ?\n\nHow does one ask a girl out anyways? And what the heck would I do if she accepted the invitation.", "summary": "met a girl in a class October last year, now is the end of studying year, we kinda now each other, I'm inexperienced with girls, should I ask her out or take PUA training ?"} {"id": "t3_1kd9ni", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[21F] with guy [23M] ...3 dates later and idk where it's going", "post": "So this guy is my classmate. We've been in several classes together and only recently have started getting to know each other.\nWe've been on 3 dates and they have all been so much fun! We laugh a lot and truly enjoy each other's company. The only thing is that he hasn't once tried to make a move.\n\nThe dates are utterly amazing and then when it's time to say goodbye it gets awkward. I know that he's a really shy guy but I'm worried maybe I'm just in over my head and he may just want to be friends.\n\nAlso want to add that we text each other the days we don't see each other or have class and he's always telling me I'm beautiful. I like him more and more through each conversation but I don't want to get turned down if I try to make a move the next time we have a date!", "summary": "3 dates later with this AMAZING guy, but he has not made a move on me! Does he want to be just friends?"} {"id": "t3_t098b", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "You did something altruistic, yet you didn't want them to know...(share a story)", "post": "My girlfriend and I were on our way to El Burrito Loco to get some food. We noticed a man sitting on cement steps that belonged to a vacant lot on a hill alone, and cold. We saw some fellow students walk past him and look, but kept on walking. We had to do something.\n\nAs we were walking across the street, we noticed something strange: under his hood (which was facing forward) we saw a half-profile of his face, staring directly at us (creepy). We reached him and asked, \"Hey man, are you okay?\" He replied, \"Yeah, I'm just sitting here, to be out of the wind...(his eyes start to water) just having a bad night is all. What are you guys up to?\" I replied, \"We were just going to get some food, when we saw you. We just wanted to make sure you were okay, because people walk by a lot of things these days.\"\n\nWe parted ways, but my girlfriend- being the ever most caring thing on this Earth, had to do something. I however, am selfish. Seeing how this was not going to fly, I made her a deal: I would buy two extra steak tacos, fully loaded, then play off like the restaurant messed up our order to the guy on the street, so he wouldn't feel like it was charity. She agreed.\n\nWe walk out of the restaurant, tacos in hand with the rest of our food. We approached the steps only to find that he was gone, nowhere to be found. We ate the tacos for breakfast the next day.", "summary": "we wanted to do something nice for someone and play off like it wasn't charity, only to eat the nice thing for breakfast the next day."} {"id": "t3_351e18", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[23M] met a real cool [30f] over the weekend. Need advice on asking her out.", "post": "So let me preface this by saying I plan to ask her out tomorrow. I am nervous and want some advice on the best way to do it. \n\nI am 23. I live at home with my Aunt an Uncle, in the suburbs of a big city. I met a girl hiking who lives in said city. She is 30, which is a bit of an age gap, but we share a lot of common interests, and I like her. \n\nAt the end of the hike she gave me her number so we could meet up next month for a music festival we are both attending. I am not the flirtatious type (read; hella oblivious), but we had good conversations during the Hike. \n\nShe also added me on Facebook, but her FB says \"in a relationship.\" No mention of a boyfriend during the whole day, however, so I'm not sure what to make of it. \n\nAnyway I see very little to lose, and even have a great idea for a date in the city. \n\nSo a couple questions:\n\n1) Should I call her over texting, and when is a good time?\n\n2) Am I correctly reading that she is interested?\n\n3) Is the age gap weird?\n\n4) Is there any other reason not to ask her out for a date **this** weekened (one after is her Birthday, and we just met). \n\n5 Am I over thinking everything and need to just do it?", "summary": "Met a girl. She is 6 and a half years older than me and might be in a relationship, but seemed to like me and gave me her number. How should I ask her out?"} {"id": "t3_29d37y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [18/m] leave my girlfriend [18/f] for my friends sister [26/f]?", "post": "Okay so I have the details of mine and my friends sister's relationship in this like --> \n\nSo that was it, if you didn't read, basically I have known her since I was in 6th grade and I've always had a crush on her. My friend is cool with me dating her, and I think she's amazing. She has a two year old baby and has had bad luck with guys. But she's an awesome person and mother. \n\nI'm 18, just out of high school and going into the military, my girlfriend is same as me, but going into college. We've been together for almost 2 1/2 years. It started out awesome, she's smart, and beautiful! She still is, but she's driving me insane!! She can't stand a day without me, gets mad when I'm with my friends, and straight up told me she is going to break up with me when I leave for the military! Ever since she said that I've felt different about her and it made me feel like I don't mean very much.\n\nEvery time I talk to her now I just get agitated. I haven't seen her for a week because she was out of town with family, and I went to see her for a little bit because I had to go home and clean (My mom is intense with cleaning) and she got pissed. I haven't talked to her since, but I don't really want to. What do you think I should do?", "summary": "My girlfriend said she's gonna leave me when I go into the military. I've been talking to my friends sister lately who has a baby and I like her a lot. Don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_31tuhs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19M] bestfriend and his [18F] girlfriend are always fighting.", "post": "They're just constantly going at it. Passive aggressive, denting of vehicles, lots of lying, and driving away at unsafe speeds after a fight.\n\nLet me just build up an example of an accumulation of what's happened before, in different contexts. Just so you get the idea of what could happen with them, on a regular day of hanging out.\n\nShe's always getting hungry, and he'll not respond to her for hours about it. And it just makes the entire room shitty. Then she'll mention an ex-boyfriend to piss him off. \nHe'll play the hard ass and then she'll go drive away. For about 30 minutes, sometimes with illegal maneuvers. \nThen she'll come back, happy until they get to talking again.\n\nShe's cracked his project car's windshield, he's dented her Corolla. This has been going on for over 4 years too. That's how long they've dated, or how far back I can remember them fighting like this.\nBut then they post some sincerely mushy shit on facebook or instagram that seems extremely hypocritical to who they actually are.\n\nBoth of them are totally fine on their own, not assholes at all. I don't know why they always gotta be jerks in public. I don't want to stop hanging out with either of them, but I have kept our times together on the down low. Just because of uncomfortable situations like this. What can fix this? Or at least help it out? I'm certain they aren't having much sex anymore, but I know it was bad even when they were having it.", "summary": "How can I help my closest homie and a cool gal from fighting all the time, and especially in public? Is it even possible to have that much influence over people this age?"} {"id": "t3_4u3fjp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (18m) can't tell if I've moved on", "post": "My gf and I broke up a month ago mutually and I think I'm doing pretty ok. I don't think about her at all really and I keep myself busy. Anyways I was on my Instagram and I came across the prom pic I uploaded and I just got these weird feelings. Basically I was feeling like \"damn will I ever find a girl so beautiful and so good to me ever again\" \n\nWe've been doing NC, but she really doesn't want to do that and has been waiting for me to txt her again. If you wondering how ik this, well it's a long story. Also We didn't end badly and I feel like if I we stop talking our bond will like disappear. We broke up because of college btw. Reddit do you think I've moved on or do I still need time.", "summary": "I think I've moved on from gf, but I saw a pic of us together and was kind of flooded with emotions. Does it sound like I've moved on?"} {"id": "t3_43vfht", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Opening Roth IRA related to expected income", "post": "Hi, personal finance! I have read the breakdown provided on the side about IRAs and have researched the difference between the two, and still can't find a straight answer on my dilemma. \n\nSo the current situation is this: I am 28 years old and I made $95,000 last year. My job has a $50,000 base salary then the rest is commission based. I currently have loans to pay (auto and school), I have an emergency fund, and a comfortable amount of cash in my checking account.\n\nSO - I know now is a good time to start saving for retirement. Based on my income, and the implications of being able to withdraw tax free in my retirement, the Roth seems the obvious choice. \n\nHowever, I keep making more and more. And should I hit my goals this year I will be above the income limit for a Roth ($116,000). So my question is - Should I open the Roth now with the knowledge that I may be over the threshold this year or within a couple years? Will I be shooting myself in the foot by then having two separate IRAs. Can they be combined? If not will I have hypothetically a Roth worth for example $10,000 from late 20s and then a traditional as I grew into a higher salary? I have heard of back door contributions - is this the answer?", "summary": "Should I open a traditional instead of Roth since I expect my income to be increasing as the years go on? Is there down side of starting a Roth a year or two before I become financially disqualified for it?"} {"id": "t3_2uw5ub", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My roommate started flirting with me and I [23/F] flirted back but he [22/M] is no longer interested", "post": "I live with a few people I met from college right now. Its 3 guys and 2 girls. One of the guys and the other girl are engaged. The other 3 of us are just friends. But one of the guys just started flirting with me a few weeks ago. And I flirted back. Last Saturday, when we were watching TV together he started holding my hand. He did the same for the next three days. But on Tuesday he started talking about sex, which is a topic I didn't feel comfortable talking about yet with him so I brushed it off. On Wednesday he ignored me all day and acted like he was angry when I talked to him. I asked him about it and he said \"I don't think this is a good idea.\" I asked my friend for advice on this and he said that he thinks the guy was just using me because he's desperate and at a low point in his life right now. I couldn't help but agree with him. I feel like he was trying to use me as a rebound to get himself through the semester but realized it was a bad idea after he started flirting. But we've been friends for the past two years. I see him every day because I live with him and was planning on living with him next year too. I understand this is a bad idea because if we break up I'll lose him as a friend but I feel like I already have. How do I get over him when all I can think about was how nice it felt when he was holding my hand? I don't want to go home every night and have things be awkward.", "summary": "Roommate flirted with me and I fell for it/him. He pulled back saying \"I don't think this is a good idea.\" How do I fix the now awkward relationship and get over him?"} {"id": "t3_2552m5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to deal with emotions after I find out that my ex [25F] left me [24M] for her friend from work.", "post": "So a month ago my ex broke up with me after 5 months of the relationship saying that she was having some trouble coping emotionally with her past (specifically ex bf). I tried convincing her to stay with me so we can try and deal with it together.\n\nI have her time, limited contact, never got angry for it and generally tried to be understanding. After all, we never argued, always had fun, had amazing sex and even said we love each other. \n\nRecently we meet again and I tried getting back together. After a while of giving me very unconvincing arguments she admitted she has feelings from somebody else. I immediately guessed it was her work mate as they both had feelings for each other before, but never went out on a date. \n\nShe claims that it only started a few weeks ago which is hard to believe given that they sit next to each other in the office (and even so that's still quite soon after the break up when she claimed she needed time alone). I no longer believe the reason she gave me for the break up and most likely he was the reason. After all, during the break up she was insisting I should find somebody else as I deserve better and that I shouldn't wait for her to sort her feelings out. \n\nI now feel like shit as I believed her to be honest with me and now I have to question all of that. I really don't know what I can do to make myself get over it. Unfortunately, we're in the same friendship group which means I'll be seeing her a lot. \n\nAt least I asked out a girl I met after the break up so I have date coming up to take my mind off of her, but that's not enough it seems. \n\nIf you have a similar story, please share. I'd like to know how to deal with this.", "summary": "A month after my break up, apparently due to my ex's commitment issues, she tells me she is seeing her work mate. I feel like shit and don't know how to cope."} {"id": "t3_1nguom", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (30/M) of 5 years and I (27/F) are going nowhere", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years now. We have lived together for two and a half of those years. My problem is that our relationship now seems to be stagnant. There is no talk of moving forward. I am not overly concerned about not being proposed to - we are at a time in our lives where a wedding is not at all practical - but I am very concerned that my boyfriend has not decided if I am the one he wants to fully commit to *ever*. If he knew that he did and it was just a matter of waiting, I would be ok with it, but the fact that after 5 years he still doesn't know if I'm the person he wants to settle down with makes me nervous. Is it unrealistic to expect that he will have \"made up his mind\" about me by now?\n\nThe good news is that he is very willing to communicate with me. He really is an excellent partner. He is familiar with my anxieties about this issue, but unfortunately can not offer me much comfort. He is an engineer and tends to think things through very methodically and logically, and he says he hasn't experienced \"the moment\" everyone has told him they felt where they \"just knew\" they wanted to be together forever.\n\nThis really is his final word on it (not final as in he refuses to discuss it, he just doesn't seem to have anything else to say about it). But lately this is an issue that has been bugging me nearly 24/7. To clarify: I believe that we have an excellent relationship, our biggest - and really only - issue is the one I just outlined. I have \"known\" that I want to be with him long-term (either married, or just self-professed committed to each other) for at least 2 years now.\n\nAlso: I hate to admit it, but part of me thinks if he is not willing to settle down then I should get out sooner rather than later. I am already 27 and in terms of family planning if I have to go through another 5 years before finding a mate and having children I wouldn't exactly be a young mother.", "summary": "My partner of 5 years can't decide if he wants to commit to our relationship, and I am wondering what I should do."} {"id": "t3_lla7i", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, whats your long distance relationship story?", "post": "I'm a sophomore at college, 6 hours away from school.\nStarted dating this girl my senior of high school. She commutes to school. We did well with video chatting and all my freshman year. She broke up with me in July, and we stopped talking until mid September. I went back home a few weeks ago and met back up with her. Had a great time. We agreed we can't be together because it just won't work at the moment, but we'll maintain a friendship and keep talking through our college years to see if things can work out after college.", "summary": "Tried it my freshman year at college, 6 hours away. Lasted a bit over a year. Staying friends to see what happens after college."} {"id": "t3_42vhgp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [33 M] with my wife [32 F] of ten years. She is feeling pressured by my advances. It is creating major problems in our marriage.", "post": "My wife and I have been married for ten years and have three children. I love this woman, and for the most part our marriage has been pretty good. Recently, however, I have noticed that she doesn't really have a carnal attraction to me. Most of the time when we have sex I am initiating, the lights are off and it is pretty vanilla.\n\nI have been cursed with a ridiculously high libido. I can masturbate twice in a day and still be ready for sex by bed time. My wife does not match up with this frequency. I would say out of every five times I try and initiate, she will accept one.\n\nThe problem is, I seem to have wrapped my entire self worth into our sex life and my feelings get really hurt when she declines my advances. The day following a rejection I am usually distant and grumpy and generally a real prick to be around. This has created tension in our sex life because now when my wife knows I am going to try and initiate she feels extreme pressure and sometimes annoyance because she knows I am going to act like a whiny baby if I don't get sex.\n\nI really don't want to behave this way, but I have invested so much emotion into this that I have started hating myself to the point that I can't even look at myself in the mirror. Typing this out makes me realize how fucked up it is. I really just need advice on finding self worth outside of sex with my wife. I am ruining my marriage and I don't know what to do.", "summary": "My wife and I are in a perpetual cycle of me pressuring her to have sex and me getting my feelings hurt when she turns me down. I don't know how to reconcile our differences."} {"id": "t3_3vt3i2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [20F] who broke up with me [20M] is still texting me and asking how I am. What does it mean?", "post": "If you are wondering about what happened, here is a link to my previous post about the actual break up \n\nIn simple terms, after my girlfriend of over a year told me that she lost all romantic feelings for me and all feelings towards me altogether, I was distraught. It has now been almost three weeks since we officially broke up and up until a week ago, I was repeatedly trying to contact her. When she finally told me that she just no longer loves me, I realized that I had to stop, so I did.\n\nI did not text her or call her for a few days until this weekend when she texted me telling me that she hopes I am having a wonderful weekend. I didn't answer her because I honestly just didn't know what to reply. She hurt me and texting me telling me that she hopes I am having a good weekend seems condescending in my opinion.\n\nLast night she texted me again, this time around three in the morning which leads me to believe that she was awake because she was thinking about me. She told me that she still cares for me and wants to know how I am doing, but still has no feelings for me. Once again I am unsure of what to reply, so I have not yet answered.\n\nI cannot tell whether she geniunely wants to see how I am doing or if this is something else. If it is the former, then that is rather selfish on her part. I do not want to be her friend, I want to be her boyfriend obviously. I still love her despite it almost being three weeks and I am still getting over it. I can't imagine just ever being friends with her and I do not think that what she is doing is right. I was just beginning to get better until she decided to step back into my life. My question is, what is happening here? Thank you.", "summary": "I went through a harsh breakup and she has now texted me twice saying that she still cares but does not want to get back together. How do I answer her?"} {"id": "t3_4esbvt", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "How having an emergency savings account saved me - College Student Edition", "post": "I've been reading stories on PF probably since junior year of high school. I'm a freshman in college now and am grateful for the advice I've read on here, because this week it absolutely saved my ass! \n\nFor the past year or so, I've had 15% of my paycheck automatically go to my savings account so I can start an emergency savings account without having to manually transfer (1% interest savings from Ally, highly recommend it). I had about $2000 saved up, only had to take out money from it once or twice.\n\nAnyways, a month ago, being the \"invincible\" college kid that I am, I found myself getting in to a little bit of trouble at a St Patrick;s Day parade. This is a huge event at my college and is (as you could guess) a full day of public drinking. I was unlucky enough to be one of the few to actually get caught doing this, and was given an open container ticket. My hearing for it was this Monday and they hit me with an $800 fine. EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS. Only having a few hundred in my checking I move over 800 from my emergency savings and eat the 800 fine. I cringed when handing over the check, but was incredibly happy I had an emergency fund and my parents didn't need to find out.\n\nFast forward 24 hours and next thing I know my car's clutch goes out in a Wendy's drive thru. Get it towed and go to sleep thinking maybe a couple hundred, because I wasn't thinking the whole clutch needed to be swapped. Wake up to a call saying the clutch is shot and a new one will be $920, parts and labor. \n\nWhile this post probably sounds like me complaining about the unluckiest week I've had, I don't know what my situation would be if I didn't have the emergency fund. Yes, my parents would helped with either situation (wouldn't be too happy about the alcohol fine) but its a great feeling when you can be completely independent and not need to feel broke asking parents to cover my ass. Thanks for the wisdom PF! Might bump up my Savings contribution to 18-20% til I get the $1700 back.", "summary": "$800 open container fine and a $920 clutch replacement in the same week isn't good on a college kid's bank account."} {"id": "t3_3ahk3a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My SO [M54] lives with [21F] and it makes me uncomfortable. What do I do? [45F]", "post": "I have been with John for almost a year. Five years ago he lost his defacto wife, who was quite a bit older than he. Sarah, the young woman he lives with, was his wife's granddaughter. \n\nNow, the two of them have been living together since the start of last year. Sarah couldn't afford to live on her own, and I guess John felt some kind of responsibility toward her. \n\nFrom my understanding, John and Sarah weren't that close. Sarah only saw her grandmother at Christmas and Easter, so that was the only time she saw John. I think maybe they bonded a bit more when she died, but it still doesn't make me feel comfortable with their situation. \n\nI guess, I just don't like the idea of my partner living with a young and attractive woman. I guess I'm just insecure, but it's the way I feel. I want him to ask her to leave. She's 21 anyway, I think she will be fine. But he says he couldn't put her out on her own, that she is like a daughter to him and he loves her. (her own father has been out of the picture her whole life)\n\nSo, what do I do? Do I just get over it? Do I have the right to ask him to move out, or get her to leave? I have brought up the idea of her leaving before, but again, he says he couldn't ask her to leave.", "summary": "My SO lives with a 21F who he says he loves like a daughter (his previous partner's granddaughter). It makes me uncomfortable, and I want to ask him to ask her to leave, or move out."} {"id": "t3_1cljcs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I stay or should I go? I'm (24/M) and she's (24/F) we (LDR) might just have our final break-up tonight and I was supposed to visit her tomorrow.", "post": "We've been dating for 7 months now, and everything was going well until recently. Yesterday she was excited to see me, said that she loved me like usual, same with earlier today. But we had a talk tonight about our relationship, she said she still loved me but she can't go on anymore (afraid of hurting each other). \n\nShe told me not to go tomorrow (we visited each other a few times already. I'm afraid that she won't open the door for me, but I don't mind sleeping on the street if I have to. I already paid for the round-trip tickets, and I'll be there for 2-3 days.", "summary": "She said I shouldn't go. Should I stay here, or should I go? (regardless of the result)"} {"id": "t3_2hjtf8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 F] with my girlfriend[40 F] 4 months, issue with her ex.", "post": "Hi Everyone,\n\nSo, here's my issue: My girlfriend is still friends with her ex (they dated for 8 years) and they are in the same social circle. Whenever there is an outing, her ex is typically present. \n\nI have no issues whatsoever with my girlfriends ex, but I believe she does with me. She will not greet me or make eye contact. She basically pretends I don't exist and is normal around everyone else. \n\nWe've never had a conversation because she won't acknowledge my existence. I have tried to bring this up with my girlfriend, but she ends up making excuses or defending her ex, so I can't go that route. \n\nThis is a pretty uncomfortable situation and I'm hopng for some mature tactics to change the situation for the better. \n\nThank you in advance!", "summary": "My gf is still friends with her ex and they are in the same social circle and the ex won't acknowledge my presence."} {"id": "t3_3ij0cp", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By moving in with the leader of a cult.", "post": "So the realization of the fuck up is today, while it actually happened a week and a half ago. \n\nAs I was reading through the roommate lease to make the check out to, I thought the named looked a little different than what the ad said her name was. \"Well, maybe I'm just tired from work and such.\" So I grab the lease to make sure and look at the original ad and sure enough, the names are different. This is where I start realizing the fuck up:\n\nI type the name on the lease into Google and it explodes with all this information (including her personal site) about this type of cult, how she communicates while the \"lizzards\" and \"aliens\" on the other planets. It goes way, way deeper than I can even explain here. What really got me, was she isn't just a local hit..she's international. I was even listening to this podcast where they were talking about how we have robots living among us pretending to be human beings and such. Really fucking weird. \n\nSo now I'm kind of nervous being around the house and what not. I've noticed it seems like she goes through my room as I've noticed curtains open when I know for sure I closed them. I asked about that and it was \"to let the air flow free in the house.\" Okay I said...I'm a guy...I workout...probably a hint I stink. Well, I think it's some supernatual stuff instead as other things have been out of place.\n\nI've really no idea what to do at this point, but hoping since it's just a 3 month lease I can survive and move on. The biggest problem is that on her website, she has her HOME address (also her office) so anyone can mail in payments. Well, what if someone wants to bash in a window? Again, I'm a little freaked out.\n\nI probably didn't include everything in here, so feel free to ask if you've any questions.", "summary": "Signed a lease and Googled the name of my roommate, found out she's a huge cult leader. A little freaked out."} {"id": "t3_3wlih1", "subreddit": "self", "title": "About to start my adult life while I also believe it might be the worst time to.", "post": "I'm 18, Canadian, Female, about to go into the world and begin living very soon, however I'm afraid of the world today, the government we have, and the government other people are supporting. I fear that the rumours are true, my generation will be the generation that witnesses the beginning of WWIII and nearing the end of parts of our world. My generation is said to be the generation that'll bring thousands of new jobs, then destroy it all because of a single problem, the problem that starts all wars, power, we are power and money hungry kids who have very little discipline and take offence at everything. These people I am growing up with are some of the smartest people I know however we all act like we are invincible, like we are God, like nothing can harm us we are the generation to end the war on drugs but start the war between North America and everyone else. The person I believe to start these wars none other than of course Donald Trump, can't denied it I loved the guy sure he was a dick to most people but he got his job done and did what he wanted with his life. But seriously I cannot ignore the insane resemblance of behaviour to Hitler everyone is saying it half joking but it is very serious that he is acting exactly like Hitler before he was actually voted in. He was power hungry, money hungry, blaming problems in his country on another race, wanting them to identify themselves by wearing special id's or arm bands. You may all think this is coincidence but before Hitler became too power hungry, he was known as the leader who could bring Germany out of any problem he made them more money faster than ever before, but once he realized what he could do with the amount of people willing to follow him anywhere he went down and down and did not stop. It's more than coincidence it's a similar personality, a similar person and I hope that he has more control as it seems he is pulling lead.", "summary": "I don't wanna start life in a world that's just gonna burn in war because of Donald Trump winning the US presidential election."} {"id": "t3_15m6ts", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Thanks to you, this is shaping up to be an awful birthday", "post": "So after creating a throwaway to talk about [this] shit a month ago, I decided to give you another chance. I went out to visit you before Christmas and came back deciding that all of our problems could be chalked up to distance and I would move as soon as I could.\n\nI saw your friend (we'll call her Jane) post on your Facebook saying that it was time she met me. I excitedly expanded the post so I could be all \"I know right! I've only been trying to do it for 2 years!\" \n\nThen I saw what your other friend (we'll call her Susie) posted. The one whose boyfriend you \"pretended\" to be to stave off creepers. If you were just pretending, please tell me why she gave a full rundown of when she was available to meet Jane? Better yet, please explain me to why Susie supposedly has a boyfriend, yet said she would be in town the entire effing week between Christmas and New Years?\n\nWhen I asked you to be honest with me, you refused to even talk about it. You said I was attacking and assuming things. When you finally did give me a reason for why Susie said anything, you said it was because you thought she was responding to another question that Jane had asked. Bull. Shit.\n\nTo top off all of this? As of 2 hours ago, it's my fucking birthday. Not a peep from you. I figured you were asleep. But no, when I used four square to check in to my apartment when I got home from work a few minutes ago, it said you were at Taco Bell. Really? This is the 3rd birthday I've spent with you and the other two times you sent me texts at the stroke of midnight. But not tonight. No, you're too busy getting drunk and eating shitty tacos. And I assume you're doing it with Susie since she's in town until Sunday.", "summary": "It walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck. Yet you keep telling me it's a fucking platypus. And my dumb ass keeps believing you."} {"id": "t3_28nb9j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] just broke up with my BF [28M] and it was the most horrible thing I've ever experienced. Need to know I've done the right thing.", "post": "I just broke up with my boyfriend because of the distance. I was living in the same country as him and we dated for 5 months. He was the best person I've ever met. I knew I was leaving for the other side of the world the whole time we started dating, and had told him, but took it so slowly I didn't realise how much I liked him. I ended up just shutting my eyes and enjoying what we had instead of worrying about leaving. \n\nAnd then I left. And it sucks. This is my 4th long distance relationship (I travel A LOT) and when I think about long distance I feel sick to my stomach. I hate it. I hate that I keep ending up in these situations and I could meet prince charming and not want to do long distance with him. I hate missing him every day. I hate not being able to sleep with him and wake up with him. I hate only getting texts because it not only means I'm not with him, but it reminds me of all the other long distance relationships I've had that tore my heart out. \n\nAnd it's not just the distance. It's the \"how will we be together in the future\", the \"will he get a visa or won't he\", the constant traveling to see each other's families in the future if it worked out, the commitment to this whole thing even though we were only dating 5 months. It was 5 months of heaven that taught me how amazing it was to be around the person you loved. But now I'm not around him any more. \n\nSo I ended it. I broke my heart and I broke his. Please god, someone tell me I made the right choice. I know in my gut I did, but I feel sick about it and the look on his face when I hung up FaceTime.", "summary": "Ended (yet another) long distance relationship due to not being able to deal with the distance, despite really loving the guy. Breaking up sucks."} {"id": "t3_15l7uj", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Mentally challenged acquaintance from high school believes I'm her friend... what do I do?", "post": "breaking this down into neat sections.\n\n1. The girl is nice and her family is nice. I am also a girl. She has some kind of mental retardation that means that she functions on an 8-year-old level, I never found out what it was.\n\n2. I was on her mother's soccer team for 4 years, and continued to say hi to her in high school (and to a lot of people), but we never saw each other outside soccer/school. Our mothers are acquaintances, and her mother is decently pushy, and I suspect that some of this contact is her encouragement.\n\n3. She's messaged me on facebook with \"hi markerbear\" about 8 times since I went to college, decreasing in frequency over the years. I've never answered. I'm not facebook friends with her (I'm not facebook friends with a lot of people from high school). I haven't actually seen her face to face in nearly 3 years since I don't live at home.\n\n4. Why I'm posting: she sent me a Christmas card, even the envelop was hand-written, with pictures of her family and pets. I don't think \"it'll fade over time\" is working here, but I can't on good conscious tell this girl off, I already feel mean.", "summary": "mentally retarded (no offense meant- technically that is the term?) girl acquaintance still tries to keep in contact with me, and I don't want more loose ties from high school. How do I not be mean?"} {"id": "t3_1zgb68", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "[NSFW] What was the most emberassing moment of your life?", "post": "When I was about 16, my ex girlfriend and I travelled a bit and took an overnight train somewhere. After having an argument and needing a bit of space, I decide to walk down to the other side of the train for a breather and some time to think.\n\nNext thing I know, my stomach goes blurp blurp blurp and gives me one of those 10 second warnings to rush to the toilet. So I do. Well, this train was old, like ww2 old and the toilet sink turns on with a mechanism where you step on this lever and water runs out. There wasn't much space in there and it was damn dirty and the floor reeked of piss and was wet, so when getting on the shitter I didn't want my pants and boxers remotely touching the floor. I put my pants and boxers on the sink that was dry. After all hell broke lose from my asshole and a sharp pain in my stomach, finally I can get the fuck out of here and get a REAL breather. As I get up I accidentally step on the lever for the sink and all my clothes get wet including my phone that now wont turn on. \n\nI was like fuck, what do I do? Just walk out in soaking wet clothes and walk all the way to the other side of the train to get my dry clothes? So I just stood there for what felt like a few hours thinking of everything from my impending doom to what an idiot I am and to what I could've done differently.\n\nEventually my ex found me and said \"Dude. You've been gone over an hr, is everything OK?\" So I explained to her what happened and she went and got me some clothes. When I got out it was pretty much her snickering and me sitting in silence for the rest of the trip.", "summary": "had to take a dump while on a train, clothes got wet so didn't leave the toilet for an hr till the ex gf came to look for me"} {"id": "t3_3inshm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[17M] am not sure if I am doing enough in my relationship with my girlfriend[17F], Have been going out for 6 months.", "post": "So asked this girl out 6 months ago and it's been alright, but I can't help but feel something is not clicking. I am quite quiet so I'm not always sure whether I should be more physical with her or not. We have had sex so it's not like she's not keen, but just with general stuff like hand holding and pda. \n\nThe reason I'm saying this is because whenever we go to parties, she always goes off and hangs out with her friends and almost never with me. I'm not sure if that's normal or what, because my mate's girlfriend and him are so close and always stay together at parties and gatherings... Do I need to follow my girlfriend and be a little more clingy or just keep waiting for her to come to me because her going off with her friends is normal? This is my first proper relationship so I don't really know what is normal or not. Should also mention that she is really quite also.", "summary": "first girlfriend of 6 months, she leaves me for friends at parties, do I follow and be more clingy or not?"} {"id": "t3_17tqbw", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "We're friends.. right?", "post": "I like you, a lot actually. You're one of the only real \"guyfriends\" I've had. You even take the initiative to hang out with me, talk on skype and play LoL!\n\nI remember we texted a lot a long time ago, you wanted to be a little more than just friends, not a couple, but friends with benefits. You started flirting more with me over text, and I think I got a little reckless when you asked me if I wanted to do something with you.. We never did anything though, and I know I didn't want to, so that was all good.\n\nWe talk a little, not as much as before, I think he's afraid to come off as someone who only thinks about sex.. But he kind of does, he really does. I know teenage boys think a lot about it, but it feels like it's the only reason why he tries to keep in contact.\n\nWe were together today, the most of the time we sat in bed, he kept tickling me, and since he hadn't slept, he was tired and wanted to lay comfortable.. on my chest and stomach. I didn't resist though, I pulled my shirt down a couple of times when he pulled it up to lay his hands on my stomach because they were cold. I tried not to be too.. seductive, if you can say it like that, but I don't know.. I love to cuddle, so we did that for quite a while.. He massaged me too..\nAfter he'd went home, he texted me and said that I didn't seem so shy, and asked me if I wanted to do something more sometime. I answered him, \"Nah, I don't think so\", and didn't get an answer afterwards. He's a really cool guy and I don't want to lose him.\n\nI'm afraid that's the only reason he wants to be friends, even though he've said he thinks that there's too many sluts in our town. He've tried something with another girl before, but I just want to wait, wait for the right person. I know I'm stupid, I shouldn't care about him if all he thinks about is sex and not our friendship. I don't want to be used, I'm just kind of insecure already.", "summary": "I think my friend wants to be more than friends, and I'm afraid he won't keep in touch with me if I say no.. I'm not saying yes before I want to though."} {"id": "t3_38hi1h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my partner [27 M] For 3 years are having troubles over my much needed/ loved occupation", "post": "the whole story is a long and complicated one but essentially my boyfriend and I met when we both worked at a restaurant/ bar. I was a server at that time, hoping to be a bartender and he worked in the kitchen. We hit it off right away and that was history. Unfortunately management has gotten in the way and the work style it encompassed got my boyfriend first for no reason besides our bosses favoring their ego over rational thought. Once he got fired it was painful but we agreed that the best for both of us is I continue there (now a bartender, and kicking ass at that) while he, unemployed without pay looked for a job. Being extremely talented and hard working he found a job and moved swiftly up the ranks but that job consisted with opposite hours than my bar hours. Now we never see each other besides the seldom day off and the days I am working and come home after bar close we tend to fight and or I keep him up accidentally and we fight for that. We shouldn't be dealing with this repetitively but it's getting to the point that no matter what I feel like I'm hurting him. I know I don't like/ respect the people I work for (especially after they could fire my partner who worked his ass off for them and never got appreciation or respect...I don't either to note) but I love my clientele and my job behind the bar and it pays for my share of our apartment and bills.\nHowever I feel like we can never move passed prior his awful treatment/ I can't get out of my slump of being treated like shit by my management and constantly fighting with the man I love.", "summary": "My partner and I have problems dealing with his passed employment at the bar we met at and that I still work for. And now we have opposite schedules and its getting really tense everyday."} {"id": "t3_3pf61c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21F] brother-in-law [16] keeps making rude comments toward me about my pregnancy.", "post": "I think his mother might have told him that I am pregnant. I recently found out I'm pregnant and my fiance and I haven't told many people at all, but we did tell his mother. \n\nToday when he came home from school (he's 16), he asked my fiance if \"this\" is what he wanted from his life (referring to having a child, we already have a two year old daughter). \n\nLater on, my daughter ran into his room and I went after her. When I picked her up he asked my \"why are you so fat?\" And I told him that I only weigh 100 lbs. His response was \"Well, you look fatter than usual.\" Obviously I don't, because I only weigh 100 lbs which is the same weight I've been for a long time, and I'm only a month or so pregnant. I'm definitely not getting any bigger yet. \n\nAbout ten minutes ago I went downstairs with my daughter, where my brother in law was playing music, and my daughter started dancing and being silly. Brother in law laughs at her dancing and says to me \"Hey, don't have another kid because this one's retarded.\" \n\nI told my fiance about him calling me fat, but I haven't said anything so far about what kust happened and I'm not sure if I should. I want to of course, but I don't want my fiance to get too angry and then my brother in law start acting hostile toward me for \"telling on him.\" These comments are making me uncomfortable especially considering this pregnancy has already caused problems between my fiance and his mother, because initially she wanted me to get an abortion and now she's saying she doesn't mind if I have the baby, but that I should get a \"procedure\" after I have it so that I don't have any more.", "summary": "My brother in law is making me uncomfortable about my pregnancy, I don't know for sure that he knows but he keeps making rude comments, I don't know what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_3gbavz", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Think I asked for too much money, not sure what to do now", "post": "I recently applied for the same job that I have now but at a much better place. I came in for a quick interview initially. After going over all the benefits, they asked how much money I am making now, which I declined to answer. Then they asked me how much I want to make. I answered $34/hr. I currently make $28/hr but they had mentioned that there might be some managerial responsibilities involved so I thought that would justify a higher pay. They didn't seem too bothered by that number and asked me back for a working interview the next week.\n\nI went to the working interview and felt great about how it went. The team really liked me and I had good answers for all the questions. However, after being there 3 hours and thinking it was going great, the hiring manager (same one from the first interview) cooled down quite a bit. She was initially really excited when we first met. She then asked me to confirm that $34/hr was what I wanted to make. I said \"I would be happy to negotiate.\" She didn't respond to that and changed the subject. She told me that someone within the company had showed interest in the job and they were going to \"weigh it out\" this next coming week. She was very vague about getting back to me and I had to ask when we would connect next. After a brief pause, she said \"Well maybe next week.\"\n\nAfter the working interview, I realized that the position was not really a managerial position, and in fact had less responsibility than my current job and had better benefits. I would have honestly been happy to work there for the same pay as I am making now but I think I may have taken myself out of consideration by asking for too much money.\n\nIs there anything I can do now? I have thought about writing an email to let them know that I have reconsidered how much I would like to make. I really want this job and don't want to lose it just because I made a mistake early on. By the way this all happened yesterday.", "summary": "Interview fell flat once we discussed pay, found out they were looking at hiring internally, didn't seem interested in following up. Would take less pay, but not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_3wdz3t", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By taking a photo outside of a school at home time.", "post": "Long story short, I recently graduated and am specialising to become a cell site engineer. I was out doing my first field measurement survey with my new boss, you know, stopping at different cell site locations taking their readings and of course taking a photo of the actual cell site.\n\nA few hours into the field survey we were approaching our last cell location, which happened to be on the roof of an office building next to a infant school. My boss, pulls up outside of the school so I am able to get a nice shot of the cell site on the roof, at this point I have a black box on the dashboard which is used to measure the cells and looks like a grade A bomb, a laptop on my lap and a telephone in my hand. \n\nI lean out of the window to get the shot when all of a sudden I realise I look like some shady guy attempting to take photos of the children who are walking out of the school into the loving arms of their parents, I see a proud father awaiting the arrival of his latest offspring who immediately notices me, a guy in his mid twenties with a homeless looking beard who has clearly tilted his phone in such a way it must only symbolise taking a photo of every child walking out of the school gates.\n\nAt this point I know I fucked up, I whisper to my boss that this may look a little bit dodgy and people are staring and discussing what the hell we are doing and thats when he soon realises, the proud father has now turned into a group of worried parents, to which he screams in the car \"TELL THEM WE'RE WORKING FROM THE NETWORK, THE NETWORK, TELL THEM\" the mothers meeting obviously hear him which makes the entire situation even more painful. In sheer panic and disbelieve whats actually happening I happy go along with what my boss is saying and the words \"I'm from the network, don't worry\" mumble out of my mouth at which point my boss speeds of with the speed of a thousand gazelles.", "summary": "I fucked up by taking a genuine photo of a cell tower outside of a school, but it looked like I was taking photos of the kids going home."} {"id": "t3_4p0oy1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23,F] want to call off my wedding to my Fiance [24,M] 3 months prior to the wedding, Advice!?", "post": "So kind of a long story, but I am in desperate need of some advice.\n\nI am supposed to be getting married in just over 3 months, but lately I have not been feeling the same about my fiance as I did when he proposed.\n\nI have been falling out of love with my SO for quite some time, but tried and prayed that it would get better the closer we got to the wedding. I am not attracted to him anymore, the thought of kissing him makes me sick, and I barely even listen to him when he goes off on boring work rants. He's also got some issues he needs to work on.. I don't know how many times i've been called a stupid bitch, to calling me a asshole, etc.\n\nAnyways, last night I broke the news to him that I do not think this wedding should take place. He cried for what felt like forever and tried to convince me that we just need some counselling. Honestly, I don't even want to try that as I just want to move on and do things for myself and not anyone else.\n\nMy biggest worry is his family finding out and hating me forever. They are religious and my SO is very much their little boy - they spoil the shit out of him. My family, on the other hand, has been supportive with my decision and said not to worry about the thousands of dollars deposits we've put down.\n\nI need advice on how to handle this, I feel like I am going to have a mental breakdown just thinking about it. Do I give counselling a shot? or do I cut the relationship off at the knees completely? Any advice is appreciated.", "summary": "My wedding is in 3 months and i'm in the process of calling the whole thing off - about to have mental breakdown please help!"} {"id": "t3_2pvvu0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Acting as the Intermediary between two friends [16M]/[15F] who both like each other but don't know it - what to do?", "post": "So I have two very close friends who both like each other a lot but don't know it. The girl has liked him for over a year on-and-off and beats herself up a lot over it because she has anxiety issues and doesn't know how to pursue it. He has liked her on-and-off as well but it's less so than her.\n\nA few weeks ago they made plans to go and see The Hobbit (fucking terrible), but because of her anxiety she was afraid it would go horribly so she asked me to come. He did as well. She also brought along her best friend and another close friend. He's quite a friendly and outgoing guy so he didn't mind at all. We went to see it last night and they sat next to each other - she was supposed to sit next to me but we all made sure they were together. The three girls went home together and I walked home with my friend.\n\nI teased him a few times about \"what was sitting next to her like\" and he told me again that he likes her (a few weeks ago he said that his mind keeps floating back to her). He has not told anyone else this, as far as I'm aware. Myself and the girl are talking right now and she's telling me how she's been in a meh mood today because she's overthinking the situation and is worried he doesn't like her.\n\nIt was also especially awkward because this girl he had been seeing a few weeks ago was at the screening too and was sat behind us...\n\nI, essentially, hold the key to getting them together at the moment, but in telling either of them about the other's feelings I don't want to break their trust. I'm not entirely sure what to do because I don't want to tell her that he likes her only for him to change his mind in a few days.", "summary": "two close friends like each other but don't know it, I'm the only one who knows this and am not sure whether to say anything"} {"id": "t3_2sojy5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] find my mum to be incredibly irritating at the moment.", "post": "Just want to make it clear here that I love my mum more than anything in the world, especially since she has always supported me through every activity that I do, every pitfall and every gain, however recently I have found her to become excessively irritable.\n\nRecently I announced I am going to be going to Australia for 2 years and from that point (1 month ago) she's gone into over drive mode of pettiness, she constantly nags at the fact that I seem to be communicating less (no communication level has changed) I don't spend as much time with her (yes, true, but this is because I'm so busy getting everything ready for the move so of course I have less time and she knows this), she's also become very antagonistic in the way she approaches situations now, for example out of no where this evening, because I spent an extra second taking a breath during mid sentence I was therefore being (blunt) with her and she then proceeded to pick out specific words in every sentence I talked about there after which caused an argument, literally the point where I wanted to tell her to fuck off because of how pathetic she was being, I eventually had to resort to the silent treatment so she ended p just huffing and puffing and walking off to bed.\n\nHow can I get her to see that actually I love her just as much as I have always done, and me moving to Australia doesn't mean I love her any less, it just means she's given me the confidence to go and make something of myself, and how do I get her to CHILL THE FUCK OUT in the meantime.", "summary": "Mum's become a petty and naggy bitch due to the fact I'm moving to Australia in April, how to I get her to calm the hell down."} {"id": "t3_ysm0q", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My girlfriend [20/f] found my journal (which I didn't keep password protected) and found a list I [19/m] was keeping of the times when she got angry or upset at me. Now she's really upset.", "post": "Title says it all. I had a note on evernote and if she would get upset at me, I would make a brief note of it. I didn't do it every time, and hadn't added anything to it very recently.\n\nShe knew I had stuff about her on evernote, because she has tried to open the app before and I told her it's my journal. But I was getting ready to go out with her for the night and she opened it up and read the entry about her getting upset.\n\nNow, she is super pissed at me.\n\nSome background, I am leaving the country for univeristy in a few days, and she is going to study abroad. We are breaking up once I leave. She was open to a LDR, but given some of the kinks in our relationship (the #1 of them her getting super upset at me over everything) I decided to move on.\n\nNow, I feel like what I did was probably pretty wrong, but I also feel like she invaded my privacy. I need help.", "summary": "GF saw a journal entry I was keeping about her, relating to whenever she got upset at me. Now she's pissed."} {"id": "t3_23hznc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (25/m) my current FWB (29/f) - not sure if I'm doing the right thing.", "post": "Hi guys, a little advice would be much appreciated. I first hooked up with Kat back last November. We then went a couple of weeks without seeing each other but now will probably hook up once a week at least, only really when we've been drinking. We only really ever see each other when we have sex. \n\nThe thing that worries me is that while she is a lovely girl, I enjoy spending time with her, I don't want a relationship, and if I did, I couldn't see it being with her. That's not to say there's anything I don't like about her, she's just not someone who I could see being in a relationship with. \n\nI made this very clear the first night we slept together, and she seemed fine with it. But we seem to text every day, when she's round, she likes to snuggle etc. (After sex that is, never before) I don't mind all that but I'm conscious that in some way that sort of thing may seem coupley and give her the impression that we're something more than FWB.\n\nIdeally I'd like a girls perspective - is she getting in deeper than me? Or am I just reading this wrong? I'm enjoying it how it is and I don't want to talk about this with her if it's unnecessary and could be a little embarrassing (and a little mean if I'm to say \"by the way, I just wanted to make sure you knew that this wasn't going anywhere\"). But at the same time, I don't want to lead her on. I'd much rather end this all now if it means saving her from getting hurt.", "summary": "My FWB gets very snugly after sex and she texts me all the time, is this legitimate FWB-behaviour, or do I need to reiterate that I'm not interested in a relationship?"} {"id": "t3_1317d9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [25f] has absolutely no manners and", "post": "My girlfriend and I have a fairly decent, average, relationship with about one exception. Her manners are so bad that I'm embarrassed every time we eat with friends/family and I'm starting to get frustrated even when it's just her and I to the point where I have a hard time being \"normal\" around her eating. \n\nI'm not a picky person by any means and in general am very tolerant of people who don't do things \"my way\" but after three years of listening to her chew with her mouth open, bite her fork/spoon when she takes a bite, play with her food, and shovel it into her mouth bit by bit I'm about at my wits end. I certainly don't expect royal manners or anything of that variety but I am slowly realizing that general manners are a must in my relationship. \n\nI know the old adage of \"just talk to her\" (we really do talk about almost everything, very open) but I have a particularly hard time, I think, because I feel like it's not my responsibility to coach her in proper social manners. It feels a bit father-like and I get the \"its not my job to teach her manners\" every time I consider talking about it. It's the details that get to me, is it best to try and train her in every nuance that makes up good manners (\"don't bite your fork, don't chew with your mouth open, don't pick at your food with your fingers\") or should I just generally say \"you need to work on your manners\" and hope that she gets it?", "summary": "Girlfriend and I have a fairly healthy relationship but she lacks very basic manners and it's really starting to get to me. I have no idea how to successfully approach her and discuss it because I feel strange taking that role."} {"id": "t3_dqzat", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What do you think of mini-retirements? Career damaging or not?", "post": "I realize the traditional advice is to continue to build up a nest egg, retire, and then leisure through life into the death. But if you have the means to take a few months (maybe even years?), is it that crazy to take some time off while you're young and healthy?\n\nI probably have the funds (outside of retirement) to last several years without any income and much more if I'm doing some small side projects. This is without touching retirement. And this is without cutting down my current lifestyle.\n\nWhat would you guys do in this situation? Perhaps I'm just a spoiled 'millennial' but it seems like there should be much more to life than a 9-5ish job taking most of my energy away each week.\n\nOn the other hand, health insurance may be an issue? And what about getting blackballed out of the workforce (software industry, of course).", "summary": "I'm kind of a spoiled shit and could blow some of my savings to take an extended vacation. Is this a terrible idea I will regret?"} {"id": "t3_1vc1gq", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Getting in contact with my [20F] ex boyfriend [21] after a year", "post": "My boyfriend of two years and I broke up 9 months ago. As we were in the same social circle we remained \"friendly\" for a few months until I moved overseas for a year. He messaged me after 2 months of no contact asking how I was, etc.\n\nWhile our breakup was not \"nasty\", his actions after (picking up girls in front of me, telling friends details of our relationship, etc) hurt me deeply, though at the time I expressed none of it to him\u2026so when he got in contact again I told him just how humiliated I felt at the time, saying I wasn't sure if I could still be his friend after being disrespected and hurt.\n\nHe replied that he too was hurt by things I did in the aftermath of our break up. Justified, I'm not gonna lie, but as I see it not in the same vein as what he did.\n\nHe was angry for my hypocrisy, but said if I ever felt we could be friends again to \"let him know\" because \"even though I'm angry right now I'd like to believe I still do care\". I never responded.\n\nIt's been 9 months since then with no contact and I am soon moving to the same city as him, which I believe he is aware of.\n\nI miss him, I love him as much as I ever did and I want him back.\nHow should I approach this situation? I was considering a short message, just telling him I've been thinking of him, wanted to see how his life is, etc.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me? Should I bring up our argument, or pretend like it didn't happen? He was very angry in his last message. Is there any chance he'd still reconsider us together?", "summary": "No contact with ex for year after argument over who the guilty party was. Want to get in touch and hopefully start a fresh"} {"id": "t3_3h7y0a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (27M) parents (62F 54M) called our wedding (27F) plan a joke, don't want to speak to them or have them there unless they apologize", "post": "Edit: my mom actually said she won't come because of this before I decided I don't want her there unless she apologizes. I left open the door for my dad until I confirmed that he agreed with her. \n\nI'm getting married in a month to my girlfriend of 9+ years. Our good friend who we've known for 10 years, and is also our housemate, is marrying us. My younger sister is our witness. For reference, we both grew up Catholic, neither set of parents attends church/mass regularly, we went to religious school through college (liberal one), and my dad considers himself a Baptist.\n\nWe recently decided to let our families know we are getting married and invite them to the ceremony. We plan on having a small ceremony followed by a celebration, followed by a reception at a later date. Her parents are supportive though surprised, because this isn't how they would do it. My parents, though, are incredulous. They called our a plan a joke because they think it's disrespectful to our families and the way we're raised, it isn't holy or sacred, doesn't abide by Catholic doctrine, and a minister ordained online doesn't have the training a minister, traditional officiant or priest does.\n\nI've decided to let them come only if they apologize for calling it a joke. I understand they don't agree with our plan but calling our wedding a joke crosses a line in my mind and really hurts my feelings. I don't want to cut them out of my life forever but I feel some respect should be shown. They have said things like this almost my whole life, but my sisters and I shrug it off all the time. Am I being unreasonable and should I let this go, or does this warrant my response? How long should I not let myself let it go?", "summary": "parents called wedding plan a joke and mom said she won't come, not speaking to them or allowing them there unless they apologize"} {"id": "t3_2tzu88", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am a [19M] with a huge crush on a [17F] and don't know what to do.", "post": "I've never posted anything before so I'm not 100% on the formatting but Im really feeling lost...and have been for the past~7 months.\n\nI've known of this girl for quite some time (she would have been a freshman when I was a senior) but I never really noticed her until the past summer when I was home for college. We worked together for the summer and got to be pretty good friends. It was all going great but as we got farther into the summer I really started falling for her and I was terrified of missing my chance...so I did something incredibly stupid. I finally worked up the courage to ask her out(I've never done that before so it took quite some time) and she said yes initially. I was too ecstatic to really tell looking back with how much enthusiasm she agreed with, but I'm pretty sure she was at least somewhat into me. The day after she talked to me about my going to college in the next month which I naively pushed aside like it was no big deal saying I'd be there every weekend (my college is like 2.5 hours away so I totally meant it). She seemed ok with that explanation at first but as days went by she started avoiding me more and more. Finally before the day we'd decided we'd go out she told me she didn't think it would work out and that things got really awkward between us. The rest of the summer went by pretty normal and we pretty much went the rest of the summer pretending it didn't happen. After I left for college we talked a bit but Its died off for the most part by now. I can't help but think about her every day that I'm here and I just feel utterly miserable. I should definitely add that despite being less than 2 years apart she is a junior in high school and I am a sophomore in college which makes everything all the more awful. What should I do? Id be more than willing to skip a year of college to be with her this next year but how do I tell her that without sounding crazy? I've tried meeting other girls while here I just can't seem to feel much of an attraction towards anyone but her.", "summary": "I'm a sophomore in college with a huge crush on a sophomore girl 2 years younger than me. We got to be fairly close this summer but I screwed up by asking her out. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2g33jk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22 M] I'm inexperienced - Is it normal/expected to discuss past sexual history? Is it a red flag if you choose to not do so?", "post": "I'm inexperienced in dating, but I do have a bit of a sexual history. I'm kind of nervous about the possibility of being with a new guy, because I don't want to have to discuss my past sexual history with him. I guess I am worried about my desire to not talk about it becoming a wedge. I believe secrets are not good in relationships, yet I feel I would always be keeping secrets in future relationships because of this and the thought of it burdens me. (Note: My intention of keeping it private is in large part out of respect for the other parties involved.) Is this sort of reticence normal, or would you interpret the desire to keep past sexual activities secret a negative thing? Please let me know!", "summary": "Keeping past sexual history a secret from future partners - acceptable/not acceptable? good idea/bad idea? or whatever other comments have you."} {"id": "t3_2qttyk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[mid 30's] wife[mid 30's] left me to watch the kids while sick. Not sure if I'm overreacting.", "post": "My wife and I got into an argument this morning and now she isn't talking to me. She took two weeks of vacation from work due to the holidays but I did not because I started a new job and did not have enough built up. There was no discussion about her taking the time off either because I was under the expectation that she was saving it for our family vacation this summer. \n\nAnyway, I ended up getting the Flu and an Upper Respitory Infection. I stayed home from work today because I wasn't able to sleep last night and I have a temperature of 102 degrees. Originally, she had a hair appointment today and my MiL was going to watch the kids. However, that's changed now. My wife said there was no need for her to come over since I was home sick and I could watch them. This was after I was able to fall asleep at 7am and was woken up at 10:30 by her. I looked incredulously at my wife and told her that I was so far behind from work, do you really think I'm going to shrug the work off and stay home for the hell of it. I told her I was home sick because I was sick. She took it as I'd rather go to work then spend time with my family and now she won't talk to me, called me selfish and is slamming things around like a three year old, such as throwing the tab of paper containing the grocery list on the kitchen table and slamming dishes into the sink from lunch.", "summary": "I'm sick, stayed home from work. Wife things it's ok for me to babysit and calls me selfish because I'm too sick to do so."} {"id": "t3_23wo6t", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "What is the best way to respond to an ex talking crap about you on a social media website to defame you?", "post": "My ex who is extremely popular, tweeted about \"how much of a piece of shit i am\". well I want to respond accordingly, probably not directly to her since i blocked her on everything after we broke up because she's crazy (but that's a long story), how can i post something that wittingly demeans her and makes her seem immature without coming off as talking poopoo and being an asshole. I want everyone to know she is being immature and that my feelings really are hurt.\n\nA little background info: i'm 20 and she is 20, I took her virginity, She had no reason not to trust me. She was always too busy with work and school and we would see each other max 3 times a week. she never would trust me but i did everything for this girl. I stopped smoking weed, got a better job, stopped hanging out with friends who are bad influences, basically did everything but bend over backwards for her and she still had trust issues which was just exhausting for me. when she found out i wasn't a christian she dumped me. well i picked up smoking weed again but not cigarettes. and she thinks i was doing it behind her back as well as other stuff all along and made a tweet to defame me. Give me your best ways to retaliate without coming off mean but to also put her down and make her seem like a shitty person but gracefully.", "summary": "Ex tweeted a defamating tweet about me and I would like to respond accordingly and wittily to retaliate, but by doing it gracefully but still where someone who reads it says BURNN! in a Kelso voice."} {"id": "t3_4imec2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is my [25/F] boyfriend [27/M] of almost two years insecure/clingy or something else?", "post": "My boyfriend and I always talk on the phone before we go to bed, but sometimes either I won't hear my phone or the phone will just send my calls to voice mail. Last night I didn't hear the phone go off, and I found that within 5 minutes my boyfriend had called me twice and texted me twice. He has done this once before many months ago but he stopped when I asked him to. When I asked why he called so much he says it's because he loves me and he worries about me living on my own. But when I ask him to elaborate on what exactly scares him about me being on my own he says he doesn't know. The only answer he gave is \"but I love you,\"\n\nI know he's a very sensitive guy and he's been dealing with some anxiety off and on throughout the relationship but I don't think he's really addressing it. Now that I'm looking back on my relationship, I'm wondering if there were red flags that maybe he's just super clingy or something. Or rather I will tell myself something is a red flag when it's probably not (saying I love you after only 3 months, discussing moving in together/marriage at around a year, that sort of thing). It's possible that I'm just freaking out about nothing.\n\nI've been having my own issues with (unofficially undiagnosed) with ROCD or relationship obsessive compulsive disorder, where I feel the need to obsess over my relationships. Is calling like that in such a short period of time a red flag, or maybe I've reached a stage of ROCD where I start to feel stifled by the relationship. \n\nI know I love my boyfriend very much, and I'm sorry that this post kind of took off in a different direction, but should I be feeling concerned? Is it possible he could end up being controlling or something? Thank you!!", "summary": "Would my boyfriend be considered insecure or clingy because he called multiple times in just a few minutes (anxiety also makes me overanalyze things)?"} {"id": "t3_50w829", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I don't understand why my (f27) boyfriend (m29) of 6 years has been fired from his last 6 jobs. How can I talk to him about this?", "post": "Looking for help because literally all of my friends are mutual friends with my boyfriend. \n\nAs a bit of background, my boyfriend is a great guy, he's kind and funny and considerate and we share all the same morals, future plans and views on the world. Everything is good. But in the 6 years we've been together he has been fired from 6 jobs and I do not understand why. Every time he is fired he tells me they got rid for no reason and he doesn't understand it or they just didn't like him or something to that effect. He has been in his current job for 6 months now and constantly tells me how much his managers hate him for 'no reason'. \n\nThe strange thing is, he seems to have a good work ethic, he is not lazy around the house, never takes sick days and is really popular. He has a lot more friends than me and I don't really know of anyone who dislikes him.\n\nThis has come to a head because I am currently off sick from my job as I'm recovering from an operation. I am worrying about the financial hit we are taking from my temporary loss of income and I have a feeling my boyfriend is going to get fired again. He has stopped talking about work which has always been a clear sign in the past that he is about to get fired.\n\nI feel like I can't rely on him for support and worse of all I can't talk to him about this issue because there is never the right time. If he is in a job he tells me he's in a job so there's no need to worry about the past and if he's been fired he tells me he can't believe I'm trying to blame him for something that wasn't his fault and upsetting him further.\n\nHow can I have this conversation sensitively but still get across that I am really worried about this? Any advice is really appreciated.", "summary": "my boyfriend is seemingly incapable of keeping a job and I'm worried that I cannot rely on him for support. I don't know how to talk to him about it."} {"id": "t3_4egyu2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20F] roommate [20F] doesn't bathe or brush her teeth and it makes our dorm smell really bad.", "post": "Wall of text for context:\n\nAs the title states, my roommate lacks hygiene that you would think that anyone who has made it to 20 and is in college would know. We live in a very small dorm room, about 20ft by 30ft in total, and her lack of bathing makes our whole room smell like BO all the time. \n\nIt wasn't really an issue in the winter as cold tends to cover up smell, but now that it's getting warm out and she still isn't showering and has even started working out and not washing after, the room reeks, and I have NO IDEA how to bring it up to her without it turning into a fight. \n\nShe tends to deny everything, once her mom was helping her bring stuff to the dorm and said her desk was a mess with food wrappers (it was! She is a wrapper and box hoarder but that's an entirely different story) and she said \"no it's not\" when the desk was right in front of her and COVERED in wrappers from snacks and chocolate. You couldn't even see her printer. \n\nI'm no psychologist, but I think her not taking showers and denying messes has a lot to do with anxiety and I am trying to be mindful of that when I bring it up. \n\nThere was another time that my sister visited for a weekend (I asked my roommate for permission to use her bed and put my own sheets on it for one night) and when she got home thought she had lice. I told my roommate right away and advised her to strip her bed and wash everything and since she is generally a slob, I put a little piece of clear tape on her sheets to see if she had done it and she waited a WEEK but said she had done it while I was in class that same day. \n\nI'm afraid that if I bring up that she needs to shower more she will just say that she does already and it will turn into her yelling at me for being mean when I really just want a room that doesn't smell like BO.", "summary": "College roommate doesn't bathe so our tiny dorm smells bad and she has serious denial issues. How do I approach her about taking showers regularly?"} {"id": "t3_238vz5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 M] with girl I dated[23F] broke down today after seing a picture of her on facebook.", "post": "It hurts it hurts bad. Just when I thought I was over her and finally felt like I was getting better, I see on my Facebook feed a picture of her and her brother. \n\nAll the feelings I had just came back rushing in I cried today even at how much I missed her. I know i can totally call her,r txt, or snapchat her but I know i cant as right now she wants her space. I know that NC, mean nothing at all but Damn it's not easy. \n\nShe initiated NC, but broke it a week later, and I crumbled to it. Now its been a week since I heard from her. I know that I dated her for only three months but the feelings I had for I hadn't had in years with someone. I know i must move on and date other people and be happy. However, I don't want to hurt someone like she did me, where I'm thinking about her while I'm dating someone. Give me the strength to move on, I know I'm a great guy. \n\n I break the stigma everyday by being a single dad with primary custody, work two jobs, still find the time to date. I'm the kind of guy who still open doors, pays for the first few dates, and loves to surprise the girl I am with, but for now all I want is her back, to feel her love again. this is so hard help me people.", "summary": "Thought I was finally moving on over girl I dated, turns out I was wrong, see one picture of her, and I broke down in tears today at how much I miss her."} {"id": "t3_108qz2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Need your advice Reddit!!! Help me!", "post": "I (23) and boyfriend (26) have been together for almost two years. We were LD for a while and moved to his city to be with him. We are now living together.\n\nI know my boyfriend has been on the \"CANIHAZCHAT\". Which I am fine with because he told me all he does it look at them on the screen. Which is like live porn. I have no problem with porn and pictures....\n\nHowever, I saw that he has made comments to girls on the cam. Which is NOT okay with me. I don't get why he lied to me about this. It scares me that he has been doing more then just making comments to them. I am not comfortable with this at all. I am going to talk to him about this. \n\nI just need help knowing if I am crazy for even having a problem with it. It is when I wasn't living here. However, the fact that he told me he doesn't make comments and he does.. bothers me. \n\nI love this guy. I don't want to assume he has done more but this is just to much for me. This is not the first time I caught him being flirty and dirty with another girl. He told me before it was a joke between the two if them. I took what he said and just forgot about it. NOW this is popping up and making me think while we were apart he wasn't 100% honest and faithful to me.", "summary": "I need your help. What do you think is going on Reddit. I need an outside party to help me? Is other things going on I don't know about? How do I approach him?"} {"id": "t3_4kiodm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What to do with our LTR if one person moves out of the country? (22F/22M)", "post": "We've been together for three years. My SO (22M) and I (22F) have been living together for the past two years. My lifelong dream has been to move to Japan and now I have the opportunity to do so -- I can go to grad school there. My SO on the other hand is completely disinterested in anything related to Japan, so there's absolutely no chance that he'd come with me. Neither of us have been in long distance relationships before and honestly I think it'd break our relationship, since our relationship has a strong physical component. \n\nI'm torn between my dream and my relationship. What should I do? If you've been in the same situation before, what did you do?", "summary": "It's my dream to go to Japan and now I can. However my SO of 3 years can't come with me. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_4hscq6", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Crazy upcoming month", "post": "I've been training for my first half marathon since January. I'll be running the mainly series at Clinton Iowa first week of June. Really looking forward to it. So far my longest run has been 11 miles at a pace I'd be happy to run the half at. I plan to run a full 13 this weekend. \n\nWhile I look forward to my half marathon, what has me more nervous is pacing my friend toward the end of his upcoming 100k ultra. I'll be running with him from mile 43 to 54. His pace is regularly much faster than mine but this will be his first 100k and has asked me to pace him for that section. His wife will take over for the last 9 miles. \n\nI've run this distance before and I'm not too worried about pace, he will have just ran 43 miles and will likely be running at a comfortable pace for me by that point. My biggest fear right now is the terrain. From what I hear, gravel with super gnarly hills. I find myself now training more for this pacing challenge than for my half marathon. \n\nI'm excited, but nervous. Don't want to end up hindering his first 100k. Should be a super interesting month ahead. Any good tips?", "summary": "2 weeks before my first half marathon, I'll be pacing my friend for 11 miles of his first 100k. Slightly nervous."} {"id": "t3_54i5y4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [45F] mother is texting my [24M] ex-boyfriend acting as me [18F] and trying to get us back together while I am already in a happy relationship [19M].", "post": "My mom is always super controlling but this crosses the line. I opened up her phone and saw messages to my ex, with her acting like she is me. She would ask him to send gifts and stuff, and when they get to our house she acts like he sent them randomly. \n\nI confronted her about this and she just keeps saying this is for the best. She hates my current boyfriend because he smokes cigarettes. She also forces me every night to skype call my ex (He lives a while away) and won't let me hang up the call without telling him I loved him.\n\nSome of the messages she has sent him while acting as me were sexual, talking about how sexy I am and how my figure if perfect. \n\nShe forced me to delete my facebook because I refused to put that I wasn't in a relationship with my current boyfriend on it. I believe she wanted me to keep quiet about being taken so she can continue this.", "summary": "My mother does not like my current boyfriend, so she messages my ex boyfriend acting as me trying to get us back together."} {"id": "t3_31bv5g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19F] feel like my boyfriend [19M] of 2 years can kind of be a loser sometimes?", "post": "Long story short, we had been dating for about a year and a half before we started having problems. We took a break and now we are back together. \n\nI thought he had started to get his life together more because now his grades have improved drastically, he has a job and he just seems more happy and put together; however, he still smokes copious amounts of weed (~5 days a week) and plays FIFA every night. The problem isn't that he smokes or plays video games, the problem is that when he does either (which as I said is quite often), our relationship gets put on the back burner and it'll be hours before he remembers to text me back and when he does he seems disinterested. \n\nI don't want to be with a loser who prioritizes stupid things like drugs and video games above the important things in life, but I also don't want to control him or boss him around. What do you recommend I do?", "summary": "Boyfriend smokes a lot of weed and plays a lot of video games and they have negative impacts on our relationship. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2lzo2b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "BF suggested a threesome this weekend with his ex girlfriend", "post": "Bf (27) asked me GF (24) for a threesome with this ex-girlfriend. We've been together for a about a year and half and he wants to spice things up. I am very skeptical about this, my emotions and thoughts are all over the place. We have been in shaky ground as of late and I don't feel that this would help the situation. \n\nI have always contemplated having a threesome but not in this type of situation. What are the ground rules for this? I know for certain that I would not want any penetration place between by bf and the third party. I need advice in how to handle this situation", "summary": "His known this girl for about 10 years, and he kept pushing the idea all night. I am not even comfortable with her, I can't relax with when were all together."} {"id": "t3_gsw8x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "When do you listen to your parents, and when do you write them off?", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nJust been in a moral dilemma lately. I've been in a rough patch in my relationship with my parents (Baby Boomer-age) and I don't know whether I'm making a huge mistake or whether I should write them off and carry on.\n\nReddit, I get excellent grades at a top university, I treat my friends and everyone I know well, I don't do drugs, and I am >21 so I drink occasionally and always in moderation. I came out to my parents, whom I love very dearly, about a year ago (under duress--they were monitoring the phone numbers I contacted), and since then they have started hating my school (for lack of guidance to keep me on a moral path) and they have stopped trusting me. \n\nI still want them to be proud of me and approve of me, but every time I share my achievements with them, I feel this mistrust and disapproval, as if it doesn't matter what I do now--unless I demonstrate an abandonment of homosexuality by getting married and producing grandchildren, I will never be redeemed in their eyes. This feeling is really pushing me into depression. If I curb my life to their demands, I am not doing what I want to do; but if I ignore their pleading and advice and continue to do what I want, I feel like a disrespectful child who has traveled off to college to flaunt his parents' values and live a life of debauchery on his parents' dime. \n\nReddit, what are your thoughts and experiences on this? Should I write my parents off as Limbaugh-listening dinosaurs stuck in a rut and behind the times, guilt-tripping me to make me conform to the one lifestyle they view as \"right\"? Or do they have wisdom that I am blithely ignoring in an act of folly that will bite me in the ass later, leaving me unhappy and unable to recover from my years of mistakes?", "summary": "My conservative parents are trying to get me to maintain a certain lifestyle, and I feel guilty for disobeying their wishes. Thoughts?"} {"id": "t3_w3l3s", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Boyfriend sees/interacts with full-body apparition/imaginary friend. I'm skeptical.", "post": "I am VERY new here. So mods and RedditVets, please help me out if I'm doing something wrong. And beware of the oncoming disorganized wall-o-text.\n\nI call my boyfriend \"Chief.\" So we've been dating for around 2 years. Every once in a while, when the conversation would arise, he would mention this Knight that talked to him. As a child, and even now recently (he's entering college) he's mentioned their conversations. Chief describes this Knight in detail- being always in a black suit of armor, being very tall, and possibly hailing from Scotland (not surprising since Chief takes pride in his Scottish background.) His Knight even has a name- Valor. With the 'or' being pronounced like that of \"Thor.\" Apparently this was not a name Chief gave it, but what the Knight had told him his name was. \n The way Chief talks about him makes \"Valor\" more like a full-body apparition (which I am highly skeptical of) than an imaginary friend. Chief's father was away at war for most of his childhood, and I've seen his dad take a pretty obvious liking to Chief's older brother than him; but to carry an imaginary friend into adulthood seems a bit far-fetched to me. Chief's never been all that peppy,but nothing that he's ever done has given any lead to him having any emotional/mental instability or schizophrenia/DID/etc. \n I just don't know what to believe. I'm not going to ridicule him if \"Valor\" is imaginary, but I'd really rather him discuss his concerns with me and not it. But there's still a morbid sense in the back of my mind that says \"But what if it is a ghost?\" I don't want to scare it away if he is Chief's friend/tutelary; but even as a Wiccan it concerns me. What should I think Reddit?", "summary": "Adult talks to a ghost/imaginary friend, and my over-reacting self is looking for answers. "} {"id": "t3_22un12", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "How to loseit during senior year?", "post": "This'll be my first time submitting something to /r/loseit - exciting stuff! I just hope I'll do it right.\n\nSo hey everyone, I'm a 19 y/o male who has had a weight problem almost for the entirety of his short life so far. My main problem (I think) comes from the fact that I can't help but keep eating snacks, coupled with a complete refusal to exercise at all. I resolved to solve this matter a few times in the past, and was once going in the right direction, having gone from 100(220 lbs) to 90 kg (198 lbs) after stopping snacking. Suffice to say I managed to mess it up afterwards.\n\nRight now I'm in my senior year in high school, and thanks to my country's university entrance system, I have to seriously study for my A levels. Besides the 9-to-4 school routine I have to go to an extra prep school for 3 hours almost once every other day, and every weekend. Plus, this is generally seen as a very stressful year for students, and almost all of them end up putting weight. I've been hiding under this excuse to explain the ever-more-obvious double chin that I got this year, but I'm really tired of it. How can I start losing weight, if it's at all possible in this period?", "summary": "I'm a high school student who has to prepare for his A levels in the upcoming months. How can I start losing it?"} {"id": "t3_2zipuw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I[26M] enjoy a relationship [with 23F] if I know it will end?", "post": "So I have no real issues with my current relationship. We've been going out for about 2 years and everything is going pretty well. We get along great, don't fight, great sex life, etc. \n \nThe issue is with me. I'm not ready to get married at this point in my life. I've told this to my gf and it is no problem with her because she is not ready either. However, I know that I want to marry *eventually*. I also know that I will need to be single again at some point before I can ever consider marriage. There's just so much more of life I want to experience before settling down. \n \nI feel like I'm just delaying the inevitable by being in this relationship. But the truth is I'm also not ready to break up just yet. What we have together is great - she treats me like a king and I know I make her happy too....but I just know deep down that *eventually* I'll have to end it. \n \nDo I just enjoy our time together now and see what happens? Do I break it off ASAP and never date anyone unless I think it will lead to marriage?", "summary": "I don't want to end my great relationship, but I feel guilty staying in it since I know deep down it will end eventually. Help?"} {"id": "t3_1jht73", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[19F] am missing a dysfunctional relationship with a guy [23M] who is manipulative.", "post": "I'll try to keep it short but basically when I was in high school I was in a relationship with a guy who was very manipulative. He would constantly treat me horribly, make me feel worthless, and then build me up again so I would come back to him. \n\nA lot of this led into sexual coercion, and while I thought I had dealt with a lot of this on my own, lately I've been going to therapy and a lot of our relationship is coming back up. I know that he doesn't respect me, and doesn't love me and never did, but there were still sometimes when he made me happy. \n\nIt's been two years since we've been together, and I rarely talk to him although I did run into him a few weeks ago and he was really sweet, although he did later that night try getting me to come over to sleep with him.\n\nI'm in a really awesome relationship right now (1.5 years) and I try avoiding talking to him because I know even knowing I spoke to him cordially would upset my boyfriend, but some nights I just really want to talk to him.\n\nIs this normal? I've kind of downplayed our past relationship to my therapist because I don't know if it's even a big deal as I'm sure tons of people are in dysfunctional relationships but I don't know why I need him so much.", "summary": "I was in a weird relationship, and I love my current boyfriend but I still miss the attention from the last guy."} {"id": "t3_1bo4lj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [24M] and have trouble maintaining friendships. How do I make new friends with people with common interests?", "post": "I've always been a social person once I become comfortable with the group and am seeking for an adventure. However, the friends I make are not. In fact, I find we have very little in common with my friends. My best friend [24M] for example, who I've known for nearly 20 years, leads a very uneventful and boring life. We meet up every month or so for a lunch and to catch up, but there's very little to catch up on. I knew him his whole life and there's rarely anything new to share or do with each other. It just good to see each other.\n\nI spent the last five years in engineering school and graduated a few months ago. The opportunity to meet new people was always there, but with the stress and workload I was dealing with, I never took the opportunities. Since then, I've become less outgoing, it seems like all the friends [22-24] I've made over my undergrad career were too. We're a close group of friends, but we rarely see each other outside of school. With school over, it seems like so is my social life, and I'm slowly losing touch with my friends with everyone taking a different direction in life. How can I maintain our friendship? It seems like the most I can do is organize a meet up dinner every now and then.\n\nAt the same time, how can I meet new friends outside of school with common interests? It seems like this is even more difficult with everyone coming from different walks of life out there. I'd like to meet people coming from larger groups and develop more smaller and stronger social circles. People, who would occasionally get together and to something, like an outdoor hike, grab a meal together, participate in a bit of nightlife, or maybe just have a group chat over a coffee. In short, socially active people.", "summary": "I have little in common with my current friends and am seeing them less and less. Any advice on maintaining friendships and developing new friendships with people with similar interests would be appreciated."} {"id": "t3_44sm3m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [21M] and I [21F] broke up five days ago after 2.5 years. Still \"in a relationship\" on Facebook. How long should I wait to change it?", "post": "This seems so stupid, but it's stressing me out a lot. I don't want to change it yet because I'm still sad about the relationship ending and I feel like that's the final straw. I've already cleaned his things out of my room, but I just can't bring myself to change the stupid relationship status on Facebook.\n\nWhat's the best way to do it? Is it okay to give myself some time before I change it, or is ripping off the bandaid the better way to go? He hasn't changed his yet either. Do I let him know I'm going to change it? Is that considerate or seen as too much? He's the one that broke up with me, by the way, but we both recognized that it had to end, I just could never bring myself to do it.", "summary": "How long should I give myself before I have to change my relationship status on Facebook AND do I give him a heads up that I'm doing it?"} {"id": "t3_3cu9gn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] want to leave my wife [20 F] of 2 years, Can't bring myself to tell her.", "post": "As the title suggests, I want to leave my wife.\n\nBackstory: I am in the military and get out soon-ish. She is on her way into the military (different branch) and when I get out I want to go back home (Big City in CA) to go to a university and she wants me to go with her wherever she might get stationed. Now I see this as kind of selfish. She can get stationed in just about any shit-hole in the US. I don't want to be dragged along for the ride. Granted she does live with me and I got stationed in America's asshole in NC. In reality she didn't have anything going on for her back home. No car, no licence, and had just been kicked out of her mom's house. \n\nI don't want to sound arrogant but I am pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to her and I feel bad for wanting out. I honestly think we rushed into this marriage (the benefits the military gave me didn't help) \n\nI do love her, but I think we love different. She craves constant affection and attention. I find that annoying as all hell, especially while I am deployed, and when i don't give it to her she gets angry or cries like I just told her that I killed her brother. She makes things that don't matter into such big deals! I like affection as much as the next guy but I also don't like to smother people or be smothered. \n\nHow can I let her go without destroying her? I do care for her and would like not to cause emotional damage to and already emotional wreck?", "summary": "I don't think my wife is right for me and I want out. How can I let her know without hurting her too much?"} {"id": "t3_h8nzk", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Should I press charges or just let it go?", "post": "Monday night I took in a homeless man. A friend had called me and said this person she had met a month ago needed a place to stay and asked if I would let him stay at my place (I've done this before, so she knew she could ask me). I want to be the type of person that is willing to help someone out, so I was happy to agree to it. We picked him up. He's about 40 years old, Scottish, and a really nice guy. We go back to my place, he takes a shower and cleans up, asks to see my guitar, and ends up playing for about a half hour for me, and he's amazing at it. I tell him he's welcome to stay for the week, and we both go to sleep.\n\nThe next day I left for work before he was up. He called me when he woke up and asked what to do about locking the door when he left for a hospital appointment. I told him I would bring home a spare key. When I got there about an hour later, he wasn't there.\n\nInstead, there was a note that said \"Sorry,\" and he had taken my netbook, 2 ipods, their chargers and headphones, as well as about $40 in change.\n\nHe isn't returning my phonecalls (someone gave him a phone to use). My friend has his email and emailed him how upset she was. He replied and said basically he knows he's being self-destructive but he didn't apologize or mention the stuff.\n\nSo I'm torn about what to do and I'm willing to let reddit decide for me. Do I call the police and file a report against him, or just let it go? In the end, the stuff he took isn't the biggest deal in the world, it's more the betrayal that my friend is now feeling because of him.", "summary": "Let a homeless man stay at my place, he took of with my laptop and a couple of ipods. Should I press charges or just let it go?"} {"id": "t3_1k6v57", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How can I deal with depression", "post": "So im laying here in my bed, unable to sleep, and trying to clear my head of all the negativity, but lately its getting harder and harder. Recently was in a relationship, beautiful woman, really loved her. Then she dumped me citing the \"its me not you\", which happened to be after a backpacking trip with her family immediately after I returned from a 3 week work trip. This pretty much started the decline because there was no warning and barely an explanation...\nFast forward to now, ive tried unsuccessfully to meet new people through various online methods, im jumping through hoops to get VA disability for my sleep apnea, and my VA home loan got denied. Im the only one of my friends and family not in a stable relationship and it really kills me to see everyone so happy while im struggling to make it through my days lately. \n\nI guess im really just trying to see what others did when in similar situations because I really dont like sharing my emotions with anyone I know, makes me feel weak as a former Marine.", "summary": "got dumped, lifes not going how I planned, trouble meeting new friends, seeing everyone else's happiness when im hiding my misery is getting unbearable. Please help."} {"id": "t3_2uua21", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by thinking Mike Tyson and Neil DeGrasse Tyson were the same person.", "post": "It started with weed. It ended with me being embarrassed as fuck in front of a whole room of strangers. I was with a friend and we wandered over to a house of someone he knew but I didn't. Bong rips later, we're watching TV and a commercial with NDGT comes on. I haven't really known too much about him but have been hearing all sorts of hysteria and in my stoned state, I somehow found a striking resemblance to Iron Mike, and though I think I knew better deep in my heart, my brain flashed with an insight of what felt like brilliance.\n\"Holy shit, that's what Mike Tyson looks like now!\" is what went through my brain. The idea that the first name was different and a smart-sounding middle name had been added seemed like a good career move or more Don King trickery.\n\"How the fuck did he become an astrophysicist after years of beatings and rape charges?\" is what my mouth ejected.\nThe room went quiet.\n\"Uh...what?\"\n\"Uh, that...that's Mike Ty...nevermind.\" It hit me all at once that I had just made a ridiculous error in a room full of college educated people. And then I spent the next ten minutes being utterly ridiculed as my face lit up like a crack pipe. A well deserved thrashing, but it will be a while before I show my face around those parts.", "summary": "Got too high, thought that Neil DeGrasse Tyson commercial was an older Mike Tyson in a room full of strangers, got made fun of."} {"id": "t3_ygo8h", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, I don't know what I want to be. Can you help me find something to do with my life?", "post": "Hey Reddit,\n\nA lot of things have been on my mind lately. It seems everyone in my family has something that makes them special, but when it comes to me, there really isn't any talent, or any talent I have discovered. To elaborate, one of my brothers is incredibly smart. He went a High school which was pretty much, I guess you could say, pre-college (he lived on campus, college grade classes). My other brother is musically talented. He plays various instruments, and is in the marching band. Then there is me. I don't know what I wanna do.\n\nPretty much I have sat on my butt all summer, playing games/watching Netflix. There has been no productivity at all. I spend all my time upstairs, and my parents complain how I never go down to see them. This has gotten better over the past few days though. I just need to find something to do with my life. I need a hobby. I don't play sports because I absolutely have no interest in them. I just never have had fun playing them.\n\nWhenever my older brother (who is going into college, the smart one) asks me what I want to be when I grow up, I have never been able to answer because I don't know. I told him I was interested in programming, and he got me started on learning Python. I started the very basics, and went on a 3-week vacation trip, which ended with me forgetting it all. I also like music (username). I want to learn piano, and possibly sing and/or songwrite. The thing is, I can't write, or play piano using different rhythms on each hand. No one has ever heard me actually try to sing, and I don't know if I am any good either.\n\nSo Reddit, I know I don't have the worst life or the biggest problems in my life, but what should I do? I either want to do something in the Music or Gaming industry.", "summary": "I don't have any real hobbies and have no idea what I want to do when I grow up besides wanting to do something in the Gaming/Music Industry. "} {"id": "t3_1mm8vz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Would you say something to a vendor who sold you knock offs or \"clones\" but passed them off as authentic?", "post": "A new B&M store recently opened in my city and my husband and I went to take a look. The same day we went my ego c and EVOD set up came in the mail from vaping me. My husband wanted the same set up and they sold them at the B&M store, who passed them off as completely authentic. They were charging more than I paid from vaping me, but instant gratification and all that. We didn't realize this until we got home. His set up works, but it just rubs me the wrong way that they pass them off as real when they are clearly not. Bummer too bc it was a pretty cool \"lounge\" type place. They are also selling the SVD for 139! They have good juice from local juice makers so I will likely go back, but I'm wondering if I should bring up the fake issue.", "summary": "local store selling clones/fakes but passing them off as authentic. Want to go back for juice, but it kind of rubbed me wrong. What would you do?"} {"id": "t3_30mfku", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(30/M) My girlfriend (25/F) says she wants to spend her life with me but isn't ready to get married", "post": "Hi,\n\nI'm not sure why I'm doing this, but I guess I've run out of options and maybe a few new inputs would help.\n\nSo here's the situation. My girlfriend and I come from what you would call \"christian conservative background\". We've been dating for 9 months now and want to get married beforce we move together. \n\nWe've been talking about wedding for a while now. My gf says she loves me a lot, that she only sees her life with me and want to get married with me. But at the same time, she's not ready to get engaged yet... She doesn't know why (or at least that what she's telling me, and I believe her). We've been talking about this a lot and I think I've been very supportive to her, trying to understand and support her. I asked her to try to identify what her fears are... but she can't name a single one. I don't think she is hiding anything from me. We are in a very honest relationship and talk about everything. \n\nFor me it's absolutely clear that I want to marry this woman and that I will wait as long as necessary. She knows that and I make sure to remind her often.\n\nThis situation has been going on for the last 3 months... and nothing is moving in any direction. Of course, this is hard for both of us.\n\nSo... what do you think might hold her? What should I do? Or shouldn't I do? Any advice?", "summary": "My gf says she wants to get married with me... but at the same time she doesn't... What do?"} {"id": "t3_16w674", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [F20]wonder if my relationship with [M22] is dwindling.", "post": "We [f20/m22] have been together for two years and now live in a house together with a roommate. We seem to argue a lot more, and for some reason I feel guarded around him. He's a very honest person, so maybe I'm scared of being verbally assaulted, I don't know. \n\nI love him so very much, but I am scared that I'm not good enough for him. I know he loves me too, but my insecurity is hurting us and I have no idea how to change. \n\nWhat are some things we can do to get back the spark? How can I begin to love myself? I want to start enjoying our time together again without over thinking everything.", "summary": "I'm insecure, and I'm scared we're losing the spark. I love him and want to marry him, but don't know how to get past this."} {"id": "t3_1ahv0t", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "General questions concerning American Bulldog puppy.", "post": "I am the proud owner of an 8 week old puppy (Ares). This is my first dog that I have been personally responsible for. I have him all but house broken. My only problem concerning this is that at night time I can take him to pee in the middle of the night but he never goes number two. Without fail every morning I wake up to a load in the living room. Any ideas to stop this? \n\nSecondly, with this being my first dog I absolutely want to do everything right. I plan on doing a training course when he gets around 3-4 months. Is there anything I can do as of now to make some progress. His young age doesn't really allow for any performance rewards. I can offer treats and get no excitement, tail wag, etc.", "summary": "Puppy won't go #2 at night and still soils the carpet. Looking for training tips for such a young age. Any help would be abundantly appreciated._"} {"id": "t3_3hobdl", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "22 YO Male seeking advice!", "post": "Hey guys, I'm a 22 year old college male. I'm currently working full-time, making a steady income of 39,519 a year, hourly. I got a car loan recently for a new car, granted it wasnt NEEDED but I wanted it. I am not responsible for housing right now. Hopefully this is enough information, I am currently paying 430/mo for car, 100/mo for student. I'm also now paying for school using my employer's tuition reimbursement, so that should rid of anymore student debt.\n\n I'm seeking advice to see what the most financially intelligent thing to do would be.I'm wondering if it would be wise to just do monthly payments on my loans (slightly higher than the minimum) and keep my savings as a rainy day or if I should just use it all on my loans, also looking for investment advice or just general advice really.", "summary": "Slightly increased monthly payments on loans or use my funds to get rid of or chunk one? Any general financial advice for a 22 year old guy to become more financially stable?"} {"id": "t3_1ecl5m", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "In a relationship because he loves me [24/f, 28/m]", "post": "I've been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for 3 years. He's a fantastic guy. He's loving, caring, and would never hurt me. We've been through so much together. I honestly cannot even find things I dislike about his personality. The only thing that irks me is that he's not very motivated financially and IF we do ever decide to get married/have kids, he will need to step in more. Besides that, I cannot really think of anything wrong and we lived together for over a year. Here's the problem. I believe that I am only in this relationship because I don't want to break his heart. I love him but I am not IN LOVE with him. Thinking about him with other girls doesn't bother me. Him breaking up with me doesn't bother me. If he cheated on me, I can honestly say that I wouldn't care. But he loves me more than anyone ever would and I don't want to do that to him. Before I get judgement, I have told him this. Hundreds of times. But he doesn't want me to leave. He said he's okay with it as long as I stay. I haven't cheated. I wouldn't cheat. But I feel like I'm staying because I care for him like I would my parents and can't break his heart. So, should I leave anyway?", "summary": "Can't break up with boyfriend because I don't want to break his heart. I love him but not like I should."} {"id": "t3_50lqub", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Two mobiles?", "post": "We were given a hand-me-down mobile for our baby's crib before he was born, but my wife never liked it, and ended up buying a different one, of a very simple, wooden style. She wanted us to donate the other one but I just couldn't bring myself to do it\u2013it's too cute, with its little animals being held up by a long giraffe neck, and I felt like getting rid of it would be depriving our son of that fun... but I stuck it in the back of the closet and until now only the wooden one has been in use.\n\nWell the wooden mobile has no motor, and yesterday I put up the jungle mobile so that I could crank it up and have the baby be entertained for a couple of minutes while I prepared our stuff for the day (I'm stay-at-home dadding for a few weeks). I realized that even if you twist up the wooden mobile as much as it will go, it spins itself out in a very short time. And of course, he loves those cute little creatures.\n\nMy wife wasn't thrilled, but she gave in and said, \"Fine, just take down the wooden one,\" which brings me to the issue: I don't want to. I think with one mobile, the crib looks like kind of a sad, lonely place, with a mobile added as a concession. With two mobiles, it looks like an actual fun, happy place to be, which is how I think I would prefer him to feel about it. My wife just thinks that with two mobiles, having different color schemes, it's bad for the aesthetics of the room. I'm sure she's right, but we're not trying to get the nursery into any magazines, so I don't think aesthetics should be that much of a concern. But is there some other reason it's not okay to have two mobiles on one baby's crib??", "summary": "I want to keep two mobiles on the baby's crib. My wife thinks it's ugly. Should I stick to my guns, or am I wrong?"} {"id": "t3_101i6j", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "We've found ourselves staying across from refugee building in Istanbul", "post": "We temporarily have a 3rd floor apartment in Istanbul which is across the street from what is something like a refugee 'prison' in Kumkapi. The 'residents' dont seem maltreated, but they are definitely locked in. While smoking a cigarette out of our window, they started a conversation with us. It was a very humbling experience. We weren't able to gather very much, as the security guard(the one with the rifle and the bulletproff vest) pretty clearly told us to stop after a few minutes of yelling back & forth across the street. The majority of them are refugees from Syria(at least 1 person from Pakistan), and include women & children, and they will be transfered to a refugee camp in 3 days. Somebody from some window said \"s.o.s.\" The entire encounter lasted only 3 minutes, but may be one of the most moving experiences in all of my travels. Given all of the current tensions between the US(our country) and the middle east, we feel obliged to continue to communicate with them, although as they are behind both bars and a hatched grate, it'll probably only be one directional. We want to express our solidarity to them, and let them know that americans in general are very friendly people, depites all of our political/social problems, problems that a lot of middle easterners seem to clearly extrapolate to the entire county. Our current plans are to procure some posterboard or something similar with the word [Asabiyyah] ( and put it in our window, and also to see if the guards will let us give their children some soccer balls, as they seem to have a small playground. Are there any arabic speakers here? What can we best do to get this point across?", "summary": "We're randomly temporarily living adjacent to some Syrian refugees trapped in this complex in Istanbul. What little can we do to let them know that all people from the US aren't idiots & most are genuinely kind & sympathetic to their situation?"} {"id": "t3_3vj1zt", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By projectile vomiting all over the Bathroom.", "post": "Unlike most TIFU mine literally happened about 5 hours ago and I'm writing this hungover as shit so bear with. \n\nJust to give you a bit of a background I live in a shared house with 1 girl and 2 guys. Me and this girl are around the same age and we get on pretty well (our house isn't very sociable so she pretty much the only person I see). \n\nWell my story starts when my housemate, we'll call her S, comes in from a work night out. It's like two in the morning and she comes in knocking on my door. She's a bit drunk and just being a usual girl. After chatting a bit we both went downstairs and went through a bottle of red wine...Fuck..where did that go? \n\nWe talked for hours about personal things and even agreed to do something together on Sunday. It's a bit of a deal 'cause as you may have guessed, I like this girl. \n\nComing up to 5AM and we're both fucked. My other housemate came in from work so we hit the bong...That was the mistake. \nAfter running upstairs and attempting to reach the toilet (I ran like fucking Usain Bolt) I then proceeded to be sick. Not just in the toilet but everywhere. \n\nIt was on the wall. It was on the ceiling. I even managed to ruin a 9 pack of toilet rolls in the process. \n\nMy red wine infused vomit, packed full of undigested veg from my previous meal, coated the pristine white bathroom like something out of a Saw film. Bearing in mind S and I share a bathroom she wasn't happy. \nOn your hands and knees at 5AM wasted in the bathroom looking like I'd just taken my tampon for a walk is not a good look.\n\nNow I don't know what to do. I've just woken and not seen her yet and I've probably ruined any chance with her. Who want's to be seen with the guy who looks like he's just gone down on an menstruating bear.", "summary": "Got drunk and high as shit and coated my female housemates toilet with a coat of insides. With fruit overtones of Plum and cherry. "} {"id": "t3_2lx3y4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (26F) I am in love with my boyfriend (25M), but haven't told him yet..", "post": "My SO and I have been dating for 5 months and I have fallen madly in love with him. We have a great relationship and I adore him so much that I want to tell him I love him everytime I see him. He tells me I'm the best girlfriend hes ever had, he'll spend 10 minutes telling me everything he \"loves\" about me- but he has never told me he loves me. One of his roommates actually told me he has never seen my boyfriend so happy and then he has also mentioned (at a different time) that he probably wouldn't tell me he loves me becasue hes had his heartbroken so many times.. \n\n This is my dilema, I have been in love once before with a man I was with for 6 years, I told him I loved him when I was drunk about a month after he said it to me, when we were 19 years old. I am terrifed of telling my current SO that I love him because I fear he wont say it back. I am very confident about our relationship, but I am worried he is afraid to tell me how he feels because of his past relationships. Also, he confided in me how his last gf told him she loved him and his response was \"I think you are pretty great\". Now I am sure he thinks more of me than that, but I don't want that to be anything like the way it happens for us. Also, I could be totally wrong and he could not be in love with me. Do I tell him? Should I wait a bit longer? How and when did you tell your SO you loved them?", "summary": "I'm scared to tell my boyfriend that I love him.. I need words of encouragement to let him know or to wait a bit longer!"} {"id": "t3_1rglbq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Have negative feelings towards a mutual friend of ex and I for stupid reason and feel bad about it", "post": "So, my first love and I broke up around 8 or 9 months ago (together for 1.5 yrs). Him and I decided to remain friends out of mutual respect towards one another and the fact that we are neighbors and have mutual friends. Our break up wasn't mutual because I really didn't want it to happen, but I respect his decision and have accepted it. But I'm pretty sure I still have some feelings for him left.\nNot too long ago we met a girl who was the new roommate of a mutual friend of ours. Girl is super cool and nice and honestly extremely compatible for my ex. Her personality is great for him and I honestly think she may have a little crush on him and I know he finds her attractive. They talk in a way that him and I never were able to really talk when we were together. The only thing that doesn't really work between them is their age difference. She just turned 19 and he just turned 24. A bunch of my friends and I (ex and girl i'm talking about included) have planned a thanksgiving potluck together tomorrow night and when I heard that she was gonna be there I felt super negative about it. For no good reason. I never used to feel this way about her but now all of a sudden I do even though she's really cool. I feel bad about having negative feelings for her, out of jealousy I guess. It makes me feel really bad. I hate that I have residual feelings for someone that I will never have again and someone that broke my heart but I just can't seem to get rid of them and now that this girl is in the picture I am having bad feelings towards her for no good reason.", "summary": "Have negative feelings towards a really cool girl in me and my ex's group of friends just because her and my ex are very compatible. It makes me feel really bad. Don't know how to deal with it"} {"id": "t3_jkg4b", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Trying to Prank a co-worker and I need a web based or Andriod based chess simulator.", "post": "Ok, I suck at Chess, notoriously so. I am terrible and my coworker has a chess-board in his office. And everytime I am at this location (I travel for work) we play a chess game, everytime I walk by his office I make my move and he responds. Well I have never won a game (I suck really bad) and he is brilliant. I would love to just blow him away once to freak him out. I will of course tell him he was playing a computer after the fact but I just want to see him squirm a bit. Anywho so I know there has to be some kind of chess simulator where you can put in the location of the pieces and it will reccomend a move. Thanks in advance for any help you can offer!", "summary": "Please help me find a program that will allow me to input the location of each chess peice on a board and have it recommend me moves."} {"id": "t3_2eztvu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] had sex with one of my ex friends boyfriend's [28 M/F] known each other 4 months.", "post": "A few months ago my \"ex\" friend and her boyfriend broke up for a few days, he invited me over and we ended up having sex. She just woke me up out of my sleep to ask if we had done anything but I was freaking out and didn't know what to do so I told her no. I'm really regretting it now and I'm scared she's going to go tell my boyfriend some shit that isn't true. Him and I started dating after the incident. SHould I fess up and tell her or not worry about it because they were broken up? I'm really confused on what to do here.", "summary": "I had sex with my ex friend when she and her boyfriend were broken up, she jsut called and asked if it happened, and I said \"no\", now I'm wondering if I should fess up."} {"id": "t3_3tvqw3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [M 20] talk to girls in my class platonically?", "post": "I'm a male in my third year of college. Because of personal issues, I haven't really had a chance to make any friends. I want to start talking to more people to get social skills.\n\nI thought a good idea would be to talk to girls in my class. I'm not really in a position to date anyone right now, so I just want to be friends.\n\nMy classes are usually pretty big with a lot of empty seats, so I'm afraid that if I just go sit beside a girl and try talking to her, even though their are a ton of other empty seats, she'll think I'm hitting on her and I'll scare her off.\n\nSo my question is, how do I talk to girls in class without them thinking I'm hitting on them and getting scared off? Also, because of being a loner my entire life, I'm extremely awkward and have no social skills whatsoever, so the conversations are going to be very awkward for both of us at first.", "summary": "No social skills, want to talk to girls in my class, don't want them to think I'm hitting on them."} {"id": "t3_1yprvh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21 F] made up fake boyfriend and brought him along to meet me [18 M]....", "post": "So I asked this girl to study with me and she agreed. But when we got together, there was another guy there. I asked who he was and she said it was her boyfriend. I'm pretty sure they are not dating for reasons that I will not get into. But here is the question: did she make up a fake boyfriend so I wouldn't make a move? or does she want me to get out of her life and stop annoying her?\n\nIt is confusing because she is pretty friendly when we talked in class and stuff but I'm not sure if this is just to avoid being straight up rude. We're lab partners and we sit next to each other during class so it would be pretty awkward if she straight up shot me down. I don't mind just being friends with her but I would like to know what this means. Does a fake boyfriend simply mean shes not interested in me romantically? Or does she actually want me to piss off?", "summary": "If a girl makes up a fake boyfriend, does it mean she's just not interested or she wants me to get out of her life completely?"} {"id": "t3_2g9yyb", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Made an ass out of myself while on acid, now my best friend isn't talking to me anymore", "post": "About a month ago my good friend and I decided to trip before classes started back up. This was my 3rd time with psychedelics so I knew what to expect, however we took a larger dose than what I've done before. We went out and biked a bit but had his girlfriend pick us up after we started to feel dehydrated. We went back to his place and that's where things got weird\n\nBasically I went into a dream-like state where I didn't know what was real and what was fake. I started humping his sink and tried to start a threesome with him and his girlfriend, among other things (this was all told to me once I sobered up). His gf eventually took my phone and texted my brother, acting like it was me texting, telling him to come pick me up.\n\nEventually after I exited the alternate universe I had to ask my roommate how I got back to the apartment and what the fuck happened.\n\nSent my friend a message asking him \"what's up dawg?\" later that night and he didn't respond. A mutual friend stopped by to check up on me, as he had been texting with the friend I tripped with. Told him my story and found out then my best friend was really pissed at me.\n\nOver the course of the next day I told my best friend how I couldn't control myself and didn't know what the fuck was going on, but he didn't buy it. Maybe because he was thinking a little clearer than I was at the time so therefore I could think just the same as him?\n\nSo here I am a month later with him ignoring anything I send him. We normally would hang out every weekend if not more, so I've sent him messages asking if he was busy and wanted to talk/hang the past few weekends. At first he would say he's busy with work or homework, but now he isn't even responding.\n\nNot sure if I should just give up on the friendship or try another route of saving what (I thought) was a really strong bond", "summary": "Got way too high. Humped a sink, tried to get a threesome with my friend and his gf. Gf was only one sober. Trip got cut off short, now he's avoiding me."} {"id": "t3_b2jds", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Have you ever fixed someone's life?", "post": "I'm not talking about saving your best friend from laser-guided psychic cephalopods. I mean, have you ever done something huge for someone, expecting nothing in return that saved their life in the long run?\n\nFor example, I dated a girl for a little over 3 years and we had a really nasty break-up due to me cheating and both of us being addicted to heroin behind eachother's backs. I continued to do heroin and became completely addicted and hit rock bottom, so I moved to a new town where I didn't know where to get junk so I could quit. I came back to that town and she had been kicked out of her parents' house (we were 18-19 at the time) and was squatting at a piece of shit heroin addict's dilapidated trailer in exchange for sexual favors and heroin money. This sickened me to no extent, so I got a hold of her one day. I got her to throw everything emotional away behind us, pack her shit up, and leave. She came to live at my house with myself and my parents for a summer. She got clean, got a good job, her own car, and gained the respect of her parents back. She's now living in a nice apartment in a different state with her boyfriend, whom is rather successful. She got into school and got her shit back together. We're still friends to this day and it kills me to think what would have become of her if she hadn't swallowed her pride and allowed me to help her out of the shit hole that was her life.", "summary": "I forced my ex to live with me and my parents so she could get clean and move in with her new boyfriend and go to school and get her life on track. Does anyone have any similar stories?"} {"id": "t3_31brvp", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By trying to impress two girls at the gym", "post": "My FU begins about 2 weeks ago whilst I was at the gym, I spot these two 11 out of 10 girls who looked about my age (I'm 17). Fast forward about 30 mins, I'm mid-set on the bench press, they both come over to me, greet me. One of them comes out and says \"Um, We both think you're cute, can we get your number?\" or something along the lines of that. This turns me into an excited, but massively delusional alpha male, \"Yeah, sure, but let me finish my set first\".\n\nThey watched as I decide to crank up the weight from 70kg to 100kg to seal the deal, the girls clearly realizing that I was trying to impress. I lay down, lift it off the rack and begin my press. It took less than one second for me to go from being Mr Big-stuff to being Mr Fuck-up. My arms collapsed resulting in the weight nearly crushing me, fortunately the two girls who undoubtedly just went from 100 to 0 on the interested-in-me scale were there to help out. They lifted the weights with my help and put them back onto the rack, feeling winded I tried to get back up, but felt a searing pain in my left pec. It turned out that I'd slightly torn my pectoral muscle on the left side.\n\nAfter apologizing to the two girls who were probably scared to death after my idiotic attempt at \"gym courtship\", they said it was okay and made sure that I got medical attention (There's a physiotherapist/medic type guy at my gym), but I never got their numbers, the reason why is pretty obvious. Fortunately for me, the damage was very minor and would heal within 4-5 months.\n\n**Note:** Please don't ask me about the specific medical stuff behind it, I'm not an expert", "summary": "Tried to impress some girls at the gym who were interested, completely failed by lifting too much weight and injuring myself."} {"id": "t3_3u3hpx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (23m) recently met a girl (21f) who requested that I take her on actual dates but every time I ask she says she's busy.", "post": "So me and a this girl have started talking. I fell for her pretty quickly. I asked her about her feelings and she told me 1. She really likes me too and there's an obvious attraction between us. 2. That she is not looking for anything serious right now. 3. That she thinks I should take her on dates. So I guess she wants to go out on dates but doesn't want to be exclusive? Anyways, I asked her out 3 separate times and all three times she's been busy doing something else. She never gives an alternative time and she never invites me to anything. So should I stop trying? Why would she have requested that I take her on dates if she's not interested. I really really want to ask her one more time before we leave for thanksgiving break but I get the feeling I'm just going to get shot down again.", "summary": "I really want to go out on a date with a girl who says she wants to go on a date with me but she keeps saying she's busy."} {"id": "t3_1iodvj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20m] gf [18f] wants to meet up with a \"kinda\" friend", "post": "My girlfriend of 4 months is from Russia and she has a lot of friends there. One day I was using her phone and a message popped up in Russian on Instagram and I said , oh you got a message. She told me it was a guy she kinda knew that was going to visit our city and wanted to meet up with her. Also I'm pretty sure I'll be out of town when he comes.\n\nShe said they're \"kinda friends\" so they're not even close. He was a friend of her ex boyfriend I think. Usually I'm cool with what she wants to do but it just strikes me odd that she wants to meet up with this guy and she's not even good friends with him, the way she said it he was like an acquaintance. He's just a single guy on work travel visa and they might meet up. When she told me she, said it in an unsure way and that they might not even meet up because she said her friends usually flake but I knew she was just saying that because she could see it striked me as odd. It happened with her female friend that visited with family, but I know they will hang out for sure. He's a single guy and probably hasn't been with Russian girls for a while and he's going to make it happen. \n\nBut I saw online that she commented on his profile asking if he was in town yet. Should I be concerned? Is it none of my business? Is meeting up with a \"kinda\" friend a big deal?", "summary": "girlfriend is meeting up with single friend from back home and she said that he isn't even a close friend, they just kinda knew each other. I might be out of town when they meet, feeling a little nervous"} {"id": "t3_2rqq14", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I have [26 year old male] no female friends. What should I do about this?", "post": "I am a 26 yeard old straight male. I have always struggled to make female friends. It got slightly better during high school and I somehow made several female \"friends\" after high school. However in the last couple years everything has unraveled in that regard and I am back to square one with no female friends at all.\nI'm not sure exactly how this happened but it has left me feeling extremely enraged and devastated. \n\nI'm not sure why I feel the intense need to have female frienship and company but it is killing me inside to not have any anymore. Every time in my life I have attempted to establish and maintain a female friendship my efforts have ended in disaster. Clearly this is due to my failings as a human being. I'm at the point of completely giving up. How should I cope with this?", "summary": "I have no female friends and every short term success has ended in devastating failure. How should I cope with the lack of female friend in my life?"} {"id": "t3_2vpsje", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "This guy [17-18/m] likes this girl [16/f] whom I [16/m] also like.", "post": "This guy (Bob)* like this girl (Sandy)* whom I also like and I don't know what to do. I've known this girl for 5 years (more posts about this relationship [here] and [here] and I like her a lot now.\n\nBob already asked Sandy out (actually I think he got someone else to ask her out) and she said no, but he is making a wood carving of a heart and a Jimmy Johns gift card.\n\nNow lets get to their relationship. So she is over affectionate to some guys and steers some of them the wrong way, (me included (hint this part comes up later)) so she will hug Bob a good amount and lean on him and such so of corse I hope she is just being friendly because I've know her for a long time and have seen her do it to other guys (that bitch right?). Anyways so of corse everyone thinks she likes him, and me being the paranoid person I am I hope my thoughts are correct on her not actually liking him. Also Bob drives Sandy home many nights after theatre (which I am also in).\n\nI think she might like me because she acts differently around me know then she used to, but I don't know if she just wants to be better friends. She has said we should do stuff out side of school before but she has never followed though with it. \n\nI was going to ask her out soon but with this curve ball I don't know what to do. \n\n*Names changed to protect the innocence (but mostly me)", "summary": "This guy likes this girl whom I like. I don't think she likes him and I want to ask her out but don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_w8tq7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My parents met when my mom drew my dad's name out of a hat, what's your best \"how they met\" story?", "post": "My mom is Jewish and upon entering college, she had the opportunity to participate in her first secret Santa. My dad thought he was super cool and didn't want to take part in such foolishness, but his friends put his name in as a joke. My mom drew a name, she thinks it was \"Melvin\" out of the hat and decided to put it back in to draw a cooler name. She picked out my dad's name and started leaving him gifts on his doorstep. They finally met and went out on a date where my dad spilled an entire bottle of cheap wine on my mom's dress. They still get that cheap wine every year on their anniversary.", "summary": "my mom drew my dad's name out of a hat for secret Santa. My dad was only in the hat because his friends put it in as a joke."} {"id": "t3_1pxfur", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is my housemate (19f) really into me (20m)?", "post": "So about a week ago I made out with a housemate of mine (student housing) who I had been on acquaintance terms with. After, neither of us mentioned what had happened and just became more and more friendly with each other (talking for hours, spending lots of time together). This past weekend after one of these talking and spending hours together time we made out again and just cuddled for a bit. Normally I would be sure she was into me but she's been pretty hard to read, even during times when we've been particular intimate. In my previous relationships it's always been pretty clear that they were into me so this is throwing me for a curve. I initiated the make out both times and I have this feeling that she's just sort of been going along with my advances. She's been receptive to physicality and hanging out but not really initiating any of it on her own. \n\nI'm not looking for a relationship right now but I'd really enjoy a friendly, casual physical relationship with her. What do I do?", "summary": "Housemate and I made out twice, got friendly recently. Don't know if she's into me or just sort of going along with it."} {"id": "t3_2w1vib", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not buying my girlfriend a valentine's day gift.", "post": "Obviously not today but you get the idea. It's the first valentine's day I have spent with any body and I messed it up and now I'm afraid I'm going to lose my best friend and the person I love. I don't really know why it happened. I just wasn't really thinking I guess. I have known my girlfriend for just about 3 years now and been dating for almost a year. We have been best friends for pretty much the whole time we've known each other and I have loved her for a long time. She has done so much for me and I haven't done that much in return. It really hit how much it meant for her (her first valentine's day with someone as well) once it was all out there about how excited she really was for it and how let down she was. She had been hinting the moment the valentine stuff hit the shelves but I've been an idiot. I feel like an ass. This event brought to light, for me, just how bad at relationships I am. She told me that ours feels one sided. That made me realize some things. I realized I haven't shown her how much I really love and care about her. I've been avoiding doing what has to happen. Namely growing the hell up and stop making excuses for myself. I need to get a job so her and I can afford to get our own place so we can actually start our future together. I need to show her how much I care about her. I need to stop being afraid of doing the things I need to do to grow up. I am lucky, however, that she has given me a second chance. I have 1 chance to make it up and I'll be dammed if I don't do it. She is on here alot so maybe she'll see this. I know I've told you before, but I love you Sweet P, I mean it when I say I can't imagine a future with out you. I'm sorry.", "summary": "didn't buy valentine's present for girl I love 'cause I'm a moron. Might lose her but have a second chance to make it up to her. I don't want to lose her."} {"id": "t3_2rwdbt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [31F] may have lost my best friend [30 F] by calling her out on her abusive relationship", "post": "My best friend is polyamorous, it's part of who she is, and I've got no problem with that whatsoever. I'm monogamous and I probably couldn't do polyamory but I don't have a problem with it and I think it's a perfectly valid relationship structure.\n\nBut she's in a relationship with a guy who is otherwise really perfect for her, except he lets his other girlfriend walk all over my friend. Other girlfriend is demanding, manipulative, and generally seems like she is trying to minimize my friend's place in their relationship as much as possible.\n\nThey are all in their early 30's, live together, and they've been together for three years.\n\nMy best friend had been crying to me every now and again, about boyfriend's other girlfriend's awful behavior, then \"taking it back\" and saying it was all her own fault, or a misunderstanding, or she just needs to be patient about the other girl's needs and insecurities. And then she basically vows to be a better doormat.\n\nI finally snapped and let loose a long tirade about how poorly she is being treated, and I was not pulling punches. I was cussing and ranting, yelling about the other girlfriend's awful behavior, about the boyfriend's cowardice in letting it happen to someone he supposedly loves, and about my friend's lack of self-respect to not stand up for herself. I handled it very badly.\n\nFriend got rightfully upset, yelled right back at me, hung up on me, and refuses to talk to me. I'm afraid that I was her only main support outside of her relationship, and if she's burning that bridge, she's going to be even more enmeshed in a toxic and harmful relationship.", "summary": "I lost my cool in trying to stand up for my best friend, and get her to stand up for herself, and now she refuses to talk to me."} {"id": "t3_48d8s8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Trying To Explain How I Feel About My Grandfather's death (on dad's side) To Christian Group At School", "post": "Some background information is required:\n\nI am a guy. Just last week, my grandfather on my dad's side passed away. This has not hit me very hard since I only saw him three times in my lifetime: 1) When I was like 2 - 3 years old. 2) When I was around 10 or 11 years old. 3) When I was 24 years old. (He lives in Hong Kong & my family lives here in the United States) \n\nToday, I told a few friends from my Christian group at school about my grandfather's death. After explaining to one woman that I was not close to my grandfather, she proceeds to become irate and think that I have used the Christian group to get them to feel sorry for me. (They tell me that they do not think that they are being used) I feel that when my grandfather died, I realized how soon, my parents will soon pass (my dad's mom is still alive, but has stage four Alzheimer's so I am guessing she has no idea my grandfather has passed) Both of my mom's parents are still alive but their days are numbered. \n\nHow do I deal with this woman & get her to understand my point of view?", "summary": "Grandfather on dad's side passed away, woman in Christian group is telling me people there think they are being used, that fact isn't true, how to deal with her?"} {"id": "t3_1e3bo5", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I think I'm slowly dying and the only thing I care about is my family worrying.", "post": "Basically, I have not eaten healthy for probably 15 out of the 20 years of my life. As soon as I could say no to veggies I did. I am the only male child my parents had and am studying engineering in university. I feel as though because of these reasons, my parents \"value\" me more than my siblings. \n\nThroughout the years I've always had pains in my stomach and gastrointestinal problems. I have been to my family doctor and walk in clinics on numerous occasions to no avail. My family doctor is a piece of shit who will never send anyone to specialists until it is too late and the walk in doctors are in a rush so they don't really get a chance to properly diagnose you.\n\nIn particular, I have stomach pains that come and go throughout the year. This isn't some indigestion problems but actually flare ups of my undiagnosed condition. Case and point, the last week I've been pissing out my asshole every 15 mins with intense abdominal pain and cramps. It is getting better now but when will it return? \n\nAnyway to the family part of the story. My parents have always been the overprotective and caring parents that try hard to make their kids lives amazing. My Mom will take it the hardest if I ever find out if I am seriously ill. \n\nI am in the process of finding a new family doctor but it is hard to find one that accepts new patients. If I eventually find one and find out through a colonscopy or CT Scan that I have a serious illness such as colon cancer, it would be the death of me and my family. I am fairly confident that if I were to pass away, my mom would follow soon after. \n\nI DO NOT want my parents and family suffering because of me. I do not want them to cry and be worried about me. I want them to remember the good memories and nothing else. I want them to live healthy happy lives. I also would be ashamed that my parents wasted their money on tuition and living away from home expenses as well as the funeral costs. I HATE being a burden to my family and it actually makes me tear up thinking about it.\n\nWhat can I do besides delaying inevitable death?", "summary": "I think I have a serious illness and I don't want my parents to suffer. All I can think about is family. I do not give a shit about dying."} {"id": "t3_1esowh", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/m] I really this girl [20/f], but should I tell her now?", "post": "Back story:\n\nSo I've been going to school with this girl for the past two years now and we're graduating from college on Thursday. She broke up with her boyfriend back in December and ever since then we've been really close. We would hang out a lot and I even tried using some tricks to see if she's into me, like picking lint off of her shirt and she would do the same for me sometimes. Those kinds of things. We'd cuddle in her room and stuff, but we got into a big argument about a month ago and we've slowly been building our relationship back up. And even when I fuck up with her, she still lets me back in her life (I haven't fucked up since then.) I'm pretty sure she knows I like her, but should I just tell her in person that I do? Or is it too late? Just to get it off my chest. If she doesn't feel the same way, I still want to preserve our friendship. Anyway, should I?", "summary": "I really like this girl, should I tell her? I want to preserve our friendship, but I want her to know."} {"id": "t3_2ig65n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my best friend [25 M] of 6 years; Moved to city to live with best friend; best friend ditches me. How to respond?", "post": "So I recently moved to a new city with my best friend. I've been crashing on his couch for a while (2 months?) now. We're both currently looking for work (he doesn't have to pay rent since his grandparents bought him the place). Anyways, I moved to the city beforehand with the explicit intent to live with him and told him that I wouldn't move to the city unless we were going to live together and we we were able to find a space to live together (this was way before I moved). Lo' and behold a few months later and I find him not wanting to live together. \n\nHe's nice enough to let me stay with him and says I can stay as long as I want, but he no longer wants to live together. It's kind of frustrating for me because I'm not as wealthy as he is, and I don't have a place to go (additionally, I don't have a relationship with my family so I can't go back to them or anything). Basically I've got not fall backs. I'm kind of upset with my friend in this regard. Part of it is obviously my fault. I guess I shouldn't have been so trusting and formed a fallback, but I am a little upset that he's changed his mind. Am I in the right in that regard?", "summary": "How do I react to my best friend about him suddenly changing his mind to live with me? Should I talk to him about it or just leave it up in the air?"} {"id": "t3_2aoen9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my girl [24 F] have been hanging out for about a month and a half and I just saw who she is black out drunk.", "post": "So I've known this girl since I was about 20 and she 18. We got together and hooked up. Wanted more but she moved out of state and it ended there. She's resurfaced in my life and we began hanging out again. We have a total blast together no matter what were doing. Well this weekend was her birthday and as such we went bar hopping after a baseball game. Turns out she likes to sit on the lap of every dude shes knows when piss drunk. Snuggles with her ex who rubs her legs while they talk and his gf is right there as well. Walk up to randoms and start flirting with them and basically throw me to the wind. I don't know how to bring this up without blowing the hell up and I didn't want to ruin the day her mom planned for her Sunday so I waited until the weekends over. I've been going over it in my head and if this is how she is when I am around. Then wtf is she doing when I'm not? To be fair were not official were just sleeping together and haven't had the talk yet but I can honestly say part of me is already invested so it's gonna hurt either way.", "summary": "The girl I'm seeing currently is a bit of a lush and when hammered flirts, touches, and snuggles with every dude she meets."} {"id": "t3_1228s9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why do people get so caught up with finding a SO?", "post": "Today I've seen a bunch of these *'after having been single for X months/years'* posts. Reddit threads also seem to be pretty full of people lamenting their single status. (Without trying to be rude, they come off as a little pathetic even though they're mostly jokes)\n\nI've been in a relationship for 18months but before that i was single for 3 years. It bugged me for a time but then I realised that I'm more important to myself than anyone else ever will be and I wasn't interested in sharing my life with someone else. \n\nThen I ended up with a girlfriend and I've been struggling with it ever since. Its not that I don't enjoy the experience so much as it is that I miss being able to devote all of my time to myself rather than a majority of my free time to someone else. \n\nIt strikes me that people who hate being single so much are less at peace with themselves in some way and are looking for an easy way to increase their self esteem. \n\nDon't take this as a 'oh, i'm so enlightened, look at me' thing, its probably just that I'm incredibly selfish and a bad person but to me, being in a relationship has as many negatives as it does positives.", "summary": "why so anxious to get paired up? Relationships aren't some amazing thing that'll fix everything in your life (although they will devour much of your time)."} {"id": "t3_3ebptf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [20F] wants to start a relationship 1 month before she moves to Florida for 6 months and I [19M] go to college in Illinois", "post": "My friend told me she's never had a real relationship, and I know she wants one.\n\nIf we weren't 1 month away from being in a long-distance relationship I would do it in a heartbeat, but I've been in one before, and I just felt kind of trapped all the time\n\nI know it seems very obvious, to just try and end the relationship, but I really do care about her, and it's been made a bit worse by the fact that we're rather intimate. \n\nI know it's a bad situation that I've made worse, and I certainly don't deserve any of your help, but I really don't know what to do, or how to do it", "summary": "One of my friends [20F] wants to start a long-distance relationship, and I'm not sure that having a LDR is a good idea"} {"id": "t3_1b5h89", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Don't know where to go", "post": "22/f, 25/m together 1 year 9 months.\n\nWe moved in with each other after a year. Both working together. The strains were apparent immediately, but we dealt with the stress in incredibly different ways. I wanted to talk about it - he bottled his feelings and lashed out at weird times.. usually in public.\n\nNow, I have quit my job and have decided to take control of my life. This is after coming home for the final time and seeing him drunk and sad on the couch - I sat on the couch ignoring him politely until he decided to lash out at me. I went to bed and I could hear him yell at the TV and talk to himself until he passed out.\n\nSince that moment he's been incredibly sad since I told him I was moving out - being \"on a break\" so we both can get our lives together. He's been so sweet since then until we had sex recently. We went out to dinner a night ago, he started drinking and lashed out at me at the restaurant for \"something I did\". I don't know what it is. But, it's ridiculous. It's almost like through the intimacy he felt too much comfort and reverted to the side of his personality that is damaging to our relationship. We came home and he immediately passed out.\n\nI've been contacted for interviews and I'm trying to better my life and my relationship. I don't quite think he gets that the space I am giving us is to give him the chance to prove he's not a pathetic, sad, drunk man but a fully capable adult that can function in an emotionally mature relationship.\n\nAm I waiting for something that can't happen? Should I just cut the cord?\n\nThis is very complicated but I didn't want to write a wall of text", "summary": "taking a \"break\" - i've decided to take control of my life while trying to give emotionally stunted boyfriend a chance to grow up.. is it worth it?"} {"id": "t3_1i0w70", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Lake Michigan Credit Union/Rewards checking accounts", "post": "I'm currently with Ally bank and their .84% interest rate is nice, but I just found out about reward checking accounts with LMCU offering 3% interest if certain demands are met: direct deposit, 10 debit card transactions, 4 logins to home banking, and electronic billing statements. These are all things that I do anyway, except for 4 home logins a month which is quite doable. Have any of you tried this/ does it sound enticing?\n\nAs it is a credit union it is insured by the NCUA, does this all sound too good to be true? Is there a catch I'm missing?\n\n(I am totally not working for this credit union as I realize now my post sounds like a sales pitch)\n\nHere are some other high reward checking accounts to prove my innocence, some with higher rates, but not in my state.", "summary": "Reward checking accounts get you 3%+ rates from doing some trivial bullshit each month, what are your experiences/is it worth it?"} {"id": "t3_394323", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[35/m] I'm having trouble communicating with my gf [38/f]", "post": "I'm just looking for ideas here, since this is a complex and sensitive subject. My gf and I have been together almost 9 months. She suffers from severe depression but seems to handle it well most of the time from medication and treatment. If I try to communicate my needs, she takes any kind of perceived criticism as a personal attack. I am trying to figure out if there's a way to communicate my needs without her feeling this way.\n\nFor example, I told her this weekend that I didn't respond enthusiastically to some plans she was trying to make with me because I had other things on my mind; I didn't want to talk about some troubling family problems going on because the last time I tried to, she cut me off and then didn't ask about it again. If I say anything like this, she takes it as a huge personal slight. So after a lot of crying and some time apart, we talk again and I'm able to say that I was giving an example of why I kept quiet since the last time I felt like she was apathetic to listening to my problems. \n\nThe plans she had were to do an overnight nearby, but we were supposed to goto the bahamas instead of that day trip but now she says she's not comfortable going on a 5 day trip with me. I am terribly hurt by this; we have been really happy and really love each other and it sounded like she was on board. \n\nBut any sort of commitment to building a life together is met with \"I'm not ready for that.\" I always try to communicate my needs but it seems to backfire and now I feel very used for emotional support and sex and whatever else. She knows I want to travel together and then be able to talk about moving in together and other life goals together. I think that is more than reasonable after being together 9 months and for people our age in a happy relationship.", "summary": "I try to communicate my needs or feelings, but seems to backfire because depressive behavior seems to take over. Can't seem to make basic progress which is devastating an otherwise very loving relationship."} {"id": "t3_1p83ko", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[M46] going to see my parents for the first time in over 20 years , unsure how im going to react", "post": "This is my first reddit post so apologies in advance.\n\nI haven't seen my parents in over 20 years following a family dispute and I live over 1,500 miles away in a different country. We haven't spoken, verbally either in all that time.\n\nHowever, late last year they got in contact via Facebook, I guess to start a rebuilding process. I should mention that I have 4 almost adult children who they contacted via email, only one of which wants a relation with them in any shape, understandable as they've never been part of their lives.\n\nIt is because of the youngest, who wants to go visit them that I'm going also. Ultimately it would be unfair of me not to allow her to see her grandparents, when in all reality it will probably be the first and last time that she does.\n\nI'm going , although not staying with my parents. But after so long I'm just not sure what to say or how I'm going to react to them. Bearing in mind that this will probably be the last time I see them also I don't want to say or do anything I will regret and certainly want to avoid going over old rifts.\n\nThe family dispute was nothing sinister is I have no worries in that front it was just one of those things that happens and I'm sure in hindsight we both regret the missed time but that doesn't, unfortunately, negate the reality .", "summary": "(M40) travelling to see parents for first time in 20 years following family dispute and am unsure how to react to them."} {"id": "t3_1q9f39", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[25M] dealing with my GF[23F] of almost five years starting to have feelings for another guy.[UPDATE]", "post": "So first off I want to thank /r/relationships for their input on the situation. I spoke with my gf the other day openly and honestly and basically told her I felt disrespected from the whole situation and that I want things to work out as we've gone through too much and much more than this and came through. She explained to me that she was feeling like we plateaued in our relationship and that we were at a bit of a stalemate. I understand as she's already graduated from college and I'm about a year away from graduating. This is an issue because she actually is ready for marriage but I want to be done with undergrad first. After many tears we decided on a somewhat mutual break up with intentions of hopefully getting back together when we are a bit farther along in our lives so we can marry. With that said she can't promise that regardless of what happens we will be able to marry(if she meets someone and they hit it off and get together) but she still feels her future is with me just not right now.She says she just likes the attention the guy gives her but can't reciprocate them. Because of this she doesn't want me to wait around for her as I told her I cannot promise that right now as it's something is have to deal with myself. She wants to just be friends and I told her I can't do that. She knows that but can't not have me in her life. A lot more was said and spoken but that's pretty much the overall.She still loves me but can't give me the love that i want from her right now.", "summary": "We've broken up. She wants to be single and figure things out for herself and I have to work to moving on with possibility of not getting back together."} {"id": "t3_4b5cii", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "(FL) My Ex drove to my home drunk last night and vandalized my car", "post": "This morning I woke up to my landlord calling me and telling me my car had been scratched up, and profanity had been scratched into it. People in the front of the house heard strange noises around 1 am the night before, but when they went outside, they said the noises stopped. At first, I had no idea who would do this kind of thing to me. I called the police to file a report, and a number of my friends suggested it was my ex after I told them what happened. I filed the report, stating the only person it might be was him. \n\nThere was something weird about it though. I hadn't spoken to him in months, except for a brief accidental meeting at a farmers market. We were not in contact, and nothing (as far as I'm aware) sparked this behavior from him. I found out it was him because a few friends of mine who have him on FB told me he had been at a bar near my house the night before, posting up that he was \"fu**ing blasted\". Around my car were a bunch of big white, crystalline rocks that are not from around my neighborhood, which were obviously what he used to scratch up my car. Guess where they're from? The outdoor seating area of the bar he was at. I checked. \n\nI don't really know where to go from here. I am going to contact the officer handling my case and tell him what I know now, and that I am confident it was him... but beyond that... how do I get back the $1k-$1500 its going to take to fix my car, which now has \"B*TCH\" carved into the side of it?\n\nI am honestly afraid, and I don't know if I should confront him, or file a restraining order. He can be explosive, and since the breakup he has been borderline alcoholic. I can't even come close to affording the deductible on my comprehensive ($2500) or paying for damages to my car, so I need to take some kind of action, but I am afraid he will retaliate with something more serious than scratches on my car.\n\nAny advice would help. Thanks.", "summary": "Ex showed up at my house during the night, vandalized my car. I need to go after him for the $, but I don't know how and I'm afraid he will hurt me if I do."} {"id": "t3_24y6ri", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Should I [24/M] be concerned about picture messages on my SO's [26/F] bill?", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 7 years now, and have been living together for much of that time. We share a phone plan through Verizon. I went on MyVerizon because we are switching plans and I wanted to see how much data/min/txts we actually use. When I was checking out how many txts each of us use it shows what numbers each phone texted and received texts from. I am not the jealous type really, so I don't care who she texts but there was a few numbers that she was sending and receiving picture messages from. One was mine, one was a mutual friend, two were numbers from NJ (where her family lives, so I assume its her father or sister), and one local number. \n\nThe latest 3 picture msg exchange with the local number occurred on the very same day that I looked it up (yesterday). I went to check the last local number to see if I have it in my phone and I don't. My first thought was 'ok no big deal it could be a friend of just hers'. I later picked her up from work and joked about how many texts she sends, and I said, \"this month alone you've sent or received 20 pic msgs\". She said \"oh for you or my father or my sister\". I then asked when was the last time you sent one or got one, and she said \"about a week ago, maybe?\". I have proof that it was the same day, I doubt she forgot about that. I feel that if it was a friend she would have just said \"oh blah blah sent one today to me\". \n\nShe has always deleted all her txt/pic msgs, she says its because she likes to keep it clean. When I first found out about it I hated that she deleted them, but I got over it and trusted her with it. She has never really given me reason to believe she cheats or anything, but why would she lie about the pic msgs? I feel like its too late to ask her straight forward who is this number, so I'm not sure what to do. Any advise would be great it is really starting to make me feel paranoid and I consider myself to be pretty trusting.", "summary": "My gf of 7 years lied about receiving picture msgs that I saw she received through MyVerizon from a number I don't know, and I'm not sure what I should do."} {"id": "t3_fo3xj", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I want to make things better with my brother.", "post": "(crossposted from r/relationshipadvice)\n\nLong story short, I'm a female who has never gotten along very well with her older brother. Although things have gotten slightly better over the past few years, we've always been at each other's throats, and have even go so far as to get in quasi-physical fights. Part of my attitude towards him is that he has a huge sense of entitlement where he thinks he deserves everything in the world and doesn't appreciate what people do for him, and this has driven me crazy forever.\n\nLast night I had a dream in which my brother died and my grandma called me up to tell me. I woke up from this dream absolutely sobbing and realized that, although I'm not proud of his decisions, (quitting school, lack of permanence in jobs) I still look up to my brother and love him.\n\nHere's the issue: I would like to tell my brother how I feel, but I know from previous experience that he's just going to blow me off. Chances are, if I wrote him a letter, he would show it to his friends, or burn it, or whatever. Part of this probably stems from the fact that he thinks of himself as \"immortal\" and so he won't accept the whole \"I would miss you if you were gone\" talk.\n\nWhat should I do? Just try to accept the fact that we won't have a relationship, try to talk to him knowing that he will most likely blow me off, what?", "summary": "After having a lifetime of a bad relationship with my brother, I have a dream about him dying and realize that I still look up to him and love him. If I tell him, he'll likely blow me off."} {"id": "t3_i3mhk", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Been on the treadmill for a while, decided to take things outdoors -- and I sucked!", "post": "I started to get into jogging about 3 years ago, purchased a treadmill and ever since I have kept up with 2-3 30m workouts a week. My treadmill has a workout program on it, 2 miles in 30 minutes (not exactly a killer program).. but it gets me sweating and burns 300 calories, so I stuck with it for a long time. Recently I got bored with it and started doing it a second time immediately after, so 4 miles in 60 minutes. I then found that while it was a little harder, I would only stop because I tend to get blisters if I run too much (side-note: maybe I should use athletic tape?)\n\nSo after a few 4-mile sessions, I felt like I wasn't pushing myself very hard, and I decided to give the outdoors a try. I've done this a couple of times before -- I knew it would be more difficult to maintain pace, the hot weather, and I would be fighting terrain / constantly dealing with navigation, as opposed to the auto-pilot mode I tend to go into on the treadmill. So, I decided to work my way up, 1 mile for this first couple of sessions, then 2 miles, then 3 miles -- the problem is each session felt 10x harder than anything I experienced on the treadmill and I am starting to wonder if I should continue or not, or how to progress properly so as to not feel so terrible afterwards (aching shins, feeling like I'm ready to pass out, etc). Maybe I should get a better treadmill routine?", "summary": "Same old treadmill routine is becoming a bore, and running outside is beating me up -- I need to find some middle ground to progress."} {"id": "t3_3yasit", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "Ulcer issues, should I go to instacare?", "post": "age 21 sex m height 6ft weight 190 race white location utah medical issues (asthma) (abuterol, methylphenidate, serataline, weed)\n\nI have had chronic stomach pain for months now on and off. This is the worst it has been. Yesterday after eating xmas dinner I have a shart upper stomach local pain. I am 99% sure this is an ulcer after research. \n\nMy question is this, the pain started at about 5pm last night and has been coninuous sense. Eating soup and taking tums has relieved the pain, but it comes back when they wear off. I am getting worried this is a very bad ulcer and may need surgery, it doesn't really hurt that bad, or more than any regular stomach ache, probably less, but it is localized and annoying. I read that you don't need to go to emergency unless you have a couple of symptoms. I had red blood in my stool 6 days ago, but this was before the pain, and it was a hemmeroid in my opinion. The next bowel movement after that had red streaks, and then it stopped so I didn't worry about it. Now my stool is darker brown than usual. I wouldn't say black, but I would say noticabley darker. It isn't tarry or loose or sticky at all or I would have gone to the instacare already, regular logs lol.", "summary": "Does darkened stool indicate that I may need to get the ulcer diagnosed ASAP? I have checked for fever and I am normal, no diarrhea for at least a week or 2."} {"id": "t3_xf4b5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What would you do?", "post": "Little back story. I'm Australian living in the uk, my visa is about to run up and I'm going through the painstakingly long and costly process of apply for an extensions. I'm staying to be with my girlfriend of a year who is an American and has 2 years left on her visa. She wants to stay in the uk for another year then move to Aus with me.\n\nThe other day I was at her place and she was out, but had left her gmail signed in. I know it was a massively bad idea but curiosity got to me so I peeked at her chat log. She has been chatting to some guy back home in the states rather seductively, even goes as far as to say if she were there right now she would suck him off under his desk.\n\nThis makes me sick to my stomach. What do I do? Do I confront her and tell her I have read her chat logs and see what she has to say about it? Do I pretend nothing has happened? I don't know how to react. I'm very much in love with her and I'm sure she loves me. Not sure if I'm misinterpreting this for somewhat innocent flirting gone out of hand. Or of I should be genuinely worried.\n\nMy inialtial instinct is to wait till it happens again then confront her, but just want to know some other opinions, don't feel like I can talk to anyone else about it in the real world.\n\nSorry for shit typing, on phone", "summary": "stupidly read gf chat logs to a guy in another country with rather full on flirting/innuendo. Feel like shit, want to know how to react"} {"id": "t3_1cpuhg", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Need advice: Possible MS, but boyfriend is being laid off. Here are our options. (x-post to MultipleSclerosis)", "post": "Okay, so first off, I have not been diagnosed yet. My first neurology appointment isn't until the 29th. I have a lot of the symptoms, and I've had an MRI, and my ENT has discussed the possibility with me, but I don't know for sure yet. \n\nWhile this has been going on, my live-in boyfriend found out recently that he is going to be laid off from his job, because his company is closing the local location. However, he is being offered a chance to move up to a team captain position, with a small raise and a chance at becoming supervisor, at their home location two hours away from us. They are offering to help us move as well. He is strongly considering it. \n\nHere's where I'm worried. With a possible diagnosis of something like MS, health insurance is going to be a must have. I do have some currently with my employer, but if we move then I will have to quit, and no more insurance. I can either get another job in this new city, or attend school full time at the university there. I was considering going to school already, so this option is appealing to me. But I worry about having to consider high-cost medications if it turns out I need them.", "summary": "Would it be a better idea for us to stay in our current city so I can keep my insurance in case of a probable MS diagnosis, or risk moving to a new city and trying to find another option?"} {"id": "t3_j0jma", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can I somehow get the other guy's scumbag insurance company to pay up without having to take them to court? details at 11", "post": "So, a month ago I was delivering a pizza at near 3 AM. I was at an intersection with a huge obelisk in the center, so you can't see the oncoming traffic. Because of this, there is a left turn arrow, and when it's red, you can't go. Anyway, the light turned green, I went straight, and the other people who weren't paying attention took a left in front of me when they shouldn't, and we collided, causing some bumper damage to my car and some door damage to his.\n\nNow fast forward a month later, and his insurance company won't pay up the $500 or so. They seem to be under the impression that it wasn't his fault. The thing is, it totally was. HE got a ticket, and I didn't. The police were right there on the scene. It's been brought to my attention that if you get a ticket, it's goddamn your fault.\n\nAnyway, what can I do about this? I don't think the $500 dollars would cover a court case and lawyer fees. Maybe some legal advice, eh?", "summary": "You won't be able to give any good advice without reading it, so just read it you lazy person. It's three paragraphs."} {"id": "t3_3yhqm4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22F] My religious parents [60M/61F] want to come visit me but I haven't told them about my boyfriend, or that we're living together.", "post": "A year and a half ago, I [22F] moved to a new city and moved in with my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 and a half years now. \n\nI am finishing up school soon, and my parents want to make a trip to come visit me. It's at the point where I can't really avoid the issue anymore. \n\nMy parents are very conservative Christian. They think that having a boyfriend is wrong, and sex before marriage is sinful. They believe unmarried people of opposite genders should not spend time alone with each other. Just today I overheard my dad telling my mom about a girl that \"shacked up with her boyfriend\" with a very condescending tone. My dad is also possibly bipolar, and overreacts to literally everything. \n\nEver since I went to college, I started becoming less religious, and mostly consider myself an atheist at this point. I think they know I don't go to church, but we don't talk about it. \n\nI have serious communication problems with my parents. I have never told them about any of my previous boyfriends, and they do not know that I'm in a relationship now. They obviously do not know that I am living with my boyfriend. \n\nI could really use some advice on how to go about telling them, or how much to tell them. All the secrecy and lying is causing me so much stress, but when I think about how to tell them, I freak out. I always feel like a disappointment to them, not to mention they think living together before marriage is morally wrong. \n\n I don't think it's possible to hide my boyfriend from them, but I could possibly keep them away from my apartment. What should I do??", "summary": "I've avoided telling my parents about my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. Now we are living together, and my religious parents want to come visit me, and I'm freaking out."} {"id": "t3_1jzct8", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Am I completely undateable?", "post": "Firstly, I apologize if I'm in the wrong sub-reddit, the rules seem to suggest this post is okay.\n\nI'm 21 year olds, and I'm a shy and quiet guy - at least when I first meet people, quite thin and socially awkward when I first meet people (due to severe bullying at school, 5 years ago). I have been told I look \"okay\" but I'm certainly not a Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, probably a below-average looker at best.\n\nI have been told by my past girlfriends (nearly 4 years ago since I last had a girlfriend...) that I'm a \"nice guy\" and come across as \"very caring\".\n\nI have always had a strong desire to be in a relationship with someone but have always struggled to find the places to meet women and to actually have the confidence to talk to them and have anything interesting to say (I find it difficult to start conversations and keep them going).\n\nMy biggest worry is this 4 year period between now and my last girlfriend will turn into 10 years, then 20 years, then death.\n\nI think that because of school, and the bullying that followed me for more than 10 years during my time at school, I have no real concept of body language, what to do or how to do things and it's really frustrating.", "summary": "Socially awkward guy that isn't good looking or good at starting conversations wants to know if relationships are possible and how I would go about meeting people and keeping them interested."} {"id": "t3_3fui32", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Liking of girls while in a relationship Me 21M and her 20F", "post": "So I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half. This is the first relationship I have ever been in. I love it, I enjoy my time with her and I can't see anything wrong with what we have going on.\n\nI have been going out at night with a bunch of work members often to get food and chat and whatnot and I have started to notice one of my coworkers more. I guess I could say we have like a casual fun relationship and being out with her and coworkers I kind of started wondering like what it would be like if I had dated her or something like that.\n\nSo the question I have is, is it normal to think about being in a relationship with other people while you are in one. Again I love my girlfriend and I'm not saying I would leave her and I would never cheat on her either its just like something that crosses my mind when we are all out and I'm having a good time. Please give me any input, or let me know if I'm just like a scumbag or something", "summary": "I \"noticed\" a co-worker and I wondered what its like to date her instead of my GF is this normal or bad?"} {"id": "t3_2coeci", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] and my ex [15 F]. I still think about her all the time", "post": "We were together for only a month and a week and she broke up with me a month and a half ago. I still think about her all the time no matter what I do. I try to find distractions and things to fill the void that is created but the wound never seems to heal.\n\nMy parents are divorced and I think that might be an issue and all my friends say it will just take time but i'm worried because my relationship was only so short yet I felt so attached and now I'm worried that time may not do any more healing.\n\nI know I'm still very young and have more relationships in the future but I'm worried that if I can't get over a one month relationship then how will I get over a year or maybe even a 2 year relationship.", "summary": "Ex broke up with me a month and a half ago. Still think about her all the time. Starting to worry that I'll never get over her"} {"id": "t3_nk2hw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what is it like to grow old? Physically, what does it feel like and how old were you when you began to notice?", "post": "Im a 24 yearold male.\n\nThere are these steps in front of my friends apartment that are both, too long and too short to walk down properly without modifying your steps. I find that it works best to just jog down/up them as they are the perfect length.\n\nThis past weekend I was leaving his place and, as always, I ran up the steps. For whatever reason, once at the top, I turned back around and saw a man, about 45 years old, walking up the steps at a slow pace(comparatively to me) but not exactly at an elders pace. I instantly began wondering how he must physically feel as he didnt seem capable of running up exactly how I had done.\n\nBeing 24, the only thing I've noticed so far is my energy. I, at the age of 23, began taking naps for the first time in my life. In college, I was capable of sleeping 6 hours, going to class, work, then party that night. Sure I was tired, but it really wasn't a big issue. Now, after 6 hours of sleep and 9 hours of work, I drive home half asleep and actually nap (every so often) before dinner.", "summary": "How old we're you when you first started feeling the effects of old age? Physically, how does it *feel*?"} {"id": "t3_4yitte", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Internationals working in the US: how do you save for retirement/invest money?", "post": "It's always recommended to start saving/investing as early as possible, but what should I do if I'm not sure where I am going to be in 5, 10 years? I don't have a green card, and my employer won't sponsor it in the nearest future. I don't know if I move to another country in a couple of years or if they just kick me out of the US when my visa expires.\n\nHowever, employer has a mandatory 403(b) retirement plan, where I can contribute up to 5% of my salary and the employer does 4% matching. The enrollment will start after 1 year anniversary of employment. They also have a supplemental retirement plans without matching.\n\nOr do I start investing, buying stocks and stuff like that? I don't like the idea that my money just sit in my savings account and do nothing.\n\nThanks!", "summary": "do I max out retirement contributions with the employer, even if I am an expat and I have no idea whether I stay in the US or settle down in the other country? Or do I start investing in other things?"} {"id": "t3_2cm4aq", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Should I stop dating? (girl)", "post": "I know that I don't want a committed relationship at this point in my life. I'm busy with work and school, and I'm a quiet person in general who needs a lot of peace and quiet to recharge. I usually only feel like dating one or two days a week, sometimes less, but I can't find anyone who will honestly accept this. Guys tell me they understand that I'm not interested in a committed relationship, but within days or a week they assume/insist that we're exclusive and I have the option of breaking it off or trying to weasel my way back to freedom while not totally shutting them out. I realize that I have all the symptoms of being afraid of commitment, and eventually things start falling apart as if this were the case, but I maintain that the problem is that most people are too proud to accept these conditions or think I'm being coy. I like dating and meeting new people but I honestly can't handle more than a few days a week, and I'm sick of looking like a jerk trying to get my way.", "summary": "Should I dump my \"boyfriend\" of 2 months who is now guilting me about not seeing him enough and stop dating totally, or should I try to patch things up?"} {"id": "t3_321cfm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [21M] kind of confused about my feelings for this girl [22F], maybe you guys can give me a run-down", "post": "Basically there's this girl I've been friends with for years now. She's always really sweet, nice, cute, the whole bit. When we go out in public, I notice guys checking her out, and even though we're friends, I like them admiring.\n\nNow, to make it sound less creepy, we are intimate. We're just friends but we do more than what typical friends do, I'm sure you guys understand what I mean.\n\nA couple years ago, she told me she wanted a relationship with me and after we talked it out (I didn't want one due to my own issues) she said that was okay and we went about our usual business.\n\nA couple months later, she went off to college ~140mi away. After she left, we've both been with other people, but neither of us can find anyone like the other. \n\nThe other night I got back from a party and I was laying in bed and she called me on Skype. She was all done up for her soro formal and wanted to show me. When we hung up, I realized that every time she hangs up, I miss her.... A LOT. Moreso than I've ever missed anyone and I find myself thinking about her almost daily. I told her how much I missed her last night over Skype and she blushed and said she felt the same exact way. She asked me why I don't tell her that and it's because I don't like people to know how I feel.\n\nI told my bud all of this and he thinks I'm in love with her but I just haven't accepted that yet. I don't feel like I'm in lover with her, but she does pretty much come first in my book. She does more for me than anyone else and is my best friend, so don't think I do everything for her, if anything, she does far more for me.\n\nWhat do you guys make of it? Am I just missing my best friend or is there more to it?", "summary": "Met girl at party. She asked for tree fiddy. It was about that time I realized, this was no ordinary girl. She stood about 40 feet tall..."} {"id": "t3_s46f5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Possible sexual harassment or a plain lie?", "post": "(Throwaway account)\n\nYesterday, a friend of mine told me via instant messaging following: she stated that at work her boss made moves on her, grazed over her cheeks, shoulders and hips saying she's cute and similar things. After work he also offered her to give her a ride home, she declined with the words that her boyfriend would pick her up any minute now.\n\nThis looks clearly to me as a case of sexual harassment and I have some ideas what I would do (legal counsel, since most lawyers offer a free initial counseling interview; using some sort of dictation machine, if the boss decides to make another move).\n\nTo come to a point, I'm not quite sure if she is actually telling the truth. You have to know that she has Borderline Personality Disorder and is per nature a highly manipulative person.\nWhat made me suspicious enough to post here looking for your advice was that she said it's OK for her that her boss does this (the feelings aren't mutual, by the way).\nAlso, she hopes that her boss stops his actions after she told him yesterday about her boyfriend (she has none, by the way, but I would have suggested this to her, if she wouldn't had done this already) to pick her up. Anyway, I have yet to find out what happened today.\n\nI feel like split between two \"realities\" and was thinking all day, how I could find out if she is actually telling the truth, since these are serious allegations.\n\nCould you think of any subtle questions I could ask her? You have to understand that I'm willing to believe her, but given the nature of her personality, I'm not quite sure. :O", "summary": "friend told me that her boss could have sexually harassed her at work yesterday. However, since she is a highly manipulative person (plus Borderline Personality Disorder), I'm not sure if I can believe this, although I'm willing to."} {"id": "t3_11zplw", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "How do I (f18) show interest / know if he (m19) is also?", "post": "The past month I've been working weekends at a haunted house in my area. I started talking to one of the guys I work with and as the weeks have gone by we started talking more before / after work. Last weekend he offered to give me a ride home (I had been taking a cab because I don't have a car or a friend to drive me), and we ended up hanging out from 12am - 7am. \n\nWe originally wanted to see a movie that we thought was at 2:15am. While we waited we went to his house and played video games, then went to the theatre and found out we were wrong about the movie. So we spent a good half hour just sitting in his car in the parking lot chatting away, then we drove around and kept talking. \n\nAt some point during the night we brought up how we generally are friends with someone before dating them. We did a lot of talking about relationships and such, which is why I think he may be interested. A couple of times we would veer off into another topic and he would all of a sudden bring it back to relationships. \n\nThen we went on a walk through the park which lasted a few hours. By the time we were on our way back to his house, we were both pretty cold (he forgot a sweatshirt and mine wasn't helping too much) so he latched onto me so we wouldn't freeze. We stayed like that the rest of the time, only switching sides a couple of times. \n\nThe next night when he drove me home we ended up sitting in my driveway for roughly 45 minutes to an hour, until he was getting yelled at to come home. I got his number before he left and we spent the majority of yesterday texting back and forth. \n\nWe made plans to see a movie tomorrow, he has a friend coming along as well. \n\nMy problem is I don't want to seem too forward, but I don't want to seem like I'm not interested. So far he seems like a really cool guy. And I want to know if it seems like he's even interested. My instincts say yes, but I'm not an expert.", "summary": "Spent a lot of time with co-worker, meeting friend of his at movie tomorrow, is there any sort of interest? How do I flirt without being too obvious?"} {"id": "t3_1nwsay", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Cold? Too bad, I'm in charge of the thermostat from now on.", "post": "I work at a dr's office in a building with other tenants. We have three thermostats. One of our exam rooms gets particularly cold, it happens to also be the room we do pap smears in. Whenever my coworker, Maria, notices she has a pap (we don't do them often) she turns the thermostat to 78*. We are in south Texas, it's hot and humid. 78* makes the entire nurses station and 4 other exam rooms hot and gross. The building maintenance came in on Friday to check our air flow, they were getting a complaint that one of the offices (newly leased) was too hot. Turns out that our back thermostat also controls that office. I told Maria that maintenance said not to touch the thermostat. I get to keep it at 70-72* without the whole back office getting hot.", "summary": "Make the office uncomfortably hot, nobody wants a sweaty pap smear, keep it brisk, get in, get out."} {"id": "t3_1fb3vc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How can my SO [29M] and I [20F] be more sexually supportive of each other?", "post": "My SO and I have been together a little over four months. This doesn't sound like very long, but things progressed fairly quickly. For the most part, our relationship is good. We have a lot in common, enjoy each other's company, and just have similar personalities. We do have messy arguments once in a while, but that's for another day. \n \nOur sex life is great, to say the least. We're in sync, like the same things, communicate, feel comfortable with each other's bodies, etc. The trouble comes in here. I just started a new form of birth control about a month ago (nexplanon). The side effects from this haven't been a big issue, except that sometimes I spot and my sex drive as been on the low side. Before this, I would pounce on him all the time. I couldn't get enough. We still have sex more often than I think is normal. \n \nNow, when he gets in the mood and starts initiating, I'll sometimes kindly cut him off, because I'm just not in the mood. When I get in the mood, I will start to initiate. If he doesn't immediately reciprocate, I'll ask him if he wants me to stop. He's told me this is a difficult question because even if he's not really in the mood, it still feels good and isn't going to ask me to stop mid-blowjob. He's expressed to me that he feels there's some hypocrisy going on. I also want to note that sometimes all I need is a little physical convincing. Sometimes, I don't want him to physically convince me. I think this is what is confusing and frustrating for him. \n \n*My question is, how can we avoid feeling hurt or rejected when one of us doesn't want sex? Am I in the wrong for initiating physically in this situation? How can I let my SO know that since I'm on hormones, I feel a little more entitled to veto power? Am I wrong for feeling entitled?", "summary": "My SO and I are having difficulty dealing with when one of us is not in the mood. There are some sore feelings and talks of hypocrisy. "} {"id": "t3_2ogc2f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my GF [23F] Over 3 yrs, we both cheated but we still want to be together", "post": "We've lived together for 3 years ever since we first met in person when I visited her in Canada, started online then we met and haven't been apart since, save for a few weeks here and there.\n\nI ended up doing it first, with an older women I used to have a close relationship with but we were only ever just phone friends cause she lived far away and we both knew an in person relationship would never happen. One night I was saying hi to her and without thinking I was talking to her like we used to and it was a huge mistake that I never meant to do. My girlfriend found out couple months later when she found the texts on my phone.\n\nNext year after that happened she started exchanging pictures with random guys online, she said she started doing it for validation and nothing would ever happen. I had a hard time trusting her after that and would check her phone every once and a while, but found she was deleting things and I confronted her about it, she was still doing it after I found out. \n\nTonight I also found out that while she was visiting family she had actual sex with someone else, and that it happened shortly after the first time I discovered her doing it. It was terrible because both of us feel as if we've been improving for weeks now and getting back to a time when both of us were very happy with each other.\n\nI'm not really interested in hearing other people talk about how we should just bite the bullet and break up because she and I discuss that enough and neither of us can or want to do it.", "summary": "I cheated first and stopped, year later she started but hasn't really stopped but still want to get past it and be happy with each other again, how can we both move past this and start trusting each other again?"} {"id": "t3_ipxhd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How long should I wait for him to propose?", "post": "I'm 25/F he is 26/M We have been living together now for over 2 years, and have been together for over 3 years. Marriage was never a touchy subject until recently. We would openly discuss getting married, he talks about it, I talk about it. However, nothing actually happens. When the topic turns serious, He tells me he is scared, he cant afford it, etc etc. I feel like I am settling due to his needs and reasons, but what about mine? I want to marry him, I love him, to the best of my knowledge he loves me. After this long of living together there isn't anything else I can offer that he doesn't already know or hasn't seen. This is affecting the other aspects of our relationship, because it makes me feel angry and resentful that he wont take the next step. I don't know if I am just overreacting or if I just need to be patient and wait it out.", "summary": "Boyfriend doesn't want to get married after 3 years for various reasons. This is creating resentment and the resentment is ruining other good aspects of the relationship."} {"id": "t3_2mr1u8", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I'm a not so smooth 19M currently crushing on a 17F and need some advice", "post": "As the title says I'm not smooth in any way with women, talking with them occasionally turns awkward and I usually run out of things to say. So I'm looking for advice on how I should start a conversation with this girl, continue it, and leave her wanting to talk to me again. So far every time we've talked (we talk on Facebook) I've began the conversations, and they've ended kind of abruptly, usually with her either not replying or her giving an awkward \"later.\" Is this her saying \"give me some room and don't talk to me so much,\" or am I just being paranoid? I would also like to know what signs to look for if there are any obvious ones, like ones that I should take as a sign to leave her alone, or ones that spell out \"ask me out already\" in mysterious girl talk.", "summary": "I need help continuing conversations with this girl and want to know what signs to look for when she wants to be left alone, or when I should ask her on a date."} {"id": "t3_244z0p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my GF [19 F], are having an argument about social roles and need a third party(s) opinon.", "post": "My girl friend who i am in a long distance relationship with asked me if it was fine for her to go out with one of her Ex's, who planned to come down and see her in a few weeks. From what she has told me this Ex still have feelings for her, and has been the topic of a few of our discussions, when he's said some very,sexual things to her. When she asked for my opinion on the topic i told her it was her decision on whether she wanted to go or not.\n\nThis apparently got her very upset, and the argument ensued. She sent me a text later saying i shouldn't have given her a choice and should have just told her No, from the start of the conversation. She said that she should play the role of the woman and i should play the role of the man, which means being more aggressive with her.\n\n This is something i'm always doing in the relationship, but i don't feel as though i should be telling her what to do all the time as shes a grown woman (at least in my opinion). i cant understand why she is so angry that i gave her a choice, and now i'm wondering if it really is my fault.", "summary": "Was I wrong to give her a choice in the matter, and do you think social roles are still very important in a modern relationship?"} {"id": "t3_47xqhn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with a Girl i just recently started talking to [19 F] Seems interested in me, But never replies", "post": "We have had One really good conversation, I did just recently start talking to her a week ago and she went up to visit people in the bay area where she use to live. She finally texts me back I ask her on a date she says yes, then i reply something like \":) okay, Ill try not to bug you anymore while your visiting old friends/family have fun on your trip\" she texts me back somewhat delayed saying \"noooo its okay i like talking to me bug me whenever you want\" So we have a little conversation after that she stops replying pretty quickly then I send one text like a hour after she stopped replying. She never replied tot that so the next day I text her once. How often is it okay/Acceptable to text some one when your not getting replies in this situation i originally planned not to text her today and wait til saturday/sunday when shes on the tail end of her trip/ coming back down to where i live", "summary": "New girl started talking to on vacation kinda Doesnt reply a ton but Says she likes talking to me/text her anytime how often is it acceptable to text her"} {"id": "t3_3a77f6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Figured out my [M22] college 'family' will be seperating much sooner than I'd like. Pretty depressed about the whole situation.", "post": "I'm really blindsided by this whole thing. I was under the assumption that I was going to be living with the people that were basically my family for the past 2 years until next spring. I recently got word that the people owning the house we re living in want to sell the house in august. I figured we d all have the summer together still but now it seems like the people that I was closest with are going to be leaving in 2 weeks. I seriously haven't cried in years until today. Like I said these people have been like family to me and have helped me do much in getting over my anxiety and depression and becoming the person I want to be. I'm just shocked by this situation now and kind of terrified that all of the positive things I've learned are going to fade away once I go seperate ways from my roommates. Some of them will stay in the city Im in. Others I might never see again. Thinking about finding another place to live makes me want to throw up right now. I knew this would happen eventually...just not like this. I'm not sure what advice I even need right now. Im afraid that Im not going to find another place to live like this or group of friends like this again. I'm afraid my life is going to fall apart after this summer. I'm afraid of feeling alone and weak like before. I just want the fear to go away.", "summary": "My long time roommates that have helped me through rough times are parting ways and I'm afraid that Im going to be very lonely/depressed."} {"id": "t3_3gw9b0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30s F] with [30s M], how do I overcome my fear of intimacy issues?", "post": "ETA details: Me: F, mid-30s, him: M, mid-30s, length of relationship: 0 (not really a formal relationship yet)\n\nI have been chatting with this guy for 2 years on the internet, we met in a common online interest chatroom (not dating website). I recently got a chance to travel near him and we met up once for a whole day. This time we are planning to meet up for a whole weekend, staying in separate hotel rooms.\n\nI am terrified of the meeting. He wants to know me better, but i feel terrified of getting close to people. I feel if the less-than-ideal parts of my life come up in the conversation, he won't like me. I feel like running away and avoiding any more-than-superficial conversation because I don't feel like revealing the imperfect parts of myself. It causes me enormous anxiety and makes me want to give it all up rather than staying and tolerating the stress and making it past this stage.\n\nWhat things should one tell by the second meeting? These are rather long meetings because we live several hundred miles away and have to travel to meet. I am self-conscious about two things in my life - one that I am estranged from my family, which is the short version, but the long version is nuanced and will take time to tell, and it is probably too soon to tell the gory details. The other is that I am divorced. Both these issues might imply some baggage, and these have caused me issues, but when should I tell, and in how much detail should I tell?\n \nI really like this guy and think he is a good person, so I would like to do this properly and not sabotage this potential/budding relationship.", "summary": "I tend to run away from in-depth conversations and fear intimacy; how do I prevent myself from sabotaging a budding relationship?"} {"id": "t3_18cnu0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why do I [22f] keep dreaming about cheating on my boyfriend [24m]?", "post": "For the past month or so, I have been having vivid dreams nearly every single night. These dreams almost *always* involve me at least kissing, and sometimes banging, a dude who isn't my boyfriend. Sometimes it's someone I actually know, other times I've never seen him before. The dream always ends with me waking up in a moment of panic, thinking \"oh my gosh, what have I done?!\" until a few seconds later when it sinks in that it was just a dream and I didn't actually cheat on my perfect, wonderful boyfriend.\n\nI don't understand where this is stemming from. I'm an incredibly faithful woman and I would never dream (well, figuratively I guess) of cheating on my boyfriend. I love him and he completely satisfies me sexually, although I only get to see him once a month or so because we're long distance.\n\nAny idea why this might be going on?", "summary": "Keep having dreams every single night where I get physical with men who aren't my boyfriend. Wake up in a panic thinking I really cheated on him. Is getting annoying. Why is this happening?"} {"id": "t3_uf5ih", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I live in a shitty small town, what does reddit think about my story?", "post": "I live in a small town. I will not provide the name of this town because I do have friends who are avid redditors. \n\nI have lived in this town for about 8 year now and as time goes on, it just gets worse and worse. My friends are starting to get involved in drugs and the \"cool\" kids who are heavily involved in drugs and alcohol are complete douchebags that take advantage of girls, they ruin their lives. \n\nI just recently went through a bad break up. My ex lied to me about pretty much everything. It has been a month and she has had 2 boyfriends since. I believe that I am a pretty good guy. I stick up for people, I don't do drugs and I don't drink. I've never taken advantage of anyone, and I think I'm pretty fun to hang around. Yet I get trampled on. This whole system of who gets the credit is fucked up. I get bullied and made fun of because I do things that are right. I stand up for people who do right, and I criticize people when they do wrong.\n\nI am going into my senior year in high school and the past couple of months have been very hard for me. I am a part of National Honor Society but I nearly failed 2 classes. I've never even come close to failing before but this town is taking it's toll. \n\nSo, to wrap this up. Does anyone else have a similar story? Or would anyone like to give their input? Anything is greatly appreciated as I just want to get out of this town as soon as possible.", "summary": "I live in small town with people who have no ambition, what should I do? Do you have any similar stories?"} {"id": "t3_1axw3k", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[27/m/clueless] looking for basic advice on taking a good friendship [23/f] to the next level", "post": "Ok, so here are the basics. I have never even come close to having a gf and really have no idea how to do this. I've been friends with this girl for probably 4 years now, although it's kind of been a long distance friendship because she moved around ~2 hours away 2 years ago to finish school. I've kept up with her, and I visited her with some other friends of mine, because there is an awesome theme park near that some of use have year passes to. I've talked to her quite a bit/texted/facebook messaged/etc, and we have a lot in common, and she really seems to enjoy my company, although she definitely hasn't really initiated anything. But she's kind of in the same situation as me, as far as never really having had a boyfriend, and she seems really insecure about herself for the most part, so i don't know if she is just kind of unsure about what to do as well. If she lived closer, I think the obvious thing to do would be to just ask her out on a causal date, and go from there. But the distance makes that seem like kind of a big step, you don't just ask her out for a coffee date when she lives 2 hours away. So, what do r/ra, maybe just tell her via text/facebook of my feelings and see what happens? I dunno.", "summary": "Really new to this, she seems like it too, we live a couple of hours apart. How to get this past the good friend level?"} {"id": "t3_2jk99x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (25F) wife is mad at me (25M) for not wanting to hurt her, and we've only been married 2 months. Help?", "post": "So we have been together 8 years. Decided to tie the knot this year. In those 8 years, I haven't done anything but kiss her.\n\nI really love this woman and she's my life, she literally means the world to me and I can't bear to ever hurt her.\n\nHere's the problem...\nOn our wedding night, she wanted us to have sex (both our firsts, and both virgins since we've been together since 17 and this has been through mutual choice). I told her we'll just watch a movie and relax because it was a long day. I did the cooking that night and we both just cuddled.\n\nThe next night, after work, she hinted at sex and was quite touchy (obviously she's my wife), and I just said I can't have sex. She was like, what?\n\nAnd I just told her how I felt... I can't ever bear to hurt her and having sex would do that... I don't want her to go through any pain and I know it'll be both our first time, but the hurt she'll have as a woman is too much for me to bear and it kills me... She was so annoyed at me, and I didn't know what to do and felt really upset.\n\nSince then she's just been annoyed with me and I don't know what to do, it's got to the point where she's pissed off we haven't had sex yet.\n\nBut I know it'll kill to see her in pain and I wouldn't know what to do...\n\nWhat can I do?\nPlease help...", "summary": "With wife for 2 months, she is pissed off with me for not having sex with her, but I can't hurt her"} {"id": "t3_35dre7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU - F*** Garlic and F**** Cooking!", "post": "Moved into my first apartment and decided I was going to turn my life around by learning to cook and eat healthy. I have made some easy recipes but this was my first time on my own with no one to help me out.\n\nFound a slow cooker recipe for salsa chicken - sounded good and easy enough. Recipe called for like 3 or 5 cloves or garlic or some shit. I'm used to using the garlic in a jar but I couldn't find that at the store so I bought 8 things of garlic (for other recipes later in the week as well)\n\n8 fucking bulbs of garlic. Because I didn't know cloves and bulbs were different. TIFU #1\n\nThen I proceed to get home and start said recipe. Time to cut the garlic. I take a huge knife on my tiny red cutting board and start slicing away I don't know wtf I'm doing. I held the garlic the wrong way, it slipped out of my grip and I sliced my finger pretty deep.\n\nBlood gushing everywhere.\n\nI start screaming and crying like a little bitch and flailing my hand not knowing what to do. I splatter that shit all over - I kid you not it got on the floors walls ceiling EVERYWHERE.\n\nAfter that I began seeing stars and literally passed out crumpled up on the floor.", "summary": "Bought 8 bulbs of garlic, do everything the wrong way, cut finger, monsoon of blood, lights out night night"} {"id": "t3_2qkwe3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23 M] gf [19 F] of 3 years has an OKCupid... not what you think. Unsure of how to proceed.", "post": "So my girlfriend is awesome and beautiful and our relationship is great. She's not one to cheat at all, I want to marry her, etc.\n\nI was using her laptop today (we live together) and went to check my email. She was signed on and I went to log her out but I saw a message that caught my eye from OKCupid. Immediately my heart sunk. So many thoughts raced through my head. We didn't meet on there and there wouldn't really be a reason for her to have one. I decided to follow the link to her profile and see what was going on.\n\nThe profile isn't of her. It's definitely *hers* considering it goes to her email, but the girl in the pictures isn't her. The profile itself is generic but sounds like her personality so I thought maybe it was a cover and went to the messages.\n\nShe only replies to the people who are mean to her or \"neg\" her and fucks with them. Literally *all* of her conversations are arguments. No evidence of her ever having replied to someone to do anything but fuck with them.\n\nShould I be bothered by this? I'm really confused. On one hand it makes me inherently uncomfortable that she has an OKCupid account because we're in a long term relationship. On the other hand... I don't think she's cheating. Her account isn't even for our city, it's for a city in another country.", "summary": "Girlfriend has an online dating profile, doesn't seem to be using it for actual online dating and just gets into arguments with assholes on it. Wat?"} {"id": "t3_2v4jyn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How should I [17] approach a girl in my class [18]", "post": "I go to a separate school on saturdays for extra study and preparation for exams. In this school the teacher doesn't know our names and we don't know each others. Almost like a lecture.\n\n3 weeks before christmas, I noticed that this girl keeps looking over at me. She seriously will not stop. It makes me feel uneasy, paranoid and self-conscious. I think about how I look, what I wear and how I sit. I believe I have social anxiety although this is just what I think. I find it very hard to meet new people and I'm very shy, although I am quite loud with the people I am close to.\n\nAnyway, she keeps looking over at me each week, sometimes periodically and sometimes as looking at the board I can see in my peripheral vision that she is facing my direction. I do not think I am paranoid and making it up, in fact a week ago I had to courage/was frustrated enough to actually turn and look at her, and looked straight in her eyes even making her embarrassed. I feel she is looking for attention. After all of this, i found myself somewhat interested in her, she almost seems to play with her hair to get my attention on purpose. I have tried to talk to her on 2 days, but always have been stopped by the fact that she was talking to her friend or by the fact that there are too many people walking in the corridors. Really I think I am making excuses to myself\n\nI've planned on making a remark about her turning around in class when i talk to her (and definitely thought too long about how I'll phrase it).\n\nHow can I get the courage to talk to her and stop making excuses to myself? Is it really best to talk to her or maybe I should ignore this?\n\nMostly I feel bad for her wasting her time. She pays to come to class and does not focus and causes me to also lose concentration\n\nI should also mention that next saturday is valentine's day, if this is relevant at all.\n\nAll comments appreciated", "summary": "There's a girl in my class that stares me out. I barely have the courage to look at her in the eyes. How do I approach her and what should I say... if anything?"} {"id": "t3_2pixoz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24m) have been dating a girl (22f) for a month now and I think she may be celibate.", "post": "Like the title says I've been seeing this girl for a little over a month now and I'm starting to get the feeling that she may be celibate. I know it's still early in the relationship but we will start making out and I'll gently try and escalate things and she shuts me down immediately every time. She stays the night with me occasionally and has often brought up her religious beliefs and how important they are to her during conversations. \n\nNow really it's not a huge deal to me seeing as how I know we don't now each other that well yet. The way she acts though when we kiss is very prudent and combine that with the way she has talked about her religious views I'm getting the vibe she may be celibate. \n\nI'm a rather patient person so I can certainly wait until she feels ready however, I believe that having a good sexual connection with your partner is essential to a healthy relationship so if that isn't ever going to happen then it will most certainly be a deal breaker for me. Our communication is great but I feel like I could be wrong about the whole thing so I worry about offending her if I bring it up. Is there a right way to talk to her about this, or should I just wait and see? Thanks.", "summary": "been seeing this girl for a month, I try to escalate things sexually, she denies me every time and casually talks about her religious beliefs. I think she's celibate."} {"id": "t3_30vgiy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20M] becoming romantically interested in a friend [16F] and dont know what to do.", "post": "I have known her for about 3 years. Became friends with her a year and a half ago. Being introverted and shy around girls it's hard for me to talk to her face to face but we've talked even if it isn't as much as I'd like, we've also gotten to know each other pretty well through messaging.(almost every day)\n\nI have come to like her, but I have no way of telling if she likes me or not. She has made it clear that she thinks I'm amiable, and also noticed me not having as much face to face interaction, but I've made it clear that I'm shy and embarrassed.\n\nI am well aware of the limitations for the age difference at the moment. I'm just so confused at the moment because some times it feels as if she is attracted to me, but that can be my imagination.", "summary": "Romantically becoming interested in a friend, but not knowing what to do, due to being introverted and the age gap."} {"id": "t3_31x70l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18F] boyfriend [19M] is starting to worry me?", "post": "Hello reddit!\nSo, my current boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple of months ever since the end of last semester, when we met. He was in another year-long relationship that he didn't get a chance to end before he confessed how he felt about me. It was a pretty surreal story. This is also my first relationship. \n\nIn any case, when we started dating we had a really, really good time. I felt like whenever I saw him my days brightened up. Then, at one point, right before spring break we had a weird fight (stemmed from a lot of stress that I was feeling and displaced on him...) and he went by a couple of days with weird ambiguity. He told me he'd had a breakdown and felt lonely, and that he needed time to figure himself out. I decided that I was willing to support him on that. We never broke up or took a break or anything.\n\nThen, after spring, things were just weirdly different. He seemed not to care as much about things that were happening in my life, and generally unconcerned with my decisions, but he never stopped talking about his friends, his music, or anything pertaining to him. Our sex life kind of fell in a downward spiral at around that time.\n\nNow, when we hung out yesterday, all he kept doing was questioning everything and attempting to analyze everything in relation to himself and his life. I feel like I function in relation to a role I fulfill for him, rather than as myself. We basically don't even do it anymore, and all the magic seems gone because I feel like he's drifting away. I don't know how to tell him because I'm scared that that's going to make him start questioning things again and doubting everything and analyzing... Which I'm too drained to do. He's scared of draining me, and I don't want to leave him, but it's becoming really hard for me to deal with all of this melodrama that I feel is unnecessary.", "summary": "My boyfriend of two months is drifting out in this larger-than-life existential quest that's draining all of my mental energies, and I don't know how to go about telling him without fueling another breakdown..."} {"id": "t3_2pio46", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17F] with my boyfriend [18M] of 5 months, he isn't motivated and I want to find ways to help and advice to give him", "post": "Hi, so I am currently a senior in high school and my boyfriend of over 5 months is enrolled at our local community college. He slacked off through his high school years and made okay grades; however, he is now in college and is having problems with staying motivated.\n\nHis grades were all good except for his science grade which came out as a D for the final. His next step is transferring to an actual college and he knows that he needs to do better yet still finds himself struggling. He admits that he's lazy and I really want to help him.\n\nI see him as this awesome guy that could do so much and I want to sway him in the right direction but I know that I cannot control someone else. It's just really hard for me to see because I hold such a high standard for myself, and because I work very hard to make good marks. \n\nI want him to realize that this is the real world and that he needs to do better. I want to help him know that he has options and support him. It's really hard to have to see him go through this and it's embarrassing when he isn't doing too well at a community college, and not an actual university.", "summary": "Boyfriend is slacking in community college and I don't know what to say (I'm a little disappointed in him)"} {"id": "t3_3wp98z", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "When do I give up on a girl and how do I get over her?", "post": "25/M I've got a problem. I'm in love with my best friend 25/F, we work together and I want to be with her. I'm a 6'5 250 pound (currently working on that I've lost 120 lbs since May) black dude with no self esteem, 25 still live at home and watches Power Rangers and she's a punk girl with tattoos and piercings. She's my only friend and the only one I can be myself around (she accepts me for me) but it's the friend zone to the max. I have to hear about her ex boyfriends and her sex life. When we go out to a bar she'll literally talk about how she wants to hook up with the bartender.\n\nI feel like it's a one sided friendship sometimes because when we go out for lunch or drinks 90% of the time I end up paying even though I have no money and will literally go negative in my bank account, because if I ask her to go she'll say she has no money and when I say I'll pay she'll go. When we go to her favorite dive bar and she sees one of her friends there she'll invite them or they invite themselves to sit with us and she'll talk to them for the night leaving me as the 3rd wheel. This Friday I gave her $250 worth of vinyl records as a Christmas present and she I think she might have said \"thank you\". Then said she was going record shopping with some guy in the morning. \n\nWithout sounding sappy I've never felt this way about a girl before she treats me like a human being while everyone else in my world and life treats me like crap. I can never tell her how I feel because I feel like she'll never talk to me again and seeing her at work every day when she sits 10 feet away would kill me. I don't know what to do to get over her, I'm going to therapy for that and many other issues and that's not helping. The only time I'm happy is when I'm with her but we never get to hang out because someone or thing will interrupt it. She completes me and I don't know what to do.", "summary": "I'm in love with my best friend, and we'll never be together. I think I should give up on her, but we work together and she's my only friend. How can I do this and still face her everyday?"} {"id": "t3_2aqcad", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What do you guys, especially ladies, think about males wearing pantyhose?", "post": "I'm a 24 year old male, quite good looking, or so I'm told, and I happen to have a huge fetish for pantyhose. I have to mention that I'm %150 straight. \n\nNot sure how it all started, but basically I'm instantly attracted to any woman wearing pantyhose, stockings, leggings, etc. I find them so incredibly sexy, I could literally sit down, have a girl put her legs on my lap and just rub them for hours. It's such a turn on it's ridiculous. I always prefer to have sex while she's wearing stockings or something like that. \n\nHaving such a huge fetish for them, one of my ex girlfriends from years ago told me to try on a pair while we had sex, and I loved it. We were both wearing them, and the feeling the nylon gives when you trace your hands across sensitive areas is amazing. \n\nHaving experienced that, and having such a big fetish for them, I eventually started wearing them to bed every now and then, and when I masturbate. Lightly tracing circles around sensitive areas when wearing them gives an amazing sensation, and I find they just feel awesome in general to wear. Plus they're good to keep warm in the winter, almost like long johns, but not itchy. \n\nI've actually seen one or two males wearing leggings or pantyhose while out in public, but I don't have the audacity to do it myself. Plus I prefer wearing them while sleeping anyways. It helps will leg circulation to! which I have a problem with.", "summary": "This is way longer than I expected. Basically, How do you feel about guys wearing them? do you think it's odd? sexy? strange? "} {"id": "t3_1c4f8z", "subreddit": "self", "title": "I hate group projects.", "post": "I'm doing a programming project for an upper level computer science class. And well, it's the group project from hell.\n\nThe guy who I'm sort of friends with tries to code, but is not a very good coder, and more importantly, is stubborn. Every time I try to help him, he says that it's no problem, he'll just figure it out. Or when he has problems with his IDE, refuses help. He writes crappy code, and also, doesn't have a good enough work ethic to stick with something long enough to iron bugs out.\n\nThen we have another guy who commits code that completely breaks everything. One time I actually caught him copying and pasting code from some blog, without even running it to see if it worked. The last project I just removed his code and told him to test it before committing it, but now its starting to get on my nerves.\n\nWe have 2 guys who are, well, pros. But they are working on their modules in a private repository, which is fine, but the main group repo is shit, and I'm trying to piece it all together on my own. \n\nEveryone else in our group is simply not contributing. It's a group of about 8 people, about half the group is trying to contribute, the rest is fucking everything up or just not contributing. I'll roast everyone in my peer reviews, but all that matters is that the project gets done right now. The kicker is that my group members have something against meeting in person, wanting to just \"divy things up\", but that's not getting shit done right now.\n\nWhat really annoys me is, unlike a business class, or a science class project, etc, if someone fucks up one part, it's not just that one part. You don't just read it and go to the next section. If one person fucks up in a programming project, nothing works. And people keep contributing broken shit. I'm just trying to wade through the broken shit right now. I've done coding projects before, but this one is particularly bad.\n\nNot expecting anything from you guys. Just wanted to vent.", "summary": "Doing a big project. Most of my group is useless, I'm trying to piece it together, but people are stubborn and they don't want to meet. Fuck me right?"} {"id": "t3_3dp0yx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23/F] am not sure where to go with he [24/M] and I's relationship", "post": "So, I've been casually seeing (dating?) this guy, Joe, since December. Back in January, he made it clear that he wasn't looking for a committed relationship because he's \"too busy.\" That's a huge red flag for me because to me that means \"I'm not interested in being committed to YOU.\" But at the time, I was fine with it. I had just started a new job, was in the process of moving into a new place, and had only ended a relationship 6 months prior. He seemed relieved to be on the same page.\n\nFast forward to now. Nearly 8 months later and I'm ready to be in a relationship. We have never done anything besides hang out at his place and have sex. He often tells me he wants to go fishing with me or camping but he's never done anything to make those things happen. He claims to be busy busy busy but I often see pictures of him on Facebook hanging out with his friends (camping, fishing, going to the fair). But then he tells me he likes me a lot and trust me enough to let me sleep at his house while he's not there (he works at 6:45 in the morning).\n\nMy friends think he's using me to his advantage. Keep me around for the sex and security, but that's it. He's never going to want to be in a relationship with me and they think he's made that clear. My question for /r/relationships is, should I bring all this up to him, or should I just end it?", "summary": "I've been casually dating \"Joe\" for nearly 8 months, should I tell him I want a relationship, or end it with him because of previous behaviors?"} {"id": "t3_3ri8kx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my SO [23 F]1 year together, she is going to sleep with another man for the first time since we are together after lots of women.", "post": "Hi,\n\nme and my so live together,we started exprimenting threesome with a friend of hers(a girl) at the beginning of the year.\nWe liked the experience.\n\nLately we started seeing other women (mostly together) and i asked if she liked to try a man. She didnt want to,because she says that there's difference between man and women.\ni always replied that its the same thing(altough i never slept with a man actually..) but i understood, its her choice.\n\nRecently she found a man she likes and i pushed her to continue with him and ,why not,meet him.\n\nShe met him a couple nights ago outside a club we were in,and after my blessing,they kissed!\nI was so happy.\n\nFriday they are gonna be together and possibly have sex the two of them(again i pushed for it)\n\nNow i'm actually happy for all of this,because now we have an open relationship ,and thats the thing i always wanted BUT\n\ni have this irrational fear inside me,so i wanted to ask someone who's been through this and hear what you think\n\nthank you!\n\nsorry for my english ,its my third language :(", "summary": "me and so fell in love, experimented with other women both together and alone,and after pressuring she wants to try with men too,now she is going to and i have a strange feeling,need help"} {"id": "t3_1xex6g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [27M] fiance might leave me [26F] because I can't have children. I don't know what to do.", "post": "I hope this is an ok place to post. I don't have a support network with whom I can talk about things like this and I felt the need to let it out.\n\nToday my fiance informed me that he may break off our engagement due to the fact that I can't have children. We've been together for 7 1/2 years and have known about my inability to have children for almost a year now (he proposed six months ago).\n\nI was quite taken by surprise. I have made peace with the fact that I'm unable to have kids and I thought he had as well. He's never said anything to make me think otherwise until today.\n\nI asked him why having biological children is so important to him and he said it was \"what he thinks is right\". He believes his purpose in life is to create and cultivate more life in order to improve society as a whole. My retort was that he can still improve the next generation through what he gives to an adopted child. He had no response.\n\nNow he's \"still thinking about it\". I feel like I'm trapped in some strange limbo where I don't know if life is going to continue as normal or fall apart completely. Also, there's no way I could afford to live in the city we live in on my own income, so now there's a possibility that I will have to quit my job and move back to my hometown (probably into my mother's house) until I get settled.\n\nI feel like there's nothing I can do. I cannot change the thing that would cause him to leave. All I can do is wait for him to make up his mind. Part of me wants to beg him to stay, but I that doesn't seem like the right thing to do.\n\nI'm writing this because I cannot sleep, I can't stop crying. There's a possibility that he cares for an ideological scenario in his head more than he cares for me, and I don't know how to cope with that. I don't know how to compete with something intangible.", "summary": "Fiance might leave me because I'm infertile. Not sure if I can do anything to save the relationship."} {"id": "t3_1avvks", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Help please, it's date night and we need a spark. Badly.", "post": "I'll try to keep this short and sweet. I'm living with my boyfriend and things are great except we are experiencing a small lull. Well, I am. We have sex all the time but it's not the mind blowy kind. It's not even the kind that I get to finish from all the time. We are finally sitting down for dinner tonight and after he wants to watch a movie. My plan is to pick a movie that will maybe get the blood rushing to those happy places and inspire a little more passion. What I'm asking (begging kindly) is for a good movie suggestion (preferably off netflix but any will do). So if anyone has a suggestion, please let me know! Or if you feel inclined to advice in how I can heat things up in general, feel free!", "summary": "Need a sexy movie suggestion that will get my boyfriend and I a little more inspired to have more sexy....sex. Or any suggestions in general."} {"id": "t3_302yw5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30F] with my BF [30] together for 1 year, living together and share a phone plan, he is using a ton of data and claims its nothing.", "post": "Just as my title says, my bf has been using a lot of data on his phone on the plan we share. I use a good amount, I use apps on my phone like facebook or even language learning. He has no apps. He says he only checks his email or reads sports articles on Yahoo. He is using just as much data as I am somehow. He just shrugged me off and said it's no big deal. I have a feeling he's watching porn and lying about it to me. I don't know how to approach this again. I don't want overages because of his habits. If it's porn, use the laptop. I've looked through his history and it shows maybe one or two pages looked at in a day and yet when I look at the bill it's showing much higher numbers of mbs multiple times a day. What gives? I know the advice is going to say to talk to him but every time I bring it up he says im accusing him or acts like I'm lying about the usage. I've shown him the bills and he says \"I don't know, I don't use my phone for anything\".", "summary": "How can I find out if my bf is lying to me about what hes doing on his phone? I feel like he's lying because the proof is here and he won't tell me anything."} {"id": "t3_2yj3uc", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "Tifu by throwing out a receipt", "post": "Tifu, Well it was about 2 years ago. I work out of town, fly in fly out, and I leave my truck parked out of my apartment. It just so happend that on my days off I do a lot of work for a habitat for humanity type charity and I spent my first 4 days doing house calls ( electrical work) and on my last day before I travel I decided to have a me day, which is akin to playing video games and watching movies all day. The last house call the previous evening I didn't get home until about 10 pm and I decided to leave my tools in the cab of my truck. The next after noon I finally decide to don some pants and get some eats when I discover Someone mistook my truck as a take whatever you want shed and took about $1000 in tools and about another $1500 in stereo equipment. So anyway I go through insurance and get my stereo replaced and my window fixed ( which still cost me $350 as a deductible) with no tools replaced I might add. So any way flash forward to today I get a phone call from the insurance company saying that I never replaced the window, and that the mechanics shop that I took the window to get replace has charged money to them and that I never paid the $350 dollar deductible. So they gave me an ultimatum that I have to produce a 2 year old receipt or I have to pay another $350 dollar deductible.", "summary": "two years ago a my truck was broken into, paid a deductible to get repaired. Two years later the insurance says I never did and told me to produce a receipt or pay another $350 or I get taken to collections"} {"id": "t3_2v7yfc", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "19[M] Reconnecting with primary-school friend 19[F]", "post": "So there's a girl who I went to school with from the ages of 9 to 13 - I would've considered her a friend. We went to different secondary schools after the age of 13, but she never forgot to wish me happy birthday, etc. She messaged me at the age of 16 (2011) asking how my exams went, a conversation which I recently revisited and was subsequently ashamed of how dismissive and unrequiting I was of her incredibly sweet messages - there was a point in the conversation at which she said 'you're clearly not interested', to which I hopelessly insisted I was. I think at this point she was romantically interested, which I detected but was too much of an asshole to requite. \n\nAnyhow, to cut to the chase. The reason I looked at the conversation again was because Facebook's feed algorithm kindly placed something of hers in front of my very eyes. I clicked on her profile and found her Tumblr and Twitter. She's matured into a witty and trendy young lady, and I'd really like to repent for my former mistake and see where things go. How do I go about it? I haven't spoken to her in three years, albeit her birthday wishes, and I don't think she'd be impressed by a Facebook message, nor do I quite know what to say. I'm stuck - she's a really sweet girl and I'd love to get to know her again, but I don't know how to get her back in my life.", "summary": "Girl from primary school, lost contact for a few years, messaged me sweetly to which I was nonchalant, want to get back in touch."} {"id": "t3_12jrd1", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (16/f) need some advice on what to do next with this guy (18/m)", "post": "Okay, well. It's a 'I like this guy, and I don't know if he likes me' type of thing. I'll try to keep it short and sweet.\nI've liked him since last year, and we have gotten a lot closer since this September. At first he would usually text a few words but now he texts a lot more. We text basically every night until 11:30. \nIn June I asked if he liked me and he said he didn't know me that well. In October I asked him again, and if we could ever be more, he said we were really good friends and we would see where things lead us.\nBecause he's in college, we don't really see each other that much anymore. So I ask when he would be able to visit and how it'd be awesome to see him again, and he says that it would be nice to see me.\nOne day we were at a high school soccer game and it was raining. I didn't get there before it starte rainng so the bleachers were wet. He wiped them off for me, no other guy has done that for me.\nWe have a lot in common, and get along easily as well.\nHis sister, a good friend of mine, said that he only really texts me and his best friend. He confirmed it.\nWhat should I do?", "summary": "I like this guy and there are a lot of signs saying he likes me too. Already asked if he liked me and if we could be more, he said that we would see where things lead us."} {"id": "t3_3ean53", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26F] with my fianc\u00e9 [25 M] of 1.5 yrs (together 4). He was electronically cheating the first 2.5 years. Has anyone successfully forgiven?", "post": "We've been engaged 1.5 years, together a total of 4. Our wedding is in two months.\n\nHe recently told me that 2 months before we got engaged he spent a week flirting, sexting, and seeing an acquaintance. They didn't have sex but did physically cheat.\n\nWe've been working through that but today I learned that over the first 2.5 years we dated he was also on plenty of fish and tinder. He mostly emailed and sent photos, had a Skype session, and did hang out with one girl once but nothing happened.\n\nI believe that he's a different person now. That the feelings and relationship we currently have which is so great is genuine. I'm worried that I won't be able to let go of the past before our wedding, am wondering if 'once a cheater, always a cheater', and if anyone in a similar situation has been able to move forward from it.", "summary": "fianc\u00e9 was on dating sites at beginning of relationship and cheated a year ago. Will I be ignorant to still marry him?"} {"id": "t3_162e25", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[20M] Girl[20F] stopped texting me back, need advice please.", "post": "I met a girl online about 3 weeks ago and we exchanged emails about once every 3-4 days. Eventually I asked her for her # and she said to text her sometime. \n\n**Wednesday:**\n\nI sent her a text at about 9pm and we texted until about 1am. She seemed interested and opened up to me a little bit. She didn't respond to my last message that night, and I was really tired so I sent her another message saying I was glad we talked, and I would text her tomorrow. \n\n**Thursday:**\n\nI sent a text at noon and didn't receive a response. I sent another text at 5pm asking if everything was ok, and that I was sorry if I irritated her. She responded and said she was sorry but was busy like always. I sent her a reply and said that it was ok and asked her how her day was. She never responded. Sent her another text saying \"Hey, text me when you're not busy :(\", and left it at that. \n\n**Friday:**\n\nI sent her just a simple \"hey\" and didn't get a response. \n\n**Saturday:**\n\nDidn't text her. \n\n**Sunday(Today):**\n\nI'm afraid I may have 'spooked' her by sending so many texts. Don't know what to do. Haven't sent her anything today.\n\n**Notes:**\n\n-We have not met each other yet in person, and I haven't asked yet either.\n\n-She has said she was busy before in the emails we've exchanged.", "summary": "Met girl online, she gave me her #. We texted back and forth and she doesn't respond now. Hasn't responded to any of my texts in last 2 days."} {"id": "t3_4e9yve", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] broke up with my ex [19 F] after her cheating, pushing me away and being rude.", "post": "I [19 M] broke up with my ex [19 F] after she admitting sleeping with someone else whilst we were both at uni. She had been pushing a bit before and then she had gone off the rails and done that. She even text me 'i love you' that night...\n\nAfter the break up she was rude, blaming me for still having feelings for her. We agreed no contact was the only thing that would help, and even if she agreed she would break down in tears. She would call me when drunk and complain that she was still confused. It would be her shouting at me on the phone, or would be from a friends phone and on speaker with them all talking about me. \n\nThe guy she slept with even sent me messages saying \"there were reasons she cheated\", \"he gave her more in ten minutes than I did in the entire relationship\" (of two years mind), \"and to look at myself and see he is more attractive\". \n\nOverall this made me feel like utter crap. The girl who I loved and still loved at the time was an idiot and threw me in the ground. It's been 4 months, I've blocked her off everything and when at uni I don't ever see her. \n\nI've just lost confidence in myself, I started going to the gym more often and have started to eat healthily. I really wanna look my best. And I honestly feel I was a decent enough boyfriend and nice enough guy to not throw my ex in the floor when I heard. We had such cross over friends at home I didn't want to ruin her life completely. \n\nI need something to help me move on, I've been with some girls but it's only ever been a short term thing. I don't want to relapse (kinda) and fall back for my ex. I'm looking good but not feeling it as it's now getting tense. I know I'm young but as I was in a relationship for so long I sort of crave one again. What's my next step?", "summary": "I [19 M] am over my ex [19 F] but not sure whether I am even after all the terrible experiences."} {"id": "t3_1y7ho5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 F] am concerned about the way things are going with my boyfriend [22 M] of four months", "post": "I've been dating this guy, we'll call him Greg, for about four months. Things started out really, really great (we slept together on the first real date, though we had hung out a few times before--that worried me, but he assured me it wouldn't affect the relationship at all). We clicked insanely well, had tons of similar interests, sense of humor, on and on. He's had a few more long term relationships than me, and a lot more past sexual partners. \n\nThe issue that's arising is that I sometimes get upset about stuff that I feel is rational, like him brushing me off for friends but using the excuse that sometimes we just \"need time off.\" He's also extremely non-receptive to any emotional conversation, whatsoever. It's really difficult to talk to him about stuff upsetting me, because as he puts it, if it doesn't feel logical to him he doesn't see the point in discussing it, because it just reinforces the \"irrational behavior.\" That doesn't seem fair to me. If it's something that's bothering me, even if it seems silly to him, shouldn't he make the effort to help me address it anyways? \n\nAlso, the long and colorful list of past sexual experiences is extremely unnerving to me, as someone who has only had sex with one person before him. How do I get over feeling like I'm just another notch in the bedpost to him? I know that's unfair, but I can't help but worry about that a lot. Thanks Reddit!", "summary": "Concerns about past sexual experiences/failure to communicate well/lack of receptiveness to emotional stress/helppppp!"} {"id": "t3_2ukwt8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] with my 18 [ M]ex-boyfriend of two years, wants to return the things I gave him.", "post": "I'm sorry I can't think straight right now he just texted me and it felt like a knife was stabbed through my chest right now. \" Depressed doll , I wanted to talk about returning your things. \"\n\nMy hands are trembling right now and I'm frozen. I don't know what to tell him. I'm literally crying and trembling after a week of NC. I should be a mature woman about this and handle it with maturity but this broke me apart. I don't know what to tell him. He was the one who broke up with me and I just... I'm the one here having these horrible feelings of confusion and I don't know. I'm so confused and scared and lost and I feel frozen. I don't know what's the right thing to do. It hurts. It hurts. I'm not in the best state of mind and he just messaged me this and I just.\n\nIt really hurts. I'm such a fucking coward I can't bring myself to talk to him. I'm already going to see my therapist tomorrow because of what a wreck I am. Should I even respond? I just. I don't care about the things. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "Ex-boyfriend broke up with me a week ago, NC and now all of a sudden he texted about wanting to return my things and I'm devastated and I'm a sobbing crying mess right now."} {"id": "t3_1dq0v9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I (20M) go over to her house and just confront her (19F)?", "post": "I met this girl a while back where we work. We've been going out at weekly on 'dates' for four weeks (and seeing each other on non-official dates). At the end of our last date (last week), I kissed her (and yes she kissed back), but since then things have been different. \n\nI have asked her to hang out or just generally catch up but each time she's been 'busy'. She hasn't initiated anything herself since then. Yesterday we worked together and really, it was as if nothing was going on between us...we just chatted normally/small talk.\n\nBasically, I am going out of my mind and I do not know whether to just go over to her house and tell her to tell me where she wants to go with this. Then again, I am not sure whether this is a good idea. All I know is I am going out of my mind and it is causing me plenty of anxiety :(.\n\nFurther information: She was in a one-year relationship which ended right before she met me. We're both studying at university.", "summary": "She appears to have been slightly avoiding me since our last date. Not sure whether to just confront her or let it go. I am extremely anxious."} {"id": "t3_1mzid8", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[27M]My wife (26F) keeps bringing it up.", "post": "I love my wife a lot and we get along generally very well. I'm sure she'd be an amazing mother to future children and that we could grow old together as best friends forever. With that said, we are sexually incompatible. \n\nShe is one of the millions of men and women out there that is not opposed to sex, but is disinterested and could do it less than once a month and be fine. I feel like she wants a best friend that she can rely on to help her raise a child; not a lover. We've had 3 or 4 fights regarding my higher libido and desire to be intimate in some way and she always seems to bring up the same thing.\n\n\"Why don't you just find someone better?\" she says in a sad, self-pitying, tone. \n\nShe has used this line in one form or another frequently enough that now I can't help but give it some thought. I've never been surprised with a sexual favor, I'm not allowed to go down on her because she feels uncomfortable, and she doesn't do that for me because she thinks it's gross. When we have sex, it's always the same. I honestly feel like I'm missing out on that part of my life. \n\nYet, I don't want to replace her. If it was possible I'd want to figure out how to get her to fit into that role. I don't want to give up my friend and partner in life over sex, but this issue isn't one that's going away. I know eventually the relationship will be doomed if things don't change. I've already told her that I don't want kids until we figure this out. I know our level of intimacy will just fall further after children; making things even more tense between us. I'd rather not divorce after we had kids or be like my dad who stuck around for 20 years until we were all grown up.\n\nI feel like I'm at the point where I need to challenge her suggestion in order to get things to change for the better. Normally I make a fuss about saying I don't want anyone else, but maybe I shouldn't anymore. Any suggestions on what to do would be really appreciated.", "summary": "Wife tells me I should find someone better than her. I don't want to give up on her, but maybe this time I shouldn't disagree."} {"id": "t3_u718s", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Complex situation, looking for advice on how to deal with it", "post": "Theres a bit of background to this, but ill try to be brief and would appreciate any help i can get. \n\nI am a heterosexual male in a 6 year relationship, both 22 now. We started having sex around 18 and had a good sex life, but outside stresses took their toll and i ended up with rejection and body image issues around 20. We stopped having sex shortly after for unrelated reasons and were not going to again until marraige, which intensified my problems with sex. We went 18 months without having sex, and with little fooling around, until deciding against the previous decision and starting again in the last year. However, similar and unavoidable outside stresses mean that we do so rarely. \n\nThe mentality i have now is that rejection is too debilitating to risk initiating sex myself, which i know to be foolish but which has been reinforced too many times to ignore. She understands this, and takes partial responsibility for it, so we have agreed that only she will initiate sex and she is patient when i have trouble accepting. However, she is dealing with unrelated problems that she has had throughout our relationship, and which make it so that she cannot control when she is feeling sexual or when she is emotionally stable enough to support me, so sex and support are still going to be too rare for me to make emotional progress myself. \n\nMy question is, what can i do to accept that my problems with sex are going to have to be on the back-burner for an unknown amount of time? There is nothing that can be done to change it, and we have agreed that other options would be less emotionally healthy overall, but that doesnt make it any easier to accept.", "summary": "I have significant rejection issues, but my SO wont be in a state to help for a while, stuck in sexually resentful limbo until then"} {"id": "t3_3y847p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20M] have had a deep crush on a friend of mine [20F] for two years. However, she happens to be the ex girlfriend of one of my childhood best friends.", "post": "In the summer of 2013, I [20M] befriended the girlfriend [20F] of my best friend at the time. Let's call him Jeff, and we will call her Eliza. \n\nJeff and I had been best friends all throughout elementary, middle school, and high school. We were like brothers. The friendship between Eliza and I started off as innocent texting , joking, etc. Then we started to hang out. Eventually it got to the point that Eliza and I were going on movie dates, dinner dates, I even met her mom. Not even Jeff had met her mom and they had gone out for 3+ years. All of this went on while Jeff and Eliza were still in a relationship. For the record, Eliza and I never kissed or engaged in any sexual activity. I felt bad about hanging out with my friend's girlfriend, but I respected him enough to not cross that extreme line of betrayal.\n\nI developed a crush on Eliza. I loved everything about her. After a while, she decided to stop talking to me and to make amends with Jeff, they got back together. They broke up shortly thereafter.\n\nFast forward 2 years, to the present: Jeff and I haven't spoken in a long time. Eliza and I still talk here and there. But the thing is, I still have very strong feelings about her. I thought that maybe it was just a temporary infatuation but I was wrong. I constantly think of the possibility of her and I being together. Everything seemed so perfect\u2026 I think about her everyday but I'm too scared about how to confess this to her as I don't know how she will react. Eliza has been single for about a year and a half now.\n\nHow do I tell her my feelings? I want nothing more in life than to make her mine, its just hard overcoming the overwhelming guilt that I feel about losing one of my life long best friends over her.", "summary": "I feel strongly about this girl and at one point I thought we had a real shot at making something happen. But I have never been able to overcome the guilt that she was once my best friends girlfriend."} {"id": "t3_f8fcv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, What would you do?", "post": "I've got a couple of up coming options (I think) One is a full time spot as a certified flight instructor at a Florida Seaplane base. Something that requires me to obtain my CFI rating, which, without borrowing cash from a friend or family member, I can't afford to get in a timely manner, something that would need to actually happen.\n\nOption two: Take a full time spot running the office of said Seaplane base (which I work part time on Fridays and the Weekends as of now) This would give me a pretty steady income which I could pour into flying on my own time but wouldn't give me experience that teaching at the same location would provide. \n\nSo", "summary": "Bum money or get a credit card to coffer the cost of the additional training I need, or Take the office spot and fly on the weekends, working toward my end goal but with a steady stream of income?"} {"id": "t3_3d6fhp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my GF[24/F] of 2 years, not sure where to take the relationship...", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years. We still stay in contact very frequently and are very much in love. The only issue is that we live in separate towns (35 miles apart) which means I can only see her on the weekends, 3/4 times a month.\n\nWe've spoken about her moving to my town (at the moment I can't leave as my dad has recently been diagnosed with cancer). Maybe planned to do so over the next year or two. My girlfriend is currently looking for a new job but is having great difficulty doing so, I suggested maybe she should start looking at jobs in my town but she doesn't yet want to move.\n\nSo I feel like I'm being very selfish as I am feeling quite down and lonely at the moment. A part of me doesn't want her to move as all her friends and family are there and obviously mine are here. As we don't see each other very frequently when we do see one another we spend the time alone together. This is very pleasant, however, because of this we do not spend a lot of time with our friends and often find we are missing out on events as we are in one another's town.\n\nAll advice is appreciated!", "summary": "Currently with girlfriend of 2 years but live in separate towns, I want to be able to see more of her but due to commitments we aren't able to. Not sure how to approach this."} {"id": "t3_1jpstj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[26M] am about to start a relationship for the first time in 5 years with someone[22F] but am hesitant. Looking for advice.", "post": "I'm pretty much perpetually single. I date a lot and have a few short-term flings, but I've only been in one relationship my entire life. I guess closed relationships just don't appeal to me. I'm a relatively young guy who enjoys women immensely...but restricting myself to just one sounds far from ideal. However...after talking to a girl I like very much for 7 months, I realize it's about time to cut things off or move on to the next step...and she definitely wants a relationship and deserves a relationship, so i'm going to give it a shot.\n\nIt's just not how i'm wired though. I know I may be coming off like a huge douche, but men are wired to have multiple sexual partners, not be monogamous. I think i'd be much more interested in a polyamorous relationship, but finding a woman that would be down for that seems next to impossible. I am of the opinion that you can be 100% committed to someone emotionally but still open yourself up to other people physically...but not many people (or at least women) are understanding of that.\n\nI just want to make sure that i'm doing the right thing by committing to this girl. It's obviously not my ideal situation, but i'm doing it for her. Hell maybe it would be good for me to learn how to be a little less selfish and see what relationships are all about...and that's one of the reasons why i'm giving it a shot. It's not that I don't like the girl...i'm crazy about her, I just don't see a closed relationship as something i'd ever be interested in ideally. But hey...relationships are all about give and take and I think I just need to give in this situation.", "summary": "I'm a selfish asshole who wants to be able to sleep with whoever I want and still be in a relationship. Yell at me please."} {"id": "t3_2fajah", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my [21 F] of 5 years, she is on holiday to zante with her best friend and are with a group of 4 guys.", "post": "Okay, First of all this is a throwaway because reasons. \n\nSo My girlfriend of 5 years lets call her Jessica is on holiday with her friend from Uni, Lets call her Becks.\n\n On the second or third day a group of lads check in to the hotel and the girls get talking to them, at first all was fine, I don't mind my girlfriend making friends with men or women its not a problem but I found out this morning that both Jessica and Becks have been with these guys pretty much 24/7 only leaving them to go to sleep* (*Apparently, get to that in a second).\n\n I also found out that Becks had previously left Jessica alone with at least 2 of the guys on one night, I know I cannot blame my girlfriend for her mate leaving her but what she said next didn't quite add up to me, My girlfriend said that when Becks had left her she waited outside the club alone for 20 or so mins before heading back to the hotel and after 10 mins Becks turned up and they went to sleep.\n\nThen my girlfriend then says Becks had gone back to another guys hotel and gone all the way with him and had been there for around an hour..\n\nThis is where things started not to make sense, if Becks had been gone an hour but my girlfriend had only waited 30 where did the other 20-30 mins go?, she says nothing has happened and nothing will happen but my gut says otherwise.\n\nI have no proof of any infidelity and I know it very well could all be in my head, yet my gut instinct is that something has happened.\n\nAny advice or even just telling me I'm being stupid would be very much appreciated.", "summary": "Girlfriend is on holiday with her best friend and has been with a group of guys 99% of the time, Gut instinct points towards something going on."} {"id": "t3_fsazv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Will members of Anonymous get caught for hacking Westboro Baptist Church's site? Would a hypothetical \"Average Hacker Dude\" get caught?", "post": "After reading about Anonymous's hacking of Westboro Baptist's site, I'm wondering some things about server attacks, web security and internet privacy. I studied computer science, but wasn't great at it - I understand SQL injection and exploiting basic web security holes, but I have no idea how \"regular people\" could do \"advanced\" hacking and not get caught! (Note: I don't want to do this, I just want to know. I'm more interested in protecting sites I develop, and protecting my own privacy on the internet :) )\n\nDo you think that WBC people/hired techies will be able to trace the identities or activities of any particular members of Anonymous (to sue the pants off them, as they so obviously want to)? If not, how do hackers of high-profile sites hide their identities when doing the deed?\n\nAs for \"regular people\" hackers - are there any? do they hack from their home network with their home computer? Do they do questionable things from a local public wireless network? do they use TOR and nothing else? do they use handles like \"Acid Burn\" and \"Crash Override\"? Could I, (hypothetically of course) as a reasonably technologically educated yet average girl get away with hacking something big and important, or is there Xtreme Knowledge I'd have to know first?", "summary": "What kind of privacy and networking precautions do hackers take when exploiting high profile sites and doing fancy stuff like DDOSing? Is it likely that individual members of Anonymous will get caught? Can \"average people\" do that stuff?"} {"id": "t3_1tfi9x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Please help me [23 F] let go of my desire to sleep with one of my ex's so I don't destroy everything with my fiance [24 M]", "post": "I've been with my fiance [24 m] for 4 years and we have a daughter that is 2. I love my life with him, but things sexually have been really difficult recently...When this started, about a year and a half ago, I just lost my sex drive. I didn't have any urges to have sex with anyone else until about a month ago, I didn't feel less attractive to him, I really don't know what initially made me lose my sex drive.\n\nI thought I had a handle on my urges for an ex fling of mine until a dream I had last night made me realize how desperate I feel to have sex with my ex. I don't want to go through with it, but I literally cry thinking about how I will never get to be with him again. We knew each other about 6 1/2 years ago and were friends for about a month ending a short while after we had sex one time. I have had feelings for this guy ever since, but it didn't keep me from dating other people. This is just recently resurfaced, my desires for him again, like I said within the last month, however it's only for sex without wanting a relationship. We are still friends and talk on facebook, meeting up randomly with friends occasionally, but he's not in my life a lot. My S/O has no idea about my desires for him and I feel that if I were to try to explain to him how I felt it would destroy him...I want to just forget about all of this but I just can't let it go.\n\nI'm not texting, calling, or pursuing it at all but the fact that I feel so desperate for him is effecting the healing process of my loss of sex drive for my S/O and I don't want anything but to fix things with my fiance.", "summary": "All I'm asking for is for you to tell me why I can't act on my impulses to have sex with an ex fling...I feel so ashamed and guilty right now and I can't get myself to let this go.."} {"id": "t3_4d48qm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Unsure on how to talk to my [25 F] bf [27 M] about his abusive childhood.", "post": "I've been with my bf for about 4 years. A few nights ago he said that I know almost nothing about his childhood. This is because he was physically abused by his parents(mainly his dad) until he moved out so I feel strange bringing it up. He's told me what his dad did to him fairly early into the relationship and so I've never brought up his parents or him growing up and everything I know about his childhood is from him bringing it up.\n\nWe were talking about stupid things that we used to do in school and his abuse came up. He was telling me how he used to play a game with some kids at school where they would rub the metal part of a pen against a desk until it gets hot and then press it against each other and whoever could handle it better won. He said he always won and I asked why and then he said because his father used to put cigarettes out on him. Whenever something like this happens I usually become quiet and change the subject.\n\nI had a good childhood(except for one thing but my parents didn't do it to me) and I have a good relationship with my parents so I can't relate to him on that.", "summary": "Boyfriend wants me to talk about his past more, I'm unsure on how to do address his abuse/childhood tactfully."} {"id": "t3_4a6v31", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20F] slept with my best friends [20F] \"ex\" [23M] and she is upset with me.", "post": "I was at a friend's birthday party last night and as the night died down, I got cozy with my best friend's \"ex\" and we had sex (no strings, just drunken fun). I put it in quotes because they dated for less than a month and SHE dumped him because he was \"too weird and clingy\". She is now in a relationship and has been for almost two years now. \n\nI told her before how I thought he was cute and she even offered to set me up with him at one point, which I guess she now doesn't remember. I actually was so surprised she's reacted the way she is, I had no idea she would be upset. She's now reacting with petty, snarky comments and plays them off as a joke when I call her out on it. It's been less than 24hrs so I'm hoping she'll just get over it and realize how silly she is being. I talked to her this afternoon about it, telling her if she's mad at me it's okay, and I'll leave her alone and give her space. She's reassuring me it's fine and it's just weird for her but she won't let up on calling me a slut/dumb/bitch/etc. We have never had a serious argument (we've been friends for 13 years now) and I'll be damned if it's over a dumb boy neither of us really care about, but I don't like her treating me this way and telling me who I can and cannot have sex with. It's childish. Any advice or different side of view I'm not seeing? Thanks.", "summary": "I thought I had a green light to mess around with my best friends \"ex\" (dated for only a month and she dumped him) and now she's treating me like shit. "} {"id": "t3_22a7hf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21M] best friends [21M & 22F] have just broken up after 4 years. How do I deal with this?", "post": "I have been best friends with these 2 since high school. We are nearing the end college, and I just found out yesterday that they broke up after 4 years. I always thought they would get married. It's also important to mention that they have a 2 year old child together. He wants to get married, but she is realizing that he isn't the best partner for her. She still loves him and has been continuing the relationship for the sake of the baby. There is a lot of pressure from friends and family for them to get married because of the baby and because of the long term relationship they've had. She also doesn't believe that he truly wants to get married. He just says it so they can keep the relationship alive. \n\nI'm torn between these two. I'm not choosing sides, but what am I supposed to do in a situation like this? She came to me, asking for advice and as someone to talk to. I told her I wanted to talk to him about the situation, but before I got the chance to, they broke up the next day. We ended up having a very awkward night out for another friend's birthday going to clubs and bars.\n\nHow am I supposed to support or help them? Help them get through the breakup? Try to get them back together? Not do anything?", "summary": "My best friends have just broken up after a long term relationship. I'm torn. What am I supposed to do?"} {"id": "t3_2n1gf3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf [20 F] and I [22 M] have never successfully had sex before", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for four years in a long distance relationship and we've been attempting sex for about three of those years. Whenever we try to have sex everything goes well right up until the point of insertion, because vaginal sex causes her pretty intense pain. We use personal lubricant and condoms every time and she is usually wet before penetration (I can insert my finger with no problem, though no more than 1 at a time). I don't think I have a particularly huge dong but we really don't have anyone else to compare to.\n\nThis has caused problems with her self esteem since she's convinced herself she's a lousy girlfriend and she thinks she isn't sexy (Which is bullshit. I mean really, dayum girl you fine). She seems comfortable during foreplay but once it comes time for penetration she starts to get anxious.\n\nWhat I need help with: Recently we stopped being long distance and we now actually have time for sex. What can I do to:\n\n* make sex less painful for her?\n\n* help her be comfortable during sex?\n\n* convince her I'm not mad we can't have vaginal intercourse?\n\n* convince her she's absolutely stunning?", "summary": "Vaginal intercourse is painful for my girlfriend and it's caused problems with her self esteem. How can I help her?"} {"id": "t3_1oet1i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Have I [26M] made a huge mistake? Breakup guilt after ending things with [24F] gf", "post": "I broke up with my gf of over one year about 3 weeks ago and I'm racked with guilt and self-doubt. I fear that I have 'chronic-dissatisfaction' and that I'll never be happy. I fear that she may forever be the one I let get away because I refused to grow up.\n\nBackstory: I wanted her from the second I laid eyes on her. She is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. She was visiting a mutual friend in my city. After getting to know her I was pleased to discover that she was smart, motivated, and thoughtful as well. A few drunken encounters turned into a few months of long-distance texting. We started traveling to each other's city and finding destinations to meet up. \n\nThen she got a job in my city. Things get real, we're dating. Then she gets into the educational program of her dreams in our city. She's going to be here for the next three years, at least. It looked like things were really shaping up. \n\nAh, but the fights. They just got worse and worse. Neither of us would be willing to get off the childish merry-go-round of recrimination. It was exhausting. Were we growing apart? Were we getting sick of each other? Was it the stress of school? Did we get bored with everything falling into place? Was it the mind-blowing realization that this could be the woman I marry? I don't really know, but something wasn't right and I didn't stick around to find out what it was. One night we got into another huge fight and I said enough is enough and left. That was it. \n\nI may have acted rashly and not particularly gracefully. I know she's devastated. She begged me not to go. Part of me wants to reach out to her and see if we could work things through, but part of me has too much respect for her to do that, knowing that I may just become dissatisfied and break her heart all over again. If I reach out to her and then break up with her again, am I the scum of the earth? Would it even be possible to make amends?", "summary": "I am the dog that caught the car. I got the girl of my dreams, then broke up with her because things weren't working out. Now I feel guilty and that I'll never be satisfied."} {"id": "t3_404ybw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my best friend [27 F] of 7 years. I live in CA, she lives in France. Do we risk it all for romance?", "post": "Do we give it a shot at the risk of ruining a friendship I cherish with all my heart? Backstory: Sophie and I met 7 years ago when I was a student in France. Since then, she's been one of my closest friends and I love her dearly. We've never slept together, though we're very playful and our jokes are often very blunt with sexual undertones. We laugh. A lot. I'm at complete ease around her. I know we're extremely compatible, and that she would be receptive to the idea of getting romantically involved. \n\nI think my hesitation is this: I'm attracted to Sophie physically, but I find myself sometimes doubting that physical attraction...I'm drawn much more to her personality and our emotional compatibility. Don't get me wrong, she's cute. I'm a good looking guy by most standards. I hate to say that, but this is reddit and I'll come flat out with saying I've never had a problem with attracting pretty women. \n\nI'm starting to feel that this has ultimately worked against me, because I now have this ludicrous fear of \"could I do better?\" Fact of the matter is, I'm sick of searching for the most beautiful, most compatible, smartest, funniest stranger on the planet, when I could be with someone I already love for all the right reasons, even if she's not as high on some arbitrary beauty scale. We're both 27 years old, and while I don't want this to be a question of \"should I settle down?\", I'm at a point in my life where a serious relationship sounds worthwhile. Please random people on the internet, talk some sense into me....Do we give it a shot at the risk of ruining one of the greatest friendships I've ever had?", "summary": "do I date my best friend, make French babies and live happily ever after? Or do I give my 27 year old self some time?"} {"id": "t3_1nsv64", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Business Owners of Reddit: What are the steps needed for starting a small business?", "post": "Not sure if this would be allowed to be here or what context I have to put this to not break any rules, but we'll see.\n\nMy sister, cousin and myself (with the help of her boyfriend too) are trying to start our own home services business.\nThe idea started in early 2009 with my dad who worked as a union laborer and I who was a landscaper at the time wanted to start a family business. No politics or any drama, doing lawn care stuff.\n\nIt actually started off well and was my full time, and his part time job. Long story short and to skip some sadness, he died December 09, after setting up many bids for jobs that would be extremely profitable.\n\nOn and off since, my sister and her boyfriend tried doing random side jobs to see if something would kick-start and it never did. I was more sensible and went back to my roots of auto mechanic.\n\nRecently I quit my terrible job at Firestone and I'm trying to help build a business with them. We all want to make this happen for my dad, and I'm putting as much effort as I can.\n\nWe have done a few jobs, and between us guys we can do painting (interior and exterior) as well as masonry work and carpentry/roofing. We're working on getting insured very soon as I came into this aware it was needed to make this a success.\n\nMy question is not much of anything in particular, just looking for any advice. We're not bums just looking for any easy way. My cousin is a licensed machine operator and my sister boyfriend a union laborer. I turn wrenches. But we all have experience in many trades.\n\nWhat are the proper steps to take next to make this successful? Anything constructive is very appreciated.\nThanks for taking the time to read this.\n\nFor others..", "summary": "Trying to get a family painting/home service business started which us really important to me because I feel like I'm letting my dad down in some way by not keeping his idea alive. Need advice."} {"id": "t3_3vmwk9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] for 3 months, I don't see any rational reason to break up, I'm just unhappy and don't know if its me or her :(", "post": "I'm a freshman in college and I've been dating my girlfriend for almost three months now. We were friends before we started anything, and it felt almost natural for us to be together.\n\nMy problem is, for some reason I'm just not happy in the relationship. She is supportive, kind, trustworthy, gorgeous and very social. A lot of friends told us how great we are together. There is no rational reason for us to break up, she is such an amazing person! I don't know why but I'm just not happy here. I'm very much doubting if I'm not happy with her or if I'm not happy in general, I feel so stupid. What should I do? I don't know how to bring this up with her without hurting her feelings :(", "summary": "No rational reason to end things with my girlfriend, but for some reason I'm just not happy and I don't know if its me that's unhappy in general or its with her. Don't know how to bring this up."} {"id": "t3_3uv4bq", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU when I looked out the window", "post": "So this happened when I was in 3rd grade. \nIt was on my first school camp where we went to Phillip Island in Victoria and stayed 4 nights. The cabin I was in also had 5 other girls and it had a weird layout. When you walked in the door there was a double bed and set of bunk beds to the left and in another section of the room, behind a wall was a second set of bunk beds and a window. \nOne night, one of the girls was closing the curtains when she informed the rest of us there were some creepy teenagers in the hall across from us. Everyone had a look and confirmed it and I was the last person to check. So I duck under the curtain to see about 10 teenagers in balaclavas sitting in a circle in the hall across from us. Some of them have cameras, others have weapons like bats, chains and steel rods. One of the teenagers spots me and all of a sudden three cam corders are pointing directly at me. They all raise their weapons menacingly towards me and one points directly at me. \nI flipped out and told the girls they were coming after us so we all slept in the double bed...all 6 of us. For the rest of our trip we refused to go near the window or the bunk beds on the other side of the wall.", "summary": "Saw creepy teenagers in balaclavas with weapons on camp. They spotted me and the girls I was with had to sleep in one bed for the rest of the trip."} {"id": "t3_tqzja", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hit and Run charge for running over a small chicken wire fence. Please help.", "post": "About a month ago my mom was out driving and accidently took a corner too sharp and rode up on the curb. She noticed she had messed up her car and drove to the nearest spot on the road with lights, turns out it was a bar a few blocks down. She leaves her car and gets a ride to a friends house to deal with it in the morning. Turns out the curb she rode upon had a small chicken wire fence which you couldn't see in the dark and the owners called the police, the police followed the leaking radiator fluid to the parking lot and found my moms car, they towed it and wrote her a few tickets (after coming to my house looking for her, not bothering to tell me she was in an accident after I answered all his questions and asked what it was all about). The DA is now offering a 'deal' wherein my mom agrees to give up her licence, go on probation for 18 months, and do community service to pay or the court fees, this is her first run in with the law and she's actually a bus driver, so she's super safe, very certified, she just made a simple mistake. Is there anything she can realistically do? The attorney she hired is basically a waste. I just want to know, is she really going to lose her licence, she supports four kids with her salary alone, if she does lose it we're all homeless basically, we can barely afford food week to week. I really hope this gets some attention, thanks for reading.", "summary": "My mom hit a chicken wire fence and they're pressing criminal charges and want to take away her licence, will they?"} {"id": "t3_1ml6d8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (24F) having thoughts about my relationship with my Boyfriend (24M) of 8 months. I need help with the transition from our honeymoon to facing new issues bothering me.", "post": "We have been dating seriously for 8 months. We're both working full time in career fields. It has been a very loving relationship and he's the perfect guy. This is our first serious relationship for both of us since entering the real world. \n\nAs mentioned, our honeymoon phase is almost over. Before, I felt like I was in the \"do no wrong\" phase. I was on a pedestal. I understand this phase cannot last forever but the transition is still awkward. I think he is starting to be short with me and see my flaws - it makes me a bit insecure. \n\nOne of the problems I noticed is that our opinions are always different. It can be anything from Syria to general outlook in life. I feel like he thinks he is smarter than me and that my opinion is always wrong. I acknowledge his opinions but (I feel) he never does for me. \n\nAnother problem is that I feel like he doesn't love me as much. He is getting increasingly short with me. I don't know if this is just the natural course of a relationship, but I don't appreciate his attitude towards me when he gets in this mood. I'm a big believer in communication so I've gently reminded him that it wasn't nice when he got in this mood.\n\nI know this all boils down to, \"You need to talk\". But I wanted to gather my thoughts before approaching him. I also wanted to get other's experiences - what to expect in this transition phase and whether this is natural. Again, this is my first \"adult\" relationship where I'm not a carefree student so this is new territory for me.\n \nThank you for reading about my boring relationship :)!", "summary": "Loving boyfriend becoming short with me. Feel he doesn't value my opinion. Need honeymoon phase to real relationship transition advice."} {"id": "t3_3qhays", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23,F] slept with a friend [27,M] that I had been seeing for months, but then he left me the next morning.", "post": "Disclaimer: This is more to get things off my chest than ask for advice.\n\nI had made friends with a guy who I thought was nice and over the course of our 5 month friendship we talked about dating at some point and really seemed to have fun and do stuff together.\n\nThis past Friday night we went and did some Halloween mazes, and I spent the night at his house. This was our first time having sex, being that he said he wants a relationship with me. The next morning around 8ish, he woke me up to tell me that his uncle wanted to spend time with him. So I was okay with that. He said that I could come back later that day and we could hang. Fast forward to later, and he tells me not to come over cause his dad came home from his weekend trip and was sick.\n\nCome Sunday, and there are no texts and calls at all. I sent him texts with no replies no calls back. I go to that bathroom the next night and there's a condom when I wipe! Ivrealize his condom got stuck in me at some point, and he didn't even bother to tell me. I became worried, but I'm on the pill and my period should be this Friday and I've been feeling the usual period symptoms (unless my brain is playing a trick on me and I'm not menstrating come Friday).\n\nThen today I decide to call to see if I can get through with this condom business. He answers the phone with, \"Who's this?\" I quickly lose my nerve and hang up. Then I get a text from his number telling me it's his girlfriend and I should leave him alone he doesn't want me and I quote, my \"stanky, nasty pussy\" anymore.\n\nNow, I currently feel hurt and very dumb. Granted it was only 5 months, and I should be okay come next week, for the moment this feels like he ripped my heart out with his lies, and I can't help but wonder, was anything he told me the truth. I thought I'd feel better typing out my feelings.", "summary": "I had been friends with a guy for months looking to have a relationship, but he completely abandoned me after our first time having sex."} {"id": "t3_12epw7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's one of the worst days you've ever had? I've just had mine.", "post": "I should start by saying, I'm a PhD student, so I have very little money at the moment...or for the next three years.\n\nSo about a month ago, my car engine started making this rhythmic grinding noise, which was really loud when it was idling. I took it to the garage and explained what was happening, I left it with them all day for them to say that's how diesel engines sound. After this happening a further three times, this morning the guy said it could be my timing chain coming loose when my engine heats up but to bring it back tomorrow. Having no idea what a timing chain was, I asked could I continue to drive it and he said yes. I was a bit suspicious cos weird sounds from the engine, generally aren't good. \n\nI went home and got my dad, who had to go to the hospital because they think he may have prostate cancer (I found out this morning cos my mum had to go into work unexpectedly) and he has to have some tests but can't drive afterwards. I took him and on the way back my timing chain snapped and ripped about my engine. My car cost me \u00a32000 a year ago. I'm devastated. My car is worthless cos the engine is destroyed.", "summary": "Guys at a garage didn't believe me, basically cos I'm a girl and it cost me \u00a32000. My dad may have cancer."} {"id": "t3_286i98", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] am falling hard for a crush [18 F] who's halfway across the world right now.", "post": "Backstory: We are both entering college sophomores who met last year at university. We became very good friends and I've had a minor crush on her for a few months. Home from school, we live several hours away from each other in different cities, and she's currently studying abroad overseas. Her roommate and I live in the same county so she came to visit over Easter, we of course continued hanging out at school, and over the summer we've been texting back and forth - me saying she should come back to my city and her saying I should go visit her (after she returns from abroad).\n\nThe issue: my minor crush has been steadily intensifying, especially once summer hit since my job hasn't started yet and I have tons of idle time. I constantly think about our lives together as a couple, certain issues and how we would work through them, how things would change next summer, etc. Meanwhile, I have yet to even ask her out and I don't know if she'll even say yes! On top of that, I haven't actually seen her in about a month.\n\nAm I just crazy? How can I deal with this?", "summary": "I may be falling in love with a good friend from school, even though I haven't seen her recently and don't know if she feels the same way."} {"id": "t3_40syzz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (17M) girlfriend (17F) of 6 months is going to break up with me because of my mom.", "post": "Okay, so this girl is something else and even though i've been dating her for 6 months, it's felt like years. We love each other and planned our future together. We also planned on going to the same college together, she becoming a doctor in zoology and me studying astrophysics/astronomy. We've planned this and marriage after college as well. However, my mother has not liked her since the beginning and I have no clue why. My girlfriend has always been the sweetest and most polite thing ever. She even made them all blankets for Christmas. My mom blames her for everything and treats her like garbage. Everything that I do wrong or I get in trouble for, she blames her. My dad on the other hand, absolutely loves my girlfriend. Because of everything with my mom, my girlfriend cannot take it anymore and has decided that we should separate. My girlfriend has had depression and had/has anxiety and cannot deal with her being the root of all my problems according to my mom. She wishes she could be like me and be strong enough to take it, but she just can't and doesn't want to deal with it anymore. Is there anything we can do to save our relationship? I love her so much and I do not want to lose her all because of my mom.", "summary": "My mother doesn't like my girlfriend so my girlfriend wants to break up with me because she can't and doesn't want to deal with it anymore."} {"id": "t3_3rp0e8", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [22/f] caught my bf [27/m] fapping to my sister", "post": "I've posted here before regarding the fact I caught my bf cheating on me once in the past with a friend at my house when we were all drunk and they thought I was asleep in the next room. We decided to try and fix things from there but I started to snoop on him and found he liked to fap to loads of weird stuff. But what irked me was he fapped to girls Facebook photos. He explained that this is normal and its meaningless. We had a talk about it and I said I was okay with it as long as it wasn't over the girl he cheated with or any of my family members.\n\nWe just had a lovely fifth of November and he bought loads of fireworks. He held my hand while we watched them and he bought me a bunch of sparklers to hold while he sorted each firework out. Then he bought me a takeaway and said I could hang at his for the night. When he went to the bathroom I snooped at his history and yep...in amongst a bunch of porn sites I could see he'd been on my sisters profile. I'm pretty certain he was fapping to her because why else would he look at her pictures in the middle of a fapping session? When he came downstairs I told him I was tired and going home and just rushed straight out. I'm so upset. We had such a lovely night and I finally felt like things were going to be okay. I don't know what to do from here.\n\nIs this normal? What should I do? I am so upset. I think he has a porn addiction. He's not a bad person I think he just has issues.", "summary": "told my bf I was cool with him fapping to people except two including my sister, couldn't help himself. Got Chinese food out of it."} {"id": "t3_da84o", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Home MP3 player for CD aficionado who isn't a techie?", "post": "Visited an old friend, a high school teacher, this weekend. She was fighting a pair of 400-disk CD changers that she had reordered the disks in, and they weren't mechanically working now. I chastised her and told her that we were now in the second decade of the millennium and that MP3 won the war and she should get on board. She's not a tech person at all. She has had Macs in the past, but now owns an XP laptop and desktop and asked for advice on buying a home audio MP3 system.\n\nHere's what I think she needs:\nOnboard disk storage (so neither computer has to be on)\nEasy ripping and automatic ID3 assignment\nSome sort of video-based UI.\nWould be nice if you could control it 'blind' by a remote without looking at the video UI.\nRock-solid stable.\nNot a gazzillion dollars.\n\nI'm comfortable with things like MythTV and LinuxMCE, etc. But she wouldn't be. It should be 'appliance' grade, with nothing to think about. If if needs to be connected to the Internet to rip stuff, that's fine. Wireless support would be nice to reduce cabling. She doesn't have super-fast broadband, so streaming audio and video isn't critical, but Pandora support would be nice if it worked. She has satellite TV and a dedicated DVR, so she doesn't need video library abilities and they'd probably just get in the way of the audio experience.", "summary": "Help me buy a MP3 jukebox for a non-computer-tech audiophile with 800 CDs to manage."} {"id": "t3_mn446", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "any advice? Friends With Benefits.", "post": "So I'm a female (22) and I've been talking to a male (21) for a few months, we have mostly been flirty friends, and for a long time before we kissed or anything we used to text from the time we woke up until the time we went to bed everyday. But it was always kind of implied that we were more than just friends but there were no restrictions and we could/did see other people. Well I've stayed over at his house a few times and vice versa in the past few months, and we maybe talk online 2-3 times a week, just catching up or saying silly things to each other, but nothing else. A few days after the first time we made out he let me know that he didn't want a relationship, which at the time, really hurt my feelings, but now I've realized I don't want to be in a relationship with him either. We have only hooked up a few times, probably 4 times, in the last 2.5 months we have been in the same city.\n\nWhy is this so infrequent? Are we just friends who have hooked up? are we friends with benefits? I feel strange contacting him first, but I really want the hookups to be more frequent. I don't know if it's even worth my time.", "summary": "infrequent hookups with a friend, want more sex. Not sure how to get it without seeming desperate or interested in being his gf. Any advice"} {"id": "t3_2t0vio", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of almost 7 months, best friends since 2012. Posting pictures many think are inappropriate.", "post": "I am male and have been dating a female for 6 months going on 7 here soon. Do you think its unreasonable to not allow my girlfriend to post pictures of her thighs and hips in her underwear or a picture of her upper body in just a bra on an Instagram account with 110 active followers? She thinks of it as her body and she should be allowed to do whatever she wants with it I.E. post pictures of herself where ever. I agree with that completely and all humans should be able to do things like that, I am very with her on that and am a very big humanitarian, but when two people are in a committed relationship I feel it is different however and it should be obvious that you shouldn't be posting pictures of that sort. The bottom line is that it makes me uncomfortable and frustrates me to no end. If I were to let it slide and have her keep it up there for say a couple weeks and i forgot, if I scrolled past it I would go mad and have her delete it. For some reason I think it is different if I am in the picture however, If we posted a picture both shirtless wearing pants and her wearing a bra I wouldn't think much of it because it shows that we are dating. What do you think? Explain.", "summary": "Girlfriend posting revealing pictures boyfriend thinks is inappropriate, has her delete them. Thought? How could I convince her I'm in the right?"} {"id": "t3_1kfdd5", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I ask a girl I'm seeing to be my girlfriend (aka how do I \"ask a girl out\")?", "post": "So I'm a 22/m in college and I've been seeing this 20f for a few months now. We really like each other and we both kind of want to become exclusive and make our relationship official. I've never had a girlfriend before, but at this age, I always thought that after agreeing on the fact that this is something we both want, we just become official. This girl, however, is more or less old fashioned I guess, and insists that I need to \"ask her out\". I have no idea how to go about with this, and what girls expect out of it. Do I just straight up ask her out of the blue one day? Do I take her out on a date and get on one knee or something when I ask? Should I be getting her anything? Flowers, gifts, chocolate? Help!", "summary": "A girl I'm seeing wants me to officially ask her to be my girlfriend before she'll agree to be and I don't know how"} {"id": "t3_4hkp9t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my boyfriend [25M] of 2 and a half years. Our parents (mine in their mid 40's, his in their mid 50's) haven't met yet, and we're not sure if we should facilitate that or let it happen naturally. What do you guys think?", "post": "So, my boyfriend and I have dated for 2 1/2 years. I've met his parents, and he's met mine. We pretty much always lived about 15 minutes away from his parents, so we see him a lot. About a few months ago, my parents moved into the same city, about an hour away. We've brought up having them meet, but we're wondering if that's something you're supposed to facilitate, or if it's less awkward just to let it happen naturally.\n\nWe're both in our first \"serious\" relationship, so we both never had to have parents meet before. They'll probably like each other. They're all nice people, I think. Just don't know if it's more awkward to make it happen or let it happen. They've both expressed an interest in meeting the other before, but since my parents are an hour away, it's not likely that this can happen naturally. So, I'm not really sure if it's best to just wait and let it happen, or what. I guess I am a bit curious, but I don't want to make anything awkward or anything. What do you guys think?", "summary": "Is it awkward to try to facilitate our parents to meet each other, or is it best just to let it happen naturally? Does anybody have any experience with this? I wouldn't mind hearing some parents meeting parents stories :)"} {"id": "t3_32jx4g", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "The thought of you with someone else is killing me... But I know it shouldn't.", "post": "We dated for five years, and we were engaged. I thought that we were going to be able to go the distance, that we'd be together forever, but you changed. You weren't the girl I asked to marry me, so I left. \n\nFast forward a few months, and I'm in a new relationship, and I'm happy... Happier than I've been in a long long time. Then you started texting me.\n\nYou started telling me about your new boyfriend, then how you broke up with him because he wouldn't sleep with you, and now you're telling me about the three guys you're casually sleeping with and hooking up with. You went from sleeping with only me to having slept with 5 different people in a matter of two weeks, and those are just the people I know about.\n\nMe any my new girlfriend have slept together, and I'm happy with her. I don't want to leave her. But the thought of some guy fucking you from behind is just too much for me to handle; it makes me want to curl up and die and I have no idea why. Last night when you told me how you invited a guy over specifically to sit on his face because I refused to cheat with you hurt me more than anything has in a long time.\n\nI know you can do whatever you want, I know I have no right to ask you not to do anything. I wish you wouldn't tell me, but at the same time, my imagination is just as bad. \n\nI don't know what to do, I don't know how to escape this.", "summary": "I broke up with my fianc\u00e9, and now have a new gf, but my ex is texting me about her new fuckbuddies and it bothers me and idk why"} {"id": "t3_umjnl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend doesn't want to do anything sexually, what do I do?", "post": "Me and my girlfriend are both 16, and have been dating for about 8 months. I know we're young, and chances are the answers are going to say \"you're too young, blah blah blah\", but here it goes.\n\nIn the relationship there is has only been one major issue, doing sexual things. At first, she was perfectly fine with it. But further into the relationship she has said she feels guilty after doing it. So we stopped, and that isn't the problem. I don't care so much about not getting some, I love the girl and if she doesn't want to that's fine.\n\nThe thing that gets to me is in her past, she has hooked up with guys(boyfriend or not) and done those things. In fact, before we dated but I still had feelings for her I witnessed her hooking up with a guy. \n\nNow I don't want to break up with her over this at all. I just don't know how to get over the fact she did this with other guys but not with me. It just hurts me to think she won't do sexual things with me but she will with guys she wasn't even dating. \n\nSo my main question is, how do I get over her being a prude with me but not anyone else? Every time this topic comes up between me and her I can see her hooking up with that other guy.", "summary": "girlfriend is a prude in our 8 month relationship, but not in the past. Past hookups bother me and I don't know how to do with it."} {"id": "t3_4o3iv1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "i [24 M] am not romaticly interrested in my friend [22 F]. she started seeing someone and i feel super jealous and want to ruin it.", "post": "I meet this girl at a party last year and we sorta just connected. She seemed like a nice girl so i got her number and we started talked. We really had nothing in common, but could still talk hours on end. For the last year we have been talking a couple times a week. In that year i have dated 2 girls, both i meet through her. Shes my opposite, nothing in common, but for some reason we still connect. We both pretty early on knew that we wouldn't ever be involved romantically. Which might have taken our friendship to a place it wouldn't otherwise have been. \n\nRecently she started going out with this guy she meet online. She seems really happy when i talk to her and i am happy for her, but heres my problem. I feel super jealous. We talk less, which is getting to my head, and i am starting to get mad at her for no reason. Shes my friend, i should feel happy for her, but instead i am thinking of way to ruin their relation ship. Like what the fuck is wrong with me. Shes been dating for a while now, and i was helping her giving her tips all along the way, and then when she finally finds someone i want to ruin it?? \n\nI never really saw my self as a jealous person, but i guess i know better now. \nWhat do i do to get rid of this. I should be happy for her, like she was happy for me when i was with someone. How do i stop feeling jealous? I am not really sure jealous is even the right word to use here.", "summary": "Friend i have no romantic interest in started dating a guy. I should be happy for her, but instead i feel jealous and want to ruin their their relationship. How do i get rid of these selfish feelings and feel happy for her."} {"id": "t3_zfj2o", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How can I get a relatively sensitive issue through to a sibling?", "post": "Now this might sound like a joke but it is honestly quite an issue, I have a little brother who seems to have a bit of an odour problem only it isn't a simple body odour problem, I'm quite sure he has a very smelly umm... rear. I have another sibling that bothers him about everything constantly so if I try to tell him something or give him advice he usually gets really mad and chalks it up as me bullying him like my other sibling. Now he isn't the most hygienic person, in the summer he really only showered every few days when he had to and has terrible oral hygiene but, now that school is back in he is clean once again (thank god) yet his smelly bottom is still an issue. I love hanging out with my brother but honestly everytime he hangs out in my room he leaves behind an absolutely rancid smell, somewhat of a mixture of sweat and poop, not just in the air but my chair that he sits in literally smells like shit after he gets up. I have tried to tell him but like I said before he thinks I am just making fun of him, he just started high school and even telling him that girls don't like smelly guys has no affect. This is in no way a joke but I have to make it clear it smells like shit.", "summary": "My little brother has a *really* smelly bottom and I can't get it through to him even though I try to tell him in a nice way. How can I get my message through to him?"} {"id": "t3_32gcyn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29M] with my [27F] girlfriend, reevaluating past events in light of history of sexual assault [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description", "post": "Hi Reddit! I previously posted about having caught my girlfriend in several small lies. I was bothered by the fact that she had not \"come clean\" in either instance, and had instead remained fairly adamant that she was telling the truth until she was more-or-less cornered. That left me feeling very uncertain about what I could and couldn't trust. \n\nI initially posted on Reddit because I wasn't sure how her past history, which includes alcohol- and substance-abusing parents, abusive ex-boyfriends, and sexual assault, was factoring into everything. The general consensus seemed to be that I should break things off in order to prioritize my health and well-being. \n\nAlong that vein, my girlfriend and I had a very lengthy conversation about the relationship last night. During that talk, she spoke about her prior sexual assault (which she had not previously opened up about) in greater detail, and knowing what she went through, how she processed the emotions, some of the difficult situations she's faced since then, etc. really helped put some aspects of her dishonestly in perspective for me.\n\nWhile I maintain that dishonesty is unacceptable in a loving, trusting relationship, I am now more torn than ever about how to proceed. I had planned to break things off with my girlfriend yesterday night, but I couldn't bring myself to do that when she was sitting in front of me bawling, and recounting a very painful memory of being sexually assaulted. In addition, I feel like I can now understand WHY she might have lied in at least one instance. At the same time, I recognize that her issues are not necessarily my issues, and that I can't necessarily \"help\" her process them and come to terms with them.\n\nDo you think I would be better off ending the relationship? Or do you think I should give her another chance, given that she was brave and honest enough to share a very painful past experience with me to help put her dishonesty in context?", "summary": "had planned to break up with girlfriend given inability to accept her dishonesty, but instead had a long talk about her history of sexual assault, which helps clarify why she behaved as she did. Unclear where to go from here."} {"id": "t3_p54mk", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "older guy, newly single me, what to do?", "post": "hello r/dating_advice! \n\ni am feeling a little confused. i'm female, 25, and have been single for approximately 3 months after ending a rather serious 3 year relationship. in a delightful drunken night out with the girls, i met a cute, european scientist who works at a fancy university in town. i gave him my number. he texted the next day, and we had a great date over coffee. he's really smart and makes me laugh (even if his english isn't always too great-idioms are a bitch after all). had a second date, i find out he's about 40 and on a third post-doc. and continue to dig (neurotic brain kicks in) and find out that he's never been married nor does he have kids. fine. i told him my situation (newly single, wanting to date, take things slow, etc). he seemed cool with it. he walked me to the nearest public transportation and kissed me on the cheek at the end of the date (so gentlemanly!). we've continued to text, almost daily. most of it relating to science (i work in a lab) and food and fun. we have a date planned for thursday, and he is leaving for a few weeks over the weekend. the thing is: i know this isn't going to be a long term thing, but i like him and want to see where it goes. i'm also really missing sex. a lot. having it regularly for three years, and then no male contact is creating some serious withdrawl and is making my brain go to mush. i'm debating whether or not i should sleep with him, even though he's old and i'm not super experienced (two partners, both in the context of long term relationships) and i'm worried about getting attached. what do you think i should do?", "summary": "i'm young, newly single, and worried about getting attached. he's significantly older. not sure if i should sleep with him. need advice."} {"id": "t3_3cgna2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] Casually seeing [19/F] for 2 months, need help talking to her about next steps.", "post": "Been casually dating this girl for just over 2 months, everything is going reasonably well, she calls me everyday and we see each other once a week minimum, sometimes 2. \n\nI'm at a kind of sticking point now where I want to ask her where our \"relationship\" is going but at the same time I kind of feel doomed because when asked if we were together recently by a coworker she simply responded with a flat no. I'm not at all upset by this because, until I ask her, that answer is just the truth but at the same time it feels like she disregarded that we were dating. This brings up my first question, if you're casually dating someone but get asked if you're \"together\" how do you respond?\n\nAlso I should note we haven't had sex yet which I doesn't bug me that much, but I want to know, would you consider asking a girl to see you exclusively if you weren't already having sex?", "summary": "Want to ask this girl how she feels about me and possible exclusivity but am still gauging how she feels about me and not quite sure how to go about it."} {"id": "t3_2hrqwi", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Need career advice! Help me, Reddit!!", "post": "Ok so I've been in retail for 10 years, it's all I know at age 26. I've worked customer service and/or commission sales. I'm stellar at it. \n\nI've never known what to do with my life, so I've just stayed in retail. I'm really burnt out and have had a handful of weekends and holidays per year off. I have an AA in Liberal Arts, but I never went any further with my education because I didn't know what to do.\n\nA few months ago, the company I was working for went out of business, I lost my commission job of 3 years making roughly $40,000. \n\nI took the opportunity to really contemplate my future. I finally figured it out. Healthcare! I can't handle blood, vomit, etc, but I love helping people and have always wanted something clerical/administrative. A friend in Phoenix offered me a place to stay, so I packed up and moved across the country to start fresh. There're a lot of healthcare opportunities here. \n\nTo get on my feet and off of unemployment, I took a retail management position (at a $10,000 pay cut) until I could find something better, it's all I could find. I planned to maybe go to school, working my way through. \n\nHere's the problem, this job I took? It's awful. My boss is straight up abusive, it started fine, but I get yelled at everyday. I see now why there was an opening. I HAVE to get out. Like now. I'm scared to pick up another job just like it, but all I can find in healthcare is $8/hr filing jobs and such. I need something that pays to jump start my career without office experience, but excellent people skills, account management, and a quick learner.", "summary": "How do I break into the office/clerical/hr/administrative field with no office experience? How can I make a speedy career change (as in this year) without a degree?"} {"id": "t3_1dj9oa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [f17] made my boyfriend [m19] think that I want to have sex with other guys.", "post": "I asked him if he ever felt like he wanted to try out sex with other people. I just feel so awful, I dont want to have sex with other people I was just wondering if he ever thought about it. I have fantasies, sure, but cheating for me is just out of the question. Ive been hurt like that too many times to stoop that low. \n\nme and him are fairly young and have been together for 2 years, is it reasonable to have fantasies about other guys? I would feel ridiculously uncomfortable if I ever even attempted to have sex with another guy for real. \n\nIs there any way I can fix this? Have I given him no other choice but to break up with me? I really don't want it to end like this, I dont want to break up with him, I still love him more than anything.", "summary": "asked my boyfriend if he ever thought about having sex with other people, now he thinks that Im considering fucking other guys in real life, when its really just fantasies"} {"id": "t3_1acumc", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "we are broken up im [24m] shes [25f] is it inappropriate to do this?", "post": "hey everyone, i just made this throwaway (first time) and i dont usually post much. basically, my ex and i broke up in january (together for 2 years) and remained in touch for a few weeks after that because it was hard. but then we started doing the space thing. few weeks after that we saw each other again at a party and it got complicated when we got drunk. we spoke after that, but then gave each other space again. so we're looking at about 2-3 weeks since the last time we saw each other.\n\nthe reason i'm here is because she's in a show and her last performance is tomorrow night. ive always supported her and i wanted to be there for her, but we arent together. it took a lot for me not to text her good luck and all that. but i got a ticket for the last show tomorrow night. i was wondering whether it would be awkward to buy flowers and give them to the box office to give to her anonymously? i spoke with the box office and they said it's cool, so i'm really just wondering what you guys think of it?\n\ni'm not trying to win her back with it, but i know this is her most important performance to date and i just want her to feel special. i wouldn't have my name or anything attached to it and i'm leaving after the show ends (not waiting around for her to come out) \n\nof course i'd love to get back together, but that's if and only we both feel ready at some point. it's been too soon, but i still support her. so, is this okay to do? good or bad? hit me with the criticism please.", "summary": "broke up in january 2 year relationship, shes in a big show saturday and i wanted to get her flowers anonymously. good or bad?"} {"id": "t3_1yva0k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (23f) with ex (23m) and on the fence with whether or not to join him.", "post": "We broke up in September and went NC for a month then from November-December we spent the holiday breaks together. During the time we weren't talking he took a girl to a wedding and on a couple of other dates. However, nothing came of the dates and she friend zoned him.\n\nNow spring break is here and it's gonna be one big party. Everyone he knows, all week, in one house. He invited me in November. Now just two weeks ago he informed me he invited the same chick from the wedding assuring me she friend zoned him and nothing is gonna happen between them. \n\nNow I didn't have a problem with it when he told me because we still aren't together so I can't be mad about other relations he is involved in. I just lately have been rethinking it and I am starting to convince myself not to go. I don't know if I would be comfortable around someone I knew he tried to pursue.", "summary": "spring break is coming up and I'm invited to party with an ex but he's inviting an ex interest who friend zoned him. Should I go still?"} {"id": "t3_1v4sei", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my boyfriend [25 M] for 2 years, didn't do too much for our two years. Am disappointed. How can I view this situation from a fair perspective?", "post": "Hello. \n\nI'm 24 [m] with my boyfriend. Leading up to our 2 years was pretty awesome. It's the longest relationship I've ever had and I am generally happy with my 25 y/o bf. He has a lot of quirks that I can't tolerate well at this time. He has a lot of good qualities that will benefit him greatly in most aspects of his life. He views the world from a more clinical perspective, null & void of the emotion that I'd rather be there, and plans **everything**!\n\nMy issue a lot is that sometimes I don't want to hear clinical advice about **our** relationship. I tend to be more free spirited and emotional than him. I'm also more spontaneous and don't particularly like to plan hang outs with any friend (SO or not) too far in advance. I'm ok with just doing something and seeing how it turns out. \n\nI get we're different. Being different's good in a relationship. I just wish we were more bit more similar. \n\nLong story short, we did nothing for the day of our 2 year anniversary. I'm cheesy to the point that it means something to me to do something special on a milestone like an anniversary.\n\n**Anniversary plans**: We were going to go biking, but rain canceled that. I suggested we go to Monterrey Bay Aquarium. He didn't want to due to having no plan. I understand where he was coming from. As a result, I was feeling somewhat defeated that he wasn't too excited to conjure up any different plans.", "summary": "I was being a bitch about our anniversary. I understand his side and know my side as well. Am I justified to feel bummed?"} {"id": "t3_16o0qz", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "I've got a question regarding holding on to some things. Should I throw these away?", "post": "So my ex, a 23 year old girl, and myself, a guy of the same age, broke up months ago. I'm talking mooonths ago. Holy shit, I just counted and its actually been 8 months.\n\nAnyway, getting to the point. I recently moved to a different city, and found a box containing a ton of old stuff. It was a bunch of mementos from everyone ranging from birthday cards from relatives/friends to newspaper clippings and ticket stubs.\n\nAmong these relics, however, I found a damn gold mine of pictures of her and us together (senior prom, too) and a couple hand-made cards/letters she made me. She used to do that a lot, since we were long-distance for a while. \n\nAnyway, they're really sentimental and I feel like throwing them away would be wrong. However, we're not together anymore and we don't even talk. She was a huge part of my life for a long time and we were together for almost 5 years.\n\nShould I throw these things away, and is holding on to these items holding me back from \"moving on\" completely? I've seen and been with a few other women, and I've moved on after the break-up. She's moved on as well.", "summary": "should I throw away mementos of my past relationship, and would I be a weirdo if I held on to them?"} {"id": "t3_3jlkx8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [26F] of 1 year, snooped on her laptop and I suspect she may still have feelings for ex.", "post": "My GF was showering while I was on her laptop, so for some reason I snooped, I am not proud of it but I did. Backstory: She dated this very abusive guy for 6 years from the age of 16-22. He would degrade her, ruin her self-esteem, cheat on her and tell her, but for some reason she stayed with him for 6 years. She told me she was completely over him after their nasty breakup. Anyways on her history I found out that she regularly searches him up on facebook and about a month before we dated she was helping him with resumes and stuff and calling him my love in the emails. Is this a red flag? Is it possible she may still have feelings for him? How do I bring this up?", "summary": "I think gf may still harbour feelings for ex, still called him my love right before we dated, and regularly searches him on FB"} {"id": "t3_2li048", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my ex-girlfriend [20 F] of 2.5 years. Bought her concert tickets for her birthday a few weeks ago, but we went separate ways. Concert is coming up, what to do?", "post": "My girlfriend and I broke up around the 20th of October, she said she had fallen out of love and wasn't feeling it anymore, but also said things like I offer the world and have the biggest heart and I'm an awesome person, etc. She seems very confused about commitment, and has broken up with me 2-3 times for durations of about 3 weeks or so during our 2.5 years. \n \nThis time she said that she thinks we have issues as individuals that are holding our relationship back and thinks we need to be alone to deal with them. Now those times didn't bother me because she does have a lot going on and we normally have found out how to work things out before. There was no huge fight or animosity or anything it was kind of just solemn.\n \nThis breakup feels different though. We haven't talked in about a week now, the longest since we have been together. I bought her tickets to a band we both like a few weeks before the breakup and gave them to her as an early birthday present. Her birthday is this weekend and the concert is early next week. Not having talked to her, how should I initiate if she would still like to go to the show with me? Or should I wait for her? Write a letter? Send a text? Not sure how to navigate this, and have hopes of getting back together with her and she basically said \"If its meant to be its meant to be.\" Citing she doesn't feel like she can give me her all and wants me to enjoy my college experience and not feel like she's holding me back. \n \nI'm not sure if it's wise to try to go to the concert just yet or let things be for a few months before talking to her again. Your opinions are appreciated.", "summary": "Girlfriend broke up with me, bought her a pair of tickets to a concert for her birthday, concert and birthday is coming up, how to handle both dates?"} {"id": "t3_2ltdab", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[30/M] My SO [26/F] is beginning a new lifestyle that I am excited about! I just need some advice from people to see what I should do.", "post": "Hello everyone!:)) I have been a long time reddit lurker & I am now happy to say that my wife is willing to explore the world of having multiple female partners. I have a question regarding what I would call our new relationship.\n\n**background:** She has always been bisexual. Since we are both happily married and I trust her very much, we both decided to have her go out and explore her bisexuality. She really wants to date other women. I am a monogamous person at heart, and only want what is best for her. She does not want to date other men since she already has me.\nI recently heard of the term \"unicorn\" and \"unicorn hunting\" but I just want to clarify that I will not be part of this lifestyle. This is her own secondary relationship to keep herself happy and exhilarated with the beauty of the female body.\n\nIs this wrong? Are we \"unicorn hunters\" if I am not part of this? What would we call my wife's lifestyle?", "summary": "Wife is going to go out and find women to date. I love the idea of her having secondary relationships with women (*not* men.) Is this wrong or is this \"unicorn hunting?\""} {"id": "t3_k8ggw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ways to ease the pain of letting a guy know a girl doesn't like him back?", "post": "First, I'm asking this for my friend. This is not my situation. Also, she and the guy never dated, but I wasn't sure of which subreddit in which to post this. I'm sorry, I'm still relatively unfamiliar with reddit. *cringes at the prospect of downvotes*\nShe liked a guy, but she ended up not liking after finding out that he has a HUGE crush on her. She wishes to know how to break it to him without hurting him too much. (I do not believe that he knew that she used to like him). He also gave her an itunes gift card just this evening. They've known each other for about three years, but she never really got to know him until the last few days of summer break. He's a freshman and she's a sophomore (in high school).", "summary": "This is for my friend. She likes a guy. She stops liking the guy when she finds out he has a major crush on her. Advice on what she should say to let him know she's not interested?"} {"id": "t3_t2lme", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Repost from Wlswhere: Reddit I have a legal question and I really need help on this one. Brother in trouble.", "post": "Hey gang, So my beloved older brother has had a little trouble getting his life off the ground. He graduated college a couple years ago, and he's employed but he hates his job and desperately wants to move out of my parents house. Anyway, last weekend he was driving through NH with his buddy, smoking weed in his car, and he got stopped for speeding. The cop searched the car and found a couple grams of weed. So he's got a court date in June. So he wants to know what his prospects are. He really does not want this to appear on his permanent record, and obviously if he could afford an fancy lawyer, this would not even be an issue. So the question is, does he absolutely need a lawyer? Or is there might he be able to go to court and get a slap on the wrist without any permanent damage to his record? He's really strapped for cash. He's also never had any series infractions before. A few speeding tickets, but that's it. What should he do?\nThank you in advance. He called me for advice, and I had no idea what to tell him, but I said that I'd ask you people. He's unfamiliar with the wonders of Reddit.", "summary": "NH cops found weed in brothers car. He was speeding. He doesn't want a record. Does he need a lawyer?"} {"id": "t3_2holhm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [M20] dating a bi-sexual girl [F20]. If she thinks it's okay to have girls spend the night with her, would it be the same if I had a girl spend the night?", "post": "My girlfriend gets very sad when she hears that I have a hard time trusting her when she's drinking or has her friends over. She still lives with her dad, and he doesn't care when she has girls over because he doesn't know her sexuality, so she can have a gaggle of women over at any time. She has also said she's kissed some girls that she's had over in the past. I still see kissing as cheating.\n\nMy only friends currently are girls, because I'm sort of feminine myself I guess. My girlfriend gets jealous when she sees somebody talk to me or give me their phone number. So if I wanted to have somebody come over to my place, she would likely get suspicious. I'd probably be dumped if I had another girl spend the night, even without sexual intent. Am I wrong in having women stay the night when she also has women stay the night? It feels like the same thing to me, but I'm new to this non-hetero stuff, so I am unsure.", "summary": "As title states, am I in the right if, as a straight male, I have a girl stay the night when my bi-sexual girlfriend has girls stay the night as well?"} {"id": "t3_34ssos", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [22M] of almost 2 years, is getting really bummed out and upset that I [21F] like to sleep.", "post": "I have been in my relationship for almost 2 years now.\nWe don't fight or argue and very rarely will we disagree on something.\nLately, he's been getting rather bummed out that I will sleep for an unhealthy amount and will miss out on most of the day or will skip out on activities with my boyfriend because I can't stay awake.\n\nI have a severe depression that I have to control with anti-depressants. I'm always tired or run-down when I forget to take my medication, which leads to me over sleeping. Also, I'm not the most social person on the planet.\nI don't have many friends I can hang out with on a regular basis, which leads me to stay at home a lot of the time.\n\nI've always had a thing with sleep and I've always been bad with timing things out when I'm awake.\nIt used to make my ex furious that I'd sleep in so long and miss out on hanging out with him, I don't want the same to happen with my current boyfriend, although I don't think he'd go to the extreme of getting furious.\n\nHow do I go about fixing things?\nHow do I start getting a better sleep schedule?\nI have alarms on my phone, set at the highest volume but I usually end up turning them off in my sleep? I don't know.\n\nPlease give me some tips and tricks to staying awake and getting my life back on track!", "summary": "I sleep too much and end up missing most of the day when I could be spending more time with my bf of almost 2 years. How do I go about fixing this problem of mine?"} {"id": "t3_2hayo4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "18 F and 18 M so of 3yrs. I get upset when he's playing video games w/ his friends and I'm in the room. I feel unjustly selfish and don't know what to do about it.", "post": "This issue has been going on for a while now in many different circumstances. But I'll focus on what happened yesterday.\n\nMy SO and I were having a good time together at this small event we were helping with at our university, and at the end of the night him and I as well as his roommate and another friend stayed a while to talk outside after the event was over.\n\nWe decided go back to his and his roomates dorm where I decided i'd do my homework in his room, while the roommate and the friend worked on their own assignment. My boyfriend was just doing his own thing playing video games which is eh fine by me. Eventually a group of his friends show up and they all want to play smash and so they start playing and don't stop until I have to leave at 12 which is when my SO drops me off at my dorm.\n\nThe thing is that while they were playing I was on his bed doing my homework, I felt marginalized by him because he didn't give me the attention that I thought he would give me. So I became upset and just kind shut in the whole time I was there .\n\nIn all honesty I'm aware of how petty and childish and even clingy (the thing I'm most scared of being) it is to feel that way when I was supposed to be doing homework and he was just having fun with his friends. What I want is to not feel upset when he's having fun with other people and I am also there. How do I do that? Or what's a better way to approach this?\n\nPerhaps what I'm asking advice for this is less relationships advice and more advice about the self: how to get out my victimized perception of things to be able to take part in group settings and conversation with my bf (because I tend to shut in and stop speaking when upset like that)\n\nAlso should I tell him about this? Once when I brought something very similar up he said he really didn't think it was something to make a big deal out of and that sort of stops me from telling him.", "summary": "Got upset while bf was playing video games with friends and I was in the room. What do I do to stop from getting or being upset?"} {"id": "t3_xq8lu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "iPad Stolen. Any help?", "post": "My iPad was stolen while I was at work yesterday. I work in a mall so anyone could have it. I filed a police report and they won't do anything. Called Apple and they can't tell me if my devices serial number has been registered to a new account. It still hasn't shown up on iCloud locator either. First world problems I know, but I got that for my one year anniversary from my gal and it cheeses me off that while I work hard for everything I have some shit head robbed me and no one so far is helping bring him to justice. Any suggestions or help would be enter ally appreciated.", "summary": "Stolen iPad, Apple and Police are useless, hoping a computer genius can help me track it down and get it back."} {"id": "t3_2w9fbz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20F] have this huge crush on my coworker [28M]. Is it ever going to lead to anything?", "post": "So this is a highly undramatic post. Anyways, I'm a 20 year old girl and I have a part time job at a gas station. I love it there, and my coworkers are amazing. Especially a guy I'm calling Jack. \n\nHe is without a doubt, one of the funniest, most interesting people I talk to when we're on shift together. We share a lot of common interests, such as table top gaming, computers, and anime. He chats with me about school (I'm in my second year of university). He's just here working because he can't find a job yet with his degree. If the shift is dead, we just talk about our childhoods and other things in our daily lives.\n\nI've worked with him for the last six months, and I'm literally crushing on him so badly, I can't think. We text outside of work, grabbed coffee together, and are tentatively making plans to meet up at a convention later in the year. He just moved to the area where my university is, and asked me to give him a tour. He once jokingly asked if I thought he was sexy in his new work pants. I'm shamelessly into this guy... And he's pretty damn cute I think.\n\nI wouldn't mind dating him, actually, I'd love it. And I know our company's policy on dating is alright so long as there's no \"power imbalances\" (such as a salesperson dating a manager). But I guess the age difference kind of worries me. Am I being stupid for crushing on an older guy who might very well see me as a little sister? If he would return my feelings, does that speak volumes of things wrong with him because I'm 8 years younger? We worked valentine's day together at our store and we chatted about past relationships and he said that he's kind of stopped trying to get into a relationship all the time. He also stepped up and told a guy to leave me alone when I was being harassed by a customer. I don't know, but I really adore him. \n\nShould I even try to be more direct with my romantic inclinations or will it literally be a waste of time?", "summary": "I have a crush on a coworker who is 8 years older. Am I wasting my time trying to get his attention?"} {"id": "t3_3xe5eu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've been [22F] with my girlfriend [24F] for a year, she's an extrovert, I'm an introvert, how to proceed?", "post": "Thus far, things have been very good, but throughout our relationship she was cutting a lot of old friends that didn't treat her the best, so now she doesn't have anyone to hang out with.\n\nOver time that's wore on her, I can't tell she's much more unhappy, and while she's looking for new friends right now, I started to wonder, for anyone with some experience here- is it better to force myself to go out more? Or is it better to let her go out mostly by herself to get that part of life that she needs? (My only fear there is that it could distance us too much, but I would enjoy that solitude once in a while)\n\nWhat's a girl to do?", "summary": "She's an introvert with no friends, do I force myself out with her more or let her find what she needs on her own?"} {"id": "t3_4hk7un", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "[CA] leasing or purchasing a car for lyft and or uber", "post": "I[M, 21] am a full time college student. Currently only have a motorcycle. Was looking at uber lease program but researching there are many restrictions. \n\nI have not checked my credit in about give or take 6 months, last time it was in the 670 range. I have paid off a bank loan and maintained my credit. Is it realistic to lease a car for rainy days and pay off bills. \n\nNot paying rent, just various bills that don't pass 300 a month total. So I am thinking of leasing a car, probably not from uber or lyft, and drive enough to just pay my bills.\n\nIt is also my understanding to apply as a driver for uber and or lyft ahead of time so I don't get stuck with car payments and I don't pass background checks for whatever reason.", "summary": "full time student, realistic to lease car for uber and or lyft to make enough to cover payments and approximately $300 in monthly bills?"} {"id": "t3_4mynfc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(M28) just entered a LTR with GF(26). I am lacking trust in relationships. Is this fixable?", "post": "What's up redditors, \n\nI recently met a wonderful woman, by far the best person I ever met. I love how accepting she is, how I can make her smile and how we are when we are together. \n\nIt is not that I do not trust her. She goes out regularly and still talks to her ex. These things do not instill jealousy in me. Especially because she is extremely dependable and even asked me if I disapproved of those things. She would quit that stuff if I ever found that necessary. My problem is however that I do not have any faith in our relationship (and other relationships for that matter). \n\nWe have had minor fights and I seem to be with one foot out the door even before we had a chance to talk about it. She feels insecure about not being able to fulfill my needs and I frighten myself because I really think we are happy together and I'm afraid I'm going to mess this up because of my personal issues. It's not that I WANT to leave deep down. \n\nI have always had this and never committed before to any woman. Moreover I have seen some really ugly shit in the times I had casual relations with women. Women lying about or even to their boyfriends/husbands while being with me. Women ready to dump their man because of some feelings I ignited in them. \n\nSo at the vary least I do not have any faith in relationships, at the very most I do not have faith in women or people in general.", "summary": "I am afraid to mess up my relationship against my deeper desire to make it work because of my lack of faith in relationships. "} {"id": "t3_1evp7b", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I have a 10 year high school reunion to go to in a month. I can easily make it. Do I go?", "post": "I'm on the fence on this one. I feel like most of the people I wanted to keep in contact with since high school, I do so via Facebook. Besides, my story isn't going to \"dazzle\" anyone. I moved out of my folks place when I was 27. I've worked at the Starbucks in my hometown for 6 years. I'm a Sergeant in the National Guard, never deployed. I'm single, no children. I'm working my way through school to get an Associate's in Network Admin. Bam. That's it. That's essentially the story of my last 10 years. A Facebook page was created for the event. I see many of my former classmates confirming their attendance, all so excited about it. \"I\"m going, PLUS ONE!\" Congrats on your marriage, I really don't care. I'll definitely go to a 20 year reunion, that to me is more telling of where people have \"ended up\". But do I go to the 10 year? Did you? Would you?", "summary": "10 year high school reunion in a little over a month. Yeah, I can easily make it. I'm on the fence about whether I will or not."} {"id": "t3_4xn5sh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [27 F] of 5 years, just confessed to me [27 M] that she kissed a coworker", "post": "I was having lunch with my gf today when all of a sudden she said that she had something to tell me. She started bawling her eyes out in the middle of the restaurant and confessed that a year ago she drunkenly kissed a coworker of hers and that she has been bottling it up this whole time because she did not want to lose me.\n\nAccording to her, she was out with a bunch of her coworkers drinking and one of them just kissed her on the lips. She was surprised and left immediately.\n\nIt doesn't end here. A couple weeks later, they are all out for a drunken time again and it happens again. This time she didn't pull away as fast. She said they kissed for a few minutes. The next day she had a talk with her coworker and said that they cannot do this kind of thing and that they should only be friends.\n\nShe spent the whole day crying her eyes out and literally begging for forgiveness on her knees in public. \n\nI took her phone, called her coworker and told him that his friendship with her is over as of today and if he has a problem he can come take it up with me. GF blocked his phone number and deleted all of his contact info after, promising that she will cut all ties with him. \n\nGuys, I truly love this girl and was ready to marry her. I'm just so crushed now. My trust in her is definitely at an all time low and she will have to do everything in her power to regain it. I know that she is genuinely sorry but I just don't know what to do.", "summary": "GF kissed coworker. Apologized and begged me on her knees to not leave her. Not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_3eloxa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[17F] bf[7M] is getting braces and I'm wondering if it will take away from his appearance.", "post": "My boyfriend is not 7, excuse my typo ha. \n\nSo my boyfriend of roughly 6 months is getting braces in a couple of days, like I said, and I'm scared I'll find him less attractive. He doesn't have very crooked teeth as is and I really like his smile. He's already kind of dorky looking, in a way that I find extremely attractive ofc, so I think they'll enhance his dorkiness. I'm not gonna break up with him or anything if I think he looks weird. Just wondering if anyone else has felt that way? I know I'll probably just have to get used to him having them, he's probably going to have them for over a year. In addition, i know this can be an uncomfortable experience, what can I do to help him deal with the pain for the first few days? Is there anything I can buy him and stuff to make him feel better?", "summary": "bf getting braces, scared I'll think he looks weird, also what can I do to ease the pain for him?"} {"id": "t3_2wlvbn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] never dated anyone all I want is a loving relationship not some fling HELP.", "post": "So here is my situation I'm almost 21 never had a girlfriend \nand everytime I try to talk to a girl and get to know them as soon as a think I'm getting close and talk about relationships \nthey assume I'm gay(every fucking time ) leaving me destroyed inside and back pedaling in conversations. \n\nI now think maybe I come across as too nice when I all want is companionship. I feel so isolated I can't talk to anyone about it. \n\nI am just attacking the long term relationship whilst I'm too young and now coming to the end on my degree I moving in to a teaching role at university which means I definatly can't get involved with those near my age without risking my job.\n\nHELP I'm not sure how much more I can take all I want is a Hug from time to time", "summary": "21 never had a GF everyone assumes I'm gay and now getting a job where I if a try to date people my own age I lose my job."} {"id": "t3_2pbl90", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [20/F] concerned that my boyfriend [23 M] of 2 months might be scared of investing too much into our relationship.", "post": "A little background. I have known my boyfriend for a year next month, but we've been dating for the last 2 months. Before we started going out, he had been in a bad relationship. Basically, he was a FWB with a girl he worked with who already had a boyfriend. He got really attached to her and when she ended it he got hurt a lot. That was right before the summer started. He's told me that, and he's told me about his mother too.\n\nFrom what he's told me, it sounds like every time her romantic relationships turn sour she starts dating another man before even breaking up with the first. The most recent happened in the last couple months apparently, when his mom and stepfather separated and she started dating a new guy. Granted, I can't really say anything to him on the matter because I haven't really been involved until recently. He seems to be dealing with the changes pretty well, or maturely, but sometimes I think he may be projecting the fear of failing relationships onto our relationships. It sometimes seems like he's holding himself back because of that fear.\n\nFortunately (unfortunately?), I have been exposed to mostly healthy, or at least lasting relationships. I can't really relate to his fears, because I never had to deal with the divorce of my parents, or the adjustments that come along with a step parent. It sometimes seems like he's jealous that I have a \"perfect\" family, even though I try to assure him that my family has its own problems. Is there some way that I can assure him that I care about him, and that I want our relationship to last? I don't want him to hold back, I'd rather see him living in the moment without having that underlying fear.", "summary": "How do I assure my boyfriend that I am not like his mother, and that our relationship is not like his mother's romantic relationships?"} {"id": "t3_2fez7e", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [M 24] am bad at relationships ... this girl ive been dating is amazing, but im worried about the prospects [F 25]", "post": "I am a 24 year old grad student who lives 4 hours away from my hometown. 3 weeks ago, I went home and visited some friends and family, and was introduced to a great girl by my buddy, and we really seemed to hit it off. We talked for several hours, from about midnight til 5 am then fell asleep in separate couches right beside each other. We woke up at 630 to keep talking, since i had to leave to drive back for class early that morning. So i got her number, and we went from there, texted alot the first week and two 1hour long phone calls. So labor day weekend rolls around and im able to go home for the break, so i take her out on saturday. We had a great day starting off at the zoo and then going to eat dinner and walk around afterwards. As i thought the date went well and didnt know the next time id be back home, I asked if she wanted to hang out the next day, and she did... we went to see a conservatory of flowers, walked around some more, grabbed dinner, and then went to a ribfest at our local pro football stadium where there were free concerts available. We made out during and after the concert, but we shortly ended our date after that due to time. Anyways, we have continued to txt and call each other and I do want this to evolve into a relationship over time, but is it ok to just meet up once or twice during weekend visits that i make which may only happen 1-2 x per month? There's something about this girl which is different and makes it seems like its worth while, but im trying to make the most of the opportunities i have. We did discuss the future of our dating plans together and said we'd work on meeting as much as possible and take it as it is. Our feelings for one another seem pretty mutual.", "summary": "I 24 YM found a 25 YF that i like a lot that has decided to continue to date me for some while when i come home from school breaks. What can i do to maximize the potential?"} {"id": "t3_12pz7k", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[19/F] I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend [19/M] for 4 years. Problem is, it's a secret from my family because we met online 10 years ago.", "post": "So 10 years ago, I'm this little tyke, going onto a children's website. (Neopets for those who are wondering). There I meet my best friend, and 6 years later, boyfriend. \n\nThe problem is, is that as a kid my parents always told me to not talk to strangers on the internet, so I kept my friendship a secret. When we made the official switch to boyfriend and girlfriend, I still never told anybody because A) our relationship is fairly long distance and B) I have been afraid to admit to my parents and family that I lied to them.\n\nIt's getting to be harder to keep the secret, the more I meet him and I keep dropping hints that I have a friend who lives in the next state over, but it's not good enough for me. How do I get out of this mess and get this secret off my chest without making my family angry/betrayed? It's not healthy for me or for him.\n\nAlso: It's worth noting my parents don't believe in long distance relationships/internet meetings... so this further complicates things.", "summary": "have kept my best friend and eventually boyfriend a secret to long and am now afraid to tell my family because I'm scared they'll hate me/won't support me. What do?"} {"id": "t3_194ni6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[18/m] first date help with (17/f)", "post": "So i've known this girl for 6 years and we've always been friends. I asked her out yesterday but her response was, 'we'll have one date but i don't want to lead you on.'\n\nNormally, that probably means i'm in the friendzone or maybe she just doesn't like me and feel pity (i hope not) so she's just agreeing this once. Well, I'm done being down about it. I'm seeing this as a challenge, I have one date to prove to her that I'm worth her while.\n\nSo the help i need is, well I got a good list of venues and stuff she likes to do which i also enjoy. I'm just wondering on how grand should i make this date considering it's like my only chance.\n\n*Should I make the date long with multiple venues?*\n\n*Should we do some stuff that'll keep us occupied, but not to the extent of movies? (idk what yet)*\n\n*Should I make it like a simple walk-in-park then grab some coffee?*\n\n*Include dinner or no dinner?*\n\n*Should I spend a lot of money or not? (I won't be able to sustain spending tons of money every date \nbut yeah this is one-time thing)", "summary": "I like a girl i've been friends with for 6 years, she's not interested and I have 1 date to make her my gf. Reddit, please answer any or all questions I've put or any other general pointers."} {"id": "t3_372qmm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (23F) don't know what i want from him (24m)", "post": "Hi r/relationships!\n\nA little background, my ex ended our 6year relationship in march this year. We were engaged and wanted kids in 3 years. He ended it because he \"couldn't stand it anymore\", thats alle the explanation i got.. But i suspect that he also fell in love with one of his co-workers... We are now no contact and I'm actually glad that it's over because i saw that a lot was going wrong between us...\n\nHe was my first serious relationship, and i mever really dated bevor him..so i thought \"tinder\" would be a great idea to meet new people. \n\nIn the middle of april i met a guy on tinder..he's a student in my hometown but comes originally from the other side of my country. We met in real life and hit it of immediatly. We talked for ours, we laughed for hours..\nOn the second date I stayed at his place..and since then we are somethin like friends with benefits... We talk a lot, have much fun together, we cuddle and watch films and we have sex.\n\nSo now this is where i'm confused. If it's only about sex, then why all the cuddling, cooking and lang walks and talks? \n\nI, for myself don't really know what i want.. Am I ok when it's just sex? Do I want a serious relationship with him? I'm afraid to ask him what he thinks where this is going.. What's when his answer upsets me? \n\nOn friday i was out with a friend of mine and I met a guy in a bar and we started kissing..he wanted to take me to his place..but suddenly i felt guilty about my friend with benefits.. \n\nSo r/relationships, what should i do? Should i just relax and look where this is going? Should i talk to him and ask him what he wants?", "summary": "don't know if i want a relationship with my friend with benefits, single since 2months after a 6year relationship."} {"id": "t3_1v2qif", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my GF [20 F] of a few months, I don't really feel like she cares about me", "post": "Me and my GF have been together for a few months and I really don't feel like she cares about me at all. We text but I'll usually try and carry a conversation with her and in response I'll get very short responses that don't allow the conversation to flow. I also always compliment her and in response I get a \"Thanks.\"\n\nWe live in different states, and since we are still on break from college, i haven't seen her in over a month, but we still skype almost daily. She has been with her best friend the past two weeks and when we skype, she seems to be paying more attention to her than me.\n\nFinally, I was just curious about our sex life when we are together and I asked her if i satisfy her and she responded by saying \"I don't know. I've only had sex with one other person and that relationship was purely based on sexual attraction\" I decided to make a joke of the situation and respond by saying \"Did he have that hot bod?\" to which she replies \"Not really, but he was extremely good at what he does\" \n\nI understand that I might be a little sensitive or reading into things too much, but she completely ignored my question and responds by saying how her ex was a good fuck. \n\nI just don't know if I should try and further our relationship.\n\n**I forgot to mention that we both go to school together and we live in the same building. at school, she's amazing and i wouldn't have it any other way. she's always there when i need it. One of my close friends recently passed away while we were at school. She was supposed to go home and decided to stay and help me get through the rest of the semester. It's like when we are together she's amazing, but over texting and phone calls, it feels so unnatural.", "summary": "Girlfriend just shuts me down when i compliment her and ignores me when we talk and said her ex is a great fuck."} {"id": "t3_4zv9rc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21/F] cousin [25/F] gave up a huge career opportunity over her skin color.", "post": "My cousin has been looking for a job for over a year now and has so far, been rather unsuccessful. She had a very sheltered upbringing and this has led to poor conversation skills and poor general knowledge - as a result, she always gets rejected after the interview stage.\n\nFinally, a month ago, she got offered a pretty decent role at an organization in another city (it so happens that city is quite sunny)\n\nTo everyone's surprise, she ended up rejecting the offer. She came up with vague reasons when family members questioned her decision seeing that she's not in a place to be choosy - to put it politely. My mom spoke to her (they're very close and tend to confide in each other) a while ago to figure out the real reason and she admitted that she's concerned about getting darker in the sun and she turned down the job because she would've been required to relocate to the aforementioned city.\n\nShe's always felt somewhat insecure about being dark skinned but I never knew it was to such an extreme degree. She refuses to accept that it's a problem that she needs to work on and states that light skin is naturally the better/preferred look and always tries bleaching creams to change her tone. \n\nI'm also concerned as she might be getting married soon, and will have kids as soon as possible. This kind of attitude is going keep the cycle going because then her children will grow up feeling ashamed of their skin as well.", "summary": "Cousin turned down a good job offer because it required relocating to a sunny city, and she wanted to avoid skin darkening. Refuses to admit that her colorism issues are getting dangerously deep. How can we help her?"} {"id": "t3_hlwnw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Fianc\u00e9e getting high a lot, starting to annoy me..", "post": "Hey, Reddit. This is obviously a throwaway account as my fianc\u00e9e also uses Reddit quite a bit and I'm not sure how she would react if she found me posting this.\n\nAnyway, I've been in a really great relationship with her for almost 6 years. We've been living together for almost 1 year. \n\nI knew she smoked weed and it didn't really bother me as I did it quite a lot for many years but around Christmas time I stopped pretty much 100% cold turkey I think I've had about one joint since then.\n\nAnyway, she gets quite a bit of free weed from one of her friends and smokes it every time she is round at his and quite a bit when she is here (at home). It didn't bother me at first but now she just sparks up on her pipe or whatever which leaves the house smelling really strong of grass which is not really something I want.\n\nOn top of that she is just really annoying to be around when she is high; constantly forgetting things, not paying attention to something she is doing then blaming it on something else as \"I'm not that high\" when you can blatantly tell she is and a lot of the time I just try and stay away from her when she is as it makes it a lot easier. I've tried talking to her a few times about it but she just gets a bit defensive stating that it is her body and I used to do it and she pays half of the rent so should be entitled to smoke it in the house yada yada\n\nSo basically, I'm at my wits end with this... Any advice?", "summary": "My girlfriend smokes a lot of weed, it makes my house smell, she is annoying to be around when she is high. Advice please."} {"id": "t3_1mupxn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "SO[20F] is becoming a dancer at a strip club to help pay for our apartment [Together for 1.5 years]", "post": "As the title says, my SO is trying to become a dancer at a strip club (supposedly the position she was offered was just a dancer, not a stripper, so apparently she doesn't take her clothes off).\n\n She decided on it because the restaurant she works at has slowed down a lot and she isn't making enough anymore. Moreover, she hasn't been able to find another waiting job.\n\nStill I was kind of upset about it, and we had a fight. Once we cooled down and talked for real, we realized we just weren't on the same page and didn't really understand each others motivations for feeling how we felt. \n\nI didn't understand that she was doing it because she has pay to pay for her school on top of the apartment, and so I don't have to work as much and focus on my schoolwork. \n\nShe doesn't want to be so dependent on my parents paying for things. Not sure how much she'll make but I work part time so hopefully we can cover a good portion of our expenses with that. Furthermore, she thought that I just thought it was degrading and I wasn't going to stay with her because I felt above her.\n\nI've mostly come to terms with it, I'm mostly worried about her own safety now really. I told her I support her as long as she feels safe there and that she feels comfortable with it. Also, She knows I'm still a little skeptical and told me she would answer any question about it no matter what.\n\nI'm just wondering what to expect because I've heard so many different stories about dating strippers on both ends of the spectrum. I've heard from \"it makes you hate men and you don't even want your boyfriends to touch you\" to \"They keep their lives separate and some are very smart people paying their way through school etc.\"\n\nI guess it really depends on the person, but I was just wondering if anyone had any experience with this?", "summary": "SO is going to become a dancer at a strip club to pay for her school and help pay our apartment. Not sure what to expect and I don't want this to ruin our relationship"} {"id": "t3_1xuqik", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Help with rejection from girl. Please Help.", "post": "Hi. I am a 17 year old male from USA. I go to grade 11 and I asked this one girl out about 2 months ago. I knew her through a school project that lasted around 3 weeks and another one that lasted 2 weeks. It was fun to be around her. I told one of my close friends that I have feelings about her, and they said she was different in a cheery and happy way when I'm around. So that felt good, plus she was the one who wanted ME to be her partner for the second project.\n\nFast forward a few days later, and I wanted to ask her out. First I was like \"Hey Jenny I wanted to talk to you about something\" but she said she had to run because she had her ride waiting for her as she needed to go to the doctor(she really did, I remember).\n\nThen, she texts me \"What is it that you wanted to say?\"\n\nAfter many \"I'll tell you later\"s I told her that \"This is harder than I thought\" to which she replied \"Look I think what you mean and I'm sorry, I think I just want to be friends\"\n\nAnd that was basically it.\n\nNow, the main issue. The thing is, I can't forget about her. The other girls in my school are either in a relationship or just generally bad(I live in a crappy area). This is really killing me and I WANT to forget about her but my brain is constantly reminding me of her. It has become torture for me to always have to think about her cause I liked her so much. Please give me tips on what to do.\n\nOther thing. Every day during break, she goes to a class that I like cause the teacher there has interesting chats with us about random stuff and I find it really intriguing. I go there too occasionally and I go there ONLY for the awesome teacher and not for Jenny. Do you think this is going to make her feel creepy? Also, do you ever think she will change her decision and MAYBE like me and then tell me somehow?\n\nThanks so much. I want a \"kicker\" or some good advice that will take me out of always thinking about her and get me to something else. Thanks again. Bye.", "summary": "I liked girl, girl no like me, me get upset, me keep thinking about her, me want no feelings but brain give me feelings. You help, I need help."} {"id": "t3_utkzb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I need emergency relationship advice ASAP. I need to have a solid answer by tomorrow, please help me.", "post": "Hey reddit. I'm new here, but I like the way you guys collaborate so...maybe you can help me with something of my own. I am confused as fuck, and need help with a major decision involving a potential relationship that is hanging by a thread.\n\nSo I met this girl 4 years ago. To save the backstory, we were just good friends and stayed friends even went she went to college. I am 17 and she is 20 now, and after I asked her to my junior prom as a friend we ended up fucking afterwards. This turned into a FWB style thing, and it was going good. **THENNNNNN** emotions got involved. She began talking about becoming a unit, and I was still tentative because I honestly wasn't sure about it yet. Although I liked her a lot, and could feel myself growing to like her, I wasn't completely sure I wanted to take another step.\n\nThat's where shit went wrong. Bad wrong. All of this talk about a relationship felt so forced and unnatural, that I panicked and partially burned that bridge. This was last week, actually. I told her I didn't feel the same about here, etc. etc....but this past week I have been getting these powerful feelings of wanting to give a relationship with her an honest shot. Because I care for her like a family member having known her so long, and I am torn between these ephemeral feelings of wanting to plunge into a relationship with her, and my gut feeling that is telling me not to. I feel like if I don't, it is a mistake. I also feel that if I DO it's a mistake.\n\nWhat would you do? I can usually rely on myself to make these decisions...but I have been trying unsuccessfully the past week and my indecision is hurting her more every day.", "summary": "Torn between being friends with a girl and jumping into a relationship with her. Fleeting feelings of wanting to be in a relationship with her are making my gut feeling of avoiding a relationship hard."} {"id": "t3_1s7ikd", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Had a Skype Interviewer, Interviewer Didn't Show Up", "post": "I applied for an internship in China through a well known university club that helps students find paid internships around the world (so I know its not a scam job). \n\nI did a prescreen interview with a student club member, and moved on to the 2nd round, an interview with the company. We set a time and date and I logged into skype 30 min before the interview. I sent a message to the university student who prescreened me on skype, but she never answered. So I waited for about 1 hour, and nothing. Its been almost 24 hours since then, and no email, no contact...etc. I did send the university student an email, no response yet. \n\nWtf do I do now? The internship seems very interesting, the pay i decent, and it was a fairly new company, which I definitely prefer. I'd like the job, but alarm bells are really going off. At the same time, since its a startup, maybe something came up.\n\nAnyone have any advice, or been in a similar situation, specifically with a job abroad.", "summary": "Was supposed to have a skype interview for an internship abroad, interviewer never showed up. What should I do now?"} {"id": "t3_gt416", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Many redditors are visiting colleges and planning their futures at this moment. If I could give one piece of advice to them, it would be...", "post": "So, how 'bout it, Reddit? Hundreds of thousands of high school seniors are incredibly stressed about their post high school lives right now. Redditors in college and redditors who have graduated, what single piece of advice would you offer them?\n\nRedditors serving and who have served, what advice would you give to graduating high schoolers who plan to serve in the military?\n\nRedditors who chose neither to go to college nor enlist, what advice would you give?\n\nA little background: I am a junior finishing the semester at a liberal arts college. My mother works in admissions at said college. She frequently tells me about the worries of incoming undergrads, and I have on more than one occasion spoke to accepted students and their parents, attempting always to offer up good advice and stories of my experiences. Late April is the absolute craziest stretch of the process; kids have either been accepted or denied, or wait-listed, and often find themselves really lost and second-guessing their plans or desires. I'm sure a lot of these kids are browsing Reddit, and I think some anonymous words of wisdom might really help.", "summary": "Give a single piece of advice to individuals who will soon be graduating high school and plan to go to college/enlist/get a job/take a year off/etc, based on your experiences."} {"id": "t3_4k0zop", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(20m) I don't know if she (21f) likes me. If she does how can I salvage this missed opportunity?", "post": "I went and saw this female friend from high school's show, acting student. We've hung out about once a year since high school so not a lot, she tends to bail on me. She was like \"oh we should hang out\" I thought this was a empty gesture, but she followed up with a text. We decided to hang out today. I ask this morning if she wanted to get coffee she proposed we hang out later. She invited me over to have dinner and watch a movie. We ate dinner, with her mom. We watched two movies that she was assigned to watch for her acting class. We were sitting on a couch on opposite ends as they're the kind with fold out footrests. I didn't make a move because I'm lame. But did she want me to? Is there any way now that I'm home to recover this interaction if she is into me?", "summary": "Watched movies with girl didn't make a move. Did she want me to? Can I salvage this missed opportunity?"} {"id": "t3_3jjsz3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21/F] with my BF[23 M] of 2 years. His depression is bringing me down?", "post": "Met my BF (23/M) in University. He told me (F/21) a year in that he suffered with depression, my dad has battle with manic depression for years now and I thought this would be easy to to handle with my BF in comparison. (It got extremely messy with my dad at his worst - years on it is MUCH better - like almost back to normal).\n\nTwo years later turns out very different. I am now very mentally ill (cannot bear to think about being in the same town as my University doc/ stopped going to classes/ grades dropped staggeringly). \n\nI'm meant to be finishing my last essays so I can graduate late. Like, in January he was meant is to graduate with me. However, although I left my hometown in Summer (and studies, for 3 weeks) to support his exams, he chose to take a year out instead, meaning that he is doing nothing for another year - no student status, not taking meds, not working.\n\nI love him and he keeps promising a future together, but he doesn't want to travel/ move in together and work. There is no indication towards creating the life together that I crave.\n\nThere is no communication with one another for days on end unless I instigate it. And even then he won't skype or another means of contact - just FB chat sporadically.\n\nI feel like the biggest bitch for moving on with my life without him, but I want to work and travel and just fucking live. But he won't commit to doing it with me, or even get the medication that I know will help him (as it did with my dad).\n\nI just want an equal partner, not one that I have to force into doing nice things/ spending time with me. I'm so fucking sad whenever I think about him.", "summary": "dunno what to do about long term BF that won't communicate what's up/ at all. Am 21, but feel ancient with all the stress."} {"id": "t3_4jx6d8", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My boyfriend [19/m] told me [17/f] to lose weight. Am I right to be upset?", "post": "Background: I am 5'3\" and I weigh 119.05lb which is a normal weight; I workout at least 3 times a week and I eat very little. I have been told that I should eat around 1800, because I exercise. I eat less than 800 calories a day, and usually, I eat less than 500 calories. I'm slim, but curvy, and I could do with a little toning up. However, my boyfriend likes skinny to really skinny girls (like Ariana Grande and some VS models), and it hurts knowing I could never be like that skinny (my bf knows it's not natural for me to be that skinny). I hate my body and I think I could be suffering from an eating disorder (my bf knows this). \n\nIncident: So I told my bf that I calculated how many calories I need, how much I weight and how much I need to eat to lose more weight. So, he told me to eat 1400, so in about 2/3 months I could get down to 110lbs, and knowing the type of girls he likes, I know he was holding back and he would have said more. He knows I struggle with my body image and my eating, so the fact that he told me to lose more, hurts me. To make things worse, my bf is slightly chubby, never exercises and eats whatever he wants; I never tell him that he should stop eating and lose weight. He also once told me with more exercise and eating less, I could get a thigh gap (he loves thigh gaps). This is even after I said I couldn't because I have naturally thick thighs.", "summary": "I weight 119.05lb at 5'3 (I'm healthy and definitely not fat). My bf told me to eat less and get down to 110lbs."} {"id": "t3_wprjk", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[18/m] Bad at relationships?", "post": "So I'm 18 and I'm gay. I don't know if you accept that kind of posting here but whatever. So I started talking to this guy and we both are extremely attracted to each other and all that but he recently told me that he really likes me yet he's afraid to get into a relationship with me because he is really bad at them and he doesn't want to hurt me. He wants to be friends and he tells me stuff like he loves talking to me and greets me every morning with a text and stuff. He's extremely flirtatious and we have talked about hooking up. ANYWAY, should I try to help him work through his relationship issues or should I just accept that he can't do it and look for someone else? I still would like to be friends with him but I would really like to be in a relationship with him as well.", "summary": "guy said that he doesn't want to get into a relationship because he doesn't want to \"inevitably hurt\" me. wat do?"} {"id": "t3_wmgin", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Guy to girl ratio on reddit?", "post": "I haven't been a Redditor for as long as most people on here but I am no virgin to the social aspect of technology. However in my long endeavors as social media fanatic as well as a long term online gamer most of my interactions have been with other males as far as members of xbox live and other social media outputs. Lately I have realized that when I read a post on Reddit I automatically assume that the OP is male. I guess I'm just curious as to what the ration for guys to girls is on reddit itself. The easiest way I can see to go about doing this is to post a comment that states what gender you are or whatever else input you have on the subject.", "summary": "I'm curious about the guy-girl ratio on Reddit. Post something regarding your gender so I don't feel like a sexist pig thinking all OP's seem male."} {"id": "t3_3v95g5", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "[Vent] \"He just bit me!\"", "post": "So my roommate and I decided to take our dogs to a special Christmas event our city does every year. It's a neighborhood walkthrough and is always filled with parents, children, and pets. My dog happens to be a 2 year-old German Shepherd, and since some people get nervous around bigger dogs I kept him very close to my righthand side, as it was packed.\n\nAt one point, the sidewalk got narrow and I had to pull my dog in closer, and accidentally stepped on his foot in the process. He yelped and jerked his foot back but was fine. In the incident, I backed up and elbowed a man to my LEFT. \n\nIn the second after my dog yelped, I heard someone shout \"what the hell?!\" I turn and see the guy to my left staring at me so I say \"oh I stepped on his foot, sorry!\" And he goes \"yeah, I know, and he BIT me!\"\n\nNow I'm completely confused because my dog was attached to my right hip, and this guy was a foot away to my left. So basically my dog would have had to lunge his body across me without my seeing JUST to bite this guy, all while ignoring the close hold I had on him. Keep in mind my dog never has shown aggression to people and has NEVER bitten anyone..\n\nI obviously know what happened- that I elbowed this man and he, for some reason, thinks my elbow was as sharp as a dog bite. So he's still staring at me waiting for an explanation (he looks ready to call the cops and yell dog attack) so I say \"I'm sorry I didn't see you there when I jumped back.\" He's still staring with the same look on his face as I walked further into the crowd. \n\nIt freaked me out. I don't know if this man genuinely thought he was bit, was trying to make a scene, or what. Not 2 minutes later though, my roommates young puppy sniffed a woman's shoe and the lady said the dog \"tried to bite her\" so we were both pretty wary of everyone after that. I don't need people looking for lawsuits right now. Shitty.", "summary": "Stepped on my dogs tail in crowded area, accidentally elbow man when trying to back up. Man thinks elbow is jaws and yells that my dog bit him."} {"id": "t3_161a85", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My dad is a pedophile and is trying to adopt children. What do I do?", "post": "First of all I should say that my father never touched ME inappropriately. He's in his 50s and I'm in my 30s. Last September I found out that he was cheating on his 3rd wife with several men in his community. I was given some info that made me suspicious so I hacked his email and there was hundreds of explicit emails about sex and meeting up for sex with at least 3 men and in his contacts list were hundreds of very sexual/homosexual sounding email addresses. I also found out that he has a membership to a gay men's meetup site. One of the guys he was emailing several times a day and they had this whole father/son fetish that was very obvious in their correspondence. He asked if the guy was wearing his \"race car undroos\" and other very disturbing things. Here's the really bad part. For 10 years between his 2nd wife and 3rd wife he was single and spent a strange amount of his free time around young boys (8-11yo). Everyone in the family thought it was weird and warned him about what it looked like. He didn't seem to care. He would have these boys over to his house and have them sleep with him in his bed. He admits to this much and acts like there is nothing wrong with it. I feel confident in declaring that he has a little boy fetish and sexually abused those boys. After I learned all of this I confronted him and told him that I never wanted to talk to/see him again and that if I found out that he was alone anyone under 18 that I would kill him. He had been having some local kids from his neighborhood over to his house all the time. I told him he needed to stay away from them. I told his wife about all of it and she was alarmed but stayed with him anyway (she is a complete idiot). I informed the police and social services back in September when all this came out and they seemed concerned but apparently there is nothing they can do about it.\n\nMy cousin recently told me that he ran into my dad at a community center and overheard him talking about adopting some kids. Now I don't know what to do. Please advise.", "summary": "I have reason to believe that my father sexually abuses children. I confronted him about it and told him never to talk to me again and today I found out that he may be trying to adopt kids. Help."} {"id": "t3_okf2o", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Know a girl through mutual acquaintances & social networks, but we've never met in person. What's the least creepy way for me to ask her out?", "post": "Shortly after I moved to my current city about two years ago, a contact I made for professional networking purposes recommended I connect with a girl who was in the same field and also moving to the city. We friended each other on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Facebook, but never actually met up.\n\nOver the past couple years, we've tweeted back & forth occasionally, and sometimes like/comment on each other's posts on Facebook. We know a few of the same people (she used to intern with one of my current coworkers, one of my friends used to work at her company), however, these aren't people that I think either of us are particularly close with.\n\nShe's always seemed like a really cool person, from what I know of her. She's cute, positive, friendly, and passionate about things. She's interested in sports & food, which are two of my passions, as well. I'm recently out of a LTR & single again, and I'd like to ask her out to see if we're as compatible in person as it seems to me that we would be.\n\nSo, RA, what's the best way for me to go about doing this? I know we live in the same neighborhood, so should I just send her a Facebook message asking if she wants to grab coffee/a drink after work? Her email address is listed publicly on her profile, so I could send her a note that way, but that seems weird since she hasn't given it to me directly. I also don't feel like I know my co-worker or her relationship with this girl well enough for me to ask her to make an introduction.", "summary": "Connected to an interesting girl through various social networks, and we know a couple of the same people, but we've never actually met. I want to get to know her in person, but I don't want to seem creepy."} {"id": "t3_4hse0l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 F] with my research partner [30s M] 8 months, burned out because I have a \"teacher/student\" relationship with my research partner instead of a partnership", "post": "Xpost from /r/GradSchool", "summary": "My research partner requires a ridiculous amount of handholding to complete his work at the detriment of my work. I'm afraid of being labeled as a complainer or difficult if I bring it up. What do?"} {"id": "t3_13q8fq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[24/m] don't know what the next step should be with my[22/f]", "post": "My gf and I have been going out for the past 1.5 years and I don't think she actually cares about me anymore. She describes herself as a \"heartless bitch\" all the time and I am the one who always says that no she isn't and all that nice stuff. Her roommate hates me for no reason( gf agrees with me on this one) and her other close friends thinks that I am a perfect match for her. At the beginning of our relationship, we would always wake up and first thing we would do is text each other good morning, and now for the past 2-3 weeks its only me texting her and she doesn't ( or if she does its only like once or twice) We are both in college ( same school-same major but i am one year her senior). I am always the one who calls her, and what not. I called her last night and asked her why doesn't she call me and her response is \"its cause I thought you were busy with school work\". I was upset cause its thanksgiving, it would be nice to get a call from my SO. Whenever I ask my gf to text me sweet stuff, she tells me that she likes me because I am a low maintenance bf so I don't say that anymore. I am the more outgoing of the two, and I definitely could have hooked up with different girls during our break (my neighbor are all girls and they usually invite me and my roomies over for wine night), but I stayed loyal to my girl and even though i did go over for wine, I didn't do anything after.\nso what do you guys think, should I break up with my current gf or stay longer?", "summary": "gf doesn't put in that much effort into the relationship as I do, yet we are both busy individuals. Break up or no?"} {"id": "t3_v7pnp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Lying jackass in need of help to get his girlfriend back", "post": "So about a month ago, my girlfriend of a year finally decided to break things off for good after my many lies and fabrications. I constantly lied to her about talking to other females and she'd always catch me, though the conversations weren't bad, it was the lies that mattered and it made it seem like I was cheating, though I never did and never in a million years would. For the last few months we tried working through it, but it was just too stressful for her to deal with. After she broke it off with me, I've been trying to give the perfect balance of space and still staying around showing that I care, but I either get ignored or I get put down like I'm scum. She's shown that she still gets jealous and what not, but she barely speaks to me. I love her to death, I honestly see myself with her for my entire life, (I'm 22, she's 20), the problem is, she can't trust me and no matter what I do, I don't seem to be getting through to her. Yesterday I dropped off 2 dozen roses, a Pandora bracelet with a charm on it, and a 5 page handwritten letter pouring my heart out to her, a gesture she has yet to respond to in any way. I'm literally going crazy because I love her to death. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "I lied and made it seem like I was being unfaithful to my girlfriend, need a lot of help getting her trust back and her back into my life."} {"id": "t3_2s33e1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my new girlfriend [20 F], teased her with mutual friends once when we were just friends, need advice?", "post": "My new girlfriend and I have been friends for 3 years but recently I discovered I have feelings for her. We started flirting and decided to date and everything has been going great! We have the same mutual friends and 2 years ago, I got my first girlfriend. My first girlfriend and I were hanging out with mutual friends. They were making fun of my new girlfriend ( when we were just friends), and my first girlfriend was confused and didn't get it. I explained it to her and laughed with my mutual friends. \n\nI feel really bad about it and don't want this to affect our relationship if she finds out. I know that it occurred way before my current girlfriend and I started to date, but I understand that she will most likely be hurt if/when she finds out. One of our mutual friends has no tact, and I fear he may say something without realizing what he said. I don't want to ruin anything or hurt her. This has been the best relationship I had. I don't think anything negative about her. I think she is great, smart, funny, beautiful, and we have a lot in common. We have common long term goals, and I think it could really work. \n\nWhat should I do about this? I really appreciate everyone's help!", "summary": "I made fun of my new girlfriend when I was dating someone else with our mutual friends. I don't want to hurt her or our new relationship. What do I do/say, if anything?"} {"id": "t3_4o32qd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] don't wanna go to GF's [18F] parties/ get togethers. Gf and her friends call me a dick for it. But they act as I'm invisible. Do I have a right not to wanna go? Or should I suck it up for my gf?", "post": "So a month ago my gf was having a get together at her house for about 8 people. She invited me and I told her I would come. I get to the party and I am never once introduced to her friends. ( I didn't know anyone but her) I sat their trying to be included, but my gf acted as if I wasn't there. About 20 min of being ignored I get up to leave. Immediately I am told that leaving was rude and her friends started to chip in. But I was being ignored and wanted to leave. Instead of letting me leave in peace, they made me feel even more uncomfortable. \n\nSo I left the party to go home and I get a text from my gf that \"everyone thinks you're rude because you left\" I clearly told her she and her friends ignored me and did not include me on any conversation. I was told it was my fault for \"not trying\"\n\nFast forward to last week she had another party. But when she told me about it, I clearly told her I wasn't coming weeks before the party. So the days go by and I forget about the party. The day of the party (while forgetting about the party) she told me to \"come over and hangout\" I head on over and some people are there but it didn't bother me. She then says \"when are the rest coming\" immediately I remember the party and I felt tricked into coming. I asked her to come down stairs to talk to me. I told her that I was leaving and did not want to stay. She again told me it was \"rude to show up and leave\" even though before hand I told her I didn't want to come. Again I'm made out to be a \"dick\" \n\nAm I a dick for not wanted to be there? Or do I have a right to chose where I want to be? Also is her not letting me leave in peace and not respecting my feelings a red flag? \nThanks!\n\n[", "summary": "] gf thinks I'm a dick for not going to her parties but I think I have a right to not wanna go"} {"id": "t3_1g38tf", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Cashier is a petty individual", "post": "Long time Reader, first time poster >.>\nThree major items of note:\nFirstly I work at one of the cheapy stores that have \"Dollar\" in its name, but not everything costs a dollar. Secondly I am transitioning from male to female, and am decently along the way. Third Sorry for the Wall 'o' Text.\n\nI was working an early shift today, something that I already don't like. Usually I get to start at 4 or 5 today I was in at 11AM, that always makes the Inryi cranky. One of my first customers comes in checks out and calls me Sir. Avoiding a lot of detail I have long hair that might not have been brushed as much as it should have been, a bust that at least one of my coworkers is jealous of, and at least light makeup on.\n\nI tell him that I'm not a Sir, because even my ID now lists me as Female and I really hate being called Sir. He tells me that its what he's addressed me as and I have to deal with it, unless I'm in Thailand in which case I'm stupid. By now I'm seething and for maybe the third time in the year I can feel my heart beating... \n\nRevenge Time\nI total up his order and then ask \"Will there be anything else Ma'am?\" he doesn't seem to hear me, but I haven't hit total yet either so he can't swipe his card. Again I ask \"Is there anything else you need Ma'am?\" This time he just gives me a disgusted look and says \"no\" so I total it for him and let him swipe his card. He makes another comment about my being a \"Sir\" so I hit cancel on the register canceling his order, cancel the order, and then make my busy (and therefore less than pleasant) Store Manager come check this individual out. Before walking away I tell him \"Have a nice day Ma'am\"", "summary": "Customer refuses to use proper gender phrasing for cashier, she returns the favor and then cancels his order so the manager has to check him out."} {"id": "t3_1slds1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 7 years, just broke up and I need to vent", "post": "I just broke up with the only guy I have ever dated yesterday. We were together for seven years and he has been my best, and for a while, only friend. But I had to do it. I wasn't happy anymore. He has a good heart but is very weird when it comes to relationships. He would always find something to start a fight over, always finding ways of guilting and blaming me for things I didn't even do. We were fighting at least once a month over things that no one should ever get angry about. I finally had enough, the stress became too much for me to handle and I ended it. It was so hard to do but even though it hurts like hell I already feel some relief. His best friend and I have become good friends over the past year and he supports me fully. He has seen how my ex has treated me and told me it was in my best interest that I go ahead and end it. It feels good to know that even his best friend sees how my ex has treated me and doesn't like it. I may feel extremely lonely right now and that I will never find someone else, but I know that that isn't true. I just have to do my best to push through this and stay strong.", "summary": "Broke up with boyfriend of seven years, his best friend supports my decision and I have to stay strong and not let the loneliness get the best of me."} {"id": "t3_14g1t6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU my class presentation.", "post": "So today my project team and I were giving a presentation. It was about a big multinational's operations in Asia. I spoke about the company's strong focus on food products, and that it should instead focus more on personal care products. \nThen someone (Asian girl) from the audience said:'' hold on, that company is already focussing heavily on personal care products, and not on food. You are saying the opposite of what is true.''\nI didn't really know how to respond. I wasn't terribly sure if what I had claimed was true, since I got it from some website, but she seemed to be certain. So this made me look like an idiot and it messed up my whole vibe. What made matters worse, is that one of my teammates suddenly felt the urge to cry out that the girl was right and I was 100% wrong and that I should've checked my sources better. The whole class + lecturer is staring and laughing at me at this point. The lecturer also feels that this is the right time to ask more detailed questions about all of this, I couldn't properly answer any. I endured and continued my story but I knew it was a lost cause. Pretty embarrassing.", "summary": "I looked like an idiot in front of my classmates and teacher because I didn't have my facts straight. TIFU."} {"id": "t3_524hff", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] and Gf[17F] broke up yesterday, ex drug addict and party advice.", "post": "So basically me and my girlfriend broke up yesterday. I'm a recovering Benzo addict and recently got clean for my ex. I'm not sure how I'm going to stay clean while I go through this. Benzos take away all my worries in life and for those who don't know they come with deadly consequences, If you stop taking them the withdrawals can kill you(I had a seizure two weeks ago from the withdrawals). I Just don't know how to get through this without them.\n\nNow my second question is do you think it would be detrimental to my recovery from this break up to go to a large outdoor dance party that I was going to go to with my ex? I already bought the ticket and I wanna go to meet some new girls but my worst fear is I'm going to see her there, what do you guys think?", "summary": "Any Advice for a recovering addict to stay clean during a break up? Would it be a bad idea to go to a large outdoor party that I was originally going to go with to my ex?"} {"id": "t3_3lcm9b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [27 F] boyfriend [29 M] uses weed to numb his feelings. Do we have a future or am I just kidding myself?", "post": "Throwaway because he will read this. I would really appreciate some honesty, fellow Redditors. I can't see straight because I'm too close to the situation. \n\nI've been with my boyfriend for a year now. I've always known that he smokes weed, he has been smoking since age 13, and a lot, probably about 6 or 7 times a day currently. He's the same sober as he is high as far as I can see, so until I recognised his patterns it didn't bother me much: I saw it like cigarettes. \n\nSince we've been together, I've noticed that whenever we have a conversation that's even slightly emotionally stressful, he will reach straight for his stash. This happens every single time - when I am sad about something and I lean on him for advice, when he is sad about something, when someone asks him an uncomfortable question, anything that makes him feel bad, he has to smoke. That's just how he deals. And when he's having a bad time he will stay up until 2am smoking. \n\nRecently we had dinner with my extended family and my aunt asked him if he was moving out of his parents house any time soon (he still lives with them) - it was an innocent question but I know it made him feel like a loser, and he immediately ran out of there and smoked a joint outside. \n\nI care for him so much. But I'm concerned. I want a future eventually with a husband and kids and the whole 9. But I want to be with somebody who will be there for me emotionally, and I'm worried my boyfriend can't even be there for himself. I've tried talking to him about his weed consumption, and why it's so excessive, but he either shuts down, is rude to me or becomes aggressive. I still want to be with him though and I wonder if I'm overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing. After all everyone has bad habits. Do we have a future together or am I being delusional?", "summary": "My boyfriend copes with life's problems by smoking weed. Should I consider spending my life with him or am I being delusional?"} {"id": "t3_4q8jik", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16M] still miss my ex [16F] over two years and has caused small amount of depression", "post": "I will try to keep this short. Have you ever met a girl that was perfect in every way? And then she was taken from you with out you wanting for to end? That's what happened. \n\nSo back in spring 2014, I went to a Springfield trip. When we were heading back, me and my friend started talking to these two girls. We had fun talking but he stopped. It was just me, her (my ex), and the other girl. We chatted for a while. My ex and I exchanged Facebook's. Yes I know. Childish. Later on we started talking and we started video chatting everyday. A month later it got serious. We were in love. I actually felt like I loved her. Later on I met up with her at her house to meet up. Yea. We really liked each other. \n\nLater when highschool for freshman started approaching, we were worried that we would get too busy. While we were in a relationship, I was moving. 100 miles away. When highschool started, we got busy. I missed her. After a month, I talked to her about how girls kept \"shipping\" me.\n\nShe told me that it seems like you have your situation handled and we gotten busy. She put me down gently. That's what she thought. It was horrible emotionally. \n\nI tried dating other girls but they were either not like her or they didn't work out. No one wanted real relationships too. Highschool is full of bubblegum relationships. The girl I broke up with, we still talked. Often. \n\nTime travel to this year. I started talking to her and she has become an emotional mess because she has dated guys but they would break her heart in a week or so. I gave her a hint that I still want her and she appreciates it but she said she is a mess. Minutes later I ask her if she wanted to meet up this summer. She said yes.", "summary": "I miss my ex over 2 years. She was perfect. Can't compare her to other people. How to get over my ex or get her back?"} {"id": "t3_2adask", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my FWB [25 F] of 2 months - Not sure if should insist or let it go", "post": "Hi reddit,\n\nI recently broke up with my FWB as I started developing feelings for her. Decided to ask her if we we're on the same page and unfortunately got a 'no' in reply.\n\nThe one thing that it's bothering me and makes me wonder a lot is the several signs I got from her during this \"relationship\"\n\n- Told me at the start that we shouldn't hang out with her friends because it \"might be weird\" but would still tell me to join her and them whenever they went out and one time when she was at a female friends place (because I didn't have any plan that night and would probably stay in)\n\n- Asked me out of nowhere \"how's my tinder doing\" and suggested that she could give me advice on it but quickly said \"better not\". When asked why she said \"It's weird... maybe\"\n\n- Even when on her period, she would invite me over to her place to watch a movie and cuddle. \n\n- Always sweet even when she warned me before that she might be in an terrible mood.\n\n- When I told our mutual friend that we were \"seeing each other\" he replied that it was expected (been debating if I should ask him why did he thought that....)\n\nHonestly, I'm not looking for a SO right now but I really enjoy hanging out with her. She's my type of girl and I find it hard to believe that she doesn't have feelings for me.\n\nShould I take a step back and try to conquer her or just let it go ?\n\nI would like to stay friends with her despite knowing that it will be hard... unfortunately :\\", "summary": "Ended FWB because expressed feelings for her but not sure if I should try to turn a \"no\" into a \"yes\" or just let it go"} {"id": "t3_15npyb", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Am I over Vanguarding?", "post": "Everyone always seems to recommend Vanguard funds and when I did the research for quite a few things, their expenses really are significantly lower. The returns haven't been bad either. I'm wondering if when we talk about diversification, if that also means not having all my money with Vanguard funds -- here's how I'm exposed to Vanguard right now:\n\n* 401k --> 100% Vanguard Target Retirement\n* Roth IRA --> 80% VFIAX (Vanguard 500 Admiral) and 20% VGHCX (Healthcare fund)\n* Regular brokerage for savings (extra savings) --> 90% VFIAX and some individual stocks for nostalgic reasons (<10%)\n* 529 plan for kids --> Vanguard age-based option through my state's 529 manager\n\nMy employer luckily still offers a pension, which represents a bulk of my retirement savings and will be my primary source of retirement income.", "summary": "All my non-pension savings (retirement, 529, other investments) are with Vanguard. Is that bad?"} {"id": "t3_2zr2dr", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[m/21] do I tell my crush [f/21] of 9+ years how I feel about her", "post": "I met this girl around 10 years ago and have liked (maybe even loved) her ever since. She has almost always had a boyfriend and we've always been good friends. We would hang out often and I've come close to telling her how I feel a few times. Well 3 years ago I moved to a different state and we stopped talking completely for no reason other than distance I guess. I often think of her and recently I decided to text her and see how she was doing. We texted back and forth for a couple of days, mainly small talk. She's doing well and has another boyfriend, etc. so my question is should I just tell her how I feel? Would it even have any meaning now? I don't want to put her in an awkward position and not speak to her for another 3 years. And how would I even bring it up?", "summary": "do I inform my long time crush that I've barely spoken to in 3 years(who has a bf) of my feelings for her."} {"id": "t3_4omc4a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19M] girlfriend [21F] of 14 months broke up with me a few months ago and now I love her more than ever", "post": "So a bit of backstory. Me and my ex-girlfriend met in work almost 2 years ago, I was 18, she was 20. We instantly hit it off and I asked her out after a month, she said yes.\n\nThings went pretty well for most of it. She was the first person I had sex with and I was her first boyfriend who treated her right. But the last 2 or 3 months of our relationship became a little bit rocky. I worked a lot and she had University so we struggled to see each other. I'm also not much of a texter but I really tried for her because I know she wanted to talk to me even though it wasn't enough.\n\nA few times in those months I myself questioned whether we where meant to be together but whenever I thought about not having her in my life I felt sick. I knew I still loved her. But back in mid March she texted me telling me we had to meet up because she wanted to tell me something in person. I told her that all I could think was that she either cheated on me or was breaking up with me, so really I forced her into breaking up with me over text.\n\nThe first few days where kind of shit but I got over her relatively quickly, and after a week I wasn't really thinking about her at all. But about 2 weeks ago someone mentioned something to do with her and all these feelings I had for her instantly came rushing back like a tidal wave and I felt sick knowing she didn't love me anymore.\n\nSo I've basically spent the last 2 weeks with the intense feeling of butterflies in my stomach because I love this person so much that I can't stop thinking about them but knowing they don't love me back.\n\nI have the opportunity to go to a wedding we where both invited to when we where dating (we both know the people getting married) but since she's a bridesmaid she's obviously going to be there so it's kinda been taken for granted that I'm not going even though I still work with the bride and everyone I work with (about 70 people) is going. I don't know if I should go or not.\n\nAny and all advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks!", "summary": "I still love my ex-girlfriend and cant get over her. I'm invited to a wedding that she's a bridesmaid at, should I go? And what do I do in general?"} {"id": "t3_22oxck", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Dog overcoming her fears, one self aware human at a time.", "post": "Our Penny has always hated the car since the day we adopted her. She was a 2 year old rescue, and had almost no exposure to the car before we got her. We felt bad every time we drove around with her, and she was miserable, stressed, and often vomited. We thought she got motion sick.\n\nWhat we realized is that she didn't know how to handle the movements of a car, so she flopped around and fell constantly, and was generally very unstable. So the only time we ever did drive her somewhere was to the vet.\n\nRecently I've been taking her to doggy daycare during the day, and she absolutely loves it there. Combine that with the fact that I've been driving like a total grandma taking curves, turns, and stops as gently as I can. To the point where I feel bad for the people who drive behind me. Since then Penny has been perfectly cool in the car and has even started to lay down and taken naps while I drive!\n\nI'm quite happy that she's learning to hate the car less, and that I'm learning how to make it a better experience for her. And I wanted to share.", "summary": "Dog hated car because her humans were unaware jerks who drove like assholes and she didn't feel stable or safe. We are learning how to be better humans for our dog."} {"id": "t3_32losk", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "First Text Question!", "post": "So I started talking to this girl on tinder today. It was probably the best that a tinder convo has ever gone for me. Eventually I had to go, so I asked for her number which she gave me.\n\nI texted her like 20 minutes later with my name and said it had been nice talking to her. Nothing warranting a reply directly, but I guess I was kind of expecting one. It's been a good few hours since the initial text.\n\nMy plan was to text her tomorrow and ask her to do something, but I feel as though I should refrain from contacting her again until she's sent me something in reply?", "summary": "What should I do if there's no reply to my \"Hi, this is jazzbee. Was great talking with you, hope you have a nice evening\" text within 24 hours?"} {"id": "t3_1bww1y", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Dating my sister's doppelganger, Is this weird? [late twenties]", "post": "The first thing a family member said to me when they first met her was, \"She looks like exactly like trill_away's sister!\" \n\nNow, we started dating via OKCupid. Both upper twenties and looking to settle down and start a family (not ASAP, but eventually.) She messaged me first, so it's not like I saw her across a room and thought, \"this girl looks like my sister. Let me go pick her up.\" Far from it. We do, however, get along *really* well\n\nWe've been dating for two weeks, roughly. After the first date, I was a little weirded out about the whole situation, but after the second date, I could see enough differences between them that I got comfortable with the idea of dating her. I do get these weir moments though when we're talking where their mannerisms are exactly the same.\n\nWe get along great. My family, however, after first meeting her, is concerned about the psychological effects of dating someone that looks exactly like my sister.\n\nI'm also afraid that if they ever get in the same room together, my sister and girlfriend looking at each other face-to-face might create some sort of deep universal chasm that will destroy the earth. \n\nWhat do I do Reddit? Has anyone been in a similar situation? What happened?", "summary": "My sister's doppelganger might be \"the one,\" but I'm afraid her doppelgangerness will poison our relationship."} {"id": "t3_2igcvo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] dating [25 F] of about 2 months , receiving mixed messages, need an outside perspective.", "post": "We've known, very little, each other for a few years (only once or twice a year group meet-ups though.) We hooked up 2 months ago and kept in touch and went on some dates while exchanging plenty of texts/sexts.\n\nAt the time of the hook-up, she had just taken on a new (2nd) job that demands a lot of her time in the evenings/weekends while working normal hours in the weekday. Which is all fine and we talked about it being slightly difficult meeting up but she said wanted to date, sharing suggestive texts during the busy weeks to keep things interesting.\n\nThe weekend before last, we had organised a day to see each other several days in advance, but half an hour before, she has to cancel due to a work request she couldn't turn down. (interviewing musicians and music scene). Which is all true, and I can understand since this is what she's always wanted to do this as a career, and suggests meeting during the weekday where she has a full free day to spend more time with me (we only ever had hour long dates as both our schedules conflicted which have gone well as she has stated that).\n\nIt comes to the day before but I get no response from her about the date and I just carry on my usual day to day stuff. Three days later I get a text saying sorry for no contact, that she has been very busy and all over the place, and, can we put the dating aspect on hold an be friends. (I have yet to respond as im not sure what to say, I can understand taking it slow but am I being led on a string or being easily let down??)\n\nJust to note, she had been in a long relationship that finished a year ago that was not socially fulfilling/boring and with her new found freedom wanted to get out and enjoy life, which is now non-stop and she seems a lot more energetic but also demands a lot, which of course I admire her for as we both have similar life goals that we're going for and she has just gotten into a new path in her career that she is aiming for.", "summary": "Wants to date, is interested, flirty but keeps pushing me back and now, wants to be friends due to her demanding hectic schedule. "} {"id": "t3_4c889z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] feeling frustrated with my friend [20 F]", "post": "I asked out this girl at work. Was the first girl i ever asked out, she said no. Which felt like \"your not good enough\" each time i saw her, so I tried to put distance while still being her friend, didn't work too well, still fell for again. \nSo tried putting more space while showing no hard feelings, but doing this is causing her to say stuff like \"I need you in my life\". When we are talking on our work phones i hear people in the background teasing her about the way she is talking to me. There are other things she does that is making me feel she is interested and start to fall for her again.", "summary": "How do I tell her that I thought i could be friends, but i can't it just feels like the worst kind of tease?"} {"id": "t3_34faed", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by (apparently) using a Dyson Airblade tap in a restaurant the wrong way", "post": "So I was in a fancy restaurant today and in the bathroom they had one of these completely unnecessary [Dyson Airblade taps] Dyson airblade taps where the hand dryer is integrated into the tap.\n\nThis is actually supposed to *PREVENT* water splatter across the floor from people walking with their dripping hands to an external hand dryer (First World problems, I know :/ )\n\nAnyway, I haven't seen this kind of hand dryer/tap before, so I had no idea how to use it. So I put a bunch of this foamy luxury soap kind of shit on my hands and washed them, since I am a civilized person who washes his pooey hands after taking a shit.\n\nThen I put my hands beneath these two bars and was shocked by that MASSIVE BLAST of air coming out of these slits. I reflexively snapped my hands back from the sink, leading to the airblast spreading the foamy residue water left in the sink ALL OVER THE GODDAMN MIRROR, the floor, the sink frame, my face and pretty much everything else.\n\nIf there had been blood instead of water, it would have looked as if someone had been shot in the head with a shotgun in there. \n\nMy hands where still drippingly wet of course, so I put them under that phallic fancy brushed aluminum piece of shit again, but even though I used it right this time (according to the video as I figured later) it still unavoidibly formed an air vortex beneath my hands and the sink, still spreading foam all over the sink frame. Not that much this time, but far enough that the desired effect of preventing splatter is gone.\n\nNeedless to say, after returning to my table I paid my bill immediately and fled.\n\nIn hindsight, I think that this is a common occurence with these taps, since the goddamn air blast is so freakin strong that it's not possible to avoid the vortex.", "summary": "Maloperated a tap-integrated hand dryer that is designed to prevent water splatter in a way that it caused foamy water to splatter all over the goddamn bathroom"} {"id": "t3_36bk5j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Advice] Me(M27) and my gf(F25) stopped being intimate and I want to figure out a way to help get her back in the mood", "post": "Recently my girlfriend has had some legal trouble and it had been a hellish 3 weeks or so for us romantically. I've found that I need to give her more space and respect that she's going through a hard time and doesn't want to have sex and barely wants to be intimate anymore. I understand it's just that I am feeling like she doesn't want me anymore. Recently I've been allowed to kiss her and touch her more. Maybe this is a sign of good things to come? Do I continue to give her space and try not to get butt hurt that I've been masturbating almost every day for a month? Is there anyone who can give me advice because I am coming up empty.", "summary": "girlfriend has stopped almost all intimacy for the passed month. Is there any one who can give me advice to help her get her groove back?"} {"id": "t3_1ujja6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 F] and my SO [26 M] are celebrating our year anniversary, and neither of us can think of anything to do. Help!", "post": "Not sure if this is the place to be posting this, but I'm really desperate. Our original plan was to go on a five day cruise, but he switched jobs and there are some issues with getting the time off. We were thinking about doing a 3 day cruise instead, but I'm not sure that I want to pack a cruise into three days. Does anyone have any ideas that might be able to be packed into three days and not cost an arm and a leg? We've had a crazy year and I want something special to seal this one and look forward to the next. Also, my elderly father lives with us, so bonus points if it gets us away from that situation for a night or so.", "summary": "My boyfriend and I have a 3 day window to do something to celebrate our one year anniversary. I want it to be special, get us out of the house, and not cost a bundle. HELP!"} {"id": "t3_2ut1xn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25f] just found out my BF [37M] has an ex wife he never told me about", "post": "Title pretty much says it all. We've been together for a year and a half. I knew he was married and has a kid which I'm ok with. And a few times he's talked about his ex from a few years prior to his marriage. The most he ever said about it was that it didn't work out. Last night i was looking through an old stack of photos and found fucking wedding photos with another woman who wasn't the ex wife i was already aware of. I started to freak but took some time to cool down before i talked to him. He said it was a mistake that he was pressured into by his parents prior to being deployed to Iraq . He married her a month before deployment and the relationship lasted for only about 2 months after he returned before he realized it was a mistake and ended it. He says he never told me because it was a very dark time for him and he still has a great deal of guilt associated with the whole situation.\n\nHis explanation seems reasonable enough and I think i sort of get where he's coming from. But...fuck. I feel like shit about it. It doesn't bother me that he was married and it didn't work out. I'm upset because in spite of being very open (or so i thought) about our past, etc. He never thought to tell me that he has divorced not once but twice. And i don't know if he ever would have told me if I hadn't stumbled upon that photo. What's worse is that we live on the same property as his parents so i see them every day and neither of them apparently thought to mention it either. \n\nSo here's what I need to know. Am i making a bigger deal about this than I should? I think it's reasonable to be hurt and upset. I've been fully honest with him throughout our relationship and this feels like a serious breach of trust. I'm not sure where to go from here. I knew about the ex but he never told me that they were married. And as i see it lying by omission is still lying. Ugh...advice, anyone?", "summary": "BF never told me he was married to his ex and I'm hurt that he and his parents kept it from me."} {"id": "t3_3wvqfv", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[TX] Daughter is being kept from me, need help ASAP", "post": "I'll get to the point, the mother of my child isn't a good person. She routinely threatens violence against me, has a history of mental instability (was in a mental institution less than a year ago for about a week), and no matter how hard i work to prove that I'm a fit father, she see's me as the person i was years ago before the child and does anything to spite me. Her most recent example of this is also the most extreme, she insists her new boyfriend is a better fit to be a father and has forbid me from picking her up on my days (every weekend, Friday after class, until Monday when i drop her off at day care on the mothers side of town)\n\nAt first I thought, fuck her. I pay for day care. I'll just pick her up and take her. Then, i came to my senses and realized that would not be fair to her, the mother, and I also could be charged with kidnapping, i think.\n\nI'm 20, my daughter is 3, the mom is 21. I live at home, go to school, and work a graveyard shift job to save for my own place once I begin my hopeful career, daily things and toys for my daughter, and pay for her day care. Needless to say, I'm paying for my mistakes, I have little money for luxury, and absolutely not enough for a decent lawyer or any kind of court fee.\n\nAll I want is to be able to see my daughter . it's been two weeks. I've considered calling the cops and saying something, but I wont be taken seriously. I don't know what to do, I just want to see my kid.\n\nI'm a good guy, clean record, not so much as a speeding ticket. I'm just very, very poor. And very, very desperate.\n\nI'm just hoping someone can guide me in the right direction. I'm so fucking angry. I changed who i was to be a good dad and this woman thinks she's god and can just take her from me at a whim.\n\nI'm sorry for ranting, I'm very emotional right now.", "summary": "daughter being kept from me because mother wants to let her new boyfriend play dad, don't want to do anything stupid, very poor and cant afford legal help. Need direction."} {"id": "t3_1k5un7", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "New dog owner here, feeling unliked by my dog.", "post": "My wife and I just adopted a new dog about a week and a half ago. She's a little over a year old, and she's a Yorkie-dachshund mix. When we got her, she was glued to both of us all the time. Followed us everywhere, cried when we weren't around, etc. \n\nWithin the past few days or so I've noticed that she only does this with my wife now, and I have no idea why. Nothing has changed in terms of what we do with her. We both play with her, feed her, take her for walks, etc. Sometimes we do these things together, sometimes individually. I really couldn't say that one of us does any more than the other in these areas.\n\nHere's an example. We crate the dog when nobody is home, so we did this before the two of us went out today to get groceries. When we came back home, our dog was very excited. I opened her crate, but she blew right by me and ran up to my wife. She didn't even acknowledge I was there.\n\nI've been spending a lot more time with her in general because I'm a teacher and have been home with her more. Might that have something to do with it? Could she be getting bored with the person who is around more often, and gets more excited around my wife because she sees less of her?\n\nThis is my first dog. My wife grew up with them, but even she's stumped as to why this is happening. Our dog isn't mean towards me (growling, etc.), just seemingly apathetic unless I'm the one making an effort. In other words, she'll play with me if I initiate it. Otherwise, she kind of ignores me.\n\nAny thoughts?", "summary": "Dog seems to like the Mrs. more than me despite me giving her plenty of attention and sharing in the responsibilities equally."} {"id": "t3_2w74mp", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Girl I Like is Not Responding to Texts.", "post": "So I've been crushing on this girl for a while, and I think I finally have a chance (terrible past relationship experiences, and I'm not exactly a hit with the ladies).\n\nI have a lot of evidence that she is in to me, like:\n\n1. Her friends have teased me about liking her even though I hadn't told them I talked to her, meaning that she has mentioned me to her friends.\n2. She invited me to a party that she was going to, and her best friend who was also there told her to sit next to me on the couch. I believe that her friend is trying to help this girl be with me.\n3. We all talk at school and have great laughs and what not.\n4. she is a bit awkward around me, which is saying something because I'm really fucking awkward.\n\nthe reason I bring up the four points is to sort of clear up any doubt that she likes me, because there is a bit of a problem. This is probably a minor thing, but sometimes she just stops responding to my texts. I'll message her, and get no response, but she will update her story on snapchat of her watching TV or just sitting on the couch doing nothing. I'm nervous because I don't want to spam her phone with texts and act like I'm desperate or something. I really want to talk to her so I can build up some sort of relationship (and I really enjoy just chatting with her). What do I do? Does she not like me like I thought? Or should I just not worry about it?", "summary": "Girl I like who I'm sure likes me, isn't responding to my texts when I know she isn't super busy. I don't want to spam her phone or anything. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_ea39y", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "25-year-old trying to have sex for the first time...Failed", "post": "Out of nowhere a girl I really, really liked for a long time called me up to hang out. We went out, had a great time and went back to my place. It started getting more apparent that she was not interested in leaving at any time soon, so I (rightly) assumed that she wanted sex.\n\nNow, for reasons I can't really understand, I'm still a virgin. Many opportunities presented themselves, but I was never confident enough to take them. Maybe a little chickenshit if you will. However I really wanted to take a big step in my life that night, but I couldn't get it done.\n\nNo matter what I did, I couldn't do it. I tried to masturbate - nothing. She gave me a hand - nothing. She gave me a blowjob - nothing. This girl is a hot as hell and I couldn't do anything to satisfy her. I just licked her cunt for a while.\n\nShe told me it was fine, that these things happen and that I probably had something on my mind or I was stressed, so I had to come up with a story how I was really stressed about something or other.\n\nWhen she comes over next, I want to be ready and I want to fuck her brains out. What do I do in the meantime?", "summary": "hot girl calls me up, we go out, had a massive boner all night, until she took her clothes off"} {"id": "t3_36h8j1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "my [21F] bf's [22M] brother [25M] with disabilities is living in hoarding situation, and I need advice!", "post": "We've been dating for about two years, and only just recently met his family last night, and his adult brother (22 years old) who lives with them and has moderate/severe autism (he has a volunteer job, is communicative at times, but spends a lot of time withdrawn in himself. I'm not sure if he's legally their dependent or not) and both him and his parents are hoarders. \n\nThey're not terrible people, they're all kind and generous, but what I saw was horrific, and that was after (I was told via my bf) *an extensive cleaning*. So I know their normal situation is much, much worse. I was afraid to eat or drink anything at their house and was clearly in shock and probably made the worst first impression, but what's more important right now is that I really think Adult Protective Services need to be called.\n\nBut I've never been in this sort of situation, and I have no clue what the fallout is going to be from this. Will they help in the form of councilors and clean up, or straight up remove the brother from their home? Should I tell my boyfriend? If I don't, will it be traced back to me? Will calling even *do* anything, as the brother's a hoarder too? The local APS website provides nothing substantial other than their phone number and operating hours.\n\nDoes anyone who's gone through something similar have any advice on what will happen when I call? I'm kind of just lost right now.", "summary": "boyfriend's autistic adult brother is living in a terrible hoarding situation, and is a hoarder himself. Have decided to call APS, but what's in the future?"} {"id": "t3_3ks6yc", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trusting my mechanic", "post": "This literally just happened to me, so suck it! \n\nThis whole story starts last summer, when I had my car at the mechanic for the mandatory biannual check up that we have here in Norway. I have a 29y old car that went out of production in 1990, so almost no pro garage has any real knowlesge about my car. My car passed the inspection with flying colors, so I presumed everything was fine.\n\nHere the real fuck up begins, because apparently the garage forgot to submit the results, so in the police' database, my car was now listed as not road legal, and should have its licence plates removed.\n\nCome today I've been at a cabin with some friends, and it was time to go home, so I loaded up my stuff and drove to town to fuel up before I were to start my 3 hour drive back home. A police cruiser was parked at that very gas station and were routinely running plates when mine came up as not road legal.\n\nDuitily the police officer walked up to me and told me what was up, and that he had to take my plates. So I just had to drive my car to the station, take off the plates, and now I'm stranded here. Cool. The next train leaves for home in 2 hours...", "summary": "Trusted my mechanic to do routine paperwork, lost my plates because he didn't. Now I'm stuck waiting for the train home."} {"id": "t3_3ensb1", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Should i get back with my ex? How do i do that?", "post": "I (19F) was with this guy (19M) for over a year. We would fight alot but we were happy, i loved his family, and he loved mine. But once highschool finished, he started working full time and i was studying, it seemed like we were in two different places. We were looking like we were going to end, then my grandma died, and i needed his support, but he ended it anyway. Its been 4 months since then and we havent really spoken. And for both of us its seemed to be a string of really shit dates/one night stands. I messaged him two days ago. And weve been talking ever since. Last night we were on the phone for 5 hours.", "summary": "Lots of fighting = shitty breakup, havent spoken for 4 months, but now we have feels like nothing has changed."} {"id": "t3_2qv31c", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Am I being unfair or is it the other way around?", "post": "So my girlfriend (25) and myself (26) have been together for about 6 months. We fight, we argue, we make up and we have sex. As of late though, she has been wanting a kid. I said I was not ready and she lost her shit. I mean broke up with me, blocked me on Facebook...even posted an ad on Craigslist titled, I want to get married and have a baby. That kinda hurt me a lot. We made up somehow and now I think she feels she can control me. Yesterday my buddy said he was going to propose to his girlfriend on New Years eve. I called my lady and said hey you gotta clear your plate, he is a long time friend and he needs me there for support. She said no, not going, then posted on Facebook I was just leaving her alone on NYE. What can I do about this? Am I being unfair?", "summary": "Do I go to my friends on NYE or with her? If I comply with her does she hold all the power"} {"id": "t3_1907mh", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do you deal with lack of closure?", "post": "My ex and I have been apart from a few months now and she's seeing someone new.\n\nShe wants to talk to me again and she feels like everything is okay between us. I'm a little put off because she left without a reason, has never tried to make amends and now wants to be friends.\n\nI'm just not content with dropping all hope of an explanation and just being friends. But do I even bother at this point? I guess the logical thing would to be happy for her and keep my nose out of it. If she wants to talk I guess I could call her up, give her the update and just be friends, as much as I can.\n\nBut even though all that makes sense, am I wrong to still a bit upset over it? I don't know that I want to hear about how amazing her new boyfriend is. I don't really have anything to say to her.", "summary": "My ex wants to talk to me again, I don't have closure, am I acting like butt hurt fool if I don't talk to her or do I deserve an explanation before deciding on a friendship?"} {"id": "t3_149hnr", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Help with court procedures on speeding tickets", "post": "So a few days I get pulled over for doing 46 in a 40 (end of the month quota time) and a ticket is issued. I get pretty lucky on these next parts. \n\n1.The ticket says 54 in a 40 so that is obviously different from what he told me.\n\n2.From where I turned out at there isn't a speed limit sign for quite a ways up and going the opposite direction (which is the way I usually travel on this road if I do at all, was just picking up my boss that day) turn into 55 to start getting into highway traffic.\n\n3.Went to go check for speed limit signs and the only one was spray painted out. (thank you random teenager!!!)\n\nSo how do I go about this now? Court date is the 20th. What questions should I ask the judge, should I even mention the officer told me the wrong speed? I feel like they'll take his word over mine even though I took notes of the conversation right afterwards. What about there not being a limit sign anywhere where I came off from?", "summary": "got a speeding ticket and know I was in confines of the law due to technicalities. How do I handle the court"} {"id": "t3_384xnj", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "Desperate to get into Boston", "post": "On the 27th of this month I'm taking a bus to Sturbridge MA from Cleveland and then from there me and a dear friend of mine were planning on going to Boston for two days. We've made the reservations but due to unforeseen circumstances we have not a single person able to drive us down there because I will have taken a bus to them and in addition to that neither of us are licensed to drive. \n\nWe want to go to Boston on the 30th and the 1st of the next month but because of the lack of ride and parental issues we're stuck having to travel in and out both days. We cannot cancel these plans as we already have paid for a majority of them and now it's just a matter on finding a way INTO Boston and back again over the course of two days without spending an arm and a leg and spending more time commuting than actually enjoying the city. \n\nI've already considered trains but even then simply Googling the route shows we'll have to spend 6 hours roundtrip and maybe even more with a majority of the trip being on MORE BUS. If there's REALLY no other way, I guess we'll have top do this but i'd REALLY prefer not to.\n\nI'm 19 and their 17 so there's a bit of information that may help I guess. If you need ANYTHING else to help assist please feel free to ask since I want to have this all hammered out ASAP before me leaving for the trip draws too close.", "summary": "I need to get from Sturbridge MA to Boston MA without a car, without going broke, and without spending more time going than being."} {"id": "t3_4vvgd6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am worried that my boyfriend [32M] and I [22F] (of a year) will run into problems because he doesn't enjoy being active or getting outside.", "post": "My boyfriend and I get along very well and have a great connection. We have so much fun together and we're always laughing. The only issue is that I tend to be an active person who loves to hike, bike, play frisbee, fish, and just be outside in general.\n\nHe is the opposite. I have noticed since we started dating that I don't do these activities as much anymore because I enjoy being around him so much that I have somewhat given them up (stupid... I know). He works a lot of hours (on his feet the whole time) so I understand why he doesn't want to do these things. But it's starting to bum me out that on our days off we end up watching TV, going out to eat, or getting drinks. We are both very social/outgoing people, but he would rather go sit at a bar or try a new restaurant (which I enjoy too!) but sometimes I wanna get out and be active together. \n\nThe last guy I was seeing (we didn't connect emotionally so it ended), loved being outdoors and staying active so I never sat on a couch. I know I can do these activities with other friends but all of my friends have now moved across states. I'm trying to connect with some people from work as of now. I know can do these things alone too, but it's such a bummer not enjoying some of my passions with my SO. I don't want to change him or his interests, and I also don't want to end it. Mostly I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience? Would *you* end a relationship over something like this? Any ideas how maybe I can talk to him about my concerns in a nice way (he is a bit overweight so it could become a sensitive topic)?", "summary": "Boyfriend doesn't like being active or doing outdoor activities- and I wish we could do these things together. How can I talk to him about my concerns?"} {"id": "t3_33ontk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] with my girlfriend [22F] 4 years, she wants to join the Navy. I'm opposed.", "post": "My gf of 4 years has been recently going to see a recruiter for the Navy. I know I should not tell her what to do with her life, and I truly don't want to. But I am strongly opposed to this due to the high risk of sexual assault in the military for women. Not just that but she would be gone for long periods of time without me being able to see her, which quite frankly I don't think our relationship can handle. \n\nA year and a half ago she had an affair with another man, and I decided to take her back after she pleaded with me. I told her that I would try to trust her and we've been working on it since. Things have been rocky but I really do love her. I've forgiven her for cheating on me but it honestly has made me much more insecure than I used to be. \n\nSo is it messed up for me to be against her joining? Can it all be chalked up to my insecurities? How do I deal with them? I don't want to lose her but I feel like this is a dealbreaker for me.", "summary": "Gf wants to join Navy, don't think relationship can handle it. Do I convince her otherwise, move on, or attempt to accept it?"} {"id": "t3_1foy7p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[23 M] and my [23 F] are beginning to have problems because of her depression I don't know what to do.", "post": "My gf is going through some really tough times. She did terrible in her courses in her last semester and now stands no chance at the graduate school she wanted to go to. To make matters worse she's unappreciated at her job and makes the least money at her position despite being at her place of work the longest of any other employee there. So as things get worse for her instead of trying to fix things she's going into a spiraling depression and blaming things on me. I`ve tried giving her another job with my family to help her out but she had no desire to take it. Is there anything that I can do to help her besides telling her that she's toxic. I want to help the girl but because of her current depression I feel any talking to her about these problems will only cause our relationship to end. Before these things happened the relationship was strong for three years.", "summary": "GF has some severe depression caused by her own shortcomings, she's starting to blame me for her problems and is becoming chronically depressed. Is there anything I can do to help her or do I just have to try to weather the storm?"} {"id": "t3_3q4aci", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I (m17) get back with my ex (f17)", "post": "So two weeks ago my then girlfriend of 8 months and I broke up because I found out she was flirting and texting with some other guys after explicitly telling me she wasn't. Turns out she was also 'bored' with our relationship, granted this was 8 months in and she hadn't said a single thing to clue me into those feelings \n\nFast forward to yesterday. She writes me an essay about why she's learned her lesson and why she 'needs me in her life' and all that. She's also cut off all contact with the guy that she was flirting with. (I have a mutual friend verify this, so I'm fairly certain she's telling the truth.) \n\nNow I dunno if I should get back with her. I mean we've got a ton in common. Same taste in movies, books, music, same sense of humor. But I dunno if we can rebuild the trust that was lost in the first place. So what should I do relationships?\n\n(And yes, I'm fully aware that I could very well be putting too much thought into a simple high school relationship)", "summary": "My first gf and I broke up, two weeks later she wants to get back together and I'm on the fence. What do?"} {"id": "t3_4yr18s", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Should I stay or go?", "post": "Graduated college last December. Found an internship at the last minute in a role I wanted to be in, started that in January. I ultimately didn't get the role full-time. My boss, however, offered me another job that crossed over into four different areas of the company. I took this role in the middle of May and have been with the company since.\n\nSo far this job been pretty crappy and doesn't really prepare for me what I want to do next. Fix the copy machine, order supplies, IT support, pay bills, etc...\n\nHowever, i'm not sure if its okay to jump ship yet, or should I just try to finish out the year? I don't have another job offer yet, but if it did come what'd be best?\n\nFeel free to ask me more questions if you need more details/clarification.", "summary": "Trying to go into \"front office\" finance stuck in \"back office\"; FO Internship (4 to 5 months) ->BO Job (3 to 4 months so far) -> trying to get to a FO role."} {"id": "t3_2d6lk7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend wants to find herself", "post": "My (21M) girlfriend (19F) wants to find herself. \n\nBackstory\nWith been on and off for about 4 years and have been on for a solid 1 year now and it's the best it's been. She's recently gone away to work in the snowfields and decided that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, it was great before she left and it's only taking 6 weeks for her to make this decision. It was a pretty rough 6 weeks on the relationship. \n\nShe's been madly in love with me for the last 4 years and would of done anything for me and now it's like she doesn't want anything to do with me. I've just visited her at the snowfields and she was distant from the moment I got there, didn't want to be seen with me or introduce me to any of her friends there. \n\nShe swears there's no one else and she's never been the type of person to cheat, she's always obsessed over me and wanting me back during the off time in our relationship. \n\nWe also lived together so when comes back in a months time it's gonna be hard and I know she's gonna regret what she's done. We were gonna spend the rest of our lives together and now she wants to move away to a different city and go work in the snowfields all over the world to find herself. \n\nI guess my question is what do I do?\nDo I fight for her to not do this, give her the time she wants to find herself or just accept it and move on?\nI don't want to lose her :(", "summary": "Girlfriend was madly in love with me for 4 years, went away to work in snowfields, now doesn't want me and wants to find herself. Don't know how to deal with it."} {"id": "t3_l0fcj", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Should I have hope? (Boyfriend wants to be alone.)", "post": "So I'm not really sure how to start this but here goes -\n\nI've been dating this guy for a year and a half now. He is 21 and I'm 22 (f). I love him so much and he tells me all the time that he loves me and most of the time we are pretty amazing together...\n\n... But he wants to be alone at some stage in his life. I can understand that he doesn't want to commit to me and I don't want to either... I mean... I hope our relationship works out but it may not. It's just that it hurts so much when he tells me that he will be unhappy with his life if he doesn't spend time alone (I think he is thinking of travelling for a couple of years and living).\n\nHe says that I'm perfect but I came at the wrong time in his life. It just he seems so definite and I don't know how to react... Is this something that a lot of guys (maybe even girls too) feel and don't act on or is this something that will only end in disaster. Is there any hope at all?\n\nP.S. The reason this topic came up is because I am starting my phd at the start of next year and I don't know whether to go overseas or to stay with my current research group.", "summary": "I love my boyfriend and he loves me but apparently we met too early for him to cope with. I don't know whether to have hope."} {"id": "t3_2anheo", "subreddit": "books", "title": "Any advice for a lazy, easily distracted bookworm?", "post": "Hello there, /r/books! I have a small problem, and I was you guys can help me. But first a little background. \n\nI, and many people that know me, describe myself as a bookworm, because, what else, I love books. I my opinion, books are more entertaining and more enriching that TV or movies. But the problem is, while I enjoy *books*, I don't enjoy *reading* as much.\n\nWhat I mean is that I find the process of reading boring. I have a short attention span, am easily distracted, and, to be honest, very lazy. In my free time, while I would rather be reading, I usually find myself glued to the TV or my computer, or both at the same time. I find it difficult to just power down and pick up a book. \n\nWhen I do pick up a book, I find the process of reading so tedious and boring, that I have trouble concentrating and actually reading the thing. Sometimes I just sit staring at it, or put it down and go back to whatever it was I was doing before. \n\nAnd it doesn't stop at books. Despite me regularly being on the computer, I find reading Internet articles tedious as well, and can't concentrate, and usually exit the page before finishing the article. This problem of mine also makes it very hard for me to study and do homework. \n\nSo what I'm asking is do any of you fine people have any advice for lazy readers with short attention spans? I love books, reading is one of my favorite hobbies, when I finish a book I feel amazing, but at times I find it too hard to concentrate. So, can any of you guys help?", "summary": "I have a short attention span and I am lazy, and I find it hard to concentrate when reading. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_370umt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22f] Boyfriend [22M] doesn't always tell me where he's at or where he's headed. Am I right in being slightly bothered? Or am I too clingy?", "post": "Just some info: We've been together for 8 months now, and we don't live together.\n\nSo I realise that my boyfriend doesn't always tell me where he's at, even though I usually do. Especially because we mostly text back and forth during the day. For example, if I'm heading out for drinks or dinner with friends, in between conversations, I'll just let him know.\n\nHowever, when he's out with friends, sometimes he doesn't say anything, unless I ask \"So what're you doing?\". Like yesterday, he was still replying me at 3am. He usually goes to bed at the latest 1, so I asked him why he's up so late. He tells me he's at a friend's place and they're having a couple of drinks. I was a bit bothered, but not sure why, and not even sure if I was right in feeling annoyed.\n\nMaybe it bothers me because in my past 2 relationships my exes always told me where they were at, not in a overly obsessive way, but just out of courtesy like, oh I am hanging with so-and-so etc.\n\n**Anyway, so, I just wanted to ask, do you usually tell your SOs where you're headed to or where you're at, without them asking? Am I wrong in feeling bothered?", "summary": "Boyfriend doesn't really provide information on where he's at unless I ask, is it wrong I feel slightly bothered?"} {"id": "t3_2182n0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Do I[25F] give in to sexual desire and sleep with best friend[28M],or hold out to see if the feelings go deeper?", "post": "Lets do a bit of background first. Ive known him for nearly a decade, we have a speckled past of numerous sexual encounters however its never developed to anything more than that. We fell out over something trivial online a while ago and reconnected last month after he split from his ex. Its been great seeing him, ive definitely missed his company. There is quite a bit of flirting and we can both feel sexual tension in the air, but aside from that we mainly watch documentaries and smoke some doobs like friends.\n\nAnyway, just over a week ago he confessed he'd become more attracted to me recently, i told him id been feeling the same for him but it became confusing because i thought i had feelings for someone else too (turns out that guy is a douche). So we decided to not act on it, continue as normal and see if anything changes about the way we feel.\n\nWell, since then the sexual tension has become even more apparent. I have barely thought about my previous crush. But there are many complications to this. We talked further again last night and now i feel even more at ends. He has only recently become single and is unsure if his feelings for me are purely sexual or if theyre more. I told him Im scared of getting involved in something sexual when for me FWB only ever ends badly. And so the conclusion again is to do nothing but wait.\n\nIm feeling lost, a lot of men who ive met recently have only been interested in me sexually and i would hope for something more mature from him. Casual fun has lost its excitement and i need something real. He knows what I am looking for and doesnt want to let me down if it doesnt work out.", "summary": "Do i give in to sexual desire and sleep with best friend,or hold out to see if the feelings go deeper?"} {"id": "t3_h7cpi", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Am I a terrible person or is this irrational behavior?", "post": "Hey guys. Throwaway here.\n\nSo I've been seeing this girl for maybe two to three weeks. Been on maybe three or four dates with her. Last one we had, we ended up in bed together, which for me is pretty fast. I was a little weirded out by it but was not overly concerned. I figured it was just one of those things.\n\nI sms'ed her the next day about something or other, she replied amicably. I didn't think anything was wrong. Then we didn't have any contact for about three days (over the weekend). Today I had this email waiting for me:\n\n\"I take it from the lack of communication that you don't want anything to do with me any more. If I'm wrong, great. But I doubt it.\n\nI really thought you were better than this. I suggest that next time you just want to use someone for a one-off fuck, grow up and be up-front about it from the start. And if you lose interest, get over being a spineless creep and say you're not interested any more, instead of just going silent. Or maybe you just get a kick out of playing games with people's feelings (so this email will be a bonus, do enjoy the thrill of knowing you've upset me). Clearly you're just another devious play-acting cunt-rag.\"\n\nI've tried calling her, emailing her, she doesn't respond. I suspect she's blocked my number and spammed my email address.\n\nI really like(d) this girl, and I feel really bad. I know it's like Relationship 101 to call someone after you sleep with them, but I was actually genuinely busy and hadn't got round to it. Our relationship up to that point had been very casual. I fully intended to see her again. I didn't actually want to sleep with her, and I definitely wasn't trying to ditch her after I'd 'got what I wanted'. Am I wrong? Is she maybe a little bit irrational? How should I proceed?", "summary": "Hate mail from a girl after sleeping with her and not calling her soon enough afterwards. Do I deserve this level of hatred?"} {"id": "t3_u5hnd", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I tell my girlfriend she's too boring?", "post": "**CAVEAT - I'm going to sound like an arrogant douchebag. Let me preface this by stating that everything is said with the utmost of intended modesty. \n\nI've been dating my girlfriend for a bit over six months now, she's very attractive, very intelligent, and occasionally funny, other than this one problem, she'd be perfect. This problem was something that I ignored at my own peril at the start of the relationship, now it's biting me in the ass. \n\nQuite simply, my girlfriend is boring. During any kind of social engagement, she sits in the corner and doesn't talk to anybody except me. If she has something to say to somebody, she asks me to tell them. In private, she's demure to a fault, when she's not being indecisive she'll just agree with me. Whenever I ask her about why she's the way it is, she'll just tell me that she trusts me with whatever choice is being made, and I shouldn't worry about it, because it's impossible for her to get mad at me. \n\nAt this point, I'm ready to call it quits on the relationship - but she doesn't feel the same way. She's been nothing but dedicated to me and my needs for all things, except a real personality on my part. How do I let her go without damaging her feelings too badly?", "summary": "My girlfriend adores me, but I can't force her to have a personality. How do I break up with her nicely?"} {"id": "t3_15cmub", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why is everyone so upset about having \"armed guards\" at schools?", "post": "As long as it isn't the actual teachers with guns, I don't see the problem. My school (which I went to from elementary through high school) had 2-3 \"armed\" security guards that were either off-duty or retired police officers. They conducted traffic before and after school, made sure there weren't any suspicious people around, and one would always be on campus during the night making sure no one broke in or did anything they weren't supposed to. They were all very nice and their main job was to keep the campus secure, safe, and help out where necessary. One time I locked my keys in my car and they helped me get them out and a few times I left important class material in my locker and they let me in to get it after hours. It's not like they sit outside classrooms with AKs and M4s. They just drive around in their security vehicle and say hi, work sports games, and keep children safe from potential predators. We could easily have a budget for 1-3 security guards (not dumb security guards, but off-duty/retired cops) if we cut back on our excessive military or other government spending.", "summary": "Had security guards at my school (off-duty/retired cops). They were cool. Don't want teachers with guns. "} {"id": "t3_4zcxcb", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I would rather be homeless than work. How do I motivate myself to work?", "post": "Like the title says, I'd rather be homeless than work. Prepare yourselves; I'm going to sound like a huge whiner. I have a really good job, pays well, only work 4 days a week, awesome PTO and benefits, and I like my coworkers (with the exception of my boss, but I don't see him often) but I dread going. \n\nI'm not passionate about anything. I don't get excited about anything in life outside or inside of work. I've had over 20 jobs, and I'm fairly young. Never been fired, I just stop going, usually around the 6 month mark, sometimes earlier. I'm at the 6 month mark in my current position and think about quiting everyday. I call in a lot, but never seem to get in trouble for it. I do very little real work.\n\nThere's nothing I want to do with life, except travel, hike, and eat good food, and no one is paying for that. I'm lucky because I have a disability income of roughly $1500 a month from breaking my back and the following surgeries. Many days I think about just using that to live off of and never working again, but I have a mortgage, debt, etc, (no kids, fortunately), so I know I wouldn't last long on that.\n\nAnyway, what would you do in my situation? Why do I hate/dread going to my awesome job so much? Why do I always quit after 6 months? How can I change my perspective and motivate myself to get up and go every day?", "summary": "I can't keep a job to save my life and am about to quit my current (really good) job with no other prospects, just because I don't like going. How do I stop this cycle and motivate myself?"} {"id": "t3_2nb5un", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] confused after going on a pretty good date.", "post": "I recently went for a coffee with a girl I didn't really know, to get to know her and that. It went really good, she was talking more than me, and there were no awkward pauses or that, and it felt pretty good.\n\nSo, I was away to ask to meet her again in the future, but she did that before me and went for a hug. At this point, I was thinking that this is pretty damn great :D\n\nBut... it's been a while since then and I haven't heard back at all, and I had no reply to my text asking to meet up again. Situation has left me a little confused because she seemed interested, but I guess not really? Why say meet up again?", "summary": "went on a date with a girl, went great, she asked me to meet again, haven't spoke since. Confused!"} {"id": "t3_1t78ay", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Trusting is getting hard (relationships, infidelity, personal issue, dating, maybe more)", "post": "So, some background. \n\nI (19/M) was in a nearly five year relationship, and had even proposed by the end. I ended it 6 months ago because I found out she was cheating on me. I'll refer to her as A (19/F) for the remainder of the post.\n\nWe shared most friends, and one of them, lets call her B (19/F), had told me about a year before we broke up that she was cheating on me. I didn't believe her, and ended the friendship with her. As did A and most of our friends. I thought it was just because she lied. I asked a few of A's close friends why B would say these things, and none of them knew. I trusted A, but I started to lose trust in her over this, because she had a few online flings that I found out about beforehand and stayed with her after.\n\nRecently, my friend B contacted me, and I apologized for not believing her. We've been talking a lot recently, and she told me that there was more. That A had been cheating on me nearly the entire time we we're in a relationship. And nearly everyone I knew had known about it in someway or another. I have no reason to doubt B because she is brutally honest. I'm not going to bother checking with anyone, because it's pointless now and I doubt they would tell me the truth anyway. I had just started to trust people more again, but since this came up...I don't know. I feel like I won't be able to trust anyone being in a relationship like I was in with her again, and if we shared friends, how the hell can I trust them? \n\nI know I'm young, but I just want some advice if anyone can provide some.", "summary": "Just found out in my last relationship I was being cheated on nearly the entire time and had no idea. Everyone else it seems knew. I don't know what to do, just feel like I can't trust anyone."} {"id": "t3_428vce", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] with my girlfriend [20F] of 6 months, should I tell her about my insecurities?", "post": "To give a little bit of background, about a year before I met my current SO, I got out of a very toxic, unhealthy 2 year relationship. Without going into too much detail, it involved constant manipulation and emotional abuse from my partner, and left me with a very low self-esteem and sense of self worth by the end of it. I had some counselling, and waited a year before I felt ready to date again.\n\nSeven months ago, I met my current girlfriend, and we've been together for the past 6 months. It's been going amazing, I love her, and she hasn't given me any reason to believe that she doesn't feel the same about me.\n\nRecently though, and despite all this, I've begun feeling insecure about my relationship. I know, logically, that I have no reason to, and that my GF has done absolutely nothing to make me feel this way. But still, everytime we have a rushed goodbye, everytime she has a reason for not being able to see me (which, by the way, are few and far between, and are always good reasons), part of me feels afraid. I'm afraid that she's only tolerating me, I'm afraid that I'm not good enough, afraid that she's losing those feelings she has for me. And no matter how much I tell myself this isn't true, I still feel those doubts in the back of my mind. And I know that if I continue to feel this way, I'll end up sabotaging the relationship myself somehow.\n\nNow, she knows about my ex, but not the extent to which I feel that relationship messed me up. She's also been a victim of abuse in the past, so I'm sure she would understand, but I'm not sure if I should tell her these things, or if I should work through it myself.", "summary": "Old, toxic relationship left me sorta messed up. Feeling those same insecurities with my new girlfriend. Should I tell her these things?"} {"id": "t3_3khr1f", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "What is this skin condition?!", "post": "Hi AskDocs! I need your help. Yesterday evening I began to notice a hot, itchy rash around my neck/collarbone area. Took a Benadryl and went to bed. \n\nWoke up with rash still there but decided it was ok to go to work. About an hour in, it started spreading down to side chest so I went to urgent care. Doc said I'm having an allergic reaction and prescribed more Benadryl and steroids. I've never had allergies and there are no changes in diet, soap, clothing, etc.\n\nTook prescribed meds around noon and noticed some improvement. Around 7, started to noticed a second flare up but much worse this time. It's spread down my back and on my right wrist. Neck is still blotchy red in some areas. \n\nI have another doc appt tmo morning but I wanted to see if yall had any ideas. What could this be? I have no other symptoms (no nausea, flu like symptoms, nothing). Is it legit allergic reaction? Something more serious? The fact that it's spreading so fast is freaking me out. \n\nThanks!", "summary": "skin rash spreading fast since yesterday evening. Taking Benadryl and steroids prescribed by urgent care doc for allergic reaction and not working. What could it be? "} {"id": "t3_40t648", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "FAFSA Parent Plus Buyout", "post": "I took 5 years to get a bachelor's degree in Electrical Engineering. I am now gainfully employed (around 65k), but I have to pay off these loans. They added up to *quite* a bit since I had to attend school out of state for most of it.\n\nMy personal portion was only 30% of the loans. Parent Plus had to do the rest, since my folks look *great* on paper. In reality, they are in a sea of debt caused by medical hardships (cancer, kidney failures, etc, which had to come out of pocket).\n\nI told my parents that I would pay them once I had a job, and **I am doing so.** The problem is, now I am taxed at 28% of my income, and don't get any writeoffs for the interest I have been paying on the Parent Plus. I want to consolidate my loans with the Parent Plus, and take the debt into my name. I could build amazing credit by paying these off, but as far as credit companies or banks are concerned, the nearly 50% of my take-home pay that vanishes to the Parent Plus is just being \"spent.\" Is there a way out of this one, or am I just stuck?\n\nThe Parent Plus loans consist of seven separate loans ranging from 6.4 to 7.9%. My personal loans consist of four separate loans ranging from 3.4% to 6.8%. I feel that there should be some way to consolidate these all reasonably.\n\nA Wells Fargo Banker told me that banks won't give me a loan to pay this off, since it would be paying a government loan with a private loan. Is there some way around this?\n\n---\n\nI also posted this on /r/askreddit, but after about ten seconds of googling, I found this subreddit, which seems much better suited to my needs.", "summary": "I took FAFSA Parent Plus loans out through my parents and I want to buy them out. Is there a way to do this at all?"} {"id": "t3_41va3f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [29M] girlfriend [29F] is emotionless", "post": "We've been dating for about 2 months and I'm beginning to notice something troubling about her. She's a self-proclaimed \"robot\". She doesn't cry. She's got a 'tough-guy-exterior'.\n\nShe's only had two previous long term relationships since she was a teenager. Both of her exes treating her poorly. I think that she's been emotionally scarred, and the way she deals with it is by putting up walls. She won't let herself be vulnerable.\n\nWhen I told her I had a dream about my dad dying, her response was \"are you disturbed? Why are you dreaming about death, you sicko?\"\n\nIt worries me that she's unable to let herself feel.", "summary": "My girlfriend has been scarred by previous relationships and put up walls. I love her and want to help her break those walls down. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2f0sme", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[26/M] Accused of being afraid of being alone; Does anyone else feel like this?", "post": "**Brief History:** My girlfriend [26/F] left me 11 days ago. She of course took her kid whom I had grown to love. The only real explanation I was given as to why was that she misses her family and wants to try to make amends with her ex to get it back.\n\nThe day before she left, me and the kid [3/F] had spent the day together. We went for a walk, stomped the icky ants, fed ducks, went to the playground and came home to bake cookies and banana bread to surprise momma. While we were baking she asks if she can sing me a song, I of course say yes. She sings \"You are my sunshine\" and ends it with an \"I love you Im_not_evil.\" I gave her a good long hug and told her I loved her too. \n\n---\n**Why I'm posting:** So in an effort to stay away from the house and stay busy, I have reached out to a variety of existing and potential friends. Including attempting to meet new people through Meetups, dating sites, and random approaches. The accusation that I am afraid to be alone has been thrown around and it made me start to think about the legitimacy of the claims.\n\n**The DAE feel like this?:** I have natural inclinations to buy flowers for someone or to cook for them. To clean the house and surprise them with a hot salt bath. I want to oil them up and give them a back rub until they fall asleep and then lay down next to them and hold them. I **LOVE** to do nice things like this! However, I need someone to do them for. I also want someone I can protect, support, and challenge. A partner against the world. **I want the energy to be invested in building a relationship.** Preferably an enduring one. This inherently implies a need for another person in my life.\n\nA friend suggested I channel the energy into something else but I don't know what to do with it or how. Do you have suggestions?", "summary": "Accused of being afraid of being alone. I constantly want to do nice things for others and want to invest it into someone for the long term."} {"id": "t3_3gmo5a", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by liking a guy", "post": "Small backstory: I used to date a guy who's probably ~the one who got away~ (ugh, the worst). He graduated from our college a year before me and it didn't feel right to ask him to stay close for law school so he moved across the country and that was that. By the time all this happened, I was a senior and I really didn't care to let any relationships get too serious with graduation right around the corner.\n\nA couple months ago, I got drunk and thought downloading tinder would be fun (I was absolutely right, but that's not the point). I started talking to and hanging out with this guy to the point where we were talking every day and hanging out every weekend for a month or so. For the first time since my ex, I started to let myself actually like someone...and then I got ghosted. Womp. \n\nIt seems stupid, but I took the whole thing pretty tough and have been trying to find things to keep myself busy for the last month. I came into work today after taking a long weekend and realized that I hadn't finished up this proposal for a huge potential client. I had to tell my boss about everything and I stupidly mentioned the guy, which ended in her giving me a 45 minute pep talk about how I'm worth it and deserve better blah blah blah while my other boss sat awkwardly across the desk silently wishing someone would put a bullet in his brain. I eventually started feeling so bummed and embarrassed that I felt physically ill. Then I puked all over my boss's office.", "summary": "I liked a guy, but he didn't like me so I forgot to do my job and got sick all over my boss's office while she tried to convince me that I'm not the worst."} {"id": "t3_1dfjrt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [20] wants to get tattoos and I (her boyfriend) [24] am not attracted to them.", "post": "Me [24] and my girlfriend (Natalie) [20] have been going out for 8 months now. We love each other deeply and see ourselves getting married one day. Natalie really likes tattoos and she plans to get many over the course of her life. Maybe it's because i'm from Michigan (a more conservative state) and she is from California, or perhaps it's what I was told was beautiful as a child, or maybe it's because I simply enjoy the natural look of a woman, but I have always been objected to the look of tattoos. I can appreciate them, I can enjoy the art, I will not judge someone for them, but I simply just don't think it's attractive. \n\nMy girlfriend is worried about this and understandably so. She is concerned that things won't be the same once she gets them, and honestly I don't know exactly how I'm going to react to it once I see them. However getting tattoos is not something that she is willing to compromise. She has made it clear to me that this is something she is going to do regardless of my viewpoint. \n\nI will love this girl regardless of her image. If all her teeth go knocked out tomorrow, I would still love her with all my heart. But I can't promise that I will still have the same level of attraction to her. \n\nAny advice on this issue would be extremely helpful. I feel like we are kind of at a standstill and it doesn't sit right with either of us.Thanks and I will be available to answer any questions.", "summary": "Girlfriend wants tattoos but I am not attracted to them and getting them is not something she is willing to compromise. I'm worried about her getting them and she is worried about how things might change once she does."} {"id": "t3_1gxdva", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[25/M] Her [24/F] 2 yrs together: Stupid fight, but I think her solution is silly...", "post": "I apologize in advance because I realize that many people in this thread have much more serious relationship problems than I do. But a recent fight btwn me and my GF of 2 yrs is driving me crazy and I need thoughts/perspective.\n\nShe and I both love stupid, Michael-Bay-style, summer blockbuster, blow shit up movies. We love watching them together. On a couple of rare occasions before, we've expressed interest in watching movies XYZ--and then I went out to watch XYZ with family or friends without her, due to various circumstances. She jokingly gave me grief about that and ended up never watching XYZ even though I said I'd watch it again with her, because she said she would feel like I would only be doing that out of obligation to her.\n\nLast month I watched F&F6--a movie she's been talking about for a year--without her bc she was at a rehearsal dinner that night. I was out with a friend who suggested going to watch it, and we didn't have anything better to do that night, so we did. I also watched it the day after with her, and didn't tell her about my first viewing until yesterday. Now she's pissed that I watched it without her AND I hid the fact.\n\nI do not see why she won't let me watch movies with friends/family, and then watch them again with her--which I'm perfectly willing to. Her position is that she doesn't want to feel like an obligation (on the premise that, if it weren't for her, I wouldn't watch the movie twice). She wants me to tell my friends that I've already committed to seeing the movie with her, or to have us all go together when possible, or to just watch things with my friends and she'll watch the movie separately. Thoughts?", "summary": "GF will not watch movies with me if I've already seen them, even if I'm willing to watch them again with her."} {"id": "t3_11nsi6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Huge dilemma as a result of learning about boyfriend's colorful sexual past. I don't know what to do. Him 23, myself 20", "post": "I would just like to begin by saying that as you can probably guess from the name that this is a throwaway account because bf and mutual friends are redditors. My issue is this: \n\nThe other day, after a year in this relationship, my boyfriend and I got into a discussion about how many people he's slept with (he already knew my number which is 4 men). We went in chronological order where I got the names and stories attached to these conquests. I was fine for the first few but I was pretty upset by the end of this conversation where his final count was FORTY. \n\nI know it was all in his past while I'm the one in his present and that he hasn't changed being who he is from before I knew that info to after but to think that there were 40 other women before me deeply unsettles me and, to be honest, kind of makes me feel sick/queasy. It makes me think that he disrespects sex. In my mind it shouldn't be something you should engage in because you *can* (as from most of his stories it appears to have been for him; a challenge to see if he could). \n\nI love him very much and actually see myself spending the rest of my life with this man. I'm not worried he's going to cheat or anything bad like that and I know he can't erase his past (if he even wants to) but I can't get this out of my head and had I learned this before I fell in love with him it probably would have been a deal breaker. However, he is an amazing man and I love him very much. What I'm asking is for advice on how to get past this and not be bothered by it, or even what reddit thinks my next step in this relationship needs to be. Sorry the description is so long", "summary": "I need advice on how to get over the fact that my boyfriend's slept with 40 women and I just learned this a year into the relationship."} {"id": "t3_2d2m2s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "She [23 F] broke up with me [24M] after 4 years. She hooked up with someone else for a while, now wants me back.", "post": "Ex explained to me a few months ago that she was generally unhappy in the relationship and that she wanted to be single for a while. I obviously was not okay with this. She broke up with me back in February.\n\nI found out she was hooking up with some guy from work for a few months during the time of our breakup.\n\nShe recently reached out saying that she really misses me and wants to get back together. I'm not so sure though. I'm obviously devastated and of course I would love to give another try, but who knows if she would do it again sometime in the future? Why would I want to commit to someone who gave up on me to hook up with someone else for a while?\n\nWhat do you think, reddit?", "summary": "Ex of 4 years broke up with me for a few months. During that time she hooked up with someone else. Now she wants me back, and I'm unsure if I should take her back."} {"id": "t3_3yym2d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 8 months just broke up and are living together...how do I handle this?", "post": "Boyfriend of 8 months just dumped me because he \"fell out of love with me\". We moved in with each other after just a few months of dating (please don't give me a speech about moving in so quickly...I have already learned that painful lesson haha). Now he's broken up with me and wants to break the lease. \n\nUnfortunately, I have not fallen out of love with him. But for a month we are stuck living together. I have nowhere else to really stay that is close enough to my job and neither does he. How can I handle this best, hurt myself least, and heal the most quickly while still having to be with someone I love for 4-6 more weeks? I know it's not much time but right now it seems like ages. Thanks.", "summary": "Boyfriend dumped me, still love him, stuck living together for at least a month. How do I handle this?"} {"id": "t3_3iv50o", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[TX] Volunteers damaged apartment property while moving up a dresser. Who's liable?", "post": "Pretty much what the title says. A large charitable organization damaged the door of another apartment on the first floor while they were moving a dresser that we donated.\n\nWe notified the office manager after the movers left, as they didn't tell us about it. The manager was very nice and said he would document the incident and get back to us on Monday. The apartment manager is claiming that we are liable for the property damage, and need to get reimbursed by the charity on our own time.\n\nWe're moving out in a few weeks. What's the right approach here? Is it up to the apartment manager to work with the charity that did the damage directly? Or are they correct that we need to pay for the damage and then seek reimbursement?\n\nWe're moving out soon. Are they allowed to take this out of our security deposit?", "summary": "Charity organization volunteers damaged apartment property, and I'd like to know whether they are liable or if I need to pay and then seek reimbursement."} {"id": "t3_3csclh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I handle this?", "post": "I (23m) and my ex-gf (20f) of almost 2 years broke up about a month ago. She had a really hard time with it at the time but has slowly been recovering. I miss her and I feel like we might be able to fix the issues we were facing.\n\nLast night I was having a really hard time imagining what I would do without her and I texted her for the first time since the breakup and asked her to meet up this weekend to talk to which she agreed. \n\nSo now I'm torn because on one hand I really want her back, I still love her. On the other hand, I'm afraid that maybe it still won't work and I'd end up putting her through the pain of the breakup again, which makes me sick thinking about. \n\nDoes anyone have any similar experience or advice to help me out? I'm really lost.", "summary": "I'm meeting up with my ex gf of 2 years and I don't know whether to go back to her or not"} {"id": "t3_3njnsr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18F] with my coworker crush [21M] of about a month, want to make a move but scared of rejection", "post": "So I started working a seasonal job at a popular halloween store in August, this guy (I'll call him Peter) started working a little after me. We talk a bit, whenever we get a chance as we work two different positions. He's very charming and outgoing whereas I'm quiet, shy, and reserved. \n\nI want to be assertive and make a move on him but I feel like I can't because 1) I'm younger than him, 2) I'm a girl and stereotypically guys are supposed to be the assertive one, and 3) I don't want to make our working relationship weird.\n\nI feel like I could have a chance with him, he plays around with me (like standing in my way and making me push him so I can move) and compliments me and seems to hang around me when I'm near. I just feel like if I'm assertive it would turn him off or make him uncomfortable.\n\nShould I just go for it? I mean our jobs will likely be nonexistent past Halloween so if I don't make a move (or if he doesn't) I'll probably never see him again.", "summary": "I'm scared to be assertive about my crush on an older coworker and am unsure whether or not it would make our working relationship weird."} {"id": "t3_1we5ot", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with the [20 F] I've been seeing for 3 months, I have no idea how to end it.", "post": "I met a nice girl and we hit it off about 3 months ago. I feel pressure from friends and her that now is around the time this thing becomes 'official'/exclusive or ends.\n\n I want it to end because though she is a great person, I feel that spending time with her has had bad effects on both my studies and working life to such an extent that I can no longer fully enjoy her company. When we sleep together, I am always held back by her in the morning. I've missed work and nearly missed deadlines for college because of this.\n\nOf course there are other factors, one perhaps as or even more important is that I have never had a relationship, feel I will never love her, do not want a relationship with her (or anyone really) and have no idea how to act while in one.\n\nTaking what I have said into account, I want to end this. However, I feel doing so for such relatively arbitrary reasons is incredibly cruel and this has developed into a reluctance to do this. \n\nMy best friend has advised me not to worry about what she thinks of me after, but I am more worried about potentially causing her a lot of emotional pain because despite the disfunctional aspects of our relationship, I am awfully fond of her.\n\nReddit, persuade me, berate me and advise me on how to handle this situation.", "summary": "Met a really nice girl, but am not happy and do not know how to end it due to severe lack of life experience."} {"id": "t3_1lhpen", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by accidentally telling my waitress I was giving her a quarter tip.", "post": "So a bunch of my buddies and I went to Atlanta for DragonCon today. We were getting tired and went to a restaurant to eat and chill. The tickets come and mine was about $9.75, so I gave a $10 and the waitress asked if I wanted my change. I knew telling her no meant she would get it, but I didn't know that meant it was the /only/ tip you were going to give. I planned to give her more of a tip. So she comes back, kind of throws my check down in front of me and says, \"Sir, I don't need your quarter\" real snarky. I immediately feel horrible, realizing she thought that was going to be her only tip from me. So I gave her a $20 tip wrote on the check that I didn't mean it that way.", "summary": "didn't realize \"keep the change\" meant \"That's the only tip you're getting\" so I tipped really well."} {"id": "t3_2yevgh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] told my [23 F] girlfriend I loved her for the first time and didn't mean it", "post": "Throw away because...\n\nWe started dating officially earlier this week. But we've been seeing each other since January. We went to big bear today and had an AMAZING time in the snow all day. Climb the mountain, make-out in the snow, all that jazz. It was by far one of the best days of my life...until we left.\n\nLet me start off by saying that I DO love this girl, she is a manifested list of everything i could ever want in a someone. Ridiculously attractive, great personality and she makes me incredibly happy. BUT....\n\nI think we said \"I LOVE YOU\" wayyy too early in our relationship. She told me today for the first time and i didn't mean it when i told her. I felt sort of pressured to say it back. I DO love this girl, but i didn't want to say it yet.\n\nAll i want to do now is avoid telling her \"I LOVE YOU\" because it's just not true when i say it. I don't like lying to her, but if i tell her the truth i feel like it's going to break her heart or make things very difficult between us. I'm not sure what to tell her or if i should tell her anything. Things will change. \n\nI'm definitely \"falling for her\" but maybe I'm just not in the same emotional feel as she is right now. I don't want to lose this girl but i also don't think I'm in love with her. Maybe i do care a lot about her to love her. But i don't think I'm in love with her. I fucked up bad guys.", "summary": "Told gf of 3 months i loved her when i don't. Felt pressured to say itfor the first time. Now avoiding saying \"I love you\". Don't know if i should tell her."} {"id": "t3_2afk2d", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [17/m] fell in love with one of my best friends [16/f]. I got fucked up and confessed everything to her, but it gets worse..", "post": "So this girl I fell in love with is the most amazing person I have ever met. She quickly became my only light when I was in a dark place. I have loved her since I met her, but only in the last four months did I realize that I was actually in love with her. \n\nOn my birthday, June 27th, I got really fucked up at a party with my friend Josh 18/m, the guy she likes, and he \"liked\" her too. While fucked up I confessed to him that I really liked our friend, we'll say Madison, to which he says, \"Yeah dude, I know! It is so obvious with the way you talk about her.\" I expect that since I've told him this he would back off because he also told me it was nothing serious for him. He didn't. I end up drunk texting \"Madison\" and confess my love to her. Then I spent the next week convincing her that I confessed because I was drunk, but that I felt everything I told her when I was sober. \n\nI think everything is good between us though. The real problem is that last night I found out from \"Josh\" that he had sex with \"Madison\". It hurt a little, but they were both my friends, so as long as they were happy I wouldn't say or do anything about my feelings. Then \"Josh\" went on to tell the story of how he hasn't been talking to her. And essentially explained that he is breaking her heart. I mean her mom called him, and I think she just wants him to apologize and clean up his mess, but I'm not sure. \n\nI want to be there for her, but I don't know what to say. I don't know how to comfort her without making it seem like I'm just trying to swoop in and make this bad situation work in my favor and all that, because it is not like that at all. I just know that her heart is broken. What the hell am I supposed to do?", "summary": "honestly if you didn't want to read that then I'm sorry, but I don't think I want your advice."} {"id": "t3_yeirs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "my boyfriend(16) stopped calling me (f16) but still wants us to be together", "post": "So I have been seeing this guy for about four months now. Usually he has been sorta clingy and calls or texts at least once a day. Lately however, he has stopped, It has progressed over the last couple of weeks to no calls at all. I have been the one to call. So i thought It was over and called to make it official yesterday. (these things happen for teens) However, he continued to chat like everything was normal before I could bring up the breakup. He sat there like normal and talked about us being together further on, told me he loved me and missed me the other night, he said I was cute, we talked and he was being an overall great boyfriend like everything was normal. I realized he was like this when I called, he just stopped calling like he used to. I am so confused right now. I know if I tried again he would be caught off guard and would continue to try to get me back. What is going on?!", "summary": "boyfriend stopped calling, I thought things were over, but he acts like everything is normal and great. Not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_ln2co", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Stuck in a rut and in need of advice/inspiration!", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and living together for 2. I'm quite the homebody, and when we first met, he was very outgoing and loved partying and socialising (although he was a student at the time). We're both working now, and most nights we find ourselves doing the same things: watching series (luckily we enjoy the same shows), playing Minecraft, playing various board games, or having sex. We're tired after work, and can't bring ourselves to leave the house. The weekend is much the same -- lots of sleep, or sitting around staring at one screen or another. We do party occasionally (we'll head to a pub once every few months) and there are a few mutual friends we enjoy spending time with, but I worry that we've become stuck in our boring ways. I really enjoy our lifestyle, and would be quite happy to never leave the house again, but I'm starting to feel guilty for turning him into a 50 year-old when he's only 24. \nAny ideas for shaking things up a little? Bear in mind that we live in a small town in South Africa, and neither of us has a car >.<", "summary": "My boyfriend and I live together and do nothing but game and sleep in our free time. Need ideas for fun things to do."} {"id": "t3_4qhvb9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [24M] bother dating or am I not ready?", "post": "I'm 24, live with my parents and only make about 28k a year. \n\nI guess I should list positives. I own my car, bought it with cash, have a good amount of money saved up. I started lifting late last year, my numbers are not where I want them to be but I'm still lifting 2-3 times a week. \n\nI'm just worried that I don't make enough money to hold a relationship or have a woman be ok with the amount that I make. I'm not incredibly good looking, pretty short at 5'8, and I only really have 4 or 5 real friends, none of which are women. \n\nWhere would I go to meet women? I'm totally open to just meeting women and knowing them to expand my social circle but I do not know where to go to speak with women without seeming creepy/stalkerish. \n\nI honestly don't know if I'm too ugly, too poor or just not interesting enough for a relationship. Not even sure if I've missed the boat and may be too old to start dating.\n\n I'd like to believe I'm single because I haven't really ever tried going on dates or approach women out in the open but I feel like I don't qualify to try and date because of my living situation/income.", "summary": "Wondering if I should try talking to women or dating but feel like my living situation/income is barring me from trying."} {"id": "t3_4m7u4u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (32/F) keep repeating the same relationship over and over.", "post": "When I was 7 years old, my father remarried and had another baby with a woman I didn't particularly like and who did not like me. During this particular year there was a very nasty custody battle between my mom and dad and I believe my stepmother was projecting her hatred for my mother onto me. My stepmother and my dad were significantly, almost comically nicer and more supportive to my half sister. I never really felt that my dad was in my corner and felt very alone for the majority of my childhood. He chose her feelings over mine. \n\nSince then, every relationship I've had recreates the exact same situation. I like boy, boy has a needy ex-girlfriend or overbearing mom, I'm uncomfortable and ask him to fix situation, he declines, we fight, I feel like a piece of shit because I was once again chosen second. Then, I fixate and get angry. \n\nNow we can psychoanalyze the complexities of each situation and we can argue about who was right or wrong but that's not really what my question is. I keep recreating my childhood on a subconscious level to \"fix it\" and \"to win\" this time around which I obviously cannot do. I trust that the universe/God/higher self put this situation in my path over and over to learn from it but I'm struggling with what exactly I have to learn. Is it a lesson? Do I need to let go?\n\nIf it's a lesson, what can I possibly understand from it? I've spent countless hours reading books and meditating. I've sought out therapists, psychics and energy workers. I don't know what I'm supposed to learn from this. Maybe let go of attachments? \n\nAnyone have something similar to this and if so, how did you break the pattern? I just don't want to feel this way anymore and I don't want to go through another situation like this. \n\nThank you.", "summary": "I keep repeating the same relationship over and over in which I'm chosen second and not made a priority. What do I need to learn?"} {"id": "t3_1jd7b4", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How can I get over the desire for love? [M:18]", "post": "Let's go ahead and assume for the sake of this post that I am unable to find a girl who is willing to date me. Let's say that I'm just going to be single for the rest of my life, or at least for much longer than I'd like to be. \n\nI'm an 18 year old male who's NEVER had a girlfriend. For the last year and a half or so I've had this burning desire to have a girlfriend, but I've been rejected at every turn. I've asked out pretty girls, I've asked out ugly girls, and I just get turned down every time. I'm not that bad looking (kind of a nerdy look), I've got solid social skills, my friends tell me I'm hilarious (and I'd have to agree with them!), I'm an avid musician, and I know generally what I want to do with my future. Basically, I'm the type of guy girls say they want (short of being visually unattractive) yet nobody wants me. It's like being the last kid picked during the recess dodgeball game, but nobody has picked me yet.\n\nI've gotten very depressed about it to the point that it's effecting my mood and behavior. It even causes physical pain sometimes when I think about how badly I want a relationship (not horrible pain, but pain none the less). Sadly, it seems that I'm unable to find a significant other. So my question to you, Reddit, is how can I get over my desire for a relationship? How can I occupy myself in a way that stops the emotional and physical pain? What can change my mood back to that of a normal person and not a girl on her period? Again, let's assume that getting a girl is not going to work and that I need something else to fill the gap.", "summary": "I really want a girlfriend but I can't get one. It's causing emotional and physical pain because of how bad I want a relationship. How do I get over it?"} {"id": "t3_2i16dq", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "can't do anything right. fear of the future. normal new-to-adulthood depression/anxiety bullshit.", "post": "I can't hold down a job. I can't *find* a job. I can't keep up with wearing my goddamn rubber bands for my braces, hence why I've had them for so fucking long. Can't stop self harming. Can't stay away from alcohol (I'm not an alcoholic, but I hate that I can never turn down a drink). I've tried to kill myself a lot, but I've fucked it up every single time. I'm a shitty friend who doesn't know the first thing about maintaining long-lasting relationships with others. I'm a terrible significant other who can't even say \"I love you\" half the time because I'm too scared to say it. I always start projects and seldom ever finish. I can't even get out of bed most days because I'm so fucking depressed. I had to drop out of high school because my depression made it damn near impossible to accomplish anything because I was too busy trying not to kill myself.\n\nThings are going to get better soon. I'm moving soon. I'm leaving. I'm getting out. I'll be elsewhere, with a better job economy and a better environment. I'll be less depressed because I'll be with people who I trust and feel comfortable with. I'll be able to be myself. I'll have the freedom that I don't have here.\n\nBut even with that being so close, I just... I don't know. Good things are coming, but that doesn't excuse the fact that I'm a fuck-up who can't do anything right.\n\nWhat if I can't find a job there? What if I end up having to move back here? What if my friends let me stay anyway and I just become a huge fucking burden on their shoulders? What if I somehow become MORE depressed while I'm there? What if my situation gets WORSE while I'm there? What if my friends decide they don't want me there anymore? What if we end up hating each other while living together? *What if what if what if--*\n\nI don't know. I'm just scared and anxious and depressed and I need to get this off my chest before I explode.", "summary": "I'm a stupid depresssed/anxious 19 year old who's overthinking shit and being too hard on myself."} {"id": "t3_32de14", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "How to ask for more time to decide on a job offer?", "post": "Sorry about asking this again. I read like 20 threads and 20 articles about this issue, but a lot of them were either not really answered, a different situation, or some combination of the two. I know this question in the most repetitive questions thread.\n\nTo start off, the usual. Job A gave me an offer, I'd like to wait for Job B to offer. Job B still requires another interview at least.\n\nThe problem for me now is that Job B is much better than Job A. Job A is part time sales associate, Job B is full time in a different field I'd probably consider continuing. That makes Job B the \"dream job\", and I would definitely take it if offered.\n\nWill a part time job even give me time to think about it? How do I ask them for that time without them just moving on with a different candidate. I also dont want to waste their time and mine by reneging.", "summary": "will a part time retail job give me time to think about an offer, and how to ask them for that time."} {"id": "t3_4nw5i8", "subreddit": "running", "title": "[RACE REPORT] Salomon Wascally Wabbit 2016", "post": "**BACKGROUND:** Typical story. Dropped weight and started the /r/c25k program in april 2015. Never ran before that. I transitioned through b210k and a half-marathon training plan. Did my [first half] last october.\n\n**TRAINING:** Originally, I had registered for the 55K so I started my training with that in mind (35+ mpw as a goal). Winter was a struggle for me-- no injuries, I just really didn't like running in the cold. I decided to back off the 55K and just aim for one loop (27.5K). \n\n**COURSE**: Glorious. Muddy. Wet. Technical. Beautiful. A good course for my first trail race. (\n\n**BREAKDOWN:** Ran at a good pace, no real complaints. Was smiling all the way through. One thing I need to work on is my hydration, as I kinda forgot about it while running.\n\n**FOOTWEAR:** Hoka One One Challenger ATRs. Loved 'em.", "summary": "I finished my first trail race today (27.5K) in 3:31:35. Will be back next year for the 55K."} {"id": "t3_zuldd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[17M] Im still madly in love with my ex [17F] of 2 years when she has a new boyfriend who she loves", "post": "We broke up 3 weeks ago, she got together with him 2 weeks ago. she said we argued to much and i was always a jerk to her, yeah i was a really bad boyfriend, it was my first real relationship and i had no idea what i was doing. she said i was a wonderful boyfriend until she got pregnant. then all of that changed and i just became a jerk. We have a baby boy who is 1. she refuses to work things out and try again because shes over it and says she loves her new boyfriend. she met him a year ago and they've talked since. apparently they got to know each other really well and they are exactly alike so she thinks she loves him because he is everything she wants. i used to be everything she wanted and more. just a week before we broke up we were talking about getting married and getting a house at 18. she said she hasn't felt love for me in a long time and was just staying with me because she was trying to keep us together. now she wont talk to me at all. she says it hurts to think about me but she has no feelings for me and we are never getting back together. she told me to leave her alone and we both told each other we hated each other. which in reality is not true we were just very mad. i cant say two words to her without her getting mad at me and her yelling. i dont want to lose her she is the love of my life and i only want her. i want a family so bad and i never want to have sex with more than one person and i wanted to marry the person i had sex with and the mother of my child. i dont want to give up on her ever. i know i was a terrible boy friend and i regret everything ive done. please help me im so lost!", "summary": "Girlfriend said she lost love for me, loves someone else. Miss her like crazy and want her back and never giving up"} {"id": "t3_1qwqjz", "subreddit": "self", "title": "It's incredibly hard to focus because I have so much on my mind right now. I'm stressed and grumpy all the time.", "post": "* Work - it's our busy time of year. My workload has doubled/tripled on a daily basis and I deal with angry customers on a regular basis.\n\n* Social - my friends are hyper competitive, drink a lot and can be total assholes sometimes.\n\n* Boyfriend - he recently became friends with his ex on facebook. This worries me, but I'd feel like I was a stalker if I brought up the fact that I saw this activity happen on a facebook feed. We also haven't told each other we love each other, and we've been together for over a year now. I want to tell him, but I'm too scared to do so. We're also in a LDR. I'm not sure if he loves me. I'm afraid he's talking to his ex now.\n\n* Family - We've been discussing our holiday plans a lot, which is stressful anyway. I don't have a lot in common with anyone in family so it's always awkward to have any kind of conversation with them. Especially since I'm nerdy and shy.\n\n* Moving - I'll be moving to new place in two weeks. I've spent most of my free time packing and throwing things away. Mostly by myself. I'm glad to be moving to a better area, but packing in general is pretty stressful.\n\n* Mental health - I started to see a therapist for symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for a past abusive relationship and I haven't told anyone about this yet.\n\n* Legal - I had a limited license for reckless driving for the past year, and I will be getting my full license back in less than two weeks. (Don't worry, I've been driving like a saint since the incident). This has been stressful because I've had to depend on others for transportation and it has been expensive.\n\n* Health - I have really bad asthma, and it's been awful this year. I'm on several types of medication and it is difficult to sleep at night.\n\nAll of these things combine have made me so stressed out and it's hard to be close to anyone in my life. I find myself becoming more aggressive or defensive around others.", "summary": "Most facets of my life are extremely stressful to think about, I'm becoming distant and angry towards the people I care about the most."} {"id": "t3_fh9z1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Guys, what are your thoughts on virgins?", "post": "I'm almost 20 years old and still a virgin (mainly because I haven't had the opportunity to bang anyone I actually *like*) and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. I'm not saving myself or anything, but I don't want to sleep with the first guy that's probably hitting on me either. You know?\n\nAnyhow, I've seen plenty of questions asking the reverse, but I am really curious about the male perspective. Mainly because so many guys I've spoken to have said things like \"Yeah, she was a virgin so I had to take one for the team there\" and \"I don't understand the whole 72 virgins thing... who wants a virgin anyway?\" etc. To be completely honest, it makes me a little bit self-conscious. (They probably don't know I haven't had sex; I usually know what I'm talking about and am pretty comfortable with the topic, even if I don't know first-hand)", "summary": "There isn't anyone on the immediate horizon, but if I am going to sleep with a guy and I tell him I'm a virgin, will he secretly be thinking about how horrible I will probably be?"} {"id": "t3_2k5k1p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [23 F] not sure if my SO[23 M] wants to be independent", "post": "I met my SO in college and have dated him for about 4 years. He graduated last fall and has been working for his dad for almost a year doing mainly brokering and logistics (making use of grandpa's old business). They don't have any sort of paperwork or legality of employment, he is paid under the table every month where his parents deposit an \"allowance\" in his bank account. The SO spends the work days conferencing with his Dad and a couple times a week drives to their house to do chores (his dad work from home too, I don't believe the mom works anymore unless socialite is a profession).\n\nThis month has been crazy busy for him, SO's oldest sister decided to get married quickly but extravagantly, and family is moving out of their second home while planning the wedding reception at the first house. He has been with his parents so much now running errands that its starting to make me worried that they are taking advantage of him since he cannot refuse anything they say. The BF is stressed out doing all this work for his family on top of trying to be a better broker, and its starting to affect our relationship.\n\nAm I being too selfish when I think he is doing too much for his family right now? There never seems to be a line drawn between employee and son. It makes it easy for his parents to guilt trip him if he doesn't want to drop what he is doing to socialize with them. Both he and I are both upset that he spends too much time being his parent's doormat, but he isn't willing to argue the dynamics since it's family.\n\nI am not used to this kind of closeness, I talk to my folks maybe once a week and only spend major holidays together. His family likes to live in multi-generation homes, live next door to each other, and have extended family reunions every few months. If anyone has been in a situation where their adult SO is much closer to their parents than you are, please tell me if I'm being irrational.", "summary": "BF works for dad, gets bossed around by mom, I want him get a new boss or family boundaries. Am I overreacting?"} {"id": "t3_4agxtb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24M) fucked up before we even went on a date. Please help me fix it!", "post": "So I met this girl at an event the other night. We hit it off and I loved her personality so I asked for her number. I texted the next day to say it was me and it was nice to meet her. She seemed interested because she kept texting me back asking me questions and talking about last night. We were sending inappropriate jokes and so I thought we had reached a point where we understood each other's sense of humour (but even at the event I felt like we had already reached that point.) I said I would let her know sunday when I would be free for a date. \n\nSunday night I was planning on telling her my schedule. But before that I decided to crack a joke and send a reference to a song. It was dumb and inappropriate but I don't think she took it well or got the reference because her reply was 'lol ok' .. It was also an hour later and so I had already fallen asleep and didn't reply back until this morning and so I didn't get the chance to explain myself. The following morning I texted her telling her that we should go out wednesday night. Simple straight to the point. \n\nIt's midnight now and I haven't gotten a reply and I'm sort of upset because it was going great and I think I fucked up. \n\nI'm sure I can get the date going I'm just not sure what the best way would be. I'm thinking of not reaching out to her again until after wednesday as to not come across as needy. What do you guys think I should do?", "summary": "Hit it off well with someone but I think I fucked up trying to be funny while setting up the first date. How do I fix it and get the date going?"} {"id": "t3_1ci6gs", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "How can I politely get my BF to realize that we can't eat the same things?", "post": "Loseit, I have a bit of a dilemma. I was diagnosed with a genetic form of hypothyroidism a few months ago after gaining about 15 pounds in two months and going to the doctor. \n\nI've always been health conscious. I track my calories on DailyBurn, I'm currently training for a half-marathon (and I did my first Tough Mudder two weeks ago). Despite all of this work, I gained weight very quickly and it has done a number on my self confidence. As a result, I'm very stressed about food and image. \n\nI am in a relationship with one of the sweetest men I have ever met. He always wants me to be happy. Unfortunately for this situation, his favorite way to make me feel better about myself is to bring me food. It's usually something delicious, but very unhealthy. He isn't much of a health food person. Every time I try to explain to him how counterproductive this method is, he gets this hurt look and I end up going along with it. How can I get him to understand my problem?", "summary": "23 yo f, 5'6\", shot from 145 to 160 in 2 months. How can I get my bf to stop helping me eat my feelings?"} {"id": "t3_22n94d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[22M] have trouble being alone.", "post": "Hello everyone.\n\nLately I've been feeling really down/depressed/frustrated/lonely when I'm alone.\n\nSince the breakup with my first girlfriend over a month ago, I've been working on my body, my social skills, my confidence. It's been going great.\nI (re)connected with a lot of people and got to know a lot of new people and it's awesome. Due to mutual friends and the same student club I can't go NC with my ex, but when I happen to run into her, I try to ignore her as much as possible and there is no other contact between us than that. I'm perfectly aware that this will increase the time it takes to get over her, it sucks, but I can manage. I go out most days of the week, and when I'm at home I manage to occupy myself most of the time, usually doing stuff on the computer while Skyping with friends.\n\nBut then there are certain moments, where I want to do something, but I don't feel like doing anything. I want to talk to someone but nobody seems available. I start feeling down, alone, demotivated, ...\nI start thinking about the future, having nothing major to look out to, I feel afraid I'll end up alone. I start thinking about my ex and missing her, I start feeling just empty. It's hard to explain for me. \n\nI actually had it an hour ago. I was gaming with some friends and having a good time, but the moment the last other person in the conversation went to bed and checking FB for someone else to talk to, I got bored instantly and started feeling down and alone.\n\nI've been bored or alone before of course, but this feels worse than just being bored, and I don't really know how to deal with it.", "summary": "I get these random moments of boredom and loneliness since my breakup and I don't know how to solve/cope with them."} {"id": "t3_3gvba2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my [24 F] girlfriend moved to a new city. She hasn't found a job yet and is running out of money. How do I gently motivate her?", "post": "We moved across the country because I got a really great job offer and we agree'd we needed a change of pace from our home city/state. She is waiting for her final credits for her masters degree to go through inorder to apply for a specialized license in her field (thus allowing her to apply to places - you need this license to get a job in her medical field) She has a few weeks left before she can even start applying for full-time work, and is slowly running out of her savings since she has no income currently. \n\nI pay for most things (which I don't mind about, rent, internet, utilities etc.) and wasn't sure if by doing so I was enabling her to not get a part time job. She is very comfortable day-to-day, has no worries or bills, but has recently been complaining about overwhelming feelings of anxiety, worthlessness, and a slight depression. \n\nI try to remain positive and suggest going out and doing things/going to events, but during the week while shes home all day, she reverts back into not having any fire under her. I have been suggesting getting a part time job, and have friends that gave me numbers and places that they know of or have friends at that would interview her, but she seems completely removed from it all. \n\nShe will simultaneously complain about not having the money to do anything, and also that she's not sure about a part time job because it might complicate her job search for full-time work when she starts. I was contemplating asking her to pay for more, to kind of pressuring her into having to have an income. Anyone else have any tips or anything for dealing with this? I don't want to offend her, I just want her to get on her feet and not feel so overwhelmed. I think getting a part time job would solve a lot of that for her, it would get her out, meet people, have some money, give her a goal towards getting out of it to her full-time job in the field she went to school for.\n\nThank you in advance!", "summary": "Girlfriend and I moved across country, she is waiting to get a full-time job because of credits transferring, but now is running out of money and is feeling depressed. Trying to figure out how to motivate her."} {"id": "t3_3fmiwd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20M] girlfriend [17F] hangs out with a bunch of guys, and sometimes only one of them at a time. It makes me uncomfortable. How do I address the situation?", "post": "Me and my girlfriend have been dating for over two months, and I have noticed that she hangs out mostly with guys. She has a few close female friends but she recently changed majors and haven't been hanging out with them much. A week ago she told me she was gonna hang out with this guy, just the two of them. It worried me a little but I just shrugged it off. Now I have noticed that she hangs out mostly with guys, sometimes just the two of them, and some of them just shrug off the fact that she has a boyfriend. From how she acts around my friends, I can see that she is really a friendly sociable person. She has assured me many times of her loyalty, and I have been accepting it. But it bugs me that any time something could happen which is why I am posting this now.", "summary": "Have been dating this girl for over two months and she hangs out mostly with guys and it bugs me a little. How do I address the situation?"} {"id": "t3_3ekkin", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[25m] have had doubts that my relationship is getting stale for me with [25f]", "post": "In recent months I have started feeling my relationship suddenly sink to something that just is being maintained. I think it may be one sided. Me and my gf have been together almost 3 years and recently just left our apartment where we lived for a year to my parents home (I am looking for a new career field). Nothing has really changed and I'm not sure why I'm starting to feel like this. \n\nIntimacy has slowed down for about 3 months and I am starting to want to talk to other girls, and not just harmless flirting but actually wanting to pursue it. \n\nI have been very happy in my relationship but have suddenly started feeling unrest when I had started dreaming about someone else that I used to talk to but never dated. I had always wondered what would've happened because we connected more than any other person I have ever pursued. \n\nMy gf was recently on vacation last week and I an on my own trip for work this a week and realized during both weeks texting and calling was minimal.. But the thing that worried me was that I didn't even notice. If I texted her I felt like it was because I am used to checking in and vice versa. \n\nI feel so much pressure because our families get along, we have a puppy together and she lives at my house while our furniture is in storage. \n\nAnother thing that worries me is marriage has never really crossed my mind and at this length of the relationship normally for most people it's at least in the conversation. \n\nI am not even wanting to move on to someone else specifically I just feel like I want to be on my own and get that feeling you get every few years where you feel like you are starting to turn a new page in life.", "summary": "feeling unrest in relationship not sure if I should move on. Want to be sure before I even bring it up to anybody close to me"} {"id": "t3_hof2v", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Where's the best place you've ever worked and why?", "post": "I worked for Superstore when I was 15. I was hired onto the grocery department, and was trained by a guy named Kyle on my first day of work. Let's just say that him and other guys weren't the best influences.....\n\nHere's a list of what we did that made this job awesome:\n\n* First day of training Kyle takes me into the back and shows me how to use my knife to cut open bags of chips and candy so that we could eat the \"damaged merchandise\" . \n\n* Jalape\u00f1o pepper eating contest (won $20 bucks then puked EVERYWHERE)\n\n* Water fights: We'd use the hoses to soak each other unexpectedly. Best memory I have is when the manager on duty came into the back produce area to see me soaked from head to toe...turns around and walks out the door without saying a word. Hilarious.\n\n* Palet jack relay races: We had manual, electric, and lift jacks in our warehouse. So we'd race the electric ones down the back hall, jump off and ride the manual ones back to the main warehouse area, then jump on the electric one and find a way to lift ourself to the top shelf to grab the flag. I won by pressing the emergency stop button on my buddy's electric jack. ;)\n\nI loved working in the back fridge alone at times, just stocking shelves. It was peaceful. And the rowdy times were awesome too. For a 15 year old guy who didn't have many friends at the time and was very strict to the rules, I gotta thank these guys for showing me how to have fun. Best first job ever.", "summary": "Worked at a grocery store when I was 15 and had an awesome time eating food, and hanging out with older guys who were a terrible influence."} {"id": "t3_4c0k0s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Contacting my biological father [44M], who doesnt know I [19F] exist??", "post": "I'm going to try to keep this short so it doesn't drag long into a soap opera. \n\nWhen my Mom [22 F at the time] got pregnant with her boyfriend at the time [24 M], aka my Dad, she decided he would be the right fit for many reasons. He ended up harassing her by constantly calling her work/showing up at her house. My mom ended up getting a retraining order. \n\nFast forward to when I was born, my Dad wanted to get custody over me which my mom did not want. I ended up being sent to a different country as a baby during the whole trial. When the court asked for the DNA test, not sure how they did this, my mom used a different kid for the test? So it ended up being in court that he is not my father.\n\nNow growing up I didn't know anything about the DNA testing, but I knew about the harassment and being sent to a different country. (I was sent back to my mom around the age of 1 once the case was done). My mom was honest in terms of that her and my Dad didn't work but I could meet him when I turned 18. She said it couldn't be before then or else he might try to get custody over me. Once I turned 18 she ended up telling me about the whole DNA thing, and how she feels horrible but is asking me to not meet my Dad as he might press charges against her if he found out that what she did was illegal. \n\nNow currently I'm 19 and am 100% sure I found the other side of my family through investigation. But now am unsure how I should even approach him? My mom has been abroad for the past 2 years and my relationship with her has gone down the drain, for other serious reasons. \n\nIn the end I'm just kind of lost at what I should do as I want to meet my Dad I never knew. And my whole life we've lived in the same town. And he lives only 10 minutes from my place. What should I do? Thoughts and opinions?", "summary": "My mom hid me from my dad by falsifying DNA test when I was born. I want to meet him now (19 years later) but am lost of what I should do in legal/moral terms?"} {"id": "t3_20i4bx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [31m] got matched to a acquaintance/pseudo-friend [28f] on Tinder. Now what?", "post": "So I've known this girl for almost 5-6 years now but we've probably hung out maybe twice and that's it. We're Facebook, Twitter friends and have mutual friends but we don't see each other, at all. She's extremely hot and I'm...not. She's a partygoer, etc.. and I'm more a Netflix-at-home kind of guy. That much, we know about each other.\n\nSo imagine my surprise when I saw her on Tinder and said what the hell, swiped 'Yes' to her and apparently she had swiped 'Yes' to me too. \n\nAdvice from anyone this has happened to? How do I make a move without it being awkward", "summary": "Got matched up with someone I know on Tinder, we both said 'Yes' to each other. How to proceed without it being awkward?"} {"id": "t3_3cprkw", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by playing New Vegas for tens of hours without realizing I didnt have basically any mods activated.", "post": "So yeah. I have never played New Vegas without mods. I knew the mod scene was huge so there was no way for me to play without mods. I downloaded few \"essential\" mods like some weather mods, basically only graphical mods. Today I downloaded Weapons Mod Expanded because I'm lvl 18 and I have access to pretty much every game in the game, at least those weapons that you can get from merchants. So I tought that maybe this was good time to get some more weapons. While installing the mod, I realized that in Skyrim, Oblivion and Morrowind you actually had to activate the mods with some mod manager. I havent activated shit with New Vegas. Open mod manager, realize that none of the mods were activated. I have been playing for 18 levels without any mods.\n\nYes, I have been enjoying the game but I know I would have enjoyed it A LOT more if the mods were activated. I hadnt played New Vegas \"without\" mods so I didnt really know how vanilla NW was. I had nothing to compare to.\n\nNow Im so depressed that ALL my eagerness to play NW is gone. I have no desire to play it anymore because I feel like I have wasted all that time.\n\nJesus christ I want to uninstall the game and never play it again.\n\n>", "summary": ">Installed mods to NW, played NW to level 18, installed more mods, realized none of the previous mods were activated, no desire to play anymore, want to uninstall game."} {"id": "t3_19pgxo", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I just found out that I am being accused of academic dishonesty. What do I do?", "post": "In my Japanese 1002 class we are required to record ourselves doing drills - repeating after audio files, etc....I got an email over the weekend from my professor asking me to come talk to her my most recent submission on Monday. I, being a total fucking idiot, completely forgot to do so. She just sent me another email letting me know that she and her colleagues think that I have violated the code of academic honesty. \n\nI responded to her e-mail immediately apologizing profusely for not coming to see her and letting her know that if I have done something wrong it was due to ignorance on my part rather than dishonest intentions. Now I'm waiting to hear back from her.\n\nI am not sure how I could have cheated - I did my last recording very early in the morning and it is possible I made some sort of error due to sleep deprivation. Maybe I didn't record the time it took me to do it properly or something like that. I'm freaking out right now thinking that perhaps I did something terribly wrong without realizing it and will have academic dishonesty charges on my record forever.", "summary": "I'm being accused of cheating. What do I do now? What are the possible consequences? Is this going to ruin my life?"} {"id": "t3_3z6rbk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my best friend [25F] of 5 years, I'm in love with her and it's paralyzing", "post": "Throwaway because friends know my username. I met my best friend 6 years ago at university and we've been really close for about 5. For most of that time she went from relationship to relationship, one of which lasted for 3.5 years with someone I also considered a good friend. \n\nI've dated many people throughout this time, but I subconsciously find myself comparing them to her. This often causes me to be resistant to commitment and easily lose interest in romantic partners. \n\nWe're both single and talk every day. She was my date to a wedding last week, I go to dinners at her parents house, and we take each other to work events. We always have an incredible time together, feel comfortable being ourselves, and are both attractive (trying to be objective here) and have successful careers. \n\nI am a big proponent of not convincing someone to be with me unless they really want it themselves. I also have a tendency to get paralyzed when I don't know what to do. So how do I proceed?\n\nA) Be upfront about how I feel and potentially alter our friendship\nB) Continue to see other people and try to find someone right for me that I won't feel the need to compare them\nC) Try to be at peace with it and focus on other important things in my life\nD) Sell all my possesions, and move to a different place every 4 months determined by a poll on a blog I have yet to create", "summary": "I'm in love with my best friend, I struggle with keeping it from having an impact on pursuing other people, and I don't know how to proceed."} {"id": "t3_37r21g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23/F] with my best friend [23/F], need some advice on how to gently talk her out of a new hobby?", "post": "I'm a fairly successful comic in my city's local scene. My best friend has been to a few shows recently, and decided that she's interested in performing at some upcoming open mic events.\n\nShe's been writing material and asking me to look at it for her and tell her if it's funny. To be blunt, it isn't. She doesn't seem to be particularly suited to writing comedy.\n\nI've been trying to help her workshop, which she asked me to do, but I'm starting to think that there's not anything I can really do to help her make the material stronger. It's just not that good to begin with, and anything I can think to do to improve it just makes it sound like MY comedy, not something of her own.\n\nWhat's the best way to tell her that I don't think she's cut out for this? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't want her to end up embarrassed.", "summary": "My friend is interested in trying stand-up comedy. I don't know how to tell her that I don't think it's a good idea."} {"id": "t3_37edtc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my roommate [26 F] of 1 month, seemed nice, but pissed her off and now acts like a shell of a person", "post": "A female roommate moved in with me into my apartment about a month ago, I think might have had a thing for me at one point. We share the same room with a couple, so it's 4 of us. At first she was really cheerful and seemed cool. A few days in, I had weed for the first time and accidentally overdid it, I was way too stoned and and my roommates all claim they were worried at how stoned I was because I was zoning out. She had invited me to cook with her and I agreed, but the next day I wasn't feeling well from the weed, told her I wasn't going to do it. \n\nWe ended up having an argument about my flaking, and she used the \"you promised\" line on me. Now, I take promises very seriously, in fact I never promise anything unless it's already been fulfilled and the other person doesn't know yet. I called her out on it and told her that I never promised her anything, that she was lying. Big mistake. Immediately after this, she put up the biggest emotional wall I've ever seen.\n\nIt's been 2 weeks and she skulks around all day, is as un-responsive as possible about anything, deadpan voice, one-word answers, no eye contact, turns away, frequent sighing. She hangs out with friends and has gone out with at least 1 other guy that I know of, I took a 10 day trip which I thought would give her some time to cool off, but after I returned she's the same. She's also nice to the other roommates, so it's definitely just me.\n\nThere seems to be so much negative energy that I constantly feel like just leaving the house to not be around her. Not sure whether to \"have a talk\" or to give her more time and test the waters again later.", "summary": "Flaked on plans with roommate, had argument, roommate has shut down and acts depressive around me. I want her to act normal again, but giving her some space seems to be doing nothing. Should I take a different strategy?"} {"id": "t3_10w0zn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22m] feel guilty when I hang out with my friends instead of my girlfriend [20f]", "post": "We have been dating for 2 years. When my girlfriend asks me to do something and i have previous plans, I feel incredibly guilty telling her that I am hanging out with people other than her. I think this comes from knowing the \"let-down\" reaction I get when I tell her but she, of course, tells me that she can do things without me. When I apologize for having previous plans, she tells me I overuse the word \"sorry\" and that she doesn't need me to have fun. \nIs there something wrong here or am I creating this problem in my head?", "summary": "When i make plans that do not involve my SO I feel guilty. This stems from her reaction of being \"let down\" when I tell her i am busy"} {"id": "t3_y3dro", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Where are you from/where do you currently live? How do you like/dislike the way of life that your area provides for you?", "post": "I'm from a suburb about 6 miles outside of Boston, and I recently moved about 100 miles west to Amherst to finish school. Growing up outside of Boston, there are a lot of wealthy, privileged kids who try and act hard and tough as if they grew up with problems or something. Also everyone in my area started drinking and doing drugs way earlier than other people I've met from other places, for example I started drinking, smoking and smoking pot at 12. \n\nWestern Massachusetts is much different, as it is far less densely populated, and aside from the two flourishing college towns, and Springfield, ma (americas's stinkiest armpit besides maybe Detroit) most towns are very small farm towns. Everyone who lives in my college town is either a student or a super liberal hippie person. There is a fair amount of scuzzy looking people around town, but they generally keep to themselves and don't pose much of a threat. Everyone in town seems to smoke a lot of weed, and the town government doesn't seem to care much about that, as they hold a giant weed fest in town every year called \"extravaganja\" where they ask the police to look the other way completely.", "summary": "Boston suburbs are full of rich kids who think they're tough and western ma is really friendly. Tell me about where you're from!"} {"id": "t3_2s4wtf", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Crippling anxiety over even THINKING about finding off campus housing.", "post": "I'm going to be transferring to CSULB for Fall 2015. As a junior-status student, I want to move in to an apartment off campus with my boyfriend. Here is my struggle:\n\n* I don't live close to Southern California: hundreds of miles away, in fact, which makes apartment hunting in person close to impossible\n* Using the internet to hunt down decently priced apartment for two people in a neighborhood that isn't awful is daunting. *(I have been using [padmapper] for my searches.)*\n* This will be my first apartment, and I am not sure what to expect.\n\nWhat is your experience with off campus living? How did you find a place/how did you afford said place/any and all advice you have?\n\n**Basically, if that was", "summary": "how does one go apartment hunting for off-campus living somewhere that is hundreds of miles away from where you are, and how do you set up in moving there?*"} {"id": "t3_2j6qi4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] feel like even after 2.5 years I know nothing about my boyfriend [21M]", "post": "I love my boyfriend and I know he loves me too but I feel like he has these huge walls up. When it comes to me and my family I'm pretty much an open book - I tell him everything and I often share things from my childhood with him. My boyfriend never talks about his past/childhood and rarely shares anything about what's going on in his life. When I ask him what's new or what's up he responds by saying that I live with him so I know everything. I'm also very mindful of what I say and find myself having to choose my words carefully so as to not imply that we'll be anything more in the future (made that mistake about a year and a half into our relationship and it ended in tears and a conversation about how he doesn't like to plan things 'cause if it doesn't work it'll end in disappointment). Is this normal? Sometimes it's a little saddening knowing that I'm so open yet he's not that comfortable. It's also shitty that I have to pick and choose my words; I can't just say \"Oh I hope we can have a little cottage some day\" I have to alter it and say \" I hope whoever I marry will want a cottage\"... Simple things like that\nHalp?", "summary": "boyfriend doesn't tell me anything about his childhood/past won't talk about the future; he's not cheating on me and he loves me but he's just not open - how to fix?"} {"id": "t3_31obzr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 F] Maybe I'm over reacting and maybe I'm not.", "post": "So I'm the type of member to be courteous. I like to have a friendly environment, but the people who seem to act like they're too cool to follow any type of rules always ruin a fun time even on this site or anywhere I go.\n\nThe down vote thing always irritates me because it's just annoying how I see people down vote someone (and me) for saying something true. It's ridiculous. [No, this isn't an open invite to down vote me, but I'm sure someone will anyway. They have never failed to not down vote my posts whenever I mention how people abuse the down vote system. Like I'll get way more positive comments agreeing with what I say but the votes don't match up to the people agreeing with me posting.\n\nDoes that mean if I talk about up voting I'll get up voted then since some people think mentioning down votes will get you down voted?]", "summary": "Anyway, back to my personal issue, do you ever let people who don't follow the rules bother you or you just carry on and keep doing you and find people who do use the site rightfully?"} {"id": "t3_1w3o97", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Reddit, please help me make friends in college", "post": "So I was commuting to my college my first semester and I hated it. I didn't meet that many people and I only made casual acquaintances with other commuters in my class, but they live further away from me so we can't really hang out. I made the move to live on campus the second semester and got into an on campus apartment thinking that I would have an easier time meeting people. I was wrong. I'm a little shy so talking to people is difficult. The biggest problem I have is that I don't know how to really connect with people and I never have something to say. I know I can ask how are your classes, what's your major, etc. but I want to really get to know people. I'm just awkward. The shitty thing is that people already have their own groups and I have no one. My roommates don't really like me for some reason even though I've been nothing but polite to them but whatever fuck them they're all weird anyway. I'm sorry for ranting but this is embarrassing and I don't know who to turn to. I don't wanna be all alone and quiet for the rest of my life so please help me reddit.", "summary": "Really quiet, moved to an on campus apartment hoping to meet people, I don't know what to say to anybody."} {"id": "t3_1x75e9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "The girl [F/17] I'm [M/17] into is weird about what she wants and I'm lost", "post": "So basically the girl that I have a \"crush\" on is half Asian half white and she is only into white guys. I'm not white but I do like her and we're friends and we tease each other and stuff but how do I get her to cling to me more. I call her cute and beautiful and stuff but it doesn't seem to have any affect.\n\nShe also says she isn't into relationships and things like that but then she says that she really wants a guy there, she's bipolar about it. I think she just says she doesn't because in the town we live in everyone crushes on white people and I guess they don't like the half Asian in her. For once there's no real competition but her standards are really high. What can I do to make her see me in a different way or give me a shot?", "summary": "Girl I like has standards that are impossible for me to meet, is it possible to get this girl to fall for me at all or should I move on?"} {"id": "t3_5166lg", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by letting my friend cut my hair", "post": "Over the past few weeks I noticed that my hair was getting pretty long (by my standards) but it wasn't until this past Friday that I decided to cut it. Being the uncultured swine that I am, I didn't realize that this weekend was Labor Day weekend and that everyone else figured that this was their last chance to get a haircut before Tuesday rolled around. \n\nSince I'm impatient and I didn't want to wait for two hours just to spend $15 for someone to hack my hair off, I decided to drop by my friend's place and ask to borrow his electric clippers. My sister happened to be there as well and she offered to help me cut my hair, which I accepted. She would cut for a couple of minutes and then ask me to check if it was looking okay, as she was scared that she would slip and mess up. Surprisingly, she wasn't doing half bad until it came to my bangs. \n\nNow, my sister had never cut hair before, so when it came to the bangs she was even more intimidated by the idea of cutting them and asked my friend to help. My friend had never cut hair before either, but he claimed to know how the clippers worked as he had just recently gotten his hair cut. So, he took the clippers and buzzed my bangs off. Partially. What he ended up doing was making this bowl-shaped cut in my bangs.\n\nImagine a candy bar. Now take a bite out of the centre of the bar. That was how my hair looked: like someone had taken a bite out of my bangs and left the sides long. What was worse was that when you looked at it, it looked like I had a really bald spot just above my forehead. \n\nFrustrated with how it turned out, I just grabbed the smallest clipper size and buzzed the rest of my hair off.", "summary": "I didn't find a barber that was available, my friend gave me a terrible haircut and I just ended up buzzing it myself."} {"id": "t3_v87au", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Things are going great now, but the future worries me- (20m/20f). I'd love to hear your advice!", "post": "Hey all,\n\nSo my girlfriend and I have been hooking up for about a year and a half and dating for the better part of a year. We have yet to have any major arguments and things are going really great! We share most of the same opinions and outlooks and I think I'm starting to love her.\n\nThe problem: I'm extremely driven (professionally and academically) and she's...well, not. I always pictured my future partner being as motivated to succeed as I am. The last thing I really want is to be the head of a single-income household. I'm on track for a very successful engineering career (well paying internships with prestigious companies and I was flown out to Stanford to perform research with a lab for a semester). On the other hand, she failed out of sociology freshman year and is very uncertain of what she wants to do with her life. Whatever it is, she will likely depend on her future husband to provide for the family (though money does NOT matter to her. I'm confident she'd be content with a combined income of 50k/yr).\n\nSimilarly, I'm very curious and get by pretending to be intelligent while friends ask me how I can be so patient with her (stereotypical blonde). I come from a rather poor family while she comes from a decently wealthy one. I've supported myself since I was 16 while she has never had a job and I honestly can't picture her in a professional setting.\n\nUltimately, I'm not sure what to do about the future. I always pictured being with someone as driven as myself and she's quite the opposite. On the other hand, I really love spending time with her and for the time being, we have a great relationship. Any advice?\n\nThank you for taking the time to read this, I'd love to hear your opinions!", "summary": "Our relationship is going great. However, her lack of drive concerns me about her future. I'm scared of having a \"trophy\" wife. Advice?"} {"id": "t3_1x5ss9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "To what extent should a new spouse be involved in what goes on between an ex spouse and the child they share?", "post": "I'm new here and I'm in need of advice. I'll try hard to keep it short although its a pretty long story. Its kind of hard to explain, but I'll try. I was married to a woman for 5 years and we share a son. I got custody of my son in the divorce. Later on, I got remarried to one of my best friends. Honestly, she is great and I love her very much. The issue is that any time I have to talk to my ex (which is not exactly frequent, but its enough to keep her updated on our son) my wife starts to question me, almost like an interrogation. It got to the point that I told her that if anything significant was said that I'll inform her, other than that I'm not going to bother bringing it up. You can imagine how well that went over.\n\nI guess what I want to know is am I wrong for keeping details that I consider mundane to myself since I don't even respond to her unless it involves our son? Where is the line drawn? I mean, my ex is not a good person but she is still my childs mother. But what are my duties to my wife in this situation?", "summary": "My current wife is upset because I don't tell her every little thing I discuss with my ex wife about our son together. Am I wrong?"} {"id": "t3_2xom0w", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "A video has been bothering me for quite some time now...", "post": "While i was still having a FWB relationship with my ex we made a video and I told him we should because it was hot at the time. So we did and i found out while he was telling me he wanted to be with me again that he had slept with my best friend while he would visit me when he came home from college (Me and this girl are no longer friends). Then I was on reddit and found a thread about revenge fucking, turns out that my ex had replied to the thread saying that i was the revenge fuck and he cut it off. OK well i coped with that and moved on with my life. Well the one guy i was dating had told me he saw a porn video with me in it. Now i thought it was a joke at first, but when he told me that he could see my tattoos and other distinguishing marks i have i became overwhelmed. I broke down crying. I am worried that my now boyfriend will see it and i want to find it and make sure it is not out there anymore. I worry about it everyday and I have no idea. So to that asshole i hope it boosted your ego about your sex life. You are a dick and i fucking hate you.", "summary": "FWB with ex, made video of us having sex, told it was on the internet by guy i dated, don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_4tx93s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (23m) am struggling to get over my recent ex (22f) leaving me for someone else suddenly.", "post": "So a few weeks ago, I was in a relationship that lasted a 2-3 months and seemed to be going really well, no arguments and we spent most of our free time together. Then all of a sudden, one day she says we \"need to talk\".\n\nWe go for a walk for an hour or so and she says that she doesn't want to see me any more, but doesn't give any clear reason as to why. I ask her if there's someone else, and she clearly says that's not the case. I don't like it, but I accept it and we part on good terms.\n\nThen very shortly after (a week or two) I see that she's in a relationship with someone she says was a \"close friend\" but that there was no chance there'd ever be a romantic feeling from her side.\n\nEver since this I can't help but feel extremely hurt and angry that she so blatantly lied to me, and I find myself thinking (and unfortunately dreaming) about her often and can't get it out of my head. I also can't stop thinking that she was cheating on me with him as well.\n\nIt's been over a week since I found this out and I just can't seem to get it out of my head. What can I do?", "summary": "Recent ex broke up with me out of the blue and lied about the reasons why, then was very quickly in a relationship with a \"just a friend\"."} {"id": "t3_3z0wvf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 M] just found out that my GF [23 F] slept with my best friend way before we were together. They've been completely honest with me about it, but I'm still finding the situation really weird? Any advice?", "post": "I [22 M] just found out that my GF [23 F] slept with my best friend way before we were together. \nThis is going to completely sound like a plot from a movie or something but its completely true.\n\nMy best friend from school came round for new year and was going to meet my new girlfriend for the first, whom I've been going out with for about 6 weeks. I showed him a picture of her when he got here and he went \"Oh, Shit! I know her\".\n\nHe then told me in their first year of uni that they hooked up together for a few months (so 4 years ago). I then asked her and she confirmed it.\n\nThey've been completely honest with me about it and both say it was in the past, and that it doesn't make either of them uncomfortable; but I'm still finding the situation really weird? And honestly makes me wonder if there could be a future for us.\n\nAny advice?", "summary": "found out my GF and best friend had a thing 4 years ago, and its really put doubts into my mind. What do people think?"} {"id": "t3_4dco1q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] with my girlfriend [20F] of 7 months, how to avoid the surprise breakup.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for just over 7 months. We live together (she moved in with me, she's not on the lease) and we are in love.\n\nThe problem is that we're in completely different stages of life. I am about to graduate college, I know what I want to accomplish in life, and I have a good understanding of who I am as a person.\n\nShe is still finding herself, and what she wants to do with her life and isn't going to school or chasing any dreams.\n\nI've decided that I need to end our relationship because of this mismatch in maturity level, even though we are happily in love. I've tried pushing her to decide what she wants to accomplish in life and chase some goals and do some self progression. But now I realize that that's something that she needs to do herself and that I shouldn't try to push her to meet my expectations that are unreasonable to expect from someone in her stage of life. Despite the conversations we've had about goals and ambition, she doesn't know that this breakup is coming because our relationship is happy and full of love. My question is, am I an asshole for blindsiding her with this breakup? Is there any way that I can avoid surprising her with the breakup?", "summary": "My girlfriend thinks everything in our relationship is perfect, but I've decided that I want to break up. How can I avoid blindsiding her with this breakup?"} {"id": "t3_yppp7", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Please Help! My mother has recently become ill and cannot take care of her dog. Now he is mine. The carpet is his toilet, he has severe separation anxiety, and throws up when he gets nervous. How do I help him cope with the move?", "post": "My mom has had Topher since he was a year old, he is part chihuahua / part mini dachshund, and has never been trained properly. Since her illness, my mom cannot take care of him and he was either going to me or the pound, probably to be put down. So my husband and I agreed to take him into our tiny apartment. Where, by the way, we already have a part border collie / part Australian Shepard. She's the exact opposite of Topher: house-trained, obedient, and very calm. Together, they has no problems at all with food or toys but Topher is about to change her. Yesterday, she peed in the house. She hasn't done that since she was 6 weeks old. We are getting complaints from our neighbors that he will bark, howl, and scream all day while my husband and I are at work. Please help us. We really don't want to send him to the pound or anything like that. This was an unexpected thing and we are not financially prepared to send him to a training day camp.", "summary": "Unexpectedly acquired a new dog. He is converting my other dog to his evil ways. How do I go Harry Potter on his Voldemort ass?"} {"id": "t3_2b44vc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Personal Issues] Me: 20M. She: 17. We are talking, there are clear feelings for eachother (although not expressed, it's obvious) I feel anxious when I am not talking to her or if she has not responded in some time, and there is nothing but my own paranoia making me feel anxious.", "post": "This is happening right now, but it has always happened in all of my relationships whether we are just talking, hooking up, dating. And whether she was 21 and i was 19, if she was 15 and i was 16, 18 and 18, it does not matter, whenever I am not talking to a girl I am seeing, I get some sort of anxiety from not talking with them. \n \nI am doing a lot better, as I have been trying to fix it, but I just get in my own head about things. I think that because she isn't talking to me, hasn't responded to me, or because I am not talking to her currently, I feel like she is not interested and I get super anxious. And I know that I shouldn't be paranoid about anything because 99% of the time it works out in the end or it ends poorly because of my own paranoia. \n \nFor this example, we are talking on facebook, and she doesn't go on very often and so therefor does not get to talk a lot. Which I am okay with, but it just builds up in my head for no reason, like because she isn't talking to me, or hasn't responded, she isn't interested. I really just want to know a way to break out of my paranoia, getting in my own head, and maybe just put a stop to all of my anxiety for this stuff because it screws with me all of the time. I am not trying to come off as cocky or as thinking that all girls like me, because I know that isn't true, I just know that most of the time my paranoia goes unprovoked.", "summary": "I have anxiety and get in my own head when a girl I am seeing and I aren't talking or she hasn't responded to me, how do I stop the paranoia and anxiety altogether? Or at least calm it down significantly?"} {"id": "t3_13kujk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24] love my boyfriend [27] but I don't know if I really want to be in a relationship.", "post": "We had a whirlwind of a honeymoon phase. It lasted 6 months, longer than the honeymoon period usually does. We always fought a lot, from the very beginning. He broke up with me for a day. Despite all this we wanted to move in together, so we did. We're compatible in ways I didn't know it was possible to be compatible with someone.\n\nNow that he's living with me I'm starting to realize how much things just aren't the same as when we were commuting. I'm spending most of my time with him. I sort of want to be out partying as much as possible. I know I could pick up and go through a lot of guys too, which sounds like fun. Not to mention, living with him has been stressful and my health hasn't been quite as awesome as it was. I have IBD and my stomach has been acting up since he moved in.\n\nNow that the honeymoon period is over, the relationship is less exciting. It's still nice to have him around but I'm realizing how much moving in changed everything. Not sure this is what I want for the rest of my life. I feel too young for this to be it.", "summary": "BF of 6 months just moved in. Not feeling the spark so much anymore. The relationship seems like constant work. Is it worth staying around for the commitment when I could be out having fun?"} {"id": "t3_2rlxpv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M 19] and my girlfriend [F 19] have begun to drift apart after 1 year and 3 months of dating.", "post": "So my girlfriend and I met through school, and instantly developed a deep friendship and love for each other over. We started dating early November that year. Both our family's do not approve of dating, or at least show a negative attitude towards it whenever they suspected us of going out. Now we've graduated and have continued dating and have done so in secrecy for more than a year, but we've been drifting apart due to lack of classes and courses together and family issues on both sides. Thing is, that she doesn't seem to mind this and on our anniversary and holidays she will remind me of how much I mean to her and how she hopes we can keep dating. The thing is that its been apparent that we've been drifting apart but both love each other deeply, and I don't want to bring this up with her if it is just an issue on my side. We rarely talk much anymore, and with us not having any more courses together for the year, it seems to keep getting worse. \n\nBoth of us are very happy and don't mind the distance, but its almost to the point that we would go weeks without talking. So I guess I wanted to ask if anyone has any advice!", "summary": "Girlfriend and I have dated for a year, and now due to lack of classes together and family issues, have begun to drift apart. We still love each other but sometimes don't talk for long periods of time."} {"id": "t3_51i0gb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [16f] father [50m] and I constantly fight. Our latest argument is over him not allowing me to drive.", "post": "So, a bit of background: for the past one and a half years, my dad and I have constantly been fighting, over various topics. I'm a high school junior.\n\nOur latest bone of contention is over me driving. I want to drive, really badly. As it stands now, I've had my permit for 11 months, but have only been in the driver's seat 3 or 4 times. \n\nMy dad is really reluctant to let me drive, because I do have a lot of difficulty remembering directions. Inside our little town I am OK, but as soon as we get on the highway I am lost. For some reason, directions just don't stick in my head. \n\nHe thinks memorizing directions is really important, GPS is not an option.\n\nAt this point, I really ~~need~~ want to drive. I'm in a school program where I leave my school (15 minutes away, no buses) early and take the rest of my classes at a community college. \n\nAt this point, my mom is dropping me off at school on her way to work, and my dad is driving me from the school to the community college. This is a lot of hassle for all of us involved.\n\nI have enough money saved to buy a car, but I can't drive! I've asked my mom to teach me how to drive, but she just says to sort it out with my dad.\n\nCan any of y'all give me some advice on how to sort this out? I've drafted a powerpoint showing the financial benefits of me driving, but somehow I don't think it will help.\n\nThis issue is really straining our relationship and I don't see a way out.", "summary": "dad won't let me learn how to drive, but I desperately want to. how can I convince him to let me learn?"} {"id": "t3_36xfrt", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Am I[17/M] right to be annoyed at girlfriend[17/F] because her choice of best friend[17/M]?", "post": "We've been together for ~5 months and I'd say we work pretty well. Lately she's become best friends with a guy who had an insane thing for her around the time we got together, and as a result he started to badmouth me to people (including my close friend group). They also made out on Christmas day, just a few days before we started seeing each other. They see each other a lot (pretty much whenever we're not together). I know she won't cheat but I feel a bit uncomfortable knowing that she's so close with a guy who openly talked shit about me. \n\nAs soon as I started feeling this way I told her about it, and she agreed with me when I told her I thought he was shitty, but she still hangs out with him. I'm not going to give her an ultimatum or anything, but I'm feeling a little annoyed that she said that she agrees with me about him. She is still best friends with him, and sees him regularly.\n\nI feel like I'm being a bit shitty for thinking this, but I'm sure if It were me in her situation I'd have acted totally differently.", "summary": "Gf's best friend relentlessly talked shit about me, told Gf how I felt, she doesn't seem to care"} {"id": "t3_101vc7", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Bad Cop/Good Cop Altercation early Sunday morning", "post": "So, Saturday I went to a buddies house down the road(same subdivision) to drink, eat and watch football. Well, about 2AM-ish, I decided that instead of driving, I would walk the mile-ish home.\nSo about 3 blocks from my house, I get hit up with the spotlight on one of those new Ford police cars. I was on the phone, so I told her I would call her back. This really young officer hops out, pistol in hand, then he proned? me out, cuffed & searched me. Then took my wallet and cellphone and went back to his car. I have a Concealed Weapons Permit (Obviously, I wan't carrying), but he didn't know that until he took my whole wallet. He got out again at gunpoint, and asked me where my weapon was. I told him that I wasn't carrying, and he super searched me again. A few minutes later another car pulls up, and it's an older officer(50's I'd assume).\nHe starts talking to me, asks me where I'm walking from, and if \"I knew where I was.\" I of course told them, and pointed out that my house was blocks away. He uncuffed me and told me to give him a minute. He had a convo with the first officer, and came back with my wallet and cellphone.\nI was ready to get home and asked if I could continue my walk home, and he told me to \"wait a few more mins\", as he had \"more questions to ask.\" When the younger guy drove off, the older officer told me to hop in, he'd give me a ride to my house down the road.\nHe told me the rookie(idk if he was or not, honestly) wanted to book me for drunk in public, obstructing traffic, and something else I don't really remember. He told me that in his opinion, walking home was 100x better than driving home; and since it was in the same neighborhood, he really had no problems with it.\nHe even waited outside my house and pointed his spotlight so I could see the walkway and front porch.", "summary": "Got kinda drunk, walked home instead of driving, got stopped, was about to probably go to jail, Good Guy Cop pulls up and saves my night and bank account."} {"id": "t3_k7jim", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is there a non-surgical way to make boobs larger?", "post": "To start out, I'm pretty happy with my self image. Now more than ever, really. \nIn the past month I've become more active than I have ever been in my life: I joined a group that does parkour every day, I go dancing (salsa and tango) for hours and hours, and I think I might join a club soccer team. I'm loving it, I feel stronger and healthier than ever.\nHowever, while I've never been overweight, I apparently have had some extra pounds that are now magically disappearing. My Mostly-A cups are shrinking to Bearly-A cups.\nI already have to special order bras, because finding a nice A cup in the store is damn near impossible, and I don't want to go and get a whole new set of AA cups.\n\nSo, dearest reddit, I ask: is there any thing I can do, anything I can eat or some exercise I can do, that will maintain/increase boob size? \n\nI have no interest in implants, or even in having huge boobs, but much like there are many vision correction options other than Laser Surgery that you never hear about, I was wondering if the great commercial world has hidden the non-surgery boob increasing options.\n\nIf there aren't, well I'm sure that my life will go on just fine, but I was just wondering...", "summary": "Started exercising, small boobs are becoming smaller. Surgery is expensive and looks/feels awful, are there any other options?"} {"id": "t3_34d0jk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my crush [15 F] known her for three weeks, do I go for it?", "post": "Hey Reddit! I've lurked a bit but need some quick advice. So there is this girl at my school. In this case, we will call her some really generic name to use to keep her anonymous... Let's go with Jane. \n\nJane and I met on the bus when she moved into a nearby apartment complex. I waved at her on her first day since she seemed a bit lonely, and since I've been there before, I thought I would just wave to make her comfortable. She waves back and days after we just wave at each other. That was on a Monday and silly ol' me still didn't know her name three days later on Thursday. So I sat next to her Friday morning.\n\nShe looked at me with a look of surprise as I asked her of her name. She told me her name and we started just talking after that. Then we started texting and soon after, on the second thursday, I hoped over some fences to get to her complex and play some basketball with her.\n\nNow here we are three weeks later (sooo today to put that into perspective.) We are flirting and calling each other cute and being cutesy in a way, like my arm around her shoulder, things like that. Thing is, as you've read in the title hopefully.. She is fifteen. She turns sixteen in September. I turned seventeen in February. I am a junior in high school while she is a sophomore. Should I go for it or is this not something I should do?", "summary": "Like a girl on my bus that is a year and a half younger than me. Is it appropriate or am I in the wrong?"} {"id": "t3_4l9qaj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ex-Girlfriend (20F) broke up with me (23M), wants to be friends but sends mixed messages.", "post": "So my girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me on Tuesday, we have had a messy time lately and we both saw this coming and knew it was for the best. We talked for ages, promised to be friends one day, broke down and cried together and then kissed each other goodbye for what I thought would be the final time.\n\nShe messages me the very next day asking for my resume so she can use it to apply for a job (in another state, one which she never mentioned before) and then continues to talk to me like usual, even talking about the possibilty of reconciling in the future. Takes me a couple of days to send the resume to her and she doesnt ask about it again until I had send it through, telling me that the job application process doesnt actually open until June 15... (was this just an excuse to talk to me?)\n\nShe also invites me to her work this week and gives me a free meal. Her work was busy so I didnt speak to her much and left without saying goodbye. She immediately messages me and tells me how sorry she was she couldnt come sit with me which was quite out of character seeing it wasnt that bad (cmon i still got free food) and she had no control over the situation.\n\nNow the weekend comes and I inbox her asking what shes getting up to for it, the first time I've initiated contact. We talk for a while but I notice something was off. She tells me now talking everyday isn't helping the grieving process (wtf?) and we should take a few days break. Weird considering she was the one initiating contact all week. This has left me very confused as I hoped we were on the path to getting back together.\n\nIn summary, my question is: Is she just keeping me around as an emotional safety blanket? If so what techniques can I use to produce a more desirable outcome? I still want this girl in my life and want to marry her one day...", "summary": "Girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me, messaging me ever since talking about normal stuff and some talk about being together again one day. Weekend comes around and she shuts me off."} {"id": "t3_4ndhm6", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Sit in my seat? Cheat off of me? NO.", "post": "Since I'm heading into my senior year of college, I thought I would share this story that happened to me during my freshman year. I took a general psychology class that was pretty easy. The professor would literally give us a study guide that had the exact questions on the exam and we would just need to cram the answers the night before. I would sit in the same spot in the back every single class. Then, the day of the final came. As my friend and I were about to sit in our seats, some fraternidouche and his dopey ass friend took our spots. Excuse me? No. We ended up sitting in the seats next to the frat guy and the TAs handed out the exam packets that were different colors so that it would be hard to cheat. So, I'm doing the exam and halfway through, I hear the guy start saying, \"... the answer is C...#6 is A..\". He keeps going on and I realize he has the fucking audacity to cheat off of my answers and read my friend's answers off to his friend. I thought about just raising my hand and tell on him for cheating but it's a hassle to go through the process of reporting it and I just wanted to eat a burger after the final. Honestly, it was so obvious that I wondered why no one could hear him do it. I circled my actual answers in my exam packet and began bubbling in the wrong answers on my bubble sheet. Slowly, I erased my already bubbled-in answers while filling in the fake ones and replaced them with the wrong answers. He filled them in exactly. Dumbass. I remember one question asked, \"Who founded psychoanalysis?\". One of the answers was, \"Your mom\". He didn't even bother to go through the exam pages! Obviously, no one would actually bubble in that answer. The final was 40% of our overall grade, meaning if you failed the final, you failed the class. Karma's a bitch, you douche.", "summary": "Guy steals my seat and tries to cheat off my test. Don't want to make a scene, so I give him 100% wrong answers. Guy fails test because of \"Your mom.\"."} {"id": "t3_1rqm2d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf [23f] \"gets off\" on having me [20m] do feminine things.", "post": "Been dating for almost 7 months and have been falling in love with her. She's the perfect woman for me. Confident, beautiful, intelligent, funny. The issue, is for the past few months she has been \"getting off\" on MY femininity.\n\nIt is now regular foreplay for her to dress me in lingerie and actually put makeup on me. More than a little strange for me. But whatever I guess, people have their own fetishes I suppose. But now she even likes me to wear her panties under my regular clothes all day, including going to work.\n\nWhen I told her I wasn't totally comfortable she got very defensive and called me a prude and this and that so now I just go along with it and do whatever she says with a smile, and she is definitely happier with me and therefore, our relationship is stronger.\n\nShould I be going along with her fantasies in and out of the bedroom if I'm not comfortable with them? Is this just another part of being in a relationship? Lately I have even found myself acting more demure and feminine, even at work. So I feel like it's spilling over into other parts of my life. It's hard to assert manliness throughout the day when you're manhood is tucked into a pair of panties.", "summary": "Gf's fetish for femininity is making me a little uncomfortable and even altering how I act and think throughout the day."} {"id": "t3_ki72j", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Submitting application to UT as a transfer. HELP PLS!", "post": "Graduated from Hs in 06, and literally was the midway marker interms of gpa. I was exactly top 50%, thought for sure I'd get a full ride due to athletics, so like a dumb ass I just slept in class and never once studied. Spent one semester playing in college and hated it, so instead of stickin it out and giving it my all, I quit, didn't drop classes but quit team. After college bball I spent a few years working and pursueing dreams Id never obtain (mulit-platinum rock band), and fell on my face in terms of self worth. I began to see a pattern in my ways and that was quiting, I decided to go back to school and never give up. I enrolled in a community college and was stunned at my ability to learn if I just showed up and tried. Two years later I have grown out of my current community institution and with around 39 credits of transferable course work, 46 in all, I have achieved a 3.54 gpa, 3.7 if you dont count the non-tranferables and replace one of the classes I took twice with the higher of the two grades. If I take spanish and college algebra next semester I will quallify for automatic admission. Ive spoke with admissions office and they assured me I have a shot. I am at the essay poriton of my application, any UT students or alumni have some insight or words of advice?\n\nEssay prompt:Statement of Purpose: REQUIRED \n The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.", "summary": "I have a 50/50 shot of getting in to the school I always wanted but never thought possible, in process of writing the essay portion of application, any advice UT students/Alumni?"} {"id": "t3_3ivklx", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Help! Local jeweler had me buy a diamond for my girlfriend's dream ring and can no longer can sell me the ring!", "post": "I bought a diamond for my girlfriend's dream ring only to find out a month later that they can't sell me that ring anymore. They stopped doing business with the company (Verragio) a few weeks after I bought the diamond and didn't tell me or warn me until I went in to pay for the ring in full! So, I found a different jeweler in the area that can get me the ring but they won't give me the lifetime warranty on it because the diamond isn't from them. The diamond has been in the safe since purchase at the original jeweler I visited, but the jeweler will not refund me or help me whatsoever. \n\nI paid 3k for the diamond and I don't want to worry about the ring's future so I need to get the warranty. However, that would mean I'd need to buy a new diamond using more money since I can't get refunded on the first diamond. I emailed both the owners about this horrible inconvenience last week only to get no response. The only other idea my friends have came up with is to share my story and give them bad PR until they cave. I have no idea what to do. I don't have the money to just buy another diamond. I'm 22 and have other expenses to worry about!!", "summary": "Local jeweler scams me into buying a diamond for a ring they will no longer sell to me when I come in the next month to purchase it in full. I'm out 3k at the moment unless I can persuade them otherwise."} {"id": "t3_2z8ssg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've [26 F] been dating a fellow [27 M] for about 1 month, but I still have an occasional romp with a FWB.", "post": "Hey r/relationships. I need some advice/opinions. I met this awesome guy over a year ago and we recently starting dating (we even talked about this) about 1 month ago. We haven't had the exclusivity talk yet.\n\nHe and I are very similar in we are both weary of commitment and are extremely sexual beings. The sex we have is AMAZING. \n\nThis is where I don't know what to do: We haven't had the talk about exclusivity and he has hinted that he has issues with monogamy. He did explicitly say he wasn't seeing anyone else and I said I was not either. \n\nI guess *technically* I'm not seeing anyone else. However, I have a solid FWB for over 1 year now. At one point I thought I had feelings for him (this is months ago) but they faded away because he and I are just truly incompatible romantically. We see each other maybe once per week or every other week. \n\nThe guy I'm dating and I do lots of fun things together, go to dinner, dancing, etc., but I'm continuing this FWB relationship. Like I said, we haven't defined exclusivity yet and if we do I will happily end the FWB situation and stop seeing him completely (even platonic), because I don't think that's the right thing to do. \n\nI think I would like him to become my boyfriend eventually. I got out of a terrible 4 year relationship with an alcoholic and swore I would never compromise myself for a man ever again, so I have been really afraid of commitment. This new guy is amazing. But I'm not sure if hes sleeping with anyone else either. \n\nI know I'm here for advice, but I think I'm going to tell him I'm sleeping with someone but tell him if he wants to be exclusive, lets go for it! \n\nI'm just curious if what I'm doing right now is wrong. Besides the ex boyfriend from 3 years ago I've never had another relationship. In fact, I've never had a normal, stable relationship. \n\nThrowaway for reasons.", "summary": "Dating a guy approx. 1 month and haven't defined exclusivity. I would like to at some point soon, but I'm still sleeping with a FWB. "} {"id": "t3_4zt5a5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17 F] have a boyfriend [18 M] of 8 months. I feel like he doesn't really love me.", "post": "These 8 months have been such a rollercoaster ride, sometimes, I can't wrap my head around things.\nThere have been really great times, and this is the realest relationship I've had in years. (My last 3 ex's cheated on me.) However, our bad times always come out just as intense. We hurt each other emotionally a lot, and it takes long for the wound to heal.\n\nMost days, he's always so indifferent. I feel like he doesn't really care about me as a person, and he's mostly just in it for some emotional support, and to have someone to talk to, or someone to depend on when things go to shit. He might even just be in it for the sexual/intimate benefits a relationship brings. I don't think he's actually in love with ME.\nEverytime I bring it up, he gets emotional, downright refuses to talk about the problem, and accuses me of not being happy with him and him not being good enough for me. It drives me nuts. I'm the type of person to want to talk things out straight away and resolve it so we can move on rather than let it sit.\n\nAnother thing is, he doesn't seem to appreciate the sacrifices I've made or the effort I exert at all! He tells me I should care about him more, and I do. I feel I've done enough by staying up super late to talk and play with him despite having classes the next morning at 7 A.M., then I cut down my study time to be with him, and I spend less time in college with my friends to come back home and spend time with him. And he has the nerve to tell me I don't show I care.\n\nSometimes, I get tired of always being the one to be sweet and to initiate. I wish he would just do it too sometimes.\n\nHow do I deal with this? How do I bring it up to him?", "summary": "my boyfriend of 8 months is often indifferent towards me and never initiates or does anything sweet, I feel he doesnt really love me as a person and only keeps me around for emotional security."} {"id": "t3_41gwbd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "This subreddit has made me lose trust in everyone and in turn ruining my relationship.", "post": "Just like the title says. I read these posts daily because it was automatically added to my front page (on mobile). \n\nMy(20M) gf (20) has never done anything in our relationship that has led me to believe she would do something that could hurt me but these posts have made me lose faith in people. I see posts daily of cheaters and how terrible some people can be about it; it makes me think any one of my friends is capable of anything.\n As I said before my gf has never given me any hint of infidelity but this subreddit makes me think anything is possible. She is avidly against cheaters so I always assumed that she would never do anything like that but I say a comment earlier today that said, \"people hate about others what they hate the most about themselves\". I think I need to stop looking at these posts.", "summary": "I have seen posts about all sorts of infidelity on this subreddit that has led me to lose trust in my friends and gf for no reason."} {"id": "t3_1l5apd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (22F) boyfriend (23M) was disrespectful towards me. It's been months, but I cannot get over it. Feels like nothing can be done. Help?", "post": "We've been together for three years. My boyfriend called me a fatass to his mother two months ago. I saw the text when I went through his phone (he allowed me 100% transparency because of a previous trust problem with him). His mother told him not to talk about me that way, which was nice, but she didn't dispute it.\n\nThe thing is, I didn't think I was that fat before all this. If I lost 20 pounds, I'd be skinny. Maybe I'm not carrying the weight in the right places, or I could just be in denial about what I look like. But I can't let it go. It keeps me up every night. I lay down at ten, I don't fall asleep until 1 because I toss and turn thinking about it. I get anxiety attacks over it.\n\nHe keeps trying to assure me that he didn't mean it, and that he just said it because he was angry. I can't believe him, though. There's been some obvious weight gain since the beginning of our relationship, but I didn't think it was enough to be a cause for concern. My BMI is 23.6. A little on the higher end, but not overweight. Still within normal range.\n\nI can't even think about anything sexual with him. It's weird, I'm almost the one who's repulsed by him. Every time he tries to initiate something, I just hear \"fatass\" over and over again. I wonder if he'll look at and focus on my problem areas. I don't fantasize about him anymore. I simply don't wan to have sex with him again. Ever. I keep thinking that I just need time to get over it, but it's been a long time. And there's nothing he can do to fix it.", "summary": "My boyfriend called me fat. It's been months, but I can't get over it. I've developed major insecurity issues and anxiety. What can I do to get over this?"} {"id": "t3_3feikl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (22/M) have a soulmate (20/F), we like each other for a long time and have feelings, but there is a problem, we both have relationships and have a couple of days to see each other.", "post": "So here is the story:\n\nThere are a Boy and a Girl. They become friends, they start liking each other, but they are afraid to tell each other about how do they feel, because they are not sure if both of them feel in the same way. The Boy starts liking another girl, they get into relationship, and the Girl gets upset and finds a boyfriend as well.\n\nAfter 3 years of, pretty much, silence, the Boy and the Girl meet up, they talk, and they realise that the friendship is still there, and that they both still like each other. But now they are older and smarter, they talk about the way they feel. They talk about the past, and everything becomes nice and clear.\n\nDespite one thing. They live in different countries, they both have relationships and they have couple of days left to spend in the same city, after what they will leave.\n\nSo here is the question: what should or should not be done? How should they behave? Who should do what?\nWe both will be reading the post.", "summary": "After 3 years both have feelings, but both have relationships and have a couple of days left to figure things out, but have no idea what to do."} {"id": "t3_2zshuw", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I (M19) need some Life advice", "post": "Hello,\n\nSo, basically i need some advice. After leaving High School (2 years ago) i decided to get a job working for a food chain company (first ever job). Worked their for 3 months or so and decided to leave and go to University however, while leaving i didn't have the most positive experience.\n\nNow, finishing the first semester of uni, i found out that my Overseas trip (planned before starting uni and said to be OK by the Uni) would in fact not be OK and that No matter what i could do, my week long trip would result in failing of all papers that semester. (Uni refunded costs of semester after much debate)\n\nSo, its now been 7 months since i have been working or studying. I decided a month ago, i wouldn't return to Uni This Semester (just over it and needed a break). I currently owe about 12000 in student loan and 3000 or so to my parents who lent me some money and i need some advice.", "summary": "My first job left a bad taste, same with first year at uni. Owe money and scared about even applying for a job after previous experiance"} {"id": "t3_10ikmx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit everyone seems to defend cashiers, but I want to know what is the worst or most awkward experience with a cashier.", "post": "For me around two and a half years ago I moved from Canada to the U.S. Now getting a state I.d is not a instant process so all I had was my passport and my B.C I.d foolishly thinking I would be fine with those I left to pick up some canned air. To make a long story short the cashier and her manager refused to allow me to make the purchase due to having in their words \"a false I.d\". I ended up having to call customer service so I could complete my purchase. \n\nP.S I now work at the same store.", "summary": "Tried to buy canned air with a Canadian I.D was refused because it was \"obviously\" a fake I.d."} {"id": "t3_2gx57j", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trusting that my gf locked the door", "post": "Okay, so my gf and I are in a long distance relationship, 4 hours apart. I see her most weekends, but a good amount of the time it coincides with me being at my parents house. Okay, so we did \"it\" the first time and got away with it, but she went to the bathroom, down the hallway. She came back into the room, and closed the door, and climbed back into bed naked. Things started getting hot and heavy again, and I looked at the door and asked if she locked the door. Confidently, she told me that she had locked the door, and we continued on our \"endeavour.\" I'm climbing up her body and the second I'm about to go in, my dad opens the door unannounced...I now do not know how to leave my room....", "summary": "TIFU by not making sure my door was locked, and I think my dad saw my gf's tits, and my manhood...and I don't know how to leave the room"} {"id": "t3_sex1a", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Need help--strange etiquette dilemma. Please read!", "post": "Okay, so here's my story: 9 years ago my boyfriend died. He had been out of contact with his family during most of the time we were together, and they lived across the country so I had no opportunity to really get to know them at all. When he died, I flew across the country to go to the funeral and I was able to meet his mother, father, and sister. I was all kinds of messed up at the time and I have since lost everything that I ever had regarding the whereabouts of his family. I have periodically searched the internet to see if I can find them, and recently his little sister opened a FB account. I really want to get in touch but I don't know what to say, and I don't want to upset the family. I should mention that his family was very gracious with me and they were thankful of my relationship with him, so I know that they don't hate me. What do I do? Do I send this girl a message? What should it say? Thank you for any insights.", "summary": "Should I send a message to my dead boyfriend's sister, who I recently found on FB? What should I say?"} {"id": "t3_2k8ayl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [32 M] with my GF [31 F], My GF keeps comparing me to her friends Boyfriends", "post": "In a recent argument with my GF she threw out the, \"My friends boyfriend always gets the bags for her and always holds doors for her etc.\" lines to me, basically comparing me to other relationships. This took me by surprise because I feel like I am very expressive, polite, affectionate and loving towards her and it hurt to see that angle thrown at me. \n\nShe pointed out an isolated incident where I didn't pick up her luggage after pulling up to get her from the airport (the airport was really busy and I was in the far lane near the traffic so I asked if she got it and she said yes.) That whole trip home she was mad at me (though I didn't find this out until months later.) Then she gave another example of a time when I only pushed the door open for her and didn't stand there and hold it for her.\n\nI mean, this angered me a lot and I need advice on how to respond to these accusations - I feel like they are false (which i've told her) and I feel like she's using a check-list tally on me sometimes. I do many nice things for her on the daily, cooking dinner, offering to carry her bags, cleaning, bringing her flowers and don't expect anything in return (of course she never mentions these things when she accuses me of not caring or doing manly things for her like her friends bf) Help/advice!? Thanks in advance my friends!", "summary": "My GF accuses me of not showing the same affection as her friend's boyfriends, which I don't agree with and need advice/help responding"} {"id": "t3_3yg4w4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] with my BF [27M] of 2 years, its left to me to organise everything and I'm tired of it.", "post": "My problem isn't a huge one compared to many others, but its driving me insane..\n\nI feel entirely responsible for organising all dates, plans and holidays for my boyfriend and I. BF will sometimes suggest 'lets do something later' or 'lets go to eat', but then its always left down to me to pick what to do or where to eat. I've suggested and organised all our holidays and I resent doing it, so much so that I have two solo travel trips booked next year because I simply couldn't face having to organise everything for him again. For the record, he makes more money than he knows what to do with and I am a student scraping together enough for rent and food each month. \n\nThis has all culminated in him promising to make new years plans two days ago and never getting round to it. I pestered him earlier and he basically told me I could look online for things to do and sent me \u00a3100. I relented and agreed to book tickets to an event later in the evening, and suggested he could make us plans for beforehand, to which he replied 'so this is a test?'. I completely blew up and he backed down and agreed to organise the whole night, but its left me feeling exasperated. This is the only thing we've ever really bickered about (its come up before as well) but it does feel like a complete drain on the relationship. \n\nI really want a partner who is ambitious and spontaneous and who will one day pack up his stuff and travel the world with me (a huge personal ambition).. is this too much to ask or am I being taken advantage of by doing all the organisational legwork in the relationship? How do I fix this?", "summary": "I have to organise all dates and trips between me and my BF and I'm getting sick of it being so one sided."} {"id": "t3_1ig68b", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "I'm conflicted between my social life and my fitness", "post": "I leave for college in about 4 weeks, (I live in California now and I'll be out in Colorado) and I'm having trouble deciding whether to go to my martial arts classes (muay thai) that go from 7:00pm to 10:00pm, or hang out with my friends who I won't see for the next couple months. Normally I could balance both out during school, because I could go to the gym and no one would be doing anything that night. But now since it's summer most plans happen around 7 and I find myself free only once everyone has gone home. I love being around my friends but I also love the feeling of working out and I have a lot of fun during the classes as well. I'd really appreciate some outside opinions.", "summary": "leaving for college soon, love working out but also love being with my friends, and near impossible to do both during the night."} {"id": "t3_1bcm5h", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I can't kiss for shit.", "post": "At this rave I was attaining there was this girl I fancied for a while which had to work and could party for a short time with us, in a really let's say clear moment I told a friend of mine that I liked her and she told me to go after her and say it. So I did, she said she thought she liked me and we went to some place and she kissed me but I pretty much failed horribly and even thinking about that peculiar moment, the kiss that just didn't work has made me cringe 100 times, kinda ruined my space but damn, I just can't controll the thoughts, suddenly I bust myself facepalming or saying something along the lines of ugh. I just hope this doesn't ruins things any soon, friends have said it won't but I'm not too sure.", "summary": "I can't kiss for shit thus failing epicly and cringing a hundred times just thinking about that moment at a rave."} {"id": "t3_1t0iux", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I just fired HSBC: I'm trying to understand what they are trying to do.", "post": "I had my emergency fund (which was/is considerable) at HSBC, and it was over 6 figures with them when their savings rates were competitive. Starting about 18 or so months ago, something happened. Their rates started to nosedive. I moved most of the money out of that account, into a high(er) rate account at Amex, but I left enough in to buy a new car sometime, probably the first quarter of next year.\n\nI was looking at my Quicken entries for that account and saw that the minimal interest was decreasing month to month. I checked the statement and saw the interest on this \"high interest\" account was down to 0.05%. 5 basis points? Really? Are you kidding me? You can get 10 times that at quite a few places. In addition, HSBC had eliminated the ability to download statements to using Quicken format, and had tightened bank transfers. The most recent announcement was they would no longer accept traveler's checks for deposit. \n\nI don't really care about that last, but it was clear that whatever HSBC's current business model is, it clearly wasn't courting or even maintaining their consumer customer base. I decided to help them out and initiated a transfer for the entire account balance out of their institution.\n\nDoes anybody here know what they are up to? They used to be very customer friendly, now they are actively driving people away. Why are they doing this:", "summary": "Just fired HSBC due to impossibly low rates and lousy service. I'd advise any redditors with money there to do likewise."} {"id": "t3_52zv71", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "25yrs old, just accepted a position offering 38k/yr", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nLongtime lurker, first post.\n\nAnyway, for the past 2 years I have been working for a wireless carrier earning $15/hr in NJ, with a very small comission structure based off sales & performance earning me around 28k-32k/yr. Long story short, I was finally offered a raise due to performance based reviews after my 2 years there (they had held off on reviews for budgetary reasons), my District Manager made it seem like he pushed for amazing amount and in the end I only received a $0.60 increase. After deciding to leave I accepted the first job offer I received at an IT company, whom which offered me 38k/yr. I only have a HS diploma, no certifications but solid work experience, should I be expecting to be earning more at this point in my life? \n\nI have around $12,000 in debt ($8,500 of it is my financed vehicle), splitting the costs of my 550sqft, 1br apt $1,254/month with my partner. With my old position I feel like I barely had enough to get by, with the occasional guilty pleasure purchase here and there. What can I do now to ensure I'm not spending this new income?", "summary": "Is 38k/yr to little for being 25yrs of age and what can I do to not overspend and get rid of my debt."} {"id": "t3_2roiei", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19F] concerned about my [20M] FWB new relationship", "post": "I [19F] have been messing around with my friend [20M] for a little while now. We hangout a few times a week, go out to eat or a movie, then usually have sex and part ways. Basic FWB relationship. \n\nAbout a month ago, I realized he's been getting more serious with a girl online that he's known for years. She lives states away from him and they have never met (and probably won't anytime soon). They only contact each other through Skype, texting, etc. \n\nHe talks about her every now and then, and it had never bothered me until he recently admitted that he's in love with her. I have seen their texts between one another, and they are very relationship-y. Things like \"You're all I want and think about\" and \"I love you so much\", stuff like that. \n\nI sat him down the other day and asked him if he wanted to end our FWB relationship now that he \"loves\" this other girl. He said that he likes what we have and does not want to stop it. Then, I asked if she knows anything about our situation. Apparently, she knows that I exist and that we have been physical together. \n\nI'm worried that he is not being completely honest with her that he's sleeping around with me. I feel guilty for continuing to have sex with him when he turns around and tells this girl that has no clue what's going on that he loves her. But, on the other hand, I enjoy sleeping with him and pretty much think that this cannot be true love between them since they have never met and he has no problem sneaking around on her. \n\nAny advice on what to do? I have this weird guilty feeling, but if he's okay continuing being FWB, and not telling this girl the truth, is it just none of my business?", "summary": "My FWB has an online love that he clearly is not honest with. I feel bad for this girl, but I want to keep sleeping with him. Conflicted feelings, help!"} {"id": "t3_ewqp4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Should I Pay The VINCI Parking Ticket?", "post": "I parked at Capilano U's short-term parking lot and, realizing I had no change to get a ticket, went inside so I could get change. Upon entering the front entrance of the University, I had completely forgotten my quest to get change and instead went about the business I had initially planned on fulfilling. \n\nSo then I returned to my car and discovered I had this VINCI Parking ticket that I really didn't want to pay. This was around Christmas time so I didn't really have time to dispute it, and over the course of my rambunctious holiday festivities, I lost the ticket. \n\nI went on to the VINCI website to see if I could pay online, but apparently they aren't that advanced yet, so I phoned them. I got a message saying that they were closed, but the list of office hours that followed told me they should be open... \n\nI kept calling and finally, one day, I got a lady who got my message and called me back. I told her my deal, she renewed the seven days for me to pay the smaller amount on the ticket, told me my ticket number, etc.\n\nSo a couple days ago I went there, to their office VERY FAR to pay my 39.20 to this lecherous private parking company to find that they were, in fact, closed. \n\nThey were supposed to be open. Again.", "summary": "I got a private parking ticket at a University that has been a bitch to try and pay, should I bother paying it?"} {"id": "t3_3lng7l", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [19/ M] lack the social skills to talk to anyone online and it is not helping my long distance relationship with a [18/F]", "post": "I can not talk to anyone online like in a call on skype besides one person and this person is my best friend. When I talk to him I get more confidence when I talk to him. Well a few months ago I met a girl while I was on a trip I got her kik and stuff and we started talking and we started dating. I was not until later in the relationship however that we we started to talk on skype. Now here is where my problem starts because I don't know how to talk to someone online, I can do it in person, but online its different the only person I am able to do that with is the friend I talked about earlier. So my question basically is how do I talk to my girlfriend online?", "summary": "Met this girl in real life we talked on skype and I cant talk to her or anyone else online because of my social skills and I need help trying to fix this."} {"id": "t3_lov6y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I ask for very specific Christmas present without seeming selfish/greedy?", "post": "I'm 24, and my BF is 28. We live together (for the past three months) and we've been together a year.\n\nWe have recently come through some really, really tough times together, and are slowly getting back to good. It's work everyday, but it's worth it, because I love him and love our life together. \n\nI'm the kind of person who has always lauded gifts picked out from the heart over ones I've asked for, but I know that my BF is not the romantic type to catch my signals when I hint at something. I feel selfish for thinking about it, but I really want this one specific thing for Christmas this year, as it seems to me that it would be such a sweet symbol of our strenth through these recent struggles. \n\nI have realized that it would be nice if HE picked it out for that reason, but it's just not him. He would never think of that! And even though I've hinted (ie liked the item on facebook), he's not going to pick up the hints. I know him too well! \n\nHere is what I want: \n\nI only want it in silver, so I know it's in his price range. \n\nHere's my question: does it devaule the sentiment and gift if I ask my boyfriend for it? Does it make me seem greedy? I'm not ring hungry...ie he know's we're not near marriage. I've never asked for anything before and he has always given me perfect gifts, but not of this caliber (no jewlery). Men and ladies, what do you think? Is it appropriate to ask?", "summary": "I want a sweet, inexpensive (non-engagement) ring for Christmas, but I don't want to feel selfish for asking my BF for it. "} {"id": "t3_2nvqef", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25M] finally grew to balls to ask my GF [26F] of 5 to try and get a better job.", "post": "Ever since we graduated from college, I've worked in my STEM field and she worked in minimum wage retail, part time (thanks art degree). She has the dream of working in videogame design, which I hoped that she would get into someday.\n\nSince I make 80% of the household income, I pay for 66% of the bills. I was okay with this, because I didn't think she would *still* be working minimum wage this long after school. Every now and again she can't pay her share, so I end up paying 100% of the bills those months. \n\nThis month I told her that I wanted her to apply to jobs in the field she wants this month in lieu of rent, even if she didn't think she was qualified. Then I said that it wouldn't be a bad idea to get more relevant schooling in her desired field (her degree, though relevant, isn't a perfect fit).\n\nShe seemed pissed about this, we haven't spoken since (less than 24hrs and I'm away from home right now). This has been building up in me, she complains about not having enough money but doesn't apply to jobs she can't get because of lack of experience, even when she has an in through our friend network. I don't think it's a laziness thing, but an honest to god depression due to the job market.\n\nAm I being unreasonable or too reasonable? What do you make of this, and depending on her reasponse, how would you proceed. I don't want to break up, I could marry her someday. There are other stressors in the relationship, like my beig away due to work, our non-agreement on children, lowering of sex frequency, and fear of becoming our parents (hers an eternal stay at home mom and my dad a Social introvert)", "summary": "Sick of GF's deadens career, I asked her to apply for jobs even if she doesn't expect to get them in lieu of her share of the rent this month - which has lead to radio silence. What do?"} {"id": "t3_2mm83w", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not knowing my product knowledge.", "post": "This TIFU did not happen today nor did I realize IFU'd the day it happened. \n\nI sell cars for a living. I was working with a gentleman interested in a 2014 2500HD, brand new. Great! We put a deal together with out any issues. I was happy to inform him of the great coverage our vehicles come with. \"The 36 month / 36,000 mile bumper to bumper, 5 year / 100,000 mile power train, AND starting this year 24 month / 24,000 miles scheduled maintenance on every model.\" Happy Customer.\n\nGreat new program the company put out, 24 months/24,000 miles of scheduled maintenance. This includes,\nReplace engine oil and oil filter \nA thorough 27-point vehicle inspection provides a detailed assessment from COMPANY Certified Technicians\n4-wheel tire rotation (excludes dual rear wheel vehicles, all SPORTSCAR models and select SPORTSCAR models \u2013 AB1 model and 1AB package cars \u2013 due to their unidirectional tires.)\n\nOne day, said customer comes in for some scheduled maintenance work. I, unaware of his appointment.\nThe service advisor came up and mentioned there was a customer of mine back there. Said he had some maintenance done but was not covered. Upon looking back at the deal folder, it all clicked. For 2014, every model got the 24/24 EXCEPT for Heavy Duty trucks. (This has since changed for 2015 Models, every model is covered.)\n\nBeing an every day hero, I stepped up to the plate and kept true to my word. He was going to get his 24/24. I am now on the hook for every service visit he has pertaining to the above covered. While feeling like I did the right thing for the customer in the long run, my wallet is feeling something different.", "summary": "Mistakenly told a customer he had car coverage that he didn't actually qualify for, now I'm paying for it."} {"id": "t3_42ouw4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] am confused after my ex-boyfriends death.", "post": "Bare with me a little and I'll explain everything. Firstly, I've been with my ex-boyfriend for a year and lived together most of it. We got tangled up in a lot of things and broke up. We weren't getting along, but we didn't despise each other. 8 months later, we got back together and we had 4 happy months. The happiest, actually. Until his car crash which turned me into nothing. I wasnt able to go to the store and buy bread, let alone sleep, eat, work. In the following weeks, I've been on xanax which helped me sleep and be numb, work, but I felt constant despair moments take reign over me. I've lost all time notion. It's like it's been a year, not a month. Days go by slower or faster. I'm not usually fragile and my emotions work different than others'. When I go through a rough patch, I overcome it easily because I focus on it 100% till it turns to dust. Until recently, without any intention, I met B. I feel like I've been preparing my whole life to meet him. Everything I learned applies and has a use. We are so alike and being with someone who knows your mind without knowing you at all... It's the foundation of magic. And he treats me perfectly; literally, everything I wanted. I still feel a bit numb, but I'm gaining strength. I like being around him. Talking with him. I don't feel guilty, but I don't want to ruin anything. I can't tell if I'm doing right. I don't want to lose this. It feels like everytime I look at him or even think of him, I'm carrying a burden at the same time.", "summary": "my ex boyfriend died a month ago. I felt horrible. I recently met everything i wished for in a guy. Right? Wrong?"} {"id": "t3_33qzr7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by insulting my future gf", "post": "So I had just gotten breakfast/lunch with a girl I had been seeing for the better part of this past semester. She wanted me to walk her to class, and I begrudgingly obliged. As we started walking away from the dining hall, she took out her phone and asked Siri \"what's my name?\" to which I blurted out instantaneously \"Bitch!\"\n\nPreviously I had gotten in trouble over jokingly called her this, so needless to say I was in some serious shit. \n\nShe stopped walking, told me to get away from her, and texted me three minutes later basically saying she never wanted to see me again.", "summary": "tried to be nice and walk my future gf to class, ended up insulting and losing any chance at ever seeing her again."} {"id": "t3_4ckqzm", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "I [24/m] have a unusual body from being very overweight and then losing quite a bit of it. How/when should I tell the women I'm dating?", "post": "Heya Ladies of Reddit! (English is not my first language, so I hope everything will be understandable).\n\nAlrighty, I have been been very overweight and now lost quite a bit of that weight, but still not at an optimal \"lean\" weight, but my body does. In clothes I look normal or maybe chubby-ish. Without clothes I dont' look too good, stretch marks, some loose skin mixed with moobs and love handles. \n\nI get compliments for my face (not only from my mother, but from her too, love you mum) from women, and that's I think a lot of women actually expect me to have a \"normal\" body, since that would seem \"matching\". Well, as you know by now that's not the case. \n\nAnyways, what I want to ask is, would you want me to tell you this early on, if you were dating me? I sometimes feel like a fraud, if someone really likes me and we start to click. I think \"would she think this way if she would know about what's under my clothes? Should I tell her right now?\" Or maybe it's now even that big of a deal?\n\nI think the scenario I'm having in my head is that we start to really like each other and when she finally sees my body, she will be really upset about it since that is not what she signed up for. Now, I would like to think that she won't care, but I also have to be realistic here, both things could happen. \n\nI should also mention I'm only 24 and I have a feeling people my age are a little bit more superficial, but maybe I'm just talking silly and should get outta me head.", "summary": "My body is a bit damaged from being overweight, how/when should I tell the person I'm dating about this?"} {"id": "t3_3l668n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my [27F] fiancee, ex of mine [27 f] called off her wedding because she regrets breaking up", "post": "ill try to make this short, i love my fiancee, id die without her. ut this ex of mine, we go back. I was ready for a serious thing, she wasn't, so it ended.\n\nI found a beautiful girl. She found a sleaze ball. \n\nFast forward, ex's fiance is immature and ex leaves him and calls off her engagement. I was with my girl at a party that the ex went to. She hovered all night and seemed like she wanted to talk, but that didn't happen.\n\nSoon after i find out ex was talking to my family, crying, saying she regrets letting me go, she should be his daughter in law, wishing she could rewind the clock and saying she still loved me. \n\nI call the ex and we chat, talk about how the timing was bad for both of us and maybe if thing were different we'd be together. Telling her i knew what she said but i was happy with my fiancee and how im happy with her. \n\nthing is, ex was the first love, since i was 16 i had loved her. Advice? I love my girl, but that \"what if\" is giving me doubts", "summary": "ex gf broke off her wedding, misses me, told my family, part of me is happy, part is mad, part wishes to forget."} {"id": "t3_ym9mx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[18M] Asked a girl I knew for a few months to hangout, got denied, not sure what to do next.", "post": "Yep, despite me being a SAP, I attempted it. I am not really seeking a relationship with this girl anymore, though I was (I guess I still kind of am) mildly interested. However, I'm completely content with just being friends.\nWe used to hangout during breaks at school during those few months I've known her.\n\nShe said \"sorry I have ____ to do today\", which means \"no\". I said \"maybe another day\" and she responded in the affirmative, but didn't offer another day (something that, according to the Internet, means that she is not interested at all). However, she seemed willing to carry on a conversation after that, albeit it was a bit awkward.\n\nI have two issues here. The first one: what do I do now? I feel like I should ask again later (maybe like a week later), but at the same time I don't want to be too persistent. Or should I just leave her alone for good? We don't go to the same school anymore, so that would be pretty depressing.\n\nTwo: The general rule of me talking to a girl: the more attractive she is, the stupider I sound. I once was able to shut off my feelings for a girl and successfully flirt with them and maintain a conversation, but I seemed to have lost that ability. When I asked this girl to hangout, it was poorly done and I couldn't think of anything to say. How do I regain this ability?", "summary": "girl I knew for a few months denied my suggestion to go hangout, wondering what to do next, and also how to not sound like an idiot while talking to girls."} {"id": "t3_2fiygq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with multiple best friends, I'm joining the military and I'm scared to tell them", "post": "I've wanted to join the military since I was a little girl but a lot of things held me back. I have several best friends in different friend groups that are ignorant of the military or have their own qualms about it but I've notice from vague chats that they probably couldn't comprehend me joining. \n\nI never spoke about my dream because I wanted to be absolute sure on joining and that I would ship out. My waiver recently got approved, I swore in the other day, and I'm scheduled to leave in January. \n\nAll these people despite this one hang up, are seriously amazingly awesome people that are my best friends. \n\nI recently moved extremely far away from all of them so communication would be generally over text, facebook, skype and I just have no idea how to articulate what I want to say. A lot of them have been looking forward to me moving back and in away I will be able to but I feel like they wouldn't understand it. I'm worried my best friends will feel I don't know, offended over my decision.", "summary": "I'm joining the military, several of my best friend would probably be upset over me joining and I have no idea how I should approach telling them all."} {"id": "t3_3p3ev5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my ex[16 F] broke up because she cant love?", "post": "Yesterday my (ex-)girlfriend broke up with me. \nShe said she is not able to love and she is \"unable to bond\".. \nI cant belive that..is there really something like \"not able to love\"? \nI even asked her if she loved me at all times and she answered \"I dont know,it felt weird\" but on the other hand she had things like our date where we came together on her wall(On a paper written in roman numbers) and she wanted to see or skype with me all the time..We even met 1 day before she broke up and everything felt right there.. \n \nWe were together for 2 month,i know its not that long..but i love extremely and its really hard to realize for me that she\u00b4s gone. \nI tried to talk to her but she just said \"just let it be\".. \n \nShould i keep trying to talk her?Should i just wait?Maybe she will talk to me after some time?Can it be that she has a new one?", "summary": "Girlfriend broke up and told me \"its her fault,i cant love,im not able to bond\" "} {"id": "t3_3icixr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my girlfriend [19F] of 3 month. I asked her about her past hook ups/relationships. Don't know how to feel.", "post": "Im currently long distancing with my girlfriend for only around 3 months. I asked her about her past hooks up/relationships cause I wouldn't want to hear it from someone else. What she told me was quite distressing. When she was with her last boyfriend, whenever they would fight they would break up and eventually get back together in a few weeks or months. \n\nBut during that temporary break up she would hook up with people that she knows, friends friend, brothers boss, etc. Her reasoning was that her \"ex\" or I guess temporary ex was trying to hook up with girls too. She told me she didn't even like any of the guys she hooked up with. She said she felt she was \"getting even\" or it was to make her self feel better.\n\nIt doesn't seem like a big deal but now I feel like every time we fight or if something happens between us she would just hook up with a random guy. She keeps telling me how she really loves me and would never do that to me. She also said that she promised herself that after she officially broke up with her ex boyfriend that her next relationship will be different and that she wont hook up with guys. \n\nEvery time I think about it my gut wrenches and it feels like my organs just dropped. Was it wrong for me to ask her this? I feel like id rather know the truth than living a lie. I almost feel disgusted thinking she hooked up with her brothers boss, or some 25 year old college student. \n\nI really care for this relationship and I keep trying to think about something else but it seriously bothers me. I usually never get bothered by a lot of things for some reason this seriously gets to me.", "summary": "Girlfriend used to hook up with random guys when she fought/temp brake up with her past boyfriend. Worried, feeling disgusted, and don't know what to feel/do."} {"id": "t3_1w90wz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with [18 F] duration, hung out for a week, had sex, left for the semester and havent talked. Now were both back", "post": "So at the end of last semester me and this girl started hanging out.\n\nI met her at a party, she invited me back to her dorm but we didnt do anything, partly because she was too drunk. I get her number the next day and we hang a few times during the week.\n\nFast forward a week, its the last saturday before we both go home for a month, we go to a party together, she invites me back to her place again and we have sex.\n\nI text her that monday, knowing she leaves on tuesday, trying to get food or something so I could see her again. She ends up telling me that theres a guy at home she has feelings for and the only slept with me because she thought I was cute and knew I wanted to.\n\nFast forward to today, Ive been thinking about it but not really hung up about it. I saw her in the cafeteria today and I cant stop thinking about her, I cant help but feel like things wouldve gone differently if the semester hadnt ended.\n\nMy question is whether or not I should talk to her again, and even if its a bad idea how I should go about it.", "summary": "Knew a girl for a week, had sex the last saturday of the fall semester, she goes back to guy back home, now were back at school, what should I do?"} {"id": "t3_v8kcx", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Need help with my ex", "post": "So my ex-girlfriend [17] and I [19] have been dating on in off since our Middle school years. Over the course of the past couple years we have dated about 3 times. the first two time we broke up we have already talked about and I have admitted it was my fault because I was simply too in experienced in dating to be able to hold up a good relationship; however, the last time we broke up which was the end of last November it was because she became very controlling and clingy and me still being in highschool (a senior at the time) was trying to figure out college and had a lot on my plate so I couldn't handle her as a high maintenance girlfriend right then so I suggested a break until everything had calmed down and she blew it out of proportions. I had every intent of getting back together with her in a couple weeks after I had finished all of my applications and semester exams but she wouldn't have any part of it.\n\nWell now she is visiting from out of town and she has been texting me telling me how she's missed me and missed seeing me even though she has a boy friend right now and she wants to get together and talk everything out in hopes of getting back together.\n\nI love this girl I know I do and while dating she was the most important person in my life but now I'm not sure what to do. My head is telling me she hasn't really changed and she will be the same controlling person I was with before yet I feel like we could work this out, and my heart is yelling at me to take her back. Idk what to do about it please give me some advice guys.", "summary": "my ex girlfriend wants to get back together after a couple months and I have no idea if I should go back to her in fear of it being a repeat of last time"} {"id": "t3_13nj33", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How has your family managed to screw up Thanksgiving? I'll start.", "post": "My wife's aunt has hosted Thanksgiving for all the local family for the past few years. She refuses to go to anyone else's house. She lives in the middle of nowhere, so everyone has to drive an hour and a half each direction, across gravel roads that are usually a foot deep in unplowed snow, and all 30+ members of the family have to cram into her 1 bedroom double wide. Every year, someone gets drunk and makes an ass of themselves.\n\nThis year, Aunt B decided it was a potluck. Bring what you want to eat. Which is okay, but she added a little caveat: You do not get to take home any left overs. She gets to keep all of them. And she isn't going to be making anything. Someone else needs to bring the turkey.\n\nSo we spent the day with my family, and had a good ol' time watching football and passing the baby around. Meanwhile, one of my in-laws got fall down drunk, called Aunt B a very nasty word indeed, and broke my sister-in-laws jaw. No one brought anything other than side dishes.", "summary": "Aunt-in-law demands people bring food to her house for T-day, refuses to contribute, demands she keeps everything, people get drunk and fight. My wife and I spend the day with my family, and have fun."} {"id": "t3_265hqi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[15 M] want to get closer to [15 F] crush", "post": "There is a girl at my school that at my school that I have had a crush on for the whole year basically. We've gone to the same school for our whole lives, but she will soon be moving across town to another high school.\n\nA little background, we've talked a little inthe past. We are not quite friends, but aquaintances. We only have one class this year, and I asked her to homecoming. She declined because she said she wasn't going at all, which she didn't.\n\nI had a thing with a different girl for awhile. We had our thing since March 1st and we started dating May 2nd. She dumped me last Thursday however and we have not spoken since, and I have lost any feelings for her. And rediscovered my feelings for the other girl.\n\nI want to get close to her this summer. Like actually get to know her and be her friend. I am hoping that eventually that friendship would lead to dating but it isn't my number one priority. How could I do this, school ends for me in a week so I need to act fast.", "summary": "Girl I've known but not really friends with moving, want to get close to her over summer. Don't really know how"} {"id": "t3_2tpf3s", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Why do people think that the FBI, CIA, and so on, will spy on them in particular?", "post": "Like, I keep reading people throwing their arms up at the sight of these things.\n\nDo they not realize that the governments probably won't target individuals much? I mean, if you think of it this way, there is just over 320,000,000 in USA. There are 13,260 sworn members of the FBI. That's 1 person per about 24,000 people, if every member had the job of spying (which I doubt). \n\nPoint is, wouldn't things like this benefit us because these guys would be targeting people on their watch lists? Not only that, but maybe you can use these laws against those shitty ISP companies that everyone hates?", "summary": "Why the fuck would the FBI care for your ass when they have bigger fish to fry? Shit's been bugging me since SOPA."} {"id": "t3_4qje39", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "F[22] 2 year on in relationship and very close to SO but sex is very lacking what do I do?", "post": "My SO and I had a very active sex-life off the start of the relationship, which has slowly evolved into a compassionate relationship. You could say we act more like a married couple than a lustful fling. \n\nHowever, the more close and lovey we become the less sex has been a part of the picture. Weeks without any sex, but cuddling daily (sometimes hourly). Recently we had our first 'good' session in forever, and I actually laid there after he left to go play games and just stared into space. Nothing, I felt basically nothing and felt like we might as well have not even attempted anything cause at least then there'd be no disappointment.\n\nWhat am I supposed to do in this situation? I love my SO very much, obviously we are close in every other way. But I am not even slightly satisfied sexually (even when we have sex).", "summary": "I love my SO in every way but what do I do if sex is nonexistent and/or does nothing for me?"} {"id": "t3_15j6x0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I handle my boyfriend's ex lashing out at me?", "post": "I've been trying to get a job at a store in town. They have a very low turnover rate, but I found out that my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, who works there, is quitting soon. I reapplied, but today my boyfriend told me that while they were catching up at the bar, she told him that she screwed me over, and I won't be getting any interviews. \n\nNot only would I still like the chance to work at the store, I would also like to tell her how nonsensical her outrage at me is. I didn't steal him or cheat on her or anything like that, she is just being childish. \n\nCan Reddit give me any advice for how to handle this? I'm planning on speaking to the managers at the store, and my boyfriend is trying to talk sense into her.", "summary": "Boyfriend's cunty ex fucked me over for a job at the store she is quitting at. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_4jqb2d", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Girl [21/F] that I [21/M] was dating is now coming back from abroad, need advice on things going forward.", "post": "Throwaway account here, just in case.\n\nSo I'm going to be entering my senior year of college this upcoming fall semester. I was dating a girl (we'll call her Julia) for a few months near the end of 2015 and I'd say we really enjoyed being with one another. She then went abroad for the spring semester and said that she thought it would be best if we were both single while she was gone. I had difficulty with it at first, but adjusted and had some casual relationships with different girls over the rest of the school year.\n\nI recently met a different girl [20/F] who I've hit it off with very well (we'll call her Mikaila) and we've talked every single day since we exchanged numbers a few weeks ago. I would love to see where this could go, but the semester has already ended at this point, so I haven't gone forward with it.\n\nIt turns out that \"Julia\" and I are now going to be interning in the same city this summer and I'm not sure I want to restart that relationship as I'm very interested in \"Mikaila\". What would be the best way to express this, just be straight up with \"Julia\" and say that I'm not looking for a relationship and would like to remain single? \"Julia\" isn't the type that would just be okay with a casual relationship and would want something more meaningful. I just feel like saying this makes me look like a scumbag and I don't want to compromise my friendship with her.", "summary": "Girl I was dating coming back from abroad, I'm interested in somebody else as well, unsure of how to proceed."} {"id": "t3_120g1i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[31m] Should I tell my wife someone tried to sleep with me?", "post": "I have been married to a wonderful woman for 8 years. I have never cheated on her, but something happened and I'm struggling with.\n\nAn ex of mine started innocently (or so I thought) messaging me on facebook. What started out as just howya-doin' turned into I want you to have sex with me. \n\nI would be lying if I said I wasn't tempted. The girl is attractive, and from what I can remember she was a wild one in the sack. \n\nLong story short, I ended up blowing her off, and telling her that I'm a happily married man.\n\nMy wife and I don't keep secrets, but this seems like unnecessary drama, when I ended up doing the right thing. Is it ok for me to sit on this? Would it be wrong? \n\nI feel bad for not telling her, but I also didn't do anything wrong.", "summary": "ex girl tried to get me in the sack. I told her no. Should I tell my wife it happened? "} {"id": "t3_22tp01", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17F] with my ex boyfriend [18M] of 1.5 years, broke up and feel empty inside", "post": "My boyfriend and I broke up about two week ago. We dated for almost a year and a half, shy by about a month. Now, I'm missing him so much. Today I've been feeling pretty sad. To quote Hawaii 5o, \"I went from being the busiest woman in the world to having nothing but time on my hands.\" And, well, that sucks. I'm cycling through friends, trying not to bug them all because I feel so guilty about texting them all the time and always missing my boyfriend. \n\nI loved him a lot but we fought a lot and it wasn't healthy. But I still miss him. We use to text constantly. Now I just want a hug. But I know I can't ask him for one. I don't know who to turn to. I keep relying on people and friends, and I know I need to rely on myself, but how?", "summary": "How do I move on after being incredibly attached, especially emotionally, and how do I rely on myself instead of bottling up feelings and whatnot?"} {"id": "t3_3cbjfg", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "IN/USA- Parent hiding money during divorce in my bank account.", "post": "*", "summary": "Legal adult here. Parent hiding divorce money in my bank account two different times, once with myself as a minor, once as an adult. Want to get out of this situation. Not sure where to start exactly."} {"id": "t3_546kpy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24/F] with my bf [20 M] of 1 year, still holds to his dealbreaker and it bugs me a lot", "post": "We have been together for almost a year now, and as soon as things started to get serious he asked me if I had a navel piercing. I don't. He made clear that he absolutely hates navel piercings and wondered if I was planning on getting one. I told him I didn't have any interest in getting it pierced. \n\nToday, when the subject came across he told me that he had to break up with me if I got my navel pierced. I don't have any plans on getting my belly button pierced and I don't want to either. But the fact that such a simple thing can be a deal breaker even though we've been together for almost a year bugged me quite a lot. I asked him if he'd break up with me if I got stretch marks, and he told me that he didn't care about that, they're not things I can voluntarily get so for him it's all about a navel piercing. \n\nI got really mad at him for still hating belly piercings so much even though we're in a relationship so I think it's bad to have dealbreakers like that. Am I being silly?", "summary": "Boyfriend has always hated belly piercings and still thinks it's a dealbreaker if I'd get my belly pierced (I don't want to but in theory). Is he being really weird for still having a shallow dealbreaker?"} {"id": "t3_4hrczo", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by making lemonade", "post": "This happened a little less than a year ago during a summer heat-wave.\n\nIt was starting to get late into the evening, about 11PM or so. It was hotter than shit and I needed to be up early for work. I couldn't get to sleep because of the heat, so I decided making a cold beverage to cool off would be a great idea.\n\nAt that time I lived in a household with 5 other roommates, who were all man-children. Thus, dishes were in short supply year-round due to hording and I was in the habit of re-using bottles.\n\nNew roomy was in the kitchen making dinner when I got in there, his first night in the house. I put my Tazo Tea bottle I am re-using on the counter and pour in some lemon juice, sugar, water. And of course, I'm going to need some ice.\n\nPull ice out of the freezer, the first 3 cubes go in fairly easily. The 4th cube is significantly larger than the previous 3. Braindead and straight up zombified from the heat, I decide to force it in. Into the glass bottle. With my hand.\n\nI push down hard, then the fucking thing shatters and I am now power-shoving glass into the counter. This is when I realized I fucked up. I start screaming, blood is going everywhere, my new roommate is freaking the fuck out. Hand suddenly goes from covered-in-fire-ants to completely numb. Fortunately, new roomy at least had the sense to grab me a wad of paper towels to stop the bleeding.\n\nNearly shoved it through my hand. Everything still works, mostly, but I've got some weirdass nerve damage. The fact that I type for a living makes this interesting.", "summary": "I tried to force icecubes into a bottle while making lemonade; it broke, and almost shoved the bottle through my hand."} {"id": "t3_15jeyf", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Unsure of how to proceed or what to expect and it's making me crazy. A little outside perspective would be much appreciated.", "post": "So I [21/m] have went on 3 dates with a girl [25/f]. They have all went well and I have a massive crush on this girl. The last date (12/23) we spent cuddling on my couch and making out, and I told her I was looking for something serious and asked about her ex (they had still been talking when we first met) she said they were still friendly but she knew that would have to end if she started seeing someone. The night ended well and we agreed to hang out again. We texted a couple times while away for Christmas and things seemed okay. I asked we yesterday when we could see eachother again and she said tonight would be good, awesome right? I texted her this afternoon to ask her of she was okay with going to a new museum exhibit with me and she responded with \"my friend from out of town is visiting and we haven't seen each other in years so I don't think I can hang out\" I know the excuse is legit Ecauae she mentioned this a few days ago, but why would she agree to hang out tonight?? I told her its cool and to let me know when she is free again. So what do I do? Wait for her to text? Text her in a few days if I don't hear from her? I really like this girl and don't want her to slip away, but I also don't want to be \"that guy\" messaging her all the time and continually being shot down. the whole situation has me pretty bummed out.", "summary": "me and new girl have been hitting it off. She flaked on plans today. Am I reading too much into this? How do I proceed?"} {"id": "t3_2sf3lq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] and my s/o [20M] of nine months, got into our first fight. How do i deal with this?", "post": "Backstory about myself before I begin: This is my first real relationship. I've never really dated because I had never really seen the point. I am now dating my best friend. We never really fight but instead just talk through our problems any time we have them. We both have anxiety issues but I still have not been able to conquer mine...\n\nLong story short, my boyfriend and I got into our first real fight over something I've done(about 2 months ago). I can confidently say that I royally fucked up. I lost his trust. He almost broke up with me a few days before Christmas but we decided to try to fix the problem instead. \n\nThe best way to explain what I've done without saying too much is saying that he told me something very personal and it scared me. I went to a friend(who I thought I could trust) for advice on the problem because I was genuinely scared and didn't know what to do. (It was one of those situations where I felt that I couldn't go to him to tell him how I felt nor could I figure out how I felt at the moment) Before I could tell him that I had told her, she got mad at me over something stupid and told him that I told her.\n\nBasically what I'm asking is, how do I go about gaining his trust again and proving that I love him and that I want to be with him?", "summary": "I screwed up and lost my s/o's trust. What can I do to make things better while he's giving me a second chance?"} {"id": "t3_46aw21", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "She [23 F] asked me if I wanted a ride [26 M], am I overthinking it?", "post": "There's this girl at my church who I really like, I don't think I've ever really been too forward about it all that much, but knowing me, maybe she knows already, or has kind of guessed it.\n\nAnyways, I go to Bible Study with my dad every week. Sometimes I pick him up from his house, sometimes he picks me up from mine, makes it easier on gas that way. Last week once it ended, I went out to my car and waited for my dad to finish up putting the microphones away. I was just sitting on the hood/front bumper looking at the stars when she leaves as well. Out of the blue she just asked me if I needed a ride home, and I said I'm okay, but thanks for asking. It would've been out of her way to give me a ride too.\n\nWhen I got home I was wondering about the situation, and I don't know if I'm overthinking this, but I was baffled by why she asked me. I was there for one thing, so I obviously had a means to get there and if I didn't have a way to get home it wouldn't make sense for me to go in the first place, not to mention I was sitting on the hood. \n\nI want to ask her out on a date, but could I maybe take this as a sign that she's interested in me, or at least trusts me? I know myself personally I wouldn't offer a ride to someone (especially one where I'd be going out of my way to do so) I don't trust or feel comfortable with. If any women are reading this, would you offer a ride to a guy who is mostly an acquaintance to you?", "summary": "Girl from church that I like offered me a ride home, which she would have gone out of her way if I accepted. Am I overthinking it in that this might be an indication she's interested in me?"} {"id": "t3_35twww", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[28/F] just broke up with my bf[35/M] of only 6 months. I just found out that I was pregnant. I have no intention of keeping it and need to act fast. Does he have a right to know? Throwaway account btw.", "post": "Ok, so a bit of a (short) back story. Just to give you an idea of the circumstances. We have been official about 6 months. We have gotten very serious in this time but have both decided that kids were definitely something that neither of us wanted. Lately things have just been so rocky that he decided to call it quits on me. Up until now, I have always been the one to mend the situation whether I was right or wrong. But this time I decided I had enough and wasn't going out of my way to make things right this time. And nor do I care to. I don't want to use this pregnancy as an excuse to contact him or make him think that's what I am doing. Am I wrong for getting an abortion behind his back? Does he have the right to know? Or put in his two cents? Remember that this is the guy who walked out on me and has never taken my feelings into consideration. I'm getting the abortion regardless. I am just torn as whether or not to tell him. Any guys input on how they might feel if this was them? Girl input who have done this to a guy before? Any two cents is appreciated. Thanks guys!", "summary": "I found out I was pregnant after a break up and haven't spoken to him since. I want to abort the fetus but am not sure if I am obligated to reach out to him."} {"id": "t3_1irgdm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My ex [M/23] of three weeks has blocked me [F/23], a week later unblocked me and then a week later again blocked me. We went out for 5 months. Why is he doing this?", "post": "We've been broken up *officially* for about three weeks, he dumped me because of long distance. Said he still loved me, maybe its true, I don't know. First time he blocked me I told him to do it because I couldn't stop myself from talking to him. A week later, he unblocks me. A week later, he blocks me again. \n\nI don't know why, I haven't been tried to contact him since the first time he blocked me. And we're not friends, so its not like I show up on his feed or can see that much on his profile. \n\nI mean if he just wanted to see my page and then block me right away, why did he wait a week? Why block me again? I wasn't bugging him\n\nDon't tell me I shouldn't care because he's my ex, because I do care, because I still love him and want to know why he's doing this. \n\nAnd yes, I'll own up to that I creep his page, what little I can see of it. But I miss him.", "summary": "My ex keeps blocking and unblocking me even though we are not friends on facebook and I haven't tried contacting him, even though I love him."} {"id": "t3_2awqtl", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Should I let go? [19/m][18/f]", "post": "This Girl was going out with my former Best Friend. We didn't fall out he join the Navy and we grew apart. His Girlfriend was really nice, she started not liking this man and came to me with her problems... over time I fell for her but couldn't tell her because she was going out with my Bestfriend. When she broke up with him she waits a week and starts going out with another one of my friends. It doesn't go well 3 weeks later she get dumped. She then goes of and Fucks a randomer and the second Boyfriends brother. A couple of months down the line I have a new (not new just another) Best Friend but still consider her a Best Friend as well. Then she goes out with my new Best Friend. All this time I have had feelings for this Girl and have never said anything due to her always moving on to someone else before I have the chance to tell her my feeling. I understand that she probably doesn't feel the same way as I do to her. I just don't know what to do this is the second best friend that she has gone out with and I feel due to my feeling I start to lose my Best Friend due to her taking up all their time. I know I should have forgotten off her existence along time ago but she hangs out in my friend group and she still considers me one of her best friends as much as I consider her one of my Best Friend. \n\nHow to you not have these feelings or am I going to have to deal with it until time sorts it out?", "summary": "I Love A girl, she considers me a Good Friend but probably doesn't love me. How do I stop Loving her?"} {"id": "t3_3efupo", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[NC] My step-father is cosigning a loan for my sister's house for a wedding gift without my mother's consent.", "post": "Just a few minutes ago, my mother had a conversation with me about some financial issues with my step-sister's (I'll just refer to her as my sister from here on out) upcoming wedding. Here's some background knowledge: my sister, let's call her Susan, works on a farm; her fiance, Nick, is in a small time band. To put it bluntly, they are a pretty poor couple, and they have difficulty keeping up with basic necessities. To make matters worse, financially, they have a baby on the way.\n\nMy step-father agreed to cosign a loan for $250,000 to purchase a house. This is not a downpayment, this is for the entire mortgage. From what I understand, my parents will be stuck with the entire mortgage if my sister cannot pay for it (and she won't be able to pay for it).\n\nThis was all without my mother's knowledge, and she is losing her mind. She doesn't want to go to the wedding now and she's getting a marriage counselor. She is trying to come up with some other way to work this out, any way she doesn't have to cosign a loan.\n\nMy step-father will not back down since Susan claims to have found their \"dream house\" and it is \"perfect for their new family\". The thing is that they can't get a loan to purchase a house because their credit is absolutely horrendous due to their lackluster history as debtors.\n\nI really don't know how to resolve this. My mom and I had a really long conversation about what to do, since if my sister misses the payments we'll be screwed. I'm in school right now, and those payments are enough for my family to pay for.\n\nUltimately, I just want to be able to support my mom right now since I think my step-father is clearly in the wrong here. What's the best way to go about supporting her in this situation without alienating the whole family?\n\nMy mother is just asking about what legal precautions to take right now to protect her assets. She isn't sure if she needs a lawyer, or anything really. She doesn't necessarily want a divorce yet, either.", "summary": "Step-father about to cosign a massive loan for my sister's wedding without my mom's permission, and now my mom is losing her mind and threatening not to go to the wedding."} {"id": "t3_23lu1g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 M] with my GF [22 F] of 7 months, she moved for me but isn't pulling the weight she agreed to...", "post": "My girlfriend, who I really love and care about, moved from LA to London to be with me. In doing this she went from full-time to freelance (she is a nutrition consultant and her work is now internet based). She spent the little savings she had flying back and forth to visit me, and then on her move. Since she got here 3 months ago, she hasn't been pulling her weight financially. We discussed that she would pay for half the rent/water/grocery/etc., but it's been more like 1/3.\n\nI am willing to support her for a little while since I understand that moving took its financial toll on her, but I also am starting to worry about her. She is hardly working anymore, maybe 10 hours week vs her usual 30 back in LA. She also hasn't made any friends here and relies on me to go everywhere with her, as if she is scared of this new city.\n\nI don't understand what happened to the LA girl she once was... she was so independent and happy but since moving here she just seems depressed and unmotivated. She complains of homesickness often, and it's really exhausting for our relationship. She talks about moving back to LA but frankly, that would be the end of our relationship because I do not want to live there. What do I do?", "summary": "GF MOVED ABROAD FOR ME, IS NOW DEPRESSED AND UNMOTIVATED... WHAT TO DO?"} {"id": "t3_4enxh2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17F] wants to do something nice for my friend [17M] who I am no longer going to the prom with, what can I do.", "post": "So Look I posted here earlier asking how do I tell my friend I am no longer going to the prom with him because I have another date. \n\nI feel fucking awful because he is hell bent on working. I said I was sorry to him at school he said it is fine he is working. But I just feel bad that he has chosen to work rather than the prom and just hang out. \n\nWhat can I do to make it up to him?\n\nBecause I was told all day how mean what I did was, and I want it to stop", "summary": "what can I do to make it up to a friend I am no longer going to a prom with, because I found another date?"} {"id": "t3_133x14", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I think I'm dating a female player and I'm not totally sure how to play it, can someone explain? details in text.", "post": "Whenever she and I have a fight, I just recently found out she always has a different guy she texts/fb chats about and she mentions reminiscing old times with said guy. She is VERY flirty especially when she drinks.\nI found out she was flirting with one of her ex hookups over fb chat yesterday and flipped out saying its bullshit and she shouldn't talk to other guys if she wants to date me. She started crying and has been begging me to take her back... I don't know what to do. I don't necessarily think she'd physically cheat on me, but it seems like she has 101 backup guys that she's always talking to.\n\nAnyways we're in some sort of limbo relationship state right now, I'm not sure if I want to keep dating her bc deep down she seems like a player, but that being said, she cares about me a lot considering she started crying when I told her I've had enough.\n\nI don't know what to do Reddit, help me? (also we've been together for 9 months, but the past month shes been distant and started talking to other guys).", "summary": "dating a female player is pissing me off, I broke things off but she says she'll change. Idk what to do."} {"id": "t3_3zx9j2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my friend[16 F], I found out her mother died last night (cancer). Advice on what to say and help her out.", "post": "Hello Reddit. As the title says, my friend's mother died over night last night. Yesterday, I was texting her and she said she was rather stressed out. She said it was because her mother only have 5 months to live (I knew her mother had cancer and was attempting treatment). I said I was extremely sorry, but the topic didnt stay on that much longer and eventually changed. But, this morning I woke up with a text from her saying that her mom was dead from over night. This was obviously unexpected.\n\nHer father is not in the picture, and hasnt been since she was a child. He was not a good man so he was not involved in her life. I'v never been in this situation before, so I would like some advice from maybe some adults who have some experience with this. She is likely to have an uncle to be a caretaker.\n\nI wont be around that much longer. I am going away over the summer to do research at a nearby college, and then I start actual college after that (I am a senior this year). I am not \"extremely\" close to her, but what can I do to help? even if its just a little. I like baking and stuff, would it be okay to make her some food in these first few early weeks? What should I say, should I just listen to what she has to say?\n\nI heard from one of her best friends that she wasn't doing very well (obviously it has only been one day) and I haven't been in contact with her today very much.", "summary": "Friend's mother died today. Advice on how to make her feel better, and see if I can help her out, even just a little bit?"} {"id": "t3_2o8er8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 M] with my wife [30 F] of 4 years, we worked thing out after her infidelities, but not sure that I love her anymore...", "post": "A little over a year ago I discovered that my wife had been having a months long affair.\n\nDuring the time that she was sleeping with another man, her and I rarely had sex ourselves. She explained to me that this was due to a loss of libido and eventually started to see a sex-therapist over it.\n\nIt turns out she was seeing the therapist in order to figure out what she wanted...me or the guy on the side/divorce. I eventually discovered the affair (Had my suspicions and snooped on her phone).\n\nNot much of an argument occurred, but she was obviously sorry and upset. I was hurt and pissed. At the time she was a stay-at-home mom to our infant son. I told her to leave and go to her parents while I sorted things out. After several days I was even more miserable...I missed our son... and even her little bit. We went to counseling and \"worked things out.\"\n\nToday, many, many month later, what I thought was a marriage on the mend has turned stale. We rarely have sex (Despite my consistent come-ons and attempts to make her life around the house easier.)...just like when she was cheating...as a result I am constantly suspicious. She claims she is not cheating, and really has given me no reason to suspect her, despite the lack of sex. However, our marriage has started to feel more like roommates. I love her a lot, but more in a \"caring way\" and not the \"I can't imagine my life with out you!\" way. And as a result, I often fantasize about a life without her. \n\nI guess I'm just curious if there are others out there in a similar spot. I don't know if it's the rarity of sex, or the fact that I can forgive her cheating but not forget, or what, but I m feeling anxious and don't know what to do next. Do I tough it out for my amazing son, who I see so much less if we separated, and hope/work to make things better?", "summary": "Wife had a months long affair. I forgave her, but can't forget. Just don't know what to do and feel lost."} {"id": "t3_35wfjc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [15 M] need help with convincing my father to let me move in with my Mother", "post": "I'm attempting to move in with my Mom, who lives in Maryland, from my dad's place in Florida. They've been divorced for 8 years, and are really opposed to each other.\n\nI want to move to my mom's, since she happens to live in Annapolis, which is where my dream college, The Naval Academy, is. I currently live in a backwater town in central Florida, with no opportunities whatsoever, except for the International Baccalaureate Program at my high school (which I'm not in anyways, since none of the Service Academies look at anyways). Annapolis is a much better place, with more just *things* in general; in addition to a better education (I may go to a Military Boarding School) and social setting. Also, my mom is a better person in general, being open about her mistakes and leveling with me, while my dad is a shady car dealership manager that constantly smokes dope and is an avid bullshitter about his mistakes and what he's done.\n\nSo now that you have the backstory, it seems obvious that my mom's is a better place; so now onto the limiting factor. My Father. We've talked about the issue, and his entire reasoning is that *here* is a better place, with nothing to back it up. He doesn't even have custody of me, I was just forced to live here because my mom moved due to her losing her house. He has the illusion that I love it here, and that he has full custody of me. \n\nMy main dilemma is this: I want to live with my mom for sure, but my father won't willingly let me go. My mom is willing to take it to court, but all the files and papers she needs are down here in Florida. The case itself might not take long, being that I'm of age to decide with whom I live with (and that there have been custody battle before, all of which my father has lost) but the arrangement of it will.\n\nAny help on how to resolve this issue in the next couple of months? I want to be living with my mom before the next school year.", "summary": "My dad's being a douche about me moving to my mom's, and I want to get this settled before too long"} {"id": "t3_1u8f5d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26 M] got a happy birthday text from my ex [25 F] after 2 months of no contact. How should I proceed?", "post": "I posted a little about this on OffMyChest but I feel like I need more advice than to just let it out.\n\nSo yesterday was my birthday and my ex texted me a happy birthday. After 2 months of no texting and me doing my best to avoid looking at her facebook or anything I texted her back saying thanks. We texted a little bit, not much after and I hate to say it but after doing it I felt like shit. I don't know if it was because she told me how she doesn't remember where she parked her car or what but the rest of the day I felt off. My mind raced with ideas, did she go home drunk with some guy? Did they have sex? Or was she with a new boyfriend? Or did she go out with friends? Why am I thinking about this? I've been having trouble not thinking about her and this didn't help.\n\nI'm doing my best to move on from her. I'm going to the gym and trying to do new things, although this -10 degree weather in Wisconsin isn't helping me get out. I'm afraid that she will take my responses as she can start texting me again. I don't want to talk to her. I'm not ready to. Every time I do I feel worse. Should I tell her this? Should I just ignore her texts? Last time we texted I told her I didn't think it'd be a good idea to hang out and she got mad it seemed and didn't text me until now. I guess I want to be honest with her and tell her that texting her ruins my day but I don't want her mad at me again. Maybe I shouldn't care either way.\n\nHow should I proceed with this? I'm asking you guys because I feel like my friends are getting annoyed if I talk about her to them. Like I should be over this by now and they're tired of hearing about her.", "summary": "My ex texted me after 2 months of no contact to wish me a happy birthday. I'm afraid she will take that as an opening to keep texting me. How should I proceed?"} {"id": "t3_3c4sue", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by walking on a three day old blister. Potentially NSFL", "post": "I am currently touring Europe by train. About four days ago I got a rather anoying blister on the ball of my left foot. That evening I decided to pop it as it was slightly restricting my ability to walk. That seemed to sort things out and I was able to continue with my average 20 km (13 miles) a day of walking. Then this morning I woke up, put my foot on the floor and tried to stand up. I immediately fell back onto my bed as the blister was seriously painful. Immediately I assumed the worst, that it had become infected, so I walked down to the nearest Apoteke ( I'm in Berlin and the cobbled streets make that a lot harder than it sounds). Grabbed some antiseptic cream and cotton swabs and stumbled back to my room. I grabbed my first aid kit and removed the dead skin from the old blister. Then I realised that having not changed anything about my routine (shoes, sock style, distance walked) the blister had been worsened. Turns out I didn't have an infection, but two other blisters have now formed in the lower layers of my skin, underneath the original blister site.", "summary": "Walked a stupid amount on a blistered foot and two new ones formed in the remaining skin, under the original."} {"id": "t3_2iz12p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Does he [M23] have feelings for me [F22] even though he's focusing on his career?", "post": "I dated a friend a couple summers ago and nothing came of it because he moved abroad for work. His brother passed away shortly thereafter and he didn't end up keeping in touch very much.\n\nHe came into town a few weeks ago and immediately wanted to see me. He ended up blowing off all of his friends to spend time with me and we cuddled and talked for several hours. (He tried to kiss me and I didn't let him, but we hung-out for a few more hours after that.)\n\nHe apologized several times for not keeping in touch better and for abruptly leaving to start his career. He said that he had a lot of fun last summer and would keep in touch a lot better from now on. I asked him flat out if he would've dated me if he'd stayed local, and he said he definitely would've thought about it because we are compatible in so many ways.\n\nHe then proceeded to give me his life plan. He says he wants to spent the next couple years developing his career abroad, but that he eventually wants to come back to the states and start a family. He says he's only had one serious relationship that lasted five years and has only liked two-three girls his whole life. (I was dying to ask whether I was one of those girls, but I resisted the temptation.)\n\nAnyways, he's moving abroad again and is visiting so many exciting places. But he's kept up on his promise to keep in touch. We've skyped once and have plans to skype again next week. He also reiterated that I can text him whenever I want and that it'd be a great way to keep in touch. He answers my text messages fairly quickly whenever I do have something to say to him.\n\nOkay, so I get he's not about to be my boyfriend any time soon. I'm also going to keep dating other people who are more local. But does he have feelings for me? Or am I just a friend who's convenient to cuddle with? I really want to know what he's thinking.", "summary": "My friend is traveling a lot for work, but seems to show signs of interest in me. Does he have feelings for me, or am I just convenient?"} {"id": "t3_4yo97c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [28M] convince my girlfriend [28F] not to break up with me?", "post": "We have had a great relationship for 3 years, or so I thought. This week she broke down and told me she couldn't do this anymore, for me it was out of nowhere. At the time I didn't really push her to change her mind, but thinking more about it I don't want this to end as I care about her a lot. \nShe said there were a few problems but the primary one is that I am very emotionally distant. This can be true, I find it hard to express myself. But I thought she understood me and where I was coming from. She was very patient in the first year or two, but I assumed that this problem was improving because she didn't say anything for a few months now. She was always very upfront about her feelings which is why this was a shock to me. Do I give her the space and let it end? Do I try again, and if so how should I proceed? Am I missing something and maybe there were other problems? I am so used to her spelling things out, but with this surprising change I can't help but think she stopped opening up to me and maybe there are other problems she has with the relationship. If so then how do I fix it. I am so confused. I just know that I miss her and miss waking up next to her.", "summary": "Gf broke up with me seemingly out of nowhere, advice on how to win her back, or should I let her go?"} {"id": "t3_3hv3nj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "*Non-Romantic* Me(21f) with my parents 43M/46F, and SO(25M)", "post": "I've seen a therapist since I was 18 and came to college. Im known to have depression, major anxiety, and alcohol problems. Most recently my therapist has expressed she would like me to see a psychiatrist(my therapist being the liscences school counselor), for s mental health eval due to exhibiting signs of bipolar disorder. \n\nMy father has always seen mental illness as in your head, it's a crutch. You can come out of it if you try hard enough and just deal with life. My mother is a nurse and has told me on multiple occasions that I'm nuerotic(due to intense paranoid anxiety issues), and has conveyed to me in our most recent conversation that if I receive the evaluation I'm being talked Into having something I don't. \n\nMy SO has also expressed a dismissal of something wrong, starting that it is simply anxiety or depression and can be conquered by simply putting focus into pulling myself out of a funk. \n\nI don't know how to talk about things to them, or to address my therapist that I do not want to go through with the evaluation because of this. I feel. That what my family says holds more ground than my therapist's worries. Maybe it is just me being weak minded correct?", "summary": "Parents and SO have dismissed counsellors worry of bipolar disorder, stating I just need to deal and get over things. Are they right? Or is this something to get checked?"} {"id": "t3_4ltng7", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should I call my employer?", "post": "Okay so I applied for a Retail job a few weeks ago and I was offered the position. I had to wait a little more than a week for my background check to be approved. I got an email a few days ago saying that I am now officially part of the team and to call my manager to receive information about my schedule. I called them one day after receiving the email. And talked to the manager on duty and they told me to call back on Monday when the hiring manager is there, and to finish filling out the information that was on email that they sent to me. I finished filling out everything. And I called back today The manager told me that my information wasn't complete. And I told her that I filled it out since Friday. She then told me that she has to check and finish the rest of what is need to be done on my application. And that she'd call me in 40-45mins after her lunch break. But she never called me and I don't want to be annoying and keep calling them. Is it okay to call them? Will that bother them? And is there a chance that it will sabotage anything for me?", "summary": "Was offered a position and finally got to become part of their team after completing online work. Manager still hasn't given me my schedule and keeps forgetting to call me back. Is it okay to keep calling them?"} {"id": "t3_2hyhfg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my Ex? [18F] Dated 2 years, Broke up because of college, Wrong decision?", "post": "My GF and I were dating for 2 years in High School, sounds ridiculous but i thought i was going to marry this girl. We ended up choosing different schools with enough distance between them that regular visits wouldnt be possible. We talked a bunch about what our plans would be once school started, and decided that breaking it off mutually when we left would be the best idea.\n\nSo we left for college and broke up. Basically stopped talking cold turkey because of how busy we were. When we did talk it was weird because we both were living in this fallout of a life where we missed the intimacy and company of each other. So last night we talked about reconnecting, maybe trying the long distance thing. \n\nI dont know if breaking up was the wrong decision, or if trying to reconnect would be.\n\nIm truly lost for the first time in my life and just looking for some guidance.", "summary": "GF and I broke up because of college, we both still have stong feelings and miss each other. Maybe reconnecting for long distance."} {"id": "t3_g06u9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit... My car was going to get towed, the guy was bribing me for money. WTF..", "post": "So bros like I'm outside smoken a cig at my buddies place. Tow truck pulls up, parks right behind my fucking car. Meanwhile in my head I'm all like \"HAH!, wonder who this assholes gonna get..\" turns out it was me. I sprint up to him we have a verbal argument, and during this time my buddy says to the towing guy \"Dude, why are you being such an asshole? You don't even have the car connected to anything yet, he can just drive away.\" Now keep in mind I was fully aware this towing guy was intoxicated. He says gimme 50 bucks and we'll call it even. At this point of realization I was sickened by his lack of humanity, stealing money off college kids... plain and simple. I said fuck that got in my car and drove away. Although my other buddy \"not quite as ballzy as I\" ended up paying a 75 dollar bribe and got to park there the rest of the night, and my buddies sister got a free pass to park there because she's cute so they didn't bribe her \"what gentlemen\". So here's the kicker, my buddy tells me when I left they wrote down my license plate# and they're charging me with something to lengths of fleeing the scene. Now I have a substantial amount of evidence to prove this guy was out of line, so you guys think I'd have a chance in fighting this if anything turns up? Thanks for your time.", "summary": "I dipped out on a tow truck driver and he's saying he is going to charge me with fleeing the scene... WTF? ... oh and he bribed me and my friend... I didn't pay it."} {"id": "t3_18blxz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, have you ever won a sweepstakes, contest, or raffle? If so, what did you win?", "post": "I would like to hear your success stories. Here is mine. \n\nWhen I was in college attending a hockey game, I walked by the 50/50 raffle booth. I had always thought of entering, but as a poor college student a dollar was worth more at McDonalds than the odds were of winning. \n\nHowever, this time as I walked by I thought, what the hell, and dropped in two dollars. This was around Christmas time, so I was pretty poor. \n\nDuring the hockey game they announced the winner, and I ended up being the lucky draw.\n\nI won somewhere around 160$.\n\nIt was enough to buy a few Christmast presents that I wasn't able to afford prior to winning.", "summary": "Entered my last two dollars into a 50/50 raffle, won approx. 160$, and was able to buy some Christmast presents."} {"id": "t3_3qyu79", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[24M] Hanging out with girl [25F] \u2013 and her ex?", "post": "[As you'll notice, I'm very inexperienced in all this]\n\nI've had an intermittent crush on this girl for quite a few years, and only recently noticed a great opportunity to start talking to her, and things have been going quite well. I even manage to stay incredibly calm and composed when with her, and that's never happened when hanging out with other girls. \n\nThe second time we arranged to meet (wouldn't call it a date though) was at a gym, where she met (or went) with her ex. They seemed to be good old friends, but not more than that. She never introduced him to me as her ex, I just know because he has the same surname as her ex-brother-in-law she once mentioned. (Brother-in-law meaning the brother of her boyfriend) \n\nWhen the opportunity arose, I invited her to have dinner in a place nearby \u2013 if she wasn't already going out with the ex, that is. She said she was, and invited me to accompany them to dinner. She went in his car and I in mine. It was nice and almost only the two of us talked, besides, her body language and specially eye contact were much more meaningful towards me than him.\n\nNow I don't quite know what to make of it. I know it raises a few red flags, but I intend to take my chances regardless. Is such a close relationship with exes normal? How should I interpret her willingness to have a \"triple date\" and having me meet him (or the other way around)?\n\nAnd would it be alright to ask her something along the lines of \"so he's [ex-brother-in-law's name]'s brother?\" just to make sure what I'm dealing with? How should I phrase things next time to ensure we go out just the two of us without sounding rude?", "summary": "After meeting girl at the gym, invited her to dinner and went with her and her ex. She seemed interested in me. Not sure what to make of it."} {"id": "t3_2xyhvc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my bf [19 M] 2yrs anxiety getting in the way of happiness", "post": "I am very prone to feeling anxiety, excessive worry, over-thinking and sometimes panic attacks. My boyfriend is always there for me, to talk and help me sort out my troubles, but I know it's a lot for him, especially in instances where my low points extend for long periods of time.\n\nIt's hard dealing with anxiety in a relationship, and it often makes me question whether these 'troubles' are fabricated due to my anxiety, or if they are a real problem in the relationship. Usually I can spot the real issues (that anyone outside would spot) quickly, and we sort through the issue together. We make a point to talk and talk often, but I won't deny we have had our fair share of issues.\n\nBesides this, sometimes, I feel like the issue is deeply rooted in my anxiety. For example, sometimes I will just seemingly out of the blue wonder if this is all going to work out with him, if we will be able to get through A situation or B situation, and it spirals out of control in my head. \n\nSilly, seeing as when this happens, I've been given no trigger or reason to suspect anything is wrong. It happens at the worst of times too, like when things are going really well! \n\nI'm seeking help for my anxiety as best as I can, but I really need some advice on how to deal with this issue inside of a relationship.\n\nI often feel like there might be a disconnect because it's hard for someone who doesn't have anxiety like my bf, to understand whats going on with me. \n\nIt's also very hard to walk away from conversations about my anxiety, because I feel like I've failed him somehow. I usually feel quite useless after a low point, with a feeling I should be apologizing, however much my bf tells me it's okay and not to apologize.", "summary": "I worry excessively, and my anxiety and panic attacks over nothing get in the way of an otherwise very happy and healthy relationship."} {"id": "t3_180wsv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I think I am done dating my current GF. What are ways to know that this is the choice I want/how do it with the least pain.", "post": "I am male 23 and she is a female 21. We have been dating for just under 2 years now, I am in my last semester of college and I feel as if I am just waiting for college to end to break up with her as opposed to doing it now. First off I really do love her, she has been there for me as a friend and as a girlfriend. I just dont see it progressing any further. So then I ask myself why wait and just do it already to let the healing start/having other opportunities to meet someone. \n\nWe talked about it last night and she just said to give it a chance and that she thinks the relationship is salvageable. Personally I just think she doesn't what to loose me. \n\nAll of that being said I do not want to crush this woman however I do not see any other way around it. No matter what she will be devastated.", "summary": "Breaking up with people is sucky. What are good questions to ask yourself to be sure that it is what you want to do? How do break up doing the least emotional damage possible?"} {"id": "t3_49oey1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17F] with my [18M] 'friends-with-benefits'; I need to move on with my life. How do I do it?", "post": "Hi.\nSo a bit of background, I've known this guy since childhood and we've always been close friends. We dated on and off in high school, but nothing too serious. We've always had this weird sexual tension that I'm pretty sure is the only reason why I still think about him.\n\nRecently, we will both be graduating, and he has expressed to me all he wants to do is leave this town and experience all the wonderful things college will have to offer (note, we're going to the same college). That's great and all, except for the fact that I was wanting something serious, and this is where my problem comes in.\n\nOf course, being friends with similar interests, we hang out on the weekends, and being friends with awkward sexual tension, sometimes we end up making out on the couch or whatever. Classic, stupid horny teenager shit. He's always extremely friendly and kind during these weekends, but then turns right around and rarely talks to me in public or avoids me at school.\n\nAfter these weekends, I always end up feeling awful and even worse off emotionally than before. I leave feeling used and stupid, although I know I'm not helping the situation because I go to his house and make it very easy for him to interact with me. He's a touchy guy, and sometimes he takes the liberty to caress my arms or back of my legs when we might be standing in a crowd of people (nothing sexual, just talks the opportunity to touch my body). For some reason, I've been tied to this guy for a long time, and his opinion has always been very important to me (even to the point where I was restricting calories because I thought he would find me more attractive. No worries, I am recovering from my eating disorder, but I need to cut ties with someone who is obviously harmful to my mental health).\n\nI want to stop feeling so stupid for pretending this guy cares about me; what can I do to distance myself from him when we attend the same school system and move the fuck on with my life?", "summary": "Guy only sees me as a friends-with-benefits, I need ways to distance myself from him and solutions for moving on with my life before college."} {"id": "t3_3lmsxn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my ex gf[20 F] for a month, doesn't want to be in a relationship atm", "post": "A little backstory on the situation. I met her at my school job that I work at in the Fall of 2014. We instantly became friends and talked a lot, at that time I already had a crush on her, and she later told me she had a crush on me as well, but she also liked another guy and began dating him. At this time we sorta stopped talking with each other but still friendly when i saw her at work. By the end of Spring they broke up, but he constantly was still harassing her(saying he still loved her, but then calling her a bitch moments later)\n\nWe started talking again throughout the Summer, and by the end I asked her out and we started going out for about a month. After a month she told me that she likes me a lot but she just doesn't know at all right now about how she feeling about being with someone, but she still thinks about being with me in the future. I've recently stopped talking with her, but she constantly smiles at me whenever we meet eye contact\n\nHonestly I don't know what to do at this point. Should I step back and give her time to think(That no contact rule), should I try and continue to be friends with her not knowing if she wants to get back with me or not.", "summary": "I broke up with someone I was dating because she needed space and didn't want to be in a relationship at the moment, and I don't know what I should do now."} {"id": "t3_eqp9i", "subreddit": "self", "title": "If you have problems with Mass Effect 2's regional pricing on Steam... (trade offer)", "post": "I happen to have an unused retail copy of Mass Effect 2 Collector's Edition lying around. I received it as a gift from the UK after I had already bought the standard edition from the EA Store, so all I could do with it (until now) was to use the Collector's Edition DLC unlock code on my main copy of the game. That means the Collector Armor and Collector Assault Rifle won't be a part of my offer, which includes codes for the game itself and Cerberus Network access. The code can be redeemed through EA Download Manager, which you can get from the EA Store itself free of charge.\n\nI want to trade the two codes for a Steam copy of either Darksiders or Alpha Protocol. PM me if you're interested. I'll respond within an hour or so.", "summary": "Trading Mass Effect 2 retail code for activation on EA Download Manager + Cerberus Network access for either Darksiders or Alpha Protocol on Steam. PM if interested."} {"id": "t3_2bp6hn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] 1.5 years, broke her dad's power tool", "post": "So I'm not sure what the proper thing to do is in this situation. I needed to hang a few things on my wall and didn't have a power drill. I was going to buy one, but then my girlfriend let me borrow one she had at her apartment which belonged to her dad. Last night I used it for 30 seconds and got two screws in the wall before it just crapped out and the motor stopped working. Let me add that it looked old and crappy to begin with, a google search turned up a newspaper ad from 1977, so it's almost 40 years old.\n\nWhat is the proper thing to do in this situation? My girlfriend freaked out at me saying that her dad will be sooooo pissed that I broke his drill and I need to buy him a new one. She told me that it worked just fine until I used it, and whoever broke it pays for it. I don't feel like I should have to as it was 40 years old and I didn't do anything wrong to \"break it\", it was on its last leg and was just done. I said I would explain what happened to her dad, but if he tells me to pay for it or buy him a new one I will argue my case. She said I should never argue with her parents and that is extremely disrespectful, some things are more important than \"being right\". I very much disagree and then we got into an argument.\n\nSo what's the best thing to do in his situation?", "summary": "Borrowed 40 year old power drill that belonged to gf's dad. Stopped working after 30 seconds. Argument about respect and what to do ensued."} {"id": "t3_36wla0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [27F] jealous of the girls that guys seem to get enamored with so easily. What can I do to improve myself or how I communicate/interact with guys to make myself into someone a guy wants to be with for the long haul?", "post": "I'm often described as \"chill\" or \"nice\", or that nothing's wrong with me. Which is true: I'm very nice and don't really have any questionable entities about myself, even though I do have some quirky tastes. Sometimes I personally feel like I'm boring but that's just an insecurity. I'm a helpful and thoughtful person, and I'm curious about the world and life. I'm sweet and generally caring more than I should be, but I genuinely enjoy helping people, traveling, and working on side projects I have. I tend to be on the quieter side and can be seen as a bit of a pushover.\n\nI've dated many different types of guys, and usually can keep them either a few dates or short term (like 3 months-ish) before they lose interest or just feel like there's nothing there. Usually our conversations are okay always and flow, but I don't feel like it's anything exciting or passionate all the time (same with dates). I don't know... I'm frustrated that I can spend so much time with a guy and they can feel nothing towards me. I see male friends who will often go on 1-2 dates with a girl and feel completely enamored by her, then only to be dumped by her. I guess I'm jealous of these girls and the power they have, and have never felt that I have whatever inner qualities that makes them so amazing. I'm pretty physically attractive and hygenic, etc. but obviuosly that's not the most important thing. \n\nI guess I'm wondering what makes these other girls so special or what I can do to engage guys in a way that makes me more than just an \"ok\" person to have around, but really do more? I know this is an issue because guys who are right for me are really bored by me I guess.", "summary": "So I'm a pretty decent person but I don't seem to have the attractive qualities that other girls have that really inspires guys to want to be with me. What can I do to maybe better ensure this happens with the right guy?"} {"id": "t3_hekxz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Has anyone volunteered abroad? Advice and Experiences wanted!", "post": "I just finished my undergrad degree in Biology - specifically ecology and evolution - and want to take some time off to get some experience while at the same time just trying something totally new. I'm looking for something that I can spend somewhere in the neighbourhood of a few months to a year in a place completely different and far away (I'm in Montreal).\n\nI've been looking for good volunteer spots for a while, but most of the ones I've been finding seems to require a couple thousand dollars just to volunteer (on top of airfare), something I can't exactly afford at this point in time. Anything that has room and board paid for is perfect for me, and I'm willing to work extremely hard and give up a lot of my time helping.\n\nI am only fluent in English unfortunately, though I can manage in French if required. I am willing to go anywhere in the world, and would like things in the realm of behavioural ecology or conservation biology.\n\nEx: [Kalahari Meerkat Project] - something like this is what I'm looking for more or less.", "summary": "Want to volunteer not *volunteer vacation*, any advice on where to look and any experience doing anything likes this is appreciated."} {"id": "t3_10hlsh", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My boyfriend has an obnoxious habit of being playfully abusive and it really hurts", "post": "Nothing really serious. He thinks he's being playful by hitting, punching, slapping, pinching and twisting my skin. But sometimes it really hurts. He has a really bad habit of twisting my nipples all the time and it gets to a point where it hurts all day. If I ask him to stop he just moves on to other parts of my body. \n\nLike today he punched my stomach several times (like pretty hard punch) and then pinched my stomach. I am still getting stinging pains on my stomach skin every couple mins from that pinch. How do I get him to stop?", "summary": "Boyfriend is always hitting, punching, slapping, pinching and twisting my skin (specifically my breast and stomach). He thinks he's being playful and doesn't realize it actually hurts. How do I get him to stop?"} {"id": "t3_uql55", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what are your stories of judging a stranger too quickly?", "post": "This morning on my walk into work i judged someone way too quickly only to regret it and feeling like a bad person afterwards.\n\nOn this cold morning walking into work i see a man that I would classify as a typical bogan (skinny, jeans from the 90's, beanie, flannelette shirt, tattoo on his right temple, sneakers and getting the very last of his cigarette that i would have tossed ages ago, just to paint you guys a picture) i was walking towards him then he towards me.\n\nAt this point we are about 20meters away from passing each other and he stops to walk in the grass instead of the sidewalk and starts picking up white pieces of paper, at first i think oh cool he found money but there is too much of it to be cash. Then I go on to think \"its probably the front of his house and his just cleaning up\" but then my mind goes off very judgmentally and thinks \"nah his too much of a bogan to live in the middle of the city its probably a stash from last night\" (immediately thinking his a drug-o or something along those lines)\n\nUpon walking past him picking things off the grass the SAP in me avoids making eye contact with this 'drugo' when he stops what he is going looks up at me and says \"Good morning, you have your self a nice day buddy!\" I respond \"Thanks\" and keep walking only to realize we was just picking up rubbish and when i turned back he kept walking down the street continuing to pick up rubbish.\n\nAt this point i felt horrible for judging this guy who was in fact a genuine good guy too quickly. Reddit, what are your stories of judging a stranger much too quickly?", "summary": "dubbed a random guy picking up rubbish as a bogan drugo in my mind. He ended up being a nice guy."} {"id": "t3_1687yd", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Would you give up a great job / future career to move to be with your friends?", "post": "Obviously a throwaway account but honestly need some advice (and probably in the wrong subreddit). \n\nI'm currently (24/M). I am studying to become a CPA (working on passing the exams). My dad owns a very successful CPA firm in a very small town. I usually drive to a city about an hour and half on the weekends to hang out with my buddies. \n\nMy question is, after I get my CPA licenses should I just move to the city to be with my buddies or stay in my small town and make a guaranteed 6 figure job working for my dad. \n\nBY NO MEANS, am I trying to be arrogant in any way whatsoever. I just need honest advice. I personally DO NOT like living in this small town, hardly any friends, and there are seriously no girls to date. Or do I move to a city where I can hang out with my buddies on a regular basis but have no connections as far as a job goes. I understand there are many people in this world who would do anything for my opportunity, I just don't know what to do. \n\nAny advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "Live in a small town with a great job or move to the city with no job connections but all my buddies live there."} {"id": "t3_1yyr49", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is there an affordable home device that functions like a \"wireless switch\"?", "post": "I've always tried to avoid using wireless because I'm a gamer and I've simply never trusted it to give me a constant good connection.\nHowever I'm moving into a new place (renting, other wise I would drill holes and run lines) and I won't be able to run a line from the living room to my bedroom.\nThey already have a Comcast or Century Link wireless modem from the cable provider.\n\nI realize I could buy a [wireless adapter] for my desktop gaming rig but I also have an xbox360 (without the built in wireless) and will be purchasing a NAS in the near future.\n\nI need a solution, not a temporary fix.\n\nNOTE: My computer/NAS will be in the spare bedroom next to my actual bedroom where my xbox and TV are located.\nI can run a single wire between the two rooms out of reach of the feline terror for my Xbox no problem.\n\nMy question is what device do i need that will function as a \"wireless switch\"?\nAll I can find are [\"wireless AP's\"] which require a physical connection to the modem.\nOther \"wireless AP's\" will take the wireless signal and boost or repeat it, but do not allow me to connect multiple devices physically.\nAlso, every wireless router I find requires a physical connection to the wireless modem.\n\nI need a device that can take that wireless signal, and turn it into physical ports.\n\nThe Home - Not to scale, but it should help clarify my situation/setup.\n[pic](", "summary": "I need to turn signal from a wireless modem into wired connections for 3 devices. What can I use? See [picture] for home layout."} {"id": "t3_fllzw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What do you do when the guy you want and the guy you have are not the same person?", "post": "I'm a 21-year old (female) college student on the east coast (US). I have known this guy for the past four years, and I have been in love with him for at least two of those years. He is also a college student, pre-med, studying to become a radiologist. Our personalities complement each other, there is natural chemistry between us, and I don't know another guy like him. He is smart, sarcastic, atypical. I'm pretty convinced that he's the love of my life. Only problem is that he lives on the other side of the country.\n\nWe have had several long, ongoing discussions about how far we take our relationship. We cannot be together right now, and may not ever get the chance to be together. We have both agreed that we should not let our feelings for each other stand in the way of opportunities to develop relationships with others in closer proximity. I have been dating another guy, training to be a cop, for about 8 months now. In the beginning I was very happy to have found someone compatible who actually lives in the same state. By now I have realized that he doesn't make me nearly as happy as the other guy does, and I want to break up with him.", "summary": "I'm in love with a man who loves me too, but I cannot have him. I am dating someone who loves me, but I don't have the emotional capacity to reciprocate. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2wduy9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [M19] doesn't take as much interest in my [M19] feelings, as I do in his.", "post": "So me and my boyfriend have been going at it for about 7 months now. I should point out that this is a long distance relationship, but we have been doing a good job of keeping the distance short. He lives in SC and I live in PA.\n\nWhere the issue lies is that he never really seems to take any sort of an interest in what's going on in my life or how I'm feeling. Not to toot my own horn here, but I do make it a point to ask him if he's okay and how he's doing when I can tell somethings up. But he rarely asks me the same. Lat time was 3 days ago and the time before that was nearly a week prior. \n\nWhenever I do try to tell him about anything that's going on in my life, be it school, family, emotional stuff, whatever, he kind of deflects it. From there he will either do the whole \"Im not enough to keep you happy\" routine and we have a huge argument, or he will give some half assed condolence and then change the topic to something else. \n\nI've tried talking to him about it and it doesn't seem to sink in. Any help??", "summary": "I try to take as much interest in my boyfriends issues and feelings as possible, but he doesn't seem to take any interest in mine."} {"id": "t3_3yabzz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 22F, want to end my vacation mid-way. Am I stupid?", "post": "I planned this vacation six months ago and have been really excited about it ever since. It was a fifteen day solo trip across various cities of Turkey. It started amazing! Today is my third day in Turkey and I loved every bit of it.\n\nHowever, I want to go back ASAP. I don't know why. Although my return tickets are booked for 6 January, but I have a bad urge to go back tomorrow or day after. \n\nI thought maybe I'm homesick, maybe I miss people or work. I'm not even bored. There's so much to do and see. Yet, I couldn't put my finger on it. But I'm sure I want to go back. It's just been three days and I'm restless. I can't enjoy the vacation when all the time I'm thinking about going back home.\n\nI'm a mess right now. Please tell me what should I do. Should I go back or should I stay on and finish the vacation as planned?", "summary": "Want to end my vacation mid-way. Should I do it or stay till the end of the trip as planned? Am I being impulsive?"} {"id": "t3_2od8li", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [38M] with girlfriend [27F] of 4 months - I love her but I'm probably not ready for this. I think I'm holding at least one other person (coworker, 25F) in 'reserve'", "post": "I've posted on this before. I've been dating this girl for several months now. Sexually, intellectually, emotionally, we're very compatible. We talk all the time. We both have kids (shes a widow and I'm separated / divorcing - relationship ended over 6 months ago).\n\nBottom line - I still like flirting with other girls. I flirted with two ladies at work yesterday, in fact - one a contractor who I've seen periodically, another is a colleague who I've been flirty with (but also work on legitimate projects with), for the last two years. In terms of the latter, I've kept it nominally professional but I continue to find excuses / ways to hang out with her. It looks like I'll probably have coffee or a drink with her after work sometime next week, ostensibly to talk about a project she and I are working on. I've told myself I wouldn't make any moves on her until she finds work somewhere else though... Which she may even do sometime in the near future (she's applied for a transfer to one of our neighboring local offices). Anyways, my girlfriend knows about nearly all of this, she also knows I've had a crush on her. She's put up with this for some reason.\n\nIn terms of my GF, I don't need to be told again, \"break up with her.\" I'm conflicted, obviously. How will this end? I don't think I'm going to marry my GF. I don't see this lasting forever. Which makes me sad. But I feel stuck. I feel like I can't give her up but I can't be on this 100% either, because I want to essentially (I guess) sleep with other women.\n\nAnyways, comments appreciated. I don't really have a lifetime of dating or relationship experience so all of this is very new to me.", "summary": "In love with my GF but I continue to feel like I'm not 100% into this and it scares me a little. Holding an officemate \"in reserve.\" How will this end?"} {"id": "t3_343ly4", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU: By making a racist joke to a black guy", "post": "I am a white male who lives in a city which is predominantly white. I would guess that there are fewer than 10 black people who work on the same floor as me, out of over 300 employees.\n\nWe work at a very large company and every year they have many sports with teams created from employees who compete against each other internally.\n\nAnyway, I was talking to this black guy about his day and the weekend. He is someone I almost never interact with him outside of the small talk around the water fountain.\n\nWhile we were talking he told me how he and several other guys were forming a company basketball team. He had mentioned he was concerned about winning, as some of the other teams being formed seemed pretty good. I tried to lighten the situation and decided to make a joke.\n\nI said: \"Well you have nothing to worry about, you have the only black guy in our company on your team, so you are definitely winning.\" Then I started laughing at my own joke. He didn't laugh a bit. He didn't say a single word. He just turned around and walked off.", "summary": "Told a black guy his basketball team was sure to win and he walked off without saying a word. In my defense though it's more of a racist compliment than a racist joke right?"} {"id": "t3_39y4b0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21F) found a friend's (21F) boyfriend (24M) on Tinder.. And she's on Erasmus.", "post": "Like the title says.. I have a friend who is dating a guy for almost a year now. For the past 6 months she's been on erasmus and we haven't spoken much during that time. From her Facebook it seems like maybe things aren't completely ok between the two of them, but I can't be sure. \n\nLast week I created a tinder account and today I found him there ! First I was confused, because tinder isn't exactly the place where you go just to make friends, and I thought that maybe it's an old account and he doesn't use it anymore. So I added him and we were a match, which was proof that he was active on Tinder at least for the past week. \n\nNow I don't know what I should do. I don't think ignoring the situation is an option. I could: 1) tell her right away that I found her boyfriend on Tinder, 2) talk to him and figure if he's there just for the fun of it, if he's interested in sex, finding someone, and then tell her, 3) any other brilliant option you can give me. \n\nI know this isn't the most important topic but there are reasons as to why I'm not telling her right away. First because I haven't spoken to her that much during these 6 months and it would be weird to talk to her now just to tell her this when it might not mean anything. And second, I'm in love with a guy who has a huge crush on her (and yes, I know this is really selfish!) but I would hate to see him running straight to her to mend her broken heart. But talk with him to see his intentions can be a bad idea, because maybe she'll get mad at me for doing that. \n\nSo reddit, what should I do?", "summary": "I found the tinder of a boyfriend of a friend of mine who is on Erasmus; what should I do? Tell or talk first?"} {"id": "t3_3qj3na", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "I'm [33M] shopping for an engagement ring for my [31F] GF - need help", "post": "I'm looking to pop the question to my girlfriend next month and have started looking around for rings. I really want this to be a surprise, so I haven't asked her anything.\n\nShe has installed Pinterest on my iPad so today I snooped on her and see she has a jewelry board - complete with wedding ring sets!\n\nMy question is do I just go ahead and get one she has pinned - there aren't many - or do I take those pictures to a jewelry store and get something in that vein?\n\nWe go on a trip in less than a month and will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary while on it. I'd love to pop the question on that day so I'm guessing time is running short.", "summary": "? Wedding ring sets pinned on Pinterest - a good indicator of her wants/style or just something she likes at the moment?"} {"id": "t3_3k371x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my bf [ 29 M ], of a year. Broke up and had a conversation about it", "post": "Actually redditors, I just wanted you to ask for your opinions.\n\nOur conversation was really necessary and definitely too late. If we talked earlier, we could have been happier.\n\nLong story short.\nWe finally were totally honest with each other about our needs and feelings but didn't come to a conclusion. He really wants to try it again. I am unsure about our well beings. \n\nIt is always a lot of work to keep your relationship on an honest point for yourself and your SO. \n\nI am really unsure about how to continue. We said that we would like to try it again but we were also scared to ruin this new base of our communication.", "summary": "if you are aware of the problems and willing to improve do you think it is possible to overcome the past and to try it again?"} {"id": "t3_18mxgg", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[25/m] chemistry with [17/f] was planning on asking her out until I found out age. What should I do next?", "post": "I recently met a girl in a local restaurant and after talking on multiple occasions over the span of many visits over a couple months I planned on asking her out. During regular conversation I found out she was 17.\n\nI normally date people around my age, and I honestly thought she was at least in college. We do hit it off and have a similar sense of humor. Should I still attempt to ask her out? Or should I just hit the brakes on this? And if I don't ask her out is it even possible to just be friends?", "summary": "I hit it off with a girl, planned on asking her out until I found out she was 17. Should I not go through with it?"} {"id": "t3_33loln", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18 M] prom date [17 F] is a foreign exchange ESOL student, feeling nervous!", "post": "I have my senior prom this weekend and I'm taking a girl who is from China. She is really cool and I like her, though we didn't really talk much until I asked her to go to prom with me last week.\nI like talking to her and am really excited about prom, but I think I'm having some trouble with language and cultural barriers. \n\nSometimes I just get stuck and don't know what to talk about. I probably shouldn't even be having this hard of a time with it, but I think I have some social anxiety too so that may be contributing.\n\nWe both really like fashion (she wants to be a designer, I'm a model and run an apparel company) so I've been talking to her a lot about that, and I just found out today that we both like anime so there's something. I guess I'm just asking for advice on how to make sure she's comfortable and has a good time at prom, in case things are different in China where she is from. I've also never been to prom with a girl I liked. I've been to prom four times but all with friends or girls who asked me that I didn't have interest in.\n\nThanks for any advice, I appreciate it. Take care!", "summary": "I'm taking a foreign exchange ESOL student to prom. I feel nervous about language/conversation and cultural barriers.\""} {"id": "t3_3atefi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My mum and uncle 1 is being threatened by uncle 2", "post": "For this I'll call Uncle 1 Harry and Uncle 2 Justin, hopefully this'll make things easier to understand.\n\nOkay, so last night uncle Harry was sent a message from Justin which demanded \u00a310,000 from both my mum and Harry or \"There will be hell\" and he knows where we both live.\n\nMany years ago Harry and Justin co-owned a shop which they both had a share in but they fell out and Justin left the family a note saying that he had decided to disown the family. Harry could not afford to keep up the shop on his own so he had to remortgage his parents house. Through these years my uncle Justin has not contacted most of the family and we had no idea of what he was doing, where he was living e.t.c.\n\nWhen he was younger Justin tended to mix with the wrong crowd and at one point he apparently was involved with an organised crime group. He has always had money problems and has had my mum pay for his car in the past because he didn't have the money. He also ran away from him parents home too for a long time when he was younger. I also found out that he has asked my cousin for money too.\n\nI don't know all the details of my mum and uncles' relationships but I know that my uncle mingled with the wrong crowds and disowned the family and I haven't seen him for years. My mum can't walk around the house without looking worried. I've never done a post before so hopefully this all makes sense.", "summary": "My uncle has threatened my mum and other uncle demanding \u00a310,000 or \"there will be hell\". He knows where we live."} {"id": "t3_3lut32", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU ordering at dominos", "post": "As title says this happened almost an hour ago i ordered at dominos with my laptop a first time and i used my italian original number onto the infos. Then i proceed to go to the order tracker ( first time at all doing this on dominos) and wait. This is where the first FU happened. I remembered that i needed an UK number to do the order and my fucked brain says if the order doesn't pass from the order phase to the cooking one in 15 minutes i'll do a second order with the number of one of my UK friend that gently gave its permission. I am obviously high af so i didn't choose delivery but i did the same order on collect. I proceed to go on tracking order and i see that i am an idiot and i send as final fuck up the third same order but with all the correct info this time and as additional infos i said to cancel my two first order because i fucked up. You need to remember that all of this happened in a 1.30 hours time frame. So i am here and seeing on the order that they thought it was a joke they canceled all 3 the order i made. Moral is now i am crying for food and without dinner neither lunch and no food in the house.", "summary": "placed 3 orders all wrong and they canceled all 3 of them leaving me without food because i am a stipid trees lover"} {"id": "t3_4779vw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 F] with my bf [38 M] dating for 4 months and i think he might be depressed and i'm confused HELP!", "post": "Long time lurker and finally had the courage to post as my introvert self cannot make sense of anything as i'm clouded with emotion.\n\nSo he said that he loves me early. (from his culture this is normal, i took it as he likes me a lot so i don't have a big issue about it). He has a kid and lives with the kid when we started dating, everything was good, i didn't had problems with it as he is giving me enough time and attention. recently he gave up the kid to the ex wife (legal issues) and they aren't divorced yet, the kid will live with the mom but he will still be able to take her from time to time. \n\nHe never wanted to talk about these issues with me as he doesn't want to drag me to his problems, but from time to time i make him open up. The problem is this affected him so much and he said that it depresses him so much. I was a bit surprised cause in my background, guys dont have much dependencies on living with kids.\n \nwhat bothered me alot is that he told me he is now uncertain of what will happen to his life. and yet he asked me to move in with him just few weeks before all this happens. It made me feel that he might be using me to just escape from what depresses him. I wanna be with someone who really wanted to be with me and not bec he is depress and needy. \n\nShould i be more patient and wait til he got used to living without the kid or is this a sign that i should end things soon.", "summary": "bf gave up living with his kid,is depressed and was not certain about his future and im confused if he really wanted to start again with me"} {"id": "t3_42mzl5", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I feel pretty tired/fatigued a lot of the time, what do I do?", "post": "I'm also unhappy with the decisions I've made, and my observational skills are very low. Today, when doing something as simple as playing cards, I messed up like trice and felt bad for it.\n\nI don't really enjoy anything anymore in a \"good way\", as in it makes me happy. Used to love playing games and making movies, but all that passion is gone.\n\nIf you've read my (one and only) previous topic, I'm into this girl, right? Well, yesterday, I was kind of starting to move on from that whole thing.\n\nBut today the most f-ed up thing happened; when me and my friends were going to eat and were passing the entrance, guess who walks in? She then sat down and ate with her friends, while I was anxious inside all of that time... ;(\n\nAnd we met one last time when she passed by and we were playing cards, after my several paranoid stares for her; one of her friends jokingly asked \"if they could play with us\". \n\nNow I feel awful again, because not once did she in any way try to acknowledge my existence. It was so bizzare too, I was absolutely unprepared, and BAM!\n\nI've contemplated how valuable my life truly is. I don't want to come off as some nihilist emo, but I don't know. I don't want my family to suspect that I'm depressed, even if my father is inclined to think so, and even explicitly asked it. I feel like I've let so many people down to the degree that I can't count, made failed impressions and come off as awkward, and feel deeply disturbed whenever I hear about everything happening in this sickening world, as well as witnessing it IRL.\n\nI don't want to look this supposed depression up though, maybe it's just a minor one and note severe?", "summary": "I have mental problems, a bad social life and failed relations. Can I be responsible and fix this or should I do something different?"} {"id": "t3_snpaj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Would like to emigrate from the US...Where do I begin? Details inside...", "post": "Married, Father of 2 girls, 9 and 5. Just never seem to make ends meet, and getting kinda scared of the political environment nowadays. I don't know, maybe it was the that KFC commercial that said with any 10 piece you get a free double chocolate pie, that made me really want to get some answers on where to begin. I have been in a rut with work, been working for a company that has been taken over twice in as many years. At 41, I figure this is my last ditch effort to start anew, in that the kids won't be too distraught of moving. They support the decision of looking for a change, but can't be too confidant that they understand. But my wife is 100% supportive.\n\nI consider myself very marketable in the Telephony/Networking world. I am currently a VoIP engineer and have been in the business for 12+ years. Is there any country that is aggressively looking for VoIP/Network engineers? Any chance of moving expenses?\n\nI would like a place that is supportive of family, that respects science, and generally not backwards. One that you would be hard pressed to find HFCS in all your food, I digress, but just bought some macaroni salad, friggin' 7th ingredient is HFCS.\n\nI know a lot will depend on the language barrier. Or is it a benefit that I know English natively. Is it difficult to obtain citizenship?\n\nIt's hard to describe utopia when it doesn't exist...at least not here in the US.", "summary": "Worried Dad about future of family in US, wants to get out...best place to begin? Life needs to become simple again and more focus on family..."} {"id": "t3_28hkzf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (28/m) half brother's dad (50's/m) just passed away", "post": "My mom had my half-brother when she was 17. She got married to his dad (Kevin) but after a couple years they got divorced. My mom kept custody, and both my mom and Kevin eventually remarried. My mom married my dad, and had myself and my brother. Kevin remarried and had a couple more kids as well.\n\nMy half-brother lived with us until he moved out for college, and had a family of his own. I'm pretty close with him and his family, and we see each other several times a year along with holidays and things like that. I've met his dad and their family a couple times, but never really got to know any of them that well.\n\nAnyway, my half-brother's dad just passed away and I'm not really sure what the etiquette is for attending the visitation and funeral and stuff like that. I want to be there to support my brother and his family, but I don't really know anything about who his dad was or what he was like.\n\nI'm thinking I'll attend the visitation, but skip the funeral. Any thoughts?", "summary": "My half-brother's dad just died. Him and my brother were close, but I never really knew him. Should I attend the visitation/funeral?"} {"id": "t3_2wyjtg", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to protect my art", "post": "I had just finished a self portrait which took a few weeks to produce. I'm a pretty bad artist but I was actually kind of proud that it turned out well for my skill level. I have terrible handwriting and can't draw a straight line to save my life. Anyways, to the FU. This portrait was done in charcoal, it will smear if it rubs on anything so to prevent this we spray a clear sealant that protects it. I took my portrait and a can which read enamel outside during class. I spray the sealant to see a white streak across my face. I think to myself \" Does it turn clear?\" And sprayed another line across the bottom to see white spatter all across it. I went inside to ask my art teacher what was up. When I walked in the asked \" You didn't use that one did you?\" \nIt was white spray paint.\nSorry for formatting first post on mobile.", "summary": "I sprayed white spray paint on my drawing I spent a long time on. Plus I can't for Mat for shit."} {"id": "t3_31xp8w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25/F] with my BF [22 M], we're both visiting his Korean Grandma for first time, help!", "post": "So my boyfriend's mom just reconnected with her mother who gave her daughter up (my boyfriends mom) when she was like 2 I think. She lives in Tampa and we are heading down to a convention in Orlando this weekend and are going to stop by Tampa to introduce ourselves, at my boyfriend's mom and grandma's request. \n\nI'm super nervous!! I know culture etiquette pretty well, I think (advise me on this too anyways!) such as taking my shoes off and such. I was wondering if anyone can give me some advice. I'm a pretty awkward person, even more so when I meet someone new. And even way more so since it's family for my boyfriend. How do I not look like an idiot? I still get nervous around his mom and we've been dating for 7 years now. \n\nAlso, should I bring her a gift? Flowers?\n\nI might be overthinking it. She might not even be that influenced by the Korean culture but I want to be prepared! Last thing I want to do is insult her...\n\nI don't know if it matters but I'm white and my boyfriend is Korean.", "summary": "Meeting Korean Grandma for the first time. Should I bring a gift and how do I not be so awkward/nervous."} {"id": "t3_32icsi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19F] with my boyfriend [19 M] of 6 months decided to take a break", "post": "Today my boyfriend and I decided we should go on a break/break up. We have been having a rough time for the past 2 weeks, as both of us have been stressed about school, and the problems with our relationship have been adding to our stress. \n\nThe problems we've been having are mostly due to me and my own insecurity in the relationship. In the past, I've been cheated on (my boyfriend with my best friend) and it has given me anxiety, however unfounded, that this will happen again in the future. \n\nMy boyfriend keeps a lot of female friends/study buddies, and I understand this completely but for some reason it still bothers me. He also has developed a close relationship with my (female) roommate, who is one of my best friends. This really bothers me, it reminds me too closely of the terrible experience I've had with my cheating ex. \n\nThe thing is I know that both my boyfriend and my friend are completely trustworthy, but still when they're alone together I get mild panic attacks (nausea, heart palpitations). My boyfriend knows that this is the effect it has on me. I know it's unreasonable of me to ask him to cut off this relationship with my roommate, and with this putting such a strain on our relationship we decided to take a break.\n\nBut even now I know that I still want to be with him, but I don't know how to curb my anxiety/jealousy. I'm too embarrassed about it to talk to my roommate. Please help.", "summary": "I'm unreasonably jealous of my (ex?)boyfriends relationships with other women but I still want to be with him."} {"id": "t3_14qky6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "HELP! 29(f) whose bf (35) has tons of female friends with whom he has few if any boundaries with- how to deal?", "post": "we've been dating on and off for 4 years now and the 'offs' were mostly because i had an issue with how he acted with one or another of his female friends. e.g. of questionable behaviors include late night calls, meeting up with them one and one and not telling me, going on trips/outings together when he and i have a fight, they all seem to know so much personal information about him (what kind of lotion he uses?!), he will drink out of their glasses when we're out, they mail him gifts, we had a fight about one particular one and then he brings her over to my house (which a bunch of his other female friends!).\n\nHe tells me I'm insecure for having these issues so i'm not sure if that's true and i'm just overly possessive or is any of this actually wrong in a committed relationship?! \n\nside note- he has serious insecurities when it comes to me mingling with almost any guy, including his own friends! he constantly accuses me of the very things i find out later he's doing behind my back! the hypocrisy kills me.", "summary": "bf has more female friends than male and spends lots of time with them despite me having issues with it and then tells me its my problem of insecurity. how to deal?"} {"id": "t3_48thdg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21F] irrationally dislike prospective coworker [20F]", "post": "Throwaway and names changed to protect the innocent and guilty, etc. I'm aware that 1. if anyone has a problem in this situation it's me and 2. it might ultimately turn out to be nothing.\n\nAnway, I'm a college student and to support myself I have a job on campus. It's in a small obscure administrative office and pretty good as campus jobs go (no customer interaction!). Because our department is pretty out of the way/unknown to most students, recruiting is usually through word of mouth or references from friends. For example, myself and the (unofficial) student manager are the same major so she recommended me and the actual manager approved my placement.\n\nCurrently we're looking at hires for next year as a lot of people are about to graduate out (nothing is settled yet). I know 2 possible applicants: Sam and Lulu. Sam and I were close freshmen year and I think she'd be great in the team. Lulu on the other hand...I find her really annoying. For no reason. She's never wronged me, everyone else seems to get along with her fine, etc. She has some flaws (immature, weeaboo-ish, kinda shrill) but I know plenty of other people with similar traits I get along OK with. We even have a few interests in common (maybe that's it? Projection?? I secretly hate myself??). \n\nSo my question: how can I prepare for maybe working with someone I can't stand? If our schedules line up I'll be in charge of training her (ugh) because there aren't many others with enough experience. Is there a diplomatic way to ask not to be working partners with her? Are there ways for me to become less bitter and intolerant?", "summary": "Possible future coworker is basically an OK person I can't stand. How can I either a. get over this or b. politely avoid her at work next semester?"} {"id": "t3_x1c56", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "33 (f) broke up with 33 (m) a month ago for omitting that he was meeting his female friends and I wished my heart would be in tune with my brain by now.", "post": "I broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years because he simply couldn't do one thing: be honest about seeing his close female friend and other female friends. He justified himself saying I'd be jealous, I'd have so much on my plate at the moment he didn't want me to worry.", "summary": "Just a rant about me, 33 (f) who broke up with him, 33 (m), a month ago for omitting things and I wished my heart would be in tune with my brain by now."} {"id": "t3_4n94bw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M], not really religious, with my Muslim girlfriend [19 F] 3 months, having problems due to religious differences", "post": "Title. Me and my girlfriend are in college, and she's a very religious yet Westernized Muslim. I'm not that religious, let alone a Muslim, and this is causing problems with us right now. This difference alone basically makes any long-term plans null, and I'm confronted with the situation now of either converting to Islam or just revert to being the friends that we used to be.\n\nI'm not adverse to converting to a specific religion just to be with her, but she doesn't want me to change who I am just to be with her. After all, she said that she likes me because of who I am 'inside', and converting to Islam would completely change my way of life.\n\nSo what do you think I should do? I know, only three months for two kids to be together is rather dramatic and relationships at my age come and go, but I honestly care a lot for her and I know she does as well. Should we go back to being just good friends, or should I pursue this and, in the process, change myself", "summary": "Me and my girlfriend are currently intrinsically incompatible due to our religious differences, but we care for each other a lot. What do you suggest I do?"} {"id": "t3_2zsjyi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24, M) went barhopping with some friends (20s, F & M) and a drunk coworker was harassing one of them. He took knowing me as license to harass her even more.", "post": "I went out barhopping with some friends for a birthday party. This was my first time doing anything of the sort (barhopping, drinking more than one beer in a night, etc.) Everything was going well until some guy began making unwanted advances toward one of my female friends. \n\nHe got in her space, tried to grind on her, etc. She shook her head no, told him to back off, scowled at him, moved away from him, etc. I recognized him as a coworker (works in a building 15 miles away from me, so I only recognized him, didn't know him well.) I acknowledged him, thinking that he would back off if he realized that someone he worked with was witnessing this. He then continued even more aggressively, while my friend thought that she couldn't be as confrontational because I knew the creep.\n\nShe told him to back off. I took him aside, told him she wasn't interested and he needed to back off, and he continued. At this point, I had no idea what to do. \n\nMy questions are: How do I smooth this over with my friend? (She has said that this happens to her often, but I feel partially responsible) In what way can I confront this coworker the next time I see him outside of work? And if this ever happens again how can I put a stop to it?", "summary": "Drunk coworker harrasses female friend who is clearly not interested: What do I say to her, how do I confront him, and how do I stop this if it happens again?"} {"id": "t3_2wzrkv", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Why won't my girlfriend stop posting so many selfies?", "post": "My girlfriend is obsessed with posting pictures of herself online. Before we started dating, the pictures were very risqu\u00e9; she was hardly wearing anything in them. Now that I've told her how much it bothers me, she is always fully clothed in these pictures, but the pictures are still very suggestive (kissy face, cleavage, poses, etc.). She is such an amazing girl and I really do want to marry her. We have been together for 2 years now and this is really the only thing we fight about, but I feel that it is a bigger issue than what it seems to be on the surface. Why does she need so much approval from other men on social media? It's very concerning to me. The thing that bugs me the most about it though is no matter how many times I tell her that it kills me to see these pictures, no matter how many times we argue about it, she will not stop. Every time I look at her snapchat or instagram there are tons of new suggestive images or video and it makes me question her motives. Whenever I ask her why she does it, she really has no good answer and just says, \"they're just pictures, I love you stop worrying.\" But it seems that someone who wants to put up this many pictures of themselves must have some kind of deep hidden narcissism that I can't see or haven't seen fully yet. Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be concerned?", "summary": "Girlfriend posts too many selfies, won't stop even though I've asked a million times. Should I be worried or am I being crazy?"} {"id": "t3_2xomhy", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by shaving my armpits", "post": "So, I saw a post somewhere on reddit, or a comment, whatever, about a guy who shaved his armpits because he didn't like dealing with the hair. I thought \"what a great idea, it's time for a trim anyway.\"\n\nSo, I grabbed my electric razor I haven't used in a while, flipped open the trimmer, and away I went. \n\nThis worked fine, and did a much better job than I could do with scissors. But I wanted to see if I could get it even shorter, so I closed the trimmer and started using the three headed shaver. \n\nThis was a mistake.\n\nI forgot I had skin tags under my right armpit, and how sensitive one's armpits can be, considering I've been a pretty hairy fellow all my life. \n\nNow I'm trying to type this on my phone while holding my arms up and blowing on the now-in- pain skin. Also there are multiple spots under the right armpit that are now bleeding.", "summary": "if you're a man, don't shave your armpits, trim them instead. Or wax them if that's your thing."} {"id": "t3_16d6x9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24M] roommate [23M] is a slob and puts no effort into keeping our apartment clean. How can I change this?", "post": "I've lived with this guy for 7 months. He's an ok dude, but he rarely showers, doesn't do laundry, and won't clean his dishes for weeks. He sulks in his room 24/7 and rarely leaves the apartment. I have to remind him at least three times to do something. \n\nI'm the complete opposite. I am a neat freak, I clean all my dishes after each use, vacuum regularly, shower, and wash my clothes once a week. I go out often and work a lot. Although we technically don't have a lease, I sublet the room to him. I need to make a new sublet, so I need some advice on what is too extreme to ask of a tenant and what is just my pet peeves. I'm not out to control anyone, but by god I don't let the smell of homeless person every time his door opens up. I have been a passive aggressive roommate before, and I am really trying to change that.", "summary": "roommate is a slob and doesn't put any effort into maintaining the apartment. How can I get him to pitch in more and clean himself up?"} {"id": "t3_bmbr9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Ask Reddit: How do you make a teenager care?", "post": "I'm at my wit's end. \n\nI've got a 19 year old daughter - she's smart, and very artistically talented. Unfortunately, there seems to be a disconnect in her head about actually caring about the consequences of her actions. She got accepted to a top art school, and we sent her off last year - almost straight F's. And apart from lying to us about her grades (so she wouldn't get in trouble), we just don't feel like she has any shame about fucking up so badly. \n\nShe got a speeding ticket, didn't tell us about it until we got the notification her license had been suspended for failing to show up for the hearing. \n\nShe's damaged cars three times:\n\n- Her car: looks like she sideswiped a parking column. $800 repair. (Said it happened while she was inside at work. We took her at her word)\n- Her mom's car: ran up on a curb, damaged two tires and rims: $1500 repair. (Said someone ran her off the road. I'm doubtful)\n- Her car (AGAIN!) This time essentially the entire right side - looks like she pulled in next to a wall. Can't open the passenger side door. \n\nThe last one was yesterday - she came home, didn't say a word, went to the beach with her friends for the weekend. We only noticed it today.\n\nMy wife is ready to ship her off to the military; I would if I wasn't so vehemently opposed to feeding the Iraq meat machine. But I have no idea what to do. Obviously we've fucked this up by making her life too easy, but how do we unfuck it?\n\nAny and all suggestions welcome. Suggestions to ship her to RedLetterMedia as a film reviewer will only be considered as a last resort.", "summary": "19 year old has grown up to be a real princess. How do we make her into a responsible adult at this late date?"} {"id": "t3_29itfp", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [19/m] think my friend [19/f] of 2 years could be more", "post": "Hey reddit,\n\nWe met on a school trip to Italy and I had feelings for her nearly from the beginning on. But she is very difficult in terms of meeting up (It took us 1 1/2 months to get a coffee together). About half a year later I told her that I have feelings for her and that I feel like she doesn't return them (Still, she was very difficult to meet and didn't meet my approaches). She said that she is sorry for our friendship and we said goodbye. I stopped writing with her and even deleted our friendship on facebook, because I couldn't stand seeing her face all the time. Few months later she messaged me, why I deleted her and she feels very sad about loosing our great friendship and I gave in because I missed her so much. We've been very close friends again ever since, although we still met only every two weeks, sometimes more, sometimes less.\n\nOur relationship grew closer over time. We went on dates together, cuddled, were holding hands and even talked about what it would be like if we had sex. I fell in love with her more and more.\n\nNow I haven't seen her for 3 months. She takes several days to return my messages or sometimes a week, although she wants us to meet up again.\n\nI think like this could be a point where I could end this relationship, but I'm not sure if I shouldn't confess my feelings for her or if that would make it worse.", "summary": "Very close female friend and I are loosing contact, not sure if I should break it up or confess my feelings for her"} {"id": "t3_37o9qu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17m] am in a happy relationship and have been for 8 months. I am insecure for absolutely no reason and I don't know how to stop.", "post": "Background info on the relationship: We have been happy for 8 months and have had our share of ups and downs but we are in love as much as 17 year olds can be. We both extremely happy.\n\nBackground on me: I am a 17 year old and have no reason to be insecure. I am a 4.0 student and am the class president. I am not really attractive but I'm not repulsive either. I am also fit and am not overweight at all. I have absolutely no reason to be insecure at all. \n\nSo the issue: For some reason I constantly feel as if there is someone better for my girlfriend out there. I have even gone as far as to state repeatedly that there is probably someone better out there for her to her(I know that was dumb). She always responds saying I am the best. I don't know why I feel this way at all.\n\nI think one part of it could be that she has a lot of male friends and one that I cannot stand. She talks to him a lot(not as much as she talks to me). Even though he is interested in someone else I still get somewhat jealous and insecure when they spend time together even when I'm there(I know I'm really hopeless). this whole example is just one situation of the many.\n\nOverall I'm just worried about screwing up with her by being to insecure. She already knows a little about how I feel but not everything. I know this whole post is pathetic but I didn't know where to turn to.", "summary": "I am feeling insecure for no reason in a happy relationship. I love her and don't want her to go away because I am so broken."} {"id": "t3_4zmxwv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by ripping my pants at work NSFW", "post": "This happened today before lunch. So i work at a construction company doing remodels and new structures. I was installing crown molding (which is like baseboard but for the ceiling) and i was standing on a 6ft ladder on the second to last step (yes i know im short) when suddenly my partner asks for help. \n\nSo i jumped off the second to last step from the 6ft ladder and then when i land i hear a rip/tear like noise from down under. I look down and yep my shorts ripped from under the zipper to my inner thigh on my right leg and feel a cool breeze. So i panicked and got some tape to cover my crotch thinking it would work but nope, the rip just started to expand and get wider. \n\nLuckily this happened right before lunch. So i jump into my car and drive to a fast food joint( went to the drive thru because i was to embarassed to go inside) contemplating on going to the store to buy a new pair of jeans or shorts but i was way too embarassed to show my crotch to the world so i didnt. \n\nI drive back to work, and to my surprise, i see 2 flashy/exotic cars on the driveway. And then i remebered that today the realtors and potiential clients were going to come and see the house that we were working on. With my ripped pants i decided to eat my lunch in my car. So i waited for them to leave to back inside when i heard one of the lady realtors say to her coworker \"i forgot my earphones ill be right back\" then i remembered that i left my earphones on the kitchen counter. I saw her leave with some earphones on her hand so i rush inside to the kitchen counter and yep she took my earphones. Shouldve wore pants today.", "summary": "ripped shorts when jumping off a ladder. Too scared to show my crotch to realtors i refused to go back to work, realtors took my earphones that were on the kitchen .rable. rip me"} {"id": "t3_2szh8c", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my gf [25 F] together for 5 years, found out she slept with her ex 4 years ago", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years. Admittedly, we have had some rough patches over the years and the most recent one resulted in her confessing [VIA TEXT] that she cheated on me in the first year of our relationship with her ex-bf. I was mortified. I have been a victim to infidelity in past relationships and the wounds never really healed so my insecurities always convinced me it was going to happen again. \n\nI went off. So many explitives! We lived together! But anyway, I'll fast-forward. \n\nAfter ignoring her pleas for forgiveness and countless apologetic texts and messages, I finally calmed down enough to have a civil conversation. I had several questions. Basically, our conversation culminated in even more confessions...personal ones, from each of us. There was the usual explanation of why she cheated, \"was still in-love\" with her ex, it only happened once, etc. \n\nBut then, we told each other things we never had the courage to before. In 5 years we still hadn't divulged our deepest secrets. She recounted an absolutely morbid, dreadful story from her childhood wherein I learned that she was far more fucked up than she led on and I finally grew sympathetic enough to attempt forgiveness of her past transgressions [seriously, it was fucked up guys]. In summation, the convo culminated in the two of us somehow becoming closer than ever before. She officially knows absolutely EVERYTHING about me, and I her. This has never happened to me in a relationship before, so I'm treading in unknown waters at the moment. Maybe the relationship is worth saving now? I mean, it was so long ago and only happened once. What should I do? Has there ever been a relationship that involved cheating, but then they worked it out? I'm interested in finding some kind of precedent on this. Please let me know what you think.\n\nWe're technically still together but the relationship is completely different and we're just trying to move it forward. On one hand I still love her, and she has been showing a lot of remorse. On the other, am I just being weak?", "summary": "Been together for 5 years, found out she cheated w/ her ex 4 years ago. It was a long time ago and only happened once. Do I forgive her?"} {"id": "t3_3tepkr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Final Update] My[22F] roommate is upset at me because I didn't let her drive my[22F] car.", "post": "[OP here](\n\n[Second Update](\n\nIf anyone else was interested in what happened with me and my roommate, thought I'd give a final update.\n\nLast time we got into an argument because she refused to split the electricity bill half and half and just make me pay her my half at the end of the month, but last year I never remembered to ask her the amount of each month so at the end of the year I owed her about $200, she told me I was making things complicated and I'd have to go through many steps to be added to the account, went into her room and closed the door on my face.\n\nWell a lot of people told me to cut her out of my life but I wasn't too sure about it since I had known this person for about 5 years but we've been roommates for a year. \n\nI finally got the balls to tell her after a week that I was moving out because I did not want to argue anymore and it was ruining our friendship. She got upset at first and told me that things would change (but she'd always tell me this whenever we'd argue) and I told her that the line has been crossed and she had to learn that her actions had consequences since she's always just say 'sorry' and though things were better. \n\nI don't want to get into much detail about the moving process but I finally moved out, and I'm typing this at my new place. I'll be honest, I'm scared shitless cause I don't know anyone else and I don't hang out with anyone else (and pets are not allowed here) but I have a semester left so I'll make it work. \n\nAs for my roommate and I, we talked a few hours ago about the old apartment (she got a new roommate), got into an argument again and I left. I don't know what will happen next but I'm just happy I can come hope to a quiet and relaxing home.", "summary": "Moved out, roommate didn't like the idea but had to accept it. Still don't talk, but I'm happy, and a bit lonely, but mostly happy."} {"id": "t3_4og7mw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "36F Is it irresponsible to get married when you don't know if you want kids?", "post": "I've never known for sure one way or another if I wanted kids. I've never really fantasized about it but I also have an appreciation for how amazing it can be to be a parent. I'm a well adjusted person, have good relationships and I want to get married. But since kids are the number one 'talk about this before you get married' question, it feels like I would be irresponsible to commit before I knew what i wanted in this department. \n\nAnyone have any advice on coming to a decision or working through it in a marriage?", "summary": "I should know if I want kids by now, but I don't. Should I wait to get married until I do?"} {"id": "t3_1oqess", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "my head has been successfully gotten into DAMMIT", "post": "Was supposed to see an old booty call tonight. I suggested we meet for drinks first. This made him very upset, and he insisted it had to just be a fuck-and-leave kind of thing. Which sometimes I'm into, but I wasn't feeling it for tonight. So I pressed the issue, which made this guy fly into something of a rage. He kept texting saying that I was his slut, he made the rules, and I don't get to speak up. This continued to escalate until he sent the following text (sic all the way through, he doesn't really understand grammar):\n\n>\"I hate to say it, but your not that attractive so word of advice when a good looking guy with a big dick that enjoys some casual sex asks you to have sex you dont talk, you listen and follow...dont everrrr ask to go out to bar or drinks or anything. Its a hi by fuck suck thats it no in betweeen bullshit. Your not worth that shit, your worth me busting a nut thats it.\"\n\nI KNOW THIS SHOULD NOT BOTHER ME. He is stupid, trying to make me upset, and also, does not understand the difference between \"by\" and \"bye\" so should I really be taking him seriously?! But now I'm spiraling because what if I'm just some ugly girl guys fuck because I'm easy?! I've realized so much of my identity is based off of my own perception of my looks. And it's fucked that so much of my sense of self worth is placed in how I look.\n\nI don't want someone to say \"awww but you're so much better than him!\" I want to hear a guy say to me, \"no, you're beautiful. You are visually pleasing to my eyes.\" And that disturbs me.\n\nBut not as much as I'm disturbed by the thought that I may not be physically attractive.", "summary": "Asshole made me feel ugly, now I have all the thoughts about self-esteem and body image, but mostly, what if I'm ugly?!?!?!"} {"id": "t3_2ai08r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my GF [21 F] together 18 months, she in so no longer sexually attracted to me and wants a break from our relationship. I feel lost and completely empty inside.", "post": "We met on the first day of university and we were in love within a few weeks, we were in the same halls so living together from day 1 and did so in second year as well. It was amazing for a long time, we spent so much time together and our relationship became really strong. \n\nIn this time, I gained a significant amount of weight. The me that went to university and met her on the first day, the me she fell in love with, weighed 150 pounds. Two years later I now weigh 198 pounds and I look considerably less attractive than I did when we first met.\n\nShe now no longer finds me physically attractive. To her, we've just kind of been best friends for the past few months. She tried really hard to get back into the sex but it just didn't work.\n\nShe now wants to take a break. She says she doesn't want to see other people. She just doesn't want be my girlfriend for a bit. I knew this was coming and already started losing weight a few weeks ago, I plan on continuing this. \n\nShe hopes the break will show her that this is really what she want, that she'll miss me unbearably eventually, and, combined with my weight loss, we might pull through in a few months. It's going to be hell for me.\n\nShe says that if we survive this, we'll have to start from scratch, I need to show her that I am still attractive, there's no relationship without the sexual urgency.\n\nDoes anybody have experience of similar situations? Does it sound like I have a chance here?", "summary": "Gained a lot of weight over the course of the relationship and gf no longer finds me attractive, wants a break to see if separation can fix that."} {"id": "t3_l14la", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "I'm trying to rehome a wonderful cat with special needs. Any advice?", "post": "Here's the deal:\nThree months ago, I took in a cat that was scheduled to be euthanized at a local shelter. She was older (about 12), and super emaciated, but I totally fell for her personality and wanted to give her a second chance. \n\nShe is an awesome cat. She's super friendly and people-oriented, basically follows me from room to room, loves to sit on my lap, and sleeps with me every night. Great cat for someone who wants a constant companion.\n\nBUT\n\nShe turned out to have some sort of intestinal disorder (probably either irritable bowel syndrome or intestinal lymphoma, but we can't tell without biopsies). It caused chronic diarrhea, and was probably part of the reason she was so emaciated. For some reason, she also can't eat dry food - she vomits every time, but doesn't have problems with wet food.\n\nNow, all four of my roommates insist that I can't keep her (we're moving into a no pets apartment, and the roommates really don't like her). I need to find her a new home ASAP.\nShe's doing much better, her diarrhea is under control with steroids/antibiotics, and she's gaining weight. She is still very skinny, though. \n\nI can't take her back to the shelter. I also have doubts about adoption agencies (even ones that take senior/sick cats), because they all seem to be filled with kittens right now.\n\nAnyone have any advice? Optimistically, does anyone know someone in the SF bay area interested in a special needs cat?\n\nI really don't want euthanasia to be an option, she's so nice, and her quality of life is good.", "summary": "Trying to rehome special needs cat in SF bay area. Needs a lot of attention, and needs medication to control intestinal disorder."} {"id": "t3_2rda57", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27F] with my cheating bf [27 M] on/off for ~2 years", "post": "I got back together with my boyfriend who I caught cheating on me (hookers, telling his college friends he broke up with me and hitting on them, sexting coworkers). I wasn't the easiest person to be in a relationship with so we agreed to give it another try.\n\nWe took a break in the middle and we were both interested/going on dates with other people. We both agreed to stop talking to these people when we got back together. I blocked the guy I was interested in. He told her he was trying to work it out with me and blocks her. Then he texts her inviting her to an event a few days later. And tells me that just because he blocked her doesn't mean that he couldn't text her. SHE had to call him out on this shitty behavior (embarrassing as fuck). She's also a cheater. She's been cheating on her boyfriend.\n\nHe says he's no longer talking to her. I believe him. He tells me he runs into her sometimes and they chit chat like acquaintances.\n\nThe other day when he ran into her, she said she wanted to talk to him. He gave her an excuse that he was busy. \n\nI want him to shut her down directly (I'm not interested) and he's complaining that he can't do that. Not sure what to do, beyond pissed and frustrated with his bullshit.", "summary": "Got back with a cheater who lied about stopping contact with a woman he was interested in. Refuses to shut her down directly."} {"id": "t3_1jakuv", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Found out my mother is using drugs again after 2 years, I want to call her probation officer. Advice?", "post": "Yesterday I found out my mom has been using cocaine. She's struggled for upwards of 14 years with a variety of drugs: coke, crack, heroin, and xanax. She went to jail and has been clean ever since. She lives with my grandparents, and the family dynamic is basically that my grandparents are my parents and my mother is my sister (no father figure). My grandmother has recently fallen ill, has been in the hospital more this year than she's been home. I know it's been really difficult for my mom to step in and take control of the family, but I can't forgive her for this. She has no job, she basically leeches off of my grandfather's money, and now she's spending that money on drugs. Again. I moved out at 18 (I'm 22 now), but I'm home visiting and caught her yesterday. I'm strongly considering calling her probation officer today to let him/her know that my mother is using again and she should be drug tested regularly again--I believe they stopped testing her a few months ago because she was doing so well. I have to deal with the very real possibility that this may lead to her going to jail again and causing my grandfather to be left in the house without anyone. I know this would hurt both of my grandparents, but maybe going back to jail now will save them a lot of agony if my mother starts using heavily again. Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "Mom was clean for 2 years, caught her using again yesterday. Should I call her probation officer even if it means sending her back to jail/leaving my elderly grandfather alone?"} {"id": "t3_421iy5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28F], housesitting; approaching an issue with the maids while the owners are away", "post": "Hello /r/relationships! I am not sure this is the right place to post as it seems outside the usual scope of things posted here, but hopefully someone will have advice for me.\n\nI am currently cat-and-house-sitting for my aunts, who are out of the country (and largely out of contact range) for the next month or so. They travel frequently and I've been taking care of the place off and on for years. It's a lovely, recently remodeled home, and they have maid service once a week to do most of the light cleaning.\n\nI have never had an issue with the maids - they're usually quick, non-intrusive and leave the place sparkling. However.\n\nLast night I came home late and it was obvious the maids had been through. I didn't think anything of it, but this morning I saw a long streak of what appeared to be dried foam/suds from cleaning solution left on the kitchen counter. I wiped it away and it was immediately apparent that it had eaten through the finish to the concrete underneath, which is a HUGE pain to refinish and cure. (There have been issues with the counter before and I know firsthand how annoying and lengthy the curing process is when the finish gets screwed up.) So obviously this is something that needs to be brought to the maids' attention before more damage is done. They will return three more times before my aunts are back from their trip, and I can't contact them where they are right now.\n\nBut...the maids are not my employees. I'm fairly uncomfortable broaching this with them for that reason, and I will not be able to be here every time they are for the remainder of my stay (nor do my aunts expect me to have to supervise their work).\n\nShould I get over it and talk to them, or is that inappropriate? I don't know how my aunts would handle the situation with them.", "summary": "Housesitting and the maids damaged the kitchen counter; not sure how to address it with them as I do not employ them myself and cannot contact the owners."} {"id": "t3_3f4c9s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26 M] with my 28 [F] of 2 years, am getting sick and tired of job stress being used an excuse. She just sent me a message that could be the last straw.", "post": "My GF of the past couple years started a new job about 6 months ago. She finds it extremely stressful and hates it with every bone in her body. I totally understand - the demands are intense. She is putting in at least 60 hours and week and constantly dealing with last minute requests and insane expectations from her boss.\n\nUnfortunately her stress has been overflowing into our relationship. I am often put on the sideline, which is totally okay. However, lately job stress is being used as an excuse to justify behaviour which I find completely unacceptable - verbal abuse, yelling, etc. I have done everything I can to try to be a supportive partner but my patience is wearing thin. \n\nTonight I called her to say goodnight. She told me that she was super stressed, proceeded to hang up on me and then texted me that she \"thinks we need to take some time\". I replied that I have no idea what is going on and would like to talk. I called and she is simply ignoring me. I am fed up. \n\nHow should I deal with this?", "summary": "GF started a new job 6 months ago and is using stress as an excuse for poor behaviour. She just sent me a text out of the blue asking for time and is ignoring me. How to respond?"} {"id": "t3_2xjbbm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it love or insecurity or possessiveness", "post": "Ok so i have been seeing this girl for 6 months. I am 24 and she is 26. We hit it off instantly. We were great together. It was a great time. As time passed by she started to get a bit possessive. At the start i thought it was nice that she is possessive about me suggesting that she really likes me. Off late things are getting out of hand and now i am confused.\n\nShe gets really possessive if i talk to any other female friend. Immediately she starts getting \"Negative vibes\" from that female.\nShe blocked me for 3 days just because my colleagues were telling me the story about the trip which i missed btw coz of her. I didnt go coz i knew she would feel bad.\n\nAgain she blocked me for 2 3 days coz i was talking to her best friend who is committed btw.\n\nShe gets angry n mad at all the small things and make me feel like i am doing something wrong. She got pissed merely coz i accepted a friend request on fb of my office colleague. She always accuses me of flirting n gets all weird if i am standing near any female in the GROUP pic. She then goes and finds my solo pics from 3 4 years ago n then accuses me that i am a flirt\n\nIts like a guilt trip always for not doing anything wrong. I cannot keep losing people coz she gets negative vibes right?\n \nI mentioned the word seeing coz after this possessiveness started i asked her out and shes not interested in a relationship. So apparently we are just friends but she has also confessed that she likes me alot and she does . We were reallyy close.", "summary": "What thing confuses me is that she says she feels so possessive only about me which i know is true. What m i supposed to do?? Its driving me crazyy..."} {"id": "t3_d7bcq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, What Kind of Dog Should My Roommates and I Get?", "post": "Here's the scoop: We live in a reasonably spacious apartment (for Brooklyn), a block away from a park. My one roommate will be taking official ownership/responsibility for the dog (meaning it's his dog, he takes it with him when we all no longer live together, and he will be the primary person responsible for feeding/cleaning/ect.) but we're all pretty excited about it and have gotten into a debate about what kind of breed we should get.\n\nCriteria: \n\n**1.** We will be rescuing this dog.\n\n**2.** It has to be small enough that we can carry it our arms/container (my roommate works in a pet-friendly office in manhattan, so it needs to be able to ride the subway with him).\n\n**3.** It has to be big enough to not be completely useless/helpless. We live in a 5-story walk-up and we do not want to have to carry our dog up the stairs.\n\n**4.** No hyper-active/super high energy dogs. We're looking for a four-legged 5th roommate.\n\nSo, any good suggestions out there?", "summary": "My roommates and I want a chill, smallish dog to share our brooklyn apartment with. What kind should we get?"} {"id": "t3_4jvg27", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "VFS, an outsourcing company taking the proverbial", "post": "Hello Reddit!\n\nI've encountered a problem which I'm completely lost with. I'm a British citizen living in England, my wife is dual national Iranian-British and she has many family members living out in Iran. One of her elderly aunties was hoping to visit the UK and so we've been helping her fill in her forms and hopefully get the visa granted.\n\nEverything went fine up until booking the appointment at the visa office in Tehran, at which point it took me days of checking till they posted some appointments. When they did there was a single day and that was that. So we quickly booked it and paid for it. She's just turned up there today only to be turned away and told they've cancelled it and they let everyone know by email, only they haven't done. She's then been told that they will email her with an alternative appointment at another time. \n\nNow I don't truly believe they will email her, which means she's lost her money which is beyond the actual problem which is how disgustingly this is being organised and operated. She has travelled in excess of 5 hours at the age of 82. As a British citizen I feel like this is insulting to me and I feel like something needs to be done, only I have no idea what to do?! The whole outfit is ran by an external company, VFS, and I think my problems lie with them. It would seem they are being allowed to operate completely unmonitored and unmoderated. I can find no phone numbers, no emails, no nothing with which I can voice my concerns.\n\nAnything anybody could suggest or add would be really appreciated!!", "summary": "Some outsourcing company, VFS, used to apply for visas for several different countries is operating a disgusting service and something needs to be done!"} {"id": "t3_2k9k2u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25 M] am having doubts about a prospect [20 F]", "post": "So i met this girl on Tinder and we hit it off initially, she messaged me around 11 one night and told me her date went south and her date bailed so i told her to come chill. We ended up having some adult fun and she ended up staying the night.\n\nShe came over a couple days later and we just watched movies and we ended up just passing out and going to sleep.\n\nShe added me on facebook and immediately started tagging me in posts which i should have told her i don't want. My facebook is low key and i wanna keep it like that. I don't post much at all. \n\nI appreciate that she was so gung ho to include me in her life but she's a VERY active facebook user and that isn't me at all.\n\nWhat makes it weirder is that she posted publicly on facebook today that she was going on a date and wearing a cosplay suit from a certain children's game to her date. This just totally turned me off. I understand that we aren't in any relationship at all, we've only just met practically, but when someone adds you on facebook like that then posts about a date they're having with someone else it gives the impression they lack a certain social aptitude. \n\nShould i sever contact? She's a nice girl and i have the feeling she'll end up wanting to do something again. Should i feel uneasy if we aren't in any sort of relationship?\n\nI'm 90% sure someone will tell me i need to tell her what she did was a bit weird if she wonders why i'm acting distant, i just need to hear confirmation that i'm not crazy.", "summary": "Met a girl, hung out with her a couple times, she adds me on fb, posts publicly in a somewhat tactless way that she's going on a date with someone else. Not sure what to think."} {"id": "t3_35y0np", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by breaking an 8 year olds leg", "post": "This happened a year ago or so. I was skiing with my brother and we thought it'd be fun to try the [fun park] We stand on top of the slope looking down and we both agree that the coast is clear. Aight, good to go! I get some decent speed and feel confident.\n\nWhile I'm trying to balance myself midair I see a short humanoid standing with his back towards me and talking on his phone if I can remember correctly. I let out a shriek and try to seperate my legs so I don't pierce his back with my skis. I hit his back with my crotch and fucking demolish him. Because he stood upright with his boots and I bent him forward with good force he took quite the beating. \n\nAll I'm thinking is \"holy fuck I killed a kid\". I check on him, he's not saying anything. \"I am so sorry, I had no idea you stood there. How are you?\" Still not saying anything and looking at me like I'm the devil. Suddenly starts crying really hard wich makes my heart bleed. I call for help and paramedics arrive and says that his fibula & tibia (lower leg bones) are both broken. Eventually his dad comes along and I tell him I broke his sons leg. I don't explain to him how it was possibly his sons own fault but I just apologize and he tells me to keep going and not think about it too much. I still feel bad about it.", "summary": "Kid ~~obnoxious~~ oblivious of his surroundings gets hit in the back by a 19 year olds body weight with full force from a jump. Broke his lower leg pretty good."} {"id": "t3_37beq4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[20M] girlfriend[20F] broke up with me unexpectedly [1 year], how to deal with seeing her every day?", "post": "Lurker, but decided to make an account for this. Here's the story:\n\nMy girlfriend (lets call her Davina) text me yesterday asking to meet up, sounding very serious, which surprised me a little. I went along, thinking it was just Davina being stressed out with exams, but as soon as I got there I could sense it was worse. She explained to me there that her feelings towards me have changed gradually and that she no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me.\n\nIt was a bit of a shock to say the least. Mainly because she was being absolutely fine with me a couple of days ago (which she explained as trying to work through it, thinking her cold feet were merely a by-product of stress.). I asked if she would change her mind, if she was truly serious and she said yes, she was, which hurt. She seemed genuinely upset about the breakup though. However, I saw her the day after and she seemed happy and back to normal, which upset me a bit (though I confess, whatever the opposite of schadenfreude is, it isn't an admirable trait).\n\n \nThe problems arise because Davina and I are both on the same course at university and so will have to see each other basically every day next year. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with seeing her every day as I still love her, even though she might not feel the same. What can I do to lessen the pain and make things less awkward for our course friends? What can I do to try and win her back (if that's an option)? Another problem is that the break up happened a couple of days before my final exams for the year, and I can't focus on anything at the moment. How can I move past my 'grief' and concentrate on studies for the next couple of weeks? \n\nThe break-up has left me feeling incredibly lonely, and that probably the worst part. I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading, any advice is appreciated.", "summary": "Girlfriend of a year broke up with me, have to see her everyday for at least a year, what can I do to lessen the pain/not make things awkward/feel less lonely?"} {"id": "t3_3ojvd6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by getting the gender wrong", "post": "This was actually back in high school. So it was the first day of class and we did one of the activities to learn something about everyone. You got with a partner you didn't know and told the class something you learned about them. I got put with a kid i've never seen at school before but he looked pretty cool. He was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt and his name was raegan. So it gets to me and i say whatever i learned about raegan, something along the lines of \"He went to california over the summer or something,\" and my teacher just replies \"She went to california.\" So i'm there thinking my teacher is saying i said she went to california so i say back to her \"I didnt say she i said he.\" So the teacher says to raegan \"Raegan your a girl arent you?\" which raegan just says \"yes\". I dont think I have ever felt so bad in my life.", "summary": "Thought a girl wearing guys jeans and a sweatshirt with a guys hair cut was a guy and called her a guy to a whole freshman high school class."} {"id": "t3_hg2ve", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I have a huge jealousy problem. What should I do?", "post": "My SO went abroad to work in Europe this summer at a science institute (3 months), and will be visiting Germany, Italy, England, Switzerland, and a few other nearby countries. He and his brother plan on meeting up for the last 2 weeks he is there to travel around and see the sights, e.g. Paris, Eiffel Tower, Stonehenge.\n\nI'm having huge jealousy issues that are starting to spill over into my conversations with him. I'm snappy, sarcastic, and just generally unsupportive. Mostly, I'm upset because he gets to go without spending a dime of his own money. His parents bought his plane tickets and gave him 300 euro in spending money while he is abroad. Furthermore, his mother promised to deposit 100 dollars, american, into his bank account each week for \"extra spending money.\" They have bought him a $200 backpack, clothes, toiletries, AND what is likely a $500 digital camera.\n\nI find the situation ridiculous. He does not need to also be receiving a paycheck from his mother. I suppose I'm also upset because he doesn't have a job, and has normally a $100 balance on a month to month basis - while I work a part-time job just to stay afloat on my rent, and have money for groceries. His parents pay for all of that too.\n\nAlso, I'm just sad that he's gone.\n\nThere is a little girl inside of me that wants to scream \"That's not fair!\" whenever I talk to him on Skype, and it's starting to become obvious that I'm upset.\n\nI really WANT to be supportive. But, oh, it's so hard. Especially when he acts like these handouts are no big deal, and I shouldn't be upset about them. What should I do?", "summary": "Boyfriend's parents shelled out over $3000 for his 3 month trip to Europe and I'm finding it hard to cope."} {"id": "t3_2mylut", "subreddit": "self", "title": "What is wrong with me??", "post": "I'm not exactly sure how to explain this but here goes,\n\nSince high school, I've always had times where, for no reason at all, I would wake up feeling unhappy. Everything would feel right, yet I couldn't stop the unhappy feeling.\nI originally thought maybe it was because I couldn't get a girlfriend or because I was scared about finishing school and finding a job and being \"successful\".\nFast forward ten years; I've travelled overseas, I have a great paying job that I really enjoy, and I even have an awesome girlfriend whom I adore.\nYet, I STILL get into phases of unhappiness. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out or understand why.\n\nEarlier this year, I decided I wanted to leave my job and move overseas. I like to make sure I'm able to work before leaving, so I've been applying at a number of places in the country I'm travelling to.\n\nThis was super exciting. For the first time in years, I found myself happy. I would wake up feeling great and excited. I was looking forward to what would happen \u2013 I felt scared and nervous, but it was good!\n\nDuring all this, I even met my girlfriend :) We've been together for a couple of months now and she's been helping me with my job applications.\n\nJust last week, I received an offer from one of the companies! Things are going great!!\n\nHowever, now those feelings of unhappiness have started again. I don't know why. \nI am SUPER grateful for everything I have and where life has led me to this point, yet I still wake up feeling unhappy. It REALLY annoys me because I WANT to be happy and I SHOULD be happy. I feel like an ungrateful douche but I can't help it. I consciously know that I'm unhappy for ZERO reason and yet I cannot stop it.\n\nJust what the fuck is wrong with me?!?!?!?\nI apologise if I've made no sense during this rant. Even if no one reads this, it feels good to get the words out.\n\nAnd sorry for wasting your time.", "summary": "I'm 27, I have a great paying job that I enjoy, I have an awesome girlfriend, and right now, life couldn't be better. Yet I still feel unhappy and cannot figure out why."} {"id": "t3_3v3uv9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25M] with my [25F] longish-distance girlfriend, I sometimes need my space and not text/call all the time", "post": "We have been dating for about a year now in a semi-long distance relationship. We both live in different states and had started seeing each other every few weeks, but now it's much more frequently due to a recent move (still about only once a week). She constantly wants to talk and text me but sometimes I just don't feel like talking to her because honestly I don't care about so many small mundane things. I do actually love her and she has so many amazing qualities about her, which is why this is a minor issue, but I feel like it's something that needs to be addressed soon or else it could blow up into something worse than a talk. \n\nWe communicate very well and I've told her I sometimes can't talk, but not that I just don't want to talk. She has told me how she would like to be in more contact because we don't live together right now so it's that much more important, which I completely agree with, but we need to find that balance. Do I tell her that sometimes I don't want to talk, at the risk of hurting her feelings, or do I make excuses as to why I can't talk, which I would rather not lie about?", "summary": "Long-ish distance relationship, she wants to talk more but I need space, do I tell her I don't \"want\" to talk?"} {"id": "t3_3o7lwz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24M] have nothing in common with my SO [23F], I'm underestimated by her and she's not trying anymore.", "post": "Hi, I'm a 24M with great job and lots of hobbies, I work a lot and I love it, hence I always have something to do. I'm also quite resourceful in everyday life. My SO is 23F, working and studying, has poor and badly paid job, no hobbies. We love each other, but we share no interests and we have diametrically different opinions about everything (religion, minorities, guns, food, literally everything).\n\nWe're living together for a few months now and it's been tough. She stopped trying, just requiring, complaining and constantly being depressed (because lack of her money, issues at work, at uni etc.). She also acts like she was thinking that I should commit all my free time to her.\n\nAlso I feel totaly underestimated becasue I'm always worst in her eyes and I'm even no respected for my job which gives me enough money to buy all common stuff (home expenses, groceries, fees, etc) except for rent which I share with her.\n\nShe, on the other hand, is 'feeling not loved' becasue I enjoy going out without her (~2 times a month with a friends for a beer) but with her I'd rather stay at home and talk/watch a movie/do other stuff. Still I'm going out with her at least few times a month because I know she likes it.", "summary": "Nothing in common with my SO and underestimated by her even though I'm pretty awesome. Also SO not trying anymore after moving in together. Can this be fixed? Can such pairing even work? Am I being selfish?"} {"id": "t3_ra677", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[27M] Confused on interest of [25F] after several dates", "post": "I met a cute girl that I am very interested in online. After a great first date over drinks, I followed up with a second dinner date that ended in a kiss. Both dates were at least 2 hours of continual conversation. \n\nThe third date involved walking around town and a late dinner. Not as much physical interaction but still ended in a kiss. I scheduled a dinner/movie date at my place after expressed interest. She mentioned she might visit some friends this weekend and texted me for a raincheck. I followed up that we can figure out another time and she said that it was a date.\n\nI have occasionally sent some texts asking about things going on in her life and received either slow responses or none at all.\n\nThe dates are fantastic and appears to be very interested but interaction outside of them is limited.\n\nShould I go on some dates with others while this continues? Concerned about going on a first date with someone while a 4th with someone else.", "summary": "Great dates and interest to continue but little interaction outside of dates. Should I pursue others in the meantime? Is this the slow fade?"} {"id": "t3_3md70x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] going round in circles with [25 M] ex for a while now and I'm getting tired of loving him and him hurting me.", "post": "Me and my ex have been on and off for so long, but we always seem to come back to each other even after trying to move on with others. I love him and always have, but he's not great with his emotions and tends to run away from any problems we have and say we're not working.\n\nBut then a few weeks/months later he'll message me saying he misses me and no one else compares to me and he can't get over me. I know it sounds like your typical ex story but I don't know why I can't be strong and resist talking to him again. I've never had that problem with any other person, I'll always cut them off completely after a break up but with him it's so different. I've tried to speak to other guys and go on dates but I never feel anything.\n\nStuck in a dilemma because he fucks with my head and I don't know if what he is saying to me is the truth. Any one got any advice cause it's driving me crazy and I end up getting hurt every time.", "summary": "Ex boyfriend on and off, shit with feelings and emotions. Fed up of him fucking with my head but I still love him. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_1fberm", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "A possibly complicated speeding ticket (Missouri)", "post": "I got a speeding ticket for going 95 in a 70 in missouri on a two lane interstate. I got stopped by a state trooper who also had a ride along in the car. I also had a fake ID on me, and got nervous and hid it, but was fiddling with it, so he asked me if i had anything. I said no and he asked me to step out of the car. He told me he was going to search my car, and asked again if i had anything. I then told him that i had a fake id under the floor mat. He found it and said \"This is mine now\" but didn't write it on the ticket.", "summary": "Can I be charged for having and being caught with a fake id in a speeding ticket case since he didn't write it on the ticket?"} {"id": "t3_3q5pyb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with a girl I met [18 F] we had sex last night and I don't want to meet her again", "post": "I met this girl (18 years old) about 2 months ago and she started to chat with me (22 old boy). Every single conversation that we had, messenger, phone, texting she was the one who started. I never started a conversation, because I'm not interested in her. I couldn't image a relationship with her. My single interest was to have sex with her.\n\nLast night we went out, and she invited me into her house, we stayed in the bed, we kissed, then we had sex. At the morning I told her that I need to go to work, after that she continuously sending me text messages, she called me twice and I think that she thinks that I want to have a relationship with her or she thinks that we are already in a relationship.\n\nAs I said, I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with her because I'm not interested in her. She once asked me what if we would be together? I told her: \"you're cute, but I cannot image a relationship with you, I want to remain friends. No offence, okay?\". I couldn't tell her directly: \"Hey girl, I don't want to be with you, but let's f*ck, alright?\". I have tried to be nice with her. After that she stopped texting me, but after a while, she started again. I don't want to tell her the reality on the phone, or in a text message, I want to meet her, but I don't know when. Should I wait a couple of days, ignoring her messages, or to respond after a while, like I did before?\n\nFrom my point of view, my goal was reached, I slept with her. I thought that she wants the same, just to have sex.", "summary": "We had sex last night and she think that we're together and I don't know how and when to tell her that I don't want a relationship."} {"id": "t3_1swfjh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] recently got dumped by my [22 M] boyfriend after 4 years with no reason given... Feeling very lost!", "post": "My Boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and recently moved in together. We had been living together for about a week and everything was perfect, we never fought or anything.\n\nOn Wednesday before he left work he told me that he loved me. During the day we emailed each other at work until just around lunch time, he then came home from work and said it was over. \n\nHe never gave a good reason why he wanted to end the relationship but said that he doesn't know what he wants. I asked him two simple questions; 1: do you love me and 2: are you happy?, he answered both with a yes. \n\nI left the house and he paid me out for all the furniture we brought together. I feel very lost and confused and don't know what to think anymore. It came to me as a shock as i never expected us to break up. We were perfect together and now I'm left heart broken and confused, while he is too busy getting drunk with his mates to work out what he wants.", "summary": "I need to find closure in regards to why our relationship ended, but I don't know how to because my (ex)boyfriend is now refusing to talk to me. I fear that I may never get it from him."} {"id": "t3_1v1atl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (21 F) ex girlfriend dumped me (21 M) after being together for 2+ years. Should I be hurt?", "post": "So I got dumped from a serious relationship. It was my first one and I'm not sure if I should be hurt from it. I'm not saying I don't have feelings but I'm wondering what I should feel due to that fact that I never took it serious since I cheated on her the first year we got together. I also ended up having another girlfriend on the side on our second year that we were together. Keep in mind that this \"side chick\" I had was an old ex girlfriend of mine that my girlfriend at the time hates. That fling lasted for about 4 months. Until this day she still hates her. \n\nI didn't get caught with any of those things that I did. I believe sometime around our second or third year we had issues on a social media network. Where I got caught talking to some girls. That was the only time I got caught and she still took me back. According to her that was considered cheating. A little after that I started to question myself wether I really wanted to be in the relationship or not. \n\nI guess I was just comfortable with the relationship because the only thing that makes me sad is us not seeing each other or spending time together. Also the thought of what are future would have been together because we were suppose to be \"high school sweethearts.\" With that being said should i feel hurt or sad cause I got dumped even with everything I did in the past while we were together? Or should I just be ashamed of myself for being a dog. I would like to hear your opinions or advice.", "summary": "I was in a so called serious relationship with my ex girlfriend. While we were together I cheated on her a numerous of times. We just broke up and I was wondering what I should feel since I cheated on her without her knowing."} {"id": "t3_34d3pz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my \"GF\" [24 F] for three years, says she doesn't know what she wants.", "post": "Ok, here goes.\n\nMy \"GF\" and I have been interested in each other for about three years, the reason that I use quotes is because her parents don't really approve of us dating. (long story, trust issues and a older sibling that eloped.) \n\nI've been patient because she really is a spectacular person, and I have had no doubts that she is wife material. However I've noticed a pattern that about every 9-12 months that we have been together she comes to a crisis that normally involves severe confusion about if this relationship is what she wants and just being unable to explain her feelings in general. \n\nObviously there is a severe strain that is put on our relationship by her parents trust issues, but I am just about at my wits end about how to handle this. I can deal with her parents trust issues, but facing a time where I have no idea how she feels about me every 9-12 months is really damaging me. The past two times we have talked through it and worked it out, a lot of it goes back to her not really being open with things that are bothering her. \n\nSo what in the world is going on in her head, is she trying to tell me that she doesn't actually care enough about me to continue but is too afraid to break it off? I'm all for being patient, but I don't want to keep loving someone that doesn't actually love me back. Are there any similar situations out there? What did they look like?", "summary": "Girlfriend doesn't know if she wants a relationship, I'm confused, always worked it out in the past. What now?"} {"id": "t3_3m1qig", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21M] could use some advice on a girl (20f)", "post": "Not sure if this goes here \n\nKinda long so please bare with me \n\nI have been single for awhile now I'd say roughly 3-4 years \n\nIn high school I though I found \"the one\" we had been together all thought highs school, unfortunately life happened and she had passed from leukemia \n\nNeedless to say it messed me up I now get anxiety and shy when are females any girl I feel Is worth a chance I get discourage and back down \n\nWhile I think I may have found someone who is worth my time and I may have a chance with , I have talked to her before a few years back but I doubt she'd remember me, she constantly post stuff about how she always wants to be in a relationship and stuff couple related \n\nI just don't know how to go about talking to her, or saying the first words in general I get so nervous I just stammering \n\nCould really use help reddit \n\nThank you for listening", "summary": "My girlfriend died of leukemia in high school made me social shy, meet a girl who I think.I have a chance with, not sure how to go about talking to her"} {"id": "t3_4ua24q", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "I'm so embarrassed! Showed up, sat awkwardly watching another kid 'test' and slipped out when I realized I wasn't suppose to be there.", "post": "I told the instructor I'd see him on Saturday. Took my four year old to class this am, washed her uniform (karate) and told her we were going back to test later. Walked in early (to the small studio) with my young child. Only 2 instructors were there with a pre-teen seriously testing. I thought \"that's odd\" only the child's family was there to watch the test (for a new belt-serious stuff). I've never had her test before because we are new to the studio. So, I let my girl start to color, but had her be quiet. Almost 20 minutes later and I'm thinking \"why is this taking so long for him, why aren't they testing my kid\". I watch the boy do commands, a fitness test, three rounds of fighting and then think \"holy crap! Her test is NEXT Saturday!!!\" Oh dear. I wait till a break in his testing to not distract, and slip out with my kid.", "summary": "Sat in for half of some kid I don't know's serious karate test in a small studio with my 4 yrs. old without talking to anyone and walking out. Left everyone wondering why I was there."} {"id": "t3_up3r6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I broke \"bros before hos\", and as a result missed out on meeting a musician after a concert. Reddit, what's your bros before hos/chicks before dicks story, and did it end up working in your favor or not?", "post": "So Iron & Wine came to my town. I was planning on going with a little lady that I had been talking to. Right before the concert I was hanging nearby with my friends (who were also going to the show). As soon as I got a call from the girl to meet up, I bolted from my friends and went right to the concert with the girl. \nThe show was general admission seating, so I was about 2 rows back with the girl and when my friends got there they had all sat together at the top of that section (and were apparently yelling down to me on occasion sentiments such as \"YEAH! GET SOME!\" etc.) The show itself was great, a beautiful solo acoustic performance by Sam Beam, the lead singer of Iron & Wine. \nAfterwards, I left right away with the girl while my friends were somewhat behind. I followed the girl out to her car, and my friends turned the corner of the building. She simply says goodbye and heads home, and I keep walking that way a bit further to my car. \nI get home and the first thing I see on Facebook is pictures of all my friends that had turned the corner posed with Sam Beam. When they turned that corner, they just happened to run into him, got photos, autographs, handshakes and memorable moments for the rest of their lives. \nI got nothing, and deserved it.", "summary": "Saw Iron & Wine with a girl, shut down my bros who then met Iron & Wine while I get shut down by the girl"} {"id": "t3_24g0zd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] have been with my boyfriend [24M] for two years, starting to feel restless. How do you break up with someone that you truly love with all your heart! So confused!", "post": "Ok so, been with my partner for about two years. He probably wasnt the greatest boyfriend in the beginning - very closed off, anti-commitment etc etc, but has always been a great guy. He broke it off with me late last year, then 'realised what he lost' and came back. The past couple of months we have been back together he has been nothing short of amazing - he has really been trying hard to show me how much he loves me and how much he regrets the break up. I have a few trust issues regarding facebook messaging to other girls which he assures me is all in the past. \n\nBasically, I feel like I am missing something in the relationship. I could see us being happy together in the future but right now I can't help but feel a little bit trapped and unsatisfied. I feel like I need to be single but at the same time I love him so much that I can hardly bear to think about breaking his heart. I feel like whatever I do I could be making the biggest mistake of my life. How are you supposed to know that the person you are with now is the person you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with?", "summary": "I love my boyfriend but I've been thinking about breaking up with him and the thought scares me. WHAT DO I DO."} {"id": "t3_1isget", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[22/m] Should I end my relationship?", "post": "My Boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now and our relationship has been up and down. While we both get along very well, we also have a lot of qualities that are opposites and cause friction such as he likes for me to say I love you all the time, while I'd rather show love through actions. About a month ago we both graduated college and decided to move in together. Since graduating I've had a hard time saying goodbye to all that I achieved in college and an even harder time finding a full time job, because of this I have been feeling sad and disappointed in myself. I've been more quiet than normal and prefer to be alone. Naturally while in this situation I turn to him for comfort but rather find him telling me to suck it up, get over it and move on and that my behavior is making him want to break up with me. Whenever this happens, I always back down and tell him that I'm fine, just having a bad day and try to move on but I still feel that same way inside so I fall back into the same behavior. Two days ago, everything reached a boiling point, and we ended up in a shouting match with me calling him rude, selfish, and lacking any sense of empathy and him calling me pathetic for wanting him to comfort me. He once again said we should break up and left and is currently staying with a friend and we haven't talked since he left. I'm not sure if we should continue to be together or if there is a way we can work through this issue.", "summary": "I've been feeling depressed lately and my boyfriend tells me to get over it which has caused a lot of fighting and he thinks we should break up."} {"id": "t3_r1ofd", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the worst thing a coworker or classmate has done?", "post": "At my school, people in the Art college tended to have all the same studios together all four years, resulting in people who you see 4-8ish hours a day, 3-4 days a week for 4 years, even though you're not friends. The same phenomena happens with coworkers, where you see them enough that you're acquaintances, but not so much you'd hang out with them outside of the activity where you know them from.\n\nWhen I was about to get my BFA in Graphic Design (2010), one of the guys that I went to school with went to a Cavs game right after a portfolio show, where he shot a parking attendant twice in the stomach and once in the head over not being allowed to park his car in a handicapped space. Seeing as how I'd seen him for at least 1 class a semester (sometimes four) since 2006, I was shocked - and then realised I hadn't known him at all. I was actually way more shaken up by it than I thought I would be. (Note: He is now serving life in prison, and because he was an asshole to the family of the shooter, his judge said he would personally make sure he never made parole.)\n\nWhat are some of your \"I had no idea they were capable of that?\" stories?", "summary": "Sometimes, we don't know people as well as we think, even with being around them all the time. Classmate murdered someone right before graduation."} {"id": "t3_2usx4d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17M] crush on [17 F] barely know her", "post": "I am 17 M, I have been in this religious (only slightly) high school fraternity since freshman year (now senior). I was a very shy and ehh looking kid for most of it and really hit my prime (went from like a 4 to an 8) in the beginning of senior year.\n\nAfter freshman year my friends went out of our little chapter in a suburb and met people from the entire county area. Being shy and a not great looking a lot of those people from the rest of the region kind of discarded me and put me on the side, outgrowing those circumstances with time. I became a wanted by some of the girls who rejected my presence earlier in my puberty. I had to deal with one of them on the weekend retreat that are held, I don't like them, I don't want them.\n\nAlongside that trouble, I have met this really cute girl, Sarah (just a place holder), Sarah and I always been to similar activities during the weekend. \"by accident\". \n\nI have lead a large service so I am pretty sure she knows who I am. In one of the programs that I got to be with her for like 15 minutes with a lot of group work activities but unfortunately I didn't have the balls to have a deeper conversation. She lives 30 mins away but I found out she goes to a school that is a mile away from my house (not my school unfortunately) which is kind of perfect and want to approach a conversation but don't know how to start it or what to do. She seemed to be shy too, can be a struggle.\n\nWe have a dance coming up in a bit over month and want to ask her out to it.\n\nThank you for reading, -hatetheknown\n\n\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500", "summary": "We just met and didn't talk a lot. Just know kind of who each other are, what is the best approach to talk to her or any suggestions what I should do?"} {"id": "t3_30rl3x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (23F) confused about pictures on boyfriends (24M) computer.", "post": "I am in a relationship with this wonderful man. We are seemingly perfect together. We've talked about buying a house, marriage, kids, the future, you name it we've talked about it. \n\nOn to my problem, today he gave me his old laptop. He also told me he had to clean it up (get rid of porn ect.) that's all good and I'm really excited for the laptop. Then he mentioned he had a \"trophies\" folder full of pictures of previous sexual encounters that he needed to save on to his desktop. He did say that he never looks at them. This really struck me wrong and I'm not sure if I'm valid in this upsetting me, or if I need to just drop it.", "summary": "boyfriend told me about a folder on his computer with pictures of his exs, and I'm trying to figure out how I should feel."} {"id": "t3_xvj5k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My SO seems incapable of appreciating my perspective.", "post": "My significant other (23, female) will shortly be entering the workforce. Unfortunately this probably means moving cities. From my perspective moving cities is bad, I'm a PhD student (26, male) and moving cities not only means a completely new lifestyle away from family and friends but also away from all the support facilities, supervisors etc my university offers. I will also loose income and be reliant upon here for discretionary spending. \n\nI have tried to explain all of this to her but she seems incapable of appreciating my situation and transforms my unwillingness to move as a sign that I don't love her. I tried to explain to her the the situation isn't simply black and white like that and that I have everything right to choose my own happiness and chance for success over our relationship since she is unprepared to compromise on several issues regarding moving to a new city, despite the expectation I will drop everything for her. \n\nBasically if I don't move we will break up. \n\nI don't understand why she thinks it is okay for me to drop everything for her when she won't even make some small concessions for me. \n\nWhat can I do? Is it normal to be expected to reply everything and in the process disadvantage yourself for you SO?", "summary": "gf will probably move city in the next few months. Expects me to drop everything for her despite not being prepared to compromise on things with me."} {"id": "t3_51mi4x", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting that hot things are hot.", "post": "I should start out by telling you that I was born blonde. That being said...\nThis wasn't today but sometime last week. Just recently moved in with a friend and his wife. Friend and his wife don't really clean up too often, but like to use the dishwasher because it's convenient. Well, I go to use the dishwasher one day, open it, and this horrible stench assaults my nose. I unload everything in there, wash it by hand (one bowl three times) to remove the smell. I look in the dishwasher and see about an inch and half of standing water in the bottom. Figure, ok, let's run the dishwasher to see if it drains properly. Proceed to run dishwasher on heaviest cycle.\nCut to a few hours later. Open the dishwasher. It smells decent now. Steam fogs up my glasses. I see that all the water has drained from the dishwasher and I also see a piece of macaroni stuck in the drain. So I reach in, feel something sharp on my arm and proceed to yank my hand back out. I look... and there's a nice inch long scratch on my arm. I look back in and there's this piece of metal keeping in the rubber ring that goes around the dishwasher. I think I scratched myself.\nFive minutes later I realize that this is not a scratch and this is, in fact, a burn. A week later and I have a two inch long and half an inch wide burn that is still healing.", "summary": "OP forgot that a dishwasher coming off its drying cycle would be hot. Reached in to grab a piece of food and burned self on piece of metal."} {"id": "t3_22qa67", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My bf's ex-wife (who lives in another state) has been texting/calling/emailing him, demanding to meet up after he recently confessed to her that he had had an affair the last two years they were married. He hasn't replied. Her last text read \"I'll see you at house.\" Should he/we be concerned??", "post": "My bf was married for 24 years and got divorced a little over a year ago. One night, in a fit of moral-cleansing, he confessed to his ex-wife that he had had an affair with a co-worker the last two years they were married. She replied with a scathing email (understandably) a few days later, and my bf decided not to respond and leave it at that. \n\nIt's been about a month since her email, and now in the last few days, she has been texting/emailing/calling him, saying things like \"I think it's time we talk. You can come here, or I can come there. Which do you prefer?\" He hasn't responded because he doesn't feel comfortable meeting her face to face and thinks it's somewhat out of character for her, as he says that she was the one who refused to communicate with him during and after their divorce. \n\nShe moved away during the divorce proceedings and does not live in the state. The last text he got from her today read \"I haven't heard from you. I will see you at house.\"\n\nI'm a little scared as I live with him and don't know what she wants to accomplish? She came over unannounced once before and tried to come in through the back door, but he caught her and stopped her before she could come in. She proceeded to scream at him, demanding to know who was in the house, and that I leave, etc. He says this scared and confused him as she had never done anything like that before nor indicated she had a problem with him dating, etc.\n\nShould he/we be concerned??", "summary": "Bf's ex-wife texts him that she's coming over to his house to have a \"talk\" despite not being invited nor does she live in same state."} {"id": "t3_joe3f", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "2 of my friends were dating, one cheated and they broke up. I'm having a rough time with it.", "post": "Here's the story (we're 21/22 year old females): My friend (\"C\") since preschool started dating a girl (\"S\") that we knew from girl scout camp. S had been dating a guy, broke up with him, and they started dating on the down low about 2 years ago. I found out after the summer had ended and was shocked, but got over it. The three of us were good friends, but I'm obviously closer to C, who I've known most of my life. \n\nC and S were working together at the same camp this summer, I didn't come back this year because I had an internship. A few weeks into the summer (they've been dating for almost 2 years at this point), S says she's kind of into this other counselor and just needs some time ALONE to think about their relationship, etc. So they go on a \"brea.\" C is crushed, but goes with it. They get a weekend off, and S comes back with hickies all over her, and it comes out that she's been hooking up with this other girl. \n\nSo I hear about all this and it just hits me really hard. I'm shocked at first because I can't believe S would do something like that, then freakin pissed at S for hurting C so terribly. I almost called S and cussed her out, but stopped myself. I visited camp for a night the day after I found out. I got the whole story from C, and S had the balls to come up and say hello to me like nothing was wrong. I was relatively friendly considering the situation, but underneath I was still pretty livid. \n\nAs some time passed, I was less angry and more sad because I had lost a good friend in S and never really got a chance to hear her side of the story. But now I don't feel like I can talk to her without betraying C.\n\nSo I'm really at a loss of what to do.", "summary": "Friends dating each other, one cheats and they break up, don't know what to do about the friend I lost."} {"id": "t3_3irpfj", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Advice-Low energy impacting training", "post": "Hi runnit,\n\nI'm hoping to get some advice on working around low energy levels (from iron deficiency) that are impacting my half-marathon training. I have found articles on how low iron can impact running, and how to get more iron, but I am looking for more personal experience with how to continue training without over exhausting myself.\n\nNormal iron levels are 40-60, and about 5 months ago mine were 12 (23F if you're wondering), and now they're 32. I'm on iron supplements, but when I ran out over a month ago, there was about 3 weeks before I went on them again. Ever since I went off them initially, I've been struggling to get my energy back. My half-marathon is October 11, and this has really put a damper on my training, which was going very well before my energy was shot. After a long run of 11km, I didn't run again until 3 weeks later, and since then I have hardly been able to do 5km 3/week (for about 3 weeks now). \n\nI've already registered for the race, which will be my third half in three years, and I do still want to do it, even if my time will be much worse than the last two. Does anyone have any suggestions for how I should continue training? Should I focus more on mileage or speed, or alternate? I'm hoping my energy increases over the next month, but currently I'm finding it difficult to pull myself off the couch. I couldn't even make it to 3km today. Any advice is appreciated!!", "summary": "Low energy from low iron is throwing off my half training. Can barely run 5km 3/week. Any advice for continuing to train for race on October 11?"} {"id": "t3_556ij6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26F] lied to my boyfriend [28M] about being Amish the first time we hooked up, and now I'm trapped in the lie.", "post": "Long story short, I was very romantically/sexually inexperienced before I met my boyfriend \"Evan.\" I wasn't a virgin, but I was definitely a late bloomer and I'd only had sex twice before. I met him when I was 24 and liked him right away, but I wasn't interested in a relationship; I just really wanted to get more experience.\n\nOne night we started hooking up, but I panicked and got terrified that he'd be turned off by my obvious lack of experience. I made up a lie on the spot about how I had grown up Mennonite (not quite Amish but close) and how I had only left the church recently so I'd never had sex before. In retrospect I realize how stupid that was, but I was honestly never planning to see him again and I was just really nervous in the heat of the moment. We hooked up, it was good, and then we parted ways. \n\nAbout 5 months later I ran into him randomly and we decided to go out again. That quickly led to us dating, and me falling for him. We've been together almost 2 years now, and Evan still thinks I grew up as a super religious Mennonite. (I did grow up in a mostly Amish/Mennonite town, but my family was not religious at all.) We don't talk about my childhood much, and I think he assumes it's a painful subject. He's met my mom briefly, but she and the rest of my fam live on the other side of the country. I told him the rest of my family also left the church. \n\nSo I know this makes me a terrible person, and the moment is long passed to tell him the truth. I just really did NOT anticipate it escalating like this, and by the time I realized that I really cared about him, it was sort of too late to come clean. \n\nEvan is very easy-going and finds humor in the weirdest situations, so as naive as it may be, I'm kind of hoping that if he could understand the reason behind the initial lie, he might eventually think it was funny. Or not. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "Told my boyfriend I used to be Mennonite/Amish the first time we hooked up (out of nerves), and the lie stuck. 2 years in and I don't know how to break it to him."} {"id": "t3_27762w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (25/f) am trying to rebuild a relationship after my bf (26/m) emotionally cheated on me.", "post": "My boyfriend of 5 years went on a work-related trip to Japan for 9 days about a month and a half ago. Ever since he got back, he's been acting distant and not like himself. Two nights ago, I found out he had met a girl there and they hung out twice. He swears that they only held hands, but I am suspicious that more might have happened. He has been talking to her nearly every day since he left and I only found out because I looked at his phone (not proud of that). She wrote that she loved him, and they sent each other kissing emojis and cutesy stuff like that. They also talked about visiting each other.\n\n I freaked out and begged for him to stop talking to her. It took a lot of hesitation before he cut her off, but he did. He told me he wants to rebuild our relationship, because he has been unhappy this past year (I am a medical student and am very busy, I definitely neglected him many times in order to study). How can we rebuild this relationship? This is a person I want to spend my life with, and I have invested a lot in this relationship. How can I trust him again? I have 10 weeks off from school. I want to make this work, but I feel so betrayed and unwanted and sometimes I just want to yell at him but I'm afraid to push him away. Would you suggest couples counseling? \n\nAlso, fwiw, I fooled around with another guy in 2012 and told him about it right after it happened. We broke up for 6 months and then got back together. He still has resentment about this, but I didn't realize it until he told me when he was explaining why he was talking to this girl. How can he communicate his feelings to me better instead of seeking outside affection from someone else?", "summary": "BF of 5 years emotionally cheated on me with a girl abroad. Has been talking to her since they met (about 1.5 months now). How do we get through this and mend our relationship?"} {"id": "t3_2nzl39", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I invited two girls to the same concert. What do I do?", "post": "So I originally invited a girl, I'll call her Amy, to a concert. We had hung out a couple times and I was genuinely interested her. Well last week Amy had to cancel our plans Monday but rescheduled for last Wednesday. Come Wednesday, she said she would be over at 6:30. I waited and waited but Amy never showed up or contacted me. \n\nI sent her a text message on Thursday and didn't hear back. I didn't bother trying to talking to her Friday, because fuck that. I saw she was posting on instagram and snapchat and it kinda bothered me. \n\nSo I went out drinking with some friends Saturday, and ran into a girl I dated a couple years ago, I'll call her Katie. Turns out Katie and I hit it off well. And since I figured Amy was now old news, I invited Katie to the concert. She said yes. \n\nFast forward a couple days and I finally heard back from Amy, she apologized and said she just had a bad week. Amy and I have been texting a little bit again, but not like before. I've also been talking with Katie. Neither have said anything about the concert, it's still a couple weeks away. I'm not sure what to do. Can anybody offer some advice or anything?\n\nI realize I probably jumped the gun with considering Amy old news, but she bailed on me twice and didn't respond to me for several days. I looked like she was simply avoiding me or no longer interested. And alcohol.", "summary": "I got ditched a couple times and didn't hear from her for several days. Invited somebody else. She said yes. I finally heard back from the original girl. Invited 2 girls."} {"id": "t3_40p2ir", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [15M] can't seem to get over my friend [18M] who I've had feelings for one and off for 7 months.", "post": "This past June, I became friends with this guy, who we'll call Jim. I quickly developed a massive crush on him and ended up telling him how I felt. He was very nice about it. We both understood, though, that he's too old for me and he had feelings for another guy. He ended up dating that guy for awhile.\n\nAt the end of summer break Jim got a new boyfriend who he seemed very into. 1-2 months after that they broke because the boyfriend cheated on Jim. During this same time period I got my first boyfriend, although our relationship lasted for only a day short of three weeks.\n\nIn October (I believe) Jim got ANOTHER boyfriend and is still with him currently. The only time I felt jealousy because of him dating other guys was for a short while a few weeks ago.\n\nOver all of this time, I've had feelings cropping up for Jim every once in awhile. It's not usually strong feelings anymore, but they're still an annoyance.\n\nA couple days ago I started talking to Jim again after over a month of not having a big conversation with him. We talked my feelings over again and he feels bad. \n\nThroughout all of this I've always felt like I annoy him. I'll probably try not to talking to him much again for awhile\n\nI've tried going lengths of time without talking to Jim. I've even had my own boyfriend. I can't seem to completely shake my feelings for him. I don't think I really have any feelings for him right now, but I'm pretty sure I will again sometime. I have no idea what to do. \n\nHow do you guys think I could end this mess once and for all?", "summary": "I've had feelings on and off for a guy for the past 7 months, and I can't seem to shake the feelings off completely. What should I do to get rid of my feelings for him completely?"} {"id": "t3_3t784f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Best way for me [23 M] to get my Mum's fiancee [50's M] to realise I'm cool with their upcoming marriage.", "post": "My mum met her partner around 2 years ago and they began a relationship. I was away at university the whole time I didn't come home too much and I was fortunate enough to get an attractive job offer about 500 miles away from home. Point being I've only met this man a couple of times and by all accounts that I've heard from my family (Grandparents, sister, uncle and Mum herself) he is very good to her and they are happy together.\n\nThats all that really matters to me in this situation and I'd be happy to leave it at that. In all honesty I don't really care about their upcoming marriage and I just know that the preparation is going to involve me being in total awkward situations. Granted, these are only awkward because I'm quite apathetic to most developments and anti-social to a degree I suppose but since the announcement of their engagement he's been making big attempts to try and become my best bud in the world, which I commend him for, and my mother has been pressuring me to 'make an effort'.\n\nSo I know these sound like the ramblings of a mad person but I'm just looking to see if anybody has a way for me to try and distance myself from the lead up to the ceremony as much as possible while being respectful of my mum and her partner. I like him as much as I'd like anyone I've met a couple of times but I just want him to know its fine if he backs off. I don't want to pass my mum over like she's the deeds to a house, I don't need a new dad and I imagine he doesn't need a new son. I just want him to be aware that I am supportive while having as little to do with the whole thing as possible.", "summary": "Mum's getting married soon, future stepdad overly worried about winning me over, may be being pressured to by mum, want to make him more at ease."} {"id": "t3_2g0e6t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] Knew her from high school, but recently started dating for a month so far (Long distance relationship?) - Just speaking my mind", "post": "Hi,\nSo I started dating this Japanese-American girl that that I started to talking to again after not really keeping in contact post-high school (2012 was last time we really talked prior to dating). We started talking again when she was visiting family in Japan, and we were Skyping. She's been back for a few weeks and i've seen her like every weekend except once. She is everything I want and I am MADLY in love with her. She is also madly in love with me and we are both positive influences to each other. \n\nShe is a sophomore in college (supposed to be junior but she did a high school year in Japan) and I am a senior in college that probably will have to do an extra semester. \n\nThis isn't a question really or complaint, but we are technically \"long distance\". She lives an hour and a half away from me (in the same state still - South Carolina). There is 100% trust and we try to see each other every weekend. Would it even be considered a long distance relationship? Is long distance normal in a lot of relationships nowadays especially at my age? It really hurts me that she isn't here 24/7 but I have to accept the fact that she has a part time job and goes to a community college.\n\nShe plans on transferring to the university i'm going to (USC) when I have my extra semester. I really see myself being with her for a long time and I never want to let her go to be honest. The feeling is mutual.", "summary": "My girlfriend and I are in a \"long distance relationship\"-ish and we are madly in love. Just a small vent on how I want to stay with her forever despite this distance."} {"id": "t3_2j7n16", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] and my girlfriend [23F] have been dating for a year and a few months and things feel to be slowing down too much :/", "post": "I feel like at the start of the relationship me and her had lots of physical attraction and lots of physical contact (Massages, back scratching, more hugging, more kissing) and recently it feels like she doesn't want to do that kind of thing with me at all. \n\nSexual acts like HJ, BJ and such have very much so declined to non existent. Because she \"doesn't feel like it\" where as I am almost always more then happy to do that sort of thing for her. It also feels like all those little things that she used to do cause I felt that she did them because she loved me but now she doesn't feel like it. I love to spend time with her and love her very much but I honestly feel that she is starting to not love me anymore. \n\nI do lots of things with her, as much as I can but I feel that she is almost selfish and feels like I am a man and don't need that affection and that attention because im a guy. I'm not the most experienced with relationships but I feel like I know a good amount. I feel like I try so hard to make her happy and spend time with her but when it comes to a few things that I like or want to do, it becomes a hastle or a fuss.\n\nShe had a little bit of a tough childhood and I think she is an amazing person and she hasn't learned to show affection very well or to accept it very well so sometimes I feel like that has more then a little bit to do with some of that stuff. Maybe im over thinking and were just in a rough patch ATM but just wanted a possible different angle. I don't feel that she is a cheater and I think she is loyal but sometimes when she is texting or something she kind of hides her phone or she makes it a bigger deal if I try to peek or something. I don't know I guess.", "summary": "Me and the GF have been having a little bit of a rough patch and wanted some advice about making it better or making some decisions."} {"id": "t3_2r0q0y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [26/M] developing feelings for my very close friend [26/F] of 15 years.", "post": "Hi /r/relationships, I'll keep this as short as possible. Thanks.\n\nI've been close friends with this girl (call her *A*) since the 7th grade. We drifted apart for a couple years when she moved to the UK for school/work, but ever since her return in early 2014, we have re-kindled our friendship and have been hanging out regularly again.\n\nBackstory on me - was in a 5 year (last year was long-distance) relationship which ended in July of 2014. Call my ex-gf *B*.\n\nI've recently noticed that *A* and I have very very similar temperments and dispositions, the way we react to certain situations in life. It's uncanny, and to be honest, refreshing, since *B* and I had very different temperments which ultimately led to the end of our relationship.\n\nAlso, *A* lives, breathes, and radiates confidence. She knows exactly what she wants, when she wants it, how she wants it. In contrast, *B* self-admitted to having a handful of confidence issues (not my words, hers).\n\nI find myself **intensely** attracted to *A* - she and I spent our New Year's Eve together in a very platonic manner. I wanted to kiss her at midnight, but my respect for her, and my fear of losing a great friend/friendship and scaring her away kept me from doing so.\n\nLastly (and probably not relevant), *A* and I dated in 7th grade for a few months. Ha ha ha.\n\nWHAT DO I DO? Do I tell her? Do I not?", "summary": "Crushing on a close friend (everything my ex-gf wasn't). Don't want to lose friendship. What do?"} {"id": "t3_35p9rj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ex boyfriend [M22] took the blame for something I did. He got fired. Should I [F22] say something?", "post": "We were together for 3 years, but things weren't working out. I waited until I met someone else before I ended it, so he was pretty upset. I regret that a lot.I should have ended it a lot sooner. \n\nWhen we were in college, we talked about our dream jobs and such and we both wanted to do pretty much the same thing. That career path all started with the 2 year internship with a particular company which we both eventually got - which was really cool because there was only 45 places.\n\nAnyway, we had been doing the internship for 6 months when I broke it off with him - 5 months ago now. 3 weeks ago I stole some of the merchandise from our workplace. It was incredibly stupid. I've had a problem with stealing since I was 15. He was let go from the program not long after that. No one knew why. Yesterday I was in the break room just chatting with my boss and she let it slip that he stole merchandise. I know that he would never do that, but why would he take the blame? I honestly didn't know that my boss or my ex knew anything at all. If he took the blame for me why wouldn't he say something?\n\nI'm not sure what to do now. I don't have the merchandise anymore. Should I tell my boss that it was really me? If I did I don't think he'd get the internship position back - my boss never liked him. I feel bad, but he did decide to take the blame, so should I respect that?", "summary": "I stole from my workplace. Unbeknownst to me until yesterday, he took the blame for me. Should I tell my boss or just leave it alone?"} {"id": "t3_2gtwci", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17F] with my BF [17 M] of 2.5 years, wants us to move in together after we graduate highschool.", "post": "This is my first post, I am so confused need help.\n\nI have been dating my boyfriend for two years (three in december). Since about a year into our relationship, he began to talk about moving in together. Me, being very much in love with him, wholeheartedly agreed on this plan. We talked about how great it would be, and he has even talked to his parents about it and they are all for helping us pay for an apartment.\n\nNow that graduation is getting closer and I am beginning to send in college applications, I am realizing that I am not ready to be living with a SO at 18. \n\nBut I am so in love with this man. I have dreams about making a house with him, getting married and having children with him. He has met my family and they love him. I can completely see him as a life-time partner.\n\nI know I am 17, and young and stupid, but I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.\n\nPlease don't criticize me for my age, I really need help.", "summary": "I am 17 and told my boyfriend I would move in with him when we were both 18. I am now realizing I'm not ready for this and I don't know how to tell him."} {"id": "t3_23busk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my gf [23 F] 4 months of proper relationship after which one year of abusive on and off", "post": "I have been depressed for an year. Have had panic attacks when she told me she likes someone else (her ex actually). I was broken. I still am very very anxious. But I am trying this thing that everybody keeps telling me about , No Contact. Maybe it will help. But I am finding it very difficult to do anything substantial and productive with my time. I try to do stuff but I just fail miserably. Can any of you guys suggest something ? A book or a TV show maybe that I can watch . Something that is so engrossing that I won't have anytime to think about her ? \n\nOr should I just mope and cry and grief about how unlucky I have been to loose her. I need to get out of this very very dearly. If she was single right now, it would have been very easy for me. But the fact that she is seeing her ex just makes me go crazy you know. It makes me jealous and makes me feel that I did something wrong. \n\nPlease note that I was always very supportive of her. I helped her in her times of crisis. Of course both sides of the story should be heard. But until my recovery , can you guys please assume that she is the bad person ? \n\nLooking forward to hearing from you guys.", "summary": "Trying to break out of the habit . No contact is what I am relying right now and it is day 6 of no contact ! Need some cheers"} {"id": "t3_3zc85z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [14/F] with my mom [50F] duration, she asks me to things that are LITERALLY impossible and then gets mad when I can't do them?", "post": "Hi.\n\nI live with my mom and sister, my brothers are at university. My parents are getting divorced, and my dad doesn't want to see me anymore.\n\nSo, my mom is really stressed. I don't let a lot of what she does bother me. However, she's started doing something lately and I'd like some advice.\n\nMy mom will ask me to do things I LITERALLY cannot do. For example: delete an app from her iPad. However, the parental controls on it won't let me. When I told her this, I got yelled st. She always goes, \"WHY IS IT ALWAYS A DISCUSSION WITH YOU?\". She hates it whenever I disagree with her.\n\nThis happens once or twice a day. Today, she wanted me to add more stuff to the dishwasher. It was already running, and it was full. Still, I tried to add some more. When I told her it didn't fit, she told me to stop disagreeing with her constantly. Help?", "summary": "my mom asks me to do things that are impossible. She yells at me when I can't do them or tell her I can't. How do I calm"} {"id": "t3_yee53", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My wife said I should have dug through a bin of wet gym towels to find my Speedo that I mistakenly tossed in there", "post": "So, at the gym today in the men's locker room, I had my Speedo wrapped in a towel to dry when I tossed in the very large bin of used towels. 2 minutes later i realized what i did, but by that time at least 5 other guys had thrown their towels into the bin... and the bin was already about half full. There was no way that I was going to go digging through dozens of wet or sweaty towels that have been on the floor, on random genitals, and on strange ass bits.\n\nSo I told my wife this story expecting a laugh and she looked at me incredulously because I DIDN'T go digging through the nasty heap towels. Then she started talking down to me like I was an paranoid germaphobe who was being completely unreasonable. Whaaaa?\n\nI told her that you could get fungus, warts, staph and a whole strain of other infections from this sort thing and she just told me that I should wash my hands afterwards.\n\nAm I wrong? Should I have dug through a bin of used gym towels to find my stupid swimsuit?", "summary": "My wife thought that I was being a germaphobe because I wouldn't dig though a heap of used gym towels to find my swimsuit."} {"id": "t3_p3qoc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "New relationship, I want to get married and start a family and don't want to waste time with someone who doesn't. Too soon to ask?", "post": "I am a 31 year old women dating a man just a few years older than myself. We have been together about 5 months. Getting him to admit it was a relationship was like pulling teeth. This was partly because of past failed relationships, and he wanted to make sure it was the real thing before committing to anything. This part I understand and respect.\n\nAll in all I'd say our relationship is great. We enjoy each others company, we care for each other, and work through things as best we can. It's awesome.\n\nThings is: I'm in my thirties and I am TERRIFIED that I won't be able to have children if I wait too much longer. A family is VERY important to me. He has mentioned that he wants children...someday....but right now he is over the top paranoid of getting me pregnant. I don't think he's completely out of line. We haven't been together too terribly long, we don't live together...etc. \n\nSo two questions: \n\n1. Is it too early in our relationship to even bring it up? I don't want to freak him out but i do want to know if he sees that in our future. I don't necessarily need to know that NOW... I just don't want to find out down the road and feel I've wasted years of fertility.\n\n2. For you mothers of reddit. Am I just stressing myself out? Am I too young to feel worried at this point or should I be genuinely concerned? I seem to keep coming across studies that say it's hard/and or/unhealthy to have children at this age. \n\nI love this guy and I am not the type to trick a guy into fatherhood. I have looked into insemination and am completely aware that may mean loosing him as I am sure he doesn't want to be involved raising a kid that isn't his. I know that if I did get pregnant he would be responsible and there for me. But he wants it to be a planned thing and I respect that....I am just afraid I don't have much time left.", "summary": "I'm a woman in my 30's in a new relationship. I want a family and don't want to waste time dating someone who doesn't feel the same but I think it may be too soon to bring it up."} {"id": "t3_44bng4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] with ex[20M] dated 3 months, not seen in a month, hung out last night and slept together", "post": "So I dated this guy from September up until just after the New Year, at which point he said he didn't want to be with anyone currently and wanted to remain as friends.\n\nHe was at a loose end last night and wanted some company, so went to his, had several drinks and listened to music, chatted about life etc. There was playful flirting but both knew it wasn't intended to be anything more, at least until he kissed me. Said it was a mistake and apologised. Went back to music and talking about stuff, being how you'd expect friends to be.\n\nCouple hours later, figured it was time to sleep, so got into bed. He said \"I don't want to hurt you\", and then we kissed and he said he'd missed me. Had sex, fell asleep cuddling etc. Had sex again this morning, more cuddling and kissing and saying we'd missed each other.\n\nThen as I leave, he says the sleeping together won't happen again, but that he did enjoy seeing me. I'm still not over my feelings for him from when we were dating (and he knows how I felt/feel about him).", "summary": "Ended up sleeping with a guy I dated and have strong feelings for, he said he missed me etc but now says it won't happen again. He's not the type to do \"booty calls\", but was this just that?"} {"id": "t3_4qny1a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18/F] little sister [11/f] still shares a bed with my mother and cries whenever they're apart for too long", "post": "Because we're a large family, my sister (Sara) didn't have a room of her own until she was 7. Then once my brother moved out, she moved all of her things into his room but was unable to sleep there ever and used it more as a playroom.\n\nAt 11, she's one year away from entering high school and it's officially weird. She's embarrassed for anyone to know, when friends and my siblings SO's come and stay with us she asks us to pretend she doesnt always sleep with mum etc etc, so she realises it's not normal. But she's unwilling to move. The other night my mum came and slept in my room cos my dad was snoring, the next morning Sara woke up upset to find her gone. \n\nMy mum sometimes goes away on trips as well. On the occasions she did, Sara asked my dad to sleep with her instead. When mum just went away for a day trip, home the same night, Sara told me she missed mum a lot. Just now I heard Sara imploring my mum to quit her job just for a little bit so that she'd see her more on summer holiday. She left the rooms in tears when my mum said no. When me or my siblings get in an argument with mum, Sara often jumps to mum's defense, she once even swore (she never does this) because she was so angry at my sister for shouting at mum.\n\nIt's insane. We've all spoken to our mother about this and she agrees with us that she has to do something but never does. No matter how we tell her. I'm starting to worry as I see that Sara has friends but doesn't seem to see them outside school and seems to spend all her time doing activities with mum when at her age I was always hanging with my friends. And she seems so oversensitive. It's good to be close to your mother but this just seems to be stunting her so much and nothing is getting through to either of them!\n\nIs this totally weird? Has anyone else heard of this level of dependence in an 11 year old? Is it too late to put a stop to this?", "summary": "my little sister can hardly function without my mother, is soon headed into highschool where I fear this will get in the way of her emotional development"} {"id": "t3_410m0b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [33F] with [35M] when fighting leads to lack of sex", "post": "I'm more looking for male input and point of view here, (although female welcome too!)\n\nA little backstory, I'm 33, boyfriend is 35, we've been together almost a year now and he just moved in with me. I guess in general I'm more sexual than he is, but when we have an argument, he is literally INSTANTLY turned off and has zero interest in sex. I understand when you're pissed at someone it's hard to have those feelings, but maybe I'm just weird; I think sometimes it's fun to have makeup sex, and I don't get as mentally affected by an argument. We've never had actual make up sex, not ever. He gets so mentally affected by fighting that he has no interest and it could last for a few days at a time too, even after the argument.\n\nThis wouldn't be too perplexing to me, except the fact that even when we do have arguments, I know he jerks off, even when he is turned off from having sex. \n\nIs this just normal male protocol? Get pissed at GF, get mentally turned off from sex, go play with yourself? Maybe I'm the weirdo?", "summary": "BF gets completely turned off from sex if we have an argument, still jerks off, basically he can go without actual sex for much longer than I can. Wondering if this is how it is for guys."} {"id": "t3_1b6eqc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Long distance relationship of 4 months [19m] with [16m] says I'm not dominant enough", "post": "We met online playing video games and we kept talking and one thing just led to the next and we started skyping everyday. He (the 16 year old) was originally the one to say \"I love you\" and started talking seriously about the relationship and meeting up together and living together potentially in the future when he finished high school. Things were going really great I was really happy and finally looking forward to the future, he made a lot of hints of us living together like far off in the future and I thought we had this really great thing going, we talked on cam everyday and played games and watched TV shows and movies together.\n\nThen 2 days ago he tells me that I'm a pushover, I take time to think about it and realize he's kind of right, we never really fought I've always been frightened of him leaving me so I never really disagree with him and I don't really make decisions I always say \"I don't care\" or \"you decide.\" I just don't really know how to express myself, I'm fairly apathetic to most things. Then yesterday he tells me that he thinks our relationship might not last if I continue to be so unpassionate, unmotivated and not the \"dominant guy he'd like.\" He said that anything can happen and he still wants to be with me now but he might not forever even if I did change because \"everything is up to chance.\" I feel like he already broke up with me, I cried a bit and threw up.\n\nBefore this relationship I always thought myself as fairly dominant around my friends but I've always been a quiet introvert in large groups of people but I still have an aggressive side. Also I'm not a stereotypical gay guy either, like if you knew me you wouldn't have any idea that I was, he on the other hand is more effeminate and he has a fairly big ego and a rather large personality. I'm really afraid of losing him I just don't know what to do.", "summary": "I'm a pushover and my boyfriend said he thinks I should be more dominant and I don't know how and am afraid he'll leave me anyways"} {"id": "t3_3cxxlo", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Moving into a semi management job, need advice", "post": "So I've worked with my company for almost 3 years, I've become a \"go-to guy\" for problems and now I'm currently on path to become a lead within my department. It's only a dollar raise and it's double the responsibility. The money matters to me but what matters most is the experience. I consider this new job a semi manager job because I do everything a normal manager does i. e. Managing over 15 people for 8 hours, giving feedback, developing the associates, presenting meetings with other managers. However I still have to do the work that normal associates do. For my case this is a car dealership so I have to manage my team while still cleaning cars and getting look down on by other departments. So my question is, is it worth it?", "summary": "getting into a manager role but it's only a dollar raise and twice the work while still kind of having to be the companies bitch, is it worth the \"manager\" experience?"} {"id": "t3_29ifs2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24M] broke up with her [29f] of 1.5 years. That was a month ago. And I'm miserable", "post": "I broke up with her due to ongoing trust issues which culminated in a lie she held up for the duration of our relationship over a past fling. The past is the past, but she kept him as a friend. I was upset she lied to me for so long and reluctantly ended our relationship. We were both devastated. \n\n--\n\nShe has been begging for me back, and I really want to take her back. We haven't spoken in about a week, after about a month of noncommittal contact from her really trying to get us back together. \n\n--\n\nI really am upset about it. I loved her. It wasn't always easy, but there were definitely way more good times than bad. I want to forgive her. I want to try again. The majority of my close friends/family say I should take more time and find someone new. Some friends think I should hook up real soon to help get over her. \n\n--\n\nThing is I don't want to get over her. I know what we had was mutually loved. I know she is remorseful and sincere in her apology. \n\nI guess I'm curious if anyone has had a similar experience. If anyone has forgiven and succeeded. Forgiven and failed. Forgiven and regretted. My gut tells me to stay and forgive because it can truly be good. But I'm a romantic.... And I'm worried I'm being naive.", "summary": "I broke up with gf over an ongoing lie following trust issues and insecurities felt by both of us. I want to forgive. I'm asking for anyone's experience/story with a similar situation. And anonymous advice"} {"id": "t3_1auw2t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[21] SO and her friend have a habit of going home with guys", "post": "Me[21] and my SO[21] are in a long distance relationship that works out very well. We have been madly in love for around a year now and visit each other as much as physically possible (Very LDR). \nShe has always been the type to have more guy friends than girlfriends and i've never had jealousy over that, as we are both pretty laid back. The problem recently is my SO and her best friend tend to go to shows / bars and then some how end up back at people (normally guys) houses. Before the obvious ''she is cheating on you'' comes around, I can wholeheartedly say I trust her with my life and know she would never cheat on me. Last night she went to a show and the same thing happened, I woke up to a message, ''we went back to some people's house after the show, they were nice though!'' and it annoyed me a lot, and i'm not sure why. \nWhen I was last over visiting she mentioned if her ''new friends'' would be out (she hadn;t remembered there names(2 guys her and her friend dont seem to know to well but go and chill with sometimes (they smoke them out))). Upon saying this, her flatmate asked ''do they know about'' and pointed to me while I wasn't really looking. Too which my SO replied ''I don't know, I don't know when I would have ever really said''. \nThis all sounds very dodgy and maybe it's just my head painting it in that light, but she is a very transparent person and like I said, I whole heatedly trust her.\nMy only confusion is in my country, to go back with some people (girls for my case) I met at a show, that would mean a lot of back and forth chatting while out, and a lot of suggestion towards something sexual. Maybe it is very different in America? I'm really not too sure. \nI'm confused as to whether me hurting and being angry is me misdirecting new insecurities now we are in a serious relationship or if I have a right to be annoyed.", "summary": "SO and friend always wind up back at peoples houses after being out (normally guys), I'm confused as to what I'm feeling "} {"id": "t3_1pwua4", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Ever think it's worth just being friends with your crush?", "post": "This is a situation that has been all at once revealing and depressing.\n\nI met a girl at work (not preferable, but whatever) who wants to hang out a lot. I mean, maybe three-times-a-week a lot. Like I spend most weekends with her, at least two nights. When we're at work, we're G-chatting, and at home, she's texting the fuck outta me.\n\nNow often, it's with her and her friend (whom she plays music with) or just her. I'm really digging this girl; she's stunningly beautiful, a talented musician and seems to appreciate me for who I am. We get along great and have much in common. Suffice it to say, I'm thinking she's absolutely into me, and I'm pumped.\n\nThen, I find out she's dating this girl by them kissing on the lips right in front of me. After that, I started putting it together in my mind, but at that time, I had no clue.\n\nI've never run into this situation before. At the expense of sounding ignorant (I suppose I am in this regard), the girl I'm into is FAR more attractive than her girlfriend. And while I still enjoy hanging out with her (even both of them, in general) it's starting to wear me down.\n\nIn the past, I've been more likely to just write a girl off for rejecting me, but she didn't actually reject me. I want to be a person who can remain friends with people after a crush, I want to have a larger group of friends. But it's torturous to go home after hanging out with her or them with the same feeling: pure jealousy and bitterness.", "summary": "I'm crushing hard on this girl who's in a relationship with another girl, but she wants to hang out a lot. It's eroding me emotionally."} {"id": "t3_35tqc5", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "My caterer/event planner is buying all my DIY (rave!)", "post": "So my caterer is also an event planner who is expanding his business to do all inclusive weddings (not juts catering and day of coordination but decor/linens etc.). My mom used to be in the wedding industry (owned a shoe and halo design company that designed for Nina) and my dad owns a construction company and is also in the theater world so my wedding has a lot of (let's call them) unique DIY projects. We built a lemonade stand which will be there when guests arrive, a \"general store\" for our favors, we collected 175 vintage mismatched plates, build a giant arch to get married under, took old doors and built an entrance for our outdoor ceremony, created a giant jenga game along with some other not so typical wedding projects. Our caterer saw them all (he is storing them until the wedding for us) and he asked to purchase them after the wedding! He offered us almost triple the money of what they cost build/collect (he knows this we're not scamming him). He also offered my mom and I a planning gig when we are done with mine so that we can continue to help plan for others (I work full time 2.5 hours away but my mom is super excited to make extra cash continuing in the planning fun). I am so excited!", "summary": "Caterer expanding business, buying the stuff we made, we won't end up breaking even or anything (by like 20,000$) but it will offset some costs!"} {"id": "t3_2coj8w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of over a year, I broke up with her 4 days ago, feeling regret", "post": "I won't try to make this too long. I was with a girl for about 16 months, and I'd say we had a pretty healthy relationship the whole time. I could tell she always gave 100% to the relationship and would have done anything for me. She is sweet, hot, funny, and very outgoing. \n\nAbout 10-12 months in, however, I couldn't help but feel like things just weren't connecting between us like they used to; I didn't feel the way I thought I SHOULD feel with such a great girl. Sometimes things with her would be great, but a lot of the time I would find myself wanting to be alone more than wanting to spend time with her--basically just plain disinterest. These thoughts would come and go until they came to a head last week. I decided it was best we end things. She told me she would have worked it out, but I didn't want to string her along when I was so confused with my feelings. \n\nWe haven't spoken since. I realize it is only 4 days out, but I am terrified that ending such an overall great relationship without working through things was the worst decision of my life. I am conflicted between telling her how I feel now while there's still a chance for her to return, or waiting and possibly missing that chance. I can't tell if this is a case of the normal post-breakup regret, or if I just didn't know what I had until is was gone. \n\nAny input/stories of your experience with post-breakup regret would be much appreciated.", "summary": "Broke up with long term girlfriend because of my little desire to put in effort, worried I will regret it. Need advice."} {"id": "t3_1vnpxn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my friend [20 F], her attachment issues.", "post": "To put it bluntly, my good friend of four years has somewhat of an attachment problem with those she's been in a relationship with. \nShe's still missing a guy she dated over a year ago, along with two others she'd dating in-between then and now, and it just sucks seeing her down in the dumps about it instead of flourishing and finding someone better. I wish it was as simple as telling her she needs to move on, but it is not. \n\nSo I guess what I'm really asking here is, how should one deal with overattachment? I don't expect there's a simple fix, but is there any sort of wonderful advice I could send her way? I'd appreciate it.\n\nApologies if this is the wrong place to post this.", "summary": "My friend sucks at getting over romantic partners and I don't know how best to help her with it. Any advice/comments would be appreciated."} {"id": "t3_1rrboh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with my short term boyfriend [27 M] have been dating 5 months and I want to break it off...", "post": "So, back in August a friend of mine asked me out on the terms that at some point we were going to break up. Mainly because neither of us were looking for a serious relationship and wanted something temporary to at the least have a little company now and then. Lately I have been feeling like the charm of this relationship is wearing off and I would like to part ways as \"lovers\". However, I am unsure as how to broach the subject with out it coming off as shitty.\n------\n The complicated part is that my ex whom I dated for 5 years brought up the subject of working things out. ( He and I remained very close friends though out the 2 year since our breakup. And yes, the current knows about him and our history...) While I am hesitant to make any plans with my ex, I don't want this to come off as I am specifically leaving my current for my ex.", "summary": "I want to break up with my current bf because I feel like 5 months is long enough in a S.T.R., but don't want him to get mad thinking its b/c of my ex."} {"id": "t3_29wuha", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by shitting my pants while getting my teeth cleaned", "post": "This happened on Wednesday fellow redditors, you time constraining fucks. \nHad my 6 month cleaning at the dentist today. Right before I left my apartment I realize I had to shit but I was running late, I could not afford to reschedule my appointment again (already rescheduled it twice before). \n\nSo here I am, prairie dogging on the car ride there. I want to shit so bad but I have a fear of shitting in public places (my dumbass). I hold it until they call my name to go get my teeth cleaned. \n\nSo, I'm getting my teeth scraped by the metal pokey tooth of death. I'm clenching my asscheeks trying to withhold my shit of a thousand suns. Suddenly I get this big burning pain sensation in my stomach, I realized I had a bowl of cereal before I left, I'm lactose intolerant. Fuck me in my poopy ass.\n\nI had this big urging need to shit all of the sudden, and let out this massive fart/shit that smelled like rotten milk and eggs. I immediately clench and lift my head upwards in agonizing embarrassment. Bad choice.\n\nThe pointy park of the metal tool of death was still in my mouth, when I shot up clenching my shitty ass, it penetrated my gums in the back of my mouth and hung there like a fucking fish hook. I was a fucking fish.\n\nI pulled it out and my dental assistant lady ran out of the room looking for a first aid kit.\n\nThere I was in my glory, bleeding mouth with shit pants running to the bathroom. I lock the door and shit my ever loving brains out. The sweet sweet relief.\n\nI came out of the bathroom looking like a fucking cannibal shitter who smelled like farts and ass.\n\nI left without finishing my cleaning. Needless to say I will be getting mg a new dentist.", "summary": "Went for routine cleaning needing to shit, shit pants during cleaning ended up hooking my mouth with the pointy tool of death."} {"id": "t3_1qp7kt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18] with my crush [16F] Should I delete her from Facebook?", "post": "So I've had a crush on an exchange student in my school for the past 6 months. We never really talked that much but we had short conversations sometimes. Saying hi and such. I had a feeling she liked me becouse she kept liking my facebook pictures and statuses and when I saw her looking at me she quickly looked down. I just had this feeling. But for the past weeks she did not speak at all to me or look at me. So I said fuck it. If she doesnt show interest I wont either. So we began ignoring each other I guess. Suddenly yesterday she liked my picture again and today I found out she is going back to her country. She said goodbye to everyone in class except me while in the corridor... I'm so confused if she liked me or not ... so I'm asking. Should I delete her facebook since I won't ever see her again anyways? Or should I type to her or something ? I don't know ...", "summary": "My exchange student crush went back home , she didn't say goodbye. Should I delete her facebook in order to forget her?"} {"id": "t3_390h29", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being really forgetful", "post": "This happened this morning. So.. It's definitely a TIFU.\n\nI just started this job last week. I'm still new but today, my first big FU happened. Our company has an online portal for making payments and every morning, I have to log into the portal to download the payments made for the past day. \n\nHere comes the FU. As of last Friday, the password for the login expired and I changed it this morning when I first logged in. As with most websites that requires you to the change the password, they log me out and required me to log back in using the new password. BUT I FORGOT THE PASSWORD! I literally typed in the new password 5 seconds before they logged me out. \n\nOf course, I tried to resolve it by calling up the vendor and ask for the password but the damage was done. I was 5 hours late in submitting the report to the relevant department and now they are working overtime because of my failing memory. \n\nI could have sworn that it was the password I changed to! I aced memory tests! I am really good at remembering things. \n\nAnyway, they didn't blame me because my colleague covered it up for me and blamed the vendor instead. \n\nMy FU really caused a lot of trouble.", "summary": "Password expired, I changed it. 5 seconds later, my brain decided that the password wasn't important. It resulted in my co-workers in another department to work overtime."} {"id": "t3_2hlqqf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16/F] feel alone.", "post": "A bit of a back story is that people don't like me. Not sure why. I think I just have that kind of attitude that people don't like. I'm very sarcastic and witty and I like rock music and I even had a buzzcut at some point. It could be a mix of all three or even more.\n\nI used to go to public school but now I don't anymore. I haven't graduated my last grade yet due to the fact I'm just depressed. I have a best friend but we only talk once a week at most. It's my fault because I'm just too sad to talk to her. She sometimes leaves me messages and asks where I've been and I do get around to them but I guess I'm addicted to sleeping.\n\nI also feel like I'm ready for my first relationship (somewhat) even though I also feel as if I'm not. It's like the fact that no guy in real life has ever reached out to me. Feeling like it's appearance wise too. I don't think I'm *that* ugly but... I'm not a natural beauty and makeup doesn't fit me. There's no way I can hang out with people or meet people. Where would people my age meet others? It's frustrating to me. I've been sitting in this house for almost a year now and losing hope.\n\nIt sucks having no friends and feeling not worthy of anyone's love. Can someone even help me feel better?", "summary": "Self confidence issues, makeup doesn't fit me. No friends, never had a boyfriend. Online school, no job. Help."} {"id": "t3_gubz7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I badly hurt my friend and now I don't know what to do.", "post": "I betrayed my very close friend's trust.\n\nShe told me a lot of private things, and I told some of them to somebody else who I shouldn't have. Which interfered with her plans towards that person, who is my good friend. I patched things up with them the best way I could (made things the way she wanted), but I don't think it's enough. And given her issues with trust, to make the matter worse, I was always the one telling her she can (and should) trust me.\n\nWe've known each other for almost a year, she's the closest person I know and now I'm afraid I ruined everything and that I might lose her. Even though she says she's not mad at me and that she understands that I didn't mean to hurt her, every conversation we had since then (yesterday) has been tenseful and detached. I value her and her opinion of me very much and it's painful to think that it may never be the same again.\n\nI am perfectly aware that it's completely my fault, but is there anything I can do to fix this?", "summary": "Told my closest person's personal shit to somebody else and now I want to know if I can earn their trust back."} {"id": "t3_52k6rv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24m] am worried about my mom [50F] upcoming 50th birthday and not having any celebration", "post": "My mom is turning 50, but she has no money to put together a celebration and neither do I. \n\nCause of severe migraines(?) she is out of work indefinetly and have been for many years, this causes her to spend alot of time solo and not seeing her friends that much.\n\nShe is really sad that her cousin is havng a big 50th celebration because she can afford it, and my mom cannot.\n\nI really feel I should do something, but there is no way I can afford anything either, I've been thinking about taking her out for dinner, but that would remove the big celebration wich is standard here in Norway (I think), I've also been thinking about doing something with her friends I can find on facebook, but then the money issue arises and I cant ask them to pay for my moms birthday (mom would also be mad) \n\nAny tips and/or tricks, guys?", "summary": "mom turning 50th, but she cant afford to celebrate, making her sad, making me sad, making me want to do something"} {"id": "t3_3fpgao", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do you overcome self consciousness after a breakup or constant failure with relationships? [25m]", "post": "Hi Reddit.\n\nI recently fell deeply for a girl who I really thought was the right one for me. Everything was fine and dandy but our relationship eventually took a turn once we realized that there were incompatibility issues. Only a short time period after she eventually found someone new and that struck an ugly chord towards my self confidence.\n\nWhile I've accepted that we were incompatible, I can't help but amplify my self awareness of my own flaws. Was I too serious about our relationship? Was I too demanding relative to her own limitations? Was I too insecure, therefore not self confident enough which ultimately makes me unattractive? Was I too cheesy? \n\nAnd my friends will encourage me saying \"she just wasn't right for you\" or \"you deserve better.\" But in my heart I feel that I don't deserve better and that there's something fundamentally wrong with me. I start thinking if only I had done this or that better, everything would've worked out - but now she's with another person who can provide that for her. Who is in other words, relative to the context, \"better than me\". \n\nIt's discouraging because I've never officially had a girlfriend before. I've only fallen for a select few girls in the past which never went beyond casual dating. I've never had a significant other really go out of there way for me. And the more I see other guys swooping up girls that once meant a lot to me, the more I beat myself up.\n\nBut I know and keep telling myself that I need to love myself or at least be confident with who I am and what I want to overcome this. Yet, why am I still recognizing these flaws when I should try not to? \n\nSorry, I guess I'm not really asking for a specific question - but would love any insights or even sympathy right now. Cheers.", "summary": "I feel extremely self conscious about my own flaws and abilities after I find out an ex is dating someone else. Been happening for years across multiple girls - trying to find the right mindset to be at ease with myself."} {"id": "t3_2wqjex", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] am feeling ignored by my bf [28] of 4 years, after we moved in with my mother.", "post": "We moved in about a month ago because we have a baby due in July and wanted to save money/have the baby surrounded by family. (My mother, her bf, two younger sisters and a brother live there together)\n\nMy bf hasn't had family he enjoyed being around in a long time, and has always wanted a big family, so he was super stoked to move here. \n\nHe gets along great with my family, thoroughly enjoys their company. But.... \n\nI feel like myself and the baby have been put on the back burner. He isn't talking about the baby as much, we don't spend any time together- just the two of us, unless it's ridiculously late and we are going to bed. \n\nAlmost all of my attempts at intimacy have been shot down, because he just hasn't been in the mood, which would be fine if I didn't feel like he doesn't want to go off with me because he's worried he will miss out on fun family time. \n\nI already told him I've felt a little neglected, like he was too busy to hang out with me. He said \"I haven't been ignoring you, we just haven't wanted to do the same things.\" Which I guess is true. \n\nI know I've pulled back some from group activities (mostly because I'm STILL in retrograde with Mercury) because I've been feeling fairly negative lately. (If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all,etc) \n\nI assume that once the \"new\" wears off he will want to spend more time alone with me. I don't really know if I can approach him again about this, because he isn't really doing anything \"wrong\". \n\nHe isn't doing anything *wrong*, right? Am I being too sensitive? Should I just suck it up and wait it out?", "summary": "Bf would rather spend all his spare time with my family and shows close to no interest in spending alone time with me, hasn't seemed interested in our baby, due in July."} {"id": "t3_lhl7q", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I met an awesome girl the other day but managed to come off as a complete asshole unintentionally. I'm texting her but she clearly does not want to see me again. What can I do?", "post": "I met her through a friend in a drinking setting. I thought she was very cute and almost too perfect for my style. I immediately liked her personality and talked and what not. BUT, that night I was extremely tired and the alcohol was hitting me harder than normal and wasn't myself. And apparently I made her mad and disrespected her with things that I said, (which were jokes in my view) and left mad. \n\nBut I had gotten her messenger ID (not phone number) and said I think I came off as an asshole the next day (Since even my friend bitched to me about it). She said it's okay, etc but clearly, not happy.\n\nAlso just by how she's replying back I can tell she doesn't really want to talk to me... (Like you know when the other party wants to stop talking)\n\nThis makes me sad in TWO factors because, one, I am generally a nice guy and most definitely NOT an asshole. Two, I like her and I definitely saw potential in getting further. But I blew it like an idiot. \n\nAnd I even found her on facebook like a normal redditor can and I'm not sure if I should friend her. (I didn't, and probably won't until I meet her again)\n\nDo I need to stop talking to her via online messenger? (because she clearly isn't happy) or should I just keep going? (as in getting her to finally meet me) What do you girls think? Did I screw it up from the beginning and it's a no go?\n\nI am willing to pursue because I feel like she's worth it.", "summary": "I fucked up my first impression real bad and trying to get her to meet me again but she doesn't want to. Do I keep trying?"} {"id": "t3_14z4v5", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "I need advice on a violent cat situation.", "post": "I just moved in with my boyfriend. I have two cats and he has one. His cat has been incredibly violent towards both people and other cats his entire life (he's about 6 or 7). Even after five months I can't even pet the cat, let's call him J, let alone pick him up. A couple weeks ago J attacked my 11-year-old, 7 lb female cat. She was fine, but had a decent chunk taken out of her ear. He follows her around and corners her constantly. This morning I found her with a 2\" gash on the inside of her front leg, so deep you could see the insides of her leg. This cause many stitches and an expensive vet bill.\n\nMy boyfriend does love this cat, and the cat does love him, but he understands that we can't keep J in this situation. We don't want to put him down, but I know that no one would take in this violent of a cat. If we gave it to the humane society they would quickly put him down because I know he would attack a person or another animal if he were in a situation where he had to interact with them. Her wound was caused by his teeth. Before I thought the issue might be fixed with declawing, but now that won't work.\n\nMy question is, what should we do? Has anyone had an incredibly successful experience with products like Feliway? Has anyone went through a similar situation? Any advice would be helpful.", "summary": "My boyfriend's cat is incredibly violent and is attacking my older, sweet, female cat. Advice would be great. Thanks."} {"id": "t3_vfecq", "subreddit": "books", "title": "I havent read a book in ages, I need a recommendation.", "post": "I have never been a big reader, but now it is summer and I have a lot of time on my hands and I really want to get back into it. Here is some background. The only books Ive ever read for pleasure were Harry Potter and some other kids/young adult books when I was young. Most recently I read the Hunger Games just so I could get back into a reading habit.\n\nWhat Im looking for is something to move past the young adult level, I want something with a little more depth to it, something I can sink my teeth into, that will make me think but also not bore me to death (I am easily distracted). In high school my favorite classics taught in class were *A Farewell to Arms*, *A Tale of Two Cities*, and *To Kill a Mockingbird*.\n\nIm not necessarily looking for more classics, although if there is one you recommend please share. I've heard much about The Dark Tower series, thats currently what Im considering the most right now, any opinions? Basically the main criteria is that I want something INTERESTING and not too difficult.", "summary": "please recommend a book that is interesting and not too difficult, but has depth to it and moves beyond the young adult genre."} {"id": "t3_4vy25x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16 M] am clueless on how to make true friends", "post": "I know this probably has a straightforward kind of answer for some people judging by the title, but let me elaborate. \n\nI'm 16, skinny, tall, have some pretty unconventional interests, and I'm super shy. I find nothing really special about myself, I don't think I'm good looking at all, and I hate my shy and at times two sided personality. I have fits of anger at the slightest things, and I have a hard time controlling it. Oh, and I recently got out of a breakup, but that's later on. \n\nI've made \"friends\" throughout school (people I talk to only when school is in) but I've only really made true connections with one person, who is now my ex. We dated for about a year and a half. We broke up in May (right before school let out) and she got together with one of my friends. I've got absolutely nothing to do all summer. I don't have any real friends I talk to regularly to help me get over it, or to take me out and do fun stuff this summer. Sort of needless to say, I'm just a depressed wreck right now with nobody to offer their concern. \n\nI'm moving schools, and the school year is coming up and I'm hoping I can make some real friends, but I just feel like I'm too shy and quiet for anyone to genuinely want to talk to me or be interested in me at all. I know \"just be yourself\" is a common answer but I just have no confidence in myself at all, which I guess is a bit counterproductive as well. \n\nI'm really just looking for some hope here, I don't have any online friends or anything to talk to and I just feel really down about everything.", "summary": "just got out of a shitty breakup, have no friends to talk to about it, afraid im too \"me\" to make new ones"} {"id": "t3_37dh1j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [32/M] address potential new relationship with live-in ex gf [31/F]?", "post": "I will try to keep these details simple, but I am looking for advice on how to deal with the possibility of new relationships while I still live with my ex gf. My gf and I dated for five years and lived together for four. The last year of the relationship was mostly dead, and we finally broke up a month ago. My ex-gf and have talked about moving out and decided on a date in about a month and a half. \n\nSince then I started talking to someone and just this last weekend I spent the night at her place. I have no idea where that relationship is going, and frankly I have doubts, but I don't know how to deal with the end of one relationship and the possibility of a new one. To what degree do I owe my ex-gf honesty about where I have been or what I am doing?", "summary": "I feel like I don't need to tell her what I am up to, but I feel guilty about lying to her. Anyone have a similar experience or any advice?"} {"id": "t3_39u3om", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by making my sister throw up.", "post": "I was sitting with my sister in the living room, after she we all had a large dinner, and she was in quite a bit of a stomach pinch.\n\nSo, naturally, being the caring older brother that I am, I decided to utter retching noises, which actually caused her to run to the bathroom and throw up, much to the dislike of our mother, and to my amusement.\n\nA few hours later, I needed to use the bathroom myself, and as soon as I walked in, I began to heave, and in a matter of about 15 seconds, I was throwing up the contents of my dinner.", "summary": "Sister didn't clean her barf out of the sink, caused me to throw up from smelling it a few hours later"} {"id": "t3_1qz5ve", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the best way for a non-romantic to propose?", "post": "I plan on proposing within the next year and half, but I am not romantic whatsoever. I've never given her flowers, I don't write poems, I'll never lay a bunch of rose pedals out for her. It's just not me, and she is totally okay with it. Super romantic stuff makes me want to throw up, especially if it is done in public. I don't even like to kiss her in front of people. However, I still love her more than anything in the world and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I refuse to propose publicly or get down on a knee, but I also don't want it to be super lame. Suggestions?", "summary": "I'm not the romantic type, I don't want it to be public, I don't want to get down on a knee, but I also don't want it to be total weak sauce."} {"id": "t3_15l8fy", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is your experience with startup companies? Have you ever moved across the country to pursue a new career?", "post": "My friend /u/lacro038 and I are seniors in college, graduating this spring. We're determined to change the world and be on the cutting edge of technology. In this pursuit, we have decided to embark on a road trip from Minnesota to the Boulder/Longmont, Los Angeles and San Francisco areas. These areas have been known to be the frontiers of innovation and should allow us to explore opportunities at startup companies.\n\nOur trip will be for the duration of a couple weeks in the middle of January. We are really interested in meeting a lot of new people and experiencing new cultures along the way. We plan on staying at other chapters of my fraternity and utilizing the social traveling network couchsurfing.com.\n\nOur expectations are definitely tempered by our limited experience. We know that such an undertaking will require significant amount of planning, but we have been putting in hours of preparation and plan to continue doing so. This post is just a small way in which we're trying to become as educated as possible before we embark. We don't expect instant success, but we are a pair of highly motivated individuals trying to make a difference. We believe that whatever happens it will be a learning experience and a great opportunity to meet passionate people across America.\n\nWhat is a cool/interesting story or experience you have had while working at a startup company? Can you offer any advice on how we could succeed on this venture?", "summary": "My friend and I are road tripping out to California to find jobs at a startup company. We'd love to hear your stories and advice as we pursue this endeavor."} {"id": "t3_1k77eu", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "I'm a lean muscled man and I'm so confused about BMR/Calories and BMI/\"Proper Weight\".", "post": "I've been on 1200 calories for just over 60 days and I've lost 19 pounds (so close to a few flair!). I'll be done dieting somewhere in the next 10 pounds but I'm VERY confused about how many calories I need to eat to maintain:\n\nI know I'm lucky:\n\n* I'm full on 1100 calories per day. I only go over when I drink alcohol.\n* I've made some changes for life and I can't see myself eating more than 1400 net calories in a day (after subtracting workout calories). (34y man)\n\nBut here is the problem:\n\n* Calculators show that sedentary (which I'm not) calories are around 2100 to maintain.\n* Calculators already show me at *below* the \"ideal weight\" for someone my age, yet body fat measurements put me at *just* overweight (belly is 37\").\n* I'm nearing my weight in college (155lbs) where I was *repeatedly* told that my BMI was in the underweight category and that I had to *gain* weight *despite* having the \"spare tire\" of fat around my midsection.\n\nI think that this is all because I have a small frame and lean muscle: I'm skinny-fat. I'm fine with how I look, except the extra 5-10 pounds around my midsection.\n\nSo what the heck is my ideal weight!? How can my ideal weight be more than what I'm now if my fat% is still in the overweight category? And finally, is it reasonable to eat 1500 calories per day permanently? (Note, I'm vegan and eat very healthily).\n\nI'd love to hear from anyone that is anywhere near in the same situation.", "summary": "Is it possible that BMR calculators overestimate my calories since I have a small frame and lean muscle? Is it reasonable to eat 1500 permanently as a 34-year old man?"} {"id": "t3_1s1yq5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21M] How important is physical attraction?", "post": "I'm 21, have never been in a relationship or sexually active, and have only dated one person. Lately I've started to become attracted emotionally to a friend [20F] whom I believe is likewise attracted, but I'm not very attracted physically; I think it's mostly a weight thing (I wouldn't say she's obese, but not in good shape either). I'd like to ask her out, but I fear that I'd be overlooking the lack of physical attraction simply because I'm lonely. I don't want to start something and then find out later that it won't work because I can't see her that way, and hurt her in the process. Am I being shallow? Advice?", "summary": "I'm inexperienced in dating, and want to know how heavily I should weigh physical attraction when deciding to romantically pursue someone."} {"id": "t3_s3n13", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I don't want to screw anyone over, but I need to move out.", "post": "Hi Redditors!\n\nI've been living with my roommates now for 6 months and it's been great. We went to high school together and being roommates was something we talked about for a long time. \n\nI have a stable job, but it's not the same job I had when I first moved in, so rent has become slightly difficult to pay. Because of that, my roommates had to cover partly for me last month, and I still feel horrible about it.\n\nRecently another friend of mine that I've grown closer to offered to let me move into her apartment for half of what I'm paying now.\n\nI brought this up to one of my roommates and he wasn't too thrilled. He said the lease was just renewed. I thought if I left, I can make room for one who could pay rent and not leave them to cover a balance. \n\nOne of my roommates has his girlfriend over practically living with us on a daily basis and I asked about her chipping in for rent. They replied that her and her boyfriend would just split his current share because the rent amount is designated by room space. If all of us (5) split the rent and utilities right down evenly, it would drop each of our expenses by $100.00. \n\nBut it's not all about the money. I have to walk 3 miles to the closest bus stop and summer is coming (reverse stark). I would then only have to catch One bus instead of three to get to work. \n\nThoughts?", "summary": "Rent is difficult to pay. Don't want to keep screwing over roommates. By leaving an I still screwing them over?"} {"id": "t3_2b8i5k", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[35 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of 6 months, I caught him logging in to anonymous gay sex meet up websites", "post": "I caught him a month ago and said I forgive him. I do forgive him but I'm having a lot of trouble getting the feeling of trust back. I've been in a relationship before where the partner cheated (also organised online) to make the trust go away so I know it's not good to stay in these situations but I told him I trust him and that everything was going to be okay the day I caught him. I'm the type of person who will say what people want to hear and put their feelings before my own.\n\nHe said he was using it to get off rather than actually meet guys (even thought his profiles said he wanted to meet) He has experimented in the past, I have no issue with that. I'm very open minded. He closed the various accounts but now I'm worried he's re joined under a different name. I didn't get a chance to look at sent messages before they were deleted.\n\nI spend my days flooded with insecurities and it's taking it's toll on me. If he doesn't text me back or I can't get hold of him my mind goes crazy - I hate being the insecure person.\nDo I tell him I'm having trouble trusting him? In my mind, wouldn't this make him even more secretive? Or hurt his feelings that I can't move past it? Do I deal with this in my own mind and not involve him to spare his feelings?\n\nI love him so much that I'm scared to bring it up.", "summary": "I love him but the trust is gone. Do I tell him or try to work through it alone in the relationship?"} {"id": "t3_1msatg", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What should I do? Move back home to a different state, or be homeless/couch surf for a month and a half while I wait for people to move out so I can take over a lease?", "post": "My lease is up at the end of the month, and a buddy at work's roommates (a couple) are moving out mid November, when I could take over on the lease. So I would be homeless for a month and a half and forced to beg for couch space from friends, and family who already look down on me. \nAt the same time, My sister back home in another State has already said that if I want, she would send husband here, rent a uhaul and drive me home and move me in with them. All I have to do is say the word. \n\nI'm torn. I love it here, and have friends I would really miss. I moved here to be closer to my dad and brother, but I haven't made the connection I wanted with them. \nI also miss my mom and sister, and I don't have to try with them, the connection is just there. It would also be great to be back around all my friends I grew up with.\nI have 2 jobs here, and nothing lined up there, so it would be a nice break from working for a bit while I settled in. \n\nI don't know what to do. No matter who I ask, the people here say to stay and the people there say move back. I need a less biased answer, which is why I left out the names of the States (I'm sure you could go through my history and figure it out). Anything else you need to know to help?", "summary": "Be homeless for a month and a half till apt. opens up, or move across the country back home and start fresh?"} {"id": "t3_2r2eyw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I can't stand watching my father [52] mistreat my mother [56], but I don't know what I can do to help.", "post": "My father has become a bitter old man due to depression. My mother tries her best to keep the peace, sacrificing her own sanity and happiness in the process. She bends over backwards to do every thing he asks of her, and she allows herself to be his personal punching bag. On top of it, she is physically disabled, so doing small tasks, like cooking, can leave her in pain.\n\nFor example: yesterday she started cooking him some dinner. He wanted eggs with his meal, but she informed him that we were out of eggs. So, despite all her efforts, he cursed at her, threw his glass on the floor (not hard enough for it to shatter, but it left a mess that she had to clean), and told her to throw the food out. She just took it to avoid making his mood worse, never standing up for herself.\n\nHe does things like this nearly every day, though not each episode nearly as severe as this. It leaves her extremely stressed, depressed, and emotionally drained. I wish she would stand up for herself, but she grew up in a very abusive household, where she watched her own mother become a physical and verbal punching bag. She believes that if she makes him happy (hint: he's never happy), then things will be good again, like they used to be.\n\nI'm a teenager, though finished with high school, still living at home. For most of my life, I have stood up to him when he treats her poorly, but I've realized that this only stresses my mother out more. It's so difficult to watch, and after years and years of this, I'm so tired of it. I want to move out as soon as possible, but that would mean leaving my mother behind with no one to confide in. \n\nShould I intervene, or should I just watch my mother get verbally and emotionally beaten up every day?", "summary": "Father has become a bitter person, uses mother as a verbal punching bag every day, leaving her constantly stressed and depressed."} {"id": "t3_3obmka", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by pushing myself", "post": "some game requires one to move their body. This is the kind of game that I play.\n\nLet's get right into the fuckup:\n\nAfter finishing the game, I'm going to get a drink. So I got the drink and go to the queue. But the thing is, it is Sunday. And every queue including the queue I'm on is crowded. So switching queue is no option.\n\nNow the only thing I can do is wait.\n\nAt first, I don't feel anything significant. But I can feel that bad things are going to happen.\n\nWait.\n\nWait.\n\n3 mins in.\n\nWait.\n\nWait.\n\n5 mins in. I'm almost there. I started sweating so badly. It's a cold sweat.\n\n6 mins in. I can't hear things clearly. My ears was ringing.\n\n7 mins in. My vision was becoming dark.\n\n8 mins in. I'm completely hopeless and don't know what to do because it's too late to do anything. I'm in the front of the cashier now. I barely see, hear, and feel anything. It's like I'm going to lose my consciousness (duh).\n\nSuddenly some guy put me down on chair, my senses recover and I immediately drink the water that I bought until it's empty. 1500ml of it.\n\nI rested about an hour, bought a book and got home. 10/10 would try again.", "summary": "did you know that pushing yourself and letting your body standing dehydrated about 30 minutes can get you passed out? Now I did!"} {"id": "t3_29b6er", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 Male] denied a female friend [20] sex and now she is angry at me", "post": "I am going to try and make this quick, I have a friend whom I care for deeply and we have been close friends for years. Tonight she got drunk and was being very aggressive with me trying to have sex with me. She was trying to rip off the shirt I was wearing and attacking me and calling me a bitch and just degrading me because I was denying her sex. \n\nShe continued the night being very aggressive and talking down to me and saying very hurtful things. I kept telling her she was drunk and I had not had a sip to drink (since I drove). I did not want to sleep with her because\nA:She was drunk and I was sober\nB: I really do cherish our friendship so much. I know how she gets after she sleeps with a friend. The friendship is over.\n\nI need to know what to do. I am kind of feeling weird right now since I have never had her treat me like that and trying to do things to me I didn't want. Do I just write this off as \"she was drunk and it won't happen again\"? or should I keep away from someone like that?", "summary": "I denied a friend of mine sex. She got very aggressive and tried to hurt me as punishment. Need to know if I should write it off as one time her just being too drunk or keep away from this person."} {"id": "t3_3tua29", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my long distance gf[22F] of 3 months are having a problem.I became insecure/uneasy about something and i want to tell her even though i know i \"must not\"", "post": "Hello, with this girl I have a very honest relationship and we seem to be liking each other a lot.We are both sensitive people who look far beyond sex and were looking for connection. \n\nI am not the guy to be generally jealous and I never had a problem whenever her ex called her or something...But there is a guy who she used to have a strong crush with and I kept thinking that she wants him still and is not telling me...My problem wasn't that she wants him (if so) but that she was not telling me. \nAnyway everything is calmer now and I am totally sure she is into me a lot, but I still feel from her attitude that something is wrong with this, something minor perhaps....It feels as if she is still disappointed by this guy because he treated her bad at some point...I feel this thing hasn't finished inside her and it is killing me just because I make wild scenarios.. \nExample: They hadn't talked for months and now he sent her something, even though we are so far away she told me and she asked me if she should reply or not( which i appreciated a lot and showed me trust). I said \"do whatever you please\". \nShe told me the next day that she replied to the \"how are you\"? with a \"why you ask\" and that in was just a cold exchange of few sentences where he was even taking an hour long to respond every time. \n\nDoesn't the \"why you ask\" and the \"one hour long delay complaint\" show some kind of leftover emotion that is still wanting something from this guy?Wouldn't she be indifferent if she was indifferent?", "summary": "Something that makes me insecure bothers me and being an honest person, I just want to talk about it with my girlfriend in a calm way and hope that she can put my fears to rest... "} {"id": "t3_36w0y6", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "How can I make small talk more natural?", "post": "Hello, I (20m) am looking for some tips involving socialization. I've been one that keeps to themselves often, and, I feel horrible saying this, find small talk to be a drag. I can talk all day about things that interest me, or to a long time friend of mine. When it comes to being in class, or some public event, I often find myself sitting quietly, or staying with the people I already know. When I eventually do talk to people, I often feel like I'm putting up a fa\u00e7ade just to \"make it through\" this conversation. I do have a retail job at a grocery store, so talking with customers when I have the time has helped me smooth out some bumps. However, if I'm not forced to interact, I often choose not to. What can I do to make small talk feel more meaningful? What are some tips you have so I can project that I care about what the other person is talking about? Because I often feel that I may sound like I care, I don't believe my body language is that way.", "summary": "What can I do to make myself view small talk and basic socialization, as more of a fun activity, rather than a chore?"} {"id": "t3_41r8ge", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(22f) daughter(6f) is upset that my bff/fwb (23m) is not her father", "post": "Fake names being used\n\nWhen I was 16 I stupidly fell in love with my now ex. About three months into our relationship I got pregnant with my daughter Samantha. When he found out I was pregnant he dumped me, denied that he was the father and spread rumors that she was the bastard child of the guy I cheated on him with. This did not end until a paternity test was taken but he still did not help me raise her and prefered to pay child support.\n\nIt was tough but we made it with the help of my family. I do not regret her, she is my entire world and biggest piece of happiness that I have ever recieved.\n\nWhen I was in community college I met a guy named Daniel who ended up becoming the most supporting friend I've ever had. He would be there for both us whenever he could and he still continues to do so.\n\nThey are incredibly close and he has been her biggest influence. He made her into a seahawks fan( it took me MONTHS to brainwash her into becoming a 49ers fan) , got her to start reading for fun, got her to play soccer, and in general her personality resembles his.\n\nA week ago she called him dad for the first time and he kind of freaked out. I had a convsersation with her telling her that Daniel was not her father. She got the saddest I've ever seen her. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.\n\nSince then she refuses to talk or spend time with him. When i try to talk to her about it she just runs away. Two days when Daniel wanted to see the Seahawks game, which she loves seeing with him, with her she refused and Daniel has been very sad about it and it just breaks my heart.\n\nHow do I approach this?", "summary": "I told my daughter that my bff is not her father. She refuses to see or talk to him. How do I approach this situation."} {"id": "t3_1q3ph2", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "NSV: I'm changing my sleep schedule, but I didn't use that as an excuse to give up!", "post": "I'm enlisted so at any moment I can change schedules. For the past 6 months I've been working from 2PM to 10PM, Sunday through Thursday. Pretty good schedule right? Weeell leadership decided to switch it up for me.\n\nSo now I have to get used to working from 6PM at night to 6AM in the morning on a wonky Three days off, Two days work, Two days off, Three days work schedule. I've been balls off the wall tired just trying to stay up so my cravings and laziness skyrocketted.\n\nBut today I've figured out a way to log my food on this wonky schedule AND I worked out after 6AM on a day off! I've *never* had success working out after my work schedule, but it's the only time I have to do it, so dammit I did it. And I'll keep doing it!\n\nJust thought I'd share my kickass break through.", "summary": "I got off my lazy butt and kept dieting + exercising even on a long night of working/staying up!*"} {"id": "t3_3p83m5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (27F) have been a huge narcissistic bitch to my friend (22F) and now I am terrified our friendship is over", "post": "Over this past summer I was invited to a wedding. Since I was single I decided to invite my friend as my plus one. She had just graduated and moved back home so honestly I was hoping the wedding would be a time we could just reconnect. She said yes and things looked awesome.\nNow here's where bitch Kush comes in :(\nShe got in trouble at home and as a result couldn't come. Instead of being empathetic I flipped a bitch switch and got angry at her. Obviously this didn't go well and things kind of exploded.\nShe called me out on how selfish I had been with our friendship, how I hoarded conversations, how I barely knew her because I talk so much about myself. She wasn't wrong. There is a good chance I am a narcissist and this scares the shit out of me because I've heard horror stories of how narcissist can destroy lives. I'm scared that's me :(\nI had taken so much time using her as a sounding board that I had neglected her side of our friendship for a long time.\nSince then things have been tense. I'm scared because she has every right to end our friendship. A day doesn't go by where I don't feel horrible about this whole ordeal. I really want to make amends and stop being such a narcissistic bitch :(", "summary": "Flipped a bitch switch on a friend, got called out for being narcissistic, am now wondering how I can mend a friendship I don't deserve."} {"id": "t3_o0q9r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "BF always jokes that I'm not good enough.", "post": "F 23. M 24. 2 Years.\n\nMy BF is always making comments and hints about my weight and hair and then posing them off as jokes. He constantly hints that I need to loose a little bit of weight. Perhaps 10 ibs. This is fine b/c I've always thought I've been a little chubby. \n\nBut not my hair. I love my short hair but he really wants me to grow it out or get hair extensions. He's always joking around about how beautiful girls are with long hair. \n\nOn New Years Eve, we went out and this girl who had short hair, got extensions and he joked around that I should too.\n\nI don't want to be coerced into doing something I don't want to do. I really love him and vice versa. He's been such a positive influence in my life except for this. I'd hate to change for him, but I also want to be attractive to him. I'm kind of at a loss here. \n\nShould I just grow my hair out? Lose the weight?\n\nOh and problem number 2: I think he likes that girl that got extensions. He's always comparing me to her in a joking manner. At times it does hurt. Other times, I think I'm just being a pussy for letting it get to me. \n\nShould I just ignore all of this? Am I overreacting?", "summary": "My BF jokes that I should lose weight and grow my hair. And that I should be more like this other girl. :/"} {"id": "t3_1zga6u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24F] am confused about his [33M] intentions", "post": "I've been seeing this guy for about six weeks. He went way out of his way to ask me out (in fact, I'm pretty sure what he did breaks some confidentiality clauses), and we've been having a really good time together. We go out on weekends, text everyday, I've been introduced to his cousin, and I know his friends and brother know he's seeing me. Last week, he went out of the country and lost his phone, so he didn't have my number to contact me when he got back, and he tried to contact me several different ways that failed (tried to find me on fb, but my name is super common; tried to email me through my Meetup group, but I get so many of those emails they get filtered to a separate inbox I don't check; and he left a note by my apartment, but it got blown away, or something).\n\nSo, after a few days of thinking that he'd been back and not hearing from him, I texted him, he seemed excited to hear from me, and said he wanted to see me the following night (Saturday). So far, so good. But then he calls me Saturday afternoon to say he's too tired and wants to reschedule for Sunday. So, we get together on Sunday night, have a good time, but then I noticed that, even though he's only had his new phone for a couple of days, one of the apps he's already installed is OKC (and he even made a big deal about not having apps like Yelp because they had to be reinstalled) and there's a pair of dirty wine glasses by his sink.\n\nI thought it was clear he was really interested in me, but now I'm not so sure. Can anyone else make more sense of this situation?", "summary": "I thought this guy was really into me, but now I think he's not, and I don't know how to interpret what's going on"} {"id": "t3_znc2p", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My 16 year old brother has become very reclusive and obsessed with My Little Pony. How do I get him away from it?", "post": "He spent his entire summer on his computer playing league of legends until 5am, up at 11am and doing the same thing the next day. The people he play with are all in the USA, and we live in Ireland. My mum had tried to stop him but she works throughout the day, as do I. He wont see anyone from school, is reluctant to leave his room, and at one point said to me that \"its the only place I feel safe\". \n\nAnyway, I'd often seen him on tumblr writing some blog, which he told me recently was a My Little Pony fan fiction blog. Weird I thought, but I know some people are into that. However, my sister and he went over to the US to visit our cousins in Virginia for a few weeks last month, and he brought back with him about $250 (**all** his spending money) worth of this MLP crap, dvds, wallets, figurines, t-shirts. Ok I thought, getting weirder but I'll leave him to it. But over the weekend we were all at a family reunion and he was on my grandmothers computer and my sister asked to use it. When he gave it to her he'd left open a tumblr which was fan art of these pony's with tits, and jizz all over them. A lot of these pictures. She naturally asked him what the fuck it was, and he replied that its not weird its just tumblr, like it was a completely normal thing.\n\nSo hes back at school now, comes home and is on the computer looking at this weird shit and not leaving his room. My mum and I have tried to get him out doing physical stuff, but I work late and at the weekends and she has long hours and my sisters in college so its difficult. \n\nWhat do you recommend I do to get him away from this weird shit?", "summary": "16 year old brother spends all free time looking at my little pony fan porn, and writing fan fiction, and not socialising with anyone, apart from his internet friends. How do I get him to stop?"} {"id": "t3_48tkf2", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by asking my substitute teacher if he was in a gang", "post": "So this happened roughly 3 months ago and I just now had the idea to post it. Btw I am 16 and am a junior in high school. So this particular day I was in pre calculus... The class I hated the very most that semester. But this day I thought would be better as my teacher was gone and I had a sub. As I sat down and the sub began calling role he would make these hilarious jokes that the entire class was enthralled by. We were putty in his hands. He could have been a comedian that teaches pre-cal on the side. So he finishes role and we are all sitting here listening to him telling us about his life story that more or less was a comedy show for us. And I guess I got WAY to comfortable with the whole student teacher respect thing and so me and many other kids in the class began to reply to his jokes and we were all getting laughs. Here's where the fuck up takes place. So as he is drawing something on the white board he is looking for the expo markers and someone hands him a blue marker. He then replies with \"nah fam I only like RED markers.\" And so me bieng the dumbass that I am says out loud \"Oh so u think u blood cuh??\"... The class was dead silent and everyone stopped laughing at this God of a substitute teacher to stare at me and the sub immediately shuts down the whole nice guy thing and says \" thanks to your friend over here we're all gunna have a silent workday now\" so yeah I fucked up.", "summary": "I had a cool sub then asked him if he was a blood... U know like the gang. And then the sub was no longer awesome as the class awkwardly stared at me."} {"id": "t3_54gwcw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] with my ex [18F] of 1.5 years ended it with me, and I cut contact. Hours after she posted upsetting stuff to social media, what do?", "post": "Throwaway account. So my ex broke up with me about a week ago. It was mostly my fault. I made many mistakes during the relationship and to be honest I hope she does well with her life. I am very sorry for fucking up with her. I'm now moving on too, I enjoyed what we had but it's the past now. Anyway, to the main part of why I am writing here.\n\nI had a fallout with her today. I fully blocked her afterwards. At first it seemed she was okay with this NC happening, but a few hours later she posted on social media about people hating her and how nobody would miss her if she got hit by a bus. I don't hate her. I just need a break from everything that's going on. I want to heal from this. I don't want to be selfish and I want to tell her people care. \n\nI need help reddit, what should I do?", "summary": "Ex ended relationship, tried being friends, didn't work and we fell out. she seemed fine with NC, then put some saddening posts on social media. I'm confused by this. help?!"} {"id": "t3_3vq720", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by taking social advice from a socially awkward friend", "post": "The fuck up happened this week and I'm still suffering. So a bit of back story to the fuck up. After starting at university I made a good friend and spent a lot of time at his dorm and became friendly with one of the girls he lives with. (nothing interesting just a little flirting) A little bit about this girl, she's a small, pretty and Northern Irish so you can't have a sexier accent. I find out a week later that she is interested in me. I thought hey lets give this a go and asked her out on a date. All goes well and she says yes but being a student I have no money so I give it a week before I take her out. Now heres where the fuck up happens, I start bragging to an old friend of mine who is socially awkward. He gives me some advice to mention the 80's to her. Now I'm not thick but I've never found history interesting so never learned about it. The next day I take my friends advice and make a joke about how I've been told to mention the 80's. I then received a message from her best friend telling me that I am not welcome at my friends dorm, my friend is not happy as his whole dorm is an awkward mess and no matter what I do I can not make it up to anyone, she is still ignoring me 3 days later so its looks like my chances went down the drain.", "summary": "A socially awkward friend suggested I mention the 80's to a Northern Irish girl i was going to be taking on a date. "} {"id": "t3_51ldst", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17M] don't know how to deal with my feelings towards my closest friends [17F].", "post": "For the sake of this post, lets call my(m) friend Elise(f). I have known her for six years now. We first met in the sixth grade but really formed our relationship two years later in the eighth grade. We are both currently seniors at the same high school, but we do not see each other very often as I have opted to enter a program letting me attend college earlier.\n\nI first started liking her romantically in eighth grade but was never confident enough to act on those feelings because I was afraid of ruining my relationship with her. I have never been good at establishing solid relationships and have very large trust issues. I became extremely depressed in my freshmen and sophomore years of high school and lost many of my friends, including Elise. After hitting an extreme low I started reconnecting with a small number of friends. \n\nThis is when I discovered that Elise had gotten a boyfriend. My attraction with her has always remained present but it has become more painful for me now that she has an SO (lets call him Simon). She has a somewhat shaky relationship with Simon from what she has told me but they have remained together for the past two years. Recently she has become sexually active in the relationship and almost always lets me know of a new development within 2-3 days of it happening. She very recently had sex with Simon for the first time and it was caused me to finally look into posting something here. \n\nIt is her first romantic relationship and Simon has expressed no desire in remaining with her while she moves away to college. Regardless she wants to stay with him until he breaks up with her.\n\nI do not know if I should confess my feelings for her and let her know that I have a more romantic inclination towards her or if I should just stay quiet and remain a loyal friend. I do not believe our relationship would be extremely damaged by my revelation but I also do not know if I should take the risk.", "summary": "I am in love with a friend of six years. She is sexually active with her SO and seems to have a rather steady relationship with him. I do not know if I should express my feelings towards her or keep them hidden."} {"id": "t3_12pzvv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[17m] My [17f] Girlfriend had sex at a party with another guy, should i forgive her?", "post": "We've only been going out for a month, but as cliche as this sounds we just click. Anyway she threw a party at her house on saturday night and things were going fine, i spent most of the night with her and things were a-ok. \n\nA bunch of us crashed at her place and whilst i was asleep she had drunk sex with another guy. It pisses me off knowing i was probably next door. Next morning she's acting all weird (claims she can't remember much) but she told me that she had sex with him.\n\nWhat makes it worse is that we haven't even gone that far yet.\n\nShe knows she's screwed up big time but i respect the fact she had the guts to tell me. I told her i needed some time to think about things and i want to forgive her but it'll always be in the back of my mind that she cheated on me, and it'll quite possibly happen again unless i watch her like a hawk at all times, which i really don't want to do.\n\nShe tells me she is truly sorry and that she only has feelings for me, and i can tell she's being sincere. She has a knack for f*cking things up when things are looking up for her.\n\nSo now i'm stuck here, i told her i need some time apart and i'll call her later with how I feel, but i'm just unsure if i should forgive her or not. I really like her but then again it's still really early days and if i let her go i'm sure i'd be over her reasonably quickly.", "summary": "Girlfriend had drunken sex with another guy at a party, she seems to really regret it and told me, should i forgive her or move on? Any advice/suggestions appreciated :)"} {"id": "t3_sz6hz", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "So I was eating a blueberry muffin...", "post": "...one of those huge Hostess ones, you know?\n\nAnd I realized...I didn't get ANYTHING done today. NOTHING. I spent the whole day playing games, games I didn't even like that much, just to avoid doing what I needed to do (go to the store, homework, etc.)\n\nAfter that I realized...I'm wasting my life. I just spend all day eating and procrastinating until it's time for bed, which I always put off too. I'm self-schooled with this website online where you can work at your own pace (to a degree), but I've abused that freedom and used it to play games and browse reddit instead of actually doing anything.\n\nIt's a struggle to do anything productive (school especially), I don't eat or exercise right (I\"m not fat, I'm underweight actually, but that's besides the point.), and my personal hygiene/social skills suck.\n\nWhat's worst is that I can kind of pseudo-motivate myself. I'll occasionally have spurts of motivation where I'm really active and motivated, but it's always for a very short time, and usually passes once I wake up the next day. I know what the rewards and benefits would be if I stuck to everything, but I simply cannot sustain my motivation long enough to make a lasting impact.\n\nReddit, what do I do?", "summary": "I need to change me. I can motivate myself for a short time, but never long enough to actually get anything done. Any help and advice would be most welcome."} {"id": "t3_33faff", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Looking for advice on how I [16M] could get my crush/friend/prom date [17F] to actually like me/want to date me.", "post": "So I've liked this girl for quite some time (~1 year) and only recently decided to do anything about it. I got her number, we started talking/texting a lot, and finally, since the timing worked out, I decided to ask her to prom. She says yes, everything is going well, and we even decide to go out on a date (at least, I would call it a date) before the dance, and after that she even suggests we do it again if there's time. \n\nYesterday I decided to propose the idea of dating after prom. She tells me that she isn't really interested in me like that, likes me as a friend, yadda, yadda, yadda, you know the story. The \"friendzone\" as it is not-so-affectionately named. \n\nAny advice on what I should do from here? The dance is coming up on Friday, so any advice relevant to that would be great, but I'd appreciate general advice as well.", "summary": "I like this girl, asked her to prom, she said yes, I suggested dating afterwards, got friendzoned."} {"id": "t3_3ctqsi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [220 M] with my girlfriend [20 M/F], she has no life other than me and work and it's killing me", "post": "We've been together for a while, I'm technically unemployed but looking for a job, I've just come out of uni like last month.\n\nShe's had a job for about 6months, she doesn't really go out, even with the work lot, she just cant be bothered, she gets too tired and going out isnt really for her... this leads to the problem where she wants to be with me 24/7. I have my own friends, who I would do anything for, I can honestly say I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for them, let alone graduating uni. I have my family and I'm looking for jobs and have very limited money until I get one. \n\nShe always whines when I'm not there, and wants to be with me 24/7 and it feels very suffocating. she has a few friends, not many, but doesnt really see them or go out that much. I do encourage her, to go out with work lot (they go out quite often) but she doesn't bother, is too tired or makes up some excuse. I encourage her to have a hobby or sport or see friends or go home and see friends, but she makes it seem like it's a personal attack or I don't want to be with her.\n\nI do try to do things with her, shopping, dates, cinema, my passions and interests and try new things, again most the time she cant be bothered to actually go out. I get she's tired but it feels really close and she's on top of me sort of thing\n\nAny advice?", "summary": "girlfriend has no other life but me and her work, I do try to encourage going out and doing hobbies and sports but she always has an excuse. It feels very suffocating to me."} {"id": "t3_3oo1mm", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Help me with plans to sell starter home in seven or so years.", "post": "This past summer my wife and I bought our first home, we had a very unusual mortgage process that I can go into more detail if anyone is interested, but essentially we put down about 5% for a convential loan and then, due to a banking mishap, don't have to pay PMI. Looking forward, our original plan was to live in this house for five-ten years until we had a couple kids then we'd theoretically sell and \"move up\". \n\nMy real question, the frugal saver mentality in me wants to pay extra money to the house principal as quickly as possible in order to reduce overall payments, but we don't expect to be in this loan in ten years. (A note, we don't have any other debts and pay off our credit statements each month, so there isn't any other debt we'd need to pay down, the question would be whether we should be socking away everything into traditional savings rather than principal payments.)\n\nIs there a sweet spot we would want to hit for loan to value when we go to sell our first home and upgrade? Right now we are at 94.4%, and looking at amortization calculators I feel like we should put extra toward that to get it down so that we actually get money back when we sell the home.\n\nI apologize that this is somewhat rambly and confusing,", "summary": "a first time homeowner wanting to look toward the future, since I put very little down on our first home do I need to try and pay down that loan if we plan to upgrade in five to ten years?"} {"id": "t3_3k1hjq", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Buying my first property (a duplex/2-family home)", "post": "Well, I decided to take the plunge and purchase a 2-family home. I put in an offer and it was accepted. My loan is going to be going to underwriting soon!\n\nOne of the units is occupied by a long term tenant (5+ years) and I will be occupying the other unit with a couple of buddies. I've lived with these guys before so I know that they are responsible and will have a great deal of respect for my property.\n\nI just wanted to get advice on how I should budget for repairs and other expenses, tips on how to increase the value of the property, and any pitfalls that aren't commonly thought of when buying an investment property.", "summary": "Buying a 2-family home. Looking for advice on budgeting and any other words of wisdom. First time home buyer."} {"id": "t3_32jgwr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 F] with my SO[29 M] together 5 years, SO has female BFF- jealousy warranted or not?", "post": "My SO and I have been together in a romantic relationship for 5 years and in that time there has been some drama regarding his female best friends, where they have ended up wanting to be more than just friends. \n\nThis hasn't been a huge problem in the past few years we have been together, but over the past year he has made a new female BFF. I really don't want to be the jealous girlfriend or assume that history will repeat itself but I can't help myself.\n\nPreviously with the friends that wanted more it was really obvious to me but not obvious to him. He can be really unaware of when people are flirting and he doesn't see how sometimes things he says attempting to be a good friend could come across as encouragement. \n\nI know there is nothing going on between him and his current female BFF but that doesn't mean the fear of being burned doesn't make me a bit jealous/paranoid. How do you keep paranoia and jealousy in check? How can I bring up these feelings with him without coming across as paranoid? I don't want to be the type of person who looks through their SO phone, but how can I trust him to know where to draw the line when he hasn't done it well in the past?", "summary": "SO has past of emotional cheating with female BFFs, has new female BFF. How can I manage jealousy and give him the benefit of the doubt?"} {"id": "t3_wka5r", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can someone stay in your apartment for rent without signing a lease?", "post": "My Mom rented our upstairs studio type apartment to a 19 year old (let's call her Susan). Susan said her Dad died 2 months ago and that she was getting Social Security (IDK what the details are but I'm guessing she may be a beneficiary for her [most likely senior citizen] Dad. She apparently has nothing to do with her Mom or something.\n\nMy Mom felt bad for her and said that she would do a background check on Susan. But in reality my Mom had already made up her mind about having her stay with us and didn't bother to check the background check.\n\nShe moved in right away without signing the lease. When my mother presented the lease it had things like \"no people sleeping over, no smoking etc.\" just a bunch of weird shit like that because she constantly had people sleeping over. Susan took the lease and said she would give it to my Mom the next day. The next day Susan said she lost it so my Mom gave Susan another one. The day after that she said she didn't want to sign it because she didn't agree with it and said she was going to move out a month after that day (August 5th).\n\nWith payments she has excuses like \"I forgot to go to the bank\" or \"I got robbed\". Though, she does pay just not the price they spoke about. \n\nWhen my Mom asked about when she was leaving, Susan sounded reluctant. But I digress, so can she stay here without signing the lease?\n\n**In our state if a tenant refuses to sign the lease, but the owner of the place DOES sign then the lease is as good as if the tenant signed it.", "summary": "Mom had apartment for rent. Rented it to a 19 year old. Didn't sign the lease because 19 year old doesn't agree with it."} {"id": "t3_26hneg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] dating 7months, great relationship,but her sister is very hurtful, what can i do?", "post": "me, 17\n\ngirlfriend, 18\n\nsister, 15\n\nsister2, 17\n\njust to clarify, we were both virgins before we met, lost it to each other after 2 months of dating\n\nMy girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 months, everything has been going great, but since the beginning my girlfriends sister(15) has always hated me, telling my girlfriend not to date me, not to lose her virginity to me, and to NEVER marry me. Before my girlfriend I have never even known about this sister, but she always makes hurtful comments towards me. Her parents love me, we all get along great.\n\nSome examples of what her sister has done/ said to me are as such\n\n-she once pushed one of her friends into me\n\n-asking why i always come over\n\n-telling me to stop coming over\n\n-complains about everything i do with my girlfriend(instead of going to prom, my girlfriend and i thought that we should go on a weekend trip together, and her parents gave us permission. But of course her sister starts to get involved and telling how we should go because all we want to do is have sex)\n\n-even when i do favors for her she complains (pick her up from the mall with her friend and she complains that it was with my fathers pickup)\n\nmost recent example was today when her family friends came to visit and my parents went out of town for the long weekend so i was stuck home alone, and her parents told my girlfriend to invite me, but her sister instantly said \"oughhh why the hell should he come?!? It would ruin everything\"\n\nI have told my girlfriend many of times, and she has talked to her sister before, but her sister never seems to change.\nMy question is, Should I confront her sister outright and tell her how it makes me feel, or should i just ignore her?", "summary": "= girlfriends sister constantly being a bitch to me even though i have never done a single thing wrong to her. what should I do about it?"} {"id": "t3_yrmq9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Has anyone experienced something simlilar to this, or maybe have a suggestion...?", "post": "My husband (38) and I (27) have been together since 2005, and married 4 years this September. We have had our share of drama and through it all we've somehow managed to stay together. \n\nWe have two kids (3 and 1), and before we had kids out sex life was decent, at least we were having sex. Its been a year since we had our son, and our sex life has almost disappeared.\n\nI feel like I'm trying everything I can think of to get any intimacy out of him. He acts like I'm asking him to fly to the moon and back when I ask him if we can have any kind of intimacy. Literally acts like it's a huge inconvenience or something. And when I finally can get sex out of him it literally is so boring and unenjoyably that it's a huge disappointment. Nothing new, same position, wham bam thank you mam, no foreplay, barley even kisses me. Half the time he's literally just lying there and I'm doing all the work for him to finish and me left with a serious WTF?\n\nI'm lost at what to do cuz the thing I think about most is getting someone on the side to do what he isn't and that's the last thing I want to do since I am still very much in love and attracted to him in every way.\n\nSo I guess reddit, my question is\u2026 has anyone experienced something like this and is there anything out there that I could try to make things different?", "summary": "husband seems to be or has been going through some sort of depression, has a complete loss of sex drive, leaving me frustrated\u2026In desperate need of some tips, advice, and suggestions before I do something incredibly stupid."} {"id": "t3_4oetae", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [35 M] with my girlfriend [29 F] of 6 Months, I go cold after honeymoon phase. What is wrong with me?", "post": "Hello Reddit,\n\nI'm using a throwaway for the usual reasons.\n\nOn paper, I'm in a healthy relationship with a great woman. I can't think of a single issue to complain about. She's cute, understanding, caring, and willing to compromise. The problem is that the honeymoon phase for me is over, and I'm less enthused about things (physically and emotionally). \n\nThis is a running pattern for me, but in the past the girl I am with has always had some sort of deal-breaker issue that convinced me that my distancing was simply a natrual reaction to that issue. This time, however, there's no deal-breaker, yet here I am becoming disinterested anyway.\n\nBy disinterested I mean both physically and emotionally. Interest in physical intimacy with her has decreased substantially. Sex still occurs regularly, but I find myself actually hoping it doesn't happen 50% of the time. Hugs and kisses are routine, but don't make me feel anything. Sometimes if she hugs me from behind, I clam up and involuntarily pull away before I catch myself and hug back. \n\nEmotionally, I just don't have much of a desire to connect anymore. Talks about the future give me anxiety. I look forward to the days when her schedule prevents her from using her phone for long periods of time.\n\nJust seeing what I'm writing makes me feel like a selfish jerk. But on the outside I'm actively trying not to show these things. People say that \"relationships are work\" and I'm trying to do a good job, so to speak. But at what point does the unenjoyable aspect of the work taint everything else? Should one just keep working at it, especially when the partner seems like she is worth it? Am I doomed to a life of serial short-term monogamy, or are these signs that I'm just not finding the right person?", "summary": "After the honeymoon phase, I cool down to the point of disinterest in the relationship. Why is this happening when I'm with a great woman?"} {"id": "t3_2n1le8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my gf[27 F] of 8 months, broke up. she tried to kill herself and wants me back. i still love her and need advise", "post": "i broke up with my girlfriend on monday. she moved in with me ( i still live at home with my mother ) she didnt have a good relationship with her parents and had no one else but me. but she was constantly insecure and had her fears. \n\ni broke up with her because she couldn't keep the things i trusted her with between us. she talked to my brothers wife about some of my deepest secrets. i couldn't take this any more and broke up, right after it on the same day, she took 60 pills and tried to kill herself.\nthank god she is oke now. \n\nshe moved in with her parents 2 days ago but we still talk to eachother. i cant stop missing her and somehow i don't know if i made the right choice of breaking up with her. my family and her family do not want to see us two together after what has happend. \n\nDeep down i am hoping that now she is changed and if i give her a second shot things will be different. i do love her, but my mind tells me that its a destrusctief relationship. i dont know what to do and i hope you guys can help me out here. thank you", "summary": "i broke up with my ex, i miss her even thought she is depressief and tried to kill herself, should i get back with her?."} {"id": "t3_2a4zou", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "The hardest decision I've made", "post": "It's going to be nearly impossible to get over her, but I know that this is for the best. When we first started talking I told her I wanted to be just friends and see where it goes and she agreed. After a few weeks I couldn't help but think of her in a different way though. She's an amazing person, we share the same values and she has best sense of humor out of anyone I've ever met. I thought she might be feeling the same way so I told her how I felt and she said we should still stay friends. I tried for weeks and it was just tearing me up inside. Tonight I told her I can't continue to talk to her. I know it's still going to hurt for awhile, but sometimes you have to look out what's best for you.\n\nHas anyone else went through something similar lately? I could use a friend to keep me occupied.", "summary": "Told a girl we should just be friends, started to like her and then she told me the same thing and now we're not talking."} {"id": "t3_250s98", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my BF [22 M] 10 year very close friendship, 2 year dating, How do you know when you're finally done?", "post": "At what point do you finally stop feeling guilty for \"giving up?\" Every time I get to this point of wanting it to just be over, I feel bad for giving up on my end of the commitment. But then I immediately feel like I hate myself for settling. Or selling myself short. Or dealing with things I know will not change. Reddit, I'm tired of not being happy. I want to be able to walk away...but we are so dependent on each other, I don't even know what life without each other would be like after 10 years. \n\nI hate myself for becoming so dependent on someone.", "summary": "How do you know when you're finally ready to walk away? If you feel guilty for trying, does that mean you're not ready?"} {"id": "t3_s5piy", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "May have friend zoned on accident.", "post": "Last week I asked a girl I had seen around my campus to a formal ball and she said yes. I ask her if she wants to do something Monday night and we end up talking for about 2 hours, head into downtown to a bar and talk some more. Later on in the night we went to a club and danced and had a good time. I really felt like her and I just clicked. No awkward pauses and smiles all around. We stayed out until four in the morning. The next day I ask if she wanted to do something and she said she was going out with some friends, no big deal. The she asks, via text, if I am trying to be more than friends. Now, the night before I leaned in for a kiss and she turned her head and didn't want a kiss. So, I figure she isn't interested in anything more than just friendship and I say \"No, I only want to be friends, sorry if it came off differently.\"\nShe says sorry for coming off differently as well. I feel like I should have said yes, I am looking for something more than friends but i over-thought and just said no. I new feel like things will be awkward when we head to the ball on Friday, especially since we got along really well. How do I fix this situation?", "summary": "Went out with a girl, she asked if I was trying to be more than friends and I said no. I should've said yes."} {"id": "t3_1gx40l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[28M] girl's[23F] parents are overbearing. What's the right way to be supportive?", "post": "My girl and I have been seeing each other for a couple months, and the connection we have is ridiculous. She's dealing with a lot of different mental issues, heavy anxiety, adhd, and when she's stressed, she gets a little snippy and distant, but it doesn't matter to me, I can handle it just fine, and as far as I'm concerned, she's worth it.\n\nThe problem is her parents put an undue amount of stress on her. They take most of her paycheck, she's got a curfew, they constantly call to check up on her, and control most every aspect of her life. They're emotionally constricting to her, and she often needs to lie to hang out with me. When she's honest about what she's doing, they tell her no, and won't give a reason behind it. Just no. The one time she got a reason, it was because \"I'm too inside her comfort zone.\" First off, I don't get how a new boyfriend, and hanging out with a new crew, could be considered inside her comfort zone. Secondly, considering what she's going through, inside her comfort zone is where she needs to be. I get the feeling they don't trust my intentions, but meeting them is out of the question right now. The one time she broke curfew, she was called a whore, among other things.\n\nIt's a lot of stress for her, and right now, she says I'm worth it, but we agreed that if it became too much stress for her to deal with, we'd seperate. I don't want it to get to that point, but she doesn't see any way out of her situation, and right now neither do I. \n\nSo reddit, what are we to do? And how do I be supportive when there isn't anything to do?", "summary": "Amazing girl has controlling parents that make it hard for us to hang out. How do I ease her tension when they get on her case?"} {"id": "t3_f3aky", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Since the arrival of a new dog, our older dog pees everywhere. Help?", "post": "We have two dogs. One is seven, the other is one. Since the arrival of the younger pup, our older dog has decided he wants to mark his territory and has been peeing inside on all the furniture multiple times per day. We have never had this problem before... Training him as a puppy was effortless. \n \nNow none of our methods are effective. No matter what we do, he finds a way to pee inside. Even if we watch him like a hawk in the room, he'll straight up pee in front of us. \n \nHe is not neutered, and the vet has told us this is our only hope in terms of making the accidents go away. We aren't really comfortable with doing this to him now that he's older, so as it stands, it's our last resort. \n \nSuggestions would be amazing! Anybody experience the same problem? Thanks!", "summary": "Since the arrival of a new dog, our older dog pees everywhere. What can we do, besides neuter him, to make this stop?"} {"id": "t3_2xnbn3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25 M] am arguing with my girlfriend[24F] of a few years over changing her sons [4] last name when we get married. Am I wrong?", "post": "Basically she has a 4 year old, his dad is barely in the picture. When he is in the picture it's because he sees the kid every other weekend, or the mom is complaining about him in some way. He's always high, his girlfriend has abused the son etc. Basically we are making plans to get married, and she doesn't know if she wants to change her sons last name (It's currently her maiden name) stating that it's unfair for the dad since he's \"still in the picture\", could be confusing for the kid, and that none of his medical records will match his last name. She also states that at the end of the day he's not mine. (The last one hurt the most considering she's talked since day 1 about how she wants me to fill that role one day).\n\nMy reasoning for changing it is because I feel like keeping it as her maiden name is kind of a scapegoat in case something goes wrong (she won't have to change it back, won't have to explain why it's changed etc), his dad is going to continue being the same person he is regardless of the childs last name, if anything he may leave the picture and that will only help the child. And that when/if we do have more children, having one with a different name is even MORE confusing than changing it when he's 4, and it'll only separate him from any kids we do have. Also it separates him from me, in terms of parenthood. If something like \"he's not yours\" gets thrown in my face, how can I be expected to be a part of his life as a parent figure?", "summary": "Getting married, girl has child, I want the child to have my last name and eventually be adopted if possible, want to be a part of the childs life as a parent figure. Girlfriend doesn't want to change his name"} {"id": "t3_1hqabp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[24M] with my GF [19F] Having doubts about our 8 month relationship.", "post": "So I've been dating this girl M for a little over 8 months, and I dont know if I'm overreacting or not. Things had been going really well (We had are disagreements sure, but nothing that I would consider major) when she came over and said that she was having doubts about our relationship. She said that when she is out with her friends that sometimes she wishes she was single so she could do whatever at the parties that she goes to. Further compounding the issue is that she really doesn't want me going to any parties with her because she thinks that I'd would ruin them by breathing down her neck, despite me telling her otherwise.\n\nShe swears that she loves me still and doesn't want to hurt me, but she is afraid that she is missing out on part of her life by having a serious relationship when practically none of her friends have one. I believe that she does love me, but I'm also afraid that I'm just setting myself up to be hurt.\n\nI really do love this girl. I've been in much longer relationships than this one and I cant recall ever feeling this way about a girl prior to her. What should I do? My approach has been to let her do what she wants because I trust her. I also know that alcohol can make people do things that they never thought the would do. I don't know that I could just break up with her to be honest, but I just want some help trying to figure this out.", "summary": "My girlfriend sometimes wishes she was single when she's at parties and doesn't want me coming with her to the parties because she's afraid I would spoil her fun."} {"id": "t3_3yswzf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm trying to overhaul my life and I (21F) worry I won't have time for my boyfriend (21M)", "post": "So, recently I had an epiphany where I realized I wasn't getting the most out of life that I wanted. My time management skills have always been poor, so I decided to write myself a schedule for my next semester in college. There are lots of things I want to make time for, such as working out, writing in my journal, reading for pleasure, making a friend or two, etc. I also have existing commitments such as classes, my part time job, volunteering, and clubs. It's a lot. \n\nMy schedule as it stands has zero time for me to spend with my boyfriend of 3 years, except on weekend evenings. My boyfriend said he supports my new goals and will give me all the space I need, but this is honestly making me sad. I'm used to spending all my free time with him. We'd eat together, do homework together, laze around and watch netflix together, etc. But I can't do that anymore. I have the MCAT coming up, and other commitments. Still, I feel like I'm going to feel so lost without the company of my best friend. \n\nHow do I create an effective balance for all these things in my life without hurting myself or my boyfriend? I want us to still have quality time together. I'm not worried about sex or anything (we have an established 'sex date' once a month) but I am worried about just missing him. Should I just suck it up?", "summary": "Trying to schedule everything important in my life and it involves spending a lot less time with my boyfriend, which is making me sad."} {"id": "t3_4x0d22", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [19 M] in a relationship that my girlfriend [19 F] and I both know won't work out, but we both love each other. Need advice.", "post": "So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now, and we're still going strong. We really love each other, and it's a very healthy relationship. Here's the problem: I grew up in a religious household and religion is very important to me and it's something thats a part of me that I would never want to give up, but my girlfriend had a lot of negative experiences with religion (led to her depression, self-harm, bad stuff), so she doesn't want to raise her kids religiously. We both understand each other's views but we can't find a compromise that works. So even though we both really love each other, we know that we're gonna have to break up eventually if we ever want to raise a family (which we both do). Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this, both for now and after a breakup?\n\n[", "summary": "] My girlfriend and I love each other, but know that our relationship won't last because of religious differences and we want to know how to deal with this."} {"id": "t3_4oaofa", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "I would like to try and help my Grandmother with her COPD but I need help understanding some things", "post": "Hi, my grandmother is 76 and a long time smoker, I would say that she is underweight, I don't think she eats enough. I'm not sure how long she has had COPD, at least a year.\n\nShe has trouble even moving to a different room sometimes, she will get out of breath if she moved too quickly and sometimes she has to stop in the middle of going up the stairs.\n\nIt's very sad to see someone I care about who loves gardening and has always been the one to care for everyone else, lose her ability to do these things. She spends most of her days just watching TV.\n\nAs I can see online, this condition isn't curable, only slightly manageable. She has pills, and a breathalyser for this.\n\nSomething I would really like cleared up is:\nTwo doctors told her she was unable to take steroids (but I gather these help a decent amount?) and one told her it was a good idea. The doctor who she is most comfortable with told her no, so she has gone with that decision. But if it would help her I think she should get them? What makes someone ineligible for this?\n\nShe has been told she can't have oxygen in her house to help her symptoms because she smokes and it's dangerous.\nI have tried to get her to stop smoking, so it doesn't worsen the condition and also so she could have oxygen but she won't. She told me that when she stops, she can't breath as well. For instance, when she first wakes up every morning she coughs like she needs to cough something up but is unable to, but after she had a cigarette she feels a bit better.\n\nSo following that, another thing I would really like cleared up is: Is this common when stopping smoking, is there any sort of withdrawal systems that will make her feel a lot worse in the short term? But will she maybe feel better in the long term? She thinks it is too late for her to stop.\n\nThank you all so much, that was a lot of text, sorry.", "summary": "my Grandmother has COPD, currently takes pills and breathalyser, I'm wondering what other options she has. I just want her to be able to move a bit without feeling out of breath, she feels useless."} {"id": "t3_13qxuw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Private school kids of Reddit, did you have any false preconceptions of public school kids? Likewise, did any public school kids have false preconceptions of private school kids?", "post": "I went to a Christian private school for my entire life, but there were two public schools close by. We also played against those public schools in sporting events. We were always told to stay away from the kids in public schools, and were never encouraged to interact with these students during sporting events. \n\nThis conditioned me into thinking that I was better than them, and that I was smarter for attending a private school. \n\nOnce I got to a public university, it rocked my world that most public school kids were actually smarter than me, and they were more worldly as well. I found that being at a private school actually fucked me in a variety of ways. \n\nPart of me assumes that some public school kids may feel the same way. They may have been conditioned to hate private school kids in their area for stupid reasons, or they may have had a legitimate reason.", "summary": "My private school told me that public school kids are a bunch of dumbfucks. College tells them this is not the case. Did anybody else get this?"} {"id": "t3_2xdm9t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [22 M] of three years has broken up with me [21 F]. We live together and have the same classes, I don't know what to do.", "post": "I never thought this would happen. I have just always trusted that even though we have bad times (we do, I guess we did, fight) we would still be there for each other. We are going through a pretty stressful time right now so we are fighting more. We fought more around this time last year as well. We live together and our lease ends at the end of April.\n\nThis time it is because I cannot stand our roommate and my boyfriend considers him as a friend. I wanted to move out because my roommate makes offhanded remarks to me and it's a stressful living situation. He thinks I should just live with it, I think he just wants a gaming buddy. I thought it was reasonable if we moved out, but he could still play games with him.\n\nHe also says he doesn't think we are compatible anymore (we don't enjoy the same type of music, and he plays video games all the time while I watch Netflix). Another thing is that I have anger issues. I do get upset about small things (people not cleaning up after themselves, my roommate making snide comments towards me, etc.). He always gets mad if I see something that upsets me and tells me to stop being mad, instead of just listening. \n\nHe also says that it would be better for me if we broke up because he needs to fix himself. He doesn't have a job and I always have to push him to do anything that isn't playing a game (studying, looking for a job). But I have told him I know what I am getting myself into when. \n\nI am a mess right now, this is my first relationship. We both have good things and bad things, but I thought that if we cared enough we would recognize each others faults and try and help each other through. I don't know what to do or what to think. I never thought this would happen, and I did not prepare for it.", "summary": "My boyfriend of three years has broken up with me. I still think we can work it out, but he doesn't seem to want to."} {"id": "t3_13eba2", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I, [F,20] left my boyfriend [M, 23] for five months, gave him permission to fool around. Now that he has, I'm having a hard time with it. Advice?", "post": "The title pretty much says it all- I went on my dream semester abroad and he was willing to stay with me, as lonely as he knew he would be. I gave him permission to fool around, because I felt guilty about deserting him and I thought a semi-open relationship would help. Then one night he ended up hooking up with a girl at a club, but lied to me about it. Our deal was that I would be okay with him kissing another girl if he told me right away when it happened. Now I feel like it's cheating because he lied and I'm having a hard time getting over it. Any advice?", "summary": "Boyfriend had permission to mess around but lied about it- now I feel like it's cheating and I'm having a hard time with it."} {"id": "t3_1ze6kd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22F] with my [24 M] boyfriend 5 months, broke up with me, but still has feelings and is \"in love with me\"", "post": "He called me over to his house and told me he wants to break up but he still has feelings for me and loves me. He texted me that night and I did no contact him back.\n\nHe texted me three days later telling me he loves me and wonders why I don't matter to him and hurt him. I've told small lies and he wants that to change.\n\nI talked to him last night and I told him to tell me he doesn't love me anymore just so I can bury the hatchet and move on. He said he can't do that because it isn't true. I told him I won't get over him if he keeps telling me that. After we got off the phone he texts me he misses me and loves me. Then I called him back to ask why he did that. He said because it's true. I busted out crying like a crazy cat lady telling him I hated him and I was going to pretend like we never met and he shouldn't think about me or talk to me ever again.\nWhy would he say those things to me? How can I move on from this?", "summary": "it's like he wants me to keep hanging on, but if he doesn't want to be with me... what's his reason."} {"id": "t3_ttb7z", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I have a question about my wife being authorized on her parent's credit card with a very high balance", "post": "As my wife and I are looking into moving next month, we ran a credit background check on ourselves (first time doing so). Our credit looks solid, but I noticed that my wife is an authorized user on a credit card with a $25,500 credit limit (this might not be a high number for some, but it is for us and her parents).\n\nWe were able to call the credit card company and learned that the card is under her parents name and that my wife has no responsibilities for the debt if her parents stop paying on it. However, it is obviously pulling on her credit. Her parents have a balance of $24,540 on the card, and we asked the customer service rep if they could tell us about the activity on the card. She said that she could, and we asked if it had recent activity. Turns out, her parents are charging 'typical daily' activities (food, groceries, gas, etc).\n\nTo my wife and I, it is clear her parents are being very unrealistic with their credit. There is no way that they are ever going to pay off this card, though they are at least paying on it regularly (as the account is in good status).\n\nThe customer service rep told us that she wasn't able to remove my wife as an authorized user, that my wife's parents would have to do this. However, my wife hasn't spoken with her parents in quite some time (long-standing feud). \n\nHow is this affecting my wife's credit? Should we make that re-connection with her parents to ask them to remove her as an authorized user, or is this 'no big deal'? Any help would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "my wife and I discovered her parents have her as an authorized user on a very high debt/credit card. Should we have her removed?"} {"id": "t3_a3p9a", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Is this emotional blackmail ?", "post": "Hi all, need some advice.\n\nI've been going out with a girl for about a year on and off. When we started going out I wasn't keen at all, but she kept texting me and inviting me round to her place and one night we had sex after a night at the pub. We got on reasonably well as friends but we had nothing in common. I think we were both lonely and were just keeping each other company. Anyway as time went on I discovered she was a borderline alcoholic, which made me split up with her several times. But she took counseling, promised to sort it out and said she loved me. I don't love her. She's very messy, forgetful and dirty, has no interests, doesn't look after herself, but she's caring and generous. I can't stand her taste in clothes, furniture, music or art. I kept bouncing back to her, until recently when I just had enough and left her for good. Now she's ringing me in tears saying I've been cruel and heartless, that her life is a mess (it is), that I'm all she's got (not true, she's got many friends). She's wailing down the phone. She cries about all these other things wrong with her life, and all these reasons why her life's so bad (never her fault, always someone else). I just want to be left alone and get on with my life (I don't want to be in a relationship atm). On the other hand I feel sorry for her and feel like I should help her, even though somehow I know I can't.", "summary": "we split, she's crying, wants me back, i don't want to because she drinks too much, isn't clean & tidy, we have nothing in common."} {"id": "t3_16vd9p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [21] and I [20 M] have been dating for 5 years and are trying to figure out if we can make it work with different religious beliefs.", "post": "Both me and my girlfriend were raised Christian. We began our relationship five years ago, when were both fifteen. In the past couple of years, I have been moving away from my belief in Christianity and started exploring other lines of thinking.\n\nMy girlfriend's family is very serious about their belief in Christianity and, because of her upbringing, so is she. My parents are also very serious about their faith, however, my family is much more open to questioning, doubting, and exploring. \n\nI know that her and her family are very happy with their faith and that is not something I wish to change in them.\n\nShe has recently began to express that she doesn't know if it is possible for us to have a relationship with two different beliefs. Until now, our difference in belief has not been an issue that I can see: my moral guidelines have not changed and continue to (mostly) align with hers. I continue in things that have been dear to me throughout our relationship, such as holding a philosophy of compassion, smoking cannabis, and remaining a virgin until marriage (something I see as valuable for her sake although I do not believe it is necessary). \n\nI very much love my girlfriend and am, therefore, having great anxiety trying to figure out if we can continue to be compatible from my perspective, regardless of what she decides. I do not want to hinder her spiritual life, as I see the quest for truth as the most valuable thing life has to offer. I also do not want to be impeded by the difficulties of differing beliefs. \n\nSo then, r/relationships, from your experience is it possible to live with two different beliefs in a relationship if both are willing? Can it be beneficial? Can it be detrimental? Is it worth it if you want to be with the person more than anything? Or is it too damn difficult?\n\nThanks for the input and, if there are other questions you have for me whose answers might be helpful, please ask.", "summary": "My girlfriend and I have different beliefs and, although very much in love, are trying to figure out what this realistically means for our future connubial life."} {"id": "t3_yeg6m", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by accidentally fucking up stage lights in a local school's production and causing it to be postponed at very short notice (an hour away from performance)", "post": "My little cousin had a school band show I visited today and they've got the normal stage setup and such, curtains, lights, several speakers lining the top of the ceiling, and a sound(and lights)-booth in the back next to the entrance. So I got there fairly early (about an hour and a half) and sat around talking to people around me and decided to go to the bathroom. On my way out, i tripped on a cord that was taped to the floor in front of the door and I figured it was alright, other than my rather embarrassing slip/faceplant into the door. Anyway, when I got back in, there were 6 people gathered around this one controller box in the booth with a puzzled look on their faces and had the main house-lights on (florescent strips). I looked down at the cord i had tripped over a few minutes back and traced it to a ripped part that was just beside the booth. I took a closer look and saw it had been completely separated, then hoped they would find a way to fix it and sat back down in my seat, acting like nothing happened. About 10-15 minutes passed and a man walked on the stage and apologized that they had to postpone the entire event due to stage lights not cooperating. And that's about it.", "summary": "went to a highschool band concert, went to take a piss, fucked up stage lights/entire show for another week."} {"id": "t3_4k6iy3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] with my boyfriend [21M] of 1 yr, reciprocating love?", "post": "Hi - hoping to keep this brief\n\nI have been with a wonderful guy for about a year (bit over). I am very, very happy with him. He has told me he is happy with me as well. I told him I love him (he's the first person I've ever felt this way for/told this), but he wasnt sure if he felt that way yet or ever would. I'm not looking necessarily to spend the rest of my life with him (tho it would be ballin' if we did), so I'm not too stressed about the non-reciprocation. He and I have a blast, respect one another, and share common interests. I also recognize that different people feel different ways, experience emotions differently, and not everyone reaches emotional milestones in unison. I have tried explaining this to him, but he remains very bothered and is concerned now that he won't be able to be happy in a relationship where he isn't sure he can reciprocate. I just want us to try and see, and if it doesn't work out, at least we know. \n\nIs it a deal-breaker? How long do you typically expect to be saying these things or do they vary (I'm under the impression it is more of the latter, which I think supports my PoV)", "summary": "Told my boyfriend of 1yr + that I love him. He doesnt feel the same way (yet??) and is rethinking whether he wants to be with me."} {"id": "t3_336svy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24M] have been seeing her [25F] for a few weeks. Is it acceptable to go on a date with another girl?", "post": "I've been going out with a girl (let's call her Girl A) for a few weeks now - I see her about once a week. We've been physically intimate with each other, but haven't really discussed whether the relationship is serious, exclusive, etc.\n\nAt this point, would it be wrong to go on a first date with another girl? My concern is that Girl A assumes that we're exclusive and that asking her would lead to questions about whether I've been seeing other people, at which point I'd be obliged to tell her about going out with Girl B. I don't want to be dishonest, but I also don't want to take myself off the market until I'm confident that the relationship is going somewhere. After all, I have no idea how Girl A currently feels about the relationship or whether she's been going out with anyone else. \n\nThoughts?", "summary": "Can I go on a date with another girl if I've been seeing someone for a few weeks and haven't yet discussed the future of the relationship?"} {"id": "t3_50xn4z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25F] just want to have sex, but my boyfriend [25M] is all over the place! What should I do?", "post": "My boyfriend and I are both super busy people, but we make time for each other and spend a great amount of quality time together. That's amazing, but we don't have sex as much as I'd like. \n\nWe have a lot in common, but there is one thing we just don't agree on: spontaneity. He thinks being spontaneous is randomly having sex whenever (one week we won't have sex at all, the next week we'll be on each other for hours everyday). I think it's having sex consistently, but not necessarily in the same way or in the same place.\n\nThis is doing a number on our sex life--at least for me. The problem is, I get used to having sex alllllll the time and then he pulls away for 2-3 weeks and I get sexually frustrated. \n\nThis happens partly because of him wanting to be \"spontaneous\" and partly because of his workload. If he has a ton of things to do, we won't have sex because he is constantly on the go (traveling, recording in our home studio, etc). But on his days off, he can't keep his hands off of me. \n\nWe've talked about it numerous of times and I kinda get it, but I still wish there was more balance in our sex life. That week of two-a-day sex sessions is AMAZING...until I realize that there's two or three weeks of \"drought\" ahead of me. \n\nI can masturbate, and I do, but I love sex because of the passion and intimacy. I really, really miss experiencing that...consistently. What should I do about this situation? Thanks!", "summary": "I only have sex sporadically, and not as much as I would like. My boyfriend likes it this way, I don't. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_205x3i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my GF of 3 years [21F] duration, Her ex wont get off my mind", "post": "My girlfriend and I started dating almost 3 years ago now. For the first couple months we kept it simple as FWB. Then things started getting kore serious I got bored of just banging and wanted more. Little did I know she only wanted fwb because she still had feeling for her ex all the way across the country. She never told me this and said that we should go out.... she became my girlfriend shortly after as we hit it off. Then I found out about the other guy and not only that but that she has hpv. Trust broken.\n\n Now flashforward through a year of off again on again and trying to get her to stop texting him. However he would always find a way to contact her.... eventually I kinda stop caring about the relationship and she realizes and stops talking to him. I give her the ultimatum that if she talks to him again were more than done and im leaving to where she cant find me. \n\nAlso another rule is that she has to be my little slut and follow all my kinks (as I have a lot and most she would never do despite her \"wild\" year in college) so that I can actually get some enjoyment out of the relationship. Anyways she hasn't been talking to him I. About 4 months now.... not that I can take her word for it... anyways I need to find out if she is still talking to him now. How do I do this if I cant trust her word? \n\nAlso many times I've considered contacting him to tell him to kill himself and how he would never have a chance with her now. Basically I feel lile a jealous girl because I cant let this go.... god it would be great if he off'ed himself. I mean he is a repeat felon and I am like a goody two shoes compared to this kid. I dont even know why she went out with him", "summary": "= My girlfriend and I went out for a little, she gave me hpv and broke my trust by texting her ex, Now I am worried because I hate her ex more than she does"} {"id": "t3_30xmgl", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU- by redditing at work", "post": "Today i was casually redditing at work. I clicked a link to check out a story that was on an external website, when my colleague called me from across the room to come to lunch. I clicked to a different tab and left with the intention of reading the story when i returned.\n\nWhen i did return, i walked through the door to hear an almighty battle roar and other such loud noises... it was coming from my computer.\n\nMy horror when i noticed my boss stood right next to my computer. His head twisted up to see me walking in and he stared right into my soul. He pointed to the ground as if i were a dog and he was demanding i heel at his feet.\n\nas soon as i got back to my desk he furiously spoke between gritted teeth \"alexjbarnett, turn this off right now. it has been disrupting calls with customers for the last 30 minutes\".\n\nI try to figure out why this was coming from my computer and realise that it must be an ad on the website i left open. i quickly click the tab and am greeted with a page full of animated girls in bikini's! my boss saw this of course and let off a disapproving grunt. I also noticed that the page had a \"Clash of clans\" ad on repeat.\nI rapidly clicked force quit and it was over.\n\nMy boss hasn't said a word to me since but he was definitely pissed that customers had to deal with hearing that shit for so long.", "summary": "left a page open that had ads on when i went on lunch, sounds of repeating clash of clans ad filled the room until my return, boss also thinks i look at anime girls in bikini's at work."} {"id": "t3_1ysna3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my SO [20 F] duration, Graduating College- Next Step HELP", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for 9 months, and I'll be graduating this Spring. Upon graduation I have a job offer for one of the Big Four accounting firms in NYC (8 hr drive). I found this out in August after having interned this this past summer. She congratulated me and made a big deal of it, saying how proud she was of me. \n\nHowever, this past week she started raising concerns, saying that I was leaving her and that I wasn't even trying to get a job in Rochester. I was confused because it's a really great opportunity and our plan was for me to work there while she finishes school (3 years of a 5 year program) and then transfer to a city where she gets a job. \n\nShe wants me to find a job in Rochester and get an apartment wit her, taking the next step forward. However, she has to do two internships in the next three years and wouldn't be at the apartment for 6 month periods. \n\nThere are jobs in my city, but the job in NYC is a great opportunity and I am afraid if I turn it down I will end up holding it against her.\n\nIf there's anything I'm leaving out or you have questions on please let me know, I wrote this quickly and may have left something out.", "summary": "I'm graduating, have a great job but don't know to take it. Not sure if I'm being insensitive or she's demanding too much, or how to approach it."} {"id": "t3_18zk8i", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why is it so difficult to get any upvotes in the music subs? [Reposted because I don't fully know how reddit servers work]", "post": "Throwaway so nobody thinks I am using this post to directly advertise. \n \nI work as a musician (acoustic singer/songwriter) full time, and have been working in this capacity for the last 2 years. Being a male in my mid-twenties, I know that there are a ton of potential folks out there of a similar demographic who would probably be interested to hear my original music or maybe watch a youtube cover I've done. \n\nI know that I am not Mozart or even Led Zeppelin but I know that I have talents that some might find interesting or appealing, as evidenced by the fact that my music has paid the bills exclusively for the last 2 years or so.\nI'm hoping that some folks who browse the numerous music subs on reddit would enlighten me as to what I'm doing wrong. Every single link I have ever posted here (and it's only been about 3 in the last year, spaced several months apart) has been quickly downvoted and rarely gets any comment to explain why.", "summary": "Everything I submit to any music-related sub gets quickly downvoted and no comments. What gives? I'll hang up and listen.."} {"id": "t3_iwovu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Maplins HDMI Cable Scam?", "post": "Dear Reddit, I would like some information on what I believe is a scam (pressure sales) by Maplins, regarding HDMI cables.\n\nI went there a few months back to buy a HDMI cable, only to be faced by prices of \u00a325 and up for a cable (when I have seen them all over the Internet for prices as cheap as \u00a32)\n\nNow, they do actually sell an un-branded \"bargain\" cable, for \u00a310.\n\nI clearly went for this one, obviously thinking \"It's a no-brainer!\" But I was stopped by a sales person, who told me that these cheap cables only support upto 720p, and not the full 1080p HD tha I required.\n\nNow I instantly thought something was wrong. I questioned the sales person, and they explained that they are instructed to inform people that the cables are not 1080p capable (apparently due to the quality of the wiring etc)\n\nI left the store empty handed, as I was very suspicious about the whole thing.\n\nSo, does a HDMI cable have a \"limit\" on the signal it can trasnfer?\n\nDoes a HDMI cable have to support full 1080p to be classed as a HDMI cable?", "summary": "are Maplins trying to scam people to make them spend more money? If so, what can I do about it to stop this happening?"} {"id": "t3_1p6suz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Need some guy advice [F16] (quite a long post)", "post": "I started working at a fast food restaurant in January and have since become a little closer with one of my work mates [M16] because we were working together more often. \nWe're in quite an early stage of our friendship but I'm an over analyzing freak so HELP.\n\n*First off: I was rostered on to volunteer while he was working and when I came in he said 'yaaaaay', He's quite unemotional with words but seemed happy to see me? idk.\n\n*I would walk around to see what he would do and usually ends up standing next to me about 70% of the time.\n\n*I started saying the phrase 'rude' a lot, jokingly, and he caught on with it and says it quite regularly as well as other words I've repeated around him.\n\n*Another co worker and one manager has joked about us being boyfriend and girlfriend.\n\n*I brought up that I couldn't go to a festival but got interrupted and later he asked about what I had to say, I said that I couldn't go but I wanted to. He said that he was going with another workmate for transport and that I could go with them. He said they were going to split up when they got to the concert, I said I didn't want to see the bands by myself but then he said 'You don't have to be alone'\u2026.\n\nBUT I feel like sometimes he doesn't care about me, like he doesn't say goodbye after leaving work and he kind of snitched on me at work. He didn't reply to my birthday message to him (he saw it) and I brought it up but he said 'sorry, I was busy.'", "summary": "a new relationship, not sure how he feels about me. copies some of my behaviour, said I could go to a festival with him but shows signs of not caring as well."} {"id": "t3_u8wrf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit...why are many girls attracted to older men? + story", "post": "I'm really curious how people feel about this topic. I'm 20 years old and have been in a relationship with a girl of the same age for nearly 4 years. Over such a long period of time, however, we slowly grew apart and went on a \"break.\" We went for a bit over a month without talking after which she soon contacted me. At that point, after doing some research myself, I discovered that she had joined one of those adult sites (she joined within a week of when we broke up). I can't even begin to explain how I felt after finding that out. But that was only the tip of the iceberg. I became a detective and investigated further by creating a fake account and talking to her along with many other things. I basically discovered that she had hooked up with numerous random men that vary in age from 26-37. \n\nThis isn't a topic about girls who date or hook up with guys that are several years old. Rather, the question pertains to why girls hook up with or even date drastically older men; people that are practically old enough to be their father. I'm also interested as to why men who are in their late 30's would want to hook up with someone nearly half their age. Is this a normal thing? \n\nIf you have any questions in regards to my story I would be more than happy to answer. I hope that we can have a constructive discussion in which people share their own opinions and experiences.", "summary": "Broke up with girlfriend of same age. Ex went on an adult site and hooked up with guys significantly older than her. Why do some girls do this? And why do the men play along?"} {"id": "t3_2hogdo", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "You shall not MAC", "post": "I don't like my brothers girlfriend. She doesn't add anything to the family. She is a temporary girlfriend that has somehow dated my brother for a whole year now. They, as a couple, always have to compare themselves to my girlfriend and it's frustrating. \n\nAnyways, one day when my mother was walking our dog, she heard my brothers girlfriend pull into the driveway and saying how my girlfriend and I were having problems and that's why I haven't seen her. The truth was, I hadn't seen my girlfriend in two weeks cause she was on vacation! This girl is talking trash and doesn't have her facts straight. \n\nInstead of confronting her and causing drama, I use my IT advantage over them and, through trial-and-error, managed to find the MAC address of her cell phone and laptop. I have banned her cell phone from ever getting wifi at my house ever again and will periodically ban her laptop when she is on it here. \n\nHer phone hasn't had wifi at my house in about two months and they can't figure out why that is.", "summary": "I caught my brothers girlfriend talking trash abiut my relationship so I banned her cell phone and laptop from getting wifi at my house."} {"id": "t3_2r5xgg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (29m) think I need to go NC from friend (22f) need advice", "post": "Okay so my friend and I have hung out once in the last few months since I moved back to my hometown.\n\nMy friend of 4 years is constantly on a carousel of people in her life helping her out and then wearing out her welcome, to move on to more friends or family that \"stick by her no matter what\". She has been kicked out of her parents house three times I know of. Her friends always seem to take her in after she \"changes her ways\", only to allow more drama and her to move around amongst them, only to return home and start the cycle again.\n\nMy wife and I (22f) both feel sorry for her as she suffered a violent sexual assault in 2012 and has a history of substance abuse. She is seeing a counselor and getting professional help. Still during the holidays I have got a sudden burst of text messages from her and I suspect she is looking for a fresh crutch. We are broke as hell and I am very reluctant to even offer her shelter because I have seen her go to friends and family alike after every single helping hand and bitch non-stop about how bad of people they are.\n\nThe last time I heard from her prior to Christmas was end of November where she wanted me to go to her house and move her out late at night (she said landlord was harassing her, but she hinted that she was about to dodge the rent/lease- a detail she was not forward with.)", "summary": "feeling sorry for someone but feeling like they are a perpetual victim looking for a new friend to take advantage of. No contact too harsh or just what I need?"} {"id": "t3_31098h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My brother [21M] is in love with [20F] and she likes him back. Things are a little complicated.", "post": "So my brother broke up with his ex-girlfriend about 6 months ago and 3 months later he started talking to another girl who he was good friends with during the relationship. \n\nThey were always good friends but things took a change. She apparently had a relationship in the past where the guy cheated on her so now she doesn't really trust guys or relationships. My brother knows this but they've still talked and acted like a couple. \n\nThings changed up when they both decided they wanted to have fun in college and date other people and then in 2-3 years theyll finally settle down and get together. He has also shown me texts they've sent to eachother, some saying \"I love you and can't wait to tell our kids one day about this\" and much more like it. I think this is completely stupid and is setting up for a huge failure because they're both hooking up with random people. \n\nWhat can I say to him/her to make them change their mind and finally get together and be official or break it off completely?", "summary": "Brother[21M] is in love with [20F] who loves him back, but they want to hook up with other people for another 2 years before settling down and he's upset."} {"id": "t3_1omj1p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19F] exboyfriend [21M] bugged my phone, and I'm having problems trusting anyone", "post": "So as a bright eyed and bushy tailed freshman in college, I started dating this boy, and we had a ton of relationship problems. He was really controlling, and jealous of my friends from back home, and everything terrible. He broke up with me for most of my birthday because I had mentioned that boys were complimenting me. I still (stupidly) dated him for 6 months until...\n\nThree days into summer break (I live about 4 hours away, but we had plans to visit each other), he started texting me, asking really sketchy questions. He was asking about stuff I was talking to my friends about, and I was suspicious, so I checked my Facebook (in case I happened to be logged in at his place), but the questions were really specific, and what I was texting. So I called him out on it, and he called me to tell me he put a bug on my phone so he could read all my texts and everything I do on my phone. I guess they really do make an app for that.\n\nObviously, I made sure it was off my phone, and broke up with him immediately. He didn't even see anything wrong with it! He said it was my fault for dating a tech person (he was a computer science major, and I knew more about his classes than he did). \n\nNow, it's been about five months, and I've been talking to some people, but I'm so paranoid they *know* what I send to other people or say aloud, or even think in my head. I know it's stupid, especially since none of them have had my phone, and I've never said bad things about them or done anything wrong. Every time someone texts me vaguely, or in a way that can be misconstrued as being cold, the paranoia wells up again.", "summary": "My exboyfriend bugged my phone, and now I'm paranoid every potential suitor can read my texts/thoughts/etc. How do I fix this and not let it ruin future relationships?"} {"id": "t3_1gb5wb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am [24M] with [23F] girlfriend (1.5yr) - I have been given an Ultimatum", "post": "I should start off by saying that we're in a long distance relationship (1.5 years) and have been for the majority of the relationship. I have made friends where I am located, but there is one in particular that concerns my girlfriend. This other girl [21F] I met in one of my courses. We talked over the semester - every other day in class - as well as hung out a few times (coffee/lunch). We always have long conversations and communicate very well, but I fear that some affections have begun to grow.\n\nI made some things for her, one for her birthday. My girlfriend is - naturally - upset about this. She does not want me doing some things for another girl. She often feels inadequate even when we are together. I do so much for her, but perhaps they aren't the right things? Either way, she has given me an Ultimatum. I had to choose between her or my friend. \n\nOf course I chose her, but now I am back to being pretty much alone where I am. I have made a couple other friends, but the one [21F] I genuinely enjoy spending time with. I should also mention that while I like her, there is no sexual attraction.\n\nThis has conflicted me for a while, because she gives me energy and conversation that I do not receive from my girlfriend. I have had problems determining how I feel and what to do about this whole situation, because I hate having to drop a friend who is so close to me.", "summary": "Girlfriend gives me Ultimatum of choosing between her and a female friend. Chose girlfriend. Feeling conflicted."} {"id": "t3_31n1ph", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "M (25) torn between two F (25). Need an external perspective!", "post": "So this situation has been going on too long! And I can't seem to stop it. I feel terrible about it...\n\nAfter being friends for some years, about 5 months ago I started causally dating girl X (25). She's fun, supportive, we get on really well, the sex is incredible and we share mutual friends. \n\nHowever, 3 months ago I moved 2 hours away for a new job. I'm new to the area and don't have many friends here...\n\nOne night I met new girl Y (25). She's beautiful, fun and intelligent. We also share a lot of interests and get on well together... However currently she has 'shit' going on in her life (parents devoice, battling bulimia and depression) and I feel like her negativity is rubbing off on me and she is relying on me to be there as a 'crutch' for her.\n\nI think about both girls and like them! Both want to progress our relationship 'to the next level'. Ahhh my heads a mess!!!!\n\nHas anyone ever been in a similar situ? Or can offer some words of advice?", "summary": "I like two girls. X: known for a while, mutual friends, sex is great. But is 2 hours away. Y: local, interesting, hot, but is negative and is relying emotionally on me a lot already."} {"id": "t3_3nu8ab", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by rubbing a leaf against a wall.", "post": "It wasn't today but I mentioned it in a comment and some people wanted a story so here I go.\n\nIn high school one day I was waiting for my mom to pick me up because my car was in the shop, and while waiting I was really bored and picked up a leaf and was just fucking with it. At one point I rubbed it against a wall and some of the chlorophyll rubbed of and onto a the wall. I thought to my self \"oh that's cool, I'm gonna make a square\". A few seconds later, while I'm making my square the school cop runs up and grabs my arm and twists it behind my back and handcuffs me and throws me in his car, screaming at me while he does.\n\nLuckily my mother was there to get me already and when the cop told her I was about to go to jail for rubbing a leaf against a wall, she demanded we see the principal first to tell her why that's stupid.\n\nWe told her the circumstances, and how I had no malicious intent, that it was just a guy being fascinated by something he learned at school 3 years ago, my principal said and I quote \"well you may know that was chlorophyll but some of our less academic minded students will see that and think they can write on walls, that's why we have to suspend you for writing graffiti\"", "summary": "I thought science was cool and looked at chlorophyll, and got suspended because some kids don't pay attention in freshman biology."} {"id": "t3_2w4r7s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (27 m) EX gf (26) is still in love with me and wants to get back together.", "post": "After dating for over a year I broke up with my girlfriend about four months ago. My main reasoning was because she loved me and I didn't feel I loved her back. Thinking this made me feel awful. I care deeply for her and we were great friends, but it seemed like the right thing to do. \n\nRecently we've been talking again and she's been making some good points that I have been agreeing with for the most part about a fear of commitment and putting my first love from about eight years ago on a pedestal to compare all feelings to follow. \n\nBefore this I was fairly sure we were not meant to be together but these new revelations have been really making me think about how I define love. \n\nWe had a lot of fun when we were together and by and large got along great. While she is hurt she is interested in trying again even if it means getting hurt more eventually. I'm hesitant for that reason. I've already caused this person I care a great deal about a lot of pain and would not want to do it again. \n\nI want to try again but now I'm not sure if it's because how I view love is different or if I'm justifying it with that because I like being in a relationship.", "summary": "After dumping my Ex gf she wants to try again now that my thoughts on love have changed. I'm not sure if I'm considering it because of her valid points or if I'm being selfish."} {"id": "t3_3l6sv5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29M] am not ready to settle down with my girlfriend [24F] of 2 years. Want to travel the world solo but it's awkward timing.", "post": "Hey reddit. Thank you so much in advance for giving me advice. So this is a throwaway account.\n\nI'll go straight to the point. I met my girlfriend in Philly two years ago. We spent a lot of time together in the city and it was great. Best companion I've ever had. I always had this dream to travel USA and do all 50 states. So I quit my job earlier this year and she managed to get a leave from work so she can go back to work in December. We're currently in the middle of our trip across the country. \n\nShe's set on us moving in together when we get back to Philly. She's looking for apartments and is excited for the next stage. Unfortunately, I don't feel the same way. In fact, my mind is elsewhere since I want to keep traveling and see the rest of the world - specifically South East Asia. She's a great companion and I love you. I just don't think I'm ready to settle down, there's so much more I want to do and since I'm unemployed, this is the perfect opportunity to see the world. She won't want to do that next extended trip with me and I would love to spend some proper time alone and see parts of the world that I've always wanted to see. But, this would mean breaking up when our USA trip is over. She won't want do deal with that LDR and it would be unfair to ask that of her. She has absolutely no idea I'm feeling this way and I hate the idea of hurting her and leaving her hanging. She has enough money saved up to move in without me. \n\nReddit, I would love your advice. How do I approach it. I haven't mentioned anything to her. But I really think I need this for me.", "summary": "Girlfriend of 2 years wants to move in after our long USA trip. I want to break up and travel the world solo. How do I approach this?"} {"id": "t3_381um4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my bf[24M] of 2.5 yrs, I'm suffering anxiety and considering leaving", "post": "A bit of background, this is my first serious relationship and when we're together everything is mostly fine. Due to our busy schedules, we see each other about 1-2 times a week. My anxiety has only started to occur since last maybe last year. \n\nI get anxiety mostly from waiting to hear a reply from him when I try to make plans to see each other. \n\nIt bothers me that it takes him the whole day to respond to me. It disappoints me the most to wait all day to hear that he's busy. Why couldn't he have mentioned this before instead of waiting 1-12 hrs for a response? We've discussed this before and I've asked him to atleast respond saying that he's not sure yet/he might be busy but he doesn't most of the times and doesn't see it as a problem.\n\nRationally, I know that he'll respond eventually and even if he is busy that day that I'd see him when he's free. I know this problem may sound petty to but I honestly don't know what to do anymore and countless times I've considered breaking up over it. It really takes a toll on me and I do try and distract myself but I end up not being as productive as I can be.", "summary": "I get anxiety waiting for my bf to respond to my plans, it's taking a toll on me and I have no clue how to fix it and pondering whether I should break up over this"} {"id": "t3_2jiysl", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Can I forcefully take control of my father's finances?", "post": "Hey reddit! I grew up with a father who is on long term disabilty and because he is so down about his life he has gotten involved in crack. It really wasn't bad for the first few years but now, at year 7, he refuses to admit there's a problem. My parents have been without tv/phone/cable for 4 months now, they sometimes don't have electric, and they've had a car repoed. My father has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder as well. throughout my childhood he and I often got into fights and one time he even came after me with a knife. The last year or so he has also tried to kill himself on multiple occasions. So my question is... Is there a way I can forcefully take over his finances? I have a lot of evidence to be able to deem him mentally incapassable, which should then make it easy for a court to award me control over his finances if I were to try correct?", "summary": "My father has a drug problem and has tried to hurt me and kill himself often. Can I forcefully gain control over his finances without his consent?"} {"id": "t3_3060fz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [21 M] win her [19 F] over?", "post": "I got to know the most beautiful, modest, loyal & open-minded girl online.\n\nWe almost have everything in common, we did a lot of things together all the time and had so much fun.\n\nThere were a lot of signs that she's interested in me, she wanted to meet up, see pictures, loved to see when I message / invite her, etc.\n\n1 month passes I found out that she actually is in a relationship (just for 2 weeks or something) but they keep it secret. Her boyfriend doesn't respect her privacy, is very controlling and possessive of her and guilttrips her everytime she's doing things where he's not included.\n\nNow I talked to her about this and said that there were a lot of signs that she isn't happy in the relationship (didn't want to answer whether she's happy, \"doesn't know what she's doing / what she wants\", she even said that she might have made a mistake accepting him). I am so disappointed of myself that I didn't have the courage to ask her.\n\nHe asked her out before and she said no and a couple of months later he asked again and she \"just said yes\"\n\nNow, her boyfriend is not social at all, so he is very attached & controlling of her and could not take losing her (I believe). She said that things are not going to change (she is probably afraid of leaving him so he doesn't get depressed).\n\nIt hurts me so much since I thought so much of a common future. Now what? Shall I just stay her friend? Use the \"no contact\" rule? Or just wait? Any advice appreciated", "summary": "I got to know the girl of my dreams, I like her, she likes me, I never showed, she thinks I'm not interested and someone else asked her and she agreed."} {"id": "t3_fp9bx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is it time for therapy?", "post": "Hi Reddit, I've been reading for a while and I really need your help. I'm 24, in med school, and I think I need therapy. I have always had low self esteem and although I have never been overweight I've always been on the high end of normal. Everyone always tells me I'm attractive but I can't see past my weight. I know I'm smart and I should be above this and I've been thinking about seeing someone about it for years, I really feel like my low self esteem has prevented me from having an easier time making friends and definitely from getting into a relationship (my last relationship ended in high school). But I've always been way too terrified to go for reasons I can't pinpoint.\n\nI've always really enjoyed eating, and I have always overate occasionally when there is something I like a lot (which is why I can never lose weight despite being a pretty regular gym goer). However, lately I've been going on serious binges and I'm scaring myself. For the past few months at least 2 times a week I've been eating until I'm in physical pain and I literally can't fit anything else in my body. I keep saying, OK, I'll stop after this one, and then I don't. I'll stop after this one, I don't. Well I have already destroyed any healthy eating I did yesterday, I might as well keep going. I literally can't stop and I justify it to myself. I just spent half an hour sitting in front of the toilet trying to work up the courage to make myself throw up. I feel like I'm going out of control.\n\nI'm going to be a doctor; I have to learn how to be healthy myself. But I'm worried that future employers would be able to see it on my record or something and that will make them less likely to hire me. Is that a valid concern? I feel like if one of my future patients ever said this to me I'd tell them to go to a doctor right away. And how do I get over my irrational fear of being someone who needs therapy? What if I get therapy and it still doesn't help?", "summary": "I have always had low self esteem but lately I've developed a problem with binge eating. Is it time for therapy? Help me get over my irrational fear of seeing a therapist."} {"id": "t3_4owyqr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [14 M], am in love with a girl [14 F] at my school. But I'm too insecure and anxious to do anything about it.", "post": "Just to clear things up, we're both Freshmen in highschool going into Sophomore year.\n\nHello r/relationships. Thanks for reading my question. It's currently midnight, and I can't stop thinking about this girl. Let's start the conversation off with this: I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety issues at a very, very young age. Even though these have been plaguing my childhood, I think it's getting a little better. However, even with these problems coming off my back, I'm still very insecure about my appearance, my status, and how I act.\n\nAnyways, there's this girl at my school who is everything I can ever dream of, we're both in the chorus and drama departments at school, and we share similar interests, and are both pretty talented in music (not trying to brag :p). She's almost my best friend, and whenever I text her little questions trying to start up conversations, she's always enthusiastic and tries to make me happy with her responses.\n\nIt's that time where I finally start thinking of maybe being in a relationship with her, and graduating while still being with her. But, the problem is I'm too anxious and insecure to ask her in person. I love her so much, and I want to spend these next three years with her. \n\nI've tried every dating advice column, and every tutorial, and none of them seem to be right for my personality. I need your help, reddit. Please.\n\nThanks, \nJack <3", "summary": "I love a girl at my school, but I'm too insecure and anxious to ask her to be in a relationship with me."} {"id": "t3_39xb7l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I think I know the answer to this question, but I'm going to ask anyways. Should I [20F] message my ex [21M]?", "post": "We dated for 3 years and broke up about a year and a half ago. We were each other's first everything and we both thought we were going to be together forever. But then we broke up, and we haven't talked since like January. I don't think he wants anything to do with me.\n\nHe got a new girlfriend a few months ago which upset me at first, but it seemed like they were really perfect for each other, and I was really happy for him. But they only lasted a month and a half before he started posting all this depressing shit on Twitter & Facebook, and they broke up.\n\nHe still seems to be in a funk and I know it's not my business and I shouldn't care but it's bringing ME down. I'm sad that he's sad I guess. Is it a bad idea to message him? \n\nI just want him to know that someone cares and that I'm sorry for what he's going through. But I don't think he's gonna want to talk to me at all or open up to me about what's going on. Not that I blame him. So I guess I should just leave him alone, right? Would that be the right thing to do?", "summary": "Feeling really bad that ex's new relationship didn't work out. Maybe even feeling guilty? I don't know. I wanna text him and try and cheer him up but I think I'm the last person he wants to hear from."} {"id": "t3_3lucfl", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by using google search", "post": "Just happened. I was in physics lecture learning about waves and functions. I've never learn about it before thus have no idea what it is, so I went and google period. This lead to google sending me to this page: (NSFW)\n\nAnd everyone around me saw what the hell I was looking at, and some girl call me out for being a pervert in the middle of class. The professor asked what the problem was and the girl started telling him how I was looking up pictures of periods and naked cartoon girls (which I didn't even realize until I went back to look at it to check). I ended up being sent out of class.", "summary": "I googled period instead of wave period, and now every girl in that class thinks I have a fetish for menstruation and naked cartoon girls."} {"id": "t3_10ewcj", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Got jumped after a boulder was thrown at my head, i'm charged with fighting. CO stand your ground law?(related pics.)", "post": "Leaving a bar on saturday night in Colorado Springs, some words were said between two groups of people. One consisted of my brother and I, the other group was about 3-4 people. My brother and I walked another block to Tony's bar, left tony's bar and went to King's Chef Diner. We left kings chef diner and walked about two blocks, (two more blocks until i arrived at my house) when I heard a noise behind us. It was one of the guys from the verbal altercation with a boulder above his head, he was about 10 feet behind us and threw the boulder, it landed at our feet. \n\nfearing for my life and my brothers life, i did not want him to continue to follow us to my home. i turned around and chased him one block where two of his friends were waiting for us. my brother was holding one person back, when another person charged him. \n\ni immediately confronted the third person to keep him from going after my brother. the second person then hit my brother in the back and he fell to the ground getting kicked in the face while the first person held him down. \n\ni told the third person i just wanted to get my brother and go home. he told me to stop circling, so i did. he then threw a punch at me. i restrained his arms and wrestled him to the ground. the second person then came over and started kicking me in the face and ribs when i was down. I was able to get off the ground and i ran to my brothers aid. the third person, who attacked me ran. and i called the police. \n\nThey arrived, charged the four of us for mutual fighting. we essentially got tickets for getting beat up. The police said that after the boulder was thrown, and we turned around after the guy, we became the aggressors. \n\n**images**\n\n[me](\n\n[my brother](\n\n[the rock](\n\n**stand your ground law reference:**\n\n [colorado revised statute 18-1-704]", "summary": "words said hour before, guy followed us to a bar and a diner, left diner. heard noise behind us, guy threw big rock at us. (close to my house) chased him, got jumped. got tickets."} {"id": "t3_21vqwc", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[MA] Need advice on employee pilferage.", "post": "My friend said he was curious and looking through a drawer of controlled level II medicine, he mentioned it should have been locked but noticed it wasnt. He said he took 10 oxycontins 30mg IR pills then tried putting it back only to realized it was locked at this point. They noticed something and decided to call a branch manager to come do an inventory count. At this point they noticed and my friend said he basically turned himself in. He was terminated but never gave the 10 he had back.\n\nThe question is what is next and what should be expected as punishment. Thank you for taking your time to read all this, it's really appreciated.", "summary": "Friend took a bottle of level 2 controlled medicine. Branch manager came in and noticed then he turned himself in but kept 10 without them noticing. He was terminated so what should he expect next and as punishment."} {"id": "t3_2wipc8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description", "post": "I'm (20, F) not sure if I'm living in fantasy world or if my issues are actual problems. I know many women (myself included) who have prepared themselves with lofty expectations off of relationships that were simply not stable enough.\n\nI have been with my current boyfriend (21, M) for a little over a year. He broke up with me around 10 months of dating (September 2014) because the \"relationship had run its course.\"\n\nI was devastated. He meant so much to me. Seriously, the first time I met him I had tingles running up my spine and later desperately googled \"I think I found The One?!?!\" I've *NEVER* felt such intense urges.\n\nThough I had dated plenty of \"Eligible Bachelors\" before, none have hypnotized me so much. He is special. Needless to say, I have been devoted to him since Day 1. I would do anything for him (aside from anything involving needless pain, conflict, or suffering!) but I don't think he would do the same for me. And that's where my concern steps in.\n\nWhen he broke up with me, he told me it wasn't fair for me to be with someone less devoted than I was. That I deserved someone who would make me a priority, too.\n\nIt cut deeply, but he was right. I did need that. Flash forward a few months and we are dating again.\n\nDuring our break I dated someone else, and my ex suffered the loss of a beloved pet. This person and I broke up, and the ex (now bf) and I got back together.\n\nHe spoke of the error of his ways, and promised more spoken love and affection.\n\nHe gives me love. And he tells me he loves me......Especially when prompted by *me* giving my love, or a fight.\n\nDoes he even want me? I'm so confused. I feel stupid......I've never felt so invested in a relationship. I love him so much, and I think it scares him. I don't want it to scare him. I don't know what to do..", "summary": "Boyfriend I love broke up with me and we got back together...Can he really love me or is he just lonely?"} {"id": "t3_30vmc2", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting my wallet.", "post": "This afternoon I planned on meeting some friends at Chipotle for lunch. After I got in the car and was only a minute or two from home, I realized that I left my wallet on the counter at home and needed to turn back and get it. So I got in the next left turn lane to make a U-turn. I make this particular one quite often and since I'm in a small car its not too difficult. But somehow, with the pressure of oncoming traffic, I horrendously clip the curb with my front right tire. First I hear \"CRRRR\", and then \"hisssssssssssssss\", and then immediately see the \"check tire pressure\" warning pop up on the dash. \n \nSince I'm only a minute away from home, it's not too big of a deal to drive back and assess the damage. I found that there's like a quarter-sized tear in the side wall of the tire and it's obviously flat. So my brother and I get out the jack and spare tire and do a standard and easy tire change. So we get that done in about 20 minutes and I leave for Chipotle. I get there 30 minutes late, and my friends are done eating and basically just hanging out waiting for me.\n\nAfter I get my food and go to pay, I realize that I never even got my wallet. I had to have my friend spot me.", "summary": "Forgot my wallet, popped a tire *because* I forgot my wallet, then proceeded to forget my wallet again."} {"id": "t3_30ikdh", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by throwing a mega block at my two year old's face", "post": "This actually happened just this morning. So, last Christmas I bought my kid a sweet ass ball pit that he is currently obsessed with. Whenever I feel like being a half-assed parent, I toss him in the ball pit and proceed to sit outside of it to throw back all the balls he inevitably tosses all around my living room. More often than not, I am only half paying attention because I'm busy perusing my favourite subreddits while my kid goes ham in the neglection pit. \n\nSo, we wake up this morning and I make us a delicious breakfast. I give him a bath and we \"read\" his favourite book. Satisfied with my superb parenting skills, I decide to allow myself some reddit time. Into the pit he goes, and I immediately log on to reddit. The usual routine ensues: he throws the balls, I haphazardly toss back the ones that are within reaching distance without so much as glancing away from my phone. This is where it all goes wrong. Right in front of the ball pit, there are scattered mega blocks all over the floor that happen to be the same colours as the balls he is sending flying all over the place.\n\nEyes still glued to my phone, I'm tossing the balls back his way as fast as he can throw them. I grab what I assume is a ball and let it drift. Just as I release it from my hand, my mind registers that what I just threw was not spherical at all. And then I hear it. *thunk.* I look up, and my kid is throwing his best \"you fucked up, mom\" face my way. I manage to snap a quick photo and he goes back to playing. I immediately get him a bowl of ice cream for being a BAMF and not crying after being pelted in the face with a hard plastic rectangle.", "summary": "accidentally threw a mega block instead of a ball into my kid's ball pit and hit him in the face with it. He responded with this look:"} {"id": "t3_fdimf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Thinking about open-sourcing one of my personal projects. What are the pros and cons? Any redditors with experience care to share their wisdom?", "post": "**Background:** I made a little Flash app a couple of months ago, and it ended up getting (to my surprise) a fair amount of traffic.\n\nA number of people, among those who gave feedback about it, have been requesting some (very sensible) tweaks and new features to the app. They're fairly simple-to-implement changes, I think. However, I am so busy these days that I can't imagine having time to do any of it until at least mid-March. And because this app is meant to perform a sort of \"public service\" anyway, I'm thinking about going open source. If anything, there are some far more experienced and brilliant programmers than me out there, and they could probably make the app 100x better.\n\nSentimentality is the roadblock. For one, I'm pretty proud of the project. I like the feeling of being its sole author. Also, I think I'd feel jealous if a hotshot programmer stepped in and made changes so great that my original effort (which was substantial, as I'm very new to programming) became just a footnote. And finally, I do worry about my original vision becoming corrupted by flashier versions that may arise from iterations on the design etc.", "summary": "Open sourcing my work feels like sharing my girlfriend. But my work *could* be better with others' help. What to do, Reddit?"} {"id": "t3_2du0bq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25M] want to move to another state for a job while my pregnant fiance [23F] refuses to even listen to me about it", "post": "My fiance and I have been together for 3 years now, when we first starting dating we talked about our plans, we each wanted to go to finish school for our respective careers and I have had plans to move away for the past 10 years now as soon as I got the chance and she agreed that we should one day. Well due to some issues that I wont get into here I was unable to finish school and my fiance wound up dropping out and not not going back despite claims that she wants to. We've both been struggling to get by thanks to our decisions and I convinced myself that my dreams of leaving had been shattered due to some mistakes.\n\nWell due to our combined income being less than 40k a year as it stands I've been looking for a better job that I can support us with when I finally found one. It will require me to go out of state for 6 weeks of training and then transfer to another state to work in, I will be making 45k a year if I take the job and they have informed me that there are raises every 6 months which in several years will put me closer to 60k a year. I told my fiance about the job offer and she instantly become upset and told me that she doesn't want to leave her family and has no intention of ever leaving she also told me during this argument that she was late. A couple of days later we bought a pregnancy test and it came back positive, we're going to be parents. Now I feel that this job is necessary to take care of them as I will be making more than both of us starting off. She is now using this as more of an excuse not to leave. I have to let the company know by the end of the week. She told me that if I take the job that we are done. I don't want to leave her or the child but this job would be great for us, I also don't like that she is now against ever moving away as we agreed that we should one day and she knows that I am miserable here. I have no idea what to do here...", "summary": "Got job offer out of state making more than we make combined, girlfriend is pregnant, she says if I take the job we are done/"} {"id": "t3_21cahh", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Do you have to love your wedding dress?", "post": "This might seem like an odd question, but hear me out. I decided to wear my mom's wedding dress. I found a reputable seamstress in my city that actually specializes in revamping vintage dresses, and last week I had my second fitting. \n\nWhy I want to wear the dress:\n\n- I really do love several details about the dress (the sleeves, the Queen Anne neckline, the flattering waist). \n\n- I love the idea of wearing my mom's dress. She's pretty awesome and has been low-pressure about it, but I can tell it means a lot to her too.\n\n- I had such a hard time figuring out what to kind of dress I wanted to wear. This way, problem solved!\n\n- Cost - not a good reason in itself because it's definitely not cheap (about $700 when all is said and done), but cheaper than most wedding dresses, especially ones with lots of lace (maybe? I could be wrong on this).\n\nThe only reason I'm doubting is because I just don't \"love\" it. I don't have a Say Yes to the Dress moment, I'm not overwhelmed when I step into it and if I imagined a perfect dress, this dress probably falls short. \n\nNow, it's not finished yet, so maybe I'll feel differently when it's all fixed. But even if I don't, does it matter?", "summary": "Can you have a wedding dress that you like, not love? I know the answer is, of course, you can do whatever you want, but I really want to hear opinions from this lovely subreddit. "} {"id": "t3_250jj4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Apartment dwellers of Reddit: Where do you store/air out your stinky hockey gear?", "post": "My SO and I have had many conversations about moving in together. I bought my apartment 3 years ago (before we met) and have 2 years left on the mortgage term before I can move on and we can get a bigger place together. So for now, we'd be stuck sharing 730 square feet (which is downright luxurious for one person but somewhat cramped with two).\n\nThe issue that ends the discussion every time is his stinky hockey gear. He has goalie *and* player gear, so it's a double whammy in terms of storage space needed and stink produced. He currently lives in a man-cave of a basement suite and airs it out in his bathroom because, y'know, dudes don't need bathrooms to be clean and accessible. \n\nHe plays one or two times a week and needs to air it out afterwards.\n\nHow do other couples in small spaces work around this issue?", "summary": "I want to share a dwelling with my SO but not his stinky hockey gear. Do you have any creative solutions?"} {"id": "t3_10l4n7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am a [25]M and my fianc\u00e9e [25]F of 5 years has suddenly decided she wants a break, no idea what to do next.", "post": "Hey everyone, just looking for some advice on what to do in my current situation. My fianc\u00e9e and I are both 25 years old, have been together for 5 years and have a daughter together who will soon be 4 years old. We both work and go to school full time, have always been crazy about each other, are constantly doing things as a family, however until this past week she has been growing distant and seems to be avoiding me. I finally confronted her last night and after a long and winded session of tears, she basically told me she was no longer happy because she felt suffocated, that she didn't know what she was going to do after college, and that maybe the path she has been walking hasn't been the correct one. She told me she still loved and cared for me and that this didn't mean the end of our relationship, it's just that she needs some space for herself. I've always been a good father and faithful partner, and this feels like its coming completely out of nowhere. I'm trying to save our relationship and family, but I don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated, maybe from someones whose been in this same situation or possibly the perspective of the one who requested the break.", "summary": "Fiance wants to have a break so she can figure things out, and I'm not sure what to do next."} {"id": "t3_1w6lba", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "After about a week of mixed feelings and arguments, I [18M] am getting upset bc I over analyze my gf's [17F] texts; LDR", "post": "I've been with this girl since the beginning of highschool. Graduated and she's still a senior. I'm studying abroad for the year, 6000+ miles away, 7-hour time difference. Last week we had some arguments but we worked it out and were all fine. But now, whenever we text or email, I completely overanalyze what she's saying and interpret it as something that I know is completely not true. Ex: if she doesn't use emoticons or \"lol\"s I think there's something wrong or she's unhappy in some way. I then get depressed bc I worry something's actually wrong, but it just annoys her when I keep asking if things are actually ok. I don't want to feel like there's a lack of emotion bc I know there isn't. I've been completely paranoid about it lately and I can't think about anything else. I trust her that everything's fine; there's no indication on her part (she hasn't told me) that anythings wrong. I just need to look at it at face value, and not jump to conclusions... I'm just having a hard time doing so.", "summary": "I'm in a LDR, overanalyzing things my gf says, making me paranoid, even though I know things are fine. Help?"} {"id": "t3_1p1bi3", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "talk on your phone on the stairs? hope i'm not too loud...", "post": "i was walking down the stairs of one of the buildings at my university on my way to class, and i was carrying some instruments i needed. this (not exactly petite) woman was sitting on the staircase with a notebook next to her, talking on the phone. i'd never seen her before, and i have no idea what the phone conversation was about. but i was irritated that she was blocking literally half of the stairwell.\n\ni was wearing flip-flops today. and anyone who has worn them knows that going down stairs can be a noisy process if you're not careful about it. i chose not to be careful. i made sure my shoes slapped against each and every step on that landing. it echoed against the walls. it was a beautiful thing.\n\nhope my shoes didn't interrupt your conversation, inconsiderate stair lady.", "summary": "lady was blocking the stairs talking on her phone, i made sure my shoes made as much noise as possible walking past her."} {"id": "t3_mqbq3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is there any way to cancel sent mail (through Canada Post)?", "post": "I live in Canada and I sold a laptop online to someone in USA. They paid the full amount through Paypal. I received an e-mail saying that payment was completed, and I also saw the payment in my Paypal account online. I have shipped the item to this person, then went back to Paypal account, and noticed that the payment was not there anymore. I contacted Paypal, they said they can't locate such payment and the e-mail I received was fraud. I rushed back to Canada Post within 20 minutes, I explained the situation, and the person over the counter was giving me back the package, and told me that he can't make a refund for the USA shipment. He then called his manager to check whether he can give a refund or not, and the manager said that he can't even give back the package, and that the package now belongs to Canada Post until delivered. They understood the whole fraud situation, and they said there is no way of giving back the package, nor changing the address on it, and they are shipping the package on Monday morning. What are my rights on this package, given the fact that I have all the receipts, and written statements from Paypal on this matter? Also how did I see the payment in Paypal website, but then it disappeared in 24 hours?", "summary": "Got scammed over Paypal, shipped the package through Canada Post, noticed the scam, tried to cancel shipment but Canada Post does not cooperate."} {"id": "t3_1ulsq9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24/f) have moderate anxiety--makes me question my relationship with my amazing bf (26/m) sometimes (5 mos)", "post": "Hi there r/relationships. \n\nSo, I have been with an amazing man for 5 months now. We have been pretty inseparable, he is my best friend in the entire world, and I really see an amazing future with him. This is easily the healthiest and happiest I've been with someone. We have great communication, he knows my flaws and accepts them, and I love him very much. \n\nHowever, I have anxiety and it constantly makes me question that state of our relationship (among other things, mostly work related). He knows about it, I tell him when I am having \"bad days,\" and does his best to reassure me... But it's gotten to the point where I am afraid to tell him because I don't want to scare him away. He has been nothing short of amazing to me, gives me space when I need it, is there for me when I need it, and has done nothing to make me distrust him. Yet, those feelings of \"he's going to find someone else,\" \"he's going to find someone better,\" creep in. \n\nAs an aside, I am currently getting my Ph.D., which is a huge constraint on my time but he understands and supports it. A lot of people around me have relationships that are falling apart--and I think that's adding to my anxiety as well. They constantly make comments like \"wait until the honeymoon period ends and he realizes he doesn't want to deal with this.\" \n\nI am not sure how to deal with my anxiety. I feel like it's putting a damper on our relationship (on my end), and I really don't want to lose this man. I love him.", "summary": "my anxiety is hurting me, and it's gotten to the point where I don't express it to my SO for fear it'll push him away."} {"id": "t3_1anec4", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[18/F]need help dealing with brothers little friend[7/M]", "post": "My brother had a little friend (bro was 5 friend was 6) who he never really saw mostly because he was sick at the time. So my brother passed away about a year ago and just a few months ago his friend said that since I don't have a brother anymore, he is my new brother....\nI feel sick just thinking about it....Anyways so I never really liked my brothers friend too much because every time he comes over he wants to play with my brothers toys. I don't ever want him to because those toys are my brothers. There are some he really liked and I only want my brothers finger tips on them, because he will never touch them, ever again.\nOk, so here we go- since they were so close in age I feel like I am picking up from where my brother left off. Literally replacing him. I just can't fucking do it guys. I can't. It stresses me out, he holds my hand, he spends the night, I feel like I've let this go too far. And I feel like his mom is pushing it on us(me and my mom) because she is lonely and her son is lonely.\nIt's been just over a year, and it's too soon for me. She thinks I am really opening up and that this is healthy for me. But I just don't want to be around little kids anymore. I don't want to call some boy I hardly know my brother. And I don't want to hurt his feelings. Because I know growing up alone is hard and loosing a friend at such a young age is tough, but got damn.\nI am supposed to watch him for spring break, and I really didn't want to but I am a capital P-ushover. :(\nWhat should I do to get out of this? I like, never want to see them. Because this sister shit is not going to happen. This family with two moms shit needs to stop. I cannot do it. I don't want to. I just want to get away like a dog in a fucking catch pole.", "summary": "dead little brother has friend who calls me his sister now and I don't like it. How do I make it stop?"} {"id": "t3_2cundd", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "So I met an awesome girl last week and go study abroad in two weeks from today...", "post": "Before I start this, here's some background as to who I am: a third-year computer science major at an engineering school who has never had a real girlfriend and only one kinda dated one. No relationships during highschool and none during my sophmore year of college.\n\nThe story is that I've been an intern since the beginning of June in NYC and she started as a new hire at the beginning of July. For all of July pretty much, we were pretty good friends and out of the blue, (to me) she invited me back to her apartment last Thursday after a going away party for a coworker. Now I really don't want to leave this fucking city but I also know I can't justify or sustain staying. My only plan right now is to keep in contact and remain friends until I can come back and visit and see where it's gone from there. Sorry, I just had to rant at someone about this and all my friends in the city work at my office.", "summary": "Intern meets girl. They become friends. Girl uses hookup on intern. Due to lack of time left together, it's highly effective! Intern is confused, annoyed, and maybe a little bit heartbroken."} {"id": "t3_30uj8g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] with my boyfriend [25 M] 5 years, scared to end it.", "post": "I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, and throughout our relationship I've been very happy but I've always had this nagging feeling that he wasn't the one. He is everything I ever wanted, but there is something missing. \n\nWhen I first started dating him I didn't have that immediate attraction to him. (He is very good looking - just not my type.) I would ask people around me if that could grow, and I was always reassuring myself that he is the one I wanted because he is \"perfect.\" \n\nWe are planning our 5 year anniversary weekend for two weeks from now, and we have a trip coming up in May for a wedding. I keep having these nagging thoughts that I need to get my shit together and just end it. I'm so worried about breaking his heart and making a huge mistake. I've brought it up a few times that I've been having doubts (just over the past few months) and now I feel like he is walking on egg shells. I don't want to do this to him. \n\nI think he is planning on proposing some time soon too... possibly this summer after the wedding. I really can imagine my life with him, he would be an amazing husband, and father and I genuinely do love him. I don't know if I'm missing out on something more, someone who I have that spark and intensity with. Maybe I am being naive...and should just be happy with what I have and not make a huge mistake. \n\nThe thing that scares me the most is starting over... we have lived together for 3 years, share everything, we have a dog, and almost all of my friends are \"our\" friends. I'm so confused...I don't want to leave him and never find someone to makes me happy, but I also don't want to stay with him and always wonder \"What if?\" \n\nIf anyone has been in a situation like this, maybe you could help me out. Did you do the right thing, or did you feel like you made a mistake? Also...how to did get through the courage to finally end it and start over? I don't want to break his heart.", "summary": "Boyfriend of 5 years makes me happy, but something is missing. Terrified to make a mistake, and start over alone."} {"id": "t3_1ku26a", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I(24F) feel responsible for my boyfriends(25M) back problems. He sleeps on a crappy futon- I made him throw away his previous bed because he cheated on me on it.", "post": "Title says a lot. My bf and I are in a good place now, really. We had an incredible bumpy start, and it all escalated when I found out he had been having an affair with a (former) friend of ours. This was about 6 months ago (the reveal). We totally crashed and burned, obviously, but from the wreckage we build up a new, solid, honest relationship. However, especially in the beginning (and still, but a little less) I was disgusted by the places, memories, phrases even, and the physical stuff that was 'contaminated' by the betrayal. Including the bed. He was super remorseful, took these feelings seriously and accommodated me in that he actually threw away his bed (amongst other things).\n\nHe has been sleeping on a crappy futon since then. He doesn't have money to spare to buy a new bed. His back is absolutely killing him now, and I feel bad for it. I try to give him massages, but I have medical problem which means I can't properly do it without hurting my wrists (though I try).\n\nHe is getting cranky and frustrated because of the pain, he won't blame me, he really is very attentive to my feelings, but I still feel like I'm responsible.\n\nWhat can I do to make this situation suck less for the both of us?\n\n*Extra info: (He doesn't have spare change for a new bed/physical therapy, etc) He's really really healthy and fit and active, btw, so it's just the bed, not other factors. I have some spare change, but he hates it when I give him things, and something as expensive as a bed, he really wouldn't like that.", "summary": "I feel guilty about my bf's back problems caused by the lack of a proper bed/mattress. He has thrown away his good bed on my request after he cheated on me on the thing."} {"id": "t3_1jhvtp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I get over this feeling after ending a 3-year relationship, where my ex-gf [F/21] cheated on me?", "post": "It's been 2 months and although I am making progress, every time I see her interact with my friends online, or I just see something of her's online, I am thrown into a state of anger and depression. It just feels so much more real when I see her acting like a human being.\n\nAnd she is continuing her life as if she did nothing wrong and it bothers me to no end. I just dont know how to get over this, and just not care that she doesnt care about what she did, and is now happy with someone else she had lined up while we were together. Help?", "summary": "Ex-gf still makes me feel like shit when I see her post things online, and she doesnt feel bad for cheating on me and is now happy with the person she cheated on me with. Bothered to no end."} {"id": "t3_23t4fl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[18/m] girlfriend[18f] of a year is sending inappropriate memes to her guy friend.", "post": "I always see her posting pictures of that stupid rape sloth meme on his facebook wall and I think it's inappropriate since the memes are basically blunt pick up lines about sex and blowjobs.\n\nI've been with her for almost a year and she met him about three months after we were dating. They have been getting close over the past few months at school and she's always at the quad after school studying with him. I highly doubt she is cheating since she's always with me but I think being flirty like this should be reserved for me. She doesn't go to his house alone or have him over alone either.", "summary": "Girlfriend sends memes to guy about sex, would you be okay with this[guys], or would you do something like this if you were in a relationship[girls]?"} {"id": "t3_2o2lkl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 F] with my parents [50 M/F] Parents found out about drinking, trying to force control over life.", "post": "There's a bit of backstory to this, but essentially, my parents found out that I have been partying at college. When I was living with them at home I was always pretty good about following the rules and they never found out anything. I always thought they would put two and two together and realize that it's college, it's to be expected. Unfortunately this was not the case.\n\nI was at a party and got roofied, but made it back to my dorm okay. My roommate found me and called for help thinking I was blackout drunk. This led to me having a follow up meeting about what happened at school, but also to a letter being sent home to my parents.\n\nAnticipating the letter, I decided to talk to my parents in person. I knew there was no way I could tell them what really happened, my parents honestly wouldn't be able to handle it.\n\nSo I told them I was at a party where everyone got in trouble because of one person. I told them I had had two drinks that night and spoke to emt's about the one person who got sick. They believed me, but absolutely freaked out. \n\nMy parents are very religious and strict but I'm an adult now and they have a hard time with this.\nAll I can think is how I can never tell them the truth and it's such a burden. They're already so upset with me and are trying to contact my school to get a full incident report of what happened. If they see the incident report they're going to know what I told them is bs and I have no idea how to handle that because the truth will break their hearts.\n\nNote: I'm the oldest child and turned 18 a few weeks before leaving for school.", "summary": "I got roofied at a party, school sent my parents a letter, I lied to spare them, and now they might be about to find out the truth."} {"id": "t3_vt35k", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "It drives me [22/m] crazy when my SO [21/f] watches things we planned to watch beforehand. Is this wrong/controlling/whatever?", "post": "Often, while my SO and I are watching a TV series together (entire thing start to finish over the course of a few weeks) she'll watch ahead a few episodes while I'm at work and end up finishing the series quite some time before me. On a few occasions she has done a similar thing with a movie and watched one we were planning to see with her friend prior to us going. Something about this drives me up the wall and, for me, takes away from the experience of watching it together. I've asked her to stop doing, but she hasn't. Is this a normal thing to be annoyed with or am I overreacting about it?", "summary": "GF watches movies/tv shows we plan to watch together by herself/with her friends before we get a chance to. Is it okay to be annoyed/angry about this or am I overreacting?"} {"id": "t3_4qsj79", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is our sex life to far gone to save? (29f) (26m)", "post": "My husband and I have been married for four years. Our sex life has never been great, even in the honeymoon stages of our marriage. I would ask him things he liked and he was just so vanilla but whatever. I'd go on to tell him things I like (Im really into role playing and bdsm) but he'd always dismiss it and make jokes about it. \n\nThroughout our marriage he'd go on to say things like \" I don't like going down on women, I don't find it attractive\" make fun of my fantasies, call me fat, poke at my stomach, call me a starfish cause all I do is lay down while having sex. But everytime I tried to get better at other positions and want to practice he'd get frustrated cause I suck at sex.. \n\nI'm at the point where I feel really insecure to even have sex with him. Plus I'm just not turned on by him and the person he became, if that makes any sense. \n\nIt's been two months since we've had sex and every time he attempts to try anything it's just to get a blow job. Our we too far gone to save?", "summary": "Husband and I don't have sex for months at a time. He tells me I suck at sex and always makes me feel insecure"} {"id": "t3_3971n6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do i (21f) get over my envy/jealousy?", "post": "I've always known I wasn't a looker. I know I'm too skinny, tiny boobs, tiny butt, too tall, too this and too that. Whatever. Not everyone can be Jennifer Aniston or Kim Kardashian. Thats cool. But i thought that if a man wanted to sleep with you and be in a relationship with you, at least he thought you were pretty to him...\n\nWell, when i found out that wasn't true, it kind of messed with my head. I already knew i wasn't attractive, so why would i be surprised that my boyfriend thinks the same? But it sucks and it hurts and it makes me so, so jealous of other, beautiful women. Including my sisters. \n\nIt started with just little comments from my boyfriend. When he wasn't even angry. He'd just point out stuff. Someone told me that i had a sexy voice and he said he'd heard sexier. He's said he preferred different boobs but mine are good enough, that other girls have better hips or hair or style or are prettier or would make him too stupid so he's happy he's with me. \n\nAnd i get that thats all messed up stuff to say to someone else, but its not like it was all at one time and it was a year and a half ago that he basically stopped that behavior and now tells me I'm beautiful and stuff but i don't believe him and i don't think anyone will ever think that and I'm so jealous of girls with boyfriends who can't keep their hands off each other. I want passion. I want to be that girl.\n\nBut i never will be and i need to just be a big girl and accept that, but it really sucks and it really hurts and i feel so stupid and pathetic at the same time. How do i just accept that i will not be physically attractive and that's alright?", "summary": "after realizing i am not attractive, i am incredibly envious and jealous of other beautiful women. How to accept being unattractive?"} {"id": "t3_3c807p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I (22F) weird for not wanting to go on family vacations? (50sMF, 16M)", "post": "Using my (kind of) throwaway because why not. \n\nI have come to the realization that I don't like our family vacations. They are always incredibly stressful, and I get enough of my parents yelling at me at home. Tensions always run high on our vacations. There's always arguing, and it sucks because there's nowhere to escape it.\n\nThe reason this comes up is because my dad has an opportunity to go to Seattle, and my mom wants to go. It'd be a week long thing. It also happens to fall on my birthday. \n\nCall me crazy but I'd much rather spend it at home chilling out than being stressed out of my mind with my parents. My mom is giving me crap because I'd be \"foolish\" not to go. \n\nI'd love to go to Seattle, just not with them. (Maybe with my little brother because he's cool) \n\nMy mom and I already don't get along at home. She's constantly putting me down and making me feel bad about myself and what not. (I could make a whole post about this)She told me that \"Nobody will be in a rush to celebrate your birthday with you. They're all too busy for you.\" So yeah, that was nice. She also was saying how SHE'D love to be on vacation. \n\nThe ONLY reason I ask is that I do love to travel, but like I said not with them(her). So I'm kind of torn. She's also guilt tripping me so that doesn't help.", "summary": "Dad going out of town, mom wants us to go with, I hate family vacations because my mom and I fight constantly and they're always stressful. But I love to travel so I'm torn."} {"id": "t3_3bj3kp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "my friend [20 F] is asking me [23 F] to take sides in a fight", "post": "To clarify, she hooked up with another friend of mine[23 M] and they had a huge fight over the terms of their relationship (she had feelings for him, he wanted to keep it casual). When they terminated their relationship, she told me she couldn't bear to be friends with me if I was still friends with him. The thing is, he never did anything to hurt me and I don't feel like putting an ultimatum on our friendship is fair. We've been friends for over 5 years, but when I stood up for myself, she told me that we can't be friends anymore. I just don't know what to do here. Have I done the right thing by saying I won't choose sides?", "summary": "Friend said she won't be my friend if I'm still friends with her ex-FWB. Now says our friendship is over."} {"id": "t3_4ogt2v", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 M] get extremely anxious/worried when I'm not with my Girlfriend [19 F] for no reason.", "post": "I've been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and we've lived together at university for nearly the whole time we've been together. The time we spend together is great, we've had no major arguments only little squabbles nothing crazy. Now that summer has come we've both moved back into our parents houses. She lives about 1 hour and a half away by car (I don't drive.). We haven't seen each other for over a week which neither of us are worried about as I'm travelling to her parents house next week by train. \n\nI text/call her whenever she's free I make sure I'm not persistent with it, if she don't message back for a while I don't have any problems with it and she goes out with friends I just leave her to have a good time out. There are no problems when it comes to conversation over text or the phone. \n\nYou're probably reading this and thinking... Well there aren't any problems whats this guy posting on /r/relationship for. Well I have this constant worried feeling that somethings wrong or she's not into me anymore which recently has put me in a terrible mood and in turn is effecting my friends and family. But I can't shake it. I always feel down, anxious, worried which I literally have no reason for. I don't get this feeling all the time but at least once a day. It feels like my chest cramps up and that everything has just gone wrong when nothing has happened, I have sometimes got this feeling when I have not been messaging her. I have not been tested for anxiety or anything like that, but honestly I really don't think mental health issues are at work here. The more I write the more I think this is just something I need to overcome.\n\nI don't really have many people to talk to about this so to here a few peoples opinions or experiences would really help. This may be the most pathetic relationship post but this is not only hurting me but my friends and family because of the knock-on effect on my mood.", "summary": "I get really anxious/worried when my girlfriend is not with me in person, for no reason at all, it is effecting my general mood so what to overcome the anxiousness."} {"id": "t3_49xpto", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Gf [24] cheated on me [21] and lied to me. We live together and I need help really bad.", "post": "So we have been together for about a year now. I found out the other day that she had went out to the bar with another guy about a month ago on 4 separate occasions. On one of them she went to his house and they made out. She never told me she went out with him I had to find out from a mutual friend.\n\nWhen I asked her about it she lied to my face over and over even when I told her that our friend told me. I told her we are through and she went nuts and just keeps badgering me to give her another chance. I still don't know if she slept with him or not and if she did she would never tell me. I would be gone by now but we both have nowhere to go and our lease isn't up til October.\n\nPart of me still loves her and wants to take her back because I was happy with her. Then I think about those nights she betrayed me. I don't know what to do at this point. Every time we talk it's just her saying I love you, crying, apologizing and me just laying into her about what she did. I'm having a dilemma here and I need help bad. Just someone give me advice I'm desperate.", "summary": "Found out my gf cheated on me and tried to hide it. We live together and I want to take her back. Should I?"} {"id": "t3_3b6guh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27F] was accused of being racist by [23F]", "post": "This isn't an immediate problem but something that has been playing on my mind. It was the ex-housemate of my boyfriend. A stranger, not his friend. My boyfriend and I are long distance and both complete introverts, and so when we get to spend time together we keep to ourselves.\n\nShe lived in the house for about three months. I said hi when I saw her, but nothing beyond that. It was civil enough but mostly she wore headphones and spent time in her room. Quickly, my boyfriend began having problems with her. She was stealing his food and damaging his utensils, and playing loud music at antisocial times. He confronted her when I was there (politely, because he is also shy) and she lost it. Screamed at me and him. Said we were racist and rude to her, ignoring her. Called me a white princess.\n\nI never saw her again because she moved out, but before she did, she had another rant at my boyfriend where she called me \"beautifully white\" (I'm technically mixed race) and again made the racist accusations. My question is: what on earth do I do when I'm accused of racism? Racism is absolutely terrible and it really saddens me to think that anyone thinks that I dislike them for no reason.", "summary": "Was accused of being racist by a girl I exchanged less than 10 words with. Feeling confused and not sure what to do in future."} {"id": "t3_2axlxj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24F] am being pursued by a guy [?M] who finds me very attractive, the problem is I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I think I'm too dangerous for him", "post": "Ok this is going to seem really strange but I hope I can explain in a way that's understood. \nI met a guy on OkCupid about a month ago(I just realized right now I've never asked him how old he is but he's about my age)\n after he messaged me and seemed really interested in me. So I began to talk and tease him a little bit because I thought he was cute and he was VERY endearing and warm to me. He really seem to care about me and we share similar unpopular opinions and he just seems to be the only person who can actually tolerate me. So after talking almost every day and playing games with each other etc I told him on a date that I had to come clean. I explained to him that I am sociopathic, borderline and narcissitic and that he shouldn't get too close to him because I am so insensitive and manipulative that I feel I would do him damage, even though I really do like him. I told him that maybe he should keep his distance and we should just stay friends. \n\nWell he said something completely unexpected, he said that he studies psychology and when he saw my profile he knew what I was straight away. He said he loves how dangerous and unpredictable I am and he finds it sexy. He also said he has no problem with it at all and in his own words \"I'm struggling to not fall in love with you.\"\n\nWhat the hell do I do? I've never been in this kind of situation before. He seems like he really understands and doesn't mind but I don't want him close to me, he doesn't deserve it. The problem is I love the way he treats me and the attention and care he gives me. I smile when I wake up and see a knew message from him, he's even relearning his childhood language because it's my native language and he wants to speak it to me. I'm really falling for him but I know that I'm unfit to have him, but he seems convinced I am.\n\nSo much cognitive dissonance what do I do?", "summary": "Guy I'm dating says he has no problem with me being mentally ill but I'm not sure if he quite understands how dangerous I am"} {"id": "t3_pxgb1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Found this document labeled \"thoughts\"... so Reddit, what do you think?", "post": "I always wonder what guys are thinking when you are just starting to 'talk' to one of them. I wonder if they wonder what the future between you two will be like. I wonder if they wonder about a future with another person at all. Do they worry like women do? Do they wonder if they will ever be alone when they're older? Maybe they're just always confident that they will eventually meet someone even if they're older. Men are lucky in that way. They age like fine wine. Women on the other hand seem to expire after a certain age. Women become unwanted after wrinkles creep in, bags under the eyes start to form, your youth fading away.... Maybe this is why women worry so much more about finding someone to spend our life with. Because women want to make sure they have someone that will love them even after time starts to take a toll on their looks. Is this why women have always been expected to marry young? Because of this ultimate truth in the world? Now it's even harder to keep up with looking 'good' because of all the false advertising of how women's bodies should be. There is always the argument brought up that 'looks don't really matter'. Lies. Looks do matter because that's the first thing that attracts you to a person. That attraction is needed on a physical level, to a certain extent, in a relationship. After that you may look for a certain kind of emotional connection with the person. Then start finding out different interests you share, and some you can learn from one another. Also, religion comes into play. Sometimes that can be a deal breaker in a relationship. With so many factors coming into play, how do you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?", "summary": "what do men think when they first start seeing a women? do they worry about the future as much? how do you find someone to spend life with?"} {"id": "t3_1ovktz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 24/F with my boyfriend 28/M of 2 years, I keep flip-flopping about how I feel", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and we've been happy. We don't fight, our personalities are very similar, no cheating or anything of the sort. But I feel like I may be missing out. He's my first long-term boyfriend, and I already feel \"over it\" sometimes. I love him very much, he's a wonderful person. But our relationship doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I sometimes think I actually have deeper feelings for him than he does for me, which bums me out.\n\nSome times I find myself thinking about being with other guys, or wondering if there's someone out there who would make me feel as loved as I want to be. Even when my boyfriend is lovey-dovey with me, I almost don't believe him. Because he isn't expressive with his feelings and I think he just gives me attention when he notices me being distant.\n\nI will never cheat on my boyfriend, I know that for sure. And I can't honestly say I want to break up with him. I want to be with him. But I want things from our relationship that just don't happen with him. He doesn't do anything to give me a reason to break up with him though, so I just feel like I have to just shut up and be happy he's as good as he is. \n\nI'm just torn and I don't feel like a really good relationship should make me feel like this. I don't want to end up married and bored of my marriage or wishing my husband would make me feel more loved, etc.", "summary": "Boyfriend and I have been together 2 years, relationship is good but I'm just not content and wondering if I should move on."} {"id": "t3_10mq0z", "subreddit": "books", "title": "Recommendations for Historical Context, Post-WWII?", "post": "Rather specific, but I feel like this is an area where my knowledge (and likely the knowledge of my peers who also went through the public school system) is greatly lacking. One comprehensive book would be absolutely ideal (I'm short on funds, what can I say?) but if I can even get a list of a few very great sources to add to a wishlist, I would be greatly appreciative.\n\nOver 12 years in the public school system we've gone over a great, great span of works and history. From the Sumerians and Egyptians, past the history of Ancient Rome, through the medieval ages, up to the Renaissance. We did plenty of American History studying the Civil War, World War I, and World War II as well as learning about the role that other countries took in these wars.\n\nHowever, I've found that my knowledge about world history gets rather foggy from this point on. In fact, I only barely remember discussing the Cuban Missile Crisis our senior year of high school.\n\nI'm looking for something that can help bridge the gap between WWII and the time when I started to become aware of what was happening around me. I feel as though I really ought to know this more recent history so that I can place current events in a historical context.", "summary": "I would love to learn more about Vietnam, the American (And Russian) roles in the middle east, The Cold War, and *especially* those things that I haven't yet realized that I ought know about."} {"id": "t3_3440tk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my GF [20 F] of 6 months, decided to take a break today. Need advice.", "post": "Today, my girlfriend and I of 6 months decided to take a break. I figured it was in our best interest, as for the past week or so I have felt differently about her, almost as if the love we had was lost. I could not think of what else to do, other than maybe we needed some time apart to collect our thoughts and figure out what we can maybe do.\n\nWhat I need to know, is was this the right decision? I felt awful talking to her about it, because I know she is crazy about me and I was at one point too. She was in tears today and I felt so bad. It just seems weird to me that my feelings can just seem to vanish out of thin air when she really has not done anything wrong. She has been a great girlfriend and does a lot for me. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "I took a break with my GF of 6 months today, and want to know if I made the right decision. My feelings have felt differently the past week or so, and it seems to be for no reason."} {"id": "t3_2k9e8a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend(M16) and I(F16) are receiving complaints about PDA, what to do?", "post": "Sorry if layout is weird, i'm on mobile.\n\nMy boyfriend (we'll call him James) and i eat lunch with his friends every day, we've been doing this since before we started dating because i was friends with them before we were an item. Recently we've been getting shit for \"being annoying\" to the point where i was told by one of his friends not to come with them to an event i'd been excited for because \"no one wants to see that\" and we've had people just get up and leave when we kiss hello. \n\nNow i know this is a grey area for a lot of people, and as teenagers we're known for being gross, but we dont see how what we're doing is all that offensive. During lunch he sits with his arm around me and we maybe kiss a few times but its generally a second long peck on the lips, nothing major. We kiss hello and goodbye but generally wait until we've parted ways with friends and make sure to keep it below a count to three. I can understand being grossed out by pda when people are really going at it, or being annoyed when they aren't interacting with the group, but we're being pretty chill and actively participating in the conversation. This is literally more reserved than we are around my parents. None the less we're appertently really bothering his friends. \n\nJames is a pretty affectionate person and i really enjoy it, it feels wrong to tell him to cut back when we're already being pretty reserved (as far as we're concerned) and other people are the only ones having any objection to it. James thinks they're being unreasonable and doesnt care if they're annoyed, i on the other hand feel awful about it and feel like i should stop going to lunch with him so as not to bother them. The problem with this is that James insists that if i leave he's coming with me and i feel like they would have even more of a reason to resent me if they think their friend has stopped hanging out with them so that he can be gross with his girlfriend.", "summary": "Bf and i are annoying friends with pda, dont know if we're gross or they're immature, regardless i'm trying not to be a bitch about it how can we solve this."} {"id": "t3_12nb4n", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "OMG, i think she's finally getting it!", "post": "We have a ~7.5 month old Cocker Spaniel named Leeloo. She's cute as hell, but not the brightest bulb in the box. We got her when she was 4 months old from a pet store (I know, bad plan...puppy mills and all that...anyway)...she has been SO slow to potty train and I have posted here a number of times looking for help. The advice was great (and reinforced what I had already researched) but the going was slow.\n\nWe decided to start using the bells on the door. For 2 months we rang them every single time we went out to go potty in conjunction with the potty command. The first time she rang the bells was right *after* she peed by the door. The next couple times were sporadic at best, and not always *before* she had to go. Then one day, she rang to go out and actually peed! Then later that day, she did it again 2 more times! (Big rewards and loves were had). Since then, she has had very few accidents! \n\nWe are just now experimenting with giving her a wee bit more freedom...I got another set of bells and hang them over the side of the gate wherever we are sectioned off at. She has been using them to let me know that it's time to go out. We have also moved the gate so that she has access to the bells on the door and she has used them as well. :)\n\nI can't believe she is finally getting it and I am super excited that it won't be *too* long before she can be \"free\" in the house and not tethered to me the whole time or gated in or crated when I can't watch her.", "summary": "thanks for all the advice and encouragement to just hang in there and be patient. Leeloo is finally getting potty training!"} {"id": "t3_q266y", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Job search crisis. I need some perspective reddit.", "post": "Here is my issue:\n I have a college diploma as a power engineering technician and have applied to the only job related to my field in my area. It's a very prestigious job. Lots of money. Could work there for life. My issue is that 250-300 people are being interviewed for the same position. There will be approx 60 positions. \n\nI don't know if my interview was good enough. My current job is minimum wage fast food. I may end up not finding out I didnt get hired untill august. \n\nMy other option is the navy. The Canadian military is in need of maritime engineers and that fits my diploma. Nothing is keeping me in my area accept the possibility of this other job.\n\nI could wait 6 months to find out I have been waiting on a refusal, and becoming an engineer in the navy could give me experience I could come back with.", "summary": "waiting on job response, not sure if going to get, should I become a naval engineer for experience and progress forwards instead of waiting on my life?"} {"id": "t3_3nf2pq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [25M] is not conventionally physically attractive, but has a great personality. Advice for how to support his love life?", "post": "One of my oldest friends has just been dumped after a brief series of dates, the first he's had in a long while. He's very upset.\n\nHe has bad teeth, is overweight and has some other physical issues (acne etc.). He is however a wonderful, sweet person with a very giving personality. He is gay, which means he is having to navigate dating in the very shallow world of Grindr male hookups and so forth. He barely ever gets any attention. I see him being passed over time and time again by guys who think he's a great friend but just can't see him in a romantic way.\n\nI don't want to ask about how to solve this problem - obviously there's not any quick fix for this - but what would you do to help support and cheer up my friend after yet another rejection?", "summary": "My friend is a really great guy, but he has no luck dating because he doesn't look conventionally attractive. How can I support him and cheer him up?"} {"id": "t3_3ds23u", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not flirting with a girl", "post": "Right, it's a long story, but essentially I went on a week long course in my local area with a lot of people from further afield. I commuted in, the majority stayed in on-site accommodation. So on our last night, we all go drinking as a group, I crashed at the onsite accommodation, alone in my room. Go home the next day, long conversation with one lass from the course, start flirting, she's a solid 8/10 who's definitely up for it, and has been from the start. I didn't realise this, and now she's the other side of the country.", "summary": "I fucked up by not flirting, missing all the signals, and generally being antisocial, and ended up sleeping drunk and alone instead of playing hide the sausage with an 8/10"} {"id": "t3_12m6z3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(20) keep having dreams of me cheating on my SO(24).", "post": "I'm 20, he's 24 and we've been together (long distance) for 2 years at the end of this month. We do have an end in sight this coming January where we will move in together finally. Relationship is awesome, no big problems like cheating or anything like that. \n\nBasically, every night for a while now I've been having dreams where I cheat on my SO. I never think about this during the day and it never ever has crossed my mind while we have been together. These times where I cheat are weird, as in usually It's my ex before him or guys that I had brief crushes on, and while we may be naked getting ready to go at it (this has only happened when I dream of my ex), it always gets interrupted by something and it only ever goes as far as kissing. It's the same in dreams of my crushes, where all we do is kiss. \n\nSo, I don't think It's anything serious honestly, but I feel guilty when I have these dreams. Should I be worried about anything? Should I even tell my SO, though I don't think It's necessary? I'm not sure exactly how to stop dreaming about this, any ideas?", "summary": "I dream that I cheat on my SO very often but I would never do it in real life. Just need help deciding what to do, why I'm having them, and how to get rid of them."} {"id": "t3_16ehgk", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Move out of the fast lane or I'll make you move.", "post": "My commute home has its usual slow points, especially where a few of the freeways merge together before splitting; instead of a usual interchange. Once I clear these it's usually a straight shot to my exit. I live in the frigid north (Canada) so almost half of the year sees some snow on the ground, and a good share of drivers who are extra cautious and go under the limit. This isn't a problem, except that last section of highway is 3-lanes each way, and for some reason I run into a \"There's light snowfall, time to do 10 under!\" driver in the left (fast) lane who refuses to move over.\n\nI had one of these recently in a big SUV with a clear lane in front of her for half a mile, while the other two lanes pass her by. I changed lanes and passed, changing back so I could accelerate. I guess she felt I changed back to soon (someone passing me after I sat in the fast lane going 5 under, the nerve!) and flashed her highbeams at me. This ticked me off, since I hadn't cut her off, nor did I tailgate or flick my lights at her. \n\nMy revenge: foot off the gas pedal. We dropped to about 30 mph before she finally had enough and changed to go around me. I hit the gas and got back up to speed, while me and the rest of traffic continued on in an orderly fashion.\n\nCaveats and clarifications: \nWhile there were some traffic backups earlier on my route, this was a fast flowing section with plenty of room to change lanes, etc. The road does narrow and gets to a lighted intersection with a left turn, but this is several miles ahead. While there was some snow on the ground, this was average/expected driving conditions for this time of year.", "summary": "Don't go slow in the fast lane then flash your highbeams when you get passed; I slow down in front of you and force you to change lanes."} {"id": "t3_4p16ly", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend[21F] of 8 months wants me[21M] to consign for her new car", "post": "So I've been dating my gf for about 8 months now. Everything is great so far except for the fact that she is extremely irresponsible with money. She already has a crazy amount of debt for school, bank loans, and pretty bad credit, not to mention very little in savings because the second she gets her paycheck she spends it all. She wants to finance a new car and wants me to cosign because I have decent credit. I told her no because based on her inability to pay bills on time and actually save any money, consigning would be a very bad financial investment for me. She keeps nagging me to cosign, almost like she won't take no for an answer. I also figured (didn't say this to her) that if we break up in the future I wouldn't want my name/SSN/credit to be linked back to her. Am I wrong for not wanting to cosign?", "summary": "GF wants me to cosign for her car, don't think it's a good idea, told her no, she won't take no for an answer. "} {"id": "t3_y9dfu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [19] thinks she is a \"commitaphobe\" and wants to be single. I'm M [21].", "post": "Me [21] and my girlfriend [19] of about 3 months went out for dinner last night for my 21st birthday. Everything was going fine, kinda. The entire time I kept feeling like she was a bit off with me. When we got back to her place we watched some TV in her bed and as soon as it ended she simply rolled over and went to sleep. Although this was bad she is suffering from a pretty brutal cold at the moment which she said was putting her in a constant bad mood. Anyway the night was shit, we barely cuddled and she paid no attention to me. In the morning when she was showering, shun me if you may but I checked her facebook messages to her twin sister and saw her saying she was a 'commitaphobe' and 'wants to be single.' However she also said that it's nothing to do with me and that it's entirely her, she also says she hopes she snaps out of feeling like this. We went shopping today and she was in a shit mood all day, we kissed goodbye and she said she'd see me next week probably because she's working a lot this week. I said to myself I wasn't going to get in contact with her and I'd let her get in contact with me. She did today by sending me a facebook message basically saying she's sorry for being a moody bitch recently and that she's feeling much better from the cold. She also text me today asking if I was working tonight because she might come to the restaurant that I work at with her mum and sister, hopefully a sign that she wants to see me?\n\nAnyway I don't know what to do, breaking up with her is the last thing I want. How can I make her want to still be in a relationship with me? Part of me does believe what she said to her sister was when she was at the height of feeling miserable as fuck though.", "summary": "although she's never admitted to me, my girlfriend has mentioned that she wants to be single and that she is scared of commitment."} {"id": "t3_529o5m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21M] girlfriend [21F] of 1 year moved across the country, and seems more apathetic each day.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been friends for over 3 years and recently started dating about a year ago. Slightly before we started dating she had decided to move across the country with her roommate. Despite that we still both ended up developing feelings for one another and have had an amazing time dating for the past year and before she left we had agreed to attempt to have a long distance relationship until she comes back (She decided to probably move back in may). However the past month of her being gone my anxiety is getting hard to handle with her consistently meeting other guys off of tinder in an effort to make friends, and frequently goes out drinking and partying with them. It has gotten to the point now where i feel she has lost all feelings for me. She never texts back, is generally unpleasant during phonecalls, will abruptly leave without any form of compassionate goodbye, and gets angry anytime I mention this to her. We were friends before this and I really would like to date her if she moves back again. Is this something that is just a problem with myself not trusting her enough and completely normal? Or is this the beginning of the end for us?", "summary": "Decided to date girlfriend long distance till she comes back in may, she now seems totally distant and refuses to talk about it. Should I keep trying?"} {"id": "t3_49svqt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my new girlfriend [18 F] of 2months, I feel so much towards a girl until we become an item, then i instantly emotionally detach and feel trapped.", "post": "So i've never been in a relationship for longer than 8 months, obviously hit the dating scene pretty late compared to some at roughly 19 years old, my first girlfriend was obsessive over me and very lovey, she said \"i love you\" at roughly 3 weeks into dating, but me being the conflict avoiding person i am, said it back.\n\neventually i felt guilty because of my lack of connection and broke it up. The dating game for me has been very easy, lots of tinder hookups and dating sprees etc.. but i never really liked the emotional detachment of one night stands.\n\nThen i met this girl on tinder, We share the same profession so we connected on that immediately, lots of shared hobbies and some good chemistry between us. She has been very forward with her feelings since about 3 weeks into our dating life, and we together decided to partner up.\n\nEver since we made this decision i've been freaking out and needing a lot of \"alone time\" just because i feel trapped, she's introduced me to several friends and i've done the same, everyone thinks we're perfect for each other, and i agree.\n\nMy only problem is that i just don't feel anything towards her now, since the initial chase/rush from that has worn off i just feel distant, and with that distance i feel immense guilt because i know how she feels about me. \n\nI've begun to think i might just be a single-type person.", "summary": "every time i take a relationship out of dating phase i just feel way too much pressure from the girl and feel like it becomes one sided, (i feel nothing towards them) is there something wrong with me?"} {"id": "t3_2r1z2q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm(22f) upset over lack of agreed christmas present from my boyfriend(21m)", "post": "We've been together around 6 months. In early December he brought up Christmas presents, which surprised me slightly but I agreed. He mentioned them often throughout December. I spent a bit of time thinking about what would be a good present, and I hand made him an artwork (i'm an art major), a framed lino print of my own design of a poster for one of his favourite bands. I gave it to him before christmas and he was delighted, really loved it, he hung it up immediately. He said he 'hadn't had time' to get mine yet.\n\nIt's now past the new year, we've seen each other about four times since christmas day, and I haven't heard a word about my present. I have heard about all the awesome things he's bought/will buy with the xmas money he got from relatives, so I'm not sure the 'no time' excuse has much going for it anymore, if it ever did considering he had the whole of December. I'm not a fussy person, to me presents are about the thought behind them than anything else (which is why I hand make a lot of gifts). I don't care what the gift is, I just want something that shows he knows me and appreciates me. e.g. I'd be thrilled with a copy of a book he loves that I haven't read.\n\nSo I'm feeling pretty upset over this; and honestly, a bit used. I haven't said anything to him yet because I don't want to come across as ungrateful, but if he hasn't addressed this in another week I'm determined to bring it up. So any advice about how I can do this, what to say etc, would be great. Also if I'm reacting appropriately etc, how to not feel too upset about it would help too. thanks", "summary": "boyfriend asked if we could do christmas presents, I agreed and hand made him a gift. nothing in return. I'm upset and would like advice."} {"id": "t3_2ph5on", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24/F] think my boyfriend [26/M] takes it too far when we argue. [5 years] Or am I too sensitive?", "post": "When we argue, he thinks it's okay to call me things like a \"fucking bitch/whore/cunt\" and it's part of his MO to get in my face and yell insult after insult. \n\nI've never even called him an asshole. Personally, I think even in the heat of an argument, there are some things you just wouldn't say to your significant other -- because you love/respect them.\n\nToday, I brought it up and told him that it hurts my feelings when he talks to me that way. \n\nIn response, he said that he's not that kind of person but I bring it upon myself. \n\nSo, Reddit: am I being too insensitive or are there some lines of respect that should be recognized in a relationship?", "summary": "Boyfriend gets in my face and yells whore/bitch/cunt/etc. during arguments. I think it's wrong and disrespectful. He says I bring it upon myself."} {"id": "t3_4b6o3m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 M] with my GF [27 F] long-term live in, can't clean up after herself", "post": "I live with my GF in a house that we share. We've been together for several years now and I can't really take it anymore. Anything related to stuff she doesn't finish. \n\n \u00a0\n\nMy GF has this attitude of \"I'll do it later.\" She cooks and doesn't pick up the cooking detritus. She does her laundry and leaves her clothes on the laundry room floor/in the dryer. She spreads the contents of her purse on the kitchen table and never bothers to put it away. Every day when I come home from work I know the first thing I have to do is grab a broom/mop/rag and start cleaning and I am tired of it \n\n\u00a0\n\nI am not the neatest person in the world, and I am not perfect. But I know if leave grease and food on the stove we'll get roaches. I know that if the toilet is clogged I should unclog it. Every time I talk to her about completing tasks and cleaning up after the tasks I get a non-committal response and a \"I was planning on doing it.\" I'm tired of nagging her about it, and it is starting to negatively impact the relationship. What can I do, how can I talk to her?", "summary": "GF leaves things like clogged toilets, how do I get her to address these things in a timely manner and in an adult and mature manner."} {"id": "t3_30q8hj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [24M] get my ex-girlfriend [23F] back?", "post": "Two months ago she left me without any real notice. We've been together for 6 years. She was my best friend, we planned our future (marriage/children) together. Honestly, it was for the better to take a break. We both fought a lot over small things and each of us were having issues with ourselves. She was depressed and being distant which caused me to feel unwanted and to stop contributing to the relationship. It was a cycle that lasted for about a month. There was a loss of communication and thats when it went downhill and she left and moved out.\n\nFast forward to now, 2 months later. I've realized the mistakes I made and what I needed to change. I put myself ahead of everyone else and only cared about my interests. I was an asshole and didn't give her the interest she deserved. I don't blame her for leaving and like I said it was probably for the best that we take a break.\n\nNeedless to say I want her back. I don't want to jump right back into a relationship but I want to still talk to her with the hope of rekindling what we once had. The issue is, I have no way of contacting her. She blocked me on all social media, I don't know her new cell phone number, I have an email but she won't respond. She says that she doesn't want to talk because she doesn't think I changed and we tried before without it getting better. She only thinks about how much we fought and although she cares about me, has no desire to talk. I know this because she still talks to my mom. \n\nr/Relationships, what do I do? This wasn't just a girlfriend from high school, she was who I wanted to spend my life with - I still do. Im afraid I lost the person who made everything worthwhile. \"Theres other fish in the sea\". She was my sea.", "summary": "We took a break in our relationship and now she wants no contact with me because she thinks I didn't change. I want her back to at least talk to her but have no contact info."} {"id": "t3_146sq8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I've been ungrateful to parents who have wanted only the best for me for the longest time. I am so lucky to have the life I have but I squandered it, this isn't a humblebrag about my \"wicked life\" just tell me, what can I do to make it up to them after this.", "post": "I'm 17, leaving for University, and I've had epiphany after epiphany of how shitty i've beent to them, or how all the nice things they do I ruin with moods etc., I know there isn't a quick fix, but I want to do something nice. I've always thanked them and apologized where it is due (in earlier years not so much) but as they say, actions speak louder than words, so I was wondering what can I do now, before I go, to just make them happy. What can I keep doing, I know all the little things, doing chores, keeping my room clean, cleaning up after myself, helping around the house, but what's a big thing, for say christmas, or their birthdays, that I can do to make them happy?", "summary": "I AM GUILTY AFTER BEING A SHITTY SON AND WANT TO REPAY MY PARENTS AND MAKE THEM HAPPY, WHAT SHOULD I DO?"} {"id": "t3_11qoo9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Aerospace Engineers of Reddit: I've got a question. What do you do in your job?", "post": "I'm currently in year 10, hoping to go into a career working around and with helicopters, planes, or anything that flies. I'm looking into studying with the ADFA (Australian Defence Force Academy) largely because huge amounts of alleviated stress concerning fees, living costs and the such.\n\nSo my question is: What do you do in your job? It's a huge question for me, because I would absolutely love to be a job where I was directly working on aircraft (helis especially) in a mechanical or design aspect, or flying around in them (though I'm short sighted, so the odds aren't good). \n\nBasically, I would absolutely loathe to be sitting behind a desk all day directing people, or thinking about some completely boring but probably terribly important aspect of flying; I'd much rather get down and dirty with an engine or maintain aircraft, or design parts or engines to be more efficient/faster/stronger.\n\nFor my year 12 subjects, I'll be studying physics, chemistry, english, systems engineering and all three levels of maths from low level to high level. I'm no dummy by any means, and do very well academically, so it's not a huge issue in that department.\n\nI'm wondering whether any of you can tell me about what you do or give me advice on what career path I should perhaps focus on instead, whether it be mechanical engineering, or electrical engineering, I really don't know.", "summary": "Describe your job and whether you are a sitting behind desk person or a hands on/down and dirty/involved designer and engineer."} {"id": "t3_16zgia", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "BF [20M] ended things because I [22F] don't like to party like he does. Do I try and work it out?", "post": "A seven month relationship, which has been excellent both romantically and physically, until a few weeks ago when he started distancing himself.\n\nI had surgery last week, and he never came to see me during my recovery. When I asked him why, he got defensive. I knew something was up.\n\nLast night was the first time we had seen each other all week, and just before I leave to head home, he says \"we need to talk.\" He then claims that the fact that I choose not to party (I only drink on occasion, and I don't smoke pot like he does, extensively) has put a damper on our relationship, because he wants to do it all the time, but doesn't as much because I don't approve. He didn't even give me the opportunity to really discuss it with him, or try and compromise on something, like a normal relationship calls for... he drew a line in the sand and basically said, \"It's your values or me.\"\n\nAm I wrong for feeling hurt/betrayed here? To break up with me over something so stupid makes me wonder if he meant anything he said to me over the last 7 months. (To make it even more awkward, we work together.) Is it worth it to try and make this work?", "summary": "Apparently getting high and drunk with his burnout friends is makes him happier than I do. Move on, or make it work?"} {"id": "t3_z846k", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Being alone used to be nice...", "post": "...but now that I've experienced what I thought was a happy relationship, I can't enjoy the things I used to anymore. Hours of gaming, spontaneous biking trips, weekend movie marathons, etc. I used to be fine spending all my free time in solitude because I loved having control of everything, but after my last relationship I want so badly to be with someone, to share and do all those things with them, that being alone just isn't fun anymore.\n\nNot enough time has passed yet, and I hate waiting to feel normal again. Some days are better than others. I finish a big project at work, I buy something nice for myself, I exercise and feel good, I eat muffins my mom sent me, all for a temporary contentedness. Then I want to share my successes with someone, and remember that I have no one. I tell my friends, and they congratulate me, but they don't really care because they're busy with their own lives.\n\nThen the sadness creeps back in, starting quietly and building up as I remember I can't tell the one person I want, and worse, he doesn't want to share his stories with me. He doesn't want to see me or talk to me. He doesn't want me in his life anymore. My love for him wasn't good enough.\n\nI couldn't keep from crying if I tried, it hurts so much. A deep, clenching ache that fills my chest where the love used to be. This is all I have now, and all I will have for an indefinite amount of time. Rather than sobbing, hunched over on the floor like I was a few weeks ago, now the tears stream silently down my face, making the world a blurry, cold place as I feel my love, the greatest gift I could ever give someone, slowly slipping away into nothingness. It's such a waste, and it breaks my heart into pieces that will remain scarred long after I move on.\n\nSorry for the ranting, I'm just writing out how I feel in an attempt to release some depressing thoughts. Any reassuring words about the way life goes on are welcome.", "summary": "Not over recent breakup, things that used to be enjoyable aren't anymore, keep getting set back because I want my other half to share life with."} {"id": "t3_2slh7g", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Feeling bummed out about not getting into a CSU.", "post": "So I applied to a particular CSU and they told me I didn't meet the qualifications to be considered a transfer student, mainly that I didn't meet the \"Golden Four\". I thought this was ridiculous, because another CSU I applied to accepted me; naturally, I submitted an appeal. Now I finally got another letter, and this time they are saying that I don't have enough units. Which REALLY sucks.\n\nHere's the thing: the CC I'm attending gave me equivalent credit for just a few classes that I took at an online school. 12 units total. These didn't \"transfer,\" but instead I needed to petition to get equivalent credit granted. So I got the classes credited to my transcript as as the classes \"Art 103\", \"Psychology 1\" and so forth. I'm getting my associates and my CSU GE certified, so I'm confused and discouraged. One school accepted me, another didn't (which is the one that I REALLY wanted to go to).\n\nI don't mind going to the school that accepted me (Humboldt), because I've always wanted to go to that campus. But the school that rejected me was my #1, and also waaay better at the major (Comp Sci). I guess, I just want to get out my frustrations and maybe get some outsider opinion here. Any thoughts?", "summary": "I got rejected from a school for not meeting the \"Golden Four\" or having enough units, even though a school from the same system (CSU) accepted me. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_1rvut0", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Stress after stress..", "post": "Things have been so hectic lately. Found out my brother has autism so we have to go through so much training and housework so that his therapists can come over 8hrs a day for an entire year. That stresses me out so fucking much, but I know it's worth it for my brother. Also, we're adding another family member to live with us and she's pretty dominant. I'm used to doing my own business and working at my own pace, but now everything's changing. I'm going to a new school next month and I can't get over my anxiety. I've been trying to learn to cope with it for a long ass time. I'm currently in a LDR and I truely do love him. I spend my time thinking of what to do for him, how to keep him interested, how to stop being clingy. He's going through a rough patch in his life and I'm trying my best to be there for him without mentioning any of my stress. I just want him to be happy. But he gets really insecure sometimes. I wish he'd trust me and realize I'd choose him over anyone. Yeah, it's \"easy to cheat\" in his perspective, because he's always drunk and partying. I don't mind him partying at all. But when he sends me drunk texts saying there's so many \"bitches on his dick, but he's staying loyal\" gets me real paranoid despite the fact that he's saying he would never cheat, even if he were drunk. It's kind of hypocritical, tbh, and he's very opinionated and can't understand why people do things unless he's been in their shoes completely. It kind of irritates me. Also, him and all my friends are always under the influence when we go out, but of course I have to be the sober one. The weenie. I get so jealous sometimes when that happens because I don't want to be sober. I really fucking want to be on their level and stop being the babysitter, but I'm trying to cope with my mentality at the same time (drugs and alcohol are what made me this way). The only thing that's helping me move forward is that I'm going to this really big event with everyone. After that, it's back to the stress.", "summary": "Stressing over big changes, new housemate, trying to keep SO happy, coping with anxiety, staying sadly sober, ect."} {"id": "t3_2d4uiy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (f/19) go about reconnecting with an old bestfriend (f/18)?", "post": "This friend (Allie) and I were great friends since 7th grade up to last December. I sort of stopped connecting with her since I started college and she was still going to community college in our hometown. I felt like I couldn't relate to her anymore and when I tried talking to her again it felt like she didn't like me. \n\nIn December Allie invited me to her brother's concert which I happily brought along my friend. My other friend got a text message from her friend who was helping with the concert that she didn't want me to go. I got dressed and went still since that was what I was going to do. Our interactions were awkward and strained and I have not talked to her since. \n\nLately, I've been wanting to talk to her and see how she was doing. I thought I wouldn't care but something compels me to see her. So today I contacted her to do a temporary tattoo since she does those in exchange for money. I was hoping to reconnect with her at this time. Does anyone have tips on how I should do this? Or should I just let the leaves fall. Thank you", "summary": "How do I reconnect with an old best friend who I lost contact with last year? Tips? Comments? Concerns?"} {"id": "t3_1v2zvz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How exactly would you cope?", "post": "Tomorrow is going to be my sixteenth birthday. My dad lost his job of 22 years the week before Thanksgiving of this past year (2013), and it's been entirely tearing my family apart. My parents have been married for an entire 30 years and due to my father's attitude towards this whole thing, I think they're about to call it quits. I will not go into detail about how actually shitty of a dad my father is, but I will say that I never actually expected them to get divorced. I figured that since they've been married for so long, they'd figure something out.\nNow I still haven't seen any divorce papers or anything, but I actually think they're about to do it.\nMy dad has been smoking for over 20 years, and both my parents have been drinking for over 30. My mother has always been able to control herself when it comes to drinking, and she really does care about my brother and I. My father, on the other hand, is practically the opposite. I actually feel empathy towards my brother because he basically grew up without a dad. I don't know if I'd be able to do it. It would be like me growing up without my mom, and that just fucks with my head. \nMy dad has since stopped eating almost all together. Some days he won't eat anything, other days he'll hardly eat a half of a sandwich or a very small amount of his dinner. He's honestly dying before my eyes and I don't really know how to cope.\nThere's so much left of the entire story that I plan to leave unknown, but my entire situation is beyond my control and, I guess, understanding. Basically I would love to know how someone else would most likely cope in this situation.", "summary": "My parents of 30 years of marriage are about to split due to my drunk dad who lost his job recently. I don't really know how to cope. How would you?"} {"id": "t3_4w4l3r", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "How to deal with excessive comments on weight loss?", "post": "So I've lost about 15lbs but gained some muscle, and I'm unsure exactly how much *fat* I've lost other than, I assume, more than what the scale tells me (2 pant sizes down, which is a better indicator). It's very noticeable, but I have a long way to go. \n\nI've been getting congratulatory comments at work. A lot of them. In fact, my manager goes out of her way to say how great I look almost every single day, sometimes multiple times a day.\n\nIt's making me really uncomfortable. I try to just say thank you and ease the conversation in other directions, but the subtle brush-off clearly isn't getting the message across.\n\nI honestly wish I hadn't mentioned that I was trying to lose weight at all (mentioned it offhand once months ago when declining the offer of a candy from a coworker). She draws attention to everything I eat or don't eat. Sometimes it's teasingly, but mostly it's comments meant to be encouraging/supportive. But it's *all the time*.\n\nI don't want to speculate on why she feels the need to comment so much. She is a larger woman herself and I think perhaps she is overcompensating on some jealousy, but she maybe just really is trying to be supportive. Which is very kind, but I'm still uncomfortable. I don't like attention.\n\nHas anybody else found themselves in a similar situation? What have you done or what would you do? Is there a polite way to request that she mind her own business...? \n\nThis feels like a very silly problem to have, but I'm at a loss as to how to handle it in a professional environment. If it were a friend I could be very straightforward, but at work I like to keep my life rather private.", "summary": "What to do about excessive comments on weight loss? I am feeling more self-conscious now than when I was heavier."} {"id": "t3_19cdyp", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[22M] making a move on [19F], no prior dating experience. Probably hopeless.", "post": "College student, non-US so please pardon my language. \n\nIt's a new semester and we started having lectures with students from other faculties. I may say I'm lucky - 160 students, only 20 guys, rest are girls. One particular caught my eye - a bit nerdy girl from other faculty (we don't have classes together, just 4 lectures). I could easily tell she's kinda shy, doesn't really talk to other students. I went through her FB profile, apparently she's a huge Star Wars fan, also watching anime and playing computer games - every redditor's dream ;]\nAlso she doesn't appear to be very social - kinda a basement dweller, if you will.\n\nNow, about me - 22M student, started college late. I don't have problems being social, going out to parties, speaking to women etc. I was shy, but now I'm masking it/faking confidence pretty good. Never had any relationships whatsoever. Never went though \"normal\" process like holding hands, only interaction I had was two one night stands while drunk. I'm completely hopeless when it comes to any dating, and I don't believe \"going alpha\" just like the dating manuals on the internet suggest would work in this case. \n\nNow, how do I proceed? We have no common friends, only 4 lectures a week (could go to her faculty's extra lectures since anatomy and medical stuff interests me, though I don't want to push it too far and appear desperate). I was thinking about sitting next to her or something and like watching Star Wars on my phone during the lecture (since I do watch a lot of movies/TV shows that way), but that's kinda childish (I think).", "summary": "22M (me) and 19F (she), both typical geeks, me having no dating experience, only seeing her 4 days a week, WAT DO."} {"id": "t3_4hirpy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17m] with my girlfriend [17f] of 6 months, her parents called me a liar and such like.", "post": "a little bit of backstory to my life, my parents have divorced and it wasn't great and now my dad lives on the other side of the globe. He came down and visited for 1 week last month, my gf wasn't allowed to see me during that time due to her parents wanting to protect her from my life. (She was never going to meet my dad, and never will) her parents also said loads of negative stuff about me and how I have a \"dysfunctional family\". \n\nI also get migraines and have a condition called EDS (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) this means my joints regularly dislocate and hurt. My hip has been out for about 4/5 months and it finally went back in a few weeks ago. Her dad being a doctor said it never came out and I was lying about it, despite being in pain and having a limp for that long, and there was a visible problem with my hip. He also said for a hip to come out it needs to be a high speed accident and needs surgery to be put back in. \n\nWith the migraines, my gf was round my house yesterday, I got a migraine so her parents had to pick her up (I should've driven her home). So her dad came and picked her up and she left me asleep. \nHe then complains saying I should've driven her home despite my vision being impaired. I am not driving with my vision not being perfect. \n\nThey've a\nSo said I am not ambitious despite being more intelligent than their daughter and helping her out in some of her a levels. I am also wanting to be become a chiropractor.\n\nI really don't know what to say or do Reddit. Being called a liar really hurt and I don't really want to see or speak to her parents again before something happens.", "summary": "Mandatory summary/question! Girlfriends parents accused me of lying as they know better due to her father being a doctor..."} {"id": "t3_30jn4t", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Neighbor keeps telling the cops my car is abandoned", "post": "My wife and I live in a quiet little neighborhood in a quaint Chicago suburb (Plainfield). We have an 18month old and a baby on the way due in early May. We have 2 Honda accords - small for a growing family. I recently bought my wife a Toyota Highlander for more space. I'm planning to sell one of the Accords but haven't had a chance yet due to everything going on at home and work as well as the weather. \n\nWe live in a townhouse that's one of four connected units. \n\nI have the Accord I plan to sell parked in a public spot about 50 feet from my unit. The problem is that one of my neighbors (I suspect the crabby old lady that has called the police on us before for parking too close to her house and whose unit is directly near the spot I parked in) keeps calling the police and claiming that my car's an abandoned vehicle. Nobody has asked us to move out car. We live in a little parkway area and it's just 8 townhouses (two 4-unit structures) that share 4 public parking spots...which are usually empty because everyone parks in their garages or driveways. Everyone in our little parkway knows our cars.\n\nBoth times the police came they left without taking any action. The car is obviously not abandoned and I move it every few days or so. There is nothing illegal about my use of the space as its a public spot. There are three other spots still empty every day. My concern is one of these days an officer may come when I'm not home and will tag my car with a tow notice because all he/she knows is that somebody called in an abandoned vehicle. How do I get the crabby old woman (I'm positive it's her...she's the only neighbor that's unfriendly and rude) to leave us alone and stop calling in our car which she definitely knows is not abandoned?", "summary": "my neighbor knows my car but keeps calling it in as an abandoned vehicle. Cops just leave without taking action because its obviously not an abandoned vehicle. How do I get the suspected neighbor to leave me alone?"} {"id": "t3_1dyqk4", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[F19 and M21] He takes forever to respond to my texts, and is still in contact with his ex...", "post": "We're not really in a relationship yet, but we've gone out a handful of times over the course of 3 weeks, and seem to be hitting it off nicely. I really like him, and I don't want to seem distrusting, but I think something might be amiss. He is in contact with his ex, his ex still comes over, and once his ex even came over while I was at his house! What gives? We're not really a couple, so am I even in the right for worrying about this? He posts to his twitter while I'm still waiting for his texts so I know he's not as busy as he'd have me think. Any kind of insight into this would help. I know parting with an ex can be difficult, but should I say something? Maybe I could ignore the texting bit, he might be playing hard to get...\nPlease talk to me, I don't know what to do, or if I should even do anything!", "summary": "Boyfriend-to-be hangs out with his ex, and gives me shady excuses for not texting me back (probably just more hangin out with the ex), but seems genuinely interested in me. What should I make of this?"} {"id": "t3_zx32t", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Need a tip on taking out a subsidized student loan to pay down high interest rate credit cards", "post": "Hello, so I am currently a 22 year old Accounting major in my senior year with a part time job. I have been blessed with awesome parents who pay for my rent and school fees but leave \"free spending\" money on my shoulders, they sometimes help me out if I am having a rough patch but I do not like to ask for their help since they have done so much for me. \n\nSo I opened up some credit cards and within the last two years have racked up around $2500 in credit card debit at an APR of roughly 25% since I had no credit before this. My family is middle class and so I do not qualify for fincial aid but I do qualify for subsidized student loans at a fixed rate of 3.4%. \n\nMy question to you all is: Is it a good idea to take around $7500 in student loans ( $5500 at 3.4%, $2000 at 6.8%) to pay down my increasing credit card debt, which is not going away anytime soon, and to supplement my part time job? I feel like this is a good idea for me and makes logical sense but I don't know anything about student and their market and don't want to make a mistake I will regret later.\n\nAlso one tag-a-long question: My friend told me that you build your credit rating faster but not fully paying off your credit cards all at once but instead make payments above your minimum payment but not too much, is this true?\n\nThanks for the help guys and girls!", "summary": "Should I take out a subsidized student loan of 3.4% to pay down my increasing credit card debt at 25%"} {"id": "t3_4ne76q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24M] not understanding if [20F] Wants to date me.", "post": "I met this girl we had a drink and really liked each others we stayed hours talking on the first date.\n\nThen for a month we werent able to see each other because both had stuff but we texted from time to time like once a week.\n\nThen second date we had a drink, she kissed me before I dropped her home before I tried to do it.\n\nThird date two days after we had a drink and kissed her again and she smiled like if she was happy then dropped her home again. And she said smth like \"we keep in touch bye\".\n\nBut if I dont text this girl first she doesnt text me, and I really like her so I don't want to text her too much to be annoying, I really want to.\nThe thing is that now she has lots of exams and is studying all the time. The summer is coming soon also and I want to understand whats going on before we leave.\n\nI dont understand if she really likes me or not that much since she doesnt text me if I don't. Its been 5days since we last texted and she told me how much she was studying from 9am to 2am.\n\nMaybe we just started dating or maybe we were just playing around, I'm not understanding. The lack of communication is killing me, I really like her so I dont want to ruin things by looking obsessed about her.", "summary": "I had 3 dates with this girl, I really like her but she never textes me first, We text 1 a week usually. I dont understand if she really likes me."} {"id": "t3_4v25ho", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 F] just left my [18 M] long distance boyfriend, feeling miserable and needing some tips to cope", "post": "So I know a lot of people may not take me seriously because I'm only 18, but I'm so sad right now. I just spent the past week with my boyfriend (who's also 18 and lives 4 hours away) and left very early this morning, and I've been a mess ever since. We've been together for a year and a half but this is the longest I've ever spent with him, and it just made going home so much harder because I got a real taste of what it would be like if we lived close. I've been crying on and off ever since I left, and any time I think about him or when I'm going to see him next I start to tear up. Weirdly enough I've never felt this awful leaving him, but I already miss him so much and it's so hard knowing that the next time I'll see him is probably months from now. Even after all this time and all this distance, I'm still head over heels for him. \n\nI'm trying to just be grateful for the time I spent with him because I loved every second of it, being with him makes me so happy. But it's really hard, I feel so lonely already and I've only been home for a little bit. I don't have many friends at home (long story) so it's sad knowing that the one person I enjoy spending time with most isn't going to be around. I know it could be worse, I know that there's other couples out there who don't see eachother for years. \n\nWe try to FaceTime every night as long as one of us isn't busy, but it just isn't the same as actually getting to be together in person.\n\nAny tips to cope and stop being so sad? :(", "summary": "I'm pretty much a puddle of tears after leaving my boyfriend early this morning and I already miss him so much and don't know what to do with myself."} {"id": "t3_2p5mbt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21F] am very concerned with my ex boyfriend's [20M] driving habits. Advice.", "post": "I don't even know where to begin here. \nBut we shall go with the short version. \n\nMy exboyfriend who is person I am seeing (but is not actually my boyfriend) has horrible driving tendencies. \n\nWe dated for three years and got our licenses at around the same time. We've been broken up for the last two but have essentially been dating without being official most of that time. So I've been around him consistently to see his habits. \n\nWhen we got our licenses, I was always the more cautious driver. Whether it be testosterone or what have you, he drove more riskily. \n\nIt didn't bother me so much when we lived in our home town. It was just mostly speeding. \n\nHowever we have since moved to a different state and have been seeing more of each other in the last few months and I've noticed his driving has become much worse. \n\nHe has a lot of road rage and will try to antagonize drivers who he feels have wronged him. He tails cars constantly. He swears at them. He swerves from lane to lane, speeding. \n\nI just do not feel safe in the car with him. And I hate just being the car at all when he's driving. I just feel my blood pressure rocket. I want to close my eyes the entire time. \n\nHe knows I don't like. But he thinks I am a lame driver because I follow the laws and drive safely. \n\nWe're looking to get back together eventually but I'm starting to feel this is a deal breaker. Is it?", "summary": "Homeboy drives like a fucking maniac and I have heart attacks in the car with him. Is this a deal breaker in getting back into a serious relationship with him?"} {"id": "t3_494n86", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Just Found Out My GF Is In Serious CC Debt", "post": "So, today I sat down to make myself a handy-dandy spreadsheet to figure out my monthly payments, understand where/how I am really spending, and figure out how to maximize what I am putting away, based on my semi-monthly paycheck. My GF was shy to the idea, and as we dug into what she had to pay each month, the Credit Card bills just kept piling up. It's roughly $20k in debt, spread across 6 different cards. I've always done my best to never spend money I do not have, but upon finding this out - aside from her being super depressed about her value as a human (something I have vehemently protested) - I am wondering what the best way to solve for this debt is. She doesn't make a lot, and about 80% of her monthly income is going towards necessities, leaving her little room to pay off her 6 different cards. At best she pays minimums, but even then can't afford them all.\n\nHow can we solve this? What's the best plan of attack? Her cards are close to maxed out so there's no wiggle room to consolidate. Is bankruptcy the right option here?", "summary": "My GF is $20k in debt on credit cards alone, and can only pay minimums on some of the (6) cards each month. What is the best way to get this debt wiped clean?"} {"id": "t3_40dq0g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29 M] wish my very handsome boyfriend [25 M] of 3 years, to depend more on me, or show me more love.", "post": "We've been together for over three years, it is independent super, super yummy and beautiful, he has many friends, is very outgoing, and everyone, and at the time anyone meets him, starts to like him. And I'm very introspective, average body, like most of being alone, etc.\n\n---\n\nTwo years ago, I caught him sending nude photos to another man. I cried a lot, in short, as we live together, we ended up coming back, but I was never able to full trust him again. Time passed, and I believe that this feeling only worsened.\n\n---\n\nI like him very much, and I know he likes me a lot, but I feel that I am just another person in the sea of people that his life is, I know we're together, and he's with me because he wants to be with me, that's what he keeps telling, but I can't help to think every time that he goes out, that he's with another guy.\n\n---\n\nI wanted to feel more loved, or to feel that I was more important to him, you know, that without me he could not exist. I know this is very sick, but I don't feel love from him, or that he needs me for something, after all, he could have any guy he wanted, any time he wanted.", "summary": "Boyfriend is very hot, smart, nice and I think he could get any guy he wants. I wish he depended more on me, so I could feel loved."} {"id": "t3_3ha46j", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "2 Job Offers. 2 Fortune 500 companies. No bad choice, still tough decision.", "post": "Ok so background. I am currently about to enter my senior year of college and I have done 2 internships at a very reputable fortune 500 company. They offered me a position, in downtown San Francisco starting at 85k, 10k signing, and 10k equity vested over 3 years. \n\nThey have a decent relocation package that would basically cover my airfare and shipping out a car. On top of all that i've made a name for myself at this company, and also have the 100% backing/trust of a VP. \n\nThe other offer is with a fortune 500 tech company that is world renowned and has been voted number 1 place to work almost every year for the past 10 years. (Take a guess) \n\nThey have offered me a very entry level basically tech support position that could blossom into another real better position with enough networking/hard work (which i'm confident I can do). However, another thing to keep in mind is that this is a 2 year fixed term employment. \n\nThey are offering me 50k with a 5k raise for the second year with full benefits of the company (free food, health care, dental, etc.)\n\nThe thing is, the lower offer is my dream company (as many people my age) and I have always wanted to work there. However, I really like the first company also and wouldn't mind living in SF at the ripe age of 21 making that much. Not to mention all the help my VP boss would give me moving up the ranks.\n\nSO essentially this is the classic, take the money and good starting point or try for a fresh start (keep in contact with people at the old job for a fall back plan) and try to ride the opportunity train to something I probably couldn't even imagine.", "summary": "Two big companies want me, one is a great job that pays well. The other is my dream company but not my dream job , but there is a lot of room for opportunity/growth. "} {"id": "t3_exzrp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I being overly stereotypical/judgmental?", "post": "First, my apologies if this isn't really the proper forum for this question as it isn't regarding an already established relationship but rather the prospects of one.\n\nMale, 24 - subject in question is Female, 23. It is someone who works in my company and we've chatted a little bit (do not see each other very often), she friended me on Facebook but we haven't talked outside of work (she started several months ago). Couple discussions about music and maybe finding a good show, but nothing panned out.\n\nPart of me trepidation, and the reason for my asking of advice, is she appears to be devoutly religious. Facebook is somewhat littered with various quotes from the Bible and giving thanks to the Lord etc. She reads her Bible at work. Myself and my group of friends are very much at the other end of the spectrum and on a weekend party we are often doing drinking games and then heading to some bars...generally getting rowdy. I know that being religious doesn't equate to being overly conservative/prud'ish but I have to play the odds it seems...\n\nShe asked if anything was going on this Saturday -am I setting myself up for a disaster by inviting her to a party? I've dealt with some very religious people and have often not meshed with their perspective on things but am I going overboard with my trepidation?", "summary": "I am often irreverent and immature and am more than happy to imbibe. Am I setting my self up for problems by pursuing a very religious girl?"} {"id": "t3_syd6r", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the most awkward thing to happen to you whilst having sex?", "post": "So... having a night in with the ex-missus (Red) when her best mate (Gigantor) rings up demanding to come \"stay over\". Now Red is nice person so obliges, Gigantor comes over and we all settle down for the night.\n\nBed Time, issues arise! Red has 2 single beds in her bedroom (ahhh to be young) and they are pushed together :( Gigantor gets into one and myself and Red hope into the other one, but looks like no sexy time for Rodhands right?\n\nAHAH! Gigantor is snoring like a demon (no joking, earthquakes have been quieter than her snoring) and Red is doing a bit of \"propositioning\". Sexy times for Rodhands afterall :D So me and Red are getting our groove on, her on top, but staying nice and quiet so to not wake Gigantor.\n\nAll is going well and we are both nearly there when suddenly there is a flash.......\n\nGigantor was snapping pics of me and Red (her best mate) going at it. Queue massive awkwardness, though like a trooper I followed through to the end. We never spoke of it again.......", "summary": "Big girl sleeping next to me and ex having sexy time, big girl proceeds to take snaps like a amateur porn director."} {"id": "t3_2lw7wp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] planing on comming clean with girl [21F]", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nBefore we start I would like to say that please don't judge my actions seeing how I know I am the world`s biggest douche and should probably be shot for just doing something like this.\n\nIt all started last week when partying with my mates, as the night got older my head got more out of bounds, and I managed to hook up with another girl.\n\nThe problem is now, that I have no intention of hiding this as she deserves to know the full truth and I am aware of that I need to take the consequences of being an a**hole.\n\nI need to find a way of letting her know in the best way possible for her, as she moved to the city I live in and has no one except me to talk to except her family over the phone and suffers from major depression. I am basically all she has and I have major concerns for her own health after telling her.\n\nI want to call her parents and warn them whats about to go down and maybe have them travel down here so she can have someone to lean on when its going down, but don't know if its as good of an idea as it is in my head.\n\nAnyone got any advice on how to proceed the best way?", "summary": "Major asshole fucks up on a night of drinking, cheats on girlfriend, afraid of telling her cause of her major depression and not having anyone around, please help me brainstorm this."} {"id": "t3_3hrvi1", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Confused nonresident alien bought bonds as a resident alien", "post": "I did not see a \"fix a blunder\" weekly thread so I am posting this as a separate one.\n\nI am a student on an F-1 Visa in the US. I wanted to buy short term bonds online from solarcity instead of keeping my all my savings in the bank. I did so, however at the checkout page it asked me to confirm that I am a resident alien.\n\nI wrongly thought that I am a resident alien because I fulfill the \"substantial presence test\". What I did not know is that F-1 Visa holders are exempt from that test. I learned this only after buying the bonds. What should I do now?\n\nI think only the IRS cares about this, but I would not want to anger them.", "summary": "I am a nonresident alien and I bought bonds thinking I am a resident alien. What should I do to come clean out of this blunder?"} {"id": "t3_3ogtua", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "[SV] A small one", "post": "I have been kind of stuck lately, and it's my own fault. I was going slightly over my calorie goal each day, more and more, little by little, and my weightloss slowed to a crawl. I was losing a few ounces at each weigh in and I knew I could do better. I go to the gym every day, aside from sunday, and wear a fit bit which tells me what I have achieved and what I can still do food wise. So, while eating over my goal didn't hurt me, per say, it did throw me off the wagon a bit mentally. But this morning I weighed in at a whole pound down! I am slowly fighting my old habits trying to rear their ugly heads and maintaining my weight loss, and still losing. It's been so long since I saw real change on the scale, this sort of renewed my conviction for self control and good diet.", "summary": "If you are not seeing progress, giving up is the WORST thing you can do. Hang in there. Don't give up, because you're going to regret it."} {"id": "t3_1siv8u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(23/f) roommate(22/f) keeps inviting this guy over every single night to our apartment and every time he takes a dump, he never flushes. I don't know how to bring this up.", "post": "It's been going on for 2 months now, she claims he's not her boyfriend, but he's been coming over every single night for the past 2 months with the exception of her going home for the weekend. We only have 1 bathroom, which we both share obviously. Every time I go to the bathroom, the toilet lid is down and when I lift it up, I'm greeted with a foul stench and brown shit exploded everywhere. It's fucking disgusting. I highly doubt it's my roommate because we never had this issue before she started bringing the guy over. \n It's getting to the point where every time I go to the bathroom, I just flush a couple times before I open the lid. Now, here's where I've come to reddit for advice. How do I bring this up? My roommate and I aren't that close. We met via Craigslist. We only communicate when we have to split utilities. It's a pretty awkward subject to bring up to her. I don't want to sound weird. How do I resolve this?", "summary": "My roommates friend never flushes the toilet whenever he shits. Don't know how to tell this to my roommate, or how to bring it up."} {"id": "t3_1kf0pd", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do you deal with an office from hell?", "post": "Reddit, \n\nI know that I am a very privileged white male in a first world country and based on this I am at an advantage. Despite this, I'm having trouble living in today's world. My job is ok, but very depressing. The atmosphere makes me want to bring in a copy of Animal Farm as a statement. \"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others\". I'm tired of being treated like less of a person because of my job title. I'm tired of doing more for my employer and not seeing a raise of more than $30 a month since I got the job two years ago.\n\nI'm tired of today's world. People tell me I should just play the game and not worry and be happy. All the while, I see people lying, cheating, and stealing to get ahead in the \"game\" and sometimes I just wonder what the point of even \"playing a game\" where other players cheat to win. \n\nI just fantasize all the time about a world where people don't lie, cheat, and steal to get ahead and where we all can just live to help each other out and better ourselves and our species. All I ever see is the opposite and I just know that some day our greed will destroy us all. \n\nI don't know how to cope. I have a decent enough job, but is it enough? I want to just go live on a commune or something.\n\nBy the way, I have a degree in information systems. My job title is technology support technician, but my job is to process GI bill payments among other forms of payment, and provide customer service for billing questions. I sometimes get to replace a printer and thus \"provide tech support\".", "summary": "Reddit, what are your coping strategies for dealing with unfriendly people and the ways of today's world? Sure, we can ignore it, but is that enough?"} {"id": "t3_3pyc29", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I (20sF) bring up old \"drama\" with my former friend (20sF) to get some closure?", "post": "Hi, everyone. \n\nA couple of years ago, my (mid-20sF) best friend (also mid-20sF) \"friend-dumped\" me completely out of nowhere. We had known each other since early middle school but didn't become good friends until high school. Once we got to college, we became inseparable. For several years, we would talk constantly. We texted day and night and hung out with each other at least 4-5 times a week. We would have times when we would see each other less often if one of us were busy, but we were always very close. \n\nShe friend-dumped me completely out of the blue. We were texting about something and she suddenly stopped texting me. I didn't think anything of it because that's the point of texting, you can just do it when you have the time. Later that day, something really funny happened and I had to tell her about it. I didn't get a reply. A couple of days later, I still hadn't heard from her so I sent her a \"hey\" with another no response. That's when I realized what she had done. I tried to accept it gracefully, but I did, embarrassingly, send her a couple more \"hey\"'s over the following weeks just to see if maybe I was wrong. I wasn't. \n\nThis was in 2013 so a significant amount of time has passed. It's been on my mind recently. She was my best friend for such a long time and I haven't really made a lot of friends since then. It's hard not having any closure on why she decided to cut me out. It's especially weird because we were literally in the middle of having a conversation (via text) about something when it happened. \n\nI've been thinking about sending her a message on facebook to ask her if she wouldn't mind telling me what happened. I'm not trying to rekindle a friendship with her or anything, I just want to find out why. Is this a terrible idea? Should I just accept the fact that I can't get closure on everything?", "summary": "My friend cut contact with me very suddenly 2 years ago. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and would like to know why she decided to do this, but I don't know if it's a good idea or not."} {"id": "t3_33k3t7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] highly interested in [25 F ], trying to avoid friendzone, but dont know how?", "post": "Hey Reddit, \n\nNeed some advice. So this girl at work just started at her new position 2 days ago, today small talk with her ended up hanging out in her cubicle for a good amount of time just conversing (we hit it off pretty good, her being 25, and me being 23, one of the youngest people at the office). Now the hard part, I got her number and all and I'm wondering how can I address to a girl that I'm trying to be more than friends (not trying to be in the friendzone)? Like how long should I wait to make my intentions clear? I haven't been in a committed relationship for almost 3 years, so I'm pretty rusty in the dating game and what not. Any input would be appreciated! For what it's worth her body language was very compliant, she was twirling her hair, and laughing at all my jokes, and she seems very welcoming, and she's down to hangout", "summary": "new babe hired at the office, very chill, hit it off pretty good, not trying to get friendzoned."} {"id": "t3_1ajivk", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My long time crush(29/m) is single, and I(27/f) WANT HIM.", "post": "K, so I've had a bit of a crush on this guy for quite a while. He broke up with a girlfriend about 6 months ago, but before I could make my intentions clear (like, before his ex gf moved out) he started seeing someone else. Thats cool, hes a good guy and I value his friendship but I'm not prepared to pine for him.\n\nThen like a month later he was engaged. Yeah. Anyway, in the last week he's broken up with his fianc\u00e9e, and is available again, (yay!) but has said he wants a good long break before his next relationship, and I agree he needs one. I'm willing to be patient. (I really don't want to be a rebound. see above where I value his friendship.)\n\nBut he got snatched up so quickly last time, he really is quite a catch. I'm worried I'll miss the window of opportunity. \n\nSo what do I do? I'm tempted to take him aside, kiss the fuck out of him, and tell him to give me a call when he's next ready for a relationship. But that could get awkward and weird. I suspect he wants a fuck buddy relationship, and my hypothalamus is screaming at me that that's a terrible idea. I've loved someone who didn't feel the same way before, and its not fun. \n\nWe're both in the poly/kinky group of our little city, neither of us want a monogamous relationship, (I've been in quite a few, its hard, but fun) so ironically enough, if he was still with someone else I wouldn't worried about my feelings, but the fact that he's single and *available* for a proper romantic relationship... my lizard brain is telling me \"there be dragons.\" HELP MEEEEEEEE!", "summary": "He's quite a catch and I have competition. He needs time and space after his last relationship. What the hell do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1xhq14", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my boyfriend[34M] of 2.5 years. He's STILL married. Help!", "post": "He has been very honest with me early on, so i have known along that he was married but separated. At this point they have been separated for 4-5 years. She lives in Delaware and he lives with me in Arizona. \n\nThe issue is that they are still married. It used to not bother me at all when we werent super serious. In fact I only thought about it a few times a year when she came up. I know they are in contact but not much...maybe talk 1-2 times a year. So i know there isnt anything fishy going on in the romantic department. She is actually living with her bf and has a kid with him.\n\nIve tried to pressure him to getting divorced. We want to buy a house together, and i have told him that i wont do anything financial with him until the divorce is done. But he seemed kinda taken aback by this and didnt really understand why. I know he thinks she has good intentions and just hasnt gotten around to it, but i'm afraid she's going to try and get money from him. They have no dept, no house, and no kids binding them together. So i dont get why she wont do it. \n\nBefore he moved to arizona he agreed to do the divorce in delaware to be nice. Well he went back a few months ago, and suggest they do it then,but she said she wasnt ready. I guess she wants to get a lawyer since shes afraid he might try and get money from her (which he wont). She also doesnt have money to pay a lawyer. He's afraid to push the issue because he's too nice, and also doesnt understand that pretty soon it could be putting our future on hold. Ive tried to talk to him, but it doesnt really get anywhere. \n\nReddit, do you have any advice for me.", "summary": "BF is still married after being separated for 5 years. Wont get a divorce! Both him and \"wife\" are lazy and arent making it a priority."} {"id": "t3_4r040n", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Girlfriend [F/19] says she wants to things down with me [M/20] but I feel like I've lost her", "post": "So my girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 6 months. We moved quite fast, having sex within the first couple weeks and mutually exchanged \"I love you\" only about 2 and a half months in. She is very close with her family and meeting them was a big deal for her and I met them 3 and a half months in.\n\nEverything was going great, we spent 4-5 days a week with each other and talked all the time about anything and everything. Out of nowhere 2 weeks ago she says she feels like we need to slow things down so that we didn't mess up what we have and that she feels a little smothered. She wanted to hang out less and have sex less frequently and I said I was game for that as I understood where she was coming from.\n\nFast forward to the last couple days and I call her to talk about her day and see when we could hang out next. I brought up how I haven't seen her at all aside from her summer league volleyball games I went to in the last 2 weeks. She apologizes and she and when I brought up that I understand taking things slow but not seeing each other really at all isn't taking it slow, it's nil. She gets a little angry and says \"I guess taking things slow aren't working for you, maybe we should just take a break.\" I said that maybe we should just end it there if she thinks a break is necessary and she retorted by saying I was being stubborn about a break because, even though it usually means breakup, it doesn't with us. She then said \"we can talk more about this in the morning, I love you, goodnight,\" and hung up on me.\n\nThe next morning she takes back what she said and says she wants to just take things slow and that she loves me but that she has a lot going on in life and needs time to sort that out. She's been worrying about school and what she wants to do in life and is panicking because she has no idea.\n\nMy question is, have I lost her or is this taking it slow thing what she legitimately needs and that she does want to stay together?", "summary": "girlfriend of 6 months suddenly says we need to slow down, then says we should take a break, then takes back the break idea and says she wants to take it slow again. What does this mean?"} {"id": "t3_3ovndz", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "What to do while waiting for light at end of the tunnel?", "post": "In the past three months I've reduced my total debt from about $20,000 to $9,200. While it's possible I can do the same for the $9,200 with commissions I am not and have not budgeted for possibilities.\n\nI've budgeted out the next year based on my minimum income with no commission. This plan sees me debt free by August 2016. All of my expenses are covered, and any commission I receive moves my debt-free date forward.\n\nThe budget factors in savings, my HSA, and my simple IRA to get my employers max contribution.\n\nMy question is, now what? All I do is eat, sleep, work, gym, and repeat. I've deactivated Facebook, I don't party, I quit drinking, and I got rid of my car since I live in a metroplex and walk or uber pretty much everywhere I need to go. This actually costs less than having a car in my situation.", "summary": "What other steps can/do/have you take/taken once your plan and budget are in place and you're following it consistently?"} {"id": "t3_3sx9q9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [19F] of 5 months, I don't feel like she is devoting enough time to me.", "post": "Girlfriend and I started dated early this summer. She's great, I love her to pieces. I've had issues with shitty girlfriends in the past but even from the get go this relationship has been far better than the previous ones. \n\nThat being said, for those who are kind enough answer, I'd like to establish that I don't want to break up with her. \n\nNow to the issue. Girlfriend and I go to separate colleges. Fortunately hers is easily to drive to in a day and it has not been terribly difficult to visit this semester. We have a couple of set weekends, all scheduled from the beginning of the semester. \n\nMy weekends with her are the happiest Ive been since summer ended, again, shes great.\n\nBut recently her roommates (after two back to back weekend visits from me) have complained that they don't get to spend enough time with her. So she said OK, when he isn't here I'll make you guys.\n\nBut she has such a busy schedule normally that this means, when I am not physically with her, I get cut almost completely. This past week we barely talked at all. I had some important things to tell her that kept getting pushed to the side and it made me feel all kinds of terrible.\n\nLast night I got really upset and we argued briefly while she was watching a movie with her friends at school. She went out of the room to call me, I cried, it was a mess. \n\nBut during that call I asked that she give a little more when I'm not there. I dont expect hour long convos every other night, just every once in a while to talk and find out how each other is doing. It became obvious that this is not as important to her as it is to me. \n\nWe aren't currently angry with each other. We talked it out for a while, but it still feels super unresolved. I don't really know how to find a diplomatic solution to this issue. Would love help, feel free to ask questions.\n\nOkay I think that's everything.", "summary": "My GF and I are having long distance issues, there's just not enough time to go around and I'm getting cut. Would love advice on how to fix so everyone is happy."} {"id": "t3_3mmpmp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 6 months, she suffers from pretty severe depression and I'm worried she might hurt herself.", "post": "I have been with my girlfriend for about 6 months now, and for the first several months of our relationship, everything seemed to be going perfectly. But as it turns out, she has been depressed for longer than she can remember and just did a really good job hiding it until she trusted me enough to let me know about it.\n\nI am the only one she had ever told about it and she keeps it hidden from her parents because they are one of the biggest causes of her problems. They make her feel like she isn't good enough and don't listen to her with her problems and the whole situation is a mess.\n\nWith my encouragement, she sought out counseling at her college (we go to school about 5 1/2 hours away from one another). They recognized it as severe clinical depression on the first visit and she had been on antidepressants for a month now. None of them have helped, except Sertraline, which helped until she started breaking out in a rash that the nurses were afraid was a reaction to the medicine.\n \nSince getting help, she's had a lot of bad days and I can usually calm her down enough to not do anything drastic but sometimes I couldn't, and about a week ago she self-harmed for the first time, making small cuts on her upper thigh. I know this is a very bad sign.\n\nI'm worried she is going to hurt herself and I think she should go to the hospital to get straightened out but she never will because it would cause her parents to find out, as she is on their insurance.\n\nI really don't want her to hurt herself and I will not hesitate to call someone to show up to her place and make her go to the hospital if she is in serious trouble.\n\nMy question is: Who do I call in case something happens? On a weekend the counselors office she goes to isn't open so I can't call them. Additionally, I know she lives on her college campus but I don't know exactly what her dorm is called or what room number she's in. If you need to know anything more specific to help me with this, I will happily give you any information you need in the comments section.", "summary": "My girlfriend is severely depressed and I worry she may hurt herself. I need to know who to call/what to do in case of an emergency when we live 5 hours apart."} {"id": "t3_2q8lv1", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being thirsty.", "post": "This happened over the summer and ive been meaning to get this off my chest but having no close-close friends, its been quite difficult so ill just dump this here. i dont expect anyone to read this so lolkek\n\n-Begin Rant-\nBackground story: I am currently a high school senior enjoying my winter break. Starting with a little about me, ive never had a girlfriend except for one a while back in middle school (god knows when). Since forever, ive never found someone ive liked based on their personality, not how hot or cute they look or whatever. This changed dramatically when i had a suddenly realization, an epiphany of sorts, after i got high. I go to a high school with a fairly small class group (1200 students in the school between 4 grades). Having never met anyone in my league worth chasing with a good personality, i finished junior year with nothing really notable. And then i got high. Something about after hitting the trees, i realized something. There was this one girl in my AP English class. Lets call her Shelly. Shelly was not the top of the top, but was fairly cute and her quirky personality, artistic capabilities, and fairly decent academic standards landed her an unseen bookmark in my mind. I havent known her for that long, having only had 2 classes with her junior year, sitting with her and getting to know her and became friends, but that was about it. Sometime after reaching the sky, i realized that i liked Shelly. It was a random spontaneous thought and i thought, hey, i kinda like her. Following this thought, i proceeded to try and text her (facebook, phone, etc). just small talk, etc. I started to get annoying without realizing it, and suddenly, yolo moment, asked her out in the most unofficial, anticlimactic way: over **text**. I had thought it over but now i feel stupid as hell. Now back in school, we still talk and all but i still really like her and now its probably damn near impossible to go out with her after this fuck up. And yet here i am here, trying to get her a christmas gift.", "summary": "realized i liked a girl over the summer when i couldn't see her, asked her out in the worst way possible, annoyed her over text, and still like her. killed any chance of going out with a girl i like."} {"id": "t3_qi5fc", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Would porn help me?", "post": "So my girlfriend and I have been together a long time. (3 years) I'm 18 and she is 18. her stance on pornography was that it is degrading to women, and I have respected her views by not watching porn. \n\nWe both have missed out on the sexual part of our relationship recently because it seems that when we do have the chance to be alone, I will often try to move things too quickly or to try and push her more than she is in the mood for. We have talked about this, and we both really want to get back in the swing of things so to speak. She suggested that if i thought it would help then maybe I should watch porn.\n\nI'm not sure if it would help me, I obviously know that I dont want to push her in any way, but we dont have time alone together very often and maybe that because alone time is rare that I want to try and do more than what she is willing to? I said I dont know when she asked (last night) but I want to bring it back up if I think it will be a good idea.", "summary": "my girlfriend was against porn, I try to push for more than what she wants when we get alone time, would porn help me not do this."} {"id": "t3_1l2qvk", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "advice needed for on again/off again \"friendship\" between (18f) and myself (21m)", "post": "Hey guys,\n\nI will try not to be wordy here -- a friend (f 18) I met back in high school just entered her first semester at State and wants me to visit her. Met her when I was 18, I'm now 21 and commute to a local university. We have had an interesting on again/off again friendship mostly communicated through social media/texting/snapchat. Hooked up once at a party at home this spring. She and I always joke that we will talk pretty much daily and then kind of drift apart and come back and act like we've been friends all along. I think I like her and I'm very much attracted to her. Anyways, I text her after not talking for a while (few months) saying good luck with her first semester, etc. She responds that she wants me to come visit, very friendly conversation, etc. Ends with \"text me sometime\" This is where my dilemma is: my idea was to wait a few days, not give her immediate satisfaction but I do want to continue conversing with her. My buddies are telling me to COMPLETELY ignore her and let her come to me, but she hasn't been known to do that in the past, especially with me being the older guy. I understand that playing hard to get works, and I certainly don't want to be that older guy coming on too strongly. What should I be doing? I'm an attractive dude and usually have no issues with putting myself out there to girls, but I've been out of the game for a while and wanted to get some advice. How should I be communicating with her moving forward if I want to see where it can go? Don't have a relationship on the mind right now, maybe more a friends with benefits type situ. Anyways, sorry for the rant! Any advice appreciated.", "summary": "Attractive, non-neard male courting younger female, been friends for a while with on again/off again communication. She wants me to visit her at State school, I commute at a local college."} {"id": "t3_29cw5f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21M - 21F] Apart for the summer, how can I keep this relationship interesting?", "post": "21M in college, and my girlfriend and I are living in different states for the summer. I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 years, we've lived together for a year, and this whole long distance thing is more complicated than I thought it would be. \n\n**Redditors who have been in long distance relationships, how did you make it work?**\n\nWe've been apart for over a month now, and our conversations have dwindled to a once or twice a day \"I love you - I miss you - Goodnight\". I want to keep things interesting and keep her interested, but that's hard to do when we aren't in the same place. I don't see her, so I can't flirt or tell her how good she looks. She won't do dirty pictures or phone sex, so our sex life is gone. Most of my friends are gone and I keep busy with work and hobbies, so I don't have a lot going on to talk about. Our phone conversations are short and boring, if I try to be flirty or crack a joke I'll get a \"haha\", not much else. In her defense she's very busy with work and her family, but I can tell we're losing our connection and being distant with each other. I want to avoid going down this path, because barely talking, no sex, and \"Love you, miss you, bye\" is no way to have a relationship.", "summary": "In a LDR, I'm coming to you for advice, tips, things you did or said that kept things going, and things that could be fun. How do you keep your connection alive?"} {"id": "t3_jrxb8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can you suggest a job/career for me?", "post": "I'll get straight into it. I'm a 21/male living in Toronto, Ontario.\n\nI'm currently attending college (U.S. equivalent of community college) and receiving a 3 year diploma in computer programming very shortly.\n\nI have the option to transfer once done into one of these programs:\n* Bachelor of Commerce, Business Technology Management\n* Bachelor of Applied Technology, Software Development\n* Bachelor of Science\n* Bachelor of Computer Science\n\nAnd I could finish any of them in just over a year (1 year, 4 months)\n\nNow here's the kicker... I've been working as a programmer at a few different companies, small to large, and I just don't feel fulfilled. I don't think I'll be able to enjoy life working in front of a computer 40 hours a week.\n\nI'm looking for other possible job opportunities that I can branch of easily off of my current background/skill set.\n\nI am willing to spend some more time in school if necessary to gain whatever skill set I would need to get an entry level position. Hopefully I won't have do any more than another 4 years.\n\nI want a job where I get to meet interesting people, see the world, and every day is some sort of challenge.\n\nI'm open to any ideas.", "summary": "I feel trapped in I.T. and want to find a different possibly career path that doesn't waste my expertise."} {"id": "t3_48v1we", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My [26]f parents told me I need to end it [25]m with my boyfriend/fiance of 7 years because \"he'll never marry me\"", "post": "We've been dating for 7 years it's been on and off but more so on. The longest we were broken up was a month. My parents told me he should not come around the house anymore and that he does not respect me as a woman because I slept with him before we were married (We are engaged) and I waited until 4 months ago to sleep with him. They also claim he doesn't respect me because at the moment we are long distance and he visited for 2 weeks and we slept in the same bed together and because we go to bars on the weekend with our friends. She repeatedly told me I was a fool to think he's going to marry me and he's basically using me for sex even though we only started having sex 4 months ago out of 7 years!", "summary": "My mom says boyfriend is just having a good time with me and doesn't respect me because I slept with him before marriage and she believes I should end it with him."} {"id": "t3_2pnc0y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I being crazy? I feel like I am, but even knowing that I'm still upset.", "post": "Okay, am I fucking crazy!? Is it wrong of me [22F] to be pissed at my bf[25M] for being friends with a girl I dislike very strongly.\n\nThe reason i dislike her is that girl and I had issues and then when we were drunk, she spilt some of her drink on me and then I said \"could you not\" and then she mumbled some shit and threw her beer bottle at me and then I chucked her bottle back at her (missed) and then I was going to beat her ass (I'm little compared to guys who know when I'm getting angry Lol I didn't get far)\n\nAnd honestly I just feel shitty about it because I feel like I'm not supported. It's silly but all my other friends boyfriends have been in this situation and out of respect they just didn't associate with the person until their gfs made up. I feel like I'm being childish but I still can't help but feel like the only girl whose boyfriend just doesn't care.", "summary": "Almost got in a fight with some girl, feel like my boyfriend doesn't support me because he still associates with he even though she threw a bottle at my head."} {"id": "t3_2ieii7", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I'm new at my job and witnessed an underage coworker drinking on the job. How should I handle this?", "post": "I don't want to disclose any identifiable information, but in our state no one under 21 years can pour or consume alcohol, and no employee under 21 can go behind the bar. My coworker, we'll call her Jessica, has broken these rules just out of sight of our managers. \n\nJessica is only 18 and she walks into the bar area (where she isn't legally allowed to be) whenever she wants, and this week she was serving a coworker and drank quite a bit of the beer our coworker ordered. Right in front of me, the coworker who payed for the beer, and two other servers. \n\nJessica also spends a lot of time in the kitchen telling everyone how she came to work drunk today. She does this pretty much every day, morning or evening.\n\nI'm the new person at work, I haven't even been there a month yet. I don't know what I should do. I'm afraid we could lose our liquor license if her behavior continues, but I'm also afraid of her finding out I told our manager the truth. I haven't said anything to my boss yet because I'm really not sure how I should handle this. \n\nWhat do you think? I know I should probably tell my boss, but how should I go about doing so? I don't want everyone at work to think I'm a jerk or a snitch. I drink too (although I'm not underage), I smoke pot, I don't give a shit what this girl does at home, but every time she drinks while on the clock she puts my job and income (I'm a waitress/bartender) at risk and I think that's more important.", "summary": "I'm new to my job and recently witnessed an underage coworker drinking on the job. I don't know who to tell or how I should bring it up."} {"id": "t3_2q5a80", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [22M] told me [20F] that what he likes about our relationship is that he doesn't have to try. Um, what?", "post": "Okay, my boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 5 months now (just casually, dating other people) and he finally asked me to be his girlfriend about a month ago. We are long distance as I live 3 hours away from him while I go to college. I really liked how things were when we weren't dating. I think because I didn't expect anything from him but he asked me to be his girlfriend and so i said yes. \n\nNow everything bothers me. He doesn't talk to me for days at a time (he will ignore my texts and calls). When I do come home I have to go see him, he never comes to my house and will make up excuses not to come over. He never asks about my life, my fears, dreams, childhood, etc. I even have to hide how I feel about it because I don't want to come off as \"needy\" or \"pushy\". But when i go to see him I just forgot all the crappy stuff. \n\nSo, like an adult I talked to him about everything that bothered me. He told me that \"what I like about or relationship is that I don't have to try, it just happens.\" What is that even supposed to mean? I'm lost guys. I really care about him despite all the bad stuff he does. But it seems like he just isn't willing to do what I need from him. How do I get him to see things from my point of view?", "summary": "my boyfriend basically said he doesn't like to try in our relationship, it's actually what he likes about it. But I don't like that."} {"id": "t3_1du56d", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "The only thing that's keeping me alive right now is my pride.", "post": "I started looking for work earlier this year and I still don't have one while most of my batch mates are in good companies already. I have pending applications but these companies have yet to contact me. It's already been weeks since my initial exams and interviews not to mention I got positive feedback regarding my exams and interviews on those companies.\n\nThis is so depressing me. I mean, I'm from a top university in my country and why is this happening. (Although I pretty fucked up my grades during first half of college.)\n\nI have also withdrawn from all social networking sites because everyone's achievements or what they're up to makes me feel more down. I know I shouldn't compare my entire life to their highlights but still, I can't help but get affected. On top of these, I avoided any contact from my friends because they're all in good conditions and I'm here, feeling like I have failed so much in my life. So basically I don't have any friends I can turn on to.\n\nI'm living alone in an apartment which my parents provide for me (fuck me, right >.<). So I'm basically all alone for months already. (Although they come from time to time, and they call and text me.)\n\nSo maybe they felt how depressed I am and told me if I ever kill myself they will have it broadcasted on national TV. They know I won't like my friends and people who know me learn that I did something totally uncool. But now, I somehow think that they may grant my last request of not telling people of what I've done.", "summary": "I'm so sad and depressed and I want to kill myself but my family said they'll broadcast it on TV that's why I can't."} {"id": "t3_4kms2g", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Marathon training for fit athlete but inexperienced runner", "post": "Hi! This is my first time on /r/running.\n\nI've been a female (age 21) competitive rower for the past 4 years. I've recently run out of eligibility, and am looking to running for staying in some kind of decent shape. I've always wanted to run a marathon, and I think this is a prime time in my life to try. I've been looking for basic training programs online, but I can't seem to find any that would work for someone who is in good cardiovascular shape but has very little recent running training.\n\nThe training load I am used to is 11 sessions/17 hours a week of rowing/erging. 8 of these sessions are 80-100' of steady cardiovascular work (HR 140-160ish). The other 3 are speedwork (2 sessions of 5 sets of 5' on, 5' off at HR 180+, 1 session of 16x1'on, 1:30off at max speed). I am looking to run a marathon in January. I haven't run much since December (read: one 5-6 mile run every 3 weeks or so), so I don't think I can jump right into a full running schedule that an advanced runner would use, but I also need more volume to maintain fitness than a program that a beginner would use. Ideally, I want be able to run the marathon at at least an 11' mile pace (That's about 30''/mile slower than my steady pace right now). Do you have any ideas on how I could best structure my training so that I don't lose fitness as I'm increasing my running volume? Right now, I'm looking at starting out running 4 days/week, 3mi/3mi/3mi/6mi, and supplementing the shorter runs with about 30' minutes of cardio, as well as throwing in 2 extra days of cross training. I'm not sure how quickly/slowly to ramp up the running mileage.", "summary": "Ex-rower looking to run. Need a training program that a trained athlete but beginning runner can use to run a marathon in mid-January."} {"id": "t3_1v2var", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My ex and I just broke up 2 weeks ago and shes in another relationship.", "post": "m/23, f/22\n\nIt's whatever. But she still has all of our pictures up on facebook while she's posting status's with him. Saying she loves him and stuff, while all of our pics are up. The same friends that like her new status's are the ones that used to like our pictures. The whole thing is pretty disgusting. \n\nI don't want to give her the satisfaction of me being angry. Does she look like more of a low life with my pictures still up? Or should I tell her to take them off out of courtesy.", "summary": "Ex gf of two weeks is all over facebooks saying she loves this guy. But my pictures are still on her page."} {"id": "t3_wrj9i", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What do you think would happen if, overnight, your country adopted a transparent \"democracy without secrets\" ? How would your general public react?", "post": "Just watched the video and read comments from this thread over in /technology. [link] I'd advise doing the same if you're interested in the subject at all.\n\nI think 0. sounds like a very interesting idea, and if commensurate laws were in place, I could imagine it being at least *theoretically* possible in a lot of countries (setting aside the likelihood that it would ever be adopted).**What do you think the net effect would be if this sort of thing opened up in your country, Reddit?** \n\nAs someone living in the US, I'm wondering particularly about the quagmire that might be created by releasing these documents without much context or spin, to a general public that may not be able to easily make sense of it (but seems to have no compunctions about retweeting misinterpretations and out of context snippets). At the same time, while I understand how governmental context and press releases are often just euphemisms for bullshitting, there are certainly situations where I can imagine some information might dispel otherwise benign misperceptions - and yet I can't fathom how the government could function if they had to contend with contextualizing this information as fast as it was being released.", "summary": "if your gov't was compelled to release all public (non-secret) docs in an easy-to-access way to all its people, what would happen?"} {"id": "t3_25x16i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] with a date [22M], mixed signals, is he into me?", "post": "We met at New Year's and got each other's numbers. He is a bit quiet/shy but followed me around the house all night, we got along because we were the only smokers at the party and had our smoke breaks together. \n\nI went away for school for four months and we never talked. Eventually I came back to my hometown where we both live. He responded to a post I made on my facebook wall inviting friends to watch Cosmos. We started chatting via text.\n\nA few days ago we watched the Canadiens v. Bruins game together, went out for drinks and had a great time. No goodnight kiss or anything, though. After, he said we should do it again some time, and that we should keep our Cosmos date.\n\nHowever, I've been inviting him out all weekend and he is always busy. Our texting is less frequent now (in general we don't click well while texting).\n\nHe seemed enthusiastic about getting together to watch Cosmos in a recent message, and even offered to fix my laptop at one point, but I've invited him out 4-5 times already and have been turned down every time. \n\nNow I feel a bit rejected and am kind of afraid to keep asking him out. I don't want to smother him. I just really dig this guy, and have better feelings about him than I've had about anyone else in almost four years. \n\nI just can't tell if he is actually into me or not. We make plans but he can't find time. I don't know if he's busy, shy, or just not feeling it.", "summary": "Guy got my number. Went on one \"date.\" We keep making plans but he doesn't have time to hang out. He's bad at texting. Not sure if he is into me."} {"id": "t3_25c4bc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 M] cannot trust my girlfriend [17 F] with her male friend", "post": "So basically, my girlfriend has this male friend of 4 years that always hits on her and tells her how much he loves her, even though he knows that I'm dating her. I told her that I don't want her talking to him anymore, but that only made her more secretive. A couple of months ago, I was reading her texts and saw that he had grabbed her chest, so I stopped reading, confronted her, then stormed out. Later, she told me that I have no right in reading her messages, and that I misinterpreted it, but really his brother threw him onto my girlfriend, and she hated it and cried. She now deletes all of her texts from him.\n\nJust yesterday she promised that she never talks to him, and I pointed out that I knee she was lying, since he always ends up texting her when I am with her with questions that a person wouldn't know unless they speak often, like \"how was dinner?\" or \"did you enjoy the show?\". She admitted that she speaks to him sometimes, since they share so many classes together, but I know it isn't true since I see them sitting together during class and her talking to a teacher with him being the only other person in the room. He also signs onto Facebook the exact minute that she does, meaning that they are definitely talking, and they always sign off together. I don't know what to do anymore, since I leave for college next year and she still has another year at high school with him\n Help!", "summary": "my girlfriend lies to me about speaking to a guy that likes her, and still lies when I catch her in the act."} {"id": "t3_2paxq9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "So today I [17 M] was at the movies with a girl [17 F], I feel like I failed an important test.", "post": "Alright so here's a brief synopsis of what happened:\n\nI paid for her ticket, I was awkward, not going to lie. My plan was to get there early and buy our tickets and surprise her, but since she got there a few minutes after I was there, I just told her I had everything covered.\n\nWe sat for 45 minutes and talked before we went into the auditorium to watch the movie. We had a good on going convo for 45 mins. The entire time during the movie, it was just us sitting down. We talked and laughed a little bit, but I was always afraid to \"flirt\" with body language. \n\nI wanted to make moves but I just felt like she wouldn't like it, I was so afraid. After the movie ended, I walked her home and we hugged. She said it was fun. Then I went home.\n\nSo now I'm just wondering where things should be continued off of, I asked her out on a date before this and she said she wanted to get to know each other. Tbh I did learn a bit of her, just not a whole lot. We've known each other for only 6 days. Yes I know, I'm not going to ask her out on a date anytime soon, I already failed twice. So I'm going to give it more time. But what should I do next?", "summary": "Took a girl to the movies, paid for her ticket, failed miserably to communicate with body language, walked her home, hugged each other as we said goodbye, now I'm wondering what is suppose to happen next."} {"id": "t3_4h2ucc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [18F] boyfriend [19M] seems to be avoiding telling me he loves me", "post": "My boyfriend and I of about 6 months have a fantastic relationship and I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend, but all of a sudden today he seems to be avoiding telling me he loves me. We both frequently tell the other we love them and there hasn't been issues with it in the past, but as of the last few hours my boyfriend doesn't respond with \"I love you too\". I don't know if I'm being irrational or not. You can't stop loving someone in the course of a few hours, right? I've asked if anything was wrong and he said there wasn't, and then he left to go take a nap since he didn't sleep well the night before (which I said I love him twice before he left, which he didn't acknowledge.) I don't know what's going on and I'm really anxious about it. What should I do?", "summary": "boyfriend won't say he loves me back even though we both frequently do. I don't know what to do and I'm on the verge of a panic attack."} {"id": "t3_32m1gs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [30 F] never thought I would cheat on someone, let alone someone I love [29 M] and still want to marry [4 years].", "post": "It initially felt like something that happened to me, but I realize now that it was something I did. Regardless of (or because of?) innocent intentions, it was too late before I realized the steep, slippery slope we were on, and at that point, I just didn't care. I even started rationalizing it: why am I expected to only have feelings for one person? I'm a dynamic living being with different connections to other living beings; why does society limit our definition of a functional relationship? Of course, I had committed to my partner, not society, so I know that my logic was flawed...\n\nEven though I'm happy with my partner and we're working hard to get through my fuck-up, I wish I could see him one last time. Or at least talk to him. Whatever it was that we were doing was never going to last forever, but the way it all ended felt so abrupt and forced (because it was...), and now it's just over. \"Closure\" seems like such a meaningless word, but I can feel the lack of it.\n\nWe haven't seen or spoken to each other in months, but he makes it into my thoughts almost daily. I understand needing to cut things off completely for the sake of my relationship, but it's harder than I ever imagined. How can I reconcile my feelings of loss surrounding the affair with my love for my partner?", "summary": "I cheated on my partner; he found out. I feel like I need closure on the affair but don't know how to get it."} {"id": "t3_135bos", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "PNC Opted me into Overdraft Protection against my will, do I have recourse?", "post": "So I opened a joint checking account at a grocery store PNC location about a month ago. I specifically told them I did not want over draft protection (I know I did this, I have been opting out of over draft since I was 20, back when you actually had to opt out). I was not required to sign anything to the affect of opting out or into over draft protection.\n\nMy girlfriend used the card that was connected to that account incorrectly (she got her cards confused) a few times, and suddenly I have $200 worth of over draft charges. The people at 2 branches (I had to go to a real branch to close my accounts) told me they could only take care of 2 of the over draft charges. The actual bank branch tells me that the grocery store location always opts you in to over draft protection even if you say you don't want it (they informed me the grocery store locations never ask people if they want over draft protection, they simply give it to them). I fully believe this, as this is the third checking account I've opened with them, and they did the same thing to the first two (even though I specifically told them each time I wanted the transactions to decline, I'm very adamant about this). In the past they had simply said it was an error, corrected my account and refunded me the money.\n\nI believe the practice they have going on is in violation of the Overdraft Protection Act, or some such named law that passed around 2010 or so. They made it so banks have to opt-out customers unless they specifically opt-in (previously they just never said anything about it, and you were opted in by default). I'm however sucking at finding things on google about the specific law. I find lots of people talkinga bout it, but nobody calling it by it's name that I can find the text of.\n\nDoes anyone have more information on this? I know the general advise might be to lawyer up, but the amount is small so lawyer fees wouldn't make it worth while. It would be something I'm assuming I'd have to deal with in small claims court.", "summary": "Stay away from grocery store PNC banks when opening accounts. They sign you up for $36 over draft fees, even if you tell them not to."} {"id": "t3_13lleb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Been home for like MAYBE 2 hours for Thanksgiving and already done goofed. What is the dumbest thing you have ever said to your parents?", "post": "For me it was about five minutes ago. I am a college freshman who has been trying to get a prescription for adderall or vyvanse (ADD meds) and my step mother said that she does not even think I need them and don't need to waste time getting tested. I said yes, I do and that it would really help me with my grades. She said, \"No you don't. You had a rough start to college but after your first set of tests you showed great improvement, it just took time to adjust to college.\" To which I replied with the dumbest thing ever without thinking, \"*That's because I've been buying the drugs from my friends!", "summary": "Have no clue where I was going with the completely flawless argument of, I have been illegally buying these drugs so get me a prescription for it!"} {"id": "t3_d0j7e", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Polygraph help? I have a job interview coming up where I need to take one and I have no idea what they're even going to ask me.", "post": "I'm just curious really. I don't want to walk in there with no clue what to expect. I've never been arrested or committed a terrible crime but I did experiment with substances when I was younger (21 and under and I'm 25 now but from what I hear it's all yes/no questions and you can't explain your answers). I'm assuming it will be stuff like \"Have you ever stolen from a company?\" or \"Have you ever breached secure information?\" but honestly I have no clue I've never had one. If any of you have ever had one I'd appreciate some info so I can at least know what I'm getting myself into.", "summary": "I want to know what a Polygraph is like so I won't be so freaked out and nervous about mine since I know nothing about them."} {"id": "t3_3bteg0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18 M] messed up my one year anniversary with my girlfriend [18 F]", "post": "I am currently traveling in California, and my girlfriend lives in Minnesota. I was in San Jose the past few days; today I traveled to LA by plane. In San Jose, I did not have WiFi at my hotel, so all our communication was by text and Facebook messenger (her parents are a bit extreme so she can't talk on the phone).\n\nWe were talking yesterday on Facebook, and our anniversary is today. I didn't think of our anniversary until this morning, and I decided that telling her over the phone or skype would be best. We talked a bit throughout the day through text, and neither of us mentioned the anniversary. I wasn't able to skype or call her due to our schedules until about 4:00 pm Pacific time. \n\nJust as I was going to ask her to skype, one of her friends texted me telling me that she was sad about me forgetting about the anniversary. I explained to him that I just wanted to make things more meaningful by telling her over the phone/Skype. I then messaged her on Facebook asking her if she could Skype. She then accused me of forgetting about the anniversary. I explained my thinking, but she doesn't believe me. Now she doesn't seem to want to talk to me at all today.\n\nWhat can I do to make this better? How should I proceed? I just feel really bad if I messed up and made her sad. My intentions were only good. Thanks for the help.", "summary": "I messed up my one year anniversary by deciding not to mention it prior to trying to call my girlfriend late in the day. Now I am trying to make things better, but she doesn't want to talk. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_14qqmk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Can I (27m) demand my GF (21f) to get an STD test?", "post": "I've been dating this girl for about 3 months. She's had sex since the last time she was tested. I always use protection but I still asked her to get tested about a month and a half into being exclusive. She still hasn't done it. I've been tested after my last sexual relationship and I've even shown her the results.\n\nShe's in school still and a bit strapped for cash so I've even offered to pay. She's keeps saying she will go but keeps procrastinating. I know things are really hectic for her right now trying to find a new place to rent and finals to study for, but I feel like squeezing in a test isn't unreasonable.\n\nI would rather not ask about her sexual past as I tend to get jealous and over think things when I hear about past experiences. So I figured she could just get the test and I could move on. \n\nIs it too much for me to demand she does it immediately?", "summary": "GF had sex after last being tested but is procrastinating to do it again. Can I demand she does it immediately?"} {"id": "t3_3w6i6p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19/F] with my mum [39/F], the light bill's in my name but I want to move out. How do I go about that without her freaking out?", "post": "So, my mum is kinda bad with money. Like, really, REALLY bad with money. She is hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt thanks to an old house she bought and then stopped paying for completely, and she owes pretty much every company you could possibly think of more money than I can fathom. \n\nWe moved out of our house a year ago and into a tiny apartment when the house finally got repossessed. Since my mum owed the electric company several hundred dollars, she convinced me to put the bill in my name, even though I had no job at the time. She said it would help me build credit and that she'd make sure it got paid on time, so, being just barely 18 and stupid, I believed her. \n\nRecently, things have gotten pretty bad at our house, with her letting my older brother move in and live for free and pretty much trash the place, and since I have a job now I was considering trying to get my own place. There's also the matter of her starting to get behind on payments, no matter how much I give her from my paychecks, so I'm worried about her racking up debt on me. I just was wondering, what should I do about the lights? And how would I bring it up to her? She gets a bit vicious at even the slightest mention of me being independent (she flipped when she heard I would start paying for my dogs' food) so I was wondering what the best way to broach the subject would be, if at all?", "summary": "Mom convinced me to put light bill in my name, started goofing up again, want to move out but don't really know what to do"} {"id": "t3_1sb0k2", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Had a feeling girlfriend was lying to me, but I looked through her phone while she was sleeping, and found out I was correct", "post": "Okay so my girlfriend said she had stopped smoking weed. She gets tested, and I basically was trying to guide her to make the right decision. I caught her once before, and she told me she would never do it again. A couple nights ago she went to her friends house with her friends (all if whom smoke weed), and told me she wasn't going to. \n\nI'm not really proud of it, but she was asleep and I looked through her phone and low and behold, she was talking about getting stoned. How do I confront her about this without hinting towards me doing what I did to find out?", "summary": "gf said she stopped smoking weed, looked through her phone, ended up she was still smoking. how do I confront her without giving up what I did?"} {"id": "t3_550w2d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my Friend? [18 F] a month, just curious on what yall think.", "post": "So there is this Girl I am going to school with and she's interesting, I enjoy talking to her, and hanging out with her pretty often. we flirt and its kind of obvious and like hold on to each other while watching tv sitting or laying down. But the fact that neither of us are sure what we are looking for and that I don't have the time to commit to someone makes for an interesting dynamic. I have conflicted feelings because I do like her but I dont know what to do with that. So far ive just been kind of backing off and trying to talk to other people but its hard to meet new people during the exams this week. Im thinking about just stopping the flirting and what not because Im not sure what I want, and I know her opinion. what do yall think?", "summary": "There is this girl I go to school with and I don't know whether I should stop this in between flirting and just friends thing going on, or try to pursue it further."} {"id": "t3_3kogwh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Please give me advice I feel like I'm[M/23] losing it over my ex[M/22] and I don't know what to do!", "post": "My ex and I were together for 2.5 years in a LDR. He was my first love. I thought things were going great until I found out he had an emotional affair with a mutual friend. He told me he still loved me but wanted to be in a relationship with the both of us. I told him no and we ended up breaking it off. He essentially left me for this other guy so its been a double blow to my self esteem.\n\nI've been doing No Contact for about 2 weeks now and I've been browsing this reddit for anything that could help me. Well, today I had a moment of weakness and looked at his social media. Yep, now I feel even worse. I know that was a huge mistake and I knew checking it would be bad and I did it anyway. I feel like such an idiot. I don't know what to do. I know I have to maintain No Contact to get over this but it feels like its been the roughest two weeks of my life. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Can anyone give me some advice on this? I feel so emotionally bankrupt.", "summary": "Boyfriend of 2.5 years left me for someone else, I feel like I'm losing it. Did No Contact for 2 weeks and today I checked his social media and now I feel even worse."} {"id": "t3_46zhqq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24f] just found out my boyfriend [28m]used to fuck our roommate [28f]", "post": "Together 2 years. Our lease ended in December and my boyfriend and I decided we were going to get a roommate to save money. He mentioned that his friend, let's call her Katy, recently bought a house and was looking to rent a room out. So we've been there for 3 months.\n\nTonight I mentioned to him that he should get me a vibrator. He mentioned that they were really expensive, and how Katy's old boyfriend spent like 100 bucks on one for her. I asked him why the hell does Katy tell you about her sex toys, and he said because they used to hook up and he used it on her.\n\nWhat the fuck?? So he suggested we move in with his OLD FUCK BUDDY? I told him I was so angry, and how disrespectful that was to have me move in here without telling me, and that I don't even want him hanging out alone with old fuck buddies let alone living with them. \n\nHe said I was overreacting and he just saw it as a cheap place to live, and I said I think I at least deserve an apology. He said \"the way you're berating me is not conducive to an apology.\" I haven't spoken to him in a day. I mean I think this is chocolate and a hand written card level fucked up. What the fuck do i do. Am I overreacting? I'm so pissed.", "summary": "boyfriend had us move in with a girl he used to fuck without telling me, and thinks I should apologize for getting angry. I'm livid, and I'm hurt.\""} {"id": "t3_5588t0", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm [M/22] in medical school and need to start thinking about the future but I worry the girl I am with [F/23] isn't the one. I don't want to make a mistake.", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little bit over a year now. In the beginning things were pretty good but I never really thought that it would last that long. We enjoy doing a lot of the same things and get along well but there are some pretty big issues that I haven't been able to get over. She's not the most intelligent at times and I can't have as in depth of a conversation as I would like. She lacks rational and is still somewhat immature, as are her parents so I don't think it will get better. I have just started medical school and am meeting a lot of other future doctors who I can connect with on a different level. It has opened my eyes up to some of the things that I could be missing. I can't help but get the feeling that I can have a great time with her but I could be having a better time with others that I have more similarities with. The problem is I HATE hurting people. She is very attached to me and I am to her but I just don't want to end up marrying someone that I would regret marrying and it end up in a divorce or unhappy marriage for the both of us. I don't know what to do. We really only argue about her not getting to spend enough alone time with me and part of the problem is I don't want to spend as much alone time with her. She also have very high anxiety that was worse until she got on medication but it is still somewhat severe and it causes me stress when I am trying to just pass my board exams. Sometimes I feel as though I would do better in school if I was with someone less needy. I feel like I'm in an impossible situation. I don't want to end up with her but I also don't want to hurt her. What should I do?", "summary": "I'm in medical school and need to start thinking about marriage but I worry the girl I am with isn't the one. I don't want to make a mistake."} {"id": "t3_48htyk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [19/F] go about telling my parents [40s] I'm not religious?", "post": "I have never been religious. I've always gone through the motions and pretend to be Christian because I don't want to disappoint my parents. It has been really difficult for me to pretend to be something I am not, and I feel like my parents and I aren't very close as a result. \n\nI'm still living at home right now, but I am planning on going to university next year. The university is about a 6 hour drive from where I am now. My parents aren't planning on helping out with the cost of university or rent. Since rent is so expensive, my boyfriend [19/M] of two years and I were planning on sharing a room and splitting the cost. Obviously my parents aren't going to be okay with any of this, so I need to figure out how to tell them the best way possible. I have to tell them soon, because my boyfriend and I need to go visit the city to visit the houses, meet our roommates, sign lease agreements, ect. \n\nI'm at a loss for how to tell my parents. I love them dearly, and except for their religious beliefs they have been great parents. I know they'll be very disappointed and upset with my choices but how can I tell them without ruining out relationship?", "summary": "How do I tell my extremely religious parents that I'm not religious and that I'm planning on moving in with my SO?"} {"id": "t3_24jqn6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20F] was unwillingly kissed at a bar.. Now what?", "post": "Hey /r/relationships .. I've been a long time lurker, and now it's my turn to ask your advice!\n\nMy SO [19M] and I have been together for just over two years now. I love him dearly - he's the center of my world, and he knows it! :)\n\nFirst, a little background - We are currently long distance (about an hour apart) and we are in a very secure and happy relationship. My SO has particular insecurities, especially that I wasn't a virgin when we started dating, and he was (and no longer is). He also believes that he is the \"reacher\" in our relationship, and I the \"settler\", for reasons that I cannot comprehend. While he knows I'm not going anywhere, he believes I could have any guy I want at will -_-\n\nBecause of the distance, he can be jealous when I get hit on by other men - I don't even bat an eyelash at any other guy, and my SO knows this, but tonight at the bar (I was with my girlfriends and he was not there) an old friend from high school came up, and as we were talking (he was very drunk, but as I was the DD I was sober), he leaned over and kissed me. No lingering, just a peck on the lips, and I pulled away immediately (but not fast enough apparently).\n\nI've only just managed to convince my SO that I don't get hit on that often (and I really don't believe I do) and I'm not sure how to tell him this happened without increasing his insecurities and negativity towards himself. I've only just managed to help his self esteem - and now this.\n\nAm I making it a bigger deal than it needs to be? Should I even tell him?", "summary": "I have been with my SO for years and was kissed (unwillingly) at a bar, do I tell him it happened?"} {"id": "t3_t4669", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My great aunt may be getting drugged by her friend. Need some help.", "post": "Okay so this has been going on for about a year now. My great aunt Kathy made a new friend named Cici. Well Cici comes with her to our Christmas party and starts to command her to do stuff, like, I dont know how to explain it but she seems to be telling her common sense stuff. My mother has been stressing this out with my aunts about how terrible it is and I just kind of shrugged it off. My mom told me that Cici is trying to get control over some financial business of hers. A couple of days ago, my great aunt got in a wreck and had to get a rental car. She arrived at the post office to get her mail and started asking questions about where the post office was and where she got her mail, although she has always gotten her mail from the exact same post office in the same place. So after they get Kathy's mail. Cici directs Kathy to the rental car's passanger side and tells her, \"okay, Kathy, this is the seatbelt, and it is going to go over you and make a clicking sound.\" After hearing that from my mom, I couldnt bear it. I'm only 16 so there's no much I can do, and I know that Reddit usually helps out a lot with family matters, and I really want to help my mother and her sisters solve this crisis that's been going on. Cici never lets Kathy have any family over and yells at Kathy's sister (my other great aunt), for trying to take her away from Cici. I need your help and so does my family. I probably have left out a good chunk of information, but I can't think of it all off the top of my head.", "summary": "Friend of great aunts may be getting drugged into doing things she wouldnt normally do. Friend pushes family away. Friend tries to get control over financial things. Help."} {"id": "t3_3yr149", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My Girlfriend (17/f) got raped/sexually assaulted and I (18/m) can't stop thinking about it", "post": "Where do I start.... \nI've been going out with this girl that I really like for a month now, I'm 18 she's 17 we just finished school, every things going great, she likes me, I like her, life couldn't be better. A couple months before we were officially a thing, I'd say 4-5 months ago, she got really drunk at a party and had her first time with some random guy she didn't like and was telling him not to and she hated the whole experience. She said he only put it in for like 1-2 seconds but I don't know. I try and ask her more questions about it here and there, but she doesn't like talking about it at all and I respect that. The problem is I keep thinking about it... this random guy arched over her, having sex, with my girlfriend. I want to know more about the situation but I feel bad asking questions. I feel like finding this guy and beating him to a pulp, for basically raping my girlfriend, and this whole thing makes me sad, angry, and uncomfortable when ever I think about it.\nI don't know what to do, how do I stop thinking about it, how do I find closure, how do I make this guy pay? I don't know how I feel", "summary": "Girlfriend got drunk then raped at a party before we were going out, now I feel like beating the shit out of the guy."} {"id": "t3_4mq9gq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with a friend [20F] how do I set boundaries with her wanting to spend time with me?", "post": "I feel stupid posting this because this seems so minor compared to other peoples problems but it's making me weirdly stressed out\n\nOkay so I'm a uni student and in November I met a girl on my course called Fran. Fran seemed like a nice person, plus shes a girl and we're on a **very** male dominated course so I initially thought \"jackpot\" and I put in more effort than I usually do to be friends with her. This has backfired in ways I did not foresee.\n\nI've met tons of people through out my life (as everyone does) and I have never really met someone I found annoying or irritating.\n\nUntil Fran.\n\nI feel bad, because she's not necessarily doing anything for me to find her annoying, but god damn, I find myself wanting to tear my hair out after spending any amount of time with her. This feeling 100% intensifies because she's kind of clingy(?) I don't know how to describe it, she's not necessarily needy but she'll follow me like a little baby duck and invite herself along to things. I have a very low tolerance for this, so I was kind of not really thinking her doing this was that weird, but my friend that was reading my conversation with Fran and was really weirded out.\n\nSo far I've been dealing with this by lying so I can be alone but next year we're going to be living in the same building (but on completely different floors) and she keeps mentioning that she's going to be coming up to my apartment (I'm living alone) every day. I'm a tiny lil creampuff and have no spine (and no experience with dealing with something like this!) How the hell do I make solid boundaries that get her to back off without being a rude asshole?", "summary": "A girl I met is kinda pushy/doesn't take the hint that I want to be alone, how do I get her to not steamroll me into spending every living second with her?"} {"id": "t3_253p9a", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[22M] Long distance issues with girlfriend and her male friend [21f]", "post": "So to start this off, I love my girlfriend. We've been dating a little bit over 3 years, and things have been well. The first year or so we lived in the same town; the next two years we've spent in different towns (she's moved around a bit). There's been a lot of ups and downs obviously, which brings us to the most recent event...\n\nWe recently had a sort of fight, which wasn't really a fight as much as it became a discussion. We talked about a lot of overdue issues, and she said that she didn't really want to break up and was still very much into the relationship. After all of this, we've been working on things again and talking a lot more, and it's much more like it used to be, which brings me to the issue.\n\nI found out recently that a guy that she hangs out with is very obviously into her. And when I say obvious, it's in a needy and constant sort of way. She and I have talked about it, and she says they are just friends. I'm inclined to believe her, as I trust her (not him though), but at the same time I feel like she has been giving him more of a priority than me, and it's starting to make me question why she decided to keep me. I probably have some sort of anxiety issues and jealousy, which contributes to the problem, but I can't help but question these things, especially with the frequency in which they hang out.\n\nSo, I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar situation? Or if anyone could give me some pointers on what to do here? Like I said, not really wanting to break up with her...just really unsure what to think.", "summary": "Girlfriend and I agree we want to continue our relationship and to work on things. Her male friend has a crush and makes me feel like he has priority."} {"id": "t3_2agxtw", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Hair/Make-Up Advice When Booking", "post": "Ok, I booked my make-up artist months ago and got my times for the photographer this week. When I updated my make-up artist, she had a fit and told me that she could not prepare me for the time I wanted and told me to MOVE MY WEDDING TIMES. I'm not moving my wedding for a make-up artist! \n\nHere is what happened: She TRIPLE booked herself! Three weddings! In hindsight, she would have been late to her time with me anyway. How could she do me and 4 other women in time for my wedding based on our original time? Bye, bye deposit! Ultimately, she was very unprofessional and made rude comments about the hairdresser she was working with...my hairdresser is a VERY good friend of mine (a guest at my wedding!) and my wedding was going to be the last that they work together. It was worth the loss of the deposit to get this woman out of my friend's life.\n\nI have a new make-up artist. I'm her only wedding. To sweeten the deal, since she knew my hairdresser friend, she said she trusted me to follow through and did not make me sign a contract.", "summary": "Just a little advice. Ask your hair and make-up people if they are doing other weddings the same day. Extra advice: ask your photographer early about the times they need you ready."} {"id": "t3_slbne", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My bike was stolen; I need some help proving there's good in the world (and just need some cheering up)", "post": "Reddit, my fiancee bought me a shiny new red bike as a present last Saturday, and yesterday it was stolen from me. I was using it to commute to work all this week. I had it locked up on a bike rack in SoHo by the R-train, and it was stolen in broad daylight. While I feel angry that this happened, I've always believed that karma has a way of evening things out. Maybe someone's need was greater than my own. My fiancee, however, is really upset. She asks, \"what's the point of doing good in this world, if this kind of shit happens to nice people?\" That hurt. I still believe in the good in people, but I'm having trouble explaining it to her. \n\nReddit - can you tell me some of the good things you've done? I'll start: last month, I found an iPhone in a zipcar. I took it home, charged it to turn it on, and emailed the owner to return it to her. She said it was stolen from her a while back and she didn't ever think she'd see it again. When she offered me money, I told her that her smile was reward enough.", "summary": "My bike was stolen; need some stories of redditors doing good to prove to fiancee that people are generally good."} {"id": "t3_36rtx3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 M] got dumped by my [18 F] (ex)gf after 1 year and dating for 6 months", "post": "So I met this girl my senior year of high school and we dated 2 times until I went to college. Now I'm not gonna explain anything before the 3rd time because it just isn't relevant. It's my freshman year of college and her senior year of high school and I have not talked to her for about 2-3 months when all of a sudden she texts me. Of course I decide to start talking to her again because I'm an idiot and really love this girl. We start dating again and it lasts longer than the other two times, its a lot better also we get along so well. The only problem is with me in college and her constantly working outside of school we only get to see each other once a week sometimes once every two weeks! We make the most of it and go to a lot of concerts, just do a bunch of fun activities together and everything seems perfect. She tells me she loves me every night before going to bed, and we talk 24/7. Now this is what confuses me. for the past 3 days she has been acting really weird and wouldn't even say goodnight to me and this is when i started getting worried. Last night after not talking to me all day she texts me at night and tells me she isn't happy. She says that she would rather be alone than hang out with me and says I haven't done anything but be perfect and she's tried so hard to make this work but she's tired of it now. Which makes no sense to me because other than these past 3 days she's always been the one to text me first and always reminded me that she loves me I just don't know what happened. I ask her to explain more to why she's breaking up with me and she compares me to her previous boyfriends which one of them is a huge asshole and the other used her for sex. She said that she would always go out of her way to hang out with them and get butterflies in her stomach whenever they texted her. That really hurt to hear especially since she's dated me longer than both of them combined! I just don't understand why this happened.", "summary": "(Ex) Girlfriend of 6 months breaks up with me out of nowhere after acting strange for 3 days and says she hasn't been happy. Then compares me to asshole ex's."} {"id": "t3_50scph", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My family and I [21/F] disagree with my sister's [23 F] decision to transfer to a lesser university but she's unwilling to listen and school starts in a few days. What do I do?", "post": "My sister went to School A, a nationally ranked university, for 3 years and was unhappy so she decided to go to community college for a year. She recently told me she is transferring to School B, a regionally ranked university, but won't give a specific reason. I've asked her several times why but she won't give me a straight answer and says it's none of my business. Her official reason so far is to save money but would stay at School A if she could.\n\nBoth universities cost the same amount in terms of tuition (both are $7,000). The one she is transferring to is close to home so she doesn't need to pay for housing, but, my parents already said they can afford it and they are okay with paying for on campus housing/meal plan for her at School A ($6,000). \n\nWhat should I do? \n\nI don't think this is a good idea because she is close to finishing her degree but she assures me that they are accepting **most** of her credits. She hasn't talked to an advisor at School B yet and school starts in a few days. \n\nShe says it's none of my business and that she's already made up her mind but my parents don't agree with her transfer and neither do I. She doesn't work and my parents and I are helping her pay so I feel like we **should** have a say in her transfer.", "summary": "What should I do about my sister? She won't listen to me or my parents. Do you think this will be bad for her future since her degree will come from a lower ranked university?"} {"id": "t3_fthbm", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "What do you do when you get blown off?", "post": "Back story: 4 years ago I was in a relationship that really screwed with me and I left it pretty messed up in the head. A year and a half later I got over the relationship and then started medic school which for those of you that don't know is a year + of your life. Finished school and continued being single simply because I was lost as to what to do.\nFast forward to 2 weeks ago: Met a very nice and pretty girl who's a friend of a friend, we hit it off things looked swell (that word doesn't get enough play these days). We got coffee a couple times and hung out with friends. Last week we hung out at my place watching a movie and just talking until 2 am. I asked her out, she said probably, the condition being that might go out with her cousin that day. We agreed yesterday to go out today (nothing fancy she doesn't like that and is a very picky eater). She said she would text me after work, nothing. Called 2 hours later but I got nothing, text an hour and a half after that to no reply as well. This is the first girl I've really shown interest in/gotten a positive reply back in 4 years. WTF do I do?", "summary": "Basically first real date in 4 years, can't get a hold of the girl. Freaking out. *grabs soda, turns to reddit*"} {"id": "t3_11s8nn", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[19/M] wanting some advice on how to start a relationship...", "post": "generic relationship advice post I know, but I'd like some help.\n\nOkay, let's call her... \"Amy\". \n\"Amy\" and I are in the same psychology class together, and have been all year. Just recently (probably 2 1/2 months, tops) we've started to talk a little bit more and I've discovered that I have feelings for her. I see her every now and then when I go out with my friends, but apart from that we don't really see each other all that much. \n\nBasically, what I'm wondering... How can I go about this situation? Best case scenario = we start a relationship together. But I'd be more than happy if we could just be better friends. Should I just come out and say that I have feelings for her? Are there things I should be looking out for (key words, behaviours) that would signify that she might feel the same about me as I do her? \nThere's an imaginary \"time limit\" on this, any advice would be muchly appreciated.", "summary": "I like a girl that I don't get to see all that much, how can I tell if she feels the same or not or start a relationship?"} {"id": "t3_2t83f3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being too truthful", "post": "I go to a small school on the Hudson that's 80-85% male, so most of the girls here are taken. As such I've been talking to a very cute girl who I knew in high school and who currently goes to NYU. We've been talking for about 6 months, but because she's on the swim team and I don't have very much money, I still haven't been able to see her in person. Yesterday my friend and I decided to set up a get-together in Brooklyn so I we could be each other's wingmen. So here's the screw-up: after I confirmed that she was down to meet up, my friend tells me that he looked her up on Facebook, saw someone cute and wanted her to come too. So socially-awkward me did the obvious and explained the situation by telling my friend something to the effect of \"hey, my friend looked you up on facebook, saw one of your friends he thought was cute, and wants her to come along.\" I realized my mistake quickly and tried to salvage it, but it's been 5 hours and she hasn't responded, so I definitely blew it for him and may have blown it for me.", "summary": "Friend and I were gonna go on a semi-blind date, my friend creeped them on facebook and then I told them, blowing it for the two of us."} {"id": "t3_3wljku", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (27m) gf (22f) of 8 months says things that I ask her to keep between us.", "post": "So last night I was told something that I wanted to share with my gf. It involved her friend she was hanging out with but was nothing that her friend needed to know that either my gf or I knew. I told my gf specifically not to say anything to her as I just wanted to make my gf aware. \n\nThis morning I get a call from somebody informing that in fact she did tell her friend what I had asked her not to say. \n\nI confronted her about this and asked why exactly she would do that but she got defensive. I explained that she needs to be somebody that I can trust over anybody else. I also said that I didn't want to be careful with things I tell her but that it might take me a while to feel like I can completely trust her with certain things again. She again got very upset with me and tried turning the blame around on me because it would take me a while to come back around to trusting her but then when I ask her to stop doing something I expect it immediately. \n\nI'm not sure how to handle this as I've already tried talking to her but she gets so defensive.", "summary": "gf told someone something after I asked her not to. Got defensive and tried to bring up another argument to shift blame."} {"id": "t3_2t96dz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] with possible romantic interest[30 M], recently divorced", "post": "Throw away for obvious reasons, I know this person uses reddit often. \n\nI went on a first date with this guy today. We didn't know each other at all before today. We had an excellent time and ended up spending about 5 hours just talking. Far longer than I had planned for. He was very gentleman like the whole time, and I even found my self slipping out information I would never slip out on a first or even fifth date. He told me a few things about himself that I imagined were a little personal as well. I received a text a few hours later that he would like to hang out again soon. We agreed to hang out in two days, because both of our schedules matched for a couple hours. \n\nHere is where the advice part comes in. Like we all do, I stalked him online to make sure I wasn't hanging out with some widely known sociopath or something of the like. (Don't even act like you don't do it as well! :) I found a gift registry for a wedding. This guys name is pretty distinctive so I clicked on it. He was married a little over a year and a half ago. Confused and already freaking out that I was going on dates with a married man, I found his wife on facebook. The last photo of her with a ring or mention of him was 8 months ago. She seems to be very happy and extremely social since the photos with a ring. \n\nSo, with keeping all of that as short as possible. Should I give him the benefit of the doubt and continue with our next date since I don't know the situation? Do you agree that 8 months seems a little quick to be looking for something else? If he had only wanted a hook up he did a rather poor job of showing that. Do you think he is just looking for a rebound \"put me back in the game\" type of thing. Should I ask if he has ever been married point blank or wait to see if he tells me? All the questions. You can answer whatever question you think of..or ask any as well.", "summary": "Wen't on a date with a guy I really liked but found out he was pretty recently divorced/ Should I continue with seeing him or let it go?"} {"id": "t3_13skrx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I got in trouble at school for saying university teachers in the U.S. should speak English. When have you been the victim of political correctness?", "post": "I'll try to make a long story as short as possible. I attend a large university situated in a major city in the Northeastern U.S. One day I was sitting in the office of a student group related to my major, and I mentioned off hand that I was really frustrated with one of my professors, who is Chinese and has, at best, a mediocre grasp of the English language. I didn't care that he is Chinese - I just couldn't understand the guy. I then merely stated that while I absolutely don't mind having foreign professors, Chinese or otherwise, if someone does come to the United States to teach American students, then they do need to speak decent English.\n\nSo a month passes, and I am in the same building to see a professor when I run into the faculty adviser for the organization. She angrily informed me that she received a complaint that I was making \"racial comments towards Asian people\" and that such behavior was completely unacceptable. She further informed me that we would have to have a \"serious talk\". It has been a month now, and despite trying to get in touch with her again, neither she nor any of the organization's officers have talked with me about the issue. As a matter of fact, nobody has spoken a word to me at all, so I have essentially been kicked out of that organization. This is enormously frustrating, because I am *anything* but a racist - it is not how my parents raised me. Furthermore, I feel that their response to all of this has been totally unprofessional. All over what I feel is an extreme sense of political correctness...", "summary": "I essentially got kicked out of a student organization at school for saying professors teaching at universities in the U.S. should speak English. Have any of you guys been a victim of political correctness?"} {"id": "t3_488a1k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "She [17/F] told me she is interested to have a relationship with me[18/M], but she's not ready to be in a relationship.", "post": "I met a girl online, and we get along very well since 2 weeks. She texts me a lot, I text her a lot, it goes very well.\n\nThe first week,I proposed her that we could meet up for coffee, but she said she didn't know me well and she would be really shy IRL. I understood, and decided it was ok to wait a little bit before meeting up.\n\nThe next week, even if we would text every hour, she was still shy about meeting up. I was sceptic, and asked her if she liked me or not. \n\nAnd there's the problem: she's not ready to be in a relationship with someone, because she had awful experiences last months. \n\nHowever! She's definitly interested in me, but she said she would wait for summer to meet up.\n\nI think that's really weird that she's interested in someone, but doesn't want to meet up because she had awfull experiences .\n\nI don't really mind about waiting 2 or 3 months, but It's gonna piss me off if in the end she's not anymore interested, and I was waiting for no reasons and giving me false hopes. Also, it would be really awkward to be texting a lot without talking in real life for months.\n\nI decided to wait, and keep texting her, everyday. Is it weird?", "summary": "I met a girl online, she told me she was interested in me, but she wanted to wait a couple of months before meeting up and being in a relationship./ I decided to wait, is that the right decision?"} {"id": "t3_1ojlm4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description;text=Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks. --- **tl;dr**: Summarize with a tldr!", "post": "I feel terrible about this because I know I shouldn't feel this way. \nA little background: He and his best friend, call her M, have known eachother since they were 12. They're super close. I love her; she's amazing. She doesn't compete with me in any way and is super supportive of me and my BF's relationship. We all knew eachother in highschool and since I've started dating my BF we've all become closer.\n\nRecently, her brother (also my BF's close friend) died in a car crash. We're all devastated but my BF and M more than anyone. Since her brother died my BF has been staying at her family's house with her helping them through it and taking care of things. I've barely spoken to him.\n\nI know this is completely irrational: I feel a twinge of jealously because I feel like my BF and I will never be as close as he is with M. I want to be there for him during what he's said is the hardest thing he's ever been through but he seems to be pushing me away. I know this is because of the situation. No one knows what he's going through better than M and vise versa...I just can't help but feel like I wish I were the one that could comfort him.\n\nI'm not sure there is any advice to give here..other than, how can I stop being such a selfish person and crappy girlfriend? I feel awful about this..", "summary": "I'm jealous of the bond between my BF and his (girl) best friend, especially because I can't comfort him now while he's grieving for his close friend and her brother. I'm a terrible person."} {"id": "t3_1rk7xl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My fianc\u00e9 wants me to change.", "post": "Diclaimer: I'm drunk. My Fience(21 f) wants me(22 m) change everything about myself. It started with he complaining about how I talk/what I talk about. Now it has moved to her wanting me to change my body type, what I do for fun, what movies I watch, and how I maintain my house. I get that some things may upset her, and that there ate things I need to work on, but she claims she loves me yet it seems like she wants me to change everything that I am. I don't even know what it is that she loves. I am currently in college about to graduate with a very high prospective income. I have never feared before that she is just in it for the money, but now I'm not 100%. We. have been seeing each other seriously for several months now and have dated casually for several years.", "summary": "My fience wants me to change almost everything about me. How can she love me if she wants me to change so much?"} {"id": "t3_2xq6gh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M/18] asked out a friend [F/17] who I didn't know was a lesbian. Now things are kinda weird between us.", "post": "Alright this is my first post on this subreddit so I apologize if I do anything wrong.\n\nI [M/18] have a friend [F/17] who I was crushing on for a couple months. I had been under the assumption that she was bisexual because her Facebook page said \"interested in men and women\" so I never bothered to ask. I finally built up the courage to ask her out, and that's when she told me she appreciated the sentiment, but that she wasn't into guys at all.\n\nI still hang out with her and some other friends at lunch. But we don't talk nearly as much now. Which sucks because we were becoming really good friends before I asked her out. I feel like it's something we could laugh about, but at the same time I feel like I did something wrong or made her feel uncomfortable. Any advice? Should I just talk to her and try to put it behind us? I'd also be interested to hear if any of you have had similar experiences, on either side.", "summary": "I [M/18] didn't know my friend [F/17] was a lesbian and now we don't really talk to each other very much after I asked her out. Any advice welcome."} {"id": "t3_45cu0k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20M] have a crush on this girl [20F] and asked her to study together but got rejected. What should I do now?", "post": "I met this girl this Tuesday night at a science museum (we went to a planetarium show there for some extra credits for our astronomy class). We sat together during the show but didn't get the chance to talk to each other (quiet place, had to focus on the show).\n\n After the show we took the subway together and had some little talk on our way back to school and exchanged our numbers. The next day (Wed.) I asked her after the class if she wanna study for the midterm with me on Thursday night (midterm's on Friday). She said she was not sure and would let me know. But I didn't hear her back so just text her this afternoon and after a couple of hours she said she wouldn't be able to study with me tonight. \n\n So am I going a bit fast? To be honest I like this girl and really wanna spend some time with her; but I got rejected. What should I do now if I don't wanna just move on? The girl is beautiful and so cute, a very good girl! Help me guys I don't have too much experience on this kinda stuff. Technically this was the first time I asked a girl out (and just for studying...) in my college life (sophomore year now) so you see I really do like her. Any idea would be appreciated!", "summary": "got rejected by a girl/what should I do if don't wanna just move on?! Really like her! Read if you wanna help or you are looking for something to read..."} {"id": "t3_3syjxp", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "Tifu when I leaved the door unlocked", "post": "I'm a muslim (not very religious) girl who lives with my mom and two sisters. They never saw my whole body after I hit puberty because I'm quite shy about my body. They only saw me draped with towel and that's it. Anyway, its early in the morning and my below region itches. So I decided to trim down the bush below. My sisters and my mom is at work and school. So I get my special scissors and spread my legs on the bed in my room and trim down the bush. (It was early in the morning, my brain thinks I should just do it in my room than the bathroom). So halfway trough, my eldest sister suddenly barge in my room and I was shocked I covered my groin with my t-shirt and my sister just stood there with her mouth open. Now let me remind you again, after I reached the age of 12 years old or so, my family that consists of all girls never saw me naked or with my underwear.we are quite reserved family. I screamed and she laughed all the way to the living room while I put on my pants.\n I really hope she didnt tell anyone about this.", "summary": "I think that theres nobody at home, trim down my bush, sister saw me spread on the bed, sister laughed, I screamed"} {"id": "t3_1n83h9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/m] I can't stop thinking about this girl (20/f). What do I do?", "post": "Ok so here is a little break down of the story. \n\nSo 3 years ago I started dating this girl, C. Now we had an okay relationship and I'm not here to talk about that. But around our 1 year anniversary, I finally found out she had been cheating on me with an acquaintance, J. In fact, it was one of my closest friend, W's, best friend. More on that later. So anyway we break up and I don't talk to her for a few months. After several months we start talking again and do an FWB thing. All is well until she goes back to J and starts lying about everything. Now this is fair, we weren't dating, not a problem. So we agree to stop getting intimate and move on to just friends. Problem is, I can't stop thinking about all the lies she spun and how she destroyed our relationship because she \"didn't care.\" So eventually after too much fighting we start to drift apart but remain civil friends. But because she is back with J, I hear all the time from W all the gross details, the fights they have, and whatever else is new. It's been 2 years now since we were in a relationship and I'm largely over the whole thing. But I can't help from being offended by what I hear through the grape vine; I've told W not to say anything, but he doesn't stop. And fed up with her lies (they carried into our 'friendship') I completely blocked all communication with her about 2 months ago: I don't have her phone number, I blocked her on FB and other social media, etc. \n\nNevertheless, every single day, at least once she has floated into my head. Sometimes it's nothing more than \"well I haven't thought about C today\" but that only takes me down a long lonely road again. It's been months since I've talked to her and we hadn't had any semblance of intimacy for over a year. \n\nHow do I finally get this girl out of my head? I'd like to start dating again, but I haven't really found the right girl and since she keeps coming up I don't even know if I'm ready.", "summary": "dated a girl for a year, got cheated on and left. 2 years have passed and I still can't stop thinking about her; always hear about her business through mutual friends. What do? "} {"id": "t3_3zp092", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by accidentally sneaking a friend into my house", "post": "I wasn't feeling my best today so I stayed home from school. By the time my mother was off to work I felt better. So about an hour after she left, my best friend texted me saying \"I skipped today.\" I told them I was at home, not thinking anything of it. Stupid me, because not even 10 minutes later they're at my door! We just watched Donnie Darko and ate chips and when they left, my mind was going a mile a minute. My mom is a strict woman (Note: I'm a senior and my BEDTIME is 9pm). If she finds out, she'll annihilate me. Not only did I skip school, I also snuck someone into my house.", "summary": "i skipped school and snuck my friend into my house unintentionally and I'm TERRIFIED of my mom finding out."} {"id": "t3_tvr14", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, Can I get some input on a new job position?", "post": "So basically I'm currently fighting with two different job scenarios, my current position, and a new job that I've already accepted but have yet to start training for. \nFor reference I'm a pastry chef. \n\nCurrent Job: Very low stress, only about 35 hours a week, great staff, and I work along side one of the most talented Pastry chefs in my country, which could potentially lead to better opportunities much further down the road (I'm only 21, got a lot of work ahead of me).\nEssentially, the only downside to this job is due to low hours, I'm not making a lot of money and I'm also not being challenged in the least, it's all easy items that anyone could do so I've found myself in a rut.\n\nNew Job: Much better pay as I would be on Salary, longer hours, half the day would be spent doing things I dislike and the other half doing basically whatever I want as I would make my own menu.\nDownside is the scheduling would take up my entire summer, I'd be abandoning a lot of music festivals/life commitments ect to basically spend my summer working. I would not have much of a life.", "summary": "Would you rather have a job with little stress, a wonderful environment, friendly staff, making your own schedule, and low pay. Or a job with considerably higher pay but High stress, high pay, and horrible scheduling. "} {"id": "t3_cexey", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Thoughts of leaving girlfriend of 6 yrs...she's financially dependent on me & I'm worried about the outcome", "post": "Throwaway account here...29 yrs old\u2026Basically, my girlfriend of 6 yrs is financially dependent on me. I pretty much pay for everything (rent, food, bills, fun, her taxes). It's not that I mind paying for everything because I really don't. It's that I wish she was a more financially independent person (for her sake!). \n\nRecently, I have fallen for a someone else (she doesn't know). I wish I could understand why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling, but I just don't. I wish I could turn off the attraction & be happy with who I have. I haven't felt this way towards someone else in a very very long time. It's made me realize that I probably shouldn't be with my girlfriend anymore. It's only fair to be upfront & tell her how I'm feeling. However, I have no idea how she would be able to take care of herself. I still really love her, & I think she's a great person. I'm worried that in her financial state, she wouldn't fair too well on her own. I would offer to let her stay in our home (rented) & continue to pay the rent each month, but then I would have to move out & possibly be renting 2 places at the same time. I'm just really confused about all these circumstances that would involve us going our separate ways, & I certainly would hate to see her life in ruins due a decision that I would be making\u2026.really confused\u2026", "summary": "thinking of leaving SO of 6 yrs, & she is financially dependent on me\u2026don't want to see her life ruined because of my decision\u2026confused."} {"id": "t3_1b584y", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "i really want to accept gay marriage.", "post": "hey reddit, before you read any further, please understand that i truly do wish others happiness in their lives and i have nothing against people being gay...whatever makes you happy makes you happy! a great friend of mine is actually a lesbian and has been with her partner for many many years! that being said, i was raised catholic (i understand that many of you are atheist, i have no judgement that is your choice, as being catholic is mine..it's important to me! please respect that). I try so hard to just accept gay marriage, but in the back of my head im screaming no no no! i have no issues with gay people being together, it is just the marriage that i apparently have an issue against...not even the people! i love them people! it's so confusing and i dont know why i am like that :S it truly does not make sense to me...any advice?", "summary": "i'm love gay people, a great friend of mine is a lesbian, i don't mind gay people dating, i am opposed to gay marriage..why?"} {"id": "t3_3k5dmn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [17M] GF [17F] won't stop talking to a guy I don't like", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years, which has been very good. We've had our ups and downs, but always made up and been happy together.\n\nHowever, right before summer, we broke up for a couple months but continued to talk. We hung out and eventually started going on dates again, which led to us getting back together recently. Things have been great since then. When we got back together she told me that a guy that I had often said likes her, but she didn't believe me, told her he likes her and sent her dick pics while we were broken up. She assured me that she put him in his place and told him she wasn't attracted to him and said she hadn't talked to him since. This was all about a month ago.\n\nA few days ago, she was using snapchat and I saw that she had sent him a message. I asked her about it and she just said it was a picture of rain because he sent one to her. I asked her why she replied, to which she got very defensive so i let it go for then. Later, I brought it back up and she then mentioned she had talked to him earlier at school. I told her I don't want her talking to him because it shows him what he did earlier (dick pics) was ok. At this point she got very mad and said I was being immature, I wasn't respecting her rights and that she could talk to whoever she wanted. I responded by telling her that she was being inconsiderate.\n\nI haven't talked to her very much since then (Saturday). And at this point I'm not sure what to do. Should I end it, get over it or try to talk to her about it?", "summary": "My girlfriend started talking to a guy that sent her dick pics and gets mad when I tell her I don't want her to talk to him."} {"id": "t3_36dm6v", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by changing up a routine", "post": "This happened a few days ago, but I figured that I'd let the weekend NSFW posts have their fun before I posted my TIFU. \n\nIt's Friday night and, being the total nerd that I am, I go to play Friday Night Magic at my local card shop. I had a good night at FNM and was headed home, but needed gas for my car. I stopped and got gas and then returned home. After getting some ZZZ's, my dad, his GF, and I all go to lunch, and then once we returned, I packed my stuff back up to head back to Uni. All pretty normal stuff. But...I don't have my wallet. WHERE IS MY WALLET. I backtrack like crazy and tear apart the house. \n\nThis is where my TIFU happened. Usually, whenever I get gas, I get out of my car, leave the car door open, scan my debt card, and then throw my wallet back into my drivers seat. \n\nWell I don't remember exactly why or what reason, but I didn't follow that routine this time around. I think I was thinking about going in for some coffee because it was late...\n\nSo I drive an hour back down to the gas station and start to go back over my route home from last night. And behold, my wallet lying there on the side of the road. I pull over (carefully because this is a /very/ busy road) and pick up my wallet. It is pretty much destroyed. The outer layer is fine and has a few scratches, but the inside flaps have been ran over so many times, they were torn to pieces....\n\nAlso, none of my cards were in it. Panic ensues. \n\nI spend ~20 minutes picking up individual cards off the side of the road only to learn that most of them would need replacing because gravel had been all but imbedded in them. Everything was there, and my debt card/identity wasn't stolen, but it's still quite the hassle.", "summary": "Broke usual \"getting-gas\" routine, lost my wallet, found my wallet, and will have to replace everything inside that wallet."} {"id": "t3_1j6whk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why does my girlfriend (22F) act completely different around her family. (23M)", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been \"dating\" for about 2 months now. I live about an hour from her and come to visit her on weekends. Things have been really great, I have no real complaints and we always have a lot of fun together. \n\nThe only thing that I have noticed is that she is a lot different when her family is around compared to when we are alone. When we are alone she is fairly touchy-feely. She'll cuddle with me, rest her head on me hold my hand ect. Even in public we hold hands, kiss (nothing extreme). \n\nA bit of context, she has 5 brothers and 1 sister that are all around her age (19-27) and they are close. I've know most of them and and good friends with a couple of them. The thing I've noticed is that when they are around she is a lot less affectionate, she almost seems not to pay attention to me, and almost never wants to touch me.\n\nTo give some context, I'm not asking her to make out with me or anything infront of them, but I also don't think its normal for her to completely switch off. For example, if we are sitting on the couch watching a movie if we were alone we'd sit right next to each other and she might lean on me a or even more, but if any of them were around she might sit 6 inches from me.\n\nI guess its not a big deal, but I see the way her brothers are with their SO, and its certainly not as cold as it it is with me. Is she embarrass? We're by no means a secret relationship or anything. We sleep in the same bed when I am around and we do have a physical relationship, and they might stay over in the spare room or something. Should I just get over it?", "summary": "Girlfriend is distant and cold with family around, she is affectionate and loving when we are alone. It confuses me."} {"id": "t3_1d10kb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I , 27M, am having money issues with GF, 24F", "post": "Been dating my GF for 2 years now and we share a 1 bedroom apartment. We agreed on a few things before we moved in together. \n\n * I would pay rent, 740/Month\n * She would cover utilities and internet 100-200/Month\n * We would split groceries\n\nI work almost full time and go to school part time, full time again next semester. She works 1 night a week and spend the rest of her time training her horses. So the money she makes goes to the horses, while the money I make goes towards everything else. \n\nI understand that I make more and as such can contribute more, but 100% doesnt seem fair at all! I've talked to her about this several times, but nothing has changed. \n\nHow do I get her to find a second job?! All I can really think of is threatening her, but I don't want to do that. I love her very much, but I am getting very tired of getting up early to go to a job I hate and going to school while she gets to get up late every morning and go about her day as she pleases. \n\nI understand that we are in this together, but I just want to feel like I am being treated fairly.", "summary": "GF isn't contributing to the bills and it is really straining me and I need to find a way to get her to find a second job!"} {"id": "t3_4h4aqt", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By stealing a motorbike which I thought was mine.", "post": "Picture this, I'm chilling at home the clock chimes 11 and I head out for a smoke and realise my motorbike had been stolen, they had cut through my chain and taken it, I last saw it about an hour before.\n\nI did the normal protocol ( Called police ect) I'm used to doing this because this year alone I have had 3 bikes stolen. Before you all say I'm stupid and should have more security ; I honestly cant afford to do more considering I'm still paying off most of these bikes. \n\nAnyway so fuelled by adrenaline I walked the streets to see if anybody was walking around with it, after about an hour. I saw a 16ish looking lad pushing a motorbike that matched the description of mine with his hood up. I ran over to him and shouted \"ILL TAKE MY BIKE BACK\" he shouted \"FUCK YOU\" and ran off. I picked the bike up took it into my garden (Key in the ignition). It wasn't mine but I assumed since the kid left it so easily he had stolen it. Reported to police...\n\nThis morning I called the police to get an update. Turns out the kid I took the bike off was the owner. What makes it even worse is his motorbike was ALSO stolen that night, and he had found it and was recovering it. I matched the description of the original Thief. He must have shit himself. \n\nThe kid has since picked up his bike from my house and I've given him the keys, but I'm at work Riddled with guilt that this young kid had had his bike stolen not once but twice.", "summary": "My motorbike was stolen so I went out to find it. Ended up stealing back what I thought was mine, but was not."} {"id": "t3_2ynq4v", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[16/f] How to get my friend [16/f] to stop being touchy with my Boyfriend [16/m]", "post": "One of my friends is really touchy in general, like while she's talking to people (male or female) she'll touch their arm and stuff, I don't know why, just as habbit I guess. It might sound stupid but it bothers me when she does it to my boyfriend, the three of us hang out fairly often and she always touched his arm or shoulder and stuff when she talks to him. Yesterday we were sitting on a couch and she was talking to him and she put her hand on his leg (upper leg) That made me angry but I didn't say anything. Based on my boyfriends body language I don't think he was comfortable with it but was probably embarassed to say something, and I don't think she noticed when she does it. How do you think I could bring this up to her? I don't want to sound crazy territorial of him or anything, but it really bothers me and I think she should stop. Do you think I'm justified to not be okay with it?", "summary": "My friend touches peoples (arms/shoulder/etc) when she talks to them, she does it all the time to my boyfriend, and I don't like it."} {"id": "t3_16821j", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I passed out at the audiologist today. He didn't seem to know why. Do you?", "post": "I went to an audiologist today to get fitted for a pair of custom ear defender plugs. Like the kind musicians use.\n\nAs part of the fitting he pushed this little foam-plug-on-a-string into my ear and said I'd feel some pressure. I said \"ow, I feel pressure\" and he checked and said \"it's not deep enough in your ear\" and pushed it a little bit more.\n\nThen I said, \"I feel dizzy\" and the next thing I know he's shaking me awake and I'm drenched in sweat. I'd only been out for like a minute. I sat in a cooler room to bring my temperature down a bit, and barfed into a garbage can. It couldn't have been dinner 'cos my gf who was with me felt fine.\n\nI got my blood pressure checked and it came up a little on the low side.\n\nThe audiologist said he'd never seen that happen before. I've never passed out before either.\n\nSo is this a thing? Can jamming something into your ear canal cause you to pass out?", "summary": "Audiologist put a foam plug in my ear for a few seconds and I passed the fuck out. He took the plug out and I woke up. What the fuck happened?"} {"id": "t3_537p6k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25F] with my boyfriend [27M] of 3 and a half years. Everything is perfect except for the fact that he is feeling unmotivated to secure our future together.", "post": "My bf loves me so much and treats me like his whole world. He's never been unfaithful, lets me use his phone without hesitation, very communicative, incredibly caring and just an all around great human being. He's sacrificed his time, money, and fun so I can go to cancun with my mom because my mom and I have not gone on vacation together for more than 10 years now. He tried to pay for some of the vacation but I didnt allow it. Since I didnt allow it, he just started paying every single time we ever went out so that I could save money. \n\nMy family loves him and thinks he's a sweetheart as well. His mother and father and his 2 sisters are on great terms with me too and I'm very close with his mom now. \n\nHowever, he's told me that the past 3 or so months he's been quite depressed. He's had a panic attack just once but that was 3 months ago and it never came back. I am not able to make him happy. \n\nAccording to him, his depression is causing him to wanting to quit work. I know that he might find a job later but he took almost half a year to find this one. He is lazy sometimes so I'm nervous that he wont be able to provide for us as a family if we ever got married. I dont like his tendency to quit things so easily.\n\nWe had a large fight and I suggested breaking up because one of my big things is that I want to feel secure in our future. I dont want to live paycheck to paycheck. I dont want to be rich, but I dont want to worry about if I have enough money to pay for food or gas. He told me that he feels betrayed. \n\nAm I in the wrong for suggesting the breakup because of his personality to be unreliable when it comes to work even though everything else in the relationship was either perfect or at the least good? It's one of my huge deal breakers and a huge red flag for me.", "summary": "Boyfriend is almost perfect except for his inability to provide for us. Is it wrong that I want to end it?"} {"id": "t3_20tykk", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by listening to my teenage friends while on a ski trip, and going off a huge jump.", "post": "So this wasn't today but actually last weekend. Some of my friends and I were on a school trip to Sunday River in Maine. Anyways Sunday morning we made our way to the terrain park where there were three large slope style jumps. After 2 runs through the terrain park my friends convince me it would be great idea if I did a jump claiming: \"We've all been out of our comfort zone this trip except for you\".\nWell fast forward a few minutes and there I am waiting to go off the jump. These three guys go off the jumps before me and do 720s and other cool tricks so I think I got this. So I take off and as soon as I'm in the air flying sideways I know I have done something really wrong. All I can think while I'm in the air is \"Oh shit this is going to hurt\" and unsurprisingly enough it did. As soon as I land I can't breath and my arm is just flapping around without any control.\n\nI sit up and catch my breath while holding on to my immobile arm. My friends grab my skis, one of which has been damaged and I ski down to ski patrol. From there I go to the hospital where I stay for 3 days and 2 nights and have surgery to reconstruct my broken Humorous which was 4 hours long, took many screws, a plate, bone graph, and 20 staples to fix.(here is an x-ray of my arm: )\n\nSo here I am at home, not able to go to school, on pain killers and my whole spring track season ruined because it started on Monday.", "summary": "Broke my humorous while skiing resulting in surgery, a week out of school. demobilizing my right arm(I'm a righty), and wrecking my track season"} {"id": "t3_m3x9x", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Got into argument with my friend who said OWS are stupid, lazy people with no proof for their cause. What is the basis (proof/facts) of Occupy Wall Street Protesters and their cause?", "post": "Got into an argument with my friend but I started to realize that I had no evidence or stats to back my claims. I genuinely support the idea that OWS protesters stand by. That the top 1% are taxed less and retain about equal wealth as the remaining 99% in the nation. But these are just statements I've read with no real evidence or backing. No hard statistics. I went looking for it but all I found was information to the contrary, for example the more income you have the more you're taxed ( So I ask reddit to please help arm me with supported facts and claims defending why OWI are not just complaining lazy people with no basis.", "summary": "Got into argument with friend who said OWS cause has no evidence. What's the evidence that 99% is not stupid?"} {"id": "t3_1b3lab", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [M26] wife [F25] of two years is constantly frustrated with my family and takes it out on me -- I don't want her to hate them, but if I try to defend my family, it makes things much worse.", "post": "My wife and I have been together for almost eight years now and have been married for two of them. Our families have always gotten along well, but in the last year or so they hit a rough patch. Both of our sets of parents do fairly well for themselves, but neither are filthy rich. Her extended family, however, is extremely well-off, and have always helped out my wife, her sister, and their parents by paying for schooling, cars, and many other expenses. My family did not have this luxury.\n\nI am currently a full-time law student, and my parents were generous enough to pay for my tuition (~$25k a year after scholarship). Now, we are buying a house and her parents are helping us significantly. My parents also support my adult aunt and, until recently, also supported my grandmother. They've said (without us asking) that they wish they could help us with the house, but they really can't right now.\n\nMy wife has been frustrated with me lately because she thinks it's wrong of my parents not to help when her family has done so much for us. If I try to explain how much my parents give us by paying for my education so I can provide for us down the road, she says that their help is only benefitting me. I also know that she's spoken with her family about the issue and they feel the same way.\n\nI'm sorry for the long post, but I'm at the end of my rope! I don't want problems between our families, but I can't help but feel that they're being unreasonable. How can I reconcile this mess?", "summary": "My wife's parents are helping us buy our first house but my own parents can't afford to do the same. Now she's mad at them. Is she just being unreasonable?"} {"id": "t3_1gls1x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25F] have been dating a guy [29M] for just over 2 months, slightly confused and a little frustrated.", "post": "A little over two months ago I started dating this guy and things have been going pretty well, although progressing a lot differently and slower than I'm used to. \n\nWe spend a decent amount of time together, I stay over once to a few times a week, and we are having sex. He invites me to outings with friends who all seem excited to see me, he makes an effort to get friendly with my friends, and this week invited me to go out with him and his sister (which I sadly had to pass up anyway). He has gotten me two small gifts for the sake of it since we started seeing each other and has even skipped work to spend a day with me (which is kind of wild). \n\nI guess what has left me feeling a little frustrated is his total lack of affection, and I'm not used to it. He isn't touchy at all and also doesn't like to be touched / barely kisses me / doesn't ever pay me any compliments that make me feel all that special or like more than a friend. It kind of leaves me feeling like FWB. I've brought it up and asked where he stood, and he said, \"I like you, I like where this is going, let's see where it goes,\" and that he \"gets that\" about not being affectionate. I also feel like our communication is poorer than in the beginning, but I could just be making that up.\n\nI understand wanting to take things slow (about a year and a half ago he got out of a 4 year relationship), but I don't feel like he values me as a romantic partner, even if he actually does. I'm starting to get frustrated with it, but I don't want to risk ending things abruptly if I'm just being needy. \n\nIs this totally normal behavior? Do you think it's worth it to stick around longer? Has anyone else had to deal with something like this?", "summary": "Guy I am dating makes me feel like a FWB, says he wants to see where the relationship goes when I confront him, and it's a little bothersome for me."} {"id": "t3_39iyqp", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Employment. I have a job where I may have the chance to climb the ladder, but I also have an opportunity at a higher paying more stable job.", "post": "Okay Reddit. Lets Talk.\n\nI started working at this flexible packaging (rotogravure printing) company about two years ago, so far love it! (Small business are the best!) The pay is $4 over minimum and the employees are awesome. Best yet, the founder who is the companies \"Packaging Engineer\" is old and may retire within <5 years. My direct boss told me that he would be willing to pay for some of my schooling, if I pursue the path of Packaging Engineer, to presumably replace the founder when he retires. I like the job, I don't hate it- I don't love it. It pays okay and it doesn't make me want to kill myself. Is a packaging engineer really what I want to do with the rest of my life? Maybe/Not Really.\n\nIncoming curve ball. I have the opportunity to work at the local county. I've heard county jobs are the best! This would pay dramatically more than my current job, however it is definitely not as interesting than what I currently am doing. County Jobs are great because they'll pay for some schooling as well, they offer EXCELLENT retirement benefits and plans and have the best benefits for insurance and all that jazz.\n\nSo here's my question.\n\nDo I risk it on the small company? Should I stick around doing what I enjoy to see if I can climb the ladder and make some actual money? I've been there two years and I've only got a $.50 raise so far. (Remember I'm not making much to begin with).\n\nOR\n\nDo I say \"Thanks for the experience!\" and take the higher paying (than currently getting paid, definitely not high paying), more stable county job? \n\nI'm so lost reddit, I don't even.", "summary": "Have a good job. Pays \"ok\". Opportunity to climb ladder. I can get better government job, pays better. Opportunity to climb is less, perhaps more stable though. What do?"} {"id": "t3_3rzhyg", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by slamming my cats tail in my door accidentally", "post": "Okay so this wasn't today, it was about a month ago. I live in a house with my parents and we have a couple cats. My room is located directly across from the bathroom, and my cat has an annoying habit of staring at whoever is peeing while they pee. He'll barge right in and sit down for the show. So my room. Quick explanation: I have a habit of quickly opening my door into my room, side-stepping forward and left in, sweeping my right foot in a clockwise arc around the path of the returning door, and quickly shutting the door as fast as possible. It feels very ninja. Anyway, the cat apparently forgot I do this, as it paused in my doorway as i entered my room after peeing (i keep my door shut to keep the little cat out, he tears shit up) with its tail draped behind it. One heartbreaking screech later, i manage to get him and check his tail only to find that somehow the action of the door and doorframe has literally skinned the tip of his tail. we rush him to the vet, and he gets it cleaned and stitched, something like 16 stitches or something, although counting stitches is stupid because its all one thread. he's all better now and he still loves me but ive added a special left foot sweep back into my entrance routine to prevent further disaster from occurring. \n\n(unsure if needed)", "summary": "I skinned my cat's tail partially and he had to get stitches and i still feel horrible about it ;__;"} {"id": "t3_4sz7pm", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "NSV: I wasn't embarrassed when someone noticed I lost weight!", "post": "The scale says I have lost 17 pounds. I didn't really notice any physical changes but I also know how critical I can be to myself. (I never took body measurements out of fear of the outcome, stepping on the scale was hard enough.) I had heard or read that others won't start noticing until you lose 30 pounds. I thought okay so I am a little over half way of 30 pounds, I won't have to worry about any comments until then. I have been dreading the moment someone asks me \"Have you lost weight?\" It just brings a painful awareness to the fact that yes I was heavier at some point and I'm not too proud of that. I thought if this were to happen I would be embarrassed.\n\nI had not gone to a one of my favorite pizza shops in a few months since I was looking for work and didn't have excess funds and I wanted to stop myself from temptation both in excess food and spending too much money. I came in yesterday and the owner is someone who knows almost every customer's name and face, asked if I had lost weight. Instead of feeling awkward, or pained, I was proud. I beamed and said \"Why, yes I have. I have been working really hard at it.\" I freaking owned my past weight but that was not my focus. I am really proud of the hard work I put in these past 3 months. I don't always give myself enough credit and it is hard for me to accept a compliment but I was able to do both those things in that moment!", "summary": "Someone I knew asked if I lost weight, thought it would make me uncomfortable. It didn't I was beaming."} {"id": "t3_3y8fkw", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by getting drunk in a third world country bar with my father in law", "post": "This actually happened a few months ago.. So my father in law invited me to a local bar in a small town in Nicaragua. My FIL is a heavy drinker and he's known to get very drunk to the point he passes out. There's no talking him out of it. So we go in and start drinking. I tend to go out with little money in case I get robbed. So an hour in to drinking, my father in law is piss drunk. I'm getting drunk, but staying conscious enough to know what's going on. I told him I'm out of money and we should go. He tells me he has money and to order more drinks. At this point, I stop drinking to try to sober up a little and he keeps going. Eventually he passes out. So I'm ready to go, wake him up and tell him to pay the tab. He reaches in his pocket and apparently he left his money at home. The bar owner replies \"in that case, we keep the old man until you come back with the money.\" So I leave the bar, a drunk American late at night in a third world country walking home drawing the attention of every robber in a mile radius. I got lost walking back and ended up at the opposite side of the town and what do you know, I get robbed. Luckily I had no cash on me, but he did take my shoes. So now, no shoes, confused and lost I eventually run into someone that knew my wife's family and drove me home. I picked up some money, put shoes on and went back to the bar with the ride. My father in law was sleeping at one of the tables not having a clue of what I just went through.", "summary": "Went to a bar in Nicaragua with my heavy drinking father in law, he passes out, no money for the tab, bar holds my FIL as pawn, got lost, got robbed for my shoes."} {"id": "t3_4bw1rk", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "(18/m) broke up with my girlfriend(17/f) a month ago, trying to fix it.", "post": "i broke up with my girl of 6 months in febuary after we both was feeling really bad. After trying to cut connection I couldn't and we kept o talking. We meet and talked and said we would try again but she wasnt sure, she keept on changing her mind. last weekend I gave her the things we always talked about a date around her city and we then talked again. She told me her feelings had cool down a bit and she wasnt sure what she felt. but we decided to talk and give it some time, not fooling around with other people. She is now away on a trip for 2 weeks in asia and i really miss talk to her. Maybe I should give up but i wont because this is so right. so please guys no tips about letting her go because i wont. I will fight with all my power to get her back. I just don't now exactly what to do at the moment. She is my life, I talk to her all the time and nobody gets me like her. What should I do so she don't forget me? In afterhand i know i broke up because I panicked. every tips what do is appreciated.", "summary": "broke up with gf, didnt stop talk, missed her talked alot about us she isnt sure but iam not willing to let go off something that great."} {"id": "t3_so94m", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm 22 I just watched My Neighbor Totoro for the first time for a pretty weird reason. What awesome things have you missed out on until specific circumstances gave you an excuse to experience them?", "post": "Browsing reddit, as many of us are wont to do, I came across this pic someone linked of \"[scary totoro] I'd seen this image numerous times before online, and I remember hearing that there was a rumour surrounding the movie. I checked the comments and sure enough someone was kind enough to link [this blog post] \n\nNot wanting to spoil the movie by reading the urban legend surrounding it, I busted out my *Studio Ghibli* 4 disc set (purchased from a totally legit, totally not a bootlegger kiosk in a Chinese mall, five years ago in Toronto for $10), and finally, after all the years of putting it off, I watched *My Neighbor Totoro*. I enjoyed it now probably more than I would have as an attention deficit child (although I guess I can't know for sure).\n\nAs for the urban legend, I think it's more likely that Mr. Miyazaki was inspired by the tragic story and created a spiritual alternative to it, and rather than literally, or metaphorically, killing the girls, created an alternate life for them in homage to the family. But who's to say for sure? It's fun to think about the ideas and rumours either way.", "summary": "I watched *Totoro* for the first time because I was interested in the rumours about it, but didn't want the rumours to spoil the film."} {"id": "t3_126hds", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Today I was learning about the grips of the hand in anatomy, and it depressed me. Reddit, what's the oddest/least logical reason you've ever had for feeling depressed or upset?", "post": "To clarify, some of the ways in which you use your hand to grip things have been categorised. There is for example the power grip, which you would use to hold a hammer, and the precision grip, where you hold a pen, say, between your forefinger and your opposed thumb, resting the object on your middle finger. \nLearning about these complex mechanisms that have evolved completely shattered my illusion that you can \"do what you want\" with your hands. In fact, there is a limited set of functions, each one incredibly complex physiologically, which have evolved for specific purposes. Making a fucking fist to punch someone is something we have evolved to be able to do well! It's not just a meme (anymore), it's anatomically facilitated by, for example, the varying mobility of your metacarpals. Now I think it's all awesome though. Or I did, until I started writing this!\nSo what stuff have you ever felt depressed about without good reason?", "summary": "I felt depressed reading about the grips of the hand, but after a break I actually found them awesome. Made me wonder, what sort of weird stuff has made you feel depressed? "} {"id": "t3_4aexo0", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by ignoring what a stranger was saying to me", "post": "Happened a couple years ago but another TIFU reminded me of my experience.\n\nI was at a Cubs game in chicago with family. I used to love going to the games but they sucked and never won. I think i went to 20 games and they only won one of those games. So im at this game with my brother and cousins and we are winning at the 7th inning by alot. it is looking promising. \n\nMy brother gets a phone call and has to leave. Everyone else starts talking \"yea lets go now, they won, i dont want to get stuck in traffic\". Not me, i wanted to stay. I called up my buddy and asked if he can pick me up from the train station (orange line at midway) if i decide to stay at the game. He agrees and sends his sister.\n\nGame is done, lots of fun, i leave and im waiting to be picked up. There were alot of people so his sister calls me and has trouble finding me so im on the phone trying to direct her to where i am and some guy approaches with a cup in hand. Hes trying to talk to me even though im on the phone talking. I point at the phone to him and he continues to try. i dont like giving money to panhandlers that look like drunks but i wanted him to get away from me so i pull out a single and stick it in his cup.....then i hear him say \"what the FCK!\"\n\nthe cup was full of a drink. he wasnt homeless, he was just a guy asking for directions. i basically made him feel like he looked like a homeless guy. :(", "summary": "stranger tried talking to me while i was on the phone so i thought he was homeless. put a dollar in his cup. cup was full of a drink, not homless."} {"id": "t3_36e83y", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "IRA Help", "post": "Hello everyone. I've been saving and keep going back and forth about a few different investments. Here i'd like to talk about my IRA.\n\nI've had it for 2 years and it showed a 7% return over that whole time. Basically, I added up the money I put in plus the money my company matched, figured the difference and divided (what I invested / current earnings) to get my percentage. Is this normal? Is it good? Bad? I see a lot of websites bragging about 8% annual returns in an IRA.\n\nAt first I was going with low price funds, preferably with dividends for growth potential and reinvesting dividends for more shares.\n\nHowever, i've now changed to the 3 stock option.\n\nI chose index funds with the lowest fees.\n70% Vanguard 500 index admiral\n15% Columbia mid cap index fund\n15% Columbia small cap index A\n\nI'm putting 5% of my salary in with 5% salary match.\nI should mention this is a 403b.\nDoes this count towards my IRA contributions for the year?\nAre these index funds worth investing an extra 10-30% of my salary?\n\nI really want to get a sizable amount of money in there as quick as possible to reap the rewards of compounding interest in the long run.", "summary": "Are my investments bad? Are 403b contributions counted towards your IRA limit? Is it worth passing up buying a house to get as much money in my retirement account as possible?"} {"id": "t3_1rh6of", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[18m] have found out my ex girlfriend [18f] has cheated on me with atleast eight different people. I am a bit confused on my feelings. The relationship lasted a year.", "post": "I went out with her for a year, she took my virginity it was a nice relationship. She had told me about her cheating on me at two different occasions. I decided to be the bigger person and forgive and forget.\n\nNow I have found out that she had cheated on me with 4 random guys from parties, thats not that big of a deal, alcohol does that to people.\n\nBut the other four are my friends, and thats what hurts the most. One of them was bragging about it to my other friend. Who then told me. The other two confessed it about a week after the relationship. And the last one is now dating her. They started dating about 36 hours after we broke up.\n\nWith all of my friends it was more then one encounter.\n\nI'm not even mad, I'm just kind of confused. I don't get it. How do I react in a situation like this. Everyone knew about her cheating on me yet didn't tell me. I feel just down. What do I tell my friends, that they're assholes? Or do I let it slide. Only two of them apologized. I feel disconnected. This is actually stupid.\n\nI want to get mad but I can't. I have been cheated on in almost every relationship I have had. People cheat I get that. But my friends I really don't get.\n\nOn a plus note though one of the party guys bought me a big mac when I ran into him at McDonalds.", "summary": "I have been cheated on quite a bit. And my friends are the ones who helped her cheat and I am so confused on how to react."} {"id": "t3_20vo9n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] with my sister [14F] college student wondering how to be a better role model/sister?", "post": "I'm a 21F college student, living an hour away from parents' home, who could use advice on becoming a better role model/older sister. I have two sisters, the younger is 14, the older 18. I'm looking for advice with regards to the 14year-old sister because I feel like she is more vulnerable to the at-home tension from my parents' arguing (they're married but don't get along well, additionally they show signs of depression (like the fact that much of their days consist of watching TV) that I didn't notice until living away from them) than is the 18year-old, though I welcome any advice on being a better role model/sibling to the older or both.\n\nMy 14year-old sister is a high school freshman. She's involved in cheerleading and for the most part earns good grades, although she struggles in some classes. I'd love to help inspire her in pursuing her interest for photography or any other interests she may develop. \n\nBoth of my sisters and I get along well, but I find myself feeling like I fall short in supporting them in their high school/college endeavors. These are general hopes, but I want them to be intelligent/independent/rational, to aim for academic success (for the younger, the older is a dedicated student), and to be able to appreciate themselves and their friends (which is sometimes difficult given the at-home tension). Out of those, I guess I'd mostly like to foster their intelligence and emotional strength.\n\nI'm unsure which other details to include - let me know if more are needed.", "summary": "How can I be a better role model/older sibling to my 14year-old freshman sister, given that my married-but-don't-get-along parents cause tension and don't set the best example for living?"} {"id": "t3_3wz2la", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] with my fwb [29M] of ~18 months. Things are getting really confusing between us and he won't talk to me about it.", "post": "We originally met ~18 months ago at the gym. He asked me on a date and we went out a couple times but we both realized neither of us were really looking for a serious relationship at the time (yeah, it's a cliche but I just got out of a relationship that ended badly). So we decided to be FWB and it has been a lot of fun.\n\nOver the last year we have got closer and closer. We stay at each other's places, go out to breakfast. We go out for drinks - we never call it a date but I guess it sort of is. Last week he invited me to his work party, again never mentioning the word date. \n\nIt's getting kind of complicated and I hate being in this stage of not knowing where we're at with the relationship. We don't talk about other people we've slept with but I had sex with someone else a couple weeks ago and I feel guilty about it. I've not felt like that before with him and I don't know why but I'm nervous he will find out.\n\nSo it's obvious I like him and I would like to be on from just being FWB. It does almost feel like more than that already though because we spend so much time together. After his work party I got the courage to talk to him about what was going on with us. He was very reluctant to talk and kept saying he didn't want to ruin things by changing anything. But I feel things *have* changed between us and it is mutual. I don't think it is just me that thinks this is more than sex now. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong but he won't talk about it and I'mnot sure what to do. If he does like me then I don't want to lose him but if he doesn't like me then maybe it is time to end it. Any advice to get him to talk or can any me give some insight into what he might be thinking? Or is it even worth trying to talk to him again?", "summary": "relationship status between my fwb and I has got confusing. he won't talk about it and now I'm not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_2nnwx1", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[M/22] This is kinda embarrassing, (and painful) which is why I want to stop it", "post": "Throwaway account, obviously.\n\nI've not had many girlfriends in the past, my last one that we classed as a relationship was 2012, and that only lasted a few weeks, but now I'm older and relationships get more intimate, there's something I can't stop\n\nTwo years ago, I hooked up with a girl who I liked, we slept together and everything was great, but there was one problem. I could NOT get rid of my erection, even just laying in bed with her head on my shoulder seemed to set me off, even the slightest movement.\n\nNow, I'm heading into what will probably be a good relationship and last night we were sat on my bed, just listening to music, her just a few inches from me/with her head on my shoulder, but I still have the same problem, my erection just won't go. When we eventually kissed for the first time it was even worse. She pretended not to notice, and I had skinny jeans on so it might no have been as obvious as it could have been, but I still think she noticed, and it kinda embarrassed me a little, because these kind of actions should, surely be fairly innocent and not get me this turned on.\n\nMy question is, is there any way to stop it, or control it at the very least? I saw a thread about flexing muscles to calm it, but it wasn't that effective.", "summary": "New girlfriend, I keep getting erections when cuddling or doing innocent actions such as holding hands, and I want to be able to control it."} {"id": "t3_2gdqv4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19M] want my ex-girlfriend [18F] back, but I'm not sure how to do it.", "post": "I broke up with my girlfriend in July because I was going to university and I would be moving out of the city and it would be difficult to be with each other. She had wanted to move in with me, but I had refused.\n\nI thought I would get over her, but that has been unsuccessful. Before I actually moved out, I called her. She had another boyfriend already. I was crushed.\n\nFast forward three weeks, we are talking now, texting every day and Skyping rather frequently. She says she wants to break up with her boyfriend, and that she misses me. However, she still does not seem interested in getting back together.\n\nIs there any hope for me? We are talking a lot now, and I really do love her, and it's killing me that she is hesitant to be with me again, despite how she always says how happy she was with me.\n\nWhat do I do? Just play the waiting game?", "summary": "broke up with gf, decided I wanted to be with her, she had a bf already, she's breaking up with him, misses me but doesn't want to get back together."} {"id": "t3_3hipje", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "HELP!!! My truck was wrecked, and the at-fault insurance company is calling my truck a total loss. They are not going to pay the full value of my truck due to policy limits. Will they also take possession of my truck?", "post": "So far the insurance company has been dragging their feet, as the accident was over a month ago (July 11), and they only sent out an adjuster to look at it yesterday. I have repeatedly asked my attorney to make them pay for a rental car, and the only thing they have told us is we would have to pay for it.\n\nBecause there were several cars damaged in the wreck, and the policy limit for property damage is only 10,000 dollars, I will not be receiving the full value of my truck in compensation. I do not know if they will be taking my truck as salvage, or if I will be able to keep it. I do realize, that you are able to buy the vehicle back by paying the salvage value, but I am hoping this will not be the case here, as I am already coming out behind due to the policy limits.", "summary": "I am losing money due to another driver causing an accident, and I am worried the insurance company will take my truck."} {"id": "t3_26zu40", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How should I [21 M] deal with my girlfriend [22 F] breaking her promise?", "post": "My gf is volunteering abroad for 2 months, and is staying in a volunteer house with 2 bedrooms with bunk beds (1 for guys, 1 for girls).\n\nHowever, she just arrived the first night and found that there was a man (35 yrs old, much older than her) who has been sleeping in the \"girls\" room for the past few months he has been volunteering because the other girls don't mind.\n\nBefore she left, my girlfriend **promised me that she would not share rooms with guys, and would always stay in another room.** However, it is now the first night and she texted me saying she is too afraid of making people not like her to ask the man to move to the guy's room, and that she isn't going to say anything even tho she wishes he would move to the guys room. She thinks everyone will think she is a bitch for asking this (the rooms are clearly designated as guys and girls bedrooms).\n\nI'm really pissed, I don't know how I should respond because she specifically promised she would not sleep in the same room as a guy. I see that it isn't her fault that he is there, but the fact that she is too afraid to ask him to move is making me really mad. How should I respond? I do not like the idea of my gf sharing a room with a guy for the next 2 months.\n\nI have no doubts about my gf being faithful, I am just mad that she would rather make me upset (she keeps apologizing to me) than say something to the guy. This issue is particularly important because she promised to not share rooms with guys so that we can maintain trust in our relationship while she is away.", "summary": "GF promised me not to share rooms with guys, but broke her promise on the first night away, how should I respond?"} {"id": "t3_27jcha", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Are my (21 m) feelings about my girlfriend's (21 f) actions justified?", "post": "A bit of background: \n\nMy girlfriend and I have been dating for the better part of 3 years. For a month or two last summer we had a rough time, during which she had a male friend who was helping her through it. During this time, he expressed he had strong feelings for her, which she has only told me about tonight. They spent nearly every day together, often just the two of them. most times I saw her that summer she was with him. I had asked her about him and his intentions before, which she had told me they were just friends. He went away for college and they stayed in contact. Fast forward to this summer. \n\nThey have been spending an exorbitant amount of time in each other's company, once again oftentimes alone and he will spend the night at her house frequently. Yesterday they went to a tattoo parlor with a mutual friend of ours, who later reported to me that they seemed unusually close. She had him hold her hand throughout the tattoo process, which I get cause ribcage tattoos hurt. I asked today her how the tattoo went and casually brought up if she had to hold someone's hand. She told me she held the hand of the other friend, my informant, rather than the guy she actually did. I didn't ask further until later that night, when I asked in a way where she knew something was up. She answered honestly and I called her out for lying earlier. She said she didn't want me to get mad and she knew I was getting annoyed by the amount of time they would spend together. I'll admit, it has been getting under my skin and I do have a history of letting my anger get the better of me. One long conversation later, we broke up from lack of honesty and I felt if she felt the need to lie, something was up. \n\nAm I blowing this out of proportion or does there seem to be more between them then she's letting on?", "summary": "Girlfriend spent a lot of time with this guy and started lying about physical contact (hand holding) with said guy. I broke up with her, was it a bad move?"} {"id": "t3_4gbdnm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [2 7F] with my housemate [20's F] communication/space issues", "post": "I live with three housemates, going on two months. One I hardly see shares a room with her sister, the housemate in question. I find it hard talking to her sister because she talks a lot about herself and often speaks over me or asks questions without giving me much time to answer them. Lately I have been feeling depressed and to get out of my funk I want to clean or cook, sometimes in unoccupied space. I would want to do things even with her around but her communication style can be a little off putting for me. She can be nice like offering rides but it's strictly based on her schedule, so not much flexibility. Is there some way to tell her that her style of communication is making it uncomfortable for me to function in the apartment?", "summary": "Housemate's communication style makes me uncomfortable and I find it harder to function around the apartment with her around. Is there something I can say to her to make my stay more comfortable?"} {"id": "t3_2l509o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19M] am crazy about my co-worker [23F] who has feelings for me too, but has been strange lately.", "post": "A co-worker and I have very strong feelings for each other and have been having a connection for the past month. We used to cuddle, hug, and do cute things for each other all the time, but something happened in her life that made her not herself, and with that she changed how she acted towards me.\n\nShe didn't want anyone from work knowing that we were somewhat dating, so we kept it a secret and I was fine with that, and complied with her wishes. She always told me how strong her feelings were towards me, and she (kinda) knew how I felt towards her. (I think I am in love). She is my dream girl, I cannot fathom how perfect she is. \n\nRecently, her roommates were kicked out of her house for not paying rent for 2 months straight, so she has been stressed out about that and I have been doing things to make her feel better (flowers, candy, etc) and she appreciates them. But when I try to hang out with her, she always comes up with an excuse. She never picks up my calls, but texts me back instantly when it goes to voicemail, and sometimes doesn't even text me back, when she texts me first. I tried talking to her about things but she keeps avoiding it. I'm at the point where I feel like she has forgotten about me, and I don't want to lose her. What do you think I should do, because this has been weighing me down heavily the past few weeks.", "summary": "Girl who I am crazy about used to make me feel invincible, but suddenly pushed me farther and farther away and I don't want to lose her. What do think I should do?"} {"id": "t3_34wnbk", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "Planning 1 month July adventure", "post": "Sorry for the broad title, but I didn't want to bog it down with too much information. \nMy budget is reasonable to a point, however when I don't travel with my wife I'm more inclined to make sacrifices on my accommodations to save money. I'd like to try and not go over 4000 USD. I'm 32, and I'm past doing the hostel thing so most likely I'd be in a small hotel, or if it involved the outdoors I could camp.\n\nHow about I list some places I've been: \n-Most of the continental US, almost all the major national parks\n-Costa Rica\n-Portugal\n-Spain\n-Ireland \n-Amsterdam\n-Belgium\n-France\n-Turkey\n-Tokyo\n-Seoul \n-Hong Kong\n-Jordan\n-Lebanon\n-South Africa\n\nI'm located in the continental US, but really haven't spent much time in South America. I'd say my interests lie right now in something that lets me get a city energy for a little, and then affords me access to natural or man-made ancient wonders. \n\nSome places on my lists of hopes are Argentina or Chile with a trip to Patagonia along with it. I wanted this trip a while back but was short on time to be able to do it, and got some great help here too on this subreddit. I'd say of all my trips I enjoyed the middle east a lot, and Tokyo especially. I'm hesitant to go all the way back out to east Asia, because that's a trip my wife wants to make with me. \n\nI'm definitely a bit burned out on europe, and of course in time for the Euro to actually be reasonable. \n\nSo with everything in mind, any suggestions in South America or places I may not be thinking of that fit my style of travel? The only wild card would be something like New Zealand but just getting there is like 1700$.\n\nI know this is a long read, but I appreciate any input :)", "summary": "I have 1 month to visit, spent a lot of time in europe, really can't do east asia right now, and have interest in South America."} {"id": "t3_3ax164", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22M] of over a year, I'm starting to feel weird about his friend", "post": "It was my boyfriends birthday last week and when I posted on his facebook wall I saw a post from his (28/F) friend who is married with kids. She wished him happy birthday with lots of x's, said she missed him (she moved away a few years ago) and said she loved him. I really regret it, but I went through her Facebook photos and saw \"sultry\" looking photos of her and my boyfriend had liked them (but this was before we met).\n\nI tried asking a bit about their friendship and after I asked something about it, it came out that he tells her she's beautiful. They also Skype whenever they are both free because of time zones. I just kind of dropped the topic after he said he calls her beautiful.\n\nIs it weird that he had liked her sultry photos? Is it normal for him to tell her she's beautiful? And should the \"I love you's\" bother me? Or is this just something I need to let go? I have history of feeling insecure so I don't know if I'm reading too much into it.", "summary": "Boyfriend has older female friend who he calls beautiful and says I love you to, not sure how I should take it based on past insecurity issues"} {"id": "t3_1ctczy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23M] Dont know how to handle my girlfriend [21F] having a guy friend that makes me uncomfortable.", "post": "Let me say this, I am usually the most secure, relaxed and passive dude when it comes to a relationship. I've never been controlling at all or jealous but their is this one guy whom she is friends with that i know shes hooked up with back when she was like 17.. (21 now) and they were friends before and after. Im now seeing he is liking a lot of her instagram pictures and vice versa with her liking his shit. We've been hooking up for going on 5 years but only serious for 4 months or like 16 weeks.. when I saw a comment on his instagram from her saying \"You could just be my baby daddy\" as a joke but it is fucking sticking in my head and bothering me. She goes to the gym and told me he was texting her like \"Am I gonna get to see you at the gym tonight\", stuff along those lines.", "summary": "My girlfriend has a dude thats like all over her instagram n shit and im kinda getting jealous, dont know how to handle it."} {"id": "t3_4uwpy2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] and my dead friend's ex [26 F] kissed and may turn into something more.", "post": "So the story begins with one of my best friends dying of a drug overdose back in April of 2010. He had recently had a baby with his girlfriend at the time. He was a very good friend of mine and his death really affected our friend group hard. \n\nRecently, me and his (ex?)Girlfriend were out with some friends and, to make a long story short, we ended of kissing (just kissing) in my driveway until morning. It was possibly one of the best kisses I've ever had. Afterwards, I walked her back to her car and we both went home to sleep. Nothing too serious has come of it since then (we're supposed to get together today for a while).\n\nHowever, since that night I have been feeling terrible about it. I've been thinking about nothing but how friends/family are going to react that I'm seeing my dead best friend's child's mother. I guess my question is, if something serious does come of this, how do I tell my friends/family?", "summary": "Me and my dead friend's child's mother had a great kiss and now I am worried about the reaction of friends and family if we start dating."} {"id": "t3_44sxs0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Breaking up a long distance relationship", "post": "Me and my girlfriend have been in a long distance relationship for over a year, she's 20 and I'm 28. It's come to a point where we both need to call it a day as we're in different stages in life and the distance isn't working out anymore (it's a three hour drive). We both knew because of the circumstances it would never work and our intentions were never going to to be long term/serious. So I explained that we need to break up and she's fine with that, but she's asked to meet up one last time, talk it out and say our goodbyes. Is that a good idea? I guess we both need closure and it's not like we're ending on bad terms.", "summary": "told girlfriend we need to break up, she wants to see me and say goodbye. Not sure if I should see her."} {"id": "t3_1hr8hm", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "College student on well-paid co-op with no idea what to do with the money", "post": "Hi personalfinance!\n\nI'm a 21 year old college student studying computer science, currently on co-op for the summer, doing a separate co-op in the fall. I've got one semester of college remaining before I graduate, when I expect to have a pretty well paid full time job, assuming I don't screw up at the co-ops. My issue is that I've gotten NO financial education from my parents and despite trying to learn on my own I'm not sure what to do.\n\nPart of the reason my parents didn't teach me about finances is that they were/are pretty irresponsible with their own. This led to my mother deciding to not fill out the FAFSA because she thought we wouldn't get any aid. She's been paying for my college tuition out of pocket and savings, and while I am incredibly greatful, I think she's screwing herself over and we're not even getting the grants we should be getting. The last two years I got it submitted and we took some grants but no loans, so I will be graduating a very expensive university with no student loan debt.\n\nMeanwhile, my CS co-ops are very well paid. The summer one will pay about $20,100 before taxes and the fall will be about $21,000 before taxes. The first is in Washington so I'm paying federal taxes and taxes for my home state (NY) and the second is in California so I believe I'll be paying federal, CA, and NY taxes, but I expect to get a lot back come April.\n\nI would like some advice on what to with the money I\"m making. I have to pay for my own rent and food, and I want to spend a little on entertainment, but I also want to do something responsible with the rest. Currently I'm just taking $1000 per month for food, rent, and other expenses and putting the rest into my savings account. Is there something better I can do with the money to help it grow for the future?", "summary": "Computer Science student on summer/fall co-op, making $41,100 before taxes, no student loan debt, what do I do with the money?"} {"id": "t3_1yxqjc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [25/F] 6 months, I think she may have undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. Is it my place to address the issue?", "post": "I've been dating my current girlfriend for close to 6 months now. Based on what I've experienced with her and what other knowledgable sources (friends with medical backgrounds) have observed she may have borderline personality disorder.\n\nShe has shared with me very personal details of her past (sexual abuse from a non family member, and a history of cutting) that indicate she has risk factors for the disorder, and based on extensive research I've done she meets much of the criteria for the disorder as well. However I am fully aware I am not a medical expert and do not have the capability to diagnose such a thing, especially a disorder as complex as BPD.\n\nThat being said, my question is not whether she may have such a disorder, but whether it is my place to broach the subject with her in the first place. I have only dated the girl for a short time now, and the disorder can be very serious, and such a conversation cannot be made lightly.\n\nIs this something that should be left for her family to take of? Or is it my responsibility as a person who cares for her to make her aware of what I think? Her parents are involved in her life and have helped her through previous issues...should I contact them directly?\n\nI'm just not sure what is appropriate in this situation.", "summary": "I believe my girlfriend of 6 months may have undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. Is it appropriate for me to share my concerns?"} {"id": "t3_tcrxu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "21F and I always \"brozone\" myself.", "post": "Hello all!!! Here is the story. I am a 21 year old female with a unique issue. I was raised by my dad, and I have my own share of commitment issues. I'm terrified that someone is going to bet under my skin and hurt me, so I usually date guys that I feel sort of apathetic towards. Like, I like them, but not enough to where they can hurt me. Recently, I met a guy that changed that. \n\nHe is, quite possibly the most attractive guy I have ever met. We've hung out a couple times, had sex (it's not a huge deal to either of us), and I see myself starting to do something I do pretty often. \n\nWhen I meet a guy that I think I could have real feelings for, I tend to \"brozone\" myself. I call it brozining because it's a little more severe than friendzoning in my opinion. I tend to GO OUT OF MY WAY to make the guy think I am super tough and stuff. I'll arm wrestle with them, tell them I'm tougher, eat spicier food, etc. \n\nI really like this guy, reddit. I do not want to mess this up. What are some ways I can AVIOD brozining????\n\nThanks for reading!!!", "summary": "Always seem to act manlier than guys I really like, so they'll think they can't hurt me. Met a good one, don't wanna do it."} {"id": "t3_4rrkki", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I moved 2 years ago to the US with my brother, he applied for a credit card and got accepted, I did the same got rejected, 6 months later he gets another credit card and he adds me as an authorized user, now my credit score shows 680", "post": "Hey anyone who reads this, I am a 26 years old guy living in south Texas, I moved almost two years ago from Mexico, I was born here in the US so I've always had the US citizenship.\n\nMy brother (28) and I have been going back and forward on the idea of coming to he US and make a life here, we finally decided to do it.\n\nAfter a few months my brother went to our local bank (IBC) to make some deposits and the teller gave him a credit card application which he filled and 2 weeks later he received a credit card, I did the same but through the website (I was making a little bit more than him at the time but we have been here the exact same time and have pretty much no record whatsoever) anyway I got rejected I received a letter saying that they had not enough credit information to report.\n\nAbout 6 or 8 months later he gets an application for a capital one credit card which he sent and 2 weeks later he gets a new credit card, he decided to add me as an authorized user using my full social security number, a week later I get my credit card.\n\nI'm using credit karma to see my credit score which I know can be inaccurate, but I was wondering if I actually got a credit bump by being added and if it's safe to apply for a new credit card", "summary": "After my brother added me as an authorized user my credit went from 0 to 680 on credit karma and I want to know if its safe to assume that I can aply for a credit card for myself now."} {"id": "t3_e0fl8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Does my friend have LEG CANCER?!", "post": "My friend and I were about to go get some food at 11 PM when he was resting his legs on my own. I was resting my hand on his leg and felt a weird bump below his kneecap. Upon lifting his pants-leg (which was totally fucking gay) and looking at it, closer inspection revealed that it was a mass of bone.\n\nHe thinks it's completely normal, I think he has supercancer or something.\n\nSo.... Anyone want to tell him that mass of bone isn't normal / tell us what it is? I'm aware of the Kneecap and the smaller kneecap-like bone behind it that helps facilitate movement, but this is below his kneecap, IE his leg doesn't run smoothly down, it has a jagged ridge of bone below his kneecap for a few inches before evening out.\n\nAny ideas what it is?", "summary": "HERES A PICTURE, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT I'M POINTING TO? IT'S BIGGER THAN THE PICTURE SHOWS"} {"id": "t3_3a0dds", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/m] does not understand what my best friend [20/f] wants--a friendship or something more?", "post": "Thank you for taking the time to read this. It means a lot. \n\nThere's a girl I've liked since I met her a year and a half ago, we'll call her Hannah to make it easier. Hannah and I have been friends with so many interests in multiple organizations in college, but never really hung out or spent a lot of extra time together outside of those commitments and class before the last 6 months. \n\nI finally coughed up the courage necessary to tell her how I feel and how she makes me feel, what I'd like (a relationship) a month ago. I told her how I'd liked her since I met her and that she never escapes my mind...etc. She told me she felt the same way, but did not want a relationship with me (at least right now) because she didn't think it would work. She cited assertiveness amongst her reasons. \nThis was devastating and confusing, and I really put her aside for a while to try and get over her. I just couldn't. I went on a date or two, no luck. Then, when we met back up finally, we seemed closer than ever. She fell asleep on top of me multiple times after we watched movies together late at night, seeming very flirtatious and \"cuddly\" altogether. \n\nNow, we text and talk constantly and are always looking for excuses to see each other. Question is, do I take this as her reaching for something more or do I still take what she said as fact and assume that she doesn't want a relationship at first? What does she want?", "summary": "my best friend told me she doesn't want to date me but acts as if that's all she really does want, so I'm confused about it."} {"id": "t3_2gpu21", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Somebody help me [24m] move on from my ex [21f].", "post": "Our relationship of a year and a half was great while it lasted and I understand why she wanted out. She felt that we don't connect as well as we used to and that things are better off this way. On top of that there were a few occasions where I didn't treat her properly and my negative attitude at the time (I was fairly depressed over the job I had) leaked into the relationship. \n\nIt's been 9 months and I've been making gradual progress in moving on (managed to get a new job and picked up a new hobby) but I'm finding it incredibly difficult. It feels like everything I've been doing to keep myself prroccupied has just been burying an issue that I dont want to face. I still care for her a lot. I miss her constantly and it sometimes feels as if thinking of her is the only thing pushing me along. The latest thing that hurts is that I think she's recently started seeing someone else. I know that she's no longer mine and she's very welcome to date anybody she likes. So I left her a message with something along the lines of \"hey I know that it's none of my business but if what I've seen is true and that you're seeing someone now, I just want to wish you good luck and that this person can treat you much better.\"\n\nI sent that message with real honesty and I really want her to find happiness (even if I can't be the one to love her and give that to her). I'd love it if we suddenly got back together but I know that's completely out of the question.\n\nShe hasn't talked or replied back to me since April despite my attempts at initiating conversation.\n\nSo how do I move on from where I am?...\n\nI've got a new job (3 months in), a new hobby (I picked up cycling to rehab my knee from an injury) and I'm a fairly musical person. Im a fairly good looking guy (as I've been told) however my confidence doesn't always show and I'm always shy when it comes to girls.\n\nI don't feel as though I have many friends and even then I feel a little out casted as sometimes our interests don't always fit.", "summary": "Need help moving on from ex girlfriend. It's 9 months in and I still have feelings for her despite trying to preoccupy myself with things to move on. Social awkwardness makes it difficult to even attempt to meet someone new."} {"id": "t3_1u6ya3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19M] am conflicted on dating a girl I like [16F].", "post": "I've been friends with a girl for the last four months or so. Throughout those months, we hung out a few times, have gone on a couple of dates, and kissed once. That being said, we have never had more than the label of \"friends\", and with the exception of last-night I haven't hung-out with her for 3 months. I invited her to a New Years Eve party, which she eagerly accepted. We ended up talking through the entire night, and ended it with a kiss. We parted ways after midnight because my group had plans to head off to the bar. Where I live, 16 is the age of consent.\n\nMorally, I'm conflicted on what to do. I feel terrible for leading this girl on for the last few months, and I'm well-aware of the fact that she has feelings for me. I think she's an awesome person. Attractive, funny, intelligent, and mature. I'm just incredibly hung up on the age difference. When I graduate college as a nurse, she'll just be graduating high-school (she is currently in grade 11). While I feel we're compatible, I think we may be at different stages in life. How can I gently gauge the situation without leading her on? I'm debating on inviting her out with some friends and I tomorrow night (they all love her) and seeing how it goes, but I really don't want to give her false hope because I'm simply not sure yet.", "summary": "I like a 16 year old, but I'm unsure if I want to pursue a relationship due to the age difference. While I like her, I feel we may be at different stages of life. What do?"} {"id": "t3_32x2eb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "FWB/Girlfriend (19F) keeps \"teasing\" me (18M) before sex? Not sure why.", "post": "Okay, so to summarize, I've known this girl for only a month, which isn't much time at all, so I'm not stressing about it too bad, but I'm looking for some advice nonetheless.\n\nI met her a month ago, and we quickly established a connection, starting hanging out whenever we had time, maybe 3 times a week or so, and as of yet we don't really have a clear title in terms of a relationship, we've just established that we won't fuck other people and were more than friends. \n\nI think I should mention we've never actually had sex, because whenever we seem close, she'll just push me away and smile, which she likes to call \"teasing\". I'm pretty sure there's a deeper meaning behind it, so I'm turning to you guys. A few important things to note\n\n1. We've done other sexual favours etc, just never sex\n2. The first time she did this, she claimed she just \"really wanted me to want it\" but I'm starting to think that's not the case\n3. The one time she completely wanted to do it was when we were both kinda high on pills, and I was so fucked up I just laid there and said nothing, and that's when she decided she fully wants to, but I was too messed up to really get excited, so she just called it off.\n\nI hope you guys can help me, thank you in advance. I can answer any further questions if needed.", "summary": "girlfriend (kind of) refuses to have sex in a playful manor, not sure why or how I can try to change her approach."} {"id": "t3_1db6ax", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(21F) boyfriend (25M) just walked out on me.", "post": "We've been dating for 6 months, knew each other for over a year.\n\nWe had gotten in a big fight about two months ago because he was paranoid I was cheating on him (even though we'd spend almost every night together). We split up for a few days and got back together, but it was never the same after that. I guess just knowing he doesn't trust me at all, for no reasons other than his own insecurities and paranoia, has made me start questioning our relationship.\n\nAnyway, I'm trying to make it work because I really care about this guy. He's super sweet, and he really doesn't have a lot of friends or support system. I want to be there for him. But after that fight I just can't get those feelings for him anymore. I never feel like having sex anymore, when we're together I don't want to cuddle much or be intimate. I like being with him but I just can't get in the mood anymore. \n\nToday we were hanging out in my apartment and he was asking me to cuddle. After some back and forth about it I laid down next to him and he asked if something was wrong. I told him the truth, that I just didn't feel the spark anymore, but I wanted things to work out and I still wanted to be with him. His response was just getting up, getting dressed, and leaving. He texted me a few minutes later saying he'd call me in an hour when he's cooled off. \n\nI just don't know what to do. Should I even try to salvage this relationship? I want him back but I can't help but feel I'd just be prolonging an inevitable break up. I don't want to string him along either...", "summary": "Can't get intimate with boyfriend anymore, he's not too happy about it and isn't sure if he can stay with me. I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_3foqdv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not washing my jeans.", "post": "This morning I was getting dressed for work and went for my trusty dark skinny jeans that I wear 70% of the time. Since they are a dark wash I don't wash them frequently, and they had just come out of my suitcase all folded from a trip I just returned from, looked like they were fresh and reasy to go! I finish getting ready for work in a bit of a hurry and head out the door. I spent most of my morning at my desk, then had a meeting with my boss, then went to a supplier presentation in a conference room with a big table (15 people) and listened to their review for about an hour.\n\nAt the end of the supplier meeting, which went over time, I start to stand up and make moves to leave since I have other meetings. \n\nAs I stand up and push my chair in, I see something on the ground under my chair. It is what appears to be a lacey thong sitting on the ground. It then quickly dawns on me that those are MY dirty underwear, assumingly stuck in the pant leg from the last time I wore these jeans! I quickly bend down to scoop up my panties into a ball in one hand, and hide it under my notebook. I walk to my desk in a hurry and shove the panties in my laptop bag to take home.\n\n I sit at my desk and contemplate the possibility of anyone having seen the undies. I was the first one to stand up so I doubt anyone else saw them sitting under my chair during the meeting. Still, easily the most embarassing thing to happen to me at work.", "summary": "Dirty lacey undies fell out of my pant leg onto the floor of a conference room during a meeting at work. Still praying no one saw."} {"id": "t3_34sgn3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to enroll into a girls only high school.", "post": "Like the majority of the posts here, this happened a few years back, after I had moved in to this city. It was early September, and I had to find a high school to enroll in. My uncle asked his colleague if he knows any good high schools, and he told my uncle about this one school that ranks among the top in the city. Since the school year had already started, we had to act fast and get me into a school, so we decide to leave in 10 minutes.\n\nEarly afternoon, we arrive at the school. As we walked to the entrance, my uncle and I noticed a lot of fine girls around the school, and he's like \"you must be lucky, look at the amount of girls here\", and I agree with him.\n\nWe walk into the school, and these women start to give us a weird look, but we just ignore them. We go into the registrar's office, and we sit down.\n\n\"Hello, this is my nephew, and I would like to enroll him into this school.\"\n\n\"Umm... Sorry sir, but you do realize, this is an all-girls private school. Unfortunately, we can't accept your nephew here.\"\n\n\"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... Sorry about that, we didn't pay attention.\"\n\nWe walked out of the school, and the girls are all staring at us. My uncle goes, \"what a shame, and we were just saying that these girls are damn fine...\"", "summary": "uncle finds out about this school that I could enroll in, we blindly go there without doing any prior research, find out it's an all girls school."} {"id": "t3_m2ym1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Crime is getting pretty bad around my school, and not really sure what to do about it.", "post": "So I go to a college in a small town; the town is not the wealthiest of places, but muggings have gotten really common both on campus and off. Last night a friend of mine was walking home at about 1 am, where he was confronted by five males, and he didn't have any money on him, so they all just beat him up pretty badly. Last weekend there were some armed muggings as well. I am just seeing if anyone has any suggestions as to how to deal with this because I am not feeling completely safe anymore. I am afraid of my girlfriend walking the seven minuted from her house to my house, and just do not feel safe going anywhere after dark. Is there even anything I can do about it? If I happend to be mugged, what should I realistically do? Should I just book it and run as fast as possible or give them my money and hope they dont stab me.", "summary": "Muggings have gotten pretty bad around my school and I dont know how to deal with it. Also, if I am mugged, how should I act?"} {"id": "t3_34j5m4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] interested in a friend [19 F] known for a couple of years, who says we probably wouldn't work out because her parents are racist.", "post": "Honestly, this girl is amazing and so far shes already more of a interesting person, than my ex. I like everything about her, and I did confess but what confused me is, she never really rejected me based on her thoughts. She only said she things we could never be more than friends and if we did, become more her racist parents would be a problem. ( I am African American) she is (Trinidadian of Indian descent). \nThe only issue I have with this is because she never told me what she thought about be besides saying a that I'm an awesome guy before saying the rest. \n\nIt also confuses me because I know she is very much an independent woman and a free thinker, so I can't seem to picture her dating a specific type of guy so her parents wont cause problems. Perhaps she has a weak spot for family and I understand.\n\nSo am I wasting my time? My best friend told me I should just take it slow (Kind of not focus on it) and see if any thing changes through out time and if not then just move on.\n\nEven after that rejection we still talk perfectly fine as much as we did before.", "summary": "Amazing girl, I would love to have a chance to date but her only reason that she gave for us not being able to be together is because of her parents' racial views."} {"id": "t3_4kzpog", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [28 M] am having doubts about my relationship with my GF [25 F] after 4 years.", "post": "Hi,\n\nI have been in a relationship for 4 years now.\nMy GF and I moved in together 2 years ago, because she was living at home and her mother was abusive to the extent that she was crying everyday. \nShe could not afford a place on her own and probably cannot now. \n\nOver the past year, i have noticed that i have gone done in priority for her (behind job and friends) even though she claims otherwise.\n\nShe is very chaotic, so that the apartment looks terrible. I am not nit-picky about this, but when it gets to dirty dishes standig around for days it is obviously too much.\nShe basically cancels every appointment we have, when something else comes up and we have not been intimate for months probably.\n\nI have talked to her about this before and was actually about to quit, but she convinced me it would get better with tears in her eyes. Obviously, it does not.\n\nEven though I am afraid I might end up alone, I feel like it is time to end this.\nHowever, I dont want her to have to go home to her mother again. I dont know how to proceed. Should she be able to stay for a while? Should I maybe wait with all this?\n\nAm I maybe wrong with all of this?\n\nI feel like I am too nice, but I am always trying my best for everyone.", "summary": "Need to end my 4 year relationship. We are living together. I got her out of her \"broken home\" and I am hesitant to send her back. Any advice or even encouraging words would help me a lot."} {"id": "t3_3kb0pk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriends [20F] mom won't let me visit her until I [20M] fix situation with parents", "post": "Me and my girlfriend of 3 years are 5 hours away, and I plan on visiting her by plane in November, but now I am stuck in a rock and a hard place. At first I was going to visit, but ever since her mom found out me and parents aren't getting along because of personal reasons, she's forbidding me from seeing her until I get this fixed with my parents.\n\nTo sum up quickly, ever since I told my parents I am visiting my girlfriend 2 month ago, when they said no, I got really upset for the first time and tried saying my feelings why I need to go without screaming, yelling, I did it in the adult way, then they got super super mad and in the end they lost their temper and did hurtful things physically and emotionally. (This is just the condensed story) Now for months, me and my parents do not get well along anymore , they don't want anything to do with me, and no matter how many times I say sorry to them they don't care. They said to just do my own thing, their tired of me. It seems like I'm just beating a dead horse with my parents. \n\nThe reason why my girlfriends mom doesn't want me to go is because she said my parents will be even more angry that I just went, but really my parents even said \"go if you want to, you're free to go.\" My parent's seem to not care anymore.\n\nI don't know how to go about talking to her mom and my girlfriend. I was thinking of lying, but then I feel like karma will hit me, and make things worse, because I'd be lying to my girlfriend and her mom, but yet my parents or my girlfriends mom haven't talked to each other except once for like 2 minutes and they don't keep in any contact. I don't know what I should do, because personally talking to them at this point is no use, their done with me. How should I talk to her mom without making a huge lie? I'm fine with white lies.", "summary": "Girlfriends mom is forbidding me from visiting her until I fix situation with parents, but no matter how many times I say sorry to them, they don't care anymore. It's like beating a dead horse."} {"id": "t3_5592ti", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27m] think my girlfriend [27f] has a drinking problem. I'm not sure what to do.", "post": "I've been with my girlfriend a little over 2.5 years, and lately over the past few months her drinking has gotten worse. She used to be a social drinker, but as of late she's drinking alone most nights, sometimes to point of getting pretty drunk.\n\nShe definitely drinks more when stressed/depressed, and once she starts seems to have a hard time stopping. She'll pick arguments with me when drunk, or go on long depressive rants about things. It hasn't happened often, but she even wet the bed before.\n\nI don't know what to do. When I talk to her about it she says she'll try to slow down the drinking alone, and that she worries she might have a problem too sometimes, but then eventually will wind up resenting me and thinking I'm nagging her. \n\nI really don't want to break up, I suggested counseling for her depression, to which she said she's open to (but never follows through on). What can I do? I feel like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.", "summary": "girlfriend of 2.5 years has started drinking more heavily as of late. Think she might have a problem and she gets upset when I say something."} {"id": "t3_epal1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "OK, so how do I make my Porn history untraceable? And I mean seriously untraceable!", "post": "Basically for christmas I'm getting a load of new parts for my PC (graphics card, processor, motherboard etc) all co-ordinated by my dad. We always put our own PC's together and while I am a dunce with programming/software I certainly know my way around the interior of a PC hardware wise. It's kinda fun to put a new set of gear together with my Dad and is one of the nerdy bonding rituals we have.\n\nhere is the problem, I'm probably one of the few people of my generation (I'm 24) who's parents are FAR BETTER than them with computers. Not because I'm a technophobe...oh no. But My dad has a masters in the subject and also teaches web and multimedia design at our local university.\n\nSo yes, when bringing my PC home for christmas to go onto the \"surgery table\" I'm sure you understand that I'm at extreme risk. Especially as we're thinking of doing a good old OS re-install to clean out all the junk. I just don't know I won't be able to leave my PC open to access without being anxious.", "summary": "Bringing PC to parents for a major upgrade. Dad fucking awesome at finding anything he wants on a computer after its deletion. Need to know how to erase porn history"} {"id": "t3_2dvw76", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [31 M] just got broken up with my [29 F] girlfriend of 2.5 years, trying to stay positive.", "post": "All I want to do is run away, jump on my bike and ride all night. We moved from Florida to Brooklyn maybe a year and some change ago. She was the only person that I even entertained the idea of having kids. The past six months our relationship have been rocky, however we would talk, and I tried so hard to make it work. Ultimately it came down to her being unhappy for such a long time, which kills me knowing that she wasn't happy for so long. I'm trying not to beat myself up wondering what I could have done different, I know that won't help anything. I'm trying to stay positive about our breakup for both us our happiness. I know it'll never be the same, however I know that we both mean so much to each other we'll never really loose each other's friendship. Currently we are still living together since we have a lease under our names and we don't have other options. Living together with the person you love and care so much for while trying to get over our breakup is going to be the most difficult to endure. I just have to stay positive, for our sake. It has helped writing here this morning.", "summary": "We moved too Brooklyn, we broke up last night after finding out she was unhappy for so long, and I have to move on for both of our happiness while living together."} {"id": "t3_1bvppl", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "F/24, 5'5\", 190 lbs. - A few years ago, I lost 90 pounds. I got off track but I'm back now. I need a little encouragement...", "post": "While I was in college, I lost a lot of weight. I went from 243 lbs to 150 lbs in about 3 years. Then I got married, got comfy, and am I back up to about 190 lbs now. I was looking at some old pictures and I am really proud of what I did. Since I have been successful before, I know I can do it again. But as all of you know, it's hard. \n\nBefore, I was religiously doing Weight Watchers and doing mild exercise. I would get a video series or hire a personal trainer for a month or so. I have never really been an exerciser. Weight Watchers got too expensive and I stopped losing when they changed their program. Now, I am doing MyFitnessPal (1200 cal/day) and C25K (3x/week for 30 minutes). I have lost about 10 pounds since January but I am struggling to stay motivated. \n\nIn college, I lost weight with my best friend and I had a great support system. Now, my husband and I live all alone in CA and there is literally no one here to help. I am self motivated, generally, but food is my weakness and my addiction and it is very hard to battle alone. \n\n[Summer 2007 to Summer 2010 Album] (\n\nLooking at these pictures motivates me in two ways - I NEVER want to be that fat girl again and I LOVED how I felt at my college graduation. I have never seen a number in the 140's so that is my current goal and I know I will get there. I think just need some encouragement for today. \n\n[Here is me now] (", "summary": "I lost 90 lbs in college and got off track. I am back now, but this is hard! These pictures are motivating me to never go back and remember how good healthy feels."} {"id": "t3_2clr76", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "How to ask for a raise?", "post": "If this isn't the right place for this, I apologize.\n\nHere's the thing. I've been with the same company for 2.5 years. I was hired in at $28k/year, and shortly after hiring (within about 3 months) I was given a raise to $30k/year. That was over 2 years ago, and I'm still sitting at the same pay rate.\n\nI'm a graphic / web designer in the Chicagoland area with almost 10 years of experience. According to Glassdoor, the median salary is in the 40-45k range.\n\nAbout a year ago, I broached the subject with my GM of a raise. I got a mostly run-around answer about why they couldn't give me one at the time, which leads into this situation. Turns out that they couldn't because the company was up for sale. Well, the sale went final last week. Today I get new paperwork to fill out for the new owners, and I noticed that my salary was still the same. They also noted in said paperwork that compensation will be subject to yearly review. \n\nSo the question is: Do I wait ANOTHER year hoping that I will be compensated, or do I talk to the new ownership about it now, before I even sign an employment agreement? \n\nI'll be meeting with the president of the new company shortly to discuss what my duties will be going forward. I know for a fact that I will be saddled with more responsibilities doing graphics not only for this location, but for other locations (nationwide) within the company. But I'm hoping to get more specifics this afternoon.\n\nAny advice is helpful! Thanks!", "summary": "Haven't had a raise in two years. New owners just took over this week. Do I ask for a raise?"} {"id": "t3_3qa7pw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My partner [27M] wants to take 'a break' from me [23F], but we live together. How do I deal with this?", "post": "We've had a multitude of problems ever since my daughter [3mo/old] was born, mainly my partner acting out and being inconsiderate/disrespectful. He admits that he finds family life overwhelming, which is upsetting as he was the one who wanted all of this initially and pushed for it all. \n\nNow we've been together for two years, we live together, and he's telling me he wants us to go on a 'break'. I don't have anywhere to go. My parents can't take me and my daughter in right now and the rest of my family live too far away to consider. Am I supposed to avoid him in our home? Make sure I'm out of the house when he comes back from work? Not talk to him when we're there together? \n\nI tried asking him if what he means by 'break' is break up. He says he doesn't know and refuses to commit to any kind of decision... I'm feeling pretty trapped in this situation right now and I don't have the money to hole up in a hotel with a small baby. We have a 3 bedroom house so we're currently sleeping apart.", "summary": "My partner wants us to be 'on a break' but other than the obvious not kissing/sleeping in the same bed I don't know how to manage the situation. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1q3r1o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[29 M] with [29 F] ex-gf, co-worker, says she no longer has my things -- what to do (or write it off)?", "post": "EDIT: Fairly sure I'm just going to visit her office in peace and ask what happened to my things. And smile and walk away at whatever the answer is.\n\nHad a relationship for several months with a girl living with her 5-year boyfriend. \n\nWe were very close friends before and were (and still do) work for the same, large company (little chance of running into each other beyond elevators). After taking a break, I sent her a letter ending things, as the situation became very unstable and intolerable (as she wanted to have both me and the other boyfriend, it seemed). I received a vitriolic response, and she said she planned to leave some of my things in my office. \n\nI was working in another office at the time, and assumed my things would be waiting for me when I returned a couple months later. They were not. I sent her a text asking for them, no response. A couple weeks later, I sent another text, she says she does not have them (meaning she either threw them out or destroyed them, or she's lying and keeping them). It's my favorite sports jersey and a couple of nice watches, probably ~$1k total. \n\nI have no ill-will towards her, but I think I am owed my belongings or at least an explanation of what she did with them (and perhaps the ~$1k). But perhaps it's just not worth it....\n\nDo I just write it off? If not, how do I go about approaching this?", "summary": "Ex (who I work with, but in large company) says she no longer has some of my favorite things (worth ~$1k). Write it off? If not, how to approach this?"} {"id": "t3_1y46vb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[25 M] am having a hard time reading a lady[23 F]", "post": "There is a lady I like, but as the title states, I am having some trouble reading her. She recently got out of a long term relationship, and while I don't want to press her into anything, I do feel like we're getting close to one another. I am just no good at figuring a lady out.\n\nLast time we hung out just the two of us, it ended up being very date like. We went out for ice cream, I put my arm around her when we walked, we got some food and played games at a different place, and as we walked back to my car she put her arms around me for a while as it was pretty cold. We talked the whole time, and some of it was about the future and where we see ourselves going. Like I said though, she just got out of a relationship, so I wasn't making any kinds of moves. I admit that I do have a hard time reading these kinds of things in general, but part of me wanted to make some kind of move, I just wasn't sure and didn't want to overstep any bounds.\n\nAnyways, the reason why I say I am having a hard time reading her is because it is always me suggesting we do something together. Almost(95%) all our text conversations are I initiated by myself as well. I don't want to be some guy that always chases after her. I also don't mind it if we end up being only friends or being only friends for a while before she works things out for herself, but I find it a little disheartening when we have great times together, but she never seeks it out.\n\nPart of me thinks I'm just being stupid, and I should just let things happen as they happen. I think the same part is seeking out confirmation that this is indeed the case. I also don't normally seek out a person's attention like this, so it is a pretty strange sensation for me. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "A lady and I have a great time when we do hang out, but it's always me asking her to hang out and it feels very one sided. Does she actually like me?"} {"id": "t3_y7z44", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Advice needed on daily job duty requirements + salary renegotiation", "post": "Hello,\n\n I've recently been hired at a small company as their \"Marketing guy\" meaning I will be updating their website, implementing their social media marketing, and creating brochures. \n\n*Now fast forward to the interview*\n\nThe boss notices my history and experience working in the field of IT. He informs me that they also need someone at the company to support the few desktops and servers that they have.\n\nThe starting pay for the Marketing position is $15/hr. Now that I passed my probationary period and they offered me the fulltime position, is it reasonable to ask to renegotiate my salary since they added Desktop and Server Support to my daily job duties? And if so, how can I come about doing that respectfully?", "summary": "Job hired me to do X & Y for 15 an hr, they also tacked on Z without adding more compensation. Wondering if I can renegotiate after my 90 day probationary period."} {"id": "t3_1nc19s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20M] girlfriend [19F] of just over a year cheated on me. Feeling lost.", "post": "This may be a bit of an odd one - I'll explain.\n\nSo I was friends with this girl for maybe four years. After we left school, we started going out. About four months in, she kissed another guy while drunk. She broke up with me rather than tell me, but about a month later it all came out, then a few weeks later we got back together.\n\nEverything was fine until June. I'm at university, she was on a gap year. About six weeks into her trip to Peru she slept with another guy. I found out maybe a week later, and confronted her about it. She didn't seem to have any regrets. We broke up immediately. I was devastated, hurt, and my self-confidence completely shaken.\n\nI've been very good - absolutely no contact all summer, keeping busy. We were supposed to meet and talk it over in person when she got back (the breakup unfortunately had to happen over Skype as I couldn't bear to wait), but she blamed me for \"dragging her name through the mud\" (we have a lot of mutual friends). I haven't spoken to her for about three months now, but still I think of her and what happened constantly. I live in a very large city, and she has now moved here. Everywhere I go, I'm looking for her - I can't help myself. The lack of closure hasn't helped.\n\nI guess I'm not looking for advice on the relationship itself, per se - it's quite definitely over. I just want to know if anyone has any advice on how to get her out of my head, and stop feeling ill every time I see a girl with a passing resemblance to her. Any advice on what to do when I eventually run into her would be helpful too - it's somewhat inevitable as we share so many friends, and come from a small town.\n\nThanks, all.", "summary": "Girlfriend cheated on me, frustrated at myself for not really feeling much better after three months when she's long since moved on."} {"id": "t3_3cmr8o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 F] with my[? M] passive-aggressive roommate. How do I deal with his unnecessary comments?", "post": "5 roommates, one house. Every roommate in our house gets along great except for one of the roommates, Brian, who no one else really cares for. We just moved in together 1 month ago. \n\nBrian is a bit older than everyone and tries to act like everyone's dad basically. Whatever he says goes. He also says a bunch of passive aggressive things to one roommate in particular like \"wow, your clothes have been in the dryer a long time, huh?\" Or \"someone left some dishes in the sink... I guess I'll do them\". He uses the dryer just as long as everyone else and also leaves dishes in the sink. He's a hypocrite and gets bitchy over things that really don't matter. \n\nSo, how do I deal with this? If I approach him about it I'm afraid it will start a fight or make things awkward. All of my roommates feel the same way about him but won't say anything to him because they don't want living in the same house to be awkward.", "summary": "Roomate is bitchy and passive-agressive. Complains about certain things that he is also guilty of doing. How do I deal with this?"} {"id": "t3_12eg93", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by breaking a TV and an Xbox", "post": "This actually happened a couple months ago, but I was just reminded of it.\n\nMe and my dad like to wrestle around frequently, and we tend to get a bit rough (He's a 19-year Marine and I'm a hopeful Marine) and pretty into it. Well this particular time I decided to attack him while in my little brothers' room, despite the limited room in there. \n\nWell after a few minutes we ended up next to the dresser with their 28-inch TV and the white Xbox 360 on it, both at about 6 feet from the ground.\n\nWe didn't really notice and continued to wrestle, when we suddenly hit the dresser and the TV and xbox both fell off and hit the ground. The TV was busted, huge cracks all along the screen on the inside, and the Xbox landed and somehow the disc tray ended up across the room.\n\nTo make it worse, my 7 and 5-year old brothers came in and saw their broken stuff and started bawling while me and my dad just kinda laughed at the situation. Mom didn't find us so funny.", "summary": "Wrestling with dad, knocked TV and Xbox off 6-foot dresser, little brothers hated us for a couple days."} {"id": "t3_3wvkxm", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Odd-payment request?", "post": "I'm unsure if this would be the correct subreddit, as it didn't seem to fit in elsewhere, maybe /r/askreddit or legal? If not, here goes. \n\nA little background, I'm in the military and looking to buy some car parts. I saw on the Perrin Performance website that they have a \"Military and first responder discount\" [reddit!] . To be approved for this, you need to email or call the representative listed with a few requirements and also list the parts you wish to purchase. \n\nAfter sending all of this I received an email this afternoon statin all of the (newly) priced items at about 10-15% discount (awesome!). The email also includes the following text, which I found incredibly off.\n\n> If you'd like to complete an order, feel free to call or email me with your credit card number, expiration date, and 3 digit code OR send a paypal payment to sales@perrinperformance.com, just put it to my attention. \n\nI shot the representative an email back asking if he could somehow give me a discount code equalling the amount of the discount I was to receive noted in his email, as it didn't feel right to do either of the options listed. I am also going to call tomorrow to see if he could answer some other questions I may have. \n\nI can't wrap my head around it being a scam, as it is from a reputable company, it just seems odd that the initial payment options listed were what he mentioned. \n\nAny help or suggestions would be great, or maybe someone has used their discounts before?", "summary": "want to buy car parts, inquired about military discount, received email back with discounted prices but asked to pay by email/paypal."} {"id": "t3_3wdk81", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by going to the loo on a train", "post": "About 10 minutes from my home station I decide to nip to the loo because there wouldn't be another chance for a while when I got off. I walk down to the next carriage that has a loo and its one of the big ones with a curved sliding door that is also large enough for wheelchair users (this is the UK by the way).\nAs I approach there's an elderly man stood opposite the sliding door. I look at him but he doesn't seem to be waiting or pays any attention to me. I look at the display next to the door which shows the toilet is vacant. So I press the door button which opens the electronic sliding door. Bear in mind I didn't exactly do this in a rush, but nor was I walking down the carriage exclaiming \"hey strangers, I'm off to the loo now!\"\nThe man shouts at me saying what am I doing and there's someone in there!\nConfused and indignant at being shouted at for my reasonable course of action I shout back \"then why isn't it locked?!\"\nBy now I've already kind of pirouetted round the corner in embarrassment so I can't see the occupant of the loo. And the man stares at me and says in a tone that clearly indicates I'm an idiot \"because she has a mental disability\"\n\nHow I was meant to know all that ahead of time I'm not sure! Walked back to my seat thinking about why he didn't guard the door a bit better, or if she has some kind of issue and he's presumably her carer - why he wasn't in there with her.", "summary": "didn't use my psychic powers to see the mentally disabled lady in the loo. Opened the door for her carer and the rest of the carriage to get a look at her and me being told off"} {"id": "t3_329ywj", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Going on a week long business trip with a co-worker. Mutually dont like eachother. What do?", "post": "So redditors, Im going on a week long business trip starting tomorrow with a co-worker who I have had problems with in the past, and even had to speak to HR About it. Now I can almost guarantee the reason they sent us TWO was because of this...Im not really complaining because it involved a pay increase. We have to share a hotel room and he's about 20 years older then me. I am 24, what can we do outside of work that will make it least awkward as possible? I am a gamer, and ill be brining my laptop but I know if i do something he doesnt like he will report it to our manager and general rep. Like, when it comes to sleeping if im up on my laptop \"keeping him awake\" or some shit.....Anybody been on a trip like this before? how can i stay sane but still be respectful of his space as well. sorry for the rant. it's been bugging me for a while..", "summary": "business trip with annoying as fuck co-worker, what do to make it less awkward? Were only in our workshop 8-5 and the rest of the time is free time. Im driving."} {"id": "t3_34q26n", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "[m/20] ~40lbs lost in 4 months and losing motivation.", "post": "Hey there people of LoseIt. Like all of you I've been fighting to lose weight and it feels like I'm succeeding. \n \nI started my journey in January this year. I had already been struggling with my weight for a long time but in January I had enough. Back then I weighed in at 229lbs and I knew that it was getting out of hand. \n \n \nSome backstory: When I was younger I was a very sporty and energetic person, I used to play hockey and actually enjoyed exercise. Then my asthma broke out and I had to quit hockey due to not really being able to keep up with the rest of the team. After this a serious of pretty serious medical conditions surfaced and I found it harder and harder to keep my weight in check. Several years passed where I didn't really exercise at all, I spent most of my time sitting still and in addition to this I started eating unhealthy. \n \n \nOkay, back to the present day. For four months now I've been eating healthy, tracking my calories with MFP as well as hitting the gym 3-4 times a week (slacking some weeks, you know how it goes). My current weight is 189lbs, it's the goal weight I set up to hit around the end of March. I get that an additional month isn't that much, but it's kind of messing with my mentality. I'd like to lose more, my new goal weight is 172lbs. Due to my studies being very time consuming I haven't had time to hit the gym on the hours that I want. This is leading to me not hitting the gym at all, slacking with my calorie tracking etc. It's a vicious cycle where my lack of motivation makes me lose less, when I know that I could lose more if I just found the motivation. I've also started eating more fast food again because I'm too tired to cook something healthy. Have anyone been in a similar situation, and how did you regain the motivation? I'm sorry for making such a long post to land on this very easy question, I guess I needed to vent a bit because I'm so frustrated over myself.", "summary": "lost 40 pounds in 4 months instead of 3 that was my goal. Due to this I'm slowly losing my motivation, not losing as much weight as I'd like. Any tips for regaining and maintaining motivation?"} {"id": "t3_4k4o8s", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Denied rental application due to being a graduate student engaged to a medical student what are my options?", "post": "Hello,\n\nFirst time poster here. Here are the basic parts of what I'm trying to figure out. My fiance and I live in an apartment now for about 450/month and we just got rejected from an apartment in another town for about 100 more per month. We both have savings and great credit and live now on student loans and contribute equally to rent and other expenses. Our current landlord even offered to write us a letter of recommendation as we have never missed a payment.\nThe apartment in question didn't even seem to understand what we were talking about when we told her about our allotment for the year being about 2x how much they were even charging for rent. We can be allotted about 600 each for housing and we would only need less than 300. \nBetween the two of us we could pay rent just off of savings for the next year and a half, but now they won't talk to us. \n\nI know what they are doing isn't illegal (at least I don't think it is,) but is there a way that I can show them our student loan packages as income so that they will understand that we can very much so afford the place? We are both very interested in the location because it was so cheap and we are careful of our finances, and the next option next to that apartment is about 690/month which we don't really want to pay if we don't have to.\n\nHonestly if I were a landlord I would almost prefer student loans from a med student and grad student because it's basically a guarantee of having rent money with little to no volatility. I guess I'm just confused about why the landlord would not accept us or even understand the concept of loan package housing.", "summary": "We are students that can afford to move into a cheap apartment, but are being denied because they do not consider student loans to be income. Is there a way to present student loans as income or possibly go another route to bypass this?"} {"id": "t3_sa3n0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "US consumer law question: is my British arse getting screwed?", "post": "So I live in the UK and purchased a product from a US company. It arrived and is faulty, so I asked for them to replace the product. They send me an RMA and said that I am responsible for the cost of returning the product to them.\n\nWhat I need to know is, under US consumer law, should the seller be meeting my cost of returning the faulty item? - after all, I am only having to pay this postage cost because they screwed up.\n\nIn the UK, they would be responsible for (a) the cost of me sending the faulty item back to them and (b) sending me a replacement. I am, however, aware that consumer law is a little pro-the little guy in Europe compared to the US.", "summary": "Should a US seller pay for the cost of me sending a faulty product back to them or do I need to pay even though its their screw up?"} {"id": "t3_xj5cp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm writing a letter to my girlfriend's father to win his acceptance. What can I say?", "post": "I met the girl 3 years ago - her and I have been inseparable since. We are now both 20.\n\nLike any relationship too good to be true though, there was one huge issue - disapproval from her parents. \n\nI am asian; they are italian and deeply catholic. That almost explains the whole story! She's not old enough to move out, and instead stays at home with parents that did not let her step outside the house through the whole summer. Recently, things worsened to the point where her parents called me, threatening to kick her out if I continued to see her.\n\nNow, her and I are together in secret. I realize it can't be this way forever, so I figured writing a letter would be the best way to clear things up! Reddit, how do I go about this without infuriating them even more?", "summary": "I love a girl I can't be with until I win over her parents who despise me. What can be done?"} {"id": "t3_1mijgo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[21M] with my GF [21F] of 2 years, just broke up with her but she won't let go and it's killing me", "post": "Best friends before we got together and we have been together for 2 years. She used to like to flirt but never did anything about it, at one point a year ago she got too flirty and i almost called it quits then but she stopped and we hadn't had that problem since\n\nWhat has happened though is she got very clingy we had to see eachother every week while in school and almost every day on summer break. I became her problem solverer her rock, which seems fine, but its more like a parent role than an equal in the relationship. I know I did this to myself, i allowed it to get this far but its hard to say no to someone you care about.\n\nTwo nights ago i called it quits. I said i will always be here for you even if you hate me but we just can't be in this relationship anymore. We need to grow as people in ways that won't happen together(this was a first serious relationship for both of us). \n\nEver since then she's been sending me things about how people who love eachother work through their problems together and this isn't right she doesnt understand. Every text kills me and makes me regret this decision. I hate how this hurts and i hate that im making her hurt, it would be so easy to just jump back into the relationship but i dont know if its right", "summary": "Together for 2 years with my best friend turned girlfriend, broke it off because we need to grow as people. She doesnt want to end it, i dont know what to do"} {"id": "t3_syr85", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Today is my real-life cake day and I was blown away by what a friend did for me, what is your best (or worst) birthday experience?", "post": "I got woken with breakfast in bed (and it was my favourite breakfast), then taken out for coffee in a hidden away secret cafe in my favourite part of Sydney, escorted around the contemporary art Museum, taken for fish and chips on the harbour, cider in a secluded park on the waterfront, whisked onto a ferry to Manly, on the north shore of Sydney for Ben and Jerrys (I love the stuff and there are only two stores in Sydney) and then taken to a German restaurant to practice my German while eating amazing food. When I got home, the friend had spent weeks aging parchment and covering a box with old maps and quotes in French and German that each related to a conversation we had had in the past few weeks, and filled the box with books, stories and inspiration about all the places we have talked about traveling together.\n\nI've had some trouble in the past few years in seeing myself as worthwhile, or special, so it was just so incredible, and each of the things was kept a complete surprise until the last minute - so now, here I am on my birthday feeling like I am made of awesome, and I want to know - what was the best birthday you ever had?", "summary": "Surprise after surprise of things I have wanted to do for ages and then most thoughtful gift ever meant I had an amazing birthday - what's your best?"} {"id": "t3_1ovpbg", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I'm {23/F} living with my bf {23, M} and we've stopped having sex. Why?! Someone PLEASE HELP.", "post": "My bf and I have been together for 2.5 years. We were great friends before we started dating and met at University. \n\nI believe us to be soul mates, or at least kindred spirits of some kind. We have a great deal in common, we love each other dearly, and do practically everything together.\n\nNeedless to say that in the last month, or two, we've stopped having sex completely. Something is broken and I don't know how to fix it. We tried spicing up our sex life (rented a motel room and role played which was a lot of fun -- but then we went right back to not having sex), we've openly talked about our evolving tastes for certain dress styles or behaviors, and I've recently reduced my antidepressant medication to feel more horny.\n\nYet, nothing is working. I feel like sex is a chore and not as fun as it used to be. My bf wants it all the time and he tries to do everything to impress me -- but I don't find our sex to be that much fun anymore. It used to be the greatest thing ever and now I find it boring. He says that we're more like best friends than lovers. I feel terrible when he says these things -- I feel guilty, like something is wrong with me. Yet I also feel like we're breaking apart and I can't do anything to make it right. I love him more than anything and he loves me more than anything. \n\nMaybe I'm not physically attracted to him anymore? I mean, I preferred that he lose a bit of weight and workout, and even buy some new clothes to spruce up his appearance. But I still find him cute and even sexy when he's naked. \n\nSo why is this happening and how can I get back into a regular sexual cycle with him??? I do want to have sex with him, but right now I feel like I'm forcing it sometimes. Is it him? Is it me? Are we doomed to break up?", "summary": "My bf and I are not having sex anymore and we've tried EVERYTHING to get back into the swing of having sex regularly. I can't figure out why I don't feel compelled to have sex with him."} {"id": "t3_2hw2dz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] just want to talk to her [17F ]", "post": "We had been dating for just about a year, and last week she ended it. We are in different states for school and have been doing long distance for the past few months, and under the circumstances, I think we were doing well. She called me and told me to cancel the trip we had planned so I could finally see her and said she needed time to find herself and that, in the long run, there were things we would never agree on. \n\nI miss her so much. We used to hangout every day before we left for school and even then we were texting and talking constantly. I'm in a new state where I don't know anyone and my transcript got fucked up so I can't go to school until next fall so I've been working. Everybody at my work is older than me or has polar opposite interests than me so I just sit at home alone when I don't work. \n\nI was so close with her and now we don't talk at all. She even blocked me on instagram and deleted all of our pictures. I told her things I've never told anybody before. She was my best friend and now she's gone and I'm alone. \n\nI want to talk to her and tell her my feelings, but I want to respect her space as well. I don't want to become just another crazy ex of hers. With the one phone call, all communication stopped and I feel like if it's that easy for her to kick me out of her life, than what was our relationship to her? We were both so into each other and serious about a long term future that I can't help but feel that there's some other contributing factor for her to just leave. What should I do? How do I deal with this?", "summary": "Girlfriend left me unexpectedly and now I'm alone. How can I talk to her without being pushy or needy? Or do I just let it go? "} {"id": "t3_v4frg", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[24/M] May lose an amazing girl (20/F) due to rumors, need advice on how to handle this.", "post": "I have been seeing a girl, \"Riona\", off and on (and I don't mean frivolous, weekly breakups) for about 2 years now. We both have jealousy problems, yet we always make up and get back together. Lately, things have been really awesome, and I have been contemplating moving on to the next level with her. Then five days ago happened.\n\n You see, Riona is friends with all of my coworkers. Apparently a few of my coworkers told Riona that I had been hooking up with another girl, ehh lets say \"Mila\", because we had been at a party a few times together and would occasionally hang out after work. This partying and hanging out happened while Riona and I were on a \"break.\" I know, stupid move, but I wasn't really thinking. On one of these drunken nights Mila tried to kiss me, yet I brushed it off and thought nothing of it. Well, Mila decided to tell everybody at work that we had made out. Riona caught wind of this and now completely distrusts me, and I fear I may lose her over some rumors. I did not hook up with anybody, so I did not apologize for that, but I did apologize for hanging out with Mila and talking to her when I really had no business doing that while on a break. This didn't really seem to make her feel any better, and she is still convinced that I cheated on her. Please, reddit, what can I do? I do not want to lose this girl. We spent two wonderful years together and I can't stand for it to end like this.", "summary": "coworker lied about her and I making out, love of my life heard about it, distrusts me and I might lose her now. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1i5zk9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18/f] am afraid that going to a particular college with my boyfriend [18/m] will cause us to resent each other in the future.", "post": "Before I start, I want to say that I dont need advice on how rarely highschool relationships work out, people change, etc. I get that, and I've already decided I'm willing to risk it. Also, this question seems to be really hypothetical, but the reason I'm wondering is because some of the colleges we're applying to have binding early decision, and so what we decide now will have an impact in the future.\n\nMy boyfriend and I are planning to apply to various colleges together, and go to whichever one we both get into. There is no way to say this modestly, but both of us are very good students (top 10/800+ students, SATs above 2300, 5's on AP, etc). That being said, we will be applying to a bunch of top or middle-top tier schools, and I am confident that we can get into at least a third of them. However, I'm scared that one of us will get into one of the reallyyy good schools we're applying to, for example Yale, but the other wont.\n\nHowever, we are also both applying to Johns Hopkins, and i'm pretty sure we can both get into it. So, if this should be the case (one of us gets into Yale but both of us gets into JH), do you think the one with the better acceptance should give it up and go to JH?\n\nThis wouldn't be a HUGE drop, like from Harvard to a community college, but the two schools are definitely not on the same level. I already asked my bf about this, and he says he's prepared to give up the good college, but I'm afraid that he will come to resent it in the future - I know I would, at least sometimes when I look back on these years, because Yale has been my dream college since middle school. \n\nThis is a very specific example, but I just thought naming exact schools would make the issues easier to follow - The problem is the same with other schools we're applying to too.", "summary": "If either my bf or I get into a top college (ex. yale), should we give it up to join the other in a middle-tier college, or will it cause bad feelings in the future?"} {"id": "t3_1td7mc", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I need your advice for whether or not i should go for the homerun.", "post": "Thish girl and i was chatting (on facebook) and we got to the subject of fetishes. We told eachother what ours were and it was with a generally dirty tone.\n\nThen she told me to make a list of girls that are mutual friends of ours, and that i you sleep with and who i would want a relationship with. I made her a list of seven girls (including her) and said that relationship were the same people. \n\nShe then made her list of seven, in which i was in aswell.\n\nShould i go for this? waht is my next move?\n\nAlso, my friend tried his luck with her recently (while he was drunk) but she has said that she wasnt interested in him.", "summary": "this girl and i have both said that we want to sleep with eachother in a list, go or no go?"} {"id": "t3_42ql9v", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my (bestfriend) roomate [22 M] cheating/lying on his girlfriend", "post": "My roommate and his gf have been dating for 5 years. They have been actively cheating on each other for the last 2 years (4-5 different people each). They tell each other when they do it, even though it upsets my roommate every time he hears about it. Just this last year she has moved to a new college for Med School. Since she has been gone my roommate has begun talking to one of our group friends in a flirty way. They did everything together, including the extent that he would bring her star-bucks to her class when it was over. \n\nThis girl is over at our house all the time, whether to hang out with him, or just hanging out with all of us since she is a good friend to us all. \n\nMy roommate 1) won't break up with his current gf because he likes to have a fallback person that he knows everything about and is comfortable being around her family etc. 2) won't openly admit to acting romantically towards her even though it is obvious, and the girl openly talking to me in private about what he says/does for her. The girl is torn apart because she knows they can't date because my roommate won't break up with his gf. She doesn't know what to do because she is such good friends with all of us, and doesn't want to sacrifice our friendship because of this situation.\n\nI have approached my roommate about the situation, and to avoid conflict he brushes is off like its no big deal, and won't even consider the possibility of dumping his current gf. I'm afraid that my relationship with my best friend/roommate will be tainted because our morals don't match up, and I absolutely do not want that to happen.", "summary": "bestfriend/roommate won't break up with gf. New girl is causing distrust between us, and causing girl(good friend) to be upset."} {"id": "t3_ozkrn", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "need advice - parents are afraid to ask for a favor from my husband", "post": "Hi reddit, \ni made this throwaway to tell OP the other day how lucky his wife was that he let her keep the adopted cat she rescued, and did it with love\nAs i had mentioned, my husband sent my cats who we rescued as kittens from my parents yard, back to my parents. The already had three rescue cats and to ahve my two added made 5 - a LOT for two retirees. My sister and her boyfriend have agreed to take one of mine, who i LOVE but who is a little naughty ;), which i so very much appreciate i can't explain it. the other of mine has to be the most well behaved, sweet cat i have ever met. She is small and likes to cuddle, she doesn't eat much, doesn't make any trouble.\n\nMy parents are going away for 2 weeks and really need us to temporarily take her back. I have exhausted the argument and shown just how torn up i am every day missing my pets to my husband, but he won't budge.\nMy dad, (who drives all over NY and LI taking care of anything we need, buying us groceries bc manhattan is expensive, we still owe him THOUSANDS of dollars for our wedding and he is just a retired teacher, he does not have money) is afraid to talk to my husband about it because he \"would be too hurt, embarrassed and upset\" if my husband says no, as my mom put it.\n\ni feel terrible, and teary, and i want to help my parents and have my sweet kitty, at least one of them, back in my house. it's temporary even!\n\ni thought maybe you'd have some extra ideas for me. I know many people will say \"just be like look, we're doing this for my parents, end of story\" but i'm afraid that wont work.\n\nno, he's not allergic, we have no other pets etc.", "summary": "i love my husband but his stubborn attitude toward refusing to take our cat back from my parents for 2 wks while they're on vacation is tearing my family apart"} {"id": "t3_19alz6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Fellow college students and recent grads, what is your biggest fear after graduating from college? Recent grads, do you have any words of advice or regrets?", "post": "I am a second semester junior at a state school. I have above average grades but in todays economy, a bachelors degree doesn't seem like its going to get me anywhere. I study economics because I am good at it and it is interesting to me. I am also a pre-med student for the same reason. My plan after college is to go to medical school, and if that doesn't work, I still have a degree in economics. I could possibly go to graduate school. I know the two fields seem like they do not relate but one day I would like to open a clinic of my own, and a collegiate-level of understanding the economy seems ideal. No matter which way things play out, graduate work seems like a must.What are your plans after college? And if you have graduated, how have you plans unfolded?", "summary": "In school for economics and pre-med. Graduate work seems necessary for an above average salary these days. What are your plans? and/or How did they unfold if you have graduated?"} {"id": "t3_4wq36m", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "[Vent] \"You should have just eloped!\"", "post": "To preface, my parents are paying for the large majority of our wedding and have been pretty great throughout the whole planning process. From reading some of the stories on this sub, I fully realize how fortunate we are. But I need to vent :(\n\nWhen we got engaged, my parents offered to give us the cash they would have spent on a wedding for a down payment on a house if we eloped. They got married 51 years ago and it was your standard cake-and-punch in the synagogue basement affair (not that there is anything wrong with this!) We seriously considered their offer, but elected to have a larger wedding because we wanted as many of our friends and family there as possible. In particular, my family is very small and spread out, and we only really see each other at funerals. Also, I'll admit that several of our friends have had big, traditional weddings in the last few years, and frankly we wanted the whole \"big day\" experience ourselves (this might sound selfish or materialistic, but it's the truth.)\n\nI can tell my parents think that this was the \"wrong\" decision, and to their credit they have done as best they can to keep this opinion to themselves. But whenever my mom and I are talking and I make some innocuous comment about the how much there is to do with the wedding, she can't resist throwing in some barb about how we should have eloped. I'm not even asking for her help, just remarking about tasks I need to complete! \n\nEvery time she makes one of these comments, I'm left speechless, because what do I say? They're offering a ton of financial and emotional support. But it leaves me feeling stupid for making the decision we made, especially because we really COULD use that money for a down payment. We're in a tight financial situation now, but I will be finishing my MBA in a year and we'll be moving to a less expensive city. To clarify, I'm incredibly excited about our day and only feel this \"regret\" after my mom makes one of these comments.\n\nIf you got through all of this, thanks for reading. <3", "summary": "Mom's comments making me feel stupid for wanting a big wedding rather than eloping and using their money as a down payment."} {"id": "t3_4qlpih", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [35M] found out about SIL [39F] affair. Do I tell?", "post": "I recently had to use my wife's phone after having mine stolen. I was sending a text to my sister in law about some logistics about a family gathering. At this stage I knew she and her husband were heading for a divorce, it has been a long time coming and he wasn't coming to the event.\n\nI scrolled up through the chats between her and my wife and saw something not right. I mailed the convo to my mail address to read later. \n\nTurns out SIL has been having an affair but got dumped. I was shocked and surprised. Knowing they were talking about divorce I thought I would just shut up and let her marriage run its natural course.\n\nBut it didn't. She and BIL made up. They are going for counseling and working stuff out. BIL even came to the family event.\n\nI had to site there with BIL knowing his wife was cheating on him. It really hurt me and I feel like such a fake. He has anger issues and can be a real asshole at times, but I can see he is trying to sort things out.\n\nI honestly don't know what to do. If they divorced it would serve no purpose in telling, but now they are sticking it out! I feel it is wrong to hide it, but by telling I will surely blow up their marriage and BIL seems legit in trying to fix things. \n\nMy wife does not know that I know. What is the right thing to do? I cannot visit and interact with SIL and her husband knowing this.", "summary": "I found out my SIL was having an affair but didn't feel it neccesary to say anything because she was going to divorce and now she is not getting divorced anymore and I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_3zalrx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [26 F] father [53 M] is cheating on my step-mother [41 F]?", "post": "Never have I thought that I'd have to post to /r/relationships for advice. My life has always been really simple, but now I'm completely confused and lost. Despite that, I'll try to make this as short as I can.\n\nMy parents got divorced when I was 2. I lived with my mother until 13 and then moved to another country (for better living conditions) to my father and step-mother. They have two boys. As everyone else my life had its ups and downs but I always managed to go on.\n\nWell, on the first day of new year my step-mother showed me some messages which proved that my father was cheating on her. I mean it wouldn't really concern me, because I'm now (financially) independent, but she asked me for my support. My father is obviously in the wrong here, so whatever my step-mother chooses to do, I'll support her as long as it's a good choice for my step-brothers. They are the only ones I'm worried about right now, because both my father and step-mothers are adult, so they can do whatever they want.\n\nAnother important thing is my step-mother said indirectly that she didn't really care about this cheating, but she's only worried that that other woman was using my father to get money.\n\nWhat do I do? I wish I didn't have to get involved, but now I don't think I can just do nothing. I don't have the experience to deal with this kind of problems... Please help me.", "summary": "My father is cheating on my step-mother. She is asking me for support in resolving the issue. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1ayed8", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting to secure my car hood down", "post": "After a month of saving up to pay a super speeder ticket, I was finally out of debt (with *only* 6 points on my record... sigh) and had some money to spend. First thing that was on my list was an oil change and radiator hose fix for my 92 Honda Prelude. \n\nSo I arrive to the auto parts store and explain to the guy what I need. He's dumbfounded by the way that I create my sentences and so I go to show him. Pop my hood, point to where the bad hose is and all is looking good for my baby. Like all cars, the hood had to be held up by a steel rod. My car came with the rod unbolted from the engine bay and just sits in the trunk instead. My fuck up was laying it on top of the latch that secures the hood down just so that I could go in and pay for the oil and hose quickly instead of fully closing it first. You'd expect someone to remember shit like that but nope, not me.\n\nI come out of the store feeling like a million bucks because my car was going to get some loving care. Right away I pull off onto the road. About a mile down, just like a scene from GTA: San Andreas, the hood of my car peels right the fuck off and lands on the side walk. There were 2 guys walking by and they were laughing their asses off at my misfortune. \n\nOf course I do a speedy u-turn and go back to pick up what was rightfully mine. The hinges on the side were torn to hell but I still attempted to set the hood on top hoping there was some way to hold it down. And there was! The latch on the front still locked the hood down like it should have in the first place. When I get home, my mom is freaking out asking me what happened. Ashamed of the my own fuck up, I tell her that I ran into a deer. \n\nGood news is my car got its oil changed and hose fixed.", "summary": "Went to store for oil change and hose fix, forgot to properly lock down my hood, it peels off on the road."} {"id": "t3_18yf54", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "The progress pics on this board helped me, so I want to help someone else finally. 115lbs gone!", "post": "This is what over 100 lbs lost looks like in the face: \n\nI'm still not completely comfortable taking full body shots of myself. That might be modesty getting in the way rather than shame. \n\n**Top weight: 315lbs**\n\nI'm going to school for Biomedical Engineering so this has been on and off with how serious I took eating well and/or exercising. I only broke my change in diet during Christmas time (thanks, Ma) but going to the gym was highly variable based on my workload. \n\n**But throughout it all seeing everybody on this board change their bodies and lives made me very happy and hopeful!**\n\nBackground: fat since childhood, took weight lifting in highschool so I had some knowledge--still fat though.\n\nAges 18-19\n\n* Went to college, girl broke heart because of the weight (at least she was honest?)\n* Walked to the gym almost every night and forced myself to do a lot of cardio fueled by spite.\n* Cut soda, frequent sweets, bullshit snacks (chips and the like) \n* So much water.\n\nAges 19-20\n\n* Realized I shouldn't burn myself out. Gymed 3x a week doing 20 min cardio and 40 min weight lifting.\n* Cut out red meat except for special dinners out\n\nAges 20-21\n\n* Bad at dedication, good at eating pizza\n* \"too busy\" for gym\n* luckily did not gain much\n\nNOW\n\n* Cut out cereal grains and legumes. (non strict paleo)\n* Love Paleo. Love /r/Paleo\n* Things I eat: chicken, broccoli, peppers, mushrooms, spinach, carrots, sweet potatos, fish, steak, cheese, coffee, water, scotch, salsa, avocado, and anything else green I've forgotten.\n* Cardio when I feel like a run, if I'm going to exercise I stick to the \"lift heavy things to failure\" mantra\n* Working and finishing up undergrad", "summary": "It can take a long time or a short time, you can do it with whatever combination of diet and activity, but it will happen when you make that decision to change."} {"id": "t3_28exev", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How should I [21 F] cope with divided loyalties with my divorced parents [50s M&F]?", "post": "My parents divorced two years ago. Ever since then, since I still live at \"home\" during the summer and breaks, I've had too choose whom to live with. And since they have had conflicts, I've had to pick who to sympathize/have contact with and who to cut off.\n\nI won't go into too much detail here about their specific conflict, because it's really not relevant, but I can understand both sides.\n\nUp until now, I've sided with my father, mostly because he's more emotionally stable, and because he is paying for my college tuition. I love both my parents dearly, and I want to see them both, but due to the current family politics, I cannot do so without enraging my father.\n\nSo, I've been lying to Dad and going off to visit my mother before and after my summer job. I hate lying, but I cannot just abandon my relationship with my mother. So this conflict has forced me to do something against my morals and values, which bothers me a lot.\n\nWell, he found out about it when he saw my car in her driveway. (He claims he was in the neighborhood to see a friend, but I don't believe that because his friend's house is several blocks out of the way from where my mom lives..).\n\nNaturally, this lead to a huge fight between us this afternoon.\n\nI feel very divided in my loyalties. I want to have a proper relationship with my mother and my father, but this conflict is just tearing me apart inside. Very uncomfortable and difficult. I can't just leave my father and go live with Mom either, because then Dad'll just get very angry stop paying for college/disown me in general, and as awful as he can be I still want to have a good relationship with him.\n\nMy family is very Machiavellian at times, you could almost make a Game of Thrones episode out of it.\n\nWhat do I do?", "summary": "Family politics forcing me to lie to my father or abandon my mother. Very ugly, very distressing for me. What should I do? I still rely on Dad for college tuition so I can't just tell him to sod off..."} {"id": "t3_mj2s3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to end it right?", "post": "I dont even know if the title is possible.\n\nBackground:\n\nMe and my current girlfriend have been dating for over 9 months now and its been pretty rocky. She is a good person for the most part but doesnt always treat me with sanity if you get my drift. We are both 23. \n\nI do love her and I dont want to hurt her - although I know thats not possible. We've talked about being soul mates and the \"one\" and all that Jazz and I honestly a couple of months ago believed it. Lately I have pulled away because I dont know if I want to be with her anymore.\n\nLast night me and my brother went out (he is single) so I was wing manning for him and I accidently met an great girl and had a lot of fun with her. I am a good guy so I didnt do anything with her, but I really would like to see her again. \n\nEither way it made me realize I cant be with my current girlfriend as its getting far to serious (talks of moving in) and I dont want to be with her anymore.\n\nThats the simple part. I feel crappy and guilty about it as I know she loves me a lot. I've told this woman before I want to spend the rest of my life with her and now I dont? I know I cant possibly say it in a way to make it easy but is there anyway I can say it to make it easier.\n\nI dont mind coming off as a bad guy if it will make her better or stronger willed. For example... if say I said I cheated on her, she would hate me but it wouldnt be as depressed if say I just dont love her anymore... Im not going to say that for obvious reasons - but I just dont know how I am going to see that sadness consume somebody again :(", "summary": "Want to break up with long term girlfriend the easiest way possible - still love her but dont want to be with her if that makes any sense at all."} {"id": "t3_1k0k0u", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I'm lucky to be alive, but I feel like an ungrateful fuck", "post": "I have struggled with physical and mental health problems simultaneously. I'm twenty years old now, and the physical health problems are about two years behind me; the mental problems, however, still linger. \nI had two tumors in my knee causing constant pain, which were removed (but then grew back) over the span of three surgeries. When I had the second tumor removed from my knee, the scar tissue healed over my joint, making me incapable of walking. This required an additional surgery and painful rehabilitation to allow full mobility. I also learned I have a genetic blood mutation, after a deep vein thrombosis (blood clot) formed in my arm. Needless to say, I feel lucky to be alive and have good health now. However, my depression will not disappear. \nSince my adolescence, I have had severe depression that I simply have not been able to kick. Medications, counseling, changing cities, changing majors, changing schools, falling in love, falling out of love, substance abuse, sober living, art, physical activity, etc...I've tried it all. I will feel better for awhile, but the depression *always comes back.* I feel like ungrateful for being so dissatisfied with a life that I've fought to keep. My family has spent countless hours and huge sums of money trying to keep me alive and healthy, but I can't seem to be happy with the life I live. I feel like I don't even know who I am, after all of the phases and new things I've tried to help myself. What do I do? Am I missing the key to happiness?", "summary": "I had two tumors and a blood clot before I turned 18. I'm 20 now, physically better but still depressed. Can't seem to find inner happiness or kick this depression."} {"id": "t3_4rtbno", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How do I [23/m] stop my gf [25/f] from having the same conflicts with me over and over again?", "post": "We have been together for three and a half years now, and I have gotten very good at judging whether a conflict is worth it or not. The factors are my mood, her mood, and the topic itself, of course. When she starts talking about something, I immediately know if we can have a productive discussion about it or just a childish fight over mutliple days. Don't get me wrong here - the childish fights are not just because of her conflict behaviour, but also because of mine, the only difference is that I can predict it.\nNow the problem is, she does not have that predicting ability, and she doesn't want to have because she just wants to talk about stuff when she thinks it's time for that. I have tried to stop her at many occasions, but I pretty much never succeeded, even though I explained everything I just mentioned here.\nI tried things like \"I don't think this is the right time to discuss this, can we please move it to some other time?\", \"I don't want to talk about this right now, if you can't drop it I will leave\", and \"we have completely discussed this topic multiple times, there is nothing new to add except more fighting, please leave me alone with it\".\nI don't know how to prevent us from having big unsolvable conflicts every couple of weeks, but I really want to, because the actual relationship between those times of conflict is actually great.", "summary": "My gf and I get into stupid unneccesary conflicts about all kinds of topics from time to time, I can predict them very well but I need help effectively preventing them."} {"id": "t3_1331ev", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "i (f 23) am wondering how to approach my SO (29/M) about the growing issues of our relationship.", "post": "my SO (lets call him John) and i have been together since February. i was kicked out of my parents house, and i ended up staying with him for a night, and then went to stay with my brother and his wife for the time being until i could find something better. during this time, his father was hospitalized and almost died. he then wen tolive with his mom, since he wasnt needed by his dad at that time (his dad needed help around the house due to health issues, and he didnt have another place to go, besides his moms) so we were in the same town for a little while, in which we then found another living arrangement with a couple friends of mine, renting a room out. we had a hard itme living htere, so when his father was better and moved home, we moved in with his dad to help out. i lived there for 3 months, and then things were going down hill from there. we broke up for about a week, and i moved back in with my parents. now we are still together, but it seems like he is very distant. i will admit i took some things for granted and i made mistakes, that i have apologized profusely over.\n\nwhen ever i try to bring up the issues in our relationship, we only end up arguing and fighting. he constantly says he needs time for himself, because he is a busy person, with just starting college, and taking care of his father, who is still disabled. (he takes his dad to his dr. appointments, the store, or anywhere he needs or wants to go). i try to get him to spend time with me, but he always says \"i need time for me, i dont ever have time for just myself.\", but then he turns around and makes plans with his brother to help him with something or other. \n\nin the beginning we were so happy, and never fought. what do i do and how do i approach him with our relationship issues, without arguing and fighting over it? i have written a \"letter\" that i want to read to him, but i dont know if it will help. (if you wish to read the letter, it will be the first comment on the thread)", "summary": "My boyfriend I have been going down hill with our relationship, and when we try to work out our issues, we just end up fighting. how do i approach this without angering or arguing with him?"} {"id": "t3_qxf5k", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is your best/worst craigslist experience?", "post": "One time I responded to a want ad and traded a cheap bass guitar and amp for a Massey Furgeson tractor. But when I got to the dudes house (he lived in a trailer on the back side of his ex brother-in-law's apple orchard. still a home nonetheless) at 9am he said he would only do the trade if I went and bought him two cases of Milwaukee's Best in addition to the bass and amp. Ten minutes later I came back with the beer and he immediately cracked one. He started getting loud and amped up and asked me if I wanted one. I said no but he got in my face and was like \"whats wrong got a problem with drinking in the morning! hahah just kidding just kidding. But seriously you want one.\" I agreed and good thing I stayed on his good side. He then went and grabbed his m16, I think from inside his house. Proceeds to tell me all of his Desert Storm stories while pounding beers and cleaning his gun. Then he makes me hold it. After two hours I realize I am not going anywhere for a while and just get into it. He was a sniper in the army so he could shoot anything. It was amazing. Targets were like 500 yards away. By noon the guy is shit faced and I load up the tractor and am out by one.", "summary": "Traded a bass guitar and practice amp for a tractor to a Desert Storm vet who practically held me hostage until we were friends."} {"id": "t3_2oinaj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] just kicked a girl [20F] I was hanging out with out of my house because she wouldn't get off her phone. Have you ever had this problem and how have you dealt with it?", "post": "This girl I've been seeing for a few weeks asked if she could come over to my house to hang out this evening and I accepted, but she ended up texting and Snapchatting her friends the whole time instead of conversing with and barely even acknowledging me.\n\nNeedless to say, after a couple of hours I told her I had to go to university to do some work (on a Saturday night at 10pm). Either she was very gullible or got the hint that I'd had enough so we both left my house and she went left to her bus stop and I headed right to mine. As soon as she was out of sight I went straight back home.\n\nThis isn't the first time I've had this problem and this time I didn't feel like sticking it out until the morning.\n\nI have no regrets because I found it undeniably rude and asked her many times about it and told her I wanted to talk to her instead of her just ignoring me.\n\nI'm just curious if this is a common problem and how other redditors have dealt with such situations!", "summary": "Girl asks me if she can come over. Won't stop texting/Snapchatting the whole time. I pretend to have to go to university, effectively getting her to leave."} {"id": "t3_124s2y", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Let's hear your best \"I got fired for this\" story.", "post": "I was an intern at a sportboat manufacturer for a semester last year. I was doing great and they offered me a full time position after my internship. One of the last bitch work chores I had to do before the holiday break was to make sure the CEO signed all the dealer Christmas cards. I put them all out in a room for her and sat in there while she signed all some-odd-thousand of them. She took about half a box full home with her because she wanted to write personal messages in them to owners she knew personally. She sealed them and brought them back for me and I was glad because she did part of my job for me. Turns out she forgot to sign them and when they went out unsigned it was apparently extremely unprofessional and when they needed someone to point the finger of blame at they pointed it at me for even allowing her to take them home with her and giving her a chance to do them distracted. Long story short she didn't cover for me because I was an intern and at the end of my internship my job offer suddenly \"did not have the funding by the board.\" So I went on my merry way to finish up my final semester of college.", "summary": "was an intern. CEO didn't sign Christmas cards and I mailed them out. Pinned the blame on me. I was no longer an intern"} {"id": "t3_18zf48", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I (16f) have just started talking to this guy (17) and I'm trying not to overthink things while still figuring out if he's interested", "post": "So we met last Sunday and we're planning on going longboarding this coming Sunday with a couple friends. We've been texting since then and we've exchanged probably like 250 messages back and forth. We talk a lot about longboarding but we also occasionally ask the other what they're up to and stuff like that. Any ideas on if he's interested or not?", "summary": "I've been talking to this guy my friend wants to set me up with for almost a week and want to know if he's interested in a relationship or just friendship"} {"id": "t3_t2o18", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "How can I become a consistent planner and a hard-worker?", "post": "I am a huge procrastinator and a half-ass-er (is that a word?). I procrastinate on just about anything that requires the most minuscule amount of work, and always try to find the easy way out of everything (as in, if a task requires a lot of effort, I'll either half-ass-it, take an easier, more crappier route to doing it, or just give up). \n\nThis has obviously negatively affected my life in a bunch of ways, and frankly, I'm tired of it. Reading or watching motivating things has temporary effects, and failing to achieve something I aimed for will cause me to panic and actually try hard for a while until I rationalize the failure in my head and find comfort in landing on an inferior plane.\n\nDo you guys know/use any methods in order to combat this problem? Sorry if this is a repost.", "summary": "Have always been a procrastinating, half-ass-er, now sick of it, want to know methods to become a productive, hard-working individual."} {"id": "t3_13sk3v", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21f] bf's [23m] mother has harassed me a few times, and I don't know how to deal with it.", "post": "I've been with my bf for almost 10 months now, and it's been great. No complaints besides typical relationship stuff. He was raised by a single mom. His mom has been through a lot, I'd rather not go into detail, but in any case he doesn't like talking about her. From the information he's given me, she's possibly depressed or has an anxiety disorder.\n\nRight when we started dating, I received a facebook message from her saying that I don't deserve her son, and I need to break up with him because he doesn't need a \"girl like me\". I've never talked or seen this woman in my life. I ignored the message, talked to the bf about it, and he apologized saying it wouldn't happen again, and not to think about it. About a month ago, my bf (who's on his mother's phone plan) got his phone shut off by his mother for literally no reason. She proceeded to message me again saying that he would not get his phone plan back until I break up with him. Again, my bf assured me that would not happen, and that he'd deal and figure it out. And again, apologized, didn't know what to say, etc. \n\nI'm incredibly hurt that his mom won't give me a chance. I've never had to deal with anything like this before. I've never responded to her, and I blocked her on facebook after that. I understand that his mom isn't completely normal mentally, it's just still difficult for me that I probably won't ever have a relationship with his mom, the most influential person of his life. I just would love advice from you guys about how to approach/deal with this. \n\nThis is a throwaway account because my bf is a redditor.", "summary": "bf's mom sends me messages to break up with my bf, i'm very hurt by her unwillingness to give me a chance and not sure how to deal with it"} {"id": "t3_4mbpy4", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "(south carolina) multiple garnishments, can't afford to keep going like this", "post": "About six months ago I received a writ of garnishment for student loan debt (~$7000) for 15% of my disposable income. Not too bad on its own, but soon after the first writ, I received a second one from a hospital bill I was never served papers for, the garnishment being for a whopping 35% of my disposable income. The student loans are in the process of being rehabilitated and i know there's no way to get around it other than repaying. The medical bills are only for about $3000, but I cannot live on $250 every two weeks. It's definitely worth noting that I didn't contest either writ, because I didn't know how to go about doing so. What are my options here? I cannot afford to hire a lawyer and I wouldn't know how to present this to be honest.", "summary": "is there any way to reduce garnishment from medical bills or stop garnishment with agreement to repay? Do I just need to call around or is there a website that I can look for someone to contact directly?"} {"id": "t3_11z9ft", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Parents (both 53) forgot my (F20) birthday, should I bring it up, or?", "post": "So my 20th birthday was October 12th. My parents (who I live with), have yet to acknowledge it. I don't mean that I didn't get a cake or present or whatever, I mean they didn't/haven't even said \"Happy Birthday, oh daughter of ours!\". \n\nAnd I don't really know what to do about it. They've both been really busy lately (my dad is going through a \"career transition\" and my mom is going back to college, my grandfather has just been diagnosed with cancer, etc) and I'm sure it just slipped their mind because they both have a lot on their plate. I don't want to guilt trip them or anything\n\nBut at the same time, it was my 20th birthday. I don't really want to make a big deal about it, but it was my birthday. I would like a hug or something or acknowledgement from the people that brought me into this world that I have, in fact, been in this world for two decades now. \n\nI just don't know what to do about it? I'm fine without the cake and presents and everything, and I feel like if I bring it up they're going to go overboard celebrating it to \"make up\" for it which will be awkward and weird for everyone, and I get that once you're 20 you're a \"grown up\" and birthdays aren't supposed to be a big deal anymore, I shouldn't be looking to my parents for validation of my existence, etc. \n\nSo basically what I'm getting at here is: is it okay that I'm a bit sad that my parents forgot my 20th birthday? What should I do about it?", "summary": "my parents have yet to mention/bring up my 20th birthday (which was October 12th) and I am wondering what I should do about it? Should I just pretend that it never happened, or..."} {"id": "t3_2e591q", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "hard to let go", "post": "My uncle passed away in November 2012 from cancer and losing anyone to cancer or anything that takes them away is hard but I'm having an extra hard time accepting his death and knowing that that part of my life and his, is over. \n\nMy uncle was a very funny, intelligent man who I always got along with but within the last three years of his life, we had a disagreement that we worked out but I just felt that it wasn't the same between us after, even though my Mom (his sister) helped to work out with him and I. My mom is the only person left from her family as her brother and parents have all passed on. Shortly after my Uncle passed away, I moved three hours away for a new job. I also list my dog of fourteen years one night when she became very sick and had to be put to sleep quickly so she wouldn't be in pain. When I moved away, I moved away from my parents who have become my best friends in my adult life and I also moved away from my boyfriend of then a year and a half, so we are now doing a long distance relationship. I am having a hard time accepting the deaths of my loved ones and I'm very much missing my parents and my boyfriend. I get to see my parents every couple of weeks and my boyfriend too but I am really missing them all tonight. I'm going to find a psychologist to talk to because I feel as though it is super hard to transition anyway and especially when there is a lot of loss to deal with as well.", "summary": "i miss my Uncle and I can't seem to let him go. I also miss my parents and my boyfriend. Very much."} {"id": "t3_rvtx1", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "So alone...", "post": "I think that I just need to vent. This is the basic description of our relationship...\n\nHe [19m] and I [19f] met during our first semester of college. We clicked right away, quickly became best friends, and began dating. We were inseparable, and I fell completely in love. Then...6 months into our relationship, he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend. In retrospect, I should have walked away then. But I could not let him go, especially because I felt so strongly about him... I was convinced he was the one. I forgave him, tried to learn to trust him again, but it was never the same. Fast forward to six months after he cheated on me. I begin to fall into depression during the first semester of our second year of college. He didn't know how to react, I became very clingy, he just continued to push me away. I still clung onto the hope that everything would get back to normal someday. Then, about a month ago, he broke it off. Obviously I was devastated. We continued to talk, however, and I begged him for a second chance. I needed to show him the girl he fell in love with, not the depressed, manic, suffocating monster I had become. He still gave me hope that we would get back together. Then...he ends it for good. Over facebook. He was one of my only friends here at my university. Now I am just alone, empty, forced to face the pain and suffering I experienced here every day....the girl he cheated on me with is in many of my classes. Everyday I see reminders of our relationship...we dated for nearly a year and a half. I forget how to cope. I forget how to be me...I am just an empty shell of everything that used to make me happy. My depression has only worsened, of course. I don't know where to go or who to turn to when the only person who brought me comfort is the person who caused me all this pain.", "summary": "My ex cheated on me. I forgave him. He broke up with me a year later. Now I have nothing and am drowning in depression and loneliness."} {"id": "t3_52kols", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My female friend that I've been seeing for 3 months (16F) is struggling with her depression and told me (17M) that she needed some time away from me.", "post": "I began talking to this girl in the beginning of July. We hit it off and about a month later, we revealed that we had feelings for each other. We went on a couple of dates, cuddled and made out. 2 weeks ago, we had a really good date so I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said she'd tell me next time we hung out because her last relationship didn't end well so she was scared of something happening to us.\n\nWe hung out again last night and things were going fine so I asked her about dating again. She said no because her depression has been pretty bad lately. Then this morning, she told me that she needed some time away from me. I understand that she is depressed and struggling to begin a relationship with me, but we've been talking for awhile and I'd like to date.\n\nShould I contact her first and what should I say? Should I just wait it out? Is this a temporary stop or should I just move on?", "summary": "Girkfriend's depression has been affecting her a lot lately, asks for some time away from me. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1t6uyr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I just realize I'm sexist towards women. I'm going to have a daughter very soon. What can I do to stop this train of thought before she is born?", "post": "I'm M(27). I recently have discovered I have a very narrow mind towards certain topics regarding women. Whenever I hear women complaining about their partners in a relationship, I can't help but always take the man's side. I slut-shame. I refer to women as \"bitches\", or \"sluts\", or whatever other derogatory word. I have a belief that women are biologically inferior to men and as such, it takes a tremendous amount of talent and intellect to be shown before I will respect them. I get turned off from TV shows or movies where there is a strong female lead trying to portray a role that would have been better suited for a man, i.e. being an over the top badass. I believe you get my point here, I'm sexist and not proud of it. I don't know why I am and I don't know how to stop thinking like this. I fear because of this attitude I have towards women, I will discriminate against my soon-to-be-daughter and will treat her differently than I would if I have a son. I fear that this type of behavior could very easily damage my relationship with her and I do not want that. What can I do to get out of this mindset?", "summary": "I am sexist towards women. I feel this mindset will ruin my relationship with my unborn daughter. How can I get over this mindset?"} {"id": "t3_1oyoj5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] am scared to fall in love again", "post": "My current boyfriend [24M] and I [22F] have been dating for almost 2 months now and I'm starting to get this familiar feeling in my stomach I felt about my last boyfriend [23M].\n\nI didn't want to admit it was love I was feeling when I was with my ex because I was scared since I had never felt that way. I eventually admitted that I loved him and everything was fine, but we did ultimately end up breaking up after 6 months. I was crushed and very depressed for a couple weeks about the whole situation. \n\nI'm starting to feel the same feelings I had when I was with my ex, and this is about the same time I started feeling them in my pervious relationship too. I'm scared of getting hurt again, it was awful. Both my current boyfriend and I are very immature when it comes to relationships, neither of us has reached past 6 months and he's never been in love. \n\nI'm fearful that I will start to allow myself to love him and he'll A) not return my feelings, B) Break up with me or C) All of the above because he's freaked out.", "summary": "I had my heart shattered after my first run in with love and now am too scared to allow myself to love my current boyfriend in fear I will be hurt."} {"id": "t3_o3swm", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, i am going to quit my job and want to know an epic way to do so. Any ideas?", "post": "Been working at Mcdonald's a few months now and honestly, it is the most horrible place to work and a few of my superiors are absolute arseholes. Any ideas to go out with a bang?", "summary": "Want to quit my job, managers are complete arseholes, get accused of theft regularly and keep getting abusive comments etc and no pay, want revenge."} {"id": "t3_1qn679", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24F) am trying to deal with partner (26M) leaving", "post": "I am not actually in a relationship but my friend and I are very close and enjoy a physical relationship. We are not dating because he leaves the state in less than a month but recently we have both admitted to the fact that if he was staying longer, we would be dating. Actually, we just went on our first official date. We talk almost every day for several hours and spend at least one night a week together and usually it's two or three. He's my best friend and someone I trust completely. We both agree that it's too soon for the word love to come up but I care about him so much and he's told me he cares about me a ton (I know he trusts me more than anyone else). I would love to have a future with him but neither of us is fond of long distance so... I guess I just want to know how to deal with him leaving and what people think of making long distance work; if it's possible or not. I don't want to lose the chance to be with him if I can help it...", "summary": "partner is leaving (moving) and I don't know how to deal with losing him or on the other hand convince him that we could make a long distance relationship work."} {"id": "t3_9yvnm", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Dear reddit: I am running out of Hard drive space... wwyd?", "post": "Ok, I have two 1tb USB enclosed external harddrives, (at the heart of each is a [WD SATA HDD] ) I currently have them setup with data and music on one, and TV shows and ripped movies on the other, well as expected, after only a year of use, the hard drive with all the video files on it, is at full capacity, I have already started to push some of the overflow files over to the first HDD, but I am running out of space there too. So, essentially, I will be buying more Harddrives, but I would eventually like a media center PC in the future... what would reddit do? I have 1 laptop that is hooked into the harddrives, and I stream media with Tversity to my Xbox and [2 **ancient, but good** Dell dimension 4600 desktop PC's] kicking around with SATA onboard, I also have an extra [PCI SATA card] for plans of some kind of NAS/Media box... but I am unsure about my plan for that now with the power consumption I have heard about the P4s to be running all the time...\n\nSo any suggestions?", "summary": "have 2 USB 1tb externals that are full, and looking for more alternatives for future storage and media sharing solutions"} {"id": "t3_3madqr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (36f) just got separated and my sister (34f) now wants to move in with me. I don't want her to.", "post": "I went through a sad separation from my husband, and now my son and I rent a 2 bedroom condo. I've only been here 5 months and I'm still learning to adjust to everything. It is the first time I've ever lived \"on my own\" (my son is only 7).\n\nRecently, my sister has decided she is unhappy and wants to leave her marriage (no kids). She has no money of her own. She wants to leave their house and she has asked if I'll be there for her and let her stay here \"for a little while\". \n\nI have no idea what to do. She truly has nowhere else to go. But I don't want a roomie here. I just don't. Plus she has no money of her own (even together they never had much), and I don't have enough to support anyone else. She didn't ask me to, but we both know she doesn't have money.\n\nShe seems to think if she moves out he will just agree to put their house up for sale and everything will be fine. I doubt that. There will be lawyers involved, it could take months and months. In the meantime, she is going to be living in my space. I don't think this is fair to my son either.\n\nI just have no idea what to say to her. I feel horrible. It feels like I'm letting her down if I tell her that I truthfully am not ok with having anyone living with me. I just went through a separation....I'm trying to heal.", "summary": "I just got separated and got my own place. My sister suddenly has decided she wants to end her marriage and live with me \"for a little while\". I think if she moves in she'll be her for good."} {"id": "t3_45llno", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Having trouble keeping myself from eating all of my calories early in the day.", "post": "Hello, I'm looking for some insight into what exactly is happening to me. I should say that over the last two years, I have lost 108 pounds following a low-carb diet plan. I am still on it, and works fine, but in the last couple of months I am always tempted to just eat everything at once. \n\nI don't overeat; once I have eaten all of what I logged into MFP, I am done for the day but around 9pm or so, I am starving and you could hear my stomach from the room next door I swear but I still abstain from eating and just try to ignore it until it is time for bed.\n \nI am increasingly worried that this sort of behavior will become a habit and I'll eventually cave in and start eating more than I should.\n\nI'll add this to my profile (once I figure out how to) but my stats are: F/5'5/146. I recently hurt myself at the gym so I am taking a week off but normally I work out 6 days a week doing a variation of strong lifts. Because I am not going to the gym, I am eating around 1200 right now; normally, around 1500. I don't think it is the food amount that's the issue, just the overwhelming desire to eat all at once. \n\nAnyone have experience this or have any idea of what is happening? Any help would be great!", "summary": "I want to eat all my food for the day at once; after I do, I don't eat again, but I get very hungry later in the day."} {"id": "t3_17fsdz", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Reddit, a little help/advice please.", "post": "*Based in W. Midlands, England*\n\n**Background info:**\nFebruary 2012 - got married & made redundant in the same week.\nWife luckily started job in March. Part-time hours.\nStruggle to find work until August 2012. Start working at the same place as my wife. Job title: Bank Support Worker.\nFirst two weeks go fine, got plenty of shifts. Then the shifts became fewer and further between despite many promises from management that things would soon pick up.\nI haven't had a single shift since November. \nMy wife has just been told they're cutting all bank staff due to cut backs. They have removed all of her hours on the rota.\nI have applied in person and online for exactly 298 jobs in the last 2 months - not one has landed an interview. I have applied for things I am more than capable of and have experience in. Also I've been fixing friends/families/anyone who will listens' computers for \u00a310 a time, which to date has made \u00a350. (8+ years fixing computers for free as a hobby/favour)\n\n**Today:**\n\u00a3780 in the bank, \u00a3750 of which will be taken via direct debit on rent & bills on the 14/2/2013.\nBenefits + current money won't pay the bills in March. \n\nI have less than a month to land a job or we cannot afford to pay rent & utilities - let alone food. I have no idea what to do. I have managed to keep all of our finances barely in the black over the passed year so there are no debtors knocking on the door just yet but her work cutting all of her hours is a deathblow. \n\n**My previous employment history:**\n5 years in retail.\n2 years in a high school reprographics department.\n6 months in a care home.\n\nAll I hope is that someone, somewhere has some advice I could follow to get us out of this mess. I don't want to start nosediving into debt. Plus my wife is taking this all really badly - she does not do well with stress.", "summary": "I was made redundant last February, worked on and off since then, money has finally ran out. Every job under the sun has been applied for. Help please"} {"id": "t3_3mxg49", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "This post isn't even the worst thing I've thought to post today.", "post": "I'm going to be very honest here: I'm a lonely person. All I have wanted my whole life (starting from when I became aware that people can be attracted to one another) all I have wanted is a friend who I don't feel strange cuddling with (also sex is involved). Unfortunately for myself I have some problems that prevent me from convincing myself that I can be loved, so I have come to you O reddit, to vent and feel just a tiny bit worse about myself because a girl I barely know won't text me. So there. \n\nAlso real quick, my life has been almost (but not quite) literally falling apart around my face for the past year, ever since an accident I had in 2014; not to mention I've been dealing with depression since I was about 13-14. I also have a stress thing, and according to my doctor, ADD. I realize this has moved from get something off your chest to \"I'm eating myself happy\" territory but, fuck it. To be honest, this started as an /r/r4r post. Then I realized how fucked up my head is and that no one in any state of mind would respond to my post, so here I am.", "summary": "I'm sad a lot, a girl I like won't respond so I've given up, and also I kind of hate myself just a little bit more for posting this."} {"id": "t3_hr1k8", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Girl didn't say much either time we hung out, is this salvageable?", "post": "Basically I'm a FA, pretty shy, and not a great conversationalist, (23/m), so I haven't really dated at all, kissed, loved, etc. Last winter, my neighbor's dad basically told my dad that my (19/f) neighbor would like to go to a movie with me while she was off from Winter Break. I texted her her and we went to a movie, had decent conversation during the car ride but she didn't really say anything while we were waiting for the movie to start (like 5-10 mins). I don't think she initiated more than one topic the entire time we were together. Either way, at the end she said it was fun and we should definitely hang out over the summer (she was leaving back for school that week), which I was cool with because she's cute and very nice and she is single.\n\nSo I text her when she got home and she said she'd love to go another movie or do something sometime soon. I asked her what time and she said afternoon or evening is good. The next day, I proposed that we go to a movie and then get something to eat. She said she only had time for a movie and not dinner (that's probably a red flag?). Either way, we went to the movie and had good conversation on the way there where she initiated a couple topics. Once we got there, she confidently stepped to the ticket line and bought a single ticket, I bought her ticket last time (red flag?). I made some light conversation while we were waiting for the movie to start. Then on the way home, she didn't really say a word. I tried to start something once but she gave a one word reply. All she said as a dropped her off was \"Thanks\" (red flag?). \n\nThere are a lot of red flags. I'd like to get to know her more but I don't know if this is even remotely salvageable. She has a couple really close friends and she seems pretty sociable judging by her Facebook. Is she just shy around me? She acted the same both times even though she seemed very excited to meet up in her texts. I'm really confused. Any suggestions?", "summary": "girl seemed excited to meet-up both times, didn't really talk much, OP is also shy so it felt awkward but I still want to meet up again."} {"id": "t3_1ouojj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriends (26F) cousin (24F) works with me and we carpool. The cousin comes to my house, sits on my bed, and wait for her boyfriend to pick her up. It's driving my girlfriend crazy. Am I in the wrong?", "post": "Recently my girlfriends cousin got hired at my work place. The cousin doesn't have a car yet, so she carpools with me. After work, the cousin has to come stay at my house for a few minutes because her boyfriend has to go pick up their daughter first. The cousin comes to my room and sits on my bed while she waits. \n\nWhen my girlfriend found out that she stays in my room, she got really mad. In fact, I just had an argument with her about it. Basically, my girlfriend says it's really weird and unlady-like for her cousin to do that and it's even weirder for me to let her. But I never even thought of it that way. I absolutely love my girlfriend to death and she's all I ever think about. I don't even look at other women anymore because I'm still crazy for her. And I would never cheat on her or do anything close to might be considered cheating. I am in no way attracted to her cousin at all.\n\nI just don't see anything wrong with it because I'm not insecure about my feelings and don't care to judge others much. But my girlfriend is basically saying, \"Well what am I supposed to think when we have kids and you condone this type of behavior???\" Even though I never said I condone it.\n\nI just don't know what to think right now. Am I the asshole in this situation?", "summary": "My girlfriends cousins works with me and waits my room afterward for her boyfriend to come pick her up. Girlfriend hates this."} {"id": "t3_u0fhf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what have you done that has made you accidently spook a random stranger?", "post": "a few months ago me and my SO were heading into a busy store to go food shopping. it got pretty busy at the entrance and a few people were trying to leave and come in at once. as we were moving along it got harder to navigate and I let out a growl (rawr) as a kind of joke.\n\napparently to other people it sounded like I was pissed and meant it because a lady in front of me immediately apologized profusely.\n\nI felt really bad because she sounded genuinely concerned.\n\nit was also embarrassing because it looked for a bit like a young white girl just growled at a nice african american mother.", "summary": "when entering a crowded store I growled and a random woman thought she had done something wrong. she apologized profusely and I felt bad about it."} {"id": "t3_35g324", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My father [M75] let my dog run away and I'm [F22] pissed. How do I repair things?", "post": "I just graduated from college and decided to celebrate by adopting a dog. He's a tiny Pomeranian mix who is extremely quiet and well-behaved. I've been spending a lot of time taking him on long walks, enrolling him in obedience classes, and overall bonding with him as much as possible. \n\nMy dad wants nothing to do with my boy and is instead focused on our other two dogs. That's fine with me, since I can handle the responsibility. Until... Today. \n\nMy dog is normally glued to my side and today was no exception. He was lying at my feet when I was busy working in the dining roon. My dad was making some noise by the front door and he jumped up to go see.\n\nWell, my dad swung the door wide open and my baby ran outside. Rather than chasing him or calling him, my dad finished what he was doing and then came over to me. Our conversation went kinda like this-\n\nHim- *\"Oh by the way, your dog ran away.\"*\n\nMe- *\"Wait, WHAT? How did he get outside?\"*\n\nHim- *\"I opened the door and he ran out. You're responsible for controlling your dog.\"*\n\nMe- *\"He was lying right next to me! Where did he go?\"*\n\nHim- *\"I don't know, across the street, I think. He's your responsibility, not mine!\"*\n\nLong story short, I rushed outside and our neighbor was petting him across the street. Nothing bad happened, but it could've. We live on a busy street and it's not a safe environment for a loose dog.\n\nI recognize that I should be watching him at all times, but I'm only human and it's inevitavle I'll get distracted. In the meantime, I feel like my family should be looking out for him to make sure he doesn't get hurt. I do all the feeding, walking, grooming, training and so forth, and I work from home so he's always with me. How do I set boundaries with my dad to ensure that my pet is safe?", "summary": "My dad wants nothing to do with my dog and let him run out into the street today. How do I explain that even though the dog is my responsibility, he should care about his well-being to some degree?"} {"id": "t3_3y979t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my best friend [25 M] 3 years, If you're a nervous wreck, is telling someone how you feel about them over text appropriate?", "post": "I've liked this same guy for an embarassing amount of time. I've been trying to ask him out, but I get so nervous (in a good way!) around him...plus we both talk a lot so it is hard to get a word in (lol). \n\nWe are both very close and are good friends, but I want to be something more. Would it be appropriate to tell him how I feel through a text or private message? Just wondering what opinions others may have about this. \n\nWould you be offended? Would you be doubtful of what the person was telling you? How would you overcome the nerves and tell them in person? Any thoughts/opinions/insights would be very helpful!", "summary": "I get so nervous it is hard to stay focused on what I want to say. I feel that texting might help, but I am not sure."} {"id": "t3_33po93", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Boyfriend and the stip club.", "post": "So... My boyfriend of a year and half is in Florida for work. Tonight is his last night there and he mentioned that one of his work buddies wanted to take him to the strip club. I feel uneasy with it. And I told him my feelings on it... but he sounded a bit upset. I didn't tell him he couldn't go. Because that isn't how are relationship is. But maybe I should change my feelings toward it?\n\nSo my questions are here: \n1.) Is going to the strip club on the verge of cheating?\n2.) Should I feel uneasy or should I just trust he is going to stare at some butts and stuff..", "summary": "Boyfriend away on business, wants to go to strip club. Don't want to be THAT girl who \"doesn't let her boyfriend do things.\" WHAT DO?!"} {"id": "t3_3glkrx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Wife (35F) having emotional affair with boss (51M), became physical, but then he.... (UPDATE)", "post": "Original post: \n\nI really did read all of your comments, and thank you. I was pretty upset and didn't do much responding. It was definitely trickle truth. Each time I pushed her, more stuff came out. It was definitely a longer term thing, definitely physical on more than one occasion. \n\nI told her she couldn't work with him, and she shouldn't want to if what she was saying was true. She agreed. She agreed to counseling. She also agreed to give me access to all of her texts, emails, phone, etc. in real time (there's an app for that) She wants to work things out - especially since we have two kids under 2. \n\nAs for me, I have to figure out how to get past it, how to forgive, and how not to be a giant sucker. I think that last one may be the hardest. Any words of wisdom are definitely appreciated.", "summary": "Trickle truth, it was worse than originally reported, agreed to quit job, agreed to counseling, we'll see what happens."} {"id": "t3_1wja4w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I accept that my [28M] girlfriend [30] has an ex-husband?", "post": "I know this is probably a pretty common question, but so far I haven't read anything that's helped me.\n\nIn short, my girlfriend of about 6 months has an ex-husband who she was married to for six years (they split up about three years ago). She had a kid with him and they share custody. I think the kid is great. Her and her ex are on somewhat good terms (mostly because they have to be because of said kid). The biggest problem is I think that I've basically ignored the fact that I now have to not only acknowledge that he exists, but he is going to play a part in her life. Forever. \n\nFor instance, her kid's birthday party is coming up and he's going to be there. I can't not go. I feel like I'm on the verge of having an anxiety attack every time I think about it.\n\nI just want there to be some magic way that I can flip a switch in my brain, and not care anymore. I feel like now that the reality has hit that he's going to be around, I can't even see the word \"marriage\" or hear mention of the notion of having kids because it triggers a huge emotional response where all I can think of is \"there's a guy out there that you're going to forever have to put up with that impregnated your girlfriend, and knows her better than you ever will\".\n\nOur relationship has seriously been pretty much perfect until this (she is one of the most caring and mature people I've met), and now I feel like everything's been upended. I've tried talking to her about it but I don't think any amount of explaining can get her to realize just how badly this is affecting me. And even worse, I know how silly it probably sounds. I want it to stop affecting me and make things go back to the way they were before but I don't know how to make that happen.\n\nCan anyone offer some advice?", "summary": "how can I accept the fact that my girlfriend has an ex-husband that will pretty much always be in the picture in some way shape or form?"} {"id": "t3_3e37g0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Visited my [22M] girlfriend [21F] of 6 months having not seen her for 6 weeks. She was no longer attracted to me.", "post": "My girlfriend of 6 months has a summer job on east coast. Our relationship was perfect and we've tried to Skype every other day (and message in between) whilst she's been away. Before she left we organised for me to fly to her city so we could spend a week together, to help break up the 10 weeks that we would be apart from each other.\n\nEverything seemed quite normal, but when I arrived I felt like something was wrong. Whilst she was happy to cuddle etc, she would actively avoid anything more than little kisses.\n\nObviously this made me feel awful, but I was patient with her, thinking there must be a reasonable explanation. As the days went on I felt more and more uncomfortable, which she realised and eventually admitted that since I arrived, she didn't feel attracted to me in a sexual way, and the idea of it made her uncomfortable. She said she didn't understand why and she only realised when she saw me.\n\nShe can't control how she feels and I explained that I didn't blame her for feeling like that, and was only upset with the actual situation. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, so stepped back and let her initiate anything that happened. Pretty soon after we talked we ended up having sex and since then things felt normal, and she said things were back to normal to.\n\nI've been back in Portland for a week now and things are still okay - however I'm worried that it might happen again, and that she's not as invested in the relationship as I am.", "summary": "Went to see GF after 6 weeks apart. She wasn't attracted to me. Says she is now, but I'm worried what this means for the long term."} {"id": "t3_p4qx6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, is it Forever Alone of me to still want to communicate with a girl I broke up with 2 years ago?", "post": "For a little back story, I fell in love with her the last few weeks of Junior year in high school, and had the best summer I've ever had. Now we had this relationship knowing that she would be going to Costa Rica over the remainder of the summer to see her family. After the summer was over, she would come back and we'd be like peas in a pod. Unfortunately, about a week before she was going on her way, her foster parents (The people that took care of her in the U.S.) decided they just couldn't handle an outgoing girl like her, as they were complete shut-ins. \n \n Needless to say that was a bit depressing and we tried to make up for lost time in that last week. Once she left we maintained the relationship in a long-distance sort of way through Skype, and tried to find a place her parents would let her stay here in the U.S. Unfortunately, they shot down everything my family offered and sent her to a school in Florida. This would be great, but I live in South Carolina and at the time wasn't allowed to drive that far.\n \n We kept the long distance relationship thing all throughout the summer and into the next school year. The week before I was going to come down to see her, we were talking on the phone, she mentioned some guy, and I snapped. It was an overreaction on my part, but what was done was done. I tried to make it right because I still loved her, and to this day she is the only girl I've found to have real integrity to go with her beauty.\n \n I've tried to make it right when it happened but it seemed hopeless. She lives in Tennessee now, so it's pretty much out of the picture for anything really. Still, she might have the world's best sense of humor, which is why I talked to, and fell for her in the first place. I will admit I still have feelings for her, no matter how minute.\n \n Am I forever alone for this?", "summary": "Fell in love with girl, girl moved to Costa Rica, then Florida, then Tennessee. Still feel for girl, can't see her, just want to talk to her because she's hilarious. Does it make me Forever Alone?"} {"id": "t3_bhopi", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How can I talk to a human at Google?", "post": "Here's the story: my GMail account very suddenly stopped accepting my password in *September*. I have been trying since to regain access to it, though I have of course changed every password and account linked to it. Anyone I would want to talk to has a new email address (with a much stronger password), but I really just want to know that the account is back under my control.\n\nI mostly used it as a registration address and email with a very small number of friends, and the automated tools keep rejecting me. I have literally 2 years worth of emails archived, and I know the last password, the general contents (but not exact) of the secret question, as well as the primary ways in which the account was legitimately accessed.", "summary": "I lost my GMail account because I never updated the information I registered it with when you still needed an invite, hope to talk to an actual human being and get it back."} {"id": "t3_35jylb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] with my girlfriend [18F] have been dating for three years and have been sexually active for a while now and got caught having sex by her parents", "post": "I am currently in college and my SO lives in my home town and we have been doing this long distance thing for an entire school year now. I visit as often as I can and we started to have sex a couple months ago. We use protection every time and she is on birth control, her mother put her on it.\n\nI got back from college the other day and we went over to her place and we decided to have sex. We were in her room and I looked out and saw her mom standing there. We cleaned ourselves up and we both sat down on her bed. Her mom asked to speak with her privately and I just sat there. They came back in and her mom asked me to leave and I did.\n\nIt has been a couple days since then and contact with my girlfriend has been very sparse and I am getting a little nervous for her and our relationship. When we do talk she does not sound good and she has asked to talk to me about the future of our relationship and how we need to be on the same page. She also says that she feels she is punishing herself more then her parents are and I can only imagine the amount of guilt and shame she is feeling. \n\nI told my SO that I told my parents about that night, so both sides know, and she just seems like she has disappointed everyone and is taking this situation really hard, but I let my SO know that her relationship with my parents has not changed because of our actions.\n\nMe on the other hand do not know what her parents think of me,if they hate me or just disappointed in me, and am really nervous because my girlfriend is their only child and they have never had to deal with anything like this before. I am afraid that her parents are going to ban me from the house or force her to break up with me or even pull her out of going to school with me in the fall, so I am here seeking advice on how I can help the situation and have everything go as smoothly as possible.", "summary": "Got caught having sex by my girlfriends mom and my SO is taking it really hard. I am just looking for some advice to help everything work out."} {"id": "t3_24stw9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Am [23/m] I asking too much from my girlfriend [22/f]? Advice appreciated. [xpost /r/relationships]", "post": "Our relationship has been going for a little over 9 months. Before we started dating I was in the military and now I'm a civilian going to college. Before I started school in January I had a full-time job. Now that I'm in school I'm working about 3 days per week. The amount of hours I get workd fine for me, it gives me time to work on school work and I'm not hurting for money because I have savings and I receive a housing allowance because of my military service using the GI Bill.\n\nShe has no problem with how much I work. But its her family that has a huge problem with it. They feel I should work full time and go to school full time. But Im not doing that. There's no reason to.\nBecause I don't work enough in their eyes I'm a terrible person and they even go as far as blaming me for the problems their daughter is having. She forgot to do something? My faults. She doesn't know what she wants to do after she finishes college? My fault. Etc. Then they have the nerve to criticize every single thing I do or say. I get no respect from them.\n\nI told her unless she tells them that I want to feel respected and welcomed into their home, I will not be going to her house. She thinks its my responsibility to talk to them about it. Even though if she was in my situation she would expect me to talk to my parents about the problem.\n\nWho should it be that talks to her parents? Am I wrong for taking a stand and not going there if I feel that I'm disrespected? Am I being reasonable in being upset about how they treat me? Much advice is appreciated. Thank you.", "summary": "girlfriends parents disrespect me. I asked her to talk to them about how I feel. She feels I should talk to them. Help?"} {"id": "t3_2uu597", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by staying too late at school", "post": "This happend about an hour ago so the pain of it is still fresh.\n\nI'm a Junior studying mechanical engineering at a college in Ohio. Ohio weather, if you don't already know, can go for sunny and warm to windy and cold in a matter of hours which is exactly what happened today. \n\nAround 4pm (weather is mid 40's and sunny) I finished my classes and decided that I'd like to \"get work done\" so I walked back to the engineering building. I found a study room in the basement and proceeded to do work, browse reddit/Imgur, and listen to music. Not much work was getting done but whatever, so I stayed a while. 9 pm rolls around and I realize that I need to get home and get food. I leave the engineering building and lo and behold it's snowing. I trudge through the fairly shallow but slippery snow to my house. On the way there I nearly slip, but my amazing sense of balance saves me from eating shit in the street.\n\nI make it to my house where I run upstairs to drop of my bags so I can chill with house mates in our living room. At the top of the stairs all hell breaks loose. I slip on the top step and proceed to fall all the way down. The fall, which my roommates witnesses, was very reminiscent of a Home Alone movie. I hit my left leg on every stair on the way down but managed not to flip over. So now, I'm sitting typing this on my couch with my leg, which is in much pain and very swollen, elevated and I'm using frozen vegetables to ice it. Shits embarrassing and painful.", "summary": "Stayed late for little reason at my building and it started snowing. Got home and ate major shit slipping down a flight of stairs Home Alone style. Leg swollen and in a lot of pain."} {"id": "t3_2jt0fa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] get on well with [20 F] I have been dating but had enough of chasing after her.", "post": "Been on two dates with this woman I met recently, first meeting was just getting to know each other, and we was holding hands and made out at the end of the second date.\n\nHowever I am starting to get irritated that it seems to be me doing most of the chasing even though she definitely seems interested. We last spoke a few days ago and we said we would arrange meeting up again this week, we have both been busy and not spoken since that message but I have had enough of always making the first move... so should I wait it out with the prospect that we may never talk again?\n\nNot really sure how to handle the situation, she is a lovely woman and enjoy spending time with her... but I am not prepared to always do the chasing?", "summary": "Been on two dates with woman, fed up of always chasing after her, even though she seems positive about meeting up again."} {"id": "t3_4hxx7d", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Rejected from Grad School...don't know where to start", "post": "This is more of a simple vent to relieve my mind. \n\nI live in Pennsylvania and just graduated with a B.S. in Psychology. I applied to grad school for addictions counseling in Oregon, hoping the acceptance into the program would provide a good chance for me to establish myself and my girlfriend in a new area. I most likely got rejected because my gpa is a 3.0 and I didn't pursue an internship (couldn't afford to commit to an unpaid internship). \n\nI still want to move out to Oregon, though I realize it will probably take a little longer now that we'd have to start working right off the bat instead of pursuing our master degrees. I'm going to apply to other programs for the upcoming spring and possibly some social work programs, but it's definitely a tad discouraging.\n\nWhat I've found to be frustrating in my research to find a job with my degree, which I'm sure there are many others in my position, is that it's incredibly difficult to attain an entry level position when they require experience in order to be considered. \n\nI looked at how to get CADC certified to be a substance abuse counselor...but it seems that I need at least 2-3 years of experience before I can achieve the certificate.", "summary": "Got rejected from grad school and finding an entry level position in substance abuse counseling appears next to impossible. I'll land on my feet and figure something out, I'm just a little lost"} {"id": "t3_c9j6f", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is This Possible...?", "post": "So I was going through the subreddits I'm subscribed to and I was curious as to why there isn't a more organized, simple way to find and subscribe to them. \n\nI would imagine a page with collapsible categories and checkboxes to subscribe/unsubscribe would be much more user friendly. Is this feasible? I understand that there are many subreddits -- so you could only include ones with over 100 or 250 subscribers to narrow it down. Additionally, there could be a preference option to keep your subreddit out of the list if you so choose.\n\nI understand that the admins are busy, which is why the title doesn't say \"For the admins\". I know Reddit has some decent programmers, and quite a few decent minds. Is anyone else interested in revamping the subreddit subscription method? I'm sure there are enough programmers here to start a community project.\n\nI apologize for the rambling nature of this post.", "summary": "I think the current layout of the subreddits needs to be organized and I would be willing to contribute to a community programming project to get it done."} {"id": "t3_2fwh4k", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Tortoise or Hare? A question about plateaus.", "post": "First off, thank you guys for all your support and encouragement! I definitely couldn't have gotten so far in my weightloss journey without this community.\n\nI guess I have hit a bit of a snag, in that I've lost about 2/3 of my goal and am slowing down. Everybody talks about doing big shocks to your system like eating more or less or drastically changing their excercise to bust through a plateau, but I'm worried something like that may derail me to be quite honest. I am hoping someone can share any experience that if I just keep on keeping on (eating 1200 calories/day) I can get through a plateau, even if it is very slowly.", "summary": "Lose it, please let me know if I can slow and steady my way through a plateau, or if I should get my jackrabbit shoes on."} {"id": "t3_2fcr1y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] pursuing my crush [?? F] in my class at uni", "post": "So, start off with some back story, I don't know how far back or relevant we need to go...\n\nSo during high school (it always starts at high school right?)\nI got along ok with females, not great, but i had a girlfriend mostly when i wanted one. However, i was a bit of a drop out and started getting heavy into drugs and became a bit of a social outcast.\n\nSince then i have wisened up and mostly stopped hard drugs (just smoke a bit of pot). Anyway I have been single for about 2 years now, and only have a handful of friends (which i don't even know how i met), and most of these are either from or still in the town i used to live in before i moved for uni. \n\nI have very poor socializing skills, and get quite nervous/anxious in public situations. However i would really like a girlfriend, there's one girl in particular that has been catching my eye. We only have one class together, last semester we were in the same lab class too. I have kinda talked to her, but very little, and it was only about class work. \n\nAnyway, this one day a week, when we have two lectures with an hour break, she is usually studying in the same general area as I am. I have tried building up the courage to actually talk to her, but cannot. I get overridden with nerves. I think it would be possible however to, just kind of walk past, and slip her a note; possibly with my number, and asking if she wants to meet up for coffee (even though i don't drink coffee) or a drink or something... I really don't want to seem creepy or weird or anything though. also the thought of leaving evidence of my humility to show her friends is a bit embarrassing.", "summary": "I have a crush on a chick in my lectures at uni, but don't have the courage to speak to her, is it weird or creepy or bad or anything on writing her a note? (minimal previous contact)"} {"id": "t3_2sw04y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my Girlfriend [16 F] of four months, she just doesn't get some things that get under my skin.", "post": "Before anyone says it, yes we're young, and yes, it's a young relationship. Reason numbers one and two why I don't want to jeopardize the whole thing.\n\nBut, I have problems with how she doesn't quite understand (or at-least acts like she doesn't understand) why some things she does just \"rub me the wrong way.\" Like when she brings up boyfriends that she says she has absolutely no feelings for anymore, and then I get sort of \"iffy\" about it.\n\nOr when she disregards me completely in a manner that makes her seem either like she is mad or had zero interest in talking to me. \n\nOr, if it's a story you want, how about how she continues to talk to this guy who is obviously flirting with her (I'm not the only individual who has noticed) and she says he annoys her but won't quit talking to him despite me warning her I will take it into my own hands if it doesn't stop.\n\nOr that she's just going to tell me how much she misses me and can't wait to see my again but first she has to spend a while talking to this older dude, but what worries me is that she specified it was just to talk, and that it's going to be somewhere I won't be near (another area of the building.)\n\nI don't mean to sound like I think I should be the center of every aspect of second of her life, but JFC, she knows this stuff gets on my nerves, and I tell myself I trust her and I shouldn't care but I just do! I can't get over it. \n\nBut ranting a little here has made me feel better. I'm still steaming about that last thing, though. Apparently that's happening Tuesday.", "summary": "Girlfriend doesn't understand why some things she does I just don't like or feel secure about. Like specifying when she's going to talk to another guy when she's specifically not near me, and feeling the need to tell me."} {"id": "t3_54k1i4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Who is wrong her or me ?", "post": "Hey guys, i'm posting here to see the opinion of other people to see what they think about this.\n\nSo yesterday I was moving homes, for that I called 1 friend so he could come and help me out. He had another friend with him (guy) and 2 girls. One being his girlfriend and the other one the sister's girlfriend which his already in a relationship. So to sum it up we were 3 guys and 2 girls to help me move out.\n\nOh and btw, my girlfriend was unable to come as she had to work.\n\nSo I told my girlfriend that only my one friend was coming as I did not know the rest were coming.\n\nAfter we finished moving, I told her that I was going to drop off everyone who helped me out. So she asked who helped me and I told her the names of all those persons.\n\nThat's were she got upset. She got angry to the fact that I did not tell her that the other 2 girls were coming as soon as I saw them. But I did tell her when we finished.\nSo from that on she as been arguing and arguing. Because she says that I hid it from her.. \n\nWho is in the right and who is in the wrong here?\n\nLike those she have a reason to get angry about that..?\n\nIf you need any clarification about something feel free to ask.\n\nWe are both 20 years old and have been together for almost 2 years now.\n\nThank you.", "summary": "(She got mad because 2 girls came out to help me move and I didn't tell her until we finished because I didn't even know they were coming.)"} {"id": "t3_f6ug9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I want to go to a music school... but I already have a successful job ... what should I do?", "post": "I can give more details if asked, but right now I'm basically going to explain whats going on. \n\nI work as a sound engineer. I'm a lead at the company. Most audio people would think I have got it good! Though I don't get paid well, I like my job. \n\nRecently I have taken towards piano. Actually it's more like I have been studying the piano for years, and for whatever reason... I want to master the instrument. I don't mean learn how to play but learn music, I want to go back to school to learn how to play the Piano and I want to become good. I want to become amazing. I want to learn rules about music composition that are beyond what we learn in music theory. I want to learn how composers like Beethoven and Bach made the pieces of music as they did, with the passion and dedication they put into each and every note. \n\nBasically what I'm saying is ... I want to go to a music conservatory. I don't want to dream it anymore, I want to BE IT! \n\nReddit, I know that I have to learn the piano for at least a year (at least 3 hours a day minimum) before I can even consider applying to a music conservatory. I don't even know if they will accept someone as old as me (I'm 26) I don't know how it works. \n\nI don't know how it will work financially, I don't know. But I want to know. \n\nI have always dreamed of going to the Colburn School in LA (I'm a resident in LA).... am I an idiot for wanting to leave this job and go back to school? I have friends who are graduating and going back to school to learn something else because they can't find work in music. I have no family who can support me. I'm on my own here in LA. \n\nI have an associates degree in the art of recording (engineering in audio basically). \n\nWhat do I do? Where do I start?", "summary": "I want to quit my job and go back to school to learn music, what would I need to be able to do this?"} {"id": "t3_ffayx", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can a girl love you and still date somebody else? Story time.", "post": "So I was meaning to get this off my chest for a while, here it goes.\n\nIn December 2009, I started talking to this girl I met online. I didn't think anything of it, and all we did was just talk online, or text. Soon after, she called me on the phone, and we became pretty serious. She is an amazing person with an addictive personality after talking countless hours with her. The problem? She is 35 with 2 kids and I'm 21 studying to become an Accountant. For the longest time we both wanted a relationship so badly, but I told myself it would never work because we are both in 2 completely different stages of our life. I wanted kids and she already had kids. So after fighting her desire for a relationship, we became best friends, and we are both extremely happy. \n\nShe broke up with her ex boyfriend (who is around my age), and after a year and half, they recently got back together. I feel a little be crappy about it, but I keep reminding myself that I was the one who didn't want a relationship. She is forever grateful that I came into her life, and says I was the best thing to ever happen to her life. She had a dark time where she fell into depression and she tells me that I am the reason for her getting out of that depression period. \n\nEven after she got back with her ex, she still tells me she loves me, and will forever do so because of all the things I helped her with to get rid of her depression. She goes on further by saying that given the opportunity, she would spend the rest of her life with me because she knew I was the one. I feel the same way. You may call me an idiot for thinking that way, but it's how I feel, i'm entitled to have my heart express the feelings I have for this girl. \n\nAnyways, how would you feel if the girl you were dating was just dating you because the guy she really wanted told her it could never happen?", "summary": "I'm 21, she is 35. She got back with her ex, and tells me she still loves me. Given the opportunity, she would spend the rest of her life with me, but I told her it could never happen."} {"id": "t3_15cuzb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Issues with my father", "post": "Since I was very young My father [49] has been very emotionally abusive to myself M [17] and my family (Mother [48] and sisters [16] and [12]). I grew up with a lot of self esteem problems. Basically when we did things wrong as children, rather than using things like \"time outs\" he would resort to belittling us, and telling us how worthless we were. As I got older my self-esteem and social skills have improved so much thanks to some terrific people in my life. As my self-esteem has grown, my relationship with my father is become rather bitter. We fight constantly, and while neither of us really hold a grudge it's never really resolved either making each fight much worst than the last. I used to try to be the bigger person and apologize for upsetting him(usually when I did nothing wrong), but that never got me anywhere other than him acting as though he deserved more than my apology. I'm pretty laid back person, but when ever he talking down to me, or even worse my mom or my sisters it enrages me. I think of all the years of low self-esteem and depression I went through. The hard thing is, he isn't some heartless monster. He loves us a lot, and he gets really upset after he hurts us. I really want to help him, but I don't know how to get through to him.", "summary": "I really want to improve the relationship with my Dad, but I don't know where to begin. He is very emotionally abusive to our family, and he not only hurts us, but himself as well."} {"id": "t3_3r3254", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [31M] has upset my gf [24F] of 10 months by talking to random girls from the internet.", "post": "First Reddit post so I hope I'm doing this right. \n\nI've long had serious self image issues. I never thought I could ever have a girl like me. I learned at a young age, females are much more approachable and nice online.\n\nI had my first relationship at 29. I spent the whole time trying to convince myself I was worthy. I tried to internalize all the nice things females said online about me.\n\nI joined a dating site but didnt want to meet anyone unless they forced the issue. Then I met a girl I felt really comfortable with, well, comfortable for me.\n\nI had a tough time giving up talking to girls I knew I'd never meet because it felt like without that, I'd realize I wasn't worthy. But for my latest gf, I cut it down to none.\n\nShe jokes about having a hot and cold relationship. She can literally can jokingly say she hates me one minute and say she loves me the next. I couldn't have handled that years ago, and even now it gives me a sick feeling in my stomach.\n\nBut I dealt with it and told myself I could do it.\n\nA few months ago a girl I had talked to previously online messaged me. She lives on the other side of the country. I messed up and encouraged the conversation.\n\nI didn't want to meet her...I didn't want sex talk....I didn't want a girl at the side. I wanted a reminder I was good enough.\n\nOK, I'm pathetic. I admit it. The gf found out. I lied in fear then told her the truth. I feel sick. So sick. I felt a little sick each time I responded to a message before the gf found out. But now knowing I could lose her, I am that 1000 fold. \n\nAny help? Advice?\n\n(", "summary": ") I was talking to a random online girl through text, gf found it, she is very upset and hurt."} {"id": "t3_1c418x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [25/f] Chinese with two older sisters [29 and 33] and no longer want to address them by their formal family titles", "post": "For my entire life, I have addressed my older sisters by their family titles ArJieJie (second older sister) and DaJieJie (big older sister). I was 'forbidden' from saying their actual names and used these titles as a form of respect for elders, something that's pretty important in Chinese culture. We were all born and raised in the US, and all our friends seem to think it was funny and we usually just laughed it off. I think I'd like to start calling them by their actual names at this point for a few reasons:\n\n- We're adults now, it just seems silly to use this antiquated system. I'm a successful, self sufficient woman now (even more successful than one of them), and I believe I should be respected as well. \n\n- I had to pick up one of my sisters from the hospital a few weeks ago since she passed out drunk with puke on herself on a freaking subway car. That experience was pretty eye opening and I lost all respect for her. \n\n- My boyfriend is older than both of them. He's sensed that since he is 'tied to me', they do not respect him, which he is not down for. (One time he joked and called one of them young and told her to respect her elders, but she replied that since he's with me, she doesn't have to). \n\nI talked to one of my mom about it and she said I should just ask them if they are okay with it, but they were not down with the plan. \n\nI see how this could be as simple as just starting to call them by their names, seems easy enough. But I wanted to get some feedback anyway - I'm going against a lifetime of conditioning and every part of me is resisting even though I rationally understand that it shouldn't be a big deal. I'd love to hear about other people's experiences going against hierarchical structures in their cultures as well.", "summary": "I called my older sisters by their formal names, now I want to call them their given names, they resist, I'd like to handle this delicately and not be a bitch."} {"id": "t3_13v0ga", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "bf (25) uses message boards that can filter by state...normal or should I be worried?", "post": "We have been together for 2.5 years, I'm 26, he's 25. I found out he goes to those message boards where you can \"filter sluts\" by state. anonib is the one that I know of for sure. Should I be worried...should I bring it up? Is this something that's normal? If I do bring it up what should I say? There have been no red flags to indicate that he may be cheating. I totally get porn. I love porn, he loves porn that doesn't bug me...but I feel a tad concerned if he is looking at these image boards of girls in the same state as ours....do people actually meet up?", "summary": "Boyfriend goes on anonib to look at girls in our state...normal or should I be concerned? How should I approach the topic..."} {"id": "t3_2v92ng", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] and [28M] got hot and heavy one night but I feel he pulling away from me? He is really \"busy\" or losing interest?", "post": "I've been dating this guy for more than 2 months. We hit it off well and been taking things slowly. We see each other at least once a week and we communicate via text on a daily basis. He would text me in the morning, afternoon and before bedtime. It used to be a lot of texting but we calmed down to a decent \"normal\" amount. \n\nLast weekend, I came over to his place and we become intimate (no sex though). It was amazing to say the least. I thought it would have made us grown closer but after that I have been hearing from him less and less. \n\nHe has told me he is busy with work, classes and moving into a new place. So yes, those are legit reasons to not be as responsive. However, it would take him 10+ hours just to get back to me and I would see him being active on social media. He would leave me hanging when we text, he no longer tells me goodnight, and he hasn't made any plans whatsoever with me. I even offered to help him with the move but he totally ignored it. BUT when he does text me, he apologizes for not getting back to me or he would tell me what he was doing and ask about my day...\n\nWe haven't had \"the talk\" yet and we didn't discuss any plans for Valentine's Day either. Is he slowly fading from me? Is he having second thoughts or should I just continue being patient with him with how \"busy\" he has gotten? -even if he has been just as busy before yet he still finds the time to communicate with me...", "summary": "We get intimate, thought it would bring us closer but I feel he is pulling away from me even if he has legit reasons to his lack of contact."} {"id": "t3_di2l0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My chihuahua wont stop shitting in my apartment.", "post": "Dear AskReddit,\n\n This problem has been going on for a while, and I decided I'd ask this fine community their opinion. \n\n I own a chihuahua mix that wont stop shitting all over my apartment while I'm gone. Regardless of whether I spend an hour or 5 minutes outside with him before I leave for school, I can always expect to come home to little milk-duds strewn all over my apartment.\n\n I'd venture to say he has abandonment issues since I adopted him from a shelter. When I come home all he wants to do is sleep on my lap, and when I have to leave him with other people he whines the entire time I'm gone. So it's got to be a situation of nerves.\n\n How can I stop this behavior? I can't catch him in the act since he only does it when I'm gone. The shortest time I've been gone when it has happened is around 30 minutes. \n\n Any suggestions would be appreciated.", "summary": "Chihuahua shits in apartment when I'm gone, looks like someone didn't clean the raisinettes spill in an empty movie theatre"} {"id": "t3_onw66", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Now we know what you know, but what is the darkest secret SOMEONE ELSE knows about YOU that makes you cringe knowing they do? I'll start.", "post": "This is pretty tame by comparison to some of the comments from the [first post,] but here it goes.\n\nFirst off, disclaimer: I'm a bi-curious guy who keeps a very straight persona, but is in no way homophobic or bigoted unlike a lot of the straight acting, gay bashing, closeted jerks that seem to keep coming up on here.\n \nSo, my gay friend and I went down to visit another friend of ours for his bachelor party and after a night of lots of drinking and partying we went back to the hotel room we were sharing. Once back and in separate beds I thought that because he was a good friend of mine and gay that I should tell him all about my homosexual encounters. I then proceeded to open up about how the night before I was in a threesome with a guy and his wife, blew the guy, loved it; I told him about the other times where I've blown two guys at once etc. (not intriguing enough by Reddit standards). Next morning, wake up, realize I probably didn't dream that drunken conversation last night and ask him how long we'd been chatting the night before and he responded, long enough for you to tell me you've deepthroated an 8\" inch cock. Now he'll occasionally send me texts asking how the dick sucking business is coming along.", "summary": "Got drunk, told gay friend I blow guys from time to time, he teases me for not being open about it."} {"id": "t3_yjzka", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "i need help on how to calmly approach my boyfriend and his drinking.", "post": "I(mid twenties f) have been with my boyfriend(also mid twenties) for a little under a year moved in with him a few months ago. We've always butt heads about his drinking but i feel like it's not getting any better, especially since we've moved in with his friend who has a drinking problem. I come from a long history of alcoholics and i don't want my past to become my future. I love him very much but feel that if he truly loved me he'd respect my feelings and control his drinking. It's never gotten out of hand but it doesn't make our arguments any easier either. And forget trying to resolve anything when he's like that i just get upset and he doesn't seem to think that i should be and then a fight ensues. I've tried talking to him before and he'd tone it down and then our next fight would happen and he'd just get drunk and change back to his old ways. I was hoping someone can give me tips on how to calmly talk to him about it because i've run out ways to do so. I love him very much and hope that he can understand how his drinking is becoming destructive to our relationship.", "summary": "my twentysomething year old boyfriend and i, also twentysomething, don't see eye to eye on his drinking, after a year, and it's tearing us apart."} {"id": "t3_4accky", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "What should I do if I'm interested in multiple careers?", "post": "I'll provide some context. I'm at that age to start looking for colleges and thinking about possible career paths. I'm interested in multiple things, so I can't quite say that I'm definitely going to do one thing for the rest of my life. I usually tell others that I'll go into engineering since I've been doing robotics for a while, but to be honest, I don't know if I'm that interested. I like cooking, music, art, and building things, but I fear that I'll be out done or out picked by those who just want to do one thing in their life.", "summary": "I'm a \"jack of all trades, master of none\" type of person, and I don't know what career to pursue."} {"id": "t3_2ngolq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my GF [19 F] of 3 months are currently discussing our relationship if I decide to transfer colleges.", "post": "I am in the process of looking and applying to schools with a major more suited to my interests. While discussing this with my girlfriend, we naturally discuss the situation of a long-distance relationship. \n\nShe had a long-distance relationship when she left high school, and said it lasted 2 months due to the difficulty. She also says she was raised being told by her mother that she should 'never be in a long distance relationship.'\n\nWhen I grew up my father traveled often, so I was 'raised' where my parents actually had a semi long-distance relationship. \n\nSome of the schools on my list are within reasonable driving distance from my perspective (<2 hours). It just seems like she is so afraid of 'long-distance', that she may not be interested in trying and I'm not even sure if/how it would work. That mindset hurts a lot, and is causing me to struggle in how to proceed with this whole ordeal.", "summary": "Looking at the possibility of a long-distance relationship, is it something that either parties should take 'convincing' to try."} {"id": "t3_3b76yo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] can't make any friendships. Rely solely on the support of my boyfriend [25M]", "post": "When I was a kid I had a big social circle. I was the smallest and youngest so I can remember being picked on a few times but I was by no means an outcast. In high school I had two close friends, a boyfriend, and typically anywhere from 5-10 friends who I would talk to daily. I was always saying hi to people in the halls, laughing, and getting along with almost everyone.\n\nI went to college and my life took a dark turn. I started drinking too much and met people who were pretty terrible that would treat me badly (encourage binge drinking -- just selfish people who wanted someone to party with). I gained 40lbs. I moved across the country after that year to get a fresh start. I lost the weight eventually, but I was alone in a new city by myself and I never really met any new friends at my new college because I was focused on school work and weight loss. I rushed for a sorority but it felt like a huge commitment that I couldn't take on. I just could never relate to anyone or bring the friendships past typical in-class chatting.\n\nNow I'm out of college and the only person that I have is my boyfriend who I started dating in about 1 year ago. We're really close and I see him almost everyday. I haven't gotten a job yet (still going on interviews), but when I do, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to make friends with my workmates. I just don't really know how to have friendships anymore. I try hanging out with my boyfriend's friends with him there but I get really nervous and don't know what to say because I don't want to come off as stupid.\n\nI know that I was outgoing and confident all throughout my childhood and into my teens, but I don't know where that went or how to get it back! I want to enjoy being around people again and form relationships.", "summary": "I used to be outgoing and surrounded by friends, after moving across the country for college and three years later, after graduating, my only friend is my boyfriend and I'm having trouble starting new friendships because I've lost my confidence."} {"id": "t3_3dwore", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [M 20] and my GF [F 19] of 1 yr started dating as Christians, I have recently lost my faith, and I know that she will break up with me if I'm not a Christian.", "post": "We have been absolutely inseparable since we met 2 years ago at college. We were best friends all of freshman year, and decided to start dating our sophomore year. It's been absolutely wonderful, and throughout it all I've always considered myself a Christian, even if it was on a lesser scale than her faith. \n\nThere would be times where she would break down in tears about how we never read the Bible together or how she didn't feel that she was growing in Christ, and so on, and I would sincerely feel awful and try to be a better Christian.\n\nSo this past summer we are studying abroad in different countries, and at the beginning we would use the summer apart to \"find ourselves\" spiritually. It's been weird having conversations about (lack of) faith over skype and stuff, so we've kinda ignored it. Her faith has stayed the same, while I've pretty much confirmed that I'm agnostic. \n\nI need to tell her at some point, but it's so hard. She's been my best friend for two years, and one of only a couple friends I have at college. It will be a very lonely semester if I decide to tell her.", "summary": "My GF and I will most likely break up if I tell her I'm not a Christian, and this will destroy my social circle, as most of my friends I met through her. I don't know how to handle this."} {"id": "t3_t300c", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "\"If you weren't so far away, I'd come and make you cheat on your boyfriend.\" Reddit, dafuq do I say to my good friend who sent me that? Anyone else deal with buddies who want more when they know you're taken?", "post": "So my buddy and I have always had some sexual undertones to our friendship. Like, if he wasn't seeing this girl in the past, we'd have banged. But I don't touch taken men, so it was a non-issue. Then, recently, I got into a relationship with another friend, and I'm pretty happy with it. \n\nThing is, Dude A also recently broke up with his woman. And ever since the split, he's started sending me more and more inappropriate texts. Things like, \"I wanna get drunk and make out.\" I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so I'd just joke back like \"Eww, cooties! Hahah,\" and stuff. But tonight, out of the blue, he texted me, \"If your university wasn't so far out of the way, I'd come through there and make you cheat on your boyfriend.\" No way can I twist that into a joke.\n\nI don't know what (if anything) to say back. Fact is, he's one of my good friends. I really enjoy having him in my life. But I really like my boyfriend, and these advances are making me uncomfortable. He knows I'm spoken for, so it boggles my mind how forward he's being. How can I talk to him about this while keeping our friendship intact?", "summary": "Good friend wants to bang but knows I have a boyfriend. What do I say to keep our friendship but stop his sexual advances? Also, anyone else have situations like this? How'd you handle it?"} {"id": "t3_3q1k58", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My mother [43/F] is fucking a dude younger than me [24/M] next to my room.", "post": "My mother, a 43 year old found a new toyboy and she's basically fucking him in her room. \n\nI'm a student at the moment so I thought staying with my mother would make more sense since it saves money but I have the finances and a job to support myself.\n\nThe whole situation is traumatizing for me. I'm 25 years old, male, and this is the first time my mother has done something like that. I have NOTHING against her screwing other dudes, however the guy is not only almost 20 years younger then her but she did it literally a few meters away from me.\n\nAll I could hear in the morning was \"mhhhmmm ohhhhh mhhh\". This shit is really fucking up my psyche. \n\nI'm considering speaking to my mother, letting her know what I think and moving out. \n\nI want your honest help on this. Thank you", "summary": "Mother fucking guy almost 20 years younger then her in the room next to mine. Really traumatizing. I live with her to save money but I'm considering moving out. Dude is actually younger than me. Need help."} {"id": "t3_50736d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [21/F] ask my boyfriend [24/M] to text me more without seeming clingy/crazy?", "post": "So I think the clue is in the title here. I've been with my boyfriend for a month now, and things are generally really good. We have fun when we're together, he's caring, and I can really see this going somewhere.\n\nHowever, the only problem is that he is an appalling texter. He either takes hours and hours to reply, or just doesn't reply at all. This has included texts trying to make plans to see him, direct questions, or even just trivial how's-your-day-going texts. I know it's not just me he's like this with- he's a terrible texter to everyone. But it's starting to upset and worry me a little bit. We basically don't communicate outside of the days we see each other (2/3 times a week), and circumstances mean that as of next month we'll probably see each other less. It kind of feels like I only really have a boyfriend when he's physically present, and since that'll be happening less, I worry about what that means for the relationship. I don't want him to text me a running commentary of his life, 24/7- just a text every day or so talking about our days and generally catching up would be nice. I know this probably has something (a lot) to do with my underlying anxiety and depression, but it feels like he doesn't care about me enough to want to text me.\n\nSo, reddit, I ask- how can I communicate this without coming across as overly needy or clingy?", "summary": "Boyfriend is an awful texter- how can I tell him that I'd like more communication without seeming clingy or needy?"} {"id": "t3_2h01ja", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [34F] with my BF[37 M] of 1 year, BF with anxiety & depression thinks of me as a best friend and not a romantic partner", "post": "He's a wonderful, caring guy and everything in our relationship is perfect - except the most important part - he isn't excited about us.\n\nHe has been suffering from depression and anxiety for ~12 years and so his general disposition is one of depression. He feels numb about most things. Either something is \"ok\" or \"not ok\", nothing is ever great. He is always stressed about work - he works in a demanding field as a researcher. The smallest of things stress him out. For example, a work email that he has to reply to or a letter from the IRS - things that normal people consider as mere stuff that needs to get done, turns out to be a huge stress issue for him.\n\nHe cares for me a lot and is the best boyfriend I have ever had. The only problem is that he doesn't feel for me as a romantic partner. He won't care if I dump him tomorrow and find someone else because he just wants me to be happy. I love him but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't really want me. \n\nWhat should I do? He has promised to look into therapy but I wonder if that's going to solve this. Should I move on?", "summary": "BF suffers from anxiety and depression. He is very caring but not excited about us. The problem is that he is not excited about anything, not just our relationship. Should I leave or should I stay?"} {"id": "t3_4e61wz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28F] with guy from my fitness class who I've had a crush on for a while [29 M] matched on Tinder", "post": "Hi reddit.\n\n2 weeks ago, I was Tinder matched with this guy from my fitness class. At first I was pretty glad because I have been crushing on him for months. He would always look over at me and was generally around me in the class. We talked a little bit in the app, and then we met in class and talked about twice. Nothing happened, and like I said, it was all just friendly conversation but, I am really attracted to him and would like to get to know him better. The way I left it was that I would see him around in class. I did not want to ask him out or give him my number because I don't want to pressure him.\n\nHe was not in all last week and when I went this last Monday, he was not there either. He did say that sometimes he attends the later class but, I cannot help but feel that he might avoiding me. He is quite shy though. I have never really seen him talk to anyone else in class before. He just kind of stood there before class starts and never spoke to anyone. I'm not sure what to do but I feel slightly embarrassed. Not sure what to do. We're still matched on the app, by the way, but he has not initiated any contact or even asked for my number.", "summary": "Tinder matched with a guy in my class, talked a few times, and now he is gone. Not sure if he's avoiding me and what I should do when and if he shows up again."} {"id": "t3_1d541a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(22 f) would like to be less attached to my fiancee (30 m)", "post": "We have been together for about 2 years and have a 9 month old baby together. And I'm not a needy person at all but I feel like I get no attention from my SO and he is not attracted to me any more. I'm a stay at home parent so I don't get out of the house much I also have no friends since I moved country to be with him. So I think it's more my problem than his.\n\n I never see anybody so when he comes home from work I am excited to see him but I basically get nothing. I have talked to him about it he agrees with me, he says I'm not unreasonable but he never follows through. He says there is never time because of the baby but that only applies for sex which he thinks is what i mean when i bring up the subject but I always tell him it is not and explain it's the small things and then go into detail. He says he's not stressed either and he is really happy with his job. He is a great dad and we hardly ever fight, he helps me out if I ask so all is well. It's just that I feel like I'm wasting my time every time our daughter has gone to sleep or we're alone. \n\nWhat's worse, I have mentioned it so much I'm sick of bringing it up again so recently I've started pouting and generally feeling like crap. If he does cuddle or anything it just feels so manufactured. It is like an addiction. I try to spend time with him but end up feeling guilt since I could have done something else instead like my course work as I feel my time is valuable since the baby takes up almost all of it and let him unwind on his own which I think he prefers. I've read from other posts that you should just start having your own life, getting hobbies etc. But I just can't help myself trying to be with him as I'm so excited when we happen to be alone.", "summary": "I need help or just insight on how to be more detached from my fiance so I could start doing things I like instead of following him around the house"} {"id": "t3_39qttm", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by putting pickles in the fridge", "post": "Happened last night.\n\nMy girlfriend asked me to put the jar of pickles away as we are getting ready for bed. So I pick up the jar, close it and carry it to the fridge. I open the fridge door, go to put the pickle jar on the door and the bottom of the jar hits the guard, jar slips from my hand, hits the ground and shatters. Glass goes flying into my left big toe, some how making a deep cut on the inside, near the webbing and a couple of scrapes ontop of the toe and on the knuckle of my toe. Girlfriend said she's putting the pickles away from now on.", "summary": "Went to put jar of pickles in the fridge, the jar slips and shatters, sending glass into my toe."} {"id": "t3_2l3lje", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] and my Girlfriend [21 F] of 3 years, might be going our separate ways.", "post": "We started dating senior year of high school, went to the same college and took several classes together, until our majors went different directions. We live together in her room at her parents house and its fun. Her family loves me and we have 2 cats and a dog. \n \nThe past few weeks have been different. She just turned 21 and i'm still 20. I have no problems when she goes out, I don't own her; she can do what she wants. \n\nI first noticed things change when she turned 21, she been a grouch recently. She doesn't tell me how her day was anymore or if anything exciting happened in it. She claims to still love me, but when I ask her whats wrong she says \"i'm in a bad mood.\" She can't tell me why though... I only find out exciting things when she and I are hanging out with her friends and it comes up. It's a low blow. \n\nAnyway, it seems like anything I do makes her angry. She has become a lot more selfish in the past weeks then I recall over the past 3 years. \n\nWe just went out this past weekend to dinner and movies and it didn't feel right. It's like she a completely different person. She also eats like a 'champ' and doesn't seem to care what she looked like with me anymore. For example this week she just wore sweatpants and and a sweatshirt...\n\nToday I'm at my house because I couldn't handle it anymore. The fight started because I've been hanging out with her brother and we decided to build gaming computers together. She is so against me getting one unless its a iMAC.. After trying to convince her I'm going to be using this computer the most, its only fair I get a decent gaming computer. She just got up and left, mind you not she did this last Sunday.\n\nHer parents are finally taking her to her birthday dinner But, today's my brothers birthday dinner.", "summary": "Girlfriend is being more selfish and less caring after 21st B-day, her B-day dinner tonight and my brothers is tonight as well."} {"id": "t3_3pgepl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25M] found out that I carry a trait for a certain condition. My GF [23F] carries it too. 25% chance kids will have the condition. Should I breakup?", "post": "Ages have been changed. Throwaway. Together for 3 years.\n\nWe're both south-asian and both have been confirmed to carry the beta thalassemia trait. Basically, if we were to have children, there's a 25% chance one of them might end up with Thalassemia Major, and that is something I would never wish on a child, let alone anyone.\n\nMy GF is very go lucky, caring and loving. She's the type who takes care of the sick, elderly, and I know she could handle a sick child. I'm not like that. I would never be able to forgive myself if I brought a sick child into this world knowing that I could have done something to prevent it (basically, not staying with my GF). The thing is, it's a 25% chance, but I can just imagine that down the road, if we were to have kids, those pregnancies would be even more stressful for me. \n\nAt the same time, I really love my GF and she loves me. We both see us together down the road. We both want kids. I would feel stupid breaking up over a 25% probability. At the same time, we do want 3 kids tops, so the chances go up. If that probability to came true, it would be devastating to me personally. \n\nI feel like I'm in a rut. I know I need to have this conversation with my GF. At the moment, she doesn't seem so bothered by it at all, but it's eating away at me. Should I break up with her now? Are there any other avenues or options to explore? I feel like we might have hit a crossroad, and it's killing me.", "summary": "GF and I carry same trait for condition. 25% chance kids will have disease. Would feel guilty if that happened. Breakup over 25%?"} {"id": "t3_2j4ef5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Not sure about dating etiquette for me [22F] after a really bad break up. When is it appropriate to move on?", "post": "The details of my previous relationship are on a separate post, but in brief my ex, a thirty four year old ex con single dad (how could it go wrong?!) took me for a ride and I accidentally found out a month after I stopped all contact (following a miscarriage and finding out I had HPV among other things) that he's currently grooming a sixteen year old girl. In short, I rebounded from an emotionally abusive ex [22M] to that charmer.\n\nI've had enough breathing space to excise some of my demons, certainly enough to know it'll take time on my own to figure things out. The break up was in July, and since then I've been invited out on a couple of dates in the last few weeks, and it's gotten me thinking. I set myself a rough target of not entering anything romantically exclusive until at least next year to make sure I have some distance, but I don't know what happens from there.\n\nI feel like I owe it to anyone I would be entering a relationship with at the very least to talk about the HPV. I don't know how I'd feel when entering a relationship, but I know I'm certainly afraid of hurting someone else if being intimate drags out any emotional damage I've had from the last few years. My problem is I don't really know what's appropriate to bring up or when. \n\nLearning to trust myself and someone else feels like one thing, but I wouldn't want to start anything new with either secrecy or horror stories. How is any of that even brought up? I don't want to feel like a social recluse or 'damaged goods', but I hardly want to turn any new person in my life into a therapist.", "summary": "After a very messy romantic past and HPV, when is it appropriate to move on and/or bring up such things, if ever?"} {"id": "t3_39jl01", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[16/m]My Girlfriend [16/f] has a Girlfriend!", "post": "I have been seeing a girl for the past month, and we are official to a certain extent. Specifically, we refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend and on previous occasions she has made mention as to how I am \"hers\". However, on our second date, she let me know that she does in fact have a girlfriend who lives about 40 miles away. She said that they were \"in love\" yet she could \"still develop deep feelings for [me]\". However, things have come to a head for me this past week, as she has taken off for the entire week to be with that girl. Furthermore, she has made a big show of sending me pictures of them together, some where that girl has her hands all over my girlfriend. In the end, I suppose I feel cheated on. I am reasonably sure that an ultimatum would be fruitless, as she'd just choose the girl. Any advice would be incredibly appreciated.", "summary": "My girlfriend has a girlfriend, they sent me pictures of them together. I was put on the phone with the Jelly School."} {"id": "t3_3n4juy", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "I'm being blamed for something I 100% didn't even do..", "post": "Okay, to start I am a 19y/o female who works 9-5 M-F. I was recently informed by my boyfriend that someone unlocked their garage door and home early Monday morning. BUT here is where it gets weird. My boyfriends parent's next door neighbor (who is a little girl, around like 10y/o) comes over and hangs out all the time at the house and garage. They suspected she got a hold of the code (its not like a regular key unlock, its a pass code setup) and got into the house and garage, but never locked it after. When they confronted her about it she blamed it on me and said I was the one at the house that day.. But as I stated above, I work Monday to Friday, 9-5. I was definitely not at the house that day because I work in town which is about 30 minutes away.. \nHis parents confronted me about it and I told them the truth and that I was not anywhere near the house that day nor do I know the pass code to unlock the doors. The only reason I'm asking for advice though is because his parents went back to the little girl, to see if she would own up to it and she blamed it on me again?! I am truthfully upset and kind of angry she would blame it on me, but what should I do? It also kind of upset me that his parents would even think to accuse me.", "summary": "Got blamed by a 10/yo that I broke into my boyfriends house and definitely did not, how do I deal with this?"} {"id": "t3_1e8ls3", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How can I (19M) keep my relationship alive with my (17F) girlfriend?", "post": "When my girlfriend and I got together, it felt like it was a match made in heaven. We were perfect for each other. It lasted that way for a good 4 months, then I went away to college, and it lasted another 2. Being in the college environment, and being an adolescent boy, I felt a bit trapped, so I wanted to end it. After a very short period, I regretted the decision. Incredibly so. So we started talking again and eventually got back together after a few weeks of reconnecting.\n\nAnother part of my college experience is that I was doing D1 crew at an already academically rigorous college. This was a lot of stress for me. And it started to pile on. I told her all of this, but still I was overwhelmed. And I started to focus too much on my own stress and started to become self-centered. As a result the relationship began to fall through the cracks. So much so that by the end of the year, my girlfriend basically is at the point where she is close to ending it.\n\nSchool is out now, and I still love her. A lot. I don't think I've ever felt this way about another person before. But in order to avoid getting hurt any further she has recently tried to distance herself emotionally from me. I want to get her to fall back in love with me, because I know I want more than anything to repair this. We are going to separate colleges after this summer, but I still want to try to make this work. Also I am not rowing next year, partially because I know I can't handle a relationship, but also because I can't handle college and D1 crew. Help me please? Thank you.", "summary": "When I went off to college I let the distance fuck up a relationship with a girl who is perfect for me, now I am asking advice on how to repair our damaged relationship"} {"id": "t3_1w8zdu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ex [20 F] broke up with me [22 M] after 2 years, need some advice", "post": "Hi Reddit!\n\nSo about a few weeks ago, my girlfriend of over two years dropped a bombshell on me and broke up. Her reasoning she told me was that we were moving too fast and that she felt that she wasn't into the relationship anymore. She felt that we weren't being being friends anymore. We lived together for about a year and everything seemed to be fine. No fighting, barely any arguments and she seemed happy.\n\nI personally took it pretty hard because I have never had anyone break up with me. This was the longest relationship I have ever had and just feel pretty crappy right now. I moved over 500 miles away from my family for school (I met my ex 2 years ago at school) and now I feel so alone out here. I have a few friends out here, but it's still tough. \n\nWe really haven't spoken to each other that much because she wants to be friends and I'm not comfortable with that right now. We talked a little bit a few days ago and she still wants to be friends.\n\nSo overall, I just need some advice on all this. Sleep hasn't been a problem, but eating has been a problem. Will that eventually go away?", "summary": "GF of two years broke up with me a few weeks ago because she felt we lost track of being friends. I haven't had anyone breakup with me before. Need some advice on how to feel better."} {"id": "t3_1j17pw", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Having problems [21M] committing to a relationship w/ [19F]", "post": "A girl I casually knew from high school recently returned from a far away college after her first semester and is now planning on returning to school in town for a while. We started hanging out at the beginning of summer and have spent most of our time of the past two months together. Our relationship thus far has had a more than friends understanding but we have connected on intimate friendship levels, to a large extent because we are both coming out of difficult times and connected through being able to relate with each other because of that. I know that I have a tendency to close up in relationship because of a fear of intimacy, and I know she has some similar commitment related issues but we are pretty open and honest with each other as we each work through our own baggage. As if recently, I have been feeling afraid and cornered, kind of buckling underneath the pressure of being her boyfriend. We have a similar understanding that the title means nothing and that the relationship itself is what's to value but I can't help but be swayed by what I see are obligations. This mindset, I feel, is pushing us apart as friends and may have the power to let the relationship crumble as well. I believe I am ready to step up to the plate and allow myself to take it as it comes but I have it in the back of my mind that I should end it now because that would be easier, and potentially less painful. I can see how these thoughts are having an effect in our relationship and I'm internally panicking because I feel like I should be above this, plus, I hate being on the receiving end of this kind of thing so I can't imagine how much this sucks for her. My last relationship was a long time ago but left me pretty crippled, I'm still afraid if getting back out there. How can I rise to the occasion and be courageous to decide to move forward in a relationship with this girl that I believe I would never do better than, breaking up with her would leave me regretting it immensely.", "summary": "How do I not mess a up a good thing in a budding relationship? How do I confront intimacy and commitment issues?"} {"id": "t3_1y2fcn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (19/M) am not sure how to handle an \"open relationship\" with my friend (17/F)", "post": "Basically I've been intimate with a friend9(17/F) of mine for a few months now. It's been nothing official and we've established that her and I shouldn't date right now because she's not ready for a committed relationship. \n\nHowever it feels like there's something more. We do alot of romantic stuff with each other, and have gotten really personal with one another. More than just a typical \"friends with benefits\" relationship. She has shared with me recently that she might be in love with me.\n\nNow while I think this is great news, the conflict that comes up is there is another guy (18/M) that she likes, who is a somewhat good friend of mine. I knew they liked each other, but I didn't know they actually did anything until last night, where I found out she and my friend have also done intimate things with each other.\n\nSo what I'm left with here now is the question should I confront her about it? Try to ignore it? Break this off? I've told her that I respect her right to be happy with other people before, but it still hurts alot even though we aren't committed.", "summary": "In open relationship with girl, found out she's doing things with a friend of mine, not sure how to react now."} {"id": "t3_323psz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Ex [18F] who is in the same social group is causing me [18M] a lot of pain", "post": "So my ex and I, let's call her Jane, broke up a 8 month relationship 4 months ago. We were and are still in the same social group. She gave me a lot of reasons e.g. she wasn't ready for a relationship, I was too intense et cetera. I was in denial until one day when our mutual friend told me that she broke up with me because she lost the love for me.\n\nI didn't communicate with her for 3 months until the end of March when I apologised over message for pressuring her for a reason as to why she broke up with me and she sent me a pretty insincere and short message back saying that she was sorry and acknowledged that we could be friends in the future after I brought it up. \n\nI thought that we could at least begin fixing the relationship so that we could at least be comfortable around each other but she proved me wrong. She's still extremely hostile towards me, even talking about dating other guy's right in front of me. \n\nI don't see what went wrong. I feel like she's gonna push me out of the social group if I don't take a more aggressive stance on the matter. Seeing her messages on the group chat that we have is already too painful. I'm thinking about leaving the group but I don't want to lose my friends and its pretty much the only group the either of us have. How do I go about this? Its becoming such a pain to me.", "summary": "Ex and I are in the same social group. Can't deal with the pain of constantly seeing her and dealing with her attitude."} {"id": "t3_3gioav", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my friend[20 M] I feel bitter...", "post": "My friend quit his job and soon will be moving to a different state. I met him at work two years ago and we became really close friend. On the day he was going to quit he sent our group chat a message, \"I'm quitting today.\" I called him, he did not picked up. I sent our group chat a message, \"your quitting today? why all of a sudden?.\" He did not reply to my question. 2 hours later he called me, \"did you call?\" I was irritated, I put my masked to not show my emotion on the call and asked I asked him about it, he told the the story and so on...(portion of his story felt like a lie) but on that day, I found out on our raidcall that he called someone else before he sent that text on our group chat that he was going to quit that day, I had never felt so bitter before, I wanted to cry, I felt jealous and untrustworthy. In my head he must have his reasons, but lately his been MIA and i feel like his cutting me off. I just hope his not going to leave without saying anything. I'm an introvert, I had been wanting to talk to him but I'm not sure how to approach it.", "summary": "My best friend didn't tell me shit, I feel bitter. I want to talk to him but it feels like his cutting me off, his been MIA lately."} {"id": "t3_2xvb50", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (30M) GF (33F) and I have been dating for one month and she's already using words like \"indefinitely\" and \"forever\" ...", "post": "So, I'll preface this by saying - I really, really like my GF. She takes really good care of me, she is smart and has a great sense of humor, she is super attractive, and we share similar views on all of the important things.\n\n... We've only been dating for a month. Granted, things have moved pretty quickly to begin with (we've spent maybe 2 nights apart), but the thing is ... I'm just not like super duper in love with her (yet). I've had my heart broken before and I'm just not ready to dive into this until I'm totally ready.\n\nOver the last week, she has said something like \"I can see this being a forever thing\" and \"this is it. I am totally signed up for this.\" several times. I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm totally unwilling to make similar declarations because it's way too soon for me to know that kind of thing.\n\nIs this like a huge red flag? Or is it just kind of harmless puppy love that's making her say things like this? I'm really not sure how to proceed, because she does not give off ANY \"crazy\" vibes at all. She's very smart, has her own career (and comes from a lot of money), has tons of friends, and is just generally really well put-together. Also, could it just be that her biological clock is ticking or something? I have no idea about these sorts of things.", "summary": "My new GF is making lots of veiled comments about super long-term commitment, and I'm just not anywhere close to ready to make similar statements. Is this a red flag?"} {"id": "t3_e4378", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Recently single (after 4 years) and not sure how to approach things. Are there any rules/norms as far as dating goes?", "post": "27m, just got back into the field after a four year relationship, got a girl's number and will probably be going out tomorrow night for a movie and drinks. I don't know how it will go yet and I'm still not really ready for a committed relationship but figure this would help me get over my ex and who knows how things will turn out (maybe this girl will be amazing :) ).\n\nAre there any rules or things I should follow as far as meeting other girls too (if the chemistry is just so so)? Is it wrong to date multiple girls at the same time provided you never lie to anyone of them (at most equivocate and not say that you are)?\n\nHow exactly do you go about casual dating? I've always been a little apprehensive because I feel like if we have a good time then its supposed to lead to more serious dating and eventually a relationship. Am I overthinking it all and should instead go out and have a good time and just go with the flow?", "summary": "27m back on the market and isn't sure how to approach casual dating since he's used to serious relationships. Also never had a problem meeting/talking to girls and getting dates, but not looking to hurt anyone with false hopes."} {"id": "t3_2t6oub", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by playing with firecrackers.", "post": "This was quite a few years ago but regardless here's my story.\n\nMe and my stepbrother had just gotten a gift from his grandpa, firecrackers! His grandpa lives in Florida so every time he comes to visit us in Ontario he brings us firecrackers, 200 each to be exact. All excited and giddy me and my stepbrother skip hanging out with our grandpa and decide to hit the park with a lighter and the firecrackers. We used these things on everything that we possibly could have, things got boring and we decided to head home. \n\nFast forward to around 5:00 PM, nobody is home and the internet cuts out, but lucky for us we have the firecrackers. Stupid me comes up with a great idea to light the firecracker in the house. In a panic my stepbrother grabs it from me dashes to the bathroom and drops it in the toilet thinking the fuse would go out (These firecrackers were waterproof). After we watch it sink to the bottom of the bowl, BOOM! Water to the ceiling and the bottom part under the toilet gets a big chunk of porcelain blown out of it. \n\nStepdad hears it from outside and came running in only to see us two morons have blown up the custom toilet he had ordered not even a year ago. Needless to say we learned our lesson from having to pay for the toilet.", "summary": "Threw a firecracker in my stepdads $300 toilet and blew a hole in the back of it."} {"id": "t3_g5eet", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm creating a comprehensive list of terrible office small talk. What's your least favorite thing people say when trying to make small talk?", "post": "Here's the scenario: I've found myself in a new position in an office job. Being the new guy I've found that I have very little to talk to people about. Enter the terrible small talk. I like to take things that other people say and use them inappropriately or in the wrong context. For example, I heard \"At least it's not Monday!\" on a Tuesday probably 10 times yesterday. I like to take that phrase and say it on a Friday. Or also saying \"At least it's not Friday!\" on a Monday. I can't explain it, but this makes me incredibly happy.\n\nI have various categories ranging from the day of the week, time of the day, weather, upcoming holidays, etc. I have about 70 entries right now, but I know there is so much more awful small talk out there that I'm missing out on.", "summary": "I like extremely cheesy bad small talk, and I'm building a comprehensive list. What small talk phrases drive you crazy?"} {"id": "t3_gz8vh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What the fuck is love?", "post": "My parents divorced when I was 4 yrs old. Never seeing a first hand example of a relationship between two adults, I discovered I don't know how to **behave in relationships**. \n\nI've been in a couple of long-term serious relationships -- 2 years and 4 years, they happened back to back. I've been single for nearly two years.\n\nAt the time I thought I was in love, but in retrospect, I have begun to question the verity of my experiences (don't get me wrong they were great people and still are). \n\nI'm at a good place in my life, graduating college, have a job lined up. But quite frankly, I don't think I ever want to be serious with someone again. I'm not saying that out of spite or bitterness either. \n\nI may not know what love is, but I certainly know what love is not: **Love is not fear**. \n\nI see my friends falling away from me, one at a time, deeper into their relationships. When I do see these friends they bitch and moan about how they are unhappy. You can only tell an unhappy friend so many times, \"happiness comes from within, not from another individual\" before you want to scream, \"you need to dump that bitch and work on you!\" \n\nBut of course I don't say the later because I know these people are terrified of being alone, of having to face the world alone. No matter what I say they will eventually marry (if not married already) and eventually divorce. \n\nOften times I'll hear things like: \"A life without the experience of love, is a life not worth living.\" or something similar. But why is this? Why should love be a part of our lives? **What the fuck is love?", "summary": "Told a little bit about myself, ranted about whipped friends, and asked the question: \"What is love?\""} {"id": "t3_qad0q", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Asking out a friend, who is not exactly friendzone?", "post": "I am absolutely horrible at the dating scene, I get to the point where we are about to be official and then they get upset that I have a female bestfriend, (I am a male, and yes this female and I dated a shit long time ago, but realized we liked being friends better), and they tell me stop talking to them ever again if I am still friends with her. But I am friends with a girl who I never \"talked\" to in that capacity considering we were never terribly close and she always had boyfriends; except until recently. She is now a girl I talk to multiple times a week, and no longer has a boyfriend, and I no longer have a girlfriend. I am starting to think I might want to ask her on a date as more then a friend, any tips on how?", "summary": "Suck at dating, know a Girl, friends not friendzone, how to ask on date as more then a friend?"} {"id": "t3_1xdsdf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my BF [31 M] of 3 years always fighting", "post": "It's hard to tell the story because it's such a diffuse issue. But basically we get into spats a lot. He gets really pissed off when I raise my voice but I usually only raise my voice in response to him stone-walling or cutting me off or condescending to me in an argument. His almost automatic response is to shut down even though he starts an issue and will always take a day or two to be silent and process it, which drives me insane. You could say I'm one of those \"quick recover\" people who can be insanely angry in the moment but quickly cools off. Regardless, I'd say we're both fiery people.\n\nAnyway, I'm starting to feel like this is a really dysfunctional dynamic that we have. I know and believe that relationships are hard work and compromise but then other people always tell me that there should just be that understanding as well and that hard work doesn't equal fights. Any advice/insight would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "Is it \"normal\" to get into big blowups everyone once in a while? Or does it mean that we're just not right for each other?"} {"id": "t3_j3wat", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My employer just installed Remote Assistance software on our computers so they can monitor our internet & computer habits. Is this legal?", "post": "Title pretty much speaks for itself here. \n\nI work a small office based job with a few other people and recently we were forced to sign a document which allows them to monitor or control anything we do on our computers, i.e check internet habits, browse files, log keys-strokes, etc.\n\nOur office is based in such a location that we don't work along side any managers, we are more or less assisted over the phone and trusted to do our jobs correctly and not waste time. So far there has never been any reason to believe we are not doing our jobs correctly.\n\nI came into work just today and was advised by a colleague that two members of the company visited without notifying us and installed some \"program\". A quick glance at the task bar revealed it was LogMeIn. While this program is quite commonly used to **remote-assist** people, I was unaware its other use was to **remote-spy**.\n\nMy question is, despite signing the paperwork which virtually consents to being spied on, is this level of computer monitoring still legal? I don't know this area of the law very well at all, but I can't help but feel like any privacy I had has been breached.\n\nFor the record, I am also based in Australia, so privacy laws may vary here.", "summary": "My employer installed remote assistance software, \"LogMeIn\", on our work computers without notifying us of such a program just to spy on us. Is this legal?"} {"id": "t3_2upb88", "subreddit": "self", "title": "I'm female with the emotional range of a robot and I can't change it.", "post": "One of my friends said something today that kind of affected me more than it should have. We were making fun of each other and I jokingly said 'I'm sorry' after dealing a sick burn. He replied with 'You're not sorry, it's not a part of your programming' and then added 'neither are emotions in general'. He meant it as a joke of course but it got me thinking and I can really see where he's coming from. \n\nI often hide my emotions to avoid conflict. I often find drama and petty arguments boring and don't tend to get emotionally invested in them, along with most things in general. I have shows that I love to watch but I've never 'fangirled' or freaked out over something fictional. I have passions, like science and my degree, but I don't like to explain to people *why* I like it so much, because it either takes too much effort to explain or I just can't get the words out right.\n\nThat being said, I'm not exactly boring/sad/apathetic, I'm actually quite an optimistic person and I like it when the people I care about are happy. It's just that I can't express that I care for them, I don't really know how to explain it. I *feel* emotions, but I have trouble expressing them.\n\nI think the problem stems from a past relationship I was in. I used to be a really emotionally open person, but I got pretty badly messed up due to emotional abuse etc. I'm over the relationship now and ready to move on but I still feel like not being able to express myself has taken it's toll on me.\n\nThe issue, and why I've posted this, is that I'm kind of dating someone at the moment. Not officially, but he's asked me out on a date and we've both made it very obvious that we like each other. He was there when the robot joke was made and I feel like maybe that's not the kind of image I want to be sending to someone who could potentially be in a relationship with me. I'm not really sure what to do, if I should just try and embrace my robot tendencies or try and develop my emotional openness again.", "summary": "I have trouble expressing my emotions, I'm going on a date with a guy, I don't want to have trouble expressing my emotions and I don't know how I can change it."} {"id": "t3_324syp", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU the last six months of my life", "post": "Warning: big wall of text coming. \n\nHi. Call me Joe.\n\nTo clarify the title, I didn't mess up the final six months of my life ( at least I hope not) but the six months preceding this one, so no worries! \n\nI'm an 18 y/o German dude who lived in France until I finished school and moved out, 6 months ago.\n\nI set out to study engineering in Germany but I didn't move out too far to go see my girlfriend and parents often. That was in mid-October. \n\nNow for the fuck-up: i didn't go to any of the lectures in those six months, save for one in the second week. I didn't go to my exams. Pretty much never left my apartment, slept ridiculous amounts of time and played video games. Lost crazy weight because I didn't eat very much, barely stayed clean and generally took very little care of myself. It just sorta happened.\n\nThat's the first part of the fuckup. In the second part, I lied to everyone I care about ( parents, my 3 older siblings, my girlfriend, my friends, my extended family, girlfriends parents). They had no idea. That's by far the bigger one of the two. \n\nMy conscience finally caught up to me this week so I told my brother, some friends and my girlfriend the truth. Generally speaking those were six long shitty months filled with regret and self-loathing. The worst part was seeing my girlfriend cry today when I told her the truth. \n\nReddit, I fucked up very impressively, arguably the most in my life, the last few months. I'll confess to my parents and the rest of those I lied to in the following days /weeks, depending when I next see them. Whatever I got coming, I deserve it. That's all on me. \n\nSorry for taking your time like that and thanks for reading.", "summary": "18 y/o, moved out to uni. Didn't go to class or go to exams, lied to everyone I care about it. Regret. Am now spilling the beans."} {"id": "t3_yz7j3", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[18/m] not sure if I'm ready for a mature relationship (20/f).", "post": "I'll cut to the chase to simplify things: I know this great girl (20/f). Our personalities complement each other's beautifully and I know for a fact that she is interested in me. \n\nProblem is that I'm not sure if I'm sexually attracted to her. She's slightly overweight, something I've never been socialized to find attractive unfortunately. I do believe that if we were to get serious, we would have a great sexual relationship, but she's not what I think of when I epitomize sexual attractiveness. I'm heading off to college and know that I could get with much more typically \"hot\" girls (I know I'm immature at this point, I'm only 18), which is something I could be longing for were I to get in a relationship with this girl. Any perspectives you could offer? Were I a few years older and already had many experiences, this probably wouldn't be as big of a problem. I can feel though that I'm afraid of \"missing out.\"", "summary": "Amazing (20/f) I could get in relationship with, afraid of feeling like I'm \"missing out\" with more objectively \"hot\" girls. I know I'm incredibily immature about this."} {"id": "t3_hp24e", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Mac versus PC: The Great Debate!", "post": "Reddit, I need your opinion on which is a better computer--I am saving to buy my own laptop and would like to know where my money would be better spent!", "summary": "I need a computer and I want the best quality/bang for your buck -- not something that will crap out on me to where I will have to purchase a new one in a few years. Help me out, reddit! :)"} {"id": "t3_2ez64n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend [20] of a couple months has no time for me [18 f] anymore", "post": "I'll try to keep this as concise as possible, as relationship problems often involve anything and everything you've ever done together. But a little background, My boyfriend and I have been crushin' on each other pretty heavily throughout high school. Things started up for us near the beginning of the summer, some...unfortunate things happened, but we're back together for good now and really in love. \n\nUnfortunately, he also started a new job as a waiter and he works from the afternoon late into the night about five days a week (including everyday of this weekend :-( ). On top of that he is starting nursing school after not having gone to school for a year, which takes up the better part of every weekday. \n\nObviously these are huge changes and take up tons of time for him, which causes a lot of stress. So not only does he really not have any time to spend with me (when he's not working or at school he's studying), but he is also very irritable these days. He really doesn't make me feel very loved. I don't think I'm very hard to please, but he doesn't even do any of the 'little things' that make people happy. In fact, he's almost always upset and closed off. But I am reasonably understanding about this because I know what immense pressure he's under. \n\nI offer all that I can to help him with this. I drive us everywhere, pay for most things, help him study, and am here for him to talk to whenever he needs it. I just don't know if I can take much more of this. I absolutely love the hell out of him but I have to force myself into his schedule, always to his reluctance, and sit around and watch him in complete overloaded misery. We don't go out anymore, we barely ever do any fun things, and to be honest it's just hard to be happy around him anymore. And it's going to be like this for the rest of the year", "summary": "My boyfriend is going through some very stressful life changes and has no time or love to give me anymore. How can I be supportive and understanding while also being happy?"} {"id": "t3_4dzwce", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 18, with my parents 68, got my nose pierced now they think I am a horrible disrespectful person/.", "post": "So for starters I am adopted by my great aunt and uncle who are well into their sixties. I have two older siblings and my biological mother who isn't the greatest person. For people of their generation they are very liberal in some areas but not so much in others such as piercings, hair color, and tattoos. They consider them to be wrong I guess. Regardless 3/4 of their kids are tatted and they got over it. Today after years of wanting a nose piercing I went for it and I didn't expect this reaction to it.\n \nFor starters, they made it extremely clear that I was a huge disappointment, disrespectful, and rude. It threw me off as I knew they wouldn't be thrilled but not this pissed. They preceded to say that this piercing was a dagger in their heart because it reminded them of my horrible birth mom and it goes to show I am just like her. They know how much I do not want to be compared to her ever. They then tell me its disrespectful because I never discussed it( I am 18 this shouldn't be a discussion). \n\nThen they go on and on saying I do not appreciate the car, or tuition money for college( relatively inexpensive state school not some super expensive private school) still it is very kind of them. Which is so far from true, I know and have stated many times how lucky and appreciative I am that they help me out so much. But they also would never let me take out loans anyway. It just went on and on how I do not appreciate the food, clothes( I buy), house, and that I just do as I please. In my parents view as long as they were providing for me in some way that they did have a say in what I did with MY body.... this fucking stunned me.\nAt this point I had enough, looked at them told I'd pay for school...I feel like this is quite extreme and I am not sure how to possibly mend or fix this.", "summary": "Pierced my nose, parents berated me for it telling me how offensive it was to do so, that they have a right over my body even though I am 18 because they provide tuition, food, and a house."} {"id": "t3_229k7m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is friendship possible after break up?", "post": "My [28 M] girlfriend [29 F] of 4 years broke up with me in February citing personal problems (mental issues) and the need for space and time to work things out, though she said she would like us to come back sometime. \n\nI accepted it because our relationship was going downhill and we're in good therms. \n\nAt first she tried to stay in touch almost hourly, but I asked for silence to get used to her absence, now we text eachother weekly. \n\nIf nothing else, I really want us to be friends in the future because I really care for her and because I do need her friendship. \n\nBut I'm affraid that things cool down way too much and that we're unable to connect again. \n\nHow much time should I wait? \n\nWhat kind of contact should I keep?", "summary": "Broke up on good therms two months ago, going through some light silent phase but would really like us to stay friends. Is it possible? Or is the silence going to cool things down irreversibly?"} {"id": "t3_jsk9t", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Do I warn my siblings about the danger of raising their children how we were raised?", "post": "I was raised mormon, and saying I was sheltered is an understatement. I don't believe my parents really meant to (I kinda think it just slipped their minds) but they never taught me a single thing about sex, I was never given 'the talk', wasn't given any kind of Ask Alice book, and was actually taken out of school during the sex edd years (I know that was not the intention, just a bad coincidence). They even had parental controls all over the computer so I couldn't look anything up if I wanted to. \n\nAs a result....well, lets just say I had to rely on my high school boyfriend to tell me what a condom was. He taught me everything about sex and I believed every word he said. That is NOT ok. Seriously, I count myself lucky that he did not abuse that every day, I am sure most 17 year old boys would have. I don't know how to explain how incredibly dangerous of a situation that was, I could have ended up with an STD or a child. I could have walked into my adult life with an unrealistic understanding of sex (thus opening myself up to yet more possible STDs and children) \n\nI'm not going to lie and say that was entirely out of my hands, I'm sure I could have tried harder to get information, but I didn't even know enough to know I should. \n\nWell, my sister has four elementary school children, and my brother is about to get married and they are planning on having children. They are both still mormon so they will be raising their children as such, do I pull them aside and tell them they need to teach their children about sex no matter how much they trust them to 'make the right decision'? Do I tell them my story? Do I plan to buy everyone Ask Alice books for their 13th and slip a note with my number telling them to call with any questions? Or is that not my place? I know its up to them how they raise their children, just....Well, looking back scares me. That amount of ignorance is horrifying to me, especially on such a life changing subject.", "summary": "my parents taught me nothing about sex so I had to learn from my high school boyfriend-do I warn my siblings not to do the same to their children?"} {"id": "t3_1eg66w", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Just informed yesterday I will be receiving 100k to do with what I chose, help me do the right thing!", "post": "Ok so yesterday I received a phone call from my mother telling me the family trust was being dissolved and distributed to the children of the trustees(my mother and her brother and two other sisters) anyways there is apparently a lot of money in this trust which I have known about but was not available due to it being a generation trust which required basically my mom to die for me to see any of it ever. \n \n Sooo in the past year I have gotten married and had my first child, I am 31 along with my wife and my daughter is 5 months old, so in the past year my mother has been fighting with the trustee to release funds to be distributed to help with establishing my young family.\n Anyways the trust is in the process of being cashed out and distributed amongst the living heirs and my mother informs me she will be giving me 100k to do with what I will with hopes that I buy a home for my small family and use the money wisely. \n\n So that is my question what should I do with this money and how much should I spend on a house? Both me and my wife have decent jobs with a combined household income of about 95k a year and I personally have only about $300 in debt, seriously, she has a bit more but nothing crazy and we have the baby bill of about $1700. I want to put money in some sort of account for my daughter that can mature and gain interest and she can access when she is 21 and I am considering another one that she wouldn't know about at all and would be available when she is 30 also we want to take a honeymoon we never got so I want a few bucks for that but thats it really. \n \n Any help would be great I have never had this large sum of money put in front of me before and I want to make it work because I have watched people, like my father, squander large sums of cash due to ignorance and I will not let that happen.", "summary": "Just got informed I will be receiving 100k in the next 60-90 days to do with what I will, I am married 31 with a 5 month old and only about $300 in debt."} {"id": "t3_3u3duw", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Bicurious [28F] received phone number from a gorgeous [23F] girl this weekend. Not sure if she wanted friendship or more... what do I text her?", "post": "Ive never picked up a girl before... I've always been the one who was hit on and I have no experience with women in the dating arena.\n\nMet this beautiful and intriguing girl on the weekend - we had things in common. She wrote down her name and number clearly for me *without me asking*. She offered it, but I was the one who initiated contact and I wasn't certain if it was simply because she enjoyed talking to me or because she was interested too.\n\nI wouldn't mind being friends with her if she isn't keen on more but I also don't want to be friendzoned.", "summary": "How do I approach this girl, after she gave me her number, and how do I gauge if she is interested in more?"} {"id": "t3_49gqze", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] with my girlfriend [23F] of 11 months, she keeps trying to discuss politics with me but I'm afraid if she finds out how conservative I am we'll break up.", "post": "We like each other a lot. I'm not sure if I would go so far as to say I love her, but I can see that happening in the future. We are very compatible in many ways, but politically we couldn't be any more different. She is very liberal, and I am very conservative. It's just she doesn't know it (or at least I think she doesn't). I have tried as much as possible to avoid controversial topics or change subjects if she brings them up, but with politics being the news so much now, it's getting very hard, especially when she directly asks how I feel about X issue. \n\nIn some cases, I'll share my views with friends or family, but I'm always careful. I don't see her as someone who could accept my views given how much I know they bother her. I'm afraid she would think I'm \"intolerant\" and \"out of touch.\" I could be wrong, though. \n\nPart of me wonders if I should just be honest. Something else I've thought about is just telling her I don't want to discuss it. I'm not sure this would work because of how politically active she is. I know that every couple is different, but has anyone else ever had a similar problem? If so, how did you deal with it? Any help would be appreciated.", "summary": "Trying to find ways to not discuss politics with my girlfriend anymore. I'm afraid that if it keeps coming up she'll find out how conservative I am and will want to break up."} {"id": "t3_sdqr5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "GF of 1yr broke up with me and I have no idea the reason, I need advice.", "post": "Yes this is not my real reddit account. My GF of a year broke up with me and I am totally lost. We never argued. Were together alot always had fun and laughs. Never called eachother a single bad name. Had the same ideology, interested, both redditors, humor. Everything that you want. She was my dream girl. She has been super stressed with school and family situations and the past month or so was acting a little more stand offish so I questioned her and she began to cry and said she did not want to be in a relationship, it sucked but I accepted it but thought it was out of no where. Now a week later I try talking to her and she tells me to move on and that she has nothing else to say. This is out of no where, I feel totally betrayed and lied to. How can someone go from being in love to nothing without any cause. Like I really loved this girl and I thought she loved me. She told me I was her best boyfriend not a month and a half ago. Its not that she is with anyone else I highly doubt that. But I feel like I am suffocating and have no one to speak to. I cant eat or sleep all I do is miss her.", "summary": "GF of one year and I had a perfect relationship, broke up with me and gave me no real answer. I am now totally depressed."} {"id": "t3_1mauqy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "ex-friend [20m] sent me [21f] an apology after 2 years", "post": "this guy [20m] and i [21f] had been friends for a couple years in high school, but we stopped talking about 2 years ago, mostly due to the fact that he was in with some bad people, and that i didn't want a relationship with him. we argued a lot, and i got called a lot of names.\n\na few days ago, he sent me a message along the lines of \"i'm sorry, i've been through a lot of shit, and i realize that you were a good friend and you didn't deserve the way i treated you.\" \n\nshould i respond? i would be glad if he's really changed and is trying to repair our friendship, but this could be another way of getting back into contact just to go back into the dilemma of \"he wants a relationship/i don't\". what can i even say to that?", "summary": "ex-friend sent me an apology after 2 years of not talking. how do i respond? how do i know we won't end up back where we started? would it be better to just ignore it?"} {"id": "t3_1n28ba", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "So there's no emotion anymore [18M/19F].", "post": "So I can't say that it's always been rainbows and etc but this is just the time that I'm officially over it. Even though we've only been dating almost three and a half months, I would love for it to last longer, however I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel the same. I always make sure she knows she's beautiful and treat her like a princess, however nothing can be said towards me. Maybe five times in 3 and a half months has she made me feel like she makes me feel about her. Everything was fine until she started hanging out with her friends a lot more than usual, which is fine, but when she changed her attitude towards me, posting the usual breakup b.s that happens on Facebook/twitter/tumblr/etc, without mentioning a break up. She changed the way she's texting me, she refused to talk to me over the phone as we usually do every night being in a semi-long-distance relationship. We've not said the \"I love you's\" yet, and honestly I used to be able to say that I did, but when she gives other guys more attention than me I can't say that I do love her anymore. I'm not wanting me to be the center of her universe by no means, but I would like a little bit of affection rather than being ignored until she's bored. I don't want to end it but there's just no feeling anymore between her and I. If there is any feeling from her end, I don't feel any. This is my first official relationship and hopefully this is just a phase for her since its been two weeks since we've seen each other.", "summary": "Girlfriend and I have no emotion anymore, she's ignoring me for other guys, and straight up ignoring me. "} {"id": "t3_34xx64", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not accepting my emotions", "post": "This fuck up happened soon after the start of 11th grade (and continued for 18 months). I was in a new school and met this girl - call her Jasmine. She was very friendly and we got to talking and had a lot of fun (usually in the presence of a larger, loosely defined social group). Fast forward a few months - I come to the realization that I have feelings for her, and immediately try to disassociate with her. I ignore her presence in person, reply to her messages very coldly and generally behave awkwardly when she's around. I then proceed to become practically best friends with her older brother - call him Charles - who is my classmate.\n\nJasmine briefly dates an asshole.\n\nOne day (about 16 months after the start of 11th grade) Charles asks me why I stopped talking to Jasmine - I lie, saying that I she stopped talking to me. Later, I feel bad about lying and confess that I have feelings for her and stopped talking to her in hopes that it would go away. He takes it better than I expected, considering that he's the protective kind. A few days later he tells me that Jasmine had feelings for me as well, and it hits me... It should have been obvious to anyone. I can't take it anymore, and I tell Jasmine and apologize for being a jerk.\n\nCouple days later, out of respect for Bro Code, I ask Charles if it was okay to ask Jasmine out and he, surprisingly, says okay.\n\nI then ask Jasmine out in school. She says she'll think about it. 5 nauseating hours later she texts me, asking me relationship related-questions such as \"How do you know it'll work?\" and What about when you move for college?\", I say we'll make it work long distance. She then apologizes profusely and gives me the standard rejection \"You're a great guy\" and \"You'll end up with someone better than me\".\n\nI initially take is okay, and then go into depression mode for a few weeks.\n \nI'm now almost over her. At least I don't ignore her or behave awkwardly anymore.\n\nSide note: I've never been in a relationship. She's the only person I've ever had feelings for or asked out.", "summary": "A girl falls for me, I don't realize, I fall for her and start ignoring her, 18 months later she rejects me."} {"id": "t3_4dkwu0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] 2 years, Just told me she is losing feelings for me because I do things that push her away.", "post": "Some details before I start\n\n-We live together\n\n-Dating for 2 years now\n\n-Moved away from where we used to live (CA) a year ago\n\n-Rarely ever fight\n\nSo tonight, my gf of almost 2 years told me that she is losing feelings for me. This came up after I told her that I felt she was being a bit more distant lately and not the same. \n\nShe recently got a new job as a cocktail waitress at a club and she works about 3-4 days a week. She's also required to go to work outings sometimes which takes up more of her time. Ever since she started working this job it's been pretty difficult on me because she has to hide to the fact that she has a bf (networking opportunities). I was okay with it because I trust her. When she told me she was losing feelings she told me it was strictly because of my actions and not because of any other guys or any other reason.\n\nShe listed out a bunch of reasons such as: me nagging her about paying her bills on time, or telling her to cancel a membership to the gym because she joined another one, being clingy (I disagree), not giving her space to do her own thing (although I feel like I do)\n\nI nag about these things because I feel that its important for her to get those things taken care of, so that she can build good credit or not waste money on unneeded expenses. I don't feel like I'm nagging at her but that is what she says it is.\n\nI love my girl and I know that she loves me but is this a sign that our relationship is headed toward a downward spiral, or is this something we can move on from and fix", "summary": "GF of 2 years says she's losing feelings because I do certain things that push her away. Is this fixable or am I in a relationship that's slowing sinking"} {"id": "t3_31ch60", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "Thinking about finding a new home for my cat...", "post": "Hi everyone. I've struggling with owning a cat since she came in to my life, and I've been thinking lately about finding a new home for her. Let me explain my situation.\n\nI came to living with my cat, Neuvy, 4 years ago during my senior year in college. My best friend's fianc\u00e9e was taking out the trash one night, and Neuvy jumped in to her arms. He called me, asking if I could take her (they already had two cats if their own). I quickly said yes.\n\nShe has been living with me ever since. She drove out to CA with my for graduate school. Since I've started grad school, however, things have been rough. For one, I am never home to play with her, which I feel bad about. It's evident that she is starved for attention. When I get home at night, all I want to do is relax and crash, but instead I feel obligated to play with her, and if I don't, she meows and is worked up about it, which causes me distress, as well as it causes her.\n\nOwning a cat is expensive, as you know, and for a graduate student, my salary is meager already. In fact, I just moved in to a new apartment that is cheaper. I also feel limited by her. For instance, sometimes I need to crash at a friend's place, but I have to make the long trek back home to care for her. I also like to travel when I can, which makes things difficult. On top of it all, I've had issues with roommates and girlfriends in the past related to let allergies. \n\nBecause of all this, I've been thinking about finding a new home for her. Part of me can't bear to think about giving her away, but the other part feels like I just am not supposed to own a cat right now. I've read the articles and threads about alternatives, things you can do to improve your relationship with cats, they don't have a say in the matter, etc. But is it possible that it's just *not the right time in my life* to have a cat? And is that ok?\n\nAny help or advice would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "I'm a stressed graduate student who is thinking about finding a new home for his cat, and I'm not sure how to go about doing it."} {"id": "t3_fox85", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is anybody else sickened at the current state of our education system?", "post": "Upon coming to my state university about 3 years ago, I realized just how far behind my school district was compared to a majority of other students coming from different districts. Where they had graduated > 90% of their original class (with an average GPA of about 3.0+), my graduating class was about 1/3 of the size it was intended to be (we started with 330ish, graduated about 135). Every other district was about 2 years ahead in the curriculum compared to my high school. My school district was in a highly urban area, where a fair portion of the student body survives on the \"free lunch\" system. Our educational system (at least in Iowa) is currently experiencing wide spread budget cuts. More and more I feel like, even my own siblings, are at a disadvantage when entering college because of the decline in the quality of education. This isn't even considering the vast majority of people I know that will never make it to college simply because the system has told them \"it is not for them,\" and they repeat that sentiment. I feel like I'm ranting, but I honestly feel like, unless you come from a \"rich\" high school today, you can be so far behind your peers upon entering college, that trying to compete with them academically becomes an even greater challenge.", "summary": "I feel as if more than the \"under-achievers\" are suffering as a result of poor quality education in K-12, that can have an adverse affect when attempting to pursue higher education."} {"id": "t3_1xieiu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] with my GF [19F] 6 months gets upset when I'm mad at her for legitimate reasons making me regret bringing it up.", "post": "This is probably boring compared to most posts but I hope I can still get some insight.\n\n---\nMy GF is great and we talk about everything but whenever she does something that bugs me or hurts me emotionally (which is rare) I'm faced with an annoying dilemma. If i point it out to her she gets upset and I can't stay cross with her long enough to deal with the issue. If I ignore it then she doesn't know shes bothered me and it continues. Whats a simple way of rectifying this? I get genuinely hurt by things she does or neglects doing but it almost gets brushed away when she gets upset.", "summary": "GF hurts me emotionally and I tell her why, she gets upset, I can't continue being cross with her so the issue goes unsorted."} {"id": "t3_2fke95", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Counting calories and the cycle of binge....[Rant/Question]", "post": "Hello fellow losers,\n\nI'm a 5'1\" female, weighing somewhere in the mid 140's (Highest weight was in the 160's) Last year I was able to get down to the 120's with the help of mfp. However, since I've gained the weight back it seems as if I have been in a vicious cycle with calorie counting. I will be \"good\" and stay within calories all day, and then I'll end up being really ravenous in the evening and eating like a half a pizza or something. Then, I feel like shit the next day, don't eat, get ravenous, eat three days worth of calories in one sitting, repeat, repeat, etc.\n\nI don't \"binge\" every day, but I'd say I do it maybe once (or sometimes more...) a week. I have decided to break up with mfp for a while and just try to truly listen to my body/eat moderate (not too big or too small) portions/ cook more meals at home. I'm mainly just ranting because this cycle is really starting to piss me off a bit, though I realize it is my fault (which makes me more mad). Has anyone else experienced this? Were you able to lose weight without obsessing over every calorie?", "summary": "I get obsessed with counting calories, get hungry/frustrated, eat a crap ton of food, and repeat the cycle... Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_2m5mel", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [17 M] parents just found out I've been lying to them, I'm not sure what to do", "post": "I am a junior in high school, and I'm a pretty terrible student. Not because I am unintelligent, I just don't do my work, don't study, and get bad grades. My parents are pretty serious about wanting me to get good grades (for them good is all A or B) and they weren't really aware of my grades until now.\n\nEvery day I come home and pretend to do work while I just dick around and watch youtube videos or something. After a few hours of this I tell the parents all work is done and I play videos games for the rest of the night. I know this is problem I have and I'm pretty depressed because I do this.\n\nWell today they got an email from the school revealing how much homework there is I haven't done. I came home and got yelled at for a while about how disappointing this is and why can't I be like all my siblings that are amazing students (sister got 2400 sat, brother was national merit scholar etc). Now my father wont really say much to me and my mom just says what a nasty liar I am and how shameful it is that I can't just do my work, I'm going to grow up to be a failure if I continue like this. I can feel their extreme disappointment every time they look at me.\n\nI've left out some minor stuff that adds to them hating me but it's not that important. Not really sure where I go from here I could use some advice.", "summary": "I've been lying to my parents they just found out and are really mad, think I'm a disappointment compared to my siblings."} {"id": "t3_3b1s15", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Advice] My [26F] SO [28M] of two years was sent a photo by a female friend [23F] of his that is leaving me with questions and anxiety about our relationship.", "post": "*Names, ages, time of events, and anything else identifying has been changed as my SO is an avid redditor.\n\nA few weeks ago, I found a photo my SO saved of another girl. She was fully clothed, but the image was captioned \"About to shower!\" Note that this photo is several months old but still in his phone (and also sent after we'd started dating).\n\nI confronted him (calmly) about this, and he claims he saved it to use her face as a contact photo for her.\n\nI've been thinking on this the past few weeks, but the whole situation just seems bizarre..\n\n1. Why use that photo in particular as her contact photo?\n\n2. Why is he even receiving photos captioned with something like that from other girls?\n\n3. Why does she think it's okay, knowing he's in a relationship, to send him photos of that nature?\n\n4. I don't even want to think this but... are there other photos of this girl that he has saved that I don't know about? Or, back when that photo was sent, did he have doubts about us and did he stray and send her pictures as well?\n\nI want to trust my SO and I am very much in love with him. I just feel like something isn't right with this. We have talked twice on this already but I just... I don't feel right. \n\nReddit, I could really use some advice on how to proceed. Am I being irrational here? Should I just let this go? I don't want to ask something drastic of him like \"show me all the texts between the two of you\" or \"I want to see all the photos you have saved on your phone\" or anything like that, because that's pretty shitty. Breaking up is not an option... I believe in working through problems in a relationship instead of throwing it away over some random issue.... but what do I do?", "summary": "found a picture from a girl in SO's phone captioned \"About to shower!\" I feel it's very inappropriate and I'm worried that something happened around the time the photo was sent. Seeking advice."} {"id": "t3_181s1m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25f] was cheated on in two long-term relationships by SOs who cheated with their exes. I'm in a new relationship now [23M] but can't stop worrying about his ex. Help?", "post": "I was in two long-term relationships - 1 in high school and 1 in college. My high school boyfriend left me unexpectedly to pursue his ex-GF after we had been dating 2 years. I was upset at the time, but he now seems really committed to this girl and is still with her, so I'm genuinely happy for him. \n\nMy college boyfriend, who was mildly verbally/physically abusive, cheated on me after a few months with his ex. I gave him a second chance and he rewarded me by having a 6-month-long affair with the same girl near the end of our relationship. \n\nMy current, post-college boyfriend is 23 and we've been together for a year. He is wonderful. A great guy, very supportive. But given my past, I can't help but constantly worry about his ex. They dated for almost 3 years in college and she was a major part of his life. I almost feel like there's something \"wrong\" with me that drives boyfriends to their exes - and I'm afraid my trend will rub off on him next. He says he doesn't talk to her anymore, but there's a part of me that always thinks he's lying. To be clear, I know this isn't his fault, but mine. I obsess over wondering how long it will take him to cheat on me, how I'll find out, etc. I occassionally skim through her twitter feed \"just in case.\" I feel like a crazy person. How do I get out of this rut and trust someone who has proven over a whole year to be completely trustworthy? I don't want my fear to end up pushing away someone I can see myself spending the rest of my life with.", "summary": "Scared of being cheated on after several relationships where my SOs were unfaithful. How can I get over it?"} {"id": "t3_1k3o3k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[17M] with girl [17F] I was seeing for 9 months. Finally over and she's going out partying. How do I stop feeling awful?", "post": "We ended things around a month ago. Last week, I told her I don't want to speak to her anymore so I can get over her because I still love her and I'm unhappy. She got pissed off but that's not what I'm asking.\n\nShe went to a party last week. She's at a party tonight. I know most of the guys going and I hate feeling like they're all chatting her up and trying to pull her. I'm just sat at home feeling awful. All my friends have things on so I've nothing to do except sit at home and think about what she's doing. I just want to get over her and I hate it. \n\nSorry if I sound like I'm whining, I've just never experienced this before because she's the first girl I've properly wanted to be with and it's a shitty feeling", "summary": "Ex of 9 months is at a party atm. I'm stuck at home alone cause all my friends are busy. How do I cheer up and stop thinking about her with other guys?"} {"id": "t3_1id7pb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[18M] with my girlfriend[18F] 6 months, best friends for 2 years before this. Day after she breaks up with me gets hammered and kisses other guy.", "post": "So My ex broke up with me on July 4th because she viewed me more as a friend than a lover. The night after she broke up with me she went to a party and got super hammered and made out with a guy I know. I had to find out through a friend from work, I confronted her about it, she admitted it... The thing is, she doesn't even feel bad about it, she doesn't think that she's done anything wrong. Am I wrong to think that what she did was hurtful and generally not something you should do to your best friend?", "summary": "Ex made out with guy right after we broke up. Doesn't feel bad about it at all. (we were best friends for nearly two years, didn't end on too bad of terms.)"} {"id": "t3_2dv65t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 m] with my wife [26 F] 5 years, not sure if I cheated. And what I should do.", "post": "Hi got bored and started chatting with anonymous girls online. Met one girl who I spoke to on Kik. Flirted and got her to send me a nude. I felt disgusted at that point and stopped. I'll never do this again. Feel stomach churning revolt. I don't know if I should tell the wife. It just seems if I do I'll be harming her for little reason. Very low probability she will find out. Anon girl doesn't know who I am. My name, my face nor my number or email. I feel so bad about what I did don't know how to overcome it.\n\nNothing wrong with marriage. I just got horny", "summary": "spoke to anon girl on kik for a few days. Made her send a nude. Stopped felt disgusted. Don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_25vd0n", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "My friend has depression?", "post": "I've been helping me friend through his depression, listening to him and how he feels and such. Recently we got into a fight after I did a small prank to him \"think it will cheer him up\" and surprise surprise, it didn't work. It pissed him off, now he won't talk to me. He thinks the world revolves around him and is constantly saying \"My life sucks\" and \"Life isn't worth living\". I do care for him, and absolutely love him to death as a friend, but I need a break from this. It's affecting me, I feel like crap when I'm around him, and it's depressing. He stopped texting me because of the prank, and is telling my best friend, who has enough problems, about stuff going on in his life. I'm pissed because they barley talk to each other and she texted me saying \"I feel so bad for (depressed friend)\" when she barely knows what's going on. I'm furious right now. I have to apologize to him on Monday, but I don't know what to say! I feel so guilty and I'm furious at the same time. How can I make it up to him??? Help me Reddit!!!!", "summary": "Friend had depression after breakup with gf, I pranced him, he got mad, blocked my number, started to talking to my other friend, I don't know how to apologize!!!!"} {"id": "t3_44kiay", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me, 20/M Accidentally told a girl I really like 20/F that I liked her.", "post": "To begin with I have not been in a relationship in the last two years and my last relationship was a living hell. I have had a crush on a girl for the longest who is the first girl to ever interest me in such a long time, and she shows signs that shes into me. I have been seeing her more and more but shes been kind of acting strange with me this past week. I went out to see her and some friends yesterday and it went okay, the next day she asked me if I was trying to get at her friend and I told her no I came for you last night. She was meaning something else with getting at her friend and then told her that I was into her by accident since I believed the conversation was heading in a different direction, and she hasn't responded to me in the last 8 hours. I am 100% sure I blew it and she won't talk to me again, but what do you guys think?", "summary": "Accidentally told a girl I liked that I liked her, hasn't responded to me in the last 8 hours and Im certain I blew it."} {"id": "t3_38uhg3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by texting my manager on accident", "post": "This is my first post to reddit and it just so happens to be a TIFU. Of course. \n\nSo a bit of a back story, I worked at a restaurant for about a year and a half before moving out of the state. At this restaurant, I was hit on by all of the male staff (which isn't uncommon in the restaurant scene). There was this manager, we will say his name is Rick, who I reciprocated the flirting with. Never did I cross the line, because I knew how sticky and drama filled things can get in the restaurant business. For the full year and a half the flirting strictly stayed flirting, but when I had put in my 2 weeks, things took a turn to the more serious side of things. \n\nFlirting turned into actual statements, texting and planning. After my last day, I was texting my best friend, Lisa. I was telling her how nervous I was for it all to actually happen and if i even wanted it to. At the same time, Rick texted me asking me to meet up. At that point I was leaning towards not meeting and I texted Lisa saying, \"I don't think I will, there's still brown stuff coming out of me anyways.\" \n\nThe moment I pressed send is the moment that I realized the name at the top of the screen read Rick, not Lisa. I was petrified, I froze. I screamed. I was so embarrassed. Rick never texted me back, we didn't hook up and Lisa laughed, as I cried. \nLesson learned, double check who you're texting.", "summary": "I accidentally texted my old manager that was trying to hook up with me that I had brown stuff coming out of me. After that, he never texted back and we didn't hook up."} {"id": "t3_3u4kli", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[19/F] How do I tell my BF [20/M] that I want to spend more time with him after fights?", "post": "My BF and I have a crazy, 1.5 year history that I won't type out here - but we've finally gotten to the point that we're BF/GF. Problem? After we made it official, I became rather neurotic and things went south, and things got even worse when I started acting out in front of his friends whilst hammered. He's not guiltless either, but I've instigated the conflicts the most. Long story short, I was a right bitch about everything.\n\nWe got together after a particularly bad weekend of me throwing drunken tantrums, and we resolved that things had to change. I've started going to therapy for my borderline \"emotionally abusive\" behavior and we agreed NOT to spend every single day together; to give each other space but still be together. I feel like I'm getting a lot better, but I'm impatient and a fixer - so spending time with him now and feeling the tension and distance slowly get better is like watching a glacier melt.\n\nFast forward to today: He's across the country for Thanksgiving break while I'm hanging out our uni. He said he would text me when he left and landed home but instead he's just been snapchatting me pictures of home and drunk times with his buddies. I haven't been super responsive, and have decided to just wait for him to text me rather than text him first (to protect my pride mostly). There's still ice between us and it sucks. Tips for now and the future?", "summary": "BF and I have serious ice between us since fights - should I take initiative to break it or just him have his space and be patient about the situation?"} {"id": "t3_3j4l23", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Anyone have suggestions for HIGH heels that won't kill my feet?", "post": "My fiance is a full foot taller than me (I'm 5'4\" and he's 6'4\") and I hate the idea of being that short compared to him on our wedding day. I wear heels quite often and want to on the day we get married but, like any reasonable human, don't want to be completely uncomfortable. I can usually wear 4-6 inch heels for a few hours and 2-4 inch heels all day, but I'm hoping to find some 4-6 inch heels for the big day so we can be closer in height (plus it gives an incredible slimming effect when in high heels and a long dress). \n\nI'm willing to compromise and find super tall heels for the ceremony and switch to slightly lower more comfortable ones for the reception, but obviously they can't be too big of a difference in height because the dress will be too long. I've been looking at [these] on amazon (in gold) but don't have any other ideas.", "summary": "Does anyone have suggestions for heels that will give me at least a 4-6 inch height boost that aren't totally uncomfortable for long periods of time?"} {"id": "t3_4vl7oe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21f] think I have feelings for a school friend [20?m] but don't know how to understand emotions and such.", "post": "Hi there Reddit, I'm a nerdy college gamer who has a hard time with feelings. I realized I might have some after having a dream about one of my gaming/school friends. After digging deeper, I realized I'm jealous when other girls are around him, I find myself thinking about him at irrelevant times, and when we game together, I'm always getting myself killed trying to keep him alive, ignoring everything else that's going on. I think those are probably bad signs. \nIf he were to ask me out, I'd say yes for sure because he's a really great guy. He's funny and kind, patient with me, interested in a lot of the same things I am, seems to find what I have to say interesting, stands up for me, loves memes and games and anime like I do... Sleep is one of my favorite things and now I stay up late to play games with him, and sometimes my other friends.\n\nI just don't know how to proceed. I can try to just bottle it up forever, which is hard because I'm a bad secret keeper. I could just randomly blurt it out in chat one day and then change the subject. I don't even know what he thinks about me. I want to know what he thinks.", "summary": "I think I might be in like with my friend, what the heck do I do? How do you actually know if someone might like you (especially if you don't see them physically, school isn't back yet)?"} {"id": "t3_2fq2ny", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My GF[21F] told me she doesn't know why but she feels like a spark is missing after 1.5 yrs.", "post": "I'm a [22m]\n\nBackground: my girlfriend's mom is just finishing chemo for breast cancer, she just spent 3 months living at home for the summer to be with her family. Her dad was laid off, last week she turned 21. She lost ~40 lbs since dating me, I have always found her stunning and beautiful, but I think some of the new attention is surprising her. She was never fat, but now she is very fit. Her previous boyfriend got over committed to fast and started talking about future and marriage and she couldn't handle it. \n\nIn the last 3 months we saw each other around 5 times but always for a short period last weekend we spent 3 days straight together day and night and it must have been too much for her. Months ago we started to talk about our future and it was what she wanted. now we have been dating 1 year 5 months and this is the longest relationship she's ever had. She also says everything Is perfect she feels crazy because we work really well but she feels like \"a spark\"is missing.\n\n She just left with her single best friend to go to concert tonight and for the next few days will be gone living with her mom again. I think the wave of guys hitting on her at bar ECT when her and her pretty friend may make her question us. But I think she might also be really stressed and worried of commitment.\n\n I call her pretty, beautiful or sexy constantly like many times a day, almost every time it crosses my mind maybe it doesn't mean much from me now idk.\n\n We are still working on things and trying to be more open but we both admit this has been the best relationship in either of our lives, she said she just wants to live in the now and have fun with me again. I took her on a \"first\" date bought her flowers and held doors ECT things have been going good but idk for how long...", "summary": "we seemed fine and suddenly I dont know how to feel, she says it feels we lost our spark, we feel more like friends than dating. I think it might be due to her stress with family stuff and worry about commitment."} {"id": "t3_3e61ut", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (28/m) grandmother (72/F) is addicted to sleeping pills, worried about times when she might drive under the influence. Suggestions? [Non-romantic]", "post": "This is a pretty long and complicated story, but the main kernel of the problem is that my family is worried that someone is going to get hurt by my grandmother when the sleeping pills she is always taking effect her driving.\n\nShe has been in one accident which from what I understand ( but the police don't) was caused by sleeping pills.\n\nI'm fairly certain we are dealing with a \"r/raisedbynarcissist\" person, who is manipulative with everybody to get what she wants, be it pills or access to her car.\n\nShe is still quite independent and active, and if she wasn't on the pills, I wouldn't have a huge problem with her driving.\n\nMy parents and relatives have tried to intervene multiple times in the last year. I don't see any obvious cracks in her resolve.\n\nI think she has some doctors wrapped around her thumb and she doesn't listen to reason, she only hears us accusing and attacking her.\n\nShe is not receptive to psychiatry.\n\nI don't really know where to begin.", "summary": "how does one get an elderly addict off drugs, or make them loose their driving privileges? Or get them to change in any way?"} {"id": "t3_1pckrm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (24/F) think I need to sever ties with my sister(26/F). Any advice is appreciated.", "post": "I am a 24/F, my sister is 26/F. Here is a small background on our relationship: Our entire lives we have fought. When we were younger it was fist fighting and as we got older it became more verbal. My sister is very manipulative, my parent even admit it. They have said, \"We don't know where we went wrong raising your sister.\" Regardless, they love her and deal with her shenanigans; mostly because they usually aren't directed at them. \n\nThings in our relationship came to a head about a year ago and we had what I call a \"come to Jesus meeting.\" We said our issues, spoke our piece and agreed we wanted a relationship with each other and we would try to get to know each other on the adult level and have a clean slate in regards to our relationship. Since then, she hasn't changed. She uses my strong relationship and feelings of obligation towards my parents as leverage to try to manipulate me. She has hacked my email, puts her friends before me, talks trash about my husband and kicks me when I am down. She is constantly trying to find ways to be superior to me.\n\nThe events that have happened recently are the straws that have broken the camels back. I feel I should sever ties because this relationship is not healthy and I don't deserve to be treated this way. My parents and my sister always expect I will just get over her drama, but I no longer wish to feed into the cycle. Severing ties will alienate me from my niece and nephew and will upset my parents, but I don't know what else to do. I have debated talking to a family counselor for suggestions. Any input or advice, especially from people who have dysfunctional sibling relationships would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "My sister is a narcissist and treats me and our relationship like crap. I want to sever ties with her, but it will alienate me from her kids and will upset my parents."} {"id": "t3_1ymojq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] 4 years, please help me with this.", "post": "I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I got together with this girl 4 years and a couple months ago. We've had our troubles in the past, broke up a few times, but only once were we broken up about a month and a half, the other times were only a few days, so they're not really break-ups.\n\nThe problem is, I like flirting. It doesn't have to lead anywhere, it never does really. I just enjoy the occasional flirt. I know that's bad. But that's a minor thing. The main problem is, I don't consider myself to be on her level. Not physically, but you know. I don't know how to describe it properly, I just think she's a much better person than I am.\n\nI feel like I'm selfish, self-centered, and I think I'm wearing her down. Don't get me wrong, I treat her great, she knows she's loved, she's safe, secure, I would never hurt her in any way. But I just feel like she's too good for me, and I don't deserve her. Either that, or she's more in love with me than I am with her. I don't know why I have a wish to flirt with other girls. I know I'm young and everything, but so is she. \n\nAnyway, we broke up today. I think it's the best thing to do at this moment. I will try to fix the way I am, and then I will see if she will take me back. I didn't break up with her, we just talked a lot about what we both want from each other, and then decided that it was best to split up. You know how it is, I do feel like that's right at the time, but still, I can't just be cool about it, it's been 4 years since we got together. \n\nShould I just give her some space and time to think about things and what she wants? I feel like she deserves better than me, and if I can't provide it to her, she's better off without me. What should I do?", "summary": "Girlfriend and I broke up after 4 years, because I think I don't deserve her, gonna try and fix myself up and then fix the relationship. What do you think?"} {"id": "t3_zmhqu", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Injury help", "post": "A couple weeks ago I started feeling a small pain on my right hamstring and glute. The pain got worse since then and I have only been able to run at an easy pace without irritating my hamstring. The pain feels like it is right where my hamstring and glute attach. I usually don't feel the pain when walking around. It is very painful to move my leg right and left vigorously. I also feel the pain when I am sitting up and try to move my leg up when it is straight. When I start getting my knees higher while running I feel the pain too. What I've already done to try to treat it is: heating before I run, stretching a lot (but not overstretching) when I am done running, and then icing. I also see a chiropractor that has been giving me stim massage and ultrasound massage which has really loosened my leg up a lot. He told me that my left foot's arch collapses in more than my right which is making my left leg move differently than my right. He said that this is making me compensate with my right which is giving me the pain. I have strengthened the arch and gotten orthotics, but the pain is still there. Has anyone else had a problem similar to this? or have other ways to treat this? I am looking for any help! I need to get back to my normal schedule of faster running and racing as soon as possible.", "summary": "I have pain in my right leg where the hamstring and glute attaches. I feel the pain more when moving it right and left and also when I raise my leg up. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_cs399", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Am I crazy?", "post": "Dear Reddit, \n\n On the Global Reddit Meet-up Day June 19th I met a few new people and friended 2 of them on Face Book. Not long after that I broke up with the man who introduced me to Reddit and started talking to one of my new friends. We set up 2 dates, and preempted one by watching fireworks on July 3rd before a cookout at his friends place on the 4th. We have seen each other nearly every day since then, its been 2 and 1/2 weeks. \nIn the first few days he gave me a computer. We had a wonderful time on all the planned dates and even just watching movies at his place and eating pizza was fantastic fun. On the 16th he gave me a key to his apartment so I could lock the door after sleeping in and since then I can come and go as I please. \nI had found an apartment to live in from August 2010 to 2011, and he said if I needed help getting together the first months rent and security deposit that he could help me, also he could borrow a truck to help me move, and at that point he jokingly said that I could just rent his other room. \nNow its not joking, it would be economically beneficial for us both if I simply moved in with him and he is serious in his offer. \nWe have future plans for a 4 day camping trip and if I do move in we will save enough money that I can go with him on a trip to Jamaica in November.", "summary": "We met because of Reddit, and have been dating 2 and 1/2 weeks. Am I crazy for even thinking of moving in with him?"} {"id": "t3_4jpo20", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 F] need help with my depressed friend [22 F]", "post": "I met this girl, let's call her Michelle, abut three years ago. At first everything seemed nomal, and then about a year ago Michelle reveals to me that she suffers from depression. I tell her that I will try to support her, which I sincerely meant, and she was very grateful for this.\nBut, over the past year, I'm feeling very overwhelmed. It seems like all our conversations seem to revolve around her depression and her symptoms, and it's starting to take a toll on me. We go in circles a lot. She tells me about a problem, I give my two cents, and then we have the exact same conversation just a week later. Ive also been really worried about her, afraid that she'll hurt herself. And I feel like, if she does, I'm partially responsible because I'm here to help her. All these conversations and worrying has made my have a few anxiety attacks, I velieve, and my heart has had spells where it acts funny for a few days. It hasn't happened lately, but it could happen again at any time.\nAnd while I do enjoy her company as a friend, it seems like so much of our time is spent talking about her issues that it seems like I'm a counselor and not a friend. She'll change the subject from a normal conversation to a discussion of her problems, and a lot of the time what she talks about is stuff that we've already talked about a million times, and it's driving me crazy. She's seeing a counselor, and I think it's helping, but I can never be sure. She's also on antidepressants.\nI'm just at my limit, and I feel trapped. If I say that I don't want to talk about her problems, then I'm afraid she'll hurt herself because she's not venting enough and not having enough help and support. And I'm afraid that she may hurt herself if our friendship ever dissolves (we're really close). What do you guys make of this situation, and do you have any advice you could give me?", "summary": "I'm feeling trapped in a friendship with a depressed friend. What can I do to make the friendship easier on me?"} {"id": "t3_3tx1k7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU, thinking I could handle any level of heat/spice", "post": "TIFU, thinking I'm bad ass with hot stuff. I've always liked spicy food, and feel like the hotter the better, tears in my eyes, runny nose, mouth on absolute fire, good stuff. Dave's Insanity sauce, no big deal, especially after working up a tolerance I could just pour it right on.\n So this Italian dude I know has a little garden and gave me a little red pepper, said \"try this\". So the next morning I was like \" shit let's see what Marco's pepper's packing\", and took a nice little bite, chewed and swallowed on an empty stomach. \n Well holy shit, I love any level of heat in my mouth, but I didn't know the stomach has receptors for capsaicin. My stomach began to hurt like I've never felt, and I was scared I was gonna puke and set my nose on fire too. Also I know this sounds silly, but it felt like it was affecting my heart, and for a minute I seriously started to wonder if it was possible to die from a hot pepper.\n And to make it all worse there was no milk in the house. I was in agony until my mom found some old nasty heavy cream in the fridge, that put the fire out. And I learned that I'm not as bad ass as I thought with the Scoville units.", "summary": "TIFU thinking I could handle any level of pepper heat, Ate a bite of pepper on an empty stomach, stomach killed, heart rhythm felt funny, honestly thought I might die."} {"id": "t3_3f8n38", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20M] just found out my girlfriend [26/F] has a second profile she uses to message my friends, what the fuck do I make out of it", "post": "Hi.\n\nIt all started when she logged into her gmail from my smartphone. It automatically created a google profile of her account and synchronized everything.\n\nOne of the things that also got synchronized was the \"usernames\" or \"emails\" you use when you login into places and when I wanted to log into facebook a few options popped out from the drop down menu, including an email account I have never seen. Curious, I tried to enter it with her generic password she uses (for random sites, I don't know her other passwords) and boom, I was in.\n\nIt was a fake profile of some spanish chick, she added 300 spanish people who accepted her and then procced to add my university friends, started messaging them claiming she is an exhange student, talking with them about all kind of stuff. Nothing harmful, I think she is just trying to spy on me through my friends.\n\nShe is very jealous and controling and I believe she made up this profile to have a sense of attachement to my friends (she doesn't want to hang out with them in real life). I do not believe she has malicious intent. But still, what the fuck is this shit I am baffled.\n\nAnyway after seeing this I thought to myself what other shit am I gonna find on her real facebook account and got myself in, only to see nothing in messages, everything deleted a few days back, looks like she does this periodically. Hiding something? I do not know..\n\nSo reddit, the fuck do I do now? Confront her? Keep low and monitor the messages? I feel like I should just confront but I want another perspective.\n\nThanks.", "summary": "GF made a fake profile she uses to write to my friends and talk to them about random shit, I believe with the intent on spying on me. What to do."} {"id": "t3_32aicc", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by accidentally being racist.", "post": "I am white which is important in this FU and I work work at one for one of U.S. most popular superstores as a stocker and was asked to stand as a greeter for 2 hours today during my normal shift. I was told to do the normal have a good day thing and (important) ask to see receipts of customers I did not see check out.\n Everything was going fine and everyone was pretty used to the receipt things so I was feeling confident. I can see 2 white families checking out and start to head my way as a black female I had not seen checkout (large store so I can't see both ends of registers.) comes to leave from the side I could not see.\n Without thinking I walk past both white families and request the black woman's receipt. She takes this as she is black and that is why I chose her instead of the other two and starts yelling at Mr calling me a racist and a bunch of other expletives. After about 30 seconds of just standing their my manager arrives and tells her I'm a racist (manager is black as well).\n Later I talk to my manager and explain what happened. She is okay and understands but I have to do a long online course on communication and appropriate behavior because customer filed a complaint against me.", "summary": "was greeter at store. Avoided 2 white families to ask black lady for receipt bc I saw the families checkout but not her. Lady teaches everyone around all the bad words in tirade."} {"id": "t3_2kbd53", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (25F) may have completely screwed up my almost 9 year relationship with my (26M) boyfriend", "post": "So, I feel as though I'm just waiting for him to end things. Here's the back story...\n\nWe've been dating for almost 9 years and have planned a future together. About 2 years in, when we were only 18 and 19 years old I was caught in some pretty serious lies about where I'd give, things I'd done and people I'd been spending time with. The truth took me a long time to get out but eventually everything came out. However, he has never really gotten over things or been able to fully trust me since.\n\nRecently I brought up the idea of getting a new car for myself to replace my 2006 car because my dealership was able to offer what I thought was a great deal. He disagreed because my car could technically be fixed by continuing to put money into it. My thoughts were that I can easily afford payments, get a decent trade in for my current car ( which was in my dad's name), get something in my own name to increase credit history with the bank which would help when getting a mortgage down the road ( we both live at home with families right now). We discussed this on two different occasions, albeit not for very long, and the issue was never really resolved. Our conversations left off with me going to the dealership to discuss the offer in more detail.\n\nI purchased a car, and picked it up, bit because of his and my busy schedules we rarely talk during the week and I forgot to tell him about the details. I told him today when we hung out but, admittedly, it probably came across as deceptive and manipulative on my part.\n\nHe has since implied that he cannot trust me anymore and doesn't think that we'll be able to live together, and presumably stay together because of this event. \n\nAm I just the worst girlfriend ever? Should I wait for him to make a decision or take the pressure off of him and leave, seeing as he is quite hurt by my actions. What do I do?", "summary": "Bought a car without talking to my boyfriend of 9 years nearly as much, no current financial ties, and he thinks I tried to hide my purchase from him. In need of advice, badly."} {"id": "t3_3auyjp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [F23] got told off by my new boss because a co-worker ratted me out because of a plate.", "post": "You know what? I'm actually livid!\nI've been working at this new company for a month. The kitchen is communal so everyone has to clean their shit up. However, we also have an office manager, and it's part of her job to put our dishes in the dishwasher.\n\nOver the weekend my house was flooded so i've been spending this whole day trying to get a hold of my home insurance company so that I can have 1) less water in my house 2) heating 3) hot water, whilst also trying to hit Thursday's deadline. The office manager is also aware of my situation because we're always talking about life in general, and also have quite a bit in common.\n\nBut all of that aside, in my month at this company I have been nothing but helpful to the office environment, I help the office manager by putting mine and other peoples' dishes away all the time. I always clean the kitchen, and just this morning I was helping her put all the groceries away because I just wanted to fucking help. \n\nSo during lunch time, I prepare my lunch and put my dishes in the sink because I'd come back to put them away after I'd eaten, just like everyone else does. However, with the home insurance situation, I've been on the phone trying to sort that whilst doing what i get paid to do. So naturally I forgot to put my shit away. Next thing I know, i've got my boss coming and telling me off infront of EVERYONE I work with, and telling me to go apologise to her. Yes, I should have put the dishes away so i'm in the wrong for that particular reason. But why doesn't she come and tell me to put them away? Why not just pull me aside and give me a friendly reminder? Why go straight to my BOSS?\n\nNo one else gets told off when they do the same thing over and over again, I do it once and get humiliated. Not only that, not once was I thanked for ever helping, and not once did I expect it, but the moment I slip up it's like I caused fucking armageddon.", "summary": "Office manager doesn't confront me, goes straight to my boss who tells me off and humiliates me infront of everyone I work with because of a plate. OW and i've only been working there for a month."} {"id": "t3_1kz5go", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] am trying to become more interesting to my girlfriend [22F] of about 2 years.", "post": "I've been with my girlfriend for about 2 years now, we've been ridiculously happy except for the last couple weeks.\n\nI'm an introvert with extreme social anxiety. She is an extrovert. For reasons unknown, we've managed to make that work for as long as we have, but recently we've hit some pretty serious bumps. She first made a post to this subreddit and later told me about it where she says that she's become bored with our relationship mostly because I am too anxious to do many things. We agreed that I would work on it.\n\nWe're doing a lot better now since we've been talking a lot more and doing more things together outside the apartment, but I still am very paranoid that she's not quite as happy as she seems. She said that she wants to be challenged in her relationship, and I wasn't doing that. So how do I do that? She wants to go on adventures and have discussions and I am more than willing to do that, I just literally have no idea where to start.", "summary": "I need to challenge my girlfriend and not be a pushover who doesn't do anything unless she wants to. Help?"} {"id": "t3_356524", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Found out best friend has a crush on my fiance, how do I tell her that I am hurt she hasn't told me?", "post": "Update: talked with my friend and fiance. Everything has been aired out, and was able to figure out her feelings were more about the idea of him rather than about him.\n\nBackstory: I am 22, and so is my friend, my fiance is 23 and we have been dating for 3 years. My fiance just moved back to his parents house to start a new job back in his hometown. He told me that one of our very good friends has a crush on him, but that she was getting over it and still wanted to be my friend. \n\nI happened to be surfing her tumblr earlier today, and came across a couple of posts about my fiance moving and how it was making her feel. \n\nIn her posts she kept mentioning how much my fiance meant to her as a friend (which the 3 of us are very good friends) and how she kept hoping things were mutual, but also how lucky he was to have an awesome fiance, and how lucky I am to have him as a fiance.\n\nAfter reading her posts, I disagree with my fiance as to her having a crush on him...she loves him. She is trying to pursue another crush she has (she is polyamorous) to get over my fiance...but she still loves him. She hasn't told me this yet because she is afraid to lose me as a friend (as stated in one of her posts)\n\nHow do I tell her that I am hurt and angry she hasn't told me about this, but that I do still want to be there for her as a friend.", "summary": "best friend loves my fiance, and hasn't told me. Doesn't want to lose me as a friend, but I am hurt and angry."} {"id": "t3_11ucus", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A friend of 14 years told me last night that I can't have morals because I don't believe in Jesus. What things have people said to you that completely changed your opinion of them?", "post": "A bit of background information is needed here. The person in question i have known for nearly all my life. I became friends with him through my eldest brother when i was 10 or so, and have been close friends with him since then (i am 24 now). He was also my soccer coach for about 8 years.\n\nHe has always been a very religious guy, and would drop subtle hints every now and again that i should come and 'help him set up' some things at his church in exchange for him shouting me lunch, things like that. But generally, the fact i respected about him was that even though he had his own beliefs, i never felt seriously pressured. It was always my beliefs on one side, his on the other and the friendship in the middle.\n\nLast night he asked me around to watch a game of soccer, and we got to talking over the game, and he mentioned an ex of mine had gotten engaged. I mentioned that it was a regret of mine that i stuffed up that relationship and that i was a bit of a bastard to her sometimes, at which point he said \"well are you honestly surprised you acted that way? The bible tells us that morals come from god, so what incentive do you have to do the right thing?\"\n\nI was totally taken aback, shocked, didn't even know what to say. I told him I was leaving and walked out the door.", "summary": "Been really close mates with a guy for 14 years, despite our differing religious beliefs. Last night he tells me I have no morals because I don't believe in Jesus."} {"id": "t3_13s17k", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A youtube video I uploaded was removed by a copyright claim made by someone who did not even own the copyright. Is there anything I can do?", "post": "I posted a short scene from a movie and it actually got quite popular on Reddit. Someone else who saw my video said I had stolen the clip from him even though I had never seen his upload which at the time had 33 total views and was literally titled \"funny video clip\" and I had never watched it. \n\n\u00a0\n\nThe problem is he does not even own the copyright. I certainly don't either but the entire movie is on youtube and my clip actually got featured on Ray William Johnson's show and obviously youtube isn't going to remove that. I have already filed a counter claim but youtube is quite unresponsive to this issue and will likely do nothing. Is there anything I can do to fix this?\n\n\u00a0\n\n[Here is my post from two weeks ago.](", "summary": "Someone filed a copyright claim against a video I uploaded and it was removed even though they do not own the copyright either."} {"id": "t3_40i7y8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 F] need help. I beat up my SO [25 M].", "post": "Ok, so obligatory throwaway because I am a piece of shit and don't want this linked to my main account. For a bit of background, my SO and I have been together for 4 years. We do not live together, but see each other frequently. Last week something happened and I'm not sure how to deal with it. \n\nWe had been out drinking, and had gotten into an argument on our way back to his place. We had drank A LOT, and then the next thing I remember was me punching him. To clarify, I did not just punch him once, I punched him maybe 5-6 times. Then apparently I started to belittle him, saying he would never amount to anything and that I would be better off with one of his friends as they are all more successful than he is. \n\nI am absolutely disgusted with myself, and I fully expect to get plenty of abuse from Redditors for this, but I really want to fix this. I love this man with all my heart, and I can't forget the look on his face when I was punching him. My heart breaks every time I think about it, and I know that nothing I do will make up for what I out him through.\n\nI have some ideas as to how I can make sure this never happens again, but was wondering if anybody could give me any advice. My first port of call is the doctors, where I am going to be asked for a referral to a counsellor. Second, I am never going to drink that much again. While I am not blaming being drunk for my disgusting behaviour, I feel like it didn't help matters.\n\nAny advice Reddit? I don't want to lose him but I know that he would be better off without me right now.", "summary": "I am a piece of shit who beat up my wonderful SO and treated him like garbage. I need advice on how to go about making sure I never do it again."} {"id": "t3_4a4yph", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Was I[27M] wrong to dump [23F] because we don't see eye to eye? Having second thoughts", "post": "Two months ago I matched with a girl that was, in all honesty, out of my league. We went on a couple dates and clicked well but she seemed really goal/ career focused. She's in med school, I'm a resident, and our entire second date devolved into me giving her med advice. I didn't mind but I also don't want to be with someone who is looking for a mentor, not a boyfriend.\n\nAfter a couple dates, we have sex. It's awkward. She starts talking a lot when she feels awkward and it messed with the flow of everything. She's also inexperienced and I could tell she didn't really know what she was doing. After sex, she tells me she's only looking for something casual. I'm at a point in my life where I want to date someone with the potential of marriage. After that date, we parted ways and didn't talk much. She reached out a couple times but I wasn't sure if I wanted to see her again. She texted me saying her relationship goals had changed after a while of no contact between us, but at the time it felt like too little too late.\n\nIt's been a month since that date, and I ran into her in the hospital (where we both work). I've been wondering if I should reach out. I know she's probably still be interested (Added me on snapchat a week ago). Seeing her in person reminded me of how pretty and funny she is. She was being kind and flirty without really mentioning the fact that I'd stopped talking to her. Do I reach out? Or will it just be awkward again?", "summary": "Dumped a girl who seemed too unsure of what she wanted, but seeing her again recently brought back some old feelings. Should I reach back out?"} {"id": "t3_15o5ts", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I recently hooked up with a friend, now she is very clingy. How to let her down easy?", "post": "I knew her vaguely from a previous job I worked at and hung out with her a couple times last year before she left for college. She visited for Christmas break and we hung out, expressed interest in each other, and ended up hitting it off and had sex.\n\nI made plans to visit her school on new years and stay for a couple nights. \n\nBut today she has been texting me from morning to night, twice asked me to get on facebook to chat even though I said I was busy/didn't feel like it.\n\nWe had occasional contact before and she has now changed to hitting me up like crazy and seems like she's really into me.\n\nI was honestly just looking for a friend with benefits type thing and thought she would be ok with this as she said she was about to be a FWB to some guy in the past.\n\nAnd plus I guess I'm only the 2nd guy she's hooked up with. And she mentioned she has some self esteem issues.\n\nBut I don't really don't even like her that much... Idk what to do. I really don't wanna be a jerk and nail and bail cause I don't want to hurt her. \n\nI told her she was freaking me out with the constant messaging and asked what she was looking for. She said she didn't know and asked what I was looking for so I told her mostly just friends with maybe some more.\n\nUgh well that's where I am right now. Comments on how to kinda cushion this for her, me being an idiot, how to escape the soon upcoming 2 day visit I planned, and avoiding this type of thing in the future all appreciated.", "summary": "Hooked up with acquaintance hoping for FWB, she is very into me now but I don't feel the same but don't want to hurt her (more than necessary.)"} {"id": "t3_2bvguo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my boyfriend [24 M] 4 months dating, I lied.", "post": "I met this guy on grindr(gay hookup app) and we hooked up one day when I went to a college visit in Michigan. The first night we had sex, but he came for second night and we just talked until we both fell asleep. We decided to keep in touch until I graduated high school and came to school there. (I was still 18)\n\nEver since then we have been texting and face timing everyday(building trust etc.) Since then I have asked if he has hooked up with anyone since we met and he said no. 1st red flag. He has hooked up with someone, he didn't know I'd remember but he told me a month into our relationship. I figured at least he was honest and didn't think too much of it.\n\nRecently I went to New York by myself to tour the city at night because I had never seen what it looked like before, I live in NJ. In the end I ended up calling him because I was at Penn station and it was about 4 in the morning. I made up this story that I came to new York, met up with my roommate & his older brother, we went to a hookah bar, and they got drunk so I left. the story itself wasn't very believable and he caught on and told me he had a hard time believing me, and hung up.\n\nI texted him and told him I was sorry that I lied and I promised I'd never do it again. He sent me a picture of his gay hookup app of people messaging him and told me that he was at a hookups, house right now and I told him I wanted to keep trying with him either way I didn't care. He said he wasn't mad at me but in turn he would not apologize for hooking up, lying, and he would not delete his app. I accepted the consequences for my lies and told him that I still wanted to keep trying with him. Since then he un-followed me on instagram and I don't know how to start a conversation with him anymore, everything I say will just sound like another lie to him. I haven't tried texting or calling him ever since then.", "summary": "How do I earn his trust and understanding back? & how do I start a conversation with him. He's very intimidating."} {"id": "t3_3v6ezf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 F] with my roommates [19-21F]. One of our roommates is awful.", "post": "Hi, first off, sorry for the formatting; I'm doing this on mobile. Second, I don't if this is going to come off petty, but I'm out of ideas. \n\nI'm a sophomore in college and currently living in an apartment with 4 other girls. Three of the girls I knew my freshmen year and we decided to live together. When we looked for housing, our ideal apartment only had 5 bedrooms left so we had to have an extra roommate placed with us. We were all ok with this as most of us are laid back. However, when we first met our roommate we found out she was an exchange student. \n\nWhich is no big deal, but some of her lifestyle ideals are different because of the culture she grew up in. First, she doesn't want anyone talking or using the living room past midnight; which is pretty much impossible for college students living a college lifestyle. Second, she wants the doors to be locked at all times, and gets angry when someone leaves the door unlocked. These first two rules are livable, and my roommates and I all try to be as quiet as possible after midnight and lock the doors when leaving or before bed. But recently she has wanted to keep the heat at 73 degrees. We're living in the Midwest so the average temperature outside is about 20 degrees Fahrenheit. By keeping it at 73, we are increasing our electrical bill astronomically. Last month is was $300. This roommate also has a space heater that she leaves running constantly. One of my other roommates tried to counter this by turning down the heat whenever she could. This still uses a lot of electricity as we cycle from hot and cold. What can I do about this reddit, are there any options? We all signed separate leases, and there's not a way to switch roommates. I just can't afford to keep paying $60 a month for electricity. Ideally the temperature would be around 65-68 degrees but she says anything lower will make her sick.", "summary": "Roommate wants to keep the heat at 73 Degrees Fahrenheit when the temperature outside is about 20. None of the other roommates want this."} {"id": "t3_20pdhe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with a long distance \"it's complicated\" [23 F] for a year+, should I bother trying for an official relationship?", "post": "I was with a girl but we both knew I was moving a few months after we started going out (22m/21f at the time) so we didn't want a serious relationship before I moved away. If I didn't move away, I'm certain we would be in a serious relationship but right now the best way to describe our status is \"it's complicated.\" FWIW moved away means halfway across the US. We still talk almost every day (8+ months after moving) but we've been talking more lately about an actual relationship. I go back to town every month or two and we always spend a good amount of my time there together.\n\nRecently, we've been talking about having a weekend getaway together. She can't afford the trip but I have airline miles for her to fly and I have hotel points for a mostly \"free\" trip. I feel like we should at least be in some sort of official relationship before we do so... or this might be the perfect chance to start one. Do I try and start an official relationship? Is starting a relationship as long distance a terribly bad idea?", "summary": "long distance \"it's complicated\" relationship - do we take a trip together and/or should we start an official relationship as long distance?"} {"id": "t3_21hrbs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] with my girlfriend of nine months [22F] unsure what to think about her hanging out with a guy friend", "post": "So my girlfriend of 9 months recently moved away for college. She is a 4 hour drive away so it's a bit long distance but we've seen each other most weekends. Recently a guy she previously knew started talking to her again and they've begun to hang out a bit.\n\nI not sure how two feel cause this guy has previously told her that he had feelings for her (previous to our relationship). When we began our relationship he stopped talking to my girlfriend until recently (she lived away from him in the same town I'm in) . They caught up for coffee and had a chat.\n\nMy girlfriend told me he stayed away because he didn't want to sabotage our relationship. They have hung out twice both times just the two of them at coffee shops. I'm just not sure how to feel.. \n\nIt makes me a bit uncomfortable (which I've communicated with her) but not sure if I should be more worried. I trust her completely... But him not so much. Guess I'm just asking how I should approach the situation.", "summary": "Girlfriend is hanging out with a guy who previously said he had feelings for her and I'm not sure how to feel"} {"id": "t3_3gzvvv", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Finding Cosigners Outside of Family", "post": "I'm not asking anyone here to cosign, I know that's against the rules, and it's not really what I'm gunning for. Here's my story:\n\nI have not yet graduated from my school, but I haven't been enrolled for ~15 months. I will remain a student until I independently finish this one last requirement and get cleared for graduation.\n\nMy mom may need to move soon, and she'll need to get a mortgage on a new house. She's also the cosigner on my (private) student loans, totaling ~$123k. With that debt hanging over her, she and her wife can't get a mortgage.\n\nConsolidating my loans is something I've been intending to do regardless. I want to do it to get the loans out of her name, but despite a decent salary ($60k), my debt-to-income ratio and credit score are too high to qualify independently for just about any options. What I really need is someone who can cosign a consolidation.", "summary": "Are there methods of finding people who would listen to these kinds of (sob) stories and consider cosigning to pull someone like myself (good job w/ good salary, too much debt) out of this pit?"} {"id": "t3_3d19o0", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Running after injury", "post": "5 years ago a buddy of mine got in a fight and I stepped in. There where 5 of them and two of us and after a while one of the other guys pulled out a street sign and used is to break my right leg. My shinbone and the one behind that(don't know the English name) where shattered. \nAfter two surgeries and 2 years (and some more surgeries) of trying to get back on my feet I was able to function normally again.\nIn those two years I finished my school and my career took flight. I used to do a lot op sports and was really fit. Now, three years later, I am trying to get fit again. I took on crossfit and after a lot of shameful sessions where girls where faster and stronger than I am (and I am a 2 meter tall 115kg weighing guy) I can say I am starting to get fit again. \nThe only thing I can't seem to get down is the running part. The 400 till 800 meters running there is in crossfit I can't seem to do without completely draining myself. My muscles sour almost immediately and after a couple of hundred meters I have to pause. The muscles that fail are the ones in the foot/leg that you use when launching yourself in the air with your hind leg and landing on your heel with the front leg (difficult to explain in english) after a while I launch with a flat foot and land on a flat foot. The muscles are strong and developed, they just don't seem to be able to keep going for a longer time.\nDo any of you have any tips or exercises i can do to improve? \nWhat I have been doing; calf raises and trying to lose weight (with my weight all training is strength training not conditioning :s)", "summary": "I need tips and exercises to regain strength and conditioning in my lower leg muscles after injury and 5 years of inactivity "} {"id": "t3_3dvh6w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] 2 years - told me today that he was (and has been since forever) bi. He thought he'd told me but I didn't know!", "post": "Basically, I went to see him today. It was our annual Pride parade, he said he'd completely forgotten and had he known in advance, we could've made plans to go. I said, \"What, with your Straight Pride flag?\" - we have a lot of gay mutual friends, so it was really just a funny joke, in my opinion.\n\nAny way, so he said, \"Errr, no, 'cause I'm not straight.\"\n\nThis completely blindsided me - *he* thought I knew, but it's *never* been discussed. There was actually a perfect opportunity as I'm a gray-asexual (*normally* lacking in sexual attraction, but with a few exceptions) and it was discussed early in the relationship. I'm wondering if he just forgot, because he told me that he never really told his parents because he's never had long-term relationships with other men; they've been with women but... like, I didn't wanna sound like I was shocked/disgusted. (I'm totally not!) It sounds like he'd just had male sexual partners.\n\nAny way. I don't really know how I feel about this? I tried really hard to not think about it whilst I was over there because I tend to overthink these things - basically, I don't know if it's something that he should've mentioned (he definitely *did* not - I don't forget *anything*) or if I should just build a bridge, get over it, etc... Because he's clearly with me, and I have 0 doubts with regards to his faithfulness, so, yeah.\n\nI'd just appreciate some input! Thanks!", "summary": "Boyfriend is bi, thought he'd mentioned it. All long-term relationships with women, just male sexual partners. Don't really know how to process/feel."} {"id": "t3_fyz3l", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I might have solved creation mathematically but I have no idea what to do now, any advice?", "post": "I have always asked myself the question \"Why is there something instead of nothing\". About two months ago I answered it mathematically, at the time I was pretty excited but figured in a couple days I'll realize some obvious flaw in the theory. Instead, I started learning theoretical physics, watching BBC documentaries, etc and working out any of the minor problems such as where time comes from and at this point am almost certain it is correct. It is very simple, elegant, mathematical and explains many things. It's actually so simple I'm surprised someone else hasn't figured it out, although it is extremely abstract. I am not going to say the theory at this point, I just want advice on how to proceed. If you don't believe me that's fine I don't really care. I have enough self conviction to know when I'm actually onto something, even if most people just dismiss it immediately before even hearing me out. At this point I have only told like 4 people and after they got it they kind of had a holy shit moment.\n\nAnyways, I am not an academic. I don't have a university degree or any credentials. I am early twenties and have no idea how to proceed with this. I did attend university for electrical engineering for awhile but dropped out. I want to try and get it published in either Nature, or Science, but I don't know what is expected. Any ideas on journals? I have read their entry articles but am still not certain. Has anyone else been here before? How long should it be? Or gotten an article published? Help would be greatly appreciated.\n\nI'm going to bet no one is going to actually take this seriously since this is something that is easy to dismiss. Most people think that the question in itself is unanswerable. But if you can help me out that would be great, I really have no idea what to do now.", "summary": "How can someone who isn't in academia get a paper published assuming the theory is indeed correct and pretty much self evident."} {"id": "t3_42djm8", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[24F] in a weird friendzone limbo with [24M]. When should I say something?", "post": "My friend and I became very close very quickly because our friendship started out with us dating for a month and half. We stopped because he had just gotten out of a long term relationship and had a lot of family stuff going on and didn't feel emotionally ready for a new relationship. We had a very candid conversation about if it was genuinely about compatibility or if it was timing and he said i wasn't a rebound, it was timing. We agreed to leave the door open to getting back together, but in a \"no promises and don't wait for me because that would change things\" kind of way. I wasn't really sure if we'd be able to be friends or not. \n\nFast forward about a month and we've continued as platonic friends but are closer than ever. It's never really gotten completely into the platonic zone and if anything is just increasing in sexual tension and flirtatiousness. He's extremely sweet and supportive of me and it feels like we're just dating but not having sex. For example, yesterday we spent the whole day together and I made him dinner and then he insisted that I come out that night (i hadn't been planning on it) so I could spend time getting to know his best friend. . I'm not sure if at this point if he might be ready to reconsider or if he's just being clueless to how much he treats me like we're dating.\n\n It feels like our relationship is not sustainable where it's at. I'm not sure how/if I should bring this up or if I should just let things run their course. I'm very confused about his intentions. We have to see each other every day for school so I don't want to make things awkward, but I don't know if I can deal with this almost-a-relationship much longer. What should I say?", "summary": "More-than-friendship with my close friend is becoming too much for me to handle. When is it appropriate for me to say something?"} {"id": "t3_2awd5d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I don't really get what the issue here is between me [24/M] and my [19/F] girlfriend. Little help?", "post": "So I've been with my girlfriend for about 8 months now. It's been great, I've seen her twice/three times a week for the whole duration. Good times. But she's moved back home with her parents after university for the summer so we're finding it hard to see each other as much, naturally. I work so can normally stay over a night or two before I head back home. All completely fair right? I have a job, I need to earn money!\n\nAnyway we've arranged a weekend at hers next weekend. I was looking forward to it, so was she but today out of the blue I get a 'I bet you won't stay 3 nights' text and when I questioned it I got told 'everything you say seems to be an excuse to leave'\n\nThis all seemed totally and completely unwarranted. I hadn't said anything to ignite this and now she's a bit cold with me even though we didn't even have an argument really, just me questioning the whole thing. Seems like she wants me to stay forever just because I have loads of time away from work (I have a lengthy period from work for a month or so). It just seems a bit petty and I don't really understand it all. What's she getting at? Why does she have an attitude with me when really I have the right to be the one annoyed? Just some clarification would be great!", "summary": "girlfriend questions how long I will stay at her parents house and insinuates I always have excuses to leave which isn't true at all."} {"id": "t3_3k5kk2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23M] gf [22F] wants to take a break to \"figure herself out\", but still wants to talk to me in the time being. Should I cut off communication?", "post": "We have been dating for 4 years and she told me that she needed some space to figure herself out. She claims that during our 4 years she has lost who she really was and needs to find her personality. During our dating I always encouraged her to go out with her friends and to start her own hobbies, but she was always at my side and never maintained friendships. Now she needs a break to do what I have been advocating the whole time.\n\n Upon digging into it more it turns out she has been talking to another guy who lives across state. She claims it has been fairly innocent flirting and she's never lied to me before, but I feel so betrayed idk if I can believe that it hasn't escalated to more than that. \n\nShe wanted to live with me still ( as roommates...) and still take the break but I said no. She's now moved back home with her parents 2 hours south which is conviently 25 minutes away from her the guy she's about to throw this all away for.\nShe wants to continue talking to me while when doing this and I agreed to that at least, but I'm starting to find that it is getting harder and harder knowing there is someone else in the picture.\n\nWe decided that this break would last until she graduated in December, then we would reevaluate things.\n\nSo, should I cut off all contact with her until then or should I maintain brief converstantions? \n\nNothing to do with the situation butI have really bad social anxiety and it's making this whole process a nightmare because I'm having a hard time finding people to talk to about it so I keep going back to her...", "summary": "gf of 4 years wants to take a 4 month break. Should I maintain contact or just ignore her this whole time?"} {"id": "t3_2hio8a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (18F) trying to break the news to my SO (24M) that gosh darn it I'm in it for the long haul.", "post": "Alright let's get down to it. Throwaway because SO is self proclaimed reddit addict, and I'm an embarrassing dumbass.\n\nMet this guy a looong time ago, we chilled a few times, mostly just watched TV and barely talked. As you can imagine, it ended up fizzling into nothing and for a couple of years we were just kind of \"aware\" of each other.\n\nFast foward to after I finish highschool, we hit it off randomly one night and start seeing each other.\n\nI was a different person when I was younger and I just felt like maybe I could be better for somebody now that I'd grown up and gotten over a lot of dumb shit that kept me shying away from everybody.\n\nSo fast forward again and it's been three months and we've hit a bump or two but I really like him and think about him every day and I'm just so torn up because I'm about to have to take this long trip (like 6 months) for work, and he says he'll wait for me, but I'm beating myself up because I feel like I've let too much of my shitty bitch side out lately and if I just leave for that long he'll get impatient and start something up with somebody else. \n\nWe're not very open with each other, vocally. It comes in small bursts and neither of us really mean to let it slip out, it just does. I try to let him set the pace wherever he feels it's best. But honestly, it started as a physical thing between us, it's always been a physical thing. I love when he's sweet, because I'm a dumb girl, but he could just hold my hand and not say a word and I could cry from how happy I am. \n\nSo I'm just trying to approach the subject as a whole with him (me leaving) because I've got one month left to spend with everybody, and we haven't talked about it really, and I just want to let him know how I feel before we're separated, cue violins. What do?", "summary": "SO and I are both painfully introverted romantically. About to be separated, trying to clear the air about my feels."} {"id": "t3_1bp826", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How to deal with a red light violation with all factors against you?", "post": "Disclaimer: I know my dad is really stupid. Please don't bash his stupidity because I've probably done enough of that. \n\nMy dad bought a car off Craigslist last October and was going to just trash his old truck. However, the guy that was going to sell us his car liked my dad's car so we basically did a trade and he took off a couple hundred off his asking price for my dad's car. For some stupid unknown reason, there was no legal signature or receipt of anything and my dad let him take off with his old truck with his license plate still attached. (why? I do NOT know.) And my dad either threw away or doesn't remember the guy's name or his phone number. \n\nFast forward to February, my dad gets a red light citation from end of January in the mail and it's my dad's old truck with his license plate still on. My dad can't prove with a bill of sale that it's not his car anymore. He did take it off his insurance, but they say they can't accept just that unless my dad has the other guy's name and address. He wrote to the DPS telling them to remove his name from the license right after this, but since the red light happened before he did this, he has to pay. He didn't think he had to do that since the guy apparently told him he was just going to use the car for parts. (Apparently not.)\n\nOn top of all of this, I was not here for any of this (the trading/sale of the cars, this whole mess), and I am only learning of this through my mom. She said another red light notice came 4 days later for a different violation, and since it's also before the day the DPS removed his name form the license they say he'd have to pay for that too. It doesn't help that my dad is really fobby and doesn't understand America/english very well. I have no idea what other evidence he might possibly provide to show that the car was not in his possession at the time of these violations.", "summary": "My dad is really stupid and I am sorry. Is there any way for me to help him not have to pay for these red light violations??"} {"id": "t3_1621l7", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "New makeover, new perspective, need help getting started (20M)", "post": "Story is I'm a 20M, never had a girlfriend. I used to not care much about myself, but that changed very recently. I just turned 20, so for a late birthday / new year's celebration, my best friend took me out to get a makeover (new clothes, nice shoes, new glasses, nice haircut, dyed the hair). For the first time in my life, I finally realized \"Wow, I'm a good looking guy!\" Quite eye-opening for me.\n\nI now feel motivated to become more social and start dating. I think my issue now is that most people assume a good-looking well-dressed person is very popular and social and has lots of friends, but I'm still the same, socially awkward guy, the exact opposite. I'm worried about being \"that guy\" who drops significantly on the attractiveness scale the second they open their mouth.\n\nAlso the fact that I am 20 and have no dating experience seems problematic to me. I'd assume it would be a red flag to most people, as they would expect someone my age to already know and experience certain things within relationships. I assume they think there is something wrong with me. I'm also not old enough to go to bars or clubs yet, which seem like good places to socialize. Anyway, this is all so new to me but it seems like there's so much to see, learn and do in the dating world. I don't know where to start.", "summary": "20M Recently got a makeover, got new perspective, motivated to date. I have no dating experience at all and don't know where to start."} {"id": "t3_2z8kxc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 F] decided to move in with my boyfriend [24 M] who lives with his family", "post": "I don't have a healthy environment at home; my father and I are not speaking despite living in the same place and I have been constantly afraid of him kicking me out for about a year now. I have no job (but seriously looking for one) so I'm always alone which has led to me basically isolating myself even when my family is home. I've realized more and more that I've become disconnected from them. I love my brothers and mother but most of the time I feel like I have nothing in common with them.\n\nI spend a lot of time away from home with my boyfriend anyway so it makes sense that I would move in with him. This is one of the many reasons why my father has threatened to kick me out. However, he lives with his brother, father and his father's friend. I've spent so much time at their house that I'm comfortable there but always as a guest never as a resident.\n\nWhat I would like to know is how do I learn to live with not just my boyfriend but with three other men too?", "summary": "moving out of family home for the first time and have no clue on how to live with a significant other and their family"} {"id": "t3_5331uz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (25f) boyfriend (31m) and I do not communicate well. I'm at a loss what to do.", "post": "I'm having a really hard time with my boyfriend Tom. I love him dearly but lately we've been fighting a lot and I'm starting to rethink the future.\n\nI have much more fulfilling conversations with my friends, roommate, etc. When I try to talk to Tom about my day it just feels empty. He never really has anything to say back and I find myself struggling to edit down what I'm saying. Man this is hard to describe. He sort of just jumps to the end of the conversation and says things like \"oh well I'm sure you'll figure it out\" or \"just try to deal with it\" or \"well you're home now so...\" just sort of stuff that kills any progress of conversation. I don't get much back and forth.\n\nHowever, he gets to talk about whatever and I listen and participate. It makes me really sad. I have been dealing with feeling lonely like this for a long time in one way or another. I have attempted to talk to him on many levels about it and it never seems to improve, it's really confusing. When I try to talk to him about it he just... basically says he disagrees with me. \n\nI am tired of fighting and feeling overlooked and taken for granted. He shows he cares about me in other ways but I'm starting to think he's confusing comfort with love and that he's just become accustomed to being around me. Idk. Not sure what to do?", "summary": "I am disappointed frequently when I try to have actual conversations with my boyfriend. Always shallow, never deep talks, feels one sided."} {"id": "t3_2p5r51", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18F] with my boyfriend[19M] of 8 months, I have recently signed up and am eligible for clinical drug trials, he seems really uncomfortable with it", "post": "We are both university students and met at university. My degree happens to be right down the drug trial lane and people who work on the drug trials have done the same degree as I have. I am really interested in how these trials are created and the process behind them. \n\nThe drug is already allowed in the US and they just have to do some studies here (Australia) to make sure they're ok. \n\nI am getting paid for this trial but the more you get paid, the higher the risk of getting the side effects are. I am in a study with a relatively low risk level. \n\nI am really interested in the process but the money would be really nice especially in uni holidays and with Christmas coming up. \n\nI spoke to my uncle and grandpa about this (they are both doctors) and they said I should be fine, especially because there's a chance of me getting a placebo. \n\nThe real issue is that my boyfriend doesn't seem to like the idea at all. I don't know what to do. I'm worried that if I do drop out of the study he'll be all like 'you didn't have to do that for me, you're an adult who can make you're own decisions' because I know he's uncomfortable with this and one of the only reasons I would drop out of the study.", "summary": "boyfriend is very uncomfortable with my desire to take part in a clinical drug trial, not sure if I should drop out or not"} {"id": "t3_17bl6g", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Boyfriend went out with old HS mates and I was left at home?", "post": "26/m 22/f 6 Months\n\nSo friday night my BF went out to a bar as a meetup for people from his old school. Going with him was his good friend, also my friend. It didn't bother me at first, and I get it that it might be weird for me to come since I would only know him and his friend.\n\nSo I stayed back at his flat while he went out. He wasn't gone very long, and it was nice when he came back. But it sudden'y bothered me a bit. Why wouldn't he want to bring his girlfriend along to meet everyone? He told me how he was talking about me, and what I did to everyone, so I guess if he's proud of me, why did he leave me behind?\n\nAlso, I think he meant for it to be a \"guy's\" night and I think I'm just being ridiculous... but I can't help but feel a little hurt. Can someone knock some sense into me?", "summary": "BF went out with some old school friends, left me at home, wasn't bothered but suddenly feeling a bit sad about it?"} {"id": "t3_1p03oo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [19M] having difficulty with a girl [19F]", "post": "So I got with this girl at a student event in the city,\nI've been to her flat a few times and things have gone quite well,\nWe've been talking frequently and we both know that we like each other (will elaborate shortly)\nRecently, we've just been talking less and less to the point where I end up waiting hours for a reply from her OR I end up abandoning my previous message and sending a new one entirely.\nThis is made worse by the fact that my mind has a tendency to make a mountain out of a molehill and think of worse case scenarios that just make me get upset and all that other bullshit.\nI told her yesterday straight forward that I like her, to which she told me the same & that she wanted to see how things go, yet nothing has changed (still waiting on a reply to a text I sent 4 hours ago + a text i sent 20 minutes ago)\nThe fuck have i done wrong/should i do.", "summary": "Got with a girl at a student event, kept in touch & done the deed more, got feels involved and i have no idea what to do."} {"id": "t3_369glg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16|M] get the feeling that my girlfriend [15|F] likes me less after we had sex", "post": "I started dating this girl and after we decided that she was going to sleep at my place she texted me that I shouldn't make any move to sleep with her because she wasn't ready yet (we had only been together for less then 1 week). \n\nI told her I understood her and wouldn't do it but when she did eventually sleep at my place we had sex anyways. \nNow she was pretty happy and was kind of joking that I broke my deal but she was definitely into it and told me it was good so everything was alright. \n\nNow when she went I asked her when we would see each other and she just said she doesn't yet know.\n\nNow we used to text a lot and she was always really nice but the last couple of days her messages seemed kind of cold and short so I asked her if anything was wrong but she told me that everything was good but she just has a lot of stuff to do and she doesn't really now what to respond when I text her that I miss her.\n\nI just wanted to ask for your opinion on the situation because I am not really sure what to think of our relationship now.", "summary": "had sex with girlfriend eventhough I told her I wouldn't do it and now she rarely texts me and seems colder"} {"id": "t3_4hx3to", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my [24 F] dated for 1 month, but can't figure out why I am not completely into her,", "post": "I could use any help or advice. \n \nI am dating a girl, who is cute, a little overweight but we get along well and have good chemistry, and she is into me (which doesn't happen often). I usually am drawn into athletic women, and one of the things I worry about is that I am not attracted to her because of her weight. I don't want to break up with someone who is right because of something like that. \n \n \nI enjoy being around her, but I am just not excited to see her when I set up dates or even the afternoon leading up to the date. I am just not completely into her, when I think about introducing her to my friends, I hesitate in my own head. \n \n \nIts been three dates, nothing serious has happened yet, but I can't figure out if I just need to be patient and let the strong feelings come later, or if I should end it if I am not feeling it after 4-5 dates. I haven't had a long relationship in over 5 years, so I think that might have something to do with it.", "summary": "Good chemistry, enjoy being with her, but not always excited to see her, worried i might not like her because she is overweight!"} {"id": "t3_2xrjpf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [30 M] girlfriend [26 F] of 10 months thinks she might be asexual.", "post": "our relationship is really great and healthy in every other way but as we get to know each other better I have come to understand that she has no real sex drive. She thinks she may be asexual. I think maybe she has a hormonal imbalance or her birth control is doing something but she says it has been this way pretty much her whole adult life.\n\nShe almost never denies me sex when I initiate and she has orgasms that she insists are real and she even says that sex feels good with me but that it is mostly because it brings her closer to me. She says that she has never dated anyone for sex and is 100% interested in personality and sexual desire doesn't factor into her interest in me or anyone else. \n\nThis is making it very hard for me to be comfortable initiating sex (she has never once initiated) because I want her to desire me. I want to be loved but I also want to be wanted on a carnal level. Who wouldn't?\n\nI feel like this is either something that can be fixed in her (or does it even need to be fixed?) or it is something that I have to learn to deal with if I want to be with her. I don't want to break up because in every other way she is the most amazing woman I've ever met and I still think I am impossibly lucky. But I just don't know how to be ok with this or what to do about it. \n\nShe keeps telling me not to think about it and that as long as she isn't too tired she will pretty much always have sex with me whenever I want it but she doesnt understand what sexual attraction really means and why it is so important that I be sexually desired by the person I'm having sex with. \n\nDoes anyone out there know anything about asexuality? Are there any no -asexual who have been with or are currently with an asexual person? Any advise or information would be very helpful.", "summary": "my girlfriend thinks she may be asexual. She says sex feels good but she doesn't have a drive for it. I need advise."} {"id": "t3_3ed6ig", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "My cat keeps pooping on my bathroom floor?", "post": "I have two cats and they're on the older side (one is 14 years old, the other is about 8 years old). We've had both of them since they were kittens and have raised them with tons of love and attention.\n\nRecently (over the past year), one of them (or both, who knows) have been consistently pooping on my bathroom floor. Nothing new was in the bathroom, no new cleaning supplies, etc. At first they were pooping in the shower, but now they're doing it on the floor. I've tried changing out the bath mats, and even removing the mats completely, but the cat continues to poop on the floor.\n\nI'm not sure what to do. They are both litter trained and don't poop/pee anywhere else in the house. I don't understand why they're doing it, and I have no idea how to get them to stop.\n\nExtra info: my two cats get along. They're not best friends, but I would consider them \"friends\" (as much as cats can be at least). They've gotten along the entire time we've had them. There's usually people home all the time to love them and give them attention. Their litter boxes are upkept and cleaned frequently. The only thing I can POSSIBLY think of is that sometimes the house is empty for about a week but that only happens when we go on vacation which is normally only 1 or 2 weeks a year....", "summary": "My well-cared for and loved cats that have never had this issue before have been pooping on my bathroom floor and nothing I do seems to get them to stop."} {"id": "t3_4z6yae", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[IN] Apartment charging for pet damages when I didn't have a pet!?", "post": "[Indiana, USA]\nSo my wife and I were stuck renting a place short term while we waited for our house build to be completed. We signed a 4 month lease that just ended on Aug. 8th. We hardly unpacked anything and basically lived out of boxes. The carpet was in the exact same condition as it was when we first moved in. However, we recieved a nice surpise in the mail yesterday, it was an invoice for $600 for replacing the carpet due to pet damage. We didn't pay any pet deposit or pet rent because we didn't have any pet. We did notice after we moved in that one of the doors had dog chew marks on it and we figured that the previous tenant was a pet owner. Now here is my f*ck-up...we didn't take any pictures. We were naive in our thinking that the place looked just like when we moved in. I called this morning and asked for pictures of the carpet that they say is \"damaged\" and I also asked when the carpet was last replaced. I 100% think that they are screwing us into paying for them to replace carpet that we did not damage. They said that they have a \"3rd party\" carpet guy come out and determine if the carpet needs cleaned or a full replacement. Now obviously this person would have a clear motivation to say the carpet needs replace every chance he got. They also said that they take pictures of the bottom of the carpet, but how would they know that there is damage underneath it if they didn't already rip it out? I know for an absolute certainty there were no surface stains at all. It all seems really sketchy to me and I want to fight it as far as I can. I'm afraid that without pictures I have any recourse. Also is there any way that I could get them to let us know if the previous tenant was a pet owner?", "summary": "Apartment is claiming our carpet had \"pet damage\" after our 4 month lease. They are charging us $600 and we didn't even have a pet. I've got no pictures...am I screwed?"} {"id": "t3_xui3t", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I had to put down our cat while my wife is out of town for two weeks. How can I break the news to her and try to comfort her without her freaking out?", "post": "So our pet cat, Kevin, was attacked by a raccoon or something and had to be put down last night. I found him injured and assumed it was something minor so I brought him to the emergency vet. I thought it would just be a routine wound cleaning with some medication. His breathing was very awkward though and the doctor wanted to get some x-rays so I agreed. About fifteen minutes later the doctor comes in and tells me he has massive internal injuries (to the point where he was certain he was going to die in a couple of hours anyway). He said he may have been thrown around by a dog or raccoon, or even hit by a car. So I made the tough decision to have him put down. \n\nI didn't think I was going to get upset, but I broke down crying and that is extremely rare for me (It's just an animal right?). I think I'm mostly just sad that I have to tell my wife who is going to be hysterical. She is also out of town for two more weeks and I feel like I won't be able to comfort her.\n\nAny ideas?", "summary": "I had to put our cat down due to traumatic injuries and I have to tell my wife tonight. Unsure how to break the news to her and comfort her after."} {"id": "t3_449unc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my crush [18 F] a few days- Kissing Problem", "post": "So recently I met this girl that I thought was cute so I asked for her number and started to talk to her. I have been in a serious relationship of a few years while she has never been in a serious relationship.\n\nWe decided to hangout and study for a bit together. We talk lots, have similar interests and both have mutual feelings for each other. \n\nAs I was about to go I decided to try and get in a kiss. So I went and we started to kiss.\n\nProblem is she wasn't that great of a kisser. I knew she wanted to kiss because she had purposely moved herself into a position to kiss me as I am taller than 6 feet and she is a bit shorter around 5 in a half feet.\n\nShe opened her mouth pretty wide, didn't use any tongue (which I know some people aren't into but her mouth was open pretty wide when we kissed so I thought it would be expected). Also her head was in strange spot so it was hard to position my lips against hers. If I had to describe it I would probably say it was like a fish that would open and close its mouth.\n\nI think that I might be her first kiss and it feels awkward to bring up the topic to her seeing as I am more experienced and she is likely knew to everything. I also feel bad as I can't say I am her first kiss and don't really know how to deal with it. How do I bring up a conversation like this or make it easier for the both of us. On top of that how can I improve her kissing habits.", "summary": "Crush isn't the best kisser and I think I might be her first. How do I bring up the topic and fix the issue?"} {"id": "t3_1br2dl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24F] wanted to take my fiance [25M] to the doctor, his mom stepped in, and now I feel...?", "post": "So my [24f] fiance [25m] has been having some medical issues recently. Last week, he had several doctor's appointments and took the day off. His mom drove from about 30 minutes away to go with him since he was having an MRI, EEG, and eye appointment in the same day. \n\nOne of the doctor's told him he'd have to get a lumbar puncture, which he is very nervous and upset over, especially considering they wanted him to get it the same week. I am worried sick, but am keeping it nonchalant and light so it won't make him feel worse. When he was talking to the doctor about when/what time to make the appointment, I told him to tell me what it was so I could go with him/hold his hand/drive him to and from the appointment (he's not allowed to drive himself). \n\nWell, he made the appointment this afternoon, and right afterwards he called his mother and let her know what was going on. She told him she will be driving him around and go with him to the appointment. He agreed, and told me he wasn't sure if I'd be able to take the time off so he just said she could.\n\nI don't know what I'm feeling right now. I can't tell if I'm upset that I won't be the one there to comfort him or if I'm upset that he didn't let me know first. I know it's his mother, but I sort of feel like a failure, like it's my job to be doing all of this and taking care of him. I can't even put words to it. Any insight? Am I being ridiculous?", "summary": "SO going through some medical issues, wanted to be the one there for him and mom will be instead. Feeling knocked down a peg. "} {"id": "t3_2paz93", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Are these signs that thesr two girls are flirting with me?", "post": "So, there are two girls in my highschool who I think they are kind of atractive and I get along quite well with both. While I'm not in love with any of them, I feel like they are interesting and worth giving them a shot, but I'm kinda shy and suffer from anxiety, so I'm afraid to fuck up and I only want to make a move if they are kind of interested in me.\n\nOne of the girls is my class mate, she sits by my side. We used to be in the same class in elementary, and 6 or 7 years later we end up together again.\n\n- She sometimes jokes about how \"we are made to each other because we always end up together\" and laughs about it;\n\n- She laughs at almost anything I say in class (anything slightly funny at least);\n\n- She sometimes asks me to touch her leg to \"feel her muscle\"(?) or complaining that her legs are fat.\n\n- There is a lot of leg contact in class, but she doesn't seem to mind.\n\nI met the other girl because we use the same bus stop, and we have some common friends. We don't talk too much, we just chat a bit when we meet in school or we just share a seat on a bus.\n\n- She high-fives me a lot, and squeezes my hand when we do;\n\n- She asks me to \"feel her muscles\" on her leg and her abdominals;\n\n- She punches me jokingly a lot or just pats my head or arm.\n\nAre any of the signs I listed a way of any of them flirting with me or so? I may be overthinking, but I am really aware of my surroundings, so I notice these things a lot. But I'm also socially oblivious and have no idea of what they mean. Please help me, guys.", "summary": "These girls seem to be flirting with me, but I'm unsure about the signs and I'm afraid to make a move."} {"id": "t3_3lheig", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by telling the teacher who I like.", "post": "So this story happened back in 6th grade. One day in class we were doing an activity where we get an M&M and we have to say something depending on what my color of my M&M corresponds to. Welp with my luck I got a red M&M which says who I like. Being the savage 6th grader I am I told who I like instead of saying something stupid. The class really didn't care that much tbh. Fast forward to lunch, I sit at the lunch table next to my crush's table. I was walking to throw away my trash when suddenly my teacher up and said to my crush LITTLETOT WANTS TO GO OUT WITH YOU FOR THE DANCE(it was the day before the dance) suddenly every one in the cafeteria started getting up and screaming. My crush was shaking her head, and basically said no.The whole cafeteria saw me get rejected. That was embarrassing me for the whole school year. To make it worse she rides my bus everyday and lives in the same neighborhood. Lesson learned is that never tell the teacher who you like.", "summary": "told my teacher who I like, my teacher asked her out for me in front of the whole cafeteria, and got "} {"id": "t3_3fokef", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22F] roommate [24F] wants to move her boyfriend [24M] and their cat into our three bedroom apartment.", "post": "So, in June I moved into a new place, taking over my friend Aaron's room. Aaron is dating Julia, who is still a current roommate. However, Aaron recently decided he was moving back, and would stay in our 3 bed 1 bath apartment in Julia's room. They didn't even ask me or the other roommate if this was okay. Also, originally they said Aaron would only pay half of Julia's rent, but later said they would pay equal parts if I would let them stay. However, he has a cat, which is against the lease. The landlord originally said he did not want four people living there. They planned on moving him in anyway, but finally convinced the landlord to allow a fourth.\n\nI've made it very clear that I do not want to violate the lease. They just keep saying they don't have any other choice, and I don't either. My dad cosigned the lease, and is considering sending our record of text messages to the landlord. I don't want it to reach this point, but not sure what else to do. I don't feel like I'm overreacting, but I'm getting tons of guilt trips/light blackmail from them.", "summary": "Roommate wants to break our lease agreement, I do not. She claims we either go in this together, or we all have to leave. How do I handle this from here?"} {"id": "t3_1vr7kb", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "Thinking about getting a second cat, have some questions", "post": "I've searched, so I know the basics of bringing a new cat home, but my situation leaves me with some questions.\n\nKatie is a 10-month-old barn cat. She's been with me and strictly indoor since she was 12 weeks old, but she is sassy and spastic as hell. We've had playdates with other people's cats, and she has always terrorized them, even though she's tiny. My best friend's 13 pound Mane Coon hides whenever they've been together. \n\nIs she too much of a terrorist to adapt to another cat?\n\nAlso, my apartment only has one inside door, in the bathroom, and my bathroom is tiny. To keep them separate for a bit, would keeping the newbie in the bathroom be ok?\n\nKatie lived with two rabbits for a couple months, and got along great with them, but I'm definitely not getting a rabbit (I lost so many cords in my 2.5 months of living with rabbits).\n\nShe is seriously tiny. She's maybe 7 pounds, was the runt of her litter, and hasn't gotten any bigger for a few months.", "summary": "I think my cat could use a friend, but she's always terrorizing any other cat she's met. My apartment is small. Could I get another cat and keep him in my bathroom?"} {"id": "t3_4extvh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my new flirt [22F] of a month, She wants a lot of sex, I do too, but not this much", "post": "Okay so... I haven't been in a real relationship before (nothing more than 8-9 months) and the sex has always faded down to once or twice a week. I met this AWESOME and AMAZING girl by coincidence, and I am really starting to fall for her. We took things slow, and didn't start sexual intercourse untill 3 weeks or so passed.\n\nNow, She wants it all the time. Which is awesome. Except she wants it too much, and I am not comfortable declining. Today we had sex 7 times, in which I 'finished' in the first 5, which meant I could barely breathe the 6th and 7th time. I asked her how much she usually has, and told her I was used to once or twice a week, but could do more. She literally gasped at this, and told me she wanted atleast once everytime we saw eachother - atleast when its appropriate. \n\nI don't mind this, but I've never really turned down sex before, and I need to know how to do it without hurting her feelings or make her feel inadequate. I know it's probably every guys dream, and I must admit I am quite thrilled she wants more than me - I just don't know if I can keep up.", "summary": "new girlfriend wants a lot of sex, nice, but maybe a bit too much. Any ideas on how to reject properly should I need to?"} {"id": "t3_1zvhee", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Expiration Date from the start, but growing more attached every day. [24/m] and [22/f]", "post": "Somehow, the Tinder gods decided to get together and band two awkward, driven people into a relationship instead of a quick fling.\n\nThe issue is that we're going to be launching into new places in our lives starting in May. For me, I am in law school and obtained an amazing Summer Associate gig across the country, and she is shipping off to Medical School about 1500 miles away in the fall.\n\nWe agreed when we decided to become official that this was going to be a temporary relationship but we'd just have fun and enjoy the ride.\n\nThe issue is that I really think we're beginning to really fall hard for each other. We generally see each other every couple of days, but earlier this week, she straight up told me she begins to miss me every day when we don't see each other, and I told her the other day that it sucks when we only converse via SMS.\n\nWe've been presenting ourselves as a couple and have gone on many double dates with each of our friends, and the tension keeps building as the date draws closer and closer.\n\nWe both understand that we can't renege on our commitments, as we will ultimately come to resent each other if one of us takes the plunge and finds an alternative route for the summer or fall. We also agreed that a LTR is going to pretty much fail from the get-go.\n\nShould I try to break this off now, or should I just keep enjoying the ride until the beginning of summer when the expiration date hits?", "summary": "Should I throw out the milk I know I'm not going to finish drinking now, or should I wait until it spoils?"} {"id": "t3_dec0n", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So, my wife left me for another man (men) and left me with a pile of debt and 2 kids... What can I do?", "post": "A little back story...\nWe have been married for 9 years and have 2 (wonderful) kids together. Over the last 2 years, life became more difficult between us after throwing 2 kids into the mix. I long suspected that she was cheating on me after our son was born 2 years ago, but one day we were on the way back from a trip to her parents place when she told me that she was leaving me and that she wanted a divorce. Being shocked at this sudden revelation, I tried everything to get back together with her for my sanity and the kids' sake, but to not avail. She moved in right away with another guy, so I know it must have been brewing for a while, but she left me to deal with a mortgage, tons of credit card debt accrued during her many stints without employment and shopaholic rage spending, 2 kids and all their needs thrown in and now lawyer fees. I just got a notice that they are going to garnish my wages for a hospital bill that she got and never paid since I am the only person with a job right now. It also turns out that she was fired recently for \"lewd activity\" with one of her boyfriends while she was on the job. Is there anything I can do? My life is turned upside-down and as I am trying to get back on my feet for my kids, I get blindsided by her craziness and lack of responsibility. Have any of you gone through this sort of mess? Any tips you can give me would be greatly appreciated. I know how amazing the reddit community is with giving advice to those in need, so, please... How can I get my life back in order.", "summary": "My soon to be ex left me for multiple other men and left me with 2 kids, a pile of debt and collectors knocking down my door. How do i survive?"} {"id": "t3_gnqk9", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Friend-Zoned?", "post": "I am a 16 year old high school sophomore who has liked a girl my age since I met her two years ago, but due to her being in a relationship, I haven't asked her out. She became single several months ago, and came over to my house to watch some movies and chill.\n\nI was wondering if I had been friend zoned and if I should ask her out. I noticed she sat close to me, ruffled my hair playfully and asked me for a ride home. Any suggestions?\n\nAnd there's a parade coming up this weekend, so I was thinking I'd ask her to that, and she if she wanted to get coffee before hand at a new cafe that she told me she'd like to try.", "summary": "Liked girl for awhile, she became single several months ago. She came over recently, and displayed what looked like signs of affection.What should be my next move?"} {"id": "t3_3f131x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girl [25] I'm [24M] seeing is into really hard drugs and partying and sees me as boring because I'm not.", "post": "So this girl I've been meeting with for the past month or so is great, really into her. However she is a seriously hard partier, hard drug fuelled raves and what not 3 or 4 nights of the week and whilst this doesn't bother me so much, she says I'm really boring for turning down her offers to these events. Her saying this recently has really started to bother me. I want to be exciting and be involved with this part of her life but truth be told I don't really have the balls to try taking the heavy stuff she does and I think me going to these events tagging along with her group sipping a beer isn't really going to help the 'boring' image of me in her head.\n\nAdvice on how to approach handling this situation reddit? Her words of describing me as very normal and a bit boring have hurt me a little worst as it's had time to distil in my mind. Am I boring because I don't like snort cocaine nightly?", "summary": "Advice on my situation please; girl I'm seeing thinks I'm boring because I don't like hard drugs and partying like she does"} {"id": "t3_31yt9v", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "It's so hard to get a rescue.", "post": "I have spent nearly 4 weeks scouring petfinder and adoptapet website for a great dog that I like and would suit house and home life. \n\nThey have either already \n\n* been adopted, \n* not suitable because I'm not an experienced handler (they didn't actually say he was abused till I inquired about him) or \n* told I can't have it because I live in an apartment (850sq ft) or \n* I work 8 hrs/day and can't care for a dog appropriately.\n\nI have filled out 14 different applications because my summarized bullet form explaining my intentions and ability to provide is not their application only to be told that the dogs I inquire after are not suitable for me. I've met two dogs with the serious intention to foster to adopt only to have families that have yards meet them after and get them instead.\n\nI understand that the rescues have the dogs best intentions at heart. I don't want to import an rescue when there are dogs needing rescue here... I get that a yard is always going to be better than without one but does that mean I can't get a dog till \n\n* I'm rich enough to buy a house (I live in friggen Vancouver, I need $700K to get a doozy of a house) and then \n* retire so I have time but no energy to walk the dog every hour? \n\nI have absolutely no plans of quitting my job any time soon. How does anybody else do it?!!?!?!", "summary": "I spent a lot of time and effort filling out many forms for many rescue dogs and not getting anywhere despite they say I'm a decent candidate. I'm pissed off and really really frustrated.***"} {"id": "t3_1cxpzz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "29/f want to end the relationship and move out, but feel bad because of a very expensive lease", "post": "I've tried absolutely everything to fix my nearly 4 year relationship. I put myself into it entirely, but almost a year ago I realized it wasn't salvageable (at the core, we want different things). It completely broke my heart.\n\nNow...I told my SO about a month ago that I'm not happy and haven't been for a long time. I didn't make any ultimatums, but I explained what was wrong and possible solutions. Nothing changed. As usual ambivalence prevailed. We aren't intimate in any way anymore and essentially live as roommates (but my SO still sees us as bf/gf and I haven't said anything \"officially\"). \n\nWhere it becomes troubling: I was happy to ride this out until the (very) expensive lease on our apartment, then break the bad news (about 6 months away.) Then, I meet a person I'm very interested in. I explained the situation, and they understood. But, now what? I refuse to date someone behind my SOs back just because they're apathetic and unresponsive in the relationship. Also, I can't just say \"hey have fun making rent.\"\n\nSo now, I'm in a relationship I haven't been emotionally involved in for months. Met someone, but would feel too bad to just leave with all the bills.\n\nI have no idea what to do.", "summary": "have been ready to leave a relationship for months, but wanted to wait it out for the sake of keeping financials easier. Met someone else, not sure what now."} {"id": "t3_zmqlf", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[18/m] inexperienced dating with (18/f) - I think the relationship is disintegrating.", "post": "I apologize for the sloppy writing and rambling story, I'm a terrible writer when talking about myself but I really need some better advice than my friend are giving me (\"dump her and pick some chick up at a party\").\nSo I met this girl three weeks ago and we were hanging out for probably at least six hours a day for about a week and I asked her on a date and we have been on several dates since then. I think we get along very well and our interests and personalities align very closely. I haven't seen her for three days and have no definite plans to see her until next Sunday. Whenever I ask if she wants to meet for a bit or do something that we usually do together (gym, study, etc.) she has been telling me she is busy. I'm not sure if she is legitimately busy and if I'm just overreacting, or she's trying to distance herself from me. A few days ago I told her I was getting mixed signals and asked her if she wanted to date or not, and she told me she did. When I text her it usually takes a really long time for her to respond (5 or 6 hours), but she told me she was going to be really busy and probably unable to do stuff with me for a while. I feel like she might be trying to distance herself from me, but since she is unable to meet I can't get a read on her feelings. Should I ask if the plans for next weekend are still on, or how can I be more subtle about trying to figure out if she's still interested? I have very limited dating experience and this is the most serious relationship (even though it's only been like 4 dates) I've ever been in.", "summary": "I'm wrote a really shitty recap of my relationship that is probably incomprehensible to anyone but me. If somehow anyone can make sense of it please give me some advice."} {"id": "t3_34r4ne", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Would it be out of line for me[33F] to mention Mothers Day to my friends[38F] husband[42M]?", "post": "A married couple I've been friends with for more than a decade had a baby last year, two months before Mothers Day. The wife, Erin, was really upset that her husband didn't do anything to celebrate it. It wasn't a huge deal, but it mattered enough that she vented to me about it a few times.\n\nThe thing is, her husband Mark is generally awful with holidays and special occasions. He doesn't really see the point in most of them and participates as little as possible. He's not a very materialistic person and I think he kind of morally objects to how commercialized it all gets.\n\nBut it would mean so much to Erin if they just went to the park for a couple hours as a family for Mothers Day. Or something else simple... She's not materialistic either, I know she'd be ecstatic to spend time together doing something free. And I'd like to mention that to her husband.\n\nI generally try to avoid interfering in friends relationships at all. The way they interact is up to them, I'm just the friend who listens if they need to vent about something. This is going to be an ongoing issue, though. She had the baby, she's stuck being a mother for the rest of her life. I guess I don't want to be stuck listening to her bitch about mothers day for the rest of mine.", "summary": "Friends husband doesn't do well with holidays. Should I mention how much it would mean to his wife if he made a small effort?"} {"id": "t3_4zh5mb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] want to try and talk to a close friend of mine [18F] and create a romantic relationship. BUT, she's busy with school things and every time we hang out, there ends up being extra people.", "post": "Hi /r/relationships! There's not a lot to the situation other than the title. I've been really good friends with this girl for years, and she's been there with me for a lot of tough struggles. I really like her a lot, and although she's kind of out of my league, she obviously likes me enough to be her friend. She's recently single, and I want to try and see how things would go in a romantic relationship. I don't know if I'm really ready for that, but I'm pretty sure it's what I want.\n\nThe biggest issue I have is time. She got onto the drumline for our university this year, and while I'm so happy for her, it's also a bummer, because she has a crazy schedule, and I haven't had nearly as much communication with her as I'm used too. Every time I want to hang out, she wants to bring someone from band. It's come up in casual conversation (with others there) that she's still single and doesn't want to date guys on the line, but I'm just worried that someone better than me is going to come along before I get a chance to talk to her. I don't really think I want to try and have this sort of conversation drunk.\n\nI don't know what to do or what to say. I've never really been good with girls, and I have pitiful relationship experience. I just want this to work so badly.", "summary": "I have a huge crush on my friend and want to ask her out, but she's a busy music major; I feel like I'm going to miss my chance or something, and I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_2ufuv6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by disregarding my father.", "post": "Today I realized I fucked up by disregarding my father.\n\n**backstory** : \n\n First, I was born in South Korea and during my childhood ( birth - 2nd grade), my father constantly flied back and forth to U.S.A and Korea. I don't have any memories of any bonding time with him due to that reason. \n\n We later decided to move into USA for better living conditions. My father would mostly be at work and I would only see him for about 10-15 minutes a day. Because I wasn't fluent in english, I didn't make as many friends in school and at home, I usually played game on the computer. It went to the point that I became completely reliant on the computer for entertainment and became addicted to games. Due to those factors, I became a stereotypical asian who spends his whole day on a computer.\n\n Fast foward to 2/1/2015, my father recently lost his job but found a job in a different state( 1-2 hours from where i currently live). He cannot commute frequently so he will live in that state. Realizing that this meant I would see him 1-2 times a month (if I'm lucky), I felt remorseful about the times I didn't spend with him that I spent on games. \n\n I learned what it meant when other people say you should value your friends/family more until you realize they are gone. I know he is not completely gone from me in any sort of way but, it is heartbreaking to face the fact that 16 years and 9 months of my life have been unresponsively spent when I could have hung out with my dad more often.", "summary": "Played too much video games, didn't spend time with my dad. Dad is off to another state to work. I am remorseful about not spending time with him"} {"id": "t3_40akse", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21F) gave my current roommate (22F) 2 months to move out and she hasn't even started looking for a new place", "post": "About a week ago, I told my roommate that she had to find a new place. I've been wanting to kick her out for over 5 months but I didn't have the support of my other roommates, so she refused to move. Now i have all of their support. We talked to her over group text because we were all out of town. She claimed that she never does anything wrong. We listed everything she did and she denied everything. She has a cat and never cleans it. I share a room with her and all i can smell in there is cat shit. The other roommates claim they can smell it in the hallway as well. She doesn't want my boyfriend in our room because she doesn't feel comfortable around him, yet she'll bring different guys in there even though I feel uncomfortable. She didn't tell the other roommates she was having a party and she was going to let her dad spend the night while we were gone for Christmas so he could care for her cat. She also laughs and yells at the top of her lungs in the middle of the night while every one is sleeping. I asked for a clean, consideration, and quiet roommate and she isn't any of that. She is so oblivious. She really believes she is perfect. During the group text she blamed me for all the mess and claimed that we were all attacking her for no reason. We never signed her on to the lease. I want her out in a month but she keeps trying to buy more time. I can't handle the smell of cat shit anymore. It gives me a headache and I'm not comfortable in my own room anymore. I stopped being nice but she doesn't take me seriously. I don't know how to handle her anymore.", "summary": "I told my roommate that she needed to find a new place to live by mid February but she doesn't take me seriously."} {"id": "t3_mup9d", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can using \"Ipod locational service\" be valid proof of catching someone who stole your ipod?", "post": "So my gf just recently got her Ipod touch stolen from her bag at school. She wasn't happy about it obviously, but she took it maturely and she went on the itunes thing with the locational services thing. She changed the passcode lock and she found out the location of the person when they used the wifi, and noticed they changed the name of the ipod. My question is, can this information be used as evidence, that the person who lives there possibly stole it? I mean i'm pretty sure you can't just track random ipods...... that would be a bit creepy haha", "summary": "girlfriend got her ipod stolen used locational services to find where her ipod is and currently has the address of the person. Wondering if this information is considered \"valid\" evidence."} {"id": "t3_2ofjbd", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Explain hair sticks to me. More importantly give me advice if I need to re-create my anniversary gift, last minute style.", "post": "So, about 4 months into dating my S/O we were going out for some semi-fancy event. For this event my S/O wore this awesome 'Chinese' dress and put her hair up with hair sticks; on her first attempt to put up her hair, the stick snapped (it was a nicer looking chopstick). To date she has always worn her hair up when she dresses up.\n\nQueue me buying her, among several other things, a total of 7 new hand crafted ebony hair sticks for our anniversary. I assumed the hair stick snapped because it was a chop-stick, and thus a poor hair-stick. However today as we're wandering through a store when we see hair sticks and she states \"Oh I need more of these! But I usually need the longer ones. My hair is so thick it snaps them\". I tried to keep a neutral face but my mind started racing!\n\nI wouldn't call her hair thick, but there is a lot of it with a natural loose curl, and she keeps it at mid-upperarm length. Natural redhead. [Here is a picture of her hair](\n\nSo... Do I need to go out an try and find some longer hair sticks in the last minute, or will the superior quality(I hope it is superior) of the custom made hair sticks get the job done? Is it really more dependent on the way she styles her bun? Other advice?", "summary": "Bought S/O Hair sticks as a anniversary/Xmas gift. Today casually mentions she usually needs longer ones then the ones I bought. Do I need to scramble and go get new ones?"} {"id": "t3_487k29", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by eating foreign chocolate", "post": "This several years ago when I was in high school, but the topic came up today so I figured I'd post it.\n\nI really like German chocolate. A grocery story near my house used to have a really nice selection of German chocolates and I used to enjoy picking some up whenever we went shopping.\n\nOne particular time I decided to try something new. I was attracted to the bar due to it's large size. It read \"Marzipan\" along the packaging. Having no clue what it was I figured I'd give it a shot. I poured a glass of milk, opened up the chocolate and took as large of a bite as I could. My mouth was over-run with sweet, so much so that it tasted very bitter. I ran for the trash can to spit it out, and felt a little sick after. The next day it was explained to me by my German teacher that you're only supposed to eat very small bites of marzipan at a time, not half of the bar. I took a short break from German chocolate after that, but when I went to buy some again the store had stopped carrying foreign chocolates.", "summary": "I bought some chocolate with marzipan in it not knowing what it was. I ate more than you're supposed to so it was very bitter and I almost got sick. Store stopped selling German chocolate shortly after."} {"id": "t3_vjmkm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "deciding when it's time to marry...(throwaway here)", "post": "So my partner of over two years (M/25) and I(F/22) have been discussing marriage lately after he brought it up two different times. No official proposal yet, just talking about how we both feel about the concept of marriage, what we would expect and desire out of it, and when we'd like it to happen. We've really been talking about these things for a long time now, including our thoughts on children, work, and general life trajectory. We've been living together for most of our relationship, too (moved in together after a couple months of dating). We also have made two major cross-country moves together because of school, share bills, a car, etc. In many ways we are already living a \"married\" life now.\n\nI am very confident he is the right person for me and I know he feels the same. My question is, are there things we should discuss before agreeing to marry? I know this is a huge life decision and I don't want to rush into this without thinking clearly first. But I'm not going to lie, I am so giddy with excitement just thinking about him and getting to spend the rest of my life with him! (obligitory yay me!)", "summary": "Partner and I are discussing marriage and I'd love advice on thinking about the decision and things the two of us should discuss."} {"id": "t3_15aiy5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Facebook interactions between me [20m] and [19f]", "post": "I have been really close friends with this girl for about 4 months and we have sort of a pseudo-relationship going now and at this point I subtly try to flirt with her and she usually enjoys it however the other day I posted something on her wall that i'm assuming she didnt want to be seen by everybody and so she deleted it and I feel really bad so I want to apologize but I feel like it would be weird to bring it up to her because it would reveal that I had been on her page like three days in a row and that might sound a little creeperly... How should I go about bringing it up with her without making it seem like I facebook stalk her daily... oh and another thing we're now long distance from each other", "summary": "Posted somthing dumb on an potential SOs fb wall and she deleted it and dont know how to bring it up with her to apologize"} {"id": "t3_1kbrak", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16M] am about to enter my first relationship with a [16F] who cuts herself. Advice needed", "post": "**Conclusion", "summary": "Known cutter girl and I start talking this spring, she breaks up with boyfriend of two years so I can step up. Today I saw fresh cuts, I am spooked"} {"id": "t3_3k4kfq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 F] with my girlfriend [25 F] of a year, not sure how to handle situation regarding her old crush?", "post": "We have been together for about a year. She has always been in touch with an old crush of a few years of hers, whom she no longer has romantic feelings for, and whom was diagnosed with depression from a previous relationship gone wrong. When we got together, said old crush/friend was not informed. It was acceptable to me since the reason given by my girlfriend was that it was presumptous to bring up her relationship status out of the blue (a few of her closest friends do know about me). \n\nNow I've always suspected her old crush has feelings for her. They do meet up 1 on 1 about once every 2 months, mostly till late night. They text about thrice a week, and this girl gives presents and also sends \"cutesy\" pictures of herself to my girlfriend. This has caused some strain on our relationship but nothing severe, and my girlfriend has always assured me she no longer has feelings for this girl. However, she has said she will try to tell her old crush about our relationship, but nothing has materialised as of yet. \n\nNow a couple of days ago this girl confessed her feelings to my girlfriend after a meetup. She was rejected, but that night still sent a picture of herself to my girlfriend, and continued texting until 2-3 am. I have urged my girlfriend to break the news to this girl that she is attached, but my girlfriend says that this is going to severely upset the girl, especially given her depression. They are still texting, and may possibly meet up in the future. I have tried not to let all this affect me, but the discomfort and insecurity is slowly eating me from within. Girlfriend is absolutely great otherwise; I may be turning into a paranoid bitch. I'm not requesting they terminate their friendship, but it makes me feel awful especially to see the other girl's (borderline flirtatious?) texts, who doesn't even have a clue about me.", "summary": "girlfriend's old crush confessed her feelings, has no idea she's already attached and may not know for long. Should I just suck it up and go with it?"} {"id": "t3_4kyhr4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [33M] think my girlfriend [33M] of 2 months may be a bit controlling/codependent.", "post": "Hello, \n\nI've been dating this girl whom I've really enjoyed spending time with. We were supposed to hang out on Sunday and I wasn't feeling good so took a nap. When I was napping, she left a message and I called her right when I woke up and said sorry for missing her call and asked if she would still like to hang out (there was still plenty of time). \n\nShe told me she didn't want to hang out and that she was mad. She said she feels like I just get to her whenever I want. I assured her that wasn't the case, and again, offered to make it up to her. \n\nI didn't engage in an argument because that isn't my style, and I just listened. I told her that if she changes her mind and wants to spend time together to let me know. Well, I haven't heard from her or seen her in 3 days. \n\nAnd this is one example. She recently wanted me to change what her name said on my phone. I find that I'm apologizing a lot for things which are just part of being me. She seems to want to \"correct\" a lot of my behavior. I buy her flowers, give her cupcakes and take her out to dinner. I listen to her when she's having a bad day and try to make her day brighter. I speak kindly to her, make her laugh, give her orgasms, etc. etc. I feel like I'm doing the best I can. \n\nSo right now I'm having a hard time calling her because I feel like she is just doing this to get my attention, which isn't really fair, or mature. I have responsibilities in my life to tend to and I don't think I should have to play cat and mouse. \n\nAny thoughts? What would you do?", "summary": "Haven't seen/heard from girlfriend in 3 days. Sometimes I feel like she wants to change me/call the shots. "} {"id": "t3_366ck8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M20] am suspicious of my girlfriends [F21] snapchat.", "post": "So I recently downloaded snapchat, I never really have used it before but wanted to give it a try. I know my girlfriend used to use it a year or so ago but claimed to delete it, because she said it was useless.\n\nOnce I created an account I went to the add contacts feature and saw that my girlfriend did in fact have one, so I added her. We sent a few snaps and that was it.\n\nThe next day she deletes her account and her reason is she never really uses it. For some reason this made me feel sort of suspicious. What do you guys think?", "summary": "Gf said she doesn't have snapchat, I create an account and see that she does, add her, she deletes her account."} {"id": "t3_3y6nrj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [29M] relatives leave my wife [27F] out of their Christmas giving, but her relatives are so generous to me.", "post": "So my wife and I are having a great holiday - we're a little more strapped for cash than usual this year, but we (mostly she, I have to give it to her) have found ways to still make everything work. She is an absolute rockstar at making things special on a budget.\n\nOur issue, or rather, my issue I guess, has to do with in-laws. Her family has welcomed me with open arms. They're loving to her and to me by extension, and I have always been included in holiday gifts. And her family is *very* generous with presents. My family, on the other hand, sends me a couple gifts every year. The only indication that they even remember my wife exists is when they send a Christmas card. For example, my grandmother will buy a card that says, \"Merry Christmas to my grandson\" and scribble in \"and wife\" as an afterthought. Sometimes it's smudged and can't even be read.\n\nFor a few years, I've tries to casually mention that I think it might be a little more appropriate for them to buy us a joint gift or something so that it is a gift for my wife too. I've mentioned how it feels really nice for me to be included *equally* by my wife's family. I don't think it has had any effect.\n\nWhat's worse is that they give me home goods type stuff that very well *could* be addressed to both myself and my wife, because we have the same home for cryin' out loud. It's just starting to feel that they're trying to alienate her on purpose. They have made a lot of comments about how it is a \"cultural thing\" because my wife and her family are Asian and are probably more rich so they are more extravagant.", "summary": "My family leaves my wife out of their Christmas gifts, even though my in-laws are very generous with *me*. Starting to feel intentional. Should I say something about this to my relatives after Christmas?"} {"id": "t3_3943hy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(Minor issue) I [18 M] feel my girlfriend [16 F] is kind of unfair sometimes.", "post": "Like I said in the title, it's a small thing. Basically, we both have foods we cannot stand the smell of. I really hate mint especially, the smell is very off-putting, and there are a few other things. She will still regularly eat these things around me, which would be fine. I can deal with a bad smell however gross I find it.\n\nWould be. But the things she doesn't like (mostly cheese) are expressly forbidden from being eaten around her. She gets annoyed if I even suggest it and 'reminds' me that she hates it.\n\nSo is this really inconsiderate or is it just me?\n\nAnd yes, I know how petty this is.", "summary": "my girlfriend eats food I hate around me but won't have me do the same around her. Am I right to be annoyed by this?"} {"id": "t3_1hx73c", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Last minute mini-wedding/kinda eloping. Need help!", "post": "My boyfriend and I decided we want to get married a few weeks ago, and we are going to do it NEXT MONTH!! We live in Hawaii with NO family and just about 10 friends we made here on island. We figured people spend thousands for this kind of destination wedding so it makes sense for us to have a small one here and when we move back mainland in a few years have another bigger ceremony for friends and family. \n\nDoes anyone have recommendations for sites to help organize this chaos? Would it be rude to not have a reception and just ask the island friends to join us at Dave & Busters for drinks and games?\n\nMy brother is getting married on Friday back in my home state so we will be telling all my family AFTER their reception. (Not about to steal someone else's special day.)\n\nAll help appreciated fellow brides!! :)", "summary": "Crash wedding in August with no set date needs to be planned quickly and relatively low key. What do I need to know and where can I go for help?"} {"id": "t3_30830g", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (27) girlfriend (25) of 5 years told me a year back she kissed a friend when she was drunk", "post": "So a little background first... we met in college, I graduated first, she did about a year after me, but still had schooling so moved back home to finish her master's degree. That meant we were 2 hours apart and speak on on the phone every night and see each other every weekend.We've been long distance about two years and now looking at places to move in, but then she drops a bomb on me. \n\nShe tells me she kissed a guy friend (that we both know) on a trip with her girlfriends. BTW this is the second time she told me she has kissed someone when she was drunk. She goes on.. but I was drunk, it was nothing, I just felt so bad , I just had to tell you, I love you so much so I had to tell you. \n\nAt this point I don't know what to do. Basically no emotion except confusion. Thinking to myself what the fuck should I do? I teller I'm upset, but that's it. I have not raised my voice once since this happened and am now just going through the motions day to day. \n\nShe is heartbroken and wishes she never told me, so we can move in and get on with life. If I bring up anything about needing some time, she is in shambles and I can't help but console her. I know if breakup with her she would never get over it, but I don't know if or how I could ever trust word her again.. \n\nDo I end it? Or do I wait to see if things get better? PLEASE HELP", "summary": "Girlfriend of 5 years tells me she kissed a guy drunkenly a year ago. This is the second time this situation has occurred. Should I stay? Should I go? Either way, how do I move on?"} {"id": "t3_1dgsmb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do you deal with anger? (story inside)", "post": "My Father is a nice guy and all, however i get so mad when he acts like he is a badass and does stuff just to ''prove'' it. \nFor instance, i have a glass in my room, he shuts off the router and tells me to take it to the kitchen. \nInstead of just saying, Take that glass to the kitchen.\nSmall example but you get the point, how do you deal with anger inside? He often yells at everyone in the house when something is wrong and when it's me he gets mad at he punches me in on the shoulder. I myself think it's because im almost 18 now and im taller and bigger then him, so he wants to show off that he is the man.\nOr something like that, even do i could easyly knock him out, i mean, he is my Father after all. So i resort to just do what he tells me to do.\nAlso, he had a rough childhood (He's Dad kicked his ass alot and did the same with my Grandmother, so maybe he feels the need to do the same in smaller doses)", "summary": "I get mad easy and my Dad can be a prick alot of times, how do you deal with all your boiled up anger."} {"id": "t3_23416u", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Car Parked on Private Property Towed", "post": "I live in the state of Kentucky. My car was parked in the parking lot in my apartment complex (private property.) The tags were in fact expired but the property owners did not request the removal of the vehicle from private property.\n\nIn most states it is only legal to remove a vehicle from private property if the property owners requested the removal.\n\nAfter asking the office of my apartments and learning that they did not request the removal, they also informed me that this is an ongoing issue and said that it's unlikely I will find resolution (the tow company has lawyers etc.)", "summary": "Is it legal for them to have removed my vehicle from private property even with the expired tags. And if not, what is my next course of action."} {"id": "t3_qulsb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I have this thing on my tongue that won't go away", "post": "I tried to take a picture of it but my camera is a piece of crap that can't do any close up shots, it's barely noticeable visually, anyways.\n\nSo anyways, I have what I assumed was some sort of canker sore on the tip of my tongue, it is extremely noticeable to me on my tongue, but as I mentioned before, you can't really see it visually unless you look really close. It looks like the little nodules on my tongue, in that area, are really white, maybe 1, or 2 of them. It hurts a little when I put pressure on it and feels swollen, and for awhile that's all it was - an annoyance. I have had this before and it usually goes away within 2-5 days, this one hasn't. I woke up today and there was a brown \"nodule\" along side the white ones on my tongue, and it hurt a lot more putting pressure on it than it had previously. I got tweezers and picked it off, which hurt a bit, then it bled for awhile, and feels a little better. Now when I look at it it looks like there is a fissure in that area, I assume from picking the brown bit off. I should also mention I can't taste or really feel anything besides pain in that area of my tongue, just a small area though. I don't know what this is, and am getting concerned since it's been there for almost 3 weeks now. Anyone have any idea what this is, or how I can remedy it?", "summary": "Tongue has white \"nodules\" on it, can't taste or feel anything but pain in that area, has been here for 3 weeks now, doesn't appear to be getting better"} {"id": "t3_e4evh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Returning Merchandise Morals?", "post": "Hello redditors! I could use your help to solve a debate my friends and I are arguing about.\n\nTonight we were looking for a heated floor mat for my apartment to sit on. We found one at the Korean grocery store and I was curious how big it was since the units were in metric system and I am not good at visualizing that kind of size. My friend just pulled it out of the packaged bag it was in (it was in a zipped up bag), we evaluated the size, I decided it was big enough and bought it.\n\nLater when I got home I pulled it out and threw it on the floor. I noticed the cord was missing and thought it was in the bag. Nope, not in the bag. I figured it was missing and got annoyed. I complain to my friends who both say 'No, no it's attached in the middle, we saw it when we pulled it out.' Silence. We come to the conclusion it must have fallen out when we packed the mat back in the bag at the store.\n\nSo my friends are on the 'return it side' but having worked so many years in retail I'm torn. Technically the lost electric cord is our fault since we unpacked it and it fell out. On the other hands, my friends argue that technically the store has the plug somewhere in their building so if I exchange it, it's not a big deal. I dislike returning stuff on an account of something I did wrong so reddit help us decide!", "summary": "We lost the wall plug in for a floor mattress at the store when we took it out. Is it right to return the mattress and say it wasn't there?"} {"id": "t3_22tavx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] needs some help. Re-posting this here from r/dating_advice as it's more active. I'm way out of my league.", "post": "I go to college and i'm in my final year so i've been in the library non-stop. There's this one girl that I always keep seeing and tonight I think she finally noticed me. I smiled to her as she was leaving and she smiled back. That was unbelievable enough, but then as i'm watching her leave, she turns round, looks at me and smiles again. Honestly, my stomach was doing backflips! Never has that happened to me.\n\nI'm 21 and i've only ever asked one girl out (shameful I know) and that was two years ago by text. The date didn't go too well so that never proceeded to anything. But, i've told myself that i'm going to say something to this girl next time I see her.\n\nWhat would you suggest I say? What do you say to someone that will be sitting studying by herself in a library with earphones in? What do I say to someone that i've never spoke to before? So many questions going through my mind.\n\nAny help or advice would be wonderful.\n\nThank you.", "summary": "Never went up to anyone and spoke to them out of the blue, let alone ask someone for their number or ask them out, but I want to. Help?"} {"id": "t3_1085tp", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "Trying to get over an abusive Ex-SO and move on with my life, what are some tips?", "post": "Here's some backup information:\n\nWe're both relatively young (16&17), and we dated for around 3-4 months. \nNot that long. \nWe both have a history of mental illness, though I'm a lot more accepting of mine than he is with his, as he'd often tell me. \nAnyway, he was very emotionally abusive while we were dating. I had told him that I wasn't comfortable with sexual things just yet, but he'd often pressure me and make really crude jokes that he knew made me feel uncomfortable purely to watch me squirm. \n\nI ended it, and needless to say he wasn't too happy about it. \nHe got other parties involved, tried to shit-talk me to my friends, threatened me etc. and all the while I'm trying really hard to just get the credits I needed at school and try to focus on getting into a more stable place in my life. \n\nFast forward about 5 months, he's gone through two other girlfriends while I'm stuck feeling extremely uncomfortable being around men. \nI'm having reoccurring nightmares and I just can't seem to move past this, though try as I might :/ \nAny tips?", "summary": "My emotionally abusive ex-SO won't leave my mind, and I want to try and get on with my life."} {"id": "t3_3tsndc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am constantly feeling like I want to leave my (25/m) girlfriend (21/f) or 1.5 years even though we're happy together", "post": "So, my girlfriend (we'll call her Stacy) and I have been together for a year and a half now, this is by far my longest relationship. I love her like crazy and she, very obviously loves me more. \n\nThe problem I've had for a while now is that every two months or so I've been getting the urge to break-up with her. Every time these feelings come up I try to examine why I'm feeling that way, sometimes I feel trapped in the relationship, sometimes I just want to know that I could be doing something else, sometimes I just want to be alone for extended periods of time, and sometimes (and most consistently) I'm very unsatisfied with our sex life.\n\nI came very close to ending the relationship in the summer but didn't because I felt the need to end it sort of slip away. And I hadn't thought about it again until recently.\n\nI should point out, that on nearly every level her and I are completely compatible. We enjoy the same hobbies, we both have the same desires for the future, we have very similar values. There's nothing particularly wrong with her or the relationship other than the fact that sometimes I just don't want to be in it.\n\nThese feelings have been sort of pent up in me for a while and I'm trying to understand them now so that I don't make the mistake of ignoring them or being rash and regretting my decision. Are these feelings normal for a long term relationship? Do they go away after a time? Is it something I should bring up with her?", "summary": "Great first long-term relationship with a very compatible girl. Frequent desire to break-up on my end. Confused about the wanting to break-up."} {"id": "t3_yg4hp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What kind of career should my math-genius brother go for?", "post": "I have a brother in grade 11. He is at the stage of his life where he has to start thinking career choices. He is interested in math, and has slightly below average social skills. As for the genius part: he has won every single math olimpiad he has ever written save one. This means he is first place in Canada in pretty much every age group, contest, category, etc for the last 10 years. One time he wrote two olimpiads in one hour, causing the university administering them to accuse him of cheating. He recently represented Canada in the international mathematics olimpiad, where he took bronze. I am no mathematician, but I do know some complex physics, and I simply can not follow his trains of thought at all. I am considered by all my friends to be a math wiz, but this guy is a freaking ninja. As in I can't even read the answers to the questions he solves without losing track. In short, he could go to any school out there assuming he applied himself. \n\nI have no doubt that if he went into pure math he would have his PhD within a few short years. Whenever I ask him what he wants to do, he says \"math\", but I feel like he has no idea what that means. \n\nMy issue is that I don't want him to be one of those people who spends their lives wasting their genius working for peanuts in a dark corner of some university. I tried suggesting math related fields to him, and he seems interested, but I don't know much about them. I mentioned that he could do work in communication theory or in some sort of analysis, but to be honest I don't know much about those.\n\nSo reddit: you hivemind are the smartest thing I know. Help me out. Suggest some jobs that are heavy on the math, require a bit of genius, and pay well. If you do those jobs, tell me more about them (what you like, what the job is like, what the pay is like, what the training is like). If you dont do the jobs but know about them, I'll take what you can get. Please mention the kind of schooling required for those.", "summary": "Brother is a math machine, looking to go to university. Suggest some high paying fields he can apply his talent in."} {"id": "t3_sz0w4", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My brother-in-law cheated on my pregnant sister", "post": "when she was 31 weeks pregnant and confessed when she was 35 weeks pregnant because he contracted chlamydia. We don't know if he would have even told her otherwise. She gave birth on Wednesday and told me today because my parents didn't want what happened to her to sour my views on marriage. She's not sure what she should do, and I'm SO ANGRY I want to kill him. \n\nHe created an alternate email address and went on Adultfriendfinder to set up a \"date\" with a young woman to let him give her a facial, since my sister wouldn't. The day he met up with this prostitute (she asked for $300 because she was broke..... clearly a prostitute), he told my sister he was going out to get a gift for her because she was working so hard as a mother and wife. :| Then he drove an hour away, rented a hotel room and got his rocks off. It was all so premeditated.\n\nHe's apologizing profusely and they're in marriage counseling now and he has his own personal counselor as well. Apparently he had abandonment issues from his own very fucked up childhood and was worried my sister was leaving him too after the birth of their first child (born in 2010). He basically abandoned his own family after the birth of the first child and hired a full-time nanny to help my sister (who also had a full time job). This nanny sucked and neglected my niece and now she STILL can't speak because of this neglect. All because my brother-in-law was a selfish fucking asshole. \n\nI just wanted to know, has anyone else been cheated on like this (or worse) and managed to make the relationship work? Do you know of other couples that have overcome this? Or should my sister just start planning her exit strategy? She's not sure what she should do.", "summary": "My brother-in-law cheated, fucked up his family all to get his dick sucked by a whore. Can my sister recover from this?"} {"id": "t3_n772c", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My sister is autistic and was recently mistreated by her \"friend\". How can I handle this situation?", "post": "Background details: My sister is the most naive, kind child you'll ever meet. She's a junior in high school but she's very innocent, partly due to her autism, and partly due to the fact that she doesn't have a single mean bone in her body. She has done literally nothing wrong to anyone. \n\nToday, I found out that, simply because she works hard and is ranked #2 in the class, my sister was slapped by her friend. While it sounds rather trivial when I write it like this, if you can imagine the sweetest, most naive person you know getting \"assaulted\" by her \"friend\" for no reason, it's devastating. \n\nI have also found out that this girl once brought a knife to school and tried to frame my sister. She's always stealing my sister's backpack and hiding it; one time she locked it in her locker and wouldn't give it back. The fact that the school hasn't done anything about it after the knife incident just shows how complacent they are about the situation - they don't really seem to care. Since it is a private school, I'm not sure what the legal repercussions entail. I am, however, going to bring all this up when I speak with the principal. \n\nMy sister has always had issues establishing relationships due to her autism, so such an event was hurtful on both a physical and mental level. It makes me both sad, but more, extremely angry. It has taken me a lot of willpower to not physically retaliate, since that is both illegal and can backfire quite badly on me.\n\nI am here to ask, how should I handle this situation? Any and all advice is greatly appreciated it. Please help me bring some sort of justice to this situation. Thank you.", "summary": "My autistic sister was slapped by her \"friend\" (who has also bullied her on many occasions) simply for doing well in school. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_3u6vtt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "ADVICE! Do I write to my ex boyfriend 9 months after we broke up for 'closure'?", "post": "My ex, who we'll call Sam, and I dated for a year and a half. He was 20 and I was 16 (fucked up I know, don't mention it). We always told each other that if we break up it would be peaceful and understanding and it was the absolute opposite of that. \n\nWe were a very happy couple and \"fell in love\" 3 months into dating. However, everything changed when I found out that he was moving away and ever since then I started looking at \"other options\". I admit that during this period of time, I did cheat on him. I couldn't bear the weight of guilt any longer and told him. And it absolutely ruined him.\n\nI tried breaking it off and he started getting emotional abusive saying I can't leave him, calling me a slut for cheating, then crying back to me saying how awful I am but insisted that we don't break up. I don't remember how we \"officially\" broke up exactly because I tried so many times, but when we finally did he lost his shit. Threatening to hurt me, this guy I had a small thing with, my friends, my family. He threatened to post nudes of me to Facebook and all over social media...\n\n9 months later and I'm in a new, very happy, exclusive relationship for about 3 months now. I occasionally still think of Sam because he was my first real boyfriend, love, took my virginity, etc. What bothers me is when I'm with my current boyfriend, I sometimes think about my ex because I feel the need to close the wounds. I am no longer emotionally attached to Sam, but its in the back of my mind, especially being in a new relationship, its sort of hitting a refresh button like I'm going through the whole dating simulation once again. Sam blocked me on every social media but I was hoping to contact him through email. Is this a good idea? Or should I leave it alone completely?", "summary": "in a new relationship but I feel the need to officially \"close the old wounds\" from my last one. Do I write him a long, well-thought out email or leave him alone completely? "} {"id": "t3_2yv6e1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my girlfriend of 1.5 years [20F]; recently she said she needed more space to focus on herself and school work and focus less on me, just wanted to clarify my thought process.", "post": "So every relationship goes through stages, right? My girlfriend and I spent a lot of time together. Almost every day for long periods of time. So when she told me out of the blue that she needed space to focus on herself I was shocked, sick to my stomach, and really hurt.\n\nBasically because when we first started dating I was suffering from depression so I always figured one day she would get tired of me and dump me, so I was fearing that it was becoming a reality.\n\nBut it's completely normal right? We've just left the infatuation stage of our relationship which is a good thing because we are beginning to grow as a couple. Lately I've still come across as needy and such but I just realized that the whole point of this stage is to prove that we aren't just our pet name (you know when people take both names in the relationship and mash them together) and that we can be our independent selves while still being in the relationship. \n\nAm I right in this? It's my first real relationship so I was curious.", "summary": "Gf and I just hit the power struggle stage of the relationship. At least I think so. Tips, thoughts, suggestions?"} {"id": "t3_3gpd7i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (M24) really like a girl (F21) but she has a boyfriend (M22?/23?).", "post": "This girl has been on my eye for a long time. She was in a relationship for a while and then when she got out of it, I didn't even know until it was too late and she was already wit someone else. Now this guys a marine and leavin soon to deploy so I hear. I really like her and wonderin' how I could get her to see me and fall for me. \n\nI know it seems wrong but I saw on their Fb that they broke up. She deleted her Fb but now she has it back and it still says in a relationship but doesn't have the dudes name anymore. So I don't actually know if they're together or not anymore. Either way I think she deserves better and I know I'll treat her best. \n\nI'm in love wit this girl. Anyone else been here?", "summary": "girl I love got out of relationship, but might have gotten back in but he's leaving soon to a new country and I want to win her over."} {"id": "t3_35967j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me: with my crush and my friend, My friend who knows who I like is flirting with my crush", "post": "We all are seventh graders at a relatively small school, and we all are 13. My friend, lets call him \"John\" (Male; been friends for about half a year). Knows who I like, lets call my crush \"Isabella\" (Female; I have been liking her for about two weeks). John doesn't likes someone, and knows who I like. He was flirting with Isabella a couple of times.\n\nI am really nervous and I don't know what to do. I talked to my crush a lot, and we are kind of in the friend zone. I think Isabella likes John. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "My friend is flirting with my crush (and know who she is). I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_3jv60z", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Question about wedding day photography and timing", "post": "For all you brides and grooms who've tied the knot, I have a question about the photography timeline. My FH and I are not doing a first look. We will be walking with our bridal party and family about 5 minutes to get pictures in the park while everybody else heads up for the cocktail party. Like most couples we REALLY want to get to that cocktail party!! We want pictures with the bridal party and family and of course of us BUT we don't want 50 different angles of him kissing my ear and me smiling at the camera. I am trying to put together my day of timeline including specifics about picture taking, who is in which picture and how long should each take. But I have no idea. I want to make sure I can put together a realistic timeline for the picture so I don't get my hopes up too high about being at most of the cocktail hour and so I can figure out how to do which pictures so we can realistically make the last 10 minutes. The internet is full of timelines for people who want first looks and 2 hour long couples photos and elaborate bridal party pictures which just isn't our style. How long did your pictures take? How many pictures was that? How did you run through family pictures with grandparents, parents, and siblings (like what kinds of family groups). How did you deal with live-in-long-term-relationship-but-not-engaged SOs of your siblings in pictures? I'm set to talk with my photographer soon about day of but I'd like to have some idea of what other people have been able to accomplish. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!", "summary": "I'm trying to put together the photography timeline, how long did your pictures take and how many groups did that cover?"} {"id": "t3_33sbd5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Bf [27m] kept teasing me about my shirt [27F] of 1 year", "post": "Yesterday my bf and I went on a break but we happened to have run into each other in the park near where I live.\n\nIt was pretty friendly and we had a nice chat. He asked me where I was going and I said \"I'm going to a potluck at my friends place. I wish you could come! This break is silly.\"\n\nIn a teasing way, he said\n\"Oh, I see you're wearing a revealing shirt ;) who are you trying to impress? \"\n\n**Me:** No one. It's just a crop top. It only shows 1/4 inch of skin. Don't worry. \n\n**Him:** still teasing....uh huh, I see someone wants male attention ;)\n\n**me**: no, don't worry. I just want to look cute and it's a cute foral top. I'm wearing a high waisted jeans so you don't need to worry about seeing a lot of skin. Plus there's no cleavage so you don't need to worry.\n\n**him**: oh I'm not worried but I'm just noticing that you want male attention\n\n**me:** do you want me to change my top? \n\n**him:** no I'm just saying ;)\n\n**me:** fine I'll go change my top. \n\nI left the park and quickly changed into a tank top. When I came back he said \"oh you didn't need to change! I completely forget about your top. Anyway I think this tank top looks better on you anyway. \n\nSomething about this interaction bothers me. It was like he was being passive agressive about a stupid top. Why couldn't he have been honest and said it bothered him? \n\nI felt like he was almost projecting? He'll obsess about the way he looks and tries to make sure he always looks his best. He had a roommate and she constantly walked around half naked and never made a comment about her appearence.", "summary": "boyfriend made comment that my shirt was too cropped even though it showed .25 inches of skin and I changed to help his feelings. His comment felt passive agressive. Was it?"} {"id": "t3_4f63f0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[17F] in love with my best friend [18F] but we're going to be roommates in college and I don't want to ruin everything", "post": "I'm Russian but grew up in America; when I was 13 my mom lost her green card and we moved back to Russia, where I started high school and met my best friend (we'll call her Katya). We connected instantly, being the only non-white students in our class (I'm half-black, she's from the Caucasus) and it turned out we have almost everything in common--we listen to the same music, watch all the same shows, and complement each other socially. We've been inseparable practically since the first day of school and I spend most of my free time at her apartment. \n\nRight now we're in our senior year. I have dual citizenship and intend to go to college in Chicago, my home city. Yesterday Katya told me she's applied for a scholarship to the same college I'm going to (she studies English), she's applying for a student visa, etc. She says she wants to be roommates and that she couldn't stand being away from me for four years, especially separated by an ocean and most of a continent, that she'd miss me too much. Then she tucked my hair behind my ear and leaned in like she was going to kiss me but at the last second pulled away and changed the subject very abruptly.\n\nKatya is gorgeous and extroverted and puts effort into her appearance; she has no shortage of admirers. While she flirts with them and sometimes goes on dates, she's never had a serious relationship and has never gone further than kissing with a boy. I suspect that she might have feelings for me too, but we can't act on them while we're still in provincial Russia. But if we end up being roommates and she doesn't reciprocate, and I tell her, we'll have to live together in that awkward situation all year, and I don't want to ruin our friendship.", "summary": "I'm in love with my best friend but we live in provincial Russia. We're going to college together in America next year as roommates. Should I tell her how I feel?"} {"id": "t3_2tmt6h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22 F] cheated on my SO [23 M] with my teacher [29 M] and now I feel guilty & regret it", "post": "Before all of you judge me (which is understandable) please read me first. \n\nI'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of 4 years. He lives in another state like 8 hours away. We are both in college. Last semester I had this hot/young new teacher that all my friends were talking about but I didn't like him at first. But then, randomly, he started messaging me and we started talking a lot more about non-related school issues. Long story short, we ended up having sex, several times. I even kinda developped feelings for him for a short while. He's the second guy I've ever been with since my boyfriend was the first one. \n\nI broke things up with my boyfriend for a minute but he never knew the reason and he insisted he wanted to be with me so I gave our relationship another shot after a few weeks. He really really loves me. I wished I haven't cheated on him, I now realize it was a mistake but I was blinded by this other guy (who now I find childish & ugly). It was definitely not worth it and I don't know what was I thinking. \n\nThat was like a year ago, my teacher since then has been trying to contact me again and have me come over his place but I've been ignoring his calls & texts. I do not want to be with him again or anyone else by all means. I'm still with my boyfriend and things are pretty good but sometimes it hurts me knowing how hurt would he be if he finds out what I did. Sometimes at night I can't stop thinking how much of a shitty person I am. Is this feeling ever gonna go away? Should I break things off with my boyfriend? I really don't want to because I love him and I wouldn't cheat on him again in a millions years with anyone but if I tell him the truth, he's never gonna believe that. \n\nLittle", "summary": "I cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years and now I'm deeply sorry about doing that and the guilt trip is endless. He has no clue about it."} {"id": "t3_1y6a7y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I M[20] have zero clue about how any of this works.", "post": "This is my first post here, so I hope all goes well! =]\n\nOver the past year or so I've been trying to change myself by dressing nice, eating healthy, lifting, running, and trying to come out of my shell more (I get pretty anxious at the thought of or act of talking to people).\n\nAnyways, in my 2nd year of college (currently in my 1st year at a new college I transferred to for computer engineering). In one of my classes (not engineering class of course, there are zero\nwomen in there *not joking*) there is this girl that sits in the same row as me that I think is really cute. She's sat next to me a few times but I get so nervous that my mind goes completely blank and I just get really quiet. I've noticed that whenever the seat next to me is empty 9/10 she sits there but that hasn't happened in \na while. I'd really love to ask her out so we could get to know each other better. But I've never even said a word to her before.\n\nToday, after lecture was over, I saw some guy talking to her, and now I'm having thoughts of just giving up.\n\nIf any of you have words of encouragement, or advice and are willing to help me, please do. I'm scared as fuck right now.", "summary": "Want to ask this girl in lecture section out. But, I have zero experience with women and I'm scared as fuck."} {"id": "t3_23atbq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Finally, he (22/m) kissed me (24/f), now I want to feel that spark.", "post": "This past weekend, a guy (22/m) I (24/f) have been friends with (and crushed on for months) finally kissed me (amongst other things), and we had that \"I've wanted to do that since September\" talk. So needless to say, I'm ecstatic.\n\nHowever, due to past relationship blues, it is impossible for me to feel that giddy little spark when I'm with him.\n\nAbout three years ago, my long-term boyfriend of four years broke up with me, and I didn't date for a long time cause I felt too numb. Since then though, I've had two other boyfriends whom I've felt just 'meh' about, so I guess feeling that spark didn't mean much to me. But now, I crave to feel that little tickle in my tummy when he holds my hand, and that flutter when he looks at me. I know it's possible, because I have wanted this for so long, and he makes me happy. I know he is getting those feelings, he kept smiling from ear to ear every now and then. When I asked him what was up, he would just tell me he's happy.\n\nI'm afraid I'm still numb, and I don't know how to get over it.\n\nWe didn't have sex, but we did fool around. And I get that \"mmmmm\" feeling when I think of what we did, but I want the romantic one.\n\nThis is also my first interracial, inter-cultural relationship. Maybe I'm scared? Nervous? Either way, I want to feel what I know I DO feel and CAN feel. \n\nAny suggestions on how to overcome this and start to fall in love again, in the proper way? With butterflies and shy looks and tingles? It's all I can think of. \n\nThank you.", "summary": "I want to feel that 'spark' with a new guy, but due to previous relationship heartache, I'm afraid I can't."} {"id": "t3_g665p", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Did the Internet and modern communication prevent WW3?", "post": "At the beginning of the year war was looming between North and South Korea. China was allied with the North and America was allied with the South. Since then most of the news regarding the impending doom was over shadowed with the tragedies happening in Libya, Australia and Japan. Everything was in place for war, 2 nuclear super powers on supposed opposite sides about to defend their allies until death, so what happened? Was it because of America and China economic ties that have only been made possible through the advent of instantaneous communication through out the world? I need to know if my train of thought is correct.", "summary": "Did America and China prevent WW3 (starting with N and S Korea) by being so reliant on each other through trade only made possible through the Internet and phones."} {"id": "t3_3rebuf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [33F] have been with my boyfriend [31M] for 2 years. He cheated on me and we are going on a holiday at the end of the month. What should I do?", "post": "I have been with my bf for almost 2 years. Recently I discovered that he cheated on me for about 3 months after we had a huge row (The woman he cheated with told me. He doesn't know I know. He had lied to her and when she found out about me, she dumped him.) We have planned a weekend romantic trip to Prague to save our relationship (before I knew about his affair). \n\nI love him and I am ready to work on our relationship but I am afraid that he still has feelings for her and her breaking things off would cause him to resent me. He still sees her almost every weekend (they went to university together and he still spends every weekend with that group; including her). She's very beautiful, extremely intelligent and has a very respectable job (I looked her up on Facebook). They speak the same elite university language, shares similar interests... \n\nI am feeling very insecure even though he is still with me. I made sure that I see him every week but he has never said he loves me. I left my previous relationship for him and went through tough times for him. I love him very much and I am willing to overlook this for the sake of keeping him but I'm scared that he would grow to resent me after this paragon dumped him because of me even though I am here first and I am the one he is with now. I am also scared that he would break up with me to go after her again. This time without me holding him back.\n\nI'm a mess of insecurities and I can't or don't know how to confront him. Please help!", "summary": "Boyfriend cheated on me but was dumped by the other woman. I am afraid that he would resent me because of it. Will he?"} {"id": "t3_3t2jb8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23F] need to tell my choir director [30somethingM] that we're tired of him picking his favourite for solos.", "post": "I sing in a small choir of 14 people. I act as the representative for the individuals of the choir. Usually this is just to represent our group at the board meetings. It's also under my position's description to bring any comments or concerns to my director so we can keep the rehearsals as a positive environment.\n\nOur group has always had a focus on inclusivity and learning. We sing a wide range of music and have singers of many different backgrounds and skill levels. We're about a month away from a show and my director has been assigning the solos. We all give them a try and he picks who he thinks fits best. One of the girls who is very talented has almost half the solos. She's a brilliant singer, but some of the choristers are upset that we aren't diversifying and sharing the talents of the other members as well. \n\nI'm struggling with how to bring this up to him in a positive way. I've known him for many years and I know he can be incredibly sensitive. I wanted to discuss this in person before or after rehearsal, but he carpools with one of the choir members and I think it's inappropriate to have the discussion in front of them. I've settled on an email, but I can't figure out how to phrase it. Any help or advice will be welcomed.", "summary": "I act as a representative for my choir and need to tell my director people are annoyed with him picking favourites for solos in our inclusive group."} {"id": "t3_38wai0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've [25 M] had a personal crisis due to online dating.", "post": "I'm kind of a shy guy. It really takes me awhile to warm up to meeting new people, friends, potential SO's, etc. and generally they take awhile to warm up to me. This is fine, I'm not super gregarious and it just takes a little while longer for people to get to know me. In college, this didn't really cause any issues with dating, you're around so many people all the time - you get to spend a lot of time with everyone and they get to know you a lot easier. I could easily find common interests and date someone after growing an organic relationship.\n\nHowever, post-college the only places where I naturally meet people with common interests are my work place, my hobbies and immediate friend circle. None of these are places where I want to insert relationship drama and so I ended up turning to online dating to meet new people. \n\nSo here's the problem: I think my personality type doesn't really fit with the format of online dating at all and I don't really know what to do about it. First off, it's hard for me to have any interest in strangers on the internet. Occasionally I do really gel with people and have great messages back and forth, but when a date happens I just don't feel like I have the ability to relax and be personable in such a short window of time. I'm either kind of aloof/too quiet or if its a really promising date, I feel like I'm under the spot light to make an impression in a short period of time, but this isn't normal for me, so I end up acting out - constantly trying to be funny, I'm super nervous, and other generally undesirable behavior. I've heard feedback that I'm \"too challenging\", \"hard to read\", \"intimidating\", but I just feel like if I had more time I would eventually relax around this new person and they would be more interested.\n\nSo what should I do? I yam what I yam and don't want to change, but should I approach it differently?", "summary": "I feel like my personality type isn't really cut out for online dating and I'm not sure what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_2h9j61", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trusting Amazon with my credit card.", "post": "So about a month ago I was browsing Amazon for a new iPad case (since the ones from Apple are like $50 more than they need to be) and a thing popped up asking if I wanted to try Prime. I thought why not, it'll get here in like two days. \n\nSo yay, I get my case in a couple days. But going to check my bank balance today, I notice I'm $90 short, and it's been payed to Amazon. I immediately think my account's been hacked, since that's been going around lately, and it recently happened to my Dad. \n\nAfter 20 minutes of terror/furiousness, I go and tell a friend what's happened, and he says, \"Have you ever signed up for Prime?\" and I say just for the free month. But here's the catch... If you don't cancel your free trial membership, Amazon will ASSUME you want prime, and pay for it with the credit card on your account without your permission! LIKE WTF AMAZON!?!?\nFortunately, this must happen to a lot of people, because I spent no more than 30 sec on the phone and they said they'd send it right back. But I still have no more trust in them.", "summary": "didn't cancel a free trial for Prime, Amazon stole $90 from me assuming I still wanted it. (which I don't)"} {"id": "t3_34ay02", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Snooped on boyfriends facebook due to worries, found what I didn't want to. Not sure how to proceed?", "post": "Side note: It's taken me a lot to open up and trust since my previous relationship ended messy.\n\nSo I've been with this guy for a few months and everythings been fantastic, due to work I only get to spend weekends with him. This weekend has been amazing like every other weekend. Get back to reality, so to speak, and he's been messaging less as the days go by, which has triggered my panicky fight or flight mode. I know he's for some reason saved his log in details for facebook (it's a right bitch isn't it? Yes, I also know that I have broken his trust, but if I wasn't worried I wouldn't have.) so my worries get on top of me and I log in. He's been speaking with a mate saying that he's going to break up with me? but he hasn't yet as it's not the right time? From what I have read, he has only mentioned having more money to do things once he's single. Not sure if this is his only reason? Don't know whether to confront him or wait?\n\nAlso he doesn't seem to be answering messages or my one call today.\n\nAny advice is appreciated. Sorry for the messy post, a little all over the place at the moment", "summary": "Boyfriend being distant, snooped on facebook. Saw messages he wants to break up. Currently not talking to me. Unsure how to proceeed. Super upset."} {"id": "t3_4n38xi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I(25m) write her(23f) a letter?", "post": "6 months ago me, and my ex broke up. We had been dating on and off for 4.5 years, most of it being long distance. We had some problems early on that kinda set the stage for both of us having trust issues, and we never really got over those since I was gone all the time. This time we broke up for good. She blocked my number, and all social media except for email. Her reasoning for blocking me was because she wouldn't be able to get over me if we remained in contact.\n\nI messed up a few times and contacted her, and generally she would get pretty upset, but eventually we started contacting eachother more frequently. She would always come to me when she felt bad, and even visited me multiple times. However, when I do this its very wrong, and \"not respecting of her\". This last time she wouldn't even let me call her on the phone, when I was very bummed, and just wanted to hear her voice. This lead to a big argument, and I admit I got out of hand. She blocked me on email too, leaving me with no way to contact her.\n\nI know this is what she wants, and I'm trying to respect that, but I miss her so bad. I don't want our last conversation to have ended badly.\n\nI'm considering writing her a letter thanking her for all the good times, and everything she's done for me. I also wanted to apologize one last time, and say that hopefully I'd be able to see her again someday.\n\nIs this a bad idea? Do you think this will upset her? I in no way would have the intentions of trying to convince her that we should date again, I just didn't wanna end it on a bad note. I just don't know if this will come off as creepy, or anything. Let me know what you guys think. Thanks in advance!", "summary": "ex blocked me on all social media, and electronic communications, don't want to leave things off on a bad note, want to write an apology/thankful letter. Should I?"} {"id": "t3_1fyrne", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How can i stop being LOW MAINTENANCE around him?", "post": "Yeah you read that right. I guess i am one of those people who can just sit and kind of day dream away when i'm hanging out with my boyfriend. We've been together for a few years, but i can still be really shy with him and afraid to speak my mind for fear of rejection or something, even though he would never and always actively encourages me to speak out. \n\nBut basically a lot of time i feel like a dud around him, like i'm not entertaining enough. He always wants me to play video games with him and i want to too to connect more with him, but i HATE losing and he is literally the best at every single video game, so you see how that works out. He'll ask me what i want to do, and all i can ever say is 'i dunno'. It sucks and i feel like he will grow to resent me for being boring, which is my biggest fear actually. And its not like we really have money to spend and we live in the hottest most humid and boring town.", "summary": "fear boyfriend will come to resent me for not ever knowing what to do and not always joining in his activities. What do?"} {"id": "t3_n1zx3", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "It's been almost 2 months and I'm still hurting so badly. How can I stop caring?", "post": "We had some time without talking or seeing each other, but probably not enough. It was kind of hard because we're part of the same friend group. We hooked up a lot after the breakup, but I put a stop to that. We manage to hang out now without incident (most of the time), but I can't deny that I still don't have strong feelings for him. \n\nWe came to the conclusion a week or so ago that part of the reason our relationship didn't seem to work out in the first place was because we never really had the chance to be friends. We met, and started dating. There was never really an opportunity to get to know each other without any pressure or expectations. We figured we try and be friends for now and maybe maybe, if it works out, get back together later on. \n\nThe problem is, I'm having a really hard time seeing him as a friend... I really want to try this, but I can't seem to stop over-analyzing EVERYTHING. I feel jealous about every girl he talks to, even though I'm talking to plenty of guys. \n\nHow do I stop caring so much about everything he says (or doesn't say)? I just want to be okay on my own, and show him I'm strong, and don't need him.", "summary": "Been 2 months since breakup, we're trying to be friends with hopes for future, want to stop caring so much!!"} {"id": "t3_14mufb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend [28m] has sudden seeming lack of interest in intimacy with me, [26f].", "post": "Hi Reddit. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and are living together. Recently, intimacy issues have become a concern (especially within the past 2 weeks) and I'm not sure what to think or if this relationship should continue.\n\nI should start out with the simple facts: I have an average drive. His is, I believe, exceptionally low. He's on Prozac (his prescription says it needs to be taken twice a day, but I'm not sure of the dosage level) and has been since he was a teenager. Going in to the relationship, I knew he was sexually conservative; he made it clear to me he'd slept with few girls and had only done so with the girls he considered to be \"serious\" relationships with. Initially, he had a very high drive, as couples usually seem to in early relationships. It eventually tapered off to about once a week (sometimes more but almost never less; there have only been a couple times we went about 2 weeks without, both were when he had physical health issues that prevented anything from occurring). While intimacy once a week isn't ideal for me, it was absolutely a compromise I could make and something I could be happy enough with.\n\nMysteriously for the last 2 weeks, there's been no sex, and not intimacy at all for at least a week. I've talked to him about this, as I have several times before, and I get the same response of \"it isn't on the forefront of my mind\" and that he'd like me to initiate things more often, insisting that he'd never turn me down. I've told him a few times that I'm extremely scared of being rejected and since he already isn't particularly interested in sex, it's hard for me to be confident enough to try to get things started.\n\nIf this were anyone else, I'd say the sudden lack of intimacy was an indicator of a pending breakup. However, he's been just as affectionate as always (he's very affectionate when it comes to the non-sexual cuddling, the I-love-you's, kisses, etc) and has still kept up with talk that leads me to believe he thinks we have a future together.", "summary": "Boyfriend is having a sudden seeming lack of interest in intimacy and there have been issues regarding this before, although I thought we had come to a nonverbal agreement. What could be going on here?"} {"id": "t3_irlo2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, is Freedom of Speech really a \"good thing\"?", "post": "I would like to get a lively debate going if possible on the merits of Freedom of Speech. I am a Canadian, and we have limited Freedom of Speech up here (Ex: If someone is preaching hate or spreading hate literature, they can be found culpable under the law of a hate crime). It seems to work fine, and I don't feel like my rights are being violated or i'm not allowed to express my views, while simultaneously I don't have to be afraid of my neighbor distributing Klan masks or the local Nazi sympathizer of passing out hate pamphlets to my kids. \n\nI've encountered Americans who go on and on about the merits of Freedom of Speech, but in personal experience I notice that the individuals who invoke FoS the most are people who have something stupid or something hateful to say (Westboro Baptist Church, the KKK etc.). Correct me if i'm wrong, but to me FoS in the US seems to me more like a shield to protect the wrongful, the hurtful and the moronic more than the \"rights\" or Americans. It seems almost akin to those who run around expressing their second amendment rights.\n\nTherefore, I ask you to please explain to me, a Canadian, why FoS is really a \"good thing\"?", "summary": "Explain to me why FoS is a good thing, when all it appears to be to me is a shield where the ignorant hide behind."} {"id": "t3_4xy0ca", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By almost losing my entire tongue", "post": "This didn't happen today it was a lot of years back but it's still TIFU worthy for sure.\n\nI had just gotten out of my third grade class and it was a cold winter day (I live in Canada it was really cold.)\n\nMy friends were supposed to pick me up but they happened to be a few minutes late so I calmly waited and leaned my lower head onto a great big metal pole beside the stairs of our school. \n\nI don't remember if I dozed off or if I just decided \"hey I wonder what this pole tastes like!\" but before I knew almost my entire tongue was stuck to the damn pole. Panic mode engaged. I tried to pull it off but my tongue must of been welded to that thing cause it wasn't budging. I didn't know at that age that you should get someone to pour warm water on it to get it off so I thought that if I didn't get it off now it would be forever stuck and I would die stuck to that pole.\n\nI took one deep breath and pulled as hard as I could. With a brief rush of unimaginable pain I opened my eyes looking at the pole to see the tip of my tongue still there. \n\nI look for my friends and find them. I made a \"help\" sound (because my tongue was practically numb). My friend looked at me in the eyes and says \"what's wrong?\" I open my mouth and say \"my tongue is gone!\" (Well only the tip was but I wasn't very smart). My friend grabs his mom and drops me off at my parents. I wanted to go to the hospital a lot but my parents didn't quite realize how much tongue I lost so they thought it was minor.\n\nIn the end my tongue is a little bit \"flatter\" than it was before and I can't taste anything at the tip of it.", "summary": "I leaned my head against pole, got my tongue stuck, ripped off the tip of my tongue, can't taste anything there."} {"id": "t3_tqnh7", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Relationship Problems?", "post": "Ok, so i am a 20 year old guy, currently dating a 20 year old girl. We both go to the same college, live in the same town, etc. We started dating in February, and its been really nice.\n\nBut, that's kind of the problem right now. There's no excitement, which I know is just the 'honeymoon period being over', or however you'd like to phrase that. Don't worry, there's more.\n\nWe've never talked about anything serious (politics, religion, the future...), just because it's never really come up. It's been nice and relaxed, but I want more and I'm not sure if she does. I know I need to talk to her about that, but how do I bring it up?\n\nThe impetus for all of these feelings is.... another girl. Who I like and think about a lot. She's 21, also goes to this college, and is the same major as I am. I probably started getting attracted to her because I helped her through breaking up with this guy who was kind of a tool. And now I've determined this - Given the magical ability to alter reality, I'd rather be dating the second girl than the girl I currently am dating. \n\nI don't know if she likes me, but I think so. I'm just feeling weird about all this because, well... its a weird situation.", "summary": "Currently dating Girl #1, have a crush on Girl #2. Girl #1 likes me, I think Girl #2 does too. Thoughts?"} {"id": "t3_4jndyn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [19F] of 3 months stopped talking to me [20M] as often now that we're long distance.", "post": "We've been together for three months but I recently left our city to go back home and study abroad for a total of 2 months. Until almost a week before I left we would talk and text often most days and it wouldn't take long for either of us to reply, but since then I would send her a message and it can take upwards of 6 hours for a reply and she often cancels our Skype \"dates.\" \n\nI understand that she can be a busy person and I don't want to be smothering, but at the same time I feel that our level of communication is not enough for me to be satisfied in a long term relationship. How do I express my concerns without coming off as creepy/possessive?", "summary": "My gf and I don't talk as much as I'd like, but I don't know how to talk to her about it"} {"id": "t3_4n42ly", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21 m) was dumped by my girlfriend who I had a kid with after 2 years.", "post": "It's been a month now and she's moved on but I still love her and it's hard for me to accept. I wish I could just move on myself but being the way I am, it's hard to meet new people and open up. Our son is 8 months old so things in the relationship moved rather quickly. I can help but feel worthless over this. I guess I'm not sure what to do, I've been trying and trying but every time I go to pick up my son it just gets harder and harder to see her. I'm afraid my son will think of her new boyfriend as his dad instead of me, even though I'm doing my best to see him overt day and take him over night. It just hurts so fucking much. I guess I don't know who to turn to to get these feelings out so I guess I'll just post it here and hope for the best. I'm here asking if you guys have any advice for moving on in my situation, considering my son and everything.", "summary": "girlfriend left me after two years, we have an 8 month old son together, she moved onto a new boyfriend, I'm struggling with my feelings for her. Need advice for moving on considering the situation."} {"id": "t3_ogrnz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "A full year after graduating from college, I finally have a job offer. However, in order to qualify, I have to spend ~$4500 on equipment. Is it a bad idea?", "post": "Through a connection I made in college, I have been set up with the opportunity to work as the Creative Director for a new film and video production company. However, the man offering the position does not want to pay for cameras, mics, or the computer we would need to edit the projects, as he thinks that anyone he hires to do the job will have all of that stuff on his own. However, for me this is not the case.\n\nI did the math last night, and I can get a good quality camera with a basic set of equipment (shotgun mic, tripod, bag, etc) and a quality editing computer for approximately $4500. I can finance the computer through apple, reducing that solid figure by half and spreading the rest out over 12 months. I can also manage to pull together around $1000 of my own personal money to dedicate to the investment, leaving the rest to be paid for by credit cards (which I would have to apply for). Is this crazy? In my line of work I will need all of this equipment anyway, but I haven't gotten any of it yet because I could not afford it outright.", "summary": "If I rack up about $4500 in debt I can get a well paying job in the profession for which I went to school. Is this a stupid idea?"} {"id": "t3_1g1wen", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What are some things I [f 27]should discuss with my SO[M 28] before we move in together?", "post": "Recently my boyfriend and I have started talking about moving in together. In our specific case, we're both in our late 20s and have been dating for about 6 months. We have both been married and cohabitated before. He owns a house and I rent an apartment. We both work fulltime, though I make less than he does. We both admit this is kind of soon, but also kind of want to go for it anyway. We're going sit down and talk about it in earnest later this week.\n\nHere are some reasons why it sounds like a really good idea to us:\n\n-I have pretty much been living there every day for two months already.\n-We communicate effectively.\n-We have already dealt with some gross, embarrassing, and stressful situations together.\n-It would save us money that we could put toward some of the travelling we want to do together\n-It would be so much easier on our pets\n\nHere are some things I've already put on my list of stuff to talk about:\n\n-How to integrate/train our pets\n-How much each person can reasonably contribute financially to shared living expenses\n-How we want to divide up chores\n\nI am sure there are a bunch of other things we should add to this list though. I want to do this right!", "summary": "So, Reddit, what should you talk about and consider with your SO before you move in together? Tell me everything, specific to my situation or otherwise!"} {"id": "t3_32mq1a", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by taking my phone out during exam", "post": "Right now I feel so bad. Im freshman in college and its my first semester. My all classes are going awesome, but this one class Sociology is so hard! So i was trying my best to keep up my grade because passing grade is 75%. Til yesterday my percentage was 62, but today we had a exam, and my teacher was like that if i get good grades on this exam then i might make it. I was so prepared for this test, and i studied all spring break. So the test starts and i'm all hype because i know everything thats on test. I was taking my time because I didnt wanted wrong answers. I was doing all great and i was on last page where i was doing extra credit questions. and suddenly my phone vibrates, no one calls me in the morning, so i checked the number and it was my little brother's elementary school's numbers. I panicked because no one was at home, and everyone was working. So i tried listening to the voicemail with my head down, because i was alone in class, as everyone else was done with test. And as i looked up, there she was. My teacher, She was like \"you have something in your hand\" and she saw my phone. I couldnt explain her anything because there were thousand thoughts going thru my mind. without another word, she took my test, and said \"you're getting zero on that\" .. which means i wont be able to pass this class. I was standing there speechless.. Now i've already dropped my psychology class because it was too hard, and i was going to fail it.. i cant drop this class because it costs almost $350. and we are not rich. Now my parents have supported me with everything, but i'm not sure how would they react to this. I know you guys are awesome with words, and how to comfort someone.. Please help me. I mean, what can i do, and how do i tell my parents. and what would you do if you were at my place.\n\nSide Note: Voicemail was that, my little brother had a headache and wasnt feeling very well.\n\nTip: Never take your phone out during class, and always follow the rules.", "summary": "Little brother's elementary school called me during exam, and i tried listening to it, but got caught and teacher gave zero for the test. I'm going to fail this class now."} {"id": "t3_1srk2w", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "My adopted 3 y/o cattle dog mix doesn't do well meeting some dogs", "post": "Hello dog trainers and fellow dog lovers!\n\nI adopted an estimated 3 year old Australian Cattle Dog mix in September. She has been, hands-down, the best dog I've ever had. I'm not sure the circumstances that led her to end up at the humane society, where I found her.\n\nLet me sing her praises for a minute: she loves people. She is really easy to teach tricks. She comes to me immediately when I call her (I live in an apartment and she accidentally got out one day before I had a chance to figure that out on purpose). She's super duper mellow for being part cattle dog (which has been helpful for the \"heartworm hibernation\" she has had to endure for the last 8 weeks for the treatment). I find it odd that she rarely plays with toys, and if she does it isn't for longer than 5 or 10 minutes. However, she absolutely loves hiking and being outside.\n\nHere's my problem: she is not very good at meeting other dogs. Some dogs she seems okay with, while others she becomes slightly aggressive (stands still, starts growling, and has snapped once or twice). I haven't figured out exactly what it is about the dogs she doesn't like. She hasn't been fond of several small dogs, yet she wasn't aggressive toward the little Pomeranian that came running up to her mid-potty. She hasn't been fond of most dogs larger than her, but she really seemed to want to play with the two dogs her size and larger we hiked with one day.\n\nHow do I socialize her correctly so that she is friendly toward other dogs that we come across while walking/hiking? On instances that she shows aggression towards other dogs, I will walk her away, yet she turns and starts to wag her tail like she is happy and wants to play (or at least what I recognize as when she is happy). I am simply perplexed.\n\nThanks for your kind input in advance :)", "summary": "My dog is super friendly toward people, smart, and easy-going. But she doesn't like some dogs. How do I encourage her to be friendly with other dogs?"} {"id": "t3_fxk6o", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Am I justified at being angry at a long time friend for this?", "post": "Back in August or September I got a random phone call from a long time friend who was living in Chile. He had been there a few months to live indefinitely but ran into some medical and financial troubles so he had to move back to the states. He was staying with his mom for a few weeks before he got a job and could find a place of his own. Immediately, I offered him to live in my 1 BR apartment and I would move in with my girlfriend up the street. I left most all my belongings there for him to use seeing that I didn't need it and he did. Fast forward 7 months and I just got off the phone with him telling me he is moving out in a few days to take up a better job in another city. The apartment is trashed, sinks backed up, found at one point wadded up paper towels on the bathroom floor from ass wipping- real nasty stuff. \nHe already paid March's rent, but my girlfriend is moving out of her apartment in a few weeks. A mutual friend was planning to take her spot and finish out the least with me until May. The problem is, now suddenly I have another rent to pay and I don't feel I've been given a fair amount of time in advance to plan accordingly. I feel I've helped a good friend who in retrospect was taking advantage of an opportunity and is now shitting on me. Am I justified to feel angry about this? Am I over reacting feeling real sour about the situation? I have 3 months of school to finish before I get my BFA.", "summary": "I gave my apt. to my friend who needed a place and I moved in with my GF. Now he's moving out with only a couple days notice where I am now stuck paying 2 rents."} {"id": "t3_16v6zr", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[20/M] feels that relationship with [19/F] is falling apart.", "post": "I have known my current girlfriend for almost two years (as coworkers), on a personal level (friends, dating) for 7 months and officially in a relationship for 2 weeks. She is an amazing girl and I truly care for her. However lately all I have been receiving is one word responses in texting, all plans being canceled, and talks about how another guy (whom she has only known for a few months) is always there for her whenever she needs somebody. She is going through some problems with her family and I have been trying to keep that in mind but honestly she is making me feel like shit. I have gone out of my way to make sure she knows that she has someone who cares about her and it seems like she is going out of her way to make sure I know that she doesn't care about me. I have tried to talk to her about it but all I get in response is her telling me I'm making this into too big of a deal and that I am being immature about all of this and that she doesn't want me adding on any extra stress. Tonight has been a low point where she told me that she is pushing me away and even went as far as remove any trace of our relationship from Facebook (stupid I know but the effort was still intentional). \nI have no idea what to do or how to talk to her about it because every time we do she always tries to pin blame on me and I have to even go as far as apologizing for bringing it up just to get her to stop arguing. \nPlease help reddit, I really care about this girl but it seems like she could care less about whether or not I am in her life at this point.", "summary": "Girlfriend treats me like shit and goes out of her way to make me feel insignificant all while calling me immature for trying to tell her to stop hurting me."} {"id": "t3_16ypax", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[19M] Met a [18F] at a club the other night. Any hope?", "post": "So my friend randomly invited me to a club this last friday and after some time 5 women start dancing next to us, and eventually we go out for a chat. Nothing special, just introductions and small talk about where we live and study.\n\nDid some more dancing and had a little break with minimal conversation at the bar, back to the dance floor, then back out to cool down. Turns out my friend is this girl's friend's half-brother, but the only conversation that goes on is briefly about just that topic before one of the group pulls us all in to grab our coats and leave.\n\nWe all head out for the night buses, I try to have a chat with her with little success due to group interuptions and phone calls galore. \n\nWe all managed to somehow pick up some random bloke in a shopping cart because I guess the others were drunk or something, but nothing really exciting happens and we end up at the bus station where me and my friend hug all these girls goodbye and head off to the subway.\n\nWe're all friends on facebook now, but I don't know if it's pointless or not to try and get this girl out for a bite on the internet with just this experience... Wondering if I missed my last chance that night. Any thoughts?", "summary": "Met a girl in a group at a club. Never had any real conversation, but would still like to try and get a date with her."} {"id": "t3_258pl5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [22F] not sure if I am overreacting or not about my boyfriend [23M] constantly texting this girl. Should I just let it go?", "post": "So let me start off by saying we've been together almost a year and I am living with him. We also have been trying to find a cute girl to have some fun with, no emotions attached. \n\nA few weeks ago my boyfriend told me how this girl he works with was kinda cute and he had smiled at her a few times. He works in IT so one night when the place was empty he was working on her computer and found an email of her saying that this guy smiles at her and she just blushes and wishes she could talk to him. \n\nHe told me this and we were thinking maybe we could all hook up. Next thing I know he tells me he got her number, at first I was happy and asked if he thought she'd be into a 3sum. He said no and that she seemed to be a girl looking for something more. I started noticing he was always texting her and at first he would tell me what they were talking about, trying to ease my jealousy, but it was just so constant. A few weeks go by and he still texts her every day all day. From morning to night. I tell him it now makes me uncomfortable because I know she likes him. He says she's just a friend and she likes country music so there's no way he'd leave me for her. \n\nWe have gotten into a few fights over it, me crying and jealous and him just getting annoyed and saying he won't leave me and they are just friends.\nNow, I try and keep it to myself but he still texts her every single day all day. I have no idea what they are talking about. Hell she probably knows more about him than me. But he doesn't seem to care that it bothers me and tells me that it shouldn't and that I have male friends I talk to all the time. Which I do, but not nearly as much. \nSomeone please just tell me if I am going crazy here or if I should really be concerned. I don't know what to do. I trust him but I just. It makes me so uncomfortable and I wish he'd understand that.", "summary": "Boyfriend is texting another girl. He knows I know. He says they are just friends. Should I be worried or am I just paranoid?"} {"id": "t3_1w5bje", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21 F] I have never really dated and I am worried that I am starting behind the curve", "post": "I am a 21 year old female, I have been in one 2 month relationship but it didn't really go any where mainly because I was really uncomfortable. I am worried that now that I am starting to look at the dating scene that my inexperience will mean that I am setting my self up to fail as any one I have talked to has seemed to expect sex and I am not ready for that for a while as I will have to feel really comfortable to do that with someone. \n\nI also am wondering if there is something wrong with me as very few people have expressed interest in dating me, and if there is anything I can do to make it more obvious I am open to a relationship.", "summary": "I am a little insecure with my self and worry that not having any experience dating at 21 will make dating more difficult. Am I just making things harder for myself?"} {"id": "t3_2abtlk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my friends [20M, 20 M] from high school of 5 years, are my roommates and they have gone completely mental from using way too much drugs last night/being irresponsible with it. What should I do?", "post": "So my friends and I are living in my parents' apartment and they have just irresponsibility used drugs with led to them being crazy and mental. One of my friends was super super hyper and was running down the streets charging at other cars, hitting other people, running around banging on doors and trying to open them. My other friend intentionally overdosed on some medication and he told me super depressing/gruesome (probably made up) stories of his relatives or whatever. I am at my parents' house right now at 9AM in the morning (they dont know yet) and I am still shaking from this ordeal. I don't think I can think rationally so I leave it up to you guys. Please help, what can I do, what is the best plan?", "summary": "Friends irresponsibly used drugs last night and I'm not sure what to do about it or how to handle it."} {"id": "t3_18hx0a", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by inadvertently calling a Girl Scout fat", "post": "I was at the grocery store today and there were Girl Scouts selling cookies. One of the girls was eating a box of Thin Mints and there where open boxes of cookies all around her. She asked me if I would like to buy any cookies, to which I replied \" No thanks I'm trying to lay off cookies, and by the looks of it you should too.\" I was in no way trying to call her fat but I suppose to a 12 year old girls mind I was. She burst out crying and confessed that she was bulimic and hated herself. A crowd gathered around her crying with her. I quietly slipped out and ran back to my car.\nI really fucked up.", "summary": "I inadvertently called a Girl Scout fat, to which she confessed she had an eating disorder and caused a crying crowd to join her."} {"id": "t3_3ubvla", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "First post here. GF [20] of 4 years has been showing a loss of affection over the last several months. Plz halp", "post": "Title. My girlfriend of 4 years, she's 20 I'm 19 [M], has shown a loss of affection over the last several months. We've talked about it a bit and attributed it to a combination of stress, and bc. She has switched BC twice since then, if I'm not mistaken, and has had quite a bit of stress relief through a combination of perseverance, and spa stuff. I am doing my best to be supportive of her because I know she is as worried about this as I am, however it is starting to affect my self esteem, and more recently, bringing on a recurring issue with depression. We've also discussed the possibility of her simply being bored, unattracted, or unhappy with me, all of which she denied up and down. I have run out of ideas. I just want her to be better, if not for our relationship, purely to make her happier. I need help.", "summary": "GF has showed a lack of affection over the last several months. We've tried a lot of stuff. It's starting to hurt me in various ways. "} {"id": "t3_52bnnm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] 1.5 years, Criticism is taking its toll on our relationship", "post": "Hi everyone, \n\nI need some advice. I've been dating the same man for 1.5 years (living together for 6 months) and am seriously beginning to question our relationship. Every time he gets angry (for example, I told him I had to leave his company BBQ early to study for grad school tests) he lashes out by criticizing me. Specifically, he talks a lot about how I'm no fun, I need to let loose, my friends are \"nerds\" and I'm not sociable with his friends enough. I will admit it, I am rather shy kind of a \"nerdy\" girl while he was the total jock/popular kid in high school. I honestly do try to hang out with his friends but whenever there is any argument he brings up how I'm boring or am too shy. I've tried telling him that's just the way I am and I've made an effort to be more outgoing with his friends but we are just so far apart on this and I feel even more pressure to be \"cool\" when I hang out with his friends. \n\nWhat really bothers me is that he spews so many insults during arguments that are irrelevant when I make a point of not doing that because I know it is pointless and won't solve the argument. He has also expressed how he has to try \"so hard\" to keep our relationship intact by being someone he normally isn't. \n\nI'm wondering if since our personalities are so different that we just are not meant to be together eventually. What is taking a toll on me is not our differences, but the constant criticism of my personality, which honestly is never going to permanently change. I've told him this but every fight is the same thing. I just don't want to keep wasting my time if this guy isn't \"the one\", but I'm not sure if this i just a trivial thing that we will eventually get over, or a major red flag. \n\nThoughts? Advice?", "summary": "Boyfriend constantly criticizes me for not being like him, or how he wants me to be. Having second thoughts."} {"id": "t3_3ex6rz", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Is it legal to set up video surveillance to protect myself against my landlord? [VA]", "post": "I posted yesterday explaining the full situation without much response so I'll keep this short.\n\nLandlord went a little crazy and I felt I needed to get my girlfriend and myself out. She agreed to let us out of our lease early (verbally) and she took the termination papers we made to \"look them over\" last night.\n\nDuring the conversation she kept halfway accusing us of stealing from her.\n\nDue to past circumstances, I decided to set up motion detection software on my laptop that activates the camera and sends me notifications when there's activity. \n\nI was not expecting to actually get anything but about an hour ago the landlord entered our room while nobody was home and brought in 3 people. From the conversation I heard I believe they were interested in renting the property. \n\nThis was never mentioned to us. \n\nThis, by itself, isn't a huge issue but on top of everything else it's bothersome. \n\nI do not plan on bringing this up unless it's necessary for legal reasons or for leverage if she tries to stop us from leaving. My question is, is it legal for me to recording in my rented property like this?", "summary": "Landlady is crazy, set up a camera and caught her in my room. Is it legal for me to be recording on her property?"} {"id": "t3_n7tgp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit! Help me think of a an awesome gift for my nerdy 15-year-old brother who has everything.", "post": "My half brother is a great but spoiled kid. I want to finally be considered his cool older sister and get him something creative for Christmas that he doesn't already have- but since he spends most of his free time online he knows what's new in video games and computers already. He also gets anything he wants by asking his parents. (Yeah, I know, lame.) I'm hoping Reddit can help me come up with a great gift for under $100 that will appeal to his geeky sensibilities while maybe expanding his horizons a bit. \n\nSome details that might help:\n\nHas every current gaming system.\nBuilt his own computer last year.\nIs a SCUBA certified rescue diver.\nLoves Dr. Who.\nMilitant atheist. \nRedditor. \nLoves travel- goes to 2 or 3 countries every year with my Dad and step-mom. (I KNOW.)\nSarcastic and witty. \nVery mature for his age.\n\nI appreciate the help, Reddit! I'll make sure and credit you when I give him his present.", "summary": "Nerdy 15-year-old get's everything he wants from his parents. Help me think of a creative gift he doesn't know about already."} {"id": "t3_3evbkk", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "You Wanted Ray Bans, You're Getting Glitter Instead", "post": "Two weeks ago, I had the week from hell.\n\nFirst, I get a call telling me my estranged father is dead and the medical examiner where he lived left his dead body to rot in his apartment. They apparently wanted me to make arrangements for a funeral home to pick him up. I've never heard of such ass-backwards logic.\n\nThen we find out the shipping service we used for our cross-country move is going to be a week late delivering most of our belongings, so my boyfriend and I get to sleep on the floor for an extra week. \n\nThen I wind up in the ER with a kidney infection. So I'm grieving, sleeping on a floor, and in pain. I feel like all this back story is necessary because it gives you my frame of mind.\n\nThe shit-icing on the top of the diarrhea cake that was my week appeared when I checked my PayPal account. Some thieving douche canoe used my PayPal to pay for her pair of brand spankin' new Ray Bans. I was livid. \n\nOf course I went through the proper channels informing PayPal that there was fraudulent activity on my account. I also emailed the eBay seller so they knew not to mail them out and lose the inventory. \n\nThe wonderfully stupid thing that this thief didn't account for is that she had to put her shipping information in to get the sunglasses. I could see her address since she used my account to pay for her goods. \n\nIf you're still with me, here's where the petty revenge comes in. I went to the dollar store and bought some glitter. I folded a piece of paper up like a normal letter, but instead of friendly salutations or even a bill, she's going to find a fuckload of glitter inside. Hopefully she opens it and gets glitter all over herself and her belongings. Don't fuck with me, lady. I'll fight dirty. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies as you likely know. (No offense to anyone with herpes. That shit is manageable with antivirals. Glitter is forever.)", "summary": "Thief picked the wrong week to use my PayPal account to buy herself some sunglasses. I canceled the order and mailed her a buttload of glitter instead."} {"id": "t3_45vhmu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21M] getting mixed responses from someone I've been flirting and hang out with. [19 F]", "post": "So, I'm the president of a roleplaying/board game club here at my university, and recently a new girl joined our club a month ago and I've started to grow pretty fond of her. We have a lot of the same interests and she has a very nice, albeit a sarcastic personality, but that's all the better for me because it rolls with my personality as well.\n\nAnyways, I started flirting with her and we've gone ice skating together once, but I'm not certain if she is entirely into it. I've asked her to go on a date with me on Valentine's Day to the movies to go see Deadpool, but she said that she had too much homework to do so (Which makes sense, our school gives a lot of work) and I did ask her only two days before Valentine's Day. I asked her if she'd be willing to \n\nI did get her a carnation delivered to her door on Valentine's Day (I usually get one for all my close friends so its not too out of the ordinary, although I have only known her for a month)\n\nSo right now, we still talk and I'm really unsure of where I should go from here. I can't tell her if she isn't interested in me romantically and just want to stay friends, but I'm getting mixed signals so I'm uncertain of what to do here. I don't know whether I should just backoff and just move on, or to proceed. I feel like I put the ball in her court to respond, but these mixed responses are making me confused on where to go from here.", "summary": "I've been getting mixed responses from the person but I can't tell if she's just really a busy person or if she likes me back."} {"id": "t3_3hf9pn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[UK] I [27/m] have have separated from my girlfriend [24/f] but we have a house. How do I proceed?", "post": "I decided to end things with my girlfriend after our relationship broke down. However we have a house and a mortgage and a joint account. I want to know how to proceed. I'll give some details: \n \nWe bought the house in February from her parents. It cost us just shy of \u00a3130K and the mortgage is approx. \u00a3550 a month. There are no outstanding jobs that need doing to the maintenance of the house (just yet). The house has 3 bedrooms and a driveway. (Not sure if all of these details are necessary but you always get someone who seems to need to know!) \n \nWe currently pay all of the bills as well as our fuel costs from a joint account. We also have our own personal accounts, as well as another locked joint account that we have to sign together to withdraw from. All our accounts are with NatWest, except her personal account that is with HSBC. \n \nThe way I see it, we have both have a right to the house, and I am not bitter enough to make her leave. But I also refuse to leave. This is my house too and I have put in lots of work already. If it should come down to her wanting me to leave, what are my rights? And where can I find our about this kind of thing?\n \nThanks for any advice you can give me.", "summary": "GF and I have split up. we have a house. I want to know the proper channels through which to sort this mess out."} {"id": "t3_2jvs9s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [26m] female friend [24] wants to go on a weekend camping/paintball trip with the group", "post": "Every year, a few of my friends and I all go on this weekend paintball/camping trip for a scenario game. It's a ton of fun and a blast to camp out in early November when it's nice and cool and when fires are necessary. \n\nOver the past 3 or so years a friend of mine named Kristen has expressed interest in going on the trip but never knew about it beforehand. She actually remembered this year. However, I'm not sure that she would be welcomed onto the trip with open arms. Firstly, the majority of those going are in relationships and their spouses are pretty jealous. Not sure how they would feel with a single lady sharing a tent with their boyfriends/husbands, especially when there are notorious sleep fuckers lurking in tents these days\u2026 \n\nSecondly, there is friction between her and some of the other guys that go. Kristen has a very abrasive personality, but it's one of the reasons I get a kick out of her. I'm used to it and I don't take anything she says personally, but others tend to. Thirdly, this has primarily been a guy's weekend kind of deal. In the past one of our friends brought his girlfriend and everything was fine, but she hasn't been back since the first year I went 5 or so years ago. \n\nHow do I politely and gracefully brace her with the fact that she might not be welcomed to go along on the trip? It is scheduled for the second weekend of November.", "summary": "Female friend wants to go on a paintball/camping trip, not sure if she is welcomed to go. How do I tactfully approach this?"} {"id": "t3_ro8zz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit I need advice. My little brother is 14 years old and is fucking up his life big time. What can I do", "post": "I need advice suggestions, anything that could help me help him out. For the story's sake we shall call my brother Taylor. Here is the backstory.\n\nFirstly we in no way have a hard home life however Taylor was simply unable to deal with the rules that my mum laid down so he left.\n\nTaylor is screwing up his life badly he has not lived at home since NYE and this does not look like changing anytime soon. He currently lives with his friend and between them they have managed to stir up alot of trouble with the cops. For obvious reasons I will not go into depth of what they have been up to however from what I know it includes, Drug possession, use and distribution, Theft, breaking and entering and fighting. There may be more but I am unsure. On top of this he is involved in a gang whose 'leader' is supposedly going to jail soon. Taylor believes he can take over this gang while their 'leader' is in jail.\n\nHe has also been caught stealing food from his school last monday and was suspended. When my mum went in for an interview with the school (3rd one he has been enrolled at) the cops came and discussed/told my mum the majority of this. I literally could not think of a worse way to find out this information. It is their belief that he is going down soon and he is going to crash and burn.\n\nOn top of all this my dad past away on 31/3 last year and my brother did not even attempt to contact us or come to a family barbecue we were having for the 1 year anniversary of this (event?)\n\nSo tell me reddit what can I do to help my brother, with my family, to keep him out of trouble with the cops, and to just generally get his life back on track.\n\nPlease feel free to ask any questions about anything that you are unsure of as there is a multitude of other information I can offer but cannot be bothered to think of and write off the top off my head.", "summary": "My brother hasn't lived at home in 4 months and is about to be in a shit ton of trouble with the cops. How can I help?"} {"id": "t3_1wf9ya", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "If you have someone's address, how can you use it for some non-violent, non-aggressive revenge techniques?", "post": "So, this guy asked me to write up an extensive Resume, Cover Letter and Selection Criteria Statment for him via an ad I posted online for CV writing services. I did the work and sent him the document at an agreed amount of $100. I should've been more careful, but ive never had problems before and trusted he would pay me. Anyway, he turned around after receiving the document saying he didn't like it and had had the work done by someone else, which is impossible as this was literally an hour after I emailed it too him. ANYWAY, I have his home address from his CV. What revenge techniques could I take. I want more annoying than aggressive. Can I sign him up to mailing lists etc. without getting myself in trouble?", "summary": "Guy scammed me out of $100 for hours of writing work. I have his address. Give me some non-violent revenge tips."} {"id": "t3_2r6ba8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Been in a best guy friend/unofficial boyfriend phase and I want to get further than that with one of my best woman friends but she is afraid to go further due to possibly breaking up.", "post": "So i'm a male in my early 20's and I go to a local community college in which almost a year ago I met a woman (early 20's also) who has rapidly become one of my best friends from January 2014 to now.\n\nWe have been really close as friends but we are also somewhat intimate with each other. We act like a couple except without the title and the rest that follows with it.\n\nWe talked recently about being together as a couple because we act like one and she told me that she doesn't want to risk losing me as a friend as I am one of the few people she actually trusts.\n\nSo basically I am just wondering if there is any advice going forward on this or to try something new or just stay friends and not try anything further.", "summary": "Woman friend and I act like a couple but not actually one. I want to be a couple but she is afraid of losing me. What do?"} {"id": "t3_4kge6f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25F] wondering if I should get back together with [31M] ex-boyfriend", "post": "Five months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months because I was concerned about his lack of ambition. He was unemployed and not seeking future employment. He was 100% financially supported by his parents, living in an apartment on his own. \n\nThat being said, we got along wonderfully. He was thoughtful, kind, and funny, and made me incredibly happy. He was my first boyfriend but also my closest friend. We continue to be close friends today and I trust him completely.\n\nI broke up with him in large part because I was embarrassed. I'm incredibly ambitious- I work part-time and am working on my master's degree. In some ways, it didn't feel self-respecting to be with him. When we broke up, I told him I was feeling overwhelmed by all my commitments and needed to take some time to myself.\n\nI figured I would feel less ambivalent about breaking up with him as time went on, but I only miss our relationship more and more. Maybe I'm just inexperienced. On the other hand, I know he has depression and I don't know if things would ever get better once he got it under better control.", "summary": "Inexperienced 25F can't decide if she should get back together with her no-life-prospects but otherwise delightful 31M ex-boyfriend."} {"id": "t3_1eh9lk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Has anyone ever NOT regretted cheating? M-late30s F-late40s", "post": "I'm in a LTR of over 10 years that is pleasant but can be a bit dull. My GF is around 10 years older than me which was great when we were late 20s & late 30s and in our sexual primes together, but now in our late 30s & late 40s she's losing her libido and I'm losing interest. There's some emotional distance too, I don't really find her stimulating as a person anymore (Not necessarily her fault, I mean who has new ideas after 10+ years?) and she's just a little too constantly there. I work in a major city and want space when I'm home, she very rarely leaves the house and I'm her only companionship most days. We've tried to work through all this and more but it's not easy to get excited to be with her most of the time.\n\nMeanwhile I have a younger woman showing some real interest - blatantly trying to take me home in fact, and I'm somewhat tempted to let her. I've never really had a lot of hookups, only multi-year relationships, and she seems really cool, a real fire and spark to her that I'm missing at home. I'm sure it's a terrible idea and something that I'd probably regret, but part of me wants to experience this before I get too old.\n\nI'm not sure I believe that monogamy is natural for humans. But that's no excuse. I just believe we'd all be better off without the outdated rules that bind us, they shouldn't apply now that we have good birth control and live for 70-80 years.", "summary": "I've been faithful for over 10 years but am facing a challenge. Probably wont go through with cheating but the temptation is huge."} {"id": "t3_3fo0te", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [M/22] think figured out why I have a fear of commitment last night, and I want to know if its a reasonable diagnosis!", "post": "So I have a fear of commitment when I enter into relationships. This is the main reason none of them have worked out. Last night I was laying in bed thinking and I think I know where it stems from.\n\nI feel that my fear of commitment is more deeply rooted by my fear of failure. I fear giving 100% of myself to something, only to have the possibility of failure (rejection). If I don't commit 100% to the relationship, it is much easier for me to move on if there is a break up (there always is). \n\nI feel I can relate this to many parts of my life. I don't ever give 100%, because I am scared that if I fail, it really just means 'my best isn't good enough'.\n\nWhat do you guys think? Is this fear of failure a common occurrence? Does it lead to fear of commitment? Personal stories are welcome! How did you get over it? etc...", "summary": "I think my 'fear of commitment' stems from my deeper rooted fear of not being good enough (fear of failure) when giving my 100%. "} {"id": "t3_10d3om", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I was recently diagnosed with having a couple small kidney stones, and I've been patiently waiting to pass them. Reddit, what's the most painful thing you've ever experienced?", "post": "About a week ago, I was noticing some minor pain in my lower back and difficulty urinating. After it didn't really go away, I went to a walk-in clinic and had them check me out. They said it wasn't a UTI, probably just a minor kidney infection. They gave me some antibiotics and I was on my way.\n\nI e-mailed my physician two days ago and told him this story. He said a kidney infection usually has coincidental symptoms that I wasn't experiencing, so I went to the ER just in case it was something worse. After urinalysis and a CT scan, they said there was some blood in my pee but the CT scan failed to detect anything large. The doc said it was probably a small (or several small) kidney stone(s).\n\nSince then, I've been chugging water with lemon juice, cranberry juice, and been taking pain medication. I have continued soreness around my flanks and lower back, and every so often I have a sharp, stabbing pain in the area. The sharp stabbing pain SEEMS to have moved, first to my lower back, and now to my sides. I'm hoping this means the stone or stones are moving slowly. \n\nI have heard that passing a kidney stone is equivalent to childbirth in terms of pain, and I'm not really looking forward to passing it. So while I bide my time, what's the most painful thing you've ever experienced, reddit?", "summary": "probably have a couple small kidney stones that I need to pass. Supposed to hurt like shit. What's the most painful thing you've ever experienced?"} {"id": "t3_43i7gc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Gamer [27 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] of a month is jealous and overly competitive.", "post": "We've been dating for a month, we're gamers and friends of 6 years. She's gotten a new living situation and a job recently that has not allowed her to play the same games as much as I can. She's becoming jealous and upset now that I have the time to do so and it is tearing us apart. \n\nToday we had an argument saying that she doesn't want to limit my time, but will be upset if I put more time into my hobby than she gets to. My response was that I could just play another game or do something else with my life. This is fine to me, but it does feel quite restricting knowing that I cannot do what is fun because of her insecurities she is not entirely upfront with.\n\nI suggested we try to find another enjoyable hobby together, and she does not want to do that. She says again that I can do whatever I'd like to do, but she will be upset anyways. She's jealous of my group of friends as some are girls, and if I play the games with them she will be doubly upset. I feel like there is no give and take here, as I am not one to be jealous or competitive with her and it is a very large turn-off for me.\n\nI apologize for my English, not my native tongue!", "summary": "Girlfriend is competitive and not supportive; does not want to restrict my actions but I know she will be upset at just about anything I do better than her."} {"id": "t3_3ni9bi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my girlfriend [23 F] of 11 months, I'm growing concerned with the \"openness\" of our relationship.", "post": "I've never felt so comfortable and happy with someone before, especially someone I'm dating. Recently, we've been testing the limits of the openness of our relationship, with my suggestion and initiation. We've engaged in a multiple moresomes and they have been enjoyable, with no ill effects. We both find the thought and reality of seeing each other with others hot. Both within these settings and outside of them, we don't get jealous much. \n\nThe other day, she suggested we should get Tinder just for fun and I was down for this. After a few days, we looked at each other's matches and read the conversations had with these matches. She was having fun flirting with others and checking out my matches. I had been less flirty than her on the app, however, and she already had people asking her out and she was asking me if we would be okay with meeting people from the app. I kind of gave her a non-answer and she dropped the topic. It kind of hit me then that I didn't know, for her, if Tinder was really just for fun or not. \n\nI think I'm a romantically monogamous person at heart and I don't exactly want my girlfriend to be with some other guy/girl on a date. I just have so many questions right now. Was Tinder just an excuse? Does she want to see other people? How can I tell her that I'm not okay with this without feeling like I'm stifling her freedom? What if she wants to be FWBs? Is this actually my fault for even opening things up in the first place? \n\nIf anyone has experience with being on either side of this kind of situation, it would be great to get some input and advice.", "summary": "Girlfriend and I have been sexually adventurous and open together. After using Tinder, I'm worried about where we stand now and have more questions than ever."} {"id": "t3_saf7k", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Have not found a definitive answer to this: if both partners have had herpes (HSV-1) orally, what's the situation?", "post": "Frankly, I haven't been able to find any definitive answer on this and so I was hoping maybe reddit would be able to help and perhaps help out others with the same question.\n\nMy girlfriend and I both had cold sores when we were children, so we both have the HSV-1 strain of herpes. So far, we've used condoms and dental dams during oral sex due to the risk of transmitting HSV-1 to each others' genitals, but I'm wondering if this precaution is necessary. Since we both have had exposure to the HSV-1 strain and therefore both should have antibodies for it, would it even be possible to cause problems on the genital area if we were to engage in oral sex unprotected?\n\nAnswers I've been able to find have ranged from \"it's a non-issue if you both have the same strain of herpes\" to \"always use protection since you can cause problems\". So, what's the real answer?", "summary": "my girlfriend and I both have herpes (HSV-1) due to cold sores - can we engage in unprotected oral sex without causing problems?"} {"id": "t3_2uypp3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my ex BF [28 M]. He is soon to be kicked out of the country and wants me to help him create his own company so he can sponsor himself to stay. How do I deal?", "post": "I was with my boyfriend for 3 months, we broke up and I moved away to be away from him. He has now conveniently moved where I am and called me up to help him set up his own business to sponsor himself to stay in the country. He has asked if i will sign a couple of documents to be the 'director' of his subcontracting company as he needs someone he can trust and he doesn't really have anyone else to ask. I feel obliged to do it, as that if I don't, he has to leave the country. Even although he upset me (through minor infidelity - which is why we broke up) I still want whats the best for him and for him to say in the country. He is manipulating me by telling me he will pay me a wage if i do this 'favour' for him.\n\nThe reason why i haven't blocked him out of my life is I do think he is a good guy, I am all he has in terms of a good friend and he still owes me some money which he has been paying me back. \nI do want to help him but I don't want to get myself into any legal trouble.", "summary": "Ex bf wants me to help him so he doesn't get kicked out of the country, but I don't want to put myself at risk."} {"id": "t3_309wm2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (22/f) depressed s/o (25/m) doesn't want help and doesn't know if he wants relationship", "post": "cross posted this to /r/depression\n\nMy s/o of 2.5 years has been depressed the whole time we've been together. I went through major depression my teen years and have recently just felt better about life I guess in the past year. He's always super negative and pessimistic and it gets taken out on me sometimes.\n\nHe's been acting really weird lately and it all came to a head last night. I decided to talk to him about it, and he said he needs some time off. He said he doesn't feel as satisfied by our relationship anymore, and he's been unhappy for a long time in general. i already knew the second part. He's been suggesting in the past few months we move in together this fall when both our leases are up, and a few weeks ago we had a big talk where he told me I'm all he's ever wanted and he wants to build a life with me.\n\nHe was crying a lot and saying he didn't think he was cut out for a relationship but he cared about me and wanted me around. I told him he couldn't have both of those things, and he said he didn't want to lose me but he didn't know if he wanted a relationship. I've suggested therapy, exercise, changing his diet, doing something multiple times...he said he feels so alone and has always been this way and doesn't know how to be any other way. I'm giving him a few days of space but i don't know what's going to happen. I can't be with somebody who refuses to help themselves. I feel like I keep putting in all this effort and it's all for nothing. I don't want it to be over but I feel like his depression is too great and we've hit a wall. Has anyone else ever dealt with something like this? I feel like I understand what he's saying but I also feel so confused and alone. I feel like he's just giving up on us.", "summary": "s/o is depressed and feels like he is unfit for relationship. doesn't want to lose me but feels unsatisfied."} {"id": "t3_3dv1dn", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting my line in a play.", "post": "Like most of you, this TIFU didn't happen today, but in first grade. \n\nThe setup:\n\nIn the school play that year, the concept was where a poor town is visited by a wealthy King and the king secretly helps out the town, and then shows the love of Jesus to the town. Typical private school play.\n\nMy parents were excited for me and so they taught me improv. I couldn't get enough of it! I was doing improv with nearly every line, even though I knew the actual ones. This leads up to my TIFU.\n\nThe TIFU: \n\nIn the play, I had to say a line about how rich the king was. Due to all of the improv I had done, I forgot the actual line. That's when it hit me! I had remembered hearing the term \"Golden Shower\" somewhere and thought it meant being showered in gold, meaning that you're rich. \nI then said the line \"You're so rich. I bet you get a lot of golden showers!\" This was followed by shock from the \u00fcber-conservative crowd and an unexpected halftime.", "summary": "In first grade said that a character in the play must've gotten lots of golden showers during a performance to an extremely conservative crowd."} {"id": "t3_2j4erb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it normal that I [21/M] feel guilty for sleeping with a girl, when I'm single and still talking to my ex[20/F] ?", "post": "So my ex and I have been broken up for about 3 months now, because I moved away to a different city. Throughout these passed few months we've still been talking and haven't let go of one another. I brought up a serious conversation about doing an LDR and she declined. Just wanted to keep things the way they were. Talking to one another, but not dating. She said it's too much work, and I think she just likes the attention she gets from other guys now as well. \n\nI came back to visit for a visit to my old city and hooked up with a girl. Now I feel extremely guilty. Is this normal? Should I feel like this? Or should I not really be feeling bad?", "summary": "Still talk to ex gf, we haven't let go. I asked for ldr she said no, I hooked up with a girl and feel guilty."} {"id": "t3_3lknlp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my ex girlfriend [17 F] of 3 months, broke up yesterday. She then began to cut again.", "post": "My girlfriend of 3 months and I broke up yesterday. It was an okay relationship but had its downs and that's why it ended. Some backstory, we started dating this summer just for the heck of it. She gave me her secrets and I gave her mine like most couples do. One of them was very dark and something that haunts me even. She was molested at a very young age and still has nightmares about it. Her way of getting over it was to cut. You would never ever guess she was the kind of person who does that. \n\nSo she hasn't been cutting for a solid two years. That was good and I was supportive of her in the whole thing. This week however, things got rocky. I wanted different things and I'm not really feeling up to dating anymore and was starting to show a lack of interest. I told her that I want to end this and she didn't take it well at all.\n\nShe was very distraught over it and kept saying how she wanted to stay together. I however told her that I just can't in my own self interest. She understood, I told her I was here for her to talk and that if she needed someone, that she can come to me. I left it at that and had a nice night with some friends. \n\nSo fast forward to this morning. I wake up, take my daily run, and get a haircut. Then I get a message. Turns out that my ex started cutting herself last night. This leaves me at a very tough spot. She says it's not because of me but I don't believe that for a second. I promised to her that I wouldn't tell anyone but also made her promise she would get help. I'm really not sure what to think or do right now and any advice would be great. Thanks.", "summary": "Broke up with girlfriend of 3 months, she started cutting again after two years of not doing it. Now I'm not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_3bipgy", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By singing at a party.", "post": "Recently, both I, and many other friends have turned 18, and in this new age of drinking and sex, there are of course, also, parties. \n\nNow at this particular party, on Saturday evening (so it was *nearly* today) there was a rather beautiful girl named Stacy - and in my semi-drunken state of arousal I tried to pick her up, and yet somehow my brain decided that the best way to do this would be to ask: \"[Has your Mom got it going on?] \n\nHere's where I fucked up.\n\nShe burst into tears and ran from the room, just as the music went quiet. Everyone stared at me.\n\nI knew that my singing was *bad*, but even by my standards, this wasn't a normal reaction!\n\nAsking around later, it turns out that she'd run away from home only three weeks ago after her stepfather physically and sexually abused both her and her mother.\n\nAnd no sexy times were had.", "summary": "Decided to sing to a hot girl, hoping to pick her up, she burst into tears, but it wasn't due to my singing."} {"id": "t3_2qsmbo", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Am I the asshole?", "post": "So I have lived in Vancouver, BC for just under a year now. Took a sales job, hired someone, trained them to sell. They improved far better than me, and ended up opening their own office at 19. Impressive, right?\n\nHe offered me a job, to poach me from my other office. I didn't take it because I wasn't sure he would succeed. Or that he might get sued for a non compete. \n\nI stayed at the old office for a few months more, found that the boss was cheating me out of money. Left, didn't want to do that type of sales again. \n\nFew months go by, money is getting tight. My former student offers me a job. I take it, ask if he would do me a favour of helping me move. About 2-3 hours at most, because I don't have much.\n\nHe says sure, I give him the day (today) and he agrees two weeks in advance. Because he is making a whole lot more than me, I asked if I could borrow a bit of money. He knocks it down to 725. Reasonable, seeing as he is already helping me move. Didn't want to push it.\n\nWe agree to move today, I suggest 1 pm. At 230 he tells me he is going for dinner, but should be good for 8. He is helping me move and giving me money I desperately need. So I agree. \n\nAt 10 I call. Phone isn't picking up, ok. Date went better than expected, I guess. Maybe they went back to his place. And I would never want to block a friend.\n\n1100 rolls around. No answer, so I call his best friend. Maybe it was those two having dinner and got carried away. Annoying, but manageable. \n\nHe answers, I find out the guy who was going to help me move was hanging out. And went home to sleep. I call the guy who was going to help me, still no answer.\n\nAm I right to be furious? Or am I taking his favours (I am in desperate need of money and don't drive) for granted?", "summary": "buddy who I doubted opened office. Offered me help, didn't do it, or so much as tell me he cancelled. Karma?"} {"id": "t3_y22qi", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "26 [M] Should I or shouldn't I?", "post": "So, an ex-GF screwed me out of about $3500, which comes to $6100 with interest. She needed the money, because she stole it from her former place of work (a jewelery store). It's been a year now and all she says is \"I have no money, no job. Leave me alone.\".\n\nSo, I'm currently broke, no job and living with my parents. And I have MASSIVE debt. So, I'm planning on going over to her house and covering it with posters with her name and picture on it, asking for my money.\n\nIf shit goes down, I got people. Serious people.", "summary": "Ex GF screwed me out of $$$. Gonna go put \"WANTED FOR PAYMENT posters in front of her house. Not sure what or if to do it."} {"id": "t3_2luiyr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I (19/f) talk to future roommates (19/m) and (23/m) that I don't want to pay full rent if I share a room with my partner (19/m)", "post": "So next year myself, my boyfriend (we will call him M), out bestfriend (we will call him J) and another friend (we will call him C) want to move out of our respective parents homes and into a flat together.\n\nI am really comfortable around these guys so there won't be a problem living with three guys and being the only girl.\n\nThe thing is though, if we move out we would be getting a three bedroom place and I would have to share a room with my partner. I feel like my partner and I should not have to pay the same rent as the others because we won't get the same 'value for money' kind of thing. If I pay the same rent I would want my own room to use for my own purposes even if I was sleeping in the same room as my partner. \n\nI don't mind splitg other cost like water and lights equally because that's something we all are using. It's just I don't know how to bring it up or how we would split it. \n\nAlso the reason I don't want to pay full rent is I will be the only one still studying while everyone else is working full time. J has a tendincy of 'forgetting' that fact and signing me up for things I can't really afford and my boyfriend then has to pay for me. It's never a huge deal but I'm afraid it will continue when we live together and I just won't be able to cope financially and I really don't want to put extra pressure on my boyfriend.", "summary": "I'm planning to move out with friends and I don't want to pay the same rent as other without getting the same use of the flat. How do I bring this up with the group?"} {"id": "t3_2ghsvk", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Meeting a fellow runner ruined my plan but turned out great", "post": "Just wanted to share my experience from yesterday. \n\nI'm training for a HM in about 6 weeks and my schedule had a 2 hour long run for me on Sunday. I started nice and easy for the first hour, enjoying the run, the weather and the beautifull forest. After about an hour I came across a fellow runner on an intersection. We introduced ourselves to eachother and decided to run together in a second. Somehow it was just the natural and fun way to go. Hey, who are you? Shall we run together?.... Just as easy. The next 45 minutes we ran together and I loved it. Just chatting an relaxing and sharing stories. Running way faster than my plan though, he was a lot more experienced than I was, therefore I left my run a bit short. \n\nI never run with other people, I like running alone without any distractions (no music etc). Just me, my breathing and my cadence. This experience was very good to step out of my comfort zone and relax a bit more about my plan. During the run together I never thought of my pace, my heartrate, my cadence... I just ran. Somehow I feel more relaxed now about my plan.", "summary": "joining a fellow runner on my long run messed up my plan but was a great experience. Feel more relaxed about my plan and proofs again that you can meet great people while running."} {"id": "t3_lm9jw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to deal with games at the beginning of a relationship?", "post": "Hello everybody,\n\nI (f, 27) have met a very attractive guy (35) on an online dating-site and started to see him every now and then since the beginning of September. \n\nWe are I believe what you would call a \"casual relationship\" that is making me insane. Somehow he behaves more rudely than anybody I ever met before (he drops me at the railway-station without even asking whether he should wait with me for the train, when we walk through a crowd he sometimes walks 10m in front of me without taking my hand, because at some point I said I prefer reducing PDAs, he purposefully ignores me). \n\nThe options are: 1. he's not that interested in me. and\n2. he's playing games\n\nI do not believe that he's not interested, because he would have the possiblity of FWB with me and we have rather trouble filling our time with things we mutually enjoy (I like artsy movies and sports, he likes to smoke and drink). Sex is really good and I generally get good feedback from him. So it must be him playing games.\n\nHe would do things like not meeing me for two weeks, when definitely having the options (he has a car and would have to drive 45 minutes)\nto do so, and during the period calling (for three days every day for an hour and then for four days nothing, and not responding to my calls and calling back much later). \n\nSince I questioned him about his mental sanity (twice) and he assured me that he believes to be sane, I assume he's playing games. What should I do? I like him and sex with him, I don't believe us to have a lot of potential for a serious long-term relationship, because he destroys his body with poinson. However, his games make me think about him constantly and make me want him. Am I the crazy one?", "summary": "casual guy plays games and makes me go crazy for him. This interferes with my other interests (life, work). What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_z5nok", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "A friend thinks I'm a better friend than I am, he's also asked me for money", "post": "I'm going to try to keep this short, but we'll call my friend Mike (25/M) -- I am also 25, and a male. Mike and I went to school together and he didn't have too many friends. So I was nice to him, I talked to him, and we got a long. But we never hung out outside of school. Now, almost 8 years later -- I haven't seen him since. But he'll occasionally message me online (always the initiator). I stay in touch to be nice.\n\nHe's had a hard time. Both parents have died recently, and he's come into some really unfortunate legal troubles. Recently, he's asked me for financial help. If I was a rich person, I'd be happy to help -- because he's been falsely accused of a crime, he's *very* talented at what he does, and I can rapidly see that talent going to waste in the face of financial hardship and stress. \n\nBut I *don't* really have the money, and I can't afford to help. Sure, I have money saved up....but I have my own burdens and financial stresses. If this was one of my best friends I would give all I could in a heartbeat, but how do I let Mike down without sounding like a jerk or feeling bad?", "summary": "Highschool friend thinks I'm his best friend because I was nice to him over the years. Is now asking for money to help with legal troubles. How do I say no without seeming like a dick / Crushing his spirit?"} {"id": "t3_sgg1s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Need help on new relationships.", "post": "Hello. everyone. I don't know if this is the right sub-reddit to post this in but please tell me if I should move it elsewhere.\n\n**Backstory:** I've broken up with my girlfriend of over a year and it was heartbreaking. At first, it was just \"a brake\" for her. I couldn't see this as just a brake (after waiting for about 5 days) and came out straight forward about how all of this is bull shit and that she needs to grow up, how she hurts me and etc. It all went downhill, we still remain friends (she was my best friend for half a year before the relationship). She said that if I waited for a bit longer then everything would've worked out. The **bad part** is - we're completely broken up. I still love her and would like to get together with her again. The **even worse part** is that she constantly reminds me that she has feelings for me, still, but doesn't want to date me. It really hurts me. When I think that I can finally move on and get up on my feet, maybe find a girlfriend, she just throws this out in the field and I curl up in to a ball again. I know this is unhealthy, but I want to maintain a healthy friendship, sooner or later. Even though the friendship will be REALLY awkward.", "summary": "GF broke up with me, doesn't want to get back together with me but constantly reminds me that she misses me and still has feelings for me. I still love her."} {"id": "t3_1bdr1o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "M[16] Just started dating F[17]and I'm stupidly worried, but I need a bit of backup here!", "post": "Right, don't want to waste a lot of peoples time, so I'll be brief.\n\nI found out the girl I've been hopelessly flirting with for the past few weeks is into me, so I asked her to go out to the city on Saturday, we went, it was awkward but I thought it went well, we went on Saturday because she had a driving lesson on Sunday during the day. She said it was smack dab in the middle of the day and would kill her entire day. After our day out she tells me she's going to bed early so she's awake for her lesson... at 10AM. I was a little suspicious but never brought up anything to her, I texted her asking her how she got on a few hours ago, but she hasn't replied. Why wouldn't she say she's doing anything? Is she trying to hide something? I know I'm being paranoid, give me a break, but I'm new to this and I want to know if I should just let it slide. This is the first day we haven't talked in about 3 weeks. Can someone give me a bit of clearance?", "summary": "Girl I'm seeing hasn't replied all day after our first day out together. Is it ok to be a bit paranoid?"} {"id": "t3_4aka6n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (27m) am advancing in life. Fiance (27f) isn't keeping up. Don't know what to do.", "post": "I (27/m) have recently graduated college and got a great job in a new city. For the first time in my life I'm actually successful... I make good money, rent out a great place in a good neighborhood and saving for a house now, I stay in shape by working out, everything is going great. However my fiance (27/f) isn't keeping up. She only has her associates degree and since we started dating (3.5 years ago) has only taken one college class. She doesn't have any goals either personally or professionally. I've tried communicating to her the importance of having goals but she won't listen. She sleeps 9 hours a day and just wants to watch Netflix and drink after work, which was cool in college, but not so much now. Now that we live in a more expensive place she can barely pay her half of the rent, I'm stuck with getting food and anything else we need. I've tried telling her that this is a problem but nothing ever changes. I don't know what to do. I really love her but I don't want to live the rest of my life with a partner that acts like this. She's the only gf I've ever had as well, I don't even know how to break up. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "I'm going after it and building my life, fiance is awesome but not keeping up/ helping herself. PlzHalp"} {"id": "t3_3qqny0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20M] forgot my girlfriend [20F] of 11month's birthday. How do I fix this?", "post": "Hi, this is a throwaway account. I really screwed myself over here and I need advice on how to fix the situation. \n\nI have been dating my girlfriend, fake name Jane, for just about a year now. I truly love her and she's there for me every day when I need it and beyond. Back in February during my birthday, she got me a few vintage game systems because I mentioned that my dream is to own all of the systems. It was an awesome birthday. Honestly one of the best I can remember.\n\nThis year has been one of the best yet for me. I know a lot of it is because of her. She's very understanding of my hectic work schedule and still finds time in her crazy life to care for me. So I feel crazy guilty right now about forgetting her birthday yesterday. \n\nI asked when her birthday was to verify the date a month or so back. I wanted to get her a very nice gift that she'd mentioned in passing wanting a while ago. She's never had a birthday celebration before because her step mother never allowed for it. I wanted to make this year special. \n\nHowever, I forgot about it. Seriously forgot. I work a lot and eventually it slipped my mind. Yesterday I worked the morning, she came over, cooked me dinner, I went to hang out with my friends, and went to bed. She said nothing. This morning I went to her place and her brother asked how yesterday went. I told him about my day. He asked what I got Jane. I asked what he meant, and he also got confused. He asked what I got for her birthday, and I asked when it's happening. \n\nIt was yesterday. Now she's at work and so am I. I feel like shit. She hasn't said one thing. She hasn't acted angry or upset or anything. I don't know what to say to her. I feel really bad. She's done so much for me and I didn't even remember her birthday.\n\nHow do I bring this up and apologize? Should I do anything to celebrate now without it being awkward? I just have no idea what to even say to her.", "summary": "I forgot my girlfriends birthday and she hasn't mentioned it at all. I feel like shit. How do I bring this up and make things better?"} {"id": "t3_44e190", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Help with a sophomore guy (15M) fix his relationship with his freshman sister(14F).", "post": "Okay. So, during my sophomore homeroom, we had this activity about thanking someone who isn't in our usual friend group. There's a girl in my homeroom, who is kinda close friends with my freshman sister. Y'all know that person, that one who's in your grade but hangs with the freshies. There's also this one girl who thinks they're friends, but who everyone hates. For the sake of privacy, let's call my sister Nancy, her friend Kate, and the girl which everyone hates Brianna.\n\n Last night, Brianna and my sister had a \"talk\" about being friends again, even though Brianna is being a huge bitch about it. My sister and Kate are talking about this subject, and Nancy is telling me everything cause I'm the only one who she's close to in the family. \n\nFast forward to homeroom, being the incredibly dense person I am, I give Kate the thank you note, which says, \" thank you Kate, for talking shit with my sister about Brianna.\" During lunch, Kate goes on to tell everyone in their friend group about the note, so now everyone knows about it. Shit starts going down, Brianna confronts my sister, trust between Nancy and Kate is lost. Fast forward a bit to when school has ended, and my sister is crying in her room.\n\n It's Friday where I live right now, and I have homeroom again on Monday. Is there anything I could do to fix my somewhat close relationship with my sister, and the trust between her and Kate? Thanks in advance, hope someone who actually has experience in this can help. Also, apologies for any grammar mistakes, I'm on my phone.", "summary": "I ruined my sister's social circle, and she hates me for it, enough to ruin her trust with a close friend of hers. How can I regain her trust and our relationship back?"} {"id": "t3_4uh57a", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "About to start my second year teaching", "post": "I am about to start my second year of teaching English I and II at a \"B\" rated school. My administration is wonderful, but teaching multiple preps and co-sponsoring color guard, creative writing club, and being on a positive behavior committee means my hours are closer to 80 hours a week than the 35 I spend actually teaching. Not to mention, a vast majority of the kids I teach do not want to be at school (and are unwilling to learn, no matter how \"interesting\" I make my lessons) and will probably drop out in the next couple of years.\n\nI spent four years in college knowing this is what I wanted to do with my life. I had a great experience student teaching, but going into my second year, I cry almost daily when I think of having to go back to school. \nMy husband has been very supportive and says that he thinks I should consider quitting, but I feel like since I've signed a contract for this year, I am committed to teaching for at least another year.\n\nI am not sure if this is not good for my mental health, but I don't feel like I can abandon my administration, who has done nothing but support me. \n\nWhat should I do?", "summary": "teaching is not what I expected it to be, I am dreading starting my second year, and I am considering quitting."} {"id": "t3_3v1nn7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by hitting on a girl at the gym", "post": "This actually happened the other day. I am a regular at the big box gym here in town and have been for years. I also almost invariably go there early in the morning on the same days as I've made friends with a lot of the other guys that are there at the same time. \n\nSo over the past few months I've noticed a new girl that seems to be on the same schedule as me. She's very fit and athletic looking. She is often wearing shirts for one of the private universities in the state, so I'm figuring she must be a former college athlete coming in before work. She doesn't really talk to anyone, but I've noticed her looking at me a few times. \n\nThe other day, I was finishing up my workout and getting ready to go, when I saw that she was set up behind a booth for one of the health/vitamin stores giving out free samples and what not. So, I stopped by the table before I left and chatted her up a bit. In the end, I said we should hang out sometime and then got her number. Score! Or so I thought. \n\nNow, I should mention that I just turned 30. I do, however, look much younger than that as I'm in really good shape and well, genetics. \n\nAnyways, I was about to text her yesterday to set up a time to hang out, but first out of curiosity I decided to look her up on social media...and here's the fuck up. It turns out she is an athlete. A high school athlete. Needless to say, but I did not text her, and I probably need to find a new gym.", "summary": "Hit on a cute chick from the gym and got her number. Turns out she's still in high school and now I just feel like a creeper."} {"id": "t3_4x4o1i", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "[Help] Puppysitting a 4m/o pitbull for my friend! Haven't been around puppies for many years. Any advice or questions I should remember to ask her owner?", "post": "Hello! Due to unfortunate circumstances for my friend, she feels it would be best for her dog not to be with her in her place right now as she's getting ready to move out and there's a bunch of drama with her roommates (who do not like her little Nova at all). So she's staying with me for 15-20 days.\n\nNova is a four month old female pitbull, who is just a little darling. Very polite for a puppy. She took her to the vet yesterday and they said she has puppy vagitius, but reccomended not putting her on antibiotics until after she gets spayed. Besides that, she's healthy and has all her shots up to date. \n\nI've remembered to ask her about how she sleeps (which is in a crate), how she is with other dogs (which is playful and curious), and how much she's eating (a scoop in the morning and one in the evening). Oh, I also asked her about potty training (she's good a will whine at a door to go, she has an accident occasionally but she's good at giving you a sign she wants to go). \n\nAre there any other questions I should be asking her? Do I have all my bases covered? I figured since she's a puppy I could do a nice long walk and playtime before bed in the evening.", "summary": "puppysitting 4m/o female pitbull, haven't been around puppies in forever. Any tips? Anything I should make sure to ask the owners?"} {"id": "t3_1np6x6", "subreddit": "running", "title": "I broke 23 minutes for a 5k on my HS XC team!", "post": "I'm a sophomore and this is my first year running cross country so I'm pretty out of shape. In fact, there's freshman runners on my team who are faster/better, but that doesn't matter I suppose. My first 5k time was 23:30 and I felt like I wasn't getting better at all considering I got worse on a meet called Garret Mountain in NJ (My time was 23:57) :(\n\nI told my friend that I was going to go under 23 minutes this race and I did it. About 200 meters before the finish line someone who obviously seemed to want to pass me ran up to me and passed me slowly. I thought to myself that I would let it happen considering how tired I was. My teammates cheered me on and it's probably thanks to them that I ran as fast as I could and past him, getting a time of 22:59.", "summary": "been stuck on 23 for too long but then i gave a kid the kick kick giddyup and had 1 second to spare"} {"id": "t3_100gqm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What should I do?", "post": "(24) My best friend (Phil) of 12 years and I know this gorgeous girl (Bailey) who we have both been interested in for the past couple of years on and off. Recently it just so happened that we both are interested at the same time. He is the kind of person that will push you out of the way just so that he can stand/sit next to her. She has been throwing me signals and stuff but she also seems to do it to him also. He has always had girls chasing after him and I don't really get girls lusting towards me all the time like he does. So I am tempted to pursue a committed relationship with Bailey but I am afraid that Phil would be irrational and just stop the friendship right then and there. So reddit what do you recommend I should do?", "summary": "Me and a best friend are interested in the same girl and I don't want to ruin the relationship by asking her out."} {"id": "t3_3d2jbl", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Grade 12, last year of high school anxiety", "post": "I currently attend high school at Ontario, Canada and I just finished my grade 11 year. There were a whole lot of things I could've improved on, especially procrastination that led me to lower marks which I totally blame myself for. \n\nBut I'm entering grade 12 now and I feel like I bit off more than I could chew. I'm planning to go to a science related course, so the courses I'm taking are the two maths (advanced functions & calculus) and the three sciences (physics, chemistry, biology). As for English, I'm currently taking it in summer school.\n\nSo I'm asking what I should do to make sure I get my marks up. I know that the marks I got in grade 11 are definitely not high enough to get into a good university, and I'm not sure if I could even make it to college (my average was around 75). But for now, I know that I need to stop procrastinating, understand concepts instead of just memorizing and make sure I get a good teacher. Is there anything else that I should look out for or change my habits, etc ?", "summary": "I'm getting into grade 12, last year before university and I did terrible in grade 11. I really need to know how to bring up my marks, other than stop procrastinating or understanding concepts instead of memorizing."} {"id": "t3_23s2g7", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by making a short NSFW video in my landlord's kitchen.", "post": "School is almost over . . . So very close to freedom. I should be studying, that would be the responsible thing to do seeing as I have an exam tomorrow morning at 8:30, but . . . \n\nNaturally, I decide to make a short \"sexy video\" for my boyfriend who I won't be seeing for a week (only a week, I know). My landlord is out of the country for 2 weeks, my roommates have class until 3:30 and the only one who will know my shame is the poor dog, who is now currently laying on the couch with her big brown eyes looking at me, saying \"you dun fucked up.\"\n\nSo I decide to do a few takes of this recording where I pull my yoga pants down and then pull them back up slowly, thus accentuating my ass.\n\nI'm on take 3, playing around with how low I should pull my pants, when suddenly my landlord's granddaughter (age 5) comes running through the front door (the house is open-concept, so you can see the kitchen if you take even two steps into the house). I fumble while pulling up my pants, but I'm too slow. The young girl is scarred for life.\n\nShe yells \"look Mommy, a bum!!\" but by then I have my pants pulled up. I think quickly, and say to the Mom when she comes in: \"Oh, sorry, I was watching a music video and couldn't close YouTube in time! It has an explicit scene or two.\"\n\nThankfully she laughed it off, but I fear her daughter will be traumatized.", "summary": "assumed I'd be home alone all day, made a video which included my bare ass exposed, landlord's granddaughter ran in the house and caught me."} {"id": "t3_4oacsc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24/F] with my 10 mo. SO [25/M] - a small lie in the bigger picture.", "post": "Hello Reddit!\n\nMy SO and I have been in a relationship for 10 months now, 7 of which were long distance. Aside from a few bumps, it's been healthy and happy.\n\nWe are both insecure people, and we are open with each other about it. I openly admit I am an anxious partner that does not easily trust.\n\nFor the majority of the relationship, he is (for lack of better phrasing) the more \"involved\" partner. He is more expressive about his commitment to \"us\" and is usually the first to call or text. This is our rhythm, and it works well for both of us.\n\nFor two weeks, he's been in France. I was invited on the trip, but couldn't since I started a new job. Since I'm not there, he's used this trip as a personal development trip - studying the architecture, a field he's very, very passionate and involved in.\n\n--THE SMALL LIE?--\nThis whole time he's been gone, I've been insecure. I told him about it once and have not brought it up again. He took it well.\nLast night, we talked on the phone, and he told me he'd call me today.\nThis morning, he messaged me, saying he could no longer call me since he \"doesn't have wifi in his airbnb anymore\" and that he'd call me at the airport the next day.\n\nOK! That's all fine. It made sense -- he was going to talk to the landlord about the wifi, because it seemed hacked. I was not phased.\n\nHowever - when I logged onto my Facebook after work (5PM; the time he would have called - which is very late at night in EUR's timezone), he was online!!\n\nLying is one thing I really, truly can't stand in a partner. Even those little white lies. I believe small lies lead to bigger and bigger lies. \nI wish he'd have just told me he was exhausted and needed to pack, and would call at the airport. Why lie!\n\nIs this worth feeling weird about? IS it worth bringing up?", "summary": "boyfriend told a small white lie - might be overreacting, or is this the key to the pandora's box? thank you."} {"id": "t3_hl5kp", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Losing the woman I love and don't know what to do.... :(", "post": "So.... I dated this girl for over a year. We were great together. Happy. Everything we did together was awesome. We worked well together and got along great. We, however, went to different schools and were 4 hours apart. We ended up breaking up twice over 2 years because of the distance. She always told me how she couldn't live without me and how she always saw it as \"our\" future together and never just hers. I always felt the same way. We've tried being friends since the last break up but she recently met and visited this guy she met online from England. She didn't know him that long yet was willing to go visit him and is apparently in love with him. How it happened so soon I don't know..... I'm still really in love with her and don't understand how she can love this guy(who's 7 years older than her) while he's so far away and yet couldn't do a distance relationship with me. She still tells me she wants to be friends and actually still has feelings for me and is attracted to me, but she doesn't want to show them cause they will be \"confusing and make things harder.\" I've tried everything to get over her and move on.... dating other girls, just hooking up, trying not to talk to her. Everything makes me think of her and makes me miss her and the good times I know we can have together. Please..... help? :( I'm also not a bad guy. I'm really nice and I definitely look better than this other guy she suddenly fell in love with.", "summary": "Love of my life who wanted to be with me, left me cause of distance and is now in love with a guy halfway across the world. Still says she has feelings for me but doesn't want to show me."} {"id": "t3_406ili", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21/M] have some massive jealousy issues and it might be killing my otherwise perfect relationship with [20/F]", "post": "Hey people,\n\nI need some serious advice here. So I got into a relationship with a girl I've known for years. We both always had a crush on each other but only get together 6 months ago. The relationship is amazing, much better then my previous ones. I am really happy with her and can imagine a long future!\n\nThe only thing that really kills is my irrational jealousy. And it's really getting out of hand... She is not doing anything wrong at all but every time she talks about some other guy she likes, or some collegues from work it really kills me inside. I can't stop thinking stuff like 'what if she meets someone that fits her better then me' or 'what if she drinks to much and kisses another guy on a party'. \nI totally know for myself that these thoughts are not justified at all. Especially since she is a very honest person and I know that she would instantly tell me if something happens. But this doesn't help me from not thinking about this stuff. The worst thing about it is, that it often times really kills my mood and I can't enjoy the time with her because of it.\n\nI have not talked to her about it and I prefer not to do so in the future. I know that this is a personal issue and I want to fix it by myself. I don't think there is anything she could do to better it.\n\nMaybe some have gone through similar and can give me some advice? I've talked about it with some friends and they all told me, that it gets better with the time. But I don't see any improvements in the last months...\n\nThanks a lot! Cheers", "summary": "I have some irrational jealousy issues and it might be killing my relationship. Everytime she tells me about some other guys It really hurts inside, even though I know how ridiculous it is."} {"id": "t3_soqym", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's The Best Way To Troll Back?", "post": "A little background info\n\nSo this past Saturday my ex started texting me, it started civil and we started making small talk about a guy that I had met that night that had done military training in the same session as my ex over the summer. Now the training facility is quite large and my ex said that he didn't know him and we started talking about other things.\n\nRight after I left my friend's house a random number started texting me saying it was this guy that I met. He was talking about how sex the other night was sooo great and said I was drunkenly talking about my military ex and that we should hook up again tonight.It got pretty creepy fast. I mention that I had boyfriend, and he drops it. Right after this my ex started fighting with me for no apparent reason.\n\nFast forward to today, I mention to my friend how creepy this guy is. He says that it sounds very out of character for this guy,and asks for the number that I got to see if it was actually him. It wasn't. My friend calls the number and on his voice mail it's one of my ex's friends. \n\nWhat's the best way to troll him back without him knowing I know?", "summary": "My ex trolled me using a friend's phone after I asked him if he knew a friend through the military. What's the best way to troll him back?"} {"id": "t3_3cwh9l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Why do I [20 M] still miss with my ex [20 F], 2 months after breaking up with her, knowing that I didn\u00b4t love her?", "post": "I broke up with my ex 2 months ago, as we were constantly fighting, for feeling I wasn\u00b4t good enough for her, for starting to feel I didn\u00b4t want her anymore. Even our sex life was affected in the final moments of our relationship, due to the lack of attraction I, by that time, had for her.\n\nTwo months have passed, and I\u00b4m doing good things for me, I\u00b4ve created good memories, I\u00b4ve been working on loving myself, on not being dependent on anyone else but me, my self confidence is better than ever and still improving. I feel like I can change any aspect I consider to be negative about me, through motivation and work.\n\nI have great memories with her though. I guess that is the difficult thing about having break up with her, because every time I remember what It used to be when we were together, only beautiful memories pop up in my mind:\n\n- Her house, under the sun;\n- Her beautiful family;\n- Her funny little brother;\n- Our laughs and crazy stuff we did together..\n\nHow can I miss so much someone I didn\u00b4t love for sure?\nI don\u00b4t want to be friends with her though, It would surely hurt me a lot.", "summary": "I broke up with my ex knowing I didn\u00b4t love her, but after 2 months without talking to her, I miss her and still get bothered when I know she\u00b4s probably having fun with other guys and stuff like that."} {"id": "t3_kf49i", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I am a 22 year old male taking 3 different psych meds for different things. can someone give me some wisdom and strength? I feel I could use some help.", "post": "MY STORY- I have been battling with psychological problems for 4 years now and, though the problems have been getting less and less problematic, i am still burdened with the prescriptions that i take. I take DEPAKOTE RISPERDAL and was recently prescribed CELEXA. Reasoning behind it was the psychotic episode I had during my stressful senior year. (With SATs and an unplanned pregnancy scare and college applications) making my first prescription Risperdal. 3 years with minimal psychotic behavior, on and off risperdal, gaining and losing weight... I didn't feel 100% psychologically stable like ever... Then I had a trip to an inpatient facility because i smoked weed, which i think was the reason i had to go. That was when they prescribed me Depakote. I went a good 8 months with Risperdal and Depakote while they were trying to reduce it before I smoked weed again and went back to the nut house. i was very violent and impulsively breaking things. (this time i checked myself in). Someone just happened to think to prescribe me Celexa and it is like a miracle, I feel like a normal person agian. It's been about a month and a half now and i'm just trying to get off of Risperdal and Depakote. I did just get a job and with Celexa kicking in I have been very productive all around.", "summary": "Was prescribed Celexa, Risperdal and Depakote over a 4 year period because of stress and a little marijuana use."} {"id": "t3_3d0dhm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19M] kissed a girl [18F ]while on vacation in Europe, turns out she has a boyfriend", "post": "I'm currently on vacation at the beach in Europe with my parents. Now, the beach is fun and all, but being here with just my parents is not the most fun time. So I did some cold approaches to try to find a girl that speaks English and i found one that speaks the language decently.\n\nI asked her out that night and we walked around, talked a lot, and I made sure to physically escalate throughout the night. We laughed and had a really good time, and I even got a kiss at the end of the night. Asked her out again and got another kiss at the end of that night.\n\nOne problem, though; she has a boyfriend. The second night I asked her for a kiss and she seemed iffy about it at first but leaned in for the kiss anyways. I make sure to hold hands with her when we walk and she doesn't reject my physical advances, but she also doesn't reciprocate when I put my arm around her, etc. It seems like she is interested but doesn't want to do anything because of her boyfriend. Yet she keeps in contact with me all day and wants to go out every night. I don't want to force her to anything she doesn't want to do, but I just can't figure out exactly what she wants (she's very shy, especially when speaking another language, but she's starting to open up more)\n\nI'm not looking for sex (also not against it), just maybe making out and having some fun when we go out at night. Is there anything I can do to make her feel more comfortable? Should I straight up ask her if she wants to make out? I just can't seem to figure out exactly what she wants.\n\nAlso, neither of us are from the country. And her boyfriend is currently back in her home country. I'll be here for five more days and we'll probably go out for most of those nights.", "summary": "Met a girl while on vacation and we went out a couple nights. Kissed both nights, but I don't know if she wants more. How do I figure out if she is genuinely interested?"} {"id": "t3_258561", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21/M) want to be something more with my best friend (20/F)", "post": "She and I have been best friends for a while. We are really comfortable with each other, we are very close, and we trust each other a lot. The other night, she and I shared our first kiss. It wasn't weird or anything, in fact, it felt really good. We talked about it yesterday and we discussed what we wanted to do about it. I am leaving at the end of the summer to transfer to a different university. In our talk we said that it's already going to be hard for me to leave and it would make things harder if we added this other level of intimacy. So we talked about just remaining best friends.\n\nI felt good about this, despite the fact that I think I have feelings for her. But last night, after thinking more about it, I am worried that I will end up regretting it once I leave. I don't want to get to that point where I have to think, \"What if?\" I think she and I could make things work if we tried....and I think if it didn't work and it started getting weird or whatever, we trust each other enough that we could be open and talk about it.\n\nOne of our favorite songs is \"Say\" by John Mayer and I just can't help but think that I need to tell her that, although I agree with what we had previously talked about (about just remaining friends), I just keep worrying about that \"what if\" part.\n\nWhat should I do? Should I tell her or just keep it in? How should I go about approaching this topic with her?", "summary": "My best friend and I kissed, decided to remain friends, but I kind of want something more. Should I tell her or not?"} {"id": "t3_iip9l", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Immigrants of Reddit: Do you feel closer to your original country or your destination country?", "post": "So, I have been recently having some serious identity issues. I was born in Pakistan but moved when I was one and lived about 1/2 my life in America and 1/2 my life in Canada (where I currently live). \nI love Canada to death - to me, it a great nation, great people and undoubtedly, this nation is my home. I feel incredibly safe here. \nBut, a lot of the time, I feel like an outsider looking in. When I talk to other Canadians, usually the first question they ask is where are you from. I answer with Canada. And there is usually some followup like where are your parents from or where were you born. I answer honestly and tell them Pakistan but I don't understand their need to ask and their need to know. I mean, just have a conversation with me and you will know within the first five minutes where I was born. I feel like white people are seen as 'real Canadians' and everyone else (including Aboriginals) are seen as 'immigrant Canadians'. I have no problem being an immigrant - my parents wanted a better life for their kids and I am extremely grateful they decided to move. \nBut something else is that all these other Pakistani immigrants I am around make me feel bad and ashamed for not caring about Pakistan. I know the language and the culture but I mean, I don't give a crap about the human rights issues there, the political issues, etc. For me, Canadian issues - like senate reform and how to reconcile properly with the Aboriginal population - are much more important to me. But someone younger than me said, 'I hope my children don't grow up to be like you and forget their roots.' \nThat stung. But I am Canadian. Fuck being Pakistani-Canadian. Why can't I just be Canadian?", "summary": "Live in Canada but don't feel Canadian. Is this normal? Am I over reacting? Am I thinking too much?"} {"id": "t3_31aket", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] broke up with my fianc\u00e9 [23 F] 3.5 years, not sure if it's amicable or not.", "post": "Yesterday I ended my relationship. I'd been thinking about it for a while, but it came to the point where I had to choose between what was *easy* and what was *right*. My heart was pounding in my chest when I was going to do it, and I cried when I left, but I feel like we both handled it very well.\n\nShe texted me this morning to say that she thinks its the best thing to do on reflection. I know that doesn't make it OK, but I'd rather break up on these decent terms than the relationship have gotten to a point where we hated each other.\n\nThat's the hardest thing. I do love her, I just had to end the relationship because I didn't want the future we were heading towards, and you only live once (sorry for the clich\u00e9).\n\nMy issue is that I feel like she's upset, but she's OK with it, but then again I think she is trying to stay strong because she thinks it's right. I just didn't expect this. \n\nI want this to be an amicable breakup. and there was no outside influence, I'm not seeing somebody else or anything, I just wanted it to end. I feel awful. Sorry, had to get this off my chest. Is it normal to feel like things are OK, or is even this breakup doomed to mean that we have a really sour relationship afterwards?\n\nWe're meeting up in the next few days to talk about sorting out the house (we rented together for 20 months).\n\nI'm feeling confident, and I'm a roller coaster ride of emotions right now. Relief, panic (about what I'm gonna do), and sadness being the main ones. I'm usually very calculated and prepared, but this went out of the window yesterday. Any advice would be great.", "summary": "She was shocked, then seemed to accept it. Was very adult when I was expecting a really messy situation. Worried that we're gonna hate each other despite it seeming amicable. Have a joint life to dismantle."} {"id": "t3_1jwxya", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My engaged Ex[18F] decided to email me the other day and I[19M] don't know how to respond.", "post": "Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.\n\n So my ex and I broke up(mutually) after about 5 months of dating. \nWe decided to break up because she was going away for the summer to her country and she had told me of a possibility of her getting married/engaged. \nI being an 19 year old male felt I wouldn't be a emotionally mature for something like that and she agreed. It was awkward at first because I still liked her.\n Anyways after she left, we kept up contact for a little while but because I still liked her on a whim I chose to initiate the no-contact rule which the internet says is the only way to get your ex back (and begin self-improvement during no-contact)\n So I sent her an email about two months ago saying that, I no longer could talk to her, I told her I still had strong feelings for her and the only way I could begin moving on is if we no longer spoke. (I'm paraphrasing) \nShe responded to the email saying that she was gonna wait to tell me but that she was getting engaged in two weeks (that was about a month and a half ago) her being so young I asked if it was something she wanted, she responded that she did, and that was the end of it. \n Until yesterday, She emailed me saying that if I wanted to I could talk to her she just couldn't add me on Facebook because of her family. \nShe's Arabian if that puts things in perspective, sorry I didn't mention that earlier.\nI do want to talk to her and I do still like her but it's very strange to email me out of the blue just to tell me I could talk to her also if she is engaged (I put an \"if\" here because there is a huge possibility she is engaged but also a chance she is not, I'll elaborate more if needed) I would feel wrong talking to her because I know I wouldn't want my girl talking to some guy that still had feelings for her. Yeah, I'm that type of guy, sorry.", "summary": "My Arabian possibly engaged ex girlfriend decided to randomly email me saying I could talk to her if I wanted to. I do still have feelings for her but if she is engaged I wouldn't want to upset her fiance by talking to her."} {"id": "t3_l1atb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "We, the Internet, have a voice. Let it be organized, so it can then be heard.", "post": "There has been lots of chatter here, and on the net, about Occupy Wall Street (OWS for short), which is **fantastic**. But, a common thread that I'm noticing lately, especially in the Media, is that there doesn't seem to be a coherent message coming from OWS... and that really concerns me. This kind of thing (mass movement) hasn't happened in the USA since the Viet Nam days, and as a country, we really need OWS to truly make a difference. But to do so, it needs a coherent set of messages. And it needs to do so **NOW**, before it just turns to noise. This is too important an opportunity to let pass into obscurity.\n \n\nSince OWS represents a real democracy trying to take action, I have a thought/question. Since the web is abuzz with OWS, and since the web is searchable and *quantifiable*, there should be a way to analyze the common themes/threads/ideas that surround what people are saying about OWS, and, of course, what they themselves have been saying. What should happen as a result of this analysis, then, is a top-level set of themes and ideas from which OWS, and it's bretheren, can rally behind. **We, the Internet, have a voice. Let it be organized, so it can then be heard.**\n \n\nDo any Redditors have the I.T. savvy to mash together some sort of aggregation and analysis engine and present it in a coherent way? How can we leverage things like Google Analytics, Google Blog search, WebTrends, et. al? Once this is done, we can spread the word about it as only Redditors can. We all want to do something... this is one way that we can really make a difference. *By focused, and inherently democratic, communication of our intent.", "summary": "Occupy Wall Street needs some Internet/I.T. savvy to aggregate the public sentiment into a coherent list of Top Priorities and Goals before it all becomes noise."} {"id": "t3_21pbpg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "We, [22 F] and [23 M/F] having know each other for one week, want to know how fast is TOO fast? Especially for an online (reddit) relationship.", "post": "*", "summary": "We met on reddit and have only known each other for a week. We want to make sure we're not doing anything crazy here, so..."} {"id": "t3_3l56gm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [27 F] boyfriend [36 M] of 1.5 years has herpes. He knew, and didn't tell me.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1.5 years. We've talked about kids, marriage, everything and it seemed like we were totally in sync about every aspect. I thought he was the one. We moved in together and have been living together for a year, and just renewed the lease for another. Great? Great!\n\nUntil.. SURPRISE! I found out he has herpes, and has had herpes for years. He left a piece of paper from his doctor laying around and I happened to come across it. He says he didn't tell me because he never had an outbreak after the first one. Another excuse was \"How do you tell somebody that? It's not something you just blurt out.\"\n\nAwesome. Thanks. \n\nI tried to get tested, but the clinic said they try to discourage the blood test if I'm asymptomatic, which I am. He apologized. Said he should have told me. And he said he would have brought it up if/when he had an outbreak. Blindsided. Totally blindsided. We had lots of unprotected sex. He didn't like using condoms. And he did not take Valtrex. \n\nHe didn't respect me enough to tell me. He took away my choice. \n\nI haven't broken up with him, but I feel like I need to. I love him. And I need an outside opinion. I can't go to friends/family with this. I'm a total mess. \n\nHelp me, reddit.", "summary": "Boyfriend had herpes, I found out after 1.5 years of *mostly* unprotected sex. What do I do now?"} {"id": "t3_4i3h50", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24M] have developed a crush on my [39F] coworker, unsure of what to do", "post": "I work as a supervisor for a residential division of a cleaning company. One of the other supervisors, we'll call her Ellie, is the woman in question. While I have always had a vague attraction to her, in the past few weeks I have really felt it intensifying. Right now I'm finding myself at a loss on what to do.\n\nThe biggest barrier first off would be that Ellie is currently in a relationship. Though they have had some problems and recently split, they have gotten back together and are trying to work things out. The age difference is also kind of problematic, as I am slightly uncomfortable with it, and I think it would be really bothersome for her. She also has two older kids (youngest is 12).\n\nEllie was at one time involved with another person in the company that has given her some grief. Though they split up I've heard that he has tried to get back together with her. While it has never caused trouble professionally, it has given her some personal grief trying to deal with it. I feel like this would make her wary of getting involved with someone at work again. There is also the matter that she is our department head, so while we're all pretty informal and fairly equal, she is technically my boss.\n\nTo top it all off I can't say I'm a believer that she would reciprocate my feelings even if a lot of these other issues weren't present. Any advice on how to proceed would be appreciated. I've had a few people tell me I should just wait and see. Another told me I should just talk to her about it to get it off my chest and to be able to move on, though this worries me because I would hate to ruin the good relationship we have now.", "summary": "I've gotten a crush on my coworker Ellie. There are several potential problems (such as age, work, etc.) that might prevent a relationship from being possible."} {"id": "t3_1inulb", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Anyone have any experience with corneal ulcers in dogs?", "post": "One of our Boston Terrier's has one on his eye. He's had four trips to the vet over three and a half weeks, he's had three different eye drops, and an anti-inflammatory. This morning he had his eye scraped. The good news is that she says it's not a particularly deep one - which is clearly apparent when she puts the stain in his eye. I've got high hopes that the scraping will help, but so far it isn't healing. He had one a year or two ago and it cleared right up with one $20 prescription, but we're $400 into this one with another visit coming up on Monday and a potential recommendation to see a specialist who wants to do $275 worth of tests before they'll talk to us further. He's only 9, so I'd like to save his eye but if we have to move to a specialist we'll be at about $700 plus whatever course of treatment they recommend.\n\nIs that normal? I've done some digging around Google and am I'm hoping the scraping will be the thing that finally leads to some actual healing - the vet said a sort of corneal flap came off when she swabbed it and that might have been inhibiting the healing process, but I was wondering if anyone here had any experience?\n\nThanks in advance!", "summary": "dog has a stubborn corneal ulcer... do I need to get a second opinion, is it normal for them to have a hard time healing."} {"id": "t3_4qtb1e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [33 M] with my wife[34M/F], hit her too hard and broke her floating rib, what can I do to make up for it", "post": "Background: I met my wife when we were 6 years old at her family's kwoon. Our grandparents thought it would be good for us to train together as our styles were complementary. We started dating Summer 1997, when we were 14/15, married in 2007. We have 2 kids together. Every morning we train together and 3 times a week we have a regular spar.\n\nIncident: My wife pressured me into a corner, with sun in my eyes and the door on my back. I thought that I can use a half-step punch to get away. It was something she could have dodged easily-I was expecting that she would dodge and get a hit in but it was better than my previous position which the lunging part would save me from-. Unfortunately our son called for her at the moment of strike and she was distracted, moved to the door and got hit. I tried mitigating it but you don't simply mitigate that. As a result she got a glancing blow near her left abdomen and crumbled.\n\nAftermath: Took her to hospital, got her treated. She says that these things happen and that she's just embarrassed about getting hit by a telegraph punch but I feel horrible about it. More so because it feels like a cheap blow. I can also feel that her self-esteem got a huge blow as she's prone to think that she's \"immune\" to certain level of strikes-quite rightly so-. She says she's okay but I can tell she's actually sad and disappointed with herself.\n\nQuestion: What can I do to make her feel better?", "summary": "Hit my wife accidently too hard, broke her floating rib, she says it's okay but I want to do something for her and cheer her up."} {"id": "t3_4uexdh", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "(UK) Student looking to save/invest for the future?", "post": "Hi guys, so I'll give you a run down of my life and then finish off with a question.\n\nSo as of right now I am in an incredibly fortunate position and I almost feel bad posting this as I see a lot of other people in really bad situations but I'm sure someone will be in the same position as me.\n\nI am 18 years old, I live with my parents, I work a part time job (full time in summer) and I have next to no expenses. I don't pay rent, I don't pay for my food. \nLiterally all my expenses are:\n1. Petrol for my car (Shared with other siblings).\n2. Nights out with friends.\n3. Small purchases (Snacks or drinks)\n\nI live in Scotland so all of my education is completely covered.\n\nI work as a waiter at a fast paced restaurant so I make a hell of a lot just from tips as well as my wage. I'm earning as of right now anywhere from \u00a3150-300 a week. I have \u00a31500 in my bank account right now.\n\nSo I am in a very fortunate position right now and I am saving 90% of my wage. The question I have for all you guys is what can I actively do to ensure I am making the most of the position I am in? I love the idea of investing however I am not prepared to throw my money at one company and hope for the best.\n\nHopefully there is somebody out there who has had a similar situation as the one I am in and could give me some ideas.", "summary": "18 Years old, \u00a3150-300 a week, little to no expenses. How do I make the most of my money?"} {"id": "t3_3v82h5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend(23M)'s father does not have long to live. How can I help?(22F)", "post": "Okay. Hi. Throwaway account because my boyfriend is on reddit.\n\nSo, my boyfriend(lets call him Billy) and I have been together for three years, and we have a very very close relationship. \nBilly is not close with his father. His dad has never been there for him, emotionally or otherwise, so they are not close and Billy has a lot of resentment, and my boyfriend has never come to terms with not having a present father. (But his dad is around a lot and we see each other fairly often)\n\nAnyways, Billy's dad was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness, and will not be with us for much longer. Billy has not expressed any sadness, nor does he like to talk about it much. I am afraid that he isn't dealing with his emotions and will not be ready when his dad finally passes. I tried to ask Billy if he thought about how he would feel when his dad died, he said he hasn't.\n\n What can I do to help him? Or what could I expect in the future? I'm worried that his lack of dealing with this now is going to explode later and be very painful. I also do not want him to pull away from me.\n\nWe have had a hard year, and can't seem to catch a break. What are some useful things I could do to help him cope not only with his father's passing, but also the pain that comes with never having a \"real dad\" (which already causes him a lot of pain)?", "summary": "BF's (somewhat estranged) dad has a terminal illness and will die soon, how can I help him to open up about his feelings/cope?"} {"id": "t3_3lwm6d", "subreddit": "AskDocs", "title": "What kind of doctor do you see when all other doctors can't come up with a diagnosis?", "post": "I'm in a unique situation, but I'll try to keep it brief. Male, mid 20's, and I've been sick and unable to work for two years now. I had a great career/life/family/friends beforehand, took care of my body, was generally healthy.\n\nThen I got sick. I've seen countless doctors, had dozens and dozens of blood and urine tests, MRI's, cat scans, but NO ONE can give me a clear diagnosis, and I'm coming to the end of my rope unfortunately. I've tried antibiotics, psych meds, antivirals, bullshit herbs, you name it. I don't know how much more I can take. \n\n***So far in the past 2+ years I've seen:***\n\n**2 neurologists** (1 claimed I had psych issues, other said I was healthy)\n\n**3 psychiatrists** (all three gave up on me after I said no more meds. I had tried over 30 different psych meds and nothing helped long term, only symptom relief with benzos - not a good long term strategy, so I said enough is enough)\n\n**3 therapists** (1 tried EMDR - made me more depressed, said CBT wouldn't be my thing. Other 2 couldn't help after 10 sessions. No emotionally scarring events in my childhood or anything)\n\n**2 internal med docs** (couldn't find anything)\n\n**1 Infectious Disease doc** (couldn't find anything)\n\n**1 Lyme Disease doctor** (only one to give a firm diagnosis of 'chronic lyme'. 8 months of treatment only made me terribly worse, so I'm convinced it's not Lyme)\n\n...and probably a few more that I can't remember now. The MOST I'll get is \"maybe its [very hard to diagnosis illness], or something like [even harder to diagnosis illness], but there's no way to tell, nothing we can do\"\n\nWHAT DO I DO, I'M GOING CRAZY!", "summary": "sick over 2 years, who do I see when all other doctors have failed to cure (or even diagnose) me?"} {"id": "t3_19kiju", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[M19] [F19] I'm starting to think the only way I can get her to stop smoking is if I start smoking.", "post": "I know it sounds ridiculous at first, just hear me out.\n\nWe've been dating almost a year now. In every other way this girl is my perfect match. Everything about her from the way she smiles to the way she rubs my back at night makes her amazing. I don't have a problem with other people smoking, you guys smoke? That's fine, but I will NOT have the woman I marry, the woman I have children with, the woman I spend my life with be an addict to that crap.\n\nSo far, I've asked her three times to stop. Each time I try to bring it up with her she just shrugs it off like, \"do you really want to have this argument right now?\". It's become too much for me though. I don't even know anymore whether its the smelling/tasting like smoke and harmfulness of cigarettes, or if it just really pisses me off that she won't listen to my pleas, but either way I want it to stop.\n\nI also have an extremely hard time understanding it. As I said, I don't have a problem with tobacco. I've smoked cigarettes, cigars, hookah, but its always been a once in a while kinda thing. I've never had the trouble of becoming addicted. Maybe it's just my personality but its just really hard for me to understand how someone could get addicted to that stuff.\n\nI know this all seems childish, but at this point what are my other options? Maybe, if I start smoking, once she realizes how much it sucks to kiss/sleep with/just be around someone who constantly smells like smoke, she'll see how it makes me feel. \n\nWe've had plenty of problems before, but this is by far the only long-standing, unresolved issue in our relationship. I hope someone has some advice. Thanks for reading.", "summary": "SO won't quit smoking, it's the only big problem in our relationship, I'm starting to think that my only option is to start smoking and make her see how I feel."} {"id": "t3_4xmc4j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [22f] being unfair when my boyfriend [24m] is unsure if he wants me to move to school with him next year?", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 9 months. I am graduating this upcoming December with my Bachelors degree, and he is already graduated with a degree and now has a full time job. \n\nHe has plans to attend graduate school next fall for 2.5 years to get his dream job that he has worked really hard thus far for. During his undergraduate he had a few minor relationships (5 months or less) and otherwise non-committal flings because he wanted to remain focused on school and his full time job. \n\nI realize school is very important, but so is a long term relationship. So, at about our 4 month mark together, I asked him if I was going to be apart of his plan on going to grad school or if our relationship was just something he was planning on phasing out by the time grad school came around. I figured 4 months is the time that things start to get serious or we could each go our separate ways without too much damage. \n\nFast forward to now: He is applying to grad schools all over the country, everywhere from Michigan (where we are from) to Florida and North Dakota. It is starting to seem very real to me even though he hasn't even been accepted yet. I asked him again today if he wanted me to move with him to school...He said \"I'm just not sure where we are going to be a year from now, so I am not sure.\" Now I understand that is a fair way to phrase that, but it just kindof hurt that he wasn't immediately like \"Of course I want you with me!\" Am I being unfair for wanting that sort of a response instead of a \"Mmmm maybe?\" When he does go to school, we will be dating for about a year and a half at that point. \n\nWe are in love, and very easy going people, we never really fight. I just don't want to waste time if he's just going to ditch me for his career some day.", "summary": "My boyfriend of 9 months is moving away to school in about a year and isn't sure if he wants me to go. Am I unfair for wanting a more committal response than that?"} {"id": "t3_1mqjjo", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I(m21) lost and unsure of how to go forward with staying in touch with ex (22f)", "post": "We split in April on mutual terms because we are at different points in life, I finished my undergrad and she has a year left so I want to start job hunting plus tried distance last year and it was not fun. We have kept in touch and visited eachother a few times since then. I've moved a good 2500 kms away for work at the beginning of august and find myself thinking about her daily. We've admitted to both missing each other and she has talked of visiting me, money is an issue. I want to see her and visit other friends, maybe move back after my current contract is over at end of October. \n\nWe had a few fights during the 14 mos we were dating but the last few months were great and aside from a few minor issues to work out I would get back together with her in an instant. I'm trying to let go a bit but am not sure if i really want to, nor am I sure if she still wants to be with me. So really what i';m hoping to get perspective on is a) how have others gotten over serious relationships in the past and b) can taking time apart and then getting back together work magic for relationships?", "summary": "Unsure how to get over ex while still being friends and admitting to missing eachother/ have people taken a few months and gotten back together with SO and noticed an imporvement in relationship?"} {"id": "t3_23amzn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27 F] got lead on by my [28 M] ex. How do I get over it?", "post": "I broke up with my ex a year ago for a long list of issues that don't matter in this point in time. We were living together and as soon as we broke up and he moved out, I felt it was best to completely sever all communication so it was easier for us both to move on.\n\nHe came by 2 weeks ago to pick up some of his things he left at my place and we took the time to talk about how we have been doing. We are both single and we were able to crack jokes, laugh, and smile on old times. A few hours went by of talking and eventually we went to say goodbye, both of us crying, and he hugged me tight, kissed my cheek and made a remark about wishing we could run away together. I was curious of the idea of resparking things and took his actions seriously. I figured he wanted the same thing.\n\nWhen he got home, he didn't contact me for a day. I figured I would check up on him and he talked to me like nothing even happened between us. I kept making remarks that we need to talk things through, but he told me just to forget it. I was the only one that cared and that felt we could try to be friends again. However apparently he got home, spoke to a female friend about it, and that female friend told him to not bother with me.\n\nI feel completely played and totally devastated. We had a fight about it, but it ended with him being very apologetic for leading me on. I told him since then to leave me alone (may not have been the right thing, but I'm so hurt) and I've severed all communication again. How do I get over this? I feel so hurt and I can't stop getting the itch to try to talk to him again.", "summary": "Ex came over to pick up things after a year and he lead me on to believe we could be something again. How the heck can I get over being so hurt?"} {"id": "t3_26fkmx", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[28/m] My co-worker (21/f - in an academic research group) and I share feelings for each other, not sure what to do. Help!", "post": "The set up:\nI'm 28, working as a staff researcher in academia and it has become increasingly clear that my co-worker (who is 21 and an undergraduate in our group) has strong feelings for me. I also have feelings for her, but have yet to say anything. \n\nThe pickle: \nI've searched through our university staff employee handbook and found nothing prohibiting this kind of relationship, but she also has a high school bf of 4 years. It's become apparent to her that she cannot see a future with this person and has told me this on a few occasions. \n\nShe'll be starting a graduate program at the same university next year, and I will most likely be moving on to attend graduate school at a different university around the same time. I haven't disclosed my feelings for her as of yet, and I'm unsure if I should say anything and somehow manage to work closely with her over the course of the year and remain professional\u2026or if I should just lay it on the line. Obviously I'm worried about my career if I make my intentions known, and it will definitely need to stay hush-hush with our PI/Supervisor if anything were to happen. If anyone has any similar experiences (hopefully within academia)..any advice is helpful. It has been eating at me.", "summary": "co-worker and I have feelings for each other. Not sure if I should tell her how I feel, or remain professional. Any advice is helpful."} {"id": "t3_4pkken", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21F] boyfriend [20M] doesn't take well to friendly suggestions sometimes", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for about three years and everything has been going great, but he sometimes doesn't take suggestions very well. I'll suggest a different way of doing laundry, for example, and he'll say that it was his idea and he was \"already doing that anyway.\" Sometimes, if he's feeling particularly stubborn that day, he'll just outright refuse and say nothing else.\n\nBecause of this, I often don't get a lot of insight on what he's thinking or why he wants to do things the way he's doing them, so I'm left to make educated guesses. If I guess wrong, he'll definitely be sure to tell me that I'm way off base but still won't actually tell me what he's thinking or feeling about the topic.\n\nGetting a new apartment, job searching, and finding a car have been a bit rocky because it seems almost like it's his way or the highway. This only happens if I suggest things first. If he brings an idea up and asks for my input, he's totally willing to listen and we can function well as a team. It's almost like he's embarassed that I beat him to the chase (argh, there I go making pesky inferences again).\n\nEverything else in our relationship is going wonderfully, it's just this that really ever sparks any animosity between us. What are some ways to suggest new ideas to someone who has a bit of a stubborn streak like this? Thanks for any suggestions!", "summary": "My boyfriend is stubborn and won't listen to suggestions I have unless he asks for them. How do I make friendly suggestions to a stubborn person?"} {"id": "t3_4vwwri", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Family: Me [27F] with my dad [63 M], he has a weird sense of humor and I have to keep deleting his comments on my Facebook. --- **tl;dr**: Mandatory summary/question!", "post": "My dad has a weird sense of humor. He gets on these kicks of long stretches of running with a joke or theme that was never funny to begin with. \n\nFor example, for an entire weekend he called me every fat joke imaginable because I have gained a few pounds. Keep in mind, even after gaining \"a lot\" of weight, I still only weigh 130 lbs. 5' 4\" tall so that's still on the pretty thin side of your average person. I just laughed it off and kept saying haha, very funny. Look at yourself, lol. \n\nRecently, he's gotten into this kick that my pets look like they are dead and stuffed and keeps leaving comments on my Facebook photos to that effect. Who does your taxidermy? Yep, they look pretty dead to me. Stuff like that. Now, I have three fur babies, so I post a lot of pictures of them. I keep deleting his comments because they are wierd and inappropriate. \n\nMy dad and I haven't always gotten along. We only see each other maybe once a month. Facebook is a main way of communicating for us. I don't want to block him from commenting or unfriend him because I want him to be able to use Facebook to communicate. How should I tell him that he can only comment on my Facebook if it's not offensive or inappropriate? How do I explain why his comments are not funny? He can be kind of immature (age is just a number) so I can see him saying something like, fine if you don't want me to talk to you I won't...", "summary": "my dad keeps commenting that my pets look dead and stuffed on my Facebook photos. How do I tell him that is not funny/weird/to stop? Without cutting him off or offending him?"} {"id": "t3_3r3wfu", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting it was halloween.", "post": "This happened this Halloween night at 11:30 pm. I was sitting at home watching tv when I heard knocking on my door. I went to look through the peephole to see who it was out there. I looked and saw two teenagers cloaked in all black. I said \"oh hell naw\". I quickly ran to my room and grabbed my .38 special and went through the balcony to go around them and hold them up. Next thing I know, I hear someone yelling from a vehicle. I look back and it's was their parents. I look at the kids and see them holding baskets absolutely terrified. Next thing I know I am convincing the parents not to call the cops because I thought I was going to be broken into. They were pretty cool and I gave them some protein bars since I did not have candy.", "summary": "Pulled my gun out on trick or treaters thinking they were trying to rob my house because I forgot it was Halloween."} {"id": "t3_4hwt32", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Shoplifted sushi from my school today. Got caught and embarrassed in front of my old crush.", "post": "I'll admit this was pretty idiotic of me. \nI still cannot, for the life of me, understand why I did it. I was in the school store and two of my friends were with me there. My first friend walks in grabs a pack of sushi and slyly leaves. My second and best friend takes one, puts it under his shirt and leaves. Now I'm not a thief, I ain't about that life... But I saw my friends walk outta there with expensive sushi for free and I was like \"...shit man I want some free sushi too\". But here's where I made a boneheaded mistake. \n\nI grabbed the sushi and just walked out without thinking. What i didn't realize was that the lady at the counter was just glaring at me on the way out. As a matter of fact, THE ENTIRE LINE OF STUDENTS WERE JUST STARING AT ME. Now normally, I just wouldn't care about any of those strangers who didn't know me, but then I realized the girl I used to have a crush on, and was actually pretty interested me, was standing right in front of me and looking back, I realized she must have just been staring too. **cringe**\nOf course I get my ass busted and embarrassed. I went back and no one forced me to, but I paid for the sushi. The lady was generous enough to not get me in any serious trouble, since she knows how embarrassing this was. My friends saw me get in trouble, and were laughing their ass off. Apparently I stole that sushi in the most obvious way and attracted way too much attention. \n\nSomeone threw out my sushi before I could even eat it too.", "summary": "Stole some sushi from my school, got caught and embarrassed in front of my friends and my old crush. Crime doesn't pay."} {"id": "t3_1gbbut", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Quitting a job when you are kind of scared of your boss...?", "post": "I'm working at some shitty country restaurant as the only employee. I've had some difficulties with the boss, things like how she said she was going to raise my wage two months ago and then I suddenly didn't have work for a month and she forgot to raise my wage, and there's simply the fact that she's the only person I have to work with and I hate her.\n\nBasically, I've been wanting to quit for a while but was waiting to get another job. Now I have a treeplanting opportunity. (I know how awful the job is, I've already done it. But there are many reasons I want to do it still.) So I am going to quit soon. But I am actually terrified of her getting mad at me. I am almost certain she will berate me or something. Also, is the two weeks notice thing simply some courtesy? I didn't sign a contract or anything, and I only work weekends. I feel bad for leaving, because it will highly inconvenience her. It's hard to hire people for a job in the country.\n\n**(", "summary": "Never mind my special snowflake details.) How do you quit when you are scared of your boss berating you for it?"} {"id": "t3_4jjib2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [29 M] want my GF [26 F] of 8 months to get in better shape.", "post": "Throwaway, but I am dating a girl whom I truly love. However, I lead a reasonably active lifestyle and make sacrifices with my diet to stay in shape.\n\nMy girlfriend does not. And I am noticing that I am becoming less enamored with her physical appearance - although, in her defense, she looked this way when we first met, and she never gave me the inclination she was into working out or healthy eating. \n\nThe last thing I want to do is hurt her, and I would never expect her to take up a completely different lifestyle than she is used to, but I would like to nudge her in that direction. First, am I an asshole to feel this way. Second, what, if anything, can I do to help?", "summary": "I fear my girlfriend's physical appearance and lack of exercise will continue to drive a wedge in our relationship. Am I an asshole for wanting her to look better? If not, how can I be a good boyfriend and resolve the issue?"} {"id": "t3_42df5e", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by hurting my mom's feelings.", "post": "This all happened accidentally, about 10 minutes ago after we finished dinner. My dad had asked how long I was up for last night. I said about 2:30am because my mom and I were downstairs. Myself on my pc and her watching tv. He made the joke \"a little mother-son bonding time, huh?\"\n\nNow here is where the FU happens. I don't like the idea, even jokingly, of having bonding time with them. It has and will never be a thing in our family. My dad just believes in \"tough love.\" Well, apparently, my feelings of disgust and awkwardness at the implication could be seen on my face. They looked at me angrily, asking why I looked that way. My mom got pissed, walked away and shook her head.\n\nIn my defense, my dad makes a lot of dirty jokes, including *that.* So it wasn't clear if this was an extremely dirty joke or not. Second, my mom has always screamed and yelled at me all my childhood, telling me I was a worthless retard, etc. She still does from time to time. (I'm around her less now) She flies off the handle **REALLY** easily, too. Who wants to be around someone like that?!", "summary": "Visually showed my disgust at the idea of having bonding time with my mother. Even given our negative relationship, still not sure if I should feel like an asshole or not."} {"id": "t3_36wnf1", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Banking Advice", "post": "Hey there, PF! \n\nBacground: \nI'm a 20 year old college student who has been banking with Bank of America for the last 5 years with an eBanking checking account (little to no fees as long as everything is done online) and a regular Savings account. I also have their BankAmericard Cash Rewards Platinum Plus Visa credit card. \n\nRecently, they've been getting rid of their eBanking checking accounts and converting them to Core checking accounts (many fees if you don't maintain a balance of ~$2,500). I am leaning towards closing my checking account with them and possibly moving to a credit union or Charles Schwab? I've heard good things on this sub for both options.\n\nMain Questions: \n1. Can I keep my savings account and credit card with BoA and just close my checking? \n2. What are the pros/cons of credit unions and Charles Schwab?", "summary": "I want to close my BoA checking account, but keep my savings and credit card with them. Is this possible? And, which is better: a credit union or Charles Schwab?"} {"id": "t3_4dyu11", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] not sure if I should pursue a [24F]", "post": "So I'm 24 and I'm talking to a woman who seems cool, we get on and share a lot in common. \nHowever she talks about how she gets bored in relationships easily and having her head turned also quite easily. \nNot cheating per se but lusts after other people I'm assuming. \nSo she seems cool, but these traits aren't exactly attractive and I feel like it's going to just lead to a world of pain if I try to go forward with this woman. \n\nI have two questions, one is to people who do/did get bored of relationships easily, how did you overcome that if you even managed to?\n\nThe other question is to people who have dealt with someone with these issues before. How did you deal with them, did you manage to overcome them and have a succesful relationship? or should I not even bother? \n\nThanks.", "summary": "Talking to a woman I like, she seems cool but admits to getting bored in relationships quickly and having her head turned. "} {"id": "t3_36wm7m", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Caste keeping Boyfriend(21M) and I (20F) apart...what should I do?", "post": "Hey guys...I posted this in R/India but didn't get much feedback...I need some advice from anyone who understand the tradition of the caste system and understand how important it is to traditional Indian parents. My boyfriend and I are punjabi, and my parents are strong believers of the caste system. His parents are a little more lenient. We have been together for 5 years and I don't see myself spending my life with anyone else. \nThe only problem is, and this is a HUGE issue, his family is one of the lowest caste in India (Chamaar/untouchables) while my caste is one of the higher castes. For my parents, marrying a Chamaar is out of the question.....even being friends with them. So I need to find an alternative way to make this work. And as many of you know, marriages don't happen without your parents. I am also not willing to elope with him because this will destroy my parents and family. The only crazy idea I could come up with is telling my parents he is an orphan and has no family; leaving his family out of the equation....but there are many holes to this idea because how long could we possibly hide this. I dont know if I am wasting our time and if I should break it off with him....I would hate to do that. But I need help....Any crazy suggestions can help!!", "summary": "My boyfriend and I want to get married but are from completely different caste systems. How can I deceive my parents into this? Should I break up with him? My boyfriend and parents are equally important to me."} {"id": "t3_yaymm", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Help me recover $2000 of my stolen property! My mannequin with a tuxedo and a gold watch was taken from my apartment around a year ago. Today a friend told me he went to a party and a guy admitted to him that he stole it but won't fess up now. Is there anything I can do? details inside", "post": "I have seen reddit help other people with stolen goods, I am looking for advice on what I can and can't do.\n\nI hosted a party last year and one of the kids (and his friend) drunkenly walked out with my mannequin that had a tuxedo, a watch, and a georgio armani tie on, in total he stole $2000 worth of goods. I am assuming they trashed it and kept the stolen items on it and I KNOW who did it. At the time I tried getting my university involved however the guys would not confess they did it. They also told me at the time \"If you call the cops we will tell them you were serving alcohol to minors\".\n\nToday the guy drunkenly told a friend of mine at another party that he stole the mannequin. I never filed a police report. My question is, can I still file a police report (happened last september)? Can the cops do anything if the guys won't admit it to them? Is there anything I can do to try and get my money back, can I sue them? Is it worth it?", "summary": "$2000 stolen from me last year, never filed a police report, culprits fessed up to another friend of mine, what can I do?"} {"id": "t3_24zqqx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do you keep your marriage together when the other half of it wants to give up? Me [27F] with my husband [28M]", "post": "I've always been told that a marriage can withstand things you can't even imagine, as long as you both don't give up at the same time. I'm trying so incredibly hard to not give up, but I don't know what else to do. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for almost 6. We have two beautiful children together, and he really is my best friend. We are so compatible with each other, and are completely content just being around each other. We've had our ups and downs, like all marriages, but I recently found out that the downs in his eyes are starting to outweigh the ups. I suffer from depression, and have our entire relationship. I think he feels partly responsible because his love for me isn't able to bring me out of it. He has been around depression his whole life, and doesn't want to enter the second half of his life feeling miserable. I honestly can't blame him. I know that it's hard to share your life with someone who hates herself as much as I do. He said that we've tried everything to make things better... and that maybe separating will be the key to saving our marriage. When I'm thinking rationally, I'm able to process the idea of a trial separation, knowing that we'll always end up back together. The love is there... I think that's what makes this so hard. I come from a family that believes in staying together no matter what, and he comes from a family that believes the total opposite.\n\nI'm just lost. I don't know if I should keep fighting it, and try to show him that this is a bad idea, or if I should give up and let him go. I'm trying to find the strength, but I'm going through an especially bad period right now emotionally so it's been tough. I feel kind of embarrassed posting this here... I'm just hoping to find some motivation and strength from someone who has been in a similar situation.", "summary": "Husband wants to do a \"trial\" separation after 6 years of marriage... don't know if I should give in or keep fighting."} {"id": "t3_2eglh4", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being drunk in a small town", "post": "Okey.. So.. This is my first tifu-post (please be gentle..) English is not my first language, so once again, be gentle. This tifu happened about 5 years ago. I had been working as a maniac on some tough shifts (I am a registered nurse) and all of a sudden I got a text about a birthday party. Sure! I needed to blow off some steam, so I went home, ran through the shower and brought my beloved whisky with me. This is where the tifu starts. I had not been eating all day at work. Aaaand kind of forgot to eat when I was at home too. \nSo I go to the party, enjoy my time. And after 1 glass, everything was black. \"Great time! Don't remember shit!\"\nI wake up, in my grandmother's house, in my coat, not remembering anything. I go downstairs, and I see my shoes in the hallway. Covered in puke. Yum yum\u2026 I call my friend who had been at that party, I was by that time raging because I couldn't figure who the hell had puked in my shoes. After hysterical laughs, she starts to talk. Apparently I was sitting in the backyard, sitting in a plastic boat, singing \"In the navy!\" waving with a cigar and my trusted (by then half-empty bottle) of whisky. I managed to deflate the damn boat by stabbing it with my cigar and then fun was over. So I staggered to the fence, over to one of the neighbours and screamed for the moose, God and Satan. Yes, I was puking my guts out, in the neighbours' backyard. I realized later that THAT neighbour is my grandmothers' friend. A 95 year old lady. Who had called my grandmother, telling her I had been fertilizing her flowers. Because OFCOURSE she woke up, when someone was puking outside her house.\nI still hide when I see that old lady in the streets. Yes, the god damn woman is nearly 100 years old now, and STILL remembers the one who puked her guts out in the old lady's backyard.", "summary": "Drunk. Do not remember shit,I apparently puked in an old lady's backyard. Hurray for living in a small town where everyone knows my grandmother\u2026."} {"id": "t3_qr7sg", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "If you don't jerk off with us and prove you can cum, you aren't a man. What is the most hurtful thing your friends have done to you?", "post": "I was in the 7th grade at the time and on new years eve I was invited to a friends party. So I went over to their house to chill with a group of people. Eventually near the end people left and it was just two of my friends and myself left.\n\nWe were in my friends computer room when one of them suggested that we jerk off together from watching porn on his computer. They basically came to a concession to jerk off together and needless to say I was not cool with it, it was extremely awkward. \n\nThey were trying to get me to jerk off with them and my refusal was seen as me not proving my manhood to them. I straight up told them that it was fucked up and I refused to do that while they were around. They then gave me an alternative and told me to jerk it in the bathroom onto tissue and show it to them. I said I wouldn't do that either.\n\nNeedless to say they started doing the 'deed' while I was sitting in front of them. I was disgusted and when one of my friends finished, he threw his jizz rag at me. I got up and just left in disgust.\n\nThe next day at school, they told some people that I refused to jerk off with them or at least jerk off in private to prove my manhood. I felt a great deal of shame (I was a late bloomer) and was hurt by my friends. \n\nSo Reddit, I ask you.. What is the most hurtful thing your friends have done to you?", "summary": "Friends wanted me to circlejerk with them, I refused and they gave me shit for it and told other people at school that I wouldn't prove my manhood."} {"id": "t3_1sulkx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am an I [M24] in the right to be feeling neglected from my ex[F22]?", "post": "First off, I know, she's an ex but a little background.. We were together for almost 8 years. She broke up with me about 9 months ago because I guess she just saw that I wasn't what she wanted but we never really stopped talking and our conversations/mood hasn't changed (still say 'i love you' etc.). As of a week ago we decide that we're going to try to get back to where we were. We're not considered bf and gf but are trying to reach that and I'm trying to give her as much space as I can. She hated how clingy I am/was. But because of this, I constantly feel like I'm walking on egg shells with her..\n\n---\n\nSo onto the topic, she's at a friends house right and is apparently going to be there til midnight or later which i'm not too fond off but she said she'd text me and she let me know she was there, then there's been no contact since, even after i texted her a couple more times. I can tell I'm definitely not a priority of hers and she doesn't see me as I see her, but am I right to be feeling like this (ignored) or do you think I'm in the wrong?\n\n---\n\nI love this girl to death, she'd always come #1 in my life with anything, so even if I'm at work or doing anything to keep busy, she'll always be on my mind. Sometimes I check my phone just to make sure I didn't miss a text from her when I *know* she hasn't said anything. So im looking for someones opinion on this..", "summary": "8 yr relationship ended, always stayed in contact and want to work on getting back to being together but feel neglected by her"} {"id": "t3_4zgtjw", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Slightly passive aggressive follow-up from recruiter.", "post": "This isn't of much importance as I have multiple interviews lined up at other companies, but would this email rub anyone else the wrong way?\n\nI've applied to hundreds of places and very few even have the common courtesy to return an email. I sent an application a few weeks ago and got a response to complete a pre-employment survey prior to getting an interview from this company. With the slew of other applications and interviews I've been having, I didn't respond and kind of forgot about it.\n\nNow about a week later I got a follow up email (riddled with spelling mistakes, mind you.) asking me to \"respond to the information that has been requested of you\" or send them an email if I want to withdraw. Just kind of rubbed me the wrong way and I'd be willing to bet this company doesn't even send emails to rejected interviewees. I don't think I'll be responding on principle.", "summary": "It's amusing how companies blow off people searching for jobs so easily and then get offended when you are busy or do it to them."} {"id": "t3_3yubsl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 F] with my foreign colleages [20 - 35 M/F] 6 months, They (tech lead included) only speak Hindi at lunch (software dev office in U.S.) and I'm finding it hard to keep a pleasant demeanor and find it incredibly rude. I'm the only American ;", "post": "I've been on this dev team for 6 months, and everyone is pleasant in general except for one thing. We all sit together at lunch (around 11 Indian people M-F) and myself. This is a company located in the U.S. After the first few weeks, I notice they will only speak Hindi at lunch , but ask where I am, or what is wrong if I excuse myself. (Most of us are contractors) I know that another contractor had left (been fired? unsure) due to (\"cultural differences\") so I'm not sure if speaking up would help or hurt. I find my lunch (only time away from the computer ) to be very unpleasant and find it common courtesy to speak the host countries language or the language everyone speaks. It's just not fun and I end up messing around on my phone, and today nearly stormed out. (Later covered it with an excuse to keep professional appearances). I have tried asking questions in English and even telling one that I am closer to about the issue, and he agrees. However, they all end up reverting back after a few minutes of explaining to me in English what they are saying. \n\nI'm not sure how to handle this, and am considering moving my schedule back an hour and eating at my desk. Anyone experience this and what is the best way to deal?", "summary": "I am getting tired of maintaining a happy face at lunch when my colleages all speak a language I am not fluent in. "} {"id": "t3_4ohma4", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "My Teacher Guilt Tripped Me", "post": "On Tuesday I was called into the Principal's office to talk to her about some issues I had in school. I decided that because I am graduating I would file a complaint about an awful teacher who refused to teach our class this year. The entire year this teacher would sit at his desk and make us do Chapter Work that he wouldn't grade and would make us do a portfolio which he glanced at once and gave you a grade based on how much he liked you (as hard as it to believe, trust me on this I am not lying).\n\nI told her everything he did (how he didn't teach, how I felt unprepared for college because his class didn't help me learn, and how my friend was upset because her parents paid $180 to attend the class because she was from a private school and had to pay for transportation to a class where she didn't learn anything). The only reason I told the Principal was because I didn't want students next year to be stuck in the same boat as me and my friend.\n\nDespite telling the principal not to use names, I assume the teacher figured out it was me because he knew I was in her office to talk about school. During graduation practice we were handed a card from a teacher to simulate a diploma. When I opened the card, I saw that it was written from the teacher who I complained about. Inside the card was a $100 bill. I feel awful now and when I saw him at graduation he acted superficial and tried to ignore me. I managed to approach him and I said \"Mr. Teacher the 100 dollars...\" He looked at me and said \"it's for your family and make sure to tell everyone in college how you like it in [TOWN NAME] and be sure to visit.\" Then I said, \"But the money...\" and he replied with \"It's for your family.\"\n\nI haven't felt this awful before in my life. I'm up right now typing this because I can't sleep. What he wrote and what he really means is driving me crazy. My family told me to spend the money but I don't know if I can. The money feels dirty...", "summary": "I filed a complaint about a bad teacher to make sure students will gain an education from him next year but he found out and wrote me a goodbye card with $100 in it."} {"id": "t3_1j1kif", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "[Serious] What should I expect at a recruitment evening?", "post": "Hey reddit, I've been 'personally invited' to a recruitment evening for a company after I applied for a job there a few weeks back. I've never been to a recruitment evening before, and to be honest, hadn't really heard of one. \n\nI'm currently in a dead-end job, and the company I've applied for can really be a game changer for me in terms of career direction and progression so I'm really looking to make the best impression I can. As such I was wondering if anyone can give me some insight into what I should expect and possibly any tips that may have helped you in the past, or even if you host these, what you look for when recruiting. I would really appreciate your help.", "summary": "Never been to a recruitment evening - Hit me with your insight and tips to make the whole thing go that little bit better! "} {"id": "t3_49gdpb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29M] with my wife [28F] of four years, she is mad at me because I told her I thought our baby daughter looks goofy.", "post": "I'm looking for some advice on how I can get her to realize that I love our daughter and didn't mean anything by my comment. \n\nMy mom came over after we brought our daughter home from the hospital a few weeks ago and was taking pictures of me holding my daughter. She made some remark about how pretty she was, and I made an innocent joke about her looking goofy (like a walrus). My wife was in the room at the time, and she came over to me and asked me what I meant. I told her that it's not that I think she is ugly or anything like that. I just think she, like most babies, looks weird. She got really upset and took our daughter from me and left the room. \n\nIt's now been two weeks since the incident, and my wife still is angry with me. She has made quite a few passive-aggressive remarks about what I said. There have also been quite a few tears shed. She says that she feels like I blame her for the way our daughter looks, which is absolutely crazy. She has also suggested that I don't love our daughter, which is also ridiculous. I have tried apologizing every way I know how. I just don't get why she's upset. I know her hormones are out of balance right now and she's a little crazy, but she acts like I said I hate our daughter. I very much love her, and I have told her that over and over again. My actions also should tell her I love our daughter. \n\nI'm not sure what she wants me to do or if there is anything else I can do, but I want her to see that I love our daughter, even if I do think she looks goofy.", "summary": "Told my wife that our newborn daughter looks goofy. She thinks I don't love our daughter and blame her for the way our daughter looks. How can I get her to understand that I didn't mean anything by my comment?"} {"id": "t3_1azqx6", "subreddit": "college", "title": "How to keep the house clean with many roommates?", "post": "Hi, I'm looking for advice on a good system to keep my college house clean. \n\nI live in a party house with 4 other roommates that I adore 99% of the time. We all have SOs and and a variety of friends that are always circulating the house. It's a fun time, and I love everyone, but the mess is unbearable. \n\nWith so many people living here and pseudo-living here, it's difficult to see who made what mess, and hard to keep anyone accountable. Most guests that come over to make a meal or have a beer rarely clean up after themselves.\n\nI have one roommates that is very lazy with his dishes, two that are okay but don't clean up after other people and sometimes leave their dishes out, and myself and another that frequently will do all of the dishes or clean all of the mess. \n\nIt's hard finding time to clean with the busy-ness of college and work. The house is disgusting when there are midterms and finals. \n\nNo one seems to care a lot about the cleanliness because sometimes it just seems so bad that it can't ever be fixed. It's slowly driving me nuts and making me want to move out. I'm not absurdly clean, but trash and dirty dishes everywhere are just bad.", "summary": "Party house, love the roommates, hate the mess, need a system for making cleaning more regular or just existing in general."} {"id": "t3_2z96zv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How to \"break up\" with LD lover because I met someone local? Lover has flights booked to visit in a few weeks!", "post": "Me F, 33, Him M, 33 - in a LD 'non-relationship' for 8 months.\n\nI met a great guy who lives a 1.5hr flight away from me, and in another country. We've seen each other only twice for long weekends, and used to text each other constantly since August 2014. He booked flights to come see me in a few weeks, but since then I met someone local. \n\nMe and LD lover are NOT in a relationship, although I wanted to be, he told me it was too much commitment for him. \n\nI'm head over heels for the new guy in my life, although of course I still care for my lover, I know I need to end it. How do I break this news out of left field to him that he's not coming to visit, and will likely be out of pocket for the flights??\n\nI can't help thinking how upset I'd be if it was the other way around..... help!", "summary": "How to \"break up\" with LD lover because I met someone local? Lover has flights booked to visit in a few weeks!"} {"id": "t3_21wc4r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Needing to know if I [22F] am in the wrong for being suspicious of my b/f [26M] of 2 years?", "post": "I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, so here it goes. I am having issues with my bf (we live together) of two years talking to his ex (they dated for 4 years). From what I gather, he is talking to her about her relationship issues with her SO, and he is talking to her about his relationship with me. \n\nI just find it difficult to see that as normal. They talk constantly, and while my bf says that they are now like brother and sister, it still puts me off. She lives in another state, so I dont have to worry too much, but the fact that he doesn't talk to me about our issues but talks to her kills me. And not to mention, that he deletes all conversations with her.\n\nI was using his phone the other day to look something up on the internet (wasn't snooping, my phone was in the other room) as soon as he saw i had his phone, he snatched it out of my hands. I hadn't looked at his texts, but he acted as though there was something I shouldn't see. I am hurt to say the least, but it just doesn't seem right to me. I have tried to talk to him about the way it makes me feel but he just pushes it off and states \"have I ever given you a reason not to trust me\". \n\nWhat do I do in this situation? Am I making this out to be more than it is? Or do I have something to worry about? If so, how do I approach the subject without accusations?", "summary": "Bf of 2 years talking to his ex daily, and then deleting texts from just her afterwards. Do I have something to worry about?"} {"id": "t3_1p2y7j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "In a tough place...", "post": "Background: My childhood was filled with verbal abuse and a mother who is bipolar along with a father who blackmailed me to keep quite just so she wouldn't ruin his business (aka bankrupt him)\n\nFast forward to college: I still live under these pretenses that if my mother doesn't get her way she will bankrupt him. I'm nearly 20 years old, moved back in with my parents bc of college expenses, and they are paying for tuition. Recently my mother has started to lose her mind and she is starting to revert to how she was when I was little. My dad wants me to stay at the college I'm at because my siblings went there and it is a prestigious school. \nMy problem is that I am constantly under fire-meaning bullying. I have the blackmail from both parents and then the mocking/calling at college then it starts all over again the next day. I am honestly sick of being treated like crap and I have no clue about how I should go about this..", "summary": "Living with abusive parents. They want me to keep living at home/go to the college of their dreams all i want to do is leave. How should I go about this?"} {"id": "t3_15f82e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [24f] acting spoiled about my [25m] boyfriend's Christmas present?", "post": "We've lived together for a few months (dated for about 8), this is our first Christmas together.\n\nHe saw all the packages I had ordered for him over the past month. I told him that I thought it was special and sweet to give presents to your loved ones on Christmas, and he knew all of the packages were gifts for him (I say this because he asked and I told him).\n\nHe told me he wasn't \"big on holidays\", but I didn't think much of it, especially since I watched him buy tons of thoughtful, expensive presents for his friends and family (he has much more money than me).\n\nI didn't buy him anything overly expensive, but I did buy him 7 or 8 thoughtful presents, that I started giving to him yesterday on Christmas Eve. A few presents in, I was in the other room and he hopped online and bought me a cheap online game. \n\nI'm not sure what to think. I've been watching him be showered in gifts all month from his friends and family, and spent Christmas Eve watching him exchange presents with his family, feeling like the odd one out. For me, there was just him this Christmas. I don't have any family, and I've had to move around the country a lot, so there's no one else that I'm close to. \n\nI feel really guilty for feeling upset about this. I guess I'm just wondering if I should talk to him about this, or more importantly what to say. Somehow I feel like it's my own fault, but I'm not sure what I did wrong.", "summary": "Received an almost-nothing gift from live-in boyfriend who was aware of a pile of gifts I got for him, not sure what to say."} {"id": "t3_340equ", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my Fiance [24 F] of 8.5 years 4 of them engaged, feel bad for thinking the way I do.", "post": "I have been thinking lately that I am fat (5'7\" at 190 pounds) and that I would like to get back in shape (around 150-160 pounds).\n\nHowever, I would also like my fiance to lose weight as well, seeing as she is 5'4\" and 220 pounds. I feel bad for thinking she needs to lose weight, but I don't want to be the one \"that can do better\" I feel that she should be the one \"that can do better\".\n\nWhile she is upset with her weight, she has no motivation at all to actually do anything about it, and has flat out said she won't. Now, I have never thought about breaking up with her before, but I am starting to not find her body appealing anymore. I know I shouldn't even think that, but its the truth.\n\nI guess I don't really know what to ask for advice on, but I thought I should turn here for advice. So, I guess I am willing to accept any and all advice given. Thanks in advance for any and all advice.", "summary": "I want to lose weight and think my fiance should too, because I'm starting to lose attraction. I feel bad for thinking this way and don't know where to turn to for advice."} {"id": "t3_113k28", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "When my neighbor blasts their music until 4am, I stay up and wait til they all fall asleep and then blast them with off beat basslines. Reddit, what kind of things do you do to get even or solve problems?", "post": "So yeah, my neighbor blasts their music at club volumes (no joke on my db meter it was reading 105 on my side of the wall) until 3 or 4 in the morning and does so on weekdays sometimes (though not nearly as often, anymore. Used to be almost every night). So basically, instead of calling building security (which leads to them getting fined if playing music after a certain time during \"quiet hours\"), I stay up and wait until I hear them all leave and then whoever is left falls asleep.. essentially I wait for silence (we have pretty thin walls). I then find the heaviest, least rythmic, punchy sounding kicks and basslines I can find.. speaker finds it's way near the wall and about 2-3 hours after they go to sleep, to be sure they are near the deepest most relaxed part of their sleep cycles, then I start blaring the music. And directly into their bedroom (my friend used to live there so I know the layout). Occasionally pausing it and skipping around to make it even less rythmic. This apparently sent the message I was going for, because this used to be a nearly every night thing. Now it's maybe once every two weeks, not nearly as loud and usually winds down around 2 at the latest now, and sometimes as early as 12. (on weekdays)\n\nSo, Reddit, what things have you done to get even or solve problems instead of taking the proper \"formal actions\"?", "summary": "Neighbor blares music til 4am.. I stay up and wait til they are deep in slumber and blare even more annoying music back."} {"id": "t3_15454t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "When my girlfriend gets drunk she likes to kiss other girls and I don't like it. M[22] dating F[21] for 10 months", "post": "When my girlfriend [21] goes out to drink with her lady friends, she likes to make out with them saying it is just fun and there are no feelings. I believe her in that there is no feelings but I still don't like that she does it. I have brought it up a few times and she just says she likes to but it is nothing and I shouldn't worry. I does only happen once every couple months and I know she loves me and I love her but I don't like when she does it. Am I in the wrong letting it get to me or should I just let it happen?", "summary": "Girlfriend likes to make out with her lady friends when drunk and I don't like it even when she says there aren't and feelings."} {"id": "t3_2qhfw4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it to early for me [19F] to tell her [18F] that I love her? Does she love me and is waiting to say it (girly clues inside...)", "post": "so we met in the middle of October, and it was sorta \"love at first sight\" type of deal. We have been sleeping together, texting, calling ever since. Started dating 2 or 3 weeks after. So, I'm developing crazy feelings for her. When I hold her in my arms and look her in the eyes, I am in love . I've never felt that way about someone, and every second with her I feel in love. Then Christmas break comes, and we're calling, skyping, and texting(we live 1,000 miles away outside of college), and I know I'm in love. But I can't tell her over the phone... So I have to wait till January. \n\nAnyways, I don't know if I want to say it first, because she has already been in love (3 years on and off in high school) and she's my first.\n\nNow,to her hints at loving me:\nshe always says how much she:\n- loves our relationship \n- loves us\n- loves how sweet I am to her\n- loves how perfect I am for her\n- misses me like crazy\n- she always wears my shirts and sends me pictures wearing them back home\n\nSo what do you think? Does she love me? Should I tell her when I get back?", "summary": "she always says she \"loves\" things about me or us, and I love her. She has had a love before me though, so I'm weary. Should I tell her?"} {"id": "t3_hpkms", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What are some good ideas for stress relief?", "post": "A few weeks ago, I went to a psychiatrist and she suggested I take the rest of the school year off due to stress. Unfortunately, I didn't heed her advice at all, and have gotten dramatically worse. This is affecting my life in a dramatic way and I really need to start getting things under control.\n\nI think a lot of it comes down to stress (my eyes have been more dilated, I can't ever concentrate, and now get around 3 hours of sleep every night), and my whole thought process. Besides being mentally depressed, I always hate on myself (in thought, as well as out loud), regardless how much \"positive thinking\" I do.\n\nMy entire body feels tense from the amount of pressure I'm under, and I don't think I can stand it for one day longer. I've been talking less and less everyday (barely mumbling things at school in discussion) and started having tremors a few months ago (which are now constant).\n\nI apologize in advance in case this sounds more jumbled than I hope, but I am really at my wit's end here. I lay in bed every night just laying there, no phone or anything within reach, but still cannot sleep. If it's not one thing on my mind, it's five others.", "summary": "I need some stress relieving techniques so I can sleep tonight. 9 hours until I have to get up starts now."} {"id": "t3_2da28r", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[M/23] Really like a female friend, but it's quite messy...", "post": "Just now we are friends with benefits, she is quite shy and just goes with the flow. Let me give you a background on how this came about. \nI split up with my girlfriend of a year, the friend was there for me, and I explained I didn't want a GF etc. Recently we've been talking a lot and started having casual sex, she told me she doesn't want to lead me on etc. But I have a sinking feeling she is saying that purely because she thinks I'm really not into the idea of a GF and doesn't want to scare me off. I have since started to quite like her, but she is going on a date with another guy on Saturday, I'm seeing her on the friday for a \"friend date\" and, well you know... the problem I have is that I really want to tell her that I do like her like that. She knows I like her, but she is under the impression I don't want a GF. I'm quite worried that if I tell her I'm kind of jealous about the fact she is going on a date with this guy, it will end everything we have just now... but at the same time I also think she would possibly be keen on it, I just don't want to put it out there and ruin everything.... I hope i explained that well.", "summary": "friend became friend with benefits, both of us said we weren't looking for anything serious, i now like her, she is going on date with dude. I am jealous. Do i tell her?"} {"id": "t3_1tuxbd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my boyfriend [22M] 1 yr, he's gained a lot of weight and I'm concerned.", "post": "My boyfriend and I just celebrated our anniversary and we're ridiculously happy. I looked back through our pictures and noticed how much weight he's gained.\n \nI'm a person who cares about my health and I know that he doesn't care as much, that's fine, to each their own. But, when he was getting dressed I noticed he's put on a lot of weight on his stomach, which isn't healthy and is very hard to get rid of.\n \nI'm not concerned about his looks, I'll love him no matter what he looks like. I'm concerned about his health because diabetes runs on both sides of his family. He doesn't drink a lot, so it's not beer weight it's just weight gain. \n\nI'm very athletic and health-concious, so I don't want to damage his self-esteem or anything. How do I express my concern for his health and about his weight gain without hurting his feelings?", "summary": "My boyfriend has gained a lot of weight, I'm concerned he's going to get diabetes because it runs in his family and I don't know how to address it without hurting his feelings."} {"id": "t3_2l0xi1", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Daughter 16, wants to see me (her Dad) for first time in 5 years. What to say to her to give myself best possible chance of making a relationship work between us.", "post": "I split up with my ex before I even knew she was pregnant. My daughter (and only child) has grown with her Mum & stepdad all her life. I was slow to make an effort after my daughter was born (it was complicated by the fact that I was living in a different country, but that's not an excuse).\n\nSince my daughter was about a year old, I've done everything in my power to form a relationship with her, and things were working fine for a few years. However when I asked for a little more access, my ex turned my daughter against me, and daughter no longer wanted to see me. I haven't seen her in about 5 years now, but write to her regularly (she never replies, except in the negative (which I described here 3 years ago \n\nA couple of months ago their solicitor wrote to me saying daughter wants to be adopted. I replied saying that I'll think about it. The only benefit to her being adopted from what I can see is that if stepdad adopted her, then she would some day have reduced inheritance tax to pay in the event of his passing. Anyway I've told them I'll think about.\n\nToday I got a text from stepdad saying daughter wants to meet me tomorrow. It's possibly so she can ask personally for me to allow her to be adopted? On the other hand, maybe she's finally going to allow me to part of her life.\n\nThis may be the only chance I ever get to speak to my daughter again. What can I do / say to her, to give myself the best possible chance that she will want to finally have a relationship with me?", "summary": "Daughter finally wants to see me, after about 5 years of no contact; what to say to her to make best impression?"} {"id": "t3_2z6rq3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Are my bf [19 M] and I [18 F] going too fast?", "post": "So, this is my first relationship ever and before this, I've never even made out with a guy before.\n\nAnd we've known each other for a while and have been talking for a couple months before we started dating, so I'd say we were somewhat close by the time the relationship started. \n\nIt's only been about 2 weeks and after a few dates and makeouts and stuff, he wanted me to go down on him. I told him I didn't exactly want to yet, but he was persistent and I eventually agreed to. It wasn't terrible, but also not that great either. \n\nSince he was all for it, and I didn't really care too much since it's staying between us, I don't think the relationship will get messed up. \n\nBut I also am not ready for actual sex yet, since this is the very beginning of my very first relationship, and I just want to see how things go with what's happening right now. \n\nBut was this the smart thing to do? Was this way too soon for my first time giving oral, in relation to my total experience which was nonexistent prior to 2 weeks ago? Am I putting too much thought into this? Am I taking this way too lightly and am actually desenstizied to the entire thing?", "summary": "Gave bf head after only about 2 weeks of dating and I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do."} {"id": "t3_3ammq5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [15M] with my [16F] for 6 months, should I end it? Desperately need advise on what to do", "post": "I'm thinking of ending it with my (first) girlfriend. I love her (or at least thought I did), but lately especially she has been very off with me. She doesn't seem to care about me or even want to spend time with me. I'm the only one who seems bothered anymore.\n\nI don't want us to be single really as I know she'll be fine, and will probably start dating easily soon afterwards. She also may decide to get with my/her friend, whom she is very close to (a few weeks ago when our gang went out to Liverpool they were together most of the time, which pissed me off a lot. Also, I can't even tell her how I feel without her biting my head off, so I don't think I have much of a choice but to end it.\n\nI can't really break up with her until the 26th as that is when our prom is, and I wouldn't like to break up this close to it as we'd both have to go alone. I get on very well with her (alone more so) in person, thankfully. Almost all our problems arise when texting. \n\nMy dream scenario would be for her to see that she's lucky to have me as she definitely takes me for granted at the moment. Hopefully if I tell her I want to break up she will say no, and try to be nicer/kinder/more affectionate towards me again so (like at the start of the relationship), in an attempt to change my mind. \n\nBut I feel like I need advise, what should I do?", "summary": "Girlfriend isn't loving anymore, I may break up with her (but only after prom on 26th). Would prefer to stay together, though."} {"id": "t3_2v165f", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [20/M] am literally too nice to her [20/F], it is just 'too easy' for her", "post": "Ok, this is kind of an unusual problem, but I am literally too nice and too 'available' for her.\n\nShe knows that I am available for her 24/7, whatever she needs whenever she needs, and that makes it 'less of a challenge' and it makes it more, kind of boring. She was crazily in love with me for the first 3 months (we're 6 months in a relationship), but her 'love for me' is decreasing every day, because I'm literally not a challenge for her.\nShe takes me for granted way too much. She doesn't abuse it or something, she just feels less attracted because it isn't 'as challengy'. \n\nShe literally told me to not be as nice to her.\nAnd I don't know how to fix it, I am trying some methods as not replying in the same moment when i get her text and stuff like that, but I need a lot more, I need to make her jealous, how do I do that? \nI love her the most in the whole world, really, and I want her to keep loving me, but it is fading sort of. \nProblem is she used to be in love with me very much, and she got scared because i fell in love a bit more than her, and I need to start showing her a bit less. \n\nShe says hates herself because she \"finally found a guy that attracts her both phisically and mentally, a guy that has everything she wants, and then she starts to feel like she is starting to lose emotions\".\nNeed to start taking measures ASAP", "summary": "I'm literally too nice and too available, and i need to be less nice, because it is starting to feel a bit boring for her. How do I do that?"} {"id": "t3_19bhig", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (26f) am ready to date again, though I'm still in love with my ex (27m)", "post": "I (26f) was with my ex (27m) for 10 months. We broke up 4-5 months ago and stayed friends. I was acquainted with him through our childhood (since I was 5). I love him very much and he tells me that he loves me very much too. I was confused for a while because he told me his feelings, sent me Valentine's day flowers and recently flew down to visit me for my birthday, he told me that it's purely a friendship thing an that I shouldn't make anything out of it. He told me that he is not ready to date for a while and he is not interested in having a relationship with me. I love him but I respect that. \nThough just because he doesn't want me, doesn't mean I need to shut myself out from other people. I crave affection and interaction. Though, I don't make a spectacle of myself to get it. I've never had a one night stand, had people \"on the side\" and I make the effort to be a good girl. I want to settle and I want to find someone who wants to settle with and love me. \nI'm considering going on a dating site to find people. I'm so nervous though. I've never done anything like that before. \nNeed some encouragement!", "summary": "still in love with ex, though I am not going to shut myself away & be a spinster! Never had a one night stand or been on a dating site. Building up the courage to do it (dating site)."} {"id": "t3_38vgkm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [20M] with my girlfriend [21F] of a few months, thinks I have an STD after learning of my past sexual history", "post": "My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months, and we know each other's past history pretty well. I, a few years back, dated a very promiscuous girl, and my girlfriend knows this.\n\nMe and my girlfriend have only had sex a few times, and one of those times was without a condom. She was a virgin and is very inexperienced and does not understand a lot about sex. The other day it somehow came up in conversation that I slept with my ex one year ago, and my girlfriend accused me of having an STD, and I really do not like how she brings up my past history like that.\n\nShe says she is going to get an STD test because she thinks that my ex picked one up and gave it to me based on her promiscuity. I am going to get an STD test too just to prove to her I do not have one, but I was pretty offended she accused me of having one after I told her that I had slept with my ex a year ago. She is very upset and offended that I am offended at her.\n\nAm I wrong to be offended by that?", "summary": "Girlfriend and I have had sex, she finds out I had sex with someone a year ago and now thinks I have an STD"} {"id": "t3_30itwl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Coworker is exploiting schedule flexibility to his advantage.", "post": "I [26/m] work in a small department along with another guy [28/m]. We work in an industry where we must have someone in the office 7 days a week. Of course, weekend shifts are not popular. And we usually have 2 people work each day of the weekend: one early shift until midday, and then someone relieves them for the late shift.\n\nOccasionally we will help each other out by trading around shifts. For example, one person might work ALL of Saturday, and then the next personal ALL of Sunday so that we each get one full weekend day, rather than working part of both.\n\nThis arrangement works well, and we're happy to help each other out if someone requests to trade. But lately, one of my coworkers seems to be exploiting this for his own gain. He's been there the longest, and likes to joke about \"seniority\". \n\nBasically, a couple weeks ago, we were scheduled to work a weekend together. He \"graciously\" offered to work the entire Saturday, giving me the full day off. When I told him I already had plans Sunday evening (and thus couldn't trade a day for a day), he said that was ok and that I would just \"owe\" him a day.\n\nThis weekend is very similar. And now I offered to even things up by working a full day for him. I hate having this hang over me, especially if he tries to cash it in when it's inconvenient for me. So I offered that to him this morning.\n\nHis response? \"That's ok. I can work this weekend. I think I'll save it for another time.\"\n\nThat annoys me. He was the one who offered to work for me, when it was convenient for *him*, even though I didn't require it. And now he's trying to use that favor to his advantage, only cashing it in when it benefits him the most. Now I know to avoid these situations with him in the future, but for now, what's a polite way to tell him that he doesn't get to choose my schedule for me?", "summary": "Traded shifts with a coworker, now they don't want to \"redeem\" their extra off day until it benefits them the most."} {"id": "t3_1v6vbq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] wanting to message her [20 F], but unsure how to go about it, or if i should even attempt.", "post": "So i lived on college campus last year and hit off with a girl towards the end of it (after 7 months or so living on the same floor of about 40 people), we both liked each other but we kept it secret to avoid everyone talking about it. We have similar friendship groups and will probably bump into one another at many events due to the friendship groups. A whole lot less pressure without your whole floor/friendship group knowing i guess. Im not sure if that makes sense, but we both agreed that people liked to gossip and shit, which would be annoying. I definitely know i do not like that sort of attention.\n\nWe both agreed that it probably wouldnt last over break and we would just remain friends. This was due to living too far away from each other, doing it long distance seemed very pointless from both perspectives. But during the second last week of exams, she kind of started to make excuses to not hang out. Which left me quite hurt. Anyway we had a talk towards the end of the semester and she gave a very bleak and \"sorry for leading you on\" sort of conversation. \n\nAfter a few weeks of being on break i decided to ask her over facebook what happened. Her reply of \"You didnt screw anything up at all. I really enjoyed hanging out with you but I didn't have strong feelings for you to continue anything. I never had any intentions of making it long term anyway I guess. But from what I remember you didnt either\".\n\nWe havn't talked since. I still have feeling for her though. I'm wondering whether or not its worth sending her a text message saying i miss her, or if i should just drop it. We didnt have a fight at the end, but it was one sided. \n\nIf i were to go about messaging her, what do you think would be a good way to approach it?", "summary": "Was very keen on a girl towards end of University, we had a little thing, that ended when the semester ended. Should i message her? how would one go about this without losing all dignity?"} {"id": "t3_2jup7k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 4 months, need some ideas for a special date night", "post": "I'm a senior in high school and me and my girlfriend hang out a lot but we never really have anything to do. Usually we end up spending time at her house just watching tv or a movie or something but lately we've both been kinda getting sick of that.\n\nSo this weekend I told her I would take her out to dinner and then we would do something fun. I asked her what she wanted to do but she told me it was my choice, we can do anything I want to. The problem is that we live in a fairly small town and neither of us really ever has any ideas for things to do when we want to spend time with just each other. \n\nMy question is what should I do with her this weekend? I honestly would really like to just park somewhere and make out possibly leading to something more but i can't just suggest that. So what is something that we could do together that would give me the opportunity to initiate something more?\n\nThanks", "summary": "Need some suggestions for what to do with my girlfriend after we have dinner on Friday, hopefully leading to some making out and even more that that ;)"} {"id": "t3_vpnq2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Attracted to someone else, I have a gf. Is it wrong?", "post": "I'm 19 male and my girlfriend is also 19 female. We've been dating for almost 9 months now. We love each other very much. I'm so lucky and happy to have such an amazing girlfriend. It's a LDR though, about 1.5 hours away from each other, not too bad. Sometimes she gets upset easily at small things and gets quiet with me for a little bit and when that happens I get irritated but I always keep my cool cause there's no sense in making a big issue out of a small one. But here's my problem I'm having.\n\nI've been interning for the last couple months for summer and I have about 2 weeks left (thank god). Everyone at work is great and we all get along well. There's this one female (21) that I find interesting. I'm only PHYSICALLY attracted to her. It's odd because she's not my type at all. Different race, tattoos, she has a kid and only 21. We have small chit-chats and she's been flirty with me lately. I admit, I have a little too. I try to minimize my contact with her whenever possible but some times I still see her, like in the break room or something. I know I'm not going to let this stupid thing ruin a wonderful relationship but I feel horrible that I have this physical attraction to some other girl. I love my girlfriend so much and I just feel guilty about this. I want to be open and tell her about this but I don't think that's a good idea considering this internship ends in 2 weeks and a few weeks ago she thought I wasn't physically attracted to her, which is not the case at all. My girlfriend has a banging body. But this has also never happened to me before. \n\nIs it normal to be physically attracted to someone? What to do?\n\nSorry if it's confusing, please ask questions if have any. This felt good to write out because I've never told anyone about this and just kept it to myself.", "summary": "I have an amazing loving relationship with my gf but I am also physically attracted to another female co-worker. Is this normal?"} {"id": "t3_2bsme0", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My [20F] best friend [20M] is thinking about getting back together with his ex...what can I do?", "post": "My best friend of two years dated a girl freshman year of college. They had a lot of arguments and disagreements (mostly over the fact that she liked to go out and get drunk and he despises things like that) but also some happy times. At the end of the year she decided to transfer to a school across the country, and they ended their relationship.\n\nNow, he told me that they've been texting and talking and that they think they both still have feelings for each other. They're considering getting back together and willingly entering into a long distance relationship after a year of being apart. They would probably only be able to see each other about once or twice a year.\n\nHe's been very confused and conflicted and has been having a hard time making a decision as to wether or not this is something he wants to try. I want him to be happy, but I don't like her at all and I'm having a hard time being supportive, as I feel like this would be a terrible decision for him.\n\nWe found out yesterday she's coming down here to visit for a week. She disguised it as her \"taking a trip to visit some of her friends\" but because it's summer there's basically no one down here and I find that hard to believe. I'm freaking out, because I'm worried he's going to sleep with her or something and that them actually spending time together will drive him to make an impulsive decision. I'm so worried about all of this it's been making me physically sick. (I also suffer from an anxiety disorder, and this issue has been giving me hell).\n\nSo, reddit, what should I do? How can I support him even though I think this is wrong? Or should I not support him? What do you think he should do? What should I say to him? If you want more details or have questions I'll answer them.", "summary": "Friend wants to get back together with ex I extremely dislike in a long distance relationship likely doomed to fail. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_3g5s2h", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Misrepresented salary, now job offer is on the line pending proof of salary", "post": "I was contacted by a recruiter for a job that is nearly identical to the one I presently hold - same function and same niche industry. I had never talked to a recruiter before, so when asked my current salary, I said the market rate in my area instead of what I am currently making (which is about 20% lower). During the initial call, I also revealed that my company doesn't have bonuses and our equity plan is still being finalized. We did not discuss anything about 401k or vacation, etc. He followed up my discloser with a salary range aligned with/ above market rate. \n\nI then moved on to over half a dozen interviews. During the course of the interview process, I received a title change/increase but with no accompanying salary increase. I told the recruiter that I received a promotion and the compensation increase was still in negotiation.\n\nIn a written email, I noted that if I was offered the new position, I would accept the top of the range (~80% increase over my current salary). This is the only number that was ever recorded in writing. I never reported my current/claimed salary in writing.\n\nThere is now an offer on the table AFTER background check has been passed - no numbers have been discussed. For the background check, they are requiring the last two W2s and the last two paystubs. They are also requiring that I fill out an online form that lists starting/final salary for all of my previous jobs. \n\nIs there a way I can provide the salary background information they need without discrediting my earlier statements? At this point, I am less concerned with getting the top of the range and more concerned with getting the job (I actually really like the company!).", "summary": "Verbally inflated salary to meet current market rate. Requested in writing a salary that is about 80% more than my current rate). HR is requesting paystubs, W2s, and a form that details all previous salaries"} {"id": "t3_gf7ny", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Dear Reddit, what to you do when your life feels like it's fucked?", "post": "Okay, so I have a college degree, but haven't worked in over a year and even then it was at a shitty grocery store.\n\nI used to (since I graduated from UC San Diego in 2007) work as a freelancer in video production, but I never really broke into the field. Then marketing departments shutdown during the big market crash, so I go no work.\n\nI went to a tier 1 public university, but my GPA sucked (2.75 not terrible, but it's been hard trying to get into grad school).\n\nI spent the last 2 years taking prereqs. to get into nursing school, master's entry, ABSN, community college. In the last 37 units I got a 3.82 GPA, but that doesn't seems to matter to admissions committies, since my cumulative isn't >3.0 (even though it's like 2.979 at this point).\n\nNo one, not even starbucks, will hire me since I've got rather little \"work experience\".\n\nMy parents have been quite kind in taking me back in, but I feel like I'm in fucking purgatory. My life is a fucking non-starter.\n\nThe only plus side is that I have no debt, as my parent (who are civil servants) were gracious enough to pay for my B.A.", "summary": "I'm a flunky 27 year old living with my parents who just got rejected for every grad school I applied to. What the fuck do I do?"} {"id": "t3_1dvsr8", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "[20yo College stud.] A gifttrust matured; how can I keep it ready for when I graduate?", "post": "A 20-year gift trust recently matured to me for almost $5,000. It is currently in an account in American Century. I have no experience managing my own accounts outside of rent checks and general purchases, but I have been reading PF for a year or so.\n\nI am midway through college in a STEM field, planning on having around $19k in student loans when I graduate. \n\nI have the option of staying with American Century, and adjusting my asset mix. The fund is currently 100% stock funds; I can also add in bonds and money market. I can also pull it out of AC altogether and put it somewhere else.\n\nAdditionally, I will be making money this summer in an internship. Should I add that money I save to this fund, or put it in savings? What is optimal for the 2 years until I start paying loans back? \n\nWhat would you suggest I do? I don't currently have a need for an emergency fund. I'm guessing my best bet is to save it for student loans, but what assets should I invest it in?", "summary": "$5000 trust matured; it's all in stock funds. Graduate in 2 years with 19k loans. What's the best move?"} {"id": "t3_1lqph7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] am terrified that my depression and paranoia issues are destroying my relationship with my boyfriend [19M] of a few months", "post": "First things first: My boyfriend and I dated about two years ago and it ended roughly. I had made a big mistake that I still regret to this day, but we have moved past that. It should also be noted that we are currently in a long distance relationship (As we were before), but the distance will be over in a year when I move for post-secondary.\n\nI have suffered from clinical depression and anxiety/paranoia issues since I was a child due to some traumatic experiences. Because of this, I've always been very prone to stress and, in turn, chronic grumpiness and anxiety. This bleeds into my relationship with my boyfriend since we talk on a daily basis, and I have various concerns. \n\n1. First of all, I'm always paranoid that he'll find someone better than me since we are apart. My self esteem definitely isn't the greatest, and I'm not proud of that fact. He is a very handsome man and I'm convinced he would have no problems finding another girl. I really, really want to trust him with everything I have, but I feel as though my self esteem gets in the way of that. I am grateful for him, but I feel as though he could do better. I express these concerns to him, and he is very kind and caring about it almost every single time, which will help temporarily, but the paranoia always returns.\n\n1. Because I'm so paranoid and easy to piss off I'm definitely afraid that I'll only push him away. It's a vicious cycle I'm not sure how to break. I really care about him and I've never felt so strongly about someone before, and losing him because I couldn't deal with myself would be pretty depressing. He reassures me that he \"isn't going anywhere\" anytime it's brought up, but it's almost like it isn't enough.\n\nI guess I'm just not sure how to deal, reddit.", "summary": "I'm the paranoid girlfriend who isn't sure how to deal with self esteem issues and thinks my boyfriend deserves better than me."} {"id": "t3_2mcefx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [25/m] can't seem to find contentment in my relationship with my girlfriend [26/f]", "post": "My girlfriend is wonderful. She's driven and smart and attractive. She's a genuinely good person and all my family and friends think she's wonderful. The sex isn't particularly good though. We've been together for 4.5 years and have been living together for a 1.5 years.\n\nThe issue is that I find myself frequently having crushes on other women. She seems so confident that I'm the person she wants to be with indefinitely, but I'm not sure at all. Sometimes I feel like she's perfect and I want to marry her, but more frequently, especially lately, I feel wholly indifferent towards her. She obviously deserves better than that.\n\nShe's such a wonderful person and there's no way I could imagine myself doing any better. My annoyances with her seem petty. I feel like there's something wrong with me for not being able to find contentment with her. Am I being immature (constantly crushing on other women and focusing on the negative) or is this something I'll never really get over? Is the break-up inevitable? I'm absolutely terrified by the prospect of breaking up with her and never finding anyone nearly as good as her, which seems very likely.", "summary": "My girlfriend, on paper, is absolutely fantastic, but I can't seem to find happiness in being with her. Is there something wrong with me?"} {"id": "t3_2k6q78", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Thinking about a loved one's traumatic experiences is worsening depression/causing lack of sleep", "post": "I apologize in advance if this text runs a little long, but I'll try to be as detailed as possible with my situation so I receive potentially helpful replies.\n\nThis past summer after graduating from college, I parted ways with my girlfriend of two years. Our relationship had always been rocky; I suffer from depression, and she has been dealing with depression/PTSD from a sexual assault she experienced at a very young age. Figuring out how to manage our conditions and stay happy together proved to be a pretty difficult endeavor, so we split up and took \"breaks\" over the course of our relationship. \n\nDuring one of those breaks, she was seeking comfort from a male friend that she trusted greatly. Since we weren't together, there wasn't much I could say about the matter, but I always had a feeling I knew what his true intentions were. One night while she was hanging out with him, he started feeding her shots of 151, got her completely drunk (she's a small girl, it probably didn't take more than two or three shots) and forced himself on her. She hid this from me until months after when we were back together, thinking I would think less of her for what happened. Nothing could be further from the truth.\n\nSo, the woman I love more than anyone in the world has been raped for the second time in her life, and by someone she trusted as a close friend. Thinking about either of the instances of assault makes me feel physically ill and more angry than I can begin to express. When I'm lying in bed trying to sleep, my mind wanders from thoughts of revenge, to feeling guilty for not being able to protect her. My hands shake, and I get that horrible \"lump in the throat\" feeling.\n\nI guess I'm looking for advice on how to handle my feelings. Do I confront them head-on with the realization that there's nothing I can do but be supportive for her if she needs it? That it's in the past and there's nothing I can do to rectify it now? Any help will be greatly appreciated. These thoughts are unwanted, horrible, and cutting into my sleep like nothing else ever has before.", "summary": "An ex-girlfriend whom I still love greatly was sexually assaulted twice in her lifetime, and thinking about it is making me feel like shit/preventing me from sleeping."} {"id": "t3_11h90s", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So apparently making sure a stranger is alright takes \"major balls.\" Is it seriously that rare to care for others?", "post": "I was at the mall with some friends, and we passed this girl who was standing by herself looking upset. I was being an immature cunt and passed by her while laughing my ass off at a joke my friend told me. \n\nAlmost inside the Barnes and Noble, I decided I wasn't going to be an ass and asked if she was alright, and waiting for a ride. \n\nShe was okay, but she looked really lonely, asshole me went into Barnes and Noble and bought Michael Jackson's autobiography instead of staying with her (It was cold and rainy, and I could have offered my jacket, it was also very dark and the neighborhood was kind of shady). She was gone when we left.\n\nI'm not asking for praise, because I should have done more, but I was told that took \"major balls.\" \n\nWhy does that take any amount of manliness to do? If someone looks upset, you should be willing to help them, right, is it seriously that much of an issue?", "summary": "Made sure lonely girl was alright, apparently that requires \"major balls.\" Michael Jackson's autobiography was really good, read it in a few hours."} {"id": "t3_1myyou", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24/F] with my husband [30/M] of 6 years, wants me to get a large tattoo of his name, should I?", "post": "So My husband wants me to get a large tattoo of his name, written in the Arabic alphabet (We are Muslim), down my rib cage, or down my upper leg area. He has mentioned it for a few years, but lately he is all about it. He says that I would be a bad wife if I did not do it.\n I don't want to be a bad wife of course. \n\nI dress very conservatively in public so no one would ever see. I don't know what to do. I don't want a tattoo. They scare me...it is just so forever and on your body. I know a husband is forever too, it just feels different for some reason. The name thing makes me feel like he owns me a bit, like I am property. I mentioned this to him, and he told me I am his property, but in a joking way. So everyone what do you think?", "summary": "Husband wants me to get a large tattoo of his name, says I would be a bad wife if I did not, I don't really want to, what should I do?"} {"id": "t3_20ldb1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my Ex [22 F] of 1.5~2years, 2 months after relationship... Letting go of resentment?", "post": "Okay... So, here goes. After having 2 really crappy past relationships (one of 1.5 years and one of 8 months) I dated this girl and thought she was better. She wasn't. We broke up and she was really kind of sketchy about it. I had just opened up to her about some mental health issues I had been going through, they had been escalating. The next day, she asked for some space, and a week later she called me to break up with me.\n\nOkay, fine, that's all good. Kind of suspect there's someone else... Sure enough, there is. I ask her about it in a round about way, then directly, and she still doesn't really admit it.\n\nI resent her. I asked her above all things to not lie to me. She lied. I told her I didn't see us being friendly at all in the next couple of months (she was adamant that we remain friends after dating, we were each others' \"rock\"). \n\nSo now I go between 1. considering what to do to get her back, 2. being so incredibly infuriated at what has happened 3. calling her up to be friendly, to keep tabs on things and work my way back in if that's what's gonna happen, 4. Feeling so desperately alone and upset about myself and my life, just a downward spiraling feeling, with her to blame.\n\nNone of these are ok, and I have been seeking counseling but I'm in the process of finding another therapist... the first one I went to was not constructive for me.\n\nI have been lifting, I'm a college athlete, I went on a vacation, I have gone out with friends and thrown myself into my work, I have a 3.5 GPA in a science major so I stay pretty busy. Yet here we are, 2 months later, I'm still in more or less the same place I was in the first week or two after we broke up.\n\nWhat do I do?", "summary": "Ex lied, So angry, mad, infuriated, sad, basically all over the place. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3stl3q", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "[Education] I need help choosing my transfer university for my Bachelors in Accounting.", "post": "This is a fairly straight forward problem I am having, but I am having difficulty deciding the correct course of action. I started going to community college two and a half years ago to get my basics complete to transfer to a 4-year-school. I knew from the beginning that accounting was going to be my major. It provides job stability, decent pay, and I won't have to move to find a job.\n\nHowever, about a year ago I fell in love with the idea of becoming a forensic/fraud accountant. I kind of liked the idea of working for government in the FBI or IRS and helping them fight white collar crime. Why is this a problem? The only school that is in my geographic area that gives a degree in fraud accounting is a private school.\n\nThe school costs ~$24,000/year in tuition and fees. Because of the extra classes I have to take for this degree it will tack on at least an extra semester, bringing the total costs to $60k. I have transfer scholarships that will cover $21k of that bringing the cost down to $49k. That isn't even counting books, not to mention the $900 CPA exam and $3000 CPA study guide I will most likely need to purchase.\n\nOn the other hand, I can enroll in a state school that will cost $9k a year and give me a transfer scholarship of $4k. I can easily make up the difference in other scholarships and only have to take out very small student loans to cover the remaining balance. They don't offer fraud accounting, but it is a decent school, and I would be okay with going there.\n\nIs this just a no-brainer? Am I crazy for even considering getting myself into so much debt for a degree like this? What do you all think? I really need some perspective.", "summary": "Private uni offers fraud accounting degree I would love to do, but costs $49k after scholarships for 2.5 semesters. State school offers regular accounting degree for $8k."} {"id": "t3_232fr3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[26 M] starting to get serious with a [24 F] who has never been in a serious relationship or in love before. Unsure if I should pursue this relationship .", "post": "I've been seeing this woman pretty steadily for just over two months and I can tell that I'm starting to fall for her. Simply put: she is amazing + I know she is infatuated with me as well. My concern however is that she's never been in love before and her longest relationship has been 7 months. \n\nAlmost a year ago I got out of the most serious relationship I've been in. I was with a woman that I wanted to spend my life with (had the ring) but the relationship abruptly ended. \n\nI've asked the girl I'm seeing now about her relationships and she told me she just hasn't found the right guy yet. \n\nI've always been a relationship guy and have been in a few long term ones. My fear is going through the pain of a breakup again. The fact that she hasn't gone through heartbreak, experienced love, or a long term relationship worries me. I don't want to be that guy she leaves after a few years. I'm looking for a best friend to spend my life with. Should I avoid getting more serious with her or am I being foolish for thinking that way? \n\nWhat are your opinions on this situation and your personal accounts of being in a relationship with someone who has never been serious or in love before?", "summary": "Feeling apprehensive and wondering if I should pursue a relationship with someone who hasn't been in love or in a serious relationship before."} {"id": "t3_37ftvd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My ex logs into Skype when I'm online", "post": "My ex (39m) and I (25f) dated on and off for 4 years. We broke up a few months ago and it was kinda messy. I said some nasty things to him because I was angry, and he wasn't happy about it. We live a few states away and had a long distance relationship, but he was seeing another chick, and I wasn't happy about that. \n\nThey are now recently engaged, and she just moved into his place this weekend. I don't know how long they have been seeing each other, but I assume it been at least 2 years of them \"hanging out\" without my knowledge. Not really important, though I suspect he is kinda \"settling\" for her as a rebound.\n\nAnyway, him and I haven't spoken since around Christmas of last year. I assumed he was over it and moved on. But he has a habit of breaking things off for a few months, and then talking to me again.\n\nI've noticed lately that when I log into Skype, he will suddenly do the same, but never says anything to me. It's weird. Because he only has 2 contacts on his Skype. And I know he doesn't use it to talk to anyone else.\n\nDo you think he's hoping that I'll message him, or is he working up the courage to talk to me? Or am I just being crazy? Please help!", "summary": "My ex and I broke up a few months ago. He logs into Skype at the same time as me, but says nothing. I want to know what that means."} {"id": "t3_14lnn8", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Not sure what to do (18M) I might be over thinking", "post": "Okay this is my first post so please be nice, I am currently living in china (English ExPat) I had a weekend off so I went to stay with some of my friends in a nearby city (Xinning I live in Lanzhou) we went out to 'KTV' (Crazy Karaoke place (Best thing ever)) it's a pretty big thing in china and we met up with about 6 other Expats. Of course lots of drinking was involved but, as the evening was winding down I found myself awfully close to this girl, I am sure she is older than me although not by much, we where practically on each others lap belting out cheesy love songs (China's western music selection is strange) after a bit on silence I put my arm around her (Big move eh) and we got closer but, of course it was time to leave... So as we got taxi's to go her friend (that she lives with) invited me and the friends I was staying with to hers but, my friends didn't want to go (early start in the morning) and becasue of not knowing the area I didn't really have a choice (I'm still a little annoyed for not going). So I asked for her number, she didn't know it so I gave her mine but, I don't think I got it right. So basically I got her number of my friend and am debating what to do. So whats the best thing to do, without going full creep with a text......\n>", "summary": "Karaoke night, didn't move fast enough, failed to give a girl my number, don't want to creep her out with sudden texts."} {"id": "t3_14whle", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Female Redditors, how important to you is it that a guy tells how he really feels about you face to face, as opposed to over text, IM, etc?", "post": "Let me start by saying I am a really shy guy.\nSo long story short, I was at a party, got pretty drunk, and I ended up telling this girl that I like basically how much I am attracted to her. so the next day I apologized and told her that I wasn't in my right mind, I was drunk, etc.\n\nBecause I don't see her very often (I'm a first year and she's a second year, completely different faculties), a week later she sets me up gloriously to tell her again and I blow chunks out the ass; kinda laughing it off (some might say I'm a shy guy).\n\nI now want to tell her for serious that I was embarrassed about my actions at the party, but what I said was true and that is how I feel about her. How important is it that I tell her this in person?", "summary": "Got drunk, spilled the beans, sobered up, blew chunks out of my ass, thought about things, and now I wanna tell her how I feel."} {"id": "t3_10lqq0", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How can I (23/f) get my boyfriend (24/m) to be less needy/more independent?", "post": "Hellooo. \nWe've been dating for a little over a year. We both are working and im in school, but we live with each other so we see each other plenty. \n\nFor the past few months he's been very needy and seemingly codependent. I consider myself pretty independent, I have my own beliefs and I LOVE my own time/space. This doesn't mean I don't like to be affectionate. But if I've seen you for 3 days straight, give me 5 hours to be by myself and read a book or something. Which I think is fair. \n\nOn the other hand, he will have his own time to play video games or something (he's into WoW), but its like he needs me to tell him what to do or he needs me around, or he needs to hug me 40 times in one hour, to function properly, or else he's in a shitty/emotional mood, and then i have to try and make him feel better. \n\n I've talked to him about this, and I've told him to do something he wants to do without asking my permission or seeking my approval or permission first. In one way, I can see he's just trying to be respectful, but in another way, i'm not your mom, im not worried about your ability to make a decision, do what you want unless you think it's something detrimental to our relationship. Does this make sense? A man who can be out on his own and have a good time and be truly independent is really attractive to me, and at this point in time I feel a bit smothered and a little turned off by his neediness. I've wanted to talk to him about it again but I don't know how to word it without hurting his feelings... since whenever i do say something i'm not happy with he gets really upset. \n\nSoooo.. advice?", "summary": "i feel like my boyfriend is too dependent of me and i'm feeling a bit smothered. how do i fix this?"} {"id": "t3_xxjfy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "girlfriend[18] is going to east coast ivy for college, while I[18] stay on the west coast", "post": "UCLA to be exact. Our relationship is 7 months old, we've known each other for a while though. We spend a lot of time together, and it's pretty casual but still sort of committed. We genuinely enjoy each other's company, most of the time we just do basically nothing, and without trying to fluff my ego, say that we are pretty mature for our age, so please don't belittle me based on our age. (Okay, you can if you want.)\n\nAnyways, she wants to try to stay together but I think it will be hard as college freshmen to stay in touch so frequently and she also doesn't completely approve (though has drank) of when I drink and smoke illicit substances (nothing ever more than weed), which I may do pretty often (but recently quit for her as it wasn't that important to me). I also want to make a lot of friends, which I think I still can, I feel like that sort of thing is more affected if you're a girl.\n\nWe have talked about staying together for 4 years and getting married but it is a loooooooooooooooooooooooong shot but I can imagine it happening even though realistically it is obviously ridiculous. Throughout the school year, she will be visiting home at least 7 times, including winter/spring breaks etc., and where we are from it is close enough to my school that it doesn't really matter.\n\nThe thing is, I feel like not seeing her often will hurt our relationship. Like I enjoy her physical company more than almost anything.\n\nSo, is it worth it?", "summary": "7 months, going to college on opposite sides of the U.S. gf wants to stay together, i am hesitant. The rest of the post is not well written."} {"id": "t3_1npjba", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17 M] want to finally ask the girl [17 F] I've been dating for the past month to be my girlfriend. I wasn't nervous until her friends said that I NEED to do something crazy romantic. I'm nervous and don't know what to do.", "post": "She knows I'm going to ask, because I told her I would ask very soon. But basically her friends are putting a ton of pressure on me to do something crazy and romantic.\n\nShe is absolutely amazing and I want to make it special, but I need some help. Her friends just keep telling stories about how their friends were asked out so they can't help. \n\nShe likes cheesy and romantic but I don't want to do cliche because I feel like she's better than just a cliche :)", "summary": "Need help asking the girl i'm dating to be my girlfriend, can't think of an idea that I think is perfect for her."} {"id": "t3_oey7u", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do I \"get into\" music?", "post": "Something that I felt has always set apart from my peers is that I generally don't listen to any music. I've never bought a CD, owned a CD player, stereo, or MP3 player. I've never been to concert or played an instrument. \n\nI'm not sheltered from any sort of music, but nothing ever seemed to jump out and hook me with any emotional or creative connection. I'm studying film and I have felt those sorts of feelings in regard to film and television. \n\nI'm prompted to ask this now because of a conversation I had with a newer friend of mine. I had never really thought that much about it until my friend asked me: \"Who's your favorite band?\" and I responded \"No one really.\" He followed up with \"I don't really listen to music.\" He responded to that incredulity and then went on a disappointed sounding rant about how shocked he was at that fact and how music is one of the most important things in his life and how I'm missing out because music provides inspiration to millions of people every day. Apparently, I'm a lost cause in his eyes because I asked him to recommend music to me and he has yet to do so. \n\nSo, I'm sure the simplest solution is: \"listen to music\", but I'm literally starting blind here, so I'd appreciate more detail. I am not exaggerating when I say I'm going in blind, I know very little about music besides the basic things people would learn by being in the real world.", "summary": "How did you get into music? How would you recommend I find my best fit for what kind of music I might like? I know nothing."} {"id": "t3_gth4j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend hides her body from me. We have sex with lights down or candles. It all makes me feel bad.", "post": "Hello Reddit, hope you are well on this fine day.\n\nI am male, 24, and my girlfriend is 23, going out for almost 3 years. She hides her body from me so I can only see her from the back and can't look at her naked. If we have a shower we have to have one candle so it's dark. And with sex I'm not really allowed to look at down below her breasts because she starts feeling self-conscious. \n\nShe says she feels fat, isn't happy with her body, etc and I'm as understanding as possible but it makes me feel really bad, like she's not sharing part of herself with me and that she doesn't trust me or something. It hurts a lot when I'll walk into the room and she'll turn away from me and hide her front.\n\nShe is going to the gym to lose weight (her choice, I am supporting her) and she is making progress but as with all weight loss it is gradual. I am worried it's in her head so even if she loses weight she will still 'feel' fat. She is not fat at all.", "summary": "Girlfriend feels fat and won't show herself to me, can't see her naked and have to have lights down during sex."} {"id": "t3_36gzj5", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By Showing My History Class Epic Rap Battles of History", "post": "So I'm doing year 11 history and I won a bet with my teacher that if our document analysis (an essay thingy) impressed him first time, we get to watch season 1-3 of ERB of History, Vader vs Hitler ofc, cause we're studying the Nazis...\nWell, I impressed, mainly cause I'm repeating the unit (by choice, I did it a year early and wanted more practice before doing year 12 history) and remembered how to write these really well.\nWhen I told everyone I'd make the bet, they all got really excited and encouraged me, then, when he watched...\nThe class was in utter silence, no laughs, heck, only the teacher, myself, and my mate next to me were smiling.\nClass thinks im some dork whos obsessed with nerdy youtube now, teacher said hes never making a bet with me again \nAND\nEvery bloody person just shakes their head at me \"dude, why would you even suggest those vids\"\n\nThe fuck up was real, and really embarrassing.", "summary": "Made a bet with teacher to watch Vader vs Hitler ERB. Won. Class was really awkward during watching and felt embarrased."} {"id": "t3_2lfmuv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I obtain commitment in a relationship?", "post": "Hi everyone. Hopefully someone can help me understand something about relationships, specifically obtaining commitment. \n\nA little background about me first I suppose\u2026I'm a young 26 year old guy. Was in the Marine Corps for 5 years, college grad, have a lot of close friends and family, even used to volunteer at a cat shelter. Many people would say I have a crap ton of self-confidence \u2013 although to be honest, I don't always feel like that. Overall, laid-back and easy to get along with. \n\nConsequently, women I care about in life do one of two things with me. Either hook up or be friends with me (to be totally transparent, both at the same time has occurred many times in my life). I must also make a note that I am still on excellent terms with most of them (go out on friend dates, have deep conversations about feelings, etcetera). \n\nSo, I don't necessarily need help talking to women or getting them to like me. What I want to understand is how to obtain a committed relationship. Is it that my age group is just career driven and I should wait? Is it that modern society is increasingly embracing individuality? Should I just sleep with a bunch of people and wait until something sticks? Commitment is what I want, but it has been so difficult, almost impossible. How do I do it? Anyone have [productive] advice?", "summary": "As a 26 y/o male with a good head on my shoulders, how do I get women to stop hooking up or being friends with me - instead be part of a committed relationship?"} {"id": "t3_43peyj", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should my traveling boyfriend and I adopt this dog?", "post": "My boyfriend and I (been together 2 years) are on a 6 week road trip. A week into our trip, we met a stray who was running across the highway in Arkansas. As far as we can tell, he didn't belong to anyone (no collar, not neutered, no microchip). We would have immediately left him at the Humane Society in Arkansas, but pretty much all of them were closed on the weekend. In a sudden decision, we decided to bring him with us, since it seemed like our only other option was putting him back on the road. \n\nWe had him for about 2 days and really enjoyed him. He was sweet, loving, had clearly been starving, and enjoyed being in the tent with us. Didn't seem leash-trained or potty-trained, but he didn't go in the car or the tent, so probably a young adult. He clearly became attached to us.\n\nWe decided to drop him off at an animal shelter in Denver yesterday, mostly because of the 5 weeks left on the road trip. Once we get back home, we know that we have many options for a loving family (ourselves, family, friends, etc.), but we just didn't know if we could handle a dog for 5 weeks of national parks, cities, etc, so we made the decision to drop him off.\n\nNow, the next day, we are both very sad and regretful. I'm scared of him being euthanized even though I think he's very adoptable, and while it was a pain to have a dog, he was also a blast. So-- should we pick him back up at the shelter before we leave Denver?\n\nPicture:", "summary": "We picked up a stray a week into a 6 week USA roadtrip and dropped him off a shelter. We're now considering going back and adopting him, but it could be a huge pain for the final 5 weeks of travel."} {"id": "t3_2jwquu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30F] broke up with ex fiance [32M] of 7years. Is it normal not to feel attracted to other men after a breakup? If so, how long before you regain attraction?", "post": "Is it normal not to feel attracted to other men after a breakup? If so how long before you regain attraction? \n\nI'm slightly concerned that I am not attracted to anyone of the opposite sex\u2014at all. Sounds weird, especially for my age, but I just experienced my first breakup and I was truly love with who I thought my ex was. Now the sight of another man\u2014even a good looking one\u2014doesn't do anything to me. If anything, I just compare them to ex and then start crying on the inside AGAIN.\n\nIt just doesn't make sense\u2026. my ex fianc\u00e9 wasn't a good guy, at least not at the end of our relationship. He used me, stole from, lied to me, manipulated me, cheated on me, completely broke me, ran away without explanation, and left me to do the dirty cleanup work. He led me on, wasted my time, and toyed with my emotions. \n\nPlease tell me these feeling are temporary! I want to move on with my life. I really do wish I could just cut those years out of my life.", "summary": "Broke up with ex. Is it normal not to feel attracted to other men after a breakup? I'm slightly concerned that I am not attracted to anyone of the opposite sex\u2014at all."} {"id": "t3_21we5w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20M] don't want my [20F] ex out of my life for good", "post": "Our relationship lasted 6 months, and it was going great until two weeks ago. \n\nShe decided that she wanted to be single and free, and make selfish decisions \n\nwithout regards to peoples feelings because shes going to europe at the start of \n\nmay. (her words). It broke my heart, and I broke down infront of her pleading not \n\nto leave me (I know, terrible mistake). \n\nI tried not to contact her, but she texted \n\nme a picture that we used to enjoy, and I ignored it. about a week later I got \n\ndrunk, and texted her about 5 times in a row saying my feelings, and how badly \n\nI miss her. We talked the next day about it, and she said I have been being a \n\ncomplete asshole to her, and she wants me out of her life, but I got some \n\nclosure and we ended civily. She said she didnt hate me, but the way I acted \n\npushed her to want me out of her life, I appologized and said I wouldnt contact \n\nher, but I do want to still stay in contanct. \n\nShe agreed. I thought that was that \n\nbut today(2 days later) she unfriended me off facebook randomly. That hurt alot, \n\nand she already broke my heart since I feel the breakup was my fault. I don't \n\nknow what to do I have thought about her everyday for two weeks, and I really \n\ndid want to stay friends during the summer, and maybe rekindle it in the fall, but \n\nnow I'm having a hard time accepting that she wants me gone forever. Thanks I \n\njust needed to get this out, im not sure what advice anybody can give.", "summary": "My ex broke up with me for no reason, I apparently was an ass, she deleted me out of her life."} {"id": "t3_4qgyfc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28F] with my boyfriend?[30 M] of 6 months, met online, but haven't met in person yet. He's coming to visit and I'm nervous.", "post": "Hello everyone, I will keep this pretty short. \n\nI met this guy online through a game that I play on my phone. It started out platonic through a chat group for our alliance but progressed from there. We really hit it off and clicked. We live in different countries, about 3000 miles apart. \n\nHe's a pretty incredible guy, very smart, motivated and driven. He makes me feel loved, special and wanted which is something I didn't have in my last long term relationship. I absolutely love this man. \n\nThat being said, we haven't met in person yet. We talk all day every day via text. Usually call each other once or twice a day, and facetime when we can. I am not worried about him being someone other than he says.\n\nHe is currently on contract with his job, but that ends the second week of July. He is coming to visit me for two weeks once his contract is over. \n\nWe connect extremely well on an emotional and intellectual level. We want the same things, have very good communication (since it's all we have right now) and speak very openly about the future. \n\nThat being said, I'm nervous for when he comes to visit. I am so worried that we won't connect the same way on a physical level and that would be devastating to me. What if he doesn't like me as much in person? What if he isn't as attracted to me once he sees me every day for awhile? I would say that I'm a fairly attractive girl, not a bombshell or anything, but I do struggle with my self image and confidence so I get worried about these types of things. \n\nHas anyone else experienced this? How was the transition going from only talking to being able to spend time together?", "summary": "Long distance boyfriend? (I don't know if that's the right word) is coming to visit for the first time and I am worried I won't live up to his expectations and he won't like me as much in person."} {"id": "t3_2hegqu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Can I (23 M) go ahead and ask the \"other girl\" (25 F) out after my breakup?", "post": "I recently got out of a two year relationship with my ex. Our relationship wasn't so great. I had somewhat of an emotional affair with a woman at my office, and while we never became physically intimate, I talked with her about everything, in ways I probably shouldn't when I was in a relationship.\n\nAnyways, my girlfriend and I broke up with her 5 days ago, but we've been separated for like a month. She wanted to take a month break, I assumed she was hooking up with another guy (and she did) so I told her the break was permanent.\n\nWould it be in poor form to try and start officially dating this other girl? I feel like I have to make my move fast, I know another one of our co-workers has a crush on her, and I don't want to give her any reason to agree to go on a date with him (I don't want him asking her out to lunch or anything). We're pretty much together every day since I broke up the ex, and we hooked up 2 days ago for the first time.", "summary": "Just ended a relationship a week ago (although technically we were on break for a month). Is it okay for me to make it official (telling everyone)?"} {"id": "t3_27uvcw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Update] Me 22/F I have issues asking someone if they're interested in me.", "post": "Original story: \n\nI was hoping to have a different update than this but here it goes. Backstory of this point in time: I sometimes see my dating interest but since this is the last week of classes, next week being finals week, I have this amount of time to see him and tell how I feel. Well, I haven't been able to run into him yet this week. I hope to run into him, if not then well, I have to wait for him to text me first. Ironic timing, my cell service is dead until I can get more service, which might not be for a while. Awesome. \nNow here comes the plot twist...\nToday, there was a guy who is one of my roommate's friends that asked me on a date. For the record...holy mother of god, that was totally not expected. This guy I've only hung out with him 3 times and he's closer to my age (he's 21). He's cool but I'm not sure if he's dating material for me. It's not that he's not attractive, he's attractive in his own way, I don't feel as connected with him as much as the interest. But I wouldn't mind going on date with him for the sake of being single. However, I have to go out of town this weekend so I can't make the date anyway, and now I have no way of telling him that I can't make it. Double awesome. So now what? I'm kind of stuck. This has never happened before.\n\nOne last thing: The last time I saw my crush\nwas last week before I posted. I was waiting for the bus talking with roommate's friend. The second he says hey how's it going, Que the crush. He kind of butts in on the conversation but not in a rude way. Then Friend leaves after that. My crush asks: who's the guy? I told him that he is a friend. He looked at him with a weird face as friend left then kind of stayed quiet till parting ways.", "summary": "Plot twist-guy who I dunno asks me out on date that I cannot attend to even though I was planning to tell the dating interesting that I liked him. Help."} {"id": "t3_30uffv", "subreddit": "self", "title": "I'm getting scammed but I'm not sure in what way", "post": "Found a posting on craigslist about a family moving from France to my city and are looking for a highly qualified baby sitter.\n\nHave been emailing back and forth and they said they will arrive on so and so date.\n\nThey requested pictures of me to see what I look like after I got the 'job.'\n\nThey sent a picture of their family. It looked super sketchy. \n\nThey sent a check via USPS for $3,500 and $400 of that was my first check. The rest was to purchase supplies such as a crib, stroller, basically everything the kid needed that they couldn't bring with them. \n\nThe dad said he was moving to my city to help study combustion engines for the EPA? Really odd.\n\nThe dad did all the emailing, never would talk on phone or Skype although I never requested. \n\nThe check/package was being tracked online and was sent two-day and said it arrived but never did. Called USPS and said they must have lost it.\n\n10+ days later it shows up. It looks fake. \n\nCall the bank it's issued from and they said it's fraudulent.\n\nWhat are these scammers trying to get?\n\nBy the way this all happened to my girlfriend and not me. She says she doesn't believe she gave them any more info beside name, address and photos. I hope she didn't give her SS Number.\n\nWhat do you guys think?", "summary": "Got sent a fake check for $3,500 to buy supplies for a fake job. What are they scamming me on?"} {"id": "t3_4ujcxt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [35 F] husband [36 M] of 5 years, together for 10 years says he is thinking about leaving me", "post": "My husband and I have been together since college. We fell in love quickly, move in together after graduation, and then got married 5 years ago. \n\nI thought we lived a really comfortable life, and I'm not going to lie, after getting married I stopped going to the gym as much and grew a little complacent. Our sex life decreased quite a bit and I gained about 40 pounds, but I thought that was common with all married couples. My husband on the other time, maintained his physique from college, and he always had a high sex drive, so it was tough to keep up with that. \n\nMy husband talked to me yesterday and told me he is moving out the end of the month. He wants a separation and then going on to have a divorce. He says that we have grown apart, I have gained weight, and he wants to see someone who will make him happy. \n\nCan anyone give me advice as to what I can do? He said he wouldn't pursue the divorce till the end of the year, but wanted to live separately starting the end of the month. Anyone ever been in a situation like this and then save their marriage?", "summary": "Husband wants to go for a separation and then pursue a divorce by the end of the year. How can I save my marriage?"} {"id": "t3_oq89h", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My bro is being bullied for no reason, and we are not sure how to handle this. Reddit, I need your advice.", "post": "So this all started earlier last month when my bro came home in quite the sour mood. This past week, he was furious. This is his first year in public high school, and we thought he was really liking it, but over time it has become apparent that kids there are making it hard for him to fit in. By kids, I mean specifically those on the wrestling team. He joined because he wanted to be a part of the sport and try something new. According to my mom, the kids have been excluding him from practicing in their groups, and making fun of him for practicing with a disabled kid on the team (since there is no one else to practice with because he is being excluded). \n\nThen this week comes. Some group of kids started asking him his nationality. He gave the right answer and said American, but they persisted. Finally he said Israeli (because our ancestors are from that region). Just so happens one of the kids is Muslim, and started arguing with him about his belief on who has claim to the land. Honestly, there is no reason to go into the Israel-Palistinian conflict, so please leave that part out of the responses. I know a majority of Reddit is pro Palestinian, but I am sorry to inform you our belief is not that. My bro is not looking to start a fight with any of these guys, but when he came home this past week he said he was ready to knock one of them pretty hard. \n\nReddit, what are your suggestions/advice? I am really trying to find out what to do before thing escalate to something horrible. At this moment, my mom is going to talk to the coach to see what he can do, but if I know coaches, they usually don't do shit except yell at the bullies once. That, in turn, gives the kids another reason to pick on the kid being bullied.", "summary": "My bro is being picked on for no reason by the wrestling team he is on, and I want to know how to handle it before things get out of hand."} {"id": "t3_1k41b6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[24/m] I sometimes get upset when my girlfriend [22/f] isn't in the mood. How can I control it?", "post": "The other day, my girlfriend and I were making out and grinding near the pool. She came, but lost interest after and said that maybe we would try again later. When she wasn't in the mood later, I got upset and felt personally rejected. I said some things implying that I expected us to have sex after what we started in the pool. It was a guilt trip, and I feel terrible about it\n\nThis started a big argument about how I made her feel pressured to have sex and I crossed her personal boundaries. I've never touched her inappropriately, but she said the things I was saying reminded her of her ex-boyfriend who tried to rape her.\n\nWe live together, but today she said she feels uncomfortable around me and wanted me to leave for the weekend. \n\nI'm sitting in a motel room writing this because she doesn't deserve to feel that way. I'd never want to make her feel uncomfortable. I love her and I want to be with her the rest of my life.\n\nHow can I make it up to her and keep this from happening in the future?", "summary": "My girlfriend feels pressured by me when I get upset that she's not in the mood. What can I do to make her feel comfortable and prevent this from happening in the future."} {"id": "t3_3onmp5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Gf [18F] broke-up with me [19M] She went away for college and felt the communication was lacking.", "post": "Okay, she's heading to college. She goes to college, its about 8-9 hours away by car. We talk a few and miss each other. Everything is going good. 10 months in all is good, my first relationship too.\n\nOne day, we're skyping and she's telling how she thinks that some guy like her, I joke around and she says its serious and that I should do something about it. I tell her to avoid him. few minutes pass, she sees the guy, he comes up and kisses her on the cheek. I go berserk, mad that she didn't bother to move or avoid it. I was infuriated, I said things I shouldnt have said. Saying she didnt see it. And from that, I started talking to her less and avoiding her calls/skype. She kept wanting to see me but I was a afraid that it might happen again. Doubts began to fill my head, is she cheating? is she being reckless? etc etc. It was eating me alive. It came to the point where convos became dry. I started coming to my senses and wanted to surprise her for our first kiss anniversary. But before I could she called, i picked up and she said she couldnt do it. The distance from me and lack of communication was giving her a breakdown. I was learning how to program and use photoshop to make something nice for her, but now I don't know what to do.\n\nevery time we a have a argument, we talk it through and come to our senses. But this one, I acted too slow and now I want her back. She tells me that I should of tried when she tried. She wants time away from me but wants to maintain our friendship. I can't keep up with that.", "summary": "We skyped, some dude that likes her kisses her check, i go berserk and ignore her for a few and she breaks up with me."} {"id": "t3_qrn7d", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "BofA \"upgraded\" my credit card and changed the account number without my consent. Anyone else have this experience and really annoyed by it?", "post": "I received an email from BofA stating that my credit card account number was changed and to call customer service to find out why. My initial though was fraud so I logged into my online account and noticed that my credit card service had changed, so I called customer service. The customer service rep told me that a few months ago I was sent a package regarding my credit card being \"upgraded\" and in order to deny the upgrade I had to mail back the package saying that I didn't want the upgrade. So basically, my absence of consent to the upgrade was actually a consent to upgrade the card. At this point, even if I change my card back to the old service, my account number is forever changed. I will need to log into any websites that automatically charge my BofA credit card and update it with new information. Anyone else have this done to them? Is this really legal and if so, is this really common amongst banks to do this? \n\nTo clarify, I'm waiting to get the card and ToS to see if the bank is really trying to screw me or if this really is a beneficial \"upgrade\" to my services.", "summary": "I didn't deny a credit card upgrade via mail and therefore was upgraded to a new credit card and account number. My absence of consent equated to consent."} {"id": "t3_3d3tup", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27M] rekindled a friendship with my Ex-gf [20F] of 1 year after 6mos NC. Now I want to go NC again, amicably. Is this possible?", "post": "We fell hard and tried to make a relationship work through difficult odds. Age, LDR, etc. After about a year, we were fighting and stressed and it wasn't a healthy situation. I still cared for her deeply when I broke up with her. \n\nWe remained friends at first, but that was strained so we went NC. No discussion really, mutual understanding after some deep talks. \n\nAfter about 6 months of NC she reached out to confront me after hearing I may have cheated on her. I told her I didn't, (true) and she knows I'm telling the truth. We strike up a conversation and actually warm to each other. We've been friendly for the last 3 months now. Ironically enough she lives less than a mile from me now.\n\nHere's my problem: this friendship is striking up feelings for her that I don't want to follow up on. It's like having a crush, but I do not want to, or have any intention of attempting another relationship at this point. We are friends, and I care for her deeply, but it's starting to affect me poorly.\n\nShould I tell her how I feel and why I want to disconnect? Or should I just let the relationship fade naturally? Any experience/advice is appreciated.", "summary": "Went NC with ex-GF, became friends again, now I want to go NC as amicably as possible. What do?"} {"id": "t3_3mo7s3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] feel like cheating on my current BF [22 ] of 2 years and I'm feeling conflicted.", "post": "before everyone starts judging me and hating on me please help me. I don't want to hurt his feelings, I love him very much and I see myself spending the rest of my life with him. \n\nThere is only one problem, he is the only man I've ever been with. I was a virgin when I met him and he is the only person who has ever fuked me (he is pretty good). I just can't help and wonder sometimes what other men are like? Did I fully experience my own sexuality ? Is there more to pleasure and all those mind blowing orgasms? In fact, I orgasm in my sleep thinking of other women and men...\n\nI sort of hinted a threesome with a girl and a guy but he does not want any threesomes whatsoever! Also, he is not into sex as much I am, sometimes it seems to me that he'd rather masturbate than have me. What do I do ? I feel like I'm slowly losing my sexual attraction towards him...all these feelings combined make me want to secretly get a sexual partner to satisfy my need but of course continue dating him. I know this sounds terrible, I just love him so much and I don't know how to approach this issue since I don't want to hurt his feelings and I need my sexual desires satisfied. He makes me feel unwanted and unattractive (im pretty decent looking tho ;) ) . In addition to that, I want to see what other men are like in bed, I'm very curious... And no porn doesn't cut it, I wants real life actions", "summary": "Curious about other men's dicks tha I'd like to fuk but I have a bf whom I love and I can't risk losing him. Please help!"} {"id": "t3_4tkp34", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Reconnected with an Ex-GF of mine after 5 years.", "post": "So, when I was 22 years old I met a foreign exchange student who was from Ukraine. She came to the States to work for the summer and get some job experience overseas, something her college encouraged doing I suppose.\n\n Regardless, I liked her, she liked me and we hit it off. She eventually left to go back to Ukraine 3 months later, and we continued to talk but at some point she never replied back to me. I got the hint and did my best to let her go, as tough as it was. \n\nI'm not naive, I understand it was a summer fling and that it wasn't meant to last. However a few days ago, I was extremely melancholy and I had a bit too much to drink as well. I signed into the email I used when she and I would write back and forth to each other and I read all the letters we wrote. \n\nThis is the part I wanted to share, I sent her an email, now I didn't expect to get a reply of course. I was just melancholy about our relationship, and alcohol tends to make a man reminisce. \n\n She replied. And basically said things along the lines that she was young and regrets hurting me. She realizes what she did and that I was her first love, her true love. That she wanted to continue to write to each other if that was OK with me, I haven't spoken to her in 5 years and I didn't expect to get a response from her.\n\n Now I'm opening up old wounds and I don't know how to handle this situation, I realize I brought this upon myself but what can I do? I certainly didn't expect this sort of response from her, if any at all. How should I handle this? I definitely still have feelings for her, but I am not a fool to assume anything could come of it.", "summary": "Summer love with Exchange student from ukraine, got drunk and emailed her after not talking for a while, she replied, don't know what to think."} {"id": "t3_1enp7x", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My mom [50/F] hates my sister-in-law [24/F]...", "post": "It all started when my brother and sister-in-law began dating over six years ago. Initially, she didn't know what she wanted and really led him on. They dated and broke up several times. She dated his best friend, dated other guys, and didn't talk to him for long spans of times during which they were broken up. \n\nEventually, they both got over this, figured out what they wanted, and dated for another few years. During this time, they both moved across the country from both families and pursued challenging careers that pushed them to strengthen their relationships. About a year and a half ago, they got married. Obviously, my brother has gotten over all of the issues they had. My mom didn't.\n\nMy mom is so negative towards my sister in law, and any time her name is brought up, she always speaks in an accusatory tone. We'll call my brother Kevin and my sister in law Janette. My mother will say things like, \"Kevin moved because of her. He would have stayed closer, but she made him more\" or \"Janette must hate children, and she is forcing him not to have any\" or even things as petty as \"She likes her parents better than us and that's why they won't stay at our house during the holidays.\" \n\nI like my sister-in-law. I respect her, and I feel like my mother needs to accept the fact that they are married and act with each other first in the other person's mind. Every time I defend her, my mother responds with another negative comment. If I defend her more, my mother will either a) get more upset or b) give me the silent treatment.\n\nI hate hearing someone I respect being verbally antagonized without even being given the chance to defend herself (considering she lives far away). Despite telling my mother that I don't like hearing such comments, she continues. \n\nShould I continue to step in and defend her or should I pursue another course of action? I don't know how to deal with this situation. Help?", "summary": "My mother constantly belittles my sister-in-law who cannot defend herself. She becomes more upset when I defend her or present a different opinion. How should I handle this situation?"} {"id": "t3_qeh9d", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Adderall users of reddit: How the hell do you people fall asleep?!", "post": "I've been using Adderall relatively infrequently to help with my studies for the past 2 years, and while it makes a world of difference, I can never fall asleep at night regardless of what time I took it. Perfect example: yesterday I took 1 30mg XR at 1:00 PM, waited for it to kick in, and studied until about 1 or 2 AM when I finally felt confident that I was prepared for my exam. Now, it's 9:25, I still haven't fallen asleep yet, and my exam is in 40 minutes. Is there some kind of secret as to how to avoid this that doesn't involve not doing it?", "summary": "Adderall helps me a lot with schoolwork, but it makes me an insomniac. Is there a secret that could help me sleep?"} {"id": "t3_1wtypg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25/F] best friend [27/F] is in an abusive relationship, how do I be the most supportive friend?", "post": "They live together, it's a relationship that moved too quickly (mostly his doing). They've been separated by the police once and are moving through court stuff. Until the court stuff is finalized the social worker/councillor can't see them together for his anger issues. As far as I know the abuse has been 98% not physical. The one time it was she called the police. \n\nwhen she called the police she said it's over, I stayed with for a couple days and then her sister took over. When she said she's going to try again with him I said I'm out. I can't ever be around him, he can't exist in my life. \n\nThe other night after a few drinks she spilled, it's not any different then before. In fact it sounds worse. She expressed some feelings that sounds similar to depression. She isn't perfect, I could see how they bring out the very worst in each other but for now what i worry about most is her getting out of this relationship. \n\nI'm struggling to find my balance of being in a place where I'm not being her therapist (a role I struggle not to take on in general), being there for her but not around him. I don't want to be caught in a cycle where I help her break up with him multiple times, but I don't want her to be alone. Maybe I'm being selfish.. I want to make identifying that she should leave him and the action of leaving him easier, but I don't want to make being with him easier.", "summary": "Best friend is with a mostly emotional/psychologically abusive guy, I want to be for her the best I can be without making staying with him easier"} {"id": "t3_35fhx2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24,F] boyfriend [26] of almost a year very rarely kisses me... should I be concerned?", "post": "Yes, we have talked about it. He will give me quick pecks no problem, but we have never, ever \"made out\". Kissing is super intimate for me and I can never get him to do it longer than 3 or 4 seconds before he is trying to get away. \n\nHe claims (and I believe him) that he has a deviated septum and it makes it hard for him to breathe when kissing me, and that he finds kissing to be a bit unnatural and weird anyways.\n\nDoes this seem legitimate or like something I should push? He is very introverted and not very intimate anyways, so it just sucks that I can't even really make out with him. Maybe I'm being childish... but that's why I'm asking y'all. Thanks!", "summary": "My boyfriend doesn't kiss me often or for very long because he doesn't like it, but I do. Should I be concerned?"} {"id": "t3_xfcqj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I want to be a sex slave normal?", "post": "I'm a southern black female, and I've always wanted to be a sex slave. Not the simple \"Do what I say, slave, or I'll smack that ass\" but \"Do what your master says, or I'll have to whip you[etc.]\"(not a leather whip, there are gentle ones you can buy). I know the \"Sex slave fetish\" isn't out of the norm, but I'm black, and I've only ever dated white males, I only know one guy comfortable with actually doing it. I'm totally comfortable in my skin, I have nothing against my own race. I just really like history, and the fact that white men had hot erotic affairs with their slaves turns me on. I want to go all out, attire acting(but the sex will be real <3).Is it normal that I regularly fantasize about this?", "summary": "I'm a black female in the south, comfortable with my race and sexuality and I want to be a sex slave to a white partner. Is this normal/okay?"} {"id": "t3_er1r1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, why do you love Julian Assange?", "post": "I know that freedom of speech and press is important. As I member of the United States military, I am completely aware of the freedoms that this great country allows us to have, and how important it is to defend those rights. However, I don't understand why people, especially the people of Reddit it seems, love this guy so much. He wanted information to be free to everyone, which is indeed a noble cause. But not all information ought to be free, I can promise you that. What he did, if I am not mistaken, was simply release a large amount of information, some of which was considered confidential or classified. Bottom line is that he released information that the United States information did not want released. Through one method or another, he stole from the United States government. I'm not saying that some of the information was not important to the people, because I do belief that the government has imperfections. Some of that information ought to be released by the government. But it wasn't. I know some of you think that all information ought to be free, but I'm telling you that just isn't possible. Releasing information like that was extremely naive, as it could potentially harm the relationships between countries. Some information just isn't meant for the public. We elect leaders for a reason. We elect them to lead the people and make important decisions. By electing them, we are handing over some of our power to them. In this case, the government. A world in which all information is free for anyone is a Utopia that just doesn't exist. Not everyone in this world is good. Information can be used for evil, not good. Because this is the case, governments have to classify some information, for the good of the people. Are they always right about which information they classify? No. But stealing from the government and releasing mass amounts of informations is just foolish and dangerous.", "summary": "Complete freedom of speech is not possible nor practical, what Assange did does not make him a saint, it makes him naive and a criminal of sorts."} {"id": "t3_2g235i", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by laughing at the worst time", "post": "This actually goes back to the first day of classes at my high school. Basically, one of the teachers died over the summer, and as a tribute they made a slideshow-esque video to commemorate her. With the video, they played one of her favorite songs, Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. The first class we went to was Modern History. Anyway, I was talking with my friends, K & C. We're at the back of the class, so I basically could get away with talking with them all I want. One of them mentions a horrible american idol audition (Keith doing Like a Virgin) video, which I've never seen. So K flips out his phone and shows me the video (through earbuds). Here comes the fuckup. I ended up laughing really fucking hard from that video, like out loud in class. I turn around, and of course the teacher's standing right there. Apparently, whilst distracted, she was talking about said hawaiian singer. So there I am with this huge grin on my face, staring right into her eyes. What made this worst is that she happened to be mentioning that the guy died of obesity as I was laughing my dick off. From her view, I was laughing with this fucking stupid smile on my face as she informed us of a hawaiian singer who died of obesity. This was in 9th grade, so she expected us to be as immature as fuck. Wanna know who the teacher was? The fucking dean of students. Needless to say, that was the last time I ever got sent home for fucking around.", "summary": "laughed my ass off as the dean of students told us about Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's death from obesity, nearly suspended."} {"id": "t3_1moshk", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "How do you break the awkwardness with someone?", "post": "There's this guy in my class who I've taken interest in over time but it seems like things are just getting more and more awkward. He sits across from me in class but we don't talk. During our lecture, I can see that he stares a lot. Im assuming at me since theres only guys around where i sit so i dont think hes staring at them. I get nervous when I'm being stared at so I pretend I don't notice. \n\nAt first, when he would walk by me in lab, he would look me right in the eyes. Now, he passes by really close but he looks down. At first, my instinctive reaction was to ignore him and act indifferent because I'm so shy so he would stare more and act more confident. I started to show more interest because I think I made a previous crush hate me because I would act indifferent towards him. So I dont stare during the lecture but I glance at him more often during our lab. When he looks at me, I quickly look down. Also, he's around where I am a lot of the time. He passes by through where I am, even if the other way is simpler. And he puts his things like his binder ( in which he wrote his schedule on) closer to my side of the table. \n\n He's not a shy guy. I hear him talk to his lab partner and he talks alot. He's quite interesting. I'd like to talk to him but I don't know what to say. I have no excuse to talk to him. In the class, everyone pretty much talks to each other but I just can't talk to this guy. So it seems like I have entered that vicious cycle once again, where no one talks, we just glance at each other and sulk in our awkwardness and nothing happens. How do I break out of that when it feels so awkward?", "summary": "I am interested in a guy and I'm so shy so I don't talk to him. We just glance at eachother and things get more and more awkward by the day."} {"id": "t3_54hvd3", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Gifts for attendants", "post": "It's getting close and I'm taking the time now to freak out a little over minor details. We are having a super casual wedding with 83 expected guests (we're spending less than 3000 including venue/food/rings) and we both have attendants. I got my bridesmaids either a diamond candle or piece of jewelry and some Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin bath & body works lotion, lip gloss, and Lovespell perfume from VS. The groomsmen/women are getting really nice knives. Flower girls/junior bridesmaid are each getting a toy. They're all taken care of.\n\nThe person I am at a loss for a gift is my aunt. She is coming to the wedding as a guest and is taking photos at our request (the reason being that we can't afford to shell out the cash for a professional photographer because I am unemployed and we are moving to another state the weekend after the wedding) and my aunt enjoys taking pictures as a hobby. She has a really nice DSLR, and the photos that she took at my sister's wedding are better than the ones that the professional took.", "summary": "my aunt is acting as photographer and will not let us pay her. I'm inviting her and her family to the rehearsal dinner, and I'm thinking a nice bottle of wine. What else would you suggest?"} {"id": "t3_2lkjbs", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "21 Year old Male Being financially crippled from past mistakes and choices. What are my options?(UK)", "post": "Hi financial people of reddit!\nI am am 21 year old male living with parents in the UK. I work full time, and I also work on sundays in a pub. Sounds great right? \u00a312000 is roughly the amount of debt I am currently in. I earn \u00a314000 a year. however my outgoings are around \u00a31200 a month, that more than I earn after tax. My loans are too much, I have 3 credit cards. And I have had to resort to 4 payday loans, and i have a personal bank loan of \u00a34500 (I have paid 1000 off over the past year). \n\nSo heres what I have done so far; I have cut all my cards up about 2 months ago. I have really tried bnot to gamble (one of my problems before) I dont get any food at home form parents, but I have tried not to buy anything to eat. My paretns are well off by the way, but they simply don't care, I just live under the roof, we dont get on great and I owe them money too, (total debt is probably about 17000 if you include them).\n\nI am a strong minded guy, I dont go out and drink, and I dont know how the F*** im in this situation. I wish they taught stuff like this at school How NOT to fuck it up at an early age. I am breaking down, really dont know what to do in this endless spiral. I cant even afford to fill my car up to get to work now.\n\nWhat can I do guys? Get one of those companies to write off my loan? what will that mean? Will I be able to buy a house in the future? what are my other options? I have already applied for night work, but no luck there, Just stuck with my 8-18:30 job then behind a bar on sundays.", "summary": "IN 12k debt, need help to get out as im struggling day to day, my job isnt enough what do I do? (and to top it off I hate my job!)"} {"id": "t3_uhh48", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "What now? (120lbs down, and out)", "post": "I believe that it's proper reddiquette to announce I'm on a throwaway account. This of course is due to the large amount of redditor friends that I have. Anyway, I'm down 120lbs (310 to 190) since this time last year, and I'm starting to get to the point where I felt more comfortable as a fat guy. I've been fat my whole life, ever since I was a kid, and right now I weigh less than I did when I was 12 (I'm 28 now). My point is, I'm used to being fat, and getting looks for it, but now people are looking at me for a different reason. \n\nHere's my problem, I can't see bringing anybody home to this. I look better, loads better in fact, but really only when I am clothed. As soon as I strip you would see my deflated tits, love handles, and a tummy that looks like I tried to break the octomoms record. I have been lifting weights for the last few months, and I am definitively seeing improvements in my muscle mass, and strength. I'm doing pull ups for the first time in my life (remember, I was a fat kid too), and very legit push ups too. \n\nIt sucks improving so much, and still feeling like a fat piece of shit. I know that I don't have very much more to lose, but I feel like my body is beyond repairable. I'll be able to get it better than it was, obviously, but I feel like I'll never look normal. \n\nSo here is my question reddit; What can I do about the lose skin on the back of my legs, the spare tire that could fit a semi truck, the remainder of my man boobs, the gobble that formed out of my chins, what I can only assume is a 90 year old mans ass? Is there any hope, or should I just learn to deal with this just as I did being fat?", "summary": "I've lost 120lbs, and I feel even worse about my appearance than I did before. Also, I need help with the aftermath of losing so much weight so fast."} {"id": "t3_1y12h5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my Girlfriend [27 F] of 5 years, I feel like our relationship is crumbling", "post": "I've been in a relationship for 5 years, we just celebrated our anniversary last month. I love her or I know I did love her. We've been living together for 4 years now. \n\nI feel like everything is put on me, always. Rent, gas, electric, cable, and any other bill. She doesn't have her license and has never even had her permit we are both almost 30 years old and I have to drive her everywhere. \n\nI think I blame her for everything just as a way to cope with my crushing feeling of never being able to escape from my situation.", "summary": "I feel like I blame my gf for everything since I'm the carry the financial burden of the relationship, What can we do?"} {"id": "t3_1yudmr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [21M] and I [M22] just broke up and I need some advice.", "post": "So my boyfriend and I just broke up recently and I am pretty broken up about it. We had been together for almost 2 years and we moved into a house for university together. We still live in the same house but this is not the problem. We mutually agreed on staying very close friends and this I am incredibly happy for. We had some really truly good times together but it just didn't seem to work out.\n\nMy question is if anyone has any advice for moving on from this situation. I know he will never be mine because he said I am too much of a \"square\" (his words) and he is more spontaneous. I totally agree with him here. I think the reason why I liked him so much was because he was so outgoing and he started to rub off on me. But we need to move on from this. I have trouble opening up to people and right now I am convinced that I will not be able to do it again. This is my first breakup and I was hoping someone here might be able to give me some coping techniques.", "summary": "My boyfriend and I broke up and I am having some trouble coping. Does anyone know anything that they find helpful when going through a breakup?"} {"id": "t3_2m3qlp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] not sure if/how to tell my SO [21F] of almost 3 years that I have been smoking cigarettes behind her back for over 1 year.", "post": "Names changed for obvious reasons. I have been dating Julie for three years. We met in high school, and pretty much kicked it off right away. Went to prom together, family vacations together, etc. I love her like I've never loved any of my past girlfriends and I'm certain we'll get married. \n\nWe have been in a long distance relationship while we both study at university. It's been great, but has had minor issues regarding time conflictions, but nothing that really worries either of us.\n\nI started smoking cigarettes during the summer of last year without Julie's knowing. I figured it would be a short thing and didn't expect it to go on this long. Maybe I was stressed, maybe I just wanted to try it.\n\nBut ever since I have started, I've wanted them out of my life. Julie comes from a traditional Christian family. Her father abuses alcohol and she is mostly against alcohol and other drugs. Especially cigarettes, because who actually likes those things? Aside from smokers like myself...\n\nI am not sure whether to tell her about my addiction. I never smoke around her, or even when I am home for the summer, vacations, or when we are visiting each other. I feel like if I told her, it would make it much easier to quit. But I have no idea what sort of impact that would have on our relationship. She has asked me about it, and I have explicitly lied that I do not smoke. She knows my friends all do.\n\nI have subscribed to r/stopsmoking, and even tried the patch and electric cigarettes. I know I can do it if I put my brain to it, I just don't know whether or not to tell Julie about it.", "summary": "I want to quit smoking, but not sure whether to tell my girlfriend I have been lying to her for a large part of our relationship in the process."} {"id": "t3_zwz90", "subreddit": "needadvice", "title": "Need Advice About Live-In Girlfriends", "post": "I have two room mates, and they both have girlfriends who they are very committed to. They're in the type of relationship I refer to as \"might as well be married\". I've lived in our 3 bedroom house for about two years. One of my room mates moved in a couple months ago, and her girlfriend is over EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I think since my other room mate noticed this she's decided it's ok for her girlfriend to also be over every. single. night. AND DAY. I pretty much have four room mates now. We all get along extraordinarily well, however they are always acting so god damn couple-y all the time to the point where I feel like the 5th wheel on a double date whenever I'm home. Have any of you ever been in a situation like this? How should I handle it? It's starting to get extremely annoying feeling like I live with two married couples but I don't know what to say, if anything, without sounding like a bitch. I don't want something like this to affect our friendships but it's really getting to the point where I just can't stand it anymore. One of the couples has talked about moving in together somewhere else, but they haven't made much of an effort at all. I don't want to move because I love this house and it's amazingly affordable for what it is. Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance.", "summary": "both of my room mates' girlfriends basically moved in and now I feel like a 5th wheel every single day. What can I do/say without being too confrontational?"} {"id": "t3_1081zp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(m24) think my newish gf(24) only wants me for sex", "post": "My gf(24) if she can be called that anymore have been together bf(24) for 4 months. I have been friends with her for atleast 14 years and only hooked up with her when we both confessed we have had crushes on each other. Dont get me wrong I love sex she is by far the best I've ever had but all she wants to do is have sex and when Im not around she doesnt seem to want to talk to me or return my texts/calls. Before we did it the first time, she was amazing she was always there for me always a shoulder to lean on. Now she rushes me off the phone or doesnt return my texts unless she knows I'm around long enough to take care of her. Now Ive told her that I dont mind being friends with benefits, but she needs to stop leading me on with saying that she loves me and doesnt want anyone else. Also she flips when I hang out with other girls but again never changes her ways. I really do love her and have always figured she would be the one for me even when we were just close friends, and goddam I enjoy the sex (shes fucking amazing and way out of my league in looks and ability). Basically I just need to know what should I do.", "summary": "New gf(24)/old friend only wants to have sex but doesnt want me(24) to see other people or be with her unless we are fucking. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_3g08tt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Please help. I (20F) just saw my recent ex (20M) on tinder and my heart is breaking all over again.", "post": "Okay, I know what you'll probably say about tinder, but I'm honestly just on there because I want to meet people who I may get along with. Anyway, I was swiping through and saw my ex's pic come up. We've been broken up for a month, and I certainly don't want to date him again, but my heart is freaking out right now. He was never on tinder while we were dating as far as I know, and I feel almost personally attacked by this (dumb, I know). Basically my head is running in circles right now. Please help me get back to a good place, I feel like I might try to do something stupid right now. How do I get my fire back so I can focus on the day?", "summary": "Saw my ex on tinder, and now my heart is aching like it did a month ago when we broke up. My head is reeling and I need your help to calm down. "} {"id": "t3_4xmmfh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22F] have been dating this guy [23M] for about 4 months. Things are fine, except he's REALLY annoying.", "post": "I can list tons of positive traits about him, but predictably, I feel that the honeymoon period is at an end and there's some things that I'm not as happy to overlook anymore. Insights would be greatly appreciated. \n\nBasically, he's annoying. Like a child might be annoying. We'll be siting on the couch watching the olympics and he decides it's funny to put his cold beer can against my leg until he gets a rise out of me...then he keeps doing it. I ask tell him to stop, and he laughs and keeps doing it. \n\nHe sometimes decides it's funny to tickle me. Not just once in a while, not because he knows I like it, but rather because he knows it annoys me and because he thinks it's funny when I tell him I don't appreciate it. \n\nI haven't really run into this problem before. I have talked to him about it, and it seems like he just doesn't understand how much I don't appreciate this behavior. I'm not sure how to be much clearer. Have any of you experienced this before, either as giver or receiver of annoying, childish behavior from someone who's objectively not a child? What am I missing? Is this a matter of incompatible senses of humor? I'm all ears/eyes for insights.", "summary": "my boyfriend of 4 months had the same sense of annoying humor as my 7 year old cousin and it's becoming a deal breaker. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_11tax0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "would you move back to a state with really high unemployment rate for a mediocre job offer to be able to afford housing, or take a huge risk and live paycheck to paycheck in a state with an average unemployment rate?", "post": "i've been offered a job with my current employer in a state with a pretty bad unemployment rate (10.8%). the job im offered pays decently enough for that state (slightly more than i'm making now) and i do have a few friends/contacts there. the hours will be shitty after a few months, and it's not in a line of business that i want to pursue for good. i'd take it because its safe and guarantees enough to pay rent and bills for a year.\n\nmy other alternative is to take a chance on an interview i have next week for another position with the same company. unknown salary range. it is located in the state i'm in now, which has an ok unemployment rate (8.9%). also not in a line of business that i want to pursue for good, but has a decent schedule. i know very few people in this state, and if i elect to pursue this interview, i must forfeit the previous offer due to conflictions in start dates. however, the second position could offer me a stepping stone for advancement in the future.", "summary": "should i go with whats safe or take a risk and hope i get a slightly more fulfilling job, though its really a decision between a turd sandwich and a giant douche?"} {"id": "t3_139raf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I did quite a disservice to a friend and their dogs, how can I make up for it?", "post": "I have a friend in production who was actually working Al Gore's Climate Reality 24 Hour program, and he asked me a few days ago if I could walk his dogs because the nature of the show required him to work from 4:30AM to 3:30PM. He said he was exploring his options, but on Tuesday I texted saying I'd be available for Thursday. I never heard back and assumed he didn't need me, and Wednesday night I got booked for freelance work the next day in the morning. An hour later he calls me to talk to me about walking his dogs the next day. Long story short, I cancelled on him when he was banking on me and literally he was about to go to bed at 9PM for a 4:30AM calltime. He got very upset, and I felt very bad for the dogs because I don't think he found an alternative that late and they might have stayed in their cage for a whole dozen-plus hours.\n\nWhat's done is done, but what can I do to make it up to him? My non-dog-owner mind would say a lot of dog food, perhaps toys, but if you have any better insight I'd be obliged.", "summary": "I pissed off a dog-owner friend and definitely made his dogs very uncomfortable for a day. How can I make it up to him?"} {"id": "t3_3zzdtu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it strange that I (28m) have only one good friend that I rarely see and a few acquaintances I occasionally hang out with? Could this be some sort of social disorder?", "post": "I don't know what to think, I see a lot of people hanging out together outside, I hear of co workers who hang out with their friends often, it's all over TV people having groups of friends. Yet I can't seem to make friends. \n\nI'm starting to realize this is probably not healthy but I'm not sure if I'm being insecure or if I have some sort of a disorder/ social issue. \n\nI hope this doesn't sound like I'm being an egotistical jerk but I'm just filling you in on myself a little bit to paint a better picture for you guys because I'm honestly stumped. \n\n I have a really good job, I'm decent looking and friendly, I've had a few long lasting healthy relationships but I've found that I was never single for very long between each relationship. I think that's defined as a serial dater \n\nBut I don't know why I can get a girlfriend but I can't make friends.", "summary": "Grown man can't make friends. I think I have some sort of social disorder, possibly just being insecure. Is that strange?"} {"id": "t3_4eh64z", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "(US, CA) S.S. Disability Benefits Cut Off. What Can We Do?", "post": "Hi all, \nHoping to receive some insight here. My dad receives supplementary social security once a month and yesterday, he did not receive his normal income. Unfortunately, both my parents live pay check to paycheck in terms of living, so this was very, very upsetting to my mom.\n\nWe filed an appeal in 2011 with payments to be continued during this process and yesterday, the reconsideration appeal was denied, thus losing our monthly income. According to the local S.S. office, they say we cannot appeal this decision. However, on the S.S. website, there are 4 stages for appeals, and we had only tried the first one, reconsideration. \n\nThey ruled him ineligible because he is \"no longer\" disabled, based off a two-minute doctor's visit via Social Security, not our primary physician. My dad is an amputee has various health problems, causing him to not be able to work for long periods of time.\n\nWhat can we do to go about fighting this? Is this normal?", "summary": "Dad was cut off from disability social security yesterday after ruled ineligible from an appeal from 2011. Want to fight it but don't know how."} {"id": "t3_vo8a0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the craziest/worst/best thing to happen to you WHILE you're browsing Reddit?", "post": "My roommate's drunk girl of the night came into my room to bullshit. I had 10 tabs of Reddit open, and was browsing as I shot back unenthusiastic conversation.\n\nMy fridge was out of my beer, and the only thing liquid in sight was a bottle with maybe 2 or 3 shots of Black Velvet left. She insisted on downing it AFAP and before all the evil brown liquor had left the bottle, *it happened*. In one swift motion she launched up off my bed and spewed jalapeno and goo in a trail towards my door. \n\nShe runs to the bathroom to finish the deed and comes back with a one word vocabulary; SORRY. This bitch won't **shut up**. I told her to brush her teeth and don't worry about it. As my roommate and I are cleaning up I can hear her with a toothbrush in her mouth saying \"I thought I was a badass, I thought I could handle black velvet.\" I would normally be pissed but this was funny enough to make light of the situation.\n\nI used 2 bottles of Resolve on my carpet, ruined like, 10 rags, and had to change my bed sheet that caught a speck of vomit :(\nI go upstairs with my sheets and throw them in the laundry, and as I'm about to pass the stairs to the kitchen, my roommate opens the door ajar and says, \"Hey, here you go.\" Drunk girl is standing butt ass naked on my stairs with an innocent 'I'm sorry' look on her face, as she plays with her tits a little.\n\nFast-Forward\n\nI'm back in my room comfortably Redditing my life away again when I hear 3 taps on my door, and drunk-girl peeks her head into my room. Her head is down, eyebrows raised, and bottom lip puffed out a little, as she says \"Can I come back when [roommate] falls asleep?\"\n\nI said yes to be nice, but nn sloppiest of seconds.", "summary": "On Reddit, girl pukes in room, cries, it's hilarious. Boobs. Back on Reddit, wants sexy time"} {"id": "t3_42j0o6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by insulting my friend", "post": "Throwaway for obvious reasons\n\nThis happened just a few minutes ago. Basically, on Facebook, there was some small argument going on between a bunch of friends, nothing really too serious, and everything was A-OK. One of my friends chimes in, and, because this is a thing we do, I immediately start joking. It's just some really joke-y arguments, and everything is still A-OK. This is where the fuck-up happens. He literally typed \"LOL\" in, so I said, \"why do you need to comment that? Did you not get loved enough by your parents?\" He responds completely normally and jokes that that's the case.\n\nThen, he does it again as a joke. In my infinite wisdom I say, \"Jeez, get a father figure if you want attention, because you clearly never had one.\" He then proceeds to message me telling me that his father died of cancer when my friend was 9. Now I feel like the biggest dick in the entire universe, and most certainly am.", "summary": "Told a friend that he didn't have a father figure as a joke, his father turned out to be dead."} {"id": "t3_1gwwp7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[20F] with my Boyfriend,Tyler [21/M] 20 Months, I want to break up, but we live together.", "post": "Tyler and I have been together for over 20 months. We have been living together for four months. \n\nBack ground about me: I suffer from chronic depression and I've tried to kill myself twice. Tyler was the only reason I never killed myself. I would always think about how much it would hurt him. He is the only person I've had sex with. Thats right, he took my virginity. \n\nWhy I want to break up:\nI want to break up because I feel like he isn't treating me right. He has been getting pissed at me because I ask him to do some of the women duties of the house. I've done all the cleaning and all the cooking and if I can't make dinner I order food to make sure he eats. Lately, he gets pissed off and makes me feel horrible when I can't do everything. The other night I asked him make dinner because I had to write a paper that was due in a couple hours. He made me feel horrible. This morning, I asked him to dump the litter box because it was too heavy for me. He walked out of the room and he was pissed. \n\nI don't know if im just looking for reasons to break up. Another reason is because he is the only person that I have had sex with. I don't want to only have sex with one person my whole life. \n\nWhy I hesitate to break up with him:\nI can't pay my rent. He pays most of it and I can't afford it by myself. I cant be the one who moves out because the only place I have to move into is my moms house. Which is the place my depression started because of my abusive step-dad. I do have a job, but is minimum wage and nobody ever gets a raise. And there is zero options for over time.", "summary": "I want to break up with my boyfriend, but I can't pay rent without him. I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_41f49b", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Valentines Day First Date", "post": "So on new years eve I went to a bar with my aunt, my uncle, and their friends. I was expecting a boring night with family, the bar was pretty empty. Well long story short I ended up dancing with and making out with this girl all night. I'd grab her ass. She'd over the pants pet my dick.. I knew she wanted it.. She had her own hotel room too. Eventually her siblings decided they had to leave. Before she got on the hotel shuttle I got her number. As soon as I got back to my vehicle I drove over to the hotel. She ended up passing out by the time I got there-several calls, no answer. We talked the next day about her losing her purse then nothing...until I texted her yesterday. I ended up asking her if she wanted to do something on valentines day and she said yes.\n\nNow here is where I need the advice. First \"date\" with this girl on valentines day. I'm certain she wanted me last time, but we were both super drunk. The only things I know about her are her name and that she's 25, (I'm 22 in a week). Now... My goal is to get laid. She might be an amazing girl who turns out to be the love of my life, but all I'm focused on is inserting my tab a into her slot b. Valentines day is usually a romantic day so I'm unsure how much to play it up. If she were my girlfriend or someone I wanted to date, I'd buy flowers and take her out somewhere amazing. As it is, I think dinner and a movie are alright and then I can get a hotel room. I want her, she's expressed interest before, how can I make sure she stays interested? How traditionally romantic should I be? Any general tips?", "summary": "Met a girl and missed an easy chance to have sex. Going to have a first date on valentines day and want to make sure I get it this time. Need tips and advice towards romanticism level and possibly date ideas."} {"id": "t3_qt0oy", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Which breed is right for my family?", "post": "Hi r/dogs. I am in an odd situation so I was hoping if someone could give me some advice about which dog breed would work best for my family's current situation. Because of certain circumstances, I work during the week but am home for a three day weekend all day. My parents are around all week to look after a dog, but they work full days and are probably not going to be home for at least 6 hours a day at a time. I am willing to devote a lot of time on the weekend for training, but again I will only be there for a couple of days on the weekend. We are looking for a well behaved and affectionate dog that is athletic. We have had labs in the past, but we were also looking into Golden Retrievers, but I am concerned about it not getting enough attention. Thanks for the help.", "summary": "Need breed advice. Parents are around during the week, but work all day, I am around full time on the weekends. Seeking friendly, affectionate, athletic medium/large dog."} {"id": "t3_42c6qs", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Kind of dating my[30/F] friend[35/M]? Not sure. Help.", "post": "I have a really good platonic guy pal who's been my friend for more than a decade. About a few months ago, I started to develop feelings for him. Fast forward to a few months, things got flirty, then it moved on to a sort of FWB. Weird thing is, we still hang out like we normally do even two days in a row and never run out of things to talk about even after doing it, he buys me coffee or visits me at home, we go on movie \"dates\", we hang out with other people like nothing even happened, he handed me some souvenirs from his previous trips, he got me a Christmas present (which, coincidentally or not, was a scene from a movie where he first held my hand - maybe out of being a super geek fanboy.) Anyway! I'm not sure where we are right now, even if some people (particularly my folks) think we are dating\n\nI really really like my friend (which came before us being FWB) and I'm afraid and mentally preparing myself for the heartache when he stops seeing me because he found someone else. What should I do? Should I tell him how I feel and get burned right now than later and risk losing one of my bestest friends in the world?", "summary": "Friend of more than a decade turns into a flirty thing then turns into an FWB. Looks like we're dating. Should I tell him how I feel?"} {"id": "t3_kgwbb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I got in trouble and I need your help.", "post": "So today I was out skating with some friends, two of them im not supposed to be around. So my mom pulls up and sees one of them smoking, and he tells his mom who told my mom I smoke. So now my mom knows I do. When we get home my mom comes up to my room and starts talking to me. At this point im so mad. She's saying stuff like \"I know you hate me now.\" and \"if your going to act like this I shouldn't act like your parent. So I yell \"shut up\" at her and punch a hole in my wall. Shes in disbelief that I did that and says I have to fix it. So now my mom thinks I hate her, and she won't do anything else for me. Im grounded and I don't know what to do. I want my mom to stop acting like this, she is taking it personally for some reason and i want her to stop. And not think I hate her anymore, can someone help please?", "summary": "I got in trouble for smoking and other things, got yelled at by my mom. Punched a hole in my wall. And now she thinks I hate her"} {"id": "t3_1aq711", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "If you had an infinite amount of time on your hands, what hobbies might you pick up?", "post": "I am interested in a lot of things and can do many other things so I guess you can say I'm a 'Jack of all trades yet a master of none.' If money and time weren't an issue I would love to keep up with photography, crafting, and baking. I would keep up with music (I can play and sing) and I would learn how to play new instruments. I'd like to also keep up my love for helping people and exploring wildlife. If possible, I'd learn new things too such as how to snowboard, rock climbing (not on a wall in the gym), and even how to drive a race car (big fan of top gear and racing would be fun). To sum it up, I'd try to learn everything I possibly could.", "summary": "snowboarding, rock climbing, race car driving, basically anything I've always wanted to learn but never had the chance to or I would improve what I do know to be better at it."} {"id": "t3_4lo76l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my GF [20 F] have problems with her friends", "post": "There is this group of friends that my GF hangs out with that I dont really like mainly because I feel as tho they are fake AF. They have also talked shit about me in the past so I have come to dislike them. Whenever my GF invites me to hang out with them, I want to say no because I hate acting all fake around them but my GF insist that I hang out with them. \n\nAt the same time, there are some of my friends that my GF does not like either mainly because they have talked badly of her in a way without getting to know her. Now from time to time, she would shit on them without regards to how I feel. \n\nNow although I dislike her friends, I don't say anything mean or shit on them every chance I get. She on the other hands loves to talk poorly about my friends every chance she gets. \n\nI guess what I'm mainly looking for is advice on how I should handle these conflicts. I've already told her how I feel about her talking poorly about my friends but she still does it, but in a indirect way now. This has now become a very touchy subject and we both get in a pretty bad mood when we try and talk about this. I just don't this is healthy for the relationship where we both dislike each others friends.\n\nIs this type of thing normal, that I don't like her friends and she doesn't like mine? Is this healthy for a relationship ? Should I try and make more of an effort to get to know her friends better even though I dislike them for the sake of my GF? \n\nAny advice / suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you reddit!", "summary": "GF doesn't like my friends, and I don't like hers. Just got a couple of questions at the bottom."} {"id": "t3_2cxwar", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] kinda complex officially 2 weeks unofficially about a month and a half, Little white lie I told getting to know her", "post": "So my delimma, probably stupid but here goes. \n\nHer dad is a huge surfer (like goes on week vacations and hikes to surf spots surfs all day and is 58 and people wonder how the hell he's doing it) and she really likes surfing too but she hasn't gone in awhile. \n\nWhen we were getting to know eachother I told her I surfed a bit (accidental kinda just started talking and it slipped out because I wanted to be super cool or something I don't know.) and I've never really surfed. I want to though extremely badly and It's like I would tomorrow if I could.\n\nI'm going to tell her most likely because I don't think its that big a deal because I extremely doubt that she's with me because I surfed a little bit a long time ago and the lie is kind of eating away at me. I'm also waiting to see her in person because I think that would be a better way to say this because I'm not a coward.", "summary": "little lie about surfing a bit, going to tell her. I just want to know what you guys think. Am I overreacting? How might she react?"} {"id": "t3_rgiia", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "Cat stressed out by moving to a smaller apartment", "post": "Well I'm at a loss. I've had cats all my life and they've always been perfect and not obnoxious in the slightest. Unfortunately that's not really the case anymore, and I don't know what to do about it.\n\nI got a kitten when I was in college, about 6 years ago (making her about 6 years old). She's been spayed etc, and has always behaved in an apartment setting. She's moved three times with me to progressively bigger apartments (600 sqft to 800 to 1100, every time with roommates) and has been great! However, 5 months ago I moved in with my girlfriend to an 800 sqft apartment, and the poor kitty is completely inconsolable. The only time she doesn't cry (and loudly) is when she's tired. We play with her, we cuddle with her, let her get fresh air on the balcony, and she's never acted aggressively towards anyone, but she just cries and cries and cries. I think it might be stress from the smaller apartment and the large chunks of day when no one is at home, but I don't know. Any ideas on how to fix this behavior? I'm worried about neighbors complaining.", "summary": "Cat meows loudly and often despite being played with/paid attention to/taken care of. Unsure if it's the new smaller Apt, living with girlfriend, or something else."} {"id": "t3_ywu8l", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My Grandad has Alzheimers in it's advanced stage. Does anyone have any tips for things that could help or ideas for activities I could do with him to help him enjoy his final days?", "post": "I've run a Google search on things to help with Alzheimer's, I'm not talking about curing it as I know there's nothing that can do that yet, but ways that I can help him to enjoy himself. I didn't find many fantastic or relevant ideas.\n\nJust to give you a bit of background information.\n\nThe Alzheimer's is it's more advanced stage\n\nHe can't walk very quickly at all\n\nHe has the occasional problem with bladder control and doesn't have a fantastic appetite.\n\nHe probably won't remember the activity within about 30 minutes after it.\n\nWe've tried quite a lot of things, from golf to shopping but we're ever increasingly finding he appears to be enjoying himself less and less each time. Are there any tricks that could lighten his mood and help him enjoy the activities more?\n\nWhile personal experience would be great I'm open to suggestions from anyone.\n\nThanks.", "summary": "Anyone have ideas of how to lighten the mood of someone with advanced Alzheimer's?/Does anyone know of any specific kinds of activities that would be suitable for someone with this condition?"} {"id": "t3_1ejwv6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by ignoring a car full of black boys hollering at me", "post": "I'm a fairly nice looking, skinny, blonde girl. I get yelled at/honked at by men in cars all the time (I got to college, so I must walk everywhere) and it **drives me crazy**. I always ignore it because I have a boyfriend, you hollering at me from a car does not interest me, **nor is it classy or attractive**. \n\nSo I'm late for an appointment, hurrying to get to my friend's car. I cross a rode behind my house, where a black kid sticks his head out of the car and says something like \"Hey sugar.\" I ignore it and keep walking.\n\nBefore I know it, they have rolled down all the windows of the car and all of them are yelling, \"Blondie! Blondie! Hey girl! Blondie!\" etc. But not yelling anything specific. I was already in a bad mood from running late, so I keep ignoring them and start walking faster. \n\nThen I realize I dropped my sweatshirt (it was draped across my purse). I turn around and don't see it, but see some people across the street pointing and saying, \"They grabbed it for you!\" So I scurry back to the end of the block, and the car is nowhere to be seen. Not only today did I realize I'm racist and a bitch, but then they stole my nice sweatshirt.", "summary": "Ignored a car of guys yelling to me because I dropped my sweatshirt; when I went back for it, they took it and drove off."} {"id": "t3_2yp2mz", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "United bulk ticket apparently not eligible for PQD", "post": "Thanks to a change in my job, I'm going to be traveling a lot more this year, including four or five trips to Asia from the US. I'm currently on such a trip to HK and Japan. To keep things interesting, I had set myself the target of achieving United Gold or even Platinum this year.\n\nI've now seen the miles for my outward trip to HKG credited to my account, but it is showing as ineligible for PQD. I emailed them via their website to ask why, and I got a reply the next day (pleasantly surprised at the promptness) that quoted word for word the exclusions listed on their website, but with the added two points:\n\n- Certain specialty tickets (including but not limited to consolidator, group and tour tickets)\n- Bulk tickets\n\nI booked my ticket through my corporate travel agent, about $5,500 (the same cost that I had found researching directly on the United website). The response from United tells me that I did not earn PQD as I had bought a bulk ticket. TBH, I have never heard of bulk tickets, no idea what that means. \n\nIf my future bookings through the corporate agent are similarly ineligible for PQD then I guess I'm never going to achieve even Silver status, so maybe it's time to choose another airline. Any recommendations for good US to Asia airlines?", "summary": "I apparently purchased a bulk ticket which therefore does not qualify for PQD (even though this is not mentioned on their website)."} {"id": "t3_1hxgjr", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Should I just buy or wait?", "post": "So I have some money that I was saving for around five years. A week ago, I went to watch some game videos on youtube which led to a 3DS video which had me thinking that I would want to get one. The problem is I have just about enough money to get a regular one but I'm not really into the black color that the regular ones have and I prefer the white ones available only to limited edition ones. (I know there is a white regular one but it's an Asian version, right? I would like to opt for a US version so I can benefit from Club Nintendo) \n\nThree days ago, I saw someone selling a Pikachu 3DS XL on the internet but it costs twice as much as a regular one. I am currently looking for a job to get money to afford it.", "summary": "I'm thinking of buying a 3DS XL but I can't decide whether to get the Pikachu Limited Edition or the regular one. As the limited edition one is twice the price of the regular."} {"id": "t3_ze9uv", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Girl I met online is sending mixed messages and I don\u00b4t know what to do next. Need advice.", "post": "Ok, so here\u00b4s the situation. A girl added me on a website and we started talking in private, then text-msg, then over the phone.\nMy attitude was always a bit cocky, flirty and friendly - nothing special. She seemed really interested and invited me home to her (we live like 5 hours from eachother.)\n\nNow here\u00b4s the problem. She met some other guy about a month before we even started talking at a concert. And he lives about 10 minutes from me! Strange.... anyhow, they have only met a few time, and according to her he is: boring to talk to when not IRL, seems to be a whimp when it comes to physical contact AND he is most likely seeing someone else.\nShe keeps changing her mind about him. One time, its \"i dont think we will ever meet again\", the next it is \"oh I will visit him next week\", \"he is probably seeing someone else, what a doucebag! Didnt think that of him....\" and the next \"I just know that it doesnt feel wrong about him, im just not sure if it feels right... maybe Ill fall for him someday\". \n\nEverytime we talk on the phone, she mentions how tight she is, how big her breasts are, sex stuff in general. She even asked if she could stay with me if things got messed up with the other guy when she was here (Yeah, like I want to be a back-up..)\n\nShe seems to be a cool person, and Id love to hang out with her. But I dont know what she wants! I\u00b4ve told her that she is boring when she keeps bringing her \"want, dont want\" relationship up everytime we speak and she replied \"Sorrryy wont do it again :( :(\", \"sorry\", \"please dont say im boring\". We are both 20, btw.\n\nI have no intentions of just being her friend, and I dont want to be her backup. So, what should I do next? Keep being friendly, avoid? Should I try to push for a meeting IRL?", "summary": "met girl online, but never IRL. She wants to meet, seems to be reaaally interested, but is seeing someone else and not sure how she feels towards him."} {"id": "t3_3kme72", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [30F] make new friends?", "post": "Husband and I have been together for 7 years; living in New England for 5. He is from here, so we are close to his family (for better or for worse) and he has some childhood friends here.\n\nI, however, feel at a loss. I've never had a difficult time making friends before, but am finding it hard for me here. I'm not sure if it's an attitude thing, as where I'm from people seem to be more welcoming and less abrasive (personal opinion, I don't mean to offend). I've always had a plethora of friends, but feel shit out of luck and frankly clueless about making them at this point of my life. \n\nAdmittedly, I love being with my husband and probably spend too much time with him. Occasionally he has to leave for work and this leaves me feeling depressed and alone at home.\n\nI frequently find that I meet people I enjoy, but they end up living at least 45 minutes away from me on the other side of the city. This is okay for once in a while, but complicates things when trying to develop a close friendship. Women in my suburban town are either way older than me or their lives revolve around their kids (I don't have any). Other people are constantly busy with work or their own relationships and such and don't seem have time for anything beyond that. \n\nThe other issue I find is that it's difficult to break into friend groups. I'll be friendly with one person, but don't know how to break into their already established group and find that people don't really think about including 'outsiders' in whatever they are doing with other friends. \n\nThis is starting to drive me crazy. I'm a social person and I love having friends and girlfriends, especially outside of my husband's family and friends. I need my own thing. It's gotten to the point that I'm losing interest in trying, which freaks me out. Help!", "summary": "Having a difficult time creating new friendships at this point in my life where I live and would love advice about how other people do this."} {"id": "t3_1209cg", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "People that live in a foreign country (for school, work, relationship reasons), what is the one situation you now frequently face that prevents you from successfully assimilating to your new culture?", "post": "I chose to move to Germany both to gain my Master's degree, and to marry a German man. As I live here, I'm working to learn the language, and to get used to everyday life here. But even after having lived here for almost two years, I still have so much trouble functioning in a grocery store. \n\nIn the US, tellers/cashiers stand all day, and if they need more small change, they simply request more to be brought from the cash office. Also, often they will bag your purchases, or at least wait until you clear out of the way before checking the next person out. In Germany, the cashiers usually sit, and will just shove the next person's purchases right the middle of your purchases if you don't clear out of the way fast enough, resulting in a jumbled mess, and often forcing you to guess which things were yours or not. And heaven forbid if you use a larger bill (meaning, a 20 euro bill), because they can't ask for more small change to be brought out, so they will verbally abuse you if you try to pay for a small purchase (less than 5 euro) with a large bill. \n\nPerhaps this reads as mostly a \"whine,\" but I just feel a mental barrier to dealing with this everyday issue I know will face for the rest of my life. But surely other immigrants have some sort of similiar issue they face that bothers them every time they encounter it.", "summary": "As an immigrant, what is the one situation you have great difficulty handling each time you encounter it? How did you overcome your frustration with this situation in order to assimiliate to your new culture you found yourself living in?"} {"id": "t3_3vn14d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [21F] of 1 year broke up with with me [22M] because \"I love her more\"", "post": "Starting last week my girlfriend was acting a little strange. She just came back from a week long vacation from seeing her sister that lives several states away. I didn't think much of it, she has finals and dealing with work I marked it up to just stress. I tried to talk to her about it but she said she was fine. So it Thursday night and my girlfriend was supposed to come over to hangout nothing out of the ordinary. She texted me \"when I get there can we go for a drive.\" I asked her what for and she's said \"to talk about stuff\" so my heart immediately sunk I knew something was going down.\n\nShe picked me up and we parked a few blocks over and started to talked. She asked if I ever thought of taking a break. Immediately I responded \"no never, I love you very much\" She just looked at me and said \"ohh\". She said that she wanted to break up because that my feelings for her were much stronger then she had for me. She said it didn't feel right in her heart and her feelings didn't develop like she thought they would. I still feel so blind sided by it all. I thought our relationship was perfect. I knew her all through high school and we decided to start dating when we started hanging out in college. \n\nWe had our disagreements here and there but it was nothing major at all. We never had big fights. We shared the same feelings on so much. I asked her if there was anything I could change that would make her stay. Then she started sayig no and that I'm perfect the way I am I treated her amazing. She said she felt bad and she didn't want to drag the relationship on any longer if her heart wasn't fully in it. \n\nIt just doesn't make and sense to me and feels completely out of the blue. I felt like she called it off so quickly with barely any emotion. I feel like she just gave up on me so quickly. I did everything I could for girl. I absolutely adored and loved her so much. I'd do anything for her to take me back.", "summary": "Girlfriend of one year broke up with me because her romantic feelings didn't develop like she thought they would. I feel so stupid, useless and have no idea how to cope and move on. "} {"id": "t3_187ziz", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "An inspiring anecdote for shy guys out there", "post": "My boyfriend and I went to an indoor climbing gym today. It was my first time and I had to go through an intro course about how not to kill the person you're climbing with. Since my BF has experience, I went through it with a bunch of strangers.\n\nWithin this group was a couple. They clearly hadn't known each other long. The guy was pretty\u2026 Reddity for lack of a better term. He had really long hair in a ponytail, was overweight, and wasn't handsome in the face either. The chick he was with was fucking hot. I mean, they were both young, but she was quite pretty for her age. \n\nI'm not really sure what their deal was, but they seemed to be on a first date. This guy was super friendly and nice to everyone and really encouraging to her, she was pretty nervous. After our little intro class was over, he spent the whole time hanging out with her, helping her out, and generally being a boss. I mean, he was so calm and content with the situation, I can't imagine he would have been flustered or upset if this date was all that their relationship came to. They were both just having a good time.\n\nI guess my point is, if any of you guys out there think that your looks are a dealbreaker, they **are not**. Chicks dig dudes who are awesome to hang out with, don't take every interpersonal interaction really seriously, and want to go do fun shit. \n\nYou like a biddy? Invite her to go do some fun shit. Who cares if she is physically out of your league. Go take her to do something fun where you can help her and teach her shit. Cultivate some fucking skills. Live your fucking life.", "summary": "I got inspired by this awesome dude, and I just thought I had to share it with some people who might be motivated by it. Go seize your fucking weekend."} {"id": "t3_1fbd33", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Don't beep at me when I'm trying to help you.", "post": "I used to work near an intersection of a one-way major road and a two-way street. I was waiting by the corner one day, and a guy in an Audi A4 drives up with his indicator on, trying to turn into the one-way street the wrong way. I tried to flag him down initially, when he didn't respond I crossed my arms in an X and shook my head at him, he looked at me and made a snarky face. Sensing an impending head-on collision I jumped out onto the road in front of him (he was going quite slowly for the corner) and put my hands out, yelling STOP! He beeped his horn and flipped me off.\n\nSo, instead, I took a step back and politely waved him on, up the one-way major road he was intent on driving around. 30 seconds later he screeches to a stop when he realises he is facing four lanes of oncoming traffic, quickly does a U-turn, and ends up back at the lights, exactly where I was standing. He looked up, and I smiled at him. He put his head down in shame and sped off.\n\nMost satisfying smug grin ever.", "summary": "asshole audi driver flips me off trying to stop him from doing something dangerous, resulting in awkward eye contact after he nearly crashes head-on into oncoming traffic."} {"id": "t3_4iftes", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [21F] wondering how many of my issues with my boyfriend [20M] of 1.5 years stem from my own insecurity vs actual problems in the relationship.", "post": "Thought I'd get this out of the way first - aside from these little issues, my boyfriend and I have a wonderful relationship and I'm very thankful for the ways he has improved my life. I think it's probably because of this that I feel so crappy now.\n\nAnyway, I believe that the saying is that I may be \"seeing green\" - I think I have a jealousy problem. My boyfriend has a lot of female friends, and I try not let that get to me because I know it's natural. However, what I do take issue with is that he is always very vague about who he is spending time with - he refers to all of his female friends, even his ex, as \"my friend\" with no gendered pronouns, but doesn't seem to have a problem referring to his male friends by name. I only ever find out that they were girls after the fact.\n\nMost recently, my issue is with a girl that he is interested in potentially playing music with (he is a drummer). He kept telling me that he was going to go meet and listen to music with \"them\" since \"that person\" couldn't actually jam because their instruments were out of town. So he basically ended up at a strange girl's place at 1:30 in the morning last week and I only found out it was a girl recently.\n\nI think there's a good chance that he literally doesn't care about the gender of the people he is hanging out/playing music with and that's why he doesn't specify. It just seems like he goes out of his way to be vague, and he has mentioned that he wouldn't mind having sex with other people before, so I'm a little wary.\n\nSo my question is, is this something I should be uncomfortable with, or am I just jealous and paranoid? If I am, please don't hold back, if I'm the problem here I'd love to fix it!", "summary": "Am I paranoid and jealous or do I need to have a talk with my boyfriend? If so, what do I say to him? Thanks!"} {"id": "t3_nsqg0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Ummm...I'm new in town (redditor for less than 12 hours), but it seems like a lot of these posts are complete lies/bullshit. Please tell me I'm wrong, reddit!", "post": "OK, so I just signed up a few hours ago and have read *many, many, many* posts already. You guys sure have *a lot* of \"I came out to my family as an atheist but we are a family of X's so now I'm homeless and I don't know what to do.\" WTF. Are these all true? Don't get me wrong (I'm an agnostic) but it seems to be a tad odd to have so many of the same story happening all within a short period of time. Also, I have seen quite a few \"ZOMG THIS JUST HAPPENED TO ME!\" but I have seen the attached photos or have heard that story (almost exactly the same) sometime before. Is reddit full of story-tellers or am I just living on a different planet than everyone? The site is cool but I don't know what in the hell is going on.", "summary": "REDDIT LOOKS LIKE IT'S FILLED WITH A BUNCH OF FAKE BOOSHIT. MAKES ME SAD."} {"id": "t3_178haf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (F15) relationship with my dad (40) is falling apart due to his girlfriend (19)", "post": "Okay, my parents got divorced about two years ago. They were both cheating on each other. They got new partners relatively quickly (about 2 months after everything was final. ) What gets weird is my dads girlfriend (now fianc\u00e9. ) is only 19. She went to school with my sister (20) and she's been like a family friend since they were in 7th grade. She is now beyond rude to us (my sister and I, and our brother who is 8) She hasn't finished highschool, and has no job. She had a 3 year old who's father is not in the picture. Sometimes she comes home smelling strongly of marijuana and sometimes of alcohol. While I think if she wants to smoke, that's fine, but I think it's really inappropriate for her to come home to her child while buzzed. I've talked to my dad countless times about how it makes me uncomfortable, but he sees no problem with it. I've talked to him about how she says rude things about my sister (calling her names, complaining about how she lives with our dad still, etc. ) but he still does nothing. My dad is starting to act like her and it worries me. He could have a wonderful woman, but he's choosing her, and his relationship with his kids is at stake. I'm too embarrassed about it to talk to anybody else about it, so is there anything I can do to try and make him see where his kids are coming from? Or should I just leave him be and hope that he sees that she's not the best thing he could have? Please help.", "summary": "My dads girlfriend is beyond rude to my siblings and I, and I can't handle it. My dads acting like her, and he won't listen to reason. "} {"id": "t3_13e8fy", "subreddit": "college", "title": "A wee bit of frustration. What do? Three TLDRs.", "post": "This semester has been a shitstorm for me in my lit class. First, the prof tells us that we have homework to do at our convenience that is due at the end of the semester. Later find out that the homework is due each Thursday at six, submitted online. No problem, the syllabus says we have three weeks to submit late work. I start doing the work I missed along with the work I need to do, so I catch up. Mid terms come around and I see that my prof has not posted a grade for me yet. Just yesterday, I find out that grades are up and we had two weeks to do late work instead of the three, thus making me miss the due dates on each assignment, I now have a D. I am a little upset that the syllabus was wrong, and it makes me feel like she was lying to us at the start of the semester. I also took the class before, but my current university won't accept the credit due to the class being one level higher, but it is the EXACT same material.", "summary": "Wrong syllabus dates on when things are due, no midterms, causing me to be dangerously close to failing a class that I have already taken."} {"id": "t3_2lzgjs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (23 M) think I said something stupid/creepy to (21 F)?", "post": "Ok, so I'll start off by saying I don't really have dating experience. \n\nI started talking to this girl I met on OKC a couple months ago and we've exchanged texts every day so I think she might be into me. Anyways, sometimes we also talk on the phone usually when she's driving back home from school for the night. Whatever, we have fun talking and laugh at each other's jokes.\n\nWe've only been able meet a couple times and I was talking to her last night and I brought up when the next time would be good to meet. I've told her that I've been studying for a certification exam (which I'm actually taking the next part on the 20th). She said either next weekend or sometime after my exam and I said in a joking manner something like \"Yeah I guess after my exam, I'll be able to devote more time to you...\" She kind of chuckled and repeated it but looking back now, I think it may have been a dumb thing to say and I'm worried she felt creeped out by that statement.\n\nI tend to overthink things and I certainly hope this is the case again, but with my limited experience I'm glad that I even have a girl to talk to and don't want to lose that. What do you guys think? Was that a dumb/creep statement?", "summary": "Been talking to this girl, said I'd be able to devote more time to her after an exam. I feel stupid saying that"} {"id": "t3_3xoeae", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend's (27) sister (20) is narcissistic, annoying, and I can't make her go away for good. I'm going to lose my mind soon!", "post": "I'm not going to go into major detail about everything, but basically over the years she has been causing me nothing but strife. \n\nShe's loud, obnoxious, and attention seeking. She posts novels on Facebook about how she's so proud of herself for this and that. Like getting over anorexia. She never was anorexic. I saw her eat no problem whenever someone brought her food. The only problem was, she's too lazy to make her own food. That does t sound like anorexia to me. And she's still 100 lbs soaking wet. \n\nShe also posted about how she is done with drinking and she needs to not do it as much, and not even 4 days later she posts a bunch of pictures, booze in hand. \n\nThese are just a couple examples of how annoying as hell she is. Also, my boyfriend and I have gotten in fights with her, and she has called me fat (sorry I don't still wear children's sizes as an adult) and tried and failed to physically assault me. I'm the most non confrontational person ever. She's just crazy. \n\nSo I've tried to just block her on everything and ignore her so she goes away. But then she lays guilt trips on her brother and I end up getting dragged back into it for the sake of peace. As the saying goes \"the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb\". But apparently she takes it as the usual way it's said. \n\nI don't want to associate with her, but I feel weird telling my bf I don't want him talking to her either. The problem is she is extremely manipulative. Do you think she actually has a mental disorder? She's unhygienic, never cleans her house, let's her dogs shit and piss all over the house and doesn't clean it. She does random drugs and drinks every 4 days. And she's constantly acting like some hardass on facebook.", "summary": "my boyfriends sister is annoying af for pretty much every reason anyone can be, but I don't know if I should/ can stop him from repeatedly going back to her. I would be happy if I never saw her again."} {"id": "t3_kmyhw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit, I need your help/opinions on religion.", "post": "I am 15 years old, in my sophomore year in highschool and im kinda questioning my religion(Roman Catholic) a little bit. I've always been Roman Catholic and i am because my parents are, im sure that if i was born into a family that followed a different religion or no religion at all, I would be raised to believe that that religion was correct instead of other religions or not to be religious at all. Anyway i've prayed and all for many many things such as for help with depression and bad grades in school and i put as much effort forth as i could yet things just kept getting worse and i've yet to see religion make my life any better. Also if i ever questioned my religion to my parents they would make me say the rosary and go to confessions. They have made me go to Church every single sunday since i was born, haven't gone a week without going to church. Do you guys think this is right or should i confront my parents and take the punishment?", "summary": "Questioning my religion(Roman Catholic) and have very religious parents that would pretty much disown me if i told them i didn't want to be religious. Please help me!"} {"id": "t3_208vq3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "GF (22F) has trust issues, what do i (22M) do?", "post": "My gf (22f) and i (22m) have been together for almost 2 years now. She comes from a family where her dad left them for another woman as a young child, and its really affected her relationship with men and trust ever since. \n\nFor a few weeks now, shes been very cold with me, to the point where she doesn't even talk to me. She seems upset when shes with me but is ok with others. And the few times we've spoken, she would snap at me for no reason. I asked her a couple times, but she insisted it was nothing. Eventually, she relented because we would get into tons of fights. She found out that her older sister (23f) had been cheated on her bf (25m) for a while now, and its made her very sad because this was someone she looked up to and trusted.\n\nSo right now, she has admitted to being sad all the time and that she finds it hard to trust me. She claims that if it is possible for two people (her dad and her sis) she trusted so much to have let her down like that, anything could happen to us. I told her that i wouldn't go anywhere because i love her and I'd take whatever cold crap she would dish out. Especially if it helps.\n\nIts been a week now, and its tough. But i think im making it work. Just wondering if there was anything else i could do.", "summary": "Gf is having trust issues after finding out her sister is cheating. Starts being cold to me and i tell her to do what she needs to. Anything else i can do?"} {"id": "t3_3cg4zr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26/F] with my boyfriend [24/M] of 6 months, don't know how to handle my jealousy of his female best friend and housemate", "post": "My boyfriend is very close with one of his housemates. She can be really flirty when she's drunk, with everyone. Very much with him. I know he loves me and I know he's not attracted to her, they are just close and one of his many best friends. Sometimes I get really jealous and I know this is not okay because he is loyal to me and always has been. They play basketball every week day and I'm not invited of course because it's not a three person game but it also makes me jealous. Well this past weekend I was busy with some girlfriends from out of town so I couldn't hang out with him, and he was at a party his housemate happened to be at because they have all the same friends. He got extremely drunk and unable to really function anymore so he asked her to walk him home, so she did. Well she was just saying (in front of me) how lovey he was being and how she didn't mind all the compliments at all. And how he was holding her hand. Now I didn't get mad because I have already mentioned my jealousy before and he got really mad at me because she is in no way a threat. They are just really good friends and he hated that I was jealous. So I know I need to choose my battles wisely. But I just want to ask him if they have ever held hands before or if it was just because he was out of control drunk and needed help.", "summary": "My boyfriend's best friend is his female housemate and I just found out they held hands when he was unable to take care of himself out of being too drunk. How do I handle my jealousy? Silently or no?"} {"id": "t3_4i4b7w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] the girl i've been seeing [20 F] for about 3 months, just seems distant since a certain incident", "post": "I've been seeing this girl for about 3 months. Everything has been really amazing so far but I need to provide some background.\n\nWe have hooked up/seen each other twice before this but I ended it most recently in the middle of last year because I felt she still had feelings for her ex of about 2 and a half years.\nas it turned out I was somewhat right and they had a brief moment late last year but it soon ended. She has told me she hates him and doesn't want anything to do with him.\nHer ex and her also share the majority of friends so they do bump into each other regularly.\n\nAnyway, we began seeing each other again and it's been really great no issues at all.\nAnyway she went out about a week ago and her ex was there and she said they spoke and she has decided to be nice to him in an attempt to make things easier because she does have to see him a bit. She didn't tell me this and the only reason I found out is because I asked why she was tagging him in things on FB.\nI've since found out he has spoken to her since and it's just bugging me, and again she didn't tell me that he had.\n\nWe've spoken it about it and how it's the only issue between us because she has gone back to him before why wouldn't it happen again? And it slightly worries me.\nShe has assured me it won't and she only has eyes for me, but I just get such a nagging feeling about it.\nThis has been compounded by her being quite distant all week for other reasons which has sent me in over drive.\n\nI really just would like some guidance here as I'm not sure what else I need to do to stop my mind going into overdrive.", "summary": "Feel the girl I'm seeing may still have feelings for her ex, but won't communicate with me properly. Not sure if I'm over thinking."} {"id": "t3_1ipyoh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My SO [18/M] wants me [19/F] to move in with him", "post": "So my SO and I are currently enrolled in two different universities, which happen to be about 3 hours away from each other. Our first year in college we saw each other every weekend, but it is too expensive to keep doing that. \n\nFor the past couple of months he has talked about me transferring schools and finding an apartment near his campus. I, personally, wouldn't feel comfortable moving in with him unless we were engaged. We both talked about it and he said we could get engaged before we moved in together next year. I though about it for awhile now and at first was really excited. Now, however, I am not so sure it is a good idea.\n\nFirst off I feel as if we are too young (though my boyfriend would say our age shouldn't matter) to be moving in together. I know my parents would not approve of this decision and would prefer if we were older or married. Second, I know it will be very expensive trying to live together and make ends meet. Not only do we have to worry about our rent, but we have phone bill, car insurance, books, tuition, and gas/food money. My boyfriend mentioned getting two jobs, but I don't want to work two jobs then take 18 credit hours on top of that. \n\nSo my question to you is what should I do? I love him so much and really would love to live with him, but I'm worried. I just don't know if a year from now we should move in together. Do you think maybe we should wait another year? What should I tell him. I really don't want to hurt his feelings if I say no I don't want to move in now.", "summary": "Boyfriend wants to move in together. I feel as if we are too young, and I'm not sure what to do"} {"id": "t3_3tgvx8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18/F] with my boyfriend [19/M] of 10 months, not sure whether to break up or not", "post": "First of all, this is kind of a vent, as I'm not really sure on where to start. Secondly English is not my first language, so sorry for any confusion. \n\nI met my boyfriend about a year ago and things went really fast from there. Eventually we were seeing each other every day and everything was great. I've always known we were quite different humorwise, and with different interests etc, but it wasn't really a problem as we got along perfectly fine. He truly is an amazing guy, and I really couldn't ask for more, with him always being by my side, buying me gifts and taking me out for dinner. \n\nI tried telling him that I needed some space, as we're seeing each other every day. I've got a lot going on right now, and it's just really stressful, having to take care of my homework, friends, gym, etc. After I told him, we agreed that we weren't going to see each other every day, but he still wants to hang out constantly, and seems to get mad, whenever I don't have time. \n\nI don't know why I've been having these doubts recently. I feel like an awful human being, as I often find myself attracted to other guys. Or is that normal in a relationship? Maybe it's cause I'm only 18 and the thought of being with somebody for the rest of my life terrifies me. Or maybe it's him not going to college that worries me. I've always loved traveling, and was an exchange student in America in 2013/14. I know I wanna go somewhere abroad to get an higher education, and I just don't know if or how it's going to work.\n\nThe reason i've been thinking about breaking up with him is, that he deserves someone better than me. He is wholeheartedly committed in this relationship and loves me with all his heart, and again, I feel like an awful human being, not even sure if I want to be in a relationship right now. I mean I really love this guy, and he's an awesome person, but I just don't know.......", "summary": "Don't know whether to break up or not. At 18, the thought of being with someone for the rest of my life terrifies me."} {"id": "t3_37ww5h", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20M] just met an amazing woman [20F] at work, but am considering marrying my [23 F] girlfriend of 3 years. Should I just keep away?", "post": "I just started a new job, and I've really hit it off with this gorgeous coworker. She's clearly interested in me too and has been dropping hints that I should ask her out sometime. I have no way of knowing if things could even work out between us (for one thing, I'm pretty religious and I don't even know if she is, which would be a dealbreaker for me) but something in me really wants to try it.\n\nThe problem is that I've put off mentioning to this girl that I'm in a pretty serious long-distance relationship with my girlfriend of three years. In fact, I'm considering marrying her. We've been dating since the summer before my freshman year of college, and I really do love her, but our relationship can be rocky sometimes. My friends have said that they think I'm good for her but they're not convinced that she's good for me.\n\nThe fact that we're long-distance makes things harder, because I only get to see her once or twice a year. I've only dated one girl before this so I don't know if I'm missing out on a really fulfilling, amazing relationship.\n\nI don't want to lead this new girl on so I need to make a decision either way. If I decide to pursue something with this coworker, it's going to break my heart to end things with my current girlfriend. We've talked about marriage and she's expecting it at this point, so I'm scared of destroying her emotionally if I leave. Is it worth that pain for me to continue getting to know this new woman and possibly even end things with my current SO?", "summary": "Met a new girl, not sure if I should marry my SO, am scared to give up a good thing for the potential for something better."} {"id": "t3_15hqxl", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "An ex (26m) told me (24f) he was still not over me after a year.", "post": "I (24f) broke up with him (26m) over a year ago. I have had a relationship that lasted a year during this time. He tried to move on from me but no relationship lasted for him. We were together for 3.5 years. That 3.5 years was ok there was times where he would cheat, but every time I'd forgive since it was a LDR. When it was good it was great but when it was bad it was horrid. \n\nI happen to be from the same town he lives. I visit once a month and always end up running into him. I try to talk to him and be civil. The other night while visiting my friends I ran into him, he was introducing me to new people whom I have never met. One of them referred to me as \"that ex.\" Since me and this guy talk I thought I'd ask him what exactly that meant through email. He replied with \"I am not emotionally over you and probably will never be.\" This lead into a conversation about if I could ever see myself getting back with him. \n\nI am not sure what to think anymore. When I see him all the hurt he caused me along with old emotions come back. Of course I care about him I always will; we practically grew up together. I know that we will never be able to go back to how we were before , part of me wishes it could. \n\nI am not sure what I am asking or why I am writing this. I do know that I just needed to get all this off my chest.", "summary": "An ex from ago is still not over me. I am not fully over him though I am trying to move on. I just don't know how to handle him anymore."} {"id": "t3_xiqi9", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what are your best stories involving the violation of the sacred rule \"bros before hoes?\"", "post": "My best friend and neighbor for twelve years started dating a girl he works with back around October. Over winter holiday (I'm in college) I moved back to my home town to hang out with him and my other friends and family. I could tell that he was really into this girl, but I figured they were just enjoying the new relationship jitters and in a bliss period that would eventually dull down. Despite him basically ignoring another friend and I all break I let it slide. I head back to school, and spring break comes in what felt like an instant. I once again return to my hometown because it is near a beach. This is when things began getting weird. I was happy to include her, but every time she would tag along, before the end of the night she would get \"sick\" and have to go (dragging my friend with her). Towards the end of the break I spoke with my friend about the matter, and he assures me he has noticed. He also promises to take care of the issue. Fast forward several months down the road. I'm working an internship in a big city further away from my home town than my college. I work ten hours a day to get Friday off so I can drive five hours and celebrate my twenty first with my friend and little brother. When I get there we all go out to dinner and he of course brings his girlfriend. Sure enough, she gets \"sick\" shortly after dinner and requests that they leave. He stays with her until Saturday afternoon, and finally comes over with out her. We all hang out, play video games, and of course indulge in various beverages. Next thing I know I wake up Sunday morning to find my friend had already left to head back to his girlfriends without even saying good bye to me.", "summary": "My friend is bailing on a twelve year friendship to be with a girl that he works with, goes to the same school with, lives with, and has only known for less than a year."} {"id": "t3_2hu37p", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "[Serious] What is a song that you hate, for a very specific reason?", "post": "I've listened to rock my whole life. My dad brought me up on it. I remember as a kid, sifting through all his thousands of vinyl albums, checking out all the cool covers.\n\nWhenever we'd drive around in the car, we would listen to our favorite rock stations. I thought it was cool that my dad loved to crank up the radio, roll the windows down, and just blast tunes. I do that to this day (respectively of course). This always something that was very positive.\n\nBUT, whenever the Rolling Stones \"Sympathy for the Devil\" would come on, he would IMMEDIATELY change the station. Thanks to a love of \"Interview with a Vampire\", I happen to really love this song. I would always be like, \"Dad, that song is awesome. Why did you change it?\"\n\nHe would just say \"don't ask me about it, but I refuse to listen to it.\"\n\nWe are not very religious, and are a pretty liberal family. But I remember at least 4-5 times in my childhood, my dad flipping out over this song and never telling me why... still won't to this day.\n\nThe only thing I can think of, is an incident where my uncle's best friend was killed a party when everyone was wasted. Apparently there was a handgun, and it was being played around with, and the of course, the worst thing possible happened.\n\nMaybe this song was on when it happened? I have no idea.", "summary": "My dad HATES \"Sympathy for the Devil\" by the Rolling Stones for some mysterious, extremely serious reason. It makes him visibly upset."} {"id": "t3_3xnqgn", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Couple questions on calorie counting and exercise", "post": "I've been just watching what I eat since the summer after some advice from my cousin who basically said count calories, track them and it should fall off. And it has so far, I am very pleased with the results but I had some questions regarding calories and exercise.\n\nI'm a 40 year old male, around 5'6\" and at 178 pounds right now. I've been using myfitnesspal to track my calories and am currently set on 1500 calories and get little to no exercise. Both MFP and [this calculator] have me in that calorie range. \n\nMy question pertains to exercise. I don't generally do much of anything other than hockey once a week. I was going to start doing more but wasn't sure how exercise affects my calories. Lets say for example, I am taking in 1500 calories a day. If I do some sort of exercise that burns 200 calories, should I be eating another 200 calories in food to compensate? When I've played hockey I haven't bothered adjusting anything but now that I want to start adding more exercise I want to make sure I am doing things properly since it's been going so well.", "summary": "Do I need to eat more food to make up calories if I have been exercising since my calorie limits have me as little/no exercise."} {"id": "t3_2indd4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20/M] have a girlfriend [20/F] but I kind of fell in love with a new girl [17/F]", "post": "Hey! Here is my story: I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend 4,5 years now. Last week I've met a girl (that also has a boyfriend), she talked to me at a party. I have not met here since then, but I will meet her tomorrow at another party. It is the final party of her exchange programm. Yep, she is an exchange student and will leave in 2 days...\n\nBut I kind of fell in love. I always think about her. Sometimes we are talking on facebook and she even said that I'm cute. (Don't know if that's much...)\n\nSince I have a girlfriend for such a long time, I'm not really into these flirty things anymore tbh. What should I do, /r/relationships? **Tell her that I fell in love?** **Or is it better to not say anything?** I'm confused because I never thought I would meet someone that attracts me more than my girlfriend.", "summary": "Met a girl (exchange student that will leave in 2 days), fell in love even though we both have a gf/bf. Shall i tell her about my feelings?"} {"id": "t3_33mxre", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My wife's feelings have changed after 6 years, do I try and make it work for the sake of our kids?", "post": "I'm a 28 year old male and I've been with my wife (38 y/o) for almost 6 years- we have a 3 year old girl together and two older kids (7 and 9) from her first marriage that I've raised since they were toddlers. My wife has collectively took every bad thing about me like a sword and stuck it right through me...I've only looked at her thru loving eyes even when she did things that hurt me I always looked at all of her positive qualities, every day, all the time. So much so that I had NO idea that she felt the way she did! Should I try to work it out for the sake of the kids, especially my baby daughter who is the star of my life or just finally let go? I came from a broken home but I was born and didn't meet my father until I was about 7...I harbored a lot of resentment towards him and I don't want the kids having that same resentment towards me because I'm not choosing to leave, but how can I stay in a home where I'm not wanted?", "summary": "Stay with wife for sake of kids? Will they resent me even though I'm being forced out? Her feelings have changed after 6 years and she only looks at the negatives, can I even change her back?"} {"id": "t3_fpvno", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Lose It: Long time, no see. Help!", "post": "Hi Lose It!\n\nSo I'm male, low 20's., and 5 foot 10. Used to way 260ish -- now 185ish. I have been \"stable\" (+/-) a few pounds for 1.5 years. \n\nI only do cardio. Always scared of the weights, don't know how to do them, don't/can't get a gym membership. I now will try weights, and this is where you come in.\n\nI have a dumbbell set, and some open space, and that's basically it. Can anyone suggest some exercises/routines of what I should be doing with my very very limited supply of weights? Again no room for a bench press and shit like that. \n\nWhat I'm looking for is links to videos on YouTube etc...where I can throw them up on my computer and do the exercise while they are doing the exercise in my room....that way I can't \"learn\" and do things properly in the comfort of my own house.\n\nI also plan to continue 45-60 minute cardio 5-6 times/week (post-dumbbells). Any help is appreciated.", "summary": "Starting back up, this time on dumbbells. Post some links of online video routines of trainers working out with dumbbells so I can learn."} {"id": "t3_3orei1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My husband [27 M] and I [27 F] moved out of state for work. He now dislikes his job and I feel responsible.", "post": "Throwaway. A little over a month ago, my husband and I moved out of state as he got a job offer for a position that was more stable than his last. The job itself is fine, but he's incredibly bored. He finds himself unchallenged, his work meaningless (his words, which I don't agree with personally), and comes home, spending the rest of the night restless and frustrated. \n\nI tell him that it takes time for him to adjust, and that maybe he'll get to work on something more challenging once his employees get a feel for him..but I feel terrible, even though I know I shouldn't. Despite the instability, he liked his previous job. It just wasn't sustainable - the hours were long, and he was underpaid. \n\nWhat more can I do to support and help him? His happiness is SO important to me. He and I are doing fantastic, but I WANT him to be happy with work. :(", "summary": "Husband and I moved out of state for a more stable job, husband now unhappy with work; I feel responsible and don't know how else I can help."} {"id": "t3_1mqu0b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[19f] boyfriend[20m] of 1 and a half years just broke up with me. Need help handling it.", "post": "Hello lovely people of reddit!\n\nMy first boyfriend and love broke up with me today. We were together over 1 and a half years. I know I'm only young, and I have a lot going for me, but I can't stop crying and I don't want to feel like this anymore.\n\nAbout 1-2 months ago, I started becoming depressed again. Nothing like my past episodes (which were before we were dating), but there was a notable change in my personality. I was quick to get angry at my boyfriend. Then my boyfriend starting checking out of the relationship, which only made matters worse.\n\nI can't help but feel so angry and upset with myself. If I had got a handle on my sadness, we'd still be together. If I was the old me he'd still want me, because we were very much in love at that time.\n\nHe only broke up with me today, but since I have already been so down lately, and have never experienced a break up before, I'm finding it hard to cope.\n\nIf you kind people could give me some advice I would really appreciate it. I know I'm young and I'll move on, but unfortunately that's not tackling my sadness right this second. What can I do to feel happy again?", "summary": "My boyfriend broke up with me. I was already feeling depressed but with this on top I'm not sure how to cope and feel better. Any advice?"} {"id": "t3_okgsn", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "A relationship that \"is\" reverting back to one that \"isn't\".", "post": "So not long ago I (26M with 24F) [sought advice on a relationship changing from a good friendship to a relationship](\n\nSo when we got together after the Christmas break, things were sort of stilted and awkward. I figured something was up, so I didn't make any sort of advances and when she left after last weekend, things got even more distant. By weeks end, I asked her to talk about it and she admitted that she perhaps wasn't as ready for a relationship as she had professed.\n\nThat's fine, it is what it is... but now I'm having a bit of a rollercoaster trying to figure out how to rebottle the genie after having a conduit for the feelings I had for her. That said, she's one of the best friends I've had or could ever hope to have and to her, the friendship is ironclad... so if anyone has any thoughts on how I can quash the neuroses and get back into that stride, I'd appreciate it.", "summary": "Is there a non-self-destructive way to recover a friendship mindset from a failed brief attempt at a relationship?"} {"id": "t3_1qhw70", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [25 F] get my boyfriend [27 M] to get a job?", "post": "Here's the situation:\n\nI've been dating him for over a year now and recently he has decided to go back to college. However, due to poor financial decisions in the past, he has no money, no job, and doesn't really actively seek a job.\n\nInstead, I'm paying for almost everything for him and it's frustrating because I just got a full time, salaried position, and I can't even enjoy the money I'm making because I have to save money to pay for things like his car payments and gas money. He doesn't have his own place and just crashes at his friend's. The problem is that I'm too nice to cut him off and every time I push him to get a job by reminding him of all the things I'm paying for, he turns it on me and accuses me of \"keeping track\", which I am not.\n\nHave any of you ever been in a similar situation, what is the best way to approach this?", "summary": "I'm working full time and supporting my boyfriend who is still in school, but isn't putting the effort in to get a job."} {"id": "t3_45ezew", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Best domestic credit card for airline points?", "post": "I have 4 to 6 flights coming up in the next year and a half from the mid-atlantic region to the western USA and Alaska. I'm looking for a good credit card that I can use as an alternative to my debit card (paying off the balance in full every month) to earn airline points to make all this travel a little bit more affordable, but I'm totally overwhelmed and confused by the amount of information my research has turned up. \n\nAdditional information: \n\nI'll have $600-1,000 of normal expenses each month (depending on the month) that I'm planning on using the card for. This does not take into account flights or travel expenses, which will also go on this card. \n\nIn addition to flights, I'll have rental cards and a considerable amount of gas to pay for (I'm driving from the east coast to Idaho at least once). \n\nLooking at my travel history over the past year, I don't tend to use a single airline. I usually mix and match flights to find whatever is cheapest. I have used Delta, United, and American airlines in the past year. \n\nDue to living in and flying to remote and low-population areas, preliminary research shows my flights will cost $700-900 each.", "summary": "What card should I use to earn points while I fly back and forth across the US 4-6 times in a year?"} {"id": "t3_2sslfp", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by thinking I know my way around town", "post": "This happened about two years ago on Halloween night. I was at band practice , and nobody came to pick me up. Instead of asking for a phone like a sensible person I decided to walk home in the dark. I took a left instead of a right at one turn, and ended up getting lost. For 3 hours. I ended up in the shadier parts of town, which freaked me out. I ended up walking halfway around my town, and somehow ended up near a church that's literally a block from my house. I ran home, and my stepmom was on the porch waiting from me. It being Halloween night, she thought that I was out partying. I tried telling her the truth, but she partied as a teen and she thought I was lying. This obviously made me mad, mainly because I'm not the party type. This ended up in me being grounded for what felt like forever.", "summary": "Tried to walk home from band practice, got lost. Stepmom thought I was at a party, got grounded."} {"id": "t3_obx0j", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Need some advice...", "post": "I'm (m20) and I recently met a really cute girl at a party. We had mutual friends and had known each other's names, but nothing more. I met her at a party (her party, actually) because I was picking up my drunk friends. We get to talking and things are going really well actually and she even asked me for my phone number. I knew that she was just out of a long relationship (same as me) but I also found out that she is sort of talking to a guy already. About a week goes by and I finally work up the courage to text her and we have a great conversation and she asks me when I'm coming home next (we go to different schools). I told her that I would, surprisingly enough, be in town this coming weekend. We set up plans and it was great! Though one thing that was odd was she asked if our mutual friend was coming home. I told her no and asked why and she said \"It'd be nice for you, me, (my friend), and (her friend) to all hang out!\" Does this mean that she's not fully into me or am I just over thinking this? Secondly, I now don't know when to text her next. I will obviously text her this Saturday when I'm in town, but should I try to spark a conversation sooner?\n\nThanks!", "summary": "Met a cute girl, got her number, she wants to hang out (with a group), don't know when to text again."} {"id": "t3_4iip77", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by Coughing....", "post": "For the past week I have been sick with some sort of bug. You know the usual cough semi-scratchy throat. The cough had become pretty annoying to the point I would just keep coughing to where I felt like my head was going to explode. \nSo after a long day of work I returned home to have some chill time. I work nights 3pm-11pm. Came home checked on the wife in bed and went to the dinner table where my computer was. I was watching some videos on reddit as usual with a beer and here it came again. The cough of death. This time however I wake up next to my Kitchen island in a pool of my blood. Now we are talking straight up murder scene. \nI was in complete shock like holy crap did I get completely wasted and fall to my untimely death on a kitchen counter? Nope, barely through half a beer when I came completely to. I ran got some stuff to apply pressure with; ah good ole paper towels. \nI woke the Wife up and she could not believe the blood and mess. I had a pretty good cut above my upper right eyebrow. I had hit my head directly on the corner of the kitchen island. We woke our kids up and straight to the ER I go. Apparently, I'm fine after EKG and Chest X Ray. It's common thing that can happen after a coughing spell the Doctor says. So now I live my life in fear. wondering will this be my last cough? I was prescribed some things to help calm down my cough, usual stuff for colds, and 4 stitches. \nAfter a day of the Wife taking care of me and being worried I said \"Happy Mother's Day\" :-)", "summary": "Coughed to the point of black out. Arose in a large pool of blood. Found out coughing can make you pass out. 4 stitches."} {"id": "t3_2scb0z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (25m) SO(22) wants to end our 4 year relationship when she graduates in the spring but wants to stay together until then. It's breaking my heart.", "post": "My SO and I have been together for 4 years, and now she wants to break it off when she graduates in the spring. We both love each other and she wants to stay together until then, but I can't help but feel betrayed and angry whenever I think about it, and I can feel depression creeping in more and more every day.\n\nI've told her I would happily go with her wherever she feels she needs to go, but she says she wants to \"find out who she is when she is single and on her own.\" After that she says she might come back. She says she can see herself marrying me in the future, but she has to go be single for a while. \n\nThis girl is the most amazing woman I've ever met and I'd gladly spend my life with her, but this is the most selfish thing I can imagine her doing, and I can't decide if I want to try to salvage the relationship or say goodbye. Please help.", "summary": "my girlfriend of 4 years wants to break up when she graduates, but hints at coming back after she's \"found herself\". Can't decide to break it off or try to salvage the happiest relationship I've ever had."} {"id": "t3_1gul9z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How/Why did you \"break up\" with a shitty friend?", "post": "I [F20] have a close friend [F18] who's basically trying to be me. She's an emotional leetch, calls me a billion times a day and openly expresses wanting my first love's body While she knows we're currently fwb when he's on leave for the military. She was in our social group while we dated and was obviously in love with him, but in my mourning process she never shut the fuck up about him so it took forever to get to a healthy stand-point. What the hell kind of friend does that?\n\nI can't handle the fact that she has her own vendetta in using me for my ex-flame's attention... It's got me crying again at night with Feelings! This ruined hott, steamy, monkey sex because now I wish I was his only. Fuck. I'm going crazy! No idea how to break it to her though. She's just a sexually frustrated virgin (who happened to fall for my ex), extremely introverted with anxiety issues and doesn't have many friends. Oh did I mention that all of a sudden she's into my hobbies, following me, and now pursuing the same career? \n\nDo I work this out with her? Or possibly tell me your story so I can better grip where that line is.", "summary": "I'm just going crazy over here. Please tell me where your bitch line was drawn and how you executed \"break up\". Or if you read it, drop this beezy? Yay or nay?"} {"id": "t3_g2vwd", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "How can I get my two cats to become friends/get along? (Cross post from r/askreddit)", "post": "I have a 7 month old kitten which I got about 2 months ago who is the greatest cat I've ever owned (I had a few cats when I lived with the parents, but they always only had one at time). She's never shown any agression or tried to bite me, etc.\n\nWell today, my girlfriend and I decided to add another kitten to the family so that our cat can have a friend. Well, I got the kitten, which is a 7 week old male, and brought him home.\n\nI brought him right to the litter box (same one Godzilla uses, I'm assuming this was an issue?) and Godzilla freaked the fuck out. Luckily she didn't try to attack him, but was hissing and making weird growling noises. I tried to comfort her and pet her but it honestly felt like she was going to bite me if I petted her the wrong way.\n\nI tried playing with Godzilla and her toys while holding the kitten in my other arm, and she would play with me, but she was only 25% as happy to play as she normally is.\n\nAfter reading up online, I saw that we need to keep them separated for now, so I have him set up in a room with his own litter box, food, and water.\n\nReddit, what do I do? I'm freaking out and wondering if I'm going to have to give the kitten away. :( Any help or a story is appreciated.", "summary": "My 7 month old female kitten wants NOTHING to do with a 7 week old male kitten I brought home. Please help!"} {"id": "t3_3oi00m", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "746 to 613 score in two months? Will it help if husband removes me from credit card account?", "post": "Hi all! I have, what I hope, isn't a silly question. I looked through the wiki and have done a google search and haven't come up with answer to this specific question.\n\nMy credit score, as the title says, was a 746 just two months ago. In that time, I had a dental emergency and had to open a care credit account and my husband added me to a card that he had in his name only. The care credit is paid off, husband's card doesn't have a high balance, and the only other thing that I can think that has changed is that I opened my own visa account about four months ago (low balance, credit rebuilder type deal).\n\nIf my husband removes me from that account, will my score go back up? The credit helper message says that I have too many bankcard accounts (four or more) and too many accounts opened in the past two years. Everything seemed fine until he added me to the account, although maybe that's just weird coincidence? I should add, also, that nothing negative has been added to my account in this time (old stuff is there, yes, but nothing recent).", "summary": "husband added me to credit account, had already opened up my own two accounts, credit score plummeted. If he removes me, will it go back up or make things even worse?"} {"id": "t3_3btw1e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] almost 2 years. I cant help but to feel so incredibly unimportant and it is eating me alive", "post": "I've been dating my girlfriend now for almost two years. She is the absolute love of my life, the most incredible, smart, beautiful, funny girl i've ever met. We have the most amazing times together. About 8 months ago i started bringing up the fact that she never makes plans with me. Any time we hang out, it is me who asks to hang out, it is me who makes the plans, it is me who does everything. I would also take the leap not knowing if she was available or not which I felt is unfair because i am always available for her. Its been almost two years and she has never surprised me and asked to come see me, she doesnt make plans with me. I have been so vocal about this and how it kills me and her answer is always \"I dont like to make plans\" yet a lot of the time she has plans with her friends. She is the most incredible person in the entire world but this is eating me alive. I dont feel wanted, she knows this, yet she cant just make a single plan with me because she doesnt like plans. I am almost out of self esteem and i dont know what to do. She means the world to me and it feels like i mean nothing to her. Its an absolutely terrible feeling :(", "summary": "My gf is incredible and i love her so much but i always make the plans. ive told her for 8 months how it hurts that she never asks me to hang out and nothing has changed. im miserable."} {"id": "t3_2brlhv", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By Sharting Naked In The Kitchen.", "post": "It's Saturday now in Colorado, so let's do this. It was my day off yesterday and so when I woke up I thought \"Damn, I could really go for a PBR in the shower today.\" So I started running water for my shower, and it takes a solid minute to actually get hot, so I walked to the fridge down the hall in the kitchen. I open up the fridge, grab the beer, take a couple sips and stand there for a minute, just sort of zoning out. I was just about to go back to the shower and needed to fart so I stopped for a second and let 'er rip. Bam. Poop on the floor. I was like \"OH FUCK\" and I ran to the shower and cleaned the shit out of my asscrack and got out as quickly as I could. \n\nAs I was stepping out of the shower, I could hear my girlfriend unlocking our front door and I was like \"no no no no, god no\" I stopped drying off and just ran out to the kitchen to try to hide it with a paper towel or something and try to play it off like I spilled a frozen burrito or something. Before I make it to the kitchen, I just hear a loud \"What the fuck Dude!\" \n\nI just stood there like a deer in the headlights. She looked at me. Looked at it. Looked at me. I said \"Uhhhh, Domino did it.\" (that's our dog). She gave me a look that is best described as Not Amused. I proceeded to clean up my own shit off the floor, naked. In front of my girlfriend that did not at all enjoy coming home to that.", "summary": "shat on the kitchen floor, girlfriend saw it before I cleaned it up, and then I tried to blame the dog."} {"id": "t3_2exqjg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] 5-ish months, are going through a rough time", "post": "It started on the high school robotics team. Her and I would awkwardly stare at each other throughout the course of the build season. I held her hand at a competition, then we talked all throughout spring break. She snuck over that Saturday when I got back in town from skiing. We had sex. (At this point we were decently good friends). We grew our friendship more until school ending, still having sex regularly. I learned that she had a boyfriend during all of this a few weeks ago. She met my parents, extended family, family friends posing as my \"friend\" when she had a boyfriend she was keeping a secret. Trust issue #1\n\nWe are both attending the same university. My depression has gotten worse. She spent an hour talking to her \"ex\" (I'm still not sure if they are even broken up) on the phone while I played ping pong in the dorm lobby making friends. Trust issue #2. This was a massive trigger on my part. Everything has gone downhill since. \n\nThere is another aspect to this problem. I have a lung disease, Cystic Fibrosis. I lost 3 friends to it. I am a mess psychologically. She helps me stay healthy the best she can. She makes me do my meds. She is caring in that regard. Having CF, and what it does to people upon death, I do not understand why anyone would willing put themselves through this. Trust issue number #3.\n\nShe missed her pill one day, and is now a week late on her period, so she says. She has been \"spotty.\"\n\nThank you for reading this. Give advice as you see fit. Just typing this made me feel better.", "summary": "Girlfriend started seeing me while having a boyfriend I didn't know about. We got sexual, she still had the boyfriend. She still actively talks to him. And she might be pregnant. I have trust issues. Help me."} {"id": "t3_1nyb3l", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "What can I [20/M] do to make my date [22/M] know that I'm romantically interested?", "post": "Recently had a first date with a guy, and I had a really good time. It was a lot of fun, however for me at time it sort of felt like a job interview. A little friendly but distant and really sterile platonic topics. I'm interested in asking for a 2nd date some time in the future.\n\nIn the event that happens, or for any future scenario, what can I do to let my date eventually know I'm interested in them in a safe appropriate way? \n\nI've never been a touchy physical person, all of my friendships and family relationships are pretty hands-off in terms of physical contact. So no matter what I'm feeling, hand holding or playful touching is something that I find hard to initiate. Not to mention gauging the comfort level of the other person. \n\nAnother wrinkle is that I'm gay and I don't always feel safe being physical with my dates in public since I don't always know if the environment will be 100% friendly towards me in that sense.", "summary": "Any tips for a gay guy to show that he's interested in his date, physically, verbally or otherwise in a safe and appropriate way around the time of the second date?"} {"id": "t3_1nt8my", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my friend[18F] went on 2 dates, and then this happened...", "post": "So I asked this girl out who is in a few classes of mine. We went to lunch for the first date, and that went well. We are both introverted and this is my first time pursuing a relationship so I have no idea what I am doing and she is difficult to read (I am too, I'm sure).\n\nSecond date (friday night), we had a light dinner and then went to see a theatre production. This one was a little more awkward, particularly at the end because the play was just fucking weird (a look into the mind of a serial killer). Before we parted, I asked her to go to an event this Sunday night, to which she said she would have to check her schedule, and I gave her a hug but it was awkward and didn't seem well received.\n\nAt this point I thought moving any further wasn't going to happen...\n\nWe met again today (Saturday) because we are working on a group project with 4 other people for one of our classes. After our meeting, she left and came back shortly after (I was still wrapping things up as I am the group leader). She asked if she could talk to me...\n\nBasically what she said is that she isn't ready for a relationship, but wants to be friends for now... She said that that doesn't mean a relationship will never happen... And she said she is still interested in going to the previously mentioned event tomorrow (Sunday). \n\nWhat is going on? Have I been permanently banished to the friend zone, or does she just want to move slowly (which is understandable, given her rather reserved nature)?", "summary": "Went on 2 dates with a girl, so she must see something in me... Said she isn't ready for a relationship, but still wants to go to another event with me.... Will anything ever happen between us?"} {"id": "t3_38z04w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [45 M] with my ex girlfriend [42 M/F] of six months can't seem to move on but won't get back together", "post": "I [45M] broke up with my girlfriend [42F] of six months because of major lifestyle differences. We still see each other and behave like a couple when we're together, but she insists we'll never be a couple again. I think we can get past the differences, but she is adamant it's over forever. The problem is, she keeps calling me and we end up spending time with each other. Then she tells me we're not a couple and never will be. \n\nPart of me wants to prove her wrong, but it feels like she's getting all the benefits of a boyfriend but can do anything she wants outside of that by insisting we're not together. How do I save me from myself? I feel so weak in this.", "summary": "My ex keeps calling me and I'm in an endless spiral of hope/despair. How do I free myself?"} {"id": "t3_3jamub", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [28m] have a serious lack of confidence in decision and I'm losing my family.", "post": "Lola and I have been together 3 years. She is 2 and a half years older than me has a young daughter who I have become a second father to and we've all lived together for about two and a half years. \n\nNearly ever since we have been together I have been incapable of making decisions. We had a rough beginning as I was a pothead and trying to figure my life out while getting out of debt. She had a steady job and was supporting her child. We balanced each other out at that time.\n\nNow I have a steady job, I take care of a lot of housework, nothing special, though. But my inability to follow through and make decisions is putting a serious road block in our way. I consistently offer to take care of things to help out since she has a lot going on but I keep botching things. \n\nRidiculous things like not confining an appointment at the vet without consulting her, running to the store and calling home to make sure I didn't forget things. We recently got engaged and i wasn't really taking part in the planning of the wedding that we wanted to make happen quickly. She is getting tired of my inability to carry on a conversation when the shit hits the fan and I'm just left with my mouth shape and not a single word in my head but \"I'm sorry\" and \"I'll try harder\"\n\nIts no wonder she is frustrated and can't see me growing up and taking responsibility and I'm at a serious loss for how to fix this, to fix myself and show her that, after all this time I keep screwing up, that I can really step up. And I don't even know how to do that. How can I possibly salvage this?", "summary": "lack of confidence and follow through are tearing my 3yr relationship apart and she can't tust me to take responsibility, how do I show her and convince her I can step up after all this time?"} {"id": "t3_3elbwd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22F] with my sister [15F], worried guy she is with [22M] is bad news.", "post": "First post here and I am looking for some unbiased advice about my [15F] sister.\n\nMy sister has always been mature for her age. A year or so ago I discovered she was in a relationship with a [18-19/M]. My parents (separated for 9 years) were upset but once they met the guy accepted him into our lives. I don't think they realised sister and [18-19/M] were in physical relationship.\n\nA few months ago sister drops him and he gets very angry, horrible messages ensue but as far as I know they have now stopped. She replaces him with [22/M], we will call him Max. She confided in me a few weeks ago that they are having a sexual relationship. She also told me she wishes to tell our Dad they are together but wants to wait until she turns 16 in October. She already spends a lot of time at his house and when our Dad is out she has Max over to the house often. I was worried if she waited until October our Dad would feel betrayed that she hadn't told him earlier, so I convinced her to tell our Dad that she had feelings for Max. \n\nShe told him she has a \"crush\" on Max, my Dad replied by saying they should stay friends until she turns 16 and then talk about contraception. \n\nHowever I am worried that they are still having sex and may not be careful. I do not know whether to share this with our Dad, and break my sister's trust, or whether to keep quiet. I have tried suggesting to my Dad that Max also has feelings back towards sister but he doesn't seem to think Max is a very 'physical guy.' My Mum has also met Max and doesn't seem worried that he is 7 years older than my sister. Am I just overreacting? \n\nI sent my sister a text outlining my worries and advising contraception but she never replied. What do I do now? I am very worried.", "summary": "My 15 year old sister is having a physical relationship with a 22M. No one else seems worried- am I wrong?"} {"id": "t3_17zjt6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I (22f) approach my roommate (25m) about a roommates-with-benefits arrangement?", "post": "My roommate and I have lived together for about 5 months, and the lease is up in about 4 months. I plan to move out-of-country at that time. We share the apartment with another female in her 20's. I have never had casual sex before, so I would appreciate some insight from people who have.\n\nThere has been sexual tension between us for a very long time--almost since we moved in. We get along famously: we (usually the three of us roommates) travel together, party together, and hang out all the time. We share the same circle of friends, although we were not friends before moving in (I moved here from another country). A lot of times, it is just me and him who hang out--movies in the living room, cooking together, studying together--and those experiences are generally lovely. I believe that he likes me and finds me attractive, but I do not think he would want a serious relationship with me. At least, he has never indicated that.\n\nI truthfully don't want a relationship with him (or anyone right now). I recently got out of a long-term, committed relationship because I realized that I did not want to be tied down to a man until I get my career in place. \n\nThat being said, I would be sad to lose my roommate as a friend. But I wouldn't be heartbroken, either, if that makes sense. I mean, I only have 5 months of history with him as his friend. It's not like we've been \"bff's 4evr.\" \nWhat I would love to see for us is this: absolutely no change in our relationship other than having sex occasionally. \n\nIs that utterly stupid? Do you think it could work? What rules should be set to ensure nobody's heart is broken? How do I even begin the conversation?", "summary": "Should I risk a positive friendship with my roommate in order to pursue a friends-with-benefits relationship with him?"} {"id": "t3_1fdd1t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17m] really like a girl [17f], but she's fallen for a friend of mine [17m]. Not the first time it's happened.", "post": "I'm sure my teenage-troubles seem fairly minor compared to failing marriages and serious relationships, but I wanted somewhere to rant.\n\nTo give the situation some background I'm averagely popular, really like my friends, and I'm generally happy. However I'm unnatractive and I'm very shy around girls so I've never really got anywhere with anyone. I understand many people are in the same boat and I honestly don't care that much about this, oh well I can move on.\n\nHowever like all teenagers I develop crushes, and from time-to-time have fairly serious feelings for girls I've managed to bring myself to talk to. So onto what's bothering me; I have a few very sexually-successful close friends who seem to have girls falling at their knees to be with them, and over the past few years every time I've started to like a girl they've fallen for one of my friends (twice it's happened soon after rejecting me). I've socialising with a really nice girl in my Chemistry class for 2 months or so. She's friendly, funny and attractive. Just a few days ago I heard she had a thing for one of my closest friends, and his approach has been to shrug her off as a potential girl he can get-off with at a party. It's happening again.\n\nI don't know who to be mad at except my own uselessness. It's not her (or \"their\" including past cases) fault as there's no way she should be expected to magically develop feelings for some plain kid who keeps awkwardly starting conversations with her. It's not my friend's fault (again plural including past cases) as he's just acting himself and girls seem to like him. They're all genuinely nice people and I'd like to think I am too, I'm just a failure in this department. I'm currently avoiding thinking romantically about anyone as I know it won't end in anything other than that familiar empty feeling of not being good enough.\n\nI really appreciate you reading this, and any advice about how I can proceed in this situation or how to avoid similar ones in the future would be gladly received.", "summary": "For about the 4th time in the last few years a girl I have feelings for seems to be falling for a friend of mine. Please read the whole thing for the full picture."} {"id": "t3_32cuoa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] would like to date my friend [21 F]. Stuck on my bestfriend [23 M] who doesn't want her, and is actually trying to help me get her.", "post": "I've been friend with Julie for about a year. I met her on a common party organized by my friends, and we always have had good times since. \n\nI can say I liked her since the first time but I had different plans at this time and I couldn't really say anything about what I felt for her. This is probably because I also knew she was on my friend, Julien. \n\nIn short, Julien doesn't like her as much as she does. He is on somebody else, and Julie is just a good friend to Julien. I've talked with him and he clearly want her to date somebody else, and he's happy I feel that for her. He often gives me tips, and talks good about myself to Julie.\n\nI know she has doubts about me. I didn't tell her what I feel yet, But few nights ago she asked questions about me to another friend. And she told him she wasn't ready to anything but Julien. She was not interested.\n\nI'm kind of like a shy guy, her opinion on me isn't what I really am. I don't feel confident talking about that during a party, I don't see myself to ask her out for a night. She would find that weird. \n\nWhat I'd like is to show her that she deserves better than waiting for nothing. I want to tell her that I can make her happy. It has to be her choice. I don't want to rush anything, and I'm rather patient. \n\nSorry for my typos if there's any. Being french doesn't help me but I'm trying hard.", "summary": "I'm a french guy that need advices on how to get her off my friend. What could I tell her? Is there anything I can do? I know there's always a room for improving."} {"id": "t3_2vybpn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [31/M] had a close married work friend [27/F] cry after I was fired.", "post": "So I worked at this company for 6 months, not so great Job. Made tons of friends, including a totally hawt married woman. I talked with her everyday, I even came outside for her smoking breaks in the below freezing temperatures. We share a lot in common, could probably talk for hours. \n\nOther coworkers got the impression she was kinda cold, quiet, snooty even. She's very popular amongst the other dudes. But I'd have to say she spent the most time with me. She sat across from me at the lunch tables, took the same lunch breaks.\n\nWe also text a fair amount, I'd say we text about every other day. So when we hung out the first time after, me and several other coworkers were let go she admitted to crying \"I had to drive for 3 hours\". She said \"I was really worried about you.\"\n\nI keep running those words through my head. I'm not new to dating, or relationships. It doesn't sound like she's entirely happy with her marriage (and who is?), barely gets to see her husband. I know people have like pseudo work spouses. I keep telling myself she was probably more worried about her own hide than, (points to self) this guys future.\n\nShe's very interested in hanging out with me, even suggested I drive over (in better weather) to my old work for smoke breaks.\n\nSo should I ask her if she has feelings for me? I don't want to ruin our awesome friendship. I feel I could take the 'let's be friends' route I just want things to be clear. She sends some awfully mixed signals. \n\nWould I like to be in a relationship with a married woman? Maybe, depends. With her? hmmm depends.", "summary": "Hawt work close friend was really upset I was fired. Unsure if I should ask if she has feelings for me."} {"id": "t3_12ktgd", "subreddit": "self", "title": "My Dad has been an alcoholic all my life, which has led to me discriminating against drinking. This is starting to affect my outlook on people, help?", "post": "I could write a novel on how my Dad's alcoholism has affected me as a person, but i want to focus on one aspect now. Over the years my Dad has been a drinker and as a result has gotten progressively worse, resulting in us at one point losing all our money and consequently our house. Compared to most he's actually quite a tame drunk, besides coming home a complete cunt most nights, but it's affected the whole family steadily over the years and it's got to the point where both me and my sister have definitely been scarred by the whole thing. My mother's tried to keep the family together and hasn't divorced, which has only served to make the situation worse and we're barely much of a family anymore at all.\n\nAnyway, this is all done now and there's nothing that can be done to take it all back. Being 17 and at sixth-form, everyone i know parties with alcohol which is a pretty difficult thing to deal with as a person who's built up a pretty strong hatred of the stuff based on what it's done, so i now have the problem of instantly discriminating against people based on the fact they drink. I never go to parties or get involved in alcohol which while is probably more good than bad, it's pretty much the only thing anyone i know does to socialize, which means i'm rarely involved in anything because of my aversion to indulging in all that. Last year i steadily grew apart from one of my best friends because she started to meet new people through parties that she couldn't get with me, which upset me a lot, and i also lost an opportunity to get into a new friendship group because i wasn't partaking in any of the games they played.\nNow don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining about not getting invited to anything as to be honest, i don't really enjoy gatherings that much anyway. \n\n**But how can i get myself over distancing myself from people because of my aversion to alcohol?** I don't want to make anyone i meet in future feel put off, they give me enough weird looks already, but this is a problem i'm worried will cause issues for me in the future.", "summary": "I want to live as a teetotaler because of what I've seen alcohol do, but don't know how to do this without distancing myself socially."} {"id": "t3_2ygf86", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [31 M] with my ex [26 F] 2 years, visiting country where she lives.", "post": "So we broke up just under a year ago when I had to leave the country for work. We knew, being adults, that things would happen but would chose not to tell it each other. \n\nShe starting seeing someone else and is still going out with him now. Massively heartbreaking, i got depressed, it affected performance at work, got fired, found a new job doing what I wanted (bonus) and am on a work trip back to my home country. Have signalled to her that Ill be back for a while but have had limited response. \n\nAlso, pretty sure she's the one. How do i NOT f*&k this up?", "summary": "Broke up when I had to leave the country for work, back on a work trip now. How do I NOT f*&k this up?"} {"id": "t3_4i9js2", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [25F] have an office crush on [32M] - not sure if I should always make the first moves!", "post": "I made an account hoping I can get some advice. I started working in my current position a little less than a year ago. One day when I got off work, I noticed a cute guy getting off at the same time and he was being a gentleman letting me on/off the elevator first. Turns out he is in another department and his desk isn't too far from mine. For the next 5 months, we never spoke but I always noticed him and purposely went to microwave my lunch/ get water when I saw him do the same. Then our company had a huge Christmas party (over 3000 ppl) and I ran into him when I was getting my coat and he actually said hi! That was it. He also brought a girl but to me, didn't look like they were dating. \n\nThe next day we go back to work, we started to talk a bit over the next 5 months. Never long convos. I would notice he microwaves his lunch after me and he always goes \"oh no you beat me to the microwave!\" He made a few jokes about me being short and also sometimes when he walks behind me at my desk, he tapped on my shoulder and walked away. He has visited my desk 3-4 times but I've always been too shy to go to his desk.\n\nSuddenly a few days ago he had to move to another floor, he came by my desk to say bye. I really want to get to know him better and I'm devastated that I'm at a disadvantage now. I messaged him via our company internal system chat once and said he should lunch with me + my project manager (they're both Taiwanese and my PM is also my wingman lol.) He hasn't followed up, should I message him again / am I annoying to keep talking to him? What's the best way to advance? I don't even know if he's actually single!", "summary": "Have an office crush on a guy on my floor, now he moved to another floor. How do I advance our relationship, our only means of talking is company online messenger."} {"id": "t3_3fo7ir", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Changing jobs just after starting (xpost /r/advice)", "post": "I just graduated with my Canadian bachelor's a few months ago and started at a company (Company A) 2 weeks ago. While I was interviewing with Company A, I was also interviewing with Company B, but because they have a longer interview process, I only got a job offer after being at Company A for a week and the job start date is September 1st. I have now accepted the position at Company B.\n\nI took the job at Company A because I really, really needed the money and knew I wouldn't last until September. I am realizing that Company A is not one that I want to work for long-term and am now trying to decide on an exit strategy.\nI have realized that I don't like the working conditions or management and the job is menial at best. (I have caught up in 2 weeks to staff that have been there for 6-8 weeks, and they have education levels of 2-year diplomas AT BEST.)\nI suspect that I will get let go the moment I give notice and so I am tempted to give only 1 week of notice instead of 2.\n\nNote: I have yet to officially accept Company A's letter of proposal and it was only provided to me after I had already started there. In contrast, Company B already sent me an official offer and will be sending me the employment contract this week for advance reading.", "summary": "Should I inform my boss at my 2 week old job in 2 weeks(1 week notice) or next week(2 week notice) if I strongly suspect I will get let go immediately."} {"id": "t3_4i6cag", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Help and advice needed for a supporting S.O.", "post": "Not sure if this it the right place to post, but I figured you all may have some advice for me. \n\nMy girlfriend has been looking for a new job since the beginning of the year. She's stuck at her dead end job, working with clients she hates and nowhere to move up since the company is only 4 people. She's been applying non-stop and getting plenty of interviews! She must have had at least 25 interviews since the beginning of the year. Some of these interviews end up calling her back for second or even third interviews, which are very promising, but hurt the most when she gets the rejection... I'm always very supportive, asking her who she's interviewing with, what the focus of the company is, and trying to keep all of that straight to cheer her on when she goes to the company to interview or skype if its long distance. It's gotten to the point where she's incredible discouraged in herself thinking that she's unlikable or not knowledgeable or that her portfolio of work is bad.. Things where I try to turn it around to put a positive spin on things. She's a trooper for enduring this punishment for so long. Do any of you have any experience or advice to offer me as a supporting partner? \nThanks for reading.", "summary": "S.O. hates her job, has tons of interviews, gets rejected constantly, is now starting to doubt her abilities and likability. What more can I offer as a supporting S.O.?"} {"id": "t3_xj9si", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Has anyone else read the Fruit Loops Story?", "post": "I read this story on Reddit last September I believe, about a guy who gave oral to a girl he met. Nothing was too out of the ordinary about the situation until he put Fruit Loops inside of her to make things more interesting. Now from there, things get gross, when he was fishing the cereal out of her, some sort of membrane came out of her which freaked the guy out. I haven't been able to find this story since then, but I want to know if Reddit can help. I've used the Reddit search engine as well as Google, but no dice.", "summary": "guy gave oral to a girl using Fruit Loops, something other than Fruit Loops came out. Need help finding the post."} {"id": "t3_3ef6c5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] am going to a college halfway across the US from my [18F] girlfriend. I know the conventional advice, what are my alternatives?", "post": "I want to preface this by saying that I have read enough \"We are going to different colleges should I break up\" posts to know what the majority of Reddit's wisdom is on the subject. Just break up, you will both be better off. \n\nAnyway. Me and my girlfriend met senior year of high school and hit it off well. We became really good friends, and officially started \"going out\" and all around 4 months ago. We are going to different colleges that are halfway across the US from each other. We both will be flying back home for most breaks, like fall break, Christmas, spring break and all so it's not like we are stuck at the colleges for the entire school year. I have struggled a lot with what to do, and have completly avoided the subject of \"us\" post summer. She has too incidentally. Again I know what the \"worldly\" advice is, and that is breakup now and avoid a Christmas break fiasco type deal. I guess I am just grasping onto what I can to do stay together, and I wanted Reddit's advice on this problem overall. What would it be like in a LDR? If we broke up Christmas break this year or the next would it really be bad? I guess in the end it really depends on the couple, and we will have to have the conversation eventually. This is all assuming she would be willing to do a LDR with me (I'm thinking she will). I just wanted some more ideas in my head going into that talk other than my own and my mom's haha.", "summary": "Gf and I going to far away colleges. Break up or struggle with LDR. I already know what most will say, so any other Ideas?"} {"id": "t3_3b5yzt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Suspect wife (40F) of cheating tonight...help me (42M) stay sane.", "post": "UPDATED: \n\nMy wife has been traveling more for work the last 2 years, and frankly, our relationship has been up and down. She's working on the east coast this week, and we live on the west coast.\n\nWe share an Apple family account, and as a result, she shares her location. She is supposed to come home tomorrow, but had to do dinner with her work colleague this evening. I was texting her at midnight ET/9 PT about kids/pets issues, and I checked her location. She frequently complains about being tired, so I am little surprised to see she is not in her hotel. I figure the dinner ran late. About an hour later (1:30 am ET/10:30 PT), I again check her location and she's in a residential neighborhood. I check on Google maps, and there's not a hotel around...just houses.\n\nI called her several times (figuring maybe the Do Not Disturb function was enabled) trying to reach her, and she does not pick up.\n\nSo, here I am, seeing her location at some house in the city that she often travels to. She was texting me not long ago. I am not sure what to do now...\n\nDo I wake up early and see where the phone is? Just ask when she gets home why her phone was in a strange place? \n\nI don't want to jump to conclusions, but I am obviously uneasy about all this.\n\nWhat's my plan of action?", "summary": "Wife traveling for work across country. Checked her location via Apple. She's in a residential neighborhood no where near a hotel. It's 2 am where she is. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_50unng", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "First time post: Gf (22) and I (23) have been talking about our boundaries.", "post": "Okay so I'm going to say this as best as possible without sounding like a prude or being selfish or controlling. So my girlfriend and I have been together for the better part of 6 years now and we recently started talking about how she never went out and did \"fun\" (partying, drinking, etc.) things when she was younger (when we initially started dating). Recently she has been going out with her girlfriends to bars and to shows (edm) more often (which I definitely encourage because I want her to get out and be young) and she feels like I'm holding her back from having \"fun\" (to an extent) by being upset if she dances with someone or kisses someone (which she hasn't) Now I would just like to say that I am very monogamous and couldn't fathom the idea of being with another woman. She says she wouldn't kiss anyone but she doesn't like knowing the fact that if she did kiss someone or be intimate with someone else that she would have to worry about me being upset. I have talked with her about what my boundaries are and what is okay and what isn't in my opinion. I told her that I would in fact be upset if she ever did act on those urges as she would be cheating on me (dancing is a different story, I told her I don't mind if she jumps around and acts goofy, but once there is a level of physicality or intimacy that I wouldn't necessarily consider it cheating but I would feel very disrespected) any opinions of help on the matter would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "gf of 6 years has been going out and feels she shouldn't have to worry about me getting upset if she does things with another guy, but also doesn't want to hurt me."} {"id": "t3_10lhmh", "subreddit": "running", "title": "My good deed for the day", "post": "While doing one of our easier XC workouts today (300's at our 5k paces) i noticed some pain in the back of my knee similar to that of a pulled muscle, so I set off to visit the athletics trainer. It turned out that she had already left the school, so I dealt with it and returned to sit out the rest of practice. Getting to the point, while the slower group was going by on the track, I noticed that the last kid was falling behind a bit. As he was passing I decided to cheer him on a bit, and when I did he seemed to take note and kick things up a notch. Seeing his will to persevere and the fact that my words had motivated him, it made me feel accomplished despite my injury.", "summary": "I cheered on a slow kid at practice today and it gave him the motivation to push through the last bit of his 300m."} {"id": "t3_4zadav", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "First time dater [22M] dating [20F] needs advice", "post": "I've never dated anyone before so naturally I have a lot of insecurities so call me out if I'm saying nonsense.\n\nI've been dating a girl for the past 2 months which in my mind has surprisingly gone well, but I have yet to breach the question of what we actually are and what she thinks of me. I feel like I need to ask soon before I let myself actually fall to hard for this girl.\n\nSome of my concerns are that she broke up with her EX in January and I'm kind of nervous to see if she's still attached and don't know how to comfortably breach the question. \n\nAdditionally I've had to make all of the plans and always initiate texting, which sometimes takes her hours to respond to, and coming from an awkward guy this always gets me second guessing. Although this is true she does consistently agree to go out, but as insecure as I am I feel like she feels bad for me or something.", "summary": "I don't know what I'm doing and feel insecure all the time, how do I non awkwardly as possible ask this girl what she thinks of us?"} {"id": "t3_3psghd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[18/M] in first semester of college, trying to figure out if crush [18/F] was ever in to me", "post": "Gonna try and keep this brief, comment if you want more details.\n\nBasically there's a girl that I met not long ago on the beach; we talked for a while, seemed to connect, and then exchanged numbers. Fast foward a week later and she accepts when I offer to take her dancing at a dance club at my college. After the dancing is over she says she had fun and asks me to walk her to her dorm since it's now dark out and I oblige. \n\nThe topic of a feminist club pops into the conversation and she mentions that \"as a straight guy I'd probably be really popular there\". When we get to her dorm she gives me a hug and we part ways. Fast forward a while later and I ask her if she'd like to get lunch sometime but she never responds. \n\nDoes this mean she's definitely not interested? I thought I sensed some reciprocal interest at first, but maybe it was just my imagination.", "summary": "Does her implication that I could be popular with other girls as well as her apparent ignoral of my last message to her mean that she isn't interested in me?"} {"id": "t3_jcdp9", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Is getting an MBA from my alma mater a good or bad thing? I can't get a straight answer from anyone.", "post": "So, I recently graduated business school from a school in Georgia, Kennesaw State University, and I am planning on taking the GMAT very soon and hopefully applying for grad school either next spring or summer. I am 24, earned my undergrad while working fulltime all throughout college, but the experience is in call center customer service, which isn't in my field of study (marketing, though I did complete a cooperative study with my company, and did sales for a while). Kennesaw's grad school is ok from what I have read, if I apply for a local job, and don't expect to be CEO of an MNC. Plus the price is right for me. But there are other schools in the area that offer comparable or better programs. I know a lot of the faculty at KSU well, and the location is great for me, however I keep hearing from some people that companies don't hire candidates who get an MBA from the same school as their BBS. What are y'all's thoughts on this topic? And can you justify your stance?\n\nBonus question: Is anyone from GA with an MBA with recommendations for either KSU or other local schools' MBA programs? I've been looking and Ga State and Southern but can't decide.", "summary": "I need to know whether or not having an MBA from my alma mater will hurt me, and why or why not. Also, does anyone have recommendations for grad schools in GA?"} {"id": "t3_1uqioa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24m] am your stereotypical nice guy and I made some bad calls, now two ladies [21F][22F] are falling for me.", "post": "This might seem like a dream come truebut it's a nightmare for me. I'm your average guy who is approachable and is moderately liked by most people because, well, I'm nice - I would like to think.\n\nI've been single for an entire year now and four months after being single I started to pursue women I like, but nothing worked and I ended up being friends eith most of them. I thought to myself that I might be pursuing women the right way (in my book that means one woman at a time) so I decided to try going after two at the same time.\n\nCue November of 2013 and everything is doing well with the two ladies. I was so sure that I'll just have two more friends soon, but by December both have expressed interest to further the relationships we have. \n\nThe problem? I like them both equally. I don't know how to deal with this. I don't want to hurt anyone, my fault entirely.\n\nHow do I deal with this? Help.", "summary": "pursued two women at once, didn't expect them to like me more than they should have. Now torn between two lovers."} {"id": "t3_vco25", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why is your self-esteem the way that it is?", "post": "I personally believe self-esteem sometimes has nothing to do with the way we look. I grew up without a mother (she died at age 6) and a father who never felt I was good enough (despite a whole list of accomplishments). Since I never felt good enough for my parents I felt that I can never be good enough for anyone. Also, while I am an attractive female with media and everything else, I can never quite compete. I guess I've never felt good enough.\n\nSo Reddit, my question is why is your self-esteem the way that it is? Also, if it's high, how do you think people with low self-esteem can raise it?", "summary": "I have low self-esteem because I wasn't able to satisfy my parents. What's your self-esteem and why do you think it's that way?"} {"id": "t3_3oykpk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(28M) gay roommate(24M) won't stop sharing my info to the guys he talks with on grindr.", "post": "To give you a bit of some background of this situation. I'm gay and I also use grindr and sometimes I do hook up. I've known my gay roommate, Kev, for a while. He became our roommate after he left the military about 5 months ago. He also has a low opinion of me since moving in because I'm a pothead, currently quitting, and I don't take life to seriously. \n\nThe issue is that a couple of months ago, we had a conversation about our escapades. He then told me that he was talking to people about me. Now the people who he talked to about me are those who smoke pot. I was mad when he told me this and I asked him to stop. Kev just laughed it up but I told him I was serious and that he shouldn't be sharing my information to random guys and I thought he stopped. \n\nI honestly thought he stopped starring my info till yesterday. We were talking and he told me that he meet a guy and got high with him.But before they meet, Kev talked to him about me and shared my pics and info to see if we knew each other. I asked why he did that and he said \" since your a pothead and he's also. I just wanted to see if you too hooked up \". We did hook up and I told Kev that were now Eskimos brothers and he got upset. I told Kev to stop sharing my info and pics to his potential hook ups. I don't know how else to address this, since apparently he doesn't think it's a problem for him to do it. So r/relationship how do I go with dealing with this?", "summary": "my gay roommate keeps sharing my info to random guys and I told him to stop. But he still keeps doing it, and I don't know how else to adress this."} {"id": "t3_2i88nt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19F] boyfriend's sister [21F] keeps eating/finishing the food I buy", "post": "I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year now and have a good relationship with his family. I visit him often at his place, so I usually pay for my own snacks and bring them to his place so I don't have to impose on his family. This means bringing stuff like cookies, cereal, chips, and occasionally some refrigerated items.\n\nRecently, in the past 2 months, I've noticed that my food is going missing or the box has ended up in the recycling bin. I store all my food in my boyfriend's room, so I asked him if he was eating it and he said no. He found out that his sister was coming into his room, taking the food out and eating it in her own time. Normally, I would have no problem with this, but just within the last week, she's finished 2 boxes of cookies and 1 box of cereal that I purchased for myself. ):\n\nI pay for everything with the money that I earned from my summer job and I often go out of my way to buy my boyfriend dinner when I'm going to his place. Sometimes I stay over at night, and the food that I bring over is what I eat to prevent myself from going hungry as his family doesn't purchase groceries often. (Single dad goes out to eat and sister goes out to eat as well).\n\nAm I being unreasonable by getting upset about this? How do I bring this up .. I don't want to confront her about it because I have a really good relationship with her and she's in the same industry that I am currently studying to go into. I don't want to come off as rude, but it's just really bothering me. I have brought it up to my boyfriend and he tries to laugh it off and says he'll buy me more snacks, but I feel like in the end, I'm just using my own money to pay for them in the end. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "Boyfriend's sister eats snacks that I leave in my boyfriend's room by taking them out and finishes them. Bothers me because she's finished 3 boxes of my food within the past week. No idea how to confront her."} {"id": "t3_1zkknv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25M] with my girlfriend [25F] of 1 year. Expensive gifts.", "post": "About her: 25 years, female, have a child.\n\nAbout me: 25 years, male, good salary, I'm fine with child and we have more than friendly relationships with him.\n\nAbout us: 1 year together, not engaged or living together as of now, but things getting pretty serious out here and I know she feels the same way.\n\nFor the entire year everytime I suggest to help her with financial problems she refused it. She always tell me not buy anything expensive to her, and I didnt, because I'm really afraid that she might think that I'm trying to \"buy\" her or she will feel obligated to me in some way.\n\nI hear from her A LOT that she really want to go to a trip to Turkey with her kid (Doc's also told her that it'll be good for her son because of recent allergy). She were saving money for about half a year. We purchased the tickets (she payed her first 20% of the price), but some problems poped up and she had to spend rest of this money. She was really devastated and want to drop the idea.\n\nSo, I've decided, what the hell, It's 8th of March this weekends. I really want to go with her and her kid and I can pay for damn tickets. And this leads me to couple of questions.\n\n1. Trip cost 1k EUR for her and her kid. It's more than okay for me and she knows it. But will she accept this kind of gift from me?\n\n2. Since she still have all the documents I can't really buy like new tickets. This leaves me with only option and it's to gift cash money for her. But I'm having troubles imagining how can I wrap it up so it wouldn't look like a piece of envelope?\n\nThank you.", "summary": "GF refusing any kind of financial help. Dreaming about trip to Turkey that will also helps her kid. Want to buy tickets for her, afraid that she'll refuses."} {"id": "t3_lbaaw", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Condescending blood bank keeps calling me to go to blood drives all over the area. Will they take me off their call list if I lie and tell them I'm gay?", "post": "I'm a busy person, and don't have time to drive 30 miles to a certain blood drive on a certain day with an appointment at a certain quarter-hour in an area I'm not familiar with. I'm capable of showing up and donating blood at my own, and I've told them like 10 times over the past two years to leave me alone. They get a condescending guilt trip attitude, like, \"You don't want to help people in need?\".\n\nHow did they get my info in the first place? Because I donated on my own at a benefit drive, and a few times since then, on my own. Now, every single phone call starts with a 20 second script thanking me for helping in the past. Then they start going over my record.\n\nI thought about telling a lie, saying that I'm gay, and maybe then they'll take me off their list. But then, I might be banned from donating ever again since they might add that to my record, or even share it with other agencies. While I don't like being goaded into donating, I do enjoy donating when I can.", "summary": "Pushy blood bank or call center employees hired by the blood bank won't leave me alone, and they act like dicks."} {"id": "t3_3i9v2j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] and my Girlfriend [18 F] Of 7 months, just left to go to different college than me", "post": "Hi guys and gals, this is my first time on this subreddit so I apologize in advanced if my question isn't unique or whatever!\n\nAs I stated in the title I have been with my girlfriend for 7 months now. We began dating in our senior year of high school and it is now time for college and we are both attending a different university this year. We both agreed that we wanted to stay together by the way. Anyway, it hasn't even been a week and I am already finding myself bursting into tears over even the smallest things involving her. Also I am not really one of those people who cry all that often so this is all new to me!\n\nMy main question is kind of two parts, the first part being; how do I deal with being away from her! I will dive into that soon though. The second question is about her personality sort of... My girlfriend is how you say, not into the whole expressing feelings thing. Even after 7 months of a really healthy and happy relationship, she really just doesn't express feelings really ever. Yes she will tell me that she loves me but mostly only in response to me telling her that I love her. I guess you could say that I like to know that I am loved and that she appreciates me and yadda yadda.. Yes I'm sensitive. My question is, how do I cope with not being told the same things I tell her every single day, she is very big into party's and likes to get wild but she swears she would never hurt me and I trust her, it still concerns me nonetheless.\n\nSorry for all of the writing... I just want some advice I guess on how to cope with missing her so much when it doesn't really feel like she misses me even though she claims she does. Lastly I want to know how to handle someone who is like her, like someone who doesn't like to say feelings and whatnot. I don't want to scare her off by smothering! Hopefully someone took time out of their day to read this, I appreciate it wether you respond or not!\n\nThanks a lot Reddit! Hope to hear from you all!\n\n-Danny", "summary": "My girlfriend and I are in a LDR and I want to know how not to miss her so much and I want to know how to handle dating someone who is not as emotional or open to sharing feelings as I am."} {"id": "t3_1ymmlr", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "First time filling taxes as a student, where to start?", "post": "Typically in the past my parents file my taxes with their accountant, but he takes for ever and I typically don't see that glorious check until late May. This year as I'm graduating my undergraduate I wanted to file my taxes on my own to save my parents some money (No point in being charged several hundred dollars when I receive a little less than $1000 back) and see that check a lot earlier. the 1040EZ form seems simple enough (I've done 2 paper versions over the last two week to ensure I'm filling it out right before I go to an electronic version for submission), but it seems that I would have to claim myself as independent if I'm understanding correctly, which would mess with my parents taxes as they want to claim me as a dependent until I've moved out. \n\nAm I correct with this understanding, and if so how do I progress such that I can file separately (time wise) from my parents, ensure I receive my maximum amount back as a student (I will be returning for post-Grad study in the fall), without messing up my parents taxes.", "summary": "Want to file my taxes without going through parents account since he's slow (and usually late); they file me as a dependent."} {"id": "t3_333fs5", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "NSFW TIFU by my absolute lack of grace being a total bonerkiller", "post": "So this morning the mister and I are going at it and when we go to change positions, I dramatically throw myself over, which I had hoped would come out looking cute and sexy but obviously is much more like a fish flopping around out of water. My elbow goes flying around, bounces off the mattress, and my well-manicured and rather sharp-nailed finger flies up like a nose-seeking missile and buries itself inside my nostril. \n\nWow, slightly embarrassing, that stings, but we're sort of preoccupied and this is by far not the most distracting thing to happen during sex. Nor is it the first time I did something stupid and clumsy. Anyway, we get back to it. \n\nI have allergies and it's not that unusual for my nose to run a little so I don't realize the first drip as the harbinger of doom that it was. Then suddenly it's unleashed and blood is pouring out of my nose like a fountain. \n\nI don't want it to get all over the sheets so I shove him off and run to the bathroom to contain the damage. Nope, horror-movie scene going on, all down my chest and over my hands, and he's watching me rather concerned while I do that awkward hang-your-face-over-the-sink thing. \n\nFinally it stops and I get a chance to clean up. When I come out of the bathroom it becomes apparent that the sight of my prodigious nosebleed is a huge bonerkiller for the mister.", "summary": "Hit myself in the face while sexing, got horribly epic nosebleed, did not get to finish. D-, will not be trying any such athletic manuevers again."} {"id": "t3_2mgry6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by hugging a 12 year old whilst dressed as the honey monster", "post": "So a little back-story to begin; I go to a school in the UK which for two weeks during November participates in raising funds for various national children charities as part of the BBC's Children in Need. One of the events we usually organize is called the \"Hug-O-Gram\" which involves the younger students paying for a friend to be harassed and embarrassed by a costumed character during one of their lessons. This is run purely by volunteers from the 6th form (the equivalent to high schoolers in the U.S) and is a lot of fun for everyone involved. \n\nNow this is where I come in. Leading up to this event I'd been off school for a couple of days due to bad stomach aches and mild nausea. Not being one to miss out on all the fun I drag myself in on the Friday so I can get involved. Most of the day passes fluidly (probably due to the copious amounts of painkillers I'd used to numb the pain in my gut) until the last two periods. I'm approached by two of the 6th formers responsible for organizing the \"hug-o-gram\" who say they're struggling to find someone to dress up (as the honey monster). So I decide I might as well seen as I've missed all of the other fun events throughout the week. \n\nI get kitted up and start working my way through the list of \"victims\". Things are going smoothly and to my delight I'm dubbed \"the best honey monster so far\". I'm approaching the end of my shift with only a handful of kids left to go and traumatize when I start breaking out in a sweat and the pain in my stomach returns. I push on hoping that I can get this done before things get worse. \nThe next classroom I go into the nominated kid gives me a particularly forceful embrace and then it happens. Something just snaps and I projectile vomit inside of this rented costume and all over thie poor little bastard. Suddenly the sounds of laughter in the room turns to screams of horror and I drag myself out the room with sick still oozing out the mesh of the costume's visor. I've never been so mortified in my life. Anyway on the plus side our school raised over 2000 pounds for children in need.", "summary": "Gave a kid a hug dressed as the honey monster, threw up all over him and the insides of the costume."} {"id": "t3_1n1nni", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (25m) unexpectedly broke up with me (20f) and I don't know what to do.", "post": "We were doing great. We never had a big fight or disagreement. The biggest problem was the distance but we still got to see each other at least every other weekend. I know he has struggled with depression but I thought he was happy. He said he was happy and for the most part he acted happy. I was happy, I mean really happy for the first time I can remember. It was the most amazing relationship I could have asked for. \n\nThen a few days ago he just called me and ended it. He said he needed space and time to focus on him, that he wasn't happy with himself and that he never felt like he was right. He says I didn't do anything wrong and swears there is nobody else that he just needs time for him to fix himself. I do believe him he, was very upset and crying the whole time. He sounds like he hates himself which I don't understand because he is the most amazing person I have ever known. He really is, he is sweet, hard working, brilliant, giving, loving, great personality, and he is great to talk to about anything...just all around amazing. I want to help him but he just pushes me away. \n\nI am devastated. I had no idea that he wasn't happy. I can't understand it, a week ago I would have never thought this would happen. I don't know why I can't make him happy when he makes me so happy. I haven't been able to go more than a few minutes with out crying and I haven't slept since the break up. I just don't know what to do he was my best friend and I feel empty and lost without him. \n\nWe are still texting some he says he misses me but he just isn't happy. He says he wants us to have a chance later but he doesn't know if we will. I don't know what to do or what he wants me to do.", "summary": "My boyfriend unexpectedly broke up with me. He says he wants time to focus on himself. I am upset and don't know what to do. "} {"id": "t3_4777gs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm (30M) sick of socially freezing up at work.", "post": "To summarize a much longer story, I'm working a fairly well paying job that isn't necessarily in my native area. I've had a career setback recently that was largely outside of my control, and I'm working back up to where I want to be. \n\nIn the meantime, I handle marketing and online aspects for a company in an industry I'm not necessarily socially aligned with. I do my job well, but finding any socially common ground with much of my co-workers or their colleagues in other companies has been something that's always been a struggle for me.\n\nI'm typically a very confident and well spoken person, but I've found that I've largely frozen up here. I've found it extremely difficult to really converse with anyone here without feeling like an outcast or feeling somewhat ostracized. I've noticed that I've adapted by changing my personality a bit where I'm far more inward and withdrawn than I've ever been.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? I feel like it's becoming a huge problem for me the more it goes on, but I really have no idea how to tackle it as I share literally nothing in common with the people that I work with and I feel almost at times as if I'm from an entirely different country or any planet.", "summary": "I've become very socially withdrawn after dealing with an entirely different culture in an industry I'm not native to, I'd love advice on how I could stop myself from becoming a hermit."} {"id": "t3_163vo5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What if Facebook suddenly altered their algorithms secretly so that people received only a small fraction of the likes and comments on their wall? Would people become severely depressed?", "post": "This is more of a thought experiment more than anything. It all stemmed out of a noticeable decrease in activity in my newsfeed in the few years since leaving college. Now it's understandable, since I was fairly active in many clubs on campus, that those familiar red boxes were fairly ubiquitous whenever I signed onto Facebook. However, I still can't help to feel a little down when I come back from a 3-day vacation and the only notification I have is from my mom messaging to ask me if I was going to visit her soon.\n\nAnd then I remembered those moments of euphoria when I would post something or comment somewhere, and everyone would be liking or commenting back. I have to admit it felt pretty good. (Don't deny it, we've all reveled in our mini moments of \"fame\").\n\nExtrapolating from this, I could only imagine how a persons self esteem could be inextricably tied to their Facebook account (and consequently Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. but probably to a lesser degree). Of course it varies from person to person, but I'd bet that the vast majority of account holders would have medium/strong emotional ties to how active their Facebook is.\n\nSo what would happen if people only saw half the activity on their Facebook? Or even no activity at all for a few days? Would people just be kinda down? Or will our nation plunge into a massive prepubescent depression?", "summary": "Tis possible that FB activity = our emotional dependency. Given a FB conspiracy to suddenly decrease the numer of red boxes we all see on our profiles, will people lose their shit?"} {"id": "t3_mya7j", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm not even sure this exists, but;", "post": "Okay well I'll start this off with I'm not 100% sure I'm posting this in the right subreddit, or even if what I'm about to ask about even exists.. but here goes.\n\nI just recently got a job and decided that I should finally get around to cutting my hair, now I don't have extremely long hair, but for a guy it's pretty long, about down to my shoulders. \n\nI've always been told I've nice hair, thick, dark and well-kept and I was wondering if there was a place similar to \"Locks of Love\" that I could donate my hair to? \n\nNow I would donate it to Locks of Love, but my predicament is that I'd like to get it cut at a barber so it at least looks groomed instead of just chopped off, and what I'm asking is if there is a place that I can bag my hair and send it to via mail or even just dropping it off in the central Texas area that will accept it with open arms?", "summary": "Need to get hair cut, want to donate hair by sending it somewhere rather than getting it chopped off at LoL."} {"id": "t3_1fbri6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[16/m] Broke up with my [16/f] long-distance girlfriend.", "post": "OK, so here's the deal. About a month ago, I broke up with my girlfriend, we were doing the whole long-distance thing. In the moment I was completely taken by emotions,(hormones too.) and I told her how much I cared for her, even told her I loved her.(First time I've ever said that to a girl.) In response, she told me she didn't feel the same anymore, and she just wanted to be friends.\n\nShe had started to become distant weeks before, and I knew it wasn't working... Anyway, several days ago, she sent me a email, asking to talk on Skype. So I accepted, and the next day we talk. All she wanted to do was have small talk. I was fairly offended, and cut her off, and logged off. At this point, I'm not really sure what I should do next. And I was hoping Reddit could give me some ideas, or whatever.", "summary": "Broke up with my long-distance girlfriend, started talking to her a month later, all she had to say was smalltalk. No idea what to do next."} {"id": "t3_1frqx8", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Help with biting dog!", "post": "My husband and I own a two year old Lab/Blue Heeler mix named Cain. Because he his half Blue Heeler he has the tendency to be territorial. Typically he is very friendly. Both my husband and I have brought him on college campuses, parks, other people's houses, etc. without issue. He has never had a problem with people coming to our house either. However, he has had two instances of biting another person. \n\nThe first was about a year ago. I was with him at my parents house when someone came over. I let him inside, we walked up to the gentleman (who was sitting), and without any warning bit him in the arm. He barked a little after that but backed away rather quickly. \n\nThe second instance was 5 days ago. Cain was outside with my husband when a woman walked down our street. Admittedly, he wasn't on a leash and that is completely our fault. Cain ran up to the woman and growled a little bit. The woman stuck her hand out to him and he bit it. He immediately ran away back into our yard and looked like he knew he did something wrong. The woman reported it to the city. They were surprisingly nice about it. \n\nI am concerned because this is his second bite (though only first reported). Our city has a 3 bite policy before a dog gets put down. My husband and I aren't completely sure what to do at this point. We think his behavior may stem from fear. He doesn't like being alone for long periods of time. He is also afraid of the dark and will not go into our yard at night without barking a decent amount first. We have looked into training classes for him which can be pricey. We can't start him in anything for at least another month and a half since we are moving soon. Our new place does have a completely fenced in back yard which I hope will help in this situation. We are still worried and were hoping you all would have some advice.", "summary": "Our typically friendly 2 year old Lab/Blue Heeler mix has bitten 2 people. We aren't sure what to do at this point."} {"id": "t3_14ng80", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "The people i hang out with keep calling me a \"Buzz Kill\" What do?", "post": "What would happen is somebody would crack a joke and i would ask a question or try to make another joke so its a flow of laughter (Nothings wrong with my humor because they laugh at everything as long as its not after someone else.)I end up being called a \"Buzz Kill\" and the main dick makes a family guy joke and then everyone laughs and im left feeling quite frustrated because of their reactions.Im really sick of it now because this same person re-uses the same jokes everyday and thinks it funny but really you can tell he's craving attention.I know that it just means im interfering with their ideas but why would you react like that in the first place if you know what im doing,Or is it you just don't want the spotlight on me for 5 seconds and you get all the glory?Now everyone is calling me a buzz kill.", "summary": "These \"Friends\" of mine make shitty jokes,everyone laughs,I carry the joke on,Get called a \"Buzz kill\",Family guy joke,Everyone laughs,Im frustrated,What do?"} {"id": "t3_26kqod", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Is going to David's Bridal *JUST* to look a terrible idea?", "post": "So, my wonderful /r/weddingplanning people (my new family, now that I'm engaged...ahhhh!), I need some advice. \n\nAs I stated, I am newly engaged, as of yesterday. We aren't planning on getting married until 2016, so I have plenty of time to plan. However, we've been discussing our plans for our wedding for quite awhile, so I already know basically what I want on most levels, and just need to find the realistic options. \n\nThis includes my dress. I know the exact style I want, the fabric, and the color, the choice will just come down to how much detail is on the dress itself. \n\nI don't plan on going dress shopping seriously for about a year, but I am going down to visit my mom in a few weeks, and she wants to go dress \"looking\" with me while I'm there. \n\nI already told her if we go I don't want to go for very long, because my fiance will be at home with me, and I don't want to leave him alone with no one to hang out with for forever. \n\nSO! My idea is to go to David's Bridal with my mom for an hour or two. I don't plan on buying from them, because of all the horror stories I've heard, and I figure they have enough of a selection that I can show her the basic style I'm looking for. \n\nIs this idea idiotic? Am I going to randomly fall in love with a dress from a store I never want to give money too just because I'm emotional and with my mom and then freak out because I didn't want to buy it yet?", "summary": "Is it stupid to go dress shopping at David's Bridal when I have no intention or ability to buy a dress just yet?*"} {"id": "t3_2up8ye", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend [20/F] of 6 months is upset about seeing one of my [22/M] female friends on my phone", "post": "I've been dating this girl for a little over 6 months and I'm pretty crazy about her. She's legitimately the most interesting and fun girl I've ever dated. However, she tends to be a bit insecure, which is what I think it causing the majority of the issue.\n\nBasically, I was laying in bed with her and sent a Snapchat picture to one of her friends (she asked me to). In the send screen, she saw the name of one of my female friends that she's seen me talking to before. Now, to give a little backstory, my friends would tease me about being the phone-girl's boyfriend before I was dating my current girlfriend while my current girlfriend was around (we were friends before we dated). This was obviously never the case but you can see why it'd bother my SO.\n\nShe got really upset about seeing her name and shyly/not very assertively asked me to remove her. I love this girl so obviously I did it. However, I *AM* friends with the phone-girl, so I feel bad for removing her from my snapchat (and basically my life if I want my girlfriend to be happy). \n\nWhat do I do? Is there any way I can convince my girlfriend to not be insecure about the situation?", "summary": "Girlfriend is insecure about one of my female friends and wants me to cut her out of my life. I don't know how to do this without hurting anybody."} {"id": "t3_4czj3f", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [21M] fell for her[21F] again.", "post": "hey this will be quite a long story but please read it out as I couldn't believe this happened again. I will be as brief as possible.\n\nOkay it all started when i was in year 8 (7 years ago), when i started to have this small crush on this girl (her). It slowly grew as time passed by. A year later, i confessed and unfortunately was rejected. Due to me being really soft and sensitive, i was pretty devastated. It was the first heartbreak i have ever experienced.\n\nTime passed (1-2years) and there was i still having feelings for her. Things immediately changed when I was told by my family that i was moving to Australia (was studying high school in Malaysia). After being a year in Australia, i realised i was starting to move on. We sometimes occasionally chat as good friends during the time we were far away.\n\nFast forward to present day, out of all possibilities, she has also moved to Australia and currently studying in the same city as i am in. Unfortunately, because now that we occasionally see each other now, I realised i have fallen for her again, and a lot deeper this time. Take note that so far in my life, i have only had 2 crushes, her and a small one few years back.\n\nI could not actually believe i would fall for her again. I told one of my best friends and he is pretty concerned too since he said there is no chance we are gonna date. Reason being too close as friends, rejected before etc etc. Now that i have also fallen deeper, i can't seem to move on. I now hate the fact that out of all the places and chances she actually ended up here with me. Such a curse.\n\nShe still doesn't know that i started having feelings for her again. What should i do?", "summary": "Had a school crush 7 years ago in another country. Rejected me, devastated and heartbroken. Moved to Australia and moved on. Now she moved to the same place as me. Fell for her again. In deep trouble."} {"id": "t3_1x5e0v", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "Last minute trip to Las Vegas! HELP!!!", "post": "So me and my girlfriend (both 23y/o) had a surf trip planned to Costa Rica scheduled for this morning. Unfortunately due to weather the flight was cancelled and there were no other options within the next few days, and since we go back to work on feb 14th, we were kinda screwed. So instead we booked a trip to Las vegas, as the last minute deals were cheap and we thought it would be a fun trip as well! We have decided to rent a car (and because were under 25 they left no holes unpenetrated).\n\nHeres our hastily made itinerary:\nfeb 6-arrive in vegas at 10am, cruise the strip, gamble a small amount of money, maybe see a show. \n7-Drive to flagstaff, see the wupatki monument, and maybe explore flagstaff (not exactly sure what the plan is for the rest of the day)\n8 -Grand canyon, hiking, adventure/explore the canyon\n9-rent a bike(not motorized) and try to find some mountain biking spots\n10- Head back west->see boulder city/hoover dam\n11-zion national park\n12- valley of fire\n13, plane home leaves at 930am\n\nWere pretty fit, love camping hiking and the outdoors. I am a much bigger fan of natural beauty than architecture.\n\nIf", "summary": "Were an outdoorsy couple of 23 year olds looking for ideas and recommendations on what to do near vegas, as we only had half a day to plan."} {"id": "t3_13id40", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend \"cyber sexed\" another girl...told me almost immediately, wants to make it work. Advice?", "post": "Throwaway, because...yeah.\n\nSituation:\n\nMe(F/23) and SO (M/25) have been seriously dating for around 11 months now. It's a long, convoluted road that got us here...we began as FWB but eventually realized we liked each other, then finally *loved* each other...and, in the past three weeks, everything's been about as good as it can get. But after I got out of work yesterday, he dropped the bomb.\n\nTwo nights ago, after we'd spent the weekend together, he drank a fifth of bourbon out of pure depression. Girl that he used to be on-again-off-again with began sending him sexts, he returned them, finally suggesting they should do it \"so he can see it\"(", "summary": "Boyfriend cyber-sexed another girl, told me almost immediately, but waited until he did so to kick the other girl out of his life. "} {"id": "t3_2rg46a", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being friendly to dogs and ending up half naked on the street", "post": "So im 16 and my mom is untrustworthy of me i guess because we live in a \"bad\" good neighborhood so its more of a safety thing. So she let me walk 2 blocks to a food store to buy some food.\n\nBackstory to the dogs: I know these dogs (2 pitbulls and their 2 puppies) and watched them grow up. Their owner is a neighbor whose family goes in and out of jails, and their kid my age is in jail for either assault, robbery or murder i dont know but he also has like those tear drop tattoos. They have had all kinds of dogs, which mysteriously disappear after a few months. So being so kind, and having a dog of my own, i wanted these dogs to last a long time. \n\nThey find me one block from my house and they looked starved. I really liked them and felt bad for the 2 puppies and grown dogs. I took out a piece of bread, tore it to pieces and fed them. They were so grateful and kept following me. These dogs, i tell you, jump super high. And my negligent neighbors never cut their nails. I was wearing some gym shorts- the kind with the little holes all around them. Their little and big claws go into the shorts holes and get stuck. But these dogs are like sheer power and they tear off my shorts. I drop the food i bought to pick up the shorts. The two bigger dogs keep jumping on me while im on the ground and sort of tear my shirt. So I end up all clawed and scratched with some blood around my body and the two puppies and dogs chewed through the plastic bags and got some food.\n\nthe shorts were torn and were unwearable. I got home and my mom asked what happened. She thinks someone raped me and whatever and doesnt let me go out. So yeah i guess walking on the street semi naked with scratch marks is a good fuck up.", "summary": "was nice to dogs, they were happy and i ended up semi clothesless on the street when they jumped and tore off my clothes. They then ate the stuff i bought."} {"id": "t3_4zjt69", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21m) get very quickly and intensely infatuated with a girl (22f) who has a boyfriend", "post": "Edit: Title should be got, not get\n\nOkay so I want to start off saying that I have no intention of pursuing her at all, we get along really well and I don't want to screw that up. I recently broke up with my girlfriend about two weeks ago and have been in a really fragile place emotionally, it's been really easy for me to become infatuated with people, which I hate. So four days ago I started a new job with a group of amazing people, but one girl really stood out. She was stunning, we have loads in common and we have great chemistry (just that we get on well, not romantically). So unsurprisingly I developed feelings really quickly and intensely, I wasn't going to do anything because I figured i'm still just in a strange emotional place. However, today she told me she has a boyfriend, and when she said that I honestly have never felt my gut drop so hard and fast. It was the complete opposite of my original feelings, and it still kind of hurts. \n\nSo, does anyone have any advice of how I can move past my feelings without being hurt continuously? I can really see us being great friends in the future, and I don't want to lose that.", "summary": "Became quickly infatuated with a girl who has a boyfriend, still want to be friends with her but don't want to continue feeling like this."} {"id": "t3_1sup1e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18M] broke my girlfriends [18F] trust, where do I go from here?", "post": "Hi reddit, not going to beat around the bush, I really messed up. I knew my girlfriend was fragile due to the fact that she had been cheated on in the past, and was also very conscious about how she looked. I've spent the entirety of our relationship (1 year 1 month) building her up and she had gotten to the point where she would tell me all the time that she was so much more confident and loved that she finally had a boyfriend she trusted and that loved her for her.\n\nWell that changed a week ago. We are in a LDR as I am at college and she is back in our hometown. She got on her computer and noticed I was still logged onto Facebook. For whatever reason she went through my search history and discovered that I had been looking up other girls from our school, and (her comes the part I feel terrible about), rightfully assumed I had been masturbating to their pictures. It had been happening for quite sometime and although I had felt bad about it for quite some time I never thought she would find out and that it would hurt this much.\n\nNeedless to say she is crushed, her confidence is gone and now she has to go to school and look at these girls (we are from a small town, there's no avoiding it), everyday. She has chosen to stay with me because regardless of what our age might say, we are very serious and, despite my obvious shortcoming in this situation, we are both mature about it. I love her and want to do whatever it takes to earn her trust back, and I realize this will take time. What can I do to start the process, and what are some things I can avoid along the way? \n\nAny help is appreciated and I thank you all greatly ahead of time.", "summary": "masturbated to pictures of my gf's friends on Facebook, she is heartbroken, need to know where to start fixing this.."} {"id": "t3_feyku", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "For anyone that likes jiffy pop, have you noticed a horrendous decline in the quality lately? Or am I unlucky?", "post": "I usually buy jiffy pop alot, eat it once a week with a movie with my love. A few months ago I got 2 pack, opened it and started making it. It EXPLODED hot butter all over the stove and the side of it came out, like the aluminum wasn't put in right. I was like ok, it happens. Second one did the same thing. I called them and told them hey, some kid is gonna get hurt. Watch your quality. Send me some coupons for free popcorn. Awesome. Last week I got another batch, after months of not having it, waiting maybe for stick to clear. Different batch number and all. This time the wire holding it popped out and butter spewed everywhere. Second one started up and a hole ripped in it and stuff came out. Damn, is it my luck or are they making it shitty now?", "summary": "Jiffy Pop I buy for the past few months all explode and have holes and shoddy quality. Am I unlucky or is it happening to you guys too?"} {"id": "t3_2yp4k2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Last night I (M/20) told my GF (18) of a year and a half that I'm worried her getting more tattoos might make her less attractive to me, now she's not talking to me. How badly did I fuck up?", "post": "I love my girlfriend, more than anything, we're even planning on moving in togther this summer. She's been wanting to get all these big colorful tattoos ever since her 18th birthday, she's on her 3rd now. I don't like them, I'd much rather look at her beautiful skin than a bunch of drawings. I've never tried to stop her, I would never do that. I haven't been exactly supportive either though, I usually try to change the subject when she starts talking about any new pieces she wants to get. This happened last night until she called me out on it and hounded me to tell her why I'm not supportive of her getting them done. That's when it slipped out. All I got from her was a \"Wow\" before she got up and left. I didn't really think about how selfish and shallow that was of me to say until this morning. I really don't want us to break up over stupid tattoos, but I think I crossed the line last night. What can I do to fix this? Was it good I brought it up or should I have just kept my mouth shut?", "summary": "I admitted to my girlfriend that her getting more tattoos could make her less attractive to me. Did I cross the line?"} {"id": "t3_379hx3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "27F with my coworker, dear friend, long-time crush 29M. He does some drugs, I don't do any.", "post": "Wonderful guy 29M who I've worked with forever and who has had my back through thick and thin for many years. I've been harboring strong feelings for him for a long time. We'd discussed dating once years ago but basically he and I have never been single at the same time til now.\n\nHe and his friends smoke weed and do coke on the weekends. From our coworker/friendly interactions, that's never been an issue for us. He/his friends have obviously never pressured me to do anything, and he's always sober and fine when it's time for work.\n\nLast weekend he kissed me. I've been over the moon about this, but also nervous that our different stances on drugs will now become a problem. I know I don't want any substances in my house or car. I haven't figured out where else it will come up, but I'd like to anticipate how else this might be a hurdle. \n\nCan anyone share experience/tips/insight with this situation?", "summary": "27F kissed friend/long-time crush 29M. I'm clean, he does some drugs. Any chance this can work?"} {"id": "t3_4yjktx", "subreddit": "self", "title": "I almost got hit by a car today [drawing included].", "post": "I feel so fucking stupid. \n\nI was walking from my house to a bus stop across a busy street. Normally I'd take a crosswalk that not too far away but I saw my bus coming and knew I'd miss it if I used the crosswalk. I noticed there was a lag in cars so I decided to bolt across the street - I didn't even see that red mustang. I saw her hesitate so I ran past her and was inches from being hit. She didn't honk or anything. \n\nI got on the bus (thankfully the driver let me in) and he says \"It ain't worth it man. I've seen it happen\". I muttered \"I know\" and sat quietly - mortified. \n\nHe was right - it absolutely wasn't worth it. What if I actually got hit? It would be death or weeks of recovery. Jesus. All to save like 15 minutes. \n\nI will use that fucking crosswalk from now on I swear. I don't give a shit if the bus is coming or not. If I miss it I'll just catch the next one. \n\nTo remind myself of this blunder I set an IFTT (If this than that) notification so that when I approach that street it sends me a push notification saying:\n\n>Remember that time you almost got hit by that mustang? Use the crosswalk!\n\nPicture of intersection: \n\nAnyhow, I'm beating myself up about this because to anyone who saw they probably thought \"Wow, what a fucking idiot\" and nobody wants to be that guy. I guess now I can empathize with that guy. I'm a relatively smart man that did something incredibly stupid and sometimes that happens.", "summary": "Tried to catch a bus to save minutes on my commute and almost got hit by a car. Lesson learned."} {"id": "t3_4d3q6u", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "My dad just asked me and my sister to co-sign on a 60k loan for his legal fees", "post": "My sister and I both have good credit and we both have just been asked by our dad (not so good credit) to co-sign a loan so that he can pay his lawyers and hopefully clear his name. He's never been in trouble with the law before and has already spent 30K to his lawyers so far, he's trying to do everything right, unfortunately he doesn't have a lot saved up. I'm a little emotionally overwhelmed and am doing my best to research about co-signing and am finding that the general census is that it's not a smart thing to do. As much as I would like to see my dad fight and win, I'm at a point in my life where I can see myself getting married and buying a house in the near future. (Fwiw - I'm 31, my student loans and car are paid off, I've been saving up for a 20% downpayment, and I'm in a LTR that I wanna stay in. )\n\nMy sister has already turned him down and would rather just give him money from her emergency fund, I could do the same. Between the two of us we could probably give him 15k, but that feels like drop in the bucket...\n\nI heard my sister talking to him about peer-to-peer lending but that it only goes up to 40k. How possible is it to get that amount with bad credit? What is P2P lending exactly and how does it work? Is that a better idea? Maybe then he could take a loan out by himself from his bank for the remainder? idk....\n\nSuper stressed about this situation, He asked me two days ago and it sounds like he's looking to get the loan signed this weekend and I know I have to shoot him down, I'm hoping I could at least have a \"No, dad, I can't co-sign on a 60k loan but you could do ____\" conversation.", "summary": "Dad wants me co-sign on a 60k loan, I want to help him but I don't want to mess up my good credit when I might need it for near future Life Events."} {"id": "t3_2tnibb", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by admitting my feelings for my best friend", "post": "So I've liked him for quite awhile, but he's always had a girlfriend. They recently broke up. I didn't immediately tell him or try to make a move because obviously he was still getting over his three-year-long relationship. Now it's been a couple of months and I've felt like he may have feelings for me too. We text all day, every day, and hang out almost every day. One of our mutual friends even told me of this guys interest in me. I still didn't want to be too aggressive, but then last night I got drunk. Really drunk. I was all over him at this party we were at. He was completely sober because he's taking a break from all substances for awhile. Eventually my roommate took me home\u2014I wasn't doing too hot. When I woke up I had a text from him saying \"we need to talk\". I knew that wasn't good and I had totally embarrassed myself. \n\nSo I was feeling like shit all morning, then my roommate and I went for a walk. I knew she had been talking to him about it, so I asked what her opinion on the situation was. She basically told me straight up that he has no interest and doesn't want something stupid like this to ruin our friendship. \nHe went away for the day with some of our other friends, so we still haven't talked; however, I think I know what the conversation will be like. I just feel really stupid. We've been friends for so long and I was drunk so I don't think it will necessarily ruin our friendship, but it'll definitely be weird for awhile. I can't really imagine our friendship staying the same though. I mean, I don't think I can hang out with him everyday and continue to text constantly and keep myself from developing feelings for him.", "summary": "I got drunk, tried to hook up with my best friend, he totally rejected me, and now I'm worried for our friendship."} {"id": "t3_2qszsh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my GF [22 F] of 11 months, Just caught Facebook messages", "post": "My girlfriend [22 F] and I [24 M] have been together for 11 months and everything has been amazing, we are planning to move in together next month and I couldn't be happier about it.\n\n\u00a0\n\nHowever, tonight she has gone away with a group of our friends for New Years. I'm going down tomorrow night to meet up with them, I couldn't go down with her due to work. So I'm sitting at home alone, watching some tv when I decide to use her iPad to watch some YouTube videos. We are very open about each others phones etc.\nI turn on the ipad and a Facebook chat message appears from a guy who is attending New Years with our group of friends. I haven't met him before.\n\n\u00a0\n\nIt says:\n\n\"[girlfriends name] ur a shit fk lefts havsex lol joke but seriously if you want lel. :)\"\n\nFollowed by her replying: \n\n\"Ur shit [his name].... I have a boyfri3nd! Otherwise maybe\" \n\n\u00a0\n\nWhen I see this, I'm angry and upset to say the least. I know she is already drunk too. I call her twice to which I receive no answer and after that I send a text message asking her to call me asap.\n\n\u00a0\n\nWhen she calls me and I tell her I turned on the ipad she instantly knows what I'm about to say. \nShort story, she tells me it's a joke that they had going on and I don't understand because I'm not there. Our phone conversation goes on for a while and during this time another message comes through from him, saying:\n\n\"Oh you would too I didnt bring a sleeping bag did u???\"\n\nWe talk a little longer and she insists that it's a joke and she didn't mean it the way it sounds.\n\n\u00a0\n\nI simply can't understand how this is a joke in any context, especially when you have a boyfriend.\n\n\u00a0\n\nAm I over reacting to this? What should I take from finding these messages? Any advise here would be amazing!", "summary": "Girlfriend messaging random guy she is with tonight, basically said she would have sex with him if she wasn't with me"} {"id": "t3_2kzopn", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by trying to get my learner's permit", "post": "In case you don't know, you need a lot of paperwork to get your learner's permit for driving in the US. Before I left to go to the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles), I made sure I had my passport, social security card, parental approval form, doctor's form, etc etc.\n\nI was a little nervous for the test, but I ended up getting only one question wrong.\n\nWaiting to get my paperwork looked over, I was pretty pleased with myself. I thought I was to get my permit and everything would be great. And then the guy checked my medical form.\n\n*Oh shit.*\n\nYou're supposed to have your doctor check off disorders or diseases that you have that would inhibit your ability to drive. I had none of those, so I thought I was fine.\n\nMy doctor misread the form and checked them all off. According to her, I have:\n\n* a neurological disorder\n\n* a neuropsychiatric disorder\n\n* a circulatory disorder\n\n* cardiac problems\n\n* hypertension\n\n* **two** cases of uncontrolled epilepsy\n\n* cognitive impairment\n\n* an addiction to drugs and alcohol\n\nThanks, doc. Way to read instructions.\n\nBelieve it or not, I didn't receive my permit.\n\n[The form in question.](", "summary": "I tried to get my learner's permit, my doctor accidentally said I'm an insane epileptic druggie. Did not get permit."} {"id": "t3_4pss13", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Owe about $2,000 from subsidized loan for school. Have not made one payment. Will it affect my credit?", "post": "I started going back to school at a community college when I was 25 because the job I had was really chill and it worked perfectly with going to class. Than half way through the semester I got a big promotion, where I am making the most I ever have ($39,000 annually).The only thing is the job is on call 24-7, and I had to start missing classes because it was 8am-5pm, as opposed to 2p-10pm which I worked when I was in school. Class was at 12. And I had to jump at the opportunity or it would have passed to someone else. So I owe around $2,000 for classes I had never finished. I've been kind of bitter about it, which is why I haven't paid it. Plus the lack of money from apartment, see below.\n\nI don't have any credit, and I'm 27 now. I found out I need good credit to move in anywhere in this city (Denver). At least where I want to, which is near downtown and my job. I'm living at a really shitty studio downtown now, and I mean shitty. I had to pay 1600 for a deposit plus first months rent, which wiped out my savings. I really need credit before my lease is up in April. I just got a Capitol one credit card, with a $300 limit, after trying to get a credit card forever. Well, in seven days I will get the card thanks to this subreddit. \n\nSo my question is, does not paying a subsidized loan affect my credit? Because I checked credit karma and it doesn't show up anywhere, and I still don't have a score. And what is a way I can get enough credit (650) by April of 2017?", "summary": "Went to school. Had to drop out because of promotion. Got loans that I haven't paid. Need credit to move in to a halfway decent apartment."} {"id": "t3_snfwu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I think I pulled this off the wrongest way possible. I feel bad now.", "post": "Hello!\n\nMe (M18) and her (F18) have been dating for nearly 11 months. This has been the first relationship for both of us.\n\nRecently I have felt like I have just been kind of \"playing along\" in our relationship. I have responded to her I love you's and all other things to keep her from worrying. Our relationship has been stable but I haven't felt completely satisfied and felt like there was something missing. She wanted us to move together after next autumn, which had made me feel anxious. I had kept my feelings hidden until last Friday when I dropped the bomb. I thought she deserved my honest opinion about how I felt about the future of our relationship so I bluntly told her I wasn't sure about my feelings towards her anymore and suggested we took a break. She was devastated to say the least. There were no signs of this beforehand. What I told her was like a lightning out of a blue sky.\n\nLater that evening she called and told me I had wrecked her self-esteem and insulted her by telling her how I felt. We even had sex the day before (which I now think was a huge mistake) and she felt like I took an advantage of her body. She said she can't forgive what I told her but she also wants to give this relationship another shot. I don't believe a second shot would improve things much... I'm also really worried about her because she has had serious depression in the past and our relationship has played a major role in helping her out of it.\n\nI'm planning on meeting her tomorrow to plan how we'll go on from here. The way she reacted earlier made me feel we can't go back together anymore even if we had a break.", "summary": "I had been faking happiness for the past few months and shattered my girlfriend's feelings by telling her about my true feelings."} {"id": "t3_129atj", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I am going to get back together with my ex-fiance.", "post": "Normally I would not even consider this, it is not a typical thing for me to even consider being with someone I was with once if it didn't work out the first time. However the reason we didn't work out the first time is we were far too young to attempt such a commitment, and still very immature. I was 18, he was 19 and when I realized what kind of commitment I was attempting to make it freaked me out and I took the cowards way out by finding someone else to be with. It was childish and irresponsible and I have always felt like a terrible person for it.\n\nSince then, he has always been a small part of my life. He was still in touch with a lot of my family and would check up on me occasionally to see how I was doing, and vice versa. It has been about 3 years since we ended things and in that time we have had the chance to experience things and mature a tad bit more. I am more confident in my life, and I am doing the best I have since high school. My deployment when I was 19 changed a lot of things for me as well, and I am finally back on my own two feet again. it's better than that though, I am excelling. My lowest grade is a 97 in my classes, I am involved with clubs, and I am getting out and meeting people on my own; even attending parties and socializing. In high school my grades were crap, I hated people and was too afraid to talk to them; and then after my deployment I was too scared to leave my house (I have never talked about that, and it is a totally different subject but I am better now) and it was too the point that I never even got my mail key because that involved talking to someone i didn't know and going to a place I had never been. I live in a student apartment now (think dorms but it's an efficiency so no roommate), and I am getting around by myself; no longer afraid of my own shadow. I feel fantastic, and having him involved makes it even better.", "summary": "My fiance and I broke up because we were too young to make a commitment like that one we were trying to, now after a couple years have gone by, we will be getting back together. "} {"id": "t3_363nn6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By Flicking A Lighter At My Grilfriend", "post": "So this fuckup actually happened yesterday at my girlfriend's (we'll use K to represent her) high school graduation. Well, like most high school graduations it was very long and drawn out but I stayed there for her. As all the graduates are moving to leave after the ceremony is over, I'm standing there waiting for her. She approaches and hugs me and it's all good in the hood. Well, here's where the fuckup begins. K and I are regular smokers and as a result we always have lighters on us. Occasionally we'll flick the lighters and hold the flame close to the other for a second. Not enough to set them on fire or even touch their skin, just enough to make them jump. Well, I decide to flick my lighter at her at this moment. Little did I know that during her preparation and getting all gussied up for graduation, she sprayed A LOT of hair spray on her hair. So as I flick my lighter in the general vicinity of her face, there's this flash and flame leaps up from her hair. I have an, \"Oh shit,\" moment and quickly put the fire out with my hand and she just stares at me in disbelief. I can tell she's questioning her life decisions that have led her to be in a relationship with me. As K's mother approaches she remarks, \"Do either of you smell something burnig?\"", "summary": "I flicked a lighter at my girlfriend to make her jump, didn't realize she had used hairspray earlier, caught her hair on fire."} {"id": "t3_3aw029", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Just made it out of the friend zone. Now she might be having second thoughts? (17M)", "post": "My friend, we'll call her Arwen (16F), liked\nA guy before me. A good friend of mine. I\nHelped them get into a relationship but just when they started, they ended it because he was too involved in his studies. \nI liked her but she saw me as a really good friend. This is where things got good.\n\nAfter their relationship ended, Arwen and I talked on the banister overlooking my school's track and field. I told her that another girl was starting to grow on me.\nAfter we were talking about how our relationships wouldn't work out, she told me that she actually had a crush on me. \n\nThe day after, she and I talked about starting to do stuff together over the summer and now it's summer and she either shoots me down (Happened 4 times) or sporadically texts back.\n She definitely has her phone but she isn't answering. \n\nWhat do I do now? Is she having second thoughs?", "summary": "Came out of friend zone. She and I want to date and hang out over summer. She doesn't text back and might be having second thoughts."} {"id": "t3_jxcts", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I love my fiancee", "post": "This past week, I've been going through an emotional crisis, considered cheating on my fiancee, wondering about paying college girls for sex, looked to prostitution, even thought of flying somewhere just to have sex on the side. I learned from other redditors that cheating hurts, heard about the other side, it will tear her apart, and that I should either stay or leave, but not cheat. At least I owe her that much.\n\nI asked myself, \"who will this hurt\", and it seems like it will hurt no one at first. She doesn't have to know, maybe I'll just do it this one time to \"get it over with\". But I know that I will have to live with this for the rest of my life, and she with hers. There's no way I can sleep with her at night, knowing that I lied to her. I always tell her to be faithful, it's easier to tell someone else to do that as always.\n\nI need to man up, I need to realize that the world doesn't owe me shit. I don't deserve all the sex in the world, all the 18-year old college tails. One man, one woman. That's more than I can ask for, and more than what many people have. I'm lucky to have her. I'm sorry to all the foreveraloners out there, for underestimating what I have, for having my head stuck in my ass, for not seeing, that I'm lucky to have what I have with her.\n\nAs redditor turingheuristic said \"the perfect is the enemy of the good.\" I've seen prettier girls, hotter ones, bigger breasts, younger ones, they all seem more perfect than my fiancee. But in the end, I am but a man, one person in this whole world, there will always be better options out there, that's life. Can't explain that. Younger girls will always be around. Life is not choosing about the best out there, it's about having good life and actually being thankful for it.\n\nI'm thankful for you, my baby, and I'm not stupid enough to let you go. I love you.", "summary": "I'll never be happy if I keep chasing better things. Happiness comes from within, from being thankful with what we have."} {"id": "t3_43w8n9", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Question about Fitbit, TDEE and not eating enough?", "post": "F/24/5'1/SW265/CW222/GW130\n\nSo I've been working on myself since September and recently I've ran into a problem. This might be a little long and make no sense but I will try, sorry.\n\nI log my food into MFP then sync to Fitbit and I've been eating at a 1000 calorie deficit according to Fitbit since Novemberish. So I end up eating anywhere from 1500-1700 calories a day. At the beginning of this year my Charge HR's screen decided to stop working so I asked for and received a replacement band. I feel like this new band doesn't read my read my heart rate and in turn my calories burnt as well as the old one? For the last two weeks I've been eating about 1400-1600 calories since that's what my deficit is now. I'm currently doing Fitness Blender's new 8 week program (So working out for about an hour 5 days a week, HITT, regular cardio and strength training) and I used to be able to easily hit their minimum calories burnt but now I can barely hit it and I feel like I'm still working just as hard. MFP has just recently bumped my goal down to 1390+exercize calories as my weight as gone down. I still stay within my calories on MFP and Fitbit, but I just don't know if I'm eating enough, I'm sometimes still hungry but not like starving hungry. I'm losing between 2-2.5 lbs a week currently.\n\nRecently I filled out the [Revised TDEE Spreadsheet] on /r/fitness and it says my TDEE is 2935, so I should be eating 1900 calories a day to still lose 2 pounds a week. That's obviously more than I've been eating and I don't want to/am afraid to slow down my weight loss. I've also started having headaches recently and I don't know if it's because I'm not eating enough, I've been kind of stressed lately and I know I grind my teeth a little bit, or something else.\n\nSo basically/", "summary": "I don't know if I'm eating enough, but I'm also kind of afraid to eat more. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2a6h86", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with guy i've been dating [22 M] for a month has pictures of his ex up on his walls", "post": "I have been dating this great guy for about a month now. We have started seeing each other every weekend now. Last weekend he invited me back to his place. Before i went in he stopped me and said something like: \nLook i moved in here with my ex and some of her stuff is still here, i know it's weird. I would feel very awkward in your place.\n\nI was quite baffled and we went in.\nThe stuff that was left was a coat in the hallway, a few bits and bots in the bathroom and two frame collages of pictures of her and him and who i guess are her friends and family on the wall. As well as some girly candles and bedsheets. There were no signs of her in the bedroom so i am pretty positive she does not still live there. \n\nRight now i am kicking myself for not asking why they were still there where she clearly left everything and why hadn't he moved them? Returned them? Cleared them away? It makes me worry he is still hung up over his ex. I really want my questions answered but I felt at the time it was too rude to ask. \n\nI am seeing him again this weekend and I want to ask him about it. I was wondering if anyone had any advise about what i should say and how to bring up the subject. I do not want to seem like I'm worried or attacking him! I have no idea how to bring up the subject other than being blunt or waiting for him to explain.. \n\nI know this might be considered a red flag, but he is such a nice guy i want to give him the benefit of the doubt and let him explain before i read into it too much.\n\nThank you for reading", "summary": "Guy i am dating still has his exs stuff around his house, how do I go about asking why they are still there."} {"id": "t3_1rxtbs", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "My co-worker is a bully", "post": "I've been working a non-profit for about 6 months now. I love my job, it fulfills me in so many ways. However, there is a woman who I work with who is a bully. She constantly complains about the other people who work there, she assigns people extra stuff to do even though she has no authority at all. One day last week she didn't let me know she needed buttons made until 15 minutes before she had to leave, she proceeded to pour out 3 big bags of buttons onto my desk and yell at me about why her bag of buttons was not ready. \nShe's one of those people that makes sure the environment around her is full of tension if she is upset or stressed about something. I have a lot of trouble with her, I find her to be a bully. I think the worst part about it all is she is a straight person working in a LGBT agency. She likes to tell everyone else how to do their jobs, insists they do it her way, but yet regularly expresses that she has no intention of staying there long term and that basically everything we talk about does not affect her in any way. \nI don't enjoy working with her, but I love my job. I want to be at this agency long term so I have to put up and shut up. I have tried to stand up to her, I've had mixed results. It is what it is.", "summary": "I don't like my co-worker, she is a bully. I am making the best of it until she finally quits."} {"id": "t3_3bw25e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21F] with my best friend from high school [20F], her wedding is in a week, but she didn't tell me about it until a week ago", "post": "Hey Reddit!\n\nSo I'll give a brief background about my friend. She was my best friend for 3 years of high school, after we graduated she moved to another city (without telling me until 3 days AFTER she left) and we drifted but stayed acquaintances.\n\nSo we talk occasionally, and I had always tried to initiate hanging out but she could never commit and we never found the time. I still consider her a friend, but not as close as we used to be.\n\nSo her and her fianc\u00e9 got engaged in November, and she called to tell me to make sure I knew before she put it on Facebook. I thought that was considerate, and that meant she was going to try to put more effort into our friendship, but that was the last I heard from her until last Friday.\n\nWhen she called in November, she said they were probably going to wait 2 years before they actually get married, just so they have money and all that. So when I saw her last week, I asked if she had been doing any wedding planning, and she says \"Oh yeah, it's in TWO WEEKS.\"\n\nI was just shocked. How could she be getting married in 2 weeks and not give me any heads up?! Not only do I have 2 jobs, I have other friends' parties that day that I already committed to. \n\nSo my question is: should I drop everything I'm doing to try and make it to my friend's wedding when she can barely make time for me, or should I just say \"sorry, you didn't give me enough notice and I have previous obligations.\"?\n\nShe was my very best friend, and I want to make it there but I feel like it's very inconsiderate to always expect me to drop what I'm doing for her.", "summary": "Ex best friend getting married in 2 weeks, gave me no notice, don't know if I should drop everything or just not go"} {"id": "t3_3ee2c4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19F] with guy [21M], first date in 4 years, I'm freaking out", "post": "Hi all. So, I know 4 years doesn't sound like that long, especially at my age. But I was sexually harassed for the first time at 14, and then again at 15, and then had more severe issues at 16 with a guy taking advantage of me. I have received counseling, but I struggled- and still struggle- with trusting men. I would say that by societal standards, I'd be considered objectively attractive, so I get asked out and approached a lot, but I've never really been comfortable saying yes until this particular guy. On top of all that, I have OCD. \n\nSo I have my first date in four years, and I'm scared. I can't shake this irrational fear that something bad will happen to me, even though I like this guy quite a bit. Any advice or words of comfort or even helpful statistics? I'm a very logical person and statistics resonate with me, so if anyone has any that are relevant, that could help too.", "summary": "Due to past traumas and an anxiety disorder, I'm freaking out over going on a date tomorrow night for the first time in 4 years. Help?"} {"id": "t3_2rwchx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by attempting to burn my house down", "post": "This literally just happened about 10 minutes ago. So here I am, just got out of the shower, feeling pretty hungry, when I remember, \"Oh! I have leftovers from work!\" (I work fast food) So I grab the cardboard box that my food is in out of the fridge, and just toss the thing in the toaster oven at 350 degrees for a few minutes and return to watching Netflix downstairs. A few minutes go by, and then the smell hits me, it smells like a sauna, and I'm think, \"well that's weird,\" and then I realize what I've just done. I sprint upstairs to see my box of food crumbling and trying to set itself alight; so I quickly turn that shit off, grab the half roasted box of food and toss it in the sink while simultaneously running around opening windows and turning fans on. Luckily my fire alarms didn't go off so I didn't have to deal with that, but RIP my delicious pub burger.", "summary": "Attempted to quickly heat up food in a cardboard box via toaster oven, roasted my buns and almost burned my house down."} {"id": "t3_4z8hmu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[18/M] met her[17/F] at school because of Tinder, but she invited her friends.", "post": "So I matched this girl on Tinder about 1 week ago, and since we were going to the same university, we decided to meet up on the lunch hour. \n\nI was pretty sure she was interested in a relationship: she's the one who asked to meet up, she told me in a subtile way that I was cute, we get along very well, etc.\n\nBig problem: she was with her female friend when we met, and later, 3 more female friends joind the group.\n\nThat was so awkward, I was not shy, but in my head I was just \"wtf wtf wtf wtf\" . I thought we would be alone. I was so not conformtable in this situation , I didn't understood half of the conversations they were talking about.\n\nAnd , when she presented me to her friends, she said : \"here's [my name], my new friend :) \" . \n\nThe good news is I think she thought I was fun and cool, she was laughing at my bad jokes. I asked her \"so we'll see each other again?\" And she responded \" Yea :) \" .\n\nSo, she only sees me as a friend for now? Or she just wanted to \"challenge\" me and asked her friends what they think about me? I have no idea.", "summary": "Met a girl on Tinder at school; she invited a couple of friends on our first meet up. Friendzoned?"} {"id": "t3_27ydie", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (25M) fiance (25F) got pregnant even though she has an IUD, and now we don't know what to do.", "post": "Like the title says, she's pregnant now even though she was on birth control. We've been together for 2 years and have an incredible relationship. Our families have met, and everyone gets along really well. That said, we both recognize that we aren't ready for children, and we are scheduled to get the A word tomorrow, but my fiance is having doubts. The one thing she's always wanted was a family, and she's scared that this isn't the right decision. On some level I'm scared in the same way. I'm afraid that if we go through with it she won't be the same person anymore. Compounding this is the fact that she has the Paragard IUD, and we always planned on eventually having a family a few years after we got married, but at the moment we aren't ready to have kids maturity wise and monetarily. Does anyone have any advice on our situation?", "summary": "fiance is pregnant despite being on an IUD, and we are scheduled for the A word tomorrow but we are having second thoughts."} {"id": "t3_2y7ttf", "subreddit": "Cooking", "title": "First time using pigs feet - did I mess up my broth?", "post": "I decided to make ramen for the second time from scratch. A couple recipes I found used pigs feet for the broth, promising amazing results. I ended up referencing a recipe without pigs feet and missed a key step. Apparently the feet need to be boiled briefly to remove any dirt or scum off of them, then that water is dumped. I did thoroughly rinse the feet and made sure there wasn't hair on them, but I didn't do an initial boil. The feet were vacuum packed and looked clean - no dirt that I could see. The problem is that I noticed the feet smelled weird and figured they're feet, they're supposed to smell off, but now the whole broth smells like sour pigs feet. I don't know if that's how they're supposed to be or if this because I didn't do a pre-boil. I'd say the smell is like a sour, almost urine-like smell... not very appealing. The more it simmers, the more the smell is covered by other scents so there's some hope for my broth. It also has pork neck with bones, salted pork belly, various vegetables, and bonito shavings. I would hate to throw out the whole batch, but maybe this is why pigs feet are considered an acquired taste? It's definitely not a rotting smell and I didn't accidentally get pickled pigs feet.", "summary": "Ramen broth smells \"sour\" and unappealing because of pork feet I didn't pre-boil. I don't know if I messed up or if that's how they're supposed to smell."} {"id": "t3_4xeef0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my new girlfriend (???) [20 F] of about two months, future is doomed but can't stop", "post": "Let's call her Yuri. I met Yuri about two months ago and we hit it off right away. I travelled to Japan shortly after meeting her and we were texting all the time I was there.\n\nI'm back from my trip now and we are completely infatuated with each other. It's the most intense feeling I've ever had with anyone, it's a huge rush of adrenaline\u2014it's what I imagine heroin feels like...\n\nThing is, she's only here on a working holiday and is going back to her native Osaka at the end of November.\n\nBefore this we would completely ignore the subject and bury our heads in the sand when it came to things that concerned the future, but yesterday it came up, like this; she said she wanted to have sex. I said I want it too (in the best japanese I could muster), but I'm afraid it would be a sort of point of no return. It would bring us closer, and separating afterwards would be all the more painful. She said she thinks that way too. We both cried and then decided to stop talking about it because it was just too damn sad.\n\nI woke up today with the most dreadful feeling. I love this girl but the future seems grim. The way I see it, it's either a torturous long-distance relationship that fizzles out and kills me inside, or one of us disrupting our life to go live in another country; making ourselves completely dependent on the other person and shattering the dynamic that makes us good together in the first place.\n\nWhat do you guys think? Should I sleep with this girl? What if I get hit by a truck tomorrow and die? Won't I regret not loving Yuri 100% while I still could?\n\nOr should I try to protect myself from the pain that is to come inevitably by keeping some kind of distance? Is it not too late for that anyway, sex or no sex?\n\nFact is even if y'all tell me to back out now I don't think I would. This is too intense, I'm addicted...", "summary": "Fell fast and hard for Yuri. She's leaving in November. No realistic future for our relationship. But can't stop cuz I'm an idiot who likes to suffer I guess? What do?"} {"id": "t3_w15e7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How long does it take to train for a marathon? (x-post from r/running)", "post": "Hey Reddit, my dad's passion is Ironman races. He has done 4 and is gearing up for his 5th next year. He has just recieved horrible news today that the tendons in his knee have given out. The doctor told him that if he chooses to race next March, there is a large risk that in later life, his ability to walk will be severely hindered. He has decided not to race next year's [Melbourne Ironman] and not to run again for fear of losing the ability to have a functioning knee. Although there is an operation to fix it, the doctor's advice is that he still not run due to the risks.\n\nI don't want my dad to have to forfeit his dream due to this. It is possible to race Ironman in teams. I am thinking about doing the marathon leg of the race, and leaving him the swim and ride. \n\nI need advice on how long it takes to gear up and train (properly) for the 42.2km run. Are 37 weeks adequate time to train from a point of nil fitness to a good, race standard?", "summary": "Dad's knee is screwed and can't race Ironman next year, is 37 weeks long enough for me to train to do the run leg for him?"} {"id": "t3_4n5qno", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've (23 M) become very skeptical of exclusivity in others and find it difficult to hold myself to the same standard.", "post": "Hi everyone,\n\nHoping you all can talk some sense into what I've been feeling. This one won't have too much backstory, but I used to be much more shy and passive. Over the years I've grown more expressive and comfortable with myself and my sexuality, and my dating life has become much more active. However, I feel like my older relationships went much more smoothly despite my previous insecurities.\n\nIt feels like nowadays everyone is always talking to... Well, everyone. I'm guilty of doing the same thing, even though it's not what I want. I really want connection rather than sex or validation, but I find it so difficult to invest in people and let people in to a place where I'm vulnerable to be hurt when in the back of my mind I'm sure they're seeing other people (or have evidence they're seeing other people, perhaps just casually), as was the case in the last few girls I invested in. I feel like I've gone from overinvesting in girls too quickly, to being very hesitant to invest in girls at all. Any recommendations for getting past this? I fully understand it's unreasonable for me to expect certain behavior when I'm not doing it myself, and I don't judge girls for doing the same. If anybody had some perspective on dealing with this reality of the dating scene now, I would be very appreciative. Thank you.", "summary": "I'm dating around, girls are dating around, everyone is dating around. How do we find exclusivity? And how do we find trust in it?"} {"id": "t3_2lyy1k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24 M] with my GF [23 F], I can't get over the fact that she used to do anal.", "post": "I have been with my GF for about a year and a half, and it's been absolutely amazing. She is very kind, smart, gorgeous, and also a very \"good girl\". Meaning she never really got in trouble growing up, only had a couple serious partners before me, ect. This is one reason that I am so attracted to her.\n\nAnyways, recently we've been getting into butt-play and about 2 weeks ago we finally tried anal and it was pretty cool. When we were just starting to go at it that night, she mentioned that \"is was never too pleasant for her\", and I was like \"OH! lol so you HAVE tried it?\" (not that she never said she hadn't). And she got a little shy about it and said something like \"Well.. yes, but I never enjoyed it too much\". That was that and we kept going, I made sure to use lots of lube and go east at it. At the end, seemed she enjoyed it.\n\nThe fact that she tried anal before has been messing with my head >_< I know it shouldn't be a big deal at all, but I just can't help thinking that she's done this with her ex(s?) and my brain is stupid! I just don't like this fact. Maybe because it was MY first time doing it, and now that I know she had already, it's not that special.\n\nI sort of decided to post this in hopes of people saying things that will maybe put me at ease a bit. Maybe some suggestions would be good. I shouldn't talk to her about this huh? I mean, the past is the past, and plus, she is a great gf and really there's nothing I would want to change about her.", "summary": "Had anal for the (what I though) was the first time with my GF. The fact that she had done it before is messing with my head."} {"id": "t3_3e03tl", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Is my therapist just flirting and leading me on so I keep coming back?", "post": "A little background, I've been to a few therapists before and none have really helped. I decided I go to another and just try it again. My dad just picked one out and she happened to be a really hot, young woman. And I am only 17, but I have a full grown beard, I workout and I'm big, and everyone I know says I don't look my age.\n\nAnyway I've been seeing her once a week for the last 4-5 weeks now, one time twice a week. Every time I'm there she'll mention something sexual, ask me how old I am with a cute smile (even though I've told her several times), and shit like that. I don't really look her in the eye much, but when I do she's either checking me out (usually staring at my arms, chest, or my dick), or she'll put on a cute smile if I look at here eyes. I saw her today and she did the same thing. But today she got up several times to hand me things, and every time she'd bend over in front of me. She also told me to try out this breathing exercise and she grabbed her chest and said, \"breathe in and out like this\" and smiled at me.\n\nBefore I left she did say, \"don't just come here to see me! I want you to get better. I want you to trust me and talk to me so you feel like you're getting the best out of this! Ok?\" and smiled like she usually does again. Which is funny she mentioned that because I haven't been feeling like she's been helping, but I don't have really anyone else to talk to and it's nice going there.\n\nAs I was leaving, she has one of those big ass tube tv's in the lobby, and I noticed her looking at my ass and she motioned to her coworker to look over.\n\nHonestly I don't know if she's just toying and leading me on so I keep coming back, or she's just naturally flirty like that and she really means what she says.", "summary": "Therapist acts sexual and flirty with me, which I don't mind she's hot and nice to me, but is she just leading me on so I keep coming back?"} {"id": "t3_z1xum", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Officially married two months and still haven't gotten our pictures. Reddit, what are your post marriage war stories with vendors?", "post": "We were married in June and had an awesome photographer. He seemed like a great guy and an even better photographer. He even gave us a pretty great price, which is important when you're two 22 year olds. Leading up to our wedding him and our caterers were the best people to deal with. Had no reason to think ill of him.\n\nWell, our contract said we'd have our pictures no later than the sixth Friday after the wedding. We had talked to him three times before then and he told us he was \"working on the pictures.\" Well, I finally find out after he was past contract this was not the case.\n\nHis hard drive died and he lost half our pictures. He didn't let us know because he didn't want to \"worry us,\" which is exactly what was happening with him not talking to us. Luckily he found a recovery company and we should have our pictures in a week or two.\n\nNot once has he made any mention of a refund, though he made sure my wife and I knew he was paying the $1,200 for the recovery process out of pocket. Needless to say, we're both very unhappy/disappointed.\n\nSo, Reddit please tell us we're not the only ones who have had to go through post wedding hell!", "summary": "Photographer lied to us three times about losing pictures, will maybe have them to us by his third or fourth week past contract."} {"id": "t3_2jxywd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my ex gf [16F] 1 year, Started talking again and..", "post": "So long story short i was the asshole that made me and my now ex gf break up about 6 months ago.\n\nI cheated on her when i get way to messed up at a party, and i made the worst mistake of my life i feel like, i have been unable to forgive myself for doing that to her, and had been depressed and unable to even get out and do much since then\n\nI cared quiet a bit about her and still checked up on her to make sure she was okay, but recently we lost contact for about 2 months and i was contacted by one of her friends because she was worried about the current relationship that my ex was in, apparently the guy told her he didn't want a label on there relationship because that was old fashioned, i found out from multiple lady friends of mine that he had been hooking up with there friends, telling them he was single.\n\nlong story short i texted her and basically spent a whole night talking to her on the phone trying to convince her of what he was doing, she finally talked to him about it and he finally admitted it, and she told him they needed to break up which they did.\n\nNow i didn't expect anything to come to this but we have been talking a lot again, and we hungout today and we kissed and hugged for a long time, the thing is i don't know what to do reddit, i still hate myself for what i did and i wanted her back even though i knew i didn't deserve her, and now i still want her back but i'm in a dilemma, because i want to make sure i never do that to her again. And i also wanna make sure that she isn't just doing this cause shes lonely too.\n\nExcuse my grammar i know it's bad", "summary": "ex gf broke up with me then got into a bad relationship which i helped end, and we are talking again."} {"id": "t3_13a549", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Undergraduate Student with 0 credit, trying to find a simple way to build it.", "post": "I've tried applying for a few student cards, and a department store card and got denied on all four. I talked with my bank, and they can't directly offer me a CC, not even with a cosigner. I'd be an \"authorized user\" but that does not affect my credit one bit.\n\nI don't want to apply for any more cards, so as to not actually get a bad score, as currently I have no score. I was told by my banker that if I applied to too many and was denied too many times, I would eventually \"gain\" a bad score.\n\nI'm not really in the position to be able to get an apartment on my own due to where I live, it would be far too expensive to do. However I do realize that might be a last-resort sort of deal, if need be.\n\n##", "summary": "I'm 21 with a 0 credit score and need help. Student / Department Stores deny me, and renting isn't currently a favorable option. Help!***"} {"id": "t3_4wo48a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (26/m) have a crush on a girl. Only met her once. Takes too long to reply, and tells me she feels embarrassed as excuse. She seems shy about me, how could I proceed?", "post": "She is very cute, I met her traveling in another city with her mom, and because we live in the same city and we were going to return on the same flight, we spent a lot of time together. We got along well, I thought that she was into me... I never directly hit on her, but kind of teased her and had a good time, even her mom suggested her to do some activity together with me.\n\nMy phone is damaged and couldn't retrieve the number she gave me, so I added her on Facebook. She took like a week to add me as a friend, then like another week to reply to my message saluting. The other interactions have been like one reply a week on her part, sometimes the takes 2 weeks to answer. I ended up thinking that she doesn't care about me at all, which was weird because I got along with her very well.\n\nI liked her so much that I thought that I should try something before not contacting her anymore, so I asked her if she would like to go out with me because I like her. She replied \"Oh, you like me!, you can talk to me that way :)\" and \"what do you like about me?\" with some surprise smiley faces. I told her exactly how I felt about her, how beautiful she is to me and what aspects of her personality I enjoy... then, no reply at all!!\n\nJust communicating to her has been stressing somehow, because I really like her!, before giving up again... I sent a simple \"hi, how have you been\", thinking to myself that that was pathetic, pursuing a girl who is ignoring me, and she replied, \"I get too shy!!, how embarrassing\". I replied to her that we can talk about another topic, so I wrote about something else... but no reply again...\n\nDon't know what to do! Any advice? Why so much shyness? Is she playing with me? Does she likes me? Should I ignore her?", "summary": "Met girl who seemed interested, ignores me in instant messaging, she shows some interest and then she hides. As I have a huge crush on her would like to know how can I make something happen..."} {"id": "t3_1w5x30", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My parents [64M+54F] are seriously straining the relationship between my sister [24F] and I [21F]", "post": "My parents are very proud of me. That is good. They brag about me a lot. This is not good.\n\nI am so incredibly embarrassed. They brag about me when I'm not there, but my Dad will even do it right in front of me. He will brag about me to other people *when I am standing right there*. I'll be with him at a hockey game and he'll say \n>'flyzombie, tell my buddy here all about your new job, and about your grades last term!' (I'm exaggerating but you get the point) \n\nI have asked him to stop and he'll stop for the rest of the night, but the next day he'll be talking about me again.\n\nThis has strained the relationship between my sister and I. We were terrible to each other as kids, but once she moved out we became best friends. She now works with my parents at our 'mom and pop' shop, while I'm away at school most of the time.\n\nShe has told me about several encounters where customers at the shop *did not know my parents had 2 children*. She will say she is my parents' daughter, customers will ask how school is, and she will awkwardly say, 'Wrong kid', or 'That's my sister'. My parents don't say anything about my sister, but go on and on about me.\n\nI have spoken with both of my parents about this. The problem is, they talk about me to customers, then when the customers come back, they go and ask about me to be polite, and my parents talk more. It's a vicious and embarrassing cycle, especially because my parents talk about me in front of my sister, and have nothing to say about her.\n\nMy parents just don't get the hint. I've asked them outright to stop it, but that's changed nothing. My sister says she's okay with it, she just gets embarrassed too, but I can tell she's somewhat bitter about it, god I would be too. We're all embarrassed. Except my parents.", "summary": "My parents brag about me and not about my sister, how can I get them to stop this! My sister says she's fine with it but I can tell she isn't"} {"id": "t3_3dwqp5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend (21F) wants to smoke, I (21M) get naseous at the smell of smoke. Am I being unreasonable?", "post": "I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months, and I love her. I truely do. And I am pretty sure the feelings reciprocated. \n\nBut recently we have hit a bump in our relationsship. Before we started dating, she used to smoke, but she stopped a bit before we got serious, partly because I can't stand it, but also for herself I believe. \n\nHowever the past two days she has started smoking again. Two days ago she snuck a smoke in the bathroom before walking her dogs, hoping I wouldn't notice. But I did. Then yesterday she wasn't feeling well, so after having an argument, in which I really tried to explain to her how I feel about this, she went and smoked a cigarette before going to bed to relax. \n\nNow my problem with smoking is the fact that I can always smell it. And I can't stand it. I feel sick whenever I smell it and I can't stand being around her for at least 12 hours whenever she smokes. \n\nShe recently moved in with her mom who smokes, which she claims is the reason why she has suddenly felt the need to smoke again. \n\nI just don't know if it's me being unreasonable or not when I tell her that I don't want her to smoke. I don't want to end things, but I also can't stand having to push her away when we sleep, when I am used to falling asleep with her in my arms.", "summary": "girlfriend wants to smoke again, I can't stand it. Tried telling her my feelings, she still wants to. What do?"} {"id": "t3_3fggja", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [23F] Boyfriend [21M] Wants To Go to a Casino, I Don't Approve", "post": "We've been together for almost 5 years. My boyfriend just turned 21 a couple weeks ago and he's talking about going to the casino with some friends tonight, I'm totally against this as I think it's a waste of money and the odds are against you. And it can become a dangerous habbit, even though he thinks if he just does it in \"moderation\" it's fine. When I expressed my concern about it he said something about me thinking I'm his mother, even though I told him I'd let him go if I was with him and that I just think his friends might encourage him to be irresponsible. I hate when he makes comments like that about me being controlling and I think there's a difference between controlling and caring, what should I do? Who's in the right?", "summary": "My boyfriend wants to go to the casino, I told him I don't want him to, he's saying I'm controlling."} {"id": "t3_ado8f", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Hey Reddit: Who suffers from Migraine? Any luck with treatments?", "post": "I started getting \"classic migraines\" (with aura) back in high school, 3-5 a month, sometimes more. They tend to last 12-72 hours on average. The bad ones (at least half) leave me unable to move. This has been going on for the past 16 years. Some months are better than others, some are worse. \n\nI've tried a variety of pharmaceutical treatments; pain relief, abortive, and prophylactic. All have their pro's and cons, mostly cons. None of them work 100% of the time, the ones that do tend to help have unpleasant side-effects. I have also tried a few illicit drugs with somewhat limited success. Marijuana changes the way the pain feels, but does this is such a way that I notice it more. I tried sub-hallucinogenic amounts of LSD in the past with surprisingly good results (or maybe not surprisingly, since ergotamine--which is a treatment for migraine--is a precursor of LSD), unfortunately it's quite hard to come by or I would use it more often. I've not tried shrooms, but have been curious. \n\nI kept a migraine journal for almost a year in order to try to identify triggers. I found no rhyme or reason. \n\nMigraines have led to relationship problems for me due to having to skip plans, among other things. I have also lost 3 jobs due to not being able to work when I have debilitating migraines, combined with sub-par performance when I force myself to get to work with less severe ones. \n\nI know from experience that most people that don't get migraine do not understand that it's a bit different than just \"a headache\", and I've not once been able to take a tylenol, excedrin, or other over-the-counter stuff I've been offered and have it even remotely touch the pain. I have heard the pain described as having a root canal with no anasthetic. I've never had a root canal so I cannot comment on that. \n\nInterested in hearing how other migraineurs here on Reddit cope.", "summary": "I've had migraines for over half of my life that have affected my personal and professional life. Who gets migraines? What treatments have you tried?"} {"id": "t3_2a9dh8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21/M] just got out of a 2.5 year relationship with [20/F]. Ended on mutual terms, still feel awful. Need some advice.", "post": "Hey everyone,\n\nMy ex [20/F] and I broke up around 2 weeks ago. It was a mutual break up, I am leaving in the fall to a different city to go pursue athletic dreams of mine, and she didn't want to come with me. Both of us didn't want to be in a LDR. On top of that, both of us noticed there we were drifting apart, the relationship wasn't the greatest. We sat down, had a long talk, and we decided that maybe we should end this. There was no fight, it was very amicable. \n\nI was okay for the first 2 days, maybe it was denial? Then I just crashed. I'm sad and lonely. I tried to maintain no contact, but I broke it a couple times (I know, my bad). I still think I'm in denial, because I can't wrap my head around that we aren't together anymore. I am still afraid of building relationships (friendships) with women, because there's a voice in the back of my head saying \"but what if you two get back together?\" I'm afraid of doing most things: Hit up the club with friends, go out to the pub, stuff like that. Because of what my ex would think.\n\nThis was my first serious relationship, and I don't know how to handle it being over. Any advice from people who have been in my shoes, or just know the ropes?", "summary": "Break up after 2.5 years. Very amicable. Can't wrap my head around that we aren't together anymore. Letting it hold me back from doing things. Need some advice."} {"id": "t3_1vezs0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my dating [18 F] Unsure what really is going on.(About 4 months)", "post": "Hello everyone, well Im kind of confused as if where I am in a relationship with this girl. Problem is, we hangout and go on these random \"dates\" which we don't really call dates its basically us just going out for dinner or coffee or movie etc. just do all types of stuff the two of us. Now I've like this girl for a while now but I've never actually brought it up I've just ind of tried to show it in my actions and things we do. What do you all think? Im simply confused as where to go from here.", "summary": "Do a bunch of things with a girl I really like such as go out to dinners and movies and such but not sure what stage our relationship is at."} {"id": "t3_3onvu3", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Trying to mix-and-match bridesmaid dresses and I'm looking for help/opinions", "post": "I need some fresh eyes on my mix-and-match bridesmaid attempt for a Kate Spade styled wedding. I'll make this quick: \n\n* My wedding is March in Key West (yay!). The weather should be mild (70s-80s). Weather permitting, the event will take place outside in the gardens of a historic home. I'm want the affair to feel like Kate Spade Garden Dinner Party - classic, but fun. Main color is navy with accents of green, pink, and metallics. \n\n* My first instinct was to put the girls in long dresses but the choices are less fun. Since this is a garden wedding in a tropical place, I don't want them to look overdone (or want the girls to be uncomfortable!). I found some shorter dresses that I LOVE but I'm unsure if my mixing and matching works or not. \n\n* Here are the four combinations I'm considering: [", "summary": "Kate Spade inspired garden wedding in Key West. Want to do mix-and-match bridesmaid dresses but I'm fashionably challenged and looking for feedback on these combos. "} {"id": "t3_x5efz", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "The girl I'd been seeing for about half a year decided to end it but took 2 weeks of silence to (kind of) tell me. And now I can't get a response for an apology, help?", "post": "Here's the story: I know this girl from going to school and college with her for quite a while. At the start of the year I fell for her and vice versa. Much wonderful sex and dates were had, she tells me she loves me pretty much all the time for 4 or 5 months. Then one date she seems distant and cold, claims to be fine, we arrange another date. Then I send a casual text asking if she's still up for it; nothing. All forms of communication; nothing. A week later she says she's having a funny point at the moment an needs to sort things out with herself. She also says how she still loves me and I say I'll do what I can to help. Super duper right? \n\nFast forward a week of casual chatting then nothing for 2 weeks. I want to know what's up so send a few messages her way with no reply. I see her in person and ask if she wants to talk, she says yes but then disappears before we do. I had to find out from someone else that she was with some other guy suddenly and when I asked her about it, she just said 'well now you know' and that was it. Enter sadness.\n\nMy problem is that I want her to know that I'm sorry for being a jerk and not realising what was going on. I want her to know that I'm just pleased she's happy even if it isn't with me and that she made me the happiest I have ever been. So I said this and I got no response. I'm losing sleep over this and can't think of anything else, all I want is for what I'm saying to be acknowledged for, y'know, closure reasons. Did I fuck up?", "summary": "Girlfriend left me for some other guy, I found out from someone else after everyone else knew, how do I get a response from her so I can get some sleep."} {"id": "t3_3674s1", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Current job allows for flexibility during work hours and subsidizes travel - looking for a side hustle. Whatcha got, PF?", "post": "So I recently started a job that has me largely working from home and driving around my metro area. It's a sales job, so I'm paid mileage(when on appointments) and a stipend for my vehicle. I'm going to need to upgrade my car before too terribly long, and I want to put down a significant amount. I'd like to put together the cash for this payment from funds earned through a side gig. Not so much because I couldn't manage to save the cash myself, more as a project and a way to keep myself productive.\n\nGiven my unique job situation, I'm able to carve out time here and there during business days and also have some of the costs of travel subsidized so it seems wise to take advantage of that. At the moment I don't have any productive hobbies, unfortunately. My first thought was Uber, but I think that would make it way easier to get caught \"double dipping\". My first venture is going to be thrifting and reselling 100% wool jackets/suits on CL and offering delivery for a small additional fee. I live near an affluent suburb, so I think I could keep a pretty decent inventory on hand and I don't think the time investment will get to be too daunting once I have a couple of templates for listing completed. Any other ideas or pitfalls/opportunities I'm not considering right now? What do you do for additional income?", "summary": "Looking for a side hustle, travel costs covered by main gig, first attempt will be thrifting suits/jackets and reselling with delivery. Any other ideas?"} {"id": "t3_yz0z0", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Guy I'm seeing still has a thing for his old crush. [21F, 23M]", "post": "I started dating this guy, we'll call him Tom, a couple of weeks ago. We sort of knew each other for a while (less than a year) since we hang out in the same circles. I'm very attracted to him and was considering the possibility of something more serious until his best friend revealed some not so flattering details about him a few nights ago. We were all hanging out together when his best friend mentioned how relieved he was that Tom stopped going after girls named Julia. I was confused at first, but Tom brushed the joke aside and changed the subject rather quickly. \n\nI'm not the type of person to let things go that easily. I pulled his best friend aside later on that night and asked him flat out what he meant by his little quip. He told me that Tom had a crush on a girl named Julia in high school, but it didn't go anywhere because she lived in a different part of the country. Since then Tom got into a series of relationships with other girls named Julia, the most recent of which ended sometime last year. After telling me all of this, his friend then tried to reassure me that it wasn't a big deal anymore and that it was all just a phase. But how could a phase last that long?\n\nI've been doing a little digging of my own (they're facebook friends!) and I found out that this girl has had a huge influence on his life, particularly in terms of his tastes and interests. Now I'm feeling a little insecure and creeped out. It looks like she was \"the one that got away\" and he's since been searching for someone like her or otherwise settling. I'm not sure if I should stop seeing him or if I should confront him or what. A confrontation seems premature considering we only started dating two weeks ago. I really like this guy, though...but which parts of him are real and which parts of him are still attached to his old crush?", "summary": "I just found out the guy I'm dating still has a thing for an old high school crush and I'm wondering if I should continue dating him."} {"id": "t3_3vwi15", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "23F one sided crush on a fwb 27M who isn't looking for anything serious", "post": "Coming down with a hard case of cuffing season guys :( \n\nI've been using tinder for casual dating/hookups for over half a year now and after a good number of dates, have not come across anyone I really connect with. Well there was one guy that I wanted to become exclusive with but he wasn't ready. Anyway the connection factor wasn't actually super important anyway since if I wasn't interested I'd just move on to the next. \n\nA month ago I went on a tinder date with this guy who I had a great time with. We've hung out and hooked up a few times now. It's VERY casual since we established that we both aren't looking for anything serious. We only text to arrange times to see each other. If I'm being completely honest with myself there actually isn't that great of chemistry between us either. We're just both pretty laid back and easy going people so hanging out is always a fun time. I do get the feeling that I'm more of an option to him vs him being a preference for me though.. \n\nI don't know what to do. I realize it's unhealthy for me to start fantasizing about him and putting him on a pedestal because now my other tinder dates aren't measuring up to my experience with him. \n\nI'm aware of how fwbs work. I knoww this is just a hopeful and pointless daydream on my end. It definitely mostly sucks for me since I like him so much right now. \n\nOh and not sure if this matters or helps but we also both live in a big urban city so.. yes plenty of other options..", "summary": "How can I get over a one sided crush on someone who isn't looking for anything serious? I've already been on more dates (have more arranged) to keep my options open but the heart wants what the heart wants."} {"id": "t3_20rusl", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Getting a weird burning headache if I breathe too heavily through my nose. Thoughts?", "post": "Hey everyone, first off sorry if this has been answered before somewhere - I searched every combination of words I could think of both in this sub and on Google and haven't found anything relevant. \n\nI've been running somewhat inconsistently for about a year now. In January I ran a 10k with a friend, and did really poorly. I was really disappointed in myself, and felt like I let her down a lot because she refused to leave me behind. In the end, though, she wanted to keep doing races with me, and in an effort to not let her or myself down this time, I've been training pretty hard. One of the things that I realized was that my breathing was really holding me back, and so I started to force myself to breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth. And it's helped. A ton. I'm finding that I'm able to keep a much better pace and go for longer when I run this way.... until a certain point. Then I just hit a wall where my lungs are perfectly fine and could keep up the pace, but the inside of my nostrils are burning. It got so bad last night that I had to stop because it was giving me a headache. \n\nLike I said, I've done a good deal of searching around using various combinations of \"running breathing through nose burning\" and none of them are getting me close to what I'm looking for. If there's even a name for this that someone wants to throw out and I can do the research myself, I'd take even that. At this point I'm pretty much just going to push through it and hope it's another one of those \"run more\" things someone else posted about today, but if there's a quick solution to this, I'd love to know about it. Thanks!", "summary": "when I run for a certain period of time the inside of my nostrils starts burning badly enough to give me a headache. Not sure what causes this, and would like to make it go away if possible."} {"id": "t3_pu5yc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Who else feels bad for the families who have parents getting brain washed by Amway?", "post": "Sorry for venting, but I was tricked into going to a seminar the other night. The guy I met said to meet me at a Subway and after I arrived he told me to get back in my car and follow him to a hotel lobby across the street... yes, I knew something sketchy was up. I didn't know it was about Amway until I wasted 1.5 hours of my time. I have a business background and could have picked apart their business model but wasn't given an opportunity because after the presentation the guy didn't have any Q&A opportunity. The thing that worries me most is that there were 30+ people there that actually believe this stuff and invest so much time and money into this flawed model that I almost feel obligated to do something about it!", "summary": "Triked into Amway meeting and feel bad for people that loose all time and money getting caught up in the system."} {"id": "t3_509efm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [16M] school staff [20sF] has been staring and smiling at me whenever I sometimes go to the canteen and I am getting crept out.", "post": "I can't believe I have to ask for advice.....\n\nRegarding my school, it is a very small school compared to my big one. 5 to 10 students with only 4 classrooms. I began my school year on July 2016 (Last month) and I'm now on my (hopefully) final year.\n\nRegarding the school staff, there has been this one new female staff in her early 20s who works in the Canteen/Activity Room alone and always has the maids/yayas (Filipino term for maids).\n\nSo, over the past days and weeks, whenever I go to the room for a drink, to eat, or to interact with friends, she will always stare and smile at me for absolutely no fucking reason. Even if I'm being very quiet or something, she would sometimes do that for no fucking reason, and I've been getting crept out up to this day and just recently, she wants to add me as a friend on Facebook.\n\nI don't want to tell my teachers, my friends, and my family about this since I don't want to get in huge trouble, but I feel worried about myself at the same time.\n\nI've always questioned myself regarding her since my possible theories are:\n\n1 - I'm just being very paranoid and misunderstood\n\n2 - She might literally have a romantic interest in me\n\n3 - She just likes to smile, but at me for no reason\n\nor 4 - She could be part of a gang with me as her 'next' target\n\nIs there any help that can help me possibly overcome it?", "summary": "On my last school year, new female school staff have been getting stared and smiled at by her a month and getting crept out, don't want to tell anybody due to trouble, and have been making theories in my mind about her"} {"id": "t3_1dw2as", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Please help me help her - girlfriend loses everything, accepted at Columbia, can't afford it. Help?", "post": "Hey everyone,\n\nMy first time on this subreddit, but honestly I'm not sure where else to go. Here's why I'm here:\n\nMy girlfriend, now 23, was a child prodigy in singing, dancing, and acting (she was the lead in Cirque du Soleil's \"Quidam\" - here is a clip of her singing: She acted in a variety of shows in New York City, including Madison Sq Garden. She grew up, moved to NYC, pursued opera, theatre, and music. I met her dancing Tango in Central Park. We started dating. Then on May 5th of last year, she had her performance career stripped from her by a digestive disease called ulcerative colitis. \n\nShe lost a lot more after that. She couldn't pay rent, so she had to move out into an empty home her parents own in NJ. She spent most of the last year alone in that house (it's where we are both living now). \n\nAfter encouragement, she applied and was accepted to Columbia University. I can't tell you how happy this made me, until we found out that it's financially impossible because:\n\n1. After financial aid, she needs to take out a $60,000 parent plus loan. \n2. She can't get one because her father is categorically against higher education (I won't explain in depth here). \n3. She can't file taxes as an independent (and get more scholarship) because she needs to stay on her dad's insurance so that she can maintain any semblance of help. \n4. Her finance officer told her to find $60,000 somewhere - impossible considering she can't have a job right now. \n\nIt is heartbreaking to see her get accepted to Columbia, then see her get basically NO help from the finance office or her parents. We are running out of options. \n\nPlease help us. Do any of you have any ideas on alternative ways we could finance her education, or get more in financial aid? Any help would be greatly appreciated.", "summary": "girlfriend is a child prodigy, lost everything, got into Columbia, circumstances screwed her on financing. We need help."} {"id": "t3_nhnzm", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Quick Please- I have to be at work in 30 minutes, but yesterday I made too many mistakes and was told to go home with 45 minutes left on my shift. Was I fired? Should I go in today?", "post": "There was a rush, and the shake machine broke thus things got laggy and I screwed up. I was trying to fix it, but I just made a mess using a broken shake machine and I couldn't explain quick enough why this food was in this bag and how so-and-so thought it was order X but it was order B and B has been waiting for so long b/c of the machine being broken and that's why it's messed up etc. Yeah... so She told me to just go home, and I left.\n\nAm I fired? I don't wanna be... but I know they hate me there b/c I'm not fast enough. I feel like such a fuck up. I gotta be at work in 30, so it'd be nice to know what to expect.", "summary": "Co-Boss told me to go home with 45 minutes left on the clock because I kept on screwing up. Am I fired? Should I go in today?"} {"id": "t3_npb7r", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Ignored at gf's high school reunion. I'm right, she's wrong and knows it. I'm still hurt what do I do?", "post": "Posted a question last night About what to do at my gf's high school reunion last night, got some good suggestions. I was there from 6pm cst to 1am. Had to get there early because she was on the \"decoration committee\". Anyways it was going fine, I pumped myself up in my head trying to be extra friendly and confident because I knew nobody. I graduated in a diff state. \n\nUntil I realized I was basically being ignored, I was fine with it for most the night but I wasn't drinking at all. I've been having issues with alcohol lately so staying sober just added to the stress and awkwardness. But that's another story. I felt ignored because I was introduced formally to only a handfull of people. I've been with this girl for 5 years we have a kid together. I just felt hurt by this still, I want insecure about it, I was just saddened. \n\nIt wasn't until about midnight I was fed up. It was after the party was wrapped up in the room they rented that we traveled to a bar that was connected to the building and open later, I sat down pulled out my phone and popped up reddit waiting for my gf to sit next to me. After a short while a notice he isn't there and she is sitting at another table with her \"Gil friends\" who I had no idea who they were as I was not Introduced. I would have said hi and done it myself but at this point I was just pissed, and sober while everyone else seemed wasted and fucking annoying. So I just got up called a cab and waited outside till I went back to her parent place where we were staying or the weekend. Only to have her sleep until noon today while I beg her to get up and break the again awkward situation on me hanging out with her morbidly obese mother and bi polar father. he apologized and we will be leaving tomorrow early to go see my side of the family on Xmas, I still feel hurt an I wrong, am I being overly dramatic? I usually don't get to be \"right\" very often should I milk this?", "summary": "Gf ignored me at her high school reunion, I'm right she knows it. It's a rare occasion do I milk it? I still feel hurt by what happened am I being overly dramatic?"} {"id": "t3_3pol82", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [15 M] with my lifelong friend [16F] I've started developing feelings towards her and not sure what I should do?", "post": "I've known this girl, we'll call her Julia. Julia and I have been friends for as long as I can remember, and although we started off not liking each other, we eventually grew quite fond of one another. Her mom and my mom became best friends and are pretty much inseparable, and we've been on several vacations together. I've never seen her as anything other than my friend, if that makes any sense? As in, she was a friend who happened to be a girl.\n\n Well, a few years go by, out parents drift apart, and I see Julia maybe a few dozen times a year. Our parents recently reconnected, but she has a weird relationship with her mother, and she doesn't really come over when her mom does, so I don't get to see her other than during holidays or my birthday.\n\n I feel guilty for feeling this way towards somebody I felt was a friend. I feel like I'm turning into a nice guy, because I keep thinking of ways to ask her out, or ways to get her alone during a party and stuff. I even think about sappy romantic stuff like going on dates to ice skating rinks and stuff haha. I know it's corny, but I honestly can't help it, I've become pretty much infatuated with her.\n\n If I asked Julia out, or showed any signs of wanting her, I'm pretty sure that it would cause some drama with her mother and mine if it got ugly for some reason I can't fathom at this moment. Should I go for it? How should I do it? Wait for me to see her again during a party and risk it not even happening? Or message her? Should I just give up altogether? I honestly never felt this way towards a friend before and it's a lot more complicated(In my mind at least) than a regular crush.", "summary": "Developed crush on a friend I've known for pretty much my whole life, not sure if I should go for it."} {"id": "t3_2tvdcy", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by making a joke in class", "post": "Many of you probably know that today is the 70th Holocaust anniversary and since I live in germany this is a big thing here. That's why our school organized, like many other schools in germany, a minute of silence at 12pm (noon). Our math teacher informed us about that at 8am in the morning class. \nThat's when things went wrong.\nOur teacher is a bit gassy so she started to talk a bit about the Holocaust, how this minute of silence is a good thing, all that stuff. Then she asked if we ever made a excursion to a concentration camp. Some said yes. She continued to talk about the Holocaust and after a few historical information she asked if someone of us has been in [Ausschwitz] since it's the most interesting one for a excursion in her opinion. \nHere comes the interesting part:\n\n''Yes, 70 years ago. Wasn't that nice though.'' I say.\n\nA few giggle, some laugh. I didn't really regret it until this point since I often make some risky jokes and I know that 90% of the people are okay with that. And that joke wasn't that bad to be honest.\nBut then... I look at my teachers face. I can't say more than that I've never seen a more aghast and angrier face in my entire life. In this moment I realized what I said... or better, to whom I said that. \nI don't want to write her name now but it's clearly a jewish surname. Like Goldberg or something like this. I also asked a few students later, she's jewish.\nTo make it short, got send out to talk with her, never felt so awful during a talk with a teacher and got an appointment at the principals office next week. Also, our principle is very, very, VERY strict. That will be fun.", "summary": "made a joke about the holocaust on the memorial day infront of my jewish math teacher, got send out and now have to talk with my principal"} {"id": "t3_3glxvw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18m] get nervous around a girl [18f]. So much so that it'll take me 10 min to reply to a text.", "post": "First off, we met at a week long get together, whatever, it's not that important. We just saw each other for the last 2 days of it. Also, I am what I consider to be confident and outgoing. I have never had issues talking to pretty girls, just was never a problem.\n\n It started with us just talking. She is really shy, to the point where she would text me to have me come by and hang out with her and her friends and not talk to me but give me quick glances. I know she liked me because when everyone went to sleep, she and I texted each other for about 3 hours. I'm not really nervous yet in the story, so it's going pretty well.\n\nAfter the get together is over and we all leave, she starts to text me on the way home (neither of us are driving). I begin to get a little nervous. I'm saying bland and boring things, not being my normal, outgoing, confident self. She begins to give me short one word responses, almost like she doesn't want to talk.\n\nThe next day I give her a good morning text. It's the same deal. Short one word responses. I am taking way too long to respond, just unusually boring things coming from me. Later on, she just flat out stops texting me back. It's been a whole day and no response. I haven't texted her again, and was just kind of waiting. I don't know what to do. I just get really nervous, butterfly's in my stomach, and tongue tied when talk to her. I think I really like her but I've never felt so nervous talking to another person, so I'm not sure how I feel. Help?", "summary": "I get really nervous and tongue tied when I talk to this girl, and she stopped texting me back. Please help."} {"id": "t3_l8sak", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm a minor and sold a computer across the country for $6300 and it came broken, now he wants a refund. HELP REDDIT!", "post": "Okay Reddit i'm in need of some **serious** help. Let me explain the situation..\n\nI sold 4 processing computers totaling $6300 to someone (found on the internet) across the country (from PA to CA). I built this computer with one other person, and we are both 17. He sent us a check in the mail with the money, we built the computer with that money and took our 5% markup (Was originally 15% but he changed the order midway, screwing us over and having to pay a FORTUNE in shipping costs). \n\nAnyway, we shipped the computers via FedEx and insured them to the full amount. We packaged the computers using the Styrofoam-fitted blocks that came around the computer cases (sturdy, 3 inch foam around the computer). When they arrived to the customers house, they were completely trashed. Holes everywhere, missing wireless adapters, screws torqued out of the power supply, handles to the boxes were torn down 5 inches. The computers were completely trashed. 3 didn't even start up, and 1 turned on with its fans blaring but no POST or startup. \n\n**An inspector came out and inspected the computers and these images are the result:**\n\nWe made a claim to FedEx (since we purchased insurance of course) and they denied the claim, even with the evidence. Their reason was \"inadequate packaging\" yet even the inspection report says there is packaging (and it was definitely adequate).\n\nNow I have an angry customer asking me for a $6300 refund and i'm broke. This was supposed to be a service for building him a few computers and now he has a bunch of broken ones.", "summary": "= I'm 17, wen't into contract with someone across the country selling a computer, it came broken, and FedEx is denying the insurance claim. He wants a refund. WTFDOIDO"} {"id": "t3_4fk9ce", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[29/M] Infatuated with a woman who isn't my wife.", "post": "Alright, so I need some serious advice. So, I'm 29 and married. Have been married, happily--I'll add, for the entirety of our relationship. For the sake of anonymity I'll keep some specifics vague. We've been married for more than 5 years, but less than 8. Recently (6 months or so), I have been going to a new gym and working out. And that's where I met \"her.\" We never actually spoken more than a few words, and to be honest, my wife is more attractive. But something about her draws me to her. We have coy spurts of eye contact. Sometimes I'll catch her looking at me and vice versa. There is a feeling of attraction that I can't shake. It's a natural connection, without conversation. Poweful and mind boggling. And I have no idea what would happen if we ever actually talked. I avoid the encounter and I think she does too (knowing that I'm married). But, what do I do? Leave the gym? The proximity and quality of the gym, along with the price make it the perfect place. And when I'm not there, I don't think of \"her.\" But when we are there together she's 90% of my thoughts. Kind of shitting on my workouts, actually. Anyway, I encounter plenty of women in a daily basis, and some more frequent than others, but nothing like this attraction occurs. I'm truly at a loss. Any advice?!", "summary": "I'm in love with the girl from my gym. I'm married. And the girl from the gym and I never have actually had a conversation."} {"id": "t3_1oujlm", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "If a person does certain things with one hand and certain things with the other, but cannot do these things with the opposite hand, what are they considered? More detailed and coherent question inside.", "post": "First off I'll say the obvious. The reason I am asking this is because it describes me.\n\nI write with my left hand. I brush my teeth with my left hand. If I'm using a utensil to eat, I use my left hand. But if I just grab food, I use my right. I play sports with my right. If I were asked to raise my hand, I would raise my right. I play double bass (string bass) and guitar and play both right-handed.\n\nI guess I might as well add that I'm right-footed. Unfortunately I can't write with my left foot.\n\nI've started taking an intro to psychology class and am learning more about the right and left sides of the brain. I don't understand why, instead of favoring one side of the brain for everything, my body favors a different side depending on the activity. I was just curious if anyone has any knowledge about this sort of thing. I find the brain extremely interesting and wanna know what the heck is going on with mine.", "summary": "I'm not right-handed. I'm not left-handed. And I'm not ambidextrous. What does that make me?"} {"id": "t3_1anonw", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "[20f] I don't know how to feel about his [22m] new job offer, it's better but the old one is here [x-post from /r/relationship_advice/", "post": "We've been together for 5 months. I am a college sophomore, he is graduating in May. So far things have been amazing, whirlwind even. We're in love, it's the healthiest and most positive relationship either of us has had, we've decided we want to live together, there are late night whispers about kids and growing old together, even marriage. But he's graduating, so he's starting his career, enter issues.\n\nJob 1: Good pay, great benefits, local, but he isn't a huge fan of the work (he interned with this company throughout college) and would only want it to be temporary.\n\nJob 2:(the offer hasn't been finalized but is very likely) Preferable work, nice location, good company atmosphere, basically he really likes them, but its across the country from our college. \n\nHe knew Job 2 was a possibility pretty early in our relationship and would say that if he got it he was taking it, no questions asked, which seemed fair 6 weeks in. But as serious as we are... how are supposed to \"build a life together\" from so far apart? He also knows that m program will last another 3 years. I don't necessarily want him to turn it down if he gets it, but is it wrong to want to feel like we can have a discussion where I get considered? We're even looking at apartments for if he stays. I just don't think I could do 3 yr LDR... Is there a way to compromise? How weird is delaying acceptance of a job offer by 10-18 months? Should I even bring this up? If so, how soon?", "summary": "He has 2 job offers and wants to take the one that will separate in spite of him saying he's in this for the long haul. We haven't even discussed other possibilities. What do?"} {"id": "t3_4sdygr", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "[Text] Eating healthy motivation", "post": "It's hard to explain the feeling, but I will try to describe it as best I can, even if I only help a few people.\n\nI love the taste of taco bell or pizza or many other unhealthy foods of that sort. I workout and I don't eat large quantities, yet I am overweight, so I know that this is mostly due to my unhealthy eating habits. I am trying to start eating healthier and one positive way of thinking that has helped me so far is as follows:\n\nIf you are caught between cooking something healthy at home, such as rice and chicken, or picking up something unhealthy, like fast food, it is easy to say that the fast food will be easier and taste better, but the point is, you are consuming the same amount of food. While you are eating, the food may taste a little bit better if you choose the unhealthy option, but that joy is outweighed by the joy of feeling good about eating healthy afterwards. You will be full after your meal either way, and you will either feel guilty about eating unhealthy or feel good about choosing the healthier option. Also, it can help save money and teach you how to cook better!\n\nAs I stated above, it's very hard for me to describe the feeling, but this way of thinking has helped me choose the healthier option many times, and if you can phrase it in a way that speaks to you, I promise it helps!!", "summary": "When choosing what to eat, remember that you will be full after the meal regardless of what you eat, so choose the option that will make you feel better about being healthy!"} {"id": "t3_26k2bp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Girlfriend [20 F] of 8 months may be attracted to her guy friend. What to do? [21 M]", "post": "I've been in this relationship for 8 months now and I have to admit I'm insecure. The problem is that recently she has been getting close with her guy friend. Months ago she told me that this guy friend liked her and she only thought of him as a friend. I'm afraid that's no longer the case. Recently, they have been getting close, to the point where they would have deep talks about relationships and other topics. The following are just things I've observed. She would always chat with him online. Whenever I'm with her and she receives a text from this guy, she would smile and concentrate only on texting him back. However, when she gets text from other people(me included) she would take forever to respond. It frustrates me because I catch her on several occasions sneakily hiding her phone when shes texting. Keep in mind that I've never questioned her about the content of their convos. My girlfriend and I went to the club a few days ago and her guy friend was there also. Throughout the night I see her taking glances at him to see if he was having fun with another girl. When this one drunk girl sat on his lap, my girlfriend helped him by pulling her off. Its been 8 months and I feel like I'm being taken for granted already. I just want to know from your perspectives if these observations are deemed as red flags. If they are, what should I do?", "summary": "Gf has been talking to her guy friend a lot recently. Her guy friend liked her but she told me that he is friend zoned. I think otherwise."} {"id": "t3_l5h62", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Need unbiased opinion of my relationship?", "post": "I'm 21, and my boyfriend is 20 (I am also a guy, derp). I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost two years. We have a great time together when we don't piss each other off, which is quite often in recent months. I've had to leave my job due to an injury, and money is getting tighter, and I may have to be back to my parent's place if things don't look up.\n\nMy parents are asking me to go ahead and pack up and move home, but that would mean giving up on my relationship (we live quite far from my parents). I'm not sure I want to do that, because I think we could fix our problems and continue to be happy. On the other hand, I would have a FAR less stressful life and be able to save money and go to school full time. I'm really stressed out over this (which is shitty because I was already quite stressed over looking for employment, our relationship, etc).", "summary": "Have an iffy relationship I don't want to give up on, running out of money, no job, parents offer place to stay a couple hours away."} {"id": "t3_2xy0rq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [39M] husband of 18 years has fallen victim to a manipulative person", "post": "My (38F) husband (39M) is being manipulated by his 'friend' and I don't know what to do. He says she is a good person who 'is lost' and 'troubled'. He says he realizes people have addictions, and will not end the friendship. I've tried explaining what she is doing to him but it doesn't matter.\n\nRecently her boyfriend found heroin on his bedroom floor (he lives with us temporarily) and confronted her. My husband has tried to help her with drugs in the past, (with prescription drugs, from what she has told us, as far as we know). By being supportive, things like that. The heroin was found Sunday. Husband was very angry and told her not to come by anymore, but that lasted a day. Husband invited her back over to our house last night. I told him I didn't want her around anymore. Who knows what kind of shit she has been bringing into our house. (It's not the kind of addiction where she can't operate on a daily basis, she has a job and drives around a lot.)\n\nShe has been playing the victim role, the seduction role, and using diversion/evasion tactics as well. Husband doesn't care, he wants to continue being her friend. He is the kind of person with a big heart and believes he is helping just by being in her life. He is being manipulated and I don't know what to do.\n\nWe've known the couple almost a year now.", "summary": "Husband is victim to manipulator. He is willing to forgive that she is still doing drugs and thinks he is doing good by being her friend."} {"id": "t3_4530t5", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "(28/f) Trying to figure out my husband's (27/m) behavior regarding TTC", "post": "Hey ladies-- \n\nMy husband and I have been together for over 3 years and we very much want a family. We both want to adopt and have biological children. \n\nWell, we decided to pursue adoption first and, after a very long, painful battle, we had an international adoption fail in October. I was honestly crushed. My husband was also upset, but since he had never met the child (I had), I think it was a bit easier for him to deal with. The adoption agency wanted us to start over, but I just couldn't and we agreed to wait a while and pursue biological children while I'm still of an appropriate age, and pursue another adoption in a couple of years. \n\nWe started officially trying in December, and we've both been excited. My husband is always talking about baby names, researching new products, and even looking at schools. We're using an app (per my doctor's recommendation) to track fertile days so we'll be accurate about conception dates. We have a very healthy sex life so I really didn't foresee any problems. \n\nEven though he usually initiates, I tried to initiate sex last night. He said he wasn't feeling it. I asked if he thought I was being too pushy/ trying to schedule sex-- he said that wasn't the problem. \n\nHe said he's worried if I'm too focused on getting pregnant, and we're not successful, I'll take it too hard. \n\nI know he is thinking about my reaction to the failed adoption, and I appreciate his concern, but how does preventing pregnancy now protect me from being upset about not being pregnant? He wants me to take it easy and not put pressure on myself, but I feel like his behavior is sabotaging our efforts. \n\nI know he wants a baby, he talks about it all the time-- even just to his friends. He has, from our first date, wanted to be a father, so I just don't understand his hesitation now. \n\nHow should I handle this?", "summary": "Husband wants a baby but doesn't want to try to conceive because he's afraid failure would be too hard on me."} {"id": "t3_2cpz3p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my wife[25 F] of 1.5 years, tired of comparisions all the time", "post": "Hi all,\nWe were in a long distance relationship of 2 years before we got married last year . Almost immediately after we got married we tended to fight a lot , and i noticed the fights were almost everytime me defending myself against a comparision she made about something her friends husband/bf did !\n\nI thought it was a one of thing but this has become almost a weekly thing! Last month she got so irritated by seeing her friends honeymoon pics that she deleted her facebook account! Its not that we dont on trips , might not be too many but ~once a month on an average . I am in a new higher paying job but more taxing job and after marriage she left her job for a lesser paying more relaxed job (which i readily agreed for her to join after i realized doing nothing at home caused her to get even more irritable!)\n\nI am an introvert and not really good at things like dancing , singing which she wants me too and our fights have just increased in frequency. Her anger becomes too much at times with things like i want to leave , want to quit and next 2 weeks everything will be splending when again she will say something like this.\n\nOur personalities are very different , mine subdued and easy going and hers extrovert . I really do love her a lot and cant even think about her leaving and so does she behind all her fights i know she loves me but are these comparisions normal? Does every girl do it and this much ? I have stopped visiting my friends with her in case she sees someone doing something i have not done for her.\n\nThe worst thing is everyfight she brings up all these things that continously pileup and whatever i will plan i know it wont be enough . What the hell do i do? I really feel inferior and have considered whether ending my life will top everyone.", "summary": "Tired with my wife comparing me with every other couple we come across. Nothing i do will be enough , but i love her too much to giveup . Is there anything i can do to end this?"} {"id": "t3_1ykxmg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20 M] Have been talking to this girl [19F] for about Three weeks and I've got some questions.", "post": "So I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks, and things have been going great between us. We met at a bonfire at a buddy's house, and we were set up through a mutual friend who was also there. She's a great girl and is just generally awesome. There have been some questions raised on my behalf. The first was that when the idea of a relationship was brought up, she stated that she was in fact interested in a relationship with me. I told her one day I'd like to make her my girlfriend and she said \" That'd be really nice :)\" which made me super happy, but she also said she wants to \"see where things go between us\" as she's busy with pledging a sorority and school/work... But one thing that raised a red flag in my book is that she mentioned that she's \"Not very good with commitment\". Now I was cheated on by my last girlfriend and this set off some alarms for me, but I'm not trying to let my past affect my future but I cant help but feel some anxiousness here. We've gone out on one date last week and things went great, and we haven't even kissed yet, but its obvious that we're both interested in each other. So I'm just coming to y'all for an outside opinion. What is this girl waiting for? and what does her fear of commitments mean?", "summary": "Girl says she is interested, wants to see where things go and she is afraid of commitment. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_tygdu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Sometimes I feel we should just vent. Reddit, what something particularly bad that's happened recently that you need to vent about?", "post": "I'll go first:\n \nI'm making this cause I was broken up with this morning. She was awesome. For a long time, she liked spending time with me, it seemed, but these last few weeks, it's been apparent something was up. It isn't a horrible thing, it's just truly one of those moments where I really truly loved someone and when she said she didn't want to be with me anymore, I said ok. I don't know who else knows this, but if you really do love someone, you'll let them go, and the sadness after isn't so bad, because you'll know you did the right thing. So use that sadness.\n \nBecause at least you'll know he/she is happy. She really was a great girl, and we've been together for almost a year and 1/2. The longest I've ever been with somebody. It feels stupid typing this out, simply because I feel bad, but it's therapeutic. My beagle was also killed around 2 months ago, so I'm in a pretty low place. Can anyone else share an experience so I know I'm not the only one having a bad day?\n \nThanks guys. She showed me Reddit, as well. Yup, a lot of good came from out relationship.", "summary": "Was broken up with today and was wondering about anyone else's bad day. Maybe we can cheer each other up. Funny shit is welcome."} {"id": "t3_43b1s9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I, (19/M) fell in love with a (16/F) who doesn't believe in love or relationships.", "post": "So, I feel in love with this girl whom I find, incredible. She is someone who can, somehow, calm me down and make me feel relaxed, which is weird because no one has ever been able to do that. And she just great. Not much needed to be said about that. One day she asked me if I believed in love, where I said yes and she told me how she saw love as a sort of bad thing, that it only causes pain, confusion, sadness and grief.\nI told her about the benefits, about being happy, feeling understood, feeling that void in ones heart being filled, having someone there for you at all times, and obviously and \"freuddly\", the sex.\nShe acknowledged those facts and said that, even if they are great, \"You don't need to be in a relationship to be happy, understood, have someone or anything like that, and the good things don't make all the bad things worth it\".\nTo me this was a bigger shot to the heart then Bon Jovi could ever sing about.\nFunnily enough, I told her I liked her and she got weird... She didn't say no, or yes, she simply said that I didn't know her well enough to like her, that she didn't believe in relationships, and that she liked talking to me and my company. This confused me......\n\nThe 2 of us still talk a lot and spend time with each other. Actually even more after I told her. \n\nI love this girl. She is one of the most incredible people I've meet in a long time. I want her to be mine and for me to be hers. But, I don't know what to do. I've only known her for 3 weeks, but it feel like 3 years.\n\nCan anyone give me some advice on how to get this girl I love to want to be with me or to at least help me find a way to get closer to her?\nAny and all help is very welcome.", "summary": "Me like girl. Girl probably likes me. Girl no like relationships/love. I want relationship/love with her. Me confused and don't know what to do. Help."} {"id": "t3_ehzc5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I need your advice.", "post": "I have been a resident assistant at my college for a full year now. I have enjoyed it, but this semester things have changed. Housing has a bunch of new people and they are all trying to change things. They have also begun piling a lot of work on us and it's starting to effect my school work. In short, my heart's just not in it and I needed out. On top of that, I can't afford to be an RA anymore because I need a job that makes money. The 200 a semester they pay me just isn't cutting it. I decided to step down and told my boss a couple weeks ago. Living on campus is very expensive, and there is an apartment complex a mile from campus that is cheaper. I, along with 3 other RA's that quit as well all decided to move in together. We've done all the paperwork, and I'm set to move in this Friday. I wrote an e-mail to our assistant director of housing right after I quit informing him that due to financial hardship, I need to get out of my housing contract. As an RA, we are forced to sign housing contracts because they allow us to live on campus for free. i finally received an e-mail back from him today saying that because he saw that I receive X amount of financial aid, plus I'm eligible for a loan, he has no choice but to deny me the cancellation of my contract. He said the best he can do is change my status to off campus but obligated. This means I will have to pay 1920 to have a room on campus, even though I don't physically live there. I don't know what to do. I had to quit being an RA because I couldn't afford it, and now they want me to pay them 2000 dollars. Does anyone have advice for what I could do to get out of paying it? Or at least any alternative suggestions?", "summary": "Quit RA job because I'm broke, need out of housing contract on campus, only way is to pay 2000 dollars. Can they do that?"} {"id": "t3_10gfa6", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Help ! Legal professionals of reddit what do you think I should do (details inside)", "post": "am an unlicensed Paralegal Graduate located in Toronto,ON.\n\nI was recently contacted by someone who wants me to look over a civil case they are a part of.\n\n\"Duty is to respond back to civil suit that was filed through the superior court of justice. To examine case, and to respond back with all necessary paperwork.\"\n\nThats what it said on the ad.\n\nHe wants me to look over the case pull up forms he needs to fill out and I guess file them for him.\n\nNow my question is am I breaking any rules or regulations by helping him fill out forms? I know as an unlicensed paralegal I can't give him any legal advice and I made that clear to him but is there anything else I should be aware of?", "summary": "Dude wants help with paperwork, not sure if good oppurtunity or fucking myself over with Law Society of Upper Canada. Thanks."} {"id": "t3_4r7zdf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21M] feel trapped, like I can't get in a relationship without losing my bestfriend.", "post": "Hi all,\n\nIt's been a long 7 years of me being in love with my bestfriend, 19F, we have had the occasional fling between us and she has always said that their is potential between us in the future, I feel like i'm holding on to hope. \n\nI love her to pieces and can't move on, in the back of my head I am hoping for there to be something between us one day.. when that day will ever come, idk. She leads me on and we have sex occasionally which probably makes it worse for me..\n\nBasically, I have tried to tell her that if I was to find somebody else, that she would most likely have to be gone out of my life, like realistically what sort of girl would allow their boyfriend to continue speaking/seeing a girl that they have previously loved for 7 years? Not going to happen. I've spoke to her about this and she's like what so if you got with someone you're going to ruin our friendship? We are best friends blabla you can't just do that, and I couldn't, I feel like I really couldn't ditch her as a bestfriend as she means so much to me. \n\nI'm terrible with writing and their is probably much more to it than what I have put up there but yeah, I feel like i'm trapped of not being able to get with anyone without losing her as a bestfriend, + I don't think i'd actually be able to see anyone else with her as my bestfriend anyway because of the feelings I have for her.", "summary": "Love my bestfriend, feel like I can't move on without ditching her off, couldn't do that to her. TRAPPED"} {"id": "t3_4p8h8x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [50 M] with my Wife[49 F] of 23 years, was angry when I left the house for half an hour before our Son's [8M] bedtime.", "post": "I am home pretty much every evening, and I practically always cook the family dinner (5:30 PM). Then I clean up the kitchen and chill while my wife runs our son's bath and we are around the house as a family.\n\nThen at bedtime for our boy, (6:45 - 7:00) I read to him in bed for about half an hour. We enjoy this time together, and we have read many great things, including The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter as well as educational stuff like The Kon-Tiki Expedition and A Hellen Keller biography as well as novels geared to his age. Our son is very interested and engaged in everything we read, even if it is above his age level.\n\nTonight wife was angry because I told her I was going out after dinner to give advice to a neighbour and good friend regarding a reno project. I cleaned up the kitchen and left at 6, leaving her and son to do the bath routine. I was home by 6:30 for the bedtime and reading routine.\n\nThis is what my wife said about my leaving; \"Why did you decide to do this now instead of waiting until son was in bed?\" \"You are putting your friend ahead of your son's needs.\" \"You are wrong to do this and you know it.\" \nShe also tried to denigrate the value of my reading to my son, by implying that I read to him largely for selfish reasons, evidenced by the fact that I read things I like to him.", "summary": "Wife thinks I was totally unreasonable for me to duck out for half an hour to help a friend between dinner and kid's bedtime. Thoughts?"} {"id": "t3_3dcm67", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by pushing the guy I like", "post": "Tifu by potentially ruining a great relationship. I've been seeing this guy for about a month now. I like him. A lot. But he's really quiet and doesn't express his feelings very much. I, on the other hand, probably express my feelings too much.\n\nOne thing to know about this guy is that he hasn't had a real relationship in 10 years. I knew this so I didn't want to push him and scare him off. We hung out on Saturday and he said something along the lines of, if I get any offers to hang out with other guys that I should do it.\n\nNow this has been driving me crazy so I asked him about it today and basically forced him to confront his feelings and he kind of freaked out. He told me that he doesn't know what to think or say and that he needs time to think about everything. I don't know if he's scared because he does want to be with me or if he doesn't want to be with me and he just doesn't know how to say it. \n\nSo now I have to just sit and wait for him to talk to me again. It's killing me. I hate not knowing. But I can't push him anymore than I already have. I guess I learned my lesson.", "summary": "I pushed a quiet guy to open up about his feelings and now I don't know if I'll ever see him again."} {"id": "t3_iwr2g", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Got flown out for a job interview on short notice, with still no response. What are my chances?", "post": "So here's the deal:\n\nTwo weeks ago on Tuesday, I received a one line email from this company's HR rep, asking if I could fly out for an interview (the email address checked out, and the company was legitimate, so I bit) [*sidenote, at first I had no clue who these guys were so I felt a bit odd at first, but then about a week later I realized I applied for the position on Monster about 3 months ago*]. Long story short (and some more really short emails later), I agree, two other people contact me, and on Wednesday morning I receive a call, and my flight, 4 star lodging, and rental car are booked, with my departure being just after noon that day (direct flight, with window seats like I asked).\n\nThey ask me to make a presentation about my self and all this other stuff, so I do it all, and prepare myself for the interview. To spare you the grueling details of the 4-5 hour ordeal, the interview went well, and I believe I responded well to all the interviewer's questions, both as a group and individually.\n\nSo now, two weeks later, I'm expecting to have heard a response from HR, but still nothing. how long should I wait before it's a bust, considering the lengths they went through to get me there and interview? The position is great, and it'd move my career just as I'd like.", "summary": "Company flies me out and puts me up on short notice two weeks ago. Interview went well, still no response. Time to give up?"} {"id": "t3_1n5u3f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 F] with my bf [22 M] of a year and a half don't seem the same for me.", "post": "My bf, 22/M, and I, 23/F, have been dating for a year and a half and things seem to be going downhill for me while everything is going uphill for my him. In the beginning of the relationship, I was more into it posting pictures on social networks, introducing him to my friends, etc. He seemed like he didn't really want our relationship to be known. He's a marine and his friends are back home in the states. I've met his friends here, but I've never met his actual friends. His lack of expressing our relationship made me feel like he was ashamed of me and didn't want anybody to know. \n\nWe've had arguments and he started hiding things on his facebook, especially posts from his other females friends, so I automatically lost my trust for him there. I even brought up breaking up after that. He didn't want to break up and we're still trying it out, but honestly, the relationship seemed to have died down for me since then.\n\nNow, he is the one who's really into the relationship. Always saying lovey dovey stuff, him wanting to take me home with him to meet his family and close friends back home, wanting to match outfits, taking pictures, and all that stuff. He's even been bringing up marriage a lot lately. \n\nI just feel overwhelmed and feel as if he's all of the sudden become over attached.", "summary": "boyfriend who showed no interest in our relationship has become overly attacked in the last couple of months. I'm not too sure how to feel about this."} {"id": "t3_28jlk9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my ex girlfriend [22 F] of 3 years, We broke up last year and it still bothers me a lot", "post": "So, We were together for 2 years, and I had to move out of city for a job. It lasted 10 months into the job where the relationship got rough, and we broke up. IT was actually pretty rough, and she started dating a guy right away. It hurt me a lot. I thought like \"What a bitch\". either way, it has caused me a big depression. I was posting on here like crazy at first but someone told me I needed to calm down, so I haven't been on in 4 months.\n\nSince then, I graduated college, and I'm going to a new university (my ex goes to this university) and I would like to meet someone new...but I keep meeting girls, and It's either I'm not interested and they like me, or I like them but they're not interested. \n\nI would really like to meet someone when school starts, but all these girls I'm meeting I just don't feel it for, and it's causing me to be depressed again. I don't even know how to meet people anymore.\n\nMy ex girlfriend hurt me a lot. Like a whole lot, after the break up, she said a lot of really hurtful things, and just hasn't talked to me since. I look okay, and I'm pretty smart, and I like to stay fit, and have a job. Although, I'm still probably a 7/10, My personality is very factual though.\n\nHow do I get over her? and meet someone new that I feel is worthy of dating?", "summary": "1.How do I get over a depression of a break up? 2. How do I meet a girl who I think would be perfect for me?"} {"id": "t3_ok5n3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Boyfriend depressed, breaks plans", "post": "Me, 24(f), him, 25(m). My boyfriend of three years is suffering with depression. He constantly complains that he's a failure because he \"can't\" get a good job, and he has been having issues getting through college. Literally every other time we have plans to do something, he ends up texting me to say he's too sad to hang out, that he just wants to go home, drink, and go to bed. He won't really talk to me for a few days afterward, either. He does this to friends as well, and as a result he doesn't have any friends in the area anymore. \nI want to be understanding, because I know he just doesn't feel like being around anyone, but to me canceling plans so often is disrespectful. Whenever he hangs out with somebody anyway, he always ends up having a great time, so I also can't help but feel this is all very self destructive. I've tried to politely talk to him about it a few times, but he just deflects and I always come alway feeling like a jerk. \n\nWhat do you think reddit? Am I out of line to feel upset? If not, what would you do to help the situation?", "summary": "Boyfriend always cancels plans because he's depressed. Not sure what to do, or if I'm justified in feeling annoyed."} {"id": "t3_ewuk2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How can I convince my parents to let me live off-campus next year?", "post": "Backstory: I'm a sophomore right now living in the dorms (my choice to live in there for the second year in a row) but I want to get an apartment off-campus with a couple buddies down my hall.\n\nMy parents however, have decided to throw a wrench in those plans by informing me they think I would be able to focus better if I was living on campus again. Either in the dorms or an on-campus apartment.\n\nI know it doesn't matter where I live, studying is studying. But for some reason they won't get this through their heads. Any advice?", "summary": "Sophomore in college wants to live off-campus next year. Parents think there will be focus-related issues living off-campus. Advice?"} {"id": "t3_2sduag", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "Help! My boyfriend's dog has attacked my dog three times now.", "post": "My boyfriend and I live together. He has a female pit bull and I have a male bernese mountain dog mix. My boyfriend moved into my place and we started by taking them on walks together which went great! We brought them inside together and Bear, my dog, was too up in her face. He looked to be showing dominance of some sort in a non aggressive way and she went after him. She latched onto him and wouldn't let go. We tried again and the same thing happened. The last time was yesterday, she was in our room and he was in the hallway, we had the door open for only a moment and she ran out and grabbed him, completely unprovoked. We could not get her off of him, her jaw was completely locked on him. I'm terrified and frankly I'm starting to resent her. Someone please help me!", "summary": "My boyfriend's dog scares the shit out of me and I'm afraid she's going to do serious harm to my dog."} {"id": "t3_2cc43t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I am (19) female who is worried about her (M19) boyfriend moving away to university", "post": "We have known each other for the past 8 years and he has wanted us to be together for that period of time and now together mentions how I'm the only girl he wants- \n\nWe have only now been going out for 2 months and I will be attending second year at university in September and he will be attending first year however his university is 4 hours away\n\nI am now starting to worry about long distance, we are starting to get closer and I can have the opportunity to transfer to his university but I don't know what to do", "summary": "should I transfer to his university? I still have not spoken to him about how I feel with us going to be apart"} {"id": "t3_34wjgt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] and best friend [21F] - Everyone knew about the engagement but me. Am I wrong in feeling a little upset??", "post": "Basically, my best friend and I have been friends for several years. She has been dating her boyfriend for 3 years. Apparently everyone knew about his plans to propose since way before this happened - which was this weekend. \n\nEveryone (including his friends) was invited up north to attend this special event. Meanwhile, I had zero idea. I feel kind of left out. I don't know. I feel like I'm being an entitled, stupid brat. Don't get me wrong - I am incredibly happy for them and I think they're a perfect match. I am just so over the moon for my best friend right now. \n\nBut a tiny little part of me hurts that I was left out - especially since we are so close (well, at least I thought we were).\n\nI'm not sure if it was just entirely unintended or there's something else. For some background, she totally hates the guy I'm dating right now. Reason for that is because I made the mistake of complaining whenever we got into a fight (my boyfriend and I) to her. Now she thinks he's terrible. That's my bad. I take full responsibility. I've tried to do damage control, but to no avail. But this is another post in an of itself. \n\nAnyway, I just feel a little... ostracized, I guess. I know this is NOT about me. Someone kick me in the teeth and bring me back down to Earth please.", "summary": "My best friend of several years got engaged and everyone knew about it but me. Feeling a little ostracized. Don't know if I'm being a spoiled brat or it's okay to feel a little hurt by that."} {"id": "t3_1qtlkt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [27F] get [30M] to ask me out again without coming on too strong?", "post": "Went on a really good first date with this guy I met through an online dating app. I had no expectations and had never met anyone off it before but had no idea I would like the guy so much!\n\nI thought it was a good date, winded up having a few drinks and talking for almost 5 hours and had a lot in common. He even walked me home in the rain. When it came time to say goodbye we had a really nice kiss, he even kissed me again before walking away to go home. It was really sweet.\n\nI texted him the next day and said I had a nice time. We texted a few times over the weekend and then mid week I asked him how he was doing (he broke his finger that weekend). We texted back and forth and he finally asked what I was doing on the weekend. I said I might have dinner on Friday and a lunch thing Saturday if it wasn't raining. I asked what he was doing and he said he wasn't sure bec it was an unexpected free weekend finally (couldn't work because his finger is broken).\n\nBut he didn't ask me out? So now I'm confused.\n\nDid he want me to ask HIM out? I thought by getting in touch he would have at least said something along the lines of we should hang out if you're not too busy or something to that extent... But instead just said he wasn't sure yet? Such a bizarre response.\n\nIs all hope lost or what should I do? He would ask me out again if he was interested? Just confused on what to do from here since I really liked him, and it's rare when you find someone that you really get along with straight away! It's only been a little over a week since our first date but it would be good to keep the momentum going but don't want to come on too strong...", "summary": "How do I get him to ask me out again without coming on too strong? I've already initiated contact twice, but no second date yet. Help!"} {"id": "t3_2tcwe1", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "You Stuffed Me Up.. But I Think I'm Winning. Finally.", "post": "You were the girl that made me something I never wanted to be...\n\nYou used me to pay, drive you, take you out & make you feel special but kept me at arms length, our mutual friends knew exactly what you were doing but never told me. 3 months until you said you need to focus on your studies and from there weeks until you had a Boyfriend..\n\n4 months until it was all over and we met again at a party, not had spoken a word to each other.. I was still f@cked up with what happened as you were the girl that I actually fell in love with.\n\nI let my heart give you another chance but it is still the biggest mistake of my life.\n\nFast forward 8 months of the same of keeping me at arm's length which I stupidly don't even know as I'm so blinded by my feelings for you.\n\nYou do it again you say you need to focus on yourself its not working... \n\nYou left me AGAIN for someone else. 1 week. It killed me.\n\nDepression hit me hard I didn't know if it was me or you.. \n\nI'm finally out of this 3 and half year runt.. I've kept girls at an arm's length and used them as you used me.. played with their emotions not giving two shits about them.. I've apologized as it's the right thing to do because I know I was wrong and given them the closure you never gave me.\n\nIts now that its all over I know I've grown and become 100 times better person.. You made me something I never wanted to be but now its over.. your hold is on me is over... \n\nI've now happy, I don't need that closure. Because If it wasn't for my temporary insanity I wouldn't be working where I am and about to have a trip of a lifetime with some of my best friends!", "summary": "she played me for so long, was blinded by Love.. feels good to not need closure. 2014-2015 is going to be great!!"} {"id": "t3_3rk3ag", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [31 F] with my fianc\u00e9 [31 M] two years, am having hard time getting any quiet time to work at home. Help!", "post": "My fianc\u00e9 & I started a business together & it's been going well, except for one thing... he just won't be quiet while I'm trying to work, & no amount of 'Honey, I would love to talk, but right now I'm in the middle of something, ok?' or 'Can we agree to make eye contact & check to see if the other person is busy before we start a conversation?' seems to stop him.\n\nOur apartment is way too small to get away from him, & if I put on headphones, he sees it as an opportunity to start playing music loudly (lately it's been Hotline Bling on loop, which is almost worse than the talking). \n\nI've been leaving to work in coffee shops, but I'm wearing out my welcome at the spots near our apartment, & it's dumb that I spend all day buying lattes when we have a great home office. \n\nI don't think he means ill, but (clearly) I'm frustrated, & I'd really appreciate any tips for talking to him about this in a grown-up way, because right now I just want to be like 'GODDAMMIT, MAN; I CANNOT DO MY EXCEL FUNCTIONS WITH YOUR INFERNAL BLATHERING'.\n\nA little bit more context:\nHis side of the business is very different from mine \u2014 he works in fits & starts coding throughout the day, while I need long periods of quiet & concentration to do data analysis. \n\nHe's also not great at reading social cues, so me staring down at laptop typing feverishly while wearing headphones apparently reads to him as 'a good time to explain my latest theory about why Third Eye Blind's first album is so timeless to u/PM_ME_A_PLESIOSAURUS!'", "summary": "Fianc\u00e9 is a sweet man, but talks at me constantly while I'm trying to work from home & is making my job very difficult."} {"id": "t3_17kqvk", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [23/m] am in a weird \"relationship\" with my [23/f] friend.", "post": "Im probably going to sound like a jerk but anyway, about a month ago things started to get a bit more flirty than usual with my friend from highschool. Lets call her Julie. We were out with our friends and as the evening was coming to an end, I (being the designated driver) took the friends home. Julie\u00b4s place was last so we were alone. I parked infront of her house and we talked for a while about relationships and so on. She always knew I found her sexy. We were kinda half-jokingy talking about us two having sex, but nothing really happened in the car.\n\nNow in January, she has been away from home, but she is coming back in a couple of days. Throught this months she started chatting with me online in a very flirtatious manner. I didn\u00b4t mind and responded the same way, thinking this could lead to some sexy time later on. \n\nThe thing is, she is starting to sound really clingy on the chat. I think she is thinking about this as a true relationship. Even though I prefer a real loving relationship over friends with benefits, I have a problem. I know I couldn\u00b4t stand her for too long. She is really not the kind of girl i would want to date. Not having too many opportunities like this, I would love to just be friends with benefits. A real relationship with Julie would not last long and would probably not end well.\n\nSo I\u00b4m kinda in a pickle right now. I would really want to have sex with Julie, but I don\u00b4t want to be a dick and pretend that I love her, because I don\u00b4t. I probably sound like a real douche, but I would greatly appreciate your advice.", "summary": "I have been flirting with a friend online thinking we both just want some sexy time. She probably wants more, but I know we are not a good fit for a relationship."} {"id": "t3_wfwuu", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "There's something wrong with me. Pretty sure.", "post": "So, I went and joined this website basically for hooking up. I think that's ba enough as it is really. \n\nBut then, after a couple of drinks, I decided to pay as small amount of money for a couple of days trial of the full service. Contact members, the whole deal. Idiot.\n\nBut wait, that's not all! With this deal that already includes stupidity, ignorance and an immature teenage mind, I'll also throw in a girlfriend of over a year!\n\nWhy I did this, I do not know. I love my girl. I've got this weird thing... I just call it a personality flaw. I have a fear of... Missing out on something I guess. I've had it with all sorts of things from sport to school to... this now. She's the only girl I've been with, that's the only thing I can think of that drove my stupid brain to do such a dumb thing. I want to erase everything that's happened the last 48 hours! God damn. Sorry for blurting at the end there.", "summary": "? Please read some at least. I need some help here. I'm in a bad way, feel terrible. Sort of hate myself."} {"id": "t3_3c3f8q", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by telling a girl I really liked about my recent ex", "post": "This happened last Saturday. I had recently broken up with my GF of 3 years, and we still talk and she's been trying to push me onto the dating scene to 'move on'.\nSo, I oblige in the hopes it might help with the break up and stuff, and I recall a girl I was speaking to a few weeks before the break up (nothing bad, just in class at college). She seemed really nice, so I thought \"Why not talk to her?\". So I did the only thing I could now that college had finished, I found her on FB and messaged her. Things were going well, we hit it off and had even set up a date. A couple of days after she was at a party and stayed on the phone to me drunk for most of the night, so she was obviously into me.\n\nThen the fuck up happened. \n\nIt isn't dramatic, just stupid. I felt pretty bad for trying to date so soon, and I told her this, explained that I'd just broken up with my GF, and that I still had feelings for her etc, but that I thought she was a really lovely girl and that I'd really like to get to know you more. She didn't see it that way and saw herself as a rebound. So I lost out on getting to know a really nice person who I clicked really well with because I tried being honest.", "summary": "Broke up with GF of three years, tried dating, fucked up by telling new girl I still had feelings for ex."} {"id": "t3_30x4fx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by posting a picture of myself with my sister", "post": "A little bit of background, Im 18 [girl] and my sister is 19. We haven't really gotten around to being close because of some personal reasons I won't go into\u2013 but we basically do not have any idea of what is happening with each other's lives since we never talk.\n\nAnyways, my friends and I decided to go to this huge sport event last Friday. Earlier that day I overheard my sister telling my mum that she is also going, with, of course, her friends. Since both of us were going, I suggested that we should just split a cab to the venue so we can both save $15. On our way to the stadium, she asked me to take a picture of us- I did and because we both thought we look nice in the picture, I decided to post it on Facebook.\n\nOn my way home that night, I got a message from this guy we would call Jack.\n\n* Jack: Hey cutie. Whats good?\n\nJack is one good-looking lad who used to be in my school and my sister's ex-boyfriend. Jack and I never talked and never in a million years did I expect he will talk to me since she dated my sister who may or may not talked shit about me. Tipsy and weirded out, I didn't respond. Not getting the hint, he messaged me again at noon the next day. Still finding the situation weird, I again didn't respond. Jack perhaps saw that I just kept opening his messages, he sent me another...\n\n* Jack: Damn girl don't drop double seens on a brother!\n\nThis time I decided to answer for the reason that it seemed like he will just keep bugging me until he gets a message back.\n\n* Me: Hey sorry, was hungover and out of it today.\n* Jack: Haha alright sounds like you had an enjoyable time. Do me a favour and hit me up when you feel chill!\n* Me: To be fair it was [mentions the sport event]. Ok? Whats up though?\n\nHe later then threw out the \"are you single?\" bomb which officially signals that he is trying to flirt with me... his ex-girlfriend's sister.", "summary": "Posted a picture of me and my sister on Facebook. Sister's ex-boyfriend saw it, keeps messaging me and now trying to flirt with me."} {"id": "t3_1dlb1p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend (16/f) and I (16/m) are currently taking a break", "post": "I posted this yesterday over on a different subreddit but didn't get a lot of advice there, so I'm posting here because of the larger community and I would really appreciate all the feedback I get.\n\nSo here's some background information. Me and my girlfriend have been dating since December 18, 2011, so a little over a year now. We're both sophomores in highschool and recently have hit a rough patch in our relationship. She was diagnosed with depression and anxiety last summer and then was admitted into a psychiatric hospital in our city. After she got out, she was always depressed and the medication she was taking didn't appear to help, but I always managed to cheer her up. Her depression faded away for a while around October-November up until about a month go when it started affecting her more often. Since then we've had more arguments come up because of it messing with our relationship. \n\nShe went to her psychiatrist last week and she recommended that we take a break, which we didn't end up doing. Then yesterday morning during class she sent me a message saying that she, \"can't take it anymore!\" and some other stuff saying how she wants to take a break because things weren't working out. \n\nRight before lunch she sent me a message saying, \"You know I still love you right? I always will\". I told her to leave me alone because I wanted some time to think about what to do. After school I messaged her asking if she wanted to take a break or break up completely. She couldn't make up her mind so I told her tell me in a couple days. \n\nI texted her again after school today and asked if she had made up her mind. She hadn't. I don't know if I should move on or wait for her. Like as in if she only wants a break, should I wait it out, or move on? Or if she wants to break up, should I move on, or try to win her back (again)? We've been through so much together and I absolutely love this girl with all of my heart to the point where we've discussed getting married many times, but now I don't know what to do. Any advice helps and ask me questions if you need more details.", "summary": "My girlfriend of over a year and I are taking a break. Should I move on? Should I stay? General advice?"} {"id": "t3_4hzmj2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18F] gave my boyfriend [22M] an ultimatum, was I wrong to?", "post": "So Joe and I have been dating for a few months after meeting online. It's been going pretty well so far, considering we live about 2 hours apart and are both busy with school. Because of this, we are in an open relationship. Both of us are free to sleep with other people if we use protection and tell the other person about it. This has been working, no problems so far. \n\nI've returned home for the summer, which means that the distance between us is now even further, 5 hours, so we can't see each other as frequently as we used to. We had a talk about what we were going to do over the summer. Both of us agreed that we'd continue the open relationship we had now, but there was an argument over condom use. \n\nI told him that if he at any point didn't use a condom we would break up and I didn't want to see him anymore, which I thought was fairly reasonable. However he didn't know if he could keep that promise, arguing that if he got super drunk or something he might forget but he'd always get tested before sleeping with me again. \n\nI got really upset that he couldn't even promise me to have safe sex and told him there were three options: promise to use a condom, he always does and everyone is happy; promise to use a condom and break the promise, which means break up and no contact; or don't make the promise, we break up but stay friends. \n\nWas I wrong in making these absolutes? Joe got really upset and indecisive like he always does when it comes to choices, saying how he doesn't want to lose me but doesn't trust himself either. I feel bad making him choose an option he doesn't like, but I also feel like I'm not asking for too much.", "summary": "told BF that he had to use a condom when sleeping with other people or else we would break up, but BF doesn't trust himself. should I have been less harsh?"} {"id": "t3_h41pk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Need some advice on breaking up", "post": "So I think it's time for my GF and I to call it quits. A little back story first.\n\nI'm 26, she's 23. We've been together for about 9 months but we've been friends for about 2 years prior to dating. We've had our problems from the outset of dating, most of which we worked out. I've recently been thinking that she probably isn't \"the one\" and I actually tried to break it off last Friday. Instead of breaking up, we ended up talking about everything for a few hours and I thought I had made a mistake.\n\nI should have gone with my gut and stuck to my guns.\n\nNow I don't know what to do, I realize that no matter what I do, I'll be a bigger asshole in the end and I'm willing to accept this, but I just don't know how to break it to her again? I'm worried that if I do it face to face again, the same thing might happen, but not doing it in person seems very impersonal and cold. \n\nDoes anyone have some suggestions?", "summary": "Tried to breakup with the GF last week, after a long talk we decided to keep trying, this was a mistake and I still want to break up"} {"id": "t3_27dzeq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my (ex)Crush [19 F], rejected me even though the signs were clear?", "post": "I knew her for a few months and she's a great, funny, and kind person. Anyhow, I wanted to move on to the next level, so a mutual friend forced me to go shopping with them (plus I needed to buy something). \n\nAt a certain store, I saw a VERY attractive girl and I wanted to talk to her but couldn't because my crush and my friends were there. So I didn't do much. \n\nFast Forward 1 day\n\nI was talking to my group of friends and I explained to them that I saw a SUPER attractive girl the other day and we were talking about her (and laughing). My crush walks in the room and says that she wants to laugh too, so my friends tell her what happened to me the other day, what I saw, and what I wanted to do. I was watching her reaction and she just said \"oh\". \n\nSo she decided to leave shortly after that and she starts to sniff a LOT. I thought she had a cold or something but took no real notice but now I know her, she was crying. \n\nI used this info, confessed to her the week after that, and she brotherzoned me.\n\nSo what happened?", "summary": "Liked this girl, i decided to pull a experiment, she cries, i confess i like her, she brotherzones me."} {"id": "t3_3ig0wd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22m] ex-girlfriend broke up with me [22m] because she hates my firearms hobby- Dated 2 years", "post": "Please keep politics out of this, I don't care about your views as much you care about mine.\n\nMy ex girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me the day before Thanksgiving 2014. Three months prior to this happening, she moved 90 miles away for a job. I was still in school till graduation in May, but we saw each other on the weekends. We had a pretty good relationship, but she came from a very liberal family and I came from the opposite. \n\nShe didn't dislike that I had guns nor did she not trust me with them. I'm a certified pistol and rifle instructor and she knew that I had the proper credentials and training from the start. Hell, I even brought her with me to the range on multiple occasions. However, when she moved away she started hanging out with a crowd that thought themselves to be pretty elite and apparently called me a hillbilly, redneck, etc. She started picking fights with me over little things and it went to hell fast.\n\nWhen I picked her up to drive her to the airport to fly home, she broke up with me out of the blue. I asked why and she said she hated all my firearms and my activity with them. I was pretty shocked, it was never a problem until then. She said she was embarassed to have a boyfriend who's hobby was so primitive. \n\nWhen she said that, I pretty much erased her from my life. Almost a year later, I am fairly certain that her reason was bullshit. We haven't spoken since that day even when I reached out to her to gain some real closure. Totally shut out. \n\nMy question to you is whether that reason is a valid reason to end a relationship? I think not, but I gotta get a second opinion. I do not want this girl back FYI.", "summary": "My ex girlfriend broke up with me on the grounds that she hated my firearms and that I love to shoot. Dufaq?"} {"id": "t3_1bbbie", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Waiting for my bf [23/m] to get his life together", "post": "I [23/f] have been dating my bf [23/m] for about 3 years, and just recently it has dawned on me how different our current situations and goals in life are. I have had a \"big girl\" job since graduating college, live in my own place, have a car, and I am good with saving money and paying off bills. My boyfriend has also graduated but still lives at home, gets paid minimum wage and does not currently have a car. I thought he was getting all his stuff together and close to getting himself a car but recently his mom has brought to my attention that he can't afford a car yet because he still has to pay off college bills that he's been ignoring and hasn't paid for his chunk of the family cell plan for awhile. I know it takes awhile to save, and he likes his current job, but I'm getting tired of always paying for us to do stuff. He doesn't mooch, but a girl can only take so many couch dates. I think if all his stuff was together and he was more self sufficient I'd want to take things further with him and move in together, and we've talked about some day living together. I don't know how to talk to him about all of this. I don't need him to be crazy successful and take care of me, but I do want us to at least be equals. Any advice would be appreciated.", "summary": "I am at a different place in life than my boyfriend who still lives at home. I don't know how to talk to him about getting his life together so it's easier for us to be together."} {"id": "t3_4c6oan", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [40 M] with a girl i've never met yet [37]. i'm an ex-addict and work in a web-radio talking about addiction and harm reduction. Should i talk about it?", "post": "She knows i work in a web-radio, and i've told her i wouldn't tell her the url because the character i am in this radio is in no way attractive to girls(i manage the funniest part of the radio, but i am very harsh and have no censorship, but that is not who i am).\nSo i know she will ask me more about this radio, and it's a radio by addicts(or ex-addicts) for addicts and people interested in the subject. On a first date, i don't want to talk about my past addiction(heroin), but how can i not disclose this if i tell her what this radio is about. Should i tell her to wait more before i tell her more about it, or should i say that i ended up in this radio because of my past mistakes? Or else?\n\nThanks for any piece of advice, i've never met her, but we have so much in common that i doubt i will meet someone as interesting as her in the near future, and i REALLY don't want to mess things up. Thanks fellow Redditors :)", "summary": "should i talk about my past addiction on a first date, knowing that i will have questions about it due to the radio i work at if i tell her the name of the radio?"} {"id": "t3_4sl3i8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (18F) need some advice about therapy...", "post": "Sorry, I'm not a native English speaker.\n\nI've been thinking about getting therapy for at least 3 or 4 years, but I've never gone through with it because I was/am pretty sure my parents would make fun of me for even suggesting it (therapy isn't exactly something common here). Since I had no money to pay for it myself, I had to give up on it. \n\nThe thing is... There's nothing wrong in my life. My parents are nice, I've never been abused by anyone, I had a few friends growing up just like everyone else... But I feel like it's been a long time since I've actually been happy with myself, if that makes sense. I've lost interest on the only things that I ever liked to do (drawing and playing games), I've never liked to go out and so, until I was forced to get a job a few weeks ago, all I did was attend classes and sleep all day long.\n\nAs I said, there's nothing physically wrong with me. Many people have it a lot worse, and they don't need therapy to go through with their lives. Am I exaggerating? Would therapy even help? Or is it normal to feel like crap once you start growing up? I have never ever talked to a psychologist/therapist before and I have no idea if it would be worth the money...\n\nAlso, no one but my best friend knows I scheduled a meeting (?) with a therapist on Friday. I'm not planning on telling any family members (as I said before, I don't want them to make fun of me...) but my friend said I should at least tell my parents. Do I really need to tell anyone? Or can I keep it a secret? The first meeting (is that how it's called? I have no idea) is for free... So I'm gonna go see what it's like... But what if it doesn't help anything?\n\nAfter writing all of it, it really sounds like a dumb problem... But I seriously need some advice. I can't really ask anyone else about this.", "summary": "I want to get therapy, but I'm not sure it's gonna help with anything. Should I do it? Also, should I tell my parents about it or can I keep it a secret?"} {"id": "t3_2rrex2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [38 M]. Are these thoughts mature or stupid?", "post": "I've been dating a woman 10 years my junior. She's sweet and fun and she likes me. But I'm not *crazy* about her, in that I don't daydream about her, want to tear off her clothes, etc. Let's call her \"Daisy\". \n\nYesterday I met someone who instantly grabbed my attention. I'm drawn to her, curious about her, and feel unsafe, unsure, and unsettled. We texted briefly, I'm awaiting a response, and I've spent the past 12 hours anxious that I've already been too eager. Let's call her \"Violet\".\n\nI felt the same way about an on-again, off-again, ex-girlfriend. She was SO hot, so interesting, but was never completely available. She would periodically disappear and hurt me in the process. Let's call her \"Lisa\".\n\n(N.B. the two even look the same; if I have a physical *type*, they're it.)\n\nTo the question...\n\nI'm getting older and want to get married someday. I presume that infatuations with women like Violet and Lisa - ones who immediately grab my attention but with whom I feel no sense of safety - could only stand in my way of a long-term, mutually supportive, adult relationship.\n\nSo married Redditors, or Redditors with LTR's, please share your wisdom:\n\nWhether or not Daisy is the right choice, should I give the benefit of the doubt to the women who seem less \"exciting\" but who also seem more available? Have any of you regretted making a similar choice: discounting the ones who excite you the most, while building relationships with the more available people who don't? Did you ever feel - and regret - as if you might have \"settled\"?", "summary": "Pursue the hottest chicks I can *maybe* date or put my energy into ones I *like* but who don't set my socks on fire?"} {"id": "t3_2lzvoe", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Early Mid-life crisis?", "post": "So I'm a 37 year old man. Married, children, good steady job, living in a great little town with good schools. And I'm depressed. Not the clinical depression (though I have dealt with that in the past) but more of \"is this it?\" kind of depression. In a sense, I'm depressed that I only have this one life to live when there is so much to experience in this world. \n\nA large part of this feeling (though not all) is sexual in nature. My wife, who has some medical issues, has very little interest in sex. We make love maybe 2-3 a year. She's not really into trying new things or adventurous in the sack. She used to be when we first started dating, but that's like another lifetime ago now. My libido seems to be sky-high all the time. To make matters worse, my wife was my first. I've not had sex with another woman. So I'm extremely curious about what sex with another woman would be like - especially a woman who's into it. What would she kiss like? What would it feel like to make love? What would she smell like? Etc... \n\nI'm not looking for an excuse to cheat. I mean - if a woman threw herself at me, I'd find it hard to turn her down, but that's not going to happen. But I'm not going to actively search for a woman to have an affair. And I'm not going to get a divorce over this. That seems like a silly reason to break up a family, and probably would be selfish on my part. I really want to be there for my kids - that is the main goal in my life. My own parents did a pretty crappy job, both me and my sibling are still trying to deal with that emotionally and I want to be the best dad I can be. \n\nNon-sexually: I have dozens of interests and no time or money to pursue them. I couldn't afford the college and settled on a two-year degree and now I'm kinda stuck job-wise. If I won the lottery, I'd be going to college full-time probably. But that's not going to happen either.", "summary": "Family man making a living but feel stuck. I want to experience more women, more careers, more *life* but I'm getting older and fear this may be it. "} {"id": "t3_lzup3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How do you cope with a parents diagnosis of cancer?", "post": "I don't know why I am using reddit for this, I guess its just cause I have no one else to talk to.\n\nSo about 2 hours ago I got a phone call from my mother saying my father has been diagnosed with rectal cancer and the doctors do not know how far it is along. I'm 18 and I attend college 10 hours from home so I haven't seen my father in nearly 2 months at this point, we aren't particularly close to each other but we got along better than most people do with their parents. Anyway what is impacting me most is that I am the only person who has not been there with him and I probably wont be able to see him until Christmas break, if my employer gives me a week off that is. \n\nI guess that's the thing, I feel so guilty about not being there to help him, and the rest of my family. I also feel guilty because one of the first things I thought of was about how this will impact my own life which is stressful enough since I am pursing an engineering degree will working nearly full time to cover the costs of my loans. I just.. I just don't know. I'm angry, sad, and afraid but I have no one to talk to about this. \n\nSorry for the incoherent rambling.", "summary": "I'm a student who lives 10 hours from home who just found out his father has cancer and I am seeking advice on how to cope with it."} {"id": "t3_1110f6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Can't figure out how to deal with girlfriend's parents. [Both 22, (us not the parents)]", "post": "Me and my girlfriend have been dating since January, and she's currently doing a study abroad overseas. That in itself has been hard, but there's more too it. She'll be there for Christmas, so I'd come up with the idea that I'd save up some money and fly out to be with her. The problem is, her parents don't want me too. They've always been worried about us messing around (despite us being in our 20s). She's She's the youngest of 3 and they treat her like she's much younger. The family is Catholic and Latino, so some cultural aspect plays into it.\n\nThere are several issues going on here that I don't know how to deal with.\n\nFirst off, we are sleeping together, so her parent's fears are completely true, though they don't know this. We use protection, but I think they're scared she'd get pregnant.\n\nSecond, they've paid for this trip, and it's not cheap, so I feel I need to respect the fact that they kind of have control in this situation.\n\nThird, I do respect them, even if it can be hard to accept the way they're reacting. Her mother is a very, very nice lady, but can be quite controlling and treats my girlfriend like she's very young. Her father is a very kind and hard working man, and while he isn't quite as controlling as her mother, he often leaves decisions up to her and sides with her concerns.\n\nSo, /r/relationships I'm not sure what to do here. Part of me wants to just completely ignore her parents wishes and fly out. Maybe tell them I'm going to, or just try to not tell them. However, I don't like trying to bring deceit into the relationship. My girlfriend and I have had to lie to them in the past about things, and it never feels good. Another part of me wants to just go the full truth route. Tell them we're sleeping together and that we plan to continue doing so. Tell them we're using protection. I'm just not sure how they'd react to it. I'm fairly sure they'd be incredibly upset. \n\nAny advice would be so helpful. Thank you.", "summary": "Girlfriends parents don't want me to visit her on her study abroad, because they think we're going to have sex, which we will."} {"id": "t3_19j4qb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Update] I am m32 in the UK trying to save my marriage.", "post": "[Original post] ( So here's the update. After one short counseling session, therapist was late, and multiple conversations There may be hope for my marriage.\n\nThe big thing is She says she still loves me as a friend, but not as a husband right now. This is due to unkept promises about relocating to the UK. Of which I reminded her the only thing that kept me from resigning from my job in the US was her request. I realize most of you advise me against doing this. \n\nShe likes to refer to a lot of things as I'm not to let you, meaning me, \"Destroy this\". To which I've had to also come back and say that this was a 2 Way St., I'm not feeling one who screwed up so I need help fixing it from you. \n\nToday she told me that she bought a house, got the down payment from my in-laws, as long as I was kept off the title of the house. Which I said that's completely bullshit. If anything they should be encouraging us to stay united not encouraging us to be divided. Which got me back to the point of I had a good thing going there before I was called away to do my United States work to which she didn't want me to resign from. That she was criminalizing me (for lack of a better term) For doing what she asked me to do. \n\nWhen I got here I found out that she spoke to divorce lawyer, and I managed to through open communication back her from that ledge. And she is giving me three months to get my \"shit together\". I.e. find a job and settle in the UK, which I'm very much actively pursuing.\n\n But my real question is from a group of strangers who know nothing more than the ramblings of this hopeless person what are the chances that I'm able to save my marriage?", "summary": "Right now cohabitating with my wife managed to convince her not to divorce me just yet is giving me three months to get my \"shit together\" Hoping for some Reddit insight"} {"id": "t3_3p0cyx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by being excited to see my ex girlfriend after 1.5 years.", "post": "So my ex called me out of the blue about a month ago saying she would be in town for a night this month. We broke up a two years ago but the feelings for her were very reluctant in going away. In preparation of her arrival I cleaned every inch of my house, bought a gift, planned dinner, and a myriad of other things. Here we are two days before her arrival and I text her to confirm when she's getting in. \"Oh it got canceled\", she said. Fuck, what am I doing? Now I am realizing how big of a tool I am for doing what I did and now realize I need to move the fuck on. I have even been putting off dates with other women just in case something happened with the ex. Why am I such a dumbass?", "summary": "I got over excited to see my ex and now realize how dumb it was to not just move the fuck on in the first place. Here is me whining about it."} {"id": "t3_ek2hq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So, what did you do when you were a young whippersnapper or hooligan?", "post": "I was walking with my friends and snapped a windshield wiper on someone's car. *Oooooh*, I know big time trouble. The person saw me do it. We ran back to my house. About half an hour later, my other friend's Mom (who had been at the library) came over & said \"The cops are looking for you.) No kidding, the cops were looking for me (I am now a wanted criminal). Anyways, the car owner decided to take my parents to small claims court. We won because my Father said the wiper was already broken (it was some fancy wiper that was supposed to retract or something, and if it were functioning properly, it would not have been out in the open tempting me to snap it in the first place). \n\nI'm sure reddit has some far more interesting stories, so let's share!", "summary": "I failed at being both a whippersnapper & a hooligan. I snapped a windshield wiper & got away with it because my Dad found a loophole."} {"id": "t3_2h02ri", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] with my Life [N/a] started working a while back and had to abandon a lot of friends..", "post": "So About a year Ago I started working at a good job.. \"Good\" meaning I work for a school doing the thing I love. and I LOVE this job It is perfect. The issue is: Me being right out of High School I had to lose contact with a lot of my friends..mostly because they where still in school and or druggies and I could not risk that. \n\nSo problem number one is I have very few friends How can I fix this, my issue is I am young enough that I can't Go to Bars, Old enough to where I can't hang with kids still in HS and I don't Go to college(ish online classes are the only classes I can take Due to work).\n\nMy second Problem is based of the first one.. I don't have a GF and I have not had one in years.. Im one of the nicest people you could meet all the girls I know Put me in the \"like a brother\" category and im Ok with that I love helping them out i've just had one spend the night cause her BF dumped her and she needed someone to talk to ended up falling asleep on me.. im just lost on what to do.\n\nPlease Reddit help me find a path Thank you.", "summary": "Problem #1 I have no friends because I am in a awkward age/Situation. problem #2 based off of #1 but I don't have a GF and the girls that I do know say I am like a brother."} {"id": "t3_1bi33w", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Can My Boss Do This?", "post": "Background:\n I work for a corporate coffee shop in California as a supervisor. (i.e. Starbucks, Pete's, and Coffee Bean) My boss is not the best at scheduling people. He tends to schedule people on days they have submitting to him in writing that they can't work. Forced people to come in and work even though they have a 102 fever, and a few other things I can't come up with.\n\nProblem:\n I have planed a trip where I am leaving Wednesday to go out of the state. I have requested off time for the trip a month ago, at the time my boss told me there would be no problem. Last Wednesday my boss distributed the schedule for this week and had me not scheduled for my tip, But just today (Monday around 5 pm) he told me that I need to find someone to cover one of the shifts that I would normally work. I am worried he is going to tell me if I don't find someone to cover it then I would have to work it. I was wondering if there is a law that prevents this, because I spent a lot of money on the trip that I would lose if I don't go.", "summary": "I asked for time off at work for a trip. My boss told me I could have it. Now he might make me work anyway."} {"id": "t3_27lg34", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Just broke up with my [20F] boyfriend [21M] of three and a half years, I'm lonely and heartbroken. Help?", "post": "We were together for three and a half years. Our personalities are both very head-strong and it was the first very serious relationship that each of us had so we lacked communication and argued to the point where it was unhealthy. \n\nDespite all of that, we were each other's best friends. We had so much in common and traveled and made so much memories together. We grew up together and were by each other's sides through the trials and tribulations. We didn't have friends in common because we hung out with different groups of people therefore we spent a ton of time together. I would even say we were codependent on each other. We both drifted apart from our friends until the point where it would just be us two. Maybe we lasted longer than we did because we were both scared of being lonely.\n\nWe both agreed that while our love was something very special, it was also extremely unhealthy. I have no ill will towards him and his love was something that was inspiring yet humbling. Wherever life takes me in the future, I will forever blessed to have experienced a love like this. Our relationship just got to the point where it became just a very toxic environment to be apart of.\n\nNow that we're no longer together, it is very lonely. I have so much free time now and so much emptiness that I don't know how to fulfill it with. There are times where I'll hear a song or run across something that we used to do together and I'll feel a pit in my stomach. It's been a month and it hasn't gotten easier. \n\nI don't have many friends. However, I'm moving out of state in six months (another big reason why we broke up) so that is something to look forward to. I'm not in college but will be attending a trade school of sorts. It's just the time between now and then that is so crippling for me to think of. What can I do to get rid of this pain?", "summary": "had my first serious relationship, it became toxic so we ended it on good terms but now i'm dealing with missing him and lack of friends so a lot of loneliness. how do i deal?"} {"id": "t3_1efrvh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "How would I connect Rumble Fish and Brave New World together through a common theme?", "post": "I need to write a paper for English and I'm not sure what exactly to write about. I could write about Identity and the dangers that come from when you don't find yours. (John's death, and Rusty-James lack of belonging somewhere) or Perspective/Perception about seeing or in Rusty-James' case not seeing what is right in front of you. I could write about not becoming what you fear, but I don't see where I could get a lot of evidence form that to support the idea. I could also write about not allowing other people to control your perspective as they do in Brave New World, but I don't know how I would connect that with Rumble Fish.", "summary": "I have a few ideas but I don't know how to properly go about using them, and if any of you have any ideas it would be nice to hear about them. "} {"id": "t3_2khd8a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] \"right girl, wrong time\" [20F] Should I just ask and get it over with?", "post": "We matched on tinder and wow the conversations we had and how much we had in common and how much we talked I couldn't believe it... Except I was taking over 15 credits in summer session with deadlines, tests, homework, etc every single day it broke me and I began having anxiety attacks and all that garbage...\n\nSo we never metup because of me and I know it meant a lot to both of us (her social media posts n stuff)\n\nNow its 2 months later and I am thinking about her a lot. The only form of communication is through worthless snapchats (weirdly enough last month they used to be very personal snaps). Its actually funny the one or two times I've texted her since how robotic her responses are.\n\nAnyways I'm pretty sure we'll both be semi near each other in a month and I was contemplating just asking if shes still interested and fucking get all this over with.\n\nWhat's everyones thoughts on this? I really want to move on one way or another, and maybe it doenst make sense to mention it now when we still have a full month? But thats again a full month of \"not knowing\"", "summary": "Met a girl at the worst possible time in my life (honestly was) and need to know if its possible again."} {"id": "t3_3tvxlr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24/F] with my ex [24/M] of 4 years, re-establishing contact after 4 months?", "post": "My first (and most recent) relationship of 4 years ended 4 months ago with no contact. He wanted to remain involved in each other's lives and I told him no, at least not for a while. He sent me a text two weeks after we broke up, and I just restated that we would not be in contact. \n\nIt was a mutual break up but we sort of ended on bad terms, with a lot of resentment on my part for a lot of his behaviours during the relationship. \n\nNow that I've had some time and space, I'm interested in re-opening lines of communication as I've been able to move past the hurt feelings that I was holding onto. He was such an important part of my life for so long that it feels weird becoming complete strangers. I'd like to reach out not to get back together, or even to try to be friends, but to bring us back to friendly terms where at least we could check in on each other every now again. \n\nI have no interest in restarting a relationship, as I feel like it had already gone on way past it's expiration date. However, I do know that if I saw him dating somebody new it would still hurt at this point so I'm not sure if starting to talk again would only cause more pain. \n\nWould it be a mistake to start talking to him again? Have you ever gotten back in contact with an ex, and if you have, how did it go?", "summary": "Have you ever reached out to an ex after going no contact? If so, how did it go? Not looking to get back together, but just to be on better terms."} {"id": "t3_y08cv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[19/f, 21/m] the more weight my boyfriend loses, the less I'm attracted to him", "post": "So I read the guy's story about wanting her GF to lose weight. I have a similar story, yet opposite, see if I can get any help. My boyfriend [20/m] has been losing a bit a weight the past 8 months or so. We've been dating for about a year and a half now. I [19/f] feel that it's good for him, but for some reason, I don't like how he's doing it, and him looking more attractve is affecting our relationship. \n\nHe's lost I'd say about 25 lbs since November. He's showing more muscle and better posture. It's pretty awesome. However, he's been mostly using weights and only some cardio. I told him it's bad for your heart and weights will make him fat down the line. I'm trying to get him to do cardio so he can lose weight the right way. Also trying to get him into yoga. His diet also worries me. He says he's cut most sugars and breads out of his diet. The sugar I can see, but he needs grains for a healthy diet. He mostly eats meats, veggies, some dairy and fruit. I dunno how he's losing weight by lifting weights and eating meat. I don't want him to get too muscly. I like a chub on my guy. \n\nAlso, whenever we're out in public together, I've noticed girls have been noticing him more, looking at him. He doesn't know this, though, and I'm trying to tell him it's bad for us. The people he talks to are a little more flirty with him. I'm trying to figure out a way to politely tell him to stop flirting with others. He calims that this isn't going on, but I think he's playing humble and stupid. Kinda worries me he might cheat on me.\n\nSo how do I approach fixing all this?", "summary": "Boyfriend losing weight, trying to get him to do real exercises, fix his diet, weight loss affecting our relationship, too many people checking him out."} {"id": "t3_32vb2g", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By Emailing a Coworker", "post": "I work in a rather large establishment, and these establishments are located nationwide. There are a lot of people in the building where I work, so if I see them once outside of my routine, there's little chance I will see them again. I became quite smitten by someone I saw the other day, and managed (through no small effort) to find out her name.\n\nI'm also getting an advanced degree in my field, which is also the field I currently work in. Not too long ago, I had an assignment where I needed to interview a specialist and used someone from the building who ended up being a terrible pick (the boss of my boss's boss). Sometime shortly after, I found out the girl I had a thing for would have been great, even though the assignment had already been turned in.\n\nSo I devised a cunning and elaborate ruse to schedule a faux interview with her and then smoothly ask her to lunch at the end. If it went exactly as it had gone in my head, it would be smooth sailing. That was a big \"if\". The email did not go as planned. She emailed back to tell me that she didn't think she was a going to be able to help me out nearly as much as her coworkers, who she forwarded the email to. Then they sent it to some other coworkers in my sister department who all ended up being equally perplexed at the lack of a specialist in this field, and eventually the email made it the head of the department, who made a statewide Listserv announcement to those in my field who might be eager to help me\u2014on an assignment I had already done and was just using to get a poorly thought out date!", "summary": "Emailed my coworker so I could secretly set up a date, and her whole department got involved to find someone more suitable instead"} {"id": "t3_jevuq", "subreddit": "Cooking", "title": "Can anyone identify this Thai recipe for coconut milk Yellow Curry (?) It doesn't need to be exact, just of similar nature. I have no clue about Thai food.. :(", "post": "I'm trying to expand my palette of tastes and have generally been relatively uncouth when it comes to cooking. For a background, I am not a huge fan of cooked vegetables, refuse to eat non-puree'd green & red peppers, and can't eat large pieces of non-red meat (it makes me gag for some odd reason.. - I have a textural thing where certain food/tastes just repulse me). However, if all of those are puree'd I am perfectly fine eating them. I wish I could enjoy a larger menu of foods, but unfortunately have next to no cooking ability and am relatively happy with the few foods I eat. \n\nHowever, on a recent family vacation we stopped at, [what I considered to be] an excellent Thai restaurant in Oceanside, CA. I ordered a 'safe food' I was familiar with, but tried a few dishes other people in our party ordered and discovered I fucking love the tits out of \"yellow curry.\" It was rich, smooth, and didn't have any of the tastes/slimy textures I dislike.\n\nI really only would want the soupy part (to put over rice and maybe finish off as a soup) - I don't think I'd prepare the ~~steamed~~ cooked vegetables (unless the recipe required it in the cooking of the soupy stuff) or eat any of the chicken if the recipe calls for it [would it be possible to just not prepare the chicken all together? A lot seem to make the curry first THEN add the chicken - so it doesn't seem too important for the flavour of the curry itself]. Thus I would like to focus on making an excellent tasting sauce, opposed to the greens/meat that go with it! It can be relatively spicy, but I don't need/want the SPICIEST CURRY EVERRRR. Store bought [yellow] curry paste will be used [any recommended brands - if i have a choice?] \n\nIt looked something like this: \n\nIf anyone can recommend a similar recipe, I'd TOTALLY appreciate it.", "summary": "I am picky as fuck and would really appreciate it if someone could recommend a similar curry recipe as in the picture. Other recommendations (similar tastes) would be appreciated too :)"} {"id": "t3_3rq1ft", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [16M] Mom [42F] and Older Sister [21F] Are Always Yelling at My Little Sister [1F] and It Makes Me Upset", "post": "So my mum had a baby late in her life after an unexpected pregnancy. It started out fine, with her yelling at me less and being seemingly less angry. \n\nThis changed quickly however. After a couple months she would yell at her for everything. Obviously when she was younger it just crying, but now it's crying, not sleeping, playing to loudly, whatever you can think of. \n\nShe also spanks her really hard. Usually if she doesn't listen, but she's 1 so she rarely listens. \n\nMy older sister also moved in a few months after my little sister was born, after she got pregnant. She also yells at my little sister and I, even worse than my mom. She even yells at her 6 month old daughter for crying.\n\nNow I can understand getting upset every once in a while, I do it too. But I rarely ever spank her, unless she does something multiple times after being told not to. I can get mad and raise my voice a bit when I'm tired and she won't sleep. But I never scream at her. \n\nI'm just scared that this will hurt her later in life. Is it normal for a parent to yell at and spank a 1 year old? Is there anything I can do to lessen", "summary": "My mom and older sister yell at and spank my 1 year old sister and I don't know how to handle it."} {"id": "t3_4et035", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30 M] with: myself, duration: eternity? Am I normal to be this independently happy?", "post": "Hi Reddit, currently on the pot as I contemplate my future...\n\nI'm a 30 year old dude who's never brought a lady to meet my parents or do anything else as serious in nature relationship-wise. \n\nThe thing is....I'm not a nerd...or that ugly. I have sex constantly and I've currently bagged a little over 80 chicks. I honestly really enjoy my life. It's fantastic. I have great friends, a great relationship with my family. \n\nOnce in a blue moon though, I get these thoughts that make me think I should try to \"be like everyone else\" though. You know, settle...start paying for someone else's shit...have a kid, get fat, etc. \n\nAt my age, most of my friends are in relationships obviously, and I don't envy any of them. All of their chicks do shit that would drive me up the wall. Most of the things revolve around being a financial burden or having a general lack of passion for anything. \n\nI'm an airline pilot. I travel for free. I play guitar, drums, bass, ukulele, sing in a band. I love to try new recipes. Love to surf. I'm constantly trying to be better at something....and I think this is the problem. \n\nThey say guys have hobbies, women have boyfriends. I just can't stand the lack of passion/interests/hobbies that I see in most women. Such a turn off to me. And unfortunately, there seems to be some kind of inverse ratio between hotness and zest for life. (I understand the reasons why) But still, I don't think this is a matter of just not having found \"the one\". Anyone else relate?\n\nSo, anyway, I just wanted to get these ideas off my chest anonymously and see how weird I am according to a bunch of strangers on the Internet. Mahalo!\n\nNothing like some Mexican food to set a man straight.....", "summary": "I enjoy my life but every now and then I get the feeling that I am supposed to follow suit and get married and have a kid and die."} {"id": "t3_126m48", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Dry-hands is affecting my work performance. What's a serious pair of gloves for the job?", "post": "Here's the deal:\n\nI've had dry hands all my life. Really bad when I was little. My hands get better and worse with no particular pattern. \n\nAt their best, It's like there's nothing wrong with them.\n\nAt their worst, I can barely close my hands, get them wet without pain, or do anything that requires dexterity, or heavy-lifting.\n\nI have been to doctors for this, with no conclusions other than moisturize, and be nice to them.\n\nMy regiment at the moment is to apply [this stuff] liberally, and wear nitrile gloves for a few hours; During the day, and at night. Nitrile gloves tend to tear-apart after a few hours. I might as well be wearing oven-mitts when I wear light-weight cotton gloves. I can't grip anything.\n\nIt's problematic enough with every-day tasks, but now that I'm working, it's affecting my work. I'm work in a warehouse, so I have problems doing heavy lifting, or working with chemicals. \n\nLong story short, I need the ultimate pair of gloves. Here's my ideal requirements.\n\n1. Slim-fitting and dexterous enough to work with small hardware.\n2. Liquid-proof, or resistant.\n3. Not that cheap nylon crap that gets all fuzzy.\n4. I can wear nitrile gloves under them with moisturizer if necessary. \n5. Touch-screen compatible. (At least with one removable finger-tip.)\n6. Extra-protection on finger tips, without too much bulk.\n7. Extreme friction coating. If I can lift something with pure palm-to-object friction, and not by articulating my fingers, that's a plus.\n\nIf these requirements can be met with two separate pairs of gloves, that's fine by me.", "summary": "Need a bad-ass pair of gloves that can protect my weak-sauce dry hands at home, and at work."} {"id": "t3_1xnkhw", "subreddit": "college", "title": "I'm a junior in high school looking for some input on scheduling for something that stands out to colleges.", "post": "**for those leaving downvotes, please at least leave an opinion; it is a serious question that I think is worth discussing**\n\nSo background, I'm a junior in high school, scheduling for next year. I've played violin for nine something years and for three years I've been in the better orchestra at our school as well as the chamber orchestra which is best strings group at my school. I have recently lost passion and interest in playing the violin, usually I am very bored in the class ^and ^I ^often ^find ^that ^I ^am ^almost ^able ^to ^fall ^asleep ^in ^class.\n\nIn terms of academics, I'm in the top 5% of students at my school with some 4.25 GPA. I am currently taking five AP classes. Orchestra currently takes a lot of my time, from after school rehearsals to performances to the newly implemented \"music service hours\", in which I have to volunteer solely for something related to the music program. This is rather inconvenient as I already have other service hours I have to fulfill to graduate.\n\nThe main point is, I was wondering whether or not it was better to drop orchestra to take another AP class next year (which would total eight AP classes, two of which are semester long classes) or if it was better to stick with orchestra to demonstrate \"commitment\", which I hear a lot of colleges look for nowadays. While none of you know exactly the academic rigor of my school's AP program, I was wondering in the general context which would be better for me. I want to apply to Stanford, Berkeley, Columbia and similar colleges.\n\nIf I have not provided enough info (as in other extra-curriculars I'm currently participating in), please let me know...\n\nI just don't feel special enough to apply to any school. Am I just another boring academic robot that applies to only top schools? Is there something I can do to make me stand out or be special?", "summary": "is it better to drop orchestra and take more AP classes or is it better to show commitment with the orchestra (which I don't enjoy) by sticking with it for all four years of my high school career?"} {"id": "t3_3b593r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do you communicate over disagreements", "post": "For background, \nI'm 20M and my SO is 23F we've been dating 2 years. \n\nTo be honest I'm very frustrated. I'm an open minded person though as I like to think. I'm currently in this seemingly ridiculous relationship with someone who we've had past issues but had decided to resolve them. She started making effort and I'd now reverting to the way she was in a lot of things. \n\nMy main question has to do with discussing what's bothering you or arguments etc. She likes to say \"Your telling me what I feel is wrong.\" But I only specifically say that to things like \"you don't love me\".\n\nSo today, I tried conversing with her about what's going on. She specifically stated, you have to only help come up with solutions, not respond to what I say. When she says everything I need to fix, I can tell her what she needs to fix. \n\nExample:\nHer: I don't feel like you love me. \nMe: that's not true, etc. (I can't say this)\nI'm basically supposed to apologize and ask how to fix this. \n\nI firmly believe that communicating issues should be discussing both of our feelings on a subject and then working together to resolve the issue. \n\nAm I crazy?", "summary": "I believe one of us at the very least is bat shit crazy. Discussing feelings on a topic and a solution. Or one person's feelings and then finding a solution. "} {"id": "t3_2ix2ae", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [18 M] going out with my coworker [25 F] in roughly a week. I've never gone out with someone that has 7 years experience on me, any tips?", "post": "I wasn't sure where to go with this question as nobody I know has been in a similar situation so I figured to head over here for some tips.\n\nWithout giving too many details, her and I have been working together for a few months now and over time I've come to find out we have very similar interests and she is the only girl I've ever been able to have in-depth conversations. She's a bit busier than I and isn't a much of a texter so essentially all of our conversations have been face to face. After a bit of talking we decided to head to a thrill park (large and \"scary\" with multiple haunted houses) about an hour away.\n\nI'm honestly not worried about conversation topics or any awkwardness; it's just that I'm sure she has different expectations than what most girls my age do. I want an honest relationship with her but am not sure if I should \"take the lead\" during the date or if I should just relax a little and allow her to show me what she's looking for. Overall I'm confident that it'll go in a positive direction but it can't hurt to ask for some tips right? Thanks in advance y'all.", "summary": "There's a large age difference between me and a girl I'm crushing on and am looking for pointers on dating someone much older than you. Any and all advice is appreciated."} {"id": "t3_2rkbgs", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Sister in love with 62-year old trainwreck who owes IRS, house being sold in foreclosure, recent student loan debt", "post": "I've spent a lot of time lurking, but I need your perspective in this unique situation.\n\nMy sister is in her late 50's. She is a self-employed professional, but not very good with her money. Sister taps equity in her home (which would have been paid off years ago) to travel internationally. She runs up credit card debt. She's never come to me for money, but I fear she hasn't made much provision for retirement outside Social Security.\n\nNow to the perspective: Sister has a long back track record with men.\n\nHere's the current situation: Sister met \"Jake\" a year ago. Jake was 61 (now 62) and living on student loans. Last month he graduated with a BA in English from the state university. Cost of attendance at the university is $24K/year.\n\nSister takes Jake to Paris after he graduates to celebrate. While they are gone the Writ of Execution for foreclosure is published in the local paper---Jake house is being sold at the end of the month. He hasn't paid on the mortgage in almost five years. WTF? Now I fear Jake will move in with sister to \"write his novel.\" I think he's a shyster playing at being a jazz musician who hasn't worked in years and has been living on bad debt.\n\nMy sister and I are close, or used to be, but she loses her brains when smitten by romance. (...or cock-smitten...)\n\nPF: What are the possible outcomes here? What liability might Sister have if Jake moves in with her? I can't make this stuff up and I can hardly stand to look at the guy. It's nearly impossible to refrain from judgments of character based on his fiscal freewheeling. Do I just keep my mouth shut?", "summary": "Sister in love with freeloading in-debt 62-year old being kicked out of his house due to foreclosure, recent racked up student loan debt, and back taxes due to IRS. UGH - just avoid them?"} {"id": "t3_2hverp", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Ex GF (22f) texting me (24m) after no contact", "post": "Had a pretty crappy breakup, she dumped me. Handled it badly, went semi- no contact except for maybe a very minor message or something every 6 weeks or so. Hadn't spoken for like 2 months before her birthday two days ago, where I had planned to call just for like 30 seconds. She didn't answer, gave a one word reply to my \"hey just wanted to call and say happy birthday\" etc message. Messaged me each day since, haven't replied to any. I don't want to reply, the only conversation I want to have with her is the reconciliation one but I don't think that's going to happen nor do I think it's what she's doing now. She's doing the how've you been etc.\n\nI'm doubting myself a bit here, I want to just ignore it like I have been, right move?\n\nThanks guys.", "summary": "second-guessing myself about texting an ex back that I still have feelings for but don't want to talk to."} {"id": "t3_4t7my4", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Paying for an apartment while in college", "post": "I'm currently 21 years old, live with my parents and little brother in a small apartment. Never had my own room and living with them has become stressful in the recent years. I go to a university but will be attending an off campus site for the next two years thats 30 minutes away from it. I don't have my own car, I use the car my dad pays for so I dont consider it mine and if I left I definitely would not take it with me.\n\nThere is a bus that goes directly from the main campus to the off campus site so I was considering finding a cheap apartment near the main campus. I have about $1000 that is usable for this. I know its not a lot, barely affords rent for a month, but I'm really considering this. People go to college and somehow are able to afford going to school and live on their own, how can I do this without any help from my family?\n\nI do work part time but I might have to give up that job if I move since its about a 30 minute ride there from campus. This job gives me different hours each week so its hard to really depend on a stable income and with going to school full time in the fall, I'm not sure if getting a second or new job is a good idea. Any advice would be great, thanks.", "summary": "Want to move out, have a part time job with unstable hours, go to school full time in the Fall and Spring, no car, and not sure how to do it, any advice would be appreciated."} {"id": "t3_2y3zm4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Non-romantic] I [M/15] feel like im annoying a friend [F/16]", "post": "Today is her birthday, and I decided that I would be extra nice and wait until midnight to say happy birthday, and message her something cute. Shes my ex, and I have no problem with that and I still fully respect her for the person she is, and as a person I care about. \n\nFast forward to about 8ish in the afternoon and she seems super upset that I make the decision for taking a nap since I was tired from only having around 6ish hours of, sleep which Im not use to, and shes giving me these one word, abbreviated, lowercase responses that make me feel like something is wrong. \n\nShe went out for dinner for two hours I assume, which is pretty long even for a birthday dinner so I figure something happened and I tried getting her to talk about it, I told her that Im always going to be there for her if she needs to talk, and I asked her a couple of times if she was okay. She replied she was okay and then she started taking about 30 minutes to give me one word responses back which really makes it feel like she doesn't want to talk to me. \n\nI dont know what I should do, Im scared to bring it up and even asking about being annoying is annoying so I feel like Im pushed into a corner here. I admire her a ton, and she is super dear to me. I see her ad my closest friend, but I dont think she feels the same way about me.", "summary": "Friend's birthday, seems upset I took a nap from being tired cause I stayed up until midnight to say happy birthday, one word responses every 30 minutes, I feel like Im annoying her."} {"id": "t3_2qf6n7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25 M] with my Friends [23F] 2 months rebound(being me), stopped talking 4 months ago. She recently broke up with her boyfriend. Should I message her?", "post": "Met this girl in June, had a 2 month relationship without being her boyfriend. I really like her. \nWe stopped talking because our last date I got drunk, ignored her during the whole night and acted like a drunken fool. \nI guess she saw me as as a different person that night. \nShe had recently broken up with her 2 year boyfriend and was meeting new people. We had a connection and I guess she started to see me as a possible new boyfriend.\nI messed it all up the night I got drunk. \nTwo weeks after we stopped talking she got back with her boyfriend so thats when I realized I was just a rebound.\nShe broke up with her bf again recently and I\u00b4ve been tempted to send her a message about how we could try things again. \nShould I? \nI still have not gotten over her. She is perfect.\nWhat should I message her about? How can I approach her again?\nThanks for the help.", "summary": "Met a girl which I really like;was used as a rebound;she is single again;Should I message her?"} {"id": "t3_4bf9m9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [21/F] tell my acquaintance [21/F] I don't want to live with her over summer because she is literally perfect and it would crush my self-esteem?", "post": "Pretty sure this makes me pathetic, but here goes. Me and my acquaintance / soon-to-be-friend will both be interning at a company this summer, and we are going to do corporate housing. She asked if I wanted to live in the same suite as her over summer (we wouldn't share a room, just a suite). \n\nI would love to because she's totally awesome EXCEPT my self-esteem would be negative if I housed with her. I know this from first-hand. I've hung out with her a couple of times before and when we did, I felt inferior and self-conscious. This says something about me, not her, but trying to get over it doesn't help. \n\nHow do I tell her i don't want to / can't room with her over summer?", "summary": "I have an inferiority complex and my acquaintance / friend wants to room together over summer since we're interning at the same place except i can't because my self-esteem would tank but I don't know how to tell her."} {"id": "t3_332amd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [M20] tell her [F26] that she got Chlamydia from me?", "post": "So yesterday my SO called me and said she needed to talk about some serious stuff and I should see her in person. Relationship is 4 1/2 months old.\n\nWhen I came to her flat, she said that we shoul first eat, because afterwards if she told me, I might not be hungry anymore...\nOk, i thought to myself, thinking she would wanna break up with me because of age difference..(she's 26 and 6 years older)\n\nThan I asked if she would wanna share a J with me after dinner. She said that I would probably need it after the news...\nNow I was kind of nervous that it would be something serious...\n\nThen she told me that she accompanied a friend to the urologist a month before and that she did a test as well.\nThe results came in and she had Chlamydia.\nShe was kind of surprised that I didn't make a big deal out of it, and that I showed a very mature response ;)\nShe wanted me to take a test as well asap..\n\nShe told herself that she must be at fault because she was messing around in the summer on xtc with some guy. Idk\nThis happened 4 months before we started dating.\n\nI didn't tell her that before we started dating and in the beginning phase of the relationship, I had some burning when urinating and there was yellowish-light greeny stuff every end of the day in my underpants. But now it's gone since 2 months.\n\nI never had unprotected sex until this relationship, but that one time 1 1/2 month before starting dating, i had a ONS with protection, but in the morning after in the shower with her, I didn't use protection.\nI might suspect that it is then when I caught it.\nShould I tell my SO that she isn't at fault and that I had a ONS without protection before dating?\nIt's not that chlamydia is for life...\nShould I let her wallow in her self-pity or should I take the blame?\n\nI mean, if I don't say anything, she will always think that she gave me that.", "summary": "My SO has been tested on Chlamydia and I'm afraid I have it too. She thinks she gave it to me whereas I surely know I gave it to her."} {"id": "t3_2hxvao", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By Popping My Testicle Pimple", "post": "Happened a few minutes ago... Still in ball pain...\n\nSo I was doing some french homework, and I was basically procrastinating from my science project that is due Thursday (not even started yet, assigned a week ago). My language arts essay and vocab essay due Friday (both assigned a week ago). I guess I got bored because I pulled my cock n balls out. Almost immediately I noticed this huge ass pimple (seriously, fucking Mt Everest grew on my testicles...) Instinctively I go to pop it, and it was really hard to. And it hurt. I kept pinching and then it started spraying this white skin-ball puss in a streamline. It got all over my homework and now there's a bleach-like ball sweat smelling stream-line shaped stain on my textbook pages. Now there is also a huge ass red Mt. Olympus Mons on my testicles, it hurts like hell.", "summary": "Discovered testi-pimple, sprayed my load from said pimple, Martians took over test-pimple and named it Mt. Olympus Mons."} {"id": "t3_2avdr2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Should I [16m] text my online friend [16f] who appears to ignore me? (x-post /r/advice)", "post": "This person was the one who contacted me (met through reddit) and we chatted constantly for 5 months and I thought we were really good friends because we would always talk about our lives and we would vent to the other person. A month ago this person just never answered my last question (just a normal how are you) i messaged this person through Steam a few weeks after not getting contact because I thought maybe their WhatsApp account got closed. But the person just said that she totally forgot about me and we started chatting a little. A day after that she initiated contact again and then when I asked how her day went I again never got a answer.\n\nNow 2, nearly 3 weeks are gone and I never got an answer to this stupid question and now she is again online. She was offline for 2 weeks but now she is online every few days and I am sure she saw my message but well I never got an answer back.", "summary": "Online friend didn't respond in 2 weeks for the second time and I thought we were good friends. Now I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_12q7ha", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Should people get extra time for university examinations because of disabilities like ADD?", "post": "Do you think that schools should accommodate people with disabilities like ADD when they are writing examinations with things like extra time or open book exams? Should there be any safeguards put in place? How much privacy is the student requesting the accommodation entitled to?\n\nI am asking this because there is a general debate going on in my school regarding rumours of accommodation that some other students are receiving. The rumour is that one student receives additional time and gets to write an open book exam. Our school is also anonymous with exams, so these exams go back into the global pile and the professor has no idea who has or has not received accommodation. It could be possible for this person to write thousands of additional words. The rumour is also that this person receives outstanding grades. It is also important to note that we are marked on a curve for the class of 160, and the job market is very competitive, so that is where there is this debate.\n\nOne faction of the debate argues that for the type of degree we are obtaining, you really cannot be unable to work under time and pressure constraints. There is unlikely to be this type of accommodation in the workplace, so is the school setting these students up for failure by allowing them to get degrees in a field that they won't be able to work in?\n\nOne faction of the debate argues that there are serious barriers in education systems for people with disabilities. Furthermore, examinations often have little correlation to actual abilities anyways, so the entire degree is arbitrary and there is no point even debating the issue.\n\nI'm not asking specifically about whatever policies your university or jurisdiction has regarding accommodation (but the discussion could go there). What is your reaction regarding the fairness and equity for accommodation, considering the perspectives of those who claim disabilities and also the class at large.", "summary": "What is your reaction to people being accommodated in university? Is this fair to the other students? Should there be more accommodation?"} {"id": "t3_175812", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Will i be able to get a secret security clearance (US)?", "post": "Here is the only reasons i can imagine why i wouldn't, one major and one minor:\n\n* I had an \"approval?\" for a secret security clearance while i was joining the Marine Corps, my mos was supposed to be data systems. My recruiter convinced me that i lost my \"approval\" before i left (for an out of state driving under suspension fiasco that could of been resolved), i was so depressed that i let him throw me into whatever he wanted (for anyone who knows anything you know i ended up 0311), turned out i never lost my \"approval\" and upon finding this out i went UA during MOS training, eventually coming back and processing out. (go ahead and berate me but i assure you i took care of that myself a long time ago). I don't remember my exact exit code (i think that's what its called) but i know it prohibits me from ever re-enlisting.\n\n* Second reason is related to first. The driving under suspension fiasco went unresolved when my recruiter convinced me to leave for training despite a pending court date. The non-appearance seems to only of gave me a default judgement of 4 years suspension (done and over now).\n\nSo basically, i want to get a job in the IT field, my hope is at a data center, i've been running my own business for a while (computer repair, small business IT, web hosting) and i'm tired of it and am looking to go to school. It seems many of the data centers near me want you to have secret security clearance and that has me concerned.", "summary": "went UA from USMC and was discharged with an OTH, looking to go to school for an IT job that might require a secret security clearance, can i have?"} {"id": "t3_3crxxm", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "My [20/M] friend [20/F] might love me and I don't know what to do about it", "post": "A friend I have known for 2 years has been giving me mixed signals for the past year. I've confronted her about this and she says it is nothing but she keeps making both romantic and sexual comments towards me (which she doesn't do to other people). I later found out that she told mutual friends that she thinks that she is in love with me. I also tried talking to her about this but she said that they must have somehow misunderstood what she said and that she wasn't. Talking to our friends again showed that this couldn't have been the case. \n\nI like her and want to go out with her. We are good friends and I asked her out when we first met (and didn't know each other) but she turned me down. It feels like she wants me to ask again now but she is not willing to talk to me about what she wants from our relationship first or ask me out herself. \n\nI don't want to ruin this friendship by pressing the matter when she doesn't seem to want to talk to me about it. I also don't want to ask her out and potentially change things or get into a relationship where I can't communicate effectively with my partner. I don't understand what she is thinking here so any insights would be greatly appreciated! This is making our friendship difficult for me as I don't know what the boundaries are or what she wants from me.", "summary": "Friend tells other friends that she loves me but tells me she doesn't. I want to go out with or stay friends with her but I don't know how to proceed or talk to her about it."} {"id": "t3_hztd4", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Purchased some e-readers, iPods from CL, one of which comes up \"blacklisted: stolen\". Advice on how to glean info about the owner?", "post": "Found some electronics at a very good price (i.e. not \"too good to be true\", but cheaper than average) on my local Craigslist. The transaction was fairly innocuous: met in daylight at a shopping plaza, and all items were turned on to show that they weren't broken. \n\nHowever, when we tried to connect the Kindle, it refused to register. A quick call to Amazon determined that the serial # in question was blacklisted as lost/stolen. The seller had stated that the device was de-registered and wiped, so it was *possible* that it had been accidentally blacklisted as part of that transaction.\n\nI called the seller back, but all I was able to say was \"hello, I purchased some electronics from you yesterday evening--\" before the call was ended by the other party. Subsequent calls rang, but were never picked up.\n\nSo at this point, I can't *prove* the Kindle was stolen, but there's a fair bit of suspicious action from the seller's part. I sent a quick \"please explain the blacklisting\" text, but I expect the next major step will be giving the local police a heads up. I still have the Craigslist posting ID and a print out of the ad, so if they cared to, they could subpoena the blahblahblahblah, but that's not my decision.\n\nIn the meantime, I've googled the mobile number and it's not coming up with much info--it's a common local area code, and I'm pretty sure I know which carrier it is, but unless I want to impersonate the account holder, I don't know how to get more info.\n\nI'm also running some freeware file recovery software on the devices as best I can. I'm not sure what forensic analysis I can do on wiped devices, but perhaps Reddit has some ideas?", "summary": "purchased a Kindle + some other electronics that *may* have been stolen. Looking to recover info about the owner from the Kindle, ipods, or the mobile number."} {"id": "t3_4qnaxe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21 M] accidentally saw some nude pictures of my gf [21 F] on her phone that she did not send to me", "post": "Some background: we've been dating for three years, we live together. I love her, I believe she loves me, but our sex life is gone.\n\nLately she has been very private about her phone, texting to some guys I don't know. If I ask about, it's just some old friend and I leave it there as I don't want to seem jealous and crazy. One time I happened to glance over my girlfriends shoulder when she was on her phone. She had the gallery open and I saw some pictures with her naked in provocative poses. This happened while she was texting with some guy I don't know (and old friend she tells me) who I saw send her an almost-nude-dickpick (underwear on but shape still very visible). \n\nI confronted her about it and she started crying. She said that was not meant for her, the guy was drunk and she already (supposedly) had to told him to not to that anymore. But the nude selfies I saw on her phone were not meant for me. She's never in our three years together sent me a nude pic. She told me that the pictures were for herself, she has low self-esteem and likes to take pictures of her body when she feels good about herself. I really want to believe her, but just can't.\n\nTo add to all this, our sex life is non-existent. We've talked about it on a few occasions and she claims she doesn't want anyone else, and it kills her that she doesn't want me either. I want to believe that she is not cheating on me, just sexting at worst.\n\nI tried talking about it when I saw those things, she kept very defensive, apologized and told me she hasn't sent any pics of herself to anyone. I asked if I could check her phone but she wouldn't let me. Is it completely wrong for me to try and look through her conversations or picture albums on the phone? I feel really bad about doing it because I don't want to be that crazy jealous guy. What kind of an approach should I take?", "summary": "gf has nude pics on her phone. I suspect she's sexting with other guys but I can't prove it."} {"id": "t3_3gq2ol", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Threatened guy who was harassing my gf. What are my options?", "post": "Canada btw\n\nBasically, 2 years ago (before I was with gf), this guy impersonated someone my gf was seeing at the time using a texting app and got her to send a nude photo of her. He knew both of them so he's not a complete stranger (identity still unknown though). A couple days ago a number messages my gf's friends phone asking for nudes, my gfs #, and my gfs nudes. I text it and manage to convince him it's my gf and he says he has a nude of me. I manage to convince him to send it to prove it was him, and sure enough it was. So now he's trying to get another picture out of my gf. Normally, I'd probably go to the police right now (after calming down a bit), but in my fit of anger, I told the guy to watch his back etc so im wondering /r/legaladvice, will I go down with him if I threatened him, even though he was (sexually?) harassing my gf and her friend?", "summary": "gf send nudes to stranger impersonating someone 2 years ago. Strangers back for more, I threaten his ass, now I want to narc on his dumb ass."} {"id": "t3_27tdd9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Conclusion: Im [21 M] with my SO [19 F] of a few months, trying to cope in a long distance relationship", "post": "I posted yesterday, I was losing my mind trying to figure out if I should express my feelings for her or not as I didnt want to burden her (she said she loved me but wasnt sure how she felt about us in a relationship anymore). Anyways.. I told her how I truly loved her and I dont want to love or even go out with any girl but her and that seeing her with other people in a romantic way would crush me. I hoped that would at least merit some response, maybe she would acknowledge that she cares for me and is still jealous for me.\n\nInstead, she ignored my words and simply stated that she cant be tied to anything and be happy, at this point. She said maybe that will change for her and she hopes it does. I was told it isn't fair to either of us to be in a relationship where one of us is unhappy. And that makes sense to me, I just failed to realize she was unhappy with me.\n\nUsually this would drive me up the wall. My normal response would be to start crying, feel hurt and disregarded, and then start yelling at everything while punching my punching bag. I mean, my love was rejected.. worse, it wasn't acknowledged. But now, as I type this, I just am. I dont feel good or bad. I've said all I can to her and she knows exactly how I feel. \n\nThere is not point in caring anymore; it either will or it wont work out for us. I realize that pleading and hoping is futile. She doesn't know what she wants and it is now apparent she won't trouble herself with my cares. I feel like this should hurt but I dont feel anything about it right now. I just feel a little bit sleepy. I feel like my body is numb. \n\nIs this the normal response from what should be heartbreak?", "summary": "I told the girl I've been in a relationship with that I can love no one but her and I was told she couldn't be happy if she was with me or anyone. How should I feel?"} {"id": "t3_43rxf3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by laughing like a psychopath while getting blood work done", "post": "Obligatory: This didn't happen today, rather last year.\n\nA little backstory: It was second semester of senior year, so I was extremely unmotivated to do my schoolwork and I stayed up late at night and played video games. Instead of sleeping at night, I would sleep in some of my classes during the day. My Mom happened to work at my high school and when the teachers noticed me sleeping a lot, they of course told my mother. So when my mother asked me why I was tired, I of course didn't tell her the real reason. I simply said, \"I'm not sure.\" She then took it upon herself to take me to go see a doctor (she thought I had mono). The doctor couldn't see anything wrong with me (because there wasn't anything wrong with me), so he simply suggested I get blood work done just to be safe.\n\nNow, the fun part. I had never had blood work done before, so I didn't know what to expect. I have a nervous habit of laughing when I'm in uncomfortable/unknown situations. We arrive at the hospital and sit in the waiting room for a bit, my anxiety slowly building. They finally call me in, and I sit down. Another weird thing that I do (that I can't really explain) is laugh when I experience physical pain. Unless it is excruciatingly painful, I will usually laugh at whatever the pain is. This time being no different, I start laughing when the Nurse puts the needle in my arm. The combination of nervous laughter and my pain laughter made the nurse give me a quick look of confusion/what the fuck is wrong with this kid. Realizing that I probably look like a psychopath to this nurse made me laugh even harder, to the point where I am almost losing my breath from laughing so hard.\n\nNeedless to say it was pretty awkward once I finished having my blood taken.", "summary": "Mom thought I was sick, took me to get blood work done. When they took my blood I started laughing hysterically and the Nurse probably thought I was a psychopath."} {"id": "t3_u8981", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I 24m distance myself from a friend 24f?", "post": "I am a 24 year old male who has a close female friend also 24. We are great friends and have been since freshmen year of college about 6 years ago. \n\nMy problem is this, when we first met we dated for about a month. Nothing got very serious we never had sex and we both realized that we were better friends than a couple. We have remained good friends for years with the occasional ups and downs that seem to happen in all of my friendships. However one thing has always been true during this. No matter how or where I met any girlfriend of mine during that time period at some point they got jealous of our friendship and how close we are. Until recently I always thought that it was a normal friendship and that my girlfriends were being overly jealous. \n\nI have recently come to realize that they are right and that this friendship is a constant source of discontent with anyone I try to get close to. It is currently keeping a girl I have been in love with for over a year from dating me because she feels like she will always be jealous of my friend. On the other side of things both myself and my friend are getting tired of people assuming we are in a relationship. I am really tired of being alone and this relationship is one of the biggest hurdles I have to overcome anytime I try to fix that. \n\nMy question is how do I distance myself from her without being a complete asshole. Also how do I make it obvious to the girl that I am currently trying to date that she has nothing to worry about? Thanks for any help you guys can give.", "summary": "As a guy I have a close female friend who makes all other female friends jealous and ruins my relationships including one I am currently trying to develop. How do I fix that without being a dick?"} {"id": "t3_u3uk7", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is love, really? I'm on a quest to find out. I need your help.", "post": "I'm on a mission to find what love really is. What being in love, and the relationship between love and our lives is. We've got limited amount of time (maybe 80 years) and energy (only a tolerable amount of bad experiences) to pursue love, so what is a person to do with it? How do you know if you can commit? What signs can a person read to recognize if a person is right *enough* for you or not?\n\n**Personal Context**: I'm a 23yr old male, currently single but with a few previous long relationships. These past months I've been thinking about this, especially because a friend of mine is enduring this quest without realizing it. She broke up with her boyfriend and got back together with him, but she know that she doesn't *really* love him. She's fine with him, he's a nice kid, she's optimistic about him - but I think she's not in control. She's letting the other guy take the wheel and drive (the other guy knows how to get philosophical and smart, giving new perspectives), and I think that ain't right.\n\nOr is it? How much love does there need to be to justify intimacy and trust? How do you know if it is enough? Is it just there, from the beginning, without even noticing? Can it grow from where it isn't before? Is it something you recognize, or something you *feel*?\n\nHow deep really is love hidden? Is it something you find in the relationship, or is it something that the relationship finds in you? In how you have become? In how you feel, who you are, and all of that?\n\n**But beware**: I'm on a quest on figuring this stuff out. *Anything* you can tell me helps. From advise to my friend, to further context, to psychological input, videos, cultural references -- *anything*. Thank you so much for your help, reddit!", "summary": "Help me figure out the best general practice on how the whole topic of love should be handled by each and every one of us for our lives."} {"id": "t3_1ih1vn", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Need some insurance advice in Alberta, Canada.", "post": "Hi all,\n\nI'm currently in a little bit of a war with an insurance company concerning a car accident I was in in the beginning of March. \n\nWhat happened is I was driving down a straight road, their insured pulled out of an alley in front of me causing me to hit the side of his vehicle. Very clearly his fault. \n\nNow the problems arise. We went to the hospital immediately following the accident, was prescribed some light duties and checked out. Was told whiplash likely won't show for a couple days. Which was accurate. During this time I was constantly on the phone with both insurance companies trying to work out a rental(my vehicle was a write off) and figure out medical for me and my girlfriend. \n\nWell, their insurance company refused to accept liability for their insured for about 3 weeks. During this time my insurance company was telling me that they would not cover medical until liability has been determined. At this time I was in no place to be footing any medical bills out of pocket which meant I couldn't do anything until somebody for their shit together. \n\nFinally, 3 weeks later I get some sort of good news. His insurance would push the claim through as a \"non prejudice\" claim but they wouldn't cover the cost of my rental as that was my choice to rent a vehicle, wtf? That bill was now at $780. I now go to the bank, get a loan and buy a vehicle, pay the car rental off out of pocket. Then tore a strip off a number of people there, used some common sense bombs on them and was able to get my rental payment reimbursed. \n\nNow, finally, they have decided to settle the medical side of things. They offered EXTREMELY low. $750 and $1100 for over a month of pain. Their reasoning? Our treatment plans were short and in my case non existent. The reasoning for that though is that nobody was willing to cover my bills until this ridiculous company took liability.", "summary": "insurance company took a really long time to cover my medical. By that time I was already feeling mostly better so medical treatment was minimal. Now they're trying to screw me on the settlement. "} {"id": "t3_1bvwyu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My gf [24] and I [23] of 5 months are having problems and idk what to do...I feel like I'm losing a girl I've completely fallen in love with.", "post": "Been together for 5 months and after about 3 months I basically moved in with her. Not officially but slept over pretty much every night for the past 2 months and only going home once a week. She loved me a lot and would kiss me too much but it was fine. I could handle it. But the past two weeks she's been acting different. Seemed to me like she wasn't really acknowledging my presence. Had to ask for a hug and kiss and she would sigh like it was inconvenient. I've asked what's wrong and she would say she doesn't know. She just needs time and space. So for a week I pondered on that and gave her space. Now two days ago she goes out after work with friends and doesn't tell me. She didn't get home til 6am. So I was really upset but I let it go til we woke up and she said she doesn't know what's going on. She still loves me but needs space. So I told her I'd move the few things I had there (tv clothes food) back home. She said whatever at first but then I explained idk what to do and She seemd okay with it. It was sad and we were both upset..I didn't wanna move home but I feel it was needed. Idk how this is gunna work out. I may be over reacting? But I feel like I'm gunna lose her over this. We've been texting a little bit but haven't talked much. Stopped by to drop something off and didn't get a hug or a kiss or anything. Just a hi thanks and bye. Idk What to do reddit.. :(", "summary": "shes been acting different lately so imoved home after staying at my gfs for 2 months. Feel like I'm losing her."} {"id": "t3_4m8ie5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (26m) need some advice to understand and overcome financial barrier between me and my gf (f23) who makes more money than I do.", "post": "So we have been dating for over a year now and everything has been great so far. We get along very well and always enjoy doing things together. I would definitely like to make this relationship long term and hopefully something even more. Also, we do not currently live together, but do plan on it in the very near future. \n\nI am currently a college graduate with student debt and struggling to pay bills as I am currently employed social worker. She is in nursing school and bar tends and makes way more money than I do. She is also expected to make more money as a nurse than my current income. \n\nThe only problem that I foresee with our relationship is the current gap between our incomes. She likes to spend money and frequently buys things that I would personally consider frivolous. I completely understand that we are only just currently dating and she is more than welcome to spend her money as she wishes. \n\nIt's just that it is a little frustrating to me when I can barely afford rent and bills and I see that she is able to buy jewelry and name brand clothes and accessories often. \n\nI don't want to be resentful at all. And I don't want to be a financial burden either. I really do try to not let it bother me. \nAm I wrong to feel this way? Any advice for how I can adjust to this?", "summary": "Gf is able to spend money freely while I struggle with income. Help me to not let it be an issue, please. Thank you!"} {"id": "t3_1tcvjm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21f] BF's [24m] rich parents [60s] invited me on vacation with them in the spring. Who should pay?", "post": "So his parents are extremely wealthy, and their vacations tend to be extravagant. This is a graduation gift for my boyfriend from his parents, but they want to pay for me too. Not sure how I feel about it. \n\nI make enough money that I technically COULD afford to pay for myself, and I want to, but I'm not sure if it's the best idea. I am not 100% comfortable with them paying for me to come along though, because their vacations tend to be extravagant and extremely expensive. They can afford to take me, but I kind of feel bad about it, since they paid for me to go on vacation with them last year too, while I was in school. BF's parents refuse to allow BF to pay for me as this trip is his gift from them. So, I'm really at a loss.", "summary": "My boyfriends parents want me to come on a vacation they will pay for. Having trouble being okay with not paying anything."} {"id": "t3_15i24b", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How much in the wrong am I? (22m, 19f)", "post": "I've (22m) been friends with \"M\" (19f) since June and we have been \"dating\" since September. She told me when we started to be more romantic she **did not want a relationship**. We've always been careful with regards to protection and things are good. She was my first and I was effectively her first. I really love the relationship we are in and while its not maybe as committed as most, its good and its helped me increase my self-confidence and I've learned a lot. We have never said we were exclusive and I've actually assumed she was messing around on me, probably not fucking others but probably being unfaithful. Which at first was kind of tough for me, but I've made my peace. \n\nSeeing as we weren't in a committed relationship, I did fool around a bit. I went on a few dates in November with a coworker (23f) and we messed around, but never had sex. There was also a on/off thing with a family friend (16f) that has been going on all throughout but again no sex. Also a one night stand with someone in our mutual friend group. This was last week and it got to \"M\" and she is PISSED at me. \n\nI realize I've probably made some poor decisions, but I don't think I've actually done anything that even borders on cheating. She was the one who said she didn't want a relationship. She is the one who is uncomfortable when I'm overly romantic. So I don't get it. Basically, she has been acting as if I cheated on her.... and she doesn't know about the other two situations. I'm totally confused as to what to do. \n\nI've apologized for the ONS and it didn't mean anything. I haven't turned it on her and asked what she has done, and I strongly suspect she hasn't been little miss faithful herself. Do I just break it all off? Do I give her total honesty about everything?", "summary": "Messed around on my friend who I've been seeing for a few months (but not exclusively). She found out I slept with someone else and is mad and I don't know what to do. "} {"id": "t3_yha96", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So last night, I think I heard a voice in my head. What things have happened to you lately that scared the crap out of you?", "post": "Well, last night I attempted to try Lucid dreaming. I laid motionless in my bed as I tried to drift off into what I hoped to be a pleasant experience. As I lay, I was obviously thinking about stuff. My mind slowly hopped from one subject to another, til at one point I was thinking about a sit com, I think. It was in a school, and a teacher was calling the name \"Markus\" over and over again. No idea why he was calling Markus, as that is not my name. Any who, this went on as I slowly drifted into sleep, until I heard an extremely loud utterance of \"Markus!\" from both inside my head and outside.\n\nIt literally sounded like someone in the room yelled it. It scared the crap out of me, but I left my eyes closed. To my understanding, opening your eyes while trying to lucid dream could lead to sleep paralysis, and apparently you can see terrifying things. Instead, I just flipped over so my face was against my pillow, and tried to calm down. Scary.", "summary": "Was trying to dream, heard an audible voice in my room and head, freaked the fuck out. Maybe I'm schizophrenic. "} {"id": "t3_53psrg", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my gf [26 F] of 4 years, just found out she is cheating", "post": "So I apologize if I'm a little incoherent, this literally happened in the last hour. I'm sitting in a local coffee shop, and this is an attempt to just write it down and get it all out.\n\nSo I've been living with my gf for the last two years. Dated a few years before that.\n\nNormally, I'm at work from 8-5, and as far as I knew, she had the same. At this point, I'm thinking I don't want to assume anything.\n\nI had some stuff for work at home that I had to run back to get earlier this afternoon, went up to our apartment. Once inside, I heard something odd. At this point, I think some part of me knew what I was hearing, but I still just walked closer. It was the sound of my girlfriend fucking, and the sound of some masculine voice fucking her, near as I could tell. I was basically in a fog at this point, and just walked out. My boss at work is a really laid back guy, so I told him that something came up, and I was just going to drop off the paperwork.\n\nAnd now I'm here. Probably looking like psycho, staring at some coffee cup that I'm not going to drink, tapping this out. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do... I think I should be angry, but I feel like my entire brain has been dropped in ice water. I want to be angry, or sad, or something, but I can't seem to feel anything at all right now.\n\nWhat should I do? I'm not even sure how I'd confront her at this point.", "summary": "Home from work on an errand, walk in to hear my longterm GF banging some guy. No other details, currently emotionally dead."} {"id": "t3_y7tua", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "How does a 23 year old single guy save on taxes?", "post": "Some Background: I graduated from college two years ago and since then have been working in IT Product Management. I started working at a large public company and recently transitioned to a small start up in the LA area. \n\nI making 80k as a salary but I take home around 50K after taxes. I only have 20K saved (I recently bought a car at an auction for 23k) and am planning to contribute my first 5k in a Vanguard IRA today. The startup doesn't offer any 401k. I have absolutely zero debt at this point.\n\nMy Question:\nHow do I save in taxes? Is a CPA really the only way to go?\n\nFrom what I read on reddit, the \"1%\" that is able to pay 15% in taxes generally does so via capital gains, which I have not been able to make (I lost ~1000 dollars on speculation which turned me off Mr. Market)\n\nMy parents have been really hammering the idea that I should purchase a house and rent out rooms to pay the mortgage. I just can't see the logic of going into hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt and being a slave to my job.", "summary": "23 year old. 80K salary. How to save on taxes without buying a house/getting married/making babies?"} {"id": "t3_t2vrk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Help me - I need to hear from people who have tried to fix a marriage after an affair", "post": "I have just found out that my wife has been having an affair.\n\nEven worse, this is not just some physical fling - she is in love with the guy, and \"loves me but is not in love with me\".\n\nHowever she says she is ending it with this guy, and wants to go to counseling with me to try to repair our marriage - to try to fall back in love with me. We've been together, between dating and marriage, for almost 25 years. We are both in our mid-40s. We have small children. We are best friends.\n\nI'm shocked to find myself seriously considering trying counseling and trying to repair this marriage. I wish for my wife to fall in love with me again, but how realistic is that? Am I just engaging in wishful thinking, and will this just painfully drag out our situation?\n\nI need to hear from anyone who has tried to repair a marriage after an affair. If you managed to stay married, what worked for you? If not, what are your thoughts?", "summary": "Wife cheated, loves but is not in love with me, is in love with other guy - but wants to end affair / repair marriage. Need to hear from anyone who tried to heal their marriage after an affair"} {"id": "t3_1i5000", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17F] him [19m] I thought i was ok but now its catching up to me, HELP!", "post": "we were together for over a year and a half and honestly we had the most perfect relationship. It was getting a little weird towards the end, he started smoking weed a lot which in the beginning i was ok with but it was getting to a point where he wouldnt come out with me. I know I should of been more understanding. We had alot of little issues that somehow ended up becoming one huge argument. To be honest it felt like he left me for weed. He never use to do it but it ultimately it caused issues in our relationship. He had changed as a person. Anyway we broke up around a month ago and i handled it pretty well. But now im beginning to hurt and i dont want it to. I feel like I need him to miss me? if that makes sense.. Every time someone mentions his name or anything regarding him i feel sick. And for some reason i just cant seem to shake the feeling that it wasn't our time to end. I felt like we were meant for each other and i'm not sure if i'll find another person who shares the same interests and values as me. I miss his cats. It makes it harder because hes friends with all my guy friends that i hang out with at school.", "summary": "Is is normal to hurt later? Is it normal to feel sick anything regarding him and memories? and is it also normal to still think you belonged with the person? How can i tell if hes hurting? "} {"id": "t3_498xhi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [31M] with my girlfriend [24F] of six months, found out she's been cutting. What do I do?", "post": "She has had serious problems with cutting previously and this is clearly a relapse which she's been hiding from me. I can't tell exactly how old the cuts are from the quick glance I took but probably 1 week. On her right hip. She has not engaged in self harm since we started seeing each other 6 months ago. The cuts are just surface, not severe. However, I am extremely concerned and I need to address this with her today, ASAP. \n\nShe clearly doesn't want to admit or talk about what happened. When I asked initially she said, \"I don't know, must have bumped into something.\" I know she's lying. How do I approach her constructively here?", "summary": "girlfriend is cutting, need advice on how to talk to her about it since she doesn't want to and seems closed off."} {"id": "t3_113koy", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Neighbor has mental issues and needs major help, not sure where to turn.", "post": "Hi Reddit, I have a neighbor who I've been told is paranoid schizophrenic. He also has a drinking problem. He lives alone and doesn't seem to be taking his medication (or doesn't have any to take, or it's ineffective). He's outside all hours of the day and night talking to himself, or yelling at people who aren't there, often very loudly. And with the way our condos are laid out, that means he's right outside my living room window most of the time. Usually he's angry or upset, sometimes he's happy when he's drunk. Over the past week he's been getting louder, and is outside more frequently.\n\nI don't know if he has any family ... I've never seen anyone visit him. He doesn't have a job, so I have no idea where he gets money for cigs and alcohol.\n\nI realize I could probably call the cops, but other people have called in the past and they usually just warn him to quiet down. Complaints to the condo board are useless, because all they can do is fine him. Both of these change his behavior in the short term (i.e. a day or two), which I guess is nice for me but ultimately it doesn't help him.\n\nI called 211, but they basically told me I can't do anything because I'm not a relative. So I'm out of ideas. Any thoughts?", "summary": "Neighbor has major mental health issues, his behavior is a problem, not sure how to get him the help he needs."} {"id": "t3_2xj6bn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[20M]How to bounce back?", "post": "Back story: It's been awhile since I was out and about (school and work always tied me up). I haven't found a girl I connected with and I had been feeling a bit lonely, but didn't really mind. I finally got my schedule under control and met a girl through some school events . She seemed nice and overall we connected well. \n\nWe were friends first, I went over to play video games and such (her college is only an hour away from where I'm at) and so forth. Eventually I developed feelings for her and after further conversation she developed some for me. I took her out to a nice dinner and we really enjoyed it. This past week I haven't really been able to talk to her because I've been studying hard for some exams, although I manage to have small chats every now and again. \n\nWe've been talking about a second date and things are overall going great. \n\nI called her about an hour ago and her phone vibrates (it's deafening at times) and I ask who just killed my ears to which she calmly replies \"oh, just my boyfriend.\" \n\n*whoa whoa whoa, I thought she was into me?! *\n\nNope. Turns out she just got back together with her ex the day before I'm going to take her out to a great second date, now I have some nice flowers and a table for two for myself. Self-esteem kind of went down and\n\n I don't know if I should address it or what.", "summary": "night before second date with a girl after connecting for a while, she drops bombshell she just got back together with ex."} {"id": "t3_3qdtjn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 25M with my 24F well it's all over nothing..", "post": "*or\n\nBack story- we dated since nov 2014 two break ups.\n\nMy ex and I decided to not to see eachother anymore mid May, talked throughout summer and finally got into an argument in early August and stopped talking completely until mid September.\n\n Then to this point it's been few convos and snapping a few times a week.Finally mustered the courage to call her on Tuesday? and we spoke for about hour. This past month has been absolutely awful with college and life, so I called and told her what has been happening and stuff.\n\nWell I was feeling okay throughout the week just chatting. But then she sends me a video at a hockey game with another couple. And I text her, \"how's the game?\" nothing back at all and then another video of her at the bar. Well anyways we chatted Saturday briefly that night while she was at the bar with friend.\n\nTonight Texted her just to talk for a bit, and i asked casually who all went to the game. \nH whyyy do you want to know \nMi was just wondering. You wouldn't be snapping me with any ***** (< name for the other gender ) with you would you? \nH****** or no ***** I do what I want when I want now.\nQuickly changed the convo. I know she's involved somehow now. It's shitty that she would actually send me a video at game and telling me that she was wasted.\nWell last nightwhen watching the walking dead I told her the typical I need you and a hug shit.\n I told her to think about and consider it. She is currently doing so. Where do I stand? I know this is the last time she will take me back, I do see a future with her. *rolling the dice", "summary": "! Trying to get back together with my ex after a god awful month. I told her how I felt and she will consider it. Her words, I don't want to give you false hope."} {"id": "t3_vl0ym", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I work in a marketing department and my boss just asked me to help define my role. What does an \"art director\" role look like?", "post": "I'm a professional designer/videographer/web dev and I joined my company 2 years ago as a production person, but the department has changed quite a bit and now I find myself managing 4 creative people. This role has never been clearly defined, and I rarely find myself the opportunity to be creative, which is my passion.\n\nThe department has dedicated project managers that do nothing but interface with internal clients and the production team. Too often, I'm left out of the loop on the creative direction, and my team feels that the suggestions I offer to help improve the final product are coming from someone who doesn't have the technical ability to offer such advice \u2013\u00a0they've never seen what I can do from a production standpoint.\n\nWhat are options for structure, roles, project management that I could fit into? If you are an Art Director, what does your day-to-day consist of, and how to you manage your team and your boss?", "summary": "How does an \"art director\" who manages production people fit into a marketing organization that has dedicated project managers and find creative fulfillment?"} {"id": "t3_26erhf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (17M) just broke-up with my GF(17F) of 6months. Feeling confused and lost.", "post": "Met this girl at school 6 months ago. I asked her out after leading a strong friendship with her. \n\nBackground info: She regularly went to parties and clubs where she would get drunk. I have never been to a party or gotten drunk. We lead different lifestyles. However, we were really close.\n\nThe break-up: About two weeks ago she began acting odd in my company, not going in for hugs and not wanting to go out as much. We haven't had any form of sexual contact (I'm still a virgin) but we were planning on having intercourse in the near future. 2 days ago she texted me out of the blue saying that we had to chat. She says that she doesn't feel like she is ready for a relationship and that she is sorry. I asked why and she went on a rant about how her ex hurt her and she is scared it will happen again. I said that i understood and agreed that we wont be seeing each other anymore.\n\nWhy am I writing this?: i don't know what to do. I used to speak to her daily, I'm feeling a little lonely and hurt by it all. She is going out clubbing on Monday night with her friends and i feel that maybe there is a reason underlying the break up other than what was said. I want to move on but there is a little voice saying i gave in too easy and just let her go when I shouldn't have. I don't know what to do.", "summary": "broke up with girlfriend of six months. I'm suspicious as to why she broke up with me as I feel her reason is a cover up. Now I feel hurt, lonely and lost. What should i do?"} {"id": "t3_wykig", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is it weird that I'm reclusive? Mebbe people wanna drop some insight/knowledge.", "post": "I'm 24 years old, 100% independent, decent looking, and get along with people just fine. However, I find myself being a total recluse. I feel like a dick because I don't really hang out with friends anymore and I feel kinna like I'm wasting my life, but I can't really break out of it. When it comes down to it, unless someone is really adamant about hanging out, I'll just stay in. The only exception is my gf who has been away for 2 years but she's moving back soon :]. I kinna wanna figure this out before she moves back if possible though.", "summary": "I'm a 24 year old male who lives by himself and gets along well with people but for some reason doesn't hang out with friends much anymore."} {"id": "t3_4dek5y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of a year. I can't stop imagining him having sex with other people while we have sex with each other(repost from r/sex)", "post": "I had been close friends with my boyfriend before our relationship became romantic / sexual. We spoke about sex and relationships and I entered the relationship knowing all of the people he has been with and many intimate details about his past. A few of the people he's been with are friends of mine who I see regularly, some I see very periodically. \n\nI have had jealous tendencies I am working on but the worst is that I keep imagining him having sex with people his has slept with in the past. I do this most often while we are having sex which has dampened my libido and caused me distress.\n\nHe is very respectful of stopping if I need to and we have spoken about this some but at this point I feel it is something I need to personally overcome whether by changing my frame of mind or training myself to turn my brain off or something.", "summary": "My biggest jealousy problem is imagining him having sex with his exes (our friends) and it's upsetting / ruins my libido"} {"id": "t3_piow6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is this irony? And what should I do?", "post": "So backstory, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost 15 months now and we're in a long distance relationship (about 2 hours apart). Now I get to see her a few days out of the month and it started getting hard. So I decided to transfer, even if I didn't really want to. She kept telling me to do what I wanted and that I probably wasn't doing the right thing. She always wanted me to transfer but I guess she didn't want to feel guilty about me leaving just for her. And she kind of guilts me into coming home, saying that I like partying more than her. But I am deciding to come home anyway. So anyway she got an email from her guidance counselor tonight about applying for a full year study abroad at Oxford university (another country). And now the only thing holding her back is me. I want to be supportive and tell her that she should follow her own advice. But I really don't want to lose her. I can't help feeling selfish for wanting her to stay.", "summary": "Only thing holding me back from staying at school is my girlfriend. Only thing holding her back from studying abroad is me."} {"id": "t3_459lzm", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I live with my parents but I make I think ok money.", "post": "Hi Personal Finance. I come from an Asian family where my father recently passed away. He left me a sum of money which I immediately used to pay off my student loans and my car loans. My sister and mother also pooled their share with me to pay off the house we live in so my mother can have a restful end of days with her grandson. Now, I have a 401k set up with my employer that matches up to 6% with me putting 15% total on it. I am 28 years old and have about 41k in savings with roughly 20k-ish in 401k. I am planning on getting married, but due to our cultural upbrining, its either getting married expensively or saving up to buy a house. Not two at the same time. My gf works retail at around minimum wage and is planning on finishing her school which then removes any form of income for her. I make about 78k. My check per month comes out at about 3100 per month. I split the cost of living, such as utilities with my sister and her husband. Would I be able to buy a house soon? I understand its about 20% of down payment but I am unsure. I am not good with money, I usually just throw it in savings so I come to PF to hear any advice. Thank you so much for helping me out. My gf and I are stressed out what to do with her schooling and myself \"Trying\" to plan our life out.", "summary": "Make about 3100 a month. Pay utilities around 400 - 500~ Would this type of money be enough to afford a home in Central Valley, California? Thank you PF."} {"id": "t3_1x87x3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17M] My friend [17M] that I am pushing away, again. What is wrong with me?", "post": "I have always been a loner my whole life, never had that one real best friend that I told everything, was always part of a group, a follower I suppose. I was alone for about five years, parents worried on why my siblings had friends over every weekend and I never did. I am a very like-able person, but here is the problem that has suddenly appeared.\n\n---\n\nEvery time I meet someone who likes me and wants to hang out or play together online with me, I love to death for about a few weeks. Than suddenly I get start pushing them away and making excuses on not to hang out with them. I dont know why I do this. Recently another person like appeared. I just told him my headset broke so we didn't voice chat. What is wrong with me? Do I just have trust problems or is it something else. \n\n--- \n\nI feel like not even my parents really know anything about me, but dont get me wrong they have given me all the love and opportunities in the world to excel. Anyways, I am doing what I always do again, and I want some type of closure, whether I just stop talking to him and go back to being alone which I both hate/love. Or force myself into more social interaction.", "summary": "Every person who starts being my friend I push away after a few weeks, I need closure on why I do this and what to do."} {"id": "t3_33tabi", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by falling asleep at the wheel.", "post": "This literally just happened. Still feeling like trash so I thought I'd break my reddit cherry to maybe make myself feel better. Probably not gonna work. \n\nI'm a high school senior with many college options. This weekend I, along with my two parents and two little brothers, we're driving to Baltimore (a 14 hour drive) to visit a potential college. Being the arrogant stupid teen I am, I took a 3 hour nap and thought I could drive the trip. I just got my license a few months ago so I am still in that \"love driving\" stage. \n\n8 hours into the drive and I'm feeling good. It's bright and early in the morning, my music is blasting, I say a few cocky words to my dad who is dozing off... And I blink. Next thing I know I doze off in seconds, my car drifts off the lane and hits the guard rail, and everyone wakes up and starts screaming. I brake, the car swerves and spins, and somehow ends up parked on the side of the highway, out of harms way. \n\nThis is bad enough, but even worse because I literally just got this car back (someone rear-ended me last month going to school) and my mom was pestering me the entire time asking if I was tired - and of course I declined. Well... Shit.", "summary": "Fell asleep in seconds and fucked up my car during a long trip. Riding the bus for the rest of the school year fa sho."} {"id": "t3_3r2z95", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "[Help] My dog can't keep his mouth shut and keeps biting me.", "post": "Hey guys,\n\nI adopted a now 4 month-old (Newfoundland mix) huge puppy about 4 weeks ago. At first he was behaving he only had trouble understanding the concept of walking on a leash. But recently he seems to be out of control. Digging and stealing stuff I can deal with because all my dogs did this when they were young. My main concern is his biting.\n\nI know he's a puppy and all puppies go through the mouthing phase but he seems more..aggressive in a way. As soon as he notices me he just jumps on me and bites my legs/arms and recently he goes for the face. Now I've never tolerated him even touching his teeth against human skin. I taught my old Pumi the same way and he still takes treats from my hand with surgical precision. But the puppy just doesn't learn. Even when he is behaving and sits still and I pet him as a reward he sometimes just jumps up and bites my chest usually going for the face or the neck. \n\nAny advice on how to teach him more effectively? All the advice I get from people around me is to just slap his nose when he bites but isn't that just encouraging the fighting/more aggressive playing? \n\nThanks!", "summary": "4 months old big puppy keeps jumping on people and biting them. Legs, arms, torso, even goes for the head sometimes.*"} {"id": "t3_4ibr01", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 F] with my roommate [21 F] of 2 years, we are supposed to hang out on Mother's day and her mom passed away. What is something nice I could do for her that isn't too over the top or that wouldn't backfire and make her more sad?", "post": "Hi Reddit! My roommate \"Jackie\" and I are supposed to hang out tomorrow on Mother's Day because I don't talk to my mother and her mother passed away when she was younger.\n\nJackie is away for the night and I really want to do something nice for her so that she has a good day tomorrow and either commemorates or keeps her mind off of not having a mom to celebrate with. \n\nI have never lost a family member and so I am not sure what would be inappropriate or over the top but I do want to do something so any suggestions would be super helpful!\n\n I don't have a lot of money right now but I would really love suggestions of things that are inexpensive or that you would like if you were missing a parent on Mother's/Father's day.", "summary": "Roommate's mother passed away when she was younger and she and I are spending time together tomorrow on Mother's day and I want to know how to help make the day feel special and memorable for her."} {"id": "t3_4qljcs", "subreddit": "weddingplanning", "title": "Engagement announcements! What makes sense?", "post": "First off, let me just say it is GREAT to be able to join you all finally instead of just lurking and wishing! FH surprised me with a proposal on our vacation and I could not be happier- we've been together for quite some time so I knew it was coming theoretically, I just didn't know when!\n\nNow that it's happened, we've been considering engagement announcements. We're interested in doing this for two reasons:\n\n1) I have a great deal of family that I can't let know due to my lack of social media. \n\n2) We are considering an engagement party. Well..my mother is. She wants us to have one, thrown by her. It's a very sweet thing, but a complete other story. \n\n3) FH and I have agreed that the actual wedding is waaaaaaaaay off in the future, by at least 3 years. He's finishing up his PhD, were trying to pay off my student loans as quickly as possible, I've just really started my career and he's waiting to truly begin his. We've knocked around the idea of getting civilly married soon (for financial reasons) and having the wedding later, but that's still up in the air. **If anyone has experience doing this, I'd also be happy to know about it :)**\n\nMy question to you all is what makes sense? In this amalgam of mad thought, what's your seasoned advice on how we should proceed? What should I be taking into consideration?\n\nI'm sorry for the super lengthy post, I'm really starting from the ground up here! If you've gotten this far, thank you for even taking the time to read!!", "summary": "views on engagement announcements when wedding is far off? Views on civil marriage years before actual wedding? Anything anyone wants to offer up is grossly appreciated!***"} {"id": "t3_2ef1p4", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by dislocating the wifey's shoulder via doggy-style", "post": "This happened last night. Doing this on my phone because too afraid to ask the wife for the computer. Please excuse spelling, punctuation, format, etc. you bastards.\n\nAfter a night out drinking that was full of aggressive come ons, we get back to the house and start the quick strip. I, like the alpha male I am(pretended, but this is the interweb, I'm huge and muscular), threw her onto the bed and let out some primal grunts, alluding to the fact that shit was about to go down, hard. We start everything off, but when I try to dominate even harder, that's when I heard her shriek. I put her arms behind her back a la handcuff style, and at first smirk because yay I hurt her with my dong! Only then do I get donkey-kicked and she turns around to display a fucked up shoulder. I'm not a doctor, but even a dwarf could see that the gap between her shoulder and arm was just not meant to be. I realize this, and I guess as the adrenaline starts to kick in, and I get the spins. Toilet, too, far... and while she gets in front of me to head to the bathroom, a glorious projectile of beer and stomach innards lands all over her back and hair. Oh the names I was called... \n\nAfter I do my time on toilet, I google how to reset her shoulder, pop it back in, and then try to jump in the shower with her. Nope. Off to the couch I went!", "summary": "try to place her hands together hand-cuff style, dislocate her shoulder, freak out and puke on her. Fun times."} {"id": "t3_2kxbhz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (20m) like a girl (19f), don't know if she likes me back, confusing signals", "post": "Hey guys, I met a girl a few months back at a bar ( in a friendly way, not a pick up a girl way ) I helped her pay for her drink because she was low on money. I walked into her again at a different place ( we have a mutual friend that I don't know so well ). I added her on Facebook afterwards and we talk quite a bit, on and off, however if we talk we talk for like 3 hours, most of the time I start the conversation but she has in the past too, and she always seems enthusiastic about talking. Both of our personalities really gel well together, she makes me laugh and I make her laugh even though we don't know each other very well, I told her I liked her a month or so ago and said I hope that wasn't weird, she said it wasn't but hasn't reciprocated my feelings, but doesn't seem any less eager to talk. What should I do? Should I just bite the bullet and ask her out? I have only met her in person those 2 times so it might be strange? Thanks in advance people :)", "summary": "met a girl, said I liked her, she could be either way, we talk quite a lot, does she like me? Should I just ask her out?"} {"id": "t3_44i69x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My mom refuses to talk to me because I compared Jesus Christ to Santa.", "post": "I have no kids, but I sometimes pick up my 15-year-old niece from soccer practice. Erin and I are very close, in age and emotionally. We have hung out together a lot. She is only 4 years younger than me. \n\nI am 19, going on 20. I am also female if that helps. Not sure if it does. \n\nMy family is all religious, to the point where it seems almost like a mental illness. Jesus is everywhere. Erin and I are agnostic and do not agree. \n\nWhile I was in the car, my Mom (56f) called Erin, then texted her a shopping list. I told Erin a joke my boyfriend told me about Jesus being like Santa. It was pretty much: \n\n*How is Jesus like Santa?* \n\n*They both watch you when you sleep and have an obsession with Children.* \n\nIt was super stupid. Erin sent the joke to her friend Arlyn (18f). Arlyn and Auntie are right next to one another and she accidentally sent it to my mom. When my mom called in a fit, I said I told Erin the joke. \n\nThat was three weeks ago and my Mom has not spoken to me or Erin. She says we are going to hell, we might as well be f*ggots. I don't live with my mom, I don't take money from her. My dad pays for some stuff, but he doesn't talk to my mom at all. They are not divorced, but they are also not living like a married couple. He said this is the reason he left and works out of state. \n\nI am just not sure what to do. I love my Mom very much, but my sister (39) and her husband (42) have said I am a bad person. They have not forbidden Erin from seeing me, but she says she got a few talks about not being like me. She laughed about it when they were gone and says she could care less. \n\nWhat do I do?", "summary": "Told my cousin a stupid joke and she accidentally sent it to my mom. Now my mom won't talk to me and my family is mad. Not sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_1u9z1g", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Thoughts on my weight loss?", "post": "Hi Guys, Here is my back story -\n\nI've [female, 18] had a long journey with weight loss (most of it isn't great) I left high school (2011) at 11 stone and just before I started college I got down to 10 stone. During college I ended up around the 12 stone mark (up and downing between 12 and 11) \n\nI'm now at Univeristy and about a month ago I was at my highest ever weight, 13 stone 12lbs. During Christmas break I've noticed I've gone down to 12 stone 11 lbs which is a bit scary because I'm not sure it's normal to lose that much weight in a month.\n\nI have started dieting but not much seeing as it was Christmas. I've been eating a lot of pork and vegetables and trying to cut down on sugars such as fizzy pop and chocolate which is easy when I'm at home but I'm afraid when I go back to University I'm going to eat too many takeaways and things. \n\nI've always found that diet and controlling my calories works better than exercise for me, when I first lost weight I was on the slim-fast diet which despite being highly criticized worked really well for me however when I got down to the weight I wanted I just ate it all back on again, but to be fair I didn't really try to keep the weight off.", "summary": "I've had a rocky road with weight loss but found diet and controlling my calories is the best way to lose weight (for me!) Lost 1 stone in 1 month eating healthily and exercising."} {"id": "t3_2qlah4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17 m] need help", "post": "I don't know what to do. I feel like while I'm good looking I can never find any one who cares enough to get to know me for me. I have 5 best friends that are girls, I had a thing with one, but she always said she doesn't know what to feel so I stopped talking to her. I guess my biggest issue is when I talk to girls I get to know them and they get to know me and we do stuff.\n\nI'm just tired of this high school bull shit, I just want someone to love. Someone to cuddle without having sex, without thinking that sex makes are relationship serious, I mean I just want a girl who doesn't think that all guys want is sex. I need help finding the kind of girl whose beauty lies within and not only on the outside, a girl i can give flowers to randomly and she'll realize how special she is, a girl I can lay on my roof with and look up at the stars and fall asleep on each other. I guess I really just wanna know how to find great girls who want those amazing relationships and I need help find myself a bit.t", "summary": "I really need help in being able to better my relationship and finding myself so I can truly give all of myself to my eventual significant other"} {"id": "t3_2z9q1v", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [18/F] don't know if I should completely cut ties with my [25/F] friend", "post": "Me and my friend Kels have been friends for a couple of years now due to working together. She is very easy to get on with at first and I was putting this down to her just being one of those people however I've come to realise she's one of the most immature people I have ever come across despite having a four-year-old son. \n\nShe has a drama with every single boy she dates and has the tendency to lie quite a lot, e.g. her and her (now ex) boyfriend were fighting the other day so she checked herself in at the airport to get attention. A couple of weeks ago she was asking to go out for drinks on a Saturday night because \"she was going away for four weeks\", I knew this was a lie and said I couldn't make it then asked where she was going and didn't get a reply to the question. \n\nI've personally found myself in the middle of a drama with a different ex-boyfriend as well as being dragged into arguments she has with other people, she spends all her mum's money (she doesn't have a job), and her child is a spoilt brat. I know that's a horrible thing to say about a four-year-old but I'm talking screaming and swearing at people in public, hitting other children because he doesn't interact with any and overall having a horrible attitude. Of course, although I've been present through all of these I feel it's not my place to bring it up.\n\nThe friendship we have exhausts me and has gotten to the point where it bores me because I've heard it all before. I don't like blatant liars and I've just seen too much of it, but a part of me does feel really bad for her and I'm conflicted to whether to stay a friend or just leave it.", "summary": "Friend acts immature and lies all of the time but still feel bad for her, don't know if I should just cut her off or keep being her friend despite being bored of it all."} {"id": "t3_2r66ot", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] found very strange texts on my stepmother's phone from some number [38 F]", "post": "I'm really not sure if this is the right place to post this, and I apologize to the mods if it is not.\n\nMy step mother and father have been living together for around seventeen years now and they are a happy couple. I'll just jump right into it.\n\nMy step mother has been very secretive with phone calls recently. Once, I answered her cell phone to tell the person (Was just a phone number, no ID or contact info) that she would be right there. She ran out from where ever she was and snatched the phone out of my hands and hung up as fast as she could. I didn't really question it. But she is always on our deck alone when my father is taking a shower or watching TV etc. while she does whatever she does on her phone.\n\nToday, I lost my phone in my room somewhere so I borrowed her phone to call it. I accidentally clicked her messages instead of the call button at first, and there was a message from again, just a phone number. I don't remember it exactly, but it had something along the lines of \"hey baby ur so sexy i love u to death\"\n\nI don't really know what to say about it to be honest. I want to approach her about this but I have no idea how to. I've also copied down the phone number to call this mystery person on my own time, but I have no idea how to get them to tell me who they are on the phone. I obviously cannot come out and say that I am her stepson.\n\nAgain, I'm truly sorry if this is the wrong place to put this, but I'm very distraught about this, and any help at all would be extremely welcoming. Thank you so much.", "summary": "Dunno if my stepmom is cheating, strange texts, want to find a way to bring it up to her and find out who this random guy is."} {"id": "t3_226te8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My best friend's [26F] girlfriend [21F] tried to get me [24M] to have sex with her. I told my best friend. I no longer have a best friend.", "post": "Best friend is a lesbian. Her girlfriend is bisexual. \n\nHer girlfriend texted me the other day, and started what appeared to be a casual conversation. It turned real ugly after that. She started going into really explicit detail about \"what she would do to a guy who looked like you,\" verbatim. \n\nI flat out didn't respond to that. Then it got a little creepy. She started telling me that she was touching herself thinking about me, and ended up sending me a, er, picture of it. \n\nI told her that she needs to stop, and that this was really fucking inappropriate, and that I'm her girlfriend's best friend. She said, \"so?\" so I went off and started calling her disgusting, and a piece of shit and things like that. \n\n**ANYWAY**, the conversation ended off with me telling her not to contact me, and that I would be showing my friend the conversation. \n\nI guess I didn't get there fast enough, because my best friend called me crying and screaming. Apparently, her girlfriend sent her a fake conversation between her and I. I get to my friend's house, and try to show her the conversation, but she's not having it. She took a two second look at my phone, said they were fake, and kicked me out.\n\nShe's now blocked me on everything.\n\nI apologize for how quick this story was written in its tone, but that's how quickly it happened. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose my best friend.", "summary": "My friend's girlfriend nuked my friendship. This entire thing is going to end up splitting us all up. Everything is out of control, and now the fucking police is involved."} {"id": "t3_1m6wrw", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Cramped and stressing a few days ahead of a half!", "post": "Hi there, I've been training hard for my second half marathon, thanks to some great tips I've got from here. On Saturday I shaved over a minute off my 5k PB and had a decent longish (9.5 miles) run on the Sunday. All felt good after these. I went to karate training on Monday, and worked hard, and felt a bit of cramp or possibly strain in either my Achilles or calf (not totally sure which), so I eased off. Today (Wednesday) I went out for an easy run, thinking 4 miles, to keep everything moving ahead of Sunday, and after about 1/2 a mile I was in a lot of pain from the same area. It seemed to spread across the front of my shin and all the way through my lower leg. I managed a very slow 3 miles, and it did ease a little, but I'm still feeling it.\n\nSome other factors that might come into it; I didn't manage to eat at all well today, with a hectic day at work, and I know that can affect cramping. \n\nSorry for the wall of text, basically, I hope I can get some advice on how to treat this, to get myself healthy for Sunday. I'm going to hop in a nice hot bath and soak it, then ice it later.", "summary": "Calf/achilles hurting a lot 1/2 a mile in. 1/2 marathon on Sunday. HELP!"} {"id": "t3_132suw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend [20F] wasting time and money in college studying premed and I [22M] hate seeing her going down a track towards failure", "post": "GF: 20F\nMe: 22M\nLength of relationship: 8 months\n\nMy girlfriend is currently studying biology and hoping to pursue a career medicine. I've been through the entire process so I know various paths to get there and what it really takes. I know what schools want, which is good grades, good mcat, clinical experience, etc. The problem is she doesn't seem motivated at all, her grades are not where they need to be, and she would, to put it simply, not get in to ANY medical school. I feel like she is wasting lots of money and four years of her life studying something that she won't ever use and pursuing a career that won't ever happen. (She can do if she really wanted to. I'm NOT saying she isn't capable because she is very smart) She also doesn't have a backup plan. I've done everything I can to help her out (I met her because I was her chemistry tutor). I've bought her a book about the admission process and given her so much support academically, emotionally, etc.. for the entire time I've known her and dated her.\n\nI love and care about her, but she doesn't seem to be receptive whenever I tell her in the nicest way possible that this track won't happen if she continues on the same path. I finally got enough courage the other day to tell her this.\n\nI've already tried talking to about it. I've told her many many times what she needs to do, but talking about it, at least in that way, doesn't seem to work.\n\nQUESTION:\n\nDo I watch the person I love fail and waste time and money, or do I somehow convince her to step it up or change goals?", "summary": "Girlfriend not going to get into med school unless she changes. Have tried to help because I don't want her to fail. What to do?"} {"id": "t3_17xlwe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [22M] moving in July and she [23F] doesn't seem like she wants to keep dating.", "post": "I'm in the military, so I don't really have a say in the move. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months, although we've known each other almost a year. For most of our relationship it's been really good, all rainbows and butterflies. But over the past month, especially the past week, it's gotten a lot more confusing. As we've gotten more serious this move has become a much bigger deal. I see three options, none of which is perfect.\n\n1. She moves with me. It's to Oklahoma though, so not exactly the kind of place she wants to go. Furthermore, getting a job would be really hard for her and she's afraid she would lose her friends and be unable to make new ones. As much as I like this idea I can't be so selfish to demand it, especially when we've only been dating such a short time. \n\n2. We try long distance. I would be about 8 hours away so it wouldn't be impossible to see each other, but still too long for every weekend. She has expressed the opinion that long distance relationships don't work, but that she'd try. I would be ok with this except for how pessimistic she seems about them.\n\n3. We break up in July and go our separate ways. I don't know why I list this as an option. This would suck, especially if we decided it now.\n\nThis past weekend it seems like she's just given up hope on the relationship. Looking for jobs there hasn't gone well and she's expressed a lot of doubts both with going and staying behind. I haven't exactly been a pillar of strength though because there is so much beyond my control and the prospect of losing her is terrifying to me. As of last night she won't say she loves me and seems increasingly distant. It's my guess that she's scared of opening up too much and then getting hurt, so she's closing herself off in preparation for what she thinks is inevitable. \n\nFuck...this sucks. I love her and I want to make it work, I just don't know how anymore...", "summary": "Moving away in about 6 months, girlfriend seems to think it's hopeless and is backing away. I want to make it work."} {"id": "t3_11cg1v", "subreddit": "cats", "title": "I have a pictureless, cat question to ask. 9 Lives cat food (one type) says it is for urniary health? As good as Purina urinary health?", "post": "So my vet suggested I buy my male cats Hill's Science diet or Diamond cat food to avoid kidney stones from happening again and I said I couldn't afford those so he suggested Purina One Urinary Tract Health instead which I have been buying at about $12 a bag. This bag usually lasts around a week or a little more. I *can* afford this but only barely and I recently found that 9 Lives makes a cat food that says it does the same thing. I was wondering if anyone knew if it was any good or not. This food will cost about $10 for a bag that would last through the month.\n\nAlso, I will be happy to post pictures of my cats if anyone wants to see them! :)\n\nNote: I got my cats when I had more money and have had them for years. I don't want to get rid of them just because of money troubles right now. I don't know if posting this makes a difference or not but rehoming them is a laaaaaaaaast resort for me and not what I wanted to talk about today.\n\nIf no one on here had any good suggestions or links I was gonna call the vet but they are always very busy and it would probably take a couple days to not get a busy signal from them. They are about a 30 minute drive from my house and I don't want to put the gas in to drive out there if it's not needed. I thought I would start here and see if anyone knew anything about it or had good suggestions! Thank you!", "summary": "Purina One urinary Tract cat food is spendy and 9 Lives has a cat food that says it does the same thing for less than half the price. Does it? Should I switch?"} {"id": "t3_fajbb", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is one event or action you thought was insignificant, but later realized it changed your life?", "post": "For me, drivers' ed not too long ago. There were only 3 other kids in my class, and 1 never showed up, so that leaves 2 other students just wanting to get a permit and get out. I can't remember the first girl's name, but the second girl - Sarah. I remember her name because I see her everyday. It started with having to go with her on driving practice (because the teacher was male and apparently there had to be another person in the vehicle to prevent rape or something), then eating lunch with her at actual school, and since she sat with all her friends, I was introduced to a new group of people I had only heard the names of, but never met. They are the most funny, smart, and nicest people to be around. I'm so glad that I took drivers' ed when I did. The ironic part is that after drivers' ed one day, I went to a friend's house. After getting to know Sarah and her friends (who became my friends as well), I no longer hang out with that one friend anymore. (I moved on basically, nothing like \"we're no longer friends\" ever happened, we just stopped hanging out.) I told her that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have the friends I have now, and that I'm thankful for her. I don't know if she truly understood the significance.", "summary": "I met a girl in drivers' ed, and from there I met her friends, some of whom became my best friends in the world. (Some of them are redditors!)"} {"id": "t3_4s9sih", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (F/21) friend (M/33) says he is in love with me, the friendship has turned toxic.", "post": "Hi guys. \n\nTo expand on the title, I've known my friend for around a year. We first met when he began working at the same place I did. Initially, he asked me on a date, but I was going through a rough break-up and declined him. He was fine with it, and after that I saw no more indication that he was romantically interested. \n\nFast forward to March this year, he told me one night on a work's night out that he was in love with me. I thought he was drunk, but the next day he confirmed that he really was in love with me. \n\nNow I think he's an awesome guy, but I'm not romantically interested in him. I told him so, and he was upset but asked if we could stay friends. He said he wouldn't let it get between our friendship. I was skeptical but I knew we had to work together, so I said we could stay friends. \n\nHowever things have gone downhill since that day. He gets jealous if I go on a night out, thinking I'll meet guys and get their number. If I don't reply to him for a day or two, he kicks up a fuss, whenever I say I'm going out he asks who with, and often he gets drunk and starts sending me abusive texts. It's made life very awkward for me at work too, because we work together. \n\nLast night was the last straw. He booked a hotel for us without asking my permission, and said he's taking me away for the weekend. I said I didn't think that was a good idea and he should have asked first, he kicked off, got drunk and sent awful messages to me. \n\nI'm wondering, how do I stop this \"friendship\" when I work with him? He's starting to affect my life with his drama. I'm trying to keep it friendly because of work but after last night, I really feel fed up. \nAny suggestions of what to do?", "summary": "Friend at work told me he is in love with me. I didn't feel the same, he has turned abusive and jealous towards me. How do I put a stop to this?"} {"id": "t3_elfuz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I accidentally killed my roommates guinea pig with candy. Advice?", "post": "so one night i'm playing some magic cards and my buddy pulls out some mike and ikes. guinea pig starts squealing like he just pulled out a head of lettuce so, being curious, I offered a mike and ike to the guinea pig. the pig took one look at the mike and ike and ran away, I dropped the single ike into the cage with the intention of seeing if it goes after it. i leave the room\n\nroommate comes home and yells at me for putting the candy in the cage.\n\nnext day the guinea pig crawls under its food tray, lays down, and dies. my roommates tells me \"he nibbled on it\". \n\nI feel 100% responsible for its death, and my roommate hates me for it. This was a good friendship, I was planning on living with her for another year, but now I can't even look her in the eye. \n\nhow can i resolve this reddit? should i buy her a new guinea pig? of course i've apologized profusely... I don't know what else to do.\n\nalso if anyone has any veterinary experience, can a mike and ike really kill a guinea pig?", "summary": "i may have killed a guinea pig with a mike and ike. would really like to salvage my relationship with its owner."} {"id": "t3_134y72", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend[F48] i no longer comfortable with hosting me[F32] and my BF[M28] when we are in town because my BF will be in the apartment without me.", "post": "Ok I have known my friend for 10 years and we are very close.I bring my BF(of 4 years) and child(M2) to town and we plan to spend the weekend. She offers we can spend the night. Great. We are both supposed to go to a party friday with a mutual friend. My BF wants to hang out with his own friends and not go to the party. Next day he will probably be hang over and needs to rest. \n\nShe then asks, \"let me get this straight? Is he gonna be in the apartment without you?\" She feels weird about this. So I told her we find somewhere else to sleep, and I will see her at the party instead. She often sleeps here. I even hold her head while she was sick and she stayed here.\n\nBonus info: she have a BF and he recently moved into her apartment. He is supposedly ok with us staying. Everybody gets along fine other than this hiccup. \n\nAm I so pissed of how she treats me. Am I overreacting?", "summary": "my friend offers we can sleep in her apartment while we are in town. My BF is not allowed alone in the apartment while we stay there"} {"id": "t3_4om0zz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I 29F with my boyfriend 32M of one year, I want an open relationship. I don't know how to ask, and worried about a break up if I do.", "post": "Sorry if this comes off as rambling, I can't get my thoughts straight. \n\nMy boyfriend and I have known each other for over 10 years, we worked at the same company at first then he moved, then I moved. We both were in relationships, an we kinda lost contact. Then for the last two years we've been talking, and officially started dating. Next month is our official one year mark. \n\nI moved to his state to be with him, but his new job has him on the road at all times. He'll be home for a day or less every week. This schedule is hard enough as it is. Not to mention I love him, but his sex drive is very low. He's not home very often but even during his time home the chances of sex is 25%. I'm sure we went a month or two with no sex at all. He's just not providing the closeness that I need.\n\nI don't want a bunch of one night stands, this is honestly all hypothetical. I mean if I could find a guy that I could be FWB with no strings attached that would be great. We'd hang out, go see a movie, have sex, then go our separate ways. I'm just scared that asking him if he'd be open to an open relationship would be the end of us. I've seen it happen before on this sub. How do I even go about asking. If I did ask and he said no, I would completely respect that.", "summary": "I'm interested in an open relationship. I don't know how to start a conversation about it, an I'm worried even the conversation could lead to a break up."} {"id": "t3_4jnq65", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "[MA]Car Insurance company threatening to take me to court", "post": "Back in February I had a few glasses of wine and managed to get into bad enough shape that driving home I flipped and totaled my car. I wasn't charged with an OUI but I went to the hospital (hospital was in RI, no MA) and the medical records show I was over the legal limit. My health insurance had already paid my medical bills and my car insurance already paid for the car. I had opened a medical claim with my car insurance company but since health insurance took care of it I'm trying to cancel that claim. This brings me to today.\n\nMy car insurance company is threatening to take me to court and give me an examination under oath if I don't give them my medical records. I don't think I need to give them my medical records and incriminate myself, do I? They also can't really prove anything else. I'd assume this is a case of them trying to scare or intimidate me into giving up my records after which they could jack up my rates, but I also don't want to take a chance. I also can't really afford a lawyer to talk to about this or to go to court with so any advice is very much appreciated. Thanks in advance.", "summary": "Got in an accident while intoxicated. Medical record prove I was drunk and now my car insurance company is willing to take me to court if I don't give them my medical records."} {"id": "t3_54gmec", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (21F) Ex-Coworker (26F) sent a cruel message- how to not let it stop me", "post": "Hi everyone! Usual disclaimer- long time lurker, first time poster. \n\nI work at a private medical practice, and have been there for a year. My coworker of 6 months recently put in her two weeks notice, and decided to stay for only one week instead (totally fine, her new opportunity started earlier than expected, it happens). We were also friends outside of work- we would occasionally grab drinks, text, etc. She chose to leave the practice because she found a better opportunity with more hours and a better location, and additionally because she and the physicians had different approaches that didn't work well together. I'm not sure if it matters, but I congratulated her and asked about her job and how great it will be for her to get the hours she wanted. \n\nThis sounds very stupid, but the other day we were discussing Vitamin C and its absorption in the body. I learned a cool fact about it in my nutrition class, and messaged her to tell her. I received a very nasty response, telling me that I always have to be right, and essentially that I'm immature, have little work experience, and will fail in my future career as a nurse because I don't relate well with people. \n\nMy issue is that, objectively, this isn't true, and I know that. I work with numerous nurses who have given me glowing recommendations, I form positive relationships with patients, and I work incredibly hard to provide the best care possible and ensure that our patients are informed and up to date in their care. I obviously make mistakes, but I do my best to be kind to everyone and cover for my coworkers when needed (if they need to call out sick, answer questions, whatever). My question is- how do I not let this bother me? I'm obviously insecure about my experience due to my age, so her message really hit home. How do I continue to move forward in a positive, productive way, instead of letting my insecurities get the best of me?", "summary": "coworker sent me a vindictive message to hurt me, it worked. How do I pick myself up and trust my abilities?"} {"id": "t3_4m77i3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [15/F] came out as bisexual to my mother[37/F] and she asked me to agree not to date boys?", "post": "I'm just looking for some opinions on whether this seems normal or reasonable, I've never heard of it happening.\n\nSo basically my mom and I had a conversation the other day where she asked me if I was sexually active and if I needed her to take me to the doctor to get on birth control. \n\nI'm not sexually active yet, just a couple of makeouts, which I told her and I also admitted that it had happened with a guy at my school and also with a girl that I know.\n\nMy mom didn't have a problem with me telling her I was bi, but she said (paraphrasing slightly), \"If you like girls as much as boys, will you do me a favor and just stick to girls at least until you get out of high school? I know it's not fair to try to stop you from being sexually active, but I'd worry so much less if I knew there was no chance of you getting pregnant.\" \n\nI told her I'd think about it, but I want to know is that a weird request from her? At this point I'm not interested in anyone specific and I don't know who I'm going to meet and want to date, so I'm afraid to make any promises, but I also see her point and I'm not really against what she's asking. I'm just not sure if it's a weird thing to be thinking about at all.", "summary": "Came out as bisexual to my mother, she asked me to only date girls so she won't have to worry about me getting pregnant. Is that even okay for her to ask?"} {"id": "t3_4d7sa3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 3 months, she doesn't want to \"lie\" to my religious parents", "post": "Hey so I've been dating someone for a few months. To sum it up, she's a very honest person, and so am I. But to my parents I haven't been completely honest about girls and relationships. They are catholic and go to church nearly every weekend. They do not think someone should be sleeping in the same bed together before marriage and DEFINITELY no sex. \n\nMy parents have never asked me directly if ive had sex or done drugs. And they know I don't go to church. But I do go with them on christmas/easter.\n\nHowever, sometimes I go to visit my parents and bring my girlfriend along. There have been some times where we show up early in the morning and we have to make up a story about how she drove over to my place and then came to my parents' house. We only really have to talk about it if my parents bring it up somehow. Like 'oh son, did you guys eat? did she eat before she came to your place? did you make her breakfast?'. Or late at night 'are you sure you're going to be ok driving her back to her place and then back to yours?' \n\nI'm perfectly okay with fabricating white lies about not sleeping over with my girlfriend and working around it. I think it's private and I don't feel the need to be completely myself around my parents. I've never had a problem and my past girlfriends have always been fine with just telling whatever makes them happy. But my current girlfriend feels really bad about lying and doesn't like that I'm not being honest about my private life with my parents.\n\nShe agreed to 'lie' about it but she didn't really like it and I worry she'll continue to complain about it later. Not really sure what to do. My family's relationship is important to me, and my younger brothers as far as I know are also still religious, and so are a lot of my aunts/uncles and both sides of grandparents. I don't see them all too often, but yeah..", "summary": "Girlfriend doesn't want to play along with made up stories to cover my sexual life and intimacy in relationships to my religious parents. She says it's not honest and doesn't like lying."} {"id": "t3_2hse94", "subreddit": "running", "title": "5K and 10K complete! Help me with my next steps!", "post": "I am a 31 year old male. A little over a year ago, I was completely sedentary, weighed 275 pounds, and was a smoker. In the past year, I have dropped 60 lbs, quit smoking, started working out, ran a 5K in April, and completed my first 10K yesterday. I finished my 5K in April with an 11:37 pace, and my 10K yesterday with an 11:32 pace. The races have gone fine, but I still struggle with breathing occasionally, and needing to walk for short (30 second) intervals to catch my breath. \n\nThings are definitely improving, as I was able to run the first 5K of the race yesterday without walking, and that was not the case in April. My goal now, is to keep adding distance, but I also want to work on getting my pace lower and raising my endurance so I don't need to walk to recover. So that's where my question to you all comes in. What should I do now? Sign up for a longer race, and just keep increasing my distance, or is there something else I can do to increase my endurance and speed? Thanks!", "summary": "Finished a 5K and 10K, pace was 11:30ish for both, looking to increase speed, distance, and endurance (breathing)"} {"id": "t3_3ce0w9", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By having My teacher catch me and my girlfriend half naked.", "post": "So a while ago I posted another TIFU \n\n-\n\nAnd in it I talked about how I got caught with my girlfriend at school, doing something that is probably not acceptable at school. So here is the story.\n\n\u00a0\n\nMy former Girlfriend and I frequently got together after our after school activities, me: fencing and her: Track.\n\n\u00a0\n\nNow both events usually ended around 4:00 pm to 4:30 pm, but my father and her parents usually couldn't pick us up from school until around 5:00.\n\n\u00a0\n\nSo obviously we had some time to kill at school after practice and there is this perfect place to hook up. It is right behind one of the stairwells at our school. There is this small pocket area that nobody ever goes through. There is an exit door at the very end of the stairwell, but nobody ever uses it, or so we thought.\n\n\u00a0\n\nWell one day we were behind the stairwell and us being really stupid decided to take our tops off. So at this point I dont have a shirt on and her bra and shirt are just on the ground. \n\n\u00a0\n\nThen the door to the stairwell opens... both of us paused hoping it would just be someone going up the stairs, but as the steps grew closer and closer to us, we began to realize exactly how fucked we were.\n\n\u00a0\n\nWe scrambled to put our clothes on but it was already too late, not only were we caught, we were caught by a teacher...\n\n\u00a0\n\nThe teacher, absolutely flustered with the situation ran out the exit exclaiming loudly \" You two might not want to think about doing that at school\" To this day I still don't know who that teacher is, though based off some of my senior friends, I might be having someone who fits her description next year. \n\n\u00a0\n\nWe sat there for a moment in disbelieve. not understanding if we actually got away with what we just did. We finished putting our clothes on. looked at each other with embarrassed faces. Then started to laugh before we exchanged our goodbyes and went home for the day. We never talked about it since.", "summary": "MY TEACHER CAUGHT ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND GOING AT IT AND WE DIDN'T GET IN TROUBLE"} {"id": "t3_ufhlh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My dad is being conned out of money by his supposed family overseas but he doesn't see it, how do I help him?", "post": "So basically my family overseas knows that we here are fairly well-off so they see this as opportunity to con my dad out of money. He doesn't think twice about because he argues that they're family (brothers, mother and in-laws) and that you should always help them no matter what. I agree with this notion but the amounts that they ask for and eventually receive is just downright ridiculous, and so are their methods of receiving. \n\n1. my \"grandmother\" pretended to be sick to the point of hospitalization and needed money for steroid treatment. So my dad sends some and she's miraculously okay within a week? - I saw her over a skype convo, she looked fine with no signs of such an extreme illness.\n\n2. my \"uncle\" supposedly had a back injury which debilitated him to the point that he couldn't walk so he needs money for therapy, that's sent and he's okay within a week?\n\n- the reason I don't believe these in the least is because I'm a pre-med student/just graduated and I know how long steroids require to take effect, a week isn't enough. And an injury to the back is like no other injury of the body, it changes the biomechanical aspects of the tissue and back injuries require several months to years to heal/repair.\n\nAnd to boot, this \"uncle\" is actually here visiting (plane ticket also covered by my father), more like shopping for anything and everything he can get and he hasn't spent a dime because of course it's covered by you know who....", "summary": "dad is being conned out of money by family but is blind to it because they're his \"family\", how do I make him see? Also, he's very stubborn"} {"id": "t3_nudw2", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Did I make a mistake in breaking up with my girlfriend?", "post": "I just broke up with my girlfriend of about a year and a half a few days ago. I'm 22, she's 23. She moved in to my apartment about a month ago. Today she moved out.\n\nDuring the christmas break I came to realize that I felt like I needed to be alone for a while. I've felt like this before but it really came out after my mom suggested I think about where my life is going and if I really want to spend my early twenties with a girlfriend who I may or may not end up staying with forever.\n\nSo I decided to break up with her. I figured we're both young and I want to focus on my career and she hasn't been as creative as she used to be when we were both in school. I want her to be as creative as possible. We tried writing together but it just didn't work out. The drive to write/do stuff died down (at least for me) when I have the ability to snuggle or have sex with a girl I love.\n\nSo it's sort of which is better... focus on a career and creative endeavors, or stay together with the girl I love. I tried both at the same time, and it didn't work.\n\nI'm embarrassed because if my mom hadn't spoken to me about it, I wouldn't have broken up with her. If I didn't go home for christmas I wouldn't have broken up with her. If she came home with me to Christmas, I wouldn't have broken up with her. I'm afraid this annoying sequence of events made me want to break up with her. Maybe it would have happened sooner or later though anyways.\n\nShe honestly was my \"favorite\" gf I've had (3 total), and I am afraid I will never meet another like her.\n\nSo my question, do you think this was a mistake to break up with her? I feel as if you're all going to say it wasn't a mistake but I needed to tell someone/the internet, so thanks for reading.\n\nBy the way, this is my first time as the breaker-upper so that may have something to do with it.", "summary": "I'm 22, thought it might be a good idea to break up to pursue my career, now I'm sort of regretting it, was it a mistake to break up?"} {"id": "t3_selq7", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Help/Advice on full and final settlement offer from a car accident (US)", "post": "I apologize in advanced this post is long but I figured the extra information might be helpful....I was in a car accident in November (was rear ended attempting to merge from a highway to freeway). The result was rear body damage to my car as well me going to see a chiropractor and an LMT. The other insurance company is offering me $450 for a full and final settlement offer which absolves them of any responsibility. They got to that number by medical bills sent to them by my insurance company as well as damages to my car. Also, they paid for medical and car damages directly to my insurance company already.\n\nI am on the fence about seeking an attorney for more as I went through the following:\n\n* I was heading to a job interview when the accident occurred (thankfully I was able to call the interviewing company and come in late)\n* After two months of them sending me letters and not returning most phone calls, I went through my own insurance company for repairs and paid the deductible (which I did receive back about a month later)\n* Time lost from work due to seeking medical treatment\n\nI live in Oregon which is where the accident occurred.", "summary": "Car accident rear ended, $450 settlement offer, would like more is it worth time/effort or even possible? Very confused on the legal jargon in settle offer"} {"id": "t3_2f6d4b", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by accruing over 40k in credit card debt.", "post": "Well obviously it didn't just happen overnight. More like a span of 3 years with my SO. He has a budding company which I helped support parts financially through use of my credit and there are some that are just from 'wanting' misc items. All those 0%APRs that coaxed me in finally expired so I've got debt with 18-20% steadily building up. Needless to say we were living beyond our means and now I'm fucked. (Not including my ridiculous amount owed for college). I have never been late on payments and I've had some pretty good credit up til now. Considering refinancing through my bank and hopefully paying these off and getting my beacon score back to normal. I would like to buy a house one day but with how all of this is going it's beginning to look like that may never happen.", "summary": "in debt up to my head, credit is fucked and tbh I regret taking out all those loans for my SO."} {"id": "t3_29evfa", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Wondering if my (24/m) bf (27/m) is bisexual, or gayer than he let on", "post": "Messed up the title, I am a girl! Sorry about that\n\nI've been dating T for over a year now, we met on okc. On the first date, he let me know he was bi. I could tell it was a huge deal for him to confess (his profile showed no indication). I was a little taken aback but ultimately decided to pursue a relationship.\n\nAnd things have been great. Except...I'm starting to think he's gayer than he let on. When I first asked about his attraction to men, he said it was split 70/30. But recently we can't go ANYWHERE without him pointing out sexy guys. He says he feels happy that I accept him for who he is, but at every place we go- restaurant, club, movies, on TV, in the park, he'll constantly point out hot guys. I don't even know how I feel about it. On one hand, yeah these guys are hot, but it also kinda makes me wonder if I'll ever be enough for him. \n\nAlso we were discussing gay celebrities one day and he jokingly mentioned how he was offered a beard in college. That upset me a lot as the last thing a gf wants to hear is how her bf was offered a beard. He said it was only a joke, and he didn't mean to make me uncomfortable. \n\nI love this guy but I don't want to end up with him if it turns out this was all a sham. And I understand that being bi is not just a bridge for eventually coming out, but this whole experience has me feeling weird.", "summary": "BF of over a year told me he was bi, but now believe he's gayer than he first let on."} {"id": "t3_1z2577", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my friend [17F] of 2 years, I moved far away but cant stop thinking about her", "post": "Story starts 2 summers ago working at a summer camp with a tonne of great people. One of these people I had a slight crush on, but didnt act o it because I knew I was leaving at the end of the summer. Fast forward to now, I still am great friends with a few of the people that I worked with there, but all of the people that still chat to me are my guy friends, wexcept this one girl. We talk every few weeks, but Ive developed a really strong crush on her. I really dont want to act on it because right now I live about 15 hours of driving away from her (Winnipeg to Calgary if anyones curious) so I cant go see her anytime soon. In the fall Im moving closer to her by transferring universities; about 6 hours away- but still a long distance relationship which is bad. I know I cant be with her, so how do I stop thinking about her?", "summary": "Girl I met 2 years ago Im still friends with but lives too far away for a relationship and I cant stop thinking about her."} {"id": "t3_2ey1gk", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Is my friend liable for things he did after being \"roofied\"?", "post": "EDIT: This is in Connecticut USA\n\nThis all happened to my friend a couple of days ago, he is seeing a lawyer tomorrow but I am too curious to wait to hear what the lawyer says. My friend woke up beat to hell, bruised, and bloodied in a police cell, with no recollection of anything after being at a party. All this was told to him by the police and friends since he doesn't remember any of it, and then he told me.\n\nA few nights ago my friend went to a college party. According to his friends he had 2-3 drinks before announcing he was gonna go home. This is where it gets bad. Apparently he walked in the opposite direction of his house, and ended up walking through a junk yard where he was spotted by the security guard working. The security guard called the police and didn't confront him himself. Right around the time the police showed up, he fell into a fairly rapid river on the other side of the junk yard where he had to be rescued by police. According to police he was flinging mud at them during the rescue, and being difficult in general. The cops ended up beating the shit out of him (you should see his face) and tasing him. My friend is a TINY guy, like 5'5\" 130, so why the cops couldn't just force him into the back of the car is beyond me, but I guess cops are capable of getting pissed off just like the rest of us and decided to exert their will. \n\nSo basically he wakes up in the cell with no memory of anything, (last thing he remembers is being at the party), and a huge list of charges (trespassing, assault on an officer, resisting arrest). They claimed the mud had pebbles and what not in it and thats why the assault was on there. I put roofied in quotation marks, because I thought roofies normally made you pass out, so I am guessing this may have been some different type of drug. Is he totally fucked? Are there laws protecting people from what they do after being drugged by someone?", "summary": "Friend was drugged and acted like a fool, leading to his arrest. Is he responsible for his behavior after being drugged against his will/knowledge?"} {"id": "t3_vvsfb", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Felt comfortable where I was, and started slipping backwards.", "post": "I started out at 217 in mid February this year, my original goal was 175. Once I started losing weight my goal changed to 160, 3 pounds less than the cross over from \"overweight\" to \"normal\" in BMI. (5'8\"). When I hit low 180s I was so happy with my body, my clothes fit better and everything. I was okay with where I was. I still continue to work out to build muscle and increase my stamina and endurance. \n\nI guess when I changed to a maintenance diet I lost all control. I live in Texas and have had some major heat and humidity combination so I have been eating a lot of ice cream. Along with all sorts of other bad foods for me. \n\nI have only gained back 3 pounds, but as far as I am concerned that is 3 too many pounds in the wrong direction. I have this mental block that I want to be able to eat anything I want as long as its in the right portions. I have researched keto and paleo but I don't want to restrict myself from eating certain foods. I think part of my problem is I don't eat enough protein. I went out last night and bought some pre cooked chicken, greek yogurt, cottage cheese etc so that I can easily add some protein to keep me full. I am also a big fruit eater so I bought some cherries, oranges, cantaloupe, apples to have around as easy snacks. \n\nI am going to stick to it one day at a time, today I am just trying to snack healthy.", "summary": "I started losing weight found a place i was happy with, started to gain again. Now starting over and going to get back on track."} {"id": "t3_1ai0l9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My parents (50+) never initiate communication with me (28F).", "post": "I live in almost the midwest USA, my mother is on the west coast, my father and (former) stepmother are on the east coast, so all communication is dependent on someone picking up the phone and calling. I became pregnant mid January and want to keep it a surprise until I make it through the 1st trimester and then go out and see them. This will happen late May. In order to keep from slipping up and saying something I have stopped calling them (I usually call them once every two weeks). I will pick up when they call me. Stupid- I know- but anything to keep from spilling the beans and still make them not feel neglected.\n\nThis has made me realize they never call me. Ever. My father butt dialed me two weeks ago and that is it. I spoke with him for a little while because we closed on a house. I called my mother once in January. My stepmother never calls me ever btw, but she does comment on facebook occasionally.\n\nIt has been two months and nothing from them. I knew it was a little one sided but what the hell? Do they genuinely not want to talk to me, or do they just not think about me? Father/stepmother have a son (23) that they bitch about never picking up when they call.\n\nI'm thinking when I finally reveal I am pregnant I may have to tell them I wasn't calling because I didn't want to slip up on the phone, but tell them in person. Then I may have to confront the issue that they never call me.\n\nFor the record, east coast family has never made an attempt to physically come and see me. Even when I lived 1.5 hours away. I am now 11 hours away.\n\nShould I be offended by this (I am)? Why don't they want to call me (do they not care)? Should I confront them (how to do this without being a bitch)? Anyone else have this issue?", "summary": "To keep a wonderful secret for a few months I stopped calling my parents, only to realize they never call me. What gives?"} {"id": "t3_4h4474", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] having fallen for a long time friend [17 F] after coming out of a long and unhappy relationship", "post": "So I came out of a long and unhappy relationship several months ago. Throughout my recovery period I had an amazing female friend by my side. I've known here for years and she's done wonders to restore my emotional state after some things that happened in my previous relationship.\n\nAs a result of this, I've come to realise that the person I really loved was sitting on the side line while I spent two years of my life in a horrible mess of a relationship.\n\nNow I desperately want to start a relationship with this girl, but I don't know whether it's a realistic possibility. She shows interest in me, we flirt a bit and perhaps more importantly we're totally comfortable with each other's presence, touch etc. \n\nHowever, I can't tell whether this is just because we're ridiculously close friends who've been through a lot together or because she, like me, actually feels something more. We've been there for each other for years now and I'm torn up about what to do.\n\nThanks for anyone who offers advice. I am more than happy to provide as much additional info as may be required.", "summary": "I have fallen for my best friend after coming out of a horrible relationship, don't know whether to risk it or try push my feelings away."} {"id": "t3_13il96", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I think my SO (20M) is making a mistake with his future and I (22F) don't know how to be supportive", "post": "I have been in a relationship for about a year or so. It is currently LD but I am concerned with my parters choice. His current major in university is psychology which is a field that he is genuinely interested. However he has been feeling pressure to find a field that is more... flashy and money grabbing than research in psychology. This pressure mainly comes from his father who has already called his major and future degree a waste of money.\n\nSo my SO's idea was... law school. A field that he has no real genuine interest in. When I have asked him why he wishes to pursue law school, he says it's primary due to the prestige and money that comes with law school. I have quite a different vision of law school, I imagine large amounts of debt, stressful years of law school, and then miserable 60 hour week at some law firm.\n\nNow, if he was truly interested in law and justice, then I would be all for pursing his dreams! But whenever we talk about it, he says he just wants it to be an decision that sounds like a possible future. It worries me because I want him to be happy but I think that his decision wont make him happy. He complains about all of his current classes all the time and complains about law school. When I expressed my concerns that being a lawyer is not just daisies and millionaires, he shut down and said that it's not what he wants to hear. (To be fair, I did it a bit harsh. I said that I want him to be happy and I don't want him to be complaining all his life about how unhappy he is with his job/school/yaddayadda). \n\nDid I overstep my boundaries with expressing that I don't think law school will make him happy? How can I be supportive of him?", "summary": "SO doesn't have a concrete plan for his life (father is overbearing and overcontrolling) so he picked law school to get prestige and money. I worry that it will make him unhappy since he doesn't like it."} {"id": "t3_3ea6dc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22/F] just started seeing [33/M] two weeks ago. He's a well known lawyer and I'm a selfish ahole...", "post": "I think he's incredible (rare). I'm so excited about this relationship. But I'm also a horrible person. In general, I'm pretty great: I'm a good daughter, good student, great friend, healthy romantic relationship history. \n\nHowever...I may or may not be a camgirl (I totally am). Basically I currently strip online and masturbate while wearing a wig for a living because I'm in college full time. It's so easy and it pays soooooooooooooooooooo well. Hence, why I don't want to quit my job unless he insists on supporting me (which would be super awkward and weird) until I'm finished with school because there is no way in hell I'd ever find a job that pays nearly as much as this at my age. \n\nI think you can see where this is going. I like him too much and I want this relationship to work so I don't want to tell him about my real job...I'd rather keep my fingers crossed and hope that we never work out than tell him. Or just wait until I'm done with school and once I have a legit job I'll mention my past.\n\nWhat would you do if you loved your financial independence but loved a stranger almost as much?", "summary": "Crazy camgirl meets (well respected) man of her dreams and plans on lying to him about her job in porn until they break up or he becomes an atm."} {"id": "t3_2yyjma", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by asking a girl to prom over the school's mic system?", "post": "So I've liked this girl for a while and senior prom is coming up here pretty soon, so I thought what better to do than ask her to prom in what I thought was an awesome way. So today after morning announcements were done, I popped the question. When I went to meet her she was pretty apprehensive and seemed a bit upset. I chalked that up to her being happy somehow and pushed it out of mind. Nice of me right? Well the day went on and I didn't see her for the rest of it, but was told by her best friends that I should take a hint, that they are pissed that I did that, and/or that I had really embarrassed her. Now I'm just sitting here thinking that I done fucked up, and really hurt my crush's feelings. I'm most likely going to apologize and tell her we don't have to go together now. I get to look like an ass and have her hate me for a while.", "summary": "I asked a girl to prom over the school mic, and made her and her friends hate my guts for it, and I probably won't have a date to prom now."} {"id": "t3_2teg63", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M ] with my girlfriend[18F] of 1 year, broke up .Was it a good decision?", "post": "Hello r/relationships. As mentioned in tittle me and my now ex-girlfriend broke up after 1 year of relationship.The problem is here, i love her and i know she loves me but we cant make it work. We are constantly arguing and breaking up or taking breaks. \n She gets frustrated really easy. When we are together everything is fine but when we arent around eachother it is not. The communication is pretty much one sided . I talk she jut confirs says ok,aha,yes etc and other stuff. We had before much better conversation and she was interesting to me but she just isnt anymore.And also we go to class together so what do you suggest?how to deal with that? and is it good to break up for real this time?", "summary": "Broke up with my classmate that I\"ve been dating for one year. How to deal with it in class and how to get over her?"} {"id": "t3_4l632j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [20F] being too keen with this girl [21F] I've been on one date with...?", "post": "This is such a dumb question - I can't ask many people in real life because I know they'd just laugh at me! But I can't figure it out if I'm being too keen, I've been out of the dating game for so long and I'm unexperienced!\n\nOk so I went on a date with this girl a couple of weeks ago. It went well I think, we had lots to talk about, and she kissed me on the cheek when we said goodbye. I texted her a couple days later saying I'd had fun, and she replied saying she did too and that she'd 'love' to see me again, but she was on a family holiday for the next week and then on holiday the week afterwards, so it would have to be after that (so... this week). I text her back like that's cool, general chitchat - and get nothing. ??\n\nSo since it's the week she said she'd be around now - would it be too forward to text her? I sent a couple of texts the last time we spoke which she didn't reply to.... And I was the one who texted her first after the first date... Is this even a thing to think twice about?\n\nI knoooow I'm analysing this way too much. But as I've said I've not got much experience dating girls and I need some mentor to guide me haha. All my female straight friends have said to wait for her to make the first move because it kinda seems like she's not into me that much. But then she coulda just ghosted me after the first date or been like 'no spark, sorry buddy'.\n\nI was thinking my options are: a) wait; b) send a short text like hey let me know if you still wanna meet :) Any words of wisdom?", "summary": "Recently uncloseted overanalysing neurotic crybaby needs advice on how not to be a creep."} {"id": "t3_ghwaj", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "I quit a job that wasn't paying what I deserved, can I get unemployment benefits?", "post": "I am a resident of California and I was wondering if anyone was knowledgeable about the laws regarding unemployment benefits here. I voluntarily quit my job recently because I felt I was being egregiously underpaid for the work I was doing there (I was getting paid more at my part-time catering job than at the other company for doing graphic / web design, marketing, and web analytics). Since I was privy to the profits of the company due to my deep involvement in the analytics I could see the great difference in the money being made from my efforts, and the amount I was being compensated for them. They told me they wanted to increase my workload on a new project that would have been the most profitable venture yet and I told them they needed to pay me more or I could not continue with the company. They refused, and I was wondering, since I voluntarily ended my employment, am I entitled to any compensation? Could I have handled this situation in a different way?", "summary": "Don't ever accept a job that does not pay you what you deserve in the hopes of getting a raise later. You will only get screwed over."} {"id": "t3_4l2j6r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [34 M] doesn't know how to deal with my father[65 M].", "post": "Hi All,\n\nI really don't know where to begin, so I'm sorry if I'm just rambling on. My father and mother migrated to the US from India in 1988. He always had drinks, but usually after work. But ever since he lost his job in 2002 he started to drink a lot (whisky). He even got fired from work once because he came to work drunk. Around 2007, he got a brain seizure because he tried to quit cold turkey. \nAfter he retired (2014), all he does is stay home and drink (beer) but lately for the last few weeks he's back to drinking liquor. His doctor has advised him to stop drinking and smoking as his liver and lungs are in bad shape.\n\nI really think he has some sort of depression issue and I don't know how to address it or deal with it. No one can talk to him about his drinking problem. He thinks everyone is against him and he doesn't want to hear anyone's advise, because he thinks everyone is trying to ruin his life. He also has a habit of being abusive to my mother both physically and verbally. He blames everything on either my mother or my sister and I. He keeps telling us that we didn't live up to his expectations and we let him down.\n\nEveryone in my family has asked him to get some help, but he refuses. He's planning on going to India in July for three months and I don't think he's coming back alive. In India there is no one to control him and anyone to watch over him. Last year when he was in India, he was admitted to the hospital for about 20 days because he was drunk all day everyday and once he starts drinking he refuses to eat any sort of food. I'm planning on visiting him in July before he goes to India and I feel like this might be the last time I see him alive.", "summary": "My father has drinking problem and I think he also has depression. Don't know how to deal with him. Might not be alive much longer."} {"id": "t3_4qu94i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Can't convince my girlfriend that not eating isn't the right thing to do to lose weight. I need help, I'm desperate.", "post": "I'm am 18 year old Male and my 18 year old girlfriend of 1 year and 3 months is overweight and wants to stop eating to lose weight, and she can't take it off her mind and that that is the right thing to do because nothing she ever tried before worked. \n\nIn reality, what she has tried before works, the problem is that she can't keep up with it. She says she just wants to be \"normal\" and enjoy a \"normal life\" like other people, eating what she wants and not be fat, and that that is unfair for her. Then, she falls into a hole of self pitty and guilt and demotivation, and stops making progress like she has done before and always ignore. She used to go to appointments at a nutricionist, and that doctor kept track of her weight month after month, after giving my girlfriend a list of what is most recommend for her to eat during breakfast, lunch and dinner (basicly, things that give her enough energy to go through the day and make her lose weight. It's about calory intake). \n\nShe keeps saying things to me like \"I'm such a piece of s***, I should just die to end my suffering. Maybe if I stopped eating I wouldn't be such a whale, nobody wants to look at me\" and it breaks my heart so much to listen to such things, I just want to grab her and shake her to make her head stop telling her those things, but I know that will only make it worse, and I don't know what else I can do. Please help me.", "summary": "Basicly what the title says. Gf wants to stop eating to lose weight, can't convince her that is wrong and for her to keep her diet plan that was actually working."} {"id": "t3_3aivwh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 2 years, never wants to spend money on activities we can do together, but is totally willing to spend money on activities with friends.", "post": "I know this may seem petty and small (which it may be) but it bothers me and is affecting our relationship, and I don't know how to handle it since we've already talked about it.\n\nWe go to college together but live in different cities. We are currently living at college together. Whenever I come up with something fun to do, if it costs money or is a far drive he has zero interest in participating in it, ultimately taking away a lot of date options for us. Recently I've been saying we should go back to they city im from and explore downtown since there's a lot of things I know would be fun that he would love (baseball games, science museum, fantastic restaurants etc) but since it's a 2 hour drive for the weekend and most of that costs money he doesn't want to. So we end up sitting down at college doing nothing (there's not much of anything to do in our town)\n\nAlso I feel like I should mention, since we're in college and on a college kid budget, very very rarely, id say maaaaybe 1 out of 10 times we do anything does he pay for both of us. I don't feel it's fair for the guy to have to pay everytime, especially in college on a budget so we always pay separate and im 100% okay with that, I actually like it more. \n\nHowever, my problem is that when his friends ask him to do something like that he's all excited and down for it. For example, he's going to a baseball game today and casino and a beer and wine tasting, IN MY HOMETOWN. knowing I can't go today. \n\nI've voiced my concerns before and told him it's very frustrating to me, and why it's frustrating but that apparently hasn't done any good. I'm not sure what else I can do.", "summary": "boyfriend never wants to do things I plan when they cost money or involve driving very far, but when friends plan it he always tags along."} {"id": "t3_4nasnw", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[infidelity] me [26] them [25] military and fraud", "post": "Me [26] recently found out someone in the military cheated on their wife with another married service member in 2014. His wife left him shortly after. Their divorce was finalized last week may 2016. I've learned he had still received the dependent pay and the basic housing allowance for having a dependent and he did not report their physical separation to his command. I feel he has committed a lot of wrongs and some illegal wrongs. That's fraud. There is proof in their divorce decree when they legally separated 7/20/2014. Can I report this fraud? Whom do I contact to report it to? \n\nI find it distasteful a service member behaved in this manner but committing money fraud? And he's even said to me he could get into trouble for still receiving these benefits. What should I do?", "summary": "service member committed adultery and didn't report separation properly and has received dependent benefits. Who do I report this to? What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_dua83", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I seem to be paranoid of every company I can start a career with. I think this is preventing me from performing an adequate job search. How can I confidently move forward in my decision making?", "post": "Hello Reddit, I seem to be at a crossroads in my life, and I feel overwhelmed with the innumerable number of career/life decisions in front of me. I'm approaching 25, with a completed masters degree in CS/Economics earlier this year. I have remained stagnant in my hometown over the past several months, with a part time research job of ambiguous sustainability. \n\nI've lived here all my life. I attended k-12, undergrad, and grad here. All of my family and friends live here. I have a flexible schedule, and plenty of time for leisure. I am comfortable, but I feel my current situation is stunting my growth as an individual.\n\nThe most common next step for me is the business world, though I feel repulsed by the majority of what I have heard about it. I read of corruption, of cut-throat tactics, of ambiguous ethics, and poor working conditions. I hear older relatives bemoan their jobs ritualistically. I'm often told to \"enjoy my free time now, because it won't last.\" \n\nI feel stuck, and I feel paranoid. I don't want generate profit for a company that may end up using that money to lobby more of my rights away (go USA). I want to work with a company that ultimately is providing some positive contribution to humanity, and with individuals who love their job. I want a job that won't consume all of my free time (I often hear of inexperienced salaried employees being coaxed into working 60+ hour weeks). Such opportunities look few and far between, and every company I look at feels like a step in the wrong direction. \n\nOn top of all of this, my job may take me away from all that I have grown up with, my social life included. How am I supposed to be able to commit to such a substantial change in my life, all the while feeling like I am willingly stepping into danger?", "summary": "I don't trust the business world, but I need to continue onward with my life and work. How do I confidently move forward?"} {"id": "t3_jk7b1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Okay, Reddit. Very Serious Question regarding bees. I've got a small nest near my living room window, and bee stings = likely death. Wat do?", "post": "I have a SEVERE bee allergy, and despite my near constant vigilance, I have a small nest outside of my living room window.\n\nI have a can of Raid and a can of Black Flag, but since I don't have health insurance right now, poor aim, and lack of an Epi-Pen due to said lack of insurance, I'd rather not take on the Bee Menace without ensuring that I'm not going to end up in the ER or die.\n\nI don't know what kind of bees they are and frankly, I don't care. I just want them GONE since bees can kill me. I'd like to NOT hire an exterminator, but if I have to, I will.", "summary": "I have a potentially fatal allergy to bees and even with vigilance they've made a nest outside my window, wat do?"} {"id": "t3_xsx71", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What are the weirdest/best/most hilarious stories you have from class? For Example...", "post": "I was in a Comm. class and we were discussing a theory about how the way society views you, and how you will internalize those said things and it can become a part of how you see yourself. My professor asked around the class for examples from our lives, where we have seen this happen. This big black guy in the back (and yes this is valid in part of explaining the story) raised his hand and began to explain how he was leaving a house party at three in the morning. Mind you my campus is surrounded by some pretty sketchy area's. He noticed these two \"white emo skinny looking dudes\" in front of him that he didn't know, and noticed they looked back and started to walk a little faster. He thought to himself, \"oh shit, there is someone sketchy as fuck behind us\" so he began to walk faster. He then noticed the white guys starting to sprint, \"Now this scared me, so I didn't even wanna see the thugs that were behind me so I started to sprint... and I mean I'm a big dude so eventually I started to slow down, and was like shit I better see what I'm gonna be up against... As I turn my head and sweat is dripping down my face I look back...there was no one there. I was the thug, and I was running away from myself.\"", "summary": "big black guy left house party at 3 a.m thought two white guys infront of him were running from a scary dude behind all of them... He ran away from his self."} {"id": "t3_3fuwgj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 5 months, am not physically attracted.", "post": "I have been dating someone for the last 5 months. He is sweet and gentle and kind and is the most respectful person I have ever been with. I could easily see how I could marry a man like this \u2013 the option isn't something I am truly considering yet, just a descriptor \u2013 and would love to spend the rest of my life with a person like him. \n\nHowever, I've begun to notice that while I am no less happy emotionally, I don't think I'm really all that physically attracted to him. It would be a different story if it were his body that I did not respond to (have previous experience with this), but it's his face that I, in all honesty, am not happy with. If I could change it without hurting his feelings, I probably would. \n\nIt isn't something that I would ever leave him for, and I am happy emotionally with the relationship and have never felt this comfortable with someone before. However, I feel like it is starting to strain our sexual relationship as well and what should I do about it?", "summary": "Dating a lovely and kind man who I would love to share many more days with, but am not really physically attracted to him. What do I do and am I a scumbag?"} {"id": "t3_142l7z", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what's the worst way you've been cock-blocked? NSFW", "post": "Alright, no one really knows this because I'm so ashamed to tell the story of it; but here goes. \n\n When I was 14, I had a 16 year old girl come over to hang out with me. We were actually really good friends and I didn't intend on anything to happen. Going on, we were in my basement talking about random stuff that's been going on, but then we decided to go into my room to watch a movie (I have a flat screen at the end of my bed). \n\nAt this time, my 14 year old tendencies are kicking up and my hormones are starting to cause me to think with my other head. We get into watching the movie and we're laying down on our stomachs facing the screen. We start getting into the movie and she starts complaining how she's cold, so I put my arm around her and got close. The proceeds to me rubbing her back, hand in shirt, hand in pants etc. etc. I'm having a grand old time because this was the first time I'd done anything like this.\n\nSo it progresses and I move my hand in her shirt and around to the opposite side and grab her boob. She glances over at me and makes a little smirk and kisses me on the lips. NOW, be aware that I had never kissed a girl until this point. I was stunned. I just looked back at her with a stunned face; she leans in and takes a couple more smooches like she wanted to start making out... I didn't move, or kiss back. I just sat there not knowing what to do. \n\nShe kind of got the idea after the second time that I had no idea what I'm doing and she stopped trying. However, I still tried. She wasn't too fond of me feeling her up after I straight-faced her. She pulled my hand out, switched positions and laid down on her back under the covers, and I just sat there. We finished watching the movie, her parents came and picked her up and she went home.\n\nI haven't talked to her since.\n\n*So close..", "summary": "I cock blocked the shit out of my 14-year-old self by straight facing a girl who tried to make out with me."} {"id": "t3_fyp4r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Finding the girl I'm dating and I have different tastes in... everything. And it makes her feel inferior sometimes...", "post": "I, 22 y/o male, she, 21 y/o female. Been going out for 5 weeks now, my first 'real' relationship. Disclaimer, I will over-react to any and everything, probably doing so right now, but I want to sound it out with y'all anyways.\n\nI'm sure this has happened to everybody at some point in time, but I'm realizing that this girl that I'm dating likes different music (she: Five Finger Death Punch, Hinder, Jason Aldean, Nickelback, he: Death Cab for Cutie, Jenny Lewis, Counting Crows, Miles Davis) fashion (she: Christian Audigier/Ed Hardy, he: usually business casual, polo and khakis, etc) movies (she: most goofy Adam Sandler movies, he: classic comedies, Airplane!, Young Frankenstein)...\n\nWe do have some common interests, and I treasure it when we discover something we both like (True Blood, Bullet For My Valentine, fine writing utensils) but I sometimes wonder if it's too few and far-between.\n\nI'm quite willing to be flexible and open to new things, as is she. We've played movies and music for each other.\n\nHer view on things is that I'm \"too smart\" for her, sometimes. I do my best to convince her that I'm not, that our differences are good. She's uncomfortable with some vocabulary that I use, \"big words\", and that I'm in a 4 year college, while she's in community college, etc.\n\nAm I on the right track?", "summary": "I'm geeky/hipster-ish, she's kind of a country girl. She feels inferior sometimes, and I'm trying my best to convince her that she's my dream girl."} {"id": "t3_kunm1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Should I tell my mom?", "post": "So I talked to my mom today and with my extraordinary social skills I deduced that was upset. When I asked her about it, she said that I seemed to be withdrawing from her for the last couple of months.\n\nA couple months ago, after years of struggling, I finally came to the conclusion that there was no god. This was after constantly trying to find reasons to continue believing and finding more and more reasons not to. I have to say that the movie \"Letting Go of God\" was the largest influence in that decision, since I was able to relate with almost all of it. Afterwards, I wanted to tell my parents because my mom has always been about honesty. She is also extremely religious. She has told me she would never question god for any reason and believes everything can be solved by prayer.\n\nSo, feeling conflicted about telling her I asked other family, all my friends, and complete strangers and I did not get a single person who told me it was a good idea to tell my mom about my change in faith. Most of them felt (especially family) that it would hurt her way too much. I feel like this change in my beliefs has been causing me to withdraw from her, but I'm not sure I can do anything about it. In her life, everything is about god. Is it possible for me to be a part of her life when mine has nothing to do with god? Should I tell her, especially after she has said she wants to clear the air and be honest about anything that might be causing me to withdraw from her so we can get past it, but knowing it would hurt her tremendously? Is it possible to get past this?\n\nI would post this to r/atheism, but I want religious views as well.", "summary": "If your kid was withdrawing from you, would you want to know they were going to hell so you two might get closer again?"} {"id": "t3_309rrz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25/M] with my GF [23] been together 2 months, she has Borderline Personality disorder, and i need advice.", "post": "Ok reddit, i need help. Im not sure who else to turn to, I have have asked my Friends for advice but they don't fully understand my situation.\n\nA little backstory from me, didn't loose my virginity until i was 23, always been a little awkward around girls. I have had 2 girlfriends so far, my first last year, went about 3 months, then i ended it because i didn't see it going anywhere. Then i met my current girlfriend on OKCUpid about 3 months ago, been officially a couple for about 2 of those.\n\nAbout a month ago, she told me she has Borderline personality disorder, and told me to do research on and figure out if this is something i can get involved in. I told her i wanted to be with her, despite everything. We get along really well, have same interests, have similar goals in life. But there was always one thing lacking in her eyes, and that was sex, now don't get me wrong, the sex we have is great, i get her off a lot. shes just into a lot of stuff i'm not, like having sex with multiple people. and she said she doesn't think she can be with me anymore if we don't start looking into a poly relationship. \n\nShe says she loves me all the time and wants a long term relationship with me, but i'm not sure Morally if i can do that. The thought of her sleeping with someone else is heartbreaking, but also the idea of loosing her is even worse. I feel like no matter what option i choose im fucked. We talked a few hours last night about the possibility of being open like that, and i'm trying my best to adapt but it is hard. Im trying to understand her thought process in all this but its hard to grasp this whole situation. I told her last night i need a day or 2 to think things over and i'm gonna let her know my decision Tomorrow night.\n\nAny advice you guys can give me? There is a lot more i can write up about this situation but i didn't feel like writing a novel, so any any questions let me know. Thanks.", "summary": "new girlfriend of 2 months has borderline personality disorder and wants to have poly relationship and idk if i can be open to that but i dont want to loose her. please read whole post though, its complicated."} {"id": "t3_qbzbn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Having trust issues with my girlfriend....", "post": "We are teens been going out for just under a year. So yeah we are 'young and dumb' but I have recently started discovering the dark past of my girlfriend. She acted innocent and loving to me. But wasn't really that atal. So I discoverd the foundations of what we have are essentialy a lie.\n\nWe were single and taking things slow and I would only want after her, she said the same thing and I 100% belived it! Though I recently discoverd that she was some what... Well... Completely diffrent. Asking for shags and genrally flirting with every one including my best mate. The exact words were 'lets get drunk and horny' \n\nWhen I discoverd this I asked her about these convosations and metings, she bluntly denied them insisting she was the girl I fell inlove with but has since, over time admited-denied-admitted-denied these stores whilst changing vital parts every time.", "summary": "basically discoverd the girl I love was, not so long ago a completely diffrent person and has lied about everything in her past. I love her, and see a future. But this has made trust an issue for me."} {"id": "t3_uasrt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the most MacGyver-like trick that's gotten you out of a tight situation?", "post": "So over this week, my parents wanted me to stay at their house to watch their dogs while they're out of town. During my stay, I went into the bathroom to take a shower, but once I finished, I approached the door and tried to open it, only to find the handle wasn't getting the latch to retract. Now matter how much I jostled or jerked the handle, it wouldn't open. I peeked along the side of the door, only to find the latch was facing outward of the bathroom, meaning I couldn't use a thin object to force the latch to retract. Furthermore, there wasn't any sort of lock to the door knob; it was a cheap and lockless, something my stepmother had installed a while back just to last until she sold the house.\n\nSo now I was left with a conundrum. I could either attempt to shove my weight against the door to break it (which is kind of difficult, considering it's a pretty thick door), wait six hours for my siblings to get home, which would have made me miss an exam, or try everything to break out of the room. After tearing up the bathroom, I ended up with a pair of scissors and two nail clippers as tools. I used the sharp tip of the nail file on the clippers to unscrew both of the knob's screws, then wedged off the doorknob, leaving (what I assume is) the latch assembly and the latch itself, which were firmly locked in place. I used the scissors as a lever to pry off the outer layer of metal on the latch assembly, then used the tips of the scissors to manually tug the metal strip attached to the latch to pull open. All in all, it took me about an hour, and I made my test on time.\n\nIt got me curious about what sorts of tricks people have used to get out of tight spots. Anyone have any good examples they'd like to share?", "summary": "I broke past a jammed bathroom door with scissors and a pair of nail clippers, now I want to know what other MacGyver-like tricks people have used."} {"id": "t3_4n318w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24M] gf [24F] is visiting an ex [24M] that she considers just a friend", "post": "I met this amazing girl a 2 months back and things have never been better. She also has this friend, I'll call Matt, who she used to date a couple years ago in college. She was going through some tough times and became super close with his family, and her and Matt ended up breaking up but still staying close.\n\nRecently she went out of state to visit him for a few days, then see his family for the rest of the trip. The whole trip was set up before we met, and she's mentioned many times about him just being like a brother now. I have no issue with her being friends with him, or even visiting. Matt has roommates and she's sleeping in his room on the floor on an air mattress. She sends me snaps of her helping him with physical therapy and he's shirtless. I just don't want to see that. Again, I 100% trust her, and believe her when she says it's platonic, but it still makes me uncomfortable. How do I talk to her about this and express my feelings without coming off as a jealous boyfriend-type?", "summary": "gf is spending time with an ex that she assures me is just like a brother. I want to be okay with it, how can I?"} {"id": "t3_3q0a2z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Can i stop lying about my nervousness? ,,22M", "post": "I am a 22 yo man who always feel i have to hide my nervousness because I have dealt very badly with it and I have let myself hate people and things as in \"the world is unfair and you all suck\" when i was just letting myself go . I am realising that and cleaning up after my mess.\n\nNow I have random hate, prejudices, nervous anticipations and fears that pop-up whenever they feel like it, i tainted my soul so many times that it hants me.\n\nI deal with these issues:\n\nI cant look people in the eyes sometimes because i fear they can see what i m thinking and i wouldnt want anybody to be scared of me by discovering all the hate i ve created in the past\n\nI am very private when it comes to my nervousness so i hide that i think so hard, that i m super sensible to noises, that i overanalyse over nothing(i try dismissing it everytime)\n\nAm i actually a better person(meaning that i do right things now) or just a bad person trying to be a good guy but who s really just an asshole? -> if that was clear to me that i was doing the right thing, i guess i wouldnt doubt myself so much.\n\nHow can i stop feeling like a liar? I m tired of always lying to people about who i am, it takes a lot of energy and i give off the impression that i am hiding something so i ve heard a few times\n\nAnd at the same time, should I really let people know that i have a very black person inside of me that nervously and unfairly bash talk anc critisize everything and everyone, and that i spent a lot of times trying to control and reasonate?\n\nEven though my thinking is not that terrible and i value respect and see lots of potential in people, i have judged and overreacted to things so many times in my young life that i cant help but feel hopeless sometimes.\n\nIt's also all very personal obviously i never shared that with close friends but i dont like putting my poker face on everytime i start being nervous.\n\nAll i know is that it feels great to go forward \n\nSo having your feedback could help me make sens out of this", "summary": "I nervously judge things in a random manner but it doesnt feel like me. Am i nevrotic or just plain bad?"} {"id": "t3_2zgy0f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my GF [19 F] of 1.5-2 years. I don't think I love her anymore, or ever even did.", "post": "We started this relationship by cheating. I was in a FWB relationship and she was in an abusive/controlling one. We messed around for months before I managed to get her safely away from him. \n\nI have never felt such a strong initial attraction to someone. I thought it must be love. Fast foward 1.5 years. We're living together with a kid. She's passive aggressive and doesn't communicate well. I work full time to support us and then get passively bitched at when I want to come home and relax.\n\nI've been feeling like this for a couple months now. Realizing that our roaring flame is now little more than a spark. Honestly, I would've left already if I could. \n\nProblems are:\n\n1. She's very attached and doesn't take loss well.\n\n2. Her mother is controlling and I would probably lose the right to see my son.\n\n3. I don't want to leave her to support him on her own. \n\nLast night a series of events took place. I went to my friend Trouble's place for some whiskey. Well after about an hour we start making out. 10 mins in she comments that this is a bad idea but she doesn't care. Niether of us are drunk enough to not be aware of the situation. We don't end up sleeping together. Lots of kissing and talking.\n\nWe talk about how I don't love my gf anymore and how we would've ended up together if we wouldn't have messed up our shot a few years earlier. Eventually I go home and we agreed that once we left the to things went on as if last night never happened. \n\nWhat the hell should I do? And how would you recommend ending it with my gf?", "summary": "Fell out of love with my GF/Mother of my child. Realizing I care about her but don't wish to be with her. What the hell should I do? And how would you recommend ending it with my gf?"} {"id": "t3_3pv9vb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [31m] lied to girlfriend [31f] about sexual past, what to do?", "post": "Alright, so a little context, we had been seeing each other not quite a month at this point.\n\nDuring a drunken game of \"never have i ever\" the question of how many sexual partners have you had; somehow came up. I was the first to go and was nervous to say my real number (which is around 20), so I said 5 not to sound like I slept around a lot. Then she said 3. Hoping this would blow over or not really count since it was in a drunken game I just left it. \n\nBut now she still remembers that I said 5 and keeps coming back to it, and says she wants to know more about my exes and what my past is like. I think she knows that it isn't the truth because she says I am real difficult about my sexual past, and feels that I should open up about it more for our relationship to move forward. I feel guilty about it and feel like I should come clean.\n\nHowever, something that makes me feel otherwise...she let me know that there is a guy that she feels strongly about. She doesn't know him personally, but from a distance (in a stalker sort of way). Anyway, she said if given the opportunity she would sleep with him, and never tell me about it. I kind of objected and said that being it happened during our relationship or would possibly happen during that she is obligated to tell me about it, she assured me she would take it to the grave if she ever slept with him.\n\nNow, I know two wrongs don't make a right, but to some extent I feel that I'm not obligated to tell her about my past if she's not going to tell me if she sleeps with this guy.\n\nMy question is, should I tell her about my past and go from there or should we possibly just move on? Seems to me that we both have trust issues with each other, maybe this is something we could work through?", "summary": "I lied to her, she says she would lie to me in the future. Trust issues. Should we move on or work on them?"} {"id": "t3_1xpach", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Update: I [24M] am terrified of getting naked in front of this new girl [23F] that I am seeing", "post": "Original thread: \n\nBasically I told her I was a virgin and she seemed okay with it and said we could take it slow or whatever. I don't really want to take it slow, I just want to have a normal adult relationship.\n\nThen I actually got the courage to be naked around her, but my dick didn't work. We tried for like 5 days but nope, nothing. We would still mess and I genuinely tried to just ignore what was happening with me and focus on her but after a couple of days I could tell it was starting to get to her.\n\nAnd she's been pulling the fade now and I've got the feeling it's already over so I've just stopped making contact. I just hope she doesn't tell anyone I know that I'm a virgin, or have a small dick that doesn't even work, or that I'm a complete failure at adult relationships in general. She probably deserved way better anyways though.\n\nI don't really know where to go from here. She came onto me so it isn't like I'm just gonna meet someone new, I've been trying for fuck knows how long with zero success. I'm really tired of being alone and it makes me sad. At least I'm no longer a 23 year old virgin, I'm now a 24 year old virgin.", "summary": "Told her I was a virgin, my dick didn't work, she pulled the fade, I don't know where to go from here."} {"id": "t3_2maps9", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "22/m and drinking with my 21/f SO", "post": "OK so we've been dating for about 2 years but ever since about 6 months in I've noticed any time she drinks she gets unreasonably mad at me. She tells me to leave get away from her and has even insulted me. And I don't do anything to trigger it. For example her birthday party. We had a bunch of her friends over and we're all on the couch drinking and hanging out when she gets up goes to the hall and starts crying. I go to ask what's wrong and she tells me to get away from her. No explanation has been given for that. There have been about 4 other instances but the latest happened at a party we threw about a month ago. I was outside with my friends and she was inside with her friends when I heard that someone was throwing up and needed help. I immediately left my friends to go find the person and found my SO helping her best friend. I saw they were trying to move her to the bathroom so I tried to pick her up and my SO said just go to which I responded I'm trying to help. She said like you have been all night just fuck off. So I left. I don't want to be treated like shit when I'm trying to help. She always apologizes but I'm frustrated and don't know if there is an underlying issue.", "summary": "SO gets drunk and mad at me often. She always apologizes but it's beginning to worry me that there is an underlying issue she has with me she's not talking about."} {"id": "t3_2sqy15", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "I have a question about direct deposit", "post": "I don't know if this is the right place to post it, please let me know where i can post this if this is the wrong place.\n\nSo I just got a new job and set up my direct deposit.\n\nMy account number and routing number are correct...but I sent it to my saving account instead of my checkings account. \n\nThe account number I gave is for the checkings.\n\nI was supposed to get paid 2 days ago. The money was taken from my employers account and gone......who knows where.\n\nHas anybody gone through this? I called the bank and they couldn't give me an answer. So I don't know if it's going to still go through (even though the money was already distributed), or it's going to reject. \n\nI'm okay with not being paid right now because I did check the wrong box....but.....where the heck is the money lol.", "summary": "Entered correct account and routing number for my checkings account for direct deposit. Sent it to savings account on accident. Money is out of employers bank and now in my account and idk where the money is."} {"id": "t3_2ozzzd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] with my SO [24F] of 4 years, she said she \"isn't sure\" if I've cheated or not.", "post": "Quick back story. My girlfriend made a friend [21F] last year that I quickly became friends with as well. I started to become better friends with her than she was. After a few months, GF becomes concerned/paranoid/insecure that there is something between us since we became close friends and talk a lot. I assure her that we're only friends, but it doesn't help and many arguments manifest. She wants me to cut contact with her which puts me in an awkward situation. Eventually she silently cuts contact with said friend, which makes my relationship with her awkward since she doesn't understand what is going on with my GF. Over time we become more distant and our relationship becomes chatting once or twice a month. It's been that way for a few months now, and things have been normal with my GF.\n\nRecently I was staying the night with my girlfriend. We were just talking in bed when we came to the topic of cheating. I don't remember the exact details of the conversation, but it wasn't anything serious, just lighthearted talk and not specifically about us. At one point she said something that made me ask her, \"Do you think I've cheated on you?\" She replied with only, \"Well, I can't really say no for sure.\" This made me upset, and although she tried assuring me that she \"trusted me\", she didn't seem to understand why it upset me.\n\nSure, no one knows 100% whether or not their partner has cheated on them. But, if you don't have a strong reason to believe that they have, I think the answer should be no. Her not being totally confident that I have not cheated really upsets me. I don't feel trusted. It's obviously due to the events from my back story. I never gave her a reason to think I cheated other than the fact that I simply had a friend that was female. It makes me kind of angry that she would say this after things have seemed good and normal for a while now. Is it reasonable for me to feel this way? How should I proceed from here?", "summary": "My girlfriend told me she isn't sure that I haven't cheated on her. It's because of concerns she had about a friendship I had with a girl in the recent past. I'm upset and don't feel trusted by her."} {"id": "t3_17pyg4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [25F] BF [26] just received the most painful, disappointing news thus far in his hopeful career, just a day after I received some of the most exciting news about mine. How can I be there to support him?", "post": "My bf of 7 months and I currently live together. I just received news on Tuesday of this week that I got into my #1 pick for grad school. He received news yesterday that he DID NOT get into any schools. He has, obviously and understandably, become very beside himself, quiet, and solemn. I want so badly to take it all away and do anything and everything I possibly could to take away the disappointment and lack of confidence he now has. But at the same time I don't want to suffocate him with \"I'm so sorry, baby\". Has anyone been in a situation where your SO failed at something so important? How did you help them out? What are some things you recommend I do to encourage him to try again and be confident?", "summary": "BF didn't get into any programs. I did. He's depressed and I'm excited. How do we level this out? How can I help him? Similar stories, suggestions or advice are appreciated!"} {"id": "t3_3vgq2d", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by speaking with a fake accent at the worst possible time.", "post": "Yes, literally today. I was going in for an interview for basically my dream job. I was extremely nervous... Like voice a little shaky nervous.\n\nNow a little background, when I hang out with my girlfriend I commonly use stupid, silly, fake accents when I talk to her because it makes her laugh. I do it so much that sometimes I'll have an entire conversation in my southern (USA) accent or Indian accent. It almost became a habit for talking with her like that... \n\nSo the HR girl, Marie, comes out as I'm waiting and says \"Hey there _____! So glad you could come in today! etc etc\" and reaches out for a handshake. I go \"yeah I'm real excited to be here too, thanks for bringin' me in\" or something like that.....\n\nIn a real heavy, molasses sounding southern accent.\n\nThen I just fucking panicked. What do I do? My brain shut down. I followed Marie into the interview room making small talk. At this point there was no going back. I gave the entire interview in that goddamn accent without exception. And, it actually went pretty well.\n\nSo if I get the call..........\n\nNot really sure what to do.", "summary": "used a southern accent out of pure nervousness to answer my interviewers first question, couldn't make a joke out of it and therefore used it for the entire interview."} {"id": "t3_2ajyua", "subreddit": "Pets", "title": "Need some advice on a possible adoption.. (x-post /r/dogs)", "post": "Hey there! In about a month my parents and I might be taking in one of our neighbors dogs (A German Shepherd). As long as I've known them they've kept him confined to a cage (inside) 24/7, besides taking him for walks. They say they do this because he's very territorial and marks everything. I don't know if they're telling the truth, but what's the best way to end this habit if he continues it in his new home? Also, we have 4 cats. My mom and I love them dearly, and my mom is worried that they'll run away if we bring the dog in. Any help would be appreciated, thanks in advance!", "summary": "Possibly taking in a dog that is territorial and marks everything in the house, is there a way to prevent this? Also, my mom is worried that our cats will run away."} {"id": "t3_3xowxp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My crush ignores only me!", "post": "So me and my friends met a girl that is in our friend group but we had never met before a few weeks ago. It was the first time meeting her for all of us and I instantly grew a crush on her. I told my friends that I liked her and that we should get to know her better. So we all sent her a follow request on instagram and she accepted the other two guys within an hour but not mine, it took her over a week to accept mine which I thought was kinda weird because she would have seen all 3 and purposely not accepted mine. Then also she likes all the things they post but not mine.\n\nThen the second case was last Friday night we went to the beach with a bunch of people and I talked to her and her friends for a while and she seemed to be enjoying it. Then the next day I sent them all a group text saying it was nice hanging out with them and that we should hang out again some other time. Both of her friends replied almost instantly saying that it was fun and that they would like to hang out again. But she never replied which I also thought was weird.\n\nI feel like she is ignoring me or she doesn't like me and I have no idea why, because I have given her no reason to not like me. I feel like she is doing it on purpose because if I got a text from someone I knew, I know I would reply even if I didn't like the person. And if I got friend requests from people I just met I would either accept all of them or none.\n\nI have no idea what to make of this, I want to think that she likes me and is shy but I doubt it. Does anyone know what it could be?", "summary": "a girl i met a few weeks ago seems to be ignoring only me for no reason and I need help figuring out why."} {"id": "t3_49a7yf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I [23M] respond when my friend [22F] tells me that she dumped her abusive scumbag boyfriend?", "post": "We had feelings for each other in the past but she moved away for a while and that ended. Then she moved back with her boyfriend who she has been dating for almost 3 years. He's a dbag druggie who doesn't make her a priority in his life. He always left her out of his plans and even left her out places but she never found the idea of breaking up with him compelling until now even with the pressure of her friends. I even think he might have been cheating on her. \n\nAnyway we see each other weekly and have a mutual best friend who told me that she wanted to take a break. Our friend supposedly talked her in to straight up dumping him (finally) and I am 99.9% going to get the news from her when I see her this week. What do I say?\n\n\"On one hand I'm sorry to hear, but you definitely deserve to be treated better\"\n\n\"Good, he was a scumbag. you deserve better anyway\"\n\netc.\n\nI have no clue", "summary": "Heard through the grapevine that my friend dumped her scumbag boyfriend and don't know what to say when she finally tells me the news"} {"id": "t3_1n8iw1", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "My ex just told me why he dumped me and I'm furious", "post": "We were together for about a year and a half and it was pretty amazing, I thought. We're both 25 and we were so close. We had our own language, our own jokes, we knew each other inside out, shared the same values, passions and interests. The sex was amazing. \n\nHe has depression and I'd make making him feel ok/supported my priority. I would go out of my way to give him a hug on days he felt down and I was too busy to see him properly. I took days off work when he was sick. I would cancel seeing friends if he wanted to see me. I would spend ages talking to him when he felt sad. I'd endure dates where he was too down to be pleasant with a smile. \n\nRecently I'd been facing issues of my own. My brother had become violently angry, endangering mine and my family's lives more than once. I confided in him, but when I could sense it was dragging him down, I offered to stop talking to him about it but he said it was no problem and he wanted me to talk to him about it. \n\nUp until the day he dumped me, he said he couldn't imagine life without me. He had asked for my ring size. We talked about marriage. I'm from a Muslim family but am not Muslim. However I love my family and don't want to cause disappointment, so I can't live with someone before marriage. He knew this and said I was worth it. He wanted to. I told my parents about him which is something that was hard for me to do. Throughout it all he said he was ok with it. I kept giving him opportunities to back out. He refused to take them. \n\nHe told me his depression was getting worse. He said it wasn't because of my issues. We said we'd work through his depression together. He dumped me 3 weeks ago and only yesterday did he say actually it was because of all my issues. He didn't want to be there for me anymore. It was too much.", "summary": "if you're someone's emotional support in a relationship don't you dare ever go through a bad patch of your own. Otherwise you're useless."} {"id": "t3_1rwcpi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (22F) with my boyfriend (22M) - broke up, getting back together, need advice", "post": "Boyfriend and I dated for about 7 years and he broke up with me two months ago. He said he needed to find himself outside of our relationship and see what's out there for him.\n\nThe last two months have been awful for me and I finally decided that I need to move on whether I want to or not, then he asked to meet/talk and said he wants to try being in a relationship with me again.\n\nI want to be with him, but I'm afraid that getting back together will be awkward or weird. We spent the past two months with very limited contact, so I'm not sure how we can be normal again? How do I work this out? How do I go back into the relationship?", "summary": "Boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me for 2 months, wants to get back together; I'm afraid getting back together will be awkward/weird."} {"id": "t3_26rx2z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My SO[17F] said she lost her romantic feelings for me [17M]", "post": "Since summer has been approaching, we have had a difficult time seeing each other. Her schedule is filled to the brim with studying, repairing family problems and being with friends, while I have lots of free time, so she could been pestered about me trying to be with her. She's usually too tired, don't wanna make reservations because she feels like she wont fulfill them and so on. \n\nThe last month got really bad. the intimate contact between us were dwindling to the point of not even kissing, which was yesterday. I met with her yesterday and talked things out, our frustrations and hers. the problems we've been facing, the stress. The fact that she lost her romantic feelings for me, while I still retain them to some degree.\n\nI claim that its because of all the stress lately, we haven't been on our best side when we meet each other then and it can cause problems. She felt like it would be pointless trying, because it would feel like torture for the both of us trying to restore those feelings.\n\nHowever, we did meet a compromise. I said we should have a friendship phase where we meet eachother as friends instead of trying to restore the relationship at a top notch quality honeymoon phrase. Basically build it up instead, and see if she feels anything. She was skeptical at first, but then said it was a good idea. Right now I'm really just scared of what is going to happen.", "summary": "SO lost romantic touch with me, we compromised with meeting up like friends and doing stuff together, to see if she feels anything. I am however, unsure what will happen."} {"id": "t3_2iuxxp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "WWYD: not wanting to overreact, but he's MIA", "post": "WWYD?\n\nBackstory: We've been dating for about six months, things are great, we STN with each other 3-5 nights a week. We (the boy (35/m) and I(28f)) typically spend Thursdays apart from each other .We don't talk all day like we usually do, and just sort of do our own thing.\n\nThat being said, I haven't heard from him in twenty four hours, and have tried to call him twice with the phone ringing to voicemail (4p yesterday, 8a this morning). I sent him a \"hey are you alive?\" email about an hour ago, but I'm honestly starting to worry.\n\nI don't want to be irritating or annoying or clingy, so I'm trying not to freak out and call until he picks up, but I'm just...ugh. I'm worried. WWYD?", "summary": "boyfriend of six months is more or less MIA for 24 hours without checking in, which is very unusual. WWYD?"} {"id": "t3_1vzql6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[23/F] Moved in too soon with boyfriend [24/M] questioning the relationship now...", "post": "Basically my boyfriend and I rushed into living together and now all our relationship issues are magnified by the fact that we see each other everyday for a good chunk of the day. I feel like I live with a teenage boy, he's a slob, never cleans or offers to help with any housework. I do everything unless I make him do something which he always complains about and wants to be rewarded for. In his free time, which is a lot because he barely works right now, he mainly plays video games or looks at porn. We had serious talk recently about how I don't feel emotionally close with him, he's very distant with his feelings and this distance has become overwhelming now that we're rushing through the motions of our relationship. \n\nPheewww that's a mouthful, anyways I'm wondering if anyone has gone through a similar situation and been able to work through issues like these. Really it's the emotional distance and lack of initiative on his part that bothers me. None of these issues alone is a deal breaker, I know I'm not perfect either but I just don't think we should be getting so serious if we don't both feel 100% about the relationship. He really wants to stay together, I'm planning on moving out when the lease is up and don't know whether I will want to stay together at that point. Any advice is appreciated, this is a throwaway so I may not be be on it frequently.", "summary": "Rushed into living with BF, he's a terrible roomate and it's making me feel like he's a bad boyfriend. Should we try to work it out?"} {"id": "t3_1ou45o", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22/M] with my GF [22/F] of 8 months, are having communication issues.", "post": "So here's some back-story. We have known each other for about 2 years before we started dating and have been together for a decent amount of time I wouldn't call it very long, but, i do really love this girl. We were not \"officially\" dating for quite some time i would say we have been \"seeing each other\" for 9 or 10 months. I'm not going to lie we have had a rocky start I was distant due to our history, I've been distant and she has been nothing but loving. She has had a few white lies here and there but nothing to really make me end it. I just got pretty upset and she did what she could and we were fine. \n\nAlright, as of now I have been deployed for 5 months with the military and for the first 4 months i was an ass. I was stressed with work, throwing it at her pushing her away when i should have noticed how much she actually tried. She finally hit her breaking point recently (3 weeks ago) with the stress of things at home and with her and I just adding to it. Honestly it was a 180 kick in the face for me. Since that day i have done nothing but try to talk to her as much as possible, but, it always seemed like i was a chore or she didn't want to deal with it. I blame myself for all of that, she did nothing. \n\nNow though we have begun to patch things up but it seems I'm still that chore. Almost as if we have swapped places (She is the one pushing and I'm the one holding on) i know much time has not passed but it seems it has turned into a \"pissing game\". I just want to move the relationship forward but i need her for that as well. I'm just not getting any reciprocity. Maybe she doesn't want to move forward or she is too stressed idk. She is still here she still talks im just not getting through to improve it.", "summary": "Had a rough start, on deployment pushed her away, now i cant get through to her to improve the relationship its a stalemate in a way, with me throwing dud grenades."} {"id": "t3_2ar1x0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I, 18F, have been seeing 35M for about 2 months now, and it's been great, but I don't know where to go from here.", "post": "We met the week before I left for 5 weeks, and spent hours together pretty much every day before I left. We've talked constantly since I've been away, and I get home on Sunday. \n\nWe started out wanting something casual, but after the first time we were together, it became pretty clear that wasn't an option. The feelings are there, the sex is great, he's really good to me, but it feels like there can't be a future. \n\nWe've established that we both really care about one another, and we want to spend as much time together as possible, but I don't know where this is going. I'm going to college across the country in the fall, and I won't be home until Thanksgiving. \n\nThe age difference is an obvious issue, but I'm mature for my age and very independent. He still acts like he's in his twenties, so that hasn't been a problem. I've never been attracted to guys my own age, and I have been so happy since we started seeing each other. \n\nI definitely don't want to stop seeing him, but it feels strange carrying on knowing that I'm leaving in a month. He said that he can come visit, but \nI don't think I want to keep up a long distance thing while I'm starting out somewhere new. \n\nThoughts?", "summary": "I, 18F, am seeing a wonderful 35M, but I'm leaving for college across the country in the fall, and I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_1dbuwu", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Fourth semester, still failing.", "post": "So I am in my fourth semester of college. And every semester I have failed at least one class. I have taken calculus four times as of now, and I'm failing it again, along with two other courses...\nI said I was going to get my shit together and do better this semester but it seems I'm doing the worst...and I can't admit that to any of my family.\n\nI'm working part time at school, making incredible friends, and enjoying my time so much, but I just can't seem to sit down and study. I feel like I've been going through so much change, just emotionally, and making new friends, maturing, working my first job...that I've lost focus on school entirely. Sad part is, is that I'd be perfectly content just working at this job full-time for the foreseeable future...\n\nJust needed to rant. Thanks for reading.", "summary": "I've taken calculus four times and am failing it again, along with other courses, I've tried to improve, but am doing worse, but I am happy with myself and life."} {"id": "t3_24tguv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22/M] have been chastised by my Father [65/M] for not flying down to Panama to See him. He's leaving in a few weeks for a trip to Europe.", "post": "Hello /r/relationships\n\nSo, backstory to explain the situation more.\n\nI'm currently enlisted in the Military and have a top secret security clearance. My father retired down in Panama (The Country, not the city in Florida). This makes it VERY difficult to leave the country due to entering paperwork, going through training and explaining my reasoning to my superior officers.\n\nMy father constantly tells me that I should be putting more effort into seeing him, despite the difficulty for me.\n\nHe's made several trips to the US to visit friends and familiy NOT in my area, as well as for work, but has made only 1 attempt to come see me in Virginia and I had warned him that there was a chance I would be out to sea during that time frame. Turns out, I would be out to sea during that time frame.\n\nWell, he just recently announced to me that he is now taking a trip to Europe. He said he had been saving for it for a while now (I've never even heard of this being mentioned before).\n\nI'm completely at a loss on how to react to all of this, but I'm rather upset that he couldn't bother saving that money to see me now that I am in a situation where I will not be out to sea for quite some time due to my ship being drydocked.", "summary": "Father critisizes me for not seeing him in a foreign country when its hard for me to visit, but goes off to a trip in Europe."} {"id": "t3_1ov9dm", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Mom[42] always thought I[16M] was innocent until reading texts between me and my friend[16M]", "post": "Ever since I lost my phone, I've been using my iPod to talk with my friends. Me and my friend were talking about usual stuff guys talk about (sex, gfs, school) on iMessages one day and I see my moms iPad ring as though she got a notification from iMessages.\n\nI dont think much of it until an hour later when i realize my mom doesn't even use iMessages. Then I also remember that my mom's iPad is synced with my account. Which also means she probably saw all the messages me and my friend were sending each other for the past couple hours. UH OH!\n\nSo I make up an excuse to use her iPad (It was a legit excuse so she wasn't suspicious), turns out she put a passcode on it. I act as though I don know why she locked it, and take the iPad away. Then I delete all the messages we sent each other (I was hoping the messages wouldn't be there, but I'm never lucky).\n\nIm pretty sure she read the messages, because she is acting really weird towards me. she's also barely talking to me, and has this morbid expression on her face. Looks kind of distant.\nI really don't know what to do. Please help Reddit!", "summary": "mom saw messages between friend and me about sex, girlfriends. Always thought I was innocent. turns out I'm not and she is acting distant now."} {"id": "t3_4gac5z", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Ex-girlfriend(17/F) Wants Me(18/M) Back After Having Sex with Another Man(18/M).", "post": "So my girlfriend and I broke up after being in a relationship after a year and a month because we never saw eye-to-eye on anything.\n\n It was more one-sided with me breaking up with her because I became increasingly unhappy.\n\nAfter a week we got back together but it only lasted for two weeks afterwards because there was no change.\n\n But I eventually grew obsessed with trying to get her back because I only broke up with her the second time because she stood me up twice on two dates.\n\nFlash forward four months later she suddenly wants me back.\n\n After sitting down and talking we ended up making out and having sex. She eventually tells me the bad news:\n\nShe has had meaningless sex twice with one of her co-workers.\n\n She said it mean't nothing to her but it happened twice.\n\nI didn't have sex with anyone except her and we lost our virginitys to each other so when she had sex with someone else it came to a massive shock.\n\nI don't know if I want to take her back, I'm so conflicted because I still love her but knowing that she had sex with someone else twice really makes me rethink what I want.\n\nI feel as if I have meaningless sex with someone else I might forgive her, but that's just immature to do.", "summary": "My year long girlfriend slept with someone after two months twice and I haven't had sex with anyone else but her, we lost our virginity to each other."} {"id": "t3_i1oq0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Just looking for suggestions on what drugs to use and which to avoid", "post": "First, a little insight into my life. I've always been a good kid, never received a B in a class, I take advanced classes in high school, I'm a great people person, and for too long I've focused on just sports and school. I've been in the process of cutting loose recently and enjoying life so I've been asking friends and friends of friends what they would suggest in terms of drugs to use (not habitually) just to have a good time. In the midst of all of these posts about meth usage I came to thinking, \"why not ask reddit what drugs i should use!\" I know, drugs are bad and you shouldn't do them but I'm going to anyway so here is my question to you. What drugs or hallucinogens have you used that make for an amazing experience. I've heard acid can be a life changing experience so something along those lines would be awesome.", "summary": "I want a relatively safe drug that will give me and a couple friends a strong high or hallucinogenic effect, mainly for creative/intellectual reasons."} {"id": "t3_sfkmj", "subreddit": "Parenting", "title": "Child exposed to family friends drug use; how do I handle the situation?", "post": "Wall of text sorry.\n\nOur main social circle revolves around my husbands mates, they spent their 20's together stoned. Then they all grew up; there is never pot around the group anymore except when one friend who now lives in a remote town comes to visit (about 4 times a year), let's call him Bob. \n\nOn Friday Bob was in town with his wife and kids (3&6). The boys went to the pub for lunch and carried in to a mutual friends place afterwards. 'The girls' spent the afternoon together with the kids at another friends place. Come about 6pm kids are worn out so we go over to collect husbands then go home. When I get there I go in with baby and say hello to everyone; Bob's kids sit near by coloring (within view of the group, but not paging us any attention). I'm holding baby talking to the group and right there he pulls out a baggie and starts rolling a joint. I shoot him evils but don't say anything, I'm expecting him to just roll it then head outside, our baby is too young to know what's going on and I just don't know what to say. But then he pulls out a lighter and goes to light up, I quickly start to walk away the host scolds him and sends him out in the yard before he lights it. We leave shortly after.\n\nKnowing Bob we're likely to have similar situations arise again throughout our babies childhood. There is no way I'll ever let her be exposed to smoke, that's a given. My main issue is that I don't even want her to see the 'smoking paraphanalia' or see him rolling; my concern is that she will grow up thinking that drug use is normal and something that some adults just do. Bob obviously doesn't think it's a problem as his own kids were right there when it happened. I really wanted to say something to Bob about it, but husband is very non-confrontational and thinks we should just quietly remove baby from the situation if/when it ever happens again.\n\nJust for the record, I have never been a pot smoker but I don't have an issue with friends doing it; just not around my kids.", "summary": "family friend thinks it's ok to roll a joint where kids can see. I don't want my child exposed to this behavior but don't know what to do about it."} {"id": "t3_nfmru", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Can someone explain Pirate Bay to me?", "post": "I'm not trolling for emotional reactions here...I'm sure that I simply don't see something that's obvious to everyone else, but no one I've asked so far has been able to explain it to me.\n\nI don't understand Pirate Bay. I mean, I get torrenting and downloading movies and music and why people do it. What I don't understand is the extreme animosity people have, like using bittorrent is a middle finger against \"the man\" and downloading a movie makes you some sort of liberal freedom fighter...the idea that Pirate Bay is some sort of mecca for intellectual freedom. I mean, you downloaded a movie, you didn't cure cancer.\n\nI can't understand it as anything other than a sense of entitlement. I mean, we aren't talking about life saving medication here. Or clean water. Or the right to vote. Or anything else that really should be a basic human right that you get just because you were born. We're talking about movies and music. Entertainment. Why do we get to be entitled to on demand movies without payment? Why is that a basic human right?\n\nI'm referring specifically to the Pirate Bay legal files - letters sent to them by companies like Dreamworks, requesting their copyrighted works be removed from the site. I completely understand not removing them. Pirate Bay is based in Sweden, US copyright law doesn't apply. What I don't understand is the vengeful, hatefilled rhetoric, such as \"It is the opinion of us and our lawyers that you are ....... morons, and\nthat you should please go sodomize yourself with retractable batons. Go fuck yourself.\" and \"Instead of simply recommending that you sodomize yourself with a retractable baton, let me recommend a specific model - the ASP 21\". The previous lawyers tried to use a cheaper brand, but it broke during the\naction.\" The person who wrote these letters was hailed as a liberal hero.\n\nWhy?", "summary": "Why is The Pirate Bay revered, applauded, and defended with the same kind of deference that was once reserved for civil rights leaders?"} {"id": "t3_4i8pvq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [26F] partner [33M] gets black out drunk a quarter of the time he drinks and likes to play fight", "post": "My [26F] partner [33M] gets black out drunk sometimes, and he likes to play fight. He is unable to respond to reason in this state, and has bit my hand leaving teeth marks, slapped me (not bruisingly hard, but not tapping) and ignores me when I say stop. \n\nI have told him that I no longer feel completely safe around him when he's drinking. He defends his behavior (though he can't remember it), and says I encourage it. So I've stopped all play fighting, even when sober, and he is upset about that, and feels like I've placed too many rules on our relationship.\n\nHe is very calm and controlled in every other aspect of his life (quite the perfectionist), very intellectual and reserved.\n\nWhen is the breaking point? I don't worry that he'll really hurt me, but feeling unsafe or at very least, unease, isn't much fun. Should I just get over it and take little hits? He thinks I am making much too big of a deal about this.\n\nTo be clear, I don't want to leave! I moved across the world for this awesome man.\n\nHe hasn't offered any compromise or interest in not drinking. He is Czech, living in Prague, if that matters, since drinking is so engrained in the culture.", "summary": "My bf drinks (blacks-out) and play hits a small amount of the time, what should I do?"} {"id": "t3_oqnzc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Letting down a friend", "post": "Me: 19. Her: 18. Both of us are college freshman and we've known each other since the beginning of last semester. We hang out most days in a group of five (4 girls including her and myself).\n\nOver the past few months I've been picking up on a few things that lead me to believe that she likes me, and I fear it may be reaching a critical point at which it will need to be confronted. The most recent signs have been things that mutual friends have said (most telling is \"You know she loves you\").\n\nThing is, I see her as a friend only, with no romantic attractions at all. So what I'm looking for is a way to let her down softly when the time comes without having to jeopardize our friendship.", "summary": "Friends with girl whom I friendzoned but it seems she likes me. Need advice on how to let her down when the time comes."} {"id": "t3_2b5ief", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me (21F) losing sense of self in relationship with my (20F) bipolar gf", "post": "She is my best friend but I've lost all friends outside of her and our friend group has melded to a few people. She wants me to do everything with her from grocery shopping to every minute of my free time. She is also very suspicious and jealous. Example: Our male friend flirts with both of us and after we hang out wiyh him she'll be upset for hours thathe flirted with me.I love her but can't confront her or tell her how I really feel most of the time because she loves confrontation and I am deeply effected by it--I have depression/dysthymia and mild aspergers and am incredibly sensitive. \n\nWe just signed a lease to live in the same apartment for a year (this time with separate rooms) and I'm concerned. She needs constant noise and stimulation and as the more introverted one, I need silence. My center of focus in the environment is politeness towards others and not imposing on them, hers is making herself comfortable and disregarding the feelings of others. This manifests as her forcing me into PDA at inappropriate times, me cleaning up after her, apologizing for her, and generally catering to her needs while she disregards mine (loud music, bright lights, constant motion). \n\nAlso, this is my first relationship.\nI love her but need advice.", "summary": "My girlfriend is bipolar, dominating, way more extroverted, and generally gives less fucks than me (depressed, overly polite). How can I be happy in this relationship? "} {"id": "t3_4u7cta", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (18M) don't know if I should ask out this girl I met(17M)", "post": "I know what your thinking \"oh fuck this guy sounds like a pussy just from the title \" but hear me out, I met this hella cool and attractive girl at my work, got her number, and I could tell she likes me(sound amazing right?) buuuuuut I'm going to college in less than a month. I think she's hella chill and I would love a relationship wit her but I don't would not want a long distance relationship plus I wanna experience college single and have fun without any restrictions. I have the balls to ask her out but I think I have the brains not to do it so I'm stuck in the middle. Anything helps", "summary": "Met super cool girl, she liked me/I like her, but I'm going to University in less than a month and she's not going wit me, Should I ask her out?"} {"id": "t3_13crsy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend (f22) spending more time with excoworker than me (m25)", "post": "I (m25) have been with my girlfriend (f22) for 2 years. Lately, I've just been noticing for the past 2 months that she's been going out with a male excoworker. He's been picking her up from work when she told me not to pick her up. I've kind of taken the back seat. We've been having a few arguments lately so I've kind of stayed away from being confrontional. He's been calling and texting her while we are together to \"hangout\". But tonight I've learned that he is taking her to a mutal friends party rather than taking me. Her excuse was \"She invited me and not you\". I'm just really starting to get an uneasy feeling about all this.", "summary": "girlfriend (f22) spending a lot of more time with excoworker than me, her boyfriend (m25)"} {"id": "t3_11thqo", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My boss won't pay me. What should I do?", "post": "This last summer I worked at a hot dog restaurant owned by a sorry excuse for a business man. I was paid 7 dollars an hour, under the table, and didn't get any kind of tax deductions. The way the payment system was set up is that you write your hours down on a time card and come payment time you sign off on these time cards (which we called checks) and are given cash. These checks are withheld for a month before you start receiving payment and you get paid weekly. I gave a two weeks notice three weeks before leaving to go to college in hopes that I would receive all my payment; however by the time I left there were still two checks left unpaid. I took a picture of these two checks/time-cards before I left and I was promised that I would be payed whenever I came back from college. This weekend I came back and asked for my money but my boss's coke-head nephew, who is also in charge of paying employees, had allegedly \"misplaced\" my checks. Of course I couldn't speak with his nephew because he was in the hospital getting reconstructive facial surgery after, what I assume was, some kind of vehicular accident caused by the impairment of whatever particular drug he had been on at that point (I assume this because it had already happened twice before). So I'm convinced that my boss is trying to fuck me over and not pay me the $134.00 that he owes me especially considering that when I went to see all my paid checks (that are kept stored away in the back for all former employees) mine happened to be the only one's missing. What should I do?", "summary": "My former boss is playing dumb and telling me that he had lost the time cards for my last two weeks of pay. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2hvz7n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I saw my [26 M] ex [25 F] at the bar with my new GF [24 F]", "post": "EDIT: Saw my Ex, while I was with my new gf. Clarification\n\nWe broke up in June. It wasn't easy for me. I didn't feel like I got enough closure and she just dropped off the face of the earth. \n\nWell I've been dating this new girl called T for a month or so and shes great, tall, blonde, sweet, gorgeous, looks like Blake Lively sp?. I know that in most situations this would be great, my ex saw me with a gorgeous girl and I looked happy.\n\nBut I dont feel good about it, I dont feel like I won something. I feel bad because I still care a lot about her (the ex) and I wish we were still friends. Should I just continue the no contact, or should I reach out and see if she wants coffee sometime? I already broke the no contact, I sent her a small email that just said \"You look good\". No reply.", "summary": "Saw my ex-gf at the bar, while I was with my new gf. Brought up some feelings."} {"id": "t3_34o873", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of three years, loves getting attention from other guys", "post": "Within the last two years or so, my girlfriend has been receiving more attention from guys than normal. (We both lived in small communities before moving to the same city to go to university.)\n\nSince arriving at university, she's grabbed the attention of numerous guys. I am her first boyfriend, she's my second girlfriend. We've had a bit of a rocky relationship but not between the two of us but rather external factors making it extremely difficult but that's another story.\n\nShe makes it clear to these guys that she is taken and never shows any sort of interest in any of them. I have noticed that she doesn't ever flat out reject them unless the situation absolutely calls for it. It isn't exactly leading them on because she does make it clear she doesn't see them in an intimate light whatsoever but she never dismisses them outright until it starts to get creepy. I've read text messages and conversations (which was encouraged by her) to prove her innocence.\n\nThere is the undeniable fact that she tells me frequently that she loves the attention. She told me she loves me dearly and would never cheat on me in a million years. I believe her but it still bothers me deep down that she seemingly craves this attention when I feel like this relationship is more than enough for me.\n\nWhat do I do?", "summary": "Girlfriend loves getting attention from guys. She isn't interested and she makes it clear she's taken. I know she's loyal but deep down it bugs me. Should I just drop it or what?"} {"id": "t3_1y2y9a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [20/M] got my [F/19] something for valentines day and she doesn't appreciate it?", "post": "Okay, so my girlfriend of 2 years want some of the naked makeup which cost a pretty penny, considering I don't have a job (waiting to ship for the Air Force) anyways. She's been wanting it for awhile and I got it for her for valentines day along with a ton of other stuff. She lives with her sister (total bitch). So when she opened it I told her I want her to have it, I don't want her sister stealing it and using it, so keep it hidden or something, she said 'of course'.\n\nNext day We're sitting on her bed talking, and the makeup is out. Her sister walks in grabs the makeup and says she's going I use it and needs the brush. I give my girlfriend that look like \"you need to do something\"\n\nShe doesnt, sister takes makeup and uses it. I'm pissed, don't really know if I should be, but it cost me a lot and I feel like he didn't even care.\n\nShould I be mad, yes I talked to her about it and she just said next time she'll say something (won't happen, I know)... I really feel like maybe I'm jut wasting time/money on her but I really do love her and care for her.", "summary": "girlfriend said she wanted the expensive makeup more than anything, she let's her sister use it. Should I be mad?"} {"id": "t3_1ceqph", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[16/m] The girl I have feelings for [16/f] suffers from depression and anxiety, please help!", "post": "So as you can clearly see, this is some young love. Of course, nothing serious, not planning to grow up and get married and have kids or anything, but I do have feelings for this girl and definitely want some kind of relationship with her. However, this is pretty hard to do right now.\n\nHere's a little back-story: I met her last year and we started to flirt a little, and got into that pre-dating phase for a little while (about 2 weeks) and then she became much too clingy (eg. any time I wasn't with her I was avoiding her) and I ended up making some excuse and taking off. We ended up talking again a few months later, with things not working out a second time (I forget the reason behind this) which ultimately ended with me giving up again. Now recently, she came back and we started to talk again, which leads us to the present...\n\nSo lets call her L. L has depression problems (cuts to relieve pain, on thighs and upper arms, so no serious damage though I still worry intensely about it) and has low self-esteem with anxiety issues added on top of that. Now, I want to help her with this, and I want to be there for her, but it seems to me like there is just too much going on in her life right now to hold down a relationship on top of it. (I told her this sentence pretty much exactly as typed)\n\nI have told her that when *we* get some of her problems sorted out and dealt with, that I'd be glad to have a relationship, but she seems to be hell-bent on all or nothing. At the moment, since I've said this to her, it's the nothing option, but when I see her we always stare, and I'd give anything to know what she's thinking...\n\n**Basically (", "summary": "): Girl has anxiety/self-esteem/depression issues and I'm worried that it's too much for either of us, stay or go?"} {"id": "t3_21s184", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (m/24) gets mad when I (f/24) get protective over him when a regular of ours aggressivley hits on him.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for about three months, although weve known each other for 10 years. We both work in the same bar, everyone knows were together, unless theyre new customers. We dont make it obvious by any means to help with tips and we try to keep personal and business separate, obviously. We do have a very healthy, out of the table about everything, non jealous relationship. However, two of our regluars met at the bar and started dating. Were friends with them, we play pool with them, but the girl has made it very obvious she has eyes for my boyfriend. She gets super excited to see him, screams about how much she \"loves\" him and always wants him to play pool. its been kind of a standing joke between us, I give him shit about her having a crush on him and he tells me how much better at pool she is than me. Well, this week her boyfriend dumped her and like clockwork shes back in the bar to play pool and hit on my boyfriend, only this time, she extremely aggressive about it. She might as well rip off her clothes and ask him to fuck her on the pool table, cause its obvius thats what shes thinking. \n\nIts gotten to the point where it's really upsetting me. She hosts over him, hands around by him and stands directly behind him staring him down while they play pool, or he plays pool with other people. And because of my position, I cant say a damn thing and I just have to sit by and watch it all go down. Mind you, my boyfriend does everything in his power to avoid the situation. But he gets mad at me when I get upset about her and bitch about it. I dont know what to do!", "summary": "one of my regulars hits on my boyfriend, because of my positing I can't say anything and don't know how to handle the situation."} {"id": "t3_2kcssd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16/M] have fallen for a girl [17/F] that told me she likes me a week ago, but is hesitant now.", "post": "So i've been in love with this girl for almost a year, and we hang out often. Like daily. She has known i've liked her for a long time, and at one point this spring i was told she liked me, but she stopped liking me because i became too clingy, which i don't necessarily dispute. I tried texting her but she was never interested. But last friday she told me to my face that she liked me, despite complications with the fact that another one of our mutual friends [F/16] liked me (but i did not like her). This was at a school retreat and in a great setting for us to get to know each other, but after she told me and I confirmed I liked her, things got a little bit awkward, we didn't really talk the day after, but we slowly started talking again all week, and i thought things were going great, until today.\n\n Today \"mutual friend\" told me that \"girl\" didn't like me any more, and despite conflict of interest, i believe her, I doubt she would lie to me. I asked another friend what was happening, and she told me that \"girl\" still liked me, just was hesitant because she's never been in a relationship ( I haven't either). Im going to see \"girl\" tomorrow for a fair bit of time, and i don't know what to do. I am embarrassed and mad and rather wouldn't talk to her because i feel betrayed, and most of all i really just wish things were like they were last week. Do you think i can win her back? I am stubbornly refusing to give up because i have liked her for so long, thinking maybe i should try to talk to her tomorrow just to see whats up, whats true and not.", "summary": "liked a girl, told me she liked me, now(1 week later) has (debatably) decided she doesn't like me, but i don't want to give up."} {"id": "t3_1i0p4w", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "So I [20F] snooped. I know I shouldn't have...but I really need some outside perspective on what I found", "post": "Been together 8 months, he is 24m, and we are long distance most of the time (a couple hours away). So last weekend I was drunk and while we were at a party, I took his phone, telling him I needed to call someone because mine was dead. In reality, I read his texts with his ex-gf who he claims is now his best (platonic?) friend. It was a string of texts from her (with no response). Some I remember: how she can't do this anymore, about how she must actually be a problem because I deleted her on facebook, and how she feels like he has been waiting for her to say something. Now, this didn't make me too upset since he didn't respond, but it didn't seem entirely platonic.\n\nFast forward to now...I still haven't had a chance to talk to him about it and have had some bad feelings. Turns out I know his facebook password (I guessed right), and since I am a suspicious asshole, I read some messages. I found him talking to his other, different, most recent ex who, if you ask me, he is very obviously still in love with (judging by the messages and what he has told me). I also found him flirting with a past fwb girl telling her how he missed fucking her and talking about how horny he is and how she should send him pics of her hot cousin or something.\n\nNow. I am just so confused and upset. I know that nothing good comes from snooping...but I wasn't expecting to find anything at all, I trusted him. I think I will confess to snooping, but I want perspective--are these things I found really that upsetting or are they normal? I don't know what to think and really need outside opinion. Thank you", "summary": "I'm an idiot snooper, but I found bad messages with all 3 of the past girls he's been with. What the hell does this mean for me"} {"id": "t3_2wd62u", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "Keeping a house dog hair free", "post": "I'm in a relationship with a girl who has 2 dogs. I like dogs, but haven't had or lived with one since I was living with my parents because I HATE dog hair. For career reasons, our relationship is approaching the point where I need to shit or get off the pot over letting her move in with me.\n\nThe problem is she has a golden retriever mix and Brittany spaniel mix and her apartment is COVERED in dog hair. She can spend half a day cleaning it and it seems like it's covered again in a day. I can deal with spending time at her apartment fine, but I don't know if I can get used to the idea of my entire house constantly being like that and having no escape from the dog hair. Is it possible to have a relatively hair-free household with 2 dogs that shed a lot? If so, how? Would frequent professional groomings do the trick? I want to make this relationship work but I'm having a hard time getting past this.", "summary": "I don't like dog hair, but my gf has 2 dogs that shed a lot. Is it possible to let her move in without my house getting covered in dog hair and how?"} {"id": "t3_yoplj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "When in life have you felt the most alone/depressed?", "post": "Here's Mine...\n\nI am an American, currently living way outside of Telford, UK, if you have a clue where that is. Things aren't really working out as planned at the moment... I moved here because I've had a wonderful, up to this point, relationship with a woman I met at an airport almost 1 year ago. We thought my coming here after 11 months of long distance dating was the right step in seeing where our relationship could go. \n \nShe is trying to include me in her life, but it all seems a bit too forced... she's divorced, having been a teacher, seeing the fall out from it, I don't agree with how her children have no boundaries at her home. We argued about that today, after her 13 year old decided she didn't want to come back to his house from her aunt's for the last 5 days of her school holiday, the only \"long\" stretch of time she has them during the year.\n \nHow do you not get upset when someone you love is being hurt be someone that is supposed to love them? And then have all that frustration taken out on you? After we argued, I walked out of the house and down the lane to the foot path, the combines have been busy cutting the wheat today... I turned around, and I saw my shadow across the cut wheat... and that made me realize exactly how alone I feel here. Nothing that I can connect to for as far as I can see. Now, nearly 6 hours later, I'm down here at the computer while she's fast asleep in bed...", "summary": "I moved to the UK with my girlfriend and now I am the most alone/depressed that I have ever been."} {"id": "t3_3fhsx3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me 27F with my bf 32M 1,5 years. Would it be reasonable to discuss engagement?", "post": "Yes, I know it's early. Let me explain.\n\nWe are both from different countries and live together in another country. He moved here 4 years ago, I moved here 2 years ago. He was asked to transfer here for work, I came here because why not.\n\nVery recently, the topic of relocating for his work came up again. He is eager - he is a self-professed workaholic - because there is not much in his industry here apart from the company he works for, limiting his career growth. This would be yet another country where neither of us is native, I have never been to the place and I don't even speak the local language. Neither does he but then again he will obviously have a job already when we arrive.\n\nWe discussed it and said a tentative yes. To be honest, I am not entirely sure what would happen to the relationship if I said no. Things progressed now to the point where we are 90% sure it will happen, within 6 months or even within 2. \n\nWould it be reasonable to discuss getting engaged? Not in a tit for tat way, like I move somewhere for you so give me a ring, but more as an assurance to me he's in this with me and not only for his career. The stakes are so much higher for me, I will quit a good job, be unemployed and a bit disadvantaged in finding new work since I do not speak the local language, though I have been told the place is cosmopolitan enough that it might not matter.\n\nIs this fair? Or totally not? How do I bring it up?", "summary": "moving to a new country for SO's work. Could I bring up engagement to feel a bit more secure with leaving everything behind to go with him?"} {"id": "t3_3dm7j5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23 M] with my GF [23 F] of 2 months, got in a fight over something stupid.", "post": "So I been seeing this girl for a while and I like her so much and don't want to leave her. But last weekend we visited one of her friends and stayed the night at her place. My girlfriend was sweating in bed it was so hot so she dropped the AC down like 10 degrees.\n\nThe next day, Monday, my GF tells me that her friend is freaking out that the AC is not working anymore and my GF tells me not to tell her friend about it. I assume she was playing a prank on her.\n\nOn Wednesday the friend tells me her AC may be broke and that she is going to call someone to have a look at it. And I told her \"have to tried changing the temp? My GF changed it when we stayed over on Saturday.\"\n\nNow the friend is furious at my GF for lying to her face about the AC. and My GF is angry at me for ratting on her. She even called me an asshole.\n\nI apologized the next day and also tried to explain to the friend that my GF was probably just playing a prank and that they should make up. Neither of them are talking to each other, and my GF has ignored me for 2 days now. She won't even look at me.\n\nHow do I fix this? How long until things cool down?\n\nThis seems like a very childish thing to get angry about so I hope it blows over.", "summary": "Girlfriend played a prank on her friend, the friend was going to spend a lot of money fixing it so I told her about the prank. Now GF is furious at me and wont talk."} {"id": "t3_374nap", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "New York (Not NYC) - Tenant is underage drinking, smoking on non-smoking property, refuses to talk to me about a compromise. Can I terminate the lease and get them to move out?", "post": "I'm a landlord in a non-NYC NY state. I have a 1 year lease agreement with a tenant who I recently found out is violating the clauses in the lease by underage drinking, having underage friends over to drink, smoking heavily on a property described as non-smoking, and having noise until unreasonable times in the morning (talking till 5 am with friends). They also have friends over regularly, often staying overnight or for days without my permission.\n\nI can't handle cigarette smoke at all and I moved in ~1 week ago and its really bad.\n\nThey have paid on time so far, but it's only been a month. \n\nI have tried to contact my tenant about a compromise, such as a mutual agreement to end the lease early and help them find another place to live or giving the security deposit back. The tenant has been avoiding me, refusing to answer my texts, refusing to answer the door when I knock, and in general refuses to work with me.\n\nDo I have any standing to terminate the lease and tell them to get out? If I contact a lawyer, is there a chance the lawyer can help me through this process of removing them from my property?", "summary": "Tenant with 1 year lease smoking on non-smoking property (its in their lease) and underage drinking. Can I terminate the lease and start an eviction process?"} {"id": "t3_3z7h37", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my Friend [18 F] (have known since late August), she asked me if i wanted to hang out, and we set a date (which is tonight), but we didnt set an activity and now she isn't responding to texts", "post": "So this girl and I have gotten to know each other a bit through the CC team at my school this year. I didn't think it would go anywhere towards dating, but before winter break started she asked if I wanted to 'hang out soon'. I said yes, but that I would be out of town till the 28.\n\nOn the 29, after coming home the night before I texted her asking when she wanted to get together. We decided on Saturday night, which is tonight. But we had figured as to whether we were going to go to the local ski place, or to a movie, or whatever.\n\nThis morning (almost noon) I woke up late and sent her a text that read:\"So did you want to go to a theater tonight or go to someone's house for a movie?:)\"\n\nI've gotten nothing. Nada. No response. The text is marked 'delivered', but not 'read'. She, for sure has her phone set to \"notify when read\", so she hasn't opened imessage to read it, but she still might have(probably) seen it. \n\nShe does have a job, and I want to respect that, but an hour after me texting it to her she posted on Snapchat. Yes, I have been stalking her social media. This is my first experience with trying to date and I'm stressed as fuck right now and have been for the past three days.\n\nShould I follow up with another text, what should I do.", "summary": "Trying to go on a first date, but the girl wont respond to my texts and its almost 6:30 and we decided on tonight!"} {"id": "t3_1f9cym", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "Do you think I am pretentious?", "post": "I am always concerned with educating myself and expanding my intellectual horizons. I read a lot of philsophy and classic literature. I get a sense of satisfaction out of reading them. I frequently watch documentaries, TED talks, read psychology informative and thought-provoking articles and read the news. I read poetry and, I must say, I find watching a tv show or playing the xbox more enjoyable. I just feel that I should be spending my free time doing something \"more meaningful\". I still joke around with my friends. I never talk about anything \"high-brow\" unless they ask me or they have a genuine interest for it. So I don't show off, but I feel guilty if I find myself watching tv or playing the xbox. I want to be more intelligent and aware of the world. Does this make me smug (I don't know if that is the right word, but I think you know what I am getting at)", "summary": "I immerse myself in art to become more cultured, not necessarily enjoying it. Am I pretentious for doing so?"} {"id": "t3_3qpzpr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My friend [21 M] said hurtful things to me [20 F] and was different about it. I feels like I lost a friend.", "post": "UPDATE: Thanks for the people who responded to this. I was going through a tough time especially with midterms. To update, I did end up talking to him about the incident and how I was really upset about his attitude. He did end up apologizing for it. Even though he apologized, he apologized because I confronted him about it rather than he realizing it himself (and at the beginning, he didn't know what he was apologizing about). It made me more like a social obligation than a true friend especially because he rarely talks to me or initiates meetups on his own. So I think I'm going to try and cut him out of my life for the better and hopefully I will be fine. Thanks again for those who responded to this. I really appreciate it. :) \n\nI have known my friend for 2 and a half years. He is a great guy though a bit shy at times. He says that he views me as one of his best friends and cares for me. Recently he has been frustrated at his own problems in life so I called at times to make sure he was ok and whether or not he wanted to talk about it. \n\nI was really glad when he wanted to have lunch with me. However, he seemed frustrated when I would comment on some things (like how he was wearing a new shirt) and said that I was annoying. Being the emotional person that I am, i started tearing up and he chuckled when he saw that. I was crying at that point because he said he was indifferent to how I was feeling. So I left because I felt that I had nothing more to say. I'm saddened by the fact that I felt like I lost a friend. \n\nMy friends told me that I shouldn't have to put up with that and that I shouldn't talk to him. I haven't talk to him for 3 days and he didn't message me either for the last 3 days. I have been contemplating whether or not I actually lost a friend or his attitude was justified by how stressed he was with his own problems in his life that week. What do you guys think?", "summary": "Friend, who is frustrated with his own problems, said things that hurt me and was indifferent when I was feeling hurt by what he said. Did I lose a friend or was he just stressed?"} {"id": "t3_4v4afx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "One of my [20F] good friends [25F] won't speak to me anymore because I told her the truth about her bf", "post": "Hey guys,\n\nFirst of all: Have I done the right thing?\n\nBasically, a good friend of mine started dating this guy this time last year, he's about two years older than her so 27 or so. Well he seemed nice enough, but there was something about him me and others didn't like. It became clear he started cheating on her a month into their relationship all the way until January with an 18 year old girl, and it only ended because this girl told her about it, he was going to keep this going for as long as he could. She completely accepted it and forgave him, but him and this other girl still kept in contact and I dunno what happened after that.\n\nFrom that point on I seriously disliked him. I got his game - I could tell he was a deceitful liar, problem is she believes everything he says. Is this a case of serious delusion?\n\nSo all is well and good until I was on tinder and found him on there as well, last week. So I sent the the screenshot of his profile to her and asked her if she knew about this. Her response was not one I expected; I got a ton of shit from her telling me how I don't know her and is just jealous of me. It was then revealed he had been using tinder for a good while and admitted to hooking up with girls on it behind her back. I think he had been using it for a long time because he was being added and friended by these fake accounts that are obviously dating bots or whatever. Well he's deleted and blocked me as well so I can't check. lol\nI'm not sure of the situation between her and him now but I think they're still together.\n\nBut now I've lost a good friend, she has deleted and blocked me and probably hates me... because I saw how she was being treated. I almost hate him because he has ruined my friendship. I thought I did the right thing, I guess I didn't. I don't understand.\n\nThanks!", "summary": "Good friend is totally taken in by a guy who has cheated on her many times, she thinks I'm the problem and has blocked and deleted me."} {"id": "t3_4gbfso", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19 M] need advice with my crush [19F] 1 month, need advice about how to start texting her and hanging out", "post": "We knew each other when growing up, but we never talked until senior year of high school, which wasn't that much either. As we texted more, we were becoming better friends. One of my friends, who was good friends with her, said that she thought I was cute. I remember she even hugged me once when she saw me at some occasion in high school; she's also not the type to hug guys, even if they're good friends with her. So, she definitely was kinda interested in me. \n\nThe summer after we graduated high school, she asked me to hangout (not being too specific. she also didn't say it just as a formality and really wanted to hangout with me), but I messed up because I thought she said she was gonna make the plans and I spent all summer waiting for her to make the plans. We slowly stopped texting. I read our text messages at the end of the summer and realized I was supposed to tell her when I was available to hangout. \n\nWe hung out a couple of times in college (this is our first year) and she was getting a little more flirty with me over texts. Unfortunately, I decided that I didn't want to talk to her because I thought she was interested in another guy. Looking back at it, I don't think she was interested in anyone. I still think she's cute and want to get back texting/talking/hanging out with her. I need advice on how to start texting her, how to start hanging out with her, and what I should do to make a move.", "summary": "Had a crush who thought I was cute also. Stopped talking to her, but want to start talking her again. Need advice on how to start texting/hanging out/making a move."} {"id": "t3_wor4t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is there something to worry about? Or am I just overreacting?", "post": "Hi, so I've been dating my current girlfriend for close to two months now. I'm 23 and she is 24. I've always known she has lots of guy friends, however, there is one guy in particular who is starting to really annoy me. He is constantly texting her and constantly asking her to hangout with him. Two weeks ago he tried to pull a move on my girlfriend, which she rejected and later told me about. Since then I've met this guy and he seems to be intimidated by me (will never look me in the eye, won't come near my gf when I'm around, stopped posting publicly on her facebook wall (which he constantly used to do)). However, his actions behind my back have not changed. He still texts her almost every hour and tried to take advantage of my gf last weekend (invited her over to his place and gave her super strong alcohol).\n\nFor the record (and I'm not trying to gloat or be mean), I'm very muscular and good looking. This guy is short, fat, and balding. I've talked briefly with my gf about him and she said she made it clear to him that she is not attracted to him and doesn't want to do anything sexual with him. However, he is not taking \"no\" for an answer and is constantly trying to have his way with her behind my back.\n\nI've controlled myself every time I've seen him but I'm starting to lose patience. Should I confront him? Should I tell my girlfriend I don't want her to go to his place anymore? Or should I sit back and trust she will continue to reject his advances?\n\nThanks everyone", "summary": "One of my gf's friends keeps making moves on her behind my back and I'm starting to lose patience. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_3e57ua", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU leaving my skype on with anime... and laughing like a dolphin.", "post": "It started out as my average day, woke up at 4 in the evening, got a cup of coffee, and logged on to Steam for some gaming. It's a good round of tf2 for about an hour and a half, I have a couple tabs open, including an anime I had open on hulu. All the while, I've been skyping my friends. We break for a bit, and I make myself a steak burrito. As I'm slicing the steak I hear something faint in the background. I walk back into my room about 15 minutes later, and having forgot to mute my mic on skype, subjected my friends to my anime and made their ears bleed. Now, I have an alright in public, but when I'm by myself laughing at something, my laugh is that of a squeaky dolphin. \n\nWhich is what they heard.\n\nAnd since one of my friend's has specialized audio equipment, recorded perfectly at that exact moment.\n\nLooking forward to a lot of blackmail and shame.", "summary": "Left my skype open, and killed my friend's ears by anime. Laughed like a dolphin at them, and they recorded it. They're blackmailing me as I type."} {"id": "t3_3e4h3t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [38 F] with my sister [34 F] divorce is looming and her self esteem is non-existent. How can an enmeshed but loving family support her effectively?", "post": "Hey forum I never thought I'd have to write to! I have to keep this somewhat vague as one of the parties involved is a redditor. In a nutshell my sister and her husband are separating. He's actively cheating and is being unbelievably cruel and insensitive to my sister and their child on a level NONE of us knew he was capable of. \n\nThough we'd suspected things were bad for awhile now we've really only just learned the extent over the last few days so this is all still very raw. They're still living in the same house etc. \n\nTo add some fuel to the fire we have an \"enmeshed family.\" In other words this is not my sister's divorce this is everyone in the families divorce.\n\nI've come her for some advice on the most effective way to offer her support in these first few days. None of us have ever had to actually deal with this and while I understand in theory what someone going through something like needs/wants its a totally different story actually offering the help myself.\n\nI'm also looking for effective but gentle ways to manage my families attempts at getting in the middle of everything. I can't stress enough that my parents are loving, kind people who just don't know how to let their children be adults. They want to help but often that help manifests as doing everything and taking control to the point that we end up feeling like we aren't capable of doing the simplest things for ourselves.\n\nMy sister's self esteem has been so low for so long and I'm only just seeing it now. I want to help her recover, find her feet again and re-realize that she is a wonderful, beautiful person who deserves someone who loves and appreciates her.\n\nSo /r/relationships how did you survive your divorce? What's the best thing your family/support network did for you? What should we avoid at all costs?", "summary": "Sister separating/divorcing cheating husband. How do we (her loving but enmeshed family) help her?"} {"id": "t3_3e9zw5", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Can't tell if she likes me?!?", "post": "It's a long story, hold on\nMonths ago, I was getting close with a new school friend of mine (f). We talked and texted alot, and wow generally a kinda of bland person to talk to in public, she got very personal when talking to me in private. She would hug me alot, generally start the conversation with me. One day she even walked with me to the engineering department, holding my hand the entire time. My friends had never supported me in girls I liked until now. So finally I asked her out. Not interested in me at all, damaged our friendship severely. \nAnyways her best friend(let's call her L)texted me saying how adorable it qas, and she was upset I didn't talk to her about it. She's and honest 10/10, I'm a 6/10, fat, but a nice face, and a 20/10 personality, leader, confident, top of our class, valedictorian in High School. Every single one of my friends was interested in her, except me. Anyways me and L became very close friends the months after. I even set her up with a friend of mine she liked, but they just didn't fit. Anyways lately she's been hugging all over me, and is very sexual and open in our conversations. One day while I was sitting, she came up and leaned down and hugged me for like five minutes straight, breasts all in my face. Lately she has been just putting them all over me. My best friend keeps telling me he ships it and that she likes me, but I can't see it. I'm to scared too ruin another friendship by asking her out, and I just can't accept \"the signs\" after the bullshit I've dealt with all my life in false signs. Does she like me? I'm not attractive, and most people would kill to be with her, and the type of guys she's generally likes are generally very fit, nice jawline, vapes of smokes, sports cars (i drive a 2002 altima).", "summary": "I have dealt with false signs all my life. Now an amazing woman is giving some off, but I'm scared of ruining a friendship. Does she like me? What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_1y5a53", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my partner [19 F] of 8 months, current relationship is great but I cant get over my previous relationship, I constantly check her status updates.", "post": "I am currently with my partner of 8 months, I have great fun with her and she is lovely and in my opinion; better in most every way from my last partner.\n\nThat being said, I cant help but be constantly checking on my previous partner's (F/19) updates and profile on fetlife. I cant fathom her being with anyone else and feel ill when I see she is moving on or showing off her new marks. I believe the reason I do this is because she was conservative about her sexuality in our relationship except when she was unbelievably horny, in which case she became excessively slutty. This transition was incredibly hot to me. With my current partner; sex is always on the table, she has a bigger sex drive than I do, is constantly slutty and constantly flirting with me even 8 months in.\n\nBut I seem to be yearning to make contact with my ex. Our relationship ended when she invited me over to her sharehouse, May 2013 to tell me one night, but never explained why and I'm still not sure... I have not received closure and being the curious sort; this is annoying to me.\n\nI also get turned on by the thought of her being with others somewhat, it used to be more active in my imagination but not so much now. I don't consider this to be a cuckolding fetish but more hotwifing, I could be wrong though.\n\nI guess it's not really affecting me to a large degree in life, but I am constantly desiring to find closure or restore my previous relationship alongside my current one (shouldn't be too much of a problem as both my current partner and ex was bi.) \n\nI have not discussed this with my current partner because I do not want to make her feel devalued if I'm thinking back to my ex or have not fully gotten over her despite it being about 8-9 months", "summary": "I'm in a great relationship now and enjoy life with my current partner, she is IMO much better in most every way over my ex."} {"id": "t3_47riwv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 F] with my friend [17 F] friends for 2 years, claims she will be 'forever alone' but wants the perfect guy.", "post": "My friend has won several trophies and awards for her stellar performance in golf. She was raised in an extremely wealthy family and goes to a private school.\n\nFrom what it seems, she basically tries to be the best at everything she does in life: which is very admirable. However, she always complains about not having a boyfriend.\n\nI believe she does this because this is the one thing she has trouble obtaining.\n\nShe sent me a message that said: \"I don't get it, I am prettier than all the other girls in school so how come I can't get a boyfriend?\" This caught me off guard because I thought it was really rude, but I think she is just confused.\n\nShe met this guy after her bowling session and he wanted to get to know her better but she stated that he was too \"creepy\" and had a lisp and was awkward, so therefore, she didn't want him. \n\nI understand people have preferences, but she barely even gave him a chance. Setting standards too high will make it nearly impossible to find a partner.\n\nI want to tell her that she will find a guy eventually but it may take a long time to find her 'dream' guy. I mean she is only 17! There are much more important things to focus on.\n\nShe is very sensitive to the criticism, but I want to help her and don't know what to say without being rude. \n\nI care for her a lot and want her to be happy, but be able to accept reality too.\n\nSidenote, she always talks about herself. I never get the chance to talk about my problems and if I do, she brushes them off to the side. It gets very irritating.", "summary": "Basically, my friend refuses to realize that not everybody will fancy her. What is a polite way I could tell her this without threatening our friendship?"} {"id": "t3_3ulgz6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [46/m] with my gf [40/F] 3.5 years, cheated on me,here got messy, need some strength here", "post": "So, I thought I had the perfect relationship. Fifteen year friend becomes 3.5 year partner. We live together, share everything, and have never even had a disagreement beyond what time brunch should end.\n\nI've spent 18 months trying to launch a business, and it's not getting traction. She makes a ton of money, and was never hesitant to share it.\n\nWhile I was in London a few weeks ago, she fucked someone else. She's also decided that she likes hm, and wants to give him a chance. \n\n So I get to move out, but she still wants to date me, too. I want nothing more than her, I'd never been happier.\n\nI know that's wrong. Who has good tips on how to make the right decision and stick to it? Also, anyone just feel like chatting? The emptiness and lonlieness is deafening around here.", "summary": "great relationship. Gf cheats, kicks me out, but still wants to date. Help me say no?"} {"id": "t3_1o9zvh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19/F] boyfriend [20/M] of 2 years is being a jerk to me. On the fence about breaking up. Really confused. Please help..", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We're LDR. For the majority of our relationship it was absolutely great. Lately it's been far from that. About a week or two.\n\nRight now I'm full-time in junior college and I will be transferring out to a uni soon. I have a lot on my plate right now with school, family issues, a part-time job, and I'm having difficulty juggling it all. To top it all off my boyfriend has been being a jerk to me which is making everything so much better. I should add that my boyfriend is doing nothing right now. He is not in school, no job, nothing.\n\nI always do what I can to make him feel great when he's feeling down, but even when I do he's been a complete ass to me. Our last phone call I told him that I love him and his reply was \"see ya,\" then he hung up. I ask him what's he doing, his reply \"Nothing.\" I'm doing what I can to be there for him. I ask him how his day was, how he is feeling, what's he doing and every reply I've been getting from him feels like zero effort (e.g. nothing, k, lol, etc) was put into it. I feel like he is being forced to talk to me because I'm his girlfriend. \n\nThe other day I told him that I was stressed out with everything I have going on and he had nothing to say. I didn't expect him to be completely sympathetic to me, but I really could have appreciated some words of encouragement or something. I feel like he doesn't care about me anymore and is being disrespectful to me...\n\n I don't know what to do. I'm confused and I'm hurt. Part of me wants to end this relationship, but the other part doesn't. I have invested a lot into this relationship and sometimes people get through certain obstacles and become a stronger couple. I'm starting to feel like this problem isn't something we can't get through. I don't know what to do\u2026 Am I not doing enough?", "summary": "Every time I try to cheer my boyfriend up or talk to him his responses seem like zero effort are being put into them. Should I break up with him?"} {"id": "t3_1s7pe7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18 M] with my [18 F] we been seeing each other for a year, not sure what to do, feeling the worst ive ever felt in my life.", "post": "im a student who has just moved school away from my girlfriend. im still in the same area as her, just not the same school.\n\nwe been in a relationship but not on are own, we both have seen other people. which we are fine with and we have Spock about it. no problem there.\n \nwe have had a strong relationship over the last year, where we have been getting closer. \nthe last break we had from school was a week and we spent most of are time tougher over that week. things where good.\n\nbut recently she has been general off with me. she has not been replying to my text or being blunt. sine this has been happening she has been round only once, when normally she would come round 4-6 time in the same period.\n\nthe one time she did come round she seemed happy, but still being a little bunt and not very interactive. didn't really want to be there for long or get close to me in any way at all, which is not the normal at all. she also said while at mine i was her favourite person and that she loved me.", "summary": "simply its not the same at all. i am felling sad about it more than i feel good. not sure what to do with mixed messages?"} {"id": "t3_1igmu8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [28/F] GF is \"overwhelmed\". I'm a [24/M]. Please help me figure this out.", "post": "Ok, here goes. Went on a backpacking trip with my GF and her family, been looking forward to it, took time off work to do it. I just got back from a 3 week work trip and a couple days later we go on this backpacking trip. Things go pretty shitty, it rains on us/hailstorms, her friend's dog shits in our tent, just overall no buenos. We get back, silent car ride home, her family stays and I go to my aunt/uncles so they have more room. \n\nShe tells me that night that we need to talk. I go over today and she tells me that she's unhappy, feels overwhelmed, she says she doesn't know how to tell me whats on her mind and that she might not have been ready for a relationship. \n\nThis is almost a year into the relationship, she's never brought any issues up to me (which was a big red flag I guess), and now all the sudden out of the blue things aren't working out, but she can't explain it to me clearly. What should I do? She seems like she has given up but still is open to talking.", "summary": "GF of almost a year tells me after a backpacking trip with her family that she feels overwhelmed, she's \"broken\", and can't think of how to tell me what's wrong."} {"id": "t3_epwxc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My boobs are getting worse and I'm afraid my husband will think I'm not attractive.", "post": "I have big breasts and while I'm still in my early 20s, these things are starting to head south. I know that it's usually the nature of large breasts but I feel like mine are starting to look exceptionally bad for my age. There are stretch marks all over them and they seem to get more numerous and deeper with each passing day. I know that a lot of people will say, \"Well, if your husband really loves you he won't care,\" but it's really taking a toll on my self confidence and as a lot of men know, the less sexier your women feels the less she wants to be intimate. I tried bench presses + incline bench, low reps with high weight but it has a minimal effect on the skin and really only makes them look a little fuller (which is fine if I was an A cup, also makes opening pickle jars easier). I don't really have money for plastic surgery right now and I intend to breast feed so it won't be an option until after I have sufficient funds and after my uterus has fulfilled it's duties. I heard about a derma roller but its quite a bit of money to put toward something that might not work, still more affordable than a breast augmentation though. I'm not sure what else I can do to look good naked. My husband is a big boob fan and I know that he loves me and my sagging knockers but I don't want to be the wife that gives up on trying to look good. I know I should be grateful for these things that will someday nourish my children but I need them to look good so that I can actually get to that point.", "summary": "My boobs are getting saggy, what can I do to fix them that is cheaper than plastic surgery and isn't something I already tried (weight training, lotions)."} {"id": "t3_badoj", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Why is it every single time cops raid a house for a little weed, they shoot all the dogs?", "post": "After seeing [this thread] it really bothered me. It seems this same story keeps happening over and over: The cops get a no-knock warrant, bust into a family's home, then they start killing everything with more than two legs. I know there are a few police that lurk reddit, and I'm juts wondering on the mentality. I mean, do you sit in the pre-raid meeting and go over the \"Proper Dog-killing Procedures?\" Is it policy to always shoot all the dogs? Don't tell me the dogs must pose some sort of threat, because in the most recent incident, the cops killed a fucking 3 pound *corgi*. The last one I read about showed that both dogs had been shot in the back and rear as they attempted to flee.", "summary": "Average citizen just wondering if it's policy to always kill people's dog's or if you cops just do it to get off? "} {"id": "t3_2gkbbk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] and my [19 F] of 3 years broke up a few months ago, but it's just now feeling like an actual breakup and hitting me harder than a train", "post": "So my girlfriend of 3 years from highschool into a full year of college broke up with me back in may 2014, and I was pretty distraught about it then, but she made it seem like we had high chances of getting back together, so throughout the summer we still hung out once in a while and occasionally were intimate. We both still loved eachother. I just didn't realize the decisions she wanted to make.\n\nCommunication was always an issue. About 3 weeks back she remembered why we broke up. Because she wasn't happy and getting what she wanted to out of the relationship. We had issues with arguing and miscommunicating and not seeing eye to eye. \nTypical reasons for breaking up. \n\nHowever, I seriously love this girl. I can't handle not being with her. I would rather go through any pain of being put down in an emotional rollercoaster than live without her...\n\nNow it's only getting worse.\nshe called me last night and told me she's dating a guy from her college.\nI couldn't say a word. She kept telling me all summer \"I need to be single for a while longer\", then goes and dates a guy?\nI am the jealous type, and deeply in love. My thoughts are like poison, and I can't go a night without crying about this...\n\nIf anyone had ANY sort of response that would be lovely. I just need to talk about this for the first time in my life.", "summary": "GF of 3 yrs breaks up with me, 5 months later is dating another guy, I can't handle it."} {"id": "t3_2wcchq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me(21f) and my ex(22m) are still friends but he's randomly jealous", "post": "Let me start off by saying we dated over 2 years we broke up (his choice) and we're having sex until about a week ago. He's been talking to this other girl for a few weeks and is about to date her so he went out and bought condoms with me there which kinda hurt my feelings but I let it go. \n\nA few days ago he got super upset bc I didn't tell him I went on a date... It didn't go too great do I never said anything. Then recently he got mad bc I said I missed having sex. \n\nI don't get how it's ok for him to buy condoms and leave things from his sex life everywhere but when I say one thing he's jealous/mad. \n\nAlso I feel like if he really liked her he shouldn't care about what I'm doing am I right? I just don't get what he means by all this?", "summary": "my ex is seeing someone else but gets upset when I go on dates or talk about sex with other people. I don't get how he can like someone else and be mad at me for trying to move on."} {"id": "t3_1yyech", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (F.18) am infatuated, maybe even something more, with my friend (M.18) he shares my feelings--but my parents won't allow it.", "post": "I've never really liked getting to know people, and this sort of happened by accident. One of the two girl friends that I have decided to make me open up with other people. (M.18) is a mutual friend of one of my girlfriends, because he's her boyfriends best friend, and thought we would both be perfect together because we're both virgins. We would text and hang out often because we actually had tons in common, and I think I really adore this guy. I've had past relationships, and I ended them from fear of letting them in and me being stuck in a committed relationship and I never felt like I longed for their attention... but, I hate it when I know I won't get to see (M.18) for a certain amount of time. He shares feelings for me as well and we are extremely flirty and content the times we are together. The problem is that he's of a different race than I am, and my parents will not allow that at all. I don't really understand this because my grandfather married his second woman outside his race, and figured my mom and dad would be more understanding of it and that race does not decide how a person is. (M.18) treats me very kindly and I feel so happy with him. I've tried talking to my parents but they won't listen to me. If I want to see (M.18) it is usually without my parent's knowledge or a group hangout. Should I just do as my parents say? Or listen to my gut?\n\n(Idk if this matters, but we're both finishing up our last semester of high school. So I can't neglect my parents wishes fully because I abide by the rules of their house).", "summary": "Girl likes Boy, Boy likes Girl. We're like two peas in a pod, but parents won't allow it because of race difference. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2x5lvx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28 M] with my Gf [28 F] 2 years, I suck at giving words of affirmation", "post": "I need help with words of affirmation. We have been together for 2 years. I have all the intentions of marrying her but am taking the time to get everything just right. Typical guy thing I know. She wants to get married immediately. Recently we have been having problems with her feeling as though its never going to happen. Basically she says I need to tell her what I am planning for the future. Also we generally have an argument about me giving her any confirmation of my love for her. I just suck at giving compliments and words of affirmation. How do I become better at this? How do I reassure her of my commitment without telling her the exact day and time I am planning on asking her. She says if I wanted to marry her then I would have done it already.", "summary": "gf is insecure and wants to get married immediately. I want to make everything good. Need words of affirmation to reassure her of my love."} {"id": "t3_39ro82", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [22M] girlfriend [22F] of 10 months refuses to forgive me for anything, no matter how small", "post": "Throwaway because I'm extremely sheepish.\n\nLet me start by saying my girlfriend is an amazing human being. I love the crap out of her and we have a lot of fun together, but as soon as she gets mad/upset about something involving me, she shuts down and becomes stubborn, abrasive, and just plain rude. She'll send rude, short texts or just be completely unresponsive\n\nThe other day after breakfast, we were talking about oral hygeine (who knows why this was the topic) and I made a comment essentially saying that it's ok to have yellow teeth and not a perfect white smile. This was just a general statement, but unbeknownst to me, she took it to mean i was telling her she had bad teeth. Cut to a week later, she doesn't respond to my texts all day, and then starts telling me how I hurt her and was insensitive to her feelings.\n\nNow here's my issue. Even though I believe I said nothing wrong, I apologized and explained that it wasn't directed at her and that I was sorry she took it that way. Her response? Nothing. She continues to text me short snappy texts, not even acknowledging my apology. She refuses to forgive me.\n\nThis is not the first time this has happened either. This is the 3rd occasion where something like this has happened. She never truly forgives me about these little things, and they all rise to the surface at a later date, I've tried asking her to open up if she's upset with me but it's never worked.\n\nI need advice. I have no friends or family to go to with this kind of thing. It's so incredibly difficult and it really hurts that she won't accept my apologies or forgive me.", "summary": "Girlfriend gets very upset over small things, won't forgive me when I apologize no matter what I do. How do I proceed?"} {"id": "t3_2h8vdw", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by lying to my teacher", "post": "This just happened today a few hours ago. I went to school like any other day, and by the second hour was bombarded with a 30-35 minute lecture (by lecture I mean furious non-stop shouting) about how I was supposed to hand in my coursework today. The coursework was for media and was set on Thursday. Unfortunately for me I was sick on Thursday and Friday and had no means of contact to ask my friends as I am not a very sociable person.\n The teacher then told me to come back after school along with others to finish it. Cue the fuck up. I was supposed to go to Science catch up is well and chose not to because 'Pirate Life' and didn't go to media catch up either. My Science teacher then called my parents and told me I'm going to get detention everyday for the rest of the week but I tried explaining that I couldn't go, as I had media catch up. She insisted that she will ask my media teacher If I went. After hanging up , a few minutes later she called back infuriated by the thought of me lying and says my punishment will be far worse.", "summary": "Didn't do 2 courseworks, lied to one teacher by saying I went to the other coursework detention, ended up being caught and now teacher doesn't trust me and made the situation far worse."} {"id": "t3_2lh9b7", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Question about Credit Scores", "post": "I read through the FAQ, but I don't think it fully answered my question, so I'll ask it here in hopes someone can clarify it for me.\n\nEarlier this week I went ahead and paid off my car. A couple years ago I was able to pay off my student loans. I currently pay my 2 credit cards off (one is a personal card I use for business, one I use for personal items) and almost always maintain a 0 balance at the end of the month. I live in an apartment I rent, so I do not have a mortgage or any other loans out at this time. I am 100% debt free as of today.\n\nNow I thought this should be exciting. I can now save more money and use that to invest in other things I've wanted to do but always put off to get to 0 debt. When I told my parents about it my Dad kind of scared me that I needed to maintain some form of debt that it didn't impact my credit score down the line.\n\nAfter reading the FAQ, I learned there are obviously a lot of misconceptions about what does and does not impact your credit score. Clearly, failing to pay or paying late has a negative impact, and clearly having a high utilization rate also has a negative impact. But now that I have paid off my 2 big loans (student/car) will that eventually have a negative impact on my score? I'll continue using my two credit cards, but I have no plans to buy a house or another car anytime soon so I do not forsee myself taking out another loan for quite some time. Can someone shed some more light on this or offer some advice?", "summary": "As of today I'm 100% debt free, will not having any significant loans such as a house/car/student loans for the next few years have a negative impact on my credit score?"} {"id": "t3_3994n3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (26M) just found out that my parents (55M&F) plan on buying me \"Star Wars: The Music\" symphony tickets for my birthday. The problem: I don't want to go with them.", "post": "My birthday will be coming up in a week and my sister (23F) told me that my parents are going to buy me \"Star Wars: The Music\" symphony tickets for a show coming up in October. I'm not sure how many tickets they plan on buying, but I would assume they would buy enough so that they and my sister can go, instead of two so I can bring who I want. \n\nI would absolutely love to go to such an event, but the experience would be *awful* with them. \n\nDad hates musicals, and especially hates Star Wars (weird, right?). If he went it would feel like sitting next to a person who you just introduced your favorite movie to but you can tell they hate it.\n\nMom talks during everything. Doesn't matter how inappropriate. Even during the last play we took her to.\n\nSister and her SO would actually be pretty fun to go with, but it's not their thing and I don't want to force it on them.\n\nAnother issue is that even if they did buy me only two tickets, I wouldn't have anyone to go with. None of my friends are into that scene and I have no romantic interests I could ask. I know it seems far enough away to find a date but I've never been on a date in my life. It's incredibly unlikely for me to find one by then. \n\nSo, Reddit, what should I do? Tell my parents that I am not interested in such an event? Or just grin, say thank you, and fake a smile throughout the event?", "summary": "My parents, who're bad concert goers, are buying me tickets to a symphony. I don't want them since they'll probably buy tickets for themselves."} {"id": "t3_1ngx2a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (18) wants to smoke weed again after being free for months from a mental addiction to it, and I (F19) am inconsolably upset about it.", "post": "We've been together for about a year, and when we met he was addicted to smoking weed and doing other drugs constantly. He stopped doing it when we started dating and he's able to actually do well in school now and be a healthier person. \n\nBut now he can't hang out with his drug-doing friends anymore - which wasn't a big problem for him before I left for college. Now he's sad during the week while I'm gone (I come home every weekend), and suddenly he's brought up wanting to hang out with his friends and smoke. (I accused him of really just wanting to smoke, no matter his friends, and he didn't deny it).\n\nI got *very* upset when he told me he wanted to smoke. I started crying and could not give him a good answer for why it would be so horrible for him to smoke occasionally with his friends. He's said for a long time if he smoked it might lead to doing it everyday eventually like before, but now he's saying he wants to try and he thinks it won't come to that. \n\nAm I being ridiculous in freaking out about him smoking every once in awhile, if he promised it was only sometimes?\n\nI've trusted him the whole time since he quit. He even quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey, and hasn't talked about any of it much since then.", "summary": "My boyfriend wants to smoke weed despite having been \"addicted\" to it before, and I am extremely upset about it. Am I being ridiculous in not letting him smoke, and therefore not see his friends who smoke?"} {"id": "t3_1sz0rt", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "i could really use some advice from someone who either currently works for or has worked for Safeway..", "post": "WARNING! WALL OF TEXT!\ni am 23 years old. i have worked at safeway for about 1 1/2 years now. i was a courtesy clerk for 3 months, and then i worked in the floral department, then a little bit in the bakery. i had to get a second job because i was being paid minimum wage and my hours were being cut. the new job i got was extremely stressful, but it had more secure hours and the pay was more. i was going to give my two weeks notice to my safeway job when the manager offered me a position in File Maintenance. they said that i would be making 8.90/hr with over night (night shift) rates on top of that after i finished a weeks training. he said that once i was in file maintenance, i would earn raises more quickly, get more hours, and that i could be management within a year. he also said that i would have to quit my second job because they would need me to work weekends. i thought about it for a day, and decided to quit my higher paying job and take the position in file maintenance. i have worked in the new position for almost six months now, and i had to go to the union for him to change my job title and to get the numbers to clock over to the department (i had never clocked over to floral or even bakery before). even after that my title was only changed to GM clerk and my rate of pay is 8.40. i get scheduled about 22 hrs a week on average. i just feel like such an idiot. i hate the new job, i make the same amount of money i did before (except technically less since i quit my other job for this position) and i feel like i'm going insane working the night shift. is this a common thing to do in safeway? i feel like this can't possibly be personal, right? i work really hard, and i don't really understand why the manager would lie to me about a better position when i was going to leave the company. i didn't really find the union helpful when i went the first time. what should i do?", "summary": "quit second job to accept supposedly higher paying position at current company with opportunity for more hours/raises. turns out that the new position only offered sleep deprivation. feeling fucked."} {"id": "t3_1xhvra", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Any advice for a guy who wants a new direction in life?", "post": "So I'm a guy in my mid-20s. As a kid I grew up being pretty handy with computers. Now as I entered my college years, all my friends, family, and people around me keep saying I should \"do something in computers, like comp sci or something buddy\" because they think that it was the only great skill I had.\n\nWell... in some really dumb or weird form of rebellion I decided to go against their ideal hope for me and I got a degree in anthropology.\n\nNow I'm in my 20s, I have no idea how to apply this anthropology degree into a career, and I have a low-paying job as a pharmacy assistant in which any high school graduate who took a simple 40 hour course can get.\n\nI now realize, well maybe my friends and family actually did kind of know what my real interests were. I should have done something in a computer related field. \n\nI know everyone will tell me, \"you're still young, you have lots of time to get another degree\". Problem is, I don't want to go back to school and pay for more tuition, I'm already burdened enough.\n\nSo I want to ask my fellow redditors, What kind of decent jobs are there in the IT, computer, etc. field that I can enter or get training for?", "summary": "Like computers since I was young. Decided to get anthropology degree instead. Unhappy with my unrelated low paying job. Now I want to go into a computer related, IT, etc. field."} {"id": "t3_ct31j", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit: How Can I get Rid of My Drug Dealing Neighbors?", "post": "My next door neighbors moved into our quiet suburb about 2 years ago. They are both in their early 30's. The wife is \"disabled\" with a bad back and is open about taking prescription drugs to combat the pain. The husband doesn't work either but there wasn't any reason given as to why. They claim his parents purchased the house for them and that is how they are able to not work.\n\nI've always suspected them of dealing some kind of drugs but hadn't seen any concrete evidence to make me 100% sure. Until a couple weeks ago when I noticed a garbage bag next to their house (where they keep the garbage before taking it to the curb for trash pickup) full of pill bottles. We're talking a 20 gallon garbage bag entirely full of empty prescription pill bottles - there must have been 1000 of them. \n\nThis morning my wife overheard the husband and his friend talking about the next shipment. The friend said he had enough of the last shipment and the husband said he should be getting some new shit in this week. The friend said he would come by and pick some up.\n\nNormally I mind my own business. I wouldn't want someone causing trouble for me. However, I have a wife, two year old daughter and a son on the way. I don't want to chance someone coming to rob him and having a shootout that leaves one of us accidentally dead. He's already told me there are multiple guns in his house.\n\nWe've already submitted multiple complaints to the anonymous crime tip line locally but don't know what to do past that. We don't want them to know we're selling them out for fear of reprisal. What else can we do?", "summary": "Next door neighbors deal drugs, I'm worried for my family's safety. What can I do to get them gone or busted and stay anonymous?"} {"id": "t3_m6coc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the worst experience you have ever had with customer service", "post": "Mine is currently happening. I bought a brand new laptop for college this summer from Asus. A couple weeks ago while watching netflix with some friends my computer started screeching (not from a physical component of the computer) and then turned off and simply refused to turn on. After waiting on the phone for 45 minutes Asus finally picked up. After some trouble shooting they told me that I should send it to them but that they would not reimburse me for the shipping. I thought that that was weird but sent it in anyway for 30 dollars. When I called to ask if they had received my computer the man on the phone told me that they had and that repairs had begun. He told me it would be 10-14 business days until I got my computer. I called the next week to check on my computer and I was told that they were waiting for parts. The customer service rep couldn't tell me what parts they were waiting for but he assured me that the 10-14 day turnaround time still stood. I called the next week (on the 11th business day they had it) and they assured me it would be at my dorm by the following monday (last monday) and when tuesday came around and I did not have my computer (15th business day) I called again. The customer service rep told me that they were waiting for parts, that repairs had never started and that they could end up keeping my computer for another week or that it could be more than 2 months and that he had no idea. My family has had to send in HP and Toshiba computers before and while the service wasn't amazing I have never dealt with something so unprofessional.", "summary": "I sent my computer to ASUS and was promised my computer back in 10-14 business days. Now I am being told it could be up to 2 months until I see my laptop again"} {"id": "t3_3adaao", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [15 M] with my friend [15 F] of 5 months, may be interested in me.", "post": "So, there's this girl I met on Instagram and have on and off alked to her for a few months. I am going to soon meet her in person and want to scope her out for some signs that she may like me. Note, we haven't met in person-EVER. But she knows a little about me and what I look like. But a friend was saying she might be nervous about talking to me because she may like me, or just cuz I'm a boy. She is the shy type, after all. Personally I'm banking on the latter. :/\n\nSo, this reaches out to teen (or once teen) girls. What are the REAL signs that you are interested in a boy? Or is this just all about the girl herself? I always hear things about her looking at you and looking away when the guy sees them. Ya know, typical things.", "summary": "I need to know the true signs of a girl's interest in a guy, or if it varies from girl to girl."} {"id": "t3_1odlsb", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I (23/m) my crush (23/f), i know she likes me but is playing games. What should i do?", "post": "I've liked this girl for a while now. My issue is i don't ever like anyone. I always sleep with girls and never want to talk to them again. I think this is maybe the second person in my life who i have actually thought i would give it a try with. She was so nice and kind when we were hanging out for the first 2 months and i had to leave to go on a holiday for 2 months. So we didn't see each other still kept in reasonable contact i get back into town. Text her to see if she wants to hang out. No responses until i was like fuck it i'm done with this. I'm not gonna embarrass myself by being to forward. Ill just see her at the bars. After about three weeks i finally see her. We hang out and a few of her friends see me. We chat and they immediately recognize me as the guy this girl has had a crush on all summer and tell me about how much she likes me. I'm now thinking ill give it another try. I ask her if she wants to grab some food. Says yes and then i reconfirm again few days later and she just doesn't respond. I hadn't seen her in weeks then the other day i saw her again. Had a chat to her in the bar for around 20 minutes, she was flirting with me touching me and stuff, i got the feeling as though she was still into me. Now i cant get her out of my head. Normally i would fuck this all off, but its so rare for me to have any sort of feelings for people. I wanna give it a try, but i feel like she is playing a lot of bullshit games with which i don't want anything to do with.", "summary": "find a girl who likes me is essentially playing games and being immature. I like her and rarely have any feelings for woman. Wondering if i should leave it or give a go."} {"id": "t3_3awug5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 F] broke off with guy [24 M] was dating a short time, did I handle it ok? He's retaliating.", "post": "I dated a guy for a week, but we went on 4 or so pretty intense long dates. For me it takes a while to find out if I really like someone, but I wanted to give him a chance although I thought he was a little too intense for me.\n\nWe had sex the last night and it was horrible in my book, I felt like it can't even be saved and it made me realize that I didn't even want to try and save it. I realized in that moment that I just don't like him.\n\nSo I called him and broke it off, explaining that it wasn't him, there just was something missing on my part. \n\nHe basically begged me to give him another chance, blamed the sex, kept asking what I did wrong. And I'm still getting texts from him even though I asked him to leave me alone. \n\nFinally I deleted him from social media and he sent me some text messages flipping out at me and telling me that I didn't give him a chance and was a liar. \n\nI don't know what to do from here. I thought I did the right thing by not wasting any more of his time. I guess I just stop replying now and let it fizzle out? Been about 3 weeks now since I dumped him. \n\nI guess my question is... what do I do now? How do I stop this from happening in future relationships? What is the right way to dump someone you're barely dating?", "summary": "Dumped guy because of bad sex/just don't like him after a week, didn't want to waste his time. Guy is pissed, calling me a bad person."} {"id": "t3_4tod2i", "subreddit": "travel", "title": "Please help first time flyer! UK Questions", "post": "Okay yes I understand the obnoxious title but my hair is falling out. I have a long distance girlfriend in Retford, Nottinghamshire, UK and I myself am from Arkansas. I bought my ticket in the middle of May as a one way there, then discovered how scathing customs can be towards one ways from anywhere really if I don't have the fudiciary backing and appropriate documentation of such. I'm looking to find out what kind of hell I'm in for because the flight is...tomorrow. I bought a separate one way back from London for exactly 59 days from the landing date, we were told by someone in the ministry of defense (not any travel portion, naturally) but that they wouldn't bat an eye or start scrounging me for my bank information (which I can't afford to have checked, plenty of money but it's in installments and not something I'd like our governments to have their noses in) that so long as it was within 60 days they wouldn't bat an eye. Can anyone confirm or deny that ? Guys I can't afford to be flagged at Customs and turned around, it's our first time meeting and we've been working and saving up since New Years putting absolutely everything into meeting one another...I just wish I knew what to expect, any information is beyond appreciated, especially from anyone from the states who's been on an elongated trip there, or anyone over the pond ! I'll be staying at her place but not for long enough to necessitate a visa... What do you guys think ? Thank you in advance!", "summary": "I'm not broke but not wealthy enough to stand through customs if they shake me down. Need to know if I'm good with the time frame and what to expect, please"} {"id": "t3_3bh6w4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (32/M) am having issues with my SO's (36/F) child (11/M). Not sure what to do.", "post": "Her and I have an amazing relationship. She loves my kids and treats me very well. The problem is her son is quite spoiled and she's aware of it. Being her supportive SO, she often vents to me and oftentimes it's about her son. So much so that my dislike for him has increased exponentially everytime she tells me how he is pissing her off. He is a \"gifted\" child who is socially awkward and completely condescending. I don't like that he speaks to my 4 yo son and 3 yo daughter in a condescending tone when they don't use the appropriate words... They're babies.\n\nSo I understand he's only a child himself but I don't know how to deal with this. He's not my kid so I can't correct him. He frustrates me and then his mom tops it off by continually telling me how he's throwing a tantrum because she's coming to see me. Then she says how much he's a brat, spoiled, etc. What she doesn't know is that her words are making me dislike her son waaay more than I already do. Do I just tell her? She gets very stressed as it is so I don't want to add to it but I don't believe I'm the best person for her to vent to about her son. Thoughts?", "summary": "Girlfriend has a spoiled child who's mean to my kids and she constantly vents to me about how much of an ass he is at home which is causing me to dislike him a lot."} {"id": "t3_okdx0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Coincidences that really freaked you out.", "post": "This could have some crossover with that post about glitches in the Matrix from a week or 2 ago.\n\nI'm not really talking about that time you rented (or downloaded) a movie and it showed on tv the next week. (That could've just been you seeing a promo and forgetting.) \n\nI'm talking about stranger stuff.\n\nHere's mine:\nAbout a month ago, I commented in [this post] about strange sensations, specifically about when your arm or leg falls asleep.\n\nNew Years day, the pinky and ring finger on my left hand started tingling slightly, and to varying degrees, has been doing it since. I played doctor and discovered this is usually due to some minor trauma to the elbow (like hitting your funny bone) or sometimes a vitamin deficiency. \n\nI'm fairly sure mine comes from my posture when working/playing at my computer, resting my chin on my left hand, those two fingers curled, my elbow on my armrest. It had been bothering me a little in the weeks before so I'd been trying to stop, but apparently too late.", "summary": "I said I liked when my limbs fall asleep; 2 weeks later, spontaneous but lasting tingling in two fingers."} {"id": "t3_3e5lrb", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by getting out of the friend zone", "post": "Back Story: I'm in a friend zone level 999999 with this one girl. I've come to the conclusion I'm never breaking free, but I sure as hell don't want to make any matters worse for myself. Recently I feel like I've been inching out of the friend zone, so I've been trying to flirt and impress her a bit more.\n\nShe was flying today, and I personally love airplanes and all things with flying (hoping to start my private pilots license as soon as I can find the extra $10K). I instinctively looked up her flight on flightaware.com, and looked at the flight plan. She was flying into Reagan National which is especially interesting to me considering all the restricted airspace around it. I decided to impress her with my findings. I told her at how many feet should would be flying, cruising, what waypoints they would hit, what she could see out her window, and what gate she would be pulling up to. Instead of being interested and thinking it was cool like I played in my head, I completely creeped her out. She told me that was boarder line stalkerish, it was weird I knew all that, and frightening that I took the time to look it up. Welp, that about shuts that door forever.", "summary": "In the friend zone but slowly escaping. Looked up the girls flight specifics. She told me I was a stalker, and was creepy. Now I'm out the friend zone and in the creepy guy zone."} {"id": "t3_33lifc", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by buying a crack pipe from a foreign country while with a bunch of church people.", "post": "So, as is often the case, this didn't happen today, but I just remembered this. \n\nBack in 2010, I was in Honduras on a mission trip with about 20 other people who are very religious. We were all walking through this open air market type place. I mean, in my defense, I was 16 years old and had never even seen a drug. I spot this table with some cool \"handmade\" wares. Necklaces, plates, pipes, etc. I figure that I'll buy a cool pipe for my friend who likes pipes. Well... It's a crack pipe. I didn't know it at the time, but it was. It had some cool designs and enamels on it. But the dead giveaway was the bottom of the bowl which was just glass, no designs. Perfect for heating up the crack :). \n\nA few of the people with me on the trip were very confused as to why I was buying a crack pipe. I didn't understand what it was, I figured it was just a regular tobacco pipe. A few of the others told me I should put it back, that it would get confiscated at the airport. I said that I'd be careful with it and hide it in with the rest of my things. So I hid it in my boot when I packed my stuff. \n\nIn the end, I never gave it to my friend. I couldn't, the fragile crack pipe broke in my boot on the plane ride back.", "summary": "I bought a crack pipe in full view of a church group, despite their suggestions not to. I hid it in a boot and smuggled it to the United States where it then broke in the boot I smuggled it in."} {"id": "t3_32lq9m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [32 M] with my Wife's[28 F] married 5 years, Depression during menstrual cycle, part to do with my vasectomy.", "post": "This has happened about three times in the past and just last cycle. So I'm guessing it will happen again.\n\nOur youngest will be 3 in June(two total, oldest is 4), so our baby is no longer a baby. And the 2 kids don't require SAHM's attention every moment anymore. \n\nSomething to do with the hormones and then tying back to the vasectomy and the fact that no more babies are coming, sends her into a depression. She says that when she is not menstruating that she is fine and understands why we stopped at two. \n\nI'm just looking for advice on how to better support her. I usually just listen to how she's feeling and hold her while she cries on and off. But in all honesty I simply can't empathize properly and have told her this apologetically. I just feel so lost and helpless when she is like this. \n\nReversal and more kids is not financially feasible.", "summary": "Wife gets depressed when she has her cycle, part has to do with my vasectomy and that there will be no more babies."} {"id": "t3_1g0vrf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[21M] with [19F]. Dating 4 months. Cheating emotionally or physically? Over thinking?", "post": "My girlfriend (19f) and I (21m) have been dating for four months. I'm honestly a jealous guy. She went to a party with her friends from college and came back with a new guy \"friend\". They snap chat and text. Idk what they talk about but she says just \"hey what's up\". I caught her in a lie before about talking to her ex boyfriend bc she doesn't wanna give up her friends. I know the ex still wants her and the new guy likes her. She says it doesn't matter as long as she knows that their just friends. I'm tired of stressing over it. Can't stop thinking about what she's really talking about with this new guy since they send pictures through snap chat.", "summary": "(19f) goes to party with friends. Leaves with a guys number and labels him as friend and texts and snap chats him."} {"id": "t3_4tjfwc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [19M] with my [15/F] sister who was recently adopted, how can I make her feel better?", "post": "Hey guys!My sister is going through some tough times. She's lived with us for about half a yearish + now but we're all still getting to know eachother and forming strong relationships. As a side note its always been just me,my brothers and my dad. we lsot our mom when we were young so we never really had a female presence around. I'm the oldest and i'm trying to come up with things to do/have fun/bond. She's doing a thing for school (like a club thing) so its her first time meeeting people at the new school. she's super hesitant and is having a bunch of anxiety. Now she's talking about how she doesnt want anyone to know we are related so she has less eyes/attention on her at school (my 3 brothers attend the same school and its not a super big school but they're a bit popular with one of them being captain of a sports team).What can we do to comfort her/ease her tension?", "summary": "Little sister facing anxiety with going to school and dealing with a lot of stuff so how can we help her feel better?"} {"id": "t3_10doeg", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "High School Problems! I figured Reddit was a great source of help!", "post": "Hey r/loseit,\nI am a 17 year old male in high school, and I've run into some problems.\nI used to be pretty fit and slim back as a freshman (150ish, 5'10''), but as i have stopped sports to pursue music, lacked a healthy diet, and has put some weight back on (170-180, 5'11''). All of the fat goes to my lower stomach, and you can start to tell on my face.\n\nI am a super busy person with music, student government, and other extra curricular activities, so eating healthy is a huge problem for me, and I am a HUGE snack person. I have never been able to lift a whole lot either. I was a cross country person for a while, and I can still run fairly well, it's just having the motivational to do it.\n\nWhat should I do, and where should I start?", "summary": "I am a high school boy who would really like to cut pounds and become fit again, but need some help knowing how."} {"id": "t3_31ittx", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by reading an ex's message", "post": "So this just happened yesterday, and this is definitely a bit more of a tamer fuck up than most but still.\n\nBacktrack to yesterday, just about to wake up and of course I'm horny as fuck for absolutely no reason. So just as I was about to go for the good ol' 30 second rub and tug, I get a message on Facebook from an ex. \"Fucking great it's like 7 am\". Pop open my phone and saw a pretty long preview message. So what do I do instead of finishing myself off? I stop and read it like a fucking idiot.\n\nPretty much her mother passed away and she needed someone to talk to. Before responding to her message, I took a second reminiscing of how great she was. And you probably already know how this one ends, I start stalking her pictures and end up beating the meat.\n\nFelt like shit after the end of the 10 second golden age and I still have yet to talk to her.", "summary": "jerking off, got a message from ex saying her mom died, then jerked off to her(not her mom)"} {"id": "t3_2fyuda", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [27/F] getting mixed signals from this guy [30/M] I have been talking to/dating for about a month and a half.", "post": "So I met this guy on a dating site about a month and a half ago. He is really sweet, has his life together, he also has a daughter that lives with him full time. At first he really pursued me. I was talking to multiple guys and dating at the time, but he consistently texted me and it was kinda nice to be chased. He mentioned he wanted to meet up and I agreed so after about a month of texting we went out. \n\nThe date was ok. I am really shy so there were so awkward moments. After the date he texted me and said he hoped I had fun and that he had fun to. We didn't text as much after the date but I still really liked him. I felt a connection I guess. Anyways, I asked him if he wanted to hangout again and he said he would try and figure out a time to hang out and then set up to have me come over. \n\nI went to his house and we hit it off, ended up making out, messing around, but didn't have sex. The next day he texted me good morning right at 4am when I wake up for work (prior to our first date he always texted me good morning, then after the date he didn't as much), and texted me throughout the days following. It was like he was super interested again. When we text he asks about my day, tells me about his. Whenever I try to get a little dirty and playful, he says something sweet like he misses me instead of playing into the sexual stuff. It is kinda refreshing. He is always really silly and playful with me. \n\nHe says he likes me and wants to get to know me more. But if this is the case, and with the way he is acting when he texts me, why does it seems like he doesn't want to see me. It's like pulling teeth to get him to ask me out. He says he is busy, which is genuinely believe, but still. If he didn't like me, wouldn't he just let this die and move on to the next girl??", "summary": "He texts me all the time, super playful and sweet, says he likes me, but it's like pulling teeth to get him to hang out. Is he really busy?"} {"id": "t3_1invo8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me and my brother.", "post": "So I'm a 20-year-old soon to be college senior who is living at home with his parents for the summer. Likely the last summer with them as well, seeing as I'll have graduated by next summer. Besides me and my parents, there's my youngest brother, who is 17, and the other brother, we'll call George (not his real name) who is 19.\n\nGeorge is the middle child and started acting up when he was around 15 or 16. He's always been rebellious, but when my dad was hospitalized my senior year of high school he really went off the deep end--dropping out of high school, getting busted for weed, etc. etc. When my dad was in the hospital (for around 9 months) he gave my mother **hell** for those 9 months. He stole my parents' car numerous times, stole from the family, etc. etc.\n\nAnyways, he's a problem child, and it's been time for him to have been gone for quite a while. He's stolen over $1,000 in tools and supplies from my dad, and stolen from me (just from memory)\n\n-xbox 360\n-3 xbox 360 hard drives (which he pawned for $2 a piece)\n-3 xbox 360 controllers\n-around 10 or so xbox games\n-well over 300 dollars in cash (as well as numerous debit transactions)\n-cell phones\n-my car (which he's brought back reeking of cigarettes and pot)\n\nmy parents want to kick him out, because he's completely disrespectful and blames my parents for not raising him right essentially. barely got a job as it is (he works 8 hours a week at chick-fil-a), doesn't help around the house, and is a complete jerk to my parents. oh, and he got my 17 year old brother into cocaine. \n\nessentially though, they're scared that if they kick him out, he'll end up in jail with a marijuana charge or something of the sort and never get a job (it's already a cycle for him at 19. imagine him on his own at 25.) what should they do?", "summary": "my brother's a jerk but he's still my parents' son and doesn't want to see him end up in jail or prison. They haven't given up on him. should they?"} {"id": "t3_2bj7zi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I'm [21M] thinking of visiting my ex-girlfriend [24F], just as a friend", "post": "We were really good friends before we went out, then we went out for about a year. She broke up with me 6 months ago, and I haven't seen her since, although we still chat from time to time on Facebook.\n\nAnyway, she lives in a different city to me, which I'm going to next week, and I reckon I'm going to stop by and say hello to her and her family. She's definitely over me, so there's no danger on that front. It took me a month or two of no contact and spending time with other people, but now we have fun chatting like we used to, and I don't think of her that way anymore either.\n\nSince I have less experience of breakups and relationships than some of the people on here, just wondered if this is a bad idea. I should add that she responded positively when I mentioned the idea to her.", "summary": "Thinking of visiting ex-girlfriend, fairly sure that neither of us has motives other than friendship. Dangerous? Can exes be friends?"} {"id": "t3_g82lh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, where do you shop for (semi-nice) casual clothes?", "post": "I am starting grad school soon in le big city and I don't want everyone to *immediately* know that I am a poor country bumpkin. I have formal clothes (nice suit/dress shirts/slacks), but I am at a loss when it comes to casual wear. I typically sport old band tshirts, dickies type shorts and canvas shoes; basically I've had little need to update my attire since ~2002. Everything has holes in it :/ and this has never bothered me till now (I am a little perturbed that it should bother me at all).\n\nDoes anyone live in nyc, have any idea where to shop (pref. online) for early 20's semi-professional kind of look? Is this even how grad students dress?", "summary": "In a few months I will be walking into grad classes at Columbia, and I'd like to do my best not to look foolish."} {"id": "t3_4vue22", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 M] with virtually no friends, is it me? Is it too late for me to make good friendships?", "post": "I'm 29 and don't really have any friends. The few that I do have are so preoccupied with their lives that our communication is incredibly sparse. I find I'm fundamentally different than most people I meet, I care deeply about politics, not at all for sports, I love reading, especially math/music/computer science books, etc. I find I am a pretty deep thinker, perhaps more than is normal and it's hard for me to connect with someone who doesn't wonder about anything. \n\nThere are a few friendships I could have made along the way but I felt those individuals were not really sincere, but now I'm beginning to think maybe I just have to high of expectations from people? Maybe I should expect that most people don't TRULY deeply care about you unless you're their romantic interest. There was a guy who was similar too me but ultimately, our relationship didn't grow into as amazing as a friendship as I thought we could have had, namely because our communication was mainly one-way--me reaching out to him, and never quite the other way.\n\nMy most recent gf left me, we were arguing too much. She was pretty immature and I am impatient, but maybe I'm just too impatient and it leads to a short temper. Idk. I don't know if it's me, the reason I'm essentially....alone. I just want to make good relationships, I don't want to be alone. I don't want to grow old and die alone because I never made good friendships. Is it too late for me? If I haven't made good friendships by now, am I doomed?", "summary": "Recently dumped over a failed relationship, no really close friends. I'm pretty much completely alone, generally am, despite not wanting to be. Is it too late for me to make great, close, friendships? Relationships?"} {"id": "t3_vksud", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend lives with a girl he used to be in a relationship with, it's making me paranoid and I don't want it to ruin the relationship.", "post": "I've dated him for a month now, and I managed to misplace his trust just recently because of this girl that he lives with. They dated whilst living out of home and I know very little of there past history mainly because I try to avoid information like that due to my emotions/ irrational paranoia. It's scaring me because I tell myself to not panic and to be rational, but due to the break up I took, prior, with my ex which left me depressed for a long time, I didn't want to find myself in that situation again. I don't want to lose his trust but I don't want to sacrifice my time and effort for something seemingly not worth it. \n\nIf he turns his attention away from me and to her, and then finds that he doesn't need to talk to me that often, what should I think? How should I deal with it? They say that they're just friends but she gets angry when he doesn't tell her certain things about what he's doing, and he feels guilty for not telling her. Is that normal?\n\nWhy am I here? Why does he want me? She seems like a nice and polite person, but no way is she honest with me. I mean, it's like I'm just getting in the way of there friendship. When they're friendship is so much closer than our relationship, then what is the point? It leaves me so paranoid and I can't go through that feeling again. What should I do?", "summary": "I feel like I'm the other girl in a relationship with a guy who is still in a close 'friendship' with his female house mate ex-gf. We are all in our Mid 20's."} {"id": "t3_2t6v98", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "The girl like messaged me.", "post": "So about a year ago i met this girl called...well lets call her gemma. I met gemma at this acting class I go to on a Wednesday and she was well, she was beautiful. so we started speaking a little more at it was evident that there was some potential here(well i thought there was). however me being me im a nervous wreck and never had the courage to ask her out because shes like way out my league and i have never done anything like that before. So as the year comes to an end and the class ends with the long summer break. over this time gemma have moved to a different group and we haven't spoken for like 6 months.\n\n So anyway, ages pass and I just woke from a nap(today) to see that i a friend request from gemma But in her name there was only one M.witch i thought was a bit weird but didn't think too much of it. So this gema starts speaking in boxing to be about how she hates being single. so me being the moron i an said something dumb and i asked her out and she said \"yes\" all was going great i felt great that the girl i had wanted for ages was going on a date with me. she was also being very flirty with me saying shit like \"ive always wanted to kiss your lips\". everything was nice until she asked for my login info, my heart sank in to my chest with the realization it was a fake. so i quickly look on my Facebook news feed to see the real gemma made at post sitting there right on the top, saying something along the lines of \"there is a fake account called \"gema\" and asking people all sorts of stuff\". If i was on my PC i probs would of seen it but i was on my tablet and only had the conversation open the whole time and it coved up the whole seen. looking back on this I should of seen something like this coming because im not that good looking for someone as good looking as gemma to be wanting to go out with me. I feel so much like an idiot. \n\nIm not that dumb tho, I didnt give my password out. thank fuck.", "summary": "A fake acount of the girl i have a crush on spoke to me i asked her out she said yes, then asked me for my login info and i feel really dumb."} {"id": "t3_3bo4wy", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by planning a trip to Las Vegas with a friend.", "post": "This fuck up started on Thursday but I just found out today.\n\nA little background, my friend, we'll call her M, has to go to Las Vegas for a work conference. She told me and a mutual friend/coworker that for some reason they booked her a hotel room with two beds and that it would be cool if someone could go with her. I had to decline at the time because of other plans. Last week those plans got cancelled so I was freed up to go on the Vegas trip. Here's where the fuck up starts.\n\nI asked her if she still wanted someone to come with her. She said that would be fun and that the rooms is paid for so all I would have to pay for is the ticket and food. I got her flight info so I could book the same flights. \n\nThen I say \"I'm about to buy a ticket, you're sure you want me to come?\" She said yes. I buy my ticket and tell her I have booked a ticket for the same flight she's on. Then we had a brief conversation about how excited we are and that I've never been to Las Vegas.\n\nToday, our mutual friend is sick so I told her not to get me sick since I'm going to Las Vegas in less than two weeks with M. She thought I was joking because M hadn't said anything to her about it. I text M and ask if we're keeping it a secret. M said she didn't mention it because she thought I was joking about going. Also she said I can't sleep in the second bed in her hotel room.\n\nSo now I have a non-refundable flight to Las Vegas and nowhere to stay.", "summary": "Planned a trip to Las Vegas with someone who thought I was joking. I'm going to Vegas but have no where to sleep."} {"id": "t3_3393k0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is it too much to ask that my[30F] MIL[52F] purchase current age appropriate gifts for my daughter[3F]?", "post": "My daughter just celebrated her 3rd birthday, a birthday theme & suggested gift list was provided to the grandparents a couple months prior to the birthday party. I have taken to doing this so that we don't end up with a bunch of unwanted presents I'm stuck returning.\n\nThe specific gift in question, this year, is a Little People Race Car Carrier Play Set (discontinued by mfg; release date: 9/30/10), that has no doubt been sitting in her house for almost 5 years b/c she forgot she purchased it for her grandson[8M]. It is no longer sold in stores and it's clearly a \"boy\" toy, I would have no issues if my daughter was interested in cars, but she is not. She likes many things, dolls, play dough, animals, certain furry red monsters & friends, creepy large headed button eyed rag dolls, playing in the dirt, yelling & screaming, but has no specific interest in planes, trains or automobiles.\n\nMIL context - she is about 3 years away from going full blown Hoarders: Buried Alive. Since my bridal shower (2008) I have received large boxes of \"found\" \"saved\" \"got a great deal on\" \"it's sort of like what you registered for\" gifts from this woman. She means well, but does not appreciate quality over quantity. My husband [31M] has had conversation with her regarding this before, which seemed to help with our gifts, but has not helped with our daughters gifts.", "summary": "Tired of receiving unusable non-returnable gifts from \"hoarder\" MIL. How to best confront her about this, and what do I do with the non-returnable gifts, donate, re-gift?"} {"id": "t3_1luw4q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Do I [23M] keep this going or do I end it now, tactfully, with girl [22F] I'm seeing?", "post": "Hi Reddit. I am a 23 yo male who got out of a 1.5 year relationship about 3 months ago. Two weeks ago I met this girl [22F] through okcupid and ever since we have been hanging out all the time. Sleeping over seeing each other at least every other day. She helped me move. She came to see a hockey game I played in.\n\nShe said to me yesterday that its like we've known each other for months..\n\nNow we haven't had sex but we've we have fooled around sexually including orgasm. She wants to be more committed before we have actual sex. Which I'm fine with.\n\nHere's my problem. I want to focus on work, exercise, hockey,and my friends who I neglected during my last relationship. I really like this girl but we've seen so much of each other I'm starting to feel pressured and like I'm in a relationship. I know that once I start feeling this way it will progress unless I have significant distance.\n\nI must mention that she works in the building down the block from me, so I can and have seen her a lot.\n\nHow do I end this tactfully? I've only known her for two weeks but I'm not really interested anymore. Do I send a polite message or phone call? \nProbably see her in person..\n\nI don't need this drama in my life.\n\nWe are supposed to go out tonight but I want to cancel and just have a day to myself with out feeling this way.", "summary": "seen a lot of this girl I've been dating the past few weeks. Now turned off and want to know how to proceed."} {"id": "t3_l0wmt", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What do colleges care about most?", "post": "I'm in my junior year of high school and I think I'm cracking from stress. I really care about college and getting scholarships, so I've been mostly focusing on academics. I think I'm in **at least** top 25 of my class. I took an AP class and got a 4 my sophomore year and have gotten at least a 90 in all of my honors classes. I was in only one club for both sophomore and freshman years, and I did winter and spring track both years.I'm in a math honors society. \n \nThis year, I'm taking 4 college courses (3 are APs) and they're a LOT more difficult than my courses last year. I can handle my club once a week and taking these courses (just barely), but I keep getting told by adults that I NEED more extra-curriculars. I don't think I could handle it on top of doing track, too. Starting November, I won't be getting home until at least 5, and then I would like to take an hour for showering/eating. I don't think I'd have the dedication to complete all of my work to my full potential. \n \nMy goal is NOT to go to one of the \"top\" schools. I want to go to a good school, but my priority isn't getting into an Ivy League school for college. Maybe transfer after a year or two, maybe, but they're pricey and I've heard they don't offer many scholarships.", "summary": "I want to focus on my grades only (+2 ECs) after doing 2 years of \"year-round\" track. "} {"id": "t3_2by7nz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (20F) mother (50sF) despises me for not letting her have access to my bank account information.", "post": "I'll try to make this brief.\n\nIn order to build up my credit my mother and I made a deal: I would open up a credit card from my bank in my name and she would pay the bill after seeing the transactions. It is set up to where you log on to one account and you can see all my accounts besides the credit card (my two savings and personal checking). The savings and checking accounts are all funds I have earned or saved from gifts. \n\nI have never denied my mother from seeing the transactions on my credit card. Whenever she asks I happily take screen shots and send them to her (I used to just show her in person but now I have moved.) She is upset that I do this and won't give her access to all my accounts. She claims she wants to balance her books correctly but my personal money has nothing to do with her books. It's my money and I don't want anyone to have access to it. \n\nShe accuses me of being \"so secretive\" with my accounts when I simply don't want anyone to have access to my money. I see it as it is non of her business but she sees it as you're my daughter, show me your money. \n\nAm I wrong for no giving her access to my accounts? What should I do? I don't have a job, after continuously looking and applying I still haven't gotten any calls, and I'm afraid she will get angry and stick with me the bill and drain my savings.", "summary": "Mother (50s) wants access to all my banking accounts but I (20F) don't want her to. She gets extremely angry and yells whenever I tell her no."} {"id": "t3_25itgc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (17/F) can't seem to get over my ex (18/M). It's been five months since it ended", "post": "He was my first boyfriend and pretty much my first everything. I was also his first girlfriend and whatnot. We got together during the summer before my senior year, his junior year. \n\nWhat I didn't know was that he's a total pot-head. I didn't mind, except for the times when he'd go blaze instead of meeting me for a date ... yknow. All that. \n\nHe also got kicked out of school because a teacher found ganj in his bag, so into the first month of the school year, we were going to different schools. These schools aren't even that far from each other, probably like a 10 minute bus ride.\n\nI was pretty close with his family; his mother and father both have my number and I have theirs. His younger siblings really liked me (probably more me than him sometimes).\n\nOn New Year's Eve, he broke up with me via text without any real explanation and cut off all contact with me. He blocked me on IG and deleted his FB and, even worse, he did the same thing to my friends.\n\nI feel like I never really got over him. I went through a horrible rebound stage. I saw him once at a school fair and almost cried. Now that school's ending, I'm struggling with feelings of inadequacy. I wasn't able to keep a boyfriend for more than six months and I'm graduating and I haven't really ever had a stable relationship. \n\nI feel like I'm missing out so much and that I'm missing him more than usual. I don't want to miss him! I don't want to forget either, I just don't want to be sad. It's easy for people to say \"just learn to be happy\" but that is easier said than done.", "summary": "With graduation approaching, I keep thinking fondly about my ex (also first bf). Is this normal? How do I move on?"} {"id": "t3_2ygpho", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [30/F] with my [35/M] bf of 5 months struggling with \"alone\" time.", "post": "I'll try to keep it short. I'm divorced with two small toddlers (twins). I reconnected with someone I dated and was friends with in the past and we have been seeing each other for five months. The relationship is wonderful so far. \n\nNow, as a mother of toddler twins, you can imagine that my time is devoted to them when I'm not working. Their father does not take them overnight and so the majority of their care falls on me (with the exception of a few hours on Saturday and Sunday in the afternoon). \n\nThe bf has an active social life and goes out with his friends one night every week. The friends are a mix of what I would describe as a younger crowd of guys and girls. They typically go to bars (a few are bartenders). Now, I'm a fan of girls and guys nights out, but I admit I'm a little bit bothered by this in part due to the frequency and length, in part because of where they go, in part because the girls don't seem to have any concept of boundaries and are on the \"wilder\" side, and in part because I don't get to go. I know I should probably put my big girls pants on but I can't seem to shake these feelings. \n\nI don't want to become bitter and I don't want to take him away from his friends. But I admit I'm a little bit sad. Have any other divorced parents with kids been in this situation? Does it get easier with time?", "summary": "Trapped with two small kids, dating someone who has an active social life. Trying to reconcile various elements now that I am seeing someone."} {"id": "t3_1zi65m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with my SO [23 F] 7 months, I feel smothered", "post": "I have been with my gf for about 7 months now. I have always been a pretty independent person (in relationships and out of them) and enjoy my alone time. My GF seems to always want to be around and thinks that I am mad when I do not want to spend time with her. I guess my question is, at this point in our relationship, is it fair to have a couple nights a week of personal time that I don't want to spend the night with her? \n\nI have told her I need space but she doesn't seem to understand since she is so extroverted and wants to be around people all the time. For reference, we see each other probably 6 out of 7 days. We work in the same company although in unrelated departments. We often have lunch together. I will invite her over to stay the night from time to time and she always stays 3-4 nights in a row when I only had the intention of having her stay one night. I constantly feel pressure from her to move our relationship forward. She is wedding crazy and I feel like she is trying to push me towards that way to fast. I would say on average we spend 4-5 nites a week together. \n\nThe most recent 'fight' occurred when I stayed at her place Friday night and spent all day Saturday with her...left Saturday night, told her I wanted to be alone Sunday. I agreed that we could hang out tonite (Monday) but she had to work late so I told her another night. She got home at 9pm and got mad that I didn't want to come over. She then began to ask me why I never want to hang out with her.. I have never had a relationship that has required this much of my time and energy this early. I guess I am trying to determine if she is being weird or I am being weird. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.", "summary": "My GF wants to spend more time together but I feel we already spend plenty of time together. Which of us is being weird?"} {"id": "t3_kyzm5", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, I am a teenager in need of assistance. Help to avenge your socially awkward teenage self.", "post": "So a little bit about myself. I am a 15 year old sophomore who attends a small private school (<50 kids in high school) and I really need a girlfriend. There was a girl but she has a boyfriend out of state+she has a bit of a crush on one of the seniors, who I truly cannot compete with. But my real problem is that I have no real friends at this school and no girl ever seems to have any interest in me at all. I would like to know why.\nBasically I don't consider myself ugly. I am 6'6\" and 155lbs so I guess I am a bit skinny, but actually am fairly muscular. I have a slight acne problem, but really at this age who doesn't. For the most part I am quite confident and often called the funniest guy in school. And not even in a class clown type way. I am on the State Champion Basketball team and have a 4.0 GPA.\nSorry for the awful OP, I have had a really bad week and am just rambling/making this up as I go along.\nThanks in advance!", "summary": "I would like advice on how to be more liked and get all of the ladies, as well as where the hell to get all of them ladies."} {"id": "t3_24imsl", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Unsure of how to find a part time job for the summer. No luck so far", "post": "Hey Reddit, I'm a 21 year old female and I can't seem to find a decent summer job.\n\nFor the past two summers, I worked at my community college where we had a learning assistance center where I tutored math through calculus. We were always swamped with people who needed help with their summer classes.\n\n However, when I transferred to a university in January, I lost my job. I tutor for my university currently, but it's individually based instead of hourly like my old job. I finished my semester last week and will start my spring classes that run three days a week from 9-11am.\n\nI fell into my first job because I was good at math and my school recruited me. I'm not sure how to go about looking for a part time summer job. I've applied for a bunch of part time nannying jobs on care.com with no luck. I know I will have to quit for fall semester because I have such a heavy course load.\n\nAny advice for looking for summer time work? I hold an Associate's degree in science. My current university doesnt have much to offer.", "summary": "I need a job for the summer but will have to quit for fall. Not sure where to look for that short time for work."} {"id": "t3_1am8ee", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "HALP! I want to get into comics but need suggestions.", "post": "So here's the deal Reddit, I LOVED the recently ended (my heart still aches) Young Justice series. Because of this I feel like I would really enjoy superhero comics if I was lead in the right direction. I really liked reading about each characters powers and their origin stories but that was all on Wikipedia. I want the real thing. Where should I start though? I tried reading an old Teen Titans comic a while back but got bored and distracted pretty easily. I know I would respond better to something more modern, sorry if that makes me a heretic :/. So anywho, any suggestions on a good place to start for a new comic book reader would be very appreciated. Thanks!", "summary": "I'm new to comics but Young Justice is one of my all time favorite shows. What are some good comics for someone like me?"} {"id": "t3_2ioxwk", "subreddit": "self", "title": "Has a new location encouraged you to change your habits?", "post": "I've lived in the same city in LA for nearly 21 years (my whole life), and I'm seriously ready to gtfo. I have Colorado in mind; I've never been (I'm planning to soon), but I just feel like my heart will feel at home there. I've always been drawn to nature, serenity, and outdoor activities.\n\nThe problem is, I'm a shy home-body, almost a hermit. It's how I've grown up to be, and I want to change that. I've been living practically in the same spot my entire life, so I don't feel excited to try new things, get out and explore, or meet new people (it's incredibly hard where I live..everyone is out for themselves here). I don't feel encouraged by the city's energy and go-go-go mentality. I just feel trapped, and I hate the vibes here! I want to feel free and get away from the pollution, both physical and mental. I feel that if I move (and I might be idealizing this) I'll be forced outside of my comfort zone and thrown into a new place where I have every opportunity to explore and try new things. I know that change is internal and I have to make changes now and not rely/wait on moving to a new location.", "summary": "Has moving to a new location has helped you create better habits for yourself due to the new stimulating and inspirational energy of where you moved to?"} {"id": "t3_38vgjf", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "New home = New aggression problems", "post": "Hello!\n\nI come to this sub in the hopes that i could get some help with my 1 year old Pitbull mix. Otis is a very friendly and loving dog. He gets along just fine with people and random people on the street during walks. At my old house he had a 7 year old chihuahua as a friend and for the most part they got along just fine. We would have the occasional problem with Otis being too big to play with the little chihuahua.\n\nWe moved to a new home this month so Otis had a lot of new things to get used to. One main thing is that now he has neighbor dogs to deal with. The people to the left of me have dachshund\\wiener dogs while the neighbors behind me have a pitbull and german shepard. \n\nI usually let Otis out every couple hours to get some fresh air and to run around. Recently he's been very aggressive towards the dachshunds and to be honest its kind of scary. He will bark and even bite at the fence as if hes pissed off. He WONT listen to any commands and when i put his leash on the fights me and tugs just so he can get back to the fence. As soon as he is back in the house he goes back to being the mellow friendly giant that he is. \n\nI don't want to have a bad impression with my new neighbors. Lately he will come out back and try to say hello and be causal with otis. He's a nice guy so i would have to have problems later on down the road. \n\nWhere should I go from here? should I speak to a vet about neutering him? Should i seek professional help? I'm not one to give up on a dog so i just want to see if there are options. I'd appreciate any help or advice!", "summary": "New home and my pitbull gets very aggressive with dogs on other side of the fence. He WONT obey to any commands and tugs and pulls when tried to move away. looking for advice"} {"id": "t3_48ze1a", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I've lost the love of my life.", "post": "Truth is, that I'm not coping at all. He ended it, just short of being together a year, completely out of the blue for me, and it has crushed me ever since. I haven't eaten for 4 days, and I just don't care for my life anymore. In a matter of days I have gone from a bubbly girl [19], doing everything she could to succeed at uni, to a wreck, who can't even bring herself to look in the mirror.\n\n Without him [19], I feel like nothing. After my restless nights, I always wake up to the dread and realisation that it is all over. I want him back but I don't know how, and I just don't understand why this all happened. 2 weeks ago we would have just finished having our most passionate sex for a long time.", "summary": "I just feel used now. The night before he ended it, he told me he loved me, less than 24 hours later, he expected me to just be okay with it. "} {"id": "t3_4awngz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (M17) need advice on asking out a girl with severe social anxiety (F17)", "post": "A little backstory, I am a high school senior that had to switch from public school to a home school program because of family reasons, and I generally don't get to meet new people so I asked a (female) friend of mine who is a bit of a social butterfly if she could point me in the direction of some fun people to talk to. One of the people she recommended (based off of my interests) was a girl who doesn't have many friends and suffers from social anxiety (doesn't like going out or generally feel comfortable around people)\n\nAnyways, i messaged this girl, lets call her kate, and we've been talking for about a week. We have very similar tastes, mostly in books, fairly obscure \"underground\" music, and the sciences. We're (in my view) hitting it off quite well, she messages me after school if i don't get to her first, is generally very quick to respond, funny, kind, thoughtful. i got her phone number. \n\nMoving to the main point, I am interested in possibly forming a relationship with her, but I don't quite know exactly how to go about it. I asked our mutual friend, and she said she'd only had one boyfriend in her freshman year who got bored with her and left her for a different girl, she also said that she had no idea how she would react if i asked her out, and was kinda protective of her.\n(For backstories sake I also have not dated since my freshman year).\n\nAnyways (again) I want to ask her out, but i don't know what to say to her at all. I'm not super obsessed or anything, i just think she's sweet and it's very rare for me to find anyone who shares even a few of my tastes, and would love to get to know her better, but I don't want to wait too long to the point where she just sees me as a friend and I make her think I was being dishonest with my intentions the entire time.", "summary": "I want to ask out a girl I've been texting for a week that has social anxiety but I don't know how to go about it*"} {"id": "t3_4n03y7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend [23M] tends to point out my [25M] flaws", "post": "Hi everyone,\n\nThis is my first post here - I actually made this account because I wanted to hear people's thoughts on this. \n\nI've been dating my boyfriend for only about 2.5 months, and he seems like a great guy with a good head on his shoulders. He likes to have deep conversations about who we are and what we value, which I appreciate because I'm pretty self-reflective too. \n\nOne thing I've noticed is that he tends to point out things I do that I consider to be flaws. This has happened a few times. He says things like \"I notice that you sometimes need approval from me before doing something\" or \"you seem like a people pleaser\". Now, I know these things about myself, but I also don't like them and I want to work on them. Last night he brought up another one (the people pleaser one) and I talked to him about it, but he didn't seem to mind bringing these things up. He says he doesn't judge me for it, but then why did he bring it up?\n\nI know a lot of this has to do with my own discomfort about my flaws and someone seeing them. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience? I'm feeling pretty awful about it, and I feel like it would be helpful even to just know that I'm not alone in experiencing this.", "summary": "My boyfriend seems to point out my flaws a fair bit, and even though he says he doesn't judge me, it's making me feel awful. Anyone else experienced this?"} {"id": "t3_yyasq", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Need some advice", "post": "A little background ever since I was little I was always the fat kid who could probably run faster than you. I've always been into sports but stayed chubby. I guess I was never motivated to do anything about losing the fat until I decided to join a soccer team. After a year I had changed so much I felt good even with the little gut I had. It didn't last long though :( It all went downhill again when I hurt my knee. I wasn't able to run without a pulsating pain going through my knee. I tried to work through the pain but had given up and fell into depression. I went to physical therapy and it helped out but now I can't seem to find the motivation to do something. I'll always waste my time and when it's too late say ughhh I'll do it tomorrow in the morning, hit the snooze button in the morning and say i'll do it in the evening and well you know .", "summary": "Have always been bigger, lost some weight, messed up knee, got bigger again,knee got better but I have no motivation anymore HELP ME."} {"id": "t3_1buu7f", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I(19M) like my friend (22F) who is thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend.", "post": "Btw, Sorry for using a throw away, the girl in question knows my main account.\n\nHi, I (19M) am quite attracted to my best friend (22F), but before now there hasn't ever been any time that i could really do anything about it and not be an asshole (because she has had a boyfriend).\nBackstory: 2 years ago, she was my boss when we used to work together. We didnt really become out of work friends until after i quit that job.\nThen last spring, we really hit it off and became extremely close. We would hangout, go to clubs, ect (at this time she had a fairly new boyfriend)\nOne night after we went to a club, on her way home at 3:30 AM she got into a bad car accident and was rushed to the hospital. I was the only person she called from the ambulance. So i run to the hospital and stay the next 2 days with her until she was discharged. During this time, her boyfriend came for about 2 hours, and her grandmother for about 4 hours. After she was discharged, she moved in with her boyfriend of ~2 weeks because she had no car to go to / from work.\nAbout 2 months pass and she tells me she plans on breaking up with her boyfriend when he leaves for college out of state (3 hour drive away) because she is looking for a long term relationship, and she cant do that with someone she cant hold a conversation with. But alas, she remains with him.\nI get a job with her again, he moves back here, she moves out. Then about a week ago she was telling me how she really wants to break up with him, but one of the things holding her back is that he wouldn't take it well... but she has a LOT of things that she hates about him.\nOverall, my end goal is to end up dating her and i'm looking for advice on how to move forward.", "summary": "I(19M) like my best friend(22F), but i have made no advances due to her having a boyfriend. but its looking like she wont be dating him for much longer. How should i move forward?"} {"id": "t3_iev5b", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what is the worst you've ever screwed up when trying to impress someone?", "post": "I'll start. I went to meet this girl, beautiful, smart, funny, ect. we agreed on a time and place, and even both showed up early, but sat at separate table for a good 30 minutes, I even saw her friend walk in after a while, which kinda clued me in that something was up. Anywho, a few minutes later, I see her and her friend heading out of the restaurant, so I flag them down. Awkward moment #1 my stomach does a back-flip. I feel like an idiot so I start to clam up a little bit, I but stay calm enough to continue the conversation. Eventually it comes up that she is doing some essays for the peace corps. I've known this gorl for a while, I consider it big news, she makes a joke and keeps talking. At this point my brain is racing, but on a completely lateral line of thought, the conversation has a lull, and I'm asked to speak up a little. Kinda went deer in headlights, after a few minutes of awkwardness her friend leaves. My stomach decides to get a little crazy and goes for the triple somersault. I hold it for a second, but barely say anything. minutes later, I throw up in my mouth. Thinking on my feet, I swallow it. She notices (duh) and excuses me from the table, I stand, walk to the door, and puke all over the ground. Feeling like the worlds largest idiot, I make my way to the bathroom, I actually coughed a few chunks up while walking past another table. Clean up, make my way back out, feeling like shit, I'm in an even less talkative mood, pretty much saying little more then sorry about the puking, and mention a bug I might have gotten, which may or may not be true. she says, oh looks it's 2, gotta jet. maybe things will go better next time", "summary": "showed up for lunch with an old flame, sat in opposite sides of the restaurant 'till she left (and had called a friend for company) then blew chunks all over the place"} {"id": "t3_4thx3u", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (21 M) am not sure where I stand with this girl (27F)I've been smoking weed and sleeping (like literally just sleeping) with.", "post": "I asked her out awhile ago and she said yes, I kinda got the vibe she didn't take me seriously because of the age difference, but the first time we hung out we smoked and drank, and slept in the same bed. The only mixed feelings I got from that was she slept and walked around half naked in front of me. But again because of the age difference, I didn't think much of it. We had plans to hang out a couple more times but she kept flaking and seemed a little distant so I decided to give up, take a hint and quit talking to her. \n\nAfter about a week of not talking I saw her Friday and she was flirty and touchy with me. She asked me to hang out and we did the same thing has the first time. When we were going to sleep she kept getting closer to me but I didn't make a move, well in the morning she initiated cuddling with me and kept shoving her ass into my boner. I had to leave and she asked what we were gonna do on our days off, and I said I'll let you know later. How should I proceed? I still don't know if she likes me because of the age difference and how she acted after we first hung out until I quit showing interest and then she started doing these things. Am I overthinking this all?", "summary": "I can't tell if an older girl likes me, went from being distant to cuddling half naked with her ass against my dick after I quit showing interest."} {"id": "t3_2syr9r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Insecurity/anxiety caused by non-exlusive dating?", "post": "I'm a 30-year-old man. When I meet a new woman and we start hanging out/dating, I'm always overwhelmed with insecurity and anxiety knowing that she's seeing other guys too. The current example is with a 23/F that I met on Match.com. We've had three great dates, text, Snapchat, etc. pretty often, and still get along well, but I know she's going on dates with other guys and this bothers me (although I know it shouldn't). I, too, am going on other dates, but seeing as this girl is incredibly beautiful and the online dating game is skewed in favor of women, I feel like it's inevitable that she'll meet someone better than me and lose interest in me. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what's the best way to deal with these emotions so I don't ruin what could potentially be a good thing?", "summary": "Non-exclusive dating causes me insecurity and anxiety, and I'm looking for ways in which to reduce these negative emotions."} {"id": "t3_339dch", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23M] have trouble communicating with my [23F] SO", "post": "We've been together almost 5 years, and both close to graduating undergrad (both plan on pursuing higher ed). \n\nWe've had more highs than I can count, but a good amount of lows too. Most of those are due to the fact that a lot of time when we have serious discussions (like issues with the relationship or sometimes if she is just trying to correct me on something) I usually freeze up, stonewall, or I get extremely nervous and stop being productive in the conversation. She can always tell when I'm getting upset and when she'll ask me if she said something that upset me or if something else was bothering me. I'll always say no, or I'm just anxious but not that bad, and then when we talk about it later she was right. I bury my feelings a lot and am scared of confrontation with almost anyone. \n\nI'm also really bad at introspection to begin with, like really bad. I think in my upbringing my family never *dealt* with issues and I didn't see my parents too much. I spent most of my free time with the same equally awful friends. Growing up I didn't learn how to sit with my emotions and have productive conversations with people. I'd just remove myself and sit in silence until they were finished talking so everything would go back to normal. \n\nWe've had this issues more times than I can count and I desperately want to stop this immature behavior. I know it's wrong, yet every time I start to get anxious I end up repeating the same behavior. It usually takes us all night, if not a day or two, to finish talking about issues. Even so, that behavior usually reverts back after a few days. \n\nI know I'm in the wrong here. I finally believe I'm starting to get a grip on myself, and I know I probably need therapy, but I just want to be able to communicate with my partner. I'm trying to find a way to show my SO because we've tried talking this matter to death.", "summary": "I'm trying to find a way to show my SO I care about our issues and I'm making an attempt to communicate with her and stop withdrawing all the time."} {"id": "t3_4mzack", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "Eff my feelings for anything forever.", "post": "Yesterday I admitted my feelings, my real feelings for my best friend (M). They've been there for awhile, hidden under a veil of 'we're BFF' or 'we're bros'.\n\nI was shot down via the 'I don't want to ruin the friendship' line. Went to the store, bought cheap Canadian whiskey in attempts to forget about it. He decided to check back up on me later in the day via text/computer. It escalated into an argument that then spilled onto my social media. Did not end well at all. Do I regret it? I mean, I was telling the truth....\n\nDecided to deactivate my Facebook, posted awkward \"bbl maybe maybe not\" posts on the other places. Took my Lexapro today, but, I know there's not much else stopping me from a line of self destruction of who knows how much, aside from mentally I feel like crap and I have a crap of a raging hangover lingering. \n\nNot that I have much else to focus on, I mean, I work at home as a freelancer (can't find a \"real\" job that works with my social anxiety/depression), I'm still reeling from getting rejected from graduate schools a few weeks ago, and I'm otherwise a person as cold as ice and totally socially inept.", "summary": "16 years of a friendship went kerblam in an evening over feelings, it's all my fault. Digging that hole deeper and probably gonna bury myself in it. Meh."} {"id": "t3_4ttdrl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [28F] with my [31M] Boyfriend of 3 years. I found out he was messaging girls on facebook that I have never heard of. Am I overreacting or should I worry?", "post": "Long story short, he left his facebook open when he went to shower and I had a weird feeling so I looked at his recent messages. \n\nHe was messaging a lady I had never heard the name of. They didnt say anything explicit, but were being pretty flirty with each other, and it is worrying me. I am worried because never did he mention me to the other women, and I have never heard of this girl.\n\nWeve been having a rough patch, and thats when he seemed to message them the most. I confronted him and he blew me off saying that there was nothing to worry about. Since were in a rough patch, its making me worry even more than it usually would. \n\nI feel guilty that I went through his messages without asking, but I also feel like my bad feeling was validated by seeing this. They even swapped numbers and talked about how they should hang out soon.", "summary": "looked through my bfs fb messages. he was flirty with other girls and denys wrong-doing but im worried still and don't know how to handle it."} {"id": "t3_2ack2m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24/m] with my SO [23/f] doesnt believe I'm not sleeping with other female friend.", "post": "Im in a long distance relationship, or was at least. My SO has decided that I am now sleeping with one of the few female friends that I have. The problem is that I am not sleeping with her or anything of that nature. I occasionally hang out with her but nothing supicious.\n\nI tried to explain to her that shes just being insecure and that she has no reason to believe that. To add to the problem I invited said friend to the beach. Being my SO never seems to want to go and it gets old going by myself. I just wanted some company. I told her about it and she just continued her rampage about how I am playing her.\n\nThis is a long distance relationship but only by a couple hours, so seeing my SO is just a quick trip. So I dont think the distance is the major issue. Things these past couple days have just been a non stop argument. I dont even know what to say anymore, i have apologized, I have told the truth 100% and she just wont accept the fact that I am not sleeping with her.\n\nIs thier anything I can do at this point? She isnt speaking to me \nAnd says she is over it but I havent done anything wrong....", "summary": "in LDR, S.O. thinks I am sleeping with female friend. Doesnt believe that I am not. She went on a two day rampage about and now isnt speaking to me. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_3muudk", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "someone stole my Jeep Wrangler, and someone wrecked into my parked car", "post": "Some scumbag stole my Jeep Wrangler on Friday. It was recovered, stripped and destroyed, in the ghetto of the local major city before I even knew it went missing. After filing some reports and making a few calls I determined that I couldn't go get it any time soon, so I went camping for the weekend - as previously planned. \n\nWhen I came back home Sunday, I parked my car in it's usual spot at my apartment and went inside to clean up, drop off gear and get ready to leave - I needed to find the parts to fix what I could, on my Jeep; hopefully I could make it drivable. Instead, about twenty minutes into my routine, my neighbor knocked on my door to notify me that some ass hat wrecked into my parked car while I was inside.\n\nI had to take a day off of work yesterday to sort through this mess. I found the Jeep at the impound lot and discovered that the wheels and tires were stolen, the brand-new catalytic converter was cut off, they ripped out the door lock (instead of unzipping or cutting through the soft top), they sheared through the security console, broke the steering column and ripped out the ignition - after cramming a screwdriver into all of the external locks, permanently fucking them all up. Everything inside was stolen, except for my tent rainfly, which wasn't a whole lot but it still adds to the indignation. I had to buy a complete set of wheels and tires just to drive it out of impound, and wasted several hundred more dollars paying for the tow and impound fees. Also, I'd recently removed full coverage since the Jeep was just sitting around as a leisure vehicle and I hadn't driven it much in the last year or so. So, I get to eat the several thousand dollar cost for the theft. Also, most of the cops I had to deal with were really condescending.", "summary": "Scumbag stole my Jeep Wrangler on Friday, and some goomba wrecked into my parked car on Sunday; most of the cops were very condescending."} {"id": "t3_36l99r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20 M] of 1.5 months, treats me like a friend.", "post": "Throwaway because he knows my other account. \n\nI have recently started dating a guy from my friendship group that I have known close to ten years now. I've had a crush on him for the last couple of months and he said that he felt the same and asked me out. The first couple of days I was really happy because finally it happened.\n\nHe's sweet and nice and adorable and geeky and handsome, but the problem is that he keeps treating me like he did before. We've been dating for 1.5 months and he hasn't held my hand or tried to kiss me. I don't even get hugs. \n\nWhen we hang out, the whole friendship group is usually with us (~9 people) and while we do sit next to each other we don't touch. And I'm pretty sure that he hasn't told anyone we're dating. \n\nWhen I try to hold his hand, it's like he thinks I knocked my hand into his on accident and he apologies to me for some reason. I just feel stupid every time I'm around him because I don't know how to bring it up or if I even have a reason to be concerned. \n\nAlso, if I don't start a conversation with him, we never talk. I'm ALWAYS the one to text first and ask a question about how his day has been. I thought that was actually weird and wanted to see if he would contact me first, so I didn't message him on Saturday. So far, he hasn't written anything, hasn't called me, and hasn't tried to contact me in any way. \n\nThat is 5 days without talking to him so far. Do I even still have a boyfriend? I feel like he doesn't really care.\n\nI was talking to my best friend about this the other day, and she suggested that he might not be into me as much as he said. What do you think, Reddit? How can I bring this up when I talk to him? Should I even bring it up?", "summary": "My boyfriend of 1.5 months doesn't hug me, kiss me, or hold my hand. Is that normal or am I crazy?"} {"id": "t3_oglmc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Concerned about commitment and seeming \"beta.\"", "post": "This is going to be a long one... So I (M21) have been seeing this girl (F21) for about 2 months now. I would like to say we are past just dating as we have gone all the way and sleep together fairly frequently now, as well as how often we see each other and act towards each other. Though all the afformentioned things are going on we have not actually spoken too much on the subject of commitment nor has either one of us said the L word. The closest we have gotten as far talking commitment is one night she asked me \"is there is anything you dislike with what we have going on?\" and I told her no, we said a few more words then she said she really likes me, I said the same thing, and it seemed as if she was waiting for me to say \"I love you\" but I didn't. \n\nThe reason I hesitate to say love is because in the past when I was less knowledgeable on the subject I had said \"I love you\" way too soon to a girl I liked and she lost all interest in me after that. I've also just had clingy tendencies in general in the past so I'm afraid of myself and don't want to scare her away. Since then I've read a lot on reddit and feel I have made some mental changes which have definitely worked to my advantage. I feel more confident, I'm not falling into the same tropes I used to and I've gotten as far as losing it to this girl. It feels as though everything is just going right and it's primed for a LTR which is what I want. \n\nSomehow I'm still afraid of my old ways coming back as I get comfortable with this girl and fear loosing her because of that. I want to ask her what the deal is and where we stand as far as the relationship goes but I feel as if that might be a sign of weakness or something, acting beta as they would say in seddit.", "summary": "I feel as though we are heading towards a lasting relationship and want to find out but fear seeming clingly or needy."} {"id": "t3_2b7y2l", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "[21M] Through Tinder, I'm entering a situation of dating multiple girls...help! What do I do?", "post": "Never been in this kind of situation before, I need advice.\n\nI chatted with one girl on Tinder awhile ago, we hit it off, I got her number and we met up for coffee. We chatted for hours and kissed at the end and decided to meet up again. I definitely get along with her really well and am very attracted to her.\n\nHowever, there's another girl, pretty much a dream girl for me, that I've been chatting with on Tinder for awhile now. We chatted on Tinder for hours and hours last night, I think from about 11 PM to 4 AM. We have an absolutely ridiculous amount of stuff in common and she seems to really like me even just over text. We got to know each other on a very personal level too with a game of 20 Questions. She wants to meet up to watch a movie and cuddle later, and I really want to be with her.\n\nSo...what do I do here? I like the first girl, but I really, really want to be with the second girl. However, I don't want to ruin my chances with the first girl...man, I wish I could just be with both! They're both so great!", "summary": "Met with a girl from Tinder, liked her a lot, my Tinder dream girl wants to meet with me now and I want to meet with her, but I don't know what to do about the first girl who I still like"} {"id": "t3_m9lz4", "subreddit": "self", "title": "i don't give a rat's ass about your \"rage\" life story", "post": "I want to tell you something that pretty much everyone over the age of 35 knows (or at least should know): We all suffer, we all go through shit we shouldn't have to. Whatever you're going through, plenty of us have gone through it as well. We survived without spilling our guts into the interwebs with crappy copy/pasted comics. Man the fuck up and deal with your shit! I swear if I read one more \"i told my mom i was and atheist, it went ok\" rage comic, i'll fucking shit on your house until it collapses in a poo tsunami and then I'll have to look at 30 pages of \"heroic derpaderpaland survivor\" pics on imgur.", "summary": "EVERYONE HAS TO DEAL WITH ADVERSITY! STRENGTH = DEALING WITH IT WITHOUT BEGGING FOR APPLAUSE."} {"id": "t3_m9vv3", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Tough situation, parents splitting up. Advice?", "post": "**Some background:**\n\nMy mom and step-dad have been together for nearly a decade, but aren't married, and are now splitting up. I live at home with them. I am a recent college graduate that could only find work part-time at a grocery store. I have no savings and make only $600 a month.\n\nMy step-dad owns the mortgage on the house and has evicted my mom. He has said that I am free to remain living in the house. However, in the last few weeks when their relationship was falling apart he started to get very abusive toward my mother (verbally, emotionally). Because of some recent issues, prior to the end of their relationship, I had already lost a lot of respect for him, so I'm not really keen on staying in the house.\n\n**The problem:**\n\nMy mom doesn't make a lot of money and so is currently staying in a long-term stay hotel situation. I want to move out but I can't really afford to get my own place, or pay much to roommate up with anyone.\n\nI do, however, have some options:\n\n- My grandmother lives about 90 minutes away from me and would probably let me move in, however the commute to and from work would break my budget (gas prices). She also lives in a semi-rural area in which it would be very difficult to find a new job.\n\n- My girlfriend's parents, live about 40 minutes from work, have offered to let me stay in their house if I need to and charge me a small rent.\n\n- I could keep living at home, with my mom's ex, where all of my stuff is. (I probably do have an unreasonable amount of stuff, admittedly)\n\nSo my question is, what do you guys think I should do? I'm struggling with what my options are and what to do. I don't really want to impose on my girlfriend's family, I don't want to move to rural land, and I can't afford to be far away from my job so I'll probably have to find a new one.", "summary": "Step-dad evicted mom, told me I could stay, I don't want to and am not sure what to do"} {"id": "t3_1ig32e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[25/M] Met a girl at a bar and going on first date since breakup of serious relationship, but I won't be in the same city as her for very long", "post": "So, I broke up with a girl, who I was in a serious relationship with for about 3 years, 2 months ago. This past weekend I was at a bar with some friends and started chatting/dancing with a girl [26/F] and her group of friends. She seemed nice, my type (looks and personality) and I got her number. Exchanged a few texts and set up a date for next week. \n\nI'm leaving the country before the end of the year (work reasons) yet I still want to go on dates in the mean time to get back out in the dating scene. My question is really threefold: A) If she texted me the next day asking how the night was, is this a good sign? B) If this is a good sign and she likes me, should I disclose on this first date that I'll be leaving the country, to be up front with her and manage expectations? and C) If I don't disclose that I'll be leaving soon on the first date, is this dishonest?", "summary": "I met a girl at the bar and I'm going on a date with her, but I'm also leaving the country soon and don't know if I should tell her that on the first date."} {"id": "t3_axuuu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My daughter has issues, can the BAX 3000 help or is it a scam?", "post": "Background:\n\nMy daughter has severe allergies that cause major health issues. She has severe excema and has spent time in the hospital in the past just due to the pollen in the air where we lived. When we were finally able to get a conclusive test that showed allergies to be the cause of her problems, we moved from Louisville, KY to San Diego, CA just to get her where the air was better for her. Here is a picture of her about a year ago, she isn't this bad now, but only because we give her steriods to help:\n\nShe was like that over most of her body before we got better control over it. Now she just itches ALL the time and, if left unattended for more than a few minutes, will scratch her face/body until she bleeds. She is 26 months old and has been more miserable in her short life than most of you will in your entire life.\n\nQuestion:\n\nAn acquaintance of my wife claims her husband used this BAX 3000 treatment and has been cured of his shellfish allergy for the past 6 months. We don't really have any way to verify any of this, and there is conflicting data online about the treatment. Will this help our daughter?\n\nLink: \n\nMy thoughts: the business sector that makes money from people having allergies (medication/shots/doctors) could be trying to keep this secret so they can keep making money ... OR, it could be total bullshit. I am leaning towards bullshit, but on the off chance that someone on reddit has any firsthand experience, or a way for me to find out more from a reputable source, I wanted to ask.", "summary": "go away, this is serious, if you don't take the time to read the details then you don't need to comment."} {"id": "t3_1bdb4n", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Was she (18F) into me (20M)? Did I screw myself with my actions?", "post": "After an afterparty chilling session, her and I went back to her room. She was giving off the vibe that she was into me (or so I think). She didn't mind me sitting on her bed and being extremely close to her. She doesn't pull away when I go closer or when I touched her ear under the guise of examining her earrings. She constantly plays with her hair and playing with a small teddy bear. She didn't even mind me touching her leg.\n\nBut she always had this nervous vibe about her. She very rarely looked me in the eye. And she was cold to me trying to seal the deal with a kiss. Granted, when it came to actually kissing and more, I wasn't as aggressive because I strongly believe \"No means no\". I put the ball in her court and gave her the option whether or not to heat things up. At one point she brings up that she's shy, and that she's not the type of girl to just hook up. When I was making romantic passes to her, she would always say \"I really don't know what to think right now; I'm confused about myself\". As I tried to leave I think made the mistake of pulling myself to her and saying \"If you want me to go or if you want me to stay, just tell me\". She told me she didn't want to mislead me that we were gonna get physical. I ended up staying for an hour more.\n\nWhen I finally left, I apologized for my actions and that I was still kind of drunk when I did all that stuff. She said it was alright and that everyone was being crazy. What I didn't tell her is that I REALLY like her and that I wasn't the type of guy who sleeps around (I'm a virgin). But do you guys think she's into me? Should I pursue something with her (even if it's the end of term)? Did I screw things up?", "summary": "Girl seems ok with physical contact but wouldn't kiss me. She showed signs of interests but at the same time displayed nervousness. Was she into me and did I screw myself over by trying to get intimate with her?"} {"id": "t3_1xdnhn", "subreddit": "Advice", "title": "How can I get over feeling so insecure and aggressive?", "post": "Hey everyone,\nI'm dealing with some pretty strong emotions lately; I'm going to see my doctor on Wednesday but I need some advice from people who've felt similarly. I blow up at the smallest incident, and I feel like my friends are wary of me for it lately.\n\nI'm in a stressful school program, where I feel pressure to be perfect constantly. I quit journalism to get into illustration, and now that I'm here, I feel like I've sacrificed my chance at being \"successful\" for doing something I love. People tried to talk me out of my career change, and still expect me to go into law because I'm an aggressive debater and an idealist.\n\nReally, I just want to express myself. My highest goal is the security of \"fame\" or \"success\" and to me it's dependent on how much people like my work. I never want children or a monogamous relationship because I don't want to risk my chance at being \"great\". (Also, I'm poly so more people is awesome.)\n\nI'm incredibly insecure, and was brought up with loving but \"I'll give you something to cry about\" kind of parents. I had a great childhood, but often felt neglected and threatened. I've tried therapy but never felt like I could let my guard down with any of my three therapists. I have a history of \"melodramatics\", and self-harm. \n\nI would rather make myself uncomfortable and be known as a \"good person\" than be happy and have others hate me for being selfish. I don't take chances because there's the risk that I'll ruin my chance at being liked/cool/successful, and people will stop talking to me.\n\nAnyone have any advice?", "summary": "I'm super insecure and have been exploding emotionally at people. My friends and family are concerned with me acting out, and I want to be happy without needing others' approval. Help?"} {"id": "t3_1tj47t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26 M] with my [28 F] 2 yrs, ask her friend if she cheated on me?", "post": "Why is letting go the hardest thing? Yes, I probably need to let go. But, I think more disturbing is the lack of communication, the lack of clarity to her behavior.\n\nShe had done three things that I should have just cut it off 4 months ago when they started:\n\n1. She sent nude photos to a friend without talking to me about it.\n2. I found out she had sex 3 months into our relationship when we had a \"fight\".\n3. After much back and forth, we made up one weekend. Only problem was I was paranoid about her constantly texting guys. So I snooped after a romantic weekend with her. I found out that a guy I showed my apartment to had picked her up monday morning and she did a strip tease for him, video and all.\n\nWhatever, some guys just want a hot fuck, but I let myself go too far. I wanted more and she wanted to fool around.\n\nNow, it came to a point where she was traveling without me, and she had to stop in Germany, and I found one guy who popped out of nowhere and started liking her photos. This guy is...attractive. She is attractive. And to top it off, her communication with me has been null. I know she's skiing right now, but she still has time to post some pictures on Facebook. I know I need to end it, it's too much torture for me. But, I definitely want gratification by asking that German dude straight out if they fooled around. We are technically in a relationship on Facebook.\n\nSo, question 1) Should I do it? People have told me not to, but I really don't care at this point. I just don't see any reason not to.\n2) Why would a guy lie to another guy to protect a cheating relationship?", "summary": "I hate the feeling of suspecting she's cheating because of a rough history. Can I ask a guy on Facebook if they fooled around? Just to get some gratification? Why would a guy protect infidelity and not tell the boyfriend?"} {"id": "t3_2r58dq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29M] with my GF [29F] of 1 year: Having second thoughts with her in light of recent discoveries.", "post": "We've been dating about a year and a half. She talks about wanting to get married and have kids, but honestly based on recent discoveries about her, I'm not sure it's a great idea, and I'm thinking of breaking up with her because I don't think I want to have kids with her.\n\nShe got a message from a strange number on her phone, asking her for a payment. I thought it was weird, and asked her about it. She told me it was her cousin, who had loaned her money during college.\n\nLater, during another conversation, she said something about it that rung untrue (contradictory). I pressed, and found that it wasn't her cousin, but her ex. She owed him $1800. Further pressing, I discovered she owed another ex roughly $1800 as well.\n\nThis really made me angry, as she was spending money like she didn't have two ex's she was beholden to. Also, she would randomly ask me for money, saying she needed it to buy groceries or somesuch (She's unemployed, looking for a job. May have one starting the fifth)\n\nNext, we were watching Netflix on Chromecast yesterday using her phone. I grabbed it to switch shows and saw a message from her brother telling her to come home to get her mail, as she has an arrest warrant now for unpaid parking tickets. I gawked, but didn't say anything to her, because I expect she should share that information with me sooner rather than later. Right?\n\nShe's entitled to her privacy, but I think if she wants to enter into a relationship involving marriage/children she needs to be more up front than this. I'm not sure if her brother is joking with her or what. She hadn't responded to it, so I'm not sure. I can easily see her doing something like this. Is the arrest warrant a big deal? Is my house going to get searched or property siezed? (She stays here often). I'm not sure what to do.\n\nThanks in advance for the advice/comments.", "summary": "Found out she has debt to two ex's, and now may have a warrant out for her arrest based on unpaid traffic tickets."} {"id": "t3_2baieu", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "It was all for nothing (24m) with (24f) and 3 year old son. 7 years down the drain.", "post": "So my and my girlfriend have been together since highschool. We have had our rough patches here and there but it's been okay. \n\nShe has been acting strangle lately and we haven't had sex in almost 4 months now and I like my sex. She bargains for it and I give her what she wants and I get nothing in return. She knows that is what I want and still holds it from me.\n\nI come to find out today that the reasoning for it is she is only staying with me for the house and our son. She thinks I'm controlling when all I do is give her what she wants and work my ass off for her and my son. I do nothing, I don't go out, and I don't spend money. She gets to do all of that and more. She is also texting an old boyfriend of hers that she broke up with for me when we went on a 4 month break in 2010, and says she didn't ever want to do it but I talked her into it when it was in fact her sister. This guy was psycho and her sister and everyone else hated him. She got pregnant with our kid after she broke up with him and got with me again. But she never wanted that.\n\nShe has came home now twice at 4 in the morning and 1 time at 6. She isn't cheating she says but idk anymore. \n\nIdk what to do I'm posting here because I'm at Witts end. I love this girl but she never talks to me and is always mad and has an attitude about somwthing when it comes to me. I just don't know what to do. Help", "summary": "GIRLFRIEND ONLY STAYING FOR HOUSE AND KID, NO SEX, DIDN'T WANT TO BREAK UP WITH LAST BF, 7 YEARS WASTED, MAYBE CHEATING"} {"id": "t3_1o840t", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [22/F] gave my number to a guy [23/F] last night...not sure what to do!", "post": "I met a guy yesterday...and he didn't seem really interested in me at first and was a jerk around my group of friends/in general. \n\nThere was one point where we were talking and he seemed into me, but he mentioned that he was looking for friends since he's new in town. \n\nHe asked for my number to see if I wanted to meet up later to go out. I gave him my number thinking \"yea, sure! why not\" \n\nEnded up not meeting up, but I got a text this morning asking to get together before I leave town. Now in retrospect, I realize how giving my number to him may have sent the wrong message...and in all honesty, I have no idea how to respond, especially since how he wasn't very nice at first.\n\nI'm always down to getting to know new people, but my friends already were talking about how much of a dick he is. And I agree -but there are a lot of sides to one person, so maybe it was a wrong first impression. But I don't want to meet up and be berated with insults for an hour.\n\nAlthough he was a dick, I understand the vulnerability and courage it takes to put yourself out there...so I don't want to be rude. I was rejected fairly recently, so I understand how it can suck...", "summary": "gave my number to a guy who seemed like a dick and not into me, but asked to meet up the next morning...kind of curious to see what would happen, but don't want to send the wrong message! "} {"id": "t3_jso92", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "A Guy that finally wants to make a move", "post": "Hey Reddit, I think I'm ready. Here are some details. I am 18 she is 16. Basically known her since I was 8ish I think. We're family friends so we see each other a lot in family gatherings and that sort of thing. So after some current events I've decided that I am going to make it clear that I would like a relationship with her. This weekend is a firework show. I plan on watching the fireworks with her. Work my game. (Hopefully, hold her hand and maybe even a kiss. Hopefully. Maybe. I wish.) LOL\n\nWas literally writing a novel about everything; our interactions, what motivated me to finally act on my feelings and pretty much every single detail about this situation until I took a quick glance to the right and saw the pointer about", "summary": "content. If anyone is interested in getting to know any more information specifically just ask and I'll be happy to reply."} {"id": "t3_2emgyp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I (27/f) read my SO's (27/m) texts and I'm not sure if I'm being overly sensitive", "post": "To start, we've been together 5 years and are pregnant. I'm due soon!\n\nWe have an \"open phone\" policy. We know each others passwords and such. I don't normally check his phone but that day it was right on the screen. He was texting an old friend of his when he handed me his phone to go to the bathroom to hold (we were out) and the most recent text on the lock screen prompted me to open it. \n\nIt was his friend talking about some girl from high school saying he had a dream about her and some celebrity three-some. He was going on and on about how great it was and how he didn't want to be woken up. My SO said he was jealous and he wishes he had more dreams like that with sexy women (like the ones his friend mentioned) so he has something to enjoy when he gets up. Something to \"look forward to\" as he put it.\n\nIt hurt my feelings. Mostly because even if he does feel that way, I'm offended he said it. I'm 5'7 and weighed 110 lbs when I got pregnant. Now I'm 125 lbs and feel like a lard. I've also haven't been looking that great. I'm exhausted and my hair/skin is doing weird things from hormones. Our sex life is really not there because it's really painful right now. \n\nI'm not sure if I should just say \"Yeah, I saw your text messages and they hurt my self esteem because I feel like an ugly, waddling cow\" or if I should just remember that he's allowed to have his fantasies and leave it alone. I guess it's not the fantasies as much as him openly saying it to someone. I don't know.", "summary": "SO said something to his friend that hurt my feelings. Not sure if I should just leave it go. Don't want an argument. Do want to be honest but not sure at what expense."} {"id": "t3_4dg1u6", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "How I've made cardio not seem so dreadful", "post": "I'm 6'3\" and 272lbs. I have a good amount of fat so cardio is not my favorite gym activity but is a must for me. While I personally hate cardio i put my all into it to go as long, as fast, and at as high of a resistance as possible. I used to just hop on and say \"okay im gunna run for 30 minutes\". While this was effective in that i knew exactly when id stop, the entire time i just spent counting down every second until i was done which just made it feel like it was way longer than 30 minutes. Instead i have started to essentially trick myself with micro-goals. Ill start off with maybe attempting to do my first mile within a certain amount of time. Then after that shoot for the next minute mark that is a multiple of 5 for my time. After than i set a new distance goal but keeping them relatively close to the previous goal so as it does not fee like an eternity until i reach it. Eventually you get into a pattern of \"well i cant stop halfway through a mile!\" Then it become \"but i also cant stop until i reach the nearest multiple of 5\". After the first few initial goals you get a bigger desire to just go that little bit farther to hit that next little step... And then the next one..... And then the one after that. Today i hit 5.5 miles in 50 min (new personal best btw). I would have never gone so far had i just initially got on and said \"okay im gunna run for 50 minutes\". There is absolutely no way i would have had the motivation to stay on. So if youre like me and don't enjoy doing cardio so much, create some micro-goals for yourself and see if it helps.", "summary": "If you want cardio to seem a little more tolerable just create little goals within the exercise and then just keep pushing them a little farther and a littler farther after that until you feel you have obtained the desired workout."} {"id": "t3_441uzo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [18M] with my \"friend\" [17M], I don't like him, but he is considering doing the same study as I will next year. How do I tell him I don't want to be friends with him?", "post": "Firstly, sorry for the title, I couldn't really think of a short way to say this, so I hope this will do.\n\nNow for my problem: this guy, Matt, is someone who I really don't want to be friends with. He is annoying, he isn't social, he smells like death and he just isn't a guy I want to hang out with, so I don't. He doesn't really have any other friends either.\n\nBut here's the problem: Matt thinks we are friends, which I don't want to be. At first I didn't think of it as a problem, because school will only last a few more months and I can put up with him for that time, but now he told me he wants to de the same study as I am going to do. Now, in my country, there are two major universities and I already picked the one I want to go to, while Matt hasn't yet. I am very afraid he will go to the same university as I will.\n\nThis may sound asshole-ish, but I really don't want to talk to him anymore after this school year, even if he does choose the same uni (which I can't stop in any way and don't want to either, I'm not that much of an asshole). I am very afraid he will be a burden if we are going to the same university, because he is very clingy and I don't really want to be associated with him.\n\nSo, how do I tell him this without sounding like a giant asshole?", "summary": "a guy I don't like, but thinks he is my friend, may go to the same university as I will go to. How do I tell him I don't want to be his friend?"} {"id": "t3_ibpps", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do I handle a FWB", "post": "* First of all, we are both 22.\n* Ok, so my situation is pretty messed up. When I graduated high school I had a major crush on this girl and fucked up by telling her I loved her (I was 17, rookie mistake), and she ended up going out with my best friend for a year and a half, which completely WRECKED me. I met her at a party 2 weeks ago and we exchanged number, started texting. Consequently, I fucked her last Tuesday and then on Wednesday. She doesn't want me to tell her ex, or any of my friends for that matter (I did), but whatever I don't think he'd care since he's the one who dumped her, this is not my issue here.\n* My issue is that I can't get this girl out of my head now. We text every day still, but I get nervous when she doesn't text me for a couple hours and so on... The thing is is there is no way I could actually have a relationship with this girl. It couldn't go go beyond sex, and I wouldn't mind because the sex is amazing, but I REALLY don't want to develop feelings for this girl. We are really different... However, it is going pretty shitty so far since I get a bit jealous and feel like a dick.\n* Has anyone had a similar fuck friend relation and knows how to handle it? I'm very confused right now. I don't know whether I want her to develop feelings for me as well (which she could be, she is the one who instigated the sex), or if I want to have no strings attached sex with this girl.", "summary": "I know there's a common saying that friendship and sex don't mix, but could this work out for me or should I walk away from the situation before getting hurt again."} {"id": "t3_2zkcb2", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My family [20sF,50sF+M,80sF] with my neighbour [50s?M] of 5 years is harassing us over varied things. Family been here 30 years.", "post": "Throwaway because reasons.\n\nWe live in Australia, wont be specific but figured it might just helpful in regards to laws/advice.\n\nMy parents and grandparent have lived in this street in town for 30 years. \nA guy and his wife moved in about 5 years ago (approx).\nWe have two dogs. One was around when he moved in, she is 6+. She is a small terrier and barks when people come to the door (as they do). Other dog is 1.5 years old and obviously came after he was there. She is a medium size dog.\n\nThis guy across the road is in a townhouse, we are in two houses on two blocks next to each other.\n\nHarassment started approx 2 years ago where he yelled at my grandmother to \"shut her f...ing dog up\" as he stood and teased it. \n\nNext incident was a ute of my fathers parked on the road and a note was left telling us to \"park on our own side of the f...ing road\" (we normally would but no space at the time). Keep in mind this is a PUBLIC road. Its anyones space.\n\nSeveral more incidents where he stood on his balcony and screamed obscenities at my father who called the police as he began having heart issues. Police did nothing but tell us the man had just apparently gotten out of hospital and was tired etc etc.\n\nHe has also put complaints in to our local council about the dogs barking (where you can get fines). There is another dog next to him and one a few doors away that both bark constantly.\n\nLatest incident was a council ranger coming around to tell us they got another anonymous complaint (not anon to them but for us as they wont tell you who did it but we know its him) saying the dogs were barking all night. Our dogs have never barked so I have no idea what he is hearing. Presumably the one next door.\n\nI need advice on what to do or who to speak to as Im at a loss. Talking to the guy isnt an option. He is aggressive and probably would attack me.", "summary": "neighbour keeps putting in complaints to local council about our dogs barking when they arent and told us we cant park our cars on 'his' side of the road (public road). What do?"} {"id": "t3_50sn6r", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [16 M] have a crush with a girl [16 F]. Who i've been talking for about two weeks through text, since she lives in another city but comes to here regularly. Yesterday i told her i had a crush on her and she stopped answering.", "post": "I met this girl in my city just before she left back to her city, we exchanged numbers and we've been talking almost all day (even up to 5 am on weekends) for two weeks and i really like her.\n \nSo yesterday stupid me gets the idea to tell her about having a crush on her, Since she told me she would date me before the guy she had a crush last year. After that she just stopped answering.\n\nUntil i ask her on other social media what was happening, she told me that i went too fast and that we have just talked for two weeks.\n\nShe didn't block me or anything she just stopped answering tough i haven't try sending her a message today\n\nDid i fucked up? is there any chance i get at least to be just friends with her? what should i do?", "summary": "I have a crush on a girl and after i told her she just stopped answering but hasn't block me or anything."} {"id": "t3_2tdmj0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[Dating] I'm not certain what to do about my crush [f 19], who I [17 m] believe likes me back but might be scared.", "post": "So I've been friends with this one girl for about two months now and I developed a crush pretty quick after meeting her, and our lives pretty much revolve around the exact same friend group. Pretty much all of my friends have called me out on liking her and their basic questions are like so when are you going to ask her out, etc.\n\nThe thing is, I think she's scared to be in a relationship because early on when I first met her she said every guy in her life ever had just hurt her. As well as I know that I'm scared that if we were to date and things end badly it would mess up the friends group, which from what my friends have said it's a concern of hers too.\n\nPlus, I'm actually the youngest in my friend group because I graduated high school a year early so despite both being college freshmen I'm somewhat younger. And my friends have a penchant for teasing me about being jailbait. And on that note I know she also mentioned that she didn't think I would make a move until I turn 18, but she's one of those girls that lots of guys like and I don't want to squander an opportunity that I have with her.\n\nBut I'm also pretty sure she likes me because the past couple times we've hung out and watched movies we've ended up cuddling, and not just out of the blue but like she basically told everyone else with us that no matter what she's sitting next to me. And also I guess the kiss emoji's she's sent me a few times also serve as a bit of an indication. (Yes I know how my generation this sounds, but hey what can I say so much of communication goes on this way now)\n\nSo I guess I'm just looking how to move forward because while we haven't talked about looking eachother I think it's become pretty obvious that we're both perhaps entertaining the idea.", "summary": "My crush seems to have reciprocated interest, but I know of reasons why she'd hesitate, but I also don't know how to move forward."} {"id": "t3_4adulx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23M] with my gf [23F] Doesn't want to go on dates with me because she doesn't like that I spend money on her", "post": "So We've been dating for a couple months, and I've been incredibly enamored so we moved forward to being exclusive. She's still a student and works part-time, and I work full-time. She really hates her work, so I try to take her out so she can take her mind off things. Recently though when I try to plan dates, she turns me down because she doesn't want me to pay. \n\nHowever, she's always talking about how she doesn't have much money. I enjoy spending money on experiences and memories, which I've explained to her. She lives a decent distance from me so I don't like having her have to uber to my place all the time since it's expensive, so I go to her. However, she lives with a lot of roommates so we can't even have personal dinners without people passing through all the time.\n\nHow can I explain to her that the money is not the issue? Saying \"Money isn't an issue\" doesn't work. I'm feeling kind of insulted getting turned down all the time.", "summary": "GF Doesn't want to go on dates because she doesn't want me to pay but can't pay for them herself. It's starting to make me feel insulted."} {"id": "t3_uypb2", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My roommate is neglecting her kitten, what can I do to help while retaining a non-hostile housing situation?", "post": "So, my roommate got a kitten a few weeks ago from her co-worker. First off, the kitten was way too young to be taken from its mother (about 6 weeks old) and had never been taken to the vet. The cat still has yet to see a vet. At first, my roommate took good care of her kitten and spent a lot of time with it. Now she leaves it locked up in her tiny room all day with no food while she goes hiking and partying. \n\nIn the past week, she was gone from our house for two separate nights without telling anyone so we did not know to feed/pay attention to the kitten. I've taken to spending time with the kitten for at least an hour a day and letting it out of the room, but I've recently found out from two separate roommates that she does not like this because she doesn't want the kitten to be attached to me. I've generally decided that she can dislike this all she wants, and I will continue what I'm doing until she at least talks to me about it, since I'd rather have the kitten not neglected than my roommate be happy.\n\nMy roommate is incredibly defensive and will get very angry if I tell her she is taking poor care of the kitten. One of our roommates is good at talking to her, so he will attempt to negotiate with her to spend more time with the cat. Other than him talking to her, how can I make sure the kitten is not neglected while remaining in good terms with my roommate? Is there a way I can bring it up so that it does not come off as accusing her? All of the roommates have said that she is taking horrible care of the kitten, so I know I am not over-reacting.", "summary": "Roommate does not pay attention to her 9-week old kitten and leaves it locked up with no food all day long. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_4lbbmv", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My [32f] husband [34m] wants me to hang out with his best friend [34m] I drunkenly kissed.", "post": "About a month ago, I drunkenly kissed my husband's best friend. My husband and I are working through it, I've admitted my blame in the matter. I have 0 attraction to the friend, and no interest in him. I was honestly just drunk and I guess it seemed funny at the time. My husband was there. I don't even remember doing it. \n\nAnyway, now the best friend (BF from here on out) is asking my husband and I to go hang out with his wife. I'll also mention to husband \"hey we should go to X place\" and he'll say ok let's invite BF.\n\nI don't want to be around BF. I'm embarrassed and ashamed. I'm mad at BF for letting me do something stupid (I know it's my fault but he certainly didn't try to stop me). I'm frustrated that I'm putting in all this work to keep my marriage afloat and BF gets a free pass (they've not talked about it once).\n\nWhat do I do? Do I give in and hang out with BF? Or do I stand my ground?", "summary": "kissed my husband's friend and now my husband wants us all to hang out like nothing happened because he says I'm punishing him by keeping him from his friend*"} {"id": "t3_22av13", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] have been dating for nearly a year, need help with the future", "post": "My girlfriend will be graduating this year entering a university 20-25 minutes away from where I live. Before we met, she had issues of \"two-timing\" or being attracted to two different people at once because it was easier, but then she transitioned to an all-girl schools. Now she'll be going to a big university and will be meeting and making new friends. \n\nI trust in her and want to believe that she won't fall for other guys or cheat in me. I talked to her yesterday about this and we realized that it would be hard for both of us but she wants us to still be together and says that she still loves me dearly and does not want to disappoint (cheat on) me. She told me that easily succumbs to peer pressure and is scared of making a mistake that she would regret because she says that she knows it would never be worth it. \n\nMy question to all of you is how do I prevent this from happening? How do I make sure that she doesn't forget it in the heat of the moment? I really do love her and want this to work out. \n\nThank you.", "summary": "Girlfriend moving onto college 20-25 minutes away, I trust her but how do I make sure everything is going to be ok?"} {"id": "t3_32ziu8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17/F] with my Mom. I need help making a decision", "post": "To keep it short, a few months ago I was employed and needed a new car. I chose a lease under my stepfathers name. A few months after that, I was let go from my job due to an injury. I am receiving benefits, but those will run out soon. Possibly next week. As of now, I have enough money to pay for the car and insurance for 2 months, but I am having no luck at all finding another job. \n\nI also have less than 6 months to graduate high school. It will be very stressful for me to work 30 hours a week and try to finish 6 college classes. My mom doesn't see me being able to find a job in time to pay for the car when I need to in two months. \n\nHere are my options. \n1. keep attempting to find a job and stress myself out more\n2. My mom takes back her car lease(taking up the back out fees) and just uses mine because the payments are cheaper.\n\nIf I choose 1, I will be able to keep my car. I am planning a cross country move next year and it would be helpful to have the car in some aspects, but on the other hand I could just take some clothes and electronics and fly.\n\nIf I choose 2, I will feel guilty for her having to pay so much for my screw up, and I won't be able to get a job outside of the plaza we live near. (there are about 20-40 places I could apply for in that area that are less than half a mile away.) I will also have to take a bus to my college campus.(I'm graduating through dual enrollment.)", "summary": "What option do I choose? Stressing myself out further, or allowing my mother to pay cancellation fees on another car payment so she can take up my cheaper car payment while I focus on school?"} {"id": "t3_2zxzaf", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Update: Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] have been together for three years, keeps messaging girls online this time i tried to leave him", "post": "Original: \n\nEveryone agreed that i should break up with him, and I kind of expected that. I know that i should so i tried again this morning. \n\nHe has been giving me attitude since yesterday after i told him i want to wait till I'm comfortable to have sex, he was being rude to me so i finally snapped and told him this morning he was a cheater and never cares about my feelings and i wanted him to move out. \n\nHe and i argued for hours on this, he says if i give him no choice in breaking up he'll give me no choice in staying together. I was putting my foot down telling him i deserve better and i won't be able to just move past this again. He then told me he will kill himself if i leave him, that its all going to be on me. I told him i would tell his family and warn them and he said he just won't go home. \n\nI have no clue what to do, i said i'd stay with him but just to know that i won't be happy and he doesn't seem to care. I honestly think he'd do it, and no matter what anyone tells me i will always blame myself, which will ultimately lead to me killing myself. I don't want to stay with him, i don't trust him. Please i need help on what to do.", "summary": "my bf who has hurt me physically and emotionally in the past won't let me leave him, and tells me he will kill himself if i do."} {"id": "t3_2ruhmb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[15/M] My Girlfriend Won't Let me Break up With Her", "post": "Me and her have been dating for almost 5 months. I've wanted to break up with her for over a month now and I brought it up right after Christmas, and she tried saying I don't have that option and stuff. She is really controlling and almost abusive kind of, she's 18 and she drinks and that kind of stuff and I don't, my dad was a really bad alcoholic so i've always been against that kind of stuff. But she pressured me into doing it. And at first I said I wasn't ready to do sexual stuff and she said if I didn't she'd tell my friends that I was scared to do it and stuff and she pretty much forced me into doing that too. She makes me give her passwords to all my stuff and let her look through it but I don't have any passwords to hers. And when she gets angry (which is often) she hits me sometimes and stuff like that kind of. \n\nWe aren't really broken up right now but I want to and I don't know what to do.", "summary": "I've been wanting to break up with my girlfriend for a while now but when I tried to she said that I can't and she's basically forcing me to stay together with her and I don't know what to do :/"} {"id": "t3_1nw52n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I (20F) getting major red flags from a guy I just met (20-something M) or am I just paranoid?", "post": "I work at a cafe and recognized a regular on the street. I'd had a few very brief interactions with him before, but I immediately recognized him because I'm fairly good with faces. I decided to say hi and make small talk, and I end up with his number. I had no intention of flirting, but I think he interpreted my approach the wrong way so he asked if I wanted to hang out sometime. I said sure why not, what's the harm in hanging out. I like getting to know people and he seems nice. \n\nI text him saying, \"Hey it's blahblah, let me know if you want to hang out\". He responds saying that he thinks I'm sexy and smart, and that he would love to hang out and potentially even cuddle. He says that he's so happy to have met me and that he could never forget our first encounter. \n\nI've never been on a date, never had a boyfriend, never flirted with someone so I had no clue how to respond. I was flattered but slightly put off to be honest. \n\nThen texts me that he has to tell me that I'm a huge turn-on for him.\n\nWooahh....does not compute...brain.not.functioning....I don't know where any of this came from. I've only known him by name for a week and we've only actually talked for a total of ~ 10 minutes. \n\nIs this just called being \"confident\" or is this guy just being creepy? Is it pathetic that I kind of enjoy this strange attention? People are telling me I should run for the hills, but I'm not quite sure what to do.", "summary": "Run into a regular from my work, he texts me after a ten minute conversation on the street that I'm sexy and a huge turn-on, wants to cuddle. Creepy/weird or acceptable?"} {"id": "t3_h6jai", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I need advice on how to support my friend after rehab, any suggestions on what to do/say?", "post": "In a couple of days my friend gets out of rehab (mostly coke but he uses other drugs as well). I really want to offer him support but I don't know how. Does anyone have experience with this? I want to help keep him motivated to stay sober. What should I say or do? I know it's not my responsibility that he stays sober, I just want to offer love and support and I don't know what to say to someone leaving rehab (Possibly pertinent info: I'm a woman, we've known each other since we were 7, we're mid 20's now, he'll be living in an isolated town where drug and alcohol abuse are fairly prevalent but I'll be living pretty far away).", "summary": "What should I say or do for my friend getting out of rehab? What are the best ways to support friends in difficult times?"} {"id": "t3_4ndkub", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "What reasons do you usually have for blocking somebody on Facebook or other social networking sites? Should the person on the receiving end of a block assume that they have done something wrong?", "post": "I've had no less than eight different women block me on Facebook. I really don't think this is normal. Every time it happens, I always automatically assume that it's my fault, and that the woman in question was taking action to reinforce her personal boundaries, which she felt to have been violated. I imagine them on the other side of the screen having a moment of \"Nope. Sorry. You are an extremely creepy person. I want you out of my life. Don't ever contact me again.\" It tends to happen after we have some sort of interaction, usually one that seemed to end on a positive note (in other words, they didn't seem at all angry or uncomfortable, but I'm assuming they were).\n\nIs that usually how it is for you? Are there other reasons for why you would block somebody - for example, you're just not interested in maintaining contact with that person (not because you find them \"creepy\" or anything), but you don't want to explicitly tell them off? Have you had to block very many people?\n\nI always take blocking extremely personally, like it's a poor reflection on my ability to read social cues and respect boundaries.", "summary": "I've been blocked by several people and immediately assume it's my fault. Are there other reasons for blocking someone that aren't necessarily a reflection on my character?"} {"id": "t3_1wwska", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "New rescue won't go to the bathroom outside", "post": "Everyone on here is always giving good advice so I was hoping to poll you guys as well. Here's my issue:\n\nI recently adopted a pretty abused Yorkie, he's two years old and is very timid around everyone. When I first got him, about a week ago, I was taking him out every 2-3 hours but could rarely get him to goto the bathroom. Instead, he just comes inside walks around my apartment for 10 minutes and then goes. I've tried every hour on the hour as well. It's been a week now and he's consistently doing this no matter how long we take him out for. We went on a nice long walk yesterday (thanks to warm weather) and he barely sniffed the ground. But, as soon as we came in, he went to the bathroom within 15 minutes. His foster mother said he knew to go outside but in the 8 days we've had him, he's only went outside about 7 or 8 times. What am I doing wrong? Any tips are appreciated!", "summary": "2yr old yorkie won't pee outside no matter how long we're out there. Goes inside within 20 minutes of coming back in."} {"id": "t3_3c9cm0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "After some changes at the office, a coworker from a different department ~ [28M] is now one of my [26F] direct reports. Problem is, we have not gotten along in the past and I don't think respects (or likes) me enough to take me seriously as a leader.", "post": "So sorry for the length! This is still a relatively new situation, so I'd appreciate some advice before approaching him to set expectations.", "summary": "My new direct deport and I have not gotten along in the past (because he's demanding, arrogant and uncooperative, in my admittedly subjective opinion). How do I confront him without causing more damage to our work relationship?"} {"id": "t3_3b1noz", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [35 M] wife [33 F] tells me that I can have sex with other women but she can't know about it", "post": "So, we're 8 years together and we have a son of 4 years. We have pretty great relationship together but there are two sticking points about our sex life.\n\nShe has always been somewhat lower drive than me but after our son the difference deepened. I'm always a bit hungry for more.\n\nSecond issue is much, much harder. She has some shame issues that she can't explain and that is the reason why she can't have orgasms while I'm present. She can do it alone in less than 5 minutes apparently.\n\nGiving orgasms is huge for me and at my age of 35 I can safely say I have never given someone as orgasm. Hell, I haven't even seen an orgasm. This really caused me a lot of pain. It's soul crushing. I do feel like a less of a man, a failure. \n\nSo, when I'm feeling low I try to talk about it. I'm not really sure why, perhaps seeking some hope that this could change or just to unburden my feelings of low self esteem. She doesn't want to talk about it and lately she just says I can find some women and have sex with her.\n\nI asked why. Because she wants me to be happy. Fair enough. But, she finds the thought of me being with someone else wildly offensive. So, I asked why again. And it's guilt. Massive amounts of guilt.\n\nI don't know. It makes me angry. She proposes a solution that is not really a solution and if I try to talk about out issues she shuts me up with this. Like this is a solution that solves everything but she can barely even say that aloud without getting overly emotional.\n\nEven if I'm inclined to do this it's impossible to keep it a secret. She knows me, she knows how I spend my time. I'm fully transparent to her and we have no trust issues. The idea that she wants me to lie to her and deceive her upsets me. I don't want to be a cheater and this is exactly what she proposes.\n \nI'm confused. I feel I can't even talk about our issues (my issues) with her anymore.", "summary": "She feels a lot of guilt over our sex life so gave me permission to sleep with someone else but asks to keep it a secret which is impossible. I'm upset because she proposes a solution which is not a solution at all."} {"id": "t3_2ydnd5", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17 M] cheated on my girlfriend [17 F] with my best friend [17 F] and feel like shit about it. GF forgave but friend avoids me.", "post": "Hey guys, throwaway account here.\n\nSo I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend, call her Mary, for about 2 and a half years. I've been very good friends with somebody else, call her Lisa, for about 3 and a half years.\n\nLast fall I went camping with Lisa. I'm not sure why I thought this would ever be okay but I felt her up in my tent (i.e. second base), during which she was very timidly affectionate (i.e. stroking my arm, light foreplay). At some point we stopped and went to bed. The next day the same thing happened, except that after a while she told me to stop, after which I immediately stopped and left the tent. \n\nShe seemed friendly for the rest of the day, even if things were a bit weird. I told her that I felt bad and wanted to confess to my girlfriend, which she told me not to do. (FYI she has a boyfriend.) The next day I got a text saying she told her boyfriend, so I then told my girlfriend the next morning. She was hurt but we made up and since then we've been closer, if anything. I apologized profusely but she insisted it was okay and that she's rather just move on.\n\nAnyway, Lisa seemed fairly friendly to me throughout this whole ordeal- we even met up once or twice in the next few weeks, during which she seemed lightly affectionate. (This weirded me out a bit and I tried to be as platonic as possible while still being friendly.)\n\nSince then she has basically said she wants space and has been a bit cold, but not completely silent towards me. \n\nI really feel terrible about the whole thing- I betrayed the trust of my SO, destroyed two important friendships (Lisa's and her BF's), and I may have physically violated a close friend of mine. If possible, I want to rekindle the friendships, but I'd also like some perspective on the whole situation.", "summary": "I felt up my best friend, cheating on my girlfriend. GF forgave me but my friend (and her boyfriend) avoid me. Feel like shit about the whole ordeal."} {"id": "t3_4ywd8x", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27 F] just broke things off with my SO [26 M] of one year. I think I did the right thing but why do I feel so terrible?", "post": "My boyfriend and I were together for just about a year. He is a perfect, caring boyfriend and has such a big heart. We get along great and always have a really fun time together. That being said, from the very beginning I felt as if there was something intangible that was missing.\n\nOver the past few months, I started to think more about marriage and children and for some reason just couldn't picture a future with him. The frustrating part is that he never did anything wrong, it was just a feeling I had that I couldn't explain.\n\nThe past few days, I woke up with a very anxious feeling in my stomach and chest. This morning, I knew I had to talk to him about it. I basically told him that he's perfect and I love him but I just don't see us getting married. He was shocked and super upset. Watching him cry made me feel so terrible because he is such a good person and someone I never wanted to hurt.\n\nHe is kind of a control freak and refused to believe that he didn't do something wrong, although I kept assuring him that he didn't. I feel awful that he thinks it's his fault, and I wish things were different and that I didn't feel this way. If I did the right thing, why do I feel so bad?", "summary": "Broke things off with my perfect boyfriend because something intangible is missing & I don't see us getting married. Not sure why I feel so shitty about it if i did the right thing."} {"id": "t3_b4l83", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What was the most random thing you've ever done?", "post": "Last year (my final year of college) my friend and I were sitting around having a beer after spending countless hours in the engineering building. We realized mardi gras was currently going on and figured a). we had nothing to do this weekend and b). when would be ever be able to pick up and go again.\n\nWe mapquested \"New Orleans, LA\" and made the 19 hour drive (departing from Michigan State University) and arrived about 7pm on Friday. Met a very nice couple who ironically had graduated from MSU (saw our shirts) and they gave us a mini-rundown. Friday night ended up staying out at the bar until 8am because we had no place to sleep. Ended up taking a couple hour power nap in the car, woke up, and did it all again. When 2am rolled around we once again slept in the car and set alarms for 7am. Woke up, made the drive back, and still made it to my 8am on Monday.\n\nWas honestly the most fun I've ever had in a weekend.", "summary": "Spur of the moment trip to Mardi Gras with no place to sleep/no reason to go other than nothing else to do"} {"id": "t3_4wzfyj", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [19 M] fiance [20 F] refuses to get a job after telling her my job can't support both of us [Relationship]", "post": "We've been dating for a year and a half and engaged for 6 months. She recently moved in with me and my parents and we planned to stay here for no more than a year or two. My parents offered as they leave for half the year to winter in the south and we could use the cheap rent and free car to use to save money for down the road. \n\nWe've been here 9 months and I've had a steady job for 8 of them. I don't make much but when almost all of it is spending/saving money instead of bills it feels like a lot. She also worked for 5 or so months but quit her job as, \"it was too hard on her body.\" Unfortunately she still wants to spend money and go out as though we are both working. Even with all the bills we don't have to pay, making less than $300 a week won't go far between two people. \n\nI've talked to her about it and she wants to try staying at home earning money off art commissions and streaming her art/gaming. She has plenty of savings thanks to some stocks from her parents, but it isn't smart to use that as a fallback if you don't have to. I've seen people be wildly successful on YouTube/Twitch, but I can't help but feel luck has something to do with it.\n\nI said I suppose it's technically her money, and she could try for a while, but now I'm really regretting it. I'm afraid she won't be able to tell if she is succeeding or failing and will just run herself into the ground. I haven't even hinted at it, but I don't know I want to be with her if she continues much longer. \n\nMaybe I'm wrong but trying something online thousands of people are already doing seems foolish. The internet is more clutter than actual talent and I doubt she'll be recognized for her art/gaming personality just because of how many others are trying. \n\nSo, that's it, thanks for your help and sorry in advance for any fuck ups in my post.", "summary": "Fiance wants to be a YouTuber/artist instead of having a job in a workplace and I feel my job alone can't support both of us and am considering leaving."} {"id": "t3_3j9e8n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24M] talked to a girl [20F] on a dating site. We get along, but as I lose interest, she is gaining it.", "post": "I started talking to a girl on a dating website. She's cute; I'm not head over heels for her, but I enjoy the \"company,\" I guess. One problem we addressed was that we live far away. She's 2 hours away and unable to drive. \n\nWe've been talking for about a week, and I've been just not feeling it for various reasons. I'd date her if she was close by, but I just don't feel overwhelmingly attracted to her like I feel I should. On the other hand, she thinks I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. I feel sad, because she generally cares about me as well. I care about her too, but just not in a way that makes me want to girlfriend her or anything. She is pressing for the date, but I really don't want to drive 2 hours for someone that I most likely won't want to continue things with.", "summary": "I don't really feel attracted to her as much as I thought I would be. She is pushing for a date, but she lives 2 hours away. I don't really want to get her hopes up or waste her time."} {"id": "t3_3ktvwl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Feels like I [26F] am always the one to initiate plans with my boyfriend [32M/] lately", "post": "I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months. In the past 2-3 months he's been particularly busy with work and we went from seeing each other from maybe twice a week to about once a week. We talk/text basically every day and we take turns initiating conversation. When it comes to making plans though, I feel like I'm always the one reaching out anymore. The last time he did initiate something, it fell through because he misread my response and thought I was indicating that I was busy that night, when in fact I was not.\n\nWhen I initiate plans, he always says yes and seems excited about it, and we always have a great time together, but I wish he'd suggest plans sometimes, too. I know things are always different at the very beginning of a relationship, but when we first started dating, it was the opposite - he always asked me out and because of that, I rarely initiated things. But at this point I feel like it should be 50/50. And I find myself getting nervous that maybe he doesn't really want to see me since he's not reaching out. But, as I mentioned, he does always say yes enthusiastically to whatever I suggest, and if it interferes with his work, he'll usually suggest an alternative. So, should I just keep on taking charge here? Maybe he feels like I prefer to be the maker of plans, so he's just allowed me to take over in that regard since he's been busy.. ? Or should I ask him to pick up the ball a little bit more?", "summary": "I'm always the one to initiate plans, and my boyfriend never says no to what I suggest, but it's just getting annoying that I always have to be the one to make plans if I want to see him."} {"id": "t3_359ilo", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "So I [F/24] have been seeing this guy [M/33] for about 3 weeks now but things have been moving way too fast to the point where I'm freaking out a bit?", "post": "So I've known him as a friend for almost 2 years now, but about 3 weeks ago we were hanging out at a park and out of nowhere he kissed me. Since then he's been extremely attached to me. \n\nHe's already talking about marriage and children. He's introduced me to his sister and he's already been talking to his parents about me. Yes we have hooked up twice only but wow I'm so scared because I didn't think he was gonna be this attached. This is going way too fast for me I'm at a point where I feel yes I wanna date but I don't wanna commit and get married just yet. \n\nDon't get me wrong, he's one of the most loving and caring people I've ever met, but it's the pace of this relationship that's scaring me off a little. If I break up with him I know he's gonna flip and talk about how he's already told his parents about me and such. He literally depends on me for happiness he's only happy if I'm keeping in touch with him throughout the whole day.\n\nThis is going way too fast to the point that I don't have a good feeling about it. I wanna break up but don't know the right words to say because I know for a fact he's gonna go ape shit on me. What are the right words I can say in a situation like this? I didn't mean to let things go this far, he's gonna feel like I led him on but this is all just way too fast for me. :(", "summary": "how to I break it gently to this man I've been seeing that I can't be with him because the pace of this relationship is moving waaaay too fast?"} {"id": "t3_wyh9x", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "As awesome as my mom is for what she was able to accomplish, she did some pretty fucked up things as a parent. Reddit, what are some of your fucked up parenting stories?", "post": "Now, I will admit, I wasn't the best child by any means, but here's a few glimpses into my childhood (or at least parts that I remember, I had severe emotional issues and blocked alot of shit out of my life hindering my ability to recall situations). I am 25 and have been on my own for nine years. My dad bounced back in 95 and I never heard from or saw him again, I don't even know if he is still alive. This situation left my mother, not a US born citizen, to raise three boys on her own. I am the middle child with one brother being 2 years older the other 3 years younger. My mom went on to own her own business cuz she's a rockstar, but we haven't spoken since she kicked me out at the age of 16. Some of the things I got in trouble over were pretty stupid, and my mom would beat me with a leather riding crop (no she wasn't a bdsm whore, we lived close to Kentucky and the horse track) and not just whoopings, she would use it on my face. Needless to say I learned my lessons quick, but still.", "summary": "my mom could be a real bitch and her forms of corporal punishment pushed the envelope, I just wanted to know your experiences."} {"id": "t3_1kn4oe", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I[26F] have been in a friends with benefit relationship with someone[26M] since the begining of the summer and he's sending me mixed messages...", "post": "So I've been sleeping with this guy since July and after a couple of weeks he told me he liked our relationship the way it was...or basicall that he didnt want nothing serious. I decided I was ok with it so we kept on hooking up. Since the last 2-3 weeks, he comes to my house at least 3-4 times a week and stay overnight. He is really affectionnate and takes care of me like he is my boyfriend. With time I think I developed feelings for him and I brought it up to him last Thursday and he said that he is emotionally not available and that he wouldn't be able to give me what I really want. I did told him about the way he acts with me and the way he takes care of me and he said that's just how he is. My friends think that his feeling for me can change since he actions and words are totally different. I dont want to get hurt...should I have hope that he will change ??", "summary": "Should I have hope his feeling for me are going to grow since he acts like he is more than my fuckfriend or should I take his words when he says he wants nothign serious ??"} {"id": "t3_1fszgc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Happy, successful people of Reddit, How did you get to where you are now?", "post": "I'm 23 years old and I have no idea of what i'm going to do with my life. I went to school for Architecture and i'm not even sure if I made the right choice. I'm working at a small architecture firm near my house, I still live with my parents, and I feel unhappy. My boyfriend is going off to grad school and my friends are either doing the same or having these awesome adventures.\n\nMeanwhile I feel stuck. The happiest I've been is when I studied abroad in Italy for three months. My boyfriend asked me to join him in California, but I know I shouldn't go just for him. \n\nI'm not asking for relationship advice, I'm asking for life advice. I would like to go to grad school but I'm afraid of the costs that would come with that. I want to go to Cali but i'm afraid of making the wrong choices. I feel like I wasted my college years and I feel like I haven't learned enough (not because I partied or anything, I really feel if I didn't have to commute two hours carrying my model and supplies and have a part time job on the weekends and evenings at the same time, I could have made better work)", "summary": "23 years old, depressed, wondering if I wasted my time in college by studying the wrong field, not feeling satisfied with life"} {"id": "t3_9t1d8", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I'm traveling to the UK for the first time. I have 8 full days to experience as much as I can. What should I do/see/eat/drink?", "post": "I was born and raised in the US, and currently live in Los Angeles where I'm attending grad school. I've only ever been to Mexico and Canada, and haven't seen much of either country. \n\nI will soon be out of grad school and crushed under a huge mountain of debt. I'll have little free time (gotta hit the ground running upon graduation) and little spending cash, so I won't be able to travel much.\n\nI had a 'dark night of the soul' a few months ago, when I freaked out about how little of the world I've actually seen, and how few 'free' years I have left. (Free of the responsibilities that come along with having a mortgage, a family, a full-time career, children, etc.) I have a friend who grew up in England, and currently lives in London. So I bought a plane ticket, and I'm crashing at her place. Yes, it's the middle of the semester. But fuck it. Life is short and the hand of Death tightens its grip on my shoulder a little bit more each day.\n\nI have 8 full days (days that do not involve sitting in a chair in the sky). I want to experience as much as I possibly can. I am open to any and all suggestions. I certainly want to do a few 'touristy' things, but more importantly I want to see The Real Shit. I want to experience the UK that people who live there experience. \n\nSo what's your favorite pub/restaurant/store/cafe/park/museum/etc.? I'm going to catalogue everything you suggest, and do as much as I possibly can. I will gladly ride a train at 7 am hungover as all hell if it means I was up until 3 am the night before at an unbelievable bar.", "summary": "I am traveling to the UK for the very first time and will have 8 days to experience as much as I can. All suggestions welcome. I will travel anywhere within the UK, so don't let distance limit your responses."} {"id": "t3_51blr9", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [36 F] GF just broke up with me [36 M] over me not being upset with her?", "post": "My GF and I have been dating for several months. Things have been going great. We're both divorced and have kids. \n\nThis weekend she was supposed to come to my mom's with me for my daughter's birthday party. She told me last night that she couldn't come. She wasn't sure she was ready to meet my mom and she needed money from teaching on Sunday that she couldn't be back for if she went. \n\nI took it super in stride. I was really cool about it. I didn't get upset in the least. I was disappointed, sure, but didn't do or say anything to let it on. This morning I got up and left. She was trying to get me to talk about it and say that something was wrong. Nothing was wrong from my point of view! I was still going to have a great weekend and nothing was going to ruin that. It seemed silly to be upset.\n\nAnyway, fast-forward a few hours, some texts, and she's breaking up with me. I guess she was just looking for a reason. It doesn't make any sense.\n\nI was really trying to be positive and look at the good things happening in my life, ignoring the bad. Was trying to be mature in the relationship and accept disappointment gracefully. This apparently triggered her? I don't know.\n\nAlso I've bought her an appliance after one of hers failed and bought her groceries a dozen times at least. I've spent a lot of money on her and have been generous because I know she doesn't have a lot of money and I'm doing fine financially. Now she's worried I'm going to keep the keyboard she loaned my daughter. She's texting me about it non-stop about how she needs to get that back ASAP. It's really offensive.\n\nWanted to tell the story. Feels bad man.", "summary": "GF Broke up with me because I'm not upset with her for disappointing me. Accuses me of wanting to steal from her after I've given her a ton of money. Feels bad man."} {"id": "t3_30r5a6", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU - by wiping my ass with a alcohol wipe.", "post": "Setting - Locomotive, the toilets in a engine are similar to a airplane but worse. But anyways. \n\nAlso usually a train runs with two engines on the head end (front), you never use the shitter in the front engine for a dump, neither yourself or the conductor want to smell that shit (literally).\n\nStory - So normally ones avoids having to take a shit in the locomotives cause the washrooms are gross, and you gotta do the good ole standing squat shit. But today for lunch I had eaten some ham & bean soup. Delicious... But a poor choice for a 12 shift on a train. So the time comes, and I grab a crew pak and walk to the second engine. A crew pak is a little sealed bag that has some napkins, small roll of TP and importantly later on 2 kinds of wipes. 4 wipes are merely soapy or whatever. 2 of them are 90% alcohol antiseptic wipes. \n\nAs I'm sure you've figured. I did my business, wipe my ass with the cheapo 1-ply from crew pak. But I decide to use one of the soap wipes just for extra measure. let's be honest this was a full on bean induced massacre, and I had used a fair amount of TP and my butthole was kinda raw already from wiping with such Crappy Rough toilet paper. \n\nSo it's dark out and cramped but I grabbed the first wipe packet tear it open and proceed to ensure my asshole is sneaky clean. \n\n Let me tell you 90% antiseptic wipes are not a pleasant feeling on your raw balloon knot. In fact it only increased that burning pain tenfold.", "summary": "took a bean induced shit on a train and mistook the antiseptic alcohol wipe for the soap wipe when ensuring a clean butt after. "} {"id": "t3_vz8wd", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "About to light up the managers of best buy, am I right to do so?", "post": "Last nite I took my wife to get her a new tablet from a best buy on the way home. After looking through them for awhile and asking the rep my tech questions to make sure she gets the right one, he walks us to the Asus tabs and sees that the price has been reduced by about sixty bucks. Thrilled I won't be spending as much as I had thought I tell the guy to ring us up. He goes to the back to grab it while we play with the display models. He returns and rings us up having difficulty with the price as it showed up normal instead of the advertised price, he then sees that the price he showed us was for the sixteen gig, where as we wanted the thirty two. He says he will honor the price but needs an over ride. Manager comes over, over rides, walks away, we finish paying and turn around to walk out, when the manager returns saying she must void the reciept. Me, furious as all hell tell her we were offered, accepted, and paid this price, and have our receipt with product in hand. She tells us we cannot leave the store or it would be considered stealing. Eventually I have to pay the remaining balance and leave for other matters I must attend to having already spent much longer than if hoped in best buy. Should I go back and rip into the manager or higher or is it worthless at this point? I'm not looking for free stuff (though I wouldn't turn it down) but I feel seriously wronged by the management and want them to feel as shitty as they made me feel.", "summary": "Quoted one price, required manager override, manager voided (after overriding) payment after checking out and said we had to pay full price, I'm pissed"} {"id": "t3_2x5a2d", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22 M] with my gf [23 F] I have trust issues.", "post": "Hey guys,\n\nLong time lurker and obvisilouly throwaway, Here is my situation I have been dating this beautiful girl for almost a year now. I love her and she loves me like crazy. But there is something about my past she doesn't know. I cheated on my ex, numerous times. I'm douche bag, I know. My current gf isn't aware of my past and she thinks i'm the most perfect guy out there. Although I have never cheated emotionally or physically on my current gf, I fear myself. I'm worried if I would fuck up. My concern is that my EX never knew I cheated on her. I'm very good at talking my way out of things and she never caught me, nothing to be proud off but FYI. My current gf goes to school and I work 40hrs. She stays back and does projects with her group which sometimes include guys. I know nothing is going on as I'm close with all the girls and most importantly I trust her. Yet yet I worry, I worry if she is doing something wrong. My gf felt that i was a bit worried few days that she even send me pictures of what they are doing and stuff. I worry if she is cheating on me just like I cheated on my ex. I can't get this thoughts out of my head and its slowly impacting our relationship. I'm getting easily frustrated and worried. I don't know what to do. I can't tell my gf about my past but this thoughts is wrecking my confidence and my relationship.\n\nThoughts?", "summary": "Cheated on my ex numerous times without getting caught, worries if my current gf is doing the same even though i have no proof that she is cheating."} {"id": "t3_31n750", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Young(ish) Urban Professional with family needs help controlling debt and investments", "post": "**About Us**\n\nI am 32 years old, and have been an attorney for four years. My wife has a post-graduate degree in social work and has been working as a consultant with unstable income, because of having two kids in the last few years. We did not manage our income and debt terribly well during either of the post-birth income dips, and have accumulated a lot of debt. We also have lots of student debt.\n\n**The State of Our Finances**\n\nI put together a snapshot of our finances [here](\n\n**Goals**\n\n* Pay down our unsecured debt\n* Build up an emergency fund\n* Make space to invest in retirement and college savings\n* Eliminate unnecessary expenditures and investments\n\n**A couple of miscellaneous points**:\n\nFirst, about $300/mo. of our insurance payments go to whole life policies. I cannot tell from the literature whether that makes any sense, but my gut is telling me to get rid of those policies.\n\nSecond, childcare is a huge line item in our monthly budget, but that will be steadily decreasing as our children grow older and childcare costs either decrease or are replaced by lower private school tuition (I live in a city where nobody sends their children to public schools if they can afford private schools).\n\nMy stated income does not account for yearly bonuses, which have averaged about $10,000, but I started at a new firm recently so I am not certain what bonuses will be going forward. I expect my income to increase every year until I retire.\n\nMy new firm will not match any 401(k) contributions until I have one year on the job (approximately 9 months from now). I am not currently contributing to my 401(k).", "summary": "Yuppie with wife and 2 kids making good money but with lots of debt and expenses trying to create plan for moving forward."} {"id": "t3_4pqexa", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Using an HSA while unemployed - do I still need a high-deductible plan?", "post": "I'm navigating being primarily a contract worker, and my current contract is up on June 30, meaning I get to crawl back to Covered California for my health insurance for now. I'm expecting to actually use it (therapy and prescriptions and such), meaning I can't just do a Bronze or High Deductible, and I don't expect to be unemployed very long. I have an HSA account, and I've read that I can use HSA funds to pay my premium for Bronze or Silver level, but it's unclear if that works for Gold (no deductible). HSAs say that it needs to be a High-Deductible Plan, but also that if I'm unemployed I can use HSA funds to pay my premiums, and then I can get those taxes back (at least federally).", "summary": "Can I use HSA funds to pay my premiums for a Gold no-deductible health plan if I'm unemployed?"} {"id": "t3_4bl6v7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [26F] and husband [27M] with our roommate [22M], how to be delicate about hygiene?", "post": "Hubby and I just moved to Texas from IL and to make the move easier, we are living with a longtime friend of ours so we can split bills when we find new jobs.\n\nIt's been since March 16th and he has taken exactly one shower. And I snooped and he has zero deodorant in the bathroom and it smells as though he wears none. It's bad. Like, open the windows and Febreeze the carpet and vacuum when he leaves for work bad.\n\nHusband told him yesterday he needs a shower when I wasn't in the room to try and let him know without embarrassing him. He told me that the roommate said \"ok\", but as of right now, he has not taken the shower.\n\nShort of spraying him with Febreeze as soon as he walks in, how do we bring this up again without being rude, but with enough force that he understands he really needs to shower at least every day if he doesn't wear deodorant or he needs to get some and shower every other day? Since he's being really accommodating with us moving in, is it rude to request this of him?", "summary": "Roomie won't shower, despite being told straight up he needs to shower. How do we be nice, but firm?"} {"id": "t3_52cwdc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "(Ex)Girlfriend (22F) and I (22M) broke off our relationship of 3 years and knowing each other of 8 years.", "post": "The title says it all. Me (22M) and my now ex girlfriend (22F) split up yesterday because she has feelings for someone else and wants to explore those feelings because she thinks if she stays with me, in the future, in the back of her head she'll always wonder \"what if I did explore those feelings, where would I be now?\" I really don't see myself without her and I honestly can't imagine my life without her either. We've known each other for 8 years and have been dating for 3. I'm not sure if she's just confused or anything but I've just been having some really bad and nasty thoughts about how I won't be able to be without her. I want to be with her but I'm not sure what to do anymore.\n\nCan anyone just give me advice on what they think I should do?\n\nI'm not sure if this belongs on this thread or if this is something more necessary for the something more serious but I decided to post here.", "summary": "girlfriend and I broke up because she decided she wants to explore feelings for other guy in case she regrets not exploring them. I'm having nasty, awful thoughts of not existing anywhere."} {"id": "t3_r2o0i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My girlfriend eats all of my food.", "post": "I'm 21m and she is 20f. We've been together since we were both 16....\n\nRight now I'm a student. I'm in my 4th year in a very difficult major at a good university, so I have to spend a lot of time studying. I'm also an intern at one of the largest corporations, and I have a job lined up after graduation. So, while future prospects look good, I'm poor as fuck right now. My parents are just as poor as me, so I can't ask for money. I'm living in a super small studio apartment and live very frugally, so I get by. \n\nMy girlfriend is currently in school too, but she lives with her family. They're really abusive and she wants to move out, but her internship is unpaid, so she's poorer than me and can't afford to. Her family often kicks her out then forget about their argument after a week and let her move back in. During those few days, she usually crashes with me. It gets soooo cramped, but she's got nowhere else to go, so I'm fine with it.\n\nThe problem is that she eats all my food. I live off of beans, rice, eggs, and ramen noodles. I can't afford to feed us both, even if it's just one week a month. I'm perfectly ok with her staying with me, but I really need her to throw in a few bucks for food or buy her own.\n\nHow do I ask this? I don't want her to think I don't care about her or make her feel unwelcome, and she probably doesn't have a few bucks anyway.", "summary": "I'm poor. My girlfriend is poor. Sometimes she stays with me. She eats all my food. I want her to pay for it. How do I ask her?"} {"id": "t3_43dp4o", "subreddit": "running", "title": "Running my first race (10k) next Saturday, any tips?", "post": "Only race I've ever done was a 5k I rollerbladed back in '06 or '07. I'm not really sure if there's anything I need to know beforehand? Etiquette?\n\nI also have a half marathon coming up soon (Hollywood Half-Marathon) and I'm wondering if I should up my training level for that?\n\nRight now I'm pretty wimpy when it comes to running. I'm running more for increasing my overall fitness than speed.... I can only do a ten minute mile :O\n\nOne last thing- I broke my left ankle back in 2012 and it's still pretty weak. Is it better to train without a brace and do long runs/races with one? Or always use one? And my right ankle is pretty weak as well (gymnastics seriously kills your joints, my knees suck as well), so should I use a brace on that ankle as well for preventative measures?\n\nAlso also (so sorry for all the questions)- are there certain exercises/stretches you use to strengthen your ankles and knees?", "summary": "My ankles and knees suck, I'm running a 10k and half-marathon soon, what should I know?"} {"id": "t3_19pivr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My[20] long distance girlfriend[19] of 3 years has had almost zero interest in the physical side of our relationship for a few months now. What can I do?", "post": "We used to be a very physical couple with lots of making out and fooling around whenever we'd get to see each other but over the past few months we've stopped doing much of anything besides kiss a bit every once in a while. Part of the problem started when my family moved resulting in a loss of privacy that the old house provided whenever I would come home to see her. Her house also is not that private. Ideally she would come down to visit me at college to see me on the weekends, but she is never able to get her Friday or Sunday shifts off at work and can't. The problem though is that even when we do get some privacy she still is never that interested in anything other than cuddling. What can I do? I really care about her and love spending time with her, I'd just like to explore the physical side of our relationship more.", "summary": "Long distance gf has no interest in physical side of relationship when i visit. How can i rekindle the flames of passion?"} {"id": "t3_411vvr", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[28f] Afraid to live together with [42M] as it might decrease our sex life.", "post": "I've never lived together with a partner. I really like the guy I've been seeing and he really likes me too. I am considering moving in with him, as he owns his place, it would help with my finances, he'll get my fabulous cooking, and it'll take our relationship to the next level. \n\nDue to his work, he is only in town 1 week per month, so moving in will allow us to spend more quality time together, when he is actually in town. Plus with time away, it wont be all clingy, and I will still have my space (which is important to me). \n\nBut I am really genuinely afraid that we'll have less sex if we live together, and it'll be less fun, and less interesting (cause we'll constantly see one another... or be in one anothers' space). I *love* our intimate time, and don't want to lose that, and for that reason alone, I wouldn't mind being in a hard financial situation and keep my apartment, in order to preserve that special time. Money will come. Money will go.... awesome intimate time.... thats a rarity and it can't go!! haha...\n\nI am also afraid that if we live together, I'll (or he'll) find random things to be nit-picky about... and I don't want to do that... I want to be happy and I want him to be happy, I especially don't want to find odd things to be upset about. Even though I've never done that in my life.... you just see it in movies/TV... so maybe its an irrational fear? IDK.", "summary": "Advice from people that have moved in together? Do ya'll have less sex now that live together? Is it less fun/passionate/kinky/enjoyable?"} {"id": "t3_1qyi4v", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Don't piss off the guy who handles your groceries...", "post": "I work at a grocery store, it's one of the medium class places that have people who bag/load your groceries. I am unfortunate enough to have the job of bagging the groceries for ungrateful, holier-than-thou dickbags all day. I have several ways I get petty revenge, ranging from the usual to the creative.\n\nThe most common way I try to enact revenge is overloading the bags. You can load them just right, so that if you're gentle the bag is perfectly fine. But, if you like to fling the bag around, like many of these asshats do when putting the bags in their car, the bottom will bust out.\n\nI also do what I like to call the 'fruit slam'. When handling easily bruised fruit, I'll slam it down in their basket. It doesn't visibly damage the fruit, but it leaves them nice and bruised by the time the customer gets home.\n\nThe last method is often paired with this one, the 'egg drop'. Here, the eggs may 'accidentally' get banged around a bit while being placed in the cart. Not enough they start to leak out of the carton, but enough that some of the eggs are rendered unusable.\n\nNow, the revenge methods above are usually enough to satisfy my need for petty revenge. But, as anyone who works in retail knows, some people just deserve more than the standard treatment, and my last resort is this;\n\nWe all know those [Klondike bar packs] and as we also know Klondike bars are the shit. Sometimes, when loading these, I'll press my thumbs into where I'm holding it. This effectively breaks the Klondike bar, making it a crumbly mess. I've only had to resort to this method a handful of times, but the joy I get from it every time is great.", "summary": "If you're mean to me, I'll bruise your fruit, break your eggs and ruin your Klondike bars."} {"id": "t3_2dgswt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26/f] am having a hard time moving from \"sleep over fun\" to \"we can do our own things together\" with my boyfriend [26/m]- Any tips on being less sensitive about it?", "post": "We're in the process of moving in together; he's fully moved in to our apt, I won't be 100% moved in for a few more months, but I'm spending 5-6 nights a week there.\n\nIn our year+ relationship, we never established the \"doing our own thing apart while in the same space\" thing. Last night we had a bit of a dumb fight (seriously dumb, it was about our opposing views on Miley Cyrus, who really neither of us care about at all), which led to hurt feelings and time spent in different rooms. We never fight this dumb. It just triggered my anxiety, made me sad that we were wasting a night, that all our evening was going to be was that dumb, dumb fight and then sleep....\n\nWe talked/reconvened at the end of the night, agreed it was dumb and that clearly we were being overly argumentative about something neither of us cared about. But whereas I saw it as a \"waste of an evening\" he saw it as \"we have so many more evenings together.\" I want to see it like him, but I'm harping on how dumb it all was, and mourning the loss of time. I wish I wasn't, but I am and I'd like to just be more comfortable in times like this if we could just do our own thing and not feel so sensitive that we're not spending quality time together.", "summary": "How to move seamlessly from every night being quality time together --> some nights being together but apart? I'm clearly being oversensitive and would like some tips, if you have any!"} {"id": "t3_tp4h0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What are some of the things someone should do to prepare to get their school in a conservative community to let them start a gay-straight alliance?", "post": "A friend from the high school I graduated from is hoping to start a gay-straight alliance there. We're from the middle of the bible belt, and he's anticipating some potential backlash/the administration possibly trying to block the formation or change his mind. We're hoping our administration will be open to the idea, but given the community we're from, there's a chance that they could put up resistance. Of course if they put up too much of a fight, he's prepared to go to the ACLU, but he's hoping it doesn't come to that. \nWhat kinds of things does he need to be prepared for in terms of the arguments they might try to make, and what kinds of arguments does he need to have prepared from the outset? Do you have any other suggestions for the types of things he needs to do to prepare before he goes to the administration? \nWe're hoping to be as ready as possible before he presents the idea to the administration in the fall so that we have the best possible chance of getting a GSA created without having the situation stir up a bunch of drama or other problems. Thanks!", "summary": "\u2013 What arguments should we be prepared for before we present the idea of a GSA to the administration at our school in the middle of the bible belt?"} {"id": "t3_43v63m", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "i (23f) need to break up with my boyfriend (24m) after he cheated on me. Together one year and he's rhe first guy to ever love me. How is it even possible to leave him? My head is spinning and I'm nauseated at the thought of not having him.", "post": "Friday night I caught him red handed cheating on me. Saturday he apologized but spun the cheating on me saying we had never agreed to be exclusive (we certainly had and it was clear in my mind), Monday I had a make or break exam which I tried to clear my head and study for but couldn't so I failed it getting like a 40% when I needed an 85% to pass so my life in general is in shambles.\n\nHe's not the first guy I've been with, he's not the first guy I've been in love with but he's the first guy who's ever loved me an said so. My entire world and future was build around our life together. I'm sick to my stomach at the thought of leaving him and I can't imagine that we won't have our usual Thursday date if I break up with him. I won't be able to call his mom to chat, I won't get to smell his shirts after he goes to the gym (I love this btw--I know it's weird)...none of that will happen ever again if i break up with him.\n\nI'm a bigger girl so I know full well how hard it is to find love and this seemed like the ONE for me. He wants to stay with me but I assume with the condition he gets to sleep around--I want no one but him. I know this won't work but part of my brain is rationalizing that if I just keep quiet than I can habe everything we've had. Would love ANY advice.", "summary": "need to break up with boyfriend but I just can't seem to. I can't imagine my life without him. Would love any tips."} {"id": "t3_13lfqq", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, what type of crazy requests have your dating prospects or hookups asked you?", "post": "**Backstory:**\nGirl I met at a bar and I start texting. Over the course of a few weeks she comes over to cuddle and watch movies just a few times. She's cool with me playing with her over her shirt, but really nothing else, which I thought was weird, but I think \"Hey, it's whatever.\" \n\nShe says she doesn't want to talk about any relationships, in one instance breaking things off after I even brought up anything about a relationship... but she is crazy affectionate in weird ways. (coming up behind me for a hug, smelling me?, playing with my hair, telling me I'm sexy and she misses and likes to play with my hair.) \n\nAnyway, she comes over the other night for drinks and a movie and drops liners like \"I think it's sexy when a guy gets drunk\", \"I like the smell of alcohol on the breath\" and doesn't want to get drunk herself, because she reportedly gets really sad and cries when she's had much alcohol at all. Which leads me to think this girl is just going to try to take advantage of me, cool with me I guess. \n\nShe drinks a beer, I down several mixed drinks. We watch a show (her choice as usual is a skanky comedy with lots of sex and nudity). I start trying to encourage sexual contact due to perceived signals but then she backs off. After this calms down, she turns to me and says \"I just wanna watch you sleep, is that cool?\", which creeps me the hell out.", "summary": "Girl I've been talking to for a while (no sex) gives lots of signals, shuts me down, then asks if she can watch me sleep, creeping me out. "} {"id": "t3_290uma", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "I just lied about having a job...", "post": "In May, I graduated from University after 7 years, 4 universities, and 3 road trips across the US. It feels fucking good man. It was a wild ride and I enjoyed it all. There was shit and there was happiness (a lot of both actually). I met some great people that have become family. After graduating, I decided to work one more summer for maintenance at the university. I have grown to hate my job and everything about it, so I decided last week that I was going to move home - something I had planned on doing in august. Today I told my friends that I got a job and that is the reason why I am leaving. Truth is, I don't have a job. I have three interviews in my home city. I'm excited about moving back because I love my city and my family and my friends. But I feel like shit that I lied to these people I consider family. I just didn't want to deal with them questioning me why I was leaving without a job. The problem with the lie - other than I love these people - is that I am a superstitious guy. I hope I didn't just fuck myself in the karma department and lost all three opportunities. Things will turn out alright, I just needed to tell someone.\n\nThanks for reading this wall of text.", "summary": "I lied about having a job to my friends from university. I feel bad about it, and I think I jinxed myself for getting a job. Oh well."} {"id": "t3_3291e0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [16 M] with my friends was a huge douche for a while. Realize this now, and want to make amends.", "post": "Ok. So I started at a new school earlier this year and started off great. I made a bunch of friends and things were going great. Then, around late February, I started doing some weird things. I made comments and acted like a huge douche. I thought I was smarter and better than everyone around me, and showed that. Basically, I was like the people over at /r/iamverysmart. I didn't do this type of behavior for too long, only for a week or two. But I think my friends got kind of sick of me and things seem rocky. What can I do to help repair my relations? We are still on speaking terms, but none of them seem to want to hold a conversation for longer than two or three \nminutes because they think I'll go back into douche mode. What can I do?", "summary": "I was a douchebag for a couple of weeks, and my friends seem to be annoyed at me. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_20t1ui", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Is It Bullshit?: Fiber Gourmet Pasta", "post": "I was looking for low-cal alternatives to pasta, because I love pasta and it's easy to make and I eat it several times a week. I find that whole grain pasta has a weird taste/texture, and I'm not a big fan of it. \n\nI was doing some research into spaghetti squash (which is on my grocery list for next time), but I also heard someone rave about some high-fiber pasta brand so I looked into it.\n\nWhat sorcery is this? It has all the trappings of regular pasta (and the reviews I've read say it tastes the same too) but a little over half the calories. My mind boggles over how much extra pasta I could eat! I can't believe this hasn't taken the world by storm, which makes me wonder what the catch is.", "summary": "Has anyone on here tried these high-fiber low-calorie types of pastas? What's the deal? What's the downside?"} {"id": "t3_130frg", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Is it viable to stay in a long-term relationship when you no longer find your SO attractive?", "post": "Background: I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and I love him to pieces. However, he has always been struggling with his gender identity. After suppressing this for most of his life, he's finally starting to accept himself. He likes to wear skirts or dresses a lot. At the beginning of the relationship he seemed rather insecure about it and kept asking me what I think about it, and I did the noble thing (I'd like to think), which is to encourage him as much as I could, often told him how pretty he looked (sincere comments, I'd like to add). So in the last couple of months, he's been wearing women's clothing and make-up more often than not. He also has the most gorgeous long hair. Again, I've been encouraging him to express himself and I'm happy that he feels comfortable in doing so. But the problem is... I don't feel attracted to him when he looks so feminine. I'm actually surprised at myself for it, as I'm bisexual. But yeah, we haven't had sex in the last 6 months or so quite simply because I haven't felt any kind of sexual attraction towards him. Am I being an insensitive jerk?", "summary": "bf likes to wear women's clothing. I love him very much, but I don't find myself sexually attracted to him when he does. Can we stay in a long-term relationship?"} {"id": "t3_1pw448", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] with a low sex drive my GF [24 F] with a high sex drive are having issues", "post": "I've been dating my GF for a little over a year now, we have been living together for about a year. Everything has been a crazy whirlwind of a relationship and everything just clicked! We fell in love instantly, we are best friends and we are madly in love with each other. We spend almost every moment together (except for work) and we are just happier than anything... except in the bedroom...\n\nI (27 M) have a relatively low sex drive. I've always known I was a victim of it. She, on the other hand, has a very high sex drive. If it were up to her, we would be intimate at least once a day. In the early stages of our relationship we would be intimate several times a day, and at least once everyday. Now that we've been together for a while it has dropped to maybe a few times a week and it's all because of me. \n\nMy GF is smoking hot, in great shape and really tries hard to get me in the mood (dressing up, kissing, touching, etc...). However, more times than not I'm not interested or unable to preform. This is really driving a wedge in our relationship. We have fought on multiple occasions over this and it seems silly because we get along so well with everything else. Is there an easy solution to this problem? Have other people experienced this? Do relationships work if the partner's sex drive differs greatly? Do relationships end on the premise of sex alone??", "summary": "Smoking hot [24 F] GF has a high sex drive and I, [27 M] has a really low sex drive. It's driving a wedge in our relationship. What should we do?"} {"id": "t3_2e1xxc", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Weird situation, best way to approach this?", "post": "Ok so I never use online dating, but I recently checked out a website that caters to my ethnic group, which is pretty tiny where I live. I found a profile of this girl who seems awesome, and I really think we'd hit it off. After a little bit of sleuthing I found out her family owns a local restaurant, and our parents actually know each other.\n\nSo basically, my problem is this, should I try to go about this in a way where I arrange a situation where we meet IRL, say by dropping into the restaurant where I know she spends a lot of time, or should I just go for it through the website?\n\nAs I see it, the pros for the IRL route are that it's just a hell of a lot smoother and more spontaneous/romantic/whatever. I feel pretty confident that I could sweet talk her into a casual date in person, but I have no idea how I might come across on the internet. \n\nThe cons of this situation are that our parents might figure out what's up, start getting nosey and being a pain in the ass/fuck up my game. Also, I'm worried I could just strike out by going into the restaurant repeatedly and somehow failing to encounter the girl, at which point asking her out online would come across as way too creepy and would be off the table since her family would eventually tip her off to the fact I've been coming around.\n\nThe online route seems straightforward, basically guaranteed that I reach her, but there's the risk of just being ignored or her not really being interested, which I'm confident is less likely in person. Also, the IRL route is off the table if I get ignored/denied online, as that too would come across as extremely creepy.\n\nFWIW we're both 28, comfortably employed professionals, and I'm looking for something serious/long-term (partly why I'm so reluctant to go the internet route, really seems to fuck with the narrative)", "summary": "Saw a profile of a girl online and figured out she's the daughter of some family friends. Do I ask her out online or attempt to arrange an encounter in person to ask her out?"} {"id": "t3_vk3z4", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "Hey Reddit, I feel heartbroken. Should I be?", "post": "Hey Reddit,\n\nAbout 3 years ago I met a girl from the US on omegle (oh god). We started to talk and at the end of the conversation she gave me her msn address. First 6 months it was just IM'ing and later we began to Skype. \n\nWe shared everything with each other, I literally know almost everything about her and she about me. \n\nLittle by little we got to know more about each other and about 1 1/2 year ago we admitted we had feelings for each other. Bear in mind, we hadn't met each other in real life yet. \n\nSince then we talked almost every day on Skype. We did a lot with each other. Things like playing videogames together and watching movies and series. We talked about our lifes, what was bothering us or which problems we encountered and helped each other deal with obstacles.\n\nOfcourse there were some other problems too. I have been getting angry at her quite often, often for no actual reason, which naturally hurted her. I just found out I have adhd and learnt that causes a lot of behavioural problems.\n\nLately she has gotten very busy with her work and family and we haven't talked to each other that much. \n\n2 days ago I found out that she made a facebook account with 3 friends. One of the persons I saw was new to me. it was a boy, let's call him Evan.\n\nSo yesterday we talked since a week. After some talking I told her that I saw that she made a fb account. She told me she did. I then asked who Evan was and she told him she met him via one of her friends. I asked her straight to the point if she fancied him because I suspected there were things going on. \n\nShe admitted that she did, and that they have been texting a lot but didn't really hang out yet.\n\nI feel heartbroken, betrayed, and immense sad. Should I be?", "summary": "had a online relationship with a girl, she met a boy last week and has feelings from him. I feel heartbroken."} {"id": "t3_3yxhkn", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Should I take out a student loan for a new computer?", "post": "I am a 21 year old college student, I'm in my junior year of an engineering degree. I intend to get my masters as well, so I am looking at a good 3.5 years of school still to go.\nMy current computer is 4 years old and starting to fall apart (cd player cover has fallen off, hinge is getting unstable, ect.), but still runs ok for now. There is no way that it will last all the way through my education, so I will definitely need a new computer at some point.\n\nI have been able to stay out of debt thus far. I have scholarships that have covered my tuition and I live at home in order to avoid paying for housing/rent. I have always had a job while in school, but usually with very few overall hours. After my normal expenses (gas, food, phone bill, ect.) I usually have very little money left over, so I have pretty much no money in savings. I would have to cut a lot of expenses for a long period of time to save enough money for a new computer.\n\nSo my question: Is it worth taking out my first (and hopefully only) student loan in order to get a new computer? In engineering I use my computer a lot and I need something relatively powerful to run some of the software I use. I would ideally like to get something like the Surface Book ($1700) or maybe even the Surface Pro 4 ($1300).", "summary": "I am an engineering student, I need a new computer, I have no debt but also no savings. Is it worth taking out $1500ish in student loans to invest in a good computer?"} {"id": "t3_2i04ry", "subreddit": "dogs", "title": "My neighbor (townhouse) got the sweetest puppy. They keep it locked up on their deck. Feces is everywhere.", "post": "I live in a townhouse, and my neighbor has a unloved puppy they just keep on their deck 24/7, never cleaning up the poop, and never getting walked, and I've never seen anything resembling care that a puppy should receive other than providing it with a bowl of food/water. \nIt smells really really bad. I can smell the poop from my upper bedroom if my window is open. Being outside on my deck is unbearable with all the flies feasting on the poop and it smells like a petting zoo. \nI don't think they are fit to own this puppy, and my heart breaks for this dog, who looks incredibly sad and lonely and just lays around in detached loneliness.\nI'm not a dog person. I've never owned a dog. I don't know if they are breaking any dog laws in the state of VA.\nAny help suggestions?", "summary": "2 big problems: 1) tons of dog poop piling up mere feet away from my deck/windows 2) even bigger of a concern, neglected puppy, really wish this puppy could find a loving home."} {"id": "t3_2n89vq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend (m20) and I (f20) decided to go on a 'break' today, but honestly I feel like this break is a break up. I still love him but should I delete everything of him? Is it wrong not to?", "post": "My SO told me he didnt feel the same about me. At first we tried to get the spark back but it was more like ignoring the issue. Now we are on a 'break'... He said that he doesn't want to put an ending date to our break he will just message me when he knows what he wants. I was too weak to go tell him to fuck himself. \n\nI don't want this relationship to be over, I honestly didn't see anything was wrong (probably part of the problem). Now I'm here on reddit, I don't even know what I'm asking you guys! Should I delete everything about him, including viber (i won't know if he ever messages me if I do). \n\nI know everything gets better, but we also have a trip to Thailand booked in 2 months... I feel like it's such a waste of money if we don't go and I don't want to take anybody else, and i won't want him to take anyone else. It's stupid to even care about this. \n\nI still want to be with him, he's somebody that has challenged me and changed me for the better, he said he wants the relationship to work for me but not for himself so I told him I'm not going to be his excuse.", "summary": "SO of 2 years wants a 'break' and said he will contact me when he knows what he wants. I don't know how to be or what to do, should I delete everything of him?"} {"id": "t3_nj8h1", "subreddit": "BreakUps", "title": "three weeks into the break up with my ex-gf (long)...", "post": "New to reddit here, so hello. A friend of mine told me this was the place to go to when you're dealing with unwanted emotions. \nAlright, straight to the issue. I'm stuck in introspective mode. I (age 21) broke up with my gf (age 23) a few weeks ago and i'm going through the motions; guilt, longing, acceptance, \" fuck it, i'm free!\"-mode, etc. We were together for around two years and it was a long distance relationship. Our relationship was never easy. Three months after my previous (1 yr) relationship i initiated the relationship. I was looking for something casual because my previous relationship didn't end on the best of terms and she was looking for something more serious. I told her from the beginning that I wasn't ready for anything serious but I felt like if i didn't tell her what she wanted to hear I'd lose her. She's one of those brilliant shy types. Here's where it gets complicated. Right after we start this relationship I have to move. I couldn't afford my place, wasn't getting enough hours, wasn't in school, not really going anywhere in life,etc; so I moved back in with my family. We both had bad experiences with LDR, the answer seemed pretty obvious. We remained friends, I went back to school & figured out my major, our relationship became one of those on and off relationships. We would break up, then see each other and get back together. We kept breaking up because of the problems that come with a LDR. Everyone-including the participants,was getting sick of it.\nAs i said before, i ended up breaking it off a few weeks ago. She kept telling me that we could make it work but nothing was changing. I felt, and feel, like our relationship was preventing the other person from enjoying our youth. It was exhausting. The unnecessary jealousy, the constant dream of eventually being physically together, etc. \nWhen we had problems i would reassure her, and myself, by saying \" In __ years we'll be able to be together. Other couples have done it!! That could be us!\". \nFuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. I probably sound like a douche.", "summary": "3 weeks into a LT/LDR break up with an amazing chick. Feeling emo/venting/trying to buck up."} {"id": "t3_3wi3gn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] have a long distance girlfriend [23 F] who this week has gone completely numb and I don't know what to do", "post": "I've had to make a throwaway as my girlfriend is aware of my main reddit account. Rather she didn't discover this.\n\nI live in the UK and she lives in USA (8hr time difference) she's in grad school and I'm full time working. Dating since August. Few visits to each other which all went super well.\n\nShe was diagnosed with depression before we were dating and providing she stays busy it's not really been an issue. We would talk all the time about random things when we could, Skype, all the normal long distance stuff.\n\nJust this past week she has told me ALL of her emotions have become numb. She tells me she only tolerates our conversations and feels like she belittles me when talking to me about stuff. With her being an American I've always been curious about American culture so she's taught me lots of things about it, so naturally I ask questions.\n\nShe wants to have more stimulating conversations with me but whenever I try to she is either busy with grad school or is just not interested. I'm almost always the person who has to start the conversation with her and her contributions are always minimal. When bringing this up with her she had no reply to it.\n\nLast night I ended up losing my cool with her after she insulted me and called me an idiot. which I know is a huge mistake, even more so because she is diagnosed depressed, I apologised and went to sleep thinking I couldn't do anymore damage if I didn't reply.\n\nShe's asleep right now and I don't know what to do... I love her dearly and I don't want to give up on it, I keep telling myself it's just the depression but part of me is thinking it's more than that.", "summary": "together since august, long distance, she has depression, arguing and being numb emotionally since just last week. Lost my cool and argued back, feel horrible for it, dunno what to do next."} {"id": "t3_1nhobw", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "I'm terrible at beginning relationships.", "post": "I literally have no idea how to do it. Every relationship I've been (all 3) were essentially set up by friends. None of them lasted longer than a few weeks, either... all high school relationships though, to be fair.\n\nI'm now at college 2000 miles away from home (school in Ohio, I'm from Washington), and I don't have friends to do everything for me any more. I generally don't mind being an introverted person. I have fairly limited hobbies, I mostly just drum a lot, so I don't have much in common with most people who aren't also musicians. That said, however, I really want to start dating more this year, and maybe even (gasp) get farther than making out with a girl for once. \n\nI don't even know where to start. I overanalyze everything, and whenever I even consider asking a girl out I get that weird sinking feeling in my stomach. It's like performing in front of 2500 people, except that doesn't even make me nervous anymore. Asking someone out to dinner? Helll no, probably because I've never done it. What's she gonna way? What will we do? Where will we go? Does she have a boyfriend I don't know about? What will we do after dinner? What do I wear? On, and on, and on, all this meaningless bullshit running through my head.\n\nTalking to girls is fine, as long as they're someone I'm interested in and have things to talk about with. The girl I'm interested in right now, for example - we're in the same language class, she's also a percussionist, etc. She's awesome, funny, all that. Conversation while we're studying for physics? Sure. Asking her to dinner on Friday? All the words get stuck in my head.\n\nSo... What's the difference? How do I break from having my friends set up relationships - i.e. tell me the girl likes me, tell the girl I like her, until there's no doubt she'll say yes - to actually growing a pair and doing shit on my own? I'm determined not to spend the next 4 years single and a virgin, but it looks depressingly likely.", "summary": "My friends set up all my (very short) past relationships. I don't know how to ask women out. I overanalyze everything and spend too much time thinking, not enough time doing. Help?"} {"id": "t3_2enmy0", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "I (F/22) need some help motivating my (M/27) boyfriend to drop some weight.", "post": "We have been together over a year. He's probably 50lbs or so overweight, and it's all belly. I run 5ks, I'm training for my first Triathlon next month so I am always doing something to help us try and motivate each other. For the past 6 months we have eaten quite healthy- low carbs, whole grains, quinoa or brown rice, lots of vegetables, mostly lean ground chicken or turkey and lots of salad, beans, ect. \n\nWe never order takeout, eat fast food, can't tell you the last time we had pizza, fried food, no pasta dishes or heavy sauces on anything. It's hard to notice if all these things we are doing have had any effect on him, he hasn't said much about his clothes fitting better, ect. \n\nHe has two full time jobs A) Full Time Firefighter working 48 hours then off 96 B) He owns and maintains a landscaping business that has 50 accounts, working 10-12 hour days to get it all done on his 4 days off. \n\nNeedless to say, I understand when he gets home he's tapped out exhausted and sometimes going for a walk/bike ride is the last thing he wants but where is this extra weight come from? Maybe he's binge eating at the firehouse? Or eating crappy food on his lawn breaks? I carefully told him that only he can make a change, I will support him and help as he wants me to but at the end of the day if he doesn't have the drive; I cannot force it and do it for him.\n\n It also concerns me, as we are quite a serious relationship that if we ever had kids they would think it is OK to be over weight, if that makes sense. Any advice?", "summary": "Boyfriend is sort of trying to lose it, however he is so exhausted from working it gets put down on his priorities."} {"id": "t3_wscge", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "How do you what someone's true self is?", "post": "My boyfriend and I are in our 20's and have been together for 2.5 years for a rollarcostery relationship. We were friends for 4 years before we started dating. \n\nI am very shy and insecure and I let a lot of things slide that I shouldn't have. I ignored a lot of red flags and I changed myself for him. The \"line\" that should never be crossed has been crossed for awhile now.\n\nI am having trouble now because I don't know who my boyfriend is anymore. There is the friend he was; the person I think he is; the person he is when he is angry; the person he is when he is loving, etc. When we fight and make up - he is a different person, he makes promises and I think everything will be better, but it never is. He expects me to forget all the mean and hurtful things he says when he is angry, all the controlling things he does, etc.\n\nIs it really acceptable for him to say, \"I'm sorry, I was angry.\"? Can that really nullify everything that happened?", "summary": "My boyfriend says very mean things when we fight and attempts to take it back by saying he was \"angry\". I don't know if he is being genuine or walking all over me."} {"id": "t3_1yggis", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my date[20 F] of 1.5 months, she has feelings for me and her ex", "post": "So I've been dating this girl for a month (casually) and it's been great. We are both friends with our exes, both of us broke up with them not the other way around. Anyways yesterday I started talking to her about her ex and her reluctance to go exclusive right away (she doesn't want to be insensitive to him). Long story short, during the conversation I got this text from her:\n\nHer:\n\n\"I'm so sorry if you feel like you are the side line guy or something. I hate that you felt that way. You should never feel that way and I feel terrible sorry. I'm going to be honest and say that I like both you guys, but you're not my backup in anyway. I really like you, that is why I've been so confused about thus. If I hadnt met you I prob would have gone back to my ex by now, but I seriously think your awesome and you make me not want to\".\n\nSo it was kind of a punch to the stomach, but I like this girl and we have been spending alot of time together. How can I handle this? I do want to be with her but I feel this is a very touchy subject.", "summary": "Girl i've been dating still has feelings about the ex she broke up with, but is dating me now and isn't sure what to do."} {"id": "t3_v3qpf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is the most surprisingly pleasant experience with customer service that you've ever had?", "post": "So I ordered a hat from zazzle.com. For those who aren't familiar, zazzle will print custom designs onto hats, shirts, etc. Anyways, I ordered the hat in the white style. But, the hat that arrived at my house was red. I followed zazzle's instructions for requesting an exchange. To be honest, I didn't even think I would be able to get an exchange because the receipt said I ordered a red one... yeah I might have accidentally ordered a red one. But I requested the exchange for the white hat, and zazzle customer service responded the next day. They were extremely apologetic and said that no exchange was necessary. They said I was free to do with the red hat as I wished. Keep it, sell it, discard it, whatever. And they would send me the white hat I wanted at no extra cost. This, friends, gave me faith in humanity.", "summary": "received wrong product, zazzle sent me the one I wanted and let me keep the one I didn't want."} {"id": "t3_lfriz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Just got busted on campus, anyone know much about California law?", "post": "So it goes like this: I go to a private university in California, and the other night I was on a balcony outside our dorm smoking with a friend. I was using a water bottle with a removable bowl piece. Our RAs come up the stairs and walk out and ask what we're doing, claiming they can smell weed. I gave them the bottle and hid the bowl piece under my leg and gave them my napkin which had a bit of weed in it still. I told them I was smoking a bunch earlier out of the water bottle off campus, they called campus police, so I tossed my bowl piece off the balcony before they got there but the RA heard it hit the ground and asked what that was and I said I didn't know. \n\nSo campus police show up, ask me to empty pockets, nothing in there besides a lighter, he walks down outside and finds the bowl piece, then they start searching my room. I had a locked drawer which they cut with a bolt cutter after I told them there was alcohol in the room I knew about so my roommate wouldn't get in trouble. They also found some already vaped bud but no regular weed. They also took my scale which I had in a separate, unlocked drawer.\n\nMy questions are: \n\n1. Did they do anything illegal to get evidence so some of it has to be thrown out?\n\n2. What constitutes intent to sell? I had a scale which did have some residue on it I believe, but they found no bud besides already vaped stuff, which you can't sell.\n\n3. Is there anyway they can prove I was smoking on the balcony, or even that the bowl piece is mine and I had just thrown it off?", "summary": "got busted on campus, admitted to having alcohol, not to smoking, not really sure what they can and can't prove; check out the 3 questions at the end."} {"id": "t3_2oblad", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is there any hope of me [24m] reconciling with my [23f] Girlfriend of 7 years?", "post": "My girlfriend left me in march, just after my birthday. There were issues we needed to work on in ourselves, we'd had seven years of long-distance, and she was under much stress due to her home situation and going into her final year of university. At the same time, due to stress on my end, we had been suffering some mutual inattention and she had come to believe that I did not love her anymore and viewed her just as a sunk cost.\n\nAt the time it was left open that we might get back together in the future, once we had both had time to \"grow as people\" as she said, and she has sporadically initiated contact with me and re-iterated that on several occasions. It's been very open-ended, and this is hard to deal with.\n\nOn my part, for eight months I've been writing her letters and emails to let her know that I'm still her and thinking of her, that I love her too much to possibly give up hope. I thought that if I gave her time and space to find herself, but showed her how much I cared, that things would fix themselves in time.\n\nAt the end of September I was beginning to become afraid for that ever happening, and I asked her if my absence from her life was directly making her happier, to which she responded that not having me there was emphatically not making her happier, but that she \"couldn't rely on me as a crutch\" and was \"unsure of how much positive contact we could have without sliding back\". Since then she's held me at arms length and only responded once to an email.\n\nAm I being a fool, trying to pursue this? I love this girl more than anything in the world, I had intended to propose to her this month and marry her next year when she was done with university. I've asked her to just delete me off her accounts such as facebook if she doesn't want me around, as it pains me to see her online but never responding to me, but she hasn't done so. The way she's continued to phrase things when she does contact me leaves it very ambiguous as to where we stand.", "summary": "Girlfriend left me, won't talk to me but won't cut off contact and has left it ambiguous if we can reconcile. Love her far too much to give up, I don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_1ssy2y", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "When is a long kept hidden \"truth\" not worth bringing up with your spouse?", "post": "(33 M, 32f, married 5 years)\nI'll Keep this short.\n\nYears (YEARS) ago, in college, I was suspended for one semester, because of cheating. I was young, stupid, and STUPID. Happened once, and I reformed my ways.\n\nOK now fast forward. Been married for about 5 years. We both respect each other immensely. I've never lied about my past to my wife, but I've never bothered telling her about my past transgression.\n\nAnyway, lately, for some unknown reason, I've been thinking more and more to those years ago. I feel like I need to get this past history of mine OFF my chest to my wife. But I also know that it might be putting her through stress with no real reason (after all, whats the point of telling her? so I can feel better, at her expense?)", "summary": "should I bother telling my wife about a huge character flaw, many years ago (and subsequently rectified), when it has almost no relevance to our current lives?"} {"id": "t3_1unlm7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [25M] with my Wife [27F] of 4 years, accidentally stumbled upon her Reddit account and issues about her sexual history have come up....", "post": "We've been married for 4 years and together for 7. We have a 3 year old.\n\nOur sex life is pretty bad. We have sex 3 or 4 times a week and I get maybe 3 or 4 bjs a week. I'd like to double the first number and triple the second, but it wasn't like I was going to be mad at her for not wanting more. Equally important, our sex life is pretty bland. Maybe occasionally roleplaying or anal if she's drunk, but it's really vanilla. I've brought up doing bdsm and stuff and she's refused - I left it at that because I didn't want to push her into doing something she's uncomfortable with.\n\nBut then I found her Reddit account, and she's posted about how she's done those exact same things she refuses to do with me with random fucking guys before we were together, and how she would blow one of her exes as often as possible....\n\nNot going to lie, I'm really really angry. Apparently it's not about her not being comfortable with doing something, it's about her not wanting to do it with me. I was kind of a late bloomer and this is my only relationship ever, but she's had previous relationships. It's really hurtful she's taking these experiences away from me just because she got hers.\n\nWhat can I do about it?", "summary": "I found my wife's reddit account, which lead to some information about her sexual history I didn't know. It's really hurtful. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_2dkrrh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [27M] have moments where I am a complete dick and otherwise terrible person to my GF [22F]. I need advice.", "post": "I'll keep this as condensed as I can.\n\nI've been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half. For the most part, things are great. We're supportive of each other, healthy sex life, she's one of my best friends and I share everything with her.\n\nI graduated in May and have been unable to get out of my current job. I've been working retail the past 8 years to put myself through school. Anyway, this job and not moving on in life gets to me. There are times where I treat my girlfriend like complete trash, say nasty and hurtful things that push her away. Then wake up the next morning sick to my stomach with regret and am completely ashamed of what I said out of anger. I tend to be laid back and patient but lately I've been lashing out.\n\nThis has happened about 3 times now including last night. I don't know exactly what the cause is other than overwhelming feelings of frustration at times. And the one person I love most gets the brunt of it. \n\nShe perhaps isn't as supportive as I might want, not for lack of empathy but she's busy with school and work. That's all understandable (now, in my level-headedness). But that adds to my frustration. The hardest part is the vast majority of our relationship is spent texting (can't live together because of family).\n\nFor the record, I've never touched her in these moments, in fact this stuff only happens through texting (we live about 40 minutes apart). In person, \n\nI love her dearly, but this NEEDS to stop. She doesn't deserve these outbursts and in all honesty I'm surprised she hasn't left yet. I need help, advice, anything you guys have. Maybe past experiences to draw from. Maybe other subreddits that I can check out. If I forgot anything or you need more details, I'll check it out when I get to work.", "summary": "Been lashing out at my girlfriend, how can I control frustration and not take it out on the one I am supposed to love and cherish?"} {"id": "t3_fi00d", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Creepy or Romantic?", "post": "I feel like a little bit of back story is required to properly gauge this on the creepy-romantic scale. I met this girl at work and we started talking and went on a (confirmed) date. Fast forward a week, she tells me she is not ready to get into a relationship yet because she still isn't over her last boyfriend. After some talking she says that she would definitely date me when/if she gets over him. Also through the course of us talking I have found out that she has NEVER received anything for Valentine's day. A few other possible factors are that she sent me a link to [this] and said they were the prettiest flowers she has ever seen, and also her mom asked her if I was getting her anything for Valentine's day to which she replied, \"I don't know.\" Finally to the main question: would it be creepy or romantic of me to get her address without her knowledge in order to send her the flowers for Valentine's day? Am I wrong for holding out hope that she will get over this other guy? If you think it would be a good idea to send the flowers should I spring for the premium? [Don't let me end up like this guy!](", "summary": "Girl (possibly) likes me is it weird to get her address unbeknownst to her and send her flowers on Valentine's day?"} {"id": "t3_3ktsw6", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My Ex [19] hates me over something I [20] didn't do", "post": "My Ex (call her Ally) and I hook up on occasion. We are friends who joke around & ask each other for advice but we also sometimes also hook up. We work together at a restaurant that has a small chain in the city. \n\nI have a friend (call him Sal) who works at a nearby restaurant that is the same chain, so we see each other whenever one of our restaurants need something. \n\nThere is a cook (call him Jose) who works at both of the restaurants, in the day with Sal, and nights with Ally. \n\nOne thing about Jose, he is an compulsive liar. He lies about everything. He lies about his family, other people, his position in life, everything & anything. \n\nSo Ally texted me yesterday night, saying that we shouldn't hook up anymore, I agree and say it's cool. Then she takes it a step further & asks to delete our phone numbers & not to talk to each other anymore. \n\nI'm confused. I consider her a good friend so I ask what's wrong. \n\n\"Just keep my name out of your mouth & tell Sal & Jose the same\" \n\nI'm confused. I never talk about my relationships with anybody & I certainly never talked to Sal about it. So it must have been Jose who said something (I never even talk to him). \n\nI ask for the story & she tells me to fuck off, that when we work together don't say shit to her & to never call or text her again. She said that I probably told Sal everything about our relationship, how we hook up & everything(I never did), and how Sal & Jose talk to each other about everything. \nI apologized , saying that whatever Jose said is bullshit & that I wanted to talk about it. She said no. \n\nAt this point I'm scared. I've never ever tried to hurt her & now she hates me. She is honestly one of the nicest and smartest people I've met & she wants nothing to do with me. \n\nWhere do I go from here? How am I supposed to make her talk to me when she doesn't want to? I'm scared of losing a good friend who's a good person.", "summary": "Ex thinks I blabbed about our hooking up to everyone, I didn't. Now she won't speak to me & I want to save our friendship."} {"id": "t3_34yqqt", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[17/f] I caught my brother [16/m] in my room wearing my clothes, he confesses to me that he has always been gay and wants to be a girl, how can I support him further?", "post": "About 2 weeks ago, I came home one day from school earlier than usual because my teacher let us go early, and when I got home, I heard moaning noises in my bedroom.\nRight there and then I thought things aren't gonna be good, I found my brother masturbating while wearing my panties, clothes and heels. Immediately shit turns awkward and at first I was creeped out like no tomorrow. But we sat down and he begged me to hear him out. He basically came out saying he is gay or bi but he doesn't know? His exact words were \"I want to become a pretty girl like you sis\". I kind of understood that my brother has been hiding all this and him finally coming out made me a bit happy and I want to support him 100%. Obviously he didn't tell anyone else, and our parents are honestly the biggest obstacle because they are the strict Asian types (we are 2nd generation Viet). So my brother has never told anyone until now. I want to help him and support him, so I promised him that I'll lend him some of my clothes and undies and even help him buy feminine stuff for him. I don't really know what else I could do for him considering our parents will likely kick him out of the house if they found out about his sexual orientation. I want to be the best big sister and be there for him, ever since he came out (about 2 weeks ago) we started hanging out more and connecting on a more personal level. At night when our parents are asleep he would just sneak over and we would have \"girl talk\" and play dress up, I know it might sound weird but it makes him happy and I am happy for him too, knowing that the only time he can be himself is with me. How can I help him further, I know its hard for him to hide it and he just seems to enjoy life so much more whenever hes in my room being himself?", "summary": "Caught brother wearing my clothes, turns out he is gay and has always wanted to be a girl. I support him 100% but our parents are super strict Asian parents. What else can I do for him?"} {"id": "t3_1y3x3n", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17M] feel as though there is no place for me.", "post": "I just want to preface what is going to be a long post with some background information about myself.\n\nI am a 17 year old male, and I have a serious wealth of mental problems.\n\nI suffer from Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and Compulsive behaviors; we are already off to a great start!\n\nAside from being unbelievably retarded in social situations, you could say that my physical attractiveness is average at best. I am like 5'10\" and I weigh about 230 lbs. So I am not really the most beautiful person out there.\n\nI think my only strong point as a person is that I am a very caring person and an excellent listener. Although this may also be a negative because I appear unbelievably clingy (I think) to others.\n\nMy compulsive behavior is repulsive; I constantly try to pluck hairs from my neck and pick my nose and eat my own god damned snot. I am like a little fucking kid and I am almost legally considered an adult.\n\nSo now that you can kinda get an idea of who I am, I will move on to what I am asking for advice about.\n\nI seriously feel like I will never, ever be in a meaningful relationship, and I truly feel like I don't deserve to be in such a relationship. All of my past experiences with women have been terrible to the point where I pretty much have given up on pursuing a relationship.\n\nI've asked dozens of girls on dates before, only to be rejected, provided the standard excuses which don't register as a definitive no in my autistic head.\n\nI tend to only have feelings for my friends, because I know them and they actually talk to me, but friends are just that: friends.\n\nI automatically assume that I will be rejected now, so I really don't bother trying because I like to preserve the friendships I have, considering how hard I have worked to establish them.\n\nI am overall just a loser and have come to the conclusion that nobody wants me, nobody will ever want me, and I should stop trying.", "summary": "fat, below average looking social retard who picks nose and plucks neck hair hates himself and knows that an actual relationship is out of the question."} {"id": "t3_2hlooy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [23 M] am best friends with a couple [23 M--24 F]. They split up, and now me and his ex have strong feelings for one another.", "post": "Practically 5 years ago my best friend (of 13 years) got together with this girl. \n\nIn 5 years of relationship me and her have gotten quite close and definitely can open up to each other more than to any other person. Now they split up as he had been cheating on her. Me and her were attracted to each other and for about 4 days fooled about a bit a week after the break-up. \nI have never been with someone I can act this natural around in an intimate setting and she agrees. We could speak about anything and were completely open about our feelings.\n\n I tried to speak to my friend about the situation and he says he still has feeling for her and I must choose between him and her. I chose him and now she says she won't be able to be part of the same circle of friends anymore as she can't bring herself to be chummy with her ex of 5 years whom she left as he had been cheating on her and cant be in constant contact with the guy she loves . Apparently she had been dreaming about me for 5 months before the breakup.\n\nNow, my dilemma is, do I side with my male friend (who tends to be quite a selfish person) or try to start a relationship with the girl as I wouldn't be able to stand having her out of my life?", "summary": "My best friends were a couple. They split up and now me and her have strong feelings for one another. What should I do?"} {"id": "t3_2th30f", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by swearing at a customer over the phone.", "post": "Background information: I work in a call centre. A debt recovery company. The department I work in is television licensing. Yes. Our country, UK, has to pay \u00a3145.50 annually to watch TV. People who have missed their payments gets their account passed over to us and we hunt them down for what they owe. \n\nSo I received an inbound call (Call coming in just in case) and our system doesn't tell is who's exactly ringing is so we open the call like this: \"Hello you're through to 'insert name' at 'insert company.' Can I please take your file reference number please?' The file reference is found on s letter we sent them. But not this one. \nThis call had some guy go ape shit crazy. As soon as I had finished talking he shouted \"I WANT YOUR COMPANY TO STOP FUCKING CALLING ME. I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR MY LICENSE. NOW PISS OFF\"\nObviously it's within my company policy to not give shit to the customer so I politely said \"Sorry to hear about that. Could I just take your number down so I could bring your account on my screen?\" And then for two minutes he kept saying to remove his number from our company, he doesn't want to pay, were harassing him etc. and every time I'm advising him that I can't bring up his account unless he tells me his number. Then he shouts at me \"JUST REMOVE MY FUCKING NUMBER FROM YOUR COMPANY YOU FUCKING PAKISTANI C**T.\"\nThis is where I lost my shit and shouted at him down the phone \"I can't remove your number from our system unless you give me your fucking number for fuck sakes. How many times do I have to fucking tell you!?\"\nThis was within ear shot of 5 people which included my team manager who all looked at me in shock and my manager ended up pulling me aside after I hung up and I had a verbal warning. The only reason why I didn't get fired was because I'm fairly new so it's my first experience.", "summary": "Customer went ape shit at me. I went into ape shit at him. Got in shit with my manager and company."} {"id": "t3_4cp0s7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [33 M] with my GF [28F] of five years, wants me to buy her a condo", "post": "Hi everyone, There is more to the title. My girlfriend (28) and I (33) have been together for five years now with some ups and down. This coming fall my girlfriend will be going to medical school in a different state (Nevada) from where we live. I just graduated from school and got a job that pays $50K a year and I practically have nothing in my bank account. My girlfriend wants me to buy her a condo so that she can live in it and rent out the other rooms to cover the mortgage. The house is a 2br and 1 bath and it costs $120K. I dont know what to do. Should I buy it for her or what? I feel like a tool if I do it.", "summary": "Girlfriend wants me to buy her a condo, but not sure if it is right since I do not have any savings."} {"id": "t3_1ujfsh", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "We have a big bad leak in our kitchen, and have run out of ideas. Are there any experienced home owners or contractors who can help us out?", "post": "Here's a photo, although I'm not sure how well you can see. \n\nWe bought this house this past summer, and one of the big selling points was the gorgeous kitchen with skylights. We made sure an inspector walked through, to let us know of any possible damage or previous leaks. He mentioned nothing. \n\nWe've had a really weird winter so far, and with the ice and snow build up on the skylights, we've come into some big problems. Whenever the snow and ice starts melting on the skylights it pours through our kitchen. We can't catch it in a bucket, because it's streaming down the wall. \n\nI'd say we're getting a litre a minute right now. With newly refinished hardwood floors, I'm scared we are ruining them by the second. \n\nIf there's a subreddit for this type of thing, I would love to hear! I looked around, but couldn't see anything. \n\nHiring a contractor is out of the question. I'm on maternity leave making enough to survive and my Fianc\u00e9 is unemployed. Not to mention, there doesn't seem to be anything we could do if we wanted with this weather.We tried putting tarp up outside, and we also knocked down as much ice as we could. \n\nAnyone? We're desperate.", "summary": "just moved into a house and winter weather has caused major leakage (that we can't catch in a bucket). Out of ideas. Need help."} {"id": "t3_3kj50e", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [33/f] with my [36/m] together 2 years. Question about finances.", "post": "I have a great boyfriend in a lot of ways. However, currently I earn six figures and own my own house and he is living with me. At times he's offered to pay for the electricity bill which is really nothing. Maybe not relevant, I also have children that I provide for and am their sole parent. Anyway, he doesn't earn much so it's never bugged me and I've never asked him to contribute. I should mention he does by household goods and groceries frequently.\n\nWell, the other night he mentioned he wanted to buy something that costs approx $1,000 to replace a broken iPad. My thought is if he can afford to but something fun for that amount he should be contributing financially. Thoughts on this?", "summary": "bf lives free in my house but now wants to spend $1k on something fun. Should this be rubbing me the wrong way?"} {"id": "t3_2jkkxd", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [17 M] don't want my GF [18 F] of 1 year to hang out with her best friends anymore", "post": "Hey reddit.\n\nSo my girlfrirend, we'll call her F, has theese two friends whom she sees regurarly, we'll call theese E. They've been friends for about ~7-8 years now. Here's why I don't want her to see them anymore:\n\nEver since I and F got together, E has always igonored me everytim we socialize. Whenever they would call they would always start by saying \"Hey is F there?\", like no \"how you doing\" or \"hey what's up\", they always just ignored me and put me aside. Whenever we would hang out; they would always look at F when they greeted us and, not once, turn to me. Even when we celebrated christmas (we had celebrated it early so it could just be our social group of friends) they showed up 4 hours late because they realized they forgot to get me a present. Everytime they would talk the topic would be something that I, in no way, could participate in and if I could, they would stop talking as soon as I opened my mouth. This went on for about 8 months until one night when we we're out (there was a local festival in town) and I just had enough. F talked to them and explained the situation and told them I was upset. It took them 4 hours to actually apologize to me and when they did, you could clearly see that they didn't mean a single word coming out of their mouth. A couple of days later F talked to them again and told them that I didn't accept their apology and this time it took them 2 weeks o write me a message on faebook which was two sentences long and went something like this: \"Hey meginger I just wanted to apologize for everything. Hope you can forgive us\". I haven't had any contact with them for 4-5 months now but my girlfriends sees them all the time. She knows how I feel about them. I don't know what to do. Should I tell her how I feel? I mean, they have been friends for a really long time so I cn definetly see why she wouldn't want to just stop seeing them.\n\nThank you.", "summary": "Gf has childhood friends which I strongly dislike. Not sure how/if I should tell her that I don't want her to see them anymore."} {"id": "t3_1t6x3j", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [29 M] with my GF [28 F] 9 years living together. She wants kids & marriage and I'm not there yet.", "post": "We have been living together for about 8 years and have had a lot of issues between us. We went to couples counseling and individual therapy and things have seemed to have gotten better. Although I've never cheated on her, she has issues with trusting me and other women...even on TV. \n\nAlso I've has some traumatic experiences when I was young and it suffices to say that I don't feel my age. Because of that experience I will barely be finishing my undergrad next year and am looking to grad school after that. A week ago she started talking about kids and I told her the truth about how I feel. How I felt really young and that I am not at that stage in my life. \n\nAfter talking with my therapist, we both agreed that it wouldn't be fair to either of us if we remained in the relationship. One of us would end up feeling resentment. So I brought up the idea of breaking up, and I feel really shitty and scared. \n\nI want to clarify that I really love this girl. I understand what makes her act the way she does (the issues) and I don't want to abandon her. But the next 4-5 years of my life I have major goals I want to accomplish. At the same time I am really scared about the consequences of breaking up, and feel pretty crappy. \n\nI've made an appointment to see a couples counselor about the breakup and what we should do given that we're very dependent on each other emotionally and financially. Any advice you guys have are greatly appreciated.", "summary": "Gf of 9 years wants marriage and kids in the next three years and I don't so we're heading towards a breakup, and that scares me."} {"id": "t3_378sht", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[21/m] Don't know how to rid of cheating GF [21/f]", "post": "Hello everyone, I will try to keep this short and sweet. I have been friends with her since 7th grade. We started dating each other since we were both 16, Juniors in High School. Everything was good, our families got a long well as did we. We went to the same college and it was an adjustment but still good. The middle of last year, though, we both got very busy. She was working 40+ hours a week and going to school full time, so we had almost no time to see each other. I had felt like I had to keep everyday open and not commit to anything else just in case she had an opening. \n\nAround last summer I started to get severe clinical depression and am still suffering. We saw each other less and less but talked daily. When we did see each other she was constantly on her phone and enjoying that more than my presence. Eventually last November I found out that she had been seeing another coworker, and spending all her free time with him (which I thought she didn't have). \n\nSince then, It has constantly been back and forth. I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt but I truly don't want anything to do with her. We still are keeping in contact and I tried to keep it as just friends but she constantly wants more and is blaming me for everything wrong. Now I know what you will say, just get rid of her. And thats what I've been trying to do because I can't have a relationship with someone who does that. She constantly is trying to stay with me by saying she is the only one I have to talk to so who else would I go to. What is the best way to get rid of her although our families are still close?\n\nTHANK YOU!", "summary": "GF cheated, how do I safely get rid of her (considering she knows the outs and ins of me and my family)"} {"id": "t3_1alf6v", "subreddit": "pettyrevenge", "title": "Violate traffic etiquette? NOPE. Here, I'll help you take that exit you're trying to avoid.", "post": "As background, I live in Houston where traffic has its special rules. Leave early or leave late to avoid traffic, drive aggressively but not like a total dick, try to avoid trading paint every day, and let traffic gracefully merge to avoid causing disruptions that inevitably turn into traffic jams.\n\nThe exit to my work is from a major highway (US59). The exit has an exit-only lane, so the highway temporarily goes from five lanes to six, with the sixth being an exit-only lane (at the Chimney Rock exit, if anyone wants to know). That sixth lane, however, is fed from a tollway (and not a surface street) so it's generally pretty full. Generally speaking, the cars from the fifth lane and sixth lane want to switch places, as people from the highway want to take the exit and people from the tollway want to get on the highway. Thus, people make room to let the cars in the two lanes switch places, thus staggering themselves to make this process go faster.\n\nNot today.\n\nWhen I approached my exit the front of my car in the fifth lane was about halfway along a blue car in the sixth lane. I was signaling to get to the sixth lane and the blue car was signaling to get in the fifth lane. No problem! I slowed to allow the blue car to get over in front of me and I was about to move over into the sixth lane until Driver Douchebag, who had been behind the blue car in the sixth lane, sped up to get in front of me and ALSO move over to the fifth lane.\n\nNOOOOOPE and FUCK YOU!\n\nI pushed the four little cylinders of the Mirth Mobile as fast as they could move, positioned my car so that there was no chance that Driver Douchebag could get over, and smiled as the weak bleats from his horn washed pure satisfaction over me. \n\nYes, I missed my exit. But it was worth it to watch Driver Douchebag have to take the exit that he'd been wanting to avoid. I went a bit up the highway and still ended up being on-time.", "summary": "Wouldn't let an overzealous driver violate traffic etiquette, forced him to take an exit he was trying to avoid."} {"id": "t3_1ifj8s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me[24M] with my girlfriend [21F] break up because she couldn't handle her time to stay with me.", "post": "So we had been dating for nearly 3 years. We had a healthy relationship, we were each other first. The problem started in the last year when she was overwhelmed by her studies and couldn't share much time with me. We managed to handle those issues, but we shared less and less time.\n\nIn the last months she started working and also is currently in her last semester of University and things got worse. So yesterday we had a chat. We both decided we should end the relationship before things went worse. The next 6 months would be even harder for the pression on her time. I told her I could help her in that process but she insisted it wasn't fair for me to remain patient waiting for her while she couldn't dedicate all the time we needed.\n\nSo it is over. It was sad obviously, and some thoughts are on my mind:\n\n1. Since it wasn't a \"bad breakup\". We aren't mad at each other. Should I keep with my things and after 6 months look for her?\n2. It is time to forget each other and never come back?", "summary": "Broke up with my girlfriend because she had no time for us in the next following months. Should I wait for her, or live my life?"} {"id": "t3_4t30iz", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "Girl shows many signs of interest however when i asked her out she said no. Why? Please help. Is this a test?", "post": "Where do I even begin. I'm 21M. This girl just started working at the same place I do. Shes 2 years younger than me. She's my dream girl. She has been flirting with me since her second day. First week we were getting lunch with the other staff members. 2nd week she asks for us to get lunch but just the two of us. She asks me if i have a girlfriend to which i respond no. then she asks if I want to be datinng and i say yes. then she asks what my type is and i start listing some qualities some of which she has and she says \"so basically me\". She keeps saying during this how she hates her ex. I eventually ask why. and she says she just likes saying that phrase and that she and her ex are friends now. She gets in my personal space and is a little touchy. One time she ate food off my plate. She kept mentioning how she told all her close friends and her sister about me. For some reason she wanted to show me all her instagram pictures. \n\nOn her last day we went for a long walk to get lunch. She would ask me what my weekend plans are to which i told her and asked her plans. she told me that she didnt have plans on X day so i asked her on a date and got rejected. There were a lot of other clear signs too. \n\nI'm not sure why I was rejected could someone explain? She claims there's a guy she has kinda a thing with. but that doesn't add up to me. Is this some sort of test girls do? Was I just played? She seemed really sweet and innocent and he perfect girl. Not sure what went wrong.", "summary": "Girl shows many signs of interest, but when I asked her out, she said no. And im not sure why?"} {"id": "t3_bz7lv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My friend was robbed last night. They caught the thief, however he needs some advice since some of his property was damaged.", "post": "My friend lives one floor above me in the same building and last night when he was over at someone else's place him and his three roommates were robbed. Apparently his roommates had left the door unlocked and the thief came in during the middle of the night and stole their personal belongings including wallets and laptops. His roommates had filed a report with our campus police and they found the culprit red handed with their and a few other people's belongings. However, much of the stolen goods were damaged when the thief had went out into the rain with them. So my friend is out about $2,000 from the damage to his laptop and the thief claims that he \"found\" the belongings. Apparently the case was handed over to the municipal police department, and the officer said that with out a witness to the crime that he would not be compensated or repaid for the damage to his belongings and is in need of advice. \n\nI asked him if he wanted me to post his situation on reddit and he wrote up this short blurb:\n\n*\"Around 4am, my roommate woke up to drink some water. He found the room in total disarray, and preceded into waking up the other roommate. After much discussion, and seeing the contents of his wallet on the ground and personal belongings (computers, wallets, etc) missing, a complaint was filed with the Residence Life and Campus Safety. Approximately 20-30 minutes later, there was a similar report from campus safety regarding a student who couldn't get into his dorm. In his possession were 5 laptops, various wallets, personal belongings. The kid was taken in and arrested, and interrogated but would not confess of any theft or burglary. The owners of the various merchandises that were stolen received their belongings back through campus safety. Much of the stolen goods were permanently damaged and broken because of the rain. After speaking with CPD and campus safety, not much could be done and a trial date for a misdemeanor in larceny have been fixed. According to the CPD officer, there would be no compensation for any of the broken belongings. The student is much likely to be expelled.\"", "summary": "My friend was robbed, his laptop was broken in the process and he will not be compensated for the damage unless there is a confession or witness to the crime. As a result he in in need of advice for this situation. "} {"id": "t3_tcros", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Well. I found out she's cheating on me. I'm numb and need help.", "post": "We've been married 25 years with 4 kids. Our oldest daughter just got married, and we have a 12 year old and 16 year old at home. It was moving towards separation anyhow, but we were not to humiliate each other.\n\nI just found out there has been 5000 texts back and forth with a semi-friend who is a guy. There have been other clues as well.\n\nWe have a significant amount saved and I own a home business. We are in a no-fault state in the US.\n\nI no longer like her and have not for quite a while and do not want to spend my life with her. \n\nShe's still in the house, but about to move out.\n\nHow do I handle the humiliation with our friends and community? Like they always say, \"The husband is the last to know\". I think a lot of people may know and it is extraordinarily embarrassing to think what they are talking about.\n\nPlease let me know your thoughts.", "summary": "Wife of 25 years cheating emotionally, at minimum. I want out anyhow (after her actions), but kids come first."} {"id": "t3_1egb34", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[19/f] What does this guy [20/m] actually want from me?", "post": "So there's this guy on my course at university, and we had never really spoken before until January when he commented on one of my posts on Facebook. After that we really hit it off and became really good friends, speaking every single day etc. and hanging out with each other between lectures/seminars. \n\nThen after about a month of constant talking we started to take it to a further level, so like just the conversation started getting a bit more personal and we swapped photos. Nothing that could be classed at porn but photos I wouldn't want my mumma seeing. \n\nWe went on Easter break and somehow over the course of a month we went from being really good friends to... nothing? Which kind of upset me because by this point not only were we really good friends, but I was starting to like the guy. \n\nTHEN about two weeks ago (??) he randomly starts chatting to me again throughout the day and invites me round his that evening. I go round, take some beers, play xbox and watch a horror film (completely innocent at this point), until he's all like \"kiss me\" and I dunno, maybe I was tipsy but I did. \n\nWe then somehow from kissing gently on his sofa to me giving him head in the bedroom, and he tried to take it further but something clicked in my mind and I said no. So we just fell asleep in a cuddle, but the morning after I had an appointment at 10am so I sort of dashed outta his at around 9am... \n\nAfter that we didn't really speak for a while, until the other day where it's just like we're friends again, but sometimes he's really rude to me and basically said he likes me but nothing can happen because I'm not his type...\n\nEURGH, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT THE BOY WANTS FROM ME.", "summary": "Made friends with boy, things got heated with boy, boy backed away, spent the night with boy, started to like boy, boy apparently can't like me..."} {"id": "t3_2z3dl0", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] and my old friend[20 M] way back 4 years, burying the hatchet?", "post": "I had this friend who has been my roommate for four years. It's a long story but, there is a point in our friendship that I ignored him up to now. \n\nI got mad at him because when we live together he never pays the bills and never cleans the room. Now I know it is kind of immature for me to ignore him for this but, I was kind of young back then and very childish (I know \"I am young back then\" is cliche), and I also have this personality that I don't really say what I am feeling but rather keep it to myself.\n\nFast forward, friends of mine say \"hey, it's been four years why not you and him apologize with each other\". So I had this thought that maybe it is the time to stop this silly situation that I started.\n\nNow, I do not want to get selfish that I am doing this because I want to free myself from the past. Because recently, I have been trying to escape from my comfort zone because I want to improve myself as a person.\n\nWhat I wanted to tell him is that, I would like to say sorry/apologize for whatever I did to him back then, I know that he might not accept this but I just wanted to let this thing go between us. I just have this personality where I get a bit childish at some point and it cause us to break our friendship.", "summary": "Ignored my friend for four years, later has some thoughts of ending this childish nonsense. Should I or just move on from my life?"} {"id": "t3_54p880", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My (27F) boyfriend (33) of 1 year never compliments me.... ever.", "post": "I've been seeing my SO for about a year now and I'm absolutely over the moon for him. I don't know how I got so lucky. The only problem is, he never compliments me on anything, ever. Whether I'm dressed to the nines or completely naked, he never says anything one way or the other about my appearance. In the last 12 months I can scrounge up 3 distinct compliments (\"you're pretty cute\", \"you don't complain when we hike\", and \"you're cute\") and the first one was basically coerced out of him.\n\nI know that the usual answer to relationship problems is \"talk to them about it\", but in this situation I feel that that would be tantamount to *telling* him to compliment me, which defeats the whole point. I know he loves me, we spend a lot of time just cuddling up together, but this really makes me feel that somehow he's not actually physically attracted to me, and that really hurts. How can I bring this up without seeming like I'm fishing for compliments? I mean, I guess I am, but doesn't everyone want to feel attractive sometimes?", "summary": "my boyfriend gas never said so much as \"you look nice today\" and I don't know what do do about it."} {"id": "t3_48ownp", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Am I [20M] in a position to tell my [22F] crush's boyfriend she's cheating?", "post": "I can put more detail in if needed, but this girl and I have really hit it off well and she's definitely been spending more time with me than her boyfriend for the past 3 months. I want nothing more than to be in a relationship with her and not just be this person who is there for her emotional support as a side bitch.\n\nOne night we were laying in bed and she told me she wanted to have sex with me and I said I didn't want to until she make her decision to break up with her boyfriend. She told me she was 95% sure she was breaking up with him. She of course hasn't broken up with him and since then we have still been cheating. \n\nShe tells me that she knows she should break up with him but is scared of how he will react and says she doesn't really know how to do it. \n\nSo am I in a position to tell her boyfriend that she has been cheating? Even if it will ruin my chances with being in a relationship with her...", "summary": "I'm a side bitch used for emotional support and want to be in a relationship with this cheater. Do I tell her boyfriend even though it will never end up with her dating me."} {"id": "t3_54z1td", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [31F] with my old high school crush [33M]; he sent me a message confessing his love, but he's married.", "post": "I had the biggest crush on Matt all throughout high school. He was the popular guy and I never really felt like I had a chance with him. We knew of each other, but never really mingled. I just felt like I wasn't popular enough for him. I eventually graduated and moved out of state for college, in which I have been gone ever since. I'm currently dating around, but not committed. \n\n So, fast forward to now\u2026 He recently wrote me on Facebook randomly confessing that he had a big crush on me and that his crush on me has never stopped. He said that he always felt like he wasn't good enough for me (ha!) and so he never pursued it. He said he felt it was finally time to let me know. I found out that he had become a family friend, and those family members love him to death. I brought it up to them, and they told me that he has asked about me over the years and that it was obvious that he has been in love with me since high school. He is a great guy with a good reputation too.\n\nSo, here's the kicker...he's married. They've been together for over 10 years. She apparently cheated on him last year and moved out, but they got back together soon after. She also is about 8 years older than he is. He told me that they have grown apart and that he doesn't think it will last much longer. He feels that the cheating changed his heart. \n\nSo, we talked for a while. We fell for each other. I'm confused. I broke off communication recently after feeling guilty that I was falling for a married man. I can't help it though...normally I'd dismiss a married man flirting with me as a dog, but this feels different because of our history. I've done the right thing, right? I'd really like some advice on this, as I feel we would be perfect for one another, but i don't want to be the other woman.", "summary": "Old crush contacted me. He's married. Wants to leave his marriage and pursue things with me. I broke it off because he belongs to another woman, but my feelings from high school resurfaced and I've fallen for him."} {"id": "t3_32tv6q", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] with my bf [24M] of 2 months, he is not willing to compromise on his drug use - am I being unreasonable?", "post": "Hi - I want to start off by saying that I did not know about his drug use before we both committed to an exclusive relationship. If I had known, I would not have continued to date him. \n\nBackground: He likes to attend those summer music festivals where drugs are in abundance. The only way I found out about his drug use was by prodding him for information. He does MDMA and acid at those things. He was only open to me about things when I asked him outright - do you do that kind of stuff? \n\nNow, I don't judge. It's his life and he can certainly do what he wants, but I have preferences and it's a huge turn off to me. I also have had horrible past experiences with significant others and their drug use so it's something I try to avoid. I told him I would never want to control him, but if he continued to do it, I wouldn't be able to see our relationship as something long term. \n\nI told him how I felt and he took about 8 hours to digest and think about things. We spoke about it with a mature conversation but he told me since the relationship is so new, he is not willing to compromise. To me, that is a huge red flag. Regardless of the length of a relationship, relationships require compromise on both ends. It's not just \"I'm going to do what I want and not take you into account.\" His reaction makes me feel like he is not mature enough or ready for a relationship. It also made me feel like he isn't right for me because he would rather pick doing those types of drugs 3 times a year than be with me. He also equates those types of drugs to drinking alcohol...which I do not agree with.\n\nAm I being unreasonable? Do you think he is not ready for a relationship?", "summary": "Boyfriend is choosing to do MDMA and acid over having a long term relationship with me. Is his inability to compromise a red flag? Am I being ridiculous?"} {"id": "t3_3i4r23", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20M] fell in love with my friend [21F] 1 week ago", "post": "I am not sure what to expect, I just hope to get some advice whatever it'll be.\n\nAround 1 week ago I fell in love for the first time in my life, I have never experienced this feeling before. The girl I fell in love with is a good friend of mine who's taking the same classes, so I end up seeing her the whole day.\nWe used to hang out a lot, just playing videogames, talking or watching movies together.\n\nNow I have 2 problems:\n\n1. She has a boyfriend and from a conversation 2 months ago I know there is no way she'd feel the same for me.\nSo I already know nothing could ever happen and this leaves me with fear. I fear our friendship will never be the way it was, I fear losing her as a friend. I feel I have to talk to her about my feelings, but this would probably cause my fears come true.\n\nI don't know what to do. \nShould I just move on as if nothing happened?\nShould I tell her about my feelings?\nEvery option seems just wrong to me.\n\nSpending time with her alone feels also wrong now, like if I'm lying to her just playing a friend. It's difficult to explain, I am just so confused about everything now and write down the things coming to my mind.\n\n2. I have no idea how to handle those new feelings. the past days I cried like 30 hours or so and all rational thinking doesn't help. From one moment to another I can switch from \"everything is alright it's not a big deal\" to an emotional hole of sadness and crying until I fall asleep.\n\nI read through articles online about how to behave, many suggested to keep some distance, but that's not possible for me since I see her like 8-10 hours every day. We also share the same friends.\nI appreciate every piece of advice.\n\nMight add that I'm usually not a very emotional guy and this really is a whole new world to me.", "summary": "Fell in love for the first time with a friend who is in a relationship. I don't know what to do, think or feel anymore."} {"id": "t3_31rk97", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [27M] wife [25F] keeps coming with me on my business trips but won't do anything with me that involves my coworkers.", "post": "My company allows us to bring our spouse as long as we pay for their food and transportation. She has come with me on 5 of my trips over the past 2 years (I travel a lot). She only attends if I am going somewhere that she is interested in exploring. Well it has becoming frustrating because we only work normal hours until 5pm and after that my coworkers and bosses all get together to do something every night. \n\nThey always tell me to invite her but she always declines. Not once has she accepted an invitation and she has never formally met any of them because of it. I still go with them by myself and she doesn't care and just goes off and entertains herself somewhere. But I'm just starting to feel embarrassed. It feels like I have this mystery wife that comes with me on trips and hides the whole time or something. She doesn't purposely hide from anyone, she just kinda does her own thing and hasn't ended up in a situation where she has had to meet a coworker somehow. \n\nI've talked to her about this and she says that she just loves traveling and she only comes so she can have her own solo vacation with the bonus of having me still close by. She said that the idea of having dinner or going bowling with 50+ of my coworkers makes her feel out of place so she would rather not have to because it will make her very uncomfortable. \n\nHer not attending makes me uncomfortable. No one has said anything besides \"Where's the wife?\" but it just makes me feel like it is giving them the wrong impression. She said that next time she will go and do something with everyone if she has to but made it very clear that she is uncomfortable with it. \n\nI don't know what to do. If I don't make her go then I will be uncomfortable but making her go will make her uncomfortable. Also, not many people do bring their spouses. 3 out of the 5 times she was the only spouse that attended. \n\nShould I just let this one go? Is this just me over thinking it? Like I said, no one has actually said anything to me about it I just feel like they are thinking it is really strange.", "summary": "wife only wants to go solo on business trips and won't join my coworkers because it makes her uncomfortable. Her not joining makes me uncomfortable so what should we do?"} {"id": "t3_pdf8g", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "My coworker is making a small annoying sound, what should I do?", "post": "In my office there's a coworker (call him John if you'd like) who sits near me and makes a small sucking sound with his lips somehow (I've been unable to properly replicate it). He does this every 2-5 seconds for long periods of time, and sometimes not at all for a few minutes (he's constantly inconsistent but keeps doing it) and can make the noise over 50 times an hour. I know this because it's so distracting to me that I counted, and lost track after 20 minutes nonstop. It seems like a it's a tic or something.\n\nI have never talked to this person as I thought he was initially sitting at the desk of a person who has not been at the desk since I've joined the company, since all the time people will sometimes borrow laptop stations for a quick charge, or people's chairs for nearby meeting rooms if they're empty. He kept sitting there and by the third day he had his own nameplate at the cube, so by then I had heard the noise and realized he was here to stay.\n\nIn order to combat the noise I have brought in earbuds to pop in and listen to music and such while he's around, but sometimes he gets loud enough that I can still hear him, or I have to turn my music up too high for my comfort. I don't know what the other coworkers in my area think of him but he has become my nemesis; he even told a friend he moved to this desk to \"escape the noise\" of his last area \u0ca0_\u0ca0\n\nSo, Reddit, I ask you this; what could I do to solve this dilemma, as I feel it is too trivial to tell HR about yet too annoying to live with. Yes this is very firstworldproblem.jpg but to help me feel better, any **serious or non-serious responses** are welcome. Don't even tell me if you're being serious if you'd like, make it fun that way.", "summary": "Coworker is making a noise that's affecting my sanity and productivity, help me feel better with helpful/goofy/mean proposals for a solution."} {"id": "t3_dc4nu", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Are you supposed to feel a connection on the first date?", "post": "I'm a 24 year old guy and very new to the whole dating scene (I was very shy growing up). I've gone on my first couple of dates in the last few weeks.\n\nThe first one was with a childhood friend of mine whom I hadn't seen in about 10 years. She was really cute and seemed moderately intelligent but the conversation still dragged with occasional awkward silence. We made plans to go out again but she ended up ignoring my calls.\n\nThe second date was about a week ago . This was a girl I met online. Physically, the girl wasn't really my type. Not that she was completely unattractive, she just seemed to be in a different kind of \"scene\". We met up for the cliche cup of coffee and actually had a fairly pleasant conversation. The thing is, I didn't really feel much of a connection. I always thought that on a first date, you were supposed to feel some sort of chemistry or does that usually come on later dates? Is it enough to moderately enjoy each other's company or should there be more to it on a first date?", "summary": "I went on my first couple of dates and didn't feel much of a connection with either of them but still had a decent conversation. Is this enough for a second date or is there supposed to be some sort of chemistry?"} {"id": "t3_4qjaj4", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [39 M] have been married to my wife [39 F] 18 years, had an affair, prone to crushes", "post": "I love my wife, we have two kids who I love dearly. But its very hard for us to communicate well, we have very different ways of thinking about most things. However, we do agree on most basic values and how to raise our kids, which is great.\n\nBut due to our communication differences, we dont talk deeply. Now I am a guy who just reaaally wants a connection in that sense. I also tend to bond easily with women. And I get fairly serious crushes every 6 months or so. They do not (usually) end up as affairs, but I end up putting a looot of my thoughts and attention on the woman who is my crush at the time. \n\nBut last year, this happened with a woman who worked near me who happened to be breaking up with her husband. It turned into a real affair, and I almost left/lost my marriage. (But I called it off, admitted everything to my wife, made amends with my wife, and completely stopped seeing the woman, who remains angry at me for leaving her).\n\nI no longer see that woman, but the crushes continue, though in my current situation I do not give myself the opportunity to be alone with them. I am not proud of the affair at all, I have changed my life around since then (quit drinking, work at home, etc) but the feelings continue. I crush like a teenager though Im about 40 :/ \n\nAnd lately I have started thinking about the woman from last year, and really wanting to message her, see her, etc. I know it is not a good idea, but I am amazed at how strong these feelings are. \n\nIs something wrong with me? Is this normal? Am I hopelessly unsuited for marriage? Why would I crush so much? Do other married people experience this?", "summary": "My crushes (and past affair) are taking a lot of energy and hurting my marriage, Im not sure what to do with myself."} {"id": "t3_53m5zi", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "The girl [20F] I've [20M] been seeing just got out of another relationship, is this too soon?", "post": "Last year I took a class with Sam. We had a mutual friend in the class so we were acquainted and sat near each other, and while I thought she was cute, my friend told me she had a boyfriend so that was that.\n\nI hadn't dated in a while after a pretty arduous breakup last year, so I decided to get back into it this summer through Tinder. I matched with Sam, and we started chatting. When we met up for a date, she told me she was still with her boyfriend but he was away for work for 8 months and they had been doing an open relationship since he had left 4 months before. After that we didn't meet up for a few weeks, and then I saw her at school when classes started again (we're in the same program). We ended up getting lunch one day and studying another, and then this weekend I asked her to come to my house to make dinner and watch a movie. It was the most comfortable date I've had since my ex girlfriend. \n\nShe ended up telling me that she and her boyfriend had been growing apart for a couple months prior due to distance and lack of communication, and that she ended it with him a week ago. She told me she's felt like the breakup needed to happen for at least 6 weeks, but she only mustered up the courage more recently.\n\nShe didn't say anything about what she's looking for or expecting from our relationship, but I really feel something with her. She's genuine, and obviously attractive, and I get a feeling that it's not one sided and that she's interested in a relationship with me but I'm scared it hasn't been enough time or that I'm just a rebound.\n\nI want a real relationship with her, but should I assume this is casual? I don't want to rush her and start pressing her for details about our situation, especially since we've only been talking for about a month.", "summary": "New girl I've been seeing broke up with her long distance ex boyfriend a week ago. I want a relationship but I don't want to assume that she's ready or even looking for that, what should I do?"} {"id": "t3_4kglp1", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 F] with my _boyfriend__ [20 M] 2 years, my dependency on him", "post": "I have an issue that I'm afraid to tell anyone about and admit to them but I have no idea how to help myself. I'm really big on trying to deal with it myself before looking elsewhere.\n\nI have been with my boyfriend for two years and we have lived together for the majority of the relationship (knew each other before hand for years). Our problem was financials and he wasn't working and I couldn't support him any longer so he was forced to go back to his previous living situation. At the same time I'm also going through a falling out with 3 of my close friends because of a stupid argument. (Their choice not mine). \n\nThe issue I have is that I am too dependent on my boyfriend. When he is not here I feel lost, anxious and depressed. When I see him and he leaves I cry every time and it feels like someone is ripping my heart out. \n\nHe doesn't have a job, so he pretty much just plays video games all day so when he doesn't answer my texts for 3 hours and doesn't get up until 1 in the afternoon I find myself super irritated and its usually just because he's not there for me. \n\nIt's not like I don't have a life. I work 3 jobs and I rarely have a day off. When I'm not working I'm usually doing some kind of errand or cleaning that needs to get done. Or school work. \n\nIf I don't see him once a week at least I get anxious and depressed and utterly lonely and I jump to conclusions about him not loving me anymore because of our entire situation. I know he's really trying to help me and make this thing work between us but I can't stop these feelings and they are getting in the way of my life. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him because of it. I love him but I just can't deal with it. I basically rely on him and no amount of activity that I do changes that.\n\nAnyone have any advice? It would be really great to hear from someone.", "summary": "I'm too dependent on my boyfriend despite being super busy and involved in life and I need advice on how to get past this."} {"id": "t3_1q2xmu", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by calling the cops at work", "post": "I work at this Deli Shop and its my second week working. So, There I was, slicing all kinds of meat using the slicer. I was already doing some minor fuck ups through out the day but the major one was when I was slicing. The security alarm control is right next to the slicer up against the wall and on there is a button to call the cops. Well, to clean the slicer, I have to move it and its right next to the alarm. I must have bumped the button while I was cleaning it or working the slicer because 2 cops showed up all pissed off that it was a false alarm and now the store could be fined. OutFuckingStanding.", "summary": "I fucked up by accidentally pressing the silent alarm to call the cops while working the slicer and now the store could be fined for a false alarm."} {"id": "t3_1qpky3", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "(MO) My ex-roommate owes me over 2 months in back rent. I'm getting worried he won't pay up.", "post": "I rented a room in my house to a friend through an oral agreement back in August. He ended up meeting a girl and living with her in that room without notifying me. Now we are almost at the end of the year and all his empty promises to pay me my money have been an echo of what I think will happen with these last two months he owes me. He moved out on Wednesday on his own accord. I did say I was going to evict him for the 2 months of rent he owed me a couple of weeks before which sped up the process of the move out. We agreed to have a promissory drawn and signed by a notary for the money he owes me. I didn't have the Promissory Note ready when he moved out but I do have some text messages where he agrees to meet me today, Friday, to sign the note. Now he states he won't be able to meet me until Monday. I've tried time and time again to get this note sign and have evidence of non-compliance. If he refuses to sign my note what steps can be taken so that I can come close to getting my money or at least making sure he doesn't do this to someone else.", "summary": "Roommate started renting in July 2013, broke oral agreement to pay rent each month. Owes me two months rent, having trouble getting a promissory note signed. "} {"id": "t3_48vdrl", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [17F] with my boyfriend [19M] of 7 months. Nervous to meet family", "post": "Hello all,\n\nI need some advice, please! My boyfriend and I met at college, and we are very happy together. We are both on the same page of wanting a long term relationship, and we really are best friends. It's my first serious relationship and I'm extremely content with how things are going.\n\nThis week is our spring break, and I am going to go see him in a different state in about a week or so. I am nervous because this is the first time I will have to meet his family in such intensity. Sleeping in his house, and the possibility of having to go to a birthday party for his uncle is nerve-wracking to me. I have already met his mother, and she seems to have taken a liking to me, and has told him that she does like me. However, his grandmother is very against relationships. He concluded that this is because we are away at school and they cannot \"moderate\" the relationship as they may have if this was a relationship in high school.\n\nI am quite different than my boyfriends' previous partners- this may be what is worrying me so much. I have short hair, I am probably different than what they are used to in general. However I don't believe this will be as problematic as I am imagining it in my head and I am probably just overthinking.\n\nMy question is how to calm my nerves about meeting his family, particularly his grandmother? I've never been in this position before- where the feeling she takes to me can last years possibly, and eventually cause tension. I like to think that I am a likeable person, who has interesting aspects of their personality and is not someone who is an \"acquired taste,\" although I may be different in appearance from his past partners, and am more outspoken in my personality. (I am a bit of an extrovert when I'm meeting new people, but am mostly introverted.)\n\nAny advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!", "summary": "Meeting boyfriends' family, mostly nervous about the opinion of the grandmother. Need advice about how to overcome my fear."} {"id": "t3_4fhllt", "subreddit": "legaladvice", "title": "Update: [GA] Hit by a driver who ran a red light. They are claiming they had the green. No witnesses. Am I screwed?", "post": "Original post: \n\nI know legaladvice loves updates so I wanted to provide one, though it's not very exciting. I appreciate everyone who took the time to comment on the original post to let me know what to expect from insurance and from court. Given the lack of evidence, the insurance companies decided that liability is split 50%/50%, meaning I'm out my deductible, but it won't affect my rates, as I'm not 51%+ at fault. \n\nI went to court yesterday concerning the citation I was issued after the collision. (As a reminder, both me and the other driver were cited, as we gave conflicting stories about who had the green with no witnesses.) I spoke to several lawyers before, and was advised that typically in this kind of case, the prosecutor will ask if we both want to exercise our 5th amendment rights, and if we both agree, they dismiss the ticket. That is exactly what happened and I was able to save money by not retaining a lawyer. \n\nI have also purchased a dash cam for my new car, so that I will be in a better place if this happens to me again. On the plus side, I really like my new car!", "summary": "Only screwed in that I had to spend my deductible. No impact to insurance rates - citation dismissed. Buy a dash cam!"} {"id": "t3_4vl1y3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [26 F] don't know how to explain to my boyfriend [29 M] that oral sex is kinda critical to me in a relationship [NSFW!]", "post": "-Edit- I keep myself neat, tidy and I'm a small size 6 (sometimes 4). I'm fit and I put effort into how I look as well as my hygiene. Attracting guys isn't an issue for me so I don't think that's an issue... -End edit-\n\nBeen dating for a few weeks, recently started sleeping together. Told him off the bat that oral is pretty much a deal breaker (I am female after all) however he has still not taken initiative the past few times we've slept together to go down south. I have told him I'm not in the mood to sleep with him, because honestly - who is when their partner doesn't want to engage in oral sex with you and you also have to ask for it each time... Even after explaining that for you it's something that you've never had to ask for and going forward it's something you really enjoy and want to make a part of your routine... Honestly!\n\nWhat do I do? Do I give up on him and find someone else? He has many other great qualities so I'm a bit undecided, but my sexual attraction to him is going on holidays indefinitely.", "summary": "My bf doesn't understand how important oral sex (foreplay) is to me and I don't know whether I should stick around/how to explain it to him in 'man speak'."} {"id": "t3_fp3ot", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need Advice: How do I start a charity?", "post": "A little back story for you: My friends and I had an argument about various events to raise money for charity. Ones that I took issue with were the ones that make a big spectacle about it, costs thousands to organize and run and raises money through pledges and donations. The one in particular that sparked the debate was an all night dance marathon that had all kinds of activities and games set up for the participants. My argument was that why do we have a need for such an event that costs money to have, why can't participants just raise money and be done with it? The point of view of my friends was that some people don't have money to donate, and in turn invest there time to show their support, like the all night dance marathon. I didn't agree with that, pointing out these people should spend the time they want to commit to the charity by working to raise money or help people, rather than going to a party and playing games with friends. I donate money to the causes that I am committed to, but do not spend much time working for these charities or my community, and was given criticism because these marathon dancers were investing their time. So I want to start something in my area where people who don't have money to donate can instead invest there time in better ways than marathon dances.", "summary": "on that part: argument with friends gave me the idea to find better ways people can invest time to a charity rather than marathon dance sessions."} {"id": "t3_sbiyu", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "Want to win a past flame back, does the \"epic declaration of love\" speech work in real life?", "post": "Set up: I'm sick in love with a girl I dated a few years ago. We never really broke up, I graduated and moved, she began traveling for a few months. It just sort of stopped, with no hard feelings. Now we're in the same city, both unattached, and see each other often, in social settings.\n\nThe problem is, I can never seem to get her alone anymore, and don't really feel any interest from her at all. She's always been hard to read, and we never really spoke about how we ended, so my thought is I just need to lay my feelings bare in an \"epic declaration of love speech\" in one of the few times I can talk one-on-one. But, you know, fear of rejection, fear of ruining one of the few moments we have together, etc. Any stories of these working in real life?\n\nI basically want to say exactly what [Louis CK says to Pamela](", "summary": "> in love with ex and think I could have a shot. Is the big \"I love you\" speech corny or convincing?"} {"id": "t3_3zu2iq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [21F] am insecure and cannot take compliments, would like some advice on how to regain confidence and self-esteem.", "post": "I have been hanging out with someone for a year. We are the same age, and we both think it is too early in our life to be in a committed relationship, we never know what opportunities might come up and don't want relationship to be a constraint, so we agreed to remain our single status (i.e. appear like we are just acquaintances among friends). He introduced me to his family soon after we started hanging out. He has been the only one that I've been seeing and as far as I know I am the only one he is seeing too. \n\nHowever, as the \"relationship\" progress, I see some insecurities in myself. Although I believe that I should never prevent him from seeing someone better, I fear that he would no longer like me and go for someone else. It might sound like a contradiction, but that's how I feel. I don't know of any evidence to support my fear, it's just always there, in the back of my mind.\n\nHe compliments me quite often, but I am not sure if he really mean it or just saying nice things to make me feel good. I would feel offended if the latter is the case, I don't need fake compliments to feel better; I would rather hear honest opinions.\n\nSometimes I get nervous, jealous and angry (I don't even know why!) when I see him walking/talking with other girls, I am afraid that this is gonna drive him away eventually, but I don't know how to stop. \n\nBeside this relationship, I just don't feel good about myself. I have shitty GPA, and I don't look pretty. I sometimes imagine how people would talk behind my back about why they hate me. My lack of confidence has caused me to say \"no\" to a lot of opportunities before even trying, and seeing my peers thrive with those opportunities only reinforced the idea that I suck. Maybe I really suck, and shouldn't be so ambitious.\n\nI went to my school's counselor, but my counselor only told me how to control myself when I feel extremely insecure, while I would like find the root of my problem. I really wish to know how to stop these insecure thoughts and become more confident.", "summary": "I am very insecure. Lack of confidence makes me suffer in a romantic relationship as well as in school. I am unhappy about myself. Would like to break the cycle but don't know how."} {"id": "t3_1nwc6i", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [21 M] with my SO [21 F] 2 years- Just had a fight over a hypothetical question, might be single...", "post": "Me and my SO have been together for a few years now, and we've known each other longer then that. about a year or so back after watching a movie, she brought up the topic of being in a threesome, stating if she was okay with it would I be okay with it.\n\nfoolishly, i said yes. Honestly I could care less one way or the other but she made it seem like it was something that would turn her on, etc. Anyways, we have a fight about it, come to a conclusion, then its over. Fastforward to earlier this year, and after another movie she brings up this conversation and once again we get into the same fight.\n\nNow she has brought it up a third time after having a dream where I cheat on her. She continuously asks why I think it's okay to touch another girl, I respond that in this hypothetical situation she would be turned on by it so why would it be a problem, to which she replies that I am dodging the question. I've continously responded and tied to talk about it with her but every response is marked as invalid for one reason or another.\n\nSo she threatens me that I better answer or else its over, I answer and she says its over.... Idk what to do, I understand it upset her, Im trying to make it right but at the same time we've had this conversation before and to top it off it's 3am and I've been working on an assingment thats due tomorrow while she's now probably comfortably asleep....", "summary": "SO and I fought over a hypothetical situation that has come up before, she didnt accept any of my answers and apparently left me because of it, or is at least not returning any calls."} {"id": "t3_27px5s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] girlfriend [22 F] -- Why is it that when we fight she just wants to be left alone when I want to talk?", "post": "If she's pissed off at something I've done or haven't done then she goes silent and ignores me, she'll do that for about 24 hours after which I'll eventually plead her to stop and apologise even if it's something I **know** I was right about. Why is it that I'm always the opposite?\n\nWhy is it that when either of us are pissed off I want to talk it out and discuss the problems in order to find a solution? Is this not the logical thing to do? When you're angry there's no fucking point in bottling it up and ignoring the other person, what the fuck is that going to solve?! Can someone explain this to me? Is it a maturity issue and if so is this common for girls her age? I'm trying to look for a rational reason why she'd want to do this!", "summary": "Girlfriend goes silent and ignores me when she's annoyed whereas I want to talk it out. Why does she do this? What does it solve?"} {"id": "t3_3q3mg3", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [24F] seem to get easily upset with my BF [30M] over little things when we're out in public and want to stop.", "post": "As the title says, I easily get upset with my boyfriend of 3 years over little things that he does in public that I see as immature (i.e. making weird comments, saying things for shock value to strangers). We just moved in together about 3 months ago and that's really when I started to get easily annoyed with things that he did or said in public that I called him out on. It's gotten to the point where he says that my calling him out on little things makes him feel incompetent and like I'm treating him like a child. I don't ever want to make him feel like he's not smart enough or good enough but for some reason I snap at him for little things. I want to stop doing this but I don't know how. I love him with all my heart and don't want to ever hurt his feelings. I'm worried though that my nagging him about little things in public could end our relationship. It might also help to know that I'm very much an introvert and shy/awkward and he's an extrovert and easy to talk to.", "summary": "I easily get upset with my BF over little things in public and want to stop and am worried it could end our relationship if I don't stop."} {"id": "t3_2g28ga", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[22M] How to stay faithful? more importantly should i stick around... [7months]", "post": "Forgive me for my shitty grammar reddit-sama.\n\n My girlfriend[21F] was going through a rough period recently and she wouldnt tell me what was up. So i was worried and anxious for two days wondering what was up. Finally she wanted to talk about it after blaming it on numerous other things and turns out its her father (nothing new but its not a big deal). I just felt.. empty, out of juice. I couldnt even console her. Im normally very understanding and non-jugdemental but something in my mind said \"im tired of this shit\" and i wanted to break up with her since.\n\nBut that's not the biggest issue, i feel like ive been emotionally cheating on her for the past month. Ive been hitting on girls, getting their numbers, and then deleting them essentially. All harmless fun? I feel like my heart is in the wrong place. \n\n This is the only relationship where i haven't cheated and yes im a bastard but im trying here. I constantly check out other girls, and even think about other girls when we are having sex. Is this normal? I feel like im too young to be in a relationship and i dont want to hurt her. I am all she has for support stateside (emotionally not financially) and if i leave her she has basically no-one so i feel as if im abandoning her. I still love this woman and i know in my heart she will be the one that got away. \n\n I just dont know what the right move is because ive never had a good model for a relationship in the first place. Every relationship ive been in resolves the same way but i am admant against cheating on anyone ever again. Is my wandering eye a normal human male thing or am i kidding myself and should i end this? I dont think im built for relationships period but if i were to stay how can i keep my reptilic mind in check and stay focused on the one i love?\n\nIm sorry for being a bastard C.", "summary": "Manwhore regrets getting in relationship, needs help to check wandering eye. Or needs a kick in the butt and stays single forever"} {"id": "t3_1c3qlh", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "[21/M] Should I get over my girlfriend [21/F] in a long-distance relationship?", "post": "First time poster, long time listener on Reddit.\n\nI've been with my girlfriend for just over 18 months now. We lived about 5 minutes walk from each other for all of my second uni year. She moved to France (year abroad for university) a bit before our year anniversary, and things were great between us during her first semester until, at the very beginning of her second semester (only two days after seeing me) she cheated on me.\n\nNow I freaked out but did the default, 'Its okay baby, I still love you, blah blah blah'. She replied with the whole 'I'm so sorry, I promise I'll never see him again, I'll cancel the holiday I had with everyone (which he was involved in)', and I decided to give it another shot.\n\nSince then everythings seemed to have changed. Not only does she seem more distant with me (no more soppy conversations, she doesn't miss me as much as she used to, etc.), but she also continues to hang out with everyone (including him) and she went on holiday with everyone.\n\nAll my friends are being great and telling me that I don't have anything to worry about - which is why I came on Reddit. I need people to be as honest as they can about this - should I keep the relationship going, or is it dead in the water? I'm still 100% in love with this girl, and have (what I imagine are) typical feelings that, if I lose her, my life is over.\nSo yeah, has anyone been in this kind of situation before? In the sense that they've fallen in love with a girl, she's moved to another country, and things have started to get 'weird'?\n\n[N.B. She only has another month and a half left of this year abroad, but will be going back to her final year at University (where the guy will obviously be as well) whilst I go back home (I finish this year).]", "summary": "Girlfriend of 18 months that I'm in love with is drifting away from me after cheating once; what to I do"} {"id": "t3_11g4av", "subreddit": "dating_advice", "title": "M(21) met this girl (23 or 24) and we're doing dinner with her friends as our first time heading out to hang out... Good or bad?", "post": "So I, m 21, met this girl(23,24) the other day while out shopping, and got her number, we started texting a lot, and decided to hang out...\n\nWe said that we would try and do coffee, but due to her schedule, she could not last weekend as she was planning on going home, and is not going to be back late into Sunday night.\n\nWe got into talking about what we might do, and I offered dinner, but she always gets dinner with her girlfriends.\n\nShe then invited me, and I'm uncertain as to what this means... Is it a good sign, or bad? \n\nI said yes, because if nothing else it shows confidence, and I'm not afraid to meet new people.\n\nI just don't know what to read into this... Anyone have any advice?", "summary": "Met a girl, we've been texting, going to dinner with her friends as the first time we'll hang out, does it mean anything bad/good?"} {"id": "t3_2htmhi", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "17/m have zero luck with girls. Need to know what to do with this one 17/f.", "post": "Okay, I'm 17 never had an official girlfriend and only kissed two girls. It's not that I'm ugly, it's that I'm super shy and don't talk much so I never have the confidence to ask someone out. This girl was the second girl I've ever kissed and it was last Wednesday. It was going good, we got together Friday again and went extremely well. Both times we just hung out at her house because we couldn't think of anything to do. Come the weekend, we work together so we were both at work literally all weekend. I asked her last night if she was free at all this week, and she said no. I explained that I was going to ask her on a real date and she said, \"Ohhh..\" I asked her if she wanted to and actually couldn't or if she just didn't want to, and she said she actually couldn't. I suggested next week and she responded with just a \"Maybe\" and that was it. She is a major flirt and I know this, but I have a terrible time letting someone go if I like them. She knows she is a flirt to. She asked me if I liked her and when I said yes, she said that o was her unachievable goal and to stop from leading guys on she wouldn't get a guy unless it was me. I feel like I'm getting the cold shoulder, but it might just be how she is... With her saying she wanted to, but following with maybe kept my hopes up. I want to tell her that if she doesn't want something with me just tel me so I won't end up hating her like another guy that went after her, because I liked having her as a friend before this, because she is fun to be around. I don't want it to be awkward between us since we work together and I really want to be her friend if it doesn't work out.", "summary": "How do I ask a girl to tell me if she doesn't like me so it doesn't become awkward and we can still remain friends?"} {"id": "t3_4fvf6a", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "Tifu by igniting my hand to read a text.", "post": "Mandatory this did actually happen today like 3 hours ago. \nI was polishing my parade boots for an inspection tomorrow. This involves copious amounts of kiwi black parade gloss boot Polish. Now for the unaware this stuff will burn Really well and really really hot(also the fumes can apparently get you high or so I've head). \n\nOne minute I'm sat there with a hand covered in finely spread shoe polish and a lighter in the other. I hear my phone next to me ring. So I turn around. In the process I put the lighter that was on at the time right under my hand Covered in flammable shoe polish. My hand was soon blazing on fire whilst I looked on in horror. \n\nDidn't Hurt that much as it went out fairly quickly and didn't leave any marks somehow (my hands were wet so that may explain it) .", "summary": "tried to read a text whilst boot Polishing and set my right hand on fire and cauterised a cut with it."} {"id": "t3_3n0ff0", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU my hand", "post": "The mandatory, this happened several years ago when I was a teenager. \n\nDuring my teen years, I'd help my father with his business(carpentry/construction).\nSo at this one job, I'm nailing together a door frame with a nail gun. This isn't my first rodeo, I know what I'm doing. \nGot the sides of the frame cut right, nailed in, check.\nTops cut right, time to get on ladder and nail it down into the sides. One side of the top nailed, ok good.\nSwivel on ladder to other side, and cue fuck up.\nI'm holding the piece with my palm on the side, and shoot the nailgun in the top. Well, the wood had a nasty warp on it and the nail ended up splitting the wood and going out sideways, shooting exactly into my palm. \n\nI didn't realize what happened until I pulled my hand out and looked at it to see the nail sticking out of my hand, buried about a half inch deep.\n\nOh. well that didn't hurt as bad as I thought.. \n*yanks nail out*\nHand starts spurting blood, and now my whole arm is red with my blood dripping down off my elbow on to the floor.\n\nImmediately go to the only hose at job site and start hosing the murder scene off. It stopped flowing about 5 minutes later after applying pressure and hosing blood away.\nMy hand was completely numb for about 12 hours, eventually regaining feeling over the next day.\n\nAnd that kids, is why nail guns are dangerous.", "summary": "= Shot my self with a nailgun, hand&arm looked like I went on murder spree, hand went numb for 12 hours."} {"id": "t3_4bvblb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "my long-distance non-binary partner (20) wants an open relationship and I (19F) don't", "post": "So me and my partner have been together for about a year and a half (i think? but only 6 month of this was in person, the rest long-distance). I'm the first partner they've ever had, first kiss, first sexual partner etc. Since we're so far apart from each other we obviously both struggle with missing physical affection but they seem to struggle with it a LOT more than me, especially sex which im not particularly interested in a lot of the time. \n\nThey brought up that they wanted to try an open relationship which i initially agreed to try but I soon realised i HATE the idea of my partner with someone else, and im thoroughly more comfortable with monogamy. \n\nProblem now is that they're saying they're starved for physical affection, they feel unwanted, not to mention depressed (although this has always been an issue for them). It even seems to me that they're not interested in me sexually and would rather sleep with some stranger, but they insist that they love me and want to be with me long-term and won't cheat on me blah blah.\n\nI dont even know what im asking here just some general advice and good wishes i guess? Is it fair of me to demand monogamy when we're on opposite sides of the world for months at a time, especially when it seems to be making my partner unhappy?\n\nthey're not as shitty as i'm making them sound and they dont want to hurt me in any way, we love each other very much but this is causing a real issue at the moment.", "summary": "Partner wants to sleep with other people while we're long distance but I don't want them to and don't know if thats fair."} {"id": "t3_24lt2k", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [20 M] with my __bestfriend_ [21 F] so can I really win this girl, my best friend is my dream", "post": "So my best friend is bisexual and she just got out of a relationship and it feels weird cuz she talk to me and will text me in the middle of the night saying I miss you and she always uses emogies. When ever she around I get butter flys along with I talk like I don't shut up and I talk to make it worse lol. And I think she sees it and she crackes up also she always leaves her friends to come talk to me. We always go out to eat and movies and other dates and this summer she wants to hang out and I want to tell her how I feel. Quick question anyone got a good date idea something that's a date but something better then movies and dinner. And one last thing she's the hottest girl on my campus and I feel like no chance even though I'm her best friend and everyone be jelly lol so anyone got any advice with me. Also she always tell me how she feels safe with me because one night months and months ago I took her out to dinner after a party and she was so drunk and I took her to dinner and then to her room and put her to bed and left so she trusts me. Also think she knows how I feel ? Ps my names James", "summary": "In love with bestfriend but can't find way to pin point it /will I be able to tell her how I feel or bad idea"} {"id": "t3_1vfh93", "subreddit": "GetMotivated", "title": "Need a kick in the butt to get out of this winter rut.", "post": "Longer post, lots of background. Bear with me. Also, if you've got a better place for me to post this, let me know!\n\nI graduated college May 2012, and I've been dicking around in the service industry because it's the only thing that can pay my student loan bills. I recently moved (from Milwaukee, WI to Door County, WI) and worked a job this past summer that was semi-relevant to what I went to school for, but it didn't work it out. It bummed me out awhile that I couldn't even hold a basic office job, but I knew it wasn't a good fit at all.\n\nI dig serving/bartending because I like interacting with people, among a slew of other reasons but it's our slow season. Where I live, there aren't a lot of young people this time of year. It's a super seasonal, touristy region that kills it in summer, but winters (especially my first winter away from a city) are rough socially, mentally and financially.\n\nIn any case, I'm bored. With myself, with my life. I feel all my interests that thrive just dying out. Partially because of Wisconsin weather and my inconvenient geographic location for social interaction, but mostly because I feel my passion for learning and bettering myself slipping away by the minute. I live with my boyfriend who's able to entertain himself quite well, but I find myself getting into the Netflix/Reddit/books rut. I can't quite afford going back to school for certificate classes that'd force focus on something I'm interested in. I just feel useless. A bored little lump on the couch.\n\nI read enough, but I can't get myself to act upon anything. I go to he gym. I play around on apps like Duolingo and Codeacademy, but the whole lure of those are how you can do small amounts at a time. Nothing can keep my attention long enough to get me truly excited. I just feel like I'm going through the motions.", "summary": "Looking for ways to combat boredom and become excited about learning and being alive again. Books. Websites. Games. Apps. Workouts. Documentaries. You name it. Please name it."} {"id": "t3_2tvsv8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "I [19 F] met and chatted with for a while a guy [23 M] that I really like - but he's not showing significant interest. Should I back out or attempt to see him anyways?", "post": "Last week in a store, I met a guy and spoke to him for a couple minutes. He was really attractive and intelligent, so I remembered his name and added him on Facebook. He accepted the request and started conversation with me - we chatted for about 3 hours. I suggested we go for drinks sometime when he's free and to my disappointment, he didn't agree on a date but just said \"Cool, I'll let you know\". He did however recommend a good place for lunch right by where he lives, and said that if I ever go there I should let him know.\nNow, it's been a week since that conversation and this guy is really on my mind. I've been waiting for him to restart conversation but he hasn't. Part of me wants to go to the lunch place tomorrow and text him asking if he wants to come. But, several things are holding me backI tend to easily get attached to guys that aren't completely interested in me and it always tends to really break me - i don't fall for guys easily and when I do, I fall hard. I'm also in a busy exam period and don't want to make time for a guy that isn't interested in me - not even for a quick lunch. I'm also afraid that the 4 year age difference (me 19, him 23) may prevent him from taking anything romantic seriously. \nI know asking all this is a little bit premature - we've spoken once. But I guess I'm just bad at interpreting behaviour and want to know - we speak once, he doesn't immediately act on me suggesting we go out for drinks, and he doesn't restart conversation after the first time. Should I just take this as a lack of real interest in me and stop being hopeful over anything?", "summary": "Met a guy and chatted with him - now want to meet up with him again as I like him a lot and am hopeful for more. He's not showing significant interest - being busy and vulnerable, should I back off?"} {"id": "t3_1p4auq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M]with my Girlfriend [27F]3 months, she yells all of the time", "post": "My girlfriend is very passionate which is great, but sometimes she just goes over the top. \n\nShe uses to me to vent, should be absolutely fine, but more often than not she ends up yelling, shouting and getting angry about issues which I have no emotional investment in. \n\nThis is an issue for me which I have talked to her about before because I'm not good at dealing with situations at such a high level of stress, especially if there is nothing that we can do to remedy it.\n\nIt gets me stressed out, it gives me a headache and I get impatient with her. An example that happened today: She is in the middle of trying to sort out a visa where she has to travel out of the country and the agent she is using has not been very communicative and she also found out she has to pay more for transport than she originally thought. \n\nI can totally understand why anyone would get stressed out, but she went on a tirade for half an hour or 40 minutes where she was yelling and swearing and making comments which I just couldn't agree with. I got pretty stressed out having to hear her vent like this for so long, yet again. I asked her why she had to yell and she just ignored me. \n\nAt the end she asked why I was being quiet and said to her I could think of a few other better ways to spend my evening then being yelled at and she got pretty pissed and walked out. I regret saying what I did and have apologised for it, but what can I say for her to understand that I just can't deal with that level of stress? Or am I the one that is being unfair in the situation?", "summary": "Girlfriend yells all the time, I can't deal with it, get impatient and don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_pgvan", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "BF doesn't want to \"change\" me but doesn't like that I am shy?", "post": "Background: I am 23 and very \"inexperienced.\" I was very sheltered in Catholic schools going up, and never really experimented or dated. That being said, I can count all of my encounters with men besides my current bf on one hand. \n\nFast forward to problem: I have been with my current bf for awhile, and honestly we are complete opposites, which is one thing that I love about him. I am reserved and shy while he is outgoing and knows everyone. Our personalities don't really mesh in the bedroom. I don't really initiate anything. I give it up every time he wants some, anywhere he wants some any way he wants some, but he asked me the other day why I don't initiate anything. It's just not my personality. Now he has gotten into asking if I would do things to him in advance of me hanging out with him which I think is wrong. Should I tell him to just stop whining?", "summary": "I give up sexytimes, but BF doesn't like that I don't initiate. Should he just be happy that I give it up whenever he wants (which is all the freaking time) and stop whining?"} {"id": "t3_1i9zyy", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What can I do about my employer being negligent about an ergonomics issue I have?", "post": "I work in a environment where I have to prepare food for a company which is pretty dedicated to ergonomics (hope this is the right word). I also have to wear gloves while doing so. I have huge hands. Pinky tip to thumb tip is probably close to 13-14 inches and I have fat fingers. Anyways, they only supply medium and large gloves, neither of which fit and both of which results in uncomfortable cramping. Which has been getting worse even when I'm not wearing gloves. I've made management aware of this, and I know they can get larger gloves that fit me, but to save money, they won't. I don't want to sound like a whining little bitch, but is there anything I can do about this?", "summary": "I have big hands, company won't supply fitting gloves, hand muscles are cramping a lot. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_tqmlz", "subreddit": "jobs", "title": "Unemployment office told me I was unemployable... now what?", "post": "I was laid off in December and have been on unemployment ever since as such I am required to attend 're-employment seminars' at my local unemployment office. At the last one we sat down with consultants and they went through our resume, job history etc and they go through the database and suggest jobs for you to apply to. The conclusion of my consultant was that I am unemployable...\n\nMy problem is I have a solid work history doing project management in the construction industry before making the jump in manufacturing and product development. At my last position I had a 5 person engineering in our Shanghai plant reporting to me and on an org chart was on the same level as the Plant General Manager reporting to the CEO and President. I won national level awards for my product designs and closed multimillion dollar contracts with Fortune 500 companies.\n\n**The issue is I don't have a degree.**\n\nI was told I should start applying for entry level jobs and remove a lot of my achievements and dumb down my responsibilities and such. Normally I would think this is insane but after applying for hundreds (literally hundreds I keep a log) of jobs and still not getting anywhere I am willing to give it a shot even if it means taking a job I'm not happy with.\n\nI am consistently told 1.) I was overqualified 2.) Even though the job I apply for is exactly what I was doing before I'm not eligible because I don't have a degree or 3.) No response.\n\nThe easy answer here is 'go back to school' and as much as I would love to do that I can't. I currently live out of my car since my apartment lease came up for renewal and I couldn't provide proof of income (unemployment doesn't qualify), can't get financial aid because my father makes to much money and is a believer in the 'you pay for your own way' line of thinking which I tend to agree with but screws me in this situation. Student loans aren't really an option because Stafford loans won't cover tuition and I don't have enough credit history to be approved for a traditional loan.\n\nI'm kind of at a loss now and becoming really discouraged so any advice would be great.", "summary": "I am unemployable because I have been working at a high level of business without a degree and can't land an interview to prove myself"} {"id": "t3_13694x", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Reddit, What is the most awkward think that you and your partner have experienced during sex?", "post": "I kind of don't want to get into mine but it is a throwaway account so...here goes.\n\nWell, one hot summer night my wife and I(lets call her tykwesha) were having some fun in bed and I was eating her out with her sitting on my face. I enjoyed it for the first 5 seconds or so until she let out the nastiest shart I have ever heard/smelled. I was horrible I even felt drips all over my face and till this day that night will never fail to haunt me.She is no longer my wife because of the resulting mental issues I had to deal with. I couldn't even be in the same room as her after that night because of the sheer disgust I felt the second it happened returned so.. we eventually got divorced. And a few years of therapy later I am now dating again and am proud that I can now talk about this.", "summary": "ex wife Shat in my face while I was eating her out.I was so disgusted after that, that we got divorced and I had to go to therapy for a few years just to be able to date again."} {"id": "t3_4x5irc", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Long distance relationship transit to living together going sour.", "post": "Okay, so going to make this as short as possible.\n\nBasically, long distance gf has moved in, I'm military overseas which makes it hard enough because my hours are insane to say the least.\n\nI am a 24 year old male, a hard worker and have a large amount of responsibility at work. My girl is 20, unemployed, and not going to school, so essentially has no responsibilities. \n\nWe aren't really connecting which is the first issue, Intimacy is not an issue at all, we are intimate at least 3-5 times a week sometimes more time permitting. But conversation is pretty none existent.\n\nShe complains she is bored most of the time with nothing to do, but she doesn't really help around the house and doesn't even make dinner ever other than heating up leftovers I've cooked. But she doesn't go out and do anything while I'm away. \n\nI feel like this is quickly fading and I'm not sure what to do to remedy our issues. How do I get her to be more involved in taking care of our home and willing to have a personal life? How do I reconnect on a personal level?", "summary": "long distance gf moved in, having trouble adjusting, she seems lazy and our connection is fading quick. Advice and criticism welcome."} {"id": "t3_1cjlg8", "subreddit": "college", "title": "Going to this Uni's counselor, I need some help...", "post": "I have been studying for the SATs for several months now because I plan on taking the test on May 4th. The University that I am planning on going to is Kean University and I am going to see the counselor; although, I have some idea as what to ask I would like to know what you (College veteran, people who has gone through this whole college process already) think I should make an imperative to ask. I want to major in Economics so if any of you who is or has studied Economics would like to give me advice as to what I should ask concerning this major so that I fully knowledgeable on the matter.\nI will be eternally grateful.", "summary": "What should I ask the student counselor to this University I want to go too regarding college itself, Economics, and SAT scores."} {"id": "t3_3szj9p", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [21F] boyfriend of 5 years has a weird tumblr [22M]", "post": "Hey, everyone. This is a throwaway because my boyfriend reddits.\n\nMy boyfriend and I just recently moved in together. I was using his phone to do something and I clicked the little button on the phone where all your open apps are up to close the app and I noticed that my boyfriend had a tumblr open.\n\nYes, so I snooped. I was definitely curious to see what kind of things he would be blogging about. I figured maybe some Doctor Who, maybe some Fallout things, and I got something that was way, way different.\n\nHe's never posted anything, but all the blogs he follows are fringe fetish blogs. Like, chicks pooping in the woods, naked grannies, that sort of stuff.\n\nAnd then I clicked to see the posts that he's liked and they're all scat, elderly-women related and I would think that maybe this was just kind of a prank set up by some hilarious friend but in the few posts I scrolled past I also saw an Arrested Development gif so it's obvious that he's liking these things himself.\n\nOur sex life is completely vanilla. Like, the craziest thing we do is light choking. All of this stuff has completely taken me off guard.\n\nMy question is, what do I do? Should I just never open this box of worms ever again and just forget it? Should I ask him about it?", "summary": "My boyfriend has a tumblr for scat and granny porn. Don't know what to do with that information."} {"id": "t3_1rr6p2", "subreddit": "offmychest", "title": "You Could Have Just Asked Me", "post": "*My Mom tricked me into cashing a savings bond from my deceased Grandmother then stole half the money literally snatching it from my hands. She told it was Christmas money, said it was a present from her and refused to answer any of my questions. I needed the money being a college student with living expenses so I foolishly went along with it thinking that my own mother wouldn't screw me over. We always had a rocky relationship but over the last two years I was beginning to think she really cared. Apparently she cared enough to trick me into cashing 700 in bonds then steal 350 from me betraying my trust in her. She had lost her job (her own fault for being late), something she wasn't even going to tell me if I hadn't guessed but she didn't need it more than me. I thought I could trust her, all she had to do was explain everything and ask me for it and I would have given it to her. All she had to do was ask.", "summary": "Mom lied and stole $350 from me when all she had to do was ask for it instead of breaking my heart."} {"id": "t3_1dxurm", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "My [28/M] ex-fiancee [23/f] left me for soul searching and partying..", "post": "We dated for a little over 4 years and she initially said she needed a break from me because I didn't understand how important school was to her and that she wanted to do well this past semester. I agreed. She started acting really distant and cold towards me and eventually after almost a week of NC called me up and told me how horrible of a boyfriend I had been and that I just don't understand her and never will. I listened to all her complaints and told her I would do everything I could to give her space and work on myself at the same time. She told me that she needed another month to decide whether she wanted to be with me. About 2 weeks in (some days we wouldn't talk at all, other days she would send me \"i love you so much\" texts) I told her that I've waited 2 months to figure out what exactly is going on between us and It's taking an emotional toll on me. She called me up about 4 hours later crying hysterically telling me that as much as she loves me, she feels like she needs time to decide whether I'm the one she wants to marry. She told me that there was no other guy and this wasn't about sex or me personally, just that she never really got to experience being single and wants to get the most out of her last year of college. She got upset when I told her I was going to pawn the engagement ring and that I was thinking of moving back to New York since I don't really have any friends here. Since that conversation (about 2 weeks ago) I have initiated zero contact and she has texted me a few times just to say that she is sorry and that she feels like she failed me. I'm so confused with what to do here.. I love this girl more than anything and would kill to get back with her..", "summary": "ex fiancee left to find herself and enjoy her last year of college, made tons of excuses and gave many reasons. Looking to see if there is a chance we are going to get back.."} {"id": "t3_uj47h", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "[23/m] Going on a break with my gf[23]", "post": "So, things just haven't felt the same between us. I am a year older than she is, and since we met in college, I graduated before her. School is about 3 hours away from me, and over the past year, I would visit regularly. Unfortunately, I'm still jobless after a year of being out there, and I think I ended up stressing her out when I was there more than anything. (She has always been very active, studious, etc., so when I was there, she would always have stuff to do, and felt like she'd have to find things for me to do while she was busy.)\n\nNow that she's graduated, we are six hours from each other. I'm still working on landing a job, and she is going to get an additional degree in the fall. However, things have just become so routine. Almost like Im always there, and it's like she's stopped missing me, even though we're so far from each other.\n\nMy question is whether or not going on breaks work. I see myself with her for the rest of our lives, but I don't want her to resent being in this relationship. Is there anything else I should try before we do this?", "summary": "GF and I have grown apart - I feel like she doesn't miss me anymore, even though we live 6+ hours away. Do relationship breaks work?"} {"id": "t3_4tkowb", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23F] and my friends [21F/22F] were thinking about going on vacation but they finally went with another friend of ours [22F] without telling me. I don't know if I'm being childish or not.", "post": "Hi everyone,\n\nI'll try to make is short.\n\nI have three very good friends, called Cali, Mary and Sally. In the beginning of july, Cali had the idea to go on holiday in the south of the country with Mary and I. I was happy but I have very very strict parents, I warned them that I won't have the answer now but I was very interested to go. We would go in august.\n\nSo last week (tuesday), I phoned Cali just to casually talk to her and see how she's doing and she informs me that she, Mary and Sally were going to Italy.....just the day after (so wednesday).\n\nI was a bit shocked and didn't tell anything. I wished them a happy vacation. Moreover, the conversation ended as her niece just threw up. She promised to call later but did not.\n\nSo now, I'm just wondering if they really consider me their friends or not. They couldn't have planned at the very last minute as they were all three on vacation with their own family.\n\nPlease, just tell me if I'm overthinking this or if my concerns are real.\n\nThat's the first time I considered girls being my \"real friends\", so maybe I'm just not used to have friends ?\n\nThe three girls were almost roomates during their study so they might be closer to each other than I am with them. (However, Cali and Sally didn't talk to each other the entire previous year).\n\nWriting that, i must admit that I feel like i'm in primary school. However, I still think it was not loyal that they avoided me like that and I don't really wanna talk to them. But in the same, i don't wanna appear like a crybaby or something. And it hurts to think that they avoided me like that.\n\nWhat should I do ?", "summary": "Three friends that are close to me went on vacation in Italy without telling me, while we made plans to go together in the south of the country. It hurts to think they avoided me."} {"id": "t3_y49lc", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "AskReddit, what advice do you have for a sixteen-year old who just decided to get his shit together and actually try at school/life?", "post": "Background: I mentor a young man who has made some pretty lazy life decisions in the past. He dropped out of three courses during his sophomore year, and held an incredible 1.5 GPA. He's a smart kid, but kept telling me that he was \"lazy\" (as if it was a badge of honor). \n\nHe comes from a low-income household, and so one day I just straight-up asked him: \"How are you going to provide for your future family? How are you going to take care of your mom when she becomes too old to take care of herself?\" After all, working at fucking McDonalds does not pay the bills, right?\n\nThat conversation sort of woke him up, and he's really been making an effort to turn his life around and apply himself. He's registered for an online high school (rather than face a third new high school -- his family moves a lot), and wants to get into college. Class doesn't start for a few weeks, so I'm trying to teach him time management, planning ahead, making goals, etc. \n\nThe problem is, he's been such a slack-ass for so incredibly goddamn long that he doesn't even know how to motivate himself. He has aspirations, but he doesn't know how to carry them through without falling back on his old ways. For instance: he wanted to learn how to type, and started to train himself via a website. I left him for ten minutes, and he was already looking at lolcats or some shit. \n\nI really think he wants to do better, but he's currently defeating himself. \n\nAnyway, I was hoping some of you might have some perspective to offer. What should his next steps be? What would you do? Are there any college admissions people out there that might have some suggestions for him?", "summary": "Slacker student is trying to turn life around, too stuck in lazy habits to make the change easy. Need advice on how to change, how to get into college, etc."} {"id": "t3_p2nxk", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My boyfriend never initiates sex or kissing with me.", "post": "My boyfriend and I have been together in a relationship for about 5 months. We are both in our early 20s. Initially, there was a lot of passion between us and the physical aspect of our relationship was great. I've noticed the last few weeks that I am always the one to initiate sex. While we are having sex, its great, don't get me wrong. But I am ALWAYS the one to initiate it. I've even noticed that I am the one to always initiate kissing, too. Like when we are sitting on the couch watching a movie or something, he will never lean over and kiss me like I will do to him. And sometimes when I kiss him he just pecks me and goes back to watching tv. \n\nI know there's no one else or anything like that. And I think he still wants to be in this relationship, it's just as if he has no sexual interest in me whatsoever. He does initiate us hanging out and going out on dates and whatnot, but its mostly the physical stuff. I just don't know what to do. Honestly, it makes me feel like crap. Should I bring it up to him? Truthfully speaking, I think it will make me look really insecure. And I'm generally not an insecure person. This is just something I have noticed the past few weeks. Also, I feel like I should have to bring this up - he should WANT to want me - and me bringing it up will sound like I am trying to tell him how he should feel or something. What do you think would be the best way to approach this situation? Help Reddit!", "summary": "My boyfriend never initiates sex or kissing with me, it makes me feel like crap, how should I bring it up to him without sounding like a clingy insecure girlfriend? "} {"id": "t3_2r7csm", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by forgetting a door stopper", "post": "Ugh, I hate my cat. ^(^Not ^really, ^I ^love ^her)\n\nI'm currently in the process of moving into a new appartement, at the point where I just have a mattress lying on the floor.\n\nThen there is my cat, a 9 year old divine princess, craving pets and occupying comfy places. While she is a nice cat, it's important to know that her kidneys aren't working too good anymore which requires to give her pills and special kidney diet food. (Chronic kidney disease, she's still living a decent cat life) \n\nAt day time she normally lays on that mattress and just does the usual cat business. When I go to sleep, she usually switches over to lie on my desk chair.\n\nToday I wanted to move some more stuff to my new place, which kinda led me into a bit of a hurry. (Had an appointment to buy used furniture)\n\nThis is, where the whole fuckup started. Normally, I have some door stoppers laid down, which keeps the doors from shutting down on their own. For some reason, I somehow put one away, giving the door full power to close. Which the door did. Was there some wind? A ghost? I don't know. What I know is, that my cat was still in my room, doing their things. Well... cats that have this disease tend to pee a lot more. On her quest to the cat toilet she encountered the closed door, with no way for her to open it.\n\nNow... we all know, cat logic is really weird. Out of desparation she just sat down on that fluffy comfy mattress and let go. Guess I'll have to sleep on an air bed for the next 1-2 days. (I'm kinda glad she didn't make an effort to pee onto the blankets.)\n\nWhile I was writing this text, she came into the room again, looking confused, why there is no mattress there anymore. Cats.", "summary": "Was in a hurry, forgot that there was no door stopper between the door, door shut down on it's own, locking my cat in my room, cat needed to pee, relieved herself on my mattress"} {"id": "t3_2c8dln", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My(20) GF(18) of 1.5 years told me she needs space. I do to know how to handle it.", "post": "My GF and I have been together for a year and a half now. We had an amazing 6 months then I left for the military. \n\nShe was perfect when I was in basic training but then things got rocky through 8 months of tech school. \n\nI came home in February and I wasn't the same guy I used to me. Not as much emotion and I definitely wasn't showing her the love I should have been. \n\nWe had a rough couple of months, some good some bad. And last week she told me that she needs some space to figure things out. She said she still loves me and wants us but that she's not ready. \n\nI have 100% woken up and I know how I need to treat her now. But I don't know how to handle this. I tried to see if we could talk but she said she's not ready. I just keep crying.", "summary": "GF of 1.5 years said she needs space. I've changed for the better and don't know what to do."} {"id": "t3_2ntfbo", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "tifu by having a wet dream on a bus...in uniform", "post": "not actually today but during my time at basic training.\n\npart of basic training is going to the military museum in Ottawa right around week 5-6. now i'm pretty excited, woke up at 5am, packed box lunches and filed onto the bus where i took a seat next to my girlfriend at the time (we met at basic and are now married) ready for the 3 hour bus ride.\n\n first hour we talk and not much else then we get bored and i doze off. I love my wife and think she is unreal attractive so it makes sense that after 5 weeks of not being able to touch because of barrack life and a sergeant that insisted on making it well known if he saw us so much as sit together i'd get charged, im constantly thinking about her sexually. this time it just happened to be while sleeping... on a bus... with 59 other privates and my staff.... in uniform... on the way to a military museum. \n\nall of the sudden her and i are in space and brooms are floating by and we come across beach chairs at this point im like 50% sure im dreaming but im not waking up so i roll with it, we are naked and we start doing the sex and it feels fucking awesome (most people sneak away to jack off in barracks but i didn't, not fucking once) im ready to go and suddenly i start feeling like im peeing, a lot. i wake up and my legs are really warm and im seriously concerned i just pissed myself in my sleep. i throw a hand down trou and try to feel it out. turns out i just jizzed 5 months worth of not jacking off in one go and now my combat pants are filled with muh jizz. \n\nbest part i then spent the next 6 hours walking around looking at pictures of hitler and talking to other people that had also come to the meseum AND having a really sweet old guy on a golf cart drive up to me and thank me for what im choosing to do as a career and shake my hand etc. all the while my girlfriend is shitting herself laughing then entire time knowing what's up.", "summary": "i jizzed my combat uniform before going to a military museum and getting lectures on military honour/ pride and shaking hands with people"} {"id": "t3_umv46", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Financially drowning and it's my own fault. Now how do I start the climb out of this?", "post": "I am about to finish grad school and have more student loan bills coming up. Right now I have 2 credit cards I haven't been able to pay in forever, tickets and such that I can't afford and have turned into warrants, a car that is on its last legs and nothing but trouble, and I owe 2 friends money. I just got a second job that should at least give me the ability to start paying somethings off. \n\nShould I consider consolidating my debt? I figure I should pay the tickets off first so I don't go to jail. I really just need tips on how to start this process so it doesn't feel so hopeless. It has me really depressed right now which only leads to problem avoidance and denial. I need to change this situation starting now!", "summary": "shit load of private and legal debt. should I consolidate my debt? Any tips to get started so that this doesn't seem impossible?"} {"id": "t3_2bx4ih", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [27 M] found my best friend's girlfriend [26 F] on Tinder, she denies ever using it, not sure if to confront her", "post": "I live with my roommate/landlord/best friend John and his partner Maddy. Maddy and John are awesome together and I can't believe they finally found people so much like themselves and I've known John since before he met her, he's a great person and friend. So today I was on Tinder and there she was, and her profile didn't mention being in a relationship or John nor was he in any of the photos. Tonight all three of us went fishing together and I was talking about the girls I was chatting with and John asked Maddy if before they had met, had she used Tinder. She flat out denied ever being on it. I don't want to assume the worst, but I'm not sure of another explanation.", "summary": "found my best friend's girl on tinder, she denies ever being on it, not sure if I should confront her."} {"id": "t3_uyr4p", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "The sex in my 5 year long relationship has gotten boring and I want kinkier sex. It feels like my boyfriend just doesn't seem interested in that anymore. What should I do?", "post": "We have been having difficulties with sex for the last few months. If I start to make the moves (I am female BTW) he just ignores me or dissmisses me until possibly hours later if at all when he gets in the mood. It not only hurts my self esteem but by the time he wants it I am pissed off and very not in the mood. I feel like I never get to have sex on my terms any more, or when I am actually horny. On top of that our sex is pretty vanilla lately. The most different it gets is a finger in my booty hole, and that is a rare treat I enjoy. He had said previously in an argument about finances that he wanted me to wear more lingerie during sex, but the whole fight and context made me feel like it would just be payback to him for the money he spends on dinner, and it was a turn off really. If I think about getting dressed all sexy I just end up feeling disgusted by remembering the fight or just feeling insecure because he could turn me down again anyway (which happened in the past). I just want gnarly kinky sex like we used to have. Toys, biting, passion, sexting (which he has never done, but I liked it from other relations so I wish that he would do it, I send him sexy photos that he never replies to), maybe some adventurous outdoors sex, you know get out side the boring bed sometimes! Every time I talk to him about he says he will try, or he has been trying, but in reality I never get sex when *I* am horny and he never wants to do anything adventurous anymore. It is making me depressed, self concious, and lonely. It makes me think about how it would be with someone else, but I love him and want him to be the one to satisfy me sexually. How do I get him to step up to the plate?", "summary": "Boyfriend always turns me down when I am horny, only wants sex when he is the mood. We have boring vanilla sex, he comes too quick, I am sad/bored/lonely."} {"id": "t3_2e7nle", "subreddit": "askwomenadvice", "title": "23f - maybe pregnant and I. am. So. Afraid", "post": "Hey Ladies!\n\nI read a lot at /r/AskWomen and I hope I will get some help here or at least some advice to deal with this.\n\nSo, my SO and I went to a spa over the weekend. We had way too much wine on Fridaynight which led to good sex but it could have consequences - like that whole baby thing. The condom broke and I am not on the pill (my body doesn't like the hormons). I took Plan B on Saturday - not even 12 hours after the act. \n\nOn Monday I read about the Plan B on the internet I did take and it is most likely that it didn't work for me - simply because I'm overweight and the worst thing about it all\u2026 On Tuesday I had some blood in my panties - no big deal you think. Did you know that women can bleed when the egg nest itself into the uterus? This occurs about 4 to 6 days after the fertilization. Saturday to Tuesday equals 4 days.\n\nAlso my body tricks me. I have all those typical soon-to-be-bleeding (like getting my period) symptoms that are also soon-to-mom symptoms\u2026 And the worst thing of all: My period was never the thing that you can predict. Mostly because of the stress in college and I took some antibiotics that fucked up my cycle over the last year. So, it could be that I had my ovulation on Friday.\n\nDon't get me wrong. I want kids but now it is just the wrong time. I will start my first big girl job in September, just dropped out of college and it is just not the right time. My SO is totally behind me. He even bought me the Plan B (you can get it in every pharmacy without a prescription here in my country).\n\nI am driving crazy. I feel pregnant. I freak out and can't concentrate on anything other than that\u2026 Please tell me everything going to be okay. I have a gyno appointment in two weeks but I am afraid until then I will drive crazy because I don't know what's going on.", "summary": "afraid to pregnant. Had unprotected sex on Friday, took Plan B - could be that it didn't work. Blood in panties on Tuesday."} {"id": "t3_j05h1", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is your fondest memory from grade school? I'll start.", "post": "Mine is from 3rd grade. I wasn't very popular in grade school, so I was constantly picked on and felt very excluded socially. So one day in class, our teacher is going over multiplication tables. To help us with the memorization, she setup a competition. She had one line of all the boys, and one line of all the girls. One student from each line would step forward, and she would hold up a multiplication problem (such as 9x6 = ?) on a flash card. Whoever answered correctly first won the bout and went to the back of the line. The other was eliminated. Whichever line was completely eliminated first was the loser. \n\nIt was close at first, but the girls went on a run and eliminated everyone in the boys line...except me. There were about 9 or 10 girls left in the line. It was all up to me: if I missed one answer, we were done. Being that I wasn't very socially accepted as it was, I could only imagine the ripping I'd get if I screwed that up. My head was spinning and my heart was pounding.\n\nI don't remember answering the equations. I went into this sort of zone; I just focused completely on the card and nothing else. With each correct answer by me, the boys would get more and more excited. I was sweating, it was intense...\n\nThe last girl steps up. Here it was, all on the line. If I get this question right, I go down in 3rd grade history as a hero (well, at least for the rest of the day). The teacher flips the card. I can still see it: \"12x9 = ?\". I see the answer in my head, it comes right to me. \"108!!\", I scream. The teacher nods...the boys go nuts. They all come running up to me from the floor where they were sitting, eliminated. They jump up and down patting my back, much like a baseball team does when a player hits a game winning homerun. I felt like a king, it was pure bliss.", "summary": "Answered 3rd grade multiplication equations like a boss in a game competition in class, thus bringing my team back from a sure loss to a thrilling victory."} {"id": "t3_1kvqy6", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "I [22/F] have no sex drive with my boyfriend of 2 years [24/M]..Is this normal? Help!", "post": "We've been together for 2 year, and in the beginning we would have sex alllll the time-- like 2 to 3 times a day, every day. It was great. Nowadays, we have sex maybe once every 1-2 weeks. I just don't have the drive to have sex. I've tried to spice things up with toys and games, and they work sometimes but I just seem to have lost all drive. I still find him attractive, but I'm always tired and never in the mood (I'd rather watch TV or sleep, etc.). Anyone who has been in a long relationship before, did you experience this? Did it pass? Is it something that I am going to have to work at all the time? \n\nMy theories as to why are either:\n- It's typical with relationships this long, and it will pass.\n- It's my birth control, and it's ruining my sex drive.", "summary": "I have no sex drive in my 2 yr relationship. I wold like input from others who have been in this situation! Thanks!"} {"id": "t3_zqo9u", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Had the best 20th birthday I could've ever hoped for yesterday. Reddit, what are some of your favorite birthday memories?", "post": "So out of pure fortune, my favorite band, August Burns Red, just happened to be playing a show in my hometown of Pittsburgh, PA on my birthday last night. After having a pretty bland day of college classes and work, I headed out to the local venue to have a great time.\n\nI worked my way through the crowd during the three opening acts, and by the time the last one was done playing, I found myself front and center. I'd seen ABR once before, but it was at a big festival, so seeing them at in a more intimate venue, where I was literally inches from them, was really cool. When the lead singer asked the crowd how they were doing, I yelled, \"It's my birthday!\" He looked at me and asked my name and how old I was. After I told him, he lead the crowd in singing me happy birthday. Later on in the show, he passed me the mic to deliver a line for him, and kept looking at me throughout the show, seemingly enjoying my enthusiasm. Then after the show when they were throwing out drumsticks and picks, the lead guitarist handed me a setlist that had been taped to the stage. A few minutes later, the vocalist came down to meet everyone, and I got to talk to him for a minute, get a picture, and get my setlist signed.\n\nAt 20 years old now and living in a family that doesn't have a whole lot of money, I'm well past the age where birthdays are very special anymore. But with all that happened last night, my 20th was certainly one to remember. So this brings the question: Reddit, what are some of your favorite birthday experiences?", "summary": "saw my favorite band play in my city on my birthday, made it to front row, had happy birthday sung to me by the band and everyone there, and got a signed setlist."} {"id": "t3_trsr0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "I have the same nightmare every night. What do you think it means, Reddit?", "post": "In my dream I'm rushing into the back door of my old high school (I'm 25/F), its nighttime and the weather is snowy. I walk down the hallway and see my old music teacher. She looks at her watch and says \"You're on in ten, hurry up.\" The realization hits me that I'm expected to be on stage in front of an audience in ten minutes. I hustle to my music locker and grab my flute and music folder (I played flute all through school, and still do). I'm thinking the entire time: \"what pieces are we playing?\" I look through the folder and there are at least 40 pieces of random paper falling out. Books, pamphlets, and graded tests are shoved in there; seemingly everything but music.\n\nNow, anxiety hits me that I can't find the music, and I don't even know what pieces they are. The other two girls I'm to perform with walk out onto the stage in front of the crowd (indiscriminate people), and set up. They're waiting for me\u2026. I don't know what to do. I sit in my chair on the stage, knowing that everyone in the crowd is waiting for us to start\u2026.but I can't perform. I don't have any idea why I'm there or what I'm supposed to be doing. Everyone stares at me as I panic.\n\nThen I wake up.\n\nI've had this dream several times a week ever since high school. Sometimes it will involve playing my flute; sometimes it will be singing a song for chorus/my band or presenting a paper in class, or even give a speech in front of random strangers. I freeze with the realization that I have no idea how I've gotten there or what I should be doing. It haunts me really, and I really have no clue what it would mean.", "summary": "I constantly have nightmares about performing in front of strangers. Every dream is similar in that I have no idea why I'm there or what I should be doing."} {"id": "t3_fbqmv", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Need help with my windows7 that has become aware of the fact that it's illegitimate.", "post": "so, long story short, my windows became a little self conscious about it being an illegitimate child and now it's bitching and it keeps showing me this:\n\n[I am an abomination, kill me and get a normal child, made in God's own image](\n\nbut even though this is a bastard windows, i still love it like my own child. i raised it, i thought it everything it knows, drivers, programs, i thought it how to write with Office (a bastard office), i introduced it to retro games, protected it from all the evil in the world (4chan) using protection software and i even gave it it's first porn movie. I'm invested in this windows, and i love it, despite it's shortcomings. It's MY windows, goddammit!\n\nBut i wanna shut it up and get rid of this inferiority complex it has of not being pure-breed (or bread?) cause even love has it's limits and if it won't shut up... well, domestic violence is a sad thing.\n\ncan anyone help my windows get over it's insecurities and learn to love itself, like i do? (love it, not myself)", "summary": "windows keeps telling me it's not genuine. i know it's not, how can i get it to stop telling me?"} {"id": "t3_2jub02", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Medical bills/workman's comp question.", "post": "Five years ago, I was injured at work. I broke my leg during a fall on the ice. Fractured fibula along with a lot of damage to my ankle. It had to go to litigation for me to receive workman's compensation. I didn't have health insurance at the time. I paid what I could out of pocket and with the help of my mother. I received charity care from the hospital I went to. I paid what I could to the orthopedic surgeon. I know that I still had a few outstanding bills. The bills went to collections (even after I told these places that my case was in litigation.) When the collections agencies called, I told them the the case was being litigated and the calls stopped.\n\nA few months ago, after a long LONG time, I was awarded a settlement. In the time since my injury, I achieved gainful employment, moved out of my mother's house, and got married. I've made trips to my mother's to try and find the old bills that she was 'filing' for me at the time. No luck in finding them. I got my credit report from creditkarma.com and there's nothing in the 'collections' section. My wife says that after a period of time, medical bills will just 'go away.' So now I have a bank account with just over $10K that I'm terrified to touch. What is your advice reddit?", "summary": "Got hurt at work, didn't get immediate worker's comp. Litigation kept collections off my back. Litigation is finally over and no one has their hand out for payment. What do I do?"} {"id": "t3_3elbc8", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [24F] with my boyfriend [24M] of 2 years were talking about our (possible) future children (not pregnant!) and ear piercings.", "post": "So my boyfriend and I were talking about kids and the topic of ear piercings came up. To give some background, I am from India, now living in the U.S., and my boyfriend is American. \n\nI'm not very traditional (eat beef, not religious), but in my culture, young girls have their ears pierced before they turn two years old (some girls have their ears pierced when they're only a few months old). There are two major reasons for this: (1) Indians believe that the ear lobe is still very soft when children are that young so it will hurt significantly less and (2) it is traditional for mothers to give daughters earrings as family heirlooms. Girls wear these while they're growing up. I think that waiting to pierce her ears is unnecessary and painful, when she won't remember anything at all as a baby. \n\nMy boyfriend thinks that this is way too early and that you should wait for the girl to make her own choice later (he says somewhere around 6-10 years old at the earliest). He believes that you are taking the choice away from the girl about whether she wants her ears pierced at all.\n\nI feel that this is a gift to give my daughter so that I can pass on my heirloom jewellery to her. Does my boyfriend have a point (is it too early), or is there a way to compromise?", "summary": "My boyfriend thinks that piercing our (possible) future daughter's ears before 6 years old is too early. I think that it is cruel to wait until she is older and would therefore be in significantly more pain."} {"id": "t3_w5vie", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "So what is the worst \"quick and easy tip/trick\" you know.", "post": "I have heard from many people that peelings potato after it\nHas been boiled is an easier way to go about the process. I have tried this and must say it SUCKS. You have to wait for the potatoes to cool down for so long before you can touch them to do this that you immediately loose any time gained by the peel coming off easier and forget about mash potatoes cause by this point they are too cold and then it isn't even good for cold applications (salad) cause during peeling is when you are able to get all of the \"eyes\" and rotten bits out. Not gonna work with potatoes that are cooked. The whole thin falls apart.", "summary": "got a bad tip about potatoe peeling, what \"easy/quick\" tips have you gotten that suck ( not necessarily food related)"} {"id": "t3_q5l2s", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "LDR and the future", "post": "I'm in a bit of dilemma and need some objective advice. To start, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year; I'm 21 and he's 22. We're both finishing up our degrees this year - he has already been hired for 2 years with a great company, in a city 3 hours away. I unfortunately, am floundering with my future; I have the option to do a masters, take a different 2 to 4 year degree or start looking for jobs with my bachelors.\n\nOn the whole, we're happy and I care about him a lot, but my lack of a solid 'plan' for the next two years is starting to make me doubt whether the relationship can work long term (and long distance, although my family lives in the same city as he is working). I've talked to him about my hesitations and he sort of shuts down. I know he wants to try long distance but when I ask him what will happen if after 2 years, we're still together, he says he hasn't even thought about it.\n\nI am having trouble determining what I should be considering and what I should leave to 'fate' '(so to speak), when deciding if I want to make the effort to stay together. How do I not obsess about the details? What are the important questions I need to ask myself and I how do I approach him without threatening him with 'too much, too soon'?", "summary": "Boyfriend and me are graduating. He has a job a city away. I don't know what to do with my life. Do we try to make it work?"} {"id": "t3_iucdf", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "AskReddit, i need your aid!", "post": "hey guys, my brother is having some problems, and i was wondering if anyone with legal experience could help us out. i know, i know, its not official, but its better than nothing.\n\nanyway, my brother was approached at work by one of his co-workers selling a motorcycle. the bike is a honda cbr-600 f4i, perfect condition, 4.8k miles, but its just a few years old. The lady who approached my brother said that she wanted it out of her garage because it was taking up space and she had no use for it, and neither did her husband.\n\nmy brother goes to look at the bike, along with my dad who is a bike nut, and talks with the lady's husband. He says its been sitting in the garage for a few years and that it probably needs the oil changed and the gas removed from the tank. The guy says he will sell the bike for 2.5k, a steal considering the bike is worth at least 5k. The low price is mainly because he just wanted it gone.\n\nthis was about a month ago.\n\nFast forward to today. My brother has gotten his motorcycle permit, changed the oil, changed the battery, removed and drained the gas tank, and changed the oil filter. He is proud because he is going to take it to get registered. Goes to the DMV and what do we find? that in 2008 the owners tried to have it registered in CA and found that, to their dismay, it needed at least 7.6k miles and since it did not it could never be registered in CA.\n\nso, reddit, i come to you in a time of need. what is our plan of action?\n\nif my brother sues, is there a case? \n\nif he wins, does he have to give them back the bike?", "summary": "brother bought motorcycle, did a great deal of work to it, found it cannot be registered in CA and the owners knew this when selling it to him. Wat do?"} {"id": "t3_iz2o0", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What is wrong with me? (or am i just lazy?)", "post": "This is a throw away account as I have friends that Reddit and well, I'm sure you all know the drill. Anyways!\n\nSo I have been studding engineering at a pretty decent University for the past couple of years. Recently however my parents have decided to pull me out of school because I am basically failing out of engineering. I am not angry about this as I agree with their decision. Engineering is the only subject I have any real passion for. However I refuse to put in the time and get through the calculus series.\n\nI is not like i did not see this coming. My parents had warned me several times that they would pull me from school if things continued as they did. But despite this and despite how much i like being at school, despite how much I knew I would hate going back home I did nothing about it. \n\nI've always lacked motivation, its like muted grey dullness I feel about most things in my life, as if most of the time I am only going though the motions. As terrible as it sounds the only time I ever really feel something is when I'm on something. Most of the time its been pretty bearable and I could handle myself well enough (though obviously not well enough to stay in engineering) I suppose not we but ever since moving back home it had just been worse. I sleep all the time, I eat way less, I don't want to answer when friends call/txt, I don't pursue any of my hobbies anymore. I just sit, reddit and watch movies. \n\nBeing around my parents all the time also just make me irritated and short tempered toward them even though I know they are only trying to help me. I want to get my life back on track, but I am not sure how to get out of this rut/habitual cycle of not doing what is needed to succeed. Does anyone have any advice?", "summary": "Pulled out of college because got kicked out of engineering. Do I just need to stop bitching and not be lazy or is there something else I should try to do?"} {"id": "t3_mkqaz", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "What's the strangest/meanest way you've been told you were one of the best?", "post": "Three weeks ago I quit my job waiting tables to take a job opening a brand new restaurant in a very nice neighborhood. The restaurant is known nation wide and the new store is 10,000+ square feet, so they hired around 70 servers to help open. Tonight was a dry run for friends and family and before the shift he called out names, including mine, said that he needed to talk to us all outside before the shift. With a frown on his face, the corporate trainer told us, \"There's no easy way to do this. We are making some changes, and we've decided to let you all go... HOME FOR THE NIGHT!\" He then explains that we are all the top servers there and he wants us to be the ones who wait on the bloggers/critics. I almost threw up all over the place. What's the strangest/meanest way you've been told you were the best?", "summary": "I was made to believe that I was being fired, and then told I was in the top 15 of the company."} {"id": "t3_2htzhw", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "How to I compliment my plus size girlfriend on her weight loss without it being awkward?", "post": "My girlfriend (28f) and I (29m) have been together for about four years. She is amazingly beautiful, both inside and out, and I plan on asking her to be my wife within the next few months.\n\nMy girlfriend has always been a big girl. I would estimate she was about 250lbs the entire time we have been dating. (I would be in love with her at any weight, size, shape, etc...) Over the past few months, she has been making a concentrated effort to lose weight. She has been going to the gym and has met with a nutritionist. You can see her progress, most notably in her midsection and rear end. I know she is looking to me for approval, but I am having trouble starting the conversation. \n\nHer weight has never been discussed at length. It is a non issue for me. I want to tell her how good she looks and how proud I am of her, but I don't want her to think that I found her unattractive before. I love my girlfriend so much. I want to tell her how proud of her I am. How do I start the conversation?", "summary": "My plus size girlfriend is losing weight. I don't want to make her feel like she was unattractive before. How do I start the conversation?"} {"id": "t3_1jteiv", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Girlfriend with eczema [22/F] told me [27/M] that I can sleep with another girl because she lost her sex drive (4 month no sex)", "post": "So yeah my girlfriend repeated me that I can sleep with another woman because she feels bad that she lost her sexual drive since her eczema has been really bad (4 months of perpetual rashes now)... \n\nObviously, I don't want to because I love her...\n\nHowever, she made me unsecure, I'm not sure of the reason why she lost her sexual drive, is it the eczema? Is it because she cheated on me? Is it because her job is stressing her out?\n\nI don't want to start an huge fight and have to justify the reasons of all of my questions to her..\n\nSo! What do you guys think this could mean?", "summary": "Girlfriend with severe eczema suddenly lost her sex drive and told me that I can sleep with another girl, why ?"} {"id": "t3_1q0rwn", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [30M] Dad, in a long term relationship being pursued by [20/F] and I feel wanted again", "post": "I [30/M] have been in a relationship with my SO [31/F] for almost 10 years. We have a two-year old, but even before her conception the spice and mutual interest was missing and that has been a downward road to sitting in silence at the dinner table and constant tiredness from working and dealing with the child. We have few common iterests left and I feel neglected and bullied at times at home. Her temper is becoming a constant annoyance to me.\n\n---\nNow a month ago I have noticed some interest from a younger aquaintance [20/F]and although I did not specifically act on them, I did on a couple of occasions put myself in a position to be near her. I at no point flirted and kept our relationship professional. She gets hit on enough at our office and did not want to add to her misery. I just thought it would be nice to have the warm glow of admiration on me fr once again.\n\nWork drinks and she hits on me. Hard. I don't reciprocate, but I also don't run away. Evening ends with a little bit of sexy talk and some light making out.\n\n---\nFast forward to now. We've chatted online, but no more than that. Now she wants to move it to the next level and have a sexual affair.\nI haven't felt this invigorated in years. My libido suddenly returned where I had hardly noticed it had even reduced. She says she'd leave her BF for me and could see herself having a proper relationship with me, but will (for now) be happy with a physical relationship.\n\n---\nI like feeling good, wanted and sexy again, but I don't want to be ''that guy'' who blew up his long-term relationship for a fling, putting my relationship with my daughter at risk. My SO would for sure make my life a living hell if this came out. \nI dream about ''running away with her'' and corny things like that, but am I just being silly and letting my hormones rule my common sense?", "summary": "Me, dad in long-term relationship am being seduced by a younger woman and I don't know whether to act on it or not."} {"id": "t3_2bjyop", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU By leaving the water on.", "post": "Backstory. I live in the basement of our house. Been known to leak water from time to time, but nothing too worrisome. In my room on one table in the center of the room I have my Xbox One, Xbox 360, and laptop computer. Also a bunch of games, and a nice video camera. \n\nAnyway, today I wake up to go to work and as I am upstairs washing my hands, my ride to work honks the horn. Without thinking I open the front door and tell him to give me a minute. I dry my hands off and off I go to work. Fast foward to about 5:00 pm and I get home from a long day of work. Go downstairs to my room and I notice that one piece of drywall is laying on my table. I'm not worried at the moment because I was thinking someone was doing some renovation and didn't clean up. No big deal. I move the drywall over and my table is completely wet. Fearing the worst I check the Xbox 360 sitting on the Xbox One, worst fears confirmed.\n\nI unplug everything as quick as I can and pick up the 360, slight water damage, might be fixable, nothing to worry about. Then I pick up the Xbox One and turn it to it's side. Water falls out, about 12 ounces by my estimation. Pick my laptop up, no water comes out, but it has been sitting in a pool of water. $1300 worth of equipment gone and no way of replacing any of it anytime soon (that job I went to, barely pays unless it's a specific contract I pick up).\n\nRight now I have the three major items drying outside. Any tips to salvage any of these three major items would be of great help.", "summary": "Went to work leaving the kitchen faucet on and came home to $1300 worth of garbage (more than likely)."} {"id": "t3_ppwd7", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Is my GF only interested in what I can do for her?", "post": "I am 26 years old. She is 23 years old. We have been \"dating\" for about 6 months.\n\nHello reddit, your opinions are greatly appreciated. In the beginning of our relationship, I have taken my girlfriend (23yrs old) to everything I can think of. Going out to dinners/concerts/trips. She never pays a dime, nor have I asked her to. She is a broke college kid, and I have a pretty decent paying job.. At first she made it pretty clear we were just kind of friends, then friends with benefits, now we are dating... (weird i know). .\n\nBut anyways, recently I moved out to NY to work for a financial institution. She tells me she misses me a lot and wishes I was there to be with her, (especially today being V-day). Our plans are for her to come out and see me on the 24th-28th... When she thought I flew back into town to visit/surprise her for vday, she told me that she would be pissed if she saw me today because that means she didnt think she would come see me in NY.. wtf? We also have plans for her spring break.. and again I would be paying for it all... \n\nBasically am I dating someone that is using me for my money? I may be sounding one sided as I write this, so the obvious answer is yes... but how do I really know? I even confronted her about this before I left for NY, and she didnt think she was... She even offered to pay for her ticket to come see me in NY... idk.. what do you guys/gals think?", "summary": "I am suspecting my relationship is based on what I can do..and not for who I am.. is she just using me for what I can do based on the things I do? How do I truly find out?"} {"id": "t3_1r30se", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Seeking advice: My office is dissolving and I'm about to be unemployed; I have a small amount of money in the company's \"profit sharing\" plan. I'm being told to roll it over into an IRA...what should I know/do?", "post": "I don't know what information is pertinent so I'm just going to throw data out there: I'm 29 but for my entire life my finances (and my older brothers' finances) have mostly been in the hands of my mother and before he died, my father. So...I'm a little clueless. \n\nI worked at this place just over 5 years and have accrued just under $5k in profit-sharing. I get that if I took the money *now* (to supplement rent/food etc while job hunting or blow on a", "summary": "Being laid off as company dissolves; just under $5k in profit-sharing...being told to roll into IRA. No understanding of finances or savings at all...need advice/guidance of any kind."} {"id": "t3_29xrvy", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [23/F] with my boyfriend [23/M] for six months, totally unapologetic after incident on metro.", "post": "I was on the train with my boyfriend of six months yesterday. We were standing in a really cramped subway car and he was essentially pressed up against me. At first, I thought it was some creep because he was like groping me, but then I realized it was my bf and thought nothing of it. \n\nAnyway, the train pulls into the next station HARD. For some reason, the idiots that built the station built the direction of the platform at a forty-five degree angle to the direction of the trains, so we hit a huge curve and \n\nBAM!\n\nmy boyfriend's foot comes smashing down onto my toes. I'm wincing in pain as I hold on for dear life as this train makes this break-neck curve and almost crying as it comes to a stop in the station. I ask my boyfriend if he realizes that he unleashed the pain of seven hells on my foot and he just says \"so what? Shit happens.\" \n\nBut wait, there's more! \n\nThe train now accelerates out of the station and it goes again around another curve faster than a speeding bullet. I look at my feet again to make sure I'm not missing any toes from the last encounter with a giant male-sized shoe, but instead I see my boyfriend accidentally tumble into this cute Chinese girl standing in the door. Immediately he's apologizing profusely; \"I'm so sorry did I hurt you????\"\n\nShe looked at him kinda angry but then said everything was okay. Then the two of them chatted all the way to our stop while I sat there almost tearing up from the burning sensation in my foot. \n\nWhat should I do, reddit? Am I over-reacting here?", "summary": "Boyfriend stepped on my foot hard and didn't say sorry, then stepped on another girl's foot and apologized profusely and proceeded to chat with her for the next fifteen minutes. What do?"} {"id": "t3_4ho1wx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Not sure about date ! (26 f/28 m / 2 months)", "post": "I have been seeing this guy for nearly 2 months. He is the most sweet and empathic person I have ever met. We share the same values and have same goals in life and I like how he is introvert like me and down to earth. \n\nHowever since I met him I have this big doubt in my heart that I can't put into words. I'm not sure if it's because I just got out of a 6 year old relationship 7 months ago and dating is all new to me. But I am not in love with him. I can't decide if he is the one for me and it tears me up because the more time I need to figure it out the more I will hurt him! \n\nI just don't feel any spark or any ping pong in our conversations. Honestly I think he is kinda boring (he is 28 but I think his behavior is more like a 40 year old) (I'm 26 btw) and i dont think he is fun in any way - humor means a lot to me. We are sexualy attracted to each other and I could see how we could get a long in a relationship, say, if we lived together because we match quite well. \nBut something in me is just not feeling it and I feel horrible for it. Other times the doubt is gone and I tell my self 'he is the one' but it's rare :( please no mean comments I just really need to hear people's opinion on this. \n\nI'm really afraid of losing something I might regret - because he is such a good guy and they are rare to find. Which is why I'm not sure why I have this doubt in me - because he is what I have always dreamt for except the lack of humor.", "summary": "new relationship is boring, but we would get a long really well and share same values and beliefs but I'm doubting and have been all the time ! If he is the right one"} {"id": "t3_2moss3", "subreddit": "tifu", "title": "TIFU by not realizing a Tinder girl was my coworker.", "post": "I work in a cool chain retail place of about 100 in my city. My job here is to work for people who call in sick, meaning if Joe calls in sick during my 2-10 shift, I leave my base store and drive to Joe's to work.\n\nWell I matched with this Tinder girl, and her profile picture had a picture of her in our company uniform, and she was a QT 3.14159 so naturally I started a convo, and we texted for a few days and I asked another coworker about her, whom said that she was basically the type of person who is a 9/10 in pictures, and a 4/10 in person.\n\nCue Today, I was sent to a store working with one of my favorite assistant managers, and the topic of Tinder came up. I said that 1/2 of the girls on there are hot, and of that, 1/2 of them are actually hot in person, usually they just take fake pictures to make themselves look way more attractive than they are. I then told him about the girl from our company I matched with. This is where the FU happens. He says \"You mean Anon over there?\" and she looks up. Turns out I was 5 hours into an 8 hour shift with this chick but she digitally selected her Tinder pictures so perfectly, I had no idea who she really was. So she luckily didn't hear and the rest of the shift was me being teased for using Tinder, and my bro assistant manager dropping hints to her about how we should get together.", "summary": "Matched with an 9/10 girl on Tinder, told assistant manager how all Tinder girls are really ugly but manipulate their profile, turns out I was halfway into a shift with said Tinder girl."} {"id": "t3_134c13", "subreddit": "relationship_advice", "title": "29/m found text on 28/f's phone to her ex", "post": "Been dating a girl for about 5 months now. Things have been good, but she has been a little distant these past few weeks. Hanging out a few nights ago and see that she gets a text from an ex who she has talked down about a lot. The text is a little fishy, so i open up the thread and see that she has told him that she dreams about them hooking up. This has really been bothering me, but I am not sure if I am overreacting. I understand that you can't control your dreams, but admitting it to an ex who wants you back?? I am hesitant to talk to her about it because of the whole 'I went through your texts' conversation, and also I am not sure if this is as big of a deal as I am making it out to be in my head.\n\nSo, am i blowing this out of proportion? Should I talk to her about it? Any and all advice would be appreciated.", "summary": "girlfriend texted ex, who wants her back, saying she dreams about him in a sexual way, what do i do?"} {"id": "t3_3a2aau", "subreddit": "Dogtraining", "title": "[help] Dog peeing when left alone and struggling with socialization", "post": "Hi all,\n\nI have a 1-2 year old rescue shepherd mix (I've heard husky mix or Schipperke as well) that has struggled with separation anxiety and leash reactivity since I adopted her 4 months ago. She's made huge strides in crate training, but recently she has started to pee when left alone outside of the crate even for 5 minutes. If I run upstairs for more than 5 minutes, I am almost guaranteed to come back down to a HUGE puddle of pee in the living room or in front of the patio door. She struggled a lot with housetraining at first to the point I thought she had a UTI. Since then I have limited her water intake (16oz of water 2-3 times a day) and take her out frequently to relieve herself. Obviously this is not a solution to the anxiety induced urination, but it has helped the frequency of accidents. The only time she's actively peed in front of me in the house is when she's sniffing at the door of the room the cats are in.\n\nAny advice on how to address this other than patience? When I crate her before I leave for work, she reluctantly goes into the crate but rarely does she have an accident in the crate or cry/bark anymore. She is not a destructive dog and I'd eventually like to leave her out of the crate when I run an errand rather than crate her for an hour or two. \n\nShe's a super sweet dog and we had our first successful(ish) interaction with some dogs last night after months of reactivity. She used to bark and jump like a lunatic when she'd see a dog \u2013 the trainer I used said it was a result of frustration and didn't seem aggressive. But last night on our walk we met a dog and she calmly went up but then proceeded to put her front paws on the dogs neck and just stand there as if holding her in place. She did the same to the next two dogs all the while wagging her tail. I assume she just needs time to figure out how to properly socialize but I want to keep her from setting off a dog with what seems to be like dominant behavior.", "summary": "Rescue dog pees (A LOT quantity wise) when left alone, even for a short period and is maybe not properly introducing/socializing with other dogs."} {"id": "t3_2dqwuz", "subreddit": "personalfinance", "title": "Need advice for strengthening my financial situation. Already have a 401k and no debt.", "post": "I'll be honest, I am quite new when it comes to managing my finances. I didn't even know what a 401k was, until I started my job last year. I've come here in search of advice for how I could further strengthen my financial situation.\n\nI'm a 24 years old (25 next month), with a salary job that provides a decent 401k program. Right now I'm contributing 8% to get the company match. I finished school in 2013 with a bit of student loans. My first priority was paying off my students. This was completed in Dec 2013. As of now I live at home, with no loans. My monthly expense consists mostly of groceries, gas, internet fees, membership fees, and $300 each paycheck to help with my parent's house payment. I plan to move out eventually, most likely after personal family issues subside. Maybe purchase a house?\n\nI have quite a bit of extra money in my savings account. I feel like I can dedicate a portion of it to my emergency fund. Even after I do that, I'd still have a bit of money left over. I feel like I should be investing the remaining funds into stocks or separate Roth IRA? Or maybe I should look into purchase property? I feel my money would depreciate over time and if I don't do anything. It feels like I am losing precious investment time. Any advice or recommendations would be appreciated. Thanks", "summary": "25 year old with no student loans. work salary job, already have 401k with company match, have extra money, don't know what to do with it."} {"id": "t3_1w9swx", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "Me [22M] with my significant other [22F] of 7 years, having doubts about wanting to stay in the relationship.", "post": "* I've been a long time user but mainly just lurked and never had an account and now I need some help with my relationship so I decided this would be a good place to get some good advice. \n\n* So my situation is I've been with my girlfriend for seven years. We started dating our freshman year of high school. We've stayed together the entire time and there was only one lapse during our senior year where we \"broke up\" for one day. Other than that we've never been seperate. \n\n* We are both each other's only significant other we've ever had. Each of us have both never dated anyone else or gone on a date with anyone else. \n\n* My problem starts with me wanting to experience being single and dating other people. I feel like I've missed out on experiences because I was tied down so early. \n\n* The next part is where I work I have a coworker that is really into me and I am also into her. I would like the opportunity to date her but I can't bring myself to just throw away seven years. \n\n* I do love this girl with all my heart but I fear it's not a romantic love anymore. She loves me more than anything in the world and dreams about the day we finally get married and have a family and life together. \n\n* What should I do in this situation? We do live with each other so breaking up would most likely mean she would have to go back home with her parents because right now she depends on me for expenses. I would feel bad having to crush any dreams she had just to make myself happy.", "summary": "Been in a relationship since high school, now not sure if romanticaly in love anymore and want to experience new people. Is it a phase or do I really want to get out of it?"} {"id": "t3_3pmpp1", "subreddit": "loseit", "title": "Metabolism changes, gained weight while I was trying to lose some. HELP", "post": "Hey guys!\nBasically I've always had quite a fast metabolism, you know that type of person that eats healthy and goes to the gym one day and loses half a pound the other? Yeah, that was me. I was trying to lose weight, and got to losing about 20 pounds. I had about 6-7 pounds left to go, super motivated, and I then started taking a new contraceptive pill that totally changed my body functioning. I gained about 6 pounds, but my habits are still similar. I can no longer ''eat healthy and go to the gym'' on one day and immediately see results on the other. I feel like my metabolism has slowed down, and it's starting to get me anxious... It's been two months on this new pill, now I'm 12 pounds over goal, vegetarian and still determined to lose it.\n\nCan you guys help me, give me tips/advice on how to boost my metabolism speed or how to fin more efective ways to lose it ''quickly'' please? Thanks :)", "summary": "was losing weight with a fast metabolism, started a new pill and now gained a lot and it slowed my metabolism. looking for effective tips"} {"id": "t3_35aciq", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [24F] step-second-cousin (?) [33M] asked me out on a date...I don't know how to feel.", "post": "This person is my step dad (of 6 months)'s first cousin, so I guess that would make him my step half cousin? It's such a distant relationship that I don't think it matters that much, but I still feel weird about it, considering the fact that he has the same last name as my step dad. We have met a few times and gotten along great, but I didn't think of it as more than that until this happened. I think he's cool and everything and would probably consider opportunity if I didn't consider him *part of the family*. BUT then again, we are nowhere near blood related, not even distantly, so ?", "summary": "Second step cousin asked me on a date. What level of weird is this? Am I just being awkward about the situation?"} {"id": "t3_3couur", "subreddit": "relationships", "title": "My [30 M] with my wife [30 F] of 6 years, together 11, tells me I am attacking her whenever I bring up topics she doesn't like", "post": "Ive been together with my wife 11 years and married 6, we have 2 small children 5 and 2. We almost never fight and we typically communicate very well, better than most couples I assume.\n\nDuring the majority of our relationship I held a lot of emotions in,especially negative feelings and didn't properly express them. I would bottle them up and push them aside and keep going with the flow. I would then \"blow up\" very angrily every few years and it would be done for a long while. I have since overcame this issue and have been freely expressing my negative emotions to my wife.\n\nHowever, now when I express my feelings which do not align with her point of view she says that I feel as if I am attacking her. I never express these feelings of anger in a negative way, I simply tell her how I am feeling and what is bothering me. I don't raise my voice or anything I am still very \"go with the flow\" type of chilled person even when angry.\n\nThe problem is that if I express any dissatisfaction with something my wife has done she immediately take is personally and somewhat turns it around on me for feeling the way that I do. \n\nFor example for fathers day a few weeks ago, she went out of her way to do something very special for her father, bought him a gift, had the kids make him cards etc..For me, however, nothing. Not even a card or a happy fathers day. This is in stark contrast to what I did for mothers day, going all out for her. At the end of day I was upset, kept it to myself (which I shouldn't do), she prodded a bit and got it out of me. I told her and then SHE GOT UPSET because I made her feel bad. She started crying (very manipulative), I called her out on it, and then I end up apologizing, its not a good situation. \n\nSo if anyone has any experience with this, or any way I can improve my communication I would appreciate it? I normally can figure these issues out on my own, but this time I am stumped.", "summary": "Wife gets upset if I express any dissatisfaction with something she has done, turns it around me. What can I do?"} {"id": "t3_p8li6", "subreddit": "AskReddit", "title": "Help get my friend's family out of harms way in Central America - Advice on immigration needed!", "post": "Hi Reddit,\n\nI got a text from a friend recently and he was informing of a problem. \n\nHe is a U.S. citizen but is originally from a country in Central America. His family is still in Central America and lived a quiet life until they were recently extorted for several thousand dollars. This country is much more corrupt than the U.S. so they don't want to talk to the police - it is likely the police are connected to the local mafia. \n\nAt this point he wants to get his sister (also a US citizen but living in central america), mother, and father out of the country.\n\nHe currently lives in the Chicago Area. Any help or advice is appreciated.", "summary": "Gunmen are threatening my friends family in central america and the family want to get the f*ck out! "}